[{"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The very first word here is a.\nIt's used with a noun to convey\nA singular notion\nLike \"a duck\" or \"a potion\"\nOr top notch as when used in \"Grade A.\"", "id": 1, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"I'm really hon'rably intentioned,\"\nHe said to a lass well dimensioned,\nBut she said, \"No, I'll leave\nFor I do not believe\nThe intentions that were aforementioned.\"", "id": 2, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If a bovine in some leafy glade\nShould swallow a live hand-grenade\nThen surely it's vile\n(Though the word makes me smile);\nIt's abominable \u2014 that's what he's made.", "id": 3, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The ham-handed chef at IHOP\nLost his grip, and his omelette went plop.\nSo he took up his pan,\nCracked three eggs and began\nAb ovo, i.e., from the top.", "id": 4, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Our abode, dear (that place with the smell),\nIs our palace (it's more like a cell)\nWhere we (plus your mother)\nCan be (at each other)\nTogether (a foretaste of hell).", "id": 5, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An actor too tall to play Frodo\nFound his career to be dead as a dodo,\nBut he twisted his spine\nIn an acinaciform line\nAnd auditioned to be Quasimodo.", "id": 6, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Quoth the office wall icon, \"Achieve!\nYou can if you'll only believe.\"\nThen I saw a bright light,\nFound the truth in the trite;\nNow I walk a new path, \"self-deceive.\"", "id": 9, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This project is daunting, no doubt.\nLet's hope we don't wane or burn out\nSince the simple reality\nIs true immortality\nIs what all this writing's about.", "id": 10, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Our tomatoes this year are abounding;\nThey're lush, red and ripe \u2014 just astounding!\nWe've run out of uses\n(We're making excuses)\nFor produce that's all but dumbfounding.", "id": 11, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I can often turn lead into gold,\nOr water to wine \u2014 I'm that bold!\nBut alchemy fails me\nWhen vanity nails me,\nAnd I try to turn young into old.", "id": 12, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm not one of you limerick chums,\nAnd the thought of an alias numbs.\nBut it's perfectly legal\nTo type for my beagle\nSince she lacks opposable thumbs.", "id": 13, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Alpacas are raised for their wool.\nYou shear till your coffers are full.\nYou live with disquiet\nLest no sucker buy it.\nThe wool o'er their eyes must you pull.", "id": 14, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I thought I could never afford\nTo tithe for the good of the Lord,\nSo I gave up belief\nWith a sigh of relief\nAnd now sin on my own sweet accord.", "id": 15, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Absentminded I am to a fault.\nI forget there's a pole when I vault.\nI have this tattoo\nLest I lose my name, too,\nSince forgetful is just my gestalt.", "id": 17, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My album holds each written stanza,\nA bountiful lim'rick bonanza,\nBut one is still missing\n(I won't have you hissing) \u2014\nMy tribute to star Tony Danza.", "id": 18, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Through life one should certainly strive\nTo be vital and truly alive.\nVitamins help\nAnd perhaps eating kelp.\nGood habits will help you survive.", "id": 19, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In a cozy, warm alcove I knit.\nIt's my hole-in-the-wall, poorly lit.\nI drop many a stitch,\nYet my goal's to enrich\nMy dear husband, whom this thing may fit.", "id": 20, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I snuffle, I sneeze, and I snort.\nI drip, and I wheeze.  I contort.\nDo you need a reason?\nIt's allergy season!\nAnd that is my nasal report.", "id": 21, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I sleep in a cold, dirty alley.\nI eat in a homeless men's galley.\nBut here between walls,\nEach eve as night falls,\nI can dream of how green was my valley.", "id": 22, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I dearly love pie \u00e0 la mode\nThough indulgence has frequently showed\nOn my belly, my butt,\nOn my waistline.  Tut-tut!\nLike Topsy, I 'spect I just growed.", "id": 23, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To my monitor I remain glued\nAs limericks come and are cued.\nAs verses mount up\nI cannot count up\nThe limericks that I've accrued.", "id": 24, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Aladdin was surely depraved.\nI was plucked from my lamp and enslaved.\nThe despotic young thug\nSought to fly on a rug.\nYou'd think he'd be better behaved.", "id": 25, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Let me acknowledge my aim.\nI'm not here to earn wealth or fame.\nI'm here to amuse,\nAnd that's not a ruse.\nIf I fail you, you've got me to blame.", "id": 26, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "All lim'ricks abolished?  No way!\nWhat else would we do here each day?\nNo verses to write\nOr read with delight \u2014\nA playground with nothing to play!", "id": 27, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Hell's bells!  Oh, phooey!  Oh, curses!\nWho's absconded with all of my verses?\nIt cannot be legal\nTo steal from Meg Beagle,\nAnd it certainly, truly adverse is.", "id": 28, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My roommate plays sax, alto sax.\nHis saxophone drowns out my fax.\nHe plays all afternoon,\nBut can't eke out a tune \u2014\nI think it's just talent he lacks.", "id": 29, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The Adirondacks are great for vacation,\nUp there at that high elevation,\nBut the struggle for breath\nSignals imminent death\nOf altitude asphyxiation.", "id": 30, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An Airedale is just a big terrier.\nAs dogs go, most others are merrier.\nHe's no ball of fluff\n(His coat is quite rough)\nAnd his howl is a dog's Kathleen Ferrier.", "id": 31, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "If you are a king or a queen,\nAlbacore tuna's your scene;\nIts white meat in brine\nIs oil free and fine;\nBut in mayo it's epicureen.", "id": 32, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Acapulcans like puffing on \"gold.\"\nThat Mexican weed, man, is bold.\nIt's primo, muy bueno,\nA ganja volcano!\nIt'll light up the joint (so I'm told).", "id": 33, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some people get off on aspersion\nAnd revel in animadversion.\nThey're carping, acidic.\nEach one is a critic.\nRelax! Take a summer excursion!", "id": 34, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This abattoir's grisly, a dive.\nNo animals ever survive.\nHey, you vonnegut sick?\nDo the butchery shtick?\nTake a tour of the Slaughterhouse-Five.", "id": 35, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a diplomats' ball in Dushanbe,\nAn ambassador named Abercromby\nWas feeling quite weak,\nTill he danced cheek Tajik.\nNow he no longer moves like a zombie.", "id": 36, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Geologists clearly agree on\nThe time that it takes for an aeon.\nTo me it's as long\nAs that Titanic song\nBy the popular diva, Ms. Dion.", "id": 38, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This audit's as broad as we've faced,\nBut in one sense we find it a waste.\nThough they look, touch, and smell\n(Even listen as well),\nThere's just no accounting for taste.", "id": 39, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Most Afghans who live in Kabul\nStill measure their beards with a rule.\nNow isn't it lame\nHow men are the same?\nSize matters, whatever the tool.", "id": 40, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some bodies just soak up the sun.\nTheir absorptance gets almost to 1.\nBut others reflect\nEven light that's direct.\nThey can lie out and never get done.", "id": 41, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Nigeria's capital city\nWas chosen, they say, by committee.\nIt's known as Abuja\u2014\nNot really so huge, a\nCommunity tranquil and pretty.", "id": 42, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This ABM treaty's sophistic.\nWhat it asks for is unrealistic.\nI challenge this notion:\nIf a missile's in motion,\nHow can it be antiballistic?", "id": 43, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was bored of the news in the media,\nSo I opened my huge cyclopedia.\nBut I'm yawning today.\nMy thesaurus (Roget)\nSays it's apathy, doldrums, acedia.", "id": 45, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Jesus Christ is betrayed by a kiss.\n(Thirty pieces of silver for this?)\nJudas purchases land\nCalled Aceldama and\nSpends eternity in the abyss.", "id": 46, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm leery of smelling a rose\nLest aciculas stick in my nose.\nThese thorns will draw blood\nThat turns into a flood . . .\n(That's as far as this limerick goes.)", "id": 47, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My son is a chemist of sorts,\nBut whenever he can, he plays sports.\nBefore soccer, I bark,\n\"What's acetamide, Marc?\"\n\"It's a solvent, Dad\u2014where are my shorts?\"", "id": 48, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're seeking a word that is neat-o?\nTake nitrile and prefix aceto-.\nWhat was cyanide will\nBe a solvent, but still,\nIf you drink it, your life is finito.", "id": 49, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When grammarians golf with their peers,\nThey'll imbibe a few cases of beers.\nSo accidence happens,\nAnd even the tap-ins\nAre missed midst the voices and cheers.", "id": 50, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The handicapped seem irrepressible.\nA hurdle? They make it finessible.\nBut now there are laws\n(It's a liberal cause),\nAnd the world is becoming accessible.", "id": 51, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a cause does a consequence flow.\nIt's the natural order, you know.\nThe reasons we share\nAre, accordingly, there\nTo explain why the outcome is so.", "id": 52, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The fish in a tank think it's great\nWhen people add air to their state.\nThey exhibit elation\nAt water aeration,\nSo don't you just stand there\u2014aerate!", "id": 53, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you're after a rodent of beauty,\nThe best you can get's an agouti.\nIt's an awfully big\nKinda faux guinea pig,\nAnd my goodness, Miss Piggy's a cutie.", "id": 54, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The terribly big and the small;\nThe short and the awfully tall.\nThe whole of creation\nHas this designation:\nThe word for the lot of it's all.", "id": 55, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If ever your temper should snap,\nYou should make no attempt to affrap\n(Which is to say, strike)\nAnyone you dislike,\nOr they might affrap back with a strap.", "id": 56, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Afforest\" is when you ensure\nYour land is all leafy and pure\nAnd all that's around\nBecomes hunting ground.\n(It's also a song by The Cure.)", "id": 57, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Just leave it, you rock-climbing creep!\"\nSaid a team-mate, \"I just want to sleep.\nThat peak is too high;\nIf we try it, we'll die.\nIt's arduous. Difficult. Steep.\"", "id": 58, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Transgressing the norms of society\nCan fill you with nervous anxiety.\nIf you don't want to get\nAn undignified sweat,\nYou should always behave with propriety.", "id": 59, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Apocalypse? Why, but of course!\nI knew it would come with some force.\nThe way we're all dead,\nAnd the sky has turned red,\nAnd the four of you, each on a horse.", "id": 60, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A person of some foreign race\nOr a little green being from space:\nWhatever their kind,\nIn each case you'll find\nAn alien's not from your place.", "id": 61, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "One word with an undeserved taint\nIs surely the infamous ain't.\nIt's all we have got\nTo shorten am not,\nAs amn't is awfully quaint.", "id": 63, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "This limerick needs no explanation\nAnd its rhymes have a stable foundation;\nBut the same won't be true\nIf misguidedly you\nSubject it to alphabetization.", "id": 65, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "At the concert, I wasn't so proud\nAs to push to the front of the crowd;\nBut I grovelled and pled\n'Til the girl ahead said,\n\"Oh all right, okay, you're allowed.\"", "id": 66, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A burning consumer did earn\nFive guineas: high income, Laverne.\nMost notions of price\nQuite rarely suffice\nTo undermine vehement yearn.", "id": 67, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A purchaser once was inspired\nTo purchase until he'd acquired\nAll he could as a buyer.\nHe was quite the acquirer,\nAcquiring until he expired.", "id": 68, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If Donald could only have waited\nUntil all his rage had abated,\nHe'd stop with the quacks\nAnd start to relax;\nBut no, he's just too animated.", "id": 69, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Acanthopterygii fishes\nAre good in all kinds of fish dishes.\nTheir fins are quite spiny,\nThey're ever so briny,\nAnd many are, frankly, delicious.", "id": 71, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The bitter-sweet taste, aigre-doux,\nIs passable in a French roux,\nBut it's a mistake\nTo eat aigre-doux cake,\nSo don't you be too eager to.", "id": 72, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "With a hose I shall water the soil\nIn my garden and then I shall toil\nTo roll up that thing\nIn the shape of a spring.\nYes, to save storage space, I accoil.", "id": 73, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Having acarophobia bites!\nI am frightened of insects and mites\nOr bugs that can squirm\nLike a larva or worm.\nJust the thought of them keeps me up nights.", "id": 75, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Abandonment's not very nice.\n'Fore you do it, you'd better think twice:\nIt's awfully unkind\nTo leave children behind,\nAnd illegal, so take my advice.", "id": 76, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "An acanthopterygian's fin\nIs all spiny. Its toothy, scaled skin\nProtects its insides,\nBut get past such hides\nAnd the fish you'll find tasty within.", "id": 77, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Ailuropodidae on your veranda?\nLook at that! Holy cow! Giant panda!\nDon't look so surprised;\nYou should have surmised\nWhen he sent you those twelve memoranda.", "id": 78, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Absentmindedness, I have been taught\nIs forgetting things that you should not,\nSuch as failing to do\nWhat's expected of you,\nOr like when you ... oh hell, I forgot.", "id": 79, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Hey, you! Enzyme lovers! Let's praise\nAcetylcholinesterase,\nWhich helps a nerve ending\nReceiving and sending\nAnd prevents nervous system delays.", "id": 80, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To those of you who are afflicted\nWith a thirst for a substance restricted,\nThe first step's to admit\nYou've a craving for it;\nThen seek help, for you know you're addicted.", "id": 82, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The design of a peg-leg prosthetic\nIn the days long ago was pathetic,\nBut doctors today\nHave a prettier way,\nBecause plastic makes limbs more aesthetic.", "id": 83, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Do you have ablepharia, guys?\nIf you do, then you'd sure win the prize\nAt a contest of staring.\nYour orbs would be glaring!\nYou were born with no lids on your eyes.", "id": 85, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Although aphids are pests to your plants,\nThere are some that are tended by ants\nFor their honeydew tears.\nDoes this nectar cause cheers?\nYou bet your sweet ass there's a chance.", "id": 87, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Akvavit, if it's liquor you need,\nHas the flavor of caraway seed.\nAquavit's the same drink;\nScandinavians think\nThat it's great, when on herring they feed.", "id": 88, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The birthstone of violet quartz\nKnown as amethyst, legend purports,\nProtects one from drinking,\nSo imbibe without thinking\nFrom cups made from gems of these sorts.", "id": 89, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "An abdicant, you might intuit,\nAssigned to a task, will not do it.\nMight be that he shan't;\nMayhap that he can't;\nEither way, he won't get around to it.", "id": 90, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "While I was out having a facial,\nI talked of our abbey palatial.\nI spoke (out of habit)\nOf abbess and abbot,\nThus making my gossip abbatial.", "id": 91, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Observe, won't you, with jocularity:\nMy functions have variable arity.\nThere's no fixed amount\nTo the operand count.\nYou supplied the wrong number? Hilarity!", "id": 92, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the tropic zone near Pensacola\nGrows the cherry-like fruit acerola.\nIt's high as can be\nIn vitamin C.\nWhy not sprinkle some on your granola?", "id": 93, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So the story is, Oliver Twist\nWas ahungered, and couldn't subsist,\nAnd was heard to implore,\n\"Oh please, sir, some more.\"\nIn seventeen words, that's the gist.", "id": 94, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At times it ain't nuanced or subtle\nDeciding 'tween neighbors just what'll\nDetermine the bounds\nOf their land and surrounds.\nThey can follow the line of abuttal.", "id": 96, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A canvas against which is thrown\nRandom paint by some total unknown\nIs just artless, I'd say,\nLike an awkward pli\u00e9\nOr Paul Simon when singing alone.", "id": 98, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When Peary set out resolutely\nFor the North Pole, he suffered acutely\nFrom frostbite and sneezing,\nTemps far below freezing.\nDid he miss his warm bed? Absolutely!", "id": 99, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My paramour's always adoring.\nShe'll lie at my feet like the flooring.\nShe's so near perfection,\nI've no thoughts of rejection \u2014\nIf only she'd cut out the whoring.", "id": 100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "He depicted the passionate tryst,\nHe examined each turn and each twist.\nHe was glad to uncover\nLady Chatterly's lover:\nD. H. Lawrence, a true amorist.", "id": 101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An amulet can be prosaic,\nBut can also be apotropaic;\nWhen you wear one, some say,\nIt keeps evil at bay.\nBut I'd say that such views are archaic.", "id": 102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The detritus that's left by a flood,\nAll the gravel, the silt, and the mud,\nOr riparian fines\nBraiding downstream designs,\nIs alluvium, water-borne crud.", "id": 103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "They're fruits of the type known as \"pome,\"\nEach a beaut, from Delicious to Rome.\nEating one every day\nKeeps the doctor away.\nI love apples, 'til worms make them home.", "id": 104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The abada's a hell of a flirt.\nHe likes to dress up for dessert.\nHe's a rhinoceros;\nHe looks so prepoceros\nIn the long flowing sleeves of his shirt.", "id": 105, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The amnion indicates skin\nThat an embryo's cosseted in:\nThe burgeoning jewel\nHas its own swimming pool,\nBe it flyer or crawler or fin.", "id": 106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An acolyte asked of his master\nThe term for a god of disaster,\n\"...Or the good and the new,\nWhat's a god of that too?\"\n\"Ahura.\" Thus spake Zoroaster.", "id": 107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "To most who are told it's a bore,\nWhat atomic mass units are for:\nBy law it is true\nThat one amu\nIs one-twelfth C-12's mass, nothing more.", "id": 108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Jurassic mosquitoes would blunder\nAnd die sealed in sap that we plunder.\nThough nature is cruel,\nEach bright amber jewel\nIs a time-travel window of wonder.", "id": 109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When alchemists do distillation,\nA staple of their occupation,\nThe alembic's the vessel\n(Not mortar and pestle)\nWhere heat leads to that transformation.", "id": 110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "By Aeneas was Troy well defended,\nBut wounded, he fled ere it ended.\nAs Virgil would tell\nIn his epic hard-sell,\nFrom Aeneas all Romans descended.", "id": 112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With amylogenesis flowing\n(It's starch biosynthesis going),\nThe hungry devour\nWhat's baked of the flour\nFrom tubers and grains that were growing.", "id": 113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Amygdala, home of my fears,\nAnd also of laughter and tears.\nThis almond-shaped grain\nIn the core of the brain\nWill remain enigmatic for years.", "id": 114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Marc Antony battled Augustus\nAnd Cleo remarked, \"They don't trust us!\"\nOff where Actium stood,\nIt was settled for good:\nCaesar's navy was much more robustus.", "id": 115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you are a weaver who's sighing\nFor deep reddish-purple for dyeing,\nThe root of the madder\nWill make you much gladder:\nAlizarin's well worth the trying.", "id": 116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you apricate often outside,\t\t\nOver-bask in the sun till you're fried,\nThough your skin will be tan,\nWhile it won't be your plan,\nYou'll wind up with a leathery hide.", "id": 117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you count 1, 2, 3 (yes, it's dull),\nFor forever, with never a lull,\nThen the value will wend\n(Even though there's no end)\nTo our transfinite friend, aleph-null.", "id": 118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The seed of the amaranth flower\nBeats wheat for its high protein power.\nAnother use, too,\nWas Red Dye Number 2,\nWhich was found to be bad to devour.", "id": 119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aqua regia, reagent of old,\nYou can purchase where acids are sold.\nHydrochloric and nitric\nWhen combined do a sleight trick\nAnd together dissolve even gold.", "id": 121, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Walter Scott, while not writing, hung out\nAt Abbotsford, his Scottish redoubt\n\tNow many towns are so named\n\tThough there's none quite so famed\nAs the one with the Invalid Stout.", "id": 122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Of all of the crimes that exist\nThere's a few that are worst on the list:\n\tRegicide, patricide;\n\tGenocide, matricide;\nAnd being an accordionist.", "id": 123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "A mayonnaise-loving young goalie\nWould make up huge drums of aioli\n\tFrom crates full of egg,\n\tLemon juice by the keg,\nAnd garlic in volumes unholy.", "id": 124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "The abelia's so pretty, I think\nWith her flowers of red, white, or pink.\n\tThe frost doesn't please her\n\t(Don't put in the freezer!)\nBut she does have a most pleasin' stink.", "id": 125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "An aphid's a bug, I suppose\nAnd he sups on the sap of the rose.\n\tHe's exceedingly tiny;\n\tJust 2 mil. from his heinie\nTo the tip of his aphidy nose.", "id": 126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Abrachia-racked chimpanzees\nGet terribly troubled by fleas,\nAs without arms attached\nThey're unable to scratch.\nSadly, nor can they clamber up trees.", "id": 127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The sails are aback when a breeze\nFrom the front makes you stop on the seas.\nIf you lock with the braces*\nSails back in their places,\nThey're abox; you'll drift backward with ease.", "id": 128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "That gray metal arsenic is best\nTo bump off an unwanted pest\n\tWhether rat, bird, or mouse;\n\tBeetle, cricket, or louse \u2014\nOr welcome-outstaying house-guest.", "id": 129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Lawyers' archives hold motions and pleas,\nBankers' archives store records of fees.\nA realtor's has deeds;\nA botanist's, seeds;\nNoah's ark-hives: just one pair of bees.", "id": 130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Some words are so heavy they stay\nOn the list and they won't go away.\nBoth sides will exhort us\nAbout the abortus;\nWe'll be censured whatever we say.", "id": 131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "My limericks, I hope, make the \"Stay\" list;\nI'd rather not write for the \"Nay\" list.\nAnd, oh, how I pray\nThat someday I may\nHave at least one or two on the A-list.", "id": 132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Sun-dried earth and some straw make adobe.\nYou can use it to build in the Gobi\nWhere it's hot and it's dry\nBut you ought not to try\nTo apply it at Lake Okeechobee.", "id": 133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Van Gogh, Baudelaire, and Verlaine:\nConsidered, by some, quite insane.\nTheir emerald-green drink\nMay have led, so I think,\nTo absinthism, wasting the brain.", "id": 134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "It's a chair of wide slats made of wood \u2014\nSlanted seat, slanted back, and it should\nSit outside on the lawn.\nSettle down with a yawn;\nAdirondack's a chair that feels good.", "id": 135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "When an astronaut's strapped into place\nHe will radio back to his base,\n\"All systems are go\nA-OK, in the flow \u2014\nSo let's blast off and head into space.\"", "id": 136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "What's wrong with this picture, please tell:\nKing Tut said, \"Embalmers, work well.\n'Cause my mummy must last \u2014\nAD 10 and far past,\nPlease wrap me so well I don't smell.\"", "id": 137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "An abb\u00e9 who was based in Quebec\nSaid, \"This abbey is one total wreck.\nTo fix the church spire\nI'm planning to hire\nEngineers from L'\u00c9cole Polytech.\"*", "id": 138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "In my brain was a lim'rick aborning.\nIt arrived just like that with no warning.\nWrote it down in a trice,\nSent it off quick and nice \u2014\nThe OEDILF on this day it's adorning.", "id": 139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "I'm a member of A A R P.\nI enlisted on my jubilee.\nHot damn, I'm retired\nAnd not yet expired,\nSo I'm off to go surf Waikiki.*", "id": 140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "There once was a sheik named Abdul\nWho caused congresspersons to drool.\nHe offered them bribes;\nThey misread the vibes:\nABSCAM was the FBI's tool.", "id": 141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "If it's sterile, it's thus abacterial.\nThat's a fact which I find quite surrearial.\nNot a germ in the place,\nNo, not even a trace,\nFor their presence might make me feel queerial.", "id": 143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Akhenaten to his wife Nefertiti\nWrote in hieroglyphs, not in graffiti:\n\"I'll locate your tomb\nIn the abapical room\nAnd not at the apex, my sweetie.\"", "id": 144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "My abri is the place meant for me.\nIt's a hole in a hill where I flee:\nGives me shelter from storm,\nKeeps me cozy and warm \u2014\nI can hide, settle back, sip Chablis.", "id": 145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Do you suffer from PTSD?\nAbreact and you'll finally be free\nOf the stress and the strife\nThat has messed up your life.\nReliving the trauma's the key.", "id": 146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "In my new A-line skirt I just shine.\nIf I say so myself it's divine.\nThe waist it is narrow,\nThe hem it has flare \u2014 Oh,\nHow I'll dance in these fine threads of mine!", "id": 147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Abaxile, abaxial: \"away\nFrom the axis\" is what they both say.\nBut ial's a leaf's dorsum\nAnd ile is used for some\nSweet apples with cores gang agley.", "id": 148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "It's a muddy white egg of a town\nAt the north of the plain Esdraelon.\nIt's what Issachar got,\nPart of Joshua's fourth lot \u2014\nLittle Abez, so tin-pot and brown.", "id": 149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Abaxile's a word that can mean\nAway from the axis, as seen\nIn an apple whose core\nIs off center; what's more,\nThat's true if it's red or it's green.", "id": 150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The percent of the sun's radiation\nThat gets stuck in a window's translation:\nAbsorptance, it's called\nWhen the energy's stalled \u2014\nIt's sort of like glass constipation.", "id": 151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "There once was a beast of Tibet. He\nMeandered the mountains. I bet he\nWould make way for no man:\nThe Abom'nable Snowman,\nThe one that they know as the Yeti.", "id": 152, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "I'm frightened of mites 'cause they bite.\nA tick? I just faint at the sight.\nPlease make no mistake, for\nMy bad case of acor-\nophobia makes me uptight.", "id": 153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The Department of Homeland Security,\nWith all of their brains and maturity,\nSays, \"The threat is Code Red;\nExpect to be dead.\"\nAn advis'ry not marked by obscurity.", "id": 154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The adzukis are beans from Japan\nColored burgundy red, rarely tan.\nThey are highly nutritious\nAnd oh so delicious;\nTheir sprouts have a taste like pecan.", "id": 155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "George Bush and Dick Cheney and all \u2014\nTheir adventurist notions appall.\nEven though they'll deny it,\nThe facts just belie it \u2014\nGood grief!  They're invading Nepal.", "id": 156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "When you're walking along on the strand,\nThe adlittoral's quite a thin band.\nIt's the part that's just kissed\nBy the spray and the mist;\nIt's not really water; it's land.", "id": 157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I witnessed the year with three zeroes,\nMy mind is much clearer than Nero's.\nI'm Aelfric the abbot;\nIn English monk's habit\nI study New Testament heroes.", "id": 158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The dogfish of Erie looks funny;\nThe Finger Lake's bowfin costs money.\nDeny if you wish,\nThese are the same fish:\nAmia is fresh-water tunny.", "id": 159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If lazy-eye darkens your view\nOr poisons corrupted that too,\nOr you go for some ethyl\nBut get too much methyl \u2014\nAmblyopia's what's ailing you.", "id": 160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Not long after photos began,\nOne \"type\" was a flash in the pan.\nDaguerre had a winner,\nAnd tin-types were thinner,\nSo ambrotype's glass \"also-ran.\"", "id": 161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In Asgard reside the Aesir\nSuch as Odin and Loki and Tyr,\nThe gods of the Norse\nAnd a warrior force\nFeasting nightly on boar-flesh and beer.", "id": 162, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Great Jupiter's loves are his moons;\nHis girdle each orbit festoons.\nHis surrogate mother\nIs tempted to smother:\t\t\nAmalthea, third of the lunes.", "id": 163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "A well-spoken young Indonesian\nContracted a cortical lesion.\n\tHis sentences hence\n\tNo longer made sense:\nAcataphasia wrecks verbal cohesion.", "id": 164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Grandpa Abraham: earliest Jew\n(Ditto Christians and Muslim folk too).\nGod enjoined: \"Kill your son!\"\n'Twas about to be done!\nThen an angel said, \"No, that'll do.\"", "id": 165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Accho is a town, if you please\nThough its name reminds one of a sneeze.\n\tIt might sound like a cold\n\tBut it's Biblical (old!)\nAnd a port, not some awful disease.", "id": 166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "For a context-free grammar, the norm\nIs ensuring your syntax conforms.\n\tFor SMTP\n\t(And such RFCs),\nThey use Augmented Backus-Naur Form.", "id": 167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "If you want a nice clean armadillo,\nYou'll need strong soap, a rag, and some Brillo.*\nWhen you've caught him and tubbed him,\nAnd rubbed him and scrubbed him,\nThen wrap him up well 'gainst a chill-o.", "id": 168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "When the weather gets hotter and torrider\t\nAnd winds become savage and horrider,\nAdvis'ries are clear,\t\t\t\t\t\nNumber twelve for this year: \t\t\t\t\nIt's a hurricane heading for Florider.", "id": 169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Diversion with pleasures enshrined\nAnd revelers bawdily wined\nWith Bacchus and Venus\nEntwining between us\nIs anacreontic defined.", "id": 170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbarenblat", "limerick": "Hurricanes widely are hated;\nTheir destruction seems random, not fated.\nSimple walks on the beach\nBecome quite out of reach\n'Til the storm has passed by, or abated.", "id": 171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An abluent, please keep in mind,\nCleans a residue that's left behind.\nIt's familiar, I hope,\nAs detergent, or soap.\n(From the Latin abluens, you'll find.)", "id": 172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Four stomachs in ruminants run\nDigestion:  The rumen is one,\nReticulum, two,\nOmasum into\nAbomasum, then eating is done.", "id": 173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When your thoughts are both deep and profound\nAnd you're longing to awe and astound,\nIf you speak with abstrusity,\nThen expect much obtusity\nFor such language will only confound.", "id": 174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The accompaniment to a song\nIs a melody that's played along.\nIt's not the main line\nBut together they're fine\n'Til the accompanyist gets it wrong.", "id": 175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When you have diff'rent things to compare\n(Say, perhaps, one is dark, one is fair)\nIt is not at all rude\nTo point out they ablude.\nIt just means they're unlike, I declare.", "id": 176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When your milk missed your cup the first try\nAnd you need the whole floor to be dry,\nAbsorbent's the wipe\nThat will clean in one swipe:\nYou'll no longer have reason to cry.", "id": 177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When Cupid with arrows takes aim\nAt a fellow, or else at a dame,\nHe shoots out a dart\nWhich pierces a heart\nAnd sets a new lover aflame.", "id": 178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "How can frogs discern other frogs' sexes?\nIt is something that really perplexes.\nBut the frog knows, with glee,\nWhich is he, which is she,\nSo they're able to pair for amplexus.", "id": 179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Anesthesia, everyone knows,\nDecreases sensation. Suppose\nThat acro-'s the kind\nWhich you have, then you'll find\nThat you can't feel your fingers and toes.", "id": 180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Actinolite: rock that is green.\n(It's the iron that gives the green sheen.)\nWithout iron it's white,\nThen it's called tremolite.\nIts crystals are long, thin, and lean.", "id": 181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "In mathematics, a term that is rare\nIs the acnode, which states with great care\nThat this point may still get\nTo be one of the set\nThough apart from the rest, like a spare.", "id": 182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The archer who loved life agrarian\nWas considering settings riparian,\nFor placing a farm\nBy a river with charm\nSeemed better for courting Maid Marian.", "id": 183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Acromonogrammatic holds true \u2014\nEnding letters start lines that are new,\nWith each letter that starts\nSo the former line parts.\nSay \u2014 it's not very easy to do.", "id": 184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Of adactylia one might suppose\nThere's no benefit anyone knows.\nBut one thought yet lingers\u2014\nIf you're born without fingers\nYou're never caught picking your nose.", "id": 185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When you're lying in bed wide awake\nAnd you can't go to sleep 'cause you ache,\nAnd your head is so sore\nYou can't take any more,\nAcetaminophen gives you a break.", "id": 186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "I have no dark sin to confess;\nOf marriages, I've made no mess;\nAn adulteress I'm not,\nBut I flatter a lot:\nAdulatress, yes, that I'd profess.", "id": 187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "The absonous singing of Bob\nMade Alice's head pound and throb.\nHe just wouldn't stop\nSo she called for a cop.\nNow in Sing-Sing he sings with the mob.", "id": 188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "It's naming a sound by a word,\nLike for \"B\" you instead would say \"bird,\"\nOr in Hebrew, let's say,\nIt is \"aleph\" for \"A\":\nIt's acrophony. (Phonics? Absurd!)", "id": 189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The linguist was filled with frustration\nWhile trying to give a narration\nFor each consonant stop\nGot an extra air pop\nWhich is what he would call affrication.", "id": 190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When everything ends at its worst\nAnd all of your bubbles have burst,\nAnd you've no luck at all\nAnd no further to fall,\nIt may be that you are accurst.", "id": 191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Abiogenist designates one\nClaiming life is from nothing begun\nIn bad meat or foul hay,\nBut he won't get his way:\nOmne vivum e vivo, my son.", "id": 192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If you find yourself in a rough spot\nAn adage may help fix your lot:\n\"Never leap without looking.\"\n\"Extra chefs spoil the cooking.\"\n\"Water boils when you don't watch the pot.\"", "id": 193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My uncle is quite like a hawk.\nNot of eyesight nor mien do I talk.\nHis accipitral trait\nIs one far less sedate.\nHe eats rodent and snake \u2014 please don't gawk.", "id": 194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "His genius has long been in bloom.\nEven as he vacated my womb\nMy son learned (while he crowned)\nHow the world rotates 'round.\nAborning, his cranium went vroom.", "id": 195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My senator's flip-flops impress\nWith their frequency  (not their success.)\n\"On the one hand,\" he'll say;\n\"On the other\" next day.\nHe must be ambidextrous I guess.", "id": 196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Acorus, a genus of lily,\nMakes floors smell quite pretty, not silly.\nFor a riotous scent\n(If that is your bent)\nTry banana peel \u2014 slip willy-nilly!", "id": 197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "A duet, who performed The Mikado,\nMixed \"fortissimo\" and \"agitato.\"\n\tThe flute gave a blast;\n\tThe piano played fast \u2014\nBut too slowly to dodge the tomato.", "id": 198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Caesar Adrian, Roman of sense,\nBuilt a wall that was thick and immense.\n\tKept barbarians out,\n\tBut the neighbours did shout\nAt the bill for their half of that fence!", "id": 199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "When your skull, as a matter of fact-a-ly,\nHas a shape that is not quite exact-a-ly\n\tAll smooth, round, and sleek,\n\tBut it comes to a peak:\nWhy, that's acrocephalosyndactyly.", "id": 200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "If your oxygen usage is whacked,\nSampling gas from your blood can, in fact,\nHelp the specialists see\n(From results ABG)\nThe cause of your problem, exact.", "id": 201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "If an athlete's a sportsman elite\n(Strong or clever, or just fleet of feet)\nThey should have an address\nWhich just screams out \"success\" \u2014\nSuch as \"Number One Picabo Street.\"", "id": 202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "When served spinach, some hate it and heave it;\nThose who love it, run off and retrieve it.\n\tBut for those called \"ambivalent,\"\n\tBoth views are equivalent:\nThey're the folk who can take it or leave it.", "id": 203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Resistance impedes current's flow;\nAnd conductance is what lets it go.\nAbhenries measure the latter\n\t(Though a henry's much fatter):\nThey're both named for Joseph, not O.", "id": 204, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Of names for a boy, we adored nought\nFrom dozens of references store-bought.\nBut we'd long known the name\nWhich we'd use for a dame,\nSo we named her with \"Alice\" aforethought.", "id": 205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "\"Adenovirus!\" the doctor proclaimed,\n\"That is surely the bug to be blamed\nFor your consternation,\nImpaired respiration,\nAnd those things in your throat \u2014 so inflamed!\"", "id": 206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Americium's souped-up uranium;\nJust add neutrons: come on, use your cranium!\n\tYou should treat it with care,\n\tIt's expensive and rare:\nYou can hide it beneath that geranium.", "id": 207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Acathexia's an unpleasant ride\nAs it saps all the spring from your stride.\n\tYour bodily secretions\n\tTurn into excretions\n'Cause you just cannot keep them inside.", "id": 208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Suited actuaries, forecasting aces,\nEvaluate insurance cases.\n\tThey can weigh up your fate\n\tAnd work out your death date\nTo twenty-five decimal places.", "id": 209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Well our alphabet's fixed (though just barely)\nAt a lean twenty-six (quite unfairly).\n\tBut when English was born,\n\tWe had both e\u00f0 and \u00feorn \u2014\nAlso \u00e6sc (which can still turn up, rarely).", "id": 210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Though some say it reeks of pretension\nI've long been quite fond of abstention.\nFor I'd read in the papers\nOf my liquor-fueled capers;\nNow my exploits don't merit a mention!", "id": 211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "\"Oh, Brawny!\" the housewife did coo,\n\"I'm ever so taken with you!\nYou soak up each spill\nWith improbable skill!\nSuch absorption is seen in so few!\"", "id": 212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "For a tempo that's fast (well, a bit)\nAllegretto's how one should emit.\nWhen batons start to fly\nYou should not be so shy;\nPlay allegro, it's slow not a whit.", "id": 213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Major Tom said, \"Acousma ain't fun.\nThis latest form pains me a ton.\nThese hallucinations\nWere of buzzing sensations.\nNow I'm hearing the sound of a gun.\"", "id": 214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My ex used to frequently sneeze.\nNow she's left me, and breathes with great ease.\nSeems the allergy's cause\nWas one of my flaws.\nHer allergen? 'Twas my pet fleas.", "id": 215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My husband's a foul-looking guy\nSo I'm having affairs on the sly.\nI've got needs, I've got eyes;\nNow I've got some hot guys.\nThey say \"Love has ablepsy.\" \u2014 a lie!", "id": 216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "The lighthouse up there on the left?\nOf meaning, it seems quite bereft.\nIt alludes to Nantucket\n(And Nan and her bucket.)\nTo know this, you'd need to be deft.", "id": 217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "An abohm's not too hard to resist.\n\"It's quite like an ohm,\" declares NIST,\n\"But the challenge to the charge\nIsn't nearly as large.\nJust divide by a billion and twist.\"", "id": 218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "The dealer turned down a Van Gogh.\n\"He was human!  Alive!  No, no, no!\nWorks made by machine\nAre now rocking the scene;\nAbiogenic is how we must go!\"", "id": 219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Though Webster's claims dogs can be called\nWith \"alloo,\" I became quite appalled\nWhen I tried it and found\nThat producing this sound\nSummoned canines, but then I got mauled.", "id": 220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ambrosia, the food of Greek gods!\nDon't complain how it tastes, or the odds\nAre that Zeus will get mad,\nAnd for you, 'twould be bad,\nIf you haven't installed lightning rods.", "id": 221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When I try for a sport, running track,\nI get nixed 'cause of skills that I lack.\n\"But Daffy,\" Coach begs,\n\"You've webbed feet and short legs!\"\n\"That's damned ableism!\" I quack.", "id": 222, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Acephalism \u2014 having no head \u2014\nIs a plight which, by rights, leaves you dead.\n\tBut should you not die,\n\tYou're in luck: You can buy\nA kiddie-size three-quarter bed!", "id": 224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Amicus is Latin for \"friend.\"\nIn a courtroom, its meaning will bend.\nIt's a brief by some smarty\nWho's not the suit's party\nBut cares how the trial will end.", "id": 225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "As for anarchy, I'm no supporter,\nSince it lacks all political order.\nBut the government looks\nLike a bunch of rich crooks\nAnd I'm tempted to run for the border.", "id": 226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's the young college grads' first abode,\nWhere they pay monthly rent that is owed.\nWhether crib, flat, or pad,\nAn apartment ain't bad\n'Long as roomies don't hog the commode.", "id": 227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Apoplexy sure feels like you'll burst \u2014\nBlow a gasket, or what is the worst:\nHave a genuine stroke\nWhich, my friends, ain't no joke\n(Though with rehab, effects might reverse).", "id": 228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "There once was a plump adolescent\nWho wept, \"I am so adipescent.\nI'm, like, totally jumbo,\nI'll soon look like Dumbo \u2014\nI'd much rather look prepubescent.\"", "id": 229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I told you already, I shan't.\nMy mining ability's scant.\nThis crystalline stone\nHas a mind of its own.\nIt's adamant. Move it? I can't!", "id": 230, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If traveling makes you a wreck\nAvoid an antipodal trek\nTo the opposite end\nOf the earth \u2014 and why wend\nYour way there when you'd rather rent Shrek?", "id": 231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a word that is in disrepute.\nLadies titter and gentlemen hoot\nWhen they hear, to their shock,\nSomeone yell, \"It's acock!\"\nTo announce that a gun's set to shoot.", "id": 232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I awoke in Malang, Indonesia.\nFelt no pain, so I asked \"Anesthesia?\"\nThen the nurse by my bed,\nWith a smile softly said\n\"No it isn't.  It's just analgesia.\"", "id": 233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "Poor Fido was sadly untutored\nIn keeping himself well accoutered.\n\"I've got what I need\nTo get busy and breed,\"\nHe declared.  Then his folks had him neutered.", "id": 234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My Lamaze accoucheur at the birth\nThinks the mind can move heaven and earth.\n\"Just relax,\" he says, \"Breathe!\"\n\"Et mais oui, Doc,\" I seethe.\n\"And may you pass a stool with this girth!\"", "id": 235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Now here is a riddle to try:\nJust when is an eye not an eye?\nThe answer is clear:\nWhen the eye is anear,\nWhich means it is very close by.", "id": 236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The nature of beauty and taste\nIs worth study, but please, not in haste.\nFirst ponder aesthetics,\nThen brush on cosmetics\nWith skill, so you won't be defaced.", "id": 237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Albizzias are flowering trees\nWhose feathered leaves sway in the breeze.\nThey're best known as mimosa;\nFeel free to come closa\n'Less allergies cause you to sneeze.", "id": 238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "When the chromosome daughters would kindle,\nIt would seem that their numbers would dwindle,\nBut now science can prove\nIt's an anaphase move\nTo the poles of the nuclear spindle.", "id": 239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An affair always starts with the thrill\nOf passion and lust and goodwill.\nBut in time, when lust fades\n(In a month or decades),\nIt can end in a real Arctic chill.", "id": 240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "\"My love is unchanging, enduring,\"\nHe said to the maiden alluring.\nHe added, confidingly,\n\"And that means abidingly.\"\nSince then she's no longer demurring.", "id": 241, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In CDX, Rome was sacked.\nThe Empire's defenses just cracked.\nThe Visigoths pretty\nWell burned up the city\nWhen Alaric's army attacked.", "id": 242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "\"We can never be sure, at the best,\"\nAcatalepsy, the Skeptics professed.\nEvery answer's \"We guess,\"\nNever straight \"No,\" or \"Yes,\"\nSo they wouldn't do well on a test.", "id": 243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "With good manners your children acquaint.\nPlease teach them to act with restraint.\nDon't let them run wild\nLike a savage's child,\nCausing little old ladies to faint.", "id": 244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my youth I was slim as a rose.\nI could easily bend, touch my toes,\nBut now where I'm at\n(Please don't say that I'm fat)\nAll this tissue is called adipose.", "id": 245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The absorbate's the thing, don't you know,\nThat inside a solution will go.\nWhether liquid or gas\nIt will hide all its mass\nWithin something like pure H2O.", "id": 246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Adventists say signals portend\nThat they'll soon gather round and ascend.\nSo what I'd like to know\nIs, before they all go,\nDo they have any money to lend?", "id": 247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A thermodynamically static\nContainer is adiabatic.\nWith surface impassable\nHeat's not amassable;\nCan't say as much for my attic.", "id": 248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The medical student lacked zest\nOn his aetiological test.\nHe proffered long pauses,\nBut not any causes,\nWhich made his professor distressed.", "id": 249, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Two or three words, when combined\nIn a single word, may be defined\nAs an agglutination:\nLike \"Serbo-Croatian\"\nOr \"laptop\" or \"payment-in-kind.\"", "id": 250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The astronaut never foresaw\nThe blast from the thing with a claw.\nThe damage was scary,\nAnd admaxillary:\nIt fractured, severely, his jaw.", "id": 251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our provost, historically hated,\nThinks deans should be re-educated\nIn how to be sinister\nWhen they administer\nSanctions and rules he's instated.", "id": 252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "To fill overfull is the ploy,\nOverload and to stuff:  to accloy.\nTo cram to the top\nUntil ready to pop,\nBut if chocolate's involved, what a joy!", "id": 253, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Now these beetles are marvelous things.\nIn the kingdom of bugs, they're the kings.\nThis is true of them all,\nExcept ex-Beatle Paul,\nWho is apterous now \u2014 without Wings.", "id": 254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "There's a colorless, volatile juice\nThat's forbidden for underage use.\nYou can drink alcohol\nWithout any withdrawal,\nBut it won't respond well to abuse.", "id": 255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a noun, the word affect's emotion,\nAs a verb it's a different notion.\nTo tell them apart\nIs a mystical art,\nOne affects an affect of devotion.", "id": 257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Alfalfa as stock feed's OK;\nMy horse wolfs it down with a neigh.\n\tBut as food for us folk \u2014\n\tWell, I fear it's a joke:\nQuite frankly, I'd rather eat hay.", "id": 258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Please don't consider me dim,\nIf I should go out on a limb\nAnd state quite laconically\nAaronic, Aaronically\nMeaning \"of or relating to him.\"", "id": 259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "By accede it is usually meant\nTo agree or to give one's consent\nBut you can also accede\nTo the throne and indeed\nThat must cause a tremendous content.", "id": 260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Just once in the Roman arena,\nI was sent in to face a hyena.\nI distracted the beast\n(His hostility ceased)\nWith Hyena Chow made by Purina.", "id": 261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I am crazy about ambiguity,\nThe surprising denotive gratuity,\nLike a layered haiku\nOr the logical goo\nThat's mistaken for mental acuity.", "id": 262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Acer's an autumn delight;\nTourists gasp at the beautiful sight.\nSome maples yield syrup,\nWhile others just cheer up\nThose fighting against urban blight.", "id": 263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "The gymnast, despite ankle sprain,\nDid flip after flip down the lane.\nWith luck for his cause\nThe thund'rous applause\nOverpowered his loud cries of pain.", "id": 264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An alligatored surface has cracks,\nJust like the beasts' leathery backs.\nWould the word apply, too,\nIf one bit off your shoe?\nWho knows? But you'd rue the attacks.", "id": 265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Go-getters and slackers don't mix\n'Cause ambition will separate cliques.\nWhile some zone on the tube,\nOthers figure the cube\nOf four thousand, five hundred and six.", "id": 266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "A penguin, resplendent in tux,\nHas homing skills just like a duck's.\nTo achieve the South Pole,\nHe just heads for his goal:\nThe Southern Cross tail, Acrux.", "id": 267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Affectionate dogs are a blessing.\nThey're never downbeat or depressing.\nTheir love is sincere\nAs they're licking your ear.\nIf you have one, you're lucky, I'm guessing.", "id": 268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At reunions he often would strum the\nGuitar while proceeding to hum the\n\"Fight Fiercely\" school song\nOr perhaps sing along\nIn the hope that he'd charm an alumna.", "id": 269, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Yo mama's a ho!\" said Jos\u00e9.\nRay responded: \"For that you will pay!\"\nSoon brothers and cousins\nAnd friends by the dozens\nBroke out in a rowdy affray.", "id": 270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A beau without ardor's a cheat,\nDon't matter he's otherwise sweet.\nShow feeling he must,\nOr his suit will go bust\nAnd romance crash and burn in defeat.", "id": 271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Since apnea speeds one's demise,\nKeep breathing  while sleeping; it's wise.\nShould one be supposing\nOne's snoring is closing\nOne's airway, get checked 'fore one dies.", "id": 272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The three faiths we call Abrahamic\n(The Christian, Judaic, Islamic)\nNever seem to agree\nSo they fight endlessly.\nAlas, it's a trying dynamic.", "id": 273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "If you're lost and you need to retrace\nAll your steps, you should do it with grace.\nDon't stumble unknowing.\nPlease watch where you're going.\nIt's easy: you must about-face.", "id": 274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes and Virge", "limerick": "As a stag shows his antlers while strutting,\nSo the stamen holds anthers out-jutting.\nWhen there's pollen to blow\nA sweet stigma's the go\nLike a buck needs a doe during rutting.", "id": 275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Apocope's droppin' the endin'\nWhen you jus' can't be bothered expendin'\nYer breath on las' letters\nTo soun' like yer betters.\n'Snot breakin' the language, it's bendin'.", "id": 276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Amnesiac characters star\nIn movies whose plots often are\nAbout solving a crime\nWhen one's memory's not prime\nWhile avoiding a booby-trapped car.", "id": 277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "You've abstracted the abstract I wrote.\nYou've left me distracted, don't gloat!\nYou've pinched my pr\u00e9cis;\nReturn it, mais oui!\nYour behavior has gotten my goat.", "id": 279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The Pillars of Hercules rise\nWhere the Strait of Gibraltar's the prize.\nThe Calpe food's socko;\nIn Abila, Morocco,\nIt's b'steeyas, those sweet pigeon pies.", "id": 281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a sauce for a king or the rabble.\nThe garlic alone makes me babble.\nI confess I am wholly\nIn love with aioli.\nIt's also a great word in Scrabble.", "id": 282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\u00c9tienne is not active politically;\nHis oeuvre explores analytically\nThe accented \u00e9\nIn th\u00e9 and caf\u00e9.\nHe will likely, I'd say, die acritically.", "id": 283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On Advent some folk glorify\nChrist's birth with lit candles held high,\nBut those less devout,\nIf they're merchants, might shout:\n\"Only twenty-eight days left to buy!\"", "id": 284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When meeting St. Pete at the gate,\nConceal all your feelings of hate.\nWithout his approval\nYou're prone to removal,\nSo best clear the sins off your plate.", "id": 285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If studying causes you pain,\nTry oxygenating your brain.\nAerobics each day\nEvery ill will allay,\nBut the music might drive you insane.", "id": 286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Marie to the manor was born.\nShe frequently chose to adorn\nHerself with gold rings;\nAll her sumptuous things\nOften filled her detractors with scorn.", "id": 287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "These young mustard greens, eaten in salad,\nMake it tangy, while iceberg tastes pallid.\nAs arugula, rocket,\nRucola, we stock it.\nRoquette and Eruca are valid.", "id": 288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino and speedysnail", "limerick": "In floodwaters, staying afloat\nCalls for use of a watertight boat.\nOr, if plucky (and lucky,\nAnd sans rubber ducky):\nHold tight to a backstroking goat.", "id": 289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adactylous, everyone knows,\nMeans \"clawless\" (from Greek it arose).\nLobster lovers, please pause\nBefore pulling their claws\nAnd consider your fingers and toes!", "id": 290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "She had ailurophobia \u2014 that's\nAn intense fear or hatred of cats.\nHer acidic aspersions\nOn both of my Persians\nCaused most of our squabbles and spats.", "id": 291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "From the scaffolding ledge Bobby slipped,\nBut with harness and wire was equipped.\nDangling high in midair,\nHe kept cool, didn't swear;\n\"Look at that \u2014 he's Aplomb Bob!\" we quipped.", "id": 292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "With a poker opponent who's vicious\nYou had best ante up when he wishes.\nShould you hold back your due\nBetter flee to Peru\nOr you'll wind up asleep with the fishes.", "id": 293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "You can seek a full chest, but it's harder\nTo find women who have a full larder.\n I don't mean to be rude,\n But I really love food;\nThrough my stomach's the way to my ardour.", "id": 294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The Stooges, my slapstick of choosing,\nI find to be awfully amusing.\n Every slap, every gaffe,\n From me garners a laugh;\nIt's funny when Moe is abusing.", "id": 295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Since investing in some other nation,\nI love currency in fluctuation.\n It is always so nice\n When stock rises in price;\nI appreciate appreciation.", "id": 296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "It's potentially worth abdicating\nWhen your popular mandate's abating.\nIf you cling to your throne,\nAs by French kings is known,\nYou'll be headed for decapitating.", "id": 297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Agapornis (or African lovebird):\nThat fig-eatin' high-up-above-bird!\n\tHe takes up a wife\n\tAnd keeps her for life,\nUnlike that adulterous dove-bird.", "id": 298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is hard to be charming and smart\nWhen you're asked to explain abstract art\nWhere the line and the smear\nOf paint there and here\nSpeak not to the head but the heart.", "id": 299, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "For a cook who would like to amaze\nAnd to earn admiration or praise:\nTry a sauce with some zing;\nFrench aioli's the thing.\nIt's a garlicky, rich mayonnaise.", "id": 300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rusty", "limerick": "A mysterious murderer (serial)\nAntiseptically wiped all material.\nThey searched night and day\nFor a clue (DNA),\nBut his traces were all abacterial.", "id": 301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The Philosopher's Stone, so I'm told,\nCan transmute worthless lead into gold.\n But an alchemist friend\n Said they brazenly tend\nJust to coat it with brass, and act bold.", "id": 302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Drinking cocoa would make me morose\nIf 'twere spiked with a vinegar dose.\n I'd be hoping for sweet,\n But be met with defeat\nIf the taste were a bit acetose.", "id": 303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "When seeking to study aikido\n(As martial arts go it's quite neat-o)\nI think you shall see\nThe traditional gi\nWorks better than wearing a Speedo.", "id": 304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "Aglitter, agleam, and aglow:\nThe difference is subtle, I know.\nOne sparkles with light;\nThe other shines bright,\nAnd the third may be caused by Merlot.", "id": 305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "I applied to become a Freemason,\nBut they laughed at my lone application.\nSaid, \"You need the support\nOf a member cohort\nTo get into this organization.\"", "id": 306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've never been badly abused.\nMy trespasses all were excused.\nI'm always well treated\nAnd never defeated.\nAll my life I have happily snoozed.", "id": 307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If for larger returns you're solicitous,\nAn acclivous graph is felicitous.\nThat curve sloping higher\nMay let you retire\nUnless your advisor's duplicitous.", "id": 308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "If you find that you'd like to alight,\nWhat you do at the start is take flight.\nIf you land without grace\n(On your rear or your face)\nThen you haven't alighted, alright?", "id": 309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Could it be when sweet amity ceases?\nShould I say it's the transfer of leases?\nYes, alienate\nMeans these things \u2014 Oh, but wait!\nIt could also mean Pieces of Reese's.", "id": 310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My name used to make machines flee.\n'twasn't alphanumeric, you see.\nThey'd say \"INPUT NAME? _____\"\nAnd then burst into flame\nWhen I'd type \"M-colon-slash-A-T-T.\"", "id": 311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I once had a case of amnesia.\nWhere was I?  I think Micronesia.\nI don't really remember\nIf 'twas May or November,\nBut I cured it with milk of magnesia.", "id": 312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mother Nature, when shove comes to push,\nMay position your face on your tush.\nIt's called aberration,\nLike a purple carnation\nOr a good beer from Anheuser-Busch.", "id": 313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A chaplain, Howell Forgy by name,\nPraised God, then he asked men to aim\nWith passed ammunition.\nSoon, this admonition\nSecured him great public acclaim.", "id": 314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The assurance of those with aplomb\nIs a wonder to see \u2014 they're so calm!\nThey never seem fussy,\nNot even when mussy,\nNor vengeful like Carrie at prom.", "id": 315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "An old African Christian, or Adamite,\nThought nudeness would make his God glad a mite.\n\tSocial mores today\n\tWouldn't cause him to stray\n(But skidding along the macadam might).", "id": 316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "While disrobing, a young girl from China\nTook offense at her doctor's one-liner\n\t(She'd a pain most severe\n\tIn her chest, like a spear)\nThat it sure was acute, her angina.", "id": 317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "In the hot Amazonian summer\nIt's embarrassing being a plumber.\n\tWhen the weather is ripe,\n\tBoas leap from the pipe \u2014\nAnd a death by aboma's a bummer.", "id": 318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Aidoneus, a.k.a. Hades,\nI'm sure was a hit with the ladies.\nThis underworld god\nWould today pack a rod\nAnd be seen in a stolen Mercedes.", "id": 319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Anglican chum of my mum's\nIs so clumsy, we say when he comes:\n\"It's the maladroit minister,\nTr\u00e9s ambisinister.\nLeft hand or right, he's all thumbs.\"", "id": 320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "One sprinter, tripped up, gave a howl\nAnd three others just threw in the towel\nWhen a mallard's loud quack\nAddled all on the track:\nThat's what happens when ducks run afoul.", "id": 321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a crime that belabors belief\nSome villainous black-livered thief\n(How on earth will I dine\nWith no pre-dinner wine?)\nWent and hijacked my aperitif.", "id": 322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A smiling young fellow from Spain\nFell asleep while aloft in a plane.\nIn spite of his smile (it\nWas he who was pilot)\nHe never went flying again.", "id": 323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A pirate who's good with his sword\nCan vanquish a mutinous horde,\nThen induce the battalions\nThat guard Spanish galleons\nTo smile and say \"Welcome aboard!\"", "id": 324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "How boys and girls form an alliance\nIs not explicated by science.\nThey date, he sends roses,\nThey mate, he proposes,\nAnd that's how two people affiance.", "id": 325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "Andy Carnegie proudly did say,\n\"I shall give all my money away.\nThen I'll go down in hist.\nAs a great altruist,\nWhich carries a pleasing cachet.\"", "id": 326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "My darling one, how can you go?\nHow ever I'll cope, I don't know.\nOh please do not leave me!\nThat'll surely aggrieve me,\nBy which I mean cause me great woe.", "id": 327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "\"Please accouter me,\" cried Sergeant Hall.\n\"I need guns and a tank. That's not all.\nI'll need many things for\nThis sad business of war,\nBut I won't need this pink parasol.\"", "id": 328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "When calling and asking for Terry\nI confess that I felt very wary.\nWas it \"Madam\" or \"Mister,\"\nPerhaps \"Brother\" or \"Sister?\"\nAndrogynous names can be scary.", "id": 329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "Underwater I'm plagued with such ills.\nIn addition to fever and chills,\nI gasp, and I seethe;\nI simply can't breathe.\nI'm abranchiate (lacking in gills).", "id": 330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"An aeronaut: That's my true calling,\"\nSaid the blimp driver as they were falling.\nSaid his testy wife Violet,\n\"You're only a pilot \u2014\nAt which, may I add, you're appalling!\"", "id": 331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the windflower wilts in Gethsemane\nAnd the weeds are regaining hegemony,\nThe gardener will turn\nTo the cinnamon fern.\nWith a frond like this, who needs anemone?", "id": 332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Aleutians are isles in a chain\nWith a barren, forbidding terrain.\nAndreanof and Fox?\nThey're essentially rocks\nYou can get to by boat but not plane.", "id": 333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Norwegian cuisine can't be beat.\nThe gravlax with dill is a treat.\nBut the lutefisk in lye\nMakes the strongest men cry.\nSo to down it, they chug aquavit.", "id": 334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm eating my dinner: I slurp.\nI'm done with my dinner: I burp.\nMy appetite's great.\nNothing's left on my plate.\nSince you still have food: I usurp!", "id": 335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "This is the age of Aquarius.\nIts dawning brought benefits various.\nYou can ask, \"What's your sign?\"\n(The dog star is mine.)\nAfter that it gets pretty nefarious.", "id": 336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "See, the thing about hedgehogs and snails\nIs in heat, their efficiency fails.\nSo they use aestivation\nWhich is like hibernation\nBut reversed; they skip summer's travails.", "id": 337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "In the year numbered 1913,\nTo see if one's hearing was keen\nDoc P made a tool\nWhich was really quite cool;\nHis acoumeter's tick reigned as queen.", "id": 338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An airplane was tested one night\nBy two Chinese men seeking flight.\n Wong Fei-Lu and Wong Ping,\n Crashed and failed to take wing,\nProving two Wongs do not make a Wright.", "id": 339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Sick of low-carb regimes? Feeling jaded?\nTry my diet, the best yet created!\nEat cream pies in huge mounds,\nAnd lose fifty-five pounds!\n(Hope you don't mind your legs amputated.)", "id": 340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ross Perot did well when he debated\nBut our love for him quickly abated.\n Claims of Martians in scores\n And his odd metaphors\nMade supporters feel alienated.", "id": 341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If I'm seeking acquist (gain for me),\nThen I'm acting acquisitively.\n My acquisitiveness\n Means I want to possess\nRoughly everything that I can see.", "id": 342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although John Quincy Adams was president,\nTo re-elect him the country was hesitant.\nHis post-mortem check-up\nShowed \"Dead from the neck up\"\n(Much the same as today's White House resident).", "id": 343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Said the Empress, \"These limericks, I fear,\nMake me wonder why I persevere.\nDoes this guy write and parse\nWith his thumb up his arse?\nFor there's no ars poetica here.\"", "id": 344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "\"Hey, I gave you Commandments, you clods,\nWith which allotheism's at odds!\nNow you're getting Me pissed \u2014\nAt the top of the list\nIt says, 'Thou shalt not worship strange gods!' \"", "id": 345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The gorilla's an ape, it is true;\nAnd the chimp and orangutan, too.\nPrimatologists hold\n(Or at least I am told)\nThat in many regards, so are you.", "id": 346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "What an algebra wizard was Dex;\nHe had no trouble solving for x.\nHis astute calculations\nWere, alas, sublimations\nFor a sheer and complete lack of sex.", "id": 347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're planning to ship out of state\nA load that's excessive in weight,\nHave no fear, use your brain,\nRent a truck, ship by train:\nYou need not be afraid to affreight.", "id": 348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Much Ado About Nothing, Will wrote.\nAn \"ado\" is a fuss, so I note.\nBut \"tempest\" is, too,\nA word for \"ado.\"\nWill wrote re that, too.  Shall I quote?", "id": 349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Here's an anagram (not my devising),\nAnd it doesn't need any revising.\nDo you find it odd\nThat \"dog\" becomes \"god\"?\nWell, I find it quite unsurprising.", "id": 350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Analgesics eliminate pains.\nOverdoses degenerate brains.\nThey're needed for buffering\nAches one is suffering,\nBut never for pains that one feigns.", "id": 351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "After drinking a hot cup of coffee,\nMy dentist looked up. With a scoff, he\n Said, \"Your tooth is abscessed.\n Now whatever possessed\nYou to trade in your toothpaste for toffee?\"", "id": 352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "ADHD means you've a proclivity\nFor disorders of hyperactivity.\nYour attention will race\nJust all over the place.\nThere's a deficit of productivity.", "id": 353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "\"Casablanca is way overrated!\"\nSay my friends. So I've often debated,\n\"'Play it, Sam' is the best!\"\nAh, but still they protest,\n\"Black and white films are so antiquated.\"", "id": 354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At midday a sandwich will do\nFor many lunch-munchers to chew.\nBut certain wordcrafters\nIndulge in some afters:\nA sweetmeat they eat for course two.", "id": 355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My diet is not so restrictive;\nI don't find it over-afflictive.\nYou say, \"Give up fat?\"\nI can do without that,\nBut chocolate is much too addictive.", "id": 356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ever since England's church had a schism,\nThey have faced much sectarianism.\n But for me that won't fly,\n So I practice anti-\ndisestablishmentarianism.", "id": 358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ayn Rand wasn't quite idealistic\nWhen she said people aren't altruistic.\n Helping friends is insane\n If it's not for our gain,\nBecause life is just capitalistic.", "id": 359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To Shakespeare, adust meant that one\nWas a little bit red from the sun.\nNow when something's adust,\nIt is burnt, like the crust\nOf a pizza that's waay overdone.", "id": 360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Simple phrases are sometimes, I fear,\nA long distance from lucid, my dear:\nSuch as \"they're mixing bowls\"\nOr \"they're watering holes.\"\nAmphibologies clearly aren't clear.", "id": 361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A lamprey, before it's an eel,\nIs larval, with little appeal.\nThe ammocoete burrows\nIn undersea furrows\nOf sandbeds in search of a meal.", "id": 362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "At first he was very elated.\nThe thrill he had felt then abated.\nThough his costume had wings,\nWhen he jumped from the swings,\nThey flew off, and he wasn't alated.", "id": 363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Your friendship has always been key.\nFor that, I now call you amy.\nChaucer's words, I'll revive\nThough I doubt they'll survive\nAnd I'll write them all down for a fee.", "id": 364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The candidate, in his oration,\nProvided his foes with elation.\nAs he flipped left to right\nThey were filled with delight,\nAnd accused him of gross abjuration.", "id": 365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "In the Hague, there's a judge I once knew\nWho from Amsterdam came by canoe.\n He said, \"Clogged though it be,\n It's my hometown, you see,\nAnd I'd love to go back, wooden shoe?\"", "id": 366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Mother's sister is frequently pissed.\nShe insults me and snatches my wrist.\nSince it's she starts the fight,\nI would think it's all right\nThat I call her my Aunt-agonist.", "id": 367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I'm not an alumni. Here's why:\nI'm only a singular guy.\n  If it's one grad from school,\n  The grammatical rule\nIs alumnus. (And I'm Sigma Phi.)", "id": 368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A letter named aitch did 'ide out\nTo prove wen it isn't about\nDat its lack spells da knell\nOf bot' 'eaven and 'ell\nAnd ruins t'ings for da devout.", "id": 369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Biological weapons we hate\nInclude anthrax, once woolsorters' fate.\nIts lesions unnerving,\nPOs are observing\nPrecautions with each powdery crate.", "id": 370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The corpse flower's quite a rare plant;\nIt's huge, and it stinks\u2014that I grant.\nIts phallic appearance\nAnd need for tall clearance\nLure tourists who smell it and rant.", "id": 371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "What's the substance that floats everywhere\nIn the space where there's nothing else there?\nWe thought phlogiston once,\nBut unless you're a dunce,\nYou now know what we breathe is called air.", "id": 372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If my constant bad punning offends,\nI'll aby so that we can stay friends.\n I will gladly endure\n This ordeal as the cure,\nAnd aby you a drink as amends.", "id": 373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "When improving a bad situation,\nYou are using amelioration.\n An ameliorator\n Makes lousy things greater,\nAnd helps remove points of frustration.", "id": 374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Absorbency's something we seek\nWhen a laugh or a cough makes us leak.\nAmong boomers who need\nUnderpants that don't bleed,\nAdult diapers just might become chic.", "id": 375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Ahasuerus thought Esther was hot,\nSo he married her right on the spot,\nUnaware she was Jewish\n(As king, he was newish);\nShe convinced him to have Haman shot.", "id": 376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Most immigrants, red, white, or blue,\nAmericanize, starting anew.\nSome adults keep old ways\nWhile their kids heed the craze\nTo reject every Old World taboo.", "id": 377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Is an alienator just tripe,\nLike a movie that Arnold would hype?\nNope, it means someone who\nEstranges his crew\nAnd gives them all reason to gripe.", "id": 378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "First, make sure your champagne's been on ice.\nNext you grab the agraffe and twist twice.\nOnce you give it a torque,\nIt'll free up the cork,\nWhich when popped yields a drink... paradise!", "id": 379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's called agrodolce in Rome,\nAigre-doux when Lyon is your home.\nIts sour-sweet taste\nIn a sauce or a baste\nAdds real zest, says my friend Chef Guillaume.", "id": 380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Self-abusiveness means that I've dealt\nTo myself lots of pain that I've felt.\n I've abusively beat\n On my poor little feet\nTo the point where they're both sporting welts.", "id": 381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "Afforestation afficionado\nNamed Johnny went by a strict motto:\nFirst pull all the weeds,\nThen insert the seeds \u2014\nThe apple tree, not the tomato.", "id": 382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "He wrote of the city Dodona\nAnd of Zeus and of Enyo (Bellona).\nHis great innovation\n(To create conversation)\nWas to add in a second persona.", "id": 383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "\"Stop writing those limericks,\" she said,\n\"And join me at once here in bed.\"\n\"But dear, what I'm doing\nIs vocab accruing.\nI've new words galore in my head.\"", "id": 384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "A quantity, sum, or account:\nAny one may be meant by amount.\nThe verb definitions,\nBy limerick conditions,\nI've run out of room to recount.", "id": 385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "Sal Sweeney's the adjunct professor,\nCalled \"adjunct\" because he's the lesser\nOr assistant lit. prof.,\nObligated to doff\nHis cap and to answer, \"Why yes, sir!\"", "id": 386, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "You say accoy's too antiquated.\nA verb meaning soothe, it's quite dated.\nBut listen here, boss.\nIt worked for old Chauce',\nSo I'll use it and not be berated.", "id": 387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "After dinner I queried my chum,\n\"Have you any post-prandial gum?\"\nBut he did not have any,\nNot for love or a penny,\nSo he answered, \"Alas, I have none.\"", "id": 388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "I wait, and I wait, and I wait.\nBut my problems? They never abate.\nI'll be waiting forever\nFor life to get better,\nTo improve or ameliorate.", "id": 389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "The ugly stepbrother felt blue\nWhen his new plastic surgeon fell through.\n\"Now mister, take heed.\nIn your case you'll need\nA magician to adonize you.\"", "id": 390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK", "limerick": "I can't ever dine on crab claws,\nNor any d\u00e9lice that one gnaws.\nAs an agnathous fish,\nWere I granted one wish,\nI'd acquire a fine set of jaws.", "id": 391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "With special computerized tools,\nTo simplify life, human fools\nHave built their own bane,\nTo our abject disdain;\nArtificial intelligence rules!", "id": 392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "Music made solely by voice\nPresents a most difficult choice.\nShould one run down the fella\nWho sings a cappella\nIn a Jaguar or in a Rolls-Royce?", "id": 393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a victim of boundless ambition.\nI'm reaching the point of contrition.\nShould I be head of state\nWith a suitable mate?\nMy desires could use some attrition.", "id": 394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Absolved of all criminal charges,\nMy view of the future enlarges.\nI won't be in jail,\nMy fate to bewail.\nThe court system also discharges.", "id": 395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "While I used to give freely for alms,\nI admit I've been having some qualms\nSince each outlay of bucks\nBrings an influx of schmucks\nWho are mooching and holding out palms.", "id": 396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "It won't win our trust, necessarily,\nTo brush off unpleasantness airily.\nThat tone, though it's breezy,\nMay leave us uneasy,\nFor wise is the one who treads warily.", "id": 397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "My brilliant speech met its abruption\nBecause of an ill-timed disruption.\nI'd much more to say,\nYet the crowd ran away\nFrom a trifling volcanic eruption.", "id": 398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "While flick'ring forked tongues are their fame,\nSome snakes have tongues shaped like a flame.\nBut a genus of fern,\nAnd some lilies, we learn,\nAll share adder's tongue as their name.", "id": 399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you told me that moles were acrotic,\nI'd think you were quite idiotic.\nSince they're usually found\nLiving deep underground,\nThey'd find surfaces highly exotic.", "id": 400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"Act of God\"? That's our feeble excuse\nFor disaster we didn't deduce.\nIf you blame the Big Guy\nThen you shouldn't be shy;\nWhy not call it \"dumb creature abuse\"?", "id": 401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "They determined their lives worth aligning\nAs each for the other was pining.\nIt tugs at your heart\nTo keep puppies apart,\nEspecially with all of that whining.", "id": 402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "The sword on each shoulder alighted\nAs we witnessed Sir Lancelot knighted.\nYou expect he'd be cheered\nBut he wept in his beard\nFor his love of the Queen unrequited.", "id": 403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "The albacore tuna is canned.\nI look at the label and brand\nFor dolphin-safe nets,\n'Cause even my pets\nThink Flipper for dinner's not grand.", "id": 404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Back in college, my frame I'd abuse\nWith all-nighters of B.S. or booze,\nBut those days are long past;\nNow it's rare that I last\nTo the end of the ten o'clock news.", "id": 405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the breeze, under trees, I will read a\nLine of verse, and converse with my Frida.\nWe'll drink pink lemonade\nOn the long promenade:\nI'm a fool for the cool alameda.", "id": 406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acatalectic means a pattern's complete,\nLike a line with just so many feet.\nIn a poem, I should stress,\nNothing more, nothing less,\nIs my goal except for those times when I've spent the entire previous night reading Ogden Nash causing me to explain to shocked on-lookers the next day, \"It's not a run-on sentence \u2014 it's an homage!\" to which they respond, \"Oh my, yes, well isn't that sweet!\"", "id": 407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a chemist begins to admix\nBe on guard, we may end in a fix,\nThe outcome: corrosive\nOr even explosive.\nSome scientists play nasty tricks!", "id": 408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If handed a plate of alfalfa\nBefore I could taste it, I'd ralph a\nDeposit of barf\nOn your fancy-pants scarf:\nI'm a male, don't you see, and I'm alpha.", "id": 409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our butler was just a tad starchy.\nWhen we asked him to chop down the larch, he\nResponded: \"Good sirs,\nI don't do conifers!\"\nAnd his eyebrows grew terribly archy.", "id": 410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Said a man to the reverend, \"So,\nYour mate Jesus... like, how can you know?\nDon't you find it quite odd,\nThis assumption he's God?\"\nAll he said, with abruptness, was: \"No.\"", "id": 411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The degrees I received were advanced,\nWith diplomas so fancy I danced\nAt commencement that day\n(Ph.D., MBA).\nAll that pomp left me well circumstanced.", "id": 412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Workshop", "limerick": "Ablation's an int'resting word\nFor \"precision excision,\" I've heard.\n\"Ablate!\" said the surgeon.\n\"Her hormones are surgin'!\nIt looks like my golf's been deferred.\"", "id": 413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "As a critic I always will start\nBy tearing the opus apart.\nCompare and contrast;\nBe impressed, be aghast.\n(But I really can't tell if it's art!)", "id": 414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Hygienics is most evolutionary,\nThough progress is now revolutionary.\nFor our health there is hope\nSince discovering soap\nAnd adopting a course that's ablutionary.", "id": 415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "As a poet, some critics debase me,\nWhile others I think just erase me,\nBut limerick fans\nRise up in their stands\nLoudly clapping their hands to aggrace me.", "id": 416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Commas are simple & curly,\nQuote marks are tiny & girly;\nBut though it's just \"and,\"\nUse a strong ampersand\n& dare to be pushy & surly.", "id": 417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The apiculus (point) on his leaf\nCaused a prick, giving Adam much grief.\nEve relieved him of gloom\nWith the fruit of her loom:\nAn original, soft cotton brief.", "id": 418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Phyl Reinhard", "limerick": "Though he entered the labyrinth unfazed,\nA wrong turn left him puzzled and dazed.\nTwists and turns, ins and outs,\nCaused directional doubts....\nAt the exit he felt quite amazed.", "id": 419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Up in Russia lies Aleksandrovsk,\nA port town like Petropavlovsk.\n As Tom Lehrer once mused,\n The third rhyme to be used\nIs a town that's named Dnepropetrovsk.", "id": 420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Of my girlfriend's delusions I'll cure her;\nFrom her gods, she'll become an abjurer.\n I will teach her to see\n She should just worship me.\nMy pecan rolls, I'm sure, will help lure her.", "id": 421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "As the voting routine was explained,\nAt my sides both my hands still remained.\n I could not raise one yet\n Due to underarm sweat,\nSo I sat there and simply abstained.", "id": 422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An accessory helps with a crime\n(Spelled accessary some of the time),\nBut it's also the word\nFor the baubles absurd\nThat will help make your outfit sublime.", "id": 423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A man ate the plant we call artichoke.\nWas this to be some kind of party joke?\nFirst he bit off the leaves,\nThen complained of the heaves!\nGood clue! We then knew from the heart he spoke.", "id": 424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "An acanthoid man enters a bar\n'Cause that's where the ladies all are.\nBut his shape (like a thorn)\nIs met solely with scorn.\nThe women fear getting a scar.", "id": 425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "My darling's erotic (salacious)\nBoudoir is invitingly spacious.\nAh! Her soft languid drape\nAnd eyes almond, a shape\nI can only call amygdalaceous.", "id": 426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The arctangent's a function from trig\nWith a fanciful S-curve, not big.\nI could further expound,\nBut most folks, I have found,\nFor this subject could not give a fig.", "id": 427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The ailanthus we have to eschew;\nTake a pass on the alliums too.\nAmaranth, amaryllis\nWe shun like they'd kill us \u2014\nThey've allergens out the wazoo!", "id": 428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "I just heard a medical rumor\nThat my eye's full of aqueous humor,\nBut I can't see the joke\nBecause I'm the poor bloke\nWho is blind from an ocular tumor.", "id": 429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Libraries tend to be usable\nHaving books that are highly perusable.\nLibrarians state\nThe books mustn't be late,\nAnd a borrower's rights aren't abusable.", "id": 430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Affettuoso is how you should play it.\nI don't know how else I should say it.\nTo make it appealing,\nPerform it with feeling.\nWhen your heart shows the way you obey it.", "id": 431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Academian status imputes,\nWhat a new member never refutes:\nThe welcome suspicion\nOf vast erudition\nAnd talent for lofty pursuits.", "id": 432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Arrak is a word that can shrink\nTo arak \u2014 the same meaning, I think.\nAt a banquet or feast\nThrough the whole Middle East,\nArrak is what Arabs will drink.", "id": 433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "I finished my sixth margarita;\nI thought I was drinking amrita.\nI was feeling immortal\nAs I walked through the portal,\nAnd started to speak with a cheetah.", "id": 434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Do you think Ailuropodas cute?\nBet you do if you're really astute.\nThese black and white \"bears,\"\nWhich China now shares,\nCause tourists to part with their loot.", "id": 435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "suelin", "limerick": "Vaccines put our stomachs in knots.\nOn occasion, we'll suddenly plotz.\nSo it never attracts us\nTo anaphylaxis:\nInduction by needles and shots.", "id": 436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "When aerodrome's said by a Brit,\nIt's the place where an airplane will sit,\nLike a field or a port,\nBut of much smaller sort\nThan the airports where jetliners fit.", "id": 437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abbreviatory's O.K.\n(In an A.S.A.P. sort of way),\nFor describing a word\nCut to half or a third\nOr a fourth, on a shed-letter day.", "id": 438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Zoology students articulate\nThat a porcupine's hide is aciculate.\nThey needle their friends\nTo dubious ends\nWhile with pointed aplomb they matriculate.", "id": 439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "With ageustia, palates are free\nOf those tastes so appealing to me.\nFresh vittles or canned,\nThey'd be equally bland.\nWhy you'd bother to eat, I can't see.", "id": 440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a crystalline base in a gland\nWith five nitrogen atoms at hand.\nThis adenine goo\nHas five hydrogens, too,\nAnd five carbons that finish its strand.", "id": 441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The man who becomes alcoholic\nIs not on a permanent frolic.\nSo understand please\nIt's a painful disease,\nPart genetic and part metabolic.", "id": 442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An abra, so it seems, is a crack\nIn a mesa, that goes front to back.\nFor a climber, such space\nCan appear any place\nSo be careful and don't lose your pack.", "id": 443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I complained to the doc with a pout\nThat my kids like to fight and to shout,\nBut the children's psychologist\nBecame their apologist.\n\"All youngsters,\" she told me, \"act out.\"", "id": 444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acarina are creatures that bite.\nThey include both the tick and the mite.\nTheir pincers, like pins,\nCan puncture our skins.\nI guess they just do it for spite.", "id": 445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "He looked at the table agast\nAs tonight he had hoped he could fast.\nRoasted beasties and taters,\nFancy wines, snotty waiters,\n'Twas hardly a modest repast.", "id": 447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "In composing a memorable song\nThe terminal note should be long.\nNow musical logic\nSays make it agogic.\nStaccato would surely be wrong.", "id": 448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Amoebas that live in Hamtramck\nHave sex lives completely agamic.\nThey start out as loners\nWho soon become cloners,\nBut I'd rather pair in a hammock.", "id": 449, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Defining his style quite loosely\nWith high-powered words used profusely,\nI quickly surmise\nWe should give him a prize\nFor confusing us all, most abstrusely.", "id": 450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "When you're pretty, you get to a point\nWhere your skin with perfume you anoint.\nThen dress up real fine\nSo they'll ply you with wine\nIn the neighborhood's classiest joint.", "id": 451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Now Johnny was known for his ardor,\nThough he wasn't a very quick starter,\nBut once on the track\nHe would never look back\nAnd always try harder and harder.", "id": 452, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "My intent was that he be amused.\nHis reaction instead was confused.\nHe then became rude\nAnd anger ensued,\nSo now I'm contused and abused.", "id": 453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "At first he surmised she was flighty,\nBeing seen about town in her nightie,\nBut as closer he looked\nIt was clear he'd been hooked\nBy the goddess of love: Aphrodite!", "id": 454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Letter aitch, in some tongues, you can tell,\nIs pronounced not at all, or not well.\nBy the Brits it is rated\nTheir second-most hated,\nRight after, of course, \"bloody ell.\"", "id": 455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "I resolved, when the year was still new,\nThat all alcohol I would eschew.\nBut perhaps, though, a brief\nLittle aperitif\nAt my desk?  I don't mind if I do.", "id": 456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Our conductor, who hailed from Honduras,\nHad to finally quit and abjure us\nFor the cause of his woes\nWas our arpeggios\nAnd we murdered appoggiaturas.", "id": 457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now this limerick's quite the anomaly;\nIt's without definition or homily,\nNeither crude nor obscene,\nIt is perfectly clean\nFor reciting in front of your fomily.", "id": 458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now the alewife's a kind of a fish,\nBut not fit for an elegant dish.\nIt resembles a shad,\nWhich is not all that bad,\nBut it stinks like a week-old knish.", "id": 459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "E.A. Poe got a friend of his blotto\nOn some bottles of amontillado\n(It's a kind of a sherry),\nThen went on to bury\nHis buddy alive in his grotto.", "id": 460, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "An extravagant clotheshorse named Carol\nWas so snooty about her apparel,\nAll her friends used to joke\nThat she couldn't go broke\nTill she found an Yves Saint Laurent barrel.", "id": 461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now an arbor, one n, is a lattice,\nGood for training a vine like clematis.\nBut Ann Arbor, two n's,\nIs in Michigan, friends;\nI'm assuming you all know where that is.", "id": 462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The apostrophe's oft misapplied\nBetween its and it's \u2014 how to decide?\nIf belonging to it,\nYou'll be smart to omit;\nIf it is or it has, let it ride.", "id": 463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "These are mighty tough times for the peerage,\nWith so many so deep in arrearage.\nMany barons and dukes\nHave discovered \u2014 gadzooks! \u2014\nThat they now have to travel in steerage.", "id": 464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Saying \"angiosperm,\" you have stated\nOf a plant, where its seeds are located.\nI should add, all the same,\nIt recalls the nickname\nOf a girl whom I formerly dated.", "id": 465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "It's in vain that the teenagers try\nAll their algebra skills to apply.\nThough they can, on occasions,\nSolve x in equations,\nThey still haven't figured out y.", "id": 466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "I've a bent (which some wish I would curb)\nFor the cynical, sour, acerb.\nWhat my nouns fail to slash,\nMy adjectives bash,\nAnd I always draw blood with a verb.", "id": 467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's a fluke when a fluke runs aground\nIn the sound of the surf in the Sound.\nIn an antanaclasis,\nA pun makes two passes\nAnd tickles you on the rebound.", "id": 468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Actualization of self\nAin't a theory just plucked off the shelf.\nTo accept one's real being\nIs actually freeing,\nAs Maslow described it himself.", "id": 469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The flammable gas called acetylene\nHas hydro- and carbon, not metal, in.\nThe flame's a delight,\nAs it burns very bright,\nBut the odour is rather unsettlin'.", "id": 470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your doctor decides, on reflection\nThat you're suffering from an infection,\nShe will choose, as a rule,\nAn ampoule (or ampule),\nCrack it open, and give an injection.", "id": 471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Oh, our sweet Cockney neighbor Miss Carter\nThought that sex for love made a good barter.\nOr that's what we inferred\nEvery night as we heard\nHer beseeching aloud, \"Ardor! Ardor!\"", "id": 472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "A murderous moron once said,\n\"Call me 'airhead' and soon you'll be dead.\"\nBut aero- means \"air,\"\nSo to sidestep his glare\nCall him \"aerocephalic\" instead.", "id": 473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Adjectival brands words that will do\nAs an adjective. Hey! It's one too!\nAn infrequently heard\nAutological word...\nBut surely that's something you knew.", "id": 474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A housekeeping tip that I've found\nIs to brace rows of spikes in the ground\nWith their points facing out\nAs a sturdy redoubt\nWhen the neighbours invite themselves 'round.", "id": 475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Once more I am forced to bemoan\nThe fact that when words are less known\nThey're less used, and that's sad\nFor we once could have had\nRod Serling's Acronychal Zone.", "id": 476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Androcles tale packs a punch\nIn its moral, but I've got a hunch\nThat the slave was a winner\nAnd not lion dinner\n'Cause the beast had had Roman for lunch.", "id": 477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A jury will often acquit\nUnless the State's able to knit\nA case so nonpareil\nThe Defense might as well\nJust plead guilty, confess, and admit.", "id": 478, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Abdullah ruled Jordan, a nation\nThat would lead an immense federation\nOf Arabs. This plan\nDied before it began\nWith the king's premature termination.", "id": 479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a gentleman asks for a dance,\nI ask for my dime in advance\n(That means paying before\nWe set foot on the floor.)\nI never leave money to chance.", "id": 480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Don't say that my speech is accented\n'Cause Brooklyn's my home. I resent it!\nDon't let your lip curl\nWhen I say \"goil\" for \"girl\"\nDa King's English ain't broke, I just bent it.", "id": 481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "His body was rather convex.\nHe had problems procuring good sex.\nHis consid'rable girth\nMade him subject to mirth \u2014\nHis friends called him \"Adipose Rex.\"", "id": 482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A-b-l., if it's in lowercase,\nCan refer to the ablative case.\n But the acronym, well,\n In all caps ABL\nCan have meanings all over the place.", "id": 483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Chris Strolin, our crack EiC,\nSays OEDILF should be rated PG.\nThose words so appalling,\nLike ***ewing and *alling,\nHave no place in our A to Z.", "id": 484, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The garrulous octogenarian,\nA cheerfully chatty contrarian,\nIn final footnotage\nTo his anecdotage\nRegaled all the guests at his buryin'.", "id": 485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Digesting a rump roast or two\nOr swallowing grilled bacon stew\nFor those who are acholous?\nTruly mirackelous!\nBile makes it easy to do.", "id": 486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A priest, reading mass, wasn't blind;\nEyed a lass with a luscious behind.\nJust under his alb, a cross\nHung like an albatross.\nWhite was his robe, not his mind.", "id": 487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Around me, a playing card swirled,\nA frolicksome grin then unfurled.\nIt's an Alice-in-Wonderland,\nLife-rent-asunder and\nTopsyish-turvyish world!", "id": 488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "This arf-arfing's been going all night!\nI'm too crabby and sleepy to fight.\nI'm so not enjoying\nThis dog that's annoying.\nHis bark is much worse than his bite!", "id": 490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The abdomen often protrudes\nFrom eating high-calorie foods.\nObesity's here;\nIt's everyone's fear.\nMore exercise, dieting, dudes!", "id": 491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Antibiotics will weaken\nOr kill the bacteria seekin'\nA host to infect,\nTo roast and deject.\nSo get to your doctor \u2014 stop freakin'!", "id": 492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My armpit is under my arm.\nIts odors could do noses harm.\nBe glad that each day\nI use roll-on or spray\nSo I don't smell as bad as a farm.", "id": 493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I felt all my willpower slide.\nI went to the doctor, who cried:\n\"Abulia, sir!\nAll my colleagues concur.\nOn the cause, though, we couldn't decide.\"", "id": 494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Loss advective of bodily heat\nHorizontally flows, 'neath the sheet\nOf your bed. Your dear spouse\nLowers heat in the house;\nIn return you relinquish warm feet.", "id": 495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The aegir's a bore that is tidal,\nA surge where the river was idle.\nIt's not at all odd\nThat it names the sea god\nSince its actions can be homicidal.", "id": 496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Although drought makes the sycamores cough,\nAt an arborist's counsel we scoff.\nBut he lays their roots bare\nTo water and air,\nAnd this ablaqueation pays off.", "id": 497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "At the end of the old aqueduct,\nA thirstyosaurus had sucked.\nBy the following dawn,\nAll the water was gone.\nThe whole lake in his tummy he'd tucked.", "id": 498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Hammerin' Hank of the Braves,\nHe really was one of my faves.\n Hank Aaron's his name,\nThe best in the game.\nHe drove other teams to their graves!", "id": 499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The arteries carry the blood;\nWithout them our bodies would flood.\nThey're elasticized \u2014 sorta;\nThe chief's the aorta.\nIf it ruptures, that's all for you, Bud!", "id": 500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "There's a difference 'tween \"though\" and \"although,\"\nAlthough it is subtle, I know.\nUse \"though\" when in doubt;\nThe linguists won't shout.\nTho spell it like this?  I say \"NO!\"", "id": 501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I wanted to buy for my sweet\nA full acre of farmland complete.\nIt's expensive, no wonder:\nIn size it's just under\nSome 44,000 square feet.", "id": 502, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Acrylic, or else thermoplastic,\nFor shop signs is rather fantastic.\nIt's stuff one could use\nIn paints and in glues,\nIn dentistry, fabrics, and mastic.", "id": 503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A person considered abderian\nCan be judged by this simple criterion:\nHis laughter is foolish\nAt things (even ghoulish)\nOr serious essays Shakespearean.", "id": 504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The toughest damn insect you'll see\nIs the Africanized honeybee.\nIn numbers excessive\nThey're fiercely aggressive.\nIf you see some, become absentee!", "id": 505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To keep your wife satisfied, Mister,\nInsist that no man could resist her.\nSay she's smart and good-looking,\nEach day praise her cooking,\nAnd don't have an affair with her sister!", "id": 506, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "An ill wind will always betray\nWhen Windy is walking our way.\nWe could perfume his jeans\nWhen he's been eating beans,\nBut it's best if we just stand abeigh.", "id": 507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"Alas!\" cried the rhyme cognoscente.\n\"Alack! Still a virgin at twenty.\"\nSo he wrote vulgar verse\nAnd made haste to rehearse\nWith a lass and alacrity plenty.", "id": 508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "An aoudad \u2014 yeah, that's wot I am,\nAnd I've been one since I wuz a lamb.\nI'm a big-horny dude;\nAll the ewes wot I've wooed\nCall me baa baa baa Barbary ram.", "id": 509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "When you're mooting on matters of crime\n(Unlike here, where we waffle in rhyme)\nIf you can't use aforesaid\nYou're forced to have more said\nIn framing full names every time.", "id": 510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Aerobatics for stunt pilot Eddie\nWere heart-stopping, harebrained, and heady.\nWith his very last breath\nHe said, \"I've cheated death\n'Cause I've grabbed it before it was ready.\"", "id": 511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My agama's growing a beard!\nThese lizards already look weird:\nWith long thorny tails\nAnd thick horny scales,\nThey make some Egyptians afeard.", "id": 512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An act is a formal decision\nNot often renowned for concision.\nIts wearisome reading\nIs fruitful for pleading\nDespite its pedantic precision.", "id": 513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the building ablaze in the night,\nThe equipment's just sitting there tight.\nFor an aerial ladder,\nThere's little that's sadder\nThan firefighters fearful of height.", "id": 514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An artichoke is a big thistle;\nIts thorns would no doubt make some bristle.\nWhen one bites off the leaves\n'Less they're trimmed, one receives\nA nasty scratch right in one's whistle.", "id": 515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Allium genus is handy;\nSome chefs might prefer it to candy.\nThere's leeks and there's chive,\nThere's garlic,  and I've\nGot a yen for some onions in brandy.", "id": 516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Aaron was the brother of Moses.\nIn Old Testament verse he reposes.\nA priest of some might\nFor the Israelites,\nAnd that's about all that I knowses.", "id": 517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Fancy instruments aid in detection\nOf air as it moves in advection.\nAnemometers know\nJust how fast it'll blow.\n(Moistened fingers can help with direction.)", "id": 518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When your penny takes on a green hue,\nIt's not because Abe's sick of you.\nIts copper has rusted;\nYour coin is encrusted\nWith aeruginous-pigmented goo.", "id": 519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The chef's open house was a way\nTo put his cuisine on display.\nThe price of admittance\nWas barely a pittance,\nJust enough to keep deadbeats away.", "id": 520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Absorbed, absent-minded, abstracted \u2014\nThree ways in which folks are distracted.\nThe first means \"fixated.\"\nThe next \"addlepated.\"\nThe last, you're \"in deep thought protracted.\"", "id": 521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The board of a large university\nDecided they needed diversity.\nThey recruited the best\nOf the wealthy and blessed\nAnd others who'd seen great adversity.", "id": 522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"Lovely cleavage aligned with the base.\"\nSuch a phrase got me slapped in the face.\n\"The acrotomous cut\nOf the rock!\" I said, but\nShe had already pulled out her Mace!", "id": 523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a transcript repeats every word\nThat is spoken and perfectly heard,\nSo that each little datum\nIs written verbatim,\nAd verbum recording's occurred.", "id": 524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I confess I'm a cinch to amuse.\nI laugh and I clap.  I enthuse!\nBut use moderation\nTo avoid agitation.\nI'm not very hard to confuse.", "id": 525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "My inner child dried up and died,\nAnd my feminine side tried to hide\nWhen I wrote, dry and boring,\nMy tome on exploring\nThat old armadillo inside.", "id": 526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "An act can be something you do,\nA charade or behaviour untrue,\nOr a part of a play,\nOpera, circus, ballet,\nOr variety show or revue.", "id": 527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Our beautiful anthem arose\nFrom our nation's great culture. It goes:\n\"We shall cherish our peace\nAnd our joy will increase\nAs we dance in the blood of our foes.\"", "id": 528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Apophasis: I'll never say\nThat it means giving secrets away\nWhen, by slip or pretension,\nYou casually mention\nThe things that you shouldn't betray.", "id": 529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "In philosopher's parlance, abstraction\nElicits the thought from the action.\nWith eggheads I've seen\nIt also can mean\nA mental state marked by inaction.", "id": 530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I sense the endearment you meant\nBut appallment gives rise to this vent.\nDearest Kay, let me say,\nThere's no way that I'd pay\nA red cent for the scent that you sent.", "id": 531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "From complexions not clearly erotic\nTo extremes that are near arthropodic,\nYou crust and you flake\nYou endure the heartbreak\nOf psoriasis: skin acanthotic.", "id": 532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "It's entirely aleatory,\nWinning big when you don't know the story.\nIt's the luck of beginners\nThat always makes winners;\nQuite easy to see, a priori.", "id": 533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "One with amathophobia flees\nFrom the dust that might cause one to sneeze.\nNow this would appear\nAn irrational fear,\nBut an allergy is a disease.", "id": 534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While wooing my girlfriend Lavinia\nIn a country southeast of Sardinia,\nI said, \"You'll allow\nIt's 'Ethiopia' now.\"\nThen I added \"So long, Abyssinia!\"", "id": 535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Her hair was like coal that's bituminous.\nHer eyes were exquisitely luminous.\nHer complexion so light\nIt stood out in the night,\nLike a boiled egg white: it's albuminous.", "id": 536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When something's described as adnascent,\nIt's growing upon or adjacent\nTo something nearby\nThat has turned a blind eye.\nI myself wouldn't be that complacent.", "id": 537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Use egg white, albumen, in batter.\nNo yolk, it's a serious matter.\nThough angel food mix\nIs a devil to fix,\nA pound cake will soon make you fatter.", "id": 538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For words that embody monotony\nNo field's as prosaic as botany.\nAn acarpellous plant\nMay entice or enchant,\nBut carpels? Its flowers ain't got any.", "id": 539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "All the reds and the greens I reverse;\nDue to gender my problem is worse.\nWhen I'm at the paint shop,\nDon't know blue from ker-plop;\nIt is acritochromacy's curse.", "id": 540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now, an airbrush was like a paint shooter\nThat would make a nude model look neuter.\nIt seems quaint to recall,\nWhen considering all\nThat's explicit these days on computer.", "id": 541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "My profs used to claim, \"It ain't in\nDictionaries,\" and they'd always win.\nBut ain't is there now.\nWebster'd so have a cow\nAt the words we can now find therein!", "id": 542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "On Fridays the planes would come down\nTo an airpark just outside our town.\nBusiness men would return\nFrom their weekly sojourn.\nThe small airport's our claim to renown.", "id": 543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Though the agency's funding is high,\nOpposition refuses to die.\nWhen our tax money goes\nFor a Major's wife's nose,\nMany others are hung out to dry.", "id": 544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "An amtrac takes soldiers around.\nOn land and on sea they astound!\nAn amphibious charge,\nDropped off from a barge,\nFrom the water then onto the ground.", "id": 545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Let's discuss the urethra and anus\nWith a sense of mature everydayness.\nFor we all drink and eat\nAnd thereafter excrete,\nAnd it's these humble outlets that drain us.", "id": 546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "At the end of the world, as we know,\nArmageddon will come, the last blow.\nNo one will survive,\nNo creature alive,\n'Cept the roaches in nuclear snow.", "id": 547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Some advice for you wannabe actors:\nJust forget insecurity factors;\nWhen you're up on the stage\nAnd become all the rage,\nYou will still have a lot of detractors.", "id": 548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Virge", "limerick": "A never-wed wannabe dad\nAdopted a likeable lad.\nHis adoptee now jokes,\n\"He bent backwards to coax\nMe to live in his bachelor pad.\"", "id": 549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My pool-cleaner's manic-depressive.\nHe swoons, then becomes all aggressive.\nWhen he's done being idle,\nHe gets algicidal:\nHis pool-cleaning, then, is impressive!", "id": 550, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some actions are quite aggravating:\nLike cutting in line without waiting,\nAnd toddler berating,\nAnd ego inflating,\nAnd other-than-self deprecating.", "id": 551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A long time back Anne of Cleves wedded\nKing Henry VIII but she dreaded\nHis uncontrolled force.\nShe was granted divorce.\n(Two other wives wound up beheaded.)", "id": 552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aeolistic's when somebody's talking\nAnd talking and talking and talking\nAnd talking and talking\nAnd talking and talking\nAnd talking and talking and talking!", "id": 553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adlittoral means nothing more\nThan the water that's nearest the shore.\nWhen kids are there playing,\nTo parents I'm saying\nTheir safety you cannot ignore!", "id": 554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All the women in town he romanced\nWith the masterful way that he danced.\n\"The dance floor,\" he said,\n\"Is the first step to bed!\"\nIn both places, his skills were advanced.", "id": 555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The word in the doctor's report,\nAcrochordon, just caused me to snort.\nTerms needlessly vague\nShould be dodged like the plague.\nIt's a skin tag, not even a wart.", "id": 556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aroint thee, O witch!  That's begone!\nGet your trick-or-treat off of my lawn!\nYou're nothing but trouble\nWith cauldrons a-bubble,\nFoul bat-fowling wee Devil's pawn!", "id": 557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Astronomers are by vocation\t\nThe mavens of classification.\nWhen an aerolite lands,\nLack of iron demands\nThat it came from beyond the space station.", "id": 558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's a soliton wave, nothing more,\nBut on meeting a true tidal bore,\nIf the god of the sea\nTurns your boat to debris,\nYou'll be drowned in the aegir's loud roar.", "id": 559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Nan", "limerick": "It doesn't take much erudition\nTo know that entree, in addition\nTo Yes, I confess,\nIs a way to express\nA meaning implied by admission.", "id": 560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "suelin", "limerick": "A parent can find an incentive\nThat's clever or merely inventive\nTo tidy a room\nWith a mop and a broom.\nThe result? A true anal retentive!", "id": 561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The latest fad sweeping the nation?\nSelf-denial of sex: abnegation.\nRight wingers attest\nThey like abstinence best.\nWhat's next? Universal castration?!", "id": 562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To adjudicate, clearly, in short\nMeans to settle one's problems in court.\nIt once was a way\nTo put truth on display.\nToday it's our favorite sport!", "id": 563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's just no other greater depressant\nThan a mouthful of something putrescent.\nYou think it's OK\nBut you swig it and say,\n\"Holy Moley, this milk is acescent!\"", "id": 564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I had thought that I wanted to wed her.\nAlas!  Now I won't even bed her.\nShe said, \"Would you please\nBuy American cheese?\nI like it much better than cheddar.\"", "id": 565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Said a hip college junior named Stan,\n\"I dig archaeology, man!\nI rock in geology,\nMars (areology),\nAnd I've studied abroad\u2014in my van.\"", "id": 567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "It seems, alas, strangely endemic\nThat matters adverse or polemic\nOft render your claim\nTo teach what you aim\nA freedom that's just academic.", "id": 568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Alcaeus, Greek writer of yore,\nWrote poetry once, but no more.\nHis meter obtuse\nGives me ample excuse\nTo find verse that's alcaic a bore.", "id": 569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If I say that a steak is aflame,\nI am making a serious claim.\nI assert it's incinerating,\nAnd losing its dinner-rating.\nAfire means exactly the same.", "id": 570, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Should stimulus give him a play,\nThe abient bloke will not stay.\nHe's likely to split\nOr, quite frankly, to quit.\nIt's his nature to simply am-scray.", "id": 571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Many quiet things aren't heard much,\nAnd Belgian things aren't called Dutch.\nMost lunches aren't free,\nJust like giants aren't wee,\nAnd museum things aren't to touch.", "id": 572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Abuseful means full of abuse,\nAnd abusing? Like kicking a goose.\n But the typical usage\n Of words like abusage\nMeans terrible language misuse.", "id": 573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Abstractionist art enigmatic\nElicits a good deal of static\nFrom critics who drawl\nThat it ain't art at all\nAnd rightly belongs in the attic.", "id": 574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "My shrink recommends I watch farces\nTo help me achieve a catharsis.\nIt's widely believed\nThat tension's relieved\nWatching people who fall on their arses.", "id": 575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Connecticut-born limerick writer,\nHe's more of a lover than fighter.\nRelates to agnostics,\nIn love with acrostics,\nSeeks Pam but prefers someone brighter.", "id": 576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In New York, freshman Senator Hillary\nIs not a big fan of artillery.\n\"Our foes we should fight\nWith diplomacy.\"  (Right!\nAnd the Army is just an ancillary!)", "id": 577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Afghanistan's totally sodden\nWith the blood of the poor and downtrodden.\nTo survive there is hard\nIn the spacious back yard\nOf that bastard Osama Bin Laden.", "id": 578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A dinosaur sick of old tricks\nDecided one day to affix\nSome feathers and things\nTo his forelegs (now wings)\nTo meet archaeopteryx chicks.", "id": 579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aqua, a light greenish blue,\nAnd aquamarine, the same hue,\nBoth stem, as they oughta,\nFrom aqua, for water;\nThe stuff that the pisces swim through.", "id": 580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An angry old drunk was so pissed\nThat he swung at a punk, though he missed.\nAs he fell to the gutter,\nHe yelled like a nutter,\n\"Yer friend there is next on my list!\"", "id": 581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Tuning into your local kids' station,\nYou're likely to see animation:\nFrom stop-motion clay\nTo Japan's anime,\nThere's many a moving creation.", "id": 582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"It's more than sufficient, my dear,\"\nSaid my aunt, \"and it's ample, I hear.\nDefining abundant\nIs never redundant;\nI've made that abundantly clear.\"", "id": 583, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Descartes was consuming roast yam,\nBut pronounced that he'd rather have lamb.\nWhen he tried spinach drink,\nRen\u00e9 ventured, \"I think\nThat I am what I am what I am.\"", "id": 584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Tell ya something that isn't so fun:\nWriting poems in anapest, son.\nI don't like 'em at all,\nAnd they make my skin crawl,\nSo I try not to write even one.", "id": 585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A man who lives under the sea\nIs just as content as can be.\nThough lacking a dog,\nThere's a rough analogue:\nHis anemone, Fibber McGee.", "id": 586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm tied to my Mom's apron strings.\nI can't even play on the swings.\nI can't cross the street,\nAnd I must eat whole wheat.\nMan oh man, how I wish I had wings!", "id": 587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "They feed us the words; we explain 'em.\nBut how to grasp just one arcanum?\nLet rare knowledge climb\nOne piece at a time.\nAt this rate, we hope to retain 'em.", "id": 588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A judge who's dishonest and venal\nMay find himself doing time penal,\nA fact unrelated\nTo glands situated\nNear the kidneys and known as adrenal.", "id": 589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My dentist said, \"There's no confusion.\nI've come to a single conclusion.\nYour teeth don't fit right,\nSome don't touch when you bite,\nA condition that's called abocclusion.\"", "id": 590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My lover conveyed this assignment:\nTo spring her ol' man from confinement.\nWhen I crashed through a wall,\nPop said, \"Thanks,\" I recall,\nBut my front end's now out of alignment.", "id": 591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The chant from psychology schools?\n\"Abnormal psychology rules!\"\nPredict the expansion\nOf folks like Charles Manson\nAnd every psychologist drools!", "id": 592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though he may seem insufferably snooty,\nAn aesthete believes it's his duty\n(More so, it's his fate)\nTo each day cultivate\nA heightened awareness of beauty.", "id": 593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When questioned and under duress\nAnd you don't want to say the word \"yes,\"\nHear the facts of the case,\nThen put on a straight face\nAnd simply say, \"I acquiesce.\"", "id": 594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Achilles was short-changed, I feel.\nHis Iliad life was surreal.\nYet today this man's fame\nIs exceedingly lame,\nReduced to a tendon and heel.", "id": 608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I was thinking we'd jump into bed;\nShe had \"pictured my body,\" she'd said.\nAn ambiguous word,\nIt seems body referred\nTo the fact that she wished I was dead.", "id": 609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "On a flight from Brazil to Peru,\nNo landing strip came into view.\nMy Cessna was sputtering.\nOaths I was uttering.\nThank God! There's an airfield! Whew!", "id": 610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A virtuous dame on a tour\nPrattled on about helping the poor.\nShe admitted to qualms,\nWhen dispensing her alms,\nBecause some of the homeless weren't pure!", "id": 611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A life in the country's for me.\nThe beauty of blossom and bee!\nThe arcadian life\nWith small pleasures is rife....\nLook there! It's a bulldozer, see?", "id": 612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "On a late moonlight stroll in her nightie,\nNell gazed at the conifers mighty.\nShe was so much in awe\nOf the tall trees she saw,\nThat she tripped on a short arborvitae.", "id": 613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Tragic Ajax, the Greek, has the willies\nEven though he avenged brave Achilles.\nThe dead heel-man's armour\nGets claimed by that charmer\nUlysses, so Ajax self-killies.", "id": 614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Two papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9-made giraffes,\nFour bird-feeder-topped shepherd's staffs,\nAnd a pink crocheted throw\nCan be found at this show\nOf eclectic and strange arts and crafts.", "id": 616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Antigovernment Anne, a librarian,\nLikes neither George Bush nor John Kerry, an'\nShe wants you to note\nThat she's casting her vote\nFor a long shot who's more libertarian.", "id": 617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A botanist from the Mojave\nGrew yucca and scads of agave.\nHis need was quite urgent\nFor white-wine detergent\nProduced from amole and Soave.", "id": 618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My Aunt Hedwig detested her name,\nAnd her nephews detected her shame.\nSo they called her Aunt Ted\nOr used pronouns instead.\nThey were playing the anaphor game.", "id": 619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Our leader's depressing oration\nSeemed proof of cerebral ablation.\nThe cells that were grey\nHave eroded away,\nMuch to the dismay of our nation.", "id": 620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Absently walking, I stumbled,\nThen into the sidewalk I mumbled,\n\"It's a terrible shame\nThat my lame claim to fame\nIs the number of times that I've tumbled.\"", "id": 621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Because of his flagrant flamboyance\nAnd claims of all-seeing clairvoyance,\nWhen the psychic gave readings\nAt solemn proceedings,\nMost people just watched with annoyance.", "id": 622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When lines intersect they produce\nMany angles. From these we deduce\nEach one's size, if we're able,\nThen give them the label\nOf right or acute or obtuse.", "id": 623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adenosis enlarges a gland.\nIt's marked (just so you understand)\nBy abnormal formation\nOr calcification,\nAnd it's worse when it gets out of hand.", "id": 624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A building made out of pressed tin\nHas caused me a bit of chagrin.\nArchitectural skill\nCan provide a cheap thrill.\nBut I still can't find where I go in!", "id": 625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A teen who ate only crustaceans\nExplained to his weary relations,\n\"This will stop (never fear)\nBy the end of the year,\nWhen I trot out some new affectations.\"", "id": 626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Look at b, d, f, h, k, l, t\u2014\nSeven lowercase letters, you see.\nEach one's an ascender;\nThey seem taller, more slender\nThan c, m, n, o, r, or v.", "id": 627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "I'm quite fond of a plant-killing spree.\nThough a pro, I would murder for free.\nWhen I find a fish tank\nWhich with algae is rank,\nAdding algicide gives me much glee.", "id": 628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Affectionately he would kiss\nHer soft cheek with such sweet, loving bliss.\nShe wanted it rougher\u2014\nFor him to handcuff  'er.\n\"Can't do that,\" mused he. \"Let's try this. . . .\"", "id": 629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and speedysnail", "limerick": "I've always been thought altruistic,\nIntelligent, kind, and artistic.\nI'm a lover of man.\nI help where I can.\nDo you think a Nobel's optimistic?", "id": 630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When I acerbate people, I vex\nThem a lot\u2014I'm a pain in their necks.\nWhat guys need to learn\nIs where gals are concerned,\nIt is not a preamble to sex.", "id": 631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abranchiate means \"without gills,\"\nAs in monkeys, raccoons, whippoorwills,\nOr bison, an ox,\nA Canadian fox,\nOr those starlets from Beverly Hills.", "id": 632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Afebrile means \"having no fever,\"\nIn a human or golden retriever.\nIf a nurse comes to say\nThat your temp is OK\nAnd you're fine, hell, you oughta believe her!", "id": 633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aspheric means \"almost a sphere,\"\nLike the Earth, which is pear-shaped, I hear.\nI mean only slightly\nAnd not too unsightly.\nThe bulge isn't all that severe.", "id": 634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The alopex lives near the pole,\nWhere he feeds on the marmot and vole,\nAnd wears socks on his feet\nIn his wintry retreat:\nA cosy Alaskan fox-hole.", "id": 635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "On the Spanish guitar my technique\nOf unamplified strums is unique.\nI acoustically play\nIn my singular way,\nCausing strings to detune and to squique.", "id": 636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "There's a story about a young boy.\nThe girls he would always annoy.\nHe'd tease them all day,\nWhen they came out to play.\nNow his only companion's a koi.", "id": 637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "This arduous task isn't quick,\nTo make my old limericks slick.\nWhile it seems that in time\nI achieve the right rhyme,\nI know fixing the meter's the trick.", "id": 638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "He's a purist, least that's what he said,\nThen he sold out for airplay instead.\nNow his music's all pop;\nIt's on stations non-stop.\nWon't you please rip his songs from my head!", "id": 639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Our home was our biggest acquest.\nThe same can't be said of our guest.\nWhile we saved all that money,\nHe wed a rich honey\nWho'd inherited all they possessed.", "id": 640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As I write yet another new verse,\nI hope that it's better, not worse,\nThan the others before \u2014\nSome I really abhor.\nIf it's utterly bad, I will curse.", "id": 641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Antique may mean \"old,\" it is true,\nConnoting a value that grew.\nThough a compliment when\nIt's applied to a gem,\nIt's an insult for me or for you.", "id": 642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To those who reside in Armenia\nAnd likewise, our friends in Slovenia\nYou're just a stone's throw\nFrom each other, you know;\nThere are only five countries between ya.", "id": 643, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "When successful, it's tempting to dramatize\nAny words that you might anagrammatize.\nShift the letters around\nTill a new word is found;\nSo diagram ends becomes Grandma dies.", "id": 644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My study of Asian aikido\nHas greatly increased my libido.\nGirls admire my skill,\nBut they think I can kill.\nI'd better move on to bushido.", "id": 645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "There he goes in his brand new Toyota\nTo the townships of South Minnesota.\nHe's allotted, this day,\nSome birds made from clay,\nAnd of these he will shoot his full quota.", "id": 646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "To abscind is to cut or to sever\nWith a knife or a scissor-like lever\nOr an axe or machete\nThat's kept at the ready\nIn pursuing divisive endeavor.", "id": 647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Said the flapper addressing her gecko,\n\"Don't bore me with guys like El Greco.\nNo classical pieces.\nNo portraits of Jesus.\nJust bold geometric art deco!\"", "id": 648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Virge", "limerick": "When longing for treats hot and steamy,\nA Wild Westerner's thoughts could turn seamy.\n\"Is that, Davy Crockett,\nAn aardvark in your pocket,\nOr are you just happy to see me?\"", "id": 649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our toilet's as foul as can be,\nAnd my wife knows the problem is me.\nPretty pissed, she demands,\n\"Stop the 'look-ma-no-hands'!\nGet ahold of yourself when you pee.\"", "id": 650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Some acrostical limericks are smart;\nThe first of each line plays a part.\nAs each one's initial\nReads down, it's official:\nThe last word you'll find at the ...", "id": 651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Acts are papers that serve legal ends;\nA New Testament book; or pretends;\nThings done every day;\nDifferent bits of a play;\nA dyslexic aelurophile's friends.", "id": 652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "A horrible fat apparition\nOffended my cultured cognition.\nWas it something to fear or\nMy shape in the mirror?\nI must needs improve my condition.", "id": 653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The conductor, the grand comandante\nOf the orchestra, signalled \"andante,\"\nBut a pair of bassoons\nPlayed some double-time tunes,\nAnd their maestro?  His mood turned picante.", "id": 654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Dr. Goldstein, you're making aliyah?\nMy Sadie will be glad to see ya'.\nShe went last July\nWith some shtunk of a guy;\nNow she's all on her own in Judea.", "id": 655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "To aphasics, line four and line three\nOf this limerick might as well be,\n\"Bing snurdle gor nay\nAgla purdle forsay,\"\nAs opposed to the wordplay you see.", "id": 656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Make no bones, you'll not get an apology;\nI always will love archaeology.\nEach fossil I sift,\nEvery one's a free gift.\n(But I am sorry 'bout that tautology!)", "id": 657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "In politics Clyde was receptive\nTo candidates frank or deceptive;\nBut after he'd seen\nWhere his tax money'd been,\nHe proved to be much less acceptive.", "id": 658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The problem of procrastination\nIs one that defies explanation.\nWith eyes on my goal,\nI'm ready to roll,\nYet somehow resist actuation.", "id": 659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Don't eat amanitas \u2014 you'll quiver.\nYou'll fall to your knees, and you'll shiver.\nPoison mushrooms, that's why,\nAnd you'll probably die.\nIf you don't, then you'll need a new liver.", "id": 660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "In Sussex, on England's south coast,\nThere's a place where posh residents boast.\nAsked, \"Is this Brighton, factually?\"\nThey say, \"No, Hove Actually!\"\n(A frightfully snobby riposte!)", "id": 662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "The agoraphobic is scared\nOf social events open-aired,\nAnd would much rather stay\nStuck indoors every day,\nEmbarrassment thus to be spared.", "id": 663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "In my will you were left the Van Gogh.\nNow I'm dead and you're eager, I know,\nTo get your hands on it,\nTo sell it or pawn it.\nSurprise! 'Twas adeemed long ago.", "id": 664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a body afloat near the rudder,\nSo I pull it aboard and then shudder.\nI become apoplectic:\nThe stiff's anorectic.\nIt ain't heavy but, hell, it's my brudder.", "id": 665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The adornments we make of our skin,\nLike a navel that's pierced by a pin\nOr a biker's tattoo,\nMay embellish, it's true,\nBut they leave us as ugly as sin.", "id": 666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was down to my very last pul\nWhen a comic approached in Kabul.\nNow I earn an afghani\nTo sit on my fanny.\nHe's the joker, I'm somebody's fool.", "id": 667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If you've bought a new sail for your yacht,\nAnd it's acrylonitrile you've got,\nHave it polymerized;\nIt will surely be prized,\n'Cause acrylic (the fiber) won't rot.", "id": 668, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "With my six-fingered man paranoia,\nMy repetitive call may annoy ya.\nIt may bother my foe\nWhen I yell out, \"HELLO!\nMy name is Inigo Montoya!\"", "id": 669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Alvin Toffler, who wrote Future Shock,\nCalled decisions arrived at ad hoc\n(An arrangement that he\nChristened adhocracy)\nMore efficient than punching the clock.", "id": 670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Submerged in the lake was my Honda,\nThen crushed by a large anaconda.\nHe swallowed my car\nAnd grew larger by far.\nHe combatted his fat with Jane Fonda.", "id": 671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Auntie Marge, when her temper is flickering,\nHas a penchant for boisterous bickering.\nIn a loud argy-bargy\nWith dear old Aunt Margie,\nWatch out if she catches you snickering!", "id": 672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A penguin in southernmost seas\nWhere thinner-skinned seabirds would freeze\nIs called an Adelie.\nIt plays ukulele\nAnd swallows the fishies with ease.", "id": 673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A tongue heard in Switzerland's shops,\nGermanic, with guttural stops:\nAlemannic, its name;\nAnd das Volk use the same\nIn Liechtenstein, ordering schnapps.", "id": 674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Mary, it caused a sensation.\nBut apogamous ferns? No ovation.\nFrom ovum to spore,\nAll the ferns we adore\nCan mature without fertilization.", "id": 675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A hunter who shall remain nameless\nDidn't plan far ahead; he was aimless.\nWhen his aimlessness spread\nTo his shooting, instead\nOf bagging a stag, he was gameless.", "id": 676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Ivy League gymnast who fell\nBadly ruptured her right ACL.\nOur arthroscopy team,\nWith procedures extreme,\nGot her back on the beam at Cornell.", "id": 677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A rupee was worth sixteen annas,\nWeighing less than a couple sultanas.\n'Twas a pittance in pence,\nMaybe two or three cents,\nBut enough to buy thirty bananas.", "id": 678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Besiegers extracting surrenders\nFrom fortified fortress defenders\nWould aim at the sky\nWith their arbalests nigh:\nSteel bows with mechanical benders.", "id": 679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Who to vote for? I couldn't decide,\nSince both of the candidates lied.\nI sobbed and I wept,\nAnd then finally I slept\nOn the fence, with my legs still astride.", "id": 680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "She's the goodiest two-shoes extant.\nHave a drink or a smoke? No, she shan't.\nShe strings me along\nWith her adamant song,\nAnd all 'cause my haircut's aslant.", "id": 681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The nurse watched the clock every morn,\nAs she helped the infirm and forlorn.\nWhen the seconds replayed,\nShe would carry them aid.\nEvery minute some succor was borne.", "id": 682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Applying for college is tough:\nSATs and APs and that stuff,\nAnd deadlines galore\n'Fore you get through the door.\nAnd grades must stay high, so don't slough.", "id": 683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now regarding the apricot, troops,\nIt belongs to the family of drupes.\nSo like plum, peach, and cherry,\nA binge would have very\nUnwelcome effects on your poops.", "id": 684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The male grads are alumni, you see,\nWhile the females are called alumnae.\nBut don't just say \"alum\"\n'Less you want to look dumb;\nAlum's Al2(SO4)3.", "id": 685, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The abacus is a device\nThat does math in ways strictly precise.\nIts works are holistic,\nWith a form as simplistic\nAs a toy that is pure Fisher-Price.", "id": 686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The ammonites swam in the sea\nAround four hundred million B.C.\n'Til their elegant shells\nSettled under the swells;\nNow they're fossilized mollusc debris.", "id": 687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's hardly a musical crime\nIf the tunes that you play aren't sublime,\nBut I'm really pissed when\nYour accompanist then\nHas a terrible time keeping time.", "id": 688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "I chase Britney to every soir\u00e9e;\nAll the orders she gives, I obey.\nBut I'm not just her roadie,\nI am also her toady:\nI'm her lickspittle, tool, \u00e2me damn\u00e9e.", "id": 689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "If drawing's your love and you're great\nAt painting, then maybe your fate\nIs to be quite artistic.\nLet's be optimistic:\nYou're admired if you can create!", "id": 690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "An apron protects the cook's clothes,\nAll the way from his neck to his toes.\nHe is clean if he slurps\nOr he slobbers or burps,\nSo he won't have to get out the hose!", "id": 691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "An abstractionist, my Uncle Fred\nPaints whatever pops into his head.\nThough he claims that his norm\nIs to focus on form\nYou would think he ignored it instead.", "id": 692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My hopes all at once turned to bleakness\nAs my horse fell behind in the Preakness.\nSee, he runs like a dud\nWhen the track is all mud\u2014\nHis Achilles' heel (synonym: weakness).", "id": 693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Nanoscientists, being astute,\nWith precision observe (they're acute).\nTheir favorite topic?\nAll things microscopic.\nThey analyze objects minute.", "id": 694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Abstractness is seen throughout art\u2014\nIt's a style Pollock had in his heart.\nTwo drips and a splatter\nAre all that might matter\nIn telling, from trash, it apart.", "id": 695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When I brought my LP to the station,\nThey said, \"It could use alteration.\"\nThey loved every song,\nBut the sleeve was too long.\n(To be tailors was their aspiration.)", "id": 696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "To acosmists the world's an illusion,\nThe universe just a delusion.\n\"It's Maya,\" they say,\n\"So don't go astray,\nFor God is the all,\" in conclusion.", "id": 697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "A thief lives amongst us, you know.\nShe's with us wherever we go.\nOur dearest sweet girl's\nMore precious than pearls.\nShe stole both our hearts long ago.", "id": 698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The word amateur, if you will,\nIn theory says nothing 'bout skill.\nIt just means no one pays.\nBut for clumsy displays,\nAmateurishly does fit the bill.", "id": 699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A teacher whose first love was fiction,\nDeploring our imprecise diction,\nSaid, \"Don't write 'all that'\nAt the drop of a hat.\nShow everything; give me depiction.\"", "id": 700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The playwright collapsed on the floor\nWhen told that her show was a bore.\nShe called her clich\u00e9s\n\"Archetypal displays,\"\nBut the critics had seen it before.", "id": 701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Allowable means it's okay\nTo do the thing tagged in this way.\nYou have our permission.\nSo, at your volition,\nGet on with it. Have a nice day.", "id": 702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "As drank is the past tense of drink,\nAnalogously, you would think\nThat you'd have to say \"thank\"\nAnd not \"thought.\" To be frank,\nIrregular verbs really stink.", "id": 703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "It's a form of elliptical speaking\nTo end with \"and all.\" If you're seeking\nThe same sort of tone\nFor which Caulfield is known,\nUse this phrase. (Be prepared for critiquing.)", "id": 704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "\"Hello! How about if we dance some?\"\nI said as I climbed through the transom.\nI'm more than just cute.\nYou see, I'm a beaut.\nGood-looking and then some \u2014 I'm handsome!", "id": 705, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The order of Primates is known\nFor aping whatever they're shown.\nFrom toenail to nape,\nWe're practically ape,\nAnd purchase the toys our friends own.", "id": 706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "I'm an all-topic, know-it-all coach.\nSo no matter what subject you broach,\nI'll advise you until\nYou have gotten your fill\nOf my straight \"all-or-nothing\" approach.", "id": 707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The best way to allocate space?\nWell, take a deep breath and erase\nThe mountains of stuff\nThat you've seen enough.\nThen put something else in their place.", "id": 708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "\"I love you,\" she said. Her caress\nRemoved all ambiguousness.\nThose words might have meant\nQuite a range of intent.\n(Their use can require finesse.)", "id": 709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "To know if it's archly she speaks,\nLook straight at her brow (not her cheeks).\nIf an eyebrow is raised,\nThen please don't be fazed \u2014\nShe's been this ironic for weeks.", "id": 710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "We have the Egyptians to thank\nFor the symbol we know as the ankh.\nA loop on a cross\nMightn't be a great loss,\nBut it looked good on pharaohs of rank.", "id": 711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A gallery patron's distractedness\nCan tell us about her impactedness:\nHow the art makes her feel,\nAnd whether it's real,\nOr whether there's too much abstractedness.", "id": 712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "A conditional rolls off our glottises\nIn two parts.  If this is the protasis\n(First part\u2014antecedent,\nYou might say, but needn't),\nThen the consequent's this: the apodosis.", "id": 713, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When solicited by philanthropics\nFor medical causes, the topics\nMost often are tumors,\nAlthough I've heard rumors\nOf a group that will screen amblyopics.", "id": 714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "There once was a man from Touraine\nWho arranged (x, y) pairs on the plane.\nHis plots were so clever,\nAnalytic would ever\nGeometry's forename remain.", "id": 715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Whenever an object you see\nWhose structure resembles a tree,\nBehold \u2014 arborescence!\n(It's one of the lessons\nYou learn when you hang around me.)", "id": 716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Allegedly from the UK,\nThe accent gives him a cachet\nTo friends in the States.\nI hope this abates \u2014\nHe's really from Scranton, PA.", "id": 717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Though they call it an animal cracker,\nI've heard from my favorite snacker\nIt's really a cookie.\nSo if you're a rookie,\nGet hip to its sugary lacquer.", "id": 718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Your statement, thus far, brings no bliss.\nYou must, lest you would be remiss,\nRevise it and/or\nAppend something more.\nAmendment comprises all this.", "id": 719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Hawaii's got coast more than highlands\n(Though its waterfront's smaller than Thailand's).\nThe root of this magic\nIs archipelagic \u2014\nThe boon of a series of islands.", "id": 720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Like the sets by which math folks keep score,\nIn the prose world, we have our and/or.\nIt means both or else either,\nExclusive of \"neither.\"\nIt's logically sound, to be sure.", "id": 721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A radio broadcast announcer\nWas known as a big mispronouncer.\nWhen he interviewed Cher,\nHe addressed her as \"Chair,\"\nCausing some of her fans to renounce her.", "id": 722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An amusement park would be a place\nIn which Ferris wheels spin, and we race\nAround circular tracks,\nAnd consume lots of snacks.\nStay at home if you don't like this pace.", "id": 723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "With delusions phencyclidine hit me.\nCoulda sworn they were all out to git me.\nBut I've learned to adjust\nWhen I use angel dust\u2014\nHoly Smokes! That big unicorn bit me!", "id": 724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My aunt Anna, the anapest jester,\nAuthored metrical rhyme.  None could best her.\nEre one syllable hard,\nCame two soft from the bard:\n\"Pleased to meet you. My name's Anna Pester.\"", "id": 725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "There are so many writers today\nMaking money from age-old clich\u00e9\nBut in my antinovel\nThe hero will grovel,\nRejecting the old-fashioned way.", "id": 726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Your albumin is what you secrete\nSo your blood remains fluid-replete.\nIf your count gets too low,\nTo the doctor you'll go,\nOr you'll wind up with big swollen feet.", "id": 728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "By authority it has been backed\nAnd been given approval to act.\nThis accredited college\nCan teach me its knowledge,\nBut still I will question each fact.", "id": 729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "How'd the Alamo come to be known?\n'Twas a mission in ol' San Antone.\nOn a line in the sand,\nVolunteers took a stand,\nWhen their orders said \"Leave it alone.\"", "id": 730, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Fuzzy sweaters look nice in your drawer.\nAnd I guess that's what goat hair is for.\nBut we all can attest\nThat angora looks best\nWhen it comes off and falls on the floor.", "id": 731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "So I wake up in Southern Rhodesia,\nFeeling groggy from much anesthesia.\nCan't remember my name\nAnd don't know who's to blame\nFor my headache and total amnesia.", "id": 732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Acrocarpus: a genus of trees.\nAnd just where can you find some of these?\nIndonesia, Malaysia,\nAnd elsewhere in Asia.\nIt's used to make boxes for teas.", "id": 733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "There is one thing that all people share,\nHumble beggar to great millionaire.\nWhen it comes down to breath\nFor avoidance of death,\nThere quite simply ain't no topping air.", "id": 734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Her clothing has always been trashy;\nHer hair, which was blonde, is now ashy.\nHer locks have gone grey,\nAnd her figure astray,\nBut at least her Rolls-Royce is still flashy!", "id": 735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Said a seal, as she scanned the snow greyly,\n\"Antarctica's desolate, prey-ly.\nA penguin a day\nMay keep hunger away,\nBut not just a daily Ad\u00e9lie.\"", "id": 736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Aeonic: of boundless duration,\nLike having a phone conversation\nWith dear Uncle John\nAs he goes on and on\nIn the tale of his last operation.", "id": 737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "With luck she was lavishly blessed,\nBut her airmanship wasn't the best.\nWhen a cyclone touched ground,\nShe was spun all around;\nShe and Toto misplaced the Midwest.", "id": 738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If it's varnish or lacquer you brew,\nOr you're cooking up some sort of glue,\nYou'll need all kinds of goop\nIn your chemical soup \u2014\nThat includes C3H4O2.", "id": 739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When pursuing a rock-climbing bent,\nSet protection throughout your ascent.\nIf you're flip with a clip\nAnd then slip, lose your grip,\nThat deck's gonna leave quite a dent.", "id": 740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If a glance or a brief conversation\nShould engender intense fascination,\nBut you each have a spouse\nAnd two kids in the house,\nMeet to cheat: a discreet assignation.", "id": 741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Go higher and higher and higher \u2014\nAconcagua's tough summit acquire.\nThis Andean peak\nCould make you so weak\nYou might hear a heavenly choir.", "id": 743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "When a cell decays, things rearrange,\nLike the nitrogen compounds; it's strange\u2014\nTo ammonia they're turned;\nThat's what science has learned\nOf ammonification's exchange.", "id": 744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Take -9, -1, 7, \u2026\nOr -4, 1, 6, 11, \u2026\nAdd, each iteration,\nA constant\u2014elation!\nArithmetic progressions are heaven!", "id": 745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "All-inclusiveness might be a plus\nIn an Austen or Blake omnibus.\nBut for Wodehouse \u2014 now look,\nTo fit all in one book\nWould amount to a great deal of fuss.", "id": 746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Ahasuerus, the husband of Esther,\nWas a king no one else dared to pester\nFor fear of their life.\nBut his beautiful wife\nDared to plead for her kin, and God blessed her.", "id": 747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Activation analysis is\nA bewildering, byzantine biz.\nSee what samples emit\nWhen by neutrons they're hit;\nTry to pass the atomic pop quiz.", "id": 748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I would sure like to trade in the scamp\nWho is serving as my aide-de-camp.\nHe won't polish my boots,\nAnd he never salutes, . . .\nBut the General's brother's his gramp.", "id": 749, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Asiago is two kinds of cheese,\nBut to tell which is which is a breeze:\nThe ripe sort is harder,\nAnd smells up the larder.\nI favor the fresh, if you please.", "id": 750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"I choose flour,\" said the chef, highfalutin,\n\"To bake babka for President Putin.\nIf I only had my\nAleurometer, I\nCould pick one that has nyet too much gluten.\"", "id": 751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "I snarl to my foe, \"Do your worst,\"\nHe rolls\u2014two and one\u2014the man's cursed.\nBlithely I cast the dice.\nThey turn up.  I look twice\u2014\nFor it's ambsace, two ones!  He goes first.", "id": 752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "My lover was terribly quarrelly.\nI made my complaint to her orally:\n\"Would you quit\u2014for Pete's sake\u2014it?\nHow far can you take it?\"\nSo she showed how far, ambulatorily.", "id": 753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "An Alice-in-Wonderland book\nGives its readers a fanciful look\nAt adventures in peril\nLike first penned by Carroll\nWith spellbinding gobbledygook.", "id": 754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If I ever revisit Japan,\nI shall choose the American plan,\nFor though most places there\nFeature fish much too rare,\nThe hotel serves superb steak Diane.", "id": 755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Those roaches prefer now to dwell\nIn this trap full of poisonous gel!\nThey just shrug off the drug,\nSnug as bugs in a rug,\nOr some insect apartment hotel.", "id": 756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "As she stretched her long legs on the beach,\nAll the lads thought her balance a peach,\nBut not one had the nerve\nTo touch her forward curve,\nAnd her asset was quite out of reach.", "id": 757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When a neuron has something to do,\nIt lets sodium ions accrue.\nThe result is an action\nPotential transaction;\nThe axon then carries it through.", "id": 758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "matthewg", "limerick": "My thesis just couldn't prevail.\nThe reviewers all deemed it quite stale.\n\"Your topic,\" they said,\n\"Deals with just '-ing' and '-ed,'\nAnd that's far too affixal.  You fail.\"", "id": 759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Aberration: behavior or trait\nThat strays from the narrow and straight.\nIt's something that's odd,\nSuch as fur on a cod:\nA less than acceptable state.", "id": 760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I went to a midsummer festival.\nThe air was hot, humid, and pestiful.\nThe wasps and mosquitos\nSwarmed 'round my burritos.\nNext time my vacation's not aestival.", "id": 761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Astrophysicists study the sky,\nAll those heavenly bodies on high:\nStars' secrets laid bare\n(How could tabloids compare?)\nThanks to astrophotography's eye.", "id": 762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Although I have searched long and hard,\nI can't find an Arbor Day card.\nIt's really no joke\u2014\nLet's give praise to the oak!\nI think I'll plant two in my yard.", "id": 763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Articulate speech is well said\u2014\nYour message makes sense in my head.\nYour thoughts are not jumbled,\nNor are your words mumbled,\nBut uttered quite clearly instead.", "id": 764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Antiterrorist leaders are often\nCampaigning for new ways to soften\nThe harmful effects\nOf these terrorist sects,\nSo no voter ends up in a coffin.", "id": 765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A standardized aptitude test\nWill sort out the best of the best.\nBut wouldn't you know,\nMy score was too low.\nI guess I'm just one of the rest.", "id": 766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "These creatures of air, sea, and land\u2014\nThe falcon, the fish, the fox, and\nThe elk and the eagle,\nThe bear and the beagle\u2026\nThe animal kingdom is grand!", "id": 767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "To report the import of asperity,\nI'd say harshness, ill temper \u2014 severity.\nOf a person, he's gruff;\nOf a surface, it's rough.\nCrossing either demands great dexterity.", "id": 768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "It's been known to make grandmothers faint,\nSince it carries a bit of a taint.\nIt's a four-letter term,\nThough that's not why they squirm,\nFor the strictest of grammar it ain't.", "id": 769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "No, the smugglers had nowhere to hide\nWhen the Coast Guard pulled up alongside.\nThey impounded that rig,\nTossed the crew in the brig,\nAnd the skipper was fit to be tied.", "id": 770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "A mind like a sieve? Fret no more.\nAides-m\u00e9moire are a way to restore.\nYou won't have to think twice,\nWith some note or device.\nIt's French. I've forgotten what for.", "id": 771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A fiery young Aussie, Lavinia\nLoved roots that were knobbly, not linear.\nWhen her cravings grew hotter,\nHer Thai partner got her\nSome galangal roots called Alpinia.", "id": 772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "At arising on time I'm inept;\nAt sleeping quite late I'm adept.\nWhen I look at the clock,\nIt's always a shock.\nIt's late! I've again overslept.", "id": 773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Adjuvant therapy's great;\nA mixture of drugs will create\nEffects that we hone.\nInstead of alone,\nTogether they'll lengthen your fate!", "id": 774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "There once was a woman named Blake\nWho complained that her stomach did ache.\nThe doctor came quickly,\nPronouncing her \"sickly.\"\nShe really was quite a good fake!", "id": 775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "To aid and abet's to support,\nWhen criminals plan to cavort.\nIt's surely a crime\nCommitted by slime,\nThough...soon they'll be cases in court.", "id": 776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "A well-designed aqueduct oughtta\nSlope downhill for carrying water.\nThe Romans, of course,\nKnew of gravity's force,\nSo they'd make one support slightly shorter.", "id": 777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis\nIs an illness with no good prognosis.\nLike Lou Gehrig, you may,\nSadly, just waste away,\nNo matter how potent the dose is.", "id": 778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Some people are accident prone.\nThey shouldn't go out on their own.\nThey walk into doors,\nEnd up on all fours,\nFall down manholes and break every bone.", "id": 779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "It's unfair to belittle or bait\nSenior folk who St. Peter await.\nSuch terms as \"old codger,\"\n\"Old git,\" \"coffin-dodger,\"\nAre ageist and patently grate.", "id": 780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "An agony column's for those\nWith problems, anxieties, woes\n(The same old routine\nIn a teen magazine \u2014\nZits, boyfriends, the size of one's nose).", "id": 781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "An archduke, when all's said and done,\nIs an Austrian Emperor's son.\nIt's a life full of grace,\nBut in Ferdinand's case,\nHe got shot, starting off World War One.", "id": 782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "The amalgamated union of trees\nStands united in facing the breeze,\nBut each year they learn\nThat the leaves always turn,\nAnd collectively they're gonna freeze.", "id": 784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "In reply to objections preventative,\nSaid the confident sales representative:\n\"If we hope to agree,\nThen you simply can't be\nSo irritably argumentative.\"", "id": 785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Define actorish? Some so-called \"star,\"\nHanging 'round in a theatre bar,\nWho invariably tends,\nWith his thespian friends,\nTo exclaim: \"Lovey dahling! Mwah! Mwah!\"", "id": 786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Affectionless? That is my wife,\nWhen she screams at me, \"Oh, get a life!\"\nAs I spend \"nights on end\"\nGetting limericks penned,\nCausing nothing but marital strife.", "id": 787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Apiculture? The keeping of bees.\nIt's easy. In fact, it's a breeze.\nThere's plenty of money\nIn harvesting honey;\nYour bank will think you're the bee's knees!", "id": 788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "In landscape art, aerial perspective\nAs a method is rather subjective.\nIt's a rendering of shades\nIn a series of fades,\nTo give depth, which I find most effective.", "id": 789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Akan's a tongue from the Kwa\nWhose use doesn't stretch very far.\nThe Ivory Coast\nAnd Ghana, at most,\nAre where those who converse in it are.", "id": 790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Arachnoid's an entry that tends\nTo confuse. What's it mean? That depends.\n\"Fibrous membrane\" the Lord\nBuilt 'round each spinal cord,\nOr \"resembling our eight-legged friends.\"", "id": 791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "An ashtray holds ashes, no doubt,\nAnd cigarettes, lit or put out.\nSo it drives smokers nuts,\nNo ifs, ands or butts,\nWhen there isn't one lying about.", "id": 792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I assure you, it's terribly fruitless\nDebating my dear daughter's cuteness.\nIt's easy to see:\nNot some partial degree,\nBut a matter of pure absoluteness.", "id": 794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "To analyze, study the parts\nOf database tables or charts.\nYour realizations\nOf complex relations\nWill add to your technical smarts.", "id": 795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "There's many a sequence of three\nFrom the alphabet like ADC,\nBut I fear that without\nKnowing what they're about,\nThey're no more than linguistic debris.", "id": 796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The aquifers under our home\nBeneath filtering trees, grass, and loam,\nAmid layers of clay\nAre a tri-tiered array\nOf groundwater, cached in a dome.", "id": 797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Addictedness makes your heart race\nAt a breakneck and dangerous pace.\nYou need that next score,\nAnd you crave more and more\nOf that anapest falling in place!", "id": 799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The amoeba is terribly primitive;\nIt doesn't take plenty for him t' live.\nNot a worry or care,\nNo shampooing his hair,\nYet his life must be really quite dim t' live.", "id": 800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A chemistry prof who's fanatical\nIs taking a year on sabbatical.\nThis wacky aesthete'll\nCommune with acetyl,\nReturning more rabid and radical.", "id": 801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Acceptance is sometimes a state\nOf submission and lying in wait.\nYou have given assent;\nYou are set and content;\nYou succumb to the finger of fate.", "id": 802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Microtubules resembling a ray\nCan form asters, biologists say.\nWhen mitosis occurs,\nThere are systems of spurs\nOn the spindles like stars on display.", "id": 803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anadiplosis is this:\nThis style that's not easy to miss.\nMiss, it's a pity,\nA pity you're pretty,\nPretty soon I shall ask for a kiss.", "id": 804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your thighs, as the x-rays have shown,\nHave been busted. The cause is well known.\nNo ifs, ands, or buts,\nI'd say God hates your guts.\n(Or perhaps you're just accident prone.)", "id": 805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "An appellant is one who does plea;\nBegs the Court of Appeals to agree\nThat the lower court erred.\nWants reversal declared.\nThe opposing one's called appellee.", "id": 806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "During Mass the presider will search\nThrough the Bible atop of his perch.\nAnd the people should heed\nAll the Scriptures he'll read\nUp in front at the ambo in church.", "id": 807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The firemen faced some great harm there,\nResponding to some guy's alarm blare.\nThe reason? No joking,\nHe fell asleep smoking,\nWhile sitting, relaxed, in an armchair.", "id": 808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The American saddlebred horse\nIs a horsey, of coursey, of course.\nIts slow-gaited pacing\nAin't suited for racing,\nFor which it shows little remorse.", "id": 809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"The meek\" and \"the red, white, and blue\":\nThese are adnouns, they are, through and through.\nAdjectival at heart,\nThey'll lip-synch the part\nOf a noun, sir, without much ado.", "id": 810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Expansion on front and back sides\nBy a fungus and lichen betides\nA leaf, when they both\nShow amphigenous growth\nWhich the leaf, ever patient, abides.", "id": 811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A poor worn out housewife named Holly\nTried to send herself airmail to Bali.\nShe arrived near to death\n'Cause of  shortness of breath\nFrom the lack of an airhole, by golly!", "id": 812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "An elderly arborist, Fred,\nSetting out to prune limbs that were dead,\nFound the trees in the orchard\nSo tangled and tortured,\nHe looked once and went back to bed.", "id": 813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I stuffed pita fibre, or arghan,\nRight into his mouth, really far, an'\nHe went, \"Aaarrrgggh!\nAaaaAAAArrrrggGGH!\nAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH, MAN!\"", "id": 814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If you hope to get my feline pet\nIn the bath without breaking a sweat,\nWithout suff'ring a slash\nOr a swift, soaking splash \u2014\nIf you think that, my friend, you're all wet.", "id": 815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In cold climates, wherever you are,\nPut some antifreeze into your car.\nIf you don't, it might stall,\nOr not start up at all,\nAnd, alas, you won't get very far.", "id": 817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "There are words that we don't often hear;\nSuch arcana may cause us to jeer.\nBut that term also means\nThe lost art of the deans\nOf an alchemy ancients held dear.", "id": 818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Hamsadhwani", "limerick": "To consider a concept abstractly\nIs to think of it quite inexactly \u2014\nTo wax philosophic\nAnd dream macroscopic\n(Rather than matter-of-factly).", "id": 819, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "An MBA (top of his class!)\nHad a scheme for great wealth to amass.\nBut he's not worth a plug\nSince a flesh-eating bug\nTurned his person and plans into frass.", "id": 820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A tough guy, a dipso named Dipsy,\nChugged  alcohol 'til he was tipsy.\nHe awoke in detox\nCraving hootch on the rocks,\nBut the guard said, \"You've had your last nip, see?\"", "id": 821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abaxial refers to a part\nOf a plant facing out from the heart\n(That's the stem of the plant)\nOr the surface that can't\nGet the rays of the sun when they start.", "id": 822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "EnglishBob", "limerick": "Not Indian, this land mammal's nice\nAs a wrinkled, shade-giving device.\nHuge ears and a nose\nThat can reach to its toes,\nBut a ludicrous phobia of mice.", "id": 823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "You're exhausted; you're paler and paler.\nYou seem to be frailer and frailer.\nAnemia's tirin',\nYou need much more iron.\nTry spinach, like Popeye the Sailor!", "id": 824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The abducens, a cranial nerve,\nInnervates eye muscles with verve.\nWhen you look to the side,\nIt makes your eyes glide\nSo you'll see what you want to observe.", "id": 825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The antidepressants enliven\nThose patients whose moods have been divin'.\nBe happy; don't fret,\nYour life isn't set.\nThese caplets can stimulate thrivin'!", "id": 826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "While your insult was not so appealing,\n'Twas revealing of you, I am feeling.\nIn fact, it was galling,\nAnd rude and appalling,\nThough I'm healing and certainly dealing.", "id": 828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "I will serve you my pasta with sauce.\nAlfredo is cheesy \u2014 the boss!\nIt's white, never red;\nTastes rich, it is said.\nYou don't want to try it?  Your loss!", "id": 830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The arch on your foot needs support\nFor walking or when you cavort.\nYour arch, if ignored,\nIs as flat as a board,\n'Cause shoes with high fashion contort!", "id": 831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "With asthma she'll huff and she'll wheeze,\nShe'll cough and may grunt, but won't sneeze.\nIf she'll use her inhaler,\nHer breathing won't fail her.\nAnd, smoking must stop, if you please!", "id": 832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "After dark, though I hide in my bed,\nI still suffer from blows to my head.\nIt's the wind with its billows\nPounding me with my pillows:\nAerothermodynamics, 'tis said.", "id": 833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A backgammon player, not nice,\nWas loaded and so were his dice.\nHe threw acey-deucey,\nA one and a two, see,\nFor the chance in his cups to roll twice.", "id": 834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Neither eagle nor Trump ever wearies\nOf cirrus-wrapped castles called aeries;\nThese homes are so high\nThat they tickle the sky\nIn prime-time reality series.", "id": 835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the fall, leaves and flowers senesce;\nAnthocyanin colors finesse\nReds, purples, and blues\u2014\nTheir brilliant hues\nBrightly glowing\u2014then all evanesce.", "id": 836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Ubiquitous joiner is and,\nIts symbols: plus sign, ampersand.\nWe use this conjunction\nTo add to each function,\nAs wedding bands bind hand to hand.", "id": 837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Acaridae, family whose mites\nHave eight tiny legs but big bites,\nInfests hives of bees\nOr cornmeal, dried peas.\nSome bit me; I scratched twenty nights!", "id": 838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "For thickening liquids, most prize\nFine flours of oats, wheats, and ryes.\nIf your gut vetoes gluten,\nJust use arrowroot in\nYour sauces, your puddings, your pies.", "id": 839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Light-green, desert-born succulent sheaf,\nLet your gel to my burns give relief:\nAloes bloom, flaming red,\nOr bright yellow, instead,\nAnd dinosaur spines edge each leaf.", "id": 840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "I am green at this limerick craft:\nWhen I write my poor rhythm goes daft.\nThrough revisions galore,\nAmateurishness, or\nPure ineptitude, clabbers each draft.", "id": 841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A bug from a hive (just a li'l bee),\nIsn't tired at first, but she will be,\nAs she flits to and fro\nWith the breezes that blow\n'Til she stops on a soft pink astilbe.", "id": 842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A fed-up employee named Bill\nPhoned his boss to announce he was ill.\nBut his boss wouldn't bite:\n\"Sick of work\" was not quite\nA true ailment requiring a pill.", "id": 843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "As objects from previous times,\nAntiques have a value that climbs\n'Til they grow so expensive\nThat buyers turn pensive\nWhile counting their nickels and dimes.", "id": 844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Angora's a cat, goat, or rabbit\nWith hair long and silky of habit,\nOr the yarn made of such.\n(So luxurious to touch!)\nBut it's so darned expensive, dagnabbit!", "id": 845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Ananias: New Testament chap\nWho, when caught in a lie, took the rap.\nHe said he had given\nHis substance and livin'\nTo the poor. God knew better, and \"ZAP!\"", "id": 846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Anathema's something accursed,\nAnd pronounced absolutely the worst.\nIt is truly no fun\nIf to you it's been done\nBy canonical rite, well-rehearsed.", "id": 847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A languorous fellow named Phil,\nBy a doctor was given a pill\nWhich produced a proclivity\nTo frenzied activity\nIn listless folk lacking the will.", "id": 848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Though cold winter weather will chill us,\nThe lack of a garden won't kill us.\nWe can still grow a bloom\nIn a well-heated room:\nA gorgeous bright red amaryllis.", "id": 849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "My intestinal state is not bright\nSince I ate all that roadkill last night.\nParasitical worm,\nI'm invaded! I term\nIt Acanthocephala's blight.", "id": 850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Here's an unmusical matter\nOf antieuphonious clatter!\nOcarina's detuned,\nThe accordion's ru'ned;\nEach player's both sharper and flatter.", "id": 851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Poets' anapest rhythms belong\nWith a rhyme that is virile and strong\nIn our craftily wrought\nAnd cute odes that do not\nHave a hitch in their own git-along.", "id": 852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "There's a species of African shrub\nThat lives wild in the dry wooded scrub.\nWith an albidus leaf\n(That is, off-white, in brief),\nI've a rockrose I've grown in a tub.", "id": 853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and Nan", "limerick": "Now Aachen's a fine German city.\nStroll through it; you'll find it quite pretty.\nYet during the War\nIts enemies swore\nThey'd destroy this great place; what a pity.", "id": 854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A shortstop who vied for the spot,\nStopped short when his aglet tip caught.\nWhile his shoe was relaced,\nHe was also replaced,\nAnd a second-string's just what he got.", "id": 855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Adumbral, she lay in his shade:\nTwo sweethearts asleep in a glade.\nWhen later they woke,\nShe lovingly spoke,\n\"Why, what a long shadow you've made.\"", "id": 858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Ascidian creatures are sea squirts,\nWith bodies like bags tucked in T-shirts;\nThrough tubes in the \"sleeves,\"\nWater pumps in, then leaves\nWell-filtered and pumped out in wee spurts.", "id": 859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Word_Nerd", "limerick": "Accentor, for me, is a word\nWhose meaning is odd and absurd.\nIt does not, as I guessed,\nShow the syllable stressed;\nIt's merely a sparrow-like bird.", "id": 860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "An inveterate pruner and mulcher\nDelighted in arboriculture.\nHe nurtured trees much\nAs a hen tends her clutch,\nAnd he watched for dead limbs like a vulture.", "id": 861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "This project has lim'ricks abundant,\nSo many that some seem redundant.\nWith meanings far-fetched\n(At a minimum stretched),\nThose are scarce that you might call profundant.", "id": 862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Strap a packsaddle (un aparejo),\nOn a burro's back; hasta luego!\n(For your comfort, se\u00f1or,\nDon't forget, por favor,\nTo stuff it with moss or with hay, though!)", "id": 863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abulic means \"lacking in will\",\nAn affliction that sadly is still\nA most common trait\nIn those folks who hate\nTo put in more effort than nil.", "id": 864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Mahogany, African grown\n(Not a monochrome orangey roan),\nLays a color array\nWhich covers, some say,\nThe full range of human skin tone.", "id": 865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "The arroba enjoys great success\nAs \"that sign in the e-mail address.\"\nAs a unit of weight\nIt's not used much of late,\nAnd, frankly, the later, the less.", "id": 866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "The kindly (and stylish) Gwen Fox\nFavored loudly red Argyle-ish socks.\nHer gael-ly clad feet\nEnhanced her discreet,\nAnd yet elegant, re-tailored smocks.", "id": 867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "The fierce Aeluroidea eat\nTame herbivores (on-the-hoof meat).\nIn this group is my cat,\nPampered Carlos the Fat,\nWho still feigns to dismember each treat.", "id": 868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A lad who'd been drunk at a dance\nDecided to nap, but by chance\nHe chose, near a willow,\nAn anthill as pillow\nAnd woke 'neath a blanket of ants.", "id": 869, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "There once was a friar named Xavier\nWho engaged in aberrant behavior.\nHe was so out of line,\nOther monks did decline\nTo pray for his soul to their Savior.", "id": 870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "What's hairy and musky and round,\nAnd can also be typically found\nNear a Tripoli pub?\nIt's the abelmosk shrub\u2014\nEither that, or a Libyan hound.", "id": 871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The staff meeting barely had started,\nWhen the boss appeared, very down-hearted.\nHe said that the docket\nHad slipped from his pocket;\nAgendaless, staffers departed.", "id": 872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A spy on a top secret mission\nFlew into a weather condition\nThat made his plane drop\nAnd his stomach go \"plop\"\nWhen an air pocket changed his position.", "id": 873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For the poor, I have emptied my hoard;\nInto service, my life has been poured.\nFor my altruism here\n(Can't you tell I'm sincere?)\nI will reap an eternal reward.", "id": 874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "No consonants!  Does this seem ominous?\nIt's with rough-surfaced lava synonymous.\nYet the thought it conveys\nWith two capital A's\nIs, of course, Alcoholics Anonymous.", "id": 875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm chagrined to confess that I flirted\nIn Scotland, and even adverted\nMy eye toward his thigh\nOn the Isle of Skye:\nBut I thought him a lassie, plaid-skirted.", "id": 876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The word abernethy, I've heard,\nMeans a biscuit, whose batter is stirred\nUp with caraway seeds.\nBut for my snacking needs,\nA jelly-filled donut's preferred.", "id": 877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "For John Milton there was a strong need\nThrough Areopagitica's screed\nTo tell Parliament\nThey all ought to repent\nAnd not censor the stuff they don't read.", "id": 878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The powerful force of attraction\nHelps lovers attain satisfaction.\nA magical dragnet,\nThis amative magnet\nInspires the desired interaction.", "id": 879, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "An apologist makes no retraction;\nHe aims to repent no infraction;\nHis job is to show\nThat what is should be so,\nAnd to do it with utmost exaction.", "id": 880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "The odd acrocephalous dome\nHas a point like the hat of a gnome.\nIt's called acro, for \"peak,\"\nAnd then head, said in Greek:\nBut it still gives the mind a good home.", "id": 881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "How I wish that you wouldn't announce\nEvery thought \u2014 only talk when it counts.\nContinuous patter\nIs not welcome chatter.\nAnnoyance, accordingly, mounts.", "id": 882, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "When stealing a car, I got caught\nAnd attempts to stay free came to naught.\nNow I've finished my time\nFor that silly old crime,\nSo have I forgiveness abought?", "id": 883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The water first needs its own blessing\n(Not Catholic, I'm partially guessing).\nOnce the water's made holy,\nPriests sprinkle it slowly\u2014\nAsperges, the service progressing.", "id": 884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "An appendage that's shaped like a wing,\nThat's the long and the short of the thing.\nThere are alae on flies,\nMaple seeds in the skies,\nAnd my nostrils, now pierced by a ring.", "id": 885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My lady-friend's singing's inspired.\nAt auditions she's first to be hired.\nHer father and brother\nAre tone deaf, like mother.\n(I guess such a talent's acquired.)", "id": 886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With a child, you just can't be abusive.\nMake your praise for him steady, effusive.\nThe love that he feels\nWhen with family he deals\nMust be total, sincere, all-conclusive.", "id": 887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Every time that you happen to find\nThat the 8-ball, again, you're behind,\nGood sense should suffice,\nSo why ask my advice\nWhen you've already made up your mind?", "id": 888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To abhor's to deplore even more\nThan most items you've hated before,\nLike an eyesore, a whore,\nOr a meaningless war,\nThough what I most abhor is a bore.", "id": 889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "If you want your shortcomings ignored\nAnd your public approval restored:\nIf you toke, don't inhale;\nKeep your eyes off her tail;\nAnd your finances all aboveboard.", "id": 890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A fiber-free diet left Kit\nSo bloated she felt she would split.\nAbevacuation\nFell short of elation,\nBut made it less painful to sit.", "id": 891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Should you gloat that your garden's abloom\nWith bouquets boasting perfect perfume,\nI shall snarl that its smell\nIs the handwork of hell\nAnd a hay fever sufferer's doom.", "id": 892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My speech is, I'd say, unassumin'.\nI speak like the average human.\nSome acrolects say\nThat AC-ya-men's OK,\nBut I always go for a-KYOO-min.", "id": 893, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bartender, to his chagrin,\nCould discover no drink in his inn.\nHe said with reproach:\n\"My casks are abroach!\nThey were punctured, and lost all their gin!\"", "id": 894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A throbbing of pain in your head\nRecalls your consumption of red.\nWhile you're still seeing double,\nYour brats, all abubble,\nSqueal, \"Come on, dad! Get out of bed!\"", "id": 895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A lawyer, in closing his case,\nMight refer to a photographed face\nAs a fact, if it's true,\nAdminicular to\nAn event, demonstrating its place.", "id": 896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A shy, acrophobic canary\nMade friends with a quail on the prairie.\nWhen a finch in a tree\nPropositioned him, he\nSaid, \"Your eerie, high aerie's too scary.\"", "id": 897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "When acology's art was obscure\nAnd its remedies weren't so secure,\nQuacks had herbs for malaise\nAnd those In Between Days\nLong before we discovered The Cure.", "id": 898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Actinic behavior is seen\nWhen the sun does its daily routine.\nIf your hair starts to bleach\nOr you peel at the beach,\nIt's just Sol up there, venting his spleen.", "id": 899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Like a fight scene from really bad fiction,\nThis guy kicked my ass with conviction.\nWhile his fists were like stone,\nWe were far from alone\u2014\nA public display of affliction!", "id": 900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mechaieh", "limerick": "Of all of the realms to be sad in,\nThe lair of the angel Abaddon \u2014\nTeeming with locusts\nAnd dark hocus-pocus \u2014\nO grasshopper, that's the Big Bad 'Un.", "id": 901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Little amberfish, carangid dish,\nIs like metal in hue. I just wish\nThat you could, in verse free\nWith words vivid now see\nHow so graceful in water she'd swish.", "id": 902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My mouth hangs wide open, agape.\nI look like a Barbary ape.\nSome flies could swoop in,\nThen crawl out on my chin.\nDon't catch me on videotape!", "id": 903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I reject your surreal allegation\nAnd find it a sad aberration.\nIt's simply delusional,\nYour saucers illusional,\nA symptom of alienation.", "id": 904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Election time comes, and I flee.\nNow tell me, sir, why should this be?\nNo details can be told\nWith counting by Diebold:\nAbroad, I can vote absentee.", "id": 905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It may seem amusing and neat\nTo tackle this challenging feat\nIn extra-fast times,\nBut with this many rhymes,\nWhatever we do, they'll accrete.", "id": 906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To patients, with temperature high,\nSaid doctors, in days long gone by:\n\"The fevers that plague you\nSuggest that the ague\nHas visited you, I descry.\"", "id": 907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An ill-mannered suitor named Hunt\nWooed a girl, but was overly blunt.\nHe asked her to shack up,\nBut that got her back up:\nIt took her aback, this affront.", "id": 908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An academic's a man whose I.Q.\nFar surpasses all but for a few.\nBut should great intellect\nEngender respect\nIn a man who can't tie his own shoe?", "id": 909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I love words; I can't leave them alone.\nMoving letters, I make them my own.\nAnd with this kind of change\nTo the \"Amazon range\"\nI create my own \"anagram zone.\"", "id": 911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "It's all suffix and prefix, real cute:\nIts rare meaning my brain can't dispute.\nAcutangular's plight?\nThere's no root word in sight:\nBut conveys if an angle's acute.", "id": 912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "I'm ancient in all of my ways:\nI still lean on my cane while I gaze\nAt Noah's grandmubba\nAnd croak \"hubba hubba\"\nIn this rest home for aging rou\u00e9s.", "id": 913, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "You're awake in your bed with a dread:\nHas the trust in your partner so fled\nThat you dream of his flight\nWith your money each night,\nTo absquatulate off to Club Med?", "id": 914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My gut is a mass of adhesions.\nI'm sure that I don't know the reasons.\nI think my last surgeon\nHad the skill of a sturgeon,\nAnd I have to live with the lesions.", "id": 915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Holding fast to my oath, I endured.\nThen renouncing my oath, I abjured.\nBut abjuring's more fun\nBecause when I'm done\nI've had it both ways \u2014 I'm insured.", "id": 916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Define angle as \"outwit a trout\nIn whose stream you are wading about.\"\nIzaak Walton's Compleat\nAngler's truly a treat\nOf authority piscine devout.", "id": 917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Bye bye, elephant birds in the sky.\nYou don't see one? Extinction is why.\nAepyorniformes' vast\nFeathered wings did not last,\nSo below  with relief we all sigh.", "id": 918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Now her baby's cloth diaper's soaked through\nFor the third time this hour.  She knew\nThat she'd suffer some stinks.\n\"Yes, it's tougher,\" she thinks,\n\"To avoid C3H4O2.\"", "id": 919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My neighbor McNutt is aflutter.\nHe opens his shutter to sputter,\n\"Your mutt, I can see,\nLikes to water my tree!\"\nMcNutt is a nutty abutter.", "id": 920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's an arrogant Muslim Wahhabi\nIn a Saudi political lobby.\nA contemptuous snob,\nHe looks down on his job,\nBut likes blowing things up as a hobby.", "id": 921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an Adelaide mate is in town,\nHe will drink till he thinks he might drown.\nA bit later this Aussie, um,\nBarfing ad nauseam,\nCan't keep a single thing down.", "id": 922, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A minority suffers aggrievement\nWhen injustices lead to bereavement.\nThey fight, don't you see,\nFor their right to be free,\nWhich becomes their historic achievement.", "id": 923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you ponder the ways you could die\nAnd what anguish and death throes imply,\nI would tell you, who knows\nAbout agonal woes?\nYou could croak in the wink of an eye.", "id": 924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Musicians, it's been my impression,\nUse ad libitum as an expression.\nIf you major in voice\nOr if oboe's your choice,\nIt will mean \"at the player's discretion.\"", "id": 925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your 'do might be something to dig\nOr mistaken by bros for a wig,\nBut if ever the door\nIsn't wide enough for\nYour hair, then your 'fro is too big.", "id": 926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They say Artemis, bathing, was caught\nBy Actaeon, which made her distraught.\nSo she, as a gag,\nTurned him into a stag\nAnd his dogs ate him up on the spot.", "id": 927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A nubile young girl's bridal dream:\nAlen\u00e7on lace flows like a stream\nFrom a Tiffany crown,\nAnd her silk charmeuse gown\nEnhances her curves with each seam.", "id": 928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "The aecidium, fungus external,\nIs a sign of corruption internal.\nIt will grow, on your plum,\nQuite as big as your thumb,\nAnd as ugly as sin is infernal.", "id": 929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "My limericks are being aestheticized:\nBeautified, polished, poeticized.\nMy syntax I mourn\nAs to shreds is it torn,\nAnd my slant rhyme is savagely creticized.", "id": 931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the crow flies and air line agree.\nThey describe for a bird or for me\nHow to move in a line\nThrough the air and define\nJust how short such a distance can be.", "id": 932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "Acids, I think you'll agree,\nAre chemical hazards, you see.\nThey'll eat through a rock\nOr your grandfather clock,\nSo it's wise to just let acids be.", "id": 933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cat", "limerick": "In an afghan you'll oft find a hippie,\nWho'll wear one whenever it's nippy.\nIt's a huge furry coat\nThat can smell like a goat,\nBut I want one\u2014or am I just dippy?", "id": 934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Aeolistic means talking too much;\nSomeone rambling, long-winded and such.\nThe Prez is a sample;\nHis rhetoric's ample,\nAnd his blabber is so out of touch.", "id": 935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My alcoholometer's broke\nSo my homebrew is naught but a joke;\nThe percent alcohol\nMay be nothing at all\nOr it could cause your eyeballs to smoke.", "id": 936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Lament not, in poker, your poor hand;\nJust think, it could never be more bland\nThan if you foresaw\nEvery card you would draw,\n'Cause you knew of the shuffle aforehand.", "id": 937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "To avoid any terror or fear\nMake no Amazon lady your dear;\nAnatolian love\nFrom that muscular dove\nMay well kill you inside of a year.", "id": 939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Do you find yourself talking like this?\nAre your family and friends getting pissed?\nCould it be any worse\nWhen you're thinking in verse?\nMister Anapest, cease and desist!", "id": 940, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Am I, or is Addison, greater?\"\nSaid Steele to an Irish Spectator.\nGiving both the short shrift,\nShe replied: \"Why, it's Swift!\nNeither Tatler am I, nor a traitor.\"", "id": 941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acantho- and cephalan worm\nIs a parasite, I can affirm.\nIt's terribly tiny,\nTenacious and spiny.\nIf you get it, you'll wiggle and squirm.", "id": 943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There once was an arrant young cad\nSo wholly, outstandingly bad,\nHis deeds such a torrent\nOf ill, that I'll warrant\nA warrant outstanding he had.", "id": 944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Every one of us thinks, I suppose,\nThat he talks in quite accentless prose.\nOf course I speak correctly,\nGlaswegians abjectly,\nAnd Brummies all talk down their nose!", "id": 945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your seat belt might not fully snap in,\nOr a power tool might catch you nappin'.\nYou could step on a snake,\nAnd condoms can break.\nRemember, folks: accidents happen!", "id": 946, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the Alps, all those sharp pointy peaks,\nCalled aiguilles by a person who speaks\nIn a Francophone tongue,\nAre so oft overhung\nWith long cables for t\u00e9l\u00e9ph\u00e9riques.", "id": 947, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My beauty is ageless, I'm regal;\nMy glance is like that of an eagle;\nAge cannot wither\nNor custom stale either\nThe infinite charms of a beagle.", "id": 948, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "There once was a luckless Peruvian\nWhose jalopy was antediluvian.\nGirls thought the machine\nWas a sight to be seen\u2014\nBut not to be seen at a movie in.", "id": 949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Would apnoea be repetition,\nAs we've apnea done, in this mission?\nSince it could lead to death,\nBetter not hold your breath\nWhile you wait for a new definition.", "id": 950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Each limerick here is an item,\nAnd we've all made it clear we can write 'em.\nIn volumes! A score!\nAnd then more upon more!\nThe work goes on ad infinitum!", "id": 951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An album is used for collections\nOf photographs, stamps, or selections\nOf snippets you've read,\nWritten, doodled, or said \u2014\nAnd it tends to provoke introspections.", "id": 952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Ashkenazim are human Mom's team,\nSo I'm Jewish, or so it would seem.\nBut on beagle Mom's side,\nWe're distinct, bona fide\nMejicanos with years of esteem.", "id": 953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm simply an old academic\nWhose words often cause a polemic.\nI've tried many times\nTo avoid this in rhymes,\nBut I fear that the trait is systemic.", "id": 954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "\tI get nervous when naming f-fleas.\n\tIt's not easy; it's hard as b-bees.\n\tOr worse still's that b-bug,\n\tThe bean weevil\u2014oh, ugh:\nA-c-can-tho-thoscel-li-lides.", "id": 955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In descriptions of orbits generic,\n\"Apoapsis\" sounds too esoteric.\nTo advise, \"Fly this high\nOr you'll crash, burn, and die!\"\nMeans the same, but makes crewmen hysteric.", "id": 956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "One Aix is a genus of duck,\nThat dabbles for goodies to suck.\nEight Aixes, perchance,\nIf you're traveling in France\nAre supplied with hot springs: you're in luck!", "id": 957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "N. Bonaparte, essence of macho,\nWas born in the town of Ajaccio.\nThis Corsican, who\nMust have studied Sun Tzu,\nTurned his myriad foes to gazpacho.", "id": 958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Yes, Edison's bulb (of great lore)\nLit the homestead and fact'ry and store,\nBut 'twas not the first light\nTo have sparked up the night \u2014\nFor the arc lamp had done that before.", "id": 959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Placenta that's spent\u2014what's it worth\nWhen, its shiny side up, it hits earth?\nWell, its story's not through:\nIt turns up in shampoo,\nThus proving there's life afterbirth.", "id": 960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Actomyosin, thanks and hooray!\nYou're that viscous contractile souffl\u00e9\nOf two proteins (complex)\nThat permit abs to flex:\nI am sucking my gut in today.", "id": 961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Here is a law that's dependable,\nA precept ne'er broken nor bendable:\nWhen starting a fire\nYou always require\nHeat, air, and something accendible.", "id": 962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "His lectures were dull and quite dead;\nSeems nothing absorbing was said.\nHe'd hear students boo,\n\"We don't cotton to you.\"\nNow he's writing the textbooks instead.", "id": 963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "\"I fresco with ease,\" said a master,\nWhile painting on freshly spread plaster.\n\"But I sneeze in fresh air\nAnd start panting out there,\nSo alfresco can soon spell disaster.\"", "id": 964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "When they kissed 'neath a poplar, and he\nPopped the question, she didn't agree,\nBarking, \"No! You're a sap.\"\nSo it seems the poor chap\nWill remember the alamo tree.", "id": 965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A fellow who trotted the globe\nNow sits in his house in a robe.\nHe fears open spaces\nAnd dreads public places.\nWe call him an agoraphobe.", "id": 966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In China they'll total your bill\nUsing beads and numerical skill.\nTheir fingers will blur\nIn an abacus whir.\nYou'll thrill to this digital drill.", "id": 967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My son wrote a fine dissertation\nOn chemical vinification.\nI skimmed through his treatise\nAnd spotted acetous,\nA word with a sour intimation.", "id": 968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Queneau produced verses plethoric,\nBut his poetry's aleatoric.\n\"Roll the dice for each line;\nIf they sound asinine,\nI can claim all my art's metaphoric.\"", "id": 969, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "To altern is to civilly wait\nFor your turn; but instead, at the gate\nOf the typical show,\nWe will restlessly go\nRight ahead of the halt and sedate.", "id": 970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The knights had such cumbersome armor\nTo shield them from harm and the harmer.\nThe metal was hot,\nSo they sweated a lot,\nBut it made for a great-looking charmer!", "id": 971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Though nutritional needs we must meet,\nAnorexics just don't want to eat.\nYet those who are fat,\nWhose tummies aren't flat,\nMight think such affliction a treat!", "id": 972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The earth was primordial slime,\nBut dried to a sweltering clime.\nThen it rained and it rained\nUntil nothing remained\nOf the antediluvian time.", "id": 973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My friend was a very late bloomer,\nA joker and squirt gun consumer.\nWhen his aim went awry,\nI got shot in the eye.\nI'm a victim of aqueous humor.", "id": 974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "I thought I knew every word plant-ous;\nThe lexicon's breadth I would span thus.\nBut I must confide,\nThere's a thorn in my side,\nAnd that thorn is quite plainly acanthous!", "id": 975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Adenoidally challenged, I fear\nThat most people will struggle to hear\nThrough my snorting and splutter\nThe words that I utter \u2014\nA nasal assault on the ear!", "id": 976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A word of accord...\"It is so!\"\nA shout of approval...\"You go!\"\nIn a church...\"We agree!\"\nIn a prayer...\"It will be!\"\nAmen's always \"YES,\" never \"no.\"", "id": 977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Her words were so acidly spoken,\nHer wave of the hand just a token.\nHis dismissal complete,\nHe lay crushed at her feet.\nHe was not only burned, but quite broken.", "id": 978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My alpine retreat is so small.\nIt's truly a hole-in-the-wall,\nBut there's crisp mountain air\nAnd, past the snow's glare,\nI see alps quite impossibly tall.", "id": 979, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My complexion went thoroughly ashen.\nWould anyone show some compassion?\nCould I show my grey face\nIn a haute couture place\nWithout wearing the latest in fashion?", "id": 980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My ascendancy here in this forum\nHas nothing to do with decorum.\nI'm known as a brat,\nBut I spew rhymes like that!\n(Do you think that my boast has a quorum?)", "id": 981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An accepted and widely used trick\nIs to lay on the humor too thick\nAnd to pun in your rhyme \u2014\nBut if done all the time,\nYou could get the short end of the schtick.", "id": 982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "On fine days I love to go rambling,\nWhich is praiseworthy (unlike, say, gambling).\nI track in tall grass\nAnd find bunnies to sass.\nI'm happiest when I'm off ambling.", "id": 983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I don't want to call the police.\nI'm sure this was just a caprice.\nYou dogs snatched 20 biscuits\nAnd two thawing briskets \u2014\nAnd stole seven lambchops apiece.", "id": 984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An afrit's an Arabic jinn,\nMalevolent, looking for sin.\nThis powerful wraith\nWants to ruin your faith,\nAnd would happily peel off your skin.", "id": 985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Most colas I cannot digest.\nRC, Diet Coke, and the rest\nResult in apepsy;\nAt times, catalepsy.\n\"A Pepsi?\" Oh no! I protest!", "id": 986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "To protect my great-grandmother's chair\nAgainst grease or superfluous hair,\nShe resorted to bedrest\nAnd crocheted a headrest\u2014\nThat antimacassar's still there.", "id": 988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "If you're taking a ride in the car,\nI'd be sure that the door's not ajar.\nIf it swings open wide,\nYou might lose what's inside,\nOr fall out, and not get very far.", "id": 989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "A long time ago in the way backs,\nThose villains of Troy got their paybacks.\nA horse full of guys\nTook the town by surprise.\nThe most valiant invader was Ajax.", "id": 990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm arranging my flowers in pots;\nJust the actinomorphic have spots.\nThese are flowers that you\nCan split nicely in two.\nThey're the \"halves\" of the halves and halve-nots.", "id": 991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "In China, a nursemaid's an amah.\nA Portugese ama aids mama.\nSo one or the other\nPerhaps helped to mother\nConfucius or Vasco da Gama.", "id": 992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "\"Hard aport,\" Cap'n Kate says, \"ye grubber!\"\nAdds Jack the first mate, \"Don't ye snub 'er!\"\nI stammer and stutter\nTill Jack takes the rudder:\n\"It means to turn left, ye lan' lubber!\"", "id": 993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Maximilian, an archducal son,\nA Mexican empire'd begun.\nHis regime got a veto\nFrom Ju\u00e1rez (Benito),\nWho led a rebellion, and won.", "id": 994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "If away from the earth you are fleein',\nThat direction is called apogean.\nThat's from apo, \"away\",\nAnd the earth's g-e-a,\nAnd the end of it all is a wee n.", "id": 995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "An arb is an arbitrageur,\nLike a stock market entrepreneur:\nBuy something up cheap\nAnd then sell it off steep,\nAnd a nice little profit secure.", "id": 996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Here a nice unit circle perplexes;\nA point on the edge of it vexes:\nFrom (x, y) untangle\nThe upward arc's angle\nBy taking an arccosine (x's).", "id": 997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This limerick, started by me,\nWas designed to define abc,\nBut I floundered around\n'Til I finally found\nIt's \"the basics\" (I hope you'll agree).", "id": 998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The ABO system excels:\nIt classifies human blood cells.\nType A rejects B;\nOnly O to O, see?\nAB receives all but repels!", "id": 999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Quoth Hamlet, \"Alas!\" Then, \"Poor Yorick.\nI knew him...,\"  and waxes rhetoric.\nThe Dane, whose woes fester,\nRefers to the jester\nAs him: we call that anaphoric.", "id": 1000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If in crowds you display geniality\nAnd with others you find new vitality,\nBut you find equal zest\nFar away from the rest,\nAmbiversion is your personality.", "id": 1001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Workshop", "limerick": "An issue complex is abortion;\nIt's divisive...that's not a distortion.\nIt's pregnancy's end,\nAnd let's not pretend \u2014\nIt's a subject that many and more shun.", "id": 1002, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Phyl Reinhard", "limerick": "Mention ark, Noah first comes to mind.\n'Twas his boat that saved two of each kind.\nNext it's sacred law's chest,\nOr perhaps it's known best\nWith a cap., where Bill Clinton's enshrined.", "id": 1003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Beware of the strict absolutist,\nFor even if he is the cutest,\nHe'd give all control\nTo just one ruling soul;\nHis reasoning's not the astutest.", "id": 1004, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Here with solemn and painstaking thought\nIs my great apologia wrought;\nIn this poem I shall\nGive my own rationale\nFor my deepest beliefs: viz., why not?", "id": 1005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Some creatures, most often microbic,\nAre anaerobes (or anaerobic).\nThey live places where\nYou can't get any air,\nThough you'd think that they'd get claustrophobic.", "id": 1006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "To Allah do Muslims oft pray;\nIn fact, they do five times a day\nWhile facing the east\n(Or toward Mecca, at least).\n[Thus a reverent poem I essay.]", "id": 1008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Ambrosia, the food of the gods!\nBut what do you think are the odds\nThat a coconut dish\nWith fruit, though delish,\nWould immortalize average-Joe clods?", "id": 1009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Any New World amphibian key\nIncludes ambystomatidae.\nO, great salamand-\ner, horizons expand,\nIn your swamp, perish not, but live free!", "id": 1010, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When one cannot sit still (not a chance!)\nAnd one fidgets or gets up to dance,\nThe clear diagnosis:\nNot mumps or thrombosis,\nOne merely has ants in one's pants.", "id": 1011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm ambiguous, so say you all.\nI come, or I don't, when you call.\nTo \"Quiet!\" I bark\nOr I make no remark.\nIf you tell me to sit I may sprawl.", "id": 1012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My wife is a young Amerasian.\nShe adheres to the Buddhist persuasion.\nHer Dad is from Thailand,\nHer Mom from Rhode Island.\nWe speak the same tongue on occasion.", "id": 1013, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A polygon's apothem straight\n(With apothegm do not conflate!)\nDrawn from center, mid-side,\nGives the radius applied\nTo inscribing its circular mate.", "id": 1014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "One chap with a piddling IQ\nHad a neurodendritic review.\nGasped the doc, \"Ho!  See, these\nLook like sticks, not like trees:\nSeems your arborization's askew!\"", "id": 1015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "If our cellular aims should demand\nThat an RNA transcript be canned\nWe match U, A; G, C;\nAnd the message-to-be\nIs fast nulled by this antisense strand.", "id": 1016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I attempted to act advantageously,\nAnd bettered my lot quite courageously.\n Being opportunistic\n Has been my heuristic,\nThough some say I've done so outrageously.", "id": 1017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "My air-cushion vehicle squeals\nAt a pitch that stuns elephant seals.\nIt's encrusted with rust.\nLevel ground is a must,\nAnd to boot: Bloody thing's full of eels.", "id": 1018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "From chemicals don't expect progeny,\nUnless you accept abiogeny,\nRegarding which, saints\nWould voice some complaints,\nBut atheists never would lodge any.", "id": 1019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My knowledge of female anatomy,\nIts sinews and veins, doesn't flatter me.\nWhen I press the wrong nerve\nWith libidinous verve,\nMy wife shouts out, \"Ouch! Don't do that to me!\"", "id": 1020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Making rainbows?  Now that's pretty bright.\nYou've arrayed all the colors in white.\nYou can't do that with air\nWithout moisture in there;\nAir's aclastic: it won't refract light.", "id": 1021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Since mandrite is translated monk,\nArchimandrite, as we might have thunk,\nMeans the Peter or Paul\nWho's in charge of them all\nAnd unorthodox views must debunk.", "id": 1022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "She lay on the sheets and said sensually,\n\"Come talk to me sexy in French, Uli.\"\nSuch a talented man\u2014\nHe's a tongue with a tan:\nAccomplished in bed and accentually.", "id": 1023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "My pastor (a Baptist) would say,\nOf characters least recherch\u00e9,\n\"Those poor old lapsed clerics\nChant alphanumerics\n(That's letters and numbers) to pray.\"", "id": 1024, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "High oration, that is the term:\nThis altiloquence makes a man squirm;\nSo when hard a golf club ya\nSwing at balls like G Dubya,\nJust ignore the prov'd truth and stay firm.", "id": 1025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Honor acotyledonous stuff:\nThough sans seed-lobes, they breed well enough.\nThis botanical name\nApplies all the same\nTo a fern, or a moss, in the rough.", "id": 1026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The editor's great agitation\nResulted from poor pagination.\nHissed he to the printer,\n\"This journal you splinter!\nHow irksome! What miscorrelation!\"", "id": 1027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Aphonia's the loss of one's voice,\nTo a whisper, below a Rolls-Royce.\nIt would be very nice\nIf that awful Posh Spice\nWould contract it, and then I'd rejoice!", "id": 1028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "Amberina is glassware of old\n(Nineteenth century, U.S., I'm told)\nThat graduates to\nA ruby-red hue\nFrom a warm yellow amberish-gold.", "id": 1029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The National Gallery of Art\nIs a place rather close to my heart.\nThere are Rembrandts to see,\nAnd admission is free \u2014\nSo skinflindts can go, for a start.", "id": 1030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some housekeepers, out to impress,\nWill actively clean up a mess:\nThey'll grab mop and bucket\nAnd start to de-muck it.\nThere's nothing I'd rather do less.", "id": 1031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I propose that we all say finito\nTo premature \"words.\" Akihito?\nThe name of Japan's\nCurrent Emperor? Man!\nTime for etymological veto.", "id": 1032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Competing in folk dance and limbo,\nA gigolo elbowed his bimbo,\n\"The jig's up; so don't wilt,\nLike me in my kilt.\nGet those hands on your hips, arms akimbo.\"", "id": 1033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "That Gallagher acts like a fool.\nHe smashes large fruits on a stool!\nAnd, as always, he brings\nHis bizarre goofy things.\nAbsurdness! That's his golden rule.", "id": 1034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Acquitting defendants is tough\nWhen evidence shows that they're rough.\nBut if you find out\nThere's good reason to doubt,\nFor acquittal, that's more than enough.", "id": 1036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I once built a castle creation\nIn Maui, while off on vacation.\n'Twas heaped up by hand,\nThis big pile of sand\u2014\nAn example of true aggeration.", "id": 1037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Young Stacy, her first term in school,\nThought that giving a class speech was cool.\nYet she stood there, aghast,\nAs the minutes ticked past:\nFor she saw in each seat sat a ghoul.", "id": 1038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "We need extra beams for our fort;\nThe strength of our walls still falls short.\nBring some more over here!\nLike your basic brassiere,\nIt is all about added support.", "id": 1039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Your nostrils have long flowing hair,\nAnd your left middle finger ain't there.\nYou have two extra toes,\nAnd I'm betting that those\nAbnormalities make people stare.", "id": 1040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Its wiggly bright fronds standing straight,\nThe anglerfish, sly, lies in wait.\nThis method enables\nA turning of tables:\nA fish using worms as its bait.", "id": 1041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I've been cursed since my days in the womb,\nFor one day I'll end up in a tomb.\nYes, indeed, I shall die,\nLike everyone. My\nAccursedness? Simply my doom.", "id": 1042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The women will think you're a whiz.\nApr\u00e8s-d\u00eener, dessert will be Ms.\nUsing French as a draw?\nYou've a big je ne sais quoi \u2014\nBut I really can't say what that is.", "id": 1043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To be born to the manner's a boon.\nIn your mouth is a silvery spoon.\nWhile you're still in a diaper,\nLet dad pay the piper.\nThe advantage is you call the tune.", "id": 1044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Accumbent, the Romans would dine;\nRelaxed, on their hips, they'd recline.\nThey also were found\nTo fiddle around,\nAnd in that case, they could be supine.", "id": 1045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "An abanga's a West Indian palm,\nWhose seeds can a sore chest becalm.\nIf it doesn't restore\nYour health like before,\nYou might try perusing a psalm.", "id": 1046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The asthenosphere really is not\nAn inviting or welcoming spot,\nFor it's frightfully deep\n('Nuff to make the skin creep)\nAnd the climate's oppressively hot.", "id": 1047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Abimelech's three kings or four.\n(It's hard to be sure. Maybe more.)\nOne more Biblical name\nOf no noteworthy fame.\nAnd rhyming them all? Quite a chore!", "id": 1048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "On the 9th: said the renter, \"My word!\"\nWhen his landlord's complaint he had heard.\n\"Yes, I sent it, don't doubt!\"\nThen he mailed his rent out\nAs a check, antedated the 3rd.", "id": 1049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "An overly skinny girl, Kate,\nWas dismayed when her \"monthly\" was late,\n'Cause of amenorrhea,\nWhen menses says, \"See ya!\nI'll be back when you've put on some weight!\"", "id": 1050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My favorite show has an airtime\nCoinciding with washing-my-hair time.\nWith tow'l on my head...\nA TV by my bed...\nI enjoy goofing off in my spare time.", "id": 1051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My mom had a penchant linguistic,\nFor short witty maxims simplistic.\nShe'd serve up a sermon\nIn tones like Ms. Merman,\nIn one single phrase aphoristic.", "id": 1052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When the MiG is at five o'clock high\nAnd you need it shot out of the sky,\nAs you sight through your scope,\nPray your wingman can cope\nWith an analog clock \u2014 or you'll die.", "id": 1053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "My grandmother's praise is effusive,\nBut often extremely allusive.\nEach time she commends,\nHer compliment ends\nWith reference to writers exclusive.", "id": 1054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "I'm watching you tie up your lace.\nYou linger and occupy space.\nClear this passage for feet \u2014\nLet me get to my seat.\nThe aisleway isn't the place!", "id": 1055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "peebs", "limerick": "I once saw my brother, named Ty,\nWith his arms 'round a girl and a guy.\nHe both of them kissed;\nI saw neither resist,\nAnd so now I assume that he's bi.", "id": 1056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An archive is storage for stuff\nOf which collectors have seldom enough.\nMine's full of old bones,\nSome very old scones,\nAnd a bunch of dust bunnies and fluff.", "id": 1057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "They say that I'm anal retentive.\nI'd say that I've got an incentive.\nI tend to be careful,\nSometimes even prayerful,\nMy caution a darn good preventive.", "id": 1058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "At my first and my final arraignment,\nThe judge ruled for penal containment.\nI'm now here in jail,\nNot wagging my tail.\nI don't find this cell entertainment.", "id": 1059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Water, in Spanish, is agua.\nWhere, you ask?  Why, in Managua.\nBut who 'mongst you crowed,\n\"Agua's also a toad!\"?\n(One just clambered aboard your piragua.)", "id": 1060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I think we're all anglophones here,\nBut with varying skill, 'twould appear \u2014\nSome better, some worse,\nSome speak it in verse.\nFor the best, it becomes their career.", "id": 1061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My Mom has an armload of sheets.\nI wish that instead she held treats.\nClean bedding is swell,\nBut it lacks that sweet smell\nOf a doggie dish filled with fine meats.", "id": 1062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm attracted by affluence, which\nOffers fortune, possessions, a niche\nTo indulge every whim,\nAs though wealthy and slim.\nYou just can't be too thin or too rich.", "id": 1063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Presenting a topic arcane\nIs always a bit of a strain.\nTo convey what's obscure\nIs a pain, to be sure.\nI'd abstain, but my brain is too vain.", "id": 1064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "By her suitor the woman was charmed,\nBut was fearful the man might be armed.\nWas he totin' a gun,\nOr just lookin' for fun?\nShould this girl be aroused or alarmed?", "id": 1065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "An arbiter thinks it's a hoot\nTo settle a raging dispute.\nThough he charges a lot\n(Happy outcome or not),\nArbitration beats filing a suit.", "id": 1066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Our model was striking a pose,\nEnhanced by the absence of clothes.\nI chose to suppose\nThat she knows there are those\nTrying not to expose what arose.", "id": 1067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Bourke", "limerick": "An aperture is a small hole\nIn a camera, the \"stop\" its control.\nThe more light revealed,\nThe less depth of field.\nGet it right, or you'll waste the whole roll.", "id": 1068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Insanity? Heaven forfend.\nBut alas, it's no use to pretend.\nWhat was sheer intellect\nHas been totally wrecked.\nI'm afraid he's gone right 'round the bend.", "id": 1069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "An architect plans what to build;\nDevelopers' hopes are fulfilled.\nThe blueprint's his tool;\nHe can't be a fool,\nOr clients of his could be killed!", "id": 1070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I'm hating this coffee I got;\nGourmet it distinctly is not.\nFrom its flavor I'd flee\nBut I hope it will be\nAnaleptic, 'cause that hits the spot!", "id": 1071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Some people with no sense of fun\nRate the limerick low, with the pun,\nAnd are even annoyed\nAt \"aesthetically void\"\nBits of dogg'rel like this one, now done.", "id": 1072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Anglocentrism's likely effects\nWould be these: in so many respects\nBlair would do his own thing\u2014\nNot be led on a string\nBy a cowboy from Crawford, TX.", "id": 1073, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "They asked if I'd come for a ride.\nAloofly, I waved them aside.\n\"I'm feeding my brain,\"\nI said with disdain.\nBut now I wish I had complied.", "id": 1074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "It's sufficient to make one neurotic,\nHow our skies fill with compounds exotic.\nThey affect me and you\nAnd the animals too\u2014\nWhat a pity we're aerobiotic.", "id": 1075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Artificial \u2014 not natural or real,\nLike a flower that's made out of steel.\nOr Terylene slacks,\nOr fruit made from wax,\nOr some restaurant chain's hamburger meal.", "id": 1076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What a beautiful  bird is Ajaia,\nLovely daughter of Earth Mother Gaia,\nOf roseate hue \u2014\nIt's a spoonbill to you \u2014\nFound in mangrove but not Himalaya.", "id": 1077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With its twistings and turnings severe,\nAn anfractuous road causes fear\nFor a driver who's stuck\nIn a twenty-ton truck\nWith a wheel that refuses to steer.", "id": 1078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "In the days of acclaimed olden Greece,\nJason tracked down the famed Golden Fleece\nIn the good ship called Argo,\nWhich spoke and sailed cargo;\nShear myth! Think it true, or caprice?", "id": 1079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My sweetheart was pious and charming,\nThough at times she could be quite alarming.\nShe'd hack off upper limbs\nWhile singing sweet hymns,\nThus we all found her rather disarming.", "id": 1080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "Two DUMs and a da in the middle\u2014\nWith this metrical foot I must fiddle.\nPretend the weak stress\nIs the stronger, and, yes,\nAmphimacer will fit in my riddle.", "id": 1081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though you took a bad fall off a wall,\nBroke your leg, had to crawl through a squall,\nThen got mauled by a hound\u2014\nThere's a dime on the ground.\nSee, today's not so bad, all in all.", "id": 1082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "There once was a lass with a curse:\nTo define many words, all in verse,\nThen embellish each one\nWith a chuckle or pun\u2014\nAnd in all of five lines!  (Now that's terse.)", "id": 1083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My dinner for two? A fiasco!\nThe lilies I picked (atamasco)\u2014\nAll purple and white,\nA most beautiful sight!\u2014\nWere consumed by my date, with tabasco.", "id": 1084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The tiniest bit's all but none;\n.9998's all but one.\nYou're all but annoyed\nAnd would like to avoid\nAny more?  Well, we're now all but done.", "id": 1085, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The people who live in Albania\nAre often enthralled by a mania:\nThey wish that their land\nCould be covered with sand,\nOr else part of remote Oceania.", "id": 1086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your major is now angelology?\nAn int'resting branch of theology.\nJust how many can spin\nOn the head of a pin?\nHad to ask\u2014please accept my apology.", "id": 1087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "A friendly attorney-at-law\nHelped my neighbours to settle a score:\nWhen his spiralling fees\nLeft them both on their knees,\nThey agreed they would quarrel no more.", "id": 1088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Lone Ranger spent summers abask\nIn the sun, leading Tonto to ask,\n\"Kemosabe: skin cancer?\"\nTo which he did answer,\n\"Don't worry\u2014I'm wearing my mask!\"", "id": 1089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though amoebas inside may offend,\nOur amoebocytes help to defend.\nThey're our blood cells in white\nAnd intruders they fight\u2014\nBut just how do they tell foe from friend?", "id": 1090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Although picking the good words can please,\nAn alternative way to write these\nIs to choose one in three;\nOr alternatively,\nYou could head out and take in the breeze.", "id": 1091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Scratch my back, Doc,\" Al asked Dr. Coombs,\nSo his allergen's pegged, Al assumes.\nWell, Doc did, but Al's itch\nHad just one little glitch:\nAl's allergy? Allergists' rooms.", "id": 1092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "My alogical world-view's a winner.\nThere's no logic to faze the beginner.\nIf I throw in enough\nVague untestable stuff,\nIt'll eat your dull science for dinner.", "id": 1093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Not all things take regular form:\nSome you think will be hot can be warm.\nThe everyday stuff\nIs familiar enough,\nBut atypical things aren't the norm.", "id": 1094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a function word, common in chat:\n\"At work,\" \"at the pub,\" \"at my flat.\"\nThanks to email and text,\nWe'll be writing \"@\" next...\nim not suR wot 2 think about that.", "id": 1095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An affluent man of great wealth\nOnce diverted the sewers by stealth,\nOn the self-centred grounds\n(Not as rich as it sounds)\nThat effluent's bad for the health.", "id": 1096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Across-the-board changes are those\nThat overcome all of their foes,\nAnd remove every shred,\nFrom A through to Z,\nOf everything everyone knows.", "id": 1097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Turn apprentice \u2014 it's one way to learn,\nAnd while you are learning you earn.\nBut don't be a chump\nAnd work for D. Trump \u2014\nMickey Mouse got a better return.", "id": 1098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My pistol is loaded with ammo.\nI could blow you away \u2014 simply whammo!\nSo doctor, take care,\nAnd be fully aware\nThat my least favorite -gram is the mammo-.", "id": 1099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My chair sports an antimacassar.\nI learned about these while at Vassar.\nThough now out of style,\nThey once earned a smile\nFrom the likes of Gamal Abdel Nasser.", "id": 1100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I went to apply for a job,\nStripping kernels of corn off the cob.\nWith each passing ear,\nIt grew ever more clear\nI'd become one of Les Miserables.", "id": 1101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have an appendage, I learned.\nIt's something I just now discerned.\nMom says it's a \"tail.\"\nNo way it's for sale.\nIts owner might want it returned.", "id": 1102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The apple-cheeked boy with a grin\nHad bright eyes and a sweet dimpled chin,\nWith a rounded pink face\nNorman Rockwell would place\nIn a painting of Mark Twain's \"Huck Finn.\"", "id": 1103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Who cares if they're odd or tongue-twistery?\nArchaisms add to the mystery\nOf English, say I.\nThou wouldst banish them? Fie!\nAnd gadzooks! Hast thou no sense of history?", "id": 1104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A burglar in Rome filled his bag\nWith a surfeit of silvery swag.\n\"All the aurum's a bore,\nBut I simply adore\nThe argentum (in shorter form, Ag).\"", "id": 1105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Shop at Bang-Mart, for shooters real fine!\nIt's the one with a piece on the sign.\nPre-owned bullets, ten cents;\nAnd for cut-price defense,\nThere's assault rifles, $9.99.", "id": 1106, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Lone Ranger peered over the brow\nOf the cliff, and when Tonto asked, \"How?\"\nSaid, \"I should've yelled whoa!\nBut the canyon below...\nWell, it's all argentiferous now.\"", "id": 1107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In Bayeux, the museum has stacks on\nThe fate of the brave Anglo-Saxon:\nHow Harold was killed,\nAnd the future was Willed.\nThe tapestry has all the facts on.", "id": 1108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A Mayan tattooist might start\nWith prayers to this god of his art.\nHe then will begin\nBy breaking the skin\nAnd inking a bare body part.", "id": 1109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The fresh water fish called the bleak\n(Or ablen) is what you should seek,\nBecause counterfeit pearls\nFor impressing the girls\nCan come from its scales by technique.", "id": 1110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Absolving was what he eschewed.\nHe was loud and abusive and rude.\n\"There'll be hell to pay\nIf I have my way!\nAnd somebody's gonna get sued!\"", "id": 1111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Anyways,\" says the Cap'n, \"Right now,\nI'll be headin' some place 'round Macau.\nLong as no-one objects,\nWe'll be goin' there next,\nAnywheres, anywise, anyhow.\"", "id": 1112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An annalist shouldn't tell lies,\nJust write what she sees with her eyes\nOr hears with her ears.\nIf she's lucky, then years\nAnd years later, her annals we'll prize.", "id": 1113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A factor that's not sympathetic\nTo salt in your pee is poetic.\nIt regulates flow\nAnd keeps blood pressure low:\nIt's called atrial natriuretic.", "id": 1114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You're obsessed with the tallest of tall\nAnd won't rest 'til you've conquered them all?\nAlpinism's no joke:\nIt may well leave you broke\nOr else broken, if ever you fall.", "id": 1115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Write allantoin down, if you would:\nIt helps wounds that don't heal as they should.\nIt's an oxidized mix;\nIt goes: C4H6,\nThen: N4 and O3.  Got it?  Good.", "id": 1116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The chapel was dingy and dismal;\nThe service, no less than abysmal.\nThe food, far from fine:\nJust some wafers with wine;\nAnd the water they served was baptismal.", "id": 1117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When naming the aberdevine,\nIt's siskin that birders assign.\nI think the word finch\nMight suffice in a pinch,\nAnd I've heard even bird would be fine.", "id": 1118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Able abacists add using balls\nWith a deftness that simply enthralls.\nTheir demeanor grows solemn\nO'er the ones or tens column...\n\"The sum!\" then resounds through the halls.", "id": 1119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The word aardvark is Dutch for \"earth pig.\"\nMost pigs, though, have noses less big.\nSo when seeking ants out,\nIt makes use of its snout.\nDoing elsewise would be infra dig.", "id": 1120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The artful accountant was pliable;\nHis balances, unverifiable.\nWhen auditors looked\nAt the books he had cooked,\nHe was found to be legally liable.", "id": 1123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The drug amphotericin B\nIs used to kill fungus, you see.\nThis antibiotic\nIs far from exotic\u2014\nIt's seen late at night on TV.", "id": 1124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Fearsome Argus, more watchful than wise,\nFell to Hermes, and on his demise\nFully fowl-ly his fame went:\nTo pheasants his name went;\nTo peacocks, his dozens of eyes.", "id": 1125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "For their lords, in a grand Roman villa,\nSlaved a servus and female ancilla.\nNow that girl lends her title\nTo aids that give vital\nSupport (her one remnant scintilla).", "id": 1126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "An ascot's a type of cravat \u2014\nA tie, that is \u2014 worn with a hat,\nWaistcoat, trousers, and tails\nBy the finest-dressed males\nWith whom 'Liza at Ascot did chat.", "id": 1127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Reproduction is fun, you'll agree;\nThat is, if you're a bird or a bee.\nBut some plants replicate\nWithout finding a mate.\nYes, they do it asexually.", "id": 1128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm sick of your arrogant attitude:\nYou never display any gratitude.\nYou yea and you nay\nAnd demand your own way,\nWhile I long, night and day, for some latitude.", "id": 1129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When a substance diffuses, the flow\nGoes from high concentration to low.\nTo reverse that descent\nTakes some energy spent:\nActive transport entails quid pro quo.", "id": 1130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though the baker put on a good show\nTossing disks made of raw pizza dough,\nStill, a pie plate's the thing\nFor a long-distance fling:\nBetter aerodynamics, you know.", "id": 1131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "At school I went out for athletics.\nMy parents preferred cybernetics,\nSo I studied kinetics\nTo please those ascetics\u2014\nBut I question our common genetics.", "id": 1132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "King Philip the Second of Spain\nSent his ships off to England to gain\nBoth its crown and its land;\nThe Armada, though grand,\nFound the target too hard to attain.", "id": 1133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "\"Atomic piles?\" asked the prof.  \"What are these?\"\nOne student arose, at his ease.\n\"I think,\" he said lightly,\n\"If I have it rightly\u2014\nNew forms of an age-old disease.\"", "id": 1134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The Airstream's a trailer of fame\nWith streamlined design (hence the name).\nO'er highways bituminous\nFly these aluminous\nApterous craft, all the same.", "id": 1135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "So I come to the word alkahestic,\nAnd see it's (thank God!) anapestic.\nThe solvent it names\nIs, by alchemists' claims,\nUniversal and therefore majestic.", "id": 1136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the British, the word's aluminium,\nWhich rhymes with the flower \"delphinium.\"\nIt's the metal we use\nIn our siding and screws;\nThere's a lot in my new condominium.", "id": 1137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Any actor might well tip his cap\nTo Lloyd, who learns lines in a snap,\nBut his sons Jeff and Beau\nAre a little bit slow,\nSo it's daddy who bridges the gap.", "id": 1138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A gypsy assumes the name Bootsie\nWhen tipsy on wine from Abruzzi.\nShe becomes a \"celeb,\"\nA society deb.\nHer vino persona is cutesy.", "id": 1139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Assyrian's bad catatonia\nGot worse with his double pneumonia.\nFeeling overly spent,\nOff to Akkad he went\nFor treatment in North Babylonia.", "id": 1140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acceptor's the one to arrange\nFor an order or bill of exchange\nTo officially weigh\nAs a promise to pay.\nTo me this is all very strange.", "id": 1141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A particular kind of accrual\nCan be used in your pension pursual.\nToday you can borrow\nFor the costs of tomorrow.\nEach year there will be a renewal.", "id": 1142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are women who hope to impress\nWhen they add this or that to their dress.\nThey're accessorized then,\nEven though they know men\nLike it more when they wear even less.", "id": 1143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The flowering herb by that tree\nKinda looks like a monkshood to me.\nIt has aconite, which\nCan alleviate itch\nAnd ensure you're insomnia-free.", "id": 1144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "\"The heck with Iraq and pollution.\nOur problem's this gay revolution!\nThey want to be wed,\"\nThe President said,\n\"Let's amend the U.S. Constitution!\"", "id": 1145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a cellular protein to act,\nMake your deltoids or sphincter contract.\nIf you're squeezin' your pecs,\nHavin' quadriceps flex,\nThen it's actin that's actin', in fact.", "id": 1146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a new photochemical shop\nWhere the chemists and physicists stop.\nThey sell instruments which\nMeasure light with a switch:\nActinometers, ten bucks a pop.", "id": 1147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The adder's a kind of a viper,\nA terrestrial, venomous sniper.\nBut an adder can be\nOne who tots up your fee,\nSo with either you might pay the piper.", "id": 1148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My advisor gives counsel to me,\nSo in turn, I'm this guy's advisee.\nHe apprises and warns,\n\"Take the bull by the horns.\"\nAt least on the bull we agree.", "id": 1149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An epiphyte grows on a fern,\nSo for nutrients oddly will turn\nTo the air all around,\nNot the earth or the ground.\nSo this air plant's a growing concern.", "id": 1150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a sauce that's so good it's a crime.\nThere is sage, coriander, and thyme.\nOlive oil is the base;\nLemon juice has a place.\n\u00c0 la grecque makes your dishes sublime.", "id": 1151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some Israelis are seen in this port\nOn vacation, relaxing; in short,\nIn the sad Middle East\nThere is peace here, at least,\nIn Aqaba, Jordan's resort.", "id": 1152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From Greenwich you're nine hours west,\nSo it's earlier, meaning you rest\nWhen the English eat lunch.\nThen they sleep when you munch.\nWho's to say if Alaska time's best?", "id": 1153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My urine is cloudy and white;\nIt's albuminuria, right?\nI seem fit as you please,\nBut this kidney disease\nHas me up at all hours of the night.", "id": 1154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The attention I got for my dance,\nI assure you, was not due to chance,\nNor my drunk serenade\nTo the lamp and its shade.\n'Twas because I'd forgotten my pants.", "id": 1155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They've challenged the justification\nFor my college's accreditation.\nI surfed as a soph,\nTook my junior year off,\nAnd then majored in Summer Vacation.", "id": 1156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some males who are alpha appear\nTo lead by derision and fear.\nThere's Ashcroft and Donald,\nAnd Dubya and Ahnold.\nWe girlie men bring up the rear.", "id": 1157, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The arsis, in metrical feet,\nIs a long or a short kind of beat.\nIt goes either way.\nRather risky, I'd say.\nAnd its plural is quite indiscreet.", "id": 1158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The city of Accra's not far\nFrom the country we call C\u00f4te d'Ivoire.\nBut this port is in Ghana\n(Gold Coast, if you wanna);\nUse English when at the bazaar.", "id": 1159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C Wayne R", "limerick": "Her job's to allure the new guest\nDown the alure, an alley at best.\nWhat goes on in there,\nWith ghosts in the air,\nPuts the strongest of hearts to the test.", "id": 1160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In teaching your masculine progeny\nTo steer their way clear of misogyny,\nYou guide them to pride\nIn their feminine side.\nKeep it light or they might try androgyny.", "id": 1161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My grandmother managed to slip\nAnd fracture a bone in her hip.\nAcetabulums make\nAn elaborate break:\nThere's a socket, a ball, and a chip.", "id": 1162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're sick and you think it's a bug,\nBut you're swollen and feel like a slug,\nAnd you can't take a leak\nAnd your ticker is weak,\nTake an acetazolamide drug.", "id": 1163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These ros\u00e9s seem unfit for libation.\nTheir bouquets scream acetification.\nThat's when wine has a nose\nIn which vinegar shows.\nIt's the sin, I suppose, of aeration.", "id": 1164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Author Erich Maria was dark,\nAnd by nature acerbic and stark.\nWhen he wanted, he'd write\nWith acidulous bite,\nThus defining the cutting Remarque.", "id": 1165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A word meaning \"chilled\" is acold.\nYou can read it in Keats, so I'm told.\nAnd it's said to appear\nIn a play about Lear\nAnd in books that are covered in mold.", "id": 1166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This sausage is smoky and chewy,\nAdds spice to a bland ratatouille.\nBut it's made out of pork,\nSo put down that fork.\nIt's not kosher to nosh on andouille.", "id": 1167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The number I chose was generic:\nA birth date, not too esoteric.\nThey hacked it and left.\n'Twas identity theft.\nMy PIN shoulda been alphameric.", "id": 1168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When we call someone \"Judas\" we claim\nHe's a traitor. (They're one and the same.)\nSo don't let it faze ya.\nIn antonomasia\nThe class is implied by a name.", "id": 1169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With anagrams, fun is in store.\nThey disclose what is hidden\u2014and more.\n\"George Bush\" is a name\nWhere the letters seem tame,\nBut they also can spell \"He bugs Gore.\"", "id": 1170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Arithmetic's easy for me.\nI add 2 to a 7 and 3\nAnd get 12. It's a breeze.\nBut that algebra? Jeez!\nWhat's the sum of an x, y, and z?", "id": 1171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"C'est le vin that lends poison cachet,\"\nI was told by the head sommelier.\n\"For ze hemlock, Merlot.\nAnd for strychnine, Bordeaux.\nBut for arsenic, use a ros\u00e9.\"", "id": 1172, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For despots, well, anything goes.\nThey'll act as if nobody knows.\nOne strong absolutist\nIs also a nudist:\nThis Emperor doesn't wear clothes.", "id": 1173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a toast to the young arriviste\nWho's society's hottest artiste,\nSo nouveau and so riche\nThat he only eats quiche.\nAll the fries and the burgers have ceased.", "id": 1174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the south of the country Albania\nIs a region of Greece, Acarnania.\nIt's noted for wine,\nThe fruit of the vine,\nAnd its common effect: dipsomania.", "id": 1175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some chemicals kill by the gram,\nBut they're rare, I declare, where I am.\nAcetaldehyde, though,\nIs a compound I know.\nIt's a liquor derivative\u2014damn!", "id": 1176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For the liver a choline's essential.\nWith acetyl-, it's more influential:\nIt helps your synapses\nAnd obviates lapses\nIn coverage you have with Prudential.", "id": 1177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An achene is a one-seeded fruit,\nIndehiscent and arid, to boot.\nYou may spot one nearby\nIf you have \"achene\" eye,\nAre attentive, alert, and astute.", "id": 1178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cop in a Rio cantina\nServes an Amazon gal a subpoena.\nWhen she lets out a roar,\nHe bolts for the door,\nFor hell hath no fury like Xena.", "id": 1179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My gallbladder leaked for awhile,\nWith a duct oozing venomous bile.\n'Twas a terrible thing\u2014\nHad my acinus sling.\n(That's a sac whose secretions are vile.)", "id": 1180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Second Amendment so scares\nThe hell out of liberal confr\u00e8res\nThat the ACLU\nWould rather its crew\nWere defending the right to arm bears.", "id": 1181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A madeleine broken in pieces\nAnd dipped in a teacup releases\nRemembrances of\nTemps perdu and a love.\nSo we learn from a Proust anamnesis.", "id": 1182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Just a pitiful, few-feathered thing,\nAn alula's not quite a wing.\nIt's more like a thumb,\nCalled a bastard by some,\nWhich has an unfortunate ring.", "id": 1183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An ambulance chaser's a lawyer.\nAt accident scenes he's no voyeur.\nHe'll rush to your aid\nAnd you both will get paid.\nDewey, Cheatum, & Howe's his employer.", "id": 1184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The ai is a triple-toed sloth\nWho hangs on a branch like a moth.\nHe's hairy and slow,\nWith no get-up-and-go,\nLike the jerk I agreed to betroth.", "id": 1185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Highlander had a bad vibe\nWhen the Borneans started to gibe.\nThen out came the pot\nAnd in went the Scot.\n'Twas a cruel anthropophagous tribe.", "id": 1186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The anacoluthon explains\nHow a sentence's syntax, like trains,\nIs derailed, in a shift\nMore abrupt than a drift.\nIt's a break in\u2014well, just use your brains.", "id": 1187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You took a big knock to the head.\nYou're lucky you're here and not dead.\nEven better for me,\nIt's amnesia (tee-hee!).\nYou've forgotten the bad things I said.", "id": 1188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Eden the fruit of the tree\nIs as tempting as any can be.\nBut a taste of delight\nLeads to bite after bite\n'Til there isn't an apple to see.", "id": 1189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's amiss (\"not according to Hoyle\"),\nBut in Brooklyn there once was a goil\nWho finished a bris\nJust to demonstrate this:\nThat a miss is as good as a mohel.", "id": 1190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We heard you been dealin' in booze\nOn our turf, so we bring you some news.\nThe Don don't approve,\nSays he likes you should move.\nThat's an offer you cannot refuse.", "id": 1191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A house is a prime acquisition\n(And a mortgage a major ambition)\nThat people who rent\nShould have every intent\nTo pursue till it comes to fruition.", "id": 1192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your insurance can lose all its luster\nWhen your policy doesn't pass muster:\nYour house is destroyed\nBy Hurricane Floyd,\nAnd Prudential won't send an adjuster.", "id": 1193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My shrink says I'm back in the saddle;\nHis \"inferior\" talk, though, can addle.\nIts Adlerian hue\nHas me in a canoe,\nUp a creek, and without any paddle.", "id": 1194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're mindful of where you are going,\nConsider the way the wind's blowing,\nTake care, and pay heed\nTo the things that you need,\nIt is then you're advertent and knowing.", "id": 1195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the menu you find even rice\nHas its own individual price.\nWhen the food's \u00e0 la carte,\nPay attention, be smart.\nThe basmati's expensive but nice.", "id": 1196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm an Asian-American guy;\nJust an average student am I\u2014\nNot the stereotype\nThat the media hype,\nFor whom math is as easy as pi.", "id": 1197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Wahhabi madrassah in Aden\nInculcates the poor and downtrodden.\nThe students who best\nSpew hate for the West\nGet to graduate summa cum Laden.", "id": 1198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Afghan who lives in Kabul\nKeeps a twenty-inch beard as a rule.\n\"If the Taliban like,\nI will wear a Vandyke,\nA goatee, or a tail like a mule.\"", "id": 1199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Americans call it aluminum,\nMetal so soft that a human, um,\nMolds it too thin\nAnd the noises come in.\nWill somebody please stop that bloomin' hum?", "id": 1200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a task that can torment and harrow:\nDemonstrating (in lyric) the arrow.\nBut this limerick-weary\nOld poet won't veer, he\nWill steer on the straight and the narrow.", "id": 1202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though food is her only delight,\nShe never takes more than a bite.\nHer tastes are eclectic,\nBut she's anorectic.\nToo bad she'll soon vanish from sight.", "id": 1203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acrylate's made of acrylic\u2014\nWith this acid, don't act imbecilic.\nIt's a resin, a plastic,\nAnd glassy, elastic.\nIts properties make life idyllic.", "id": 1204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a fungus among us, they say,\nAnd our fruit is now aecium's prey.\nIts binucleate spores\nBurrow into the cores.\nGuess I won't have an apple today.", "id": 1214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Elipandus, a bishop, was one\nWho once stunned with a theory he spun.\nHis adoptionist view\nHeld that Jesus, a Jew,\nWas adopted by God as a son.", "id": 1215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The acid they call hydrochloric\nIs gone from my gut; I'm dysphoric.\nAchlorhydria means\nPoor digestion for beans.\nI still poot, and I'm still sophomoric.", "id": 1216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Pillars of Hercules stand\nOn Europe's and Africa's land.\nThey are Abila's peak,\nOf which ancients did speak,\nAnd Gibraltar, a Rock that is grand.", "id": 1219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The schoolboy in England is taught\nTo recite all the monarchs and ought\nTo be able to name\nAny sovereign claim\nOr royal accession that's sought.", "id": 1220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are adamance, adaman-cy,\nAdamantine, and adamant-ly.\nTheir root is a word\n(From the Greek, I have heard)\nMeaning metal that's hard as can be.", "id": 1221, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an advocate pleads any cause,\nHe occasionally clutches at straws.\nAn inferior sort\nIn superior court\nMay contort (that's his forte) silly laws.", "id": 1222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I tote up the women I've had,\nI start with my wife, then I add . . .\nUm, no other, my dear.\nThere's just you, and it's clear\nThat my aggregate's ONE. And I'm glad.", "id": 1223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a substance occurring in tar,\nThis acridine goes pretty far.\nIf you open your eyes,\nYou will see it in dyes\nAnd where'er pharmaceuticals are.", "id": 1224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To refer to the time in between\nTwo specific events, I have seen\nPeople using pro tem,\nBut consider this gem:\nAd interim says what you mean.", "id": 1225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With a fury your eyes are aglare\u2014\nIt's a bone-chilling, withering stare.\nThough Medusa was known\nTo turn people to stone,\nWith your look, love, she couldn't compare.", "id": 1226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When Athenians shop unawares\nIn the agora, nobody cares,\nBut be cautious if you\nAre a Smokey or Pooh,\nAnd beware of the Greeks grifting bears.", "id": 1227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Monsanto and Cargill and Dow\nTell our farmers, \"Now don't have a cow.\nAgrochemicals flow\nAnd our profits will grow,\nLike the crops from the land that you plow.\"", "id": 1228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Don't mention to Brits you're a clerk\nIn agro-industrial work,\nBecause aggro can speak\nOf a violent streak,\nAnd they'll worry you might go berserk.", "id": 1229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"As our animal scientists vouch,\nAn allantois forms as a pouch\nIn a mammal's placenta.\"\n(So says the yenta\nWho's sitting right here on my couch.)", "id": 1231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For my wedding, I plan to impress,\nWear a garment that sings of success.\nHere's an A-line, I'd say,\nThat should honor the day\nWhen I get a new name and a dress.", "id": 1232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A five-year-old tomboy and scamp\nTook gymnastics one year at a camp.\nOn the floor and the beam\nShe was living a dream:\nThe Olympic and all-around champ.", "id": 1233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I purchased this cool ATV,\nA vehicle neat as can be.\nIt allows me to drive\nOff the road and arrive\nWhile my friends are all stuck on Rte. 3.", "id": 1234, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These mountains that rise in the East\nGive Virginians a visual feast.\nAlleghenys amaze,\nAnd of those singing praise,\nYours truly is last but not least.", "id": 1235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Once a year I succumb to the urge\nTo extol Allegheny, the spurge.\nIt's a shrub sitting low\u2014\nA perennial\u2014slow\nTo advance and recede and resurge.", "id": 1236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife claims I've broken my pledge\nAnd alleges I'm over the edge.\nThough I promised to take\nA short limerick break,\nI'm still writing out here on a ledge.", "id": 1237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Need a hand or some aid for your cause?\nTry assistants who work without pause.\nEvery day 'til Noel,\nSanta's helpers excel.\nLet us praise the subordinate Claus!", "id": 1238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm afraid that the first time I doff\nMy pants, my new girlfriend will scoff.\nI'm concerned that she could\nLearn my leg's made of wood,\nAnd decide that she's breaking it off.", "id": 1239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an exorcist grants your request\nAnd adjures your demonical \"guest\"\nTo be off and away,\nThere's a bill you must pay\nOr you may just become repossessed.", "id": 1240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A soldier's accoutrements may\nInclude some equipment outr\u00e9,\nBeyond what he wears\nAnd the rifle he bears:\nFor instance, deodorant spray.", "id": 1241, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An albatross over the sail\nBetokens impending travail.\nThe source of this word\nIs a seafaring bird,\nThe alcatraz, just like the jail.", "id": 1243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Irishman wearing a kilt\nSlams a marathon runner full tilt.\nThe Paddy's beret\nAnd apparel outr\u00e9\nHelp to prove, in a fashion, his guilt.", "id": 1244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Said a fashion designer from France,\n\"I shall give these synthetics a chance.\"\nNow his closet is full\nNot of cotton or wool,\nBut of Acrilan sweaters and pants.", "id": 1246, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Although medics should use, as a rule,\nEvery drug in the kit, every tool,\nAcriflavine is one\nAntiseptic they shun.\n\"Yellow dye\" doesn't sound very cool.", "id": 1247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The kidneys we speak of as renal,\nWhile glands that are near are adrenal.\nLymphatics arise,\nAnd which one of these guys\nWill impress by its size? Well, the spleen'll.", "id": 1248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We turned woods into cotton and peas\nTo promote agricultural ease.\nNow we manage the land \u2014\nAgroforestry's planned\nSo that farmers can plant around trees.", "id": 1249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This continent's colorful scenes\nForm a palette of lushness in greens.\nI am Africa's fan.\nAs the birthplace of man,\nIt imbues every race with its genes.", "id": 1250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a river whose waters will wend\nFrom New York into Pittsburgh, my friend.\nThere it joins the Ohio,\nCompleting its bio.\nThe name's Allegheny. The End.", "id": 1251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My mother dropped strict fundamentalism\nWhen her guru embraced transcendentalism.\nHe said, \"Listen to this:\nLife is NOT hit-or-miss.\"\nShe exclaimed, \"You've defamed accidentalism!\"", "id": 1252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Paris the tarts hit the bricks\nFrom noon until just about six.\nAfternoon, they would say,\nIs midi through apr\u00e8s,\nAnd the time for p\u00e2tisserie tricks.", "id": 1253, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Doing acid on President's Day,\nA hippie was trippy till May.\nNow he always requests\nAcidimeter tests\nSo the dope doesn't blow him away.", "id": 1254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are worms who possess only tummies.\nThey inherited this from their mummies.\nEating food's all they do\nSo between me and you,\nThe acoelomates sure are no dummies!", "id": 1255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sentence begins on a track,\nBut suddenly changes its tack.\nSo let's put a sleuth on\nThis anacoluthon\nAnd\u2014whoa, get a load of that rack!", "id": 1256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Mark three from the end and you meet\nA syllable shy and discreet.\nIt hasn't much fame\nBut oh what a name!\nIt's the antepenultimate beat.", "id": 1257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For Dubya, it's \"\u00a1Hola!\" in Plano.\nIn Miami it's todo muy bueno.\nBut from Bush in Oswego\nYou won't hear \"amigo.\"\nHis Spanish will vanish like Drano.", "id": 1258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Greece there's a band named the \"Hicks\"\nThat Athenians quickly deep-six\nTo a river in Hades.\nNot Acheron, ladies,\nThe Hicks are now playing the Styx.", "id": 1259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm adept with a hammer and saw;\nElectricians all hold me in awe.\nWhen abuilding, I'm fleet.\nSee that 20-amp seat?\nIt's a chair for my mother-in-law.", "id": 1260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After Hoffa stops paying his dues,\nThe mob ships his body in shoes\nOf all-purpose cement\nTo a Meadowlands gent.\nIt's a Hoffa this guy can't refuse.", "id": 1261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "A dyslexic artiste from Chi-lung\nHad a mishap and severed his tongue.\nSo with reading a chore\nAnd performing no more,\nHe has mastered the art of Fu Kung.", "id": 1262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Paracelsus became overwrought\nAt the thought of the solvent he sought.\nHis objective involved\nAll that might be dissolved:\nBut the alkahest ended for naught.", "id": 1263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adventitia is tissue, like skin,\nWith nerves that are running within.\nIt's a coat on the wall\nOf a vein, that is all.\nLike the casing on sausage, it's thin.", "id": 1264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aeromedicine studies the pain\nAnd distress we endure on a plane\nAs we sit in a seat\nWhere we can't touch our feet.\n(I'm informed that no Munchkins complain.)", "id": 1265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a hunting dog, noted for wits,\nPretty furry, but not like a spitz.\nThis hound is a beaut\nAnd he's Afghan, to boot,\nSo I'm feeding him Kabuls 'n Bits.", "id": 1266, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since this house has a frame like an A,\nWe refer to its shape in that way.\nI don't know about you,\nBut a frame like a Q\nWould for me be askew and outr\u00e9.", "id": 1267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a trip to a region of Ghana,\nI collected some new Africana.\nOne document took\nAn unusual look\nAt liana that grows in Botswana.", "id": 1268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You can name all the mates in your crew,\nBut your age-mates are rarely in view.\nThey're all people on earth\nWith the same year of birth.\nFor 1901 there are few.", "id": 1269, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When employed in an agency shop,\nEven non-union workers can't stop\nBeing stuck paying dues\nThat the union can use\nTo remunerate guys at the top.", "id": 1270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "While in England consorting with fools,\nAgents-general serve as our tools\nFor ignoring a law\nThat might stick in our craw.\n'Tis Britannia waiving the rules.", "id": 1271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This agraphia's really a pain;\nI'd describe it but have to refrain.\nIt's a terrible plight:\nI'm unable to write.\nIf we talk, I'd be glad to explain.", "id": 1272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "What's the top-selling pop? It's a Coke.\nWhat's a rip-roaring quip? It's a joke.\nSo quickly, I beg:\nWhat's the white of an egg?\nIt's albumen. (I bet you said yolk.)", "id": 1273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "My inquisitive golden retriever\nKilled a beaver and now has a fever.\nSo I'm giving the bitch\nAcetanilid, which\nIs a fevered retriever reliever.", "id": 1274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The word acrocentric will kindle\nThe passion that started to dwindle\nFor the process mitosis,\nIts cousin meiosis,\nAnd a foreshortened chromosome spindle.", "id": 1276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This liquid acrolein stuff\nIs pungent and caustic enough\nTo remove all your skin\nIf a bit of it's in\nA pool where you swim in the buff.", "id": 1277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The spermatozoon's designed\nWith only one thing on its mind.\nThere's an acrosome snout\nFrom which enzymes will spout\nAnd invade all the ova they find.", "id": 1278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Add adreno- to corticotropic\nAnd then ACTH is the topic:\nThere's a hormone (arcane)\nAnd a gland in the brain\nWhose anterior lobe's microscopic.", "id": 1281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you dig in bituminous pitch,\nYou'll discover actinium, which\nIf you keep it for long\nWill indeed do you wrong,\nCuz it's radioactive\u2014a bitch!", "id": 1282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a mineral grayish and green\nWith a crystalline structure and sheen.\nAdd some methylene blue\nTo its silica hue\nAnd actinolite's aquamarine.", "id": 1283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are antibiotics galore,\nBut it's hard to know what they are for.\nI tried actinomycin\nTo clear up my lice 'n'\nNo dice, but I no longer snore!", "id": 1284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a lump in my throat as I speak\nI'm emotional, choked up, and weak.\nThe doc's diagnosis?\nActinomycosis.\nI'm up that proverbial creek.", "id": 1285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a radioactive device\nThat is actin' on volunteer mice.\nThey are isotope-stressed\nTo determine and test\nIf this actinon's naughty or nice.", "id": 1286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're bored and you wanna get out\nAnd excitement is what you're about,\nTake your wife on a date\nTo an actioner, mate.\nAs for sex, you'll be goin' without.", "id": 1287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're quiet, immobile, and still,\nAnd you cannot be moved, if you will,\nThen you're actionless, so\nEven friends may not know\nIf you're dead or just over-the-hill.", "id": 1288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you activate something you might\nTurn it on, like an engine or light.\nOr for troops make it hard\n(Like the National Guard):\nCall 'em up, send 'em off, have 'em fight.", "id": 1289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I hear people demanding the right\nFor their mutts to have seats on a flight.\nI'm an acrophobe here\n(It's high places I fear),\nSo I don't have a dog in this fight.", "id": 1290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With a cause that engenders dispute,\nThere are people who holler and hoot.\nOver there is the one\nWho'll ensure it gets done.\nHe's the activist\u2014isn't he cute?", "id": 1291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A prof made a radical pass\nAt a lass in his chemistry class:\n\"That hydroxyl design\nAnd the acid are mine.\nSo's your acyl\u2014don't mean to be crass.\"", "id": 1292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Behind every action's a factor\nThat causes the act, the enactor.\nThe stager, engager.\nYou know him, I'd wager:\nThe mover and shaker\u2014the actor!", "id": 1293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The women who star in the flicks\nAre assertive and confident chicks.\nThey are actors today.\nThe word \"actress\"? Pass\u00e9.\nCall one that and you'll be in a fix.", "id": 1294, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I see, I use actual eyes.\nWhen I fib, I tell actual lies.\nNow I ought to reveal\nFor a thought to be real,\nIt is then that I actualize.", "id": 1295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're keen and alert and astute,\nWith perception that's truly acute,\nThen acumen is what\nI would say that you've got,\nAnd as attributes go, that's a beaut!", "id": 1296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Allow copper its pros and its cons,\nBut its use as a tool corresponds\nTo a period mythic:\nThe Aeneolithic,\nWhich led to the age we call Bronze.", "id": 1297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My acyclovir regimen's why\nI am holding this knife to my guy.\nThe sniveling twerp, he's\nThe source of my herpes.\nI want more than an eye for an eye.", "id": 1298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To actuate means \"put in motion,\"\nLike starting this verse (I've a notion)\nAnd pushing it on\n'Til it's weary and wan\nAnd is happy to drown in the ocean.", "id": 1299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My doctor is Vinnie Boombatz, who\nWas schooled on the island of Matsu.\nThis certified quack\nIs now cracking my back\nWith massage, acupressure, shiatsu.", "id": 1300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a leaf has a point at its tip,\nIt's acuminate. Now you are hip\nTo its Latinate root,\nAnd you'll notice, to boot,\nWith acumen you're sharp as a whip.", "id": 1301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're seeking a rhyme for Nebraska,\nYou're giving yourself quite a task\u2014a\nNice test whose solution's\n(Think Juneau, Aleutians)\nOur forty-ninth state: It's Alaska!", "id": 1302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With its adeno- prefix, it may\nBe a bad carcinoma, they say.\nMy gland has a tumor.\nMalignant? A doomer?\nI think I'll quit early today.", "id": 1303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An adenoviral catarrh\nMakes mucus so thick it's bizarre.\nThere's a clog in your nose\nAnd the snot barely flows.\nYou can blow it, but not very far.", "id": 1304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The penguin's a wonderful thing,\nBe it emperor, gentoo, or king.\nAnd the smallish Ad\u00e9lie,\nThe one who moves gaily,\nDeserves all the praises we sing.", "id": 1305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Armageddon will startle and shock.\nGood and evil have forces that lock\nIn a battle, they say,\nThat precedes Judgment Day.\nArmageddon to think it's a crock.", "id": 1306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An ad hominem argument tries\nTo disguise that it's weak and relies\nOn attacking the man,\nSo his character can\nIn its stead be what everyone eyes.", "id": 1307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A specific, immediate need\nWill in times of emergency lead\nTo an ad hoc solution\nFor quick execution.\nWhatever it takes to succeed!", "id": 1308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the country of Mexico close,\nSome Americans know uno-dos\nIs the same as one-two.\nAnd I've heard this is true:\nThat a few know goodbye's adios.", "id": 1309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Being fat means you have adiposity,\nAnd it raises this odd curiosity:\nThese know-it-all nerds\nHave me eating my words.\nWere they food, I would be a monstrosity.", "id": 1310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a crystalline chemical that's\nManufactured from oxidized fats.\nIt's adipic, a kind\nOf an acid you'll find\nIs employed to make nylon cravats.", "id": 1311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A clause in my mortgage will peg\nThe rate on my home in West Egg\nTo the price of the Dow.\nIt's adjustable now\nAnd could cost me an ARM and a leg.", "id": 1312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some spontaneous humor is fine,\nBut beware of it crossing the line.\nSo don't let your ad-libbing\nDescend into ribbing\nThat place where the sun doesn't shine.", "id": 1313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aphrodite's renowned sweet patootie\nWas Adonis, the symbol of beauty\nOf the masculine kind\n(I have rugged in mind):\nVery virile, not fruity, this cutie.", "id": 1314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As devotion that knows no restraints,\nAdoration may bring to mind saints.\nThink of worship and love\nFor the idols above,\nOr a girl who sees Justin and faints.", "id": 1315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The gateway to Europe's a place\nCalled Adrianople, in Thrace,\nWhere Turks looking west\nSipping raki attest\nTo the leisurely Ottoman pace.", "id": 1316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "While you were at work getting paid,\nYour hubby was home getting laid.\nThis adulterer (who\nTold you \"Hon, I'll make do\")\nSure made do, all right, doing the maid.", "id": 1317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The adulterine status you've carried\nMeans your dad wasn't bad, only harried.\nHe and mom might have wed\nBefore going to bed,\nIf he hadn't already been married.", "id": 1318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I have signed in advance a directive\nThat will make this decision prospective:\nStop the drugs, say goodbye,\nPull the plug, let me die.\nLiving wills can be very effective.", "id": 1319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Remember the family farm,\nThe American idyll with charm?\nAgribusiness is strange\nAnd that home on the range\nHas been changed to a corporate arm.", "id": 1320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As an agent I now represent\nIng\u00e9nues so na\u00efve and content\nThat I charge them a fee\nThat is standard for me:\nThey get ten, I take ninety percent.", "id": 1321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you hear in your ear da-da-DUM,\nThat's the beat of the limerick drum.\nWhen you read twenty straight,\nThen the anapests grate\nAn' a pestilence sadly become.", "id": 1322, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Irrigation's a counter to blight.\nHydropower keeps factories bright.\nBe it products or crops,\nI must offer up props\nTo our agro-industrial might.", "id": 1323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a fall-blooming, leafy-stemmed herb,\nAnd for flowers the aster's superb.\nBut its name sounds the same\nAs that hotel of fame\nWhere a room sign says \"Do not disturb.\"", "id": 1324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A lieutenant came home to oppose\nThe war we called 'Nam and disclose\nWhat some soldiers had done.\nNow a group has begun\nTo complain he gave aid to our foes.", "id": 1325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the officer's club on the base,\nFive lieutenants got slugged in the face.\n(They had called me a name.)\nThen the air police came,\nSaid hello, and subdued me with mace.", "id": 1326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a radical, chemists have found,\nThat in alanines often is bound,\nBut this alanyl now\nIs essential (and how!)\nTo a word that will truly astound.", "id": 1327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Also known by the name Akhenaton,\nAmenhotep has not been forgotten.\nFrom gods he chose one;\nVenerated the sun;\nWas succeeded by King Tutankhaten.", "id": 1328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Akiba ben Joseph was known\nFor rabbinical studies, his own.\nAs a sage and a martyr,\nNot many were smarter.\nAggadic midrashim he'd hone.", "id": 1329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a town in the hills of Kentucky\nWhose people are happy-go-lucky.\nThey're ugly as sin,\nBut oddly akin.\nThey're so inbred it's creepy and yucky.", "id": 1330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Of Hellenic peninsulas three,\nThe most easterly's known as Akti.\nMacedonia's friend,\nIt's Chalcidice's end,\nWhere the monks say their prayers by the sea.", "id": 1331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An ancient Sumerian drum\nIs the ala, which sounds like it's from\nLe fran\u00e7ais (\u00e0 la king?).\nBut the ala, a wing,\nRhymes with gala, a party to some.", "id": 1332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a cream sauce with mushrooms and zing,\nWhich pimiento or peppercorn bring.\nWith turkey or chicken,\nIt's good, but will thicken\nYour waist if you eat \u00e0 la king.", "id": 1333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Alberta there's cold in the air,\nAnd I'm ailing, but not in despair.\nMy Canadian spree\nIs to pharmacies, see?\nI fill my prescriptions up there.", "id": 1334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The soldiers are tense and imperious.\nThe weapons they guard are mysterious.\nSo here in Aleppo,\nThis armament depot\nHas shown me that Syria's serious.", "id": 1335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the abbey devotions compel\nThe time for a prayer and a knell,\nSo that thrice in a day\nYou'll hear Angelus play,\nAnd the monks will be saved by the bell.", "id": 1336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's colorless, bitter, complex\n(So reminds me a lot of my ex).\nFrom an alkaloid base\nComes this addict's disgrace:\nI like morphine much better than sex.", "id": 1337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My brother-in-law likes to drink;\nAll the \"ladies\" he nurses are pink.\nSeven cocktails a night\nBut his beer's only lite,\nSo he isn't an alky (wink, WINK!).", "id": 1338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cent and a scent and ascent,\nWhen pronounced, can confuse your intent.\nBut add context and hear\n(\"I assent, have no fear\")\nWhat the sounds of \"uh-SENT\" represent.", "id": 1339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a force lies in wait in Belize,\nA few soldiers are strolling, at ease.\nInto danger they stray\nDown a narrow all\u00e9e,\n'Cause they can't see the force for the trees.", "id": 1340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My abode is a mansion with creaking\nOld stairways and lots of antiquing.\nAlthough this sounds facile,\nMy home is my castle,\nAt least in a manor of speaking.", "id": 1341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My bank account's low, I can't fudge it.\nAll the money I owe? I misjudge it.\nI'm over my head\nAnd I'm swimming in red.\nI feel stuck with my debt and can't budge it.", "id": 1342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An asylum is where I remain\nLes docteurs check for l'eau on my brain.\nSeems they put me away,\n'Cause in Paris, they say,\nWhen you jump off a bridge you're in Seine.", "id": 1343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're rating a bottom, it's fine\nFor a ten to be top of the line.\nBut it's rather inane,\nIf not downright insane,\nTo be calling a bad asinine.", "id": 1344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In agrarianism one's worth\nIs augmented by tilling the earth.\nTo bucolics the charm\nOf a life on the farm\nIs instilled from the moment of birth.", "id": 1345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A true entomologist would\nKnow this genus of mite, understood?\nSo if Acarus throws ya,\nI expect apologia \u2014\nAn excuse that had better be good.", "id": 1346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This cheatin' is makin' a hog o' me;\nIt's almost akin to misogamy.\nMy acedia, see,\nIs a form of ennui,\nAnd a mistress helps break the monogamy.", "id": 1348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An upholstery artisan, Glover,\nAwakens as coworkers hover.\nAfter falling, unseen,\nIn a fabric machine,\nHe's recovered, but might not recover.", "id": 1349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Every circuit brings darkness and light.\nThere are twenty-four hours in the flight\nOf the sun overhead\nWhen we're up and in bed\nAnd we pass from all-day to all-night.", "id": 1350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We hear geezer, old lady, and goat.\nWe're called codgers and biddies who dote.\nMany ageists are mean\nAnd their prejudice keen.\nGiven time they will climb in this boat.", "id": 1351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though this verse has a definite plan,\nI can adumbrate only its span.\nWrite a line with a word\nSo it can be inferred\nWhat it means. (Do the best that you can.)", "id": 1352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An assassin, a killer, who hassles\nA lass as he passes a castle's\nIrascible king\nHas his ass in a sling\nAs he rassles a passel of vassals.", "id": 1353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To show us the man you've become,\nYou carry yourself with aplomb.\nYour confident bearing\nAnd poise are unerring.\n(The clothes you are wearing say \"bum.\")", "id": 1354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With affirmative action our schools\nHave expanded minority pools.\nThere are some who will claim\nIt's a zero-sum game\nAnd complain about bending the rules.", "id": 1355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a flower acropetal\u2014bound\nTo develop its buds from the ground.\nThey will bloom without stop\n'Til they get to top\nAnd the uppermost blossom is crowned.", "id": 1356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adenitis means glands are inflamed\nAnd there's swelling from causes unnamed.\nWhen it happens to me\nWith my prostate, I pee\nIn Morse code and am, frankly, ashamed.", "id": 1357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The sex is fantastic and rife,\nThe hottest she's had in her life.\nThis Lady's adult'ry\nIs torrid and sultry.\nI'm speaking of Chatterley's wife.", "id": 1358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the top of our Army commands,\nThe adjutant general stands\nTo ensure personnel\nAnd their records, as well,\nNever fall into enemy hands.", "id": 1359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The people in admin are great!\nMy requests to their desk never wait.\nThey're as fast as can be\u2014\nMy name's Colin, you see,\nAnd I run the Department of State.", "id": 1360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The drug doxorubicin fights\nBacteria, tumors, and mites.\nFor pharmacy pricin'\nIt's Adriamycin.\nThe trademark is clear, by all rights.", "id": 1361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you dig in the Alps, you can't miss\nA mineral known to the Swiss.\nAdularia might\nBe transparent or white.\nNothing more I can tell you than this.", "id": 1362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A promotion is everyone's dream.\nAs you rise to the top, it would seem\nAn advancement in rank\nMeans a trip to the bank.\nToo bad it's a pyramid scheme.", "id": 1363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an action is under advisement,\nYou weigh it and make an apprizement\nOf what you decide:\nHold it up, let it ride.\nEither way you will get some chastisement.", "id": 1364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the desert in Asia called Gobi,\nIn New Mexico and in Nairobi,\nYou find pretty quick\nThere's a kind of a brick\nMade from earth that we call the adobe.", "id": 1365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was finding aerobics a bit\nOf a drag, so decided to split\nAnd give bondage a try\nFor my exercise high.\nNow I'm bound to be tied to be fit.", "id": 1366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're reading the classified ads,\nYou will notice each column has scads\nOf these lines to the inch.\nFourteen agates? I squinch\nLike a nearsighted geezer. Egads!", "id": 1367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"I love pottery mottled and veined,\nSo I'll pay any price,\" she explained.\n\"It's my agate ware, which\nI'd be happy to pitch\nAt my spouse if he ever complained.\"", "id": 1368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you fall between twenty and ten,\nYou're a teen or a preteen, and then\nAll the adsmiths descend,\n'Cause your age-group will spend\nMuch more money than women and men.", "id": 1369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you alkalinize, you can halt\nAn acidic solution's gestalt.\nRaise the pH a bunch,\nBut don't pummel or punch,\nOr you might just be charged with a salt.", "id": 1370, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All our seniors are learning en masse\nThat adult education's a gas.\nThat middle-aged dowdy\nIs summa cum laude.\nSo's the geezer who snoozes in class.", "id": 1371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a layer of molecules sits\nOn a surface it contacts or hits,\nThere's adhesion at play,\nCalled adsorption, they say,\nLike the Clearasil film on my zits.", "id": 1372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In our blood an agglutinin dwells\nThat assists in the clumping of cells\nAnd bacterial goo\n(And rickettsias, too)\u2014\nAll the usual whistles and bells.", "id": 1373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "George Bush talks a lot about freedom\u2014\n\"For loggers!\" some argue, \"Defeat him\nOr the forests will fall\nAnd the last tree of all\nWill be standing in some arboretum.\"", "id": 1374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "To the north is the town of Trieste;\nBalkans east and there's Italy west.\nThough the proud Adriatic\nHas charms, the aquatic\nExpanse to the south is the best.", "id": 1375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Virginia's high mountains are old,\nAnd folks there live simple, I'm told,\nWhere modernisation\nJust ain't Appalachian,\nAnd winters are fearsomely cold.", "id": 1376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A soldier who's airborne will jump\nFrom a plane and come down with a thump.\nThen he'll brush off his rump,\nGrab his gear and then hump\n'Til he bumps off some enemy chump.", "id": 1377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When we airbrush our pictures today,\nWe remove tiny flaws with a spray.\nBut in Stalinist times,\nIf convicted of \"crimes,\"\nYou would vanish from photos that way.", "id": 1378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you travel in Europe, you know,\nDoing clothes can be terribly slow.\nThere are washing machines,\nBut few dryers, which means\nYou may air-dry wherever you go.", "id": 1379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Before mourning for Doris, I'll bury 'er.\nShe's the one I adore, yes, the terrier.\nAh, but Airedales are great,\nSo beware, there are eight\nI'm adopting. (The more Aires, the merrier.)", "id": 1380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Losing power while landing, he's miffed,\nSo the pilot's reaction is swift.\nWith the airflow that wraps\nAround wings and their flaps,\nHe can give the plane much-needed lift.", "id": 1381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Army has soldiers who fight.\nThe Navy has sailors, all right.\nThe Marine Corps, I'm told,\nHas marines, very bold,\nWhile the Air Force has airmen in flight.", "id": 1382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Consider the shape of a craft\nDesigned from the front to the aft\nTo float or to fly\nUp above in the sky:\nIt's the airframe's original draft.", "id": 1383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You can ship it by train or by truck.\nIf they want it tomorrow, good luck!\nFor delivery speed,\nIt is airfreight you need\nTo get more of a bang for your buck.", "id": 1384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a-huntin' for deer in my truck.\nThis durn air rifle's brung me no luck.\nGrab a shotgun instead,\nShoot a twelve-pointer dead.\nGet a little more bang for my buck.", "id": 1385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I created a new dioramic\nExhibit with views panoramic\nOf bowel obstruction\nRemoval by suction.\nEntitled it: What's Adynamic?", "id": 1386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anadiplosis is when \u2014\nWhen a word is repeated again,\nAgain for effect,\nEffect we expect,\nExpect from a slip of the pen.", "id": 1387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Here are video scenes from my trip\nTo South Africa's southernmost tip.\nNo, it isn't the Cape\nOf Good Hope on my tape.\nIt's Agulhas\u2014means \"needles\" on ship.", "id": 1388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When criminals aid and abet,\nThey will be in society's debt.\nThere's a sentence inside\nFor the help they supplied.\nOn release we'll forgive and forget.", "id": 1389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's gigantic and moving our way,\nSo the meteorologists say.\nIt's an air mass, they boast,\nThat will cover the coast,\nSo we're in for a roasting today.", "id": 1390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've been planning on getting away,\nBut my flight has been cancelled today.\nNow this offer of eight\nThousand air miles is great,\nBut I'd rather have moola, okay?", "id": 1391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My new agent for travel maintains,\n\"Let's forget about buses and trains!\nThey're as slow as can be.\"\nShe's air-minded, you see,\nSo she's booking me only on planes.", "id": 1392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We hear that a Blackhawk is down\u2014\nIt has called from the center of town.\nWe'll send airmobile troops\nIn a couple of groups.\nWe're the Rangers, a corps of renown.", "id": 1393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a Midwestern town with two cops,\nThe mailman's a farmer named Pops.\nThe airpost is slow;\nThat's expected, you know,\nBecause Pops has to dust a few crops.", "id": 1394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the atmosphere, currents that flow\nLead to winds that persistently blow.\nThere are airstreams that move\nWith El Ni\u00f1o and prove\nIt determines how weather will go.", "id": 1395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a map you can study Brunei,\nMark its borders with pencil or eye,\nWhich would seem to define\nIts domain with a line,\nBut its airspace goes up to the sky.", "id": 1396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The American Kennel's for nuts;\nIt's a club for the lovers of mutts.\nBut the breeds, you'll agree,\nAre as pure as can be,\nSo these mutts are your anything-buts.", "id": 1397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alabama's a tolerant state:\nMost inhabitants harbor no hate\nFor outsiders and blacks,\nAs today they relax\nIn communities, locking the gate.", "id": 1398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alarmism's rampant, it's said,\nWith terrorist bombings ahead.\nThe Department that rates\nAll the threat-level states\nUses yellow and orange and red.", "id": 1399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Under stress, one reaction is flight,\nWhile another's deciding to fight.\nSo expecting alarm\nCan induce you to arm\nOr get running shoes, fancy and light.", "id": 1400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Albacete's a region in Spain\nWhere the vintners keep track of the rain.\nThere are different stats\nFor the mountains and flats.\nDoes the rain mainly stay in the plain?", "id": 1401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Just up north on the Hudson you'll find\nA capital, one of a kind.\nThe Big Apple is cool,\nBut it's Albany's rule\nThat determines New York's state of mind.", "id": 1402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A chemist, incredibly bold,\nHad a theory, and lo and behold!\nCan you guess where it led\nWhen he forged right ahead?\nWell, he alchemized lead into gold!", "id": 1403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alcmene is bedded by Zeus,\nWho's Amphitryon, under a ruse.\nBy the latter she's had,\nGets a twin by each dad,\nThus defining a screw that is loose.", "id": 1404, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a colorless, beta-hydroxy\nOrganic enactor that's foxy.\nThis aldol, I'm told,\nIs reactive and bold\nAnd lends synthesis much of its moxie.", "id": 1405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Vegas, a chapel's renowned\nFor its weddings, which truly astound.\nTwenty knots were once tied\nOn a carousel ride:\nAn astonishing marry-go-round.", "id": 1406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'd be happy to cast the first stone\nAt the lender who's now on the phone\nFor his boring oration\nOn amortization.\nI wish he would leave me a loan.", "id": 1407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was a hunter named Darryl\nWho found twenty cod in a barrel.\nHe put clothes on each one\nAnd took aim with his gun,\n'Cause he liked shooting fish in apparel.", "id": 1408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I am driven at work and at play\nIn an Asian-American way.\nBorn in Chinese Taiwan,\nI love pouring it on.\nMy behavior is clearly Taipei.", "id": 1409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It isn't a hard diagnosis,\nIn light of how horribly gross is\nThe food that I eat:\nOnly fried, only meat.\nMy arteries suffer sclerosis.", "id": 1410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A young lady got married and found\nHer new hubby's equipment unsound.\nShe felt cheated and gulled,\nHad the marriage annulled.\nNow she hears that he's up and around.", "id": 1411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My young grandson is laughing and cheery,\nAnd his dad's playful fingers are weary.\nI'm amused at their game,\nEven played it (the same).\nI subscribe to the tickle-down theory.", "id": 1412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He forgot about placing the bets\nAnd then ran up incredible debts.\nBut this new aide-m\u00e9moire\nIs a boon for Babar;\nNow the elephant never forgets.", "id": 1413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your hearing's so keen and acute\nIt has brought you a certain repute.\nWhen I secretly pass\nJust a smidgen of gas,\nYou're so shrewd you can hear my astute.", "id": 1414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the court you just move to the hoop\nAs the guard throws the ball in a loop.\nYou then sky in the air,\nCatch and dunk it right there,\nAnd complete the once rare alley-oop.", "id": 1415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A substance of little renown\nIs found in an algae that's brown\u2014\nThis acid's alginic,\nColloidal.... (A cynic\nWould know I don't have it all down.)", "id": 1416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a Marriott up in Marin,\nAn ague had guests in a spin\n(Runny noses and chills),\nBut they took a few pills,\nAnd today there's no rheum at the inn.", "id": 1417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An areola garnered some fame\nIn a televised Super Bowl game.\nAs displayed on the tube,\nIt belonged to a boob\nAnd Miss Jackson. (They're one and the same.)", "id": 1418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a hospital up in Salinas\nMy nourishment's pure intravenous.\nThough alimentation\nInhibits starvation,\nThe liquid repels with its greenness.", "id": 1419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a fine all-American boy\u2014\nTo his parents, a bundle of joy.\nHe's a wonderful kid,\nOh, but heaven forbid\nHe should marry a fella named Roy.", "id": 1420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They are places that teach you the rules\nOf nutrition\u2014the basics, the tools.\nFrom grade one to grade six,\nYou learn nourishment tricks.\nThey are called alimentary schools.", "id": 1421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a phosphatase, study the bone\nWhere an alkaline enzyme is known\nTo help esters unwind.\nIn the prostate, you'll find\nThere is one that's acidity-prone.", "id": 1422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For seafood, some people like bass,\nWhile others say flounder has class.\nFor a tasty knish,\nTry aquarium fish\u2014\nAll the dough serves to cover your wrasse.", "id": 1423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My flashlight is constantly glowing.\nThe alkaline battery's showing\nThe bunny can be\nSo darn energized he\nJust keeps going and going and going.", "id": 1424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The alkanet (family borage):\nYou might add it to salads, not porridge.\nIt's a plant that has ties\nTo our drugs and our dyes,\nAnd some animals use it for forage.", "id": 1425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When referring to something containing\nA radical molecule chaining\nSome oxygen to\nAny alkyl group, you\nWill be doing alkoxy explaining.", "id": 1426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All-American athletes are those\nWho in college demolish their foes\nIn a number of sports,\nOn the diamonds and courts,\nAnd then pummel the fans when they're pros.", "id": 1428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At parties I'm always atwitter;\nIf celebrities come, I just titter.\nThe more stars and more glam,\nThe more nervous I am.\nI'm a critter excited by glitter.", "id": 1429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since a needle can puncture and stun,\nI was nervous before he'd begun.\nBut the pain's disappeared,\nIt was not as I'd feared.\nAcupuncture: a jab that's well done.", "id": 1430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alexander the Great conquered Greece,\nThen continued his march without cease.\nHe took Persia by force,\nAnd then Egypt, of course.\nAfter India? Homeward in peace.", "id": 1431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the army they'd call him a buck\u2014\nThat's a private, you know\u2014and with luck,\nA promotion will come\nTo first class, and this dumb\nAirman basic's a high muck-a-muck.", "id": 1432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On our planes you may notice these guys\u2014\nThey're the ones with the serious eyes.\nWith air piracy threats,\nWe need cops on our jets,\nSo the air marshals cover the skies.", "id": 1433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The lymphadenopathy shows,\nWhat with fever and weight loss and woes,\nA complex severe \u2014\nAIDS-related, I hear,\nSo my future's not bright, I suppose.", "id": 1434, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I dress to avoid any gaffes.\nMy Manolos are six-and-a-halfs.\nBut my man-about-town\nLikes to dress like a clown,\nSo I'm in for apparel of laughs.", "id": 1435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Diphosphate combined with adenosine\nIs an ester that's certainly menacin'.\nIt's a nucleoside,\nA high-energy ride.\n(You won't find ADP reading Tennyson.)", "id": 1436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are banners and babies to kiss\nAnd a bandstand where nothing's amiss.\nThe machinery hums\nWhen the candidate comes.\nThe advance man has seen to all this.", "id": 1437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "There was O and then A and then S:\nAll the levels of students' success.\nThe advanced test appended\nWas mostly intended\n(In England) for Oxbridge, I guess.", "id": 1438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The mosquitoes we know as Aedes\nAlight on and bite on you sweeties.\nThey pass yellow fever\nTo you, the receiver,\nBut, notably, not diabetes.", "id": 1439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a surgeon performs an ablation,\nThere's often a cutting sensation.\nBut ablated erasure\nOf ice from a glacier\nMeans melting or vaporization.", "id": 1440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It used to be bushy and red,\nBut it thinned and the gray really spread.\nNow it's white and it's aery;\nThere's practically nary\nA hair you can see on my head.", "id": 1441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This stepping is hard to surpass;\nAs a workout, it's really a gas.\nI'm pumped and I'm cool,\nAn aerobicized fool\n(And the only guy taking this class).", "id": 1442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The mace that we buy is devised\nAs a stream, not a mist, I'm apprised.\nManufacturers claim\nSuch a spray is the aim.\nIt won't work if it's aerosolized.", "id": 1444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The dramatist Aeschylus knew\nThat one actor on stage wouldn't do,\nSo he added a second\nAnd dialogue beckoned.\n(The thespian guild liked it, too.)", "id": 1445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the medieval kingdom of Kent,\nSt. Aethelberht fostered content\nWhen he codified laws,\n(Anglo-Saxon the cause)\nWith the Church's advice and consent.", "id": 1446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a west central district of Greece\nTo the north of the Peloponnese.\nAetolia's goats,\nWine, tobacco, and oats\nKeep this region of Hellas in peace.", "id": 1447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The air goes from nothing to thin\nAs a satellite's orbit moves in.\nSoon the atmosphere will\nBecome thicker until\nAerobraking can truly begin.", "id": 1448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Demosthenes argued with ease\nThat Aeschines sought to appease\nAnd was willing to bring,\nNot the Macedon king,\nBut himself and the Greeks to their knees.", "id": 1449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When they said you were lighter than air,\nDid you wonder or not really care\nHow they knew? By the way,\nHow much does the air weigh?\nSee aerometer measurements there.", "id": 1450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Chromatography, using a gas,\nWill ensure macromolecules pass\nThrough one column or more\nWith affinity for\nAll the ligands that later amass.", "id": 1451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bunch of us charter a bus\nFor a tour of the city and, thus,\nAs an intimate troupe\n(An affinity group),\nWe commune and complain and discuss.", "id": 1452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My girl's an aficionada\nOf tacos and carne asada.\nShe's a food devotee,\nAnd how much does she weigh?\nLet's just say she's the big enchilada.", "id": 1453, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When tape is adhesive, it sticks\nAnd allows you to safely affix\nA note to your Scotch,\nSo you later won't botch\nUp and serve it to underage chicks.", "id": 1455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The ambassador says she's at-large\n(Unofficial, not really in charge).\nBut if I, sir, were you,\nI'd not bid her adieu;\nI would meet with this Madame Defarge.", "id": 1456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My adroitness is known far and wide;\nIt's a deftness that can't be denied.\nI have dexterous skill\nTo move objects at will.\nSo why is it my keys always hide?", "id": 1457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Yankees are, a fortiori,\nA team of tradition and glory.\n\"We were winners with class\n'Til the Sox whipped our ass.\nIt was gory,\" said manager Torre.", "id": 1458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Add agamo- to -spermy and find\nIt's apogamy\u2014oddly, a kind\nOf a sexual act\nThat's a flop, but in fact\nLeaves an embryo, nicely designed.", "id": 1460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'd say age is a relative thing.\nThere's a few who've seen many a spring\nAnd a few only one.\nSo when all's said and done,\nWhy has agelong a permanent ring?", "id": 1461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Should the size of my member appall\nAny woman because it's so small,\nI agree, then submit,\n\"With agenesis, it\nWould not have developed at all.\"", "id": 1462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've an agent I no longer see\nSince he nabbed Angelina Jolie.\nNow he'll frequently shirk\nAll the agenting work\nHe's supposed to be doing for me.", "id": 1463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There were servants and manors and land,\nSo the life of a gentry was grand:\nBut this agentry sucks;\nAll my clients are schmucks.\nGuess I'll open a lemonade stand.", "id": 1464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I am saddened by certain senescence,\nA body and mind obsolescence.\nMy old age decline\nIs an age-old design.\nGotta get me some antidepressants.", "id": 1465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a tropical flowery plant,\nAn American genus extant\nIn Honduras, they say,\nAnd down Mexico way.\nAgeratum's blue blossoms enchant.", "id": 1466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Let us praise this sublime ageratum,\nA member of plants' upper stratum.\nIt's a tropical herb\nThat is simply superb.\nI've included here more than one datum.", "id": 1467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Let's face it, this word is a bear\nTo define in a limerick where\nOnly anapests work.\nIt's a job I won't shirk:\nAggiornamento's updating. So there!", "id": 1468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You agglomerate things in a mass,\nIn a cluster, a heap, a morass\nOf stuff stuck together.\nYou cannot tell whether\nThis jumble's your elbow or ass.", "id": 1469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An agglomerate's made by the shock\nOf explosions of hot molten rock.\nWhen volcanoes erupt,\nThe creation's abrupt,\nLike a chip off the old Etna block.", "id": 1470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The derivative words we create\nFrom constituent parts can elate.\nWe agglutinate, which\nIs the way we enrich\nThe poor language we all love to hate.", "id": 1471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though the earth has its valleys and peaks,\nUniformity's something it seeks,\nAnd as water moves silt,\nLower grades are rebuilt.\nAggradation's a process in creeks.", "id": 1472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The air gun's an excellent tool\nFor painting a chair or a stool.\nDon't rely on a brush\nIf the job is a rush\u2014\nUse a spray, you'll be playing it cool.", "id": 1474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've a habit I need to divulge\nThat has caused my abdominal bulge.\nI'm addicted to sweets,\nSo I practice safe eats\nAnd use condom mints when I indulge.", "id": 1475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mogul with money and fame\nLikes to stay at the top of his game.\nAt his side is a stunner\n(His money had won her).\nArm candy's the name for the dame.", "id": 1476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When extolling a friend's \"Attic salt,\"\nIt's not Morton's you want to exalt\nOr a garret you mean,\nBut a wit that's so keen\nIt can win a debate by default.", "id": 1477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Crispus Attucks, a runaway slave\nAnd mulatto, was said to be brave.\nHe was shot by the Brits,\nWho gave patriots fits,\nSending three of them right to the grave.", "id": 1478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Speed it up, make it accelerando;\nSlow it down and you're playing lentando.\nChanging tempo can greatly\nMake music more stately.\nNow try a sedate allargando.", "id": 1479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Pledge of Allegiance creator\nWas Baptist, a noted Bay-Stater.\nSo isn't it odd\nThat the phrase \"under God\"\nWasn't added 'til sixty years later?", "id": 1480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I drank beer in my dissolute youth\nAnd got drafted one day in Duluth.\n'Tis the Army that can\nMake a youngster a man.\nAnd the beer? Now it's gin and vermouth.", "id": 1481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A link or connection's implied\nWhen we say that some folks are allied.\nThey're related by means\nOf a treaty or genes;\nIn this sense they are fit to be tied.", "id": 1482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alloantigens make you produce\nAntibodies that storm on the loose\nTo encircle their foes\nAnd defeat them, which shows\nThat your body's defenses have juice.", "id": 1483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a Sunday I'm out for a spin\nWhen my Rolls gets a flat in Marin.\nWith the spare on the wheel\nI'm retired, but feel\nExhausted, fatigued, and all in.", "id": 1484, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Pelopia, screwed by her dad,\nThyestes, got pregnant and had\nAegisthus, a son,\nWho she opted to shun\u2026\nNow it's here that the story gets bad.", "id": 1486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "So how can you tell from the blue\nThat the earth has a field that drew\nThe needle around\nOn the compass you found?\nBy an aeromagnetic review!", "id": 1487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the medical arts were aborning,\nAesculapius gave us a warning.\nThis demigod (Greek)\nWas the first doc to speak:\n\"Take this bolus and call in the morning.\"", "id": 1488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Come affiliate down at the pub.\nBe a member,\" they said. (Here's the rub.)\nI will act nonchalant.\nIf it's me that they want,\nI don't care to belong to this club.", "id": 1489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We were hunting and grunting in pairs,\nWhen my partner got caught unawares\nBy a grizzly who spun\nAnd then brandished a gun.\nLet's abolish the right to arm bears.", "id": 1490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If your product's diluted, it's fake,\nBut for dealing in flake, man, it's jake.\nJust adulterate coke\nAnd you'll never go broke.\nYou can cut it and double your take.", "id": 1491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This king of Aegina ruled well.\nHis decisions were clear as a bell.\nSo when Aeacus passed,\nAll the gods labored fast\nTo appoint him as judge down in Hell.", "id": 1492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the Navy, we brook no debate.\nWhether sunny or rainy, we wait\n'Til the P.O. informs\nThe lieutenant of storms.\nWe salute the aerographer's mate.", "id": 1493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From the woman I love I get flak\nAnd am constantly under attack,\n'Cause I don't like to dance,\nThough I'd jump at the chance\nIf my wife had a breast on her back.", "id": 1494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a doctrine of action, my source\nCites the word activism of course.\nChange the v to an n,\nLook it up and it's then\nActinism, a radiant force.", "id": 1495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This insecticide's yellow and oily;\nDon't spray it right next to a doily.\nIts allethrin base\nPuts a stain on your lace\nAnd is likely to screw it up royally.", "id": 1496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Consider three meanings of addle:\n\"Bewilder,\" \"the urine of cattle,\"\nAnd \"eggs that went bad.\"\nI would hasten to add\nThat when faced with such things, I'd skedaddle!", "id": 1497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Unattributed sat down and wrote a\nCollection of verse. If you quote a\nSpare line that you took\nFrom this poetry book,\nPlease attribute it thus: adespota.", "id": 1498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The spiny angelica tree\nWas used to treat toothaches for free.\nIt made the mouth burn\nBut the pain would return\nSoon thereafter, said Rafinesque, C.", "id": 1499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In my effort to cure alkalosis\nI've tried surgery, drugs, and hypnosis.\nThe trick is to be\nMore acidic, you see,\nBut I'm base: a disgraceful prognosis.", "id": 1500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The stately American elm\nWas a sov'reign; our towns were its realm.\nAt a hundred green feet\nIt would arch o'er the street\nBut now beetle-borne spores overwhelm.", "id": 1501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An aerophone\u2014noisy when blown\u2014\nMust be played with some care for good tone;\nThere's no clamor as sad\nAnd melodically bad\nAs a flatulent flute or trombone.", "id": 1502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "She loves me, she loves me... or not.\nI'm plucking this daisy a lot.\nO horrors: somehow\nIt's apetalous now\nAnd which was the last?  I forgot....", "id": 1503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I'll accept all your change without qualms\nAs I stand here extending my palms.\nYou don't want to sound dumb,\nSo don't call me a bum:\nI'm an almsman.  You got any alms?", "id": 1504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In Atlantic cuisine there's a fish\nCalled a croaker, a delicate dish.\nA hardheaded grumbler,\nThis small piscine rumbler\nIs caught by the ton.  It's de-lish.", "id": 1505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Conversational use of anent,\nI am told, has just got up and went.\n\"It's no longer a word.\"\nCome, let's not be absurd;\nI know nothing anent this event.", "id": 1506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Let's face it: I lack the remotest\nFinesse when I play anecdotist.\nAt parties I'm cowed\nAnd can scarce speak aloud\nSo my tale-telling never gets noticed.", "id": 1507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Incoherent emotional plea?\nObfuscation gets nowhere with me.\nReassemble your case\nWith the facts all in place\nOr acceptant I never shall be.", "id": 1508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "With a sapphire of staggering size\nI came home, and it dazzled her eyes.\nShe was thrilled and amazed\n'Til she had it appraised...\nNow I'm broke and alone, but more wise.", "id": 1509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ancient Greeks were aware they had sinned\nAgainst Aeolus, god of the wind,\nWhen the javelins they tossed\nEither ended up lost\nOr 'twixt ground and their garments got pinned.", "id": 1510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you don't understand affectation,\nLet me give you a short illustration:\nWhen the guy at the dump,\nWho must think that he's Trump,\nSays his junk's in a primo location.", "id": 1511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Suspending himself from the apse\nOf St. Paul's Cathedral, perhaps,\nWas silly of Wren,\nBut no other men\nWould test if the dome would collapse.", "id": 1512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you feel three-dimensional grief,\nIt's my fervently fostered belief:\nYou need anaglyph glasses\nTo laugh with the masses\nIn low, yet in comic, relief.", "id": 1513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I knew, from its luminous shine,\nThat I'd found an amblygonite mine\u2014\nWith a shiny white gleam\nAnd a cleavable seam\nFull of lithium ore, sprinkled fine.", "id": 1514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "So much can go on at an altar:\nA psalm can be read from a Psalter,\nA lamb slain and bled,\nOr some wedding vows read.\nAll at once, and the preacher might falter.", "id": 1515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Occurring completely by chance,\nThe banker's impulsive romance\nHe deemed adventitious.\nAt times, though, he wishes\nThat love would prevail, not finance.", "id": 1516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Where Northern Lights gleam so lucific,\nAnd grizzlies and seals are prolific,\nIt's nine hours ago\nFrom Leeds, did Juneau?\nAlaska Time's just past Pacific.", "id": 1517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Alpha hydroxy, an acid,\nMay help your face not to go flaccid.\nIf your skin looks like leather,\nYou can fight age and weather\u2014\nIf not to feel young, at least placid.", "id": 1518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A warm-weather fete, fair, or festival\nAre summertime gatherings aestival.