SAE Love Theory Paper 5: Without Waiting for You / SAE 爱情论 Paper 5: 不等你
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SAE Love Theory Paper 5. This record holds the Chinese text and its English edition. The English edition is an independent rewrite of the Chinese text, not a translation; where the two differ, the Chinese governs. Each text comes with a quotation audit table.
This paper reads the layer of recognizing her as an end too: she has her own cannot-not. In SAE's levels, this layer is written 15DD. Love at this layer has two things in it: the cannot-not toward this one, irreplaceable, and the recognition of her as her own end; both hold on my side, and one-way is enough for it to hold. Inwardly, I do not need her to tell me that I love rightly; outwardly, I do not wait for her to love me first; my eyes need not keep returning to myself. She has her own cannot-not; I only recognize that it is there, and cannot read out its content; observation and communication can approach it, but reading it out is not possible.
Love at this layer is persistently exclusive and does not waver: this is this series' stance, and its ground lies in recognizing her as an end too: she is not my means of obtaining love; it is not derived from the general structure of this layer. This layer is not easy to achieve to begin with; it is a direction: in each moment in which this layer operates, the one loved is always she; operation may be interrupted, and falling back is very likely. Love at this layer does not demand exclusivity of her; whether she is exclusive can be decided only by her. Exclusivity belongs to love, not to recognition: the share of recognizing her as an end too does not grow smaller because one loves this one.
My cannot-not is not her must: her not loving me does not diminish my share of recognizing her; my loving her does not add a duty for her either; leaving to her is not submitting to whatever harm she does. The direction of colonization read from this layer is judging her law for her in the name of love, and demanding endless endurance in the name of love; the counterfeit that borrows this layer's name is accommodation, in which one's own share is handed over. Love at this layer can end; she leaves, and I acknowledge her leaving; exit does not delete recognition.
This paper interfaces with Kant, Velleman, Beauvoir, Murdoch, Fromm, Kierkegaard, Mencius with Yi Zhi, Zhuangzi and Wang Bi. It does not prove that unrequited love is higher than loving each other, does not prove that love at this layer is enough without needing a response, and does not prove that one ought to let go.
SAE 爱情论 Paper 5。本记录收中文正文与英文版;英文版是独立重写,不是翻译,两版不一致处以中文为准。两版各附引文审计表。
这一篇读认她也是目的的那一层:她有她自己的不得不。在 SAE 的层级里,这一层记作 15DD。这一层的爱有两样:对这一个不可替换的那一份不得不,与认她是她自己的目的;两样在我这一侧成立,单向就成立。对内,不需要她告诉我我爱得对;对外,不等她先爱我;眼睛不必时时回到自己身上。她有她自己的不得不,我只认它在,读不出它的内容;观察与交流可以逼近,读出不可以。
这一层的爱持续排他,不摇摆:这是这个系列的立场,理由在认她也是目的,她不是我得到爱情的手段;它不由这一层的一般结构推出。这一层本来就不容易做到,它是方向:在这一层运作的各个片刻里,爱的总是她;运作可能中断,回落是很可能的。这一层的爱不向她要排他,她排不排他,只能由她决定。排他排的是爱,不是认:认她也是目的,这一份不因为爱了这一个就少。
我的不得不,不等于她必须:她不爱我,不减我认她的那一份;我爱她,也不给她添义务;留给她,不等于任她伤害。从这一层读到的殖民方向,是以爱之名替她判她的法,以爱的名义要人无限承受;借这一层之名的冒充是迁就,自己那一份交了出去。这一层的爱可以结束;她走,我认她走,退出不删除承认。
这一篇与康德、威尔曼、波伏瓦、默多克、弗洛姆、克尔凯郭尔、孟子与夷之、庄子、王弼对接。这一篇不证明单恋高于相爱,不证明这一层的爱不需要回应就够了,也不证明应当放手。
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Relation: Cites · Resource type: Publication / Preprint · Scheme: DOI
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