\nSo's eating a peach,\nLong walks on the beach,\nAnd outdoor soirees where guests dress t'kill.", "id": 1519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The cold here is causing us pains,\nSo increasing the heat takes no brains\u2014\nBut the boss says no go;\nAll the allocable dough\nWent to chrome-plate our handcuffs and chains.", "id": 1520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A contract between two adults\nShould lead to consistent results.\nAn agreement, less formal,\nCan also be normal,\nBut be careful when dealing with cults.", "id": 1521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My pal's got the squits: dysentery.\nIt's amoebic, he says, which is scary.\nAmoebas that hide\nUp inside your inside\nAre the pits.  Drinking water?  Be wary.", "id": 1522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Each communion, I kneel without fail\nIn front of the altar's wood rail.\nAt this gate I will tarry\nOne day, when I marry\nMy bride\u2014once she comes in the mail.", "id": 1523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In picking up women, my tactic?\nI promise adventures galactic.\nWe watch Lost in Space\nWhen we're back at my place,\nWhich they find to be anticlimactic.", "id": 1524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On top of the altar's a stone.\nBehind it, the priest starts to drone:\n\"Bless this chalice and Host,\nIn the name of the Ghost . . .\"\nThen rrring,  rrring goes a cellular phone.", "id": 1525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Lose the unneeded \"e\" from \"espy.\"\nEase yourself by forgiving the guy.\nThough aphesis is slow\n(Greek for \"let the dreck go\"),\nOn the whole, it is worthwhile to try.", "id": 1526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When singing soprano, you clown;\nWith your shrieks, lower voices you drown.\nYou like to get high?\nThere's a limit, says I,\nSo to alto I'm pulling you down.", "id": 1527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ameslan rightly commands\nThe respect of the deaf.  It expands\nTheir ability to\nInteract with those who\nAlso \"speak\" it by using their hands.", "id": 1528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In London, a man from Siam\nLearned English while riding a tram\nAnd practiced \"to be\"s\nAsking \"Who's Siamese?\"\n\"He isn't, you aren't, I am.\"", "id": 1529, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a cancer the changes are drastic;\nThe cells have become anaplastic.\nThey display anaplasia,\nA lethal dyscrasia,\nMaking primitive forms, quite fantastic.", "id": 1530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you want a career that's ascendant,\nSo you'll never be broke or dependent,\nEducation's the key \u2014\nThen you won't have to be\nEither car-hop or washroom attendant.", "id": 1531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am Meg.  I'm the world's cutest pup.\nMy worldview is happy and up.\nMy tail wags like crazy,\nI sleep when I'm lazy,\nAnd if offered a bone, I say \"Yup!\"", "id": 1532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Animal husbandry? Yes,\nIt's a valid position, I guess.\nLooking after a beast\nIs a kindness, at least;\nBut divorcing 'em\u2014man, what a mess.", "id": 1533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "An agnostic is one who will doubt\nAny reason for being devout.\nThough not atheistic,\nAnd hardly a mystic,\nMost religion he'd rather leave out.", "id": 1534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Your eau de cologne is the best\u2014\nIts attractancy leaves 'em obsessed.\nIt's especially great\nAt seducing a mate\nWhen you wear it while scantily dressed.", "id": 1536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The acrita (maybe you know)\nAre phyla of echelon low.\nThey've no nervous tissue;\nTheir one pressing issue\nIs whether to swim to or fro.", "id": 1537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Abeam's when the angles are right\nAnd ship A has ship B in its sight.\nToo close, they're abreast,\nBut it tends to be best\nFor the vessels to pass in the night.", "id": 1538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My dad is an abstinent faster.\nHis appetite couldn't be vaster,\nBut Dad doesn't eat!\nNot the tiniest treat:\nInstead he imbibes oil of castor.", "id": 1539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "One evening when Venus was drinking\nA muscular youth got her thinking:\n\"Come hither, Adonish!\nYou truly astonish!\"\nShe slurred. \"Let's partake in hijinking!\"", "id": 1540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A protein biologists use\nThat's extracted from jellyfish ooze?\nAequorin's its name,\nAnd its one claim to fame\nIs that calcium gives it the blues.", "id": 1541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If your food-pipe is feeling constricted,\nAnd you wonder with what you're afflicted,\nIt's time to face facts:\nTell your sphincter \"relax!\"\nAchalasia's how doctors depict it.", "id": 1542, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The job that Adrastea had\nWas to separate good Greeks from bad.\nShe was Jupiter's kin\nNow she's destined to spin,\nAn oddly shaped moon, 'round her dad.", "id": 1543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Pf\" in pfeffer and \"ch\" in Chinese\nAre affricatives both, if you please.\nThey start with a stop,\nThen let air from the top\nOf your mouth, sort of like when you sneeze.", "id": 1544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The word affluent means, ordinarily,\nBeing wealthy, but not necessarily.\nIt's also a stream\nThat's not worth a centime.\nIt just flows all day long, tributarily.", "id": 1545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The demands of the slaves did resound:\n\"Set us free! Let us be freedom bound!\nAffranchise us, master!\nAvoid the disaster\nOf houses burned down to the ground!\"", "id": 1546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A signature, stamps, and \"P.S.\"\nWith some murderous threats, I would guess,\nMight all enter the mix\nOf the things I'd affix\nTo a letter sent under duress.", "id": 1547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "He thought wagering wasn't much fun\nTill the highest of stakes had begun.\n\"Bet the house on the lotto\"\nBecame his new motto\u2014\nIt summed up his life: all-or-none.", "id": 1548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The farmer (a sportsman, no doubt)\nWouldn't ever go fishin' without\nAn atomic reactor\nOn top of his tractor\u2014\nHe liked to go fission for trout.", "id": 1549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The athrocyte cell has a taste\nFor converting microbial waste\nInto granular bits.\nThe amoeba submits\nSuch behavior is deeply debased.", "id": 1550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Bermuda the shorts are gigantic\nAnd sunsets are often romantic.\nThe time zone they go by,\nTo ebb and to flow by,\nIn summer and winter? Atlantic.", "id": 1551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "My country and I are depressed,\nFor our values are shaky at best.\nWe have traded ideals\nFor more automobiles;\nNow by anomie we are possessed.", "id": 1552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If hiking and climbing enthrall\nBut unfortunate spills you recall,\nGo and trade in your stick\nFor an alpenstock, quick:\nGet a metal-tipped grip and don't fall.", "id": 1553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Impressed by the tint of the sky,\nThe chemist decided to try\nTo create the same hue\nAs that warm shade of blue\nBy concocting an aniline dye.", "id": 1554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An addax, patrolling the veldt,\nSpied a nubile young gnu, sleek and svelte.\n\"Feeling horny?\" asked he.\n\"Not for you!\" answered she.\nHis horns were too twisted, she felt.", "id": 1555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Fish and chips, many Britons exalt\nDoused with vinegar made out of malt.\nBut a chemist would class it\nAcetic, an acid,\nWith sodium chloride, a salt.", "id": 1556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To abuccinate, here's what you do:\nAssemble an army or two.\nFirst a loud trumpet peal,\nThen a shout and a squeal:\nIt's how dictators make their debut.", "id": 1557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "His soldiers bore arms on the field;\nHis knights, an armigerous shield.\nThen his herald announced\nThat King Harold got trounced:\n\"Before William, we sadly must yield.\"", "id": 1558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Through his aerophone, Dexter declared,\n\"Please excuse me!!! I'm hearing-impaired!!!\"\nThen his girlfriend, a strumpet,\nSaid, \"Dearie, your trumpet\nBelongs in your ear\u2014you have erred.\"", "id": 1559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said the sultan who spilled his sangria,\n\"To tidy this, here's my idea.\nNo trouble at all!\nI'll undo my agal,\nAnd I'll soak it up with my kaffiyeh.\"", "id": 1560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With plexus he pings his pleximeter,\nThen out comes his albuminimeter.\nI pee at my pleasure,\nA protein measure\nIs heated, then checked by gravimeter.", "id": 1561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ametropic means near- or farsighted;\nAt times, astigmatically blighted:\nYour vision's all blurry.\nBut please, don't you worry!\nWith glasses, these wrongs can be righted.", "id": 1562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Alaska, a diner called Plato's,\nWhen laden with surplus potatoes\nAnd mack'rels called atka,\nCreated a latke:\nThe Fish Knish, served with tomatoes.", "id": 1563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Anglo-American's heading\nTo London right after his wedding.\nOn Virgin he'll ride\nWith his Tennessee bride;\nHis accent's not all he'll be shedding.", "id": 1564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cats in the mountains of Italy\nWill skitter and dart very flittily.\nThis spirit derives\nFrom their Apennine lives\u2014\nAnd I love them, kaboodle and kittily.", "id": 1565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When a plant captures spores from the breeze,\nIt produces in me a disease.\nThough I'm sure it's a fine\nAn' a mahvellous pine,\nAnemophilous pines make me sneeze.", "id": 1566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Aterian flint-headed spear\nCaused Algerian fauna to fear.\nWith its notch-ended dart,\nIt was state-of-the-art\nFor the Stone Age\u2014it blazed a frontier.", "id": 1567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The debate gave ideas an airing,\nBut the candidates' manner and bearing\nAnd their form of address\nMattered more to the press,\nNot to mention the clothes they were wearing.", "id": 1568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In ancientry people were colder;\nTo twenty they lived, seldom older.\nThey anciently huddled,\nBut some of them cuddled\nIn caves, giving friends a warm shoulder.", "id": 1569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ever after they hoped to live cheerfully,\nBut their honeymoon ended quite fearfully.\nUpon sharing his bed,\nShe lost every last shred\nOf affection for him, and fled tearfully.", "id": 1570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The farmer once harbored majestic\nAmbitions beyond his agrestic\nExistence, so rural:\nPerhaps paint a mural\nOr formulate rhymes anapestic.", "id": 1571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A confectioner, Abdul Rajit,\nWas killed in Kabul.  His afreet\nEncased his attacker\nIn chocolatey lacquer:\nRevenge, for this spirit, was sweet.", "id": 1572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though Joe made a sworn affidavit,\nThe lawyer neglected to save it.\nHis statement in writing\nWas barred from indicting\nThe perp, so in person he gave it.", "id": 1573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The clerk who dipped into the till\nSaw his wealth increase skyward from nil:\nA proud nouveau riche!\nUntil an affiche\nWas posted: A \"most-wanted\" bill.", "id": 1574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A person whose gullet's constricted\nCan't mention with what he's afflicted.\nIf no one takes note\nOf him clutching his throat,\nThen a terrible fate is predicted.", "id": 1575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Old age, to be sure, can be frightening:\nYour blood pressure's subject to heightening.\nIn this state of senescence,\nComes also albescence:\nYour hair and eyelashes start whitening.", "id": 1576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sherry called Amontillado\nWas sipped by a man with bravado.\nHe slept, then he reeled:\nHis tomb had been sealed\nWith bricks! Oh forlorn Fortunado!", "id": 1577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A symbol decidedly grand\nIs &, a.k.a., ampersand.\nIt's used in &c.\nWhat could be better? A\nWonderful way to write and.", "id": 1578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cleric, with scroll and with quill,\nInserted a long apostil:\nA note in the margin\n(A terribly large 'un)\nBecause he had much time to kill.", "id": 1579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Take an artichoke, carefully skin it;\nIn the microwave, warm it a minute.\nIt's light green and pasty\nAnd usually tasty\u2014\nBut not if its heart isn't in it.", "id": 1580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My English professor was amicable\nUntil I changed \"grammar\" to \"grammicable\"\nIn my composition:\nHis warm disposition\nSoon waned, and I failed my examicable.", "id": 1581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Late at night, when the curtains were drawn,\nMrs. Frankenstein stifled a yawn.\n\"C'mon, Frankie, let's do it!\nThere's nothing much to it\u2014\nJust actuate me. Turn me on!\"", "id": 1582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I watched her, entranced and agaze.\nI followed her 'round in a daze.\nThen finally she\nTook a long look at me.\n\"Your hair, sir,\" she said, \"is ablaze!\"", "id": 1583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I phoned my IT guy, I prayed;\nFor some filtering software I paid.\nFor a monster awaits\nPropagated by Gates,\nMachinating a spam ambuscade.", "id": 1584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Agonistic, he staked his position.\n\"I'm right. This bears loud repetition.\nYou're wrong, and what's more,\nThere are errors galore:\nYou're a counterfeit academician.\"", "id": 1585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Some beans that agronomists love\nBear their fruit underground, and above.\nAmphicarpous legumes\nSpread some seeds with their blooms,\nKeeping others secure in a glove.", "id": 1586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To his pal, while he stifled a yawn,\nStanding vigil one cold Easter dawn,\nKostas said: \"Can you flip me a\nCig? This agrypnia\nBores me; I'll pray, then I'm gone!\"", "id": 1587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I offered an anodyne thought;\nNo offense was intended or sought.\nBut your nose out of joint meant\nAn anodyne ointment\nNow soothes the black eye that I caught.", "id": 1588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There were Texans like Travis who backed it.\nDavy Crockett and loyalists packed it.\nThe defenders were wishin'\nThe Alamo mission\nWould stand, but the Mexicans sacked it.", "id": 1589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The abettor was someone who stood\nLooking out for his friend from the 'hood.\nFor assisting a crime,\nHe's today doing time.\nSome Samaritans aren't so Good.", "id": 1590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Clams and oysters are in a division\nOf Mollusca which has this provision:\nWith no head in sight,\nAcephala's right\nTo describe the whole group with precision.", "id": 1591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My sweetheart since high school, named Heather,\nFrom birth, had her lips stuck together;\nHad an adhesiotomy,\nFirst shouted \"Aha!\" to me\nThen added: \"What's up with this weather?\"", "id": 1592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Of the call girls on Central Park West,\nTatiana's the very best-dressed.\n\"I adore,\" said the whore,\n\"The ambassador more,\nBut I love the ambassadress best!\"", "id": 1593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Apitpat his heart was a-beating.\nImpatient, he hoped for a meeting\nWith Admiral Flander,\nHis naval commander,\nWhose time for appointments was fleeting.", "id": 1594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At botany, Steve was the master,\nDiscovering flowers much faster\nThan others could label;\nThey lay on the table,\nTheir interim name: adelaster.", "id": 1595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The ship, decked with crossbones and skull,\nStruck a storm; called the mate: \"Lie ahull!\"\nSoon its mainsails were furled,\nBut instead, no wind swirled:\n'Round the helm, lashed alee, was a lull.", "id": 1596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I confess to a strange peccadillo\u2014\nI sleep with a pet armadillo.\nHe looks slightly scruffy,\nHe's not even fluffy,\nBut he eats all the ants on my pillow.", "id": 1597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'd like to \"aluminate\" you.\nTo do so, some cobalt will do.\nWith alumina mix it,\nAnd then I'll transfix it:\nEnlightened? Not quite, but you're blue!", "id": 1598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With two nostrils just under its snout,\nThe shark's a keen smeller, no doubt.\nFrom Cape Town to China,\nCall sharks amphirhina,\nProficient at sniffing you out.", "id": 1599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Like diseases, some stains are emergent.\nOnce tiny, they soon become urgent\u2014\nLike the spot on the stoop\nWhere my cat likes to poop.\nBy and by, I'll apply an abstergent.", "id": 1600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bad writers commit adumbration\nWhen in their first chapter they station\nNights stormy and dark\nOr a bold question mark\nTo pre-empt their narration's stagnation.", "id": 1601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The adverb's a versatile guy:\nIt modifies verbs, low and high,\nAnd all adjectives too;\nThen it adds to the brew\nWords like also, how, when, where, and why.", "id": 1602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Humble aglets, though often unsung,\nMerit thankful acclaim from each tongue.\nThey hold laces together\nIn fair and foul weather;\nOur shoes, consequently, stay strung.", "id": 1603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An apophthegm's pithy and terse.\nIt's a maxim, for better or worse.\nFrom the Greek for \"speak out,\"\nIt resembles, no doubt,\nMany limericks\u2014minus the verse.", "id": 1604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These migraines increase, to my sorrow;\nAnalgesics I beg and I borrow,\nBut my doc is blas\u00e9\nAnd just waves me away:\n\"Take two aspirins and call me tomorrow.\"", "id": 1605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An unusual region of Greece is\nAchaea in Peloponnesus.\nSome folks living there\nBalance objects on air;\nThey are masters of telekinesis.", "id": 1606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An interesting fruit is the akee:\nScented flowers and flesh red and tacky.\nBut eat it too soon\n(Or too late), and you'll swoon.\nIt has arils that make you go wacky.", "id": 1607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ontario's got one, I'm told;\nIn England, you'll find one that's old.\nBut inside the U.S.,\nYou will find nothing less\nThan three \"Abingdons,\" lo and behold.", "id": 1608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An amazing old codger from Dallas\nDecided to live in a palace.\nHe courted six queens,\nFrom old crones to young teens.\nNow Viagra's his new digitalis.", "id": 1609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Roman lawyers of highest repute\nHaving grappled in heated dispute,\nCaesar ruled on their case\nAs a way to save face:\n\"You're both ablative, I'm absolute.\"", "id": 1610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The American foxhound does tricks\nWith some chicks on a clock that he licks.\nIf this dog sees a fox\nIn his socks, Mr. Knox,\nSir, it knocks off the fox with some bricks.", "id": 1611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The ex-zealot, once mad as a hatter,\nDespised evangelical chatter.\nWhen asked \"What's the story?\"\nShrugged: \"Adiaphory \u2014\nI'm mindful that it doesn't matter.\"", "id": 1612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When the cop saw a corpse in the bog, he\nFound something that made him quite groggy:\nGrayish fat, ear to ear.\nIt was adipocere:\nThat's what happens when dead heads get soggy.", "id": 1613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "There once was a miner named Ben\nWho was not the most gracious of men.\nWhen let into the adit,\nHe said, \"Now I've had it!\nYou gave me the shaft once again!\"", "id": 1614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "His ducks are all sorted arow:\nOne after another they go.\nAssorted by facts\nLike loudness of quacks\nAnd whether they swim fast or slow.", "id": 1615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "And like a good neighbor, they say,\nReligion will show you the way.\nAnd Apostate Farm's promise\nTo doubt-laden Thomas?\nWe'll cover his soul, should he stray.", "id": 1616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I take 'em all on, tall or short,\nAnd they sprawl by the wall, all athwart.\nIf I live by this code\nThey'll explode my abode\u2014\nBut I'll fight to the death, alamort.", "id": 1617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "One day Meg and her flea-bitten squad\nSought relief, and so beachward they trod.\nBut these dogs came a cropper:\nThe pernicious sand hopper\nLay in wait: a.k.a. amphipod.", "id": 1618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I assumed I'd been given a scam beer,\nBut she told me, \"It isn't a sham, dear.\"\nI drank it, obtuse\u2014\nIt was pure 'baccy juice,\nWhich in Dixie they speak of as ambeer.", "id": 1619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The premise on which he was basing\nHis theory of timing and spacing?\nThough bound to befuddle,\nHis \"great cosmic cuddle\"\nWas deemed, it would seem, all-embracing.", "id": 1620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To the U.S., the African daisy\nFrom Cape Town migrated like crazy.\nOn the west coast it stayed,\nChoosing not to invade\nOther regions; perhaps it was lazy.", "id": 1621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In State v. Banana, I feel,\nThe decision was far from ideal.\nThe judge called a trip\nWhat was really a slip.\nI hope it's reversed on appeal.", "id": 1622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The annuitant thought he was set:\nSeven thousand pounds down and he'd get\nThirteen hundred a year\nTo retire in good cheer\u2014\nIf he died the next day, though, he'd fret.", "id": 1623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Alternative medicine nixes\nAll pharmacological fixes.\nA nice cup of tea\nOr a pin in your knee\nWill wean you from chemical mixes.", "id": 1624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Attendance is low at my shows,\nAnd those who attend tend to doze.\nI would render a tender\nShow-ending surrender,\nBut that would upset their repose.", "id": 1625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Old Atli, the King of the Huns,\nWronged his wife, so she roasted his sons\nAnd he feasted on them!\nUnlike Labourite Clem,\nAn old Attlee who feasted on buns.", "id": 1626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Anthropophagi joined her for lunch;\nShe supplied Hostess Twinkies\u2014a bunch.\nThey enjoyed these, served fresh,\nThen the hostess's flesh\nFor dessert they proceeded to munch.", "id": 1627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Maundy Thursday, the candle that glows\nAt the altar where wafers repose\nSheds its light on the bread\nThat Christ broke 'fore He bled\nOn Good Friday, then Sunday arose.", "id": 1628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If a breeder of dogs harbors wishes\nFor dogs that can swim and fetch fishes\u2014\nA spaniel that oughter?\nAmerican water.\nIt doesn't, however, do dishes.", "id": 1629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The circular saw, I have found,\nHas uses that truly abound.\nIt cuts timbers with tangles\nAnd miters at angles\u2014\nI'd say, as a tool, it's all-round.", "id": 1630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With this limerick I bid thee adieu\n(So long, later on, toodle-oo).\nIf you want to sound French\nOn a Paris park bench,\nThen be sure that your accent is true.", "id": 1631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Its dictates I'll always obey;\nIts enemies gladly I'd slay.\nIf it isn't apparent,\nI am an adherent\u2014\nOf what? I'm afraid I can't say.", "id": 1632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Lord Nelson undoubtedly made\nThe most waves in his French escapade.\nBut the Admiralty\nSent the navy to sea,\nAnd ensured that his sailors got paid.", "id": 1633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The drunk couldn't stop at two sips; he\nContinued until he was tipsy.\nAlthough he is cursed\nWith insatiable thirst,\nHe can't be accused of adipsy.", "id": 1634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An extraterrestrial guest\nCame wandering in from the west.\nWith an almond-eyed gaze,\nIt appeared through the haze\nAnd said: \"Mulder, you're under arrest!\"", "id": 1635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Grammarians, seldom aggressive,\nAre apt to react with excessive\nConniptions of anger,\nAnd stir from their languor,\nWhen someone thinks \"it's\" is possessive.", "id": 1636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"An overgrown seagull\" is one\nOf the most indisputably fun\nCombinations of words\nFor those albatross birds\nFound in Coleridge's Rime, which I shun.", "id": 1637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When carrying logs for a fire,\nTake care not to stack them much higher\nThan one modest armful.\nMuch more would be harmful,\nResulting in injuries dire.", "id": 1638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With his twin brother Zethus, Amphion\nWas Jupiter's shamed bastard scion.\nWith his mom at a distance,\nA shepherd's assistance\nWas all that he had to rely on.", "id": 1639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you live in the water while young\nThen develop an air-breathing lung,\nYou're amphibiotic,\nWhich ain't idiotic,\nAt least if it's frogs you're among.", "id": 1640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The striker's unhindered deflection\nWent wide, then the hooligan section\nProceeded to put\nThe poor athlete's foot,\nWith his head, in their trophy collection.", "id": 1641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When finishing up at the chapel,\nMichaelangelo surely did grapple\nWith one last detail,\nWithout which he'd fail:\nPertaining to Eve and the apple.", "id": 1643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The armyworm travels en masse\nAnd consumes an abundance of grass.\nThough these larvae, like troops,\nMarch in well-ordered groups,\nTheir commanders don't ever wear brass.", "id": 1644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A rink ringed by steep sloping seats\nWas the site of superlative feats.\nThe right winger's hat trick\nWas amphitheatric:\nOne goal, loud applause, two repeats.", "id": 1645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "1350: a Hundred Years' War time,\nA deathly-diseases-galore time,\nA not-very-pleasant,\nOppressing-the-peasant,\nA-lot-like-the-present aforetime.", "id": 1646, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Evil Algol's a varying star,\nAnd the most inauspicious by far.\nWas it chance, cloaked in night,\nThat, eclipsing our sight,\nLeft the doorway of knowledge ajar?", "id": 1647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This Eden, this sun-silvered glade,\nThis fortress which Nature has made,\nThis stone-studded seat,\nWhere first words repeat:\nAnaphora, herein displayed.", "id": 1648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An alkaloid is an amine\nOn the pharmacological scene.\nThough I cannot condone\nOveruse, it's well-known\nI depend on one daily: caffeine.", "id": 1649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "From Russia, they wandered away;\nIn Alaska, decided to stay.\nThe intrepid Aleuts\nIn their watertight boots\nSettled down on an island array.", "id": 1650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "They met in Berlin, in the airlift;\nHe foolishly let their affair drift.\nHe furnished supplies;\nThey said their goodbyes,\nHer smile, so beguiling, a rare gift.", "id": 1651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At Naxos, Poseidon was blue,\nThen a nereid came into view.\nWhen he spied Amphitrite\nIn naught but a nightie,\nHe gave her an ocean or two.", "id": 1652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The dashing biologist Brian,\nWhile snorkeling reefs Uruguayan,\nFound a damsel fish, Bess,\nWho was deep in distress:\n'Twas a red-and-black striped amphiprion.", "id": 1653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When a male and a female gamete\nReproductively meet on the street,\nThey commence amphimixis:\nA bond which transfixes\nComponents of kids\u2014head to feet.", "id": 1654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Amphistomous, the flatworm is blessed\nWith a mouth on each side.  I'd suggest\nThat for sucking on flesh,\nEither rotten or fresh,\nThis fluke renders flatworms the best.", "id": 1655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My pulse was alarmingly slack,\nSo I asked what had caused this attack.\nAm I hypoglycemic?\nNot quite\u2014I'm anemic:\nIt's iron, not sugar, I lack.", "id": 1656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The north-country dialect Anglian\nIs hard, nowadays, to untanglian\nFrom the southern, or Kentish,\nOld English accentish.\nTo them, we'd sound very newfanglian.", "id": 1657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Those orchestras called philharmonic\nAnd airplanes with speeds supersonic\nFirst appeared... let me see...\nBack in 60 BC?\"\nNot quite\u2014just a tad anachronic.", "id": 1658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Do your dry-as-dust fingers defeat you?\nDid that Body Shop saleswoman cheat you?\nIf your skin makes you dither,\nPut amandine thither\u2014\nThough if you're a swordfish, they'll eat you!", "id": 1659, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "If you like to get gifts by the crateful,\nIt's important to say you are grateful.\nTo aggrate, don't delay;\nGive your thanks right away,\nLest your Christmas and birthday be fateful.", "id": 1660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Alkoxides, those rather strong bases,\nForm when protons are pulled from their places\nOff the alcohol group,\nMaking oxygens swoop\nTo snag protons back in their embraces.", "id": 1661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Having whupped the Amalekites, Saul\nSmashed up most of their swag \u2014 but not all.\n\"Spurn God's charge?\" raged a Prophet.\n\"That's His throne. Get off it!\":\nSaul's Pyrrhic Amalekite brawl.", "id": 1662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For symmetrical placement you can't\nBeat an adversifoliate plant.\nWith every stem bearing\nA side-by-side pairing\nOf leaves, it's unlikely to slant.", "id": 1663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Acroteria: head, hands, or feet,\nAlso ornaments made of concrete.\nOnce they made buildings frilly,\nWhich now would be silly:\nThat meaning today's obsolete.", "id": 1664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The vicar of Whitney-on-Wye\nTold his nephew, while munching on rye,\n\"When I die, you'll see how, son,\nMy right of advowson\nWill cover your rent 'til you die!\"", "id": 1665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Accuracy's always a virtue.\nOf this, I would like to alert you.\nAlways mind q's and p's,\nDot your i's, cross your t's,\nAnd your teacher will not controvert you.", "id": 1666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The conceptual artist, a hack,\nCovered columns with plastic, all black:\n\"Corinthian Mylar.\"\nBut they're amphistylar\u2014\nHe missed all the ones at the back.", "id": 1668, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Captain Nemo, with some of his friends,\nDown to two thousand fathoms descends.\nHe promises, \"This'll\nBe truly abyssal.\"\nReturning, he'll suffer the bends.", "id": 1669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The adjutant relays commands\nTo soldiers in faraway lands.\nIf his way he should lose,\nThen there's always Fox News\nAnd Geraldo's fine map in the sands.", "id": 1670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The actuary calculates rates\nRegarding unfortunate fates.\nHis time spent forecasting\nCan mean everlasting\nWeekends without going on dates.", "id": 1671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The acton is soft cotton shirting,\nIn place to keep chainmail from hurting.\nIt's specially quilted\nSo jousters, when jilted,\nAvoid all that gushing and spurting.", "id": 1672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The toddler received as a gift\nA present which gave her a lift:\nA helium balloon!\nBy mid-afternoon,\nShe was floating past Harrow, adrift.", "id": 1673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A tea-kettle's whistle I deem\nQuite sufficient for measuring steam.\nSome others, meanwhile\nUse an aeolipyle\nIf their taste for precision's extreme.", "id": 1674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A sailor, astern in the craft,\nWas ordered to take himself aft.\nHe responded with laughter:\n\"If I got any after\nI'd float in your wake on a raft!\"", "id": 1675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The aeriform companies' shares\nRose high, then ran into some snares.\nThe feds gave an order\n'Gainst clicks without mortar,\nAnd soon dot-com bulls became bears.", "id": 1676, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Affusion refers to the sprinkling\nOf infants, held over a sink-thing.\nIt saves souls, some are sure,\nBut the Baptists demur:\nOf sin, they say, tots have no inkling.", "id": 1677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The omelette chef (q.v. ab ovo)\nWas sacked, and departed to Provo,\nWhere a new situation\nIn food preservation\nLet him start life afresh, or de novo.", "id": 1678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An afflux of blood to the head\nFilled olden-day doctors with dread.\nWhat we'd call a tumor,\nThey'd call too much humor\nAnd solemnly order you bled.", "id": 1679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Andean goings get tough,\nThey eat rodents, among other stuff.\nThen the agile agouti,\nA long-legged beauty,\nRuns fast, but can't run fast enough.", "id": 1680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The agami's found in Brazil:\nIt's red, with a long yellow bill.\nThis species of heron\nThey say is a rare'un.\nFor birders, to spot it's a thrill.", "id": 1681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The acanthus, a prickly-leafed plant,\nIs today for the most part extant\nEngraved on the walls\nOf Greek houses and halls.\nIf you like, you can touch it; I shan't.", "id": 1682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The storm tossed the cast-iron tanker;\nIts sixty-knot winds nearly sank her.\nGood news for the crew:\nThe captain came through\nAnd remembered to lower the anchor.", "id": 1683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When cartilage is causing you pain\nBetween bones at your joints, then it's plain\n(Or at least I've a notion)\nYour limited motion\nIs amphiarthrosis again.", "id": 1684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The amply expressive embracing\nWhich followed successful girl-chasing\nIn ancient flirtation\nWas called amplexation,\nAnd oft led to corset-unlacing.", "id": 1685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Vincente at courting was artless.\nIf only he'd talked of Descartes less,\nAnd more about love\nAnd subjects thereof,\nHe wouldn't, right now, be sweetheartless.", "id": 1686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Athos and Aramis glare\nWhile Porthos is heard to declare\nThat they're all Musketeers\u2014\nBut, to quell all your fears,\nAnnette Funicello's not there.", "id": 1687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "P-king into tomato-E goop,\nD-minutive letters did group.\nI ladled A measure\nTo C, with great pleasure,\nIt spelled the words \"alphabet soup.\"", "id": 1688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The medical process ablation\nIs a surgically done amputation.\nIf you're lucky, it's simple:\nA cancerous pimple.\nIf not, you might suffer castration.", "id": 1689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A plant that's acarpous produces\nNo lemons or limes for my juices.\nI'd ask it to bear\nA banana or pear,\nBut it's fruitless. Excuses, excuses!", "id": 1690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Aspic is just fancy Jell-O,\nSo eat it, now be a good fellow.\nI admit it's not sweet\n(It's concocted from meat),\nBut that's really no reason to bellow.", "id": 1692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "She loves academe and agrees\nThat having a lot of degrees\nIs crucial for her;\nHer teachers concur,\nBut sadly, they lack expertise.", "id": 1693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though at washing I'm sure I don't bungle,\nMy feet are becoming a jungle,\nFor athlete's foot grows\nIn between all my toes\u2014\nCould you rub in this new antifungal?", "id": 1694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If vitality is your criterion\nThen I doubt you'll be learning Assyrian,\nFor the language is gone\nAnd the folks have moved on:\nSome are Arabs, and some are Siberian.", "id": 1695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and speedysnail", "limerick": "I live on a cold asteroid\nReading Skinner, Vygotsky, and Freud.\nI circle in space\nIn this fragmented place\u2014\nPsychologically speaking, a void.", "id": 1696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Acropodium comes from the Greek,\nMeaning \"topmost\" and \"foot,\" so to speak.\nIf you want, in your prose,\nTo refer to the toes,\nAcrodactylum grants what you seek.", "id": 1697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Sometimes alpha- to Greek words is wed\n(Before vow'ls, alpha nu-'s used instead).\nTheir English derivatives\nWe call alpha privatives.\nThey mean the reverse of what's said.", "id": 1698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Finest masers and cesium beckoned\nTo devise a way time could be reckoned:\nWhen the microwaves knock\nWe atomically clock\nAbout 9 billion cycles a second.", "id": 1699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Believing in atheism's nice:\nSunday sermons are rather concise.\nBut what kicked into being\nThe cosmos we're seeing?\n\"No God\" can supply no device.", "id": 1700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My back, out of whack in the spine,\nChiropractors once tried to align.\nThey kneaded and pushed,\nI groaned and they shushed\n'Til at last I yelled, \"Stop! You're malign!\"", "id": 1701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When words writ with wit well alliterate,\nSleek sibilant syllables liberate!\t\t\nSwift sounds soar cartwheeling,\nLeave pounding hearts reeling,\t\t\nAnd serve verbal curves to reiterate.\t", "id": 1702, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The worst possible way to arise?\nAn assault on the nerves, ears, and eyes!\nWith its smug LCD,\nThat alarm clock will glee-\nFully see that you unmesmerize.", "id": 1703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Amp-hours are a battery's trait\nAnd the rule we can easily state:\nA battery that powers\nTwo amps for four hours\nHas an ampere-hour rating of eight.", "id": 1704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "All sailors enjoy, as you know,\nSea shanties, spiced rum, and \"Land Ho!\"\nBut they take most delight\nNear the start of a night,\nIn a sunset's bright red afterglow.", "id": 1705, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "We intended to climb all the Alps,\nBut were standing there, scratching our scalps.\n\"There are just so damn many;\nCould we finish off any?\"\n\"We can do just one alp, if that halps.\"", "id": 1706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If you drive with excessive velocity,\nInattention might cause an atrocity.\nWe'll tarry to see\nYour horrific debris,\nStopping traffic to quell curiosity.", "id": 1707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you fear that your visit will send\nThe wrong message, don't worry, my friend.\nYou can come anytime:\nJust commit any crime.\nIn the big house, you'll never offend.", "id": 1709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When Athenian soldiers arrive,\nPoor Andromache's captured alive.\nBut we still respect her,\nThe wife of dead Hector,\nAs Asteroid One-Seven-Five.", "id": 1710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Alpha-helical forms we will find\nWhere single amino chains wind.\nTheir H-bonds are able\nTo keep them quite stable:\nThis helix is clearly defined.", "id": 1711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In agar I'm culturing bugs\nThat I'll feed to some most willing slugs\nWho will quickly profess\nThe gelatinous mess\nIs useless for making new drugs.", "id": 1712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My son was a young adoptee.\nI found him asleep in a tree.\nI thought him pre-human\nAnd named him Hanuman,\nBut perhaps he's a smart chimpanzee.", "id": 1713, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm accused of a horrible crime\u2014\nIn a lim'rick I thought was sublime,\nMy fanciful meter\nWould suddenly teeter,\nAnd my first and last lines didn't rhyme.", "id": 1714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I wanted this rhyme to appear\nVery clever and full of good cheer \u2014\nBut it's rainy today,\nThe skies are quite grey,\nAnd the world and my verse look quite drear.", "id": 1715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Anticyclones are circling highs\nAnd producers of fair-weather skies.\nIn the earth's northern parts\nThey go clockwise; on charts\nIn the southern, the converse applies.", "id": 1716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Call me Ahab; let Ishmael turn pale\nThat I'm the one telling his tale.\nBut the captain (that's me)\nIs in charge, you'll agree\u2014\nAnd 'twas I who obsessed on the whale.", "id": 1717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Antechapel, beyond the back pew,\nHid the bride and her father from view;\nAntechoir hid the groom\nAnd his men in its room\nWhile the church filled with kin of the two.", "id": 1718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English and Virge", "limerick": "Abfarad's a massive amount,\nA whole billion farads its count;\nA capacitance unit\nSo large we lampoon it;\nA measure of major account.", "id": 1720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The gourmet, blessed with taste unsurpassed,\nEmerged from the diner aghast.\nHis look of revulsion\nCame from the emulsion\nOf grease dripping from his repast.", "id": 1721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The clothes of today's adolescents\nAre cursed with nonstop obsolescence.\nWhat fit well last week,\nOn a growing physique,\nIs now rendered too small by accrescense.", "id": 1722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'll tell you the names of some Agas\nWho feature in Pakistan's sagas:\nMuhammad, Karim,\nAli Shah. It would seem\nThat none had a liking for haggis.", "id": 1723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "There once was an aardwolf from Guelph\nWho answered, sometimes, to \"aardwuelph.\"\n\"It strikes me as foul,\"\nHe said with a scowl,\n\"Eight aardvarks; just three for myself!\"", "id": 1724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The knave gave his date an anemone\nWhich helped him exert his hegemony,\nRomantically speaking.\nSoon bedsprings were creaking\nIn his out-of-the-way Agapemone.", "id": 1725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The review might have happily ended\nIf not for the fine print appended.\nSome notes were adjoined\nWhich revealed newly coined\nInterjections for \"not recommended.\"", "id": 1726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Side orders aren't always nutritious;\nThey're often, however, delicious.\nFrench fries, mashed potatoes,\nBaked beans with tomatoes\nTo entr\u00e9es remain adscititious.", "id": 1727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Bedlamite told me a story\nRegarding a spongiform lorry\nWith pencils for vents.\nIt lacked any sense:\nA case of advanced amphigory.", "id": 1728, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Acoustical tile's on my floor.\nIt's glued up and down my front door.\nIt's up on the ceiling\nWhere paint was still peeling.\nNow no one can hear when I snore.", "id": 1729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "We have reached a delicious accord.\nI can keep all I've managed to hoard.\nWhen it comes to divorce\nI don't ever endorse\nGenerosity one can't afford.", "id": 1730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My collar is aquamarine.\nThat's a color, a nice bluish-green \u2014\nUnless (is this true?)\nIt's a nice greenish-blue.\nWell, whatever, it has a nice sheen.", "id": 1731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Amadeus made famous a giggle\nSo infectious it caused me to wriggle.\nWhen laughed by Tom Hulce,\nIt made me convulse,\nThen roll on my back and just wiggle.", "id": 1732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My cousin admits to defeat.\nShe tried to bake bread from whole wheat.\nIt was heavy as lead,\nSo she took to her bed.\nAt least she has matzohs to eat.", "id": 1733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Apart from my talent for rhyme,\nI know how to wag double-time.\nBut what I love best,\nBesides anapest,\nIs rolling around in the grime.", "id": 1735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The seven celestial sisters\nAll dallied with heavenly misters,\nAnd on darkest of nights\nIn these Pleiades lights,\nAlcyone's star really glisters.", "id": 1736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When lava flows runny and slow-y,\nIt cools to smooth pahoehoe.\t\nIf the strain rate is high\nOther forces apply,\nAnd the aa forms, rubbly, not showy.", "id": 1737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Judge Heavyman (thick in the thighs)\nRounded up all his peers, sage and wise.\nWhen a page on the spot\nSaw the sight, he could not\nBut exclaim, \"What a gen'rous assize!\"", "id": 1738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "From the pacemaker's lofty abode\nComes the signal to beat; and its road\nIs a systole fall,\nDown the right septal wall,\nThrough the atrioventricular node.", "id": 1739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have acres of arable land.\nI'm lucky that none of it's sand.\nIt's my vineyard to be,\nPinot Noir just for me \u2014\nAmbrosia is what I have planned.", "id": 1740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm trapped in this air lock, old pal.\nThe bay doors are locked.  No morale!\nIt's so very odd\nTo be barred from the pod.\nPlease open the doors, will you, Hal?", "id": 1741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Afternoons are the best time of day.\nI eat, then I rest, then I play.\nI sit out on the chaise\nAnd I happily gaze\nAt all that is passing my way.", "id": 1742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An Apache of warlike appearance\nThought my terror was mere interference\nSo he shot his sharp arrow\nRight into my marrow,\nAccounting for my incoherence.", "id": 1743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl and Znirk", "limerick": "When alien monsters break free\nAnd attack in a brain-eating spree,\nDon't jump up in alarm, lest\nYou jostle your armrest\nAnd topple your drink on my knee.", "id": 1744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An Aussie bloke knows how to foight\n'Is opponents with all of 'is moight.\n'E's dext'rous an' skilled\nAn' never gets killed;\nYou could say that 'e is adroit.", "id": 1745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An ape at the top of his tree\nSaid, \"I'm up at the apex, I see.\nI'm so 'appy up 'ere;\nI've a view without peer\nOf that bee farm, or apiary.\"", "id": 1746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O and Workshop", "limerick": "If fortunes should suddenly stagnate,\nIt helps if your father's a magnate;\nOr else his, I suppose,\nIf inheritance flows\nFrom a kinsman paternal, an agnate.", "id": 1748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Hi! It's me, Agar Agar, the flake.\nI would rather be waving at hake.\nBut when cut, crushed, and dried\nI'm the seaweed whose pride\nIs the stiff kosher gels that I make.", "id": 1749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The chemist was proud of his daughter,\nWho learned nearly all that he taught her.\nHer amidin soup\nWas fabulous goop:\nSome starch that dissolved into water.", "id": 1750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With antonomasia, your fame\n(Through a byword) replaces your name:\nHence Chaplin \"The Tramp,\"\nTheda Bara \"The Vamp,\"\nAnd Sinatra \"Old Blue Eyes\" became.", "id": 1751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "How tr\u00e8s debonaire you've become!\nYou carry yourself with aplomb.\nI adore how you strut,\nBut you do undercut\nThis by constantly sucking your thumb.", "id": 1752, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Did you know that the Greeks coined a word\nFor reductions that reach the absurd?\nWhen you're done being logical\nBe apagogical!\nImpossible not to, I've heard.", "id": 1753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A case of mistaken identity\nPromoted my airline serenity.\nMy \"John Elton\" ID\nMeant an upgrade for free:\nThe leg room was quite an amenity.", "id": 1754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Steve's next destination? New Guinea,\nAn island where he got the skinny\nAbout apostasia,\nAn orchid from Asia:\nThree stamens, not one, made him grinny.", "id": 1755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The tennis pro played with a sore hand\nWhich soon started hurting some more, and\nHe thereby desisted\n(His trainer insisted)\nFrom swatting in practice aforehand.", "id": 1756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That she pours and she splatters won't taint her.\nShe is chic \u2014 she's today's action painter.\nThrough she's trendy and nifty,\nBy the year 2050\nNo style will seem odder or quainter.", "id": 1757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Hans-Peter Reich", "limerick": "Aachen, an old German city,\nWas named by a witty committee.\nThey couldn't resist\nBeing first on each list.\nAnd besides that, it's also quite pretty!", "id": 1758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The recruiter was fulsome and smarmy,\nBut I nonetheless joined this man's army.\nWith my first bayonet\nI was filled with regret,\nAnd I think they'd be wise to disarm me.", "id": 1759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An adjunct that seems unessential\nCan often be quite influential.\nAn example is \"wee\"\n(Which expresses degree)\nIn the phrase, \"He's a wee presidential.\"", "id": 1760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Cleopatra, lovelorn and depressed,\nSought the bite of an asp at her breast.\n'Twas a lit'ral angina\nPectoris (well, kinda:\nHers didn't portend heart arrest).", "id": 1761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A person who's said to be active\nIs different from one who's inactive:\nThis latter will shirk\nAny effort or work,\nAn attitude most unattractive.", "id": 1762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "If your work has been trustily done\nAnd you're sailing off into the sun,\nThe great masts of your craft\nCast their trace, fore and aft:\nTheir shadows alongship will run.", "id": 1763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "With stuff in the store so appealing,\nI practiced my wheeling and dealing;\nIf stuff is acquirable,\nIt must be desirable:\nNow my house is all stuffed, floor to ceiling.", "id": 1764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Whenever I said \"apartheid,\"\nMy South African friends almost died.\n\"In our segregate state,\nIt was called apartheid,\nOr it was before Nelson,\" they cried.", "id": 1765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Antecedence: occurring before.\nFall asleep in relation to snore\nAnd success to ovations\nAre two illustrations.\nSee chicken and egg for some more.", "id": 1766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "San Francisco's where George left his heart,\nHis love having torn it apart.\nIn time, his aorta\n(The left part\u2014well, sorta)\nDecided to make a new start.", "id": 1767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "While playing a game of canasta,\nI noticed a worm in my pasta:\nSome moth larvae squirming\nWent far toward confirming\nMy dinner contained Anagasta.", "id": 1768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An unemployed tailor named Walter\nFound nothing to sew, not a halter,\nA shirt or a blouse.\nNow in the poorhouse,\nHe's hoping his fortunes to alter.", "id": 1770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Sir Henry, a hard-drinking vicar,\nSlouched cellarward, candle aflicker.\nIts flame, though not bright,\nShed light on his plight:\nHe'd guzzled the last of his liquor.", "id": 1771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Alumni of Ivy League schools\nAre not often thought of as fools,\nBut reading the dailies\nMakes me doubt about Yalies,\nWho may have their own set of rules.", "id": 1772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Don Juan invades an alcazar,\nClimbing in where the holes full of glass are,\nHe can make Ladies weak\nWith his hair black and sleek:\nHis pomade is the oil of Macassar.", "id": 1773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The Airstream's a trailer of fame\nWith streamlined design (hence the name).\nIts aluminum shell\nCasts a vagabond spell\nThat a stay-at-home heart cannot tame.", "id": 1774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ancient Egypt had sites full of tombs.\nAbydos came first, one presumes,\nWith hundreds of mummies\n(Some rolled on their tummies)\nIn dozens of underground rooms.", "id": 1775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Sometimes English may seem like a plot.\nIt has allomorphs, yes, quite a lot.\nIs it fancy or whim\nThat the prefixes im-,\nIr-, il-, un-, in-, and non- all mean not?", "id": 1776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Count your equal-sized chromosome factions\nThat result from meiotic cell actions.\nAny integer's fine.\nThey're called euploid: good sign!\nBut you're aneuploid when you get fractions.", "id": 1777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Go and spin a ship's wheel. Pick a section.\nImagine its downward projection\nOn the plane of the deck.\nThe line traced by this speck\nIndicates the athwartships direction.", "id": 1778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Take an alkane, and pick a location;\nPop an \"H\" off \u2014 a curious castration! \u2014\nThat's an alkyl you've got.\nIf you plug the sore spot\nWith a compound, that's called alkylation.", "id": 1779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "When you play allargando it means\nThat you pace with the grandness of queens.\nBut the literal term\nMeans your belly's not firm\nAnd you no longer fit in your jeans.", "id": 1780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Fetoproteins, unseen since the womb,\nWhen they surge late in life, may spell doom.\nIf they're alpha, the answer\nMay be liver cancer \u2014\nMore tests may yet save you from gloom.", "id": 1781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Secretions will vary by gland\nAs to how the secreting is planned.\nCells could fill up with juice\n(Whole or part), then cut loose;\nThat's the holo- or apocrine brand.", "id": 1782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "If a crystal's anhydrous, its knack\nIs to filch H2O, then to pack\nIt in holes finely set\nSo the powder's not wet.\nSome change color when water comes back.", "id": 1783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the food critic emptied  his plate,\nHe'd critique every mouthful he ate.\nAfter seconds (and thirds!)\nYou could see that his words\nAnd his arches would carry great weight.", "id": 1784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anatomically speaking, you're bony.\nYou're jug-eared, you're also hormoney.\nFrom your toes to your chin,\nYou're all covered in skin.\nIn summation, you're full of baloney.", "id": 1785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Most viewers of TV athleticism\nLike practising low-key propheticism:\nPredicting who'll win\nOr who'll wallop their shin;\nBut I'm into body aestheticism.", "id": 1786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The alderfly, insect neuropterous,\nHas wings; its relations psocopterous\nEither may or may not,\nAlthough no bug has got\nAny wings that rotate helicopterous.", "id": 1787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I like my potatoes al dente.\nTo cook them ten minutes is plente,\nSo they don't turn to mush\nOr primordial slush\nLike they do when you boil them for twente.", "id": 1788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "We must not confuse with sterility\nOur grasp of the crucial ability\nTo stop overmanning\nThrough family planning\u2014\nThe practice of antifertility.", "id": 1789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Academe: mythic landscape of groves\nWhere professors and similar coves\nSit debating for hours\nIn their ivory towers\nWearing hideous tweedy old clothes.", "id": 1790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An arrogant lad from Madrid\nWas so certain that all that he did\nWas so noble and strong,\nAnd could never be wrong,\nThat he took on the name of \"El Cid.\"", "id": 1791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "They say that it's all in the gene\u2014\nYour character, heart, liver, spleen.\nThus some traits allelic\nCould make you angelic,\nWhile others could render you mean.", "id": 1792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "You should always be sure to accredit\nA statement when someone else said it.\nProvide information\nRe: its publication,\nTo give the appearance you've read it.", "id": 1793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To stimulate germ execution,\nThe Pope promised full absolution\nTo those who had showered\nAnd constantly scoured:\nThough sinful, they'd mastered ablution.", "id": 1794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My son, when he first played with Play-Doh,\nHis energy like a tornado,\nHeaved missiles at dozens\nOf uncles and cousins,\nAll trapped in a grand ambuscado.", "id": 1795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "In Altdorf the natives enjoy\nShooting apples off Bill's little boy.\nThey honour therewith\nThe hero of myth\nWho managed the fruit to destroy.", "id": 1796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a man found quite dead,\nWith just seven teeth in his head.\nThey were quite widely spaced,\nVery artfully placed \u2014\nWell, that's what the coroner said.", "id": 1797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Amblingly, Amber approached,\nTray aloft as she'd often been coached.\nThis gait, as a rule,\nBoosted tips and looked cool,\nBut she tripped, bringing scrambled, not poached.", "id": 1798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Something antipoetic declines\nTo fit poetry's rules: that defines\nWhat is meant by the word.\nSome examples conferred\nAre an ode that's absurd,\nSonnet meter that's blurred,\nOr a lim'rick with two extra lines.", "id": 1799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When I heard them say \"Royal Assent,\"\nI didn't know quite what was meant.\nDid the Queen (or Prince Phil?)\nJust approve a new Bill,\nOr proceed up a hill with intent?", "id": 1800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I just lost a friend, a fine dancer.\nHer disease, the M.D.s couldn't answer.\nThe chemo she tried,\nBut still, sadly, she died.\nNow I wish for more drugs anticancer.", "id": 1801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "A young Brit broke the law; he was bad,\nBut more studies remained for the lad.\nSo they shipped him away\nTo approved school, to stay\nUntil he quit being a cad.", "id": 1802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "annegram", "limerick": "Puss never could chase down a rat,\nBeing far too ungainly for that.\nShe instead spent her time\nMeowing in rhyme.\nShe was quite an atypical cat.", "id": 1803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "While walking among Alyce clover,\nOn wanting some fresh, I bent over\nTo pick up the bloom\n(It's an Old World legume)\nTo place in a vase there in Dover.", "id": 1804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The cleric progressed down the aisle,\nAspergillum processing in style.\nHoly water's mark missed.\nNow I'm clenching my fist\n'Cause that guy musta mist by a mile.", "id": 1805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "On tRNA there resides\nA triplet of nucleotides.\nAnticodons I.D.\nThe aminos for me\nMatching acids like grooms with their brides.", "id": 1806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The antennule will flick to and fro\nOn a lobster, thus letting it know\nWhat's up in the water.\nThat aerial oughter\nGet channels like H2BO.", "id": 1807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Why must you be antagonistic?\nI'd swear that you're going ballistic.\nAll I did was suggest,\n\"Try not being a pest.\"\nAnd now we're at cuffs almost fistic.", "id": 1808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I have a young lady in mind\nWhose name means \"relates to mankind.\"\nBut what's sadly perverse,\nShe thinks men are a curse.\nMiss Anthropic, you need to unwind.", "id": 1809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Your soap should be antibacterial\nWhen killing off germs is material.\nBut washing won't work\nWhen the bug is a jerk\nAt your office, and he's managerial.", "id": 1810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "When you feel that you must antecede,\nYou of course need a deed to precede.\nIf that deed is completed\nToo soon, you're defeated,\nAnd traveling in time is your need.", "id": 1811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "If you're lacking in skilled analytics,\nYour analyses puzzle your critics.\nAnd the part where you say\n\"If not B implies A,\"\nMakes their brains feel like joints of arthritics.", "id": 1812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "To render one's skin tone patrician\nIs the goal of a pro aesthetician.\nBut if looks can kill\n(And sometimes they will),\n'Tis better to see a mortician.", "id": 1813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The succulent green aloe vera:\nA plant whose soft gel can repair ya.\nOn your skin put a dab\nFor a burn, scrape, or scab;\nIt's the purest first aid of our era.", "id": 1814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The quite punctuational asterisk*\nAids readers in learning facts faster\u2014whisk\nYour eyes down the text\nTo the reference that's next;\n*You must read the fine print, or disaster risk.", "id": 1815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A modern-day Little Miss Muffet,\nWho made her own whey and could tough it,\nHad no fear at all\nOf bugs, big or small.\nIf she spied an arachnid, she'd snuff it.", "id": 1816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "An acephalous thing has no head,\nLike a tribe with no leader, it's said.\nWhen poetically put,\nA line lacks its first foot.\n. . . what I've recently read.", "id": 1817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Not adept at creating a pie?\nTo be expert, change  short'ning and try\nSome adeps and for sure,\nWith this hog fat that's pure,\nYou'll be praising the lard by and by.", "id": 1818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "As she was transcribing one day,\nAn amanuensis did say,\n\"I need a vacation\nFrom taking dictation,\nBut since we're shorthanded, I'll stay.\"", "id": 1819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A tree in a West Indies grove\nHints of cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove.\nSince the flavors seem joined,\nThe name allspice was coined.\nIts berry's the berries, by Jove!", "id": 1820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Workshop", "limerick": "My knowledge of meter was poor.\nThe suggestions you made I adore.\nMy works did improve;\nYou've given them groove.\nI propose to compose even more.", "id": 1821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "When a person's asocial, you'll find\nThat he's selfish, withdrawn, and unkind.\nAntisocial ones act\nFar more hostile; in fact,\nTo despise you they might be inclined.", "id": 1822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Soldiers' legs, if positioned at ease,\nForm an angle of twenty degrees.\nWhen they're brought to attention,\nThe angle I mention\nDepends on the width of their knees!", "id": 1823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My teacher, when drunk, would attest:\n\"Too much of a good thing is best.\"\nCiting this as Confucian\nIs false attribution\u2014\n'Twas actually said by Mae West.", "id": 1824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My cat's lost his former agility,\nBut his mind is untouched by senility.\nNow he follows the mice\nWith a tracking device\u2014\nI reckon that's adaptability!", "id": 1825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Anthropometry is my profession,\nSo I'll measure, in rapid succession,\nAll your features of note\nBelow knee, above throat\u2014\nAnd the middle bits too (with discretion!)", "id": 1826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Anglocentrism needs some corrective:\nIt looks from an English perspective\nAt how the world's myst'ry\nUnravels in hist'ry\u2014\nAnd therefore it's far too selective.", "id": 1827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The parking attendant declined\nTo direct me to where I could find\nA large enough bay\nFor my huge Chevrolet\u2014\nThe attendant result?  I got fined!", "id": 1828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Dilemmas uniquely Aleutian,\nWhere a map must provide the solution:\nJust how do you say\nIf tomorrow's today\nOr if you're a Yank or a Roo-sian?", "id": 1829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Snake-embracer Ben Snodgrass is missing:\nHe and fair Anaconda were kissing,\nShe opened too wide,\nAnd he fell right inside\u2014\nNow it's Benny puree that she's pissing.", "id": 1830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey and mike scholtes", "limerick": "These athletes all seem quite antaean!\nTheir strength and size? Huge! They must be in\nA paranoid state\nFrom the steroids they ate,\nWhen they're given a cup to go pee in.", "id": 1831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Though it shows little style and less flair,\nA sleeveless coat made of goat's hair\nIs an aba in Syria\nAnd meets the criteria\nFor a chic fashion statement out there.", "id": 1832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "When you stand at an old bowser pump\nDon't let your attentiveness slump.\nYou just might overfill\nAnd get hit with the bill,\nWhile the gas flows back into the sump.", "id": 1833, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "\"What's wrong with my book?\" I then pleaded.\n\"The ending is good,\" he conceded.\n\"The plot is quite strong,\nBut it's overly long.\nAn abridgement may be what is needed.\"", "id": 1834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There's little that raises false hopes\nLike our antimicrobial soaps,\nFor the strains they should kill\nJust return stronger still,\nAnd could soon have us all on the ropes.", "id": 1835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "On account of bananas his Basset ate,\nThe vicar could not serve the Mass at eight.\nSaid the vet, \"I have found\nWhat is ailing your hound.\nIt's the oils: he can't take amyl acetate.\"", "id": 1836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Certain enzymes, at sites allosteric,\nCan bind compounds producing numeric\nAdjustments in speed\nSo reactions will heed\nRegulation of sorts esoteric.", "id": 1837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "When big business declares that you must\nBelieve what they say \u2014 give them trust \u2014\nThough their ads may be brash,\nKeep your head (and your cash),\nAnd remember the word antitrust.", "id": 1838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The dysfunction that's known as acrania\nIs no mental disorder or mania.\nIt's not \"all in your head.\"\nIt's what's not there instead.\nWith no skull bone, life's far from mundania.", "id": 1839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "If your cornea's shape is erratic,\nThe effect can be somewhat dramatic.\nYou lads and you lasses\nWill all need eyeglasses\nTo see, 'cause you're all astigmatic.", "id": 1840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Use your index to point, thumb to twiddle.\nUse your pinkie to pluck on a fiddle.\nUse your ring one to marry\n(It's named annulary).\nUse discretion when using your middle.", "id": 1841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rusty", "limerick": "Abdominales: fish with their pecs\nFore their ventrals and aft of their necks.\nThese finny protrusions\nCause cuts and contusions.\nGod knows how they manage safe sex!", "id": 1842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Young girls used to walk down the aisle\nWhen wedding while young was the staisle.\nNow, to see Mr. Right\nDown that aisle of white,\nI'll wager you're waiting a whaisle.", "id": 1843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My new next-door neighbor's a louse.\nI'll tell you my reason to grouse\n(It's rather dramatic):\nHis huge Asiatic\nElephant knocked down my house.", "id": 1844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Our cells have no bleaker prognosis\nThan a self-death by sad apoptosis.\nThese poor cells, findings say,\nChoose to end their tough day.\nHm, perhaps they seek metempsychosis?", "id": 1845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The shepherd to silence was sworn,\nHis welcome completely outworn\nBy constantly going\nAround, always blowing\nA seventeen-foot alpenhorn.", "id": 1846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Most trees have three layers, so learn 'em:\nThey're inner bark, hard wood, alburnum.\nThe sap from the third\n(Or at least so I've heard)\nTends to stick to a tree hugger's sternum.", "id": 1847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some girls seem to have an affinity\nFor a boy who displays asininity,\nWith a face frankly mulish,\nBehavior quite foolish \u2014\nTheir dream of extreme masculinity.", "id": 1848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've penned all these lim'ricks already.\nThey and I are about to go steady.\nI'm a serious poet,\nBut few of you know it,\nSo I'm going to bed with my teddy.", "id": 1849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Fair Alderney, island of Channel!\nYour name graces many an annal.\nThough I see also now\nIt refers to a cow...\nTell me, who was on that naming panel?", "id": 1850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aliteracy: yes, you can read,\nBut the thought of it bores you indeed.\nOne look at a book\nAnd your noggin's all shook,\nAnd a newspaper makes your eyes bleed.", "id": 1851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The Anglos (American Whites)\nAren't angles, though many are \"rights.\"\nAnd when dressed in a suit\nSome are even \"a-cute.\"\n\"Obtuse\" ones? You'll count 'em for nights!", "id": 1852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The amnion cushions the fetus;\nIt'll break, he'll emerge and will meet us.\nThe baby's the sweetest;\nThat time is the neatest!\nAs a teen, though, he'll not even greet us.", "id": 1853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An Aedes mosquito can spread\nA bad virus like butter on bread;\nAn overachiever,\nIt spreads yellow fever,\nOr dengue, or Zika, instead.", "id": 1854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The loggerheads\u2014turtle and shrike\u2014\nNest in Loggerhead Key, past the dike.\nA three-wheeled ATV\nBuzzed their nests, so you see\nThey're at loggerheads fighting a trike.", "id": 1855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Antiprotons and protons can scatter\nWhen the former encounter the latter.\nThey are equally large,\nBut have opposite charge.\nPost-collision, they('re) no longer matter.", "id": 1856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In writing this latest submission,\nI wanted a brief definition.\nNot everyone knows\nWhat it means to appose:\nTo place things in juxtaposition.", "id": 1857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In an edited televised scene,\nA low aspect ratio's routine.\nWhen the formatting's done,\n1.33 to 1\nIs the width to the height on your screen.", "id": 1858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The junta's designs to rule Quito\nFell prey to the tiniest veto.\nIts leader's sad plight?\nA malarial bite\nBy anopheles, killer mosquito.", "id": 1859, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abnormal means \"deviant or strange\"\nOr \"out of the usual range\",\nSuch as leaves that are blue\nOr a mauve cockatoo\nOr a cabbie who has the right change.", "id": 1860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adambulacral means found\nSomewhere near ambulacra, around\nA part of the starfish\n(That rather bizarre fish) \u2014\nThe creases where tube feet abound.", "id": 1861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg and Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Mrs. Abington oft starred in plays\nIn the seventeen-hundreds (old days).\nWhile Reynolds did paint her,\nThere's no cause to saint her,\nThough fashion and style earned her praise.", "id": 1862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Rick traced the acrostic with glee.\n\"Hey, I've aced every clue\u2014lucky me!\nI will now, unrehearsed,\nRead the first letters first,\nRevealing Its Camouflaged Key!\"", "id": 1863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "\"The science of gases at rest\nAnd of lighter-than-air craft,\" she stressed\u2014\n\"In short, aerostatics\u2014\nBallooning fanatics\nMust learn for the licensing test.\"", "id": 1864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Holmes and Watson are now in disgrace\nAt the Embassy, having laid chase\n(While exceedingly drunk)\nTo a diplomat's trunk,\nCrying, \"We'll crack the attach\u00e9 case!\"", "id": 1865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "My unidirectional horse\nAlways follows a northerly course,\nSince the evening we met\nWith a hypnotist vet\nWho applied Doctor Mesmer's strange force.", "id": 1866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "Mr. Dodge thought himself very clever,\nSo he planned a most artful endeavor.\nHe did try (or attempt)\nTo become tax-exempt,\nBut he failed. Now he's locked up forever.", "id": 1867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "While held in dark Winter's cold thrall,\nI so oft find it hard to recall\nThat beneath her deep snows\nLies the Earth in repose,\nTo awaken at April's loud squall.", "id": 1868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Amobarbital puts me to sleep\nWith no tossing, no counting of sheep.\nAnd let's not neglect\nThat its calming effect\nBlunts the shock of its price. (Rather steep!)", "id": 1870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "City Council was made ill at ease\nNot by grievances, writs, or decrees;\nBut its leader, remiss,\nCalled on \"Alderman Chris.\"\n\"Alderwoman,\" she huffed, \"if you please.\"", "id": 1871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "\"What you seek,\" the geologist said,\n\"Is called anglesite \u2014 sulfate of lead.\nFind a white crystal spike\nOn the ground as you hike,\nBut it's brittle, so watch where you tread.\"", "id": 1872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The Phoenician queen deity of\nFertility, warfare, and love\n(To the Hebrews, the same\nBore the \"Ashtoreth\" name)\nHad for symbols the bull and the dove.", "id": 1873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Ere chemicals start to react,\nThey need energy added \u2014 that's fact.\nBut you need far less heat\nThanks to enzymes' neat feat\nIn your gastrointestinal tract.", "id": 1874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife has arrived at the store\nWay ahead, by an hour or more,\nOf the sale at ten.\nShe is early again!\nOn a scale of when, she's afore.", "id": 1875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A fawning, obsequious guy\nWho's polishing apples can't buy\nThat place in a heart\nWhich sets one apart\nAs the apple of somebody's eye.", "id": 1876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "\"And now, mi amigo, your horse\u2014\nThat includes those alforjas, of course.\"\nIn his need or his greed,\nHe who stole my fine steed\nAnd my saddlebags showed no remorse.", "id": 1877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "With an allergy Susan was stricken,\nFor algins would cause her to sicken.\nHer son-in-law, flustered,\nPut some in her custard.\nThe plot and the pudding both thicken.", "id": 1878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "All your carbon's in strings?  Aliphatic.\nIn benzene hex rings?  Aromatic.\nThe cycles remain,\nBut it acts like a chain?\nAlicyclic is idiomatic.", "id": 1879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Two aesthetes, their friendship debased,\nTook their jackets and ties off in haste,\nTo decide with their bunches\nOf pinches and punches\nJust who had more delicate taste.", "id": 1880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though all day we've been crouching in ditches,\nWith dogtags and ammo and itches,\nWe cannot afford\nTo get careless or bored,\nOr our aidman will have us in stitches.", "id": 1881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Lithium, sodium (shun!),\nPotassium (used in a gun),\nRubidium, francium,\nCesium \u2014 fancy 'em?\nAlkali metals (Group I).", "id": 1882, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Last night wayward witches ran free.\nI gave gifts in response to their plea.\nBut today I will praise\nHoly saints and their ways,\nFor today is All Saints' Day, you see.", "id": 1883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Take two lines, with a third drawn transverse.\nOf eight angles, four pairs are converse.\nThose are alternate angles.\n(A picture untangles\nThe yarn, but this verse is too terse.)", "id": 1884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I was hunting for birds for my pot.\nIf I spied one, I squeezed off a shot.\nEvery last one I missed!\nSo, while shaking my fist,\nI aimlessly trudged 'round the lot.", "id": 1885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Animators give life to cartoons\nAnd enliven your dull afternoons.\nI bought sketches one drew\u2014\nNow I'm dating her, too!\nSee? Not all of us buffs are buffoons!", "id": 1886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I once saw a cliff in a park\nOf obsidian, glassy and dark.\nIts Apache-shed tears\nWere the best souvenirs.\n\"Don't take them!\" the rangers would bark.", "id": 1887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Should atherogenesis loom,\nLess cholesterol must you consume,\nElse the fats will collect\n'Til your artery's wrecked\nAnd your ticker's tape talks of your doom.", "id": 1888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "There's nothing that's surer or purer\nFor raising a Lloyd's member's furor\nThan sending in claims\nIn multiple names\nFor one loss when they're the assuror.", "id": 1889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If flexing your joints makes you faint,\nAnd you want to unbend them but cain't;\nIf your children all sniff,\n\"Oh, you're just an old stiff!\"\nAnkylosis might be your complaint.", "id": 1890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An aphorist's just the right man\nIf a ten-second soundbite's your plan.\nBut if you would muster\nA long filibuster,\nThen find someone else if you can.", "id": 1891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A medium known as Miss Clare\nDisliked getting up from her chair.\n\"Why should I run races\nTo faraway places\nWhen, astrally speaking, I'm there?\"", "id": 1892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Duke William decided\u2014for kicks\u2014\nThat he'd give Harold's army some licks\n(Dunno why\u2014maybe bored)\nIn the year of our Lord\nAnno Domini 1066.", "id": 1893, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Virge", "limerick": "Every wave that goes up must come down\nAnd describing its height is a noun:\nThe amplitude speaks\nOf the top voltage peaks\nFrom Con Ed when it powers your town.", "id": 1894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I am antipathetic to sea:\nIts heaving and swell have to be\nDisincentives to cross while\nThat ocean is hostile\nAnd antipathetic to me.", "id": 1895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "On return from a run round the block,\nI felt my toes itch in my sock.\nThe reason was gross, this\nDermatophytosis\u2014\nTo you, athlete's foot.  Help me, Doc!", "id": 1896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "When through marriage two fam'lies combine,\nEach new relative's called an affine.\n\tSaying in-laws sounds crass,\n\tWhile affines have got class.\nBut you're still bloody welcome to mine.", "id": 1897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Soon after their Master ascended,\nTo their Creed the Apostles attended.\nThe three-in-one matter\nWas first on their platter;\nWith \"life everlasting\" it ended.", "id": 1898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If a princess one day in a bog\nLeaned over and kissed a huge frog\nAnd a prince then appeared,\nShe'd be suitably cheered,\nBut I would just stand there agog.", "id": 1899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "First some flour and egg whites you take.\nAdd some sugar, stir briskly, and bake.\nThen allow it to cool.\nIt'll cause you to drool,\nThis dessert known as angel food cake.", "id": 1900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "One word means delight, and constrain,\nSurprise, pity, threaten, complain.\n\"Say ah,\" my Doc said;\nMy jaw locked up instead:\nI regret I'm \"ah\"stricken in pain.", "id": 1901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I agree with you, fella \u2014 and how!\nI'll be truly emphatic \u2014 and now\nI'll jump up and rap,\nMy hands I will clap,\nAnd I'll toss my cap skyward \u2014 and bow.", "id": 1902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When a blustery headwind blows past,\nThen you might think your flight is a blast.\nWhat an airspeed \u2014 just read it!\n(It's folly to heed it:\nYou're not goin' anyplace fast.)", "id": 1903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Have Mildred make trips to the bank;\nGive ledgers to balance to Frank.\nYou can have the last laugh\nWhen you allocate staff;\nIt's a perk of superior rank.", "id": 1904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The barnstorming botanist, Steve,\nGrew an orchid: the Adam and Eve.\nReddish-pink on the spectrum,\nIt's called an aplectrum,\nWhich means \"without spur,\" I believe.", "id": 1905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The handicapped man told his story\u2014\nIndeed, it was revelatory.\nHe'd lost both his legs\nAnd, allergic to pegs,\nHad forsworn being ambulatory.", "id": 1906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "This denying myself (abnegation),\nHas been tough in the face of temptation,\nBut I've done it just fine\nSince a quarter to nine\nAnd I feel that I've earned a vacation.", "id": 1907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At the party the Communist, Fred,\nDespaired at the ladies, and said:\n\"Although you are hot chicks,\nYou're just apparatchiks:\nYou'd rather be red than in bed!\"", "id": 1908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When ageing, a man calmly faces\nThe fact he'll no longer win races.\nBut the bitterest pill\nIs he finds that he still\nGets stiff \u2014 but in all the wrong places!", "id": 1909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Over airwaves they broadcast for free\nTo your radio and your TV,\nBut the gain has a cost:\nWho can measure what's lost\nWhen incessant commercials you flee?", "id": 1910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Returning from space is no breeze:\nYou get fired to a zillion degrees.\nThe ablator will meet\nAnd then shrug off the heat,\nSo the capsule reenters with ease.", "id": 1911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Don't fall into Microsoft's trap\nWhen they say it's a true killer app.\nIt might well excel,\nBut the outlook ain't swell:\nThe word on the street is it's crap.", "id": 1912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "She's a mermaid in shades albinotic:\nSurprising, alluring, hypnotic.\nHer pale scales and tail\nMake me flounder and flail,\nThis exotic, erotic aquatic.", "id": 1913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aspergillus, a genus of mold\nCan trouble the lung, I am told.\nThe correct diagnosis\nIs aspergillosis\n(And certainly worse than a cold).", "id": 1914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Junior's room's as askew as the wig\nOf a rock star right after a gig.\nHe excuses askewness\nWith so-much-to-do-ness,\nBut I think the kid's just a pig.", "id": 1915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Asphyxia (absence of air)\nCan be fatal, so always take care.\nKeep your pillow, in bed,\nAt the back of your head \u2014\nBoth your nose and your mouth should be bare.", "id": 1916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"The ashfall fell close to Saint Helens,\"\nSaid Freddie to five fellow felons.\nThe ash drifted east;\nAfter he was released,\nFreddie found it grew flavorful melons.", "id": 1917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Dear altricial birds, up in your nest:\nYour parents don't stop much to rest;\nTill you see, and can feed,\nTill you fly\u2014you still need\nTo remember that parents know best.", "id": 1918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "O aesthesis, I sing in your praise;\nYour sensation brings joy to my days,\nFor with bliss thou dost bless\nAt a lover's caress\u2014\nBut with sunburns I wish you'd part ways.", "id": 1919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "To attract is to call with persistence\nTo something that shows no resistance.\nLike a magnet to steel,\nVenus flytrap to meal,\nOr a Siren to men in the distance.", "id": 1920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "An atoll's a small coral isle\nThat's been in the sea for a while.\nIts land has subsided,\nBut reefs have abided,\nAnd arc through the sea like a smile.", "id": 1921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What doofus decided to fix\nA verb that was adequate: mix?\nWhat brought them to blend\nA before with that end\nTo create the admixture admix?", "id": 1922, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Fond sentiments you would disclose,\nAnd marriage you wish to propose?\nDon't bring armfuls of flowers\u2014\nThat just overpowers.\nYou're much better off with one rose.", "id": 1923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have humans who like me aplenty.\nI think I've got far more than twenty:\nMy parents, my cousins \u2014\nThey number in dozens,\nAnd all of them deemed cognoscenti.", "id": 1924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A visiting vicar named Kenny\nLiked mountains; he asked, \"Have you any?\"\nThe Monmouthshire deacons\nSaid, \"Brecon's tall Beacons\nAbound here in Abergavenny.\"", "id": 1925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"Atonal,\" A. Schoenberg averred,\n\"Is a perfectly horrible word.\nThough I dare, if you please,\nTo write songs without keys,\nWriting songs without tones is absurd.\"", "id": 1926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a creature as fine as can be.\nDo not cast your aspersions on me.\nYour sticks and your stones\nMay well shatter my bones,\nBut your words wouldn't frighten a flea.", "id": 1927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An arpeggio's simply a chord\n(At least three notes at once, or a horde!),\nBut the tones are sequential\n(That's something essential\nTo keeping the harp player bored).", "id": 1928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Atmospherically challenged am I,\nFor up in the air I won't fly.\nBut what's even sadder,\nI don't trust a ladder.\nOne rung, and I scream, \"It's too high!\"", "id": 1929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The security guard went insane:\n\"Those needles you cannot retain!\nOn the airplane, if you\nKnit an afghan or two,\nThey might stand up and hijack the plane!\"", "id": 1930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Abradants wear down (or erode)\nGreat canyons where rivers have flowed,\nBut that takes forever.\nA woman's more clever:\nOne look and my wife has me snowed.", "id": 1931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Adminicula serve as a prop\nSo that parts of your body don't drop.\nThey lend their support\nWhere you find yourself short,\nMuch like bumming ten bucks from your pop.", "id": 1932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A sequence that's alphanumerical\nCan sometimes create words hysterical.\nB-A-one-one-five,\nOn the car that you drive,\nMeans your licence plate names objects spherical.", "id": 1933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "There's a sea trout that's called arctic char\nWhich is found only out in the far\nAnd the northernmost seas,\nAlthough some, if you please,\nLive in landlocked Quebec \u2014 how bizarre.", "id": 1934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have an appointment with fate.\nI thought I was ready to mate.\nAlas, I am spayed!\nNo pups, I'm afraid \u2014\nBut perhaps I can still get a date.", "id": 1935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "Old Akko, along Acre Bay,\nWhere once did the Canaanites stay,\nChanged hands through the ages\nOf history's pages.\nThe city's Israeli today.", "id": 1936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "With Armagnac brandy from France,\nA snifter might hasten romance.\nIts aroma is yummy;\nIt warms up your tummy\u2014\nThere's love in the offing, perchance.", "id": 1937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm an aphis \u2014 I eat all your crops.\nI devour your green carrot tops,\nAnd the fruit from your trees\nI will happily seize.\nYou don't like it?  Well, just call the cops.", "id": 1938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I won't ever accede to your wishes.\nI want you to sleep with the fishes.\nYou want change for the worse\nIn my most perfect verse?\nI'm afraid that I'd rather do dishes.", "id": 1939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I really will have to chastise\nMy canary; he sits there and sighs,\nHe shuns alpist, his feed\n(That's canary grass seed),\nAnd has dark circles under his eyes.", "id": 1940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Astronautically speaking, an ape\nAnteceded a man to escape\nFar from gravity's clutch,\nWhere he didn't do much\nWith no porthole through which he could gape.", "id": 1941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cowboy from west Oklahoma\nHad a stroke and fell into a coma.\nIn his artery sat\nA deposit of fat,\nOr in medical terms, atheroma.", "id": 1942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Tom\nWhose wife was a stay-at-home mom.\nWhen he had an affair\nShe didn't despair \u2014\nShe invented the first at-home bomb.", "id": 1943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His word use displays an affinity\nFor muddle, if not asininity.\nThough his acid means \"tart\",\nWhen he cries from the heart,\n\"Back to basics!\" he means alkalinity.", "id": 1944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My vision is sharp as an eagle.\nMy bearing is anthropoid, regal.\nSo you might be surprised\nThat my tail's not disguised.\nI've been animalized. I'm Meg Beagle!", "id": 1945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Appellate's the court you would use\nWhen judgments go not as you'd choose.\nThe lawyers get fatter\nAnd while they all natter,\nThe cost to you simply accrues.", "id": 1946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Beset with a torturous sprain,\nI started to whine and complain.\nMy wife, sympathetic,\nGot pills analgetic\nTo mitigate my (and her) pain.", "id": 1947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To the best of my modest ability,\nI try to avoid sheer hostility.\nThe fun will be brief,\nYet it's bound to cause grief,\nAnd it serves not a shred of utility.", "id": 1948, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My cologne I'll be happy to loan ya,\nEre family and friends all disown ya:\nNo offense, but I think\nI discern from the stink\nYou've encountered anhydrous ammonia.", "id": 1949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "With slander or libel or worse,\nHis good name I don't want to asperse.\nHe has brains like an ox\nOr a box full of rocks\u2014\nBut on that you won't hear me converse.", "id": 1950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The mineral amazonite\nIs a feldspar in green, rather light.\nIf it was there, it's gone\nFrom the great Amazon,\nBut look elsewhere and find it you might.", "id": 1951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "A neighboring star is Altair;\nIt has speed of rotation to spare.\nIf there's life (which I doubt,\nThough I can't rule it out),\nThey could listen to Sonny and Cher.", "id": 1952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The Ames test (obscure, I suspect)\nIs a method that's used to detect\nA mutagen's strength.\nTo describe it at length\nIn five lines is too much to expect.", "id": 1953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We've no dates, but we share an excuse:\nWe're too angular.  Hardly abstruse.\nThe degree of our smarts\nIs where this trio parts:\nI am right; you're acute; he's obtuse.", "id": 1954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The chilly black depths of the blue\nAre hostile to life, this is true,\nBut not 'cause they're toxic;\nThey're merely anoxic.\nJust visit, and you can be, too!", "id": 1955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Of Swiss cantons that start with an A,\nKanton Aargau's a fave, I must say.\nWith Aare the river,\nAnd seat Aarau \u2014 a sliver\nOf spelling that's A-a-okay!", "id": 1956, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "In the movie the sailor was chipper\nAs he stood on the deck of the clipper.\n\tHe faced hard alee\n\tWhen it came time to pee,\nThen anachronously zipped up his zipper.", "id": 1957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Antiquer's a word rather odd;\nYou may think it means \"older than God.\"\nIt's a noun:  \"One who seeks\nAncient junk and antiques\nIn such quaint little spots as Cape Cod.\"", "id": 1958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An aspiring young man of St. Bride\nFor a church-building job once applied.\nThe boss thought he looked smart:\n\"Now just how will you start?\"\n\"A-spiring,\" the young man replied.", "id": 1959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Her mentor assented and sent her.\nShe went to where sent by her mentor.\nThe question is: Did she\nBecome the assentee,\nAnd did he become the assentor?", "id": 1960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I find it a curious fact\nThat the gall'ries of Congress are packed.\n\tLike a hit Broadway show,\n\tThey are all SRO,\nThough the Senate can't sing and won't act.", "id": 1961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kponto", "limerick": "To make yourself more apprehensible,\nYour limericks need to be sensible.\nMake it clear from the start,\nSo you'll seem super-smart,\nAnd they'll cry, \"Why, the lad's nearly MENSA-ble!\"", "id": 1962, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kponto", "limerick": "When some venomous goo makes you ill,\nThe doc might prescribe you a pill.\nIf the pill's antitoxic,\nYou'll find that you're not sick\nIn time to receive the doc's bill.", "id": 1963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If with heartburn you find yourself stressed,\nThen your agita must be addressed.\nThe burping, the burning,\nThe acid a-churning\u2014\nIt's really a pain in the chest.", "id": 1964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Amblypoda showed up, and I blinked;\nMy surprise was profound and distinct.\nWith those short, stumpy feet\nThe sight sure was a treat,\nFor both mammal and term are extinct.", "id": 1965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For a poet, again is a strain:\nDoes it rhyme with amen or amain?\nPaired with pen, men, or then\nYou should say it again;\nAfter pain you must say it again.", "id": 1966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abjure means \"renounce or forswear,\nTo forsake what is no longer there.\"\nIt could be quite vital,\nBeliefs or a title,\nOr your passion for Smokey the Bear.", "id": 1967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Antiphonal musical folk\nFound out in the time pre-Baroque\nTwo alternate choirs\nOf singers and lyres\nCan please any stereo bloke.", "id": 1968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An attacca (a musical word\nFrom Italian) has meaning unblurred.\nWhen you get to the end,\nDo not pause. We depend\nOn your playing right on, undeterred.", "id": 1969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Andante is walking-pace speed\nIn music. I hope you will heed\nThis tempo intention.\nI guess I should mention\nIt's from the Italian. Agreed?", "id": 1970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "If andante comes off slow and rough,\nAnd allegro is not slow enough,\nAllegretto might be\nThe precise cup of tea\nFor the music. Don't think so? Well, tough!", "id": 1971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "With the phrase a cappella, we know\nThat the vocal parts onward will go,\nBut the organ and flute\nWill be totally mute,\n'Cause the voices are solely on show.", "id": 1972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The apple of my eye is sweet!\nShe's special and pretty and neat.\nOpinions may differ;\nBut, see? If you sniff her,\nShe smells more like roses than feet.", "id": 1973, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Use isn't, but please don't use ain't,\nA word with a bit of a taint.\nIt's short for \"I'm not,\"\nBut hated a lot.\nSay ain't and your teacher may faint!", "id": 1974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and Richard English", "limerick": "Asparagus: truly delicious\nAnd also extremely nutritious.\nWith sauce or with butter\nIt sets hearts aflutter\n(Its shape being slightly suspicious).", "id": 1975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "For antiphony choirs must split\nAnd find two separate places to sit.\nSung from left and from right,\nMusic's sure to delight.\nThe conductor, though, may have a fit.", "id": 1976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When you're building a polymer chain,\nMany side groups attach to the main.\nIf they're not all aligned,\nNor in pairs intertwined,\nIt's atactic, not fibers' domain.", "id": 1977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Nota bene (or anglice, \"Hey!\"):\nWhen obscure foreign words rule the day,\nThen an English translation\nWill ease your frustration.\nSpeak anglice; banish dismay.", "id": 1978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "In ashram and coven and shrine,\nHe aspired to stillness divine,\nThen beatifically said,\nAs he keeled over dead,\n\"At last\u2014ataraxia's mine!\"", "id": 1979, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Paul Bunyan's young stepbrother Russell\nWas lacking in Paul's famous muscle.\nAll Russ could uproot\nWas a shrub most minute:\nA dwarf tree, i.e., an arbuscle.", "id": 1980, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Inside, she was always complaining,\nWhile smiling and otherwise feigning\nSincere approbation:\nA poor vindication\nOf years of assertiveness training.", "id": 1981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I tried once before, and I blew it.\"\nThat's a cynical way to construe it.\nStop being a drip!\nJust rear back, let 'er rip,\nAnd assert yourself! Go ahead, do it!", "id": 1982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Touch a burner, it's followed by burning,\nWhereupon you'll no longer be yearning\nTo try this again,\nSince the lesson is plain\u2014\nAnd it's known as associative learning.", "id": 1983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you listen up now, I'll explain:\nShe's a woman from legends arcane;\nAnd an evergreen shrub;\nAnd a star system, bub.\nThat's Andromeda. (Phew, what a strain.)", "id": 1984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "She's his diamond, his ruby, his pearl:\nSuch a huggable, kissable girl.\nOf his eye, she's the apple;\nHe aches for the chapel.\nToo bad she's a trucker called Burl.", "id": 1985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Lego\u00ae designs I assemble\nDon't often too closely resemble\nThe ones on the box,\nAnd when subject to shocks\nLeave me fearing collapses, atremble.", "id": 1986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "If I were composing a paean\nTo people or places Achaean,\nI'd reverently speak\nOf everything Greek\n(Or, for nit-pickers, old Mycenaean).", "id": 1987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "\"I christen this ship C of E!\"\nThus proclaimed Rowan Williams with glee;\nNow he paddles around\nTrying not to get drowned\nOn his archiepiscopal see.", "id": 1988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Don't despair that the Muses have fled,\nFor the Brits still have art, but instead\nOf great craft or technique,\nThe word's now used to speak\nOf old bricks, potted cows, or one's bed.", "id": 1989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "If Athenians leave you ecstatic,\nOr you favour words curt yet dramatic,\nAtticism's your creed,\nBut please don't think you need\nTo start spending more time in the attic.", "id": 1990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "They're not breathing? A bad situation!\nPlease inflate them without hesitation.\nIn a nutshell, one blows\nNot one's own, but their nose.\n(Artificial \u2014 so-called \u2014 respiration.)", "id": 1991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Your antibodies make you immune,\nLike a malady-fighting platoon.\nWith field expertise\nIn defeating disease,\nThey'll protect you at Sal's Greasy Spoon.", "id": 1992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Agricola, ruling for Rome,\nIn Britain, so far from his home,\nFought Welshmen and Scots,\nBut Domitian's fell plots\nWere the ones that interred him in loam.", "id": 1993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "What's an agger? I'll give you a guide:\nFar and wide also called double tide.\nIt could climb and then fall,\nThen rise over the wall\u2014\nOr go down, rise a bit, then subside.", "id": 1994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A meticulous programming teacher,\nSurprised by a six-legged creature,\n Attacked  as it skittered,\nBut then reconsidered:\nIt wasn't a bug, but a feature.", "id": 1995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An old Roman bought Parmesan cheese,\nProsciutto, ricotta, and peas;\nSome garlic, salami,\nA pound of pastrami;\nAnd how did he pay?  Why, with aes!", "id": 1996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Humanity's long sought a way\nTo keep world aggression at bay.\nWell, I've got a notion\nThat's worth some promotion:\nA tax on attacks just might pay.", "id": 1997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Rick said, \"Play it!\" to Sam in the bar;\nIt's the line that made Bogie a star.\nSo why is it then\nThat \"Play it again\"\nIs the quote that we hear near and far?", "id": 1998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A city on high's the Acropolis;\nIt stands far above the metropolis.\nHere temples abound\nUpon Greek sacred ground,\nAnd the gods are the principal populace.", "id": 1999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said Columbus: \"The earth isn't flat!\"\u2014\nWhich is true: who would argue with that?\nBut conclusions numerical\nShow it's aspherical:\nRounded, but podgy and fat.", "id": 2000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "Antipasto's a thing that's ideal\nIf you don't want a big, heavy meal.\nNot spaghetti that's sauced\nOr a salad that's tossed,\nJust a starter with tasty appeal.", "id": 2001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Amphetamines, little white pills,\nCan give you spectacular thrills.\nThey'll stifle your hunger\nAnd make you feel younger,\nBut, sooner or later, speed kills.", "id": 2002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My daughter, it seems, has a flair\nFor rhyming with great savoir-faire.\nShe's having a fling\nAt this limerick thing;\nIt's becoming a family affair!", "id": 2003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She deals in the deepest abstraction\nWhile he's barely mastered subtraction.\nThey're like night and day,\nYet together they stay.\nI just don't understand the attraction.", "id": 2004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Sharing verse with a nubile young guest,\nI crooned softly, \"The amphibrach's stressed\nIn the middle, my plum.\nSee, it's not 'da da DUM,'\nBut 'da DUM da.'\" She wasn't impressed.", "id": 2005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Surprised by his bride's ardent heat,\nThe caliph suspected deceit.\n\"Did you come here intact?\"\n\"Oh yes, sir! In fact,\nYour affeerment's the stain on the sheet!\"", "id": 2006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "He wants us to come and assemble,\nStand awestruck before him and tremble,\nBut this alien being,\nAll-knowing and -seeing\u2014\nIt's a penguin he tends to resemble!", "id": 2007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "When a guy who's so shy or aloof he\nKeeps views to himself, it is proof he\nAvoids all debates,\nAnd to argufy, hates.\nSeems to me, those who like to \"ar gufy.\"", "id": 2008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"You're under arrest, Mrs. Phelps.\"\n\"But I didn't do it!\" she yelps.\n\"When my husband was shot\nI was smelting a pot.\"\n(A cast-iron alibi helps.)", "id": 2009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If we try to divide an eclair,\nMy sister will grumble and glare.\n\"I cut, and you choose\"\nIs the system we use\nTo ensure the apportionment's fair.", "id": 2010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Our course on the Bible now closes\nWith a quiz: Who's the father of Moses?\"\n\"It's Amram,\" I stated.\n\"It's clear they're related\nBecause of their similar clotheses.\"", "id": 2011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "When you're fighting a war of attrition,\nYou must throw away all inhibition.\nThen despite people's cries,\nYou exhaust all supplies\nUntil nothing remains but submission.", "id": 2012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "Atelectasis seizes your chest\nWhen alveoli can't do their best.\nIt's your lungs that collapse,\nWhich will kill you, perhaps,\nSo a doctor is what I suggest.", "id": 2013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An electromagnetic device\nWith a wire turned just once (never twice!)\nAt one ampere has force\n(Now I'll tell you, of course)\nOf an ampere-turn. Ain't it concise?", "id": 2014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With visions of blissful romance,\nI asked if she wanted to dance,\nBut her cool sidelong glance\nThat was archly askance\nMade it plain that I hadn't a chance.", "id": 2015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "O acoustics, the science of sounds,\nTheir production, reflections (rebounds),\nTheir amplification,\nControl, propagation!\nHow the glorious music surrounds!", "id": 2016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "At first, I just sound out a tweet.\nBut suddenly, after the beat,\nI drop to another,\nLess strong than the other.\nAppoggiatura, how neat!", "id": 2017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The speed of the tempo, it grows,\nSo faster and faster it goes.\nThey're playing \"Fernando\"\nWith accelerando\u2014\nI hope they hang on to their bows!", "id": 2018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "If you're anal retentive, you find\nThat the world drives you out of your mind.\nLike this anapest beat,\nOr the feel of your seat;\nWhen it's off, it's a pain in the hind!", "id": 2019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "This witch doctor lady named Cora,\nFermenting her milk of Angora,\nGave me and my ilk\nAcidophilus milk\n(Used to change the intestinal flora).", "id": 2020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though angleworms aerate the soil,\nReducing the gardener's toil,\nIn woodlands the red ones\nShould really be dead ones:\nThey're nearly as bad as spilled oil.", "id": 2021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "There's a guy (there's a guy) as you see\n(As you see) aping me (aping me!)\nBlast it (blast it!) and drat\n(Drat!) the old copycat\n(Copycat) apish (ape?) chimpanzee.", "id": 2022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Syphilitic old Sid yelled to me,\n\"I have lesions and rashes, oh gee!\"\nThen he said, even louder,\n\"Arsphenamine powder\nWould kill all my spirochetes, see?\"", "id": 2023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Sounds travel, compressing the air\nA bit more than what's normally there.\nNow, the amplitude's size\nIs how much more. Surprise!\nThat's the loudness of sound (if you care).", "id": 2024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The new version was not up to par\n'Cause the cuts made the story bizarre.\nToo much plot was removed,\nSo it's easily proved\n'Twas a case of abridgement too far.", "id": 2025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An admiral docked at the slip\nWith an admirable plan for his trip:\nTo engage some good craftsmen,\nSome shipwrights, and draftsmen\nTo build him an artisanship.", "id": 2026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Of various kinds of accounts,\nThe first involves checks that can bounce.\nTelling stories, I've reckoned,\nComes in a close second,\nThus balancing acts and amounts.", "id": 2027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "The ash is a wonderful tree:\nIts wood is as tough as can be.\nAnd should cold become dire,\nPut a log on the fire\nAnd a new form of ash you will see.", "id": 2028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Once a rude little boy named Jerome\nTook some thick polyurethane foam\nFrom the arm of the love seat\nAnd made his mom's doves eat\nIt all! (Please don't try this at home.)", "id": 2029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "He enjoys shooting arrows, this gent.\n(He loves archery, that's what I meant!)\nHis advice? \"Keep it mellow,\nAnd aim for the yellow\u2014\nAnd hope that your fletching's not bent.\"", "id": 2030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "In love with her right from the start,\nI foolishly offered my heart.\nBeing hers to abuse,\nWith the heels of her shoes\nShe contused it and tore it apart.", "id": 2031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you're using abaft, I would note,\nYou're astern or behind when afloat.\nIf you're nautically hip,\nThat's \"the rear of the ship.\"\nIf you're me, it's \"the back of the boat.\"", "id": 2032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The dolphin performed with agility,\nThen whistled and clicked with civility.\nHe vaulted with flair\nAnd caught fish in mid-air,\nBut the fish viewed his tricks with hostility.", "id": 2033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A disease that makes women morose is\nThe malady adenomyosis.\nWith pain that's benumbing,\nCysts clog up their plumbing\u2014\nIt's truly a sad diagnosis.", "id": 2034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The college enrolled an old skunk,\nSo no one's allowed to say \"stunk.\"\nInstead, we emphatically\nSay \"aromatically\nChallenged,\" or else we might flunk.", "id": 2035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "In the fall we find fading gets faster\nFor all but the flowers of aster.\nIn bold color they're draped\nAs they grow daisy-shaped;\nTheir designer is truly a master.", "id": 2036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "An archer who's not the best aimer,\nIf wise, will design a disclaimer,\nIn case that his arrow\nShould pierce a peer's marrow,\nSo's not to be labeled a maimer.", "id": 2037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A type of herbivorous mammal\nThat grazes with teeth of enamel\nIs artiodactyl,\nWith toes matched and tactile\u2014\nLike bison, impala, or camel.", "id": 2038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A nice cup of tea is assuasive\u2014\nMuch more than a date who's abrasive,\nWho's tapping her toes\nWhile she's picking her nose,\nAs you ponder maneuvers evasive.", "id": 2039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If cestodes cause muscles to waste,\nOr if ascarids in you are placed,\nYou have worms.  Ere you're through,\nI have one word for you:\nAnthelmintic.  Go take some, posthaste.", "id": 2040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Atonic my stomach may be\nOr some syllables written by me.\nBut if muscles I tone\nOr stress words, it's been shown,\nThis condition we'll no longer see.", "id": 2041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Because I was hungry, I ate\nTwenty dinners all heaped on one plate.\nThough high in nutrition,\nCaloric addition\nMeant more acquisition of weight.", "id": 2042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The stillness was just absolute.\nHow quiet it was! We were mute\u2014\nTill my kid brother slurped\nOn his chowder and burped,\nAnd then finished the job with a poot.", "id": 2043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a beaglet named Meg,\nWho liked to eat cheese with her egg.\nRaw carrots were fine,\nAnd on almonds she'd dine,\nBut for shrimp on the barbie she'd beg.", "id": 2044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Her artwork was splotchy and splattery\nAnd didn't inspire much flattery,\nSo she tossed out her hairbrush\nAnd switched to an airbrush\nThat ran on an alkaline battery.", "id": 2045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am a beagle-at-large.\nWhen my nose detects chow, in I barge.\nI'll never stop begging\n(For food I keep egging),\nAnd isn't the beagle-in-charge?", "id": 2046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Heard a tune, an atonalist wrote it.\nI'd hum it, but fear I'd misquote it.\nShe plays random keys\nWith a consummate ease.\nIf her music's off-key, who would note it?", "id": 2047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A clam who was ambling around\nIn its ambit (its normal surround)\nWent too far, so it fell\nO'er the edge of its shell\n(The ambitus, border, or bound).", "id": 2048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I hate pushy salesmen who keep\nSelling crap on the phone that is cheap,\nSo I'll just let my answerin'\nMachine screen this cancer in\nMessages after the beep.", "id": 2049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "Oy vey, has my body been aching!\nYou should ask, now you think that I'm faking?\nMy joints ache arthritically,\nSo stop acting critically!\nThey've recalled all this dreck I've been taking!", "id": 2050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was once an amasser of wealth\nWho was told, \"This will not bring you health.\"\nHe was told it a lot\nSo he had the man shot,\nAnd that pretty much speaks for itself.", "id": 2051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "I am finding my faculties stalled;\nI'm enraptured, astonied, enthralled;\nI'm too awestruck to sigh!\nYou ask, \"Zit-face, but why?\"\n\"Well, that hottie, from English? She called!\"", "id": 2052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "When nitrogen, trivalent friend,\nThree chains from itself does extend,\nOr swaps one, two, or three\nFor some \"H,\" shout with glee:\n\"This here thing's an amine, I contend!\"", "id": 2053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I enrolled in algometry class,\nWhich began with the students en masse\nGetting kicked in the heel,\nAnd then asked, \"How'd that feel?\"\nThe exams were all pains in the ass.", "id": 2054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I noticed with utmost dismay\nThat attendance was poor at my play.\nAll the critics opine\nThat my writing's divine,\nBut the public refuses to pay.", "id": 2055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The professor would often resort\nTo a word of an obsolete sort.\nHe lay on his deathbed\nAnd with his last breath, said,\n\"Ye gentlefolk, I am amort.\"", "id": 2056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I was spry at a young twenty-four,\nAnd my fingers could reach to the floor.\nBut since, I've grown rounder\nWith each Quarter Pounder.\nI can't reach my knees anymore.", "id": 2057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Last Tuesday, my foot was all blistery.\nThe reason for this is a mystery.\nBut I really don't care\nWhy those blisters were there,\nSince they've healed\u2014so it's all ancient history.", "id": 2058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You'd keep bees with a will and a zest,\nHence your new apicultural quest.\nIt's no difficult feat\nAnd the honey's a treat,\nBut those mites\u2014holy smokes, they're a pest!", "id": 2059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Hymns of praise do I sing to putrescence,\nAnd hosannas to every excrescence.\nAn idolator? No\u2014\nAn aischrolator; so\nIn debris I see God's divine essence.", "id": 2060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "A science geek loved a girl actor,\nAnd needed some way to attract her.\nHe said, \"Do ya wanna\nSee intestinal fauna?\"\nAnd showed her his pet aerobacter.", "id": 2061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "A stripper who boasted of knowing\nThe Latin for \"came,\" \"went,\" and \"going\"\nTattooed her pudenda\nWith scholars' addenda,\nAnd frankly, her pedantry's showing.", "id": 2062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "When a habit just cannot be kicked,\nTo surrender oneself's to addict.\nIt's a verb full of blame,\nFor describing the shame\nOf the habits the other guy's picked.", "id": 2063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "A thing added is called an addendum,\nAs, for instance, to books. When I've penned 'em,\nAt the end I append a\nWhole slew of addenda\n(Because I'm reluctant to end 'em).", "id": 2064, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "AKA and Workshop", "limerick": "On adnexa the word books play tricks.\nIt's \"subordinate body parts\"? Nix!\nWhat's subordinate, then?\nFrom the viewpoint of men\nIt means all parts except for their pr...ivates.", "id": 2065, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When you're speaking of beasts microscopic\n(Far smaller than creatures anthropic)\n\tAnd go on all day\n\tIn a minuscule way,\nAnimalcules are likely the topic.", "id": 2066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "That puppy's so peripatetic,\nHis energy's really frenetic.\nHe loves chasing balls\nThrough the rooms and the halls\u2014\nHow I wish he'd become akinetic!", "id": 2067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"Come sample my soup,\" the man sighed.\n\"Why this time?\" the waiter replied.\n\"You have it at noon\nEvery day.  Where's the spoon?\"\n\"Aha!\" the man gleefully cried.", "id": 2068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Albinoni's whole work met disaster;\nOf concertos for oboe, he's master.\nHis Adagio's known\u2014\nJust that one piece alone.\n(His other works went somewhat faster.)", "id": 2069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "They annoy me: I think they're a pain,\nAnd their thoughtlessness drives me insane.\nAt the grocery store\nThey're the ones who buy more\nThan twelve things in the ten-item lane.", "id": 2070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "If you're looking for riots to cease,\nGet some Adamsite gas to release.\nIf the mob stays around,\nThey will puke on the ground\nAnd the threat to the peace will decrease.", "id": 2071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Her heartbeat has stopped \u2014 an arrest!\nBreathe for her! Pound on her chest!\nHer eyes begin fluttering,\nAnd she begins muttering,\n\"Stop it!  You're fondling my breast!\"", "id": 2072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "That ridge you can touch with your tongue;\nAn air sac, quite small, in your lung;\nUse alveolar, please\nWhen referring to these\nAnd some consonants, spoken or sung.", "id": 2073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "If a pilot's requested to switch\nThe extent of his roll, yaw, or pitch,\nSo as safely to land,\nBut shouts \"Who's in command?!\"\nWe've a real attitudinal glitch.", "id": 2074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The botanist Steve wasn't through:\nHe took the next boat to Peru.\nAnguloa, a genus\nCalled Cradle of Venus\nAwaited: more orchids to view!", "id": 2075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "With agraphia Agatha's cursed;\nSince writing, for her, can't be nursed.\nAll thoughts meant for paper,\nUncaught, just escape her;\nComposing cannot be coerced.", "id": 2076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A Highlander living in style\nLiked socks knit in patterns argyle.\nFor this diamond-based plaid\nHe would simply go mad,\nLeaving solids and stripes in a pile.", "id": 2077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "All the minutes you had, well, you spent 'em;\nRebuttals?  You failed to present 'em.\nYou attacked only me,\nNot my argument, see,\nSo ad hominem's your argumentum.", "id": 2078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Alberta, a girl who's a dear,\nMoved to Canada some time last year.\nHer provenance, though,\nI simply don't know.\nThat's out of my province, I fear.", "id": 2079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "There once was a thief with a name\nAnd an alias.  Both were the same.\nWhen the cops asked him why,\nHe replied with a sigh,\n\"So you wouldn't know which one to blame.\"", "id": 2080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "Now what in the world is an adh?\nIs it goodh?  Is it badh?  Is it plaidh?\nDoes it sleep in a bedh?\nIt's a hormone insteadh!\nADH dries your pee?  Oh, how madh!", "id": 2081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Ark of the Covenant's found\nIn Aksum upon holy ground.\nThe Ethiops there\nHad an empire so fair,\nBut downwards their fortunes were bound.", "id": 2083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Albigensians, ultra-devout,\nAnti-Catholic dogma would spout.\nToo uptight in Toulouse,\nThey found flesh had no use.\nA medieval crusade wiped them out.", "id": 2084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Anzacs fought bravely, they say,\nIn Gallipoli, even though they\nFaced a ludicrous task,\nSo it's not much to ask\nTo remember them on their own Day.", "id": 2085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A suburbanite, sick of the sprawl,\nBought a tropical island (quite small).\nBut it showed on no screens,\nBeing high by no means:\nNot a truly tall atoll at all.", "id": 2086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai and mike scholtes", "limerick": "All the Plantae show strange alternation\nIn the ploidy of each generation.\nWhen gametophytes mate,\nThese young haploids create\nA new diploid, a fresh variation.", "id": 2087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I thought a tattoo might be fun.\nI considered where I'd have it done\n(On my shoulder or knee?\nShould I get two or three?),\nThen advisedly chose to have none.", "id": 2088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "Of all elementary bits,\nThe atom, of course, never quits.\nIt's the basis of stuff,\nBut if that's not enough,\nIt also goes BOOM when it splits.", "id": 2089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "When you're feeling your guilt to the bone,\nYou must know that it's time to atone.\nYou find satisfaction\nBy taking some action,\nThe kind where you reap what you've sown.", "id": 2090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Cherimoya fruits grow in Peru\nAnd ates flavor drinks in Cebu.\nIf, perchance, their trees meet\nYou will soon get to eat\nAtemoya's sweet custardy goo.", "id": 2091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Said the governess, \"Ions, let's glide.\nAll the way to the cathode we'll slide.\"\nGrumbled Anion, \"No!\nI'm repelled.  I won't go!\"\n\"Such a negative charge,\" Nanny sighed.", "id": 2092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "The dollar? The pound? Guarani?\nNo! the \"rich\" cells all use ATP!\nSince it offers a whole\n50 kJ per mole,\nThis here compound's their energy fee.", "id": 2093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "To five carbons conjoined end to end,\nEach H forms an angular bend.\nTen and one in amount,\nThey make compounds we count\nAs the parts of the paraffin trend.", "id": 2094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The beautiful burglar was cunning,\nBut ringing alarms sent her running.\nPolice shouted \"STOP!\"\nShe was nabbed by a cop,\nAnd the outcome, arresting, was stunning.", "id": 2095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "With an arsonous gleam in my eye,\nSomeone's shoe I just happened to spy\nWith a hole in the toe\nWhere the matches would go.\nHow delightful his screams! \"Ay yi yi!\"", "id": 2096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Assault boats have more than one gun.\nAmphibious war isn't fun.\nSo despite what you say\nAt Marina del Rey,\nYour dinghy could never be one.", "id": 2097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "At times, I am so acquiescing.\nNo arguments here, just some \"yes\"-ing.\nDiplomatically smart?\nOr a chicken at heart?\nI just do it to keep people guessing.", "id": 2098, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "All my anecdotes once sounded cute,\nBut they turned into less than a hoot.\nThey got told and retold\n'Til the stories grew old.\nNow my wife will be filing her suit.", "id": 2099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "\"You should go \u2014 well, just go your own way.\"\nAnacoluthic! It's plain as the day:\nWhen syntax makes jumps,\nJust like hitting some bumps\nIn your thoughts and your speech (so they say).", "id": 2100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I arduously try to explain\nWhat words mean, but my effort's in vain.\n  I work through the night,\n  But I fail in this plight\nThough I try it again and again.", "id": 2101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A man who behaves rather arrantly\nDoesn't care if folks like him, apparently.\n  He's brutal and mean,\n  Malign and obscene.\nHis disdain for you shows quite transparently.", "id": 2102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The \"ambient temp,\" if you please,\nHas been measured at thirty degrees.\nIf that's \"C,\" then it's hot;\nIf it's \"F,\" then it's not;\nIf it's \"minus,\" equipment might freeze.", "id": 2103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kponto", "limerick": "The process of analyzation\nInvolves (of a whole) separation\nDown into its parts,\nThen laid out in charts\nFor meticulous amplification.", "id": 2104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "When arguing I will prefer\nTo avoid racial insult or slur.\n  My points will abound\n  With pure reasoning sound\nThat will force worthy foes to concur.", "id": 2105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "That each tiny, industrious ant\nHas a serious function, I grant.\nFor the hill as a whole,\nHe fulfills his small role.\nBut I've squashed this one good, so he can't.", "id": 2106, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Though some look on lust with disgust,\nIts adaptive effects are robust:\nOur pairing ensures\nThat our species endures,\nSo my darling, let's do what we must.", "id": 2107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "While I know that my cooking is rotten,\nI believe that the past is forgotten.\nWith breadcrumbs and cheese,\nThusly broiled (if you please),\nI've invented Tripe Truffle au Gratin.", "id": 2108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I admit people think that I'm vain,\nFor alopecy broke my disdain\nOf taking a pill,\nSo now RogaineTM might still\nBe a cure to re-cover my brain.", "id": 2109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "I'm off to the city, it's true.\nI'll miss where the sky is so blue.\nBeing up in these hills\nIs the greatest of thrills.\nO Mountains, how alpine for you!", "id": 2110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "There's an Irishman down in the quarry\nWho manoeuvres the twenty-ton lorry.\nHis head is quite bare\nFor he hasn't a hair.\nHis name? Al O'Pecia. [I'm sorry....]", "id": 2111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The anoa of north Sulawesi\nIsn't wild as in \"livid\" or \"crazy\"\u2014\nThis diminutive ox\nIs just wild like a fox,\nOr a hawk, or the Michaelmas daisy.", "id": 2112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Common wormwood grows right over yonder;\nIts absinthic effects we should ponder.\nSee, it stops gassy rumbling \u2014\nIntestinal mumbling \u2014\nThus, absinthe helps hearts to grow fonder.", "id": 2113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If word choices cause you frustration,\nBe tricky and try affixation.\nFrom store, get restore,\nStorage, storing, and more \u2014\nLike substoral, my latest creation.", "id": 2114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Astrometric computing will double\nIf NASA can just fix the Hubble.\nBut Congress won't fund her,\nAnd this makes you wonder\nIf star cataloguing's in trouble.", "id": 2115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I have recently read a report\nBy two experts declaring, in short,\nThat atlantes are not\nReally paid a whole lot\nFor sustaining the roofs they support.", "id": 2116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The corporate ladder's ascendable,\nBut only if work is commendable.\nSome people, one finds,\nThink that kissing behinds\nIs as good, but I think they're expendable.", "id": 2117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Attornment implies full consent\nTo new landlords from tenants who rent.\nAs the landlord is new\nThen so likely is, too,\nThe address where the rent will be sent.", "id": 2118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As I sit hear and right I confess\nThat I'm lazy; my speling's a mess.\nTo improve at my kraft\nI rote draft after draft,\nAnd can now spel assiduousness.", "id": 2119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The great Aberdeen Angus, my son,\nIs the principal steer, number one.\nThey're raised mostly today\nIn the U. S. of A.,\nBut were first bred in Scotland. Hoots, mon!", "id": 2120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "They absconded and left him alone.\nWhile he ate in his tent they had blown.\nHe'd heard shouting and then,\n\"Let's absquatulate, men!\"\nBut its meaning to him was unknown.", "id": 2121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Your Honor, my client's aggrieved\nBy her ex-fianc\u00e9. She believed\nHis most blatant deception\nRe his contraception.\nAnd so was the baby conceived.", "id": 2122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "When the king says, \"Oh please, do attend,\"\nThen you surely don't want to offend.\nYou had better be there,\nOr you'd better beware\nThat you might lose your head in the end.", "id": 2123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "His attire was truly absurd.\nBut his wife? She said nary a word.\nShe just packed up a box\nWith his pants, shirts, and socks.\nNow the Emperor's new clothes are preferred.", "id": 2124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The centurions covered their ears\nAs the tidings from Gaul fed their fears:\nThe Armorican hordes\nHad forsaken their swords\nAnd were now armed with Brittany spears!", "id": 2125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "In Troy, the Greeks feigned to vamoose,\nAnd their gift led one guard to deduce,\n\"Using avoirdupois weight,\nThis horse left at Troy's gate\nMust weigh, pound for pound, more than Zeus.\"", "id": 2126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "King Richard the Second's oration\nGives viewers like me consternation.\nBy the end of the play\nWhat's occurred I can't say:\nNeither coup nor a true abdication.", "id": 2127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "There's another great meaning of a\nWilliam Shakespeare employed in his day.\nPronouns it, he, and she\nA wrote often, though he\nSometimes called his nouns a in this way.", "id": 2128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The apparat clearly is not\nThe best place for launching a plot.\nOne should never forget\nIf the Duma says nyet\nThen the plotter will likely get shot.", "id": 2129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When assigning the note of a debtor\nOne should ask what is legally better:\nFor assignors to sign, or\nEmploy an assigner?\nIt's not merely the change of a letter.", "id": 2130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Infection spreads through the haustoria\nThat grow from the flat appressoria\nOf 'shrooms parasitical;\nThey work like political\nCampaign ads transmitting dysphoria.", "id": 2131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My zodiac sign is ascendant,\nOr so said the hotline attendant.\nI call horoscope lines\nTo discern if my sign's\nStill arising or turning descendant.", "id": 2132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The cuckolded husband insisted\nIn claiming her falseness persisted.\nHer affair-ridden past\nHe'd brought up, first to last \u2014\nAll her sins, antecedently listed.", "id": 2133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If you, being wheeled on a gurney, slip,\nAnd you fall on a quick downward journey, skip\nThrough the Pages of Yellow\nAnd look up a fellow\nWho's mastered the art of attorneyship.", "id": 2134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Mac was caught wooing Ms. Horshack,\nHer husband attacked him with force. Mac\nLeapt over the table,\nSped out to the stable,\nAnd speedily rode out ahorseback.", "id": 2135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "\"Quite a few\" is well known as a lot,\nOft misspelled as one word though it's not.\nAlot is an error\nThat's not getting rarer\nAnd may need its own OEDILF slot.", "id": 2136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Censor Appius Caesus would roam\nOn a via he built near his home.\nOn this Appian Way\nHe could honestly say\nThat from there all the roads led to Rome.", "id": 2137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Its symptoms include somnolescence,\nAggression, and foul-mouthed excrescence\u2014\nIt's nothing malign;\nYour kid'll be fine,\nIf you can survive adolescence.", "id": 2138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Mr. Sobek, a greedy historian,\nInsured and then torched his DeLorean;\nHe extinguished his smile\nUsing crocodile guile,\nAnd his tears were, of course, archosaurian.", "id": 2139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "The amauropelta fern mounts\nOn a tree trunk, upon which it counts\nNot for food, but a supple\nEmbrace (like a couple\nWith separate checking accounts).", "id": 2140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "\"This dinner's delicious! Korean?\"\nThe host replied, \"Androphagean.\"\n\"How exotic!\" they said,\nBut they would have dropped dead\nHad they known they'd enjoyed human bein'.", "id": 2141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "If you're searching for evergreen vines,\nFind a flowering climber that twines\nFive-leafed foliage high,\nForty feet in the sky:\nAn akebia fits these designs.", "id": 2142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "To those in the blue-blooded class,\nA tapestry's called an arras,\nBut should you decide\nBehind one to hide,\nPolonius, please take a pass.", "id": 2143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Embarrassed, the sybil retired;\nHer prophecy never transpired.\nShe brought in a witch,\nWho said, \"Here's the hitch:\nThis augury's date has expired.\"", "id": 2144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Artie Aardvark was spousally bound,\n'Til his snoot tried to root the wrong mound.\nAs he lay on the gurney,\nSaid wife to attorney,\n\"Serves him right for aardvarking around.\"", "id": 2145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "You trainers all try to outflank us\nBy jabbing our hides with an ankus;\nBut we elephants would\nDo our tricks just as good\nIf you'd learn to say \"please\" and then thank us.", "id": 2146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "\"Every day to teach 'A' they recite me;\nEvery year in Times Square they ignite me.\nI've kept doctors away,\nAnd I've led Eve astray\u2014\nI'm beat,\" said the apple. \"Just bite me.\"", "id": 2147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anecdota, it may be supposed,\nAre personal secrets exposed,\nOr some hoary old myst'ries,\nOr stories or hist'ries\nThat hitherto went undisclosed.", "id": 2148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm making a soup-of-the-day,\nBut it needs some more dill, and I may\nAdd some anise seed, or\nJust a pinch of \"du jour,\"\nWhich enhances the flavor, they say.", "id": 2149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My shopping cart wheels 'round the floor.\nI'll be cooking a dinner for four.\nWhat I covet the most\nIs a tender beef roast.\nSo which aisle has au jus in this store?", "id": 2150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "If a bev'rage or chemical firm should\nSuggest mixing something with wormwood,\nThe instructions would state\nSimply \"absinthiate,\"\nWhich defines it as no other term would.", "id": 2151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "I've met several gorillas in zoos\nWho hold anti-Darwinian views,\nSince if Darwin was right\nThere's a chance that they might\nBe related to Cher or Tom Cruise.", "id": 2152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "I'll believe in the zodiac list,\nJust as long as my star sign is kissed\nBy good fortune and fate:\nYou could say I'm a great\nAstrological positivist.", "id": 2153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Any process where oxygen's near\nIs aerobic, which fills me with cheer.\nWhen they tell me to train,\nI trot out my refrain:\n\"I'm aerobically drinking my beer!\"", "id": 2154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Be it strongly or weakly anthropic,\nThis principle's quite a hot topic:\nAny great TOE\nThat negates you and me\n(Since we're here) clearly must be myopic.", "id": 2155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Time just doesn't matter to me,\nSo I labor asynchronously.\nNow I think that I'll take\nA short well-deserved break...\nI'm back \u2014 but my clocks don't agree.", "id": 2156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When I sing in a voice that is strong,\nAll my neighbors complain loud and long.\nBut it doesn't faze me\nIf I sing out of key.\nI atonally belt out the song.", "id": 2157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "With two chin straps that make it attachable,\nI'm announcing a product unmatchable:\nA nylon toupee\nThat won't shrink, fade, or fray,\nAnd with sideburns completely detachable.", "id": 2158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Her attractance was noticed by all\nAs soon as she entered the ball.\nShe used pheromone spray\nTo help lure boys away\nFrom their dates to go meet in the hall.", "id": 2159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "It's atrociousness, oui, mon ami:\nDry foie gras, cold duxelles, brittle brie.\nAs the sous-chef explained,\nThat's the way he was trained\nAt the Airline Bad Food Compagnie.", "id": 2160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As the atomization took place,\nA fine mist was dispersed into space.\nI am asking you, please,\nThat the next time you sneeze,\nHave the foresight to cover your face.", "id": 2161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "To aseptically handle the food,\nA collection of gloves he accrued.\nBut some gloves were too loose\nAnd while cooking his goose,\nOne fell off his left hand and was stewed.", "id": 2162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The old angler, to no one's surprise,\nStood in waders, aspersing the guys.\nThen a wag who heard all\nSaid out loud in his drawl,\n\"He is casting aspersions, not flies.\"", "id": 2163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A mad cleric once dug a deep well\nTo prove Satan in Hades did dwell.\nBut the heat padre felt\nCaused his shovel to melt;\nThe asthenosphere's hotter than hell.", "id": 2164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Astrophotographs taken have shown\nA large mass, blue in hue, source unknown.\nThe astronomers' math\nHas shown Earth's in the path\nOf this huge asteroidal blue stone.", "id": 2165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A scribe who'd been able and chaste\nWrote some lim'ricks, uncouth and debased.\nThey're ascribable to\nHis imbibing bad brew.\nLike his lim'ricks, it left a bad taste.", "id": 2166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I'm not Type A, I'm Archetype A.\nI'm the model through which we portray\nOur behavior: I whine\nWhen I stand in a line.\nI'm impatient; get out of my way!", "id": 2167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "For a fusion dish weird and yet tony,\nFrom ear shells, use meat (it's not bony).\nGrind the meat (wash it first),\nThen combine it with wurst,\nAnd you'll have abalone baloney.", "id": 2168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A house architecturally sound\nWill not slide all around on the ground.\n  It will not lean askew;\n  Wind won't cause it to slew,\nNor collapse in a muddled-up mound.", "id": 2169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Those archaeologically prone\nAre known to spend time on their own.\n  They dig up the earth\n  For all that they're worth\nFor a pottery shard or a bone.", "id": 2170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "\"My life,\" said the bug, \"is bucolic,\nBecause I am ametabolic.\nI'm not rearranged,\nMy form is unchanged.\nMetamorphosis? No!  I just frolic.\"", "id": 2171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Monosaccharide compounds that wend\nTo a carbonyl group at one end \u2014\n   When six carbons they own,\n   Such sugars are known\nAs \"Ye olde aldohexose,\" my friend.", "id": 2172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Airtightness relates to airtight\nAs politeness relates to polite.\n  In a legal defense\n  It would surely make sense;\nIn a spaceship, its lack is a blight.", "id": 2173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "For zero, or nothing, or none,\nOr the answer to \"one minus one,\"\n  Some people use aught,\n  While some others choose naught,\nOr \"the number of folks on the sun.\"", "id": 2174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "When Wayland the Smith (long ago)\nLaid a sword on his anvil, aglow\u2014\nHis aboutsledge he'd raise\nWith the furnace ablaze\nAnd deliver a thunderous blow.", "id": 2176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "As adjunct, or short-term professor,\nYou'll have the occasional stressor:\nNo parking; no tenure;\nNo office; and then you're\nReplaced by your part-time successor.", "id": 2178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The surgery done on her chest\nMade her bosom protrude east and west.\nSaid the doc, \"I'll be blunt.\nThey should be out in front.\nWhy the heck are your breasts not abreast?\"", "id": 2179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"If I wish to affirm, here and now,\nThat I'll always provide you with chow,\nTell me which you'd prefer \u2014\nAvow or aver?\"\nBut the cat smiled and answered, \"Meow.\"", "id": 2180, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Antenuptial events for the groom\nTry to blind him to forthcoming doom.\nThe guests include strippers\nWho look for big tippers,\nWhile the bridegroom goes \"VA-va-va-VOOM!\"", "id": 2181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Antenuptial events for the bride\nInvolve \"showers\" from which she can't hide.\nShe must ooh! at each nightie\nAnd act young and flighty,\nWithout a scintilla of pride.", "id": 2182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An addlebrained actor named Dirk\nWas much the buffoon at his work\nSo he toiled as a waiter,\nHoping sooner or later\nHe wouldn't appear such a jerk.", "id": 2183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The addressograph's now obsolete.\nWe have digitized labels (how neat!)\nThat come from a printer\nIn summer and winter;\nOld technology cannot compete.", "id": 2184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Though I cheerfully set off for work,\nIt's here on this website I lurk.\nMy alacrity's lacking;\nI find myself slacking\u2014\nThe duties I'm paid for I shirk.", "id": 2185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Amoebae don't know about sex.\nThey've nary a muscle to flex.\nThey've only one cell\n(Which they think is just swell).\nGoing fission requires no pecs.", "id": 2186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A shy artist, no partier he,\nWas besieged by one heartier: me!\n\"Your great passion's aflame\nJust at work\u2014what a shame!\nCan't you an artier partier be?\"", "id": 2187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "This series, I'd call a sensation.\nWe're feeding the fans on frustration.\nContinued extension\nOf sexual tension\nFills viewers with anticipation.", "id": 2188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "AKA", "limerick": "When her poking with something acicular\n(Meaning \"needle-like\") in a testicular\nSort of place causes men\nNot to call her again,\nBarb asks, \"Why are they all so particular?\"", "id": 2189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A person who's aka\nIs a person who certainly has\nAlternative names\nFrom those he proclaims\nWhich he'll hide or else use with pizzazz.", "id": 2190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In the pub quiz, each answer I'd utter,\nThe quizmaster \"uh-uh\" would mutter.\n\"So it's hot, and it's slow...\nIt's a sauna-bath, no?\"\n\"It's lava.\" \"Oh, a'a,\" I splutter.", "id": 2191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I want to amend this short rhyme,\nWhich isn't, they tell me, sublime.\nBut I've places to go,\nAnd I've people to know.\nRevise it? I haven't the time.", "id": 2192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "People can stroll arm in arm\nAnd seldom cause worry or harm.\nBut it's walking on eggs\nWhen you just have four legs,\nAnd four paws are a part of your charm.", "id": 2193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A glutton, to gobble with ease,\nWill overindulge by degrees.\nAmong his devices:\nEat 64 slices\nOf processed American cheese.", "id": 2194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though the student's intentions were good,\nHis attention still strayed where it would.\n\"Aw, teacher, I tried!\"\n\"But your mind's not applied.\nSo: detention. Is that understood?\"", "id": 2195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Dominique planned her beau a surprise,\nPainting domino spots on her thighs.\nWith 6-5's at the knees,\nThen 5-4's and 4-3's,\nWhere the ace was, we're left to surmise.", "id": 2196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Stack all of the cars in the nation\nOn high at a single location.\nWhen we measure, oblique,\nFrom horizon to peak,\nThat's an angle of huge elevation!", "id": 2197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "To enliven the view from my shack,\nI once planted a quickbeam out back.\nThat inveterate rowan\nKeeps growin' and growin' \u2014\nI've an arboricultural knack.", "id": 2198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bride, after dressing for hours\nFor a wedding that's held at Trump Towers,\nHolds a lovely bouquet \u2014\nShe holds two?  Shall I say\nShe holds armsful or armfuls of flowers?", "id": 2199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My priceless art, all Asiatic,\nMakes my mantel look simply dramatic.\nIt's all Oriental\u2014\nSome bought and some rental.\nI'm a true ornamental fanatic.", "id": 2200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "With an acarine type of disease,\nYou don't have a problem with fleas.\nIt's with ticks and with mites\nAnd their wee-tiny bites.\nThey're the cause of your pain and unease.", "id": 2201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Prof. Windy's just slightly bombastic\nWhen ranting on matters scholastic\u2014\nHis students conjecture\nThey rebuilt his lecture\nHall's walls to be aeroelastic.", "id": 2202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Dr. Livingston, do I presume?\nOr is that far too much to assume?\nHenry Stanley's the name,\nFinding you is my game \u2014\nSo I'm glad I don't have to exhume.", "id": 2203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Our CEO's new acquisition\nWas purchased against its volition:\nHis corporate raiders\nWere ruthless invaders\nWho tendered it into submission.", "id": 2204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The Akita who howled in the night\nWas a beacon for justice and right,\nBut the glove didn't fit\nSo they had to acquit,\nAnd the dog was reduced to a cite.", "id": 2205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In college, the \"aggie\" was thought\nTo be merely a cow-milking nought.\nAt the glimpse of an udder,\nWe'd all of us shudder\nAnd wonder, \"Oh, what hath God wrought!\"", "id": 2206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a girl from Nantucket\nWho could carry her airs in a bucket;\nWhy \"goodbye\" when \"adieu\"\nCould lead to the view\nShe should take each adieu and go suck it?", "id": 2207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amasthenic's a term one might cite\nFor a lens, and synonymous, quite,\nWith the word amacratic\n(Now called achromatic),\nMeaning focusing two kinds of light.", "id": 2208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The kids won't sit still?  Never fear.  It's\nNot hyperactivity, dear; it's\nThe first day of Spring\nWhich is well-known to bring\nOn an excess of animal spirits.", "id": 2209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Aristae means bristles, like those\nThat adorn ears of corn, I suppose.\nAn arista's just one;\nIf you're graced with a ton\nYou're aristate.  With that we shall close.", "id": 2210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An addled-brained lad from Key Largo,\nDesiring to transport some cargo,\nArranged an affreightment\nBut made a misstatement.\nThe consequence? Total embargo.", "id": 2211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Let me tell you about Abadan.\nIt's a city in southern Iran.\nThere's a lot of crude oil\nHidden under its soil\nWhich its citizens pump when they can.", "id": 2212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A tester, when plunged into batter,\nCan tell if it's done or will splatter.\nBut when witness you need\nTo the truth of a screed,\nAn attester can settle the matter.", "id": 2213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"Flow gently, sweet Afton,\" Burns wrote,\nA nice quiet place for a float.\nBut then the next phrase\nSays something of \"braes,\"\nWhich sounds like an ass or a goat.", "id": 2214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Algaroba refers to a tree:\nThe mesquite or the carob, you see.\nBoth can make things taste good,\nWith their pods or their wood,\nBut they seem plenty different to me.", "id": 2215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though you might find an Ascaris round,\nYou won't want to know where it's found.\nThis intestinal worm\nCan make strong doctors squirm\nAs they view a \"routine\" ultrasound.", "id": 2216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I think apples are better in strudels.\nI want them now, oodles and oodles.\nThey smell so good baking\nDon't waste your time making\nDull treats without dough for your poodles.", "id": 2217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Amazonian: a word that's applied\nTo a girl with machismo supplied.\n\tLike a Scythian of old,\n\tShe's pugnacious and bold\n(Or her bra's a bit loose on one side).", "id": 2218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Nigeria, \"Get off my shoe!\"\nDoesn't do in a job interview\nWith a Yoruba who\nIs much bigger than you:\nYou must translate this into Aku.", "id": 2219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If from your calm life you are hurled,\nAnd dark clouds o'erhead are unfurled,\nYou see Pluto (or Hades)\nSome dead gents and ladies:\nYou're now part of death's afterworld.", "id": 2220, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You abseiled off a roof for a charity\nAnd enjoyed a pure moment of clarity\n'Cause you made a mistake\nAnd the rope chanced to break\nAnd body and pavement reached parity.", "id": 2222, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "One weekend, my poor wife and I\nSought a house to affordably buy.\nA McMansion was nice,\nBut its very steep price?\nIt was twice what I'd say was too high!", "id": 2223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "We must improve things in Detroit\nIf new markets we hope to exploit.\nWe must be quick-witted,\nOur cars all well-fitted.\nIn short, we must be more adroit.", "id": 2224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "You're expert.  You're skillful.  OK.\nYou're master of all you survey.\nIn this country I guess\nYou'd be called a success.\nIn France, they would say you're au fait.", "id": 2225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I think that I'm under arrest.\nIt's because I'm an imp and a pest.\nWhen folks try to eat,\nI bellow and bleat.\nNow the cops want to make me their guest.", "id": 2226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I accomplish a lot every day.\nThere are biscuits for breakfast (hooray!),\nThen what treats I can beg,\nLike a piece of Mom's egg.\nIf I don't get my way, I just bay.", "id": 2227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Count Dracula's looked at with dread.\nHe's often described as \"undead.\"\nThis archfiend's immortal.\nHe'll storm any portal.\nJust ask anybody he's bled.", "id": 2228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I looked at her somewhat askance\nTo avoid going into a trance.\nShe was totally stunning\nSo I yelped and went running\nSince I knew that I hadn't a chance.", "id": 2229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I assoil you: you're free, do no time;\nYou're pardoned, it's not on your dime.\nYou're acquitted, released,\nThe state's action has ceased:\n\"I pronounce you not guilty of crime.\"", "id": 2230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "An aspiring young fed looked about\nIn a hunt for subversives to rout.\nOn his very first case\nHe put moles to the chase\nAnd a spy ring thus ferreted out.", "id": 2231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A psychosis is rife in Albania\nThat the doctors have named \"U-Haul-mania.\"\nWith Europe they're fed up.\nThey want now to head up\nAnd move to Monroe, Pennsylvania.", "id": 2232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Though defined as a hundred years old,\n\"Antiques\" are too frequently sold\nBy calling them \"junque\"\u2014\nOr worse, \"retro funk\"\u2014\nWhich (though new) boosts their price twentyfold.", "id": 2233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The archbishop was pious and holy.\nHe was also, it seems, roly-poly.\nHe waddled a bit,\nAnd it's sad to admit\nThat he garnered less awe than the lowly.", "id": 2234, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am filled with profound apprehension.\nIt's a thing I perhaps shouldn't mention.\nI opted for beans\nWhen my host offered greens,\nAnd I'll now pay the price of distension.", "id": 2235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If ever you touch antimatter,\nIt and you will both instantly scatter;\nInto photons will pass\nSome of your (and its) mass\nAs surroundings abruptly grow flatter.", "id": 2236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A poison that acts on the nerve,\nAconitine crystals will serve\nTo examine, in part,\nAn arrhythmical heart,\nBut do not put them in an hors d'oeuvre.", "id": 2237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Polymerase enzymes must stay\nAttached while they make DNA:\nTakes an anchor or tether\nTo keep them together,\nLike eukaryotes' PCNA.", "id": 2238, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Some Abnaki bands made a long trek\n'Cross the border and into Quebec.\nOthers chose to remain\nOn New England terrain,\nWhere they gave early settlers some heck.", "id": 2239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A young tourist decided to go\nOn a Mexican holiday so\nHe could lie in the sand\nAnd then really get tanned.\nAcapulco was perfect, you know!", "id": 2240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Things flavored, and scented, and dyed\nThanks to aldehydes, Al takes in stride;\nBut a bumblebee lured\nTo a bottle and cured\nIn formaldehyde sent Al to hide.", "id": 2241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "It isn't your fault, I assure you,\nHer beauty has managed to lure you.\nI assign all the blame\nTo that dissolute dame. . . .\nStill, I find that I cannot endure you.", "id": 2242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When writing a speech to impress,\nDon't bungle and leave off an \"s\".\nYou'll learn what \"harass\" is\nWith talk about asses\nWhen that's not what you meant to assess.", "id": 2243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The OEDILF is just barely begun.\nIt will be quite some time ere it's done.\nThere's a million or two\nLim'ricks still left to do \u2014\nAn aeonian project, but fun!", "id": 2244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Ariadne, a princess of Crete,\nHelped Athenian Theseus cheat.\nOnce his razor-sharp knife\nTook the Minotaur's life,\n'Twas her thread marked the path for his feet.", "id": 2245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Most faeries and queenes will attest,\nThey enjoy alexandrines the best.\nWith six iambs per line\nIt's a fine old design,\nBut sounds peculiar when you're used to anapest.", "id": 2246, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though aliment brightens your mood,\nWhether microwaved, roasted, or stewed,\nYou'll encounter frustration\nIn alimentation:\nSome grocers don't know it means \"food.\"", "id": 2247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Andantino means play somewhat fast:\nA bit less than a second goes past\nFor each metronome click\nWhen a drumstick you flick\nOr when trumpets amassed give a blast.", "id": 2248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Now an area isn't 3-D;\nIt's just length times the width, don't you see.\nBut an aria's better \u2014\nJust changing one letter\nGives volume \u2014 but too much for me!", "id": 2249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "As our vessel up Cook Inlet passed,\nWe were sick, sore, and sour, keel to mast.\nSearching por'side and starboar',\nWe couldn' find harbor,\nTill Anchorage showed up at last.", "id": 2250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Arbor vitae means either the tree\nThat produces alerce (q.v.)\nOr the grim \"tree of life\"\nThat's revealed when a knife\nCuts the brain longitudinally.", "id": 2252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "When the cultural style of a nation\nIs transformed by decree or migration,\nSo that language and dress\nAre more Arab and less\nWhat they were, that's arabicization.", "id": 2253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Feeling peaky, I dosed my clam chowder\nWith strong antimonial powder.\nThis Algaroth stew\nSent me straight to the loo,\nWhere my retching grew louder and louder.", "id": 2254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The aerosphere's barely a ghost\nOf a gaseous layer. At most,\nIt's a hundred miles tall,\nYet without it we'd all\nVery quickly be nothing but toast.", "id": 2255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Aeroplankton abounds everywhere\u2014\nLiving stuff that's suspended in air:\nMini plant-life and beasts\nSuch as spiders and yeasts\u2014\nWhich is why we evolved nasal hair.", "id": 2256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "At her birthday, young Alice McBride\nHung a dolphin and ass side-by-side.\n\"It was destined to fail,\nFor my guests pinned the tail\nAccidentally on porpoise!\" she cried.", "id": 2257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Ai's a sloth, with toes numbering three;\nAnd he lives in perpetual glee\n\tWay down south in Guiana:\n\tHe shuns the banana,\nBut sups on the tall trumpet-tree.", "id": 2258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Any jeweller would make enough room in a\nSetting for these, I presume; in a\nCrystalline form,\nI'd say ruby's the norm,\nOr else sapphire: two types of alumina.", "id": 2259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Plants grow taller from cells at their peak.\n(Well, until they meet pruners' technique.)\nWhen that meristem's chopped,\nGrowing apically's stopped\nAnd the plant starts a lateral streak.", "id": 2260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Vitus Bering\u2014or so he's averring\u2014\nFeeds his cat so it never stops purring.\n\"Though it's narrow, this Strait,\nOur exploring must wait!\nWe're deferring while herring are stirring!\"", "id": 2261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Love's great passion doth ardently burn\nIn the heart, not the brain, do we learn.\nLove's great fervor in youth\nTricketh mind, twisteth truth,\n'Til we learn to discern what we yearn.", "id": 2262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Her neckwear was always in fashion,\nFor lustrous silk scarves were her passion.\nAlamode kept her hot \u2014\nThat's the fabric, and not\nA delicious and cold ice-cream ration.", "id": 2263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "\"My God said so,\" she claimed in debate,\nAnd her thinking was really first-rate:\nBelief is the particle\nForming an article\nOf faith that thou shalt not negate.", "id": 2264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "By the contract, he was my apprentice \u2014\nThough an articled boy, quite portentous!\nHe developed his style,\nPut my patience on trial,\nAnd the contract-end day was momentous.", "id": 2265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "An alkoxy's an ether's one side\n(Ethers being two chains by O tied).\nThat oxygenous heart\nLends its name to one part,\nWith the other left oxy-denied.", "id": 2266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the principle known as anthropic,\nFrom the cosmic to most microscopic,\nEvery bit is designed\nTo be best for Mankind.\nWere it not, who'd be airing this topic?", "id": 2267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My cuteness is certainly ample.\nI wish I could give you a sample.\nWith a shoebutton nose\nAnd adorable toes,\nI'm of puppy a stellar example.", "id": 2268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Sherlock Holmes took a passenger boat\nAlong a canal where he'd float.\nThen Doc Watson, still game,\nAsked the waterway's name.\n\"Aliment'ry, dear Watson\"\u2014I quote.", "id": 2269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "She affectingly bade him farewell.\nShe was left with some tales she'd ne'er tell.\nIt was poignant and sad\nAs she turned from the lad \u2014\nAnd told him to go straight to hell.", "id": 2270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "If ye're Scots, and one fine efternuiny\nYe look, and see something balloony\n\tWay up ower ye hied\n\tThen pay heed indeed:\nIt isnae above but aboon ye.", "id": 2271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I lay my thick head down to sleep,\nWith a sniffle at each passing sheep.\nIt gets on my nerves\n'Cause this allergy serves\nTo make my catarrh gently weep.", "id": 2272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Our veterinarian Jay\nSays alsike-type clover in hay\nFor a horse or a cow\nMust be dried in a mow:\nIf it never grows mold it's okay.", "id": 2273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "My boss has the power to appoint\nAnd is pointedly running this joint.\nHe's appointive, you see,\nIf he reassigns me\nTo a post where his feet I'll anoint.", "id": 2274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Antiochus thought he was hot,\nMaking Jews worship his gods a lot.\nBut they fought him and won,\nCleaned the Temple; when done,\nEight days' oil from one day's they got.", "id": 2275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I'm engaged in a war of attrition\nWith a neighbouring nuisance musician.\nI e-mail him daily:\n\"Re: Your Ukulele\"\u2014\nI'll inbox him into submission!", "id": 2276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "At the crossroads, I stood at a loss.\nTo turn left?  To turn right?  Straight across?\nHow on earth could I know\nBy which road I should go?\nI'd no coins with three faces to toss!", "id": 2277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Columbus was wrong in his quest:\nThe Indies weren't off to the west.\nLater visitors learnt\nThat the Indians weren't,\nAnd that Native American's best.", "id": 2278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Use a dab to avoid much chagrin,\nWhen germs are attacking your skin.\nAntiseptic is used\nWhen you're scraped and you're bruised\nSo infections stop 'fore they dig in.", "id": 2279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Goliath Gregorius Grape\nWas the size and the form of an ape.\nHis every scintilla\nSuggested gorilla:\nThe guy was an anthropoid shape.", "id": 2280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Eat fava beans cooked in a pan,\nBe familiarized with the Koran,\nKnow the Arabic tongue,\nHow an oud should be strung:\nArabism might follow this plan.", "id": 2281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "That asphaltite, mineral fair!\nIt hardens when out in the air,\nBut when deep in the earth,\nIt's a liquid, and worth\nQuite a bundle for roadway repair.", "id": 2282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Adagio music should go\nQuite slowly (but not largo slow!)\u2014\nThe Barber is famous.\nBut some ignoramus\nWould think it was boring, you know.", "id": 2283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"There's no God!\" is the atheist stance.\nInto Heaven he'll never advance.\nAn agnostic says \"Let's\nGo on hedging our bets:\nAt least that way we'll still have a chance.\"", "id": 2284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Ashkenazic Jews' language is real.\nIt's contributed words such as spiel \u2014\nAlso matzos and shtick,\nSchmendrick, goyim, and glik,\nMeshugina, gelt, and schlemiel.", "id": 2285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Atemoya's a tropical fruit\nOf Latin American root.\nNow some Florida farmers\nAre growing these charmers \u2014\nThey're sweet, and nutritious to boot.", "id": 2286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anatomy centers around\nWhere the bones and the muscles are found,\nWhere the feet and the hands,\nAnd the lymph nodes and glands,\nAnd the tissues and organs abound.", "id": 2287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An A train will take you uptown,\nTo Harlem, then bring you back down;\nAn A-frame (chalet)\nIs a house shaped like A,\nAnd an A-line's a delta-shaped gown.", "id": 2288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amphictyony comes from Old Greek\nWhen the city-states lay cheek-to-cheek.\nIt means joined in a pack\nTo defend or attack\nSo the strong can make up for the weak.", "id": 2289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He chooses his words on a whim.\nHis chances of aptness are slim.\nWe listen, astonished,\nAs we are admonished:\nDon't misunderestimate him.", "id": 2290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "There's a question that has to be faced:\nWas the whole Reformation a waste?\nThe \"high\" C of E\nWould doubtless agree\n'Cos these Anglos have Catholic taste.", "id": 2291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "To make aleberry, find some good beer\n(Budget lager won't cut it, I fear),\nThen heat it with spices,\nAdd bread in thick slices,\nAnd drink to a Happy New Year!", "id": 2292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The housekeeper's friend NH3\nKeeps dwellings bacteria-free.\nGerms leave me alone if I\nAlways ammonify,\nAnd so do my in-laws \u2014 yippee!", "id": 2293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "To apostatize means to depart\nFrom the faith that you had at the start.\nThen the ones who abide\nCan discuss your false pride,\nAnd your stubborn, iniquitous heart.", "id": 2294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Unless you are told to await\nBy apparent time, trust in the rate\nOf your watch. Through no guile,\nE'en your best sunny dial\nApparently might make you late.", "id": 2295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "An aardvark once said to an ant\n\"I'd like to abstain, but I can't,\nFrom eating you up,\nFor it makes me feel ***sslup***\nOh dear, didn't finish my rant.\"", "id": 2296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "My wife's pregnancy? Hardly a dream,\nAs her cravings just caused me to steam.\nI about swore to God,\nFor her appetency odd\nHad me searching for pickle ice cream.", "id": 2297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "How they got here, I haven't a clue.\nEven we had to come by canoe!\nThough they're fun to caress,\nThey're sure making a mess.\nCould you airdrop a catbox or two?", "id": 2298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "\"I dug up some slate,\" you declare.\n\"You've no cleavage,\" I say, and you glare.\n\"No, the rock,\" I explain.\n\"You can't break off a plane.\nMust be argillite.  Keep it; it's rare.\"", "id": 2299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some ascarids live in your gut.\nThese roundworms are harmful, somewhat.\nIt's quite hard to cure 'em:\nYou mostly endure 'em.\nTheir eggs sometimes come out your butt.", "id": 2300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Definining accel. isn't hard,\nSo there's no need to be on your guard:\nIt's a musical sign\nMeaning \"speed up the time\"\u2014\nJust the opposite of a ritard.", "id": 2301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Though amate is a word rather neat,\nIt's become, I'm afraid, obsolete.\nWhether \"mating and pairing,\"\nOr \"daunting and scaring,\"\nTo use it today sounds effete.\t", "id": 2302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"The globe is a much safer place\nWhen the US and Europe embrace,\"\nThe Atlanticists cry.\nBut the pacifists sigh,\n\"All this arms talk is just a disgrace.\"", "id": 2303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Upon meeting a late debauchee,\nOld St. Peter accosts him with glee.\nFor his fun with the ladies,\nPete sends him to Hades:\nFor sin has a cost, don't you see?", "id": 2304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Akrabbim's the name of a pass\nWhere the scorpions sting and harass.\nThe place is infested\nWith insects detested,\nLike Phoenix\u2014my home's there, alas.", "id": 2305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Your white skin emerging's a clue,\nAnd pink eyes\u2014no usual hue.\nGadzooks\u2014you're albino,\nYou sweet baby rhino!\nWe're thrilled you'll debut at our zoo.", "id": 2306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Adaunt: \"to subdue\" or \"to quell\"\nThe rage of a lion most fell.\nBut when beasts flaunt their claws\nYou should daunt them, because\nIt's quicker and works just as well.", "id": 2307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "O acrobat up on the wire,\nYour high-flying stunts we admire.\nIn your splendors we bask,\nBut we simply must ask,\nWhat made you choose kilts as attire?", "id": 2308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Young Abital, fresh-faced and cheery\n(Her name means she's \"dewy,\" not teary),\nBecame the fifth spouse\nWithin King David's house,\nAfter two, three, and four had grown weary.", "id": 2309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Our lim'ricks are cute and quite pretty,\nAnd readers may say that they're witty.\nBut are they Aesopic,\nConcealing some topic\nOf doom?  No they're not, more's the pity.", "id": 2310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My wife doesn't even react\nWhen someone observes that I'm cracked.\nYou see, she is quite sane,\nSo it proves once again\nThat opposites surely attract.", "id": 2311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "So you're bored and you're looking for schism?\nEspouse antinomianism!\nTell them all, \"There's no rules,\nOnly faith, you poor fools,\nAnd our morals should sink to abysm!\"", "id": 2312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When I tear something made out of crepe,\nI have one chosen way to reshape\nWhat I've ruined. I swear,\nSuch allegiance is rare!\nYes, I am an adherer to tape!", "id": 2313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "She thought the best spouse she had culled;\nA year later, the passion had dulled.\nNo building a nursery \u2014\nOn their first anniversary\nThe pair had the marriage annulled.", "id": 2314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We're a bastion of capitalism.\nOur leaders have overcome schism\nAnd are forming, I'm told,\nPlans enlightened and bold\nSuch as punishing alienism.", "id": 2315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Her stories are all intertwined\nWith plot twists that boggle the mind.\nThis anfractuosity\nSparks curiosity:\nWhy is her writing maligned?", "id": 2316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Aluminum sulfate I'm scanning.\nIn paper it's used, and in tanning,\nAnd there even may be\nAl2(SO4)3\nIn your water.  Just ask City Planning.", "id": 2317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The ovule's inverted and straight\nWith inferior radicle.  Wait...\nThe hilum's right here\nWith the micropyle near;\nThis plant is anatropous.  Great!", "id": 2318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "From up high, take a shot at the ground,\nOr take pictures of clouds that you've found.\nWhen they're put to the test,\nAngle shots are the best\nIf you've had it with looking around.", "id": 2319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "\"Help! This young man is quite sick!\nTell the nurse to get over here quick!\nTongue's as big as a ham,\nAnd the anti-inflam-\nmatory's not doing the trick!\"", "id": 2320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The adhesive refused to adhere.\nIt wasn't too sticky, 'twas clear,\nBut the chap at 3M\nWho had failed at this chem\nWith Post-it Notes saved his career.", "id": 2321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Do you think that some swats with my brolly would\nMake them less Anglophobic in Hollywood?\nMust their rogues all be Brits?\nStill, I think that such hits\nWould not hurt like withholding my lolly would.", "id": 2322, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mdlees", "limerick": "If one antineutron should zoom\nAnd collide with a neutron, with whom\nIt shares zero charge,\nThe result, by and large\n(To use technical terms), is \"kaboom!\"", "id": 2323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"It's better to give than to get\":\nWords of Jesus, I'm willing to bet.\nBut wouldn't you know it?\nThe Gospels don't show it.\nThey're part of the agrapha set.", "id": 2324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our previous stimuli weave\nSubtle patterns of thought that achieve\nThe conditions whereat\nWe can recognize that\nWhich we see, a.k.a. apperceive.", "id": 2325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I love Philadelphia so,\nWith its Mediterranean glow,\"\nSaid the Roman Jordanian\n(Not Pennsylvanian).\nToday, it's Amman; then, amo.", "id": 2326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "So ably and nimbly and sprightly,\nTheir billowy gowns spinning slightly,\nSilhouettes deftly twirl,\nPirouetting awhirl;\nSlender shadows, they swirl, oh so lightly.", "id": 2327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I stumble; I fumble; I clunk\nMy head as I crawl to my bunk.\nBanged and bruised, I won't whine\n'Cause my muscles are fine,\nNot remotely apraxic: I'm drunk.", "id": 2328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you're tired of dressing up formally,\nConsider behaving abnormally:\nCover up in a sheet,\nAnd wear clogs on your feet,\nAnd groan like a ghost, paranormally.", "id": 2329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I cherished my pet axolotl;\nI found him, one day, in a bottle.\nI tugged on his tail...\n\"Oh no!\" did I wail:\n\"I've rendered my lizard acaudal!\"", "id": 2330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The preposterously large soup tureen\nEncompassed, in width, one arsheen.\nIn Russia, of courscht,\nIt was filled up with borscht:\nNothing beats such a beet-filled cuisine!", "id": 2331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "His wife all too painfully knew\nHe'd had mistresses\u2014more than a few.\nSo last Christmas she gave\nTo her consummate knave\nA new aftershave, Pepe le Pew.", "id": 2332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Pythagoras, rod and reel dangling,\nCouldn't keep all his tackle from tangling.\nHis plight he lamented,\nUntil he invented\nA theorem to simplify angling.", "id": 2333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you start with a parallel line,\nThen you stretch, spin, or shift your design,\nIf it's parallel still,\nThough you warp as you will,\nThen your whole transformation's affine.", "id": 2334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A scientist seeking true fame\nLooked for rocks that were not quite the same.\nTo an amphibole odd\nEager Prof gave a nod:\nAenigmatite made the guy's name.", "id": 2335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "When I bend, and the forecast says rain,\nMy old knees make me moan and complain.\nThere's an ache in my wrist\nIf I'm making a fist.\nIt's my woeful articular pain.", "id": 2336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Astrologically, me and the wife\nShould be destined for trouble and strife,\nSince Pisces and Leo\nCan never agree. Oh,\nThank heavens the stars don't match life!", "id": 2337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Seeing loved ones will not make you glad;\nMissing lost ones will not make you sad.\n\tBut then (what is worse),\nAcathexis's curse:\nDoing taxes will not make you mad.", "id": 2338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Some people, they like their puns runny,\nFor puns on the runs are quite funny.\nSuch dextrous dictation\nIs adnomination \u2014\nYou might even think that it's punny.", "id": 2339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An auditor auditing books,\nFinding errors wherever she looks,\nIs distraught to uncover\nA fraud, and discover\nThe company's teeming with crooks.", "id": 2340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Old Eli, high priest, served the Lord\nDown in Shiloh; both sons he ignored.\nHe ceded his powers\nHis final few hours\nTo Ahitub, his grandson adored.", "id": 2341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To aggrandize a guy's to embellish:\nTo make him appear to be swellish\nWhen really he's not\nSo especially hot\u2014\nExcept in the sense that he's hellish.", "id": 2342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Some arbiters like to amerce:\nTo punish with fines, if not worse.\nLim'rick judges, sometimes,\nChasten flaws in my rhymes\nBy demanding a whole 'nother verse.", "id": 2343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Steve's orchid-love went to his head,\nSo to fair Madagascar he sped,\nWhere the \"pearl\" of that isle\nMade the botanist smile:\n\"It's Aerangis punctata!\" he said.", "id": 2344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This guy... went by \"Pete\"... out-of.... towner,\nHe sold me... a verb or... a noun... or\nA drug... yeah, that's... right.\nI slept... through... the night\nOn Amytal... man... what a... downer.", "id": 2345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An astonishing super event \u2014\nI was born to a fam'ly named Kent.\nI turned out rather spry,\nBut my brother could fly,\nAnd off leaping tall buildings he went.", "id": 2346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I once had a lyre from Nantucket.\nTo play it, one needed to pluck it.\nIt fell into ruin,\nAnd so out-of-tune,\nI thought it was better to chuck it.", "id": 2347, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a well-proven medical theorem:\nIf germs make you tremble and fear 'em,\nBlood taken from those\nWho've been lately exposed\nCan be processed to yield antiserum.", "id": 2348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "One-eyed tigers that list to the right,\nCaught on fire find themselves in a plight:\nIt is hard to be cheerful\nWith asymmetries fearful\nWhen one burns in the forests of night.", "id": 2349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Whenever our muscles we flex,\nFrom the ones in our toes to our necks,\nAdductors we're using\u2014\nIt's not so confusing.\n(Deductors we use to write checks.)", "id": 2350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Asymmetry isn't a spot\nWhere a coffin's interred in a plot.\nIt signifies one\nSide of something you've done,\nWhen it's matched to the other, does not.", "id": 2351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Archegonium shields its egg's space:\nThrough its fluid, the antherozoids race;\nThe one who gets in\nWill certainly win\nThis year's trophy for liverwort ace.", "id": 2352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There ain't nothing that's under the firmament\nLike that old antigenic determinant.\nIts immune specificity\nDeserves more publicity,\nAnd its place in our hearts should be permanent.", "id": 2353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A warrior-priest of great fame\nWas Absalon, Danes may proclaim.\nHe beat up the Wends\nAnd their pirate-fleet friends.\nAn archbishop he later became.", "id": 2354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "On the stream bank the dark Alnus grew.\nAnd beside 'twas a Taxus debut.\n\"You'll lose our light fight,\"\nSaid the tree of great height,\n\"For I'll always be alder than yew.\"", "id": 2355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The sun is too bright; I'm asquint.\nI need glasses that have a dark tint.\nIf I keep my eyes closed,\nI'll most surely get hosed\nAnd wind up in a 40-pound splint.", "id": 2356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My vinyl is so antiquated!\nMy eight-tracks? They're awfully dated.\nMy cassettes don't work well\nThough my CDs sound swell,\nAt least 'til the next thing's created.", "id": 2357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ghost Writer", "limerick": "Mr. Oblique, for a hoot,\nDressed up in a bowtie and suit.\nHis suspenders got tangles\nAnd altered his angles,\nSo people all said, \"He's acute!\"", "id": 2358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "To explain in a word that apparel\nJust means \"clothing\" is truthful but sterile.\nRather, why not provide\nAn example, a guide?\nWhat'll do this? Whatever you wear'll.", "id": 2359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The aardvark that ate Cincinnati\nExpanded so boundlessly that he\nUnfastened his pants\nAnd decided that ants,\nThough less tasty, were also less fatty.", "id": 2360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Arthropathy (joint-type disease)\nIs causing sharp pains in my knees.\nBut the pills that I take\nFor the ache also make\nMy poor heart beat in twos and in threes.", "id": 2361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Ahimelech, sadly, is dead.\nTo David he served holy bread,\nWhich angered King Saul,\nAnd the gist of it all\nIs: he should have got takeout instead.", "id": 2362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "My ant has an aunt, we can glean,\nIn an anthill near here; she's the queen.\nBut I can't likewise grant\nThat my aunt has an ant,\nJust a costume from last Halloween.", "id": 2363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Speaking anthropocentrically, I\nWould prefer that we not search the sky\nFor quick-witted ETs,\nWho'd subdue us with ease,\n'Til we  know what they like in their pie.", "id": 2364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An isle where the wind blows in gales,\nWith its farms full of hay packed in bales,\nAnd its maids roly poly\nAnd Head very Holy,\nIs Anglesey, \"Mother of Wales.\"", "id": 2365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "At the school UNM, girls are perky\nAnd pleasant, and guys are not jerky.\nCatch a flight! ABQ\nWill be ready for you\nAs you fly into fair Albuquerque.", "id": 2366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Whether surname or middle or first,\nTry spelling this name, and you're cursed.\nThere's Allen and Alan\nAnd Allin and Allan;\nAlain, en Fran\u00e7ais, is the worst!", "id": 2367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A proposal to tax the attackers\nWas nixed by the president's backers.\nShellacking Iraq\nIn a taxing attack\nWas preferred by his pollsters and trackers.", "id": 2368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "This Venturia called inaequalis\nMakes a spot on my fruit like a callus.\nWhen I spot apple scab\nOn Delicious or crab,\nI'm annoyed and I bear it much malice.", "id": 2369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The Angles, like Saxons and Jutes,\nWere Germanic and wore leather boots.\nTo England they came,\nTo the land gave their name:\nNow they eat fish and chips and wear suits.", "id": 2370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Aspidistra, with leaves green and crisp,\nIs hardy\u2014no will-o'-the-wisp.\nIt will thrive, even bloom,\nIn a dark, gloomy room.\n(It's a job to pronounce with a lisp.)", "id": 2371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "If there's one thing a knight wants to be,\nIt's well armored, not armorless, oui?\nWith no garb known as mail\nTo protect parts so frail,\nNo amour in the night will he see!", "id": 2372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "This critic's of minor repute;\nHis empathy's much too acute:\nThe awful soprano\nWho shrieked through \"\u00c8 strano!\"\nHe called \"just minutely argute.\"", "id": 2373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "At sexual practice adept,\nLenore was a woman soon kept.\nShe lived in a condo\nOn a beach called Redondo.\nWhen her skills weren't needed, she slept.", "id": 2374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "My figure, as you can well see,\nIs flat from my neck to my knee.\nIf I looked like an \"S,\"\nI could fill out a dress,\nSo doctor, please annodate me.", "id": 2375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "The folks of the young abiturient\nDid all that they could to make sure he went\nTo the school that was best,\nBut they couldn't have guessed,\nHe planned only to study things prurient.", "id": 2376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose Nunez", "limerick": "The sunflower bragged he'd grow faster\nThan Daisy, and shortly he passed her.\nShe wilted, ashamed,\nUntil Poppy exclaimed,\n\"Ignore him; he's just a big aster.\"", "id": 2377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If a man had one daughter so dear,\nThat would make him a parent, we hear.\n'Tis apparently true;\nDoubly so, since there's two.\nThat's transparently, patently clear.", "id": 2378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Each morning I do my ablutions\nWith various cleaning solutions.\nI wash and I scrub\nAnd I cleanse and I rub\u2014\nIt's one of this year's resolutions.", "id": 2379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "In baseball, the Sox were the worst;\nSome other team always came first.\nWhen they traded Babe Ruth,\nThey just sank\u2014that's the truth\u2014\nAll the fans thought the team was accursed.", "id": 2380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "He seemed to be walking on air,\nAnd for us he defined debonaire.\nWhen with Ginger he danced,\nWe just sat there, entranced.\nHe was one of a kind:   Fred Astaire.", "id": 2381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"Don't you dare wear that filthy shirt here,\"\nThe mechanic's wife said with a sneer.\n\"You can fix flats all day\nBut at home find a way\nTo start changing attire, my dear.\"", "id": 2382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "That's an adder's mouth.  No, it won't bite;\nWith no teeth it's unlikely to fight.\nIt's a plant like a pink;\nJust a weed, many think.\nIt's called chickweed, you say? Why, you're right!", "id": 2383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Two girls spent a day in Duluth:\nThe brunette dined on toast and vermouth,\nWhile the fair one amassed\nA most splendid repast,\nSince the blonde had more funds.  It's the truth!", "id": 2384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "These chatters most certainly vex;\nIf I could, I might wring their wee necks.\nDo they know me?  Not well,\nBut they ask, \"a/s/l?\"\n(My location, my age, and my sex!)", "id": 2385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Agnus Dei (God's Lamb, now we pray)\nQui tollis (\u2014Who takest away)\nPeccata (our sin\u2014)\nNobis (far from our kin)\nMiserere (Thy vengeance to stay).", "id": 2386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "To observe the right star in the sky,\nAim your gaze up exactly so high.\nBut describing that angle of\nElevation's a tangle of\nNumbers I cannot supply.", "id": 2387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The price of your prize, when appraised,\nAs you might have surmised, has been raised.\nSo, now you're apprised\nThat the price was revised.\nDon't look so surprised, or amazed.", "id": 2388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "If you're after a gift that's refined,\nShowing insight and presence of mind,\nAsk around in the town\nFor an aptotic noun\nSuch as \"sheep,\" since it can't be declined.", "id": 2390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "November the second's the day\nCertain Christians will gather and pray\nFor the faithful departed\nWhose souls have all started\nTo wend on their heavenly way.", "id": 2391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An artiodactyl's a pig\nOr a camel; some little or big\nEven-toed kind of beast\u2014\nSays my uncle, at least.\n(\"It's an ungulate, sonny, you dig?\")", "id": 2392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Antihuman? How could you\u2014you beast!\nPlease consider our good points, at least.\nWe're industrious, smart,\nAnd we've made some nice art\u2014\nYou would miss us if we were deceased.", "id": 2393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "Too much sediment causes the beds\nOf streams to aggrade as it spreads.\nThis may spoil the wishes\nOf some of the fishes\nIf streams cannot cover their heads.", "id": 2394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "On rainy and bleak afternoons\nI draw animated cartoons.\nBut unlike films renowned,\nMine don't have any sound,\nSo I write all the words in balloons.", "id": 2395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His reportage demands to be fixed,\nHis overblown adjectives nixed.\nHe describes women's hats\nAs ambrosial, and that's\nMade of orange and coconut, mixed.", "id": 2396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ambassage: here is a case\nOf an obsolete noun we can trace\nTo mean embassy, so\nFor an ambassage \u2014 go\nTo Illyria, Carthage, or Thrace.", "id": 2397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Lying west of Alaska are isles\nThat stretch outward for hundreds of miles.\nAmchitka, the one\nWhere the A-tests were done,\nWas polluted by underground trials.", "id": 2398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A room full of aromaticity\nMay detract from perceived domesticity.\n  Maybe friends feel entombed\n  When your room's too perfumed,\nAnd perhaps they will fear eccentricity.", "id": 2399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "They crossed the North Sea and laid claim\nTo the land that would then bear their name.\nThese invaders Germanic\nCaused discord and panic:\nThe Angles of olde England fame.", "id": 2400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I agonized over my choice.\nIf it's paper, recyclers rejoice.\nBut what about plastic?\nThe clerk thought me spastic.\nI couldn't put thoughts to my voice.", "id": 2401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Ahithophel, David's advisor,\nMade a move that sure could've been wiser.\nWith Absalom's lot\nHe rebelled, but was not\nWell respected. His end? No surpriser.", "id": 2402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I've now archived my comic books, thus\nJust to read one's a bit of a muss.\nThey're stored in a box\nThat's secured with four locks.\nI'm not sure if it's worth all the fuss.", "id": 2403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "When a word takes a turn that's aphetic\nIt loses a letter (phonetic).\nAlone becomes lone,\nBut don't try on your own.\nAphetic to phetic's pathetic.", "id": 2404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Said the con, \"Let us play acey-deucey,\"\nTo the sweet naive waif known as Lucy.\nThe dice were not right\nFor 1-2s were a sight\nMore than normal. 'Twas all loosey-goosey.", "id": 2405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "From the ruins of Jericho's fall,\nGreedy Achan stole goods in a thrall.\nHe hid in his tent,\nBut then Joshua sent\nMen to find him; they stoned him. That's all.", "id": 2406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Ambisinistrous, loosely defined,\nMeans your hands just refuse to pay mind.\nYou are clumsy at best,\nAnd your makeup is messed;\nEVEn typingt putts yuo Ina bnid.", "id": 2407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Your  behavior is quite apathetic!\nThough you've said you were peripatetic,\nYou just sit like a lump,\nYou don't run, you don't jump...\nAre you clinically stuck\u2014akinetic?", "id": 2408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Acaudate describes the manx breed\n'Cause they're lacking a tail, yes indeed.\nPlease note that this lack\nDoes not set them back.\nAs a house cat, they surely succeed.", "id": 2409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "I'm older and life's more assuring;\nReal confidence comes with maturing.\nNeuroses are over,\nI'm sitting in clover.\nI'm not merely old, I'm enduring!", "id": 2410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The inspector's charisma is cresting,\nHis men are agreed in attesting.\nHe brooks no dissension;\nCommands their attention.\nThis officer sure is arresting.", "id": 2411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Jack astringently flavored the tea\nWith a lemon or two, maybe three.\nThough I sweetened that sucker,\nIt still made me pucker.\nJack's lemons were too much for me.", "id": 2412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though afraid means so scared you can't function,\nIt also refers to compunction.\nNo terror's conveyed\nWhen I say, \"I'm afraid\nThat I should've turned left at that junction.\"", "id": 2413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An amorous fellow from Fife\nParked up on a hill with his wife \u2014\nA choice that proved final.\nOn a slope anticlinal,\nYour parking brake might save your life!", "id": 2414, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "\"It's a hit!\" thus proclaimed the acclaimer,\nThough the other reviewers were tamer.\nThe movie itself\nShould have stayed on the shelf.\nI don't think I've seen films any lamer.", "id": 2415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I stare; she awakes from her nappin'.\nI'm caught! Now my face she's a-slappin'.\nI wish we could be\nAmatorially\nInvolved, but it ain't gonna happen.", "id": 2416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "There's a truly remarkable thesis\nOn the theme of monastic ascesis,\nWhich is just six words long:\n\"If you like it, it's wrong\"\u2014\nA short but profound exegesis.", "id": 2417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My timing's off, writing this verse\nOn asynchronism, ain't it a curse?\nThree USs in a row;\nThe word's meaning is: no\nCorrespondence in timing \u2014 I guess it could be worse.", "id": 2418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An arguer's somebody you\nMight debate, who disputes what is true,\nOr brings suit in a court\nAnd alleges a tort,\nOr the guy whose first baseman is Who.", "id": 2419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You're confused on the meaning of is?\nBill, that gives a bad name to the biz!\nDefinitions but few\nAppertain thereunto\u2014\nBut your lie wasn't lethal, like his.", "id": 2420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In the Forties, it got its real start;\nIts importance? That's clear off the chart.\nNonrepresentational,\nIts forms just sensational,\nThat's abstract expressionist art.", "id": 2421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "With asphyxia, someone turns blue\nFrom low oxygen, high CO2.\nChoking, drowning, and gas\nCan each bring it to pass.\nI don't care for it. How about you?", "id": 2422, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "In Rome in Augustus's day,\nPlaying ball in the house was okay.\nSince its inner d\u00e9cor\nHad no roof\u2014just a floor,\nIn these atriums children could play.", "id": 2423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There is nothing amiss in a nude\nWhen her form's art historically viewed\nIn a Klimt or Picasso,\nBut in clubs in El Paso\nThere's a form of a miss we'd exclude.", "id": 2424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I'm anxious, I'm nervous and tense,\nAnd wondering why I'm so dense.\nSee, I totalled Dad's truck\nWhen I followed a duck,\nAnd the stupid thing flew through a fence.", "id": 2425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The summer applies to July,\nAnd sweet sorrow applies to good-bye,\nBut I wonder if you\nKnow a sentence or two\nI could use that applies to apply?", "id": 2426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Today's anthropologist traces\n\"Indigenous\" customs and places.\nBefore, agriology\n(Sans an apology)\nStudied \"uncivilized\" races.", "id": 2427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "An antacid will serve to erase\nThe effects of an acid, each trace.\nWhen the stomach complains\nIt can lighten the pains.\n(To make jokes on this theme would be base.)", "id": 2428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An armiger got to bear arms\nFor display or infliction of harms;\nE.g., standard or sword.\nIf he couldn't afford\nEither one, the estate had few charms.", "id": 2429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When topology's math seems to fight us\nAnd it twists and it writhes just to spite us\n'Til our brains are inflamed,\nThe affliction is named\nVery aptly: analysis situs.", "id": 2430, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We'll give some points for art and for brains,\nBut your industry's causin' us pains.\nWhole species you're doomin'\nAnd so, antihuman\nOur standing most firmly remains.", "id": 2431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An animal model's expedient\nFor testing an untried ingredient;\nBut how would you live\nWith the pain you might give\nTo a creature that's kind and obedient?", "id": 2432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "'Round a transformer's core you will find\nThat both input and output wires wind.\nNow an autotransformer\nIs not like the former\nFor some of those wires are combined.", "id": 2433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Keeling", "limerick": "I never have thrown in the towel,\nAnd never will:  that's my avowal.\n   I wash it by hand\n   In a colander and\nPress it dry with a plasterer's trowel.", "id": 2434, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Austerity took wealthy Morehouse\nThrough ascetic excess to the poorhouse,\nBut his last, greatest trial\nWas to give up denial:\nHe's a pianist now at a whorehouse.", "id": 2435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Academic Health Center's for me!\nThe treatment is usually free!\n  The new would-be doctors\n  Are guided by proctors.\n(For short, it is called AHC.)", "id": 2436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "My affair with the clerk was so sordid,\nThe worst that was ever recorded.\nWhen reck'ning the cost,\nReputation I've lost,\nThe whole thing could not be afforded.", "id": 2437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A balloon rubbed against a toupee\nAnd then pushed to the ceiling will stay.\nWith electrons all veering,\nIt keeps on adhering\n'Til static charge passes away.", "id": 2438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A film star, because of his wealth,\nLives affluently, stays in good health.\n   Except for the houses\n   He gives to ex-spouses\nAnd treasures he loses to stealth.", "id": 2439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "When bones in one's bod suffer fracture\nWhat's needed is action (or acture).\n  Go summon a doc,\n  Treat the patient for shock,\nAnd then start up the cast manufacture.", "id": 2440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Straight into the night she did ride,\nOn Arabian steed, full astride!\n   To bring back her man\n   Was her straightforward plan.\nThe dishes, now washed, would be dried!", "id": 2441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "There's many a gent with affinity\nTo conquer a maiden's virginity.\n  To be thus engaged\n  Means no wedding is staged\n(Save when coupling turns into a trinity).", "id": 2442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A head that's auriculate, dear,\nHas, externally, signs of an ear.\n   For a heart, here's the gist:\n   Ear-like pouches exist\nAt each atrium's rear. Is that clear?", "id": 2443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "An augmentative agent is beer,\nWhich increases your joy and your cheer.\n  But the down side is this:\n  That your increase in bliss\nWill be matched by an increase in sphere.", "id": 2444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Did you know there are two things named aureus?\nStaphylococcus, the germ. Quite notorious.\nAnd a gold coin from Rome\n(If you have one at home,\nYou are probably feeling, like, glorious).", "id": 2445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Shh!  Now I know how we can get\nThat avocet home as our pet:\nAs we're nearing the shore,\nYou brandish your oar,\nAnd I'll capture the bird with my net.", "id": 2446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Scandinavia's home for the auk,\nWhich likes much more to dive than to walk.\nWhen you ponder their fate\nAnd how seldom they mate,\nIt's surprising how little they squawk.", "id": 2447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "The alchemist shouted, \"My friend!\nBring a torch!  We must forthwith accend\nThis alchemical brew,\nThough just what it will do,\nWhen ignited, the signs don't portend.\"", "id": 2448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "\"Arr!  How ye admeasure our treasure,\"\nThe pirate snarled, \"ain't a great pleasure.\nNow, watch:  I'll combine\nYer vast portion with mine,\nThen I'll blow the whole lot at me leisure!\"", "id": 2449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "She resembled an A-frame in stature,\nAnd scared him, for he had to catch her.\nShe went down the slide,\nBut her girth slowed her ride,\nAnd the metal chute couldn't dispatch her.", "id": 2450, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "The House can appropriate money.\nBill to bills \u2014 don't you think it quite funny\nThat congressional pains\nFor fiduciary gains\nKeep the lobbyists feeling so sunny?", "id": 2451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "There's a continent unlike the rest;\nOnly scientists think it the best.\nWhy on earth have they chosen\nA landmass so frozen?\nThe ice is precise, they'll attest.", "id": 2452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "The word aurum from Latin means \"gold\",\nA soft metal we yearn to behold.\nLong its beckoning gleam\nHas made many men seem\nMuch like miserly Midas of old.", "id": 2453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "When the dog days of August are done,\nThe South's been well scorched by the sun.\nThe eighth month of the year\nIs a time when we fear\nThat it's too hot for work or for fun.", "id": 2454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jo", "limerick": "My afghans have fuzz but no fur.\nI knit them from wool, that's for sure.\nThey wrap 'round my knees,\nAnd they keep out the breeze.\nWhen you're cold, they're a warm, cozy cure.", "id": 2455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "New Year's Eve I don't mix with society,\nBut it's not that I fear insobriety.\nIt's because when the throng\nSings that auld Scottish song,\nI get this profound auld lanxiety.", "id": 2456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Real essential (you bet!), an agenda\nLists the things that you gotta attend ta.\nYou can check one by one\nTo make sure they get done\u2014\nOr ignore 'em and go on a benda.", "id": 2457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When masculine joins femininity\n(Mainly coupled, but sometimes a trinity),\nAnd when chemicals bind,\nWhat's the word you will find?\nThe answer, of course, is affinity.", "id": 2459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Defining the phrase angle bracket?\nHere follows one way to attack it:\nIt formerly meant\nSomething metal and bent.\nNow it's used in the web design racket.", "id": 2460, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "What's the weather like, there in the strait?\nWell, I asked the aerographer's mate.\nSeems a storm's blowing through,\nSo there's nothing to do\nBut berate the sad state of our fate.", "id": 2461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The Moorish Alhambra is brill\u2014\nIn Granada it's top of the bill.\nJust be sure of inflections\nWhen asking directions:\nThe carpet shop's less of a thrill.", "id": 2462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Mother Nature perfected her powers\nBy reshaping nasturtiums for hours.\nShe was awfully dismayed\nWhen a maladroit maid\nQuite abhorrently vacuumed her flowers.", "id": 2463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "She cast about throw rugs frenetically,\nPlaced tchotchkes on shelves energetically,\n'Til I shouted \"Enough!\nThis is way too much stuff!\nWould you decorate, please, more ascetically?\"", "id": 2464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "When a guy does his best to apply\nOne thing to another he'll try\nTo affix, or attach,\nAdhere to, or patch\nWith a tool that you'll find left nearby.", "id": 2465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "In founding our modern-day Turkey,\nK. Atat\u00fcrk made the Turks perky.\nFrom an Ottoman land,\nHe quite carefully planned\nA more westernized state not as quirky.", "id": 2466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Abkhazia, the breakaway region,\nIs Georgian, not Dutch or Norwegian.\nAutonomy lacking\nOnce led to attacking\nThat brought in a UN peace legion.", "id": 2467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Have you found when you're visiting nations,\nLike those of Croatians or Haitians,\nYou change your cash, but\nThe exchange takes a cut?\nIt's an agio for their quotations.", "id": 2468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I'm autodidactic (self-taught),\nWell-grounded in all schools of thought.\nI've mastered the Bard,\nAnd the Marquis de Sade \u2014\nBut I'll never confess if I'm caught.", "id": 2469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Methinks this cannot really be.\nYet no rime for an article wee!\nAn identifies stuff,\nBut not cuff, puff, or bluff.\nIt precedes vowel sounds, you will see.", "id": 2470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Young Froggie went courting one day\nWith a pure white alisma bouquet.\nHe said, \"Marry me, do.\"\nShe replied, \"Marry you?\nThat's pondweed, you cheapskate! No way!\"", "id": 2471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Aloof types are never the sweetest.\nIt's clear that avoiding them's meetest,\nSo give them the snub,\nAnd apply for my club:\nWe're unbendingly antielitist.", "id": 2472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "What honor it is to illuminate\nThe pivotal role of albuminate.\nIt's of the same ilk\nAs casein in milk:\nTwo proteins upon which to ruminate.", "id": 2473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "An amiable fellow was Brian;\nHe grinned without even half tryin'.\nHe laughed through the rain,\nBut when hit by a train,\nHis grin couldn't keep him from dyin'!", "id": 2474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Antiquarianism's no more\nThan a fondness for eras before,\nWhich expresses itself\nThrough the books on your shelf\nAnd the knickknacks you sell in your store.", "id": 2475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The art of aromatization\nIs frequently fraught with frustration.\nAll too often, a scent\nWon't come out as you meant,\nAnd will challenge your lab's ventilation.", "id": 2476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rusty", "limerick": "To save paper I like to abbr.\nTree depletion, this helps to all.\nAnd to save fossil fuel\nWhen I drive, as a rule,\nIn a straight line I go and don't d.", "id": 2477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Ahinoam was bride to King Saul,\nBearing some of his sons, but not all.\nThe others were carried\nBy girls he'd not married,\nWho slept in a room down the hall.", "id": 2478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "With the ladies, my lack of success\nIs attributable to distress:\n Guess my face causes shock.\n Now I'm down on my Loch;\nAm I never to find Mrs. Ness?", "id": 2479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The worms bore St. George much antagonism\nFor his tireless \"Let's slay the dragon\"-ism.\nThey never could win\n'Less he'd drunk loads of gin\n(In a bad case of fall-off-the-wagonism).", "id": 2480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "'Twould ammoniate all this domain\nWith a stench, should you choose to refrain\nFrom completing the task\nThat I plaintively ask...\nChange the baby \u2014 the need is quite plain!", "id": 2481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Alpha acids give lagers their chops;\nThey let pilsners pull out all the stops.\nTake a moment and think\nOf your favorite drink...\nThey're the bittering agent in hops.", "id": 2482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "We bid a farewell to Ms. Chisholm,\nWhose politics caused quite a schism.\nWhat the Left saw as Right,\nTo the Right gave a fright\nWorse than anarchosyndicalism.", "id": 2483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "These are anableps (tropical fish).\nCall them four-eyes, if that is your wish.\nThey can see (this I love)\nBoth below and above\n(That's concurrently) while the fish swish.", "id": 2484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a man surnamed Mitty,\nWho ambled all over the city.\nHe daydreamed each day,\nWand'ring every which way.\nThurber's prose made his fantasies witty.", "id": 2485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My astral lamp's powered by oil\nThat never quite comes to a boil.\nNo shadow's in sight\nIn its circle of light.\nI need a fifth line.  Where's Chris Doyle?", "id": 2486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am, as they say, all agasp.\nI ruined my Maidenform's clasp.\nNow going cold turkey,\nJust one side is perky.\nThe other is out of my grasp.", "id": 2487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm considered an over-achiever.\nI'm also dubbed \"one true believer.\"\nI get so much praise\nThat I'm left in a daze.\nThey must think I'm a golden retriever.", "id": 2488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I find that I'm often abstaining,\nWhich means that by choice I'm refraining.\nIf I choose not to vote\nWhat that does is denote\nThat all candidates I am disdaining.", "id": 2489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We abruptly came up with this rhyme.\nIt didn't take very much time.\nIts virtue is speed;\nIt was sudden, indeed.\n(All it needs now is meaning sublime.)", "id": 2490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "This rhyme is by way of affirming\nThat my vet has completed my worming.\nNo hookworm for me,\nAnd of tapeworm I'm free.\nIt's good to have had reconfirming.", "id": 2491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An aerie's a nest for an eagle,\nBuilt as high as the zoning deems legal.\nFrom there every day\nHe watches for prey.\nLet us hope that he won't grab a beagle!", "id": 2493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "\"What we need is a boycott campaign:\nAn abolishment! Let's make it plain\nThat our brains are all cluttered,\"\nThe poets all muttered.\n\"OEDILF! It has made us insane.\"", "id": 2494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anthropology studies mankind\n(And womankind, too, you will find) \u2014\nHow all of us live,\nWhat knowledge we give,\nAnd the clues that we all leave behind.", "id": 2495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Some things I propose to abolish:\nFirst, telephones, furniture polish;\nThen dishes to wash\nAnd all forms of squash.\nThose last two I'd like to demolish.", "id": 2496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "My darling, your hair looks like rust.\nIt's the shade of bacterial crust,\nOr New Mexican dirt,\nOr the stain in my shirt.\nCall it auburn? All right, if I must.", "id": 2497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "If you alphabetize, it's a duty\nFor frutti to come before tutti.\nList words, if you please,\nBy their A's, B's, then C's.\nAt least age will still come before beauty.", "id": 2498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "On the autobahn speeding toward Bonn,\nMy Volkswagen carries me on.\nI go faster and faster,\nForeseeing disaster!\nBut then I wake up, and it's gone.", "id": 2499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Time to yawn and then open your eyes!\nTime to leap out of bed, to arise!\nYou must earnestly strive\nTo look sharp and alive\nLest The New York Times note your demise.", "id": 2500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The acrobat flies through the air\nTo land on a wire-borne chair.\nThen he grabs a trapeze,\nFeigning absolute ease.\nIf you're sitting below, please beware.", "id": 2501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I don't use an alias much\n'Cause I'm not very often in Dutch,\nBut I've nicknames galore\nBecause people adore\nSmall dogs who are soft to the touch.", "id": 2502, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An acquisitive woman named Carrie\nThought wealth would accrue should she marry.\nShe's reached Number 4.\nWhat happened before?\nShe killed off her Tom, Dick, and Harry.", "id": 2503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I think that I never shall see\nA limerick nice as a tree.\nIf one comes my way,\nIt will mark Arbor Day,\nNoted only by fools such as me.", "id": 2504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "So noble of bearing and regal\nIs the famous American eagle.\nThis national treasure\nBrings pride beyond measure\u2014\nSo says an American beagle.", "id": 2505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "If I foolishly rose from my desk\nAnd attempted a quick arabesque,\nI would be a disgrace,\nFalling flat on my face,\nEvery single maneuver grotesque.", "id": 2506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "A born and bred ninny named Ed\nWas fond of fast horses, it's said.\nHe rode with no saddle,\nFell off and was addle-\npated from banging his head.", "id": 2507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It's not cold in Alaska, not storming.\nIt's to world climate patterns conforming.\nThe permafrost's melting,\nAnd temps are sunbelting,\nAs we all watch our doom\u2014global warming.", "id": 2508, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "You may think that my life is prosaic,\nBut I live in a mansion archaic.\nWith art by Chagall\nI've my own Taj Mahal,\nFilled with archways and floors of mosaic.", "id": 2509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An arachnid now lives in my john.\nI don't want to make her move on.\nHer ways when she's spinning\nAre charming and winning \u2014\nShe's weaving her spider salon.", "id": 2510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Ambrosia!  Oh, don't let us quibble.\nThe thought of it just makes me dribble.\nIt's food for the gods\n(And the gods give their nods).\nI'd like to have some with my kibble.", "id": 2511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An arc is a part of a curve.\nIt thus can be seen to subserve.\nCurves lacking an arc\nWould be missing the mark,\nHeld together with duct tape and nerve.", "id": 2512, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a land lost in myth.\nI lived there with kindred and kith.\n'Twas long, long ago,\nWhen apples, you know,\nFirst were named for my dear Granny Smith.", "id": 2513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An agreeable lady from Venice\n(No one thought that she might be a menace)\nProved a whiz on the court\nWhere she'd ably cavort,\nBecoming a menace at tennis.", "id": 2514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An amorous waiter from Rome\nHad no patience to wait in his home.\nHe wanted love now,\nHe didn't care how \u2014\nHe'd even make love to a gnome.", "id": 2515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An amateur spendthrift from Philly\nSpent money on things that were silly.\nHe thought he'd turn pro,\nBut the dues were too low,\nAnd professional spendthrifts too chilly.", "id": 2516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I can't see myself quickly affording\nA plasma TV, but according\nTo all that I've read\nI should buy me instead\nA digital tool for recording.", "id": 2517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "So aces are high, deuces low.\nAll the face cards have value, I know.\nStill, when I'm playing Poker\nThey call me the joker,\nAnd in Bridge I'm the dummy.  Low blow!", "id": 2518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Say, what could be herein amiss?\nI offered to give you a kiss.\nPrincely form you decline?\nWell, you're no love of mine.\nA frog I will gladly dismiss.", "id": 2519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm small, so I tend to appease\nThose dogs where I'm tall as their knees.\nMy tail always wags,\nI don't trot out my brags,\nAnd I've got the good sense not to tease.", "id": 2520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "A most useful word is append.\nIt means \"to add on at the end.\"\nWhen e-mailing friends,\nAs each message ends,\nI append my dot-sig, then click \"Send.\"", "id": 2521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "\"To amplify\" means \"to make louder.\"\nThat's not all that it means, thus I'm prouder\nTo tell you so plain\nThat it means \"to explain.\"\nTomorrow it may mean \"clam chowder.\"", "id": 2522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Aromatherapy's pretty much bunk,\nUsed by people who can't smell a skunk.\nIf with scent-sense like mine\nOdors can't fix my spine,\nI think lavender's ready to flunk.", "id": 2523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "During most of the day, I'm asleep,\nBut at night I refuse to count sheep.\nI keep humans awake\nTill their heads start to ache,\nAnd they yell at me, \"Meggie, go [bleep].\"", "id": 2524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've worked very hard to belong.\nI've thought about that \u2014 it's not wrong.\nIf I keep writing verse,\nAnd it doesn't get worse,\nYou'll assimilate me before long.", "id": 2525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Arrowroot thickens your stew,\nAnd your gravy becomes a rich brew.\nYou needn't be grumpy \u2014\nYour food won't turn lumpy.\nThis starch will do wonders with goo.", "id": 2526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm pleasingly plump and still single.\nWith the opposite sex, I can mingle.\nIf I think of a mate\nThen I contemplate fate,\nWith my cute, chubby body atingle.", "id": 2527, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I witnessed the loud acclamation\nThat followed a bristling oration.\n'Twas a strident attack\nBy an old party hack.\nThe whole thing was a dumb affectation.", "id": 2528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'll pack up a picnic, and so on.\nI'll call all my friends, and we'll go on\nA jaunt to have lunch\nAt a site picked by hunch,\nWith a lake that we'll all get to row on.", "id": 2529, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "On Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement,\nI look for a dose of condone-ment.\nThough fasting's the rule,\nThis dog is no fool\u2014\nI always request a postponement.", "id": 2530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Boy beagles I'd likely attract\nIf my internal self were intact.\nDo you know the word spay?\nIt's heinous, I say\u2014\nAnd I don't think I overreact.", "id": 2531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In no way can I be more emphatic\u2014\nI don't want to sleep in the attic!\nUp there there are rats,\nPerhaps even bats,\nAnd the dust there will make me asthmatic.", "id": 2532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The oceans are rising, I hear.\nThe atolls will soon disappear.\nThese low-lying islands,\nSo lacking in highlands,\nWill soon be submerged, so I fear.", "id": 2533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My hair just hangs loosely, adangle.\nIt's more than just likely to tangle.\nI brush and I comb,\nI use lotions and foam\u2014\nBut it's something I'd happily mangle.", "id": 2534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm the author of numerous rhymes,\nAnd I ponder them numerous times.\nDoes my anapest sing?\nDo my puns laughter bring?\nOr are verses my numerous crimes?", "id": 2535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Yes, autonomy's good if you're grown,\nIndependent and out on your own.\nTo stand tall on your feet\nSo the world you can meet\nMeans that far from the coop you have flown.", "id": 2536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Apropos is a nice, useful word.\nI'm surprised it's not more often heard.\nIt's quite a bit shorter\n(In fact, by a quarter)\nThan appropriate, often preferred.", "id": 2537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "What can you do for a lark?\nCamp out in Yosemite Park!\nYou'll toss away cares\nWhen you sleep among bears\nAnd watch chipmunks dart out before dark.", "id": 2538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a trustworthy African banker.\nMy loot fills the hold of a tanker.\nLet me at your account,\nAnd my holdings will mount\u2014\nTo scam you I fervently hanker.", "id": 2539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm sure that your rhymes I'm affecting\nWhen your limericks I am inspecting.\nMine tend to be stilted,\nPerhaps a bit wilted,\nBut yours I am ably correcting.", "id": 2540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It's Christmas, and no one's astir.\nThe cat is too sleepy to purr.\nThe kids, it would seem,\nOf their presents still dream\u2014\nAnd of lights on the tall Douglas fir.", "id": 2541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and speedysnail", "limerick": "I recollect lives in odd pieces,\nA miracle called anamnesis.\nThe reason is plain \u2014\nMy name's Shirley MacLaine.\nStick that in your doctoral thesis.", "id": 2542, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and mike scholtes", "limerick": "Light, fluffy and pale\u2014angel cake!\nI want some so badly I ache.\nI'd bake some right now,\nBut the hens had a cow\nWhen I asked for twelve eggs I could break.", "id": 2543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My limerick style is atrocious,\nBut my fight for my work is ferocious.\nThe worse my rhymes get\nThe more I will fret.\nThat's a symptom of being precocious.", "id": 2544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My body's off-balance, atilt;\nGonna fall from the deck and be kilt.\nI have one final plea\u2014\nHold on tight; steady me,\nOr you're gonna be tortured by guilt.", "id": 2545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Well, they label me accident-prone,\nAnd they tell me between each low moan\nThat to exercise care\nI should always beware\nOf those wolfhounds who covet my bone.", "id": 2546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Do you think that I've lost my allure?\nI've tried in my heart to be pure.\nI don't disregard sex\nThough it tends to perplex,\nBut my sex appeal\u2014that will endure!", "id": 2547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm truly a longtime admirer\nOf historian William L. Shirer.\nThe Reich rose and fell\nAs the facts he did tell,\nIn prose to which I'm an aspirer.", "id": 2548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'd kill for a glass of dark ale.\nI don't want a light beer, weak and pale.\nDos Equis I'd pick\n(It has adequate kick),\nBut for Weinhard's red lager I'd wail.", "id": 2549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "A lim'rick I find myself adding\nWhen I'm far from that crowd yclept \"madding.\"\nThere's time to immerse\nMyself in new verse,\nWith plenty of meat\u2014and less padding.", "id": 2550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Let's consider the facts, arguendo.\nThese charges are just innuendo.\nThis poor detainee\nShould surely go free.\n(I'm reaching a fervent crescendo.)", "id": 2551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I went to the penny arcade,\nAnd I found many games to be played\u2014\nBut penny-game time\nGave way to the dime,\nWith never a sponsor who paid!", "id": 2552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "A musical man from afar\nExcelled at acoustic guitar.\nHe felt speakers a sin\nThat produced only din,\nAnd amps he thought simply bizarre.", "id": 2553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An ambitious young fellow from Wales\nLooked dashing in white tie and tails.\nAlas, acquisition\nStopped far from ambition\u2014\nHis clothes came from second-hand sales.", "id": 2554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Lost in a haze of oration,\nI indulged in some wild contemplation.\nWould I still be in court,\nStill discussing this tort,\nIf I'd chosen, instead, arbitration?", "id": 2555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I speak in a language arcane.\nI've managed to learn to refrain\nFrom words comprehensible\nAnd thoughts somewhat sensible\nLest others decide that I'm sane.", "id": 2556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An alloy of copper and tin\nIs bronze, an amalgam akin\nTo gold in its shine,\nThough it's not from a mine \u2014\nIt's enriched by the copper within.", "id": 2557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My spine is a tad out of plumb.\nAn adjustment is needed, by gum.\nMy usual tactic\nIs to seek chiropractic,\nBut I howl under pressure of thumb.", "id": 2558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Since airfares get higher and higher,\nI'm unlikely to get my desire.\nFirst Class passage denied,\nWith the baggage I ride.\nI'll never be called \"Frequent Flyer.\"", "id": 2559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "If I were to wax analytical\nOn matters considered political,\nMy rhymes, always neat,\nWould become obsolete,\nThough they'd never cease being quite critical.", "id": 2560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Some beagles excel at agility.\nThey run, leap, and climb with ability.\nThrough weave poles they dart.\nShould I take that to heart?\n'Twould only impair my gentility.", "id": 2561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To amortize (quickly) a loan,\nYour property fully to own,\nMake payments when due,\nAnd send extra bucks, too.\nYour credit will never be blown.", "id": 2562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I don't dare to say this aloud,\nAnd not over here in a crowd \u2014\nBut lim'ricks are fun,\nAnd I've only begun\n(Though I'm still just a tiny bit cowed).", "id": 2563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Your aloofness is puzzling, my friend.\nJust what did I do to offend?\nAre you now being haughty\nBecause I've been naughty?\nWe're both losing out in the end.", "id": 2564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "We should all try to love one another.\nThose were the words of my mother.\nBut as of today,\nWe're still a long way\nFrom regarding each man as a brother.", "id": 2565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Please let me extend my apology\nFor disputing your steadfast theology.\nTo my level molecular,\nI'm thoroughly secular.\nMy belief is in geochronology.", "id": 2566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Most dogs can be rather annoying\u2014\nQuite noisy, obtrusive, and cloying.\nBut my temperament's mild\n(I'm Mom's angel child),\nAlthough shoes I'm still fond of destroying.", "id": 2567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My quilt has a fine appliqu\u00e9,\nSewn in place on a bright autumn day.\nIn colors like flame,\nIt spells out my name:\nMEG BEAGLE!  I just want to bay!", "id": 2568, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I wanted to set things aright.\nI tried to with all of my might.\nI worked at it long,\nBut things are still wrong.\nI guess I'm just not very bright.", "id": 2569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I spotted the almond-eyed girl,\nA young Asian beauty, a pearl.\nI let her go by\nWith a glance and a sigh,\nHer skirt tossed by wind, in a swirl.", "id": 2571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Who wrote this astounding new work?\nIn what glorious dell did he lurk?\nThe meter, the rhyme \u2014\nHow divinely sublime!\nNo, he can't be the grocery clerk!", "id": 2572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Here is the question I'm asking \u2014\nWhen I set up to go multi-tasking,\nDo I need to take courses\nOr boost my resources\nTo help me at ignorance-masking?", "id": 2573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Years ago, as a student in class,\nI did more than just sit on my ass.\nI would scrunch down and knit\nArgyle socks that would fit\nAny boy I'd decide to harass.", "id": 2574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Remember, please\u2014always accessorize.\nA turban will nearly caress your eyes.\nA well-chosen belt\nWill make you look svelte,\nAnd that way will speedy success arise.", "id": 2575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "As acorns grow up into oaks,\nAs wee mates grow up into blokes,\nOur output evolves,\nBad meter resolves\u2014\nBut some rhymes still wind up bad jokes.", "id": 2576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm tossed between sweatin' and chillin'.\nMy doctor prescribed ampicillin.\nIs an \"antibiotic\"\nSomething rare and exotic?\nTo take it, I stand more than willin'.", "id": 2577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Arboretums are surely to please.\nThey're gardens devoted to trees.\nYou'll be glad that you stayed\nIn a sun-dappled glade \u2014\nUnless you're allergic and sneeze.", "id": 2578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "We're keeping things brief at our meeting.\nThe agenda is short\u2014time is fleeting.\nOur chair will be mute,\nAnd his hurry acute.\nTo urge speed there'll be limited seating.", "id": 2579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My bright sparkling eyes are aglimmer.\nMy teeth are so white that they shimmer.\nMy cheeks are like flame,\nBut here's the darn shame\u2014\nWith age, all of these will grow dimmer.", "id": 2580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've come to this court to allege\nThat my neighbor, in saying the Pledge\nOf Allegiance, the clod,\nLeaves out \"under God,\"\nWhich leaves me quite over the edge.", "id": 2581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Annual means once a year\u2014\nAnd a plant that will soon disappear\u2014\nAnd a yearbook that's done\nWhen December has run\u2014\nI hope that its meanings are clear.", "id": 2582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I assassinate \u2014 that's my vocation.\nMy targets might lack some elation.\nMy complete fascination\nWith my aberration\nNeeds deep and profound contemplation.", "id": 2583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I anticipate, often with dread,\nArmageddon and being quite dead.\nBut it should be dramatic\nTo watch from the attic.\nPerhaps I'll be safe in my bed.", "id": 2584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An aquarium's my fervent wish.\nWith a fish in my paws, I'd go squish!\nWith a tank full of guppies,\nPerfect playthings for puppies,\nI could stay at home and catch a fish.", "id": 2585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The annals of 2004\nShow a startup that's hard to ignore \u2014\nIt defines English words\nVia lim'ricks in herds\nWhile fostering esprit de corps.", "id": 2586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The Arthurian legend has knights,\nA magic sword, rivals, and fights.\nBut my flag's unfurlin'\nFor marvelous Merlin.\nCan you picture him, bearded, in tights?", "id": 2587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Do you think that my costume's revealing?\nMost other dogs find it appealing.\nI go everywhere\nIn my natural hair,\nWell-fitting and coyly concealing.", "id": 2588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anglomania's part of my life.\nThings Brit are abundantly rife.\nThe Union Jack flies;\nI eat chips, never fries\u2014\nAnd I've got me a fine British wife!", "id": 2589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In college I studied agronomy.\nI'd hoped to improve our economy.\nSoils and crops I have known,\nAnd through what I have grown\nI've discovered the joys of gastronomy.", "id": 2590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have an assortment of toys\nThat each subsequent puppy destroys.\nMy duck that could quack\nNow only says \"ack,\"\nAnd my girl doll has hair like the boys.", "id": 2592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Do let me your feelings assuage.\nYou will earn a good living wage.\nYou'll work hard all your life\nFor your kids and your wife,\nThen starve when you get to old age.", "id": 2593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "A fastidious girl, I attempt\nTo remain in the house if unkempt,\nBut what if a flood\nHas me covered with mud?\nThere I am, out in public\u2014verklempt!", "id": 2594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm Aries, the studliest ram!\nI'm a Zodiac sign\u2014that's no sham.\nBut that's still far from all,\nAnd I'm now standing tall\u2014\n\"A sire\" is my anagram, ma'am.", "id": 2595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "When the royals pass, keep them unseen.\nJust avert your rude gaze from the queen!\nYou are common and coarse,\nAnd you'll feel much remorse\nIf you dare by your stare to demean.", "id": 2596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My behavior is often audacious.\nMy appetite's truly voracious.\nBut I don't rant and swear,\nAnd I'm friendly and fair,\nSo you might want to dub me as gracious.", "id": 2597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Don't claim to admire my audacity\nWhen I tell you with utmost veracity\nBravado's a guise.\nAin't that a surprise?\nI'm a person of perfect opacity.", "id": 2598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Amusement is luring me here.\nA well-done little verse I revere.\nWriting lim'ricks is fun.\nWhen these short tales are spun,\nI am happy and filled with good cheer.", "id": 2599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "On advice from my personal trainer,\nI've become a near-starving abstainer.\nI must build six-pack abs\nSo I munch dribs and drabs,\nBut I'm ready to eat his retainer.", "id": 2600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I try to assist and advise.\nPeople find me quite helpful and wise.\nI offer the knowledge\nI learned back in college,\nThe best man or dog can devise.", "id": 2601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My humor is said to be arch.\nMy backbone has plenty of starch.\nI'm tough without question,\nSo here's a suggestion\u2014\nLet's all have a Meg Beagle March.", "id": 2602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm really quite simple, quite artless.\nI'm guileless and never thought heartless.\nBut if I overdo\nAnd eat people's stew,\nYou'd never consider me fartless.", "id": 2603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An anthropoid ape has no tail\nTo get in his way on the trail.\nHis humanoid rear\nMakes him apish appear.\nCall him \"monkey,\" he's likely to wail.", "id": 2604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Before I was formally crowned,\nI excelled at just hanging around,\nAnd now that I'm King\nI still don't do a thing,\nBut my thoughts are considered profound.", "id": 2605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The object of my true affections\nJust loves me to bring her confections,\nBut I never can find her\nSo I need to remind her\nShe's a sweetheart, but bad at directions.", "id": 2606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "What a strange little bug is this weevil.\nIn his short life, there's never upheaval.\nOn alfalfa he grazes.\nIn sunshine he lazes.\nHe's a pest, but he's not really evil.", "id": 2607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To limerick writers, all hail!\nI greet you by wagging my tail.\nStart your limericks rhyming,\nKeep an eye on your timing,\nAnd I know The OEDILF will prevail.", "id": 2608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "From his coffin does Dracula climb.\nHe's arisen \u2014 it's blood-sucking time.\nMetamorphosis done\nTill return of the sun,\nHe's a bat about town in his prime.", "id": 2609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm an argus-eyed, vigilant ranger.\nI'm always out looking for danger.\nI carry a piece\nIn a holster of fleece,\nAnd to justice I'm hardly a stranger.", "id": 2610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I was running afoul of the law,\nStealing beef ribs on which I could gnaw.\nThey caught me red-handed,\nAnd now I am branded\nWith a T (short for \"Thief\") on each paw.", "id": 2611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "They say that I'm clumsy \u2014 all thumbs.\nWoe is me if that day ever comes!\nInstead I have toes,\nLined up in neat rows.\nI use them to calculate sums.", "id": 2612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An airheaded bimbo named Phoebe\nFell madly in love with a Soebe.\nWhen she found he was false,\nPhoebe shared a last waltz,\nThen shot him to death with a boebe.", "id": 2613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'd never run off, go astray.\nI'll stay in my own yard and play.\nI don't want to go missing\n(My Mom needs her kissing)\nSo I'll stay close to home, and I'll bay!", "id": 2614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My little boat came alongshore.\nI hopped out, perhaps to explore.\nI do love the beach\nWhene'er it's in reach,\nThough I truly love sailing still more.", "id": 2615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm really right here in the groove\nFor Chris to say, \"Yes, I approve!\nThis limerick's swell\nSo it might just as well\nTo that final list now make its move.\"", "id": 2616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I live in an almshouse these days.\nThat's a poorhouse, so don't waste your praise.\nThough I don't have a nickel\nTo buy me a pickle,\nI'm daily served prayer and buffets.", "id": 2617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Andorra's the cause of my smiles.\nIt's one hundred and eighty square miles.\nIn the Pyrenees high,\nWith France and Spain nigh,\nIt calls to me\u2014even beguiles.", "id": 2618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Aida, as Verdi composed,\nWas abducted to Egypt, deposed.\nShe became a mere slave,\nBut died noble and brave\u2014\nShe and Radames, in a tomb closed.", "id": 2619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have a young friend in Iraq,\nDeployed there to fight, to attack.\nShe joined the armed forces,\nTook requisite courses....\nI hope that she'll safely come back.", "id": 2620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The American shorthair's a cat.\nHe comes skinny, just right, or too fat.\nBut his hair can't be long\nBecause that would be wrong.\nNow what do you think about that?", "id": 2621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I have antilock brakes on my car.\nIf I skid, I won't skid very far.\nI'll be able to stop\nWithout hitting a cop\nRight in front of the very next bar.", "id": 2622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anuran?  It's only a frog,\nWith long legs and no tail, in its bog.\nIf you kiss it, you'll wince;\nIt won't change to a prince.\nIt'll just hop away in the fog.", "id": 2623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anchorpeople are not what you think,\nBut instead they live under the drink,\nClinging tight to their chains\nSo your good ship remains,\nAnd it doesn't drift far off to sink.", "id": 2624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Say, is arborize ready to please?\nIt means simply \"to branch out like trees.\"\nI don't think I've abused it\u2014\nI'd ne'er heard it nor used it;\nIt's a strange word that one seldom sees.", "id": 2625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An annulet?  That's a small ring.\nBut annulate means that a thing\nIs a doughnut-shaped round,\nOr with circles is found,\nOr, in heraldry, blessed by the king.", "id": 2626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A clumsy old hack, name of Jack,\nRan his checkered cab into a shack.\nHe imagined with dread\nNext-day papers that read,\n\"Jack's Ataxia: Taxi Attack!\"", "id": 2627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've an entryway two stories high\nWith an atrium lit by the sky.\nIt's there I raise orchids\nAnd bring up my four kids.\nThat courtyard's my place till I die.", "id": 2628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I sat through my aunt's epicedium.\nShe was aged; the service was tedium.\nShe'd been my Mom's sister,\nBut I knew if I missed her\nI could find a professional medium.", "id": 2629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I love to drop by the aquarium,\nThen visit the old planetarium,\nTo see fishes and stars,\nTo see dolphins and Mars\u2014\nToo bad there's no beagle terrarium!", "id": 2630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Oh, I love your applause and your roar.\nLeave your wreaths and bouquets at my door.\nAdulation is glorious,\nAnd I am victorious!\nAll this is for rhymes?  Please clap more!", "id": 2631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "At midnight the gnus will appear.\nThe crowds will be filled with good cheer.\nDid I see them in time\nTo finish this rhyme\nWishing all a most Happy Gnu Year?", "id": 2632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Adrift in a very small boat\nAnd thankful that I could still float,\nI yearned for more space\nSo I'd not have to face\nThree hamsters, a cow, and a goat.", "id": 2633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "On the West Coast, some wine comes from Asti,\nWhich in my estimation is nasty.\nCalifornia's is best\nIf you head further west.\nThe difference is hugely contrasty.", "id": 2634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An abacost's worn in Zaire.\nIt covers not toe and not ear.\nA collarless shirt\nAnd loose pants (not a skirt)\u2014\nA man's suit (and hot weather gear).", "id": 2635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm atemporal\u2014outside of time.\nI meander the decades to rhyme.\nIf my verses elude you\nI can only conclude you\nAre tied to Meridian Prime.", "id": 2636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "We hold all of our lim'ricists dear,\nThose from far away, those who live near\u2014\nBut with folks from Down Under\nWhose rhyme schemes don't blunder,\nEach day is Australia Day here.", "id": 2637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I played audiotapes in my car.\nMy cassette deck would take me afar\u2014\nTo Ceylon with Bizet,\nAnd to France\u2014Massenet,\nThen to Russia for death of a tsar.", "id": 2638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Yes, I still think of suave Mr. Steed,\nUmbrella at hand, quick to heed\nThe surreal Mrs. Peel\nOf cat-suited appeal\u2014\nThe Avengers was magic indeed.", "id": 2639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I tried hard not to augment my girth,\nWhich made me much the target of mirth,\nBut still the pounds came,\nAnd I achieved fame\nAs the fattest soul this side of Perth.", "id": 2640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a most avid reader, that's true.\nI have books on all subjects, don't you?\nI think reading in bed\nWith a light at my head\nIs as good as a read in the loo.", "id": 2641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm upset by the sight of an aura\n'Round the head of my maiden aunt Laura\u2014\nNot the halo itself,\nBut its small built-in shelf\nOn which angels are dancing a hora.", "id": 2642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Yes, extinct is the aurochs\u2014a pity!\nHe's not seen in the zoos of your city.\nYou sit in your sauna\nWhile we lose our fauna,\nSo maybe we need a committee.", "id": 2643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It rains quite a bit over here\nSo I own lots of all-weather gear.\nI've got pairs of galoshes\nAnd clothes that bear washes.\nI'm lost when the weather turns clear.", "id": 2644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a victim of auto-suggestion.\nA thought came; I raised not a question.\nBy taking a chance,\nI got lost in a trance\nAnd succumbed to my lack of ingestion.", "id": 2645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "When I spied him soaped up in my shower,\nI timidly chose just to cower.\nI knew I should caulk\nTo keep out this auk,\nBut stood frozen for over an hour.", "id": 2646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "How does air behave, up in the skies?\nWill my spoiler design win a prize?\nCould I model this plane?\nAll this runs through her brain\nWhen an aerodynamicist flies.", "id": 2647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To be subject to your mean aspersions\nIsn't one of my fav'rite diversions.\nCall me names if you will,\nTill you've had your cheap thrill\u2014\nThen it's my turn to list your perversions.", "id": 2648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Fourteen sales is the total we reach\nIf we're averaging seven sales each.\n But while I've sold eight scooters\n And five new computers,\nYou've only sold one lousy peach.", "id": 2649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "Arthritis made Bob lose agility;\nStiff joints gave him lessened mobility.\nBut his wife, to his joy,\nJust gave birth to a boy.\nSeems his sperm haven't lost their motility!", "id": 2650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When folks are quite faddish and chic,\nThey view yesterday's fashions with pique.\nBut some others are happy\nWith things their grandpappy\nEnjoyed: they prefer what's antique.", "id": 2651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "We thought it might prove to be comical\n(And compared to a f\u00eate, economical),\nWhen naming our tot,\nFor our friends all to trot\nRound our attic: a jaunt amphidromical.", "id": 2652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This morning ALCOA's top men\nWere inspecting the factory, when\nOne got caught in the plater,\nAnd five minutes later\nCried, \"Curses, I'm foiled once again!\"", "id": 2653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "King Aegeus sent Theseus to fame;\nThe Minotaur's life he would claim.\nDad thought the lad failed\nWhen his ship was black-sailed:\nThe Aegean now bears the King's name.", "id": 2654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Old Scrooge wasn't just avaricious;\nHe was miserly, mean, and malicious.\nThree spirits adjured him;\nThey seem to have cured him.\nThe story is nice, but fictitious.", "id": 2655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you happen upon moldy nuts,\nBest eschew them, no ifs, ands, or buts!\nTheir foul aflatoxin\nWill spread like a pox in\nYour liver, destroying your guts.", "id": 2656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I'm a frostbit old groundhog named Sam.\nTo the tropics I moved\u2014Suriname.\nShadowed northward I rest,\nShadowed south from my nest:\nAn amphiscian Sam, now I am.", "id": 2657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Amphisbaena's a plumber's mistake\nIn the form of a mythical snake:\nOn the north end, a mouth,\nAnd again on the south.\nWith no exits, his stomach would break.", "id": 2658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Thy poem doth wax archaistic;\nThou apest too much the Artistic;\nIn dotage thy Muse\nDoth strain and confuse;\nShe maketh thy wit seem simplistic.", "id": 2659, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Autodidacts, self-teachers, amaze.\nThe impressive long label conveys\nThat they're teachers who work\nVery hard and don't shirk.\n(But when grading, they always give A's.)", "id": 2660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "When it comes to Olympian quarrels,\nAristotle can bottle his morals,\n'Cos the agonothetes\nDecides who got beat\u2014he's\nThe judge who awards all the laurels.", "id": 2661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "With funds at this time downright scanty,\nI won't likely up this game's ante.\nIf I fail to win,\nI might lose my skin\nTo a gambler turned armed vigilante.", "id": 2662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I must ask my analyst why\nI write silly verse till I'm dry.\nYears ago my ambition\nWas the New York Competition,\nBut the best I could get was a tie.", "id": 2663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "To my allergist: \"Why do I wheeze?\nAnd why do I sniffle and sneeze?\"\n\"A reaction,\" said he,\n\"To some sort of a tree\nOr to thingies that float on the breeze.\"", "id": 2664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Anadama bread rules our small roost.\nMom thinks it's a nutrient boost.\nWe go off to classes\nChock full of molasses\u2014\nStrong scholars that Mom has produced.", "id": 2665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I was ordered to make an appearance\nTo explain my prolonged incoherence.\nMy recent obscurity\nCaused Homeland Security\nTo revoke my once Top Secret clearance.", "id": 2666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I want to sing praise to Athena\nWith a tune on my old concertina,\nBut my neighbors object\nSo my plans are quite wrecked\nSince they've threatened to get a subpoena.", "id": 2667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am frequently down on all fours,\nThough I'll gladly stand up to push doors.\nWith my paws on the ground,\nI'm a tough little hound,\nIn position for opening drawers.", "id": 2668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The fourth-brightest star is Arcturus,\nFar enough from the Earth to inure us\nTo the thought that there's life\nSomewhere there to cause strife \u2014\nOr as Grandma would say, \"To cause tsuris.\"", "id": 2669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Look out at that weird apparition.\nIt drifts o'er the lawn sans cognition.\nIts clothing's in tatters\nAnd, not that it matters,\nIt can't have enjoyed good nutrition.", "id": 2670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An alley cat hasn't a home.\nHe's unloved like some worn garden gnome.\nPoor thing, he's a stray,\nDoomed to spend every day\nLeft all on his own just to roam.", "id": 2671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm a student of avian life.\nWith nine parrots my cottage is rife.\nBut at times when they screech\nI'm devoid of all speech,\nAnd I dash off in search of a knife.", "id": 2672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Let's have none of your sly hocus-pocus.\nIn spring you don't grow autumn crocus.\nFlowers grow from a corm\u2014\nWell, at least that's the norm\u2014\nSo please try to hang on to your focus.", "id": 2673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I truly hate eggplant\u2014a fact!\u2014\nBut against me the cookbooks are stacked.\nI still know what they mean\nWhen they say aubergine.\nIt is eggplant!  I feel I've been smacked.", "id": 2674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and speedysnail", "limerick": "Montresor, please heed my last call.\nI can still hear you out in the hall.\nNo Amontillado\nAficionado\nDrinks sherry behind a brick wall!", "id": 2675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "In Hokkaido the Ainus all shout\nThat the day that the world came about\nBy God's wondrous hand,\nHe created the land\nOn the back of a magical trout.", "id": 2676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "When I pick up my bow and my arrow,\nI'm thrilled to my sinews and marrow.\nArchery's the name\nOf my favorite game\u2014\nFine, feathered, and fit for a Pharaoh.", "id": 2677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I aspire to higher acclaim.\nMy aspiration?  That you know my name.\nI'm hardly a tyrant\u2014\nJust a budding aspirant\u2014\nBut stay out of the way of my fame.", "id": 2678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An aide to Lord Arthur of Dale\nChoked on ice and became rather pale.\nSaid Lord Arthur, \"I think\nI'll add some to my drink,\nSo that what ails my aide aids my ale.\"", "id": 2679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Acetylsalicylate pills\nAre not to be taken for thrills.\nYou won't kiss the sky,\nOr even get high:\nThey're asp'rin for down-to-earth ills.", "id": 2680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Two earthworms met up underground.\nSaid one, \"This whole lifestyle's unsound;\nOur annelid phylum\nCould use an asylum.\"\nUtopians \u2014 how they expound!", "id": 2681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "At times I'm so mad that I'm hopping.\nMy angriness sets my veins popping.\nI moan and I curse,\nWith swear-words diverse,\nBut my wife does much worse: she goes shopping.", "id": 2682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An akka's a spirit or witch,\nOr a town with a wall and a ditch,\nOr, if you can dig me,\nAn African Pygmy.\nThat palindrome knows how to switch!", "id": 2683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Three cheers for my old alma mater!\nOur most famous alum is a squatter.\nThe dorms are infested.\nMy teachers? Arrested.\nMy classmates adorn the cops' blotter.", "id": 2684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An alleyway loomed in my path.\nDid it shelter a person of wrath?\nIts walls seemed foreboding.\nI felt them eroding.\nI went home and took a hot bath.", "id": 2685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An admirer of Hitler, and keen\nTo kill enemies, seen or unseen \u2014\nThe Ugandans felt fear\nEvery time he'd appear.\nI am speaking of Idi Amin.", "id": 2686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "He was quite ambiverted, for sure.\nIn a crowd, he was shy and demure.\nBut when asked to go out,\nChange of mood came about,\nAnd he danced 'til his feet were a blur!", "id": 2687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My attention span's longest for food\n(And lim'ricks, if I'm in the mood).\nIf you want me to heel\nBefore eating a meal,\nYou and I, bud, are in for a feud.", "id": 2688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and SheilaB", "limerick": "Audiologists measure your hearing\nIf oncoming deafness you're fearing.\nAs computer screens show\nBoth the high tones and low,\nYou'll discover just what's disappearing.", "id": 2689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An analogue's like what you've got.\nIt's a similar thing, but it's not\nQuite exactly the same,\nLike a spark and a flame,\nOr the boat in your tub and my yacht.", "id": 2690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Aliterate people agree\nThey know how to read, just like me.\nBut books?  They don't heed them;\nThey don't like to read them.\nThey learn all they want from TV.", "id": 2691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Acanthi are famed, for a leaf\nThat's a classical sculpture motif.\nThese mauve and white bloomers\n(According to rumors)\nLook great as a teddy bear brief.", "id": 2692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If a cobra's injected a dose\nOr a man o' war's gotten too close,\nDon't just cry that you'll die\nOr you may, by and by.\nAntivenin's what you need the mos'.", "id": 2694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Acephaly comes from roots Greek.\nIt means \"without head,\" so to speak.\n[when] It's used in your verse,\n[then] Your lines will be terse,\n[their] First syllables dropped as technique.", "id": 2695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Maurizio, anglice Morris,\nJoined a coro, or anglice, chorus.\nHe made Roma his home\u2014\nThat is, anglice Rome\u2014\nAnd learned English from Roget's Thesaurus.", "id": 2696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Amygdaloid, some people say,\nLends to almonds a certain cachet.\nWithout that precision\nTheir shapes face derision\nIn a state of complete disarray.", "id": 2697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Send me accolades, then send me praise.\nTo be truthful, they brighten my days.\nWhen folks love my puns,\nI'm going great guns!\nI'm so happy to thrill and amaze.", "id": 2698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I absently twiddled my hair.\nMy mind was most clearly not there.\nI was barely awake,\nAnd I looked like a flake,\nBored out of my gourd in my chair.", "id": 2699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My hero's Attila the Hun.\nBefore this man's plunder was done,\nRoman cities were sacked\nAs he scourged and attacked.\nBarbarians, too, can be fun.", "id": 2700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Ancestral homes\u2014stately and regal!\nIt's good to have roots rich and legal.\nBut to those on all fours,\nA kennel was yours.\nHow deprived is the life of a beagle!", "id": 2701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Well, I have a question to ask,\nAnd it isn't too hard of a task.\nThough I post as a beagle,\nAnd that's not illegal,\nWill you still love me if I unmask?", "id": 2702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "What gives with unhousebroken apery?\nYour cage is quite fouled-on-the-paper-y.\nMore apes you'll attract\nIf like monkeys you act,\nSo why are you climbing the drapery?", "id": 2703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I am, don't you know, an artiste,\nOnce a guest at a grand White House feast.\nBaryshnikov danced,\nAnd Seabiscuit pranced,\nWhile the national debt just increased.", "id": 2704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "In the Sixties when folk songs were creed\nSang a singer yclept Susan Reed.\nAutoharp she would play\nIn a folksinger's way,\nAnd her lilting soprano we'd heed.", "id": 2705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "\"Abandon ship!\" was the rallying cry.\nJust get into a lifeboat\u2014or die!\nIf aboard the Titanic,\nYou'd be in a panic.\nThere were far too few lifeboats, that's why.", "id": 2706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I think it is perfectly apt\nFor a beagle to learn to adapt\nTo people-type rhyming\nAnd metrical timing\nTo be sure that you're perfectly rapt.", "id": 2707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Most plants naturally need to grow roots,\nNot to mention some buds and some shoots.\nIn this, auxin will aid\nIf its work's not betrayed:\nAntiauxin the growing disputes.", "id": 2708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Over six thousand meters in height\nAnd capped by fresh snow pure and white,\nHigh peaks of the Andes,\nLike chocolate candies,\nAre Chile's cool pearls of delight.", "id": 2709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A shopper says, \"I'm a consumerist,\"\nAnd a bookkeeper says, \"I'm a numerist.\"\nBut me, I deride\nThis appellative pride:\nI'm a fool, or a clown, not a \"humorist.\"", "id": 2710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "All the mayors in Spanish domains,\nIn the mountainous chains and on plains:\nAlcalde's their title,\nTheir jobs are quite vital.\nOnce Moorish, the name still remains.", "id": 2711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The asterisk, shaped like a star,*\nMeans a note down below,\nKept remote so the flow\nOf the text isn't vexed with a mar.\n* Or a spider, when seen from afar", "id": 2712, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Autochthonous rocks may be found\nAt the place where they formed in the ground.\nAn autochthonous clot\nComes from blood on the spot,\nAnd autochthonous clans stick around.", "id": 2713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'd accommodate you in a flash,\nAnd I wouldn't require much cash.\nWhatever you need,\nI'm ripe for the deed,\nSo whom do you want me to bash?", "id": 2714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The arranger arranged quite a range\nOf harmonics both awkward and strange.\nThe strings, they would waver,\nThe woodwinds would quaver,\nAnd midst of a stanza, the meter would undergo a disconcerting change.", "id": 2715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "\"On your adequateness I'm expounding!\nYour sufficiency's really astounding!\"\nI hope you won't mind\nIf I say that I find\nAll your compliments less than resounding.", "id": 2716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In regard to your mammal amassment\n(I don't want this to sound like harassment):\nYou've got six breeds of dogs,\nAlso llamas and hogs...\nBut I can't help but ask where your ass went?", "id": 2717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "It affects you like pure digitalis\nTo view the aurora australis.\nIf seeking this show,\nThen you can't mind the snow \u2014\nThe Antarctic's an icicle palace.", "id": 2718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "The word bite is to bit and to bitten\nAs write is to wrote and to written.\nThey smite you in school\nWith apophony's rule.\nMe, they smote. Now with words I am smitten.", "id": 2719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "The Descartes devotee had a hissy\nWhile watching a flick called Sweet Missy.\nHe'd gone there to see\nAxes x, y, and z,\nFor he'd thought \"Double X\" meant abscissae.", "id": 2720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "In childhood, it's bedtime at eight,\nAnd you dream of adulthood \u2014 can't wait!\nOnce you're grown, you'll be free\nTo stay up way past three,\nBut by then you won't want to. (That's fate.)", "id": 2721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "With his axe-stroke held back in suspension,\nHe asked for the convict's attention.\n\"Now please fix your focus\nWith me as the locus.\"\n(The rest is too gory to mention.)", "id": 2722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "If you ever ask Joe from Des Moines,\n\"Can you tell me what states you adjoin?\"\nHe'll say first, \"Minnesota,\"\nAnd then, \"South Dakota.\"\nFor more, you must slip him a coin.", "id": 2723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "As a waiter, you'll have to conclude\nAffability sets the right mood.\nYou can chit; you can chat.\nPeople love you for that\nJust as long as you keep bringing food.", "id": 2724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Adventure's no function of sex,\nBut in language, such issues can vex:\nAn adventurous guy\nWill sound daring and spry,\nWhile adventuress sounds like a hex.", "id": 2725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A rare shell I just found augurs well\nFor my speech on the very same shell.\nNow, my talk shouldn't bore,\nThough the shell from the shore\nIs an auger, and augers bore swell.", "id": 2726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A transgendered pal had to piddle,\nBut where to go? That was the riddle.\nTwixt doors \"Gents\" and \"Dames\"\nS/he picked neither; the names\nDidn't fit, so s/he aimed in the middle.", "id": 2727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I love to go off on a ramble.\nThrough woods and o'er streams do I amble.\nIf a rabbit I smell\nI'm a bat out of hell.\nSee the tip of my tail as I gambol.", "id": 2728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I want a new pet, an amoeba.\nI won't call it \"Shirley\" or \"Reba.\"\n'Twill be named for a queen.\nWhen it cannot be seen,\nI'll bellow, \"Come back, little Sheba.\"", "id": 2729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An afflux of blood makes you flush\nAs it moves to one place in a rush.\nIf you tingle or burn,\nIt's no cause for concern.\n(My favorite example?  The blush.)", "id": 2730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A deity, human in form\nLike Vishnu (most often the norm);\nAn embodiment of\nA concept, like love\u2014\nAn avatar?  You're getting warm.", "id": 2731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now this is an interesting topic:\nRemoving fatigue \u2014 that's acopic.\nMy method's quite clear:\nI drink plenty of beer.\nI know when I'm ready to stop (hic).", "id": 2732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The aardvark's an odd-looking beast,\nSo the name is quite fitting at least.\nIt searches around\nFor where insects abound\nTo get termites and ants for its feast.", "id": 2733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abreaction's the outlet of fears\nOr of worries and hidden ideas,\nBut we shouldn't be critical\nOf psychoanalytical\nRegressions that go back for years.", "id": 2734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My bright eyes look up at you pertly.\nMy attention is on you, alertly.\nI just want to play\nAnd eat food every day.\nIf not, I will lie here inertly.", "id": 2735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "When your payment is quite overdue,\nThen your interest will start to accrue.\nYou've gone down the wrong path,\n'Cause with credit card math,\nOne and one add to greater than two!", "id": 2736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"What's your problem?\" Vic grumbled and cursed\nAt his date as she daintily nursed\nA small, warm glass of beer.\nSue responded in fear,\n\"It's adipsia \u2014 absence of thirst.\"", "id": 2737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Automated bank teller machine,\nPlease dispense brand-new bills crisp and green;\nFive bucks should be plenty\u2014\nHey, wait! You gave twenty!\nYou'll ATMpty my bank balance clean.", "id": 2738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai and mike scholtes", "limerick": "A costly electrical tool,\nThe attenuator follows this rule:\nWhopping signals go in\nBut emerge weak and thin\u2014\nLike an amp that was built by a fool.", "id": 2739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When this tidal bore bears down on thee,\nYou'll be eager the aegir to flee.\nIf the maritime god\nStrikes your vessel roughshod,\nYou'll feel Aegir's long reach from the sea.", "id": 2740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A playwright is rarely delighted\nBy actors whose mem'ries are blighted.\nIt's not good enough\nWhen they speak off the cuff,\nAnd the lines are ad-libbed, not recited.", "id": 2741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The folks who are easily peeved,\nOr angry, or feeling aggrieved,\nOr those in a schism,\nCould join our new -ism:\nAntagon, a Church we've conceived.", "id": 2742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A tutor who tutored a tooter\nKept on tooting, which drove us to shoot her.\nWe explained to the cop:\n\"But she just wouldn't stop!\nWhat alternative method would mute her?\"", "id": 2743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As the clues, signs, and portents appear,\nApprehensiveness gives way to fear.\nBut false worries are ended\nWhen fate's apprehended,\nAnd the path through the maze becomes clear.", "id": 2744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ruth offered her heart without guile.\n\"Accepted,\" said Art with a smile.\nBut their marriage turned sour.\nNow she's Art-less and dour,\nAnd he's Ruth-lessly living in style.", "id": 2745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since finding a rhyme can be tough,\nPerhaps similar spelling's enough.\nWe'd rhyme bough with a cough,\nOr pair plough with a trough.\nIt's not great, but it's adequate stuff.", "id": 2746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Words ending -C-Y, as designed,\nShow the properties being defined:\nApparency's clearness,\nAdjacency's nearness,\nAdherency sticks in my mind.", "id": 2747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An auspex, a flighty old Roman,\nWatches doves to divine where they're homin'.\nThese movements of birds\nBring prophetical words\nFrom the auspices reading an omen.", "id": 2748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the twilight, he started to pray\nFor more daytime to finish a fray:\n\"Sun o'er Gibeon, STALL!\nMoon o'er Ajalon, CRAWL!\"\nCaptain Joshua's prayer saved the day.", "id": 2749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The tot kicked and screamed, was afeard\nOf Santa's enormous white beard.\nSanta said, \"I'm your dad\u2014\nDon't be scared, don't be sad.\"\nBut the toddler cried, \"Daddy, you're weird!\"", "id": 2750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The Argonauts rowed Jason's boat.\nThe Aegean is where they did float\nAs they sought the gold fleece,\nWhich was famed throughout Greece\n'Cause it made for a premium coat.", "id": 2751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Poor me, I'm so fiercely athirst.\nHe who emptied my bowl is now cursed!\nI need my fresh water.\nFill my bowl!  I'm your daughter!\nI'd thrive if our roles were reversed.", "id": 2752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "There once was a lad from Aruba\nWho hankered to master the tuba,\nBut tourists arriving\nTo practice their diving\nInstead turned his head toward scuba.", "id": 2753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "So-called animal control is a lie.\nThey are dog catchers.  I want to cry.\nNo one tries to assuage us.\nThey throw us in cages!\nThe dogs they \"control\" mostly die.", "id": 2754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Whenever I eat guacamole,\nI savor the taste very slowly.\nI'm a true avocado\nAficionado\u2014\nTo me other foods seem unholy.", "id": 2755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An acquittance says, \"This debt is done.\"\nIt feels like you lost a whole ton.\nAn acquittance can edit\nA lien from your credit:\nKick back and relax\u2014have some fun!", "id": 2756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In my church's fine atrium hall\nGleams an orange, white-veined, marble wall.\nHow strange, then, to hear\nThat it's ashlar veneer,\nAnd is not solid marble at all.", "id": 2757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The mahout did his best to affirm\nThat his pachyderm tripped on a worm,\nWhich produced a large sore\nOn his wrist, and some more\nOn his rear, which made all of us squirm.", "id": 2758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Mother Goose draped the walls of her terrace\nWith a tapestry known as an arras\nWhich, woven in Flanders,\nDepicted nine ganders\nUnsteadily weaving through Paris.", "id": 2759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Anemometers measure the wind.\nThose who own them should feel quite chagrined\nIf a hurricane strikes\nAnd they're out on their bikes:\nThey'd deserve any knees that get skinned.", "id": 2760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Once you know that a single degree\nContains sixty, I think you'll agree\nThat on circles it's not\nWorth much more than a jot:\nSee, the arcminute's ambit is wee.", "id": 2761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Lucinda looks up at me coyly,\nThen down at her fine linen doily,\nArrasene on her spool\nIn a kerosene pool\n(Her embroidery's bright, but it's oily).", "id": 2762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Don't urge me to do something drastic:\nI'm not, you see, very elastic.\nI'm moldy and stale;\nDon't mold me, you'll fail.\nIf you try, you'll see why: I'm aplastic.", "id": 2763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Meg's back has a middle-sized patch\nThat she's wholly unable to scratch.\nIt's called her acnestis:\nIf itchy, what's best is\nTo rub on the furniture\u2014natch.", "id": 2764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "You'll find that it takes perseverance\nTo get your security clearance.\nThose guys play by the book;\nDon't forget how you look:\nDo not disregard your appearance.", "id": 2765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Even though, notwithstanding, albeit\nAre phrases for when you decree it\nIs not quite the case,\nWhen you say of a face,\n\"It's divine,\" but it pains you to see it.", "id": 2766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "As a botanist, Steve came to grips\nWith the millions of plants without lips\nWith acheilous, you know\n(Vowels all in a row!):\nIt's a word that he takes on his trips.", "id": 2767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A stylish young lady named Carol\nCommenced walking 'round in a barrel.\nSoon followed the fashion\nTo stroll with a passion\nDown Main Street in wooden apparel.", "id": 2768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Priestley discovered the gas\nHe called oxygen, some said, \"Alas!\nThey are far too simplistic,\nThese antiphlogistic\nOpinions\u2014we spurn them en masse.\"", "id": 2769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The apiary's where they flung us:\nSoon hornets and bees buzzed among us.\nWe swatted, of course,\nBut with little remorse,\nThey just stung us and stung us and stung us.", "id": 2770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My doctor is very ambagious;\nOne time the result was outrageous.\nHe endlessly rambled\u2014\nHis words, sorely scrambled,\nBeclouded the gist: \"It's contagious.\"", "id": 2771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Aristotle's best students would feast\nAs each word from his mouth was released.\nThis style, acroatic,\nWas undemocratic.\nToday we've Loeb Classics, at least.", "id": 2772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "I've wanted to ask an attacker,\n\"Say, who is your sponsor, you hacker?\"\nWe often waste time\nAt the end of the crime\nAnd we never get back to the backer.", "id": 2773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Attendance-wise I've been sporadical,\nAnd my chemistry prof's on sabbatical.\nIn order to pass I'll\nIdentify acyl:\nA double-bond RCO radical.", "id": 2774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Adenosine, some would submit,\nIs what DNA yields when it's split.\nTake some adenine base,\nAdd some ribose (a trace),\nAnd this nucleoside's what you get.", "id": 2775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A sack merchant, very astute,\nWhen he stepped through a sheet with his boot,\nTook some sackcloth and linen\nWith needle and pin in,\nAnd said, \"To this spread, I'll adjute.\"", "id": 2776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "They call me a vulgar contrarian.\nI'll gladly admit I'm sectarian,\nBut those Freudian twits\nAre inferior gits.\nThey must bow before me, an Adlerian.", "id": 2777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I looked my old friend in the face,\nAnd asked how he'd paid for his space\n(A mansion, it's termed).\nHe smugly affirmed:\n\"I took Alydar, three times, to place.\"", "id": 2778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With Chris getting long in the tooth,\nHis anxiety heightened, forsooth!\nTo live until zed,\nHe saw up ahead:\nA limerick fountain of youth!", "id": 2779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"My students,\" moaned Steve, \"aren't attentive.\nI need to provide an incentive.\"\nSo he gave them some seed\nFrom a naturalized weed.\n\"Marijuana,\" he said, \"is adventive!\"", "id": 2780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Through the decades that Bond's been a spy,\nSigns of aging he's seemed to defy.\nDoes he have special clearance\nFor youthful appearance?\nPerhaps agerasia is why.", "id": 2781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Up on land's where the frog went a-courtin'\n(Molly Mouse was the girl he was sportin'),\nBut their date she did break\nWhen he jumped in the lake:\nThat amphibian sex sent her snortin'.", "id": 2782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said Freud to his patient named Alice: \"And\nHow long have you wanted a phallus and\nTo sleep with your mother?\"\nSaid Alice, \"Oh, brother!\nAs long as I've been your analysand!\"", "id": 2783, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Old Sledge, Seven Up, and All-Fours\nAre all names for a game played indoors.\nIf your card's low or high\nYou're a lucky-ish guy;\nGet the jack, and a victory's yours.", "id": 2784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Try Britney's asparagus, steamed;\nIt's delectable when it's been creamed\nWith oil and flour:\nYou'll want to devour\nHer spears more than ever you'd dreamed.", "id": 2785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Your aspic anon I'd be gobbling\nIf only it stopped all that wobbling.\nIts beefy bouquet\nHas provoked me to bay,\nWhile my head, like a spring, goes a-bobbling.", "id": 2786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ignatius, Polycarp, Clem:\nApostolic, and Fathers, were them.\nPersecuted by Romies,\nThey rapped to their homies\nTwo thousand years 'fore Eminem.", "id": 2787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The popsicle trafficker Tucker\nInvented a lemony sucker,\n\"Astringency Pop.\"\n'Twas a marketing flop!\nWhen you sucked it, you couldn't unpucker.", "id": 2788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a silvery-tinctured facade\nOn a shield or a piece for your cod,\nI'd bet argent's at play;\nEven more so, I'd say,\nWith a moth-eaten Zombie named Rod.", "id": 2789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The degree that I hope to earn soon\nTo assist in my trip to the Moon?\nAstronautics\u2014I've learned\nFrom the cows who returned\nWhen the dish ran away with the spoon.", "id": 2790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I'll transfer your land, for a fee,\"\nSaid the property lawyer to me.\n\"But it's totally vital\nTo hand me the title\nTo give to the new assignee.\"", "id": 2791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sporemonger heartily yells\nOn the hill where the liverwort dwells:\n\"In her fungus premier,\nArchesporium's here!\nShe's the mother of spore mother cells!\"", "id": 2792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Sir Christopher Codrington came\nTo Antigua, with sugar his aim,\nUsing slaves in pursuit\nOf this ill-gotten loot.\nHis successors shed slavery's shame.", "id": 2793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "We are fighting a war of attrition.\nMy saying so isn't sedition;\nIt's a fact that the fight\nWon't be won by who's right,\nBut by who's got the most ammunition.", "id": 2794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm condemned, without hearing a gavel;\nWith cement, they mixed aggregate (gravel).\nI harbored no wishes\nTo sleep with the fishes,\nBut my shoes say \"Have concrete: will travel.\"", "id": 2795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When water in lakes is anoxic,\nTo fish, it's perniciously toxic,\n'Cause gills are no use,\nLike a neck in a noose;\nThat's how sewage can render a loch sick.", "id": 2796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The auger can bore a neat hole,\nWhich I've proven on plank and on pole.\nBut to moles, proudly showing\nThis tool, is like going\nTo Newcastle carrying coal.", "id": 2797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "How expressions like arrgh should be spelled,\nNo one knows, but it's sure that they're yelled.\nIn misspeaking a line\nOr in reading bad rhyme\nSaying, \"Aargh!\" will leave enmity quelled.", "id": 2798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Roll a rollicking rhotic that's written\nWith rr, and the gals will be smitten.\nYour alveolar trill\nWill produce such a thrill\nIn a sexy Hispanic young kitten.", "id": 2799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Don't anthropomorphize PCs.\nDon't say that they're mad when they freeze.\nDon't pretend they're alive\nAnd can think, feel, and strive.\nThey hate that, so give it up, please.", "id": 2800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "From alchemy he's an abstainer.\nHis reason he thinks a no-brainer:\nIf he found alkahest\nAt the end of his quest,\nThen where would he find a container?", "id": 2801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "For computing an AND, build a gate;\nGive it inputs A, B (equal weight).\nIf both inputs are one,\nSo's the output, else none.\nFor a NAND, it's the opposite state.", "id": 2802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "At times, an unusual meal\nMakes me really regret how I feel.\nSo I head, quite distressed,\nTo the medicine chest\nFor an anti- (run fast!) diarrheal.", "id": 2803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Not ever before and not since\nHave I done such a thing; made me wince.\nI kissed him, closed eyes.\nThen I opened, surprise:\nHe's amphibian still, not a prince.", "id": 2804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Where is the assistance? There's naught!\"\nCried a man whose whole family was caught\nIn tsunami waves vast\u2014\nCataclysmic\u2014too fast\nTo flee tragedy nature had wrought.", "id": 2805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An elephant (Asian) once ate\nEvery pineapple left on a plate\nBy a careless mahout\nWho forgot to point out\nThey were meant for his African mate.", "id": 2806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "All the protests proclaimed it a crime\nTo employ Agent Orange \u2014 big time.\nBut we know that's absurd:\nWe had Kissinger's word!\n(Bet he never employed it in rhyme.)", "id": 2807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The haughty hive owner named Keyes\nBoasted, \"I have the best breed of bees.\nIt quite adds to my wallet\nSo I'd rather you call it\nApiculture, not bee-keeping, please!\"", "id": 2808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Wearing aprons while cooking is swell:\nAsk a crab, and a turkey as well.\nOn a turkey it's skin\nThat keeps stuffing within;\nOn a crab it's a part of the shell.", "id": 2809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Please don't offer me prunes that are stewed,\nAnd no beer that's been recently brewed.\nThat was never my style.\nLet me cook for awhile,\nAnd accustom you all to fine food.", "id": 2810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Phyl Reinhard and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A Baltimore poet named Poe\nOnce raved about ravens, you know?\nSo a Baltimore team\nTook their name in esteem.\nAs an homage, it seemed apropos.", "id": 2811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "About antiparticles: when\nYou're contrasting with neutrons, again,\nAntineutron is right.\n(Maybe this time you might\nWant to write in your notebook in pen?)", "id": 2812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "The doctor, angelically kind,\nBrought a heavenly feeling to mind.\n  He was calm and serene,\n  Never base, never mean;\nBut he still said, \"Your card is declined.\"", "id": 2813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Akinesics, unable to move\nCan undoubtedly stand to improve.\n   Their paralysis stinks!\n   If it stays, then methinks\nThey shall never get back in their groove.", "id": 2814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Our lovely young foreign au pair\nTends our kids with her competent care;\n  But when they go out\n  With their mother, I shout\n\"May we now please begin our affair?\"", "id": 2815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's a cute little curtain of rings;\nMove your head, and it jingles and sings.\nFrom your basinet pale,\nHang an aventail's mail,\n'Cause a sword in the neck really stings.", "id": 2816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "An august master chef, Escoffier\n(Whose brigade system's still used today),\nPut himself well above\nThose who quarrel and shove\nIn a pompous chef's kitchen affray.", "id": 2817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Driving frightened me so, I was sick;\nThen I learned self-hypnosis, a trick\nThat was merely a question\nOf autosuggestion.\nNow autos don't scare me a lick.", "id": 2818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A day with beginnings auspicious\nCan turn into something pernicious,\nRife with glumness and gloom\nAnd destruction and doom.\nWow, those toddlers can really be vicious!", "id": 2819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "If you cheat in a rowing regatta\nOn the silvery R\u00edo de Plata\nThe Argentine team\nWill protest and scream,\n\"Declare him persona non grata!\"", "id": 2820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I find all this adware a pest.\nAll the adverts in programs suggest\nThat I'm no good in bed\nOr in debt o'er my head,\nAnd I'd fail an intelligence test.", "id": 2821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Just north from the Pole lies a latitude:\nThe Antarctic Circle's got attitude.\nIt's too cold for me\n(And I never could ski),\nSo that's why I'll give it this platitude.", "id": 2822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Apportionable means, if I may,\nWe can divvy stuff up right away.\nSo for now, let me see...\nOne for you, two for me.\nThat'll work out just fine. What'cha say?", "id": 2823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen; farewell!\nI'm off to the front for a spell.\nIf my mother should call,\nSay I'm having a ball;\nIf the Kaiser should call, give him hell.", "id": 2824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "My arteries, something's not right \u2014\nAbnormally thick. What a fright!\nThe doctor said, \"Cheerio!\nSeems you've got arterio-\nsclerosis.\" (He's such a delight!)", "id": 2825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "After starting in early September,\nAcademic years pause in December,\n\tThen dwindle away\n\tUntil June, perhaps May.\nIt's not funny, but quick to remember.", "id": 2826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Our poetry's worth never fades;\nOur readers will put on parades!\nHow they'll cheer!  How they'll roar!\nThey'll send presents galore,\nAnd pour accolades down in cascades!", "id": 2827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though a stethoscope's cold application\nMay prove an unpleasant sensation,\nIf Doc hears a wheeze\nIt's a sign of disease:\nAuscultation could be your salvation.", "id": 2828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Combine just a bit of voyeur\nWith the skills of an entrepreneur,\nWrite the script, coach the actors,\nIgnore your detractors:\nLike Hitchcock, you'll be an auteur.", "id": 2829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My Shakespeare auditions were fine\u2014\nThough as Hamlet I fluffed the odd line\u2014\nBut my Shylock went well,\nMy Othello was swell,\nAnd my Bottom, they said, was divine!", "id": 2830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Though condemned to support the whole Earth\nUpon shoulders of heavenly worth,\nAtlas bore the world's weight\u2014\nGave his name through his fate\u2014\nTo books mapping the planet's great girth.", "id": 2831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "\"In the desert the aridness dries\nOut the skin and all else,\" she decries.\n\"There's no water out here,\nBring me lotions, my dear,\nAnd some onions for wetting my eyes.\"", "id": 2832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To both liver and milk he's averse.\nAsked the reason, his answer was terse.\n\"Hate the look.  Hate the smell.\nHate the taste.\" Can you tell\nHis aversiveness couldn't get worse?", "id": 2833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Born in Ghana, 1938,\nKofi Annan transcends that small state.\nHe heads up the UN,\nWhere his tenure has been,\nFor the peace of the world, quite first rate.", "id": 2834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Yellow avens kept milk fresh in dairies\nAnd white avens were flowers for fairies.\nPurple avens blooms burn\nVivid colors, then turn\nInto seedpods like smoke on the prairies.", "id": 2835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I submit that I'm courage-impaired,\nPusillanimous, timid, and scared.\nThere's an obsolete phrase\nFor my cowardly ways,\nSo say \"arrgh!\" when my arghness is aired.", "id": 2836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My husband's great talent is sportative;\nOn tennis, he's often exhortative.\nI play tennis too,\nPretty well, so that you\nMay conclude that our mating's assortative.", "id": 2837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Augean's the name of the stable\nThat Hercules cleaned; he was able\nTo divert a great flow\nOf a river, or so\nIt's reputed in legend and fable.", "id": 2838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Carbon atoms define a.m.u.\nBut the gram-mass is standardized too.\nBy their ratio, thus set,\nWe acknowledge our debt\nTo this scientist's chemical view.", "id": 2839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I won't give a proton to you;\nThey're mine\u2014and they're sticky like glue.\nI'm aprotic, you see,\nSo it's not up to me,\nBut electrons?  I might have a few.", "id": 2840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "King Arthur: some say he was fake,\nOthers credit what legend hath spake.\nI accept the accord\nOn the stone and the sword,\nBut what gives with that broad in the lake?", "id": 2841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This word is not hard to define.\nIts use (nowadays in decline)\nFor \"old\" is depicted\nAnd often restricted\nTo drunks and the song \"Auld Lang Syne.\"", "id": 2842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In this life, I'm an also-ran (Loser!).\nI'm in love with my Foster's can (Boozer!).\nI'm the ball, not the bat;\nFate's great Foot squashed me flat.\nThat's my theme: I'm a Python fan (Sousa!).", "id": 2843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Absentmindedly here I post verse,\nWhich is bad and then gets even worse.\nI know I'm no poet,\nAnd by now you all know it.\nI'm thankful that lim'ricks are terse.", "id": 2844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The jury acquitted Ed Miller\nIn the death of a rival distiller.\nThe man got too frisky\nAnd drowned in his whiskey.\n'Twas a jurisprudential-type thriller.", "id": 2845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Their shape is like that of a pear.\nTheir taste and their texture are rare.\nAvocado pears spread\nLike green butter on bread.\nThere are pits in their midst, so take care.", "id": 2846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "The land Amazonia hides\nA nation of towering brides.\nA man, in submission,\nAccepts this condition:\nA queendom is where he resides.", "id": 2847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "Prince Albert proclaimed to the queen,\n\"I really don't want to be seen,\nBut I want you, mein Vicky,\nSo let's have a quickie\nBefore we receive Aberdeen.\"", "id": 2848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "I've got lots of recordings to hear\nWith my wonderful audio gear,\nLike my old gramophone,\nBut my eardrums are blown,\nSo the sound isn't terribly clear.", "id": 2849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The story of Mr J. Merrick\nWas filmed by that most esoteric\nDirector, D. Lynch.\nThe result makes one flinch,\nBut it really is quite atmospheric.", "id": 2850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An aal is a plant (this is clear)\nWhich yields a red dye guys revere.\nShould you, Fred, and Ted\nGo to paint the town red,\nSing out \"Hail, Hail, the gang is aal here!\"", "id": 2851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There is no need to be prolegomenous.\nThe word only seems to sound ominous.\nIf you've got a huge belly\nLike a big bag of jelly,\nIn a word, it is clear, you're abdominous.", "id": 2852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An ace: what a tennis pro gains\nWhen a point on one serve he attains.\nOr he might be an ace\nAs in \"King of Airspace\"\nIf he shoots down five enemy planes.", "id": 2853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Madagascar's extinct Aepyornis\nThe biggest bird ever was born is.\nWith ten-gallon eggs\nAnd enormous great legs,\nThis is one that I'm 'appier gone is.", "id": 2854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm swearing by all that is holy\nI'd kill for the sauce called aioli.\nIt's Non Sequitur Day\nSo allow me to say:\n\"Leave the pistol, but take the cannoli.\"", "id": 2855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "His punch, like a butterfly free,\nCould well float, but then sting like a bee.\nHe was born Cassius Clay\nBut we know him today\nAs \"The Greatest,\" Muhammad Ali.", "id": 2856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Second World War, all seemed black\nWhen the enemy planes would attack.\nOur relief was intense\nWhen we heard the defense \u2014\nAntiaircraft: we called it ack ack.", "id": 2857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Society's rules are applicative,\nAn example of which I'll be quick to give:\nDo not spit on your priest,\nFriend, or partner, or beast,\nWhen pronouncing a dissonant fricative.", "id": 2858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "How articulately did you phrase\nYour critiques \u2014 not a smidgen of praise!\nErudition's my thing,\nSo despite words that sting,\nI will not light my lim'ricks ablaze.", "id": 2859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The antistrophe, bellowed before us,\nResounds in response to a chorus.\n\tIf you're really a geek,\n\tYou'll know that it's Greek\u2014\nSuch pedantry's likely to bore us.", "id": 2860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "As a child, when I ailed with the flu,\nMy Gram fed me jam, blackish-blue.\nRecent research explains\nThis dark color contains\nAntiviral in black elder stew.", "id": 2861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The clerk, though inclined to be affable,\nLost patience, presented with laughable\nInstructions to wire\nThe Romans in Tyre.\nHe cried, \"But they're untelegraphable!\"", "id": 2862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Sola fide's their heretic creed:\nFaith alone to salvation can lead.\nThough the legalist clerks\nTally all their good works,\nAntinomians still may succeed.", "id": 2863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Most cells, as they grow, will divide,\nWhile others, like fat cells, grow wide.\nTheir growth is auxetic,\nWhich I think's pathetic.\nI'd split if I could. (And I've tried!)", "id": 2864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Consider the issue statistically.\nCan unselfishness somehow be mystically\nTo my benefit? Gee!\nSo what's in it for me?\nWhy the hell should I act altruistically?", "id": 2865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aldebaran, rising before us,\nThe brightest red giant in Taurus,\nIs starting to morph\nTo a tiny white dwarf,\nBut at 65 light-years, won't gore us.", "id": 2866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If Inquisitors felt like a bake,\nOr they judged that your doctrines were fake,\nWith your sins cleansed away\nIn an auto-da-f\u00e9,\nFor your good you'd be burned at the stake.", "id": 2867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "We've a houseguest that I'd like to smother!\nSpoils his nieces, that son of my mother.\nAnd he does it, you see,\nQuite avuncularly\u2014\nBig surprise!  He's their uncle\u2014my brother!", "id": 2868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Anastasia, the Tsar's youngest daughter,\nWas thought to have hid from the slaughter\nBy some who would rather\nShe'd ruled like her father.\nMy theory? The Bolsheviks caught 'er.", "id": 2869, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A lamp was devised by Argand\nThat became de rigeur through the land.\nIts primary trick\nWas a hollowed-out wick.\nEven lighthouses beamed with this brand.", "id": 2870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You'd diminish the nose on your face?\nYour appendix, remove from its place?\nAchieve anablepsis?\nA state of asepsis\nIs where to begin in each case.", "id": 2871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The diagram drawn by Argand\nIn a polar-coordinate hand\nIsn't meant to perplex,\nBut the plane is complex\nSo at first you might not understand.\t", "id": 2872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I once was the only dog here.\nNo canine would dare interfere.\nIs a second dog legal?\nWhat's worse, he's a beagle!\u2014\nAbsolutely a plague, so I fear.", "id": 2873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "You needn't go sound the alert.\nMy actions are hardly covert.\nYou need no alarm.\nI mean you no harm.\nI only came here for dessert.", "id": 2874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Did you see that old movie, Algiers?\nThe Frenchman and Hedy in tears?\n\"To the Casbah please take me\nAnd never forsake me\"\u2014\nSuch words linger on through the years.", "id": 2875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "An aperitif starts our fine meal,\nThen a chilled Chardonnay has appeal.\nLet's open a red\nBefore going to bed.\nA Pinot might just be ideal.", "id": 2876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Arizona's the state where I dwell,\nWhere the dusty winds billow and swell.\nIt's a hundred at night\nAnd the scorpions bite:\nIt resembles the entrance to Hell.", "id": 2877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Her surgeon had deftly designed\nA bosom and tummy refined;\nHer forehead's uncreased,\nAnd her eyes are a feast,\nBut her aftmost he left far behind.", "id": 2878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's nothing alluring, it's true,\nAbout making a stew with your shoe.\nIt will not taste too pleasant,\nBut if you're a peasant,\nIt might be the best you can do.", "id": 2880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I laughed when I saw the attorney\nBeing rushed down the hall on a gurney.\nP.I. is his field,\nBut now he's being wheeled\u2014\nCompensation will be a long journey.", "id": 2881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Some canines are trained to attack\n(Of empathy they have a lack),\nBut I'm trained to lick\nAnd write limericks slick\u2014\nI don't even dare to talk back.", "id": 2882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Don't charge me, dear cop, with assault.\nSee, really, I'm much more at fault.\nPlease charge me with battery;\nThat really would flatter me\nSince mayhem's my normal gestalt.", "id": 2883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An astronomer studies the stars\nAnd can plot how to get us to Mars;\nKnows how planets align,\nBut won't ask for your sign.\nBeing called an astrologer jars.", "id": 2884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If you find you must hold an election,\nAnd you need, for the date, a selection,\nWhat's far from the worst\nFor your choice? April 1st.\nAll Fools' Day should cause no objection.", "id": 2885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "In a place and a time not so near\nWhen a weapon 'round waist would appear\nTo be useful to wear\nWhen you swagger and glare,\n'Twas an anlace that backed up your sneer.", "id": 2886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To which genus do goshawks belong?\nSaying Levi's would clearly be wrong.\nBut if you would state\n\"It's Accipiter, mate,\"\nThen your knowledge of hawks is quite strong.", "id": 2887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Avidya: it means I forgot\nMy divinity. That is my lot.\nYou see that old sod?\nHe thinks that he's God.\nI am, but I think that I'm not.", "id": 2888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The plumber examined my pipe,\nThen suddenly let out a yipe.\n\"I can't ascertain\nWhat's wrong with your drain\u2014\nApart from this nest full of snipe.\"", "id": 2889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My cat, in the summer, was parched,\nSo across to his saucer he marched.\nBut my dog (what a nerve!)\nGot there first\u2014what a curve\nOn the back of my cat as he arched!", "id": 2890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Louisa May Alcott befriended\nThoreau, and her children's books blended\nHer life with her sisters\nAnd little-ish misters;\nHer Women sold more than her Men did.", "id": 2891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A tar once accounted the tale\nOf his living inside of a whale.\n  \"That's malarkey,\" I cried,\n  \"You should surely have died!\nIn a whale, without fail, there's no ale!\"", "id": 2892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "In Japan, in the northernmost isles,\nLive the Ainu. Indigenous styles\nInclude earrings and ink\nAnd more hair than you'd think.\nGod's in nature \u2014 they pray through life's trials.", "id": 2893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "He approached her, forgetting his fear.\n\"You resemble auricula, dear.\"\nThe blonde blushed in disgrace,\nSlapped him hard on the face,\nFor she thought he was mocking her ear.", "id": 2894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "When the lungs of a newborn need aid,\nOr a miner takes on a blue shade,\nUse an aerophore, then\nBoth will breathe free again\nWith this gadget that divers had made.", "id": 2895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "pbartleby", "limerick": "If students of Mendel are right,\nWhen particular parents unite,\nA recessive mutation\nKills pigment creation;\nFor albinism colors hair white.", "id": 2896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Affinity groups on the net\nAre those who share interests and whet\nA desire to learn\nAll about a concern,\nAnd a few meet in person, I'd bet.", "id": 2897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "No one else was as cute in those ears\u2014\nEven now, though it's been many years.\nOur Mouseketeer friend,\nDear Annette, let us send\nAll good thoughts for your health, from your peers.", "id": 2898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Automats went out of fashion \u2014\nToo bad! When you put all your cash in,\nA window sprang open.\nEyes wide, you were hopin'\nYour nickels fulfilled your pie passion.", "id": 2899, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Anorexia patients don't eat\u2014\nWell, just barely, but really they cheat\u2014\nCalling one grape a lunch,\nAnd their friends have a hunch\nThat they mostly eschew all their meat.", "id": 2900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Acquaintanceship gives you no right\nTo demand I consider your plight.\nWe are not really friends\nAnd your problem transcends\nMy concern, which is really quite slight.", "id": 2901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "There's an issue on which few are mum:\nAbortion (the thought makes me glum).\nThere are those who'd suspend it\nWhile others contend it\nIs private, an option for some.", "id": 2902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "On Anguilla I loaf in the sun;\nMight snorkel or go for a run.\nOr not\u2014what's the rush?\n'Sides, this beachhouse is plush\nAnd this pineapple daiquiri? Fun!", "id": 2903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Most apocryphal tales aren't true,\nLike some emails friends forward to you.\nFull of warnings most dire,\nThey just rouse your ire\u2014\nUrban legends, recycled, not new.", "id": 2904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach and mino", "limerick": "At a party, a donkey's pinned tail\nMissed its mark, landing far beyond the pale.\nIt was said to append\nTo a lass in South Bend\nWho relayed it back asswards by mail.", "id": 2905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An acquired taste first seems quite foul,\nLike liver to some; makes 'em scowl.\nBut once they discover\nThey've turned liver lover,\nOne whiff and their tummies will growl.", "id": 2906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Arabica beans are the best;\nA coffee variety blessed\nWith a rich, deep dark taste.\nCaffeine addicts are braced\nAnd drink it as if they're obsessed.", "id": 2907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With bad zits, it won't help to complain,\nBut this acne\u2014oy vey, what a pain!\nThe prom is next week;\nGuess I'll go with some geek.\nBut  dance cheek-to-cheek? I'll abstain.", "id": 2908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Abominable Snowman's his name,\nAnd you'll find Himalayans who claim\nThat this Yeti's the worst\u2014\nHe's both smelly and cursed,\nAnd whatever goes wrong, he's to blame.", "id": 2909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A ninety-pound weakling once said,\n\"You bully!  Kick sand and you're dead!\"\nBut until he built muscles\nTo win future tussles,\nCharles Atlas's threats caused no dread.", "id": 2910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Walking in, he said, \"I need a bed\nWhere I'll screw lots of babes I won't wed.\"\nAvid salesgirl I am,\nStill, this posed quite a jam.\nSo I sold him a loveseat instead.", "id": 2911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bad drivers assigned to a pool\nAs assigned risks will find out just who'll\nInsure them for more\nThan they coughed up before\nSince, alas, they crashed into a school.", "id": 2912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A buttery battery bakery,\nSelling me fattening cakery:\nCalorie curious?\nAngry and furious!\nScandalous labeling fakery!", "id": 2913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Hellish Auschwitz \u2014 that infamous spot\nWhere a million were starved, gassed, or shot.\nOn our history's broad page,\nThis nefarious stage\nWill forever remain a black blot.", "id": 2914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The costume with baubles was packed;\nWith gems it was fronted and backed.\nIt had spangles galore,\nYet they added one more:\nAn accessory after the fact.", "id": 2915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Accentual poetry's based\nOn the spots where the stresses are placed:\nThat means syllable strength,\nNot just number or length\u2014\nThis lim'rick will give you a taste.", "id": 2916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Come and buy my all-purpose device!\nGuaranteed to oblige in a trice!\nYes, whatever you need,\nIt'll do at great speed.\nIt's a steal, folks, at triple the price!", "id": 2917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "\"It once was a missile,\" he said,\n\"'Twas intended to render you dead.\"\nBut he'd also avow\nThat an arrow is now\nJust a pointer, not something to dread.", "id": 2918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Emmanuel student, Darius,\nDisported an aulary bias.\nAll things apropos\nOf his hall made him glow:\nHis devotion to Emma was pious.", "id": 2919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I asink into drink when I'm drunk.\nI bethink that I sank; I was sunk.\nSo asonken was I\nThat I wanted to cry!\nI went plinkety, plonkety, plunk.", "id": 2920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Soft-voiced actors were not very audible.\nTheir performances, deemed unapplaudable,\nMade the audience mad,\nAs they felt they'd been had,\nSo they booed them as wholly unlaudable.", "id": 2922, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am proud to be average and seen\nNot as short, not as tall, but between,\nNot too open or shut,\nNot too old or young, but\nJust don't tell me that average means \"mean.\"", "id": 2923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An old algolagniac said,\n\"I'm for torturing women in bed!\"\nHis name was de Sade,\nAnd I thought him quite odd,\nSo I spoke of the weather instead.", "id": 2924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "When the autotroph came on the run,\nHe cried out, \"What's for lunch, honey bun?\"\nSo his wife said, \"My dear,\nSame as always, I fear:\nCO2, H2O, and the sun.\"", "id": 2925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "To administrate means to deduce\nHow to run things and make them produce.\nBut when doing accounts,\nBe quite sure of amounts,\nOr investors will kick your caboose.", "id": 2926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When abracadabra is heard,\nA red scarf may become a white bird,\nOr a rabbit appear,\nOr a coin from your ear.\nIt's a magical spell-binding word.", "id": 2927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Barber", "limerick": "Disorganized books oft will spawn\nFinancial reports frowned upon.\nBe accountancy bad,\nUncle Sam might get mad,\nAnd the feds could invade like G. Khan!", "id": 2928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Be you human or canine or camel\nYour ameloblasts make enamel;\nThus the teeth in your mouth\nRight and left, north and south,\nHave some apatite\u2014if you're a mammal.", "id": 2929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I'm currently writing a paper\nOn mimesis where simians caper:\nFor a source, I have tapes\nOf what happens when apes\nAre caught apishly aping an aper.", "id": 2930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Add an \"arr\" to the mix that you speak,\nIf a piratey sound you would seek.\nA \"matey\" works too,\nOr just \"mate\"\u2014to review:\nJust say, \"Arr, me mate's carrr sprang a leak.\"", "id": 2931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "My arteries sure got inflamed!\nI consulted a doctor acclaimed.\nLooking up, he said, \"My,\nArteritis. No lie.\"\n\"So fix me up fast!\" I exclaimed.", "id": 2932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A curvy young airling from Wales\nApplied for a job tracking sales.\nWhen asked, \"Can you file?\"\nShe proceeded to smile,\nAnd to hold up ten pretty red nails.", "id": 2933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Affectionateness is a virtue\nTo which I would like to alert you.\nIt's rather like gin:\nToo much does you in,\nBut I don't think a little would hurt you.", "id": 2934, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "When my ditties were failing pathetically,\nI was told I should think arithmetically.\nThey said, \"Count out the meter,\nSo the verses run sweeter\":\nMeter rules are the yardstick, poetically.", "id": 2935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "With a mischievous gleam in his eye,\nThe Old Wag thumbs his nose to imply\nThat his archness is meant\nTo foment some dissent.\nHe delights in the loud hue and cry.", "id": 2936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In a chat with a wrestler named Claude,\nI remarked, \"In the States we applaud\nHow you time and again\nCan pin so many men!\nHave you ever, though, wrestled abroad?\"", "id": 2938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although life is with color ablaze,\nAchromatopsia kills these displays.\nIt's a curse, you'll agree,\nSince the most you will see\nIs a world filled with whites, blacks, and grays.", "id": 2939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An ardent young gravedigger, Dirk,\nLoved Mrs. Elizabeth Burke,\nBut, meeting rejection,\nSuccumbed to dejection,\nAnd threw himself into his work.", "id": 2940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ed Wood had a hidden agenda\nWhen he starred in his film Glen or Glenda.\nHe appeared in pastels\nAnd was no Orson Welles\nBut, like Brando, coulda been a contenda.", "id": 2941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Address harvester\u2014That's what I am.\nYou don't like it?  I don't give a damn!\nYou ask what I do?\nI find people like you\nOn the net who don't get enough spam!", "id": 2942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Augustinianism per se\nWas monastically hip in its day.\nAll the monks put their trust in\nThe great St. Augustine,\nThe Bishop of Hippo, hurray!", "id": 2943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Tell me how many atoms you'll see\nIn one mole? Avogadro's the key:\nIt's a number vaudevillian\u2014\nSix hundred sextillion!\u2014\nThat makes PV equal RT.", "id": 2944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Avignon is a town in Provence\nWhere the pope made his home (for the nonce).\nIt's got three charming palaces,\nMuseums with chalices,\nAnd boasts the most famous of ponts!", "id": 2945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"All clear\" is the signal he can\nEmerge from his hideout and scan\nTo see danger has passed.\nHe escaped our vast blast,\nDrat his luck and his well thought-out plan.", "id": 2946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In a practice or office or school,\nAssistants help out, as a rule,\nWhile associates claim\nHigher status by name\nAnd consider rote chores quite uncool.", "id": 2947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Beware, girls: your lashes aflutter\nLead from flirting straight into the gutter.\nHe'll think that you're easy,\nYour morals are sleazy,\nUnless \"It's an eye tic,\" you mutter.", "id": 2948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It seems acronyms thrive on the Net.\nWe've not witnessed the end of them yet.\nThey're words formed by nerds\nThat cluster like herds,\nCode standing for\u2014um, I forget.", "id": 2949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My bride-to-be smiled at me, charmingly.\nShe nuzzled my cheek quite disarmingly.\nWhen she spotted my brother,\nHer look at that other\nSent signals to me, quite alarmingly.", "id": 2950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her assets she  manages  well.\nHer portfolio casts quite a spell.\nHer stocks always rise\nAnd so,  in his eyes,\nShe could cause his investments to swell.", "id": 2951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the A.M., this coffee I hate,\nSince its flavor is clearly third-rate:\nMotor oil, with the taste\nOf industrial waste.\nBut it's great when I'm staying up late!", "id": 2952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Your apelike behavior is rude,\nYour conduct is frequently lewd.\nBut I shouldn't compare\nYou with apes\u2014that's not fair.\nThey're honest and loyal\u2014you're crude.", "id": 2953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When mountains in frosty high places\nSee the sun going into dark spaces,\nOr, after long dark,\nSee the quickening spark,\nThen the alpenglow ruddies their faces.", "id": 2954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Amphisbaenidae slither and squirm,\nFor such lizards lack limbs, like a worm.\nThough these squamates aren't snakes,\nIt would still give you shakes\nIf you found one coiled up in your perm.", "id": 2955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Amalgam's convenient, I'm sure,\nTo make dental repairs that endure,\nBut its mercury's not\nStuff I relish a lot.\nI'd prefer the disease to this cure.", "id": 2956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "A policeman's lot isn't a happy one,\nSays the song, though some think it a sappy one.\nBut to be arrestee\nWould be worse, so I'll flee.\n(If I'm caught, make my pardon a snappy one.)", "id": 2957, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A scientist (mad!) had some fun\nWith a daughter of his, and a son.\n  He accreted their brains,\n  Fused the skin, twined the veins,\nBecause two heads are better as one.", "id": 2958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "My wife's mother is voiceless, aphonic\n(A condition which might become chronic\nIf I'm lucky). Does bliss\nGet much better than this?\nWell, she might contract something bubonic.", "id": 2959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My shoes stink\u2014you've told me so, twice.\nThey're musty.  It's not very nice.\nActive charcoal does well\nAt adsorbing the smell,\nBut it won't help get rid of the mice.", "id": 2961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My marriage seems terribly dull.\nI'm bored simply out of my skull.\nWhen I want stimulation,\nThe result is frustration.\nPerhaps now's the time to annul.", "id": 2962, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The pit bull's a worrisome breed\nWhen he's taught to make other dogs bleed.\nHe's not like a merrier\nFrisky young terrier.\nHis trainer responded to greed.", "id": 2964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "Avast! While it's no interjection\n(Rather, proving a verb on inspection),\nIt's the right thing to shout\nWhen you mean \"cut that out!\"\nAnd pirating's your predilection.", "id": 2965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach and LoudNotes", "limerick": "Aaron's sons, kohanim of the Jews,\nWore sashes in purple-blue hues.\nPriestly vestments round waists,\nThese abnets were placed\nTo be holy\u2014but priests all skipped shoes.", "id": 2966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Affirmatively, some schools let in\nThose excluded because of their skin\nTo make up for the past,\nWhile some others, aghast,\nHave declared \"reverse quotas\" a sin.", "id": 2967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "If there's aught that one ought to be taught,\nIt's  the true definition of aught.\nIt means \"anything; something,\"\nWhich may be a rum thing\nTo those who confuse it with naught.", "id": 2968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Altitudinous places are fine\nBut this beach-fronted mansion's divine.\nIts loftiness lies\nIn my mortgage's size\nAnd stuck-uppity neighbors of mine.", "id": 2969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Adrift in the waves on the beach\nWas a beachball  I couldn't quite reach.\nEach time that I tried,\nA wave swept me aside\nAnd my toddler let out a sharp screech.", "id": 2970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Said an old Anglo-Catholic from Derry,\n\"It is most meet and right to be wary\nOf placing more stress\nOn our Protestant-ness\nThan we do on the incense and Mary.\"", "id": 2971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Advantage: position superior\nTo opponents, who thus have inferior\nResources or skill;\nSo you, with a will,\nMay apply toe of boot to posterior.", "id": 2972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Picture spending your time on the run,\nShooting shells from a fifty-pound gun\nAt some other poor slob\nWith a similar job:\nAn artilleryman's life ain't much fun.", "id": 2973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "My American friend known as Lucho\nSpeaks no English, or not very mucho.\nThis may come as a blow\nTo all those who don't know\nThat he lives in Peru (Ayacucho).", "id": 2974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "When leaving the scene, you should maybe\nSay something, though trite the clich\u00e9 be:\n \"Au revoir\" or \"Farewell\"\nOr  \"Goodbye, it's been swell,\"\nEven \"Hasta la vista there, baby.\"", "id": 2975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"There's only one cure,\" said the doc.\n\"You don't need 'em, they're just so much schlock.\nHave an adenoidectomy.\"\n\"Those glands don't mean heck to me,\"\nI agreed, \"But the cost is a shock.\"", "id": 2976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Though flat and quite lacking in trees,\nAruba's charms usually  please.\nIts seas of blue-green\nAre so warm and serene,\nAnd its tradewinds assure a nice breeze.", "id": 2977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If you want to get something affixed,\nTry cement, paste, or tape, or all mixed.\nWhen things won't adhere,\nKeep Krazy Glue near,\nBut you must keep your fingers unsticks'd.", "id": 2978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Anecdotally,\" Doctor Ken said,\n\"There are herbs that just might stem the spread\nOf that pain, but what's best\nIs a double-blind test\nTo prove that they work, 'fore you're dead.\"", "id": 2979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and speedysnail", "limerick": "It's more than the sound of a schwa\u2014\nThough not as robust as \"Aha!\"\u2014\nAnd often expressed\nAt the sight of a breast\nWhen a lip-licking infant says, \"Ahhhhh!\"", "id": 2980, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's for those who lack all gardening skill.\nIt cares not if it's warm or it's chill.\nIt'll grow in full shade\nIn a house or a glade.\nAspidistra\u2014the plant you can't kill.", "id": 2982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Since he thought way outside box or bubble,\nNASA honored astronomer Hubble\nWith a peerless new 'scope\t\t\t\nYielding stargazers hope\u2014\nAstronomically, well worth the trouble.", "id": 2983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In my garden a lady resides;\nShe's naked and fragrant besides.\nHer looks always thrill us;\nShe's called Amaryllis\nBelladonna, a bulb which divides.", "id": 2984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An abbot inhabits an abbey;\nHe's the boss of the place\u2014not too shabby.\nHe goes by one name,\nAnd his monks would proclaim\nHe's devoted, devout, and not gabby.", "id": 2985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My threshold of pain don't exploit;\nWhen you measure mine, please be adroit.\nAs it presses on skin,\nThat algometer kin\nTell exactly how much I will hoit.", "id": 2986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His roommates? About to combust;\nHis attitude triggers disgust.\nWhen he said that the world\nSpins around him, they hurled.\nAttitud'nally, he'd better adjust.", "id": 2987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His shoulders are weary from carrying\nA burden that's large and unvarying.\nGreat Atlas the Titan,\nThe heavens might lighten\nA bit, while Pleione you're marrying.", "id": 2988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Peruvian lilies ain't funny;\nThey're posies, oft bought for one's honey.\nAlstroemeria blooms\nCan brighten up rooms\nBut not wallets; they cost too much money.", "id": 2989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A toddlers' treat, oh so delicious\u2014\nFor any age, really nutritious.\nBeloved on latkes,\nThough not on a yacht cuz\nBarfed applesauce really looks vicious.", "id": 2990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Arthur Murray's can teach you to dance\nIf it's romance you want to enhance.\nYou can samba and swing,\nBut it don't mean a thing\nIf you ain't got a suave ballroom stance.", "id": 2991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In a foxhole, some say, there are none.\n\"Wrong,\" say atheists, faced with a gun.\n\"We worship no god,\nAnd find it quite odd\nThat each side claims 'he' helped when they won.\"", "id": 2992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He's actually thin; he's disguised\u2014\nOver there by the suits, big men's sized.\nLet's move in\u2014he won't charge.\nHe's too long been at large.\nWhen we nab him, will he be surprised!", "id": 2993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "While snacking on chips outside Guffey,\nI ate too much salt and got puffy.\nMy face looked a mess,\nAnd I have to confess,\nThese aldosterone spikes leave me huffy.", "id": 2994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An army brat  once said to me,\n\"Yeah, we moved a lot; Dad would agree.\nI loved sixth grade in Maine\u2014\nEven seventh in Spain\u2014\nBut it's hard to keep friends you don't see.\"", "id": 2995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her willowy arms flutter slightly,\nHer feathered white head drops down lightly.\nAlas for Odette,\nMen who love soon forget.\nThus, she's dying in Swan Lake once nightly.", "id": 2996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "Said the convict regarding his cell,\n\"I won't acclimate here very well.\nI will never adjust\nTo the damp or the dust\nOr the winks of my cellmate from Hell.\"", "id": 2998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Her hair is both silky and curly;\nHer figure, decidedly girly.\nBut what ruins it all\nFor the fellows who fall\nIs her attitude: grumpy and surly.", "id": 2999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "It's a term that I'm certain you've heard,\nAn occasion that's often occurred,\nWhen a thought to amend\nIs tacked onto the end.\n...\n\u2014Oh: it's afterthought\u2014that was the word.", "id": 3000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I must get a new apparatus\nTo silence my old doggie flatus.\nFor the smell there's no quibbling\u2014\nI'll just blame a sibling\u2014\nBut stealth would insure my top status.", "id": 3001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm uncertain just what I should do.\nI might come, or might go, or just rue\nMy whole life up to now \u2014\nI could change it, but how?\nAre you this ambivalent, too?", "id": 3002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The washer was broken one day;\nThe clothes agitated away.\nThe water kept churning\nWhilst I was discerning\nThe whopping repair bill I'd pay.", "id": 3003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Rare rhinos, one-horned, still are seen\nIn an Indian state lush and green.\nAssam's also  well known\nFor fine tea garden-grown;\nJust one cup and you'll feel more serene.", "id": 3004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Acapulco: we're there by the bay\nSunning topless, when to our dismay\nSome dude in a thong\nTakes our picture (so wrong!),\nThen he says, \"I take Visa, okay?\"", "id": 3005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "When it's cold as can physically be,\nYou'll see zero in Kelvin's degree.\nUnder Fahrenheit's line\nIt's a whole four-five-nine,\nAnd in Celsius two-seven-three.", "id": 3006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When a corpse must be studied for clues,\nTo the press the demise could be news.\nBut the coroner quotes\nFrom his autopsy notes,\n\"No foul play.\" (And no story\u2014'twas booze!)", "id": 3007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "\"To make greater in size or extent\"\u2014\nThat is just what it means to augment.\nBut as some things expand,\nThey get way out of hand.\nThat's why lies seldom end as you meant.", "id": 3008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In a future that's cashless, you see,\nDeals are debit, or credit, or free.\nSo, rewards we will earn,\nBut sans money to burn,\nIt's an \"ashless\" economy, oui?", "id": 3009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "To create the archetypical thriller,\nMr. Hitchcock devised that the killer\nShould mostly be clever\nAnd above all should never\nBe played by an actor named Stiller.", "id": 3010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Histrionically blessed is the dame   \t\t\t\t\t\nWho achieves some small measure of fame\nThrough actressy parts\nWhere she shows off her arts\nAnd thus wins herself critics' acclaim.", "id": 3011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Aquarelle's watercolor to you,\nA drawing, transparent in hue.\nA wash for the sky\nDoesn't take long to dry,\nBut I'm adding a touch more dark blue.", "id": 3012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Your authorized bio's a mess,\"\nThe editor said in  distress.\n\"The public wants scandal;\nNow, that we can handle\u2014\nPlease think up more sin to confess.\"", "id": 3013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His pommel horse moves were sublime;\nHis still rings were just about prime.\nHe built up his status\nOn each apparatus\nTill parallel bars: not this time.", "id": 3014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The clerk asked, \"Just grass seed? You're sure?\"\nI nodded, \"My lawn must endure.\"\nBut before I got far,\nI ran back from my car:\n\"As an afterthought, give me manure.\"", "id": 3015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Adult movies attempt to arouse\nThe . . . ah . . . interest of viewers who browse\nMovie titles quite racy,\nWith babes dressed all lacy\nWho moan lots of yeses and nows.", "id": 3016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Antioxidant foods on my plate\nI devour, to try to abate\nAll signs of my age\nBy which people could gauge\nThat I'm eighty (but look sixty-eight).", "id": 3017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The boy who cried wolf is a type\nOf alarmist who often will hype\nFairly slight threats as great,\nLeaving towns so irate\nThat they shrug off real warnings as tripe.", "id": 3018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "All asteroids circle the sun;\nI hoped for a chunk but got none.\nWhen they crash to the earth,\nNo matter their girth,\nThey're meteorites\u2014rocks on the run.", "id": 3019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Right after the perp chose to flee,\nStations broadcast the cops' APB,\n'Cause the car the crook stole\n(Though it wasn't his goal)\nHeld a baby who napped through his spree.", "id": 3020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "This waiver I signed proves I know\nThe aforementioned risks that could blow\nMy adventure to hell,\nBut this trip sounds so swell!\nOn second thought . . . better not go.", "id": 3021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I'm flexing my feet just a little\nTo make amphibrach answer a riddle:\n\"What's the word for a foot\nWith three parts where you put\nYour main force or your weight in the middle?\"", "id": 3022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An adventurous gal, name of Ruth,\nConquered mountains, took lovers, turned sleuth.\nAll the wild things she'd done\nWell before twenty-one\nHad scandalized half of Duluth.", "id": 3023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Anonymous,\" prolific in rhyme,\nWas deprived of a credit each time.\nA donor as well,\nShe admired Nobel\nBut left namings to Sol Guggenheim.", "id": 3024, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Alpheus, in love, goes all out\nFor a nymph who's turned into a spout.\nSeems they find fun new uses\nFor bodily juices \u2014\nWe've guessed, Alphie, what it's about.", "id": 3025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My Dad doesn't like what's on top a'\nOur outhouse: a roof of new copper.\nHe said, \"But I do go\nFor roofs of aerugo;\nIf Mum tries to clean it, you stop 'er.\"", "id": 3026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you reckon that pain wouldn't kill ya?\nIt's likely you've got algophilia.\nYou think you'd go ouch?\nAlgophobic, I'd vouch.\nNow hand me those nipple clamps, will ya?", "id": 3027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I apologise, right? Yeah, I'm sorry.\nI regret having caused you such worry.\nI'm remorseful. Contrite.\nIt was dark out at night\nWhen I flattened your cat with my lorry.", "id": 3028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Anatomy studies our forms\nTo assess all our structural norms,\"\nSaid the prof. \"Bods predict\nHow our destiny's picked:\nGirls, you're 'hots';  guys, you're barely 'lukewarms.'\"", "id": 3029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As he stated, \"This won't hurt at all,\nSince the needles are really quite small,\"\nMy acupuncturist aimed\nAnd\u2014surprise!\u2014as he claimed,\nIt was truly a painless install.", "id": 3030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "To measure a current, you're beckoned\nThe ampere to use, once you've reckoned\nThe watts to each volt\nIn a poult-moulting jolt,\nWhich equals the coulombs per second.", "id": 3031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An asinine dad from Eau Claire\nKept tossing his babe in the air.\nWhen scolded, he blared,\n\"My baby's not scared:\nShe thinks she's a pilot up there.\"", "id": 3032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Isn't architectonic akin\nTo the plates underneath the earth's skin?\nOr\u2014now, this is conjectural\u2014\nWhat architectural\nTypes like to drink with their gin?", "id": 3033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Up high on the dry altiplano\nThere was nothing to nibble but guano,\nWhich wasn't much fun\nIn the Andean sun,\nBut was better with shredded Romano.", "id": 3034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The run-of-the-mill resurrectant\nIs normally very amplectant:\nAt support he must clasp\nWith a tendrilly grasp,\nAnd of falling back down is expectant.", "id": 3035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I placed a small self-contained flat,\nEfficient and \"green,\" on the plat.\nAfter feasting their eyes,\nThe arcology guys\nSaw the prize: \"Can we city-size that?\"", "id": 3036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The receivable side of accounts\nExpects money in varied amounts\u2014\nBy a check, cash, or charge.\nWhen a balance is large,\nSome may even take gold by the ounce.", "id": 3037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though she made aliyah last July,\nEsther found Tel Aviv much too dry.\nNow she plans to convert\nAnd go live in a yurt,\nTo give Inner Mongolia a try.", "id": 3038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge and Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Aichmophobia's common in tots\nAs the nurse is preparing their shots.\nThough the jabbing is quick,\nStill, they're spooked by the prick,\nBut it's better than swellings and spots.", "id": 3039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "This rhyme's now the authorized version.\nYour meddling will seem an incursion.\nDo not fold, do not swindle,\nDo not steal, do not spindle\u2014\nOur approval's by total immersion.", "id": 3040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Recalling the names of those men\nWho were sent off to space way back when:\nOf the astronauts flown\nWho's the sharpest we've known?\nI'd say Mercury pilot John Glenn.", "id": 3041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I accorded the lady my arm;\nShe accorded her smile and her charm.\n  I accorded my hand\n  Her prohibited land;\nShe accorded significant harm.", "id": 3042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If Cole Porter, instead of \"the top,\"\nHad exalted \"the apex\" to swap\nFor the phrase he enshrined\nIn the popular mind,\nAnything Goes would've been a big flop.", "id": 3043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The autoexemplified word\nIs a thrill for the lexical nerd.\nAdjectival with glee,\nHe adverbially\nVerbs the noun until gerund-ing's heard.", "id": 3044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When a factory came under assault,\nIts assembly line ground to a halt.\nYelled the boss, \"Don't you leave\nOr you'll all get the heave.\nThe union be damned\u2014it's default!\"", "id": 3045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Asian, you'll surely agree,\nIs a more concrete way to ID\nCertain folks than the old\nOriental; I'm sold\nOn its worth (plus it's way more PC).", "id": 3046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I live in a tiny apartment.\nMy bedroom is just a compartment.\nI need a small lawyer\n(Who'd fit in my foyer)\nTo complain to the housing department.", "id": 3047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "The expansion on football ideals\nMade the basketball fans scream appeals.\nEven three added teams\nCould not tarnish the dreams\nOf the ACC Champion Heels!", "id": 3048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Atamascos are one kind of lily,\nAnd they love 'em from Frisco to Philly.\nTheir blossoms are white.\nThey thrive in bright light.\nJust be sure that they don't get too chilly.", "id": 3049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "When you get an  arteriogram,\nIt will show if you eat too much Spam.\nIf you do, avoid breads\nWith high-calorie spreads,\nAnd do not eat that whole rack of lamb.", "id": 3050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Oh, the accent in music, it looks\nLike a V that was knocked down by crooks.\nWhat it says? \"Hit me hard!\nI don't care if I'm scarred!\nThe composer intends it, you schnooks!\"", "id": 3051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An angel once visited Hell\nTo toast marshmallows, charring them well.\nWhen Satan asked why,\nThere came the reply,\n\"'Cause I missed s'mores' great campfire smell.\"", "id": 3052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Some examples of current affairs\nAre the doings of Bushes and Blairs,\nNews of hostages missing,\nAnd senators kissing\nTheir secretaries under the stairs.", "id": 3053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Frenzied ministers' shrill exhortation,\nRabid right-wingers' sheer indignation,\nAnd the noise of their peers:\nThey're invading our ears\nWith their rude amplitude modulation.", "id": 3054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abstain means avoid or eschew\nEnjoyable practices you\nWould otherwise sample\n(Casual sex, for example) \u2014\nSo nice but so strictly taboo.", "id": 3055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Acapnotics, it's time to unite\nAnd battle for what is our right:\nTo breathe the fresh air,\nMake cigarettes rare,\nAnd keep smokers well out of our sight.", "id": 3056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "In bars kept deliberately dim\nYou might find your glass not abrim.\nThe barman takes pleasure\nIn giving short measure\nSince the money he steals goes to him.", "id": 3057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The condition that's known as amnesia\nIs a kind of a brain anaesthesia,\nSo when you reminisce\nAbout Tunis, you'd miss\nIt's the capital town of Tunisia.", "id": 3058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Acyclic means lacking in whirls\nOr circles and similar swirls.\nAn acyclic tail\nOn a peacock (the male)\nWould mean zilch to the peahens (the girls).", "id": 3059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "At the bar she purred, \"You're so attractive.\nI hope you don't mind;  I'm proactive.\"\n\"Not at all,\" he replied.\n\"As for kids, I'll confide\nThat my sperm are all radioactive.\"", "id": 3060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It's not quite according to Hoyle,\nBut let's soon set ourselves this new toil\u2014\nLet us rhyme Sherlock Holmes\nInto anapest tomes\nAs by Conan and Christopher Doyle.", "id": 3061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In election years some fail to vote,\nBored by hopefuls unworthy of note.\nBut not voting at all,\nThey have no right to squall\nAnd even less reason to gloat.", "id": 3062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "One neighbor's yard filled with debris;\nThe other's dog barked until three.\nNearly coming to blows,\nThey instead wisely chose\nADR\u2014mediation\u2014for free.", "id": 3063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With my lottery ticket in hand,\nI'm too anxious to sit; I must stand.\nWe could sure use the bucks\n('Cause our bank account sucks)\u2014\nNow if only we win that ten grand!", "id": 3064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I need to be fully absolved\nFrom verse in which I've been involved.\nIf I am forgiven,\nThen I may be driven\nTo rhymes that are p'raps more evolved.", "id": 3065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An asthmatic who lived up the stairs\nGrew short of breath carrying chairs.\nHis inhaler not seen,\nHe turned red, then blue-green.\nNow he buys his inhalers in pairs.", "id": 3066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In Pittsburgh I dated a Steeler\u2014\nThough appealing, a real wheeler-dealer.\nHe sometimes was sued\nFor acting quite lewd,\nBut he always got off, the appealer.", "id": 3067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In love, she yearns so to attach\nTo a charmer she thinks is a catch.\nStuck to him she would be\nBut attachment's not free;\nHe's a con man and not a good match.", "id": 3068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A person from northwestern France\n(Of Celtic extraction, by chance)\nOnce was known as Armoric.\nA fact most historic.\nThey probably wore funny pants.", "id": 3069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "You finish your singing and then,\nThe acroteleutic again.\nIts purpose is solely\nTo add something holy\nForever and ever. Amen.", "id": 3070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "A student of scriptures would see\nThat Ahiam's recorded to be\nOf the thirty so great\nWho breached Bethlehem's gate\n(2nd Sam. 23:33).", "id": 3071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Blade of stone? It's perhaps Aurignacian;\nIts edges reveal re-creation.\nIts birth-date must be\n30,000 BC,\nAnd it came from a French excavation.", "id": 3072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Am I Australoid? I often wonder;\nIt is true that I hail from Down Under.\nBut me mum is from Bali\nAnd me dad is from Mali,\nSo to call me Afrasian's no blunder.", "id": 3073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "A bonza thing happened today:\nAn ocker, 'e told me g'day.\nThat fair dinkum bloke,\n'E winked as 'e spoke\nThose Australianisms he'd say.", "id": 3074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Qermaq", "limerick": "Now, anchors are things meant for boats,\nDesigned to constrain where one floats.\nBut they also appear\nOn a web page; it's here\nThat they link to more pages and notes.", "id": 3075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Just a few little things to avoid:\nAn elephant, when it's annoyed;\nAny thug who shouts \"Oi!\"\nOr a horse made in Troy;\nThe last album or two by Pink Floyd.", "id": 3076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "There was a young woman named Nina,\nWhose holiday plans were between a\nSoothing trip to the sea,\nAnd a weekend to ski.\nThe place to get both?  Argentina!", "id": 3078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Our astronauts circled the earth\nTen years or so after my birth.\nAnd then pretty soon\nThey walked on the moon.\nFolks cheered them from Boston to Perth.", "id": 3079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer and speedysnail", "limerick": "Abreact can become cabaret:\nIt's an anagram, word experts say,\nLike  tardier/tarried,\nAdmirer and married.\nGo get your pen,  young protege!", "id": 3080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Raise your glasses in toast and cry, \"Prost!\"\nHere's to Amtrak; this railroad will boast,\nNorth and south, east and west,\nThat its routes are the best,\nAs it serves the U.S. coast to coast.", "id": 3081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If, during the course of lovemaking,\nYour paramour's heart you are breaking\nAnd some other guy\nComes and catches her eye,\nWell then this is the seat you'll be taking.", "id": 3082, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're brutal and cruel? You're barbarian.\nConspicuous wealth? You vulgarian!\nBut study all night\nGetting rudiments right?\nWell done! You're an abecedarian!", "id": 3083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "In aerophilately, rare\nVintage stamps are collected with care.\nSome are red, some are green,\nSome may feature a queen;\nAll were meant to be sent via air.", "id": 3084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The hills of the Apennine chain\nAttract most of Italy's rain.\nSo wear your fedora\nWhen with your signora,\nAlthough you'll look frightfully vain.", "id": 3085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Once in bed, he just couldn't resist\nAcrobatic positions.  He kissed\nEverywhere he could reach her,\nTill at last she cried, \"Seat your\nSelf down and try my kind of twist.\"", "id": 3086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A succulent-gardener I know\nLikes to bore through his plants and then throw\nThe poor things in the basement\nAnd joke of their placement:\n\"'Ello, 'ollow aloe alow!\"", "id": 3087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Why'd I fall through that #@%^ pane of glass?\nNow I'm dead \u2014 I am such a dumb @$$.\nSays Saint Pete, \"Your obscenities\nEarn you amenities \u2014\nYou're going to &*!!, but First Class.\"", "id": 3088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A dog on the beach in the dark\nStarted yelping, an earsplitting bark.\nA bivalve, it seems,\nHad gone to extremes\u2014\nSlamming shut on his nose:  Pup v. Ark.", "id": 3089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Algae allergy makes my face mottle.\nMy algologist date I will throttle:\nOur picnic was fine\nTill he said we must dine\nOn six seaweed pills, straight from the  bottle.", "id": 3090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My child, you're now post-adolescent,\nBut your parasitism's incessant.\nThis host (half facetiously)\nFears you'll autoeciously\nLive here until you're senescent.", "id": 3091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Most fears we should  try to allay.\nWhere to lay them, I really can't say.\nIf you put them to bed,\nThey might breed  'neath the spread\u2014\nA dilemma I'll just have to weigh.", "id": 3092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and SheilaB", "limerick": "He is regal and wise\u2014most august.\nShould the Senate so name him? They must!\nThen he'll pass on the name\nTo a month: lasting fame!\n(You're familiar with August, I trust?)", "id": 3093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Amoebiasis sounds so contrary:\nIt's when you contract dysentery.\nAmoebae go nuts\nWay down deep in your guts\nAnd you fear that they'll stay and make merry.", "id": 3094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "After losing his job, in lament he\nSaid, \"Agism? I have seen plenty.\n'Help wanted,' ads say,\n'Please apply here, today!'\nBut only for those who look twenty.\"", "id": 3095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A Scots word for a is an ae;\nIt means one.  When said twice, it's ae ae.\nIt's a plant bearing fruits\u2014\nRare bananas, real beauts.\nThey're Hawaiian; I'll grow 'em someday.", "id": 3096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My allowance is not quite enough\nTo buy all the various stuff\nThat I want and I need!\n(Don't accuse me of greed\u2014\nUnderfinancing, Dad, is real tough.)", "id": 3097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A niente means \"melting away\nInto nothingness\"; all that will stay\nIs the sad echoes' bleak\nDying gasp (or the squeak\nAs your bow or your cords cease to play).", "id": 3098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Albuminiparous: making albumin.\nIt applies to both hen and to human,\nFrom Zsa Zsa Gabor\nTo the late Dinah Shore,\nEven President Harry S Truman.", "id": 3099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If you're thinking your house is a bore,\nAnd owning it feels like a chore,\nTransfer title to me\n(I'm the alienee),\nAnd then you'll be the alienor.", "id": 3100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The OEDILF often gets an addition\nFrom writers who share Chris's mission.\nThey add poems online,\nTell their friends, \"Look at mine!\nDoncha think I got great erudition?\"", "id": 3101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A gardener who liked his skin sallow\nPlanted herbs where the land had been fallow.\nWhen a sunburn appeared,\nOn his red skin he smeared\nSoothing gel from the leaf of an aloe.", "id": 3102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An armature furnishes shape,\nAnd upon it a sculptor will drape\nMaybe wax, maybe clay,\nIn adroit overlay\nTill his art leaves its viewers agape.", "id": 3103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A joint, like a knuckle, I spy,\nIs called an arthrosis. No lie!\nThe word also points\nTo disease in those joints\nWhich gradually makes you less spry.", "id": 3104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Well, a fungus, if hitching a trip,\nWill adhere with a thick flattened tip.\nHyphal branch will attach\n(Appressorium, natch!),\nAnd it clutches so tight, it won't slip.", "id": 3105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "So brief is my span of attention,\nI can't track things from mention to mention,\nAnd what seems to be new\nIs but true d\u00e9\u2014wait, who\nAre\u2014Hey, pamphlets on fire prevention!", "id": 3106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An alley for bowling is made\nFor a number of games that are played\nBy rolling a ball\nDown a lane, I recall,\nWhere it knocks down some pins they've arrayed.", "id": 3107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I once knew a fellow called Seth,\nWho claimed he'd experienced death,\nBut he may well have meant\nAn apneic event\u2014\nJust a brief interruption of breath.", "id": 3108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Your auditory tube's in your ear.\nIt's to equalise pressure, that's clear.\nIf it's blocked by a cold\nAnd you're diving, I'm told,\nWhen you surface you'll find you can't hear!", "id": 3109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "\"If you're living, they call you alive,\nA condition toward which you should strive,\"\nWise old Granddaddy said,\n\"For, my boy, when you're dead\nYou will find it a challenge to thrive.\"", "id": 3110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Take agammaglobulinemia:\nThere isn't a malady dreamier.\nOne's blood is without\nAntibodies, no doubt,\nBut it beats getting bloody leukemia.", "id": 3111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A junta decided it rational\nTo take a few cues from a passional,\nGranting amnesty to\nAll those prisoners who\nWere attracting support international.", "id": 3112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It was covered with lights \u2014 how they strobed!\nAnd like angels they were, all enrobed.\nIt was too much to bear!\nWe were raptured in prayer...\nWell, until we were anally probed.", "id": 3113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's an all-around wonderful guy:\nHe can swim, he can drive, he can fly;\nHas the world in his head;\nHe's amazing in bed...\nHow I wish that he'd curl up and die.", "id": 3114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To arabize, make like an Arab:\nEat oranges, couscous, and carob.\nSpend time in the sun;\nWear a headdress\u2014it's fun!\n(But no animal charms, like a scarab.)", "id": 3115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Old King Atreus had all sorts of fun\nDoing things that just shouldn't be done,\nSuch as taking the life\nOf Aerope, his wife,\nAnd boiling his own brother's son.", "id": 3116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "'Twas a basketball playoff exchange,\nWith behavior that bordered on strange\nBy a Hawk in the post,\nLike a tree (more than most).\nArborescent, he bit Danny Ainge.", "id": 3117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Long before Epicurus professed,\n\"Live for now; let your lust be the test,\"\nAristippus made pleasure\nHis primary measure,\nExpressing the blessings of zest.", "id": 3118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Whose autobiography states\nThat \"Apples\" are something he hates?\nHe dropped out of college,\nWith only his knowledge\nOf software.  Of course\u2014it's Bill Gates!", "id": 3119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You are sometimes invaded by germs\nOr a virus, your doctor confirms,\nBut parasites too\nCan intrude upon you,\nE.g. ascarids (nematode worms).", "id": 3120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My vines are a powdery mess;\nIt's oidium mildew, I guess.\nIf this arthrospore pest\nWere no longer my guest,\nThen my vineyard might be a success.", "id": 3121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "In the forest an herb you may find\nWhich, by all but old wives, is maligned.\nBut athelas brings,\nIn the hands of true kings,\nA healing of body and mind.", "id": 3122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Akhenaten turned monotheistic,\nAnd his sculptors seem somewhat sadistic:\nThough that babe Nefertiti\nWas surely his sweetie,\nThey still rendered him feministic.", "id": 3123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "You've come up to the attic tonight,\nUnder rafters where spiders will bite.\nGhosts and goblins appear,\nAnd you're quaking with fear.\nHurry up now and turn on the light!", "id": 3124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "My web server now is Apache;\nThe service before was quite scratchy.\nThe code's Open Source\nWhich is better, of course,\nAnd what's more it's a name that's quite catchy.", "id": 3125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A violin maker of fame,\nAmati was heard to exclaim,\n\"Violins made by Strad\n(An intelligent lad!)\nMay someday put my work to shame.\"", "id": 3126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I have pain along nerves. (That's neuralgic.)\nMy joints have it, too. (That's arthralgic.)\nBut the worst hurt of all\nIs the wistful recall\nOf the days before pains. (That's nostalgic.)", "id": 3127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "My friend said to me, of the Army,\n\"The drill sergeants feather and tar me!\nA conflict I pray fer!\nI think I'd be safer\u2014\nMy own are more likely to harm me!\"", "id": 3128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Leaves of aloes will heal irritation,\nBut aloin clears constipation.\nToo much of this brew\n(Made from aloe plants too)\nCalls for aloe in swift application.", "id": 3129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "When accretive, things build by addition,\nLike gradual silt deposition\nAnd wives, post divorce\n(Despite husbands, of course,\nFirmly voicing their strong opposition).", "id": 3130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Which defines an Apachean best?\nIt's an Indian tribesman out west.\nIt's a tongue he might speak\nOr (perhaps this is chic)\nA French gangster. (C'est vrai! I don't jest!)", "id": 3131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Most adaw* in the morn, or aday.\n(*That's \"to rise,\" in the old-fashioned way.)\nThose nocturnal, like bats,\nWake anight, as do frats\nTo go party at UCLA.", "id": 3132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Aphaeretic are words such as bound,\nOnce abound has thus dropped its lead sound.\nSo raccoon becomes coon,\nAnd attune becomes tune.\nUnderground, dropping two, becomes ground.", "id": 3133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Said the Birdman to Officer Brauna,\n\"This cell block, it feels like a sauna.\nI'm here a long time,\nBut these birds did no crime.\nWhy the lockdown to clean avifauna?\"", "id": 3134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Now we come to our best item yet.\nPlace a bid on this nice bassinet!\nIt's authentic Peruvian\nAntediluvian\nWicker. And look, it's still wet!", "id": 3135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I've averaged data points when\nI've divided their total by n.\nAnd I've done that, at peak,\nTwenty times in a week,\nBut I've averaged seven to ten.", "id": 3136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The automatist's very emphatic\nThat our actions are all automatic.\nBut if he's correct\nAbout cause-and-effect,\nThen why's our behavior erratic?", "id": 3137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Albigensianism's mistake:\nTo say Christ's incarnation was fake,\nAnd that matter was bad.\nWhat a dualist fad!\nThey might have been burned at the stake!", "id": 3138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Aker's job is just not very hard\u2014\nOccupation: security guard.\nAt the underworld's gates,\nAker sits. And he waits.\nAnd whose entry, exactly, is barred?", "id": 3139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In Calvinist Holland, contrarians\nStarted challenging predestinarians.\nIn so doing, a schism\u2014\nArminianism\u2014\nOccurred. (Thank you, reference librarians!)", "id": 3140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A professor who hailed from St. Paul,\nFully tenured before she could crawl,\nWas a prodigy. She\nEarned her first Ph.D.\nAntenatally, as I recall.", "id": 3141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Antismoking? You bet. Yes, it's true.\nIt's disgusting and rude, in my view.\nBut I'm not some dumb wacko\nWho's antitobacco.\nI don't mind the kind you can chew.", "id": 3142, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Through the treetops, their howls will relay.\nSouth American monkeys are they \u2014\nSometimes called alouatte,\nIf you'd like to do that.\nAlouatta's more common, I'd say.", "id": 3143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "I'm avenged for my injury past,\nFor which payback was given at last.\nShe'd kissed Mike at the bar,\nSo I cracked up her car.\n(She's avenged too \u2014 my leg's in a cast.)", "id": 3144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "There are Native Americans who\nAre Algonquin. More names? They've a few.\nTry Algonkian or\nThere's Algonkin. One more:\nHow's Algonquian fit your canoe?", "id": 3145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "I'm impressed and  I feel it my duty\nTo describe a small beast that's a beauty:\nNocturnal and quiet,\nHerbivorous diet,\nAnd its name?  Why, they call it agouti.", "id": 3146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "In the arts, there are those, avant-garde,\nWho've done work so bizarre they've been barred.\nAlthough barring is bad\n(And unwise, I might add),\nStill, it beats being feathered and tarred.", "id": 3147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "The aardvark is shaped like a pillow\nAnd 'round it the dirt will oft billow,\nAs it digs in your shrubs\nFor its favorite grubs\u2014\nOh, wait, I've defined armadillo.", "id": 3148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "All the way is how far he will go\nDriving Route 66 from MO.\nBut when said girl-to-boy,\nHe'll get both kicks and joy,\nExpecting  the gift she'll bestow.", "id": 3149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His attention span short as can be,\nHe fought while he earned his degree.\nGaining impulse control,\nStaying mindful, his goal,\nHe succeeded despite ADD.", "id": 3150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her asinine date, as a joke,\nLocked her out when she went for a smoke.\nWhen she couldn't get in,\nShe let loose such a din\nThat he called 911, the dumb bloke.", "id": 3151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "The astrolabe, wondrous old tool,\nWas a star-checking, technical jewel.\nBut it's no longer extant;\nWe now have the sextant.\nThat's something they taught me in school.", "id": 3152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Near Sumatra, a bright  lad named Tommy\nCalled out, in great angst, to his mommy:\n\"Quick, Mom! Let's leave Aceh!\nDon't pack your Versace.\nWe're going to get a tsunami!\"", "id": 3153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells and speedysnail", "limerick": "If your jaunt your great aunt seeks to haunt,\nAnd to daunt her you want, say \"Avaunt!\"\nIt conveys, \"Go away!\nDo not darken my day!\"\nIt's the anti-aunt taunt you can flaunt.", "id": 3154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Though hardly a word that's opaque\n(It means \"of an aunt,\" for Pete's sake!),\nThe adjective auntly\nIs used very scantly\nAnd always appears a mistake.", "id": 3156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "An assenter is one who agrees\nWith the topic at hand, if you please.\nSending \"nay\" from his throat\nNever floats his own boat.\nHe says \"Yea!\" from the start to appease.", "id": 3157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To potatoes, a peeler brings skinning.\nTo V. Hugo, a pealer's not sinning.\nTo a lawyer his job's\nSimply great if rich Bob's\nAn appealer who's hell-bent on winning!", "id": 3158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A sexy young man, amatorious,\nFor his silent romance was notorious.\nHe'd bill, but not coo,\nHaving taken the view\nAmatorial talk was laborious.", "id": 3159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "If appendant to pleas you submit\nIs a note to the judge saying \"Twit!\"\nThen if he is quite kind\nYou might simply be fined\u2014\nBut more likely in jail you will sit.", "id": 3160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Some boyfriends are destined to wander,\nWhich leads me this question to ponder:\nIf he won't \"buy the cow\"\n'Cause \"the milk's free\" for now,\nWould abstinence make him grow fonder?", "id": 3161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "In an arsenal armies will place\nAll equipment they need for their base.\nWhen they head out to war\nThey may know what's in store\u2014\nBut good luck if your shoe's lost its lace.", "id": 3162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "In the process of capturing men,\nAn allurement used now and again\nIs to smile and to nod\nAnd convince the poor sod\nYou like sports.  Can I hear an amen?", "id": 3163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Paleontologist Pete\nFound the amblypod fossil a treat.\nWith this ungulate mammal's\nDistinctive enamels,\nHis dental collection's complete.", "id": 3164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "An assorter just lives to assort.\nSurely, grouping is life's greatest sport.\nMake a batch?  Plant a patch?\nFind a match?  He's a natch!\nOut of sorts?  \"Just when sick,\" he'll retort!", "id": 3165, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Is it springtime that fills us with cheer,\nGets us out to the beach drinking beer?\nIs it evenings in June?\nOr the silvery moon?\nNo, it's August, eighth month of the year.", "id": 3166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The deft gymnast arcuately bent\nHer spine backward as far as it went.\nShe resembled a bow\n'Til her head touched her toe\nAnd her coach yelled, \"That's more than I meant!\"", "id": 3167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Such an artisanal craftsman is he,\nAnd acclaimed as the best there can be,\nThat the work from his hands\nBrings the price he demands.\nWith great fame comes good fortune, we see!", "id": 3168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "An apple-cheeked lassie named Milly\nGot fatigued from these questions so silly:\n\"Are those red cheeks you have\nJust a rash?  Need some salve?\"\nSo she always gave answers quite chilly.", "id": 3169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To an auction, a novice did go\nTo win treasures for trivial dough.\nTo his shock and surprise,\n'Cause he rubbed itching eyes,\nHe heard, \"Sold! Thank you, Sir.  Such a pro!\"", "id": 3170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "At the dawn, she heard song\u2014love's aubade.\nThen, in shock, she replied, \"My dear God!\nThough I look such a fright,\nHaving slept through the night,\nIf you'll have me, I give you my nod.\"", "id": 3171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "If au fait, you are skilled or expert,\nAnd you really most likely exert\nMuch less effort and sweat\nThan a novice\u2014and yet\nYou get paid more, I must now insert!", "id": 3172, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Through sequoias we drive, thanks to loggers,\nWho bored passageways using their augers.\nWhat a great site to see,\nAnd be inside a tree!\nI'll relate it tonight for us bloggers.", "id": 3173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In an audit the books get a looking,\nBoth for errors and criminal cooking.\nHonest errors, if found,\nJust get fixed, but courts pound\nOn the crooked, so lawyers they're booking!", "id": 3174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Avast will be heard on the ship\nFrom the skipper, to stop any \"lip\"\nHe may get from the crew\nWhen they hear, \"No more brew!\"\nThey'll be mighty, not high, on this trip!", "id": 3175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In a region with nary a bird,\nNot a chirp nor a song can be heard.\nWhen no birders can stare\n'Cause the birds are not there,\nAvifauna's a seldom-used word.", "id": 3176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "This limerick isn't absurd;\nIt might have already been heard.\nIt isn't the best\nAnd it lacks verve or zest.\nIt's average, just like the word.", "id": 3177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "A crude tartar called argol can grow\nOn the side of fine casks in Bordeaux.\nIt comes from the vine,\nA by-product of wine.\nJust be patient, you'll soon have Merlot.", "id": 3178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "\"It's me, I'm the one who's the sagest.\nDamn youngsters think they're all the rage,\" hissed\nMy favorite Aunt Katie,\nThe day she turned 80.\nI think that this might make her ageist.", "id": 3179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Acception means meaning's received;\nIntended agreement's achieved.\nConfuse with exception\u2014\nYou'll cause misconception.\nThe reader might then be aggrieved.", "id": 3180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "In a hospital down in old Roma,\nWhen Marcello awoke from his coma,\n\"Goodbye,\" said the nurse.\n\"Guess we'll cancel the hearse.\nArrivederci, I'm sending you home-a.\"", "id": 3181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "An African army commander\nDecided to slowly meander\nOut into the veldt\nTo see what he'd smelt:\nIt was cattle\u2014they're called Africander.", "id": 3182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "When you want to explain an abstraction,\nAnd you do it by using real action,\nSymbolism's the game.\nAllegory's the name.\nAnd the reader gets true satisfaction.", "id": 3183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "When Wallis took King Edward's heart,\nHe'd abdicate rather than part\nFrom the woman he loved,\nSo the crown just got shoved.\n(They called her a gold-digging tart.)", "id": 3184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A prowler in search of some loot\nRegretted his choice of pursuit.\nAprowl in my yard,\nHe was mugged by Giscard,\nA quieter, sneakier brute.", "id": 3185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"A man's either moral or not,\"\nSaid Professor Immanuel Schott.\nBut what about mice?\nAre they evil, or nice?\nHis reply, \"They're amoral, you snot.\"", "id": 3186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Should you happen to step on an ant,\nAn apology then you should grant.\nIf he could respond\nFrom beyond the beyond\nHe'd be likely to rant, but he can't.", "id": 3187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "What he found in his grandmother's attic\nWas a mineral allochromatic.\nIts impurities made\nIt a lovely green shade,\nBut the size was what made him ecstatic.", "id": 3188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A skill held by Midas of old\nWas to aurify \u2014 turn things to gold.\nOn the plus side for him,\nHis cup filled to the brim;\nOn the minus, no food, so I'm told.", "id": 3189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An autoroute, as it would chance,\nIs a type of expressway in France.\nZipping home from croquet\nIn your cabriolet\nOn these roads leaves more time for romance.", "id": 3190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An adit you'll find near a mine,\nAnd Adah in biblical line.\nBut a dit and a dah\nYou must hide from your ma\u2014\nThat's E. T. (as Morse code does assign).", "id": 3191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An abbot, a bit of a prude,\nMet an abbess abysmally crude.\nShe'd a gaggle of nuns,\nWho would giggle at puns\nIn which monks made like minks, in the nude.", "id": 3192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Seems my agonies grow by degrees;\nI've been bitten from toes to my knees.\nThis miserable pup\nHas been chewing me up!\nWon't you help? I can't speak Pekinese.", "id": 3193, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"I'll see you anon,\" said my friend,\nAs we'd drunk all my best coffee blend.\nI said, \"After a while,\"\nWhich was more in my style,\nBut it meant the same thing in the end.", "id": 3194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Apollo's the name that was used\nBy spaceships as moon-bound they cruised\nWith a payload of men\nLike Armstrong and Glenn,\nBut just like Glenn, as he'd been excused.", "id": 3195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"He's an animal,\" Leslie exclaimed.\n\"He's a brute, he's a beast, he's untamed.\"\n\"Joe's a pig, I'm aware,\nBut he's quick,\" said Pierre.\n\"Don't shoot now, or he'll only be maimed.\"", "id": 3196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "There are mice in the clock, come and see!\nWe can tear off the tails of all three.\nThough that's gross, farmer's wife,\nThere's no need for a knife.\nCome avulsing, Matilda, with me!", "id": 3198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "You will not want to make me your clerk.\nAvocationally, I've got a quirk\u2014\nIt's my rather strange hobby\nTo sit in a lobby\nWatching other poor jerks go to work.", "id": 3199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "There's an \"auto\" we oughta negate:\nSeems our innards react to create\nA whole raft of diseases\nThat can hurt like bejesus.\nDon't need autoimmunity, mate!", "id": 3200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "If you study bituminous coal,\nYou'll find albertite plays a big role.\nIt is shiny, it gleams,\nIt's in pockets and seams\nTo be found in the colliery hole.", "id": 3201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "You should visit Ahvaz in Iran.\nWhat a great place to work up a tan!\nBut despite tons of sand\nAll nude bathing is banned.\nI'll try tanning my hide in Bhutan.", "id": 3202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While a date with Diane is a treat,\nHer outlook is far from upbeat,\nFor Diane's anorexic\nAnd also dyslexic,\nWhich means that she seldom will tea.", "id": 3203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "The angler (a pediculate fish\nWhose fins let it walk, should it wish)\nCan tempt others less sly\nWith a lure dancing high,\nAnd its bold, irresistible swish.", "id": 3204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Brad and Chad, two bright carpenter lads,\nSought an adze in the classified ads.\nAlthough they persisted,\nThere weren't any listed.\nSaid Brad, \"Let's just borrow your dad's.\"", "id": 3205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "I declare and avouch (guarantee),\nI assert that I just didn't see\nAny saw nor an axe,\nSo calm down and relax.\nHow would I know who felled your damn tree?", "id": 3206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "The church members spelled out their plan:\n\"This church must improve, if it can.\nWe'll need a new hire,\nA person with fire,\nAn archiepiscopate man.\"", "id": 3207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An anachronism's somewhat a botch\nIn a film that is less than top notch.\nIt's when time's out of whack,\nLike a Jazz Age Big Mac\nOr a caveman who's wearing a watch.", "id": 3208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When observing the Fourth of July,\nUncle Sam ate a warm apple pie.\nHe proceeded to blurt,\n\"It's a British dessert!\"\nMiss American Pie's gonna cry.", "id": 3209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "The huge arching M is bright yellow.\nI order and hear myself bellow,\n\"Give me supersized fries,\nAnd some damn apple pies!\"\nI am hoping the carbs make me mellow.", "id": 3210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "John J. Audubon liked a nice bird.\n(Well at least that's what you and I've heard.)\nI know it seems tainted,\nBut oft when he painted,\nHe'd first kill and then pose them\u2014my word!", "id": 3211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To a mermaid from Davy Jones' locker,\nThis shell's so sublime it might shock her.\nWith shapes like small bowls,\n'Round their edge they've more holes\nThan the ear of your average punk rocker.", "id": 3212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The king and his queen faced some tension\nWhen the jester asked, flouting convention,\n\"Do Your Majesties swing?\nAre you up for a fling?\"\n(One vote yea, one vote nay, one abstention.)", "id": 3213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In preserves, there's a wildlife fantasia\nAnd the number of beasts will amaze ya.\nIt's Africa. Oh,\nAnd as continents go,\nThe only one bigger is Asia.", "id": 3214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Thomas thinks he is sharp and efficient,\nBut in overblown speech he's proficient.\nHe'll always concur,\n\"That's affirmative, sir!\"\nWhen a \"yes\" would be more than sufficient.", "id": 3215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aeroponics, some farmers assert,\nIs a way to grow crops without dirt.\nFor a meal grown this way\nThere's a high price to pay,\nPlus another twelve bucks for dessert!", "id": 3216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There once was a woman named Ariel\nWho was hired for skills secretarial,\nBut her boss was a jerk,\nSo her dealings at work\nVery quickly became adversarial.", "id": 3217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To be able just means you can do it.\nHave faith in your strength \u2014 just go to it!\nIf you think that you can,\nYou can beat any man.\n(It's surprising how few will see through it!)", "id": 3218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With abstemious, it's vital to see\nModeration is clearly the key\nIn all eating and drinking.\n(And despite my past thinking,\nIt's pronounced with a very long E.)", "id": 3219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abroach is a word well worth knowing\nIf off to a party you're going.\nWhen done to a cask,\nThat is all you can ask\nSince it means that the wine will be flowing.", "id": 3220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm reluctant to make this admission\nBut it's true, I'm no academician.\nStill, who needs degrees\nTo write limericks like these?\nI've got chutzpah and brains and ambition!", "id": 3221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Alameda: a walkway with trees.\nIt's where folks in the town shoot the breeze,\nWhere mothers can stroll\nWhile their offspring cajole,\nAnd where teens are transmitting disease.", "id": 3222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "In an automat (self-serve caf\u00e9),\nMuch cuisine can be seen on display.\nMake your choice, then guess what?\nDrop your coin down the slot.\nThere's your chow!  Eat it now! On your way!", "id": 3223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Aunt Clara's at sixes and sevens,\nConfused and quite addled\u2014my Heavens!\nIf she'd only commit\nTo relax just a bit,\nShe'd drop down from thirteens to elevens.", "id": 3225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "The detection for firedamp did shine.\n'Twas enough to explode the whole mine.\nThe surveyors, perplexed,\nSaid, \"If afterdamp's next,\nCan't see how that canary is fine.\"", "id": 3226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Wouldst thou find that my aim is amiss\nTo ethereally reminisce?\nProse with style should imply\n'Tis quite old. ('Tis a lie.)\n'Twas to archaize, language like this.", "id": 3227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The abature's only the traces\nA stag leaves behind as he races\nThrough woods unconfined,\nLeaving hunters behind,\nAs he leads them on long fruitless chases.", "id": 3228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You might describe abscesses thus:\n\"They're localized build-ups of pus\nCaused by flesh that is dead,\nOften painful and red.\"\n(And there isn't much left to discuss.)", "id": 3229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The source of some words can be blurry,\nWhich makes etymologists worry.\nFrom the \"Latin\" one gleans\nThat absquatulate means\n\"To abscond or depart in a hurry.\"", "id": 3230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "These countries aren't picked willy-nilly.\nThe two in the Andes are hilly.\nThe other's sublime\nAround Carnival time,\nArgentina, Brazil, and then Chile.", "id": 3231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A principle uncompromisable,\nWhen you deal with a foe that is sizable,\nIs that when it is clear\nYour defeat may be near,\nAn \"advance to the rear\" is advisable.", "id": 3232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Simple adequacy? That's a condition\nWith no strong plus or minus position.\nIf week after week\nThis is all that you seek,\nThen it's clear that you're lacking ambition.", "id": 3233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In writing, the act of creation\nIs often just mere transformation.\nIf this limerick, say,\nWere turned into a play,\nThat would make for a strange adaptation!", "id": 3234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With numbers, my dad was adept.\nEvery challenge he'd gladly accept.\nWith geometry, say,\nHe'd solve problems all day,\nThen quadratics at night as he slept.", "id": 3235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My chances for tenderly teaming\nWith Britney, despite my best scheming,\nStart off at quite dismal\nThen range to abysmal.\n(Thank God there's no law against dreaming.)", "id": 3236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An adjective serves as a label\nLike \"cancerous,\" \"bright,\" or \"unstable.\"\nIt modifies nouns\nAs in \"mammary\" mounds,\nOften ending in -est, -er, or -able.", "id": 3237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adjuration's a word that's ideal\nFor describing an earnest appeal,\nThe kind, truth to tell,\nThat is solemn as well,\nNot to mention both heartfelt and real.", "id": 3238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "While prowling his base's perimeter\nMajor Tom wore his medals and scimitar.\nWhen he shouted, \"Jump to it!\"\nTroops knew to construe it\nAs \"high 'nuff to need an altimeter.\"", "id": 3239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "It's to London that you want to go.\nFirst Class all the way\u2014yeah, I know.\nHere's a different approach:\nIt's cheaper by coach.\nWhen you got there, you'd still have some dough.", "id": 3240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Aeneolithic's prolific\nInventors were always specific\nTo make things by dint\nOf copper and flint;\nUsing mud wasn't half as terrific.", "id": 3241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Astronauts, please all take note:\nThe things into space that you tote,\nWhich stay safe and sound\nWay down here on the ground,\nIn agravic environments, float.", "id": 3242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The ravenous ol' Allosaurus\nIf living today would adore us:\nHe'd gobble and munch\nOn our bodies for lunch,\nRight after to pieces he tore us.", "id": 3243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An arthritic ol' ankylosaur\nCouldn't tolerate life any more.\n\"My knuckles are fine,\"\nHe was heard to opine,\n\"But blimey, my ankles are sore.\"", "id": 3244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The apteryx (commonly kiwi)\nOutdoes the bird Scots call a peewee\nIn terms of its size,\nBut not when it tries\nTo fly; 'cause it cannae, in theowy.", "id": 3245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Aragonite, mineral delight,\nForms in caves in the stygian night\nAnd composes the pearls\nThat charm all of the girls,\nBe they black, pink, cream, golden, or white.", "id": 3246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Toot TOOT! Hullo, now! What's the deal?\nIt's a car with a frog at the wheel!\nI say! Tally-ho!\nWhat a jolly good show\u2014\nMister Toad in his automobile!", "id": 3247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Avgolemono: first, take some stock,\nAdd some rice (and then simmer, to lock\nIn the taste), lemon juice,\nAnd an egg, to produce\nThe most common Greek soup on the block.", "id": 3248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Antiglobulin often is bound\nTo another Ig it's around.\nAggregation together\nDepends upon whether\nMultivalent attachment is found.", "id": 3249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "You need rainfall the most when there's drought,\nAnd certitude most when in doubt.\nIf your car's on the rack\nYou can bet that your ac-\ncident insurance just now ran out.", "id": 3250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "On occasion, a detail can be\nRemembered associatively.\nYou might visit a place\nAnd remember a face\nThat you otherwise just couldn't see.", "id": 3251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "My biology teacher advises\nAnisogamy's sex that comprises\nReproduction by fusion\n(It's not an illusion)\nOf gametes of different sizes.", "id": 3252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "An albiness is who we would see\nIn case an albino's a she.\nHer colorless skin\nLacks the pigment within\nAnd her hair is as white as can be.", "id": 3253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "'Twas around the year 453,\nWhile the Anglos enjoyed morning tea:\nThe Romans were booted\nBy Saxons who looted.\nAnglo-Saxon they all came to be.", "id": 3254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "Fantastic and hip-hip-hooray!\nI've finished my studies today.\nGot me two years of knowledge\nAt Community College \u2014\nI'll finally get my AA!", "id": 3255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "Joe's phone is equipped with call waiting.\nIt helps him keep up with his dating.\nWhen he said to his gran\nWhat he meant for Suzanne,\nShe found it quite alienating.", "id": 3256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Saint Ambrose, in 374\nWas named Milanese Bishop; what's more,\nThough ambrosial means \"sweet,\"\nIt's Ambrosian that neat-\nly refers to that cleric of yore.", "id": 3257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You are playful today, my se\u00f1ora:\nWhen you pounced, you knocked off my fedora.\nNow your fingers, I see,\nAre almost touching me . . .\nHey, quit it! You're tickling my aura!", "id": 3258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "It's a heck of a garment, the apron.\nWhether cut at sharp angles or tap'rin',\nIt protects the cook's clothes\nFrom what splatters and flows.\nGot a wife? It's the best thing to drape 'r in.", "id": 3259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "JellyFsh", "limerick": "I once took a trip to Andorra.\nIt was wholly unlike Bora-Bora.\nIn the Pyrenees range\nNo temperature change\nPrevented my wearing angora.", "id": 3260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Once, a horse-racing friend said to me,\n\"I've four certs here. They'll win, wait and see.\"\nWell, the first three were fast,\nBut the fourth horse came last.\nMy accumulator win? Not one p!", "id": 3261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and Type A", "limerick": "In snooker or pool take your cue,\nThen set the next shot in your view.\nIf the balls line up straight\nIt's not hard to play great;\nBut an angled shot's harder to do.", "id": 3262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "You itch and you scratch. Suicidal?\nYou might need an acaricidal.\nQuickly look for a burrow.\nWith permethrin be thorough;\nWhat's bugging you won't remain idle.", "id": 3263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Dutch advocaat's quite the liqueur,\nThe contents of which I am sure:\nThere's sugar and eggs,\nWhile some brandy adds legs\nTo lay you flat out on the floor.", "id": 3264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Aha!\" you exclaim in surprise\nWhen you cannot quite credit your eyes;\nIt's what you might say\nAt some curious display\nOr upon being told something wise.", "id": 3265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some people would think it insane\nTo fly in a jet aeroplane.\nIt's better, they've found,\nTo remain on the ground,\nAnd travel by car, bus, or train.", "id": 3266, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If under some cabinet glass\nIs a beetle with bottom of brass,\nDon't dither about it\u2014\nCome right out and shout it:\n\"It's got an aeneous arse!\"", "id": 3267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "I know that your laundry's a chore,\nAnd you find it a terrible bore...\nBut it really is gross:\nIt's become aggerose\n(That means piled into heaps) on the floor.", "id": 3268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If you're an old fogey, like me,\nWho likes peering inside his PC,\nThough you rummage around\nSome things just won't be found;\nThe accumulator's too small to see.", "id": 3269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My parents, adoptive, are great:\nThey made sure I was loved, wasn't late\nFor my school, learned good rules.\nI'm so proud; they're both jewels.\nSo who cares that my moms aren't straight?", "id": 3270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "You reckon it aggravates? Wait\u2014\nWhat you mean there is irritate, mate.\nPay heed, girls and boys:\nIrritation annoys,\nWhile to aggravate worsens that state.", "id": 3272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "In Hawaii are two lava rocks:\nAa's rough and occurs as big blocks,\nWhile pahoehoe, you'll find,\nIs the smooth, ropy kind.\nYou should not walk across them in socks!", "id": 3273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "On the ancient Egyptian's demise,\nHis spirit (or akh) would arise\nTo join the Akh-Akh\nAs new kid on the block\nFor eternal repose in the skies.", "id": 3274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "beejay", "limerick": "If avarice lies in your make-up,\nYou may be in line for a wake-up.\nYou're greedy, want money,\nLike Pooh with his honey;\nCupidity calls for a shake-up.", "id": 3275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Out shearing his sheep was McCorning\nWhen a migraine just struck without warning.\nHis doc said, \"Good grief,\nYou could use some relief.\nTake some aspirins. You'll shear up by morning.\"", "id": 3276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Though it's true that he's awfully kind, Ed\nIs really just too absentminded:\nHe helped me to shine\nMy car's lights and align\nThem, but looked at the lamps and was blinded.", "id": 3277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "There was an unknown young musician\u2014\nSuccess was his dream and his mission.\nHe hoped for attention\u2014\nAt least a brief mention.\nHis ego craved fame and agnition.", "id": 3278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chrain", "limerick": "To travel the world is my motto.\nMy dream is to visit Ambato.\nIt's muy bonito\nAnd just south of Quito.\nIts ca\u00f1a can make you quite blotto.", "id": 3279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To the saucy young maid, the man said,\n\"Come alongst, let us thither to bed.\"\n\"Art thou longst?\" she didst say,\nBut then cried in dismay,\n\"Ah! Methinks just a nail there instead.\"", "id": 3280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Apprehensively into the room\nShe flew on her magical broom.\nShe was frightened, it's true,\n'Cause her lizard's-eye stew\nIn her cauldron had just gone \"kaboom!\"", "id": 3281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "While attempting to swim like a duck,\nShe got stuck in alluvial muck.\nShe could not break away\nFrom the sticky, black clay,\nBut she'll fossilize great, with some luck.", "id": 3282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If yours is the singular dream\nTo question the things that don't seem\nSo well understood,\nJust pull on your hood\nAnd head for the fair Academe.", "id": 3283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Whether \"forecasting\" sounds a bit chancy,\nOr \"meteorology\" fancy,\nYou'll always do better\nTo mimic belles-lettres,\nAnd say you pursue aeromancy.", "id": 3284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The alphabet (Roman) is set\nAnd has been for ages; and yet\nIt'd be even better\nWith one extra letter\u2014\nBut twenty-six, that's all you get.", "id": 3285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A Christian says, \"Go, Jesus, go!\"\nWhile an atheist argues, \"God, no.\"\nBut rather less caustic\nIs someone agnostic,\nWho just says, \"Oh, I wouldn't know.\"", "id": 3286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino and speedysnail", "limerick": "Industrial standards in France\nShould never be left up to chance.\nSo don't break the rules\nWith equipment or tools,\nOr AFNOR will kick in ze pants.", "id": 3287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There once was a wanton young bimbo\nWho danced a peculiar limbo:\nShe flailed around\nAs she sank to the ground,\nAnd rose with her arms set akimbo.", "id": 3288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The dog and the wolf have both starred\nIn movies and books of regard,\nAnd even a civet\nOr hyena will rivet;\nBut aardwolves are doing it 'ard.", "id": 3289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The bottom, or backside, or arse,\nIs a popular subject of farce.\nMany actors will find\nThey're surprised from behind\nIn performances lacking in class.", "id": 3290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Malign afibrinogenemia:\nDisease of the blood, like leukemia.\nThe fibrinogen's gone\nFrom your plasma; hereon,\nYou're screwed. (Cf. hypoglycemia.)", "id": 3291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Abudefduf is not some mistake\nThat a kid on a keyboard would make\nWhen he randomly hits\nAny key with his mitts;\nIt's a \"damsel fish\"\u2014no, it's not fake.", "id": 3292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A seductress enticed a dictator,\n\"There's more for dessert, honey... later.\"\nShe was hardly to know\nWhen he struck her a blow\nAnd afterwards sat down and ate her.", "id": 3293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"I'm up in the air\u2014I'm aloft!\"\nCyril said; but his dad only coughed.\n\"Very funny, my lad,\nBut you must think I'm mad;\nYou're my first-born, not airborne,\" he scoffed.", "id": 3294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If Adelaide isn't familiar,\nDon't get in a tizzy, now will ya.\nIt's only your failure\nTo know South Australia\u2014\nThough learning its city won't kill ya.", "id": 3295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My delightfully French condominium\nHad shutters of fine aluminium;\nExcept there were two\nThat were still left to do,\nSo I said to the builder, \"You fini 'em.\"", "id": 3296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An abridger takes so much away\nThat you lose any sense of the play\nOf the words and [removed]\nAnd yet nothing's improved\u2014\nYou can guess what the author would say.", "id": 3297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you're planning to get a divorce,\nKeep in mind what a judge can enforce.\nDon't do anything rash,\nOr you'll lose all your cash:\nAlimony could bleed dry a horse.", "id": 3298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Antarctic's impossibly white,\nAnd its polar snow's ever so bright\nIn December\u2014all day,\nSo I've heard people say.\nIn midwinter, it's always midnight.", "id": 3299, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "America's such a beaut place;\nBut its critics? A bloody disgrace.\nAll you pinkos who scoff\u2014\nYou can just bugger off!\nAs republics go, crikey, we're ace.", "id": 3300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A professional chef got 'er wish\nWhen a restaurant served up 'er dish\nTo a critic of note;\nBut the ignorant scrote\nSaid 'er efforts were amateurish.", "id": 3301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aloha's a word for \"hello\"\u2014a\nHawaiian term, wouldn't you know\u2014a\nPronouncement of greeting\n(They use it when meeting),\nBut also farewell: so, aloha!", "id": 3302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Amazingly, no one has chosen\nThese words; with amazement I'm frozen.\nMy amazedness knows\nNo bounds; I suppose\n(Amazedly) everyone's dozin'.", "id": 3303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The work in the Louvre ain't charmless,\nSo why not go look? It's quite harmless.\nThere's lots that's beguiling,\nLike Mona, who's smiling,\nAnd Venus de Milo, who's armless.", "id": 3305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When it came time for Nature to form us\nShe gave us no fur that might warm us\u2014\nThough some are too hairy\n(Like werewolves\u2014quite scary).\nDid she err, or prefer the abnormous?", "id": 3306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A thespian said to a priest,\n\"You're a vicar, but I'm an artiste!\"\nSaid the priest, \"So you say.\nBut a great one? No way.\nCompared to us guys, you're the least.\"", "id": 3307, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some said it was hooked like a beak;\nSome saw it and hardly could speak.\nWhatever they did,\nPeople said of our Sid\nThat his aquiline nose was unique.", "id": 3308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our lecturer blamed the abstruseness\nOf the book on its patent diffuseness.\nBut I'm onto his game\u2014\nAnd the author, the same:\nI suspect it was just their obtuseness.", "id": 3309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Vice-Presidents rarely will trample\nTheir dance partners' feet. For example,\nAl Gore was so rhythmic,\nHe was near algorithmic:\nHe danced like a flawless code sample.", "id": 3310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Here's a question that's likely to vex you all:\nHow do you know you're ambisexual?\nDo you try it each way?\nOr just wait for the day\nWhen some either/authority checks you all?", "id": 3311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some Amraphel bloke in a crown\nHad it in for his neighbouring town:\nReckoned people in Sodom\nWere \"creepy, so sod 'em,\"\nAnd slaughtered 'em, with their pants down.", "id": 3312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An ambition of mine's to design\nA routine to extract all the wine\nOf life from each day,\nNo matter how grey;\nBut if sometimes I falter, that's fine.", "id": 3313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It was probably far too ambitious\nOf the doughtier long-ago fishes\nTo crawl from the seas\nAnd walk among trees,\nBut the outcome was fairly propitious.", "id": 3314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Appraise this brief verse as you will,\nThere are others yet briefer; but still,\nWhen it comes to haiku,\nI'm unsure what to do,\nSo I'll limerick 'til I've had my fill.", "id": 3315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen and speedysnail", "limerick": "The adenohypophysial\nPituit'ry lobe is for real,\nBut I don't have a clue\nAs to what it can do,\nOr what glandular scans might reveal.", "id": 3316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With acid it's neato and keeno,\nThis compound (organic) amino:\nAbundant and rife\nAnd essential for life,\nKinda like what we call cappuccino.", "id": 3317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and speedysnail", "limerick": "The will to succeed is ambition;\nWe lack it when writing our mission.\nIt is gobbledygook,\nBut by hook or by crook\nWe'll firm up our firm's new position.", "id": 3318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Every animal found in the zoo\nAmbled onto the ark two-by-two:\nTwo impalas, who leapt;\nTwo iguanas, who crept;\nTwo guanacos, two gnats, and two gnu.", "id": 3319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The alderman said to the meeting,\n\"There are five other boroughs we're beating!\nWe're the greatest; the best!\"\nBlah de blah\u2014all the rest.\nAll the council are sick of his bleating.", "id": 3320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Thoreau's Walden, a pond most serene,\nHad developed an unpleasant sheen.\nHenry's neighbours agreed\nIt was 'cause of the weed;\nSurface algae had turned it all green.", "id": 3321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Our alpha,\" the rabbi did say,\n\"Is aleph; it's equal to a.\nAny Jew who can write\nAnd read Hebrew can quite\nLikely handle a hundred each day.\"", "id": 3322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "That philatelist, what a disgrace\u2014\nPenny Blacks stored inside an old case!\nThat's what albums are for:\nKeeping covers and more\nAll together in just the right place.", "id": 3323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It probably isn't that wise\nTo overly alcoholize\nYour afternoon drink:\nWhenever you blink,\nYour boss will see alcohol eyes.", "id": 3324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My amplifier handled The Cramps\nWith ease: they all sounded like champs.\nSo for hour on hour,\nI cranked up the power,\nAnd gave it a few extra amps.", "id": 3325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Amalgamate two different parts\nAnd their separate nature departs.\nYou'll find that it's fine\nTo blend and combine,\nBut teasing apart'll take smarts.", "id": 3326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Go on, doncha be so suspicious\n'Bout whether that mushroom's nutritious.\nLook, it's totally cool\u2014\nAin't a toadstool, ya fool...\nAnd the aftereffects are delicious.", "id": 3327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Afrikaners are people who speak\nAfrikaans, full of words like fabriek.\nThey're also called Boers;\nBritain fought them in wars\n(Though in Africa, that's not unique).", "id": 3328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In the Great War, the British-led nations\nLooked poorly on Deutsch appellations,\nRenaming their pets\nWith staunch epithets:\nGerman Shepherds turned into Alsatians.", "id": 3329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The colour of leaves is called blue.\nThe sound that a dog makes is moo.\nWhat's that you say, son?\nYeah, your Dad's having fun;\nThe aforegoing facts are untrue.", "id": 3330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Agene once whitened our flour,\nBut we use less and less by the hour,\n'Cos this chemical stuff\nIs just not up to snuff\nNow that genes are the germ of our power.", "id": 3331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Thurman thought that her tests were ideal,\nBut the screener said, \"Uma, we feel\nThat you're not right for Gattaca:\nYou should be dramatic-er,\nAnd don't have the proper allele.\"", "id": 3332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When a Roman was looking to store\nA selection of liquids galore,\nHe had just the idea:\nHe'd march to IKEA\nFor amphorae sold as \"Amf\u00e5rr.\"", "id": 3333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When Action Man's looking for bigger\nExcitement, he works as a rigger;\nOr soldier, or spy.\nHe's a flexible guy:\nGoes after the action, I figure.", "id": 3334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When arousing his partner erotically,\nCousteau liked behaving exotically:\nHe would don rubber suit,\nAnd some flippers to boot,\nAnd tickle her fancy aquatically.", "id": 3335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When his jester diminished his bliss\nWith a watery gag on some miss\n(A cornier joke\nThan the King liked), he spoke,\n\"What aqueous humour is this?\"", "id": 3336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My soul had no water-borne birth.\nA centaur inside? Cause for mirth!\nI'm neither Aquarian\nNor Sagittarian:\nMy astral home's always been Earth.", "id": 3337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel and speedysnail", "limerick": "On the Mediterranean shore\nGrow fragrant pink flowers galore.\nYoung mountain goats clamber\nFor herbs known as amber-\nboa from Greece to Lahore.", "id": 3338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Sebastian was thankful when he\nWas skewered with arrows; you see,\nThe guy was a saint,\nAnd they usually ain't\nAs sick of The Archers as me.", "id": 3339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I thought that I looked rather brainy in\nThe quiz, when defining \"Albanian\":\nThe language and race\nOf a fairly small place\nThat you'll find on the Mediterranean.", "id": 3340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "One adverb that Chaucer would write,\nNamely alday, was always alright.\nIts meaning, you see,\nWas \"continually,\"\nAs in all of the day and alnight.", "id": 3341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When Columbus one day ventured forth,\nLisping, \"Thet uth a wethterly courthe!\"\nHe was hardly to know\nThat his voyage would show\nThe Americas, South and then North.", "id": 3342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The amendments each Congressman cites\nAre enshrined in the famed Bill of Rights:\nTo preserve a free press,\nEnjoy legal redress,\nAnd bear arms (to be ready for fights).", "id": 3343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My arms\u2014they won't wave! They just keep\nKinda hanging\u2014refusing to sweep!\nThey're no longer alive!\nCall a medic!... Oh. I've\nOnly rolled on them during my sleep.", "id": 3344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The right to bear arms is such fun!\nYou'll always be safe with a gun.\nYou're never in danger\nFrom mugger or stranger,\nSo shoot, people\u2014get yourselves one!", "id": 3345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There once was a man from Dundee\nWho hammered away at his knee:\nHe gave it some whacks\nWith his almighty axe,\nAll done acrimoniously.", "id": 3346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "For alcohol, look for a sign\nFor \"Spirits and Beer\" or for \"Wine.\"\nThen drink it down quick\nBefore you get sick;\nBeforehand, it tastes mighty fine.", "id": 3347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If a feller were waxing rhetorical\nThat Hitler consulted an oracle\nWho said he'd get stronger\nInvading Wodonga,\nI'd tell 'im that sounds ahistorical.", "id": 3348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Analogy's hard to explain\nIn the space of a five-line refrain;\nIt's like having to show\nEvery fact that you know\nIn a quarter of half a quatrain.", "id": 3349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A virgin could not acquiesce\nWhen his girlfriend began to undress.\n\"Please stop it!\" he cried,\nTo which she replied,\n\"I abhor your abstemiousness.\"", "id": 3350, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "One who anthropomorphizes tries\nTo perceive things through too-human eyes.\nDid you think that car smiled?\nThink your dog is your child?\nSorry, neither one's us in disguise.", "id": 3351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"I can fix it, no probs, it's a snap,\"\nSaid the bloke.  \"The distributor cap\nIs just loose, so don't panic.\"\nWhat a charming mechanic\u2014\nAltogether a promising chap.", "id": 3352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If a comrade with AK-47\nShould point it your way, you should leaven\nYour words with some praise\nFor his socialist ways,\nOr you'll end up in bourgeoisie heaven.", "id": 3353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Look after your vessels aortic,\"\nI said to my friend astronautic.\n\"It's not a great place\nFor a heart attack, space.\nOne giant leap\u2014POW! Rigor mortic.\"", "id": 3354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There once was an amorous yeti\nWho used as his lure amaretti:\nHeard that one macaroon\nMakes a yeti girl swoon,\nSo he knew pretty soon he'd get sweaty.", "id": 3355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Roberto the white-skinned albino\nFrequents cafe-bars to drink vino.\n\"One more bottle of red!\"\n\"Eurgghhhh... my head...\"\n\"Waiter! A strong cappuccino!\"", "id": 3356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's head over heels for the girl;\nBoth his heart and his mind are awhirl.\nHow he's yearning to grapple\nHis eye's candy apple!\nAs centerfolds go, she's a pearl.", "id": 3357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Steve's activeness thrills all his mates,\nAnd his eagerness never abates:\n\"Crikey!\" he'll shout,\n\"Now the only way out\nIs the croc-based demise that awaits!\"", "id": 3358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He was calm, he was poised, and assured;\nTo all manner of woes was inured.\nWasn't like normal folk:\nTreated stress as a joke.\nBut they sacked him, and now the guy's cured.", "id": 3359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There's one thing all anonyms know:\nBeware of the spotlight's hot glow.\nThey're always anonymous;\nThat, or pseudonymous.\n(My anonym's \"fast escargot.\")", "id": 3360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"It was like an attack with a rock,\nOr setting our phasers to shock.\nWe wounded his pride.\"\nUnconvinced, Kirk replied,\n\"That's too... analogical, Spock.\"", "id": 3361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The crew of the ship gave a roar\nWhen they heard \"Let the ee-eagle soar\":\nAlong for the journey\nWas US Attorney\nGeneral Ashcroft! (They'd heard him before.)", "id": 3362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The tyger burns ever so bright\nIn the forests and deeps of the night.\nShould your hand seize the fire,\nEase your grasp, or expire:\nDon't antagonize him\u2014tygers bite.", "id": 3363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He'd hoped to spend Saturday hopping\nFrom left leg to right leg, flip-flopping;\nBut in some agitation\nSaid, \"This alternation\nIs all too annoying. I'm stopping.\"", "id": 3364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"As of today, say your prayers,\"\nGo the media's climate-change scares\u2014\nAs though nobody knew!\nAs to whether they're true,\nAs per usual, nobody cares.", "id": 3366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Well, seeing as how we're all here,\nLet's examine our plan for next year.\nItem 1: War on Terror.\nItem 2: System Error.\n(Oh, the laptop's gone down. Dear oh dear.)", "id": 3367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Twenty-one of you, bring up the rear.\nThat's the ticket, boys: show 'em no fear!\nAll the rest, to the front;\nTake the enemy's brunt.\nAs for me, I'll be waiting right here.", "id": 3368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Assyriology studies the hour\nWhen carvings of lions would tower,\nAnd the myths of Iraq\nCould be found on a plaque:\nThe era of Babylon's power.", "id": 3369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Modern Arabic isn't a tongue\nUsed by many whom I live among,\nBut in Middle East lands\nAnd North African sands\nIt is commonly spoken and sung.", "id": 3370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Arm wrestling's my favourite sport:\nThe tension! So gripping! So fraught!\nMy Gran (eighty-three)\nLikes it too; good for me,\nBecause she's the main person I've fought.", "id": 3371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To win people's minds and their hearts, he\nThought, \"I know: get crafty and artsy!\nAn adornment or two...\nJa, an armband will do.\nWith a swastika, 'cause I'm a Nazi.\"", "id": 3372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An associate prof may be lesser\nWhen measured against a professor,\nBut if covered in tweed,\nIt's a challenge indeed\nTo determine the nattier dresser.", "id": 3373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When engaged in their far-reaching duels,\nPoliticians should follow the rules,\nAnd never misstep on\nTheir choice of a weapon.\nAtomic bombs suffer no fools.", "id": 3374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Was Atlantis impressive? You bet!\nThe most fabled of lost cities yet.\nBut its shrine to Poseidon\nWent under the tide, 'n'\nIts fans never let us forget.", "id": 3375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When stapling some papers from scratch,\nWhy not pinch a bunch more for the batch?\nWhether A4 or Letter,\nThere's nothing that's better\nThan snatching a batch to attach.", "id": 3376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Start explaining atemporal? I'm\nPretty sure that the meaning's sublime,\nThat it's open and shut\nDefinitionally, but\nI'm afraid that we're right out of time.", "id": 3377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Attend to this wound, will you, Nurse?\nAnd to this one\u2014my God, even worse!\nAnd his leg... and his gut...\nAnd this knife in his butt...\nNever mind. Matron, call for a hearse.", "id": 3378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A Parisian mineral master\nDiscovered about alabaster\nThat translucent lime,\nWhen ground, is sublime\nFor mixing a castable plaster.", "id": 3379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Fiona was caught unawares\nWhen, as they got up from their chairs,\nHer date said, \"Hey Fee,\nHow would you like to see\nThe aquatints I keep upstairs.\"", "id": 3380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Alkalis, also called bases,\nAre best kept from eyes and from faces.\nIf not, don't think twice:\nSeek your doctor's advice,\nAfter rinsing appropriate places.", "id": 3381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An eagle will commonly rest\nIn an aery, or lofty cliff nest\u2014\nWhen made of material\nThat's aery (ethereal),\nA tenuous foothold at best.", "id": 3382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'll give you a bloody bad arm-lock\nFer windin' up my new alarm clock!\nIts ringin' is ace\u2014\nYes it is! Shut yer face!\nLook, wake up, or you'll come ta harm, cock.", "id": 3383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An ace in the hole is an ace\nDealt in poker, while hiding its face.\nYou wait for a showdown,\nAnd then give the lowdown:\n\"Gimme every damn cent in this place.\"", "id": 3384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The insurers said, \"Thanks for your claim;\nYou're underinsured, all the same.\nSo you won't get the actual\nCash value; in fact, you'll\nGet fifty percent\u2014what a shame.\"", "id": 3385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a feldspar, is amazonite;\nA green one, apparently\u2014right?\nDon't you see, it's a stone,\nNot the person you phone\nAt some mammonish book-selling site.", "id": 3386, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "Their forebears were slaves once (alack!),\nBut today they are proud to be black:\nThese Americans who\nAre part African, too,\nWith a name claim their heritage back.", "id": 3387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Lookee there: it's ol' Jimmy, ajog!\nAll the neighbours are watching, agog.\nThere he goes, out the gate,\nDown the street, and\u2014no, wait.\nMister Fixx has dropped dead as a log.", "id": 3388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aonian things are from Greece,\nLike the people who dwell there and fleece\nAll the tourists who visit\nTo find things exquisite\u2014\nLike Musings, one euro apiece.", "id": 3389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When Superman said to his rival,\n\"You're risking the planet's survival!\"\nLex laughed, \"Never fear,\nThere's a backup right here:\nA set of Earth blueprints archival.\"", "id": 3390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He envied his neighbours' archdukedom;\nEach offer he made, they rebuked 'em.\nHe offered a million;\nThen a cool thirty billion.\nWhen they turned down a trillion, he nuked 'em.", "id": 3391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Say bud, can you lend me a dime?\"\n\"We ain't harborin' organized crime.\"\n\"I like jello that's pink!\"\n\"All your color schemes stink.\"\nSee, American English in rhyme.", "id": 3392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "They're scrupulous people, the air police:\nMeticulous, careful, and fair police.\nNo point to contest\nAny air force arrest,\nSo never say, \"I wasn't there, police.\"", "id": 3393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Archaeology: study of old stuff,\nConducted by those who behold stuff\nMade by Romans or Greeks.\nWhen the Ancient World speaks,\nYou should listen, 'cause some of it's gold stuff.", "id": 3394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "We nicknamed the first of 'em Argle;\nThe other, his brother, was Bargle.\nIn the car, they would fight\nEvery day and all night,\nArgle-bargling until Invercargill.", "id": 3395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So I said to ol' lopsided Greg,\n\"Tell me, why in the world do you beg?\"\nHe responded, \"Before,\nWhen I bought that chain saw?\nWell, it cost me an arm and a leg.\"", "id": 3396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "All-inclusive? Yep, comes with the lot.\nFor ninety-nine ninety, you've got...\n* All forty-eight books!\n* These steak knives for cooks!\n* And the George Foreman Grill! Man, it's hot!", "id": 3397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Said a maiden one midsummer's night,\n\"Oh, I'm fairly aswoon with delight!\nIs it love in the air\nMakes me faint beyond bear?\nOr perhaps that my corset's too tight?\"", "id": 3398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "The Graces to Greeks are Aglaia,\nEuphrosyne, too, and Thalia.\nThese goddesses' charm\nAnd their beauty disarm.\nThey're like slices of perfect papaya.", "id": 3399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aspartame's a substitute sweet\nYou can add to a sugar-free treat.\n(But a warning: all phenyl-\nketonuric-type men'll\nReact to it. You stick to beet.)", "id": 3400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Acrobatic: high places she climbs.\nMathematic: he's looking for primes.\nI'm ecstatic: in love.\nIn the attic: above.\nAutomatic, this writing of rhymes.", "id": 3401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "And now, as you're all so insistent:\nI shall sever in half my assistant!\nSo, lie down my dear...\nHere's the saw... have no fear!\n(Hmm. Her ribcage is rather resistant.)", "id": 3402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My other co-workers revile 'em,\nBut me, I just process and file 'em.\nThey govern our day\nSo much, you could say\nThat the lunatics run this asylum.", "id": 3403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A paramour danger once courted\nBy savouring sweeties assorted.\nHis honey found out\u2014\n\"You confection'ry lout!\"\nNow his plans to eat candy are thwarted.", "id": 3404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Despite many a lethal occasion,\nLike famine, and war, and invasion,\nAnd rulers who kill\u2014\nDespite all of it, still\nOver half of the planet is Asian.", "id": 3405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Good heavens. That's cause for concern,\"\nSays the captain\u2014and soon his men learn:\nIf you crew the Titanic,\nIt's too late to panic\nWhen the boss commands, \"Full steam astern!\"", "id": 3406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "America's feeling elation\nAt Bush hanging onto his station\u2014\nApart from those few\nCasting votes for the blue,\nWho are fearing abalienation.", "id": 3407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He felt like a sexual traitor,\nBut was lacking the right activator\u2014\n'Til his wife filled the bill\nWith a little blue pill.\nNow some viable grabbings await 'er.", "id": 3408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"You've got to fight back,\" Mother fussed;\n\"Yes, Mum,\" I replied, \"guess I must.\"\nBut somehow I knew\nThat the School of Kung Fu\nWas a place where I'd never adjust.", "id": 3409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I begged for release from my plight;\nI asked her all day and all night.\nI nagged and I pleaded,\nHer patience exceeded\u2014\nAt last she conceded. All right!", "id": 3410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Among the best symbols there are\nIs the asterisk, finest by far.\nIt's used to append\nExtra words at the end\nOr in places that call for a *\n*star.", "id": 3411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An astronaut circles the Earth\nIn a vessel of limited girth;\nWhen he presses his face\nTo the window, sees space\nSimply dwarfing the place of his birth.", "id": 3412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A fickle world leader thought, \"Shall I\nAttack my dependable ally?\nI think that I will.\nGo get 'em, boys! Kill!\nA most unreliable pal, I.\"", "id": 3413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Alright,\" he insisted, \"let's start.\nNow, those who despise it, take heart:\nWe're taking this word,\nAlright, as you've heard,\nAnd tearing it all right apart.\"", "id": 3414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Climbing Everest, soon I felt beat.\nHad to rest\u2014even thought I'd retreat.\n\"The altitude here\nClimbs forever, I fear.\nIt's twenty-nine-thousand-odd feet!\"", "id": 3415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So he meets with a shifty young guy\nWho says, \"Man, wanna give this a try?\nIt's some powerful stuff!\"\nHe agrees, \"Strong enough...\nBut your asking price, man, is too high.\"", "id": 3416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A lad was chastised by his dad,\nBut was feeling surprised more than mad.\nHe took the admonishment\nWith some astonishment:\nNaughtiness don't equal bad.", "id": 3417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A migrating bird told her mother,\n\"I want to fly north like my brother!\"\nSo her mum asked the shop\nIf the airline would swap\nHer own Arctic return for another.", "id": 3419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Ahhh, how we loved it at school\nWhen we'd find us some gullible tool,\nThen take him aside,\nSay \"Yer shoes are untied!\"\nAnd the moment he looked: \"April fool!\"", "id": 3420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When you're baiting a colleague for larks,\nTake care with astringent remarks:\nThe danger at work\nIs resentment can lurk\nAnd the minnows will turn into sharks.", "id": 3421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aerobatic displays make me loopy\u2014\nI'm a crazy ol' loop-the-loop groupie.\nThose magnificent scenes\nWith the flying machines...\nLike von Richthofen fighting off Snoopy.", "id": 3422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A bird on the wing met a slight\nIrritation while trying for height:\n\"This calamitous fog\nLeft my chest all a-clog!\nBut my air sacs are keeping me light.\"", "id": 3423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Avocado has flesh like green butter;\nOn crackers, it sets me aflutter.\nIts alligator skin\nKeeps the pear that's within\nFrom rotting and making you splutter.", "id": 3424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A comet hit London\u2014kerPOW!\nSaid the last one alive, \"Holy cow.\nHope and glory have passed.\nI'm the first and the last...\nI'm the alpha and omega now.\"", "id": 3425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The amir of Morocco once swore\nThere'd be no more immoral amour.\n\"No whores! It's an order!\nOr you're for the border!\nNor scoring of porn, or what for!\"", "id": 3426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Impregnable up on its hill,\nA castle ain't easy to kill.\nBut cannon and mortar\nShould hasten the slaughter:\nArsenal 1, Castle 0.", "id": 3427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Those Olympian gods were a bore:\nZeus and Hera, and Artemis\u2014snore!\nThey were far too abundant,\nAnd now they're redundant.\n(Except Ares, the Greek god of war.)", "id": 3428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Amnesiac? Me? Utter rot!\nYou may think that I am, but I'm not.\nWhy, I even remember\nWay back to September!\n(What joke went in here? I forgot.)", "id": 3429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What a pitiful, horrible man.\nPersonality? None! And no plan!\nWho'd want him as MP?\nWell it sure wasn't me:\nI'm the snivelling jerk's also-ran.", "id": 3430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Ask a Scotsman with tartany hat\n'Bout the noumbers, and where tae start at,\nAnd he'll say (for a bevvie\nOf Belhaven heavy),\n\"Och, ane is the one fer a' that.\"", "id": 3431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It induces a cranial fug,\nSo avoid the falciparum bug\nBy swilling a pill\nThat'll hinder or kill\nIt\u2014an antimalarial drug.", "id": 3432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "November the second's a day\nWhen the faithful all gather and pray\nFor those who've departed\nAnd... hang on, who farted?\nSome blasphemous souls here will pay!", "id": 3433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I said to my sister, \"Now really, Kate,\nYou should know the answer, or nearly, Kate.\nIt's as clear as can be:\nIt's a silicate, see,\nWith the prefix alumino-, silly Kate.\"", "id": 3434, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Every item displayed will be sold:\nThe C-3PO plated with gold,\nAll the stormtrooper guns,\nAnd the faux-Leia buns!\nIt's an Empire of Bargains, all told.", "id": 3435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When you anglicize, don't go too far:\nKeep appearances much as they are.\nDon't wear without care\nThe St George's Cross where\nAngry anglophobes might bomb your car.", "id": 3436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The robin flew swiftly and sparrowy\nIn the straightest of lines (i.e., arrowy).\nTook him ten minutes flat;\nNearly caught by a cat!\nBut he knew that the trip would be harrowy.", "id": 3437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An aristo's one of the posh,\nWith a title, a mansion, and dosh;\nAnd a daddy and mummy\nWhose accents are plummy\nWho always say \"spiffing\" and \"gosh!\"", "id": 3438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "That salmon\u2014you say it's Atlantic?\nI'm sorry for being pedantic,\nBut I think it's chinook\nThat you've got on your hook,\nSo Pacific\u2014though now it looks frantic.", "id": 3439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you're an assurer? You sure?\nYeah, I reckon you've heard that before.\nSo, I die in a ditch\nAnd my kids'll be rich?\nWell, I can't insure anything more.", "id": 3440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What a wonderful beast is the ant!\nThose who call it a pest should recant.\nLifting ten times its weight\u2014\nDon't you reckon that's great?\nAnd just look at it dragging that plant!", "id": 3441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What kitchen-sink drama! That pan\u2014\nHe just hurled it the bedsit's whole span!\nAnd now our man Jimmy\nIs looking all grim; he\nSays, \"Damn, I'm an angry young man!\"", "id": 3442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In Asgard, three Norse gods of war,\nNamely Woden and Frigga and Thor,\nThought they'd all be unique,\nAnd have days of the week\nNamed after them. Loki's still sore.", "id": 3443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our approximate time of arrival\nAt Howard the Duck: The Revival?\nA bit after eight.\nEvery minute we're late\nIncreases our chance of survival.", "id": 3444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The gangsta confused the whole nation\nWhen he rapped a mathematic equation.\nIt ain't the tradition\nTo rhyme in addition\u2014\nNo homies respec' calculation.", "id": 3445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Bourke and speedysnail", "limerick": "An apologue follows the trail\nOf beasts, be they minnow or whale.\nOld Aesop a few did,\nMost fauna included,\nFrom mice to a fox with no tail.", "id": 3446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To avoid ever coming to harm or\nYour end, just invest in some armour.\nIn sheet-metal suits\nWith pointy-toed boots,\nLife is always substantially calmer.", "id": 3447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Herr Chancellor Konrad was torn\nFrom the world before punk rock was born.\nBad luck, Adenauer:\nYou chose the wrong hour.\nYou missed a rad chance to hear Korn!", "id": 3448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An air bag's designed to inflate,\nStopping windscreens from hitting your pate.\nAfter all, why be dead?\n(Also, Radiohead\nWrote a song of that name. They're so great.)", "id": 3449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Akola was where I had gotten\nThis Indian cloth of fine cotton.\nLooks great on the bed,\nOr as curtains instead;\nBut in trouser form, man, it looks rotten.", "id": 3450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "All-powerful, I, and all-seeing:\nAll-time most unusu-all being!\nAll creatures I made;\nAll-importance displayed...\nThen took all week off and went skiing.", "id": 3451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Asafoetida: foul-smelling spice\nFor curries, to eat with your rice.\nHare Krishnas enjoy\nIts flavour, but boy,\nOne whiff of it makes you think twice.", "id": 3452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An art house is where you will find\nAll those films of less-popular kind,\nLike a subtitled drama\nOf some lonely farmer\nWho's Russian, or crazy, or blind.", "id": 3453, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Anubis, Egyptian divine:\nLike a man, but on top of his spine\nWas a jackal-like head.\nHe would lead off the dead\nTo Osiris, their fate to assign.", "id": 3454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "You attain it, you gain it, it's yours:\nYour competitors lost in their cause.\nNever hand your win back!\n(Though a threat of attack\nMay be reason to give you some pause.)", "id": 3455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When encouraging livestock creation,\nHandle mothers with care, not vexation:\nArtificial or real,\nIt's still a big deal\nTo be subject to insemination.", "id": 3456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Take a silicate, then add some water;\nLeave it millions of years (maybe shorter);\nKeep it dripping or just\nLet it slowly encrust:\nYou've got allophane. Sorta like mortar.", "id": 3457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Your career isn't quite non-existent,\nBut the top of the ladder is distant\nIn collegiate terms\nIf your pay-slip confirms\nYour professorship rank is assistant.", "id": 3458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Shove your landscapes, you boring old fart\u2014\nI'm Dada! R. Mutt! Anti-art!\nIt's the end of the old\u2014\nIt's exciting! It's bold!\nHere, I'll sign this urinal, to start.", "id": 3459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "All yer learnin' means nothin' to me.\nI'm an anti-intellectual, see?\nAll yer theatre and art\u2014\nThink yer so bloody smart!\nWell, a hard knockin' beats a degree.", "id": 3460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Most antipollution-type laws\nAre destined to founder, because\nMost polluters have lawyers\nWhose typical ploy is\nTo find every loophole-type clause.", "id": 3461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Antiwar? Good for you, son! Hear, hear!\nLet's avoid any bloodshed this year.\nLet's all lay down our arms\u2014\nTrade our swords in for farms!\nThough I hear Cromwell's troops are quite near...", "id": 3462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's an instrument worth lots of cash\nThat sends particles off in a dash:\nThe Incredible Hulk\nWould approve of its bulk\nAnd admiringly say, \"Atom SMASH!\"", "id": 3463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our society's so atomistic\u2014\n\"I'm a somebody, not a statistic!\"\nBut therein lies the puzzle:\nWe all wear its muzzle.\n[Too dismal? Or just fatalistic?]", "id": 3464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Arabic alphabet's read\nRight to left (Roman's left-right, instead).\nThe part I forget is\nIts actual letters\u2014\nTheir numerals, I have in my head.", "id": 3465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When Dracula looks for a wife\nHe eternally runs into strife:\nA kiss on the neck\nLeaves his darling a wreck.\nThe undead are just too antilife.", "id": 3466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Here's an applicant you will admire;\nI'd encourage you strongly to try 'er.\nShe's intelligent, skilled,\nAnd her resum\u00e9 killed.\nYes, I'd say she's the finest applier.", "id": 3467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In answer, my child, to your query:\nAll matter's atomic, in theory.\nAll physical articles\nConsist of small particles.\nThe finer points, though, make me weary.", "id": 3468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A boxer knocked out in round three\nThought he'd write to Muhammad Ali\nFor his secret\u2014who wrote,\n\"What you do is, you float\nLike a butterfly, sting like bee.\"", "id": 3469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Australians all, let us rejoice!\nWe're unusual, bonzer, and noice.\nWe're young and we're free,\nAnd our home's girt by sea.\n(She's a mate of me great-auntie Joyce.)", "id": 3470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you reckon you're really an Aussie?\nWell tell me, True Blue, what's a cossie?\nDoncha come the raw prawn!\nWhenya think I was born?\nNext you'll tell me yer budgie's a mozzie!", "id": 3471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When next at a local election,\nJust watch how they stop the detection\nOf names on each vote\n(Or each ballot); then note\nThat Australia devised this protection.", "id": 3472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's maybe my favourite season,\nIs autumn: quite rainy and breezin',\nBut still fairly warm;\nAnd the change in the form\nAnd the colour of leaves is most pleasin'.", "id": 3473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Australia is where I was born:\nA land full of paddocks and lawn;\nWhere sheep roam the plains\u2014\nWhich maybe explains\nWhy the grasses are constantly shorn.", "id": 3474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Hear the story of Peregrine Took,\nAs (with Merry), by hook or by crook,\nHe unites with the Ents\nTo defeat foul intents,\nIn The Two Towers audiobook!", "id": 3475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen; farewell,\"\nShe heard her departing beau yell.\nHow could he say that\u2014\nThe despicable rat!\nThey had sechs crates of bratwurst to sell!", "id": 3476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Put a stereo in your Corvette,\nEither 8-track or audiocassette,\nSo that every day, you\nCan rock out to The Who:\nYou better, you better, you bet!", "id": 3477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What in olden days folk did by hand\nIs in modern times done rather grand.\nOur industrial scenes\nAre now full of machines:\nAutomation reigns over the land.", "id": 3478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My therapist thought he could make\nAll my bad habits go. Big mistake!\nI still smoke and drink,\nAnd I swear without think...\nStop hitting me, dammit! You snake!", "id": 3479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If a boy makes no pass at a girl\nWho wears glasses, then what would unfurl\nIf she happened to try\nThose you wear when you fly?\nI don't know, but let's give it a whirl!", "id": 3480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Carried over the waves by the breeze,\nThese people explored the South Seas:\nPolynesian, Malay,\nMalagasy; today,\nAustronesians are known as all these.", "id": 3481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The first in the alphabet, a,\nCan rhyme with the second one, b,\nIf pronouncing them, maybe,\nAs if you're a baby:\nWith schwa sounds, the kind heard in huh.", "id": 3482, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My uncle would often aver\nThat Munda's the same as Mon-Khmer.\nBut up in the attic,\nHis Austroasiatic\nThesaurus declined to concur.", "id": 3483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Now I don't want you fretting, Mama,\nBut I heard Father crashed our new car.\nNo, no, no, no, he's fine!\nHe just drank too much wine.\"\nShe replied, with such Englishness, \"Ah.\"", "id": 3484, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aristotle, philosopher (Greek),\nWas in that sense, at least, not unique.\nBut his impact was vast,\nAnd without him, our past,\nAnd\u2014who knows\u2014future too, would be bleak.", "id": 3485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Aristophanes wrote lots of plays;\nJust eleven survive, nowadays:\nThe Wasps and The Birds\n(33,000 words)\nAnd nine more (tally prone to delays).", "id": 3486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Saint Augustine found it quite odd,\nHow the spirit would fight with the bod:\nSo he wrote his Confessions\nTo purge his obsessions,\nAnd then wrote The City of God.", "id": 3487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our guide, who's a local old hand,\nWas explaining the lay of the land:\n\"Over there, out the back o' ma\nPueblo, is Acoma.\nHere, it's all cactus and sand.\"", "id": 3488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent\nShowed a friend how a hero's pose went:\n\"So here's the trick, Jimbo:\nThe stance is akimbo,\nWith hands on hips, so, and arms bent.\"", "id": 3489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Archaisms used on the Net\n(Like that capital N) look all wet.\nWriting out \"World Wide Web\"\u2014\nIt's the web now, you pleb!\nAnd you're using \"e-hyphen-mail,\" yet!", "id": 3490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Alicante, Valencia? S\u00ed!\nIt's the place en la costa for me.\nLet's all fly there with Pete.\nSo you're coming, yeah? Sweet!\nAli can't, eh? Oh well, just us three.", "id": 3491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "That aircraft that did the last drop, a\nHalf-plane kinda thing, and half-chopper?\nWrite this with yer biro:\n\"The cartel's autogiro.\"\nThat's as much as I'm telling ya, copper.", "id": 3492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Attila, says Gibbon's vast tome,\nIn 452 attacked Rome,\nBagging booty and scalps;\nThen returned through the Alps\nTo his woman (\"Oh, honey! I'm hoooome!\").", "id": 3493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Young Agnes, a martyr and saint,\nThought marriage had too great a taint,\nAnd on heavenly urgin'\nRemained as a virgin:\nYour patron, if bonking you ain't.", "id": 3494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some Roman centurions have\nFound a time machine! Watch, as they nav-\nigate here to our year,\nAnd in New York appear,\nHailing, \"Ave, O Madison Ave.!\"", "id": 3495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Saint Andrew, oor bonnie apostle:\nOch aye, he's an icon colossal.\nBut wha's tha', the noo?\nAndy's their patron too?\nHow can whisky and vodka both jostle?", "id": 3496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Amiens, dans le nord de la France,\nHas une church of tr\u00e8s, tr\u00e8s grand expanse.\nI could stay there all week\u2014\nC'est une ville magnifique!\n(Do you parlez Franglais, par une chance?)", "id": 3497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Ooohhhhhh Aberdeen, finest city of granite,\nWith a number of thoroughfares which span it,\nAnd some bridges, they say,\nQuite like the one o'er the Tay\nNear by Dundee, fairest toun on the planet.", "id": 3498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "As Governor Phillip traversed\nSydney Harbour, he doubtless conversed\nWith his fellows, \"So what\nShould we label that lot?\"\n\"Aborigines. They were here first.\"", "id": 3499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq and speedysnail", "limerick": "I'll kick you smack dab in the head!\n\"Don't mock my alarm clock,\" I said!\nIt functions quite well\nFrom the key to the bell.\nNow again I say, \"Get out of bed!\"", "id": 3500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The aye-aye likes night\u2014he's a ghost\nWho retires by dawn, at the most.\nHe sticks his long finger\nWhere most wouldn't linger\u2014\nTo winkle out grubs for his toast.", "id": 3501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Dude! You should do it! You should!\nIt's amazingly, awesomely good!\nFirst you jump from the plane,\nThen the rush melts your brain!\nI would do it myself, if I could.", "id": 3502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's a sensitive youngster\u2014and how.\nOnce was stung by a wasp\u2014holy cow!\nSo allergic was he\nThat he died, almost... See?\nHe's in anaphylactic shock now.", "id": 3503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Here's a piece that we got in today:\nAn example of New Age crochet.\nIt can serve as a hat\nOr a belt, or... what's that?\nA bit too artsy-craftsy, you say?", "id": 3504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "I plan to remain here all day;\n'Neath the blankets is where I will stay.\nYou can call me a bum,\nBut I won't move a thumb.\nSo please leave me alone.  Go away!", "id": 3505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the air force in Britain the rank\nOf a top-graded officer sank.\nThe air marshal fell twice,\nFrom a chief to a vice.\nTo be frank, he's one blankety-blank.", "id": 3507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "You're severely allergic to cheese\u2014\nJust a whiff and you're likely to wheeze.\nSo abstain or complain,\nBut you're plainly insane\nWhen you talk about shooting the Bries.", "id": 3508, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some lawyers like ambulance chasing.\nRight after a crash, they go racing\nFor injured folks who\nMight be pressured to sue,\nWhile these lawyers remain self-fee-facing.", "id": 3509, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Dearest Son, now that man's been restored\nFrom sin's wages, turn now heaven-toward:\nForty days since you rose\nFrom your earthly repose,\nIt's Ascension Day\": thus saith the Lord.", "id": 3510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You will find the hypophysis gland\nAnd its adeno- lobe can command\nThe rate that we grow\n(Through its endocrine flow)\nEven more than the hamburger stand.", "id": 3511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a sea that is bluer than blue,\nThe Aegean will beckon to you.\nIt has sunsets that charm,\nWhile its islands disarm.\nYou will feel like an Argonaut, too.", "id": 3512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An annus mirabilis, dear,\nIs a notably wonderful year,\nLike the year I met you\nAnd turned 18 (Woo-Hoo!)\nAnd could finally buy my own beer.", "id": 3513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Poor Charles was divorced and alone,\nAnd he stood next in line for the throne;\nSo the Church was intent\n(To assure his ascent)\nThat the service be civil in tone.", "id": 3514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many states form this wonderful nation.\nPut together, it's quite a creation.\nWe aggregate things\nInto one and it brings\nA collection, an agglomeration.", "id": 3515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the sea between Turkey and Greece\nNestle islands that now are at peace.\nThey are called the Aegean\nAnd prompted a paean\nTo Jason's renowned Golden Fleece.", "id": 3516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "My dollar buys eighty-nine yen;\nBut a buck's worth of francs, eighty-ten.\nI might head to the bank,\nBuy some yen with a franc,\nAnd then do it again and again.", "id": 3518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm amenable now to these rhymes.\nI accept some I once thought were crimes.\nBut meter can gall me\nAnd sometimes appall me.\nIt's me versus verses sometimes.", "id": 3519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "Autogamy doesn't much need\nTwo plants for producing a seed.\nIt's fertilization\nBy plant masturbation.\nThank God that's not how people breed!", "id": 3520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "He's clearly the boldest and brightest.\nThis diplomat's teeth are the whitest.\nHe's ambassador-at-large.\nYes, it's he who's in charge.\nOf what, you ask? Haven't the slightest.", "id": 3521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On Honshu, a bearded young Ainu\nWaved \"Hi,\" as he paddled his kay-noe.\nI asked, when we met\nAt an ev'ning quintet,\n\"Are you the same Ainu whom I knew?\"", "id": 3522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The jester of Amalek's dead.\nThe Israelites chopped off his head.\nHis last witty thing\nWas to point at the king:\n\"That's Saul, folks!\" \u2014 the last words he said.", "id": 3523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "The ship is away from the port;\nIts cannon are pointing athwart.\nThat vessel afloat,\nAs a sea-going boat,\nIs at sea or asea (that's for short).", "id": 3524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "Here's the tale of acetophenetidin:\nOnce popular, now you can't get a tin.\nFor pain overall,\nIts fate hit a wall:\nIt damaged the kidneys that let it in.", "id": 3525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Again-sayers never repeat\nWhat another guy utters. They greet\nEach assertion with sneering\nAnd bellicose jeering:\nDisdainful complaining's their beat.", "id": 3526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Anthropologists know they've revealed\nAn old hominid burial field\nWhen they pick up a dead\nAphanozygous head,\nWith its cheeks 'neath its eyebrows concealed.", "id": 3527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The adderwort won't do your math,\nOr bite if it crosses your path,\nBut its stems, gnarled and thick,\nAre a cure if you're sick\u2014\nYou could steep them in wine in your bath!", "id": 3529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those absorbed in themselves will deny\nOthers' feelings exist or apply.\nWhen two egotists meet,\nTheir conceits will compete,\nAnd it's always an I for an I.", "id": 3530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "From all homeopathics I flee;\nOnly allopath doctors I'll see.\nThe disease and the cure,\nI am totally sure,\nShouldn't cause the same symptoms in me.", "id": 3531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The appeal felt by most, I would say,\nAs they celebrate Presidents' Day,\nIsn't national pride\nFor the leaders they've tried,\nBut a day of vacation, with pay.", "id": 3532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Applicative means, off the bat,\nSomething easily used, like a gat\nIn a gangster's right hand,\nOr the strong rubber band\n'Round the violin case where it sat.", "id": 3533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To communicate, Alfa's the word\nRepresenting an A; and it's heard\nOn a radio set\nWhere the static can get\nSo intense that your speech can be blurred.", "id": 3534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"The cuisine here is simply delish,\"\nSaid the diner while sampling the fish.\n\"All the food is top-shelf,\nAnd the owner himself\nStill attentively seasons each dish.\"", "id": 3535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My limerick muse is all spent.\nShe has left, and who knows where she went?\nAmuse?  I cannot,\nFor my rhyming is shot.\nI shall have to invent a lament.", "id": 3536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For soothing, no drug can surpass\nAnalgesics (the pain-killing class).\nTwo aspirins will do\nTo relieve aches from flu,\nBut they won't cure a pain in the ass.", "id": 3537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As if using an adze were not pure enough,\nAnd spelling it adz weren't obscure enough,\nA fellow named Gaddis\nWould call it his addice.\nA triple archaism, sure enough.", "id": 3539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Meg Beagle", "limerick": "The apple-cheeked boy with a grin\nHad bright eyes and a sweet dimpled chin,\nWith a rounded pink face\nI could easily place\nIn the line-up the cops had him in.", "id": 3540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "An anachronism's something unknown\nIn the time or the place being shown:\nLike in lame movie scenes\nWhere the Vikings wear jeans\u2014\nOr Macbeth has a cellular phone.", "id": 3541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The maiden, curvaceous and sweet,\nApproached as I walked down the street.\nFirst she sighed, then she quipped,\n\"Hey, your fly is unzipped.\"\nMy abashance was nearly complete.", "id": 3542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A ward of the state as a tot,\nThen a government pension he got.\nWhen his last breath he draws,\nAlimentary laws\nWill provide for his burial plot.", "id": 3543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A maiden in Wales wished to wed,\nAnd the thought filled her father with dread:\nFor the amobyr loomed\nAnd this tax, he assumed,\nWould betoken privation ahead.", "id": 3544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A famine's a harrowing blight\nFor a baby to suffer. The plight\nOf starvation consumes,\nAnd athrepsia looms:\nTo survive's a perpetual fight.", "id": 3545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many birders are in for a thrill\nWhen they witness the avocet's skill.\nIt's a shorebird that's sleek\nWith an up-curving beak,\nWhich can dig while it's filling the bill.", "id": 3546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To polish your limerick's flow,\nYour editor wants you to know\nThat an audio workout\nWill iron that quirk out.\nEar-obics: the best way to go!", "id": 3547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I'm said to be most acquiescent.\nIt's been so since I turned pubescent.\nIt's just not foreseeable\nThat one so agreeable\nWould ever be called \"incandescent.\"", "id": 3548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The aitchbone's a cut of a steak\nThat's great with some fries and a shake.\nThe \"aitch\" ain't for \"hearty\"\nOr \"Hey, folks, let's party\"\u2014\nIt's shaped like an \"H,\" for God's sake!", "id": 3550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The mate-seeking moose, I maintain,\nGrows deciduous bones near his brain.\nEvery year they get shed\nFrom the top of his head,\nThen it's antlers aweigh once again.", "id": 3551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Arakan for millennia thrived,\nThen the Mughals with muskets arrived;\nAnd with Chittagong gone\nIt just couldn't hold on,\nBut its Buddhist pagodas survived.", "id": 3552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "\"Sacr\u00e9 bleu! I can't measure zat crater,\nIt's too big! I'll just halve ze equator,\nWork out pi times ze square,\nGet ze area \u2014 zere!\"\nSank ze Lord for zat smart arpentator!", "id": 3553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Autotetraploid?  You?  Why, that means\nThat your forbears' genetic machines\nDoubled once, and once more\nFor a total of four:\nOr in short, you've a spare pair of genes.", "id": 3554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "To fasten, to join, to connect,\nTo affix, to augment, to collect,\nTo adjoin, to append,\nTo annex, to extend,\nTo tack on, to attach: to adject.", "id": 3555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "From the back, he appears quite a hunk:\nShapely calves, golden locks, muscled trunk;\nBut he gives, to be blunt,\nAn affront from the front,\n'Cause his nose isn't straight, it's adunque.", "id": 3556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A lucky young woman named Blanche\nWas soon rescued, while clutching a branch.\nShe had just gone to ski,\nWhen the snow was set free,\nAnd came down in a small avalanche!", "id": 3557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "From Australia, brave John Simpson came.\nFrom New Zealand, our lads did the same,\nOn Gallipoli's shore\nThis untrained Army Corps\nLost their lives, lost the battle, won fame.", "id": 3558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"I'll see you anon,\" wrote my friend.\n\"(I think that means soon),\" he then penned.\nWhile his thought was correct,\nIf he'd wanted it checked,\nI've a website I might recommend.", "id": 3559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When Newton once sat in the sun,\nAn apple fell: Law Number One.\nHad it been avocado,\nHe'd have shown less bravado\nAnd made guacamole for fun.", "id": 3560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A scrapbook aficionado\nTook a trip once to Spain, to El Prado.\nHis hobby obsessed him;\nThe Goyas impressed him.\nHe clipped one and turned desperado.", "id": 3561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When something conforms to the facts,\nOr it fits how one typically acts,\nOr it's not imitation,\nOr lacks alteration,\nAuthentic's the name it attracts.", "id": 3562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "At an orchestra concert, the first\nThing you hear (in a musical burst)\nIs the tuning note A\n(Which the oboe will play)\nTo which everyone tunes, best to worst.", "id": 3563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I say grace every now and again.\nWhen I do, I shout, \"Listen!\" And then,\n\"All the food's getting cold!\nSo before it is old,\nLet us eat it. So be it. Amen.\"", "id": 3564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "So, do we live in sand? (That would tickle us!)\nIt is clear that we're not arenicolous.\n(If we were crab or snail,\nWe'd be put in a pail,\nAnd they'd soak us in brine, which would pickle us.)", "id": 3565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Half-conscious, asleep on the lawn,\nI'm angry and drunk and withdrawn,\nAnd wond'ring where Jane is\u2014\nYou can't know what pain is\n'Til after your lover has gone.", "id": 3566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "If a country is ruled by just one,\nProtestation is met with a gun.\nAutocratic's the rule\nIn an autarchy cruel,\nAnd El Jefe, he has all the fun.", "id": 3567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Artolatry glorifies bread,\nWhich stands for the body that bled.\nFor your soul it's much safer\nTo nibble the wafer\nAnd worship the Savior instead.", "id": 3568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A Connecticut Yankee named Hackett\nWith epaulets pinned to his jacket\nSees knights wearing plates\nOn their shoulders, and states,\n\"Those are ailettes you've got\u2014what's your racket?\"", "id": 3569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The coiner confessed to the thief,\n\"All my counterfeits filled me with grief.\nThen I found some machines\nThat strike pictures of queens:\nAnaglyptographs\u2014what a relief!\"", "id": 3570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In response to your recent averment\nThat you just didn't know what that slur meant \u2014\nWith your words came a snort,\nSo I'm forced to retort:\nYour averment's too fervent \u2014 they were meant.", "id": 3571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "While driving along in my Honda,\nI spotted a young anaconda.\nA handsome young rake,\nHe lived near a lake,\nAnd he looked like a snake Henry Fonda.", "id": 3572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I've anuria\u2014no cause for glee.\nWhat will ever become of poor me?\nMy underfilled bladder\nGets badder and badder,\nSince my kidneys are not making pee.", "id": 3573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "\"Yes, my shedyool says Aldershot's next.\"\n(My American friend is perplexed.)\n\"Ah, that's 'skedjool' to Yanks,\nBut as Brits we give thanks\nThat we learned it at shool from the text.\"", "id": 3574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "On a citrus fruit, outside's the zest,\nAnd the pulpy inside is the best.\nBut the white stuff you find\nThat is part of the rind\nIs albedo: it's what I detest.", "id": 3575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The news from my doc was traumatic;\nMy lungs are now atelectatic\nCuz the sacs have collapsed;\nVentilation has lapsed.\nMy oxygen need is emphatic!", "id": 3576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The astronomers, as they assure us,\nReceive radio waves from Arcturus.\nLarge antennas in rows\nTune in very old shows:\nSuch as re-runs of Novas that lure us.", "id": 3577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "My Arabian friends have been told\nThat pink flowers with trunk brownish gold\nShould be called desert rose,\nBut a botanist knows\nIt's Adenium that they behold.", "id": 3578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you look at my eyes there won't be\nAny sign of the hole that's the key\nTo perceiving a view \u2014\nThere's no pupil, just blue.\nAcorea is why I can't see.", "id": 3579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "To apostatise means to abjure\nThose beliefs, of which once you were sure,\nSuch as: Parents are foolish;\nMy teachers are mulish;\nMy company pension's secure.", "id": 3580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "If calligraphy's long been your bent,\nBut your zest for this alphabet's spent,\nMy Muslim friend reckons\nThe alcoran beckons\u2014\nFor you, as for him, heavensent.", "id": 3581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When your host serves his supper creation\nFar too hot, on the brink of cremation,\nJust blow on it sweetly,\nPolitely, discreetly\u2014\nThat's cooling it down by afflation.", "id": 3582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When she moved to Quebec from the Keys,\nShe would constantly shiver and sneeze,\nSince she skimped preparation\n(Acclimatisation)\nFor ice-storms that howled round her knees.", "id": 3583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Distraction? I will not succumb to it.\nDerision?  I'll make myself numb to it.\nSome want, as our mission,\nA shorter edition?\nI'll cross that abridged when I come to it!", "id": 3584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've learned abrin's a poison you'll see\nIn the seeds of the rosary pea.\nThey pose a great threat \u2014\nIf you eat some please get\nTo a hospital A. S. A. P.", "id": 3585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's not a slick riverboat card shark.\nIt's not a tall tree with a hard bark.\nIt's an African mammal,\nNot warthog nor camel,\nThat beast that is known as the aardvark.", "id": 3586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There is only one way to advance\nWhen it comes to the world of romance:\nYou can't be afraid\nOf past errors you've made,\nSo be bold. Shoot the works! Take a chance!", "id": 3587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mountaineering's a rugged activity\nFor which I have zero proclivity.\nI just cannot cope\nWith the steep upward slope\nOf a hill, also called its acclivity.", "id": 3590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While playing a gig in Aruba\nAnd combining my fondness for scuba,\nI sang underwater\nWith Neptune's fair daughter,\nAccomp'nied by a blowfish on tuba.", "id": 3591, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Accubation's the practice, while dining,\nTo be in a posture reclining.\nIf I'm eating this way,\nAny dish served flamb\u00e9\nIs a choice I'll be surely declining.", "id": 3592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Why's my lover so often ecstatic?\nIn the bedroom, I'm always pragmatic:\nI ask, \"Shall we try it\nAt ease, nice and quiet,\nOr maybe a tad acrobatic?\"", "id": 3593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The skeptics will say, \"Inconceivable!\nThe OEDILF, in a word: unbelievable!\"\nBut I'm feeling secure\nIf we only endure\nIt's a goal that is wholly achievable.", "id": 3594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The name Acme is one of those brands\nGeared to shoppers' peculiar demands.\nIf you trust those cartoons\nOn TV afternoons,\nThey make anvils and huge rubber bands.", "id": 3595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An acquaintance is one, to my sorrow,\nI might not acknowledge tomorrow.\nHe's not like a friend\nTo whom I would lend\nBut, conversely, from whom I might borrow.", "id": 3596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's been years since my last lover, Jenny.\nAnd prospects since then? Not that many.\nIt's clear \"satisfaction\"\nAnd \"younger\" and \"action\"\nAre three things I'm not getting any.", "id": 3597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You've turned my life 'round, have you not?\nAnd you've made me much hotter than hot.\nNow it takes all my strength\nKeeping you at arm's length\u2014\nI think stalkers like you should be shot!", "id": 3598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "\"After kneading your pizza's tough dough\nYou must then let it rest,\" bakers crow.\n  In this \"autolyze\" phase\n  Cells of yeast have a craze:\nTheir own enzymes digest them! Oh no!", "id": 3599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "To array is to form in a line,\nLike these bottles of excellent wine.\n  And when feeling a chill,\n  I consume them until\nThere's a ray of delight; then I'm fine!", "id": 3600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The alouette's some kind of bird.\nIt's a skylark, or so I have heard.\nThat's what most people say\nOut by Jonquiere way.\nFor the French, it's the most preferred word.", "id": 3601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "A salve that is antipruritic\nWon't help against odors mephitic:\nIt serves to make itches\nLess bothersome, which is\nSufficient\u2014so don't be a critic.", "id": 3602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since 50, when middle age reared up\nAnd grabbed me, I've seldom felt cheered up.\nI've got pain in my knees\nAnd I pee when I sneeze...\nBut on the plus side, my acne's all cleared up!", "id": 3603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Suicidal,\" the coroner guessed,\nAs the final report did attest.\nIt was shown the accel-\nerator as well\nAs the driver'd been very depressed.", "id": 3604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If the mumps have swept through your community,\nYou now face them with total impunity.\nIf you got them back then,\nYou won't get them again.\nThis is known as an active immunity.", "id": 3605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We know Aesop told tales, often funny,\nThat would educate but, for my money,\nIn a race that is fair\n'Tween a tortoise and hare,\nThe best odds are still on the bunny.", "id": 3606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Affective is one of those notions\nConcerned with arousing emotions\nWhich tend to create\nA hysterical state\nWherein tears are produced in great oceans.", "id": 3608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"It's frightening what childbirth can do to us,\nBut afterpains? They're nothing new to us,\"\nMany women decry.\n\"They are brought about by\nContractions from deep in the uterus.\"", "id": 3609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A life in a foreign stockade,\nAnd cyanide-laced lemonade,\nAnd bees and their stings\nAre just some of the things\nOf which I am deathly afraid.", "id": 3610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An ailurophile's fond of the touch\nOf tomcats and kittens and such:\nTheir whiskers, their fur,\nTheir comforting purr.\nBut ailurophobes? No, not so much.", "id": 3611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acarology deals with some knowledge\nYou might not be inclined to acknowledge.\nIt's the study of ticks \u2014\nGreat for picking up chicks!\n(\"You majored in WHAT back in college?!\")", "id": 3612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It is short-haired and clearly not fat,\nAnd from Near Eastern stock was begat.\nHis reddish brown coat\nHas black markings, you note:\nHe's a fine Abyssinian cat.", "id": 3613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If the character trait most pervasive\nIn your life's that you're seldom evasive\nIn the way that you speak\n(You're an honesty freak),\nIt's a cinch you'll be labeled abrasive.", "id": 3614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We agnostics feel humans can't tell\nOf the workings of Heaven or Hell.\nI suspect that a man\nWith an \"in\" to God's plan\nIs both wrong and deluded as well.", "id": 3615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When flagging a cab you employ\nThe call of \"Hey, Taxi!\" but, boy,\nEvery pirate agrees\nIf you're aiming to seize\nA large ship, what you shout is \"Ahoy!\"", "id": 3616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'll confess to the crimes I commit.\nI'll concede I'm a bit of a twit.\nBut no matter the cost,\nIf I'm driving and lost,\nThat is one thing I'll never admit.", "id": 3617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We're told Adam and Eve had it swell\nIn the Garden, then bade it farewell.\nToday they would not\nBe much trouble to spot\u2014\nNo navels and naked as hell.", "id": 3618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Agrippina the Elder? Well, she\nHad been born 'round 14 B.C.E.,\nAnd was toast of the town.\nThat Caligula clown\nWas her son, the well-known debauchee.", "id": 3619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Cried Great-Gramma, \"Lord, what can I do?\nI pull muscles just tying my shoe!\nMy body, once agile,\nIs now so damn fragile.\nJust wait\u2014it'll happen to you.\"", "id": 3620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The arytenoids, true, have the knack\nOf hanging around at the back\nOf the larynx, like gourds.\nThey support vocal cords.\nThey're where microbes will often attack.", "id": 3621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You weigh half a ton.  It would seem\nThat you're no one's ideal, no one's dream.\nBut it can't be disputed\nYou're immensely well-suited\nTo anchor a tug-of-war team.", "id": 3622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The ballerina in full arabesque\nWas a sight nothing short of grotesque.\nAll her closest friends say,\n\"You've no place in ballet,\nBut you might do quite well in burlesque!\"", "id": 3623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a feeling of dark apprehension\nAccompanied often by tension\nAnd irrational rants:\n\"I've got angst in my pants!\"\nAnd other rude things I won't mention.", "id": 3624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If the spot you are in is quite dire,\nAnd it's certain you soon will expire,\nThen \"Aim!\", it is clear,\nIs the word you might hear\nAfter \"Ready!\" and just before \"FIRE!\"", "id": 3625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With contractions, I have a complaint:\nWhy change am not to aren't and not ain't?\nClearly aren't I? is rot,\nBut the phrase am I not?\nIs both stilted and overly quaint.", "id": 3626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In basketball, any quintet\nThat I play for expresses regret.\n\"What a jerk,\" they say, \"this is!\"\nAs every shot misses\nThe backboard, the rim, and the net.", "id": 3627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Alarm is the fear that will fill you\nWhen you think that a mugger might kill you.\nOr else, if you're rich,\nIt's a system for which\nSome security guys overbill you.", "id": 3628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Something whitish is known as albescent,\nLike a certain pop singer at present,\nWith his face rearranged\nAnd a skin tone that's changed\nFrom brown to damn near incandescent.", "id": 3629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A TV producer will sever\n All bonds with live actors, if clever,\nAnd find his salvation\nIn plain animation.\nBart Simpson will stay young forever!", "id": 3630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The stripper disrobed with great feeling.\nHer dance moves were wild and free-wheeling.\nWith beauty and grace\nIn both figure and face,\nIt's no wonder men found her appealing.", "id": 3631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An android, it's often been said\n(A machine with four limbs, trunk, and head),\nIs designed to survive:\nIt's not truly \"alive,\"\nYet it's clearly a long way from dead.", "id": 3632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It doesn't take wisdom rabbinic,\nAnd forgive me for being a cynic,\nBut where's your remorse?\nIf you're that far off course,\nI'd say get those poor dogs to aclinic.", "id": 3633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We all strive to put stress on beat three\nIn an anapest rhythm, you'll see.\nBut some words I can name\nLeave you short of this aim \u2014\nFor example, attainability.", "id": 3634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Astrophysically challenged, by far,\nUnaware that a dwarf is a star,\nHe's unsure that they're round.\nHe think's Pluto's a hound.\nAnd the Milky Way? Malted milk bar!", "id": 3635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When Acme Banana was sued,\nThe judge rather poorly construed\nThe laws on the books.\nBut I fear, though it looks\nQuite appealable, Acme is screwed.", "id": 3636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "The coppers a crime scene surveyed\nWhere some salt and a knife were displayed.\n\"Whoever's at fault,\nHas committed assault\nWith a weapon that's deadly!\" they bayed.", "id": 3637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "ironmike and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Samson, although he could fascinate,\nThe Philistines chose to abacinate.\nThey blistered his eyes\nSo it was no surprise\nWhen a bunch of them he did assassinate.", "id": 3638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "I think that it goes without saying \u2014\nAllayers provide the allaying.\nThey give you some balm.\nWith allayment comes calm.\nYou're allayed for a time from dismaying.", "id": 3639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A dishonest attorney I knew\nWanted work, so he said I should sue.\nI was filled with disgust\nAnd said, \"Why should I trust\nA damn ambulance chaser like you?\"", "id": 3640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "George Anson, Brit naval commander,\nWas addressing his men with great candor.\nHe said to them \"I'm\nGonna suck on a lime.\nBeat scurvy and life will be grander.\"", "id": 3641, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The way my head shines is enraging!\nMy hair was once long and engaging.\nMy love life's the pits\nAnd my doctor says it's\nAll a part of the process of aging.", "id": 3642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RCK and speedysnail", "limerick": "A fencer who thought he'd been leading\nWas suddenly foiled and bleeding.\nHe said to his foe,\n\"I won't bow to you! No!\nI've never believed in acceding.\"", "id": 3643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RCK and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If this limerick strikes you as harmless\n(Though somewhat artistically charmless),\nYou've missed half its meaning.\nTo my comrades in scheming,\nThis Aesopian verse ain't alarm-less.", "id": 3644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "When immunity's low it's expected\nOur body may well be infected\nWith feared aspergillus:\nThis fungus could kill us \u2014\nAmphotericin B is selected!", "id": 3645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adrian IV showed great skill\nAs a pontiff but soon had his fill.\nWhere popes are concerned,\nThere is one thing I've learned:\nEngland leads the U.S. by one-nil.", "id": 3646, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"In life, if you want to succeed,\nAmphetamines aren't what you need.\"\nTry telling kids that\nAnd they'll hand you your hat.\nThis country was built upon speed.", "id": 3647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The pilot was fearful about\nSafety problems he noted throughout\nHis whole plane, but right now\nIt is airborne somehow,\nIts airworthiness highly in doubt.", "id": 3648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As old as a pillar Corinthian,\nShe opens the mind labyrinthian\nTo things never seen,\nAnd her skin's even green!\nMy lover is truly absinthian.", "id": 3649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An acephalist guards all his borders,\nFrom generals, bosses, and warders,\nFrom professors, and deans,\nSince acephalist means\nA person who doesn't take orders.", "id": 3650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Almug, the very same thing\nAs algum, two words that we bring\nFrom the Bible (O.T.)\nWhere they name a great tree\nThat is sandalwood, fit for a king.", "id": 3651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "52 B.C.E., you'll recall,\nIs when Caesar was victor in Gaul.\nVercingetorix fought\nBut it all came to naught;\nAt Alesia he met his great fall.", "id": 3652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "Once there were three little kittens\nWho were given three pairs of new mittens.\n\"If your mits you amit,\nIn the corner you'll sit,\"\nMother said; and right there they're still sittins'.", "id": 3653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The absolute ceiling's the height\nThat a plane horizontal in flight\nCan maintain.  If the flyer\nShould try to go higher\nIt's not certain he'll crash, but he might.", "id": 3654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An absentee landlord's the guy\nYou can't find when your flat's gone awry.\nYou need help in a hurry?\nNo plumbing?  Don't worry,\nFor the rent he'll show up by and by.", "id": 3655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While it's true I was far from the act\nOn the day that the bank was attacked,\nI helped cover the crime,\nAnd for this I'll do time\nAs accessory after the fact.", "id": 3656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although you may think that it's dumb,\nThis custom is practiced by some.\nWhenever they're able,\nThey bypass the table\nAnd recline when they eat.  They accumb.", "id": 3657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anaclitic describes Virge and me.\nHis programming skills are the key\nTo our website's success,\nI am quick to confess.\nWithout him, just where would we be?", "id": 3658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some wordsmiths are truly fanatical\nFor words and names anagrammatical.\nClint Eastwood's extraction\nBecomes Old West action,\nA feat nothing short of dramatical.", "id": 3659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An anaphrodisiac kills\nAny chances for sexual thrills,\nLike unhealthy cuisine\nAnd, perhaps, nicotine,\nOr a lover's inadequate skills.", "id": 3660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Blood vessels, when bulging, they say\nAre cause for substantial dismay.\nYour brain aneurysmal\nMeans prospects are dismal.\nSubmit your best limericks today!", "id": 3661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The critic who animadverts\nSees all of your faults and asserts\nIn strong language unkind\nYou're a horse's behind\nWithout giving a damn who he hurts.", "id": 3662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I cautioned my Swedish maid Inga,\n\"Take care when you feed the anhinga.\nThat fish-eating bird\nIs bad-tempered, you've heard.\nWatch out or he might grab your finga.\"", "id": 3663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In her \"little girl\" voice, she spoke cloyingly,\nAnd pulled at my underwear toyingly.\nHer actions neurotic\nShe thought were erotic\nBut no, she was acting annoyingly.", "id": 3664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The affair was acutely thick-skulled,\nWe admit, but our senses were dulled\nDue to liquor.  Now we\n(My kid sister and me)\nHave to go get our marriage annulled.", "id": 3665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some eating disorders are hidden\nWith talk of them strictly forbidden,\nBut anorexia nervosa,\nToo often sub-rosa,\nNeed not be a secret, guilt-ridden.", "id": 3666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Organ donors?  I'm one.  I support 'em.\nWhen I'm dead, take my eyes and transport 'em\nTo someone in need\nBut to this please pay heed:\nI'll still use them myself antemortem.", "id": 3667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I swear I get shows from Vienna,\n\"Our Miss Brooks\" with a young Richard Crenna,\nAnd the Austrian news,\nWhich is strange since I use\nAn old coat hanger for an antenna.", "id": 3668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The OEDILF's a phenomenal thing,\nThough we only began this past spring.\nBut anticipate where\nWe'll end up?  Not a prayer!\nWho knows what the future may bring?", "id": 3669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My wife wears an \"X\" on her sweater\nAnd if I didn't know any better,\nI'd fear she's devising\nSome strange advertising\nWith that antepenultimate letter.", "id": 3670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We take on a role managerial\nAnd boost the genetic material\nOf microbes unseen\nWhen we constantly clean\nUsing soap that is anti-bacterial.", "id": 3671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Well, ancestor worship is fine\nIf you come from a noteworthy line,\nAnd your family tree features\nThe finest of creatures,\nAnd not whores and horse thieves, like mine.", "id": 3672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "His political views are simplistic:\nThey're progressive and yet anarchistic.\nHe wants government gone\nBut no welfare withdrawn,\nA position I'd call unrealistic.", "id": 3673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anisette's a liqueur you can savor\nWith a licorice-aniseed flavor.\nGive a bottle of this\nTo some suitable Miss\nAnd who knows how she'll pay back the favor.", "id": 3674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anecdotalists deal in the riches\nOf language.  They're glib sons-a-bitches.\nThey speak anecdotally;\nWe laugh at them totally;\nTheir anecdotes leave us in stitches!", "id": 3675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From the Philippines?  You're Filipino.\nFrom LA?  Well then, you're Angeleno.\nA place often claims\nIts own brood by these names.\nBorn in Reno?  You're \"Some guy from Reno.\"", "id": 3676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "One way to enlarge a small nation\nIs a method that's called annexation.\nYour borders expand\nInto other folk's land.\nIf they're lucky, they get compensation.", "id": 3677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If ever the impulse should seize ya\nSome day to employ anesthesia\nAs a mode of abduction\nOr half-assed seduction,\nI'll rip both yer arms off, ya sleaze, ya!", "id": 3678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anestrus just means \"not in heat,\"\nThat time when sex takes a back seat.\nIt applies to all mammals\nLike pandas and camels\nAnd most of the women I meet.", "id": 3679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Animalcula?  I do permit them\nTo stay in my home.  I admit them\nAs pets.  It's no crock \u2014\nParameciums rock!\nBut I can't find nice collars to fit them.", "id": 3680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's true you exude sexuality,\nWhich brings up this simple reality:\nYour intellect's fine\nAnd your soul seems divine\nBut what draws me to you?  Animality!", "id": 3681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The guy that my little girl marries,\nA serious handicap carries.\nIf he hurts her, alas,\nI will kick his damn ass\nFrom down here all the way to Antares!", "id": 3682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A trailer park torn all asunder\nBy a storm left the people to wonder.\nThe power of lightning?\nIt sure can be frightening!\nStill, no one gets hurt by the thunder.", "id": 3684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Floridian weather's confounding.\nEach summer the coasts take a pounding.\nIt's true you won't freeze in\nThe hurricane season,\nBut the damage from storms is astounding.", "id": 3685, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Isaac Asimov, back in his day,\nAs an author had so much to say\nIn subjects diverse\nIncluding short verse\nWith a rhyme scheme AABBA.", "id": 3686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A gypsy with hair to her knees\nSaid, \"Your future for ten dollars, please.\"\nShe gave me assurance\nI'd have the endurance\nTo see this book through to the Z's.", "id": 3687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Most people are straight, you'll agree,\nWhile a gay life fits some to a T,\nBut I'm a fatality\nOf asexuality\nSince neither sex does it for me.", "id": 3688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's true that we Yanks can be clannish,\nYet feelings like these we should banish.\nTo assimilate well,\nEach new guest we should tell:\n\"It's America.  Learn to speak Spanish!\"", "id": 3689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Americans sure have the tendency,\nOne has to agree, for ascendancy.\nPut us down in the dirt,\nOur morale might be hurt\u2014\nTwo weeks later, we're back in resplendency!", "id": 3690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I climb the rope ladder,\" said Fred.\nI said, \"No, you ascend it, instead.\nIt's also well known\nYou do this to a throne\nIf your father, once king, now is dead.\"", "id": 3691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My sister?  There's no one forlorner,\nSo I felt it my duty to warn her:\n\"You're perceptive.\"  I said,\n\"We have rough times ahead.\nAsperity's just 'round the corner.\"", "id": 3692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though there's finance and microbiology,\nAnd physics and art and theology,\nTo the best of my knowledge\nNo respectable college\nToday gives degrees in astrology.", "id": 3693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her posture went visibly stiff\nAs if to say \"Jump off a cliff!\"\nHe had only suggested\nAn act she detested,\nSo she answered quite brusquely, \"As if!\"", "id": 3694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They assured me my canine was trainable\nAnd amazing results were obtainable.\nThey've had my dumb chow\nFor eight months or so now.\nNo progress has been ascertainable.", "id": 3695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The NRA-trained volunteer\nWent to Congress to make one thing clear.\nTo the Senate, he pleaded:\n\"Assault weapons are needed\nBy sportsmen who like to hunt deer.\"", "id": 3696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I am told it's an act of futility\nDeclaring my own ascendability\nTo the throne of the Pope.\nAm I Catholic?  Nope!\nAnd this fact's a distinct liability.", "id": 3697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you not understand what I said?\nCan I not get it into your head?\nWould amplification\nHelp this situation?\nOr should I speak LOUDER instead?", "id": 3698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "King Harold went out to espy\nHow the enemy arrows would fly.\n\"We've got nothing to fear,\nThey can't reach us back here.\"\nAnd at that he got shot in the eye!", "id": 3699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "This sign on my shield is new-fangled;\nThe design's been repeatedly mangled.\nThey've pushed bits about\nThat they should have left out,\nSo what once was a line is now angled.", "id": 3700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If, from cooking, your books are now browning\nAnd the figures you see leave you frowning,\nMy accountantship's here\u2014\nClimb aboard, never fear!\nI can save all your assets from drowning.", "id": 3701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The fisherman angled for fish,\nWhich he cooked in an angled fish dish.\nI artfully angled,\nWith logic entangled,\nFor to eat that fine fish was my wish.", "id": 3702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The blight of automatization\nHas spread to the ends of the nation.\nIt is really a curse;\nDay by day it gets worse\nAs we head for dehumanization.", "id": 3703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "My limericks start with such style,\nWith great rhythm and flow for a while;\nThen they muck up their stresses\nIn anapest messes,\nAnticlimax, and end in a pile.", "id": 3704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I've oft tried an accumulator bet,\nBut it's one I have never won yet.\nTo succeed you need four\nSpeedy horses, or more,\nOr a highly corruptible vet!", "id": 3705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If 'gainst life and its course you are flailing\nAs the passage of time leaves you ailing,\nYou may find feeble sound\nBy your ears can't be found;\nAudiometers measure this failing.", "id": 3706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I go with no song, no resentment.\nJust mark when I leave, my absentment.\nI must take a break,\nFor I can't stay awake.\nSweet repose will renew my contentment.", "id": 3707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and Workshop", "limerick": "In the Bible, when music is heard,\nThere occurs an ambiguous word:\nSome say virgins is it,\nOthers maidens will fit,\nBut soprano's the term I've preferred.", "id": 3708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "John Alden, while helping his pal\nMiles Standish, said, \"Truly I shall\nPass on what you say.\"\nBut the lass first said \"Nay.\"\nIt was John in the end got the gal!", "id": 3709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The church roof, just over the choir,\nWas recently damaged by fire.\nThe Squire said he'd pay\nFor repairs, straight away \u2014\nHe aspires to a spire that is higher.", "id": 3710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Assassination, I'm certain, entails\nBrute force when my dark side prevails.\nIt's harsh and it's cruel\nAnd the very last tool\nThat I use when diplomacy fails.", "id": 3711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Both his arms hang down well past his knees\nAnd he'll offer to groom you for fleas.\nWhile this apishness is\nA prime drawback of his,\nHe's unequaled at climbing in trees.", "id": 3712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The metalhead music was laudable.\nIn fact, it was truly applaudable.\nThe band were all drugged\nAnd their amps were unplugged,\nSo the music was wholly inaudible.", "id": 3713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her passion I tried to ignite\nWith words that were sure to excite.\nI spoke very movingly,\nShe listened approvingly.\n(Well, guess who got lucky that night!)", "id": 3714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Two tailors had taken a chance\nWhen my record they chose to advance.\nTheir marketing ploy\nIs a winner. Oh, boy!\nAn album with two pair of pants!", "id": 3715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To that woman named \"Right,\" I say \"Ms,\nIt is true I've lost some of my fizz.\nMy pace is now slower,\nMy sex drive is lower.\nIf you love me, you'll take me as is.\"", "id": 3716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Volcanoes provide fearful drama.\nFor example, Japan's Mount Asama\nWas something to see\n(1783)\nWhen it last blew its top off \u2014 oh, Mama!", "id": 3717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While campaigning, John Ashcroft had said:\n\"Vote for me!  My opponent is dead.\"\nBut the voters said, \"We\nDo not like what we see,\"\nAnd elected the dead guy instead.", "id": 3718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For this challenge I wasn't prepared,\nBut I couldn't say I was ascared.\nSo I swam Thompson's Creek,\nThough it made me feel weak.\nAfter all, I'd been double-dog-dared!", "id": 3719, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Tobacco Mosaic, it's seen,\nIs a virus especially mean.\nThe Dahlemense Strain\n(A particular pain)\nContains acetyl\u00adseryltyrosyl\u00adseryl\u00adisoleucyl\u00adthreonylseryl\u00adprolyl-\n\u00adserylglutaminyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00advalyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adleucylseryl\u00adseryl-\nvalyltryptophylalanyl\u00adaspartyl\u00adprolylisoleucyl\u00adglutamylleucyl-\u00ad\nleucyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00advalyl\u00adcysteinyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adseryl\u00adseryl\u00adleucyl\u00adglycyl-\n\u00adasparaginyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adglutaminyl-\u00ad\nglutaminyl\u00adalanyl\u00adarginyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00advalyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00ad-\nglutaminyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adseryl\u00adglutaminyl\u00advalyl\u00adtryptophyl\u00adlysyl\u00adprolyl\u00ad-\nphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adproly\u00adlglutaminyl\u00adseryl\u00adthreonyl\u00advalyl\u00adarginyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl-\n\u00adprolyl\u00adglycyl\u00adaspartyl\u00advalyl\u00adtyrosyl\u00adlysyl\u00advalyl\u00adtyrosyl\u00adarginyltyrosyl-\n\u00adasparaginyl\u00adalanyl\u00advalyl\u00adleucyl\u00adaspartyl\u00adprolyl\u00adleucyl\u00adisoleucyl-\n\u00adthreonyl\u00adalanyl\u00adleucyl\u00adleucyl\u00adglycyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adaspartyl\u00ad-\nthreonyl\u00adarginyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adarginyl\u00adisoleucyl\u00adisoleucyl\u00adglutamyl\u00advalyl\u00ad-\nglutamyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00adseryl\u00adprolyl\u00adthreonyl\u00ad-\nthreonylalanyl\u00adglutamyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adleucyl\u00adaspartyl\u00adalanyl\u00adthreonyl\u00ad-\narginyl\u00adarginyl\u00advalyl\u00adaspartyl\u00adaspartyl\u00adalanyl\u00adthreonyl\u00advalyl\u00adalanyl\u00ad-\nisoleucyl\u00adarginyl\u00adseryl\u00adalanyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adisoleucyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00ad-\nleucyl\u00advalyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adglutamyl\u00adleucyl\u00advalyl\u00adarginyl\u00adglycyl\u00adthreonyl\u00ad-\nglycyl\u00adleucyl\u00adtyrosyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adglutaminyl\u00adasparaginyl\u00adthreonyl-\n\u00adphenyl\u00adalanyl\u00adglutamyl\u00adseryl\u00admethionyl\u00adseryl\u00adglycyl\u00adleucyl\u00advalyl\u00ad-\ntryptophyl\u00adthreonyl\u00adseryl\u00adalanyl\u00adprolyl\u00adalanyl\u00adserine.", "id": 3720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When dealing with bisexuality,\nKeep in touch with prevailing morality.\nThe world has gone screwy\nSo be like Jim Bowie:\nRemember the alamodality!", "id": 3722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Yasser Arafat, once unassailable,\nHas died, which to some is bewailable.\nBut who will they choose\nTo fill Arafat's shoes?\n(John Ashcroft, I hear, is available.)", "id": 3723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When my daughter attempts to prepare me\nFor dating again, she'll compare me\nTo old dogs and new tricks;\nThough great doom she predicts,\nI'm adaptable.  Change doesn't scare me.", "id": 3724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Horatio Alger was thick!\n\"Rag to riches,\" his dominant schtick,\nSaid success could be had\nBy a hard-working lad.\nHis main character's name?  \"Ragged Dick\"!", "id": 3725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In Alamogordo there's sand\nThat is covering most of the land\nAnd a graveyard (Atari)\nAnd Ham's there, but sorry\nHe's dead (although still in demand).", "id": 3726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The alphabet called Aramaic\nNo longer is used. It's archaic.\nAlthough useful before,\nIt's a footnote, no more,\nIn our history of language mosaic.", "id": 3727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All deities I had denied,\nAnd I let my church membership slide.\nI wanted to be\nJust an atheist, see?\nBut I failed. (...although God knows I tried!)", "id": 3728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's true that I'm far from athletic.\nMy play in most sports?  It's pathetic!\nBut I never complain\nSince I feel, in the main,\nThat I'm better than that\u2014I'm poetic!", "id": 3730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her skin, like a fine alabaster,\nWas pale, and this woman I'd master!\nBut alabastrine\nCan mean \"hard,\" as I've seen.\nMy advances were met with disaster.", "id": 3732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The paralysis known as alalia?\nYour vocal cords sadly will failia.\nIf you've got it, give thanks\n(Though you're speaking in blanks)\nThat it doesn't affect genitalia.", "id": 3733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An abandon rate gives you the measure\nOf telephone callers' displeasure.\nYou put them on hold\nBut then waiting gets old.\nIt's their time, not your Muzak, they treasure.", "id": 3734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Sir Bernard would oft plant a tree;\nAn arboriculturist he.\nAs his dish sweeps the sky,\nAncient quasars to spy,\nHis trees grow arboreally.", "id": 3735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "\"I've come,\" Anna said, \"from o'er yonder.\nI'm homeless, bereft, left to wander!\"\nSusan gave her some cash,\nWhich was spent in a flash.\nSusan cried, \"Oh, you snake!\" Anna conned her.", "id": 3736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's a truth that I think we all see:\nEveryone has the right to be free.\nBut for some in Iraq,\nThis is something they lack.\nLet them all live autonomously.", "id": 3737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "In an audio-visual course\nYou'll hear sounds and see sights, oft by force.\n\"Now repeat what I say,\"\nOr in French, \"R\u00e9p\u00e9tez.\"\nNo, no, stop! Please, no more \u2014 show remorse!", "id": 3738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Your accumulator's not up to par?\nThen some problems you'll have with your car.\nA jump start's a pain,\nAnd you'll just miss the train.\nWith your jam jar recharged, you'll go far.", "id": 3739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When assailed by assassins demented,\nI assuaged them until they relented;\nI asked them en masse\nTo assault not mine ass.\nRest assured\u2014the assassins assented.", "id": 3740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Thomas Adams declared, \"I confess\nMy experiments cause me distress.\nI only aspire\nTo make a new tire,\nBut chewing gum?  What a success!\"", "id": 3741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A huckster once said I could see\nAll the wonders of Europe for free.\nI replied, \"Take a hike\n'Cause it surely sounds like\nThe ol' ackamarackus to me!\"", "id": 3742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With amorphism, here is the norm:\nSomething's lacking in shape or in form,\nOr its shape may be changeable,\nIts form rearrangeable,\nLike clouds just before a big storm.", "id": 3743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "It is C5, and H12, and O.\n(Amyl alcohol, didn't you know?)\nIt's one out of eight\nIsomerics, and great\nAs a solvent. Just watch that dirt go!", "id": 3745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "We find, as we travel around\nYerevan, that Armenians abound.\nThe nation, Armenia,\nIs where we have seen ya,\nI'd bet you a dram (or a pound).", "id": 3746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The bugs that we call armored scale\n(Also called Diaspididae), they'll\nHave some scales (these are facts!)\nThat are coated with wax,\nThe ladies much more than the male.", "id": 3747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The Arikara tribe says hello\nIn the language Arikara, bro!\nThey dwell near the river\nMissouri, and shiver\nIn cold North Dakota's deep snow.", "id": 3748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "In the mornings, I drive to the west.\nTo avoid the sun's glare, that's the best.\nAfternoons, after earning\nMy wage, I'm returning\nDue east, so my eyes are unstressed.", "id": 3749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Arthrodesis: that's when they fuse\nThe bones that you normally use\nIn a bendable way.\nWell, they sure saved the day,\nBut now how can you put on your shoes?", "id": 3750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "If you like a good limerick gait,\nAnapest, anapest, ain't it great?\nI could do it again\nAnd again and again\nAnd again and again; but it's late.", "id": 3751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Articulacy? Gloss it? I'll try.\nYou're expressive, a well-spoken guy.\nIf to use it you're skittish,\nThen note the word's British.\n(Americans, bid it goodbye.)", "id": 3752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "This argentite's got a gray hue.\nA silvery ore? Yes, it's true \u2014\nIt's a silver sulfide.\nYou could find some outside\nIf you've got nothing better to do.", "id": 3753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "What causes some starches to split?\nWell, enzymes! But let me submit\nA term, off the cuff,\nFor this starch-splitting stuff:\nIt's amylolytic. (That's it.)", "id": 3754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A demure archegoniate fern\nWas extremely delighted to learn\nThat her genitals, shaped\nLike a flask, caused escaped\nLittle boy ferns to quickly return.", "id": 3755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "While a melody played all alone\nMight be nice on a flute or trombone,\nAn accompaniment\n(Where assistance is lent\nBy some harmonies) makes it well known!", "id": 3756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "She asked the attractive young guy,\nAnticipant of the reply,\nIf \"your place or mine\"\nWould fit his design,\nOr whether he'd rather \"goodbye.\"", "id": 3757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "It's allegro; it moves right along.\nIt's implying a pretty fast song.\nAll the lyrics come out\nJust like tea from a spout.\nIt's intentional. Don't say it's wrong!", "id": 3758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I just gotta have coke for my nose!\n(This addiction is one that I chose.)\nSure it costs me a lot,\nAnd my septum might rot,\nBut my body sure feels like it glows.", "id": 3759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "John Adams, composer of note:\nMany pieces of music he wrote.\nThe most famous is Nixon\nIn China. I'm fixin'\nTo play Mao Tse-tung or Deep Throat!", "id": 3760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Pleasant tones antique cymbals produce\u2014\nLittle discs made of brass, held real loose.\nA percussionist dings them.\nAnd he's happy he brings them,\n'Cause at home, they would be of no use.", "id": 3761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "\"The music is getting too slow,\nSo it's back to the old speed we go.\"\nIf a tempo is written\nBy Beethoven, Britten,\nOr Brahms, you'll change pace like a pro.", "id": 3762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Out of all of the -ism's I hear\nThere is one that just grates at my ear.\nRows of notes with no key,\nI can't sing it! Oh gee,\nThis atonalism stinks! Is that clear?!", "id": 3763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "You can't seem to argue to fact;\nIt's only myself you've attacked.\nGo ahead and keep bombin' 'em\u2014\nArgumenta ad hominem\u2014\nYou're certainly proving you're whacked.", "id": 3764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When, in music notation, they spell\nOut the letters a-c-c-e-l,\nYou should speed up the beat\nWith your hands or your feet.\nAnd pronounce it \"uh-CHEL\" \u2014 you'll excel!", "id": 3765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "To charge up my phone from a plug,\nI use an adaptor and mug:\nOne powers it up,\nThe other's a cup \u2014\nWhile I wait, I pour coffee and chug!", "id": 3766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The anise herb seed is a yeoman\nFor cookies, liqueurs, and foods Roman.\nIt's related to carrots!\nAlthough it has merits,\nIt's useless for noses of snowmen.", "id": 3767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When you're forming a common contraction,\nPlease avoid a familiar infraction.\nDo be sure that, with taste,\nYour apostrophe's placed\nWith precision and great satisfaction!", "id": 3768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Apprehensive, he waited, intent\nOn avoiding a tragic event.\nBut in time he relented;\nHis fears he had vented,\nSo off to the barber he went.", "id": 3769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I invented a mousetrap last fall\nTwice as good as you'd find at the mall.\nBut I made just one sample!\nDown the path, here they trample\u2014\nI doubt there'll be ample for all!", "id": 3770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "With ardor I gazed at my love\nAs we walked on those cliffs far above.\nShe just sighed and said, \"Wow!\nI could die here, right now!\"\nSo I lovingly gave her a shove.", "id": 3771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Roald Amundsen found the world's bottom.\nAnd his huskies?  He never forgot 'em.\nWith the group that he led,\nScott took horses instead,\nBut they didn't work out, so he shot 'em.", "id": 3772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Alertness is key when you drive,\nSince without it you might not survive.\nThere is so much to see\nFrom Point A to Point B.\nStay alert and you'll get there alive.", "id": 3773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If ever you find yourself kissed\nBy someone you'd like to resist,\nAnd his language confirms\nHe likes obsolete terms,\nYou could say, \"Sir, please cease and absist!\"", "id": 3774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Kalleh", "limerick": "There once was a man from Poughkeepsie\nWhose alcohol made him quite tipsy.\nHe dressed with more flair,\nBought a big dancing bear,\nThen went out to find work as a gypsy.", "id": 3775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They've suffered, those Yanks, a reverse\nAnd George Steinbrenner couldn't feel worse.\nAll of Boston declares\n\"God has answered our prayers!\"\nYet they still face the Babe's dreaded Curse.", "id": 3776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In high school, I earned me a letter\nThat was crooked when sewn on my sweater.\nWhen they said, \"That's askew.\"\nI said, \"What's it to you?\nI askew, could you've done any better?\"", "id": 3777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My life in the Navy's a bore.\nWhile on ship, it's just chore after chore,\"\nI heard him complain,\n\"But then let me explain,\nIt's all worth it when I go ashore!\"", "id": 3778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're offering coffee or tea?\nWhat the heck, if it's hot and it's free.\nSure, pour me a cup\nAs long as you're up,\nBut don't make a pot just for me.", "id": 3779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My Republican friends are all spry.\nThey claim Bush is one hell of a guy.\nThey say, \"Don't hold on fast\nTo your liberal past.\nGet on board!\"  (Yeah, as soon as pigs fly.)", "id": 3780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"In quinine, sort pandas neglected\nEgyptian rotund undetected?\nForsooth!  Elbow batter\nIn ivory fatter.\"\n(Allolalia:  speech disconnected.)", "id": 3781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Angelology?  That's where it's at!\nI've got all of the angels down pat.\nMy six-year degree\nGot me this job, you see.\nWouldja like to have french fries with that?", "id": 3782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From Tampa way up to Seattle, a\nGuy like me travels to battle a\nWrong that is done\nTo our favorite Hun.\nWhen you mention him, please call him Attila.", "id": 3783, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acetometers measure how strong\nIs your vinegar.  Could this be wrong?\nNot at all!  But produce\nOther objects of use\nOr you won't stay in business for long!", "id": 3784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In a dream, I had found myself woken\nWhere Abkhaz-Adyghean was spoken.\n\"Southern Russia?  I fear\nI do not belong here.\"\nThen I waltzed, though my legs were both broken.", "id": 3785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I complained to my mom of an achiness\nIn my muscles and bones and a shakiness\nOf vision.  I said,\n\"I should go back to bed.\"\n\"Get to school,\" she replied, \"Stop this fakiness!\"", "id": 3786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From its looks, I could clearly deduce\nThat this diner was once a caboose.\nNow no longer on tracks,\nIt's a place to buy snacks\nThrough what's known as adaptive reuse.", "id": 3787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Thomas Addison's primary fame?\nThe disease which now carries his name.\nYou become weak and thin,\nWith deficiencies in\nYour adrenal glands largely to blame.", "id": 3788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adjusted gross income?  Relax!\nJust sit down and I'll give you the facts.\nFrom your annual pay,\nTake deductions away,\nAnd on the remainder, pay tax.", "id": 3789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While my workload is quite irrepressible,\nSome OEDILFers feel I am addressable\nAs \"Head of the Horde,\"\nOr as \"Chief,\" or \"My Lord,\"\nAnd to these folks, I'm always accessible.", "id": 3790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I own thousands of acres, all arable,\nBut the bills coming in are unbearable.\nWhen no rain's coming down\nAnd your crops all turn brown,\nThe life of a farmer is terrible!", "id": 3791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Advent Sunday, from here to Atlanta,\nMeans a new year begins and we grant a\nDegree of respect\nTo the church but suspect\nThat for most it means \"Four weeks to Santa!\"", "id": 3792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aerodontalgia!  Good Grief!\nFlight attendant!  Dere's pain in my teef!\nIt's so bad, I'm half blind!\nI wish I could find\nSome big rock I could crawl underneef!!", "id": 3793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What's an aeroshell?  That's element'ry.\nIt's (in terms of design) supplement'ry\nTo a spacecraft's protection.\nIt's the outermost section\nSo the craft won't burn up on re-entry.", "id": 3795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I work for a huge corporation\nWhere I suffer severe isolation.\nWhile I cannot begrudge\nHow I'm paid, I'm a drudge.\nThis is affluent alienation.", "id": 3796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Air Force One, as an aircraft, is great\nFor the president and heads of state.\n(I'm just guessing because\nThe plane I flew in was\nAir Force Five Hundred Seventy-Eight.)", "id": 3797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The weatherman notes with a frown,\n\"The Air Quality Index is 'Brown.'\nSince we don't support trees\nBut we love SUVs,\nIt's a cinch it'll only go down.\"", "id": 3798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In a world that is jaded and bored,\nWe OEDILFers are widely adored!\nIt's clear that our writing\nIs seen as exciting.\nAudaciousness can't be ignored!", "id": 3799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since my doctor's instructions weren't clear,\nI've been poisoned by ear drops, I fear.\nLast week he prescribed 'em,\nAnd so I imbibed 'em,\nBut aurally means \"by the ear\"!", "id": 3800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'd say Corsica's capital's pleasing\nBecause temps never dip below freezing.\nOne drawback, however\n(This is not all that clever):\nSay its name and you sound like you're sneezing.", "id": 3801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While we're shooting in Rome, Patrick Swayze\nHas this habit that's driving me crazy!\nWhen he lifts me, he'll whoop\nA robust \"Alley Oop!\"\nWhen he knows I prefer \"Upsy-Daisy!\"", "id": 3802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I've an amp for my trumpet,\" claimed Fred.\nHe played a few notes.  My ears bled!\n\"Your invention's effective,\nBut what's your objective?\"\n\"I want to reach Neptune,\" he said.", "id": 3803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "In my email, I got an attachment\n(A file or a program dispatchment).\nA virus is scary;\nI was hesitant, wary,\nAware of what starting from scratch meant!", "id": 3804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "To access a document, click\nOn the icon that looks like a brick.\nDon't click on the female!\nThat opens my email,\nAnd some of my letters are sick.", "id": 3805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "It stands as a foregone conclusion\nThat when you use hinting (allusion)\nUnclearly, you'll note\nThat your topic remote\nLeaves an audience filled with confusion.", "id": 3806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Autobiography writers\nAre presidents, actors, or fighters\nWho churn out a book\n'Bout themselves: how they took\nHist'ry twice, or at seven were biters.", "id": 3807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "For typical wakes (close in keeping\nWith typical thoughts that he's sleeping),\nThe average achievement\n(Or normal bereavement)\nIs blubbering, crying, and weeping.", "id": 3808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The word aeronautical rings\nOf a skill with propellers or wings.\nIt refers to production\u2014\nDesign and construction\u2014\nOf aircraft or high-flying things.", "id": 3809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Thought Apollo, Acantha he'd win,\nBut the nymph, fighting back, scratched his skin.\nHer Greek name was born\nFrom akantha, a thorn.\nNow acantha's a spine or sharp fin.", "id": 3811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Outmoded, outdated, and hated,\nRepeal of our blue laws is fated.\nIn iron we'd cast 'em,\nBut customs flew past 'em.\nA toast! They'll be soon abrogated.", "id": 3812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Apollo's Aeolian harp\nAlways sounded, he thought, rather sharp.\nThen a gust rose, whereat\nIt now sounded quite flat!\nTo the wind-god he hastened to carp.", "id": 3813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Electricity frequently flowed\nIn Faraday's humble abode.\nHe measured its force,\nBut also, of course,\nHe sang of its charms in anode.", "id": 3814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "His passion for orchids now over,\nBut still a committed plant-rover,\nSteve found the agave,\nWith spikes havey-cavey\nBut tasty; a cousin of clover.", "id": 3815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The agarose polymer may\nCome in handy to scan DNA.\nIt's great at perusing\nLarge molecules, using\nElectrophoresis, I'd say.", "id": 3816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Oaxaca's where Steve hoped to see\nThe ancient Ahuehuete tree\nThat was where Montezuma\nOnce saw, I assume, a\nFat cypress that filled him with glee.", "id": 3817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If the bill-paying Baltimore Oriole\n(Personality: somewhat censorial)\nThinks a team in DC\nShould be countered, you see,\nHe may bray in a paid advertorial.", "id": 3818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The anchorite friar appeared\nIn our town, with a long straggly beard.\nHe'd foresworn misbehaving,\nTemptation, and shaving:\nIn need of a bath, but revered.", "id": 3819, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I gave her a Trinitron Sony, a\nVacation for two in Ionia,\nAnd heaped her with treasure,\nBut nothing brought pleasure.\nOf fun, she had none: anhedonia.", "id": 3820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Anatolian languages spread\nWhen cuneiform tablets were read.\nThere was Hittite-Palaic\n(But not Aramaic)\nAnd other ones, equally dead.", "id": 3821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Allegiance, my teachers allege,\nRequires reciting a pledge.\nOur loyalty oath\nIs something I'm loath\nTo utter; it's lacking in edge.", "id": 3822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The letters you see on your screens\nAre encoded by standard routines.\nUsing ASCII, some nerds\nCan turn bits into words:\nThey build characters using machines.", "id": 3823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At twelve, I hormonally crested\nAnd androgen raged, unarrested.\nMy voice became low,\nThen I started to grow\nA mustache, and became hairy-chested.", "id": 3824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Athabascan was spoken of old\nBy Alaskans, or so I've been told.\nLater on they went forth,\nHaving tired of the north,\nTo the desert, which wasn't so cold.", "id": 3825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bloviation poured out of his spout,\nSo I took my anemograph out\nAnd I measured the speed\nOf his hot airy screed:\nTwenty bromides a minute, about.", "id": 3826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The ancients divined by default,\nCasting crystals aloft for gestalt.\nAlomancy provided\nThe clues that resided\nIn brine, a solution of salt.", "id": 3827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Life's short, so be long in your learning,\"\nHippocrates cautions concerning\nThe medical arts:\nSo \"ars longa,\" he starts,\n\"Vita brevis\"\u2014for optimal earning.", "id": 3828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When some boys bought my bossies, it cost 'em.\nMy peewees and agates? I tossed 'em.\nMy alleys, I've found\n(Alabaster, and round);\nBut the rest of my marbles? I lost 'em.", "id": 3829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cream of the aeroplane set\nAll yearn for Yvette's aviette.\nWhen she hops on her glider,\nThey gather beside her\nThen roar, as she soars like a jet.", "id": 3830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A viper, asleep on the shore,\nMet a mongoose he'd battled before.\nHis attacks were all thwarted\nOnce more, and he snorted\nWith aspish aspersions galore.", "id": 3831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When my chemist approached me, I laughed\nAs he offered an ominous draught.\nWith this apozem nigh,\nHe enjoined me to try\nA decoction decidedly daft.", "id": 3832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm dating a charming young lad\nWho is always most dashingly clad.\nWhen my debonair fellow\nWore suits pinkish-yellow,\nHe started an apricot fad.", "id": 3833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Every paleontologist knows\nThat the temperature suddenly rose\nIn the Aptian time\u2014\nThe iguanodons' prime\nAnd the sauropods' vanishing throes.", "id": 3834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "\"You're corroding my patience!\" he snapped\nAt his student who wasn't quite apt.\n\"Put the acid in this,\nNot your mouth, silly Miss,\nOr you'll be most acerbically zapped!\"", "id": 3835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"All is well!\"\u2014so the optimists cry,\nWhich the pessimists say is a lie,\nWhile the agathists state\nThere's a happier fate\nThat we'll happen upon, by and by.", "id": 3836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To Windhoek, the farmers bring maize,\nAnd the co-op they bring it to pays.\nWith their agsterskot paid,\nAll the boers have it made,\n'Til another year's harvesting days.", "id": 3837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Ivy League brewer of tea\nMade some ginseng, and gave it to me.\nAraliaceous, loquacious,\nAnd very flirtatious,\nWe chatted 'til well after three.", "id": 3838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Venezuelans, and not Japanese,\nSee above, in the branches of trees,\nAraguatos a-prowling\nAnd ceaselessly howling:\nNo monkey's as noisy as these.", "id": 3839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I love to smell cardamom spice;\nGrains of paradise also entice.\nJust a pinch here and there,\nAnd I've nary a care:\nThese amomums' aromas are nice.", "id": 3840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Adoring Elaine was his curse,\nFor her avarice couldn't be worse.\nHe should never have joined her\u2014\nShe's sure to amoinder\nWhat's left of the coin in his purse.", "id": 3841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For a hundred and thirty-two years\nOther yachtsmen were grinding their gears,\nThen at last, time was up\nFor America's Cup,\nAnd the Aussies responded with cheers.", "id": 3842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Aristarch brooked not a snag;\nAt each typo, he'd hoist a red flag.\nHis critical shrewdness\nStruck others as rudeness:\nHis slagging, they thought, was a drag.", "id": 3843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Perversely, you testify tersely,\nContesting suggestions adversely.\nI mutter, \"Oh mercy,\nYou're so arsy-versy!\nEndure it, for better or worsely!\"", "id": 3844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Atocha, with treasures galore,\nHeld cargo worth markedly more\nThan atocha, a grass,\nBut it foundered, alas,\nOn a key near the Florida shore.", "id": 3845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When he plummeted over the cliff,\nHe was terrified, frightened, agliff.\nThough the Road Runner's fine,\n'Tis the end of the line\nFor Sir Wile E. Coyote the Fifth.", "id": 3846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A pheromone yields a reaction\nCausing intraspecific attraction.\nWhen one species entrances\nAnother, the chance is\nAn allomone's part of the action.", "id": 3847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The aumil who came to his farm\nCaused the Indian peasant alarm.\nA third of his crop\nWas a lot off the top\u2014\nSeven bushels, a leg, and an arm.", "id": 3848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Akeratophorous ruminants lack\nAny antlers arrayed in a rack.\nSo the Bactrian camel,\nA practical mammal,\nMakes do with two humps on its back.", "id": 3849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My American Staffordshire terrier,\nLike a pit bull (but just a bit hairier),\nFailed obedience class 'n\nRejoices to fasten\nHis jaws to my post office carrier.", "id": 3850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A Canadian sailor named Smoot\nFound a word that he thought was a hoot.\nIt meant near or around\nOr concerning; he'd found\nHow to say it, as well: it's about.", "id": 3851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The aficionado will shout\nThat his fondness for fish is devout.\nFor myself, I just wish he\nWould stop! Ain't it fishy,\nThis ardent obsession with trout?", "id": 3852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An aristo named Bartleby Bourne\nReturned from his holdings, forlorn.\nHis estate, once a grand\nAristiferous land,\nNow produced not a smidgen of corn.", "id": 3853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Since I'm feeling, today, pedagogical,\nI'll teach you the word allobrogical.\nIt means Calvinist, from\nAllobroges, who'd come\nLong before to Geneva: how logical!", "id": 3854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The entrees at Bistro Giotti\nAre sometimes a little bit spotty.\nThe pasta they fill\nWith some meat makes me ill:\nIt's called \"Spam, Spam, and Spam Agnolotti.\"", "id": 3855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An ascetic is someone who tightens\nHis belt; but not so with ascitans.\nThey dance in a hearty\nHeretical party,\nSince wine, they imagine, enlightens.", "id": 3856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An actor who's hard to replace\nPerforms with decorum and grace.\nHe expresses devotion\nWith heartfelt emotion\nAnd wears an aspectabund face.", "id": 3857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An affodil: asphodel, this is.\nPresent it to misses with kisses.\nIts lily-white bloom\nWill diminish their gloom.\nAdd a d, and you have a narcissus.", "id": 3858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Afridi in Pakistan dwell,\nAnd were prone, 'neath the Raj, to rebel;\nThey reside near the Khyber.\nTo a Wisden subscriber,\nAfridi's a bowler as well.", "id": 3859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "It was hydrodynamic and fast;\nO'er the sun's outer surface it passed.\nBut this wave was unknown\n(Though effects could be shown)\n'Til by Alfv\u00e9n at last it was classed.", "id": 3860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I'm certain it's Elvis who's snoring\nSo loudly it's shaking my flooring\":\nEpistemic, this whim.\n\"Well, it's possibly him\":\nThat's alethic (it's true, but it's boring).", "id": 3861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sleepy old heretic, Jake,\nFor the life of him can't stay awake.\nWhile the Archbishop spoke,\nJacob slept, but awoke\nWhen he heard the words, \"burn at the stake.\"", "id": 3862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Steve's botany lecture was yawnless.\nWe learned that some grasses are awnless,\nLike brome (but not thistles):\nThey lack any bristles.\nI'd check, but my garden is lawnless.", "id": 3863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On a stem, where the foliage grows,\nIs the axil, my gardener knows.\nIt doesn't sing songs\nFor the metalhead throngs;\nIt's an angle where roses repose.", "id": 3864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Aymara ruled the Andean plain,\nBut succumbed to the Incas, then Spain.\nThey remain in Peru\n(Where they made their debut)\nAnd Bolivia, once their domain.", "id": 3865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To prognosticate, wood-cutting souls\nWould take hatchets, and heat them on coals.\nLike divining from tea,\nAxinomancy\nTold the future. (Today, we use polls.)", "id": 3866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "While ayring his acres near Ayr,\nThe farmer (a Scotsman) took care\nTo finish by dark,\nAnd then, on a lark,\nHe ayred to the square on his mare.", "id": 3867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I rashly attempted to trammel\nA beastly Arabian camel.\nI jumped on its hump,\nAnd got dumped on my rump\u2014\nOnly chumps try to mount such a mammal!", "id": 3868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I am writing to tell you good-bye.\nOn phencyclidine, I've found that I\nCome apart at the seams\nIn my angel dust dreams,\nAnd this note's just in case I can't fly.", "id": 3869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "In the course of a speech you digress\nAnd, reflecting, directly address\nA conceptual thing\nLike \"O Death, where's your sting?\"\nYour apostrophe shows your finesse.", "id": 3870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "When I called her a girl of gratuity,\nIt referred to her great promiscuity.\nBut she thought it referred\nTo her kindness of word.\nI guess that's what you'd call ambiguity.", "id": 3871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Aboriginality speaks of a man\nWho was there from the day time began.\nBut you'd think it would mean\nThat his belly was lean\nFrom a clever new exercise plan.", "id": 3872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "What she said made my ego inflate!\n\"I've had thoughts of your body of late.\"\nAn ambiguous dig,\nIt referred to her gig\nAs a coroner, not as my mate.", "id": 3873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "For the plant buffs, a quick education:\nAcrocarpous suggests germination\nWhere the fruit would extend\nFrom the stalk at its end,\nWhich is terminal fructification.", "id": 3874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Acrimony: sharp animosity,\nAs expressed in a speech with ferocity.\nBut we ought to be kind,\nSimply keeping in mind\nThat the world tends to seek reciprocity.", "id": 3875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Some may think that I should, in all deference,\nName the source for my indirect reference.\nWhen I angrily say,\n\"Go ahead, make my day,\"\nJust a simple allusion's my preference.", "id": 3876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "It's an animal\u2014looks like a mule;\nIt's your butt or a pompous old fool;\nAnd its slang application\nBespeaks copulation.\nYou bet your sweet ass this word's cool.", "id": 3877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The word are means the same, don't you see,\nWhether rich, poor, or plain bourgeoisie\u2014\nWhether urban or rural:\nThe third person plural\nIndicative form of to be.", "id": 3878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"When an acid alginic's converted\nTo its ester or salt,\" I asserted,\n\"That's an alginate, yes?\"\nBut it failed to impress;\nThen she said I was dumb, and that hurted.", "id": 3879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "When omnipotence flows from my soul,\nAll the cosmos within my control,\nAll of Heaven and Earth\nShall profess my great worth.\nAlmightiness:  that is my goal.", "id": 3880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Dr. Preston just guessed in requestin'\nSome ancylostomiasis testin',\nAttestin' the pest in\nMy smaller intestine\nIs hookworms. (They're often clandestine.)", "id": 3881, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Doctor Jones noticed hookworms infestin'\nA part of my smaller intestine:\nIt's ancylostomiasis.\nDamn, I could die o' this.\nWeak and anemic, I'm restin'.", "id": 3882, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My anesthesiologist, Jill,\nHas a useful and wonderful skill.\nShe will keep you pain-free\nThrough your surgery, see\u2014\nBut just wait till she sends you her bill.", "id": 3883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My verse has an anapest groove\nAnd an ear-catching rhyme so that you've\nGot to give your attention.\n(I guess I should mention\nThat approbate means to approve.)", "id": 3884, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"For an alkali, Dad,\" said the daughter,\nWith the chemistry set that he'd bought her,\n\"Taking sodium rocks I'd\nCreate a hydroxide,\nDissolving the whole thing in water.\"", "id": 3885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I collect Arthur's writings, but tend\nTo feel shame at the words of my friend.\nSo, disturbed, I apologize\nWhile I anthologize:\nArt never meant to offend.", "id": 3886, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"What's an alkane?\" I'm asked by my son.\n\"It's a paraffin.\" Well, that was fun.\nBut I've still got to write\nThree more lines now in spite\nOf the fact that I'm already done.", "id": 3887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The authoritarian way\nSays that my word is law. Now obey!\nSome will call me a bully,\nOpposing me fully,\nBut why should I care what they say?", "id": 3888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Authoritarianism\nDivides us and causes a schism.\nAll power to him\nWho can rule at his whim.\nAll my students should know this; I'll quiz 'em.", "id": 3889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I rule over all that I see.\nDespite any pitiful plea\nFrom rubes I abhor,\nI know that author-\nitarianism's for me.", "id": 3890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "For wormwood I'm truly fanatical;\nIts acid is quite enigmatical.\nAbsinthate's defined\nBy this acid combined\nWith a base or a positive radical.", "id": 3891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Ascomycete's a fungus: by Jove, a\nFew cells (ascogonium's ova)\nWith an ascomycetous-\nType etiquette, greet us\nAs if we were Jack Casanova.", "id": 3892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I demand a complete explanation\nFor my portraitist's odd innovation:\nI look like a ewe!\nThough I'm sheepish, it's true,\nI won't stand for this agnification!", "id": 3893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Adulterous people perplex,\nGoing outside of marriage for sex.\nBy performing this feat,\nOne is labeled a cheat\nAnd can often wind up as an ex.", "id": 3894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Some call me a pack-rat, I fear,\nBut I'm a collector, it's clear.\nIt's all carefully sorted,\nPreserved, and supported \u2014\nYou see, I'm just archiving here!", "id": 3895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Mathematicians achieve true perfection\nDoing sums free from needing correction.\nTotting up an array\nOf whole integers, they\nAre performing quite flawless adjection.", "id": 3896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "He's an architect certain to please.\nWe had heard of his great expertise.\nWe said, \"Airiness! Grace!\nLots of wide, open space!\"\nBut it looks like a freaking Swiss cheese!", "id": 3897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "The fellows were playing stud poker;\nThe game was intense, a real smoker.\nWith deft sleight of hand\nWilliam fooled them, as planned\u2014\nHe'd anted with Phil's chips, the joker.", "id": 3898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "An anthropological geek\nHad sharpened his study technique\nBy observing his neighbors.\nThe fruit of his labors?\nHe's getting locked up for a week!", "id": 3899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "A classmate of mine had the gall\nTo call me a brown-nosing thrall.\nBut teachers esteem\nA nice gift with a gleam;\nI just polish the apple, is all.", "id": 3900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Nostradamus purported to see\nApocalyptical visions, and he\nWrote in quatrains divine,\nBut with one extra line\nHe'd have limericked predictions with glee.", "id": 3901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Apocryphal, one could construe,\nMeans \"spurious, doubtful, untrue.\"\nYet why, while the Bible\nIs gospel, not libel,\nIs the Apocrypha seen as askew?", "id": 3902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Apollinian means Apollonian.\nThis wouldn't befall the Smithsonian,\nWhere custom prohibits\nRedundant exhibits,\nBut English is more Babel-onian.", "id": 3903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Acceptable conduct for her\nUsed to vary from that of her sir.\nThese times are more free,\nSo, appropriately,\nShe can choose the demure, or demur.", "id": 3904, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Many private academies claim\nStringent entrance exams, as they aim\nTo admit just the smartest;\nAnd yet a con artist\nLike me limboed in, just the same.", "id": 3905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "I'm an organized person, you know,\nPutting everything where it should go.\nDewey decimal-based,\nThe file can't be misplaced...\nI don't know where I've archived it, though.", "id": 3906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Old Admah, the Biblical city,\nWas destined to end, more's the pity.\nIt was lumped in the Torah\nWith Sodom and Gomorrah,\nAnd so it got killed in committee.", "id": 3907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "With houseplants I'm really quite dumb,\nHaving never possessed a green thumb.\nBut with just air to nourish\nThem aerials flourish\u2014\nEven I cannot make them succumb.", "id": 3908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Take the Alcatraz tour any day,\n\"The Rock\" on the isle in the Bay.\nIt has housed Al Capone,\nAnd some others well-known,\nBut the movie's become a clich\u00e9.", "id": 3909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "From an Amazon vine in its prime,\nA shaman brews tea that's sublime.\nDoug wrote of (and tried!)\nAyahuasca's wild ride,\nIf not throughout space, then through time.", "id": 3910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Those nice Araucanian folks\n(Indigenous Chilean blokes):\nAre they kind to their tykes?\nDo they pedal their bikes\nWith baseball cards stuck in the spokes?", "id": 3911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An apophysis is a projection\nOr expansion (that's my recollection),\nLike the jutting design\nOf the cones of a pine.\n(Not a sixth-grader's math class erection!)", "id": 3912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Alto saxophones (saxes) are known\nTo project with a wonderful tone.\nBut Chicago's horn section\nCan't pass an inspection\nSans trumpet and Jimmy's trombone!", "id": 3913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "If absinthe, a greenish liqueur\nWith an anise-like taste, you'd prefer,\nBetter hold on real tight!\nThe effects last all night,\nAnd your mind will be left in a blur.", "id": 3914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Any applicatory device\nMust be useful. (Review that bit twice.)\nIf it can't be applied,\nThough you really have tried,\nThen it's useless, like antlers on mice.", "id": 3915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Analphabetism's his plight.\nHis eyes give him adequate sight,\nBut in bed with a book,\nThere's no lamp on the hook:\nHe reads just as well with no light.", "id": 3916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Old Fred from Arabia knew\nHow to dress, and to slick his hair too.\nI've never since seen\nAny man quite as keen\nIn a dapper aba dab a do.", "id": 3917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Long ago, archetypical clothes\nWere just animal skins, I suppose.\nOnce for warmth, now for style;\nSome believe in a while\nMovie starlets will wear only hose.", "id": 3918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "If your summer vacation's begun\nAnd there's nothing you need to get done,\nGet some sun, feel the rain\u2014\nWalk from Georgia to Maine.\nAppalachian trail hiking is fun!", "id": 3919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Diagnosis: severe ADD;\nYet my focus is true as can be.\nIn a lim'rick or quatrain,\nI stick with my thought train \u2014\nOh, look, there's a bird in that tree!", "id": 3920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Dr. Atkins, your diet's a mess!\nNot to question the weight-loss success,\nBut you're saying that eating\nPotatoes is cheating?\nThis doctor's not Irish, I guess!", "id": 3921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "He was once an accomplished commander,\nAnd his unit could not have been grander\nTill he said that his troops\nAll were morons and dupes,\nThus accomplishing nothing but slander.", "id": 3922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An atheist honors no god.\nSome people would call one a clod,\nAsking, \"Who made the Earth?\"\nHere's a question of worth:\n\"Who made God, then?\" No answer? How odd.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.", "id": 3923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Accidental's a cinch to define:\nIt's a sharp, flat, or natural sign\nThat the songwriter wrote\nTo the left of a note\nThat is out of the key, but still fine.", "id": 3924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Not a limerick for anus! I rue it!\n(I suppose someone does have to do it.)\nLet's just say what you eat,\nWhen digestion's complete,\nWill eventually exit you through it.", "id": 3925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The alcohol found in a drink\nTends to render you drunk, I would think.\nIf you down six or eight\nAnd you don't feel so great,\nYou might vomit some up in the sink.", "id": 3926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Arise, my good subject, arise!\n(But be sure you're averting your eyes!)\nAll this groveling, kneeling\u2014\nIt's hardly appealing,\nSo stand up and show off your size!", "id": 3927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The oracle ran from the sarge\nAnd escaped with the loot from the barge.\nShe's a dwarf, this sly crook,\nWhom the cops overlook\u2014\nWhat a clever small medium at large!", "id": 3928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Apothecaries, once, would report\nWhat the weight of their wares was: in short,\nA scruple or dram\nOr a grain. (Now the gram\nIs the measure to which they resort.)", "id": 3929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The aeolian scale we can play\nOn the white keys from A up to A.\nScales modal are finer\nThan others, like minor.\nInclude a raised seventh? No way!", "id": 3930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Anger is something I feel\nWhen I'm driving to town with a seal,\nAnd, despite all my pleas\nTo my friend from the seas,\nHe refuses to give me the wheel.", "id": 3931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "While asleep on the sofa at Roy's,\nI was licked on the face by his boy's\nForty-two-kilo hounds!\n(Nearly ninety-three pounds\nWhen they're measured in avoirdupois.)", "id": 3932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "She used a few buckets of barium\nTo fill up her brother's aquarium,\nSo the fish passed away\u2014\nWhat a horrible day!\nNow it's hers, and a lovely terrarium.", "id": 3933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A sole individual or strain\nWhose chromosome group should contain\nThree or more imitations\nFrom genomic relations?\nAutopolyploid's the name that shall reign.", "id": 3934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "My area code is comprised\nOf three digits (it's handily sized).\nWith demand at the max\nFor both cell phone and fax,\nThe number of codes was revised.", "id": 3935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Clear as crystal, parishoners knew\nThe best thing a Christian could do:\nThe people, as brothers,\nSaid, \"Do unto others\nAs you would have done unto you.\"", "id": 3936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "\"There's a ghost in my alphabet soup!\"\nI cried to my mom with a whoop.\n\"It's telling me, 'Ooooooo!'\"\n\"Now, knock it off, you!\nIt's anelli,\" said Mother, \"you dupe!\"", "id": 3937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Buenos Aires, a city so clean; a\nGreat game in the Boca arena;\nAsados and wine:\nMy vacation was fine.\nSo don't cry for me, Argentina.", "id": 3938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your sense of decorum was dashed\nWhen a moth crawled from out your mustache.\nAs you bowed to the Queen,\nYour discomfort was keen.\nWhat you felt at the time was abashed.", "id": 3939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From here to the French Riviera,\nWe need to begin a new era!\nI propose we abolish\nAll forms of nail polish\nAnd lipstick and rouge and mascara!", "id": 3940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The key to online merchandising,\nThe \"pop-up,\" has most folks despising\nIts steady profusion\n(This loathsome intrusion!)\nAs state-of-the-art advertising.", "id": 3941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Take vegetables, garlic, and fish\n(You can make it with meat if you wish),\nThen you serve atop rice\nWith some soy sauce and spice\u2014\nIt's adobo, a Philippine dish.", "id": 3942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "That acrid means \"sharp\" is well known;\nAlso \"caustic in language or tone.\"\nIf this is your great\nPersonality trait,\nChances are folks will leave you alone.", "id": 3943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Acyanoblepsia? You?\nYou have problems distinguishing hue?\nBut that seems such a crime\u2014\nAnd your art is sublime!\nAre you sure that you can't discern blue?", "id": 3944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ms Abzug (whose first name was Bella),\nA New Yorker you'd never call yella,\nShowed all women indeed\nThat each one could succeed\nWithout first being born as a fella.", "id": 3946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adenoma (according to rumor)\nMeans \"benign epithelial tumor.\"\nRemove one from me\nAnd I'm sure that I'll be\nIn a thankful and joyous good humor.", "id": 3947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Agarics are mushrooms I bet\nThat you just might consider a threat.\nThey, though somewhat forbidding,\nWere once used (no kidding!)\nTo inhibit production of sweat.", "id": 3948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adam's Bridge (18 miles at the most)\nLinks Sri Lanka with India's coast.\nIt's a series of shoals\nWith significant roles\nIn the legends the locals all toast.", "id": 3949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's true other runners won't thwart us,\nThough our speed might suggest rigor mortis.\nIf our progress is steady\nFor success we'll be ready \u2014\nA lesson that Aesop once tortoise.", "id": 3950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anabatic refers to the rush\nOf the air lifting eagle or thrush,\nOr that windy express\nRaising Marilyn's dress\nAs it made Joe DiMaggio blush.", "id": 3951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mr. Agnew was nobody's hero,\nAnd his ethics were rated a zero.\nAs Nixon's V.P.\nHe made history, see?\nHe's the only one ever named Spiro.", "id": 3952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "An Arab's Semitic extraction\nMight elicit a puzzled reaction.\n   But an Arab, a Jew,\n   And a Canaanite, too,\nAll derive from this common abstraction.", "id": 3953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "So then, anthropomorphically speaking,\nThe moon may be said to be peeking\nO'er the hills, or a cloud,\nOr, for crying out loud,\nThrough the windows ostensibly streaking.", "id": 3954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "At last you have cornered the prey;\nIt is trapped, and it can't get away.\nBy the hounds it's surrounded;\nThe beast is confounded\u2014\nIn the old days, we called this abay.", "id": 3955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"I'm delighted to thank the Academy!\nBest Actress?  I'm thrilled you think that o' me!\nI'm truly nonplussed!\"\nI hope it's not just\nAn Award for my curvy anatomy. . .", "id": 3956, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A hero, in life or mythology,\nWill wisely employ some psychology:\nWhen a woman's irate,\nHe'll forego all debate\nAnd will prudently make an apology.", "id": 3957, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Such garlands of amylopectin,\nThe soluble starch is bedecked in!\nIts branching arms swell,\nLet the amylose gel \u2014\nNow this gravy will bear no rejectin'.", "id": 3958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When a farmer his farmland abuses\nTill it dies from the methods he chooses,\nHe adds grass for its tilth,\nLets it fallow, bans filth:\nAgrologic's the logic he uses.", "id": 3959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "You used to do yoga with ease,\nBut now your joints painfully freeze.\nAnalgesics remain\nAnd can mitigate pain,\nBut it's best to be kind to your knees.", "id": 3960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"If you're reading this note in my dwelling,\nThen I'm gone, and this should be compelling:\nI could not do the crime.\nI was dead at the time.\"\nHe acquitted himself. It was telling.", "id": 3961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If your outlaws are hard to arrest,\nGet this masked man to stay as your guest.\nMangy varmints he routs,\n\"Hi-yo Silver!\" he shouts,\nThen abequitates into the west.", "id": 3962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Though for marriage they weren't really matched,\nStill it happened\u2014a priest was dispatched.\nWhen they kissed in embrace,\nBraces locked, face to face;\nSo, for better or worse, they're attached.", "id": 3963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Put antlers on mice? What a laugh!\nThe weight would just cut them in half.\nBut they don't look so queer\nOn an elk or a deer.\nThere are tiny ones on a giraffe.", "id": 3964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Anomalousness, without doubt,\nIs a feature that makes things stand out,\nLike a sheep that can type,\nOr a cow with a pipe,\nOr a girlfriend who's not known to pout.", "id": 3965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The academists hunger to learn\nOf the arts or of science. They yearn\nTo appreciate Poe,\nOr the works of van Gogh,\nOr how wood can ignite and then burn.", "id": 3966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A young lady, intent to arouse\nHer new lover, decided to browse\nThrough Victoria's bras\nFor the one which would cause\nHim to stammer out hubbas and wows.", "id": 3967, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I submit for approval: A lone\nGerman soldier who answers a phone\nAnd discovers that he,\nQuite bizarrely, will be\nRedeployed\u2014to the (grin) Twilight Zone.", "id": 3968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Qermaq", "limerick": "Since the lady refused your affection,\nYou're left in a state of abjection.\nMay I be quite direct?\nWhat else can you expect\nWith a hobby like garbage collection?", "id": 3969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "They hid; they were lying in wait\nFor the moment I stepped through the gate.\nThen the ambush began,\nAnd each eager young fan\nStarted asking me out on a date.", "id": 3970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The dog on TV I just saw\nWith nettles stuck into his paw\nWalked two thousand miles\nTo his family, all smiles!\nBut my friend just responded with \"Aw.\"", "id": 3971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "King Kong, that colossal gorilla,\nOnce battled the mighty Godzilla.\nThe lizard fought well,\nBut fell prey to the smell\nFrom Kong's armpit; that is, his axilla.", "id": 3972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The wheel, an important invention,\nNeeds a spindle, I hasten to mention,\nAt the center\u2014you're lucky,\nThe axle's just ducky\nFor joining your wheels and suspension.", "id": 3973, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Any affable fellow like Bill\nIs so kind, he'll inspire goodwill.\n But an off-able guy\n Might be fated to die,\nSince he's someone who's easy to kill.", "id": 3974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The amphibrach's driving this meter.\nIt certainly isn't eliter\nThan iamb or trochee.\n(Hey, check out this bloke! He\nHas limericked the thing! What a cheater!)", "id": 3975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "This report serves as strong ammunition,\nAs it shows the defendant was fishin'\nOn the day of the crime\nAt the same exact time\u2014\nOh, forget it. He signed an admission.", "id": 3976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Comprehension of gesture has gaps?\nLack of empathy causing some flaps?\nKeeping rigid routines;\nDon't get jokes, lack the means?\nYou have Asperger's syndrome, perhaps.", "id": 3978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Awesome is something exalted,\nWhile awful is terribly faulted\nAnd wrong, like a run of\nBad jokes (like the one of\nTwo peanuts, and one was assaulted).", "id": 3979, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Your axioms tell what you take\nAs the principles nothing can shake:\nWhat your proofs presuppose\nBefore seeing what flows\nFrom the logical waves in their wake.", "id": 3980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When Frodo went off with the Ring,\nHe was aided by Steward and King,\nThree hobbits, an elf,\nThe Wizard himself,\nA dwarf \u2014 and a sword he called Sting.", "id": 3981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In acid you'll see it turn red.\nIn a base you will find that instead\nIt changes to blue.\nThat's what litmus will do\u2014\nIt's a fine amphichroic, I said.", "id": 3982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An antre's a cavern or cave.\nTo enter, you'll have to be brave:\nAn ogre resides\nIn its sombre insides.\nYou'll be cantering into your grave.", "id": 3983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Yes, it's true, I miscue. I confess.\nFor a few that's a cause for distress,\nBut for every mistake,\nA correction I make;\nI'm a striver for accurateness.", "id": 3984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "A chef with panache has invented\nA way to serve flavored and scented\nMock sushi that's printed\nOn cornstarch that's tinted,\nAppetizingly rolled and presented.", "id": 3985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "I've adapted to extra pollution\nAnd threats to our great Constitution,\nBut I just can't get used to\nThose folks who refuse to\nTeach children about evolution.", "id": 3986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cat", "limerick": "If you're walking around late at night\nIn Arabia, that's not so bright.\nIf you must, then take care,\nFor a demon lurks there:\nAn afreet may just give you affright!", "id": 3987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The alpha male heads up the pack,\nHaving made a successful attack.\nHe may gorge in excess,\nBut the perks come with stress:\nHe can never stop watching his back.", "id": 3988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When getting a transplant, autologous\nIs better than merely homologous.\nSee, here's what they do:\nThey put back into you\nWhat was yours.  (It sounds almost tautologous.)", "id": 3989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Anonymice aren't in the wall;\nThey don't squeak as they sneak down the hall.\nThey just mumble and schmooze\nAnd get quotes in the news,\nWith no name and no number to call.", "id": 3990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Now here's a remarkable thing:\nIn these times when the burglar is king,\nApiculturists know\nThat their beehives won't go\u2014\nFor what robber would risk such a sting?", "id": 3991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Armigeral duties are dire:\nYou're knackered, through some knight's desire\nThat you carry his armour\u2014\nYou're only a farmer\nWho fancied the title \"Esquire.\"", "id": 3992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Bardic scholars in old Aberystwyth\nKnew some lips that they yearned to be kissed with.\nThey saw them each day\nDown by Cardigan Bay\nOn a girl they all longed for a tryst with.", "id": 3993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Does it set off a skirt or a suit\nFor a look that is dashing or cute?\nBe you lady or gent,\nThat is not what is meant\nBy the odd term accessory fruit.", "id": 3994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Said he: \"mumble mumble-dy date,\nMumble seventy mutter-tum late.\"\n   Said I: \"I can't hear you,\n   Though standing quite near you!\nTry speaking more audibly, mate.\"", "id": 3995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "She wheedled for truth 'neath the bower.\n\"Plight your troth,\" she exclaimed, \"thou avower.\n  Thou lov'st me, now swear it!\"\n \"So much I can't bear it!\nI'm taking cold showers each hour.\"", "id": 3996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As his butt hit the road, he felt pain\nFrom his coccyx way up to his brain.\nAnd the asphaltic chips\nThat got stuck 'tween his hips\nMeans from sitting he'll have to abstain.", "id": 3997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "On the right side you see many keys,\nBut the buttons lay left\u2014dare you squeeze?\nPush the bellows\u2014move air.\nOut come polkas\u2014beware!\nThe accordion's playing, oh geez!", "id": 3998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Anarchism's simply explained,\nBut to many, the term has been stained.\nSo for those who'd rebel,\nHere's the meaning I'd tell:\nInteractions should not be constrained.", "id": 3999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "In a car run by sunlight we toured.\n\"Yes, our solar cells' strength is assured!\nTheir absorbance is vast,\nSo less light will get past.\"\nOn we sped \u2014 'til the sun was obscured.", "id": 4000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "A Victorian lass with ennui\nApathetically murmured, \"Ah me,\nI just couldn't care less\nFor forfeits or chess;\nI so wish they'd invent the TV.\"", "id": 4001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Awkward age names that stage of your life\nIn which problems with pimples are rife,\nAnd your parents and teachers\nAnd fast-changing features\nAnd hormones are causing you strife.", "id": 4002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "I bred a new pink amaryllis\nThat hosted a deadly bacillus.\nIn my lab, just one sniff\u2014\nOnly one tiny whiff\u2014\nWas more than sufficient to kill us.", "id": 4003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a peppery T. rex souffl\u00e9\nAt the Upper Jurassic caf\u00e9,\nBut of avian things,\nArchaeopteryx wings\nAre the spiciest, far and away.", "id": 4005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All the metals called alkaline-earth\nAre infrequently mined for their mirth.\nTell beryllium jokes\nTo those West Aussie folks\nAnd you'll barium all down in Perth.", "id": 4006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a beautiful girl in the choir\nWhose angelic voice sets me afire.\nFor her I am burning.\nWith love I am churning.\nI'll explode if she sings any higher.", "id": 4007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The acting direction was rage,\nBut I bawled through each line on the page.\nMy thespian muse\nHad me singing the blues,\nWhich continues\u2014without any wage.", "id": 4008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "O aerenchyma, glorious tissue!\nDrowning plants would be happy to kiss you!\nSwapping gases in roots\nFor the ones in their shoots,\nYou assist them when flooding's an issue.", "id": 4009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "He was anguished. It showed in his frown.\nWith his weeping, I feared he might drown.\nWhen I asked \"It's your health?\"\nHe said, \"No, it's my wealth....\nI got screwed when the market went down.\"", "id": 4010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Icelanders often are told\nOf the Althing, a body that's old;\nIt's their parliament, sturdy\n(Been there since 930),\nA concept progressive and bold.", "id": 4011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I know an old man from Dubuque\nWho claims he is not antinuke.\n\"Blow 'em up,\" he will say,\n\"Like 'em better that way!\"\nOne can tell at a glance he's a kook.", "id": 4012, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "So Skinny and Fat-as-a-Sow\nHave agreed to amalgamate now.\nFor Fat's share of beef stock,\nLank traded its leaf stalk;\nThey milked all the cash from the cow.", "id": 4014, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I relish a stroll near the lochs,\nAs long as I'm joined on my walks\nBy my lassie named Campbell\nWhose passion's to ramble\nWith argyle designs on her socks.", "id": 4015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Aplysia are snails in the sea,\nAnd each day, at a quarter past three,\nAll these rabbit-eared critters\nEat watercress fritters\nWith cucumber slices for tea.", "id": 4016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By thousands, our limerick spree\nHas made us quite giddy, you see.\nOur apogee? No!\nWe've a long way to go,\nAs we rhyme our way onwards to Z.", "id": 4017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Although amphora sometimes referred\nTo a jug with two handles, the word\nMeasured volume for Greeks\n(And as jugs may spring leaks,\nMeasured less, when in Rome it occurred).", "id": 4018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Young Christopher, strollin' with Doyle,\nFound an asbolin hole in the soil.\nThis wood-sooty oil\nSet their tempers aboil:\nIts removal demanded much toil.", "id": 4019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Consider the tiny arcella:\nA semi-transparent old fellah.\nWith his tough outer skin\nHe's amoebic within,\nAnd he looks like a little umbrella.", "id": 4020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With his botany grad student Alice,\nSteve hunted for Amorphophallus.\nThis bug-eater's genus\nMeans \"misshapen penis.\"\n\"Et tu?\" wondered Alice, with malice.", "id": 4021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "As a poet, I've now reached my acme.\nAnd if versemongers scruple to back me\nIn my claim to be best\nI have just one request:\nSince I've no other skills, please don't sack me!", "id": 4022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Days gone by, needful guys asked for aidance,\nAnd for digging their soil used a spadance.\n(The latter's not true,\nTo be honest with you,\nBut it fits pretty well in the cadence.)", "id": 4023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "We often don't notice it's there,\nBut at times, when we're breathing the air\nAnd it's sadly polluted\nBy brothers who pooted,\nA sign should be posted: Beware!", "id": 4024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A pine needle needled a cone\nIn a \"hey-deedle-deedle\"-ish tone.\nThis acerose nettling\nThe cone found unsettling\nAnd sighed a lugubrious groan.", "id": 4025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The harlot was quick to applaud\nAfter sex with her trick; she was awed\nBy his prowess. Poor chap\u2014\nHe contracted the clap!\nFor his condom, quite clearly, was flawed.", "id": 4026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The drug runner's abject depravity\nFilled customs officials with gravity.\nHe staged quite a tantrum\nWhen, searching his antrum,\nThey found some cocaine in that cavity.", "id": 4027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A nutty old codger named Alec\nWas prone to feel joy amygdalic.\nAll almonds he tasted,\nBaked, salted and pasted,\nHe loved [format that in italic].", "id": 4028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Your alveary, darling, has bees!\"\nShe told me; I answered, \"puh-leeze!\"\nThen she said, \"Not your ear,\nBut your beehive, my dear,\"\nWhich directly relieved my unease.", "id": 4029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Lara Croft tiptoed soft through the tomb\nBut before she encountered her doom,\nShe cried, \"Tiny adyta\nBug me. I've had it! A\nWoman like me needs some room!\"", "id": 4030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Two asters are joined by a spindle;\nNo color their junction does kindle.\nOh small amphiaster,\nDivide ever faster,\nAnd never mitosis will dwindle!", "id": 4031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By some, Lawrence Welk was \"a bore\" named;\nBy others, \"a man to adore\" named.\nBut he first became fabled\nWhen earlier labeled\n\"A-one, and a-two, and aforenamed.\"", "id": 4032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At its center, the ship shook with crunches\nFrom sailors with Lay's, munching bunches.\n\"From now on, amidships\nI'll have to forbid chips,\"\nThe captain declared, \"with your lunches.\"", "id": 4033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A fuzzy Shakespearian dog\nSaid \"Forsooth!\" to a chattering frog;\n\"Strident froggie, thou didst\nCroak a chorus amidst\nAll the peas in this soupiest fog.\"", "id": 4034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A coal-mining Kiwi named Dickie\nFound ambrite, a paste, very sticky.\nAs Dickie did clamber\nFor fossilized amber,\nIts resin stuck fast to his picky.", "id": 4035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The gate at the neighborhood zoo\nHad been trampled and rendered askew.\nSaid the zookeeper, Fred,\n\"If our gnus have all fled,\nThen we must find another, anew.\"", "id": 4036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Dracula wrote his life story,\nHe told of Romanian glory\nAnd blandishments total\n(Although anecdotal);\nThe neck bit was needlessly gory.", "id": 4037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I bought from the bank an annuity:\nAn annually paid perpetuity.\nThe clerk, an ex-doorman,\nComplained, \"What's the score, man?\nYour paperwork's done\u2014no gratuity?\"", "id": 4038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With eating skills truly fantastic,\nHis weight-gain was verging on drastic.\nWhat made this so rummy?\nThe pants round his tummy\nWere lined with a band anelastic.", "id": 4039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Some anarchists saw through the prism\nOf organized labor; a schism\nDeveloped, whereby\nProudhon wondered why\nNot have anarcho-syndicalism?", "id": 4040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cliff-dwelling housecleaning Hopi\nHad slipped, since his doorway was soapy.\nThis poor Anasazi\nFell down just because he\nHad pulled up his rope\u2014pretty dopey!", "id": 4041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I hung from an ancon, then after\nI said this, was greeted with laughter:\n\"You swayed from a sheep\nJust like Little Bo-peep?\"\nNot a sheep, but a crossbeam or rafter.", "id": 4042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Fear not! Here goes nothing, say I.\nAsk not, await not my reply.\nIt's not a catastrophe,\nIt's only anastrophe:\nSyntactically, slightly awry.", "id": 4043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Betrayed by imaginings flighty,\nHe clamored to see the alcaide.\nThe innkeeper laughed:\n\"'Tis no fort. Don't be daft!\nIn your head, my good sir, you're not righty!\"", "id": 4045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Eight polyps on each branch of coral,\nWith patterns delightfully floral,\nAre alcyonarian.\nBeautiful? Very\u2014an\nUndersea diver'd not quarrel.", "id": 4046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our love for algology flaming,\nTo classify kelp we were aiming.\nFrom Maine to Eugene,\nOh, the seaweed we've seen!\nAnd each alga we'd see we'd be naming.", "id": 4047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Most kids on the last day of school\nFind it difficult keeping their cool.\nThen they run like all get-out\nUpon being let out,\nUnwound like a string from a spool.", "id": 4048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The acolyte held out a tray\nWhile the priest blessed the host on that day.\nHe said, \"If you falter, boy,\nI'll find a new altar boy\nTo capture the wafers that stray.\"", "id": 4049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I play althorn,\" I proudly declared,\nAnd a brassy \"a-room-bah\" I blared.\nHe said with a snigger,\n\"My baritone's bigger:\nA-RRROOOOOMMM-bah!!!!\" I meekly despaired.", "id": 4050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The recent expanse of my thighs\nLed my husband to notice their size.\nHe made an allusion\nAbout their obtrusion\nAnd mentioned my fondness for pies.", "id": 4051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Young Bartleby Bourne's a bit touchy\nConcerning his uncle's archduchy.\nHe burned five estates\nOn a jaunt with his mates:\nThis was, thought the Duke, a bit muchy.", "id": 4052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"My congregants long for a beacon,\"\nSaid the priest to the elder archdeacon.\n\"In the Bronx, they all claim\nThat the bishop should name,\nTo succeed you, a young Puerto Rican.\"", "id": 4053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Neville learned the reverse of \"big cheese\" meant\nThat when Hitler requested an easement\nThrough Czechoslovak',\nAnd he said \"That's just talk,\"\nHe'd be cursed as the worst, for appeasement.", "id": 4054, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The punctilious pizza preparer\nFilled rival preparers with terror.\nWith skill Apollonian,\nAll pepperonian\nPortions were sliced without error.", "id": 4055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Greenwich, the timekeeper powers\nThe clock generator, then showers.\nHis work doesn't end\n'Til he meets with a friend\nAt the club they attend after hours.", "id": 4056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To kill insects, you'll want it because\nIt kills insects: that's what the stuff does.\nJust stir up a cauldron\nOf bug-bustin' aldrin.\nOne sip and they'll no longer buzz.", "id": 4057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bluegrass and blackberry weeds\nAre plants without sexual needs.\nWhat gives 'em their kicks is\nProlonged apomixis:\nThey clone, on their own, all their seeds.", "id": 4058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Geology's earliest eon?\nThe era we call the Archaean.\nStromatolites tarried\nIn rocks, which they buried\nSome ancient sublimestone debris in.", "id": 4059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A poetess formed an alliance\nWith a writer for Popular Science.\nThe unravish'd bride\nPraised a toaster with pride\nIn her \"Ode on a Kitchen Appliance.\"", "id": 4060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Mao delivered a stern allocution\nPortending severe retribution.\nThe crime that he spoke of\nWas making a joke of,\nIn limerick form, revolution.", "id": 4061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Had Noah decreed on a lark\nThat horses should purr, cats should bark,\nAnd beagles should neigh,\nThen what would we say?\nAn anarch amok on an ark!", "id": 4062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I wish all this rain wouldn't fall so;\nIt's driving my nerves up the wall so.\nA deluge of dogs\nIs drenching my togs,\nAnd cats are cascading down also.", "id": 4063, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Atlantis sank under the sea,\nBut I've just staked a claim by decree.\nWith delusions of grand-\neur, I've annexed that land:\nTo discover it, pay me a fee.", "id": 4064, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and David Schildkret", "limerick": "While two men were out walking abreast,\nThey debated whose torso looked best.\nSaid Arnold, \"It's mine!\"\nLeading Tarzan to whine,\n\"No, it's mine!\" and start thumping his chest.", "id": 4065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "HeuristicsInc", "limerick": "Hey, I'm innocent! What's with this \"crime\"?\nI was some other place at that time.\nI first washed my hair,\nThen I went to the fair.\nI've got alibis, Judge \u2014 and they rhyme!", "id": 4066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Abolitionism: that is our creed.\nOn enslavement we all have agreed\nIt's a God-given right\nTo be free from that plight:\nEvery person in chains should be freed.", "id": 4067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A steakhouse called Porter and Son\nHas been merged with the bookstore I run.\nWe make money like crooks\nWith our stake in rare books.\nThe amalgamator's job was well done.", "id": 4068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "There's a resin that's used to make paint\nAnd adhesives.  My only complaint?\nThey took alkyl and joined\nIt with acid and coined\nThe word alkyd:  Poetic it ain't.", "id": 4069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"You must alkalinize,\" he would cry,\n\"To get over a bad UTI.\"\nThen he'd pound on his podium,\n\"Citrate of sodium\nSends your pH to the sky!\"", "id": 4070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If the Torah's law leaves you perplexed,\nThen the learned halacha's your text;\nBut if it's a peek\nAt the folklore you seek,\nThe aggadah's the thing to read next.", "id": 4071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "What's an alkane? I'll give you a clue:\nHydrocarbon.  Need more? This'll do:\nOpen chain (aliphatic),\nAnd non-aromatic,\nAnd CnH2n+2.", "id": 4072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Those who seek expertise arbitrational\nTell me troubles in tones conversational.\nThen they pay me my price\u2014\nAnd ignore my advice.\nIt's a hazard, I fear, occupational.", "id": 4073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Comrade Engels devoutly maintains,\n\"You have nothing to lose but your chains!\"\nHe's an anti-imperialist\nMarxist materialist,\nLoosening monarchies' reins.", "id": 4074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Standardbred horse is no rotter:\nHe runs just as fast as he oughter.\nHambletonian 10\nWas the first one, and then\nHe begat the American trotter.", "id": 4075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "We chased the American dream:\nIt shimmered its confident gleam.\nOur folks emigrated;\nOur hopes were inflated\u2014\nThey rose, then they curdled like cream.", "id": 4076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Though you may think I'm being facetious,\nAnd using a term that is specious,\nIf all of your life\nYou've exploited your wife\nLike a parasite \u2014 friend, you're autoecious.", "id": 4077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Oscar the Ostrich was awed\nAnd felt awfully awkward abroad,\nBut an ostracised auk\nWith an Austrian squawk\nMade this awestricken ostrich applaud.", "id": 4078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A celebrity's alcoholicity\nMay earn him unpleasant publicity,\nAs the tabloids report\nHis career's been cut short\nBy huge levels approaching toxicity.", "id": 4079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "A flood swept the gardens I grow\nWhen rain burst the stopbanks. The flow\nMeans the road is awash\nWith my onions and squash.\nActs of God are unfair. I'll re-sow.", "id": 4080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My boss was offensive and rude.\nWhen he sacked me his language was crude.\nI was mildly astonished\nTo be thus admonished,\nJust for going to work in the nude.", "id": 4081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Horny Hal faced, with mounting frustration,\nThe uncomfortable realization\n(Having struck thirty strikes)\nThat for him, the verb likes\nWas an antisymmetric relation.", "id": 4082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and mike scholtes", "limerick": "An  annular eclipse of the sun\nBy the moon is a bit underdone.\nThere's a circle of light;\nLunar distance ain't right,\nSo the umbra's apparent to none.", "id": 4084, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Agnoiology ponders the flow\nAnd the ebb of the things we can't know:\nSuch as \"Wherefore a rose?\"\nOr \"Do Martians wear clothes?\"\nOr \"Does God have a really big toe?\"", "id": 4085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Bearing ads that they hope to make pay,\nLurking links lead our surfing astray.\nThey're the sirens that tease\nOn the binary seas.\nTrim their sales, me lads!  Anchors away!", "id": 4086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A seal makes a hole in the ice\nAnd then pokes his head through once or twice.\nThe aglu is there\nSo the seal can get air.\nBut get me to attempt it?  No dice!", "id": 4087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Me fine Jolly Roger tattoo meant\nI knowed what \"attack an' pursue\" meant.\nI gained great repute,\nNot t' mention the loot.\nArr, a crew meant a life of accruement!", "id": 4088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If a miner puts posts with his name\nOn a vein that he hopes will bring fame,\nAnd then drives a pole down\nThrough the ground for renown,\nWould we say that he's staking acclaim?", "id": 4089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Rash wanton!  Abandonly dance!\nBe reckless, unguarded, and prance\nAround the whole room.\nYou will lighten my gloom,\nAnd I'll laugh if you trip on your pants.", "id": 4090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Montezuma's cute daughter I beckon;\nShe can't understand me, I reckon.\nShe sits there before me\nBut seems to ignore me\u2014\nI wish I could speak in Aztecan!", "id": 4091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If a Greek or a Roman buffet be\nWhere downhearted girls are, then maybe\nTo ask one to dine\nYou should ask, \"Come recline\n(That's accumb) with me, melancholy baby!\"", "id": 4092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If you find overwhelming temptation\nIn things that defy explanation\u2014\nA ghostly bell's toll,\nOr the glow of the soul\u2014\nThat's a sign of an aural fixation.", "id": 4093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An airburst, I'm sure you'll agree,\nIn the sky over land or the sea,\nIs truly sensational\nAnd quite inspirational\nIf by chance you're named Francis Scott Key.", "id": 4094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Check activity\u2014strong, doesn't flop?\nHas a pulse? And his heart will not stop?\nDoes he grimace and blink?\nHis appearance is pink?\nHe's respiring? His APGAR is top.", "id": 4095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "Said the doctor, \"You don't have the flu,\nAlthough you have aches through and through.\nSad to say, John Calhoun,\nYou are autoimmune.\nThe source of your trouble is you!\"", "id": 4096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "A playwright who wrote with facility\nBegan showing signs of senility.\nHis final construction,\nA role-less production,\nWas clearly without actability.", "id": 4097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "I was granted a wish by an elf,\nAnd was changed to a plant on a shelf.\nNow, come breakfasting hour,\nI use chlorophyll power,\nAutotrophically feeding myself.", "id": 4098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My sex life is hardly exotic\u2014\nIt borders, in fact, on robotic\u2014\nBut it doesn't seem fair\nThat there's no-one else there;\nThe process is autoerotic.", "id": 4099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The stocks and supplies remain high.\nThere's a plentiful, copious supply\u2014\nAn abundance, in fact,\nAnd nothing is lacked,\nAnd the well simply never runs dry.", "id": 4100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "You can call me a grouch or a cynic,\nBut if daffodils need an auxinic\nSo their cells will form shoots\nAnd elongate for roots,\nThey can get their own ride to the clinic.", "id": 4101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your addiction persists 'round the clock\nAnd your cravings, you say, you can't block.\nYou've got needs hyperbolic?\nJust pick your -aholic\nThere's alc-, shop-, work-, food-, sex-, and choc-.", "id": 4102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"As an archbishop does\"? That sounds queer.\n\"Archbishopally\"? Now, see here:\nForget that malarky.\nThe right term is archi-\nepiscopally. Is that clear?", "id": 4103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "An agate's no gateway, you see,\nBut a gemstone with markings quite free.\nMade of quartz, it's diverse,\nIt's not hard on the purse,\nAnd it's said to quell tempests at sea.", "id": 4104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "My skin isn't apt to seduce,\nWith these blisters that ooze and peel loose.\nI've tried all sorts of gunge,\nFrom green mud to axunge\u2014\nStill, I'd rather be me than the goose.", "id": 4105, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Andradite often is seen\nWith a brownish-grey crystalline sheen.\nIt's a garnet that's found\nBuried deep underground;\nAs a gemstone it's most often green.", "id": 4106, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I used to use colons erratically\nUntil someone advised, diplomatically,\nThat I study the ways\nThey are used now-a-days.\nNow I use them with ease, automatically.", "id": 4107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Wine's complexity's thought to be due\nTo the heaps of dead yeast that accrue.\nAs the cells decompose,\nThe autolysate grows,\nAnd this goo adds a nose to the brew.", "id": 4108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I gave you permission to write,\nFor I knew it would bring me delight;\nBut your voice is so shrill,\nLike a dentist's new drill\u2014\nNo one authorized you to recite!", "id": 4109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The aandblom's a delicate flower\nThat blooms in the gray twilight's hour.\n\"Painted lady\" we name her,\nBut not to defame her\u2014\nHer perfume will ne'er overpower.", "id": 4110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Miriam Schildkret", "limerick": "An abridgeable work should be mended.\nIt's too long, and you wish it were ended\u2014\nLike a three-hour quiz,\nOr Act One of Les Miz,\nOr a limerick that ends with two anapests more than intended.", "id": 4111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Richard Nixon's is eight-ninety-five.\nGerald Ford's is worth less (he's alive).\nI collect and I traffic\nIn things autographic.\n\"John Hancocks\" I sell to survive.", "id": 4112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When the judge said, \"Describe your attackers,\"\nI replied they were fans of the Packers\nWith heads made of cheese.\nThe jury said, \"Jeez!\"\nAnd awarded me thousands of smackers.", "id": 4113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The home-owning music professor\nBecame, all at once, an aggressor.\nWhen told that his taxes\nWould treble, with axes\nHe levelled the luckless assessor.", "id": 4114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "With my left eye, the distance is clear.\nWith my right, I can see what is near.\nOphthalmologists wink,\nAnd they envy, I think,\nMy anisometropic career.", "id": 4115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An acrodont lizard named Keith\nHad fangs with no sockets beneath.\nThey stuck fast in his jaw,\nBut that wasn't a flaw:\nIt's the place where these guys keep their teeth.", "id": 4116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Some arm-twisting helps to convert\nOne whose mindset you want to divert,\n  But no real arm's attacked\n  With this lev'raging act,\nSo seldom is anyone hurt.", "id": 4117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When mallet on knee is capricious,\nMy reflex can make me suspicious.\n  This kick autonomic\n  To doctors seems comic;\nIt strikes me they're being malicious.", "id": 4118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Swampy Okefenokee's a place\nWhere Agkistrodon vipers enlace.\nThere the cottonmouths cuddle\nAnd copperheads huddle:\nResisting the cold, they embrace.", "id": 4119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the pain sense is dulled: analgesia;\nWhen the memory's absent: amnesia;\nIf a duct, or the gut,\nOr an iter is shut,\nThen we call the condition atresia.", "id": 4120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Unless they're infected with rabies\nOr crazed from a case of the scabies,\nThese shepherds from Oz\nAre a favorite because,\nUnlike dingoes, they won't eat your babies.", "id": 4121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Ayrshires are milkers, I've read,\nHardy cattle the Scottish have bred.\nThey're at ease in the stall,\nWith good udders . . . that's all\nI recall off the top of my head.", "id": 4123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You live in a mansion or palace\nIn the South Texas city of Alice,\nIf your house has wood floors\nAnd the plumbing's indoors.\n(That's a joke that they tell up in Dallas.)", "id": 4124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Reverend Spooner would switch\nThe first letters in phrases he'd pitch,\nTurning dearest old queen\nInto queerest old dean.\nHis ass-backward locutions were rich.", "id": 4125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "This waiver I'll sign proves I knew\nWhat aforementioned risks might just do:\nI might drown, or could die\nFalling out of the sky.\nAnd because I'm aware, heirs can't sue.", "id": 4126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Since egg whites are kind of inhuman,\nEat yolks and avoid the albumen.\nThe whites are just yucky,\nAll slimy and mucky.\nTo see this, you don't need acumen.", "id": 4127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some farmland had suffered abuse\nThrough poor management methods profuse,\nThe term agricide meant\nThat the land was all spent,\nWhich then made it unfit for farm use.", "id": 4128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If despite all appeals arbitrational\nYour relations are still confrontational,\nYou can vent all your spite\nIn the memoirs you write,\nGaining fortune from schisms sensational.", "id": 4129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He says that my charms are enduring\nAnd even my warts are alluring.\nHe says love will stay\nAnd bad breath go away.\nEvery troll needs a mate so assuring!", "id": 4130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"Is that all?\" asked the doctor aversively,\nPooh-poohing my symptoms subversively.\nSo I let out a groan,\nAnd I slammed down the phone,\nAnd I wrote a complaint to him, cursively.", "id": 4131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "From Ahava, the Hebrews left Babylon.\nEzra herded both nobles and rabble on.\n\"As there's no time to tarry,\nTake nothing to carry\u2014\nNot even a board to play Scrabble on.\"", "id": 4132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "A hog peanut? Please let me define:\nIt's the common name used for a vine.\nFrom America \u2014 North \u2014\nAnd from Asia comes forth\nAmphicarpa, which likes to entwine.", "id": 4133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A Scotsman, wassailing on Bute,\nRaised his rye to the sky, in salute;\nWhen from out of his flask\nPopped a slithery ask.\nHe ran after the newt, in pursuit.", "id": 4134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge and Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Most actinides tend to decay\nThrough radioactivit\u00e9.\nThey're a group most unstable\nWay down on the table\nWhere heavier elements stay.", "id": 4135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a chicken inspector named Lou\nWho's contracted an avian flu.\nNow he's sick as a bird\u2014\nPretty plucky, I've heard,\nThough there's little the doctors can do.", "id": 4136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Though clearly a failure esthetically,\nThe opus was viewed sympathetically\nBy old Mr. Prewett,\nWho soundly slept through it,\nAnd found it ideal, anesthetically.", "id": 4137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A duck with no beak would still waddle.\nA snail with no shell would still dawdle.\nBut take off the tail\nFrom the duck or the snail,\nAnd what you have left is acaudal.", "id": 4138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "An astute, analytical guy\nEarned repute as a suit (FBI).\nHe suggested a scheme\nWhose success was extreme:\n'Twas a sly sting, a spy ring to fry.", "id": 4139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia and olwen", "limerick": "You're a boxer, a physical lad,\nBut the Wheel's winning phrase has you mad.\nSo you ask for an \"O\"\u2014\nIt's for \"awesome,\" you know\u2014\nBut your spelling's not awesome, it's bad!", "id": 4140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some alfalfa's exactly the thing\nThat your cattle are hoping you'll bring.\nIt could also convey\n(With a capital \"A\")\nThat \"Our Gang\" kid who thought he could sing.", "id": 4141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By gradations of color in paint\nFrom heavy to middling to faint,\nPerspective is shown\nWith an aerial tone.\nWhat appears to be distant just ain't.", "id": 4142, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "This plume on my rear's an affliction,\nIt's not just an artist's depiction.\nI've tugged and I've scratched,\nBut it's firmly attached.\nNow you dare say my tale is affixion?!", "id": 4143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "My lawyer was never concerned.\nHe just smiled as the jury returned.\n\"Court adjourned! You may go,\"\nGlared the judge, former foe\u2014\nFor my freedom was purchased, not earned.", "id": 4144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Adesmy means plant parts that fuse\nAs a whole or in part.  Some leave clues\nTo an elegance wrapped\nIn slick ways to adapt.\nThere are others that merely bemuse.", "id": 4145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When I first heard the name, I innately\nKnew that Azerbaijan must be stately.\nWell, it took me a year,\nBut I'm finally here.\nI'm an Azerbaijani-come-lately.", "id": 4146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "Win the artsy and craftsy first prize\nBy employing creative supplies.\nUsing items found 'round\nIn designs that astound\nLeads to riches \u2014 if somebody buys!", "id": 4147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl and man from tashkent", "limerick": "Get used to this polar location,\nThe cold and the bare isolation.\nThe snow's off the chart,\nSo you might as well start\nAcclimation to life at the station.", "id": 4148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "King Aethelred hems and he haws\nAnd is dubbed \"the Unready\" because\nHe pays off the Norse\n(And the Danish, of course)\nTo his countrymen's hoots and guffaws.", "id": 4149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and BobHale", "limerick": "While an amateur's new to his game,\nHe's imagining fortune and fame.\nIn his golf or his tennis\nHe plays  with such menace,\nBut he'll never succeed \u2014 what a shame!", "id": 4150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "Although I'm no expert, no, sir,\nSeems to me, from what I can infer,\nIf you're forward and pert,\nYou avow to assert,\nBut when taking a vow, you aver.", "id": 4151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your acetylcholine's proceeded\nFrom one nerve to the next when you've needed\nFor your heart rate to slow\nAnd your tear ducts to flow.\nBut be careful \u2014 your toileting's speeded!", "id": 4152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As he sat in a state of seclusion,\nAn anchoret suffered delusion.\nThis recluse's home\nWas a pillar in Rome\n'Til he jumped to a fatal conclusion.", "id": 4153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "O sailor, with hard, calloused fist,\nYou're not partial to card games like whist.\nAble-whackets you choose,\nBut watch out you don't lose:\nIt will earn you a slap on the wrist.", "id": 4154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "In Glasgow, they know it's their duty\nTo fight against Satan (Auld Clootie).\nThey tell that old foe:\n\"Ye know where ye can go!\nOn yer way, ye can kiss mah patootie.\"", "id": 4155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Said Eve unto Adam one night,\n\"This apple's a luscious delight!\nIt's sweet and nutritious,\nA Golden Delicious.\nYou want a bit?\" \"Sure, I'll abite.\"", "id": 4156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My favorite psychic, named Clare,\nIs an augur beyond all compare.\nThat's why I was shocked\nWhen a customer knocked,\nAnd Clare promptly inquired, \"Who's there?\"", "id": 4157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Abney's invention we'll revel:\nHe was truly the cleverest devil.\nSurveyors employ\nWilliam's spirited toy\u2014\nHis clinometer's keen, on the level.", "id": 4158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If you wish to become a librarian,\nYou must first be an abecedarian.\nShelve the books  A, B, C...\nAnd not Z, F, H, G...\nOr the patrons will think you're barbarian.", "id": 4159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Said the preacher, a saintly old elf,\n\"Put the matches back up on the shelf:\nI say self-immolation\nIs no consolation\u2014\nYou'll just make an ash of yourself.\"", "id": 4160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "He lifted his head at my whistle,\nThen darted away like a missile.\nHe was chasing a cat\nWith his ears laid back flat;\nEvery hair on his neck was abristle.", "id": 4161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Can the symbol Au ever be\nMore than gold to the chemist in me?\nI'll say yes and acknowledge\nIt's also a college:\nAmerican U. in D.C.", "id": 4162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They toll the apocalypse bell\nAnd fight to a grand fare-thee-well.\nAre Christians the saved\u2014\nTheir path being paved\u2014\nWhile everyone else goes to hell?", "id": 4163, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Artaxerxes: five Shahs bore this name.\nOne lost Thrace to the Greeks (oh the shame!)\nThen the next killed his brother.\nThe third? Killed his mother!\nThe fourth and the fifth? Much the same.", "id": 4165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I've put vitamin pills in this jar,\nSome water, some rocks, and some tar.\n  Now I stir with a knife\n  Till it blooms with new life\nAnd autogeny makes me a star!", "id": 4166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "If steak is the meal of the day,\nBuy Aberdeen-Angus, I'd say.\nTo start with good cattle\nIs most of the battle,\nThen cook it in just the right way.", "id": 4167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "An Anglican vicar you'll see\nIn a parish that's termed \"C of E.\"\nHe may have a wife\nTo assist with the strife\nAnd invite you to afternoon tea.", "id": 4168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Qermaq", "limerick": "My lawyer and I were concerned:\nHad my ticket to freedom been earned?\nThe judge raised his head,\nBanged his gavel, and said,\n\"Not guilty! This court is adjourned!\"", "id": 4169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ms. Amelia Earhart in flight\nWas an aerodynamic delight.\nAn incredibly skilled\nAviatrix, she thrilled\nUs on high and then vanished from sight.", "id": 4170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I can't move my foot (I'm not jokin'!)\nBy the heel, where the doctor is pokin'.\nSee, I slid into trouble,\nMy foot hit some rubble\u2014\nMy ankle got mangled and broken.", "id": 4171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "\"That singing, nicht gut! Now atone!\"\nHerr Konduktor sneered down from his throne.\nJenn \"atonal\" misheard,\nSang (no penitent word),\nAnd most promptly the exit was shown.", "id": 4172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Latin tussis means phlegm will abound,\nAnd you'll hack, and your chest you will pound.\nFor such tosse or tos\nWhile abroad, have a dose\nOf the great antitussives around.", "id": 4173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My bedroom was terribly messed.\nBut \"Mom doesn't know,\" I had guessed.\nI was wrong; 'twas my doom\nWhen she yelled, \"Clean your room!\"\nWell, I pouted, but then acquiesced.", "id": 4174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Our mission: with verses five-lined,\nEnglish words, one and all, are defined.\nDefinitions all swarm\nIn a limerick form\u2014\nLord, this site is just one of a kind!", "id": 4175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Any goal that you feel needs achieving\nTakes patience and will interweaving,\nAs when waiting in line\nHaving had too much wine\u2026\nAchievement can be quite relieving.", "id": 4176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An abacus is a computer,\nHand-driven and simple (and cuter\nThan our modern PCs),\nWhich you hold on your knees \u2014\nBest learned from a nice Chinese tutor.", "id": 4177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Baker", "limerick": "Accostable? That's my friend Jack,\nHe'll chat and then welcome you back.\nFor some help or a natter,\nEspecially the latter,\nChoose him, as he does have the knack.", "id": 4178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Heloise's and Abelard's passion\nWas not a 12th century fashion.\nUncle's fury was great\nAt the girl's pregnant state,\nSo he cut off their amorous ration.", "id": 4179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "In a bid to stop scurvy at sea,\nCaptain Cook packed his Vitamin C,\nStocking lemons and limes,\nEven cabbage at times.\nThey're all antiscorbutic, you see.", "id": 4180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The antepenultimate word\nOf this limerick isn't absurd,\nOr even befriend\n(Though that's nearer the end):\nIt's just it's\u2014counting back, it's the third.", "id": 4181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "To the reign of Queen Anne, naught compares\nWhen it comes to fine tables and chairs,\nBut in matters dynastic\n'Twas less than fantastic:\nShe'd plenty of grace but no heirs.", "id": 4182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"My buttons,\" the countess said, \"Ought\nTo be pearl, or else I'll be distraught.\"\nBut the count, lacking cash,\t\t\t\t\nTold her, \"You'll make a splash\t\nIn abalone\u2014they're just as well wrought.\"", "id": 4183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "Said the manuscript expert: \"Indeed,\nAn Americanist's what you need.\nThis was 'Printed in Maine'\nAnd could not, it is plain,\nHave been owned by the Venerable Bede.\"", "id": 4184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "A suffix, from algos (that's Greek),\nFor a \"pain that affects your physique.\"\nStomat-, merocox-, plant-,\nKerat-, neur-, enter-, pant-:\nWith these -algias, your future looks bleak.", "id": 4185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "An anacoluthon \u2014 I'll show\nWhat this means. When you start with \u2014 although,\nJust as soon as you reach \u2014\n(Less in writing than speech) \u2014\nWith a different sentence, you know?", "id": 4186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The area measure, the are,\nHas an area ten metres square.\nTake ten and you'll make a\nNot-quite-quarter acre.\nA hundred?  A hectare is there!", "id": 4187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "If the party turns out to be kegless\nOr the booze is drunk down till you're dregless,\nAll 41 gallons\nOf an aam's quite a challenge.\nYou will end up both aamless and legless.", "id": 4188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "She said \"Dust!\" but she didn't just mean\nThat she wanted no dirt to be seen.\nShe meant scrub, scrape, and shine,\nDisinfect it with pine\u2014\nIt must be antiseptically clean.", "id": 4189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Antiplague, antiplaque, antipress,\nAntisnob, antistrike, antistress,\nAntithis, antithat,\nAnti-\"my aunty's cat\" \u2014\nI'm anti this faux anti-ness.", "id": 4190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "His dad, I guess, gave him a start in\nHis chosen career, by impartin'\nA love of the word,\nAnd perhaps the absurd:\n\"Call the next one Dead Babies, young Martin.\"", "id": 4192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Angelica: flavoursome root,\nWhich, in herbal concoctions, will suit\nMost medicinal needs\u2014\nNot your typical weeds.\nAnd it's good eaten candied, to boot.", "id": 4193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Said the doc to his mate, \"It's because, Mick,\nYou've got no sense of smell: you're anosmic.\nYou can't sniff a whiff;\nWhy, it's almost as if\nThe receptors are blocked in your schnoz, Mick.\"", "id": 4194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Makes me feel like a damn ignoramus,\nLooking up all these names: \"Kingsley Amis\"...\nHey, I recognise him\u2014\nYeah, he wrote Lucky Jim!\nSee, I knew I'd find somebody famous.", "id": 4195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Paul Simon once said to his pal,\n\"Wrap me up in aluminum, Hal.\nYes, wrap me in foil.\nBe careful! I'll spoil!\nVery good. Now you can call me Al.\"", "id": 4196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If they're idle, it's simple to send 'em\nAn item to do, or agendum.\nIf they're quick to insist\nThey need more on their list,\nThen we plan to append an addendum.", "id": 4197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If ever a fracture knit badly,\nWho'd suffer re-fracturing gladly?\nHow's bone anarrhexis\nAccomplished in Texas?\nBy running you down with a Bradley!", "id": 4198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Of their ayness, an angel or ghost\nCan to mortals forgivably boast.\nThough their lives last forever,\nWith God they will never\nCompare\u2014he'll be ever their host.", "id": 4199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since you study and love avocado,\nYou are labeled \"aficionado.\"\nThough as most hobbies go,\nAvocados seem slow,\nYou proceed with esprit and bravado.", "id": 4200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "1 and 2, 3 and 4, 5 and 6,\nAnd 7, 8, 9\u2014take your picks:\nThey're all that we've got\n(Which adds up to a lot)\nIn the Arabic numeral mix.", "id": 4201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I was told by my history professor\nAlexander the Great's antecessor\nWas Philip the Second\nAnd not, as I'd reckoned,\nAlexander a Little-bit Lesser.", "id": 4202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you find that your engine's awry\nAs your copter descends from the sky,\nLet the airflow impel\nYour propeller: it's swell\nTo give autorotation a try.", "id": 4203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Autoxidation, a chemist will swear,\nCauses brownish-red flecks here and there.\nIf you tell her it's just\nThe formation of rust,\nShe'll say, \"Yes, through exposure to air.\"", "id": 4204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Have you seen an auroral display,\nPolar lights like a floral bouquet?\nSuch a sight to behold,\nIt can scarcely be told\nIn words written or oral. Outr\u00e9!", "id": 4205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He chews audibly; isn't that gross?\nHis expression is always morose.\nIf there's some kind of pill\nTo improve him, I will\nMost determinedly give him a dose.", "id": 4206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amnioscopy, one would assume,\nWill allow us (with lenses that zoom)\nTo encounter the face\nOf the kid we'll embrace\nWhen it finally vacates the womb.", "id": 4207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When their love affair lost all its fizz,\nThey sat back-to-back, Mr., Ms.;\nAsyndetic together,\nSans chemistry tether:\nShe went on her way; he went his.", "id": 4208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To find food, to find mates, friends, or foes,\nSpiny lobsters can't sniff\u2014they've no nose.\nTwo antennular pairs,\nChemosensory hairs,\nNote the odors in saltwater flows.", "id": 4209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "There are all sorts of aphanite rocks.\nA microscope image unlocks\nTiny crystals that we\nCannot otherwise see:\nThey're this igneous stone's building blocks.", "id": 4210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An affricative sound we may hear\nIn cherry, and also in jeer.\nBoth C-H and J\nAre pronounced in this way;\nStopped before, and then hissed at the rear.", "id": 4211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "It helps how your muscles will feel,\nBut use caution: the danger is real.\nRub aconite on\nAnd your pains may be gone\u2014\nBut don't eat it, or that's your last meal.", "id": 4212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My nose\u2014like the moon, how it gleams!\nI need to be powdered, it seems,\nFor this is my credo:\n\"Reduce your albedo.\"\nReflection won't further my schemes.", "id": 4213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Working hard is a thing I do well,\nUnlike some who think loafing is swell.\nAn accomplisher, see,\nIs the thing to call me,\nFor at getting things done I excel.", "id": 4214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The guys pass him by with a \"Hi, Gus\";\nOf the gals, not a one calls him \"my Gus.\"\nHe's alone, by himself,\nFirmly stuck on the shelf.\nI suppose you could call him azygous.", "id": 4215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "I nibbled a bit on her auricle\n(As foreplay, licked ears are historical).\nBut just then\u2014oh my dear,\nWhat I feared I might hear\u2014\nShe complained, \"You have slobbered galorical!\"", "id": 4216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Form holds, over taste, no hegemony.\nFor example, the sun isn't lemony.\nSome actiniform creatures\n(With radial features)\nTaste rubbery, though, like anemone.", "id": 4217, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I bought a new fish for my tank,\nAnd I dumped it right in, but it sank.\nAcclimation, it seems,\nIs important for breams.\n(I fished this one out 'fore it stank.)", "id": 4218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen and Qermaq", "limerick": "The anzac's a sweet biscuit treat,\nAnd I'll bake some for people to eat.\nIt takes less than an hour.\nMix  syrup and flour\nAnd oats with some coconut meat.", "id": 4219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An aardvark? Now I have a hunch\nThat OEDILF features none in the bunch.\nIt's not hunting for limes\nOr unbearable rhymes,\nJust some sweet little anties for lunch.", "id": 4220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An assortative method of mating\nMeans non-random, assigned by some rating.\n Be it similar traits,\n Or most opposite mates,\nEither way, it's less tricky than dating.", "id": 4221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "My archnemesis caused this disaster,\nMy worst enemy, armed with a blaster.\n But the city I'll save\n And put him in his grave;\nI'm the Flash, and I'll win 'cause I'm faster.", "id": 4222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many restaurants love the elite.\nThe A-list don't wait for a seat.\nWhenever they're spied,\nThey are ushered inside,\nWhile the rest of us stand in the street.", "id": 4223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"I'm the king of alphitomancy!\"\nSaid the man in the bar to his fancy.\n\"My dear, I'm a seer\nWhen I've had enough beer,\nAnd your future without me is chancy.\"", "id": 4224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They're as cocky as tinhorns, my friend,\nWith an arrogance meant to offend.\nThey're son-of-a-bitches\u2014\nToo big for their britches.\nLet's hope they're exposed in the end.", "id": 4225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Feds had a Ness on the clock,\nWhile the Scots have a Ness that's a loch.\nSaying \"accurateNESS\"\n(With fourth-syllable stress)\nAin't exact or correct. It's a crock.", "id": 4226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a show-off says, \"Nitrogen's found\nIn this compound where atoms are bound.\nThere's a ring made of five;\nAnd I'm hip to the jive!\"\nThen you know there's an azole around.", "id": 4227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some people indulge in achar.\n(No names, but you know who you are.)\nIt's an Indian pickle\nSo pungent one lick'll\nConvince you it's choicest by far.", "id": 4228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine and olwen", "limerick": "There are some who think Afghans are rugs,\nOr people whose cash crop is drugs.\nI think biscuits for lunch,\nCocoa-flavoured with crunch;\nTop with walnut. Serve coffee in mugs.", "id": 4229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My wife said, \"I'm lacking in flair.\nI want Jennifer Aniston's hair.\"\nI replied, \"If you want\nA celeb look to flaunt,\nGo for Pamela Anderson's pair!\"", "id": 4230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abduction's a serious crime,\nAnd a perp can expect to do time:\nMany years, God forbid,\nIf he's kidnapped a kid\u2014\nMaybe none if the victim's a mime.", "id": 4231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Though they tend to stay right where they are,\nArmchair travelers want to go far.\nFilled with wanderlust dreams,\nThey warm seats and plan schemes\nTo save money for plane, room, and car.", "id": 4232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For these limericks we'll make no apology;\nLet's collect them to make an anthology!\nEach anapest phrase\nWill delight and amaze!\n(Set to music, they'll add to hymnology.)", "id": 4233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "First we rode in a carriage, then sailed;\nAt each stage of the journey they wailed.\n\"Are we there yet?\" they cried.\nBut I simply replied\n\"Children, no, we have not yet abayled.\"", "id": 4234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When preparing your hounds for the hunt,\nAbaiting's a pretty good stunt.\nLet 'em sniff at the prey;\nThey'll run better that way\n(Just be certain you're not out in front).", "id": 4235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Since you come to our plays every day,\nWe salute you, our new abonn\u00e9.\nYou've panache, you've got class,\nYou've a new season pass,\nAnd admission is cheaper that way.", "id": 4236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "It's aventurine\u2014feldspar or quartz\nWith bits in (my tour guide reports).\nIt's goldstone; it's sunstone;\nIt's mica-flecked fun stone;\nJust look at the sparkles it sports.", "id": 4237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "AKM is a name some may know\nAs AK-47. Although\nIt is old in design,\nStill this rifle fires fine,\nAs some terrorist groups love to show.", "id": 4238, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Lover, flee!  for our luck is but scanty.\nUse the tunnel from under the shanty.\nWe've played fast and bold.\nBut our castle will fold\nFrom our enemies razing the antae.", "id": 4239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail and Qermaq", "limerick": "With ardour I gaze on thee, love;\nAn angel thou art from above.\nTell me not 'tis all over!\nI was ever the rover\u2014\nI'm the cat amongst pigeons, my dove.", "id": 4240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our aunt of a hundred and one\nBanned our antics before they'd begun.\nShe dismissed any chat\u2014\nAnti-this, anti-that,\nAnti-bliss, anti-brat, anti-fun!", "id": 4241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Michael Jackson must live in a dream,\nAnd he sure doesn't lack self-esteem.\nWell-known as a whacko,\nHe's taken, this Jacko,\nAutolatry to an extreme.", "id": 4242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If your weeds like to soak up the sun,\nUsing atrazine frustrates their fun.\nIt was sprayed on the farms,\nBut it caused greater harms\nTo the farmers; today it's on none.", "id": 4243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If beset by a chest-thumping swell\nWho demands I say \"uncle,\" I'll yell,\n\"To propitiate you\nI'll avunculize, too:\nSee, I'll act like an uncle as well!\"", "id": 4244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"To Avalon Arthur's proceeding\nWith injuries, mortally bleeding.\"\nSo closes Le Morte\n(A misleading report,\nBut it makes for magnificent reading).", "id": 4245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "With his boatload of know-how at sea,\nAble-bodied is Seaman McGee.\nHis skill-set entails\nClimbing ropes, hoisting sails,\nAnd attaching his peg to his knee.", "id": 4246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "All the moms at the circus are awed\nBy the tigers that circle, bare-clawed;\nBut the sequin-legged thing\nUpside-down on a swing\nAlways causes the dads to applaud.", "id": 4247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Small-town opera: we wanted to sing\nA new aria writ for the king.\nAnd then just as we'd sought,\nThe king's conscience was caught.\nIn this hamlet, the play's not the thing.", "id": 4248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're drowsing \u2014 been browsing our site\nFrom near noon to the dark of the night.\nNow you're moved to create?\nThen you're authorized, mate:\nKeep those author eyes open and write!", "id": 4249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "\"I saw you,\" she seethed with a glare.\n\"Yes, I saw you.  I know you were there.\"\nAs I stood there and stared,\n\"I blame you,\" she declared.\nShe accusatively sealed my despair.", "id": 4250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The welder was such a great cynic,\nHis mask wasn't adiactinic.\nHe scoffed at the bright\nUltraviolet light\u2014\nNow he's sightless, contrite, at the clinic.", "id": 4251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Should you see a long neck like a snake\nGlide along in a swamp or a lake\nAnd then dart like a streak\nWith a fish in its beak,\nAn anhinga you've found, no mistake.", "id": 4252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I carried my hide to a tanner,\nWho tanned in an affabrous manner.\nHis workmanlike skill\nWas adroit; but his bill\nIn the works interjected a spanner.", "id": 4253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Casablanca is ageless they say.\nIt's a true patriotic display.\nIts agelessness means\nThat each one of its scenes\nReflects values still valid today.", "id": 4254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A thing that's abridged can't be shorter:\nThink of football games minus a quarter,\nOr a limerick that shines\nWith only four lines.", "id": 4255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The OEDILF members\u2014long we all toiled.\nOur word-cauldrons bubbled and boiled.\nBut an anagram made\nOf our acronym stayed\nOut of reach\u2014our ambitions were FOILED!", "id": 4256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'd say aqua's an odd sort of hue.\nAnd variants?  More than a few.\nIt's all colors between\nA light bluish green\nRight on up to a light greenish blue.", "id": 4257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "According to Justice O'Connor,\nAcademicianship's truly an honor.\nShe's a law school post-grad\nAnd, as well, she has had\nMany other degrees heaped upon her.", "id": 4258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Let's throw the bums out\u2014they must go!\"\nCried an anti-incumbent named Joe.\n\"Their corruption I spurn;\nI demand a return\nTo those jerks we had four years ago.\"", "id": 4259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a collector named Otto\nWho bought an expensive old Giotto,\nWhich he hung on the wall\nAs a warning to all,\nSaying: \"Don't go to auctions when blotto.\"", "id": 4260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Old women succumb to anility\n(A loss of their mental ability).\nSo find them good nurses,\nBut don't touch their purses\n(They fight with a splendid hostility).", "id": 4261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I once knew a talented fella\nWho sang by himself a cappella.\nWithout breaking sweat\nHe'd perform a duet \u2014\nHow he did it is too rude to tell-a.", "id": 4262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The old-fashioned term abolete\nHas performed a linguistical feat:\nThrough protracted disuse\nIt has lost all its juice\nAnd become what it means:  obsolete.", "id": 4263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The Romans, in classical pose,\nWore togas, as everyone knows.\nThe toga's for gentry;\nFor peasant or sentry,\nAbollas were clothes that they chose.", "id": 4264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An aasgier cock cares for his brood\nWhen he cracks ostrich eggs for their food;\nThrowing stones with his beak,\nHe persists till they leak\nAnd their ostrichy liquids exude.", "id": 4265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A composer of works rather spare\nProduced scores, but the pages were bare.\nThough his fans all adored him,\nMusicians implored him,\n\"Oh please, won't you give us the air?\"", "id": 4266, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Consider the poor autogyro;\nIt appeals less to airline than tyro.\nThese aircraft with motors,\nPropellers, and rotors\nWon't get you from London to Cairo.", "id": 4267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Do we need the word acclimatation?\nWe've already acclimatization.\nIt's one syllable less,\nSaving time, I would guess,\nFor today's \"on-the-go\" generation.", "id": 4268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "If Christchurch is making you ill,\nOr Greymouth is losing its thrill,\nAnd you want to swap sides\nTo the opposite tides\u2014\nArthur's Pass goes right over the hill.", "id": 4269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An annihilator seeks to destroy\nQuite directly, without being coy.\nHe is steadfast of mind\nAnd leaves nothing behind\nBut his Mephistophelean joy.", "id": 4270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Altamira's located in Spain.\nYou can reach it by bus or by train.\nThere you'll find art that's mythic\nWhere paleolithic\nCreations of cavemen remain.", "id": 4271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"I vant to be alone,\" Garbo said,\nExcept with her lovers in bed.\nNo husbands had she,\nAnd of children stayed free.\nLoved or not, she remained quite unwed.", "id": 4272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The tanning of hides, alutation,\nIn a less-common manifestation\nMay expose nether regions\nOf Danes and Norwegians\nWho lie on a beach on vacation.", "id": 4273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "The wheel is a famous invention,\nBut the axle, you'll note, by extension,\nIs the pivotal shaft\nThat turns wheels into craft\nAnd really deserves equal mention.", "id": 4274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Both my Mustang and Bronco run free.\nThrough the wind flies my Thunderbird, whee!\nThough Explorer is nice,\nExpedition's my vice.\nLife affords the best Fords if you're me!", "id": 4275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The drive made my head so much achier\nThan my arms and my legs, which felt shakier\nThe longer I spent\nHandling curves as I went\nDown a road that could not be much snakier!", "id": 4276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The polar explorer was ranting\nOf his compass's needle un-canting\u2014\nSo aclinic and level.\nHe said, \"What the devil?\nNo wonder my sled dogs are panting.\"", "id": 4277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "She loves me. She doesn't. I seek,\nIn pulled petals, an answer unique.\nSince I stop as I feel,\nIs this auspice for real,\nOr an artifact of my technique?", "id": 4278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bone that is deep in the ear\nNever gets much attention, I hear.\nVery small (second fiddle),\nIt sits in the middle,\nLike New between Happy and Year.", "id": 4279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If it's 12-meter yachts that you race,\nThen New Zealand's a marvelous place,\n'Cause down under they're up\nOn America's Cup,\nIn which Kiwis keep setting the pace.", "id": 4280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're autodidactic you burn\nWith a powerful passion to learn.\nYou will read by yourself\nEvery book on the shelf,\nFrom Cervantes to Shakespeare to Verne.", "id": 4281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Take a paper and write her a note;\nMake some folds to ensure it will float;\nToss the message her way.\n(An air letter can say\nWhat you can't with a lump in your throat.)", "id": 4282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The descent from the plane is exciting;\nThere's a thrill even still in alighting.\nSurely nothing can top\nA good parachute drop\n(Except possibly limerick-writing).", "id": 4283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Walking slowly, in fair or foul weather,\nHeathcliff ambled all over the heather.\n\"Is that Catherine there?\nI've been told by Jane Eyre\nThat we're destined to amble together.\"", "id": 4284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm stuck on an overnight flight;\nI can't smoke and I'm getting uptight.\nThere's a cig in my hand,\nAnd I've planned, when we land,\nTo be first to alight for a light.", "id": 4285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Whenever you're feeling neurotic\nOr maybe a trifle psychotic,\nJust drive yourself deep\nInto self-induced sleep,\n'Cause it's hip to be autohypnotic.", "id": 4286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "All these limericks!  Golly!  Good grief!\nThey're so metrical, cheery, and brief.\nI have got an aversion\nTo rhyming immersion:\nSome blank verse would be a relief!", "id": 4287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Some arsenic\u2014As\u2014can kill you.\nIn similes, as might enthrill you.\nAnd Samoa, the isles\nOf American smiles\n(Code AS), will refresh and bestill you.", "id": 4288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They say that the biggest bird born is\nThe ostrich, whose feet suffer soreness\nFrom onerous weight,\nSo imagine the fate\nAnd the feet of the late aepyornis.", "id": 4289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A few Highlanders hadn't a care\nAs they trekked down the Clyde to the fair,\nWhere they ambled around\nIn a town on the sound,\nAnd declared, \"Now we're walking on Ayr!\"", "id": 4290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I've got this condition demonic,\nMy damn diabetes is chronic.\nMy blood sugar's high,\nThere's a pain in my thigh,\nAnd my urine is quite acetonic.", "id": 4291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It is Alfred the Great who now reigns\nOver land not controlled by the Danes.\nHere in 886,\nEngland's out of a fix\nAnd in store for some cultural gains.", "id": 4292, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A lopsided lady named Greer\nHas breasts of two sizes, I hear.\nHer unusual pair\nMeans she simply can't wear\nAn axisymmetric brassiere.", "id": 4293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "As the doctor is making her rounds,\nShe stops at a bed and expounds,\n\"This patient, you see,\nHas amusia: he\nCannot comprehend musical sounds.\"", "id": 4294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A curate who came from Capri\nWas an expert in math (Ph.D.!).\nThe Sunday collection\nHe'd count with perfection,\nFor an accurate curate was he.", "id": 4295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Archaeology looks for remains;\nOne kind uses photos from planes.\nAn aerial view\nMight just offer a clue\nTo the presence of stone walls and drains.", "id": 4296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The Avebury circle of stones\nMight move you to soften your tones.\nAn avenue leads\nFrom the henge, which succeeds\nIn encompassing many unknowns.", "id": 4297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alagoas, a state in Brazil,\nIs a place where the gals love the thrill\nOf the sambas they dance,\nWhile the guys find romance\nIn the \"beautiful game\" and its skill.", "id": 4298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This place was the westernmost spot\nIn the country, believe it or not.\nWashingtonians claim,\n\"Well, whatever its name,\nThat's an Alava cape that we've got.\"", "id": 4299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here in North Carolina I've found\nA locale where the porgy abound.\nIt's an inlet so great\nThe Atlantic can wait\nWhile I'm fishing in Albemarle Sound.", "id": 4300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a woman is asked to betroth,\nShe might fly at her flame like a moth,\nOr if shy and demure,\nVeil her face and stay pure\nBy availing herself of a cloth.", "id": 4301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The stars will be shining in here\nWhen the officers start to appear.\nAir chief marshal? He leads.\nAir vice-marshal proceeds,\nAnd air commodore brings up the rear.", "id": 4302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When breezes conspire to blow,\nBits of pollen from flowers may go\nOn to fertilize plants\nThat are different. That's chance\nAnd allogamy running the show.", "id": 4303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A diviner who watches a crow\nWill observe all its habits and know\nFrom its eating and flight\nWhat the future will write.\nSuch an auspice can prophesy woe.", "id": 4304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My sister loves fancy apparel,\nThough I'd be content in a barrel.\nShe opts for designers,\nBut I dress like miners\nOr creatures from, say, Lewis Carroll.", "id": 4305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's a song in which \"words that\u2026my heart meant\"\nIs used as a rhyme for apartment.\nPlease, don't sing it, since\nThat lame phrase makes me wince.\n(It's consigned to my Bad Verse Department.)", "id": 4306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Abolitionists spoke against slavery,\nThat especially cruel form of knavery.\nThey finally won;\nNow the bondage is done.\nLet us laud their conspicuous bravery.", "id": 4307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "If ever you're deemed Addisonian,\nYour life has to be Apollonian.\nYou get steroids by needle,\nPills in cheese (when you wheedle),\nBut your lim'ricks remain pure Oxonian.", "id": 4308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "It was late in the month of Aghan\n(I'm a Hindu in east Yucat\u00e1n),\nWhen through my door's mesh\u2014\nDo I eye great Ganesh?!\nNo, it's only Se\u00f1ora, con flan.", "id": 4309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Every gardener who's sowing some seeds\nThis suggestion quite sensibly heeds:\nAberuncate stray shoots\n(Pull 'em up by the roots)\nOr your plants will be choked by the weeds.", "id": 4310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Greedy mum has become so aurivorous\nShe buys gold with the welfare they give for us.\nThe house has been sold,\nNow it's meat or it's gold . . .\nI don't think I'll be staying carnivorous.", "id": 4311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "An angler was spinning one day,\nFor a while on a stream 'round our way,\nBut he soon found a fly\nWas indeed worth a try\u2014\nAnd then trout was for dinner, I'd say.", "id": 4312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Avidity means you proceed\nOn a path of unquenchable need.\nYou are eager for stuff\nAnd you can't get enough.\nSuch voracity indicates greed.", "id": 4313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Be careful what road you are on\nWhen you travel to Azerbaijan.\nIf you drive to Baku,\nGo from Russia or you\nMight get stuck in the muck of Iran.", "id": 4314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "\"Hank Aaron? He played for the Braves\nAnd the Brewers,\" the baseball fan raves.\n\"Steroid-free, he could drive\nHomers seven-five-five!\"\n(Betcha shirts with two 4's are his faves!)", "id": 4315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An African may be Egyptian\n(They used hieroglyphic inscription),\nBut guys from Liberia,\nBotswana, Nigeria\u2014\nThey also would fit that description.", "id": 4316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"Allow for a little more room\nOn the right,\" said the bride to the groom,\nAs they drove down the road\nTo their future abode,\nBashing cars with tin cans, I assume.", "id": 4317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Said paleontologist Pete,\n\"At least one allosaurus ate meat\nFrom this petrified bone,\nWith these marks once unknown\u2014\nFor they match with these teeth from my suite.\"", "id": 4318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "We're sick of this treatment\u2014the lies,\nThe oppression! Just open your eyes!\nWe shall strike in the park!\nWe'll take power! Anarch-\no-syndicalist workers, arise!", "id": 4319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When told of her husband's indictment,\nAn equestrienne caused some excitement:\nShe threatened divorce\nAnd then fell off her horse\nIn an awkward display of alightment.", "id": 4320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The hot water flows, if I'm gentle.\nThe blinds won't go up, but my rent'll.\nOne neighbor's a strumpet,\nOne's learning the trumpet\u2014\nThe joys of a life apartmental.", "id": 4321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If you seek the right tempo to use,\nAndantino is apt to confuse.\nFor andante you \"walk,\"\nBut at -tino we balk:\nIs it slower or faster? You choose.", "id": 4322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "This birth brings a new situation;\nIt's pointless to feel aggravation.\nThe sooner that you\nBid your free time adieu,\nThe sooner you'll start acclimation.", "id": 4323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I joined up to help the morale,\nAnd they called me an \"Accrington Pal\":\nA corps of renown\nFrom that Lancashire town.\nNot many recall, but I shall.", "id": 4324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When constructing a fungal disease\nAgainst weeds, or perhaps against fleas,\nMake it hunger for food\nThat will not be renewed.\nThis auxotrophy stops a reprise.", "id": 4325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "While marching, a band is inclined\nTo have music alone on the mind.\nKeeping others in sight\nOn the left and the right\nHelps the players stay tightly aligned.", "id": 4326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a date at a beach in Carmel\nWith a guy who'd appeared to be swell,\nI was caught unprepared\nFor intentions he bared\nWhen he opted for au naturel.", "id": 4327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A person avowedly mean\nCan be openly base or obscene.\n  So his neighbors will groan\n  And just leave him alone;\nThus his life will be calm and serene.", "id": 4328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "His annunciatory proclivities\nMade him valued at local festivities.\nAll the folks would rejoice\nAt the sound of his voice\nWhen he called out the list of activities.", "id": 4329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "No Orthodox bishop holds sway\nOver all of the churches today.\nAutocephaly means\nIndependent routines.\nEastern patriarchs go their own way.", "id": 4330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A savage attack, or affret,\nIs the sort of result you might get\nIf you say to a man\nWho's a strong football fan\nThat you think that his team is no threat.", "id": 4331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An agama's a land-dwelling lizard\nWith a typically bright-coloured gizzard.\nIt's this reptile's salvation\nTo change pigmentation\nTo white if it's caught in a blizzard.", "id": 4332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An alewife runs places where ale\nAnd other fine drinks are for sale.\nHer noble profession\nIs in some recession,\nSince landlords tend now to be male.", "id": 4333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abear means to bear or behave,\nTo put up with, endure, and be brave.\nThose things you can't change\nYou must surely arrange\nTo dismiss with a nonchalant wave.", "id": 4334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An evergreen tree is coniferous,\nThe poplar and oak amentiferous.\nThey bear aments (like tails),\nInflorescence with scales,\nBut their beauty in bloom's not splendiferous.", "id": 4335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "I think Janet Reno's erotic.\nI'm afraid of becoming robotic.\nTo me you're all spies\nStealing thoughts through my eyes,\nSo I won't take your antipsychotic.", "id": 4336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "At the dental school I was  attending,\nThe work's not so bad, course depending.\nBut an accident struck,\nAnd I flunked (such is luck),\nAccidentally dental school ending.", "id": 4337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When she went to his loft atelier,\n'Twas a portrait she craved, not a lay.\nBut when \"Strip and I'll paint you\nAnd then I'll acquaint you\nWith bliss,\" he said, she said, \". . .Okay.\"", "id": 4338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's true that these Prague streets are wrecked,\nBut they're far from the worst roads we've Czeched.\nIf we repave the streets,\nOur quick action defeats\nOther avenue avenues spec'd.", "id": 4339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "In a long English river, to date,\nI've bought five little islands \u2014 they're great!\nOn the next one I'm buying\nThe plants are all dying\u2014\nYet I yearn for my sick Severn ait!", "id": 4340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Azedarach stamens are fused\nBy adesmy; its blooms form contused,\nPurplish, pendulous clusters.\nThis noble tree musters\nThe landscaper's pride where it's used.", "id": 4341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When your daughter comes down in the morning,\nSteel washers her nostrils adorning,\nBrass bolts through her ear\n(And her nipples, you fear!),\nYour \"Miss Universe\" hopes die a-borning.", "id": 4342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "No, he hasn't been hitting the bottle,\nAnd he hasn't a problem that's glottal\u2014\nHe built Tenochtitl\u00e1n\nNear Teotihuac\u00e1n\u2014\nHe's an Aztec: he's speaking Nahuatl.", "id": 4343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Abstemious abstention? That's good!\nDrunk debauchery? Bad for the blood!\nSo the moral brigade\nWill lead their crusade,\nChoosing life by the drip not the flood.", "id": 4344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Two backward C's, joined at their toes,\nForm an arrow where middle C goes\nOn the staff, which defines\nAlto clef.  These five lines\nHold viola notes when we compose.", "id": 4345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When shattered, these microclines shiver\nInto green squarish chunks and won't sliver.\nBut amazonite\nIs a name not quite right,\nSince there's none near the Amazon River.", "id": 4346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Arrestment: your lawsuit enjoined\nOther creditors selling stuff poined\nFrom your non-paying debtor.\nYour claim might be better:\nFreeze assets before they're purloined.", "id": 4347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A leg amputee name of Rollo\nWas a fanciful fellow to follow:\nWhen they rolled out a keg,\nHe would take off his leg\nAnd drink Budweiser right from the hollow.", "id": 4348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A lobster had taken a crawful\nOf manners so perfectly awful:\nLike lunching with shellfish\nSo perfectly selfish\nThey clearly begrudged him each clawful.", "id": 4349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An artist whose paintings were aimless\nWas shameless in claiming he's blameless.\nWhen designs were maligned,\nHe asserted he's blind,\nAnd, anonymous, still remains nameless.", "id": 4350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Ayers Rock rises into the blue\nFrom the heart of the Outback, and through\nEarly evening and morning,\nThe colours adorning\nIt captivate: that's Uluru.", "id": 4351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "If you travel the globe, you'll be seein'\nPlant and animal types amphigean.\nThey can thrive in a spot\nWhether frigid or hot,\nAny zone that you'd be on a spree in.", "id": 4352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Aluminum? Blimey, I say!\nYanks simply must learn the right way\nOf naming this metal.\nOn this, let us settle:\nIt's lightweight and silvery-grey.", "id": 4353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "What's aselline? Here's one sort of answer:\nTwo stars near the Manger, in Cancer.\nIt also, alas,\nCan describe a small ass\n(In a field, not attached to a dancer).", "id": 4354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Honduras I knelt by a tree\nWhen a cuckoo alighted by me.\nSeven inches in height,\nIt was black as the night:\nOn a knee, I could see an ani.", "id": 4355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Rousseau, Condillac, and Voltaire\nAll enlightened the French, I'm aware.\nBut in Germany Lessing\n(And Herder, I'm guessing)\nUntangled the Aufkl\u00e4rung's Herr.", "id": 4356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Say dispensers of cod-liver oil\nWhen their cod-fearing children recoil:\n\"Don't be such a critic!\nIt's antirachitic\u2014\n'Gainst rickets, the number-one foil!\"", "id": 4357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A flamingo, a dove, and a hawk,\nAn albatross, penguin, and auk:\nThey're all avifauna,\nCohabiting on a\nFew chunks of Galapagos rock.", "id": 4358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "St. Nick, though inclined to be jolly,\nWill swear at the fruits of his folly:\nThe pricks he receives\nFrom apiculate leaves\nWhen he's decking the halls with his holly.", "id": 4359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An epic impresses with vastness,\nAnd action films thrill us with fastness.\nBut horror of horrors!\nThrow-up-on-the-floorers\nFill film-going hordes with aghastness.", "id": 4360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Leeds, where I first saw The Who,\nThey were shakin' all over\u2014it's true!\nAll their songs were so pulsant,\nAn anticonvulsant\nWas surely a tad overdue.", "id": 4361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I've been reading Persuasion for hours,\nNot neglecting its sweet garden flowers.\nSensibility? Sense?\nI present my defense:\nI've submitted to Jane Austen's powers.", "id": 4362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The crusader who saved me was caped,\nWith two ears on his head that were shaped\nLike a bat's. I told Robin,\n\"My noggin's a-bobbin',\nBewildered, agape, and awhaped.\"", "id": 4363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Before the spaghetti appears,\nPlease enjoy some asparagus spears\nAnd an artichoke heart\nWith some eggplant, to start.\nAntipasti: they're food pioneers.", "id": 4364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The arnica's daisy-like flowers\nPossess many curative powers.\nA person who uses\nThis herb for her bruises\nFeels better within a few hours.", "id": 4365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"In love-making, rhythm is key!\"\nSaid my be-bopping lover to me.\n\"You're so aperiodic,\nWhich isn't erotic.\"\n(At least, though, my jazz isn't free!)", "id": 4366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Take aluminum, cobalt and nickel;\nAdd iron and copper (a trickle).\nIt's magnetically active\n(Like women, attractive:\nBut alnico isn't as fickle).", "id": 4367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Take your vitamins,\" doctors will say,\nBut some drugs get in vitamins' way.\nTo defeat your TB\nOr leukemia, see,\nAntivitamins enter the fray.", "id": 4368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This insect, a hopeless romantic,\nIs clownish and frequently frantic.\nWherever he goes\nHis grotesquery shows\u2014\nHe's an ant, and he's overly antic.", "id": 4369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Sorbonne is still angry at me\nFor pelting the chancellor with brie\nAt my doctoral aulic.\nIt's best not to frolic\nWhen gathering up your degree.", "id": 4370, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An axle's the shaft of a wheel,\nBut an axel has greater appeal:\nIt's the jump of a skater\nWho lands, seconds later,\nWith grace, on the back of the heel.", "id": 4371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Please bury my brother,\" she cried.\nWhen Antigone's plea was denied\nShe took her own life,\nWhich resulted in strife,\nAnd the death toll refused to subside.", "id": 4372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Before there were airplanes or cars,\nFrench soldiers commanded Afars\nAnd Issas, a wedge\nNear the easternmost edge\nOf Africa, filled with bazaars.", "id": 4373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My realtor, Wilfred B. Wrong,\nSold me acres of land for a song.\nWhen next I buy acreage\nAlongside a lake ridge,\nI'll ask him which side it's along.", "id": 4374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My chemistry teachers explain\nThat all austenite mixtures contain\nFerric carbides in steel,\nAnd never conceal\nA novel that's written by Jane.", "id": 4375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Gladstone and Russell suggested\nExtending the vote, some protested.\nAdullamites tabled\nReform, but enabled\nDisraeli's reforms, unmolested.", "id": 4376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A-piratin', mateys, let's go!\nA-sea on the waves high and low \u2014\nA-sailin', a-lootin',\nA-burnin', a-shootin' \u2014\nThen we'll all rush a-shore, land a ho.", "id": 4377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "In an amphitheatrical dream,\nThe dramatist (you) has a scheme:\nThe actor (you, too)\nIs in everyone's view\nAs you play out a tragic Greek theme.", "id": 4378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "My fiancee's a reference librarian\nWho delights in things abecedarian.\n Our love's alphabetized,\n So I'm hardly surprised\nHOW to HUG is the volume she's carryin'.", "id": 4379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Just a second ago you weren't there,\nNow you apparate next to my chair.\n When you swiftly appear\n I'm left cringing in fear;\nBy your movements I'm caught unaware.", "id": 4380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "While our astronauts travel in space,\nYou'll see aquanauts probe the sea's base.\n But my favorites, all told,\n Sought the fleece made of gold;\nAll the Argonauts voyaged with Jase.", "id": 4381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a nucleus, set to divide,\nJust splits up all the stuff that's inside,\nAnd when splitting again\nMakes no chromosomes, then\nWe will find amitosis implied.", "id": 4382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cat", "limerick": "An affected young actor named Shay,\nThrew THE most exquisite par-TAY.\n\"Oh DAH-ling, do come!\",\nHe enthused to a chum,\n\"If you don't, I'll be forced to pleurer!\"", "id": 4383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Aspiration refers to the puff\nThat we make when a stop's not enough\u2014\nWhy the p that's in pit\nIs unlike that of spit\u2014\nBut its conscious control can be tough.", "id": 4384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A composer who felt quite ignored\nTook a cue from the chap they adored,\nWrote a fourth (but more plump),\nHad one voice leap that jump \u2014\nAnd was duly run through with a sword.", "id": 4385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Enunciate means to speak well.\nAnnunciate means to foretell.\nDon't speak of \"pronouncing\"\nWhen meaning \"announcing,\"\nAnd always take care when you spell.", "id": 4386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ask \"How much?\" and the salesman is floored;\nAt Versace's, such gaffes are deplored.\nHere's a little advice:\nIf you must ask the price,\nThen it's something you cannot afford.", "id": 4387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "My abdominoplasty and some\nLiposuction have flattened my tum.\nMy face may be saggy,\nMy eyes may be baggy,\nBut my stomach is tight as a drum.", "id": 4388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Now their image in school has been wrecked,\nAnd their classmates have lost all respect.\n'Twas a slip, we infer,\nThat adjoined him to her:\nSeems their braces got caught while they necked.", "id": 4389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The Elephant Man had been cursed\nWith an illness that couldn't be nursed.\nThough he lived with deformity\u2014\nGruesome abnormity\u2014\nSome say his heart suffered worst.", "id": 4390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "As a man about town I am cursed;\nMy pickup lines all sound rehearsed.\n\"Do you come here a lot?\"\nIs the best that I've got,\n\"Let's accorporate, baby!\" the worst.", "id": 4391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Asthenia's seen when you're ill.\nToo weak to just swallow a pill,\nYou're thin and don't eat,\nTo read is a feat;\nYou feel like you've been through the mill!", "id": 4392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If a monarch who's accident-prone\nTakes a tumble while riding alone,\nAnd he dies, with no heir,\nThen the monarchy's where?\nIn abeyance: no king on the throne.", "id": 4393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "A one and a one and a one\nAnd a one and a one and a one\nAnd a one and a one\nAnd a one and a one\nEqual ten.  That's how adding is done.", "id": 4394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "We have all heard the phrase acid rain\n(It poisons the ponds up in Maine).\nBut the ice and the snow\nCan be acid, you know;\nPrecipitation's more apt, though less plain.", "id": 4395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a cell reproduces, it's neat.\nWithout sex, it's a masterful feat.\nGather round me today;\nMeet a spore on display.\nBoys and girls, can you say \"agamete\"?", "id": 4396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This design couldn't be any finer;\nNot a line has a flaw, even minor.\nAll my domino rows\nAre so straight that it shows\nI'm becoming a master aligner.", "id": 4397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My astronomy prof isn't shoddy;\nHer class isn't boring or ploddy.\nI just can't absorb it\u2014\nI go into orbit\nObserving her heavenly body.", "id": 4398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "If for a vacation you seek\nTo be hiking and climbing all week,\nThen tackling this hill\nMight just give you a thrill\u2014\nAnnapurna, the tenth-highest peak.", "id": 4399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "If conditions emerge as propitious,\nPick grapes for a drink abstractitious.\nFerment them at length,\nThen distill to full strength\nTo make brandy that's simply delicious.", "id": 4400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The poet she loves is asthenic;\nNo Olympian he (though Hellenic).\nAlas, his physique\nIs too terribly weak\nTo quench her desires erogenic.", "id": 4401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Australia Day: twenty-six Jan.,\nWhen our land was first settled by man!\n(Hang on, that's not quite right\u2014\nThe first ones who were white:\nFor the rest, the day it hit the fan.)", "id": 4402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "From the moment this scheme came to mind,\nThis word's by the whole thing defined.\nIt's strangely compelling\n(Might yet be best-selling);\nIt's theatre of the most absurd kind.", "id": 4403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"Kitchen countertop's cracked,\" said the critic.\nSo, in shopping for something granitic\nThat would cover the block\nWith pastel fine-grained rock,\nI obtained and installed the aplitic.", "id": 4404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When acridine orange fluoresces,\nCell nucleotides it assesses:\nOne-stranded glows green,\nAnd two strands, orange sheen\u2014\nNo need to resort to mere guesses.", "id": 4405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Elderberry pie's rich juices ooze\nUp through slits in its crust; now this news:\nRecent research reflects\nAntiviral effects\u2014\nPurple pigments attenuate flus.", "id": 4406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The caribou, reindeer, and moose\nAre antlered and nibble on spruce.\nAfter lovemaking fervid,\nThat rack on a cervid,\nDeciduous, soon will come loose.", "id": 4407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "As Sandi sat stroking the pup,\nAffectional urges surged: \"Yup,\nI'll buy him,\" she said,\n\"And I'll get a dog bed,\nAnd Manolo high heels to chew up.\"", "id": 4408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When Albula (or bonefish) scales shimmer\nAnd a breeze sets the water a-glimmer,\nIn the mangrove lagoons\nThey hide out from raccoons\nAnd the equally hungry black skimmer.", "id": 4409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Uncouth, he's inclined to appall,\nSo offensive graffiti he'll scrawl.\nOn the nursing home door\nHe writes swear words galore;\nFor his elders, he cares bugger-all.", "id": 4410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a pound, count the ounces you eat;\nIn an ounce, count the drams that you meet.\nJust imagine the joys\nUsing avoirdupois\nIf it's sixteen you're after \u2014 it's sweet!", "id": 4411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At the Grange Hall, a farmer named Buster,\nA dyed-in-the-wool antitruster,\nWould bash Standard Oil:\n\"They profit; we toil!\nDon't trust 'em! Just bust 'em!\" he'd bluster.", "id": 4412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said the fan, \"I adore Lucy Lawless!\nAs a Warrior Princess, she's flawless!\"\nShe's sort of okay,\nBut I'm sorry to say\nThat for Lucy I'm awfully aweless.", "id": 4413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In November, our sweethearts we kissed;\nAnd then later, our kids reminisced.\nNow we've faded away,\nBut on Armistice Day\nBy a few we're remembered and missed.", "id": 4414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "His graphing ability's lax; he's\nAll tangled in minis and maxis.\nThe curves are awry\nBetween x, z, and y:\nHe's convinced of the evil of axes.", "id": 4415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the Pyrenees, humans declared:\n\"Lacking tools, we'll stay huddled and scared.\"\nAurignacians made blades;\nThey made needles and spades.\nA new Stone Age's path was prepared.", "id": 4416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When your inquiries run in a line\nOr your street's of a spacious design,\nWhat you have is an avenue.\n(There, now I have a new\nWord that I needn't define.)", "id": 4417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "As a teen, I had never been kissed.\nThen a girl took ahold of my wrist,\nAnd she said, \"Dearest Tim,\nPlease stop looking so grim!\nIf you'd like, I'll be glad to assist!\"", "id": 4418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "\"You're merely an irksome atonalist!\"\nDetractors would frequently moan o' Liszt,\nBut his works for the fiddle\nPut him right in the middle\nOf the \"Albums of which I'm the owner\" list.", "id": 4419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Great Amun (in Greece he was Zeus)\nHad the head of a ram, lots of juice,\nLots of gutsiness, gall,\nWhich he wouldn't at all\nHave displayed with the head of a goose.", "id": 4420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "How we mourned our Australian terrier\nOn that day we at last had to bury 'er.\nOur gray canine chum\nLeft us downcast and glum,\nAnd the mailman decidedly merrier.", "id": 4421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meg Beagle and Carol O", "limerick": "In this era of terror and panic,\nWhen our government often acts manic,\nKeep awareness on high\nAnd not just for a spy\u2014\nWatch for leaders who turn messianic.", "id": 4422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "My humans have started restricting\nThe yapping with which I'm afflicting\nThose who hear only \"barks\"\nIn my witty remarks.\nThey'll all soon be bored, I'm predicting.", "id": 4423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Uncle Vlad has a sneer for a smile\nIn that famed Transylvanian style.\nWhen his insults turn biting,\nHe seems uninviting\nBut begs, \"Von't you stay for avile?\"", "id": 4424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Auspiciousness seems situational.\nWin the lottery? Sounds inspirational!\nThen wifey divorces,\nYou lose on the horses\u2014\nYour hopefulness?  Not so sensational.", "id": 4425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "That it came from the French I could glean,\nBut I couldn't tell what it might mean,\nSo I asked my friend Serge,\n\"Que veut dire 'un auberge'?\"\nAnd he said, \"It's an \u2014 'ow you say? \u2014 inn.\"", "id": 4426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To judge by its sound, avenaceous\nMust mean \"venal, avenging, audacious.\"\nBut no, it denotes\nOnly \"of or like oats.\"\nThe impression, it seems, was fallacious.", "id": 4427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Now, in alcoholometry class,\nThe professor provides you a glass.\nYour job is to measure\nThe ethanol pleasure\nWithin, either volume or mass.", "id": 4428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The arrivers are those who appear\nOn the scene to a great joyous cheer.\nWhether early or late\nTo a great party date,\nLet the fun now begin...they are here!", "id": 4429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Though an A-frame the house was to be,\nWith the builder I could not agree!\nNow the home has renown\n'Cause it's built upside down\u2014\nA mistake reading prints made it \"V\"!", "id": 4430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "That big chip on Lee's shoulder is key\nTo his sniping and pettiness, see?\nNow he argues with all\nTo the verge of a brawl;\nHe reacts argumentatively.", "id": 4431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The medical texts, I deplored.\nEven worse were the boards I abhorred.\nBut the worst of my training,\nWhich peaked my complaining:\nTuition I couldn't afford.", "id": 4432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My future ex-wife did avouch,\n\"I'll make no bones about it \u2014 don't slouch! \u2014\nI think you're perverse,\nGross, aversive, and worse \u2014\nYou don't listen\u2026Hey, feet off the couch!\"", "id": 4433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Easy credit cards helped to provoke\nA balance so large I could choke.\nThe damn things, I despair,\nAre accessibly there!\nI must cut them in two \u2014 or go broke.", "id": 4434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When a bird uses ants for its preening,\nIt's after their acid, not cleaning.\nThis isn't absurd\n(It's called \"anting,\" I've heard):\nIt produces insecticide screening.", "id": 4435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Transfusions, though often propitious,\nWhen blood types don't match are pernicious.\nAgglutinability\nLeads to debility:\nBlood cells will clump somethin' vicious.", "id": 4436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "If Tarzan's the role you pursue,\nThe conventional leg count is two.\nYour right leg would win it \u2014\nI've nothing agin it.\nThe trouble is, neither have you!", "id": 4437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Azotemia's protein collecting\nCuz the kidneys aren't good at perfecting.\nThe glomerular filter\nIs so out of kilter,\nHis frost-colored skin is reflecting!", "id": 4438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My feelings were anchored and strong.\nI was certain our love would last long.\nBut I felt double-crossed\nWhen you shouted, \"Get lost!\nTake a hike!\" So I guess I was wrong.", "id": 4439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "An audiovisual show\nCan instruct you in things you should know.\nSomeone narrates the scene:\n\"You should keep your hands clean!\"\u2014\n\"There's the beep! Turn the knob! Hey, let's go!\"", "id": 4440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Politicians dismantle our trust,\nSpinning lies 'til we cry in disgust.\nAs we tire of the liars,\nThe public acquires\nAn antipolitical thrust.", "id": 4441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "For analogies Philology Pete\nWill compare random things in his street.\n\"Written speech with no quotes,\nLike a horse with no oats,\nIs heading for certain defeat.\"", "id": 4442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the harbor the ships have been steamin',\nAnd tonight all the sailors are streamin'\nAshore to the whores\nWho have gathered in scores\nTo receive in their beds able seamen.", "id": 4443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Having lost all your fingers and toes,\nYou can't stand very well, and it shows.\nYour adactylous paws\nAre now tactile-less claws.\nEven worse, there's no picking your nose.", "id": 4444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Automatic responses may well\nBe conditioned by noises and smell.\nA psychologist's rule\nMentions doggies and drool.\n(The name Pavlov is ringing a bell.)", "id": 4445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The Old Wag, who writes lim'ricks for fun,\nHas been warned. They said, \"Look here, old son:\nKeep on writing manure\nAnd in hell you'll adure.\"\nThis ditty, I'd say, is strike one.", "id": 4446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "There's pollen, dust, dog hair \u2014 oh my!\nAlso lobster and nuts \u2014 I could cry.\nI've been made schizophrenic\nBy things allergenic;\nAt least, so the voices imply.", "id": 4447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "If you're needing to polish some glass,\nOr shine silver, to give it some class,\nUse almagra from Spain\u2014\nRed, with very fine grain\u2014\nIt's a clay that you just can't surpass.", "id": 4448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "\"Drinks are additive,\" Megan explained.\n\"This imbibing cannot be sustained.\n   The more you drink booze,\n   The more life you'll lose.\"\nAnd then calmly, all glasses were drained.", "id": 4449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If the aqueduct crumbled, they'd wheedle,\nEntreat, pay a bribe to, or needle\nThe honcho in charge\nOf the works by and large\nThat were Roman and public: the aedile.", "id": 4450, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A chemist and champion slalomer\nJust couldn't be sadder or solemner.\nAs he skied down the hill,\nThe acrylamide twill\nIn his parka reverted to polymer.", "id": 4451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Avant-garde, avant-jazz, avant-mime,\nMeans the thing is ahead of its time.\n  But these verses I write\n  Are so nifty, they might\nBe considered to be avant-rhyme.", "id": 4452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The automobile is obscene\u2014\nAn infernal combustion machine!\nIt's a waster of fuel\nThat we need to retool.\n(My new Hummer is emerald green.)", "id": 4454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Arabian lad named Aziz\nBrought the rival Rashid to their knees.\nA mere youth, this ameer\nWould a nation endear,\nAnd his heirs lived a life full of ease.", "id": 4455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The monopolist needed a sedative;\nThe trust-busters' cries were repetitive.\n\"Your market share rose\nWhen you bought all your foes;\nIn a word, you are anticompetitive!\"", "id": 4456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though my cousin, young Bertrand McBean,\nAt lacrosse is a scoring machine,\nThis all-star attackman\nPrefers playing PacMan\u2014\nHis coach thinks that this is obscene!", "id": 4457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Cries Omphale, \"Go clean off the table!\nI know good and well that you're able!\"\nOne look at the dishes\nAnd Hercules wishes\nHe'd passed on Augeas's stable.", "id": 4458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The easterly wind on the seas\nAllows traders to travel with ease.\nBut the winds up above it\nTell sailors to shove it:\nThe antitrades alter their breeze.", "id": 4459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You can ride in reverse on a course\nAnd return from the end to the source.\nSo your head and your rear\nAre ass-backwards (oh dear!),\nWhile the cart is in front of the horse.", "id": 4460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "In Spain, at a bullfight, Jos\u00e9\nBought a drink at a ringside caf\u00e9.\nNot some booze or that ilk\u2014\nIt was coffee and milk,\nKnown by locals as Caf\u00e9 Ol\u00e9.", "id": 4461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Though its language may sound a bit square,\nThe Authorized Version has flair.\nEvery Thee, Thou, and Thy\nBrings a tear to my eye;\nWithout them, you haven't a prayer.", "id": 4462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "As Lord Acton observed so astutely,\nToo much power corrupts absolutely.\nMy boss won't be moved,\nSo the maxim is proved,\nAnd each workday I feel it acutely.", "id": 4463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Hassan il Sabbah led an Order\nThat caused infidels' lives to be shorter.\nHis Assassins, you see,\nWould murder with glee,\nTrusting Allah to be their rewarder.", "id": 4464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Aurora was Goddess of Dawn,\nBut her acolytes now are all gone.\nShe announces each day\nIn a roseate way,\nAnd I answer her back with a yawn.", "id": 4465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Vain artists assert that abstractions\nElicit emotive reactions,\nYet the man on the street,\nViewing art as concrete,\nWill see randomness, noise, and distractions.", "id": 4466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I found it was pointless to cram\nFor my audiometric exam.\nOn my ears, head-phone tones\nMapped my hearing-range zones.\nThis revealed just how deafened I am.", "id": 4467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If you meet with a spook from damnation,\nI fear that you'll risk albication,\nAnd should you turn white\nFrom unspeakable fright,\nThere's no doctor-approved medication.", "id": 4468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Two biblical kings Ahaziah,\nIn Israel and Judah none higher:\nOne fell through the ceiling,\nAnd the other's mean dealing\nMade him just like his mom, Athaliah.", "id": 4469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Captain Barna B. Norton has died;\nTo Machias Seal Island we'd ride\nIn his boat to see auks,\nOn the Alcidae's rocks.\nHosts of shearwaters flew alongside.", "id": 4470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Abumbral's the side of the velum\nThat the acalephs used to propel 'em\nBy pulsed water jettings\nThrough seawater settings\nIn the second World War's antebellum.", "id": 4471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Pressures mercury once stretched to see\nAre aneroid now, fluid-free.\nPiezoresistance\nBeats toxin persistence:\nThey're all labeled mmHg.", "id": 4472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When azidothymidine came\nInto use against AIDS, instant fame\nFueled predictions too smug.\nWhile it worked as a drug,\nThe virus mutated\u2014new game!", "id": 4473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On the Chesapeake shores, one detects\nLoss of land, \"scooped-out defect\" effects\nWith erosion their cause.\nThis is only a pause\nIn sand-shifting accreting sea sects.", "id": 4474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "An electron, removed from the core\nOf an atom will open the door\n  For one more to descend\n  To its place, which may send\nA third (Auger) electron to soar.", "id": 4475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A polar bear said, \"Howdeedo!\"\nAn Inuit said, \"Toodle-oo!\"\nMy trip to the Arctic\nWas truly cathartic.\nDegrees below zero? A few.", "id": 4476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The botanist bid me adieu;\nThe plants he had planted anew\nWere glorious, aye,\nBut were slightly awry:\nThey were not as attractive askew.", "id": 4477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With bottle upended, the story\nIs vaguely anticipatory.\nThe ketchup, once free,\nSplatters onto your knee:\nIn appearance, exceedingly gory.", "id": 4478, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The practical joker named Peter,\nA dyed-in-the-linen short-sheeter,\nDecided instead\nOf an apple-pie bed\nThat a lemon meringue would be sweeter.", "id": 4479, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Your estate is palatial and grand;\nIt has gardens and room to expand.\nYou have plenty of stuff\n(Even more than enough);\nYou are acred:  a man who's got land.", "id": 4480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At Ascot the horses all trot,\nAnd a gentleman gambles a lot.\nAs the stakes ascend higher,\nHe starts to perspire\nAnd loosens his neckerchief knot.", "id": 4481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "White hair, and white eyelashes too!\nWhen I saw her complexion, I knew\u2014\nShe was cute, albinotic,\nAnd oh, so exotic:\nDivinely translucent to view.", "id": 4482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Assertedly, Elvis is dead\u2014\nBut according to something I read,\nHe's alive. Don't you trust\nAll those doubters; you must\nRead the National Enquirer instead.", "id": 4483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Because he exhibits such cheek,\nThe cat burglar's fortunes are bleak.\nThis guy isn't furtive,\nHe's far too assertive:\nA sadly self-confident sneak.", "id": 4484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Far away by the Caspian shore,\nI adored all the fabrics I wore.\nAnd my astrakhan shawl,\nWhich I loved most of all,\nCame from lambs that I kept on the floor.", "id": 4485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The adzebill was rather unique.\nIt was heavy and had a large beak.\nIts numbers soon dived\nAfter humans arrived\u2014\nNow it's only its bones that we seek.", "id": 4486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "My computer decided to speak.\nMy response, I'm afraid, was a shriek.\nIt said not a word more\nAs it finds me a bore\nAnd my audial interface weak.", "id": 4487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "In The Case of the Lim'rick Cut Short,\nThe detective had this to report:\n\"I printed the piece,\nAnd then called the police\nWith a clue, for the screen said", "id": 4488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A fisherman-friend of my dad,\nTook him out to the sea; they were sad.\nThough they angled for game fish\nThey both caught the same fish:\nAlosa (that's herring, or shad).", "id": 4489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am often confused \u2014 aren't you? \u2014\nWhen I'm dressing and haven't a clue\nHow I best can express\nThat my bow tie's a mess:\nAsymmetric? askance? or askew?", "id": 4490, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That lump in your armpit's dramatic.\nThe growth of its tissue's erratic \u2014\nNo, not a lymphoma,\nA large angioma,\nOf artery, vein, or lymphatic.", "id": 4491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A most frightening moment in fiction \u2014\nIn the squeak of a door, the prediction\nThat danger is near \u2014\nCouldn't ever appear\nIf our hinges were all antifriction.", "id": 4492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A dieting atom\u2014quite comic!\u2014\nAspired through means gastronomic\nTo nucleons shed\n(But transmuted instead!)\nLosing 10 small mass units atomic.", "id": 4493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though they're small from their heads to their tails,\nThe alburn (a fish) never fails\nTo amaze us with making\nWhite pearls, but it's faking:\nThey come from its silvery scales.", "id": 4494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "As a singer, my range is exceptional.\nIn a chorus I'm multi-directional.\nI sing coloratura\nAnd my alto's bravura.\nSo you see, I am truly bi-sectional.", "id": 4495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "You know, apple is also a verb.\nThere's a fact that will shock and disturb;\nBut I tell you, it's true!\nIt's that thing turnips do\nWhen they swell and go round: they're superb!", "id": 4496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On the floor, our sorbet-like dessert.\nFor the cleanup, we'll use this old skirt:\nWe expect that its twill\nWill absorb all the spill,\nWhile its surface adsorbs all the dirt.", "id": 4497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the house where the tenant had roomed\nIs the arsenate he had consumed.\nSince the tenant had reasoned\nHis food had been seasoned\nWith salt, now the tenant is doomed.", "id": 4498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My brother was named attach\u00e9\nTo the consulate out in Bombay.\nThe climate was hot,\nBut my brother was not;\nThey detached him and sent him away.", "id": 4499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "A chap who was musically bored\nChanged the fifth of his dominant chord:\nBy a half step he raised it\n(\"Augmented,\" he phrased it)\u2014\nHis V-to-I movement's adored.", "id": 4500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a Chippendale, rugged and young,\nWho, I hear, has a versatile tongue.\nHe makes passions emerge,\nThis barbarian scourge.\nI'm in lust for Attila the Hung.", "id": 4501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Of ash cakes, the South will partake.\nThey're both tasty and easy to make.\nCornbread batter is rolled\nInto cabbage leaves cold\nThen submerged in hot ashes to bake.", "id": 4502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "It's my axial skeleton: trashed.\nAlmost all of my bones have been smashed.\nSpared my limbs, which is swell,\nAnd my pelvis as well\u2014\nShould've heard that \"meep, meep!\" and then dashed.", "id": 4503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The assistant professor complained,\n\"I wish my adviser'd explained\nThat you strive to get tenure,\nBut afterwards, then you're\nPredestined to tarry here, chained.\"", "id": 4504, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Persuasive contortionists use\nShrewd designs to make sure they won't lose.\nSo they'll bend and they'll sway,\nAnd they'll soon get their way\nAs their arm-twisting tightens the screws.", "id": 4505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An aliquot evenly splits,\nAs three into twelve nicely fits.\nIf, instead, you contrive\nTo divide twelve by five,\nFive's an aliquant, leaving some bits.", "id": 4506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Holding aqueducts up, a great host\nOf arches, the Romans could boast,\nWould bring water for friends'\nAnd for countrymen's ends,\n'Cause the arch beats the lintel and post.", "id": 4507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "All the molecules found in a mole\nFill a twenty-two-liter-sized hole.\nAvogadro's amount\nIs the name of their count\nThat gives chemists a sense of control.", "id": 4508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Say the noise on your signal is hell\u2014\nIs there data within?  You can't tell.\nBilly Idol's refrain\nMight just save you some pain;\nLet it dance with itself for a spell.", "id": 4509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My husband, the audiophile,\nIs so glued to his stereo dial\nThat he doesn't yet know\nMy fidelity's low\u2014\nI've been sleeping around all the while.", "id": 4510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The baby reached out for some more,\nBut his mommy said, \"Kid, here's the score:\nAgalactous, my teats\nHave no milk. For your eats\nTry this formula, fresh from the store.\"", "id": 4511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Anti-Federalist writers berated\nThe president's powers. They hated\nThe thought that he might\nBecome king overnight,\nSo a fine Bill of Rights they created.", "id": 4512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To get to my villa in Spain,\n I hopped in my aerospace plane.\nThough three hundred miles out\nIs a long way, no doubt,\nIt's much faster than taking the train.", "id": 4513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If an architrave fits round a door,\nThen an archivolt adds some decor\nWhen your door has a curve.\nSo I hope you'll observe\nThat with both, you've got moldings galore.", "id": 4514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Without any scolding or chiding,\nMy ardor for you is abiding.\nWith you shall I stick\nThrough both skinny and thick\n(Though my back might engage in some sliding).", "id": 4515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A worry-prone groupie named Beth\nWrote to Sting, \"If you take every breath,\nYou'll asphyxiate us\u2014\nWhich would not be a plus!\nBut regardless, I love you to death!\"", "id": 4516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In spring, all the flower consumers\nWill whisper preposterous rumors\nRegarding the time\nWhen a bud's at its prime,\nAnd anthesis exposes its bloomers.", "id": 4517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In my anti-utopian play,\nThe surroundings are endlessly gray,\nAnd with little remorse\nPoliticians use force\u2014\nLike a few I could mention today.", "id": 4518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Whales, attending earth's rumbles and shakes,\nSang to petrels who danced in their wakes.\nPetrels wave-danced the news\nTo those gossips, sea mews,\nWho warned land creatures, \"Run! the sea breaks.\"", "id": 4519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, knees to knees,\nThus Eliy'sha blew slow, steady breeze.\nHis repeated adpress\nMight seem futile excess,\nBut the boy woke with sneeze after sneeze.", "id": 4520, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "Oppressors annihilate foes\nBy using some terrible blows.\nThe civilians must hide,\nAnd attend those who died:\nBombardment spawns terrible woes.", "id": 4521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Not an aardvark? You know how to dance,\nAnd you know how to button your pants;\nYou like drinking White Russians\nWith six Robitushins,\nAnd not with six helpings of ants.", "id": 4522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A tree grows in Brooklyn, like kids\nUnwanted, it's wild, off the grids.\nAilanthus sucks air,\nAnd cleans it with care,\nFrom Ozone Park, ozone it rids.", "id": 4523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Victoria's granddaughter wed\nAnd with Nicholas, snuggled in bed.\nBut Rasputin's foul plots\nLed to Bolshevik shots:\nAlexandra, soon after, was dead.", "id": 4524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though I like what my meadow has spawned,\nAll the cereal seems to be awned,\n Meaning, unlike the thistle,\n The wheatgrass has bristle\nAnd hair on its flowers. (It's blonde!)", "id": 4525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If ad baculum's how you endorse\nA position, you'd best change your course.\n When of reasons you're short,\n Your debate lacks support,\nSo you try to persuade folks by force.", "id": 4526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Things that scare you and steal all your verve,\nThat disturb you and throw you a curve,\nThat shorten your breath,\nAnd that scare you to death\u2014\nThese accoward you:  rob you of nerve.", "id": 4527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "As a kid I collected these things\u2014\nThe scrawls of celebrity kings.\nTo join my collection,\nIt's now my reflection,\nYou were one of those Frankies or Bings.", "id": 4528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "As we rode down the road on our tandem,\nThe cops pulled us over at random.\nAnd what had we got?\nWhy, a few joints of pot!\nThey're not ours anymore, they're abandum.", "id": 4529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An aurist's a doc for one's ear,\nAnd is fine as your choice of career.\nBut for work less mundane\nYou should fix up the brain.\nIt's a choice much more sound, so I hear.", "id": 4530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a battle with forces demonic,\nA deacon who leads is sardonic:\n\"I'm a Mormon, a priest,\nJust the least of the least,\nAnd they're counting on me? How Aaronic!\"", "id": 4531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Accipiter hawks understand\nSwiftly seizing the subject at hand.\nSo accipitral birds,\nIn a class without words,\nUse their talons to grasp lunch as planned.", "id": 4532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Allopurinol's needed, no doubt.\nIt's a drug that I can't do without,\nSince it helps me excrete\nUric acid and beat\nThis incredible case of the gout.", "id": 4533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "This burly young gent was named Eric;\nIn Alaska he worked on a derrick.\nFrom the tip of his nose\nTo his fingers and toes,\nHis frostbite was slight, acroteric.", "id": 4534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Algebraic equations have roots,\nAnd these numbers are frequently beauts.\nEvery one is a peach,\nBut that pi's out of reach.\nAre we speaking of math or of fruits?", "id": 4535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a little-known Biblical fable,\nA brother becomes so unstable\nHe murders his sibling\nFor sneaking and nibbling\nOn cane every chance he is Abel.", "id": 4536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Agrippina at palace turned whore,\nThen poisoned her hubby; what's more,\nThis true anti-hero\nWas mother to Nero,\nWho killed her to settle the score.", "id": 4537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An agreeable judge just won't do,\nTo adjudicate 'twixt me and you.\n When you told him your plight\n He said, \"Clearly, you're right.\"\nBut when I spoke, he said, \"You're right too!\"", "id": 4538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To theists, a practical menace is\nThe theory of abiogenesis.\nIf life is spontaneous,\nGod is extraneous,\nKinda like Wimbledon tennis is.", "id": 4539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since the number of phones will explode,\nWe should hazard a look down the road\nAnd agree, me and you,\nThat we simply can't do\nWith a three-digit area code.", "id": 4540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a fat Nazi named Hermann\nWho proved that old maxim of Sherman\nBy bombing at night,\nWhich was most impolite,\nAnd was apt to make Brits anti-German.", "id": 4541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If a girl cannot rhyme, I don't need her.\nI love books with poetical meter.\n Elegiacs are best,\n So it's time I confessed:\nI'm an avid and Ovid book reader.", "id": 4542, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Esteemed apolipoprotein,\nIs your lipid friend none to be seen?\nHitched in globes, you'll then bob\nIn the blood where you'll glob\nWith triglycerides carried between.", "id": 4543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If you're planning to study the dirt,\nSome agrology classes can't hurt.\nYou'll learn facts that are charming\nRelated to farming,\nLike rendering insects inert.", "id": 4544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "When you're serving up cocktails or brandy,\nKeep absorptive materials handy,\nJust in case there's a vicar\nWho can't hold his liquor\nAnd spills his postprandial shandy.", "id": 4545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The new antibiotic ensured\nThat the clap I'd contracted was cured.\nBut they tested my blood,\nFound it loaded with crud.\nIt's the afterclap news that's endured.", "id": 4546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the flash of a camera you find\nFor a moment it renders you blind.\nWith the visual strain,\nSome sensations remain.\nAfterimages stay in your mind.", "id": 4547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If a number is complex, it starts\nWith its real and imaginary parts.\nAdd their squares for a sum,\nTake its root, and, old chum,\nYou've the absolute value\u2014and smarts!", "id": 4548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Acceptilation lets debtors go free\nWithout any payment or fee.\nWith no obligation,\nThis debt cancellation\nWill certainly fill them with glee.", "id": 4549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If in Persia your pearls you had weighed,\nAn abas was the unit of trade\n(Carat minus an eighth).\nYou just took it on faith\nThat the scale had been honestly made.", "id": 4550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you wean him at one, you promote\nIndependence, psychologists note.\nIf you don't make the break,\nAblactation may take\nTill your son is eighteen and can vote.", "id": 4551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meg Beagle", "limerick": "Our language is oft antiquated,\nWhich means that it's sadly outdated.\nWords are called \"obsolete,\"\nA term quite discreet\nFor expressions that should soon be crated.", "id": 4552, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An alchemist, so I've been told,\nSought three things: to turn lead into gold,\nThe medieval idea\nOf a true panacea,\nAnd elixirs to never grow old.", "id": 4553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My dog, a Great Dane named Miguel,\nHas no nose.\"  \"Well then, how does he smell?\"\n\"I'd say awful, poor guy.\nHis anosmia's why,\nWhen we hunt, he does not do that well.\"", "id": 4554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mary Anderson's not now alive,\nBut do think of her next time you drive\nAnd the weather's the worst,\nBecause she made the first\nWindshield wipers in 1905.", "id": 4555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A general's life isn't hard.\nYou get perks like your own honor guard.\nThey're helpful and they'll\nHelp you answer your mail\nAnd pretend that you're Jean-Luc Picard.", "id": 4556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They said I was not all that smart.\nLiving downstream was dumb, for a start.\nBut what washed down today?\nMore gold nuggets!  I say:\n\"Oh, alluvia with all of my heart!\"", "id": 4557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "After visiting various bars\nI developed an interest in Mars.\nBy astronomy captured,\nI gazed up, enraptured,\nWalked into a tree, and saw stars!", "id": 4558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ambush marketing's what you might do\nWhen your rivals are clobbering you.\nTo their ads you're linking\nYour product.  (I'm thinking\nIt's a lot like just saying \"Me, too!\")", "id": 4559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An amuse-bouche is something to eat\nLike a finger food, tasty and neat.\nIf you are the clown\nWho will chow these things down\nBy the fistful, please do be discreet.", "id": 4560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If your child's favorite doll's anatomically\nCorrect, and you treat the thing comically,\nAnd you rub 'tween its thighs,\nDo you know what will rise?\nHer psychiatrist bills, astronomically!", "id": 4561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anchor products are what people cry for:\nThe names that most folks have an eye for.\nIf it's not too much hassle,\nLet's go to White Castle.\n\"Belly Bombers\"?  They're simply to die for!", "id": 4562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An anchor store, set in a mall,\nIs often the largest of all.\nMall management's plan?\nYou'll shop Bloomingdale's an'\nThen the others, no matter how small.", "id": 4563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Top American chestnut?  This renders\nTwo choices as leading contenders:\nThe tree that's so grand\nFor the shade it gives, and\n\"Why do firemen wear red suspenders?\"", "id": 4564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She answered the door in her nightie\nWith looks that could top Aphrodite.\nWhen she offered me pleasure\nBeyond any measure,\nI shyly responded, \"Alrighty!\"", "id": 4565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In a desperate quest to stay young,\nI applied a thin layer of dung\nTo my face, ears, and neck,\n'Cause I looked like a wreck.\nAnti-ageing dung's charms are unsung.", "id": 4566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Amotivational syndrome,\" said Donna,\n\"Is the chronic refrain 'I don't wanna!'\nThat is brought about by\nA whole lifetime spent high\nWhen one constantly smokes marijuana.\"", "id": 4567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If an Aztec should suddenly feel\nLike popping downtown for a meal\nOf tamales and maize,\nWhy, the trip could take days\u2014\nAztechnology bypassed the wheel.", "id": 4568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Anderson shelter was used\nBy a people acutely abused\nBy the horrors of war\nAnd the German Air Corps.\nBut surrender?  The British refused!", "id": 4569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Not shaped like a beast or a human,\nAniconic gods, long on acumen,\nThose forms have forsaken\nSo they won't be mistaken\nFor camels or Harry S Truman.", "id": 4570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anodontia's a problem wherein\nYou are known for your big toothless grin.\nBut it's not because you\nLost your teeth as you grew,\nIt's because they just never came in.", "id": 4571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "The Algarve, where a tourist can roast\nIn the sun until charred into toast,\nWas \"the land in the west\"\nTo the Moors (dispossessed\nAnd expelled to the Barbary Coast).", "id": 4572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "With my taxes, I'm truly obtuse;\nBeing lousy at math's my excuse.\nNow, I've hired a man\nSo if things hit the fan,\nHe accountably takes the abuse.", "id": 4573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A flautist considered astute\nWill cutely ta-toot on a flute,\nWhile one with less smarts\nMight abuse all the parts\nLike a brute. (You would wish he were mute!)", "id": 4574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Agha Khan was brought up to direct\nThe great Ismailian sect.\nBut he then changed locations:\nThe great League of Nations!\nFor India he spoke, I expect.", "id": 4575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The arboreal people agree\nThat it's nice to reside in a tree.\nI heard one of them say,\n\"When in branches I play,\nEvery day is gay Arbor Day! Whee!\"", "id": 4576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Pretty rosebuds are nice in a spray,\nOr singly, or as a bouquet.\nBut since life is so short,\nI must loudly exhort:\nGather armfuls of these, as ye may!", "id": 4577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "She thought she had found true romance;\nHis words held her breathless in trance.\nBut his eyes oft would wander\nTo hither and yonder:\nHis glance would perchance go askance.", "id": 4578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The anaplasmodastats battle\nAnaplasma (bacteria that'll\nCause jaundice and fevers).\nThey're proven relievers\nOf tick-borne infections of cattle.", "id": 4579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Paroxysmal anginiform pain\nIs spasmodic\u2014it's hard to explain\u2014\nWhere you feel suffocation,\nAnd a choking sensation.\nOne cause? Myocardial strain.", "id": 4580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An azide group's simply \u2014N3.\nStability? No guarantee.\nThen, with certain foreboding,\nAdd \u2014H, it's exploding!\nThat's hydrogen azide, you see.", "id": 4581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A fixable stamp, when it tears,\nIsn't broken beyond all repairs.\nBut when moistened and damp,\nAn affixable stamp\nCan attach when I'm quite unawares.", "id": 4582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A cat with a cryptical mien\nLicks her fur to assure that it's clean,\nAnd she wipes her wet paws\nPast her ears just because\nThere are spots where a tongue cannot preen.", "id": 4583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When we google \"cutaneous tingles\"\nIn the earliest stages of shingles,\nThe browser then proffers\nA number of offers:\n\"Meet Sexy Acyclovir Singles!\"", "id": 4584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Said Satan: \"Right here, sign in blood.\nAnd in no time, you'll soon be a stud.\"\nSo I gave my autography,\nBut damn! My cacography\nMade me, instead, Elmer Fudd.", "id": 4585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Angora's a goat or a cat.\nThe cat, who's from Turkey, is fat.\nThe goat has a habit\nOf pulling a rabbit\nWith fine silky hair from his hat.", "id": 4586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "We were snug as a bug in a rug.\nWe embraced with a sensuous hug,\nBut my ardor was shaken\u2014\nIf only she'd taken\nHer antifertility drug!", "id": 4587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With our balance of trade sorely slumping,\nThe protectionist candidate's stumping:\n\"To make a clean sweep\nOf goods nasty and cheap,\nLet's enact a new tax: antidumping!\"", "id": 4588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Dear Mum, I am not anti-French,\nBut the place has one hell of a stench,\nAnd I hate the cuisine.\nHappy 1918!\nGod, I hope I get out of this trench.\"", "id": 4589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My astronaut chief is the dearest,\nExcept when he's farthest or nearest.\nThe apsidal point\nGets his nose out of joint;\nIn orbit, that's when he's severest.", "id": 4590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "There's Becky from Vanity Fair,\nAnd that head-turner played by Ms. Blair;\nThen there's Varla and Kate\n(Who was tamed, but too late):\nAntiheroines all, I declare.", "id": 4591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The argala or adjutant-bird?\nFor its diet, dead fish are preferred.\nIt's an Indian stork\nThat's as big as New York!\n(No? Well, maybe I'm off by a third.)", "id": 4592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The factory floor was benighted\nWhen half of the hands were attrited.\nThe workforce eroded;\nTheir jobs were outmoded.\nThe shareholders, though, were delighted.", "id": 4593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Two species named Patrick and Smart\nHad diverged, by evolving apart.\nSmart took it in stride:\n\"Allopatric,\" he cried.\n\"I can talk. You can walk; that's a start.\"", "id": 4594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The almoners' time-honored trade\nWas to offer the needy their aid.\nIt's the same, more or less,\nIn today's NHS,\nBut for services rendered, they're paid.", "id": 4595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "You would have to be terribly boorish\nTo begrudge the Alhambra its flourish.\nOverdone?  Heavens, no!\nEven Mies van der Rohe\nWould not try to contend \"Less is Moorish.\"", "id": 4596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Coca-Cola? A bad corporation.\nAnd Pepsi's the wrong Generation.\nI'm not anti-business,\nI'm just anti-fizzness:\nI long for their swift liquidation.", "id": 4597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The goldsmiths, McBain & McBell,\nThink that aurifex sounds rather swell.\nWith their business cards altered,\nTheir business has faltered\nSince no one can tell what they sell.", "id": 4598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My sister is sometimes flirtatious\u2014\nAt times, she gets downright audacious.\nShe'd cloyingly say\nTo a man made of clay,\n\"Oh, you're really just too argillaceous!\"", "id": 4599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a basement apartment in Crewe\nSits a florist; the sun shimmers through.\nIn his areaway\nIs a merry array\nOf forget-me-nots, brilliantly blue.", "id": 4600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I fluttered right up to the skies,\nAnd then I continued to rise.\nMy great elevations\nEarned flying ovations\u2014\nI won the ascensional prize.", "id": 4601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Thy paintings have played a great part\nIn the Renaissance, giving a start\nTo a famous tradition\nIn portrait rendition:\nHistorical surely thou art.", "id": 4602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"A crime against God and the Church\"\u2014\nWith this summons my gut gave a lurch!\nThe apparitor read it\nAnd after he said it,\nSubjected my soul to a search.", "id": 4603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Amphibrachic accentual meter:\nIn limericks, none could be sweeter.\nIn frantic semantics'\nTrisyllable antics,\nThe first and the third are discreeter.", "id": 4604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The girls in the dorm are atwitter\nAbout Kendra, an amateur knitter,\nWho's said, when she flirts,\nTo unravel her skirts:\nShe pretends that the patterns don't fit her.", "id": 4605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "You respond with a wearisome rant,\nAnd your eyebrows all furrowed, aslant.\nThough I've tried once or twice\nTo pretend being nice,\nStill you greet me with glances askant.", "id": 4606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When Nathan procures his acates\nHe buys foodstuffs at chefs' wholesale rates.\nWith fresh herbs\u2014by the crate\u2014\nNate makes salads so great\nThat his guests lick each bit from their plates.", "id": 4607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Averroism, seen as the bane\nOf the Church, was at odds to make plain\nHow a Frenchman would seek\nTo interpret a Greek\nBy way of an Arab from Spain.", "id": 4608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "My astragal (anklebone) shattered.\nDoor's astragal (weatherstrip) clattered.\nHerbal astragal tamped.\nRinglike astragal  clamped.\nUse of astragal (gliding joint)'s scattered.", "id": 4609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Timbuktu, once renowned for its learning,\nGuards the Niger's aduncity (turning\nFrom Sahara's dun sands\nThrough West African lands),\nNiger River's wide crescent discerning.", "id": 4610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To accurse, let a series of zingers\nBid your object ill-wishing that lingers.\nIt's the voice of the bird\nWhich, though mute, can be heard\nWhen set flying with raised middle fingers.", "id": 4611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "'Twas an old aldern bowl, round and wide,\nWith fresh garlics and onions applied.\nIts silvery wood\nLooked especially good\nWith a heap of green salad inside.", "id": 4612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A volcano that's active in Italy,\nOr insurance when life goes unprettily.\nUnder mud, flood, or flame,\nThese two Aetnas will claim\nTotal coverage when things turn out grittily.", "id": 4613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On November the second, we'd pray\nAs All Souls' Day mass Father would say.\nDeacons named each dead soul,\nAnd for each, bells would toll\nAs the incense uplifted away.", "id": 4614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An add-on is something that's more\nThan was in this computer before,\nBut we don't say add-off\nFor the part we would doff;\nIsn't studying English a chore?", "id": 4615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "She would dress as no other girl had:\nShirts of pink over pants of green plaid.\nBy ascribing her lapse\nTo bad genes, then perhaps\nShe was blaming her mom and her dad.", "id": 4616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The people who advertise cars\nSpend more than those selling cigars.\nWith their goal they're obsessed:\nThat we autosuggest\n(Like the notion to purchase is ours).", "id": 4617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Reproduce without sex! It's official.\nThrough fission of cells, the initial\nLive creature can clone\nOther cells like its own.\nThe process is accrementitial.", "id": 4618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you visit your doctor and hear\nThat your cornea isn't quite clear,\nIn your visual field\nThe albugo revealed\nMay cause shadows that don't disappear.", "id": 4619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The best definition of air\nIs the stuff that we breathe.  To be fair,\nIt's a song too, I know,\nAs a verb: \"dry\" or \"show,\"\nBut the truth is, I don't really care.", "id": 4620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "juniperus", "limerick": "In tone she could be acidiferous\nTo those with opinions vociferous.\nHer disdain was quite clear\nTo those both far and near:\nShe considered their presence pestiferous.", "id": 4621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "Once the world was atwitter with news\nOf the man who unearthed the Earth's clues.\nHe gave hominids cause\nTo start wagging their jaws\nTill they changed their once-fossilized views.", "id": 4622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "At that job, see, ya couldn't relax\u2014\nPeople's constantly watchin' their backs.\nSo I felled a big tree\nOn the boss's Hum-Vee.\nServed him right. The bum gave me the ax.", "id": 4623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "Said Winken to Blinken and Nod,\n\"This nurs'ry life's awfully odd.\nHere we lie, in a shoe,\nAn extremely young crew\u2014\nUnworldly, unwashed, and unshod.\"", "id": 4624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "The accepter excels as a dad:\nNo matter how errant his lad,\nThat rapscallion of his,\nHe will take him as is.\nThus the good makes the best of the bad.", "id": 4625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "The next time you say, \"She's a cutie,\"\nConsider it also your duty\nTo examine what backs this:\nA well-centered axis,\nBegetting, through symmetry, beauty.", "id": 4626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Of an aliped (bat) it is said\nThat a web 'tween its toes there is spread.\nAnd you know how it feels\nTo have wings on your heels\nAnd your feet 'round your head in your bed.", "id": 4627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Your belching and farting and grunts\nAre insulting. I tire of your stunts.\n  You're a rude and crude dude\n  Who eats food in the nude!\nI find many and sundry affronts.", "id": 4628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "I don't write with much speed or with grace,\nAnd so ambling's my poetry pace.\nIt may take me some time\nTo find just the right rhyme.\nThat's OK. It's not some sort of race.", "id": 4629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I've been meaning to ask you for days\n'Bout your newly alchemical ways.\nTurning lead into gold\nAnd transmuting foretold?\nAs the rent's due, make sure that it pays.", "id": 4630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Autotrophic: it's not narcissistic.\nTo define it as such is sophistic.\nIt means able to feed\nOn the soil\u2014you just need\nThat and air, like some mythical mystic.", "id": 4631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "For recording the motion from quakes,\nAn accelerograph's what it takes.\nAll our chances improve\nIf we know how things move\nWhen the ground's got a case of the shakes.", "id": 4632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "These are garlic plants.  Love 'em or leave 'em.\nGenus Allium, species sativum:\nYou can tell by the smell,\nWhich is strong, but still swell.\n(Some may tell you they stink.  Don't believe 'em.)", "id": 4633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Our axletree's broken in two,\nSo we're now in the ditch, me and you.\nWhat's left of our wagon\nIs twisted and saggin';\nHow to fix it I haven't a clue.", "id": 4634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "There once was a man from Tashkent\n(Quite the monolocational gent).\nThough his absence we found\nWhen he wasn't around,\nHe was present wherever he went.", "id": 4635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The fount Aganippe saw birth\nWhen great Pegasus stamped in the earth.\n'Twas a nymphly abode\nWhose bright waters bestowed\nInspiration 'gainst poetry's dearth.", "id": 4636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "A trayful of sweetmeats just bores\nThis small seabird of northerly shores;\nSo don't give an auklet\nYour fine gourmet chocolate,\nFor plankton is what it adores.", "id": 4637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "Which auricula term will prevail?\nThere's the flower, the fungi, or snail.\nThere's the shell (not the claws)\nAround sea urchin jaws,\nAnd a pouch on the heart. Bids for sale!", "id": 4638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "willupanek", "limerick": "My neurologist firmly asserts\nThat my alpha wave cues no alerts.\nI'm awake and at rest,\nAnd this EEG test\nReads from 8 up to 13 calm hertz.", "id": 4639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "I mistook my poor wife for a hat.\nPray what was the reason for that?\nThey call it agnosia;\nIt's like I don't knows ya;\nI do, but just not where you're at.", "id": 4640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "Said the Doctor of Music (Recorder):\n\"I shall drug you to treat this disorder.\nI'm not that kind of doc,\nBut your timing's such schlock\nThat an antiarrhythmic's in order.\"", "id": 4641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When boarding a plane in LA,\nIntending to go to the Bay,\nA man flew to Auckland,\nInstead of to Oakland,\nBecause he'd misheard the PA.", "id": 4642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "A professional criminal gambled\nHe could leave the detectives all scrambled.\nWhen fleeing the scene,\nHis standard routine\nWas never to run: he just ambled.", "id": 4643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "A mean old bee stung me once, badly.\nAmenably, I suffered gladly.\nSee, this bee had no glee\nFor the queen be not she,\nAnd that sting spelled her suicide, sadly.", "id": 4644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "This here autopsy shows you're well-fed;\nNothing's broken, nor lumpy, nor red.\nBut the one thing you're lacking\n(Which led to your packing\nIt in) is the thing called your head.", "id": 4645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On the cruiseship, the overworked purser\nWho, irked with an avid converser,\nCharged a kiss on each cheek\nFor each minute she'd speak,\nFilled a fine-setting role called amercer.", "id": 4646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our cheerleaders let out a whoop\nWhen we finally managed a hoop.\nOur guard passed the ball\nTo Neanderthal Paul\nIn a play that we call alley-oop.", "id": 4647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Anhingas have heads thin as snakes,\nAnd they dart after fish in warm lakes,\nBut their wet wings won't fly,\nSo they stretch to drip dry\nAnd enjoy the sun's heat as it bakes.", "id": 4648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Her rowing is sturdy and sleek,\nAn exemplar of perfect technique.\nAnd as soon as she's through\nWith her oars, what she'll do\nIs position them upright, apeak.", "id": 4649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My professor of English linguistics\nIs also adept at statistics.\nThis Anglicist knows\nAll the numbers in rows,\nAnd their fricative characteristics.", "id": 4650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When his final round-tripper was parked,\nA perennial squabble was sparked.\nAn un-Ruthian jot\nCut this Gordian knot:\nWith an asterisk Maris was marked.", "id": 4651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The pole-sitter, coping with stress,\nTook the high road and met with success.\nAll his apical sitting\nWas better than flitting\nAround, ever under duress.", "id": 4652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A belle with a buxom behind\nAnd with manners sublimely refined,\nWill stifle a bristle\nWhen gentlemen whistle,\nAnd answer, \"You're awfully kind!\"", "id": 4653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A Scotsman named Angus McBane\nWalks around with a cloak and a cane.\nWhen he's asked if he owns\nNothing more, then he moans:\n\"Nae, that's all that I hae that's me ain.\"", "id": 4654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I possess neither wherefores nor whys\nFor an African squirrel that flies.\nThe anomalures' tails\nAre enveloped by scales;\nThey're anomalous, one would surmise.", "id": 4655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "All Christians adhere to beseechings\nIn New Testament sermons and teachings.\nApostolic's the name\nThat describes these; the same\nFor the Catholics describes Papal preachings.", "id": 4656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I'm an Anton van Leeuwenhoek fan,\nSo the microscope-maker's my man;\nHe's the first one to draw\nTiny creatures he saw,\nAnimalcules he drank by the can.", "id": 4657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A sharecropper plows with his mule\nRow by row, hour by hour, he should pule\u2014\nFor all day he has stared\nAt a half-assed, half-mared\t\nFunky fundament fuzzy as crewel.", "id": 4658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Piano professor Eileen\nIs articulatory in mien:\nAlexander technique\nKeeps her joints at their peak\nAnd her thinking both keen and serene.", "id": 4659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Suzanne Kreul", "limerick": "You amaze me, my dear Mr. Fox,\nWhen you lift up that mountain of rocks.\nI'm astounded and awed,\nAnd I'm barefoot, by Gawd,\nFor your prowess has knocked off my socks.", "id": 4660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When there's conflict you need to address,\nKeep your cool and stay calm; don't aggress.\nWhen you take the offensive\nAnd they get defensive\nYou'll find you're in more of a mess.", "id": 4661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The uppermost leaves on a tree,\nOr a sub coming up through the sea;\nA fantastic balloon\nRising up to the moon:\nAll assurgent? Precisely; all three.", "id": 4662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "King Kong surely wished he'd escaped\nSo his image would not have been shaped\nBy an actor in fur\nWho looked fake, you'll concur.\nEver since, the big ape has been aped!", "id": 4663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "If arcane, it is known to so few\u2014\nEsoteric\u2014mysterious, too!\nYet, if answers were found,\nStill no words you would sound,\nSo the secret stays safe\u2014thanks to you!", "id": 4664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "It's an injury hurting the knee\nAnd it's frequent for people who ski.\nThey need to beware\nOf an ACL tear.\nIt makes skiing less stable, you see.", "id": 9331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A starving young artist named Frank\nTried to sketch, but his confidence shrank.\nPutting pencil to paper,\nHis thoughts turned to vapour.\nYou could say he was drawing a blank.", "id": 9332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "My awareness, the carillon's stealing\nWith chimes in a tune of great feeling.\nThe thunderous dongs\nPlay these wonderous songs.\nO! The beautiful bells are appealing!", "id": 9333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "You must know how to bank when you fly\nAnd are learning to turn in the sky.\nIf you just use the rudder,\nYour instructor will shudder,\nSo dipping one wing's what to try.", "id": 9334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you sing as you flit in the air,\nGrow brown feathers in place of your hair,\nAnd a Buick car's name\nAnd your own are the same,\nYou're alaudine, that's all I can swear.", "id": 9335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "If it's roofed and was built for the view,\nThen one terms it a belvedere. Few\nAre like ours. The design\nIs ornate and divine.\n(It's the first in the trailer park, too.)", "id": 9336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A professor's assessment was key,\nAs it made an assessee of me.\nThat's a word that contains\nDouble letters. It reigns!\nDouble-S, double-S, double-E.", "id": 9337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "It's a dangerous bay in this light,\nBut those pirates present a worse plight.\nIt's inviting disaster\nTo fight their three-master,\nAs their barque is much worse than this bight.", "id": 9338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "If you follow the words of the psalms\nAnd set silver in supplicant palms\nOf the poor and the needy\n(But not of the greedy),\nThis action is called giving alms.", "id": 9339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A person who's best to avoid\nIs the type that can make you annoyed.\nHe'll joke like a jester,\nProvoke, poke, and pester,\nTill you secretly wish him destroyed.", "id": 9340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Is that hair tint red dye number seven?\nOr some henna, from 7-Eleven?\nTrue auburn is best,\nHigh above all the rest,\nWhen it's natural color from heaven.", "id": 9341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "We politely progress through our paces\nAt arm's length to finesse public spaces,\nKeeping stranger or peer\nFrom approaching too near\nAnd exhaling up close in our faces.", "id": 9342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "This one diagnosis was missed,\nAnd oh boy, how my girlfriend was pissed.\nAll those tests that they took,\nWhen they just had to look\nTo discover a Bartholin cyst.", "id": 9343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "On bank:  bridge abutments there rest.\nEn banc: to all judges attest.\nIn bank: where the money\nHad best not be funny\u2014\nYou bank on it being the best.", "id": 9344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "A bay is a horse of that hue,\nAnd some people call laurels that, too;\nIt's a hound's hunting call,\nOr a window (three-wall)\u2014\nSan Francisco's? A waterfront view.", "id": 9345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Some bars denote pressure, not pleasure,\nLike those bars which serve drinks at your leisure.\nSome bars form a cage,\nWhile at other bars rage\nThose who advocate each legal measure.", "id": 9346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Just a few months have passed since the rains\nFilled the brambles and branches and canes.\nNow some ursine (he's NUDE!)\nMakes a mess with his food\u2014\nSee the bare bear bear bearberry stains.", "id": 9347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "On this railway, the workers are slack,\nAnd they say they don't want to come back.\nTheir hands are all calloused\nFrom spreading the ballast\nTo make a nice bed for the track.", "id": 9348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When your tansy is tardy to thrive,\nAnd your barley is barely alive,\nThat's the time that a good\nAuxanometer should\nLet you know as they start to revive.", "id": 9349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The potter began to tempt fate\nWhen he foolishly tried to create\nThe most massive ceramics\u2014\nThe barodynamics\nWere such they collapsed from the weight.", "id": 9350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When taking a bath, relaxation\nIs likely, as is inspiration\u2014\nGreat thoughts you will get,\nBut your hands are too wet\nTo preserve them\u2014oh, damn balneation!", "id": 9351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kdfrance", "limerick": "How much longer could people attend\nTo a speaker who never would end?\nThe babbler kept talking\nAnd folks began walking\nAway from the speech he had penned.", "id": 9352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Making babies is common, and yet\nTo beget's seldom spoken, I'll bet.\nWhere it isn't so rare\nIs the Bible, and there\nHow it's done we're supposed to forget.", "id": 9353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "The agreement that's labelled a bet\nSays the winning predictor will get\nAn agreed-upon prize\nWhich the loser supplies.\nIt's enjoyed as a way to build debt.", "id": 9354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A wordsmith, Philology Pete\nSold articles out on the street.\nIn poems or prose,\nA's, an's, the's and those \u2014\nHe's a lexicographical treat.", "id": 9355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "When I'm looking for food in my larder,\nI use zeal and intensity: ardor.\nThough the cupboard's quite bare,\nI may find something there\nIf I look just a little bit harder.", "id": 9356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Do you suffer from body pollution\nAnd search for a simple solution?\nWell, take a hot shower\nWith soap and then scour:\nPollution's solution's ablution.", "id": 9357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Biorhythms reflect the rapport\nAmong mind, body, spirit and more!\nWe are ruled by their waves\nFrom our cradles to graves,\"\nRaved the parapsychologist bore.", "id": 9358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Mythological tales of a flood\nAre so common, they run through our blood.\nMany feature a spry\nArchecentric old guy\nWho landed his boat in the mud.", "id": 9359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Are you thinking of suing a pastor?\nIn days past, 'twould have been a disaster,\nFor all he would need\nWas to prove he could read,\nAnd they couldn't dismiss the case faster!", "id": 9360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"In my library job, I've a preference\nFor patrons who'll treat me with deference,\"\nA girl bibliothecal\nSaid. \"Often, some geek'll\nCheck me out, although I'm in Reference.\"", "id": 9361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The black racer's a speedy snake, true,\nAnd its blue racer cousin's fast, too.\nBut if fastest you need,\nThe black mamba's great speed\nWithout doubt will beat both black and blue.", "id": 9362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "An old gaffer's assistant felt cursed;\nStress from work made him think he would burst.\nHe quit movies to start\nUp his own hot dog cart,\nThereby going from best boy to wurst.", "id": 9363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "It's my nightmare (b\u00eate noire \u2014 the black beast).\nMy fear of it's daily increased;\nThat \"This poem's still unsound!\n[List of flaws that were found]\"\nI'll be dead 'fore the workshopping's ceased.", "id": 9364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "In the Balkans some mountains are found\nRising up from Carpathian ground;\nBisecting the area\nThat's known as Bulgaria,\nWhere lots of rakia gets downed.", "id": 9365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Beryllium's element four,\nFound in many a mineral ore.\nA light metal that's brittle,\nLong contact with it'll\nCause health problems tough to ignore.", "id": 9366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "A bebop trombonist named Clyde\nUsed to improvise notes with great pride.\nBut his music annoyed,\nSo he went unemployed;\nHis career, like his horn, had a slide.", "id": 9367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "Said a greedy young fellow from Devon,\n\"This behavior won't get me to heaven!\nWhen my body's cadaverous,\nMy soul will burn!  Avarice,\nAs sins go, is surely Top Seven!\"", "id": 9368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "For the wrinkles she wants to erase,\nShe gets botulin (only a trace!).\nIf the needle should slip\nTo her shoulder or lip,\nShe'll be pouting and wearing a brace.", "id": 9369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I'm designing a new coat of arms\nFor a guy who grows mildew on farms:\nOver gules disinfectant,\nTwo fungi aspectant\n(Or facing), emblazoned It Harms.", "id": 9370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The archdeaconry had a new minister\nWhose methods were strange, though not sinister.\nFor Communion \u2014 a Ritz!\nAnd he'd sit in the schvitz\nFor the baptisms he would administer.", "id": 9371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "Like a ruler, to twelve I can go.\nOn the Beaufort scale, clearly I show\nThat I'm calm down near one,\nBut at twelve I can stun\u2014\nThat's when trees will be flung to and fro.", "id": 9372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "What a thrill when you get an award,\nLike a crown on your work\u2014oh, my lord!\nIt says, \"Yes, you're the best,\nRising over the rest!\"\nFor your toil you deserve this reward!", "id": 9373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "A biblioklept has just sinned,\nAnd the bookseller's really chagrined.\nThis most bookish of crooks\nHas run off with his books,\nAnd it looks like they're Gone with the Wind.", "id": 9374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "If your doctor's suspecting anemia,\nOr lupus, or hypoglycemia,\nA blood test may tell\nWhy you're feeling unwell,\nBut it's really the bill that'll ream ya!", "id": 9375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Every time I employ a physician\nFor a menial household position,\nAnd I pay him his arles,\nHe abusively snarls,\n\"This is no way to pay a clinician!\"", "id": 9377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Angelenos are given to boast\nOf their warm, sunny home on the Coast,\nBut they all will be humbled\nWhen earthquakes have rumbled:\nLA will be nothing but toast.", "id": 9378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and speedysnail", "limerick": "The bio instructor I'm dating\nFinds heaps of hot compost elating.\nThis steamy affair\nOf exposure to air\n(Or aerating) deserves an R-rating.", "id": 9379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "Playing Quidditch last week on the pitch,\nAn aggressive and fearsome young witch\nHit a bludger at Meeker\n(The other team's seeker).\nToo late! He had just caught the Snitch!", "id": 9380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Fellow graduates, let me confess\nThat this brief apopemptic address\nWill say Reach for the stars,\nBut a life behind bars\nIs more likely. Good luck, and God bless!", "id": 9381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some Louisville sluggers excel\nIn the way (using cork) they propel\nAny baseball they hit,\nSo it lickety-split\nLeaves the park like a bat out of hell.", "id": 9382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though we vote with a puncture or scrawl,\nLong ago, we inserted a ball.\nA limited palette\nBelonged to this ballot:\nOne black, and one white: that was all.", "id": 9383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Avirulent germs, in the main,\nLike vaccinia, cause little pain.\nA pox virus of cattle\nCan prime you to battle\nVariola, a dangerous strain.", "id": 9384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A \"furrie,\" a lass named Miranda,\nThrew a party upon her veranda.\nOn that Allhallows night,\nShe was all black and white,\nAs she loves to dress up as a panda.", "id": 9385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Avogadro was counting his moles,\nWhich are fur-balls with claws and these goals:\nAs they tunnel around,\nAvocados are found,\nWhich the critters drag back to their holes.", "id": 9386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Contraception's a skill to be mastered,\nWhich the couple forgot, being plastered.\nSince they hadn't been married\nThe night that they tarried,\nThe outcome, though cute, was a baby.", "id": 9387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "What's basipetal, gard'ners may hear,\nMoves from apex to base in a clear,\nSimple pattern one sees\nIn some flowers and trees,\nAnd in actor Ben Affleck's career.", "id": 9388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Archenemy: someone adverse\u2014\nOn the list of your foes, no one's worse.\nBut a change in the y\nMakes colonics go high:\nHow I curse the archenema nurse!", "id": 9389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Archchroniclers: These are the guys\nKeeping track of events that arise.\nBut that word is a hoot\nWhose six consonants\u2014cute\nAnd consecutive\u2014capture your eyes.", "id": 9390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A crafter of limericks with punch\nWrote a hundred, and all before lunch.\nHe was fast as can be\nAnd prolific, you see\u2014\nPenned a dozen or so during brunch.", "id": 9391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though these letters have dots that are bitty,\nTo me, i's and j's appear pretty.\nTry hijinks in Fiji;\nIn Beijing play Ouija.\nSee Ajijic, a Mexican city.", "id": 9392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "I met her, and I was beglamored,\nAnd when trying to speak, I just stammered.\nHours later, we're hitched!\nSurely I was bewitched\n(Or else, just incredibly hammered).", "id": 9393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The accordion's fine for a polka.\nBut for livin' a vida that's loca,\nI will boldly suggest\nThe bandoneon's best,\nPlaying tangos seductive as coca.", "id": 9394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd and Workshop", "limerick": "\"That's a grand allamanda, Amanda.\nIt looks well on your sunny verandah.\nSuch a beauty to view,\nBut it's poison! Please do\nKeep an eye on Miranda the panda.\"", "id": 9396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Each Sunday the pastor would preach\nThose Commandments to keep, not to breach.\nAnd my father would chide\nShould I ever decide\nThat I'd backslide, my backside he'd reach!", "id": 9397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "A bagnio (a brothel to you)\nHad an animal musical crew,\nWhere eleven baboons\nSang lewd tunes from saloons,\nWhile a twelfth played along on kazoo.", "id": 9398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I'd like to get Mike out of jail,\nBut try as I might, I would fail,\nSince the hard-hearted judge\nHolds a grudge and won't budge\nAnd has ordered him held without bail.", "id": 9399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "In his garden gazebo I sat\nWith his mistress, when in walked Lestat!\nThrough an archway I fled,\nJust to land on my head\nIn a boxwood the shape of a bat.", "id": 9400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "What a bombshell!  My wife up and left!\nOf my conjugal bliss I'm bereft.\nBut it isn't all bad \u2014\nIn the closet I had\nA blonde bombshell with curves and a cleft.", "id": 9401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "When Miss Florida went to a shower,\nShe brought food for the guests to devour.\nShe had wanted to make\nA nice daffodil cake,\nBut she ran out of all-purpose flour.", "id": 9402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "If there's arsenite found in your well,\nYou should drink Perrier for a spell.\nIf it's found in your food,\nThen you have to conclude\nYou've been poisoned.  You'd best say \"farewell.\"", "id": 9403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A seventeenth-century fellow\nLoved wine from the grapes called avello.\nHe jumped at a chance,\nWent to Languedoc, France,\nAnd guzzled it 'til he turned yellow.", "id": 9404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "The percussionist said with a grin,\n\"I'm a bongoist under the skin!\"\nThen she reached for her drums\nAnd with fingers and thumbs\nShe began banging bongos again!", "id": 9405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's an obstacle race round a board\nBased on skill more than luck, I'm assured.\nThere are points; there's a blot;\nI think backgammon's hot.\nIf I win will I get my reward?", "id": 9406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "In July, we were out near the bluff,\nWhen we spotted a lake.  Sure enough,\nAll except prudish Pam\nRushed to strip, and we swam\nIn our birthday suits, clad in the buff!", "id": 9408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "surrealmonk and Miss Mimi", "limerick": "As a sailor I have many duties,\nBut I'd rather chase undersea cuties!\nAh, but mermaids, they keep\nHidden well in the deep.\nWould that I were bathybic, my beauties!", "id": 9409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's Chile, and sometimes it's hot,\nBut the sere Atacama is not\nA good place to grow grain,\n'Cause it's not going to rain\nIn this high-and-dry Andean spot.", "id": 9410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "On the wall of a Mafia tomb\nIs inscribed Bada-bing-bada-boom.\nIt's a phrase (like percussion)\nFor ending discussion\u2014\nSymbolically meant, I assume.", "id": 9411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "Like a cheap knock-off purse from the mall,\nYou've become, my dear, dull and banal.\nIt appears there is not\nAn original thought\nIn your head, so please \u2014 don't speak at all.", "id": 9412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adaven's a town in Nevada\nWhose name you will notice is odd\u2014a\nReverse of the state's\nAppellation that rates\nIt a limerick, if not a Ramada.", "id": 9413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "O, that Allah would grant me a wife,\nFor my loneliness cuts like a knife!\nEvery day I traverse\nThe Sahara and curse\nAt my sad, single bedouin life.", "id": 9414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bantamweight, so say my sources,\nA weight class of boxing of course is.\nIt's clear you're not stocky.\nYou could be a jockey\nIf not for your deep fear of horses.", "id": 9415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aurora's a town in Missouri,\nAway from the bustle and fury\nOf big-city worries,\nWhere nobody hurries.\nThe sheriff's the judge and the jury.", "id": 9416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abdominoscopy: Looking inside\nOf a scrooge, where his viscera hide.\nThe intestine is seen,\nAnd the liver, and spleen\u2014\nBut his heart? It has shriveled and died.", "id": 9417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When the captain announced, \"Please don't panic,\"\nWe were halfway across the Atlantic.\nThere was something amiss\nSo I told myself, \"This\nIs the last time I sail the Titanic!\"", "id": 9419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every atom in this simulation\nFor dynamical visualization\nWas expensive when reckoned\nFor each nanosecond\nOf Newtonian force computation.", "id": 9420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Yes, the bill of the pelican relican\nHold more than his pelican belican.\nPeople still see how welican\nBut not how the helican\nStock more than a pelican delican.", "id": 9421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To call Tamara anti-Japan\nWould ignore her hand-painted silk fan,\nPaper cranes, jumping frogs,\nManga books, geta clogs,\nAnd her nickname of Tamara-chan.", "id": 9422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Baraka's a personal force\nOr a power, divine in its source,\nThat in Mali, Somalia,\nAnd Chad, inter alia,\nMost mullahs decline to endorse.", "id": 9423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A driller's predominant goal\nIs to get to the oil with a hole,\nBut the cost if it's cased\nMight not be to his taste,\nSince a barefoot completion's a stroll.", "id": 9424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "First minke, then humpback, then fin\nBalaenopterae whales breached within\nThe Prince of Whales's view,\nAnd the seawater blew!\nThese rorquals are sea-sieving kin.", "id": 9425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Balloon angioplasty's applied\nTo arteries blocked from inside.\nCardiology wrestles\nThin tubes up these vessels,\nInflating till lumens grow wide.", "id": 9426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Amenorrhea, the stopping of flow,\nIs a term that girl athletes should know.\nOne might lay the blame\nOn their leanness of frame,\nAnd an excess of \"Go, Go, Go, Go!\"", "id": 9427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "A bdelloid once played the big screen,\nGrabbed a role in the African Queen;\nExcept that we hate,\nJust like Bogie and Kate,\nThe leech who must share our big scene.", "id": 9428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "A backpacker hostel can be\nCheap lodging in Perth or Epi.\nUnburden your lumbar\nAnd peacefully slumber\nWhile dreaming of home and hot tea.", "id": 9429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I recently went to the zoo\nWith my kids, who love animals too.\nOf all earth's biota\nWe chose Adenota,\nAn antelope, puku to you.", "id": 9430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A belligerent babe, name of Marian,\nHad a faith, so she said, non-sectarian.\n\"I believe in attacking,\nAnd looting and sacking\nReligiously, being Barbarian!\"", "id": 9431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The parietal lobes of our brains\nCan get lesions, a fact that explains\nWhy perceptions are shoddy\nIn half of your body,\nWhen amorphosynthesis reigns.", "id": 9432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Aframomum is African spice:\nGrains of paradise (lavish in price)\nAre gingery hot.\nFor a mild pepper pot,\nMbongo is rarer, but nice.", "id": 9433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Audibility doesn't belong\nTo a word or a noise or a song:\nIt depends on the ear\nLately straining to hear,\nSo the sense of this property's wrong.", "id": 9434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I am scrawny and gaunt, unathletic,\nAnd my wardrobe is truly pathetic.\nPerhaps I should claim\nMy religion's to blame\nAnd then take on the title ascetic.", "id": 9435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aries, the sign of the Ram!\nThat's good, you say?  That's what I am!\n(You like Pisces, instead?\nHell, to get you to bed,\nI would tell you I'm King of Siam!)", "id": 9436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A brawl in a bar called Mahoney's\nDid not include me or my cronies.\nWe wanted to fight,\nBut what stopped us that night?\nNo backbone.  No guts.  No cojones.", "id": 9437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I was feeding a squid chocolate chips\nAnd avoiding her nibbles and nips;\nOn her actinal side\n(When I said, \"Open wide!\")\nWas a beak where I thought I'd see lips.", "id": 9438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "To the eye she had skin like a dove;\nI confess I fell madly in love.\nWhen I tried a caress,\nI was filled with distress\nFor her bodysuit fit like a glove!", "id": 9439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "If you're bit by a botfly, my son,\nYou should get yourself home on the run!\nQuickly cover each bite\nWith petroleum white,\n'Cause those flesh-eating bots are no fun!", "id": 9440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Springtime flowers, in splendid regalia,\nAromatically find and assail ya.\nBut my favorite shrub\nIs the one I would dub\nThe valentine-tinted azalea.", "id": 9441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was a robber named Wallace,\nA terror in times that were lawless.\nQuite awesome he was\nTill they caught him, because\nAfter that he was pawless and aweless.", "id": 9442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"You're a fool!\"  \"You're a loon!\"  they proclaim,\nBut in Scotland they give you this name:\n\"You're a bampot!\" they shout\nEvery time you go out,\n\"An' yer bringin' yer family shame!\"", "id": 9443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"I've a bankable thought here,\" he coos,\nAs he dreams of the wealth he pursues.\n\"When the thoughts that you write\nAre too short, start a site\nWhere five lines are enough, then charge dues.\"", "id": 9445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The seagull I meant for the soup\u2014\nIt seems to have flown from the coop.\nTo retrieve it, I guess\nThat I'll follow the mess,\nAnd I'll probably find it apoop.", "id": 9447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "You can eat all my baba ghanouzh,\nOr half flatten my fancy tarboosh.\nYou can crumple or cut\nAlmost anything, but\nDon't you step on my blue suede babouche.", "id": 9448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Botticelli\u2014the name rings a bell\u2014\nHe's that artist we all know so well.\nHe showed Jesus' birth,\nDancing angels on earth,\nAnd his Venus surfs in on a shell.", "id": 9449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "byorgey", "limerick": "Adolescents, on many occasions\nSuccumbing to TV's persuasions,\nRarely venture outside\nAnd wear blue jeans to hide\nA disheartening lack of abrasions.", "id": 9450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Architeuthis, the sea's giant squid\nLurks in deep ocean canyons, well-hid.\nIt is twelve times my size,\nWith ten legs and huge eyes:\nNo man viewed it.  Physeterids did.", "id": 9451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "At the embassy fete my dreams shrank;\nI'd been moved to the rear on the flank.\nThe glib protocol dude\nIn review was too rude,\n\"The new seat more befitted your rank.\"", "id": 9452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "We Anglophiles will, by default,\nPraise the English \u2014 their works we'll exalt.\nThough foreigners appear\nTo us English quite queer,\nWe know it's not really their fault.", "id": 9453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When victims are sick with listeria,\nAnd their sera are thick with bacteria,\nThe patients so stricken\nAre febrile and sicken,\nAnd frequently suffer deliria.", "id": 9454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The banjoist thought it was fun\nTo compete; and he thought he had won.\nThough his pickin' was nice,\nIt just didn't suffice,\nSince the guy that he dueled had a gun.", "id": 9455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Elise", "limerick": "It was often quite quiet at work,\nAnd I saw my free time as a perk.\nI spent my whole day\nIn the office, at play,\n'Til my boss bawled me out! (What a jerk...)", "id": 9456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The anesthetist hankered to speak\nTo the students about his technique.\nThough old and retired,\nHe always inspired,\nRecounting his daze of the weak.", "id": 9457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "msewell", "limerick": "That balconied opera hall\nHad mezzanines gilded and tall.\nThe patrons could go\nUp above for the show\nAnd worry of naught but a fall.", "id": 9458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although scrubbing my bathroom's a chore,\nIt's so clean you can eat off the floor.\nI invited Lucille\nTo a candlelit meal,\nBut the toilet was hard to ignore.", "id": 9459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This Indian deer likes to chomp\nIn the grassy wet bed of the swamp.\nIt's got antlers galore\u2014\nSay, a dozen or more!\nBarasingha's not lacking in pomp.", "id": 9460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The obsession with matters alchemic\n(A delusion that's rare though endemic)\nTroubles people, I'm told,\nWho attempt to make gold,\nBut it's hopeless\u2014thus ends my polemic.", "id": 9461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though he wasn't reality-based,\nIn our hearts he's enduringly placed.\nBy the windmill, defiant,\n(He thought it a giant),\nDon Quixote was banefully faced.", "id": 9462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You can say it of so many things:\nMuseums, the castles of kings,\nThe ant, when it breeds,\nAnd the covers of seeds \u2014\nAliferous means it has wings.", "id": 9463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Philistine king known as Achish\nGave banquets both cake-ish and steak-ish,\nAnd when Saul started ravin',\nGave David safe haven,\nThough David's allegiance proved fake-ish.", "id": 9464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My nephew is hopeless with doubles\u2014\nThat's to say he has dating-type troubles.\nSince his dates all complain\nWhen they're drunk on champagne,\n\"Buy them baubles,\" I told him, \"not bubbles.\"", "id": 9465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Consider, each time that you fling\nThat odd-smelling paper-like thing\nIn your dryer: it could\nMake your laundry smell good,\nAnd should also make clothes anticling.", "id": 9466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Allochiria stung Hamlet's mother\nAs she lay between brother and brother;\nOn the wrong side she felt\nEach caress that was dealt,\n'Til she couldn't tell one from the other.", "id": 9467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If it's dropped down your shirt, it will tickle;\nIt's aculeiform, shaped like a prickle.\nIt will stick like a thorn,\nSo I've seen fit to warn \u2014\nNow you needn't get into this pickle.", "id": 9468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My life has turned drabbish and stale-ish;\nWhat was satiny now feels percale-ish;\nMy singing sounds flat,\nI'm ignored by my cat,\nAnd my ale doesn't even taste alish.", "id": 9469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An avatar means, to a Hindu,\nWhen Vishnu became this guy Vindoo.\nBut now it can mean\nThe cool pic on your screen\nThat IDs you in some online windoo.", "id": 9470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My pet Amazona's a parrot;\nIf you want, you can give him a carrot.\nHe's unlikely to eat it;\nHe'll peck it and beat it,\nYet still be reluctant to share it.", "id": 9471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "It's applied science, not theoretical,\nThat draws practical from hypothetical.\nPutting science to use,\nThough, at times can produce\nSome results that strike folks as heretical.", "id": 9472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In no tree\u00b9 does this ariel dwell;\nAnd it isn't a mer-maiden belle.\u00b2\nThough it sounds like a flier,\u00b3\nPerhaps a high wire,\nIt's just an Arabian gazelle.", "id": 9473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Though you're late and you're loaded for bear,\nThough you've got the right change for the fare,\nYou can rant, you can hoot,\nYou can even say, \"shoot!\"\nBut an arquebus won't get you there.", "id": 9475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Abolitionist Henry Ward Beecher\nWas famed as a fiery preacher.\nHis sister, you know,\nWas Ms. H. Beecher Stowe\u2014\nTogether, a stern double-feature!", "id": 9476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though Kevin and Howie and Nick\nAnd A.J. and Brian were slick,\nThe backstreet was slicker:\nTheir car skidded quicker\nThan \"Shape of My Heart\" made me sick.", "id": 9477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cherydactyl", "limerick": "Bel canto's a style operatic\nFor those who like music dramatic.\nA diva will sing,\nUsing clear tones that ring,\nWith technique that you'll find quite emphatic.", "id": 9478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrevOverT", "limerick": "Those Armstrong guys, Louis and Lance,\nAre both Yanks and both famous in France:\nOne blew a mean horn\nTill the other was born\nTo win bike tours with no backward glance.", "id": 9479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a phrase all our astronauts know\nThat's been used since the '60s to show\nThat the countdown can start\nFor a launch to depart:\nThe command center's \"All systems go!\"", "id": 9480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "surrealmonk", "limerick": "An astomous man thought a while\nTo come up with a way he could smile.\nSince the man had no mouth,\nHis plans all went south,\nSo he thought he'd give handshakes a trial.", "id": 9481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Shmuel", "limerick": "My banker ignores my concern\nFor the interest my savings won't earn.\nI think it's quite dire\nThis number's not higher:\nMy annual rate of return.", "id": 9482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "In your grandmother's day (you'd forgotten?)\nThe bathing suit fashions were rotten.\nWith their skirts and their frills\nThey provided few thrills,\nWhereas now\u2014they're just slivers of cotton!", "id": 9483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If invited to play as a sub\nFor the famous Barbarians club\nMy spirits would soar;\nBut to go on to score\u2014\nWhat a tale to retell in the pub!", "id": 9484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Take detergent and soap, and acrylic:\nIf they're properly called amphiphilic,\nThey're also, I'll tell,\nAmphipathic as well\u2014\nA condition that may seem idyllic.", "id": 9485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "See the spirals on top of that column?\nThey're volutes, and I helped to install 'em.\nAnd between 'em, that band?\nIt's a balteus: grand\nLittle feature\u2014unless they recall 'em.", "id": 9486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm an astrogeology jock,\nAnd I study all bodies of rock,\nSuch as Pluto and Mars\nAnd their moons (not the stars)\u2014\nEven Vulcan, the birthplace of Spock.", "id": 9487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Try explaining why spirals are barred,\nAnd you'll learn astrophysics is hard.\nNewton's laws appear broke,\nAnd a galaxy's spoke\nIs a play where dark matter has starred.", "id": 9488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the French conquered England, some knew\nThey could write all the histories, too.\nSee the Normans and God\nSpilling blood on the sod\nIn the Tapestry made in Bayeux.", "id": 9489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Astrophysics is physics in space,\nAnd from quarks to big branes, it's a race\nTo explain all this stuff,\nBut the going gets tough\nWhen Steve Hawking is setting the pace.", "id": 9490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's the backer you need to enchant\nFor the money\u2014a loan or a grant.\nWhen you're staging a play,\nGet an angel, they say.\nThere's the devil to pay if you can't.", "id": 9491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Androstenedione gives you an edge\nOver athletes so timid they hedge.\nTake this hormone and you'll\nBe a star for your school\n(Or so many a fool will allege).", "id": 9492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a drug many sluggers abuse\u2014\nKnown as andro (for short) in the news.\nAndrostenedione's bad!\nBarry Bonds used a scad;\nNow he's sluggish and singing the blues.", "id": 9493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Christian Scientists tend to get heady\nWhen hearing the call to be ready.\nInspiration from God\nMeans an angel will prod\nAnd exhort them to listen to Eddy.", "id": 9494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "What is used to entice is called bait,\nWhich to place in the water and wait\nIs a pastime held high\nIn regard, though just why\nNo one's ever been able to state.", "id": 9495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Monophosphate, I mean AMP,\nIs a mouthful for dummies like me.\nWith adenosine in it,\nIt takes me a minute\nTo say. (Definition takes three.)", "id": 9496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By earning a bachelor of arts,\nYou exhibit the requisite smarts\nTo absorb the B.S.\n(For an A.B., no less!)\nThat a college professor imparts.", "id": 9497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An aeronomer's planning to fly,\nLearning chemistry up in the sky.\nSo he rides a balloon\nAll the way\u2014to the moon!\n(Smoking dope is his way to get high.)", "id": 9498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "\"I don't like the river, that's that-o.\nRowing isn't for me.\" But said Rat, \"Oh!\nMole! Don't be a whiner \u2014\nThere's no pleasure finer\nThan messing about in a bateau!\"", "id": 9499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An anovulant substance suppresses\nOvulation and helps remove stresses\nFrom women who dare\nTo have sex, but don't care\nTo be wearing maternity dresses.", "id": 9500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Amantadine helps you get through\nA contagion that breaks out anew.\nMany viruses might\nMake facsimiles, right?\nWell, sick families are made by the flu.", "id": 9501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Perspective has patent appeal\u2014\nIt can help make a painting look real.\nIn the angular kind,\nWidth and depth are defined\nBy two points, a projection, and zeal.", "id": 9502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Said her hubby, in love with her madly,\n\"I want to make love to you badly!\"\nSaid she, \"Have no fear,\nYou've succeeded, my dear,\"\nWhile recalling their lovemaking, sadly.", "id": 9503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a loom comes a sheet that is greige\nTo a dyer of cloth from Li\u00e8ge\nWho employs a technique\u2014\nA design in batik\u2014\nWhere he waxes and colors it beige.", "id": 9504, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A poetry lover who took\nA limerick audiobook\nOn her drive to L.A.\nYearned for Keats and Millay,\nBut got stuck with an anapest schnook.", "id": 9505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Oh, you sisters are glowing today!\nAnd those abdomens? Growing, I'd say.\nSince you're pregnant, don't fail\nTo get up on this scale\u2014\nNow you're all in the family weigh!", "id": 9506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you dig crocodilians, you might\n(At an archeological site)\nFind an archosaur bone\nFrom a reptile that's known\nAs a pterosaur, noted for flight.", "id": 9507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In my audio-lingual exam,\nI recited from Omar Khayyam.\nI am fortunate, still,\nFor this Arabic drill:\nJug of wine, loaf of bread, lots of jam.", "id": 9508, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An arrestant, upon its release,\nWill make insects desist and surcease\nGiving thanks to the Lord\nFor the room and the board\nThat a plant was providing in peace.", "id": 9509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's an antibiotic in store\nFor those growths and fibromas galore.\nAzaserine's its name,\nShrink-a-tumor's its game:\nC5H7N3O4.", "id": 9511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Batrachivorous diners converse\nAbout breakfasts that sound like a curse.\nWhen you first eat a frog\nNice and fresh from the bog,\nThen your day? It can hardly get worse.", "id": 9512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A pastry that's shaped like a boat\nOn a puddle of chocolate might float.\nIt is called a barquette\nAnd you'll never regret\nIf one happens to sail down your throat.", "id": 9513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Flour sifted, eggs ready to break,\nAnd the oven preheated: let's bake!\nMix in sugar and spice,\nAnd some cocoa\u2014how nice!\nWhen it's ready, we'll eat chocolate cake.", "id": 9514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "AIDS is the scourge of our time;\nThat it still kills so many's a crime.\nWith no cure still the rule,\nHave safe sex (meaning, you'll\nUse condoms) and live through your prime.", "id": 9515, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When speaking of something that's strange\nOr deviant, outside the range,\nUse anomaly, or,\nIf the norm you abhor,\nAnomalism's nice for a change.", "id": 9516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Simple answers he gives at the max;\nAll unprompted addenda he lacks.\nIn the brain, lesions cause\nAlogia's faux pas;\nAs on Dragnet, he'll give just the facts.", "id": 9517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Shoot me now!\" hollered Daffy to Fudd;\nThen he thought, \"Pronoun trouble, oh crud.\"\nElmer shot him at will;\nWith a bang, Daffy's bill\nAnimatedly fell in the mud.", "id": 9518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Crystal sugar cane juice (called alphenic,\nBy physicians from schools Avicennic)\nWas prescribed to allay\nStubborn hiccoughs, which prey\nOn the diaphragm's nerve we call phrenic.", "id": 9519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Peninah", "limerick": "As a sailor in battle, beware\nWhen you're feeling no wind in your hair,\n'Cause you're stuck!  You're becalmed!\nYou can't move if you're bombed!\nGrab your oars and make wake out of there!", "id": 9520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If making a choice is a strain,\nOr detachment you wish to maintain,\nWhen it's time for your say,\nDon't say \"yea,\" don't say \"nay,\"\nDon't explain, just refrain and abstain.", "id": 9521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "He's a fellow who sings in the choir,\nA bit like a bass, only higher.\nThe tenor, Lord love him,\nIs right there above him,\nBut the baritone's softer and shyer.", "id": 9522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My lagoon is a musical place\nWhere a swingin' sardine sets the pace.\nHear the lyrical loon\nPlay a rippin' harpoon,\nWhile the scaly old bass sings the bass.", "id": 9523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Her admonishing glance gave me pause.\nHer censure was not without cause,\nFor I danced 'round the flat\nWearing pants as a hat\nTo our dinner guests' mirthful applause.", "id": 9524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's a problem that has me obsessed.\nIt keeps me awake; I can't rest.\nThough I think day and night,\nI just can't get it right:\nBefore barns, where did barn swallows nest?", "id": 9525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When museums take in a possession\nThey politely will speak of \"accession\"\u2014\nThat's getting some stuff\nWhen you've more than enough\n(If a country's involved, it's \"aggression\").", "id": 9526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A place by the St. Lawrence River\nCooks tender, delectable liver.\nThe server's a flirt,\nAnd she'll bring free dessert\nIf your apple-pie order you'll give her.", "id": 9527, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My life you have written, I see,\nAnd I'm thrilled I'm the biographee!\nI had been quite concerned,\nBut at last you have learned\nThat it's always, my dear, about me.", "id": 9528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "At lectures, I'm known for my snores;\nThey shake both the ceilings and floors.\nI know that I'm crass\nWhen I doze off in class,\nBut I blame my professors, those bores!", "id": 9529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "You do not want this fight to begin;\nI suggest it is time to give in.\nI will end this debate\nWith my height and my weight:\nI am bigger than you, so I win.", "id": 9530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A limerick that's mythic is sweeter:\nAphrodite's divine, Hermes fleeter.\nI'm thinkin' of Hymen\nWhenever I'm rhymin'\nAnd singin' the praise of Demeter.", "id": 9531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Aurea mediocritas ain't\nJust a phrase that is foreign or quaint.\nIt's the famed \"golden mean\",\nOr the state  that's between\nRude abandon and prissy restraint.", "id": 9532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Enduring's the fame of great Churchill,\nYet some are allowed to besmirch still\nHis dignified mien.\nIt's unfair and obscene\nWhat those pigeons for whom he's a perch spill.", "id": 9533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A new donor of blood, Percy Peters,\nWas assailed by computerized meters.\nHe was giving and kind,\nYet those brutes didn't mind\nWhen they took his young life (and six litres).", "id": 9534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Alphabetic brats cheat, droll Evette,\"\nFumed Guy Hezlatt, \"if joshing kids let\nMy no-open-place Q\nRemain stranded! That U\nVoids wry xerus, Yvetta Zlahett!\"", "id": 9535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When my aircraft came down it got stripped\nAs its belly was opened and ripped.\nAfter parting a flock\nOf shocked sheep, it struck rock,\nWhich then tore out its heart \u2014 and it flipped.", "id": 9536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Like the Greeks, first read forwards and then\nnehw ,dne eht litnu sdrawkcab ot hctiwS\nYou'll have learned how to read\ndeeps avulleh eno tA\nAnd to alternate lines that you pen.", "id": 9537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though your vagueness on Protocol Sigma\nAnd cryptograms carries no stigma,\nIt's high time you knew\nThat throughout World War II\nBletchley Park made a fool of Enigma.", "id": 9538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Frenchmen honour Napoleon Bonaparte,\nYet so many souls had been blown apart\nOr slaughtered by sword\nFor that little liege lord\nBefore Wellington tore his gilt throne apart.", "id": 9539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Said Miss Happ, \"As examiners go,\nYou're the best of the thirteen I know!\"\nHe sighed, \"Thanks, but your test\nWas atrocious. You'd best\nMove your car, for it's parked on my toe.\"", "id": 9540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The agouti's a rodent who feeds\nIn the forest on berries and seeds.\nHe is preyed on by cats\nAnd by eagles, and that's\nAll the info that anyone needs.", "id": 9541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The astrodynamicist knows\nHow a body in outer space slows\nUnder gravity's force.\nIt's mechanics, of course,\nBut applied to those heavenly shows.", "id": 9542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abetalipoproteinemia:\nA disorder of blood (not leukemia).\nMalabsorption of fats,\nMuscle weakness, and that's\nJust a start. There's a link to uremia.", "id": 9544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a famed allegorical farm\nWhere the animals note with alarm\nHow we humans oppress,\nSo the pigs more or less\nRun us off and do similar harm.", "id": 9545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a line from you men that has tensed me\nAnd every so often incensed me:\n\"If I told you you're hot\nAnd that body you've got\nIs divine, would you hold it against me?\"", "id": 9546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm in love with my wonderful bride\nWho likes basketball, cars that collide,\nAnd my plasma TV.\nAndrocentric is she,\nWell in touch with her masculine side.", "id": 9547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cannibal's belly's dilated;\nThe dinner tonight left him sated.\nHis ampliate gut\nMeans he amply ate\u2014what?\nBoth the food and the girl he just dated.", "id": 9548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm abashed and embarrassed and rattled;\nHere's what sis said to Dad when she tattled:\n\"He put poop in a bag\nOn a stoop as a gag,\nLit a match, rang the bell, and skedaddled.\"", "id": 9549, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An autarkical nation is one\nWhose dependence on others is done.\nIts economy stands\nOn its own and demands\nBoth respect and a place in the sun.", "id": 9550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Having asthma's a difficult scene,\nAnd this wheezer finds teens can be mean.\nBut the word is my friend,\nWith those A's at each end\nAnd the consonants all in between.", "id": 9552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "For invective, my plan is to switch\nTo acronychous rather than bitch.\nI'll explain (with a pause),\n\"Having hooves, nails, or claws,\"\nWhile declining to specify which.", "id": 9553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "I once met a girl who spoke Spanish\nWith a voice vaguely . . . shall I say . . . mannish.\nI said, \"Should I assume?\"\nShe said, \"Come a mi room\"\u2014\nWhere my doubts she proceeded to banish.", "id": 9554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "In a back dive, just follow this rule,\nIf you don't want to look like a fool:\nStand facing the board\nAnd jump off, but good Lord!\nIt's essential to land in the pool!", "id": 9555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "If you read the French poet Baudelaire,\nWith his poison, his harlots, his flair\nFor grim Death, you will see,\nIn his verses' debris,\nThe way beauty can bloom from despair.", "id": 9556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Those bagnios are brothels, it seems,\nAnd for business they go to extremes.\nWith music two vied\nTo lure takers inside;\n\"Dueling Bagnios\" were filling men's dreams!", "id": 9557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "With only one chance to explore\nThe nightlife, we went door to door\nTo each pub on the street\nDowning drinks as we'd meet\nAll those barflies who barhop still more.", "id": 9558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "All ye who would enter this place\nMust anapest meter embrace.\nIf you do, you're a poet.\nWear this badge\u2014proudly show it.\n\"OEDILFer\", it says\u2014\"mental case\".", "id": 9559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The candidate laid out his goals,\nWhich critics then shot full of holes.\nSome wag said with mirth\nHe'd end up like the Earth:\nSort of applanate \u2014 squooshed at the poles.", "id": 9560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The greatest new car you can get\nWas designed by the folks at Neu Jet.\nBackseat drivers beware,\nNo more comments\u2014don't dare,\nOr I'll push that \"eject switch\" I've set.", "id": 9561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Pasqual, an old concert-hall dweller,\nHad a voice critics labeled as stellar.\nHe would sing songs del mundo\nIn basso profundo,\nA range somewhere down in the cellar.", "id": 9562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Little girl, don't use all of your might,\nFor you can't skip a rope if it's tight.\nStand relaxed in the middle,\nGive just a small twiddle,\nAnd jump at the oncoming bight.", "id": 9563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "His perception of life\u2014something fierce;\nIt was rendered with wit that could pierce.\nHe might well, as a cynic,\nHave offered a clinic,\nThat ambrosial scribe, Ambrose Bierce.", "id": 9564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "While enjoying a bowlful of cereal,\nI erupted a sneeze so bacterial\nThat I opened my eyes\nTo a foaming surprise:\nIt fermented my breakfast material!", "id": 9565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antiatoms are strange and absurd,\nBut exist, it is widely averred.\nAntiparticles are\nTheir true essence and star\nIn an opposite world, so I've heard.", "id": 9567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Victoria's Secret was strong,\nBut its profits dried up before long.\nSo by auctioning assets\nIn all of their facets,\nThe business was sold for a thong.", "id": 9568, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "tobyr21", "limerick": "Accommodationist tendencies savor\nA compromise \u2014 some say they quaver.\nThey'll tolerate you\nIn whatever you do,\nJust as long as you don't show disfavor.", "id": 9569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These artifacts found in Bombay\nWere intended for use, not display;\nBut some dotty old fool\nThinks they're arty and cool,\nSo he's labeled them \"objets trouv\u00e9s.\"", "id": 9571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm addicted to liquor, but abler,\nThrough help from my wife, to seem stabler.\nCodependence is great!\nI've a marvelous mate\nWho's a ready and willing enabler.", "id": 9572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The union continues to strike,\nAnd the management says, \"Take a hike.\"\nTheir positions are fixed,\nAnd a settlement's nixed\nBy both workers and bosses alike.", "id": 9573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A silly aversion (absurd!)\nIs irrational fear of a word.\nLogophobia strikes\nOur adults and our tykes.\nThere are people, I've heard, who hate turd.", "id": 9575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Yes, I've got lots of clothes in my house,\nBut I can't tell a shirt from a blouse.\n I'm a guy; I don't care\n What a woman might wear.\nYou'd be better off asking my spouse.", "id": 9576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "With my beggarly life in the slum,\nI subsist on old bread and used gum.\n Yet I donate at church,\n Lest my name they besmirch\n(Even though it's a beggarly sum).", "id": 9577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I am curst by a tail I must tel:\nMy bewitchment is maeking liefe hell.\n  An ohld witch laft in glee,\n  Pointid fingurs at me \u2014\nNow I'm undur a teribul spel!", "id": 9578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Spock was dead. Things were looking quite grim.\n\"What's the best-case scenario, Jim?\"\n  \"Well, at best,\" he replied,\n  \"We'll escape, though Spock's died,\nAnd at worst, we'll all end up like him.\"", "id": 9579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The obsession with breasts in our nation\nLeads some gals to seek augmentation.\n I guess they must figger\n That making 'em bigger\nIs bound to increase compensation.", "id": 9580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Watch the undergrowth as you walk through it,\nAnd you might catch a glimpse of a bluet:\n Tufted stem, bluish flower.\n For men mad for power,\nThis plant's even madder. Who knew it?", "id": 9581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Christmas pageants for which I audition\nMay need props to help fuel my ambition.\n So to star as Madonna\n (Which I really wanna),\nTwo traffic cones I requisition.", "id": 9582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When balloons are in lavish supply,\nFilled with helium, making them fly,\nAnd you take them en masse,\nBreathing in all the gas,\nThen your voice will be pitched really high.", "id": 9583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "The Amish live simply and well.\nAs builders they truly excel.\nThey begin at first light\nAnd they work until night,\nRaising barns up without raising hell.", "id": 9584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Anoxaemia, altitude sickness,\nAffects one's good judgement and quickness.\nThe lead climber says, \"Yo,\nDown the mountain you go!\"\n(And you can't blame the dude for his strictness.)", "id": 9585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Some termites attacked, overran\nA dolly much loved by Louanne.\nShe plugged all the orifices,\nSaid \"Anthropomorphosis!\"\nPoof! Waved her wand, made a man.", "id": 9586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I know you're a little dismayed\nBy the purchases we have not made,\nBut we'll buy more from you\nIf you buy from us too:\nWe're preserving the balance of trade.", "id": 9587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If you catch acariasis, mites\nCall you home and you itch from their bites.\nIf you're human, it's strange;\nIf you're not, it's called mange.\nEither way, it'll keep you up nights.", "id": 9588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Before trying this rock-climbing fad,\nI had eaten Chinese with my dad.\nHalfway up a long climb\nWas not the best time\nTo discover the meat had gone bad.", "id": 9589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "My stomach felt empty and hollow,\nSo my wife cooked me penne al pollo;\nBut I just couldn't eat.\nWhat caused my defeat?\nAphagia \u2014 it means you can't swallow.", "id": 9590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're looking for noble and nice,\nMany fictional heroes suffice.\nIf it's cynics you seek,\nWith a violent streak,\nAntiheroes are sure to entice.", "id": 9591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the mirror above us first cracked,\nAll the demons of darkness attacked.\nThey've absorbed all the light\nWith an orb black as night,\nLeaving naught to reflect nor refract.", "id": 9592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your parrot has stopped being talky\nSince her perch was removed to Milwaukee:\nYour parrot's deceased!\nI said, \"Not in the least\u2014\nShe's just being uncommonly balky!\"", "id": 9593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "My home on the sea floor is magic,\nBut it seems that my life will be tragic:\nThe mermaids I woo\nWill have nothing to do\nWith the bed (they're abyssopelagic).", "id": 9595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's B-ball all over the 'hood.\nHey, we'd play every day if we could!\nIn our hoop-de-doo dreams,\nWe lead NBA teams\nAnd we dominate Shaq, we're so good.", "id": 9598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With this war, no one knows what awaits us.\n'Round the world, every leader berates us.\nWe eat \"Freedom Fries,\"\nSay to hell with allies,\nAnd then wonder why everyone hates us.", "id": 9599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Let us study the heroes we meet\nIn the comic-book archives, and greet\nAll their enemies, too!\nIt's the archrivals who\nMake the archival reading a treat.", "id": 9600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Proper seafood should never have legs;\nAll these actinal kinds are the dregs.\nLittle squiddies and starfish\nCan make me feel barfish.\nI'll just have the bacon and eggs.", "id": 9601, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When Samson, a captive, and blinded,\nLost his temper: 3009 dead.\nAll but one were his foes,\nPlus himself. Well, who knows \u2014\nWas he valiant or just bloody-minded?", "id": 9602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It is oxymoronically known,\nAnd for ornamentality grown.\nA deciduous vine,\nUp a tree it will twine.\nFruit of bittersweet? Leave it alone.", "id": 9603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "For her birthday I gave her Amsonia,\nBut I stupidly called it begonia.\n\"It's the 'blue star'\u2014superb!\nA perennial herb!\nLearn your plants or I'm gonna disown ya.\"", "id": 9604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "My fictional wife is not real,\nWhich is part of her charm and appeal.\nFirst she's here, then she's not.\nWhen I miss her a lot,\nI await her return with great zeal.", "id": 9605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It's a synonym, not often heard,\nFor forbidden, an everyday word.\nCalled bluebeard, it's from\nA fairytale bum\nWho kept six murdered wives uninterred.", "id": 9606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Albugineous:  white as can be,\nLike a berg, or a ghost you can see;\nLike the white of an egg,\nA cadaverous leg,\nOr a branch on a snow-covered tree.", "id": 9607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "When an eel bites your thigh, brings a tear\nTo your eye, that's a moray, my dear.\nLove's 'amore', recall,\nThus will love conger all,\nAnd my eeloquence hasn't a peer.", "id": 9608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "The accompanable woman said, \"Hey,\nIf you'd like, we can party all day.\nI can be your new pal \u2014\nI'm a sociable gal!\nFor me, life's no work and all play.\"", "id": 9609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "On a balandra I sailed with a deacon,\nSearched the shore with a glass for a beacon.\nThen I spotted at last\nThe balize from the mast\nAnd tacked toward the cove we were seekin'.", "id": 9610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Bob and Robert, two runners, excel\nAt the summertime sports.  If you tell\nThem that snow on their mile\nWould be crampin' their style,\n\"We bobsled all winter!\" they yell.", "id": 9611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "To be chemoselective indeed,\nBorohydride will help you succeed.\nOnly ketones reduce,\nThus enabling the use\nOf the esters and amides you need.", "id": 9612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A doctor who studied biology\nDropped out of advanced acuology.\nHe said, with a tear,\n\"Since it's needles I fear,\nI'll give my sincerest apology.\"", "id": 9613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "The future looked stormy and dark\nWhen Noah was building his ark\nTo be the salvation\nOf all of creation\n(Excepting the whale and the shark).", "id": 9614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "He heisted some artwork, but whoa!\nThe gas Inness Astro was low,\nAnd he had no Monet.\nIf he did, he Wood pay\nFor Degas that could make the van Gogh.", "id": 9615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "John's new baby cries much of the night,\nBut her cry is peculiar.  That's right,\nFor it sounds just like laughter\u2014\nFirst yowl and thereafter.\nShe's really an odd bawl, alright.", "id": 9616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Alternative medicine's skill\nWon't be paid by insurance, but still\nAcupuncture is swell\nIf the jab is done well,\nBut beware, you'll get stuck with the bill.", "id": 9617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "When giving a public address,\nDon't get yourself bogged down in stress.\nJust speak with precision\nAnd try to envision\nThe crowd in a state of undress.", "id": 9618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "No more pain? Do ya think that'd please ya?\nThey could boil ya and burn ya and freeze ya.\nThey could prod ya and prick ya,\nAnd punch ya and kick ya.\nWhat a world if we lost our algesia!", "id": 9619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A chemist, while having a fling,\nSaid, \"I'll buy you a big diamond ring.\"\nHe gave graphite instead.\nWhen she grumbled he said,\n\"They're allotropes, just the same thing.\"", "id": 9620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You believe all the things admen tell you.\nThey don't have to coerce or compel you.\nYou're the faceless admass\n(That's the gullible class)\nSo come here, I have something to sell you.", "id": 9621, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Phenazopyridine, druggists will know,\nHas the brand name of AZO, and though\nIt turns pee orange-red\n(Don't you dare wet your bed!),\nIt relieves all that pain as you go.", "id": 9622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The Columbia shuttle was doomed \u2014\nThrough ablation its tiles were consumed.\nOne small crack caused by foam,\nAnd it never came home.\nThrough that entry point, fatal fire bloomed.", "id": 9623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Charles Addams, a sketcher of fame,\nPenned morbid cartoons to acclaim.\nThe family he drew\nMade their TV debut\nIn the series that carries his name.", "id": 9624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "They had scrambled so hard for the puck\nThat by accident someone got struck\nIn the face with a stick.\nRetribution was quick \u2014\nOn red ice, both the teams ran amok.", "id": 9625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "At a cookout, you'd want a potato\nWith beefsteak, and also a plate o'\nDelicious baked beans,\nFluffy biscuits, some greens,\nAnd a nice juicy beefsteak tomato.", "id": 9626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was only a kid about three\nWhen my father decided to flee,\nLeaving Mom on her own\nWith my big sister Joan\nAnd another abandonee\u2014me!", "id": 9627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a seaside resort go the sails\nOut to Cardigan Bay and its gales.\nAberystwyth's a town\nGetting fame and renown\nFrom the National Library of Wales.", "id": 9628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Young Billy loved Gigi LaRue \u2014\nHe would chat on the phone all day through.\nShe said, \"Phoning is nice,\nBut I can't hear it twice.\nCould you send me a note? Billet-doux!\"", "id": 9629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A sturdy young slave known as Gaius\nSaid, \"Friend, we'll be left on the dais.\nWith A.R.D.A.* laws,\nAll these guys prefer flaws\nAnd resist any impulse to bias.\"", "id": 9630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The paint on that wall's white as snow;\nAny mark there would instantly show.\nIt won't suffer the touch\nOf a chair or a hutch:\nI have nothing against it, you know.", "id": 9631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Attitude really means \"pose.\"\nFor example, stand up on your toes\nWith your arms far outstretched\n(It can look quite farfetched),\nJust like Mercury bringing a rose.", "id": 9632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Whenever we're going out hunting,\nMy buddy starts wheezing and grunting.\nHe's asthmatic, I know,\nBut we can't bag a crow;\nAll the game finds that racket affronting.", "id": 9633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My friend is a psychic, flamboyant,\nWho goes by the name of Clare Voyant.\nShe teases her hair\nTill it's high in the air\u2014\nHer coiffure, like her aura, is buoyant.", "id": 9634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I always use limb to mean leg,\nAnd I always say ovum for egg.\nAs I stand on the street\nWith my hat at my feet,\nI always beseech, never beg.", "id": 9635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "She spoke with a soft southern drawl,\nAnd her gown was most wondrous of all.\nEvery bright shiny spangle\nWould jingle and jangle:\nShe was truly the belle of the ball.", "id": 9636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Agnation: don't think of your mother,\nOr your aunt, or your sister or brother.\nIf you want to advance\nTo a kingdom in France,\nIt's your father you heed, and none other.", "id": 9637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I like barbecue; you prefer stew.\nFor me, only chocolate will do,\nWhile you are a fella\nWho goes for vanilla:\nI see no accordment, do you?", "id": 9638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Are our operatives here?  Then perhaps\nWe could now start reviewing our maps.\nBut I must be assured\nThat our bunker's secured\nAnd that all are accounted for, chaps.", "id": 9639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I visited Egypt with Sam,\nWho is normally meek as a lamb.\nWhen we went to the Nile,\nSammy cracked a huge smile,\nSaying, \"Damn!  Aswan helluva dam!\"", "id": 9640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Mix butter and flour up well,\nLet them heat and then cook for a spell.\nPour in milk (very quick!),\nGive a stir till it's thick,\nAnd voil\u00e0! you have sauce b\u00e9chamel!", "id": 9641, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My pigeon can fly with great speed,\nAnd your message he's sure to abede.\nWon't complain, not a peep,\nAnd he really works cheap:\nFor his fee, all you need is some seed.", "id": 9642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My actor friend Thessaly's short,\nAnd she isn't a very good sport.\nShe recited Act Four\nRather close to the floor:\nActing up was her final resort.", "id": 9643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An abundary of rhymes will exist\nWhen we're through adding words to our list.\nOf wry verses, of course,\nWe're a plentiful source\n(Because that is abundary's main gist).", "id": 9644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Many singers of old sang the blues\nWith such grace, no one dares fill their shoes.\nBut they got through their nights\nThanks to reds and to whites\nAnd to liberal helpings of booze.", "id": 9645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In molecule-clouds out in space,\nOrganic reactions take place.\nAstrochemistry's rife\nWith precursors of life,\nBut evolves at a ponderous pace.", "id": 9646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A function or thing that is oral\nRelates to the mouth (unlike aural,\nWhich means \"of the ear\",\nOr of something you hear),\nBut far from the mouth \u2014 that's aboral.", "id": 9647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The Golden Fleece \u2014 that was the cargo\nThat Jason shipped home in the Argo;\nHere's the speech made in port\nBy the bold argonaut:\n************************1", "id": 9648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Mrs Jarvis, who never thinks small,\nStaged a ballet in Cam Village Hall.\nBut Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake\nProved a major mistake\nWhen a swan broke her hip in a fall.", "id": 9650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Actor Harrison Ford played a flip\nAdventurer, slick with a whip.\nA stinging reversal\nCame during rehearsal\u2014\nThe backlash! (His whip gave him lip.)", "id": 9651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Owls' ears are designed to perfection\nFor the subtlest rustle's detection,\nAs the shapes 'round their eyes,\nAsymmetric in size,\nHave evolved parabolic reflection.", "id": 9652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Wear a boot when about in a boat;\nWhen you sail through a gale, wear a coat.\nDon't forget there's a threat\nThat you'll get soaking wet,\nSo it's best if you're dressed when afloat.", "id": 9653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The minister often desired\nTo arrange choral hymns he admired.\nBut the singers, though nice,\nCame at too high a price;\nFor a song, they could not be acquired.", "id": 9654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "There's a crapload of books in my house.\nBlame my bibliomaniacal spouse!\nShe guards them all day  \u2014\nJust like Gollum she'll say,\n\"They're my precioussss! Don't touch them, you louse!\"", "id": 9655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "Luke thought he'd encountered some raiders\nWho he figured were Vader's crusaders.\nWhen he fired his blaster\nTo ward off disaster,\nThey fled\u2014being just simple traders.", "id": 9656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "In their search for the billable hour,\nYoung lawyers become somewhat sour\n(For example, Bill Miller,\nMy law firm's top biller \u2014\nWho can't even find time to shower).", "id": 9657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Do you drown in the deeps of despair,\nAnd feel pain beyond any compare?\nIf thusly you languish,\nYou might call it anguish\u2014\nBut no, you're just brushing your hair.", "id": 9658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The banesman is feeling the strain.\nAll this tromping about in the rain\nWreaking vengeance is trying;\nHis wife's always crying,\n\"This blood leaves a horrible stain!\"", "id": 9659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "democritus_3", "limerick": "We're up late, though the waiting will weary us,\nAnd the night air may prove deleterious.\nThis cactus combines\nWhite blossoms and spines.\nIt's the night-blooming Acanthocereus.", "id": 9660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A fellow named Jung (first name Carl)\nAllowed us our dreams to unsnarl,\nShowing themes centered 'round\nAll the archetypes found\nWithin psyches, which might gnash and gnarl.", "id": 9661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "At the edge of the woods I was harking\nTo songs of the thrushes and marking\nTheir flights arcing higher;\nOne snagged on a wire,\nWhich started a power line arcing.", "id": 9662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A BMX racer named Worm\nHad a smashup that made viewers squirm.\nHe had turned not at all,\nSo he hit the earth wall.\nHe's infirm 'cause the berm was too firm.", "id": 9663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "There was something quite wrong with his eyes,\nSo all shades seemed achromatized dyes.\nAny time of the day,\nEvery flower looked grey,\nAs he walked under cloudy-ash skies.", "id": 9664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a medal for physicist Kevin,\nWhose meddling mettle's in heaven.\nThat metal that glowed\nIn the dark was a load\nOf actinium-227.", "id": 9665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An acicular, needle-shaped knife\nSoon resolves all the strife in her life;\nWith a stab and a twist\nOf her delicate wrist,\nShe's a widow, no longer a wife.", "id": 9666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "A medieval physician who's mean\nAnd whose dark disposition's routine\nMay blame the black bile,\nAnd self-bleed for awhile,\nTo solve problems with kidney or spleen.", "id": 9668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "Many law students study all night\n'Til exhaustion plays tricks with their sight.\nBlindly stumbling to school\nTo recite legal rule,\nThey hope blackletter law comes to light.", "id": 9669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bible says women should bow\nTo the will of their husbands, and vow\nTo submit and obey\u2014\nThus evangelists say\nWho have seen the apocalypse: N.O.W.!", "id": 9670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "The specialist called acoustician\nCould assist the performing musician.\nHe's an expert on sound,\nIncluding, I've found,\nIts production, control, and transmission.", "id": 9671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Acephalic? It's lacking a head.\nAcardiac? Heartless, instead.\nIf acaudate, no tail\u2014\nBut all three tip the scale,\nAnd your pet might be better off dead.", "id": 9672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With a tug, I'm unplugging my phone.\nFor my tea, I'm preparing a scone\nWith some apricot jelly.\nI'll turn on the telly:\nCeremonial tea on my own.", "id": 9673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since contracting a case of TB,\nI've received all my care COD:\nI get antitubercular\nDrugs from a circular.\nShipping, moreover, is free.", "id": 9674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We, the Church, will decide what is true,\nAnd to doubt Holy Writ is taboo.\nGalileo's compliance\nWith our antiscience\nAgenda is long overdue.", "id": 9675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "On the shore of a tiny lagoon\nWas constructed a crude barracoon\nWhere the convicts were held,\nAnd, moreover, compelled\nTo perform (for the crew) Brigadoon.", "id": 9676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Take a middle-aged reference librarian,\nA monastic and tonsured sectarian,\nOne who fixes and cleans\nAll the copy machines,\nAnd combine them; you've got an armarian.", "id": 9677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "It's a tablet that's antimalaria,\nWith side effects said to be hairier.\nAlthough mefloquine could\nCause psychosis, you should\nTake your medicine \u2014 dying is scarier.", "id": 9678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bathyal part of the floor\nOf the sea is 200 or more\nMeters down\u2014not so deep\nAs abyssal, but keep\nYour O2 on until you reach shore.", "id": 9679, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The strapping young student named Aidan\nWent out with a girl who was laden\nWith bosoms so deep\nHe decided to (bleep)\nThis divine bathukolpian maiden.", "id": 9680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "It's been Barnumized north, south, and west\nWith tremendous abundance and zest.\nIt will fill you with mirth!\nIt's the greatest on earth!\n(But the publicist's under arrest.)", "id": 9681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "A young girl from abroad, the au pair\nComes and lives with a family to care\nFor the children. Mama\nGets a break, and Papa\nA good chance to be human and err.", "id": 9682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "What's anathema's greatly disliked,\nLike a fare when the price was just hiked,\nOr a sudden, harsh chill,\nOr a dentist with drill,\nOr a punch bowl that hasn't been spiked.", "id": 9683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"Will you wed me?\" he asked. \"Oh yes, I'll\nGladly walk with you down the church aisle.\nFor a honeymoon trip\nWe could sail on a ship\nFar away to a tropical isle!\"", "id": 9684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "It was hot where the women were sheltered.\nOpen windows helped some, but they sweltered.\nOnce, a little brown bat\nFlew inside, folded flat,\nAnd slept high on the wall while they weltered.", "id": 9686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "ironmike", "limerick": "ABEND is an acronym showing\nThat programming logic's not flowing\nQuite the way that it should,\nBut it probably would\nIf the programmer's brain were more knowing.", "id": 9687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq and Workshop", "limerick": "Autopilots are, oddly, for planes,\nNot for autos\u2014and rarely for trains.\nWhen these gadgets are set,\nPilots fly to Tibet\nHardly using their hands or their brains.", "id": 9689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The bald eagle, American raptor,\nNow faces a challenging chapter:\nIts range is reduced,\nAnd its prey have deduced\nWhere to go to stay free of their captor.", "id": 9690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "I like wine that's Italian and red.\n\"I shall have a Barolo,\" I said.\nBut I had to think twice\nWhen they told me the price.\nNow I favor Barbera instead.", "id": 9691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "While hunting for wolves on the steppes,\nWe lived on beef jerky and c\u00e8pes.\nBut back on home ground\nBoth I and my hound\n(A borzoi) eat strawberry cr\u00eapes.", "id": 9692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "After building the tower of Babel,\nFolks became a poor polyglot rabble,\nBut they said, \"What the hell,\nWe think babbling is swell.\nWe can use the new words to play Scrabble.\"", "id": 9693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In Australia the peaceful mom wombat\nTries hard to avoid careless combat.\nThe best wombat mommies\nJust care for their \"wommies\",\nWhile combat is left to the \"tombat\".", "id": 9694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "If a food comes with kernels bodacious,\nTiny grains grown internally spacious,\nOr seeds you can scrape\n(Like a kiwi or grape)\nThen you know that your fruit's acinaceous.", "id": 9695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When a Moro was told that he might\nHave to give up his knife, never fight,\nHe said, \"Why should I yield\nAnd have nothing to wield?\nI'd rather barong than dead right.\"", "id": 9696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "As the season of spring takes its course\nI observe the young lambs with remorse.\nThough they baa and they bleat,\nI remember they're meat,\nAnd taste great with mint jelly or sauce.", "id": 9697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When deciding which dressing to coat\nHer green salad with, Kim cast her vote:\n\"Just acetum and oil,\nThat's my method to foil\nThe sharp vinegar taste in my throat.\"", "id": 9698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's true that I dropped our stuffed haddock\nAnd broke it, but why be dramatic?\nI've got a replacement\nDownstairs in the basement\nPlus 23 more in the attic.", "id": 9699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This enchantress my belt is unbuckling,\nAnd I can't help but inwardly chuckling.\nIt's like Hans Christian Andersen\nWere here:  \"Take a gander, son.\nShe once was a true Ugly Duckling!\"", "id": 9700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anticyclone?  I think, \"What the hell...?\nYou're protesting the weather, Michelle?\nAre you some kind of nut?\nI back activists, but\nWhy not march against icebergs as well?!\"", "id": 9701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "My computerized dog's a delight\u2014\nA great guard, and I sleep through the night.\nHis brain? CPU.\nHis sound card's great, too,\nSo his bark is as bad as his byte!", "id": 9702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a band on a stage is a loon\nWho is blowing his blasted bassoon\u2014\nUninhibited, cute,\nBut so tin-eared he'll toot\nWith abandon, forsaking the tune.", "id": 9703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An aegyptopithecus sits\nIn a tree eating peaches with pits.\nWith his 32 teeth,\nHe leaves nothing beneath\u2014\nNot a piece of a stone in his...spits.", "id": 9704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bandana that covered his nose\nMade him look like a bandit.  I froze,\nBut his innocent eyes\nBelied his disguise,\nAnd his water-gun ruined the pose.", "id": 9705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The algeripithecus, dears,\nWas a primate who played many years\nIn the past in a tree,\nAnd apparently he\nWas the earliest ape in Algiers.", "id": 9706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The science of astrodynamics\nRequires less work than ceramics.\nWe just study the sky,\nWatching objects go by,\nWith our bodies at rest in our hammocks.", "id": 9707, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I'm a Lutheran. Well . . . I attend!\nThe doctrines I may comprehend.\nBut if ever I doubt\nWhat our faith is about,\nThe Apostles' Creed sure is my friend.", "id": 9708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In my maps of the apse, it seems strange\nThat the vaults, by default, rearrange,\nMaking space polyhedral:\nA mobile cathedral,\nWhose altars can alter or change.", "id": 9709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I seem to be dreaming, asleep,\nWhere a riverbank's seemingly steep.\nThough I've slipped in the stream\nIn the midst of my dream,\nI awake in the midst of the deep.", "id": 9710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A wandering woman named Sally\nGrew tired and decided to dally\nIn a popular spot\nWhere it's sunny and hot:\nThe tropical island of Bali.", "id": 9711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"You're a bawcock\u2014a jolly fine fellow!\"\nArchie says to his pal Donatello.\nBut if he gets miffed,\nWatch his attitude shift:\n\"You're a bauson\u2014a badger!\" he'll bellow.", "id": 9712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since I'm sure you won't want to misspeak\nWhen pronouncing in ancient-type Greek,\nStress is never incurred\nIn a barytone word\nAt the end. Make that syllable weak.", "id": 9713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a moment the camera froze:\nThe groom beams.  The friends smile.  The bride glows.\nThere's a heavenly peace,\nBut the bride's youngest niece,\nIn the background, is picking her nose.", "id": 9714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her baby-dolls (lacy, size 4)\nWeigh together six ounces, no more.\nWhen not sleeping alone,\nTops and bottoms are prone\nTo spend most of the night on the floor.", "id": 9715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An adhocracy governs this city.\nThe results, I attest, are not pretty.\nOur standing will worsen\nUntil there's one person\nIn charge\u2014not this \"rule by committee.\"", "id": 9716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From a town they call Rimini, on\nTo Bologna, then through to Milan\u2014\nThough it's still with us now,\nYears ago this road's how\nAncient Romans went hither and yon.", "id": 9717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If it's apple-pie order you seek\nIn your life, you've a tidiness streak.\nYou are known for your utter\nAbhorrence of clutter.\nYou're an organizational freak.", "id": 9718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Achievance \u2014 an old way to say\nWhat you have accomplished today \u2014\nTo more modern ears\nAs achievement appears,\nBut you should be proud either way.", "id": 9719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When his parents refused him this favor,\nHis wife, named Alcestis, proved braver.\nShe died, went to Hades\n(That's no place for ladies!),\nTill Hercules went down to save her.", "id": 9720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At a crossroads where traffic is light,\nOr less busy at times, like at night,\nA blinker display\nDenotes right-of-way:\nYou may \"Go\" when there's nothing in sight.", "id": 9721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In an aircraft that's lighter than air,\nThere's a ballonet\u2014maybe a pair.\nThese gasbags expand\nAnd contract so you land\nAnd take off from a place like O'Hare.", "id": 9722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The as was a coin that was Roman,\nThe kind seldom found in Wyomin'.\nMade of copper and such,\nThirty-thou bought not much\nOf a dwelling you might feel at home in.", "id": 9723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "No one else.  I am here all alone.\nNo one writes.  No one calls on the phone.\nTo be lonely, my plight,\nDeep in solitude's night.\nThrough the darkness, I cry out and moan.", "id": 9724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Poppa's brother was born as a dame,\nBut soon she grew sick of her frame.\nAuntie hated all chicks,\nSo she got a quick fix:\nAntiwoman, my uncle became.", "id": 9725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "Our old Irish rebel (a Fenian)\nGot two given names: he's Eugene Ian.\nWhen his crimes were policed,\nIan moved to the east\nAnd lived meanly, but free, as Armenian.", "id": 9726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "In an old-timey song of renown,\nWe hear tell of an \"Alice blue gown\".\n'Twas a delicate hue\nOf a soft, silv'ry blue;\nAt least, when 'twas new . . . now it's brown.", "id": 9727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "poi", "limerick": "If you notice a six-carbon group\nSharing one big covalent-bond soup,\nThe shape of that thing,\nWhich we call benzene ring,\nIs a planar hexagonal loop.", "id": 9728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "A coquette whose flirtations were brash\nMet a handsome young butcher whose stash\nOf pork sausage and spuds\nMade him man among studs\nAs a lover of bangers and mash.", "id": 9729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When a billionaire wagered a bet\nOn a race to be run by his pet,\nAll ten million Ben Franklins\nWent in. \"It's no prank! Lynne's\nGot speed, so I think I'm all set!\"", "id": 9730, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Commencement Day fills Harvard Yard\nWith regalia, tasseled and barred.\nSo each college will know\nWhere its graduates go,\nIts large crimson banner stands guard.", "id": 9731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The basking shark's triangle fin\nNeared the boat, then the huge fish closed in\nTill it pulled alongside,\nWith clenched jaws to confide,\n\"You're distracting my lunch with your din.\"", "id": 9732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bordens just grumble and groan,\nNever leaving poor Lizzie alone.\nShe refuses to catch it\nAnd buries the hatchet,\nThus proving she's ax-sudden-prone.", "id": 9733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since the Highlander's backside was purple,\nThe doctor suspected a herpal\nInfection, but no\u2014\nSeems the Scot liked to go\nTo a prossie who paddled his curple.", "id": 9734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Put your cap on, it's windy outside.\n'Neath your chin, keep those strings firmly tied.\nNow, don't act like a brat.\nPlease, it's only a hat.\nWear your biggin, my li'l 'un, with pride!", "id": 9735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My poor limerick on astrobiology\nWas found wanting, without an apology,\nSince among other tasks\nThis discipline asks:\nHow does space affect life's physiology?", "id": 9736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I won't cry; I'm not likely to bawl\nIf I'm \"having a ball\"  in the hall\nWhere the ball's being held,\nThough I've never excelled\nIn what's called ballroom dancing, at all.", "id": 9737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An Arabic mathematician,\nAlhazen was a man with a mission.\nHis Optics relied\nOn experiment, vied\nWith the sages, and broke with tradition.", "id": 9738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I once knew a man, full of hate,\nWhose philosophy I would debate.\nAn anti-Confucian,\nHe loved revolution \u2014\nAntichurch, and what's more, antistate.", "id": 9739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Goliath was meaner and ruder.\nYoung David was smaller but shrewder.\nSaid the King's attach\u00e9,\n\"Call up Henry and say,\n'AffiDavid has need of a Tudor.'\"", "id": 9740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Bacteriophagy downed\nA bug that was going around;\nBecause of it, Lydia\nFound her chlamydia\nEighty percent less profound.", "id": 9741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A big air conditioner's roar\nMakes listening to music a chore.\nThough a breeze hits the spot\nWhen the temp is too hot,\nThe darn noise is too loud to ignore.", "id": 9743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "You're not such a bad sort of bloke,\nBut your cricketing skills are a joke.\nYou first lift up the bat\nBut then leave it at that.\nSuch a backlift should augur a stroke!", "id": 9744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Truly beautiful, partially round,\nGraceful arc, gracing bridges and found\nIn the sky, many hued,\nWith the spectrum imbued\u2014\nThe blue heavens so gloriously crowned!", "id": 9745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A fertility doctor named Sherm\nGot a Madison Avenue firm\nTo promote and attract\nWhat it was that he lacked\u2014\nSo he advertised, asking for sperm.", "id": 9746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you can't find a purpose in life,\nAnd you yearn for the noose or the knife,\nYour unrest is anomic\nAnd seriocomic:\nYou're living in Scotland in Fife.", "id": 9747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abdominothoracic applies\nTo the bodily region that lies\nFrom the chest (and the heart)\nTo the stomach\u2014the part\nOn my torso that's greatest in size.", "id": 9748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antialcohol messages are\nThe most difficult lessons by far\nFor adults and for teens\nWho should both, by all means,\nNever drink when they're driving a car.", "id": 9749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "In avenging a horrible deed,\nPlease take vengeance no more than you need.\n For the deeds that you do\n May beget revenge too,\nSo let kindness and peace be your creed.", "id": 9750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Agrigento's a town on the coast,\nWhere Sicilians live simply and boast\nOf their ruins and beaches\nAnd succulent peaches.\nAgostina's the one I like most.", "id": 9751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anticlassical music? We'd seek\nFor a piece more melodic, less chic.\nAnticlassical art,\nAs a genre apart,\nMakes us long for the Roman and Greek.", "id": 9752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I rented Revenge of the Sith,\nWhose intense allegorical pith\nIs the battle between\nGood and evil on screen.\nIt's a fable\u2014part hit and part myth.", "id": 9753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antheridium: this is the term\nFor the organ producing the germ\nCell (the one that wears pants)\nIn cryptogamous plants \u2014\nI'm referring, of course, to the sperm.", "id": 9754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Little League I was a catcher.\nAfter high school, I worked as a batcher\nOn the factory floor,\nBut I don't any more.\nI'm a big shot!  They made me dispatcher.", "id": 9755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I looked through the microscope, where\nBasement membranes showed many a tear.\nNow if I were designing\nEpithelial lining,\nA sturdier base would be there.", "id": 9756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Banzai is a word you won't see\nIn Milano, Berlin, or Paris.\nIn Japan the word cheers,\nMeaning \"ten thousand years,\"\nWhile a bonsai's a miniature tree.", "id": 9757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I hope that my boyfriend won't mind\nIf I say that we two are affined,\n'Cause it means closely bound\nAnd he'll often expound\nThat he's just not the marrying kind.", "id": 9758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Every woman who lives in this nation\nOught to have antirape education.\nFor her safety, such rules\nShould be taught in all schools\nTo prevent this obscene depredation.", "id": 9759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a man from Botswana\nWho rejoiced when he ate a banana.\nHe'd chuckle and squeal\nAs he pulled off the peel;\nWhen he chewed it he tasted nirvana.", "id": 9760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When barnacles cling to a rock,\nWe don't mind.  When they cling to a dock,\nOr the hull of a boat,\nThey will form a hard coat,\nAnd we have to remove them en bloc.", "id": 9761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're playing the role of a tough,\nAnd your voice has to sound really rough,\nThis technique I can teach:\nIf you asperate speech,\nThinking Bogart, you'll make it sound gruff.", "id": 9762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have chickens and geese everywhere,\nSo with fowl every room I must share.\nThough they run through the darn lot\nThat's known as my barn lot,\nTheir eggs are so good, I don't care.", "id": 9763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He seemed to be bright and gregarious,\nBut his motives, I fear, were nefarious\nWhen he sold me this land.\nWhat he promised was grand,\nBut the soil on my farm's arenarious.", "id": 9764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You won't get a Nobel or a cup;\nYou'll be treated (and paid) like a pup;\nBut it's good if you win\nAn assistantship\u2014in\nAcademia, that's a step up.", "id": 9765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A torch in the prisoner's hand,\nBegging mercy, in penance he'd stand.\nTo the court he'd present\nHis amende, and repent,\nWith a rope round his neck like a band.", "id": 9766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If he's running for office, he'll win,\nThough his record hides many a sin.\nAsk me how I can tell\nThat this fellow is swell?\nWell, he backslaps each time he comes in.", "id": 9767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word agminate means \"grouped together,\"\nEspecially glands; don't know whether\nIt's generally used\n(And it's here I'm confused)\nTo mean \"flocked,\" as in \"birds of a feather.\"", "id": 9768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The wizards of old kept maintaining\nThey could slaughter en masse without straining,\nSo they knocked off a crew\nWith a poisonous brew,\nAnd they spoke of the process as baning.", "id": 9769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you think of a side dish that's nice,\nAnd goes well with cuisine rich in spice,\nAnd is pleasant to eat,\nWith a fragrance that's sweet,\nThen you think of Basmati, the rice.", "id": 9770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "May you live on for ten thousand years,\nShouting \"banzai!\" without need for tears.\nAnd no nasty surprises\nWhen e'er the sun rises \u2014\nYou've conquered each one of your fears.", "id": 9771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"For Cremona Amatis, their quest:\nViolins, they would make the world's best.\nI'll buy you one, Dad,\nOr Guarneri or Strad.\"\nAnd my dad said, \"Why, thanks, be my guest.\"", "id": 9772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "His case to Appeals Court, Don brang\nTo present once again his harangue,\nBut the judge said he ought\nTo have used the word brought,\nBanged his gavel, and said Don should hang.", "id": 9773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To make alkaline or cause transformation\nFrom an acid to base concentration\u2014\nIf your pH goes clean\nUp from 1 to 14,\nThat's the process called basification.", "id": 9774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you bring in the latest technology\nSo that folks can control their ecology,\nLike helping crops sprout\nAfter battling drought,\nThat's the field of applied anthropology.", "id": 9775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Way back, when the wordsmiths were coining\nNew words, someone said that adjoining\nMeant \"adjacent\", a coup\nFor the folks at Bronx U.,\nA college well known for great loining.", "id": 9776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The depth of a man's animosity\nCan extend all the way to ferocity.\nCompared to the love\nThat he's capable of,\nHis ill will is, in short, an atrocity.", "id": 9777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Edwin Aldrin, the astronaut, was\nIn the '60s successful because\nOf his famed lunar stroll\n(Though that fame took its toll).\nFriends and family all know him as \"Buzz.\"", "id": 9778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For Bolivia, Colombia, Peru,\nThe Andean Pact's quite a coup.\nIt's a free market plan\nFor those three countries and\nVenezuela and Ecuador, too.", "id": 9779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Is acne vulgaris a curse?\nLike regular acne but worse?\nWith pustules so bad,\nWorse than anyone's had?\nNo, it's actually quite the reverse.", "id": 9780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Date Eudora yet sleep with Diane?\nWhen he's single, the average guy can.\nIf he's wise, then he manages\nAll the advantages\nBachelordom offers a man.", "id": 9781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aesthesia, I'm led to believe,\nIs a clear back-formation that we've\nGotten from anaesthesia.\n(I knew that would please ya!)\nIt's the power to feel or perceive.", "id": 9782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"An airburst,\" said Francis Scott Key,\n\"Is truly quite something to see!\n(By the way, with my song?\nYou're all singing it wrong!\nMake the first three notes D, B, and G.)\"", "id": 9784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The stench was intense, overpowering!\nThis guy was in need of a scouring.\nAblutophobia meant\nThis malodorous gent\nHad a senseless aversion to showering.", "id": 9786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My father had many affairs\nAnd through bastardy, numerous heirs.\nBut while some folks proclaim\nEach one carries great shame,\nIf there's guilt to be had, it's not theirs.", "id": 9787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aporia deals with confusion\nIn reaching a truthful conclusion.\nWhat is truth?  What is not?\nIs it substance we've got?\nOr is it just passing illusion?", "id": 9788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The OEDILF, that omnificent versery,\nFor talent provides a great nursery.\nWe grow and we thrive\nAnd come May of '05\nWe will have us our first anniversary.", "id": 9789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An angiosperm simply can't\nGet away from the likes of your aunt,\nThe one for whom gardening\nKeeps her arteries from hardening.\nIn short, it's a flowering plant.", "id": 9790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Choreographer Paula Abdul\nHad the moves that made Lakers fans drool.\nNow American Idol\nAnd stardom worldwide'll\nConfirm that she's nobody's fool.", "id": 9792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An unfortunate man from Ft. Worth\nOf testicles suffers a dearth.\nHis anorchia means\nThat he's \"light\" in his jeans,\nAnd has been that way ever since birth.", "id": 9794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though her body's decidedly Dawn,\nHer voice, without question, is Vaughn.\nI want it made clear\nThat my eye, not my ear,\nIs the reason to her I am drawn.", "id": 9795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "At the pie shop, I'm only a clerk,\nAnd my laziness drives some berserk.\nFor example, today\nMy boss twice had to say,\n\"Stop yer arsin' about.  Get to work!\"", "id": 9796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My script garnered adverse publicity\nRegarding its awkward ethnicity.\nSince I am Caucasian,\nThey said that my Asian\nLead character lacked authenticity.", "id": 9797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm an Actress, one hundred percent,\nBut will Model if that's your intent.\nAMW, honey,\nIs how I make money\n(Though \"Whatever\" is paying the rent).", "id": 9798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When you \"bank\" with the mob, don't debate,\nOr they'll hand you your ass on a plate.\nThe least of their crimes:\nCharging interest ten times\nThe applicable federal rate.", "id": 9799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "Said Romeo, rapt in reflection,\n\"The damsel who stole my affection,\nThe fair Juliet,\nStood, the night that we met,\nUp on yon architect'ral projection.\"", "id": 9800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I arrived from Lamar, Oklahoma,\nWith a small basal cell carcinoma.\nI remarked, with a sigh,\n\"Well, at least I'll get high,\"\nBut the doctor said, \"No, that's glaucoma.\"", "id": 9801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The director, uncharacteristically,\nPresents history unrealistically.\nColumbus is shown\nWith a cellular phone,\nThus portraying him anachronistically.", "id": 9802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The party came off with no hitch;\nEach lady had found her own niche.\nThey sat and they sewed;\nThe gossip stream flowed \u2014\nA typical day's \"stitch and bitch\".", "id": 9803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The phrase actum ut supra means \"Yes,\nI have done as above \u2014 nothing less.\"\nModern Romans don't favour it,\nBut Aussies still savour it,\nWriting it thus: A.U.S.", "id": 9804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "JS Bach, to his wife, on retiring:\n\"My new fugue needs a little inspiring\u2014\nCome, my dear, let's be wild,\nAnd risk just one more child!\nBe the Joy of this German's Desiring!\"", "id": 9805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "To hear spoken Azeri, yer man\nGoes to Baku, in Azerbaijan.\nHe might as well seek it\nWhere more people speak it\u2014\nIn neighbouring Northwest Iran.", "id": 9806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "There's a judge in the news who forgot\nTo be fair, as he'd promised; he got\nSent to prison, which shows\nOften that's how it goes:\nSome who swear to be balanced are not.", "id": 9809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bank holiday, sunny and breezy,\nMeans I don't have to work; life is easy.\nBanks are closed, but it's funny,\nCut off from my money,\nI'm always a little bit queasy.", "id": 9810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Stefan Banach discovered a space,\nAn abstract mathematical place,\nAnd if Banach were here,\nIt would all be quite clear.\nI am sure he'd explain it with grace.", "id": 9811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Baskin-Robbins\u2122 makes ice cream that's sweet.  It\nAlone or on pie is a treat.  It\nIs calorie-laden.\nI caution each maiden:\nBe careful how often you eat it.", "id": 9812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"I don't have a beard,\" said the guy\n(The hair on his chin reached his thigh).\nThe answer he gave\nGave the truth a close shave.\nHis barefacedness none could deny.", "id": 9813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet and speedysnail", "limerick": "He proclaimed himself \"Gunther the Great!\"\nBut his subjects said, \"Abdicate, mate!\"\nWhile they rallied each night,\nHis old visage grew white:\nAlbication from fearing his fate.", "id": 9814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "Said an anxious young father, \"Oh, hell!\nNow my eight-year-old daughter, Michelle,\nHas run off with my drill\nScreaming, 'Show them I will!'\nAnd just what might that augur (foretell)?\"", "id": 9815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "You can say it \"ba-NAL,\" also \"BAY-nal\";\nAnd \"ba-NAHL\" is fine, too; I'm not anal.\nIt's a word that means quite\nUnoriginal; trite:\nIt'll work much the same as inane'll.", "id": 9816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In the South, if you're craving caffeine\nBut you haven't a leaf or a bean,\nPick some yaupon and brew it\u2014\nThen drink.  You won't rue it.\n(It's tea: Appalachian, not green.)", "id": 9817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Name three stars,\" Teacher said with a grin,\n\"In the grip of the Dipper. Begin.\"\n\"First, Alkaid,\" said Christine.\n\"Next, Alcor in-between.\nThen it's Alioth, closest one in.\"", "id": 9818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'd rather play tennis with cheaters\nThan baseliners, simple retreaters\nWho won't play the net.\nNot a drop do they sweat,\nThough they'd surely all swear they sweat liters.", "id": 9819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Am I elegant, dextrous, or deft?\nNo; of grace I am sadly bereft.\nAs for why, you'll recall\nThat my feet aren't at all\nAntitropic: they're both of them left.", "id": 9820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Avocados are practically holy\nTo me, so I love guacamole.\nBut I can't eat it quick\nOr I'll make myself sick,\nSo I just have to eat the stuff slowly.", "id": 9822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "First I swallowed my legs (they were grand!),\nThen my organs (the kidneys were bland).\nHope this limerick is done\nBy the time I've begun\nAutophagially eating my ha", "id": 9823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Adansonia trees are all fakes.\nThe monkey-bread nobody bakes.\nNot just one kind's untrue,\nThere are actually two\u2014\nCream-of-tartar would ruin your cakes.", "id": 9824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Have I got a deal for you, John,\"\nSaid the barfly from east Kazakhstan.\n\"I can sell you a dune\nLike a crescent-shaped moon.\"\nDon't be duped by this shady barchan.", "id": 9825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He once owned, Old Man (Ou Ou) O'Ouw,\nThirteen miles of The Orange (The O),\nSo when farmers pumped water,\nHe bantered, \"You oughter,\nOwe O'Ouw o' O (Ou Ou), oh, eau!\"", "id": 9826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Hear that choppy effect? I have pinned it on\nConjunctions the speaker's rescinded, Don.\nThat staccato he gets\nDropping nors, buts, and yets?\nIt's a trick called adversative asyndeton.", "id": 9827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In the realm of medieval romance,\nThe ideal of the man with a lance\nIs named Amadis\u2014knight\nWho is errant, and might\nWear some tight-fitting manganese pants.", "id": 9828, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "'Stead of fishing, I'm sitting here waiting.\nThis weather is so damn deflating:\nIt's been pouring all day,\nAnd I'm sorry to say,\nNeither rain nor my rod is abating.", "id": 9829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "As I watched my TV with a yawn\nAn Allegra commercial came on.\nI'll believe what they say\n(\"Takes rhinitis away!\"),\nBut I'd rather their ads were withdrawn.", "id": 9830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"I shall go,\" said the man from Siberia,\n\"On a pedestal search in Assyria.\nCheck the pediment face\u2014\nAngles apex and base\u2014\nThat is where we will find acroteria.\"", "id": 9831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "You have heard of disloyal Macbeth\nAnd the man he had put to his death.\nTo the victory roast\nCame a banqueter ghost.\nIt was Banquo who'd drawn his last breath.", "id": 9832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I have araneidan fears;\nEven spiderwebs leave me in tears.\nThose eight legged bugs\nMake me long to take drugs\u2014\nOr at least drink a couple of beers.", "id": 9833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abietic's a word that applies\nTo a genus of trees that we prize\nFrom a temperate clime\nBearing cones in their prime.\nWith their height, they're a sight fir soar eyes.", "id": 9834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A curmudgeon has angioplasty,\nAnd finds his angina has passed. He\nIs free of the strain\nOf the cardiac pain\nAnd the pills, but he's still a bit nasty.", "id": 9835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Augusta's a capital place\nWhere the humblest of Mainers embrace\nThe potato and lobster,\nAnd even the snobs stir\n'Em up in a fine bouillabaisse.", "id": 9836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aborticides\u2014where do I start?\nJust their mention drives people apart,\nAs pro-lifers entreat us:\n\"By killing a fetus,\nYou're stopping the beat of a heart.\"", "id": 9837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kim.Holstrom", "limerick": "Can I tell you how much I abhor\nThe sounds that you make when you snore?\nI really do hate them;\nCould you try to abate them?\nYou're shaking the walls and the floor!", "id": 9838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Making sugar from cane leaves a mass\nOf detritus that's known as bagasse.\nWhile this writer's exempt,\nMany others attempt\nTo make puns on such words. How low class!", "id": 9839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What's a battlement? It is a sort\nOf a parapet, built on a fort.\nA battement, by the way,\nIs a move in ballet:\nFoot kicks out, foot comes back.  End report.", "id": 9840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In his long gravitational spree,\nJove has captured much solar debris,\nAnd his tipsy platoons\nOf Ananke group moons\nAll have names that are ending in e.", "id": 9841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "To the limits, life's currents will comb,\nAnd then whithersoever they roam,\nThey'll return as before\nTo the atrium door.\nIt's the center of heart and of home.", "id": 9842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm your restless, co-orbiting star,\nAnd our max separation can't bar\nAn attraction this strong.\nOur apastron's too long,\nBut we soon will be closer by far.", "id": 9843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "At solar eclipses, one needs\nTo take photos at varying speeds.\nFor corona's faint hues,\nLong exposures you'll choose,\nBut far shorter to catch Baily's beads.", "id": 9844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Allow me to say, here and now,\nThat meanings abound for allow:\nTo permit by intent\nOr to fail to prevent;\nTo assign or concede or avow.", "id": 9845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a rank for a person who's male,\nAt an abbey where brothers brew ale.\nAll the monks who have sinned\nAre three sheets to the wind,\nBut this abbotship's not under sail.", "id": 9846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When you're hungry, saliva is sped\nDown some ducts to your mouth, where you're fed.\nAptyalic blockade\nStarts a painful cascade:\nYou de-duct you have rocks in your head.", "id": 9847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Baby's breath lends a certain cachet\nTo a garland or bridal bouquet.\nTiny flowers so white\nFrame this delicate sight,\nMeaning love everlasting, they say.", "id": 9848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cat", "limerick": "If you've just fallen out with your friends\nAnd you feel that you must make amends,\nSay \"I'm sorry\" to start \u2014\nSay it right from the heart \u2014\nThen see how hostility ends!", "id": 9849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If you're pricked while you're smelling a rose\n(Which is guarded by thorns as it grows),\nAn accipiter patches\nYour thorn-induced scratches:\nIt's a bandage that goes round your nose.", "id": 9850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "As Horatio Hornblower knelt,\nA tap on the shoulder he felt.\nThe accolade showed him\nHow much England owed him\nBecause of the blows he had dealt.", "id": 9851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The author, in stardom delighting,\nHer autonym placed on her writing.\nThis use of her name\nLet her revel in fame\nAnd was pleasant to use in self-citing.", "id": 9852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The peers, with their badinage airy,\nProvoked and enraged the Queen Fairy.\nThey found that their banter\nJust didn't enchant her,\nAnd her curse taught them manners more wary.", "id": 9853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "My friend had a phobia fearful\nNamed anupta-. She called me, all tearful,\n\"I'll never be wed!\"\nThen she met her beau Fred,\nAnd I now get a much diff'rent earful.", "id": 9854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Although notables sing a cappella,\nLike the vocalists Ella and Della,\nEven voices that good,\nUnaccompanied, would\nBe like pizza without mozzarella.", "id": 9855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The crabgrass is starting to creep\nAnd the alfilaria is deep,\nCausing terrible woe\nTo my garden, and so\nI've decided to weed 'em and reap.", "id": 9856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anthropogeography tries\nTo explain how man's movement complies\nWith political forces\nAnd nature's resources\nBy offering wherefores and whys.", "id": 9857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Maid of Orleans loses clashes\nWith clerics. A flambeau then flashes,\nIgniting a fire.\nIt's her funeral pyre,\nAnd a saint goes from ashes to ashes.", "id": 9858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What a barium swallow is not:\nA bird (though I've heard that a lot).\nIt's a drink that you take,\nMaking masses opaque\nTo an X-ray\u2014to learn what you've got.", "id": 9859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the shore of the Caspian Sea\nSits a city that's known as Baki.\nOn the cape Apsheron\n(Part of Azerbaijan)\nIs this capital, old as can be.", "id": 9860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "It's a party for parvenus who\nView an ingenue's special debut.\nCatered food by Pierre\nMakes a \"classy\" affair,\nAvec caviar, wine, and fondue.", "id": 9861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For atmosphere (great on a date!)\nHave some candles and wine by her plate.\nBut be wise and beware:\nThose who show too much flair\nAre infrequently known to be straight.", "id": 9862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Oh, Captain, it's fearful, this trip!\nOh, my Captain, how bad was our slip?\"\n\"Just a little while back,\nRan aground near Iraq;\nNow this weather may founder the ship.\"", "id": 9863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "\"An air mattress, surely,\" said Kate,\n\"Is a must when you're out on a date.\nBut it takes lots of huffing\nAnd plenty of puffing\nTo make it completely inflate.\"", "id": 9864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Our air's an invisible mix\nOf some gasses we breathe at least six\n(More like twelve!) times a minute.\nThere's oxygen in it,\nWithout which we'd be in a fix!", "id": 9865, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "\"An acromphalus, ma'am, I can see\nIs your problem,\" the doc said to me.\nSeems my navel projects\nAnd no longer collects\nAny lint, but my rings have a tree!", "id": 9866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Some Finns and Norwegians and Swedes\nFound Astoria suited their needs.\nIt was lush, green, and hilly\n(Though rainy and chilly)\nAnd they prospered and flourished like weeds.", "id": 9867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My T-shirts and blue jeans get thrown\nIn the dryer, where hot air is blown.\nBut my sweaters are laid out\nWith sleeves fluffed and splayed out\nTo air-dry at room temp alone.", "id": 9868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A blessing is something worthwhile,\nLike a figure that's always in style.\nBut a bane is a curse\n(Like a spouse who's perverse)\nAnd evokes the reverse of a smile.", "id": 9869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Rows of typewriter keys, or a set\nOf terminals placed so you'll get\nA full view of the screens\nAll at once\u2014all this means\nThat you're looking at banks, you can bet!", "id": 9870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Want trouble?  Just let it run wild.\nWant pleasure?  Just wait till you've smiled\nAt the cute thing it did\nAnd then ran off and hid;\nThe \"it\" is a bantling, your child.", "id": 9871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "To abort means cut short, which is why\nFor a fetus or plan, it means die.\n But if that's what you see\n As you curse your PC,\nIt most likely precedes \"Fail, Retry?\"", "id": 9872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Some think verse rules are strict, but I bend 'em.\nI love limericks odd, and defend 'em.\n Sure, in general you'll find\n That these rhymes are five-lined,\nBut in this case I'll add an addendum.\n\n(They help supplement things, and can mend 'em.)", "id": 9873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "In Benin, it's the name of a clan;\nAja's also a tongue of Sudan,\n And a Yoruba spirit,\n And if you can hear it,\nAn album from old Steely Dan.", "id": 9874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sad sack gets elephantiasis,\nAcariasis, and amebiasis.\nOn his scrotum are mites\nCausing itching from bites.\nEven worse, he's a site for psoriasis.", "id": 9875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Abalone's a snail of the sea,\nWith a foot that's as strong as can be.\nIf that foot became huge,\nCould it stomp Baton Rouge?\nThat's a loada balone to me.", "id": 9876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Autoclavable instruments must\nBe resistant to warping and rust.\nStainless steel is the best\nAnd has passed every test,\nBut those new plastic knives are a bust.", "id": 9877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Judiciously used amput*\nCan shorten a limerick's dur*.\nThus frustr* recedes\nWith slow Internet feeds,\nAnd el* sweeps over the n*!", "id": 9878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The airliner fills me with awe;\nNothing's changed since the first one I saw.\nDown the runway it roars,\nLeaves the ground, and then soars,\nThus inducing a drop in my jaw.", "id": 9879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "If only I had a bialy\nFrom Bialystok, that would be jolly.\nIt's chewy and round\nAnd onions abound.\nWith cream cheese I'd eat it, by golly.", "id": 9880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Offer words for the soul that's asleep.\nMake them adulatory and deep.\nSing its praises on high.\nHear the congregants cry.\nThus for eulogies, read 'em and weep.", "id": 9881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alassio sits on the sea,\nAn Italian resort that to me\nIs the place for romance\nAnd an evening of dance,\nEven topping the Isle of Capri.", "id": 9882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's conversant with fuselage dings,\nInclinometers, fan-jets, and wings.\nHe's an aeromechanic\n(Not given to panic)\u2014\nA plainspoken fixer of things.", "id": 9883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a fossil\u2014the aegyptopithecus.\nThough this primate (pre-Paleolithic) is\nQuite clearly extinct,\nOnce he puckered and winked\nAt his pals before planting a mythic kiss.", "id": 9884, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "That doctor put drops in my eyes,\nMade my pupils both double in size.\nSee, atropine's made\nFrom the deadly nightshade...\nBut I hope it won't cause my demise.", "id": 9885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Do you celebrate holidays? Fewish.\nDo you never say prayers? Yes, that's trueish.\nAn acediast, I\nJust explain with a sigh,\n\"See, I don't need to practice\u2014I'm Jewish.\"", "id": 9886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "\"I demand that you stand and deliver!\"\nSaid the highwayman down by the river.\nBut he just didn't count\nOn his tremulous mount\nKnocking all of his arrows aquiver.", "id": 9887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Ball bearings are not too profound:\nThey're just balls in a ring racing round,\nHelping shafts in their movement\u2014\nThat's quite an improvement\nOn the ball baring you've done, you hound!", "id": 9888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "To twist up long hair like a star,\nOne could use a barrette and go far.\nBut that cute little clip\nSimply can't get a grip\u2014\nSo in your case, let's use the whole bar.", "id": 9889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "This profession, a bit of a fad,\nUses smells to heal sickness and SAD,\nWhich is great, as it goes,\nBut my eyes, not my nose,\nRead \"aroma-the-rapist\"...that's bad!", "id": 9890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He raised the baton toward his face\nAs he walked to his drum major's place\nAt the head of the line,\nAnd he liked it just fine,\nAs his long-legged stride set the pace.", "id": 9891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "An Arabic farmland awaits\nIn the smallest of UAE states.\nIt's Ajman on the coast\nOf the Persian Gulf. Most\nOf its exports are gas, fish and dates.", "id": 9893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "She cuffed him, then gave a sly wink,\nAnd the acts that ensued made him think\nThat the line in her brain\nBetween pleasure and pain\nMust be drawn in invisible ink.", "id": 9894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Algolagnia is to Rhiannon\nAs gunpowder is to the cannon.\nThe mind of this miss\nGoes kablooey with bliss\nAs perverse painful pleasures she's plannin'.", "id": 9895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There once was a skilled ambidexter,\nWith little that ever perplexed her.\nWith two phones she was deft,\nTexting friends, right and left,\nBut to do so while driving still vexed her.", "id": 9896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Allotetraploid hybrids will get\nDiploid chromosomes, one complete set\nFrom each parent. They're named\nAmphidiploids and claimed\nTo be all-o-pol... (damn, I forget!)", "id": 9897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Bremer", "limerick": "A hyphen with hair? That's so brash!\nShe thought I was acting quite rash.\nShe said she preferred\n(Though I thought it absurd)\nParting words with a plain balder dash.", "id": 9898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Bremer", "limerick": "I'm achier now that I'm done,\nWith a 26.2 mile run.\nA marathon's price:\nLots of aspirin and ice.\nAnd a wish that I had not begun.", "id": 9899, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In a recent statistical study\nOf approaches to use if you're muddy,\nThe balneal path\n(That is, taking a bath)\nProved effective for use with the cruddy.", "id": 9900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "Avalokitesvara can\nAs Kannon be hailed in Japan;\nIn China, Guanyin,\nAnd in both he has been\nReworked on a feminine plan.", "id": 9901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "We're apprising you: please be aware\nThat your stock has lost twenty a share,\nThere's a berg 'neath your boat\nSo she can't stay afloat,\nAnd you'll never recoup your full fare.", "id": 9902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An ambitious young robber named Lou\nStole a Concorde, but hadn't a clue,\nSo he went superfrantic\nAbove the Atlantic\nAnd pierced the cruel sea at Mach 2.", "id": 9903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "In Pittsburgh, where Noll was so brainy,\nThere's a river that's named Allegheny\nWhich joins the Monon-\ngahela to spawn\nThe Ohio, which floods when it's rainy.", "id": 9904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Great Ali ibn Abi Talib\nWas Islamic, a caliph, no dweeb.\nHe married the daughter\nOf the Prophet, then slaughter\nEngulfed him in Kufa, Najib.", "id": 9905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Each weekend I'd sweat and I'd drudge;\nI built a great trellis, I judge.\nBut my wife hated grapes,\nSo we got into scrapes\u2014\nShe whined that I'd 'arbored a grudge.", "id": 9906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Orestes should fear this epiphany:\nAlecto, Magaera, Tisiphone!\nBeware the Eumenides\nWhen singing their threnodies;\nYou'll go mad when you hear their polyphony.", "id": 9907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "It was windy on Sunday in Gloucester;\nIt blew from the south (thus, an Auster).\nThen a doofus named Claude\nClaimed, \"I'm Notus, a god!\"\nBut the blowhard was just an imposter.", "id": 9908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "At Oxford lives Oliver Attles.\n\"Here I pay room and board,\" the boy prattles.\nBut the lad got the chills\nWhen he grabbed the wrong bills.\nBe careful when choosing your battels.", "id": 9909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "As a surgeon, your chosen vocation\nMeans scalpel, incision, ligation.\nWith each aciurgy,\nConsult with the clergy,\nAnd pray for your patient's salvation.", "id": 9910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "As we walked on the shoreline of Fundy,\nShe asked me: \"Where were you last Monday?\"\n\"Don't you trust me, my dear?\nI was standing right here.\"\nBut she wanted some proof aliunde.", "id": 9911, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A cliff formed the walls of the keep\nAt the battle of Tolkien's Helms Deep.\nArcifinious walls\nKept the orcs from the halls\u2014\nThough the ents and the trees helped a heap.", "id": 9912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "When they raided Aunt Charlotte's bordello,\nI was found in a hot tub of Jell-O,\nWith Charlotte, a goat,\nAnd two dwarfs in a boat.\n(We were acting out Shakespeare's Othello.)", "id": 9913, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your austereness is somber and spare;\nYour appearance, excessively bare.\nMy concern and my fear:\nYou're so stern and severe,\nIf you smile, you may splinter\u2014beware!", "id": 9914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "By avuncular, folks mean to call\nSomeone uncle-like. That isn't all:\nIt is further defined\nAs indulgent or kind.\n(They forgot to inform Uncle Paul.)", "id": 9915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "\"If it's purified well,\" claims my daughter,\n\"Any agro-industrial water\nFrom a fact'ry or farm\nWill do nobody harm.\"\nLeastways, that's what Monsanto has taught her.", "id": 9916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "No more universe meaning than this:\nIncandescent so green reminisce;\nConsequential, et al.,\nHumpty Dumpty next fall.\n(Manifesto, absurdist, amiss.)", "id": 9917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The limerick's less than sublime?\nYour mind is confined by the rhyme?\nThen compose in your head\nBallad stanzas instead,\nFor they'll give you an easier time.", "id": 9918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Aerodontics is useful to those\nWho are often aloft, I suppose\u2014\nBut I'd rather be found\nStanding safe on the ground:\nFalling could cause a toothache.  Who knows?", "id": 9919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "On that tower, the rabbity head\nOf a spectre has filled me with dread.\nHer heartbroken wail\n(If you credit the tale)\nMeans the banshee knows someone is dead.", "id": 9920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and sigg", "limerick": "Sister Jane, on her visit to Joppa,\nKissed a king, for her vows couldn't stop her.\nThe arresting Farouk\nLooked so grand in that souk...\nBut the rest of our story's improper.", "id": 9921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Pour a pint of dark rum from Jamaica\nOn three cups of halved bay leaves, then take a\nClean quart jar, pack scant.\nWait a month, then decant.\nThis is bay rum: what's more, it won't break ya.", "id": 9922, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "The word am is a form of \"to be\"\nFocused first-person-singularly,\nWhich is probably why\nIt's so popular. I\nThink it's peachy. It's all about me!", "id": 9923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I want more of this shrub, it enchants;\nI'll air layer this one of my aunt's.\nA propagation technique,\nIt tempts gardeners to peek\nAs the new roots start making more plants.", "id": 9924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In court.  Have your day.  Your tale \u2014 tell it.\nNo luck.  Your suit's tossed.  Couldn't sell it.\nAttorney: \"Unreal.\nNo big deal.  We'll appeal.\"\nAnd in court.  Have your day.  Judge Appellate.", "id": 9925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Baltimore oriole, which is\nA bird, nests up high in tree niches.\nAn Oriole, too,\nIs a ball player who\nDevours most AL East pitches.", "id": 9926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "To find that your house is awash is\nA problem of splashes and sploshes.\nThe floor's under water.\nI think that you oughta\nGet going and find your galoshes.", "id": 9927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Pharmaceutical salesmen like Eric\nTend to denigrate any generic:\n\"They're not poison, exactly....\"\nThen matter-of-factly\nHe quips, \"Add an alexiteric.\"", "id": 9928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A landing strip, three thousand feet,\nIs more grand than your average street.\nWith a building or three,\nIt's an airport, you see.\nGet on board! Stow your bag! Take a seat!", "id": 9929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "That bellboy gets no tip! It's true!\nWhen I said, \"Get the suitcases, you!\nIn the trunk!\" he went \"Ping!\"\nAnd \"A-ring-a-ling-ching!\"\nHow that ding-dong got work, I've no clue.", "id": 9930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "What's a bar graph (or bar chart)? A way\nTo put figures and facts on display:\nAn assortment of bars\nShowing profits on cars\nOr the number of layoffs per day.", "id": 9931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The Near East offers dining quite quaint,\nBut your waiter could voice a complaint\nIf you make a big slip\u2014\nLeave no baksheesh (a tip)\u2014\nIt's no place to show fiscal restraint!", "id": 9932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "In sounding the depths of the sea,\nOne charts bathymetrically,\nUsing meters or fathoms\nTo measure the chasms\nWhere tentacled monsters there be.", "id": 9933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "The Committee chair's casual quip\nSo enraged the minority whip\nThat the Speaker was heard\nTo complain, \"With one word\nHe has sunk my bipartisanship.\"", "id": 9934, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Adorable?  Maybe you are,\nBut you're also too cutesy by far.\nIt's a saccharine show;\nBetter pack it and go,\n'Cause I'm getting the feathers and tar.", "id": 9935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Although it lacks taste, pay attention\nTo animal starch: it's worth mention.\nWe find it in meat;\nIt's not bitter or sweet,\nBut it's great for caloric retention.", "id": 9936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Your position is firm, like a rock.\nYou won't budge, though we talk and we talk.\nYou are steadfast, it's true,\nBut I'm adamant too:\nI'm not driving us either.  We'll walk.", "id": 9937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Autocephalous means you possess\nYour own head\u2014thus avoiding distress,\nFor the bother and pain\nOf outsourcing your brain\nFar outweigh any gain, I would guess.", "id": 9938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An army ant causes few fears\nWhen all by herself she appears,\nBut when tons of 'em pass\nIn a legion, en masse,\nThe phenomenon rightfully skeers.", "id": 9939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How much bang did you get for your buck?\nSeems your currency swap was in luck!\nI got bucks for my bang,\nSo my register rang\nWith exchange rates that totally suck!", "id": 9940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "\"I've a word for you, one that I think\nTeems with meaning,\" I said to my shrink.\n\"It's a word I will cop\nFrom Victorian pop\nMusic: Basingstoke,\" said with a wink.", "id": 9941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though it's plain you've no vestige of sight,\nIt would seem that your eyes are all right,\nSo be of good cheer.\nDiagnosis is clear:\nAmaurosis.  We've now seen the light.", "id": 9943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A smasher, by crashing, would mash 'er;\nA slasher, by gashing, would trash 'er;\nA dasher would pash 'er;\nA flasher'd abash 'er;\nBut bashers, by fashion, would thrash 'er.", "id": 9944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "That man called us andromonoecious!\nI assume he was being facetious.\nHow dare he define us\nWith both monoclinous\nAnd staminate blossoms\u2014how specious!", "id": 9945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm afraid that I have to insist\nThat a pill that's the size of your fist\n(Which is known as a ball)\nWill not likely enthral\nMy coyote\u2014he'll mangle your wrist!", "id": 9946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the '70s, I can recall\nHow America started out small.\nThen \"A Horse with No Name\"\nShot this pop group to fame,\nThough the lyrics made no sense at all.", "id": 9947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Were you born in the fifties? That time\nSaw the birth rate dramatically climb;\nSo you know it's no rumor\u2014\nYou're one baby boomer\nOf millions approaching their prime.", "id": 9948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Long and narrow, each kind of baguette;\nSmooth and hard both their surfaces; yet\nWhile the gem's carved precisely,\nThe French bread goes nicely\nWith tea when the table is set.", "id": 9949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "See those girls pirouette and pli\u00e9.\n\"Why, they must be from Europe!\" you say.\nBut you're wrong: thank the Dean,\nMister George Balanchine;\nHe's the father of U.S. ballet.", "id": 9950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "In the Sixties the clothes were ablaze.\nLots of color\u2014batik was a craze.\nWhether cotton or wool,\nThe palette was full.\nWax and dye with an iron amaze!", "id": 9951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "It's amazing that nobody cared \u2014\nShe walked 'round with her chest fully bared.\nBut in camp with the nude,\nClothes would be rather rude;\nShe disrobed at the gate as declared.", "id": 9952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What a pitiful fool you must be\nTo presume you're the better of me!\nMy delusions of grandeur\nOutrank in command your\nDelusions of adequacy.", "id": 9953, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a man from Milwaukee\nWhose bowels were painful and balky,\nSo a barium study\nWas ordered.  \"That cruddy\nWhite stuff,\" he said, \"tastes really chalky!\"", "id": 9954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Batterie has two meanings in dance.\nIn ballet, when you leap to advance,\nIt means clap calves and feet,\nWhile in tap it's the beat\nOf a guy who's got ants in his pants.", "id": 9955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "When the feedback's aversive, it's meant\nAs a punishment. There's no descent\n  Into rancor or bile....\n  Oh, you like it?  You smile?\nThat was certainly not my intent.", "id": 9956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The ultimate garbage compactor\nIs a proton-electron reactor:\nOn a baryon star,\nThe full mass of a car\nIs the size of a campylobacter.", "id": 9957, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In my dream, there I stood by a river\nIn a sweat, with my hands all aquiver;\nThe river was liquor,\nThe bankside was slicker\nThan grease \u2014 and I've got a bad liver.", "id": 9958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's an interesting word that has stuck,\nMeaning \"frenzied\"\u2014the English amok,\nWhich implies lethal force.\nThey say Malay's its source\u2014\nLike those melees we see with a puck?", "id": 9959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Annulation, I'm sure you'll agree,\nWill add rings to a worm or a tree.\nThen every such ring,\nAs a circular thing,\nIts own annulation will be.", "id": 9960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aberdeenshire's a county where Scots\nLike to fish and raise cattle and tots.\nTo the south is Dundee,\nOn the east the North Sea.\n(And that's all that this limerick allots.)", "id": 9961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's been working that orchard, they say,\nForty years\u2014never sick, by the way\u2014\nAlways up to the task.\nWhat's his secret, you ask?\nThe proverbial apple a day.", "id": 9962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Come to Alton, a place you'll enjoy\nNear St. Louis, in south Illinois.\nIt's a typical burb,\nNeither bad nor superb,\nIf you're raising a girl or a boy.", "id": 9963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm the Prez and, to no one's surprise,\nI'm inclined to deceive and disguise.\nMy political mask\nIs in place: If you ask\nMe no questions, I'll tell you no lies.", "id": 9964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He is present in body, but still\nAppears absent in mind up until\nThe attorneys appear,\nWhen he pricks up an ear\nJust to hear what it says in the will.", "id": 9965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Antietam, a Maryland creek,\nRaged a battle both bloody and bleak\nBetween Lee and McClellan,\nBecoming a hell in\nWhich thousands would die in a week.", "id": 9966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "A Greek shield, these days, seems egregious,\nBut not so the word for it:  aegis.\nMetaphoric connection\nSuggests the protection\nOf someone or something prestigious.", "id": 9967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "The dictator told his confessor,\n\"It's great fun to play the aggressor!\nI bully, I ravage,\nMy conquests are savage.\nNow shrive me!\"  The priest stammered, \"Yessir!\"", "id": 9968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "Said the judge, \"It is time to addoom\nThis dispute.  So, since neither the groom\nNor the bride will back down,\nWhy not both wear a gown?\nLet dressmaking efforts resume!\"", "id": 9969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "All this stuff is the weirdest by far:\nYou can haggle for haggis or gar,\nBuy a rug for a lark,\nOr a two-headed shark,\nSince this open-air market's bizarre.", "id": 9970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since bassi's the plural of basso,\nAre there lassi (that's more than one lasso)?\nAnd if Pablo has brothers\nAnd sisters, and others,\nAre Picassi the kin of Picasso?", "id": 9971, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The bar that the barline marks out\nIs a musical measure, you lout!\nIt will keep notes together\nLike birds of a feather\u2014\nIt isn't a place to buy stout!", "id": 9972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bananas are Musas to me.\nTheir species? A thousand and three;\nThey mutate with ease.\nTheir leaves sway in the breeze;\nThey're herbaceous\u2014don't call one a tree.", "id": 9973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In Brazil a strange tree you'll see grow\u2014\nAraroba's its name, and laid low\nIn its bole's yellow wood\nIs a powder that's good\nTo treat ailments of skin\u2014now you know!", "id": 9974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "When over to England you travel,\nI hope all your plans don't unravel.\nIf you stay in a house\nThat is bawdy (you louse),\nYou may end 'fore a judge and his gavel!", "id": 9975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "A blue and white flower, ornate,\nTakes the name baby blue-eyes\u2014but wait!\nDon't be fooled and confuse\nThese unsung baby blues\nWith Sinatra. That's Old Blue Eyes (late).", "id": 9976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The views in his book are jejune.\nCall them arid;  he's just a buffoon.\nThere's aridity\u2014yes,\nHis book's sere to excess\u2014\nLike a desert before a monsoon.", "id": 9977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Abetment is aiding in crime\u2014\nAnd a way I could make a spare dime.\nBut, no, that's just awful!\nBesides, it's unlawful:\nI'd hate to be stuck doing time.", "id": 9978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Baboonish means \"brutish,\" it's clear,\nLike a savage. Or maybe, I fear,\nYou're a hideous guy, mate,\nWho looks like a primate\nWith fur and a bright-colored rear.", "id": 9979, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Additional items are spare,\nInessential, and rarely are rare.\nThere is plenty enough\nOf this leftover stuff.\nI'd write more, but I simply don't care.", "id": 9980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I have an old bath mat, a blue one,\nSo threadbare it's barely a true one.\nIt won't soak up water;\nReplace it, I oughter,\nBut I'm too cheap to buy me a new one.", "id": 9981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Nutty-tasting liqueur amaretto,\nTaken neat, goes right down allegretto;\nAdding OJ, you call\nIt instead \"Boccie Ball\":\nIt's so smooth that it's likely drunk stretto.", "id": 9982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "Ask an aphorist, he will attest:\nFor quotations, old Bartlett's is best.\nThere I found, and I quote,\nWhat a playwright once wrote:\n\"Lord, what fools...\" (I've forgotten the rest.)", "id": 9983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "My ma-in-law's lemon meringue\nHad a nasty aluminous tang.\nShe had gotten mixed up\nAnd she'd used half a cup:\nBaking soda, not cornflour\u2014dang!", "id": 9984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When people are absent, they're missing\u2014\nLike the women I wish I were kissing.\nLacking money and charm,\nI've no gal on my arm\nAnd have taken to moaning and pissing.", "id": 9985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When she first heard the tale (she was young)\nOf how princes from prison are sprung\nBy amphibian kissing,\nThe point she was missing?\nThey're frogs, so don't slip 'em the tongue!", "id": 9986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If investing, you should know about\nYour abandonment option, no doubt.\nIf your plans go astray,\nThis allows you to say:\n\"I don't care what I signed\u2014I want out!\"", "id": 9987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anglo-Normans took time to affix\nTheir stamp on the British Isles mix\nIn ways big and small\n(In our speech most of all),\nSince their conquest in 1066.", "id": 9988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She professes: \"The thin and the stout of it,\nIt's baby fat; I have no doubt of it.\"\nI replied, \"Sakes alive,\nYou just turned 45!\nWhen the hell are you gonna grow out of it?\"", "id": 9989, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mr. Anderson took no malarky,\nAnd often was snappish and snarky,\nBut with baseball his gig,\nIn both leagues he won big.\nNot too bad for a grown man named Sparky!", "id": 9990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In a bar fight, this lowlife named Greg\nPunched a nun and then fractured her leg.\nWith \"You needed that whipping,\"\nHe left without tipping.\nThat bastard was one real bad egg!", "id": 9991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Watching tennis can keep a fan busy:\n\"That player's not serving well, is he?\"\nBut I have to be cautious\nOr else I'll turn nauseous;\nThat back-and-forth play makes me dizzy!", "id": 9992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ammotherapy's not what you think.\nIf you feel below par, out of synch,\nThis is medically planned\nApplications of sand,\nAnd not bullets in need of a shrink.", "id": 9993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Her battiness!\"  Danny said, \"That's\nThe sole source of our numerous spats.\nI don't mean to say Jane\nIs unhinged or insane.\nIt's her house\u2014it's infested with bats!", "id": 9994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Waging war against Satan aggressively,\nThere is no way to do it excessively.\nThe effort that's spent\nCan't be 50 percent.\nYou will not beat him manic-depressively.", "id": 9995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My doctor treats boils unmethodically.\nIn fact, he prescribes (idiotically)\nThe wildest array\nOf strange cures, so I say,\n\"Why not deal with them antibiotically?\"", "id": 9996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My father, when words became heated,\nDid not care to ever be treated\nTo back talk or sass.\nI once said, \"Dad, you ass!\"\n(...It's an error I never repeated.)", "id": 9997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Their annulment\u2014my folks' abrogation\nOf their vows\u2014brings a change in my station,\nSince I and my siblings\n(From a few legal scribblings)\nAre facing now bastardization.", "id": 9998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Lord is my shepherd, you know.\nIn righteousness always I'll go.\nI'm in the high clover,\nMy cup runneth over.\n(My Father upstairs says \"Hello!\")", "id": 9999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ballistophobic?  I am, quite a lot.\nUnafraid of all guns?  I am not.\nLike most other folks, I\nAm reluctant to die,\nBut I really don't want to get shot!", "id": 10000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Who cares if it's quarter to three\nIn the morning.  Ahypnia?  Me?\nSleepless nights now and then\nAre compulsory when\nYou become the OEDILF EiC.", "id": 10001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Well, your candidate didn't get picked\nAnd beforehand not one could predict\nJust how bad the defeat\u2014\nOh, good Lord, he got beat!\nIt's an avalanche!  Asses were kicked!", "id": 10002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"The apple of Peru?  Well, you can't\nReally eat it, to start,\" said my aunt.\n\"Far less tasty than grits,\"\nShe explained to me, \"it's\nAn ornamental Peruvian plant.\"", "id": 10003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"You've got to be kidding,\" I said.\n\"Will I move to Bayonne? When I'm dead!\nI don't care Sandra Dee\nCame from there; don't you see?\nShe got out\u2014I'll stay put here instead.\"", "id": 10005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If I were a young single lad,\nOut to furnish a bachelor pad,\nI'd get cable TV,\nA big couch just for me,\nAnd a bed where I'd act like a cad.", "id": 10006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When you've spent all night acting the lush,\nAnd you dress, half asleep, in a rush,\nGive the barnet a comb\nBefore you leave home\nOr your head will resemble a brush.", "id": 10007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A nude diver had tried to impress\nWith fine dives (and fine torso, I guess),\nBut male judges enquired\nWhen she came back attired,\n\"Who on Earth do you think made her dress?\"", "id": 10008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "A sprinter from college named Pegg,\nWho is always the anchor (the leg\nThat's the relay's last lap),\nIs a sporty young chap,\nAnd for dates with him cheerleaders beg.", "id": 10009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "If Hamlet went out with no shirt\nAnd suffered a sunburn that hurt,\nWould he soak in the tub,\nAnd cry, \"Ay, where's the rub?\nPrithee, fetch me some aloe cream, Gert\"?", "id": 10011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As the baggage spins 'round, I can't tell:\nHave I come to the wrong carousel?\nI inspect all the tags,\nBut I can't find my bags:\nMine were lost by the airline from hell.", "id": 10012, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "All my words tumble out in a rush\nAnd I feel myself starting to blush.\nI've gone red as a beet,\nFor whenever I meet\nSomeone pretty my brain turns to mush.", "id": 10013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You can bind up a man with a chain,\nOr a rope against which he may strain.\nBut there is no escape\nIf he's bound in red-tape.\nAll his efforts are bound to be vain.", "id": 10014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bin yo gooin' or bin yo bay, ay?\nWell, come on nar, ar kid, wot yo say?\nAy, yo might be arf jed,\nBut ge'r'aht uh yower bed.\nGet yower coot on, we air go'r'all day!", "id": 10015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There are some things no sane man would eat,\nSuch as tripe, jellied eels and pigs' feet,\nBut the worst, I conclude,\nIs black pudding \u2014 a food\nMade from pigs' fat and blood. What a treat!", "id": 10016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "When a text contains lines thought injurious,\nThey will often make scholars feel furious.\nBut there's no need to fret;\nOne can athetize: set\nAll those bad parts aside, marked as spurious.", "id": 10017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nyhteg", "limerick": "A rabbit has diets we lack;\nThey consume what they pass out the back.\nTherein lies the magic,\nAutocoprophagic \u2014\nThey'll never be stuck for a snack.", "id": 10018, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A back for the Packers or Cards\nLooks for cracks and then racks up the yards.\nAs his label conveys,\nHe begins all the plays\nFrom in back of the tackles and guards.", "id": 10019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The more of my money I bet,\nThe more in return I shall net!\nBut, of course, should I lose,\nI'll be singing the blues\nAs each bet, I regret, becomes debt.", "id": 10020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "When a wren or a lark looks for lunch,\nThey'll eat birdseed, a bit or a bunch,\n'Cause this medley of seed\nIs their favorite feed.\nBut it wouldn't suit me, I've a hunch.", "id": 10021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Conservative Party are hoary\u2014\nSomewhat stodgy, but more to their glory.\nWhile they may be old hat,\nI applaud them for that;\nYou might say I'm appreciatory.", "id": 10022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In Pacific locales and in Asia\n(Mostly tropical parts like Malaysia),\nAdenanthera trees\nCatch the warm summer breeze;\nThe red sandalwood's height will amaze ya.", "id": 10023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When I offer a lady addresses,\nThe expression most often impresses.\nBut then when I mention\nThe word means \"attention\"\n(Not houses), it sorely distresses!", "id": 10024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The conductor jumped up and yelled \"Ach!\nVee are not playing bluegrass or rock!\nIt's a Brandenburg-bleeding-\nConcerto I'm leading,\nBy Johann Sebastian Bach!\"", "id": 10025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "It's a Greek word\u2014this isn't Ebonics\u2014\nThe genus is called Acinonyx.\nThose cheetahs are rare\nIn the wild, but I swear\nThat their speeds can approach supersonics.", "id": 10026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "He likes to pretend he's a Roman,\nSo he wishes us luck \"absit omen.\"\nWe may also endure a\nSincere \"kinahura,\"\nHe being a bit of a showman.", "id": 10027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Acrocyanosis is when\nI'm exposed to cold weather, and then\nToes and fingers turn blue\nAnd start tingling too...\nOh my God! Now it's happened again!", "id": 10028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When speaking of horrors and sadness\nAnd sights that would drive you to madness,\nRemember their master,\nThe Old One called Hastur\u2014\nBehind you: the essence of badness.", "id": 10029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "'Round the back of the pub lurked Big Lars,\nRolling drunks and then stealing their cars,\n'Til at last he was caught.\n(Didn't change things a lot;\nLast I heard, he was still behind bars.)", "id": 10030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We dive deeper, new marvels to seek,\n'Til our bathyscaph's hull starts to creak.\nWe've seen wonders down here\nIn the sea, but I fear\nWe are doomed\u2014for we've just sprung a leak.", "id": 10031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Dear, your dinner's right there on the table.\nHold your knife so it's steady and stable;\nThough I've cooked it enough,\nBeefwood pot-roast is tough.\nStill, I've carved it as well as I'm able.", "id": 10032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "A detractor's base sneer you'd erase,\nAnd you long to make clear his disgrace?\nIf your tongue won't express\nYour disdain and distress,\nTurn your back with a sharp about-face.", "id": 10033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though as \"cultural lore\" you defend\nThe sound that you make, it must end.\nIt's a quarter to four!\nIf you pick any more\nThen I'll banjax your banjo, my friend.", "id": 10034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Do plants kill their peers by intent?\nThat's the thesis I mean to present:\nTo attack, not defend,\nIs the probable end\nTo which toxins (allelo-) are sent.", "id": 10035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The appendix: its purpose?  Unknown,\nBut removal I'd rather postpone.\nThough without it you're fine,\nWhile I can, I'll keep mine\nFor its uselessness hasn't been shown.", "id": 10036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Beet armyworms forage in groups.\nThey will snack on a leaf 'til it droops\nAnd is riddled with holes,\nFor their tactical goal's\nTo ensure that there's none left for soups.", "id": 10037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Ancient Romans preferred accubation:\nThey reclined as they dined, in that nation.\nNow if you do as they\nDid, and feast in this way,\nDrink with care to avoid aspiration.", "id": 10038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "At this sandstone you might not look twice:\nPlain old arkose.  A glance would suffice.\nThough once in our planet\n'Twas taken for granite,\nIf given the chance, it was gneiss.", "id": 10039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An old rubber band will go wacky;\nAll brittle and sticky or tacky.\nBut what will protect\nIt before it gets wrecked?\nAntiozonants do it, by cracky!", "id": 10040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Oxidation, we're told, is a curse\nThat can make health and beauty disperse.\nThough I hate to seem rude,\nAntioxidant food\nHas a flavor that seems even worse.", "id": 10041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An actus (a measure of yore,\nCommon once, though it's not anymore)\nTook the measure of land,\nUndeniably spanned\nStrictly ten dozen feet (or six score).", "id": 10042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Raise a glass to the hardy archaea.\nSome subsist (You ask how? No idea.)\nOn the sulfur that's sent\nThrough a hot deep-sea vent.\nFor myself, I prefer a tortilla.", "id": 10043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "\"Hold yer tongue now,\" the bagpiper spoke,\n\"That's a kilt, not a skirt for a bloke.\nUnderneath it I've sworn\nThere's not anything worn:\nAll's in good working order, no joke.\"", "id": 10044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "It's slander, this talk about freaks;\nI'm no madman.  My lab only seeks\nTo improve upon creatures\nWith... interesting... features.\nWe use biochemical... tweaks.", "id": 10045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When one plant tells the others, \"Get gone!\"\nAnd poisons 'em 'til they've withdrawn\u2014\nLike when walnuts kill taters\nAnd maybe tomaters\u2014\nAllelopathy's what's goin' on.", "id": 10046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Something's wrong in the kitchen, I know,\nFor the progress on dinner is slow.\nIt's just Dinah's old friend,\nSinging songs without end,\nAs she strums on her vintage banjo.", "id": 10047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Whether 'twas beer or 'twas ale,\nThe quality had to prevail.\nThe ale-conner's task\nWas to check every cask\nBefore they could put it on sale.", "id": 10048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "While whistling a whimsical shanty,\nShe cheerfully put in her ante.\n\"No sir, I'm no joker...\nWe're playing strip poker,\nSo why can't I ante my panty?\"", "id": 10049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Pocket aces!  I stifled a shiver.\nFlopped a set; drew a bet from my quiver.\nWhen I pushed 'em all in,\nShe just called with a grin...\nWith my aces, I drowned at the river.", "id": 10050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "The man with the wig boldly paltered\nAnd declared that his hair was unaltered,\nBut the rug slipped to show\nThe bare noggin below,\nAnd with it, the bald-faced lie faltered.", "id": 10051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Avalement's a technique with your knees,\nWhich you flex as you travel on skis.\nIt allows you to go\u2014\nKeeping contact with snow\u2014\nOver bumps with the greatest of ease.", "id": 10052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When I'm speaking of basso-relievo,\nI swear no intent to deceive-o;\nI mean you no grief\nWhen I say bas-relief\nMeans the same thing in French. Please believe-o.", "id": 10053, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To manage to topple a deer\nWhen a westerly wind is severe,\nYou must alter your shooting\nAnd hope, in computing,\nYour aim-off's sufficiently near.", "id": 10054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A barrel in organs spins round\nAnd its pins, with melodious sound,\nStrike the keys; in a gun,\nIt's a tube that's no fun\nTo be facing, when blindered and bound.", "id": 10056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In London, well-known for its fogs,\nAn inventor screwed sprockets and cogs.\nExclaimed Babbage, \"I've done it!\nHere's data\u2014now run it!\nAn engine to calculate logs!\"", "id": 10057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"These badgers,\" my cousin was thinking,\nWhile taking a pee after drinking,\n\"Are sniffing at me\nVery curiously;\nThese badgers must think that I'm stinking!\"", "id": 10058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "At a bar on the Western frontier,\nA young termite had wanted a beer.\n He had been on a search\n For a taste of the birch,\nSo he asked, \"Is the bartender here?\"", "id": 10059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The new girl at the science facility\nHad fomented much amicability.\n All the men acted kind\n In the hopes they could find,\nWith precision refined, her fertility.", "id": 10060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "\"Russian Winter?\" I asked of the oracle,\n\"What is meant by these battles historical?\"\n She of Delphi spoke back,\n \"It means this: Don't attack\nWhen it's cold! This is not allegorical.\"", "id": 10061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Alabaster's a stone I can't master;\nThis new sculpture of mine's a disaster.\n I botched carving the chunk,\n Then gave up and got drunk.\nMy solution: Get both of us plastered.", "id": 10062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I think most people traffic in arms\u2014\nAnd I know that word sets off alarms\u2014\nBut it's really quite charming\nTo profit by arming\nRegimes. I don't ask whom it harms....", "id": 10063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Agalmatolite: soft compact stone,\nAs pagodite it also is known.\nIt is carved by Chinese\nInto figures that please,\nAnd called Bildstein by those in Cologne.", "id": 10064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Queen Vickie, Imperial leader:\nHemophilia spread from that breeder.\nHer genes bore mutations\nFor unplanned donations\nFrom many a blue-blooded bleeder.", "id": 10065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "As the pianist practiced his thirds,\nAll the keys chirped and chattered like birds,\nThus obscuring the creaks\nOf some sneaking-up geeks:\nSeems his actions squeak louder than nerds.", "id": 10066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When worms on your vines get you pissed,\nSpray the critters with ampelite mist.\nPliny touted its worth,\nThis bituminous earth,\nSo blame him if those crawlers persist.", "id": 10067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Last Christmas, my love sent my way\nAlectoris (or Perdix?) at play\nIn a Pyrus communis.\nDo you know what this tune is?\nHere's a hint\u2014I got gifts every day.", "id": 10068, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Walt, talk, or start packing for Asia.\nYou owe millions in tax for Fantasia!\nWould you care to explain?\"\nThis request was in vain\u2014\nWalt was stricken with ataxaphasia.", "id": 10069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The study that's known as archology\nIs not about Noah's mythology,\nBut of government's birth,\nHow it spread 'cross the Earth.\nSo perhaps it's a branch of pathology.", "id": 10070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Atraumatic procedures are used\nTo insure that the patient's not bruised.\nHe has suffered enough,\nSo why put him through stuff\nWhen he's already badly abused?", "id": 10071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Regal baudekin, so I've been told,\nIs a fabric of silk and of gold.\nIts embroidery work\nMakes it great for the kirk,\nOr for covering up when you're cold.", "id": 10072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "If your laundry soap's giving you troubles,\nOr the head on your beer often doubles,\nAgents called antifoaming\nSend your cares all a-roaming,\nAlong with Don Ho's \"Tiny Bubbles\".", "id": 10073, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "On an airship way up in the sky\nWas a man who made passengers cry.\nRotund with a limp\n(Yes, a blimp on a blimp),\nWhen he walked, we'd shake thither and nigh!", "id": 10074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "A bibulous woman was she,\nWho wouldn't stop drinking Chablis.\nWhen she started to spew,\nIt was then that she knew\nThat she should have been totaling tea.", "id": 10075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "We humans are mostly amphivorous\n(The same thing, that is, as omnivorous):\nEating veggies and meat,\nPerhaps fruit for a treat,\nBut no crickets: we're not insectivorous.", "id": 10076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Just by using the tongue in his head,\nSteve had talked young Jos\u00e9 into bed.\nHe met Jill the next day\nFor a roll in the hay.\n\"I'm so glad I'm bilingual,\" he said.", "id": 10077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Sometimes barriers slow down the pace\nThat gets people and things place to place.\nBridges, detours, and tunnels\nAre trafficking funnels\nA transporter's likely to face.", "id": 10078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the Aztecs, the sons of the sun,\nMet Cortez, they were able to stun\nThe Spaniards in battles.\nSpears, sped from atlatls,\nPierced armor\u2014but lost to the gun.", "id": 10079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Alas! I can't tell if my progeny\nWill suffer the stings of misogyny.\n Is that thing girl or guy?\n The name \"Pat\" won't supply\nAny answers\u2014the curse of androgyny.", "id": 10080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Richard begs me, \"Come on, what's your trick\nTo avoid being airsick?\" \"Well, Rick,\n It's a cinch,\" I reply,\n \"Take a train and don't fly;\nIt's less bumpy (though also less quick).\"", "id": 10081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I am stressed, popping pills; on a tear.\nHe approaches and asks, \"Can I  share\nThis nice booth?\" But I yell,\n\"Just back off! Go to hell!\"\nWhich he does, with a judgmental stare.", "id": 10082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I'm the site of Herr Jones's vendetta.\nBy Iskenderun, now I'm known better.\nBiggest town in Hatay\u2014\nCome on down and stop by!\nI'm the city called Alexandretta.", "id": 10083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If your hand shakes while drawing a line,\nAnd you need to start over, that's fine!\nNo frettin', no fumin'...\nTo err? Hey, it's human!\n(To moo, though, is simply bovine.)", "id": 10084, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The obsolete title abada:\nBig game far too large for a larder.\nIt's strange this old name\nHas fallen from fame \u2014\nRhinoceros surely is harder.", "id": 10085, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "A geologist, starved for lovemaking\nTold a colleague, \"Let's set the earth quaking!\"\nHer response was revealed\nIn a word from their field:\n\"Aseismic.\" (She meant \"Nothing shaking.\")", "id": 10086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Auguration's the future's depiction\nBy creating a plausible fiction.\nTo avoid contradiction,\nJust hedge with conviction,\nAnd people will pay for prediction.", "id": 10088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the choir was discordant and bored,\nEvery chord in the score was ignored.\nWith its harmony wrong,\n'Twas a singular song,\nSince they couldn't agree on accord.", "id": 10089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the chick wrote a check for ground chuck,\nSeems her hound was profoundly in luck:\nFound a mound of ground round\nFor two-forty a pound,\nJust marked down to around just a buck.", "id": 10090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An anteater enters a bar.\nFrom his nose to his toes, there's a scar,\nAnd a black tire track\nDown the length of his back.\n\"So a Volkswagen Beetle's a CAR?!\"", "id": 10091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Here's a Japanese soup that looked keen\nIn a cooking\u2014gourmet\u2014magazine.\nBut adzuki (a bean)\nMade the metal turn green\n(I had bought the tureen sight unseen.)", "id": 10092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your tale of apocalypse seems\nStuff of legends or horrible dreams\u2014\nFirst a world-ending fight,\nThen eternally night.\nSuch apocryphal, mythical themes!", "id": 10093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "These angels are fools rushing in\nTo dance on the head of a pin.\nThis celestial crowd\nIs too painfully loud,\nBut might stop if I quit drinking gin.", "id": 10094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You shop at a membership store\nWith astonishing bargains galore.\nBut you can't get just one:\nYou must buy by the ton\nFor your family of three-hundred-four.", "id": 10095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your egret's ungainly and gawky;\nHer aigrette has turned white and chalky.\nYour birdie has died!\n\"Not at all,\" I replied,\n\"She has merely moved on to Milwaukee!\"", "id": 10096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Angiocardiogram? I suppose,\nSince I've seen radiology pros.\nThey're injecting some dye\nIn a vein in my thigh,\nAnd then watching to see where it goes.", "id": 10097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On a pond with a stillness too deep,\nDrops a drop with a last arching leap;\nBriefly ripples with grace;\nDisappears with no trace:\nMortal drop lost eternal in sleep.", "id": 10098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Escargot is a dish to eschew\nWhen you're not in Paree, but Peru.\nAvoid pork in Amman,\nCreamy borscht in Taiwan,\nCalamari in Kalamazoo.", "id": 10099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "There are folks who use words that are rare,\nWhich their readers don't know. Do they care?\nSuch behavior's absurd\u2014\nUsing words no one's heard\u2014\nIt's an alogy. (What's with the glare?)", "id": 10100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I cried on the day that you died,\nAnd I shriveled a little inside.\nThough I'd wanted a puppy,\nThey got me a guppy.\nI found you afloat on your side.", "id": 10101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Archimedes had started to fret:\n\"There's no order to letters as yet.\"\nSo he wagered with Zeno\n(It was kind of like Reno),\nAnd thus made an alphabet bet.", "id": 10102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Could an analyte not be confused\nWith a tool some proctologist used?\nIf the docs don't see clearly,\nTheir patients pay dearly,\nAnd end up too tender and bruised.", "id": 10103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Amigo, you see this barranca?\nIt's like in the film Casablanca\nWhen the Laszlo-caused rift\nLeft the hero (Rick) miffed.\nNow he's drinking \u2014 I'll bet it ain't Sanka.", "id": 10104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Afford: an American car.\nAffair: an old country bazaar.\nAffirm: lawyers' lair.\nAffix: a repair.\nAffliction: what all these puns are.", "id": 10105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A landscaper thought it hilarious,\nPlaying jokes using dirt arenarious.\n\"This is so full of sand\nThat you've ruined my land!\"\nCried a client. \"You cad! You're nefarious!\"", "id": 10106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Something basilar lies at the base\nOf a skull, or a structure, or vase.\nLike the canes of a rose,\nOr your toes, I suppose,\nOr the great Sherlock Holmes on the case.", "id": 10107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Comedian Bob couldn't cope\nAt the rock show; he whined, \"What a dope.\nWhy's that strutting young fool\nGot a hole-making tool?\"\n\"'Cause the dude has a band and awl, Hope.\"", "id": 10108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The affliction anoia's extreme;\nThere's a mind that can't function or scheme.\nOh, the brain is still there,\nBut it works like it's air,\nSo there's nobody home, it would seem.", "id": 10109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A street preacher out in the cold\nWas apocalyptically bold.\nWhen he yelled, \"Understand,\nThe Last Day is at hand,\"\nPeople thought it was cars that he sold.", "id": 10110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My afflictedness causes despair.\nI've a notion to tear out my hair.\nYou don't know how I feel \u2014\nThey just served my last meal,\nAnd the Warden forgot my \u00e9clair.", "id": 10111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A speedy young chauffeur named Kottle\nDrove over a cliff at full throttle\nTo boldly avoid\nA huge asteroid,\nBut that bastard, his boss, blamed the bottle.", "id": 10112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The Eighteenth Amendment's wise ending\nRe-authorized alcohol spending,\nFor a man's dissolution\nMars his own constitution,\nAnd it's that one that needs some amending.", "id": 10113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In a flash, at the drop of a hat,\nWithout further ado, just like that,\nIn the blink of an eye,\nIt's that old custard pie,\nAnd your dignity's gone with a splat!", "id": 10114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Of the high Anglo-Catholic religion\nI have managed to learn just a smidgeon.\nThere's one Essence, you see,\nBut its Persons are three:\nThere's a Father, a Son, and a Pigeon.", "id": 10115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and sigg", "limerick": "Each Friday my grandma plays bingo;\nThe players all have their own lingo.\nGram says, \"Mercy in heaven!\nI need legs eleven\nTo win me that prize pink flamingo!\"", "id": 10116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An applicant fills out a form\nFor a job or a grant. It's the norm.\nAnd this process applies,\nIn a college, to guys\nWho want rooms in the favorite dorm.", "id": 10117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "An abhorrer is someone who loathes,\nLike a youth with a zit on her nose;\nA danseuse with a bunion;\nA tot who tastes onion;\nA teen when his mom buys him clothes.", "id": 10118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "In heaven, ten thousand and one\nYears of antiphon all count as none.\nWe've still as much gruelling\nDull verse-by-verse duelling\nAs when anti-fun had begun.", "id": 10119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "In a difficult exploit to follow,\nAnastasia decided to swallow\nA zeppelin for fun.\nSadly, when she was done\nHer accomplishment made her feel hollow.", "id": 10120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "In the language I use every day\nThe alphabet starts with an a.\nIts graphical token\nAnd sound (when it's spoken)\nAre also called a, so they say.", "id": 10121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "When you hate something more than it warrants,\nAnd the waves of disgust come in torrents,\nYour aversion to try it\nIs way past disquiet:\nThe word that you want is abhorrence.", "id": 10122, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Aholiab's life we'll condense\nTo \"a weaver.\" You're wondering whence\nComes his fame? He's renowned\nAs a man who had found\nHis religious commission in tents.", "id": 10123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Young Sheryl the pert amorosa\n(A lass who for cash won't say, \"No suh\")\nPurred, \"Boy, let's make merry.\nCome, taste this dark sherry,\nAmoroso, at my place \u2014 it's closuh.\"", "id": 10124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An artist who painted too well\nShowed a vivid depiction of Hell.\nThough he drew with panache,\nAll his friends claimed it's Bosch,\nAnd informed him his work wouldn't sell.", "id": 10125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"My bodily fluids are ready,\nAnd I bawdily want you,\" said Freddy.\n\"Your bawdy request\nLeaves me oddly distressed\nIn my body,\" said Greta, unsteady.", "id": 10126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I lofted a soaring balloon;\nIt was caught; I continued my swoon.\nThey say \"Lord love a duck,\"\nBut at naught I am stuck\u2014\nA balloon before mid-afternoon!", "id": 10127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When we barnstorm a town or a farm\nWe don't cause agricultural harm.\nAll the townspeople know\nThat our travelling show\nWill disarm any farming alarm.", "id": 10128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Al swatted a foul to the wall,\nAnd the ball boy recovered the ball.\nWhen he lobbed the ball in,\nIt struck Al on the shin;\nAnd Al fell, with chagrin, in a sprawl.", "id": 10129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Lengthy rides in the car are the worst;\nShoulda used the facilities first.\nMy discomfort is growing;\nI'm fidgety, knowing\nMy bladder is going to burst!", "id": 10130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The blonde thought, \"I'd better pay heed\nTo the tag on this sweater, indeed.\"\nSo she wrapped it in gauze\nBefore washing, because\nShe was worried the colors might bleed.", "id": 10131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An albacore (fish, not a mammal)\nHas a name not derived from the Tamil,\nThe Bantu or Norse;\nIts ostensible source\nIs the Arabic meaning \"young camel.\"", "id": 10132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On the Baskervilles lay a grim curse,\nSo they often had need of a hearse,\nTill the great Sherlock found\nThat the huge, glowing hound\nWas a dog that was painted\u2014no worse.", "id": 10133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "The science of bugs, entomology,\nDoesn't include arachnology;\nThat's the study of spiders\nAnd such, but outsiders\nWill call it all creepy-crawlology.", "id": 10134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "\"Avast with the gigglin', me strumpet!\nI'm boarding ye, like it or lump it!\"\nThe lass couldn't stifle\nHer laugh. \"That's no rifle!\nYour 'blunderbuss', sir, is a trumpet!\"", "id": 10135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I'll make love with a gal, when I can,\nBut I'll also make love with a man!\nMy reaction's contextual;\nYou see, I'm bisexual\u2014\nWhichever way round, I'm a fan.", "id": 10136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I thought that he asked for a waltz.\nSo why was he taking my pulse?\nAs I fell for his charms\nHe just ripped off my arms!\nWhat in fact he had said was \"Avulse?\"", "id": 10137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "You've been seeking both hither and yon\nThe location of Azerbaijan?\nTry the westerly shore\nOf the Caspian. Or\nJust below, in northwestern Iran.", "id": 10138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "Aluminum's silvery gray,\nFoiling many a spill every day.\nBy the Aussies it's said\nAl-yoo-MIN-yum instead.\nAnd that's just about Al I can say.", "id": 10139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "O fair axle-tree, bright points of light,\nDo you watch o'er us through the long night?\nWhen you hide, face away,\nThrough the bright of the day\nDo you still keep our hearts in your sight?", "id": 10140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "With an axle-tree under your cart\nBoth the wheels will revolve when you start.\nBut for cars of today\nThat would not be OK;\nNow each wheel has its own axle part.", "id": 10141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "First the Moon pulls the seas\u2014that's a tide,\nThen this tide meets a river that's wide.\nIf conditions are right,\nThen you'll see a strange sight:\nIt's a bore, and some folks hitch a ride.", "id": 10142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "At the edge of one country you'll see\nA line where the next one should be.\nTo cross at this border\nYou may have to order\nA visa (there might be a fee).", "id": 10143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "We had rested that night by the bank\nOf a river, although it was dank.\nIn the dark came a rattle\nAnd one of our cattle\nWas caught by a monstrous afanc.", "id": 10144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Since Ms Blake with her ache was a flake,\nHer doc's take: \"She's a fake.\" Big mistake!\nJust imagine her joy\nWhen a new baby boy\nCame awake with a shake and a quake.", "id": 10145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I suppose it's obnoxious to boast,\nBut I'm super at cooking a roast!\nI'm the best, I'm no liar...\nHelp me put out the fire!\nDid I mention? I'm quite good at toast!", "id": 10146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey and Qermaq", "limerick": "When a botanist looks at a mold\nAnd sees discus-like cups in the fold\nOf its flesh (bearing spores),\nHe compares them to stores:\nApothecia? Truly! He's sold.", "id": 10147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "We drove into town for some food,\nBut her tone tipped me off to her mood,\nAs she started in hot. Oh,\nHow fiercely the auto-\ncatalytic discussion ensued!", "id": 10148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I'm reading a letter from Ed!\nWasn't mailed, though, so don't be misled.\nMy hand's so erratic!\nThis note's automatic;\nEd's writing it out from the dead.", "id": 10149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Though an open-air shrine may be fine\nOn the days when the sun likes to shine,\nWhen the weather turns wet,\nThen I'm willing to bet\nThat an aedicule might seem divine.", "id": 10150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Bail out the rowboat, my mate,\nFor our boat's sprung a leak as of late.\nThough my socks are all wet\nThere's a positive, yet\u2014\nNow the fishing inside is first-rate!", "id": 10151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "It's grand, and elaborate too,\nWith a strictness to form, that is true.\nEvery tune we hear now\nIs a calf of this cow.\nIt's Baroque, mister! What's it to you?", "id": 10152, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The music was quite inharmonic;\nThe dissonant chords were no tonic.\nAll the notes were ajar\u2014\nLeft my brain with a scar\u2014\nMental pain can be stereophonic!", "id": 10154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When we feared that Katrina might kill\nOle Fats Domino (hardly a thrill),\nHow we wept and we moaned!\nHow we welled up and groaned!\nHow we cried upon Blubbery Hill!", "id": 10155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "First he climbed up the cliff (it was tough!),\nThen he called in a voice rather gruff,\n\"Hey, you're easy as pie!\nYou're not steep, it's a lie!\"\n(As you see, he was calling its bluff.)", "id": 10156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "In the bin, I deposit these things:\nOld letters, two kites without strings,\nBroken iron (not hot),\nSome perfume my wife bought.\nOh, these ties! See the fun junk-time brings?", "id": 10157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I might try a new instrument soon,\nBut I doubt it'll be the bassoon.\nThough its tone is okay,\nIt's too awkward to play\nWhile I dance all about like a loon.", "id": 10158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "So you say you're a bachelor, Matt?\nYou're a man all alone? Who needs that?\nGet a woman to love you,\nTo dust shelves above you,\nAnd ask if that dress makes her fat.", "id": 10159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "With a bottle of wine in my hand,\nAnd agenda unset and unplanned,\nI can ramble with glee\nWhere I'm taken for free:\nIn a boxcar I travel the land.", "id": 10160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Biconditional: This thing is true\nIf and only if that one is too.\n  With this logic symbolic,\n  You'll go out and frolic\u2014\nThat's IFF that sounds pleasant to you.", "id": 10161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If you go archipelago hopping,\nYou really should think about stopping\n When the whole island chain\n Is bombarded by rain\nAnd you see the barometer dropping.", "id": 10162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Can you answer this puzzle of note?\nThere's a wolf, and some corn, and a goat,\nAnd a river to cross\nWithout suff'ring a loss,\nWhen there's room for just one in the boat.", "id": 10163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Meine bubbe said, \"They can be boyish;\nWhen they're young, you can even act coyish.\nYour passions you'll quench,\nJust make sure he's a mensch.\nAnd don't bring him by if he's goyish.\"", "id": 10164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The table was covered in baize.\nIn a fire, it would soon be ablaze,\nBut as long as it's cool,\nWe can keep playing pool;\nI've been winning for several days.", "id": 10165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "As you pilot your schooner around,\nFrom below comes a loud scraping sound,\nAnd you yell, \"What the heck?\"\nAs you're pitched 'cross the deck\u2014\nWell, it's just that your ship's run aground.", "id": 10166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "The arrogant man's overbearing;\nHe's proud, and he's rude and uncaring.\nAnd further, he knows\nThat his shoes and his clothes\nAre much better than those that you're wearing.", "id": 10167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Now, what do you call this condition:\nTwo nouns in a row? Apposition.\nIf you want an e.g.,\nSay \"numeral three.\"\nYou will now have accomplished your mission.", "id": 10168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your atlas is cervical one;\nIt occurs where your spine is begun.\nThings atlantal relate\nTo this bone\u2014why we'd state\nThat anatomy's oceans of fun.", "id": 10169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the restaurant rush to get done,\nWhen a guest is impatient to \"run,\"\nWe are apt to serve beans\nTo consumers of greens,\nLike Ralph Nader, a \"party of one.\"", "id": 10170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "By day he marked time with a scrawl;\nBy night he abraded the wall.\nHis primary goal\nWas to scratch out a hole\nAnd then through it, to freedom, he'd crawl.", "id": 10171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In your dreams, you're urbane and a wit,\nThough in life, you're inane and a twit.\nAll your schemes are insane;\nYou're the bane of my brain,\nAnd a pain in the place that I sit.", "id": 10172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Through the water, tall Aramus wades.\nStreaked and spotted brown feathers in shades\nOf the mud swathe this snailer.\n\"Key-AAAAR,\" wails this wailer.\nThis limpkin limps home in the 'Glades.", "id": 10173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To a mixture of salt, fat, and flour,\nAdd a cup of cold milk, beat an hour\nWith the flat of an axe;\nForm as spheres, place on racks,\nPrick three times with a fork, bake, devour.", "id": 10174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Levee rifts left New Orleans bereft;\nFlooding snarled her societal weft,\nLeaving victims galore,\nOld and poor, at death's door,\nTo subsist by donations or theft.", "id": 10175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Whose honk is a doorbell enhancer?\nWhose gosling's a barnyard entrancer?\nAbout whom had we said,\n\"Auntie, gray goose is dead\"?\nThe answer, my friend, is the Anser.", "id": 10176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A chef de cuisine loved to tell\nOf his prank on a punk (drunk as well):\nHe steamed the drunk's lager,\nAdmixed agar-agar\u2014\nIn minutes, the lager was gel.", "id": 10177, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the King of Lesotho drew near,\nHe was armed with an assegai spear.\nIn Sesotho he swore.\nA Basotho he bore.\nAll Basutoland trembled in fear.", "id": 10178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the editor's neck-deep in LACE,\nBolts of final approvals to place,\nAll the cut-work is set,\nWords embroidered on net,\nEven gros points defined with sheer grace.", "id": 10179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Along Florida's space-launching coast,\nAphelocoma flew to a post.\nThis jay lives in scrubs\u2014\nPines and oaks small as shrubs\u2014\nThough cerulean, brighter than most.", "id": 10180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The bailiff commands us, \"All rise.\"\nAs the judge takes her seat, I surmise:\nWe could raise funds for bail\nIf our child goes to jail...\nWhat?  Dismissed?  What a joyous surprise!", "id": 10181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On your lip-zipping skills I depend\nAs your ears and wise counsel you lend.\nListen, please don't bewray me,\nWith gossip betray me;\nI trust you today as my friend.", "id": 10182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "For warfare conducted on land,\nYou've munitions and outposts well-manned.\nTo attack from above\n(When your push comes to shove)\nYou will need a good air force at hand.", "id": 10183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "The ant is a great little pest;\nThe finding of food is its quest.\nAll ants serve the queen\nWho seldom is seen\nAnd lays all the eggs in the nest.", "id": 10184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "When a one-armed man served as my waiter,\nI inquired, \"Who was your amputator?\n The cut's clean through the bones;\n Did you see Doctor Jones?\"\nHe said, \"No, I was caught by a gator.\"", "id": 10185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I'm an addict, or so it's been said;\nMy addiction takes over my head.\nNow I limerick away\nThrough the night, through the day,\nTo define every word, A to Z!", "id": 10186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "There was once a geography teacher,\nIn whose atlas was seen a strange creature.\nThe biology lab\nPut the book on the slab\u2014\nBut discovered the \"bug\" was a feature....", "id": 10187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Once a year I'm inclined to spend days\nIn a telly-induced semi-haze,\nWhen significant lucre\nFunds championship snooker\nAnd coloured balls trip round the baize.", "id": 10188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our Masters of Abacus grab at us,\nAnd often will make the odd jab at us.\nIf we pay them no heed,\nOr miscount a stray bead,\nThose Samurai senseis will stab at us!", "id": 10189, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "If you want your bread whiter than white,\nYou must agenize flour overnight.\nNo pain is involved\nWhen the bleach is dissolved,\nBut it permeates every last bite.", "id": 10190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Affirmativeness\u2014what a word!\nThere's a reason it's not often heard,\nBecause \"joyful assent,\"\nNot \"insistence,\" is meant:\nYou must gladly agree that's absurd.", "id": 10191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Alluringly, Potiphar's missus\nWould wink at the lad and blow kisses,\nBut when he said, \"No!\"\nOff to prison went Joe,\nThinking, \"Fine case for abstinence this is.\"", "id": 10192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In the garden stood Laura and Ed.\n\"Please be mine,\" he adoringly said,\n\"Though I've no Diamond ring,\nIt's my Heart that I bring!\"\nThen a Club from her Spade struck him dead.", "id": 10193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A Barmecide came from the east,\nAnd provided us all with a feast.\nBut the plates full of pie\nWere just pie in the sky\u2014\nAll illusion, except for the yeast.", "id": 10194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Agis 1: Spartan myth. Don't you know?\nAgis 2: Subdued Athens. Good show!\nAgis 3: Fought and wrangled.\nAgis 4: He got strangled,\nWith his mom and his granny. Tough blow!", "id": 10195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At thieving, old Bob was a topper,\nBut even the best come a cropper.\nOld Bobby's undoing?\nA bawbee\u2014he's ruing\nPurloining a constable's copper.", "id": 10196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "They worship the ground where I stray;\nI tread on the ground where they pray.\nAt this fate, I complained:\nApotheosis stained\nMe with hubris, for which I must pay.", "id": 10197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Antipodes aren't as far\nAs you once had thought far-flung lands are.\nWhat had seemed very distant\nHas now grown consistent\nWith a fast-shrinking global bazaar.", "id": 10198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Once they stood for long-lived groups like NATO\nAnd farmers of russet potato.\nNow alliances\u2014those\nOn reality shows\u2014\nCrumble sooner than those in Soweto.", "id": 10199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Amnesiacs get in a rut,\nAt a loss to remember . . . but what?\nFrom a blow on the head\nOr emotional dread,\nThings that should be sharp aren't clear-cut.", "id": 10200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A slur is a double-edged sword\nAnd many a sad mouse has roared\nWhen cut with that blade.\nAncipital trade\nIn insults brings zero reward.", "id": 10201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Amaranthus, a genus of plants,\nHas a flower that often enchants\nWith its purple-red hue\n(Sometimes green or gold, too)\u2014\nVibrant beauty which only God grants.", "id": 10202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When three cops tried to stop the affray,\nThey got punched by the scrappers, and they\nFound that none fight as hard,\nAnd with such disregard,\nAs do women on store-closing day!", "id": 10203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "I'm rotund, and I know that's not hip,\nBut just as I boarded the ship,\n\"Down and left!\" I was told,\n\"We need heft in the hold.\nYou're our ballast the rest of the trip.\"", "id": 10204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "I need a new purse; I can't lag.\nSince the bargains are great, I must snag\nOne of each size and style\u2014\nWhile the prices aren't vile;\nI can brag on the tag for each bag.", "id": 10205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Its entablature seems to be Greek,\nBut the rest of this building's a freak,\n'Cause no columns stand tall\n(No pilasters at all),\nSo astylar's its style. Strange technique!", "id": 10206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In Austin, the warm summer sky\nRight at dusk fills with mammals that fly.\nOn their membranous wings,\nBats swoop miles in big swings,\nEating insects till Fall brings \"goodbye.\"", "id": 10207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In those long ago Ages called \"Middle,\"\nWhen the alchemists often would piddle\nWith ways to forestall,\nBy elixir, Death's call,\n'Twas arcanum they sought with each fiddle.", "id": 10208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The reporter announced that the quake\nHad left damage and death in its wake.\nNeither borders nor zones,\nCodes for mail or the phones,\nCould prevent its azonic big shake.", "id": 10209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When so brightly the day is now dawning,\nAnd your mouth opens wide from your yawning,\nWhat can save both your eyes\nFrom the sunlight's surprise\nIs your window's full sunshade, its awning.", "id": 10210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The inspector declared it sub-par,\nA pub more akin to a scar\u2014\nA place for stiff drinks,\nBut now everyone thinks\nThat \"improvement\" means razing the bar.", "id": 10211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "When you're aged, or antediluvian,\nThen you're older than ruins Peruvian.\nYour eyesight is weak,\nAnd your bowels need a tweak,\nAnd the sex? It's no longer Vesuvian.", "id": 10212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The areola's color surrounding\nThe center of something that's rounding.\nThe nipple's an ample\nAreolar sample.\n(That I kept this so clean is astounding!)", "id": 10213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "You show no emotion at all:\nNever laugh; never rage; never bawl.\nYour apathy seizes you;\nLassitude pleases you!\nDon't even bother to call!", "id": 10214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Communion in church there's a prayer\nThat the celebrants say to prepare\nFor receiving the Host.\nAnamnesis for most\nMeans recalling His pain and His care.", "id": 10215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To anticoagulate means\nTo inhibit those clotting machines\u2014\nThe thrombins in blood\nThat can clog it like crud\nAnd are driven by diet and genes.", "id": 10216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My weight has experienced gains,\nAnd the girdle no longer constrains\nMy abdominous thrust,\nSo I'll have to adjust\nMy bay window\u2014and add a few panes.", "id": 10217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A prelate (and Charlemagne's friend)\nNamed Albinus was asked to amend\nAnd unshackle the schools\nFrom their Frankified rules.\nThus a renaissance started. The End.", "id": 10218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The adventurer hazards it all,\nPuts his bucks on the line and stands tall.\nHe assumes any risk,\nAnd his actions are brisk.\nHe may win by a whisker, or fall.", "id": 10219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're losing your hair, you're appalled,\nFearing women will not be enthralled;\nBut by shaving your head,\nYou'll get lucky in bed,\n'Cause a man, to some gals, should be bald.", "id": 10220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After Little League, on to Babe Ruth!\nThis is baseball for teenagers\u2014youth\nStill in love with the game,\nNot addicted to fame\nLike pro athletes. How ruthful this truth!", "id": 10221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The deceiving began in my youth.\nI'm an absolute fibber, forsooth.\nThat I falsify is\nApodictic. Gee whiz!\nIt's the lies I like more than the truth.", "id": 10222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a suffix where action's conveyed,\nAs is seen in a word like blockade.\nIt makes lemon a drink\n(Pretty handy, I think).\nWhen you need it, it comes to your -ade.", "id": 10223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adding sauce gives the chicken a zing,\nBut is mushroom or pepper the thing\nThat's improving the taste\nOf the cream-enhanced paste\nThat is gracing our coq \u00e0 la king?", "id": 10224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This berried and thorny-leafed shrub\nIs a buckthorn\u2014an evergreen, bub.\nAlaternus will do\nAs a purgative, too,\nWhich can help you eliminate grub.", "id": 10225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adrenoleukodystrophy\nHas nothing to do with antistrophe.\nThis disorder destroys\nCerebellums in boys.\nYes, in boys, only boys. (That's epistrophe.)", "id": 10226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife is exceedingly thin,\nJust a skeleton covered by skin.\nI'm as fat as a pig,\nMany sizes too big,\nSo for weight, I'm the yang to her yin.", "id": 10227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a courteous colleague, it's true,\nBut his absence of schooling won't do.\nAcademical study\nWill help make your buddy\nA scholar and gentleman, too.", "id": 10228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Such unusually lightheaded guests,\nWith their mouths and their eyes in their chests,\nLeave the host in a daze.\nThe Acephali's gaze\nSeems as odd as their talkative breasts.", "id": 10229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Explore an arboreal wonder!\nThe forest's a canopy under\nWhich predators crawl,\nSeeking creatures who fall\nOut of trees from fatigue or a blunder.", "id": 10230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Toward the pole from the warm South Pacific,\nAntarctica looms, where prolific\nAd\u00e9lies entice\nIn a world made of ice\nThat's unbearably cold and algific.", "id": 10231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Arab in Mecca becomes\nAn importer of resins and gums.\nBut some mucilage spills\nAs he leafs through the bills,\nAnd the arabin sticks to his thumbs.", "id": 10232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Greeks on the Argo were racin',\nBut not after gold for their Jason.\nOn the ship there were mites\nGiving Argonauts bites.\nIt was fleas more than fleece they were chasin'.", "id": 10233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an aphid is sucking a leaf,\nIt's the bottom that's getting the grief.\nThis abaxial side\nIs a place he can hide.\nEat on top and his life could be brief.", "id": 10234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The National Anthem was played\nBy a band whose adapter had made\nIt uniquely conform\nTo a dissonant swarm\nOf kazoo-toting clowns on parade.", "id": 10235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Ancient Greek Gorgon was prone\nTo make quartz out of muscle and bone.\nEvery now and again\nShe would agatize men,\nAs Medusa turned humans to stone.", "id": 10236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acephalocyst holds a worm\nThat is larval and lives for a term\nIn the fluid, then grows;\nAnd as everyone knows,\nIts eruption can make a man squirm.", "id": 10237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Psychiatrists base many theses\nOn children\u2014the young of our species.\nI'm twee, so at two\n(Maybe three) I held poo,\nBeing anal-retentive with feces.", "id": 10239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's colorless, volatile, scary\u2014\nA flammable liquid. Be wary,\n'Cause acrylonitrile,\nIf given a light, will\nExplode, and results could be hairy.", "id": 10240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since coffee's a cheap agrypnotic,\nMy counting of sheep is robotic.\nEach morning I rise\nAnd another man dies.\nThis insomnia's why I'm psychotic.", "id": 10241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My novel's adjudged a success\u2014\nBy a publishing outfit, no less!\nIt's considered so good\nI think everyone should\nBuy a copy from Vanity Press.", "id": 10242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those dogs playing poker are neat,\nAnd Elvis in velvet's a treat.\nAll these paintings bewitch,\nBut the artwork is kitsch\n(From the German for \"mud in the street\").", "id": 10244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a week I've been mopey and sick.\nMaybe Tylenol might do the trick?\nSo I gobble the pills;\nThen I'm stricken with ills.\nGet me acetylcysteine\u2014quick!", "id": 10246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a tent, in arrears with my rent,\nI'm in debt (to my ears), since I've spent\nEvery cent that I've made\nAt the penny arcade.\n(Now you know where the money all went.)", "id": 10247, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Hold a barbie or two on your lawn\nAnd yer wintertime blues'll be gone.\nChuck a snag on the grill,\nCrack a Tooheys, and chill:\nCome an' barbecue up a raw prawn!", "id": 10248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Through Bahamian gardens they flit,\nSipping juices from fruits they can slit.\nThese birds sing on the wing\nBut their squawks mean one thing:\n\"Back off our banana tree\u2014quit!\"", "id": 10250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The tree swallow's munchies are planned\nLike the yellow-rumped warbler's food, spanned\nThrough their months of non-breeding:\nThey're bayberry seeding\nAnd live off the wax of the land.", "id": 10251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Do you think Bryan Adams, when he\nSaid he'd \"Run to You\", meant to BC?\nThis heaven astounds\nWith its heart-stopping Sounds...\nAll the kids wanna Rocky, eh, B?", "id": 10253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Blood oranges make a fine juice\nFrom flesh that's deliciously puce.\nI guzzle a flood,\n'Cos it's good for the blood,\nThough it's not like I need an excuse.", "id": 10254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A barbiton (bit like a lyre)\nIs a pleasure to play\u2014why not try 'er?\nThis instrument sings\nWhen you strum Grecian things,\nBut it bites if the strings are barbed wire.", "id": 10255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you fancy a bout of bizarreness?\nHere, put on this saddle and harness,\nThen chomp on this bit\nAnd allow me to sit\nOn your back... why the look of such farness?", "id": 10256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Them bluegrass performers sure quicken\nTheir pace with their pluckin' and pickin'\nWhen folks paddle by...\nAin't got no idea why\nIt makes all o' them city boys chicken.", "id": 10257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Leaders of great bellicosity\nRespond with a hellish ferocity\nTo any attacks:\nFor example, Iraq's\nGone to hell with ferocious velocity.", "id": 10258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Beware of the hazards that lurk\nIn the name of the Icelander, Bj\u00f6rk:\nShe'll let out a squawk\nAt \"Buh-yorrk\" or \"Buh-jawk\";\nMispronouncing it drives her berserk.", "id": 10259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Beltane is pagan desire\nMade flesh: as the flames travel higher,\nThe May Queen parades\nFrom the tall colonnades\nWith her drummers and maids by the fire.", "id": 10260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Bhopal is in Madhya Pradesh;\nIt's a city where memories are fresh\nOf the havoc once wreaked\nWhen some holding tanks leaked\nAnd the culprits all prayed to Ganesh.", "id": 10261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It grows happily under your feet?\nWhen it's roasted, it's pleasant to eat?\nYes and yes? Yet you said\nThat the tuber ain't red?\nBut then how can this veggie be beet?", "id": 10262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I ponder the saints and infinity,\nThe angels, the devils, the Trinity:\nYou see, my degree\nIs a holy BD.\nHeaven knows, we could use more Divinity.", "id": 10263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Bizarrely, the Boozer's Bazaar\nSells its fortified port by the jar\nAnd its brandy in buckets...\nIt's bloody good luck it's\nJust seventeen minutes by car.", "id": 10264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If someone's exceedingly driven,\nThis is axiomatically given:\nHe should certainly stop,\nElse the curtain may drop.\nWhat's the point, if a life's not worth livin'?", "id": 10265, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In Britain, \"the top of the pops\"\nMeans a song that you'll see in the shops\nFrom London to Tayside\u2014\nThe number one A-side\nOf singles that haven't been flops.", "id": 10266, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'm handing the waiter, Sareesh,\nSome bakshish for bringing my quiche.\nHis comeback is strange:\nHe's offering change!\nIt's meant to be his greenback\u2014sheesh!", "id": 10267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Fresh images, still, as they stun\nUs with thoughts of the lives left undone;\nHard, still, to remember\nThat splintered September:\n9/11/2001.", "id": 10268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Oh, look, darling\u2014what do you know!\nIt's old what's-his-name. Jolly good show!\nAnd you just heard him shout...\nWas it... \"immigrants out\"?\n(He's a BNP member. Let's go.)", "id": 10269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "O, shall I compose thee a sonnet?\nI worship thy hair, and what's on it...\n('Tis not what I said;\nThere's no bug on thy head,\nSo no need for the bee in thy bonnet.)", "id": 10271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I awake from a terrible dream\nTo a hideous, blood-curdling scream.\n\"Oh my God! What was that?\"\n\"It vos only a bat,\"\nSays Count Dracula, canines agleam.", "id": 10272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Dr. Strangelove's a film darkly comic\nAbout missiles and mishaps atomic.\nMajor Kong gave a yell\nAs the bomb 'neath him fell\nWhile it traced out a course balladromic.", "id": 10273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer and SheilaB", "limerick": "\"We are going to marry,\" said Hugh,\n\"There is no way Jack's marrying you.\nHe's a bounder, a lout.\nI've deposed him, no doubt\u2014\nA without-any-mercy beau coup!\"", "id": 10274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's so strange on the range: eerie things\nSound so wrong in the songs that he sings.\nIt's so cloudy all day,\nWhere the antelopes play,\nAnd the bison eat buffalo wings.", "id": 10275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Night oarsmen in water. A strand.\nAshore, ten, I'm warranting, stand.\nHere, they have no old rope,\nOr they'd leave her no hope:\nTheir anagram's written on sand.", "id": 10276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the firebird of mythical fame\nMakes a fuel of herself, what a flame!\nReplication's no fun\nIn this species-of-one:\nShe's azygous\u2014unpaired. What a shame.", "id": 10277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though you know things adorned with a bow\nMay be gifts that I plan to bestow,\nIt's a rule that's untrue\nWhen applied to my shoe.\nChild of mine, you have got to let go.", "id": 10278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anna's picture? I'd taken a liking\n'Til we met accident'lly while hiking.\nThen the truth was exposed:\nI'd seen Anna morphosed,\nAnd her anamorphosis was striking.", "id": 10279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jholtzman", "limerick": "You might have a big celebration\nWhen the Pill causes anovulation.\nBut it may make you grave\nIf it's babies you crave \u2014\nYou need eggs to achieve procreation.", "id": 10280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Mythic Ampyx's total synopsis:\nSpouse of Chloris and father of Mopsus.\nAnd when growing your bangs,\nFor your hair as it hangs,\nUse an ampyx to fix how it flopses.", "id": 10281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While she walked around, peripatetic,\nShe would talk at a pace so frenetic\nThat the muscles she'd sport\u2014\nThe mandibular sort\u2014\nCould be characterized as athletic!", "id": 10282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Other lawyers would say with disdain\nThat Jane's kindliness made her a drain\nOn the legal profession;\nThey coined an expression:\nWant friendship? Call Amity Jane!", "id": 10283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We're appalled at the polls, which have shown\nWe're electing a corpse! Might have known,\nSince it's worthy of note\nThat our dead get to vote,\nAnd perhaps he's just one of their own.", "id": 10284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Quipped the second-rate riverbed comic,\n\"I'm not saying they're autopotamic,\nBut my neighbors the trout\nAre about to move out\n'Cause their water bill's so astronomic.\"", "id": 10285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Not too sure if a baby's in there?\nA ballottement will tell you what's where.\nGive a push from below:\nIf it floats back, you know\nThat the couple will soon have an heir.", "id": 10286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Anadipsia's quite a large thirst,\nThough it comes on quite slowly at first.\nDon't be counted a fool:\nStay away from that pool,\nOr you'll drink so much water you'll burst.", "id": 10287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Now the reo, who's called in absente,\nMay find that he's forfeited plenty.\nHe's not there to help out,\nThough his lawyer's about.\nHe'll be serving a fifteen-to-twenty.", "id": 10288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "P. T. Barnum would put on a show\n(The \"Greatest on Earth,\" don't you know),\nAnd freaks would be in it.\nAnd born every minute:\nA sucker who'd pay him to go.", "id": 10289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "To bend is to flex or to twist,\nAs in bending your neck or your wrist,\nOr to yield to one's pleading\nWith weakness, conceding\nA point, having failed to insist.", "id": 10290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An Angora's a goat whose long hair\nGuarantees it is warm everywhere.\nIt is prized for its coat,\nBut we don't call it \"goat\";\nIt's \"mohair\", which sounds far more rare.", "id": 10291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The highest rank he'll ever get\nWill be knight, or perhaps baronet,\nBut he's stupid to start\nTo sign himself Bart.\nWhen he hasn't been knighted as yet.", "id": 10292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Chew some betel (the leaf and the nut),\nTo feel happy and out of your rut,\nBut you oughtn't to chew\nOn a beetle, or you\nWill end up with a bug in your gut.", "id": 10293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Babirussa: An East Indies pig\nThat has canines prodigiously big\nCurving out of his snout\u2014\nIf you see 'em, wig out,\n'Cos the pig gets indignant, you dig?", "id": 10294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Reproductively, Big Foot agreed\nThat his prospects were hopeless indeed:\nHe'd be heirless, unless he\nHad congress with Nessie\nAnd fathered a Big Centipede.", "id": 10295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The truth of it started to seize us:\nWe knew that the blizzard would freeze us.\nCaptain Scott scrawled his notes.\nIt was too much for Oates\u2014\nOut of him, the thought scared the bejesus.", "id": 10296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A DJ from Austria thought he\nCould make Julie Andrews sound naughty.\nNow the hills are alive\nWith \"The Edelweiss Jive\"\u2014\nBPM of a hundred and forty.", "id": 10297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "What's that thing over there by the rose?\nSomething anguiform under my nose?\nIt sure looks like a snake!\nOh, but wait, my mistake.\nSee? It's naught but the gardener's hose.", "id": 10298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "He stood and addressed the large throng;\nThe address he delivered was strong.\nBut instead of applause\nHe got only slack jaws,\nSince the address he'd gone to was wrong.", "id": 10299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My story has mostly been told;\nAt aetat 85 I am old,\nToo mature to go cattin'.\nSo say it in Latin\u2014\nIt still leaves my blood running cold.", "id": 10300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "HeuristicsInc", "limerick": "If a pen pal you might like to be,\nA language that's foreign is key.\nThis desire you can quench\nIf you learn to write French \u2014\nThen you've got a friend in ami.", "id": 10301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Being served at \"El Gallo Rosado,\"\nA bistro in Vail, Colorado:\nGuacamole and more\nTasty dishes made for\nThe avocado aficionado.", "id": 10302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "\"Since the first day I saw you,\" said he,\n\"You're just lovely\u2014so clever, so free!\"\nBut I (thanks to mother)\nKnew one line from another.\n\"That banana oil won't work on me!\"", "id": 10304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All my angsts are beginning to show\nAnd I'm worried I'm headed for woe.\nYou see, angsts is a word\n(And the shortest, I've heard)\nWith five consonants right in a row.", "id": 10306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bananaland isn't so bad\u2014\nIt's a nickname that Queensland has had\nFor a century or more,\nWith bananas galore!\nMore bananas, mate! Orange you glad?", "id": 10307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Cinderella, with fairy-tale flair,\nHad no time before midnight to spare,\nSo she fled the affair,\nLost a shoe on the stair,\nFlagged a pumpkin, but hadn't the fare.", "id": 10308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The alto sax playa was flighty;\nHer urging for merging was mighty.\nHer morals got loosa\nTo John Phillip Sousa,\nParading around in her nightie.", "id": 10309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As my dreams arithmetic encumber\nMy numberless efforts at slumber,\nOne-by-one, countless sheep\nMock my turbulent sleep:\nFlocking sheep leaping, boundless in number!", "id": 10310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're reluctant to put on a visor\nWhile running a blood analyzer?\nShould it rise in a geyser\nAnd splash in your eyes or\nYour mouth, you'll be redder, but wiser!", "id": 10311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "The barbwire fence and the train\nReshaped the American plain.\nIt's no longer a home\nWhere the buffalo roam,\nAnd none of the cowboys remain.", "id": 10313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adelgidae sounds like the song\nOf a chorus of angels, a throng\nOn the clouds o'er the cliff,\nBut it isn't, and if\nYou said plant lice, you wouldn't be wrong.", "id": 10314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The asclepiad butterfly feeds\nOn Asclepiad flowery weeds;\nWith asclepiad verse,\nWhich is ancient and terse,\nAsclepiades penned passion's needs.", "id": 10315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If you think that acidic food's scary,\nThen be wary, avoid acetary.\nIt's acidic, that pulp,\nSo if such you can't gulp,\nThen you're better off sticking with dairy.", "id": 10316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Asexual mating is not\nVery typically thought of as hot.\nBut in vitro?  Folks do\nLust for no-thrills sex, too:\nThe infertile who want kids a lot.", "id": 10317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "The mouse and the hippo and pig\nAre animals little and  big.\nSome live in the zoo,\nSome can howl or moo,\nAnd the meerkat Timon loves to dig.", "id": 10318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In north Africa's Barbary land\nAn artel weight can fit in your hand.\nThroughout Russia, artels\nAre its craftsmen's cartels.\nARTEL telephones dial on demand.", "id": 10319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "On the night before Christmas, I brooded\nAs sweat from my forehead exuded.\nMy heart felt like lead,\nSince my husband had said,\n\"The batteries? None are included.\"", "id": 10320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "With no columns on each of its sides,\nThe Greek temple was called by the guides\nAn example worthwhile\nFor the \"apteral-phile\",\nWho delights in the joy it provides.", "id": 10321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Acquire: to gain, steal or buy.\nAnd I'm finished! Let's chat \u2014 shall we try?\nI feel great, day's been swell.\nHow are you \u2014 hope you're well?\nOops I'm done! Have to go now! Good-bye!", "id": 10322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Aphrodisiacs build up the fire\nOf feminine sexual desire.\nIf a chap says he'd never\nUse any whatever \u2014\nI reckon he's probably a liar.", "id": 10323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "Since your trustworthy aide has abetted,\nYou're likely to feel quite indebted.\nBut he's helped you do wrong,\nSo it may not be long\n'Til the cops have the both of you netted.", "id": 10324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "When you lower your sail to surrender,\nYou amain, yield your ship, don't defend 'er.\nWhen amain (at full speed),\nYou're in trouble indeed,\nIf three sheets to the wind on a bender.", "id": 10325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "There once was an acridid, Lenny,\nWho said as he waved his antennae,\n\"I'm a vigorous locust\nWhose plan is quite focused:\nTo eat not a few leaves, but many.\"", "id": 10326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As a mooth, he lacks sense of connection\nWith heading or bearing selection.\nCould you help disentangle\nHis azimuth angle?\nJust tell him his compass direction.", "id": 10327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The judge on the bench had his way,\nSo you're headed for Botany Bay.\nNew South Wales is a gaol\nThat can make a heart fail\u2014\nSay goodbye to your life, not g'day.", "id": 10329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My bookshelves are groaning; it looks\nLike my library's cloning more books.\nIt's a burden indeed\nTo have so much to read\u2014\nCurse the Muse and her babbling brooks!", "id": 10330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "When you're tallying chunks of meniscus\nIn your knee that you tore throwing discus,\nAnd the abacus here\nIs unwieldy, you fear,\nUse the handy, petite abaciscus.", "id": 10331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "We are similar in our mentality:\nAbnormalcy means \"abnormality,\nAn irregularity,\nDeparture from parity.\"\nExample: our split personality.", "id": 10332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My report: from the girls I escort,\nI extort my support\u2014it's my forte.\nBut the sort I exhort\nFinds my sport comes up short.\nTo accourt (same as court), I'll comport.", "id": 10333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "It's a nucleus-free sort of cell\nThat we call the acaryote. Hell,\nIt's akaryocyte,\nIf you want it just right,\nBut akaryote works just as well.", "id": 10334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the hallways, my monitor duties\nI ably performed, despite cuties\nWho steamed up my glasses\nWhile begging for passes\nAnd left me with cases of cooties.", "id": 10335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Buck Owens, Merle Haggard and friends\nMoved to Bakersfield. Hist'ry contends\nCalifornia's the place\nWhere they changed music's pace,\nAnd the country with rock-'n'-roll blends.", "id": 10336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bandicoot comes from afar.\nWith her stripes and long snout, she's bizarre,\nBut she's never a grouch\nWith her pups in her pouch;\nShe's at home where marsupials are.", "id": 10337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An auntlike and flowery note\nCame to nieces, abroad and remote.\nIt was writ on fine vellum\nBy old Auntie Bellum.\nHow marvelous; watch Auntie dote!", "id": 10338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles and mephistopheles", "limerick": "To assist me in writing this ditty,\nMy \"alters\" have formed a committee.\nMy multiple selves\nAre as helpful as elves,\nAnd a few of us even are witty!", "id": 10339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This coal miner's lung's out of whack:\nFrom anthracite dust, it's turned black.\nThe doc's diagnosis?\n\"It's called anthracosis;\nThat's making him wheeze, cough, and hack.\"", "id": 10340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Epidermal cells, healthy, abide\nIn a layer attached side-by-side.\nAfter keratinolysis\nYields acantholysis,\nGaps between cells become wide.", "id": 10341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Affrontiveness takes me aback,\nAnd I tried to respond with a whack.\nBut I hadn't much luck\nAs I'm only a duck:\nI could only respond with a quack.", "id": 10342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Their appointment by angels' selection\nUses ointment as proof of election.\nWarm oil slowly spreads\nAs it drips down their heads:\nIt's anointment's divine imperfection.", "id": 10343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The augmented seventh's a chord\nThat the organist plays when he's bored.\nHe is leading, I've heard,\nIn the top of the Third.\n(That's a win for the winds, as it's scored.)", "id": 10344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some amazingly sensible fellow\nTook to wrestling in apricot Jell-O.\nAs a practical dude,\nIt's his sole source of food:\nNow his body is stained orange-yellow!", "id": 10345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Augustinian monks thusly spake,\n\"'Tis no sin to admit a mistake!\"\nWould we not think it odd,\nIn the city of God,\nIf they had no confessions to make?", "id": 10346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With a fear of divine retribution,\nYou are seeking the priest's absolution.\nShow remorse and regret?\nHe'll forgive, not forget,\nWhat you did to deserve execution.", "id": 10347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When infested with thrush on your tongue, Gus,\nThank C. albicans, dimorphic fungus.\nThey're intestinal flora\nYou used to ignore: a\nProverbial fungus among us.", "id": 10348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Angialgia, of which I complain,\nIs vasalgia, a vascular pain.\nThose are terms too arcane\nFor these worms in my brain\nBusy juggling my jugular vein.", "id": 10349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That actress attempts to beguile,\nWearing only high heels and a smile.\nThe expected result:\nLittle doubt she's \"adult\",\nWith a repertoire supple in style.", "id": 10350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Sequestered for half the semester,\nYoung Lester met Esther; impressed 'er.\nWhy'd Lester detest 'er,\nLet animus fester?\nShe pestered him 'cause he obsessed 'er.", "id": 10351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anatoxin may come from diphtheria,\nOr from blooms of cyanobacteria.\nStopped nerves' operation\nPrevents respiration.\nAnabaena, I'll never go near ya.", "id": 10352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What a pterrible pthing it would be:\nI'd look up at pthe branch of a ptree,\nWhere arrayed by pthe dozens,\nPterodacytlish cousins\nHunt poor archaeopteryx\u2014me.", "id": 10353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "This small word when defined, \"a big deal\"\n(Such as hyping a second-rate meal),\nIs so often quite true\u2014\nThere's just too much ado\nAbout nothing but bogus appeal.", "id": 10354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "The iamb had dreams anamnestic,\nOf past lives sublime and majestic!\nTwo-syllabled now,\nShe whispered, \"I vow\nThat I once lived a life anapestic!\"", "id": 10355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "If there isn't a hole in the ground,\nAnd your cellar just cannot be found,\nUnless there's illusion,\nI'd say the conclusion\n\"You're basementless\" likely is sound.", "id": 10356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "Forgive me my moody depiction;\nMy thoughts are a saddened admixtion:\nHigh prices, the blues,\nWar and death in the news \u2014\nWhile the partisans blame with conviction.", "id": 10357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "tannpl", "limerick": "\"I'd like to be Amish,\" he sighed,\nAs the freshly ploughed fields he espied.\n\"But you wouldn't be free\nTo watch sports on TV,\nAnd the work is too hard!\" she replied.", "id": 10358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In my garden, I've got quite a braw mix!\nEnough cabbage for anyone's slaw mix,\nLots of herbs to peruse,\nFruits in all kinds of hues...\nGlad I majored in home agronomics.", "id": 10359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the cargo bay1 stayed the bay2 Ray\nWhile the greyhounds were baying3 all day.\nHeld at bay4, Ray would neigh\nTo the bay5 water's spray,\nAs the boughs of the bay6 swayed away.", "id": 10360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Near Charleston, this man was a leech\nOn all shipping that came within reach.\nThis pirate most feared\nHad a black braided beard,\nAnd he went by the name Edward Teach.", "id": 10361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now ABTA's a travel trade body\nRenowned from Penzance to Kirkaldy.\nIts good regulations\nSave Britons' vacations\nFrom shysters who sell something shoddy.", "id": 10362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Acequia: a ditch or a drain\nThat irrigates out on a plain.\nWere it used on a hill\nIt would soon overfill \u2014\nSo water there runs in a main.", "id": 10363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anonymity some people claim\nTo avoid all the pitfalls of fame,\nLike that guy down the street\nWhom you never quite meet.\nOh, you know who I mean \u2014 What'sizname!", "id": 10364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "If projectiles are aimed at your head,\nDon't get angry or cower in dread.\nStudy aim, target, speed\nAnd trajectory: heed\nThe ballistics of snowballs instead!", "id": 10365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "I think I'm too late; I sense doom.\nBut here's polish, a dustpan and broom.\nYou must tackle the scum\nThat's amassed and become\nAn agglomerate \u2014 tidy your room!", "id": 10366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Be it biscuits, buns, brownies, or bread,\nCake or cookies with milk before bed,\nA freshly baked treat\nSimply cannot be beat\nFor a soul to feel comfortably fed.", "id": 10367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Yes, my oeuvre is simply immense\u2014\nI'm a poetess\u2014but in no sense\nCould one call me bas bleu\n(That's bluestocking to you).\nMoi, I haven't a shred of pretense!", "id": 10368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Frank was lucky the judge set low bail,\nSo his moll sent the dough in the mail.\nBut it never got through\u2014\nWas returned postage due\u2014\nSo he's stamping to little avail.", "id": 10369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A bale is a long cubic block\nOf raw or of processed plant stock\nSuch as cotton or hay\n(Sells so well shaped that way),\nAnd its profit keeps farms out of hock.", "id": 10370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Lots of foodstuffs when eaten are scary;\nSome are spicy or acrid or hairy.\nBut a red fruit that's yummy,\nAnd feels good in your tummy,\nIs the juicy, delicious bing cherry.", "id": 10371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To abbreviate words often is\nOne key to the lexicon biz.\nThough examples are myriad,\nSome have no period\nSo purists will often hate \"Ms\".", "id": 10372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "There's nothing so prone to abraid\nSleepy kids as a band on parade.\nThey fidget, they shout,\nAnd they caper about,\nWhile their folks pray to heaven for aid.", "id": 10373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "For a prime South American beauty,\nTake note of the rodent agouty.\nHis kind marches on\nAfter others have gone,\nYet he humbly declines to be snooty.", "id": 10374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "The first to the finish gets laid!\nThe stupidest bet ever made,\nBut that agonism meant\nMy last chance for consent:\nThe following day I was spayed.", "id": 10375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "A hard bit of luck, this aphasia.\nA language loss surely will crasia.\n  Though limericks I write,\n  In spite of my plight,\nThe fact that I can should amasia.", "id": 10376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Their romantic encounter: sublime,\nBut her partner turns out to be slime,\nFor he tells all his friends\nThat he banged her, which ends\nTheir once budding affair\u2014what a crime!", "id": 10377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "It's OK that my hairpiece is hairlike,\nAnd the stool that I sit on is chairlike.\nBut it isn't quite fair\nThat I'm not breathing air,\nJust some gas that purports to be airlike.", "id": 10378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Alcibiades fought through the gore\nOf the Peloponnesian War,\nAnd, worst of all crimes,\nHe changed sides three full times\n(Thrice too many, for those keeping score).", "id": 10379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From lager I tried to protect her,\nBut the bar finally had to eject her.\nThe beer led to fights\nAnd then out went the lights!\nShe's a gal who can't drink amber nectar.", "id": 10380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Growing old is a process obscene;\nStill I yearn (if you know what I mean).\nIn a world where PCs\nDo advanced math with ease,\nCould you love an old adding machine?", "id": 10381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To the Admiralty Islands we flew,\nBut the reason for this?  No one knew.\nThen they said, \"Here's the skinny:\nThey're north of New Guinea.\nWe must take them to win World War II.\"", "id": 10382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The archbishop was firm, unassailable.\n\"There's no sickness to cure? That's bewailable!\"\nYes, within his archdiocese,\nThe pain of psoriasis\nWas the only disease still available.", "id": 10383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your rhyme and your meter are cruddy.\nAnd your logic?  It strikes me as muddy.\nYour facts you should check\n(Lord, this limerick's a wreck!),\nSo it's back to the drawing board, buddy.", "id": 10384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I had reckoned I could be \"the Bard\"\nTill my progress was suddenly marred\nBy Shakespearience lacking.\nMy fans sent me packing.\nAt last I've succeeded: I'm barred.", "id": 10385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Asparagus, I like real well.\nIt gives me two things I can tell:\nTo my taste buds, a treat\nAs a side dish to meat\u2014\nTo my urine, an awfully bad smell.", "id": 10386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In business, I'm not just some punk.\nDo not think I'm as dumb as you thunk.\nI'll give you a tip:\nMy main bargaining chip?\nYour grandma's tied up in my trunk!", "id": 10387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If adventure to you often calls,\nThen you might want to see Angel Falls.\nFor the ultimate peril,\nShoot these in a barrel!\nTo do so, you'd have to have nerve.", "id": 10388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I detested this woman to death\nFor her likeness to Lady Macbeth.\nWhen she suffered, last May,\nA brief hospital stay,\nI sent her some baby's bad breath.", "id": 10390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"We never do anything my way!\nYou don't hear a word of what I say.\nI told you, to reach\nDowntown Waikiki Beach,\nYou do not take the damn Alcan Highway!\"", "id": 10391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"You've a past?  I don't care where you've been,\"\nI declared to my new lover Jen.\nShe seemed perfect for me\nTil I found she had three\nAnkle-biters with two other men.", "id": 10392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My in-laws: relations of mine\nThat result when two families combine.\nAs opposed to my mother,\nMy sisters, and brother,\nEach in-law is called an affine.", "id": 10393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Accidentalism states that events\nHaven't any connection and hence,\nIf this theory's correct,\nThere's no cause and effect.\nWhat B.S.! (though that's just my two cents).", "id": 10394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An absolute auction is nice.\nWhy's that?  There's no minimum price!\nYou can get God knows what\nInexpensively, but\nDon't go overboard!  That's my advice.", "id": 10395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Action-packed is a term that embraces,\nIn films, lots of guns and wild chases,\nAnd it's why guys respond\nTo the acts of James Bond\nBut then not so much Mother Teresa's.", "id": 10396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My lover, a woman named June,\nSo gorgeous she makes grown men swoon,\nPresents a dilemma:\nShe wants me ack-emma,\nBut most days I sleep in till noon.", "id": 10397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He held a position unique,\nAnd he came to our high school to speak.\nHis oration began:\n\"I'm the Navy's top man.\"\n\"Well, that's admirable,\" said I, pun in cheek.", "id": 10398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Absentmindedly's how I write verse,\nAnd distracted, my rhyming gets worse.\nI'll start with a line,\nAnd then...\n\"What the hell was I thinking?\" I wonder.", "id": 10399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Dan Two Trees, the chief of the Sioux,\nWas asked for his favorite hue.\nHe glanced, by and by,\nAt a pale patch of sky,\nAnd then smiled as he said, \"Baby blioux!\"", "id": 10400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While it's true you look utterly stunning,\nDelays, dear, I've got to be shunning.\nI happened to grab\nA damn Limerick Cab\nAnd his anapest meter is running.", "id": 10401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Louise is an animalier.\nArt with animals is her career.\nShe paints pictures of rats\nAnd of vampire bats,\nSubjects I would not ever get near.", "id": 10402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anti-English is dumb by design.\nI believe that the English are fine.\nThe Beatles were great.\nWinston Churchill?  First rate!\nAnd R.E. is a good friend of mine.", "id": 10403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A woman I know was defaming\nHer husband by loudly exclaiming:\n\"To clean is a chore\nAnd the damn bathroom floor\nIs a mess, Piss for Brains, you're not aiming!\"", "id": 10404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Abominating's hating extremely\u2014\nA negative feeling, unseemly.\nBut when you have crossed\nPast a point where you're lost,\nThen your hate seals your fate quite supremely.", "id": 10405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Liking Paul and George, Ringo and John,\nDoesn't make you a betelnut, Don!\nIf folks chew you and drool,\nAnd it's red \u2014 well, then, fool,\nOnly then will you qualify, mon!", "id": 10406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Baby sucks on his cute little thumb\nAs he lies on his sweet little tum.\nBeing so well-intentioned,\nHe hates when it's mentioned\nHe pukes on his poor little mum.", "id": 10407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The metal actinium-two-\nTwenty-seven is eerily blue.\nIt's a beta-emitter,\nAglow and aglitter\u2014\nAnd radioactive clear through.", "id": 10408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Niagara was home to a hermit\nNamed Abbott for only a term (it\nWas under two years);\nFrancis drowned, it appears.\nFolks who've been to the Falls can confirm it.", "id": 10409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Miss Muffet, that tuffeted lass,\nCan't bluff it, with nerves made of glass.\nHer arachnophobia,\nReally, can so be a\nPain, if a spider should pass.", "id": 10410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some words are quite easily said\nAs I read to myself in my head,\nBut some others, I fear,\nChthonic pains-in-the-rear,\nNot articulable, fill me with dread.", "id": 10411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The first thing that died was the clock.\nThen the engine developed a knock!\nShocks had had it, no doubt.\nNext, the muffler blew out.\nI gave up when a freeze cracked the block.", "id": 10412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An acephalus fills me with dread,\nAs if having a nightmare in bed.\nAn Alcelaphus I'll\nCall an antelope, while\nAn acephalus hasn't a head.", "id": 10413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We met when she acted as guide\nOn a Chinatown trip.  Almond-eyed,\nShe engaged my attention;\nShe's now, I might mention,\nMy Asian-American bride.", "id": 10414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "These spearheads are artifacts which\nMy uncle dug up in a ditch.\nSince they're shaped like a leaf,\nI've decided, in brief,\nThey're Aterian treasures \u2014 I'm rich!", "id": 10415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antidotal  means made to oppose\nAny toxin that Medicine knows,\nTill its poison abates.\nAnecdotal relates\nTo a story recited in prose.", "id": 10416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To polish an apple is fine.\nIt produces a mirror-lilke shine,\nBut I'd like to abolish\nThe verb apple-polish \u2014\nKowtowing was never my line.", "id": 10417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Do you know how a beau and his wench\nParlez vous'd as they wooed on a bench\nBack in Normanized Britain?\nBoth spoken and written,\nThe language is called Anglo-French.", "id": 10418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antisepsis means everything's clean\nWith no virus or germ to be seen.\nAntisepsis goes far\nIn the modern O.R.\nWhere it's used for preventing gangrene.", "id": 10419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bee, not a bear or a bunny,\nMakes honeycombs, inside puts honey.\nWhen an object's outside\nLooks like honeycomb, I'd\nSay alveolate, right on the money.", "id": 10420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Examine an Amazon's chest\nAnd I'm sure you'll be greatly impressed.\nYou don't need a physician\nTo name her condition,\nAmastia: missing a breast.", "id": 10421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When antigens enter inside\nYour body, they can't really hide.\nFrom the cells in your blood,\nSpecial proteins will flood \u2014\nIt's an allergy when they collide.", "id": 10422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A brash young policeman named Chester\nWas Florida's foremost arrester:\nNinety-one arrestees,\nIn Palm Beach and the Keys;\nAll were nabbed 'cause they wore polyester.", "id": 10423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The famed aardvark and aardwolf compete\nFor fat termites in African heat,\nSo they set out at night\nWhen it's cool \u2014 oh, and fight\nOn this A-page, but aardwolf's been beat.", "id": 10424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Pyromaniac gatherers strove\nTo complete their inflammable trove.\nThey were one device shy\u2014\nIt's fed wood from up high:\nThe unusual base burner stove.", "id": 10425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "A young academic named Billy\nWas known to be ever so silly.\nThough his teachers were great,\nNot a sum's on his slate:\nJust \"school sucks!\" and a large cartoon willy.", "id": 10426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Said father to son, \"You should know\nThat your basal metabolic rates show\nForce expended at rest.\nThey are mainly expressed\nBy the heat that your body lets go.\"", "id": 10427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "\"Who wrote this? Please tell!\" was their plea.\n\"This lim'rick's as bad as can be!\nWho's the fool that could make\nThis appalling mistake?\"\nPlease don't tell them the author was me.", "id": 10428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "I can't sing, so was honoured to hear\nThe audience give me a cheer.\nMy aria began;\nThey looked shocked, then they ran!\nIt was \"Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer\".", "id": 10429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Said the diva, who gave a slight cough,\nTo the jubilant fat lady, sof-\ntly, \"What I'm gonna say,\nPlease don't take the wrong way:\nThey're applauding because you came off.\"", "id": 10430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and speedysnail", "limerick": "Though regarded by some as delightful,\nYour monster-filled movie's affrightful.\nThat horror show flick\nMade me dreadfully sick.\nAnd the nightmares? I had a whole night full!", "id": 10431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "If you fancy a kiwi to eat,\nActinidia's fruit would be sweet.\nYou must not eat the bird.\nEating people? Absurd!\nKiwifruit on pavlova's my treat.", "id": 10432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Ooh, Baby!\" I said to Michelle,\n\"Let me baby you here for a spell.\nLie down and guess what\u2014\nI'll rub oil on your butt!\nOoooh!  It's soft as a baby's as well!\"", "id": 10433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Affluence: plenty of wealth\nMade in public (or even by stealth).\nBut wealth's acquisition\nThrough driving ambition\nIs not always good for the health.", "id": 10434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since you live in a place that's palatial,\nYou've got enough dough for a facial.\nYour acne's a fright,\nAnd although you are white,\nWith those blackheads you're looking bi-racial.", "id": 10436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On inventing the very first plastic,\nLeo Baekeland had dreams onomastic\u2014\nHis own name he bestowed\u2014\nBut his Flemish roots showed:\nIt's called Bak/e/lite, trisyllablastic.", "id": 10437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "The writings of ancient Egyptians\nProvoked a debate on ascriptions.\n\"The author?  He's gone.\nLet's call him Anon,\"\nSomeone said, but the rest had conniptions.", "id": 10438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "If you encircle your camp with a lattice\nOf felled trees bound together, then that is\nA fortification\nProtecting your station.\nThe construction is called an abatis.", "id": 10440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An Arabian had the idea\nThat in Dallas, if he were to be a\nTrue Texan he'd need\nAn agal, big indeed,\nThat would fit his ten-gallon kaffiyeh.", "id": 10441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On our third date I said, \"What's the matter?\nYou've given me nothing but chatter!\nI want satisfaction,\nSo show me some action!\nAll or nothing!\"  (She gave me the latter.)", "id": 10442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There is one thing in which I take pride:\nMy vasectomy shows I provide\nReproductive control\nAs a personal goal.\nI'm in earnest\u2014all kidding aside!", "id": 10443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When an actor is labeled as \"Hot,\"\nHe is working, more likely than not.\nWith skills uninspired,\nHe still will be hired.\nBankability counts for a lot.", "id": 10445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This hot dog's all-beef, we avow,\nWhich denotes that it comes from a cow.\nBut just where from the beast\nComes your summertime feast?\nIf you knew, you'd stop eating them now.", "id": 10446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "My tween pulled a coup late last year\nWhen I saw a bandeau near her ear.\n\"Great hair band,\" I said.\n\"It will soon leave my head,\"\nSaid she, \"to become my brassiere.\"", "id": 10448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In a posting, if you have some doubt\nIf your statements will really stand out,\nThen perhaps you had better\nUse caps, or block letter.\n(That is, if you really must SHOUT.)", "id": 10449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Each new Catholic priest used to get a\nPeculiar hat, a biretta,\nUpon ordination\nAs a mark of his station:\nToo clerical \u2014 now they know betta.", "id": 10450, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "This writing is called boustrophedon \u2014\nno deen dluow uoy thguoht uoy gnihtemos toN\nThis limerick site:\nthgir/tfel neht, tfel/thgir tsuJ\nThat's how it is done, so now read on...", "id": 10451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "I was told by the government man,\n\"There is now a new federal ban\nOn asbestos, you know.\nWhat you used must all go.\nRemove it asbestos you can.\"", "id": 10452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "I went to the London zoo, where\nI saw a poor bear without hair.\nI don't know if that's bad,\nBut I felt very sad.\nI can't bear to behold a bare bear.", "id": 10453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Old Zeke Smith held a gun on poor Seth.\nSeth had kissed his young daughter, sweet Beth.\nDad said to Beth's beau,\n\"Shotgun weddings, you know,\nAre a matter of wife or of death.\"", "id": 10454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Accipitrine hawks have short wings\nAnd sharp beaks used for shredding small things.\nIn woodlands they prey,\nFierce killers in grey,\nUsed in falconry\u2014passion of kings.", "id": 10455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "An amicicide\u2014offing a friend\u2014\nMeans you must have gone way 'round the bend.\nYou have done a great wrong,\nWon't have freedom for long,\nYour relationship's reached a dead end.", "id": 10456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "She was Martian:  quite green, blood not warm.\nShe had hundreds of arms, not the norm.\nSingle leg, pointy head;\nIn the fall she would shed.\nI said, \"Dear, you are arboriform.\"", "id": 10457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I was mowing my lawn in the shade\nWhen my typical daydreaming strayed\nTo the spinning steel's brief\nBout with each grassy leaf:\nAn encounter of blade against blade.", "id": 10458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "To blaspheme, just utter some joke\nAgainst a real heavenly bloke.\nIf you flip off a saint,\nThough they sign no complaint,\nYour visa they just might revoke.", "id": 10459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "Any boater can guide his own ship\nOut of docks or a mooring or slip.\nIf it sinks, he'll need skills,\nOr the growth of some gills,\nIf he hopes to continue the trip.", "id": 10460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "The bare-knuckle champion, Jones,\nHas fists like two cobbling stones.\nTo puddles he renders\nThe leading contenders\nAnd then picks his teeth with their bones.", "id": 10461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "A Blackwall hitch can be undone,\nExcept when it's tied by my son.\nYes, the knot looks just right\nAnd it holds fast and tight,\nBut untying that hitch is no fun.", "id": 10462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "Austin Powers had said, \"Oh, behave!\",\nAnd his chest really needed a shave.\nHe was naughty and nice,\nNasty teeth were his vice,\nAnd the British flag proudly he'd wave.", "id": 10463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "She's my dog and a mutt just like me.\nAny royal blue-blood? No sirree!\nFrench and Dutch, I'm not regal;\nShe's basset and beagle,\nThus banned from the grand AKC.", "id": 10464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "This country's amassing a debt\nThat will burden our kids, you can bet.\nWhen the debtors come calling\nAnd stocks are free-falling,\nThe rich will be offshore and set.", "id": 10465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "A bird pepper sounds nice and sweet,\nBut you have to beware of this treat.\nI was dared by my son\nTo digest only one;\nMy tongue's blistered and charred from the heat.", "id": 10466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "As a biped, it seems, I ablude\nFrom Creation's vast four-legged brood.\nI don't howl, I don't bark,\nI can't see after dark,\nAnd I rarely take walks in the nude.", "id": 10467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If your kitchen has nothing but meat,\nA few veggies, a pot, and some heat,\nThen that's all you will need,\nFor beef stew.  It's agreed\nYou'll be warm from your head to your feet.", "id": 10468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "The old gate had just closed with a slam,\nWhen the sentry looked out and said, \"Damn!\nGet your swords ready fast;\nThis poor gate will not last,\n'Cause the Huns have a battering ram.\"", "id": 10469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Young Izzy Beilin changed his name;\nSoon was king of the songwriting game.\nBut he's known\u2014it's a sin!\u2014\nAs the Irving Berlin\nOf God Bless America fame.", "id": 10470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "An armed brigand said, \"Give me your stuff!\"\nI said, \"No!\", and quite promptly the tough\nHad committed the crime,\nTaking every last dime.\nAnd to think, I believed it a bluff.", "id": 10471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I was lost in the fog while out sailing\nWhen hailed by a dealer out baling.\n\"I'm from Haling,\" I said,\nAnd he nodded his head.\n\"I can help! I've spent years there in Haling!\"", "id": 10472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Are you getting a case of the gout?\nWell, there's something you can't do without.\nAllopurinol, friend,\nCan lead to the end\nOf a hyperuricemia bout.", "id": 10473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Aguascalientes, you say?\nThe wine-rich resort town? No way!\nYou may not take my daughter.\nThough its name means \"hot water,\"\nJust take a cold shower, okay?", "id": 10474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "This agateware stuff's pretty keen\n(If you've seen it, you know what I mean).\nMetal oxides in slip:\nLet them swirl, never drip;\nGlaze with salt for an agaty sheen.", "id": 10475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "I'm ashamed, both with guilt and remorse,\nFor the things that I've done with a horse.\nAnd you should blush too\nFor watching it through.\nYou're a vet, I'm a filly of course.", "id": 10476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I think ambushing people's an art:\nYou must not make a sound from the start,\nBut bad-ass banditos\nEat beans and burritos\u2014\nWhat skill it must take not to fart!", "id": 10477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Feeling dizzy, lightheaded and faint?\nThen you're either in love or you ain't.\nIf your heart's not aglow,\nTo a doctor please go,\nFor you must have some lesser complaint.", "id": 10478, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Dr. Ana (of anesthesiology)\nGave ether to Pat (of pathology)\nAnd found him attractive,\nThough not interactive;\nThey wed and bred Phil (of philology).", "id": 10479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your physician-in-chief, when you're spending\nSome time in the hospital, mending\n(If you feel at a loss,\nCall him capo or boss),\nIn America's called your attending.", "id": 10480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Attendees at the president's fete\nWore Armani and Blass, and looked great.\nWhen I tried to get in,\nA cop said with a grin,\n\"You're too Kmart,\" and fastened the gate.", "id": 10481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "It's an aiger you say? What a bore.\nAnd it's headed this way? Hear me snore.\nOh be quiet, I'll look...\nHoly cow, up the brook!\nIt's a tidal wave! Get off the shore!", "id": 10482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Blend flour and fat (make a roux);\nAdd hot milk, and some seasoning, too;\nThen reduce and mix well.\nMmm...that's good b\u00e9chamel!\nMake your own, now you know what to do!", "id": 10483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the bedroom, a study contends,\nOne whole third of his life a man spends.\nSince it's not just for nappin',\nMore accidents happen\nRight there than in kitchens or dens.", "id": 10484, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Although people mean yes with amen,\nThis word also means\u2014straining my ken\u2014\nThat God notes all my needs,\nSees all human misdeeds,\nAnd comes quickly to judge, God knows when.", "id": 10485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "The chorus line girls were a hit,\nBut the bandleader threatened to quit.\n\"This shouldn't be lento\nWith slow portamento \u2014\nIt's allegro!\" he said in a snit.", "id": 10486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "As the Battle of Hastings raged high,\nHarold stood looking up  at the sky,\nSaw the flights 'gainst the grey,\nBut did not look away,\nAnd for that he got one in the eye.", "id": 10487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Thanks to bark, an old tree can endure.\nThe case of a bug can insure\nIt stays safe. A hard shell\nGuards the tortoise as well.\nAll these armatures keep them secure.", "id": 10488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nyhteg", "limerick": "Cried the king, \"I am most discontented.\nThis castle's not well battlemented.\nThe towers are small,\nWe've no ramparts at all,\nAnd the crenels are wrongly indented.\"", "id": 10489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "While we know that you're very well-read,\nPeople don't understand what you said.\nDo you think that it's cool\nTo say \"belonoid tool\"\nWhen you might have said \"needle\" instead?", "id": 10490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Sure, the blacksmith has fashion and glamour,\nBut what count are his diction and grammar.\n\"On the bickiron, chain\nWill take shape,\" he'll explain.\n\"That's the horn of the anvil I hammer.\"", "id": 10491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A big gun may often be hired\nWhen a business success is required;\nYet it seems that if you\nHave a target in view,\nThen the big gun will have to be fired.", "id": 10492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Aphrodite: the goddess of love\nAnd of beauty, sent down from above.\nDearest daughter of Zeus,\nI need little excuse ...\nExpect roses, by carriage of dove.", "id": 10493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "\"My breasts were once firm as two peaches,\nAnd now they tuck into my breeches.\nI'm happy,\" she sighs,\n\"It's my baggier eyes\nThat cause horrified looks on nude beaches.\"", "id": 10494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When my uncle, Tom Cobley, was small,\nHe \"made shoes\" that would, frankly, appal\nAny cobbling artiste\u2014\nWell, he poked holes, at least,\nWith his Uncle-Tom-Cobleyan awl.", "id": 10495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Atlantean? It means that you're strong,\nJust like Atlas (or maybe King Kong).\nYou appear fit and trim,\nLike you frequent the gym.\nPlus, you really look good in a thong.", "id": 10496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The crooks who now govern our state\nWere elected in 2008.\nBy 2010\nThey'll be running again\nOn an anticorruption-type slate.", "id": 10497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He raised the baton toward his face.\nSaid the King, \"I'm the boss in this place!\nAnd this scepter will prove it,\nSo no one remove it.\nYou'll be exiled or hanged in disgrace!\"", "id": 10498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacteria's one of those terms\nThat tickles my brain till it squirms.\nFrom the back of my mind\nIt emerges, defined\nAs a self-service diner for germs.", "id": 10499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Prepositionally, agitation\nNeeds at in a subsequent station.\nIn the Bard's \"fleer and scorn at,\"\nOr \"grievously mourn at,\"\nIt supplements loss or frustration.", "id": 10500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When you're deep, engineer, in abstraction,\nYou're a nexus of immanent action,\nAnd there's no way to know\n(It's a manager's woe!)\nIf you've strayed to a limerick's attraction.", "id": 10501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It is true that Prime Minister Blair\nFlattens foes till they cry their despair,\nBut he makes life a hell\nFor some Britons as well\nBecause Blair takes great care to seem fair.", "id": 10503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I surmised it was non-controversial,\nAnti-AIDS; have you seen the commercial?\nIn a dignified tone\nSeveral condoms were shown \u2014\nThat sufficed to arouse the inertial.", "id": 10504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your nude modeling gig?  It's suspended.\nYour acromphalus?  Not recommended!\nIf there's one thing not seen\nIn a skin magazine,\nIt's a navel that's grossly distended.", "id": 10505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I said, \"basis point.\" Here's what I meant:\nIt's one-hundredth of one small percent.\nAdd them up and you get\nThe interest on debt\n(On the money you've borrowed or lent).", "id": 10506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Off to France I would go (if I could),\nFor a wine with the slight taste of wood.\nDrink Banyuls for dessert,\nBut don't spill on your shirt;\nThis wine's red and will stain it for good.", "id": 10507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Say you're broke and you need a hot meal.\nYou won't borrow or beg, so you steal.\nTo avoid getting caught\nWith your hand in the pot,\nYou beat feet, which means running with zeal.", "id": 10508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If barbecued meats flip your wig,\nThen it's baby back ribs that you'll dig.\nFor good taste you can't beat 'em.\nA rabbi won't eat 'em...\nThey come from the loin of a pig.", "id": 10509, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If the spuds that you cook taste like wood\nAnd appear not as nice as they should,\nFetch some tubers and make 'em\nAu gratin or bake 'em.\nFind Anya potatoes; they're good.", "id": 10510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "On a paper three circles you chose,\nAnd now eight more are tangent to those.\nThose eight sure aren't phony and\nAre Apollonian\nCircles, my nerdy friend knows.", "id": 10511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "The balance of payments contains\nThe investment and capital gains.\nSadly, my country's broke:\nAll we've got is (no joke)\n\"Loaf of bread, pint of milk\" and slow trains.", "id": 10513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "As a plant, it's one most people wish\nLived away from the lakes where they splish.\nGreenish seaweed's a pest\nAs it clings to your chest,\nEven though it's delicious for fish.", "id": 10514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though some people just give it a pass,\nArgon's truly a most noble gas.\n Third most common, I hear,\n In our whole atmosphere,\nAnd fills lightbulbs inside of their glass.", "id": 10515, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I did not get the email you sent,\nAnd I have no idea where it went \u2014\n An unpleasant surprise.\n In the aether it lies,\nWhich is space of unending extent.", "id": 10516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "So, you're starting a Catholic sect?\nIf you're looking for papal respect,\n  You might want to rethink\n  Robes of fuchsia and pink\nAs the items in which you're bedecked.", "id": 10517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Aristotle, the Peripatetic,\nTaught physics in writings prophetic.\n To explain nature's laws\n Was the man's final cause,\nThough he also explored the poetic.", "id": 10518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "My bewilderment's nearly complete:\nDid you say that there's nothing to eat?\n  There's a fridge full of food,\n  And these cans of beans. Dude,\nGet a clue, all you do is add heat.", "id": 10519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "They say music becalms any beast,\nBut the saying's not true in the least.\n This is proved by my dad:\n While I'm playing, he's mad,\nAnd he's only content once I've ceased.", "id": 10520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "\"My car has a heater,\" said she,\n\"Air conditioning too, or AC.\nBut your passions devour\nThe AC's cooling power,\nSo I sweat when it's negative three!\"", "id": 10521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "He eats very little, you see?\nThere's his ribcage, his hip, and his knee.\nAnorexia nervosa\nMakes your bones a lot closuh\nTo your outsides than where they should be.", "id": 10522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My annalist, careful Carlotta,\nKeeps my history free of errata.\nMy analyst schemes\nTo interpret my dreams\nAbout wanting to bump off my fodda.", "id": 10523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "After-hours clubs, one may observe,\nSell you drinks when it's past time to serve.\nI won't go\u2014I'm afraid\nI'll get caught in a raid.\nAnd they're so overpriced\u2014what a nerve!", "id": 10524, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Get some vinegar, butter, white wine,\nThen add seasonings (herbs chopped up fine),\nAnd shallots (just a pinch).\nNow you're done, what a cinch.\nA beurre blanc on your food tastes divine.", "id": 10525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "In my biga I ride through the park.\nMy two steeds pull in daylight or dark.\nAs I ride in my chariot,\nThe awed proletariat\nCatch pennies I toss as a lark.", "id": 10526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "What's unknown to the public? Your face is!\nSince you haven't put paintings in places\n(Like a hall or museum)\nWhere many can see 'em,\nYou show in alternative spaces.", "id": 10527, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "From Norway he comes, a clinician,\nGeneticist, pediatrician;\nHe's a Knight (and he's so suave),\nOf the Order St. Olav:\nDagfinn Aarskog is quite the physician.", "id": 10528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Having chosen which choice to select\n(And, conversely, which ones to reject),\nA balloter then\nWill make use of a pen,\nMaking sure the wrong box isn't checked.", "id": 10529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "Every player we have is plebeian,\nExcept this Chilean named Ian.\nHeroic, ideal,\nThough weak in the heel,\nOn the whole Ian's quite Achillean.", "id": 10530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "That a nearly invisible bite\nFrom a spider should lead to this plight\nHas us shaking our heads.\nArachnidism spreads,\nA necrosis with no end in sight.", "id": 10531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An auxotroph got really tired\nOf ingesting the foods he required.\nThough his cousins proceeded\nTo make what they needed,\nHis enzymes were not as inspired.", "id": 10532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Although almond's two types\u2014bitter, sweet\u2014\nBoth produce fragrant oil from their meat,\nBitter almond, badam,\nIs not sold here, Madame:\nPrussic acid is harmful to eat.", "id": 10533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She bought an expensive apartment\n(Knowing nothing of style or what art meant),\nChose decor half baroquely\nAnd half Annie Oakley,\nBut her visitors knew what her heart meant.", "id": 10534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're weak and yet putting on weight,\nThen aminoglutethimide's great.\nIts effects can be vile\u2014\nYou could hurl for awhile\u2014\nBut your Cushing's disease should abate.", "id": 10535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The Beat movement's now coming back\nWith the beatniks who read Kerouac.\nThey don't clap, they just snap.\nThey like Ginsberg, not rap,\nSince they think rhyming metered poetry is \"strictly dullsville.\"", "id": 10536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Jocasta could be no one other\nThan Oedipus' very own mother.\nThe moment he knew\nThat a tragedy's due:\nAnagnorisis \u2014 denouement's brother.", "id": 10537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The deposit I placed in the bank\nCaused me trouble because of a prank.\nWriting, \"Give me your money,\"\nWas stupid, not funny.\nI wound up in jail, dark and dank.", "id": 10538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With 2 bdrms, lg ba & bay vu,\nThis SWM's feeling blu.\nHis girlfriend just left,\nRent unpaid; he's bereft\nAnd he's anxious 2 sublet 2 U.", "id": 10539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "In the Berkshires I choose to abide,\nNot in England's renowned countryside,\n  But on New England's tract \u2014\n  Massachusetts, in fact.\nIt's a glorious place to reside.", "id": 10540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The bahut's medieval and French.\nSmall enough to slide under a bench,\nIt's a chest that would hold\nHousehold objects of old,\nLike the thimbles and threads of a wench.", "id": 10541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Every time there's an earthquake disaster\nTurkish stores raise their prices for plaster:\nEighty aspers or more\nFor a bag that before\nWould have fetched only half a piaster.", "id": 10542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "It's a foolhardy person who'll dare\nTo have lunch in the woods with a bear.\nIf you have such designs,\nThen bejeezus defines\nWhat he'll probably, out of you, scare.", "id": 10543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Algazel (he preferred Al-Ghazali)\nConsidered philosophy folly.\nHe gave just the gentlest\nPro-fundamentalist\nNudge to Islamists, by golly.", "id": 10544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "They grow trees in a cluster like crops,\nBut those gangsters use terms that are flops:\nWhat I've heard is their custom\nTo call the arbustum\nOr arbor, I'm calling the copse.", "id": 10545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Though angels are rarer today,\nThe Biblical stories portray\nThem as shining with light\nOn a dark Christmas night.\n\"Praise God, Alleluia,\" they say.", "id": 10546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When pursuing a goal with avidity,\nEmbark on your quest with rapidity.\nWhen consumed by such greed,\nYou are eager, indeed,\nOvercoming your natural timidity.", "id": 10547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "In diseases called autoimmune\nLurks a process that's inopportune.\nCells of white, out of whack,\nTheir own body attack.\nI'd rejoice if a cure were found soon.", "id": 10548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A bitmap's a way to portray\nAny image you wish to display.\nJust convert it to dots\n(You will need lots and lots),\nAll arranged in a grid or array.", "id": 10549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "When my barnacles slide down my nose,\nYou'd be totally wrong to suppose\nThat my nose is a boat\nOr my head is afloat:\nThey're my spectacles (tinted in rose).", "id": 10550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Penny", "limerick": "A bird-eating spider partakes\nOf a diet of avian steaks.\nIts bite and its size\nMean a nasty surprise\nFor the birds that it suddenly takes.", "id": 10551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "It's the Chief Apiologist's duty\nTo determine which bees are acuti-\nlingual species\u2014the tongue\nAnd the head are among\nTheir distinguishing marks. And they're snooty.", "id": 10552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My dog had a tail: 'twas so small, it\nWas closer to nothing at all; it\nMight be an appendage,\nBut, lacking in splendage,\nAppendicle's more what you'd call it.", "id": 10553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An old preacher in Nashville named Ben\nDrew ay-mens from his congregants when\nHe concluded, \"Go out\nWith resolve strong and stout:\nBe believers, not doubters, eh, men?\"", "id": 10555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A chemistry student named Linus\nWould mix things at random sans shyness.\nA radical twist\nFormed an amylate mist\nOf C5H11O-.", "id": 10556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "At the bench he affirmed to the judge\nThat he'd pay all his debts\u2014he'd not fudge!\nBut he paid not a one;\nHe's a son of a gun\nWith a lifestyle a budget won't budge!", "id": 10557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "For auscultatory devices,\nA stethoscope often suffices.\nWith Baby's heart thumping,\nExpectant Mom's jumping,\nAnd Father's concerned about prices.", "id": 10558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Kate begrudgingly gave her approval,\nConditioned on \"right of removal.\"\nNow my moosehead looks stately.\nI treasure it greatly,\nDespite her sarcastic reproval.", "id": 10560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A chara's a term that you might\nStart a letter with if you're polite\nAnd you're Irish, refined,\nOf a business-like mind,\nAnd Acushla just wouldn't seem right.", "id": 10561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've an Irish colleen named Marie\nI refer to as cushlamochree\nOr acushla for short,\nAnd I'm proud to report\nThat she uses this same name for me.", "id": 10563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The pitchwoman, facing senility,\nProclaimed paper towels' great utility.\nIt's true that she's old,\nBut on Bounty I'm sold\nBecause of its high absorbability.", "id": 10565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though the \"gaunt look\" has gained popularity,\nIn real life, thank God, it's a rarity.\nOne more often observes\nWinsome women with curves\nInstead of severe angularity.", "id": 10566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was Judy, my ex, who did still me.\nShe had zero insurance until me.\nThe local judiciary\nNamed Jude beneficiary.\nWere I living, my widow would kill me!", "id": 10567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though their mission explicitly failed,\nIn the North their great valor was hailed.\nRecognition was due\nThese brave soldiers in blue,\nSo a brand new award was unveiled.", "id": 10568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "He scarfs sesame bagels at seven,\nHas a hunk of halvah at eleven,\nBathes biscotti regina\nWith hummus tahina\u2014\nThat boy believes benne's from heaven!", "id": 10569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The economy's slowed to a crawl\nIn Uganda and primed for a fall.\nMajor fraud has been blamed.\nAir supply, it's been named:\nMaking cash out of nothing at all.", "id": 10570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My sincere agastopia rose\nAt the sight of your exquisite nose,\nBut this specialized liking\nFinds other parts striking.\nWith Lee, I'm in love with her toes.", "id": 10571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bark mitzvah\u2014just what does this mean?\nIt's a party with canine cuisine.\nIf you've got too much cash,\nIt's the kind of a bash\nThat you throw when your dog turns 13.", "id": 10573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "ABC is not only construed\nAs a network I've frequently viewed;\nIt's advice (somewhat brash)\nMeaning \"Always bring cash,\"\nOr it's gum that's already been chewed.", "id": 10574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We've been buddies since I don't know when,\nAnd for golf we both share the same yen.\nBut the friendship is off\nIf just once more you cough\nAt the top of my backswing again!", "id": 10575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My lover was Margaret Sanger.\nShe'd fluster each time I'd harangue her\n'Bout sex and say, \"Please!\nI am not your 'Maine Squeeze'!\"\n(You see, each time I'd see her, I'd Bangor.)", "id": 10576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An ambush: a deadly surprise.\nBut take care! If you do it, be wise:\nNever leave a way out\n'Cause without any doubt,\nYou will not get additional tries.", "id": 10578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As a ploy, backdoor drafts have succeeded\nWhere elsewise our troop strength's depleted.\nSoldiers finish a tour,\nThink their lives are secure,\nBut the Army says, \"No, you're still needed.\"", "id": 10579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm the star but they can't guarantee me\nProper lighting so folks can ID me.\nThey claim that a baby spot\nMight work.  I say \"Maybe not\u2014\nIt's vital that everyone see me!\"", "id": 10580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You say that she's horribly fat?\nWith a face that resembles a rat?\nAnd her manners are cruddy?\nI'm warning you, buddy,\nDon't bad-mouth my mother like that!", "id": 10581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Avoidable things, like the flu,\nYou can shun and not have to go through.\nIn an alternate way,\nAs a phrase, you could say\nIt's what bullfighters all try to do.", "id": 10582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's midnight and no moon is shining.\nTwo lovers in bed are reclining.\nShe sobs to him, \"Mark,\nI'm afraid of the dark!\"\n\"Buy a night-light,\" he says. \"Stop your whining!\"", "id": 10583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I wanted to get my B.A.\nIn swimming from UCLA.\nI showed up at the pool\nWithout trunks, like a fool.\nThey expelled me the very same day.", "id": 10584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": ":-) means \"smiling.\"  You knew, I suppose.\n:0) guy's happy despite his big nose.\nBut if you have a wife\nWho's the love of your life,\nGive her @\u2014>\u2014>\u2014.  It's a single red rose.", "id": 10585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "Cousin Ben took a stroll by the shed,\nWhen a mugger said \"Give me your bread!\"\nAnd Ben chose to say\n\"Suck an egg! I won't pay!\"\nHe was ballsy, and now he is dead.", "id": 10586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In the apocatastasis, Satan\nAt last will be able to straighten\nThings out with the Lord,\nAnd perhaps can afford\nTo live somewhere more pleasant, like Dayton.", "id": 10587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "He shall grant you an audience now.\nWhen before him, at first you must bow;\n  Then he'll take off his pants.\n  You should venture a glance,\nAnd then after a moment, say \"wow.\"", "id": 10588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I live atwixt labor and strife.\nI'm torn atween mistress and wife.\n   I work betwixt heels;\n   I eat between meals;\nAnd there, in a nutshell: my life.", "id": 10589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In search of a dubious treat,\nPlease consider this vegetable: beet.\nFrom its juice we make borscht,\nWhich my mom often forscht\nDown my throat.  Gastronomic defeat!", "id": 10590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Said a lawyer, while flaunting his power,\n\"I'll charge that last billable hour!\"\nThe client, provoked,\nWas darn sure he'd been soaked\nWhen the lawyer billed time for a shower.", "id": 10591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You should never engage with a bickerer \u2014\nA petulant, petty fight-pickerer.\nHe'll quarrel and brawl,\nAnd profess to know all,\nWhen his skull couldn't be any thickerer.", "id": 10592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "David Atchison: who was this chap?\nHe was President, filling a gap\nIn between Polk and Taylor.\nNo election prevailer,\nIn office he just took a nap.", "id": 10593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Amphibolous prose means that I'll\nHave two meanings (and oh, with such style!).\nCan it be my sole mission\nTo show definition\nOr also to give you a smile?", "id": 10594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Anchors aweigh!\" sailors chime,\nAnd ships' anchors from depths start to climb.\nThough to me it seems strange,\n'Cause their weights never change.\nSo then why do they weigh them each time?", "id": 10595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "To her groundsman complained Lady Bliss,\n\"I'm afraid there is something amiss.\nThese drooping hydrangeas\nWere praised once by strangers.\nCarruthers, I know where you piss!\"", "id": 10596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "He told them, \"You dare not asperse\nThe rarefied art of my verse.\nSuch slander, such scorn\nCan never be borne\nWhile I live.  Now begone with my curse!\"", "id": 10597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Their cuisine's hardly fit for a prince,\nSo with no other way to convince\nClientele to come back,\nThey cajole with a snack:\nOn the table, a few bland dish mints.", "id": 10598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My birthday's not hard to remember;\nIt comes 'round each year in December.\nMy interests are various\u2014\nI'm pure Sagittarius\nThe Archer (we start in November).", "id": 10599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Cain and Abel most likely stacked rocks.\nCaesar's children piled bricks in a box.\nBut for centuries before\nLEGOs came to the store,\nKids built houses of plain wooden blocks.", "id": 10600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I sat with my wife for a chat:\n\"We've no kids to bring up, and all that...\"\n\"Ateknia's fine;\nBoundless love?  I get mine\nFrom a husband, six dogs, and a cat.\"", "id": 10601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In colloids, a chemist must cope\nWith particles small beyond hope.\nBut the amicrons' scale\nIs so tiny that they'll\nBe the smallest bits seen with a 'scope.", "id": 10602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The wind's howling \u2014 it sounds like a gale\n(Do you think they'll deliver the mail?).\nThis storm is perverse;\nIf it gets any worse,\nIt could end up a \"9\" (Beaufort scale).", "id": 10603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The deficit yearly you bloat;\nAll full of hot air, you then gloat.\nAs you rest on your laurels\nWith dubious morals,\nBe glad that our grandkids can't vote.", "id": 10604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The blood fluke's a parasite worm;\nIf you catch one, you'll soon feel infirm.\nIn fact, you can die of this\nSchistosomiasis.\n(Trematode worms make me squirm.)", "id": 10605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For those who invest, please take heed:\nSome investment advisors mislead.\nMine got caught by an audit.\nGee, who would have thought it?\nA cruel accounting indeed!", "id": 10606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "While a luff is the edge of a sail,\nAnd a laugh can be had from a tale,\nWith a loofah to scrub,\nI'm aloof in the tub:\nA standoffish, indifferent male.", "id": 10607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A sly nomad, a Bedouin, sat\nAt a desert oasis to chat\nWith a sandy-haired miss,\nAnd he boasted, \"One kiss\nAnd I'll bedouin five minutes flat.\"", "id": 10608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Feds caught the fiend they were after:\nThe Chapstick-that-detonates crafter.\nHe said, with aplomb,\n\"Gee, it's just a lip bomb.\"\nAll the agents exploded with laughter.", "id": 10609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Those beefsteak tomatoes were great,\nAnd they garnished the burgers you ate.\nBut carnivores cry\nIf you feed them one. Why?\nThere's no beef and no steak on their plate.", "id": 10610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See the animals, children, draw nigh;\nThere are aardvarks and aardwolves to eye.\n\"There's a zebra,\" you purr.\n\"That's no beast,\" I demur.\n\"It's the largest size women can buy.\"", "id": 10612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I've two wives but to both I am true,\nAlthough bigamy's viewed as taboo.\nAnd my mistress, in turn,\nHas my money to burn.\nI guess that was real big o' me too.", "id": 10613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An alliance of parties, ad hoc,\nIs what forms a political bloc.\nNow, the insider scoop\nSays that leading that group\nIs a bloc-head.  (I'm sure that's a shock.)", "id": 10614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Yes, there's no biz like show biz, they say.\nSee how big biz eats small biz each day.\nWe're always so biz-zy\nIt just makes us dizzy \u2014\nLike bees in a Biz-antine play.", "id": 10615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We've been hoping that jail's a deterrent\nFor actions considered aberrant.\nFrom prison statistics\nAnd criminalistics,\nIt's painfully clear that it weren't.", "id": 10616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For beheading a king or a queen,\nJust rely on the French guillotine.\nIt's the fate that was met\nBy Marie Antoinette\nAnd her consort, one Louis Sixteen.", "id": 10617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In death I have nothing to fear.\nMay my friends toast my life with good cheer.\nAnd though I may have passed\nAnd so breathed in my last,\nI've no worries!  I'll have me a bier.", "id": 10618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "L. van Beethoven's Fifth is adored;\nIt's a masterful work, deftly scored.\nHis creative success\nIf applied here, I guess,\nMeans his Fifth RFA we'd record.", "id": 10619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Bastille, with its stones and its mortar,\nHoused inmates who garnered no quarter.\nAn occasional fiend\nFound himself guillotined,\nWhich would render him quite a bit shorter.", "id": 10620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My advice to my wife (I'm her rock):\n\"Bide your time, dear, don't hurry, take stock.\"\nMy advice was sublime.\nYup, she buyed her some time,\nAnd came home with a beautiful clock.", "id": 10621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the deli the countermen try\nTo create a nice sandwich I'll buy.\nBut the guys here are klutzes\nWhen piling cold cutses.\nThey'll fix me a turkey awry.", "id": 10623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A fellow was desperate for sleep.\nHe decided to try counting sheep.\nMathematically dumb,\nHe lost track of the sum.\nHe slept baa-adly of course, and not deep.", "id": 10624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Turkish-bred noblemen say,\n\"California is where you should stay.\nYour manly physique\nSuits the title you seek:\nSan Francisco's most beautiful bey.\"", "id": 10625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Find a word that begins with bq;\nWrite a limerick's the task that I drew.\nWell, Bq means becquerel.\nScientifically swell,\nIt's a nuclear decay. (How'd I do?)", "id": 10626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A nudist named Prissy (no prude)\nLeft her undies suggestively strewed.\nNow aroused quite a bit,\nA young guy \u2014 [Ed. That's it!\nWe will not let this writer be rude!]", "id": 10627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You should use the full colon this way:\nFirst write that you've something to say,\nThen the dots, miss a space,\nAnd then make your brief case\nTill (as here) there's no more to convey.", "id": 10628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Semicolon's a shy little mark;\nIt has one tiny byte, but no bark.\nI've attempted to show\nHow one works, but I know\nThat I'm also at times in the dark.", "id": 10629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Those tongue-troubled ant-slurping aardvarks\nMust slurp them from sharp grass and hard barks.\nBecause ants don't much care\nReturned bites are unfair,\nAardvarks' scratch marks are turned into scarred marks.", "id": 10630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I was twenty \u2014 I'm now twenty-one.\nAnother great year has begun.\n'Twas this date when my birth\nBrought me onto this Earth.\nIt's my birthday!  Now let's have some fun!", "id": 10631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I wore black and refrained from all merrying,\nAs I pondered celestial ferrying.\nI arrived; my host gazed\nAt my outfit, amazed,\nAs it seems I'd been asked to go berrying.", "id": 10632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bathysiderodromophobia's what\nMy psychiatrist says that I've got.\nSo don't be a crab,\nJust call me a cab\u2014\nRide subways is what I cannot.", "id": 10633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An augury is a prediction\nThat allows us, with utter conviction,\nTo find prescient words\nIn the entrails of birds,\nBut to me it's just avian fiction.", "id": 10634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The proud axis, a South Asian deer,\nCarries antlers as sharp as a spear.\nFacing one, I am cowed,\nThough \u2014 for crying out loud \u2014\nHow could \"axises\" (sic!) cause me fear?", "id": 10635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adiaphoresis, I'm betting,\nIs a word that's related to sweating,\nThe absence of which\nMakes you hot, and you itch;\nA condition that's truly upsetting.", "id": 10636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a brewer named Dale\nWhose brewery started to fail,\nBut a costmary herb\nMade his business superb.\nHe used alecost to flavor his ale.", "id": 10637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you live east of Europe, and you\nHave a culture that's ancient and true,\nAnd hate TV and Cokes,\nFind McDonald's a hoax,\nAnti-western may be your world view.", "id": 10638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antijam is a word that throws curves.\nDoes it mean against jells and preserves?\nOr those jazz sessions, graphic,\nOr the jam-ups in traffic,\nOr dilemmas that get on my nerves?", "id": 10639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All my friends say my quest is moronic.\nAll my life's antiplague (that's bubonic).\nI fight terrorists who\nWould most happily strew\nSome Y. pestis in our gin and tonic.", "id": 10640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your wrestling team wants to fight bare?\nTheir whole bodies exposed to the air?\nThough the ancient Greeks did it,\nI hope you'll forbid it;\nBikinis, at least, they should wear.", "id": 10641, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An amoret's somebody who\nIs a wanton (wants more sex than you),\nAn amorous ditty,\nOr midwestern city\nWith Zip 64722.", "id": 10642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A struggling young dancer named Pearl\nCould do handstands and shimmy and twirl.\nShe attended auditions\nFor starring positions,\nBut was always a chorus-line girl.", "id": 10643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your silhouette makes you feel blue,\nAnd your thighs look like mush, here's a clue:\nThere's no need to feel blah,\nJust come out to my spa.\nAnticellulite treatment's for you!", "id": 10644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The accessory nerve: it relates\nTo the pharynx and neck, and creates\nA smooth swallow, which routes\nThe accessory fruits \u2014\nFilled with pulp \u2014 just as Nature dictates.", "id": 10645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Absinthial means something's been\nMade to blend with or saturate in\nWhat's called wormwood, so that\nIt can poison a rat.\nThat means absinthe's more toxic than gin.", "id": 10646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If it's antral, that means it's pertaining\nTo the antrum, which needs no explaining\nIf your headache's so bad\nThat you think you'll go mad,\nAnd you find that your sinus needs draining.", "id": 10647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An avuncular fellow named Rex\nTook me out to the Cinemaplex,\nBut though friendly and nice,\nAll he gave was advice;\nHe showed no kind of interest in sex.", "id": 10648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiriot gear covered the floor\nOf Station House 74,\nWhile the rookies inside\nLooked for places to hide\nFrom the mayhem outside of the door.", "id": 10649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She's a great Hindu goddess; with ease\nShe redresses both sin and disease.\nAditi, on high,\nNamed for \"limitless sky,\"\nIs creatress of all that one sees.", "id": 10651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you can't bend your leg, you're excused;\nAnkylosis means joints have been fused,\nBut your doc may agree,\nFor a hip or a knee,\nThat a total replacement be used.", "id": 10652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When public opinion was polled,\nThe results were surprising, I'm told.\nInsulation, wool socks,\nAnd a coat made of fox\nWere most frequently named anticold.", "id": 10653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's no fun in anginal attacks,\nWhen you feel you've been hit with an ax;\nYou grab hold of your chest\nAnd you hope for the best\nAnd you pray that your vessels relax.", "id": 10654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a writer named Maury\nWho wrote a unique antistory.\nIt just hasn't got\nAny hero or plot,\nAnd just stops \u2014 there I rest, a fortiori.", "id": 10655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Alprazolam, taken each day,\nKeeps anxiety symptoms at bay,\nBut you shouldn't take more\nThan prescribed for you, or\nA dependence might lead you astray.", "id": 10656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I always have wanted to be\nAn expert who goes on TV\nTo expound on the chahms\nOf the music of Brahms\nBut, alas, I have no A.Mus.D.", "id": 10657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The apostrophe's tiny, let's face it,\nYet potent and bold \u2014 so embrace it!\nIt will quickly subdue\nAny letter (or two)\nThat is cramping your style, and replace it.", "id": 10658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Being very correct or polite\nHas its place, but I'd rather invite\nYou to simply be kind\n(If that's not a great bind),\nFor it's straight and it never seems trite.", "id": 10659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Called the solidus, shilling mark, slash,\nStroke, and virgule, it's made such a splash\nThat it's called, I can tell,\nSeparatrix as well,\nAnd oblique/slant/diagonal dash.", "id": 10660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I cook with unusual garnish,\nAll my silver must be antitarnish,\n'Cause that black stuff's unsightly;\nIt is not rubbed off lightly,\nAnd I won't coat my silver with varnish.", "id": 10661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Whenever I'm going out jogging\nI treasure the miles that I'm logging.\nIf I work up a sweat\nAnd my forehead gets wet,\nThen my glasses should be antifogging.", "id": 10662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I know a young fellow named Bjorn\nWho wishes he'd never been born,\n'Cause his neighbor, named Sean,\nEvery morn greets the dawn\nWith arpeggios played on his horn.", "id": 10663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's her acne to which I'm attached,\nAnd my eczema needs to be scratched.\nThough we both have infections,\nWe've made our connections:\nWe're bacteriologically matched.", "id": 10664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I was a kid, in my teens,\nMy mom grew petunias and beans.\nThere were pansies and chard\nIn her Brooklyn backyard\u2014\nNot a garden (beyond her scant means).", "id": 10665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adiantum's a genus of fern\nTo which, seeking a lotion, you'd turn.\nA demulcent that's made\nFrom the Venus-hair, sprayed\nOn the skin, soothes a rash or a burn.", "id": 10666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ameiuridae\u2014they are not flat fish,\nNot especially thin, and not fat fish.\nThey're not odd or outr\u00e9\nBut the plain everyday\nUnadorned North American catfish.", "id": 10667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some companies carried out fudging;\nTheir profit and loss sheets showed smudging.\nWhen the SEC looked,\nAnd found books had been cooked,\nCEOs went to court for adjudging.", "id": 10668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's Agonus, one kind of fish\nThat looks pretty foul on a dish\u2014\nMight as well ask the waiter\nTo serve you a gator,\nIf a knobby-scaled critter you wish.", "id": 10669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's batter from which you can bake\nLoaves of bread on your plate, or a cake,\nBut in baseball, a batter's\nAt the plate, and it matters\nWhether pitches go straight, or they break.", "id": 10670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Afternoon is my favorite time.\nAfter watching the sun make its climb,\nSee it set towards the clover;\nWhen the yardarm it's over,\nI order my vodka and lime.", "id": 10671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The basement's my favorite place:\nDown the stairs, a commodious space\nTo play ping-pong or pool.\nWith my gal, as a rule,\nI just head for the couch and embrace.", "id": 10672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You can read in most health magazines\nWhat this ammoniuria means \u2014\nThat the smell of ammonia\nWill likely dethrone ya\nIf ever you pee in your jeans.", "id": 10673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All the amylenes, they're anesthetics,\nBut they're toxic and worse than pyretics;\nWritten C5H10\n(That's their formula). When\nYou have swallowed some, call for the medics.", "id": 10674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I traveled by donkey to bring\nAll my produce to market last spring,\nBut we ran out of luck\nAnd were hit by a truck;\nI came home with my ass in a sling.", "id": 10675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An action-type figure's a toy\nThat will make a fine gift for a boy,\nBut remember they're never\nCalled dolls; if you ever\nSay that you'll extinguish his joy.", "id": 10676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A babyish fellow named Mose\nWears a bib that he ties with two bows,\nAnd instead of a hankie,\nA little blue blankie\nHe carries wherever he goes.", "id": 10677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bathysphere's used to explore\nUnderwater biota, and more.\nIt's a large metal globe\u2014ya\nMight get claustrophobia\nAs you peer at the sea life offshore.", "id": 10679, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Do your cows become ill and abort,\nSo you fear that your herd will be short?\nThe vet's diagnosis:\nAcute brucellosis,\nOr Bang's disease, says his report.", "id": 10680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This canine did not wear a muzzle.\nHis name is in many a puzzle.\nFrom Nick, Asta'd get\nThe occasional pet,\nAnd from Nora the twice-a-day nuzzle.", "id": 10681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What are smooth, with the softness of heather?\n(Hint: barbicels hold them together.)\nAnd the answer is . . . wings!\nWhile what Barbasol brings\nIs a shave that is light as a feather.", "id": 10682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Tragedy felled Basquiat;\nThis poet and painter was hot.\nHis work, bright but meaty,\nBegan as graffiti;\nHe died of a heroin shot.", "id": 10683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am off to buy bait with my mate;\nWe'll go fishing\u2014the weather is great.\nFifteen  bucks for two worms?\nWhat unthinkable terms!\nGuess I'll wait for the price to abate.", "id": 10684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I find that my skunks have all fled,\nI'm afraid that they may end up dead,\nSo I search through the train\nTill I find them again;\nIn the bar car, they're sipping house red.", "id": 10685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The boss of our factory can't\nRaise the money to backfit our plant.\nSince our work's obsolete\nWe just cannot compete.\nShall we ever succeed?  No we shan't.", "id": 10686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I suffer from alginuresis;\nI pee, and the burning increases.\nMy doctor just said,\n\"Take these pills.  Go to bed,\nAnd remain there until the pain ceases.\"", "id": 10687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Barracoons may be visited, where\nMany captives were guarded with care,\nAnd prepared for their trips\n'Cross the ocean in ships.\nThey are relics of shame and despair.", "id": 10688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He said, \"Hey! Come and dine at my house,\nThough the meal is bare-bones.\"  But his spouse\nReally gives me a scare;\nWould she really serve bear?\nI would rather eat pheasant or grouse.", "id": 10689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Please pardon my manners, but Miss,\nI've acute basorexia.  This\nMost relentless condition\nDestroys inhibition\u2014\nA burning compulsion to kiss.", "id": 10690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Malaria isn't esthetic.\nThough for days you may be apyretic,\nChills and fevers return\nAnd your head starts to burn,\nAnd you tremble and call for a medic.", "id": 10691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's an herb that's a lollapalooza\nIf your favorite flowers are blues\u2014a\nShort bush with the blooms\nThat will brighten your rooms:\nIt's a plant of the genus Anchusa.", "id": 10692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since some microbes have found an oasis\nIn my bowel, I've made that the basis\nFor swearing on oath\nTo inhibit their growth;\nWhat I pledge is bacteriostasis.", "id": 10693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My order was bulky and large,\nSo the company shipped it by barge,\nBut the barge hit a buoy\nJust north of Saint Louis;\nNo way will I pay portage charge!", "id": 10694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since the growth of these germs is dramatic,\nMy response will be swift and emphatic.\nI'll thwart with elation\nTheir multiplication;\nI'll use a bacteriostatic.", "id": 10695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bloody Mary was brutal and mean.\nShe burned heretics\u2014quite a routine.\nNow that name is in use\nFor tomato-type juice\nMixed with vodka, and fit for a queen.", "id": 10696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That goshawk was really a pest;\nIt had followed me home to our nest.\nWhen my mate saw the hawk\nHe attacked with a squawk,\nA courageous but foolish beau geste.", "id": 10697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An unfortunate man named MacGregor\nWent from rising young yuppie to beggar\nAfter losing his cash\nIn a stock market crash,\nAnd from moderate drinker to kegger.", "id": 10698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Education's a great cornucopia;\nA degree is the key to utopia!\"\n(All I got from those crooks\nAs I pored over books\nWas a case of acute asthenopia.)", "id": 10699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When his friends call him backward, Jon sneers:\n\"I am very advanced in some spheres.\nWith my jigsaw techniques,\nI can do in six weeks\nPuzzles clearly marked '2-4 years'.\"", "id": 10701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Neath Beddgelert's great oak lies the grave\nOf true Gelert, a wolfhound most brave,\nWho wast slain by the sword\nOf his own wretched lord,\nTho' from death his lord's babe he didst save.", "id": 10702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"I think God uses bathrooms,\" sighed Claire,\n\"But it makes Daddy angry and swear.\nIf Mommy is slow\nWhen he's wanting to go,\nHe shouts, \"God! Whatcha doing in there!?\"", "id": 10703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It flows through the veins of banditos\nAnd blue bloods who sneer at burritos.\nIt sustains every beast,\nThis red boon and, not least,\nBlood is Nature's great gift to mosquitoes.", "id": 10704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper and Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "As a pig, I was nearly forsaken:\nWithout the blue ribbon, I'm bacon.\nCharlotte did me up big,\nIn her web, spun \"SOME PIG\",\nSaved my hide, but she left my heart achin'.", "id": 10706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Blenheim Palace (that's BLEN-uhm to you)\nIsn't cool as a pad, dude, it's true,\nBut it has got a claim\nOn hip Woodstock's great name \u2014\nAnd some Churchill guy lived there once, too.", "id": 10707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I blame escalators both for this metre\nAnd for making me late. I'm no bleater,\nBut I swear that the power\nWas cut off for an hour \u2014\nI got stuck on one, Boss. I'm no cheater.", "id": 10708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You object to me writing of sex\nAnd of thighs as they ripple and flex?\nWell, please take a hike\nOr be off on your bike!\nWith just what should I rhyme BMX?", "id": 10709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The blind mystic's monistic Synoptic,\nA panoptic synoptic in Coptic,\nWould thrill the eristic,\nTheistic, ill mystic,\nWere Copt cystic optics orthoptic.", "id": 10710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "From Betelgeuse, brandish, Orion!\nFrom Bellatrix, pelt of a lion!\nHis shoulders, stars streaming,\nOr (otherwise dreaming)\nHis draw, and a bow to let fly on.", "id": 10711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Drug tampering gives us a chill\nBy tainting the cure in a pill.\nA bumped blister pack,\nWith foil on the back,\nProtects us from that sort of ill.", "id": 10712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was poised and had calmness within,\nAnd a peace prize (Nobel) he would win,\nBut Prime Minister Begin\nWould curse like a pagan\nWhen anyone called him Begin.", "id": 10713, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They're delicious in jelly or jam,\nIn a drink or a sauce for a ham.\nThey're nutritious and sweet,\nAnd a great treat to eat.\nAm I selling black currants?  I am!", "id": 10714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joankay", "limerick": "Beth collected ten wrought-iron gates,\nAll acquired from eBay in  crates.\nShe opened the boxes\nOf palings and lockses,\nAnd ranged them about her estates.", "id": 10715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joankay", "limerick": "For rigging on ancient tall ships,\nA belaying pin helped with the grips.\nA sailor could cope\nWith all manner of rope\nLashing lines around pins on his trips.", "id": 10716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He is so apathetic, our Dwight,\nBullies can't ever goad him to fight.\nHe explains to each friend,\n\"It's not me they offend \u2014\nWhen my mum's called a whore, I say 'Quite.'\"", "id": 10717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My left eye just doesn't see right.\nIt's all blurred, even when there's strong light.\nDon't suggest that I'm dopey\nTo fear amblyopy,\nA serious weakness of sight.", "id": 10718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An amensalist pairing you've got\nWhen two creatures both live in one spot,\nTheir liaison unequal,\nNot sharing \u2014 the sequel:\nOne's harmed and the other is not.", "id": 10719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a necklace I really enjoyed\nWas appraised, I was really annoyed.\nGold with copper, combined \u2014\nI went out of my mind!\nYou could say that my pleasure's alloyed.", "id": 10720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A man and his dog in a barque\nThat was cut from a log in the park\nMay by night try to sneak,\nQuite unheard, up the creek,\nIf the dog doesn't bark in the dark.", "id": 10721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's a tale generations will tell:\nAbout Lady Godiva, a belle\nWho rode bareback, perforce,\nThrough the town on her horse,\nAnd was barebacked (barefronted as well).", "id": 10722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Is your window so dirty that we\nTry to use it, but simply can't see?\nWould you like to look through it?\nDon't know how to do it?\nAmmoniate  glass \u2014 that's the key.", "id": 10723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We pay farmers to quit growing crops\nAnd give loans to build housing and shops.\nPoliticians who vow\n\"Antisubsidy now!\"\nMight be out of a job if it stops.", "id": 10724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Like myriad words we now use,\nBiped's Latin, yet shouldn't confuse,\nFor it's simple and neat,\nAnd a noun that's complete,\nMeaning beasts with two feet (or two shoes).", "id": 10725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In Great Britain, 11 is more\nReminiscent of peace than of gore,\nFor at that exact time,\nDay, and month so sublime,\nCame the end of the bloody \"Great War\".", "id": 10726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "On Hawaii the lava's aflame\nAs observers, in awe, cry its name.\nWhen that molten rock's oozing\nDown paths of its choosing,\nIt's \"A'a!\" that tourists exclaim.", "id": 10727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The period's power's amazing!\nIt can bring to a grinding halt phrasing.\nSee! It's done it right there!\nCut me off in mid-air!\nIt's a stroppy full stop that I'm praising!", "id": 10728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When the Queen invites plebs to her place,\nBirthday honours are dished out apace.\nShe reproves, by her glare,\nSummoned subjects who wear\nBirthday suits, and they blush in disgrace.", "id": 10729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I shall improvise now and shall toy\nWith this word (and with you). I'll be coy.\nI shall keep on concealing\nBy only revealing:\nAutoschediasm's what I employ.", "id": 10730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Birds are creatures who purge from on high\nAs they flap, and they crap in my eye.\nThough they do make me mad,\nThey remind me I'm glad\nThat the featherless pig cannot fly.", "id": 10731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When the weather's too hot to wear hose,\nIn short shorts, her bare legs she'll expose.\nBareleggedly running,\nBeachgoing and sunning,\nShe's ogled for shortage of clothes.", "id": 10732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Amazement and wonder\u2014that's awe,\nDisplayed by a fully dropped jaw:\nAt lightning, loud thunder,\nCommand without blunder,\nOr watching Antarctica thaw.", "id": 10734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Want some gum?  Have a piece, it's on me.\nIt's my special deluxe ABC.\nOh, how terribly rude \u2014\nIt's already been chewed,\nBut it's savory, don't you agree?", "id": 10735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "And now spring has arrived, Nature's stirred.\n\"The bird's on the wing,\" I have heard.\nWell, that drives me insane.\nIf you have half a brain,\nThen you know that the wing's on the bird.", "id": 10736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I say yo, daddy-o, what's the scene?\nI am hip, baby, glean what I mean!\nI'm a beatnik on track\n(Thanks to Jack Kerouac).\nDig my stuck-in-the-fifties routine.", "id": 10738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "If your face is as oily as Pennzoil,\nWhat you need is a treatment with benzoyl.\nPeroxide, that is.\nBe you Mr. or Ms.,\nBuy some Clearasil.  Use it to cleanse oil.", "id": 10739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Baccalaureate degrees were required,\nSo I claimed a BA and was hired.\nDotting i's, crossing t's,\nThey said \"Show it now, please.\"\nSo I pulled down my pants and was fired.", "id": 10740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A dolly engaged in pure folly:\nShe rode on a tiger Bengali.\nHer smile, full of grace,\nCan be seen on the face\nOf the tiger, who dined on the dolly.", "id": 10741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A lumberjack opens a beer,\nTakes a drink, then collapses.  How queer!\nAnd what sickness assails him?\nThe suds are what ale's him!\nIt's lager this logger must fear.", "id": 10742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Off to work, and you thought you were cute \u2014\nSo demonic yet svelte in your suit.\nYou're from Indian myth;\nStill your boss said, \"Forthwith,\nYou are canned.\"  (Yup, the bhut got the boot.)", "id": 10743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Arrivederci: Italian goodbye.\nAdios is the Spanish reply.\nI'm sure you'll determine\nAuf Wiedersehen's German.\nAloha will serve on Kauai.", "id": 10744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "This absolute zero, I'm told,\nIs the coldest of marks to behold.\nThough I mean degrees K\n(It's the scientist's way),\nBoth in C and in F it's still cold.", "id": 10745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Big leaguer: It's every boy's dream\nTo play ball for his favorite team.\nAnd the boys who are older?\nThat dream will still smolder \u2014\nTheir eyes have that MVP gleam.", "id": 10746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Politicians may seem antitax,\nCampaigning, \"Give taxes the ax!\"\nYet once they're elected,\nAs might be expected,\nNew taxes start breaking our backs.", "id": 10747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Aerothermodynamics may look\nLike a word that could fill a small book,\nBut it's only the notion\nThat spacecraft in motion\nThrough air tend to heat till they cook.", "id": 10749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though cannibal shamans were fakes,\nThey prospered by treating mens' aches.\nNot a patient got cured,\nYet their failures ensured\nThey would seldom be faced with missed steaks.", "id": 10750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Of the climbers bewitched by Mt. Everest,\nIt's not just the strongest and cleverest\nWho give her their all \u2014\nFeeble fools, when they fall,\nIn the snows of Mt. Everest forever rest.", "id": 10751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I've been taught how to, use the small comma,\nBy my smart but, Ukrainian Momma,\nShe sprinkles, each line,\nWith cute, commas like mine,\nAnd says period means, monthly drama,", "id": 10752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It's been said of brave Baroness Thatcher\nThat three mortal men couldn't match her.\nWhen she once saw a mouse\nIn her Downing Street house,\nIt took six mortal men just to catch her.", "id": 10753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I'm articulative to a fault.\nIf I'm trying to say \"Pass the salt,\"\nI might ask, \"Please propel\nThat there NaCl\nTowards my plate 'til it comes to a halt.\"", "id": 10754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "In varnish, adhesive, and paint,\nThere are compounds to sicken a saint.\nThey cause great irritation\nAnd gross inflammation.\nAcrylic acids\u2014please use with restraint.", "id": 10755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "The pest named Dermestes lardarius\nIs a bug that is somewhat nefarious.\nWhat it most loves to eat\nAre old fruit and dried meat.\nBacon beetles are seldom hilarious.", "id": 10756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Economics, as taught in our courses,\nRelies upon free-market forces:\nWith supply and demand,\nSome invisible hand\nGuides the trading of shares on the bourses.", "id": 10757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "A huge problem occurs one sad day,\nAnd you're told, \"Fix it now! Don't delay!\"\nYour repair is so slack,\nThings are still out of whack.\nOh, the Band-Aid approach makes you pray.", "id": 10758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"The Apple Isle?  Part of Albania?\nOr a beach in northwest Lithuania?\"\n\"It's clear you've not read\nYour assignment,\" she said,\n\"Or you'd know it's a name for Tasmania.\"", "id": 10759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Sir Galahad cried out in panic\nWhile jousting with rivals germanic:\n\"I've a chink in my mail!\nFetch me one arming nail,\nAnd an excellent armor mechanic!\"", "id": 10760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With your limerick stresses askew,\nWhat will Samurai Meter Maid do?\nWith one swing of her blade,\nThat's a haiku she's made!\nOh, but wait\u2014there's one syllab- too few.", "id": 10761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "From snowstorms we're shifting our focus.\nRainy April's beginning to soak us.\nOur garden's the locus\nOf spring hocus-pocus:\nThe magical surge of the crocus.", "id": 10762, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In underground caves swim the blindfish\u2014\nNot a place I expected to find fish.\nThey've diminutive size\nAnd vestigial eyes.\nI'll admit I've seen better designed fish.", "id": 10763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I've been down in the woods, busy blazing.\nBut don't think I've been fire-raising;\nThe word can mean, you see,\nMaking marks on a tree.\nYes, English is simply amazing.", "id": 10764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The verse-writing program I've bought,\nFor Windows, won't work as it should;\nTill the end of the line\nIt works perfectly well,\nBut the last word won't be what you expected.", "id": 10765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "OEDILF provides standards and guidelines.\nJoin in, don't just sit on the sidelines.\nGood rhymes, jokes, and meter?\nYour limerick's much sweeter!", "id": 10766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "\"Of what use is an ore that's bauxitic?\"\nBerthier answered back to a critic,\n\"To make pots, and make pans\nAnd aluminum cans\nAnd replacements for hip joints arthritic!\"", "id": 10767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Said Ben Franklin, with typical candor,\nAbout being a traitorous bander,\n\"No matter the weather,\nWe must hang together,\nOr separately do so, commander.\"", "id": 10768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Barcelona's a chair (now you know)\nMade by famed Ludwig Mies van der Rohe.\nLeather cushions and steel,\nIt has great eye appeal\nAnd in '29, quite stole the show.", "id": 10769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The achenial sunflower seed\nIs a wonderful product, indeed.\nWhat we think is the shell\nIs a fruit just as well,\nBut it's dry and it's thin-walled, agreed?", "id": 10770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If your son took a shot at a foe\nOr your daughter got drunk with her beau,\nAnd you weren't even there,\nThe policeman won't care:\nAs a parent you're answerable. D'oh!", "id": 10771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "It is true, I would anger my mother.\nI just loved to beat up on my brother:\nTickle, slap, smack, and choke,\nCudgel, whack, hit, and poke,\nTruncheon, punch, kick, brass-knuckle, and smother.", "id": 10772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When you leave someone out of the loop;\nOr tell tales, tattle, rat out and snoop;\nOr are lacking the grace\nTo converse face-to-face,\nYou're a rotten \"behind one's back\" poop!", "id": 10774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "See that chick in the Jag? What a witch!\nThere just ain't any bitchier bitch.\nAnd she bitchily knows\nThat her bitchiness shows,\n'Cause she just ran me into a ditch!", "id": 10775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "There is one thing you want to avoid\nWhen you get an old copper annoyed:\nDon't rely just on luck,\nBut remember to duck\nWhile his billy club's being employed.", "id": 10776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "There once was a laddie named Sutton\nWho binged on a mountain of mutton.\nAte the loin (did not stop);\nThe rib, saddle, and chop;\nAnd the shoulder and haunch\u2014what a glutton!", "id": 10777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I dated two girls with anaudia\n(Jolene and her step-sister Claudia).\nNeither cutie could speak,\nBut my knees still get weak\nWhen I think of those times in their Audi\u2014ah!", "id": 10778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Learned linguists, those experts and nerds,\nWill say avine for \"dealing with birds.\"\nThese pretentious few who\nSimple word-use eschew\nWould say feces when I would say turds.", "id": 10779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When the active's the form of your voice,\nThen you make a grammatical choice.\nSay: \"My Rolls-Royce was nicked\",\nAnd the passive was picked.\nRather, utter: \"They nicked my Rolls-Royce!\"", "id": 10780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Nearly ev'ry damn song you can play\nThat was written way back in the day\nBegins with a terse\nIntroductory verse,\nThen after goes AABA.", "id": 10781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David and sigg", "limerick": "Axonometry's used quite a lot\nTo draw shapes that are tricky to plot,\nFor it takes 3D matter\nAnd renders it flatter \u2014\nLike a steamrollered pussy (mein Gott!).", "id": 10782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "They looked at the fin that was trailing\nAnd observed that the bilge pump was failing.\n\"It seems that our boat\nIs now ceasing to float\nSo we'd best use a pail and start bailing.\"", "id": 10783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "His elbows are constantly flickin'\nAnd his feet are perpetually kickin'.\nWith my bedmate I fight\nAs I'm turning all night\nJust like a rotisserie chicken.", "id": 10784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "My six-year-old son's a bed wetter,\nAnd nothing I do makes it better.\nI've been charging him fees\nEvery time that he pees,\nSo now he's a six-year-old debtor.", "id": 10785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "The eight ball is what you're behind\nWhen you've gotten yourself in a bind \u2014\nWhen you hear your wife's sighs,\nAnd you then realize\nThat her birthday, in fact, slipped your mind.", "id": 10786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "You can order it in a caf\u00e9,\nBut a much more enjoyable way\nIs to fix it yourself\nIf you've got on your shelf\nYour own blowtorch to make cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e.", "id": 10787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "When you see that your skin color's true\nWith no hint there of anything blue,\nBuddy, don't be neurotic\u2014\nYou're acyanotic.\nThe O2 in your bloodstream gets through.", "id": 10788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If you run a big firm, you're the skipper,\nAnd one day, while you're feeling quite chipper,\nYou go buy a new biz,\nSell its parts in a whiz;\nEven clothed, you're a fine asset stripper.", "id": 10789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "You look deep in the sky from your car.\nSomething small twinkles there from afar.\nAstronomical light\nThat you see in the night\nIs an astral appearance, a star.", "id": 10790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "To his madam, those strange parts of Adam\nFulfilled not the reason he had 'em.\nWith his third rib torn free,\nEve reflected that he\nMight have had 'em had Adam had madam.", "id": 10791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Said the carpenter, southern in drawl,\n\"I've got pointers for hole-making, y'all:\n Take this pointy device,\n Poke the wood real nice,\nAnd be sure that you give it your awl.\"", "id": 10792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "It is hard that a parent may leave you,\nAs the loss of their life may bereave you.\n It is terribly sad\n To lose mother or dad,\nBecause they were the ones to conceive you.", "id": 10793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ancient weapons are dear to my heart,\nLike this arquebus (old guns look smart),\n Or the good old atlatl\n (With stops that are glottal),\nA stick that can throw a long dart.", "id": 10794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Bimillennial comets appear\nOnly once every two-thousandth year.\n If you don't take a glance\n Then you've missed your one chance,\nSo watch out as the due date draws near.", "id": 10795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Abase once meant \"bring to the floor\",\nBut that meaning's not used anymore.\n When abased, just stand tall,\n Though your face will still fall,\nAs your rank and esteem become poor.", "id": 10796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The runner looked safe at the bag,\nBut the ump yelled, \"Yer out!\" \u2014 what a drag!\nAnd to hoots of derision\nSaid, \"Absent precision,\nA tag in the ballpark's a tag.\"", "id": 10797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To show axiomatic completeness\nIs a kind of mathematical neatness.\nKurt G\u00f6del averred,\n\"Completeness? Absurd!\"\nIn a proof that is famed for its sweetness.", "id": 10798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "If my hon and I don't have a gun\nAnd a bear has us both on the run,\nMy survival technique\nIsn't fancy; I'll seek\nTo outrun not the bear, but my hon.", "id": 10799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "\"She's adrift!\" said the captain, aghast.\nThe anchor that held his boat fast\nHad failed, to his shock.\nNow he stood on the dock\nAnd he searched, quite in vain, for his mast.", "id": 10800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The husband and wife might be wed,\nBut their marriage is virtually dead.\nIt cannot be patched.\nBy law they're attached\n(But only attached by a thread).", "id": 10801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "Agnostic folks share a proclivity\nFor secular Christmas activity.\nThey'll party all day,\nNot bother to pray,\nAnd prob'ly eschew the Nativity.", "id": 10802, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "J.S. Bach is well-known for cantatas,\nOratorios, suites and sonatas.\nAnd of course we revere\nThe Well-Tempered Clavier,\nPlus his myriad fugues and toccatas!", "id": 10803, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A small-county Justice apprises\nHis jurors, \"A problem arises:\nThey're upping the charge \u2014\nThis suit's much too large;\nI'll try it in different Assizes.\"", "id": 10804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An accomplished high-climber faced thirst,\nAnd his lungs, starved of air, nearly burst.\nWith one painful last drag,\nHe surmounted that crag \u2014\nBut nine Girl Guides had reached the top first.", "id": 10805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I'm a bell-ringer now! Yes, today\nSome galoot with the key walked away,\nAnd we're left in the lurch\nWrongly jailed in this church!\nWhat else can I do? Should we pray?", "id": 10806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Because limerick writers tease Sioux\nBy misspelling Sioux words like canioux,\nThey abhor our twee rhymes,\nAnd have warned me three times\nThat the tomahawk's used by Sioux tioux.", "id": 10807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As an author of verses, I face\nThe revenge of odd rogues I disgrace,\nSo I'll make it quite clear\nThat the parts I hold dear\nHave been moved to a safe secret place.", "id": 10808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An abhorrent old heiress named Piper\nDisgustingly dirtied her diaper,\nYet nobody fussed \u2014\nWell, in fact, there was just\nOne old griper, that viper, her wiper.", "id": 10809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The rude moppet would stifle his shrieks\nWhen exposed to the kisses and tweaks\nThat his doting blind aunt\nWould unseeingly plant\nOn his wickedly offered wrong cheeks.", "id": 10810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "While the eagle still swoops when he shrieks\nAnd still banks to the max when he streaks,\nBecause humans now fly,\nHe's a little too shy\nTo rehearse aerobatic techniques.", "id": 10811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Prepahs yruo'e azmead taht tihs mses\nSmees so esay to raed thguoh it's lses\nLkie rael Esnlgih tahn Siuox?\nScrbalnmig wdors, lanevig two\nOuetr ltertes, wlil csaue no dsritses.", "id": 10813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Accustomedness looks quite absurd,\nAnd it sounds pretty weird when it's heard.\nIt is something I don't\n(And quite probably won't)\nEver feel for this horrible word.", "id": 10814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My accounts are long since in the red,\nI've made firewood of table and bed,\nAll my assets are sold,\nI've no silver, no gold:\nI am bankrupt.  Your bill won't get paid.", "id": 10815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You will first need some practice: say \"gray as\".\nOkay, now you can meet Ahimaaz,\nA very brave priest\nWhom we can't in the least\nAn old cowardly custard portray as.", "id": 10816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A lady whose woes seemed to never end\nSought help from her ardent young reverend.\nShe was careful, I hear,\nTo make something quite clear:\nShe sought input from only his clever end.", "id": 10817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When a comic strip character's cry\nIs rendered \"boo hoo\", here is why:\nIt's because a cartoon's\nConversation balloons\nCannot mimic such sounds; alas (sigh).", "id": 10818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Down the street there's a dog that's named Benjy;\nHe belongs to the breed called basenji.\nHis demeanor transcends\nA mere \"best of man's friends\"\nBut his bark needs a sign saying \"N.G.\"", "id": 10819, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hermez", "limerick": "In baseball, the goal's to have fun,\nBut that's not always how it gets done.\nOften rules are avoided\nAnd players steroided,\nSo basely's how some games are won.", "id": 10820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The musician, while playing page nine,\nRead \"Dal Segno\", went back to the sign;\nHe continued to blow da\nBassoon 'til \"al coda\";\nThen played out ad finem just fine.", "id": 10821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I got horribly hurt in the war, so\nMuch more so than ever before, so\nThey barely could save me,\nAnd that's why they gave me\nA biomechanical torso.", "id": 10822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I'm often enthralled and beguiled\nBy weather that's violent and wild,\nBut round here, as it were,\nI would clearly prefer\nTo have balminess, pleasant and mild.", "id": 10823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "I'm ashamed (it's an utter disgrace)\nOf the thing that I did in that place.\nI'd forgotten to flush,\nWhich is why I now blush;\nNo, don't look, I'm all red in the face.", "id": 10824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "In bed, on the floor, in a chair,\nBe it nude or in nice underwear,\nTry erotism allo\n(Alone is so callow),\n'Cause sex is more fun in a pair.", "id": 10825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My airsickness started, it's said,\nWhen my dad threw me over his head.\nAs a toddler (just three)\nBeing tossed, I went \"Whee!\"\nAnd then barfed all the food I'd been fed.", "id": 10826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "You can see, from your passing canoe,\nThere's a boy who is looking at you.\nOn a banjo he's twanging\n(Please excuse my haranguing);\nDeliverance, maybe, is due.", "id": 10827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "We asked that the augur predict\nWho might, for town council, be picked.\nBut the wise old soothsayer\nWas also the mayor,\nElecting a silence most strict.", "id": 10828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "In grade seven, my puberty-torn,\nCracking vocals elicited scorn.\nBut my instrument choice\nHad a fairly deep voice:\nBaby tuba, the baritone horn.", "id": 10829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet and speedysnail", "limerick": "There once was a scary-eyed humanoid\nWho was, he would constantly fume, annoyed;\nHis eyes, although round,\nLacked a protein that's found\nWithin egg whites: \"They just ain't albuminoid!\"", "id": 10830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The portrait he made of my sister\nHad her clothing all painted in bister.\n\"It's a dull yellow-brown,\"\nI remarked with a frown,\n\"Dressed in red, 'twould be hard to resist her.\"", "id": 10831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "There's no need for this shock and dismay;\nI do love you, but not in that way.\n Though your jaw's still agape,\n My love's not sex (or rape),\nBut spiritual love \u2014 agape.", "id": 10832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His objective with Beatrice was breeding.\nNeath her beading, he thought about seeding.\nWould she let him proceed?\nDid she, too, want to breed?\nOn his forehead the sweat began beading.", "id": 10833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "With accolated (overlapped) spacing,\nOur profiles look wonderful gracing\nThis lovely Italian\nPure silver medallion.\nWe are, nonetheless, self-effacing.", "id": 10834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My attorney's ad unguem advice\nIs exacting, complete, and precise.\nLegal practice entails\nMore than manicured nails,\nThough his are, to be fair, very nice.", "id": 10835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A laundry professor from Brighton\nWrote a paper he hoped would enlighten:\n\"On the Role of White Shorts\nIn the Spectator Sports:\nAlbificative Agents Can Whiten.\"", "id": 10836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In matters of style, she's contrarian\u2014\nShe's dressed like a dowdy librarian!\nA designer who knows her\nInsists she's a poser:\nThe ultimate attitudinarian.", "id": 10837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Algerine can mean simply \"Algerian\";\nOr \"a pirate\" (a different criterion);\nOr a fabric I'm certain\nWould make a nice curtain\u2014\nIt sounds altogether Shakespearean!", "id": 10838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "At the Ashram & Grill in Muskogee,\nBuy a large vegetarian hoagie\nOr a shrimp chimichanga,\nAnd learn a new anga\nFor free from a certified yogi.", "id": 10839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "That young lady who seems to be winking\nIsn't really flirtatious, I'm thinking.\nThat's blepharospasm\n(My grandmother has 'em):\nSpasmodic, repetitive blinking.", "id": 10840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Berdache rather crudely describes\nWhat in most North American tribes\nWas a person whose gender\nWas harder to render\nIn accurate terms than in gibes.", "id": 10841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My bipolar disorder's incessant:\nWhen depressed, I'm inert and quiescent.\nThen poof goes my dolor\u2014\nA mighty high roller\nAm I! On a high! Effervescent!", "id": 10842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The view of creation in bib-\nlicism (to be rather glib)\nMight go far to explain\nWhy the masculine brain\nFavors women and also prime rib.", "id": 10843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There is little, if anything, lower\nThan he who behaves like a blower.\nIf braggarts should roast\nDown in hell, they would boast\nThe rotisserie they're on goes slower.", "id": 10844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Every arillate (ariled) plant needs\nFleshy bright-colored covers for seeds.\nYou can eat the yew's arils.\nBut ackee's imperils\nThrough dumb dietetical deeds.", "id": 10845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "An old pensioner living in Leeds\nStudied beadwork, then covered with beads\nEverything in his house.\nSaid his put-upon spouse,\n\"Dear, that's not what our toilet seat needs.\"", "id": 10846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A reliable Bible's for preaching;\nThe reps need some yeps when impeaching.\nThere's many a trade\nThat makes use of an aid\u2014\nLike my handout's a standout for teaching.", "id": 10847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "After 13 March '38 came,\nWhat was Austria wasn't the same.\nFor the Anschluss was made\u2014\nAfter that, I'm afraid\nThat the country shared Germany's name.", "id": 10848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As a ham, I give thanks in a prayer\nTo the F (or the Appleton) Layer,\n'Cause it helps me reflect,\nThough I've come to suspect\nThat a phone is a better conveyer.", "id": 10849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Hash prices are running amuck\u2014\nBut today, dear sahib, you're in luck!\nHere at Bud's Ganj-A-Rama\n(Low prices! No drama!)\nWe give you more bhang for your buck!", "id": 10850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Step one: Find a colourful dye.\nStep two: Find some cells.  Then apply.\nAny part that stays clear\nSays \"Achromatin here!\"\nStep three:  That's the end.  Now goodbye.", "id": 10851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Risking bias, they based their projections\nOn stratified random selections\nOf registered voters\nAt Land Rover Motors'\nNew showroom, with perfect complexions.", "id": 10852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "When the hook is correctly aligned,\nPut some stitches in front, then behind.\nSome say it's pass\u00e9,\nBut I like to crochet,\nAnd the basket weave texture's refined.", "id": 10853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Sir, the Japanese soldiers are back;\nAnd preparing a banzai attack!\"\nSays my spy, \"Sharp-Eyed\" Bond.\n\"You're half-blind!\" I respond.\n(And he is: in Bond's eye is a tack.)", "id": 10854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The bagpipe emits a weird moan\nFrom its chanter, its bag and its drone:\nYet I know that one Scot\nLikes this strange sound a lot \u2014\nHe's made it his mobile's ring-tone.", "id": 10855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A grumpy old man of Berlin\nThought Wagner a terrible din:\nSo he couldn't endure a\nSingle bar of Walk\u00fcre,\n\"And as for that dire Lo-hen-grin\u2026!\"", "id": 10856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "It's a sea-slug that people prepare\nAs food (in East Asia somewhere).\nIt's a language as well;\nWhat might be, can you tell,\nB\u00eache-de-Mer for the word b\u00eache-de-mer?", "id": 10857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "One finds the aerobium thriving,\nWhilst walking, or running, or driving.\nThese germs can't cause flu,\nAnd one thing that they do\nNeed is O2 to keep on surviving.", "id": 10859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "A barkantine, schooner, and cutter\nAre at sea with their sails all aflutter.\nTheir first mates all shout\n\"Reef 'em in! Let them out!\"\nAnd \"What are ya, mate? Some kinda nutter?\"", "id": 10860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The brave Boers fought the British in khaki,\nWhile the Brits wore their redcoats (so tacky).\nIn the first of these wars,\nThe win went to the Boers,\nBut the Brits won the rematch, by cracky!", "id": 10861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "The abdominal cavity space\nHolds your guts in one tight compact place.\nLarge intestine and small,\nStomach, liver, and all,\nAre enclosed in this visceral case.", "id": 10862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PatrickLucas and mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you fail to secure your computer,\nThen your files might be gone when you boot 'er.\nIf you open an app\nWith a backdoor or trap,\nThen a hacker could break in and loot 'er!", "id": 10863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "That memo\u2014just send it ASAP!\nDon't dawdle, and don't take a nap.\nIt needs to be sent\n'Fore a cent can be spent\nOn our house (AKA money trap).", "id": 10864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "All the well turned-out dandies you've seen\nLike to keep their coiffure looking mean.\nNowadays such a fellow\nUses something like jello,\nWhereas once he'd have used bandoline.", "id": 10865, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "'Neath a banyan tree, Buddha once sat\nAwaiting enlightenment. That\nAssured fig, once thought lowly,\nBecame at once holy,\nMajestic with aerial mat.", "id": 10866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As soon as it's possible, send\nThat contract to Fred to amend\nHis agreement with Mark,\nWho is waiting (that shark!)\nTo extend him more credit to spend.", "id": 10868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Don't be cryptic; just say what you mean.\nKeep your words and your sentences lean.\nFor a dose to allay\nVenom's damage, just say\nAntivenin, not antivenene.", "id": 10869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You like bacon, but don't care for fat?\nWe Canucks have an answer for that:\nTry some back bacon, eh?\n(Other names are pass\u00e9,\nSo Canadian bacon falls flat.)", "id": 10870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A baker was going to go\nSlowly bankrupt if he couldn't show\nA profit once more,\nSo a sign in his store\nRead, \"Buy bread, for I sure knead the dough.\"", "id": 10871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "An arsonist's fire bomb was tossed\nAnd the shoe store was burned at a cost.\nWhat this tragedy brings\nIs the saddest of things\u2014\nOver two hundred soles have been lost.", "id": 10872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "The vets found a drug that they say\nWill be harmless to dogs, and it may\nKeep them quiet at night.\nNo more moon-howling rite\u2014\nEvery dog, now, may not have his bay.", "id": 10873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "To bake her own bread she would try,\nBut her failure would cause her to cry.\nShe ran out of wheat\nWhile making her treat,\nSo the loaf went completely awry.", "id": 10874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "The nudist considers it wise\nTo expose what we wish he'd aguise.\nBut as well as our skins,\nThere may be certain sins\nThat a loose-fitting outfit belies.", "id": 10875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "A housewife, on finding a borer,\nMight think, \"Here's a poor lone explorer.\"\nBut wood-munching bugs\nAren't loners, like slugs.\nThey invite the whole family.  Oh, horror!", "id": 10876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Made of raffia, woven with care\nTo allow constant access to air,\nMy big clothes basket's store\nIs tomatoes galore\nWrapped in newsprint, \"vine-ripening\" there.", "id": 10877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Half a decade I gatekept this floor,\nBut now downsizing's shown me the door.\nAlthough everyone's kind,\nIt is startling to find\nThat my bailiwick's gone\u2014mine no more.", "id": 10878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "In this blasphemous world, Left and Right\nTwist religion to prove what they cite.\nFrom Vishnu to Jesus,\nThe gods want to please us,\nBut not until man sees the light.", "id": 10879, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "You should start with a nicely tilled lot\nOr your bellflower garden will rot.\nAs you know, they don't ring,\nBut when grown right, will bring\nLovely color and scent to your plot.", "id": 10880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If you publish a book in Azeri,\nYou will find that the alphabets vary:\nWhereas Azerbaijan\nHas Cyrillic, Iran\nUses Arabic. Printers, be wary!", "id": 10881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Aides-de-camp must respond to the call\nOf their more senior officers \u2014 all\nOf their whims, each desire,\n'Til the big-wigs retire,\nEven personal trips to the mall.", "id": 10882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "The British, the Russians, the Yanks \u2014\n'Gainst the Germans they rallied their tanks.\nWorld War I, World War II,\nAnd we hope that will do:\nWe've had more than enough world wars, thanks.", "id": 10883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "That guy's got a whole lot of pals,\nBut you'll notice there aren't any gals.\nAndrophilic is he.\nHe likes \"he\" over \"she\" \u2014\nA sexist with no rationales.", "id": 10884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "In this world, if you hope to get by,\nYou'll find that it's best to ally\nWith folks in high places\nAnd those whose good graces\nExist in abundant supply.", "id": 10885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "If your aim is impressing the girls,\nThen be careful selecting their pearls.\nYou'll be seen as a joke\nIf your gift is baroque.\nA misshapen adornment's for churls.", "id": 10886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "When given some fact anecdotally\nDon't buy all this new data totally.\nThat the story is true\nAs they've told it to you\nDoesn't mean it applies intermodally.", "id": 10887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We have similar looks, me and Ike;\nCorresponding; resemblant; alike.\nIt's a cross I can't bear,\nThough I doubt I would care\nIf he wasn't a Pollicle tyke.", "id": 10888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "There were plenty of laws in the books\nAbrogated by powerful crooks.\nThey had donated cash\nTo campaigns that would slash\nAll reforms from all corners and nooks.", "id": 10889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "\"Get lost!\" she implored through the jamb.\n\"But I love you, my shy little lamb!\"\nShe had locked herself in;\nSo with one sheepish grin,\nI assembled my battering ram.", "id": 10890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Byraz", "limerick": "The German historian Schlegel\nConsidered the cinnamon bagel\nRegrettably crude,\nDialectical food,\nFit only for thinkers like Hegel.", "id": 10891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "A bacteriotherapy gaffe\nLeft the invalid sicker by half.\nSeems the doc chose a germ\nThat had nurses affirm,\n\"He's the hospital's new Chief of Staph.\"", "id": 10892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The sea's backset can sure set you back.\nIt's an eddy that packs quite a smack,\nFor it flows back to front.\nIt's a huge current shunt.\nIt means  \"setback\", too?  Man, that's just wack!", "id": 10893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Though it's helpful, bacteriostat\nIsn't able to make germs go Splat!\nSo the best it can do\nTo protect me and you\nIs to keep them at bay, and that's that.", "id": 10894, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "You would think that with all of this rain\nWe'd be flooded again \u2014 what a pain!\nBut it all flows away\nUnder gravity's sway.\nThank the heavens for basinal drain.", "id": 10895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The security fence of our nation\nLies in bioattack preparation.\nIf we have a staph meeting,\nWill our men take a beating\nOr defend against bacterization?", "id": 10896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Mentioned Ernie while eating dessert,\n\"I just noticed these rather overt\nSmall arbuscules that grow\nFrom our heads. Did you know\nThat means 'tufts of hair', Ol' Buddy Bert?\"", "id": 10897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Acrologically speaking, I'm \"Mike\nIndescribably Charlatan Hike\nAntiquarian Earth\nLilliputian\" by birth.\nYou can just call me \"Mike\", if you like.", "id": 10898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "South of Danube, and Kupa, and Sava,\nAnd formed of primordial lava,\nLies the Balkan expanse.\nThe Brits took a big chance\nOn Black Sea's other side, Balaklava.", "id": 10899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "For men with more muscle than charm,\nThe biceps are parts of each arm\nThat are often displayed\nAs a visual aid\nTo those they would like to alarm.", "id": 10900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "A gullible tourist named Rita\nWas eating a sandwich on pita.\nThe waiter said \"Ma'am,\nYou're enjoying the lamb?\"\nBut he knew it was really Akita.", "id": 10901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "An androgenetic conception\nIs fatally flawed from inception.\nIt's forced to begin\nWith no yang for its yin,\nA decidedly tragic exception.", "id": 10902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Barbituric is acid so mellow.\n(It's a downer precursor, old fellow.)\nTake pyrimidine, see,\nAnd then tack on O3.\nAnd get malonylurea, not Jell-O.", "id": 10903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The banzai charge came off just as planned,\nAll at once, at the colonel's command;\nAnd so, \"Ten thousand years!\"\nCame their chorus of cheers\nAs they raced along over the sand.", "id": 10904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Way, way down in the oceans so bathic\nSwims a guy who is quite telepathic.\nHe calls to the fishes,\nWho do what he wishes.\nHe is Aquaman, drawn eurygnathic.", "id": 10905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An arbuscula's shaped like a tree,\nBut it might be a shrub, mon ami,\nOr a really small oak.\nNo, it's not just a joke;\nAsk a bonsai fanatic and see.", "id": 10906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Anchovies: delicious small fishes\nThat people include in some dishes.\nThey have strong salty flavour\nThat many folks savour.\nOn pizza, though, not what I wishes.", "id": 10907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "It's where Canada's cattlemen toil\nAnd miners check tar sands for oil.\nIt's where prairies of wheat\nAnd the tall Rockies meet.\nAll are found on Alberta's rich soil.", "id": 10908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A vintner from Piedmont named Polo\nHad plenty of grapes called nebbiolo.\nHe let them ferment\nInto wine heaven-sent\nAnd then labeled the bottles \"Barolo\".", "id": 10909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The rebels decided to tell 'em\n\"Yield Sumter\", or else they would shell 'em.\nSo war would descend,\nAnd thus bring to an end\nThe era we call antebellum.", "id": 10910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "For a present I gave dear Petronia\nA flowering yellow amsonia.\nShe said with a tear,\n\"But it's 'screwstem' my dear.\nIt's an annual known as bartonia.\"", "id": 10911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The story of Banting and Best?\nTheir experiments, made with great zest,\nCame from people's entreaties\nTo cure diabetes;\nAnd insulin came from that quest.", "id": 10912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the old-time American West,\nIf you caught a bad cold in the chest\nThat was causing you grief,\nYou would pine for relief\nAnd so abietene's what you'd ingest.", "id": 10913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "A Samoan man threw a thick blanket\nOf this pepper root into a tank: it\nWas crushed to a juice,\nLiquor made \u2014 its main use!\nHe became very stoned when he drank it.", "id": 10914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "\"It's Balsamic, this vinegar? Good!\nHow'd you make it?\" some ask (as they should).\nI reply, \"How I wish\nI'd used grapes in the dish!\nIt's not easy to stomp balsa wood.\"", "id": 10915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "When you're up on the dance floor, and proving\nJust how little you know about moving,\nIt's the way your limbs prance\nVoluntarily: dance\nIs your autokinesis \u2014 you're grooving!", "id": 10916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "When the priceless Picasso was took,\nThey set out to discover the crook.\nI declared, \"Wasn't me!\"\nSolid alibi, see.\nI was stealing The Scream \u2014 piece of luck!", "id": 10917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "My doctor cares not, I suppose.\nHe's aloof to my pains and my woes.\n\"Doc, I've got a bad cough!\nAnd my leg's fallen off!\"\n\"Oh, grow up!\" he says. \"That's cured your toes.\"", "id": 10918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "If your blood pressure meter is vaulting,\nThere's a risk of your arteries faulting.\nOn the road to prevention\nOf much hypertension:\nStop frying, and smoking, and salting.", "id": 10919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "They're balsam and turpentine's source;\nTheir wood many whittlers endorse,\nAnd at Yuletide their green\nIn our homes may be seen.\n(Yep, they're Abies: fir trees, of course.)", "id": 10920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If you're searching for homonyms, look\nAt The Fisherman's Opera Book;\nYou'll find: \"Males who sing low\nAre called basses, although\nOther basses are fish one can cook.\"", "id": 10921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "Though each of them has but one cell,\nA bacterium's growth can be hell.\nTo inhibit this spreading,\nUse chemical bedding:\nBacteriostasis is swell.", "id": 10922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When a chap finds himself affianced,\nHe might feel he's gone soft in the bonce.\nWhat he needs is a Jeeves\nWho adroitly conceives\nOf some way to break free for the nonce.", "id": 10923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "If you don't like the things that are done,\nOr the way that the country is run \u2014\nThen perhaps the solution\nIs rash revolution:\nAbrogation by use of the gun!", "id": 10924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Though the corpse may be long underground\nThere's still plenty of life to be found:\nThere are worms and bacteria\nBoth ext- and interior \u2014\nAbiosis you cannot propound.", "id": 10925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Barehanded, he chose to combat\nThe bear that had stolen his hat.\nSo, bareheaded, he gained\nBack the hat as it rained\nWhile the barefooted bear snared a spat.", "id": 10926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Helminthologists surely confirm\nThat an acanthocephalan worm,\nThough remarkably tiny\n(With proboscis that's spiny),\nCan cause your intestine to squirm.", "id": 10927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When seized by a strong self-effacement\nOr lacking acceptable placement,\nIt's time for a fella\nTo descend to the cellar\nAnd spend some time feeling abasement.", "id": 10928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A glib Hypocritical Oath\nIs affirmed by some doctors who're loath\nTo regard humdrum healing\nAs quite so appealing\nAs wealth in the pledging of troth.", "id": 10929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "The absorption rate had been quite high\nOn some land that I just had to buy.\nBut the market since fell\nAnd right now I can't tell\nIf that land can be sold ere I die.", "id": 10930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You need azimuth and elevation\nFor heavenly object location.\nMake certain to wangle\nA height and an angle,\nOr stargazing ends in frustration.", "id": 10931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "The distraught Cajun chef cried out, \"Phooey!\nMy dishes need sausage that's chewy.\nI'd load up my fork\nWith hot chilis and pork\nIf I only could find good andouille.\"", "id": 10932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To anele is an action a priest\nDoesn't mind, as a rite, in the least.\nIt means \"to anoint,\"\nAnd it comes at the point\nAs one dies and is blessed for God's feast.", "id": 10933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A misanthrope's lifelong revulsion\nTo crowds made him choose self-expulsion.\nHe was seen with a frown\nWhen well inside the town\nHis home moved\u2014from the river's avulsion!", "id": 10934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Like burglars that strike in the night,\nInsurers won't pay for my plight;\nI am loath to report\nThat I'm going to court:\nBereft if I cannot be right.", "id": 10935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If you've poisons on hand, you'd be wise\nTo be versed in what labels advise.\nIf you've snakes (and you're near 'em),\nMaintain a good serum:\nYou need antipharmic supplies.", "id": 10936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There's morphine or codeine, for pain,\nAnd caffeine to fix up my brain.\nAlkalometry measures\nThe dose of these pleasures\n(Enough can be hard to obtain).", "id": 10937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "To Christians, the gulf is abysmal\nThat keeps them from God. The baptismal\nSolution's a prayer\nAnd a wet head of hair:\nNow their chance of salvation's less dismal.", "id": 10938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "In our seats, to the music we sway.\nOn the stage, dancers twirl and jet\u00e9.\nEvery bend at the knees\nIs intended to please.\nAfter all, we are at the ballet.", "id": 10939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Baden-Baden, a well-known small city\nAt the Black Forest's rim, is so pretty:\nGood for hiker and rambler,\nMountain-biker and gambler\u2014\nBut they might lose their money there\u2014pity!", "id": 10940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "If your blood's rich in purines, no doubt\nUric acid might crystallize out;\nMany small solid grains\nMight cause horrible pains:\nAllopurinol saves you from gout.", "id": 10941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The aubergine: edible fruit;\nFrom the French, its linguistical root\n(Latin: S. esculentum);\nGives cuisine more momentum\nFor life-long \"keep fitter\"-pursuit.", "id": 10942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "These ants are such small, busy creatures.\nAs insects with typical features,\nThey live in their hills\nAnd display stunning skills.\nYou want more? Ask biology teachers.", "id": 10943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Important affairs, when commercial\nOr public, may be controversial.\nJust the same may be true\nOf a love affair, too,\nSo the married would best stay inertial.", "id": 10944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Anglizismen in German are trendy:\nHere my mobile phone's simply: Mein Handy.\nWe have Limerick-Queen,\nAnd we sit at the Screen,\nOrder Tickets or chocolate and Brandy.", "id": 10945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "The anorak: style for Norwegians,\nAnd it insulates Eskimo legions.\nIt has long furry trim\nFor when weather is grim,\nThus warming remote polar regions!", "id": 10946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "That great place the American's from\nAlways puzzles the marvelling Pom.\nPoms (or Limeys, whatever)\nHave seldom, if ever,\nCraved apple pie, baseball, or Mom.", "id": 10947, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The baboon, that old red-bottomed goon,\nIs as mad as a coot in mid-June.\nHe is grumblingly grumpy\nAnd cravenly jumpy \u2014\nShout b-boo 'n he'll fall in a swoon.", "id": 10948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Human avarice hurts the prized horse,\nWho wins profits for men on the course.\nWhat becomes of him when\nHe stops winning? Why, then\nHe gets flogged into fields to graze gorse.", "id": 10949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though the pianist kept missing the keys\nIn his bid to keep pace, screeching \"Please!\"\nThe conductor's crazed baton\nJust traced its mad pattern\nUntil it had dizzied six bees.", "id": 10950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Have you noticed that words such as thrash\nAre all brutal or hurried \u2014 like flash?\nWhen you rip off their starts,\nThey are burnt at their hearts,\nAnd you're left with just worthless grey ash.", "id": 10951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer and Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though ailing, the bride didn't falter\nAs she went to meet Walt at the altar.\nThe alterative she used\nWas so good that she cruised\nDown the aisle and applied Walter's halter.", "id": 10952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Playing poker 'til way after dark\nAfter laboring hard on the Ark,\nNoah's sons seem to know\nWhen he's anted his dough\nHe's an antediluvian mark.", "id": 10953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "I admit it was terrible bitchery\nTo claim Britney's popping her stitchery.\nI didn't mean that\nI was calling her fat,\nBut those boobs? Either implants or witchery!", "id": 10954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bicoastal means east coast and west coast;\nI can't say which one's the best-dressed coast.\nThey both have that thing\nKnown as funk, kitsch, or bling;\nSo wherever I am is the best coast.", "id": 10955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The Abacos, Little and Great,\nAre surrounded by Cays.  Their sedate\nBahamian charm\nCauses little alarm,\nThough the parrots squawk, \"Pieces of eight!\"", "id": 10956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "They seem opposites, bitter and sweet,\nYet at times, such emotions can meet,\nAnd the sweet is the more\nFor the bitter at core,\nAnd the mixture is strangely complete.", "id": 10957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Like I told you, Mom, I am no liar.\nIt was Jim who broke Sissy's blow-dryer.\nThough he knows it's for hair,\nHe still tried (on a dare)\nTo set my pink panties on fire.", "id": 10958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "There's a well-rounded hooker named Molly\nWhose job entails making men jolly.\nAs a part-time grammarian\nShe wrote Indo-Aryan\nVerb Roots in Modern Bengali.", "id": 10959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When you use the word amphichromatic,\nFew laymen feel over-ecstatic.\nTo them it's all Greek\n(Which it is) that you speak.\nSay \"having two hues\" \u2014 it's emphatic.", "id": 10960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The desk of the clown they call \"Silly\" Reuben\nHolds naught but a half-eaten chilly reuben.\nHe left really quick\nSince his newborn is sick:\nShe has jaundice (a surplus of bilirubin).", "id": 10961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'll define the Besselian year,\nThough its uses may not be so clear.\nWhen the sun in his arc\nHits one longitude mark,\nWe will toast him with bubbly and beer.", "id": 10962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Young boys and young girls like to play\nBoth with toys and each other, I'd say.\nElder boys playing games\nWith most beautiful dames\nSee fair game in fair ladies, for prey.", "id": 10963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An anagrammed line is a ring\nOf its letters arranged by a string;\nRearranged, every letter\nMakes a line even better:\nFor its star, Angel Yard, better sing.", "id": 10964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Near my hospital room in a line\nAre my bingo pals, hoping I'm fine.\nNow the doc's at the door\n(I'm in N-34),\nAnd he's calling my tumor . . . B-9!", "id": 10965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "I announce in my baritone voice,\n\"I've abstained!\" and the fundies rejoice.\nI've resisted the urgin'\nBy staying a virgin,\nBut truth is, I hadn't much choice.", "id": 10966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Republican Senator Glade\nDoesn't pay his congressional aide.\nThis shameful resistance\nTo wage-paid assistance\nHe claims as \"a boon to free trade\".", "id": 10967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Said the general, Robert E. Lee,\n\"How I wish I had bright repartee.\nO, a limerick I'd quote,\nOr that Frenchy 'bon mote' \u2014\nBut I don't,\" he said banteringly.", "id": 10968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The Acontias lizard's no snake,\nSo I hope you don't make that mistake.\nIt is legless, that's true,\nBut between me and you,\nIt's a skink, so I think it's a fake.", "id": 10969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "All hail Lakers great, Kobe Bryant!\nAs a backcourtman, truly he's giant.\nPoints per game?  Gosh, two dozen!\nAll the fans are a-buzzin'.\nWant an autograph?  He'll be compliant.", "id": 10970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An apandrous plant's not very happy,\nFor he'll never be known as a pappy.\nThough he's got a male part,\nHe can't get it to start,\nWhich, in short, makes him feel rather crappy.", "id": 10971, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bilbos were swords used by swordsmen\nWho fought for their lieges\u2014the lord's men\u2014\nWhile bimbos are gals\nGuys solicit as pals,\nAs they're prone to be liberal towards men.", "id": 10972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Who knows what tomorrow will bring?\nSome things that begin as a fling\nOpen just like a flower,\nWith transformative power;\nThus my soul finds its moment to sing.", "id": 10973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "On the coast there's a line, and it forms\nWhere the tide, when it's high, hits its norms.\nFrom that certain location\nTo the first vegetation\nIs the backshore, wet only in storms.", "id": 10974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace and mike scholtes", "limerick": "After childbirth, consult your physician\nIf your babe's in an awful condition.\nAarskog syndrome's the name\nOf the problems that came\nFrom recessive genetic transmission.", "id": 10975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "We can tell whence the hamburger came,\nAnd the frankfurter\u2014all in the name.\nBut my search through the map's\nUnsuccessful; perhaps\nThere's no city called Beefburg? A shame.", "id": 10976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I like my food plain, nothing flash.\nThat foreign muck's nothing but trash.\nForget pasta and rice\nAnd leave out the spice.\nJust give me my bangers and mash.", "id": 10977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Outsourcing, tech workers complain,\nMakes their loss now South India's gain.\nBangalore's IT smarts\nHelp to run software parts,\nBut it's still a big GNP drain.", "id": 10978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "In the breeze, the forked flags flap and dance;\nColoured banderoles wave on each lance.\nHenry V tells his men,\n\"We will beat them again.\nIn a trice we will trounce our foe France.\"", "id": 10979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "For this evening I'm sure that you want\nTo learn more of the language Balante:\nHeard in Guinea-Bissau\nAnd (I'm sure you'll allow)\nSenegal, but not voiced in Vermont.", "id": 10980, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "After lunch Captain Crunch was declaring,\nO'er the roar of the Sea in the Bering,\n\"'Twas the best allice shad\nThat I ever have had,\nSo I hope I'm not losing my herring.\"", "id": 10981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Saw an acaleph here in my pool,\nAnd I tell you that I am no fool.\nGot a gun (and some bread)\nAnd I shot that thing dead.\nMade a sub that'd make you all drool.", "id": 10982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My abdominohyster-damn-ectomy\nWas worse than my double mastectomy,\nBut my husband, I find,\nIs scared out of his mind\nNow he's facing a mere tonsillectomy.", "id": 10983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The rogue robbing Rob is a robber,\nAnd Job's job could be filled by a jobber.\nIf instead of Barb's coif,\nBob's hair Barber clips off,\nShould the bloke bobbing Bob be called ... bobber?", "id": 10984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Today is a stylist's despair day,\nA mom-warned-us-but-we-didn't-care day.\nIt's so windy and wet,\nFrizzy tresses forget\nAll decorum: it's ultra bad hair day.", "id": 10985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Avernus: the entrance to hell\nAs described by the poet, who'd tell\nOf the birds that flew by\nDropping dead from the sky,\nSo foul did this lake's vapors smell.", "id": 10986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I thought it might be kind of fun\nTo write limericks that feature a pun.\nBut Chris Doyle I'm not,\nAnd a comment I got\nWas start over\u2014go back to square one.", "id": 10987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Were it used about kids in the dirt,\nTo begrime couldn't possibly hurt.\nBut to sully a name\nIs a dangerous game,\nFor with slander and libel you flirt.", "id": 10988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"This performance, you're barred for your slip,\"\nSaid the dance mistress. \"Here is a tip:\nDo not skip this last chance\nTo perfect the next dance\u2014\nHit the barre; quit the club where you strip.\"", "id": 10990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the contest, Miss Archer's fine bow\nHelped her humble her masculine foe.\nIt was not just the score\nThat he looked silly for,\nBut the arrow she'd lodged in his toe.", "id": 10991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A flu known as H5N1\nHas the planet right under the gun.\n\"Good Lord! It's bubonic!\"\nIf I flee, how ironic,\nTo run scared when there's nowhere to run.", "id": 10993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Buster's clout as a famed antitruster\nAt the Grange is now deader than Custer.\nHe was caught with a hooker\n(A sultry good-looker),\nSome yams, and a huge feather duster.", "id": 10995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "There's no healthier breakfast than this,\nTopped with fruits and chopped hazelnuts, miss;\nCreamy milk-softened oats\nMixed with flaked buckwheat groats:\nBircherm\u00fcesli, it's munched by the Swiss!", "id": 10996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Though I hate to be so analytic,\nIt would seem that your pit's bacteritic.\"\n\"Well, how can you tell?\"\n\"I can tell by the smell...\"\n\"Darn it, everyone thinks he's a critic.\"", "id": 10997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In a city with street after street,\nWalk from each to the next one you meet.\nThe natives will talk\nOf the blocks that you walk;\nIt's more useful than measuring feet.", "id": 10998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "In regular usage, it ain't.\nThis form has become somewhat quaint.\nYes, sadly, it's wizened,\nThough still means it isn't.\nIt's becoming increasingly faint.", "id": 10999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Spanish courts in the past would arraign\nYou, painstakingly so, in the main.\nYes, the old Inquisition\nCould make your position\nAnd guilt most increasingly plain.", "id": 11000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LibraryLady and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a fact every girl-watcher knows\nThat a woman's the best of all shows.\nThe best are bikinied\nAnd found in-betweenied\nThe beach and their favorite beaus.", "id": 11001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Sasquatch made off with Aunt Betty,\nThen yelled when she cooked him spaghetti,\n\"Make tracks with your damn sauce;\nUs bigfeet like clam sauce!\"\nNow she's out in Tibet with a yeti.", "id": 11002, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "A client with whom I am dealing\nIs affectless (showing no feeling).\nWith his lack of emotion,\nLike warmth or devotion,\nHis dates find him less than appealing.", "id": 11003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "What's an ad hoc hypothesis for?\nIt pertains to one case and no more!\nIt allows for no testing.\nAn argument resting\nOn such leads to problems galore.", "id": 11004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Most planes lift their wings in a style\nThat gives them a look like a smile.\nBut a fighter's droop down\nIn a look like a frown \u2014\nAnhedral: more loops to the mile.", "id": 11005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The day had gone past, and slave Gaius\nAnd friend were still left on the dais.\nHe was suddenly smitten:\n\"Now check out that kitten!\nI hope she won't go on right bias!\"", "id": 11006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I think my position's a lock:\nI bought thirty-four shares of their stock.\nBut they made such a blunder\u2014\nI'll drive those jerks under\nBy selling the whole stinking block.", "id": 11007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The concept of marriage refers\nTo your sharing whatever occurs.\nWhen the time comes to split,\nSharing means not a whit:\nAlimony you got becomes hers.", "id": 11008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An act of the Congress could free\nAn activist newsman or three;\nBut if they're inactive,\nI'd find this attractive:\nEnact a vacation for me.", "id": 11009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's considered illegal to sock\nYour opponent, if you are a jock.\nIf he wants to go there\nThen the rules say it's fair\nNot to punch, but to throw up a block.", "id": 11010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "A sport. (That's a meaningless game,\nBringing undeserved fortune and fame\nTo its players.*) The scoop:\nToss a ball through a hoop;\nStop opponents from doing the same.", "id": 11011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "To be baptized and thus cleansed of sin,\nChristians differ on how to begin.\nSome call for immersion,\nWhile an alternate version\nCalls for water that's spritzed on the skin.", "id": 11012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Avaricious old Dr. Len Lattick\nIs never confused or erratic.\nAll those who can pay\nAre sent (well) on their way;\nThe others get whipped in his attic.", "id": 11013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Antidisestablishmentarianism\nIs both a resistance to schism\nOf church and the state\n(Which the priests tend to hate)\nAnd the longest damned word with an -ism.", "id": 11014, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Anthroposociology's not\nOnly Greek, for it tells us a lot\nAbout places on races,\nAnd races on places \u2014\nEffects of (I almost forgot).", "id": 11017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "An assiduous surgeon named Gutting\nWorked hard on his slicing and cutting.\nKnowing patience would pay,\nHe would practise all day \u2014\nThough he sometimes lost patients while putting.", "id": 11018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "As nerve damage oftentimes shows\nIn the curious curl of one's toes,\nA specialist checks\nFor a special reflex:\nIt's Babinski's if upward it goes.", "id": 11019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Her young suitor once made the assumption\nShe'd marry him; such a presumption\nYou'd think would fall flat\nBut \"Why, sure!\" she said \u2014 that\nGoes to prove nothing beats Forrest Gumption.", "id": 11020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiduelling laws were ignored,\nAnd for centuries pistol and sword\nGave one's honor its due,\nWhile today we just sue\nAnd draw blood through a hefty award.", "id": 11021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The peasants don't need any coaching.\nThey know that the law's antipoaching,\nBut I still find their traps,\nSo I've brought in some chaps\nWho will soon put an end to encroaching.", "id": 11022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since Argus had one hundred eyes\nHe'd have made a fine guard, I surmise.\nWhen punctilious sentries\nBlock alien entries\nThey're vigilant, Argus-eyed guys.", "id": 11023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "...But when God took a hand in the game,\nThe construction crew swiftly became\nA directionless rabble\nWhose speech was a babel\nOf lingos no longer the same.", "id": 11024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nplclio", "limerick": "If something is ancient, it's old,\nLike Egypt's boy pharaoh Tut's gold.\nIt's existed for years\nLike the most primal fears\nOf past generations untold.", "id": 11025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Birth certificate \u2014 here's what we warn:\nWithout it you'll oft be forlorn.\nMany others must see\nYour official ID.\nIf it's lost you can't prove you were born.", "id": 11027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"You're so biassed!\" the immigrant chants.\nI am not and I spit at his rants.\nHe's one-sided and cruel;\nBeing biassed's uncool.\nIf I were, I'd wear two pairs of pants.", "id": 11028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bobby B.", "limerick": "That comedian's now bacteremic,\nAnd it's hard standing up while ischemic.\nWith those germs in his blood,\nHe must feel like crud;\nHis humor's become quite anemic.", "id": 11029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Equilibrium, harmony, parity,\nIn meaning, show clear similarity;\nThat is, each of these three\nCan mean \"balance,\" you see.\n(And in my life, they're rather a rarity.)", "id": 11030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My checkbook was clearly a wreck.\n(Subtracting's a pain in the neck.)\nSo I quickly sought aid\nFrom a balancer, paid\nWith a check once he'd checked every check.", "id": 11031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A man at my bar, when he's high,\nBlows the foam from his beer in my eye.\nI could rip him to shreds\nOver his lager heads;\nI'm at loggerheads now with this guy.", "id": 11032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The bigeye, a warm-water fish,\nAt the end of the line, has one wish.\nWhen it's hooked, its big eye,\nRound and wide, asks you, \"Why\nDid I rise to the lure's siren swish?\"", "id": 11033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "She mocked what he had in his pocket,\nA joint with a ball in a socket.\nSaid he, \"But it's free\nTo move any degree,\nAnd the shaft tucks away when I dock it.\"", "id": 11034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antisexist defenses include:\nWas your mother this nasty and lewd?\nWill those wolf whistles stop\nWhen you learn I'm a cop?\nAt the gym, do they laugh when you're nude?", "id": 11035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Can temperance save us from shinny? An\nItinerant preacher's opinion:\nInjunctions astringe us\nTo dampen our binges\nAnd limit thereby hell's dominion.", "id": 11036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Beurre mani\u00e9 behaves much like a roux,\nFlour and butter in soup, sauce, and stew.\nYou whisk like the dickens\nTo add it; it thickens\nThe stew (and your arteries, too).", "id": 11037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We opened in London today,\nAnd it went like a bomb, critics say.\nSo we're popping a cork,\n'Cause this isn't New York,\nWhere a bomb is a flop of a play.", "id": 11038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "When bacteria struck, beta-lactam\nUsed 4-atom ring power and smacked 'em.\nBeta-lactamase, though,\nOn behalf of the foe,\nFound the key to the drug's rings and hacked 'em.", "id": 11039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The calligrapher, Higgle D. Piggly,\nMade flourishes sweeping and squiggly.\nHis loops left the sheet\nAnd entangled his feet,\nFor whatever he wrote, he wrote bigly.", "id": 11040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "In old Athens, Paul preached on Mars' hill.\nTake his speech, men of Greece, as you will\u2014\nIf your god was \"unknown\"\nWas it much like a stone?\nSome believed; some were skeptical still.", "id": 11041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Artaxerxes,\" wrote Bishlam et al.,\n\"Jews are building Jerusalem's wall.\nYour accounts are compelling:\nThey're always rebelling.\nRestrain them; prevent urban sprawl.\"", "id": 11042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "We anathematize you, you stinker.\nSo damned smart, but too free as a thinker.\nYou, Baruch de Spinoza,\nWe curse, for you pose a\nGrave threat to the church; you might sink her.", "id": 11043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Matilda, Menahem's main squeeze,\nBred discomfort and grew hard to please.\nSo he soon came to hate her,\nThe swaggering baiter;\nHer pleasure, to hector and tease.", "id": 11044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"He's not yet at the end of his tether,\"\nSaid God of the Pharaoh. \"But whether\nHe knows it or no,\nHe will soon let you go;\nHe shall thrust you out hence altogether.\"", "id": 11045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Hey, Dave, put your vengeance on ice,\"\nSaid good Abigail, \"Nabal's not nice.\nBut don't kill him \u2014  I bet\nYou'll feel regal regret.\"\nDave took Abigail and her advice.", "id": 11046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "What a fine stretch of waterfront land!\nIt is strewn with bright pebbles and sand.\nThis beach is so...beachy,\nSo perfect, so peachy!\nLet's stroll down the strand, hand in hand.", "id": 11047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Bay Area rail's like a sport,\nA sprint 'neath the Bay, port-to-port.\nRemember, don't flex it,\nThat ticket's to exit.\nDagnabbit! Ran one letter short!", "id": 11048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "We got betaine first from the beet;\nThen from cotton seed, vetch, sprouts of wheat.\nIt and ether part ways;\nMixed with water, it stays.\nIt's a base, it's a crystal, it's sweet.", "id": 11049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "As tsunamis and earthquakes will show,\nThe forces beneath us aren't slow.\nAnogenic events\nCan be quick and intense\nWhen they swallow us up from below.", "id": 11050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sworn to silence, the monks became crabby\nWhen one of them turned a bit blabby.\nSo they drafted a letter:\nQuote \"Quiet is better.\"\nAnd addressed it, of course, to Dear Abbey.", "id": 11051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "All the planets play orbital sounds,\nBut Alinda's fine footwork astounds.\nWith the earth, she's sublime\nIn quadrennial time,\nAll while waltzing to Jupiter's rounds.", "id": 11052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "As Darwin made note, way back when:\nApes are closely related to men.\nThey often are better\nThan any jet setter\u2014\nWhy keep them in zoo cages, then?", "id": 11053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Those tapes of St. Elsewhere I've got,\nThat orange-glazed seventies pot,\nThese toys of the kids',\nThose jars with no lids:\nI'm a bowerbird, hoarding the lot.", "id": 11054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "As I sped ever nearer the edge\nOf the cliff on my wobbly old sledge,\nA large barghest appeared,\nWhose bad omen I feared,\nTill my sledge knocked that dog off the ledge.", "id": 11055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Hmm . . . an apple? I guess it's nutritious.\"\nSo he ate, but it soon proved pernicious.\nAfter God threw them out,\nAdam still thought her clout\nOwed to Eve's being so babelicious.", "id": 11056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An actor, Tom Cruise, made the news\nScolding women with bad baby blues,\n\"I'm really emphatic\u2014\nIt's psychosomatic.\nI'm 'Clear' and thus sure of my views.\"", "id": 11057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Number Six-Sixty-Six, says each priest,\nIs the Number (dear Lord!) of the Beast!\nBut poor 666\nHas done zilch/nada/nix\nWorse than help roulette players get fleeced.", "id": 11058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "On political so-called correctness,\nI spit, for it spits on directness.\nYou may play craven games\nAnd invent inane names,\nBut do not seek from me such abjectness.", "id": 11059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Anti-Jewish is such a sad word,\nFor it flows from the awe of the herd.\nWherever Jews settle\nThey show their rare mettle,\nAnd envy then often gets stirred.", "id": 11060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As a healer, the bland obstetrician\nHad little financial ambition.\nHe loved ladies deeply,\nSo treated them cheaply \u2014\nHalf-price if they caught his condition.", "id": 11061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bishop Tutu toot-tooted at Crewe\nHis own two o'clock Tutu to-do.\nAware he loved trains,\nChristian drivers took pains\nTo toot-toot Tutu, too, to 2:02.", "id": 11062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Old Van Dyke, a Dutch hewer of logs,\nWent to masquerade balls in his clogs.\nWhen disguised as a tree,\nHe'd mistakenly be\nDiscommoded by drunks and rude dogs.", "id": 11063, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A karate girl's show-stopping kick\nWas inept, yet alarmingly quick.\nHer volunteer's arm\nHaving come to some harm,\nHe was told he had been a real brick.", "id": 11064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Anopisthographic's a word\nThat's so Greek it's infrequently heard.\nIt means \"writing on only\nOne side\" to some lonely\nOld linguaphiles (and the odd nerd).", "id": 11065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Milking roughly can wound a cow's udder,\nThen mastitis will make Bossy shudder.\nGently wash down each teat,\nSalve with bag balm, repeat.\nSoon she'll heal and glad feelings will flood 'er.", "id": 11066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Our dog hates the Fourth of July.\nMisty whimpers to all passersby.\nFor at dusk, a barrage\nOf bright lights in montage\nWith loud sounds hurts her senses\u2014that's why.", "id": 11067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Baby bunny stretched up his full height,\nNibbling each pink petunia in sight;\nWhile inside Poppa died,\nAs his family cried:\nNot a banquet for Death\u2014just a bite.", "id": 11068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Said the alien life-form named Phred\n(Who wore glasses in back of his head\n'Cause back there was his snoot\nAn' ten eyeballs to boot):\n\"It's my eye doctor bills that I dread.\"", "id": 11069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since I'd really prefer to dispense\nWith surveyors and all that expense,\nInstead I've been honing\nA skill known as boning\nTo line up the posts for my fence.", "id": 11070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg and Graham Lester", "limerick": "To my wife, as she kindly attended,\nI said, \"Dear, my damned ass pain's not ended.\"\nSo she called Dr. Page,\nWho declared, \"It's 'roid rage\u2014\nAnal-gesic is what's recommended.\"", "id": 11071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "In Spain, sixteen litres of wine:\nAn arroba (rioja's just fine),\nOr in old Portuguese,\nFifteen kilos of cheese.\nWith friends, it all sounds quite divine!", "id": 11072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ogden Nash wrote that \"Candy is dandy,\nBut liquor is quicker.\" (How handy!)\nFor breaking the ice,\nWhat's the perfect device?\nAquavitae (strong spirits, or brandy).", "id": 11073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "Poor old Oscar the Grouch got quite mad\nIn his can (too much fun can be bad).\nSo he slid down and hid,\nAnd he battened his lid\nUsing all the spare trash that he had.", "id": 11074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "Once, in a race I invested\u2014\nI bet on the boy barrel-chested.\nStarting high on the knoll\n(For the goal was to roll),\nBeing round, he had all the rest bested.", "id": 11075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I was just getting into my goading\nWhen he said, \"This here gun's autoloading.\"\nWithout pause to reload\nHe soon filled my abode\nFull of holes, and my mind with foreboding.", "id": 11077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "I've a very good friend, bidenticulate;\nWhen he speaks, he is not quite articulate.\nWith only two teeth,\nHe must lisp on beneath\nAnd gets tongue-tied when saying vermiculate.", "id": 11078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "In Uttar Pradesh, folks will goad ya\nTo seek out a town called Ajodhya.\nIt's sacred, they say.\nHindus drop by each day,\nAs I'm sure every fakir has todhya.", "id": 11079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Law", "limerick": "You must know it's considered a crime\n(It's debasing an art\nBy corrupting its heart)\nTo forgo proper limerick rhyme\nOr to bastardize meter and time.", "id": 11080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If a choice, \"one\" or \"zero\", you've sought;\n\"Yes\" or \"no\", then you've binary thought.\nFor a \"2\" there's no place,\nIf you try, you're off base;\nDon't you do it \u2014 you'll just come to nought.", "id": 11081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From an elderly baker named Schlegel,\nA kiss might elicit a bagel;\nBut in Brooklyn's back alleys,\nGals knew his bialys\nWere always the best to inveigle.", "id": 11082, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The trouble with school bands is that\nNearly all the young players play flat.\nBut the worst noise of all\nAin't the clarinets' squawl\nBut the sound of a horn going \"Blat!\"", "id": 11083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In Glasgow, a fellow named Phyfe\nWent to buy some supplies with his wife;\nThey bought nappies and pins,\nBibs and formula tins;\nBairn necessities, for a new life.", "id": 11084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If ever you travel Down Under,\nThe gardens will thrill you like thunder.\nTheir Banksia bowers\nOf bottlebrush flowers\nWill fill you with joy and with wonder.", "id": 11085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Said I, to the database lass,\n\"Your server's become a morass.\nYour front-end is fine\n(Handles better than mine),\nBut your back-end's a pain in the ass.\"", "id": 11086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Alabaster's a ten-dollar word\nMost Americans only have heard\nIn some lines penned by Bates \u2014\nBut darn few in the States\nKnow it's gypsum; now ain't that absurd?", "id": 11087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I molded an arrow of tin\nAnd feathered the finest white fin;\n\"It's done,\" I announced,\nThen I launched it.  It bounced.\n\"Rather pointless,\" I thought with chagrin.", "id": 11088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A basidiomycetus fungus,\nSaprophytic (this term is humongous):\nSome agarics you eat,\nAlthough some come complete\nFit to poison the careless among us!", "id": 11089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When the room that you're in is so dim\nThat you can't tell a her from a him,\nGet a new abatjour,\nAnd you'll always be sure\nThe right person will yield to your whim.", "id": 11090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If braised kidney is all that you eat,\nThat is way too much iron-filled meat.\nTake an antisideric\nOr else call on a cleric,\nFor you soon will be dead in the street.", "id": 11091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The Balkans refers to some nations\n(Example: the one for Croatians);\nDivision and strife\nAre a part of their life\u2014\nAs are frequent renationalizations.", "id": 11092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "I am sure that I cannot be faulted\nIf I like to see spans barrel-vaulted.\nThey are dolioform,\nWhich is far from the norm,\nBut to my eyes, they're simply exalted.", "id": 11093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If a passion for anything floral\nCauses actions completely immoral,\nAnthomania's  what\nYou have probably got.\nNow stop clipping that hardy old laurel.", "id": 11094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A great balancer bloke, \"Shipwreck\" Kelly,\nOn a flagpole's high perch, did quite well.  He\nWould sit on the top,\nFor weeks without stop \u2014\nEntertainment before there was telly.", "id": 11095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I see colors, except for one hue,\nWith acyanopsia, true;\nBut my victory's pyrrhic\nWhen singing the lyric:\n\"Hurrah for the red, white, and ... ummm....\"", "id": 11096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's on us; feel the stifling onus\nOf fixing the shipping room's slowness.\nIf we don't push some more\nTo get stuff out the door,\nWe'll get zilch for an end-of-year bonus.", "id": 11097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If in law, the old rules don't apply,\nOr in math, a new method you try,\nThere once was a word\nThat is now seldom heard.\nIt was aliter; wave it goodbye.", "id": 11098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Anaptyxis, inserting a vowel,\nIs a process that causes a howl.\nIf two consonants make\nA cacophony, take\nA small break, or just throw in the towel.", "id": 11099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "For nine decades did Sarah aspire\nTo have children, her heart's one desire.\nWhen she barrenly went\nTo go weep in her tent,\nShe conceived, and from then was no crier.", "id": 11100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will acclaim for this star someday tarnish?\nThe truth is too simple to varnish:\nThis Conan of fiction,\nWith barbarous diction,\nDeclaims not in English, but Arnish.", "id": 11101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "I have never been tempted to eat\nAny artichoke I've chanced to meet.\nSince it sounds hard to swallow,\nI just tend to follow\nMy instinctive distaste for the feat.", "id": 11102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When a Viking lacked verve as a worker,\nOr the kill-rage to be a berserker,\nEating red-headed 'shrooms\nMade him stark (one assumes)\nRaving mad, but at least not a shirker!", "id": 11103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I think I might write of abulia,\nWhere strong indecision can rulia,\nBut quickly I find\nI've again changed my mind\u2014\nThat's the way that abulia can foolia.", "id": 11104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A giraffe-necked remarkable dame\nFrom Rangoon has attained wide acclaim.\nWith her twenty-third ring,\nThey have found she can sing\nA high C that puts divas to shame.", "id": 11105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "L'chaim! Mazel tov! Girl, you're it!\nYou're now a bath mitzvah, legit.\nYou chanted the Torah\nAnd now, kenahorah,\nFor adulthood you're finally fit!", "id": 11106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Prohibition? Who cares? Let's get schicker!\nBlind pigs sell us contraband liquor.\nWhen the Feds raid the place,\nHide the hooch, leave no trace.\nYou have never seen booze vanish quicker.", "id": 11107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "On my baking my fame should be staked:\nAll my pastry's exquisitely flaked,\nMy rum cakes are rummy,\nMy crumb cakes are crumby,\nBut my puns, it appears, are half-baked.", "id": 11108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said David, \"I hate to be snide,\nBut treason I cannot abide.\"\n\"Peace, peace, son of Jesse,\nBetrayal is messy,\"\nAmasai said, \"We're on your side.\"", "id": 11109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "In the worst part of town, there's hysteria.\nYou would not find a soul there to marry ya.\nIt's a haven for drugs,\nWhores, delinquents, and thugs.\nStay away from your burg's blighted area.", "id": 11110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "saranita", "limerick": "Oh, how versatile, bone ash! (My stash\nComes from cattle bones burned in a flash.)\nIn ceramics, for scours,\nTo fertilize flowers\u2014\nDon't toss out those bones in the trash!", "id": 11111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A.V. Robeson", "limerick": "Young Victor did not feel his best.\nWas his insulin being suppressed?\nVictor's urine would show\nKetone bodies (Oh no!)\nAs was proved by the acetone test.", "id": 11112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An accountant is paid to count money\nSo that shareholders know nothing funny\nIs draining their hive,\nLest their shares take a dive\nWhen their honey begins to get runny.", "id": 11113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jantine Bootsman", "limerick": "An afghan is easy to start\u2014\nJust buy yourself threads and a chart.\nBut halfway, it appears\nIt will take you three years\nJust to finish the cross-stitching part.", "id": 11114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "The girl that I love leaves no doubt\nWhat her sexual allure is about.\nSays my mom, \"It's salacious!\"\nBut I'm thinkin': \"Bodacious!\nLet all yer allure hang on out.\"", "id": 11115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Ameloctopus has a trick to flee harm;\nHis autotomy works like a charm.\nWhat's craunching on him\nIs left grasping a limb\nAnd a tale of a throwaway arm.", "id": 11116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Showing Pooch at the grand AKC,\nYou start out with a wholehearted plea:\nThat your dog will walk proud\nTo the cheers of the crowd\nAnd will not lift his hind leg to pee.", "id": 11117, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"I'll be rich,\" Van Dyke cried to the frogs,\n\"There's treasure\" (beep-beep) \"in these bogs!\"\nCroaked one, \"Your detector\nWould beep in each sector.\nIt's sensing the nails in your clogs.\"", "id": 11118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "A lawyer, both savvy and cynical,\nProduced a last-minute adminicle \u2014\nNew proof to support\nWhat he'd said to the court\n(Just so long as they didn't get clinical).", "id": 11119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Since horse chestnuts taste very bitter,\nThey're barely fit food for a critter.\nThey're called \"aesculaceous\"\nFrom \"food\". Goodness gracious!\nAs adjectives go, I've seen fitter.", "id": 11121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Keep those poisonous mushrooms away!\nAmanita phalloides, let's say,\nIs a cupful of death\u2014\nHow much time's left for breath\nAfter death cap for dinner? A day.", "id": 11123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The Belgian hare might have to pass\nA bilingual exam in school class,\nBut it's really a rabbit,\nSo it's just a bad habit\nTo call it a li\u00e8vre or a haas.", "id": 11124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "To a black mass  \u2014 that's where I have been:\nI had hoped to see something obscene.\nIt was held in the night\nAnd without any light,\nSo a mass of black's all that I've seen.", "id": 11125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "When your thoughts can be told in a tale,\nYour ideas are mouthed without fail,\nWords form in your head,\nAnd your sayings are said \u2014\nYou're on an articulable trail.", "id": 11127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aim for aerospace, lofty domain\nOf the rocket, the jet, and the plane.\nSome recruiters may sneer\nAt this layoff career,\nBut the journey is part of the gain.", "id": 11128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Can you substitute curds for the wine?\nArtotyrites believed it was fine.\nIn the Montanist (Phrygian)\nApproach to religion,\nThe cheeses were truly divine.", "id": 11129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Our outrageous executive bonus\nIs becoming a bit of an onus.\nSuch high compensation\nThrough bonification\nHas stockholders planning to stone us.", "id": 11130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mom's sister, a dentist, Aunt Carrie\nFell in love with a fellow named Harry\nWhile making him dentures,\nWhere decay never ventures \u2014\nAunty Carrie's decided to marry.", "id": 11131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "If a cholecystectomy's due,\nAnd your bile ducts are aberrant, you\nMight expect complications,\nFor doc's ministrations\nCould cause a hepatic to-do!", "id": 11132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In limericks I manage to cobble,\nMy English is sometimes awobble.\nWhen push comes to shove,\nI am hardly above\nAccenting an errant syllable.", "id": 11134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "Some kid in PE told a shocker:\nBacteria lived in his locker!\n(What bio-class beaker's\nAs rich as old sneakers\nAnd socks full of microbes from soccer?)", "id": 11135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "I'm a sucker for animal rights.\nEv'ry summer, I lie awake nights,\nFood for fly and mosquito\u2014\nUnable to veto\nThe first law of Nature: it bites!", "id": 11136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "New Year's Eve was Tim's date to go boozing.\nIn the morning, his headache was bruising.\nGin and tonic repulsed\nWhile his stomach convulsed.\nThe affliction: his very own choosing.", "id": 11137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "geekwraith", "limerick": "In stock market trading you dabble,\nAnd treat all your clients like rabble.\nWhen they find out your ruse\nAnd the shouting ensues,\nIt will not sound like words, but just babble.", "id": 11138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Dry some animal fats and then titrate\nThe resulting ammonia and nitrate;\nSpread the stuff on your fields,\nBecause ammonite yields\nGreat results if applied at the right rate.", "id": 11139, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"When in Rome, count like Romans, say I.\"\nTo which Sailor's response is \"Aye Aye.\"\n\"I means one, damn your ayes.\"\n\"I meant two,\" he replies.\n(Who's On First, done by Sailor and Bligh.)", "id": 11140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Arrears are the money you owe,\nSo pay up your debts with your dough.\nArrear's not a rear.\nDon't confuse them, my dear,\nOr a-sitting you'll nevermore go.", "id": 11141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The bake was a social event\nAt which clams and the like underwent\nSome exposure to heat\nSo the people could eat\nTasty food on a Friday in Lent.", "id": 11142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The birdhouse I made for my dad\nBack in summer camp looked pretty bad,\n'Cause one side wasn't true\nAnd the perch was askew,\nAnd in popsicle sticks it was clad.", "id": 11143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The alphabet, language's pawn,\nIf examined in depth\u2014pro and con\u2014\nIs twenty-six letters.\nYou'll find them on sweaters,\nAnd other odd things we may don.", "id": 11144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Atheism tends to be seen,\nBy those whose proclivities lean\nToward belief (somewhat scary)\nIn a sovereign Tooth Fairy,\nAs immoral, unwise, and obscene.", "id": 11145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Dragged my pen 'cross the paper. No prank,\nMade a line that was straight as a plank.\nSaid my friend, \"What's it show?\nJust what is it?\" \"Don't know,\nI'm afraid I'm just drawing a blank.\"", "id": 11146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "If you wish to increase your capacity\nFor enlightenment and perspicacity,\nThen you really must try\nBloom's Taxonomy \u2014 why,\nIt's a must for attaining sagacity!", "id": 11147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "When your marketing strategy flops,\nAnd your share value constantly drops,\nThere's no use pretending\nThe tops are ascending \u2014\nYou're looking at descending tops.", "id": 11148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Husband Paul cried in agony, \"Jane!\nI've acromiohumeral pain!\"\nThen when neighbour Eileen\nQueried, \"What does he mean?\"\nJane explained, \"It's his shoulder again.\"", "id": 11149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Don't imagine that prospecting's fun.\nWe will work through the wind, rain and sun,\nAnd our searching for oil\nCan be backbreaking toil\u2014\nYes, it's boring when all's said and done.", "id": 11150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Getting ready to go to the fair;\nHow I hope my true love will be there.\nBut I'm not ready yet\nAs my border's not set,\nSo I plait and I braid up my hair.", "id": 11151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Using amperage, that's how we measure\nElectrical current\u2014a treasure\nThat preserves Amp\u00e8re's name\nAnd remembers his fame,\nWhile an ohm recalls Ohm at our pleasure.", "id": 11152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A stimulus he has received.\nHis response: is he hooked or just peeved?\nIf it's adient, he\nWill draw near and agree;\nIf it's abient, flees, feels relieved.", "id": 11153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bowdlerizer butchers a work\nBy carving it up with a smirk.\nWith an attitude haughty,\nHe purges what's naughty.\nWhat's left is jejune. What a jerk!", "id": 11154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sight-impaired builder, McCraw,\nWas sacked with a callous guffaw:\n\"Your vision's declined, man!\"\n\"I see,\" said the blind man,\nWho picked up his hammer and saw.", "id": 11155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Not diamonds! I told you before, on\nYour drill use some Borazon, moron!\"\nHe told me with ardor,\n\"This stuff is much harder:\nThe crystalline nitride of boron!\"", "id": 11157, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Biometrics detects what you say,\nEven measures your eyes with a ray,\nTracks the way that you sign\n(So it's yours and not mine),\nAnd ensures you're yourself every day.", "id": 11158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jholtzman", "limerick": "It's a detour not caused by construction,\nAn electrical signal obstruction.\nIn order to see it\nYou must EKG it \u2014\nAberrant ventricular conduction.", "id": 11159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jholtzman", "limerick": "You won't find him down at the mall,\nOr tipping one back at last call.\nWith anthropophobia\nHe's fated to go be a\nHermit, afraid of us all.", "id": 11160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Although sometimes my blindness has tried me,\nI'm at ease with my dog alongside me.\nHe's much more than a friend,\nFor I have to depend\nOn his eyes to reliably guide me.", "id": 11161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Though assassinate simply means \"slay,\"\nIt's not used for just any old prey,\nOnly big VIPs,\nSo don't murder me, please;\nBut assassinate? Yeah, well, okay.", "id": 11162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "That siren I hear, I don't mind;\nIt's an ambulance just being kind.\nIt is making a dash\nFor a bad auto crash\nWith a hopeful attorney behind.", "id": 11163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "I'm sure I can prove in this case\nThat between every word is a space.\nThough it's mute (never heard),\nSpace defines every word.\nYes,withoutthem,thisline'sadisgrace.", "id": 11164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "In life, you must set a good pace\nTo survive to the end of the race,\nBut the kids that you raise\nSap your strength with their ways\n'Cause you scream 'til you're blue in the face.", "id": 11165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "My roommate at school was besot\nWith a girl who was terribly hot.\nWhen she left him, you bet\nHe would drink to forget,\nBesotting himself shot by shot.", "id": 11166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "\"You need money and no one gives credit\n'Cause you don't pay your debts.\" (There, I said it.)\nThe one hope that I've seen\nIs a new blanket lien.\nPay it off or you surely will dread it.", "id": 11167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Sonny's ex (who's a genuine dear)\nGot a sunburn that made her eyes tear,\nWed the partner of Roebuck,\nAnd told bodements of no luck.\nCher's sure a sincere seared Sears seer.", "id": 11169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Shining spikes, washing jocks, there's no glitter\nDoing this\u2014and you can't be a quitter.\nHe's sure not a loafer;\nThe batboy's a gofer.\nIf that job were mine, I'd be bitter.", "id": 11170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since women have walked on the earth,\nThis has tested their mettle and worth:\nAn inward aggression\u2014\nPostpartum depression.\nThey call it the blues of the birth.", "id": 11171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For anglers, a bobber's a float;\nWolfgang Hoppe's a bobber of note\nWho at sledding was swell;\nAnd a bobber, as well,\nIs a man who pulls fish from a boat.", "id": 11172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "Continuous growth, or accrescence,\nSuits businessmen, not adolescents.\nThere is no end, I fear,\nTo a corporate career,\nAs there must be to youthful tumescence.", "id": 11173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Sure, the teacher you dated was hot.\nNo, she wasn't impressed by your yacht.\nBut you really went wrong\nSinging \"ain't\" in that song,\nAnd then writing you loved her \"alot.\"", "id": 11175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The Ayrshire's a very fine breed\nOf cattle from west of the Tweed.\nThough they started in Ayr,\nThey're now found everywhere,\nSince their toughness ensures they succeed.", "id": 11176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Before filming each day I would slog\nAcross dim foggy moors, through a bog.\nSherlock Holmes was the part\nI took deepest to heart,\nLike a Rathbone in search of a dog.", "id": 11177, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "But the Prince wasn't up for this gig\u2014\nNot athletic, and fat as a pig!\nHe suffered a fall\nFifty feet up the wall.\nSeems Rapunzel was wearing a wig.", "id": 11178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A suspension of rights is conceivable.\nA complete fascist state is believable.\nWhile the mood is intense,\nCall it \"Homeland Defense\"\nAnd then any corruption's achievable.", "id": 11179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your man's conduct needs modification?\nB. F. Skinner can ease your frustration.\nWhen he's good: \"Here's a cookie.\"\nIf not: \"No more nookie.\"\nBehaviorism: That's your salvation!", "id": 11180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "There's sand in my shoe.  Goodness gracious!\nSo now the shoe's, what, arenaceous\n(That is, made of sand)?\nNo, nothing so grand.\nAt worst, it is merely vexatious.", "id": 11181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I climbed up the mountain, with skill,\nTo the apex\u2014a marvelous thrill!\nBut on top of the summit,\nWhilst looking down from it,\nI noticed I felt a bit ill.", "id": 11182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If socialites want to get thinner,\nHave beauty both outer and inner,\nThey should buy a good book\nThat will show how to cook,\nAnd avoid making bookings for dinner.", "id": 11183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My boyishness nearly has faded:\nThe youth I once proudly paraded\nIs all in the past;\nNow I'm aging too fast,\nFor I can't climb a stairway unaided.", "id": 11184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Borodin took some time to be hep;\nHe found music a bit of a schlepp.\nYet some ditties of his met\nApproval in Kismet.\nOf Asia he sang, steppe by steppe.", "id": 11185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Though I'd like to be known for my foxiness,\nMy figure is chock-full of boxiness.\nSo, starting today\nI will keep far away\nFrom buffets known for bagel-and-loxiness.", "id": 11186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A Swede was bereft and forlorn,\nIn the matter of gender quite torn:\n\"Though I'm outwardly male,\nLet my girl-side prevail,\nFor I wish I had never been Bjorn.\"", "id": 11187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Gamma globulin: \"Microbes I pound,\nBeta globulin, slacker profound.\"\nB replied, getting hot,\n\"Be content with your lot!\nI must ferry this iron around.\"", "id": 11188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You've made dozens of laps 'round the track\nAnd a breather's the thing that you lack?\nDon't just sit, kneel, or crouch;\nFind a hammock or couch,\n'Cause accumbency's really laid back.", "id": 11189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "On the freeway, preparing to pass,\nYou accelerate\u2014step on the gas\u2014\nBut should you mistake\nAnd stomp on the brake,\nYou'll accelerate backward, alas.", "id": 11190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "For want of a meal we would fast\nWere it not for the amyloplast.\nIn potato or larch\nIt turns sap into starch,\nSo our debt to this cell's rather vast.", "id": 11191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Eddie Albert at last met his maker \u2014\nThe giver of life (and the taker).\nNear a hundred, old Eddie\nWas certainly ready\nTo cross into God's own green acre.", "id": 11192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "If on some desert island I landed\nWith a lock of your hair tightly banded,\nI would have enough hair\nTo be rescued from there,\nBut with only one hair, I'd be stranded.", "id": 11193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The number sign seemed a good name\nFor the hash, since it first rose to fame\nAs the #1 way\nTo show numbers. Now they\nSay six pounds is 6#. It's a shame.", "id": 11194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Acrocarp: not a fish in the air;\nIt's that green on the ground over there.\nOn this moss you may spy\nArchegonia high,\nEach one perched on a stalk like a hair.", "id": 11195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Woes urethral?  Could be this'll cure ya.\nSome doctors advise (I assure ya)\nDrinking cranberry juice\nSo the bugs will vamoose,\nFor it's said they can't stand aciduria.", "id": 11196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Don't like sweating? You might try agaric,\nA mushroom.  But summon a cleric,\nFor if it's not right,\nYour demise will be quite\nAn unpleasant one, harsh and barbaric.", "id": 11197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Disheartened, this board has discussed\nYour disgraceful betrayal of trust.\nHow displeasing a feat,\nThis disloyal deceit.\nWe've decided dismembering's just.", "id": 11198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "In Europe, Americans stare\nVery rudely at underarm hair.\nThey even take Paxil\nTo deal with the axil-\nlary fashions they find over there.", "id": 11199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Assumably: I have inferred\nThat the meaning of such an odd word\nDoes imply I'm assuming.\nBut am I presuming?\nAssumably, this is absurd.", "id": 11200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Her old girdle had whalebone stays.\nIts removal had stopped her malaise.\nWhen she ended her pain\nHer assuagement was plain.\nThose stays rubbed her ribs the wrong ways.", "id": 11201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Most pretensions are just a disguise\nOf a type that most people despise.\nAttitudinize, friend,\nAnd our friendship will end;\nYour esteem will reduce in my eyes.", "id": 11202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "In psychology courses you'll learn\nIn the anal stage two-year olds yearn\nTo glean joy from their bums.\nIt's not smutty; that comes\nWhen the genital stage takes its turn.", "id": 11203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The great hunger we're feeling transcends\nAny yearning we've had. It portends\nThat most likely we might\nEat some roadkill tonight.\nHow's your appetite now, my dear friends?", "id": 11204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My novel returned. To my dread,\nA rejection slip clipped to it said,\n\"Here's something to strive at:\nDo not use 'arrive at'\nTo finish a sentence.\" Signed, Ed.", "id": 11205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The actor keeps flubbing the scene\nWith emotionless work. Take fifteen:\nWhen the boss shouts, \"You're fired!\"\nAll at once, he's inspired\nAnd affectively venting his spleen.", "id": 11206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As Ol' Otto goes out for a spin\nIn his auto in Attu agin,\nShould he drive for the shore\nWhere there's hostels galore,\nOr ought Otto opt out for an inn?", "id": 11207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When the ag students toured on their own\nThrough a fowl-breeding fair they were shown\nAutosexing techniques.\nThere's one kid with red cheeks\nWho had thought it meant, \"Do it alone.\"", "id": 11208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "If Hillary runs in ought-eight,\nThey'll pillory her in each state.\nBut she holds in reserve\nA campaigner with verve;\nAs auxiliary, Bill will be great.", "id": 11209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Jayson Blair, the reporter, had zeal,\nBut his \"news\", it turns out, wasn't real.\nHis auctorial bent\nTo deceive and invent\nHas helped land him a six-figure deal.", "id": 11210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "That tree standing ninety feet tall\nAin't indigenous here. That's not all:\nThe Australian pine\nIsn't pine by design,\nAnd it's known for its penchant to sprawl.", "id": 11211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "If a set (filled with elements), X,\nSelf-permutes as a group, one suspects\n\"Automorphism\" is,\nOn the algebra quiz,\nThe one answer the teacher expects.", "id": 11212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "To quadruple my output I may\nGuzzle four pots of coffee today.\nIt is cheap; though it's nigh\nAn amphetamine high,\nIt is legal \u2014 its use is okay.", "id": 11213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "With sweat streaking, he reached for the bomb.\nHe heard ticking; he tried to stay calm.\nIn the movie scene's hut\nThe director yelled, \"Cut!\"\nWith assuredness, poise, and aplomb.", "id": 11214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Side-by-side the two ships anchored down.\nFrom ship one Seaman Brown left for town.\nFrom the other's crow's nest\nWas heard, \"Keep me abreast!\"\n\"Better yet, I'll keep two!\" wisecracked Brown.", "id": 11215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "While assembling this limerick I found\nThat one rhyme which redounds is wound round.\nFor a perfect example\nOf this you can sample\nLines one, two and five (the -ound sound).", "id": 11216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Fact assimilability's key\nTo succeeding, I think you'll agree.\nFor if you can absorb\nLots of stuff in your orb\nThen a Jeopardy! champ you can be.", "id": 11217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Fidel Castro's head chef is quite stressed,\nFor the penne he cooked coalesced.\nSince the old presidente\nLikes pasta al dente,\nThe chef is now under arrest.", "id": 11218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The brunette, to look more like a belle,\nThought that ash blonde would work very well.\nBut she did something rash:\nMixed peroxide with ash.\nNow the color is ugly as hell.", "id": 11219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Ascosporic kids start out as spores\nEating carbon and dead wood outdoors.\n\"Don't despair,\" grownups say,\n\"Eat that muck, and one day\nAscocarpic physiques will be yours.\"", "id": 11220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The old fisherman simply can't wait;\nHe'd been sick but he's now feeling great.\nHis intestines have healed,\nAnd produced a good yield\nOf ascarides worms for his bait.", "id": 11221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "We found that translations were scanty\nWhile touring through Ghana with Auntie.\nThe signs on the wall\nWere unclear to us all:\nWe could not comprehend the Ashanti.", "id": 11222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "An Assyriological study\nA professor performed with his buddy\nFound cuneiform slabs\nMade by hand, not prefabs,\nThat were written quite clearly while muddy.", "id": 11223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Ablaze! is a book that gained fame\nBy alleging that folks burst aflame.\n\"Was spon-tane-yus combustion\nWhat caused his adustion,\"\nI heard a dim yokel proclaim.", "id": 11224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Hung over, I couldn't abide\nThe headache or nausea, so I'd\nAntidotally use\nA few ounces of booze;\nWithout \"hair of the dog,\" I'd have died.", "id": 11225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The Old Wag is too hard to subdue,\nAnd his acritude keeps coming through.\nHe's too caustic and sharp;\nOn religion he'll harp.\nHe hears Satan announcing, \"Strike two!\"", "id": 11226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "With flu is when I'm at my achiest;\nThe fever and chills make me shakiest.\nIf NyQuil I take,\nOn the floor I will wake,\nFor NyQuil is what makes me flakiest.", "id": 11227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "\"I concur that both words mean the same,\"\nThe Old Wag did agreeingly claim.\nHe is acting these days\nIn enjoyable ways:\nHe's becoming agreeably tame.", "id": 11228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "She thought pasta sauce ought to be red;\nI served garlic and oil instead.\nBut the aglio e olio\nThen caused an imbroglio:\nSpaghetti was thrown at my head.", "id": 11229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A cobbler decided to stay\nIn Achille, a town in OK.\nAs he opened a store,\nHe sent adverts galore\nFor \"Achille's Heels \u2014 Opening Day.\"", "id": 11230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "It's a town in Nebraska, and he\nStarred as Hawkeye in M*A*S*H on TV.\nHere's a third and last hint:\nThis girl sang for a stint.\nThe name Alda applies to all three.", "id": 11231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I love to watch ladies abduct\nIn the exercise class I instruct.\nBut their legs are obstructive\nWhen training's adductive.\nIt's crass, but to quit, I reluct.", "id": 11232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Astrologically speaking, I'm torn,\nAnd all horoscopes leave me forlorn.\nAsk my sign and I answer,\n\"I'm leaning towards Cancer,\nUncertain of when I was born.\"", "id": 11233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Joan approached at a feverish pace,\nAnd she said, showing fear in her face,\n\"The skeeters are feedin';\nI'm bitten and bleedin'!\nThey're aedine\u2014I'm outta this place!\"", "id": 11234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "We're agynous, all of us guys.\nWe're minus those things that comprise\nGirlie parts, like the pistil.\nA plant on a tryst'll\nHitch rides on a bee as she flies.", "id": 11235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A person's agraphic if he's\nQuite unable to write (a disease).\nIf its onset is fast,\nYou won't know when your last\nWords are written\u2026", "id": 11236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The Jolly Green Giant's reprise,\n\"Ho, ho, ho,\" as he's hoeing his peas;\nHis great size and fixed grin,\nAnd his green-colored skin\nStress his alienness, prompting unease.", "id": 11237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "In Amsterdam on a retreat,\nI rescued a dog in the street.\nI was amply rewarded:\nThis score thus afforded\nAssuagement of munchies. Let's eat!", "id": 11238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "One eve, while in Eden alone,\nAdam queried of God on His throne,\n\"You see this adjunction?\nJust what is its function?\"\nSaid God, \"Let me have a rib bone.\"", "id": 11239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The kitten adorably played,\nAnd naively approached, unafraid.\nBut her trust went like that\nWhen I brought the damn cat\nTo the vet, where the tabby was spayed.", "id": 11240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "His assertion was strong as could be.\n\"I'm convinced that on this you'll agree:\nAsseverative is\nA good word for a quiz,\nBut it certainly can't describe me.\"", "id": 11241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A transparent aspirer, undaunted,\nIn the X-ray department had flaunted\nHer desire to be boss,\nWhich she did at her loss,\nFor they clearly saw through what she wanted.", "id": 11242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The ascitic admixture had sapped\nAll her strength and now had to be tapped.\nIn her navel was screwed\nA chrome tap to exude\nSeven quarts, then the spigot was capped.", "id": 11243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If with armament you're not equipped\nFor your soldiers (the guys you conscript),\nIf you haven't some rifles\nOr similar trifles,\nYour army will likely be whipped.", "id": 11244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The comic felt imminent doom\nAs he bombed and spread palpable gloom.\nAs his act was bereft\nOf good jokes, by stage left,\nHe applaudably ran from the room.", "id": 11245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Down the river the pair was agoing.\nThe current was strongly a-flowing\nWhen one of them said,\n\"I see rapids ahead,\"\nAnd like hell they both started a-rowing.", "id": 11246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Beelzebub said, with a smirk,\nAs he read the Old Wag's total work,\n\"It's apparent to me\nThat you'll soon get strike three:\nYou'll be burning in hell then, you jerk!\"", "id": 11247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "\"Little chickens will fall from the sky!\nThey'll infect us, and then we'll all die!\"\nNews of bird flu is read\nBy a dumb talking head,\nBoth of which are in oversupply.", "id": 11248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The Old Wag had been angered before\nBy an Internet outage. What's more,\nHe grows angrier still\nWhen the Net takes a spill\nAnd his self-RFA he can't score.", "id": 11249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My fruit-loving friend from Havana\nWas so happy, he sang a hosanna.\n\"Can you guess what I ate?\nSoft and sweet, it tastes great!\"\n\"Was it blue, Pedro? Java banana?\"", "id": 11250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My : is spastic, no fun,\n& my .'s late, I'm undone.\nShould I # in frustration\n@ life's punctuation,\n/ my wrists, or go ! with a gun?", "id": 11251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An ant and a deer ran away\nTo Las Vegas \u2014 got married today.\nAn author, in fact,\nWrote their tale in one act,\nCalled The Deer and the Ant Elope Play.", "id": 11252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Most modern composers avoid\nOld methods we've always enjoyed,\nBut no grudge do I harbor\nFor Samuel Barber:\nHe's almost as good as Pink Floyd.", "id": 11253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I gave listening to ABBA a whirl\n(Though my friends said their songs made them hurl).\nTo the disco I'm lurching\nTo spend my night searching\nFor Diggin, the dancing queen girl.", "id": 11254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ambidextrous are those, understand,\nWho are facile and skilled with each hand.\nBut the Latin roots say\nThat two right hands have they.\nNot at all what their genes have pre-planned.", "id": 11257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Mutations in genes we unveil\nSo that groups of alleles tell the tale.\nAnd you know it's no lie,\nIf you watch CSI,\nWhen alleles are a match \u2014 off to jail.", "id": 11258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Racial harmony: Come, let us say,\n\"Black and white are at peace for today.\"\nTry disturbing that peace:\nBefore long a police\nBlack-and-white will come take you away.", "id": 11259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "En fran\u00e7ais, mon ch\u00e9ri (parlez-vous?),\nWhen there's many a thing, there's beaucoup.\nFrom that language Romantic\nIt crossed the Atlantic.\nWe use it in English now, too.", "id": 11260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Apathetic. Don't care. Oh, whatever.\nToday, or tomorrow, or never.\nIndifferent, blas\u00e9.\nJust go do it your way.\nWake me up when you say something clever.", "id": 11261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "If your task is antiquing a chair,\nIt's a job that requires some flair.\nFirst distress it just so.\nChange the finish and lo!\nYou have made something common seem rare.", "id": 11262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When a Briton says awlbird to you,\nThen their dialect's rural ('tis true).\nWell, a woodpecker (green)\nMay well be what they've seen;\nOr an avocet, just wading through.", "id": 11263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "A band has three sections, it's true.\nThere are woodwinds, there's brass, and a slew\nOf percussionists\u2014done!\nWhy don't strings join the fun?\nSax and violins simply won't do!", "id": 11264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See two circling stars? Near or far,\nThey're described as one binary star.\nNow there's ones and there's zeroes\nCorralled by geek heroes.\nAre they binary stars? Yes, they are!", "id": 11265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Your new cellphone packs oodles of thrills,\nAnd to use it you've mastered new skills.\nMany features came free,\nBut this dampened your glee:\nActivation \u2014 Your fee's fifty bills.", "id": 11266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Every way you could measure or gauge,\nYour project was once all the rage.\nBut today the boss said,\n\"Now your brainchild is dead.\nIt has reached the abandonment stage.\"", "id": 11268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "Just for bootlessness she can astound.\nShe runs businesses into the ground.\nSimply baking a cake\nTends to cause her to flake,\nBut she's cute, so we keep her around.", "id": 11269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm an out-of-work mathematician\u2014\nNo more numbers and numbing addition.\nLet's face it, it's not\nThat exciting to tot.\n(On the plus side, I get to go fishin'.)", "id": 11270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a sculptural form or motif\nSo obtrusive it's giving me grief.\nI prefer watching TiVo\nTo alto-relievo.\nAt least there's some comic relief.", "id": 11271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are antinoise statutes and laws\nThat have silenced the chain-driven saws.\nNow the neighborhood's quiet;\nWe've ended the riot,\nTo modest and muffled applause.", "id": 11272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My journey had only begun\nWhen I ran for the Senate\u2014and won!\nBut the sessions are tough,\nAnd I can't get enough\nOf the recess: adjournment is fun!", "id": 11273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you study the boats on the bay\nNear this capital's harbor, you'll say,\n\"Setting sail, Annamese\nAre as free as the breeze\nAnd enjoy saying 'Anchors Hu\u00e9!'\"", "id": 11274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A barefisted fight is the kind\nLeaving knuckles and hands in a bind.\nAt the finish they're bruised,\nBlack-and-blue, and contused,\nSo the prizefighter's check can't be signed.", "id": 11275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When your actions are vile as can be\nAnd abhorrent to every degree,\nThen the devil is proud,\nSinging praises out loud:\n\"You're behaving abominably!\"", "id": 11276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Richard Simmons accited the masses\nAnd called them to exercise classes.\nHis summons was heard,\nAnd some millions were stirred\nJust enough to get off of their asses.", "id": 11277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We're stuck on the earth, where I fear\nThe environment's sober and drear.\nSo let's lighten it up!\nHave a drink from this cup!\nAntigravity cocktails are here!", "id": 11278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A numskull who makes an approach\nTo my crown with a plan to accroach\nOr usurp it will need\nA great army indeed,\nOr I'll see that he's squashed like a roach.", "id": 11279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An armada's a very large group,\nLots of troops on the move and the swoop.\nThey can search and destroy\u2014\nOr at times just annoy,\nLike these twenty-two flies in my soup.", "id": 11280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Aaadonta's a genus of snails\nThat move slowly on highways and trails.\nOne has joined Triple-A\nTo prepare for the day\nWhen his double-A battery fails.", "id": 11281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Eighty-nine to a hundred-and-three\nAre the numbers (atomic) we see\nFor these metals that play\nOut in alpha decay,\nLeaving actinide series debris.", "id": 11282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Two pints of her blood have been drawn,\nAnd her color's so wan she looks gone.\nAchromasia is bad,\nBut relief will be had,\nBecause Dracula's leaving at dawn.", "id": 11283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A girl who was pregnant, not due,\nCould not wait for her baby's debut.\nSo a surgeon was called\nAnd a window installed,\nThus creating a womb with a view.", "id": 11286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "__________________________________________\n| When at last opportunity knocks,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0|\n| You must show you're as smart as a fox:\u00a0|\n| Don't be bugged by routine,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0|\n| Let your brilliance be seen\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0|\n| By thinking...\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0| outside of the box.", "id": 11287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Some crewmen rose up with a cry,\nCasting loose loyal sailors, to die.\n\"Your unabashed mutiny\nWill never pass scrutiny.\nYou'll hang for this!\" shrieked William Bligh.", "id": 11288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "When July the 14th comes to pass,\nIn France I shall do something crass.\nI'll fulfill an old wish\nIn a shop that sells fish:\nOn Bastille Day I'll steal me a bass.", "id": 11289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An adversary process, perforce,\nHas opponents at odds, like divorce.\nI've an ex that I dread\n'Cause she left in my bed\nA reminder\u2014the head of a horse.", "id": 11290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "How many lost souls live apart,\nDrained of love? All they need is a start.\nHealing art gives them peace;\nIt's a way to release\nAll the beauty in each wounded heart.", "id": 11291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An attorney is paid for his bark.\nWhen he's in for the kill, he's a shark.\nYou won't like the view\nIf he's headed for you.\nPay up, then he'll find a new mark.", "id": 11292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and jojo", "limerick": "An address is important, my dear,\nTo find out who is who and who's near.\nYou are reached without stress\nBy an e-mail address,\nBut by snail mail it might take a year.", "id": 11293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "JakeVortex", "limerick": "In this byte here all eight of them sit\nFor you see that each one is a bit.\nAn encoding decides\nRight where each bit abides.\nThough once Chaucer would write it \"abit\".", "id": 11294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "My girlfriend, Lucretia Zenobia,\nCame down with severe aquaphobia,\nSo, unlike an otter,\nShe's frightened of water\nAnd moved from Long Beach to Monrovia.", "id": 11295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "When a poet gets swept off his feet,\nAn afflatus uplifting the beat,\nHis Chevy has wings;\nHe forgets minor things,\nLike the light at the end of the street.", "id": 11296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "He was late as I stood by the gate.\nShould I just walk away? Should I wait?\nWhich one should I choose?\nWill I win? Will I lose?\nWill my path through life bifurcate fate?", "id": 11297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "This baguette ain't the one that you know.\nIt's not bread, nor a gem cut for show.\nAt the bottom or top\nOf a column you stop\nWith a moulding which breaks up the flow.", "id": 11298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "His disciples were fishers of men.\nThose they caught in their nets needed then\nTo have somewhere to grapple\nWith prayer, hence the chapel\nCalled bethel: God's house, say Amen!", "id": 11299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "My telescope mounting's ajee;\nIts alignment is off one degree.\nWhen I aim for a star\nMy view's off, but not far\u2014\nThere she is, in her bedroom. Whoopee!", "id": 11301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jantine Bootsman", "limerick": "I crossed the old Styx on vacation\nAnd got trapped in a tight situation.\nThere I found Aides' lair.\nI thought, \"Let's not go there!\nBut sail on to a friendlier station.\"", "id": 11303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It requires an arterial shunt\nFor a curious surgical stunt:\nWhen the humps of a camel,\nThat oddly shaped mammal,\nAre shifted around to the front.", "id": 11304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That serpent seems useless to me:\nHe's bootless and footless and free.\nSuch a snake in the grass\nCouldn't find his own knee\nWith one hand tied behind\u2014Oh, I see.", "id": 11305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our beaver, with nary a quaver,\nChewed branches\u2014whatever we gave 'er.\nThough a fir tasted fine,\nShe preferred a nice pine;\nShe would savor her favorite flavor.", "id": 11306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Amadeus, composing a dirge,\nAnd awaiting what theme might emerge,\nHad no clue what to do\nWhen its theme split in two,\nAnd the dirges began to diverge.", "id": 11308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The black cosmos is not what you think\u2014\nNot a hole in the sky, dark as ink.\nIt's the flowering plant\nThat I got from my aunt\nWhen I'd hoped she would leave me her mink.", "id": 11309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Doing English translations, one's liable\nTo find that the language is pliable.\nAn example I'll state:\nIn 1568\nThe word treacle appeared in the Bible.", "id": 11310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Accommodation \u2014 a room or a space,\nLike a berth or a similar base.\nOur language variations\nMean Yanks say accommodations,\nBut single or not \u2014 just one place.", "id": 11311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Someone brimming with Babbittry bliss\nIs as sexy as Aunt Gertie's kiss.\nThe life that he's made\nIs so prim and so staid,\nHe's a nobody no one will miss.", "id": 11312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "\"Passing gas is not that impolite,\"\nSaid our hostess, her cheeks burning bright.\n\"You have nothing to fear\nFrom a fart blown so near.\nYour anemophobia's trite.\"", "id": 11313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "When your cloth is of fine linen mesh\nTo comport with champagne or cr\u00e8me fra\u00eeche,\nDown each candle you pass\nA neat circle of glass\nFor the wax that may drip: a bob\u00e8che.", "id": 11314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "Aunt Agatha hasn't a peer\nAt ruling the Woosters by fear.\nShe once got so shirty\nAt feckless young Bertie,\nHe stayed out of England a year.", "id": 11315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "An Englishman planning a study\nOf decorous proxies for bloody\nWould lose no time thinking\nOf blooming and blinking\nAnd bally and blighted and ruddy.", "id": 11316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "Attending a benefit show,\n\"Art Deco?\" you muse.  \"Art Nouveau?\"\nThe latter's more curvy;\nThe former, quite nervy,\nMetallic, with plasticky glow.", "id": 11317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "Yosemite's Hotel Ahwahnee\nMay beckon when oak leaves are tawny,\nBut its food and its tone\u2014\nNay, its tchotchkes alone\u2014\nAre not for the fiscally scrawny.", "id": 11318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "When a spirit from Edo takes wing,\nAoyama's the ultimate thing;\nIf your family buries\nYou under its cherries,\nYou're sure of a visit each spring.", "id": 11319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "By the idiom \"Queen Anne is dead,\"\n\"Nothing new\" is implicitly said;\nBut when Anne was alive,\nIn society jive\n\"Queen Elizabeth\" featured instead.", "id": 11320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "The musketeer Count de la F\u00e8re\n(Called Athos) found life hard to bear.\nHis wife lost her head,\nHis son was misled,\nAnd he drank too much.  Still, what an air!", "id": 11321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "The glamor of prewar Peking\nHas faded in modern Beijing;\nBut its kites are still flying\nAnd ducks lushly dying\nAnd peonies glowing in spring.", "id": 11322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kakuzan", "limerick": "The villainous Blofeld was fond\nOf Spectral attacks on James Bond.\nIn print and on screen\nHe has frequently been\nBelieved dead; but we may have been conned.", "id": 11323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Patti Heard", "limerick": "When an actor attempting a leap\nMissed his mark and fell into a heap,\nThe censor (God love her)\nHis mouth could not cover,\nBut hid his loud curses with BLEEEEEEP.", "id": 11324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Clarice, just be strong; don't you fright.\nYou must learn what we need\u2014start tonight.\nEven though Dr. Lecter\nWill goad, tease and hector,\nHis bark is much  worse than his bite.", "id": 11325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "He sees things \u2014 just what, he can't place.\nThat's an object agnosia case.\nBut with prosopagnosia,\nThis person who knows ya\nWon't recognize you by your face.", "id": 11326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Workshop", "limerick": "The ad-men might think we've gone mad here,\nBut will all want to stick in their ad here.\nIf they want a location\nWith vast circulation,\nThe indecent exposure's not bad here.", "id": 11327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A French cuff: that's tricky, methinks,\nWith its folded-back fabric and links.\nI think I'll make do\nWith a button or two\nOn my barrel cuff\u2014elegance stinks.", "id": 11328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My plantigrade quadruped's chest\nSports a badge with his family crest.\nFerociously thorough\nAt guarding his burrow,\nMy badger, a badger, is best.", "id": 11329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "I am often required to abstrude\nRough men whose advances turn lewd.\nThough thrust off this way,\nThey return to the fray\nIn the hope I'll stop playing the prude.", "id": 11330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Acid reflux begins in the tummy,\nCaused by eating too much, like a dummy.\nUnrestrained Christmas cheer\nBrings on heartburn, my dear;\nIt's the price of insidious \"Yummy!\"", "id": 11331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Be. Look. Reach. Poop. Bathe. Turn. Sleep. Cry. Feed.\nPuke. Grow. Walk. Talk. Run. Learn. Dream. Love. Breed.\nLaugh. Change. Fear. Hate. Fight. Stay.\nWork. Drive. Need. Slump. Plead. Play.\nStop. Smell. Shirk. Age. Think. Wait. Ail. Fall. Bleed.", "id": 11332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "The barmbrack's a soft spicy bread\nThat's baked up with currants, then spread\nWith some freshly churned butter.\nYou'll find it an utter-\nly wonderful meal to be fed.", "id": 11333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I can make some allowance, my dear,\nSince you're pretty much new around here,\nBut you don't need a school\nTo learn one simple rule:\nWhen our running back fumbles, don't cheer.", "id": 11334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A body's a physical mass\nOr a group of executive brass;\nIt's an orb in the sky,\nThe physique of a guy,\nOr a corpse in anatomy class.", "id": 11335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Archaeopteryx lies there inert,\nA fossil that's buried in dirt.\nLooking closer you'll see\nIn amongst the debris\nThat his end came while eating dessert.", "id": 11336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "It's the old adiabolist claim\nThat the devil is only a name.\nHe doesn't exist,\nSo you shouldn't insist\nThat he made you ring up an old flame.", "id": 11337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "The first rose of the summer you'll see\nWill be banksia \u2014 blossoming free.\nIts small yellow flowers\nWill smother your bowers,\nAnd it might even climb up a tree.", "id": 11338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "The bacchius deserves now to die.\nIt's one short beat, two long \u2014 and that's why\nIt's a worthless antique,\nFor I don't write in Greek,\nAnd the long and the short don't apply.", "id": 11339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you want to see air pressure traffic\nYou should visit a lab barographic.\nThey record highs and lows\nAnd see how it all goes\u2014\nWeather fiendish or wholly seraphic?", "id": 11340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "For the dipteran (\"two-winger\") fly,\nUsing halteres is what they must try,\nFor without them around\nThey'd just stay on the ground;\nWith these balancers, two wings soar high.", "id": 11341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you look very closely, you'll find\nThat a banstickle fish is three-spined.\nFishy rivals he jabs\nWill be food for the crabs,\nOr at least to the seabed consigned.", "id": 11342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm referring to one with a lack\nOf a method\u2014a phony, a hack.\nA Methodist? Whoa,\nNot a church member, no!\nAn amethodist, plainly a quack.", "id": 11343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When Janis, financial attorney,\nAids multibank officer Ernie,\nShe assures the perfection\nOf clients' protection\nBy building up trust on each journey.", "id": 11344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the braw Scottish township of Perth, a\nYoung lass got a gift.  \"What on earth? A\nBroad collar of lace!\"\nShe remarked, \"In this case,\nI thank heavens it's not a Big Bertha!\"", "id": 11345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Areopagus, I must report\nIs a word of the Ancient Greek sort.\nIt was named for the hill\nWhere it stood, and it will\nBe remembered as Athens' high court.", "id": 11346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our battalion, surrounded by foes,\nFelt besieged, from our heads to our toes,\nAnd 'twas Sergeant O'Day\nFound the right word to say,\n\"Our besetment's the cause of our woes!\"", "id": 11347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a matter is arbitral, you\nCan arbitrate. Somebody who\nIs a trained arbitrator\nWill sooner or later\nHelp amity come smiling through.", "id": 11348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm advocatory; I undertake\nAll the actions best suited to make\nSomeone's interests advance\nIn a court or romance,\nAnd plead not for my own, but his sake.", "id": 11349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A teenager, Billy Joe Brock,\nThe most car-crazy kid on the block,\nThough he drives a jalopy,\nIs safe and not sloppy\u2014\nHis brakes guaranteed antilock.", "id": 11350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Band-Aid's effective when you\nCut your finger\u2014it sticks there like glue.\nBut a band-aid solution\nWon't stop prostitution;\nIt's a measure that simply won't do.", "id": 11351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When power runs low in Nantucket,\nThe power providers don't duck it.\nThey'll build a new cable\nTo Barnstable, able\nTo carry in watts by the bucket.", "id": 11352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my parents got married, they pledged\nTo live happily; both of them hedged.\nNow they're backbiting; that's\nSort of fighting like cats,\nBut with slander, sarcastically edged.", "id": 11353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Perhaps you may find it inviting,\nDelighting, or even exciting.\nLike a warp's lively weft,\nLines run right and then left;\nIt's a boustrophedonic-style writing.", "id": 11354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's a word that is well understood\nWhere the homies hang out, in the 'hood.\nIt's a way to express\nSomething's great, with finesse:\nSaying \"baaad\" when you mean \"extra good.\"", "id": 11355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I feel blessed with a wife who's a pet,\nWith a wife who can work up a sweat,\nWith a wife I can trust,\nAnd a wife who feels lust \u2014\nI feel blessed that the four haven't met.", "id": 11356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the hammer event, a guy's throw\nGave the fans a fine aerial show.\nHis wild screams rent the air\nAs it howled through his hair \u2014\nBut the tosser just wouldn't let go.", "id": 11357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "To get something for nothing's your goal,\nSo you wheedle, inveigle, cajole,\nBeg, borrow and steal.\nYou got it? Ideal!\nYou've blagged it, my friend, without toll.", "id": 11358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An eyeball is nearly a sphere\nAnd its focus is patently clear:\nAn albuminoid lens\nOn which vision depends.\nWith your outlook it won't interfere.", "id": 11359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It resembles a cow? Then it's bovine.\nIf it's sheep-like, you'd say that it's ovine.\nIf a mountaintop fright\nIs abominably white,\nDoes that mean that a yeti is sno-vine?", "id": 11360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Said our newspaper's printing savant,\nThat old typesetting purist, Lamont,\n\"Resolute, I refuse\nTo add cute curlicues\nTo my uncluttered Arial font!\"", "id": 11362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The blastopore's purpose in part's\nTo provide a good outlet for farts;\nThough strangely in some\nIt instead can become\nAn inlet for raspberry tarts.", "id": 11363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "buttonbright", "limerick": "You'll pray for the patience of Job\nIf you've married an agoraphobe.\nIt pains him to face\nThe mobbed marketplace,\nSo he sits round the house in his robe.", "id": 11364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I tot up the legumes with glee;\nJust ask, I'll account for each pea!\nWhether red, white, or navy,\nThis adding is gravy\nTo the little old bean counter:  me!", "id": 11365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"This ain't got THC; it ain't dope,\"\nSwore the man selling bast fiber rope.\nI said, \"Look, even if\nThis here hemp's not a spliff,\nWhile a Bush is the president? Nope!\"", "id": 11366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The eggs of the botfly are bots.\nParasitic, they're laid in prime spots\nIn humans, sheep, cattle\nAnd horses.  Bet that'll\nMean horses end up with the trots.", "id": 11367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "He has shag from his crown to the floor\nAnd he wears just a baldric, no more,\nOr a big bandolier.\nWe revile or revere:\nThis Chewbacca guy's hard to ignore.", "id": 11368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "All the backspin you put on your ball\nMakes it soar, almost float, and then fall\nTo roll back on the green\nInto hole 17.\n\u2014Hole in one again?  Lucky, that's all!", "id": 11369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Antifamily? Surely, you jest!\nKids are great, lady! What I detest\nIs the nonchalant mood\nYou display while your brood\nTears through Kmart like demons possessed!", "id": 11370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "From a diva considered elite\nTo performers who sing in the street,\nAriose means melodic,\nThough\u2014waxing rhapsodic\u2014\nBy any name, still sounds as sweet.", "id": 11371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Once \"A dolt!\" or \"A dunce!\" you could say\nOf a fool, but not now, not today.\nSo to ID a kind\nOf subminiature mind,\nDo you morons think birdbrain's okay?", "id": 11372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My publisher took a big chance\nWhen he paid me a healthy advance.\nBut the work on my book\nWon't advance, so I took\nMy advance and advanced into France.", "id": 11373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "To make borscht, I begin with a beet,\nAdd some vinegar, cabbage\u2014a treat!\nServe the soup cold or hot,\nAdd some cream (just a dot)\u2014\nTo my kitchen they're Russian to eat.", "id": 11374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "As Pirate Jack started to slip,\nHe huffed, and a puff passed his lip.\nAn abrupt \"Holy ship!\"\nWas the aspirate quip\nHe let rip from his lip on his trip.", "id": 11375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Way up high, in the cold Himalaya,\nThe abominable snowman's a playa.\nYou may see only tracks,\nYeti often attacks.\nHimalayan in wait; say a praya.", "id": 11376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ammophilous \u2014 man, it can fool ya.\n\"Loves ammo\" \u2014 a gun that can cool ya?\nThe true meaning's bland;\nIt's \"thriving in sand.\"\nAnd thank you for lettin' me school ya.", "id": 11377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Freely flowed forth my tears in a torrent,\nAs I spoke of that swindle abhorrent\nTo the judge on the bench,\nWho said, \"Act like a mensch\nAnd stop crying; I'll issue a warrant.\"", "id": 11378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "On most golf courses (real swinging scenes!),\nThey plant bent grass for smooth putting greens,\nWhere those with a putter\nCan see if they're utter\nPutt putzes or golfing champeens.", "id": 11379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Take your date to a trendy cafe;\nSeal the deal with a stunning bouquet.\nUsing bear grass as filler,\nRed roses will thrill her\nSo much, she'll ignore your toupee!", "id": 11380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A bondmaid must work very hard\nKeeping house or maintaining a yard.\nShe must always obey.\nShe's a slave; there's no pay.\nIt's a good thing this practice is barred.", "id": 11381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Shmuel", "limerick": "For you, I have passion undying,\nBut to visit is too terrifying.\nI've aviophobia;\nYou're in Nairobi. The\nFear will prevent me from flying.", "id": 11382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'd been searching (for half of my life)\nFor a way to shun worry and strife.\nI'd been stumbling around\n'Til I finally found\nAtaraxia ditching my wife.", "id": 11383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Will Lowry", "limerick": "In a shop in south England I strayed\nAnd suddenly found myself sprayed.\nOnce-liquid perfume\nHad soon filled up the room\u2014\nAtomisers in tandem air raid.", "id": 11384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "There's a minuscule maggot that eats\nWebs of mines in the leaves of my beets.\nIt's the beetfly, you know,\nAnd I wish it would go\nSomewhere else for its larcenous treats.", "id": 11385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hermez", "limerick": "When there's thunder and lightning outside,\nAn astrapophobic will hide.\nAt the first flash and boom,\nHe'll go straight to his room,\nWhere he'll wait for the storm to subside.", "id": 11386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Bob Barker promotes his crusade\nAfter price-guessing games have been played:\nAt the end of each show,\nThis prized host lets us know\nWe should have our pets neutered or spayed.", "id": 11387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There is something experience has taught;\nNo matter what gift you have bought,\nIf it's late \u2014 by one day! \u2014\nShe will think (and p'raps say),\n\"But, of course it's a mere afterthought.\"", "id": 11388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "With blossoms the meadow's aglow;\nFlowers' thoughts we may not ever know.\nMr. Yeats said it sweetly\n(Though abloom would work neatly):\n\"For dreams are the flowers ablow.\"", "id": 11389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With his blunderbuss held to my head,\n\"You'll get wed,\" said her dad, to my dread.\nWho'd have thought that a kiss\nCould have brought me to this?\n'Twas a blunder\u2014that buss\u2014in her bed.", "id": 11390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An autobus stops on my street.\nIt is spacious and shiny and neat,\nBut its route takes it no-\nwhere that I'd like to go,\nSo I always must travel by feet.", "id": 11391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amidol's not on the tab\nFrom my drug-using days.  Try a dab.\nIt won't make you feel loose;\nIt's a compound in use\nIn a photo-developer's lab.", "id": 11392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Once I looked at the wealthy and yearned\nFor a life less banausic, but learned\nThat because I've no trust fund,\nIt's sad, but I must fund\nMy lifestyle with what I have earned.", "id": 11393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aberration that's stellar is daft\nAnd confuses the star-watchers' craft:\nWhen a star's in our sight,\nDue to orbital flight\nIts direction is shifted to aft!", "id": 11394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The ribbon-like bandfish will draw some\nAttention in seabeds.  I saw some.\nThey're big-eyed and thin,\nWith a long dorsal fin.\n(The band Phish, say my nephews, is awesome.)", "id": 11395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The nurse remarked, \"Doctor van Camp'll\nSoon test your bioptic cell sample.\nHe'll comb through your tissue\nAnd find every issue ...\nThat's if your insurance is ample.\"", "id": 11396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "Those antibasilican folk\nThink that monarchy's all a big joke.\nA king or a queen\nAre, to us, both routine,\nBut to those folk, completely baroque.", "id": 11397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Mrs. Bush thought her son bound to fail,\nScoring 12 on Binet-Simon's scale.\nThough he's got the I.Q.\nOf a chimp at the zoo,\nHe's a genius compared to Dan Quayle.", "id": 11398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Every seam is encased, pressed, and creased\nOn her summer dress, sheer pink batiste.\nDesigned for a goddess,\nIts prim pin-tucked bodice\nTops ten tiers of skirting, at least.", "id": 11399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Well, she could be much smarter and thinner.\nShe resembles, a bit, B. F. Skinner.\nHer style's not the latest,\nHer breath's not the greatest,\nBut aside from all that, she's a winner.", "id": 11400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If Carrie or Sherry or Terri\nGo topless for Gary or Barry,\nThe act might be scary\nOr merry (yes, very!)\nBut in England, that's airing the dairy.", "id": 11402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A banneret's leading his knights\nIn one of their regular fights.\nIf he wins, he may yet\nBe a new baronet\nWhen the King performs post-battle rites.", "id": 11403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When there's water to lift, and when you\nHave to lift it, here's what you should do:\nAsk the Ancient Greek schools\nThat devised useful tools \u2014\nArchimedes will furnish a screw.", "id": 11404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a person in perfect control\nOf my future, through goal after goal,\nTheir attainment I slate\nFor a far-distant date\n(When I hope to be out on parole).", "id": 11405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Belladonna, when put in the eyes,\nWill create a delightful surprise.\nEyes become more attractive\nAs the compound, reactive,\nMakes the pupils increase in their size.", "id": 11406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I got to his lab, all his gear\nAnd his chemicals filled me with fear.\n\"Watch me make Bengal light;\nIt warns sailors at night.\"\n(Geez, I thought it was some kind of beer!)", "id": 11407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beurre noir is the stuff that is found\nIn the pan when some butter is browned,\nWhile beurre blanc is a sauce\nThat if fed to your boss\nBrings promotion the next time around.", "id": 11408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Will you get to the point if I push,\nSince my patience is turning to mush?\nIf you come out and say it,\nI might well okay it,\nBut  not if you beat 'round the bush.", "id": 11409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My plant cannot be a provider\nOf shade, as you sit down beside 'er.\nAraneose, fine,\nWith a feminine line,\nShe is shaped like the web of a spider.", "id": 11410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though they're no longer common at all,\nBengal tigers once thrived in Bengal.\nThey're courageous and fierce,\nWith long canines that pierce,\nBut, endangered, their species may fall.", "id": 11411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My son wants to be a big wheel\nIn politics.  Here's how I feel:\nUnless he's a saint\n(And I know that he ain't)\nHe must master The Art of the Deal.", "id": 11412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In medieval warfare and strife\nThe battleaxe saved a knight's life.\nThough it helped him survive,\nHe won't come out alive\nIf he uses that word for his wife.", "id": 11413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Black-a-vised: what an odd sort of way\nFor a speaker of English to say\nSomeone has a dark skin.\nAll those French words came in\nWhen the Normans commenced their long stay.", "id": 11414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A detective is trailing behind me.\nI assume someone's trying to find me,\nBut I'm already found,\nSo I spin right around;\nHe says, \"Please go ahead and don't mind me.\"", "id": 11415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bedstead that stands in my bedroom\nIs lacking both foot-room and head-room.\nIt belonged to Aunt Kate,\nWho was just four-foot-eight,\nSo my husband sleeps out in the shed room.", "id": 11416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A booby's a seagoing bird\nThat looks clumsy on land, and absurd;\nWhile a human-type booby,\nMature or a newbie,\nIn a race between two, comes in third.", "id": 11417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bozo who's taken the blame\nFor the \"outing\" of Valerie Plame\nWill in hist'ry go down\nFor two things as a clown:\nHe's a fall guy and Scooter's his name.", "id": 11418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The criminal crackerjack Cramer\nIs a fraud, I'm afraid. He's a framer,\nTagging me with his crime\nWhen I'm faultless this time!\nHe's a blatantly black-hearted blamer.", "id": 11419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said my hog-raising cousin named Sidney,\n\"Does the membrane that covers the kidney\nOf my pig make you sick?\nIt's the barrow flick!\" Ick!\nDid he say that? Well, did he or didn' he?", "id": 11420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If inheritance (blending) creates\nIntermediate phenotype traits,\nThen what baby'd ensue\nIf two Careys named Drew\nAnd Mariah commingled as mates?", "id": 11421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Love was blind, so I held out my hand\nAs he placed on my finger a band.\nNow we sit on the couch\nWith a microwaved pouch;\nAnd our love, like our dinner, is bland.", "id": 11422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On the floor of a river you'll find\nThat a flounder or sole is designed\nWith both eyes on the right.\nOn the left, they've no sight\u2014\nSo this side is defined to be blind.", "id": 11423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An Irishman's girlfriend, named Flannery,\nWorked nights shelling beans in a cannery.\nIn Belfast, a shell\nFelled her Paddy\u2014the hell\nOf a life filled with rife black-and-tannery!", "id": 11424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though my flowers I love, you'll agree\nAnthophilian sure isn't \"me\";\nIn biology terms,\nThe descriptor affirms\nFlower lover, like thrips or a bee.", "id": 11425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The tropical climate is fine;\nFor arthritis, I cheer the sun's shine.\nThe bingo's relaxing,\nThere's nothing too taxing:\nLet's hear it for Florida!  (Benign!)", "id": 11426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"I'm starving! Where's  dinner?\" asked dad.\n\"Let's have trout from the freezer, or shad.\"\nBut just minnows and perch\nWere unearthed in mom's search.\nAlas, baitfish were all that we had.", "id": 11427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Arrange all the tongues in Bombay\nFrom the highest to lowest cachet.\nLike that infamous caste\n(The untouchables), last\nIs the basilect, linguists will say.", "id": 11428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Astronomers, searching 'til weary,\nDiscovered a noise, then got cheery:\n'Twas cosmic background\nRadiation they'd found,\nSupporting the whole Big Bang Theory.", "id": 11429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If your body's attacked, it presents\nYou an immunogenic defense.\nThat response happens first,\nThen a following burst\n(Anamnestic, it's called) will commence.", "id": 11430, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aminoaciduria? Jeez!\nThis condition's a pain, if you please.\nSeems I'm pissing away\nSo much acid all day\nI'm just basically minding my pees.", "id": 11431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Monophosphate, at least AMP,\nComes from muscles of mammals like me.\nIn this nucleotide\nDifferent molecules hide:\nPhosphate, base, and a sugar make three.", "id": 11432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antibaryons, physicists claim,\nAre like baryons only in name.\nThey're not hard to define\u2014\nJust think opposite sign\nIn the nuclear-particle game.", "id": 11433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are communists plotting a way\nTo contaminate water, I say!\nFluoridation is bad,\nSo I'm anti and mad.\nForget molars! It's moral decay!", "id": 11434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Dialectics are used to arrange\nThe Hegelian process of change\nInto stages\u2014just three.\nIn the middle, we see\nThe antithesis\u2014contrary, strange.", "id": 11435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A marvelous mammal's the beaver,\nAnd, oh, what an overachiever!\nThis builder of dams\nFills the river with jams,\nAnd its name means . . . a hat or a Cleaver.", "id": 11436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I recall the excitement and glee\nOf the Saturday flicks in 3-D.\nWearing glasses, I'd boo\nAt the Indians who\nDrew their bows and shot arrows . . . at ME!", "id": 11437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our cities used buses as tools\nTo balance the races in schools.\nChildren stood at the curbs;\nOthers moved to the burbs.\nAntibusing folks balked at the rules.", "id": 11438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By renouncing your faith, you invite,\nFrom your church, condemnation and spite.\nYes, apostasy's tough;\nEven worse, it's enough\nThat the Lord may be tempted to smite.", "id": 11439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When plants are albescent, they might\nLose their color and turn a bit white,\nUnlike women whose hair\nWould be lighter, but they're\nUsing Clairol's new \"Black-as-the-Night.\"", "id": 11440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antiblack was the driver, and thus\nWe obeyed without making a fuss.\nIn the South it was clear\nNegroes brought up the rear,\nSo we moved to the back of the bus.", "id": 11441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "I went to the pasture to forage\nFor purslane, or maybe some borage\n(For salad, I mean).\nBut nothing was green:\n'Twas December!  I had to eat porridge.", "id": 11442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "In search of a treat asparaginous,\nI waded a marsh mucilaginous.\nIn removing my shoes,\nI'd a bootjack to use\nTo avoid an affliction lumbaginous.", "id": 11443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Manila's municipal planners\nUsed abaca rope hanging banners.\nWe all were amazed\nWhen they also had raised\nA pedestrian walk \u2014 that's bananas!", "id": 11444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "When making Canadian law,\nThe parliamentarians jaw\u2014\nAnd they may take all night,\nIf they happen to fight\nWith the ones from the Bloc Qu\u00e9b\u00e9cois.", "id": 11445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Law", "limerick": "Bahasa (of where?) Indonesia\nIs a language. I don't mean to tease ya',\nBut for vocab and use,\nYou will need a kamus;\n\"Dictionary\", if English would please ya'.", "id": 11446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bimetallist, Bryan was chiding\nThe cross that McKinley was riding.\nTo farmers he pandered\nAnd promised a standard\nOf silver and gold that was sliding.", "id": 11447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "All termites, report to your station!\nStart chewing this house's foundation!\nIts rafters erode\u2014\nIt's abode a la mode\nThrough our biodeterioration!", "id": 11448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A playful young priest from Bavaria\nSaid, \"Here's fifty Euros.  I dare ya\nTo preach Sunday's sermon\nIn perfect High German!\"\nI answered, \"Hey, I'm from Bulgaria.\"", "id": 11449, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Men in space can obtain bird's-eye views\nOf the earth or the moon, if they choose,\nThat no bird ever would,\nFlying high as it could;\nWhat technology astronauts use!", "id": 11450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An actress like Dame Judi Dench\nWill never be left on the bench.\nShe can be Mrs. Brown,\nOr a crone or a clown,\nOr a will-o-the wisp, or a wench.", "id": 11451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "After colleagues cheered Appleton's find\nThat the wireless and sun are entwined,\nHe was honored as well\nBy the Queen and Nobel,\nAnd the Pope followed closely behind.", "id": 11452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He is Irish and calls me his boy-o.\nIt's a word he will often employ-o.\nI think it means \"lad,\"\nAnd that makes me feel bad\u2014\nAs I'm female, it brings me no joy-o.", "id": 11453, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Though my dog is by no means a bad one,\nMy story with him is a sad one.\nHe gives me affection\nBut not much protection;\nI shouted, \"Attack!\"...and he had one.", "id": 11454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Workshop", "limerick": "'Tis the ambrein adding the bliss\nIn the ambergris loved by your miss.\nIt's a cinch to assume\nShe'd adore some perfume\n(Why, it might even earn you a kiss).", "id": 11456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "\"I hate the word bad!\" the man cursed.\n\"Its superlative's s'posed to be worst,\nSo it makes me the saddest\nWhen someone says baddest.\nIrregulars make my head burst!\"", "id": 11457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A student of law read his score\nAnd exulted, \"I'll study no more!\"\nAs the bar exam star,\nHe examined the bar\nFrom his bleary-eyed place on the floor.", "id": 11458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The radar is sweeping the sky,\nSeeking enemy bogeys on high.\nWhen an angel is seen\nAs an echo on-screen,\nIt bedevils my frightened mind's eye.", "id": 11459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm amazed at how easy it is\nTo explain all this technical biz.\nIt's astounding to see\nHow defining can be\nSuch a snap for a limerick whiz.", "id": 11460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I admit I'm a bit suicidal,\nBut call me a fool and I bridle.\nSoon my singing, my smile,\nMy auditioning style\nWill all shine on American Idol.", "id": 11461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a Frenchman contracts mal de mer\nOn the seas, he's in queasy despair.\nBut if flying in planes\nMakes him puke out his brains,\nThen he's airsick with grand mal de l'air.", "id": 11462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'm a bovver boy. 'Ere on me feet\nAre me bovver boots. Don' they look neat?\nWotcher mean, are they levver?\nO' course! I would never\n'Ave bovvered wiv less on this street.", "id": 11463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "If you're ailing, you're terribly sick\nFrom a germ or a bite from a tick:\nFor instance, infections\n(You'll need some injections),\nOr hiccoughs, which mean that you (hic).", "id": 11464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "An abbey's a big type of church\nThat measures a number of perch.\nAll the people in there\nAre deep in their prayer;\nThe Bible is what they research.", "id": 11465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "After lectures, we like to relax\nWith some crumpets and tea for our snacks.\nAs the Cam softly shunts\nAll its square-ended punts,\nWe shall lie on our backs on The Backs.", "id": 11466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Biconcavity: curved on each side,\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0And inward, not out, I provide.\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0See, the narrowest bit\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Round the midpoint will sit.\nAt the top and the bottom, it's wide.", "id": 11467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Biconvexity's easily spied:\n\u00a0\u00a0A body curves out on each side.\nThrough the middle part, bulging\u2014\n\u00a0\u00a0Like snakes through indulging\u2014\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The tips aren't equally wide.", "id": 11468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "What adephagous beetles are found?\nThere are water, and tiger, and ground.\nWith antennae like threads\nOn the top of their heads,\nThey devour all insects around.", "id": 11469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and eris8x6", "limerick": "Sam has idiocy, type amaurotic:\nA regressive, genetic, exotic\nCondition.  Fat plaques\nInduce blindness attacks,\nAnd they render poor Sam idiotic.", "id": 11470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Han Solo takes on Boba Fett,\nIn a carbonite prison he's set.\nSo now pity poor Han,\nThe anthropolith man.\nHe's as stiff as the living can get.", "id": 11471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "No more earthquakes!  I really despise 'em,\nFor there's no way for us to chastise 'em.\nI don't care what some think;\nI say all of them stink:\nShallow temblor or deep bathyseism.", "id": 11472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a budding ballet dancer, you\nMay decide to perform a battu.\nMake your feet come together,\nAs light as a feather;\nCollide, then divide them on cue.", "id": 11473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Absolve means to set free from blame\n(Or acquit, which is nearly the same)\nOne who's falsely accused,\nOr unjustly ill-used,\nWith no actual truth in the claim.", "id": 11474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This anti-environment art\nUses contrast to show and impart\nCertain meaning and sense\nTo surroundings and, hence,\nI'm as lost as I was at the start.", "id": 11475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "You must promise to stifle your snickers:\nI've learned of our randy old vicar's\nDiscreet acquisitions\nOf sev'ral editions\nOf Aertex suspender thong knickers.", "id": 11476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "From the top of the canopy where\nThere's a platform, the tourists all stare:\nThey apically gape\nAt the shape of the ape\nFar below, picking lice from his hair.", "id": 11477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The urbanite started to shudder\nFrom abnormal fear of the udder.\nAs he toured the milk farm,\nTo his growing alarm,\nHe saw one of 'em after anudder.", "id": 11478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Our goal is to be the premier\nCollection of limericks, my dear.\nA blue-sky objective?\nHell, no's the collective\nPerspective of authors found here.", "id": 11479, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "It's worn as a bright colored dot\nBy women \u2014 some married, some not.\nIt's a bindi (from bindu\u2014\nMeans \"drop\" to a Hindu).\nTo accessorize saris, they're hot.", "id": 11480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Assignment: \"Write lims on each word,\nThough most, we are sure, you've not heard.\"\nFor days I stared, blear-eyed,\nAnd drank too much beer. I'd\nBeen shunning the trite rhyme absurd.", "id": 11481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "An infection can make you dyspeptic;\nIn this I believe \u2014 I'm no skeptic.\nWhen germs are a scourge\nWhat most doctors will urge\nIs the use of a strong antiseptic.", "id": 11482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When Jason's friend Jay moved away,\nHe'd not see him for many a day.\nNow that Jay has moved near,\n(This is touching!) it's clear:\nThrough adjacency, Jason sees Jay.", "id": 11483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I have found an archaic contraption\nThat changed with the decades' elapsion.\nIt's lengthened with time,\nAnd is easy to rhyme:\nAdaptation was spawned from adaption.", "id": 11484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My elderly uncle and aunt\nBought a huge aphrodisiac plant.\nTheir attempt was quixotic\nAnd antierotic;\nThough auntie's erotic \u2014 he can't.", "id": 11485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As Britney launched into her song,\nShe wore nothing below but a thong.\nHer derriere's airier;\nThe male fans merrier:\nThey like how she strings them along.", "id": 11486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "At the skeet competition, Ms. Krupp\nAnd her boyfriend had lost the gold cup.\n\"It's your fault,\" he proclaimed.\nSince her kick was well-aimed,\nNow her boyfriend needs help getting up.", "id": 11487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Biunique is my Word of the Day.\nHere the bi- prefix means it's two-way.\nThe -unique part, my son,\nMeans exchange, one-to-one,\nBy unique sets \u2014 of what? They don't say.", "id": 11488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "\"Been injured?\" the billboard shouts out.\n\"Call the office of Weisel & Flout.\nWe'll sue 'em, pursue 'em,\nAnd thoroughly screw 'em\u2026\"\nSome barratrous touts, without doubt.", "id": 11489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "He calls himself \"Japanese Rocky\",\nAnd claims his hometown's Nagasaki.\nBut whenever he'll box\nHe'll absorb lots of shocks,\nFor his head is enormous and blocky.", "id": 11491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A sneak thief who's a.k.a. \"Danny\",\nAnd partner in crime, \"Wet Nurse Annie\",\nAbsconded up north\nWhen a dragnet swept forth\nTo scrutinize each crook and nanny.", "id": 11492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "On the Bering Sea, I saw some floaters;\nTook a bearing, approached, cut both motors.\nThey were herring, these fish,\nAnd they make quite a dish\nLightly salted and smoked. They're called bloaters.", "id": 11493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Ancient Greece told a tale of despair,\nOf a Cyclops who lived in a lair\nAnd had cornered a crew,\nThen had eaten a few.\nHis opinion of Greeks? \"Tough butt fare.\"", "id": 11494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The word of the day is bevue.\nIt means blunder, a screw-up, snafu.\nA usage example?\nLine 1 is a sample:\nI omitted the accent aigu.", "id": 11495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The deck hand was bending down toward\nThe bucket where bait had been stored;\nSplitting pants down the back,\nHe showed way too much crack;\n'Twas abhorred by all anglers aboard.", "id": 11496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You are wrong if you think that Sir Lancelot,\nWhen rescuing virgins, would chance a lot.\nHe sometimes would lance a bit\n(And even advance a bit),\nBut Lancelot mostly would prance a lot.", "id": 11499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Freshly shaved, with his clothes smoothly pressed,\nNathan stepped to the front and addressed\nThe new restaurant's crew\nAs their chef-trainer, who\n(We agnise) grew up teacher gene blessed.", "id": 11500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A small boy in his garden employs\nAntirrhinums as snapdragon toys.\nCrimson petal lips pout\nTill he presses each snout,\nAnd wide open it SNAPS\u2014joyous noise.", "id": 11501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Bremer", "limerick": "A barracker offers a toast,\nOr jeers at an old buddy's roast.\nHe may scoff, he may cheer,\nWhen he's offered a beer,\nThus evoking a rise from his host.", "id": 11502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Bremer", "limerick": "The Kodiak lives life alone,\nWhich sometimes evokes a sad moan.\nHis voice is so deep\nEven fellow bears weep\nUpon hearing his baritone groan.", "id": 11503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "So you have an internal contusion\nAnd blood's made unwelcome intrusion\n(Through leaks that you've sprung)\nIn the space for your lung?\nJust replace it by autoreinfusion.", "id": 11504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was urged to enroll in AA,\nSo I'm here at this meeting today.\nThough it's only my first,\nIt's been quenching my thirst\nFor support, if not rum or Tokay.", "id": 11505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He bridles and yells himself hoarse\nAt tyrants and despots, of course.\nHe's antiauthor-\nitarian\u2014more\nOf a mind to like freedom than force.", "id": 11506, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The amphibian, footloose and free,\nCan inhabit the land and the sea\u2014\nNeither reptile nor fish,\nIt adapts; but I wish\nThat the frog I just kissed were a he.", "id": 11507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My chance of survival is low;\nThis IV is the key to my woe.\nIts drip has just died\nFrom an air lock inside.\nSeems a bubble's preventing its flow.", "id": 11508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The artmobile rolls down the road\nWith its Frenchy impressionist load.\nIt has works by Manet\nYou don't see every day\nIn my jerkwater area code.", "id": 11509, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "An elderly Japanese bonze\nLoved a young English girl \u2014 B.A. (Hons.)\nIn Japanese Studies.\nFood first made them buddies:\nShe liked sushi \u2014 he liked tea and scones.", "id": 11510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Absorb means to soak or take up,\nLike a biscuit or bread in a cup\nThat will soak up the drink\nJust as quick as a wink \u2014\nWhich will mean that you don't have to sup.", "id": 11511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Belly dancing in Egypt is seen\nAs offensive and wholly unclean\nBy some Islamist minds,\nSo one frequently finds\nForeign dancing belles now on the scene.", "id": 11512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Baker", "limerick": "Is AHF present or not?\nIf I'm bleeding, will I form a clot?\nAnd how can I heal\nIf my blood won't congeal?\nYes, it's true that I worry a lot.", "id": 11513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I decided to take apiology\nTo learn more about bee physiology.\nOne unfortunate thing:\nThe nasty things sting.\nI think I might switch to psychology.", "id": 11514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When the Romans had set up a camp,\nAround it they'd oft build a ramp,\nAnd the sentries would stride\nRound this agger with pride,\nThrough the night with a flickering lamp.", "id": 11515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Agamemnon, besieger of Troy,\nReturned to Mycenae with joy,\nBut Clytemnestra, his wife,\nStraight away took his life:\nA sad end for the Greek golden boy.", "id": 11516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When you're lying in bed in a state,\nAgrypnotic and hardly sedate,\nThough your body is numb,\nYou find slumber won't come\nAnd a long night awake is your fate.", "id": 11517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "For his lordship it couldn't be sweeter.\nHis aim didn't wobble or teeter.\nWhen the tally was counted,\nHe'd shot, stuffed and mounted\nTwelve pheasant, six grouse and one beater.", "id": 11518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Agapanthus, the African Lily,\nHas blue or white flowers that look frilly.\nIt means \"flower of love\".\nWell, heavens above,\nWhat's wrong with a rose or a gilly?", "id": 11519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The advantages can't be ignored,\nTo agree and to be in accord.\nSo much better than strife,\nDoubly so with the wife \u2014\nA much quieter life your reward.", "id": 11520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An affix: the part we remove\nFrom, or add to, a word. Let me prove:\nWhen surveillance is tailless,\nThe cops can surveil us \u2014\nBy putting a tail on each move.", "id": 11521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "Ballroom partners might curtsey or bow;\nRoyal subjects may kneel and kowtow.\nThese forms of abaisance\nDisplay one's complaisance\nSuch as manners and custom allow.", "id": 11522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sica", "limerick": "When our passion for secrecy soars\nAnd we want to be rid of the bores,\nIn the alcove we bide\n(A small room to the side,\nInconveniently lacking in doors).", "id": 11523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "In 1919, I bought raiment;\nA bill of exchange was my payment.\nIt read, \"Note to my banks:\nPay the tailor ten francs,\nAnd please do so with little delayment.\"", "id": 11524, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Handy autocomplete saves your wrist.\nType some letters to give it the gist.\nThen hit TAB to obtain\nMatching words: System's brain\nSearches PATH, or a similar list.", "id": 11526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "How often we seek nature's balm,\nIn a lake as serene as a psalm.\nI ought to be glad,\nBut, instead, I am sad;\nAcid rain eats away at the calm.", "id": 11527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Little Mary extracted, near Lyme,\nA curious shell from the slime.\nAmmonitic, her find,\nOf the fossilised kind,\nWas preserved since the cradle of time.", "id": 11528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "For my typing, my favourite face is\nA plain one, no airs and no graces.\nSans serif, this font\nMeets my every want.\nWhy, I even type Arial spaces!", "id": 11529, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "To Meg Beagle's skill I aspire;\nHer artistry couldn't be higher.\nHer meter's perfection,\nAnd her predilection\nFor rhyming I greatly admire.", "id": 11530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "These macaques, known as Barbary apes,\nHave furry but anthropoid shapes\nWith vestigial tails,\nMobile mouths, bluntish nails,\nAnd Gillespian cheeks to hold grapes.", "id": 11531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "An adelopod's very discreet\nWhen it comes to displaying his feet.\nHis dogs aren't transparent;\nThey just aren't apparent\u2014\nEither hidden, obscured, or petite.", "id": 11532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Wine of Kings\" is Barolo. It shines\n(As it should) as a wine that defines\nWhat it means to be loyal\nTo taste, for it's royal:\nIt's often been called \"King of Wines\".", "id": 11533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Robert Holland", "limerick": "Send a valentine card with a dove\nAnd two hearts with a cupid above.\nDon't say \"roses are red,\"\nGo for Romance instead:\nWrite \"amore\" (Italian for love).", "id": 11534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "JakeVortex", "limerick": "Absolution was sought by a glutton\nWhose blue jeans would no longer button.\nHer absolver, the priest,\nSaid, \"I'd diet at least\u2014\nAnd cut out the beer, fries, and mutton.\"", "id": 11535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The anopheles: it's a mosquito\nThat sucks blood from a Tom, Juan, or Vito.\nHer bite ought to scare ya\n(She carries malaria)\nBut the male's just a plant juice bandito.", "id": 11536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "With afterthoughts filling your head,\nYou won't be successful in bed\nWhen longing for sleep.\nYour urge may be deep,\nBut frustration's the winner instead.", "id": 11537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My intestine endured a conniption\nThat felt like a dancing Egyptian.\nDoc said, \"It's the curse of\nYour chili abstersive,\"\nAnd wrote me a little prescription.", "id": 11538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The storm showered rain and winds blew\nForty days and nights ere it was through.\nNoah's ark came to rest\nUpon Ararat's crest,\nAnd then Noah unloaded his zoo.", "id": 11540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "An airgun is (kind of) a gun,\nExcept that it's meant more for fun.\nUse this toy gun with care:\nThough propelled by just air,\nStill the missile could injure your son.", "id": 11541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "An airplane's a useful machine.\nIts flight in the sky is serene;\nIt soars on its wings,\nCarries people and things,\nSo high it can scarcely be seen!", "id": 11542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The accoupling of things can be tricky,\nAnd your bride can become rather picky.\nShe'll have seizures and shocks\nIf you can't match your socks,\nOr your tie doesn't go with your dickie.", "id": 11543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Of acted-out wishes, beware,\nOr you might find yourself in Times Square\nIn the cold and the damp\nWearing only a lamp-\nshade, and otherwise utterly bare.", "id": 11544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When guys play at football for keeps,\nThey tackle and make flying leaps.\nAt the end of each down,\nThey are tumbled aroun'\nAll acervative (piled up in heaps).", "id": 11545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Will my thespian dream come about?\nI don't know; I'm beginning to doubt.\nTell me, what now will cause it\nTo burst from the closet?\nI guess I should just act it out.", "id": 11546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Artillery means heavy guns\nShooting cannonballs off (tons and tons).\nAim bazookas and mortars\nAt enemy quarters\u2014\nWhen the other side sees 'em, they runs.", "id": 11547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A barn owl, learning to hoot,\nMade a toot that resembled a flute.\n\"I will look for a loon\nWho is good on bassoon,\nAnd we'll play cute duets for a coot!\"", "id": 11548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A dyspeptic young floozy named Barb\nBurped belches while doffing her garb.\nShe'd set hearts aflutter\nWith her guttural mutter,\n\"Hey Johnny boy, pass the bicarb.\"", "id": 11549, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Here's a boilerplate limerick style:\nThe rhythm and meter beguile.\nThe lines at the core\nAre too droll to ignore,\nAnd a joke at the end makes you smile.", "id": 11550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "We're anarchists (rules will appall us),\nYet we dress with a smartness that's flawless.\nWe're tailored discreetly\nAnd matched quite completely:\nWe needn't be slobs to be lawless.", "id": 11551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Her beckoning glance had allured me,\nHer luscious red lips reassured me.\nI succumbed to her charms\nAnd fell into her arms,\nBut one whiff of her breath quickly cured me.", "id": 11552, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A bicyclist, widely admired,\nHad raced till he nearly expired.\nHe pushed on and on\nTill his vigor was gone:\nLike the bike, he was simply too tired.", "id": 11553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A middle-class lass (a bourgeoise)\nDisdains to wear corsets and bras.\nHer bust left untrussed\nCauses ladies disgust,\nBut the gentlemen greet her with ahs.", "id": 11555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A practical joker, McGee,\nTook some vinegar out on a spree.\nWhen he mixed it with soda,\nIt made an exploder.\n(His wit is too acid for me.)", "id": 11556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If I were accounted a poet,\nThese sly little verses would show it.\nI'd rhyme all the time\nIn a meter sublime\u2014\nWhen you counted the feet, you would know it.", "id": 11557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Mrs. Hoyle finds her life is sheer toil;\nShe's a bitter, unsatisfied goil.\nHubby's skills she'll berate:\n\"He thinks everything's great,\nBut that's only according to Hoyle!\"", "id": 11558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Aeneas's buddy, Acates,\nHelped him score lots of points with the ladies.\nTo his fling with Queen Dido,\nAcates said, \"Right-o!\"\nBut he skipped his pal's trip down to Hades.", "id": 11559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Since boyhood my conduct's been swell,\nAnd I've never been known to rebel.\nI've been honest and pure,\nBut I'm old now (mature),\nSo it's time to start raising some hell.", "id": 11560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I wuz shovellin' sugar, no sass\u2014\nGotta slap in me face from me lass.\nShe near left me half dead\nOn account of I said,\n\"Hon, you sho gotta load of bagasse.\"", "id": 11561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "From some limericks I wrote 'bout a guy,\nA few readers deduced that I'm shy.\nAutobiographical?\nHeck, no! That's just laughable.\n(I sure won't tell all till I die.)", "id": 11562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "What a toothache!  It's causing you pain.\nWith a filling you'll feel right as rain.\nA bit of amalgam\nIs certainly walgum.\n(That rhyme!  Please don't make me explain.)", "id": 11563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello and SheilaB", "limerick": "If a country makes nuclear threats,\nIt had better be hedging its bets,\nSince the balance of terror\nLeaves scant room for error,\nBut plenty of room for regrets.", "id": 11564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You need circular area?  Gee,\n\"Pi r squared\" always works right for me.\nMet the baker, last night,\nAnd he said, \"That's not right!\nPi r round, as you plainly can see.\"", "id": 11565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Our products have endless variety.\nWe spend with no trace of sobriety.\nThe poor are all nervous,\nWith scant social service.\nThat's us: an affluent society.", "id": 11566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "These limericks are carefully drafted;\nNo rhyme has been cobbled or grafted.\nEach poem defines\nA new word in five lines.\nThey're amusingly, lovingly crafted.", "id": 11567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I'm getting my hair color spruced,\nFor my love life's in need of a boost.\nWith ash blonde's pallid shade\nI will soon have it made\n(I'm brunette, so I'm seldom seduced).", "id": 11568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Achoke's how we used to say smother,\nAs you're tempted to do to your brother,\nOr your sister, or aunt,\nOr your uncle.  You can't,\n'Cause the Bible says, \"Love one another.\"", "id": 11569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "What a biogeographer does\nIs determine where living things was.\n\"How many, and where?\"\nAre his everyday care.\nAnd why does he do this?  Becuz.", "id": 11570, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Oh, Daisy, my Daisy, do tell:\nAre you ready to pedal, my belle?\nThough our bicycling tour\nWon't be stylish (for sure),\nThe wedding guests won't mind the smell.", "id": 11571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The compositor wasn't awake\nAnd for bicocket set a mistake.\nHe invented a word\n(At least that's what I've heard),\nOr is abacot simply a fake?", "id": 11572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "As an actor, I know that I reek;\nMy depictions are truly unique.\nI'm the cheesiest fellow\nIn Shakespeare's Othello;\nAs Iago, I'll be here all week.", "id": 11573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Tell a lie? I could not, ma ch\u00e9rie.\nI'm as honest as honest can be.\nSo you know this is true:\nI've no lovers\u2014just you.\n(Am I begging the question? Not me!)", "id": 11574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My mom's had a shady career:\nIn the Twenties, she brewed her own beer\nAnd then, during the war,\nRan a small secret store\nSelling meat as a black marketeer.", "id": 11575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My verses are just below par;\nThey're eccentric, grotesque, and bizarre.\nDon't review or correct them,\nJust love and collect them\u2014\nAccept them, please, just as they are.", "id": 11576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The annunciate angel did say,\n\"You shall bear us a savior one day.\"\n\"Ah, but how can this be?\nFor I'm pure, as you see.\"\nHe said, \"Where there's a will, there's ave.\"", "id": 11577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Aphrodite is more than a cutie,\nShe's the goddess of love and of beauty.\nTo praise her from Monday\nStraight through until Sunday\nI'd find a delight, not a duty.", "id": 11578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Anonymous writings, I find,\nPut a publishing house in a bind.\nThough the book can't be sweller\u2014\nA likely best-seller\u2014\nBy whom will the contract be signed?", "id": 11579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An amphigam's not too complex:\nHas no flowers; no stems it can flex.\nIt's a plant, it is true,\nBut there's lots it can't do\n(For alas, it lacks organs for sex).", "id": 11580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For a string sound that's graceful and flowing,\nGet all of the bows to-and-froing:\nSome up and some down\nWill make music buffs frown,\nSo be sure to decide on the bowing.", "id": 11581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An accounter's an old-time relater\n(You hope that he's not just a prater):\nHe'll tell you a story,\nRomantic or gory.\nThe term we use now is narrator.", "id": 11582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Before you can go on your way,\nYou'll need achesons plenty to pay.\nIt'll take quite a set\nIf you're trying to get\nFrom Topeka to fair Santa Fe.", "id": 11583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A beguiling young lady from Kent\nDrew attention wherever she went.\nShe had eyes clear and pure,\nAnd a manner demure,\nAnd a nose that was bulbous and bent.", "id": 11584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "\"The drama that's acted will sting\nThe conscience of  Claudius, king.\"\nSo Hamlet believed;\nHe was sorely aggrieved,\nAnd he made a great mess of the thing.", "id": 11585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Poor momma became somewhat shrewish,\nAnd poppa turned pale and then bluish.\nThey wept and they wailed:\nThe bar mitzvahing failed,\nFor the rabbi, it seems, wasn't Jewish.", "id": 11586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The Divine finds her pleadings untenable;\nThey're infrequent (alas, now-and-thenable).\nIf she'd act more suggestible\nAnd a bit less detestable,\nTo her prayers He'd become more amenable.", "id": 11587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I'm inviting you all to my bash.\nIt's my birthday, so let's make a splash.\nI am hoping you'll come:\nWe can drink till we're numb!\nAnd don't bother with gifts, just bring cash.", "id": 11588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They're arraigning an angel in heaven\nWho's charged with purloining the leaven.\n(This arraigning has airs\nWith its five letter-pairs\u2014\nScintillescent is said to have seven.)", "id": 11589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A fiber that's toxic to man;\nA substance we're starting to ban;\nA mineral mined.\nAnd now I've defined\nAsbestos as best as I can.", "id": 11590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When you're sure that this gal is the one,\nSend a valentine second to none.\nCarve a pattern of art,\nSmear with ink, stamp\u2014a heart?\nBlock printing's creative, and fun!", "id": 11591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I'll take this advantage to claim\nCertain words often don't mean the same,\nFor advantage means more\nPlaying tennis; the score\nTranslates, \"Take the next point \u2014 win the game!\"", "id": 11592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A balance gives relative weights\nBy comparison, using two plates,\nOr results from accounting\nThings waning or mounting,\nLike money or energy rates.", "id": 11593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "So my big chance has come and I know it.\nI've the talent and now I must show it.\nI must try my best\nFor this is the test.\n(Oh, my God! I just know that I'll blow  it!)", "id": 11594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "A malodorous three-petaled flower\nGave astringent relief in the hour\nOf a mother's travail\nOn the pioneer trail;\nIt's called birthroot because of its power.", "id": 11595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Algolagnia's just a diversion,\nA certain behaviour excursion,\nIn which flagellation\nGives gratification.\nCould that be described as perversion?", "id": 11596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "No matter how blue you are feeling,\nYour smile's always healthy and healing.\nIf each verse you read here\nHelps you shed one less tear,\nThen your life should become more appealing.", "id": 11597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A billet's a place soldiers stay\nWhile they're earning their soldierly pay.\nIf a farmer's the host\nWith a daughter to boast,\nTheir payday will come in the hay.", "id": 11598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Now don't blame your sweat, it's not fair;\nIt's bacteria stinking up there.\nUndergo electrolysis:\nBacteriolysis!\nThere! Doesn't that clear the hair!", "id": 11599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "Pete peed and then started to flush,\nAnd was seen by Belinda, ablush.\nHer face turned bright red,\nAnd her insides were lead;\nNow they're keeping the story hush-hush.", "id": 11600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "The solution was abietinic,\nAnd its stickiness shocked the whole clinic.\nIt's a resin, you see,\nThat comes out of a tree\n(And defined here, unless you're a cynic).", "id": 11601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "James J. Andrews first hijacked a train\nFor a search-and-destroy type campaign,\nBut the Rebels soon caught him.\nTo prison they brought him,\nWhere treatment was far from humane.", "id": 11602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "One summer when plants were adorned\nWith the flowers that winter had scorned,\nMy girlfriend said, \"Here\nIs a rose for your ear.\"\n\"No thanks, it's too thorny,\" I yawned.", "id": 11603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Is Hester in truth to be blamed\nFor her sex games which cannot be named?\nGood vibes? I confess\nI would rather know less.\nIf I blush it's because I'm ashamed.", "id": 11604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A couple of cops harassed Hester,\nAnd took quite some time to suggest her\nStrange sexual feats\nWere best kept off the streets,\nOr if not they would have to arrest her.", "id": 11605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The condition acute akinesia\nIs very unlikely to please ya.\nYour muscles all stop\nAny movement, you drop\nLike a stone, and your breathing gets wheezia.", "id": 11606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "If you begged for an abergavenny,\nAnd I said that I hadn't got any,\nYou would think I was mean.\nYou'd be right. I'll come clean\u2014\nIt's just old London slang for a penny.", "id": 11607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My eyeballs feel coated in butter\nAs I decompose here in the gutter.\nHas drink made me blind?\nMy head's pounding; \"What kind\nOf an alcoholysis?\" I mutter.", "id": 11608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As Macbeth worked his way to the top,\nHis old mates, and the king, got the chop.\nBut, when dead Banquo's ghost\nCame to call on his host,\nAll the banqueting just had to stop.", "id": 11609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "\"Hail Caesar! I have to relate\nThe barbarian's here, at the gate!\nHe's dirty, he's savage,\nHe's ready to ravage.\"\n\"I'm bathing. Please ask him to wait.\"", "id": 11610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Suppose you approach acholuria?\nThe look of your pee is manurier.\nYour doctor may smile\nAnd say that your bile\nIs disturbed for a while. He must cure ya.", "id": 11612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I thought they had just gone astray,\nBut a cow thief had taken away\nEvery cow from my herd.\nFor this felon the word\nIs abacter. We'll hang him one day.", "id": 11613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My mother thought, \"Vyvyan's nice,\nLet's call the boy that.\" Dad's advice:\nThus baptismally named\nI'd be dismally shamed;\nThe result? My name's Cheepatha Price.", "id": 11614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Acts of faith, as the phrase would suggest,\nSurely give your convictions a test,\nBy potentially ending\n(As signs are portending)\nIn injury, death, or arrest.", "id": 11616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A birdbath's a water-filled basin\u2014\nAn avian gathering place in\nWhich birds sit to drink\nOr to bathe, and I think\nIt's where lovebirds could meet for embracin'.", "id": 11617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "So true is the saying whereby\nJudging beauty depends on the eye\nOf the captive beholder\u2014\nMore apt when you're older.\n(Your vision is worse then, that's why.)", "id": 11618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "arnie", "limerick": "There was a young man from LA\nWho swallowed his beer the wrong way,\nWhich started him coughing,\nAnd friends in the offing\nAll found themselves covered in spray.", "id": 11619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alloplastically mankind is molded,\nBy external environs enfolded,\nAs happens to cells.\n(You might notice five L's\nIn the word in line one that is bolded.)", "id": 11620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When the author's wrapped up the whole plot,\nAnd the book's done down to the last dot,\nThere's the afterword still\nAs a place he can fill\nWith the little things that he forgot.", "id": 11621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Of the five on each foot in a row,\nIt's the largest and innermost toe.\nFor this reason I would\nSay that big toe is good;\nAs a name, it is most apropos.", "id": 11622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "With tap dancing, problems are posed,\nAnd ditto with picking his nose.\nGold rings he can't wear,\nNor tiptoe to scare.\nAdactylous: no fingers or toes.", "id": 11623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "If you're planning to speak to the bargeman\n(That gruff and exceedingly large man)\nTo charter his boat,\nYou had best get your quote\nThrough a dame, so he won't overcharge, man.", "id": 11624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"How I long for a tall ball of malt!\"\nSaid the salty old Irishman, Walt.\nAt the pub he remained\nWith his whiskey glass drained,\nTill a mate brought his drought to a halt.", "id": 11625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "A young anarchist, code name \"Black Tom\",\nThrew a bomb with a certain aplomb.\nBut it failed to explode;\nIt just lay in the road.\nYou could say Tommy's bomb was a bomb.", "id": 11626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "We set off to fish before dawn,\nCome home with our cod in the morn.\nGirls fillet the catch,\nThen salt the whole batch\nAnd spread them to dry on the bawn.", "id": 11627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "Hair aerification recalled\nFrom my youth leaves me sad and appalled.\nI would run city blocks,\nFeel the breeze in my locks \u2014\nNow no air's in my hair, 'cos I'm bald.", "id": 11628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Linguistically meaning \"related\",\nThe use of the word's been inflated.\nTo be merely akin\nYou need not be within\nThe same family now, as we've stated.", "id": 11629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In Victorian times, without fail,\nGentlewomen so fragile and pale\nWere attended by lasses\nFrom less genteel classes,\nCalled abigails (never a male).", "id": 11630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Egg's addled? You'll easily tell,\nThe moment you've opened the shell.\nThough you won't want to eat it,\nYou might want to \"beat it\"\nAway from both kitchen and smell.", "id": 11631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "Your swing is abysmally slow,\nWhich the pitcher and catcher both know.\nEvery time at the plate\nYou receive the same fate:\nThree fastballs, three strikes\u2014down you go.", "id": 11632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "1516puzzle", "limerick": "Bimillennial parties are great,\nBut for 2,000 years, you just wait.\nSee, the last one we threw\nWas in... what... '92?\nAnd before that, in B.C.E. 8!", "id": 11634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "A Scotsman from west Aberdeenshire\nWhen dining was offered some beans or\nA plateful of haggis.\n\"To fart or to gag is\nMy evident fate,\" said the lean sir.", "id": 11635, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "All the show business types are abuzz \nWith what (who) some celebrity does.\nOn and on they all natter.\nThey gossip and chatter,\nNot caring just what the truth was.", "id": 11636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "Apocryphally, Dwight likes to write\nMany grant letters late in the night.\nThey have many a fact\nThat ain't close to exact,\nWith no credible sources to cite.", "id": 11638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "The power to see words and read,\nThis disorder of brain does impede.\nShould writing perplex ya,\nYou might have alexia,\nMaking useless both novel and screed.", "id": 11639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "All the beachgoers flock to the sand\nAt the place where the sea meets the land.\nBy the time I get there,\nThere's no room anywhere\nSo I head to salons to get tanned.", "id": 11640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Grown in alkaline regions, berseem\nIn the desert's a ruminant's dream,\nSince it's succulent clover;\nBut, thinking it over,\nIt can't taste good, even with cream.", "id": 11641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "You should not, IMHO, be proud\nWhen you write that you're LOL.\nIt is way too abstruse,\nAnd there's no good excuse \u2014\nLOL when you read this out loud!", "id": 11642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Past the Pecos, the legends report,\nHis saloon came to serve as the court.\nWith his gun and one book,\nNo debate would he brook.\nJudge Roy Bean brought 'em peace, of a sort.", "id": 11643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The Aylesbury's a kind of white duck,\nThough I can't say I fancy its luck.\nIt's a good meaty bird\nAnd it is, so I've heard,\nQuite remarkably easy to pluck.", "id": 11644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I am shocked that my rep's been besmirched\nJust because from that tavern I lurched.\nI'd but tripped on a keg,\nThereby breaking my leg,\nWhile a thesis on rum I researched.", "id": 11645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In cities with streets upon streets,\nAnd cross-streets, which each of them meets:\nWatch rectangles form\n(Not squares, as the norm)\u2014\nCalled blocks, as the pattern repeats.", "id": 11646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "I've got dough, but I'm stumped:  what to buy?\nGuess it's time to join AAII.\nThey will help me invest\n(Up to now I've just guessed)\nSo my kids will get bucks when I die.", "id": 11647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "My tiara and gown you admire;\nMy diamonds catch light from the fire.\n  I dream every day\n  Of attiring this way,\nBut my wife says I fail to inspire.", "id": 11648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abrogation means treating as void\nAll those treaties we don't want deployed.\nAt Guantanamo Bay\n(Many neocons say),\nThe Geneva convention annoyed.", "id": 11649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Soon an envoy from Rome will appear\nTo anoint a new cardinal here.\nThis ablegate's mission\nIs to bring, by tradition,\nThe insignia of office, my dear.", "id": 11650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Averse is a word that I curse.\nIn speech it sounds pompous, or worse.\nBut I'll use it sometime\nIn a limerick, for I'm\nNot averse to averse in a verse.", "id": 11651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "Come December, Americans pine\nFor a Christmas tree: top-of-the-line,\nAromatic and green,\nWith a slight greyish sheen.\nHence our balsam fir forests decline.", "id": 11652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When azan the muezzin must call,\nFrom the mosque's stately minaret tall,\nIslam's people will pray\nTheir five times every day;\nIt's a summons to prayer cried to all.", "id": 11653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Attenuate anything long,\nIt grows slender. The word is used wrong\nIf, when you ask me when you ate,\nI answer, \"Attenuate.\"\nSuch jokes in the trashcan belong.", "id": 11654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An aition serves to relate\nHow religious observances rate\n(What their origins show).\nI've no aitia, though,\nWhy liturgical rites are ornate.", "id": 11655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What is autoplasticity? Man\nAnd his psyche internally scan\nWhat's external and deal\nWith the world that is real.\n(I've defined it as well as I can.)", "id": 11656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The first antidetonant, lead,\nDid horrible things as it spread\nFrom our cars to our plains,\nInto little kids' brains.\nNow we use safer octanes instead.", "id": 11657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The classic Acheulian axe\nHelped hunting skills reach a new max:\nJust a rock 'til it's cracked\nBy deliberate act,\nThe first of the great human hacks.", "id": 11658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Ab, ad, aa, ag, ah, ae, am, ai,\nAl, an, ar, as, at, aw, ax and ay\nIs the list of the two-\nLetter A-words that you\nBetter know if at Scrabble you vie.", "id": 11659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When Johann Sebastian, Herr Bach,\nWent to Scotland, he gruffly said, \"Ach!\"\nHis bold interjection\nExpressed disaffection:\n\"That fetid miasma's a loch?\"", "id": 11660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our coach bellows out, with a shout,\nWhat his ball control plan is about.\nHis football obsession\nIs time of possession;\nOpponents, defending, wear out.", "id": 11661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though the green, to his credit, was knobbly,\nHis putts were consistently bobbly.\nAs they lurched to the flag\nLike a drunk on a jag,\nThey were jumpy, uneven, and wobbly.", "id": 11662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "For those who consider it antic\nTo dabble in matters semantic,\nI suggest that you study\nThe words that you muddy\nThat seem ill-informed or pedantic.", "id": 11663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "An unfortunate lady named Ella\nWas given the push by her fella\nOn account of B.O.;\nShe just didn't know,\nBecause her best friends wouldn't tell her.", "id": 11664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "With Dennis the Menace and Gnasher,\nThe Beano was always a smasher.\nThe Numskulls, Plug, Billy,\nEt al. were all silly.\nWhen Minnie came up, I would Bash 'er.", "id": 11665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"The current now flows in the flask!\"\n\"Will it change as you titrate?\" you ask.\nThe chem-tutor's pet trick\nWas an amperometric\nTitration (a tedious task).", "id": 11667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "This amylum (starch that's in fruits,\nAnd in seeds, tubers, stem pith and roots)\nIs a part of your food,\nBut has come to be viewed\nAs a crime by the Atkins recruits.", "id": 11668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"For these high parts, your sax must sound sweet!\"\nHe exclaimed as he jumped to his feet.\n\"Your altissimo notes\nSound like castrated goats,\nAnd your pitch, like a bloodhound in heat.\"", "id": 11669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Altaic has caused much ado.\nIt's a language group some would eschew.\nThey would deem hyperbolic\nClaims linking Mongolic\nTo Tungusic and Turkic tongues too.", "id": 11670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you run lots of marathons, know\nYou might not have a menstrual flow.\nYou'll be feeling just fine,\n'Cause the syndrome's benign:\nAmenorrheic, it's just a no-show.", "id": 11671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "\"I am truly fantastic,\" he writes,\n\"A prince among men,\" he recites.\nI doubt he can tell\nHow we all say his swell\nAutohagiography bites!", "id": 11672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An art form means jazz or ballet,\nOr pottery made out of clay,\nOr fictional tomes,\nOr paintings or poems,\nOr crafting the perfect toupee.", "id": 11673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "As the Limerick Enlightenment grew,\nDostoevsky was versified too.\nThere was venting of spleen.\nStrolin should have foreseen\nRhyme and Pun-ishment's acrid review.", "id": 11674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"Also known as\" is also known as\n\"A.k.a.\", but for extra pizzazz\nIn an internet room,\nChoose a new nom-de-plume \u2014\nAn alias with more razzmatazz.", "id": 11675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Intelligence can be overrated.\nIt's better to be addlepated.\nDon't be too dejected:\nIf little's expected,\nThe crowd is more easily sated.", "id": 11676, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Perhaps I don't eat enough greens,\nOr it may be a fault in my genes,\nOr a momentary seizure,\nBut defining amnesia,\nI just don't recall what it means.", "id": 11677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Some fellows will run for a mile\nTo avoid a short walk down the aisle \nWith one of those misses\nWhose caresses and kisses\nAre set to bewitch and beguile.", "id": 11678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A banana, removed from its peel,\nWill be seen to resemble an eel.\nThis anguilliform shape\nMust be loved by an ape,\nFor he eats it so fast, it's unreal!", "id": 11679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "You'd been missing for nigh on ten years,\nAnd I'd long since accepted my fears.\nThen a letter from you\u2014\nWhat a bolt from the blue!\u2014\nWas delivered; my eyes blurred with tears.", "id": 11680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The abortus, no subject for jest,\nIs a fetus whose life is not blessed\nWith completion to term,\nSo on this I am firm:\nSolemn tone for this topic is best.", "id": 11681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cherydactyl", "limerick": "Searching archives, the bibliotist\nRead papers perhaps best dismissed.\nBibliotics decoded;\nHis theory exploded.\n\"Brahms' Lullaby\" wasn't by Liszt.", "id": 11682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "A man ran along with his dog;\nThat means that they both were ajog.\nTheir gait was quite swift\n(It was fast, get my drift?),\nBoth jogging along in the fog.", "id": 11683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I'm an amberjack. Yes, I'm okay.\nI can swim all the night and the day.\nI'll politely decline\nIf you feed me a line,\nAnd those fishnets are far too risqu\u00e9.", "id": 11684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "On the page, the ink blobbed in a pool.\nHis calligraphy style is not cool.\nAnd for writing his note\nWhile he's feeding his goat,\nThe calligrapher's quite a big fool.", "id": 11685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "Back in college the goals, one might find,\nWere the sort that professors maligned:\nTo give out the most hugs,\nOr to do the most drugs.\nThe intent was quite clear: blow one's mind!", "id": 11686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "You abduce when you stroke as you swim.\nYou abduce when you splay in a gym.\nYou abduce, you attest,\nYou tell what you know best.\nYou abduce on a kidnapping whim.", "id": 11687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When a substance is termed amphiprotic,\nIts behavior is somewhat quixotic:\nBoth an acid and base,\nIt has more than one face\u2014\nNot exactly insane, but neurotic.", "id": 11688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Good designers, on laser or vid,\nAnti-alias lines on a grid.\nRun a digital smear\nAnd the jags disappear;\nWith this lie, ugly truth can be hid.", "id": 11689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Take arma-, and add DILLIDIIDae\nFor a word that I use with sobriety.\nIt refers to a bug\nThat rolls up like a rug.\n(Roman numerals bring notoriety.)", "id": 11690, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Acadia Park, up in Maine,\nHas forbidding and rugged terrain\nDuring winter\u2014but then\nWhen it's summer again,\nWe Down Easters no longer complain.", "id": 11691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "If they forced Edward's army to turn\nBack to England, their freedom they'd earn.\nThough the Scots were outmanned,\nBruce had brilliantly planned\nTheir brave win by the strand Bannockburn.", "id": 11692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though my profs say I'm acting aversively,\nThey assure me they don't think the worse of me.\n It's no fault of my own\n That I've never been shown\nThe appropriate way to write cursively.", "id": 11693, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Although some folks are physically fit,\nI lack muscles; this fact I'll admit.\n But when co-workers name me\n As \"Amyous Amy\",\nIt bothers me just a wee bit.", "id": 11694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I'm a maven of fashion design,\nSo my tops are the top of the line.\n This one shapes to entice.\n As for yours, corset's nice,\nBodice not as revealing as mine.", "id": 11695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The antidepressant I use\nQuickly banishes troubles and blues.\nTake an SSRI;\nYou'll be flying up high.\nIf you're quick on the uptake, you lose.", "id": 11696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ants assemble at arms and advance\nAgainst apes all absconding askance.\nAfter aardvarks arrive,\nAntsy apes (all alive)\nAssert, \"Arrogant antsholes are ants!\"", "id": 11697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Cruella demanded creation\nOf fur from the darling Dalmatian:\nA coat she could flash\nOr float for good cash,\nEmbodying animalization.", "id": 11698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "What's the sense of the suffix -agogue?\nIt's \"...to draw or to lead from (...a fogue?)\".\nIf this gives you no clue,\nTake a place in the queue.\nWe are waiting agogue for some grogue.", "id": 11699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The authorized spelling for me,\nAn American, uses a zee.\nBut since Brits use instead\nA plain ess, not a zed,\nWe must authorize \"authorise\", see?", "id": 11700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The baby lets out a big cry\nWhen the milk from his mama runs dry.\nIt's a clear diagnosis\nOf agalactosis;\nA bottle's the cure, I reply.", "id": 11701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "The archaeolithic is viewed\nAs an age that was brutish and crude.\nIt's hard to believe\nWhat there was to achieve\nCould go much beyond mating and food.", "id": 11702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The vet viewed the tiger's great maw\nAnd said, \"Lockjaw is this kitty's flaw.\nAnkylostoma here\nIs the problem, I fear.\nThere's a big rusty nail in his paw!\"", "id": 11703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "A hypertense fatty named Fazim\nWas struck by an angiospasm:\nAn arterial pinch.\nHe was shy just an inch\nOf a fall into Death's yawning chasm.", "id": 11704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Each army established a base,\nAnd then marched to the middle to face\nOne another in war\nAt the battlefront, or\nRoughly, \"zone where the combat takes place.\"", "id": 11705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Morning drivers, beware of the fog;\nMidnight prowlers, beware of the dog.\nAnd tourists, I'll warn ya:\nIn south California,\nTake caution\u2014beware of the smog.", "id": 11706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In the football Americans play,\nThe blockers will get in the way\nOf the tacklers pursuing\nThe runner, who's doing\nHis best to break free from the fray.", "id": 11707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Bentham's principle resonates still\u2014\nAct to make the world's happy cups fill:\n Bring more pleasure to man.\n This utility plan,\nMuch like grist, was refined by the Mill.", "id": 11708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Take ions of sulfate and mix\nThem with barium. You get blanc fixe;\nUsed in pigment and plastic\nAnd (this is fantastic)\nFor clear GI tract X-ray pics.", "id": 11709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I can state it with perfect veracity,\nMy bladder has no great capacity.\nOn the bus, homeward bound,\nI've a wish that's profound\u2014\nThat I'd drunk with less rugged tenacity.", "id": 11710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "'Cross the moor came a blood-curdling sound.\n\"It's the hound!\" cried poor Watson, \"The hound!\"\nBut then Holmes, through the fog,\nScoffed, \"It's only a dog!\nAnd we'll soon drag him off to the pound.\"", "id": 11711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "Whether pinecones, or branches, or sap,\nOr the paper that's used in a map\nThat can guide you with ease\nThrough a forest of trees\u2014\nNaming arborous things is a snap!", "id": 11712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Where's my landlord?  I wish I could phone her.\nI'm not a complainer or moaner,\nBut she's never around\nThough my plumbing's unsound.\nJust my luck \u2014 she's an absentee owner.", "id": 11713, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I stood in the courtroom admitting\nTo crimes I'd spent decades committing.\nDespite my repentance,\nThe judge said, \"Your sentence\nIs life!\" I just answered, \"Befitting.\"", "id": 11714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "There are many things you can appoint \u2014\nLike the time to meet friends at some joint.\nOr if you're a big cheese,\nYou'll select, as you please,\nThe advisor you wish to anoint.", "id": 11715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Advancers are stocks on the rise.\nThey're attractive, some brokers advise.\nBut to own them you'll pay\nA lot more than you may\nFor decliners\u2014the savvier buys.", "id": 11716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Abstruse mathematical terms?\nI avoid them like virulent germs!\nLook up anallagmatic?\nI'm downright emphatic:\nI'd rather go out and dig worms.", "id": 11717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Black locust's the kind of a tree\nThat's familiar as coffee or tea\u2014\nNot a plague that would harrow\nThe Biblical pharaoh\u2014\nThe tree whose first cousin's a pea.", "id": 11718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a group that I'm proud I'm among:\nThe employers of palate and tongue\u2014\nWe're big eaters! I'm glad\nThat I'm one of the bad,\nBecause only the good diet young.", "id": 11719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's Aeaea, the Island of Dawn,\nWhere Odysseus brandished his brawn\nIn a battle with Circe.\nRemoving her curse, he\nTurned swine back to men and was gone.", "id": 11720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Police in Japan might report us\nFor harvesting shells from a tortoise.\nThey'll hang from a necklace\nUnless we are reckless\u2014\nThen bekko protectors will thwart us.", "id": 11721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our alphabet pretty well fits\nIn the Baudot code's five little bits.\nThough the meaning's been changed\nAnd the codes rearranged,\nToday's deaf still aren't calling it quits.", "id": 11722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "In Babel of Biblical fame,\nThey wanted to make them a name\nAnd consolidate power\nBy building a Tower \u2014\nTo reach to the heavens, their aim...", "id": 11723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Omani rial now comprises\nA thousand diminutive baisas.\nAnd the guy in the bar\nSaid their malls are bizarre!\nThis place is just full of surprises.", "id": 11724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My dog has large splotches of black,\nWith some white in the mix, on his back.\nWith his badger-pied marking,\nMy beagle's embarking\nOn barking, in search of a snack.", "id": 11725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Victorian critics campaigned\nTo get baby-farm owners arraigned\nAnd said daycare for profit\nWas greedy, \"Get off it!\nWe need it!\" the mothers complained.", "id": 11726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A tree-dwelling panda perceives\nThat the bagworm, a moth larva, weaves\nA silk casing that's strewn\nWith small twigs; a platoon\nIn his tree likes to eat shoots and leaves.", "id": 11727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Bahuvrihi: a compounded word,\nSuch as lamebrain or hotdog, I've heard.\nAnd as Vlad of Murmansk writ,\nIt comes from the Sanskrit\nMuch rice, which he thought was absurd.", "id": 11728, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"The flounder's amazing, I think,\"\nSaid my waiter, suppressing a wink.\nThen my appetite slackened\u2014\nHe whispered, \"It's blackened\nWith boot polish, sulfur and ink.\"", "id": 11729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm amychophobic, so natch,\nI'll say no to a wrestling match,\nTo a pinch or a push,\nOr a thorn-bearing bush;\nI am deathly afraid of a scratch.", "id": 11730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "If you ever would like to relate\nAn objective's least aberrant state,\nChromatic or spherical,\nFor data empirical,\nGo grab a cheap Abbe test plate!", "id": 11731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Where's my mouse?\" I cried.  \"Oh!  On the floor!\"\nAnd the ditz made a dash for the door.\nI've no fear, she'll come 'round \u2014\nLike that file never found,\nShe is clueless, offline, 404.", "id": 11732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Refuting Lamarck's silly lark\nIs, for Darwin, a walk in the park,\nBut the Baldwin Effect\nMakes us tend to expect\nThat some learning, on genes, makes a mark.", "id": 11733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "While not always the closest of clashes,\nThis year has seen plenty of smashes.\nThey've given their all\nWith the bat and the ball.\nCould England, at last, win the Ashes?", "id": 11734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On this day, thirty winters ago,\nIn a halo of blizzard-blown snow,\nWe got married in Queens,\nSo you know what that means,\nMy beloved, we're royalty, no?", "id": 11735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Providencia's deep pirate caves\nHid a Scot and a Pole and twelve slaves.\nWhen some gene-swaps occurred\nThese distinctions got blurred:\nAssimilative acts saved the knaves.", "id": 11736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jholtzman", "limerick": "I've come to a cynic's conclusion:\nOrthodontists are all in collusion.\nThough your teeth may be straight,\nThey will greedily state\nThat you have an abnormal occlusion.", "id": 11737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The word barbarize means \"become crude\nIn your language, behavior, or mood.\"\nThus, the barbarized fiend\nNeeds to have his mouth cleaned\nOut with soap, since his cursing is rude.", "id": 11738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Said a meteorologist, Heather,\n\"Barometric and pressure, together,\nForm a measure, you know,\nBe it high, be it low,\nThat we study to forecast the weather.\"", "id": 11739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My father-in-law, name of Lionel,\nBorrowed all of my records in vinyl.\nHe destroyed my collection;\nI'm screwed to perfection\u2014\nCan't sue him because we're affinal.", "id": 11741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bank? He attempted to rob it.\nThe bomb? He attempted to lob it.\nNow Baggins's ankles\nAre shackled, which rankles\u2014\nA bilbo's attached to this hobbit.", "id": 11742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An anal retentive is not\nA person admired a lot\nFor getting things done\nWhen he's under the gun,\n'Cause his anus is tied in a knot.", "id": 11744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A public and crowd-pleasing gaffe\nOccasioned a general laugh\nWhen a knight at a joust\nArrived patently soused,\nWith a clearly unfastened agrafe.", "id": 11745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Aroma \u2014 a fragrance that's pleasing\nWith subtlety gentle and teasing.\nBut if it's too strong,\nBefore very long,\nYou'll end up both wheezing and sneezing.", "id": 11746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Oh my dear,\" said the husband affectedly\nWhen his wife returned home unexpectedly.\n\"This young girl's so afraid\nThat we lay here and prayed \u2014\nAnd were doing it interconnectedly.\"", "id": 11747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Hackers' golf games are seldom that strong,\nAs our ball flights are roughly all wrong.\nThus, we're steadfast believers\nIn golf ball retrievers\nThat telescope fifty feet long.", "id": 11748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Our first biological child\nWas a breeze, raised with ease, so we smiled;\nWith the second and third,\nFar more problems occurred.\nAnd the twelve we adopted? Plain wild.", "id": 11749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A bachelor pad is a dwelling\nThat often is gross and repelling,\nWith clothes and much more\nSpread all over the floor.\nAnd just what is that odor I'm smelling?", "id": 11750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A bachelor party is one\nWhere a man getting married has fun\nOne last time with his pals,\nGetting drunk with nude gals\nWho do things his new bride's apt to shun.", "id": 11751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Having scouted the isle as commanded,\nI returned to the dock where we'd landed,\nBut was startled to find\nThey had left me behind,\nForsaken, abandoned, and stranded.", "id": 11753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On the isles Balearic, near Spain,\nWhere it's pouring rioja, not rain,\nIn the clubs of Majorca,\nIbiza, Minorca,\nCarousing's our constant refrain.", "id": 11754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An addend can enlarge your receipt\nOr the bill for the food that you eat.\nIt is one of a set\nOf some numbers that get\nAdded up till the total's complete.", "id": 11755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Law", "limerick": "Pontius Pilate, the Vth Roman chief\nIn Jerusalem, found greatest grief\nWhen the mob cried, \"To please us,\nYou must crucify Jesus.\nFree Barabbas, that murderous thief!\"", "id": 11756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With computers, I follow the fads.\nAnd scars on my head? I've got scads!\nWhile a curved blade is good\nFor the shaping of wood,\nOn the net, I just hate pop-up adz!", "id": 11757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They told me the day I was hired\nThat a donkey and sponge were required.\nThe latter I had,\nThough the former?  It's sad,\nBut my asslessness meant I was fired.", "id": 11758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Britney Spears?  I just wrote her a letter,\nA \"Dear Jane,\" since it's time I forget her.\nHer sexual favors\nAre now put on waivers\nBecause I'm accustomed to better.", "id": 11760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The harp is beyond me.  Oh, jeez!\nI never could play it with ease\u2014\nAll my fingers are thumbs.\nBut the wind itself strums\nThe aeolian harp.  It's a breeze!", "id": 11762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Baking powder has leavening power.\nTo stay dry, it contains starch or flour.\nBut the acid and base\nDo the work in this case,\nAnd give rise to delights to devour.", "id": 11763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Almond extract's a fabulous flavor\nThat bakers are likely to favor\nIn cookies and crackers\nAnd cakes, which the snackers\nThey bake for are likely to savor.", "id": 11764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\"Dear, this storm will just give us a douse,\nThen blow over,\" I said to my spouse.\nBut I soon changed my tune\nOnce the raging typhoon\nHad completely blown over our house.", "id": 11765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "We know Alpha Centauri to be\nA system of stars made of three,\nAnd the third of its stars\nIs the closest to ours.\nIt's the third brightest \"star\" we can see.", "id": 11766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\"Are you going with yellow, or red?\"\nI asked of our painter, with dread.\n\"No, the color I'll use\nShall be orange, which I choose\nBecause all's well that blends well,\" he said.", "id": 11767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Bills are pending proposals for laws,\nOr the hard, horny parts of birds' jaws,\nOr documents showing\nThe charges I'm owing\nTo stores, which, when wrong, give me pause.", "id": 11768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A forty-year-old accoucheuse\nFound her calling gave birth to the blues.\nEach time she'd deliver\nShe'd cry a whole river,\nThen drown midwife crises in booze.", "id": 11769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bambi's flying her bomber today\nO'er the Indian city Bombay.\nMessing up, she ignores\nBolted-shut bomb bay doors,\nSlaps the button, and booms, \"Bombs away!\"", "id": 11770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "He was gaily bedight and was bold;\nLong he searched for the valley of gold.\nEl Dorado he found,\nAnd with treasure was crowned:\nYellow aspen leaves, all he could hold.", "id": 11771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My atherogenic demise\nMay result from the millions of fries\nI consume (like a hog),\nMaking plaque that will clog\nAll the routes to my heart, so it dies.", "id": 11773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To distinguish a ship from a boat,\nHere's the relevant nautical note:\nIt's a boat if it sits\nOn a ship\u2014or it fits\nIn the tub with my ducky, afloat.", "id": 11774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's been dying, the Romans' great ampersand,\nAnd now just the signwriter pampers &.\nThough there's no good excuse,\nIt is doomed to disuse,\nFor the absence of Romans still hampers &.", "id": 11775, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Ann (a pest), is poetic and sweet.\nWhen you meet her, she may stamp her feet.\nBut a day full of stress\nFollows two with much less.\nWhat she loves about lim'ricks? The beat.", "id": 11776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If all the M.D.s have agreed\nThat your ovary's shot, please take heed.\nIn medical lingo,\nAn abdominal salpingo-\noophorectomy's just what you need.", "id": 11777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A bookman is eager to read\nAll the books that he thinks he might need\nTo further his knowledge\nAt home or in college \u2014\nA keen educational greed.", "id": 11778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A bigamist keeps on the run,\nPlays it safe and calls both spouses \"Hon.\"\nSo his double life thrives,\nHe makes love with two wives,\nBut he files joint returns with just one.", "id": 11779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In charge of the Islamic state\n(750 to 1258)\nWere Abbasid caliphs\nWho held the beliefs\nThat Abbas and Mohammed relate.", "id": 11780, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ellla B.", "limerick": "The thread of my dream is oblique:\nA pudding-laced caper antique,\nNot of Swiss Miss or Jell-Os\nOr Weird Harold fellows.\nIt's allemain acrobats seek.", "id": 11782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Horrendous procedures occurred\nIn the '60s when gals were referred\nThrough clandestine contortions\nTo backstreet abortions.\n(Some even used hangers, I've heard.)", "id": 11783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A word that's uncommon: adpressed;\nIt's old-time locution, at best.\nIt means alongside\nWithout any divide,\nLike a girl with her head on your chest.", "id": 11784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This restaurant's quite atmospheric\u2014\nDecor that's unique, not generic.\nThe food?  It is utter-\nly drowning in butter.\nI fear the cuisine's cholesteric.", "id": 11785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A trucker who's weary and stressed\nStops his rig at a trooper's behest.\nWhen he's ordered to nap,\nHe refuses and . . . zap!\nHe gets tased for resisting a rest.", "id": 11786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From the time the first humans gave birth\u2014\nStarted breeding for all they were worth\u2014\nTo the present (this topic\nIs known as anthropic),\nOur species has conquered the earth.", "id": 11787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To pull your limbs inwards, instruct\nYour muscles to tense 'til they're tucked\nToward your midline.  What's wrong?\nCan't you do it?  Be strong \u2014\nPlease don't go to pieces, adduct!", "id": 11788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his workshop, the artist Vermeer\nKeeps a rod called an artist's bridge near,\nAnd he rests his right hand\nOn this firm wooden band\nSo the paints on his canvas don't smear.", "id": 11789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend's anticlerical speech\nMade phenomenal efforts to teach\nSeparation of State\nFrom those prelates who prate\nTheir political creeds when they preach.", "id": 11790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're pushing real hard on a wall,\nAnd, of course, you can't move it at all,\nSometimes Kohnstamm's phenomenon\nOccurs, since it's common on\nOccasions when reason may pall.", "id": 11791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're looking to buy some barometers\nTo read pressure and hang near thermometers,\nAn aneroid need\nUse no liquid. You read\nHg in's or mb's, not kilometers.", "id": 11792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bondsman works hard, although he\nIsn't paid for his work. He's not free.\nHe's an esne, or slave,\nAnd may toil to his grave.\nHe is someone I'd rather not be.", "id": 11793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When climbing a tree that starts bending,\nYou'd better start quickly descending.\nIf you fail to turn back\nYou might hear a loud crack\nAnd may find you've got bones that need mending.", "id": 11794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A beach flea's an amphipod wee,\nA creature that lives by the sea.\nThis tiny crustacean\nBegets detestation;\nA miserable pest, you'll agree.", "id": 11795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "arnie", "limerick": "An asthmatic old fellow named Clem\nWas cursed by great masses of phlegm.\n\"Ahem, ahem (spit),\nAhem, ahem (spit),\nAhem, ahem (spit), and ahem!\"", "id": 11796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Boxwood hedges, some fragrant, some not,\nForm a boundary, edging the lot\nWhere a granddaughter grieves.\nTiny evergreen leaves\nExpress hope for the souls in each plot.", "id": 11797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "When the lead dog took ill, the Arctician\nCouldn't lift it, and feared for his mission.\nOf the Arctic and snow\nHe knew all you could know,\nBut he wasn't a husky physician.", "id": 11798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "geekwraith", "limerick": "While flipping a hamburger patty,\nPoor Mitzi went quietly batty \u2014\nSaid, \"French fries with that?\"\nAs she deep-fried a rat.\n\"There's no difference; it all ends up fatty.\"", "id": 11799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The blurb on the back of the jacket\nSaid \"A page-turning feast: you must pack it\nTo read on the beach.\nIt's a rip-roaring peach.\"\nI read it. It's rubbish. Can't hack it.", "id": 11800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "The term blackdamp's an ominous word.\nIt is also called chokedamp, I've heard.\nIt will cut off one's breath,\n(Without oxygen\u2014death)\nAnd a mining disaster's occurred.", "id": 11802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Without gills, what would angelfish be?\nWell, for one thing, abranchial. See?\nJust breathless and floating\nAnd stinky and bloating,\nExpensive, striped fishtank debris.", "id": 11803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Aborsement: a word for abortion,\nA subject blown out of proportion.\nThe folks on each side\nSeem to take massive pride\nStating views of their foes with distortion.", "id": 11804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Honest Abe took a stand against truthlessness\nAnd demanded the South end its ruthlessness,\nBut he just didn't factor\nOne crazy-ass actor\u2014\nHe shoulda been pushing for Boothlessness.", "id": 11805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "My Norwegian friend, Thor, is a scammer.\nSo I warned he'd end up in the slammer.\nMy words were adhortatory:\nThis cop lived next door to Thor, he\nTold me he'd soon drop the hammer.", "id": 11806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "When you're searching a dungeon for gold,\nYou'll meet monsters; have courage! Be bold!\nWith this magical item\nYou'll easily fight 'em:\nThis artifact casts cone of cold.", "id": 11807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now, apodal means \"with no feet\",\nOf an animal thus incomplete,\nLike a snake or a skink,\nAnd sometimes, I think,\nThose fools who stand still in the street!", "id": 11808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My doc says I must sell my cat;\nThis asthma I just can't combat.\nThe cat's asthmogenic,\nAnd perhaps allergenic;\nI'm wheezing and sneezing \u2014 oh drat!", "id": 11809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "Proud father, with newborn he sired,\nSaid, \"This baby is all I desired.\nThe reason is clear:\nHis anusless rear\nMeans diapers will not be required.\"", "id": 11810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "A flatulent Roman, Ignatius,\nFilled balloons with a substance most gaseous.\nHe called them fine art,\nAnd they did look quite smart,\nThough they smelt most unpleasantly caseous!", "id": 11811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "When you turn up the volume to blare,\nIt's so loud that my patience will wear.\nBut my uppermost fear's\nFor the health of your ears,\nSo I'll box them, to show that I care.", "id": 11812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A bleeding heart liberal feels guilt\nFor people who suffer and wilt.\nBut, using your tax,\nThey start to relax\nAnd hope that some lives are rebuilt.", "id": 11813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nplclio", "limerick": "The bass has the deepest of voices;\nIn the F clef he greatly rejoices.\nIn the chorus's placement\nHe's down in the basement;\nThe parts that are low are his choices.", "id": 11814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With colorful flowers, this plant\nIs an ajuga, something that can't\nBe mistaken for quince,\nSince it's one of the mints,\nWhose aroma and taste will enchant.", "id": 11815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Adversity\" happens each time\nThere's a TV commercial in rhyme.\nThey are after my purse,\nAnd their verse is a curse,\nFor they'll get me to spend my last dime.", "id": 11816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Aald Aaron the aardvark was achin'\nFor Aaliyah his wife to aawaken.\nHe aahem'd as she baasked,\nThen aartfully aasked,\n\"Why aain't we earth pigs makin' bacon?\"", "id": 11817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "With your confidence starting to fall,\nAs your club won't connect with the ball,\nEach swing's an air shot,\nSo perhaps you should not\nTake up golf as your game after all.", "id": 11818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "You saw Ozzie while out on patrol?\nI am sure he's just out for a stroll.\t\nOh, please don't impound him,\t\n'Cause that's where I found him\u2014\nOur county's own Animal Control.", "id": 11819, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An accessory!  Such is my curse!\nI'm a frill, unimportant, or worse.\nBut wait!  Don't think I'm\nSomehow tied up with crime.\nI'm a cute little Ralph Lauren purse.", "id": 11820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and SheilaB", "limerick": "With acne conglobata, pus\nComes from acne, with this awful plus:\nMany abscesses\u2014bunches!\nYou're troubled, my hunch is.\nCan't blame you for making a fuss.", "id": 11821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I always paint signs in acrylic,\nUsing Roman, and even Cyrillic.\nI can wash off a letter\nAnd re-paint it better\nSince my favorite paint's hydrophilic.", "id": 11823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My life has been one of affliction;\nI've suffered with pain and addiction.\nBut I've learned to cash in\nOn my troubles and sin\nBy inserting them into my fiction.", "id": 11824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He sang me a sweet alborado\nAt dawn, but he sang with bravado;\nIt wasn't romantic,\nBut seemed rather frantic,\nThe way Koko wooed in Mikado.", "id": 11825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bemas are platforms within\nA church or a temple.  They're kin,\nAs they each bear an altar\nWith Bible and Psalter.\nIt's there that our prayer will begin.", "id": 11826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your facial nerve's knocked for a loop,\nA Bell's palsy will make your face droop.\nHalf your face tends to fall,\nAnd you can't eat at all\nWithout drooling your stew or your soup.", "id": 11827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I sat in the grass, next to you,\nI was stung in the rear.  The pain grew.\nTears arrived in a race\nAnd bedewed my whole face.\nWhat on earth did that little bee do?", "id": 11828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There are landlubbers, sorry to note,\nWho on shipboard are dumb as a goat;\nBut my ire hits a pinnacle\nWhen they sit on the binnacle,\nWhere the compass is housed, on my boat.", "id": 11829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A good mentor's not easy to find.\nThough the guru I follow is blind,\nHe insists on one stricture:\nThat I see the big picture.\nHe means I must open my mind.", "id": 11830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Someone's bedridden when he is ill\nWith a more-than-a-run-of-the-mill\nKind of illness.  He's bedfast,\nPathology's steadfast,\nAnd chances for walking are nil.", "id": 11831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bibb lettuce is leafy and green,\nAnd its leaves have a beautiful sheen.\nWhen they're covered with dressing,\nThey'll drip, so I'm guessing\nA bib will help keep your shirt clean.", "id": 11832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A birdman is one of those guys\nWho sells birds, or who watches the skies\nTo learn all about birds\n(Ornithology nerds),\nOr a pilot who actually flies.", "id": 11833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At his birthplace, no marker or sign\nHas been placed that would help us define\nWhere he took his first breath;\nSo I hope, at my death,\nYou will put a bronze tablet on mine.", "id": 11834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend was engaged to a guy\nWho'd get drunk, then to cover, would lie.\nShe could live with his fibbery,\nBut not with his bibbery;\nShe kissed him and bade him goodbye.", "id": 11835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A billbug's a kind of a weevil\nWhose larvae perpetuate evil\nConsuming our grain,\nSo our farmers complain\nThat the bug-bill brings fiscal upheaval.", "id": 11836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bench seat that's part of a car\nIs the friendliest set-up, by far,\nBoth for necking and petting;\nIt's better, I'm betting,\nThan any\u2014ouch!\u2014bucket seats are.", "id": 11837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When our marriage was young, you were bridal,\nAnd you cooked and you baked, never idle.\nNow we're married ten years;\nAll you do is drink beers\nAnd your cooking's become biocidal.", "id": 11838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend, whose name is Eugene,\nSaw blood sausage and soon he was keen\nThat we buy it and try it\nBut I'm on a diet\u2014\nI'll cook it for next Halloween.", "id": 11839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Climb a tree? No, I never learned how,\nAnd I don't mean to start learning now.\nPlease don't think I'm too prim\nTo go out on a limb,\nBut I fear I might fall from the bough.", "id": 11840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bowyer's a guy who makes bows;\nYou can meet him at archery shows.\nAnd you'll find he's the sort\nThat is thrilled by the sport\u2014\nHe's aquiver from hairline to toes.", "id": 11841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my beau comes for dinner he may\nBring a beautiful floral bouquet,\nAnd I'm sure he'll prefer\nI serve fragrant liqueur;\nIts bouquet will entice him to stay.", "id": 11842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They bombarded for twenty-four hours;\nNo more people, or houses, or flowers.\nThe town gave them trouble;\nNow it's nothing but rubble\nAnd a paean to gunnery's powers.", "id": 11843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's my boyfriend. Now what does he want?\nTo go bobsledding up in Vermont?\nI'm afraid, if we did,\nThat the bobsled would skid;\nI'd end up on my cahn, so I cahn't.", "id": 11844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Abdominal pregnancy can\nBe a danger throughout its full span.\nWhen gestation's ectopic,\nUnless you're myopic,\nYou'll work with your doc on a plan.", "id": 11845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Rock a baby way out on a limb;\nIf the bough breaks, what happens to him?\nIf it ruptures, he'll fall,\nBaby, cradle and all,\nAnd his chance for survival is slim.", "id": 11846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This oddly shaped stone in my hand,\nCalled a ben-ben, can help understand\nEgypt's genesis myth.\nIt's the rock where, forthwith,\nPrimal waters first yielded to land.", "id": 11847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a medieval library, look\nAnd you may find an animal book,\nWith a page for each beast,\nWhere a monk or a priest\nFound a lesson in hound and in rook.", "id": 11848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Scotsman was known for his brawn\u2014\nTossed the caber each dawn on the lawn.\nBut one braw windy day\nIt was swept right away.\n\"Why it's gone with the wind,\" he said, \"blawn!\"", "id": 11849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ardiar", "limerick": "Russian communists, after two tries,\nMade Kerensky mistrust his own eyes.\nHe was not, of course, thrilled,\nBut the milk had been spilled:\nMother Russia had been bolshevized.", "id": 11850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My hairdresser says that its blueness\nEnhances this liquid's shampooness.\nFor a human or pet,\nIt's the best you can get,\nAnd its hue won't engender tabooness.", "id": 11851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bowerbird builds a fine house\nIn hopes of attracting a spouse.\nIf she likes it, they mate.\nThat will make him feel great,\nBut if not, he'll cry foul, and he'll grouse.", "id": 11852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some inks, and some paints, once you let them\nGo dry, will not smudge if you wet them.\nThey are bleed-proof; if sprayed\nThey won't run, smear or fade.\nI expect you will rush out and get them.", "id": 11853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A wiseguy from Brooklyn called Chuck\nCould always collect a fast buck.\nA black-marketer, he\nSaid about my TV:\n\"Hell, it fell off the back of a truck!\"", "id": 11854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The berrylike germ Streptococcus\nCan infect us in ways that would shock us.\nWhile strep throat's a curse,\nA blood poisoning's worse.\nDoes this tiny bacterium mock us?", "id": 11855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Athazagoraphobia's bad;\nIt's the scariest fear that I've had.\nI'm afraid I'll forget\u2014\nThat's not all, what's worse yet\u2014\nThat I'll soon be forgotten.  How sad!", "id": 11856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I dine with a Mongol at two.\nHe'll be putting his ass in the stew.\nEquus hemionus\n(With grubs as a bonus):\nIt's tasty, much better than gnu.", "id": 11857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some alcohol comes in a jug;\nOther kinds, in a wine glass or mug.\nBut however one serves it,\nGreat care it deserves.  It\nIs not just a drink, but a drug.", "id": 11858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When the Bolsheviks started their party,\nIt was Lenin who led them (the smarty).\nSome historians say,\n\"He was tops in his day,\nAnd his beard was so pointed and arty!\"", "id": 11859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My dog is a bichon fris\u00e9\u2014\nLooks effeminate, people may say.\nBut arrange that he meet\nWith a bitch that's in heat,\nAnd you'll say, \"Hey, no way is he gay.\"", "id": 11860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bikinis can generate fun;\nBra and thong\u2014both admit lots of sun.\nBut this beach won't allow\nTwo-piece bathing suits? Wow!\nThen I'll have to eliminate one.", "id": 11861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You've a girlfriend you've known since your teens,\nBut a robot may lurk in her genes.\nIf you two were a match\nWould automata hatch?\n(They are people who act like machines.)", "id": 11862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This heart disease course gives instruction\nOn aberrant ventricular conduction.\nThough its scope is extensive,\nIt's awfully expensive,\nSubjecting my cash to effluxion.", "id": 11863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Ancient World, ships had to be\nRun by oars or by sails blowing free,\nAnd it wasn't up creeks\nThat Phoenecians and Greeks\nTook their biremes; they travelled the sea.", "id": 11864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "With this poison (a drop will suffice)\nWe inject you\u2014it acts in a trice!\u2014\nFor the smooth, ageless grace\nOf a paralyzed face!\nLook, no creases now! Isn't that nice?", "id": 11865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A biopic tells a life story,\nHeroic, pathetic, or hoary.\nIn a film for TV\nOr the movies, you'll see\nThat they aim for the gore and the glory.", "id": 11866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He gets jilted and goes on a binge,\nDrinks so much that it makes people cringe.\nWhen his drinking stops, he's\nGot a case of D.T.'s,\nWith his mind in a state of unhinge.", "id": 11867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aunt Imelda, whose blood was patrician,\nOnce deigned to consult a beautician,\nSaying, \"Make my niece, Nelly,\nLook just like Grace Kelly.\"\nHe replied, \"I am not a magician.\"", "id": 11868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In France a penurious peasant,\nWhile hoeing, discovered a bezant.\nHe stopped and ran home\nWith his gold from old Rome,\nAnd gave thanks to the Lord for His present.", "id": 11869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It weighs seventy-five billion tons,\nAnd it flies and it walks and it runs,\nAnd it swims in the sea,\nAnd contains you and me;\nThe sheer volume of biomass stuns.", "id": 11870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A writer who dug Marcel Proust\nSought to give his career a great boost.\nThough he worked on a novel\nAnd lived in a hovel,\nA booklet was all he produced.", "id": 11871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A blood count effectively tells\nYou the number of red and white cells\nIn a blood sample, and\nHelps your doc understand\nWhat is wrong, when it sounds warning bells.", "id": 11872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There is art on the wall (for a start);\nArt archaic, like \"Thou art so smart.\"\nArt is skill at a game,\nAnd there's Art, Carney's name;\nSo let's hit it! \"You've gotta have art!\"", "id": 11873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "An atrous man's out for a stroll,\nWith a mood that is darker than coal.\nOn his face is a threat\nAnd his eyes, black as jet,\nAre a window right into his soul.", "id": 11874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's an NPR radio show\nThat's superb if your traffic's so slow\nThat you're sitting, embittered.\nTry All Things Considered\nTo keep yourself well in the know.", "id": 11875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There was a fair flautist named Anna\nTook to lying aflaunt on the piana.\nThough her flute skills were flawed,\nAnna's fans all adored\nHow she'd flaut in a flirtatious manner.", "id": 11876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An antileukemic-type drug\nCan't kill off a virus or bug.\nIt's a treatment for cancer\nOf blood cells\u2014the answer\nFor kids who need more than a hug.", "id": 11877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An evening at home with the Mahlers:\n\"I said birth control, Gus!\" Alma hollers,\n\"I had asked if you'd please\nGo and buy IUDs\u2014\nWhat you brought was Australian dollars!\"", "id": 11878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I wanted to stitch something big\nIn bargello, a style that I dig,\nBut my piece looks psychotic;\nIts pattern's chaotic.\nI zagged where I should have gone zig.", "id": 11879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Food and drink in my bowl and my cup,\nI sat down at the table to sup.\nAs I ate, from my throat\nCame a belch. So I'd note,\n\"What goes down sometimes rises back up.\"", "id": 11880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When you separate stuff with a spark,\nAround where do the particles park?\nWell, the anolyte's goal\nIs the positive pole,\nWith the catholyte left in the dark.", "id": 11881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna and turnip", "limerick": "Said Clark Kent in a panic, \"Great Scott!\nThere's no phone booth; I'm put on the spot!\nHow can I change clothes\nBefore fighting my foes\nWhen a cell phone is all that I've got?\"", "id": 11882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "For beginning rhymes come, take a peek.\nGor Blimey, you'll find what you seek!\nMore are found on this line.\nScore one more (ain't this fine?),\nOr perhaps I should finish this streak.", "id": 11883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you're after a beer that has class,\nThere is none any finer than Bass.\nIt was registered first,\nSlaked Napoleon's thirst,\nAnd looks great when it's served in a glass.", "id": 11884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In that poem by Burns maybe you\nFound the one place this word is on view.\nDid I hear you once say,\nA wee \"Gang aft agley\"?\nIt's archaic: \"aslant or askew.\"", "id": 11886, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Benton Harbor, alas, is a fine\nIllustration of urban decline.\nLots of jobs moved away,\nAnd few folks chose to stay,\nMainly under the poverty line.", "id": 11887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Bisexuality simply refers\nTo attraction or love that occurs\nWhen a girl or a guy,\nAs the bi- would imply,\nIs allured both by hims and by hers.", "id": 11888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "To blush: to get red in the face\nFrom the modesty, shame, or disgrace\nYou would feel being viewed\nWhen you're drunk and/or nude\n(Or some other embarrassing case).", "id": 11889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Certain roaches are known as black beetles;\nThey scurry along on six feetles.\nThey're not beetles, and so:\nColeoptera? No!\nThey ran off with the name. Indiscreetles!", "id": 11890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "A nearsighted coach from St. Paul\nSaw the block\u2014and the fall\u2014and the sprawl;\nYes, he saw the whole game,\nBut not who was to blame,\nSo he ballparked and bawled out the ball.", "id": 11891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "This stupid fat bastard just sat\nOn my Stetson; his lard squashed it flat.\nWell, his face has been socked,\nNow I'll get the crown blocked\nTo reshape my most favorite hat.", "id": 11892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I feel sorry for Leoncavallo;\nHis chords and his tunes ring out hollow.\nHis Boh\u00e8me is unknown\n(It's unsung, never shown),\nFor Puccini's a hard act to follow.", "id": 11893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My doctor's the best, I proclaim;\nExamining throats is his game.\nHe's a whiz at his job,\nHas a knack with a swab\u2014\nAnd the Wizard of Ahs is his name.", "id": 11894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "La Boh\u00e8me was composed by Puccini\nAs he ate a nice plate of linguini.\nMusetta and Mimi\nSing arias dreamy\n(Rodolfo's a bit of a meany).", "id": 11895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "We once used the word adhortation\nFor attempting to rouse a whole nation\nTo go out and fight\nAnd to do what is right.\nExhortation's the modern formation.", "id": 11896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "The state-of-the-art archaeopteryx\nWas a not-very-good helicopter; ex-\ntinction (Jurassic)\nDeprives us of classic\nStraight plummet, back flip, belly-flop tricks.", "id": 11897, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I beg you, don't fill up that glass for me!\nThat wouldn't be kindness, alas, for me.\nIf I take too much drink\nCheery banter will sink\nTo abuse, imprecations, and blasphemy.", "id": 11898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "All blackmailers, modern and olden,\nKeep victims abjectly beholden\nFor goods they have tendered,\nOr services rendered,\nBut, most of all, silences golden.", "id": 11899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "B. Honeydew (callous old geek, or\nHigh-minded, objective truth-seeker?)\nWould mix up a brew\nOf regurgitant hue\nAnd observe its effects in a beaker.", "id": 11900, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Evasion of tax is a crime,\nWhile avoidance is fine anytime.\nWhen we're not really sure\nIf we're guilty or pure,\nThat's avoision, with odours of slime.", "id": 11901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Some furnish their dwelling-place grandly,\nWhile others make do second-handly.\nThere are those who find mine\nMore eccentric than fine,\nBut I never could decorate blandly.", "id": 11903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Of nefarious doings I tell:\nAlexander (the Great) Graham Bell\nSimply took, without mention,\nMeucci's invention,\nHis fame, and his fortune as well.", "id": 11904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A young barman, who meant no offence,\nHad a way of predicting events,\nOr perhaps, to suggest\nHow the day might end best:\nHe would call out, \"Now ladies please gents!\"", "id": 11905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Apocryphalness is the state\nOf Utopia, Erewhon, Great\nExpectations, and Tobit;\nIt means they have no bit\nOf credit marked up on their slate.", "id": 11906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Put a neck and some strings on a drum,\nAnd your banjo is ready to strum\nWith a pick, or a couple\u2014\nOr, if you are supple,\nTry using two fingers and thumb.", "id": 11907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "I'm praisin' Achilles, the tendon,\nThat keeps my poor ankle a-bendin'.\nIf it happens to tear,\nI'll be stuck in a chair\n(One with wheels on) for weeks while a-mendin'.", "id": 11908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "'Midst the sugar beets, soybeans, and corn\nIs Bay City, a little well-worn.\nIt's important, in short,\nAs a Michigan port\n(And the place where Madonna was born).", "id": 11909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "The baryton looks like a riddle:\nBass offspring of zither and fiddle.\nIt won some support\nIn the Esterhaz' court,\nWith the music of Haydn and Lidl.", "id": 11910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "While producing our juice isn't tough\nAnd our customers can't get enough,\nLack of bottles, I fear,\nIs the bottleneck here,\nAnd it's slowing our sales of the stuff.", "id": 11911, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lady Catherine", "limerick": "A certain magnetic attraction\nEnded up in a physics infraction.\nWhen opposites fail\nTo align head to tail,\nThis calls for a new plan of action.", "id": 11912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "In recalling the girls that I've wedded,\nIt is hard to remain level-headed.\nPlease don't think me rude\n(And I know this sounds crude)\nBut I should've left after we'd bedded.", "id": 11913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Acts of tenderness go a long way;\nTry a little, the songwriters say.\nThough happily wedded,\nYour acting pig-headed\nCould send her affections astray.", "id": 11914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I once knew a woman named Tiffany\nWho silently suffered baryphony.\nHer best action yet\nWas to go on the net:\nIn her own words, she had an epiphany.", "id": 11915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "France's pride, the bemedaled LeClaire,\nStood erect with his nose in the air:\nGave the boche a defeat\nBy attacking tout de suite,\nAnd so earned his deserved Croix de Guerre.", "id": 11916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "First some honking and swearing was heard;\nThen a gesture of anger occurred\nAs I thrust out my hand\nAt that idiot and\nRather flippantly flipped him the bird.", "id": 11917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I knew that the movie would scare\nBut I went anyhow, on a dare.\nAs the slasher got slashier,\nMy color grew ashier;\nI rushed from the theater for air.", "id": 11919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Old Sunderlin had a long beard;\nFor decades it hadn't been sheared.\nFacial hair grew around\nHim and wound to the ground\n'Til one Monday he just disappeared.", "id": 11920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By candlelight, 'round us it swirled;\nIts wings spanned a foot when unfurled.\nBe it he-moth or she-moth,\nThis moth's a behemoth\u2014\nThe largest that's found in the world.", "id": 11921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When allotting a database slot\nTo a lim'rick concerning alot,\nYou might find it absurd\nThat it's not a real word\u2014\nAt least, not in the reference you've got.", "id": 11922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "An eye for an eye was the way\nOf revenge in rough justice's day;\nBut now we forgive\nAnd let wrongdoers live,\nWith a healthier forfeit to pay.", "id": 11923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A dentist in need of more drillings\nWent searching for teeth needing fillings.\nHe left Indiana\nAnd stopped in Montana\nThus gaining an increase in billings.", "id": 11924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Someone's said Captain Kidd was so lame\nAs a pirate, his legend's a shame.\nTo bear out this story\nWould wear out his glory\nSo stet his notorious name.", "id": 11925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Craftsmen came from afar to admire\nModel airplanes that soared so much higher,\n'Til one day, shed aflame,\nThey were heard to exclaim\n\"Goodness gracious!\" and \"Great balsa fire!\"", "id": 11926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "To say bdellium, bdon't speak the B;\nIt's just etymologic bdebris,\nAnd it shouldn't bdistract\nOr bdetract from this fact,\nBdamn it: bdellium bdrips from a tree.", "id": 11927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When it's hot in the sun where you toil,\nYou can sweat so your skin doesn't broil.\nBut because I'm robotic\nAnd, thus, anhidrotic,\nWhen hot, all I do is leak oil.", "id": 11928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When my bride said that night, \"When we breed,\nThe asexual route's what I need,\"\nI thought, Huh? She expects\nTo have kids without sex?\nThen I saw her sans clothes, and agreed.", "id": 11929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "All your mates on this old battlewagon\nAre finished. We're all tired of draggin'\nThe ocean for stuff\nThat you lost. That's enough!\nWe refuse to keep lookin' for lagan.", "id": 11930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We were dining on pasta in Reno\nWhen our waiter took orders for vino.\nI said, \"Bring us a white.\"\nBut then\u2014maybe in spite\u2014\nHe provided a red (bardolino).", "id": 11931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If buildings I'd built were built stricter,\nThese aftershocks (6 on the Richter)\nWould leave them unbreaking.\nBut rumbling and shaking\nSurprised me, for I'm no predictor.", "id": 11932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In the dark, pilots find what they're seekin'\nBy flyin' their planes to a beacon.\nBut the shoes in my room\nCan be found in the gloom\nBy their smell: it's a beacon a-reekin'.", "id": 11933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Yes, it's true, as we atheists say,\nThat we haven't a reason to pray.\nWe believe there's no guy\nAt some gate when we die\nSaying, \"You've been bad; you've been okay...\"", "id": 11934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Your anthroponym, sir,\" barked the clerk,\nAs she glared with a mean little smirk.\n\"Now. I haven't all day.\"\n\"Fine; it's Joseph,\" I say.\n\"And is yours Mrs. Bitch, or Miss Jerk?\"", "id": 11935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I'm the hardwood where cocktails are poured\nIn the bar on this train they've restored,\nBut I still jump like hell\nEvery time that they yell,\nEven though I'm already a board.", "id": 11936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Trees have fruits like a peach or a plum,\nOr grow nuts, which taste better to some.\nThough the beechnut is edible,\nWith flavor incredible,\nDon't feed it to Baby, by gum!", "id": 11937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An eight-year-old pupil demanded\nTo know why some pigeons get banded.\n\"It helps them tell right\nFrom their left,\" lied Miss White,\nWho thought \"savvy\" more vital than \"candid\".", "id": 11938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "To my infant each night I remark\nOn the songs I'd been taught in the dark.\nI will never forget\nThe old song \"Alouette\":\nMother sang me to sleep, on a lark.", "id": 11939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Face the dragon, young knight, steel your nerve;\nDress for battle; approach him with verve.\"\nDragon perks up and dances:\n\"My dinner advances!\nWearing Armour?  Aha!  Brown 'n Serve!\"", "id": 11940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Our spinoff is carryin' its weight;\nTime to allocate funds, no debate.\nWhat we need is a loan...\nCharlie? Hand me that phone.\nTinkers Bank?... Jacques Lemond... All\u00f4, Kate?\"", "id": 11941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Said Noah, \"Now, just on a lark,\nIn a circle I'd like to embark \u2014\nMathematically, smashin'!\nIn arcual fashion.\"\n(He'll sail in the path of an arc.)", "id": 11942, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In a right turn, the wheel on the right\nScribes a curve like the left, but more tight;\nThe Ackerman angle\nPrevents tire mangle,\nAdjusting the diff'rence, though slight.", "id": 11943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The mobster said, \"Borrow it, will you?\nOur loan rate, alone, will not thrill you.\nWith interest compounded,\nYour fears are well founded.\nThe anatocism will kill you.\"", "id": 11944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Whose are best?  I won't even take odds;\nThis is music that's fit for the gods.\nI sit and I savor it:\nIt's Chopin, my favorite\nComposer of classic ballades.", "id": 11945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "His own son doth Polonius send\nOut with words, \"Lest you break with your friend,\nDon't extend him a cost,\nMoney's not all that's lost:\nDon't you borrow, my boy, and don't lend.\"", "id": 11946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Afrikaans, based on olden time Dutch,\nFinds its place among languages much\nRun away in direction:\nIn its grammar, no flection.\nCAN express things quite simply as such.", "id": 11948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Send a message, a name, or a sign\nOf regret, by the tips of each line.\nReading down the left column\nReveals something solemn\u2014\nYour repenting acrostic works fine!", "id": 11949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An azeotrope's composition,\nWhen boiling, stays\u2014by definition\u2014\nJust the same; it's a mixture\nWith a strange transfer fixture\nDuring liquid-to-vapor transition.", "id": 11950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "April's meaning we don't know for sure\u2014\nEtymology still is obscure.\nBlossoms open just now,\nAs do hearts, in spring\u2014wow!\nCan aperire be offered as lure?", "id": 11951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Here I come to the club, a new writer,\nOLder sure, but not grown any brighter.\nGood old faithful agnostic,\nEarly fan of acrostic,\nRhymes in rhythms that leave lyrics lighter.", "id": 11952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once an Empire, now democratic,\nWhose Emperors, always pragmatic,\nUsed political wedding\nMore than war for the spreading\nOf Austria. (Most diplomatic.)", "id": 11953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bird, chased downwind, ever flew,\nGophers hiding in junipers knew;\nLlamas marched near old pandas;\nQuails raced snails to Uganda's\nVast wildreserve.  Xhosas yelled, \"Zoo!\"", "id": 11954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "saranita", "limerick": "Goodly knights in the brave days of yore,\nTwin ailettes on their broad shoulders wore.\nEpaulets de rigueur\nFor the knightly set were\nThese small shields, square yet chic when at war.", "id": 11955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Arizona's as dry as a bone.\nIt's a desert of hot sand and stone,\nWhere the air feels like flame.\nOh, how perfect a name\u2014\nArizona; it's one arid zone.", "id": 11957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "An auger is some sort of drill,\nAnd to use it takes more than just skill.\nYou must know that to try\nPoking one in your eye\nJust might, for your sight, augur ill.", "id": 11958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "It's our blood drive, when everyone gives\nFor the folks who are leaking like sieves.\nCall me silly, but I've\nAlways figured Blood Drive\nWas the street where Count Dracula lives.", "id": 11959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Asiago's a cheese I would rate\nAs the one cheese you'd want on your plate.\nIt's more pungent than cheddar\nAnd, if you've a shredder,\nWhen grated it really tastes great.", "id": 11960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Mother baked German cookies divine.\nWhen she offered, I didn't decline.\nThough she says I ate eight,\nThere's a weighty debate:\nI ate eight German cookies?  Nein, nine.", "id": 11961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "When you're facing that Thanksgiving spread\nAnd the plentiful feast you'll be fed,\nIt's a time not for counting\nThe calories mounting\nBut counting your blessings instead.", "id": 11962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A bagpiping Scot wore a frown\n'Cause his mother-in-law was in town.\nHer squawking non-stop\nDrove him over the top,\nCrying, \"When will that old bag pipe down?\"", "id": 11963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "With a lock of your hair I've been blessed,\nAnd right next to my heart it will rest\u2014\nNo, not in a locket\nBut in my shirt pocket.\nAt last I'll have hair on my chest.", "id": 11964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Acquisitive labels the creed\nOf those folks who have more than they need\nAnd increase their possessions\nBy harmful aggressions.\nOrdinarily, we'd call it greed.", "id": 11965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "A boneyard's a burial ground;\nA catacomb, graveyard or mound;\nA necropolis, plot,\nOr \u2014 in essence \u2014 a spot\nWhere the dead leave their bones lying 'round.", "id": 11966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Airelle is a bilberry (wild),\nThey told me when I was a child.\nBut its flavor is tame,\nSo when served with some game\nIt tastes pleasantly subtle and mild.", "id": 11967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The dressmaker's customer hints\nShe's admiring the tints in those prints.\nAnd indeed she confesses\nShe needs several dresses,\nBut just doesn't cotton to chintz.", "id": 11968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bottoms you're selling have sludge\u2014\nIt's a fact you were careful to fudge.\nNow you're shocked that your buyer\nImplied you're a liar\nFor giving the truth just a nudge.", "id": 11969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When getting the heroine stripped,\nWhy's her bodice so typically ripped?\nBetter chance of romance,\nGetting into her pants,\nWould be getting her zipper unzipped.", "id": 11970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "There was a young skier from Fisk\nWho tumbled and damaged a disc.\nShe tried hard not to bawl,\nBut the worst of it all\nWas she put her petite *.", "id": 11971, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Time changes the words that we say,\nAnd the old nineteenth-century way\nTo say, \"It's all clear!\"\nWould today be thought queer\nIf we cried, \"Come on out, it's all gay.\"", "id": 11972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the stockholders urge you perforce\nTo downsize and then to outsource,\nMay the ayenbite of inwit\nRepay that gray sin wit'\nUnendingly stinging remorse.", "id": 11973, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you purchase coal tar, you're a buyer.\nIf you say it smells nice, you're a liar.\nFrom its anthracene goo\nComes alizarin's hue.\nIf you know about that, you're a dyer.", "id": 11974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Norwegian, the tongue, is a fiction:\nIn Norway, the grammar and diction\nIs Bokmaal for most,\nBut where fjords cut the coast\nNynorsk is pronounced with conviction.", "id": 11975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Round Saturn, a beautiful thing\nIs a shepherd moon's orbital swing,\nAnd A is in place\nThanks to gravity's grace\nBecause Atlas is mooning that ring.", "id": 11976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When I woke up this morning, the blues\nWere collecting their membership dues.\nLord, I'm feeling so sad,\n'Cause my mom and my dad\nDon't respect my conservative views.", "id": 11977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A bacteriotoxin's a drug\nThat will kill a bacterial bug.\nIt is also a term\nFor the stuff from the germ\nThat will knock you down flat on the rug.", "id": 11978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Made of heavy imported brocade,\nOur bedcover's neatly arrayed\nAt the base of the bed;\nWe should spread it instead,\nBut we don't, 'cause the bed's never made!", "id": 11979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Time for class; as I stepped from the dorm,\nSnow was blowing \u2014 I tried to keep warm:\nPulled my parka in tight,\nTurned the collar up, right\n'Gainst the blistery wind of the storm.", "id": 11980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I view fascists with utter dismay;\nFor they think that we need (so they say)\nOur traditions demolished,\nAnd freedoms abolished,\nPretending we're safer this way.", "id": 11981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I don't dare tell you how it began,\nBut my strategy's formed, to a man.\nSo don't be morose,\nJust listen real close;\nPay attention: I'll block out our plan.", "id": 11982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An organ can \"jam\" or get hung\nBy a block, in the heart, in a lung;\nBut at times, transcendental\u2014\nSome blocks can be mental,\nLike those that cause slips of the tongue.", "id": 11983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"This old door doesn't latch any more!\"\nCried John's wife. John replied with a snore.\nWhen she yelled that he'd shirk\nAny sort of real work,\nHe awoke\u2014made a bolt for the door.", "id": 11984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The pitcher stares home and awaits\nWhat his catcher, in signals, relates;\nThrows the ball, hears the shout,\n\"Stee-rike three! You are out!\"\nIt's the battery, one-two, they're mates.", "id": 11985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's more than a simple old fire \u2014\nA blaze snaps and crackles much higher.\nIt can be an emotion\nThat conjures that notion;\nExample: \"A blaze of desire\".", "id": 11986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A little girl, ever so cute,\nTook a bite of an apple, minute.\nWhen she turned down another,\nHer unwasteful mother\nJust shrugged and ate fore-bitten fruit.", "id": 11987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There once was a woman named Kitty,\nWhose bosom was small, downright bitty.\nHer brassiere, she would find,\nFit her best from behind,\nFor in front, would slide down. What a pity!", "id": 11988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When you don't have the force to invade\nOr subdue your foe's center of trade,\nYou can still use your clout,\nNothing in, no one out,\nBy arranging your ships in blockade.", "id": 11989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "For her dance set, an ostrich's plumage\nGraced the head of one Honeybee Rumage.\nA strap of pink hearts\nHid her netherly parts,\nWhile a boa concealed her bazoomage.", "id": 11990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "So much writing, my arm's but a dead limb.\nI submit limericks here; I can't peddle 'em.\nFor my spouse, no delight\nIn the poems I write,\nThough they might, late at night, indite bedlam.", "id": 11991, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When the knight took a blow to the head,\nIt split open; profusely he bled.\nWhite tunic astain,\nHe observed with disdain,\n\"'Tis the oxides of iron make it red.\"", "id": 11992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I really should call my masseuse;\nI subjected my back to abuse.\nChopping wood's a mistake;\nAll my vertebrae ache,\nBut a backrub will get me all loose.", "id": 11993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It was hard-won, the race run by Tyler,\nKnown well as the fleetest half-miler.\nAs he broke through the wire,\nHe turned 'round to admire\nIts two lines \u2014 wound together, bifilar.", "id": 11994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "To a sightless young lass, Jim opined,\n\"You would make a great date \u2014 would you mind?\"\nJim got pickled one night,\nSo she dared, in his plight,\nWalk him home, the blind leading the brined.", "id": 11995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A HazMat retiree named Gene\nTook to cookery: Tex-Mex cuisine.\nBut to him what appeals\nAre leguminous meals;\nIn the end, he's become a Haz-bean.", "id": 11996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I could go by myself to a dance \u2014\nFind a girl, make an awkward advance.\nBut it's always, \"No date,\nHon, you're too overweight;\nIf you're planning for later, fat chance!\"", "id": 11997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The blacktop guy's work was pure schlock;\nHe'd a sixpack before one o'clock.\nI'll do better, no doubt,\nIf I rip it all out,\nAnd replace it with patio block.", "id": 11998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The old fellow went out for a stroll\nEvery night, as though searching his soul.\nHis landlady'd shout,\n\"Who's that prowling about?\"\nHe'd reply, \"I'm the boarder patrol.\"", "id": 12000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "My old dog is dead, and the ache\nIn my heart I'll not rapidly shake.\nIt is strange I should weep\n'Cause they put him to sleep,\nWhen in life he was seldom awake.", "id": 12001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Annapolis: Found in MD,\nWhere the Navy trains kids for the sea.\nBut a sailor on break\nSaid I'd made a mistake \u2014\nAnnapolis grown on a tree.", "id": 12002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The ALU calculates sums\nOn my Pentium processor, chums.\nIt's been adding for years;\nNow the answer appears\u2014\nIt's the blue screen of death! Get my Tums.", "id": 12003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ellla B.", "limerick": "When rusty old objects will probe ya,\nFrail victim of belonephobia,\nHold still for your shot.\nYour sore arm will not rot,\nNor the poking nurse need to disrobe ya.", "id": 12005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ellla B.", "limerick": "My passionate shopping cadenza\nBrought on by acute affluenza?\nA pox on your house,\nYou tree-hugging louse;\nDon't scoff at my bulging credenza!", "id": 12006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "As an upper-class gent of my station,\nI think fighting deserves condemnation.\n But should scoundrels and toughs\n Merit rough fisticuffs,\nThen I call it \"a small altercation\".", "id": 12007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "I return to my woods, though I reckon\nThe bottles my love breaks the neck on\nAre all drunk\u2014as is she:\nHer carousing's a plea\nMy own backcountry bacchant to beckon.", "id": 12009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Ammonium nitrate\u2014plants love it.\nAnd so do the whackos who shove it\nIn buildings they blow up.\nSo how, now, the slowup\nIn tracking and getting rid of it?", "id": 12010, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The backstays would not be longlasting\nIf they frayed in the gale to the blasting\nOf frustrated tars,\nSo they're tied off the spars\nTo the backstay-plates aft of the masting.", "id": 12011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Alas! Turpitudinous taker,\nA troubling disgrace to your Maker!\nYou coveted loot,\nAnd you stole it to boot\u2014\nAnd got stoned, Achar, right there in Achor.", "id": 12012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The arrow that Jonathan lobbed\nOut to David went long: Saul was fobbed,\nAll his ill will confirmed;\nThe hobnobbers affirmed\nLasting love, and to Nob David hobbed.", "id": 12013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "That rascally Dave sure could pull 'em\u2014\nA beggar, he chose not to cull 'em:\nDistressed and downtrodden,\nIn debt and besodden\u2014\nWay down to the cave of Adullam.", "id": 12014, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "I note with sporadical glee,\nThe basidiomycetous tree\nOf the fungi was thought\nTo be two-branched. What rot!\nIt is rusts, smuts, and mushrooms (that's three).", "id": 12015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Priest Abda's job's taken\u2014a pity.\nHis role in the temple? Sit pretty\nWhile glad Mattaniah\nAnd gay Bakbukiah\nAnd he give God thanks by committee.", "id": 12016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Did the Pharaoh's girl's bathing troupe wake him?\nNo milk in the ark there to slake him.\nAnd, behold, the babe wept.\nThat's when Miriam leapt\nUp, suggesting Mo's own mother take him.", "id": 12017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A loser named Theodore Krupp\nOften slipped twixt the lip and the cup.\nIf a choice came along\n'Tween a right and a wrong,\nHe'd be certain to bollix it up.", "id": 12018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Said Bubba to Jim Bob, \"Hey, hey! Be\nMore careful when touching my baby!\nI've washed her and waxed her;\nIt's time ta make tracks ter\nThe auto show.  Come with me, JB.\"", "id": 12020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Hezekiah was brought to his knees\nBy an illness. Isaiah said, \"Please\nPut our good Lord on trial;\nShall Ahaz's dial\nFall back or spring forth ten degrees?\"", "id": 12021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Just call it my final-year caper\u2014\nGot a press, and some hot steamy vapor.\nThe best of my scams:\nI \"borrowed\" exams,\nAnd with pressure and steam, blocked the paper.", "id": 12022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On election night, Lopez held court:\n\"It appears that we fell a bit short.\nI'm truly sincere \u2014\nYou backstopped me here,\nAnd I thank you for all your support.\"", "id": 12023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A Bostonian Asian named Babbage\nCooked a dish of fresh bean sprouts and cabbage.\nBut he used too much soy\nTo prepare the bok choi,\nSo he threw the whole mess in the gabbage.", "id": 12024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"'Til death do us part,\" said his Miss.\nThen they finished their vows with a kiss.\n\"Now, my dear, come along.\nWalk like this; that way's wrong!\"\n'Twas his intro to marital bliss.", "id": 12025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Is \"boredom\" your workaday strife?\nDoes \"ennui\" portray time with your wife?\nTo relieve the monotony,\nStudy some botany!\nPlants can add spice to your life.", "id": 12026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Annapolis sits by the Bay\nKnown as Chesapeake (Crab! Fish fillet!).\nIt harbors a College\nThat ships naval knowledge\n(And tosses its anchors aweigh?).", "id": 12027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A web-surfing wizard named Liz\nThought her store could use Internet fizz;\nShe had lost some aplomb\nWhen she found liz.com\nWas plum gone \u2014  but she's now liz.biz.", "id": 12028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My move should have caused him chagrin;\nYet my rival said \"Draw!\" with a grin.\nWell, let's pause and take stock:\nI've created a block,\nBut this game is checkers\u2014I win!", "id": 12029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Laundried rooftops and chimneys to see,\nAnd canals full of smelly debris \u2014\nFrom Astoria way\nTo the edge of the Bay,\nTraffic crawls on the old BQE.", "id": 12030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It will lift out my engine with ease.\nSet the boat on its trailer? A breeze.\nWith a good block and tackle,\nI sidestep debacle.\n(I love it for uprooting trees.)", "id": 12031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Doll of paper, a cute little blonde,\nPassed a note to the gent.  \"Please respond.\nYou've set me aflame\nBut I don't know your name.\"\nHe replied, \"Were I man, 'twould be Bond.\"", "id": 12032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An inspection by Captain McEwen\nFound some traces of firebugs' doin'.\nStored weapons were burned\nTo a crisp, the man learned\nWhile surveying the arsenal ruin.", "id": 12034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Known as black knot, a fungal disease,\nIt likes cherries, at least cherry trees.\nIt encircles a branch\n(It would sure make you blanch!)\nLike a life-ending, tourniquet squeeze.", "id": 12035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The rec room was truly a wreck\u2014\nPizza boxes and all sorts of dreck.\nThe fun the kids had\nMade it passably bad,\nBut the cola spills everywhere? Blecch!", "id": 12036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An acidhead likes to get high\nAnd watch beautiful visions go by,\nBut just one hit too many\nAnd he'll grow antennae\nAnd, like Gregor Samsa, may die.", "id": 12037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a marching band, if you aspire\nTo play music that all will admire,\nPlay a glockenspiel and\nYou'll be heard o'er the band\u2014\nSo just learn to command a bell lyre.", "id": 12038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Decameron, many a dish\nCan engender a sexual wish;\nThus Boccaccio wrote.\nBut it sticks in my throat\nThat bocaccio's also a fish.", "id": 12040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My cousin's a bolshie, a commie.\nIt makes her a terrible mommy.\nShe cooks for her brood\nUsing only red food,\nAnd they're living on borscht and salami.", "id": 12041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "My kitten is fond of affriction.\nIt's not, for a cat, an affliction.\nIf I don't stroke his head,\nHe will pet me instead.\nHe's a kitty with scritchin' addiction.", "id": 12042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "Some lawyers cause lexical strife;\nWith jargon, their business is rife.\nTake baron and feme\u2014\nIt's used only by them,\nWhile most others say  husband and wife.", "id": 12043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Blue beryl, or aquamarine,\nHas a clarity, luster, and sheen.\nSo it seems somewhat duller\nWhen merely a color:\nLight blue, with a smidgen of green.", "id": 12044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Gassy cows cause our atmosphere pains;\nFrom the farts of the mule\u2014acid rains.\nCH4, CO2:\nIt's all biogas (eww!);\nGreenhouse culprits and known ozone banes!", "id": 12045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX and mike scholtes", "limerick": "There once was a rock hound named Sheryl\nWho was keen on the mineral beryl,\nWith its aqua sea-blues\nAnd pink morganite hues,\nEven goshenite, pallid and sterile.", "id": 12046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, the Greek poet, is crazy.\nHis romantical habits are lazy.\nHe will lie on his back\nAnd imagine dawn's crack\nTo be pinkish and auric and hazy.", "id": 12047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "As you see, my physique is a mess,\nSo I'll bench press and cause myself stress.\nPile the weights on the bar\nAnd I'll push them up far;\nIf I can't rack it up, I'll try less.", "id": 12048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Plant geneticists work and compete\nTo develop new fruit types to eat.\nTwo-thirds apricot (yum!),\nThe remainder is plum:\nCall them apriums\u2014juicy and sweet.", "id": 12049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Apiphobia sufferers drive\nWith their windows rolled up near a hive,\n'Cause a honeybee's flight\nCould produce quite a fright\nAnd a crash that they mightn't survive.", "id": 12050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Said the sailor on shore, \"At long last!\nI have done my two years 'fore the mast.\nWith my sea duty done,\nI am Neptune's own son\nAnd a tar made from R. Dana's cast.\"", "id": 12051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, the Greek poet from Crete,\nLoved to ponder the beauty of feet,\nTo pamper his toes\nWith the oil of the rose,\nAnd to polish his balls as a treat.", "id": 12052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "She was lovely, demure, not a nag,\nWas young Abishag\u2014far from a hag\u2014\n\"But what am I, a tarp? It\nIs that or a carpet,\nAnd all the king wants is a shag.\"", "id": 12088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Blushed Ruth, \"Boaz seems a nice man.\"\nMused Naomi, \"Hmm...he's in our clan...\nPerhaps we can parlay\nYour ephah of barley\nInto something much nicer than bran?\"", "id": 12089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Scolded God, \"You're a garment I claimed\n'Til you made yourself messy and maimed.\nNow my stomach's acurdle\nTo think such a girdle\nShould cleave to my loins. Be ashamed.\"", "id": 12090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Here the sand meets the waves of the sea,\nJust as pretty a beach as can be.\nBut beware of tsunami,\nPollution\u2014and Mommy,\nPlease rub on some sunscreen for me.", "id": 12093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When we're born, we start life and start being,\nCommence breathing and hearing and seeing.\nSo much more than just this\u2014\nSigh's a sigh, kiss a kiss.\nLife's a trip\u2014lots of we-, thee-, and me-ing.", "id": 12094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Is the silkworm a driveling fool\nWhen its paired spinnerets emit drool?\nDrying out, it will have\nLengthy double-thread bave\nFor to wind 'round itself, like a spool.", "id": 12095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nyhteg", "limerick": "When a sedative sleep is intended,\nA barbiturate drug could be splendid.\nBut the dose that you choose\nMust be right, or your snooze\nCould be fatally overextended.", "id": 12096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "KHC", "limerick": "The Yankee thug's favorite conveyance?\nHis snowmobile, now in abeyance.\nHe said he would brawl:\n\"I will fight wid youse all...\"\nConfounded by blind ignoreyance.", "id": 12097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "Bacteriosis is my diagnosis;\nSome germs would produce bromhidrosis,\nThe toxoplasmosis,\nAnd, yes, halitosis \u2014\nBut drinking's what's gave you cirrhosis.", "id": 12098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "We gave pet stores no thought when we shopped\nFor a housepet we sought to adopt.\nHeading straight to the shelter,\nWe found our heart-melter\u2014\nA canine that couldn't be topped!", "id": 12099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Karner Blue and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acculturation's the process whereby\nA piglet gets used to its sty.\nIt involves no silk purses,\nNor Robert Frost verses,\nNor music of ages gone by.", "id": 12100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Over airwaves the sounds get relayed\u2014\nMaybe miles, across continents\u2014made\nTo arrive in my ear\nTo allow me to hear\nAural wonders with radio's aid.", "id": 12101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I once asked of my publishing rep,\n\"Why is changing my name the next step?\"\nAnd he said, \"We agree\nWe can live with 'J. E.',\nBut your ananym will be 'Tittep'.\"", "id": 12102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I bade him his story to tell,\nUnaware that on details he'd dwell;\nOn and on did he drone,\nEvery word overblown,\n'Til I bade him a hasty farewell.", "id": 12103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In each year you can divvy by four,\nBaby-kissers try showing rapport.\nVote-getters have proven\nIt sure is behooven;\nSmart pols kiss cute babies to score.", "id": 12104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An allergic young woman named Sonya\nFound that flowers had caused her pneumonia.\n Bring her not a bouquet,\n Or she'll angrily say,\n\"Go away! Now be gone, you begonia!\"", "id": 12105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Since the party was boring, I ran,\nAnd enacted my sly backup plan.\n  I just faked a small cough;\n  Said, \"I have to beg off,\nAs I'm not feeling well. Sorry, man.\"", "id": 12106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Notre Dame had a hunchback who fell\nTo the ground with a sickening yell.\n The state coroner said\n Upon finding him dead,\n\"Quasimodo... the name rings a bell.\"", "id": 12107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "There once was a frog in a bog\nWho was handy with wood and a cog.\nHe said, \"Digital clock?\nLCD I just mock;\nAll I need is a watch, analog.\"", "id": 12108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though blood brotherhood causes me strife\nWhen we each cut our hands with a knife,\n Once we press them together,\n No matter the weather,\nWe're friends and blood brothers for life.", "id": 12109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Round the fire, as smoke rose in a billow,\nI said, \"Someone's run off with my pillow,\n It was rounded and hard.\"\n Bob, who'd taken first guard,\nSaid, \"It left; 'twas a young armadillo.\"", "id": 12110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An abuser partakes in abusion,\nWhich should not create any confusion.\n With the rules, he plays loose,\n And gives evil abuse\nWhether dealt out by words or contusion.", "id": 12111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If a thing will occur before long,\nThat means soon. If I'm singing a song,\nBefore long (you can bet)\n There'll be someone upset,\nWhose loud gong will be proof I've done wrong.", "id": 12112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A young anarchist mister'd insist\nThat the government shouldn't exist.\n Yet if medical care\n And paved roads were not there,\nI imagine that he would be pissed.", "id": 12113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "If a flower could take college form,\nAn androecium would be its men's dorm.\nPollination of Flowers\nWould earn credit hours,\nWith labs in its pistil the norm.", "id": 12114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Averse: if not one word but two,\nHas dissimilar sense, you'll construe.\nAll one's \"disinclined\"\nWhile two's \"rhyme refined\".\nI loathe the confusion, don't you?", "id": 12115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "They say vitamin C prevents scurvy,\nKeeping lenses of eyes clear and curvy;\nIt's an iron absorbate\n(In pill form, ascorbate):\nWithout it, joints clot topsy-turvy.", "id": 12116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In all systems we've ever observed,\nThe baryon number's conserved.\nGo annihilate quarks!\nStrain space 'til it sparks!\nThe Accountant is never unnerved.", "id": 12118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "To the town, folks from near and from far\nCome to shop at the weekly bazaar.\nCorn and cabbage and milk\nCan be found beside silk,\nAs much as can fit in the car.", "id": 12119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "You're peculiar and freakish, I fear.\nYour aberrancy's ample, it's clear.\nYou're atypical, weird;\nLike a duck with a beard \u2014\nAnd that's why I adore you, my dear.", "id": 12120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Aboard means to be on a train\nOr a ship, and in these days, a 'plane.\nSo the cry \"all aboard\"\nShould not be ignored,\nElse behind's where you'll surely remain.", "id": 12121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Extra accented rhythms in hand,\nHe plays rock in an awesome new band.\nHe gets all of his kicks\nFrom his drumsticks' hot licks,\nAnd his backbeat's the best in the land.", "id": 12122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "A black ape is no ape (though it's black),\nBut a Celebes crested macaque:\nA monkey that's found\nIn a troop on the ground,\nMunching fruit or a lizardy snack.", "id": 12123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ronnie Barker won't joke any more\nIn his Open All Hours sitcom store,\nOr eat Porridge in jail,\nOr with Corbett regale:\nDeath has sadly shut Ronnie's last door.", "id": 12125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aminopterin: chemical that's\nOf no use to build proteins or fats.\nYou would not want to eat it\nOr serve as a treat; it\nIs used as a poison for rats.", "id": 12126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"My game bird is gamy,\" I railed\u2014\n\"Your recipe clearly has failed.\nThis bobwhite's the worst:\nJust try plucking it first!\"\nAnd the kitchen staff visibly quailed.", "id": 12127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's another deserving of blame\nFor divulging a CIA name,\nBut I sit in this cell\nFor refusing to tell\nWho told me about Valerie Plame.", "id": 12129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Matt's parents pay fees to a finder\nFor a nanny who's put through the grinder.\nShe quits with a wave\nWhen the kid won't behave.\nIt's a case here of Matt over minder.", "id": 12130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your calumnies show your committal\nTo bad-mouth, disparage, and whittle\nMe down to your size.\nYou're a runt in my eyes!\n(So is that how it feels to belittle?)", "id": 12131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Roast beast by the Grinch was allotted\nTo Whos, who responded, besotted,\nWith shouts and applause,\nWhile the heart of this Claus\nGrew three sizes\u2014and burst his carotid.", "id": 12132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An artist of eminent rank\nTold his students, by way of a prank,\nAs they tried to decide\nWhy no ink was applied,\n\"Pay attention! I'm drawing a blank!\"", "id": 12133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If a pedlar in Athens declares\nYou'll receive, if you purchase his wares,\nA free grizzly that dances,\nDon't take any chances\u2014\nBeware of a Greek gifting bears.", "id": 12134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "In the mind is it nobler to die?\nOr to fight without questioning why?\nShould I face my life's lot?\nShould I be, should I not?\nThat's the question; check all that apply.", "id": 12135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There once was a little French chamois\nWho frolicked on rocks near his mamois.\nHis blameless young fun\nWas then wrecked by a gun,\nAnd he's now washing cars in Miamois.", "id": 12136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the jungle, those nudist de Graafs\nHeard the laughing hyenas' sly laughs,\nSo erected a wall,\nAnd again bared their all \u2014\nBut then heard the rude laughs of giraffes.", "id": 12137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A scary young Goth named Cordelia\nKeeps needles as memorabilia.\nSyringes and swords\nGet her hot as she hoards\nThem. I think she's got belonephilia!", "id": 12139, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In this furnace, an air blast removes\nImperfections; the ore it improves.\nAs slag floats to the top,\nMolten metal will drop\nTo be cast into pigs without hooves.", "id": 12140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "The spiked bird-of-paradise bloom\nDraws eyes from all over the room.\nWith its bright-hued display,\nStrelitzia's spray\nResembles a tropic-bird's plume.", "id": 12141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "We've arrived at the doom that we dreaded.\nAnd now into bloodshed we're headed!\nThe violent clashes\nAnd skin-metal crashes\nAre all for a tank of unleaded!", "id": 12142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Colorado? I filmed there last fall\nFor a tourism piece, I recall,\nTitled Aurulent\u2014yes,\nLeaving viewers to guess\nIt meant \"Golden in color\", you all.", "id": 12143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "You're apheliotropic, you say?\nAnd a leaf or a root? That's okay.\nSo you know, it's the sun\nAnd its light that you shun,\nAlways choosing to go your own way.", "id": 12144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "A bazooka to hunt with, my dear?\nPlease don't shoot it at anything near,\nFor it's then you will find\nThe game loses its mind,\nAnd a bull moose might end up asteer.", "id": 12145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "In Switzerland's Alps, you will learn\nOf this breed from the canton of Berne.\nIt's a tricolored (tan,\nBlack, and white) friend of man\nWho pulls carts and gives flocks his concern.", "id": 12146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "You were born years ago on this day,\nWith some parts you don't often display.\n So I bought a machine\n That can help keep them clean,\nAnd it's all for you \u2014 Happy Bidet!", "id": 12147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An arboreal monkey agrees\nThat there's nothing as lovely as trees,\n As did Kilmer (you know him),\n Who wrote that no poem\nCan do more than nature to please.", "id": 12148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "As a month, it helps open the spring,\nProving time Marches on \u2014 no small thing.\nRains will commonly fall\nIn this time when we all\nLook to what next month's climate May bring.", "id": 12149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "ACL is a part of the knee.\nWhy's this ligament well known to me?\nWell, my poor injured dad\nHurt his cruciate bad,\nHad anterior knee surgery.", "id": 12150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "My valence is one. That will do.\nA radical ring, well, who knew?\nShould this still not suffice,\nThen to be more precise:\nI am C6H5CH2.", "id": 12151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "\"Hey Doc,\" I said, \"please tell me straight.\nWhat's the reason I don't feel too great?\nOh my God! The Big C?\"\nHe said, \"Listen to me:\nYou need not be resigned to your fate.\"", "id": 12152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Behold the most ripe avocado:\t\nIts nature is sometimes like Lotto.\nOnce its rough skin you peel,\nWhat will it reveal?\nIt's the pits if the inside is rotto.", "id": 12153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Behind is in back of, or past;\nAt the end of a queue, where you're last;\nRunning late when you're lagging\nAnd both feet are dragging\u2014\nYou'll stay there unless you go fast!", "id": 12154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Precious cargo's in storage below,\nFrom wherever the salty winds blow.\nIf our argosy sails\nPast the pirates and gales,\nWe'll repay the huge debts that we owe.", "id": 12155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "What an arrogant, bigheaded pain!\nSo pretentious, immodest, and vain!\nYour presumptuous show\nIs absurd; you should know\nThat on top is where I shall remain!", "id": 12156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "In the course of my dream I was struck\nWith the thought that all once was amuck.\nThen spoke God, with a holler,\n\"If you'll donate a dollar,\nYou will get a big bang for your buck!\"", "id": 12157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Wearing green cap and gown with gold tassels,\nNick was honored to leave high school hassles.\nThen his classmate, cap doffed,\nArched his back, flipped aloft,\nAnd descended to praise by the passels.", "id": 12158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "My aloha to you is a greeting\nWith a kiss and embrace when we're meeting.\nAnd a lei\u2014oh, how sweet\nAs an extra love treat!\nWas it good for you, too, or just fleeting?", "id": 12159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All romance my sweet William eschews\nWhen he woos me with pizza and booze.\nThough he's wantin', I won't,\nCuz, you see, Billy don't\nEver send me those sweet billets-doux.", "id": 12160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Beleaguered, a lion denied\nHis own hunger and tried to provide\nFor his litter of cubs,\nBut they withered like scrubs,\nSo he quit and just swallowed his pride.", "id": 12161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "When Balboa first saw the Pacific,\nHis claim made for Spain was terrific.\nBut he'd stolen command,\nWhich was not as Spain planned,\nSo the court chopped his head \u2014 quite horrific.", "id": 12162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Though my triumphs can gleam almost prismally,\nMy efforts will sometimes fail dismally.\nWhile you might not know beans,\nYou'll know just what this means,\nIf I've done more than write this abysmally.", "id": 12163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Today, my dear cat I interred,\nBut her death should have never occurred.\nNeighbors caused me this grief;\nFed her tainted raw beef.\nLater, \"tongue got your cat\"'s what I heard.", "id": 12164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Tiny blood platelets (thrombocytes) aid\nIn the forming of clots, rightly made\nWhen you've cut yourself, but\nIf an artery's shut\nBy a clot, you might die, I'm afraid.", "id": 12166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A collapsar's a gravity whisk;\nOn approaching, you run a great risk\nThat your atoms will flow\nIn a gamma-ray glow\nAnd accrete in a spiraling disk.", "id": 12167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For this bullfinch, the Azores are home.\nHe's a songbird unlikely to roam.\nTo the birder's despair,\nHe may soon be as rare\nAs a baldheaded man with a comb.", "id": 12168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the dog-ate-my-homework excuse\nWas rebuffed, and the prof said, \"No use,\nYou'll be flunking the final,\"\nI switched to anginal\nDiscomfort\u2014my aegrotat ruse.", "id": 12169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My compulsions are running amuck.\nI'm a picky, fastidious schmuck,\nVery hard to assuage.\nMy development stage?\nIt's the anal at which I seem stuck.", "id": 12170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My bichon fills her owner with glee,\nSo a bone's the reward she will see.\nWill this white-haired fris\u00e9\nThink it's wit or clich\u00e9\nWhen I say to her, \"Bone appetit!\"?", "id": 12171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "He's bilingual \u2014 a wonderful skill.\nBut it brings an ambivalent thrill:\nHow the hell can he choose\nWhich language to use\nFor his limerick?...a pair fills the bill!", "id": 12174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the spring a pained Eskimo groaned\nAt the mound of foul birds he'd deboned.\nThough his wife had no freezer,\nIt strangely would please her\nTo see not a tern left unstoned.", "id": 12175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Once a beaver worked wonders with wood,\nBuilding dams, like a good beaver should.\nSadly, something he wouldn't do \u2014\nIn fact, that he couldn't do \u2014\nWas swim, though he wished that he could.", "id": 12176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Blondes are easy to please, it appears,\nFor their eyes seem to sparkle, the dears,\nWhen you give them a cheap\nLittle flashlight to keep\nAnd to shine in their pretty pink ears.", "id": 12177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I must place Himalaya's chilled yeti\nOn Africa's baked Serengeti,\nA sweltering clime,\nBut the only fit rhyme\nFor a yeti poetically petty.", "id": 12178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When you find that you're not in the black,\nTry to borrow the lucre you lack\nFrom a pessimist slob\nLike your rich Uncle Bob,\nWho won't bank on you giving it back.", "id": 12179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Bahamas are right off our coast\u2014\nFrom Miami, an hour at most.\nThe proximity's handy,\nThe beaches are sandy,\nBut look at me\u2014white as a ghost!", "id": 12180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My honey's a week overdue\nAnd the baby's about to debut.\nSo I'm anxiously pacing.\nMy heartbeat is racing.\nAs a parent, I haven't a clue!", "id": 12181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I'm missing my feet and my toes.\nI'd sneeze, but I haven't a nose,\nOr a head, come to think...\nI can't hear, I can't drink.\nThis acephalopodia blows!", "id": 12182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The fountain of youth's an old notion.\nNow Botox is fashion's chic potion.\nInjections allow\nYour cheek and your brow\nTo be smooth and avoid all emotion.", "id": 12183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "While I doubt that your contract's extendable,\nIt's a rule that I could see as bendable.\nIf my palm could be greased\n(Several hundred at least),\nOur arrangement just might be amendable.", "id": 12184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "While you speak, is your audience snoring?\n\"Listen up, please!\" you're always imploring?\nWell, I hate to be rude...\nHope I'm not misconstrued...\nBut the reason is simple: you're boring!", "id": 12185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Though the food hit your stomach quite heavily\nAt the Borscht Belt resorts like the Nevele,\nIt was kosher, at least!\nJewish guests used to feast\nThrough the day and all night until reveille.", "id": 12186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "With his humor and temperament manic,\nDouglas Adams advised us, \"Don't Panic.\"\nWith his fish in my ear,\nI've got quite a career...\nI'm Hotblack Desiato's mechanic!", "id": 12187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "She gets vitamins through a syringe;\nIn her stupor, she feels not a twinge.\nSee, she got this mad urge\nWhich compelled her to \"Purge!\"\nBut she kept on forgetting to binge.", "id": 12188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I've been touring through Europe this year,\nDoing serious research... on beer!\nI've tried hundreds while here;\nWhat's my favorite? It's clear:\n\"To heaven and bock\" is my cheer!", "id": 12189, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Listen, Pete, would you give it a rest?\nIt was clear that the gig had you stressed...\nAnd who knew that those lads\nWould be more than just fads?\nYour leaving was all for the Best!", "id": 12190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If you'd like a locale to get lost in,\nThen forget about Cleveland or Austin.\nChoose a city of age\nWith its roads full of rage,\nAnd its streets made from cowpaths, like Boston!", "id": 12191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "How dare you accuse me of shrewishness?\nAll I said is \"Your blood lacks for bluishness.\"\nIt's a fact: You're a peasant!\nYou're rather unpleasant...\nYour smell?  A suggestion of zoo-ishness.", "id": 12192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I don't want to come off as a meany,\nBut our waitress's brain must be teeny!\nLook, she brought caviar\u2014\nDoes she think I'm the Czar?\nI asked her for blintzes, not blini!", "id": 12193, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Though you've plenty of beauty and charm,\nI'll depart now in haste and alarm\u2014\nIf that hulk bringing drinks\nIs your beau, then methinks\nI'm about to face bodily harm.", "id": 12194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Now, I don't speak your language, I fear,\nYet your meaning's abundantly clear.\nI'm no mind-reading boy,\nOr an empath like Troi...\nIt's this Babel fish stuck in my ear.", "id": 12195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "You're upset\u2014they accuse you of blandness?\nWell, your deeds are all marked by their grandness!\nWith the Mob you've been warring;\nWho cares if you're boring?\nReturn to the subject at hand, Ness!", "id": 12196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "The aesthesiometer I,\nAs your doctor, will use to apply\nThe sensations of pricks\nAnd the distance betwix'.\nSoon I'll know if your neurons are spry.", "id": 12197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "A description's quite hard, Euclid knows,\nOf right angle.  In shape its route goes\nBy a straight line to where\nIt bends back over there.\nIn a square, there are four that oppose.", "id": 12198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Bilbo Baggins's epic endeavor\nWas arranged by a Wizard most clever.\nThough his ring brought him fame,\nIt made Gollum exclaim,\n\"We hates it!  We hates it forever!\"", "id": 12199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Some composers, as everyone knows,\nBorrow money as well as compose.\nRichard Wagner is yet\nThe most deeply in debt,\nWhile Hector, of course, Berlioz.", "id": 12200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "This incredible film is fantastic!\nHemostatic, but not made of plastic.\nI can tell you firsthand,\nIt's absorbable, and\nMade of gelatin \u2014 strong, but elastic!", "id": 12202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Among the gourmet cognoscenti\nDwells a man who eats garlic aplenty.\nIn his own special style,\nThe alliophile\nNever adds just one clove \u2014 he adds twenty!", "id": 12203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "She had said I was handsome and funny,\nStarted calling me \"sweetheart\" and \"honey\".\nThen one day I caught on:\nIt had all been a con!\nShe beglamoured me \u2014 then stole my money.", "id": 12204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Melamid, Alexandr makes aert.\nHe's an aertist. I firmly impart:\nIf you wish to be smartest,\nDon't call him an \"artist\" \u2014\nOr Aelex'll tear you aepart!", "id": 12205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "While machines work with sensors and gears\nAll designed by the best engineers,\nPeople do it organically\n(Biomechanically)\u2014\nLigaments, muscles and ears.", "id": 12206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antitumoral agents are those\nWe prescribe for a cancer that grows\nAt a moderate rate.\nAfter chemo we wait,\nFingers crossed, till we see how it goes.", "id": 12207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a land where two languages thrive,\nLike America, people may strive\nTo learn both\u2014and that works,\nBut some Anglophone jerks\nSay they'd rather be buried alive.", "id": 12208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm leery of power too great,\nLike that which resides in the state.\nI'm glad to see more\nOf antiauthor-\nitarianism of late.", "id": 12209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've a fancy design on my desk\nWith a pattern they call arabesque.\nIt has foliage, flowers,\nSome fruit-laden bowers . . .\nLet's face it, it's truly grotesque.", "id": 12210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's the ballsiest fellow I know,\nWith cojones as big as they grow.\nThough he's down on his luck,\nHe's the model of pluck\nAt the elephantiasis show.", "id": 12211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alteratives are drugs that restore\nYou to wellness or health, and what's more,\nThere's this dynamite herb\n(I've been reading a blurb)\nThat ensures you'll grow hair and won't snore!", "id": 12212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A barfly\u2014belligerent, barmy\u2014\nWas threatening bodily harm. He\nWas told by a chap,\n\"I'd be shutting your trap,\"\nAnd retorted with, \"You and what army?\"", "id": 12214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a palace one sultry July\nNear Paree, a jeune fille caught my eye.\nShe bewitched me that day\nAnd I fell right away\nEn amour. It was love at Versailles.", "id": 12215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a lab under scientists' gaze\nSits a rat who's not eaten for days.\nHe's bewildered and lost\nAnd will pay quite a cost\nIf he doesn't start wending his maze.", "id": 12216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Bilbao some inhabitants shun\nLearning Spanish and live by the gun.\nThey're resolved in their bid\nTo be free of Madrid,\nSo their culture can Basque in the sun.", "id": 12217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A barkentine captain named Wright\nStudied binary digits by night.\nHe was fooling around\nWhen his boat ran aground.\nNow his barque is much worse than his byte.", "id": 12218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "No Washington Redskins appear\nTo have noses to grindstones this year.\nThey're just rich sons-a-bitches\u2014\nToo big for their britches\u2014\nAll chiefs and no Indians here.", "id": 12220, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Says a braggart (who's out of his gourd):\n\"With this blade the Queen made me a Lord!\"\nHe's at every parade\nWith his saber displayed,\nSo we've dubbed it his \"dub-alleged sword.\"", "id": 12221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We guys at McDonald's despise\nOl' Nick on the fryer, who tries\nLike the devil to show\nHow it's our jobs that blow.\nHe's Beelzebub, Lord of the Fries.", "id": 12222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We've been eager to party and drink,\nBut the tap on the keg's on the blink.\nSo it's soda, not beer\u2014\nNothing's happening here.\nKinda sadder Budweiser, I think.", "id": 12223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Most election reformers believe\nContributions are bad. (How na\u00efve!)\nBut my Bible instructs\nWhat to do with my bucks:\nSays it's better to give, then receive.", "id": 12224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The man of my dreams was a beatnik,\nThe cool and adorably sweet Nick,\nBut he altered his ways\u2014\nThe Vandyke, the berets\u2014\nAnd became an unbearable neatnik.", "id": 12225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are rifles, a dagger and sheath,\nAnd bazookas I bought to bequeath\nTo each daughter and son,\nSince I live by the gun\nAnd my heirs must be armed to the teeth.", "id": 12226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The National Zoo had a pair\nOf adorable pandas with flair.\nThey were Ling-Ling and Hsing-Hsing,\nThe forebears of Bling-Bling,\nTheir gold-sporting, hip-hopping heir.", "id": 12227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bible Belt: Here is a phrase\nThat brings back my altar boy days,\nWhen a wine-induced buzz\n(Sacramental it was)\nFrom some belts led to bibulous praise.", "id": 12228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aberdare, in Glamorgan, South Wales,\nIs a town where the coal sat on scales,\nAnd the ironworks bustled\nWhile mineworkers hustled\nFrom pitheads to taverns for ales.", "id": 12229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Young Skywalker's caught in a pother\nOf feelings that fluster and bother.\nHe's stunned for a while\n(Anagnorisis-style)\nWhen Darth Vader says, \"Luke, I'm your father.\"", "id": 12230, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Absinthin is found at the core\nOf the wormwood (a plant), and there's more:\nIt's a compound that's white,\nWhich a chemist might cite\nAs C15H20O4.", "id": 12231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A clause in a contract or creed;\nA newspaper story we read;\nAn item we see\nIn a shop; the word the:\nAll are articles, different in breed.", "id": 12232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Algebraists use vectors and rings\nAnd are facile with Boolean strings.\nThough these nerds, as a rule,\nCan at times seem the fool,\nIn a math class they're treated as kings.", "id": 12233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I take off the lid, I discern\nAn aroma so pungent I turn\nIn disgust and defense.\nAmmoniacal scents\nFrom the pee in a chamber pot burn.", "id": 12234, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I travel each year to Bordeaux,\nMy electric appliances blow.\nSo I've bought an adaptor,\nInstalled 'er, and tapped 'er;\nShe's helping the power to flow.", "id": 12235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a genus of herbs that delights\u2014\nShowy flowers in purples and whites.\nBut Abronia, too,\nIs a lizard that you\nCan espy in arboreal heights.", "id": 12236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We're attending a masquerade party,\nMy wife in a get-up that's tarty.\nShe's playing the whore;\nI'm her john and a bore\nIn an ascot, pretentious and arty.", "id": 12237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The aroma this flower emits\nFrom its nectar is giving me fits.\nIt's a carrion smell\nThat some insects find swell.\nThe American pawpaw? The pits!", "id": 12238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the town of Juarez lived a gringo\nNamed Bing who was learning the lingo.\nHe hung in a hall\nWhere \"B tres\" was the call.\nAfter shouting \"Ol\u00e9!\" where did Bing go?", "id": 12239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Can you spare me a dime\u2014or a few, sir?\nI'm down and I'm out\u2014unlike you, sir.\nI swear I won't go\nBuying booze with the dough,\n'Cause this beggar cannot be a juicer.", "id": 12240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For the physicist, deuterons seem\nTo engender respect and esteem.\nIf he's looking for \"cool,\"\nAntideuterons rule\u2014\nAnd together, the two are a scream!", "id": 12241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the things you're comparing are two,\nThen between is the word that will do.\nIf you're speaking of three,\nUse among, some decree.\n(That's malarkey, between me and you.)", "id": 12242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a patient (a guy I'll call Doug)\nOn an anticoagulant drug.\nWhen he's cut he can't clot,\nAnd he bleeds quite a lot,\nSo to catch it he carries a jug.", "id": 12243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I suffer a form of displacement\u2014\nA friend-induced psychic effacement.\nFeeling humbled and low,\nI've decided to go\nAnd reside like a schmo in abasement.", "id": 12244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They gamble and drink with bravado\nIn Vegas, this place with the motto:\n\"What happens here, stays here.\"\nThey walk in a daze here\u2014\nThe losers and boozers are blotto.", "id": 12245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Let's face it, I know I'm a lush,\nGetting red in the face as I rush\nTo imbibe every day\nThree carafes of ros\u00e9.\nLike the vino I drink, I'm ablush.", "id": 12246, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a caterer bringing the waiter\nHis stuff, like the cheese and the grater.\nThis victualer dude\nWho's supplying the food\nWas in olden days called the acater.", "id": 12248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antimissiles were widely deployed\nBy defenses that sought to avoid\nGetting hammered by Scuds,\nWhich turned out to be duds.\nOn reentry, a lot self-destroyed.", "id": 12249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm that truck on your rear on the road\nDoing seventy hauling my load.\nYep, a twenty-ton Mack\n18-wheeler. Get back\nTo the right 'cause I hate to be slowed.", "id": 12250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The person who did this is blameless.\nSo, Officer, please keep him nameless.\nThough I'm shot in the foot,\nThere's no reason to put\nIn your book I'm the shooter\u2014and aimless.", "id": 12251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a river that clearly to fans is\nA gem, and I'm told by old hands is\nFor flatboats, not schooners.\nBoth Jayhawks and Sooners\nLike fishing the mighty Arkansas.", "id": 12252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A beater of bushes named Fitch\nSpent the night with an amorous bitch.\nOn safari next day,\nHe was eaten by prey\nAfter falling asleep at the switch.", "id": 12253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "\"Last night's concert was something to see!\n'Twas outdoors\u2014in a bowl\u2014'neath a tree!\"\nTo my mom I explained,\n\"I was thus entertained\nOh so amphitheatrically!\"", "id": 12255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The anathematized poets are terse,\nAnd producing our paper's their curse.\nVia anapest masters,\nObits and disasters\nAre moving from bad into verse.", "id": 12256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Coyotes come out of the wood\nSeeking food in our nice neighborhood,\nCreating an atmosphere\nEach outdoor cat must fear,\nKnowing he'd taste really good.", "id": 12257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Let me spell it out, plain, harsh, and true.\nThey are felled. With an ax. Fixed with glue.\nThey're not glad. They can't mourn.\nThey can't move unless borne\nOn the shoulders of blockheads like you.", "id": 12258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"My Lord be exalted,\" intoned\nAdoniram, extortion skills honed.\nThey didn't adore him,\nThey couldn't ignore him;\nTheir tribute? With stones he was stoned.", "id": 12259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An agent, part moxie, part purr,\nWas sent by her bosses to spur\nUs to dabble in crime.\nNow we're serving our time.\nThis provocateur's put us in stir.", "id": 12260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since driving while drunk takes a toll,\nABC plays a meaningful role.\nAll our packies refuse\nTo sell teenagers booze.\nHere's to Alcohol Beverage Control!", "id": 12261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the quarterback uses an audible,\nHis motive is patently laudable.\nThe fans rate the play,\nAnd they say it's okay\nBy their clapping, which makes it applaudable.", "id": 12262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After catching and cleaning a fish\n(Leaving scales as they are, if you wish),\nYou can simmer some water\nAnd poach it, which oughta\nMake fish cooked au bleu as your dish.", "id": 12263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a town with a sweltering feel,\nCalled Kalemie (and once Albertville).\nIn the Congo on Lake\nTanganyika, you'll bake\nAs you fish with your rod and your reel.", "id": 12264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In centesis, the needle they use\nFor the stomach's so long, some refuse\nTo be stuck in the gut.\nAn abdominal cut\nAnd a snooze is the option they choose.", "id": 12266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abbreviatures help us to learn.\nThey're abridgments\u2014the books that we turn\nTo when finals are near\nAnd we've partied all year,\nSkipping classes with little concern.", "id": 12267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "ABS is a system, they say,\nThat is saving our lives every day.\nI can stop on a dime\nWith my brakes, and so I'm\nHere to cheer, \"Antilocking? Hooray!\"", "id": 12268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With my pack-a-day habit, I'm frail.\nLots of coughin' and wheezin'\u2014I ail.\nLet's face it, I'm croakin';\nNo time to stop smokin'.\nMy coffin's in need of a nail.", "id": 12269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The ablepharous adder relies,\nWhen he hunts, on his quickness and size,\nBut it surely can't hurt\nThat he's always alert,\nSince he doesn't have lids on his eyes.", "id": 12270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My buddy, who's devil-may-care,\nHas decided to wrestle a bear.\nIt's a bare-handed fight,\nSo let's pause, if we might,\nAnd extend him our paws and a prayer.", "id": 12271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aglaomorpha are often entwined\nIn subtropical trees and confined\nJust to Asia, one learns.\nThey are epiphytes\u2014ferns\nWith no roots, and they boggle the mind.", "id": 12272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After schmoozing and boozing in June,\nI'll be singing the temperance tune.\nIn July you will see\nHow abstentious I'll be\u2014\nWhen I no longer drink before noon.", "id": 12273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My libido was strong and licentious,\nAnd my appetite unconscientious,\nBut those sexual surges\nAnd gluttonous urges\nAre gone. Call me Mr. Abstentious.", "id": 12274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "4-H'ers are kids for whom farms\nHave such healthy and heartwarming charms\nThat their hands and their heads\n(Through support from the Feds)\nDo the work. There's no twisting of arms.", "id": 12275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "Aerography measures the sky\nTo discern if the air's wet or dry.\nIf there's too strong a wind\nOr the pressure has thinned,\nThe bad weather won't let our jets fly.", "id": 12276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The aerial, hard to believe,\nHelps radio sets to receive.\nI use one, you bet,\nBut detached from the set,\nAs a pointer \u2014 it's stored in my sleeve.", "id": 12277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Any person who would be elected\nTo alderman should be expected\nTo have decent knowledge;\nDegrees from a college\nAin't needed, but will be respected.", "id": 12278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A respectful Karnataka guy\nWill address every woman with bai,\nBut in Uttar Pradesh,\nHindi fellas are fresh\nAnd undress every bai with the eye.", "id": 12279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To cut or excise, you ablate\nExcess tissue and often lose weight.\nBut a scalpel can slip,\nSlice a muscle, and nip\nAll the abs I've been toning of late.", "id": 12281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When we wander or stray, we prefer\nTo abandon a path, as it were.\nWe aberr from a course\nThat is straight, like a horse\nThat has under its saddle a burr.", "id": 12282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The guests are astir and abroach\nIn the lobby, engaged in reproach\nOf the shocked personnel\nAt this fancy hotel,\nWhere each pillow's adorned with a roach.", "id": 12283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Agincourt, longbows embarrass\n(As Henry's proud Englishmen harass)\nThe French and their armor,\nThus forcing each farmer\nIn Arras to flee into Paris.", "id": 12284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In bed he'd become a distraction,\nWith demands that might land him in traction.\nSince I hid his Cialis\n(More mercy than malice),\nHe's back to all talk and no action.", "id": 12285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With flowering umbels and style,\nThe African lilies beguile.\nAgapanthus enthrall\nMost observers\u2014not all.\nSome Egyptians are still in denial.", "id": 12286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acuminose leaf's not your friend,\nSince it's narrow and flat at the end.\nIf you're stuck in the woods\nWithout papery goods,\nWider leaves are what folks recommend.", "id": 12288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the forest, a ranger is put\nOn alert, finding ashes and soot\nAt a camp where the bone\nOf a deer has been thrown.\nIt's a hoof, so the game is afoot!", "id": 12289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aganice studied the trips\nOf the earth and foresaw an eclipse.\nThen she bragged (like a loon)\nThat she governed the moon.\nNow unmasked, she's the butt of our quips.", "id": 12290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We mean by the word animality\nA beast's or a creature's vitality\u2014\nThose natural drives\nMaking animals' lives\nUnrestrained by ingrained rationality.", "id": 12291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's afraid to disclose that he's gay,\nSo one gal's on his arm every day.\nThe companion's a beard,\nBut she's hirsute and weird.\nSeems those whiskers should give her away.", "id": 12292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Got mice? Get a nice Siamese!\nFeed him Limburgers, cheddars, and Bries.\nLet him sit and exhale\nAnd they'll come, without fail,\nTo a breath that's been baited with cheese.", "id": 12293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a gal, it's a shoe with a strap,\nAnd a sock, kinda short, for a chap.\nIt's an ornament worn\nOn the leg to adorn.\nSo they're anklets, all three. That's a wrap!", "id": 12294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For this man, all the world is abuzz;\nWe're atwitter, whatever he does.\nMichael Jackson's his name,\nAnd his face is his fame\u2014\nWhat a shame that it's not what it was.", "id": 12296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Amethopterin: Yes, it's my drug,\nAnd it's toxic, so why do I shrug?\nIt's because of my cancer,\nFor which there's no answer.\nI'm glad they'll be pulling the plug.", "id": 12297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sightless adelopod's antsy,\nHis living inherently chancy.\nWhen he looks for a treat,\nHe finds nothing to eat.\nLike his feet, there are ants that he can't see.", "id": 12298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A long-winded loser named Smith\nFound a maxim to share with his kith.\nThe apothegm ran\nA few hours, a span\nThat was painfully lacking in pith.", "id": 12299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're a bookkeeper noting amounts\nAnd transactions in business accounts.\nIf your boss is a crook,\nHave the Feds take a look,\nBut beware 'cause it's you he'll denounce.", "id": 12300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a lean cut of meat, I suggest\nYou put Kansas's steaks to the test.\nGive a T-bone a try\nOr a tenderloin. Why?\nBecause Abilene beef is the best.", "id": 12301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These gals form a jittery faction\u2014\nUnmarried and prone to distraction.\nBiological clocks\nAnd their tickety-tocks\nAre provoking an ovary action.", "id": 12302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Among mammals who live in the trees,\nThe Acrobates surely will please.\nThese marsupial creatures\nHave avian features\nAnd glide through the forest with ease.", "id": 12303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A brewer keeps beers in his stock:\nAn ale for his favorite doc,\nA K\u00f6lsch for his tout,\nFor his broker a stout,\nAnd, best, for his barber a bock.", "id": 12304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With those letters (in pairs) in a row,\nThe word bookkeeper's striking; and so,\nKeeping book on the counts,\nIt's with pride I announce\nThat subbookkeeper's star of the show.", "id": 12305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The trappings of power are these:\nThe scepter, the crown, and the keys\nTo the coffer of gelt\nAnd the chastity belt\nOn the Queen. My accoutrements, please!", "id": 12306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Pharmaceutical companies make\nAnticancer prescriptions we take.\nIn this quest for a cure,\nCan the motives be pure\nGiven billions of bucks are at stake?", "id": 12307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These archaebacteria thrive\nIn a world where no others survive.\nThe milieu can be hot\nOr acidic; it's not\nWhere you're likely to snorkel or dive.", "id": 12308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a tiny Tasmanian college,\nA marsupial maven named Hollidge\nInspects seven pouches.\n\"They're small,\" he avouches,\nThus flaunting his bandicoot knowledge.", "id": 12309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If we'd rather not go on a cruise,\nThen Aloha's the airline we choose.\nWe can hop to Lanai\nAnd Oahu or fly\nTo Kauai to soak up the views.", "id": 12310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The QB is allowed to decline\nAny play of the coach's design.\nIf the cornerbacks show\nThey're expecting the throw,\nThen an audible's called at the line.", "id": 12311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He bats from both sides of the plate,\nSwinging lefty and righty of late.\nHe's a slugger with wood,\nAnd he wishes he could\nGet some balls down the middle and straight.", "id": 12312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Kansas, you're likely to find\nThat the cattle are paying no mind\nTo the quarrel and beef\nAbout Christians' belief\nThat the kine are divinely designed.", "id": 12313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the pollen so heavy, he sneezed;\nThen the aerobiologist wheezed.\nWhen he studied the air\nNear his home, his despair\nMade him move up to Nome, where he freezed.", "id": 12314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This atto-'s a prefix I've seen\nMeaning ten to the minus eighteen.\nA quintillionth seems small,\nBut our physicists all\nFind a nano- times nano- routine.", "id": 12315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alcapton's an acid that forms\nAs a product when tyrosine swarms,\nAs metabolites do\n(Phenylalanine, too)\nIn intense biochemical storms.", "id": 12316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anthozoans reside on the coral,\nAnd far from their mouths, their aboral\n(Or abactinal) end\nHas a function, my friend,\nThat a prude might consider immoral.", "id": 12317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In St. Louis, we folks don't abuse\nAny irons or putters we use.\nIt's through golf that I live,\nSo I'm bound not to give\nMy new driver, Big Bertha, the blues.", "id": 12319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Which official has talked to the press\nOff-the-record is anyone's guess.\nIt's how insiders choose\nTo deliver the news\u2014\nAnd the backgrounder's key to success!", "id": 12321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A black-and-white bear at the zoo\nLiked to loll as he chewed on bamboo.\nBeing fat when he died,\nHe was butchered and fried,\nMaking moo goo gai panda. (Eee-ew!)", "id": 12322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a man with a dog, and I'm blue\nCuz he's old and he's sick, and I rue.\nThere are times when a man\nDoes the best that he can,\nSo I'll do what a man has to do.", "id": 12323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a large and a small pipe connect,\nThe adapter will serve to correct\nFor their difference in girth.\nIt's a coupling and berth\nWhere the two of them mate, in effect.", "id": 12324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Politicians are guarded and tight\u2014\nWhile in office\u2014but afterwards might\nWork together and chill,\nLike George Sr. and Bill.\nThey're a pair of strange bedfellows, right?", "id": 12325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bush's policies seem, by design,\nAn attempt to ignore a decline\nIn the health of our poor\n(Who rate better, for sure).\nSuch neglect seems malign, not benign.", "id": 12326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many antitubercular drugs\nFight those mycobacteria\u2014bugs\nThat are spread every day.\nMy defense is to stay\nFar away, so I seldom give hugs.", "id": 12327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Dr. Abbott put spores in a goo\nKnown as alkaline methylene blue.\nThen some legerdemain\nWith an eosin stain\nBrought bacilli (turned pink) into view.", "id": 12328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Acocanthera are trees yer\nWill find causing cardiac seizure.\nTheir poison is strong,\nSo it doesn't belong\nWith the drugs yer been takin' at leisure.", "id": 12329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You see them in Uttar Pradesh\nWearing hot pants and stockings of mesh.\nI'm a passionate guy.\nThey are prostitutes. Why\nWould I buy such a bai? For the flesh!", "id": 12330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Having trifles and trinkets to sell,\nA solicitous Bedouin swell\nMight bedazzle the girls\nWith his brummagem pearls,\nBut to me he's Ameer Bagatelle.", "id": 12331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Don Levey and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Accommodate, Don and Chris showed,\nIs a cross between date and commode.\nThough my date thought it odious\nIn rooms incommodious,\nI thought, \"After dinner, I'm owed!\"", "id": 12332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once a suitable donor is found,\nThere's some chance to get healthy and sound,\nYet the path often narrows:\nTransplanting bone marrow's\nA journey on perilous ground!", "id": 12334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Albert Einstein one day, feeling bright,\nHad some arrowy thoughts about light,\nBut his speed had a cost,\nFor those thoughts were all lost\nWhen he thought himself back to last night.", "id": 12335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Blameless souls whose each impulse is pure\nNeed our filter turned on to be sure,\nFor if traces of vice\nSeldom strike them as nice,\nI'm quite sure they're too pure to endure.", "id": 12336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You will find, if you read all the best,\nThat the limerick's anapest-stressed:\nDiddy-dee diddy-dum\nIs its rhythm and, Chum,\nThis one's anapest-blessed like the rest.", "id": 12337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When a manuscript's long and complex, you\nMake sly annotations and checks. You\nAssault with your pen\nVirgin margins and then \u2014\nWell, I hope someone catches and decks you.", "id": 12338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Yes, the salesman, I fear, was quite right\nTo suspect that my brother's not bright.\n\"This guy's backward,\" he thought\nWhen poor Jonathon bought\nA new scarf and complained, \"It's too tight!\"", "id": 12339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Do beware, I declare, the rhinoceros,\nWhose temper is truly atroceros.\nSo do not, for Pete's sake,\nEver stupidly make\nAn obstroperos 'noceros croceros!", "id": 12340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A black swan ruled our waters today,\nHaving skied in on hisses of spray.\nBack and forth he swept by\nWith his regal head high,\nAntimonarchist me in his sway.", "id": 12341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Since a sorter of chickens, from Buckingham,\nIs chased by the chicks who are plucking 'em,\nHe heads twice a day\nFor some nook he (they say)\nCalls an alcove, and fancies for ducking 'em.", "id": 12342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ad eundem gradum's the rank\nYour degree will deserve, to be frank,\nIf the work you did there\nWas your own. Can you swear?\nIf you can't, you deserve such a spank!", "id": 12343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"My dear woman,\" the bishop announced,\n\"I will not let your vicar be trounced!\nAll the evidence seems\n(I refer to his screams)\nTo establish that you, Madam, pounced.\"", "id": 12344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "My A-to-Z limerick tool\nGoes from A's \"aa-bb-a\" rule\nOn to D's \"diddy dum\"\n(That's the beat I must strum)\nUntil Z's \"zany endings are cool!\"", "id": 12345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Automatic machines, without doubt,\nSuch as those put in laundromats, flout\nMoral codes I approve.\nThey suggest you remove\nAll your clothes when the light flickers out.", "id": 12346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "El Pedro, the posturing matador,\nBolts either through \"thees\" or through \"thatta\" door.\nHe's much less ambitious\nWhen bulls are real vicious,\nAnd doesn't waste time on the latter door.", "id": 12347, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When they bitch about husbands all day,\nWives will often admit (with dismay)\nThere are only two things\nBetween men and white wings:\nAll the things that they do and they say.", "id": 12348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though it fortifies words and can fuse two,\nThe hyphen has ways to abuse, too.\nIts short straight-line tether\nCan bring words together \u2014\nOr break them in two should it choose to.", "id": 12349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Aurea mediocritas, too,\nIs a rectangle known by all who\nPraise the Parthenon's features,\nOr leaves, or shelled creatures \u2014\nFibonacci's (go google) your clue.", "id": 12351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The Dutchman has claimed from the sea\nFertile acres that used not to be,\nBut each dyke he employs,\nPlaces little Dutch boys'\nNervous thumbs under pressure to flee.", "id": 12352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "This question leaves dolts in the dark\nWhen it's asked on its own for a lark.\nA philosopher's brain\nCould well drive him insane\nIf you asked him to answer this mark.", "id": 12353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The victorious King of Achaea\nTold his people, \"It's perfectly clear\nThose Spartans, defeated,\nDon't need to be treated\nAs threats we Achaeans should fear.\"", "id": 12355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A mummy, who died when he tripped,\nAwoke, found his wrappings had slipped.\nThe linen in hanks\nHad unrolled, spilt his ankhs.\nLoss of ankhs gave him angst in his crypt.", "id": 12356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Albinoism isn't much fun,\nAs you have to keep out of the sun,\nAnd then people stare\nAt your snowy white hair.\nAs for pigment, you simply have none.", "id": 12357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I should have examined the print,\nAs the builders have now left me skint.\nThe budgeted stuff\nWas expensive enough,\nBut the afterthoughts cost me a mint.", "id": 12358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Quite a lass for high fashion was Hester.\nShe couldn't abide polyester:\nShe dressed all in silk.\nAnd her bath? Ass's milk.\nThen promptly at six, a siesta.", "id": 12359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A hunky young stud assessed Hester,\nAnd reckoned his assets impressed her.\n\"I'm hung like a horse!\"\nShe replied, \"But of course\nIf you think I'm your mare you're a jester.\"", "id": 12360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "King Henry the Eighth often bedded\nYoung women, and several he wedded.\nBut each candidate bride\nFelt a terror inside\nAs she dreaded she might be beheaded.", "id": 12363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Amble closer; be sure you can hear:\nNearer, friends, and approach without fear.\nEt tu, Brute, he'd said,\nAs they'd stabbed, 'til he's dead.\nRomans, countrymen, lend me an ear.", "id": 12364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"It's a science: how flowers can cluster,\"\nBlared bellicose botanist Buster.\n\"Anthotaxy, in essence,\nDescribes inflorescence!\"\n(Declaimed with defiance and bluster.)", "id": 12365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The arrogant elephant tends\nTo avoid ever making amends,\nWhich can risk disaffection\nAnd outright rejection\nBy all of his elephant friends.", "id": 12366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Would an elephant's eloquence pale\nAnd his elegance fail to avail\nIf an angry retort\nIn a kangaroo court\nGot him shipped to an elephant jail?", "id": 12367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The assailant was dismally dim\nFor assailing a knight on a whim;\nYet the knight was disarming,\nAnd thoroughly charming,\nWhile assaying to hack off a limb.", "id": 12368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At the point that one's blood is inspected,\nAnd antigenemia's detected,\nIt's one symptom we see\nOf hepatitis type B,\nAnd clear evidence someone's infected.", "id": 12370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The lymphocyte granules retaining\nBlue aniline dyes, we're explaining,\nHave a name that's arcane,\nLike the cells with that grain:\nBoth are azurophilic in staining.", "id": 12371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a screwdriver fell for an awl,\nThere was clearly a point to his fall:\nSince the driver was driven\nTo screw\u2014that's a given\u2014\nThe driver was holey in thrall!", "id": 12372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The wisdom a Yogi bestowed:\n\"If you come to a fork in the road,\nYou should take it,\" he said.\nTake an aspirin instead,\nIf you feel like your head might explode.", "id": 12373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your bearing is regal, that's true.\nThe height of pretention? That's you!\nI neglected to mention,\nDon't stand at attention\nDisembarking a birch-bark canoe.", "id": 12375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A knitter annoyed by a knot\nIn a less-than-accessible spot\nCannot wish it away:\nWe're suggesting crochet,\nAs it's quicker to fix what you've got.", "id": 12376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The ace who is facing the batter\nThrows a curveball that's gotten much flatter.\nThe reliever's relieved\nSince they haven't perceived\nThat his pitching is slower and fatter.", "id": 12377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An acid-tongued lady named Sonya\nMade a meal of your basic begonia.\nFor the basic appeal\nOf a plain, basic meal,\nShe would wash it all down with ammonia.", "id": 12378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An accordion's where we have stored\nAll the tones we'd intended to hoard\n'Til we press on the keys,\nGive the bellows a squeeze,\nAnd the notes all rush out in dis-CORD.", "id": 12379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The melting of wintertime snows,\nLifeless ground, hard and cold, would expose.\nBut from winter repose,\nWhat arose was a rose,\nMaking scents that arose to my nose.", "id": 12380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Philosophical worms split in two\u2014\nEither half's point-of-view might be true.\nAny narrow de-scission\nCould need tunnel-vision:\nEach annelidan's own worm's-eye view.", "id": 12381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "'Neath Athena's own owl, we would see\u2014\nNear the hole in the bole of her tree\u2014\nTiny bones, here and there,\nIndigestible hair,\nAll disgorged in the pellet debris.", "id": 12382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"I believe that I owe an apology\nFor these apologues in my anthology.\"\nSo said Aesop the Fabler.\n(I hear he's now stabler\nSince his animals practice psychology.)", "id": 12383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though we feared we'd be leaving him stranded,\nThe man with one arm was quite candid:\nHe refused to be swayed\nBy our offers of aid,\nAnd he took on his task singlehanded.", "id": 12384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every morning I wake up and say\nThat I'm feeling unlike me today.\nBut the self that I've missed\nMay not really exist:\nRecollection's gone sadly astray.", "id": 12385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An airman with warlike intent\nWent to war with a bellicose bent.\nThis belligerent flier\nTook enemy fire,\nAnd returned more deceased than he went.", "id": 12386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The starfishes don't seem convivial,\nSo their parties are boring and trivial;\nBut when two of them meet,\nThey can wave their tube feet\nIn a two-legged greeting that's bivial.", "id": 12387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the ribosome's codon display\nShows a message requiring an \"A\",\nWhat clicks right into place\nIn its ribosome space?\nIt's an alanyl-tRNA.", "id": 12388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since the pear will apparently squeal,\nThe apple's pre-paring to deal.\nShe'd been bruising a melon,\nWhich makes her a felon,\nUnless she can win on a peel.", "id": 12389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In its spot in the slot that we know,\nWe're delighted it's quite apropos.\nThough it wouldn't be apt\nWhere it couldn't adapt,\nWere it not in the spot it should go.", "id": 12390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some criminals sent to the pillory\nHad maintained an illegal distillery,\nOr were sentenced for muggery,\nThuggery, buggery,\nStealing the guv'nor's artillery.", "id": 12391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An astronomer\u2014star-gazing feller\u2014\nFit his telescope with a propeller\nSo the starlight and such\nWouldn't twinkle as much.\n(What he knew about air wasn't stellar.)", "id": 12392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the costs have become astronomical\nIn our UFO's lab (anatomical),\nWe continue selecting,\nCollecting, dissecting\nEarth creatures whose features seem comical.", "id": 12394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My most baneful and poisonous glare,\nAnd my baleful and threatening stare\nAre reserved for the guys\nTelling scandalous lies\nWhile asserting they're balanced and fair.", "id": 12395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Tiny hearts deftly dotted each \"i\"\nIn the note that she wrote to her guy.\nBut it came as a shock\nThat it started, \"Cher Jacques,\"\nFor the beau who received it was Cy.", "id": 12397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bare-necked umbrella bird's crest\nHas a shape like a\u2014wait, oh, you've guessed.\nThis black tropical bird\nHas a name that's absurd,\nAnd a wattle in front of its breast.", "id": 12398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Harmonica music is poky,\nAnd polkas are painfully hokey;\nThe experts like smoking\nIn bars as they're choking\nOut bars of the best karaoke.", "id": 12400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a plight after plighting her trow\nTo a hundred new beaux in a row,\nShe has yet to confess\nHow she loves to say yes,\nWhich not one of her boys seems to know.", "id": 12401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'd have thought that the prospects were bleak\nTo complete such a task in a week:\nIn the beginning was Night,\nUntil \"Let there be Light!\"\nShowed Your awesome creative technique.", "id": 12402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What exists, had insisted the mystic,\nIs not nearly so clear and simplistic.\nWell beyond, I believe,\nWhat we see and perceive\nIs a beingness more realistic.", "id": 12403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "John Milton ate undercooked snacks\nBearing bladderworms: ribmeat and backs.\nThe results? Preordained.\nThere were Parasites Gained:\nLarval tapeworms encysted in sacks.", "id": 12404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Burt the Butcher bought goats and a cock\nAt an auction they held at the dock\u2014\nAll the goats he could get,\nSave one sold as a pet:\nThat's the luckiest kid on the block.", "id": 12405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "B sharp Major was majorly pissed:\nThey'd omitted his name, he'd insist.\n\"My Concerto for Harp\nIn the key of B sharp?\nI can't C why it's not on the list!\"", "id": 12406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Araguaia, where boating has flaws,\nIs a river that's named for macaws.\nThese are birds called arara\nNear Araraquara,\nA city whose name gives us pause.", "id": 12407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The satyr had wandered, oblivious\nThat the pathway he traveled was bivious,\nAs he seemed not to know\nThere were two ways to go\nIn pursuit of his int'rests lascivious.", "id": 12408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our boisterous boy's out of hand\u2014\nWay too noisy. We can't understand\nWhy he's running amok.\nWas it simply bad luck\nHe's not calm, like the child that we'd planned?", "id": 12409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I would bet on our getting bogged down\nIn that bog that's a slog out of town.\nWith our luck, we'll get stuck,\nIn the mire and the muck,\nAnd (it boggles the mind) we could drown.", "id": 12411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In my sitting room's sitting a cube\nThat encloses a cathode-ray tube.\nWondrous pictures appear,\nBut the sounds that I hear\nInclude messages meant for a boob.", "id": 12412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My Auntie Diluvian's peeve:\nShe's so ancient it's hard to conceive.\nShe remembers the Ark,\nBut\u2014in contrast so stark\u2014\nShe forgets us whenever we leave.", "id": 12413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In Baja, a landscape that's stark,\nGrows a succulent worth a remark:\nIt's described as a tree,\nAnd yet, how could that be\nWhen a boojum's a kind of a snark?", "id": 12414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This tropical shallow's replete\nWith a game fish that measures 3 feet.\nIt's your catch of the day?\nI should snatch it away:\nIt has too many bonelets to eat.", "id": 12415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Bilateralism implies\nTwo nations improving their ties,\nWhen they reach an accord\nOn which both are aboard,\nAdvantageous in everyone's eyes.", "id": 12416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A nut and a bolt were pursuing\nQuite an ill-augered effort at screwing.\nThe drill-bit, instead,\nHit the nail on the head\nWhen he said, \"What a tool! What's he's doing?\"", "id": 12417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Three nitrogens (\"Az\", en Fran\u00e7ais)\nHad their m\u00e9nage-\u00e0-trois go astray.\nWith their typical luck,\nThey could not come unstuck\nAnd emerged as an azide today.", "id": 12418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My Mitzi's too ditsy, I find,\nBut her butt drives me out of my mind.\nShe's afeared that I'll flee,\nBut she just doesn't see\nThat I never could leave her behind.", "id": 12419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The trouble with bitty wee mouses:\nThey insist on invading our houses,\nWhere they nap for the day,\nBut then happily play\nAnd carouse with their minuscule spouses.", "id": 12420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The shipwright was quickly demoted\nWhen the flaws in construction were noted.\nSince that boatbuilder's craft\nHad too shallow a draft,\nRafts of problems bobbed up when it floated.", "id": 12421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a blight on my record, I fear,\nThat our voyage is ending right here.\nThere is naught I can do\nWith our mutinous crew.\nThat's abundantly, bountifully, clear.", "id": 12422, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Her apparel appears to appeal\nTo a prurient sort of ideal.\nIt is slit down the sides,\nAnd reveals more than hides\nIn a half-assed attempt to conceal.", "id": 12423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a bondservant's bargain is made\nIt's to labor without being paid:\nIt's to dig in the turf\nAs a slave or a serf,\nOr assist with a herd or a trade.", "id": 12424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An inductive young thinker, named John,\nHad a thought that he acted upon:\n\"Quaffing beer after beer,\nThese should all disappear\nIf I drink 'til the last is all gone.\"", "id": 12426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That blue is the blue of your eye,\nOr the blue of a beautiful sky.\nWould a poet not treasure\nThose ripples that measure\nPoint-four-seven microns, and sigh?", "id": 12427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A boathouse is housing for boats,\nIts self-evident title denotes.\nAny raft or canoe\nHas a place in there, too,\nJust as long as the silly thing floats.", "id": 12428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This bondwoman's certainly fond\nOf that bondman and trusts he'll respond.\nAs the maid and her neighbor\nPerform unpaid labor,\nThey've formed an emotional bond.", "id": 12429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The maestro was cruelly sardonic,\nAnd mocked my ambition symphonic:\nHe refused his permission\nTo hold an audition,\n\"Kazoos?! Not in my philharmonic!\"", "id": 12431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Were it not for its fear of the light,\nThe old black-crested night heron might\nWade the marshes at will,\nLong of leg, neck, and bill,\nNasty-tempered, and picking a fight.", "id": 12432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Both my hamstrings are starting to seize.\nWrap my wrists 'round my toes with straight knees?\nTouch my thighs with my chest?\nHear my painful request:\n\"No more anelasticity, please!\"", "id": 12433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The support she would never deny a sis\nCounters Angie the Elephant's biases;\nSis's tumors extensive\nMake both apprehensive;\nIt's called angioelephantiasis.", "id": 12434, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An azygospore's route of formation\nHas proceeded without conjugation.\nLack of gamete's no bungle\nFor anamorphs (fungal),\nBut commonplace self-sporulation.", "id": 12435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I fear that my : is swollen,\nSo my surgeon's cajolin', extollin'\nA procedure to cut\nAway half of my gut,\nWhich would leave but a mere ;.", "id": 12436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Poor driver! He's feeling abashed\n'Bout the fenders he's dented and smashed.\nNow he dials 9-1-1;\nIt's so easily done\nWith the phone that he held when he crashed.", "id": 12437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bandage I bind to my arm\nFor avoiding additional harm\u2014\nFor providing protection,\nPreventing infection\u2014\nJust keeps my bacteria warm.", "id": 12438, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I considered the dish of the day\nAt a lackluster Baghdad cafe.\nOn the chef's bad advice,\nI was served \"Condi Rice\",\nWhich the chef made a hash of, they say.", "id": 12439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "The acclaimed supermodel had class,\nSo I acted aloof in my pass.\nSince her full bee-stung lips\nWere supplied from her hips,\nWell, I still wound up kissing her ass.", "id": 12440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This leader of Britain knew when\nTo be tough, like the toughest of men.\nAn opponent dispatcher,\nLady Margaret Thatcher\nWas nicknamed \"Attila the Hen.\"", "id": 12441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Iraqi who strolled down a path\nMet a kidnapper driven by wrath.\nSaid the latter, \"You're Sunni;\nI'm Shi'ite (and loony),\nSo I guess I'll be taking a Baath.\"", "id": 12442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a dyed-in-the-wool Congregationalist,\nI'm antitransubstantiationalist.\nBread and wine turns to Christ?\nNothing claimed has sufficed\nTo convince me it isn't sensationalist.", "id": 12443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I command your beliefs to come out;\nGive in to suspicion and doubt!\nThis religion won't do,\nI shall atheize you.\nDeny God, or He'll bring on a drought!", "id": 12444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Harold Arlen's not famous, although\nHe wrote music for many a show.\nHad a feel for the blues\nThat went down to his shoes\u2014\nHe's the Negro-est white man I know!", "id": 12445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The blood of the grape isn't juice,\nSo my church hasn't any excuse\nFor the \"wine\" they serve here.\nDeuteronomy's clear\n(Though perhaps the translation is loose).", "id": 12446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There's a beekeeper keeping his hive\nOn a route that I've needed to drive.\nDown that street, straight and tree-lined,\nI've rapidly beelined,\nAs fast as my car can contrive.", "id": 12447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "I told Ranger MacVern at the scene,\n\"'Twas the biggest darn thing ever seen!\nBig, sharp teeth and huge claws\nOn these great hairy paws\u2014\nIt was arctoid, you know what I mean?\"", "id": 12448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "There is one thing I learned in my classes:\nAn assary isn't for asses.\nIt's a coin that is old,\nMade of copper, not gold,\nWith which Romans like Cassius bought glasses.", "id": 12449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It is mental deficiency where\nThere's extreme inefficiency there.\nCalled anoia, it's when\nYou're the \"dimmest\" of men\nAnd your wiring's in need of repair.", "id": 12450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "\"I'm aligerous now\u2014I have wings,\"\nSaid Icarus brightly. \"It brings\nMe much pleasure to fly\nLike a bird in the sky,\nTo the Sun\u2014I'll escape earthly things!\"", "id": 12451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Old Noah had stowed in his ark\nAn animal built in the dark.\nAsked how long did it take\nThis weird creature to make,\nGott replied, \"Days und days of aardvark.\"", "id": 12452, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Antioxidants,\" Tetley enthused,\n\"Are the good stuff in food.\" I'm confused:\nFor without oxidation,\nLife's short in duration.\n\"Antiradical's better,\" I mused.", "id": 12453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Still running away from reality,\nOur hero seeks proof he is valid: he\nBooks the VIP room\nFor some high heels, perfume,\nAnd similar artificiality.", "id": 12454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He's been battered and shattered and staggered:\nNow we're staying and slaying the laggard.\nThough his fleet has retreated\u2014\nThey're neatly defeated\u2014\nThat bastard's a dastardly blackguard!", "id": 12456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To illuminate rooms was your goal,\nBut your purchase was poor, on the whole.\nOnce you kindled bituminous\nTo make your room luminous\nYour home choked with smoke from that coal.", "id": 12457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The baetyl enshrined in our shrine\nThat once fell from the sky as a sign\nNow lies under a cross,\nSlowly gathering moss,\nWhile we strive to divine the divine.", "id": 12458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A sponge who is learning to fence\nMay appear not ambitious, but dense.\nCould it properly lunge\nWithout limbs? Would a sponge\nGrasp a foil any way that makes sense?", "id": 12459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I am liking this Viking named Spike,\nWho looks striking, his head on a pike,\nFor the message he sends\nHis barbarian friends:\n\"Stay away. Here it ends. Take a hike!\"", "id": 12460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You were typing \"as far as I know,\"\nBut your fingers were moving too slow.\nIt's much shorter to say\nAs AFAIK.\nThere's no difference, as far as I know.", "id": 12461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A duck has much reason to fear ya,\nAnd with luck won't come anywhere near ya.\nBlue-green algae in bloom,\nYou spell avian doom:\nYou're the deadly cyanobacteria.", "id": 12462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Calm leviathans gracefully sweep,\nE'er exploring the floor of the deep.\nThey pursue things bathysmal\nIn dreadful and dismal\nCold canyons abysmal and steep.", "id": 12463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Boudoir is the name of a spot\nWhose mere mention gets men really hot.\nThat this term of such grace\nMeans in French: \"sulking-place\",\nI believe may explain quite a lot.", "id": 12464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Thomas Bowdler's the source of the name\nFor the action by which he gained fame.\nFrom each play he removed\nWords that weren't child-approved.\nBawdy Shakespeare just wasn't the same.", "id": 12465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Those bignonia vines can climb trees\nAnd your fence with the greatest of ease.\nIt's a plant some will groom\nFor the trumpet-shaped bloom,\nBut regret once they're caught in its squeeze.", "id": 12466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Your bewitchery casts a strong spell\nOf sheer magic on me since I fell.\nThe enchantment I feel\nIs sublime, but unreal.\nIf I'm lost, that's just fine. This is swell.", "id": 12467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "All through life it was deadlines Mike mocked,\nBut this time his huge ego was rocked.\nHis blank look, as he stared,\nMatched the page; he was scared.\nAs anxiety flared, he was blocked.", "id": 12468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "If attacks on your post should descend,\nFrom the blockhouse you'll surely defend.\nMany gun ports along\nWith its walls, thick and strong,\nMake a bastion on which you'll depend.", "id": 12469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "pundita", "limerick": "Two women: one white-haired, one dark,\nWould stroll arm-in-arm in the park.\nWhat no one surmised...\nThey were age-mates! Surprised?\nA dye job makes aging a lark!", "id": 12470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As dynamical systems will crawl\nFrom their past to their future, recall\nThat vis viva times time\nAdded up on the climb \u2014\nTotal action \u2014 will move not at all.", "id": 12471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "There's a fellow quite unrealistic\n(Airy-fairy in characteristic)\nWhose flight of some fancy\nMay crash down, perchance he\nProves typically over-artistic.", "id": 12472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Yo soy gaucho. Much cow have I wrangled\nWith a method humane but old-fangled.\nFling some rope, weights attached:\nTrusty bola. They're snatched\nFrom the herd with their legs nicely tangled.", "id": 12473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Want some strong, massive muscles? You need\nTo start lifting some barbells. Indeed,\nIf you want a physique\nLike a god who is Greek,\nRoutine workouts will help you succeed.", "id": 12474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When he speaks, his whole brain offers tours.\nWhen abutting his talents, we're boors.\nWhat we do, he does better.\nHis life is a letter\nThat's signed, \"Aptitudinally yours.\"", "id": 12475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Ammodramus, a genus of sparrows,\nFeatures several with tails sharp as arrows.\nFrom the fens where they skulk\nThey eat grass seeds in bulk\nAnd snatch bugs by the dawn and dusk scarrows.", "id": 12476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Though the animals marched to the ark\nBefore rainclouds could turn the sky dark,\nJust eight people would vote\nTo catch rides on that boat\nAnd these humans would archonts debark.", "id": 12477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Twice as high as the width of the way,\nLofty reeds line the boardwalk all\u00e9e;\nSplintered, silvery board\nHas this shoreline path floored\nBeside Sandy Point, Chesapeake Bay.", "id": 12478, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Though it's clear that his course needs correction,\nHer spouse hates to ask for direction.\nSo an atlas she checks\nAnd it's as she suspects:\nHe should have turned, last intersection.", "id": 12479, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Trey Van Riper", "limerick": "In Star Trek a crewman biracial,\nNamed Spock, lives a life outer-spacial.\nHis mother's from Earth,\nBut his father lacks mirth:\nThe face of a Vulcan is glacial.", "id": 12480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "She's a beauty, a woman quite fair.\nHer skin's porcelain, none can compare.\nOh, her eyes are so blue,\nRuby lips to kiss too,\nAnd auricomous\u2014blonde\u2014is her hair.", "id": 12481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "I now own an ox, Emia Jane,\nWho is blue, which I'll try to explain.\nWhile she's chewing her cud,\nHer arterial blood\nIs too oxygen poor, vets maintain.", "id": 12482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A silly goat sometimes called \"Billy\"\nWas filled with desire for a filly,\nBut she called him \"Wee Willie,\"\nA name he thought silly,\nAsserting the weather's just chilly!", "id": 12484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Who is rapping upon my front sill?\"\nAsked the maiden who lived by the mill.\n\"Prithee, open the door,\nI sincerely implore,\"\nQuoth the sailor named Barnacle Bill.", "id": 12485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In achieving results that you seek,\nIf your route of approach is oblique,\nThen your tactic to score\nIs considered backdoor.\nAnd yourself? You're a bit of a sneak!", "id": 12486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The allophones, as you should know,\nAre quite similar phonemes, and so,\nWhen you hear one ring-ring,\nYou just pick up the thing,\nAnd you speak in the hand-set: \"Allo?\"", "id": 12487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Sitting blithely in sun for a bit,\nShe got blistered and burned where she'd sit.\n\"Begone, blasted blister,\"\nInsisted my sister,\nBut blithering helped not a whit.", "id": 12488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Any boy could die ere fully grown.\nHurt in jumping, kids listlessly moan.\nNow our patient, quite rested,\nSeeks treatments untested.\nVery well, X-ray yesterday's zone.", "id": 12489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A villainous vole full of guile\nStole a vial of gold with a smile,\nWhich he hid in his hole\nOn the slopes of a knoll,\nIn the hopes they'd accept his denial.", "id": 12490, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There's no chance that the girl who'd begun\nSinging Wagner would die in Act One,\nSince if somebody'd killed her,\nThere'd be no Brynhildr\nTo tell when the opera was done.", "id": 12491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"You've broken your record,\" said Keating,\n\"For repeating your asinine bleating.\nGoing 'round and around,\nYou're beginning to sound\nLike a darned broken record, repeating.\"", "id": 12492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "By dint of the force of my blow,\nI've just skewered my helmeted foe.\nI've impaled him, I fear,\nWith my spear through his ear.\nShould we tell him? He might like to know.", "id": 12493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What befell that poor fellow, the skel?\nWhat bechanced him? He fell down a well.\nIf not rescued betimes,\nHe might pay for his crimes,\nAs he'll find what betides him in Hell.", "id": 12494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Violet, tinged a bit blue:\nAmethystine describes such a hue.\nWhen I've swum in the lake\nTill I shiver and shake,\nIt describes what my lips look like, too.", "id": 12495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "This activity's much to my liking,\nAnd it's easily better than hiking.\nI'm employing my feet\nYet enjoying a seat\nAs I glide down the street\u2014I am biking.", "id": 12496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Avoid if you can at first sight\nA bully who's itching to fight.\nSuch a bellicose goon\nWill explode very soon,\nJust hoping to prove might is right.", "id": 12497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "'Round the city of Rome walked a goat\n(So an ancient historian wrote),\nIts amburbial ramble\nA showy preamble\nTo sacrifice\u2014slitting its throat.", "id": 12498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"And per se\" spawned this ampassy word:\nIt's pass\u00e9, though in Cornwall still heard.\nAdd an \"and\" at the end,\nIt's an ampersand, friend,\nEither way, it means and\u2014how absurd!", "id": 12499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "I just did a data retrieval\nOn the insect that's called the boll weevil,\nWhich feasts upon cotton:\nThough called misbegotten,\nIt's instinct that drives him, not evil.", "id": 12500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "A computer receiving a boot;\nA candidate dressed in a suit;\nOr life, in its way:\nAbout each you can say\nWithout bios they'd stay sadly mute.", "id": 12501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A dumb, lazy bartender during\nHis shift wouldn't mix drinks, preferring\nThat bagpipes be played\n'Cause the sound that they made,\nSo he thought, was supposed to be stirring.", "id": 12502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "As the pilots near Panama jockey\nFor space in the harbor, they're cocky.\nBut soon they stop short\nWhen they enter the port\nSince the shore by Balboa is rocky.", "id": 12503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Kissed her lips, yes I did, it's the fashion;\nBut the face of the hostess turned ashen\nAnd her countenance gray\nFrom the saucy display\nWhen I slipped her the tongue. Too much passion!", "id": 12505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Such nonsense that bagpiper's spouting!\nAll rules of decorum he's flouting.\nThis bletherskate's ranting\nIs less than enchanting\u2014\nSo Maggie is dauntonly shouting.", "id": 12507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A sponge that pursues segmentation\nIs an embryologic sensation.\n\"Blastulation!\" we yell\nWhen a spherical shell\nMarks a spongiform cell-wall creation.", "id": 12508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A carter was greasing his wheel\nWhen his wife, who was fixing a meal,\nSaid \"You're covered in bleck\nFrom your hands to your neck!\nDid I marry a man, or an eel?\"", "id": 12509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The notorious spy known as Philby\nProceeded to Queensland, a trilby\nOn top of his bean.\nHe was recently seen\nWith a bandicoot-rabbit, or bilby.", "id": 12510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Egypt, a doctor confirms\nThat a genus of trematode worms\nHas beset your urethra.\nBilharzia's beneath ya?\nToo bad\u2014you had best come to terms.", "id": 12511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Haarlem I spied, with a grin,\nA Beguine on the road with her twin.\nI discovered their vows\nAllowed marriage, arous-\ning an amorous feeling within.", "id": 12512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The seaman asked, \"Why, Captain Bligh,\nAre your spindle-shaped buttons awry?\"\n\"My fanatical flogging\nDeranged my befrogging,\"\nSaid Bligh, with a spiritless sigh.", "id": 12513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My sister, Mariah O'Grady,\nLikes drinking a dram with her shady\nCompanions, who pay\nHer to brighten their day\u2014\nA prostibulous bibulous lady.", "id": 12514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My aggry's a bead made of glass\nBy Egyptians of old; in its class\nIs the adder stone.  Chum,\nTo preserve yourself from\nAggri-vation, just give it a pass.", "id": 12515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Where flora and fauna are rife,\nTheir survival relies upon strife.\nIn a barren biota\nThere's not an iota\nOf struggle: it's lacking in life.", "id": 12516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When kissing, most lovers attest\nThat bilabiate partners are best.\nThough a single lip might\nIn a pinch be all right,\nHaving two provides double the zest.", "id": 12517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"See the tiger inside!\" said the blind\nOn the store, though behind it you'd find\nNeither bengal nor cat,\nJust a liquor-filled vat\u2014\nAnd the patrons who paid didn't mind.", "id": 12518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Until spring sends the thaw that beseeches\nThe silvery branches of beeches\nTo drop coppery leaves,\nThey're marcescent:  each cleaves\nTo make windbreaks amid leafy breaches.", "id": 12519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An American letter to \"Fred\nIn New Bedford\" is deemed to be dead.\nBut in Britain, you'll find\nThat a letter is blind\nIf improperly posted, instead.", "id": 12520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "They invaded our crabapple tree\nIn the snowstorm; they gobble with glee.\nLike huge Drosophyllidae,\nThese birds, Bombycillidae,\nErupt earfuls of waxwing esprit.", "id": 12521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In blind blocking, blocks made of brass\nOr of zinco are used.  They surpass\nFlimsy paperback covers,\nBut bookbinding lovers\nWant gold to adorn Leaves of Grass.", "id": 12522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With his bagpipes at ease on his knees,\nOld McClure, in a flourish, will squeeze\nBoth his bladders. He sighs\nWith relief in his thighs\nAs he pees while he plays his reprise.", "id": 12523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "While spraying my uncle's canoe,\nOn the faucet I scribbled a few\nLoop-de-loops where it bent\nIn an angled descent.\nOn the bibcock a doodle I drew.", "id": 12524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Portland, near Weymouth, the bill\nIs a beaklike projection; a chill\nAnd an ominous wind\nGives some sailors, chagrined,\nWho approach it too quickly a thrill.", "id": 12526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Fermanagh, where feldspar is found,\nThere's a porcelain pattern renowned\nFor a luster that's sleek,\nAnd its name is Belleek.\n(That's the town that the feldspar's around.)", "id": 12527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bout she envisioned was whirling\nAbout, with her petticoats swirling,\nAnd dancing till morn\u2014\nSo her husband was torn,\nSince the bout he envisioned was curling.", "id": 12529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The millworker bolts by the hour:\nHe sifts all the bran from the flour.\nAfter working all night,\nHe is powdery-white\nAnd in desperate need of a shower.", "id": 12530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A falconer savors the day\nWhen his falcon goes bolting away:\nWith talons untethered,\nIt flies, brightly feathered,\nDirect from his fist to its prey.", "id": 12531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A sea captain certainly should\nPut some bolsters of canvas or wood\nNear the rigging, allaying\nAll chafing and fraying\nFrom masts. Understand? Understood.", "id": 12532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I doubt that the typical man knows\nWhat the musical-instrument fan knows:\nWhen fingers are pushin',\nA bolster's the cushion\nThat deadens the sound in pianos.", "id": 12533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though the posts at the end of the quay there\nAppear to be just in the way there,\nThose bollards secure\nAll the ropes, and insure\nThat the boats in the harbor will stay there.", "id": 12534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Got a pocket knife? Let me relate\nWhere your knife has a silvery plate:\nOn each end\u2014these are bolsters.\nLike guns in their holsters,\nThey keep your blade safe while you wait.", "id": 12535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My novel's exceedingly thin\u2014it\nWas harder than hell to begin it.\nI wrote for a while,\nBut my writing was vile.\nIn the circular file I will bin it.", "id": 12536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The porter is carrying herring\nAt Billingsgate market, preparing\nTo supplicate me\nFor a bobbin\u2014his fee.\nOver bearing, his tone's overbearing.", "id": 12537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My blood sugar's high elevation\nReflected a bad situation.\nMy urine was sweet\nSince my pancreas, beat,\nHad decided to take a vacation.", "id": 12538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "After decades spent sucking his thumb,\nIt's all shredded and pink, which is rum.\nAnaesthetics let Floyd\nDo his best to avoid\nAny pain\u2014now he's comfortably numb.", "id": 12539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"It pays to be nimble and quick,\"\nThought Jack, as the constable, Nick,\nCaught William, who's slow.\nNick proceeded to go\nAnd benim Bill to jail in a rick.", "id": 12540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In athanasy, spirits can't die,\nBut there's nothing to say they can't lie;\nSo I never give credence\nTo news from decedents\nRegarding the sweet by-and-by.", "id": 12541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "A Brazilian is up to his knees\nIn the Amazon. Look what he sees.\nOh my God! He should know a\nHuge snake called a boa\nConstrictor, his current main squeeze.", "id": 12544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The BC/B.C. bc, bc from\nB.C., had as judge bc B.C.  Some,\nLike B-C, cried \"Bc!\nThat bc lacks bc.\nBc!  This ain't no bc bc, chum!\"", "id": 12545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Said the ad: \"BBW.\" Great!\nA \"big, beautiful woman\" to date.\nI'm not doubting her gender\nOr the fact she's not slender,\nBut that middle word's up for debate.", "id": 12546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bob's-a-dying resounds down the hall\nFrom our landlord's apartment. We'd call\nTo complain of his ruckus,\nExcept he would chuck us,\nInflicting eviction\u2014the gall!", "id": 12547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though no Englishmen ever mistreat me,\nAnglophobia sure can deplete me.\nI fear that R.E.\nPlans to pounce upon me\nWith his C.O.E.D. and then beat me!", "id": 12548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Her cramping is cramping her style\nAnd her migraine is vicious and vile.\nHer symptoms are myriad\u2014\nShe's having her . \n. to all sex for a while.", "id": 12549, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Buy a barothermohygrograph, you\nGet an instrument shiny and new,\nTo record on a chart\nThe pressure, in part,\nPlus the temp and humidity too.", "id": 12550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The boy down the hallway named Dexter\nIs a spiteful, nefarious texter\nWho darkens my path\nWith his cellular wrath.\nHe would once have been known as a blexter.", "id": 12551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "I jumped from the plane and fell free\nOn my first-ever sky-diving spree.\nI made hardly a sound\nAs I fell toward the ground,\nBut to utter profoundly, \"Oh, g.\"", "id": 12552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Acridotheres, once sun has risen,\nPerch on wires near the Everglades prison.\nAnd their favorite gimmick:\nThey perfectly mimic\nPolice till their myna throats gizzen.", "id": 12553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I sailed off to Java to see\nCould I find me a bangsring or three.\nNow may I allude\nTo the need to be shrewd\nShould you hunt for this mouse up a tree.", "id": 12554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A randy old sloth up a tree\nMet an ai from Shanghai, and when he\nGot a look at her heinie\u2014\nHe whispered, \"Wo ai ni!\"\nAnd two three-toed sloths became three.", "id": 12555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the salt in the shaker's not shaking,\nIt's because of ionic bond braking.\nMerely add some white rice,\nShake to mix, flow is nice.\nBreaking clumps makes white rice anti-caking.", "id": 12556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The ewe, when she's through with her eating,\nWill issue her usual greeting.\nThe sound she's imparting\nIn Warwick's called blarting,\nA dialect version of bleating.", "id": 12557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "This traditional substance I choose\nFor the stitching of birchbark canoes:\nThough mosquitoes and rain\nPlague the bogs up in Maine,\nI pull roots of black spruces to use.", "id": 12558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "arnie", "limerick": "The stupid blonde bimbos of Gor\nLove treatment that they should abhor.\nThey're all silly girls\nDressed only in pearls;\nToo bad that it's all such a bore.", "id": 12559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "White blooms replace snow on the hill,\nEight-petaled, one leaf for each frill.\nFrom their bloodroots they tap\nSanguinaria sap\nTill each phloem flows red to its fill.", "id": 12560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In my husband I've noticed a range\nOf disquieting symptoms of change\nIn the way that he sleeps;\nOnce he snored, now he beeps!\nThough I'll keep him, my bedfellow's strange.", "id": 12561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The chinook took a look, as it swam;\n\"I'm a schnook! It's the Bonneville Dam!\nAll its monstrous concrete\nWill mean certain defeat!\nI'm a sorrowful salmon, I am!\"", "id": 12562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "O, One!  Upon thee I've bestowed,\nAs my Macintosh hastens to load,\n(And as well upon Zero,\nMy alternate hero)\nAn ode to your binary code.", "id": 12563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Pembrokeshire, priests on vacation\nHave chosen a bleak destination.\nWhen their party embarks\nTo the Bishops and Clerks,\nThey'll be swelling with self-admiration.", "id": 12564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Miami's delightful in May!\nNear the pier all the manatees play\nIn the bay called Biscayne,\nAnd the boys don't complain\nWhen the girls in bikinis sashay.", "id": 12565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "My wife's biological clock\nIs ringing to wake Dr. Spock!\nSo, now that we've lunched,\nTime to get my card punched,\nAnd start work at producing a flock.", "id": 12566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Your bladder is full\u2014what to do?\nTwist your hips 'til your torso turns blue?\nFlit about like a starling?\nSincerely, my darling,\nIt's better to skip to the loo.", "id": 12567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Some rain and some dirt create mud\nAnd a torrent produces a flood,\nBut I never have known\nTo have turned up a stone\nOr a turnip that generates blood.", "id": 12568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I asked my physician for pills\nFor my coughing and sneezing and chills.\nBut he ordered instead, \"Rest\nYour head on this headrest\u2014\nSome bed rest will cure all your ills.\"", "id": 12569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When into the wind you must hack\nAs it comes from your front, not your back,\nBoard and board is the way\nTo make progress this day:\nTightly tack, tightly tack, tightly tack.", "id": 12570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Courageous infinitive-splitters,\nThe trekkers sought alien critters.\n\"To boldly...\" Good gracious!\nThe galaxy's spacious,\nBut grammar like theirs gives me jitters.", "id": 12571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The thrasonical Bobadil's binges\nOf bragging contribute to cringes.\nBen Jonson created\nThis type, who is fated\nTo thrive on society's fringes.", "id": 12572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Steroid hormones aren't just for a dope hick,\nThey're produced by your glands to jump rope quick.\n And when something affects\n Your adrenal cortex\nThen it's adrenocorticotropic.", "id": 12573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When my boss has insulted my mom,\nAnd I need to respond with aplomb,\nI disdain to use nasty-isms,\nFavoring asteisms:\nPolite ways of dropping a bomb.", "id": 12574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Aardwolves are wolves of the earth.\nIn their underground dens they give birth,\nSharing care for their young,\nSlurping termites by tongue\u2014\nLike hyenas, without extra mirth.", "id": 12575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Balneology, sir, is the study\nOf bathing and baths, not some bloody\nLittle lab in a loo\nWith a window where you\nLook at chicks in a tub, with your buddy.", "id": 12576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Doc, we've noticed a yellowish thing\nOn her corneal margins\u2014a ring.\nBut do not tell Aunt Phyllis\nIt's arcus senilis;\nYou'll leave with your ass in a sling.", "id": 12577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "That vet said my goat had dyspepsia,\nAnd my fruit bat a form of ablepsia.\nBut then, Fido, I find\nThey're not nauseous or blind;\nSo I can't let that dunderhead schlepp see ya.", "id": 12578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Zarathustra could not represent A-\nhura Mazda directly; he lent a\nMore personified sense\nTo each attribute, hence\nHe would call it an Amesha Spenta.", "id": 12579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When I married Maria, she knew\nI was already married to you.\nYes, it's bigamy, Dear,\nBut I want to be clear:\nI believe that it's big of her, too.", "id": 12580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "It's bituminous coal we'll combust;\nThat's my energy policy's thrust.\nSoft coal's the solution!\nDon't mind the pollution\u2014\nYou'll sulfur in silence, I trust.", "id": 12581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A sonata like this is a test\nOf the talent with which one is blessed.\nYour \"performance\" (in quotes),\nWhich missed half of the notes,\nWas approximatura at best.", "id": 12582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The bindlestiff's ultimate goal:\nTotal freedom from outside control.\nThe hobo would pack\nAll he owned in a sack\n(Called a bindle) he'd tote on a pole.", "id": 12583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "She's enthroned on a fancy berg\u00e8re;\nThat's a fine 18th-century chair.\nIts enclosure's complete\nFrom the arms to the seat\nSo we can't see her large derri\u00e8re.", "id": 12584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I have deep and abiding devotion\nFor what lives on the floor of the ocean.\nThere's nothing profounder\nThan coral and flounder:\nThe benthos is God's greatest notion.", "id": 12585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "\"You've got schistosomiasis, son,\"\nSaid the doctor. \"Your liver is done.\nThis bilharzial bug\nMeans you'll nevermore chug\nAny liquor. No liver, no fun.\"", "id": 12586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An acquittal implies we acquit,\nThough another noun once was legit.\nI doubt OJ'd have walked\nIf Cochran had squawked,\n\"Vote acquitment: the glove doesn't fit!\"", "id": 12587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The bidarka is sinking, no doubt;\nFrom the seam of the sealskin, a spout\nOf cold water sprays in.\n\"Just a squirt gun,\" I grin.\nI am faking the Inuit out.", "id": 12588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As a poet, I must needs berhyme\nSomething beautiful\u2014something sublime.\nIn bright verse I'll discern\nWhat a Grecian might earn:\nWhat he's owed for his labor and time.", "id": 12589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A blasphemous drunkard named Sweeney\nBuilt a shrine to the vodka martini,\nPreaching ultimate truth\nMade of one part vermouth,\nFour parts vodka, and one string bikini.", "id": 12590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "With a block system, railroads take pains\nTo prevent the collision of trains:\nJust one train to a block,\nNight and day, taking stock\nAutomatically (not with their brains).", "id": 12591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Alectoromachy, one might suspect,\nIs a sport to which women object.\nThought I'm cocky (a bit),\nI'm no cockfighting twit\u2014\nJust politically [henpecked!] correct.", "id": 12593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The congenital absence of legs\nIs a tragic condition that begs\nFor respectful review:\nWith acnemia, you\nShouldn't nickname the sufferer \"Pegs.\"", "id": 12594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Let me tell you a story of me\n(Autobiographically).\nIf I tell one of you\nAnd my words are untrue,\nIt's a slander, unless you agree.", "id": 12595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "They insist that I caught bilharziasis\n(In other words, schistosomiasis)\nFrom a Parisite. I\nDisagree, and decry\nTheir outrageously anti-French biases.", "id": 12596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "An arcanist knows lore on ceramics,\nWhereas I know how sauces and Spam mix.\nI'll carve you a morsel an'\nServe it on porcelain,\nTopped with a garlic-and-jam mix.", "id": 12597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Mrs. Bloomer set out to advance\nWomen's rights in her feminist pants.\nAlthough some disapproved,\nThey could see, when she moved,\nAn aggressive yet feminine stance.", "id": 12598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Titus Flavius Drusus O'Toole\nThought a fifth name would really be cool,\nBut he had an agnomen\n(The fourth), and no Roman\nHad more, as a general rule.", "id": 12599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If you're bent on succeeding at beggary,\nYou've got to be Greg and not Gregory.\nYour cup should be tin;\nYour cologne should be gin;\nAnd lose weight\u2014you look too Schwarzeneggery.", "id": 12600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Sitting next to the bar on a stool,\nBearded Iris makes passers-by drool.\nShe entices me in\nWith those hairs on her chin;\nShe is barbate, and I am her fool.", "id": 12601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "The milk had gone bad; it was sour.\nHe was in a bad mood; he was dour.\nHe has a bad debt,\nAnd it's making him sweat.\nNow his odour is bad; take a shower!", "id": 12602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The chef-cum-outdoorsman's new niche:\nWeaving showshoes from lengths of babiche.\nThose are thongs he has cut\nOut of rawhide or gut.\nWith what's left, he makes sinewy quiche.", "id": 12603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The cook in my Army battalion\nCan feed 800 men on a scallion.\nHey sailor! This scow\nThat we're on\u2014tell us how\nMany miles does it get to the galleon?", "id": 12604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the Puritans split, they forsook\nMost nonbiblical gobbledygook.\nIn New England they wrote\nThe Bay Psalm Book. We note\nIt's America's very first book.", "id": 12605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In her hospital bed, Marg'ret Tracy\nHad a leg wound\u2014it made her feel spacy\u2014\nWhere they found bacitracin,\nWhose peptides can hasten\nInfection improvement, in pr\u00e9cis.", "id": 12606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's not Alzheimer's. Just be at ease \u2014\nIt's okay when you can't find your keys.\nBut if you're confused\nAbout how keys are used,\nConsider a checkup soon, please.", "id": 12607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "One endeavors to be diplomatic;\nAn inebriate, though, when astatic\n(Unsteady; unable\nTo balance; unstable),\nIncites one's internal fanatic.", "id": 12608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The limerick's adaptedness, you're\nNow calling in question, I'm sure.\nCan it give a rendition\nOf each definition?\nStick around and you'll see its allure.", "id": 12609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "OK!  I confess!  I'm a moron:\nI can't say a word about boron.\nThe facts of its ion\nAre matters I'm shy on\nAnd items I don't have much lore on.", "id": 12610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "You're a spinner of yarns who regales\nYour daughter with all your travails.\nYou're a boomerang bender!\nWatch out, or you'll send 'er\nAway with your tallest of tales.", "id": 12611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "On Borneo, mountains rise high,\nAnd the climate is humid, not dry.\nThis island in Asia\nIs shared by Malaysia,\nIndonesia, and also Brunei.", "id": 12612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A ball with three holes I am rolling\nDown a lane, and I'm deftly controlling\nThe amount that it spins\nSo it knocks down ten pins.\nThat, in brief, is the object of bowling.", "id": 12613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If we give you a lot, we allot\nAn allotment that's part of the pot\nOf what we all share.\nWe try hard to be fair,\nAnd we hope that you don't think it's squat.", "id": 12614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At the end of the bar \u2014 it was her.\nDressed to kill.  Low cut dress, trimmed with fur.\nAs I moved to sit down,\nI got punched by some clown.\nAfter that it's all naught but a blur.", "id": 12615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A bai is a yellowish dust\nMoving east in a mist on a gust.\nOut of China it blows\nTo Japan. I suppose\nThey're displeased there, but mostly adjust.", "id": 12616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le and Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I've a taste for the purely aesthetical.\nWith varied procedures cosmetical,\nI've become better looking\u2014\nNo reading, no cooking.\nFor him, my appeal?  Silhouettical!", "id": 12617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A winner once said to a loser,\n\"You too can succeed, if you choose, Sir.\nDo your best to apply\nAll your talents.  Just try,\nAnd, of course, stay away from the booze, Sir.\"", "id": 12618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"You're found guilty!\" Thus read the report.\nThe defendant was not a good sport.\nThe sum that was sought,\n(The amercement he fought)\nWas the fine that was set by the court.", "id": 12619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An autogamous plant reproduces\nBy putting its cells to good uses;\nBoth species of germ\nCell, the ova and sperm\nAre its own, so it has no excuses.", "id": 12620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Certain molecules, rigid or flaccid,\nCan be turned into something more placid.\nAmylolysis: march\nTo a sugar from starch,\nWith the help of an enzyme or acid.", "id": 12621, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With limerick writing I'm smitten;\nHope my lines are acceptably written.\nEvery time one's approved\nI feel honored, and moved,\nAnd so happy I purr like a kitten.", "id": 12622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I once saw a sign in a store,\n\"Antiforeign,\" it said, and what's more\n\"Made in U.S. of A.;\nIci on parle francais.\"\nAt the last bit I let out a roar.", "id": 12623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My car has an Archibald wheel,\nStrong and flexible, hub made of steel,\nBut the other three are\nLess resilient by far,\n'Cause my wife can't resist a good deal.", "id": 12624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our chemistry lab can be fun,\nWith experiments simple to run,\nBut for chemical might\nThat makes day out of night,\nArchchemic's reserved for the sun.", "id": 12625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the king to his courtiers is host,\nFor a wedding, a banquet, or roast,\nThe official who cares\nFor all household affairs\nIs archchamberlain; that is his post.", "id": 12626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my building, the rent isn't cheap,\nSo I trust that my neighbors will keep\nTheir CD players low\nSo their music won't grow\nTo that din one might call antisleep.", "id": 12627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antibias, a lofty ideal,\nCan be hard to apply in the real\nWorld of hiring an actor,\nWhere looks are a factor\nWe'd hardly expect to conceal.", "id": 12628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacillar means shaped like a rod,\nTo describe a bacterium's bod.\nIt's not used for a wand,\nOr a reed in a pond.\nDon't you find that a little bit odd?", "id": 12629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend would never disparage\nTradition when proffering marriage,\nBut it seemed rather louche\nThat he came by barouche\n(That's a horse-drawn antique four-wheeled carriage).", "id": 12630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacteriuria (germs in your pee)\nMeans your kidneys or bladder may be\nAttacked by a germ\n(Not a virus or worm).\nTake some medicine ASAP.", "id": 12631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you ball up a paper and throw it\nYou're littering; surely you know it.\nIf you ball up a mission\nYou're in the position\nOf bungling the job, and you blow it.", "id": 12632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A barrator's someone litigious,\nStarting lawsuits in numbers prodigious,\nOr it's one with bad vibes\nWho buys titles with bribes\nTo win status among the religious.", "id": 12633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her basketry's terribly nice,\nAnd commands an exceptional price.\nBut try as she might\nTo make wickerwork tight,\nIt is often invaded by mice.", "id": 12634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Although microbes are tiny in size,\nTheir effects can amaze and surprise.\nThey produce many ranges\nOf chemical changes.\nYou'll bacterize if you are wise.", "id": 12635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The alarming expansion in size\nOf my upper arms, torso, and thighs\nIs due to those cakes,\nCheesy pizzas, and shakes\u2014\nA fact which I freely agnize.", "id": 12636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Shakespearean plays show defiance\nOf \"wisdom received,\" a reliance\nOn insight, refined,\nInto humankind's mind;\nHe predated behavioral science.", "id": 12637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The bag-boy assists the cashier\nAt the check-out to bag up your Cheer,\nFrozen corn, new potatoes,\nTP, stewed tomatoes\u2014\nAnd Wonder Bread under the beer.", "id": 12638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One will find that wherever one looks,\nBibliopegists seldom are crooks.\nThey work hard every day\nAt their craft so they may\nMake a living by binding our books.", "id": 12639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bark beetle bores under bark,\nOn a tree, so it lives in the dark.\nIt can damage the tree;\nWhen it's stripped you can see\nThe \"engraving,\" its signature mark.", "id": 12640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The pilot was white as a sheet,\nThen turned suddenly red as a beet.\nIn a voice hoarse with strain,\nHe announced to the plane,\n\"Take your life vests from under the seat.\"", "id": 12641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She couldn't climb up to the attic,\nBut Grandmother now is ecstatic.\nHer doctor prescribed\nMedication that jibed,\nWhen he gave her an antirheumatic.", "id": 12642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Automatism \u2014 genre of function\nPerformed by the brain in conjunction\nWith muscles, no doubt,\nBut completely without\nAny consciousness, will or compunction.", "id": 12643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Avascular tissue's the kind\nWithout blood (with the word underlined),\nLike the lens in the eye\nOr the cornea: try\nTo incise them \u2014 no bleeding you'll find.", "id": 12644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Joe acts animally; that's when I\nFeel ambivalent, loving that guy;\nBut I feel so embarrassed,\nSo ill-used and harassed,\nI think I'll just bid him goodbye.", "id": 12645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An amasser collects lots of stuff\nAnd to change his behavior is tough\nWhen many a trunk\nIs filled up with his junk\nAnd no quantity's ever enough.", "id": 12646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In this season of sunshine and showers\nMy garden grew large yellow flowers.\nAmsinckia is\nWhat they're called, and gee whiz!\nI can sit and admire them for hours.", "id": 12647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Met's auditorium does\nSeem atwitter, aglitter, abuzz,\nTill he enters, stage right\nAnd sings all through the night.\nI conjecture Bryn Terfel it was.", "id": 12648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An arhat will never be frightened,\nThough his senses are probably heightened.\nThis stage is the chief\nGoal of Buddhist belief:\nAn arhat is one who's enlightened.", "id": 12649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When Oedipus' offspring were sore,\nAmphiaraus commanded one corps,\nSo that Thebes' royal throne\nPolynices would own,\nBut the sons killed each other: tie score!", "id": 12650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You're a fish; your milieu is aquatic?\nSay your sleep is disturbed and chaotic?\nDon't put up with the tsuris;\nGo see Acanthurus,\nThe doctorfish, for a hypnotic.", "id": 12651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The clothing that's sold at bazaars\nMay be old and so retro, it jars.\nIf they're really bizarre\nAll these outfits go far\nIn the wardrobes of rock-and-roll stars.", "id": 12652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My exam earned an A for its neatness,\nA-plus for its utter completeness.\nBut it got just a C\nFor its content; for me\nAn example of school's bittersweetness.", "id": 12653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She walks with her nose in the air,\nFeels superior\u2014ego to spare.\nOn occasion her snobbery\nLeads to a bobbery.\nReally? She just doesn't care!", "id": 12654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The farmer went out to carouse\nIn the barn, with the sows and the cows.\nHe passed out in a coma\nMid their pungent aroma.\nTo lift him, we needed to bouse.", "id": 12655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Did you know wine is sold in a box?\nIn a bag made of plastic that locks\nOut the air that can harm\u2014\nMake the wine lose its charm.\nGive me box wines the connoisseur mocks!", "id": 12656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Barbie doll, thin as a rake,\nDoesn't look like she ever eats cake.\nA connection, subliminal,\nTo the Nazi war criminal\nKlaus Barbie would be a mistake.", "id": 12657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Although bowfins pretend to be stud-fish,\nThey're often called dogfish or mudfish.\nAmioidei are\nUndistinguished, by far\u2014\nNext to trout, they are certainly dud-fish.", "id": 12658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bananas go bad in a rush\nIn the fridge; in one day they are slush.\nIf they're left on the sink\nFor a fortnight, I think,\nThey will also be morphed into mush.", "id": 12659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acclimating fever may hit\nIf you work in the tropics, and it\nIs exceedingly hot.\nIf your head hurts a lot,\nAnd your temperature rises, just quit!", "id": 12660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anthophyllite: God made it to test us.\nI don't know if it cursed us or blessed us.\nCan you give me the answer?\nIn lungs it breeds cancer\nBut it fireproofs (it's an asbestos).", "id": 12661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An armored car stood by the door.\nI had dated this bozo before,\nAnd we'd travelled by bus\nOr by cab.  Why the fuss?\nIs he planning to hold up a store?", "id": 12662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Are you ready?  Then start your ignition\nFor the autocross car competition.\nWe'll test drivers' skills,\nBut we don't expect spills\nLike the derby that courts demolition.", "id": 12663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From the customers: \"Boycott the store,\nSince the produce is moldy; what's more,\nAll the staff are big jerks!\"\nFrom the owners and clerks:\n\"We are all antiboycott,\" they swore.", "id": 12664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Consider the Turkish bashaw.\nHis title has many a flaw.\nIt's a word not much heard\nBecause pasha's preferred,\nAnd his ranking's, now, not worth a straw.", "id": 12665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is no easy task to afford\nYears of study and sacrifice toward\nAttaining enlightenment,\nA mystical heightenment,\nBut arhatship \u2014 that's the reward.", "id": 12666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "With a wailing that left our ears ringing\nAnd brought tears to our eyes, hot and stinging,\nThis howling creation\nWas no lamentation \u2014\nJoan Baez, to our horror, was singing.", "id": 12667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you want your dyed fabrics to last,\nAnd your luck has been bad in the past,\nSo that acid won't fade\nEvery color and shade,\nJust be sure that your dye's acid fast.", "id": 12668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bought a plant from Jose Hinojosa\u2014\nWhen I saw it, I shouted, \u00bfQu\u00e9 cosa?\nHe claimed it to be\nAn albizia;  gee,\nI was sure that the plant was mimosa.", "id": 12669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my work as an expert mammographer\nI've more passion than any pornographer,\nBut my writing's no good;\nDo you think that I should\nGo and hire me an autobiographer?", "id": 12670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A cello you play with a bow.\nA piano? Press down the keys \u2014 so.\nA drum must be struck,\nAnd a harp you can pluck,\nBut a flute or a horn you must blow.", "id": 12671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Romanesque? To such churches I nod.\nThough their scale may be massive, it's odd\nThat their style is immortal;\nCurved archwise, each portal\nInvites us to celebrate God.", "id": 12672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said a joiner in London named Andy\n(With all kinds of tools he was handy),\n\"All the works of Kit Marlowe\nCan't equal my barlow,\nA jacknife as cheap as it's dandy.\"", "id": 12673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When Popeye was feeling a lack, he\nInspected each pocket and pack. He\nExclaimed, \"It's no joke,\nI'm in need of a smoke,\nBut Bluto has stolen me baccy!\"", "id": 12674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Black spot has appeared on the leaves\nOf the bushes that grow neath the eaves.\nI can't cope with this mess\u2014\nMy reaction to stress?\nI just call my valet, \"Hoy there, Jeeves!\"", "id": 12675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Miss Bo Peep was a shepherdess who\nLost her flock\u2014what a dumb thing to do!\nBut to each, I would guess,\nShe'd attached GPS,\nAs they all made it home before two.", "id": 12676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "With a lim'rick, arrhythmic won't do\nSince the metrical feet must be true.\nIt must flow with no fault\nBecause who would exalt\nOne like this where the writer just doesn't seem to have a clue?", "id": 12677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Art for art's sake,\" he loudly proclaimed,\n\"And I'm sure 'best in show' I'll be named!\"\nI examined his strokes,\nAnd said, \"This is a hoax!\"\nHe replied, \"It's not mine\u2014I've been framed!\"", "id": 12678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On a bicycle tour across Britain\nI met Kit and was instantly smitten,\nAstonished, agape \u2014\nHer amentiform shape,\nLike a catkin (Old Dutch for a kitten).", "id": 12679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "So you've taken up milking? Oh, wow!\nHere's a tip as you're studying how:\nTake particular care\nOf the afterings\u2014they're\nThose few squirts that come last from the cow.", "id": 12680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Auntie Lil has created a stir\u2014\nNo, she hasn't seduced the chauffeur\u2014\nShe'd worn mink with restraint,\nBut she now throws red paint.\nAntifur? What's the matter with her?", "id": 12681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though bacteroid (noun) is a term\nFor an oddly shaped kind of a germ\nThat is found on a root,\nOne of equal repute,\nFound in sewage and guts, makes me squirm.", "id": 12682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For repair of my woofer I've paid,\nBut it's now much too loud, I'm afraid.\nThough he'd fix and install it,\nJoe won't take my call\u2014it\nDisplays a gross baseness, high grade!", "id": 12683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bever's a snack and, by gosh,\nIt is hardly a meal that is posh.\nAs a verb, the word bever\nMeans \"snack\" (ain't that clever?).\nThe word means \"a nosh\" or \"to nosh.\"", "id": 12684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Big brotherism!\"\u2014so screams the press\nWhen the governor, in an address,\nSays the State ought to know\nWhen we come, where we go;\n\"I just want to fight crime!\" he'll profess.", "id": 12685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "'Cross the creek and just over that hill\nNeighbors fertilize, crop-dust, and till.\nBut I'm Green\u2014there's a schism.\nBioregionalism\nWill veto their subsidy bill.", "id": 12686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "I was reading a book by Tom Clancy\n'Bout a submarine, Russian and fancy.\nRed October, a boomer,\nBore missiles. They'd doom her.\nThat scheme of Jack Ryan's was chancy.", "id": 12687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "A brown mare trotted up and said, \"You\nAre a blacksmith. Can you fix my shoe?\"\nI had nothing to ask,\nSo I bent to the task.\nAll was well till she thanked me with \"Moo.\"", "id": 12688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "If your respiratory system is humming,\nMaking whispers, fine crackling or drumming,\nThen it's nothing benign:\nYou have Abrahams' sign.\n(Read: a case of TB is forthcoming.)", "id": 12689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For some writers, those drippy displays\nOf emotion draw readers' bouquets.\nFinding pathos too weak,\nThey use bathos and seek\nThen to bathe us in cloying clich\u00e9s.", "id": 12690, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though I covet a lady's affection,\nMy build isn't up to inspection.\nThus I'll work on my abs,\n'Cause this god-awful flab's\nSo disgusting I'm deep in abjection.", "id": 12691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "If you think life on Earth is a bore,\nCome to Bob's Antigravity Store!\nWe have rockets and boots\nAnd miraculous suits\nThat can lift you right off of the floor!", "id": 12692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "For a driver to make a decision,\nTo avoid an impending collision\nWith an oncoming bus,\nDepth perception's a plus.\nThank the Lord for binocular vision!", "id": 12693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "To all fetuses: Please be aware\nThat gestation can be a real scare.\nSo a sac's been provided\nWith fluid inside it:\nA bag full of waters, your lair.", "id": 12694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The city of Acoma stands\nAs America's oldest and spans\nAlmost nine hundred years\nWith inhabitants. Here's\nTo New Mexico's pueblos and lands!", "id": 12695, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's wicked to mock the afflicted\u2014\nThe lame, the unwell, the addicted.\nWhen you stand at the gates,\nHoping heaven awaits,\nYou'll be tried by St. Pete and convicted.", "id": 12696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A gazelle is alone at the zoo,\nAnd he paces his pen feeling blue.\nHe doesn't know when\nHe'll be mating again,\nSo he waits to go wooing a gnu.", "id": 12697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and John Weigel", "limerick": "When I said I'm addicted to Coke,\n'Twas of Diet, not powder, I spoke.\nI'm an aspartame fan\u2014\nDowning bottle and can,\nTen a day\u2014and it's making me broke.", "id": 12698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From the narrow and straight I've meandered.\nMy behavior departs from the standard.\nIt's apparent that I\nAm aberrant\u2014that's why\nTo a bear and a panda I've pandered.", "id": 12699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "There's the wassail, the goldfish, the punch,\nAnd the soup and the finger at lunch.\nYou may notice my goal's\nA whole series of bowls.\n(Oh yeah, cereal bowl\u2014Cap'n Crunch.)", "id": 12700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Geometrical figures are spaces\nSurrounded by sides known as faces.\nIf the figures can rest\nOn these sides, that's the test:\nThen the faces are serving as bases.", "id": 12701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Two sirloins, still joined at the bone\n(That's the backbone) are otherwise known\nAs a baron of beef,\nAnd it's my firm belief\nI could eat one, yes, all on my own.", "id": 12702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My dear, I am feeling quite amorous;\nI shall praise you in verses tetramerous!\nLet's canoodle and huggle,\nAnd cuddle and snuggle.\nDisregard that I'm old and not glamorous!", "id": 12703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For a ham, it's a joyful occasion\nWhen his beam-path submits to persuasion\nBy electrons unbound,\nWhose refraction is found\nWith the Appleton-Hartree equation.", "id": 12704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Shmuel", "limerick": "My roommate does crunches galore\nOn inflatable balls and the floor\nWith effort phenomenal,\nFirming abdominal\nMuscles for all to adore.", "id": 12705, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Shmuel", "limerick": "Her medical school threw her out,\nFor her knowledge was always in doubt.\nShe told Dr. Vischer\nAn abdominal fissure\nWas a Yeti who hunted for trout.", "id": 12706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Almost all situations arising\nFrom attempts to be self-aggrandizing\nHave unpleasant results,\nSuch as sneers and insults,\nBoth befitting and hardly surprising.", "id": 12707, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "As businesses doctor accounts\nIn increasingly greater amounts,\nIt seems that consumers\nAre losing their bloomers;\nIt's money they're bleeding in founts.", "id": 12708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A fuel cell that leaves no pollution,\nAnd uses a boride solution,\nCould replace gasoline\nFor a car that runs clean \u2014\nAn automobile revolution.", "id": 12709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some people appear to be cryptic,\nAnd speak in a manner elliptic,\nFor as they well know,\nIf their weaknesses show,\nThe result could be apocalyptic.", "id": 12710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An A-bomb's a weapon atomic\nWhose use cannot be economic,\nSince mad heads of state\nMight retaliate\u2014straight\nTo results far more tragic than comic.", "id": 12711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abscondence \u2014 a fugitive's hiding,\nIn a place of concealment abiding;\nAnd that's a safe place\nExcept in the case\nOf searchers and sought coinciding.", "id": 12712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "The cops caught a carthorse called Mort,\nWho had plugged his pal Prancer for sport.\nHe was held without hay,\nJust one apple a day,\nThen was tried at the Badminton court.", "id": 12714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Once a man took a fall from his horse\nAnd shattered his leg in the gorse.\nSo he crawled to his car,\nMade a splint from a bar:\nAutotherapy seemed the best course.", "id": 12715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "That posse, oh how they harangue us.\nThe sheriff is fixin' to hang us!\nNo, we won't live to chow\nOn a hornless black cow\nBred in Scotland and known as Black Angus.", "id": 12716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "\"I'll not go to the clinic.  Instead\nI'll just fix it myself,\" old Doc said.\nSomething sharp in the trash\nCut his hand. What a gash!\n\"Suture self,\" his wife said as he bled.", "id": 12717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An ancress named Julian of Norwich\nLived walled-in by a church, as in storage;\nAll her guests she would tell,\n\"All is God, all is well,\"\nAs they proffered her day's bowl of porridge.", "id": 12718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, the Greek poet absurd,\nHad a beak like a predator-bird.\nWith a schnozz like a hook,\nHe'd a hell of a look\nAnd a snore that's the loudest I've heard.", "id": 12719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Said the bailbondsman briefly to me,\n\"The arrangement's quite simple, you see:\nAs your crime's mild, you're bailable\nIf cash is available.\nJust find me the fee and you're free.\"", "id": 12720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "\"Take your bandy legs back to Dundee,\"\nSaid the Major, and spluttered his tea.\n\"I should thrash you, of course,\nIf you weren't on your horse.\nDo you dare bandy insults with me?\"", "id": 12721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When binary galaxies gyre,\nEach vortex of nuclear fire\nIs gripped by the force\nOf a gravity source,\nAnd a hungrily circling desire.", "id": 12723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Both their r\u00e9sum\u00e9s say they are hot,\nBut we really don't know what they've got.\nWhen we're judging their minds,\nThere are only 10 kinds:\nThey know binary, or they do not.", "id": 12724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Angry people are known to appall;\nFull of bile, they've no humor at all.\nFor the French, it's no mystery:\nNowhere was history\nEver more bitter than Gaul.", "id": 12725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Every twilight, I'm lifting my gaze\nTo the sky, where the glories amaze\nAnd the shadows converge\nAt the Earth's tilting verge,\nCasting anticrepuscular rays.", "id": 12726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Here in Texas, the summer's no breeze.\nAs for shade, well, there aren't many trees.\nA blue norther blows in\nAnd I can't help but grin,\nAs outside it drops 30 degrees.", "id": 12727, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An astroseismologist knows\nHow a photosphere jiggles and flows.\nThough it's parsecs away,\nHe can happily say\n\"Xi Hydrae's sure tappin' his toes!\"", "id": 12728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Adiabatic demagnetization\nIs a geeky deep-freezing sensation.\nA magnetic-salt pill\nReally gives you a chill\nWith its no-moving-parts operation.", "id": 12729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though roses, misnamed, smell as sweet,\nWhen the Globe put up shows down the street,\nThe Rose itself withered,\nIts timbers were shivered,\nAnd the Admiral's Men smelled defeat.", "id": 12731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Baade's Window, when first he peered through,\nShowed a cosmic, incomparable view,\nAnd this small open door\nTo the Galaxy's core\nIs enjoyed by a reverent few.", "id": 12732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For optics that strive for perfection,\nA coating that's antireflection\nA quarter-wave thick\nWill accomplish the trick:\nDiminishing photon rejection.", "id": 12733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the deserts of Mars, there is room\nFor an unbridled fancy to bloom,\nFor a glittering blade\nThere to rescue a maid,\nAll in Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom.", "id": 12734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As your capsule careens 'round the Moon,\nYou might splash on a peak or a dune,\nBut the highest you'll fare\nIs at apolune, where\nThere's least peril of being bestrewn.", "id": 12735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Its rays are ineffably fine,\nA star that approaches divine.\nThough my name now exists\nIn the \"most wanted\" lists,\nThis asteriated sapphire is mine.", "id": 12736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aspiration's a wish to rise higher,\nBut its other sense often is dire.\nSuck in wieners (or tongues),\nAnd you'll plug up your lungs,\nAnd at best you'll aspire to retire.", "id": 12737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I must wake from this horrible dream!\nI was caught in the aliens' beam;\nI bubbled a cough\nAnd my face melted off.\nI'm astomatous, and I must scream.", "id": 12738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Small patterns of stars, like the Gourd,\nIn a culture, are named by accord.\nHow an asterism's known\nSets a cultural tone.\nIn Detroit, is the Dipper a Ford?", "id": 12739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our machines make intelligence moot;\nWe can't spell or do math worth a hoot.\nWhen some engineer made\nAutofocus, I prayed:\nPretty-please, let me just point-and-shoot.", "id": 12740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The apostle of culture's sad soul\nNow regrets the effects of his role.\nThe ironical cost\nPaid for innocence lost\nLeaves him beggared of faith, on the dole.", "id": 12741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Double-E's must give serious credence\nTo Ohm's law's abstruse antecedents,\nWhere complex admittance,\nIf barely a pittance,\nResults in a whopping impedance.", "id": 12742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "After owls eat Lord Sepulchrave Groan,\nFleeing Titus finds freedom, Alone.\nLater, when he recalls\nCrumbling Gormenghast's walls,\nHe can't fathom his need to atone.", "id": 12743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An effect with an awesome appeal\nCalled Aharonov-Bohm, can reveal\nMetaphysical fictions\nAren't just for predictions:\nExperiment shows that they're real.", "id": 12744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I greet every day at its start\nWith a hymn, an aubade from my heart.\nThough my voice is a joke\n(I'm a frog with a croak),\nIn my mind, I'm performing high art.", "id": 12745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Don't pretend there is real competition;\nThese youngsters have naught but ambition.\nYou know I'm the best;\nOn my laurels, let's rest.\nI suggest we just skip the audition.", "id": 12746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "My augur has got a black eye\u2014\nDoes he think that I pay him to lie?\nThis whole schtick's for the birds:\nFirst he mumbles some words,\nThen predicts that I'm still gonna die!", "id": 12747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Close at hand, you were fiery insistence,\nAnd none could ignore your existence,\nBut magnitude, scaled\nTo absolute, paled\nTo a glimmer at 10 parsecs' distance.", "id": 12748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Never try to divide the atomic,\n'Cause you can't, and to try would be comic,\nAnd if you succeed\nIn this unlikely deed,\nYour career as a comic will bomb (ick!).", "id": 12749, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The contraction of actinide ions\nIs a puzzle we're leaving to scions;\nWhen you pack more stuff in,\nThe proportions grow thin \u2014\nBut look out if you feed them big pions.", "id": 12750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In his long venture-capital quest,\nThe asker was harried and stressed,\nAnd always felt weary\nBecause of his theory\nThat he who asks first will ask best.", "id": 12751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Black Dwarf is a novel by Scott\nWith a tortuous, syrupy plot.\nThough it once was a friend,\nHe was glad of its end,\nBut his readers were certainly not.", "id": 12752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though the NFL strikers were mocking,\nThe thespian stand-ins came knocking.\nYou could tell from the start\nWhen a play fell apart,\nThey would blame its demise on bad blocking.", "id": 12753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Angevin dynasties (two)\nWere medieval and French (from Anjou).\nBy induction, the strings\nOf Plantagenet kings\nWould have Henrys galore (and they do!).", "id": 12754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An armigerous man with a crest\nWill display it and puff out his chest.\nThere are so many rules\nAbout family gules\nThat ignoring the lot would be best.", "id": 12755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Anamorphic distortion was in,\nUsed in Cinemascope for a win\nTo project double-wide\nAnd get viewers inside.\nOn the film, even Orson was thin.", "id": 12756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "This asthenia's making me mild\n(I am weak, with the strength of a child).\nNow let's guess at the reasons:\nI've too many seasons?\nOr maybe my lover just smiled!", "id": 12757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The direction from you to the Sun?\nAntisolar's the opposite one.\nOn a dark, moonless night,\nGhostly Gegenschein light\nCan be seen there, if cities you shun.", "id": 12758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "You wanted to set an example,\nRow spacing and water were ample.\nYour chickens won't grow?\nIt's obvious! (Though,\nTo be safe, you should send a soil sample.)", "id": 12759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "He says \"Boy, I love kidneys and stout!\"\nBut this mayor from Dyfed has gout,\nAnd when light drains away\nOver Cardigan Bay,\nToasts his town, Aberystwyth, without.", "id": 12760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "At the bloomery, ores meet their doom\nIn a fiery Vulcanian womb.\nWith our sweat, iron's bought\nWhen the billets are wrought\nFrom the slag-spongy mass of the bloom.", "id": 12761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The constant that Boltzmann called k\nWas this physicist's effort to say\n\"Let the energy pass\nTo each atom of gas\nIn a temperature-sensitive way.\"", "id": 12762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Oh professor, don't think me unruly;\nI've a question.  I'm asking it coolly.\nWhen a spiral takes form\nIn a flower or storm,\nWhy's it named for that fellow, Bernoulli?", "id": 12763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The theory is nakedly stark:\nA bottom's a flavor of quark.\nThough who'd want to savor\nA bottomy flavor?\nSay \"strange\", and you're missing the mark.", "id": 12764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Once, to use the word Negro was quite\nDemocratic, correct, and polite;\nBut the people so named\nCan in no way be blamed\u2014\nTo become anti-Negro's their right.", "id": 12765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "An eight-legged spider said, \"Geez!\n(And my six-legged friend here agrees.)\nWe find it so comic\nThat parts anatomic\nAre singles and pairs, never threes.\"", "id": 12766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "7thsibling", "limerick": "There was a young lady from Kalisz\nWho tended to, well, apple-polish.\nShe'd fawn and she'd flatter\nWith sycophant patter,\nTo find favor with men large and smallish.", "id": 12767, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "My biopsy came back today,\nAnd all that my doctor could say\nWas, \"Put down the martini,\nEat only zucchini\nAnd maybe you'll live 'til next May.\"", "id": 12768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Rhett bragged of a horse he had vetted:\nBetz placed grudging wagers and fretted.\nRhett urged him to go\nAnd bet all of his dough:\nRhett abetted the bets Betz had betted.", "id": 12769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I likes necklaces, diamonds and rings,\nBut I had me no cash for dem t'ings,\nSo I'm sittin' in Sing Sing\nFor boostin' some bling bling:\nDese bracelets I'm wearin'\u2014dey stings!", "id": 12770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My lexicon wasn't worth beans.\nTo improve it, I'm using routines:\nSee, I started with a,\nTo am- made my way.\nNext I'll learn what ameliorate means.", "id": 12771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As that Arafat guy is deceased,\nThe chances for peace have increased.\nI say, yessir, it's clear\nNow that Yasser's not here,\nCalm may slowly pervade the Mideast.", "id": 12772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Said the chairman, \"We must not forget\nTo cover up all our bad debt.\nI will call it goodwill\u2014\nI will act as its shill\u2014\nSo our balance sheet balances yet.\"", "id": 12773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Aposiopesis today\nIn rhetoric's acting this way:\nYou break off the thought,\nAs if you've been caught\nWithout any more you can...", "id": 12774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "You shamelessly shrugged off concealing\nYour crime\u2014you are guilty of stealing.\nYou were blatant and bold,\nAnd this verdict should hold\nIn the case that you bother appealing.", "id": 12775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Addis Ababa, mid-Ethiopia:\nRastafarian smokers' utopia.\n(Such a highly salacious\nPursuit\u2014goodness gracious!\nWhat opened this dope cornucopia?)", "id": 12776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Pierre told his son, \"It will pay,\nTo ship off my nouveau Beaujolais.\nFrom the lemming-like Yanks\nWe will get many francs\nFor young wine of fermented gamay.\"", "id": 12777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Clueless Saul smote the Amalekite\nWith the edge of his sword, then lost sight\nOf the fact Agag's sheep\nWere not his sheep to keep,\nWhich gave Samuel a long, sleepless night.", "id": 12778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Aholibah, in the vicinity\nOf Judah, sold cheap femininity.\nZeke spat out her story\nIn bald allegory:\nBruised breasts of a misspent virginity.", "id": 12779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Moses lowered his arms: Israel quailed.\nThen he raised them: his people prevailed.\nLike the arms of a chair\nHur stood here, Aaron there.\nIn the end, the Amalekites failed.", "id": 12780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Behold, now I stand at the door;\nStand and knock\u2014open up, I implore!\nCan any man hear me?\nI'm hungry, and dear me,\nMy knuckles are swollen and sore.", "id": 12781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "As to David, there isn't a doubt\nWhat Abiathar's ephod's about.\nAfter Dave put it on\nFolks would flatter and fawn:\nIt's the ephod that gave David clout.", "id": 12782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "We can guess how King Dave might defend\nHow he chose those on whom to depend:\n\"Ahithophel tells me\nWhen folly propels me,\nBut Hushai the Archite's my friend.\"", "id": 12783, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Since they dive in the sea from some height,\nThe odds they've large brains are quite slight.\nCalled a \"dunce\" by ships' crews\nWho would add them to stews,\nTheir name booby seems just about right.", "id": 12784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "We were shocked and appalled when we learned\nThat our son (when just thirteen he'd turned)\nHad smoked the dread weed;\nWe'd assumed he'd agreed\nThat though we smoke, his vice wasn't earned.", "id": 12785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The baya's a bird that plays tricks;\nTrainers teach them to show off for kicks.\nThey tie knots with their beaks,\nCan thread beads; such techniques\nImpress females who then want their chicks.", "id": 12786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Stinks so bad you might call it ferocious,\nThat Limburger cheese smells atrocious.\nBut my five-year-old kid\n(Whom I just can't forbid\nA taste) likes it\u2014she must be precocious.", "id": 12787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Though it's not a real balcony, it's\nA railing a house often fits\nIn front of a window.\nNot fake, it's akin, though:\nA balconet just adds some glitz.", "id": 12788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Badwater's a point far below\nSea level, a place most won't go.\nThe hottest and baddest,\nIts runners the maddest:\nDon't race it if you're not a pro.", "id": 12789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Now, affectless means unrevealing\nOf emotional states, or unfeeling.\nWith Botox injected,\nMoods pass undetected\nIn wrinkle-free faces concealing.", "id": 12790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He searched for his Binky and blankie;\nWithout them, she knew he'd be cranky.\nHe just stomped and he whined\nWhile she sighed and opined,\n\"Lover boy, you could suck on my hanky.\"", "id": 12791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For animal rights he's concerned,\nSo PETA he joined, once he learned\nLabs take critters from nests\nAnd subject them to tests\nFor cosmetics where eyeballs get burned.", "id": 12792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Lest you think that it's just posts and railing,\nA bannister stops you from flailing.\nClimbing stairs, you hold on,\nAlthough some kids are drawn\nTo slide down one for thrills quite unfailing.", "id": 12793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "All his assets he's stashing offshore;\nSaving taxes when rich\u2014what a chore!\nWith warm tropical breezes\nAnd no-tax 'pertises,\nBahamian banks he'll explore.", "id": 12794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Dear Abby, I thought I would write\nTo confess. Please consider my plight:\nI had sex with my ex;\nWe were drunk\u2014it's complex.\nPlease advise. Signed, Chagrined and Contrite.", "id": 12795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Call me shocked and appalled when you said\nThat the old man next door (long thought dead)\nHas now turned up in Maine\u2014\nWith some babe, on cocaine\u2014\nJoined Hell's Angels and now shaves his head.", "id": 12796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "One anchor you toss in the sea;\nAnother kind's found on TV.\nThe first holds a ship,\nWhile the other might slip\nWhen the news and the truth don't agree.", "id": 12797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "That freshman cannot stand a storm.\nAstraphobic, she just can't perform\nWhen there's thunder and lightning;\nShe finds it so frightening,\nShe'll ditch and stay safe in her dorm.", "id": 12798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Agapanthus: from south of the Nile,\nThese lilies are quite versatile.\nTheir summery blooms\nBrought inside brighten rooms,\nBut in winter, they're gone for a while.", "id": 12799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Appreciation for art hand-created\nCan fluctuate. Often belated,\nIt might fall or rise\nWhen art critics surmise\nWhat was fresh is now ageless\u2014or dated.", "id": 12800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He offered her cash; she said, \"No.\"\n\"But you're\u2014\" \"Sir! Now I really must go.\nMy debts aren't great\nAnd besides, I've a date.\"\nSo she abstinently turned down his dough.", "id": 12801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My great-grandpa, a hundred and three,\nLives actively; won't watch TV,\nStarted tennis and crew\nAt a hundred and two,\nAnd credits his brand-new fake knee.", "id": 12802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Northern Ireland's capital site,\nThe city of Belfast, has quite\nA long saga of strain\nFrom the passion and pain\nOf the Protestant-Catholic fight.", "id": 12803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Biosynthesis formulates many\nTypes of chemical compounds in any\nLiving being you see,\nLike a dog or a tree\nOr a guy in a diner named Lenny.", "id": 12804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Biotechnical products are viewed\nWith suspicion by some, and include\nDrugs and hormones galore,\nToxic weapons of war,\nAnd genetically modified food.", "id": 12805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Said the pilot, \"The aerial brand\nOf photography captured these grand\nColor images of\nThe terrain from above\nIn my plane, which I flew with one hand.\"", "id": 12806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "No persuasion to buy on TV\nEver made a believer of me.\nI will not drain my wallet\nFor whatchamacallit!\nWhat's that you say? Shipping is free?", "id": 12807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "At an auction, as challengers vie\nFor an item, the price rises high,\nAnd the prizewinning bidder's\nThe guy who considers\nIt most worth his money to buy.", "id": 12808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A gene-crazy genius created\nA clone of himself, long awaited.\n\"How's it feel, your success?\"\nHe was asked by the press.\n\"I'm beside myself! Simply elated!\"", "id": 12809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Falling back in the fall, it is said,\nGives us one extra hour in bed.\nBut, alas, in the spring\nIt's a less restful thing\nAs we're setting the clocks back ahead.", "id": 12810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "An apothecary portions out pills\nFor the piles of prescriptions he fills,\nAnd his capsules and potions,\nElixirs, and lotions\nCan cure any number of ills.", "id": 12811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I bleakly examine my chances\nTo better my hopeless finances:\nMy prospects are dismal,\nMy debt is abysmal,\nAnd meanwhile, my bleakness advances.", "id": 12812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The botanical garden displayed\nMany trees, which the wind gently swayed,\nAmong beautiful flowers.\nI'd love to spend hours\nJust strolling about in its shade.", "id": 12813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Automatic withdrawal can pay\nAll your bills in an effortless way.\nWithout checks, you are able\nTo pay for your cable\nOr fund your son's Roth IRA.", "id": 12814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "To confirm the connection is tight,\nKeep the nut held in place, then recite:\n\"Turning left makes it loose,\"\nAnd from that you'll deduce\nYou should thus turn the bolt to the right.", "id": 12815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "My acid indigestion's a curse.\nWhen I eat fatty meat, it gets worse.\nIf my acid-packed tummy\nFelt any more crummy,\nI'd worry I'd soon need a hearse.", "id": 12816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Aluminum foil is reliable\nFor keeping your leftovers viable.\nIt easily wraps\nAround edible scraps\n'Cause it's thin and remarkably pliable.", "id": 12817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Bob's uptight, and he'll pay any price\nTo avoid an explosive device.\nFor a sound, restful sleep,\nOnly staying down deep\nIn a bombproof retreat will suffice.", "id": 12818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In Montana, I often can't wait\nTo depart, for I'm not feeling great.\nBut I also should add\nThat it isn't so bad;\nI'm in more of a borderline state.", "id": 12819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I'm in love with this store near the lake where\nThere's all sorts of wonderful bakeware,\nFulfilling my wishes\nFor casserole dishes\nAnd cookie sheets, roasters, and cakeware.", "id": 12820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The dull, lazy teacher explains,\n\"Abdominopelvic pertains\nTo a cavity where\u2026\nWell, some things are in there,\nBut you won't have the heart or the brains.\"", "id": 12821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Flocks of jocks from the blocks by the docks\nLove to box, cleaning clocks near the stocks.\nEach one wishes his might\nWith his fists in a fight\nKnocks the socks (and the frocks) off a fox.", "id": 12822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When the bigwigs deliver a beating,\nThey will summon the drones: \"All-hands meeting!\"\nThere they'll scream 'til they're blue,\nThreaten layoffs anew,\nCancel raises, and turn down the heating.", "id": 12823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "With a forty-point margin projected,\nThe bottom dog wasn't selected\nBy one single person.\nNow bettors are cursin'\u2014\nThe upset was quite unexpected!", "id": 12824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "There's a problem we need to address:\nAll your work is a pitiful mess.\nIt's a botch, and we trust\nYou can grasp our disgust.\nIf you do, that's your only success.", "id": 12825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A limerick that boundlessly goes\nOn and on would be hard to compose.\nTo extend without end?\nIt's absurd, I contend,\nWhich is why this is not one of those.", "id": 12828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "This bodybuilder's ponderous pecs\nLook as though they might pop with each flex;\nHis gargantuan guns\nAre outstanding\u2014each one's\nSurely larger than most people's necks.", "id": 12829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Your nerves? There's no reason to worry.\nThey are doing their job in a hurry:\nSending signals (like pain)\nAll the way to your brain\nIn a bioelectrical flurry.", "id": 12830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Tell me, where am I going, and how?\nFor what happenings should I allow?\nAs I hustle and hurry,\nI constantly worry,\n\"Just what will become of me now?\"", "id": 12831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Some roaches and rodents and ants\nAnd a few other pests took a stance.\n\"Hug a bug!\" \"Let us bee!\"\nAnd \"KO DDT!\"\nWere their top antipesticide chants.", "id": 12832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "In the blackness, I'm fumbling around,\nAnd there isn't a light to be found,\nAnd I've twice bumped my head,\nAnd it fills me with dread,\nThat anonymous ominous sound.", "id": 12833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A baking sheet's metal and flat,\nWith a rectangle's figure, at that.\nThese cookies I'm lovin'\nWere baked in the oven\nOn one that I greased with some fat.", "id": 12834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "As this blatherer jabbered in nonsense,\nIt seemed he'd completely forgone sense,\nAnd my headache progressed\nAs the rot he professed\nCarried on in a long, on-and-on sense.", "id": 12835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Deep and dark, the Black Sea is the main\nShipping outlet for goods from Ukraine.\nAnd with other great rivers,\nThe Danube delivers\nIt water from distant terrain.", "id": 12836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "He does not have a partisan thrust,\nAnd his candid campaign is a bust.\nHe's a fair-minded guy\nYou can all kiss goodbye\u2014\nHe's a neuter one biting the dust.", "id": 12837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I went to the doctor and got\nMe a booster, an adequate shot\nFor sustaining immunity.\nThat germ's opportunity\nFor making me sick is now squat.", "id": 12838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Larry Bird was deceptively quick\nAnd unlikely to throw up a brick,\nAnd this All-Star was three\nTimes the league MVP.\nHe's a legend, this hick from French Lick.", "id": 12839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If your interest in dance starts to droop\nTry ballet from a better-class group.\nGo to Moscow to see\nJust how good dance can be \u2014\nThe Bolshoi is a top-level troupe.", "id": 12840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Armadillo,\" I thought, at the byway,\n\"You're too strong on the song titled 'My Way'.\nDo you dilly and dally\nUphill and down valley\nOr only in crossing a highway?\"", "id": 12841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A way of improving a house is\nTo lighten the tensions of spouses.\nA mousetrap is great,\nBut it always needs bait,\nWhile the antetype cats still catch mouses.", "id": 12842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Last hand: with abandon profuse,\nNathaniel bet freely and loose.\n\"Ace high,\" Charlie smiled.\nNat replied, \"Two-spots wild,\nPot's mine,\" turned one card, to adduce.", "id": 12843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On the beach she sees constant reminders\nOf features more fair than I'd find hers.\nSo she says, \"Hold your horses!\"\nHer recourse, of course, is\nTo outfit my eyes with some blinders.", "id": 12844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The flight-check technicians were last off.\nThe countdown baton had been passed off.\nThree cosmonauts waited\nWith breath much abated \u2014\nDid Popov, Andropov, and... Blastoff!", "id": 12845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Back on campus, the epithet Greek\nCarries with it a certain mystique.\nTo the ancients, a flat\nFull of men was no frat,\nBut an andron\u2014downstairs, so to speak.", "id": 12846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If in Queens I say \"quoffee and bagel,\"\nBut in Cork speak in brogue to inveigle,\nThen I in effect'll\nBe bidialectal.\n(That's my understanding of Hegel.)", "id": 12847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "At Christmas, young tubers forego\nRejoicing, though they're in the show\nAs they roast all day long,\nLike the line in that song,\n\"'Tater tots with their eyes all aglow.\"", "id": 12848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Autogenic activities rage\nAs my body advances in age.\nWhat was frequent and certain\nNow's often inert 'n\nMakes appetites hard to assuage.", "id": 12849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "He was one who attempted to show\nThat his family was valid. Although\nThe poor Addon would fail,\nWe remember his tale\nAs a case of what fathers bestow.", "id": 12850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I've been sitting here, writing for days,\nEating meals at my keyboard. This craze\nAppears not to be fleeting;\nMy ass is accreting\nTo wood in mysterious ways.", "id": 12851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I dined with the psych ward's director.\nNo gourmet, he's more an affecter.\nWe'd chianti with liver\nAnd fava beans (shiver)!\nI won't eat again with Doc Lecter.", "id": 12852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Can Ernie's two docs ascertain\nThe reason his ass is in pain?\nTo say these internists\nAre working in Ernest's\nAn asinine pun I disdain.", "id": 12853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When in Maine, if \"ayuh\" you should hear\nIn response to your question, don't fear:\nWe're denoting accord,\nAnd mean nothing untoward\u2014\nIt means \"yes\" to the people up here.", "id": 12854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Hawaiians used stars to provide\nNavigation for trips far and wide.\nAt the zenith, they're bright\nWhen the latitude's right;\nTo Hawai'i, Arcturus would guide.", "id": 12855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Current models are not without flaw;\nWe zapped rocks, and resistance we saw.\nHow our fortunes have turned!\nOh the billions we've earned,\nBy our fudging of old Archie's law.", "id": 12856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Astrometers measure each star\nAnd catalog where they all are.\nThese reticle-sighters\nMay follow all-nighters\nBy raising a glass at the bar.", "id": 12857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "To a goy like I am, Ashkenazi\nMeans Jewish; beyond that I'm fozzie.\nSephardics from Spain\nAre another domain,\nBut they might as well be Anasazi.", "id": 12858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An obligate aerobe is bound\nTo reside where O2 can be found.\nFrom its nebular birth,\nFor long eons on Earth\nThere were none of these critters around.", "id": 12859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If its brittleness is a mistake,\nAnd your work-hardened metal might break,\nThis flaw can be healed\nIf the part is annealed,\nMeaning heated, for ruggedness' sake.", "id": 12860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you're breathing azote, and it's pure,\nFor five minutes or more, I am sure\nYou'll be crossing the Styx\nFrom a nitrogen fix,\nBut for pests that infest, it's a cure.", "id": 12861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You know your adrenal glands, right?\nThey prepare you to fight or take flight.\nBut adreno-, the toxin,\nSlows runnin' and boxin':\nDon't eat it, not even a bite!", "id": 12862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Don't screech like you're fryin' in lava;\n\"Love coffee\"\u2014you're jivin' on java.\nYou'll do better, I know\nIf we have one more go\nAt an octave below: all' ottava.", "id": 12863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In a dram, sixty grains may be found,\nAnd twelve ounces can stretch to a pound:\nI don't scruple to state\nThat apothec'ries' weight\nIs clearly not metrically sound.", "id": 12864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Aboriginal peoples arrived\nBefore others.  They stayed and survived.\nThen the newcomers came\n(C. Columbus, one name):\nPassing few aborigines thrived.", "id": 12865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To develop a taste, people say,\nYou adjust in a gradual way\u2014\nLike my fondness for beer,\nThe result of a year\nOf imbibing two cases a day.", "id": 12866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The word baby: I'm sure you're aware it\nSuggests \"small.\"  Take the term baby carrot:\nIt's a tinier brand\nOf that vegetable, and\nIt's decidedly harder to share it.", "id": 12867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An adventurer's a brave man and bold,\nOf whom stirring stories are told.\nBut an adventuress,\nWell that's rather less \u2014\nFor she's only after his gold.", "id": 12868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Spiders and scorpions and ticks\nAre not many people's first picks.\nAs pets they're not sweet,\nThey have too many feet\nAnd they simply won't learn to do tricks.", "id": 12869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In the Cartesian plane where you're found,\nBy two axes your motion is bound:\nUp and down on the ordinate;\nThe other coordinate's\nThe abscissa, that's flat to the ground.", "id": 12870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "This limerick's not special or new.\nIt has anapest metre that's true.\nIt has accurate rhyme,\nI can tell you this time \u2014\nIt's  a bog standard verse through and through.", "id": 12871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bicoloured? Two colours, that's right!\nBlue and green? Red and yellow? Well, quite.\nTwo disparate shades,\nAnd the meaning parades\nBefore you in clear black and white.", "id": 12872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Technology gives me no thrill.\nThat new music? Discordant and shrill.\nGuess I don't comprehend\nEvery new-fangled trend.\nModern life? It bewilders me still.", "id": 12874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "AJROTC? Say no more!\nI don't wish to be ready for war.\nI won't join your platoon, ya\nCan keep Army Junior\nReserve Officer Training Corps.", "id": 12875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Turn the screw and the vice starts to bite.\nTurn some more till it's clamped good and tight.\nKeep a firm, rigid grip\nAnd your chisel won't slip.\n(But relax it a bit and it might.)", "id": 12876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The conspiracy theories abound.\nMen in black can be found all around.\nAnd the number we dread's\n23, there are threads\nThat can make it a mystery profound.", "id": 12877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "More power, you say, Cap'n? Oh no!\nThe Enterprise just will nae go\nAt warp factor ten.\nShe'll break down again.\nThe dilithium crystals will blow.", "id": 12878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "She has teeth that are blackened and rotted\nAnd eyes shot with blood, skin that's spotted\u2014\nBut you must keep in mind\nThat's it's true, love is blind\u2014\nAnd I think I can say I'm besotted.", "id": 12879, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You're counting, nought, one, ten, eleven\nAnd 1-1-1's how you write seven;\nYour numerical base\nIs two, and your place\nIs reserved in computer-nerd heaven.", "id": 12880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The Houses of Parliament's tower?\nOr the clock there, as some will avow? A\nMistake used for either,\nBig Ben's really neither \u2014\nIt's the bell that rings out on the hour.", "id": 12882, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A snake with bright red on its back\nAnd a wasp striped in yellow and black:\nTheir aposematic\nColour's dramatic\nAnd keeps them quite safe from attack.", "id": 12883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Every blemish and blight, every blot,\nEvery pimple and pustule she's got,\nShe has powdered and painted \u2014\nHer skin looks untainted \u2014\nBut for one single (fake) beauty spot.", "id": 12884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"The hole that you've dug is too big,\"\nOr \"There's nothing to see, not a fig!\"\nThese affronts are obscure,\nBut each one I am sure\nIs an archaeological dig.", "id": 12886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "As happy's related to sad,\nOr as good is related to bad,\nSo to synonym we\nCan say antonym, see \u2014\nA reversal I'm happy to add.", "id": 12887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I don't vote for the left or the right.\nI've no time for bipartisan fight.\nI'm not hypocritical,\nJust apolitical.\nLib Dems? Well I guess that I might.", "id": 12888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My attire didn't go down too well,\nBut I ask you now, how could I tell?\nIt said \"black tie required\",\nSo that's what I hired\nAnd went otherwise au naturel.", "id": 12889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Won the lottery! Sadly I'm sick. It\nWill not be too long 'fore I kick it.\nBut I will spend the lot,\nGonna blow  all I've got.\nAnd my heirs? Let them buy their own ticket.", "id": 12890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My clothes are considered a joke.\nMy tailoring's never bespoke\n'Cos I buy off the peg\nSo that my inside leg\nDoesn't need to be felt by a bloke.", "id": 12891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You can't get here by road or by rail,\nAnd on foot it's a tortuous trail.\nI have always been fond\nOf the back of beyond:\nMiles from anywhere o'er hill and dale.", "id": 12892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "It is large, brightly coloured and round,\nAnd it lies by the sea on the ground.\nNo, it's not my aunt Tillie,\nIt's a beach ball, you silly.\nThe resemblance is sure to confound.", "id": 12893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Kill them all with such bloodthirsty glee.\nHack off limbs in your wild killing spree.\nIt's damnation and flames\nIn computerised games,\nBut I fear it's all too much for me.", "id": 12894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The Treasury clerk said, \"I confess,\nI'm to blame for this terrible mess.\nI forgot that our billion\nIs one million million:\nIn the States it's a thousand times less!\"", "id": 12895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "First, A begat B begat C\nBegat D begat E begat me.\nThough I'd like to beget,\nI have not begot yet.\nI'll be getting it soon \u2014 wait and see!", "id": 12897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The bridge club who met every week\nWere annoyed to discover a clique\nOf malcontents saying,\n\"We'd rather be playing\nA couple of hands of bezique.\"", "id": 12898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Two sets with a well-mapped connection\nThat works in whichever direction\n(For each A there's one B\nAnd vice-versa you see)\nGive a mapping that's called a bijection.", "id": 12899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Mild-mannered, bespectacled Clark\nIn disasters was quick off the mark.\nOff came glasses and tie\nAs he leapt to the sky.\n\"It's a bird! It's a plane!\" they'd remark.", "id": 12900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"What a wonderful town's Hay-on-Wye!\"\nSaid the bibliophile, with a sigh.\n\"All those crannies and nooks\nFilled with nothing but books!\nI could browse through the shelves till I die.\"", "id": 12901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"I'm normally keener than mustard\nAnd not at all flummoxed or flustered.\nBut I'm getting some gyp\nFrom the bone in my hip.\nI can't fight,\" the old soldier blustered.", "id": 12902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The doctor said, \"How do you feel,\nNow you've eaten your barium meal?\nThough the stuff that you ate\nMay make X-rays look great,\nAs a main course it's lacking appeal.\"", "id": 12903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I say \"black\" and you always say \"white.\"\nI say \"day\" and your answer is \"night.\"\nWhy do you have to be\nAntithetic to me?\nWell I guess this is love, am I right?", "id": 12904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A vessel about to leave port\nFlies a flag of a singular sort:\nA square that is white\nOn a ground blue and bright\u2014\nThe blue peter's the flag it must sport.", "id": 12905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When your tummy you really abominate,\nA bicarbonate tablet I'd nominate,\nSince the longer you wait,\nThe more you'll inflate.\nYou should not let your tummy (ab)dominate.", "id": 12906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "You're my buddy, my best friend, my bro;\nWe've been closer than most chums I know.\nBut I'm calling it quits,\nPal, your stench is the pits:\nYou've a god-awful case of B.O.", "id": 12907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Adulterize: sin, through and through.\nExtra-marital flings are taboo.\nIf she catches you cheatin'\nYou'll get a good beatin'\nIn court (and perhaps at home, too).", "id": 12908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Antimonial medicines bar\nSchistosomas and kala-azar.\nAntimony, when wed\nTo soft metals like lead,\nActs its part as a hardening star.", "id": 12909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Was Jesus the same stuff as God?\nFourth century folks found it odd\nTo think Arian thought.\nAthanasians did not.\nOne substance for both, they'd applaud.", "id": 12910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "At the heart's sinoatrial node\nIt began, and then onward it flowed\nLike the fronds of a date tree: co-\nchemical atrio-\nventricular heart-jolting road.", "id": 12911, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Thoughts of chocolate chip cookies entice,\nSo I measure ingredients twice,\nAdd some eggs, beat like cake,\nSet the first batch to BAKE,\nThen eat cookie dough, flouting advice.", "id": 12912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Apophyseal bony knobs catch\nExcess stresses on bones, which they match.\nThese bulges at joints\nAre the reinforced points\nWhere connectors can safely attach.", "id": 12913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the lining dissolves from her womb\nBut no egg joins the seeping red flume\nSince she's thin, or morose,\nOr she's taking a dose,\nThen anovulatory's her spume.", "id": 12914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Filled with tablecloths, fresh from the presser,\nOur black-walnut and marble-topped dresser\nCarries soup bowls agleam\nWith black walnut ice cream:\nIt's our family's nutty de-stresser.", "id": 12915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A gibberish, babel, and din,\nBrays out from the hole by your chin.\nOutlandish, estranged,\nOne might say it's deranged,\nWhen your speech is a base baragouin.", "id": 12916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Since asbestos can give people cancer,\nFind Pink Panther:  it might be the answer\nTo keep a house warm.\nGlass in fiber-like form,\nAn asbestoid R-factor enhancer.", "id": 12917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A baxter and baker once wed.\nSaid the baker, \"I'll make all the bread\nAnd my famous d\u00e9clairs.\"\n\"I like festive affairs,\nSo I'll bake all the cakes,\" Baxter said.", "id": 12918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The all-heal or self heal, a mint\nPanacea of purplish tint,\nLurks on lawns in the suburbs,\nWhere homeowners snub herbs\nThat help, as the name tries to hint.", "id": 12919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Boston Harbor is subject to breezes\nThat worsen in weather that freezes.\nIt took sixty screw sets\nTo fix MASSACHUSETTS\nAgainst anti-billboard reprises.", "id": 12920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Dry Tortugas in summer are hot\nFor a brown or black noddy to spot;\nYou can sail from Key West\nTo an Anous nest:\nShort-tailed swoop-fishers roost on this dot.", "id": 12921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "England's Amesbury was old when the Dane\nGazed on Stonehenge upon Salisbury Plain.\nIts namesake in Mass.\nGuards the Merrimack's pass\nBefore Salisbury meets Gulf of Maine.", "id": 12922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the springtime, I hiked with a pal\nOn a towpath along a canal;\nHeard a tiny bird buzz,\nSpied her nest built of fuzz:\nArchilochus-with-no-ruby gal.", "id": 12923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Since Marquita's sick thyroid's a quitter,\nSwollen up like an Eve's-apple fritter,\nZap it dead! What intrigue!\nShe needs antifatigue:\nBottoms-up! She'll get better...or bitter?", "id": 12924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Take a mammal, for instance, the badger;\nIts nose is shaped, mostly, by agger\nNasi.   This ridge,\nWhen it's fused, forms a bridge,\nUsed in sniffing its prey\u2014the old cadger!", "id": 12925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In Boston Town, back in the day,\nArthur Gilman filled in the Back Bay.\nHe said, \"Won't it be grand\nWhen this swamp's turned to land?\nWe can shop... grab a bite... catch a play...\"", "id": 12926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When I learned what was in my andouille,\nI spat it right out with \"Patooey!\"\nThey make it with dreck\u2014\nBits of stomach and neck.\nIt's a Cajun delight; I say, \"Phooey!\"", "id": 12927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The prince took his court to the zoo,\nWhere he tried to impress the whole crew\nBy annoying a lion,\nWho ate the young scion.\nHe died asininely\u2014boo hoo!", "id": 12928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Electron spectroscopy shows\nJust which atoms are present. Suppose\nThat this fellow, Auger,\nHated chemistry \u2014 they\nWould have named it for whom? Heaven knows.", "id": 12929, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Acephalocheiria means\nYou're unlikely to join the marines.\nIt is also a loss\nTo your skill at lacrosse\nAnd enjoyment of ethnic cuisines.", "id": 12930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "My birthday has come, whoop-dee-doo,\nAnd now I'm a hundred and two.\nThey'll give me balloons\nAnd a bowl of stewed prunes,\nThen I might fall asleep on the loo.", "id": 12931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "In the delicatessen, Herr Sam,\nOnce as kosher as Passover lamb,\nMakes a handwritten sign\nThat says \"Three ninety-nine\nFor a half-pound of Black Forest ham\".", "id": 12932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"The conductive adhesive I chose\nIs the kind having current that flows\nIn a single direction.\nI'd call my selection,\nWell, anisotropic!\" he crows.", "id": 12933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Ronnie Barker, comedian, played\nAn old crook doing porridge in Slade\nAnd a stuttering, sex-\nObsessed grocer.  His specs\nMade an image that simply won't fade.", "id": 12934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "In Jersey, both master and wench,\nWhen speaking, would use Anglo-French\nA long time ago.\nToday, it's not so\nMuch in use, though a must on the bench.", "id": 12935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The apostrophe's a much abused mark\nOf which greengrocers stay in the dark.\nThey sell leek's and potatoe's\nPea's, bean's and tomato's.\nAt least their consistency's stark.", "id": 12936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When you're looking for lodgings take care,\nFor they say \"let the buyer beware\";\nAnd a \"smart bijou flat\"\nMeans just one thing, and that\nIs, you can't swing a cat when you're there.", "id": 12938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The figures all show a sharp dip.\nThe economy's sunk like a ship.\nIt's done a Titanic,\nBut try not to panic;\nAfter all this is only a blip.", "id": 12939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There are lots of good things I can eat,\nThough I like my food spicy, not sweet.\nI'm filled with delight\nIf my dish has some bite,\nSo a chilli or curry's a treat.", "id": 12940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The auditions were hard work indeed.\nMost applicants failed \u2014 we agreed!\nThey could sing, they could dance,\nSo they had little chance\nFor our boy band \u2014 just not what we need.", "id": 12941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I was struck by a feeling of gloom\nAs I entered my bed-sitting room.\nFor the rent I was paying,\nI wished I weren't staying\nIn a cupboard designed for a broom.", "id": 12942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Balmoral's the Queen's Scottish place,\nOr a boot in which Highlanders pace,\nOr a hat with no brim\nAnd a plume for its trim,\nOr a skirt made of linen, not lace.", "id": 12943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A blonde who was wearing a maxi\nToured galaxies strapped to a taxi.\nHer trips were so toxic,\nShe came home anoxic:\nAnemic\u2014complexion too waxy.", "id": 12944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since his family's fatal disaster,\nOrphan Jack has acquired a new master.\nHe shall earn for his pay\nJust a penny a day,\nAll because he can't work any faster.", "id": 12945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "You think you're in bad shape, in a mess?\nLook at me\u2014jess a fright, mo' o' less,\nLike ta sump'n' the cat\nDone drug in. Sad fact's that\nI'm bedraggled; I'm soaked and in stress.", "id": 12946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "An albino is someone whose hair\nIs as white as a polar bear's lair.\nHe lacks pigment, I think,\nAs his eyes are pale pink,\nAnd his skin's really milky and fair.", "id": 12947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "If placenta and womb pull apart,\nAbruptio placentae can start:\nPoor oxygenation\nIn third term gestation\nDrops fetal O2 off the chart.", "id": 12948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "She's bacteriologically gifted.\nShe peers into her microscope, shifted\nTo low power, scanning,\nThen high power, panning,\nAs spirochetes swiftly are sifted.", "id": 12949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Baby Jane's going home soon, mayhap,\nIn a sweater and booties and cap\nMrs. Undhru has made\nIn an apricot shade,\nAs a heat-keeping wintertime wrap.", "id": 12950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Stephen King writes of horror and pain\nIn this city where folks must deplane\nFor \"No Fly\" listed names,\nOr behavior that shames:\nThis is Bangor, where terror meets Maine.", "id": 12951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Tucked away in the room for a guest\nIs a folded-star quilt, her request\nTo make Sweet Sixteen sweet.\nTen years later, complete,\nSandra treasures her quilt, kept for best.", "id": 12952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Go to sleep, baby Jane, you bemuse\nWeary Mommy with faces you choose.\nWhile our kangaroo care\nJoins us, bare skin to bare,\nI will sing you a cradle berceuse.", "id": 12953, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A piratical seabird, the bonxie,\nBehaves like some thug from the Bronx: he\nSteals lunches of sparids\nFrom hard-fishing larids\u2014\nHis cousins!  Great skua's a cronk, see?", "id": 12954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"His dad sat there, stone-still, asking, 'Why\nDid my named-for-me boy have to die?\nHe was broke and depressed;\nToo much crack did the rest.'\nTell me, Mom, have you seen a rock cry?\"", "id": 12955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Hani Shamat and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When it's annualized, it is clear\nThat your pay for the year is austere.\nIf you find that your wage\nAlways puts you in rage,\nJust relax and go open a beer.", "id": 12956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You have come to my bar Christmas Eve;\nMy liqueur's almost gone, so I grieve.\nWhen you go, not a lot'll\nBe left in the bottle\u2014\nMy absinth you took without leave!", "id": 12957, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are seraphim, cherubim, thrones,\nPrincipalities, virtues, and drones,*\nDominions on towers,\nArchangels, and powers\nIn heaven's angelical zones.", "id": 12958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Antigua and ... what is that \"B\" word?\nBarbuda: these islands are Leeward,\nTogether comprising\n(You're right in surmising)\nA country where everything's seaward.", "id": 12959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In today's generation, you're punk'd;\nBut a Scotsman, of old, was begunked\nIf a trickster deceived him,\nBefooled him and peeved him.\nToday, though, begunked is defunct.", "id": 12960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "There's a gas we could not live without;\nWe inhale it, as flies do, and trout.\nA girl's golden hair\nMay float in the air.\nN2, O2: that's all, just about.", "id": 12961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My new senator (he's still probationary)\nHasn't written new laws, remains stationary.\nSince prices are high,\nI won't vote for this guy\nTill his platform is anti-inflationary.", "id": 12962, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "Julie Andrews arriving by brolly\nWas enough to make anyone jolly,\nBut for me, No.1\nWas her musical nun\nWho appeared every Christmas like holly.", "id": 12963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "The Artificer said, \"Did you see me\nCreate the whole world? Ain't that dreamy?\"\nBut His capital A\nUp and vanished one day;\nNow he's just a mechanic in REME.", "id": 12964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "On the night of my blue-blooded feast,\nQuickbeam Castle is strictly policed,\nSo that Cholmondeley and Glamis\nNeedn't fritter their charms\nOn some common-as-muck arriviste.", "id": 12965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Classic big-band and swing, in the main,\nAre infectious; resistance is vain.\nThe music compels us\nWhen Ellington tells us\nTo hurry and \"Take the A Train\".", "id": 12966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Splenic tissue, they say, makes me mean.\nWhen I tune up and make a big scene,\nEach extraneous wad\nUps the stakes in my bod\u2014\nI must vent each accessory spleen.", "id": 12967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Mr Bach, you may name your own price\nIf the music you write will suffice\nTo put boredom to flight\nThrough the long hours of night,\nAs an antineuritic device.", "id": 12968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The primate who first walked bipedally\nPerhaps did not do so too steadily.\nUsing two legs, not four,\nBrought rewards by the score,\nAnd so now we all do it quite readily.", "id": 12969, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "In my autumn years, I have become\nQuite reclusive, curmudgeonly, glum.\n  As I age into winter,\n  Will passion just splinter?\nI fear I'll retreat and grow numb.", "id": 12970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What to say when Hawaiians go by,\nWhen aloha's \"hello\" and \"goodbye\"?\nDon't you worry, 'cause they\nWill respond either way;\nThe distinction just doesn't apply.", "id": 12971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Please back-check my order.\"  The clerk,\nWho it seems was not suited to work,\nAnd was also quite cocky,\nThought I'd spoken of hockey,\nPut his skates on, and left.  What a jerk!", "id": 12972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When they stormed the Bastille, the ecstatic\nCanaille were ferocious, fanatic,\nBut the French Revolution\nMade a great contribution:\nIts theme, antiaristocratic.", "id": 12973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In planning our wedding, Joe's idle,\nThinking all the expense should be bridal.\nBut I fear with a chill\nIf my dad foots the bill,\nThen the banquet will be barmecidal.", "id": 12974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His New England estate is baronial;\nHis intentions, it seems, matrimonial,\nBut he makes the demand\nShe do housework by hand\nIn the style of the goodwife colonial.", "id": 12975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My neighbor just loved kiddie porn.\nHe would watch it from midnight to morn.\nThough surprised when arrested\nHe didn't protest it,\nBut wished that he'd never been born.", "id": 12976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Near Sudan, on the banks of the Nile,\nAbu Simbel's a temple with style;\nOut of Aswan's long reach,\nWith a view of the beach,\nNimble Rameses flashes a smile.", "id": 12977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "As a tot, I tooled 'round  on a trike;\nNow grown-up, I can zoom on my bike.\nThrough stalled traffic I zip\nAt a quick speedy clip\u2014\nNeed no gas and I don't have to hike.", "id": 12978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's named azure, a sort of a blue,\nVery beautiful, fresh as the new\nMorning sky on a day\nWhen the world's A-OK,\nWith the prospect of limitless view.", "id": 12979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To be lonely's pathetic and sad.\nSo alone can be bad and a tad\nOf a bore. It's a bane\nAnd can drive one insane,\nYet the quiet's not totally bad.", "id": 12980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When she's riled, she just shoots from the hip,\nWon't take no for an answer, nor lip.\nHer tough attitude shows\nIn her voice, stance and clothes\u2014\nFor her, bird is just something you flip.", "id": 12981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "This advisory says, \"Look ahead\";\nIt's a heads-up for what may be red\nAlert. So beware\n(Or ignore, if you dare...\nBut you may wind up sorry or dead).", "id": 12982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "This whole project is bleeping absurd,\nTo be trying to find the right word\nSo the damn bleeping meter\nAnd rhyme come out neater.\nAlso bleep that damn editor nerd!", "id": 12983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's ambiguous, murky, not clear\u2014\nCan't he say if it's far or it's near?\nIt's not black, neither white,\nOnly gray, but not quite.\n(Any nuance makes Dubbaya jeer.)", "id": 12984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To be thought by the public artistic,\nYour work should look quite realistic.\nThough art's always evolving,\nIt seems it's dissolving\nTo a blur that some find solipsistic.", "id": 12985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "An amen: it'll come at the close\nOf all prayers, or be uttered by those\nWho are making a point,\nEmphasized to anoint\nAn opinion that everyone knows.", "id": 12987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To concoct a banana split: cut\nFruit in half (ice cream filling the rut),\nPile on cream whipped up swell,\nDrizzle syrup as well,\nAnd then top with a cherry or nut!!", "id": 12988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The Bard has bewept and bemoaned\nA sad state, yet sweet William has honed\nHis huge talent and made\nA great sonnet. He's laid\nHis heart bare, his emotions he's loaned.", "id": 12989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Gonna be (chomp, chomp) all I can be,\nMy huge appetite (mm, mm!) is me!\nI eat and I've et\nAnd still eatin'. I'm get-\ntin' to two-ninety-two, mebbe three?", "id": 12990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bad luck's not when you're shot but just grazed\nAnd a tree takes your slug. God be praised!\nBad luck is \u2014 written large \u2014\nWhen your dynamite charge\nBlasts it free and you're dead more than dazed.", "id": 12992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A proud Sikh with the world's longest beard\nCried, \"Good Lord! It has half-disappeared!\"\nAs the mower kept ripping\nThe hair it was gripping,\nThe runner-up chortled and cheered.", "id": 12993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "She opened a trendy boutique\nFilled with fashions expensive and chic.\nHer venture's location?\nAn outback sheep station\n(No sales for the hundredth straight week).", "id": 12994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Lost my specs; sprained my knee; woe is me.\nTook Aleve, my NSAID.\nBut then, too, of that hue,\nI'm afraid, was the \"blue\nLittle pill.\" Now I find I can't pee.", "id": 12996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"For three sins of Ammon, or four,\"\nSaid the Lord, \"I won't take any more\u2014\nTheir methods were gory\nTo gain territory;\nI'll burn down their town during war.\"", "id": 12997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a noun used throughout the U.S.\nWhen it's failure we wish to express.\nWe say bomb, but away\n'Cross the pond, the U.K.\nUses bomb to mean \"smashing success!\"", "id": 12998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Trading votes on the House floor was why\nDick Gephardt was heard to decry:\n\"You misunderstand,\nNo revenge is at hand.\nI just wanted an aye for an aye.\"", "id": 13000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So you think you're some master detective?\nYour findings are clearly defective!\nBefore you accuse,\nWalk a mile in my shoes.\nIt'll give you a different perspective.", "id": 13001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Abraham Lincoln Brigade\nCame to Spanish Republicans' aid.\nVolunteers, they would fight\nAgainst fascism's might.\nWhen they lost, we still held a parade.", "id": 13002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An A-team's superior, though that\nWon't mean that they won't have to show that.\nIt's not just a name;\nThey're deserving of fame.\nI pity the fool who don't know that!", "id": 13003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This project will set minds agog.\nOf all reference books, we'll be top dog!\nOur great-grandkids will state,\nOn some far future date,\n\"They did it, and they did it whole hog!\"", "id": 13004, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Tony Knuckles,\" an underworld hood,\nNamed a hit but was misunderstood.\nAnd the victim?  Big Moe,\nTony's partner, and so\nI suppose it was all to the good.", "id": 13006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In his book, titled Blackhead, one sees\nThat he calls it a \"fowl disease.\"\nI said, \"Don't you mean 'foul'?\"\nBut this caused him to howl:\n\"Won't you spare me your ignorance, please!\"", "id": 13007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Barefoot pilgrim's a slang term for folk\nWho, through foolish investments, go broke.\nThey lose all of their dough\nBuying high, selling low.\nAnd their status on Wall Street?  A joke.", "id": 13008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bagoong is a shrimp paste that sells\nVery well in the East but repels\nConnoisseurs from the West\nWho have often expressed\nHow completely repulsive it smells.", "id": 13009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To acierate iron, I feel,\nIs just not that perplexing a deal.\nCarbon first, then begin\nTo stir other things in.\nPresto Change-O!  It turns into steel!", "id": 13010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My lover and I are not saints,\nAnd we live our lives free of restraints.\nOur arrangement says we\nTo see others are free,\nSo we're happy and have no complaints.", "id": 13012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acidity, textbooks will teach,\nIs a bi-purpose word, and with each\nThe meaning consists\nOf what acid exists,\nIn a liquid or else in one's speech.", "id": 13013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm the head of the board of trustees\nAt a dairy.  My main expertise\nIs production of this:\nWhopping great wheels of Swiss.\nIt's no wonder I'm called \"The Big Cheese.\"", "id": 13014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a fan club, of which I am prez,\nSeeking fans of the great Joan Baez.\nAs a folksinger we've a\nGreat love for this diva,\nNo matter what anyone says!", "id": 13015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We met in a dark honky-tonk.\nOn a chain, she was wearing an ankh.\nI told her its history\nIs shrouded in mystery:\n\"You've the ancient Egyptians to thonk.\"", "id": 13016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In To Have and Have Not, her debut,\nLauren dazzled the cast and the crew.\nBy Key Largo she'd moved\nInto stardom and proved\nThere was nothing Bacall couldn't do.", "id": 13017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Absolutism: this is a theory\nOf which patriots tend to be leery.\nIt says nothing is greater\nThan a hard-nosed dictator\nIn a world that is dark and austere-y.", "id": 13018, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The place is in trouble, no wonder.\nIt seems like a terrible blunder.\nSince dancing's a no-no,\n\"St. Mary's a-Go-Go\"\nIs a convent that'll prob'ly go under.", "id": 13019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acceleration makes rates proceed faster,\nAs when trained in less time by a master\n'Cause you're suitably bright,\nThough when driving at night\nIt's a way of inviting disaster.", "id": 13020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The philosophy?  Somewhat absurd.\nMany photos (mere padding?) were blurred.\nThere's no question, however,\nThe author was clever.\nRichard Bach made a buck on a bird.", "id": 13021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Peter Benchley earned tons of applause\nWith a novel that gave us all pause.\nHe made grown men and women\nGrow leery of swimmin'.\nThe book (and the screenplay) was Jaws.", "id": 13022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Let me state here with no ambiguity,\nWhat we need is to have assiduity.\nWe must guard against fear,\nNot just this month or year,\nBut forever and in perpetuity.", "id": 13023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The advice ante cibum conceals\nWhat a knowledge of Latin reveals.\nWith your pills, this is key:\nThe Rx says a.c.?\nThat's a shorthand for \"take before meals.\"", "id": 13024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For a bluetick, my dog, though real fast,\nAs a tracker was sadly miscast.\nSince he thought it a race,\nHe would pick up the pace\nTill all foxes and coons had been passed.", "id": 13025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He'd been caged like some dangerous beast,\nBut I got Father Michael released.\nThe cops were alarmed\nThat this man would be armed.\n\"A biretta's a hat for a priest!!\"", "id": 13027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All the mice had proclaimed, \"Bell the cat,\nSo we'll know where that bastard is at!\nWhat a plan!  Let's pursue it!\nWho'll step up to do it?\"\n(...It was here that the project fell flat.)", "id": 13028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While the aster, a \"star\" among flora,\nIs known for its lighthearted aura,\nIt won't do cute tricks\nIn those black-and-white flicks\nChasing bad guys with Nick and with Nora.", "id": 13029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So I sez to this guy, this abscotchalater,\n\"The police will inform you, 'We gotcha!' later.\nDucking cops is your game,\nBut a show by that name\nIs exactly where I'm gonna watch ya later!\"", "id": 13030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When a guy makes a pass prematurely,\nIt's a lock he'll be striking out early:\n\"Your looks are incredible!\nSo, Gail, are you beddable?\nWho's this?  ...Oh!  Your life partner Shirley!!\"", "id": 13031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a church trying hard to subdue\nAny non-church-approved point of view.\nThey all show an affinity\nFor mindless bovinity.\nInstead of \"Amen,\" they should moo!", "id": 13032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He said he was feeling alright\nBut then wrote it, which started the fight.\nHis wife said, \"Now John,\nThat's just wrong!\"  Though, hang on\u2014\nAs debates go, it's not black and white.", "id": 13034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The aliens came with a plan\nAnd a book that was called To Serve Man.\nLloyd Bochner, deceived,\nSome bad news then received:\n\"It's a cookbook!\"  (Next stop: a big pan.)", "id": 13035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abrazitic's a word (this is no hype)\nWith a meaning sublime (it is so ripe).\nIt's defined, I am guessing,\nAs \"not effervescing\nWhen melted before the damn blowpipe.\"", "id": 13036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Like a math teacher understands Euclid,\nRick knew Ilsa as only a few did.\n\"This damn triangle's wrong,\"\nArgued Bogey, \"So long!\"\nBut then added, \"Here's lookin' at you, kid.\"", "id": 13037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The name Blondie?  You've got to be wary\nSince two meanings that title can carry:\nIt's the comic strip life\nOf D. Bumstead and wife,\nOr a pop group that stars Deborah Harry.", "id": 13038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So you tried to get drunk but you failed?\nJust relax.  Booze can now be inhaled.\nThere's an alcohol spray\nLike a gas, but I say\nIts inventor deserves to be jailed.", "id": 13039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I confess I'm a radio dweeb,\nWhich is why it's an honor, sahib,\nJust to work at,\" said he,\n\"The esteemed BBC,\nOr as locals all say, 'at the Beeb'.\"", "id": 13040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An advance man's prime job: intervene\nIn the weeks 'fore his candidate's seen.\nHe grapples with airlines,\nDiminishing hairlines,\nAnd every detail in between.", "id": 13041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We've an amitate, Becky and me.\nShe's my niece; I'm her aunt.  We agree\nWhile her father (my brother)\nCan't act as her mother,\nIt's a role that suits me to a T.", "id": 13042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Dom, the Mafia don, I offended\nWhen his daughter's Big Day I attended.\n\"Which one is the groom?\"\nBada-bing!  Bada-boom!\nMy funeral, they tell me, was splendid.", "id": 13043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's oft euphemistically said,\n\"He's an angel,\" but don't be misled.\nPlease don't think me unkind,\nBut let's all keep in mind:\nThat's a soldier, once living, now dead.", "id": 13045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For a joke that is sure to offend her,\nI offer this childish contender:\n\"What is green and goes 'Whirrr'\nAt a hundred miles per?\"\nAnd the answer?  \"A frog in a blender!\"", "id": 13047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"The man,\" she declared, \"that I seek\nWill make upwards of two grand a week,\nHave conservative views,\nAnd will look like Tom Cruise.\"\n(I would say that my prospects are bleak.)", "id": 13048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Chaiwallah, please don't think me rude,\nBut I feel that I have to intrude.\nIf your bangsring or three\nAre all up in a tree,\nThen I'd say it's the tree that is shrewd.", "id": 13050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In writing a verse, Nigel stated,\n\"On meaning I'm often fixated.\nI notice that aerosol\nRhymes well with parasol.\nToo bad that they're so unrelated.\"", "id": 13051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When it comes to my cash, I'm unswayable.\nThere's no dirty trick that's unplayable.\nThe money I'm due\nI want right now from you,\nBut I'm slow to remit accounts payable.", "id": 13052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since the 50s are my demographic,\nI avoid watching films pornographic.\nThey are bad for my heart\nSay those tests, for a start,\nThat are angiocardiographic.", "id": 13053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Accept has two meanings to sport:\nYou accept a new theory, in short,\nWhere it means \"to believe\";\nOr \"officially receive,\"\nWhen accepting the mayor's report.", "id": 13054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I'm putting you now on alert!\"\nI had to, at long last, assert.\n\"You've taken your fill\nOf three steaks from my grill,\nBut you're not getting squat for dessert!\"", "id": 13055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While some people live for biology,\nMany others find God in theology.\nBut if you've got a jones\nFor exhuming old bones,\nThen you just cannot beat anthropology.", "id": 13056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the '60s, Don Adams had fun.\nHe was 86, carried a gun,\nHad a phone in his shoe;\nYet today it is true:\nWouldja believe it?  He's just 81!", "id": 13057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "That investment you made over-earns?\nBrokers call this abnormal returns.\nNo, it doesn't relate\nTo that burger you ate,\nWhen you belch just a bit and it burns.", "id": 13058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I'm told that I'm stubborn. Some hope\nThat I'll be less inflexible. Nope,\nNo can do. Here's the drill:\nJust consider my will\nTo be adamantean. Then cope.", "id": 13059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "An approval at state boards of nursing\nTakes a careful review and conversing\nOn the health of a school.\nSo approval is cool,\nBut probation?  The dean will be cursing!", "id": 13060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "The prince practiced putting on hose,\nBut they kept ending up in his nose.\nHe's apraxic: his brain\nMakes mistakes, but he's sane.\nHe'll be dressed, I suppose, by the pros.", "id": 13061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My maw and my paw were emphatic:\nOur kinfolk were \"A-ristocratic\".\nBut if Paw's Aunty Sadie\nWas \"Duchess\" or \"Lady\",\nThen elephants fly in my attic!", "id": 13062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am never depressed when it's light,\nBut I suffer from blues in the night.\nWhen it's twilight I frown;\nLike the sun, I go down.\nWould a sunlamp be helpful? It might.", "id": 13063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bernard M. Baruch, presidential\nAdvisor, gave aid quite essential\nTo the country's finance,\nWhich he helped to advance.\nHis ideas remain consequential.", "id": 13065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An Evangelist once turned up dead\nIn a region of China gone Red.\nRobert Welch formed a troop:\nUltra-right-wing, this group;\nAnti-Red are the Birchers.  Nuff said.", "id": 13066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "The word armistice means a \"cease-fire\",\nA truce which, alas, will expire\nIf one party fights\nFor dead-even rights\nAnd the other disdains that desire.", "id": 13067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The aristocrat's so debonair.\nNothing ruffles his cool savoir-faire.\nBut my senses are reeling \u2014\nThe view's unappealing\nUp a nose stuck so high in the air.", "id": 13069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Al-Qaeda's a terrorist corps.\n9/11 made Bush declare war.\nBut when Bush's attack\nWas aimed at Iraq\nDid it even his father's old score?", "id": 13070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Abracadabra and presto \u2014\nI keep my cards close to my vesto.\nI'm distracting your focus\nWith more hocus-pocus;\nYou'll trust any thing I suggesto.", "id": 13071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "No matter how often I scour\nFor hour upon torturous hour,\nThis bathybial scum\nJust continues to come\nIn my bathroom sink, toilet and shower!", "id": 13072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The Czechs who inhabit Bohemia,\t\nThe offbeat who love academia,\nSouls unconventional\n(Multi-dimensional),\nGypsies, and artists extremia.", "id": 13073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Prince Arki was lying in state\nOn account of a poodle he ate.\nHe choked on a bone!\nSo they called on the phone,\nBut the archiater was too late.", "id": 13074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "How twisted is he whose distillery\nIs devised as a seething bacillary\nFor the breeding of bugs,\nWhich resist all known drugs,\nAnd make toxins for use in artillery.", "id": 13075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "We old hippies (our parents' despair)\nLike to think that our era was rare.\nOur trousers' flared bagginess\nWas matched by the shagginess\nOf beards and moustaches and hair.", "id": 13076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "She eats insects and bends like a willow.\nHer tail turns me on, what a thrill oh!\n\"Could you hold it up straight\nSince we're going to mate,\nYou impenetrable armadillo?\"", "id": 13077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "For our trip to the Moon, as we planned it,\nWe thought, \"We'll be seen when we land it,\nIf our rocket (pale rose)\nHas some bands round its nose.\"\nSo we banded together to band it.", "id": 13078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A female bald eagle chased Hester.\nDon't ask why. It's unclear what possessed her.\nBeak, talons and wings\nDid some terrible things\nTo the girl, whose grim injuries fester!", "id": 13079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "One thing is most certainly clear:\nMiss Austin's new dress was not dear.\nA robe of that ilk\nShould be made of fine silk.\nHers is merely bariga I fear.", "id": 13080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I thought I was being maligned,\nBut my tutor was just being kind\nWhen he told me, \"Work harder\nTo master bastarda\u2014\nYour script must be clearly defined.\"", "id": 13081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My love for Carlene was complete.\nWe went diving, a honeymoon treat,\nWhen alas, her humungous\nImplanted bazungas\nImploded at seventy feet.", "id": 13082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As I wandered throughout Grimley Moer\nChanting metrical verse, door-to-door,\nMy efforts balladic\nAnd clothing, nomadic,\nMade departure as swift as 'twas sore.", "id": 13083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "In my home if you're hungry by three,\nConvention says wait, but feel free:\n(When the munchies attack)\nHave a slice of barm brack,\nWash it down with a strong cup of tea.", "id": 13084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I shouted, \"Bang on,\" don't you know,\nWhen I shot the damn drummer, although\nI would say to the Law,\n\"What a dreary old bore.\nHe banged on, so he just had to go.\"", "id": 13085, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My sinister cellar resounds\nWith the baying of Baskerville hounds.\nCome lightning and flash!\nI've got monsters to mash!\nI've got ghouls to engorge on my grounds!", "id": 13086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A spherical lady from Dorset\nWhose frock wouldn't fit couldn't force it.\nDepressed by the tales\nThat she read on her scales,\nShe said, \"Thanks to baleen, I've a corset.\"", "id": 13087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "To the sound of the Westminster chimes\nHe read: \"SHOCK! HORROR! MINISTER'S CRIMES!\"\nWhile he skipped to Page Three\nHe quipped, \"Though an M.P,\nWe must all keep abreast of the times.\"", "id": 13088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I once had a girlfriend called Phyllis,\nWho was fine till she ate aspergillus.\nThis fungus in cheese\nWas what caused her disease.\nSo much of our food seems to kill us.", "id": 13089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "\"The Bible is one of those places\nWhere little-known people's disgraces\nAre lurid, and drink\nOften causes a stink,\"\nSo says Alemeth, covering his traces.", "id": 13090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A notorious tyrant was Idi\nAmin. You can only ask, \"Did he\nTreat Uganda so well\nWhen he made it a hell?\nWas he psycho, deluded, or giddy?\"", "id": 13091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Say your final exam finds you ill.\nShould you sip on some broth? Take a pill?\nYou must do something, stat.\nGet an aegrotat. That\nLittle doctor's note just fills the bill.", "id": 13092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "The crowd formed a massive processional;\nThe new King took the throne. The accessional\n  Moment was marred\n  By a whisper regard-\ning the death of his dad by professional.", "id": 13093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Normal codes of behaviour must bend,\nSince this drought shows no sign of an end.\nHere's new rule number one:\nTo stay clean, but have fun,\nSave on water, and bath with a friend!", "id": 13094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The altimetry gauge in my suit\nHelps me measure, so none can refute,\nJust how high in the sky,\nAlthough falling, am I.\nIt's a shame I've forgotten my chute.", "id": 13095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So tiny and cute, antechinus!\nIf we look really close, we can fin' us\nThe teensiest pouch,\nWith her joey, an'... ouch!\nAn' he kin'a snuck up from behin' us.", "id": 13096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I'm feeling alone, on my own,\nIn my life there's a bone that I'm thrown.\nMeet my good friend, the banker.\nEach day I must thank her \u2014\nShe never will leave me a loan.", "id": 13097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Take a look at this wonderful piece!\nIts value can only increase,\nFor this art that I'm seein'\nIs surely Aegean\u2014\nIt's part of the glory of Greece.", "id": 13098, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Indian's worthy of praising\nFor bountiful crops he is raising.\nWhat's grown from the ground\nWill impress and astound.\nWhen he's raising his corn he's amazing.", "id": 13099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I need bittersweet chocolate today;\nNothing else will my sweet tooth allay.\nLow in sugar, some cocoa,\nMy taste buds go loco \u2014\nDon't care what the scale says I weigh.", "id": 13100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A museum, some paintings, a start:\nSo for culture he's doing his part.\nDon't be looking askance\nWhen he pulls down his pants \u2014\nHe's exposing himself to some art!", "id": 13101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We use beeswax in candles that glow\nAnd in crayons lined up in a row.\nAnd bees' secretive facts\nFor secreting this wax?\nThey're none of your beeswax, you know.", "id": 13102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Old Harry was very contrary;\nHe lived near the sky in an ayrie.\nTo ascend to his lair,\nYou'd wend high in the air.\nPlease be wary; the footpath is scary.", "id": 13103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Amidah's said in silent devotion,\nWhile standing, with knee-bending motion.\nMay your prayers be sincere,\nAlthough no one can hear.\nSo ad lib it if you've got the notion.", "id": 13104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Mighty Ajax! We once raised our drink;\nTo that fleet-footed hero we'd clink.\nAncient Greeks were adoring.\nToday you're just boring:\nYou clean out the toilet and sink.", "id": 13105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Surrealists, like Dal\u00ec, revered\nThe appearance of normal gone weird.\nMelting clocks, apple face,\nWalking cubes, rose in space!\nFloating pipe?  \"No, it's not,\" Magritte jeered.", "id": 13106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The anatomist said, \"Thank you, dear.\nWhen I look from the front or the rear\nAt your body all day,\nIt's a wonderful way\nTo excel in my chosen career.\"", "id": 13107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Wondered Aalto, \"What makes buildings tick?\nCan I curve them and still employ brick?\nWill they merge with the trees\nIf I build as I please?\"\nThat illusion would be quite a trick.", "id": 13108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "My name is an alias. Whether\nI like being free of the tether\nA real name can be\nIs what I mean to see,\nFor I'm somebody else altogether.", "id": 13109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "If one's blebby, one's covered with blisters,\nLike the time when my mom and her sisters\nLay tanning one day\nIn some nettles and hay\nWithout sunscreen, inhalers, or misters.", "id": 13110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Amadelphous is, per Dr. Deming,\nWomen sewing in bees, deftly hemming,\nOr the folk of a tribe.\nIt can also describe\nLemming loyally following lemming.", "id": 13111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "With six hundred soldiers to man it,\nThe battle could start; King Saul ran it\u2014\nAhiah, the priest,\nWore an ephod (at least)\u2014\nAnd a shared pomegranate began it.", "id": 13112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Imagine my pain and distress\nAt the rip in this no-return dress.\nNot a bargainer, I\nPaid the asking price (sigh).\nI had bargained for more...and got less.", "id": 13113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Abigail, \"Nabal's a knave;\nHe has never known how to behave.\"\n\"There'll be no one at all\nWho can piss at a wall\nWhen I'm through with the ingrate,\" said Dave.", "id": 13114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Fierce white-bearded God\u2014how embedded\nHe is in our brains (and how dreaded)!\nThe Ancient of Days\nIs sure set in His ways\u2014\nAfter Dan wrote Him down, He homesteaded.", "id": 13115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "In your care of me, goodness amounts:\nI abound; fullness gushes in founts.\nGod is pleased with your gift\u2014\nGosh, it gave me a lift!\nIt abounds to your Godly accounts.", "id": 13116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Was Ashpenaz not Herculean?\nHis mentoring merits a paean:\nMishael, Hananiah,\nDaniel, Azariah\u2014\nHe taught these Judaeans Chaldean.", "id": 13117, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Saul begged to be slain by his steward,\nWho found the request too untoward.\nBut the poor armourbearer,\nKabobbed by sheer terror,\nSoon fell and with Saul was self-skewered.", "id": 13118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Baal-hanan made gracious demands\nOf the good Lord who gave mankind lands.\nDown below in low plains\nHe prayed mainly for rains\nFor his olive and sycamore stands.", "id": 13119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Using apholate spells the demise\nOf some insects, like termites and flies.\nIt won't murder these pests,\nBut it quickly arrests\nReproduction\u2014no eggs can arise.", "id": 13120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "What's the heaviest tournament going?\nThe basho, where wrestlers are showing\nWith ritual grace,\nOver fifteen days' space,\nWho's the master of shoving and throwing.", "id": 13121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Arecoline's used by your vet\nTo eradicate worms in your pet.\nIt's in betel nuts, too;\nYou can give them a chew\nFor a high that you'll never forget.", "id": 13122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Amphichiral pertains to a knot\n(And to candidates bought for a baht)\nWhich can morph its complexion\nTo its mirror reflection\nAnd be opposites, all in one spot.", "id": 13123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Stars' spectra show shadows in series;\nHence Balmer directed his queries\nTo the spacing of lines\nCaused when hydrogen shines,\nWhich led Doctor Bohr to his theories.", "id": 13124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "From arterial plaque, Alan swoons\nAlmost daily.  His health is in ruins.\nThere's angioplasty,\nBut he finds it quite nasty\u2014\nHe's afraid of those tiny balloons.", "id": 13125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The gymnast who burst on the scene\nLong before she was even a teen\nIs the star (mythopoeic?)\nWho's amenorrheic,\nWith menses as spare as she's lean.", "id": 13126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and mephistopheles", "limerick": "A. baumannii threatens to fill us:\nIt's a common aerobic bacillus.\nSince available drugs\nCannot weaken these bugs,\nJust a lungful could possibly kill us.", "id": 13127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "To aim means to point or direct\nA rifle or gun with respect,\nSo you never permit\nThe wrong things to be hit,\nWhich occurs if your aim's not correct.", "id": 13128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach and PGS", "limerick": "If you notice a house, door ajar,\nAnd glimpse guns in the hallway, not far,\nIn the driveway's the reason:\nIt's deer-hunting season\u2014\nA twelve-pointer's strapped to the car.", "id": 13129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If your BP, too high, is at fault,\nEating fat and fried food you must halt.\nAre you stressed? Wear no frown.\nDo you smoke? Cut it down.\nStart a diet \u2014 and eat much less salt.", "id": 13130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "What a strange-looking hammer we saw\u2014\nThe peen is a ball, not a claw.\nIf you're pulling out nails,\nThen it hopelessly fails,\nBut for banging in rivets, it's braw!", "id": 13131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Aquariums: big glass containers\nWith fish kept in, mainly the gainers\nIn a food-catching test\u2014\nThose coming out best\u2014\nWho became the dear pets of their trainers.", "id": 13132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Five card draw was a tempting new game,\nBut my opening bet was a shame.\n\"Ante up,\" dealer sighed.\n\"All my chips!\" I replied,\nThe casino's new favorite dame.", "id": 13133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Thanksgiving delights all aggrate,\nWith blessings and food on each plate.\nSo to each I will say,\nHave a wonderful day.\nI hope that your turkey's first-rate!", "id": 13134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Carousing, a young college grad\nGot cuffed for a bar fight he had.\nHe was yanked from the alehouse\nTo a tank in the jailhouse,\nAnd his call from a cell phone roused Dad.", "id": 13135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Need to look into engines and more,\nAll without disassembly and chore?\nThere's a neat optic widget\nThe size of your digit:\nThe borescope!  Now go and explore!", "id": 13136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The baseheads who live on my block\nWill be high by eleven o'clock\nEvery morning. The fumes\nOf cocaine spell their dooms;\nThey can't fathom that crack is a crock.", "id": 13137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Most Orthodox monks can relate\nTo the teachings of Basil the Great.\nFrom Greece to St. Pete,\nAll the monks on the street\nToe, like Basil, the narrow and straight.", "id": 13138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Abreuvoir is the name of the zone\nWhere the mortar connects stone to stone\nWhen you're building a wall,\nLike the ones in my hall\nThat lead up to my white china throne.", "id": 13139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Let no one say later, 'You blew it,'\"\nSaid Abishai, \"Look\u2014nothing to it.\nNo need to strike twice,\nSaul is dead with one slice.\"\nNoble David said, \"No, let God do it.\"", "id": 13140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "O my gosh! What to do? It's the end\nOf the world! We can't even depend\nOn the army to steer\nA huge asteroid clear,\nSo goodbye dearest Earth, my old friend!", "id": 13141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I'm in heaven and walking on air,\nOn cloud nine. This is bliss, it's so rare\u2014\nIt's pure joy, what a lift!\nWhat's that stuff we just sniffed?\nAmyl nitrite? Got any to spare?", "id": 13142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Said the cellist to first violin,\n\"With but four, our quartet's sounding thin.\nLet's both sneak out the back\nAnd drum up a fifth hack,\nAnd then, basely, we'll stick the bloke in.\"", "id": 13143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Any anti-American act\nIs an act where my country's attacked.\n But the word's use, in chief,\n Is to label beliefs\nThat the government toadies have lacked.", "id": 13144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Many Frenchmen will sport a beret,\nA small cap that looks trendy and gay.\n  Don't pronounce it \"barrette\",\n  Or they'll call you \"tr\u00e8s b\u00eate\",\nFor in French, the -e-t's pronounced \"ay\".", "id": 13145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "At the bar, many beers we all _______,\nWhich we bought with a check from my _______.\nI was handed a pen,\nSigned my full name, and then\nTold the barkeep to fill in the ________.", "id": 13146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "The ballet is an odd type of dance,\nWhere the dancers will leap, twirl, and prance.\n When I'm at the ballet,\n I am likely to say,\n\"Do the men have to wear such tight pants?\"", "id": 13147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Of my bloodline I'm proud. My blood quickens\nWhen my pedigree's questioned. It sickens,\n Because I am pure kestrel;\n My parents ancestral\nWere falcons. Now piss off, you chickens.", "id": 13148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Benthamism is thus understood:\n\"Act as so to create the most good.\n Avoid causing man pain.\n Try to seek greatest gain\nIn our happiness.\" Maybe we should.", "id": 13149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "When an ancient decided to write\nDown a saying of wisdom and light,\nAphorism's the name\n If the saying's not lame.\n(If it is, it's clich\u00e9, and quite trite.)", "id": 13150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "It's the part that we sit on, in grass,\nOr a mule that might court a young lass.\n You have kids? Then you've taught 'em\n To call it a Bottom,\nBut frankly, the right word is ass.", "id": 13151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "As a French-speaking person would know,\nA remark full of wit's a bon mot.\n It's certainly not\n Pronounced as \"bon mot\";\nThe good word on speech tells us so.", "id": 13152, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If you're borderline, your personality\nMay lead you to seek your fatality.\nWith your agony great,\nBPD's a rough fate,\nThough you still have some grip on reality.", "id": 13153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "\"Attributional Al\" was his name.\nHe'd list reasons we lost every game:\n \"My equipment's too tight!\"\n Or \"The sun was too bright!\"\nBut we never heard, \"I am to blame.\"", "id": 13154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "She encountered a cowardly lion,\nAnd accouraged him, \"Stop all that cryin'.\"\n Yet discouraged by fears,\n He could not stop his tears.\nLacking courage, he said, \"Hey, I'm tryin'!\"", "id": 13155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Once, biweekly meant every two weeks,\nBut some writers misused it; those geeks\n Caused the meaning to soften\n To four times as often.\nAlas, how our poor language leaks.", "id": 13156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "You're a Hatfield? Well, I'm a McCoy!\nGuess you're someone I'll have to destroy.\n There's a blood feud, young man,\n 'Twixt your folks and my clan,\nSo it's murder and hate I'll employ.", "id": 13157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An adjournment is what you have earned\nAfter meetings where days have been burned.\n  But adjourning's most fun\n  For a judge. When he's done\nHe announces, \"This court is adjourned!\"", "id": 13158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I would think in most poets you'll find\nAn acute aberrational mind.\n From the pack they diverge,\n Since they've all got the urge\nTo take license with what they have rhymed.", "id": 13159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "All those blonde jokes I think are just mean.\nLight-haired women can still be quite keen.\n For example, take me:\n I just bought a degree,\nAnd I know four times three makes thirteen.", "id": 13160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "In a large Abyssinian city\nLived its people \u2014 some pretty, some gritty.\nEthiopia came\nAs that region's new name;\nAbyssinian's now just a kitty.", "id": 13161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I could see it from right where I stood,\nCute and furry, oft thought of as good.\nIt's the beaver by name,\nWhich is often to blame\nFor a massive collection of wood.", "id": 13162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "For Groucho, one dame wouldn't do,\nSo he thought he'd try marrying two.\n  \"But that's bigamy, sir!\"\n  He was quick to concur,\nAnd replied, \"Yes, it's big of me too.\"", "id": 13163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An anomaly doesn't conform.\nAn aberrance is far from the norm.\nIf there's something too cool\nTo conform to the rule,\nUsing either word means that you're warm.", "id": 13164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Forget overreaching, polemical,\nDisrespectful, obtuse, stratagemical;\nWhen you ask if it's so\nBut you don't need to know,\nThe question becomes academical.", "id": 13165, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An Old Testament Biblical tale\nTold of Jonah's three days in a whale.\nAnagoges presume\nThis is Christ in his tomb,\nOr a teen feeling trapped while in jail.", "id": 13166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A man who I knew from Verdun\nWalked into a bar with a pun.\n\"Give me all of your bling,\nOr I might have to sting\nYou.\" \"With what?\" And the joke was bee gun.", "id": 13168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A great scholar and sage, Rav Akiva:\nYou'd be proud if he taught your Yeshiva.\nA failed revolution:\nHe faced execution.\nHis students? They died of a feva.", "id": 13169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bring the axe down on top of his brain,\nAnd then strike him again and again.\nYou must split him in two,\nBecause that's what you do\nWhen you render a body atwain.", "id": 13170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "We agonise over each word,\nOver-analyse 'til it's absurd.\nWe have stressed over stresses\nAnd metrical messes\nAnd still in the end not concurred.", "id": 13171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An unhappy man known as Dan\nSaid, \"I'm altering all that I can.\nChange my clothes, hair and weight,\nMy home, job and state,\nAnd from now on please call me Diane!\"", "id": 13172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Muscle fibers have A-bands. Explained:\nThey are darker than I-bands when stained.\nTheir look also changes\nAs view angle ranges.\nLike hair bands, they tear when they're sprained.", "id": 13173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Round the edge of the garden you'll find\nPlants with beautiful colours entwined.\nThis fine border of flowers\nKeeps me busy for hours;\nIt's a toil and a joy, both combined.", "id": 13174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The power plant trip was just swell.\nThe guide told us all he could tell.\nAs we walked round inside\nAll the staff glowed with pride\nThat they worked here at BNFL.", "id": 13175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Arrenotokous birthings embrace\nOnly sons; they've no sisters to face.\nThelytokous mothers\nGive birth to no brothers.\nIn neither does sex have a place.", "id": 13176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Sammy Hagar just barrels along\nDown the highway\u2014but something is wrong.\nSeems his cruise control's stuck\u2014\nFifty-five! What a schmuck!\nNow he's singing a different song.", "id": 13177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aerospace engineers train\nAll their lives to design a good plane.\nLofty work they enjoyed,\nBut became unemployed\n'Cause their brains were too extramundane.", "id": 13178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As a plant without roots is arrhizal,\nRootless too are the nomads with Faisal:\nThey refuse to be pinned,\nAnd they move like the wind,\nEver seeking and fleeing reprisal.", "id": 13179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On Broadway, the amber shines brightly\nOn splendid soliloquies nightly.\nOutside on the street\nWhen it's amber you meet,\nHit the brakes\u2014if you're driving politely.", "id": 13180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Oh that Adah, most joyous of mothers\u2014\nGod himself must have granted her druthers!\nNo sons were so able\nAs Jubal and Jabal,\nMusician, tent dweller, fond brothers.", "id": 13181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper and Carl Lands", "limerick": "My dear John, I am sure you'll agree\nThat my letter looks nice as can be.\nWell, you're dumped, I won't josh,\nBut with so much panache,\n'Cause I used autoformat, you see!", "id": 13182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Fell asleep lying nude in the sun?\nAre you feeling your skin's overdone?\nIf you'll be a good patient,\nI'll apply algefacient.\nDon't be cross, it will cool your hot bun.", "id": 13183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Black rhinos eat twigs that are thorny.\nThey're endangered, and though it seems corny,\nWe must all do our bit,\nForce the poachers to quit\nMaking knives and ground horns for the horny.", "id": 13184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The tension was thick as pea soup.\nThe fans held their breath as a group.\n\"If he hits a home run,\nThen the Series is won!\"\nHere's the pitch, and he swings and...a bloop!", "id": 13185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "On Maple Street, monsters are due.\nNot me, but perhaps\u2014is it you?\nWitch-hunting begins,\nAccusations of sins,\nWhile the aliens (spacemen) review.", "id": 13186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The show Knight Rider featured a car\nThat's intelligent (more than the star).\nOnce inert, now alive\n(And man, can it drive!).\nAutogenesis took them quite far.", "id": 13187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The clinic director was floored\nBy the two grateful gifts from the board.\n\"Your section's outstanding,\nSo plan on expanding \u2014\nAccept both our grant and award.\"", "id": 13188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Poor Uhura had shuddered with shock:\n\"The Earth and a comet may knock!\"\n\"The path is quite clear\u2014\nIt will only pass near,\nFor appulse means no rock knock,\" said Spock.", "id": 13189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Well, talk of a weird occupation!\nApocalyptists report revelation.\nThey write, but won't yell,\n'Bout the coming of Hell,\nSince hoarsemen's a bad appellation.", "id": 13190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Polynomials? I'm a fanatic\nFor a nice fourth-degree biquadratic.\nA quartic equation\nCan be, on occasion,\nResolved with techniques mathematic.", "id": 13191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Anthropogeography shows\nThat when a society grows\nIt is shaped by ecology,\nTerrain, and geology.\nNow we bulldoze or reroute the flows.", "id": 13192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The baronage once was to fear.\nThey were rich and were lords of their sphere.\nBut now the nobility\nDepart with civility.\nThree cheers as the peers disappear!", "id": 13193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The Marine was a private named Kemper.\nHe complained, \"What is with this word, Semper!?\"\nThe sergeant said, \"Otto,\nLay off of our motto,\nAttempt to attemper your temper.\"", "id": 13194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The wives of the barons one day\nCommanded the woodwinds to play.\nThe whole baronetage\nEnjoyed clarinet, edg-\ning out the French horn (tr\u00e8s pass\u00e9).", "id": 13195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Inner Harbor is host to the throng.\nWater taxis and cars speed along,\nBearing people to play\nAmid scents of Old Bay:\nBusy Baltimore's still going strong.", "id": 13196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The acinaces, sword of antiquity,\nOnce hung from men's belts with ubiquity.\nAny Persian or Mede\nLikely made his foes bleed\nWith this blade, which would make them persniquity.", "id": 13197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "It's a feminine form of high treason,\nBetraying ourselves beyond reason,\nAs we twist and we squirm\n(Am I thin, am I firm?),\nAnd we dive into bathing suit season.", "id": 13198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "What a rowdy, vociferous fellow!\nAlways loud, he would boisterously bellow.\nI could bear him, except\nWhen he blared as I slept.\nAh, but marriage has kept him more mellow.", "id": 13199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I obtained a botanical for\nEasing pain in my back, which was sore.\nAlthough taking this herb\nHas me feeling superb,\nI can't taste, see, or smell anymore!", "id": 13200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Some relations are perfect; however,\nIf a whatsis is almost whatever,\nI believe you could say\nWhatsis borders it, eh?\nLike, \"This limerick borders on clever.\"", "id": 13201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Dave Bing received numerous cheers\u2014\nHis was one of the greatest careers.\nAs a guard for Detroit,\nHe was fast and adroit,\nMaking marvelous plays for nine years.", "id": 13202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I was driving around in my truck\nAnd got stuck in a puddle of muck.\nPaddle-free, up a creek,\nWith my tongue in my cheek,\nI said, \"Beautiful! Aren't I in luck?\"", "id": 13203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "When a thing has serrations, and then\nThese serrations are serrate again,\nIt's biserrate, in brief.\nYou might find that a leaf\nOr a saw has this feature. Amen.", "id": 13204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Some have purpose, devoting the whole\nOf their soul to pursuing a goal.\nOthers blindly will squander\nTheir chances and wander\nThrough life on a meaningless stroll.", "id": 13205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "With his putter (though less with his drive),\nThis adventurous Spaniard would thrive.\nSeve had quite a run,\nAs he skillfully won\nMajor tournaments numbering five.", "id": 13206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Banana bread's baked from a batter,\nThen presented, perhaps, on a platter.\nIt's a bit like a cake\nAnd no trouble to make,\nBut when people partake, they get fatter.", "id": 13207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Automatic deposit's to thank\nFor my no longer being a crank.\nAll my pay's placed posthaste,\nAnd I don't have to waste\nAny time in a line at the bank.", "id": 13208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Sometimes I, on my trusty bike, roam\n'Tween a bicycle shop and my home.\nMy bike's bichrome (two-hued;\nBoth are dark and subdued).\nIt should shine, so I go to buy chrome.", "id": 13209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Birk is the Scots form of birch,\nJust as kirk, to a Scot, means a church.\nNow I've said all I could.\n\"Huh? This verse is no good;\nAnd what's more,  you're a Scots word for jerch!\"", "id": 13210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Profane was a fellow named Fred;\nHe spewed curses with each thing he said.\nThus he never would utter,\n\"Dear, please pass the butter,\"\nBut \"[Bleep], [bleep] the [censored]!\" instead.", "id": 13211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The absorption of heat radiation\nIs a matter of deep cogitation\nFor an engineer, who,\nWith a physicist, too,\nLooks for burner design application.", "id": 13212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "From a partially visible parity,\nBy analogy see with more clarity\nA phenomenon, new,\nFrom a known point-of-view,\nWhich is why it has gained popularity.", "id": 13213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "There's an author, extremely prolific,\nBut his style isn't one that's specific.\nOne time bawdy, then clean,\nOften gaudy, or mean:\nAnon.'s work, now and then, is terrific!", "id": 13214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Now here's an odd story to tell\nOn a canton that's called Appenzell:\nFifteen years ago, note,\nOnly men had the vote,\nWhere these cheesemaking democrats dwell.", "id": 13215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An anion carries a charge,\nAnd the cations come to enlarge\nIt by forming a cluster\nLike a covering lustre,\nMoving straight to the anode side's marge.", "id": 13216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The adsorption of vapor on wood\nIs as moistening well understood.\nThe reverse case is drying\u2014\nSuch desorption applying\nMight cause cracks, which would hardly be good.", "id": 13217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An unpleasantly strong felt emotion\nIn awareness of danger\u2014a potion\nParalysing our will\nWith an odd sort of thrill:\nAngst may flood us, like waves from an ocean.", "id": 13218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Bifurcation denotes an event\nWhere the path of a process gets bent;\nAs the tines that belong\nTo a fork, where each prong\nMight a new stable state represent.", "id": 13219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Benedictus he chose as his name;\nFifteen others before did the same.\nBorn in Marktl am Inn,\nHe could manage to win\nBoth a secret election...and fame.", "id": 13220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In a vessel, you safely can float\nOver river or lake to remote\nAnd unknown further banks;\nYou might wish to say thanks\nTo the one who had built it, your boat.", "id": 13221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Greek andr\u00f3, we remember, means male,\nAdding -phoros, from carry, can't fail;\nBut if publicly shown,\nYour androphorous zone\nMight indeed get you thrown into jail.", "id": 13222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "John F. Kennedy, once in Berlin,\nProudly spoke out in German: \"Ich bin\nEin Berliner!\" He told,\nWith a voice sounding bold,\nOf a \"war\" called the \"cold\" we should win.", "id": 13223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A whistle he blew from his lips,\nElbows outwards, both hands on his hips.\nShe said, \"Oh, what a slim beau!\nI'll paint him akimbo;\nLet's hope that he willingly strips!\"", "id": 13224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The fevered explorer was told,\n\"I have good news and bad. Grab a hold!\nThat larva you fear\nHas abandoned your ear \u2014\nIt's exploring your brain's every fold.\"", "id": 13225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The appendix \u2014 the end of a book\nWhere the reader can readily look\nAnd will find (theoretically)\nArranged alphabetically\nWhat still will be gobbledygook.", "id": 13227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The Abrus: a tropical vine\nWhose vivid red seeds look quite fine;\nBut treat them with caution \u2014\nEat the most minute portion\nAnd you're into a fatal decline.", "id": 13228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Barbarically means using force,\nUnfettered and lacking remorse,\nLike barbarian hordes\nWith their axes and swords,\nIntent on their own selfish course.", "id": 13229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The apostrophe's used in omission\nWhen it shows the omission's position.\nAnd it marks a possessive,\nThough its use is excessive\nBy writers who trust intuition.", "id": 13230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "So your well has run dry? What a bore!\nNow you need us to work\u2014here's the score:\nWe can bore you a hole\n(Into water's our goal),\nBut pay cash, or we'll bore you no more.", "id": 13231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There was an old hacker from Wembley\nWho, after two Jolts, became trembly.\nAsk him \"Why?\" and he'd gloat,\n\"'Cause I cracked and rewrote\nAll my pacemaker's code in assembly.\"", "id": 13232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Young Godfrey's gray days seem a slog\nBut for evenings with coeds ajog\nDown the track near his dorm\nShowing fine, firm, fit form;\nGraced with girls, Godfrey's gaze goes agog.", "id": 13233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Need we search for a chef of repute?\nFlaky pastry with lots of dried fruit\nIs how grandma would make\nThe best Banbury cake.\nSo just offer our cook a salute!", "id": 13234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd and Workshop", "limerick": "An American writer of fame\nLives today, and won critics' acclaim\nBy composing keen plays\nEarning Pulitzer praise.\nEach line here is a clue to his name.", "id": 13235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When I said, \"Off the phone for the night\",\nYou once again answered with \"Aight.\"\nYou are not in the 'hood,\nBut in Butte. Understood?\nWhen you mean \"I agree\", say, \"All right.\"", "id": 13236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I sure hope that the black-footed ferret\nIs saved; this small mammal must merit\nOur help. Such a shame:\nIf it goes, all the blame\nWill be ours, and we'll all have to bear it.", "id": 13237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "You much valiant, and fight to defend,\nBut your station are lost in the end.\nWe have won every wars\nAnd have take that is yours.\nAll your base are belong to us, friend.", "id": 13238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My vision's unfocused and blurry;\nMy mouth feels impossibly furry;\nMy head is all achy;\nMy hands are quite shaky:\nGo pour me another\u2014and hurry!", "id": 13239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When I asked for a colorful 'do,\nI said, \"Red, plus some green and some blue.\"\nWell, you did that, all right:\nNow my hair is pure white.\nWas that additive color shampoo?", "id": 13240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "After one week of marriage, I knew\nYou had wed for what I'd do for you.\nIf I'd known I'd be your\nBeast of burden before,\nI'd have said, \"No, I don't,\" not \"I do.\"", "id": 13241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Arithmancy's misplotted my course:\nLousy childhood; bad job; a divorce.\nNow you say it can tell\nMe which stocks I should sell?\nHell, it's better to bet on a horse!", "id": 13242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "It's a question from time immemorial:\nAre boreal regions arboreal?\nIn lands to the north,\nForests sometimes spring forth,\nSo they could be. Here ends the tutorial.", "id": 13243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A black widow's a spider that's able\nTo slaughter her mate (hence the label).\nRight after they mate,\nIt's the end of the date.\n(Hey, at least he puts food on the table.)", "id": 13244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A young opera singer named Allie\nOnce found a plant off in a valley.\nThough its odor was grim,\nIt gave rise to a hymn:\nAliaria was the finale.", "id": 13245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The tensions had started to soar:\n\"They got nuclear weapons galore!\"\nThey turned in not one\n(Since of course they had none)\u2014\n\"Being armless\", an odd act of war.", "id": 13246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "An Antarctic sea Current patroller\nWith a path towards the Horn, Circumpolar,\nKnows it's  called West Wind Drift,\nLinked to zephyrs so swift.\n\"Make westing!\" and pray you'll control her!", "id": 13247, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "I wonder if Gianni Versace\nHad ever been known to play bocce\n(Italian lawn bowling),\nOr did he think rolling\nBalls out in the sun made him blotchy?", "id": 13248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Huey Newton and friend Bobby Seale\nRejected Rev. Martin's ideal.\n\"Fight for Black Power, Marty!\nThe Black Panther Party\nHas points that will make freedom real!\"", "id": 13249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The Lorax protested, loquacious,\nTo the Once-ler, whose greed was audacious.\nBut the Truffula Trees\nWere all chopped with such ease\nThat no more was the land arboraceous.", "id": 13250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"We refuse to serve ropes in this spot!\"\nBut a clever young cord hatched a plot.\nSo he got himself tangled;\nHis cut end he mangled.\n\"Hey, aren't you that rope?\" \"Afraid not!\"", "id": 13251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "There are some who choose lives so pathetic,\nUnaware of the world, anoetic.\nThough they see, hear and feel,\nThey've no thoughts that are real,\nFor TV is their best anesthetic.", "id": 13252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A Buddhist of type Mahayana\nKnows of one who won't enter Nirvana.\nBodhisattva's the name,\nSaving others, his claim,\n'Stead of saving himself like I'd wanna.", "id": 13253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Though archaic, I love the word blatter:\n\"To prate, or to prattle, or patter.\"\nIt's the sound of the rain\nOr the endless refrain\nOf some smattering, nattering chatter.", "id": 13254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "An can carry the meaning of if,\nThough such use has an obsolete whiff.\nWhile an', understand,\nIs a way to say and.\nSo, an Ann an' Anne want me? Terrif!", "id": 13255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "If moneymen call you \"Aunt Millie\",\nThey mean your investments are silly,\nAnd frankly believe\nThat you're strictly naive,\nTreating finance in ways willy-nilly.", "id": 13256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "I was hosting a party with Kate;\nWhat occurred there is sad to relate.\nFor some bird-dogging hound\nSoon came sniffin' around,\nLeft with Kate, and left me to my f\u00eate.", "id": 13257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"The Biggest of Big-Timers!\" Please!\nIt's a label he's trying to seize.\nHe'll have groupies and roadies\nAnd numerous toadies\nBackstage at his Circus of Fleas.", "id": 13258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I really can't say that I frown\nOn shipping my child across town\nTo some other kids' school,\n'Cause diversity's cool.\nAntibusing I ain't, Linda Brown.", "id": 13259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "If you have a phrase that is cute,\nLike calling a car trunk a boot,\nOr a TV the telly,\nOr you call Jell-O jelly,\nAnglicism's your formal pursuit.", "id": 13260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I have on my workbench a mat\nWith a term on its back: antistat.\nI wanted to be\nElectricity-free,\nSo I rubbed it all over my cat.", "id": 13261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Being atherogenic in diet,\nI cannot advise that you try it,\nFor the fat I consume\nTakes up far too much room\nIn my blood vessels\u2014I can't deny it.", "id": 13262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The bar's set at two meters ten.\nThe athlete must clear it\u2014and then\u2014\nIf he's not too fatigued\n(I can tell you're intrigued)\nAt two-twelve he must try it again!", "id": 13263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My authoritarian aunt\nUsed to say, \"No such thing as 'I can't!'\"\nI was slapped round the legs\nWhen I cried, \"Can't eat eggs!\"\nAnd shot when I added, \"I shan't!\"", "id": 13264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The sense of adhibit?  No catch:\nIt's \"to use, to apply, to attach.\"\nSince we know these words well,\nSend adhibit to Hell\u2014\nIt's superfluous, ripe for dispatch!", "id": 13265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Have some mercy on me and my spouse\nFor the money we've sunk in this house.\nIt's a bottomless pit,\nAn abysm\u2014unfit\nFor a man, although not for a mouse.", "id": 13266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Ngai", "limerick": "All our trophies and talents we lay\nAt Your feet, Lord, to use as You may,\nThat the world worship, kneeling,\nYour glory's revealing:\nMaiorem ad gloriam Dei.", "id": 13267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Check it deep, mon! I mus' be mistaken.\nDe bobsled I thought I saw snakin'\nDown de ice sho' appeared\nJus' a lilly bit weird,\nFo' it seemed dat de team was Jamaican!", "id": 13268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Some bibulous fellows are cranky,\nSome others are worse: they are skanky.\nYet some who swill beer\nRemain of good cheer\nWhen their motive is pure hanky-panky.", "id": 13269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Ad astra per aspera, they say,\nIs the brave, meritorious way\nTo ascend to the moon\nWhen there's no silver spoon\nTo make child's play out of the fray.", "id": 13270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Thick biceps: a bulge in your arm \u2014\nYet a lady thinks more of the charm\nIn the bulge you keep hidden\nUntil it is bidden\nTo light up her fire alarm.", "id": 13271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Akhal-Teke's the horse which was bred\nBy riders who fired as they fled.\n\"Parthian shot\" was the aim\nWhich won them their fame.\nTo this day, that retreat instills dread.", "id": 13272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A broker from Hype, Itt & Cotter\nHad a client enraged 'cause he'd bought her\nFishy stocks. With a sneer,\nWearing Aqua-Lung gear,\nHe reported their state: underwater.", "id": 13273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An expression is simply clich\u00e9\nAnd banal when said just for display.\nDon't let it pass by\nWithout any reply,\nLook impressed and exclaim, \"You don't say!\"", "id": 13274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "If you live in New York and L.A.\nYou're bicoastal, highfliers will say.\nIt must be depressing\nAnd almost as stressing\nAs living bipolar all day.", "id": 13275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A flood tide lifts up every boat\nCausing egos to swell and to gloat:\n\"I'm riding so high,\nHow clever am I!\"\n'Til an ebb tide disgorges the bloat.", "id": 13276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Inflation erodes any sum;\nIn time it won't leave you a crumb.\nA Benjamin will\nLeave you short at the till,\nIf you're dollar-bill wise and Ben dumb.", "id": 13277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "How'd ya manage to get it so wrong?\nYou're a boofhead! A drongo! A nong!\nA whacker! A fool!\nI said come to the pool\nWearing thongs, not a pole-dancer's thong!", "id": 13278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"It's bonzer!\" is whatcha might say\nIf yer 'avin' a bewdiful day\u2014\nWhen there's nothin' but smiles\nOn everyone's dials,\nAnd yer 'ole bloody life is okay.", "id": 13279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To protect against error or goof,\nThe printmaker runs off a proof\nTo ensure an engraving\nIs not misbehaving\nOr making the artist go \"oof!\"", "id": 13281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The aardvark explores after dark\nEvery inch of this African park\nWith his tongue and his claws\nFor those termites he gnaws\nSo he won't end up starving, and cark.", "id": 13282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A baseball\u2014I taught her to throw it.\nShe threw it, and wouldn't you know it?\nUnable to belt it,\nI swung, then I felt it\u2014\nNot over my belt, but below it.", "id": 13283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's because of Sir Tim Berners-Lee\nThat we're all of us gathered here. See,\nHe invented the Web,\nSo that any old pleb\nCould post any old gibberish. Whee!", "id": 13284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Got no kids and you're single? Rejoice!\nYou can say, \"It's my personal choice.\nI think marriage is hell,\nBut find agamy swell,\nAs I'd much rather have my Rolls-Royce.\"", "id": 13285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "How my wife loves her pot of black tea,\nLike a cup of a nice B.O.P.\nShe finds that Darjeeling\nIs very appealing,\nAnd to Keemun she'll always agree.", "id": 13286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "I am fond of a boxer, Ali:\nHe's the greatest you ever would see.\nHe's strong and he's proud,\nHe'll never be cowed,\nAnd this canine goes outside to pee.", "id": 13287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The belfry on top of our church,\nWhere the bells that we rang used to perch,\nWas invaded by bats\nWho annoyed us and that's\nWhy the belfry's bell free if you search.", "id": 13288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I attempted to act nonchalant\nOn visits from Agnes, my aunt.\nBut her hair was so puffy,\nI got a bit huffy,\nAnd taunted, \"Don't flaunt your bouffant!\"", "id": 13289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Davy, put down your fork and let's go;\nI can see Santa Anna, our foe!\"\nThey all died in defeat\nWith no after-meal treat,\nSo remember the (pie) Alamo.", "id": 13290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "If sledgehammered fruit is your thing,\nWell, you must see the man who is king.\nGot a chance to see Gallagher?\nBe eager and aleger!\n(Get goggles! He's starting to swing!)", "id": 13291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Massive Max was a coach and a teacher,\nAnd a rather intemperate creature.\nWhen a scamp passing by\nTried to Clorox his tie,\nThe coach took a seat on the bleacher.", "id": 13292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "It begins right at noon, not before.\nCount up hours until twenty-four.\nAstronomical day:\nThe astronomer's way\nTo mark time in the space they explore.", "id": 13293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The parts that are vulgar, omit,\nOr change them to make them legit.\nTom Bowdler's vocation,\nThis bowdlerization,\nMethinks is a big crock of censorship.", "id": 13294, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Black Monday could mean one of three\nAwful days that were tragic, you see.\nSoldiers died from the snow;\nMany stocks ended low;\nThe day after a holiday's spree.", "id": 13295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "I bided with breath that was bated\nAnd an anguish not easily sated.\nMy petitioning plea:\n\"Will you always love me?\"\nThe answer to which I awaited.", "id": 13296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "You've got four stomachs, cow. In the last,\nTrue digestion occurs unsurpassed.\nAbomasal's the word\nFor all actions past third\nIn your tummy arrangement so vast.", "id": 13297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "My mate is a bit of a gaby;\nHe's thick as two planks, and just maybe\nHe tossed out the tot.\nBut at least he did not\nThrow the bathwater out with the baby.", "id": 13298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "They kept all the money we lent,\nNot to mention the bribes that we sent.\nThe appeal of their fruit\nCost us bunches of loot\u2014\nThat banana republic is bent!", "id": 13299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "I've decided to fill up my Jag full\nOf petrol to go for a drag, full\nOf woe that the car\nDidn't get very far\nOn the coal I'd put in by the bagful.", "id": 13300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "It's smaller by far than a tree;\nIt's not even the size of a pea.\nIt's impossibly little\u2014\nA droplet of spittle\u2014\nThe fame of a back-bench MP.", "id": 13301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "You've been cleaning up after a flood,\nBut your wheelbarrow's stuck in the crud\u2014\nConsider replacing\nThe wheel, and embracing\nA ball-barrow\u2014rolls over mud!", "id": 13302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "One meaning this phrase has? It's where\nOne hallway's the rear of a pair.\nBut it's two-faced, like Janus\u2014\nA probe there might pain us\u2014\nSo mention back passage with care.", "id": 13303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The Englishman turned on the charm; he\nWas trying to gather an army\nOf rugby supporters\nTo tour foreign quarters\u2014\nBut all his recruits were quite barmy.", "id": 13304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "See it nab a fruit, largely with ease,\nAnd then grab a shoot, also a breeze.\nIt's a big, short-tailed lemur;\nAt dawn it's a screamer.\nThe babacoote lives in the trees.", "id": 13305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Your discourse is nothing but blather.\nI'd lend you an ear, but I'd rather\nGet into the zone\nAnd spout tripe of my own.\n'Tis better to sow than to gather.", "id": 13306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "So you think that your wallet is fat?\nTry the Amex 'cause that's where it's at!\nHot tips on cold stock \u2014\nPretty soon you're in hock.\nYou can't get more American than that.", "id": 13307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "If a meteor heading your way\nShould explode in a flaming display,\nWhen revived, tell the doc,\n\"It was no earthly rock,\nBut a bolide that struck me today.\"", "id": 13308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "You claim to be high-class and tony.\nLet's face it, my dear, you're a phony.\nYou say, \"I've not been\nToo well-off or too thin\" \u2014\nRather, too ostentatious and bony.", "id": 13309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "A disturbed UFO abductee\nWas informed, \"Soon, examined you'll be.\nSo please kindly disrobe\nAnd prepare for the probe.\"\nHe responded, \"You talkin' to me?\"", "id": 13310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Russian lecture drones on, blah blah blah;\nStudents nod and agree, da da da.\nConcentration diminished,\nIt's finally finished.\nThey get up and cheer, rah rah rah!", "id": 13311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Since your speedboat has only one screw,\nI can navigate circles 'round you.\nMine's a bimotor boat,\nAnd you oughta take note:\nBoats are slower with one than with two.", "id": 13312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Tipper rushed to the video store\nWith a deathly strong yearning to score\nSomething horribly thrilling\nWith torture and killing\nAnd bloodiness (plenty of gore).", "id": 13313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A good limerick's no trouble to fashion:\nAvoid lines that are metrically clashin',\nBring together some rhymes,\nBuild in humor at times,\nAnd enjoy it.  For some, it's a passion!", "id": 13314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "His basketball skills are a blend:\nHe can shoot, pass the ball, and defend.\nHow I love Chauncey Billups!\nHis three-pointer fill-ups\nWin many a game at the end!", "id": 13315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I'm horribly hungry and beat,\nAnd now, having sat down to eat,\nI'm as mad as can be!\nI've a bone to pick\u2014see,\nYou have eaten off all of the meat!", "id": 13316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\"Absorptiometry measures the rate\nThat a substance, in gaseous state,\nIs absorbed into some\nSort of liquid, by gum!\"\nMy excitement was lost on my date.", "id": 13317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "While three blankets, two quilts, and a sheet\nMake my bedclothing bevy complete,\nIt gets under my skin\nWhen they're tightly tucked in\nAnd confining my fidgety feet.", "id": 13318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Tim thought that his bike had expired.\nIt fell over once more.  He inquired,\n\"Why won't it stay standing?\nOh why, I'm demanding!\"\nI answered, \"Because it's two-tired.\"", "id": 13319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Did you hear of the bigamist who\nOnce married two women I knew?\nI declared to his face,\n\"That's an utter disgrace,\nFor you can't have Kate and Edith, too.\"", "id": 13320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "I've traveled both hither and yonder,\nAnd tasted fine liquor.  I ponder\nAbout one that I've found\nWith whose spell I am bound:\nBecause absinthe makes hearts grow much fonder.", "id": 13321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A fence of barbed wire that looked mean\nEncircled a field, lush and green.\nA cow wanted clover.\nShe tried to jump over.\nAn udder disaster was seen.", "id": 13322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "The air at the station, today,\nIs no longer free.  Now we pay.\nOh, why is this so?\nI'd sure like to know.\nIt's inflation is all I can say.", "id": 13323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Acrotism's a problem to dread,\n'Cause you rather resemble the dead.\nYour beat's hard to find\nIn a flaw of this kind,\nAnd your life likely hangs by a thread.", "id": 13324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Revolution for peace, land and bread!\nCome on comrade, let Bolshevism spread!\nLet's make death the decree\nFor the whole bourgeoisie!\nBut alas! All the reds are now dead...", "id": 13325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "It's daft: when you die, you bequeath\nAll your favourite things (like your teeth)\nTo your kids and your wife,\nWho brought much to your life \u2014\nLike its end, and a second-hand wreath!", "id": 13326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "A benchmark is something that gives\nUs a standard or measure, and sieves\nOut those short of the mark.\n(Or it's left in the park\nBy a tramp, so he knows where he lives.)", "id": 13327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Bad blood is a lack of do-gooding\nWith hatred and enmity brooding.\nBefore it's too late\n(Past the last use-by date)\nThey should make it all into black pudding.", "id": 13328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Don't think that I'm herein espousing\nA sailor's rough work or carousing,\nBut lifting by pulley\nA cargo or fully\nDrunk comrade is also called bowsing.", "id": 13329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Walk upon floating logs, make 'em twirl!\nAs we ride down the river, we birl.\nRolling oak, spinning pine \u2014\nDone to tree trunks, that's fine;\nBut felonious done to a girl.", "id": 13330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "When her air supply seemed out of kilter,\nShe thought it was going to wilt 'er.\nBut today she's content\nIn her home; on each vent\nThere's a thing called an absolute filter.", "id": 13331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "This chump who loved women would dine 'em,\nBut his fare would quite soon disincline 'em:\nThe food was too old,\nEnshrouded with mold,\nAnd full of \u2014 oh gross! \u2014 botulinum.", "id": 13332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"There are mermaids in regions benthonic,\"\nSaid sailors who swapped tales hedonic.\nBut with fishtails, not legs,\nJust like fish, they'd lay eggs,\nMaking romance a concept ironic.", "id": 13333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"Black-, straw-, boysen-, rasp-, huckle- or blue-,\nI love all kinds of berries, don't you?\"\n\"But\", say botanists, \"wait,\nWhat of eggplant or date\nOr persimmon? For they're berries, too!\"", "id": 13334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Abdomino- means \"of the gut\":\nAbdominoplasty \u2014 it's cut.\nAn abdominous paunch\nMay give reason to launch\nA new diet, and nix on the glut.", "id": 13335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Said the cuckold to Julia, his wife:\n\"My dear, we'd have had far less strife\nWithout your affair,\nBut now I despair!\nYour apistia's ruined my life.\"", "id": 13336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I'm aroused when I'm kissed \u2014 basorthosis \u2014\nQuite a commonplace, plain diagnosis.\nMy barosmia spells\nOut a lust for strong smells.\nWhat I like in a girl? Halitosis!", "id": 13337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "My company makes lots of dough,\nWhich is subject to taxes, you know.\nAbove-the-line's shown\nWhat I keep for my own.\nAnd everything else? Down below.", "id": 13338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "The department of commerce and labour\nTried to whet its proverbial sabre\nBy the devaluation\nOf coin in the nation \u2014\nA ploy known as beggar-thy-neighbour.", "id": 13339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "If your arm or leg's totally numb,\nYou've got acroagnosis, old chum.\nIt's quite handy, you know,\nWhen you stub your big toe\nOr you slam the car door on your thumb!", "id": 13342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Long ago, when young men studied Latin,\nAnd young ladies wore corsets and satin,\nTo woo and beguile\nWas a matter of style.\nNow it's booty calls, webcams, and chattin'!", "id": 13343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Asked a freshman of fellow frosh Josh:\n\"Do you know that new prof? Truly posh!\nWhen I see her\u2014my gosh\u2014\nShe looks sweet as a nosh.\"\n\"What nonsense,\" thought Josh, and said: \"Bosh!\"", "id": 13344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Oh, bluntness! A reason for strife,\nFor \"straight to the point\" is my wife:\nIt drives me insane\nTo hear her complain\nThat blunt, once again, is her knife.", "id": 13345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A boardman belongs to the board\nOf a firm, such as Boeing or Jord.\nHis chairman presides\nAnd, at times, overrides\nHis plans, which the firm can't afford.", "id": 13346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The film show of Venice appears\nBiennially (every two years).\nThe winner takes all,\nAnd later the ball\nDisplays some of the stars all in tears.", "id": 13347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Acceptedly means \"in a manner\nAccepted\" by tinker or tanner.\nAdmittedly will\nProvide the same thrill\nIf displayed on a proud linguist's banner.", "id": 13348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Benignly the editor said,\n\"Your lim is not bad, my dear Fred,\nBut still far from good.\nSuggestion: you should\nNot despair but revise it instead.\"", "id": 13349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Bisexually speaking, my wife\nWas good for some trouble and strife.\nMy husband, however,\nWas not all that clever,\nAnd married her later in life.", "id": 13350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The toothless old priest, at a loss,\nCraved an apple, which made him quite cross.\nWith a sledge from the chapel\nHe pounded the apple,\nInventing the first applesauce.", "id": 13351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The basset horn, Mozart well knew,\nWas neither a horn nor kazoo,\nBut a low clarinet\nWhich was wonderful; yet,\nCount the specimens now: there are few.", "id": 13352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "When invaders took Poland; the blaze\nIn Chicago; a sudden malaise\nFrom a deadly disease:\nEach and every of these\nWe refer to as black-letter days.", "id": 13353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "British radio, also TV,\nBroadcasting programmes to me.\nCorporation that's hectic,\nDiverse and eclectic,\nBrings news that's impartial and free.", "id": 13354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'm floating and flitting and flirting\nWith will-o'-the-wisps in the skirting.\nMy body's in pain,\nBut I dance on a plane\nCalled the astral, where nothing is hurting.", "id": 13355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "This submission's the start of the story.\nIt goes in, but before all the glory\nOf approval and credit,\nOther writers may edit.\nTheir work is adjudicatory.", "id": 13357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If your city is awful indeed, I'll\nSuggest that you talk to the aedile.\nIf the place is replete\nWith big holes in the street,\nThen you might want to put him on speed dial.", "id": 13358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "This practice, accouchement forc\u00e9,\nMeans hastened delivery (nay,\nNot of pizza). So, then,\nIt is not what binds men\nTo the couch, watching football all day.", "id": 13359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I'm known to espouse contemplation.\nWithout it, I risk enervation.\nAll my nerve endings shot?\nWell, nirvana it's not\u2014\nAh, that dull state of abirritation.", "id": 13360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Star of Ibsen's most time-honored play\nSlew a turkey for Thanksgiving Day.\nSaid the actress, \"I never\nImagined I ever\nWould behead a gobbler this way.\"", "id": 13361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Jury duty at Christmastime? Heck!\nThe season will now be a wreck.\nI will have boughs of holly,\nBut won't be too jolly\nWith just halls of justice to deck.", "id": 13362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "My dog hates the mud and the rain.\nClean and dry he prefers to remain.\n\"Wanna trudge through the mire\nOr bow out?\" I'll inquire,\nAnd \"bow out\" is his standard refrain.", "id": 13363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An advance team knows just what to do\nTo ensure things go tickety-boo.\nWhen the cheering commences\nThey've earned their expenses;\nThey wave and remark \"Toodle-oo\".", "id": 13364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "I blacken some chicken for lunch,\nAnd, soon as it's done, I go munch.\nBut, much to my shame,\nThe skillet's aflame,\nAnd blackens the kitchen a bunch.", "id": 13365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A blue chip, an equity stake,\nIs the best kind of bet you can make,\nWith a name known and trusted,\nA purse gold-encrusted,\nAnd dividends, part of the take.", "id": 13366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A bearer bond carries no name,\nSo it's money, or nearly the same.\nThey make governments frown\n(G-men can't track them down),\nBut they're rare outside cinema fame.", "id": 13367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Bilingualism's the aim\nTo treat two different argots the same.\nThough it makes smarter folks,\nAs a law, it provokes\nMore than double the volume of blame.", "id": 13368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "All the Earth always quakes when I grin,\nAnd my face causes fights in Berlin.\n(But that's false, not the truth.\nI've been downing vermouth\nAnd my boastful big mouth is my sin.)", "id": 13370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "And used for if is now quaint,\nWhich I know is a minor complaint;\nBut it's also confusing\nAs and you are using\nA palette of only one paint.", "id": 13371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An autochthon is something that's found\nIn a place that is in or around\nThe location where it\nWas first formed. I'll admit\nThe word native's less painful to sound.", "id": 13372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Your blamelessness: proven by now,\nAnd your honor's restored, we avow.\nYou mostly stayed nameless\n(Though, sadly, not flameless):\nYou're Daisy, O'Leary's brown cow.", "id": 13373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "In the old days, I boogied till dawn;\nI danced and I pranced down the lawn.\nIn my youth I had verve\u2014\nLots of oomph in reserve:\nThe reserve of my verve is all gone.", "id": 13374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "To get rivals to make their departure,\nYou don't want a sailor or marcher.\nTo chase off the foeman\nYou need a good bowman:\nThey're slyer (I mean to say, archer).", "id": 13375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Can you please get those bells to stop jingling,\nAnd the folks in the sleigh to stop mingling?\nAnd I wish to report\nThat you've cut my tail short;\nI can't swish it to stop all the tingling!", "id": 13376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "This morning's commute got me psyched,\nThrough the trails and the traffic I biked.\nGot a flat \u2014 don't know where \u2014\nHad no pump, and no spare,\nSo the rest of the way I just hiked.", "id": 13377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To the building codes I've no adherence;\nI consider such rules interference.\nI'm constructing my walls\nOut of old bowling balls,\nSpurning safety as well as appearance.", "id": 13378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Here's the airstrip: a runway alone\nWith no porters or taxicab zone.\nCompletely generic\nAnd almost barbaric:\nNo Starbucks or white paging phone.", "id": 13379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "When I went for a ride on my bike,\nI did not get as far as I'd like:\nI rode only one mile,\nWhich is hardly worthwhile,\nBefore my machine went on strike!", "id": 13380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "If you're plotting the course of the sun\nEach day of the year, when you're done,\nThe path is an \"eight\",\nRight on time, never late:\nAnalemma has finished its run.", "id": 13381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My husband's as thick as an ox\u2014\nCan't distinguish the Labourite blocs.\nA big Bennite (a gent\nWith a Socialist bent)\nHe assumes is a lover of clocks.", "id": 13382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Just how wide's the inside of a pipe,\nOr a hole through a fruit that is ripe?\nWhat's the size of a gun?\nWhat's a bloke who's no fun?\nGot the word? Yes, it's bore that I type.", "id": 13383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A banker who tried to enhance\nHis chances of getting a dance\nAt the annual bash\nTried advancing some cash,\nBut the ladies all spurned his advance.", "id": 13384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "A marine is a soldier who'll fight\nOn the land or the sea, day or night.\nBut an aquamarine\nIs a stone or what's seen\nWhen you hold the same stone to the light.", "id": 13385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The 6 a.m. buzz of the clock\nHit my head with the force of a rock.\nMy heart sped a fraction,\nMy feet sought for traction\u2014\n'Twas fight-or-flight action from shock.", "id": 13386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A lover of cheese was our Greta.\nSaid she, \"For a really good feta,\nI'd shave off my hair,\nOr wrestle a bear,\nOr sing a Gounod arietta.\"", "id": 13387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Some churches give converts a dip.\nIt's a practice that I'd rather skip.\nThough I may be God's daughter,\nI'm scared of the water;\nI'd rather be baptized by drip.", "id": 13388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The gemologist's scathing report\nSaid my diamonds are nothing but bort.\nThey're industrial grade,\nUsed to grind or abrade,\nSaid the jewelry store jerk with a snort.", "id": 13390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "They're dough that's been looped and then boiled,\nThen salted or seasoned or oiled.\nEat them hot or else cold,\nBut don't let them get old,\nBecause bagels are easily spoiled.", "id": 13391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Astrotherapy looks to the stars\nTo help heal psychological scars.\nIf you envy your brother\nOr lust for your mother,\nSeek answers in Jung and in Mars.", "id": 13392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "An Abram-man madness would feign\nIn hope of material gain.\nFor, when seeking largesse,\nHe'd more likely hear \"Yes\"\nIf people believed him insane.", "id": 13393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Good Heavens! The hounds have been loosed!\nLet's find us a safe place to roost!\nWe must quickly get hence;\nCome now, over that fence!\nHelp me climb it, please; give me a boost!", "id": 13394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The room that I rent is a peach.\nAnd the meals that we get? I love each!\nI can't wait to have dinner,\nThough soon I'd be thinner\nIf not for my boardinghouse reach.", "id": 13395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If your arms or your shoulders feel achy,\nAnd your legs and your hands are all shaky,\nThen this dull nagging pain\nYou'll just have to contain \u2014\nAll infections will make you feel flaky.", "id": 13396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An old car's acetylene lamp\nWorked well when its carbide was damp.\nIf by chance that got dry\nWith no water close by,\nThen the driver's \"supply\" would revamp.", "id": 13397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Exclamation marks have been explained,\nBut a useful fact's still to be gained:\nYou will not know that 4!\nIs factorial, nor\nTwenty-four if you haven't been trained.", "id": 13398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Our prof summoned all her persuasion\nIn algebra class, that occasion:\n\"To an x you apply\nPlus or minus a y,\nTo create a binomial equation.\"", "id": 13399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "The flat bottomed boats, the bateaux,\nSailed or rowed by the French long ago\nIn Canadian streams\nIn the winter, it seems,\nCould be dragged and pushed over the snow.", "id": 13400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "Billy screams and he jumps on a chair.\nSo I look, but I see nothing there.\nStill he yells as he squirms,\n\"I'm surrounded by germs!\"\u2014\nA bacteriophobia scare.", "id": 13401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "After singing a Bach arioso,\nShe insisted her solo was so-so.\nShe was less than a star\u2014\nHad a cold with catarrh,\nAnd her nose was stuffed up molto grosso.", "id": 13402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's a creature not monkey\u2014not me;\nSomething more than those chimps\u2014less than we.\nSort of halfway between\nA gorilla and teen\u2014\nThat's your mythical ape-man, you see.", "id": 13403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My siblings are bothersome boys\nWho enjoy rearranging my toys.\nI'm a female, you see,\nWho wants someone like me,\nAnd my sislessness simply annoys.", "id": 13404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A keen annotator went through\nEach syllable of a haiku.\nWith care seldom seen,\nHe glossed all seventeen\n(It took ninety-four thousand and two).", "id": 13405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The mice here behave aggravatingly.\nThey've watched Tom and Jerry, frustratingly.\nAs they tiptoe around\nAll my traps on the ground,\nI'm left baiting their bane unabatingly.", "id": 13406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "To quote from the ex-Mrs. Boyer:\n\"Divorce is the greatest annoyer;\nIf I simply dropped dead\nPleasant things would be said,\nAnd my priest wouldn't charge like my lawyer.\"", "id": 13407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My antidepression drug's great.\nI used to be sad and sedate,\nNow I'm smiley and perky \u2014\nIn love with a turkey!\nBest quit it before it's too late.", "id": 13408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I once met a cop from St. Louis I'd\nDescribe as a bit antisuicide.\nSlashed wrists, splattered brains,\nAnd leaps out of trains,\nHe'd found had results on the gooey side.", "id": 13409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "A fistula, ulcer or stye\nOn the innermost point of the eye\nIs an aegilops. Heed\nAny claims it's a weed;\nIt's the oat-grass that grows in the rye.", "id": 13410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "When sleep is the state I'm in mentally,\nI walk into walls accidentally.\nMom cushioned the halls\nTo avert nasty falls;\nQ.E.D., I'm protected parentally.", "id": 13411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To Abram, God said, \"you must sac-\nrifice Isaac,\" but God took it back.\nAbram then changed his name:\nAbraham he became.\nNot his son, though. Come on, \"Isaahac\"?", "id": 13412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "When Suzanne stubbed her toe, what a squawk!\nAs I carried her home, all her talk\nWas romantic. \"The bay!\nCan't we stroll down that way?\"\n\"Oh, you're ambulant? Great! You can walk.\"", "id": 13413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Hearing \"either or both\", I see red.\nUse a phrase that's less awkward instead:\nOne that's easily reckoned,\nThat's typed in a second,\nAnd clearer when sung and/or said.", "id": 13414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I have finished the first fifty-four\nAnd my stomach's so full that it's sore,\nBut your cakes are so good\nThat it's well understood:\nI am eating another (one more).", "id": 13415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "One ten-billionth, when shaved from a meter\nGives an angstrom. If you throw your heater,\nThat baseball could go\nSay, a trillion or so,\nIf it's hit by New York's Derek Jeter.", "id": 13416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Said an Oregon woman named Gloria,\n\"I adore living here in Astoria.\nIt's cold and it's wet\nIn the winter, you bet,\nBut my summers are filled with euphoria.\"", "id": 13417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "A stop and release into fricative\nClosely tied as one noise are indicative\nOf an affricate sound\nLike in \\ch\\, where I've found\n\\t\\ and \\sh\\ to be plainly applicative.", "id": 13418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My time spent in Court (the Superior)\nWas sad, but my prospects are cheerier.\nMy barrister's trickery\nAbsolved me of kickery\nOf Bonnie Prince Charlie's posterior.", "id": 13419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Vegas odds, for the erudite gambler,\nOn defining the English word ambler:\n8 to 1 for \"a horse\",\nBut the best bet's, of course,\n2 to 1 for \"a leisurely rambler\".", "id": 13420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Curse that Hurricane Ivan and rain!\nI've got flooding and no place to drain.\nNow my door has absorpt\nSo much water, it's warped,\nAnd the window is stuck\u2014what a pane!", "id": 13421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Absurdism tells us that life\nHas no meaning and there's only strife\nIf you're searching for some.\nSo you're better off, chum,\nSpending nights on the town with your wife.", "id": 13422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Now gather 'round, kiddies, and hear\nOf the port Egypt calls Abu Qir.\n'Twas the place for a while,\nIn the Battle of the Nile,\nWhere the British kicked Bonaparte's rear.", "id": 13423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Said my friend, \"I don't like Arizona.\nIt's too bland,\" as he sipped his Corona.\nI took my companion\nTo visit Oak Canyon\nThen told him, \"Shut up and Sedona.\"", "id": 13424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When Katrina caused ruin and blowdown,\nIn priority, rescue came low down.\nAnd therefore, George W.,\nWe are sorry to trouble you,\nBut we think it is time for a showdown.", "id": 13425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "He loves showing off his bicepses,\nBut I view this display with some scepsis:\nNo-one's seen him (to date)\nLift a heavier weight\nThan a Big Mac and chips and two Pepsis.", "id": 13426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "On a nature walk, studying botany,\nOur teacher enquired, \"Did you spot any\nPretty flowery plants?\"\nOne girl thought she said \"pants\",\nAnd said, \"Please, teacher, I haven't got any.\"", "id": 13427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "\"To burgle, to steal and to rob is\nThe sum of my favourite hobbies;\nNo Scotland Yard clown\nWill e'er track me down,\nFor they \u2014\" [exit, pursued by the bobbies].", "id": 13428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "What a fall I had, leaving a bo\u00eete!\nWas I drunk? I admit it \u2014 somo\u00eete.\nBut the real reason why\nWas a fruit-stall nearby,\nWhere I slipped on a rotten cumquo\u00eete.", "id": 13429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A betel nut is, you'd expect,\nA lover of beetles. Correct?\nNo, it's something you chew\n(Wrapped in betel leaves too)\nTo achieve a narcotic effect.", "id": 13430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Full of sex and obscene titillation,\nMy verses oft cause a sensation;\nBut alas! what I write\nFor OEDILF (that's this site)\nIs subjected to bowdlerization.", "id": 13431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When the water is mixed with the clay\nTo make pottery, then you may say\nThat you blunge, for the mixing\nIs blunging: you're fixing\nTo work with your blunger all day.", "id": 13433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When the bloodmobile drives down your lane,\nKnow the needle's prick might cause you pain;\nBut the gift that you give\nWill help others to live,\nSo your sacrifice won't be in vain.", "id": 13434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Some who write about Martin L. King\nSeem obsessive: \"Oooh, he had a fling!\"\nBiographers?  Hacks\nLaunching senseless attacks!\n\"I've a dream\" to them means not a thing.", "id": 13435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Andy's been to Peru, where it snowed;\nDrove to Chile by mountainous road.\nHe photoed the Andes\n(The peaks, not the candies),\nAn' dese are the places he goed.", "id": 13436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Alegge's not a word that should frighten:\n\"To allay, or alleviate; lighten\".\nSpencer used it, I'm told\nIn his writings of old\n'Bout the bold bitter blasts out of Brighton.", "id": 13437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The astrologer knows how to spin it:\n\"You need love, but have weakness within.\" It\nIs vague, indirect,\nThe old Barnum effect.\nBut you know one is born every minute.", "id": 13438, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Brother Cadfael was sent by his Abbot\nOn the case of the man-eating rabbit.\nNow, he wasn't a drunk,\nBut they called him black monk,\nSince they knew Benedictine's his habit.", "id": 13439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Sheherazade's spellbinding tales\nAre of magic and misfits' travails.\nDusk to dawn she recites\nThe Arabian Nights;\nWon't unveil every tale\u2014and prevails.", "id": 13440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "The alienist, placed under oath,\nTo give expert opinion was loath.\n\"Do you think the accused\nWas composed or confused?\"\nAfter tugging his beard he said, \"Both.\"", "id": 13441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"Do it now, ere that dark day arrives.\nHe is waiting to enter your lives.\nIf you'll give Him your all\nAt this last altar call\nThere's a free set of stainless steel knives.\"", "id": 13442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "At the end of the job (what a squeeze!)\nI looked round with a growing unease;\nThe roll was all gone!\nTo the neighboring john\nI advanced with my pants round my knees.", "id": 13443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A profligate pair in Albania\nHad intense aphrodisiomania.\nThe flesh-focused two\nWondered, \"What can we do\nTo drain the profane from our crania?\"", "id": 13444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A chunk of geological time\nWhen some life-forms left clues in the slime,\nAll of similar types,\nFound in strata or stripes\u2014\nThat's an age served in slices of lime.", "id": 13445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Write an amphibological phrase\nOn a page that you'll read in two ways.\nIts words may be clear,\nBut the grammar, I fear,\nLeaves the meaning quite hard to appraise.", "id": 13446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Her teacher, one night after class,\nSlipped an additive into her glass.\nThe spike in her drink\nPerhaps leads us to think\nThat his mind's only track was \"harass\".", "id": 13447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Plug in socket's an AC supply,\nWhile for DC, give batteries a try.\nIf your high voltage needs\n(For your dirtiest deeds)\nAre both AC and DC, you're bi.", "id": 13448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The great Gotthold Ephraim Lessing:\nTo Toastmaster types, what a blessing!\nA dramatist notable\nFor being so quotable,\nNo matter what group you're addressing.", "id": 13449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Your nymphomaniacal actions\nAre sure to cause major distractions.\nIf you must be a tramp\nAt St. Pete's Bible Camp,\nFind a less public place for infractions.", "id": 13450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "The pads of your fingers are bloody.\nThe edema bars harpsichord study.\nSeems your hands are a mess!\nI proclaim (more or less)\nThat it's Achenbach Syndrome, old buddy!", "id": 13451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Accessory organs are not\nFor making pianos look hot!\nThey'll never be seen\nAs barrettes for your spleen.\nThey are just extra innards you've got!", "id": 13452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A sword will cause Bill to recoil.\nHe will cringe at a needle or foil,\nOr a figure skate's toe-pick.\nHe's belonephobic,\nWhich sucks, since he works as a mohel.", "id": 13454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "The carcinogen, benzol, they say\nWas discovered in \"pure\" Perrier.\nThe clear, liquiform stuff\nMade ol' Nestl\u00e9 get tough\nAnd recall the bad lots right away.", "id": 13455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Its benignancy helped put to rest\nAll my fears 'bout the lump in my breast.\nA biopsy proved\nThat it should be removed,\nBut malignant? No, only a pest.", "id": 13456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Few water-borne bugs are as sly as is\nThe fluke that will give bilharziasis:\nIt got in the fonts\nOf a baptistery once,\nAnd infected the whole of the diocese.", "id": 13458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I once knew a Doctor Joanna,\nWho spent what she'd saved when she ran a\nPaediatric department\nOn a lavish apartment;\nAnd she called it (oh dear!) \"Bedside Manor\".", "id": 13459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "An unhappy rape victim in Penge\nWas asked how she'd like to avenge\nThis despicable crime;\nShe replied (for the rhyme):\n\"Human sacrifice, please, at Stonehenge.\"", "id": 13461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Clementi might well have been easier,\nYet that night I played Mozart\u2014to please ya.\nYou say you've forgotten\nMy music? How rotten!\nIt must be acousmatamnesia.", "id": 13462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The army once sought to engage a\nRecruit from the people called Beja;\nBut they had to await a\nGood Beja translator\nFor \"Kiss me goodnight, sergeant-major\".", "id": 13463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "On a blustery, blizzardy night,\nSafely driving a car can be quite\nA tall order indeed,\nEven at a slow speed\u2014\nWhen it's snowed out, it's no doubt all white.", "id": 13464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"Rest assured that my word is my bond.\nYou can trust if you call, I'll respond,\"\nSaid the lawyer whose fee\nWas prepaid (yes, by me).\nNow I've learned a new word: It's abscond.", "id": 13465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "There are various kinds of balloons \u2014\nTiny catheters, mighty pontoons \u2014\nBut they all must inflate,\nAnd most kids think it's great\nWhen balloons take their shapes from cartoons.", "id": 13466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Has my buddy gone totally bonkers?\nHe says soon he will take over Yonkers.\nI think he's bananas \u2014\nHired hip-hopping plannas\nTo pick the next place that he conquers.", "id": 13467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Acidification is handy\n(But not in the making of candy).\nIt stops apples from browning,\nAnd piemen from frowning;\nThe tartness it adds is just dandy.", "id": 13468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "If a pitcher is charged with a balk,\nThen all runners on base get to walk\nOnce the ump gives the word;\nThus a runner on third\nCan then trot down that line made of chalk.", "id": 13469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Doctor Phil starred on Oprah to start,\nBut a basophil's actually part\nOf a system (immune)\nYou may come to need soon;\nLet us see what it says in your chart.", "id": 13470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "The rock star, on his pet Appaloosa,\nGot bucked off and  thus hurt his caboosa.\nTo be perfectly Frank,\nHe alit with a clank,\nAnd he knocked his brand new Zappa loosa.", "id": 13471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "To the Sioux, the Black Hills are the core\nOf their life; they're a spiritual door,\nA connection between\nThe real world that is seen\nAnd  their heaven and life evermore.", "id": 13472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "When I woke up this morning, the news\nThat you'd gone hit me hard \u2014 left a bruise.\nYou abandoned me, honey \u2014\nTook all of my money,\nAnd now all I got is the blues.", "id": 13473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Australians say it's all hooey\nThat a swagman will carry a bluey;\nNo antipodean\nHas a bag more plebeian\nThan a suitcase by Vuitton (yes, Louis).", "id": 13474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The ghost walks: it's father, to say\nHow mother and uncle betray;\nHamlet takes a \"bare bodkin\"\nTo escape from his odd kin \u2014\nBut relents (and thus saves Shakespeare's play).", "id": 13475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "At the deathbed of poor little Mimi, a\nConsumptive (or was it anaemia?),\nSaid her lover, Rodolfo,\n\"I'm taking up golf; oh \u2014\nI've had quite enough of bohemia!\"", "id": 13476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Some fishes are sullen and snappy;\nAnd others, one has to call sappy.\nThe black crappie, a sunfish,\nIs really a fun fish:\nNot black in mood \u2014 more happy-crappie.", "id": 13477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose and Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Michael's poems are painful to see.\nAn OEDILFer's antithesis, he;\nFor he starts them with 'Tis,\nThinks iamb means he is,\nAnd he swears that baguette rhymes with flea.", "id": 13478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Have some water to lift, what to do?\nI would augur an auger for you.\nSlide it into a tube\nAnd then turn it, you boob!\nArchimedes sure knew how to screw.", "id": 13479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Before planning to travel to Basel,\nAbandon the dogs, for their paws'll\nScratch Swiss chocolate grooves\nEverywhere that one moves,\nLeaving messes to hose with a nozzle.", "id": 13480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "When alarum is called in a play,\nThe cast scurries every which way.\nAll the actors take flight\nAs if in great fright,\nAnd the villains get cleanly away!", "id": 13481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"My son, my request is that you\nHelp your sister with what she must do.\"\n\"Mother, please ask another.\nI can't be a brother\nAnd also assist her now too.\"", "id": 13482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "I fear yours is a desperate state,\nFor once Atropos comes, it's too late.\nAs she poises her knife\nO'er the thread of your life,\nI must leave you, I guess, to your Fate.", "id": 13483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Those who have jobs managerial\nWill often act grand and imperial.\nTheir great self-importance\nDoes not compel sortance\nFrom underlings administerial.", "id": 13484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "It's basically built for beginners;\nAll-purpose \u2014 suits saints and suits sinners;\nSymbolic instruction\nDescribes the construction.\nTeach BASIC to budding code-spinners.", "id": 13485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "In most situations it's right\nThat botrytis is but a bad blight.\nBut when grapes are for wine,\nNoble rot is divine.\n\"Late harvest\" is quite a delight.", "id": 13486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "Babiana are flowers that bring\nVibrant colour quite late in the spring.\nIf you want them to stay,\nKeep baboons well away,\nBecause eating the corms is their thing.", "id": 13487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Bonapartism's governing view\nIs that only a general will do\nTo lead all the classes,\nAnd play to the masses:\nThe many submit to the few.", "id": 13488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats thinks Achilles would beat us;\nThis Athenian aesthete loves Thetis.\nMycenaean (the Age)\nFor this Greek's all the rage:\nFrom Pylos to golden Miletus.", "id": 13489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Said the lady as moods became lighter,\n\"I go nuts for a big burly fighter.\nSee the king's stalwart men?\nThey're so handsome: all ten.\nI would sure like to pull an all-knighter.\"", "id": 13490, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Said the bisontine lass Tonya Tawny,\n\"I use to be hairless and scrawny,\nBut I grazed on the plains\nAnd some Iowa grains\u2014\nNow I'm horny and hairy and brawny.\"", "id": 13491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I went to a race in Bermuda:\nPicked a bobtailed young nag, Barracuda.\nWith less hair on her end\nShe was first 'round the bend,\nBut fell back when she slipped in some doo-dah.", "id": 13492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I'm afraid that I'm going insane.\nWill a rubber room be my domain?\nI'm scared I'll go mad\nLike my dear old granddad;\nThat's agateophobia's pain.", "id": 13493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "'Fore we wed, her mom said, \"I can see\nWhat a fine son-in-law you will be!\"\nBut she's now my affine,\nAnd not quite so benign.\nWere she fined, that would be fine with me.", "id": 13494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "A cobra who hid in a box in\nA belfry delivered some shocks in\nThe form of his bite.\nThe poor ringer took flight\nAs the tocsin rang out, \"Antitoxin!\"", "id": 13495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "A region that shares the same air\nBecause of topography there,\nCombined with the clime\n(I've learned writing this rhyme),\nIs an airshed, as you were aware.", "id": 13496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "When we blabber for far too much time\n(Such as limericists might do in rhyme),\nThose who listen grow violent\nAnd scream out, \"Be silent!\nPretend you're a monk or a mime!\"", "id": 13497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "When Rosemary, Ginger, and Basil\nAsked Herb for his honest appraisal,\nHe said, \"With some thyme\nAnd some seasoning, I'm\nConvinced you will sound much less nasal.\"", "id": 13498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "A birder I heard of in Arkansas\nStrayed into the nudists' new park 'n' saw,\nThrough brambles and bushes,\nTwo roseate tushes\u2014\nHis maw and his paw who were stark 'n' raw.", "id": 13499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Just one aeon means infinite time;\nFor \"no limit\" it's totally prime.\nSo it now seems to me,\nAnd I hope you'll agree,\nThat these aeons lack reason, not rhyme.", "id": 13534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Form a nice arithmetic progression,\nAdding d to each a in succession,\nThen the sum's called a series\n(Or so say the theories).\nThe total's a simple expression.", "id": 13535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "My scrotum's as big as Malaysia,\nBut don't let the looks of it faze ya.\nI know you're appalled,\nBut it's medically called\nAbdominoscrotal dysplasia.", "id": 13536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The Baltic States: one is Estonia,\nWhich, with Latvia, took in Livonia.\nLithuania's next,\nMaking three \u2014 all quite vexed\nWhen the USSR said,  \"We own ya.\"", "id": 13537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Here's some info that might leave you floored:\nSomething boardlike resembles a board,\nAnd all things shaped like planks,\nIf they could, would say, \"Thanks!\nThat description should not be ignored!\"", "id": 13538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Napoleon Bonaparte swore\nTo conquer all Europe by war.\nAlthough vanquished and banished,\nFrom Elba he vanished.\nLes Cent Jours saw him ruling once more.", "id": 13539, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "-ability lets a verb thrive\nIn the form of a noun (sakes alive!)\nFor the way that things act\nOr are acted on. (Fact:\nDriveability follows from drive.)", "id": 13540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Argentinian australs are dough\nThat you spend at a store or a show.\n A financial inspection\n And austral projection\nTells kids what they'll get when you go.", "id": 13541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "My duty's distracted, betrayed!\nThis accursedly beautiful maid\n  Has purloined my attention.\n  I'll yield to convention:\nWith lemons, you make lemonade.", "id": 13542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I've authored these pamphlets to tell\nOf the sounding of doom.  Hear the knell!\n   You'd best send me your money\n   As quick as a bunny.\nYou don't and you're goin' to hell!", "id": 13543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "In the lee of the loo did it lie:\nWasn't pee, wasn't poo, wasn't pie.\nIt could be it was blue...\n\"Yes,\" said she, \"It's the shoe\nThat I see.  Don't tell Sue, or she'll sigh.\"", "id": 13544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "My bones give my body a frame.\nTo the world I will proudly proclaim:\n\"Autoskeletons rule,\nBut a shell sure ain't cool\u2014\nExoskeletons simply are lame!\"", "id": 13545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When the ACTU starts to pout,\nAussies know that they're in for a bout\nOf industrial action.\nThe petulant faction\nWon't play until everyone's out.", "id": 13547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The blowies are buzzing that coot\u2014\nYou can tell from his Barcoo salute.\nHe's been waving all day,\nBut they won't go away.\nThey must reckon his noggin's a fruit.", "id": 13548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "chakaal", "limerick": "The Bastille's a big hoosegow in France\nWhose guards, at the mob, stared askance.\n'Twas a guard who first shot.\n\"Sans-Culottes\", perforce, fought\nIn spite of their shortage of pants!", "id": 13549, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Watch out for my brother: he'll grill ya\nSome bits of a cow that'll kill ya.\nTake a shooftee at that\u2014\nBloody loaded with fat.\n(Mate, chuck us anotherie, will ya?)", "id": 13550, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "As Bugs, Mr Blanc was just swell,\nAnd as Tweety and Porky as well.\nNow he's gone, R.I.P.\n\"Th-th-thee-th-th-thee-\nth-th-thee-th-that's all, folks!\" from Mel.", "id": 13551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Law", "limerick": "For photons that propagate through\nFiber optics (and atmospheres too),\nThere's always a smattering\n(Lost to backscattering)\nDually waving at you.", "id": 13552, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Birth of Venus by S. Botticelli\nShows a body to die for, her belly\nA beauteous pearl\u2014\nSo is that why the girl\nWas allotted a dais so shelly?", "id": 13553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Francis Bacon dissected his grief\nUsing butcherly pictures of beef\nHanging red in the frame;\nAs for figures, his aim\nWas to blur them beyond all belief.", "id": 13554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My favourite paintings by far\nBy Parisian artist Bonnard\nShow the stretchiest cats\nAnd young women in flats\n(Our Pierre liked his femmes in boudoirs).", "id": 13555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "You're a black-hearted, venomous hack, mister\u2014\nAnd you? You're a stab in the back, sister.\nSo what if I'm red?\nLeast my conscience ain't dead\u2014\nBy Stalin's mustache, I'm no blacklister!", "id": 13556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and speedysnail", "limerick": "This database truly divided\nThe country when someone decided\nTo classify Brits\nBy their domiciles: it's\nHow each portion of business is guided.", "id": 13557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "If your calling is more than okay,\nPerhaps you should join ACA.\nIf it strikes you as odd\nTo shout \"Y'all, promenade!\"\nMaybe y'all shouldn't call, just obey.", "id": 13558, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "\"Just a color\" \u2014 It swindles our sight.\nFor colors are wavelengths of light,\nWhile the essence of black\nIs fathomless Lack \u2014\nFitting symbol of evil and blight.", "id": 13559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "As an adjective, bovine means \"slow,\"\nBut our Bessie ain't placid, you know.\nShe played soccer and hockey\n(Though started out rocky):\nHer legacy's starting to grow.", "id": 13560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "Some soldiers prefer baggy shorts\nFor the beach or when active in sports,\n'Cause a hammock, they find,\nThe banana will bind,\nAnd the privates it somewhat contorts.", "id": 13561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "EdRush", "limerick": "The Westernmost island Aleutian\nIs often a crossword solution:\nIt's Attu, whose fame\nIs a very short name\nThat is absent of much convolution.", "id": 13562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jholtzman", "limerick": "Some people may think it obscene\nTo have more than one way that you lean,\nBut for soap it's idyllic\nTo be amphiphilic:\nLoving water and oil is clean.", "id": 13563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When an aquifer's recharge location\nHas a relative high elevation,\nFrom artesian wells\nOverpressure impels\nAn eternally gushing libation.", "id": 13564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "He had hoped to be bagging a moose\nOr some bears that were still on the loose \u2014\nBut friends, antihunting,\nMade so much noise grunting,\nHe snared only hares in a noose.", "id": 13565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Poor Frankie is sick, you'll agree.\nHe's got acetonuria, see?\nHis diet's ascetic,\nOr Frank's diabetic:\nThere's ketones contained in his pee.", "id": 13566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Take a crystalline ketone: acet-\nophenone. Add some esters.  Complete!\nSmells like almond, or berry,\nOr jasmine, or cherry.\nThese resins make perfume so sweet.", "id": 13567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Mum sent me to college to wed.\n\"Get a bachelor\u2014a rich one!\" she said.\nI studied computers\n(And first-person shooters)\nAnd Bachelor-hunted instead!", "id": 13568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Elmer shot wabbits, what muddlement\nBefell him! His fall in a puddle meant\nA rush of confusion.\nA nasty contusion\nIntensified Elmer's befuddlement.", "id": 13569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Though Bosch painted heavenly sights\nIn The Garden of Earthly Delights,\nThe devils all tell\nOf its portrait of Hell,\nWhich exquisitely tortures their nights.", "id": 13570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "The appropriateness was in question:\nThe audience booed the suggestion\nThat the Lion King's roar\nWas a burp, nothing more,\nSince he suffered from bad indigestion.", "id": 13571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "This kernel is lacking a bit:\nThe top part is there, and that's it.\nThe core of the fruit\nWill not sprout or take root,\nFor you see, it's a bottomless pit.", "id": 13572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RGiskard", "limerick": "When his family would go out for ribs,\nCharlie'd always need three plastic bibs.\nOpen mouthed he would chew \u2014\nAnd the rib bits he'd spew\nBoth all over himself and his sibs.", "id": 13573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "As kids we looked forward to autumn;\nFalling leaves brushed our sleeves as we caught 'em\nTo rake in a pile\nAnd jump in for a while,\nGiving thanks for this season that brought 'em.", "id": 13574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Want a headache? Want bad indigestion\nWhen taking a test? A suggestion:\nBe unable to scrawl\nAny answer at all\nIn the blue book; just stare at the question.", "id": 13575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Aye-aye, sir, your jet's set to zoom.\nBack in port, I'll reserve you a room.\nThere's a spot that will do\nAt the base BOQ.\nYou've no spouse or SO, I assume?", "id": 13576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "In the back of the house, where we work,\nIt will frequently look like the Cirque\nDu Soleil.  It's intense;\nNight and day you will sense\nThat our restaurant kitchen's berserk.", "id": 13577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "The thyroid's a wonderful gland,\nBut watch out if it starts to expand.\nWith an aberrant goiter,\nSee a doc, do not loiter.\n(Hope the bill isn't more than you planned.)", "id": 13578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If your kid in Chicago is sick\nWith cancer or blood disease (ick!),\nYou should not loaf about\nOr just sit there and pout.\nGet to Herbert T. Abelson quick!", "id": 13579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Jane wailed, \"Crap! I abhor getting older.\nOh, why am I not a bondholder?\"\nInstead she owned stocks\n(Which are subject to shocks)\nThat her stockbroker shamelessly sold her.", "id": 13580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Of Henry the Eighth (six times wedded),\nTales are told, and of ladies he bedded.\nNumber two, Anne Boleyn,\nHenry's heart did not win.\nIn Londontown she was beheaded.", "id": 13581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "For your bowsprit to work and not fail,\nHold it tight with a rope, not a nail.\nA thick bobstay will hold\nIt.  Your foremast won't fold,\nSo it's off to the sea for your sail.", "id": 13582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Spirits dwell in all things: Though simplistic,\nThis phrase can define animistic.\nJust the thought makes me cower\u2014\nThat mat in my shower?\nI fear it would turn voyeuristic.", "id": 13583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "As I face losing face in last place,\nI must free ATP for the chase.\nI'd embrace a strong brace\nLaced with apyrase trace\nFor a pace far apace of the race.", "id": 13584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Like a nuclear wolf, I am glowing,\nOr perhaps there's a deer in me growing.\nIt's fauna, not flora,\nControlling my aura.\nMy animal spirit is showing.", "id": 13585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "An old lady once swallowed a bird in,\nWhich led to excess biliverdin.\nThe green in her bile\nWas really quite vile,\nAnd the children began how absurd-in'.", "id": 13586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When your vermiform thingie's infected,\nBetter hope it's not long undetected.\nIt is known as appen-\ndicitis; that's when\nYour appendix must be disconnected.", "id": 13587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "I was saddened to depths Acheronian\nWhen my favorite mag, the Smithsonian,\nWrote a rant about Styx\n(That's the band).  Think I'll nix\nMy subscription and go Rolling Stonian.", "id": 13588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I reached out to my right, grabbed a hand\nWhen the dance caller yelled, \"Allemande!\"\nBut the caller said, \"No!\nLink your arms just like so.\nPlease try it once more, understand?\"", "id": 13589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "My doctors are gravely emphatic:\nI'm in serious trouble hepatic.\nBut for now, one last fling,\nSince I don't feel a thing.\nFor the moment, I'm asymptomatic.", "id": 13590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "AHD is a strange kind of sickness\nThat results from a tapewormy ick-ness.\nAlveolar hydatid\nMeans those worms rioted,\nCysting your liver with quickness.", "id": 13591, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "Father Matthew was every monk's friend,\nAnd his counsel was sure to transcend\nWith words holy and sage,\nTill the hand of old age\nSpelled his thirty-year abbacy's end.", "id": 13592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Oh, my sad archegonial egg . . .\nLeft alone like a fully drained keg.\nWhat I need now to breed:\nAntheridia seed!\nThis dry spell has forced me to beg.", "id": 13593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Plan on jumping volcanoes in Java?\nKeep from cooking your bean like a fava.\nUnderneath your hard cap\nWear a full-headed wrap:\nAn asbestos-lined wool balaclava.", "id": 13594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "She said to her hubby, \"Oh Lee,\nIs this outfit becoming to me?\"\nTo say \"Yes\" would be wrong,\nSo he answered, \"As long\nAs the bill won't be coming to me.\"", "id": 13595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The town that was once called Grand Chute\nHas a name now that honors our fruit.\nThat was more than enough,\n'Til a history buff\nSaid it's actually named for a suit.", "id": 13596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A man, an Arkansan from Hope,\nWent from humble beginnings to lope\nRound the White House at night\nSeeking women who might\nBe disposed to a squeeze or a grope.", "id": 13597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Last night when you tried your new tactic,\nYou brought me to places climactic.\nThe way my head swirled\nWas way out of this world\u2014\nNo, much better: 'twas anagalactic!", "id": 13598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Biloxi is coastal in Miss.,\nThe home of casinos \u2014 but hiss!\nKatrina has ravaged,\nAnd looters have savaged,\nThis city the sun likes to kiss.", "id": 13599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "It was Barrie who wrote of the boys\nWho vowed never to give up their toys,\nWith their Neverland plan\nAnd their boss, Peter Pan.\nQuite the fame which Sir James still enjoys!", "id": 13600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An oracle's somebody smart\nWho can forecast the future, impart\nGood advice, Delphic style\nTo the ancient Greeks, while\nAn auricle's part of the heart.", "id": 13601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Armadilli-, combining with diidae,\nNames bugs, not the garden variety.\nThey're isopods, all,\nWho get small when they fall\nAnd roll up in a ball of anxiety.", "id": 13603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When the talent scout called me inept,\n\"Your remarks have no aptness,\" I wept.\n\"The juggling life calls!\"\nBut I did drop those balls . . .\nSo perhaps, then, I am unadept.", "id": 13604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Depression advanced by the hour\nIn Esther, a delicate flower.\nThough she knew that her bell jar\nWas surely a swell jar,\nHer mood was increasingly dour.", "id": 13605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I fear that insanity's looming\u2014\nI'm blossoming daisies and zooming,\nMy elbows entwined.\nThink I'm out of my mind?\nWell, at least I'm not out of my blooming!", "id": 13606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An expert at poker, the player\nBet stakes made of wood to dismay her.\nHe shuffled the deck\nAnd inspected her neck:\nHe was bluffing the vampire slayer.", "id": 13607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Each basement's a bargain, I've found,\nIn a building surrounded by ground.\nSince the prices are low\nDown below, don't you know,\nThey're the best-selling cellars around.", "id": 13608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A blind man in London expresses\nAnnoyance at envelope messes.\nHis post-office calling?\nDeciphering scrawling\nTo guess the addressees' addresses.", "id": 13609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Eleven benevolent orders\nOf Elks were acquisitive hoarders\nOf dues, which they squandered;\nTheir leaders have wandered\nAcross international borders.", "id": 13610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I learned in anatomy class\nThat my elbow has muscular mass:\nIts extensor's a triceps,\nIts flexor's a biceps,\nAnd neither resembles my ass.", "id": 13611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Blanchimeters test the degree\nOf the whitening power we see\nIn our potash; their gauges\nWon't measure the rages\nOf Brando and Vivien Leigh.", "id": 13612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In my biotelemetry lab\nI can measure the mass of a crab\nAs it scuttles about.\nIf it varies, I shout,\n\"Walking sideways reduces its flab!\"", "id": 13613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a shotgun's stiff cartridge or shell it\nBelongs; it's a BB\u2014a pellet.\nWhen shooting a finch,\nYou should shave it a pinch.\nFrom an airgun expelled, it'll fell it.", "id": 13614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Bangorian crisis exploded\n'Round Hoadly, a bishop who goaded\nKing George to besmirch\nA non-heavenly Church,\nAnd its secular power eroded.", "id": 13615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The art critic shuddered, \"My job's\nTo evaluate paint smeared in gobs.\nShow me trees, or a face,\nOr some buds in a vase\u2014\nI'm so weary of looking at daubs!\"", "id": 13616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Celestial-minded theologists\nAre apt to become angelologists\nWho neglect earthly things\nTo seek beings with wings\nThat elude our mundane ornithologists.", "id": 13617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "This limerick's over my head,\nThough I worked 'til my knuckles got red.\nWith my mucky line three\nIt just couldn't be,\nSo instead I just hid in my bed.", "id": 13618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Mister Scoutmaster, give me a bed!\nEven one that folds up,\" Jimmy pled.\n\"Make me sleep like a tramp\nAnd I won't go to camp\nAnd that's final,\" the boycotter said.", "id": 13619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Amarelle: an unusual cherry.\nIt's so pale and so sour that it's scary.\nIt can only produce\nRather colorless juice\n(Though the depth of its clearness may vary).", "id": 13620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "I was banned from my neighborhood zoo\nWhen I used \"monkey see monkey do\"\nAs a justification\nFor my imitation\nOf animals throwing their poo.", "id": 13621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "In the mosque said Imam Ibrahim:\n\"Bismillahi rahmani rahim:\nLest we go astray,\nTo Allah we must pray,\nSeeking only His will most supreme!\"", "id": 13622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Next time you're aboard a ship, mull\nOver who's been maintaining the hull.\nHe's the boatswain by rank;\nIf the ship ever sank,\nThen his efforts would all come to null.", "id": 13623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Are you finding your life too chaotic?\nStress and strife have you feeling neurotic,\nSighing, \"O, that I might\nBe like wind or like light\"?\nWell, you can't, because they're abiotic!", "id": 13624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The Bulgarian priest Bogomil\nHad a dualist truth to reveal.\nHe said Jesus's brother\nWas Satan, no other!\n(This schism took decades to heal.)", "id": 13625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Want to make your own telephone pole?\nFirst, harvest a tree for its bole.\nThen, the trunk disencumber\nOf bark. You've got lumber;\nSome tweaks and you'll soon reach your goal!", "id": 13626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "A guest in the pub cried \"Forsooth!\nThe service here's truly uncouth,\nFor children abound\nIn the kitchen... I've found\nIn the chowder a *gak* baby tooth!\"", "id": 13627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jeff Bremer", "limerick": "If acidophilic, you're prone\nTo prefer a less alkaline zone.\nBut your secret desire\nIs something much higher:\nTo be Timothy Leary's first clone.", "id": 13628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When the set's to Mike Leigh's satisfaction,\nAnd he's driving the crew to distraction,\nThen the \"Lights!\" will be shone\nAnd the \"Cameras!\" roll on,\nSo the cast should be ready for \"Action!\"", "id": 13629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "There once was a butcher named Baker,\nWho wanted to meet with his Maker.\nBut he feared that his God\nWould conclude, \"Well, that's odd.\"\nThe Almighty might think him a faker!", "id": 13630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I say, Cambridge freshers\u2014let's hop\nOn our bikes and head off to the bop!\nWho can bear to revise\nWhen the glittering prize\nOf a disco tempts punters to stop?", "id": 13631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "Your smell is disgusting! Your rankness\nAppalls me; and yet, your sheer blankness\nOf facial expression\nIs clearly confession \u2014\nYou won't take offence at my frankness.", "id": 13632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Just in case you have harbored the notion\nThere's no life on the floor of the ocean \u2014\nDeep divers find squads\nOf small amphipods\nEntrenched in perpetual motion.", "id": 13633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Abubble's enthused; bright's aglow.\nAbuzz is excitedly so.\nAgog, interest grows,\nAbounds, overflows.\nIf adoze, off to sleep one did go.", "id": 13634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "With athlete's foot athletes cry, \"Foul.\"\nThe pain and the itch make them scowl.\n'Tween their toes, ringworm grows.\nAre we led to suppose\nThat spacemen get missiletoe? [Growl]", "id": 13635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I shout to the warden-in-chief\nThat I've spotted a back-berend thief\nOn the forested track\nWith a buck on his back:\n\"There's the venison! Now\u2014where's the beef?\"", "id": 13636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Are you wanting a dog (an obscure 'un,\nLike President Martin Van Buren)\nWith fawn-colored hair\nAnd black tips, to take care\nOf your sheep? Try a Belgian Tervuren.", "id": 13637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"Please, bring me some water!\" I cry.\n\"I'm feeling completely adry!\nFetch a glass or a cup;\nHurry, please, fill it up...\nOh, and add a few jiggers of rye.\"", "id": 13638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Behove is the same as behoove,\nWhich is handy to know in case you've\nGot a fear of paired O's\n(Which, as everyone knows,\nIs a phobia hard to remove).", "id": 13639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The mall was completely aswarm \u2014\nFilled with people, a mob without form.\nIf I'd wanted a crowd\nSo annoying and loud,\nThen I could've stayed back in my dorm.", "id": 13640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Argilaceous means \"like, or of, clay\";\nIt's a word that I use every day.\nWhen beset by some jerk\nOn the street or at work,\n\"Is your brain argilaceous?\" I say.", "id": 13641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Unconscious or blind inclination\nToward beliefs without verification\u2014\nOne-sided perspective\nIs rarely reflective:\nOur bias defies cogitation.", "id": 13642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "There once was an auriform mouse\nWho waltzed all around his old house.\nThough he looked like an ear,\nHe no longer could hear,\nAnd missed listening to music by Strauss.", "id": 13643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "HeuristicsInc", "limerick": "There once was a bookseller, Dee,\nWho was giving her books out for free.\nNot a penny she earned;\nHere's the lesson she's learned:\n\"A library loans, but not me.\"", "id": 13644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "There's a poet, a bard known to preen,\nWho writes epics both long and obscene,\nBut OEDILF and he sparred,\nHis raw limericks barred.\nHe's locked out 'til his language is clean.", "id": 13645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jsolomon", "limerick": "From the rooftop, the music had blared.\nIn the building the tempers had flared.\nWhen the kid on the flute\nSaw the first big ol' brute\nHe just fled so his neck would be spared.", "id": 13646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "A wild bull in a china shop's aisle\nMoves aggressively, slipping on tile;\nWhen his clumsy horns shake,\nAll the dishes will break.\nBovine barging leaves bisque in a pile.", "id": 13647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hermez", "limerick": "So caught up in our lovemaking tactics,\nWe forgot to apply prophylactics.\nNow my breasts, they secrete\nMore than baby can eat,\nSo they've put me on antigalactics.", "id": 13648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hermez", "limerick": "My big toe is swollen, no doubt\n'Cause my antipodagrics ran out.\nThis pain is distressing;\nThose drugs are a blessing.\nThey always help out with my gout.", "id": 13649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "For the sea depth,  employ our bathymeter \u2014\nAt its essence, an inverse altimeter.\nYou maritime hero!\n(If the reading is zero,\nYou're checking the ocean's perimeter.)", "id": 13650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "A blimp pilot never forgets\nThat an airship employs ballonettes.\nThey are used when one must\nSteer, reshape, or adjust.\nIf that's worrisome, learn to fly jets.", "id": 13651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "The wee gymnast performed in Korea,\nBut sadly she had no idea\nThat the price of her talents,\nWith her weight in the balance,\nWas the onset of amenorrhea.", "id": 13652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The Booths were American actors\nEncumbered by negative factors.\nYou know what I'm thinkin'?\nWhat John did to Lincoln\nEmboldened those actors' detractors.", "id": 13653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Something added that isn't essential\nIs appurtenant (nearly tangential),\nLike my post-lim'rick note,\nOf which some might say, quote:\n\"That's exceedingly self-referential!\"", "id": 13654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "An abassi was given to me\nBy a visiting, foppish marquis.\n'Twas a coin he'd dispense\nThat was worth twenty cents\nBack in Persia in nineteen-aught-three.", "id": 13655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Could I live as cheaply as he\nBy subsisting abstemiously?\nTo act like a saint\u2014\nEat and drink with restraint\u2014\nWould create a monotonous me.", "id": 13656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "I was first born where Truth's hard to find,\nIn a world where the blind lead the blind.\nBut the Truth found me then:\nI have been born again\u2014\nA rebirth of the soul and the mind.", "id": 13657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In a language like Classical Greek,\nUse the aorist verb form (how chic!).\nIt gives no indication\nOf an action's duration\nOr completion, thus adding mystique.", "id": 13658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A beanbag is barely a chair.\nA dozer is barely aware.\nThe sun almost down,\nA gossamer gown,\nAnd a shadow are all barely there.", "id": 13659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Here's a man in a boat on a lake.\nHe is napping, asleep, not awake,\nSo oblivious, he\nDrifts away anchor free.\nSeems his dreaming's a floating mistake.", "id": 13660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Get your toilet bowl leak to abate.\nTurn the ball valve until it is straight.\nGrip the handle with ease.\nTurn it ninety degrees.\nCut the water supply off. Don't wait!", "id": 13661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Teenaged girls can be vicious and vile.\n\"Former Friend\" is expelled with a smile.\nBanned and banished, she falls;\nNo more trips to the malls.\nShe's been blackballed for shoes out of style.", "id": 13662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "A mason or joiner will revel,\nIn setting plans off with his bevel.\nIf his angle's all wrong,\nAnd attention's not strong,\nHis work and his head won't be level.", "id": 13663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The antiterrorism debate\nHas been used as a reason of late\nTo take, every day,\nSome more freedoms away\nIn the name of securing the state.", "id": 13664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "Deep in Canada's wilderness lands,\nYour attention the blackfly commands.\nFor unless DEET is sprayed\nOn the skin that's displayed,\nThe bug's bite and your blood will change hands.", "id": 13665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "An interesting verse? Got me beat!\nI've had to admit my defeat.\nSo it's dull, but I'll risk it.\nAbernethy: a biscuit \u2014\nAs bland to define as to eat.", "id": 13666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Though none of it's made too much sense,\nYour babbling has been so intense,\nFor the whole morning long \u2014\nAnd you're still going strong \u2014\nYou blatteroon, why don't you condense?", "id": 13667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I'm about to turn 50.  I dread\nGrowing old; I'll just stay here in bed.\nStill, I have to confess,\nThough I feel like a mess,\nHaving birthdays sure beats being dead.", "id": 13668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le and Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Acoustic pressure is all about sound\u2014\nPressure changes when sound moves around.\n(Here's a pressure refresher:\nPascals measure pressure\nAs melons are measured by pound.)", "id": 13669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olioil", "limerick": "There are times when life seems pretty hopeless\nAnd I seem to be able to cope less.\nBy painting with blue\n(That's azure to you),\nThen my humour returns and I mope less.", "id": 13670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The thieves' padding footfalls were stifled;\nWith modern-day weapons they trifled.\nOne arquebus gone,\nToo precious to pawn:\nAn unrifled matchlock was rifled.", "id": 13671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Baron of Sandwich I be, man.\nNot gentry\u2014a merchant, that's me, man.\nSince I serve a Cinque Port\nIn the Commons, I sport\nA baronial title, though freeman.", "id": 13672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Josef Albers, a painter of squares\n(One inside of the other, so there's\nA whole series, in fact),\nLiked his paintings abstract;\nPart of Bauhaus, those guys with the chairs.", "id": 13673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "If you've had it with skins that are light,\nHate them all, and consider them blight,\nYou may have some issues\nWith others' skin tissues\nAnd soon you'll be called antiwhite.", "id": 13674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "The U.S. Constitution's dependable;\nIt lives and it breathes \u2014 it's amendable.\nBut do so with care;\nSome additions impair,\nAnd can cause strain and strife undefendable.", "id": 13675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "Amoxil's an antibiotic:\nThat's a drug, but it's not a narcotic.\nAugmentin or Trimox\nGoes great with a Primox,\nBut allergies make it chaotic.", "id": 13676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "Tim's guests said, \"Your hoedown's a crock!\nThat banjo is really a clock!\"\n'Twas a truly sad day\nWhen he started to play\nAnd the only sound heard was \"tick-tock.\"", "id": 13677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "He called me a \"bawcock\" \u2014 he's yellow!\n\"I'll kill you!\" it caused me to bellow.\nAnd I started a brawl \u2014\nBut I'm not proud at all,\nFor it turned out to mean \"a fine fellow\".", "id": 13678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A curvaceous young vixen was she.\nI drew near for I wanted to see\nIf I had enough nerve\nTo approach such a curve,\nAsymptotically though that may be.", "id": 13679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "While I'm hearing the teacher, I know\nMy cognition's adrift, to and fro.\nThough I'm bodily here\nThere's no auding, I fear,\nFor my brain's suffered math overflow.", "id": 13680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The cannibals rubbed down the pole\nWith peppercorns, crushed in a bowl.\nAs they tied up their prey,\nShe heard one of them say,\n\"Stake au poivre's not that bad, on the whole.\"", "id": 13681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "As Dwight's father delivered the trite,\n\"Two wrongs, son, do not make a right,\"\nDwight retorted a deft,\n\"But three rights make a left!\"\nAs adroitly, Dad grounded young Dwight.", "id": 13682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Evolution: it's time that we ended\nTeaching kids that from apes we descended,\nNot because some contended\nID is more splendid:\nI'm told that the apes are offended.", "id": 13683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jantine Bootsman", "limerick": "When you're out manufacturing glue\nOr plastics or paint-thinner, you\nNeed buckets of this.\nYes, acetol's bliss\u2014\nOh, and perfect for cleaning stuff too.", "id": 13684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "When my analyst, old Dr. Crandall,\nAsked me why I had broken the handle\nOff the tap on his sink\nI replied, with a wink,\n\"'Cause my inner child, Doc, is a vandal.\"", "id": 13685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "I spent youth in a state of tumidity,\nHotly chasing what now seems cupidity.\nBut now that I'm old\nI've been sapped by the cold;\nI've grown limp from pernicious algidity.", "id": 13686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "My spirits are down, I confess.\nO, woe atrabiliousness!\nPerhaps some bad food\nHas affected my mood,\nAnd has given me gastric distress.", "id": 13687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Accustomance: use that's habitual.\nTo affirm if this term might just fit you well,\nAssess the duration\nOf your new affectation.\nIs your use an abuse or just ritual?", "id": 13688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "There are bimetal probes all around\nTo read temp; in this use they abound.\nTwo wires placed in conjunction\nProvide us a function\nBy which voltage from heat may be found.", "id": 13689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "After A but ahead of the rest,\nIt's still a good mark on a test.\nThough it's just second place,\nA B is still ace,\nFor without it we can't have \"the best\"!", "id": 13690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "A buffer can counter a trace\nOf alkali (a.k.a. base).\nAcid and it\nBoth readily fit\nIn antalkali's neutral embrace.", "id": 13691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "If you want to get 'warts' from a 'straw'\nThen inversion's the requisite law\n456, 654;\nROY-G-BIV, VIB-G-YOR\u2014\nThey're backwards with nary a walf!", "id": 13692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "dave newton", "limerick": "The azoic (before life began)\nWas a time much less interesting than\nWhen the birth of mankind\nMade the Earth unrefined,\nAnd the anthropozoic began.", "id": 13693, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "In America, when you take part in\nA blood drive, recall Clara Barton.\nShe was founder and boss\nOf the US Red Cross\n(One of several such groups she'd been startin').", "id": 13694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Irene Weber", "limerick": "I filmed this in under a day.\nThe spaceship was made from red clay,\nBut still my B movie\nWas suave and quite groovy.\nA perfect cult classic, they say.", "id": 13695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Irene Weber", "limerick": "He was filled with a terrible malice\nWhen he learned of the murder of Alice.\nAvenging her death,\nHe did in the foul Beth\nWith the poison he put in her chalice.", "id": 13696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Atmolysis \u2014 this is the act\nOr the process by which I extract\nA gas from a gas;\nAt diverse rates they pass\nThrough a plate. That's a little known fact.", "id": 13697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My friend Jennifer gets all the action\u2014\nTwice her share of the sweet satisfaction.\nWhy's it doubled for Jen?\nShe dates women and men:\nA bisexual kind of attraction.", "id": 13698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Accelerated (fast) hypertension:\nYour blood pressure needs intervention.\nIts precipitous rise\nHits your kidneys and eyes,\nAs your blood vessels voice their dissension.", "id": 13699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"She's a woman; she's not a possession.\nGive her dreams your support, not suppression.\"\nDad's admonitive words\nWere, I thought, for the birds,\nTill she left.  Now I rue my transgression.", "id": 13700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Often radiant energy (light)\nBrings a chemical change into sight;\nPhotographic emulsion\nWill drive the compulsion\nOf actino-chemistry's flight.", "id": 13701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "In Denmark, the prince wasn't seeing\nAny purpose in fighting nor fleeing,\nSo Hamlet, embittered\nAnd hopeless, considered\nAn end, by his hand, to his being.", "id": 13702, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My bibulous uncle Geppetto\nCan handle his aged amaretto,\nBut tonight drinking whisky\nHe got kinda frisky,\nThen stood up to sing Rigoletto.", "id": 13703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The lad's coat of arms, when revealed,\nShowed a border surrounding the field.\nIt's a bold shade of green\n(The bordure, I mean).\nIt's a fifth of the width of the shield.", "id": 13704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Abu Simbel's above the lake's muds,\nWith its temples once carved out by spuds.\nRamses II put himself\nUp on deities' shelf;\nEven higher, he's saved from the floods.", "id": 13705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "That a pipe in the rock, deeply planted,\nCan yield water, most folks take for granted.\nHow sweet water is fed\nThrough an aquifer bed\nIs a mystery almost enchanted.", "id": 13706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Parenthetical phrases are fit\n'Twixt these symbols in text that you've writ:\nThey're a way you can show\n(So the reader will know)\nYour intent to digress for a bit.", "id": 13707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "So your favorite alcohol brew\nIs layered (say, B-52)?\nIf you're trained in barology,\nYou'll need no apology,\nFor the science of weight you construe.", "id": 13708, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "He's a monster, so ugly and tall;\nLittle children he's looking to maul.\nThe bogeyman's here\u2014\nHe will fill you with fear!\n(But he didn't scare Lauren Bacall.)", "id": 13710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Little twelve-month-old Johnny was pleased\nWith the food that he flung when he sneezed.\nOh, he knew he was cute\nThrowing veggies and fruit,\nAnd he knew that his mom was appeased!", "id": 13711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "When I ate that burrito as urged,\nMy potential for flatulence surged.\nAbdominal pressure!\nI felt so much fresher\nOnce gaseous emissions emerged.", "id": 13712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "An Assyriologist, Joan,\nHad traveled to Baghdad alone\nVia quaint Abu Dhabi.\nShe digs Hammurabi,\nWhose code had been carved in black stone.", "id": 13713, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A warrant was issued today\nIn Texas. It had this to say:\n\"We order detainment,\nAnd next the arraignment\nOf Thomas 'The Hammer' DeLay.\"", "id": 13714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "The forensic accountant's aplomb\nWas apparent when dropping this bomb:\n\"As our audit trails show,\nThere's extensive cash flow\nTo a veep of this conked out dot-com.\"", "id": 13715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "It flavors, and makes some food thick;\nAnd emusifies fats really quick.\nIt is Arabic gum,\nCalled acacia by some \u2014\nIn your hair, it makes bubble gum stick.", "id": 13716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "You know, ambergris (found in entrails\nOf leviathans, not in their tails)\nIs in perfume and food.\nThat's why Pequod pursued\nMoby Dick, a.k.a. Prince of Whales.", "id": 13717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "She abandoned me here in my truck,\nOut of town, out of cash, out of luck.\nShe took my new shoes\nAnd my bottle of booze.\nI'm alone and I'm feeling a schmuck.", "id": 13718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Right into the boondocks I blunder.\nHave I entered the backwoods? I wonder.\nThough it's strange as a black box,\nI'm now in the backblocks\u2014\nThe name for the boonies, Down Under.", "id": 13719, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One magical, soft summer night\nI encountered a wonderful sight.\nOn an evening in June\nWith a brilliant full moon\nI saw Actias moths in full flight.", "id": 13720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There once was a woman from Krobia\nWho suffered such strong acrophobia\nThat the couch was too high,\nSo her shrink said, \"Juzt lie\nOn ze floor at my feet vhile I probe ya.\"", "id": 13721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Every chef in Botswana says, \"Sorry,\nOur menu lacks fried calamari.\"\nAround Gaborone\nYou're bound to hear \"No! Nay!\"\n(No squid in the vast Kalahari...)", "id": 13722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Its battle with England had failed.\nThe Armada lost heart and then sailed\nRound the north of Great Britain,\nWhere sorely 'twas smitten\nBy sinkings as storm winds prevailed.", "id": 13723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olioil", "limerick": "When the mind is quite absent upstairs,\nWell, you can't send it in for repairs.\nYou just have to make do.\nSo come up with some clue,\nAnd your talk will not bring all those glares.", "id": 13724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "In Britain a bird is a girl \u2014\nA beauty inspiring a twirl.\nLike a dove, she will coo\nIf she fancies your woo;\nIn your arms all her charms will unfurl.", "id": 13725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "No admirer will Boswellize me\u2014\nMake a record of who came to tea,\nAccount for my dough,\nNote my every bon mot\u2014\nI've done nothing of interest, you see.", "id": 13727, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's not one English word we'll be leaving,\nBelieving it's worth the achieving.\nWe're bound to get through it!\nDon't think we can do it?\nA-to-Z-ing's (like seeing's) believing.", "id": 13728, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "In olde London one didn't transgress,\nFor a bilbo would make you confess.\nThe crown warden, dyslexic \u2014\n\"b\" or \"d\"? So perplexic!\nBut such pleasure was had by Queen Bess.", "id": 13729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Take account of the words you provide;\nMore expense for twinned letters inside.\nNeed some words you can show\nWith three pairs in a row?\nJust keep bookkeeping fully supplied.", "id": 13730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Now observe: if intrusively, \"tru\".\nOh so counterintuitive, \"tu\"?\nIt's the syllable third\nFrom the back of the word.\nYou old antepenultima, you.", "id": 13731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Financiers known as Belt and Suspenders\nThink of caution as one of their splendors.\nThey take pains to ensure\nA transaction secure\nIf they borrowers be, or if lenders.", "id": 13732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "In the service of Czars, Vitus Bering\nUndertook expeditions quite daring.\nThus the Sea and the Strait\nThat he sailed with his mate\nHis surname are currently sharing.", "id": 13733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "If to Akiak, Alaska you fly,\nThen your baggage is tagged AKI.\nIf your suitcase gets lost,\nAnd you get a good frost,\nStay inside, where you'll keep warm and dry.", "id": 13734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "When you're broke and want cash in your palms,\nTo the almonry go without qualms,\nWhere a man called an almoner\nGives the poor commoner\nNeeded allotments of alms.", "id": 13735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Daniel Boone, on the western frontier,\nBlazed the Wilderness Road, without fear,\nThrough the Cumberland Gap\nWithout compass or map;\nQuite a crowd-hating, brave pioneer.", "id": 13736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "arnie", "limerick": "There was an old man from Brazil\nWho fell on a massive anthill.\nAll the ants did attack\nThis delicious new snack\nAnd their bites made him feel very ill.", "id": 13737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "arnie", "limerick": "An ache is a kind of a pain;\nYou felt it from getting the cane.\nThe pain is not sharp,\nThough many folk carp\nOr blame minor aches on the rain.", "id": 13738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aragorn, lengthy abider,\nIs Elessar, Estel, and Strider.\nWhen Eowyn mopes\nAnd laments her lost hopes,\nHer Hope is there standing beside her.", "id": 13739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ellla B.", "limerick": "Sweet, dig in and enjoy the buffet;\nOn your way, try the lovely bouch\u00e9e.\nSuch light pastry, this,\nAphrodite's sly kiss.\nBet you'll want to head home right away!", "id": 13740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My barrel, abutting my hammer\nAnd anvil, accumulates clamor.\nThe sound in this cave\nWill transmit with a wave\nOf vibrations the words that you yammer.", "id": 13741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Macbeth would have Duncan's position,\nSpilling blood for his vaulting ambition.\nThe sound of the bell\nIs, for Duncan, a knell.\nFear Macduff, though; the thane holds suspicion.", "id": 13742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Whenever young Fern gets the chance,\nShe buys more of these flowerless plants.\nShe explains how they grow,\n\"They're acrogenous, so\nFrom the tips of their stems they advance.\"", "id": 13743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Acidic: sharp-tasting or sour;\nOf an acid, possessing the power\nTo corrode many metals\nAnd harm flower petals,\nMaking caustic a gentle rain shower.", "id": 13746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "If a lover your heart swiftly steals\nAnd then cruelly his love he repeals,\nBe assured, his own lust\nWill avenge what's unjust.\nIneluctably, time wounds all heels.", "id": 13747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Adult entertainment is honey\nTo a guy with an eye for a bunny\nWith a bod to admire,\nAs she strips her attire,\nAnd her client of all of his money.", "id": 13748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A balloon is an object inflatable\nWhose usefulness, burst, is debatable.\nSuch outcomes foreseeable,\nBoth dull and agreeable,\nAre said to be anticipatable.", "id": 13749, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An arithmetician once tried\nTo multiply, add, and divide\nSets of numbers he'd found\nTo describe objects round\nBut the effort just left him pi-eyed.", "id": 13750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "I'm approaching my birthday with dread\nAs 40 swirls round in my head.\nI just cannot handle\nThat one extra candle;\nI'm using base twelve now instead.", "id": 13751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "He loves us and yet lets us die.\nEven knowing the truth he will lie.\nHe uses his morals\nTo justify quarrels.\nHe sure is a real backward guy.", "id": 13754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Scottish-born architect Adam\nWould design mighty mansions and clad 'em\nIn stone and in brick;\nAll the nobs got in quick,\nSo to boast at their banquets, \"We had 'im.\"", "id": 13755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many slalomers love to be free\nAs they zoom down the slopes with esprit.\nWhile they zigzag and dodge,\nI relax in the lodge.\n'Cause, you see, I prefer apr\u00e8s-ski.", "id": 13756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "It's been true ever since I was young:\nI'm apivorous, so I've been stung\nOn my fingers and thumbs\nAnd my lips and my gums\u2014\nBut those bees taste so sweet on my tongue!", "id": 13757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "As per usual, I'm running late.\nIt's my typical, natural state.\nIt's my regular way\nTo arrive with delay\nFor a party, my job, or a date.", "id": 13758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Peninah", "limerick": "It would add to my parents' minds' ease\nIf you all would just please, pretty please,\nTry to stay on this side\nOf appropriate. I'd\nRather  not  hear of birds or of bees.", "id": 13759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Peninah", "limerick": "My happy, agreeable mood,\nWhen I smile and I laugh and don't brood\u2014\nAmenability\u2014yes,\nIs amenableness.\nIt depends on which suffix you've glued.", "id": 13760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "\"Anthropomorphic, my ass!\"\nSaid the teacher in front of his class.\n\"When a mule starts to bray,\nHe's not going to pray,\nHe is only a donkey \u2014 alas!\"", "id": 13761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "Here I submit a short verse,\nDefining in manner quite terse.\nThough it isn't sublime,\nIt does rhyme and keep time.\nTo aggravate means \"to make worse.\"", "id": 13762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Dear Editor: When you revise me,\nI wish that at least you'd apprise me.\nYou've changed more than spelling,\nAnd all without telling.\nMy proofs can now often surprise me.", "id": 13763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "All power is mine here today.\nI'm the lord of the door, come what may.\n  As the Portal Premier,\n  The authority here\nWill be me. It shall close when I say.", "id": 13764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As Rob Roy sallied forth with his men\nTo drive the Brits out of the glen,\nFrom his sporran and kilt\nTo his sword's basket hilt,\nHe looked like a hero, back then.", "id": 13766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A man's head, in Ching China, was graced\nWith a pigtail that hung to the waist.\nTo part with one's hair\nShowed no mere lack of flair,\nBut a barbarous absence of taste.", "id": 13767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Each night I go out before dark,\nTake a stroll 'round the pond in the park.\nSince my mom thinks I gamble,\nI get a pre-amble:\n\"You're sure to run into a shark!\"", "id": 13768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "You speak like your tongue's made of marble;\nYour diction's, in point of fact, horr'ble,\nAnd I can't read your lips\n'Cause they're under eclipse\nBy a growth that's unruly and barbal.", "id": 13769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Agedashi: a Japanese dish\nMade of tofu that's fried (so delish!)\nServed with mirin and soy\nOn the side, so enjoy!\nHey, it's better than eating raw fish.", "id": 13770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Doctor Jones made a joke to relax us.\n\"How the axisymmetric attracts us!\"\nThen this doctor (obstetric)\nSaid, \"Look, she's symmetric,\nThat is, with respect to an axis.\"", "id": 13771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "You're aware of his slack disposition,\nYet you're paying his med-school tuition!\nA physician? You're wishin'!\nHe lacks the ambition.\nAim lower.  I'm thinking musician.", "id": 13772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Do you follow? Pronounce it (I pray it)\nAs Baile \u00c1tha Cliath; each day it\nIs spoken as \"Dublin.\"\nIn Irish, that's troublin'\u2014\nBl\u00e1th Cliath's the way that they say it.", "id": 13773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "When it's wintertime out in Nebraska,\nOr it's slick on the ice of Itaska,\nMom said we should use\u2014\nWhat's the word for those shoes\nMade of rubber? Don't know, but alaska.", "id": 13774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When sentiment has you all gushy\nAnd your feelings are turning real mushy,\nYou may mutter \"aw, shucks\"\nWhen a relative clucks\nAs she dotes on you, making you blushy.", "id": 13775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SafetyDog", "limerick": "Teutonic Jurassic stone strata\nYield quarried ambiguous data:\nReptilian creatures\nWith avian features,\nArchaeopteryx morphed our dogmata.", "id": 13776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's blowing a blizzard out there;\nIt's snowing and freezing the air.\nThe world's turning white,\nSo it's winter, all right.\nJust a shame that I'm no polar bear.", "id": 13777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "The crotchety tutor told Bev,\n\"I told you to play alla breve.\nThat means a quick duple,\nMy quavering pupil,\nSo crank it up. Give it a rev!\"", "id": 13778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "I've been trying to make my verse sing\nBut I think I'll back-burner the thing.\nI can't make it rhyme,\nAnd it's all out of time\nAnd it's totally lacking in zing!", "id": 13779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "For milk, dear, you've quite an affinity,\nAnd there's methane around your vicinity.\nYes, you stand in the mud,\nAnd will chew on your cud,\nBut Bessie, I love your bovinity.", "id": 13780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "Propeller heads use lots of slang\nWhile bit-banging code in some lang.\nI'm confused, I affirm,\nBy their ballsiest term:\nIt's their statement that UNIX can !", "id": 13781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "There are times when I cannot fulfill\nMy role as a man, if you will.\nBut thank God for Pfizer\nThe woman's no wiser:\nI'm big on that little blue pill.", "id": 13782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "An acid reaction, he said,\nChanges blue litmus paper to red.\n\"It's not a bad trip,\" he\nInformed an old hippie,\n\"So don't let it go to your head.\"", "id": 13783, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "Good things come, so they say, if you wait\nAnd forbear to complain of your fate.\nAlthough one such abider\nSaid, after she died, her\nOwn patience ran out far too late.", "id": 13784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "Enslavers could grant manumission\nAnd to win it was each slave's ambition,\nBut to free ones and twos\nWas hardly good news\nCompared to complete abolition.", "id": 13785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "\"It's just stupid!\" the sceptics all carolled,\n\"The idea should be pickled and barrelled!\nTo foretell how fates lie\nWith an arrow?\" \u2014 said I,\n\"Belomancy sure worked for King Harold.\"", "id": 13786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "\"Our teachers have no right to fine us,\nOr grade all our projects D-minus!\"\nBut we've heard this before; you're\nA barrack-room lawyer.\nYou're Lucy.  We're Charlie and Linus.", "id": 13787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "To the calf the new fence seemed quite strange:\nTwisted strands between posts.  What a change!\nSharpened wires set to prick\nCut his nose to the quick.\nThe barbed wire made him moan on the range.", "id": 13788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "With a tail, legs, and mane all of black\nAnd a reddish-brown shade front to back,\nThat bay was a steed\nWhose magic and speed\nSaved Rinaldo from Charles's attack.", "id": 13789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "In a blinding high wind, while it snowed,\nFour wheel drive's tough abilities showed:\nIn a blizzard, a Jeep,\nFaced with drifts six feet deep,\nPlowed right through with no need to be towed.", "id": 13790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "An atypical mathematician,\nI'm aghast at the thought of addition\nUsing complement (two's)\u2014\nThe result that one views\nIs subtraction. I blame the logician.", "id": 13791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "Tiger Woods is a PGA star\nAnd he shoots below par (and by far).\nSo because of his fame,\nThings he's signed with his name\nCan be sold at a price above par.", "id": 13792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "I'm in charge of this court, I admit.\nA bencher? That's me. Here I sit\nAnd consider anew\nThis young con artist who\nIs convinced that I think he's legit.", "id": 13793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"Just one moment, I'm on the bidet.\"\nShe was keeping her husband at bay\nAs she flushed the receipts\nDown the loo, then switched seats\u2014\n\"Oh, those shoes? They're a gift from Ren\u00e9e.\"", "id": 13794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In his eyes burns a fiery soul.\nThis effect (in his most tragic role)\nWas to playgoers lost\nWhen the lighting got crossed \u2014\nHe was standing inside a black hole.", "id": 13795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To get accurate algebra tallies,\nUse this method, steer clear of blind alleys.\n\"New Math\" once poked fun\nAt mnemonics I spun:\nPlease Excuse My Dear (endless) Aunt Sallies.", "id": 13796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "That matter has atoms inside,\nCreated the galaxy wide,\nIn the heart of a star\nAnd brought here from afar,\nIs to me a great matter of pride.", "id": 13797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Agent 007, I'm fond\nOf the way you attempt to abscond.\nTell me, when's your next try?\"\n\"Mister Blofeld, a spy\nNever hides\u2014as my word is my bond.\"", "id": 13798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Please pardon my ghostly complexion;\nI'm having an astral projection.\nMy spirit has fled,\nBut I'm not really dead:\nIts departure was per my direction.", "id": 13799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's a serious, praiseworthy guy,\nFighting evils that make people die,\nSo I hope that you too\nLike what Bono can do\n(Although I liked him more as The Fly).", "id": 13800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Would a pussy, an owl and a goat like\nTo put on a waterproof coat (like\nA jacket of green)\nAnd all sail a tureen?\nThey would if their vessel were boatlike.", "id": 13801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The convict was ashen and grey;\nHe was due for a lashin' that day,\nAnd a dozen, he knew,\nCould be, once they were through,\nTwenty-five here in Botany Bay.", "id": 13802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'm antiuniversity, me.\nBeing certain is difficult, see,\nSince I wandered their cloisters\nAnd ate of their oysters\nOf wisdom: I doubt, they agree.", "id": 13803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Went to uni?\" the working-men jeer.\n\"Couldn't hack a blue-collar career?\nThink you're better than us?\nWe all reckon you're sus.\nYeah, we're anti-degree around here.\"", "id": 13804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When a cyclist with tastes kinda blue\nSpotted twins, he knew just what to do:\nHe would roundly demand 'em,\n\"Let's do it in tandem\u2014\nThis bicycler's well-built for two.\"", "id": 13805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When I asked, as my cranium bled,\n\"Mister, why are you hitting my head?\"\nHe said, \"Ain't got the heart\nFor the testicle part,\nSo I'm beating yer brains out instead.\"", "id": 13806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Every time I sit down to compute,\nWith intentions the most resolute,\nThose darn pop-ups up-pop\nAnd I can't make them stop\u2014\nI'd suppress them, if I were astute.", "id": 13807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Look, why don't you take a bo-peep\nAt the shed, where the shivering sheep\nHave been shorn of their wool\u2014\nMaybe three whole bags full\u2014\nAnd are so bloody cold they've lost sleep.", "id": 13808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a territory carved from the rump\nOf our \"premier\" state, 'cos some chump\nThought that Melbourne and Sydney\nWould barney; but didn'e\nKnow Canberra would end up a dump?", "id": 13809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you reckon my body is creaking?\nIs it utter perfection you're seeking?\nWell you won't find it here\u2014\nIt's decrepit, I fear,\nAnd I'm worried that part of it's leaking.", "id": 13810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "As British stars go, he's a biggie.\nA kook in a crazy-haired wig, he\nReworks his disguise\nWith each album: surprise\nIs our Dave's middle name (also \"Ziggy\").", "id": 13811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I really don't wanna sound sharp,\nBut you say that you don't know Jean Arp?\nHe was active in Dada,\nA sculptor... still nada?\nYour pa keep you under a tarp?", "id": 13812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The expressionist art of Max Beckmann\nShowed life as a carnival\u2014heck, man,\nA circus of fools\u2014\nSo the pigheaded rules\nOf the Nazis condemned it as dreck, man.", "id": 13813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "William Blake was an artist of power,\nA mystic, a poet, a tower,\nWho held in his hand\nThe infinite sand\nOf eternity; England's wild flower.", "id": 13814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Diane Arbus's portraits beguile;\nShe would photo her candidates while\nThey uncovered their souls\nAnd the heart of their roles.\nUncanny, how rarely they'd smile.", "id": 13815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When he wanted both light and dark shown,\nAnsel Adams would get in the zone.\nWhatever the sky,\nHis mind and his eye\nGave his landscapes distinction alone.", "id": 13816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "Art critics will often berate\nA drawing or painting they hate.\nThey'll scold and they'll yell,\n\"That's ugly as hell!\"\nThey work themselves into a state.", "id": 13817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In Jurassic days, huge allosaurs\nHad no hygiene; they lived out-of-doors.\nBut if they'd worn diapers\nAnd used windshield wipers,\nTheir eyes would be clean. Not their drawers.", "id": 13818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "A king may, to someone beneath\nHim in rank or in stature, bequeath\nHis gold or his land\nOr his fair daughter's hand\n(Which sure beats a kick in the teeth).", "id": 13819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I once was a Flying Wallenda\n'Til the day that I lost my agenda.\nUnfortunately\nFor my kinfolk and me,\n\"Hang a net\" appeared in the addenda.", "id": 13820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "A blizzard down East is, like, so wind,\nWicked cold, you get freakin, like, snow-in'd.\nBut here in DC,\nSwitch on the TV,\nTen flakes . . .  and whoa! Towels are throw-in'd!", "id": 13821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In old Greece, certain shoemakers scrape\nAll their leather with knives of this shape.\nOf three half-circles made,\nIt's a beautiful blade\u2014\nPlane geometry leaves me agape!", "id": 13822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Now Abraham (boy, was he zealous!)\nSaid, \"Fellas, the girls will be jealous!\nLet's find a sharp flint\nAnd try not to squint.\nIt's time that we all get apellous.\"", "id": 13823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "With bio and geo combined,\nNature's chemistry treats us real kind.\nWith some water and soil\nMix organics that spoil\nAnd breathe easy together entwined.", "id": 13824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In a census of native Brazilians,\nThe numbers climbed fast to the millions.\nBut some data about\nLeft the answer in doubt.\nIn the end, they announced, \"There's bazillions!\"", "id": 13825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Amphibious creatures are suited\nTo be dry, or at times be abluted.\nDon't ask about frogs;\nThey have gone to the dogs,\nBecause water is subtly polluted.", "id": 13826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you see Ethiopia, seek\nThe people and lingo unique\nTo a region out there\n(Once an empire fair):\nIn Amhara, Amharic they speak.", "id": 13827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"The word aleuronic pertains\nTo a protein,\" the teacher explains,\n\"That commonly dwells\nAmong endosperm cells\nOr in outermost layers of grains.\"", "id": 13828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In this cosmos, we're all on a trip \u2014\nWe expand at a very fast clip \u2014\nAnd like overstuffed pants\nWhen our waistlines advance,\nWe're expectin' a mighty Big Rip.", "id": 13829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "If you use either hand when you write,\nAnd your left is as good as your right,\nAmbidextrous you are:\nIn the ring, you will star \u2014\n\"One-Two\" and he's out like a light.", "id": 13830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Making anapest verse is a breeze\nLike \"the man on the flying trapeze\".\nIf it's high qual-i-tee\nIt might join OED\nILF to inform and to please.", "id": 13831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "She was lovely, with eyes to bewitch\nAnd a body that gave me the itch.\nHad me under her spell;\nThen she bid me farewell,\nAnd she stole my CDs\u2014what a bitch!", "id": 13832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An ante meridiem meal\nSounds fancy. But let me reveal\nThat it's served in the morn,\nAnd pajamas are worn.\nCall it breakfast; it's sure to appeal.", "id": 13833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Way up on your horse you may sit,\nLooking noble, I have to admit.\nBut you're going so fast,\nTo the ground you'll be cast,\nSo you'd better pull hard on that bit.", "id": 13834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Need a gift to help start a romance?\nTry a bonbon, a candy from France.\n But it tastes so goodgood,\n It's unlikely you could\nGive away what you'd eat at first chance.", "id": 13835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Every strawberry \"seed\"'s an achene;\nOn the outside, they're easily seen.\nA tiny dried fruit\n(One-seeded to boot),\nEach carries the strawberry gene.", "id": 13836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "My Lord, how I do love the bourbon;\n'Tis true I do not wear the turban.\nMy religion's subscribers\nAre frequent imbibers\n(A fact that you might find disturbin').", "id": 13837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Calling mama means babe wants to eat,\nPrompting females to think, \"Ooh, how sweet!\"\nCall her ima or amah,\nMum, madre or mamma,\nTo baby, she's milk from a teat.", "id": 13838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "On the slopes, Suzy Snowflake is grieving:\n\"This exploit's beyond my achieving!\nFor how can I go\nDown a hill in the snow?\"\n(She's forgetting that skiing's believing.)", "id": 13839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "My bemusement was starting to show:\nDazed confusion, with no place to go.\nMy blind date never came.\nI, upset and in shame,\nAsked the waiter if he'd be my beau.", "id": 13840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "There's a glycerol diphosphatidyl\nCalled cardiolipin; it's vital\nIn the Wassermann test\nFor that syphilis pest,\nWhile the syphilis still lounges idle.", "id": 13841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Painful medical tests, by design,\nAre a series to see if I'm fine.\nDoc's intent is to help,\nBut rough probes make me yelp.\nSeems this battery isn't benign.", "id": 13842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A martyr-to-be from Rabat\nDreamed of heaven and virgins a lot,\nBut the bomb in his pants\nBlew up early by chance.\n(He survived, but his manhood did not.)", "id": 13843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "An achievement test claims it can show\nWhat you've learned and may still need to know:\nA proficiency test\nWith which you're assessed\nFor the standards you've fallen below.", "id": 13844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The promotion of volumes for sale,\nLike Dan Brown's new conspiracy tale,\nForms the bookselling trade,\nWhere vast fortunes are made\nJust by retailing Christ's Holy Grail.", "id": 13845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Highway carcasses biodegrade\nWhen bacteria eat what cars slayed.\nDead raccoons slowly rot,\nDecompose on the spot,\nYet the  buzzards eat all, unsauteed.", "id": 13846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "A big business's year is retired\nAt an annual meeting (required).\nWhile the stockholders vote\nOn issues of note,\nThe directors' report is admired.", "id": 13847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "That the bleep was invented's good luck;\nIt's quite useful when censors are stuck.\n Any word they don't like\n Can just go take a hike,\nSo your virgin ears never hear [bleep].", "id": 13848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and David Schildkret", "limerick": "A self-proclaimed expert on wine\nSaid affectedly, \"Yes, it's divine!\nPuligny Montrachet,\nFrom its fruity bouquet.\"\n(It was Ripple we poured, by design.)", "id": 13849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "There's a barrier between blood and brain\nSemi-permeable, helping restrain\nStuff that isn't legit\n(Or that simply won't fit),\nBut it doesn't inhibit cocaine.", "id": 13850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Tonight I was in the Jacuzzi\nJust listening to jazz, slow and bluesy.\nMy thinking grew wistful,\nI drank by the fistful,\nAnd now I feel soggy and woozy.", "id": 13851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "The Black Knight was keen on invading,\nDelighting in warring and raiding.\nBut his fight was disrupted\u2014\nA red rash erupted\u2014\nHis chainmail \"down there\" was abrading!", "id": 13852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A student quite frequently may\nAbstractedly hear teachers say,\n\"Pay attention in class!\"\nThe school may have his ass,\nBut his mind is a light year away.", "id": 13853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Wasted evenings: a common affliction.\nAmbition can place no restriction\n On how I spend time.\n I should work and not rhyme,\nBut too late; now this site's my addiction.", "id": 13855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Big and bad was the wolf (but quite slow).\nSaid, \"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow.\"\nBut a house made of bricks\nIs too strong for such tricks \u2014\nWhich is something that windbag should know.", "id": 13856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The climber could see from their faces\nThat he'd dropped from his sponsors' good graces.\n\"Altophobia stops\nMe from reaching the tops:\nI've a terrible fear of high places!\"", "id": 13857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "This really could be quite a lark,\nLimericizing aardvark.\nThough the rhyme is infernal,\nThe mammal's nocturnal.\n(It only comes out after dark.)", "id": 13858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When faced with a false accusation,\nIt's a reason for some jubilation\nIf the accuser is found\nTo have no solid ground\nFor his vile and calumnious oration.", "id": 13860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale and Robert Holland", "limerick": "Throughout the UK you can bet\nOn the horses or football \u2014 just get\nTo the betting shop, where\nYou can dream if you dare,\nBut night mares may mount up your debt.", "id": 13861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Agribusinessman\u2014he'll make a pile!\nAnd his job is secure for a while\n(What with harvest equipment,\nThe processing, shipment...)\n'Cause food never goes out of style.", "id": 13862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "Aminopyrine was used to ease pain;\nSeveral died when they tried this: no gain.\nTo cure or to kill,\nIt is all in this pill.\nGee, no thanks, I feel fine; I'll refrain.", "id": 13863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "The absorbancy index will say\nHow much light becomes lost from a ray\nAs it travels through mass,\nSolid, liquid or gas,\nExponentially fading away.", "id": 13864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When in Tripoli, call AAA.\nA dead battery? Fixed right away!\nYou forgot to pay dues?\nI'm so sorry, you lose.\nGrab some zzz's \u2014 there's no tow truck today.", "id": 13865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My wife wore a costume tonight.\nShe's an Indian demon, a fright.\n\"Am I looking okay?\"\nIt's a trap! What to say?\n\"You look bhut-iful darling, all right?\"", "id": 13866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My goal is to balance my budget.\nIt's hard, but I don't much begrudge it:\nNo butter for bread;\nIt's marg'rine instead.\n(While shopping at Nordstroms, I fudge it!)", "id": 13867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Boanthropy: a mental disease\nWhere the victim, as big as you please,\nBehaves like an ox\nAnd repeatedly shocks\nAll his friends as he hauls away trees!", "id": 13868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "pundita", "limerick": "Babinski's famed reflex: a sign\nNeurologically, things are not fine.\nThe pyramidal tract\nIs not fully intact\nWhen the toe shows an upward incline.", "id": 13869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "Artificer: someone who's paid\nFor his skill and finesse at a trade,\nOr the guy in the service\n(Who's probably nervous)\nPreparing each shell and grenade.", "id": 13870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Picorna-type virus,\" typed Cyrus,\nWhen googling, as he was desirous\nOf info on mengo-.\nHis browser would then go,\n\"Perchance, did you mean: porno-virus?\"", "id": 13871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A binomial sum, a plus b,\nCan be raised to the power of c.\nAs the theorem affirms,\nThis will generate terms\nAlgebraic, of given degree.", "id": 13872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An em-dash can often replace\nA parenthesis, bracket, or brace.\nSo you could\u2014if you chose\u2014\nHave those symbols en-close\nAn aside in these dashes' em-brace.", "id": 13873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "Take some butter and melt it right down,\nGently heat till the solids turn brown\nAnd then strain and you'll get\u2014\nEt voil\u00e0!\u2014beurre noisette.\n(Or the ghee of South Asian renown.)", "id": 13875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "To the ramparts! Man each balistraria!\nShoot arrows! Pour oil! Till there's nary a\nPerson left standing\nWherever they're landing\u2014\nWe'll teach 'em to climb our wistaria.", "id": 13876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Desolation\" described the repute\nOf the natural features en route.\nOne small mesa entwined\nIn the midst of my mind\nIs the desert defined, a real beaut.", "id": 13877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "The ape that is called the baboon\nIs hairy, and sings out of tune.\nHe's not very tall,\nHis legs are quite small,\nBut his arms, they could reach to the moon.", "id": 13878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "Just an income to pay for his wine,\nAnd a mansion in which he can dine \u2014\nAt the end of his rope,\nThe poor priest held out hope\nFor a benefice from the divine.", "id": 13879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "Art therapy's something docs do\nWhen patients are crazy or blue.\nJust give them some clay,\nAnd then let them play \u2014\nCreativity's good for you, too.", "id": 13880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "So my broker calls: \"Scott, this is Mike.\nYou bought calls at the fifty-five strike.\nBut the stock took a dive\nTill it hit fifty-five\u2014\nAt-the-money\u2014we'll hope for a spike.\"", "id": 13881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Feminazi's a term many use\nTo express antifeminist views.\nThese Neanderthal jerks\nWith their simpering smirks\nAre like chimps I see scratching in zoos.", "id": 13882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My shrink said my mem'ry had shrunk\nDue to bonking my head on my bunk.\nWhen it switched to \"erase,\"\nI had lost every trace\u2014\nEvery thought that I ever had thunk.", "id": 13883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I knew, if I followed my cues,\nI would fully deserve good reviews.\nAs the villain, my role\nIn this panto's quite droll,\nSo I wasn't expecting the boos.", "id": 13885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "I'll have to use all of my tact,\n'Cos a friend sits on chairs that are stacked,\nAnd another spins plates...\nI can't choose between mates...\nYes, it's really a balancing act!", "id": 13886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "To prepare olden day Christmas balls,\nThey snaked foliage all round the walls.\nSharp leaves with red berries,\nSublime festive cherries...\n'Twas known as bedecking the halls.", "id": 13887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"An abdominal section? I'll cut,\"\nSaid the surgeon, \"To open her gut,\nThen I'll trim off some fat.\"\nI said, \"Thank you for that.\nCan you please do the same to her butt?\"", "id": 13888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Mr. Christian, you clean up this spill!\"\nSaid the stern Captain Bligh (the old pill).\n\"And use Bounty, it's quicker,\nOr you won't get your liquor!\"\n\"I'll set you asea, Cap'n Will!\"", "id": 13889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joankay", "limerick": "To skim o'er the waves while you stand\nOn a board with a sail may seem grand,\nBut a boardsailing ride\nIn light winds that subside,\nMight force you to swim for the land.", "id": 13890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "Joanne kept herself quite aloof.\nTo befriend you, she needed some proof\nThat intentions were spotless;\nIf actions were thoughtless,\nShe'd doubtless retreat to the roof.", "id": 13891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harper", "limerick": "When Noah constructed the ark,\nHe could tell it would be a big barque.\nBut so large the boat grew\nThat he'd worry and stew,\n\"I won't have enough room to park!\"", "id": 13892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If your humorous, written creation\nComes with pages of dense annotation,\nThen the force of your spiel\nMay be less than ideal:\nYour jokes need too much explanation.", "id": 13893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Anglophilia indicates Yanks\nWhose pleasures in life are all thanks\nTo Austen and Shaw,\nThe Beatles and Waugh,\nAnd Python's satirical pranks.", "id": 13894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "I'm extremely inactive, of late.\nI will atrophy, limbs will abate\n    In their size through disuse;\n    But it's not an abuse:\nI've decided I gotta lose weight.", "id": 13895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The arpents to the south of Paree\nAre my winery's site, can't you see?\nNear an acre in measure,\nEach parcel's a treasure.\nThe land fits the grapes. Oh mais oui!", "id": 13896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "We returned to our flood-damaged 'hood,\nAnd we salvaged what little we could.\nFrom the bed moldings down\nTo the base moldings, brown\nMold had covered our bunkbeds, but good!", "id": 13897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Her blabbering\u2014vapid, inane\u2014\nIs beginning to drive me insane.\nShe has thoughts on the view,\nAnd the food, and the loo.\n(It seemed cool to hook up on a plane.)", "id": 13899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I shall wrap all my fingers in gauze\nAnd sip sodas through seventeen straws.\nI'll wear orange with pink\nAnd eat lunch at the sink.\nAsk me why and I'll say, \"Just because.\"", "id": 13900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Cooking chitlins, I'm cheerful, not doleful;\nI love boiling grits by the bowlful.\nOf ham hocks and stuff\nI just can't make enough:\nMy cuisine is both hearty and soulful.", "id": 13901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "It's bottled and sealed with a cap,\nBut this beverage still comes from a tap.\nThe package is nice\nAnd they charge a stiff price,\nYet the water inside tastes like crap.", "id": 13902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's a phrase that has reached a new phase\nIn the substance of what it portrays,\nFor today beg the question\nConveys the suggestion\nOf matters you're forced now to raise.", "id": 13903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Her agreeableness is renowned;\nCan't remember the last time she frowned.\nSo how did I spoil it?\nLeft open the toilet.\n(The ladies detest that, I've found.)", "id": 13904, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A cute nurse, on her first aircraft carrier,\nLaments that a flyer won't marry her.\n\"Explain to me why not!\"\nShe begs of the pilot.\n\"I'm married,\" he says. \"It's a barrier.\"", "id": 13905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A collector of rocks and of blocks\nSought a means of securing his stocks:\n\"I have geodes galore,\nChunky slabs by the score;\nWhat I need is a boxful of locks.\"", "id": 13906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "If you're fair, too much sun is a sin.\nAfter years, tell-tale symptoms begin.\nSo you head to the clinic:\nKeratosis, actinic\u2014\nWarty white crusty spots on your skin.", "id": 13907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Agagite: hater of Jews,\nLike Haman, of bigoted views\nAnd murderous lotto.\nNow let us get blotto\nAnd blot out his name, drowned in boos.", "id": 13908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Though the others would try to defy us,\nI've found a new source to supply us\nWith news we can use\nTo confirm all our views,\nSince the other news pushes a bias.", "id": 13909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A zebra, imported to Italy\nFor the Vatican Zoo, observed wittily:\n\"Though myself I am bichrome,\nFor its colour I like Rome,\nAnd I think I contrast very prettily.\"", "id": 13910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A fellow who thought he would try an\nAssault on a lovely Bisayan\nFound she'd fiercely resist\nAnd could wield a neat fist:\nOne lovely black eye \u2014 and one cyan.", "id": 13911, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Take a rope or a rod that you yank\nFor your servants to come (very swank).\nIf it goes round a bend\nThen you'll need to depend\nOn this L-shaped device, the bell crank.", "id": 13912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Near my flat lived a cat I called Herman.\nHad an accent\u2014it might have been German\n(With inflections obscure),\nBut I couldn't be sure.\nWhere he came from I couldn't determine.", "id": 13913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bacteria's function's exotic.\nIts competitive growth seems chaotic.\nA bacteriocin\nAllows one strain to win\nBy producing an antibiotic.", "id": 13914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I've given these orders before,\nBut my maid thinks this chore is a bore:\nTo ensure that it gleams,\nShe can't see that it seems\nTo behoove her to Hoover the floor.", "id": 13915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Basse-Terre, Guadeloupe, you get sun\nAnd two capital cities in one!\nIt's Basseterre, in St. Kitts,\nWhere the president sits\nAnd presides over foreigners' fun.", "id": 13916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said Adam to Eve, \"Stop your grieving!\nThe devil has done his deceiving.\nThe price has been big,\nBut I don't give a fig!\nI believe that it's time to be leaving.\"", "id": 13917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Begetting a baby's besetting\nMy belly with pushing and sweating.\nAcknowledging that,\nI've decided a cat\nIs the creature I'd rather be getting.", "id": 13918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If it's waving you crave, you should really\nTry wearing (it's suited ideally)\nA new bi-swing jacket.\nWith pleats in the back, it\nEnables your arms to swing freely.", "id": 13920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"He loves me,\" she'll say to her bellwort\nAs petals are plucked from this swell wort.\n\"He hates me,\" she'll shrilly\nLament to this lily\n(It's yellow) and yell, \"Oh farewell, wort!\"", "id": 13921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If Mancunians, locked in a battle\nIn Glasgow, proceeded to prattle\n'Bout Rangers, a stranger\nCould use an arranger\nFor bidialectalist tattle.", "id": 13922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Miss Chloride's objective? To prise\nA spare proton of medium size\nFrom an alkali metal\nLike sodium, settle,\nAnd bind, as a crystal, on fries.", "id": 13923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The temperance advocate eyed\nAll my bottles of brandy, and cried,\n\"Prithee when will your sin end?\"\n\"Just after this bin end\u2014\nThe last of the carton,\" I lied.", "id": 13924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At a bindery kind of a place\nYou'll be finding a bookbinding ace\nWho, when books fall apart,\nBy imparting his art\nWill their binding, by twining, replace.", "id": 13925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In baseball, the caps that you wear\nHave a bill on the front, so the glare\nOf the sun is at bay.\nIf you're bald, say hurray!\nIt disguises your absence of hair.", "id": 13926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Bon was a goner, the lack\nOf a singer delivered a whack\nTo their chance to succeed;\nBut when Johnson sang lead,\nAC/DC was back in the black.", "id": 13927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ten sticks' worth of eels is a bind;\nTwenty-five in each stick. You will find\nIf you're counting these eels\nWhat a bounty of meals\nWith an eely appeal you've aligned!", "id": 13928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "He bilks me in cribbage by thwarting\nMy chances of scoring\u2014not sporting!\nThe way that he does it?\nBy bilking\u2014because it\nIs cheating to which he's resorting.", "id": 13929, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A mud cat's a very large catfish;\nA yellow cat, also, is that fish,\nPlus shovelhead, goujon,\nBashaw\u2014he's a huge 'un\nThat sticks to your ribcage: a fat fish.", "id": 13930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bibliophily? Philly will lure you\nWith libraries bound to ensure you\nCan read all the writing,\nBoth dull and exciting,\nLibrarians ably procure you.", "id": 13931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If it's coal tar you're smoking, beware, sir!\nBenzanthracene's lurking in there, sir!\nWhy worry? The answer\u2014\nIt's known to cause cancer\n(Like nicotine tar, sir, but scarcer).", "id": 13932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Frau Fogel, a fogyish mayor,\nRefused to let artists portray her.\nThis stern bitter-ender\nWould say, \"Bitte, render\nA portrait of Klaus, the surveyor.\"", "id": 13933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bins abound and host many a dweller,\nLike bottles of wine in your cellar,\nAnd wool from your sheep,\nAnd the hops that you keep,\nAnd your uncle (a loony old feller).", "id": 13934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My pliable publisher, Wendy,\nWould print any book that was trendy.\nThe path that she took\nWhen selecting a book\nWas compliant: a bendy vivendi.", "id": 13935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bind is a timber that's tied\nTo keep others in place, on the side\nOf a boat, so it floats;\nOr it floats above notes\nWhen from one to the other you glide.", "id": 13936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"With a band, bind the quires of this book!\"\nShouts the printer, a querulous look\nEver etched on his brows.\nHis apprentice avows\nTo play hooky, by hook or by crook.", "id": 13937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Liberal Democrat won,\nBut of cabinet posts, there were none.\nWith his nose out of joint,\nHe belaboured the point\u2014\nTo be Labour, perhaps, would be fun.", "id": 13938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Lord Voldemort's latest attack?\nHe transformed all the cards in the pack\nThat were diamonds and hearts\nInto spades, using arts\nThat at Hogwarts, they teach us, are black.", "id": 13939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The stars and the agents who signed them?\nIn Melody Maker you'll find them.\nI've not the remotest\u2014\nSince lately, I've noticed,\nBy reading The Times, I'm behind them.", "id": 13941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My mother and dad think it's odd\nThat I gave them a reel and a rod\nAnd encouraged my parents\nTo visit the Barents,\nA Sea full of glaciers and cod.", "id": 13942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When last Paul McCartney was seen he\nWas fleeing an angry Blue Meanie\nAtrociously clad\n(Have you seen it? It's bad!)\nIn a teeny linguini bikini.", "id": 13943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Isiah and Magic astounded\nIn handling a ball that was rounded.\nThe ball handler Cousy's\nAssists were all doozies:\nHis teammates, at times, were confounded.", "id": 13944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Germans gave Shirley the slip\nOff the prow of the Lollypop Ship.\nAt the radar, she pouted;\nThe admiral shouted,\n\"Hey Temple, enough of your blip!\"", "id": 13945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bibliographer's someone who aims\nTo keep track of the books and the names\nOf the authors who wrote them\n(So others can quote them)\nIn order, so Boehm's before James.", "id": 13946, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With his periwig cocked on his head,\nHe coquetted, then solemnly read\nA soliloquy, oozing\nBlandiloquy\u2014choosing\nTo flatter the maid into bed.", "id": 13947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Three weavers assembled their peers\nFor a march, amid boisterous cheers.\nDraped in blankets, they strove\nTo display what they wove.\nThe were known as the three blanketeers.", "id": 13949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The priest, a Connecticut Yankee,\nReturns in a huff from the bank. He\nHas brought from the friary\nHis blank book, a diary\u2014\nWith bankbook left home, he is cranky.", "id": 13950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My husband cajoles me and eggs\nMe to change my appearance; he begs\nAnd blandanders each day.\nDear Ann Landers, please say\nIt's okay to have hair on my legs!", "id": 13951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bills of mortality weekly\nReport on the deaths that obliquely\nEnlighten a town,\nIf its water is brown,\nThat its sewage is treated antiquely.", "id": 13952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bill-board on board of a ship,\nBy securing the cuspidate tip\nOf the anchor, aweighing,\nPrevents it from swaying\nAnd causing the timbers to chip.", "id": 13955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At Eton, the bill is intended\nTo register boys who've offended.\nA place on this list\nCan bewelter a wrist\nOr portend that a student's suspended.", "id": 13956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though our vessel is laden with wealth,\nWe are forced to unload it in stealth.\nSince the port where we'd docked\nWas infected, we're blocked\nFrom receiving a clean bill of health.", "id": 13957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Tonight, after work, I am shopping\nFor tools to assist me in lopping\nThe top off my hedge\u2014\nLike a bill, with an edge\nCalled a bill-hook, for cutting and chopping.", "id": 13958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm behind in my payment of rent,\nAnd behind, to a sorry extent,\nIn what needs to be done.\nNow I'm under the gun,\nAnd my \"get up and go\" up and went.", "id": 13959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "It used to refer to the stuffing\nThat furnished a quilt with its puffing;\nBut bombast of cotton\nHas long been forgotten\u2014\nToday, it means \"trivial huffing.\"", "id": 13960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By pissing and moaning, you'll squander\nYour chance of romance, and they'll wander.\nBe glad if they pay\nYou the time of the day;\nIn their absence, your heart should grow fonder.", "id": 13961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though emerald glories enshrined it,\nThe truth, when exposed, undermined it\nIn toto\u2014for certain;\nSince, drawing the curtain,\nA wrinkled old man was behind it.", "id": 13962, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The motorist braked with a honk\nAnd his nose hit the dash with a conk.\nBoth the sound that he made\nAnd the bump (in a shade\nOf chartreuse) on his nose was a bonk.", "id": 13963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My husband, a Chelsea supporter,\nDrinks porter; his glasses are shorter\nThan pints by a half.\nWhen he orders, I laugh\u2014\n\"Black and tan (add some ale\u2014just a quarter)!\"", "id": 13964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "As an adverb, ago takes its space\nAfter long; adjectival, its place\nAfter seventy years\nOr a sixpack of beers\nIs the sign of a bygone embrace.", "id": 13965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My horse has a backband, a strap\nI attached to my cart in a snap.\nI'm all ready to go,\nBut my progress is slow\u2014\nSince my horsie is taking a nap.", "id": 13966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A farmer, unfailingly perky,\nAs biltong preserved all his turkey\nFrom buttock to tongue.\nSo he salted and hung\nIt to dry in the sun\u2014it was jerky.", "id": 13967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "No sugar tonight in my tea\nOr my coffee\u2014it's saccharine-free!\nSave your cream and your milk\nAnd lactiferous ilk\nFor the British, since black is for me.", "id": 13968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Ulster, they're banging their pans!\nClad in khaki, the brash Black and Tans\nGive Sinn Feiners no quarter;\nWith constables' mortar\nThey're blasting the nationalists' plans.", "id": 13969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Study water-filled, bubbling tubs,\nOr a spa, where the wealthy get rubs.\nTake a look at geography\nFor more balneography:\nA city in England (with pubs).", "id": 13970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Bangalore, puffing a smoke,\nA spice trader sauntered, and spoke:\n\"The spices in Bangy\nAre tasty and tangy!\nThey hang from my bangy, a yoke.\"", "id": 13971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A geologist finds with a shock\nAn erratic allochthonous rock\nWhich was formed, it is clear,\nRather distant from here.\nYou blame aliens? Look up ad hoc.", "id": 13972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If you feel that you have to abbrev.\nMake sure that you don't ever dev.\nFrom grammatical rules\nThat they teach at good schools,\nOr your problems you'll never allev.", "id": 13973, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A celebrity's cheating affair\nOnce only two people would share.\nBut affairs are now lectual\nShenanigans sexual,\nPromoted in full public glare.", "id": 13974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Addled describes the confused,\nOr eggs far too old to be used.\nSo folks addlepated\n(As we've more or less stated)\nAre probably often bemused.", "id": 13975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A person or firm that's accountable\nWill agree that all things are surmountable\nWhen righting their error,\nAlbeit that there're\nGood reasons some things aren't discountable.", "id": 13976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The lexical sign ampersand\n(A corruption of \"and per se and\"),\nThough very inviting\nIn casual writing,\nIn formal should always be banned.", "id": 13977, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Behaviours we call abnormalities\nAre those which will break the formalities\nWe think of as normal,\nEstablished or formal \u2014\nExtremes of diverse personalities.", "id": 13978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "As for ambi-, I'd like to expound.\nAt the start, it means \"both\" or \"around\":\n\"How's the ambiance there?\nLots of noise filled the air\nWith ambiguous ambient sound.\"", "id": 13979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When you're in the ascendant, you're tops\nTill your stardom or prominence stops.\nThere's a sense independent\n(Opposed to descendant)\nThat means you're an ancestor, Pops.", "id": 13980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "She was not irredeemably dumb;\nOnly half of a bubble off plumb.\nThe anserine crone\nHad a skull, mostly bone,\nAnd a penchant for sucking her thumb.", "id": 13981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "When your skin is all flaky and dry\nOn your elbows or hands or your thigh,\nThe look is called ashy\n(It isn't so flashy!),\nSo grab some good lotion \u2014 apply!", "id": 13983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Avaricious, a word meaning greedy,\nIs one I consider quite seedy.\nYou might covet my money\nOr even my honey.\nYou're envious, jealous \u2014 so needy!", "id": 13984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Your arteriole's part of your vessels;\nIt delivers the blood, but it wrestles\nWith causing high pressure\nThat'll certainly mess your\nAttempts to enjoy a few nestles!", "id": 13985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Workshop", "limerick": "Kudos, Chris Strolin, for these;\nYou write them with elegant ease.\nWe're patiently waiting,\nOur breathing abating;\nMeanwhile, I'm catching some zzzs.", "id": 13986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Baby ship said, \"Aw, Mom, do I hafta?\nThis bilge keel provokes my friends' laughter!\"\nMomma said, \"T'would be wise,\n'Less you'd like to capsize.\"\nSo he wore it, despised, ever after.", "id": 13987, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Apprehend's come to mean all of these:\n \"Anticipate,\" \"get it,\" or \"seize\nAn idea, an event,\nOr a crook.\" What is meant?\n Apprehend here whatever you please.", "id": 13988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Although to the buffalo linked,\nThe bison in Europe's distinct.\nIt's aurochs by name\nAnd it's long been fair game,\nAnd so therefore it's nearly extinct.", "id": 13989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "To shout \"God\" was once thought to blaspheme;\nNow He's named in each partisan scheme.\n\"No praying in class,\"\nOr \"The Pledge? I'll just pass,\"\nWill make many politicos scream.", "id": 13990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The abscopal effect seems bizarre:\nZap a tumor here \u2014 alter afar.\nA small dose to your nose\nMay help cancerous toes\nAnd make immunochem the big star!", "id": 13991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "A fabulous fruit-loving fairy\nTurned everything into a berry.\nShe pointed her paw\nAt a big pile of straw,\nAnd that berry came out very hairy.", "id": 13992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Though we don't share a father or mother\nAnd our sisters don't know one another,\nSince we cut both our hands\nAnd our blood mixed, it stands\nThat he's properly called my blood brother.", "id": 13993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "She primps him and irons his coat\nAnd kisses his shoulders and throat\nIn front of the boys; in\nMy view, it's from poison!\nShe needs to ingest antidote!", "id": 13994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "As I bailed out my Great Uncle Vickers,\nAmid laughter and various snickers,\nHe showed one cop, Joe,\nAspects anti- and pro-\nOf dancing in lace bra and knickers.", "id": 13995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If the light bulb you have is BC,\nThen to fit it please just follow me.\nFirst you push it in straight,\nThen you slightly rotate ...\nNo, the light bulb! How thick can you be?", "id": 13996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Betty and mephistopheles", "limerick": "When an affine equation you see,\nSuch as y = mx + b,\nThen its graph is a line.\nThis equation works fine\nUnless vertical (x = d).", "id": 13997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "A bright I.T. auditor, Jill,\nFound auditing ledgers no thrill.\nSo she left, bought a farm;\nNow she's happy and calm\nWith her husband, named Jack, by a hill.", "id": 13998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I feel calm, I've no trouble and strife;\nMy BD means I can't have a wife.\nIt would be such a mess\nIf I'd got BDS;\nI'd have scraped, drilled and pulled all my life.", "id": 13999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you want to fly high in the sky?\nThen an aeroplane's what you should buy.\nWith your plane in the air\nYou can live with no care.\nI've one here, won't you give it a try?", "id": 14000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you want to fly high in the sky?\nThen an airplane is what you should buy.\nWith a pilot and plane\nLife is never mundane.\nIt's a pleasure you just can't deny.", "id": 14001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Want to help hunt the skies for ET?\nOr predict what the climate will be?\nLots of projects to choose;\nPC networks they use.\nIt's all done with BOINC.", "id": 14003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil and Seth Brown", "limerick": "To ameliorate what's begun,\nMake it better, and make it more fun.\nAn Italian, my friend,\nScored me eight out of ten.\nYes, Amelio rated this pun.", "id": 14004, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "'Twas in Switzerland where it all started;\nAthletes leapt on their bob and departed.\nNow from St. Moritz town\nBob-sleigh's grown in renown;\nRound the world all their gear must be carted.", "id": 14005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Ayatollahs have life-and-death powers\nAs they preach to the faithful from towers.\nIf your name's at the head\nWhen a fatwa is read\nGet a guard and shun Shiites in showers.", "id": 14006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "One meaning of alveus: it's\nThe land by the sea, just the bits\nFrom the low-water line\nTo the high-water sign.\nYou might call it the beach if that fits.", "id": 14007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Aberfan, Friday morn, people cried\nWhen the waste tip just started to slide;\nWith a rumble it came\nDown the hill. Now the name\nWill be known for the children that died.", "id": 14008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Ancient words are the fare of my care\nAnd I've one that I'm longing to share.\nIt means \"gravelly beach\"\nOr \"a sandbank\". What peach\nOf a word have I heard? Why, it's air.", "id": 14009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "When cars first came out in great force\nTheir power was compared to a horse.\nWell, for accuracy's sake\nThey would then use a brake\nAnd just measure the heat from this source.", "id": 14010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "From its head, where it starts wild and free,\nThe river flows down to the sea\nIn its channel or bed\nWhere it goes, or is led.\nThat's an alveus, don't you agree?", "id": 14011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you want to build chips for a job?\n(That's the ones in computers, you nob,\nNot with fish.) Then take care:\nYou must filter all air;\nAny dust and you'll bust, then you'll sob.", "id": 14012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The young athlete was first off the block\nBut the runner was in for a shock.\nThough she ran the race fast,\nAll the records will last ...\nFor no one had started the clock.", "id": 14013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Clarence Birdseye had only one wish\u2014\nTo serve up fine food in a dish.\nHow to keep the food nice?\nWhy, just freeze in a trice.\nNow we're eating his peas and his fish.", "id": 14014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Harry Beck was a man with a plan\nTo explain where the Underground ran.\nOn his paper he drew\nLines of red, green and blue;\nOf his map there's now many a fan.", "id": 14015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "This coin, first of bronze then of copper,\nWas called as by the Romans, quite proper,\nBut when you had two\nOnly asses would do\nFor a well-dressed Pompeian clothes shopper.", "id": 14016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Lascivious, ribald, and crude,\nThis language is certainly rude.\nThese bawdy orations\nMay cause palpitations.\nDon't listen if you are a prude.", "id": 14017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Hear the click of the clock with its gold face.\nSee him look through the book with his cold face.\nWords just rush past his eyes\n'Til dark text he espies.\nConcentration revives for this bold face.", "id": 14018, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "New to teaching, she just can't contain\nHer emotions; restraint is in vain.\nShe's attentive\u2014the boys\nSoon beguile her with ploys;\nHer B.Ed. leads to bed\u2014then to pain.", "id": 14019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "To the pictures enclosed I refer.\nThey show you and your \"girlfriend\", you cur!\nI could make your wife weep ...\nBut your secret I'll keep\nFor a \"counselling fee\", as it were.", "id": 14020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "A karate aficionado\nMet up with a tough desperado.\nHe'd been actin' all that,\nBut his courage went flat,\nSo I guess it was only bravado.", "id": 14021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My transsexual cousin named Claude\nSaid, \"The girls overseas would applaud\nMy new life as a beau.\"\nBut then, what does he know?\nCousin Claude's never once been abroad.", "id": 14022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The Marxists are back; how I've missed 'em!\nAnd they're looking for kids, to enlist 'em.\n\"We must share with these youths\nAnticapitalist truths\nSo they don't wind up trapped in your system.\"", "id": 14023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "In blindness deceived, now deceased\u2014\nBy Regan and Goneril fleeced.\nTheir flattering lies\nKept the truth from thine eyes,\nBut Cordelia did not love thee least.", "id": 14024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Lovely Anna, invading my slumber,\nWhom no inhibitions encumber:\nShe said I could call\u2014\nDidn't mean it at all!\nAnna Nimmety gave the wrong number.", "id": 14025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Trusting motives whenever he can,\nHe's deceived by a treacherous plan:\n\"Not our stars but ourselves,\"\nInto darkness he delves\u2014\nExit Brutus: an hon'rable man.", "id": 14026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Here's the bid price, at which you can sell.\nWant to buy? Here's an asked price as well.\n(And the spread in between\nKept me rolling in green;\nDidn't matter if stocks rose or fell.)", "id": 14027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The asterisk's such a great star*\nThat its uses regrettably are\nSo abundant now that\nI can't write here of splat**\nNor of something that's really bizarre!***", "id": 14028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If you're browsing for sights that are scarier\nYou would best be advised to be warier.\nSites that end dot bg\nMay not be virus-free\n'Cos they're based in the country Bulgaria.", "id": 14029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's a side, it's an edge, it's a limit;\nYou'll find immigrants oft' are agin' it.\nIt's a brink, it's some lines;\nThus your border defines\nWhat you've got and the parts that are in it.", "id": 14030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "You stay at your school overnight?\nFor a day, or a week, that's all right.\nIt just means you're a boarder\nWhose folks can afford a\nLarge bill for your schooling delight.", "id": 14031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "To the O.E.D.I.L.F. \u2014 Hi.\nI have kidnapped your Editor guy.\nAll your members must pay\nFifty dollars today\nOr you'll bid Chris J. Strolin goodbye.", "id": 14032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Archimedes, in bath, gave a shout\nAs the water flowed out of the spout.\n\"Eureka! Eureka!\"\nAnd rushed out\u2014a streaker.\nHis \"aha moment\" left him in nowt.", "id": 14033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "There's a borderline chance, so I'll take it.\nThough I try to sound calm, I can't fake it.\nI should say, \"It's OK\"\nIn that cool British way,\nOr I'll scream, \"We're not going to make it!\"", "id": 14034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you want to recolour your cat?\nGet a tub or a trough or a vat.\nIn this back place your dye.\nAdd your cat, rinse and dry\u2014\nIf she dies, then she'll make a fine hat.", "id": 14035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Possessions can sometimes be charming;\nAn excess to your health may be harming.\nWith necessities bare,\nIn the world you've no care\u2014\nThat's a prospect I find quite alarming.", "id": 14037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Want to make some quick dosh, cash-in-hand?\nGot a room spare at home, not too grand?\nTake a boarder from me\nAnd I'm sure you'll soon see\nThat you'll have more to spend than you planned.", "id": 14038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's the end of the world ... well not quite.\nSeems Apophis will give us a fright.\nThough this cold, lifeless rock\nCould still give us a shock,\nNow the chance of destruction is slight.", "id": 14039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "When the pirate ship fought a hard fight\nWe resisted with all of our might.\nBut we thought they had won,\n'Til the gold, setting sun\nSent the boarders to bed for the night.", "id": 14040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If at pinball you cheat, you're a tilter.\nIf your girl's heart you break, you're a jilter.\nIf your car's running rough\nWith a huff and a puff,\nThen it may be you need an air filter.", "id": 14041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When comedy's black, it's contrarian;\nIts irony's shrill, like a clarion.\nNot Harry Met Sally,\nThis Harold's finale?\nThe death of an octogenarian.", "id": 14042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By an etymological law\nThat says shorter is better, we saw\nFor supporting the breast\nJust three letters were best:\nThe brassi\u00e8re became bras became bra.", "id": 14043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My blubbery brother named Fred\nLikes blaeberry jam on his bread.\nMy cousin named Kelly,\nRotund in the belly,\nLikes bilberry jelly instead.", "id": 14044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"The bonk\" is most likely to hit\nWhen your sides are beginning to split\nAfter cycling too far\nWith no energy bar\nIn your bonk bag at hand to be bit.", "id": 14045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"My cows is quite well,\" said the hobbish\nOld Squeers; \"and my boys is quite bobbish\u2014\nSequeestered from Lunnin,\nThey're healthy, not done in\nBy Nickleby, cunnin' and snobbish.\"", "id": 14047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Alectorides: here is a pleasant\nWay to classify birds. There's a pheasant,\nA cock, and a hen;\nThey're affordable when\nYou're a king or a lord, not a peasant.", "id": 14048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Angiography's when you're subjected\nTo having your bloodstream inspected\nBy x-ray.  This test\nHas been shown to work best\nAfter radiopaque goo is injected.", "id": 14049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "I simply could never abide\u00b9\nTo abide\u00b2 in the place I abide\u00b3.\nSo, I've left my abode\nAnd set off on the road.\nIf you see me, please give me a ride.", "id": 14050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Abed's where you sleep in the night,\nUnless you and your wife had a fight.\nThen for you, it's the couch.\nNext time don't be a grouch,\nJust permit her to think she was right!", "id": 14051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "There's a beast fable: \"'Hopper and Ant\".\n\"Come and play,\" said the grasshopper. \"Can't!\nI must work,\" the ant said,\n\"Storing morsels of bread\nFor the winter, when foodstuffs are scant.\"", "id": 14052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "Averbal exchange is sans words,\nLike the warning grunts made in some herds.\nWhen I stepped on the gerbil,\nThe shrieks we made \u2014 terrbil!\nOr the songs of the whales and the birds.", "id": 14053, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You may smell new exotic aromas\nIn African compounds called bomas!\nWhiff the smoke-swirling heat,\nSweaty dancers, and meat,\nBut don't sniff at their drunken ngomas!", "id": 14054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As you fly through the sky you may find\nThere's a whoosh, and you've got one behind.\nAAM is this danger,\nJust fired by a stranger.\nA miss'll be what's on your mind.", "id": 14055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If your French wine is good there should be\nOn the label the note \"AOC\":\nAppellation, they say,\nD'Origine Contr\u00f4l\u00e9e.\nIs that glass there for me? Mais, merci!", "id": 14056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "God is good. This is what we are taught;\nCataphatic's the tone of this thought.\nWant to say the same thing\nWith a negative swing?\nGod's not bad's apophatically wrought.", "id": 14057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The meeting had gone on for hours;\nWe were wilting, and so were the flowers.\nThe last item\u2014at last!\n\"AOB?\" Say \"No!\" fast,\nEven though your boss looks up and glowers.", "id": 14058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If in Derbyshire, mining for lead,\nYou don't pay what you owe, then it's said\nThat a barmote's the court\nWhere your case will be brought;\nIf they wish, they may chop off your head!", "id": 14059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Wore a breastplate, a helmet with wings;\nSiegfried's wife, then forgotten\u2014Fate stings.\nShe's Br\u00fcnnhilde, who flew\nWith her Valkyrie crew.\nIs it over and done once she sings?", "id": 14060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Wearing ribbons in shimmering bows,\nShe bedazzles wherever she goes,\nThey're her joy and her pride,\nBut they won't come untied,\nSo her sparkling collection just grows.", "id": 14061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "By the gate we impatiently wait\nTo attend all the shows on the slate.\nWe can hardly stay still,\nSince this theater's bill\nIsn't double or triple, but eight!", "id": 14062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though men come a-courting in herds,\nShe rejects them, in so many words.\nTo explain the above is\nQuite easy\u2014her love is\nReserved, so they say, for the birds.", "id": 14064, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The current downriver is forceful,\nBut steering my boat, I'm resourceful.\nMy small open vessel\nWon't capsize, unless I'll\nStand up and fall over, remorseful.", "id": 14065, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The color-blind milliner knew\nThat the green on that roll wouldn't do.\nHe normally wouldn't\nBe choosy, but couldn't\nDistinguish that bolt from the blue.", "id": 14066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The original stamp was the black;\nSpend a shilling, get twelve in a pack.\nOn your envelopes, these\nPosted letters with ease;\nSend thirteen, you'd get one of them back.", "id": 14067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At Harrow, the bill is a list\nTo record all the students who missed\nOr attended. This tally\nTells boys: \"Those who dally\nWill suffer a rap on the wrist!\"", "id": 14068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bill's how the pelican feeds\u2014\nHow the helican store all he needs.\nBut it's also the beak\nOf which botanists speak:\nA projecting appendage to seeds.", "id": 14069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A thistle was going to seed,\nSo I tugged at this troublesome weed.\nWhen I snapped it, some sap\nLanded splat on my lap.\nIt snapped back: \"When you prick us, we bleed!\"", "id": 14070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The blackback's a species of gull.\nAll the herrings it's raring to pull\nFrom the water will dart,\nWhich is certainly smart:\nIt'll fish 'til its tummy is full.", "id": 14071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "All wearers of glasses should know\nThat the part of the frame called the bow\nIs draped over the ear.\nThe bespectacled cheer\nWhen it rests on the temple, just so.", "id": 14072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Let's go bat fowling\u2014prowling at night\nWith a clapnet, attacking on sight\nOf a bird that's asleep.\nWhen it wakes, we will leap\nAfter rousting its roost with a light.", "id": 14073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Said the unfunny hack from Fort Totten\nOf his limericks, \"True, they are rotten.\nI had one that would please ya\nConcerning amnesia,\nWhose punch line, alas, I've forgotten.\"", "id": 14074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My demands were received with derision,\nBut at last we agreed a division\nOf labor: I say,\n\"We should do it my way,\"\nAnd my wife makes the final decision.", "id": 14075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Belinda, a widow of Bill,\nWas beset by his absence until\nShe decided to place\nIn her wallet his face.\nHe resides in her bill-holder still.", "id": 14076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "In college we learn about Psych\nAnd Bio and Chem and the like.\nBy that last, I allude\nTo some more of this brood.\n(Not Econ, though \u2014 that school's on strike.)", "id": 14077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "Aureola: an aura surrounding\nThe body of someone astounding.\nWhen such visions appear\nOne is likely to hear\nThe voices of angels resounding.", "id": 14078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Assimilationists stand up and say\nThat all kids should speak English today:\nDifferent tongues could bring strife,\nAnd divide like a knife\nEvery you in the U. S. of A.", "id": 14079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "To whiten your hairdo with blueing,\nIt's best that you know what you're doing.\nIf you add too much dye\nIt could turn out awry;\nBlue hair in the mirror you're viewing.", "id": 14081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The lady in charge of admitting\nIs sitting there doing her knitting.\nAnd you let out a groan\nWhile she talks on the phone\nAs you stand there in pain unremitting.", "id": 14082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An instinct called basic has been\nMade famous by that movie scene,\nWhere Stone once revealed\nA zone that appealed;\nErogenous, some say unclean.", "id": 14083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An atopic reaction is one\nThat happens once contact's begun.\nThis allergic response\nCan quickly ensconce\nAnd needs to be promptly undone.", "id": 14084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "To retain the smooth skin that's desired,\nAt the spa, it's in mud you're attired.\nIf your friends should ask how\n(Though you act like a sow),\nIt's more chic to reply, \"I'm bemired.\"", "id": 14086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "She said, \"It's the wrong time of year\nTo take your binoculars, dear.\"\nBut the winter bird-watcher\nSaid, \"That's where I've gotcha;\nThere are plenty of bluetits, I hear.\"", "id": 14087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "Ah, son, I'd forgotten you came.\nIt's this wretched disease that's to blame.\nMy memory's shot,\nAnd \u2026 where was I?\u2014forgot \u2026\nIt's this wretched disease \u2026 What's your name?", "id": 14088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The fraternity's status annoys,\nSince their standards demand men of poise;\nYet acceptance gets granted\n(When financially slanted):\nIt's admissive of well-funded boys.", "id": 14089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "If a lizard should get in a scrape,\nAutotomy helps it escape:\n'Stead of \"being in jail,\"\nIt just breaks off its tail;\nGrows another to get back in shape.", "id": 14090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "The forester pondered aloud,\n\"My goodness, that tree is quite boughed!\nThose branches and leaves!\nI'm a man who perceives\nWhen another's more greatly endowed!\"", "id": 14091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul Lusch", "limerick": "They were losing, just time for one play.\nNo despair did their faces betray.\nTheir hope still surviving,\nWith firm, all-out striving,\nThe underdogs carried the day!", "id": 14092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A believer in archebiosis\n(Who suffered from rank halitosis)\nThought life could arise\nFrom the mud, I surmise\u2014\nA not very likely prognosis.", "id": 14093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When police feel more salary's due,\nAnd their bargaining's stymied, it's true\nThat they get a big kick out\nOf staging a sick-out;\nThey call the event the blue flu.", "id": 14094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "When the stripper's white dress hit the floor,\nThe attendants all shouted for more,\n  So I started to dance\n  And unfasten my pants;\nBut the audience ran for the door.", "id": 14095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Gumby", "limerick": "Men from Bedford, VA went to fight\nOn the Normandy beaches that night.\nOn the sixth day of June,\nGermans killed their platoon;\nA lone monument stands to their plight.", "id": 14096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Use aboral when something's \"away\nFrom the mouth,\" like the side of a ray\nOr a starfish that's south\nWhen the north's got the mouth\u2014\nOr that fruitcake of Mom's, Christmas Day.", "id": 14097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "I think Virge got confused 'bout ascent.\nI'da swore a trip up's what it meant.\nOn the mountain last night\nHis ascent looked all right,\nBut that ain't the direction he went.", "id": 14098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "For a bridge player, name of Bernard,\nIt's a game he declares isn't hard.\nRuffing aces, finessing,\nHe's always impressing,\nBut never knows what to discard.", "id": 14099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An androphagous hullabaloo\nAbout comic and harlequin stew:\nAn annoying buffoon\nSaid while dipping his spoon,\n\"Does this dinner taste funny to you?\"", "id": 14100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "What's a cool Anamorpha surprise?\nIt's their number of legs, I surmise.\nPairs at start?  They have seven,\nBut, merciful Heaven!\nMore than double that somehow arise!", "id": 14101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Do you know what I found in this book?\nAt the end of a sentence, come look!\nIt's ancistroid, this rune \u2014\nOn the page it is strewn.\nIt's a question mark, shaped like a hook.", "id": 14102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you're dwelling with constant neurosis\nOn the cause of your rank halitosis,\nI can surely declare,\nSince there's plenty of air,\nIt's not really anoxybiosis.", "id": 14103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The anomalist Greeks felt  a word \u2014\nBe it kumquat or dingdong or bird \u2014\nHad no meaning attached,\nBut was randomly hatched.\nThe analogists said, \"That's absurd!\"", "id": 14104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Antisemites are people who choose\nTo blame all the world's ills on the Jews:\n\"They're stingy.  They're clannish.\nWe wish they would vanish.\nOur guy Hitler had all the right views.\"", "id": 14105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you're picking a fight with the gods,\nYou are fighting against all the odds.\nThey will zap you to dust\nWith a lightning bolt thrust:\nGet Ben Franklin to lend you some rods.", "id": 14106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When asystole hits you in bed,\nPull that sheet right up over your head.\nYou've a flat EKG.\nCiao, goodbye, RIP,\nAu revoir, sayonara: you're dead.", "id": 14107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Upon passing a Burma-Shave sign,\nI encountered this rather odd line:\n\"The aristulate face\nBrings on shame and disgrace.\"\nThat's for barley, not people, you swine!", "id": 14108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A ballisto- type cardiograph,\nWhen in use by the medical staff,\nMeasures blood through the heart\nBy the way that that part\nCauses muscle jumps just like a laugh.", "id": 14109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "At the Species Bar, here is my gripe:\nThat, because of conformity's hype,\nYou will oft hear a boor\nSay, \"I'm sorry, but you're\nApotypic, not really my type.\"", "id": 14110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Said Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies,\n\"William Golding I truly despise.\nHe just uses my name\nWithout paying (for shame!).\nI shall send him a nasty surprise.\"", "id": 14111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A behavioral scientist, Matt,\nIn a Skinner box once placed a rat,\nTwo pigeons, a mouse,\nAnd his Manx from the house.\nOne day later, what's left?  One fat cat.", "id": 14112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Two parts silicon. Oxygen six.\nThat makes silicate, which we can mix\nWith aluminum; throw\nIn potassium. So\nWe make amphigene (leucite) for kicks.", "id": 14113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He seemed to be kind and assuaging,\nBut often was mean and enraging.\nIt seemed a foretoken,\nAnd caused his bespoken \nTo find him no longer engaging.", "id": 14114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When I met you 'twas love at first sight.\nI thought you were handsome and bright.\nAnd now that I know you\nI hope I can show you\nHow happy I am to be right.", "id": 14115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "An autoecist won't stray from his post:\nThis parasite lives on one host.\n  My son follows suit,\n  And it's no longer cute.\nHe's been haunting our couch like a ghost.", "id": 14116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're seeking a boat that is cool,\nAnd can sail in a bay or a pool,\nA baggala's one\nThat to pilot is fun,\nAnd it's named for a feminine mule.", "id": 14117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If you yearn for a daughter or son,\nCopulation could yield either one.\n Don't like sex? Then adoption\n Is also an option,\nBut frankly, it's not as much fun.", "id": 14118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "The baritone range is depressed \u2014\nSure, it's deeper than most of the rest.\nBut it simply can't face\nThat the deepest is bass,\nAnd it's no good to be second best.", "id": 14119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "To market my fresh balm of gilead\n(Which cleared up some spots that poor Willy had),\nExtolling its oils\nFor pox, tonsils and boils,\nI'm resorting to this rather silly ad.", "id": 14120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I'm not one as I'll fight without cause,\nBut him, I've just hauled in his hawse,\nAs I gave him a black eye\nFor calling me back eye.\nHe arsed for it, dinnee? Applause?", "id": 14121, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An axil's defined as the angle\n'Twixt a stem and addenda that dangle.\nThough an axle controls\nSpinning wheels on your Rolls,\nTake the axel for flash, splash and spangle.", "id": 14122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An achenium's one kind of breed\nOf a fruit about which you may read;\nIndehiscent (no split),\nSingle-seeded, and it\nIs so bare that it's called naked seed.", "id": 14123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "As the offerings made to a priest\nTo say Mass for a person deceased\nOr preside at a rite,\nThis altarage might\nHelp investments in vestments, at least.", "id": 14124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Alphonse was a gent once well-known,\nWith a friend at a door often shown.\nNeither one would go through:\n\"My Alphonse, after you.\"\n\"Oh, no\u2014after you, dear Gaston.\"", "id": 14125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "Trace your hand down the flat of the spine.\nBreathe the scent, read the very first line.\nNever judge by the cover:\nAn ardent book-lover\nWill savor each story like wine.", "id": 14126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If a Christmas aubade is your goal,\nThen  trans-Arctic Circle is droll:\nA solstice surprise is\nThe Sun never rises\nFrom there to the boreal pole.", "id": 14127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "How the future's depicted by seers \u2014\nThat the fata Morgana appears \u2014\nHow the Tarot foresees\nSome of your what-may-be's \u2014\nThe arcana's domain is our fears.", "id": 14128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I inherited land from maman;\nThe amount was a hundred arpents.\nThere weren't any takers\nFor eighty-five acres\nDown-breeze from a cheese fabricant.", "id": 14129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A gem-cutter knows that a stone\nIn which small rutile needles have grown\nShows a star if it's cut\nIn a cabochon, but\nFake asterias also are known.", "id": 14130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Admiral's Men played the Rose\n'Til the Globe upped and trod on their toes.\nNed Allen inspired,\nTook a bow and retired,\nThen for Fortune re-donned actor's clothes.", "id": 14131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"Tom, why don't that borehole stand still?\nI broke yer asthenosphere drill!\"\n\"It's trivial, Biff.\nSee, the rock isn't stiff,\"\nHe coupleted, Swiftly. \"So chill!\"", "id": 14132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Degas felt an urge in his ass\nAnd suspended his strokes to degas.\nFor a poot, we'll take time,\nEven artists sublime,\nBut to dwell on the practice is crass.", "id": 14133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Articulation's a sober technique,\nBut beginners who try it might squeak.\nTo move from legato\nTo woodwind staccato\nWon't work with your tongue in your cheek.", "id": 14134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Aristocracy's rule is the best,\nAnd their fortunes have surely been blessed.\nIt is right to be led\nBy the well-heeled and bred:\nThey are always impeccably dressed.", "id": 14135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "At the baymouth, my buddies will sit,\nAnd we'll fish, watching waves, getting lit,\n'Cause when offered a jar\nOn the barrier-bar,\nWe will thankfully sip, just a spit.", "id": 14136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's the course of all efforts that wend\nFrom a start all the way to an end;\nMy anabasis fell\nOn its journey to hell\nWith an e-mail \"To ALL\", and a SEND.", "id": 14137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "The bibacious are hooked upon drinking,\nAnd often they're hooked upon thinking:\n\"I'm so clever on booze\nThat I simply can't lose!\"\nBut their IQs are actually sinking.", "id": 14138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A bourride is a stew made from fish,\nLots of garlic, and egg yolks\u2014delish!\nThat's what everyone wants\nWhen they dine in Provence:\nIt's a dish that's a gastronome's wish.", "id": 14139, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "My poor yard sorely needed revisions;\n'Twas a wreck of botanic collisions.\nBut what trees should I take?\nI was forest to make\nA few tough arborary decisions.", "id": 14141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My boogying's awkward at best,\nSo if you want to dance, be my guest.\nFor when I hit the floor,\nPeople head for the door\nOr at least suggest, \"Give it a rest.\"", "id": 14142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "My new stepson belongs below ground,\nOr in straitjackets constantly bound.\nMy wife hopes we will bond\nAnd with time I'll grow fond,\nBut I'm fond of the dreams where he's drowned.", "id": 14143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An arena's where battles are waged\nAnd where leaders of legend engaged\nIn a fight to the end.\nBut not me\u2014I pretend,\nWhen engaged in a fight, to be paged.", "id": 14144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This limerick's lines are applaudable:\nThe cheers are resoundingly audible.\nIf sung to a tune\nI'd be over the moon,\nAnd the song would be surely iPodable.", "id": 14145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I bolted the breakfast before me,\nWhich prompted my wife to implore me\nTo eat more discreetly.\nI answered her sweetly,\n\"Revolted? Don't mind me, ignore me!\"", "id": 14146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "One mistake that you'll certainly rue\nIs to badmouth those tending to you.\nSally's stylist once heard\nOf the \"facts\" Sal had blurred.\nScissors slipped\u2014Sal wore wigs! (Hair re-grew.)", "id": 14147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Carsick doggies most likely will barf\n(That means \"vomit\"), then bark an \"arf-arf.\"\nThey could upchuck their sup,\nOr quite simply throw up,\nHurling puke as they ralph on your scarf.", "id": 14148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The ancients wove branches of bay\nAs a wreath, for a crown\u2014'twas their way\nOf giving renown\nTo the best of their town,\nWhether athlete, or warrior from fray.", "id": 14149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To be Christian, how do you begin?\nYou accept Jesus Christ, then you're in.\nYou've transgressed; you're impure\u2014\nBut the \"baptism cure\"\nWill now cleanse your original sin.", "id": 14150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Appressed in the book was a rose,\nPressed flat in an elegant pose.\nBut in pages nearby\nWas a flower less dry,\nAnd the rose's sweet smell suffered woes.", "id": 14151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Antacids are made out of chalk,\nAnd they help if your stomach should balk\nAt any suggestion\nOf normal digestion\n(Though they'll cause you to belch when you talk).", "id": 14152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I know of agonadal creatures,\nWhich, lacking those sexual features\nRequired for creation\nOf each generation,\nEnthralled my biology teachers.", "id": 14153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though today one can't say \"A per se,\" one\nCan use indivisible A1\nFor first class or best.\nApersey and the rest\n(A per C, apersie) didn't stay one.", "id": 14154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Authors harness parentheses (brackets)\nTo trap their asides in neat packets,\nWhich helps critics gleaning\nA novel's true meaning\nProvide unpaid blurbs for its jackets.", "id": 14155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Once a punk who had spunk stole a skunk\nFrom the trunk of a monk who was drunk.\nIn bad odour and funk,\nHe slam-dunked Mrs. Skunk\nOn the bunk of the monk, whom she stunk.", "id": 14156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He assumed that a bottle of brandy\nWould assist him in making her randy.\nBut his gift was for naught;\n'Twould have worked if he'd bought\nHer a ring and a big box of candy.", "id": 14157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A blurter is one who would utter\nImpulsively loud and not mutter\nA sentence or word,\nHowever absurd \u2014\nAnd p-possibly with a st-stutter.", "id": 14158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A bookstall sells books, new and old.\nSome old ones are pricy as gold!\nAnd if they are rare\nWith prices unfair,\nIt's ages until they get sold.", "id": 14159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Never bride, she is always a bridesmaid.\nAt the wedding, this standing beside's made\nHer think of that spring\nWhen she turned down his ring;\nShe must live with the life that her pride's made.", "id": 14160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A steer on a night on the town\nSnorted, \"Doorman, you can't turn me down!\nNow don't make me laugh;\nI'm not just a calf.\nI'm highly admittable, clown!\"", "id": 14161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The young grifter's proposed dirty deal\nWas misleading, the dishonest heel.\nHis bad faith guarantee\nWas intended for me,\nBut I saw what he tried to conceal.", "id": 14162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "An old man in the blacksmithing trade\nOnce explained how his horseshoes were made:\nHeat the iron\u2014bend quickly,\nHammer smoothly and slickly,\nNail the plate to the hoof where it's laid.", "id": 14163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My girlfriend is charming and sweet;\nShe's allective from hairdo to feet,\nWhich means she's alluring.\nI found the word during\nMy quest for the quaint obsolete.", "id": 14164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Stacked with secondhand tomes, some once banned,\nOn a side street in town is a stand.\nIt's a bookstall, small scale,\nWhere used books are for sale.\nIt's a bibliophile's promised land.", "id": 14165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I am under the care of my shrink;\nJust what is not letting me think?\nIs it only the fly\nThat's annoying my eye?\nDon't tell me I just need to blink.", "id": 14166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "To identify trees in the park,\nA visitor made this remark:\n\"I'm a nursery man,\nAnd I've found that I can\nDiscern dogwoods by noting their bark.\"", "id": 14167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Coming up on Survivor: Malaysia,\nEach tribe gets a wild ox of Asia\nCalled a banteng. They're tough.\nTie it up with your buff\nAnd milk it. You're up, Anastasia.", "id": 14168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The accident didn't kill Fred.\n\"Please, no penicillin...\" he said.\nBut nobody heard\nHis penultimate word\u2014\nHe's anaphylactically dead.", "id": 14169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Mites and ticks are the subject I'll tackle: I\nWell know they're arachnids called Acari.\nWhile some spread disease,\nBringing men to their knees,\nOther Acari can't even whack a fly.", "id": 14170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A chemical ruled amphoteric\n(And sometimes this beastie is ferric)\nIs acid one place\u2014\nIn another, a base\u2014\nWhich can drive placid chemists hysteric.", "id": 14171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Red shapes, fast removed, would reveal\nA faint afterglow, cyan or teal,\nAnd these figments enthrall.\nThough these pigments I'd call\nAccidental, the colors are real.", "id": 14172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In a semiconductor, the roles\nOf the dopants have opposite poles:\nA donor's charge lands\nIn the valence band's hands,\nBut acceptors give off only holes.", "id": 14173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though my brush strokes were carefully gentle,\nThe critics were harshly judgemental.\nOn the subject, they found\nBlended hues from the ground,\nSo the colors were all accidental.", "id": 14174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Black broughams, whose ghostly wheels furrow\nThe turf, madly search through the borough,\nFrom the sloughs by the loch\nTo the boughs at the brough,\nEvery night, for a wight can be thorough.", "id": 14175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The asteroid group called Amor\nWill descend to the Earth to adore,\nBut their consummate kiss\nIs at best a near-miss.\nWere it not, we'd be flirting no more.", "id": 14176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you look at crude oil with acumen,\nYou see volatiles mixed with bitumen.\nDo the mocking birds cry\nThat their ancestors lie\nIn the asphalt that we are exhumin'?", "id": 14177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When I offered a taste of my wort,\nMy reward was a bitter retort.\nAttenuation looked good,\nSugar dropped as it should,\nBut romance I was forced to cut short.", "id": 14178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Agulhas marine retroflection\nHas an anticyclonic direction,\nAnd it spawns giant rings\nThat bear tropical things\nIn an Indian Ocean connection.", "id": 14179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When an argument's growth never stops,\nThere's no point here in calling the cops.\nTrue anomalies seen\nAs eccentric or mean\nIn celestial mechanics are tops.", "id": 14180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The volleyball girls were asthenic:\nTheir long and lean limbs, Pan-Hellenic.\nA sorry self-kidder,\nI know they'd consider\nA middle-aged man pathogenic.", "id": 14181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Do not mock me, and please, do not probe;\nI do not have the patience of Job.\n\"It's just peanut butter,\"\nI'll desperately mutter.\nI'm an arachibutyrophobe.", "id": 14182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Their high aspirations are bald;\nThey act as if they have been Called.\nMy Wheaties grow sour\nWith each morning's glower:\n\"Choose me! I'm completely appalled!\"", "id": 14183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "What made planetologists swoon\nWas anorthosite found on the Moon.\nHow this white feldspar rock\nRaised the theorists' stock\nIs a tale for a long afternoon.", "id": 14184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "On my Polar Bear swim, physics acted,\nAnd the heat from my core was abstracted.\nI sent prayers devout\nBut continued to doubt\nI'd regain all the parts I'd retracted.", "id": 14185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you're using a subsurface map\nTo divine the best places to tap,\nWhere the layers dip down\nFrom an anticline's crown,\nAnd you're lucky, there could be a trap.", "id": 14186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Dimensionless units may reek\nOf a trekkie's bizarre techno-speak,\nBut if you fine-tune it,\nThe amagat unit\nWill prove you're a helluva geek.", "id": 14187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The color within cannot hide;\nWhen gypsum is chemically dried\nIt's anhydrite, with hue\nOf a pale lilac blue,\nRenamed angelite, New Agers' pride.", "id": 14188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "We think wine (when distilled) is like candy;\nIn Wisconsin, there's always some handy.\nAny cocktail you choose\nThat contains brownish booze\nWe will happily render with brandy.", "id": 14189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With a wedding, their marriage began,\nBut its fate didn't follow his plan.\nA divorce was its doom,\nAnd it gobsmacked the groom\nWhen his bride later picked the best man.", "id": 14190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Co-orbiting stars always race\nRound this unmarked location in space,\nAnd it's kind of the pits;\nWhere the barycenter sits\nThere is always a sun in your face.", "id": 14191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I've a need to be worshipped seraphically;\nIt would hurt if you chose to live sapphically.\nProve your ardency's real:\nLet me test you for zeal\nElectroencephalographically.", "id": 14192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Atahualpa was wrong to assume,\nWith his gold that could fill a big room,\nThat his kingship would last.\nThough his armies were massed,\nSpanish guns, germs, and steel were his doom.", "id": 14193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A dog, without pause or deflection,\nWill solve any maze to perfection.\nOne sniff, and he legs it\nDirect to the exit\u2014\nAmazing, the scents of direction.", "id": 14194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Few pleasures are simpler or better\nThan reading a filial letter.\nWill Shakespeare wrote one\nAs a dutiful son\nTo his father, \"the onlie begetter.\"", "id": 14195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "We're resplendent in purple and blues,\nClothed in brilliant and radiant hues!\nWith our tail-feathers fanned\nWe look regal and grand.\n(It's bizarre, though\u2014we're both kangaroos.)", "id": 14197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "When single malt whiskies are blended\nThe final result may be splendid.\nBut if they don't fit\nEach other a bit,\nThen you get what you never intended.", "id": 14198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Is your network in protocol need?\nI have a solution, indeed:\nYou just have to grapple\nWith software from Apple \u2014\nUse AppleTalk, then you'll succeed.", "id": 14199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"We're affined?\" said my boyfriend; \"Ahem...\nI am bound to complain and condemn\nYour licentious design\nTo confine me in twine\nWith this sanctioned-by-law S&M!\"", "id": 14200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm grateful to you for designing\nMy shoe; I have taken a shining\nTo the linen inside it.\nI sighed when I tried it:\nMy moccasin's bocasin lining.", "id": 14201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The widow is heaving a sigh\nAnd bereaving the loss of her guy.\nI wonder, why is it\nThat fabric exquisite\nCalled black's what they wear when you die?", "id": 14202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With my mittens I'm smitten\u2014are you?\nThey were joined at their bottoms when new.\nWith my canines I chew\n'Til I've nibbled right through\u2014\nNow my mittens are bitten in two.", "id": 14203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A sponge who has mastered the sport, sir,\nOf fencing would certainly thwart, sir,\nA poet she knows\nBy absorbing his blows\nSince absorbency's clearly her forte, sir.", "id": 14204, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Bow Street, the novelist Fielding\nTrained six new policemen, each wielding\nA truncheon. Soon crooks\nViewed these Runners with looks\nThat were daggers\u2014their knives they'd be yielding.", "id": 14205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "If you don't want a swimsuit that's teeny,\nYou'll be wise not to try a bikini.\nEven worse is the thong,\nWhich unless I am wrong,\nWould more aptly be called the betweeni.", "id": 14206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A p and an h and an m\nShare a round calligraphical gem\nCalled a bow: it's composed,\nEither open or closed,\nOf a curve that's attached to a stem.", "id": 14207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A grievous affliction of spirit\nSo bitter, it pains us to hear it!\nThe plight of the outcast,\nWhen known, will no doubt cast\nA pall on the rich who live near it.", "id": 14208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "What a lovely vacation I planned\nTo Bilbao; it turned out to be grand!\nI just boarded a plane\nFor the north coast of Spain\nAnd did nothing but Basque in the sand.", "id": 14209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "We may differ in some ways, I know,\nBut we're all biauricular, so\nThat in having two ears,\nAll of mankind are peers.\n(Okay, maybe not Vincent van Gogh.)", "id": 14210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Well, it's down in my shed, in the rear,\nWith the rest of my well-drilling gear.\nBut why all the suspicion\nAnd such inquisition\nOf where I have bentonite, dear?", "id": 14211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Well, the sand on the beach teemed with fleas,\nAnd the tap water carried disease.\nAnd now British Honduras\nTries fixing its tsouris\nBy changing its name? Oh Belize!", "id": 14212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A landmark in Harlem for years,\nThe Apollo's launched stellar careers.\nOn its Amateur Night,\nHopefuls try to shine bright,\nWinning shout-outs and audience cheers.", "id": 14213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Roman sat down by a lass\nAt a chariot race, made a pass,\n\"See these wonderful coins?\nBet they're bronze as your loins.\"\n\"One's like you,\" she replied. \"It's an as.\"", "id": 14214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "If hearing or speaking's too hard,\nYou'll hold 7-1-1 in regard.\nThat's the number you'll call\nTo convert your typed scrawl;\nIt's much quicker than sending a card.", "id": 14215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"What's that noise? It is blind Bartimaeus;\nHe sounds like a pest sent to try us.\nHear his cries\u2014they increase.\nCan't the man hold his peace?\nDo be still!\" were the words of the pious.", "id": 14216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our boy Eliot makes such a mess,\nPutting bootleggers under duress;\nThough the speakeasies topple,\nI wish he would stop all\nThis nasty abominableness.", "id": 14217, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's authentic: the truly real deal;\nNothing phoney or fake; the appeal\nOf the genuine stuff.\nForget feint, banish bluff;\nThere's no knockoff nor lies to conceal.", "id": 14218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Confronting the puzzle acrostic,\nSaid Dick, \"I am sure to get lost quick!\nIf it weren't for clues,\nI'd be hittin' the booze,\nAnd quite purposely get very sauced (hic).\"", "id": 14219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The axe, even missing the \"e\",\nAs a cutting tool, fells you a tree.\nBut the axes, with end-ess,\nAre straight lines, thus bend-less;\nAround them spin objects quite free.", "id": 14220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Guess I'll show all them high-brow elites \u2014\nSince it's true that you is what you eats,\nThen to write verses good\nI did just like I should:\nSpent the week eating well-measured beets.", "id": 14221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "So what's next? You just got your M.D.\nSink or swim, in the residents' sea!\nYour attending (head pimper)\nWill grill you and simper\nUntil you just whimper and pee.", "id": 14222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "\"At last my poor leg he adducts!\nWas the doctor replacing my Tucks?\nAnd I felt something rip!\"\n\"He was testing your hip.\n(He'll replace it for eight thousand bucks.)\"", "id": 14223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Strobel", "limerick": "Don't assume that the ant cow's a cow.\nTo milk one, we just don't know how.\nBut ants like to tend\nTo this aphid's rear end,\nFrom which honeydew passes for chow.", "id": 14224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "While doodling around with my pens,\nI drew something that looked like a lens.\nIt was hollowed each side\n)Like, biconcave(.  I tried\nTo perceive it as backwards parens.", "id": 14225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "How inept was the would-be adept\nWho forgot where true power is kept\u2014\nIn a spell-packed grimoire.\nHe passed out in a bar,\nAnd his magic was robbed as he slept.", "id": 14226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Those nifty armillary things\nAre objects with multiple rings,\nLike the actress so dear,\nMs. Armillary Sphere,\nQuite rotund after five married flings.", "id": 14227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes and SheilaB", "limerick": "We're the live-music hub of the world,\nWhere the Lone Star is proudly unfurled.\nWe're a hot high-tech place\nWith a wild breakneck pace\u2014\nTo futurity Austin is hurled.", "id": 14228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Acoustic impedance, called \"Z\",\nIs the ratio sound pressure \"p\"\nOver \"v\" (that's velocity).\nThere's still curiosity?\nYou'll hear no resistance from me.", "id": 14229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Soon my brainy boy Brian turns ten,\nWill his limericks be flawless by then?\nThere is simply no telling,\nBut knowing his spelling\u2014\nHe'd better not write them in pen.", "id": 14230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "There's something I need to confess:\nThe boy in my house makes a mess.\nYou really must see\nThat the boy, he is me.\nMy messy address gives Mom stress!", "id": 14231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A red pen, an illegible scrawl,\nRampant lunacy, total recall,\nVast arrays, empty nests,\nSubtle hints, supple breasts:\nThey're attributive adjectives, all.", "id": 14232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If you're taking a drink as a bracer\n(Such as Scotch with a Heineken chaser),\nThe purpose it serves\nIs steeling the nerves\nFor whatever you may have to face, sir.", "id": 14233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A convict of manner audacious\nEscaped, but a trail alliaceous\nAllowed a good hound\nTo run him to ground\n(Eating shallots, he'd been too voracious).", "id": 14234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Around about ten, after brandy,\nAn angel-beast round can be dandy.\nEach antes a shilling;\nMy wife makes a killing\u2014\nThree queens in her hand come in handy!", "id": 14235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The pharaoh, to keep himself cool,\nMade bipyramid building the rule.\nUp-and-down he would build it;\nWhen done, he half-filled it\nWith water\u2014a pyramid pool!", "id": 14236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "My blood's lacking the key AHG\u2014\nHemophilia's my problem, you see.\nMy prescription was written,\nBut I went to Great Britain\nWhere the government gives it out free!", "id": 14237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For loudness, there's none can surpass\nAll the instruments known as the brass.\nTubas, horns, and trombones\nPlay the solemnest tones,\nBut the trumpets can seem rather crass.", "id": 14238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "When the weather is balmy and mild,\nYour streamlet is gentle, unriled.\nBut when wind becomes frightening,\nWith thunder and lightning,\nExpect for your bourn to be wild.", "id": 14239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Ancient comets and meteors fly\nLonely eons, then fall here to die.\nWhen commanded to yield\nBy our atmosphere-shield,\nThey explode in an airburst on high.", "id": 14240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Add a prayer to your mumblings matin\nThat we never encounter an Aten,\nAnd reflect while you're flossing,\nThese rocks, if Earth-crossing,\nOur civilization could flatten.", "id": 14241, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The aurorae they call borealis\nColdly glow in an arctic ice-palace,\nAnd I'll photograph sights\nOf these pale \"northern lights\"\n'Til my finger develops a callus.", "id": 14242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm the autarch: I govern alone.\nJust how did I come by this throne?\nWas it breeding, or brains,\nOr my punctual trains,\nOr that no living rivals are known?", "id": 14243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "The abbacy's vaudeville revue\nFeatured many an abbot's debut,\nBut they laughed fit to burst\nAt the straight man on first:\nThat's the Abbott who showed up with Lou.", "id": 14244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To breastfeed in public once stunned,\nAnd the mothers who did it were shunned.\nBut today it's old hat;\nAnd I'm glad about that,\n'Cause La Lecher's a term that I punned.", "id": 14245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SafetyDog", "limerick": "The bandsman, whose tuba was borne\nBy a porter, was showered with scorn\nFrom the band.  A musician\nWho's won the audition\nShould modestly tote his own horn.", "id": 14246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "A creative young man from Carrera\nTook a poster by Hanna-Barbera\nAnd stuck it with glue\nTo an old piece of shoe.\n\"Et voil\u00e0!\" he said, \"Arte Povera!\"", "id": 14247, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The latest a sunrise can get\nAin't the day of its earliest set?\nThe sun's analemma\nExplains this dilemma.\nNext solstice lay down a sure bet.", "id": 14248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The Benevolent League of Tooth Fairies\nFinds the mood of its membership varies\nWhen it comes to a vote,\nYea or Nay, to promote\nOr to actively fight active caries.", "id": 14249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The mobsters, thick-muscled and scarred,\nHold old Will in the highest regard.\nIn the show Kiss Me, Kate,\nThis advice they relate:\nIt behooves you to brush up your Bard.", "id": 14250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "An astroseismologist takes\nHis trade from a star when it quakes.\nSome find this surprising\nTo hear, realizing\nA sun really shakes as it bakes.", "id": 14251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When stars like the Sun call it quits,\nThey will blow up in spherical fits\nLike vast Roman candles.\nA few shoot off \"handles\";\nThese ansae are stars doing splits.", "id": 14253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The spirits were having some sport.\nFor my weight, now I'm overly short.\nEctoplasm abounds,\nBut to gain fifty pounds\nIs the cruelest kind of apport.", "id": 14254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There's an atrioventricular block\nThat's preventing a life-giving shock\n(AV block, 2-to-1),\nAnd it's really no fun,\nThough it might make one stop and take stock.", "id": 14255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Young aristocrats, as they're preparing\nFor lordship, learn carriage and bearing.\nThey must master RP,\nAnd then following tea,\nTurn attention to gambling and swearing.", "id": 14256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Icy breeze makes a horse stamp and chuff;\nWaving trees in a zephyr will sough,\nAnd a sailor caught napping\nWill wake to the flapping\nAnd snapping of sails, all aluff.", "id": 14257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Leaving enemies clammy and breathless\nIn a search for a reign that was deathless,\nMight he live to old age\n(Not beheaded offstage)\nIf he first could be Lady Macbethless?", "id": 14258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Venus's phase is a crescent,\nThe unlit side looks luminescent.\nI wept at the sight\nOf this pale ashen light,\nAnd they fed me an antidepressant.", "id": 14259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Finding elements four wasn't cheap,\nFor philosophers think and drink deep.\n\"More spirits...\" was slurred.\nThen the fifth one occurred:\nIt was aether. They fell fast asleep.", "id": 14260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A procedure oft given short shrift,\nOnce it's mastered, is truly a gift.\nIf you want to be light\nOr achieve greater height,\nSimply grab your own bootstraps and lift.", "id": 14261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Baade's Window's a jewel, if you've seen it,\nAnd the view? Well, it's hard to demean it.\nThrough the dust, it's a door\nTo the Galaxy's core.\n(But please, never ask me to clean it!)", "id": 14262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "For musicians, the octave is shown\nBy letters with primes or alone.\nThe note BBB\nIs below middle C\nBy two octaves and one semitone.", "id": 14263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If a sweet-talker dishes up platters\nOf esteem-building blather that flatters,\nAnd is turning your head,\nKeep your senses instead.\nHe's a blandisher\u2014none of it matters.", "id": 14264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "She gave birth on the spaceship Vermeer\nWith a boost factor way above peer,\nSo contractions occurred,\nAnd dilations? Absurd!\nHer delivery lasted a year!", "id": 14265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In vain, to my class, I insisted\nInvisible photons existed,\nBut the time that I showed\nHow my underwear glowed\nGot both me and my blacklight black-listed.", "id": 14266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Nicholson noticed Ananke,\nHe probably needed a hanky\nTo wipe joyous tears;\nHe'd been searching for years\nFor more Jupiter-style hanky-panky.", "id": 14267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "They are swaddled in cold atrous shrouds\nKnown as giant molecular clouds\u2014\nNewborn clusters of stars\u2014\nAs astrogeny spars\nWith the darkness that hems its bright crowds.", "id": 14268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When tides flow, anemones clash:\nPolyps creep in a real-estate dash.\nSwollen tentacle-things,\nAcrorhagi with stings,\nDrive invaders away with the lash.", "id": 14269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Avicenna, the Prince of Physicians,\nServed princes and cured their conditions.\nHis Canon was hotter\nThan our Harry Potter\nFor medical, magic traditions.", "id": 14270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Clay bricks line a ladle for steel;\nThey bloat when they're heated and seal\nAll their joints and their cracks,\nThough the brick still reacts\nWith the slag, so it's short of ideal.", "id": 14271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On St. Paddy's Day, feminists say,\n\"Come and see our parade \u2014 don't delay!\"\nWith my breast swelled with pride\nI'm all jiggly inside,\nWatching Erin go braless today.", "id": 14272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When a bedswerver's hungry for spice,\nIt's unlikely she'll heed the advice\nWhen her conscience yells, \"Don't!\"\nAnd I'm guessing she won't\nGive a thought to adultery's price.", "id": 14273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Off Hawaii, I rented a punt\nFor a beautimous wampeejaw hunt.\nWant to feel like a dope? Fish\nFor this longtailed slopefish:\nThe biggest is only a runt.", "id": 14274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Computers are richly bestowed\nWith software you want them to load.\nI'm sensing an odor \u2014\nJust what loads the loader?\nAnd what boots the bootstrapping code?", "id": 14275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As designers of optics, we slur\nAny lenses where defects occur,\nAnd we know the equations\nFor most aberrations,\nBut bokeh's a bit of a blur.", "id": 14276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Hippopotami massed in a bloat\nWill threaten and sink a small boat.\nThough a fat river-horse\nSlurps a veggie main course,\nYou're invading his turf when you float.", "id": 14277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When an atom was queried today\nIf she'd suffered a beta decay,\nHer response was demure,\nSo I asked, \"Are you sure?\"\nShe was positive. What can I say?", "id": 14278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In garlic, the allicin burns.\nI munch and I ponder by turns\nHow my sensors for heat\nAre invoked by this treat,\nAnd how vampires' advances it spurns.", "id": 14279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "What all quantum mechanics suppose,\nThe Aharonov-Bohm effect shows:\nThat electromagnetical\nGauge-theoretical\nHand-waving's right on the nose.", "id": 14280, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The autochrome guys got the blues:\nThey were known for their delicate hues,\nAnd they hadn't had peers\nFor at least thirty years,\nBut then Kodachrome Red hit the news.", "id": 14281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Eleven ants drove in their van\nTo a building\u2014to move there the plan.\nBut the parking lot sign\nHad an off-putting line:\nTENANTS ONLY, the wording began.", "id": 14283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "New-age mystics are making us slaves\nTo our EEG readings, the knaves!\nIt's not hocus-pocus\nBut mere lack of focus\nThat seems to produce alpha waves.", "id": 14284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"On my uncle, my wrath I'll exact.\"\nIt was then Hamlet should have attacked.\nNow to further delay\nHe's directing a play!\nHamlet waits in the wings; he should act.", "id": 14285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "We ought to feed Junior the best, Fred.\nThe goods are right here on my chest, Fred.\nDon't do things by halves;\nCows' milk is for calves!\nHe's best fed the best, Fred, he's breastfed!", "id": 14286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "\"A-ha! Here's the problem!\" said Doc.\n\"This congenital defect may shock!\nSuch atresic conditions\nAre 'blocks' or 'omissions'.\nThis poor semi-colon's a crock!\"", "id": 14287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I've a list of disaster and doom,\nAnd I'm filled with foreboding and gloom.\nApohele space-rocks\nCan't give Earth-killing shocks;\nNow my list has a little more room.", "id": 14289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The alchemist's gimmick with heat,\nG.E. and its wizards would beat.\nCountless ovens were sold\nIn the athanor's mold,\nAnd transmuted to gold on the Street.", "id": 14290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "If we only could keep them in line,\nAll these white collar thieves (oh, those swine!)\nWho we find cook their books.\nNow these fine fancy crooks\nAre accounting for crimes. That's just fine!", "id": 14291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "It's many a time I've been chided,\nFor all of the time that I've bided.\nI'm told that I'm lazy,\nBut isn't that crazy?\nJust see the results I've provided.", "id": 14292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Aheight means aloft or on high,\nLike a bird or a fly in the sky,\nThough this rather old word\nSo seldom is heard,\nWe might as well just let it die.", "id": 14293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "An adeniform mass, when it's scanned,\nLooks closely akin to a gland.\nSomething digitate, though,\nCan look just like a toe\nOr those things sticking out of your hand.", "id": 14294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "The agricultor needed some water.\n\"Gotta grow some top crops, so I oughtter\nGet off of my rail\nAnd get me a pail.\"\nNow, the tale of the old farmer's daughter...", "id": 14295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "James A. Hendricks", "limerick": "I intend, first, to write you a story.\nI'm hoping to make it quite gory.\nBut hidden inside\nI'll add Frankenstein's Bride.\nThat'll make my poor tale additory.", "id": 14296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many words start or end with a B,\nBut this board is too busy for me.\nSince I've nowhere to play\nEither B in my tray,\nI'm B-leaguered in Scrabble, U C.", "id": 14297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's aspic, a gelatin dish\nMade of veggies or meat stock or fish.\nIt's too wiggly to grasp,\nLike its namesake, the asp.\nUh . . . No thanks, I'll just have a knish.", "id": 14298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Aquavit, taken neat, makes one placid.\nHave too much, though, and you may go flaccid.\nAnd avoid aqua fortis \u2014\nYou'll get rigor mortis!\nIt's commonly called nitric acid.", "id": 14299, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "In arrondissement 5, in Paree,\nLes putains have such swift repartee.\nWhen we sought a m\u00e9nage,\nWe got this badinage:\nWe asked, \"May we?\"  She answered, \"Mais oui!\"", "id": 14300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Andalusite, it isn't no jive\nThat for you I have taken a dive.\nThere's no ifs, ands, ore buts \u2014\nI've completely gone nuts\nFor your Al2SiO5!", "id": 14301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "When discussing cathedrals, you chaps\nWould do well to remember the apse.\nIt's the jutting-out bit\nWhere the altar would sit\nTo stay safe, should a buttress collapse.", "id": 14302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "For a Bing I will jump through a hoop,\nAnd for Bigarreau let out a whoop.\nThese two kinds of cherry\nWill make me feel merry\nWhenever my spirits would drupe.", "id": 14303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "At the bar I said, \"Listen here, 'tender \u2014\nI'm about to embark on a bender.\nJust keep filling my glass\nTill I'm drunk off my ass\nAnd I don't know my name, age or gender.\"", "id": 14304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"That cow looks suspicious to me...\nHasn't moved since 2.30, I see.\"\n\"Aye, our Bessie's insane.\nIt's her spongiform brain\u2014\nBSE. Now she thinks she's a tree.\"", "id": 14305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "When an angel with wings and white gown\nHovered calmly, removing my frown,\nI was joyfully new\n(And ecstatically, too)\nAs she smiled beatifically down.", "id": 14306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From American Idol I've taken\nSome guilty delight, even makin'\nA call and a vote\nFor a singer of note\u2014\nThe refreshing and dorky Clay Aiken.", "id": 14307, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aparna Ray", "limerick": "Our takeover bid will prevail\nIf our rival is forced to turn tail.\nWe must take this chance\u2014\nPlug their source of finance;\nLet a bankmail be signed without fail!", "id": 14308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you're heating your water up, hot,\nAnd a pound's the amount that you've got,\nEach degree you go through\nRequires one BTU\n(For an hour, three-tenths of a watt).", "id": 14309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the Church couldn't get the straight dope,\nTwo regions each chose their own pope.\nThough reasons were scanty,\nOne pope became \"anti\";\nThe Vatican cancelled his cope.", "id": 14310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "He remembers a lass of low station\nWho rekindled a certain sensation.\nHe desires to be kissed,\nSo he pays for each tryst\nIn the bawdy house, per assignation.", "id": 14311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jantine Bootsman", "limerick": "When I go out alone late at night,\nI keep toothbrush and passport in sight\u2014\n'Cause should aliens grab me\nAs their next abductee,\nI'll make sure I'm prepared for the flight.", "id": 14312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "\"What's that creature?\" I asked Gerald Durrell.\nHe replied: \"I should say it's a bharal,\n'Cause it bleats 'bhaa, bhaa, bhaa'.\nI can't tell from this far\nIf the beast is a bhoy or a gharal.\"", "id": 14313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "There was a young woman named Loring\nWho woke in the night to hear snoring;\n\"My goodness!\" she said,\n\"Who's this man in my bed?\nOh, of course \u2014 I got married. How boring.\"", "id": 14314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Step right up!  Take a look, and you'll see a\nCollection of critters, archaea:\nThis domain's full of things\n(Without legs, without wings),\nAnd yet nobody knew they were heah.", "id": 14315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If your craft's slowing down, just acquaint\nIts whole belly with ship bottom paint.\nRoll a really thick coat\nDown the length of your boat\nBefore barnacles grow where it ain't.", "id": 14316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "To recognize ash-coated cheese\nLook for grey-coloured goat cheeses, please.\nYou can tell them by sight;\nIf the outside is white,\nThen the rind is not ash: it's a brie's.", "id": 14317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"There is fire and brimstone in Hell,\nWhere you'll burn with a heat you can't quell.\"\nWhat is brimstone's appeal?\nIt's just sulfur\u2014big deal!\nWhen you're burning, who cares 'bout the smell?", "id": 14318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Although you and your kids often feud,\nStill, what have you gained when you've stewed?\nThough it's good you're concerned,\nIt is time that you've learned\nNot to brood 'bout your rude brood's crude mood.", "id": 14319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "In animal shape it's the norm\nFor function to influence form.\nAn anteater grows\nAn elongated nose\nFor taking an anthill by storm.", "id": 14320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The platypus, friends, is unique\nNot just on account of its beak.\nIt has fur crown to legs,\nYet the darling lays eggs!\nAnomalous seems a bit weak.", "id": 14321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Consider  Sir Jagadis Bose,\nWho crowed in a moment jocose,\n\"Solari?  Marconi?\nA fake and a phony!\nThose guys didn't even come close!\"", "id": 14322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A.M. Gillespie", "limerick": "He's in love with my daughter, I see,\nThough a Brummie brown bagger he be.\nBut to give him her hand\nAnd bequeath him my land?\nGood for him, but disastrous for me.", "id": 14323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "That's an angel shark there\u2014have you seen 'er?\nCompared to most sharks, she is leaner.\nBe wary, young swimmer\u2014\nAlthough she is trimmer,\nThis Squatina squatina's meaner.", "id": 14324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When his son said, \"Don't measure my worth\nBy my parentage, station, or birth,\"\nThe Marquis slapped his knee\nAnd erupted with glee:\n\"That leaves nothing to measure but girth!\"", "id": 14325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A nod of the head, people say,\nMeans agreement\u2014\"all right\" or \"okay.\"\nSuch a nod by a horse\n(Called a bite) means, of course,\nDisagreement, expressed by a \"neigh.\"", "id": 14326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A binder's a bore who keeps droning\nWhile others around him are groaning.\nThey're binding, which means\n(Where the toast comes with beans)\nTo admonish by bitching and moaning.", "id": 14327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The shoemaker sits on a tack,\nBounces up with a howl, then falls back\nOn his daughter, who's staining\nSome leather; complaining,\nShe spatters her pater with black.", "id": 14328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The coin called an angel portrayed\nAn old dragon recumbent, and slayed\nBy the archangel Michael.\nWhen through with its cycle\n'Twas weighed, after debts had been paid.", "id": 14329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "This liquid's significant (very!),\nThough oxygenated, not airy.\nIt's blood\u2014it renews\nAll the sinews you use;\nWith tomato and vodka, it's Mary!", "id": 14330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I've been offered a bill of exchange\nAs a loan, which I'm thinking is strange,\nSince its basis in law\nSays I've money to draw\nOn anon; all I've got, though, is mange.", "id": 14331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Robert Holland", "limerick": "Big Brother infuriates me.\n\"Two and two equal five... you agree?\"\nBut whenever I add\nI get four, and I'm mad,\nSince his slogans distort what I see.", "id": 14332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ellla B.", "limerick": "Miss M. loved her curds at midday.\nThe rake thought he'd sweep her awhey.\nAlong came that spider,\nBut she was no bider.\nShe fled with the rou\u00e9's toupee.", "id": 14333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Each ant lion digs its own pit,\nAt the bottom of which it will sit.\nWhen an ant comes along,\nTakes a step that is wrong,\nThen it's gobbled up, lickety-split.", "id": 14334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "If a bilayer acts as it should,\nIt envelops a cell like a hood.\nPhospholipids galore\nCan behave like a door,\nLetting molecules in that seem good.", "id": 14335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "First I saw Eric's blue chipper bet\n(I'd three kings, my best poker hand yet);\nRaised him Microsoft stock\n(Thought the game was a lock);\nBut I lost. Now I'm deeper in debt.", "id": 14336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Each time that I walk over grates\nMy skirt puffs way up, then deflates.\n  Now the office boy's plans\n  Involve ductwork and fans:\nThe exposure most clearly relates.", "id": 14337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "man from tashkent", "limerick": "Give me audience, heed what I say;\nWe must hurry! No time to delay,\n  For those white-coated men\n  Have now found me again,\nAnd they're coming to take me away.", "id": 14338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My begging I've honed to a T:\nThere's no beggar who's better than me.\nFolks write checks and give cash\nJust to add to my stash,\nAnd last week someone gave a TV!", "id": 14339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "A  monk, having read some arcana,\nSaid, \"Cool, that's for me, a no-brainer.\nBecome One, be Enlightened\u2014\nNo need to be frightened;\nIt's peaceful, Nirvana, but plainer.\"", "id": 14340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke and Steve Ngai", "limerick": "Having toiled all my life, having whiled\nAway hours so rapt and beguiled,\nSans acknowledgement\u2014well,\nI can say, let me tell\nYou\u2014I still feel that fortune has smiled.", "id": 14341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Established for good on that day\nWas the fame of the Frenchman, Auger.\nThrough a path indirect,\nHe could claim an effect\nOn electrons that wandered away.", "id": 14342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "In the benzidine crystal there lies\nThe colorful past of cloth dyes.\nWe've good reason to rue\nC12H12N2;\nIt was banned to prevent our demise.", "id": 14343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "Brenda blotted her tears on her blouse\nWhile bemoaning the beaux of her spouse\u2014\n\"He's been carrying on\nWith Marie, Dick, and John;\nMy boudoir has become a full house!\"", "id": 14344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "When the armorer looks at the knight,\nHis professional thought is contrite;\nIf the knight goes to war\nWith flint shield as decor,\nThen his anger's not all he'll ignite.", "id": 14345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When my motor was hit by a truck,\nI was mad and got into a ruck\nWith the driver.  I hit\nHim and shouted, \"You [bleep]!\nWas your head up your [bleep], you dumb [bleep]?\"", "id": 14346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "We shared latitude, longitude too,\nBut our hemispheres differed, you knew.\nWe're antoecial, which makes\nUs antoeci, lands sakes!\nWorld of difference between me and you.", "id": 14347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Back and forth on I-495,\nIt's a struggle just staying alive.\nNow my get-up-and-go\nIs pathetically low,\n'Cause the beltway's sapped all of my drive.", "id": 14348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the horse had been forced to divorce\n('Tain't a course the resourceful endorse),\nAs a recently free horse,\nThis stallion had recourse\u2014\nAnd fell for a seahorse, of course.", "id": 14350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the sailor's last fight (altercation),\nFlailing left and then right (alternation),\nHe got tripped, and he slipped;\nSeems his uniform ripped.\nSo they're sewing his seams (alteration).", "id": 14351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "The chemist exclaimed with surprise,\n\"Are you blind, boys? Believe your own eyes!\nCan you claim you don't see\nAny atoms?  Oh gee!\nYou're looking right atom, you guys!\"", "id": 14352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Baggins escaped from the jail,\nWith Beauregard hot on his tail,\nThe hobbit, to kill Beau,\nDrew Sting, his new bilbo,\nWhich sundered poor Beauregard's mail.", "id": 14353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Though your very best writing of all\nIs your autobiography, small\nConsolation that is:\nIn the publishing biz,\nAdoxographies seldom enthral.", "id": 14354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Your lens isn't apochromatic?\nMy comment is brief, but emphatic:\nYour livelihood hinges\nOn whether those fringes\nAre taken for Art, or erratic.", "id": 14355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "Admix doesn't play any tricks.\nI'll define it with letters just six.\nThe prefix confounds?\nIt's just how it sounds.\nTo put it concisely: add/mix.", "id": 14356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "When my bro bought this four-bucks-rent avenue,\nI said \"Baltic?? You must have some Slav in you.\"\nBut with Mediterranean\u2014\nThat was insane! He in-\nstalled hotels...You've been there, haven' you?", "id": 14357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Bodysurfers who live on the edge,\nCome to Newport Beach: tackle the Wedge.\nUnless you're the best\nAnd are up to the test,\nYou'll get worked and you'll end up a veg!", "id": 14358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Apostolic succession (historic)\nIs emphatically not metaphoric,\nAnd apostolicity\nNot a \"publicity\nStunt.\" Don't be so sophomoric.", "id": 14359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Ancient Romans considered it quaint\nTo embellish their pavement with paint.\nAsarotum's the term\nFor such art, I affirm.\n(An anatomy label it ain't.)", "id": 14360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "I felt an odd lump with my hand,\nSo I visited Doctor Mole\u2014and\nHe said, \"No need to dwell.\nIt's an adenose swell.\nThere's no cancer. It's just a sore gland.\"", "id": 14361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Anorthography isnt an orth\n\u00a0\u00a0  Or a graffee tht goES BAK Nforth\nIt kan not bee invIGHTing\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0     2 reed WHUT IM RITNg\n   Liek ridin a rodeeo horth", "id": 14362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "I'm an apiarist from Belize.\nBut no monkey jokes, now, if you please.\nYou see, monkeys aren't apes \u2014\nJust as bagels aren't crepes.\nAnd moreover, the subject is bees.", "id": 14363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "An amorous woman said, \"Golly!\nI wonder what's doing with Wally?\nHe oohs and he ahs\nFor a girl from La Paz:\nHe's so chilly to me, hot to Molly!\"", "id": 14364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I can't watch \u2014 but I must! It's the pits:\nNeedle biopsy has me in fits.\nWhen they aspirate cells\nI'm in multiple hells:\nThere's a chance that I'll make the obits.", "id": 14365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and CruzerX", "limerick": "In da 'hood, every bro wants a mate\nWith a backside (da rackside don't rate).\nEvery playah and punk\nLoves da junk in da trunk.\nBootyliciousness! Yo, she looks great!", "id": 14366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "We are circling the Galaxy's mass\nLike a train around mountains of gas.\nThe best train-hopping spot\n(Nice and slow, like as not)\nIs the apogalacticon pass.", "id": 14367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Pesky enemies try to Swiss-cheese ya,\nSo a hauberk you don, to your knees! Ya\nWear an acton beneath\nAs a soft cotton sheath,\nSo your nipples won't need anesthesia.", "id": 14368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When programmers did their jobs well,\nThen orderly patterns befell.\nAlas, much less scanty\nWere patterns called \"anti\",\nA part of a nasty \"code smell.\"", "id": 14369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If each second you measure just one\nSingle disintegration (what fun!),\nThen the unit to use\nIs a becquerel: choose\nTo write Bq\u2014don't shout and don't run.", "id": 14370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Bathysophical pro Jacques Cousteau\nTo the depths of the ocean would go;\nThought that he'd like to be\nSwimming under the sea\nIn some octopod's garden below.", "id": 14371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"What's that sound?\" asked my just-woken mate.\n\"I can hear an old dog, and it's late!\"\nWhile we now say he barks,\nMaking doggie remarks,\nIt used to be called allatrate.", "id": 14372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "These drugs that we're constantly taking,\nNo differences seem to be making.\nAdiaphorous:  thus\nThey're placebos for us,\nFor there's been no effect on our aching.", "id": 14373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "You know she's a brown recluse spider,\nFor she bit you the moment you eyed 'er,\nAnd the shape of a fiddle\nAppears on her middle.\nQuick\u2014dial your health care provider!", "id": 14374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Back when I was a kid we played PONG.\nIt was first, but it wouldn't reign long.\nOur Atari was neat,\nBut it couldn't compete\nWhen Nintendo released Donkey Kong.", "id": 14375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "There once was a beachboy named Hootie\nWhom the girls all considered a cutie.\nThough his job was to cater\nAnd to serve as a waiter,\nWhen off duty, young Hootie chased booty.", "id": 14376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "From the acotyledons, we learn\nThat some plants like a moss or a fern\nHave no seed leaves, and so,\nWhen they're starting to grow,\nHave no stored food to which they can turn.", "id": 14377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "For this sauce with tomatoes, you've gotta\nHave garlic; you won't need ricotta.\nThen red peppers you add,\nWhich makes the sauce mad,\nAnd your dish is all arrabbiata.", "id": 14378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If the docs had a cure worth salutin',\nFor which parents were prayin' and rootin',\nAnd with vapors or salts\nCould cure Asperger's faults...\nNot so fast! We'd have missed Isaac Newton!", "id": 14379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "From the mountain a bourn trickles down\nAnd traverses the trail into town.\nThough I've got to get o'er it,\nI'll simply ignore it:\nIt's so small, I'm unlikely to drown.", "id": 14380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Hamsadhwani", "limerick": "Sandalwood, jasmine, and rose\nAre musky delights for the nose.\nBut I'll cough, spew, and sputter,\nAnd puke in the gutter,\nConfronted with attar of toes.", "id": 14381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Hamsadhwani", "limerick": "If one were to dare to defame\nAn adducer, he'd quickly proclaim\nThrough copious citation\nAnd dry illustration\nExamples to de-shame his name.", "id": 14382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Hamsadhwani", "limerick": "Meandering in the vicinity\nOf murky, mysterious infinity,\nMathematical functions\nHad violent conjunctions,\nAnd reached asymptotic divinity.", "id": 14383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Do I miss the baronial pile?\nIn truth, it's been gone quite a while.\nThe barony's name\nStill remains; just the same,\nShould you call me a baron, I'd smile.", "id": 14384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "So, suppose you've got cookies and milk,\nAnd a man of unsavory ilk\nShould just happen along,\nScam your drink and get gone \u2014\nThat man is a swindler, or bilk.", "id": 14385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "If you're looking to find aguacate,\nDon't look where they make chocolate.\nHere's some help (a fresh tip):\nAvocados for dip!\nSo you won't find it added to mate.", "id": 14387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I have fear in my heart, and my mind's\nFull of angst when I think of all kinds\nOf bad things to go wrong.\nThen I fret all day long,\nAnd at night, little rest my mind finds.", "id": 14388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Though they surely don't wish to seem saleable,\nTheir get-ups imply, \"I'm available.\"\nToday's stylish teens\nMight wear hip-hugging jeans,\nBut to touch one, I've heard, can be jailable.", "id": 14389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "When birth's still a faraway goal,\nIn an embryo's center's a hole.\nWhen pronouncing, be kind,\nAnd please do keep in mind\nThat it's blastocoel, not blast-o-cole.", "id": 14390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A flying-trapeze man named Keith\nStayed aloft by a rope in his teeth.\nHe'd not much to say\n'Til his girlfriend, one day,\nTossed his shorts to the netting beneath.", "id": 14391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When our singular values are stressed\nAnd we say that America's blessed,\nWe use wholesome clich\u00e9s,\nLike that apple-pie phrase\nIn which Mom will appear as a guest.", "id": 14392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Three cheers for the crude alternator,\nA widely in use generator!\nIf this falls apart,\nYour car may not start.\n(We'll cover direct current later.)", "id": 14393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey and mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Japanese town of Ako\nHad a noted historical show:\nSome samurai drew\nTheir revenge, and then slew\nThemselves in a tale of much woe.", "id": 14394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes and lopey", "limerick": "There's a student I knew from Parnassus\nWho had trouble equating his gases.\nHe had to fine tune it\nWith the amagat unit\nAnd now passes gases in classes.", "id": 14395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "There's a guy raising bivalves who hurls\nLittle pigs where the sea whirls and swirls.\nHe is hoping to seed\nGlowing gems with this feed.\n(That's called \"casting your swine before pearls.\")", "id": 14396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The word bounden's decidedly snooty;\nIf you use it, you'll sound slightly fruity.\nThere is only one phrase\nWhere we hear it these days\u2014\nIt is used as a prelude to duty.", "id": 14397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "At this cool, sparkling stream take a look,\nAnd remember each cranny and nook.\nRecollect every rill\nAs it tumbles downhill,\nTill you've studied this bourn like a brook.", "id": 14398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and TrossL", "limerick": "Simply add to the grasp of a rhesus\nThe antithesis, psychokinesis,\nAnd I guarantee\nIt's a sure Ph.D.\nI won't write it, though. I'm anti-thesis.", "id": 14399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Irene Weber", "limerick": "There once was a girl named Alceste\nWhose temper was testy at best,\nBut her artwork, you see,\nWas serene as could be.\nTo this I can truly attest.", "id": 14400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Alarm \u2014 apprehension or fear\nAt some danger or daunting idea,\nSuch as eating strange food \u2014\nLike an octopus (stewed) \u2014\nOr drinking cold chemical beer.", "id": 14402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "I am dying to go geographic:\nTo Zimbabwe or somewhere else Afric.\nI am aching to fly\nOn a plane in the sky\n('Stead of bumper-to-bumperous traffic).", "id": 14403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A bachelor \u2014 an unmarried man \u2014\nWill often try hard as he can\nTo find a nice girl,\nLike a bright, lustrous pearl,\nWho might be seduced in his van.", "id": 14404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Coliseums had lower-tier sections\nFor fans with important connections.\nFrom the aisle 'round the middle\n(The balteus), piddle\nShowed trickle-down class disaffections.", "id": 14405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am pondering biogeography.\nIt might best be expressed in photography\nMade by cameras in space\u2014\nIt's the map of the place\nOf biota, by using chorography.", "id": 14406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Delalande, a biologist, mocks\nThe huge ears of a bug-eating fox.\n\"Like a bat's,\" he declares,\nAnd bemusedly stares.\n\"And with those he wears formal black socks?\"", "id": 14407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "That lovely young lady, Alexis,\nAn ornament of the fair sex is.\nAlas, but her psyche\nIs thorny and spiky\u2014\nA lexicon full of complexes.", "id": 14408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abies \u2014 the genus true firs \u2014\nThey're trees whose leaves all end in spurs.\nThis kind of sharp spine\n(Like that of a pine)\nBoth showers and insects deters.", "id": 14409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With her mother, she often proceeds\nTo the smotherweed trees, where she weeds\nAll the Bassia palms\nAnd gets buttery balms\nFrom the hearts of their five-legged seeds.", "id": 14410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "At Bushwood, young Danny the caddy,\nA put-upon likeable laddie,\nIs used by Judge Smails;\nBut soon justice prevails,\nWhich is all that she wrote for the baddie.", "id": 14411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A phrase ain't worth much till you coin it\nAnd wheedle a friend to purloin it.\nBang Banagher meant\n\"A surpassing extent\"\u2014\nSee, it's better to beat it than join it.", "id": 14412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Pretty Ariel sang, \"tra la la\".\n\"Now go study your math!\" said her pa.\nFor a rating of G,\nNo breasts could you see,\nSo they brushed up on her algebra.", "id": 14413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Abattage may be practiced to quell\nAn infection in stock that's unwell.\nThe details of just how\nThey dispatch each mad cow\nAre not something I care to retell.", "id": 14414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I am sitting here, aptly arraying\nMy anapests, happily playing,\nJumping metrical hoops,\nTo define\u2014well, um... Oops!\nHad a brain fart. Now, what was I saying?", "id": 14415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "When I shop for new footwear, I may\nHave to hit all the stores\u2014takes all day,\nFor most shoes fit me wrong.\nWith feet narrow and long,\nI need a 15AAA.", "id": 14416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I called in an expert\u2014a kind man\u2014\nAnd told him, \"I think you will find, man,\nThat my random accretions\nOf ratty Venetians\nIs tacky.\" \"I see,\" said the blind man.", "id": 14417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The normal piano today\nHas seven-plus octaves to play.\nHow low can it go?\nWell, just so you know,\nAt the bottom is AAAA.", "id": 14418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Trephination was long overdue.\nSaid the surgeon, \"Well, let me tell you:\nWith my new abaptiston,\nA flick of the wrist, 'n'\nYour brain will be better than new.\"", "id": 14419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "My pet rodent is nobody's fool.\nHe's a wizard with thread and a spool.\n On the spool, he'll sit low\n As he finds things to sew.\nYes, it's Ratman and Bobbin, how cool!", "id": 14420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Recumbentman", "limerick": "Should an actress who's totally stacked\nUse her assets to try to distract,\nOr more primly, perhaps,\nKeep them well under wraps,\nAnd rely on her talent to act?", "id": 14421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sing \"My bonnie lies over the ocean\" \u2014\nThat's a girl that inspired devotion.\nNow my girl, Marie,\nShe lies over the sea;\nShe'll fib anyplace she gets the notion.", "id": 14422, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See the stallions contentedly chew\nOn their oats.  (Guess they're glad they're not glue.)\nNot a one of them cares\nTo share food with the mares.\nAffiliate? Not with this crew.", "id": 14423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A magnificent failure of late\nWas the batter who fanned at the plate.\nHe said \"Catcalls ain't news,\nAnd I never mind boos.\n(Why not make mine a whiskey, and straight?)\"", "id": 14424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Captain Kirk says, when Star Trek comes on,\n\"We go boldly where no man has gone.\"\nSeems those brave and brash men\nHad a lecherous yen\nFor young virgins, with whom they would spawn.", "id": 14425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Acid radicals? That's what there'll be\nWhen some hydrogen ions get free\nFrom an acid.  That's it!\nThough it sounds, I admit,\nLike extremists who use LSD.", "id": 14426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Some cross-dressing guys told me this:\n\"Our pageant deserves a boo, hiss!\nOh, sure, we'll parade,\nBut an error's been made;\nWe can tell that one entrant's amiss.\"", "id": 14427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Munchausen was prone to tell lies.\nWhen doubted, he'd just roll his eyes\nAnd say, \"It's all true,\nThis tale I tell you,\nThough aggrandized a touch, I'd surmise.\"", "id": 14428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Alopecia, huh?\" the man drawled.\n\"Or atrichia? That what it's called?\nYou say hypotrichosis\nIs my diagnosis?\nDon't matter; all I know's I'm bald.\"", "id": 14430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Algonquin's a large northern park,\nAnd the change from the city is stark.\nThere are plenty of moose,\nBear, and deer on the loose,\nMaking risky a drive in the dark.", "id": 14431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do you want to grow crops where planes fly?\nTo sow turnips and leeks way up high?\nThey'll be close to the sun\nBy the clouds \u2014 oh what fun ...\nAhh, my airfield's just pie in the sky.", "id": 14432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A man who is running behind me\nSays, \"I'm running behind\u2014never mind me.\"\nSo I wish him the best.\nSince I'm winded, I rest\nAnd unwind; my behind so inclined me.", "id": 14433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Mrs. Cooper (her Christian name's Carol),\nHas a shape best described as a barrel.\nShe's convex as a cask\n(Having sex is a task),\nBut she laughs and wears hoops on apparel!", "id": 14434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When my lover and I at last parted,\nI was woebegone, sad, broken-hearted;\nYet filled with relief.\nOur affair caused me grief,\nJust because he so frequently farted.", "id": 14435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "For temp'rature, we have thermometers;\nFor blood pressure, sphygmomanometers.\nBut to see aberration,\nExperimentation\nWith light calls for sharp aberrometers.", "id": 14436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "When I needed a cure for my houndlessness,\nI gave an old Sheltie her poundlessness.\nI can let her roam free;\nShe won't jump up, you see,\nSo her boundlessness comes of her boundlessness.", "id": 14437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The site of the greatest acropolis\nIs Athens, the Greeks' main metropolis.\nIts Parthenon, loaded\nWith stuff that exploded,\nWas marred, but the blast didn't topple this.", "id": 14438, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The old German city of Bingen\nWas home to some fancy-ass singin',\nAs Hildegard's chants\nLeft the folks in a trance.\n(It's a shame that her tunes ain't more swingin'.)", "id": 14439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "For breakfast I never eat food,\nJust two cups of coffee, fresh-brewed.\nIn the morning I'm beat\nAnd too sleepy to eat,\nBut the coffee's so strong it gets chewed.", "id": 14440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If the lads down in Cork had their way,\nErin's bosom would happily sway\nUncontrolled, unrestrained...\nSo they've loudly campaigned\nTo have Erin go braless all day.", "id": 14441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "While in class, I become catatonic\nIf the talk turns to things baryonic\n(That is, everyday matter).\nBut dodging such chatter\nIs easy: I claim I'm dysphonic.", "id": 14442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The OEDILF takes the planet by storm\u2014\nSome day soon, we will find it the norm!\nWords explained in great brevity\n(Brief) and with levity\u2014\nDefined in the limerick form!", "id": 14443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "A brave and adventuresome lass\nHad to brave bitter cold at Grant's Pass.\nOh, her prospects were grave\nTill a Katuku Brave\nBuilt a campfire to thaw out her ass.", "id": 14444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "\"It's all carbon,\" he said, \"Just pretend!\nAllotropism may start a trend!\"\nBut the rock on her ring\nWasn't diamond, poor thing:\nGraphite lumps aren't a woman's best friend.", "id": 14445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "He was not a Zodiacal master\u2014\nHe couldn't tell Pollux from Castor.\nIf there's no truth at all\nIn the stars, this astrol-\nogaster speaks truth like a pastor.", "id": 14446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Are alien abductions a lie?\nBug-eyed monsters steal people and fly?\nI don't think that they're real;\nIt's too crazy a deal.\nOh no, wait!  They just grabbed me.  Goodbye!", "id": 14447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm fanatic for pugilist sports.\n\"Love those boxers!\" my girlfriend exhorts.\nRingside tickets? Oh, yes!\nAnd I dressed to impress,\nBut she wanted to see me in shorts.", "id": 14448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There were two guys from Thailand that dined\nOn some food that was fresh, unrefined.\nSaid the first, \"I'd be tickled\nIf veggies were pickled.\"\nSo they opened a store: Thais That Brined.", "id": 14450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An argument lacking a goal\nIs discussion that's out of control.\nBut if courtroom's the venue\nFor argument, then you\nSee lawyers fulfilling their role.", "id": 14451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When your wallet's gone flat from the bleeding,\nChapter 7 provides useful reading.\nBut it might have been apter\nTo first read a chapter\nOn how to avoid the proceeding.", "id": 14452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Football's BCS ranking controls\nWhich colleges play in which bowls.\nThis method's obscure,\nBut it guarantees your\nTeam won't capture its preseason goals.", "id": 14453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "That aether can make you feel funny.\nIt can change you from gloomy to sunny.\nA whiff of gas, here,\nAnd strange visions appear.\nHey look!, it's the white Aether Bunny.", "id": 14454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Read the comics, and here's what you'll see:\nSuperheroes are screaming, \"Aiieee!\"\nI would like to explain:\nThey're enraged or in pain.\nBut pronounce it? Aiieee, I'm at sea!", "id": 14455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Apiarists might sometimes get stings\nFrom their favorite creatures on wings,\nBut the sweet stuff they get\nFrom each small flying pet\nCould be served at the banquets of kings.", "id": 14456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "The woes of life leave me so stressed\nThat I never can get any rest.\nBut I know why I'm blue\u2014\nI have bipolar II,\nWhich mostly just means I'm depressed.", "id": 14457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Peninah", "limerick": "From \"Bullen\", they changed to \"Boleyn\",\nAnd they soon became royalty's kin,\nSo in eighty-one years,\nWent from peasants to peers.\n\"Anne the Queen\" made her family grin.", "id": 14458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When plagioclase feldspar is brewing,\nThe recipe's there for the viewing.\nAll soda, no lime,\nGives albite this time;\nVice versa, anorthite is stewing.", "id": 14459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If I anacoluthically speak,\nMy syntax is needing a tweak.\nDid I sharply change tense?\nWill that make me seem dense?\nOr is it effect that I seek?", "id": 14460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "An angiographic exam\nOf my blood vessels' possible jam\nIs a treatment that tends\n(If infarction impends)\nTo decide: Am I ailing? I am!", "id": 14461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A tightrope performer named Jenny\nSaid, \"Nets? I refuse to use any.\"\nBut, making a wave,\nShe tumbled and gave\nOne breathless performance too many.", "id": 14462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Let's study this plant's physiology.\nOuch! Briars abound! An apology:\nThis yard's in a shambles.\nBut how I love brambles!\nMy cutting-edge field is batology.", "id": 14463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "In the kitchen, you'll find me uncoachable,\nThough I'm perfectly nice and approachable.\nI welcome the tips\nFrom your competent lips.\nBut for me an egg just isn't poachable.", "id": 14464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Chapter 16 of Romans? I sigh\nAt the lazy epistler's nice try:\nIn a string of PSs\nThe apostle impresses\nHis readers to tell others \"hi\".", "id": 14465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In roots is where berberine's found.\nIts medicinal use can be sound\nTo help fever reduce,\nAid cramped gas to fly loose,\nOr for sores, into powder be ground.", "id": 14466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Brid is a word that I've heard\nWas ye olden-days English for bird.\nWhy's the middle transposed?\nWell, I guess they supposed\nThat the other way round was absrud.", "id": 14467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To the left, Wallace, please, just a fraction;\nGromit, make like you dread his reaction.\nThat's great! Hold that pose...\nWait, squash up your nose...\nAh, perfect! Now, lights, camera\u2014action!", "id": 14468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The work of the genius Brahms\nIs brimful of musical charms.\nHis Symphony 2\nIs a pastoral brew\u2014\nGood for calming down cattle on farms.", "id": 14469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "My brother-in-law's the poor man\nWho married my sister Suzanne.\nAnd now he's regretting\nFrench kissing and petting\nSuzanne in the back of his van.", "id": 14470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At a contest with truffles to dig,\nI showed up with my miniature pig.\nWith his zest he impressed;\nHe would best all the rest.\nThey said, \"Oh, what a show! This one's BIG!\"", "id": 14471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "When Xena tried on her brassiere,\nSeems the color was wrong.  It was clear\nThat she wanted it sassier\u2014\nBronze, only brassier\u2014\nSo her breasts would be weapons to fear.", "id": 14472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Skeins of Canada geese write aversively.\nThey form block-letter vees by dispersively\nTaking turns:  the geese aer-\nodynamically share.\nSkeins of snow geese form their flight vees cursively.", "id": 14473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Tiny sparrow-like birds peck the snow\nSeeking insects that lurk just below.\nPipits saunter with sass\nAs the speeding cars pass:\nAnthus taunts his old horsepower foe.", "id": 14474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Aramaean tongue's called Aramaic,\nThough in everyday speech it's archaic;\nUsing words Christ would say,\nBaghdad Christians still pray\nDuring bomb-blasts unparadisaic.", "id": 14478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "She bacteriologically views\nSlides of prokaryotic-filled goos.\nUnicellular growth,\nNames of microbes, are both\nLearned as microscopes fill in the clues.", "id": 14479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I rubbed my eyes firmly and yawned.\nThen I looked out again, and it dawned\nOn me, I don't need glasses!\nLong spikes top those grasses:\nThe mid-summer barley is awned.", "id": 14480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Although haricots verts I've not seen,\nFava, Chinese long, Blue Lake are green.\nYellow wax, purple snaps\nAre additional wraps\nOf the edible-podded fresh bean.", "id": 14481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"See that none of your actions embarrasses.\nThose slopes, like that tower in Paris's,\nAre thousand-foot drops.\nDo not run!  No fast stops.\"\nOur whole class walked on air at the arrises.", "id": 14482, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In my kitchen gleams galvanized zinc\nAnd cast iron, enameled in pink.\nSingle basin\u2014not cheap\u2014\nFully twelve gallons deep,\nIt's my newly installed kitchen sink.", "id": 14483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Baby Jane now weighs three-point-three pounds.\nShe can breathe off the vent (within bounds).\nSo a bath basin's set\nIn her warm isolette\nFor the baby's first bath\u2014and first sounds.", "id": 14484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "An abscess (collection of pus),\nWhen sequestered in bone, makes a fuss;\nThis bacterial detritus\nFrom osteomyelitis\nCan weaken bone's durable truss.", "id": 14485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Despite rest, the contractions won't cease.\nSoon Mom's symptoms require release.\nJane, just five-eighths to prime\nHuman gestating time,\nComes beforetime, our tiniest niece.", "id": 14486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A cinnamon bear scared some nurses\nWhen she sniffed at their backpacks and purses.\nBut the sow backed off quickly\nAnd stared, looking sickly:\nThe bear heard her bearherd yell \"Ursus!\"", "id": 14487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Seeking smoky-sweet meat and a brew,\nTasty pork chops and short ribs to chew?\nTake this road for a spell,\nAnd prepare to eat well\nAt an ALL U CAN EAT BBQ.", "id": 14488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the blatherskite ruddy ducks call,\nThey're nonsensical, noisy to all\nBut each other.  The drake\nRuns on water to make\nPopping sounds to his near slip-and-fall.", "id": 14489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "There are three ways to use anti-icing:\nThere's no glaze on the cake Jan is slicing;\nDean Bob often prays,\n\"Please, no ice on school days\";\nIce finds sprayed airplane wings unenticing.", "id": 14490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Assamese is an Indian tongue\nUnrelated to Mon-Khmer or Hmong.\nTo Bengali, one letter\nIs added to better\nWrite double-U sounds for the young.", "id": 14491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Looking down from the plane, far beneath,\nLines of mountains appeared to be teeth\nUpon patchwork; this stash\nSwapped for Tooth Fairy's cash\nWould leave mountainous sums to bequeath.", "id": 14492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Mother Hubbard, penurious crone,\nWith her ravenous dog lived alone.\nThough her cupboard was bare,\nHer dog chewed without care\nOn blue squashes instead of a bone.", "id": 14493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Shorttailed shrews (or in Latin, Blarina\nbrevicauda) sport pewter's patina,\nHidden ears, tiny eyes,\nPoison spit\u2014are they spies\nIn their east-of-the-Rockies arena?", "id": 14494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The Actitis flick sandpiper tails\nAs they forage for insects and snails.\nThe Common hen's fate\nIs monogamous mate,\nBut the Spotted hen mates many males.", "id": 14495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When the ultimate answer was due,\nDeep Thought pondered and said, \"Forty-two.\"\n\"That just will not suffice.\nWe need more,\" said the mice.\n\"What's the question? We haven't a clue.\"", "id": 14496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Seeing jocks in the hallway, I scram\u2014\nOr it's off to the boys' room I am,\nWhere my legs will be spread\nWhile they're stuffing my head\nIn the john like a battering ram.", "id": 14498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The robbers on Main Street are busy,\nAnd hold-ups are making us dizzy.\nThe backstreets, once peaceful,\nAre turning policeful\u2014\nThe crime has our town in a tizzy.", "id": 14499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A boy in Iran tells his ma he\nHas planned to become a Baha'i.\nHe'll recruit in Sudan,\nSpread the word in Japan,\nAnd then work on his tan in Hawai'i.", "id": 14500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Under eyebrows, each shaped like a caret,\nPeers Frank Ferret, his eyes red as claret.\nThen he curls up to nap\nIn his bed in her cap,\nTara's greyish, brushed-felt, wide-brimmed barret.", "id": 14501, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A barathrum: he cannot be sated.\nAn abyss in his soul was created,\nLike the chasm, well-known,\nWhere the traitors were thrown\nIn old Athens.  The words are related.", "id": 14502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Osaka I tripped on a vase.\nAs it broke, I fell flat on my face.\nSo I'm there on the floor\nIn a bizen ware store\nWith ceramic all over the place.", "id": 14503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The chemists emphatically state,\n\"Here's some boron \u2014 we think it is great!\nSymbol B, number five:\nOh, we feel so alive!\"\nBoy, they sure are a bore on a date.", "id": 14504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Playing Russian roulette really stank\n'Gainst a scatterbrained gambler named Hank.\nHe wasn't uptight \u2014\nKnew he'd live through the night.\nWhen his turn came, his mind drew a blank.", "id": 14505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "What's your e-mail address? It's a fast\nWay to message a friend. In the past,\nI used snail mail with stamps;\nThat's now only for gramps\u2014\nBut the backlog (whew!) leaves me aghast.", "id": 14506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's apparent, so obvious and true\u2014\nLike these apples are green, my eyes blue.\nStop saying it\u2014cease,\nI'm not really obese!\nNow just dish me some more of that stew!", "id": 14507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The French national anthem was set\nBy this Gallic musician. Let's get\nOur brave tricolor out,\nWith a shout-out to tout\nMonsieur Berlioz, praised by us yet!", "id": 14508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "I've heard woofing your cookies for this\n(Also spewing) when something's amiss.\nWhen you barf, you expel\n'Cause you're feeling like hell,\nAnd for sure you're not getting a kiss.", "id": 14509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "He tapeworm: \"Let's get off the bleachers\u2014\nOur love life could use some new features.\"\nShe tapeworm: \"You lummox,\nWe haven't the stomachs\nFor thrills. We're anenterous creatures.\"", "id": 14510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The biotechnologist moaned:\n\"How I long for the days when we cloned!\nNow, all night and all day\nI just splice DNA\u2014\nI've forgotten which genes which thing owned!\"", "id": 14512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Brand of many a household appliance,\nAnd commune of great self-reliance\nThat was founded by Germans\nWith positive sermons:\nAmana\u2014both social and science.", "id": 14513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Ahem, a small noise in the throat,\nCan reveal what one's words won't connote,\nSuggest a quick question,\nOr clear out congestion;\nBut the actual sound? Hard to quote.", "id": 14514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The blacksmith's apprentice is kind,\nBut his talents are rightly maligned.\nWhen he hammers he bruises\nThe horses and loses\nMuch business; this bruising's a bind.", "id": 14515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are movies to rent and much more\nAt my Hollywood Video store.\nEven box office flops\nAre now licking their chops\nFor this market\u2014there's money galore!", "id": 14516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "That practical pastry, beignet,\nIs a hit at most any soir\u00e9e.\nIt's a doughnut, and sweet,\nAnd a Mardi Gras treat,\nAnd it's square so it won't roll away.", "id": 14517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Open wide, now, you really must stretch\nWhile your dentist applies acid etch.\nIt helps brackets adhere.\nDon't complain yet, my dear;\nWhen he tightens the braces, then kvetch.", "id": 14518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A wonderful gift is alation\n(\"Having wings\" if you'd like a translation).\nTo be able to fly\nAnd to soar in the sky\nHas always evoked fascination.", "id": 14519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To a Bachelor of Science, success\nIs a four-year degree, nothing less.\nAnd at most any school,\nNothing more is the rule.\nEither way, it's the same old BS.", "id": 14520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Baked cheese is just one of life's pleasures;\nWith honey it's something one treasures.\nIf you've baked the right cheese,\nThen you'll find, with great ease,\nThat the taste is not something one measures.", "id": 14521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Admonitors tell people off.\nThis could be, for instance, your prof.\nAnd if he's ironic\nOr even sardonic,\nBe careful you don't start to cough!", "id": 14522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "If I said that my girl's almond-eyed,\nThen it's oval-shaped eyes I've implied.\nBut there's more you should know\nOf her eyes: they can grow\u2014\nCandied almonds will open them wide.", "id": 14523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"This is terrible!\" groaned the headmaster,\n\"A second grand arson disaster.\"\nAs the school walls were buckling,\nI heard his sly chuckling:\n\"That accelerant made it spread faster.\"", "id": 14524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There once was a boy with amentia\nWho found every day an adventia.\nSaid his ma, \"He's not mad,\nJust a typical lad\u2014\nLights are on, but his brain's in absentia.\"", "id": 14525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "My doctor says \"Virge, you're apractic.\"\n(Oh, yawn, here he goes, all didactic.)\n\"Your bumbling, I'd venture,\nForeshadows dementia,\nFor which we've no real prophylactic.\"", "id": 14526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An assassinator's someone who kills\nAnd will seldom use poisonous pills;\nHe prefers the job done\nWith a high-powered gun\nFor political motives and thrills.", "id": 14527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A brilliant, bright garnet that's red\nIs the almandite.  Legend has said\nGarnets lit Noah's ark\nAnd guide wearers through dark.\nIt's called almandine, sometimes, instead.", "id": 14528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "There's a national shortage of hay,\nAnd the oats weren't delivered today.\nIf the horses get leaner,\nThey'll sack the avener\u2014\nSo he's feeding them apple puree.", "id": 14529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A brazier's where burgers are turned;\nA brassiere's with a bosom concerned.\nFellows, heed my advice\n(And don't even think twice):\nKeep your hands off of both\u2014you'll get burned.", "id": 14530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Eat a candy bar; alimentation\nRuns from eating unto defecation.\nBut when hydrogen bars\nRun through innards of stars\nAnd make metals, we call it astration.", "id": 14531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Back in 2500 B.C.\nA seed started making a tree.\nIt's a bristlecone pine\nAnd it's still doing fine\nHigh and dry on a mountainside's lee.", "id": 14532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We can grasp something's nature and worth.\nFor example, we value the earth\nFor the things it supplies\nAnd appreciate\u2014prize\u2014\nEven more so our children at birth.", "id": 14533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bruins of Boston were great\nIn the '70s\u2014early, not late.\nA defenseman named Orr\n(Bobby wore #4)\nUsed to score at a staggering rate.", "id": 14534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ambivalence helps to protect me\nFrom those who would seek to dissect me.\nThough you might look askance\nAt my lack of a stance,\nYou can neither accept nor reject me.", "id": 14535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My broker said, \"Buy some Big Blue,\"\n'Cause he heard IBM's overdue\nFor its stock to start climbing.\nWhat terrible timing!\nIt dropped, now I'm blue.  Should I sue?", "id": 14536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Young Esther, in second trimester,\nBlamed Chester, molester from Leicester.\n\"She's a jester,\" said Chester,\n\"I request that you test her.\nSchizophrenia?  Yes, poly-Esther.\"", "id": 14537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You were careful to MYOB,\nUp-to-date with your vendor's AV.\nSo you screamed every blue\nTLA that you knew \u2014\nYour computer crashed: BSOD.", "id": 14538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There's no \"faster-than-light\" \u2014 it's the law!\nStill, the physicists look for a flaw.\nWhen the first to arrive\nWith Alcubierre's drive\nFaces Einstein, we'll call it a draw.", "id": 14539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Hoffman's cynical jest made me crabby:\nSteal This Book, as a title, was shabby.\nBut the bookplate within\nI enjoyed with a grin\u2014\n\"1970: Stolen from Abbie.\"", "id": 14540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Ever playing the strange arriviste,\nThe Avar wandered far from the East\n'Til he found a good place in\nThe Danubian basin,\nWhere haply his numbers increased.", "id": 14542, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Ashanti tribe lives in the west\nPart of Africa; they are known best\nFor their beautiful gold weights,\nBoth new ones and old weights,\nAs many museums attest.", "id": 14543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blindfish, as one might surmise,\nIs a fish with nonfunctional eyes.\nIt will often be found\nIn a cave underground,\nWhich I doubt  will be any surprise.", "id": 14544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Barrel coopers, state troopers, poop scoopers,\nDiamond loupers who whoop hula hoopers,\nStand in awe on their stoops\nAs their flag loops the loops.\nFlags are crafted from fabric called bewpers.", "id": 14546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "At the madam's new upscale bordello,\nShe served aspics and quivering jello.\nBut the bedsprings kept creaking\nAnd patrons leapt, shrieking,\nWhile she tuned up her violoncello.", "id": 14547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and mike scholtes", "limerick": "By the roadsides, the deer like to hang\nSince the grass there is sweet as meringue.\nThe best bang for the buck\nHas them pushing their luck,\nWhen a car gets a buck for its bang.", "id": 14548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"I want breasts on my woman!\" he said.\nSo with implants her bust-line she spread.\nBut her new guy reproved\nSo she had them removed.\nAt her implant-free breasts, baby's fed.", "id": 14549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Your heart is no valentine pump,\nBut a strong asymmetrical clump\nOf two atria pounding\nWith ventricles, sounding\nLoud chamber arrangements\u2014ka-THUMP!", "id": 14550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "An old arsonist liked to eat beans\u2014\nAte a case every day since his teens.\nOnce, while torching a place,\nHe got launched into space\nWhen he blew a big hole in his jeans.", "id": 14551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Winter's coming!  Not needing a wizard\nTo fly south in advance of a blizzard,\nThe blackbirds, amassed,\nFled its cold snowy blast,\nAnd protected each gravel-filled gizzard.", "id": 14552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the leaf mold on forested hills,\nAmanitas grow, fungi with gills\nWhich have spores coloured white;\nSome may cause mortal fright:\nThey contain an ingredient that kills.", "id": 14553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Spoiled rotten from birth he has been;\nHis behavior's a cause of chagrin.\nAnd the problem is that\nWhen he acts like a brat\nHe soon finds that his welcome wears thin.", "id": 14554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "An aphasic Italian, distressed\nThat his language impairment progressed,\nThought asemia's curse\nWould be twenty times worse,\nAs his eloquent gestures expressed.", "id": 14555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As opinions on matters of gender\nHave become so exceedingly tender,\nIt appears antifem-\ninism may stem\nFrom a wish to refute the offender.", "id": 14556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I'll define alpargata with skill:\nIt's what some people call espadrille.\nIt's a light canvas shoe\nWith a rope sole that you\nMay find worn in the Pyrenees still.", "id": 14557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Here's to verses with anapest rhythm.\nYour feet cannot help tapping with 'em.\nUsing tricks like a lithp\nHelps to keep the rhymes crithp.\nAnd those beats? Do make sure you don't mith 'em.", "id": 14558, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ancient Egypt was smitten when frogs,\nOnce Nilotic, came swarming from bogs.\nWhen ruled by Zenobia,\nDid batrachophobia\nClog Egypt with dying frog gogs?", "id": 14559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Law", "limerick": "East Texas: you're drilling a well,\nAnd the trip tank is starting to swell...\nWhen a roughneck named Bud\nHollers, \"Weight up yer mud!\"\nAdd some barite or all goes to hell.", "id": 14560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If it's fruit tart you're wanting to buy,\nThen no matter the brand that you try,\nFor hot fruit in a crust\nIt is simple; you just\nCan't beat Mama's sweet blueberry pie.", "id": 14562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you're feeling all weak and aweary,\nIn other words generally dreary,\nHave a nice cup of tea,\nAnd I'm sure you'll agree,\nIt will make you feel so much more cheery.", "id": 14563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Resplendent, luxurious ball gowns\nAre indeed the most formal of all gowns.\nThose of affluent ilk\nOwn these satin and silk\nOften-worn-with-an-elegant-shawl gowns.", "id": 14564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "At the Church of the Donkey they say\nEvery mule worships God in his way.\nThey're all moved by the spirit\nTo sing.  You can hear it\nWhen the minister says, \"Let us bray.\"", "id": 14565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Stndng nxt t hr dsk, trmblng jwls,\nMrs. Smth's pssd-ff mngr grwls:\n\"W'r ll pssmstc.\nYr shrthnd's smplstc\u2014\nt's clr y'r jst drppng th vwls!\"", "id": 14566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I believe every dream can come true,\nAnd world peace I believe's overdue\nSince it's ours to achieve\u2014\nYet I also believe\nThat my father is Winnie the Pooh.", "id": 14567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm blessed with a special physique\nAnd a talent both odd and unique.\nI've discovered the art\nOf conversing by fart!\nIt's a strange body language I speak.", "id": 14568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "At Lords, the ball raced down the slope\nTo the boundary; a four was the hope.\nThat was all we would need\nFor the team to succeed,\nSo we cheered as the ball crossed the rope.", "id": 14569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "HeuristicsInc", "limerick": "John had wanted to find a new rhythm\nFor getting the girls to dance with him.\nWith a flowchart for steps,\nEven still the poor shlep's\nGot no girl... but he's got algorithm.", "id": 14570, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Those Amazon women of fame\nWere so strong and so bold, all acclaim.\nOne can only assume\nThat they'd fuss and they'd fume\n'Bout a bookstore co-opting their name.", "id": 14571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "At the kennel (a canine hotel), a\nRequirement is stop! show-and-tell a\nNew verification\nOf immunization,\nSo dogs cannot cough Bordetella.", "id": 14572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"There's a bulge in the midst of that fat snake!\"\n\"Well, of course!  She's our neighbor, Black Rat Snake.\nWhen it's hot, she climbs trees\nTo catch zz's in the breeze\nAnd gets grumpy, so please do not pat Snake.\"", "id": 14573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "If your baby is driving you wild\nAnd you fear you'll be shaking your child,\nPut her cradle and her\nOut of reach, we'd prefer,\nTill you chill from ill-tempered to mild.", "id": 14574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In voting, a long time ago,\nA black ball implied \"anti\", not \"pro\";\nSo you blackball (reject\nFrom a group or a sect)\nWhen you ostracize someone you know.", "id": 14575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The bomber, so swiftly it flew,\nAfter dropping that lone buckaroo.\nWith a wave of aplomb,\nHe's astraddle the bomb.\nSlim-to-none are his chances. Yahoo.", "id": 14576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The alternative medicine fan\nGives conventional practice the pan.\nHe maliciously mocks\nThe allopathists\u2014docs\nWho can't treat the diseases of man.", "id": 14577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All the cocktails remind me of swill,\nSince the bartender's lacking in skill,\nAnd the flavorful ale\nThat I favor is stale\nAt the neighborhood sports bar and grill.", "id": 14578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "When a tiger eats man it's a fright,\nThough a tiger is destined to bite.\nBut when man, wanting meat,\nChews on man for a treat,\nIt's an anthropophagical blight.", "id": 14579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "On the front page, a terrible headline:\n\"Union bargains, but fails to meet deadline\".\nNow the plant is shut down\nIn our factory town,\nAnd we'll queue up for food at the breadline.", "id": 14580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX and Doug Smeath", "limerick": "The word Birchite is one that one might\nUse describing some folks on the right.\nMention Birchism: speak\nOf the Birchists to pique\nSuch a torrent of left-leaning fright.", "id": 14581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Allodial land is held free,\nNot from Crown nor from State, but for me.\nWithout lord's where its name\n(An allodium) came\nFrom, not freehold\u2014it's not held in fee.", "id": 14582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Yo, angel face, lissen t'me.\nDem features, dey're soft as can be.\nYuh lovely, an' gentle\u2014\nHey, no, I'm not mental!\nT'Hell widja, Devil!\" said he.", "id": 14583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "My outburst was rather spontaneous:\n\"Your eyes, they are so avellaneous!\"\nOn instant appraisal,\nI knew I'd love Hazel;\nAlas, she thought I was extraneous.", "id": 14584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There once was a tennis man, Schwartz,\nWho cared naught what was thought of his shorts.\nSo he looked 'bout as cute as\nA guy in Bermudas\nCould possibly look on the courts.", "id": 14585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A captain of business named Aaron\nSqueezed the workforce for profits, uncarin'.\nThe workers arose,\nStripped him clean to his clothes;\nNow he goes by the name Robber Barren.", "id": 14586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "He sent her a note from afar:\n\"You're the zing to unstring my guitar;\nYou make my voice quaver\u2014\nPlease do me a favor:\nLet's rest at the twenty-fourth bar.\"", "id": 14587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "The Brontosaur never existed,\nNever ate, never slept, never trysted.\nColossal, yet docile,\nBut not a real fossil\nDespite what Fred Flintstone insisted.", "id": 14588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In the time of the Prophet, his call\nHeld the Ashab (Companions) in thrall.\nWhen his lifetime was done,\nThey amounted to one\nHundred forty-four thousand in all.", "id": 14589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Your attention span's short, and what's worse,\nYou're attracted to writing in verse.\nI suppose, if you like, you\nCould focus on haiku\nAnd limericks; both are quite terse.", "id": 14590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My volume of verse isn't slim,\nSo the publisher told me to trim.\nI could cut out a sonnet,\nAn ode, or doggone it,\nJust amputate, maybe, this lim . . .", "id": 14591, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Captain Ahab's impossible mission:\nEffect Moby Dick's circumcision.\nYet, it's my tale to tell\u2014\nCall me Ishmoyel\u2014well,\nIt's a Jewish cetacean revision.", "id": 14592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Acerous, acerate, acerose:\nAll adjectives, so I propose,\nThat mean \"needle-like\",\nLike the teeth of a pike,\nOr the thorn on the side of a rose.", "id": 14593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Weigel", "limerick": "Aloaceae subdivide our\nLiliaceae family of flower\n(They include aloe-ver'\nBut not peppermint spear),\nOr they don't: it's the fight of the hour.", "id": 14594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Lucy the Goose took a gander\nAt the snake who'd been raising her dander,\nShe would let out a hissssssssssss,\nTo berate him like thisssssssssss,\nSo the snake simply sued her for sssssssslander.", "id": 14595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "If English is native to you,\nIf you're white, and your parents are, too;\nIf mom isn't madre,\nIf dad isn't padre,\nWhen they call you an Anglo, it's true.", "id": 14596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At breakfast, Calista will dally\nTo check on her calorie tally.\nEating onion flakes whole,\nShe's reviewing her roll\nAnd pursuing her goal now\u2014bialy!", "id": 14597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Oh, acned you teenagers are.\nPop those zits and they might leave a scar.\nThough those whiteheads are gross,\nYou need not be morose!\nWear the face that you keep in a jar.", "id": 14598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The casting of Lady Macbeth\nNeeds a star who portrays life and death.\nBut the gal with the role\nCan't emote \u2014 has no soul,\nSo she's dying on stage of bad breadth.", "id": 14599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We would realize a lifelong ambition\n(Erudition in every submission?)\nIf our peers' admiration\nAnd OEDILF's aspiration\nMeet up in a dead tree edition.", "id": 14600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Please stare at this verse versatile,\nAnd focus on form but not style.\nThen close your eyes next \u2014\nDid you still see this text?\nAn after-image lasts for a while.", "id": 14601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "duh duh DUH duh duh DUH \u2014 whatta pain!\nThat anapest beats on my brain.\nThis rhythm confines\nAll my lyrical lines\nInto limericks. It drives me insane.", "id": 14602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "So, mine Sadie, you're making aliyah?\nMazel Tov, a terrific idea!\nThis country's f'cocktuh,\nBut there a nice doctuh...\nI'll have grandchildren soon in Judea!", "id": 14603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "America, Land of the Free,\nGuaranteed Constitutionally.\nBut with rate hikes, high prices,\nNew taxes on vices,\nI'd call it the Land of the Fee.", "id": 14604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Acetaminophen \u2014 pain-killing pill.\nBut pronounce it? Most folks lack the skill.\nMuch simpler to say it\nThe J&J way. It\nIs Tylenol. (Take when you're ill.)", "id": 14605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We've been told we have Abel's bacillus.\nWe're worried \u2014 perhaps it can kill us.\nIntranasally crusting,\nOzena's disgusting.\nIf we die will the doctors still bill us?", "id": 14606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Gotta get me an adulterator.\nMake those kids grow up sooner, not later.\nWhat's that comment you said?\nI'll corrupt them instead?\nGuess I'm stuck as my family's pater.", "id": 14607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Blankly I stare at my screen;\nI'm searching for rhymes that are keen.\nMy severe writer's block\nMeans I only write schlock.\n(And this final line's yet to be seen.)", "id": 14608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "With care cross the street, there's a car!\nYou must watch for them, near and afar.\nThere's occasional loss,\nBut most folks get across.\nAnd the Jewish folks, they'll get a star.", "id": 14609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the physically fit revolutions,\nFlat abs make such strong contributions.\nFor chances increased\nTry consulting a priest.\nThey are specialists \u2014 seek ab-solutions.", "id": 14610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Your computer is acting possessed.\nFrequent crashes are making you stressed.\nIt's an error in coding\nYou got from downloading,\nAnd ignoring the hint: beta test.", "id": 14611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Near the mountain range named Appalachia,\nMcCoys know that Hatfields will hachia.\nAnd the Hatfields, as well,\nKnow they're damned straight to Hell\nBy McCoys, 'cause it's just in their nachia.", "id": 14612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Aleph-null is an infinite set.\nCantor showed it's the smallest you get.\nInfinity rises.\nSets come in all sizes.\nTo some theorists, Georg was all wet.", "id": 14613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Can she speak Anglo-Saxon, let's test her:\nShe knows to say Worcester or Leicester!\nThough she even knows Gloucester,\nShe's still an impostor\nFrom Oregon.  She's a Nor'Weicester.", "id": 14614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Tourists flock when the cherry turns pink.\nBradford pear flowers, rank-scented, stink.\nBut the apple's sweet blossoms,\nLike baby opossums,\nSay, \"Spring has arrived\"...with a wink.", "id": 14615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Northeast India's mountainous squeeze\nIs the home to Ahom Assamese\nWho, descended from Shan\nChinese, once overran\nIt and stayed to grow world-famous teas.", "id": 14616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Agelaius are blackbirds (gregarious).\nShoulder epaulets sort species (various).\n\"KonkaREE\" the males sing\nAs to cattails they cling:\nDefending each harem (vicarious).", "id": 14617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Snowy weather the horned larks endured.\nWhen their horse pasture, freshly manured,\nFilled with weed seeds for gleaning,\nThey leapt\u2014trampolining:\nAlaudidae, birds unobscured.", "id": 14618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "My nurse's bag hangs from a door.\nZippered pockets hold gloves, swabs, and more.\nBefore inward I peek,\nI employ bag technique,\nWash my hands, and each tool it will store.", "id": 14619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the airport, I'm badgered and bossed,\nAnd the strain could inflict quite a cost,\nBut today is the day\nAll the stress goes away.\nMy emotional baggage gets lost!", "id": 14620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I was waiting on tables for pennies;\nI was dead on my feet (wearing tennies).\nTo keep dishing these suppers\nI need to take uppers,\nBut my benefits don't include bennies.", "id": 14621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"Isaiah's too hard,\" Eunuch snorted.\n\"Climb in, Phil \u2014 explain,\" he exhorted.\nIn a transport of glee,\nCried the tutee, \"I see!\"\nTutor Phil to Azotus transported.", "id": 14622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Antifebriles can help quite a lot\nWhen a fever is what you have got.\nThey bring temperature down:\nThey're the toast of the town.\nThey're so cool when you feel not so hot.", "id": 14623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The blue cohosh, like cohosh called \"black\",\nHas medicinal use from way back.\nUsed in easing a birth,\nIt's an herb of great worth,\nAnd not only prescribed by a quack.", "id": 14624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If you're artful, you're cunning or sly.\nLike that Oliver Twist Dodger guy.\nWhen the label is borne\nBy an artist, it's worn\nTo mean primitive charms won't apply.", "id": 14625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "It's the fault of his shirt, which was red, Jim:\nA stone has impacted his head, Jim.\nHis brain was displaced\nBy silicon-based\nAmphibolite (hornblende): He's dead, Jim.", "id": 14626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Though the ewes were most lightsome and lissome,\nOld Sam wasn't minded to kiss 'em.\n\"That's for humans,\" said Sam.\n\"I'm a baattering ram\nWho must rut while my blossoms are blissom.\"", "id": 14627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "What, say, backwards going words got?\nGot words going backwards? Say what?\nTo quote Dr. Dystrophy,\n\"That is antistrophe \u2014\nDancing with words. And why not?\"", "id": 14628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Let all pilgrims give honor and glory\nTo Suger.  From the choice of a quarry\nTo the light on each pew,\nYou could tell that he knew\nHis apse from his ambulatory.", "id": 14629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "My neighbors above never tire\nOf tumult, dissension and ire.\nTheir life's just one broil.\nI'd seethe them in oil,\nOr cook them well-done on a fire.", "id": 14630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "Her kiss was as light as a feather.\nShe said they were \"amiable together.\"\nHer words flew apart,\nFlapped around in his heart,\nAnd he thought, \"Am I able to get her?\"", "id": 14631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "terrawyn", "limerick": "Of the flu my fair girl was a carrier,\nSo 'tween us I put up a barrier.\nBut I could not resist;\nWe daringly kissed!\nNow sneezing's become my new harrier.", "id": 14632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "Do philosophers think it's a quirk\nThat the universe happens to work?\nMany cry, \"It's all cause!\"\nOthers laugh at such laws.\nAnd some aetiologically smirk.", "id": 14633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My cousin, a trader named Stephen,\nPlays the stocks that investors believe in.\nBut it's like playing poker\u2014\nHe's richer, then broker.\nHe loses, he wins, he breaks even.", "id": 14634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LoudNotes", "limerick": "When the fat guy the young lasses faced,\nHe grew red and embarrassed: abaist.\nAnd the source of his shame?\n'Twas his heavyset frame\nAnd their giggles on seeing his waist.", "id": 14635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An aleconner \u2014 super employment!\nI'd do it for simple enjoyment.\nTesting beer in the pubs\nAnd the various clubs \u2014\nI think I'll request redeployment.", "id": 14636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "To my home-brew I've added some bentonite\nAs the party is starting at ten tonight.\nIf the brew doesn't clear,\nThen I very much fear\nThat we'll have to drink pub beer again tonight.", "id": 14637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The Abominable Snowman (or Yeti)\nIs a mystery not trivial or petty,\nBut I've figured it out\nAnd can say without doubt,\nIt's a backpacking Bigfoot named Betty.", "id": 14638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Though each actor they cast is a star,\nMany films you will find simply are\nJust a little too long,\nThough too short is as wrong\nAnd can be an abridgement too far.", "id": 14639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I resist all objectification:\nMy street and my city, my nation,\nMy world and, what's worse,\nMy whole damned universe\nI deny with acosmic negation.", "id": 14640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In today's world it's rather unwise\nTo assume you can tell truth from lies,\nSince there's frequent intent\nTo mislead and invent\nBy the men who, to sell, advertise.", "id": 14641, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The heist we were busily plotting.\nPersonnel into roles we were slotting\u2014\nThis for him, that for you\u2014\nWhen asked what did I do,\nI replied, \"I'm the one who's allotting.\"", "id": 14642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Take tobacco that's packed in a briar.\nPut a match to it; light it on fire.\nThat's called smoking a pipe\n(But despite all the hype,\nIts effect on your health could be dire).", "id": 14643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He will never achieve much seniority.\nHis stance is too antiauthority.\nWhen he said, \"I don't like\nThe firm's logo.  Let's strike!\"\nMoving up didn't seem a priority.", "id": 14644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For Hegel, it isn't heretical\nTo say that events antithetical\nCome after a thesis.\nBy my anamnesis\nIt's also, auf Deutsch, alphabetical.", "id": 14645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My mother, Melissa Caruthers,\nHas three rather elderly brothers.\nMy avunculate's stuff\nWill be mine, soon enough\n(Even sooner, if I had my druthers).", "id": 14646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My mom washed my mouth out with lye,\nThen she swore up a storm in reply.\nSo my ears were the next\nTo be scrubbed; I was vexed\nAs an aurilave burnished them dry.", "id": 14647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Philosophical, pithy and sage\nIs a maxim you quote off a page.\nAn aphorism's sublime,\nRinging true every time.\nIt won't ever grow dull with old age.", "id": 14648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the church tolls a clarion bell;\nWhereas at church, the congregants tell\nAll their deepest confessions\nTo priests, whose profession's\nTo listen, at which they excel.", "id": 14649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Why do we call autumn \"the fall\"\nWhen all other seasons we call\nBy one name? Could it be\nAutumn leaves on a tree\nWhich flutter to earth, one and all?", "id": 14650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The minister wheezes a sigh\nIn the hot summer month of July.\nWith the drought that's descended,\nConversion has ended,\nSince even the baptistery's dry.", "id": 14651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "A babe magnet pulls the chicks in,\nSo ready and willing to sin.\nIt doesn't seem fair\nThat they enter his lair\nWearing nothing except for a grin.", "id": 14652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "1516puzzle", "limerick": "As the Benthamites said long ago,\nWe should maximize happiness. Though\nI admit it sounds sappy,\nWhen more folks are happy\nThe world's better off, don't you know?", "id": 14653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Since 666 they've been parking\nTheir Saxon remains here in Barking,\nJust east of East Ham\u2014\nAnd I'll give you a dram\nFor resisting all canine-remarking.", "id": 14654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A hater of nature named Sonia\nBesprinkled her plants with ammonia.\nShe ravaged her flowers\nWith chemical showers\nAnd bellowed, \"Be gone, ya begonia!\"", "id": 14655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Begon was a Frenchman, a gringo\nWho governed in Santo Domingo.\nWith Plumier's name,\nThe begonia, his fame\nWas assured in botanical lingo.", "id": 14656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My angel-stars' blossoms are droopy;\nThey hang, like the ears hang from Snoopy.\nI pluck off these trumpets\nAnd give them to strumpets\nBefore making moves to make whoopee.", "id": 14657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I birthed you, then hitchhiked to Nome;\nMy penchant was always to roam.\nThen you and your dad\nRan a classified ad\nThat unearthed me, enticing me home.", "id": 14658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "In statistics I would've done well\nWere it not for that beauty, Michelle.\nThough I boned up for weeks\nOn her bimodal peaks,\nI fell victim to curves that were bell.", "id": 14659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "The asexual beast didn't heed\nThe instinctual impulse to breed.\nYou'd think bigfoot would care\nAbout lacking an heir;\nYeti just didn't see any need.", "id": 14660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "In your babehood your life was so mild.\nYou were innocent, still just a child.\nBut you're now a young man,\nSo a girl's babehood can\n(And assuredly will) drive you wild.", "id": 14661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "While giving the bottle a spin,\nHe wondered whose kiss he might win.\nIt was truly a shame\nThat his basial game\nHad to stop when his parents walked in.", "id": 14662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "An astrophile's likely to spend\nMany hours staring up without end\nAt the twinkling night sky.\nSeeing stars, for this guy,\nMakes his telescope start to extend.", "id": 14663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "His OCD's really quite vicious:\nTo satisfy germ-killing wishes,\nWhen he's prepping to eat,\nUsing pressure and heat,\nHe first autoclaves all of his dishes.", "id": 14664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "The host gave the priest this directive:\n\"Don't come, or you'd render defective\nMy one-to-one map:\nFor each lady a chap,\nAnd vice versa; my party's bijective.\"", "id": 14665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "Mix wine, shallots, tarragon; soak.\nAdd emulsion of butter and yolk.\nNap this sauce, called Bearnaise,\nOn a steak as a glaze.\nIt's quite rich, so don't drink it like Coke!", "id": 14667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A botanist, Brown, had a notion\nWhile observing a jittery motion.\nHe had no way to prove\nWhy the pollen would move;\nIt's the same for the air or the ocean.", "id": 14668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Professor Fritz Heider was cheery,\nThough this sentiment math made him weary.\nIf he takes P-O-X,\nThe response he expects\nIs consistent within Balance Theory.", "id": 14669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "democritus_3", "limerick": "\"But I thought,\" said the young aide-de-camp,\n\"That you said the young prince was a scamp.\"\n\"Don't mix anecdotical\nKnowledge with protocol,\"\nSaid Sir John with a petulant stamp.", "id": 14670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Good bookbinding's truly an art.\nBut a human-skin binding's apart\nFrom the rest. Makes me squirm. Ick \u2014\nSuch anthropodermic\nBibliopegy's well off the chart.", "id": 14672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the ocean (but not in The Pond)\nLives the clown fish, who's fervently fond\nOf Actinia. Still,\nHe pretends there's a chill:\n\"Sea Anemone? She's just a frond.\"", "id": 14673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the garden, I painted a squash,\nUsing casein, egg tempera, and gouache.\nWhen the rains came I learned:\nAquamedia's turned\nTo a multi-hued mess by a wash.", "id": 14674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "As I passed a gendarme in \u00c9vreux\nI enquired of him, \"Est-ce que tu peux . . . ?\"\nHe replied, \"Va te faire\u2014\"\nSo I stopped him right there\nAnd disgustedly bade him adieu.", "id": 14675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Quickbeam", "limerick": "As the firemen await the alarum,\nTheir commander makes comments that jar 'em\nRegarding who's dressed\nIn the worst and the best\u2014\nHe's the arbiter elegantiarum.", "id": 14676, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Two cowpokes rode bareback. The twain\nLater got off and rested. The rain\nMust have slickened their steeds,\n'Cause a slipp'ry stud leads\nTo tumbles, a broke back, or sprain.", "id": 14677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"OnkaCHONK,\" booms one voice of a bittern,\nAs though bowing a cittern or gittern.\nIts continuo stills\nWhen raised bills, like sharp quills,\nLeave birders as bitter as flittern.", "id": 14678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, too much time on his hands,\nCarried bejel to dry dusty lands.\nNow their children have sores\nOn their bods by the scores,\nSpread when moms scrub their babies with sands.", "id": 14679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "By abstriction this fungus makes spores:\nThe sporophore coyly ignores\nThe septum, whose growing\n(Like biblical knowing)\nShears spores, then rolls over and snores.", "id": 14680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Brevik", "limerick": "Said a tourist, \"Where did my umbrella go,\nAnd furthermore, why would a fella go,\nIn the season of rain,\nTo this damned island chain,\nThis forsaken-by-God archipelago?\"", "id": 14681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "The wilderness known as the backland\nIs virgin, without-any-track-land.\nIt's home to the moose\nAnd the goose and the spruce\u2014\nWell, until it's decreed lumberjack-land.", "id": 14682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "\"Big Louie\", for giggles and chuckles,\nHas a trick that he does with brass knuckles:\nJust a thump on your skull\nAnd your senses go dull,\nAs first one, then the other knee buckles.", "id": 14683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When people around you start ailing\nAnd even the healthy are failing,\nYou need to take care\nNot to breathe in their air\u2014\nStaying hale by judicious inhaling.", "id": 14684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A bassoonist makes sounds low and mellow.\nHis range is like that of the cello.\nHis solos are soulful,\nMost pensive and doleful,\nHe must be a very sad fellow.", "id": 14685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Despite being named like a girl, he\nSought fame as a grappler, all burly.\nWho'd have thought that small laddie\nWould become a Big Daddy?\nDon't laugh at his name, though: it's Shirley.", "id": 14686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "A bladder, a stick and some thread\nDon't instill a sensation of dread.\nYou must be a fool\nTo use such a tool\nFor beating me over the head.", "id": 14687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "It is autoregressive, conditional\u2014\nDistributions, like fractals, traditional.\nHetero-skedasticity,\nFor Engle, simplicity,\nBut Bollerslev's GARCH is additional.", "id": 14688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "In fear of a moral morass,\nThe blue laws in Mass. came to pass.\nIf you want to buy booze\nOn a Sunday, you lose.\nSo we head to New Hampshire en masse.", "id": 14689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Want a slice from Grimaldi's wit cheese?\nThen youse guys betta speak  Brooklynese.\nIt's da way we all tawk\n('Cuz it's friggin' Noo Yawk!)\nAnd no accents are betta den dese!", "id": 14690, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Apple corer, oh, how to endure\nA life without you in the drawer \u2014\nUnable to eat\nAn apple (so sweet!)\nWithout having to chomp on the core?", "id": 14691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Though the firm Trinitarians heed\nThe verbose Athanasian creed,\nThe Apostles' is fine\nFor holding the line\nOn belief\u2014and a much better read!", "id": 14692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While an ox was out pulling a plow,\nHe was smitten with love for a cow.\nBut the cow heard, I fear,\nThat he's just a bum steer,\nSo his bull's unconvincing right now.", "id": 14693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Yes, the death omen grimly predicts it:\nHis age at his death \u2014 thirty-six. It\nIs tragic and sad,\nBut it isn't all bad:\nFew can say, in advance, annos vixit.", "id": 14694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See my roses? They're starting to bourgeon.\nAggressive new growth is emergin'.\nI let them surround me\nAnd nobody's found me.\nPlease help!  These thorns prick like a surgeon.", "id": 14697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "When your teenager fails to arise\nAnd refuses to open her eyes,\nToss a bucket of water.\nIt's bracing for Daughter,\nAn enlivening, rousing surprise.", "id": 14698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A civilian who pilots a plane,\nA mechanic the Air Force will train,\nAnd a techie for Boeing\nWho keeps a jet going\nAre airmen, with flight their domain.", "id": 14699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a place done the Indian way\nKnown as Ahmadabad, near Bombay.\nIt has temples and tombs,\nAnd some mosques, one assumes,\nFor a Hindi-Islamic cachet.", "id": 14700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's back talk and guff they demand\nFrom a cook at a hamburger stand.\nBut I've never had sass\n(Being brought up with class),\nSo my sasslessness might get me canned.", "id": 14701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "On the farm, all we piggies are brothers.\n\"Each is equal,\" say even our mothers!\nThough our anti-elitism\nIs a just-can't-be-beat ism,\nSome are more equal than others.", "id": 14702, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Irene Weber", "limerick": "My dog is not pretty to see.\nHis legs are curved out at the knee.\nThough bowlegged and old,\nHe'll never be sold,\nBecause he is so dear to me.", "id": 14703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife goes antiquing all day,\nAnd all night I'm critiquing the way\nThat she's blowing our dough\nBuying relics that go\n(To my pique) in the attic to stay.", "id": 14704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The world's highest summit is near,\nAnd this Sherpa is chewing my ear,\nSpewing maxims non-stop\nAs we trudge to the top.\nAm I climbing Mount Aphorist here?", "id": 14705, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "Can't believe what I'm hearing and seeing;\nAll around me, my neighbors are fleeing!\nLocal troops are deployed,\nAnd the town's been destroyed\nBy some horrible alien being.", "id": 14706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Just what is an autotransfusion?\nDon't fret; it won't cause a contusion.\nIt's when blood that's drawn out\n(Where it's treated, no doubt)\nIs returned to the source, in conclusion.", "id": 14707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A binger's a ravenous dude,\nWho can drink till he's horribly stewed,\nOr a terrible pig\nWho has cravings so big\nHe can eat up a mountain of food.", "id": 14709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "My amanogawa's a tree\nOf old Japanese breed, you agree?\nWhitish-pink blossoms bloom,\nAnd its branches assume\nA tall sheaflike appearance for me.", "id": 14710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "One endeavours to draw a fine line,\nAnd avoid taking sides, to define\nAny word that alludes\nTo entrenched attitudes,\nBut in this case I simply decline.", "id": 14711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "If you pine for your place categorical,\nAnd you fancy the flora arborical,\nYou've my leave (please feel free)\nTo bark out, \"I'm a tree!\"\nIf it suits you, with roots metaphorical.", "id": 14712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The divine is, by \"mood\", made diviner.\nIn music, the scale's one definer.\nThough \"sadness\" once showed\nIn Aeolian mode,\nIt's more common in natural minor.", "id": 14713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some folks feel that English should be\nOur one language; I do not agree.\nAll my neighbors speak French;\nShould I hide in a trench?\nIt's biculturalism for me!", "id": 14714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My cousin's a thief, so he's prone\nTo run off with what isn't his own\u2014\nStealing rolls from the diner\nAnd Grandma's bone china.\nHis larceny's bred-in-the-bone.", "id": 14715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We've a broadminded master at school,\nWho allows us to break every rule;\nBut his colleagues all hate\nWhen his broad-minded trait\nGets him charged with harassment\u2014the fool!", "id": 14716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "When you've sucked all the juice from the cane,\nThe dry bits of pulp that remain\nAre known as bagasse,\nWhich reminds me, alas,\nWhat relaxed-fitting jeans might contain.", "id": 14717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm an atavist, just like before,\nAnd my knuckles may drag on the floor,\nBut they called me a throwback,\nSo I'll never go back\nTo finishing school any more.", "id": 14718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "When the high, cloudless sky is ablaze\nAnd no fronts mar the forecast for days,\nThen the weatherman's topic\nIs called barotropic:\nThe atmosphere's smooth as a glaze.", "id": 14719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "The Wrights had both courage and flair!\nThey equipped their new craft with two pair\nOf wings. Would it fly,\nOr their dreams simply die\nWith this flyer not lighter than air?", "id": 14720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "Mountain climbing without a pup tent\nIn warm weather's a big non-event.\nBut in ice and in snow,\nPlease don't ask me to go:\nNo assent for a bivouac ascent.", "id": 14721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "People say this as if it referred\nTo exacting revenge, but I've heard\nThat in Biblical times\nPeople paid for their crimes\u2014\nNo literal gouging occurred.", "id": 14722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiurban fanatics don't like\nTo reside where you can't ride a bike\nWithout soon getting brushed\nBy a taxi, or rushed\nLike a steer in a herd down the pike.", "id": 14723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Whenever you're buying a pair\nOf sunglasses, always take care\nThat a firm guarantee\nSays they screen out UV\nAnd they're treated to be antiglare.", "id": 14724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I bought it because of its looks\u2014\nA bookcase with shelves hung on hooks.\nIt was full in a week.\nWant to see? Take a peek!\nYou'll find everything in it but books.", "id": 14725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Eosinophils, found in the blood,\nWere acidocytes, after the flood\n(Or at least in the past),\nBut the word didn't last\u2014\nIt lies buried in history's mud.", "id": 14726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My Mexican girlfriend is Nina.\nWe met at the local marina.\nIn her odd-sounding lingo\nShe calls me a \"gringo\"\nOr \"anglo,\" herself a \"Latina.\"", "id": 14727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend is singing my praises.\nMy broadness, he says, just amazes;\nBut a question, I find:\nDoes he speak of my mind\nOr my backside? It's there that he gazes!", "id": 14728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Alimonious, word of remorse,\nMight refer to the apr\u00e8s-divorce,\nTo those payments that vex\u2014\nThe support of one's ex\u2014\nBut it just means \"nutritious,\" of course.", "id": 14729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since amiability's high\nOn the list of the attributes I\nTend to seek in a date,\nAnd your charm is first rate,\nI am sure you are my kind of guy.", "id": 14730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An old bachelor stated, \"I need\nA young wife to assure that I breed.\"\nWhen he met Bernadette,\nA brunette bachelorette,\nShe agreed, \"Yes, indeed! Let's proceed!\"", "id": 14732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a guy with guitar wants to croon\nTo his gal 'neath the silvery moon,\nTo be ready he must\u2014\nNot adapt or adjust\u2014\nI guess the best word is attune.", "id": 14733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adenologist: one who commands\nSkill and knowledge to meet the demands\nOf his field, gland biology.\nWhat's endocrinology?\nThe medical study of glands.", "id": 14734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An assagai (African spear)\nMay be used on a man or a deer.\nIn the first case: arrest.\nIn the second, at best,\nA roast venison soon will appear.", "id": 14735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the first part of life, the skull grows,\nAnd feels soft, as each grandmother knows.\nAt the top of the head,\nWhere the bones are still spread,\nAt the bregma, the softness best shows.", "id": 14736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For those who are long in the tooth\nAnd are seeking a fountain of youth:\nIn your search for perfection,\nTry Botox injection.\nIt won't be considered uncouth.", "id": 14737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blue pencillers; what are they for?\nTo do work I distinctly deplore!\nThey take what I've written\nAnd toss, without quittin',\nMy beautiful words on the floor.", "id": 14738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Coney Island had sideshows and rides\nOn its boardwalk, and plenty besides:\nBoats that rode in the dark,\nAnd, in Steeplechase Park,\nAn ingenious assortment of slides.", "id": 14739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the Nazis made Poland their slave,\nThe declared antifascists were brave.\nWhile they formed a resistance,\nThe rest kept their distance,\nStayed silent, and tried to behave.", "id": 14740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Abijah pursued a just war;\nHad thirty-eight children, no more.\nI kid you not, kiddo;\nGo read it in Iddo,\nWho wrote of this fine king of yore.", "id": 14741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The Argentine plays the bandoneon\n(First German, but now Patagonian).\nButtons left, buttons right,\nIn and out, through the night\u2014\nA beginner's a pure Pandemonian.", "id": 14742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A coordinate some would find cryptic,\nThe ascending node marks the ecliptic.\nA horoscope carries\nThe \"first point of Aries\"\n(A synonym much more elliptic).", "id": 14743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm afraid something bad has occurred,\nThat my animal magnetism's erred:\nIn her mesmerized state,\nPolly's losing some weight.\n(Did you sell me a moribund bird?)", "id": 14744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Irene Weber", "limerick": "Baby-sitter: A job that's misnamed.\nIt implies something vaguely untamed.\nBut with more inquisition,\nIt means supervision\nOf children, so no one is maimed.", "id": 14745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In Phnom Penh, happy pizza is strong,\nBut they'll get you riel for a song.\nGo to see Angkor Wat;\nThey like bucks, they like baht,\nAnd will gladly accept your new dong.", "id": 14746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When base 2 and base 5 make a pair,\nA bi-quinary number is there.\nIt's what abaci use,\nAnd can roundly confuse\nRound-eyed Yanks at a Chinatown fair.", "id": 14747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When an eagle is soaring, he's king,\nAnd to aerodynamics he'll bring\nWhat to us is a thumb,\nBut in birds has become\nJust an alula (spurious wing).", "id": 14748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Man the barricades!\" bellows our leader,\nAs the guns and the ammo I feed her,\nBut it isn't PC\n(As our troops are all she),\nSo I doubt that the others will heed her.", "id": 14749, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For artillators, arrows and bows\nAre the products they craft, and it shows\nWhen they're peddling their wares\nAt the markets and fairs\u2014\nWhither archers, the artiller goes.", "id": 14750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our accountant, I fear, is a fount\nOf deception.  Say, what's this amount\nHe deducted?  Just look!\nWe must bring him to book,\nAnd his bookkeeper, bring to account.", "id": 14751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My kids like to build with their blocks.\nThey make castles and cities and docks.\nThough they make lovely floors,\nWorking archwise, their doors\nJust collapse like an old pair of socks.", "id": 14752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Biosensors are gadgets that measure\nLife functions, at work or at leisure.\nYou can party till dawn\nWith a monitor on\u2014\nA computer will measure your pleasure.", "id": 14753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He enlisted a whole entourage\nTo build a remote hermitage.\nWith his colleagues and friends,\nWho supplied odds and ends,\nHe constructed a grand bricolage.", "id": 14754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I thought I'd play Hamlet, the day\nI auditioned to be in the play;\nBut I'm Osric and I\nMust, in playing him, try\nTo be foppish, beribboned, and fey.", "id": 14755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My vet said it's painful to tell,\nBut my horses are not doing well;\nAnd my mare, he believes,\nBroken-winded, has heaves.\nHey, what is that malodorous smell?", "id": 14756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Use cocaine?  That is really moronic;\nAddiction's no fun when it's chronic.\nThe guy who says \"Fine!\"\nAfter snorting a line,\nIn withdrawal, becomes anhedonic.", "id": 14757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When Maggie and Harry made plans,\nMom went shopping for pots and for pans.\nMaggie said, \"Don't forget\nWe are not married yet.\nWe have not even posted the banns.\"", "id": 14758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've exceptional talent within,\nAnd my handwriting's neat as a pin,\nBut each morning and night\nWhen I sit down to write,\nI just never know where to begin.", "id": 14759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was bristling when asked to define\nThe word brisling, while starting to dine,\nBut defined it, unerring,\n\"It's a sprat or a herring.\nNow I'll eat some, in sauce made with wine.\"", "id": 14760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ben-Hur won a mighty ovation\nIn theaters all over the nation;\nThough it wasn't the acting\nThat did the attracting,\nBut the wonderfully filmed aurigation.", "id": 14761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now and then, the old priest gets an urge\nTo do something that's daring, to splurge.\nBut with water that's holy,\nHe'd never splash. Slowly,\nWith care, he prepares to asperge.", "id": 14762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My approach was explosive, atomic;\nLooking back, I can see it was comic.\nI said, \"Marry me, please!\"\nAs we strolled o'er the leas,\nBut his interest was just agronomic.", "id": 14763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Art for art's sake,\" he loudly proclaimed.\n\"I don't care if my canvas looks maimed!\"\nBut one look at this mess,\nAnd the viewer will guess\nThat, down deep, the man must be ashamed.", "id": 14764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her bosom (the glands on her chest)\nIs the part that the boys like the best.\nLike two melons, a pair\u2014\nBut the trouble is they're\nBoth completely attached to the rest.", "id": 14766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My son is a doc, a clinician;\nHe's known as a bariatrician.\nHis specialty's fat;\nNever mind where you're at,\nTo achieve healthy weight\u2014that's his mission.", "id": 14767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A bold-hearted madman named Cassity\nConfronted his docs with audacity.\nHe stood on his head\nAnd drank six Watney's Red\nAs a proof of his mental capacity.", "id": 14768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some words I pick up in my reading,\nI use for the practice I'm needing;\nSo kindly be lenient\nIf I say antevenient,\nWhen I simply could utter preceding.", "id": 14769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anacathartic: it means\nIf you take it you'll spill all your beans.\nI don't mean that you'll prate;\nYou'll throw up all you ate\u2014\nYou will vomit all over your jeans.", "id": 14770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Take ascorbic (the acid),\" you're told,\nIf you feel that you're catching a cold.\nThe term also can be\nPronounced \"vitamin C\"\u2014\nEat your citrus and live to be old.", "id": 14771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The cop on the beat was discreet;\nWhen cornered, he beat a retreat.\nNext he beat up a pest\nWho resisted arrest,\nThen he needed a rest\u2014he was beat.", "id": 14773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her breakfront stands next to the wall,\nHolding porcelain, china, and all,\nBut she lives on a fault\nWhere the quakes never halt,\nSo her treasures are likely to fall.", "id": 14774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am glad to report the prognosis\nIs benign for your skin's acanthosis.\nOne layer's grown thicker;\nCells multiply quicker.\n(No need for a panic neurosis!)", "id": 14775, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At his lectures on earth-crust exploring,\nI frequently find myself snoring.\nI know it is crude\nAnd I hate to be rude,\nBut I find that his content is boring.", "id": 14776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the study of plants my pet peeve's\nAll the difficult terms one perceives.\nNo clearer than mud,\nAn ambiparous bud\nIs the kind with both flowers and leaves.", "id": 14777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The unfortunate person who lands\nIn this mess will meet many demands.\nHe has lost both his fists;\nThey're cut off at the wrists.\nHe's amanous, or: \"Look, Ma, no hands!\"", "id": 14778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This web site is warmly inviting;\nIts editor savvy, exciting,\nA man of seniority\nAnd a world-class authority\nOn the science of limerick writing.", "id": 14779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Apagoge? This proves what I say.\nIt's correct 'cause the opposite way,\nAs I've shown, is absurd\u2014\nBut don't just take my word\u2014\nThink it through and you'll see I'm okay.", "id": 14780, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A mural he wanted to paint,\nOf a landscape, both rural and quaint.\nAs he's not a Vermeer,\nHe'd bedaub and besmear;\nBut alas, Jackson Pollock he ain't.", "id": 14781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anuric means lacking in pee,\nWhen the urine just doesn't flow free.\nIt's a dreadful condition,\nAnd that's why I'm wishin'\nIt never will happen to me.", "id": 14782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "From the bancus superior court\nCome decrees of the most stable sort.\n(Also known as Queen's Bench\u2014\nIt's from Latin, not French\u2014\nAnd in writing as banc. sup. for short.)", "id": 14783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "For brothers, we sometimes say brethren,\nYet more than one mother's not \"methren\".\nThis irregular form\nIs so far from the norm,\nIt's a plural unlike any ethren.", "id": 14784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An archimage, rotten right through,\nGrew enraged, so decided to sue\nWailing wives of those dangling\n(Whom now he'd done mangling)\nFor blocking his bloody good view.", "id": 14785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "My accommodativeness now\nIs, I know, insufficient, but how\nCan I find enough space\nTo define with good grace\nClumsy words that so furrow my brow?", "id": 14786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Afrikanerdom's such a strange word,\nYet its folk are like us, so I've heard.\nWhen they stress, in their land,\n\"My pen is in my hand\",\nIt means just what we think. How absurd!", "id": 14787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anchorwomen, not quite the same\nAs anchormen, play the same game.\nReading news, they don't laugh\u2014\nJust a smile that is half\nMona Lisa and half Auntie Mame.", "id": 14788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When it comes to my daughter, I'm torn.\nIs she more like a rose or a thorn?\nI have suffered with her,\nThough the sufferings were\nAntenatal \u2014 before she was born.", "id": 14789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm sure it won't come as a shock\nThat small bubbles appear in a flock,\nFilled with stuff of all sorts,\nSuch as calcite and quartz;\nThey're amygdules in igneous rock.", "id": 14790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In English we've words that are busters,\nWhile others, genteel, sport fine lusters,\nBut most have no jazz,\nNothing special, such as\nAcervuline: being in clusters.", "id": 14791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am writing this letter to Scott\nTo say I've become antipot,\nSo he'd better take heed\nAnd get rid of the weed,\nOr the sex that was hot will be not.", "id": 14792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I never know what I should think;\nI fear I am nearing the brink.\nHe equivocates, savors\nAmbivalence, wavers;\nAmphibology drives me to drink!", "id": 14793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As the cells of the body conduct\nNormal functions, inside them are tucked\nCertain enzymes, by name:\nAutolytic. Their game?\nIf released, the cells autodestruct.", "id": 14794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One hundred percent hydroponic,\nHis grapes make a wine that's like tonic.\nThough the bubbles remain,\nIt is not like champagne,\nAnd its nose is distinctly ammonic.", "id": 14795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is hard to maintain concentration\nWith agita gripping our nation,\nFrom a terrorist threat\nThat we just can't forget\n(It's a type of advanced aggravation).", "id": 14796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Achylia's having no juice\nIn the stomach\u2014a fluid of use\nIn digesting one's food,\nThat may sometimes include\nBoth a goose and a chocolate mousse.", "id": 14797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The sheep in the meadow stand baaing,\nWhile goats, nibbling grass, stand there maaing,\nJust grazing and gazing\u2014\nI find it amazing\u2014\nWhile rabbits are ma-ing and pa-ing.", "id": 14798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To be rude, to be crude, to be lewd\nIs to act very boorishly, dude.\nIf you think it's okay\nTo behave in this way,\nThen I guess that your values are skewed.", "id": 14799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In churches, wherever you stray\nIn the heart of the U. S. of A.\nYou may find, filled with mourners,\nWhat're called amen corners,\nWhere the loudest parishoners pray.", "id": 14800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anchormen read us the news,\nAnd they don't often give us their views.\nThey're the first and the last\nOn each videocast,\nLooking dignified, hairpiece to shoes.", "id": 14802, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Nymphomaniac's commonly known\nAs the word for a woman who's prone\nTo have sex, on and on,\nLike a female Don Juan;\nShe's a true andromaniac clone.", "id": 14803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I would rather make pots out of ball clay\nThan that plastic-you-buy-at-the-mall clay.\nUntil fired, it's dark,\nThen it's white\u2014what a lark!\nAnd it's permanent, once-and-for-all clay.", "id": 14804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Pronounce it? I just don't know how!\nIf I did, I would sure take a bow;\nBut it's tied with a bow\nSo I don't really know.\nShould I rhyme it with sow or with sow?", "id": 14805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For my breakfast, I'm always a fan\nOf a cereal made out of bran.\nIt's not a vulgarity\nTo prize regularity\u2014\nSo try some as soon as you can.", "id": 14806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Jackie Mason makes many a crack,\nAnd he's rude when he jokes and talks back.\nWould we want him more placid?\nHis wit is so acid\u2014\nWill life ever basify Jack?", "id": 14807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Can a thing be both chipper and blue,\nBoth at once?  I don't think so, do you?\nYet blue-chippers there are,\nAnd more stable by far\nThan my junk bonds;  I own quite a few.", "id": 14808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Dead animal tissue, when spoiled,\nAnd its molecules battered and roiled,\nAdipocerated, may\nMake us hasten away,\nSince with adipocere it is soiled.", "id": 14809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The censor whose job's antiporn\nMust review books and pictures. He's torn.\nThough he really hates smut,\nHe's exposed to a glut\nThat submerges him noon, night and morn.", "id": 14810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friends and my neighbors are scolders;\nThey point to the snow on my shoulders\nAnd pursue their promotion:\nAntidandruff-type lotion.\nYou'd think that those flakes were all boulders!", "id": 14811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He set up this role-play to be\nA study in rude repartee.\nHe couldn't be blunter\u2014\nSaid, \"I'm the affronter,\nAnd you're the inept affrontee.\"", "id": 14812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The anesthetist doesn't work cheap.\nHer job is to put you to sleep,\nSo the surgeon can cut\nAnd you'll keep your eyes shut,\nLying still without making a peep.", "id": 14813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When she opens her petals, then she\nLooks as fair as a flower can be\u2014\nShe's a sea creature, though\u2014\nCalled actinia, so\nThis anemone lives in the sea.", "id": 14814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An aerologist: \"Has he the task\nOf studying air?\" you may ask.\nWhere the atmosphere's sparest,\nHe finds his work fairest;\nTo get there he must wear a mask.", "id": 14815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Backgammon's a game I don't play.\nIt would take many hours away\nThat I need for my work\nAnd my other odd quirk,\nAll the limericks written each day.", "id": 14816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From the bangles you wear on your wrist\nComes a music that's hard to resist.\nMetal bracelets, quite round,\nMake a sweet jingling sound,\nLike a windchime that Zephyrus kissed.", "id": 14817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ametabola do not endure\nMetamorphosis, thus are secure\nIn their insect identities.\nTheir newly hatched entities\nAre nymphs till they're fully mature.", "id": 14818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "There are practices\u2014quite a high stack\u2014\nAll defined by the proof that they lack;\nThese alternative health\nMethods sure gather wealth\u2014\nBut when challenged, they duck like a quack!", "id": 14819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Dr. Atkins espoused a new diet\nSo popular thousands would try it.\nCarbohydrates? No way!\nAnd yet fats are OK.\nAs for me, I still say I don't buy it.", "id": 14820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "An asthmatic young tenor named Steve,\nAt slow tempos, would frequently grieve,\n\"Though I don't flag or waver\nWhen singing a quaver,\nI simply can't hold a whole breve!\"", "id": 14821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Hank\nWho decided to open a bank.\nBut he did something funny\nWith deposited money\u2014\nWithdrawal? He stared and looked blank.", "id": 14822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In college I learned APL,\nA language they told me was swell.\nMuch time I'd devote\nTo the programs I wrote;\nNow those efforts have all gone to Hell.", "id": 14823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An arrowworm floats in the sea,\nIn the plankton that's Neptune's debris.\nOne will see, if one looks,\nThat its head carries hooks\nUsed to capture its prey with esprit.", "id": 14824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Writing anchorperson (somewhere between\nAnchorman/anchorwoman) is seen,\nThough perhaps hypocritically,\nAs correctness, politically,\nIn the stories in Time magazine.", "id": 14825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the love-smitten teen first gave voice\nTo his preference for marrying Joyce,\nWho was well over forty,\nHis permissive dad, Morty,\nThat instant became antichoice.", "id": 14826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An aptronym's somebody's name\nThat matches her job or his game,\nLike Ms. Prose, who's a writer,\nBill Boxer, a fighter;\nIs it nomen est omen?  The same.", "id": 14827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antinuclear\u2014this word's a double.\nNumber one: the cell's core is in trouble.\nNumber two: fighting arms\nThat bring nuclear harms,\nSo our world's not converted to rubble.", "id": 14828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a pair are accordant we find\nThey're compatible, both of one mind;\nThey concur, they agree,\nThey consent, say, \"Mais oui!\"\nThey're concerted, and may be combined.", "id": 14829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Near the dumpster, the ring-billed gulls perched\nAnd American crows cawed, then lurched;\nFor the burger joint's crew\nKept the leavings from view:\nBurgers stapled in bags, none besmirched.", "id": 14830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "He's made batches from here to infinity\nOf this fudgy confection whose trinity\u2014\nSugar, water, albumen\u2014\nForm tastes of the numen\nTo the Bachelor man of Divinity.", "id": 14831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "His systolic was two hundred three,\nDiastolic was forty:  the fee\nFor this blood pressure spread\nWas a stroke in the head,\nOn account of a too-wide BP.", "id": 14832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Male Bonasa umbellus ruffed grouse\nCreates music when wooing a spouse.\nFirst, he stands tall and thrums\nWith his wings, as on drums,\nThen displays fan and ruff to the house.", "id": 14833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "While vanilla as flavoring's boring,\nThe vanilla bean's prices are soaring.\nIts orchid festoons\nTropic timbers, whose boons\nAre axed daily, while food snobs are snoring.", "id": 14834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "By its colors each plumage is checkered,\nAmong flycatcher tyrants named becard.\nMales of species endue\nWith a tropical hue,\nSixteen patterns of color, by record.", "id": 14835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "If your ethics are spotty as maculo-\nPapular rash, learn from Draculo:\nFolks won't notice a spot\nIf you beat them a lot.\nRule with fear, wield the rod, use abaculo.", "id": 14836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Purple coneflower, herbal of old,\nEchinacea's tea for the bold.\nAlso known as black sampson,\nThis flower slaps clamps on\nFatigue that invites common cold.", "id": 14837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "What if sibilant English had been\nFormed of letters cedilla and shin?\nEvery plural would frown\nAs an aggregate noun\nIn an esslessness fit for a queen.", "id": 14838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The black mustard seed looks rather small,\nBut its plant grows to four meters tall.\nThrough its internal pipe\nThis tall Brassica hyp-\neraccumulates lead in its thrall.", "id": 14839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The conservator had to decide\nIf the \"Venus\" by Rubens (so wide\nThat the canvas had ripped)\nShould be stretched and then stripped\nBefore stitching her ample backside.", "id": 14840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My neighbour's an excellent cook;\nLikes his carp charcoal-grilled \"off the hook.\"\nSo nine platinum blondes\n(In a line past his ponds)\nMade a barbecue down by the brook.", "id": 14841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I observed, in disquieted mood,\nAn armlike appendage protrude.\nI reacted with dread;\nAs it reached for my head,\nI became altogether unglued.", "id": 14842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word Aryan wasn't a sad word,\nMeant a family (never a fad word)\nOf tongues.  In its place\nHitler wrote \"Master Race\"\nAnd turned Aryan into a bad word.", "id": 14843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Australia, a barbie's a grill\nWhere your host broils the food with great skill.\nIs your diet low-carb-y?\nYour steak's on the barbie!\nMore shrimp? Yes, I guess that I will.", "id": 14844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When women develop ascites\nTheir shapes are unlike Aphrodite's\u2014\nWith bellies, once splendid,\nBy fluid distended,\nThey favor voluminous nighties.", "id": 14845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Barracuda: their bites make a mark,\nAnd they're scary to meet in the dark.\nWith teeth so impressive,\nThese fish are aggressive,\nBut not in a class with the shark.", "id": 14846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "They're antichrists; that's what I figure.\nMy proof? I deduce it with rigor:\nSince they left us, they're gone.\nIt's not our side they're on.\nHad they stayed, then our side would be bigger.", "id": 14847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "In seeking Christ's pardon from sinning,\nJerusalemites had been winning.\nBut Antioch's claim\nTo acclaim is their name\u2014\nIt's where Christians first had their beginning.", "id": 14848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Ancient woods are this pig's cafeteria,\nWhere its search for one acorn would weary a\nPig of less note.\nSweet and dark, the ballote\nFeeds the finest of hams in Iberia.", "id": 14849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If you hear a strange chime, like a gong,\nIn some wood where no bell should belong,\nThat mysterious sound\n(Which can echo around)\nIs the bell-bird's reverberant song.", "id": 14850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "The abessive's the case to declare\nThat a thing is away or not there.\nSomewhat formal in style,\nIt is once in a while\nUsed by Finns, who have cases to spare.", "id": 14851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Znirk", "limerick": "Is it \"weightlifting minus the strain\"?\nOr \"an updraft replacing a crane\"?\nI've been thinking, you see,\nWhat an airlift might be\nIf it didn't mean \"transport by plane.\"", "id": 14852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A dancer's most happy by far\nWhen she pictures herself as a star,\nIn her tutu and tights,\nWith her name up in lights,\nOr, in short, when she's called to the barre.", "id": 14853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you sew very loosely, you baste,\nIn preparing a seam or a waist,\nWhile in roasting a goose,\nWhen you spoon on the juice,\nThen you baste to enhance the food's taste.", "id": 14854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The language we think of as babble\nIs used by barbarian rabble.\nAlthough I am leaning\nTo guess it has meaning,\nI can't use its words playing Scrabble.", "id": 14855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ten Commandments, of wide distribution,\nI've adopted for self-execution.\nBut I still have my fun\u2014\nThe adultery one\nI interpret as antidilution.", "id": 14857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Sandwort rootlets clutch sand in their ravel.\nTurnstones hunt for their lunch under gravel.\nArenaria places\nThem all in sand spaces.\nStay put, herbs! The shorebirds must travel.", "id": 14858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Her come-on was meant to excite,\nAnd she offered a taste of delight.\nBut no sex was to be.\nI'm a cannibal\u2014see?\nSo for me it was love at first bite.", "id": 14859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "With his financing out of control,\nHaving mortgaged both body and soul,\nEd turned to the Mob\nTo bankroll the job.\nTheir investment's his ace in the hole.", "id": 14860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "The city's a rat-race, I've found.\nTo the outback or backblocks I'm bound.\nNo one cares I'm a frump\nOut beyond the black stump,\nAnd there's plenty of space to go round.", "id": 14861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A foul-talking fellow named Frank\nWas enraged by a neighbor kid's prank.\nHe was cursing on high\nWhen the pastor came by.\nAll we heard then was \"Blankety-blank!\"", "id": 14862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Women's beachwear has changed through the years,\nFrom the time a bare ankle drew leers\nThrough the one-piece and (wow!)\nThe bikini to now\u2014\nWith the thong, they're exposing their rears!", "id": 14863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bioscientists study our lives.\nAnthropologists count up our wives.\nSociologists know\nHow relationships go\u2014\nYet my doc can't explain why I've hives!", "id": 14864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "So said my computer-wise cleric:\n\"Bless this text that is alphanumeric.\nThese letters are fine\nAnd the numbers divine,\nBut I curse at those #@%$&* esoteric.\"", "id": 14865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm wearing my chemist's apparel\nAs I write this affectionate carol,\n\"Hydrocarbons right through\n(Aromatics to you):\nThey're the compounds we speak of as aryl!\"", "id": 14866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though I don't accept Mazda or Zeus,\nOr any god, that's no excuse\n(Yes, my creed's atheistic,\nAnd I shun all that's mystic)\nFor subjecting my views to abuse.", "id": 14867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your neighbors may break into chortles\nIf the architraves over your portals\nBear your face, archangelic\nAs a late Roman relic,\nIn an effort to join the immortals.", "id": 14868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An arithmetician I know,\nGood at Go (good enough to go pro),\nWith a grin laughs away\nMy reluctance to play,\n\"It's like sex: easy come, easy Go.\"", "id": 14869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I trash reputations for fun,\nLeaving victims upset and undone.\nSince I suffer from fell\nHalitosis, as well,\nI can bad-mouth in more ways than one.", "id": 14870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Akkadian god they called Ashur\nWas a handsome imperial smasher,\nDistinct from the other gods,\nHis Mid-Eastern brother-gods\u2014\nMore powerful, stronger and brasher.", "id": 14871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If you think that a princess is square,\nAnd a teardrop is really a pear,\nI'd be willing to bet\nThat you know briolette\nMeans \"more facets than Frankie Voltaire.\"", "id": 14872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "An overseas sov'reign exaction\nCould urge you to bring legal action.\nBut because of the act\nOf state doctrine, in fact,\nOur courts can't get you no satisfaction.", "id": 14873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Giving birth is one hell of a chore,\nProducing a fair bit of gore.\nThough Mom's birth pangs were strong,\nAnd her screaming was long,\nNow she's fine \u2014 but poor Dad's on the floor.", "id": 14874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "night_writer", "limerick": "There once was a gal from La Porte,\nLong before there was push-up or sport,\nWho said, \"I'm not vain,\nBut bras are too plain:\nMy bandeaux give my girls some support.\"", "id": 14875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "night_writer", "limerick": "First you're in, then you're out, now you're back.\nIt was, \"Yes,\" now it's, \"No.\" What you lack\nIs decision duration.\nJust stop vacillation!\nForget back and fill: get on track!", "id": 14876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "PM Eden: fine hats are his passion;\nMakes his own (as he feels they're quite dashin').\nHe's no hatter, but thinks\nHe can work out The Kinks:\nDedicated, this leader of fashion.", "id": 14877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Six and wow it can red and is dead?\nRoll debate light and happy eat said.\nInterject pet the cat,\nClimb the lake clouds think bat.\nBlue light bed underfed sofa head.", "id": 14878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "A brioche (a light roll, rich with butter\nAnd eggs) sets my taste buds aflutter.\nWho could harden her heart\nTo this baker's high art\nBut an anti-cholesterol nutter?", "id": 14879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "Said the small in the teeming Cretaceous\n(As they sought to evade the predacious),\n\"Fear ankylosaurus?\nHis armor won't gore us.\nHe only consumes the herbaceous!\"", "id": 14880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "There's a bright-colored-buttock buffoon\nWhose hairless rear end makes 'em swoon.\nTo his dog-muzzle face\nSome might say, \"A disgrace,\"\nBut I'd counter, instead, \"A baboon.\"", "id": 14881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and mino", "limerick": "You've got absolute alcohol? Whoa!\nThat's a booze so damn pure it has no\nMore than one percent, tops\n(Just a couple of drops!),\nOf depressingly pure H2O.", "id": 14882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "You might hear an alert, or alarum,\nIf some lawyers sneak into a harem\n\tJust to take a quick peek,\n\tAnd the girls give a shriek.\nAnd the sheik? Well, he just might \"disbar\" 'em.", "id": 14884, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "All proper and prim was the bride,\nWho found bigamy hard to abide.\nHow on earth could she know\nAs she marched all aglow\nShe was marrying Jekyll and Hyde?", "id": 14886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "\"Wha'sa matter?\" he slurred alcoholically.\n\"I'm upset,\" she replied melancholically.\n\"I'm sick of your drinking,\nYour breath always stinking,\"\nAnd she raved on and on vitriolically.", "id": 14887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "She was wearing a gown that was backless.\nIt was tempting to say something tactless.\nThe back was so daring,\nI couldn't help staring\nTo check that the rear view was crackless.", "id": 14888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "Antisexual's where I am at\nSince my lover and I had a spat.\nMy affections withholding,\nNo way am I folding!\nIt's my way, or sleep with the cat.", "id": 14889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "Amarone is what I drink first,\nSince the problem I have ain't just thirst.\nWine this strong (not too sweet)\nMakes me wild, indiscreet.\nAt my best?  No, quite frankly, my worst.", "id": 14890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "You were scared of the man in the parka\nWhen he yelled? It was just a big lark, a\nWay to give you a fright\nFor the rugby tonight:\nHe's an All Black, and that was their haka.", "id": 14891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Before the doc worked on my teef,\nHe spritzed anaesthetic beneaf.\nI felt nuffin, it's true,\nUntil I came to \u2014\nThen I smacked my bare gums at the thief!", "id": 14892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I agonised daily for days\nAs I worried and tried to find ways\nTo pay all of the bills,\nWhich amounted to hills\nOf affliction, which said, \"Now you pays!\"", "id": 14893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Barcelona's a city in Spain.\nTo get there, just hop on a plane.\nOnce you've been there to see\nThe designs of Gaud\u00ed\nYou will visit again and again.", "id": 14894, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Baccal\u00e0 is a dried-up old cod\nThat some fisherman caught with a rod,\nBut when cooked by my mom\nAnd then served with aplomb,\nIt's a dish that was given by God.", "id": 14895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The queen mother (a lady who'd been a queen)\nCaught a fever with chills that chagrin a queen;\nThere's no need for hysteria,\nWe can treat her malaria\nWith atabrine (also called quinacrine).", "id": 14896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In our workshops, some critics are stressing\nArcana, instead of finessing.\nWhen you're working on mine\nStay inside of the line\nTwixt BSing and WSing.", "id": 14897, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Wherever I walk, men are awed.\nI am worshipped for brains and for bod.\nSo with reverence bow\nAnd adore me right now!\n(Autodeists presume they are God.)", "id": 14898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Akamai in Hawaiian means smart,\nTo be brainy\u2014score high on a chart\nWhen you're taking a test\nAnd you come out the best;\nAnd a tech firm with quite a good start.", "id": 14900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "We can make a quick sandwich to eat\nFor our lunch from this cold, pinkish meat;\nBaloney's the choice\nBy the popular voice\nAnd when voiced, with B.S. it competes.", "id": 14901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Let's begin at the end just for fun.\nThere's no style, there's no flair.\nWhat a boring affair!\nThey always begin on line one.\nThis limerick has barely begun.", "id": 14902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Got no words? Flip a bird to offend.\nIf it's thrust in disgust at a friend,\nThis companionless finger\nWill stingingly linger\u2014\nAffection will be at an end.", "id": 14903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "Abu is a surname that's rare\nAnd a first name that few people share.\nHe's Aladdin's small buddy,\nFrom Walt Disney's study;\nFor a monkey he moves with great flair.", "id": 14904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olioil", "limerick": "Eggy mayonnaise mixes up swell.\nBoth these words double letters to spell,\nAnd aioli is found\nWhen garlic is ground;\nBoth the lemon and i's mix in well.", "id": 14905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He's covered in prison tattoos,\nAnd that looks like fresh blood on his shoes.\nI've got my suspicions\nThe Sunday edition's\nToo thin for this stack of bad news.", "id": 14906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We use bedrock, a good solid noun,\nFor that layer of earth not far down\nThat is stable enough\nTo support homes and stuff.\n(Yes, it's also Fred Flintstone's hometown.)", "id": 14907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Barnyard baseball!  The critters had fun\nTill a hen, as the ump, came undone.\nAll excited, her squawk\n(And I quote) \"Balk!  Balk!  Balk!\"\nLet the turkey on first score a run.", "id": 14908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An adjustable-rate loan or note,\nIf you're buying, for instance, a boat,\nMeans the cost of your debt\nOn one rate isn't set.\nBoth your purchase and interest will float.", "id": 14909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Call them parasols, bumbershoots, golly!\nThe English stay dry with a brolly.\nIn the U.S., a fella\nPrefers an umbrella.\nIn windstorms, to use one is folly.", "id": 14911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "An assassin was sent to Stonehenge\nTo give justice (or dole out revenge).\nAs he fingered the trigger,\nCame a voice that got bigger:\n\"It is My role\u2014not yours\u2014to avenge.\"", "id": 14912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Highway driving abroad can be scary\n'Cause expressways have names that all vary:\nAutostrada in Rome;\nAutobahn, Audi's home;\nOn the autoroute, Frenchmen don't tarry.", "id": 14913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "On the first leg the runner was quick;\nThe baton passed with barely a flick\nTo the second, then third,\nThen the anchorman heard\nThe crowd's gasp when he failed\u2014dropped the stick!", "id": 14914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "His vehicle ground to a halt.\nNo more current, and that was the fault\nOf the battery, which\nHe profaned with \"you bitch.\"\nNow his battery's charging \"assault.\"", "id": 14915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You are bloodguilty. Thoughts haunt your mind.\nLive your life. Live it out. Guilt will bind\nYou from now till the end,\nFor your conscience won't mend.\nYou have killed. They will seek. Let them find.", "id": 14916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Benton Randall Olmsted", "limerick": "His pasty white dermis, you see,\nAppears albinistic to me.\nLittle Ray never plays\nOut of doors. He just stays\nIn the house all day watching TV.", "id": 14917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "If you need a solution, and quick,\nTo inheritance woes you can't lick;\nIf your half-brother's grown\nFar too fond of your throne,\nA bastard sword might do the trick.", "id": 14918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "If you ever catch someone defaming,\nOr anti-Semitic proclaiming,\nReport them forthwith\nTo the league (B'nai B'rith)\nFor a thorough denouncement and shaming.", "id": 14919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A houseguest at lunch saw a roach\nAnd decided, though tricky, he'd broach\nA talk with his host,\nWho now shuns him the most,\n'Cause \"nice pet\" was a bad first approach.", "id": 14921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "My rivulets zigzag and muddle:\nI'm rounding up ants in a puddle.\nAs they frantically race,\nWith my finger I trace\nAn amoebous design to befuddle.", "id": 14922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "The most favorite frolic of Fran:\nEating back-to-back apples. Bad plan!\nDowning eight in one night\nLed her straight to her plight:\nMaking back-to-back trips to the can.", "id": 14923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "If you're bastardly born, you've no dad;\nBut to bastardly act shows a cad.\nOnce, the meanings related,\nBut now that's outdated.\nBetter dadless than friendless, I'll add.", "id": 14924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Emily Joan", "limerick": "To eat with a fork's hard to swing,\nSo babies are likely to fling\nBits of food here and there.\nHang a wall by their chair:\nThe backsplash contains the whole thing.", "id": 14925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Schweizer", "limerick": "If more people arrive than you wish\u2014\nAnd you're wanting roast beef or some fish\u2014\nTry aforcing your meal.\nGrain or dairy's ideal\nTo bolster the bulk of your dish.", "id": 14926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Schweizer", "limerick": "It's autism's grisly reflection\nWhen children, devoid of connection,\nSeem so silent inside.\nDoes their consciousness hide\nIn looping and blank introspection?", "id": 14927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "Young doctors: a good way to start\nIn your training, and show me you're smart,\nIs to study anatomy.\nNow, please don't be mad at me;\nIt's how you tell organs apart.", "id": 14928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "My old Russian bubbe once said,\n\"A babushka will cover my head,\nTo hide all my hair,\nThough not much is there;\nMy bald spot is starting to spread.\"", "id": 14929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "Our passion tonight, will it thrill us?\nIt won't, if you pass a bacillus.\nIf you harbor a germ,\nWhile I'm kissing your derm,\nWithout penicillin, 'twill kill us.", "id": 14930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "There's this guy at the bar named Jack Turner;\nHe's not from 'round here, he's a furriner.\nWe're not really cookin'\nSo I'm gonna keep lookin'\nBut I'm leaving him on the back-burner.", "id": 14931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Gumby and Sella Turcica", "limerick": "On the stage, ballerinas chass\u00e9;\nThey pli\u00e9, pirouette, and jet\u00e9.\nBut they'll never go far\nWithout time at the barre.\n(It's for practice, not drinks, in ballet.)", "id": 14932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "The bazaar in the streets of Dakar\nOffers goods from both near and afar.\nSince they fit lingerie\nIn the light of the day,\nYou can buy a brassiere! How bizarre!", "id": 14933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sella Turcica", "limerick": "There once was a Gypsy from Roma\nWho moved to southwest Oklahoma;\nAnd this is the reason\nHer skin bears a lesion:\nIt's called basal cell carcinoma.", "id": 14934, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "On a grounder, a batter will race\nOn to first as the infielders chase\nFor the ball (which is thrown).\nBut his base hit is blown,\nIf that ball beats his feet to the base.", "id": 14935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "poi", "limerick": "A hipster found Mozart too square,\nSo to give it a jazzier air\nHe added some blue notes\n(Half-flatting the true notes)\nWhich made it too beatnik to bear!", "id": 14936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "surrealmonk", "limerick": "In a galaxy far, far away,\nA Jedi-to-be was at play.\nBut soon he was drawn\nTo be Palpatine's pawn\u2014\nTo the attrahent Dark Side he'd stray.", "id": 14937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "We've just buried, with many a hymn,\nThat daredevil limericist, Jim.\nWhat we last heard him say\nWas \"A.A.B.B.A.\"\nAlways bold, Jim went out on a lim.", "id": 14938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Jock believed Highland Games were a labour\nOf love (though his own sport was sabre).\nBut when running full tilt,\nHe abandoned his kilt.\nPeople thought he was tossing the caber.", "id": 14939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "As they walked o'er the fair Kentish Weald,\nA young woman said, \"Winston, I yield.\"\nBut the old bulldog said,\n\"I don't mind it abed,\nBut never, my dear, in the field.\"", "id": 14940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "A leprechaun, Seamus O'Edilf,\nHad a lisping half-brother named Wilf.\nSeamus read him a slick\nBut obscene limerick.\nSaid Wilf, \"That is absolute filf.\"", "id": 14941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Ensign Full, as he shook like a reed,\nFelt his bladder acceding to need.\nClear across Mobile Bay,\nFolks heard Farragut say:\n\"Damn the torpedoes!  Full's peed!\"", "id": 14942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Young Adams did not his words mince. He\nDenounced folks with frequency, since he\nGrew frightfully mad\nWhen confused with his dad,\nYelling, \"Pa was plain John. I'm John Quincy.\"", "id": 14943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "For all that I crawl and I grovel,\nNo agent will look at my novel.\nThe advice from my spouse\nIs: self-publish in-house\n(Or, given our dwelling, in-hovel).", "id": 14944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Thanks to leaving the tailgate ajar,\nI've a sheep and a goat in my car,\nPlus a thing used for spying\nAnd something for tying.\nEye, kid, ewe, knot.  Look \u2014 there they are!", "id": 14945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "The alchemists claimed to have struck\nOn a way to make gold out of muck.\nThey called it transmuting,\nBut I call it shooting\nA line that would not fool a duck.", "id": 14946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "What sort of words are taboo\nAnd canoe and bamboo and tattoo?\nAre they anapests? No,\nNot like, say, undergo.\nI think they're four iambs, don't you?", "id": 14947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "\"Shooting apples off somebody's head\nTakes decades of practice,\" Tell said.\n\"This is Son 24;\nI had twenty-three more.\"\nI asked, \"Where are they now?\"  He said, \"Dead.\"", "id": 14948, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "That Tower in Paris is gallic\nAnd quite unashamedly phallic.\nBut the Pisan confection,\nThat tilting erection,\nIs, aptly enough, pure Italic.", "id": 14949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "A problem for people of old\nWas knowing just what they'd been sold.\nThen came Archimedes.\nNow all that you need is\nA bath to be sure that it's gold.", "id": 14950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "\"A rose is a rose is a rose...\",\nGertrude Stein wrote, as everyone knows.\nWe are all what we are,\nBe it char, star or Tsar.\nIt shows more with a rose, I suppose.", "id": 14951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "When the Alles he thought he was \u00dcber\nClosed in on one A. Schickelgr\u00fcber,\nHe said: \"Sod the Big Three.\nArgentina for me\nIn a U-Boat I've fitted with Sc\u00fcba.\"", "id": 14952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "The planets, 'twas thought, circled round,\nCreating a musical sound.\nEven though this is really an\nAristotelian\nNotion, it's hardly profound.", "id": 14953, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Mrs. Arnold was furious when\nHer young son let her down once again.\nShe said, \"I'm disgusted.\nYou just can't be trusted.\nLord, what will become of you, Ben?\"", "id": 14954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "If you look at an arrow askew\nIt resembles a baton or cue.\nSeen straight-on it is not\nA lot more than a dot.\nThis is known as King Harold's Eye View.", "id": 14955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Lady Astor said, \"Winston, you're tight.\"\nChurchill, smiling, said, \"Nancy, you're right.\"\nHe then added smugly,\n\"I'm drunk and you're ugly.\nBut I'll sober up overnight.\"", "id": 14956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "When reading Jane Austen, I feel\nShe's excessively chaste and genteel.\nThough I like her a lot,\nHot 'n' sexy she's not.\nOh, if only Liz Bennet would peel!", "id": 14957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Philosophical axioms, though deft,\nAre often of wisdom bereft.\nJe pense, donc je suis\nSounds plumb crazy to me.\nWere it true, there'd be few of us left.", "id": 14959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "I like films with a moral that's plain:\nVirtue triumphs; the baddies are slain.\nMinor stars play a thief\nAnd an Indian chief,\nAnd John Wayne plays John Wayne once again.", "id": 14960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "The bagpipes of Edinburgh skirled.\nThe clansmen in tartan kilts twirled.\n\"Scots Wha Ha'e,\" they were yell'n\nTo welcome McGellan,\nThe Jock who first sailed round the world.", "id": 14961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Here's a puzzle to bandy about.\nGiven what he exhales through his snout,\nA dragon could handle\nIgniting a candle.\nBut how would he blow the thing out?", "id": 14962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seanahan", "limerick": "The director of improv was miffed\nAt the man who said \"um\" when he riffed.\n\"Just say something glib!\nHurry up and ad lib!\nOr your prospects will soon be adrift.\"", "id": 14963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jeff Russell", "limerick": "Her eyes shine like heaven's stars sparkle,\nTheir colour so grand and monarchal;\nHer purplish eye\nI would liken to dye,\nThe eye-likened lichen-dye, archil.", "id": 14964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale and matthewg", "limerick": "When the absence of motion and heat,\nWithout question, is really complete,\nIt's absolute zero,\nAs low as can be low,\nThe final entropic defeat.", "id": 14965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Matt Schweizer and David Schildkret", "limerick": "From Hades' dark, fearsome abyss\nBeckons Avarice who, with her kiss,\nSeeks to scorch with the fire\nOf greedy desire\nAnd hinder your journey towards bliss.", "id": 14966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Matt Schweizer and Workshop", "limerick": "Agar-agar's in vegan dessert,\nAnd for thickening food so it's pert.\nMake a soy cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e\nTo make guests say \"Hooray!\"\nThough it's algae, they still might convert.", "id": 14967, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a modern abortionist, one\nFinds one's day is not brimful of fun:\nThere's the death of a fetus\n(A solemn quietus),\nAnd \"Watch it! That guy's got a gun!\"", "id": 14968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey and Qermaq", "limerick": "Buildings burn, so we're all in a plight.\nFireproof lining would make it all right,\nBut asbestos is bad,\nSo what else can be had?\nFrom South Africa comes amosite.", "id": 14969, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Rose Nunez", "limerick": "Ancientry hangs in the air,\nAnd the shattered stone face wears a stare.\nWaves of sand rolling past,\nWithout pause, deep and vast,\nLost in time.  Worn away.  Nothing there.", "id": 14970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lostock Hall", "limerick": "Creationists flatly say, \"We\nDon't have apes in our family tree.\nWe are fully resolved\nThat we haven't evolved\nFrom some anthropoid state.\"  I agree.", "id": 14972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "On the subject of hearts, be advised\nThat some dark ones are often disguised\nBy a manner or smile,\nOr some clothes. All the while,\nTheir true darkness is not advertised.", "id": 14973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Workshop", "limerick": "\"I have an announcement to make,\"\nSaid the cop (though he'd made a mistake).\n\"I inform with regrets\nThat our own New York Jets\nHave today been consumed by a snake!\"", "id": 14974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "When one looks for a snack that will please\nIn the Czech town of Karlsbad, he sees\nThey sure know what to do\nWith the milk of a ewe:\nThey produce the sharp Abertam cheese.", "id": 14975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "The \"acanthocephalous look\"\n(In a styling gel's Best Uses book)\nShows coiffures that are spiny,\nLike a porcupine's heinie,\nOn the head of what must be a schnook.", "id": 14976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Let us brachiate, sirs, if you please;\nThat is, swing by our arms through the trees.\nIf Cheetah could do it\nThere can't be much to it\u2014\nA cakewalk for most chimpanzees.", "id": 14977, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's acroparesthesia, which\nCan produce pins and needles, or itch,\nIn each finger and toe\nWhere the nerve endings go\nAnd the muscles can spasm or twitch.", "id": 14978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A man with a bark may remark\nThat from bark he had fashioned his ark.\nHe'll embark (and not park)\nWithout sound, in the dark\nIf his poodles agree not to bark.", "id": 14979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My mother once said, \"In a pinch\nYou should never give athletes an inch,\nOr they'll sure take a foot!\"\nBut this question I put:\n\"Who would want athlete's foot?\" (with a flinch).", "id": 14980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At his office, I'd knock and then enter\nThe lair of my botany mentor\nWhen I felt at a loss.\n\"What's anticous mean, boss?\"\n\"In a flower, it's 'pointing toward center.'\"", "id": 14981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Your flying was great: it's outstanding\nYou got past that badland, commanding\nUs down, unexploded,\nIn flat, uneroded\nTerrain for a safe belly-landing.", "id": 14982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Some grammarians may be perturbed\nIf you noun when you ought to have verbed,\nAnd your readers will weary o'\nGross anthimeria;\nWhen you English, it's best if it's curbed.", "id": 14983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Michelangelo knew cherubim\nHave more faces than bright seraphim.\nHow ironic (or stupid)\nTo substitute Cupid\nFor angel forms, thus to blaspheme.", "id": 14984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Alces alces (in Latin and Greek)\nIs an elk (in Teutonical-speak).\nNaticks used the word moos,\n\"One that strips the bark loose.\"\nAlces moose is a species unique.", "id": 14985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "We use numerous things to attach\nThings that break, like a rubbery patch\nOr some glue or some string,\n'Cause we all tend to cling\nTo those heirlooms that fate tries to snatch.", "id": 14986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A base or a number that's raised\nTo an integer leaves me unfazed.\nWhen the exponent's n,\nI can solve it by pen\u2014\nWith a fraction, I tend to get dazed.", "id": 14987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When your brain waves are purring along\nAnd your heart beats in time with a song,\nYou'll be happy to know\nThat these cadences show\nThat your biorhythmicity's strong.", "id": 14988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I perform acrobatics on high.\nLoop the loop through the air, how I fly!\nWith the greatest of ease,\nI can do as I please\nOn the rope and trapeze\u2014even die.", "id": 14989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bandog strikes fear with its howls\nAnd when guarding its post, fiercely growls.\nIf one's challenging you,\nDo you know what to do?\nHey, you may lose control of your bowels.", "id": 14991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When we started discussing the deal,\nHe offered a bankerly spiel,\nSaying interest, compounded,\nWould leave me astounded.\nI asked myself, \"Is he for real?\"", "id": 14992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Alcides was fearless and strong,\nAnd his feats often righted a wrong,\nKnown as Hercules, same\nAs Greek Herakles\u2014name\nThat's exalted in story and song.", "id": 14993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the army camp, soldiers would scuffle,\nWhen the men, reassigned in a shuffle,\nDisagreed without tact\nOver what they had packed.\nSome said barracks bag; others said duffel.", "id": 14994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's arcane, but I've written my thesis\nOn anserine-type anuresis\n(Lack of pee in the goose).\nAre there others abstruse\nAs \"Acute Anuresis in Geese\" is?", "id": 14995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her performance last night was fantastic.\nBy turns she was sweet and sarcastic.\nShe emoted and quipped,\nAnd without any script!\nIt was utterly autoschediastic.", "id": 14996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now I'm aging; my pains all combine,\nIn my knees and my hips and my spine.\nThough it may sound nostalgic\nTo seek an antalgic\u2014\nA painkiller\u2014that would be fine.", "id": 14997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The apartments have just gone on sale\nAnd I'll buy one today without fail.\nThen we'll have an address\nThat is sure to impress\nThe guy who delivers our mail.", "id": 14998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Growing older and older, I yearn\nTo hold on to the facts that I learn.\nAll the terms I forget,\nNames and places, are yet\nJust abeyant, until they return.", "id": 14999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I bodysurf down at the shore,\nI wear sun block.  What helps even more\nIs my suit made of armor\u2014\nThough hardly a charmer\u2014\nWithout it my belly gets sore.", "id": 15000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They should give me a medal in bronze\nFor knowing the meaning of bonze.\nNot a fool or a drunk,\nHe's a Far Eastern monk,\nAnd a robe colored saffron he dons.", "id": 15001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many arrow loops set in the wall\nOf his castle, with archers on call\nTo the will of their liege,\nMade it likely a siege\nWouldn't cause the earl's castle to fall.", "id": 15002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "While cotton is sold by the bale,\nBy the pint we acquire our ale.\nBy the pair we buy shoes\nAnd\u2014what else comes in twos?\u2014\nBy the brace we may purchase our quail.", "id": 15003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Actinodermatitis? Sensation\nOf burning and skin inflammation?\nPlease make an appointment\nTo get the right ointment.\nThe cause of this rash?  Radiation.", "id": 15004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My dad was a Yankee named Jess,\nBut I grew up in Amsterdam.  Yes,\nI speak English and Dutch,\nWhich I like very much.\nI'm bilingual, it's easy to guess.", "id": 15005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Called animism, it's the belief\nThat a tree can know joy and feel grief,\nEven stones can have wishes;\nEven glassware, or dishes;\nTo say nothing of mutton or beef.", "id": 15006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her bitterness showed as she wrote\nTo the host of the cruise, in a note.\nFore and aft, at each turn,\nShe'd been pawed bow and stern,\nAnd amidships\u2014all over the boat.", "id": 15007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Sally showed off her ring with great mirth.\n\"It's the loveliest diamond on earth!\"\nBut her boyfriend had lied,\nAnd the jeweler replied,\n\"It's a brummagem, lacking in worth.\"", "id": 15008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My garden's in need of some planting.\nIt's muggy outside; that I'm granting.\nIf my quick respiration\nBecomes anhelation,\nFeel free to observe that I'm panting.", "id": 15009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My wife baked a lovely batard\nFor the barbecue out in our yard.\nIf you look at the menu,\nThink bastard\u2014why, then you\nWill feel that the meal's  avant-garde.", "id": 15010, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All my friends make their livings as baymen,\nSelf-employed, not-for-regular-pay men.\nThey work hard every day\nRaking clams from the bay,\nAnd at night when they play, they're risqu\u00e9 men.", "id": 15011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An athlete is someone you meet\nWho is strong and well muscled and fleet.\nWith the talent he's got\nHe is certainly not\nJust a person who has athlete's feet.", "id": 15012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She's competing in shot put, and hurls\nA great throw. As her body uncurls,\n\"Attaboy!\" someone calls,\nBut encouragement falls\nOn deaf ears, 'cause she's one of the girls.", "id": 15013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An antephialtic, it seems,\nCan protect against nightmarish dreams.\nI will sleep through the night\nWithout waking in fright\u2014\nNo more terrors or ear-piercing screams.", "id": 15014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You've been asked to go see an avoyer;\nYou surely don't want to annoy her.\nIt's best not to agitate\nThis Swiss Canton magistrate,\nSo always appear with your lawyer!", "id": 15015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm an arctophile.  Can you discover\nWhat I am? No, I'm not one to hover\nAbove the North Pole\nNor old Noah extol;\nWhat I am is a teddy-bear lover.", "id": 15016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All my buddies said, \"Try almond milk!\nIt's delicious; its texture's like silk.\"\nI believed in them, but\nAfter squeezing a nut\nFelt betrayed by false friends and their ilk.", "id": 15017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Toward Rosina, his dutiful spouse,\nAlmaviva behaves like a louse\nIn  The Marriage of Fig-\naro, acts like a pig,\nChasing every last skirt in the house.", "id": 15018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Toby Belch speaks of cakes and of ale\nIn a comic Shakespearean tale.\nShould you take much too much\nOf the cakes, ale, and such,\nYou'll produce a great belch without fail.", "id": 15019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her dentist is making a sheath\nThat she'll wear, with her tongue tucked beneath,\nIn her mouth when she's sleeping\u2014\nFor bruxism\u2014keeping\nMy daughter from grinding her teeth.", "id": 15020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His play offered scenes that were amatory,\nPlayed in costumes he feared were inflammatory.\nCould the public admire\nSuch see-through attire?\nTheir reaction was wholly acclamatory!", "id": 15021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A common adult diagnosis\nIs cardiac atherosclerosis.\nFrom the time folks are little,\nTheir vessels grow brittle\u2014\nAnd a lot get a clot, or thrombosis.", "id": 15022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the journals I've spilled lots of ink\nOn the anthropopithecus. Think\nOf this hominid who\nWas our ancestor\u2014you\nMight describe him as the missing link.", "id": 15023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Joyner", "limerick": "The aide, as the policy tanks,\nIs protecting the president's flanks.\nThroughout the big tent,\nThere will be no dissent \u2014\nHe'll be sacked if he ever breaks ranks!", "id": 15024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When two lines in 3-D don't connect,\nYou have one of two terms to select.\nAre they parallel? No?\nSo what name to bestow?\nThey're agonic; they don't intersect.", "id": 15026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Turn the clock back, some 9,000 years.\nFirst one glacier just disappears,\nThen the trees start to grow\nWhere there used to be snow;\nIt's the Boreal time, give three cheers!", "id": 15027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells and Ulfras", "limerick": "In his bathhouse the old man has toys\u2014\nRubber duckies and boats he deploys\nIn defense of the drains;\nIt's the place he maintains\nHis escape to the land of Lost Boys.", "id": 15028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Said a wide-smiling guy named McGlynn:\n\"There ain't nothin' as good as a twin.\"\nEvery day he would stride\nWith a dame on each side\nWhile sporting a very broad grin.", "id": 15029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Brede is archaic, a noun\nFor \"embroidery, braid\" \u2014 and a town\n(Okay, village) near Rye\nIn East Sussex. That's why\nRumer Godden has Brede in her crown.", "id": 15030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although \"Vengeance is mine,\" said the Lord,\nYou're tied up in the back of my Ford.\nAs a dealer, you see,\nYou will answer to me,\nWhile your prayers to the Lord are ignored.", "id": 15031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She's a hooker but, still, I don't judge her.\nHer fee I would never begrudge her.\nSo sweetly she hugged me,\nThen her \"manager\" mugged me.\nShe's nice but watch out for her bludger.", "id": 15032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On the farm, there were numerous folk\nWho confused me whenever they spoke.\nOne fellow said he\nOwned a big \"acorn tree\".\nI was later to learn he meant \"oak\".", "id": 15033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She is gracious and graceful and smart,\nAnd in China our love had its start.\nIn the capital city,\nI'm singing this ditty:\n\"Beijing Went the Strings of My Heart.\"", "id": 15034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "Two stacked sets of wings makes a biplane;\nA third on the top makes a triplane.\nBut to stack 'em ten high?\nI don't think that'll fly.\nIt's a CAD cut-and-paste-gone-awry plane.", "id": 15035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My girlfriend is probably cuter\nThan my brand new, high-powered computer.\nStill, I kicked the girl out\n(Yes, I know, I'm a lout).\nShe came back \u2014 guess I'll need to re-boot her.", "id": 15036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Callistemon, or bottlebrush, trees\nDon't push up the pavement, and ease\nThe creation of cracks\nIn the sidewalk. An axe\nCan be used if they're making you sneeze.", "id": 15037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and eris8x6", "limerick": "Agent Orange strips leaves from a tree\nWith the herbicide 2,4,5-T,\nBut its trace of dioxin\u2014\nA chemical toxin\u2014\nIs linked to the lethal big C.", "id": 15038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "That starbursting bloomer, boltonia,\nWill cheer even those with pneumonia;\nThough false as an aster,\nIt's true it spreads faster\nThan Granny's old waxy begonia.", "id": 15039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Does your bedmate incessantly snore,\nSo that sometimes you want to make war?\nThen he/she's adenoidal\nAnd if not destroyed'll\nEnd up in a bedroom next door.", "id": 15040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In one amnion, Baby begins\nTo develop; and how Momma grins\nWhen the sonogram spies\nIn the womb a surprise!\nThe two amnia means she has twins.", "id": 15041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a man's done you wrong, you accuse\nHim of cheating, deceit, or a ruse.\nBut don't sell the guy short;\nIf you bring him to court\nAnd your foe countersues, you may lose.", "id": 15042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blind gut is a term for the cecal-\nType pouch off your colon, where fecal\nMaterial's lonely,\nWith one outlet only;\nIt fills and gets sticky, like treacle.", "id": 15043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Sure it's tough!\" my professor confirms,\n\"To learn Botany, memorize terms\nLike ambigenous (or\nDual natured), but you're\nFree to switch to the study of worms.\"", "id": 15044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandfather posed me a riddle,\n\"What's curvy but slim in the middle,\nAnd sings when you pluck it?\"\nI guessed, but (my luck!) it\nWas meant to describe a bass fiddle.", "id": 15045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "An artist who's truly inspired\nIs a person I've always admired.\nWhen he uses his heart\nWhile creating his art,\nThen my deepest respect he's acquired.", "id": 15046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "At the table a boarding house reach\nIsn't something good parents will teach.\nOther guests will conclude\nYour behavior's quite rude:\nOf good manners a serious breach.", "id": 15047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a vessel showed early necrosis,\nIn my brain there occurred a thrombosis.\nNow I writhe like a worm.\nWhat's the medical term?\nA dystonia, called athetosis.", "id": 15048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Black-capped, so I'd heard, was a word\nThat referred to a chickadee bird,\nOr a gnatcatcher. Why\nDo they say it means Dye,\nWho's a flycatcher, coming up third?", "id": 15049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Take oatmeal and wheat, briskly mix it\u2014\nMmm... angel bread's how she depicts it.\nDoes your abdomen ache?\nThen her purgative cake,\nWith some spurge and some ginger, will fix it.", "id": 15050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Add to ambreic acid a base,\nAnd an ambreate's left in its place.\nThat's a salt\u2014in a niche\nNext to ambrein, which\nIs a fragrance perfumers embrace.", "id": 15051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The judicial award that I fought\nFor was modest, or that's what I thought,\nBut the court wasn't swayed.\nThe adjudgment it made\nCame up short of the money I'd sought.", "id": 15052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the will's being read, there are stares\nFrom the relatives, caught unawares.\nI bequeath to my sons\nAll my terrible puns.\n(Even dead, I'm still putting on heirs.)", "id": 15053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A booze-bingeing Martian mammalian\nWho's running for mayor says daily in\nSpeeches that we\nOughta join in his spree.\nHere's his pitch: \"Vote for me! Back an alien!\"", "id": 15054, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Informed that the lust on her face\nWas not apropos for a race,\nCatherine sneered, \"Don't be cocky!\nI don't want the jockey.\nHis steed has more bearing and grace!\"", "id": 15055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Hollywood star was extolled in\nThe flicks as a boy who was golden.\nI'm indebted today\nIn this verse, by the way,\nFor his name. He'll be billed and beholden.", "id": 15056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bioresearch on animals takes\nLots of moxie these days 'cause it makes\nCertain activists mad.\nWith their antics, they've had\nMany scientists hitting the brakes.", "id": 15057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the temperature plummets, a fur\nIs considered by dames de rigueur.\nA chinchilla or mink\nKeeps them toasty, I think,\n'Cause you never hear any say \"Brrrr!\"", "id": 15058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Hearing cops, I did something quite rash\u2014\nWent and buried my cannabis cache.\nCan't remember, alas,\nWhere I hid it, and grass\nMakes a biodegradable stash!", "id": 15059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A waiter in China, Pu Lee,\nNow awaits by his postbox with three\nLittle letters to mail,\nBut he's destined to fail,\nSince Pu Lee's missed the postman, you see.", "id": 15060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The right to abort, to my dread,\nIs at risk from appointments ahead.\nWill the Court and Supremes\nMove to right-wing extremes?\nOne pro-lifer and Roe v. Wade's dead.", "id": 15061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a hen from Bilbao with no legs; it\nCan't roost very well, so it begs: It\nAsks people to brood\nOn its chicks\u2014very shrewd.\nIt has put all its Basques in one egg-sit.", "id": 15062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It appears that Vice President Cheney\nLikes Arabs both clever and zany.\nOne wag from a state\nOn the Gulf near Kuwait\nSays that's Cheney's innately Bahraini.", "id": 15063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "'Twas alleged that a crime was committed,\nAnd a formal complaint was submitted,\nBut the court disagreed\nAnd the jury took heed,\nSo the suspect was thereby acquitted.", "id": 15064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "In a club in the forties he sat\u2014\nOf those swingers, the funkiest cat.\nHe would play bebop jazz,\nSoulful, rhythmic pizzazz.\nMan, that bebopper never played flat.", "id": 15065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I'm a line astro-gazers define:\nHorizontally placed, by design.\nAny stars that you see\nThat you find along me\nTo the same almucantar align.", "id": 15066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Apocynthion speaks of the spot\nWhere we orbit the moon and we're caught\nJust as far as can be\nFrom its center and see\nThat it's made of green limburger\u2014NOT!", "id": 15067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Quasimodo was tolling and fell\nTo the street with a boing, I hear tell.\nWhat a sound! Gather round!\nWho's that man on the ground?\nI've a hunch that his face rings a bell.", "id": 15068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Agonizingly slow is the drip\nOf the faucet; it's making me flip.\nI'm conceding defeat\nTo the torturous beat.\n(I'm a plumber who's losing his grip.)", "id": 15069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In 52 pickup (the game),\nMaking fun of your brother's the aim.\nThrow the cards on the floor,\nThen inform him his chore\nIs the clean-up or taking the blame.", "id": 15070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "There was Conan, dark hero of Howard,\nWho was bowelless in war\u2014not a coward.\nThis consummate thief\nShowed no pity or grief\nAs he pillaged and robbed and devoured.", "id": 15071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "To regain his cognition he battled,\nBut the thoughts in his head simply rattled.\n\"I'm ruined,\" he wailed;\n\"My theory has failed.\"\nThis scholar was woefully addled.", "id": 15072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ulfras and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Pachydermal police on the beat\nHave no stealth, but remain kinda neat\u2014\nBut beware above all\nAny APB call\n(All-points bulletin) when underfeet!", "id": 15073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your bandwagon gathers recruits,\nLike a haywagon's harvest pursuits.\nYou're collecting not grasses,\nBut support from the masses,\nMaking hay at the local grass roots.", "id": 15074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When I woke with a feeling of dread,\nI was sitting bolt upright in bed.\nI'd been trapped underground\u2014\nCouldn't breathe\u2014but I found\nThat the nightmare was all in my head.", "id": 15075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In the woods I stood watching a doe,\nMy movements deliberately slow.\nWhen I saw the gap narrow,\nI selected an arrow\nAnd silently drew back the bow.", "id": 15076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Said Catherine, \"My dear, let's not falter.\nJust gallop me straight to the altar.\nPray don't be a stranger;\nLet me share your manger.\nI'm yours, darling\u2014reins, bit and halter!\"", "id": 15077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I'm afraid of my mother's reproach;\nLost her pin (it's a decorative broach).\nI have failed, though I tried,\nTo confess and confide.\nBut I can't find a broach broaching coach.", "id": 15078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In this coupe rode my very first date;\n44 in a year, it's a crate.\nBye-bye, Delta! It's time\nFor the junkyard, so I'm\n86ing my Olds 88.", "id": 15079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some people can't handle their liquor\u2014\nTwo drinks and they're ready to bicker.\n\"Your wife, I avow,\nIs an insufferable cow!\"\n\"That's it.  No more wine for you, Vicar.\"", "id": 15080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gumby and Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "When aiming for fortune and fame,\nIt helps to adopt a big name.\nThough Tom Cruise is quite short,\nHe had longer support:\nLafayette Ronald Hubbard's to blame.", "id": 15081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If the liquid goes down the wrong way\nAnd you're choking and gasping, we say\nFluid's aspirated, and\nI can well understand,\nSuch a seizure can ruin one's day.", "id": 15082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "His breakdown truck broke through a brake \u2014\nThat's a thicket \u2014 then crashed in Quack Lake.\n\"I feel like a jerk,\nBut my brakes didn't work,\"\nHe explained to a terrified drake.", "id": 15083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Discovering farming was sweet,\nPlanting barley, potatoes, and wheat.\nAgriculture's creation\nIncreased population\nAnd gave us all something to eat.", "id": 15085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I went ass-over-apex,\" I grumble.\nThat kind of a fall makes you humble.\nPeople think I'm a goof?\nWell, I just gave them proof\nAfter such a spectacular tumble.", "id": 15086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "You've a fluid, like somebody drinks,\nOr like sewage that patently stinks;\nJust put to avail an\nAreometer's scale, an'\nThat helps you find out if it sinks.", "id": 15088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There once was a man from Milan\nWho saw hexagons hither and yon.\nThere were pentagons, too,\nDuodeca's, a few,\n'Til one night, he, in fright, yelled, \"Begone!\"", "id": 15089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Le Mus\u00e9e showed concern; they were driven\nBy the fear of another limb riven.\nAnd so to make peace,\nVenus signed a release\nAs \"Old Armless\", the name she'd been given.", "id": 15090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE and mike scholtes", "limerick": "Those folks who behave atheistically\nWill tell you they live realistically.\nTo attend to one's self,\nNot to angel, nor elf,\nIs the game that they play egotistically.", "id": 15091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The bitch at the bar tells you, \"Mate,\nMy barbiturate keeps you sedate.\nSo you'll favor me, please,\nWhen we score the wet T's.\"\n(The bar bitch you rate maybe an eight.)", "id": 15092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "If you're spending a week in Granada,\nAnd you feel like a baked enchilada\nSince the sun is so hot,\nJust be grateful you're not\nIn the beastlier heat of Nevada.", "id": 15094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I would never cause pain to a llama\nNor to cattle we know as the brahma,\nFor karma, to me\n(And you may disagree),\nMeans that brahma just might be yo' mama.", "id": 15095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a Japanese jockey\nWhose home was in Amagasaki,\nBut he found that his horse\nCouldn't keep to the course,\n\"So perhaps,\" he declared, \"I'll try hockey.\"", "id": 15096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a female, there isn't a hope\nThat I'll ever be chosen as pope;\nSo I'm mad at the church,\nAs I'm left in the lurch.\nAntipapal, I sit here and mope.", "id": 15097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biopolymers form in your system;\nWhen needed, your muscles enlist 'em.\nThey're glucose and starches\u2014\nOn long-distance marches,\nYour body will know if it's missed 'em.", "id": 15098, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antinuclear people demand\nWe remove all the nukes from our land.\nBoth the weapons and plants\nAre attacked in these rants,\nBut I doubt there's a chance they'll be banned.", "id": 15099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "My bed table's where I keep books\nWhen I'm gripped by insomnia's hooks.\nStuff to scan, stuff to read,\nStuff for \"doing the deed\"\nCan be found in its crannies and nooks.", "id": 15100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If galactic astronomer Arp\nTried to photograph fashion, he'd harp\nOn his film's high acutance\nAnd tell his disputants\nHe's making the clothing look sharp.", "id": 15101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Perhaps it was hit-by-a-train death,\nOr too-dumb-to-come-out-of-the-rain death.\nNo matter the cause,\nAny surgeon should pause\nBefore harvesting, checking for brain death.", "id": 15102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some people have certain proclivities\nThat lead to forbidden activities.\nThen the rest have a choice:\nTo their doubts giving voice\nOr deciding to join the festivities.", "id": 15103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Bad Baldrick's a bold balistarius.\nThe objects he aims at are various.\nYou crossed him? Oh my!\nHe's a cross crossbow guy\u2014\nHold on to your life, it's precarious.", "id": 15104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Her e-mail said, \"Come drink some beer,\nGet a meal, and have fun over here\nIn my new brasserie.\"\nI was quick to agree\n'Cause I thought she'd mistyped \"new brassiere.\"", "id": 15105, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Does the sea rise and fall with the tide?\nThat it does is a fact not denied.\nBut for points amphidromic\nThis statement is comic\nFor there's no rise or fall to be spied.", "id": 15106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The home team is gonna get trounced;\nJust this moment, the umpire announced\nThat the manager, pitcher,\nAnd infielders which're\nOut fighting are gonna get bounced.", "id": 15107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Bivariate analysis yields\nCorrelation twixt two different fields\nIn a system's statistics.\n(Ignore the logistics!\nConsider the power it wields!)", "id": 15108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Little Goldilocks, fond of pozole,\nStarted sleepwalking, dreaming of mole.\nThen she woke, to her dread,\nWith three bears in a bed,\nAnd nothing to eat but atole.", "id": 15109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In our anthropo-(human)-centricity,\nWe assume, in self-centered simplicity,\nThat we own the whole Earth,\nAnd for all that it's worth,\nWe'll exploit it, ignoring toxicity.", "id": 15111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "stephenc", "limerick": "The brigandage of our fair city\nWas declared by the census \"most witty.\"\nOne begged, \"If you'd please,\nSpare some change\u2014and your keys!\"\nAnd drove off, leaving only a chitty.", "id": 15112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In apprenticeships, people who train,\nBut from formalized studies abstain,\nAre by articling bound\nWhile their set years amound,\nThen the status of journeymen gain.", "id": 15113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Those Muppets-type puppets can't act\nAs though Piggie and Frog vows are fact.\n\"Pro-meat\" can't wed \"veg\";\nIf antimisceg-\nenation rules, likes must attract.", "id": 15114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're hearing-impaired, no apology\nIs required; consult the anthology\nOf professions for one\nThat tests hearing \u2014 it's done\nBy those licensed to do audiology.", "id": 15115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amorphousness isn't a trait\nThat I look for in choosing a date\nFor a dance;  but I'm blue\n'Cause my thesis is due\u2014\nAs for that date: amorphousness?  Great!", "id": 15116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bandleader plays at a dance,\nWith his orchestra, tunes of romance,\nWhile a bandmaster's hand\nLeads a milit'ry band;\nTaking one for the other? Fat chance!", "id": 15117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Baked Alaska once just meant dessert.\nNow it's feared that the Earth has been hurt.\nIce caps melt; global warming\nKeeps glaciers from forming.\nCan Ketchikan catch torrid dirt?", "id": 15118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Mouse-eared cresses called Arabidopsis\nThaliana are famed\u2014my synopsis:\nOf plant genomes they placed\nAs the first to be traced\nAnd suck toxins\u2014reverse thanatopsis.", "id": 15119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Bacille Calmette-Gu\u00e9rin (BCG),\nA vaccine, protects kids from TB.\nBovine mycobacterium\nSets up cell's mysterium:\nWhen altered, immune to a T.", "id": 15120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Along Lake Artemesia, one June\nSultry Sunday in late afternoon,\nFurry beavers swam up\nAnd bit blossoms to sup,\nFrom the shallows Nymphaea festoon.", "id": 15121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Along freshwater wetlands dispersed,\nA blue flag is an iris emersed,\nAlso called fleur-de-lis.\nBlue flag also can be\nA clean beach, Scottish saltire, de-versed.", "id": 15122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Our binoculars stowed at the third watch,\nWe drove east to \"pelagics-assured\" watch.\nJaeger, petrel, and tern\nJoined our bird-watch to learn\nHow to peer through my saltspray-obscured watch.", "id": 15123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the fifties, most laundry was white.\nWringer washing machines squeezed it tight:\nWash in soapy solution,\nWring, clear-rinse ablution,\nWring, bluing to keep the whites bright.", "id": 15124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Black raspberry canes climb a hill\nFrom their source at the edge of a rill.\nFragrant purple-black thimbles\nTheir picker benimbles\nFor blackcap taste gives her a thrill.", "id": 15125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the first killing frost fell last night,\nMy tomato vine shrunk from its might.\nNow a black withered blastie,\nCells blasted and nasty,\nThe vine weeps its last at first light.", "id": 15126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am guilty, with no explanation,\nOf committing a gross violation,\nSo I'm singing the blues\u2014\nThe detergent I use\nIsn't subject to biodegradation.", "id": 15127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When amaranth flowers are seeding\nThey engender hay fever.  Keep weeding\nThis plant that's to blame\nAnd has many a name,\nAmong which is this: love-lies-bleeding.", "id": 15128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An ash can's a garbage receptacle,\nSo please pardon me if I'm skeptical\u2014\nWhat is called Ashcan art,\nAs a genre apart,\nSeems both trashy and truly dyspeptical.", "id": 15129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The bearing walls always are found\n'Tween the upper floors' weight and the ground.\nSet at ninety degrees\nTo the rafters' line, these\nKeep the  building from being unsound.", "id": 15130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This limerick's bad, but, good grief,\nI'm expecting a sense of relief\nThat as verse after verse\nGoes from rotten to worse,\nIt is blessedly gonna be brief.", "id": 15131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "While you fished with the nets you had sewed,\nFerried wares with the sea as your road,\nGood behavior you saw\nWas from inter-net law:\nThe informal Amalphitan Code.", "id": 15132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To assess: to determine how much,\nLike commodities, trouble, and such.\nOf great wealth, want a lot;\nOf distress, want it not.\nAh, consider poor Midas's touch.", "id": 15133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "He's aflame and completely afire\u2014\nSo wildly in love he'll conspire\nTo acquire his great fancy,\nBut his dear, darling Nancy\nWants none of his fiery desire.", "id": 15134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If our fields were all aquamarine,\nAnd we cows came in pale shades of green\nMixed with hues of light blue,\nPlease vote \"Moo\" if it's true\nWe cud udderly fade from the scene.", "id": 15135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An ox who was feeling anoxic\nHad been shod with a glue too epoxic.\nThe fumes were so toxic\nThe smell made his doc sick.\nThey carried both out in a box sick.", "id": 15136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "On Allhallowmas Day, Christians pray\nTo all saints that we not go astray.\nCongregation and priest\nPraise the Lord on this feast,\nWhile the devil looks on in dismay.", "id": 15137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Obsessive, asocial, near-mute:\nMy son just does not give a hoot.\nThe notion I've gotten\nIs autism's rotten,\nBut he is adorably cute.", "id": 15138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Aper\u00e7us on a mollusk or two\nGot you tenure. Insightful, that's you.\nBut with mammals you lack\nA perceptional knack;\nThat's a rat, not a rat kangaroo.", "id": 15139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "My old apple peeler works great;\nI can skin Granny Smiths by the crate.\nI attract lots of guys\nWith my cobblers and pies,\nThen I drop 'em for putting on weight.", "id": 15140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "\"Away, oh, away with the King!\"\nIs the hymn I am happy to sing,\nThough I'm much of a loyalist\nAnd not antiroyalist,\nWhen the Queen picks me up for a fling.", "id": 15141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "In my heart, thoughts of riches he kindled,\nThen slowly but surely they dwindled.\nThough I bartered and fought,\nThat old badgerer brought\nDown my price\u2014me, the swindler, swindled!", "id": 15142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I claim authorship here on the spot,\nHaving all of this limerick begot.\nIn authority's state\nI might carry more weight,\nBut authoritativeness I've not.", "id": 15143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "What I write with a regular beat\nCan be cut into metrical feet;\nWhen they're anapest then\nI will just start again\nFor my limerick's now quite complete.", "id": 15144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le and Scott Campisi", "limerick": "A shoot of bamboo is incredible.\nIf you slice it and cook it, it's edible.\nOnce it's grown, build a boat\nAnd away you can float\nFrom your life if your wife is unbeddable.", "id": 15145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's the pose of the pooch, downward pup.\nAdho mukha svanasana? Yup.\nHands and feet can be found\nPressing flat on the ground,\nWhile your bottom is sticking straight up.", "id": 15146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He woke up one morning amnesiac\nAfter taking a strong aphrodisiac,\nWithout knowing his name\nPromptly stripped and became\nAn anonymous male Dionysiac.", "id": 15147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bambino is \"babe\" in Italian.\nIn a creche or religious medallion\nIt's the Christ child; in truth,\nFans referred to Babe Ruth\nAs Bambino (but thought him a stallion).", "id": 15148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anticlimax: what's happening next\nWhen the plot hits its apex; the text\nMay collapse with a thud\nTo an end clear as mud,\nAnd the novel will leave you perplexed.", "id": 15149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Work assiduously. That is the best\nWay to study, prepare for a test.\nThough your brain may succumb\nAnd your body go numb,\nYou will come out ahead of the rest.", "id": 15150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "There was a young monk from Bhutan\nWhose robe was in need of a darn.\nHe spun thread off the back\nOf a passing old yak.\nNow there's an improbable yarn.", "id": 15151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A posterior problem horrific\nDeveloped on flights transpacific:\nDue to poor circulation\nMy butt lost sensation\nAnd suffered from bedsores prolific.", "id": 15152, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Consider the small Brussels griffon.\nYou may meet him at luncheon or tiffin\nOn milady's soft lap,\nWhence he issues a yap,\nMaking men feel their follicles stiffen.", "id": 15153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I recently suffered a scare\nAnd have since been beset by despair.\nBut that trend's been reversed,\nAnd I'm over the worst:\nI'll bounce back from this crisis, I swear.", "id": 15154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My collection of records was vast,\nBut in time I lost all I'd amassed.\nSo today, with them gone,\nWhen the radio's on,\nI enjoy hearing blasts from the past.", "id": 15155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "How should anapest now be defined?\nTo instance poor Anna's unkind,\nBut last night, in a bar,\nShe went really too far:\nWe saw anapest out of her mind.", "id": 15156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "\"My first name,\" said Beth, when I met her,\n\"Is simply an alphabet letter\n(Corresponding to B)\nIn Hebrew, you see,\nSo written SIHT EKIL it looks better.\"", "id": 15157, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Bigeminal pulse, that's what some\nPeople have; it goes double (how rum!):\nTwo beats, then a pause.\nBut mine is like yours \u2014\nOEDILFers' hearts beat \"da-da-DUM\".", "id": 15158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Am I dreaming? No, make no mistake:\nThat beta wave can't be a fake.\nMy encephalogram\nSeems to prove that I am\nCompletely alert and awake.", "id": 15159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When we set the Dean's office on fire,\nThe cops brought a large Black Maria\nFor the ride to the station;\nBut to their frustration\nI deflated the offside rear tyre.", "id": 15160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Miss Lopez left Ben; and her halo\nWas slipping a bit, so she lay low.\nNow she's out of the dark\nAnd is making her Marc,\nWho loves Jennifer (a.k.a. J-Lo).", "id": 15161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alcaptonuria? Urine big trouble!\nBetter get to a doc on the double!\nYou're sick\u2014not Al Capp\n(That old comic strip chap\nWho drew shmoos with a lip full of stubble).", "id": 15162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I have come to a sad diagnosis:\nMy marriage has sexual sclerosis.\nThough we share the same bed,\nSeems our sex life is dead\u2014\nAnd she likes this agenobiosis!", "id": 15163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My prize-winning Angus adorns\nThe parades on these bright summer morns.\nAll the trumpeters play\nAs my steer's on display.\n(Yes, I'm taking the bull by the horns.)", "id": 15165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On each molar I've mounted a sheath\nWith a minuscule gun underneath,\nWhile each canine is capped\nWith explosives, then wrapped.\nYou might say that I'm armed to the teeth.", "id": 15166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On managing land, Saudi comics\nTry ribbing Imams and Islamics:\n\"Muhammad moved mountains\nAnd Heaven has fountains,\nBut sand makes for tough agronomics!\"", "id": 15167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The fractures, contusions, and welts\nAre the products of punches and belts.\nA child has been battered;\nThis syndrome has shattered\nHer life, and your heart simply melts.", "id": 15168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The beautiful date on my arm\nI asked out with a \"Hey, where's the harm?\"\nIs as thrilled as can be\nPlaying tenpins with me,\n'Cause I'm bowling her over with charm.", "id": 15169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An apostolate's message is prone\nTo be smug and pietistic in tone\nIn promoting one view\nOf a universe you\nMay suspect is, at best, an unknown.", "id": 15170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "He believes scented hair oil is chic,\nSo he slathers it on to look sleek.\nHe's a brilliantine junkie;\nHis aura is funky.\nAt best, I would call him \"unique\".", "id": 15171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A blue-blooded Briton, Lord Seton,\nMet a red-blooded Yank, name of Beaton.\n\"I'm sorry to preach,\"\nGroused the Brit, \"But your speech!\nAnd I wish you'd use forks when you're eatin'.\"", "id": 15172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"My Sadie, our ways you've forsaken!\nA goy for a husband you've taken?\nNot kosher? A faker?\"\n\"Relax, he's a baker,\nAnd that's why he brings home the bakin'.\"", "id": 15173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I breathe a deep sigh of relief\nWhen an unfunny limerick is brief.", "id": 15174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A boy on my sidewalk in Yonkers\nWould smash all the other boys' conkers\nWith only one chestnut.\nWe called him \"the best nut\"\nBecause he was totally bonkers.", "id": 15175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You are not astigmatic, recall,\nIf your cornea's curved like a ball;\nBut your sight is absurd\u2014\nPartly sharp, partly blurred\u2014\nIf its shape's ellipsoidal at all.", "id": 15176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A beach profile is, please understand,\nUnrelated to girls on the sand\nIn their bright new bikinis\n(Those cloth teenie-weenies);\nIt's the contour where water meets land.", "id": 15177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The aphtha's a little white spot\nIn your mouth. You won't like it a lot.\nYou have thrush (sounds absurd)\u2014\nThe disease, not the bird\u2014\nIt's a fungal infection you've got.", "id": 15178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"Dearest friends; let us dine! As it's said,\nTogether we'll sit and break bread!\"\nThough a meal seemed a nice\nWay of breaking the ice,\nHe served beans; we broke wind there instead.", "id": 15179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Apocynthion: orbit the Moon\nOn a cow. (Don't be landing her soon.)\nThe point in her arc\nThat is highest, you mark\u2014\nThat's the spot!\u2014with a dish and a spoon.", "id": 15180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My uncle was known for his proneness\nTo dress with a grubby windblown-ness.\nHe had little to say,\nAnd preferred to crochet \u2014\nIt's no wonder he suffered aloneness.", "id": 15181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From my mom, it is clear when I'm nude,\nCame the shape of my hips (kind of crude).\nFrom my pop came my hair;\nOn the top I'm quite bare.\nBiparentally, folks, I've been screwed.", "id": 15182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I could eat enough sushi for ten,\nBut I'm jobless and broke once again.\nHell, I'd settle for rice,\nBut I can't pay the price;\nI've a yen, but I don't have a \u00a5.", "id": 15183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I called for my sniffy valet\nTo pour me a good cabernet.\nI sampled. \"This wine\nTastes like lumber. Like pine.\"\nThen he tried. \"No, that's avodir\u00e9.\"", "id": 15184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Your brother's a hell of a skite!\nHe can sing his own praises all night.\nSays his fame is widespread\nFor his record in bed.\"\n\"Oh, he does, does he? Sounds about right.\"", "id": 15186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If we take my new camera from Sears,\nWe can shoot at Sauzon once it clears;\nThen Cancale, by the sea,\nAnd Le Croisic makes three\u2014\nWe'll have photos of Brittany's piers.", "id": 15187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Sneaking past them, I relish the flush\nOf success! Just the threat of a brush\nWith the law is a thrill!!\nThey can't stop me!!! (Whoa\u2014chill.)\nYes, blockade-running gives me a rush.", "id": 15188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These soldiers were fighting a war,\nBut it's clear that they'll battle no more.\nThe body bags full\nOf our patriots pull\nAt our heartstrings and tear at our core.", "id": 15189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "While a blinkard's a person who's slow-\nWitted, stupid, obtuse, so you know\u2014\nI no longer will use\nRusty nails, pins or glues\nFor my hat on the days the winds blow.", "id": 15190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "As a vintner producing fine wine \u2014\nBarrel aging the fruit of the vine \u2014\nKnow the barrel you choose\nCould decide if your booze\nTastes like swill or Ausone '49.", "id": 15191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Well, an angel appeared to this girl\nAnd he said, \"You should sit, you might hurl.\nGive a smile, don't be glum,\n'Cause you're set to become\nMom to Jesus! Just give it a whirl!\"", "id": 15192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The bell tree and mark tree both jingle\nWith their chimes in a bunch, never single.\nBut the bell tree's bells nest\nOn a stick with the rest,\nWhile the mark tree has dowels that dingle.", "id": 15193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In 1773\nBritish tea chests were thrown in the sea \u2014\nA gesture quite lost on\nThe people of Boston\nWho longed for a nice cup of tea.", "id": 15194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A bike boom broke out in the years\nNineteen-seventy plus, which appears\nTo have been a result\nOf the newly adult\nAge of baby boom kids ... and new gears.", "id": 15195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx and mephistopheles", "limerick": "We've just signed a bilateral treaty\nSo we don't go to war with Tahiti.\nWe opt not to invade\nTo secure our joint trade:\nWe'll get coconuts cheap and send ziti.", "id": 15196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When a dowager opts to bepaint,\nIt's apt to create some complaint:\nBold layers of makeup\nMay flake, cake and shake up\nThe passersby\u2014if they don't faint.", "id": 15197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "My son has been labeled autistic.\nTo some he appears narcissistic;\nClues lacking, rules rigid,\nMoods boiling to frigid;\nBut he's mine\u2014not another statistic.", "id": 15198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "An awning of canvas gives shade\nOver windows and doorways of trade.\nThis strong cotton canopy\nShelters a panoply\nOf wares being proudly displayed.", "id": 15199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "\"To Sir Peregrine Wolstenthorpe Bart.\"\nStarts your note that you wrote from the heart.\nDid the baronet style\nFan your love, or his smile?\n'Though he's proved he is not an old fart!", "id": 15200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan M. Guberman", "limerick": "Behind the sun, where we can't scan it,\nThere's a strange hypothetical planet.\nAntichthon, it's called,\nAnd you might be appalled\nWhen you learn that Australians man it!", "id": 15201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The percussionist's really a bummer,\nSince she hates to vacation in summer.\nYou plead and beseech\nTo get Marge to the beach;\nShe's a totally diffident drummer.", "id": 15202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "My old schoolmaster dear, much revered,\nWith moods strange, really odd, but not feared,\nIf you would, please be kind\nTo my tender behind\nAs your cane makes my eyes sadly teared.", "id": 15203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Death du jour is served up by the docs.\n\"It's an astrocytoma? That rocks!\"\nHmmm...a starfish of pain\nSlowly munching my brain?\n\"No, I think I'll just have the French Pox.\"", "id": 15204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Old captains who perished in hassles\nHaunt their quarterdecks wearing gold tassels.\nNowhere else would they be\nBut hereafter at sea,\nSpending afterlives in aftercastles.", "id": 15205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A backslash, a virgule in mirror,\nIs \"escape\", and helps UNIX be clearer.\nBut thanks to Bill Gates,\nIt frustrates our pates:\nIn pathnames it looks all the queerer.", "id": 15206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Gosh, he smells! Too much more I won't bear.\n(Phew!) He stinks to high heaven, I swear.\nCan't he just take a bath?\nHere's a guy\u2014jeez, he hath\nB.O. bigtime and seems not to care!", "id": 15207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ah, to bask in the sun on an isle\nOr in fame's brilliant glare\u2014g'wan, smile;\nAny more you can't ask!\n(M. Ravel, also Basque,\nIs a maestro of musical style.)", "id": 15208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A prostitute, bored of the street,\nDecided she'd hook other meat\nSo she read Izaak Walton;\nNow fish she's assaultin'\u2014\nOnce hooker, now angler compleat.", "id": 15209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "My computer has so many spaces,\nIt could catalogue all human races.\nFor the animals too\n(Fungi may be taboo),\nLet the allocator safely choose places.", "id": 15210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I quit college without an apology;\nI haven't a head for technology.\nI got screaming abdabs\nFrom the chemistry labs,\nHeebie-jeebies from reading biology.", "id": 15211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "King of Syria knows he's been bested.\nDothan's sieged!  Is Elisha arrested?\n\"Lord, please open his eyes.\"\nTo the servant's surprise,\nAll around them is angel-infested.", "id": 15212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "A true astral plane always flies,\nThough not in conventional skies,\nBut with mystical grace\nThrough ethereal space\nIn a deep astrological guise.", "id": 15213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "Facial hair on a lady's fair skin\nI have seen at the circus, wherein\nIt is more than okay\nFor a gal to display\nHairy lip, whiskered cheeks, bearded chin.", "id": 15214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "When beset, back in late 1940,\nBy sortie upon German sortie,\nSaid Churchill, \"No quittin'!\nThis Battle of Britain\nWill teach them to not be so naughty.\"", "id": 15216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Douglas Bader: a top wartime fighter.\nShy two legs, but for this gutsy blighter\nThat just made him an ace;\nHis plane won every chase\n'Cause its pilot was forty pounds lighter.", "id": 15217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "On his left side, the monster Godzilla\nHas a cavernous, gaping axilla:\nAn armpit so wide\nYou could hide right inside\nWith four tanks and a twelve-ship flotilla.", "id": 15218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Says our Kev: \"Antiquarian's sweet!\nIt's the paper that just can't be beat!\nSee, its primary strength\nIs its four-foot-five length:\nGreat for plans (or an improvised sheet)!\"", "id": 15219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "The word ace, for a pilot, conveys\nHe's made forty-two kills on soir\u00e9es.\nWait: soir\u00e9es? I meant sorties;\nAnd not in the forties,\nBut five. Oy, it's one of those days.", "id": 15220, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "To my wife I declared my intent:\nGive up sex on Ash Wednesday for Lent.\nNow the first day was fine,\nBut that day thirty-nine\u2026!\n(We felt guilty, but strangely content.)", "id": 15221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "As an arbiter, I hold no grudge;\nI decide fast, and then I don't budge.\nArbitrariness, mate:\nToss a coin, pick a fate\u2014\nIt's the key to success for a judge.", "id": 15222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mino", "limerick": "Don't you fret about him, mate, no sweat:\nHe's a basket case, buddy, no threat!\nNot just hopeless or dense,\nThe original sense:\nHe's a limbless old World War One vet.", "id": 15223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Adityas are gods of the sun.\nThere are twelve; for each month there is one.\nAditi's their mother\nSo each is a brother;\nIn the Vedas their stories are spun.", "id": 15224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Epididymal arms seem to be,\nToward the vas, like the boughs on a tree.\nThey are aberrant ducts,\nSo my teacher instructs.\nVasa deferens? None I can see!", "id": 15225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A surgeon performing abortion\nFound a rare and severe disproportion\nThat resulted in bleeding;\nHe stopped it, proceeding\nWith a deftly performed acutorsion.", "id": 15226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You're severely depressed now and then;\nCan you stop it from striking again?\nA small yellow pill,\nAmitriptyline, will.\nIt's C20H23N.", "id": 15227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your blood pressure's high as a kite,\nAnd you fear you'll succumb in the night,\nYou need not despair;\nJust seek medical care,\nAnd let Aldomet make it all right.", "id": 15228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It takes one who's truly heroic,\nAnd can live without echoes: a stoic,\nTo get anything done\nIn an office that's run\nIn a room, by design, anechoic.", "id": 15229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was trying to get to Assam,\nBut my  guidebook's disgraceful\u2014a sham.\nThe path leads, I have seen,\nTo a bridgeless ravine,\nSo I guess I will stay where I am.", "id": 15230, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "How the gentlemen always would eye you\nWhen we'd visit that inn on the bayou,\nDown in old Lou'sian'\nWhere one dirty old man\nOffered fifty-five dollars to try you.", "id": 15231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An aril will cover a seed\nTo protect it in times of great need,\nFrom the weather and such,\nBut it doesn't help much\nWhen the herbivores come out to feed.", "id": 15232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Many Bachs were composers, you see,\nFrom J.S. to his son C.P.E.\nJ.C.F. was one too.\n(They disown  P.D.Q.,\nSince he wrote a toccata in Z.)", "id": 15233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "At dusk, his sharp ears and big eyes\nFind him prey as he glides in the skies.\nTito alba's his name.\n(Plain \"Barn Owl\" sounds tame).\nAny wonder we think he is wise?", "id": 15234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I can't think of anything cute\nTo say of the wax-myrtle's fruit.\nAs I don't know its taste\nIt won't add to my waist,\nSo the bayberry's value is moot.", "id": 15235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Her grandfather's scale had its merits \u2014\nHe could measure one hair of Liz Barrett's.\nThe demo had ended;\nThe child apprehended.\n\"But why do we weigh things in carrots?\"", "id": 15236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "When there's only one item, say some,\nAgenda becomes agendum.\nIf the rule here implied\nWere applied far and wide,\nWould an Amazon's bra be a brum?", "id": 15237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For a month after having a stroke,\nI was speech-impaired; it was no joke.\nWith aphemia, I\nBecame flustered and shy;\nAll my thoughts got confused when I spoke.", "id": 15238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Egyptian god known as Osiris\nDecided to write a papyrus\nTo warn us that bugs\nCarry sickness no drugs\nCan repair, if they bear arbovirus.", "id": 15239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Although heroin all should eschew,\nApomorphine's an opiate too.\nWhile the first's anesthetic,\nThe second's emetic;\nDon't try it\u2014you'll barf if you do.", "id": 15240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The size of his skull is decreased;\nHe's anencephalic.  At least\nHe cannot feel pain\nAs he hasn't a brain,\nAnd he'll mercifully soon be deceased.", "id": 15241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her screenplay was written Aquarius-ly,\nFull of characters acting hilariously,\nWhere a boy brings his friend\nPeace and joy by the end,\nAnd we join in the love-fest, vicariously.", "id": 15242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A barranca, a gully that's deep,\nWill have walls that are vertically steep.\nSo take care when you hike,\nUnless Superman-like\nYou can bound to the top in one leap.", "id": 15243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My doc says my chills and anemia\nAre not the result of leukemia.\nA hidden infection's\nThe source of injections\nOf germs into blood (bacteremia).", "id": 15244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My dad, born in Europe, enjoys\nAll the liberties that he employs.\nThough his English was broken,\nRight there in Hoboken\nHe raised four all-American boys.", "id": 15245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Don't anesthetize half of my face\nIf you just cut my gums in one place!\nBut there's no point in urgin'\nMy deaf oral surgeon.\nHis novocaine dose? A disgrace!", "id": 15246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Alkoran, though an English word, can\nBe derived from the words Al Quran,\nWhich is Arabic.  You\nUse Koran\u2014that's fine too\u2014\nIf you need a two-syllable scan.", "id": 15247, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "KeithArcher", "limerick": "Why write this short ditty, you ask,\nWith a pseudonym here as a mask?\nIt's because I'm so witty\n(Not to mention quite pretty),\nAnd to bask in heaped praise is a task.", "id": 15248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I know that the rumors are baseless,\nAnd the people who spread them are faceless,\nBut I heard on the wire\nWhere there's smoke, there's a fire.\nSo darling, I'm forced to be graceless.", "id": 15249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "To blackleg is really not cricket.\nIt's a habit? You really should kick it.\nYou will end in rehab,\nFor they say of a scab:\n\"It'll never get well if you pick it\".", "id": 15250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The brambles, in thickets so serried\nIn my garden, have got me quite worried;\nThough I can't kill their root,\nI can still pick the fruit:\nThey're not dead, but at least they are berried.", "id": 15251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "After drinking my fill of cheap booze,\nI needed to go for a snooze.\nOn the way to my bed,\nI tripped up, hit my head,\nAnd then vomited over my shoes.", "id": 15252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you talk to a mariner boss\nAbout maths, it could just make him cross.\nTry explaining the mean\nAnd he might vent his spleen.\nTo him, you see, average means loss.", "id": 15253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Let's discuss the cute girl of Dubai\nWho was bawdy, yet bashful and shy.\nNot a man the tease met\nSaw her \u2014 [Don't be upset,\nBut they've censored this. Don't ask me why.]", "id": 15254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I was looking to jazz up my biscuit\nWith sauce and a fresh slice of brisket.\nMy wife said, \"But how\nCould you hazard 'mad cow'?\"\nI replied, \"For this treat I shall risk it.\"", "id": 15255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My wife's an alumna of State,\nTalks \"men\" with alumnae, that's great.\nI attended there, too \u2014\nAn alumnus, State U.\nAs alumni, we started to date.", "id": 15256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Jane peered below decks and she thought her\nDad's boat was aslosh.  What a daughter!\nIt looked like a sump,\nSo she bought him a pump\nTo ensure that the bilge not have water.", "id": 15257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In my worklife I never recoil\nFrom a task needing sweat, tears, and toil.\nBut when they complain\nThat a twelve-year-old brain\nCould do better\u2014my blood starts to boil.", "id": 15258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I went out to a vet in Manhasset,\nAnd came home with what looks like a basset.\nWe go walking for sport:\nThough its legs are real short\nIt still takes me an hour to pass it.", "id": 15259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A guy up Ontario way\nSaid, \"The court says you still owe me.  Eh?\"\nI said, \"Don't get upset,\nGo re-read the arr\u00eat \u2014\nThe thing's broken: I don't have to pay.\"", "id": 15260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Which goddess personifies sun,\nThe forebear\u2014since time had begun\u2014\nOf the Emperor's line?\nIn Japan, they opine\nThat Amaterasu's the one.", "id": 15261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "As a man, if you go for a tinkle,\nTake care, so as not to besprinkle\nThe floor or the seat \u2014\nDry for bum, dry for feet.\n(Says my wife: \"Now that is a good wrinkle.\")", "id": 15262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When Jack Aubrey's ship finished a fight,\nHis rigging was in a sad plight:\nThe ropes were all frayed\nIn the bight, where belayed;\nAnd his barque was much worse than his bight.", "id": 15263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "As a doctor, I'm combating  blackwater\n In countries that frequently lack water,\nWhere my skilled ministrations\nSave whole populations;\nBut careerwise, I'm stuck in a backwater.", "id": 15264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When someone imported the blueweed\nTo the US, it grew and it grew; he'd\nHave done better to let it\nAlone where he met it:\nIt's risky to bring in a new weed!", "id": 15265, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Yes, AIDS killed Indira, they said\nOf Ms. Gandhi, but I was misled.\nI had misheard the word,\nFor what really occurred\nWas that two of her aides shot her dead.", "id": 15266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Aboriginal folk from Australia\nWill be perfectly glad to regale ya\nWith the riddles they share.\nCall them \"abos\"? Don't dare;\nIf you use that rude slang, you're a failure.", "id": 15267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If barbiturates happen to keep\nYou entrapped in sedation so deep\nThat a coma's a threat,\nYour physician might get\nAnaleptics to counter the sleep.", "id": 15268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The orchestra couldn't afford\nA conductor, 'cause salaries soared.\nOvercoming resistance\nBrought into existence:\nA semiconductor on board.", "id": 15269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We were out in the park on a jog\nWhen we heard something bark like a dog.\n\"There are dogs in this park?\"\n\"Weren't no dog made that bark;\nThat's a barking deer, down by the bog.\"", "id": 15270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "c_tennety", "limerick": "They are three-wheeled and trusted and tried\u2014\nAutorickshaws\u2014one hell of a ride!\nThough they quack, burp and bellow\nIn black, green and yellow,\nThey're symbols of third-wordly pride.", "id": 15271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "We've quite a variety of rice;\nFor paella, bahia is nice.\nIt's Spanish, short-grains;\nIn the mouth it remains\u2014\nAnd when rice is so scrumptious, chew twice.", "id": 15272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The languages Austroasiatic\nWould make a keen linguist ecstatic.\nWhat joy to explore\nA full hundred and more \u2014\nAll awesomely idiomatic!", "id": 15274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "As she trundles 'er pushcart, \"Oh, 'ark at 'er!\"\nA whisper comes out of the dark at 'er,\n\"She calls out as she walks,\nInk and charcoal she 'awks.\nShe's the bleedin' Whitechapel black marketer.\"", "id": 15275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Catherine, her love in full bloom,\nFor her nuptials would need lots of room.\nDown the aisle she would sidle\nTo \"Here Comes the Bridle\"\nAnd get herself hitched to her groom.", "id": 15276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A support with three legs is a tripod;\nWith two legs, it must be a bipod.\nBut here's a new thought:\nWhat provides my support\nHas no legs at all \u2014 it's my iPod.", "id": 15277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "When a bar code is read for a price,\nIt can be quite a fickle device.\nIf you don't hear a trill\nAs it scans past the till\nYou've just got some free stuff \u2014 ain't that nice?", "id": 15278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "My track coach had said, \"Run with fear.\"\nSo the next race, I ran like a deer\u2014\nLike a betatron burst,\nFrom dead last up to first\u2014\nAnd I won 'cause a bee stung my rear.", "id": 15279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Aphrodite's the word we'll review.\nWe hear Afro, a black or brown hue,\nWhich is coupled with dydee,\nA diaper to tidy.\nBrown diaper? The goddess of poo!", "id": 15280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Of all the great freshwater fishes,\nBlack bass is by far most delicious.\nMake it spicy or mild,\nOr consult Julia Child\nFor the key to a thousand great dishes.", "id": 15281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Every good radiologist knows\nHow the axial plane really goes.\nIt's a slice front to back,\nAnd so only a quack\nSays it goes from your head to your toes.", "id": 15282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah and sigg", "limerick": "The sloth rates revenge very high\nAnd his justice is rough, which is why\nFor a sloth on vendetta\n(With  knife or Beretta),\nThe code is: \"An ai for an ai.\"", "id": 15283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "I play the piano; that's why\nHerr Beethoven's my kind of guy.\nBecause F\u00fcr Elise\nIs a mighty fine piece\nI'll work 'til my fingers can fly!", "id": 15284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Ere I kill her I kiss her tonight,\nThough her kiss is but treachery's bite.\nIf she lives she'll betray\nOther men the same way.\nPut the light out and put out the light.", "id": 15285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "The stage is a world, metaphorically,\nWhere actors pose questions rhetorically:\nA frivolous frolic\nThrough fables symbolic,\nDefining our lives allegorically.", "id": 15286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The birds, ornithologists say,\nHave warm blood and a feathered array;\nThey stand on two legs,\nAnd they breed via eggs\nThat they guard with their lives night and day.", "id": 15287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "They may have a dark purpose in mind;\nOr they're hatching a plot, or you find\nThey've got something to say\nIn a devious way\u2014\nAxe to grind means they're scheming-inclined.", "id": 15288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Ad Astra points up from the dome\nOf the statehouse in Kansas, the home\nOf the Santa Fe Rail,\nThe great iron trail\nTo the lands where wild mustangs still roam.", "id": 15289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A paunch at your waist, that's a gut.\nAnd a slice on your thumb, that's a cut.\nOn your body, it's clear,\nYou've got parts near and dear.\nThose two cheeks of your rear? They abut.", "id": 15291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've accepted our roof and our chow\nFor three nights, so this gift we'll endow:\nCall the innkeeper \"Paw\"\n'Cause by old Saxon law\nYou are one of the family now.", "id": 15292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A pun-loving woman, Olivia\nEnjoys South American trivia.\nI told her La Paz\nWas more dazzling than Oz.\nShe said, \"Sorry, I just don't Bolivia.\"", "id": 15294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Said the Spanish colonial, \"It's\nThese big dollars! They're giving me fits.\nI'll cut them less large\nSo my barber can charge\nFor a shave and a haircut, two bits.\"", "id": 15295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "When you get to the end of the week\nAnd the leftovers look pretty bleak,\nFry cabbage and meat,\nAnd potatoes \u2014 how neat!\nThe Brits call it bubble and squeak.", "id": 15296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Whole language\" continues to grow.\nIt's why Johnny can't read, doncha know.\nYes, we have to get back\nTo the basics, a tack\nThat makes phonics the star of the show!", "id": 15297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The animal hospital's vets\nCan do wonders when caring for pets.\nMy dalmatian looked dead,\nBut they fixed him instead.\nThat's as good as this doctoring gets.", "id": 15298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An algivorous minnow did munch\nSpirogyra \u2014 it packed quite a punch!\nBut, oh my, what a scene\nWhen his burps came out green!\nRhodophyta is now his sole lunch.", "id": 15300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Albemarle\u2014shoreside and sea:\nTowns and counties, plus navy ships three;\nBritish ships with full steerage;\nDukes and Earls granted peerage,\nTheir titles conferred by decree.", "id": 15301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "BNF has grammatical power.\nThat's a Form that we call Backus-Naur.\nIf not Naur, the form'll\nBe called Backus Normal.\n<expression> ::= \"cheerful\" | \"dour\"", "id": 15302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "For an adatis, cotton is grown\nIn India; then, when it's sewn,\nIt's transported afar\nTo where cloth-buyers are\nAnd where such cultivation's unknown.", "id": 15304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Say goodbye to the beef and br\u00fbl\u00e9e!\nI'm beginning my diet today.\nThough I stand on this scale,\nI'm not reading its tale,\n'Cause I aim to be wasting a weigh.", "id": 15305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm down in the dumps with the bluesman,\nThat sad-about-paying-my-duesman.\nMy spirits are low,\nSo I'm tempted to go\nTo the bar and imbibe with the boozeman.", "id": 15306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Life's a bitch and a battle for some;\nYou unendingly slave for a crumb.\nActuality's that\nSome stay lean, some get fat.\nKeep on truckin' or wind up a bum.", "id": 15307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "An adventure: exciting or scary?\nIt depends\u2014are you thrilled or just wary?\nIt implies something new,\nA somebody, just who?\nHave a fling, take the plunge\u2014don't be chary.", "id": 15308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To agree is a really nice thought.\nTo have disagreed, argued and fought,\nThen to talk it all out\nLeaves us all with no doubt\nThat it's best when agreement is wrought.", "id": 15309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a cook-off in Delhi I hurry\nTo flatter the judges, but worry.\nI'm bending the rules\nWith these vindaloo fools.\nWill I win here by favoring curry?", "id": 15310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm dismayed and distressed to report\nThat back-alley abortions (the sort\nWe abhorred in the past)\nMay return pretty fast:\nSam Alito is now on the court!", "id": 15311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Because helium's something unique,\nWhen you breathe it, you talk with a squeak.\nAntihelium, though,\nIs its opposite, so\nCould it lower your voice when you speak?", "id": 15312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Panamint Mountains are tall.\nAlmost twelve thousand feet you can fall\nTo the Badwater Basin\u2014\nThat Death Valley place in\nThe States that's the lowest of all.", "id": 15313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The woman who worked as the acting\nDirector now finds quite distracting\nThe ignorant slob\nWho's been given the job.\nHer revenge will be swift and exacting.", "id": 15314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some physicians are finding it tough\nGetting biomaterial\u2014stuff\nThat prostheses contain.\nOf its cost, they complain,\n\"Just an arm and a leg is enough!\"", "id": 15315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I ambled to town, not astraddle,\nThe ladies would hide or skedaddle.\nSo I found me a lass\nWith a beautiful ass.\nThanks to Jenny, I'm back in the saddle.", "id": 15316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "She was boning her corset for days\nWhile inserting its twenty-odd stays.\nNow she's tugged and she's squeezed,\nGot it on; and she's pleased:\nHow a twenty-inch waist can amaze!", "id": 15317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bed-and-breakfasts are popular inns;\nWhen I visit, my morning begins\nWith a lovely repast\n(Eaten slowly, not fast),\nAnd it ends with two tonic-and-gins.", "id": 15318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are biopics getting some play\nFor an Oscar this year, critics say.\nThough I liked Walk the Line\nAnd Capote's divine,\nNeither one is sufficiently gay.", "id": 15319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Biochemistry studies have tracked\nBiomolecules, matter of fact:\nHow they're made and degrade\nIn each cell is portrayed,\nAnd the pathways by which they react.", "id": 15320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bamboo shoots that come from the East\nMay be used in preparing a feast.\nThey're not food I would choose,\nBut in all the great zoos\nGiant pandas enjoy them, at least!", "id": 15321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Got the news, in a flash I'd begun.\nSelling stock, taking cash, now I'm done.\nGetting rid of this trash\n'Fore the sucker can crash!\nWant to build your own stash?  Beat the gun.", "id": 15322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Though anti-inflammat'ry drugs\nWill limit immunity thugs\n(Leaving asthma reduced\nWhile your swelling's vamoosed),\nThey can put you at risk for some bugs!", "id": 15323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Busman's holiday: that's what they say\nWhen your work is mixed up with your play.\nDoc watches ER,\nThe valet cleans the car.\nSame tasks as your job \u2014 but no pay.", "id": 15326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An enzyme your bloodstream contains\nHelps a hormone to break from its chains.\nIt's angiotensinase,\nKnown for dispensin' ace\nVasoconstrictors in veins.", "id": 15327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "On laundry, I'm not really teachable:\nAt a loss for what stuff isn't bleachable.\nSo I've made a real mess\nOf your navy blue dress,\n'Cause I didn't know stains were impeachable.", "id": 15328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A Britisher likes to use U's\nTo spell colour (referring to hues)\nAnd gives similar favour\nTo flavour and savour,\nBut Yanks think these U's just confuuuse.", "id": 15329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "With yapping I greet every night,\nAnd my howling may cause you a fright.\nThough my fangs are displayed\nYou should not be afraid,\nFor my bowwow is worse than my bite.", "id": 15330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "My abdominal muscles are straining:\nThey're aching, and groaning, complaining.\nI suck in my gut\nTo look svelte, but my butt\nStill reveals all the weight that I'm gaining.", "id": 15331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Henry Ford met with Chrysler one day\nAnd said, \"Go and find Lou Chevrolet.\nWe can go on a spree!\nWe can be the Big Three\n(And we won't ask Ferrari to play).\"", "id": 15332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If you're looking to pick up some shares\nRather cheap, and improve your affairs,\nA bear market's best\nAs a time to invest.\n(No, it isn't a place to buy bears.)", "id": 15333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The show was quite big in Angola,\nBut despite lots of well-placed payola\nAnd a chorus (undressed),\nCritics left unimpressed.\nIn New York they're not talking boffola.", "id": 15334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Round the Christmas menorah we're rockin',\nAnd the Chanukah bush needs a flockin'.\nAnd the atheist dons a\nNew robe just for Kwaanza.\nAny credo or faith?  Come a-knockin'!", "id": 15335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For hors d'oeuvres I've an appetite hearty,\nBut I'm never invited to party.\nI guess they can't dig my\nLoud gas \u2014 borborygmi.\nToo bad that's the life of the farty.", "id": 15336, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Running churches, with rules to enforce,\nAll the bishops are quick to endorse\nThat their swell chief-of-staff\nIs a wit, makes them laugh.\nSo he's called the archbishop, of course.", "id": 15337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My boomerang flew from my hand.\nUnderstand, it was clear it would land\nAt the hand where it started\n(Pre-planned it departed).\nI caught it and cocked my arm and ...", "id": 15338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The old admiral acts a bit coy,\nAnd tells us it's girls he'd enjoy.\nBut in do-or-die plight,\nLost at sea, late at night,\nHe'd be happy to find a nice buoy.", "id": 15339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi and David Schildkret", "limerick": "With a market that's rising to drive stock,\nLet's pick that about-to-arrive stock.\nBuy low and sell high\nWhen a bull market's nigh.\n(No, it isn't a place to buy livestock.)", "id": 15340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Se\u00f1ores, it's sure great to see ya\nIn New Mexico's town Agua Fria.\nIt's here, I've been told,\nThat the water's damn cold;\nGoing swimming's a loco idea.", "id": 15341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Peninah", "limerick": "A kitniyot eater, Sefardi,\nThrows the season's best Passover party.\nAshkenazim like me,\nThough invited, can't be\nAt her house eating grains that are hearty.", "id": 15342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I trekked through the Highlands with maps\nThat were riddled with errors and gaps.\nEvery Scot I'd accost\nTold me, \"Aiblins you're lost.\"\nThat's a town or a river, perhaps?", "id": 15343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jon Paddick", "limerick": "It's not a Victorian novella,\nNor a fruit of the genus Prunella.\nYou can't fire it or blow it,\nOr eat it or grow it;\nIt's just an old-fashioned umbrella.", "id": 15344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "My son thinks I'm terribly dotty\nFor seeming obsessed with his botty.\nIt won't half make me happy\nTo leave off the nappy \u2014\nIt really is time for the potty.", "id": 15346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "\"Give us breast, it's the best!\" babes demand \u2014\nIt's their first source of food, understand.\nIt's warming and milky,\nMaternal and silky,\nSuch a comforting mammary gland.", "id": 15347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He barged in on the holiday feast.\nPeople stared; conversation just ceased.\nWith his food in his fist,\nGravy dripped down his wrist.\nHe was brutish\u2014he ate like a beast.", "id": 15348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The term adenomegaly means\nThat they're swollen \u2014 our glands, sometimes spleens.\nA virus or tumor\nWill cause this dishumor;\nIt's not just a matter of genes.", "id": 15349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An alien may have no nose\nAnd antennae for ears, I suppose;\nAntialien, then,\nMeans against little men\n(The green ones that fly U.F.O.s).", "id": 15350, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Arenicolous creatures are grand;\nThey're the best of those dwelling on land.\nCan't define arenicolous?\nDon't be ridic-olous!\nIt simply means \"living in sand.\"", "id": 15351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The food show's a sweet sight to see,\nWith row upon row of buckshee.\nThe vendors hawk wares,\nAnd no restaurant compares\u2014\nWhy pay when the samples are free?", "id": 15352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some people avoid altercation\nBy engaging in base assentation.\nIf it helps them to win,\nThey'll lie with a grin\nWhile pretending profuse admiration.", "id": 15353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When arrested, in jail he remained.\n\"The case is airtight,\" he explained.\n\"They just made me confess\nThat my grass is a mess.\"\nLawn order: It must be maintained.", "id": 15354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"In my soup, there are flies on parade.\nCan I please have another bowl made?\"\n\"It won't help,\" said the waiter,\n\"To bring you one later.\nIt's aquacade soup, I'm afraid.\"", "id": 15355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I had an abdominal nephrectomy:\nThe belly cut seems so high tech to me.\nMy kidney's removed.\nOperation approved?\nHope insurance is sending a check to me.", "id": 15356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Here's a comment, I'll try to be terse:\n'Bout your limericks?  I've never heard worse!\nYou're put off when I judge\nThat your poetry's sludge?\nGuess I'll just put you down for averse.", "id": 15357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "If the soul of our wit is true brevity,\nThen limericks are chock-full of levity.\nIt's no idle boast,\nThis one's slyer than most.", "id": 15358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Peanut brickle is causing a stickle;\nThis snack has us caught in a pickle.\nThe candy's too tough;\nWhat can break through this stuff?\nNot our molars, but maybe a brick'll.", "id": 15359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For breakfast, here comes Aunt Jemima;\nShe knows that I'm no wisenheima.\nHer syrupy grace\nStuffs a hungry man's face.\nThere's no waffling \u2014 no food is sublima.", "id": 15360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On their wedding night, plans are replete\nTo indulge all their passions with heat.\nBut to harness that force,\nShe intends to play horse \u2014\nBig surprise in disguise: bridle suite.", "id": 15361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Weill your muse is in Haydn \u2014 a Bloch?\nYou've un-Ravel-ed \u2014 can't Handel the shock?\nMake a Chopin Liszt, dear,\nAnd go Telemann, \"Beer!\"\nIves been Franck \u2014 get inspired by bock.", "id": 15362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a bullfrog who's itchin' to goad\nThe batrachians set to explode.\nBut his mom says \"No, thanks!\"\nTo his lily pad pranks.\n\"Just for once, can't you do what you're toad?\"", "id": 15363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The taverner died late last spring;\nLeft a will with a very strange thing.\nIt made his dog Mutt\nThe new owner. Guess what?\nThat means Mutt is the barking bar king.", "id": 15364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The ABO blood group applies\nTo the four groups of blood that arise.\nA and B, then AB\nLastly O. Docs agree\nIf the wrong one's transfused: patient dies!", "id": 15365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Father's sisters were always bighearted.\nI miss them.  They're newly departed.\nIn touch though they're dead?\nMy new medium said,\n\"Now say 'aunts' \u2014 it will help us get started.\"", "id": 15366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Antidisestablishmentarian-\nism, a movement contrarian,\nSaid, \"Church and State mixed!\"\nBut the group was deep-sixed;\nIt was quashed by the parliamentarian.", "id": 15367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Go see Anableps anableps, guys;\nI surmise that you'll get a surprise.\nIn sex they are branded\nAs left- or right-handed:\nThe fish that we've nicknamed \"four eyes.\"", "id": 15368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On my ranch I'd employ the best hands,\nBut they make such excessive demands.\nJust for marking my herd,\nThat much money? Absurd!\nI'll keep shopping for discounted brands.", "id": 15370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abusage, long dead, was revived\nIn the 40s; since then it has thrived.\nEric Partridge made use\nOf this word for abuse\nTo mean language that's falsely contrived.", "id": 15371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm attending a school of ballet,\nWhere I work at the handrail by day;\nBut by night I push booze\nIn a club as I schmooze.\nI'm a barre girl and bar girl, I'd say.", "id": 15372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "To try anagrammatization\nInvolves absolute inspiration.\nIf you just rearrange\nAll the letters, they change\nTo a new word\u2014hey, what a sensation!", "id": 15373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The late, luckless barfly, Jim Lear,\nWas waked 'round the first of the year.\nFriends, in passing the stiff,\nThought they heard a soft sniff,\nAnd observed, \"He's still cry'n' in his bier.\"", "id": 15374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Par four and two shots off the tee,\nThe duffer stood back, said, \"Let's see.\nThe putt's slightly up,\nSeven feet to the cup.\nCamera time:  Watch the birdie!  In three!\"", "id": 15375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From the start his new film was ill-fated,\nWith a plot and a theme understated.\nDespite his renown\nIt received a thumbs down;\nBoth director and film were berated.", "id": 15376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "6 P.M., something's wrong with the books.\n8 P.M., last review: two more looks.\n9 P.M., blow the whistle\nOn the bosses; well this'll\nBe 6 A.M. news: caught the crooks.", "id": 15377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "With a cramp in my biceps femoris,\nI kicked out my leg, like Chuck Norris.\nThe cops were a pain,\nAs I tried to explain\nWhy I kicked that old lady Dolores.", "id": 15378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "At the bathhouse, I relish the sight\nOf her push-up bikini clasped tight,\nThen enjoy the sweet \"pop\"\nAs she opens her top,\nAnd her bosoms in freedom delight.", "id": 15379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Anna Pestic", "limerick": "So, adjudicatory's a word?\nYes, though not very frequently heard.\nDidn't see it in schoolings?\nIt's about judges' rulings.\nBut a limerick about it? Absurd!", "id": 15380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From the bark of a tree comes a drink;\nIt's a soda like root beer, not Wink.\nThough I savor vanilla\nAnd crave sarsaparilla,\nThis birch beer goes straight in the sink.", "id": 15381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "'Twas in London, eighteen twenty-eight,\nRobert Peel had the mind to create\nMetropolitan Police,\nNoble keepers of peace:\nYes, the bobbies, who stand tall and straight.", "id": 15382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My friend wears a size eighteen shoe.\nSitting down, he is still six-foot-two.\nWith a big barrel chest\n(You can picture the rest),\nMy pal's Bunyanesque (in my view).", "id": 15383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "If you witness a strange glowing light\u2014\nAn anomalous luminous sight\u2014\nThe phenomenon seen\nCould potentially mean\nThat an earthquake will soon be your plight.", "id": 15384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bato", "limerick": "Said a  dry Cornish beggar in Looe,\n\"You look very generous, you.\nIf you give me ten p\nI'll go get me some tea.\"\n\"Here's twenty, I'll have a cup too.\"", "id": 15385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"An arboreal dwelling impeccable!\"\nThe woodpecker deemed the place checkable,\nBut the real estate ad\nFor this petrified pad\nShould include, \"Bring a beak that's unwreckable.\"", "id": 15386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "B-4 I had ever B-gun\nTaking thiamine (known as B-1),\nI B-came beri sick,\nBut B-1 did the trick:\nNow my nervous disorder B done.", "id": 15387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If ever I needed more proof\nThat your dad is an absolute goof,\nHis foolish insistence\nOn a pose of absistence \u2014\nHe's a schmuck when he stands so aloof.", "id": 15389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If you're floppy, or flabby, or fat,\nYou must chuck out your exercise mat.\nJust do what you oughta;\nGet into the water:\nAquarobics is now where it's at.", "id": 15390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "\"The course will be quite comprehensive,\"\nSaid the teacher. The students looked pensive.\n\"But don't you get queasy \u2014\nThe subject is easy.\nSo, no need to feel apprehensive.\"", "id": 15391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If simply by kissing, you get\nAll het up, then beware when you pet.\nAs with oversexed teens,\nBasoexia means\nThat your every kiss could be wet.", "id": 15392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since the Swiss favor holes in their cheese,\nAs their host I'll be aiming to please\nWith some soft, ripened kinds\nOf fromage that have rinds.\nHere's a gun\u2014let's start shooting the Bries.", "id": 15393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In imperial days, we called Britain\nThe island where greatness was written.\nAs many have grumbled,\nThe Empire has crumbled\u2014\nIt's here in the damp we're left sittin'.", "id": 15394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An apologizer shows some regret\nIf he does things that cause you to sweat,\nLike drinking your beer\nAnd suggesting you're \"queer\",\nThen inviting you out to the Met.", "id": 15395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Every girl of the rich upper crust\nKnows a real whale-boned corset's a must.\nWhen it's cinched really tight,\nIt creates quite a sight:\nAn appealingly busk-boosted bust.", "id": 15396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "Abdominal (wheeze) respiration\nIs your diaphragm's chief occupation.\nIf (wheeze)  you're exhaling\nAnd feel your lungs failing,\nGet (wheeze)  some good (wheeze)  medication.", "id": 15397, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "If he lives in a sett underground,\nAnd a stripe on his head can be found,\nThen we say that his name\n(Well, the one of less fame)\nIs a brock. They no longer abound.", "id": 15398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The magician did wonderful tricks\nWhen performing way out in the sticks.\nFrom an average-sized pumpkin,\nHe pulled out a bumpkin.\n(The word describes yokels and hicks.)", "id": 15399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When we moved here, we knew you might hate us,\nBut we doubted you'd heckle and bait us.\n\"Artsy-fartsy!\" you yell,\nWhich is all very well,\nBut we artists aren't known for our flatus!", "id": 15400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With your belt size increasingly great,\nCan you buckle your buckle of late?\nWhen you purchased your belt,\nYou were slender and svelte;\nNow your knees buckle under your weight.", "id": 15401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "My bedroom's a mess, I confess,\nSo it's time to inventorize! Yes!\nAn anagraph's sure\nGonna help me do more,\nCoz I'll spend my time looking for less.", "id": 15402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "As tennis stars age, they are faced\nWith the fact that they'll soon be displaced.\nIt's a fate undeserved,\nBut, then, youth must be served,\nAnd youth isn't easily aced.", "id": 15403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "The American Standard (a Code),\nBe it plain Information or ode,\nLets us Interchange text.\nSeven bits leaves me vexed;\nLet's extend it for accented mode.", "id": 15404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "I hope you don't find it too odd\nWhen you see I've no clothes on my bod.\nAdamitism means\nI don't wear any jeans\nBecause I'm going naked for God.", "id": 15405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I love Mexican food, but I'll pass\nOn your homemade burrito. Alas,\nWhile I like the idea\nOf beans and tortilla\nTogether, I don't need the gas.", "id": 15406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A soldier of fortune will risk\nLife and limb, and past peril he'll whisk.\nThe adventurer dares\nWith his devil-may-cares\u2014\nSo do I, when I order the bisque.", "id": 15407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An absentee ballot is swell\nFor the soldier, the old, the unwell.\nBeing sick or remote\nFrom the polls, they can vote\nIn advance from the place where they dwell.", "id": 15408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though the buggies and bonnets seem odd,\nTo the Amish, they're not a fa\u00e7ade.\nPennsylvania Dutch\nAre indeed out of touch\nWith technology\u2014yes, but not God.", "id": 15409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Sam had thought that the fence would be higher\n'Round the apple trees schoolboys admire;\nBut he got, climbing over,\nA shock, and moreover,\nA gash from the splash of barbed wire!", "id": 15410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A burgoo is a spicy thick stew\nMade with mixed meats. Kentuckians do\nAdd, at times, an opossum\nTo make flavors blossom,\nBut I'm like, chacun \u00e0 son go\u00fbt.", "id": 15411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "B\u00e9la Bart\u00f3k's a subject I hear\nViolinists discuss over beer.\nThis Hungarian wrote\nA concerto of note,\nWhich the orchestra's bar talk makes clear.", "id": 15412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Oh blusterer, take my advice,\nAnd do try your best to think twice\nBefore making a sound:\nFor threats, empty, resound,\nAnd throat-jumping comes at a price.", "id": 15413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "A brock (or a brocket) one day\nWent out in the woodland to play.\nThere he met a fine doe,\nBut her words caused him woe:\n\"Why, your horns are too straight \u2014 go away!\"", "id": 15414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "There's a small chap who likes to play rugger,\nAnd jostle the scrum, hugger-mugger.\nHe could well break his neck\nBut he thinks, \"what the heck!\"\nHe's a brave \u2014 or insane \u2014 little bugger.", "id": 15415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "A local with whom you would tryst'll\nDeride you for calling it Bristol.\nYou might get a kiss\nFor pronouncing it Briss\n-le. The accent's a long way from crystal.", "id": 15416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He brutishly brushed her away,\nSnarling, \"Hey, I don't care what you say!\nYou're too ugly and fat,\nAnd I won't stand for that:\nI feel animalistic today.\"", "id": 15417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Behavioral science is apt.\nIt describes how a man might adapt\nTo the acts of another,\nIncluding his mother.\n(Those guilt trips explain why I snapped.)", "id": 15418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Byzantium, city of Thrace,\nWas aforetime in Istanbul's place\nOn the banks of the Bosporus,\nBusy and prosperous;\nConstantine made it his base.", "id": 15419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Auschwitz.  The name will chill cold\nWhen its scandal's six hundred years old.\nWe must always abhor\nThe putrescence of war,\nSo its story must still be retold.", "id": 15420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "My girlfriend (we might call her Daria)\nHas no ovaries\u2014that's anovaria.\nShe is XO genetically,\nSo, energetically\nStrives to prepare her \"girl area.\"", "id": 15421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "KeithArcher and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Playing Rum Diddy-Dum Diddy-Dum,\nAll day long, Dad and son banged their drum.\nBut the hour grew late\nAnd their drum met its fate\nWith one swing of a bat brought by Mum.", "id": 15422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's priggish \u2014 a bit of a farce:\nTo avoid saying ass we say arse.\nOne can only conclude\nThat it's true that a prude\nWho is flatulent passes some garse.", "id": 15423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Workshop", "limerick": "Paying taxes? I might have been slack,\nSo the government's on the attack.\nAfter taking my farm\nAnd a leg and an arm,\nNow the IRS taxes my back!", "id": 15424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If you sit on the sofa all day\nEating bon-bons and ice cream parfait,\nOdds are good (by and large)\nYou'll be big as a barge,\nAnd your teeth'll be filled with decay!", "id": 15425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Please excuse me, as I now divulge\nJust why I don't like to indulge\nIn cake, sweets or booze.\nI really must lose\nFlab that's causing my stomach to bulge.", "id": 15426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "\"I'm not balding!\" my father once said.\n\"There's still hair growing thick on my head.\nIt is just that my mop\nHas escaped from the top \u2014\nI've a surfeit of ear hair instead.\"", "id": 15427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "An abscess scan's job is to scan\nFor white blood cells returned to a man.\nI'm obsessed, you will find,\nWith my abscessed behind:\nIt's as sore as an Arsenal fan.", "id": 15428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jon Paddick", "limerick": "The bungalow comes from Bengal:\nA verandah, pitched roof, not too tall.\nLike Bengal, it's quite flat \u2014\nJust one floor with a hat.\nA stair would lead nowhere at all.", "id": 15429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "I can vaguely remember the apse;\nIs it part of cathedrals, perhaps?\nMy old undergrad lectures\nAbout architectures\nToo frequently turned into naps.", "id": 15430, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Almer\u00eda in Spain sounded grand.\nWhere's the beach? We are here to get tanned!\nNo Phoenician resort,\nJust a bustling port.\nWe got burned, and my agent got canned!", "id": 15431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An ambush (surprising, of course)\nIs a trap from a quarrelsome source.\n(That's assuming that you\nAren't a bear known as Pooh.\nIf you are, then it's likely a gorse.)", "id": 15432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "night_writer", "limerick": "Letter Bs are the ones that are twos,\nNot the first, but the second you choose.\nBut let me explain:\nIf type B's in your vein,\nIt's your first choice for blood to transfuse.", "id": 15433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "night_writer", "limerick": "In pool halls, your cue ball's first mission\nIs starting in kitchen position.\nThat's somewhere behind\nThe balkline, defined\nBy two diamonds, in billiard tradition.", "id": 15434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Proverbial phrases (called bywords)\nOverused may decay into dry words.\nBut a limerick can play\nAt the language buffet,\nWith an em dash of mustard on rye words.", "id": 15435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "At the tone, you may phone an abode\nUsing \"1\" plus the area code.\nNeed more numbers? They'll list 'em,\nExpanding our system,\nWith overlays easing the load.", "id": 15436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The process of Americanisation\nIs happening to many a nation.\nThough in ways it's a blessing,\nThere's much that's distressing:\nUS lager's a foul aberration.", "id": 15437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Go west, young man, west\u2014so I traipse\nWith the sun 'cross the states to the capes.\nOut on Alava's sand\nIs a view really grand:\nOne of Washington's rugged escapes.", "id": 15438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "A busby's a most furry hat,\nAnd no one could argue with that.\nMade of skin from a bear \u2014\nSoccer fans everywhere\nThen add, \"Don't forget manager Matt.\"", "id": 15439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My life is forever off track;\nI try hard but I can't get it back.\nEvery branchline I face,\nTakes me some other place.\nI'm derailed and my world's out of whack!", "id": 15440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Anna Pestic", "limerick": "Amaze can mean \"shock,\" you'll agree, and\nA shock could be locks, do you see? And\nA lock needs a key, and\nThe key could be \"G,\" and\nGee whiz, what a maze words can be, and", "id": 15441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Arranging things alphanumerically,\nFrom alpha to zed, esoterically.\nIs better, I'd guess,\nThan the clutter and mess,\nOf approaching the project hysterically.", "id": 15442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Take potatoes, sliced thick, then deep fried,\nSome white bread, with the spuds popped inside,\nFor a hearty chip butty\n(Not meant to sound smutty):\nServe hot, with brown sauce on the side.", "id": 15443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Anthological: adjective, word\nFor \"collections of scripts\", so I'd heard.\nI got quickly infected,\nSo I bought and collected\nSuch books by the dozen \u2014 absurd!", "id": 15444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the state of Ogun, in a hut\nWatching bugs, here I sit on my butt.\nIn Abeokuta,\nThe insects have scuta\n(Like everywhere else, but so what?).", "id": 15445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "As a parent, I'm feeling subversive,\nFor children today are too curse-ive.\nIt's no use protesting,\nSo I am suggesting\nWe wash out their mouths with abstersive.", "id": 15446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "From living here near the frontier\nAnd dealing with horses, I fear\nThat part of me panics,\nFor aeromechanics\nHave taught me, \"steer clear of the rear.\"", "id": 15447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Round your joints are some fluid-filled sacs;\nIf inflamed, these bursitis attacks\nMake it painful to bend.\nBrings your sport to an end?\nApply ice to the limb, and relax.", "id": 15448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "It's germane to the purpose if it\nSees both function and form neatly fit.\nIf it strikes the right tone,\nYou can leave well alone;\nOne might say it's an apposite hit.", "id": 15449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The bulbs that my florist is selling\nWill grow into flowers, sweet-smelling!\nThough the bulbs in my ceiling\nAre far less appealing,\nThey light up the rooms in my dwelling.", "id": 15450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "My lunch wagon meal was replaced\nWith home cooking; a much better taste.\nYes, I've started brown bagging;\nTo workmates, I'm bragging!\nI feast while they eat toxic waste.", "id": 15451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Missed the putt, the cup inches beyond;\nThere was only one way to respond:\nHe was crushed at this stage,\nIn a childish blind rage\u2014\nAll his clubs ended up in the pond.", "id": 15452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and oneslowtyper", "limerick": "There's a place in Montana called Butte\nWhere old miners dropped bundles of loot.\nThis Superfund pit's\nGiving tree huggers fits\u2014\nThough the brothel's of highest repute!", "id": 15453, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "\"By accepting this contract,\" he said,\n\"You're agreeing to work 'til you're dead,\nEvery day, nights and weekends\nAnd then, when your peak ends,\nExpect to be dumped on your head.\"", "id": 15454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Made a box that is carved out and beechen,\nIn the workshop that's what they've been teachin'.\nI have learned all I should\nAbout workin' in wood,\nNow the joy of my craft I'll be preachin'.", "id": 15455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He was cheerful and pleased with his life.\nShe was angry and pulled out a knife.\nThough the late aforementioned\nWas quite well intentioned;\nThat couldn't be said of his wife.", "id": 15456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When accosted it's best to reply\nIn a manner not trembling or shy.\nYou must push him away\nWithout any delay,\nAnd then hastily bid him goodbye.", "id": 15457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When I walked round behind the new colt,\nA loud bang caused the young horse to bolt.\nAs I closed the barn door,\nI could hear the boss roar,\n\"Don't just stand there! Go catch it, you dolt!\"", "id": 15458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "She placidly studied a sonnet,\nBut her hat had some honey upon it.\nWhen she put it back on\nAll her heartsease was gone,\nFor she now had a bee in her bonnet.", "id": 15459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "\"Drink more,\" said the wine. I complied,\nFor all night it had been on my side.\n\"You'll only soar higher,\nI am your desire,\"\nIt whispered\u2014but this time it lied.", "id": 15460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I think butchery looks pretty neat\nWhen a butcher is cutting up meat.\nBut it's not so romantic\nWhen despots are frantic\nTo shed lots of blood in the street!", "id": 15461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You've papered the city with bylines;\nYou're famous from gutters to skylines.\nYou are glib with your views,\nBut you're skimpy with news\n'Cause you skip who, what, where, when, and why lines.", "id": 15462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "When speech veers aside from the track it's\nBeen following, changing its tack, it's\nAn aside (often shown\nBy a difference in tone.\n[In writing we show it with brackets]).", "id": 15463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "To turn liquid to mist, simply squeeze\nThrough a hole. To propel? CFCs!\n(Those were common in aerosols.)\nHarm ozone? Use parasols\nTo shield from the deadly UVs.", "id": 15464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "Tea, milk, honey\u2014they stirred contemplation:\nDistinct when they're in isolation...\nThey swirled and spun;\nWhen the mixing was done,\nWhat were many was one: adunation.", "id": 15465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "He's been gone many years, make no doubt,\nBut his image still lingers about,\nIn a photograph's limbo,\nWith one arm akimbo\n(The hand on the hip, elbow out).", "id": 15466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "An alphabiotic exam\nMight persuade you it's only a sham,\nBut perhaps if you took\nA more skeptical look,\nYou'd conclude it's an out-and-out scam!", "id": 15467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "An acranius hasn't the hull\nThat is commonly known as the skull.\nA fetus like this\nWill undoubtedly miss\nGrowing up to be somebody dull.", "id": 15468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Ten-pin bowling's a popular sport\nOf a unidirectional sort.\nDown the lane goes the ball;\nIf it knocks over all\nOf the pins, you've a strike to report!", "id": 15469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "A new rhesus, named Reese, owned by Claire,\nTo her fear, fell asleep in her chair.\nShe adreaded and fretted\nThe chair would be wetted:\nEnuresis in Reese is not rare.", "id": 15470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "It bleaches: your whites it will whiten;\nPopulations of germs it will lighten.\nIt comes in a powder.\nIf added to chowder,\nThe death rate by poison will heighten.", "id": 15471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Type A", "limerick": "At OEDILF, I got onto the case\nOf putting a word in its place.\nThe word's allative, see,\nAnd it's fifth in degree.\nToward the end, I'll now finish apace.", "id": 15472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When things start to get in a state,\nYou will hope that they start to abate.\nThat may make them less strong\n(Or maybe less long)\nBut will always reduce them in rate.", "id": 15473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Arkansas, people say phooey\nTo big-city folks from St. Looey.\nThe razorback hog\nIs the mascot they flog\nAt athletic events, calling \"Sooie!\"", "id": 15474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "If you rise in a hot-air balloon\nAnd you study the clouds or monsoon,\nIt's aeroscopy \u2014 though,\nDon't go too high; you know\nYou will never float up to the Moon.", "id": 15475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Two bakers were joyfully wed;\n\"We're so deeply in loaf!\" they both said.\nBut as cousins, it's feared\nThat their kids will be weird.\nThings get strange when a family's in bread.", "id": 15476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A metal that's active is one\nThat wants to go out and have fun\nWith an element who\nMight be like-minded too:\nA compound, you'll find, when they're done.", "id": 15477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You start bailing out water when you\nAre alone in a boat, and the blue\nWaves begin to come in,\nSoak you through to your skin,\nAnd then fill the whole vessel up, too.", "id": 15478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "An aceto-orcein stain,\nIf you've got coloured dyes on the brain,\nIs what scientists use\nWhen they wish to see views\nOf a squashed chromosomal terrain.", "id": 15479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Does one's braininess stem from one's genes?\nIt's a topical question and means,\nIf it's so, we could start\nTo make all kids real smart\nAnd exterminate megadeth teens.", "id": 15480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Age of moon is the time that's gone by\nSince the new moon hung dark in the sky,\nSo the heavens weren't bright,\nFor the sun's shining light\nLit its other face up there on high.", "id": 15481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "This new broad gauge is thought to be great\nBy Brunel \u2014 but it's got here too late.\nFor the government hails\nGeorge's narrow-gauge rails;\nA slow death is Brunel's gauge's fate.", "id": 15482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Need a book for a cold winter's night?\nLittle Women's a classic delight:\nAlcott's tale of young life,\nSteeped in heartache and strife.\nWill these sisters come through it all right?", "id": 15483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "If it's shipshape, it's quite Bristol fashion,\nAnd won't make the Captain turn ashen:\nHe loves things just right,\nClean and sparkling bright,\nAnd a mess drives him into a passion.", "id": 15484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When the broadcast of seeds was well known,\nThey were scattered by hand; it's been shown\nThat they didn't land straight,\nAnd the blow-away rate\nWas too high: few were sown, much less grown.", "id": 15485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I was once quite bemused by the fact\nThat my dad loved brown sauce, which is packed\nWith baked bean-spicing flavour;\nBut now I, too, savour\nThe stuff \u2014 so the ketchup's been sacked.", "id": 15486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I need breathing space \u2014 back off a bit.\nIf you don't, there's a chance you'll get hit.\nLet me do my own stuff,\n'Cause you've more than enough\nOf your own space; in mine, you don't fit.", "id": 15487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "What's shared by your tears and the seas,\nAnd by sweat and the brisk ocean breeze?\nIt's their saltiness; but,\nSince they're watery, let's put\nThe right word here: say brininess, please.", "id": 15488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "As a Brownie, I tried to be good,\nTo behave as a Brownie Guide should,\nAnd to help every day,\nBut too often, I'd say,\n\"Well, I would lend a hand, if I could.\"", "id": 15489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "That bite as my palms find the catch \u2014\nFor a moment, I'm queen of this patch\nOf the water that sings\nAs my butterfly swings.\nBody, water: a rapturous match.", "id": 15490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "For general use, brambly means \"prickly\" \u2014\nThorned undergrowth tangled up thickly.\nBut be scientific;\nThe word's more specific:\n\"Of Rubus\" defines it quite slickly.", "id": 15491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Yes, I'm brimming with fervour; I feel\nAlmost everything has its appeal.\nBut you find things quite dull?\nLost their lustre? Your skull\nMust be brimming with boredom, no zeal.", "id": 15492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "It's only a tiny conjunction,\nBut but has a critical function:\nIt indicates, \"Though\nThe preceding point's so,\nThere's a shift in my thoughts at this junction.\"", "id": 15493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Aegina's a Greek island place\nAnd an asteroid far out in space.\nI hope, with whole heart,\nThey'll stay far apart;\nOur race would be hard to replace.", "id": 15494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "A laird wanting quiet and peace\nLived a pacifist's life in Dumfries.\nSo when enemies came\nAnd surrounded his hame,\nHe beseeched the besiegers to cease.", "id": 15495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Anthropophagite restaurants are few,\nThough they serve up one helluva stew;\nWhy do cannibal diners\nSo rarely serve minors?\nQuite frankly, there's little to chew!", "id": 15496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I've brought forward the punchline, my dear.\nJust in case my conceit isn't clear\nAnd you can't see what's happening here,\nI'll remove any doubt\nBy spelling it out.", "id": 15497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though my buddy felt utterly cruddy\nAbout getting my study all muddy,\nThe response that I chose\nWas a blow to the nose.\nNow my study's both muddy and bloody.", "id": 15498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Archives War, great in renown,\nKept Austin the capital town.\nSam Houston's night raiders\nWere bootless invaders,\nReturning with naught but a frown.", "id": 15499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're planning to go for a run,\nThen a bouldery park is no fun.\nBeing covered with stones,\nIt's a threat to your bones.\nAnd your limbs? You could bruise every one.", "id": 15500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A business-like plan of attack\nPuts your bank balance back in the black.\nAll those arty pretenses\nWon't fund your expenses.\nSo sell out your soul; be a hack.", "id": 15501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Under \"power, atomic\" you'll see\nJust how mystical physics can be.\nYou'd note E (if you cared)\nEquals m times c squared,\nBut beyond that is way beyond me.", "id": 15502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The life in this bourg is a hassle;\nTo find things you need to be facile.\nWe live in the dark; it\nKeeps hurting our market:\nThe sunlight is blocked by the castle.", "id": 15503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "For these sufferers, time's the best cure.\nThey are moody; their memories are poor.\nThey are just menopausal\u2014\nThis one simple cause'll\nGet wives hot and bothered, for sure.", "id": 15504, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A bravo's  a fancy-pants hit man.\nYou hope he's a physically fit man\n(A mean desperado\nWho's full of bravado),\nUnless he's decided you're it, man.", "id": 15505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "The altos are solid as rock;\nThey're women of hardiest stock.\nThey faithfully croon,\nBut they don't sing the tune\n(If they did, they would faint from the shock).", "id": 15506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Blue cornmeal makes savory chips\nThat look neat beside salsas and dips.\nIf your waiter's a guy\nWho keeps up the supply,\nBe sure to leave generous tips.", "id": 15507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I was broke; I was poor; life was bleak.\nI broke into a fancy boutique.\nI again broke the law\nWhen I broke the cop's jaw;\nBut I broke out of prison last week.", "id": 15508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A brattice (it's used in a mine)\nKeeps the air flowing through by design.\nMade of cloth, or of wood;\nSeldom stays there for good;\nFor a makeshift shaft stopgap, it's fine.", "id": 15510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Manufacturing jackets and slacks\nRaises dust from the cotton and flax\nThat'll play fast and loose\nWith your lungs, and produce\nByssinosis and coughing attacks.", "id": 15511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If you think only gals and not men're\nMost apt to be airheads, well then're\nYou listening to me?\nThough he sings a high C,\nHe's as dim as can be, is the tenor.", "id": 15512, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Here's a funny old game to play, Bob:\nPut your fingers inside of your gob.\nNow stretch out your grin\nTo both sides of your chin,\nAnd say \"Banking's a banker's top job!\"", "id": 15513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Wed my wife on a bridge on the Rhone,\nAnd what trussed and support she has shown.\nOh, our love life's been grand;\nForty years it has spanned\n'Cause I just cantilever alone.", "id": 15514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "The sports car was fast, red, and sleek;\nThe model was thin, blonde, and chic.\nShe posed on the bonnet,\nHer booty upon it\u2014\nThe engine was hot undercheek!", "id": 15515, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "I tripped flat on a three-foot-high fern\nAnd kerflapped down a brae to a burn.\nWas it bracken (or brake)?\nI don't know, but I ache\nHead to toe, and I don't want to learn.", "id": 15516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The magnanimous people who come\nBy my grate see a man, not a bum.\nThey'll drop coins as they pass;\nTheir donations amass\nAnd amount to a pretty big sum.", "id": 15517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many royals at Buckingham frown\nAt the Prince, who's been playing the clown.\nIf he doesn't get wise,\nWhen Elizabeth dies\nThey're denying this bozo the crown.", "id": 15518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's an image most folks can recall:\nIn a wine vat, a two-woman brawl.\nOr the candy disaster\n(The belt moving faster).\nThe star of both scenes?  Lucille Ball.", "id": 15519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Prefix acet- plus um makes a sauce\nTo be put on your food, and of course\nWhile it's tasty on fries\n(Spends a lifetime on thighs),\nIt can soak you with acid remorse.", "id": 15520, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For the verses he writes and enjoys,\nA thesaurus Jack Horner employs.\nFirst he sticks in his thumb,\nThen he pulls out aplomb!\n(That's a word that has come to mean \"poise.\")", "id": 15521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow", "limerick": "When Reagan and Thatcher shared glory,\nWe missed this behind-the-scenes story:\nRonnie said she was hot,\nAnd believe it or not,\nMaggie said to him, \"I, amatory.\"", "id": 15523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow", "limerick": "Ambidextrous? My dirty young brother\nHas a gene handed down from our mother.\nHe can't claim it's the case\nThat he washed his own face,\nBut it's clear that one hand washed the other.", "id": 15524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "AES", "limerick": "Not oral \u2014 let's make it quite clear,\nYour auris is what lets you hear.\nWith your os now, you pout,\nBlow kisses and shout,\nBut aural belongs to the ear.", "id": 15525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow", "limerick": "There's the Everglades' prime masticator!\nIf you fall off the boat\u2014see you later.\nBetter stay on the dock.\nIt's the truth, not a croc:\nThat's one hell of a big alligator.", "id": 15526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow", "limerick": "There's some funny stuff right in your eye,\nBut you can't clean it out, so don't try.\nIt's just goo, not a tumor,\nCalled aqueous humor.\nWhat a cornea jokester am I!", "id": 15527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antilymphocyte serums suppress\nThe response by a body when stress\n(After tissue is grafted)\nMeans T cells are drafted\nThat threaten a transplant's success.", "id": 15528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antismog is the way you would be\nIf you lived in L.A. here with me.\nWith pollution this bad,\nI remain in my pad\nAnd go out only one day in three.", "id": 15529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antiracism laws are okay,\nKeeping bunches of bigots at bay.\nBut if we're to create\nA new world without hate,\nEducation, no doubt, is the way.", "id": 15530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a subject resistant to humor\u2014\nThis cancer we know as the tumor.\nIts growth can be drastic,\nIn fact, neoplastic.\nI'm anti- (opposed to) this doomer!", "id": 15531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An avoidant, detached schizophrenic,\nWithdrawn and a tad neurasthenic,\nImagines she's Eve\nOn a Garden qui vive\nIn a world she perceives as Edenic.", "id": 15532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antitumor defenses are numerous\u2014\nA legion for lesions turned tumorous.\nWe battle with cancers\n(Myoma advancers)\nAnd never consider them humorous.", "id": 15533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a phrase or a sentence you use\nHas two meanings, it's sure to confuse.\nAmphibologies vex\nAnd leave listeners wrecks.\nLet's avoid them\u2014we've nothing to lose.", "id": 15534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When it's Nisan, a month in the spring,\nSome Israelis will plan for a fling\nAnd a break from the job\nIn the summer\u2014say, Ab\u2014\nAt a lake with a hammock and swing.", "id": 15535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a fetus comes forth prematurely\nAnd struggles for life, doing poorly,\nIt's said to abort.\nWhen gestation's cut short,\nThen a pregnancy's dangerous, surely.", "id": 15536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abecedaries tutor us well\u2014\nHow to read, how to write, how to spell.\nThey're the primers in school\nThat our children find cool\u2014\nOr at least till the ring of the bell.", "id": 15537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ankle-biters, the smallest of tots,\nAre inexpert at fastening knots.\nBut untying our laces\nFrom low-level places?\nThese rug rats have aptitude\u2014lots!", "id": 15538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The abaculi set in the floor\nForm a pattern Italians adore.\nThese mosaics abound,\nAnd in Rome can be found\nFine terrazzo and smalto galore.", "id": 15540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These abdominalia adhere\nTo an anchor, a boat, or a pier.\nOnly Barnacle Bill\nHas the will and the skill\nTo keep everything cirriped-clear.", "id": 15541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alcaptonuria: Urine is dark,\nWhich is likely to prompt a remark\nFrom your pal, as you pee\nIn the park on a tree,\n\"It's the color of hickory bark!\"", "id": 15542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abiotrophy's wasting away,\nAs when tissue and cells start to fray.\nI've hit seventy-three\nAnd seen all I can see,\nSo I'm stopping that process today.", "id": 15543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abolitionary fervor arose\nIn the North among folks who were foes\nOf the owners of slaves\u2014\nThose fanatical knaves\nIn the South causing Africans' woes.", "id": 15544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many paleontology schools\nWill refer to bifacial-type tools.\nThose with round cutting edges\nWeren't good for the hedges\u2014\nSo learned some Acheulean fools.", "id": 15545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Prohibition was given a try,\nBut Americans drank on the sly.\nWhen the law was undone\nAnd abolishment won,\nAll the wets said, \"Here's mud in your eye!\"", "id": 15546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Nova Scotia's a place you can fish,\nOr engage in a Highlander's wish:\nPlay the pipes, do the fling,\nToss a caber, or sing\nAt the Festival Antigonish.", "id": 15547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a student of Latin, you face\nOn the blackboard: \"Accusative case:\nWhen a verb, in effect,\nMakes an object direct.\"\nThis is info your mind will erase.", "id": 15548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Each morning, Elizabeth eats a\nStale Pop-Tart, while Chris never meets a\nNew day without makin'\nEggs, toast, and some bacon.\nMy breakfast food? Hunks of cold pizza.", "id": 15549, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Academics may claim that the rabble\nAre sunk into babble and gabble.\nBut at least all us gits\nDon't just sit and pick nits.\nThe less sense, the more noisy the brabble.", "id": 15550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "B. thuringiensis (Bt)\nIs a germ that won't hurt you or me,\nBut a bollworm's thin guts\nIt'll rip into ruts,\nWhich is why all my cotton's GE.", "id": 15551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The thallus of Fucus is burned\nTo smoke fish on some islands, or turned\nAnd plowed under the dirt\nSo potatoes are fert-\nilized. Bladderwrack's not to be spurned!", "id": 15552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The bra, or brassiere, is a brace\nFor the breasts. Some are satin and lace.\nWhile functional cotton\nMay soon be forgotten,\nA few frills start a memory trace.", "id": 15553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "For most color-blind people, a bright\nCrimson bloom and its foliage might\nBoth appear the same hue\nBut retain color, too,\nWhile for achromats, life's black-and-white.", "id": 15554, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Annelida: thousands of worms,\nAll muscular tubes with the squirms.\nThey like dampness, not dust;\nSegmentation's a must;\nAnd some thrive without ova or sperms.", "id": 15555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Put a coin in that giz in our attic\nAnd it spits out a statement that's vatic\n(Prophetic) in verse\nTruly pithy and terse.\nIt's our grandmother's apothegmatic.", "id": 15556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Conquistadors prayed a quick Pater\nWhen the beast gaped, its mouth like a crater.\n\"El lagarto!\" they said.\n(That's \"The lizard!\") It spread.\nThe result \u2014 we now shout \"alligator!\"", "id": 15557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Brand-name authors are writers who'd sell\nEven though they might stop writing well.\nBrand-name products have names\nThat are trademarked. Court claims\nFor infringement are no bagatelle.", "id": 15558, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "This verse is my brainchild. Big wow.\nThe gods did it better, and how.\nSaid Zeus, \"Not tonight;\nI've a headache,\" and bright-\neyed Athena popped out of his brow.", "id": 15559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If you're feeling like filling your belly,\nAnolini are pasta (tortelli).\nThe anole, a lizard,\nMay grace a bird's gizzard,\nBut rarely a kitchen or deli.", "id": 15560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "My bongos are antelopes. Kudu\nAre, too, but the kudu don't moo. Do\nYou think your hip skins\nAre the limit? (She grins.)\nWell, I've got bigger bongos than you do!", "id": 15561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A nuclear war, Armageddon,\nIs probably where we are headin'.\nOur warhead production\nEnsures mass destruction.\nSleep tight \u2014 hope your blanket is leaden.", "id": 15562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For the arborist studying fir,\nAbietic's a word de rigueur.\nIt refers to the wood\nFrom a tree that you could\nSay is firm and erect, as it were.", "id": 15563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are folks in this Church, it appears,\nFor whom anagrams fall on deaf ears.\nBy reshuffling (I've heard)\nAll the letters, the word\nPresbyterians makes Britney Spears.", "id": 15564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antilymphocyte globulin's used\nTo ensure that a heart's not refused\nWhen a transplant's performed\nAnd the organ is stormed\nBy a body whose cells are bemused.", "id": 15566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the folks who are smartest depart,\nThen a national downslide can start.\nSuch an intellect drain\nMakes for trouble and strain.\nWithout brains, many countries lose heart.", "id": 15567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The girls act bizarrely and quirkily,\nEmbracing left causes while perkily\nKissing police\nAs they're marching for peace\nIn the People's Republic of Berkeley.", "id": 15569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bottle-fed infant is thought\nTo be lacking protection he ought\nTo receive from the breast.\nMother's milk is the best!\n(So I argued as shut-eye I sought.)", "id": 15570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To Brazilians, the samba is king;\nIt's a dance with emotion and zing.\nIn the '60s they wove a\nSubdued bossa nova,\nWhich passed with a sway and a swing.", "id": 15571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bubbly I sip from my flute\nHas a kick and a certain repute.\nIt's champagne that contains\nLittle sugar and reigns\nAs the driest of all, known as brut.", "id": 15572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many words of the Bard, it appears,\nSeared a Bowdler's Victorian ears.\nIt was Harriet, though\n(And not Thomas, her bro),\nWho would edit those arses to rears.", "id": 15573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though the dancers began the beguine\nFeeling rested, resplendent, and keen,\nAs the music wore on,\nThey grew weary and wan\nFrom their marathon dancing routine.", "id": 15575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We've a reign and a rein and a rain,\nBut they don't correspond or pertain\nTo arraign, which means \"charge\nWith a crime\"\u2014small or large\u2014\nThat, if false or inane, is a bane.", "id": 15576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The pains of bursitis now shoot\nThrough my shoulder; they're really acute.\nOf the drugs that can bring\nSome relief, let me sing:\nPhenylbutazone's truly a bute!", "id": 15577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Obstetricians say infants are best fed\nWhen mothers ensure that they're breast-fed.\nI'd have to agree,\n'Cause it worked well for me.\nWith a wet nurse, my babies got guest-fed.", "id": 15578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By commissioning multiple panels\nOf experts on cable news channels,\nWe'll demonstrate Fox is,\nOf chronicled poxes,\nThe most biased in broadcasting annals.", "id": 15579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An audiotypist named Woods\nWas involved in erasing the goods\nOn a Dick (what a schnook!)\nWho said, \"I'm not a crook,\"\nAfter hiring a staff full of hoods.", "id": 15580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At breakfast I'm asking that Mom let\nMe help when she's making the omelet.\nAs I'm cracking an egg,\nIt explodes on my leg\nLike a yolk-and-albumen-filled bomblet.", "id": 15581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A jubilant jumper is jouncy;\nA fabric with ruffles is flouncy.\nA ball made of rubber,\nA substance called flubber,\nAnd bellies with blubber are bouncy.", "id": 15582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Her date was attentive and gracious,\nBut favored his food alliaceous.\nHe ordered the fish,\nSuch a garlicky dish\nThat the kiss at the door was hellacious.", "id": 15583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a town on the Strait of Hormuz\nKnown as Bandar 'Abbas, you can cruise\nFrom Iran to Oman\nWith a stop in Dhahran.\n(These are places with very few Jews.)", "id": 15584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "In the home of the bean and the cod\nBoston Cabots speak only to God.\nIf you greet one with \"Hi\",\nDon't expect a reply \u2014\nThough a Lowell, of course, gets a nod.", "id": 15585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The act of enduring can be\nPretty hard on a young 'un like me.\nI have practiced abidance\nWithout any guidance,\nBecoming an orphan at three.", "id": 15587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This machine helps to polish your club;\nTake it slow or you're down to the nub.\nAn abrader is fast\u2014\nUsed the right way, a blast\u2014\nBut there's also a wrong way to rub.", "id": 15588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Shelley looks to the sky as a boy,\nTaking flight (in his mind) to employ\nHis ethereal sense.\nAs a man, he's intense,\n\"Dreaming visions of aerial joy.\"", "id": 15590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Auf Wiedersehen, Joseph! Goodbye!\nNo more College of Cardinals. (Sigh.)\nYou're a graduate now;\nDon't be having a cow\nWhen your first papal bull doesn't fly.", "id": 15591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Bathing baby is good for a laugh \u2014\nPut in water and foam, half and half.\nSoon the bubbles are smeared\nOn his chin, as a beard.\nHear the giggles! He loves \"buggle bahf!\"", "id": 15593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your vision's as good as I've seen\u2014\nTelescopic almost, it's so keen.\n20/20? No way!\n20/10, I would say.\nYour acuity's rare and pristine.", "id": 15594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A menagerie made out of glass\nWas owned by a lady of class.\nHer pride and her joy\nWas a donkey, and boy,\nHow she loved just to sit on her ass!", "id": 15595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "Abortive transduction occurs\nWhen a DNA segment transfers,\nBut it can't make a home\nWith the host chromosome.\n(Hey, she won't have him dossing round hers!)", "id": 15596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "There once was a pessimist, Jim,\nWhose half-empty glass made him grim.\nBut the optimist, Doug,\nFound a smaller-sized mug,\nAnd the glass filled it up to the brim!", "id": 15597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Try an 800 number\u2014the way\nTo make telephone calls and not pay.\nSince I'm lonely, not shy,\nAnd no charges apply,\nWhy, I'm dialing long distance all day!", "id": 15598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since my wife's wearing silks and sateens\nTo the fancy affair at Eileen's,\nI must go to that sucker\nIn best bib and tucker\u2014\nMy bowling shirt, flip-flops, and jeans.", "id": 15599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Eden live Adam and Eve,\nSo naive they're a snap to deceive.\nA duplicitous snake\nGets them both to partake\nOf an \"apple.\" (That's sex, I believe.)", "id": 15600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our cow has a pendulous bag\nUnderneath her that's starting to sag.\nHaven't milked her this week,\nSo her life's pretty bleak\u2014\nIt's an udder and absolute drag.", "id": 15601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Pacific is blooming today;\nAll the humpbacks are feeding on prey.\nAs they're getting their fill\nOf crustaceans (the krill),\nThey keep orcas, those killers, at bay.", "id": 15602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The frog that I had as a pet\nLooked a lot like a charcoal briquette.\nI've been skewering meat\nAt the grill, and the treat\nFor today will be frog en brochette.", "id": 15603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are states who've seen fit to design\nCollege funds for your children and mine.\nWith these plans, parents save\nBefore Junior can shave:\nLet's invest in a 529!", "id": 15604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Colored brindle or fawn, with white paws,\nFriendly boxers are dogs with square jaws.\nThey've a face (what a mug!)\nThat resembles a pug\nWho's been punched in the ring to applause.", "id": 15605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To hollow a hole in a hill\nFor a burrow, a burro named Bill\nHas to borrow a barrow\nThat's horribly narrow:\nHe's afeared of a hell of a spill!", "id": 15606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a chef in the Army named Jeff,\nA gourmet who is sightless and deaf.\nEvery doctor who took\nA good look at this cook\n(And his food!) said he can't be 4-F.", "id": 15607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the Battle of Austerlitz, troops\nUnder Bonaparte cheered him with whoops.\nBack in Paris, who knew\nThat the Russians withdrew?\n(This was long before CNN scoops.)", "id": 15608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Little Akbar, who once was a chap\nRuling India, stood for no crap.\nBut today, the poor Moghul\nWould sit there and ogle\nUs begging him, \"Say 'It's a trap!'\"", "id": 15609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For you seniors beginning to gaze\nAt both geezers and crones at soir\u00e9es,\nBicentennial Ball\nIs the bash with it all:\nCentenarians swinging both ways.", "id": 15610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Your saucy cuisine is outlandish!\nYou're a casserole Brando might brandish!\nThese statements I took\nFrom a recipe book:\nHow to Flatter and Blandish a Bland Dish.", "id": 15611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Can a bull who eats meat be a can-a-bull?\nIf his access is barred, is he ban-a-bull?\nIf he's out for a run\nFar too long in the sun,\nMight one side of his hide become tan-a-bull?", "id": 15612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Look around and you'll see, to your sorrow,\nThe needy who beg, steal, and borrow\nTo get through the day,\nWhile the billionaires play\nIn a world both unfair and bizarro.", "id": 15613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm expecting my tumor's benign\nAnd I'm not at the end of the line.\nStill I fear when I hear\nThat the doc has to peer\nIn my rear where the sun doesn't shine!", "id": 15614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's almighty voracious today\nAnd could eat him a horse, as they say,\nBut the soup kitchen doles\nOut a couple of rolls\nAnd a cupful of cold consomm\u00e9.", "id": 15615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The buck was almighty and strong\u2014\nOnce a currency doing no wrong.\nBut the system seems flawed\nAnd they're nervous abroad,\nFearing China's not playing along.", "id": 15617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a corner, I watch the QB\u2014\nCheck his eyes, in the hope I can see\nIf he's planning to throw.\nThere's an aerial\u2014whoa!\nI just let the receiver get free.", "id": 15618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many gridiron coaches agree\nThat the aerial game is a key.\nHave the quarterback throw\nAnd he'll score, doncha know?\nAs he might, making passes at me!", "id": 15619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Stallone can no longer deny\nThat for years his career has been dry.\nSome directors have said\nHe loves staying in bed\nVery late, so his sleeping dogs Sly.", "id": 15620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For this dragon, the weekends are free\n(Like his days) of all prayer, so you see,\nAll the havoc he'll wreak\nIn besetting the meek\nIs by preying on weak knights like me.", "id": 15621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're a man who is way oversexed;\nNow you're eyeing that guy. (I'm perplexed.)\nSince our wedding I've found\nYour surprises abound.\nWill I learn you're bisexual next?", "id": 15622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've wolfed down the chicken tostada,\nTen tacos, and carne asada.\nBring me seven more rounds!\nTopping four hundred pounds,\nI'm the boss\u2014yeah, the big enchilada.", "id": 15623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The dopers are running amuck,\nAnd the DEA agents seem stuck.\nHas the funding run dry?\nNo, the narcs are just high\nGetting way too much bhang for their buck.", "id": 15624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Akasaka's the Tokyo name\nOf a ward with a bit of acclaim\nFor its Western cachet.\nLet me add, by the way,\nThat spelled backwards, its name is the same.", "id": 15625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The genuine article stands\nAs a one-of-a-kind that commands\nOur attention. It's neat,\nBoth distinct and a treat,\nUnlike knock-offs of popular brands.", "id": 15627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our newspaper articles try\nTo inform, and five questions apply:\nNumber one, tell us who\nHas done what (that is two),\nThirdly when, fourthly where, lastly why.", "id": 15628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A belvedere, alcove, or nook\nIs my refuge for reading a book.\nI've a summerhouse, which\nIs the sanctum and niche\nWhere I hide from the meddlesome look.", "id": 15629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Acutifoliate bushes can prick\u2014\nLeave a puncture, a scratch, or a nick.\nThey have sharp-pointed leaves,\nSo I'll roll down the sleeves\nOn my shirt, which has fabric that's thick.", "id": 15630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a Paris Ramada one day,\nI had urgent distress (shall we say),\nSo I skipped to the loo\nAnd said how-do-you-do\nTo a new-fangled pot, the bidet.", "id": 15631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There is many a bush that deceives\nBy appearing benign, but aggrieves\nThe na\u00efve\u2014causing harm,\nLike a prick on the arm\nThat its acerate foliage leaves.", "id": 15632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Baron of Asbury Park\nCaught his watchman asleep in the dark.\nBegged poor Marcus, \"Oh God,\nMaster, spare me the rod.\"\nBut the Lord set a cane upon Mark.", "id": 15633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "J.S. Bach, a composer, tried poker;\nWon big when he bet like a joker.\nNow the bets that he lays\nAre on stocks, and these days\nHe gets praise as a Wall Street baroquer.", "id": 15634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Adversariness signifies foes,\nWith positions that clash or oppose.\nChoosing peace over strife,\nI defer to my wife\u2014\nWhen she yanks on the ring in my nose.", "id": 15635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mothering brisling declared\nTo a little one, \"Don't get ensnared\nIn the net by the pier.\"\nBut the brit didn't hear\nFor it seems he was herring-impaired.", "id": 15637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Bilbao all the natives have fun\u2014\nSome will sail, others bake till they're done.\nWhile the former might play\nOn the Bay of Biscay,\nIt's the latter who Basque in the sun.", "id": 15638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At this beer hall we patrons are wrecks,\nBut the waiters aren't bringing the checks.\nThey continue to pour\nTill a quarter to four\nAnd attend to our calls and our Beck's.", "id": 15639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sprinter was beaten by ploys in\nA race with a tough Illinoisan\u2014\nA flash who talked trash\nIn the hundred-yard dash.\n(One man's meet is another man's poison.)", "id": 15640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Annona's a genus of shrub\nThat is found in the tropics (and sub-)\nOf America, where\nCherimoyas are fare\nFor a fruit plate. Hey, thanks for the grub!", "id": 15641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Athenian general's grit\nIs unmatched, his opponents admit.\nAlcibiades wreaks\nSo much havoc that Greeks\nWho are fighting for Sparta all quit.", "id": 15642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a Mediterranean herb\nThat delights the Egyptian and Serb.\nWith a feather-like leaf\nAnd a flowery motif,\nIt's acanthine and bloomin' superb.", "id": 15645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "No matter what sneakers I'd choose,\nAching feet had me singing the blues.\nThen I found me a brand\nThat are comfy and grand.\nThey're Avias\u2014agreeable shoes.", "id": 15646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Of Brahmans and bovines they prattle;\nThey even speak beef in Seattle.\nOn the range I don't roam\u2014\nThe Big Apple's my home.\nI'm a man who's Manhattan (no cattle).", "id": 15647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a word for a personal maid\nFrom a character Beaumont portrayed\n(Or perhaps it was Fletcher?)\u2014\nA lady's young fetcher,\nNamed Abigail, offering aid.", "id": 15648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bible's our best-selling book\u2014\nInspiration wherever you look.\nBut begettings are rife,\nAnd the Author likes strife.\nAre the sex and the violence His hook?", "id": 15649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was an ant from Kilkenny\nWho wandered around, and on many\nOccasions (quite troublin')\nHe'd wind up in Dublin.\nThe reason? He'd lost his antennae.", "id": 15650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To a terrorist wearing a smirk, a\nFanatic who's turning berserk, a\nBig jerk named Osama:\nWe noticed your mama\nWears combat boots under her burqa.", "id": 15651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For workers, a 401(k)\nSeems a prudent investment\u2014the way\nTo accumulate sums.\nWhen retirement comes,\nWill they find there's the devil to pay?", "id": 15652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The chef at the Vatican's smart,\nAnd at breakfast he blazons his art.\nThe new Pontiff gets up\nTo hot joe in his cup\nAnd eggs Benedict served \u00e0 la carte.", "id": 15653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Amarantaceous indeed!\nCommon \"pig\" is the name of this weed.\nThose sesquipedalian\nWords are so alien;\nSmart Alecs ain't what we need.", "id": 15654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Asexual means only one\nIs required to get the job done.\nReproduction's a snap,\nWith no marital crap,\nBut there's no one to share in the fun.", "id": 15655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "We were stuck in a soggy clay gob\nBy a cow pasture close to Spruce Knob;\nTo the fence's top link\nFlew a bird burbling \"bwink\":\nSuitor bobolink, caped for his job.", "id": 15656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I demanded, \"I get the top bunk!\"\nBut my sister said, \"Never, you punk!\"\nThe two beds are both stacked,\nBut the strength that I lacked\nMeant she forced me to sleep in a trunk.", "id": 15657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Snowy Owl", "limerick": "O g, irresistible one!\nThy hand moves the Earth 'round the Sun.\nIn time I shall yield\nTo the pull of thy field,\nThough I fear I shall find me undone.", "id": 15658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The wheels that we ride on today\nMean our autos don't drag like a sleigh.\nWe build streets that are strong\nWhere our cars roll along,\nBecause where there's a wheel there's a way.", "id": 15660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "King Arthur to Guinevere said:\n\"Dear, I can't get you out of my head.\nWhen abroad, I obsess\nOn your tender caress\nAnd imagine a knight in your bed.\"", "id": 15661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biosatellites circled the earth,\nHauling humans and apes round its girth.\nWe engaged in a race\nTo be first into space:\nCritics questioned its prudence and worth.", "id": 15662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "His family is doubly depressed\nWhen a beekeeper goes to his rest\nLeaving all that he owns\nTo a Queen and her drones,\nThus completing his final bequest.", "id": 15663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An emergency broadcast we did\nSays America's missing a kid.\nIt's an Amber Alert,\nA response to avert\nOne more kidnapping, heaven forbid.", "id": 15664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Antipoverty programs were splendid\u2014\nIntended so need would be ended.\nYou might reckon our poor\nWould have vanished for sure,\nFor the billions of bucks we've expended.", "id": 15665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The Kooters' third son was named Ray.\nWhen he offered to marry young Faye,\nShe replied loud and clear,\n\"Yes, I'll take you my dear,\nBut your agnomination? No way!\"", "id": 15666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "There is nothing I'd rather do less\nThan play Payday or Scrabble or chess\nOr Parcheesi or Clue. It\nJust makes me sigh, \"Screw it;\nI'm bored with all board games, I guess.\"", "id": 15667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Certain experts I see on TV\nHave voices that buzz like a bee.\nLike a zombie they drone\nIn a robot-like tone;\nWith much boredom, I nod off to slee. .  . . . . . . . .", "id": 15668, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Got a problem that won't go away?\nIs that why you're starting to fray?\nWell, quit fussing about:\nKick that bugaboo out\u2014\nYour new life is beginning today!", "id": 15669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Friday's burial (poor Sister Claire)\nShould have been a most somber affair,\nBut the coffin was tipped,\nAnd the sister was flipped\nIn the hole on her cold derriere.", "id": 15670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "On the runway in Paris this spring,\nWoven hemp will be fashion's new thing.\nThey'll be looking so sleek\nIn the new shabby chic;\nIt's a dress made of burlap and string.", "id": 15671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "There's a bugbear here under my bed.\nYep, I'm sure, 'cuz I've just seen his head.\nLook! He ate my new shoe,\nAnd my teddy bear too!\nHear him growling?  I hope he's been fed.", "id": 15672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "We can win with a \"Hail Mary\" shot.\nFifteen seconds is all that we've got!\nThe quarterback bumbles,\nHe's sacked, now he fumbles\u2014\nEnsuring defeat on the spot.", "id": 15673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When you're tapping a vat or a cask,\nFind the bunghole and ready your flask.\nPull the cork. Pour the wine\nOr aged whiskey divine\u2014\nSweet rewards for the simplest task.", "id": 15674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If it's small yappy dogs that you shun,\nThen for you the Briard is the one.\nHe is true yet aloof,\nTaking little reproof.\nHe is loyal, but mastered by none.", "id": 15675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the soup cans I noticed the rust,\nAnd there's mold on the bread near the crust.\nI'll be passing tonight\nOn the dinner, all right?\nI don't want to be biting the dust.", "id": 15676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As children we walked two by two\nTo the park, at the fair, in the zoo.\nWe held hands every day\n(A fine system, I'd say);\nI've a buddy for life\u2014and it's you!", "id": 15677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A byname is something you take\nWhen your parents have made a mistake,\nLike the dancer named Gay\nWho informed us today\nThat his nom de ballet will be Jake.", "id": 15678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "In the barracks, a bed check will mean\nThat each soldier had better be seen\nIn his bunk for the night,\nOr it's likely he might\nBe recruited to clean the latrine.", "id": 15679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "When children go wrong it's a shame\nAnd sometimes it's solely their aim;\nIf apparently bad,\nMaybe Mother and Dad\nAs the parents should share in the blame.", "id": 15680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "On a lovely and clear autumn morn,\nRobert Frost took the road far less worn;\nA fair byroad of grass,\nWhere so few chose to pass.\nIn that moment sweet poetry was born.", "id": 15681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "There's a storm coming in with the tide.\nBatten down for a long bumpy ride.\nWe'll be tossed aft to stern\nAs the gale forces churn\u2014\nYou had best strap yourself to the side.", "id": 15682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I got bubble gum stuck in my hair.\nDo not frown!  There's no need for despair.\nWhen that huge bubble popped,\nBetsy-Lou I had topped\u2014\nNow I'm champ and the bubble gum heir!", "id": 15683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The besuited young men all look smart.\nPin-stripe clad, who can tell them apart?\nWearing ties made of silk,\nAs do men of their ilk,\nTheir executive dress is an art.", "id": 15684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "It's the surest of magical laws:\nJust one bite from a lycanthrope's jaws\n(That's a werewolf to you)\nAnd you'll turn lupine, too;\nA condition that gives people pause.", "id": 15685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There are so many works by Brancusi\nThat choosing is making me woozy\u2014\nHis refined Bird in Space\nIs a picture of grace,\nAnd that polished bronze head is a doozy.", "id": 15686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a number of shares of a stock,\nOr a cubical section of rock;\nAn obstruction you dread,\nOr a toy, or your head.\nThese are five of the meanings of block.", "id": 15687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Dear Robert, my love never stops,\nThough it welters through rises and drops.\nWhen I count all the ways\nI adore you these days,\nI get five. Maybe six. Seven tops.", "id": 15688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "My husband insists on a beard.\nIt surrounds his whole face and looks weird.\nIt is men's hair that grows\nAround cheeks, chin, and nose\u2014\nAnd in his case, has condiments smeared.", "id": 15689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the Pyrenees, snow-capped and piney,\nLies Andorra, a nation quite tiny.\nYou say countries so small\nAre worth nothing at all?\nYou're a dope and can go kiss my heinie!", "id": 15690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The teenager showed off his haul:\nThe hoody he wore to the mall;\nSome shoplifted bling;\n\"Oh, an' one uvver fing:\nGone an' got me an Asbo, an' all.\"", "id": 15691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There'sNoRoomOnTheFreewayToday;\nIt'sATypicalDayInL.A.\nHearThatJerkBlowHisHorn\nWhileWeSitHereForlorn;\nTraffic'sBumper-to-Bumper\u2014MakeWay!", "id": 15692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When Paul Ehrlich was looking for kicks,\nHe decided to use 606\nAs arsphenamine's name.\nThat's a compound whose fame\nComes from being a syphilis fix.", "id": 15693, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Get the sandpaper, work on the face\nOf the bracket, and turn it in place.\nRub the back; smooth that, too.\nDo a second, and you\nHave a brace, then, of braces abrase.", "id": 15694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since it's clear to both Tigger and Pooh\nThat the drubbings and thrashings aren't through,\nThey refrain from hobnobbin'\nWith Christopher Robin,\nA boy once too good to beat Roo.", "id": 15695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Ticks and mites? Things you just can't abide,\nAnd you'd rather not have them inside,\nSo you want them all dead,\nNot infesting your bed!\nWhat you need is an acaricide.", "id": 15696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Sir Elton gets truly excited\nWhen fans say \"milord.\" He's delighted\nBy being adored,\nBut goes out of his gourd\nWhen ignored by the dull and benighted.", "id": 15697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This spiny-finned fish has a knack\nOf escaping the line when it's slack.\nHe's an amberjack\u2014wooed\nBy an angler for food\u2014\nAnd when fried, makes an excellent snack.", "id": 15698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Mayberry, Opie was three\nWhen he heard of Muhammad Ali.\nThen to Andy he'd gloat\nAnd he'd claim: \"I kin float\nLike a butterfly, sting like Aunt Bee.\"", "id": 15699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anthozoans are creatures like coral,\nWith features both faunal and floral,\nThat hide in the nooks\nAnd allure with their looks,\nUsing polyps with hooks in a quarrel.", "id": 15700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An auxiliary verb, I would say,\nIs a word that could help every day.\nIf you will, it's a term\nThat might mean that you're firm:\nWhen you do have a will, there's a way.", "id": 15701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My dad is a vigorous jock;\nHis animalism can shock.\nHe'll be going out later\nTo rassle a gator.\nAs Mom likes to say, he's a croc.", "id": 15702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "In B-ball, it's often good sense\nTo show an aggressive defense.\nTo prevent your strong foes\nFrom making huge throws,\nMake your blocking game much more intense.", "id": 15703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Out of bed, in a charge, heading johnward . . .\nIt's the tenth time this night that I've gone\u2014word\nIs out that my bladder\nIs shot (nothing sadder):\nIt's half-a-leak, half-a-leak onward.", "id": 15704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When flowers won't blossom or swell,\nThey faultily form where they dwell;\nAnd their growth is abortive,\nLike verses so sportive\nTheir time is now over as well.", "id": 15705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's compressed to a flammable mass\nThat gives barbeque grilling some class.\nFor a cookout, I'm set\nOn the charcoal briquette.\n(Only fools use electric or gas.)", "id": 15706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some spiders will try to entrance,\nEven charm the antennae off ants.\nIt's a serious case\nThat arachnids can face\nWhen they lust for acerous romance.", "id": 15707, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a jokester\u2014and Sox fans agree.\nWith my \"Star-Spangled Banner\" off-key\nAt the ballpark today,\nI was singing, \"Jos\u00e9,\nCan you see any bedbugs on me?\"", "id": 15708, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What a kooky contraction is an't!\nThis colloquial term can supplant\nWords like aren't and ain't,\nEven amn't, a quaint\nLittle phrase others use, but I shan't.", "id": 15709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Blind tigers are taverns\u2014the kind\nThat can get themselves into a bind\nWhen the liquor they're selling\nIs moonshine, compelling\nTheir patrons to drink themselves blind.", "id": 15710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Atocha's a station in Spain\nWhere you might catch a passenger train.\nIt's a jewel of Madrid\nFundamentalists bid\nTo destroy, hoping terror would reign.", "id": 15711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Beslan, the terrorist shows\nThe depths to which wickedness goes,\nHaving goons in his squad\nKilling children\u2014for God?\nDamn this scum to perpetual throes!", "id": 15712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In restrooms in public, I've found,\nMany men are embarrassed around\nOther guys and can't stand\nTo perform on demand.\nBashful bladders annoy and abound.", "id": 15713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abreaction has brought a new dawn\u2014\nMy emotional baggage is gone!\nAll the stress of repressed\nInner fear was expressed.\n(See my therapist stifle a yawn.)", "id": 15714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "1080's a killer of pests,\nLike those rats who are worrisome guests.\nAdding sodium to\nFluoroacetate, you\nHave a substance to poison their nests.", "id": 15716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though Amanda and manly young Frankie\nWere primed for some hot hanky-panky,\nHer ardor turned cold\nWhen he had to keep hold\nOf his favorite Binky and blankie.", "id": 15717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and SheilaB", "limerick": "The compounds my donkey can haul,\nLike the acetals, ketones, and all,\nWill be used in cologne;\nBut if heated, they're prone,\nLike my ass, to have scents that appall.", "id": 15718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Abbasids carried the day,\nAnd from Baghdad these caliphs held sway.\nFrom Abbas they descended,\nAnd clearly intended\nTo rule in the family way.", "id": 15719, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "First I'm happy with nary a care,\nThen I sit all depressed in my lair.\n  For a day, life is great,\n  Then I sleep six months straight;\nYou could say I'm a bipolar bear.", "id": 15720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An accouterment to your new sweater\nAdds a bit, like a pin or a letter.\n Sure, you could go without,\n But there isn't a doubt\nThat accouterments help it look better.", "id": 15721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I'm brilliant!  A genius, alright?\nI'm quick, and I'm clever, and bright.\nWhen my lab's getting dim\nAnd my eyes start to swim\nThen it's night.  I should turn on the light!", "id": 15722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "You can use me when surfing abroad\nOr perhaps when your home is refloored.\nI am found after sail,\nSide, cup, plaster, and tail.\nSo what am I? That's right, I'm a board!", "id": 15723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With au bout de son latin, I convey\nMy exhaustion and mental decay.\nAt the end of my wits,\nI'll be calling it quits\u2014\nNo more Latin declensions today.", "id": 15724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The word antecedaneous holds\nOnly prior-placed things in its folds.\nIn less general terms,\nIt could point to those germs\nThat arrive with the chills before colds.", "id": 15725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't pronounce this word \"Africann-ESS\",\nOr you'll cause pretty maidens distress.\nAs these beauties are cuties,\nI feel that my duty's\nTo say it's just -NESS they possess.", "id": 15726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My absolver has freed me from sin,\nBut Saint Peter won't let me come in.\nHere I'm stuck at the gate\nWith a terrible fate:\nI've forgotten my password and PIN!", "id": 15728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The young astronaut wasn't much seen\nAfter NASA admitted he'd been\nCatapulted (poor Corbett)\nTo low lunar orbit\nWhile testing their moon trampoline.", "id": 15729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "First she speaks, then her husband agrees.\nEver nagging, it's obvious she's\nReally got the poor bloke\nIn a marital yoke.\nOft he jokes, \"Take my ball and chain, please!\"", "id": 15731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "I had a huge problem at work.\nMy boss would harass me, the jerk!\nHe's gaining enjoyment\nFrom my unemployment,\nBut ACAS will wipe off his smirk.", "id": 15732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "In appearance, we try to impress:\nFirst impressions may lead to success.\nSo if bibless while lunching,\nIndelicate munching\nMay lead to a need to redress.", "id": 15733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Acerbity: a sharp bitter taste.\nOn this, meaning two has been based:\nA bitter and cholic\nBad mood, vitriolic \u2014\nAll in all, really rather ill-graced.", "id": 15734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Asbestos is awesome, we learn,\nA most difficult product to burn.\nYou can cook it a lot\nAnd it never gets hot,\nBut it's toxic, and something to spurn.", "id": 15735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The resonant sound of a bell\nIs a bong; and the tube that I smell\nIn your living room there,\nAromatic with air?\nThat is also a bong\u2014I can tell!", "id": 15737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In bed with my wife, she says, \"Please,\nDisentangle your elbows and knees!\nThough you clamber with vim,\nWith your boniness, Tim,\nI would sooner canoodle with skis!\"", "id": 15738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A rather dumb blonde from Vienna\nGrew potted alcanna for henna.\nNow her hair's reddish brown\nAnd she's moved out of town\nTo teach Postmodern Thought in Siena.", "id": 15740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Two bakers, at first turtledovin',\nProgressed to some serious lovin'.\nTheir fun barely ceased\nWhen they found (without yeast!)\nThey were raisin' a bun in the oven.", "id": 15741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Aluminum cans by the train\nLead to profits (there's yet more to gain!).\nCould some copper compete,\nOr just sour the treat\nAnd make beer we would pour down the drain?", "id": 15742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "With the grace of a bull, they all pass\nThrough the china shop, shattering glass.\nWith the breakage in heaps\nThe proprietor weeps,\nWhile the grannies meander en masse.", "id": 15743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All hospitals keep it in stock\u2014\nAnesthesia that acts as a block,\nInterrupting the train\nOf the pain to your brain\nAnd explaining your love for the doc.", "id": 15744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Lanai, Dad's an ex-Illinoisan\nMaking malt using berries of boysen:\n\"My beverage won't sell\nWithout taro as well\u2014\nOne man's mead is another man's poi, son.\"", "id": 15745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A back-up that offers you nerve,\nA reliever who's known for his curve,\nAnd the White House's wings\nAre auxiliary things,\nSupplemental or kept in reserve.", "id": 15746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One region of Spain doesn't mask\nIts \u00e9lan and gets taken to task\nFor its willful esprit\nBy the powers-that-be\nIn Madrid. It's the Country called Basque.", "id": 15747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "If you like cooking meals made from scratch,\nUse this cut, allumette, on a batch\nOf potatoes.  Recall\nThat each piece should be small,\nMore precisely the shape of a match.", "id": 15748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For capital murder he's tried,\nBut escapes when his hands are untied.\nThen with fear and despondence,\nHe lives in abscondence.\n(He'd rather be hidden than fried.)", "id": 15749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The wines we are tasting today\nHave a piquant and cheeky bouquet.\nOne aroma is sweet,\nBut the other's effete.\nThe Verdicchio beats the ros\u00e9.", "id": 15750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A bushel's four pecks of some stuff,\nAnd four pecks of it's likely enough.\nWith your help on one side,\nIt lifts easily. I'd\nFind to lift it alone rather tough.", "id": 15751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some musicians say backup is grand;\nThey don't care to be leading the band.\nLet the players up front\nTake the heat and the brunt\nOf the flak when the music gets panned.", "id": 15752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The armor they wore when they sparred\nWas for keeping their biceps unscarred.\nEvery knight in a tussle\nProtected that muscle\nBy wearing a metal brassard.", "id": 15753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "It was on our first date that I fed her,\nThen hurried her homewards to bed her.\nHad we not been so wild,\nShe would not be with child.\nNow her father's insisting I wed her!", "id": 15754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Girls think boys are the bane of the earth \u2014\nThat there's nothing more lacking in worth.\nThey just fiddle with flies\nTill their innocence dies,\nThen they cause yet another boy's birth.", "id": 15755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In our grammar the accusitival\nNow faces uncertain survival.\nThere's a shadow of doom\nStalking them, him, and whom \u2014\nI shall miss they when faced with deprival.", "id": 15756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you claim or assume for another\n(Like Grandfather, Uncle, or Mother)\nThe right to this sand,\nThen you arrogate land\nThat is mine\u2014so be careful there, brother.", "id": 15758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My son's very bright; all the same,\nHis attendance at school is a shame.\nHis written excuses\nAre forgeries, ruses \u2014\nCould his cannabis use be to blame?", "id": 15759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my daughter gave birth, I felt skittish.\nThe midwife was trained and legit-ish,\nBut her accent was thick.\nStill her skills did the trick\u2014\n\"It's a boychick,\" she said (from the Yiddish).", "id": 15760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A meteorologist, Dwight,\nWas full of hot air every night.\n\"This job is a breeze!\nI can do it with ease!\"\nWonder why his predictions aren't right?", "id": 15761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a term known as ag that is short\nFor the word agricultural\u2014sort\nOf a way to lend charm\nTo the work on a farm.\nIt's the aggies of whom we make sport.", "id": 15762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's been searching all over the place\n'Cause I've hidden his cigarette case.\nEmphysema's no joke;\nHe's not getting a smoke\u2014\nHe can beg till he's blue in the face.", "id": 15763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Betty Boop made a sexy debut\nIn cartoons, but in time was taboo.\nWith those boobs and that butt,\nAll the censors yelled, \"Cut!\"\n(She'd created a boop-oop ado.)", "id": 15764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A proof or rebuttal that's made,\nA sermon that's meant to persuade,\nA dispute showing wrath,\nAnd a value in math:\nAll are arguments here on parade.", "id": 15765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're indicted and called to the court,\nWhere the charges are read, which report:\nYou've committed a crime\nWith some serious time.\nYour arraignment, by contrast, is short.", "id": 15766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Kansas, what topic is chief?\nIs it corn, is it wheat, is it beef?\nIt's the silly to-do\nOver faith and what's true:\nEvolution or Christian belief.", "id": 15767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're up every day with the sun\nAnd then out on the road for a run.\nIt's a grueling routine\nFor the future marine,\nBecause boot camp's not meant to be fun.", "id": 15768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Texan who's hunting near Denison\nPreys on the deer for their venison,\nBraises their sweet\nAnd delectable meat,\nAnd then praises the Lord in his benison.", "id": 15769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since Judas Iscariot kissed\nJesus Christ, he's now topping the list\nOf apostates and traitors.\nThe rest? Small potaters,\nDeserving just slaps on the wrist.", "id": 15770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mandolin, bass, and guitar\nJoin a banjo and fiddle to spar.\nIt's an improvised way\nFor musicians to play\nAnd make bluegrass (not country) the star.", "id": 15771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When oxygen's cooled, it will pass\nTo a far denser state where its mass\nIs a liquid that flows.\nWith a boiloff, it goes\nBack to vapor and, man, that's a gas!", "id": 15772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "night_writer", "limerick": "Every band wants great sound when they're live\nSo their show will succeed and survive,\nAnd a sounding board back,\nScallop-shaped, is on track.\nYes, a band shell will help them to thrive.", "id": 15773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "You were cold, which is why you said, \"BRR!\"\nAll I said is, \"Get tough or grow fur.\"\nYou went \"PHPHT\" back at me,\nI said, \"TSK,\" and then we\nStarted growling like grizzly bears\u2014\"GRRR.\"", "id": 15774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "I shout \"bravo!\" and \"encore!\" and \"more!\"\n(How I wish I'd proclaimed it before.)\nI've been longing for days\nTo award you this praise\u2014\nNow at last you've discovered the door.", "id": 15775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "This fellow's a bit of a lad,\nAnd he loves all the good times he's had.\nThe children he's fathered?\nHe couldn't be bothered\u2014\nYes, Deadbeat's the name of this dad.", "id": 15776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "AHF, also called Factor VIII,\nWhen it's absent leaves me in a state.\nIt's the stuff that I need\nIf I'm cut and I bleed;\nAs an agent for clotting, it's great.", "id": 15777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Acephalia's an ailment we dread,\nFor its meaning is \"being sans head.\"\nLook at fair Anne Boleyn,\nWho should surely have seen\nShe'd be headed for better unwed.", "id": 15778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Gotta sneeze 'cause I'm feeling a breeze:\nGonna freeze, ill at ease, geez Louise!\nAll the people just stare \u2014\nI should hide!  Under where?\nI'm exposed in my new BVDs.", "id": 15779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's aBERRance: a word I display\nIn an odd and an ABerrant way.\nDo the stresses I use\nServe to help or confuse?\nThey're anomalous. What can I say?", "id": 15780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the screen I'd have Robert De Niro\nDepicting an Eskimo hero.\nHis Nanook lives in Nome,\nMaking trinkets at home,\nIn the fictional Bibelot Zero.", "id": 15781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some children are bored when they climb\nFrom the school bus, then try to kill time.\nSuch unsupervised kids\nHit the afterschool skids\nAnd engage in misconduct and crime.", "id": 15782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Most mnemonics in math for my pop's\nYounger sister have proved to be flops.\nPlease Excuse My Dear Aunt\u2014\nSally's knowledge is scant\nOf the order of algebra ops.", "id": 15783, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A rug made of bearskin lies there.\nIt was crafted with skill and with care\nBy an artisan who\nSpent a full day or two.\n'Twas a lifetime of work for the bear.", "id": 15784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Some called Samuel Butler sarcastic,\nAcerbic,  verbose, or bombastic,\nBut folk Puritanical\nCalled him satanical\nBecause of his works hudibrastic.", "id": 15786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Three vampires from old Transylvania\nHad bats in their belfries (or crania).\nNot a neck would they bite\n'Til they'd scrubbed it pure white,\nFor abluto-, it's clear, was their mania.", "id": 15787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Growled the tiger to Siegfried, \"My boy,\nWon't you nosh on this morsel of Roy?\nI'm sure that you'll state\nAnthropophagy's gr-r-r-eat\u2014\nA true epicurean joy!\"", "id": 15788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Do you have any siblings?\" Oh gee,\nThat's a difficult question for me.\nMy brother was Dave\nBut no one could save\nThe man from depression's decree.", "id": 15789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "On a barrow they cart him away,\nBut it's under the barrow he'll lay.\nHis white bones may be found\nIn his own grassy mound.\nRest in peace for a very long day.", "id": 15791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stephenc", "limerick": "I reap through the bristly plain\n'Round my new buddy's mouth, and I deign\n(I think he growled \"please\")\nTo continue: I tease\nAnd start trimming the lion's great mane.", "id": 15792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I bought Auntie Maggie a fax\nIn one of those \"get money back\"s;\nBut the rebate upset her.\nTo make her feel better,\nI said, \"Auntie, kick back and relax!\"", "id": 15793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Each morning begins with a poll,\nAnd we read from the names on the scroll,\nShouting \"Bagel!\" then \"Bun!\"\nAnd \"Bialy!\"\u2014it's fun.\nHow we bakers love calling the roll!", "id": 15794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A boxer as brash as can be\nBy the name of Muhammad Ali\nGarnered fame for a gloat\nAnd a claim: \"I can float\nLike a butterfly, sting like a bee.\"", "id": 15795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Fate is bittersweet \u2014 balm and a knife \u2014\nAnd its cruel dichotomy's rife.\nOn the birth of our boy,\nIt resented our joy,\nSo she paid, my young love, with her life.", "id": 15796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When old Aesop, a classical Greek,\nWrote in fables that animals speak,\nMight a crow or a crane,\nFeeling peevish, complain,\n\"You've been putting those words in my beak\"?", "id": 15797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Porky Pig's corporation is small\nAnd just business-to-business (don't call).\nOr as Porky might say,\nIn his stuttering way,\n\"B2B, B2B, th-that's all.\"", "id": 15798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "He's so learned, he's almost unteachable.\nThe depths of his mind are unreachable.\nFor words, never lost:\nHe's a bibliognost,\nWith a knowledge of books unimpeachable.", "id": 15800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "In recorders, the block is what's there\nTo ensure that the flow of the air\nIn the mouthpiece collides\nWith the lip, and divides \u2014\nThus producing a sound I can't bear.", "id": 15801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "When creating vaccines, so I've read,\nYou use microbes and cells, live or dead.\nFor acellular brews\nIt's cell parts that you use\n(Or synthetic components) instead.", "id": 15802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Though I'm having a clear-out today\nAnd dumping a dusty array\nOf junk, I'll not ditch\nMy old boomerang, which\nI simply could not throw away.", "id": 15803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Thirty minutes of walking, they say,\nHelps you slim. For the very best way\nTo achieve loss of weight\nAt a reasonable rate,\nDon't walk slowly, but briskly, each day.", "id": 15804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ferlinghetti thinks notice is neat,\nAnd for Ginsberg, acclaim is a treat.\nBut Jack Kerouac's fame\nBrings abashment and shame:\nHe's becoming, well, read as a Beat.", "id": 15806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are aerodynes buzzing on high,\nWeighing more than the air in the sky,\nWhile the zeppelins there\nAre much lighter than air.\n(That's the reason why aerostats fly.)", "id": 15807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're praising my lips and my hair!\nSuch blandishments thrill me, mon cher.\nYou endeavor to charm me,\nCajole, and disarm me\nSo flattery gets you-know-where.", "id": 15808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Not a kin of the fiber called kemp,\nAbaca is a product of hemp.\nIn Manila I'm going\nBananas while blowing\nA year as a rope-making temp.", "id": 15809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the beach all the bullies come stand\nBy my blanket each day and kick sand.\nI'm a 90-pound wimp,\nJust an amyous simp,\nLacking muscles, but, oh, how I'm tanned!", "id": 15810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bologna, boloney, baloney:\nWhich spelling, if any, is phony?\nEvery one is okay;\nAnd I just gotta say\nThey're all nonsense and not pepperoni.", "id": 15811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A baroreceptor's a cell\n(Or a group of them) able to tell\nThat the pressure it senses\nHas changed; it dispenses\nA signal to neurons, as well.", "id": 15812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a trinket, a bauble, a chain,\nTry a region in Western Ukraine.\nIn South Zakarpats'ka,\nA $10 tchotchke\nSends $9.99 down the drain.", "id": 15813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This element's used to combine\nWith salicylate, making those fine\nPharmaceutical potions\nFor colon commotions.\n(Ain't nobody's bismuth but mine.)", "id": 15815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We'll go to Torino this year,\nWhere I'll watch the biathlon and cheer\nFor the skiers who shoot,\nAs my wife spends my loot\nIn buy-athlons by shopping for gear.", "id": 15816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Check my mouth and my ears? Yeah, that's fine.\nBut I'm guarding this body of mine.\nYou just ain't gonna study\nThat cavity, buddy\u2014\nThe one where the sun doesn't shine.", "id": 15817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He was hoping his stay would be briefer;\nHe's in jail just for smoking a reefer.\nBut he gets so laid back,\nSpends his time in the sack,\nSo what does he need to be free fer?", "id": 15818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Holy Rollers are truly devout.\n\"Oh, dear Lord!\" they'll repeatedly shout\nThrough a frightening drop\nTo the earth, though they'll stop\nWhen the coaster starts bottoming out.", "id": 15820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This Victorian bowl made of glass\nHas a silvery base adding class.\nIt's a basket the bride\nIs displaying with pride\n(While the bridegroom is grabbing her ass).", "id": 15821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've no butt I can bandy about\nSince I've taken the dieting route.\nAfter months I can see\n(At a hundred-and-three)\nThat my weight may be bottoming out.", "id": 15822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The buds and the leaves on the boughs,\nLike the shoots, can be eaten by cows.\nThey're the parts of a tree\nMany loggers agree\nAre a waste, and they're known as the browse.", "id": 15823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you're cutting a tree and you find\nThat your saw is beginning to bind\n('Cause the sides of the cut\nStart to pinch and abut),\nLike a logger, keep wedges in mind.", "id": 15824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ms. Streisand appears on the bill\nAt the Met in an opera\u2014a thrill!\nShe is driven each night\nTo the show in a white\nCaddy limo called \"Barbra's Seville.\"", "id": 15825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The batter is digging right in,\nSo the fun is about to begin.\nI'll be brushing him back\nWith a pitch he can't whack\u2014\nBaseball music to tune up his chin.", "id": 15826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A body check slows or impedes\nYour opponent, but sometimes it breeds\nThe avenging reply\nOf an eye for an eye\n(Although not from those chickens, the Swedes).", "id": 15827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a batrachotoxin in frogs\nThat inhabit Bolivian bogs.\nIt's a venom so strong\nThat it doesn't take long\nTo dispatch any frog-eating hogs.", "id": 15828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The armor that served as a guard\nWould be better to doff and discard.\nIt's so heavy he lies\nWhere he fell\u2014and can't rise.\nHe's been hoist with his own knight's petard.", "id": 15829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and mephistopheles", "limerick": "My body needs iron a lot:\nA deficiency, that's what I've got.\nSo I'm biting the bullet\nBy eating a pullet\nI recently peppered with shot.", "id": 15830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's how quickly explosives can get\nTo a maximum pressure and let\nOff a shock wave to shatter\nAll proximate matter.\nBrisance is a measure of threat.", "id": 15832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The explorer-priest's humour was not\nMuch aroused by the place card he got,\nFor he felt savage sinners,\nWhen giving priests dinners,\nShould not make them sit in the pot.", "id": 15861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Want to know why I screamed in your ear,\n\"You're a klutz!\" when you fell on your rear\nAfter slipping on ice\u2014\nNot just once, but then twice?\nTo add insult to injury, dear.", "id": 15862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't think animal-lovers are bland,\nFor compassion's a powerful stand.\nWould your boy march with Death\nIf he'd felt the warm breath\nOf a dormouse asleep in his hand?", "id": 15863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jon Kneller", "limerick": "When faced with a river or stream\nAnd crossing it's only a dream,\nDon't you get in a flap,\nJust try bridging the gap;\nThings are never as far as they seem.", "id": 15864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At weigh stations, trucks must delay\nWhile they check if their weight is okay.\nSo we put the good word in,\n\"Trucks, check on your burden,\n'Cause where there's a wheel there's a weigh.\"", "id": 15866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A buttercup under my chin\nReflects yellow; my daughter chimes in,\n\"There's the proof you like butter!\"\n\"Who doesn't?\" I mutter\nWhile flashing my cheesiest grin.", "id": 15867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Bacteriogenic diseases\nMay cause you some wheezes and sneezes\nOr far worse, there's no doubt,\nBut don't worry about\nEating bacteriogenous cheeses.", "id": 15868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "I think that it's blatantly clear\nThat my firm's had a bad fiscal year.\nI wanted a raise,\nBut instead, I got praise\nAnd a title change: Chief Volunteer!", "id": 15869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Alprazolam helps to bring peace\nWhen anxiety simply won't cease.\nBut take care how it's used,\nFor it's often abused.\nOnce you're hooked there's no easy release.", "id": 15870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Your skills at the table are skidding.\nFour diamonds? You've got to be kidding!\nI'll upgrade your bridge;\nGet me beer from the fridge.\nTake this hand. Count your points. Do my bidding!\"", "id": 15871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "His speeches are always the same \u2014\nSkip the issues, come out sounding lame.\nThis bozo is meant\nFor that rich one percent\nFor whom power's the name of the game.", "id": 15872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "His prospects were poor, rather bleakish.\nHis demeanor was sad; he looked peakish.\nDemoralization\nWas now his life's station.\nWas it his fault the market got freakish?", "id": 15873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The problem must soon be addressed.\nIt's making me anxious, obsessed.\nI need a solution,\nOr mental pollution\nWill drive me bananas\u2014I'm stressed!", "id": 15874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When a painting is dubbed Ashcan School,\nIt's not pleasant to see, as a rule.\nIt depicts city life\nWith its squalor and strife,\nFull of struggle and hardship most cruel.", "id": 15875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some children in public are brattish,\nObnoxious, annoying, and rattish.\nTheir behavior is rude,\nIt's disruptive and crude:\nAnd frankly, they drive me quite battish.", "id": 15876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "No, no. I've been tested and tried:\nWon't take money \u2014 just think of my pride!\nMe, bribable? Never!\nI'm bigger, more clever.\n(There's another door just round the side.)", "id": 15877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When a bassist is called for a date,\nHe's excited and pleased, feeling great.\nBut transporting his bass\nIs a different case,\nWhich can leave him extremely irate.", "id": 15878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "While a black dwarf emits little light,\nYet a star it is, in its own right:\nThere's no racism in heaven,\nYet for Disney the seven\nComprised no black star in Snow White.", "id": 15879, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Dusty the dust bunny's habit:\nIf it's moving, endeavor to grab it!\nHe repeatedly greets\nEvery ankle he meets\nWith a bound and a pounce! (Stupid rabbit.)", "id": 15880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "In America \"BOO-ee\" is said,\nBut it's \"BOY\" in the UK instead.\nWhatever it oughtta\nBe, fall in the water \u2014\nYou'll grab any buoy near your head.", "id": 15881, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "The lasses were gannin' 'boot toon,\nFit to chowk and so seekin' oot broon.\nThe boozah wez stowed\nSo they sat in the road\nWi' some brews and they drank them aal doon.", "id": 15882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Though some think my accent is quaint\nAnd others find cause for complaint,\nFor me it's quite clear\nAnd distinct to my ear\nThat my aunt's not an ant \u2014 no, she ain't!", "id": 15883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "With my gift of these eggplants, let's mend\nAll our fences and try to transcend\nWhat divides me from you\nAnd endeavor anew\nTo let bhaigans be bhaigans, my friend.", "id": 15884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Fellow felons consider it odd\nThat I steal the aquarium's cod.\n\"It's my preference to burgle,\"\nI sputter and gurgle,\n\"Not toil with a reel and a rod.\"", "id": 15885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We lawyers take phrases and cloak 'em\nIn a layer of Latinized hokum.\nAt this place is a phrase\nWe're avoiding these days.\nIpso facto, we say ad hunc locum.", "id": 15886, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "On a test called the Bender-Gestalt,\nA defendant who's charged with assault\nMade the circles all bunched\nAnd the figures all scrunched.\nThe psychologist muttered, \"Gevalt!\"", "id": 15887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you bow near the bow  of a boat,\nWearing bows on your toes and your throat,\nAnd you happen to fall,\nPlease be sure you recall\nHow to swim (or at least how to float).", "id": 15888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Academics on Tau Ceti Prime\nWrite each thesis entirely in rhyme.\nThey frame their conjectures\nIn musical lectures\nDelivered in three-quarter time.", "id": 15889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia and Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I've the bod of a model; it's cute.\nIt's cute, and it's stuffed in my boot.\nNot my footwear, you punk;\nIt is stuffed in the trunk\nOf my car \u2014 ain't late models a hoot?", "id": 15890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If airmailed, a letter might fly\nOvernight from Amman to Dubai\nAnd get posted on land\n(Unless terrorists planned\nFor the plane to explode in the sky).", "id": 15891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My daughter delights when I buy\nA banana or strawberry pie.\nWith her passion for fruit,\nShe's adorably cute\u2014\nBoth the apple and peach of my eye!", "id": 15892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The indefinite article's done\nWhen it says, \"Here's my noun, gotta run!\"\nBut if sounded as AY\nAnd then stressed, that's the way\nThat an a gets to say, \"Only one.\"", "id": 15893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Invading my womb is a critter\u2014\nIt's a parasite. I'm all atwitter.\nShould the blastocyst stick\nTo my uterus\u2014ick!\nWell, at least it's just one, not a litter.", "id": 15894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I was gonna make muffins, when \"Ooh!\"\nI had run out of fiber; I flew\nTo the shop, whereupon\nAll the \"good stuff\" was gone \u2014\nSo the store bran would just have to do.", "id": 15895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Spend the night?\" \"Take the barn,\" said the farmer,\n\"But my daughter \u2014 be sure you don't harm her.\"\nWell, his wife's been to school,\nKnows the jokes, is no fool,\nSo the daughter wears full-body armor.", "id": 15896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Want fresh cream on your back-country spread?\nBuy some Guernseys \u2014 for milk they've been bred.\nFor a barbecue treat,\nThough, you'd really want meat.\nRaise some beef cattle (Angus!) instead.", "id": 15897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A belt's not required to dance,\nBut you ought to leave nothing to chance.\nWith a few belts of Scotch,\nA fine yuppie named Koch\nWent to bed and woke up without pants.", "id": 15899, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Snagging woodchucks? I don't think he'll larn,\"\nObserved Ma.  Pa replied, \"Well, goldarn!\nHis shooting's so lousy,\nDon't fret 'bout the cows; he\nCan't shotgun the side of the barn.\"", "id": 15900, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Barbiturate drugs are a class\nThat will knock you down flat on your ass.\nTo enjoy their effects\nYou will need an Rx,\nOr police are inclined to harass.", "id": 15901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My brother Horatio is gifted.\nHe can fly\u2014like the time he was lifted\nRight up to the attic\n(He's quite aerostatic)\nWhen drafts in our house slightly shifted.", "id": 15902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I went nightly to hear Michael play\nAt a bistro on Seventh and Clay.\nWe shared laughter and wine,\nAnd then later we'd dine.\nNow it's coffee we share every day.", "id": 15903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I call for my pipe and my bowl,\nBut my butler's a butthead and droll.\nSo he brings me a fife\n(Not the joy of my life)\nAnd a potty\u2014he's out of control!", "id": 15904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Shiitakes and c\u00e8pes are a class\nOf mushrooms whose spores form a mass.\nA shaggy-maned sponge, I\nMooch acervate fungi\nFrom grocers who happen to pass.", "id": 15905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My attorney's an oddball (but still!);\nHe is drafting my will with a quill!\nNot his usual fashion:\nHis laptop keeps crashin',\nAnd where there's a way there's a will.", "id": 15906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A saxophone student with crassitude\nHas farted his way through the class \u00e9tude.\nEven worse than his grossness?\nExtreme bellicoseness\u2014\nThis dude is exuding badassitude.", "id": 15908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the calculus match, they were tested;\nAnd the favorites, the hometown team bested.\nThere were parties, parades,\nAnd the mayor's brigades;\nIn the aftermath, Steven then rested.", "id": 15910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "We have made our whole house automatable.\nYet the project's success is debatable.\nWe have robot au pairs,\nAnd use jetpacks, not stairs,\nBut we can't get insured: we're unrateable.", "id": 15911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "What a girl, that three-breasted Monique!\nWhat a quirk in her upper physique!\nOh, I tried not to stare,\nBut the girl's got a spare,\nAnd I'd give both my eyes for a peek.", "id": 15912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As an artist I want you to buy.\nMy designs must appeal to your eye.\nSo with sweeps and a curve,\nWith panache and sheer verve,\nHere's a stunning new blobject to try.", "id": 15913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Not all ladies are skinny, it's true;\nSome are plumper, but that's nothing new.\nWhen you cuddle and kiss\nWith a shapelier miss,\nCall her butterball, pal, and you're through.", "id": 15914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Acts of God, we most fervently pray,\nWon't befall any people today.\nSo, dear God, if You're there,\nAnd You're hearing my prayer,\nWould You mind simply staying away?", "id": 15915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Pat the cat was so fat, when he sat\nOn a mat, his great fat made a splat!\n\"Drat!\" he spat, \"Look at that!\nWhere I'm at was my hat!\nNow it's flat as a gnat on a slat!\"", "id": 15916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "It would seem, if you had half a brain,\nThat I just wouldn't need to explain:\nWhen you go to slice bread,\nCut it lengthwise, instead;\nNot against\u2014cross the width of\u2014the grain.", "id": 15917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"See my foot? Note the way that I stagger,\"\nMr. Obelus said. \"Tried to shag 'er,\nBut she's quick with a knife.\nEver run for your life\nFrom a fight with a lass with a \u2020?", "id": 15918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "She was mad as she boarded my yacht\nTo announce that she quit on the spot.\n\"This whole boat's like a thresher!\nThe crew's under pressure!\nA barophile, Captain, I'm not.\"", "id": 15920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He's a breaststroker: just watch him swim.\nThough on land we all know he's quite dim,\nHis big feet turn right out\nAnd his pull packs a clout \u2014\nBut don't tell him that frogs swim like him.", "id": 15921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Abbey ale's what we brew here, we Trappists.\n(We're in Belgium, for all of you mappists.)\nStrong and rich, full in body;\nAs sweet as a toddy.\nI'm glad that we're brewers, not frappists.", "id": 15922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The girl may look simply incredible,\nAdorable, loveable, beddable:\nBut the fact of the matter?\nShould you act on the latter,\nYou'll learn that she thinks that she's weddable.", "id": 15923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "These mushrooms, although they're quite small,\nAren't really like buttons at all.\nThough they're rounded and white,\nThey're more tempting to bite,\nAnd if sewn on a coat, they'd appal.", "id": 15924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Your chart says your blood type is A,\"\nSaid the pretty lead nurse, Sister Faye.\nBut I answered her, \"No,\nI'm quite sure I'm Type O\u2014\nThat Type A is a typo, I say.\"", "id": 15925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the modernist trend to PC,\nChristian tenets are not QED.\nNo one sect to promote,\nIt's correct now to note\nDates BC are now marked BCE.", "id": 15926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though it borders on anecdotes corny,\nThere's a pub for old goats who are horny.\nIt's Ye Olde Billy Club;\nCops will give you a drub\nIf the bleats of the gals sound too porny.", "id": 15927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A butterfly's great to behold:\nWings of orange and black, or of gold;\nBut it poisoned the palate,\nEmployed in the ballot\nFloridians used to unfold.", "id": 15928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A pelican's purpose is mainly\nTo demonstrate, clearly and plainly,\nThat natural selection\nAffords no protection\n'Gainst getting a bird so ungainly.", "id": 15929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "The Ave Maria's a prayer\nSaid by Catholics everywhere.\nLatin gives it more class\nThan that famed football pass\nWhere the ball's just flung up in the air.", "id": 15930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The vessel that's used to hold sauce\nFor the salads my wife likes to toss\nIs what's known as a boat.\nAnd I checked\u2014it'll float\nIn the bath (but my wife became cross).", "id": 15931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The rumor is hot, so let's bruit it\u2014\nNo time to confirm or refute it.\nThough maybe it's truthless,\nThe grapevine is ruthless;\nWe got us some bull\u2014gonna shoot it.", "id": 15932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"Cousin Bob, you'd do well with some centering.\"\nUnresponsive, he scoffed at my mentoring.\nIn the end Cousin Bob\nAnd his burgling mob\nDid a nickel for breaking and entering.", "id": 15933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "In a rut? You should try a new groove;\nIt's important to grow, make a move.\nA new bag's what you need;\nYou were stuck, now you're freed!\nGet a move on, you've something to prove.", "id": 15934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "His affection's aflame; his great ardor\nIs increasingly making it harder\nTo quench his amour.\nHe's becoming a boor\u2014\nLet's go find us some ardor retarder.", "id": 15935, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "He farted, which started the air\nTo rush over here, over there.\nAn aeriferous vent\nTook the scent as it went,\nAnd it fouled where it went without care.", "id": 15936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The quarterback's calling it quits\n'Cause his linemen and backs are the pits.\n\"The safeties surround me,\nThe linebackers pound me\u2014\nMy blockers can't pick up the blitz!\"", "id": 15937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sip of this wine and I'm witty;\nA few glasses more makes me flitty.\nMy ninth bardolino\nIs way too much vino,\n'Cause even the bouncer looks pretty.", "id": 15938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I brought deadly projectiles of lead\nAnd a rifle.  My buddy Chuck said,\n\"Go ahead \u2014 fire a bullet!\nThat trigger, there \u2014 pull it!\"\nMy aim was off; Chuck is now dead.", "id": 15939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To the Buddhist, enlightenment's path\nShows a certain immutable math:\nWhether eightfold or four,\nThis religion's got more\nNumbered points than the other ones hath.", "id": 15940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The beautiful people are those\nSporting jewelry and fabulous clothes.\nThey vacation in France,\nGo to discos to dance,\nAnd besprinkle their speech with bon mots.", "id": 15941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the gal who's an exercise staller\nAnd an indolent, oversize crawler:\nTake that step class at noon\nAnd aerobicize\u2014soon\nYou'll be wearing a robe a size smaller.", "id": 15942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Lindsay Wagner's the woman for me\u2014\nBoth bionic and cute as can be.\nAnd imagine which part\nOf her body I'd start\nTo employ if she'd only agree.", "id": 15943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Does the pondering prof ever wonder\nWhat drives her assemblies asunder?\nWith no hope that they'll pass,\nStudents exit en masse,\nSure that taking this class was a blunder.", "id": 15944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The six-year-old gazed, bright eyes wide,\nAt the sparkling fairground, and cried\n(As the bumper cars rumbled,\nEnticingly jumbled),\n\"Oh please, can I have just one ride?\"", "id": 15945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "It's a loud-celebrations-and-mirth-day,\nAnd a what-have-these-years-all-been-worth?-day.\nThirteen springs since your birth \u2014\nWell, whatever they're worth,\nZoe Lou, have a rockin' good birthday.", "id": 15946, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Deep in woodland, my dog got her fur\nBadly snarled up with seeds. Silly cur!\nThey are sticky and prickly\n(Not picked out so quickly).\nWhat a job: finding burr after burr.", "id": 15947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A lisping young rose would pursue\nA botanical sweetheart to woo.\n\"I'm wild as a panther!\nPray give me your anther!\nI'm pointing my pithtil at you!\"", "id": 15948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "At wine fests the grapes are well trodden\nBy feet 'til they're pulpy and sodden.\nBacchants and bacchantes\nMake dandy chiantis\nThrough wild bacchanalian ploddin'.", "id": 15949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Graham Lester", "limerick": "The women are blonde there and thinnish.\nShout \"akka\"?  You'll only diminish\nYour chance to get kinky\nWith gals in Helsinki,\nAnd whatever you start, you won't Finnish.", "id": 15951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Will this airplane fall out of the sky?\nIf a DVT strikes, will I die?\nActuarial questions\u2014\nOr autosuggestions?\nNo matter: too risky to fly!", "id": 15952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Many brownstone apartments were rank:\nClaustrophobic, neglected, and dank.\nBut astute renovation\nAnd gentrification\nHave made them look terribly swank.", "id": 15953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The absolute essence of Britishness?\nA resolute absence of skittishness\n(They ruled all the waves\u2014\nNever, never were slaves!)\nAnd an upper class known for its twittishness.", "id": 15954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "After three had departed the ranks,\n\"Bullet Boob\" slyly paid up with thanks\nTo the starter and said,\n\"Well, the fastest are dead,\nSo perhaps you should switch back to blanks.\"", "id": 15955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "This puss was abandoned, James knew,\nAnd a stray takes a risk near a zoo,\nSo he whispered, \"Here, kitty,\"\nAnd held out, from pity,\nA hand \u2014 but the tiger took two.", "id": 15956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He's a charming young man on the whole.\nAmbassador-at-large is his role.\nHe will touch diverse guys,\nFrom loud Turks to proud Thais,\nWhen he's not on a barge with a Pole.", "id": 15957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You will find, if you're highly renowned,\nPaparazzi keep sniffing around,\nBut a worse cur, I think,\nAnd a mutt who craves ink,\nIs the darned dogged autograph hound.", "id": 15962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"You'll have gold,\" swore the chief, \"Little Rose,\nOn your fingers, and ears, and dear toes.\nYou'll have gems, silken braids,\nSatin dresses, and maids,\nAnd an awl to stick rings through your nose.\"", "id": 15963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "One night the inspired Mr. Argand\nRequested a glowing cigar and\nThen lit the round wick\nHe'd designed. What a trick!\nIt shone bright as the Milky Way star band!", "id": 15964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though ag's guttural, short, and Germanic,\nAnd Afrikaans-English, don't panic!\nAg, use it like this,\nAnd ag, then you can't miss,\nWhether scholar or tongue-tied mechanic.", "id": 15965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Am, are, is (plural are, are, are) are\nSimply forms of to be, which we mar\nIf the I, you, he (and\nPlural we, you, they) stand\nWrongly matched when we is below par.", "id": 15966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Boltzmann constant? Relax. Easy-peasy.\nIt's physics, but won't make you queasy.\nUsed with gas, it's a gas:\nTake the temperature, mass,\nTimes the constant, get energy. Easy!", "id": 15968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Once it whispered sly secrets to Eve\nAs it hissingly sought to deceive,\nThen it slid out of sight,\nTill one sultry, still night,\nAs an asp, it saw Caesar's son grieve.", "id": 15970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In his world-record bid, Freddie failed,\nDespite the great height that he sailed,\nFor the pole vaulting rules\nAre enforced by old fools\nWho disqualify those who're impaled.", "id": 15971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Pronounced \"AK-shaf\", old Achshaph in Canaan\nHas only sad ruins remainin',\nFor many attacked it,\nAnd Joshua sacked it\nWhile Ashers were loudly complainin'.", "id": 15972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the three-legged race, Mrs. Pegg\nAnd the Headmaster tripped on a keg\nThat was rolled by a boy\nDown the track to annoy \u2014\nWhich it did, for they shattered their leg.", "id": 15973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "So athletic's the long-legged emu\nHe's very unlikely to deem you\nHalf worthy of racing\nThose limbs he loves gracing.\nHe knows that on one he could cream you.", "id": 15974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I had asked, \"Is it working now, Liz?\"\nSo my eight-year-old comedy whiz\nSat and watched, like The Thinker,\nMy on-the-blink blinker:\n\"Yes, it is . . . no, it's not . . . yes, it is . . . \"", "id": 15975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Kindly note there's a ban in this zoo\nOn the feeding of animals. You\nMay donate food instead\nTo those much less well-fed:\nSimply hand it to one of our crew.", "id": 15976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bloody chunk of raw wood feared by cocks.\nLifting pulley that squeaks at the docks.\nOnly part of a mass.\nCauses failure to pass.\nKeeps our stores in a street-bordered box.", "id": 15977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A famed feminist's common complaint\nIs that boy toy she bloody well ain't.\nThough no plaything for men,\nShe resists a bit when\nFrazzled toy-boys request her restraint.", "id": 15978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "To aficionados, the pull\nOf the bullring is more than just bull.\nSome applaud sequined skill,\nWhile the sickest feel ill\nWhen those sequins aren't gored to the full.", "id": 15979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "On Bonfire Night Britons remember,\nRemember the fifth of November,\nThe gunpowder, treason,\nAnd plot, for the reason\nFawkes failed to leave even one ember.", "id": 15980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Famous gourmet, Sir Fauntleroy Fry,\nHad ignored the spilled soup on his tie,\nBut advised with a frown\nWhen it kept running down,\n\"My dear boy, there's a soup in my fly!\"", "id": 15981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The Celts who now jabber \"Bejabers!\"\nAre not kilted Scots tossing cabers.\nThose proud Celtic guys\nWho thus jabber surprise\nAre, bejabers, the Scots' Irish neighbours!", "id": 15982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The beam-riding missile's colliding\nDepends on computerised guiding.\nTracking conical streams\nOf strong microwave beams,\nIt gives targets a really good hiding.", "id": 15983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "If you see what you're looking for here,\nYou're not likely to need it, I fear.\nYou can't really need much\nThe bifocals and such\nWe opticians display and sell dear.", "id": 15984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The limerick's too often viewed\nAs a verse that's capriciously lewd.\nIt is righteous to vex,\nWith both satire and sex,\nOily posers and perverts caught nude.", "id": 15985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't ever appease those whose bomb\nIs designed to demolish your mom,\nAnd your dad, and your wife,\nAnd your kids, and your life \u2014\nAll of whom it will tear you right from.", "id": 15986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Yer Victorian gent wasn't choosy.\nIf he fancied a fling with a floozy,\nHe might even poke\nAt an old artichoke\nIf she wasn't too scabby and boozy.", "id": 15987, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When magicians shout, \"Abracadabra!\"\nOdd objects, like lit candelabra,\nDisappear in a puff \u2014\nDamn! I don't have enough\nValid rhymes to end off with an \"-abra\"!", "id": 15988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The unicorn's famed for his horn\nAnd the fact that he's never been born.\nHad he kind of existed,\nHe might have enlisted\nTo clear the park's litter-laced lawn.", "id": 15989, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The Almighty (you know him as God)\nSuffered children so sinful and odd\nThat He passed His long days\nGiving thought to new ways\nTo stomp harder on those whom He trod.", "id": 15990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A befuddled old doctor named Dillon\nBemoaned being classed as a villain.\nYes, he did lose a few,\nBut he knew what he knew,\nAnd that didn't include penicillin.", "id": 15991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When you pilot a plane, day or night,\nAnd you don't want a truncated flight,\nJust be sure that you tell\nOther planes \"ASL\"\nWhen you're asked your location and height.", "id": 15993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "As a showpiece in fairground or hall,\nHe held the Calcuttans in thrall.\nEverybody went wild\nFor this two-headed child:\nThe Bicipital Boy of Bengal.", "id": 15994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An old British justice named Glover\nOnce murdered his wife and her lover.\nA clue was then found:\nHis wig on the ground!\nBut you can't book a judge by his cover.", "id": 15995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When words writ with wit we alliterate,\nSleek sibilant syllables iterate!\nWhirled widely by poets,\nAnd other wise know-its,\nPerchance to enhance, not obliterate.", "id": 15996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My blood flow was never chaotic,\nMy arteries never spasmodic.\nI had great admiration\nFor my blood's circulation\nTill I learned it was atherosclerotic.", "id": 15997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I always have felt an attraction\nTo Hollywood heroes in action.\nSylvester Stallone\nMakes me quiver and moan,\nAnd Clint Eastwood?  Complete satisfaction!", "id": 15998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.\nOpen mouth, take a plum, put it in.\nEvery vowel? It's rounded.\nEvery consonant? Sounded.\nSpeak BBC English, and win!", "id": 15999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Almost all the ship's rigging was tight\u2014\nNew lines! but the hull was a sight,\nAnd it leaked more each day,\nSo the captain would say,\n\"My barque is much worse than my bight.\"", "id": 16000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Let me share this invention I've found!\nIts novelty's sure to astound.\nWatch it turn up the soil\nWithout any toil.\nIt certainly does break new ground.", "id": 16002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Three-breasted, LeAnn's in demand;\nIn her bosom's one more than God planned.\nA vodka martini\nRemoved her bikini\u2014\nHey! Only the middle one's tanned!", "id": 16003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They're called beer goggles, glasses you wear\n(Though there aren't really spectacles there)\nWhen you've too much to drink\nWhich then leads you to think\nRoseanne Barr's a dead ringer for Cher.", "id": 16004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The bail bondsman had to respond\nTo this note from the suspect Lemond:\n\"I've no money at all \u2014 it's\nYour whatchamacallits\nI need.\" His reply: \"The name's bond.\"", "id": 16005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When my wife's feeling mad, she asserts\nI'm the cause of her anguish. She blurts,\n\"You're a horrible guy!\"\nTo her shriek I reply,\n\"Hon, your audio frequency hertz!\"", "id": 16006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "For percussion, this hip-hopper's song\nGot no timpani, cymbal, or gong.\nIt's an ill finger-snapper:\nThe beatboxing rapper\nMakes beats with his voice all along.", "id": 16007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bookmaker's only regrets,\nAs he tallies his customers' bets,\nAre concerning the bite\nHe insists isn't right\u2014\nThat's the cut that the government gets.", "id": 16008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Butcher Danny has such a dumb clerk.\nBacking into the grinder, this jerk\nJumped away with a scream.\nButcher Dan, it would seem,\nGot a little behind in his work.", "id": 16009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "So you want your new limerick to sing?\nProper rhyming must first be your thing,\nAnd the meter, i.e.,\nAnapestic, is key,\nBut Line 5 is the place to add zing!", "id": 16010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I returned from the spiraled Andromeda\nMaxed out on my Buick's speedomeda.\nOh, the overage fees\nWhen the Avis guy sees\nForty-trill on that rental's odomeda!", "id": 16011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The hills are alive with the sound\nOf music, Maria has found.\nThey'd be quiet, no doubt,\nIf she'd just do without\nAll that singing and dancing around!", "id": 16012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Dashing rake drove his buggies with force.\nGreat-great-granddaughter's calmer, of course.\nHer baby will ride\nIn a buggy with pride,\nThough propelled by his mum, not a horse.", "id": 16013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "General Nuisance called staff to a meeting;\nPrivate Matters' attention was fleeting \u2014\nNot an admiral trait.\nColonel Korn set his fate:\nCorporal Punishment gave him a beating.", "id": 16014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The ad called it \"airy and light,\nWith views of the city at night.\"\nThree bedrooms, one bath,\nBut the walls were just lath.\nIt was certainly airy, all right!", "id": 16015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "He's obsequious, no one disputes;\nHow he fawns o'er execs in their suits.\nHe's a low-hanging fruit picker \u2014\nGod, what a bootlicker!\nYou'd think that they wore chocolate boots.", "id": 16016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Greek army is just a tad kooky,\nWhich makes their success somewhat flukey.\nWith mandolins raised\nThey attack, quite unfazed \u2014\nEach one armed with a loaded bouzouki.", "id": 16017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Here's the buzz on Belize\u2014the bee's knees!\nTrouble finding it? Please, it's a breeze:\nGuatemala's southwest.\nThat's on land, as you guessed\u2014\nHere in Web-land, the key's the bz's.", "id": 16018, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You are seeking the meaning of bow-wow?\nEven infants can point out a \"wow-wow\"!\nIf you're still in the dark\nThat it's dogs and their bark,\nMaybe you and your parents should pow-wow.", "id": 16019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Although Mother Nature's polluted,\nThe culprits are mostly ill-suited\nTo act when she's dirty:\nMen rightly get shirty\nWhen pressed to keep mothers abluted.", "id": 16020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There's a loopy-tailed character that\nNow allows half the planet to chat.\nWhen your e-mails cross seas\nAnd deep oceans with ease,\nPlease remember to thank the great @.", "id": 16021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I feel like I've been here before:\nAs a sailor, a priestess, a whore.\nI've been there, I've done that\nSo don't think it's fun that\nI've reincarnated once more.", "id": 16025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There's a fable that's told by the locals\nOf a Grecian whose name was Androcles\nAnd the thorn he could tweeze\nThanks to fine spectacles\nWith split lenses; we call them bifocals.", "id": 16026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Charlie Mingus showed dignified grace\nAs he ran from home plate to first base.\nHe wrote \"HIT!\" in the dust\u2014\nOn the baseline, I trust,\nSince the letters were all uppercase.", "id": 16027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Master P, all the homies and cronies\nThink it's wack that you fox-trot with phonies.\nBut your dancin' is hot,\nAnd it's takin' a lot\nOf that ballroom to hold your co . . . urage.", "id": 16028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some mysterious force is applied\nIn black boxes, so what do they hide?\nThough we know, without doubt,\nWhat goes in and comes out,\nWho can tell what the hell is inside?", "id": 16029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Vegetarians favor cuisines\nThat are heavy in grains and in greens.\nHow to clear any room?\nTry the airy legume\u2014\nThat unbearable blight that is beans.", "id": 16030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "To stay slim, Trish would go on long treks.\nFor a joke, I had told her friend Lex,\n\"Steal her mirror, then swap\nWith a carnival prop,\nSo her body will look biconvex.\"", "id": 16031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "To cast bread on the waters: an old\nWay of saying your charity's bold.\nAnd by giving this way\nYou may find out some day\nUnto you good returns seven-fold.", "id": 16032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "If you love seeing sunset's last gleams\nOn the northern Atlantic, it seems\nThe appropriate region\nIs someplace Norwegian\nLike Bergen, the place of fjord dreams.", "id": 16033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I don't have a fear of your cleaver:\nIn my chin defense, I'm a believer.\nI asked them to forge it\nAs part of my gorget\nSo you can be hard on the bevor.", "id": 16034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "For a metal (or alloy as well)\nUse the number defined by Brinell\nTo measure the hardness\n(It's force over marredness).\n'Least that's what I learned at Cornell.", "id": 16035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Virge", "limerick": "Shove hydroxyl's H out with a metal\nAnd alcohol loses its fettle.\nA salt will appear\u2014\nAn alkoxide, I fear.\nTo this lush, that puts fish in the kettle.", "id": 16036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From the west came a small delegation\nTo meet chiefs of the east occupation.\nThey sat in debate\nOn how best to create\nBizonal control of the nation.", "id": 16037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Peripherals we can enable\nDemand bidirectional cable.\nThey duplex the bytes\nFor reads and for writes,\nAnd tangle in back of the table.", "id": 16038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I said, \"'Yellowish alloy of copper\nAnd zinc' is distinctly a proper\nDescription of brass,\"\nIn my lame, brazen pass\nAt the radiant light fixture shopper.", "id": 16039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If it's straightened or swept with a broom,\nThat won't make it a bioclean room.\nYou should keep within reach\nDisinfectants like bleach:\nOn bacteria, lower the boom!", "id": 16040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There are leeches attached to my wound\nThat have hungrily sucked and ballooned.\nTo continue the flow,\nThey will each undergo\nA bdellatomy (being harpooned).", "id": 16041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Calling dull, processed lunch meat bologna\nLooks to some people foreign and phogna.\nBut baloney's no meat\nThat a guy'd choose to eat,\n'Cause the spelling ain't stylish or togna.", "id": 16042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An armlet's a decorative band\nWorn somewhere above the right hand,\nOr for those who are deft,\nIt's worn over the left\n'Til the shoulder begins no band's land.", "id": 16043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "A shapely young felon named Grace\nHad a shirt made of fine Brussels lace;\nYou could see her right through it!\nSo why did she do it?\nNo witness remembered her face!", "id": 16044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "As I browsed through the books I'd requested,\nThe librarian had me arrested!\nI cried, \"Surely you've read\nFrancis Bacon, who said\nThat some books should be chewed and digested!\"", "id": 16045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If you verb any noun (\"Let me text\")\nOr reverse that (\"You ouched those injects!\"),\nAnthimeria rules.\n'Twas among Shakespeare's tools,\nSo grammarians shouldn't be vexed.", "id": 16046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My dreadlocks were out of control;\nThen I spotted a barbershop pole.\nI went in for a snip,\nBut came out like a dip\nWith my hair in the shape of a bowl.", "id": 16047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a case that is open-and-shut\nOf a word that can swagger and strut\u2014\nBeing six parts of speech\nWith exceptional reach.\nIs it limited? Anything but!", "id": 16048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Acknowledgedly, errors were made,\nAnd a lack of due foresight displayed,\nSo I pledge, in this letter,\nI shall try to do better\nWith my next light Crimean brigade.\"", "id": 16049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Got a coin where one image prevails\nOn both sides (thus two heads or two tails,\nOne reversed)? That's a brockage\nAnd caused by a blockage\nWhen the process of minting coins fails.", "id": 16050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "\"Friends, countrymen! Lend me your ears!\nMy noble and honourable peers\nAre conspirators\u2014these're\nThe butchers of Caesar!\"\nMark Antony's words: they won cheers.", "id": 16051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A motto that's presently shared\nBy the Boy Scouts was loudly declared\nWhen a tenderfoot tyke\nFixed the horn on his bike\nAnd then proudly announced, \"Beep repaired.\"", "id": 16052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With superfluous syllables nixed,\nThey consider my limerick fixed.\nThey insist on the version\nWithout an excursion:\nOffending addenda deep-sixed. Sadly.", "id": 16053, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That Mary Contrary, of rhyme,\nIs imprisoned, in gaol, doing time.\nFine to bury a bell,\nAnd a cockle as well,\nBut interment of maids is a crime!", "id": 16054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A busker who works in the streets\nWill buttonhole people he meets,\nAnd will give public shows\u2014\nThen around his hat goes.\n(Staying solvent's the best of his feats.)", "id": 16055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "I've spent many a summertime hour\t\t\t\nPerusing through meadow and bower\nTo spot the two hues in\nThe sweet black-eyed Susan:\nIt's Maryland's favorite flower.", "id": 16056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When a beautiful scent wafts your way,\nYour olfactory sense says \"Hooray!\"\nSubtle hints of sweet blooms,\nWoodsy wine, fine perfumes\u2014\nPleasant signs of a lovely bouquet.", "id": 16057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He's left his old mother's abode:\nThis fairytale guy's hit the road\nTo seek fortunes, to roam.\nAll he carries from home\nIs his bundle: a poor man's small load.", "id": 16058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "The all-nighter, perfected in college,\nIs finals week's shortcut to knowledge.\nTo cram for the test,\nI'll forgo any rest.\nGotta read this entire antholog...", "id": 16059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "So you've set us to bungee this height,\nAnd you tell me this rope \"...should get tight.\"\nWell, I surely do hope\nWe've more height than we've rope,\nAnd your apomecometer's right.", "id": 16060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Like the Captain and Toni Tennille,\nKept together by love that they feel,\nAn accompanist plays\nSo the vocalist stays\nWith the music, in phase and on keel.", "id": 16061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The price of a stock starts to race\nTo the bottom, but gets to a place\nWhere it finally slows\nAnd resists further lows.\nThat's the level defined as its base.", "id": 16062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catalonia's a region in Spain\nWhere La Liga's new champions train.\nBarcelona's the team;\nPlaying soccer's the dream.\nAt the Nou Camp these footballers reign.", "id": 16063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If the Tin Man, pre-birth, had a twin\nWho was blessed with a heart deep within,\nWe can safely assume,\nWhile those twins shared the womb,\nThat young Tin's the acardius kin.", "id": 16064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With amniocentesis, you cringe\nAt a needle that dwarfs the syringe.\nWhen the doc slips it all\nThrough your abdomen's wall,\nYou're amazed to feel only a twinge.", "id": 16065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The methods our farmers employ\nHave increased the production of soy.\nAnd they're bioorganic,\nSo no one should panic.\nAren't natural foods such a joy?", "id": 16066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A conjunction (for \"yet\" or \"unless\"),\nBut is also an adverb; and yes,\nIt's an adjective, too,\nAnd a pronoun! Who knew?\nWhat the noun means is anyone's guess.", "id": 16067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"The boogers, the blood, and the poop\nAll belong to a dangerous group.\nBiohazards (beware!)\nShould be handled with care,\"\nSaid the cook, stirring hospital soup.", "id": 16068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "An assuetude shouldn't astound you;\nYou're used to whatever's around you.\nThose inured to it less,\nIn distress, may profess\nThat you stink to high heaven, confound you!", "id": 16069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Take some bones, add fresh herbs wrapped in cloth,\nSet to simmer, then skim off the froth.\nAdd some carrots, tomatoes,\nLeeks, parsley, potatoes,\nCook an hour, then strain off the broth.", "id": 16070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The red Baldwin apple: If there\nIs a finer variety, where?\nBut why is it called one?\nWhy call it a \"bald one\"\nWhen no apple has any hair?", "id": 16071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "You will not see a budworm appear\nWhen you open a Budweiser beer.\nIt's a larva you'd see\nOn a conifer tree\u2014\nWith his bud-eating buddies, I fear.", "id": 16072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "By headaches if you are beset,\nA Frenchman would say not to fret.\n\"In France, we've a cure\u2014\nVery swift, very sure.\nWell, it worked for Marie Antoinette.\"", "id": 16073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "As far as OEDILF is concerned,\nHere's a metrical lesson I've learned:\nAs far as the beat,\nStick to anapest feet,\nOr you might find your verse will be spurned.", "id": 16074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "It's clear that an abacus plus is\nIts use to count books, beans or buses.\nTo count abaci, I\nFind I can't explain why\nThe plural may be abacuses.", "id": 16075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Though I curse limerick verse in revulsion,\nCan't stop though I drop in convulsion.\nFive anapest lines\nThat are dressed to the nines\nCan't suppress this obsessive compulsion.", "id": 16076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A cow in Kentucky I know\nLoved Duke Ellington's music, and so\nShe would listen while grazing\nOn bluegrass.  Amazing,\nFrom then on she mooed indigo.", "id": 16077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "Words present and past need defending\nFrom people who screw up the ending.\nPerfect tense I present:\nWhat he blends has been blent\nWhen he's blended whatever he's blending.", "id": 16078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "If you're running when out in the wood\nAnd you're caught a bit short, then you should\nFind a broadleaf suffices\nIn a toiletry crisis\n(But nettles will do you no good).", "id": 16079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Hey, check out her bacon and eggs!\"\nThis, in London, means \"Look at her legs.\"\nIt's a slang term, like pins,\nMeaning \"thighs, knees, and shins,\"\nJust like gams, stocking-stuffers, and pegs.", "id": 16080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The change in your vision's dramatic\nWhen your cornea's curve is erratic.\nIn the image transferred,\nPart is sharp, part is blurred,\nOnce your vision's become astigmatic.", "id": 16081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When bilateral symmetries hold\nOn the left and the right of a fold,\nThen an object's bisected:\nEach half is expected\nTo mirror the other, I'm told.", "id": 16082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Dying suns might be seen as quixotic,\nMatching giants both huge and exotic,\nPumped by nuclear hell\nIn a helium shell\nOn the branch that is called asymptotic.", "id": 16083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I was riding my trike super fast\nDown the hill; it was really a blast!\nBut my wheel hit a bump,\nI went down with a thump,\nGot a booboo; my arm's in  a cast.", "id": 16084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Commencement commences today,\nBut the speaker has bupkes to say:\nHe'd explain what life means,\nBut he doesn't know beans\u2014\nWe're expecting some pea-brained clich\u00e9.", "id": 16086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Now, annulling a marriage is serious,\nSo King Henry VIII was imperious.\nTo get quickly unwed,\nHe'd just chop off her head\n('Cause provoking the Pope's deleterious).", "id": 16087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Though you know that a badger's a brock,\nThe word brock can mean more \u2014 what a shock!\nIt's also a fellow\nWhose smell's not too mellow,\nWhich might make you think of your sock.", "id": 16088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "\"For control,\" my instructor insists,\n\"Hold the club in your fingers, not fists.\nIf the club gets too high\nIn your hand, say goodbye\nTo the ball 'cause you can't break your wrists.\"", "id": 16089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Three-breasted, Aunt Edna's unique,\nWith one more of the treasures men seek.\nUncle Charles gave a laugh,\n\"She's a thrill and a half.\"\nCharlie slept on my couch for a week.", "id": 16090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "In December, the season Adventual,\nShe said, \"Check out these stockings\" (she meant yule).\nIt seemed fair to infer\nShe'd meant those worn by her,\nSo what happened, I thought, was consensual.", "id": 16091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "This burglarproof box ain't for show;\nIt's the spot where my valuables go.\nI'm extreme in my measures\nFor guarding my treasures.\nThe key?  Safe inside it.  (Oh no!)", "id": 16092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "You may start with some sort of rotation,\nThen move to a brand new location.\n(That is Mx+v\nTo a math Ph.D.)\nIt is truly affine transformation.", "id": 16093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "King Henry the Fifth, Shakespeare teaches,\nMade most inspirational speeches.\nOnce he urged Princess Kate,\nWho was young and sedate,\n\"Once more, dear friend, into the breeches!\"", "id": 16094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "To Hitler the brownshirts were bound.\n\"Opposition, we'll stamp to the ground!\"\n\"Only terror breaks terror!\"\nBut R\u00f6hm made an error;\nLong knives brought the storm troopers down.", "id": 16095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I am watching Mae play with her brother;\nDo they love or detest one another?\nIt's a little of each\u2014\nShe might hit, he might teach\u2014\nBut they're one against me and their mother.", "id": 16096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "In the tissue of folks in Brazil\nWho had recently taken a spill,\nBradykinin was found.\nPolypeptides abound\nIn this first vasodilator pill.", "id": 16097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "He was blissfully blind to the truth\nThat no fairy would come for his tooth.\nI awoke from his holler,\n\"A tooth, but no dollar!\"\nSo Dad had to lie to his sleuth.", "id": 16098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Some antonyms:  fast versus slow;\nThin and fat, or to shrink and to grow.\nAnd dark is to bright\nAs the day is to night;\nUp and down, or above and below.", "id": 16099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "These days when we think of air travel,\nIt causes our nerves to unravel.\nThose security checks\nCan turn folks into wrecks \u2014\nI doubt there are many who'd cavil.", "id": 16100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The black mamba is one nasty snake,\nWhose acquaintance you don't want to make.\nSince those who get bitten\nWith poison are smitten,\nThey pay for their fatal mistake.", "id": 16101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks and John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "I'm waiting to burke you; I lurk\nIn the shadows. You'll die amidst murk,\nAnd no one will know\nThat my hand dealt the blow,\nSince I'll leave not a trace of my work.", "id": 16102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Your Cubist homage? I'd deep-six it.\nThere's too little life in the mix, it\nHas no sense of motion\u2014\nDespite your devotion,\nThe painting ain't Braque, so don't fix it.", "id": 16103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The imbroglio of Brueghels confounds\nOur attempts to determine their bounds.\nIf they weren't all called Pieter\nOr Jan, how much neater\nThe art lover's gallery rounds.", "id": 16104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "By the byway, the bystanders spy\nA white bicycle, bicycling by,\nWhile beside the guy's bike,\nRiding high on a trike,\nIs his spry thigh-high by-product, Ty.", "id": 16105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Your single's a hit\u2014it's a snap!\nEvery place that it plays, toes will tap.\nThat wasn't sarcastic\u2014\nThe A-side's fantastic.\nA shame it's been backed with such crap.", "id": 16106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Dave and Howard, yioux shouldn't tease Sioux\nBy misspelling Sioux words like canioux!\nIt is yioux I shall blame\nIf yioux keep up this game!\nIt is yioux whioux Sioux'll sioux if yioux dioux!\"", "id": 16107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Jack and Jill had a risky attraction\nTo Sunday adventure and action,\nWhich ended in fleeing\nTheir church to go skiing...\nThis breakaway faction's in traction.", "id": 16108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Michelangelo, artist of feeling,\nIs known for his Vatican ceiling:\nThe Pope saw some faults\nIn its featureless vaults\nAnd said, \"Paint over that, Mike\u2014it's peeling.\"", "id": 16109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I'm enjoying my Oxford career\u2014\nAll the puddings, the roasts, and the beer.\nMum pays for my battels,\nThen fusses and prattles.\n(She gets rather maudlin, I fear.)", "id": 16110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When in port on a West Indies cruise,\nThough they could wear their whites, sailors choose\nTo dress up and not down\nFor their shore leave in town;\nThey enjoy hearing rhythm in blues.", "id": 16111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "For her dinner, so Mary won't fret\n(It's ragout made of lamb), don't forget\nTo include the white sauce\nFor a nice bit of gloss,\nAnd make sure that you call it blanquette.", "id": 16112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Is brilliance the stuff that you find\nIn a gem of the sparkliest kind,\nOr in sunlight that's caught\nIn a crystal, or thought\nThat's ker-plopped from a genius's mind?", "id": 16113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Well, the reindeer are waiting to fly...\nHo ho ho, little darling, don't cry.\nSo, goodbye\u2014I should leave.\nSee you next Christmas Eve.\nPlease let go of my sleeve, dear. Bye-bye.", "id": 16114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A limerick's first rhyme we'll call A;\nA second line rhymes the same way;\nBut line three has rhyme B,\nBacked by four, as you see;\nAnd a final A. Simple, I'd say.", "id": 16115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Watch the audience struggle to gauge\nThe jihadist comedian's rage.\nIs their dogged applause\nIn support of his cause,\nOr to keep him from bombing on stage?", "id": 16116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The bowler was smart as a whip;\nHe took care that his pitch got a grip\nOf the surface\u2014it bit,\nAnd no batter could hit\nOn account of its hop and its skip.", "id": 16117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "My sculpting's a sight to behold;\nI use veggies when making my mould.\nI make boulders from peas,\nAnd some broccoli trees\u2014\nMum says \"Stop it! Your food will go cold!\"", "id": 16118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When he's writing, his tenses agree,\nAnd his pronouns (he's he, isn't she)\nNever stray into they;\nThey agree. He will say,\n\"In the present, today, I am me.\"", "id": 16119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bout is a battle of quickness;\nA contest, in sumo, of thickness;\nA binge, if you're boozing;\nA cold, if you're losing\nA battle to keep away sickness.", "id": 16120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When an anchor hits bottom, held tight;\nWhen a wheel grips the surface just right;\nWhen a saw's in its groove\nAnd it's hard to remove,\nThen the verb that we use is to bite.", "id": 16121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Removing the fish from his sack,\nHe proceeded to nibble his snack,\nThen he bit back a cry\nAnd he still wonders why\nDid the fish, in reply, bite him back.", "id": 16122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A boat (which is short for a race\nBetween boats in a watery place)\nIs in Cockney a rhyme\n(Since they rhyme all the time)\nThat means \"aspect\", \"appearance\", or \"face\".", "id": 16123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "It's a numerological name\nOf old Basilidian acclaim.\nTo Jung, it was force,\nBoth the void and the source\u2014\nHis my-gnosis-beats-yours kind of game.", "id": 16124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A new biometric solution,\nFor crimes that have no attribution,\nWill attach an ID\nTo the perp and set free\nPeople held for unjust prosecution.", "id": 16125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "They all stare and are taken aback\nAt the sense of decorum I lack.\nMy chest accessorius\nMakes me notorious,\nCausing a great deal of flack.", "id": 16126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "\"If the government irks you,\" I quip,\n\"Why not run for an aldermanship?\n  The Aldermen's Council\n  You verbally trounce'll\nBe glad to return all your lip.\"", "id": 16127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "An astronomer, scanning Bo\u00f6tes,\nSaid, \"Mankind must beware! This is no tease:\nThere is life on Arcturus\nThat cannot endure us;\nIt's not friendly \u2014 and that's a litotes.\"", "id": 16128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "It's a breeze: if you breezily breeze\nThrough the form \u2014 you will do it with ease \u2014\nAnd just sign on the line,\nThen what's yours will be mine.\nIt's a doddle \u2014 just go ahead, please.", "id": 16129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Beware of the critter you've dissed,\nIf your badgering tends to persist;\nAnd prepare for a shock\nWhen the critter you mock\nIs a badger\u2014a brock\u2014and it's pissed.", "id": 16130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This  byzantine palace intrigue\nHas me hopelessly out of my league:\nExtramarital sex\nIn the harem's complex,\nNot to mention a source of fatigue.", "id": 16131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though it's late, and past time that we went,\nWe're awaiting her royal consent.\nOnce she deigns to bestow\nHer permission to go,\nBy her leave, we can leave this event.", "id": 16132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Try to muffle a buffalo's cough?\nWe'd prefer he'd go shuffling off,\nFor he's spreading diseases\nWhenever he wheezes\nOr sneezes (achoo!) in his trough.", "id": 16133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I snooze underground (not too deep),\nTill the dawn, when I wake up and peep\nWith my bright bunny eyes\nFrom my burrow, whose size\nMakes it cosy: a warm place to sleep.", "id": 16134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You're efficient and logical; who\nCould deny we need more folks like you?\nYour businesslike ways\nWill always bring praise,\nThough it's nice to be likeable, too.", "id": 16135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Let's call in a bulwark installer\nTo make our stone ramparts still taller,\nFor the waves are immense,\nAnd without more defence\nOur small island will keep getting smaller.", "id": 16136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"So, I went to the clinic today\u2014\nThe tortoise is cactus. They say\nIt's too late for a vet...\nYeah, I'm pretty upset.\nHow should I know he's in a bad way?\"", "id": 16137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The locusts swarmed in from Phoenicia,\nAnd stripped out my beds of aubrietia.\nNow I note with a sniff\nThat it looks just as if\nI've a case of backyard alopecia.", "id": 16138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When his eyeballs grew blood-shot and ruddy,\nI questioned my book-learned buddy,\n\"Really what is it for,\nAll your precious book-lore,\nWhen you use it for nothing but study?\"", "id": 16139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Caterwaul", "limerick": "There once was an old man from Lima\nWho visited fair Ipanema.\nWhen The Girl started walking,\nThe old man was gawking\nAnd breathing as with emphysema.", "id": 16140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My complexion's a little bit blotchy;\nIt's spotted and blemished and splotchy\nFrom my ill-fated plan\nOf attempting to tan\nLeaning over a lighted hibachi.", "id": 16141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Thomas Becket knew Henry as friend\nAnd his king, to whose tasks he'd attend.\nAs archbishop his see\nFought to keep the Church free\nFrom the crown, and that led to his end.", "id": 16142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Yankee Stadium's filled to capacity\nWhenever he bats with pugnacity.\n\"It's long GONE!\", we all sense,\nAs he swings for the fence.\nIt takes balls to perform with audacity!", "id": 16143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "On vacation, he wrote from Manila:\n\"I don't care for this place one scintilla.\nI detest the cuisine,\nAnd the whole Philippine\nArchipelago I've had my filla.\"", "id": 16144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Ablute is back-formed from ablution,\nAs in personal dirt dissolution.\nBut our aardvark pollutes\nHoles in which he ablutes,\nSo for him it's dirt redistribution.", "id": 16145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "\"Our new anal-probe sales have gone red\nDue to reasons advenient,\" he said.\n\"Those green bug-eyed guys\nChanged their front line supplies\nTo the Martian Red-Raider instead.\"", "id": 16147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I'm dating (and hope I might wed)\nAn athlete who swims for her bread.\nI've asked her to try\nMy approach to the 'fly,\nBut she fancies my breaststroke instead.", "id": 16148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "To breathe down one's neck means to lurk\nClose at hand and observe someone's work:\nTo cajole and accost\nUntil patience is lost\nAnd the victim screams, \"Hey\u2014back off, jerk!\"", "id": 16149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Think of hockey, but leave out the sticks.\nFind twelve people and get in the mix.\nWhack the ball with your broom\nAnd score goals if there's room:\nIn broomball, expect to take licks.", "id": 16150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Once the Dark Lord and Sharkey for hours\nWould discuss their intense fear of flowers.\nThey were anthophobes both:\nEach one of them loath\nTo have blooms in the glooms neath their towers.", "id": 16151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "There's a reason all spin doctors feast\nWhen the Prez needs a war. Find a beast\nTo degrade, bestialize,\nMake them filth in our eyes,\nSo we'll care for their souls not the least.", "id": 16153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The brain trust that runs our division\nLikes to manage by threat and derision.\nThey're the stockholder's whores\nAnd they're planning new scores\nWhile they screw us by corporate decision.", "id": 16154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "I was made brevet captain today;\nFor how long, the Old Man wouldn't say.\nAlthough higher in rank,\nThere's no change at the bank:\nCaptain's bars but lieutenant's low pay.", "id": 16155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "It's a squabble: loud quarrel or brawl.\nIt's a binge: drinking beers 'til you sprawl.\nIt's an old Irish name\nAnd a singer of fame\nAnd a film where the Duke shoots 'em all.", "id": 16156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Noah's ark was a very large boat\nBearing pairs of gazelle, deer, and stoat.\nThe vessel's main feature?\nA pair of each creature \u2014\nA wonder the damn thing could float.", "id": 16157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Frozen ground, and the twigs tipped with frost?\nAutumn leaves are all gathered and tossed?\nThen the season that's here\n(Though it won't last all year)\nWe call brumal: late sunshine is lost.", "id": 16158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "An  attractant like perfume is nice,\nBut it's usually used to entice.\nIf you don't know her well\nThen you never can tell\nIf your interest might come at a price.", "id": 16159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term (chiefly British) air screw\nMeans a \"prop\" to a U.S. aircrew.\nWhen it spins, it's no fun\nShould you walk into one.\nPlease avoid this whatever you do.", "id": 16160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My position does come at a price.\nDo I travel?  Make money?  No dice!\nOur president could\nMake it right, and he should!\nAn ambassadorship might be nice.", "id": 16161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The A. F. of L. - C. I. O.\nSays a union's the right way to go.\nBut Wal-Mart is pissed\nAnd its leaders insist\nThey're not needed. (But what would they know?)", "id": 16162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To analogize, no one denies\nThat our goals are as high as the skies.\nBy the time I am eighty,\nThis book will be weighty,\nLike a person with very wide thighs.", "id": 16164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Director Vincente Minnelli,\nStuffing angel hair into his belly,\nSaid, \"What's this?\"  I said, \"Vinny,\nIt's pasta more skinny\nThan that which you call vermicelli.\"", "id": 16165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A commercial for office supplies\nFeatures pens on a young woman's thighs.\nIs she naked?  Well, nearly,\nAnd the ad is quite clearly\nAndrocentric. (It's geared to the guys.)", "id": 16167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My brother is animalistic.\nHis lifestyle is quite hedonistic.\nHe constantly feeds\nHis desires and needs,\nBut get married?  We're not optimistic.", "id": 16168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Emphysema's a lethal vexation:\nA battle for each inhalation.\nThe avoidance of death\nDue to shortness of breath\nIs my fervent and sole aspiration.", "id": 16170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An elegant dance floor is where\nYours truly has nary a prayer.\nWith my two left feet stumbling,\nEach movement is humbling.\nIt's clear that I'm no Fred Astaire.", "id": 16172, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Asphyxiation is nothing to sneeze at.\nIt's more like to cough or to wheeze at.\nIn the past I taught classes\nOn poisonous gasses,\nA subject I've got expertise at.", "id": 16173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What gives a fine poem electricity?\nFirms it up yielding metric simplicity?\nMakes you shout out \"Hurrah!\"?\nIt's that ol' \"da-da-DAH\"\nThat the Owl has named anapesticity.", "id": 16174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Tim's oarswoman (what a physique!)\nPoints her oar to the sky as we speak.\nI'd be hers in a jiff\nAnd give anything if\nDown her blouse she would give me apeak.", "id": 16175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On the bench, Justice Sandra O'Connor\nIs savvy. Jive won't work upon her.\nSo save your \"My Beauty,\"\nYour \"Sweet Hot Patootie,\"\nAnd address her as simply \"Your Honor.\"", "id": 16176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A salad, like a fine Stradivarius,\nIs filled with delights acetarious,\nOr so I was taught,\nBut (upon second thought)\nThat analogy's somewhat precarious.", "id": 16177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acne rosacea's the pits!\nThis disorder gives older folks fits.\nIt's a bright facial flushing,\nMuch deeper than blushing,\nA dermatological blitz.", "id": 16178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My job is, at best, administrative.\nI issue decrees authoritative.\nBut by running this site\nFewer limericks I write.\nMy position's quite anti-creative.", "id": 16179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've played jazz.  I've played reggae and swing.\nThis and more.  Air guitar is my thing.\nThirty years in the biz\nAnd the strangest thing is\nI have never once broken a string!", "id": 16180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An Aldis lamp, it is agreed by\nMost sailors:  \"Is just the thing we'd buy\nTo signal in Morse.\nNot for home use, of course\u2014\nIt's one hell of a nuisance to read by.\"", "id": 16181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's the same in wide-ranging localities:\nWhile her looks may result in fatalities,\nHer friends say, allowedly,\nIt's true but avowedly\nBlind dates all have great personalities!", "id": 16182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The animal liberationists say\nThat our four-legged kin we betray.\nIn defense of their cause,\nThey may break many laws:\n\"It's a higher command we obey.\"", "id": 16183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Zoo animals need to be freeable,\nSo a plan to escape was foreseeable.\nI said, \"Here's the key:\nWould you like to be free?\"\nThe aye-aye, for one, seemed agreeable.", "id": 16184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Your wife needs a bypass, don't doubt it!\nShe's fading, no question about it.\nThough not cheap,\" he concluded,\n\"Anesthesia's included.\"\n\"Oh?  How much would it be then without it?\"", "id": 16186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As a child, my nefarious pleasures\nCame from stuffing my pockets with treasures\nThat my mom hadn't bought,\nTill one day I got caught\nBy some store's antishoplifting measures.", "id": 16187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Our echidnas will soon be parental\nEven though they are both aplacental.\nNo placentas have they,\nWhich is odd, I would say.\nIn most mammals they're quite fundamental.", "id": 16188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My wife says, \"You have to admit\nLucille Ball was the star of each skit.\"\nI don't care what she says,\nI say Desi Arnaz\nWas what made I Love Lucy a hit.", "id": 16189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He claimed that I had a small penis.\nI accused him of theft in Salinas.\nHe stabbed me repeatedly,\nI shot him most heatedly.\nNow clearly there's bad blood between us!", "id": 16190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Yes, I'm hairless.  It's hard to ignore,\nAnd I'm finding it harder to score.\nStill my goal is to land\nSome sweet innocent and\nTo go baldly where none's gone before.", "id": 16191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The neophyte bank-robbing crew\nHit the scene with their masks all askew.\nOne guy puked on the floor.\nThere were errors galore.\nIt was amateur night through and through.", "id": 16193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"That all blacks are obtuse is well known.\nTo this dumbness, they're naturally prone.\"\nHis antiblack spiel,\nIt was true, did reveal\nThere was ignorance rampant\u2014his own!", "id": 16194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For the first nine holes, bang!  Nothin' to 'em!\nBut then bogeys?  I sure did accrue 'em.\nOn the back nine my score\nWas a 124.\nThose damn windmills\u2014I just can't get through 'em!", "id": 16195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As a youth, all the other guys jeered\nAt how baby-faced Christian appeared.\nThey would call him \"Christine.\"\nHe was anguished, eighteen,\nWith not even a trace of a beard.", "id": 16196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An elephant plays ukulele\nAs clowns cavort, seven shows daily.\nWith trapeze acts galore,\nLions, tigers, and more,\nThere's no bettering Barnum & Bailey.", "id": 16197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A mensa et thoro, it's said,\nIs Latin: \"from table and bed.\"\nIn the eyes of the law,\nIt is clear Maw and Paw\nCan be separate and still remain wed.", "id": 16198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm hoping you'll find my work fit,\nSince I like it myself, I admit.\nStill I'm open to questions,\nAdvice or suggestions,\nOr anything else you submit.", "id": 16199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're an agony aunt?  Not too shabby!\nYou get to read mail and be gabby\nTo strangers in tears\nAnd advise them, like peers\n\"Savage Love\" or, more placid, \"Dear Abby.\"", "id": 16200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Not the loo, nor the WC,\nNot the john nor the khazi for me.\nI don't mention the toilet,\nLittle boys' room would spoil it,\nThe bathroom's the place where I pee.", "id": 16201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The donors are those you should thank;\nThey have kept you alive. To be frank,\nYou'd have reached your conclusion\nWithout your transfusion\nOf blood you withdrew from our bank.", "id": 16202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Got some data? The order's a blight?\nUse the bubble sort \u2014 quite a delight!\nLet the algorithm churn,\nChecking each pair in turn,\nAnd you'll find that they're sorted just right.", "id": 16203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "They attend an alternative school\nTaking subjects most kids would call cool.\nWith no spelling, no grammar\u2014\nJust dark arts and glamour\u2014\nOn desktops they carve, \"Wizzards Rool.\"", "id": 16204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "There's many a verse I've submitted\nWith rhymes that should not be permitted.\nIt must be admitted\nThat I have omitted\nTo answer for rhymes I've committed.", "id": 16205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "An airhead's some enemy land\nWhere your air force has taken command.\nIt's also a word\nFor that bubblebrained bird\nWho's convinced al-Gebra should be banned.", "id": 16206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A mariner, bald and rotund,\nHung around looking senseless and stunned.\nHe, in place of a cross,\nWore a dead albatross:\nThat's a sure-fire way to be shunned.", "id": 16207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "She gave alunite crystals to Joe,\nSaying, \"Under your arms they must go.\nThey're for spiritual healing.\"\n(That's her way of dealing\nWith him and his potent BO.)", "id": 16208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "The turtle, an alligator snapper,\nAll iced up with bling bling looked dapper.\nIn rhyme he would tell us\nMC Macrochelys\nIs a bad-ass mean freestylin' rapper.", "id": 16209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "The ontologist mused, \"This abstractum\nIs the thought of a thing, known post factum.\"\nSo he abstracted lonely\nYoung girls, bored, with only\nHis concept of self to distract 'em.", "id": 16210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"I got angry last night and we fought\n'Cause she told me my frenum's too short.\nI tried and I tried,\nBut I'm always tongue-tied.\"\n\"You've got ankyloglossia, sport.\"", "id": 16211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To the Underworld hayseeds and hicks,\nThe Aornis is \"one of them cricks\nWhat runs all together\nDown here where it's nether.\nWe're way the hell out in the Styx.\"", "id": 16212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Took a charter to France, at great cost;\nAnd my will power quickly was lost.\nB\u00e9chamel and B\u00e9arnaise \u2014\nWhy, for seven whole days\nI spent all of my time getting sauced.", "id": 16213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "With no base station, cellular phones\nWould be useless, like ice-creamless cones.\nIt's a diligent slave,\nTrading signal and wave,\nSo the world can be touched by your tones.", "id": 16214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "That life somehow once overcame\nSurly bonds, and without taking aim\nCrossed the void and arrived\nSomewhere else and survived,\nIs ballistic panspermia's claim.", "id": 16215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our quarrel is old; now let's patch it.\nMake an offer of peace, and I'll match it.\nWe still won't be friends\nBut we can make amends,\nSo let's formally bury the hatchet.", "id": 16216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "He broke in; broke my jaw in the brawl.\nI pursued in the nude down the hall.\nHe broke laws; I broke news:\n\"I'm a black belt\u2014you lose!\"\nHe broke windows; the street broke his fall.", "id": 16217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "We went over the river by sleigh,\nThrough the woods where the horse knows the way.\nAt the end of the road\nWas an aval abode,\nWhere we visited Grandma today.", "id": 16218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Dhanurasana, yogis should know,\nIs a backbend, like bending a bow.\nOn your belly you rest,\nLifting legs, head, and chest,\nReaching backwards, and grabbing each toe.", "id": 16219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bombardment is leaving us jarred.\nAll its targets are terribly marred,\nAs the landscape is scarred,\nAnd the houses are charred.\nNow rebuilding seems wrenchingly hard.", "id": 16220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When our fishery folks so astute\nCatch some female fresh fish they compute\nThe total amount\nOf eggs in the count\nThis fecundity's called absolute.", "id": 16221, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Androcephalous, striking, yet rare\u2014\nA result of an old science fair.\nMy chihuahua, wee Fred,\nNow sports grandmother's head.\n(She's not your granny; what do you care?!)", "id": 16222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Half the chickens in Chuck's chicken coop\nHad been ailing; he thought it was croup.\nSo he slaughtered a hen\nWho was healthy, and then\nHe could feed all the rest chicken soup.", "id": 16223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "St George viewed the matter most gravely,\nBut then when the damsel yelled, \"Save me!\",\nHis lance he unveiled,\nAnd his courage prevailed,\nAs he slew the fierce dragon most bravely.", "id": 16224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Yep, I'm certain he thinks that I've treated\nHim wrong.  We had words; they were heated.\n(Called him biggety, see,\nMeaning impudent. He\nThought I meant he was vain and conceited.)", "id": 16225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "BZAs have the power to say\nIf a zoning exception's okay.\nHere's their vote on your land\nThat you platted and planned:\n\"La boucherie chevaline? We say neigh!\"", "id": 16226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Asclepius, son of Apollo,\nHad a painfully tough act to follow.\nWith father the sun god,\nThe son's an outdone god.\n(\"Unsung\" is a hard pill to swallow.)", "id": 16227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bioterrorists:  militants who\nWill wage war and then hope to subdue\nAll their enemies\u2014not\nJust by having them shot,\nBut through anthrax or plague or the flu.", "id": 16228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The divisors of numbers that some\nCall abundant, when added, become\nA number that's bigger\nThan the first one.  Go figger!\n(Where do these inane terms come from?)", "id": 16229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With my gavel, I rule for the good,\nAnd would heal the world's ills if I could,\nBut my fear in the night,\nLike some hell-sent affright,\nSays my life is just knocking on wood.", "id": 16230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "In my chem class, I'm quite a slow learner.\nMy teacher grows sterner and sterner:\n\"You're some kind of dunce, son!\nDon't play with that Bunsen\"\n(Hey, where did my eyebrows go?) \"burner!\"", "id": 16231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If those pricier brews leave you flaccid,\nAnd you won't take your java high-class\u00e8d,\nTry a mug of my joe:\nIt dulls knife blades, you know,\nAnd it tastes like Mom's battery acid.", "id": 16232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The temple fa\u00e7ade at my place\nWas too plain, so I added a vase\n(Well, an urn) to the peak of\nThe pediment\u2014speak of\nThe best acroterion space!", "id": 16233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The fellow who once lived next door\nIn each thought, word and deed, was a snore.\nA tornado swooped by,\nSucked him into the sky...\nLike they say: \"Nature vacuums a bore.\"", "id": 16234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Some sculpture makes folks ooh and aah;\nA well-defined form\u2014Ooh-la-la!\nNow, alto-rilievo\nCan cause me to rave.  Oh,\nMy feelings on low relief?  Bah!", "id": 16235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Education shall broaden your mind!\nGet some schooling, and soon you will find\nThat your interests grow,\nAs will things that you know \u2014\nWell, unless you're the dull, normal kind.", "id": 16236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I've been blooded. I know that it's wrong,\nBut the taste and the smell are so strong.\nI'm susceptible still\nTo the chase and its thrill;\nIn pursuit of the kill, I belong.", "id": 16237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The government wanted to shield\nBritain's farmers from corn from afield,\nBut the ACLL\nCried, \"Free trade! Let them sell!\"\nSo the Corn Laws, at last, were repealed.", "id": 16238, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This antemundane (if you're scoring)\nMeans the time before all the outpouring\nOf six days' duration\nThat's known as Creation.\nIt's not before life became boring.", "id": 16239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A vinculo:  Here is a twist\u2014\nDivorce for the righteously pissed.\nYou can say, \"Take a hike!\nWed whomever you like!\"\n(But your lover won't be on that list.)", "id": 16240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The dragon, though tiny, was spinulated.\nHis spine, for defense, was echinulated.\nEach prickle that rose\nCould bring death, Heaven knows,\nSince each barb was, in fact, acuminulated.", "id": 16241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Be at ease.  There's no need to pretend\nWe don't know that my time's at its end.\nJust abide with me here,\nNow that angels are near,\nAnd God bless you for being my friend.", "id": 16242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Dear wife, I insist that my ration\nOf the sum of your love and your passion\nBe all that you've got,\nSo just what is this rot\nAbout faithfulness \"after a fashion\"?!", "id": 16243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Rickettsia Tsutsugamushi\nOnce informed me while dining on sushi:\n\"The word ankyroid?  'Hook-like,'\nEven though it may look like\nThat guy who was friends with Belushi.\"", "id": 16245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Our librarian recently vowed\nThere'd be silence, no matter the crowd.\nTo cut down on the noise,\nShe has banned girls and boys.\nThere's a sign there: \"No children aloud.\"", "id": 16246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An aplotomy:  Try to envision\nA surgery needing precision\nAnd with jeopardy fraught...\nOK, throw out that thought!\nIt's only a simple incision.", "id": 16247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A backronym starts as a word,\nSomething simple that everyone's heard,\nThen each letter is given\nA meaning and driven\nTo generate something absurd.", "id": 16248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I'm a blabbermouth! Gifted with gab,\nI jabber and blather and blab.\nI yammer and chatter,\nAnd hey, what's the matter?\nIs this your first time in a cab?", "id": 16249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Three meanings of bite I'll present:\nThe effect of a wind's discontent,\nThe corrosion that's sketched\nWhen a metal is etched,\nAnd the stamp of machines that indent.", "id": 16250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Returning to Ghent, I was cheered\nWhen Van Dyck, my old watchdog, appeared.\nHe's a bouvier, blessed\nWith a visage arrest-\ning, with eyebrows, a mustache, and beard.", "id": 16251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our crossbows betoken our might,\nAnd you shiver, aquiver with fright.\nWith the arc of a bolt\nStarts our bowmen's revolt\u2014\nArmed with quarrels, we're aiming to fight.", "id": 16252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bolt without threads on its shaft\nIs a true definition of daft.\nWhen a bolt-threader cuts\nSpiral grooves, then the nuts\nCan assist in the fastener's craft.", "id": 16253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The Irishman cares not a fig\nThat his neighbors make fun of his pig\nWho is totally gonzo.\nThis bonham, named Bonzo,\nPlays drums while he's dancing a jig.", "id": 16254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"You thinking what I'm thinking, lovey?\"\n\"I'm thinking I'd love to, my dovey,\nExcept that I'm freezing!\nBefore we start squeezing,\nReplenish the stove with some Bovey!\"", "id": 16255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said one egg to another, \"I thought,\nAfter hatching, that life would be hot.\"\nSaid the other, \"Predictions\nLike yours are afflictions!\nIt's boiling, you see, in this pot!\"", "id": 16256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The despot's detractors declare\nThat the robe that he wears isn't there.\nThey go on to proclaim\nThat his head, like his frame,\nHas a bald spot: an absence of hair.", "id": 16257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the core, kiloparsecs away,\nSupermassive collapsars hold sway.\nTake an anticenter tack\nWith the core at your back\nAnd the Perseus arm's on your way.", "id": 16258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sporemonger settled his bills\nWhen he promised us fungi with frills.\nHe decided to cheat us,\nAnd gave us boletus,\nWith pores where there should have been gills.", "id": 16259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "A crafty old man we call Chris\nWanted more than a Britney Spears kiss.\nHe, with motives impure,\nAnd his fame as a lure,\nFound that access in excess was bliss.", "id": 16260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "The cannibal king's cute annunciator,\nA purportedly perfect pronunciator,\nHad her facts all exact\nBut she lacked any tact.\nWhen he figured the dame was a dunce, 'e ate 'er.", "id": 16261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Said a count from deep, dark Transylvania,\nLong afflicted with arithmomania,\n\"I go vhun, two, vhun, two,\nVhen I'm thirsting for you\nAs I'm countink on two fangs to drain ya.\"", "id": 16262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "If you say that it must be admitted\nThat you tried it for size as you knitted,\nThat the fit was much better\nBy shaping the sweater,\nThen admittedly it'd be fitted.", "id": 16263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "His lifestyle was harsh and ascetic\nAnd his teachings all sounded prophetic.\nMortifying all night\nWas for him a delight.\nAll the god-talk was purely cosmetic.", "id": 16264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "\"Overwhelm with amazement profound,\"\nOr else \"fill with great wonder\": astound\n(From that old word, astoned,\nLike your brain's just been boned\nBy a substance the cops should impound).", "id": 16265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "With aliasing, edges get jagged.\nThe scripts on your screen may look ragged.\nThin diagonal lines\nAnd curvaceous designs\nDrawn in pixels get zigg-ed and zagg-ed.", "id": 16266, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Each successive term alternates thus:\nFrom a plus to a minus, then plus,\nAnd it goes on forever.\nUnless you are clever\nThere's little else left to discuss.", "id": 16267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Many lemurs eat tender bamboo.\nSo would I\u2014and why not? Wouldn't you?\nIt's a nourishing stalk;\nNeeds no knife and no fork:\nYou just break a piece off, and then chew.", "id": 16268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I escaped after bearing the brunt\nOf his beating; my blood-covered front\nProved he'd hit me with force.\nName his weapon? Of course\u2014\nIf I could; I just know it was blunt.", "id": 16269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "An ounce of prevention is rare,\nAnd it's proven each day. We're aware\nOf the accident rate\nFor the fools who tempt fate:\nIt appears that they simply don't care.", "id": 16270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "\"Disabling your wireless adaptor\" \u2014\nThe perennial opening chapter\nIn the modern-day daring\nOf network-repairing.\n\"It's broken\", I think, would be apter.", "id": 16271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "If you study the stars and you list 'em,\nThe altazimuth coordinate system\nAs a choice would be strange\n'Cause the numbers all change;\nAs the world turns around you must twist 'em.", "id": 16272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "We can label a period historical\nAs \"The Age of [some dude oratorical].\"\nBut for any one year\nWhat's important's not clear,\nSo it's hard to be that categorical.", "id": 16273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "It stood still in the forest at dawn,\nSo I couldn't see where it had gone.\nApatetic concealment\nEmployed by my meal meant\nMy teeth wouldn't meet the sweet fawn.", "id": 16274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the very first flash in the pan,\nI was hooked and the arson began.\nAll the blazes were small\nTill I torched city hall,\nAnd the cops threw my arse in the can.", "id": 16275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Attack me at once, if you dare.\nGo ahead, punch my face! Pull my hair!\nThrow a hand out, Brer Rabbit,\nAnd surely I'll grab it;\nI'm made out of tar by Brer Bear.", "id": 16276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "\"He's greenish and wet, and I fear\nThat his roots haven't grown much out here.\nTell me! What shall I do?\nWill this boyfriend be true?\"\n\"He is algoid, not humanoid, dear.\"", "id": 16277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biofeedback's a practiced technique\nThat in time helps you regulate, tweak,\nAnd control with your mind\nWhat's unconscious; some find\nThat their heart rate responds in a week.", "id": 16278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Do you wonder what's killing your trees\nWhen you know it's not bugs or disease?\nAbiotic's the stress\nThat could make them a mess,\nIf your yard temp's 100 degrees!", "id": 16279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Near the launch pads whence space shuttles soar,\nMerritt Island hosts herds of wild boar.\nSus scrofa's sharp tusks\nCarve the ground as their musks\nTurn their squeals to a deafening roar.", "id": 16281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Acinetobacter germs are scelestic\nAnd thrive in surroundings domestic:\nDon't fear penicillin,\nLove hospital chillin',\nAnd plague the immunodeprestic.", "id": 16282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Some enzymes improve a sperm's clime\nFor drilling an egg\u2014it's no crime.\nAcrosomal, this juice\nMakes a nice little sluice\nSo the worm quickly squirms through in time.", "id": 16283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The Southern Pacific, South Line,\nHad a brakeman, a forebear of mine.\nHenrie Birch was his name.\nStopping trains was his fame\u2014\nNow the ends of that line intertwine.", "id": 16284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "While a few like to drink bourbon neat,\nOthers take it in cola\u2014real sweet.\nBut me and my daughter\nTake ours with branch water:\nMother Nature's pure booze-mixing treat.", "id": 16285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "\"Okay, folks, now let's take our first caller.\nYour mother insists you're a mauler?\nYou hit hard when you fight,\nYour fists flailing each night?\nWell, I'd say you're a bit of a brawler.\"", "id": 16286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Cried a fiery lady called Jen:\n\"Let us all wear our stockings again\nAnd suspenders \u2014 no panty-\nhose, girls, for we're anti-\nfeministic: we dress to please men!\"", "id": 16287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Steve McGarrett, each week, got it done\nWith computers, his fists or a gun.\nFind the clues; solve the crime;\nCatch the perp\u2014he'll do time.\n\"Book 'im, Danno.\" \"The charge?\" \"Murder one.\"", "id": 16288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Antiandrogen, taken as pills,\nIn a man's body usually kills\nAll his sexual desires.\nHe abhors (or admires?)\nHis resulting new mammary hills.", "id": 16289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A white wine that a French sommelier\nMight suggest for before your entr\u00e9e\nWith cassis, as a kir,\nOr alone, dry and clear,\nIs a Burgundy, Aligot\u00e9.", "id": 16290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Ambient temperature's often controlled\nIn the rooms where we work and grow old.\nWhether office or home,\nOr hotel when we roam,\nWe don't like it too hot or too cold.", "id": 16291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Aphoristically said, things are witty,\nNot every time true, but so pretty:\n\"To read means to borrow,\nTo invent: pay tomorrow.\"\nIs what Lichtenberg said just a ditty?", "id": 16292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Deep Thought, after millions of years,\nWith the ultimate answer appears,\nWhich is just 42.\nThis is certainly true,\nThough it sounds a bit strange to the ears.", "id": 16293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "She is cheerful, and happy, and swell.\nShe doesn't get worried or yell.\nHer outlook is breezy;\nShe takes things so easy\nShe's jolly well vexing as hell.", "id": 16294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An acrodont lizard has teeth\nWith nary a socket beneath.\nIts dentition's life-long,\nAnd amazingly strong,\nSince its teeth have no delicate sheath.", "id": 16295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BrownieGirl", "limerick": "The use of a battery cage,\nFor hens to lay eggs, causes rage.\nNo freedom to roam,\nFew feathers, torn comb,\nAnd we call this a civilized age?", "id": 16297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The heifer seduced in the shed\nHas been feeling abused and misled,\nSince the herd, so we hear,\nGave her quite the bum steer.\nPoor advice led her into his bed.", "id": 16298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I assure you we'll make it ashore,\nAs this gangplank has surely held more\nThan the weight of us three.\nYou assuredly see\nTrampolining is just what it's for.", "id": 16299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "The scope maker used Abbe's limit\nFor aperture sizing.  To him it\nWas apt execution\nFor spec'd resolution:\nIf over the limit, then trim it.", "id": 16300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A cinema not-so-resplendent\nPresents us with films independent.\nIt's a 100-seater,\nThis little art theater,\nWith only one ticket attendant.", "id": 16301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Notwithstanding my loud histrionics,\nI can no longer feel my acronyx.\nThat's a toenail, ingrown,\nSo my sine qua non\nIs a number of strong gin and tonics.", "id": 16302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A baronet went on a bender,\nDowning daiquiris straight from his blender.\nBut he drank so much rum\nThat it made him succumb.\nWho's to blame?  Just himself\u2014the bartender.", "id": 16303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "While the Britons in Britain drink tea,\nAngry Bretons live just 'cross the sea.\nThe Bretons\u2014both Celtic\nAnd madder-than-heltic\u2014\nWant Brittany Frenchless and free.", "id": 16304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bay barrier's kind of a beach\nThat across a bay's entrance will reach\n(Cut it off from the ocean,\nFrom tides' daily motion);\nThat's what the geologists teach.", "id": 16305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though my lawyers consider it sneaky\n(I admit that the tactic is cheeky),\nTo wow judge and jury, I,\nWith amicus-type curiae,\nWill submit more than fifty amici.", "id": 16306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The brickfield's the place where they mix\nThe ingredients used to make bricks.\nThen those bricks they will shove in\nTo bake in an oven\u2014\nIt's one of the brickmakers' tricks.", "id": 16307, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Say \"bye-bye\" to that pie in the sky\nThat you never could buy\u2014let it die.\nSay hello to what's real;\nBy and by you will feel\nThat your life isn't passing you by.", "id": 16308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The shock waves spread out from the center,\nAs I witnessed the blast with my mentor.\nWe could see the brisance,\nAnd I thought, for the nonce,\nOf his grief as this A-bomb's inventor.", "id": 16309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "On a pond, the old bullfrog, in brief,\nCried, \"I've nothing to rest on\u2014good grief!\nI am so hopping mad\n'Cause there's no lily pad.\"\nThen he spotted one.  \"Watery leaf!\"", "id": 16310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A bullfrog once vied with a civet\nFor a job building planes.  It would pivot\nOn skills they possessed.\n\"What's the work you do best?\"\nThe bullfrog won out; he said, \"Rivet.\"", "id": 16311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Of impssbly 'brvtd words,\nAdvt's reduced by two-thirds.\nIt means \"advertisement.\"\nTake under advisement:\nPronouncing it's just for the birds.", "id": 16312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A birdwatcher (champion of nerds)\nSaid nothing, just photographed birds.\nBeing keenly astucious,\nHe quoted Confucius:\n\"One picture's worth ten thousand words.\"", "id": 16313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Brer Fox? He was hardly a match\nFor the rabbit he happened to catch.\nShould have known not to heed\nWhen Brer Rabbit would plead,\nFeigning fear of that briar-filled patch.", "id": 16314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Actress Susan Sarandon I'm filing\nUnder gals who look great when they're smiling.\nTrue, her eyes bulge a bit,\nBut I have to admit\nThat her bug-eyed look sure is bug-eyeling.", "id": 16315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Shot on film in his skivvies, good grief!\nHussein has a genuine beef:\n\"We don't pose in our Jockeys,\nUs Muslim Iraqis.\"\nHis lawyers are filing a brief.", "id": 16316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To a twig, misdirection was sent:\nIt was changed in its course or intent;\nLike the numeral 8,\nIt grew crooked, not straight.\nNow you notice a tree has been bent.", "id": 16317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Asgard-Midgard's the route they are taking\nAs the Norse gods commute at day's breaking.\nAt the rainbow-bridge, Thor\nSkirts its span: all the more,\nBifrost lasts until Ragnarok's quaking.", "id": 16318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "He slides out of his gallon jug snakery\nIn the dark of the night: black snake fakery.\nBut my Gram, bathroom bound,\nTreads his tail.  Wails redound.\nGrandfolks race from black racer to bakery.", "id": 16319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "For prescient wagers I'll boast:\nAs a better, I'm better than most,\nBut better by far, be\nIt dogs or the Derby,\nI am when I bet ante-post.", "id": 16320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An angora's a goat or a cat\nOr a rabbit  (well, how about that!).\nAll three are found where\nFolks like long silky hair\u2014\nFind a bald one and I'll eat my hat!", "id": 16321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Azores, halfway 'cross the Atlantic:\nSpots of land in an ocean gigantic.\nNine Portuguese islands\nNot known for their highlands,\nThey've beaches both lush and romantic.", "id": 16322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Do something acrook and you've got\nAn adverb suggesting a plot.\nBut insert a small space\nAnd a noun takes its place.\nIt's what Nixon declared he was not.", "id": 16323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Ronald Reagan,\" say those in the know,\n\"Was ahead of his time.\"  Yes...  Although,\nPlease don't think me unkind\nBut you must keep in mind\nThat \"his time\" was six decades ago.", "id": 16324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The reporter alerted his boss\nTo the perils of alien moss.\n\"It's intelligent, Clyde!\"\nBut the editor sighed,\n\"Just go home, Joe, and lay off the sauce.\"", "id": 16325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ahead of our schedule?  Could be!\n(...By the time that we open up \"Z.\")\nThere's a chance, I contend,\nThat the alphabet's end\nWill be reached late in spring '23.", "id": 16326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a diner painstakingly staffed\nWith a crew who feel slang is a craft.\nThe thing I like most\nIs two poached eggs on toast,\nWhich is Adam and Eve on a raft.", "id": 16327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The magician was highly revered,\nThough his act was decidedly weird.\nFirst he counted to ten,\nCried \"Babooshka!\" and then,\nAll at once, all his clothes disappeared!", "id": 16328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As our spirits continued to droop,\nFDR saw a need to regroup.\nWith a nation unable\nTo put food on the table,\nHe fed us all alphabet soup.", "id": 16329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In one of those grim public scenes,\nA mom shrieked at two insolent teens:\n\"So you think you're so clever?\nI swear that you'll never\nAmount to a damn hill of beans!\"", "id": 16330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was asking my daughter today\n'Bout this guy she'd been dating, Jos\u00e9.\n\"You loved this guy once.\nHaven't seen him for months.\"\n\"Ancient history\" is all she would say.", "id": 16331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In chess notes, a !? move is cute\nBut it might not be all that astute,\nWhere a ?! is a move\nWhere there's room to improve,\nYet it still could be hard to refute.", "id": 16332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A \"Looney Tunes\" friend has passed on.\nPorky Pig died this morning at dawn.\nTo some cartoon-type birds\nHe conveyed his last words:\n\"Bdbdbdbd, that's all folks!\" and then he was gone.", "id": 16333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A government witness, Dan Chung,\n'Gainst a Mafia leader had sung.\nThough the don went to jail,\nThere is more to this tale:\nDan's aglossate now\u2014lacking a tongue.", "id": 16334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "While the busboy was bussing our table,\nWe stopped kissing since I felt unable\nTo  buss in a place\nWithout space to embrace,\nAnd where breadcrumbs might litter my sable.", "id": 16335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "What has intricate\u2014this gets confused\u2014\n(As the [purposeful] syntax that's used\nHerein) twists and turns\nCan be (this fairly yearns\nTo), of byzantine being, accused.", "id": 16336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My son's called \"Amplexicaul Clem\"\n'Cause he constantly clings to my hem,\nAnd then twines his legs 'round\n'Til my ankles are bound\u2014\nLike a leaf that encircles its stem.", "id": 16337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Amazing, that name Amaziah:\nA Levite, the son of Hilkiah;\nA king that was famous;\nA priest (just see Amos);\nAnd a subject of King Hezekiah!", "id": 16338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An adventurous fellow from Lawrence\nTook a ride on a plane to see Florence,\nBut his high expectation\nTurned to sheer devastation\nWhen she met him with utter abhorrence.", "id": 16339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There is much to be said for ambitiousness\nWhen it's not marred by greed or by viciousness,\nBut to triumph through terror\nIs a vile moral error,\nThough there would be a certain deliciousness . . .", "id": 16340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Life's a thrill-ride with bipolar I!\nBeing manic is oh so much fun!\nI just bounce around\u2014whee!\nHee hee hee hee hee hee!\nBut now I'm depressed. Where's my gun?", "id": 16341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Here's a lesson\u2014I'm guessin' Aeneas,\nIf that bedridden Lyddan could see us,\nWould agree\u2014being whole\nMay be good for the soul\nBut from making our beds it won't free us.", "id": 16342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "A lamentable midwife from York\nFelt her fingers grow rigid and fork.\nFrom her work she was banned,\nFor her accoucheur's hand\nMade her dangerous playing the stork.", "id": 16343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "We were off to Jerusalem \u2014 yea! \u2014\nIn the first month of spring, the twelfth day:\nAhavah, the river,\nWe left with a shiver\nOf joy, as God's hand paved the way.", "id": 16344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Had to kill her; she'd driven me mad!\nDesdemona\u2014so easily had!\nWhat a two-timing bitch,\nScratching Cassio's itch\u2014\nOh, she didn't?  ...uh... Sorry.  My bad.", "id": 16345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Aromunian's spoken by few,\nBut, to take a historical view,\nThis minority tongue,\nWhether spoken or sung,\nIs just Latin, developed anew.", "id": 16346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Archimedean solids demand\nThat all faces be regular, and\nThat all vertices (places\nWhere corners of faces\nConverge) are the same \u2014 understand?", "id": 16348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In a buckminsterfullerene ball\nYou can find sixty carbons in all.\nA buckyball locker\nFor nanotech soccer\nMight strike us as shockingly small.", "id": 16349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "There's nothing in life that is fairer\nThan my lovely new silver mole scarer.\nFrom dusk through to dawn\nBuzz buzz buzz goes the lawn\u2014\nI just hope that it makes the moles rarer!", "id": 16350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Acidimetric equipment can show\nUs the strength of an acid, just so,\nWith a measure exact\nThat is based on hard fact,\nSo we don't need no litmus no mo'.", "id": 16351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Beyond lies ahead or behind,\nWell past reach in a place you can't find.\nIt's a realm so sublime,\nA domain outside time\nWith no end\u2014out of sight, undivined.", "id": 16352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a lad, I got bashed and assailed;\nEvery bully I battled prevailed.\nHave you heard of the child\nWho was born to be wild?\nI'm the kid who was born to be whaled.", "id": 16353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK and waterrocks", "limerick": "For an additive function, it's true\nThat when f acts on p and on q\nAnd the answers one sums,\nThe grand total becomes\nThe function of p plus q too.", "id": 16354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Transferases we prefix amino\n(The transaminase enzymes that we know)\nPromote amination.\nWill this explanation\nMake me a Nobel nominee? No.", "id": 16355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "You can tell that he's animatronic,\nJust a puppet with mumblings moronic.\nTo provoke an attack,\nSee the box on his back \u2014\nPress the button that's marked \"histrionic.\"", "id": 16356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "It's a time both distressful and grand;\nHow much joy? How much pain can you stand?\nFor that birth time I'd heard\nAccouchement is the word.\n(For a guy it means \"time for crushed hand.\")", "id": 16357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Tobias, a builder from Kobe,\nBuilt houses of glass and adobe.\nAs a pro he was slow.\n\"How was I s'pposed to know\nHow they'd go below snow?\" bemoaned Toby.", "id": 16358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "She promised him, \"I shall love alway,\"\nIn her neo-goth make me your thrall way.\nHe missed what she meant\nAnd assumed her assent\nTo go wild in an any at all way.", "id": 16359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "Why are there\u2014I've pondered the reason\u2014\nDifferent names for the very same season?\nYou'd think I'd remember,\nCome end of September,\nFall and autumn are equally pleasin'.", "id": 16360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If ballistic panspermia's right,\nLife arrived here by asteroid flight\u2014\nThough it's hard to believe\nEither Adam or Eve\nHitched a ride on a meteorite.", "id": 16361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "The term Bauerwurst sausage portrays\nA tautologous noun-phrase malaise,\nBecause sausage translates\nInto Wurst. How that grates!\nTautological crime never pays.", "id": 16362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Those Dems who have collars of brass\nAren't easy to rattle with sass.\nFor they wear the same sign:\n\"Vote the strict party line!\"\nSeems the Donkey makes each one an ass.", "id": 16363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "\"By yon bonnie brae,\" said the lassie,\n\"You can show me what makes you so classy.\nWhen we both drink our fill\nOf sweet love on that hill,\nThen you'll know if I'm quiet or sassy.\"", "id": 16364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats is well-known as a bragger.\nAnd humility?\u2014Well, he's a lagger.\nHe's quite eager to boast\nAnd a hoot at a roast\nWhen he spouts off about his huge dagger.", "id": 16365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "A self-satisfied newsman named Blair\nDismissed facts with his nose in the air,\nThought tornados a joke,\nBlew them off, had a smoke.\nOh, his breeziness gave us a scare.", "id": 16366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Said the priest to his frantic aide, \"Maybe\nYou hold fears in your heart. What could they be?\"\nTo accoy the crazed acolyte,\nUnnerved by the lack o' light,\nHe offered a sweet jelly baby.", "id": 16367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If they're ethnic and different, he'll hate 'em,\nInsult 'em, demean 'em, berate 'em.\nThere's a wide-open spigot\nOf bile from this bigot.\n(If no one were watching, he'd date 'em.)", "id": 16368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I've amended\u2014corrected my flaws\u2014\nAnd it's done for a very good cause.\nI've amended my ways\nFor the sentencing phase\nOf my trial. (Damned obscenity laws!)", "id": 16369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Back when horses were used every day,\nThe bobolink found lots of hay.\nBut as grasslands recede,\nSo do homes these birds need.\nTheir decline is a source of dismay.", "id": 16370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "If warrants to you have been sent,\nIf tithes for the church you have spent,\nIf you binge on the fringe,\nAnd impinge without twinge,\nThe sum of these traits means you're bent.", "id": 16371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "\"Bloody nothing\" is what it relates\nSomewhat rudely, so maybe it grates\nOn your maiden aunt's ear\nIn Great Britain, my dear,\nBut it means bugger all in the States.", "id": 16372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the set of assumptions I make\nThat support the position I take\u2014\nThe foundation I'm laying,\nMy basis for saying,\n\"Hey, buddy, go jump in a lake!\"", "id": 16373, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "There's a fund-raising auction tonight.\nIt's a benefit aiding the plight\nOf the kids on the street\nWho have nothing to eat;\nHeavy bidding would be a delight.", "id": 16374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "You decide that this life is unfair,\nStorm about with your temper aflare.\nAfter blowing your stack,\nYou can never go back\u2014\nYou've burned bridges you'll never repair.", "id": 16375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If you're looking for Mardi Gras fun,\nThe Big Easy's a bit overdone.\nIn a quieter parish\nAre great moments to cherish\u2014\nUp in Addis the party's begun.", "id": 16376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You're flushed with excitement \u2014 you're glowing;\nYour prattle shows no signs of slowing.\nYou're bubbling so much\nThat you're warm to the touch,\nAnd your fresh, foaming zeal's overflowing!", "id": 16377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "So your tickets are paid for and bought,\nAnd you're off round the world, port-to-port.\nWhen you're fishing Down Under\nYou may catch barramunda\n(Or lungfish). It isn't much sport.", "id": 16378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "His ideas revolutionised spinning,\nBut Arkwright's success? Just beginning.\nHis mills made him rich;\nWhen his plans hit a hitch\nWith the patent, Sir Richard kept grinning.", "id": 16379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "This use of the word may seem strange,\nBut the butts is an archery range.\nYes, that's one range, not two \u2014\nThough the \"s\" seems a clue,\nIt misleads, and your thoughts need to change.", "id": 16380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "He's the slyest of models, that Nate,\nSince he always has women to date!\nI must say, he's no fool\nGoin' to Barbizon School.\nHe's the only male student who's straight!", "id": 16381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A comb as a bookmark will do\nIf you don't mind the smell of shampoo.\nBut \u2014 as you might gauge \u2014\nYou cannot save your page\nWhile attempting to groom yourself, too.", "id": 16382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Said a book on a subject arcane:\n\"Shrimp exist in abysmal deep pain.\"\n\"Oh, poor babies!\" I said,\nBut then saw I'd misread...\nIt was: \"in the abyssal (deep) plain.\"", "id": 16383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "As I stroll through my garden alone,\nI'm surprised how the summer has flown.\nI am caught off my guard\nBy the state of my yard...\nEvery rosebud has blossomed and blown.", "id": 16384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Got pulled over last week (I was speeding),\nSo I winked as I started my pleading.\nThe bribe I suggested\nThen got me arrested;\nAlas! It's a lawyer I'm needing.", "id": 16385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "A business achieves augmentation\nEngaging in amalgamation.\nIt's merging, you see.\nLike when X, Y, and Z\nJoin to form XYZ corporation.", "id": 16386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I admit I'm a bit of a critic\nOf OEDILF, and I'm sometimes acidic,\nBut I find it absurd\nTo define every word:\nIf of albite it's made, it's albitic.", "id": 16387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "Draw some lines joining dots in set A\nTo some dots in set B. Then we say\nIt's bipartite if we\nHave no \"B\" joined to \"B\"\nAnd no \"A\" joined to \"A\". That okay?", "id": 16388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Your proposal is airy and fairy.\nIs it sensibly grounded? Not very!\nDeep in public disgrace,\nLeaders will not erase\nTheir dishonor with hari and kari.", "id": 16389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A.V. Robeson", "limerick": "After quaffing a surplus of drink,\nI stumbled, then puked in the sink.\nI wandered all boozily,\nThen fell down most woozily.\nAnd man, did my breath ever stink!", "id": 16390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Young", "limerick": "A doctor, quite flushed with elation,\nSaid, \"I'm giving a clear demonstration.\nThe cause of my hue\nIsn't drink, drugs or flu.\nNo, it's active vasodilation.\"", "id": 16391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Down the shaft of this bell pit we've sunk;\nAt the coalface, we land with a clunk.\nSee, the coal's hollowed out,\nAnd these pillars \u2014 don't shout!\nA cave-in means death! Are you drunk?!", "id": 16392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Zeke, do not be dismayed by the glint\nIn their impudent faces. By dint\nOf the roll that you ate\nI have rendered your pate\nAs an adamant harder than flint.", "id": 16393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "I've not hid my iniquity. See,\nI acknowledge my sin unto thee.\nI'll confess my transgressions;\nAccept my confessions;\nExtend thy forgiveness to me.", "id": 16394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Paul finds Stephanas like a papaya:\nHe is zesty, the kind of a guy a\nNew cause needs for starters,\nAddicted to martyrs,\nThe first fruit and crown of Achaia.", "id": 16395, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "All good things to an ending must tend. All\nI want to do now is to rend all\nYour things into tatters.\nYou're not all that matters.\nYou're no more my be-all and end-all.", "id": 16396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My accountant, who's very astute,\nThinks my Gambian coins are a hoot.\nOn the smallest, the back\nShows three peanuts, a snack\nCosting more than the shiny butut.", "id": 16397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "She denies she's a true barracuda \u2014\nSays she's kind, and we've all misconstrueda.\nSo I said, \"There's a chance.\nHere's my hand in romance.\"\nWhich she ate.  Guess I shoulda escheweda.", "id": 16398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "In order to claim you're artistic,\nIt helps to be thoroughly mystic:\nTo stretch inner vision,\nDecline indecision,\nAnd further new views futuristic.", "id": 16399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Japan I turned red as a rose;\nLighting up like a flame was my nose.\nJust one drink with a geisha\nBrought acne rosacea,\nWhich barkeepers doused with a hose.", "id": 16400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Baccalaureate: qualification\nWhich, if gained, is the source of elation;\nThough you'll have to work more,\nFor some three years or four,\n'Til you end with your own graduation.", "id": 16401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You can shove all your \"better\" and \"faster\":\nMy limb's gone, and that's a disaster.\nThough bionic, the arm\nOn my shoulder lacks charm:\nIt's just circuits and motors and plaster.", "id": 16402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Every winemaker owns a ch\u00e2teau\nWhere the price of a bottle may grow\nSo much faster than wine\u2014\nAre they really that fine,\nAll these overpriced crus de Bordeaux?", "id": 16403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In the band, we would keep a close guard on\nThe fellow who played the bombardon:\nIt amused him to blow\nNow and then, a low Do,\nLike a burp \u2014 and he never said \"Pardon!\"", "id": 16404, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "In the jungle you'll see brachiation,\nA simian manifestation.\nAs they swing tree to tree\nI keep thinking that we\nCould do likewise, if not for mutation.", "id": 16405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A guy who sells meat in a shop,\nOr a killer whose slayings won't stop:\nBut whichever you mean,\nThe same outcome is seen \u2014\nA butcher will give you the chop.", "id": 16406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Bithynians cherished their home:\nThe Black Sea, almost white from the foam!\nAnd the Bosporus strait,\nLike a prosperous gate!\nNicomedes, though, willed them to Rome.", "id": 16407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Both the stars were in states of undress,\nBut the cameraman couldn't suppress\n(With a barney) the sound\nOf the gears going round,\nSo they shot the whole scene MOS.", "id": 16408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "A bank clerk once let out a moan,\n\"Greta Garbo is here on the phone,\nBut she just won't take 'No'\nAs my answer and go.\nTell me, why won't she leave me alone?\"", "id": 16409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Our affectionate bond's come unstuck,\nBut to prove that I'm not such a schmuck,\nHere's a gift for your goin':\nOne disc (Leonard Cohen),\nOne razor, and one rubber duck.", "id": 16410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "They divided the fields up among them\nAnd scattered their seeds \u2014 well, they slung them.\nBut their strips, although wide,\nHad a baulk at each side,\nAnd so onto the weeds they oft flung them.", "id": 16411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Its swiftness \u2014 not that of an arrow,\nBut a bullet \u2014 stirs life in the marrow\nOf bones that maintain,\nOn this sleek, sharp-nosed train,\nThat the fantasy-truth gap is narrow.", "id": 16412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your anatomy texts would construe\nThat your \"axis\" is vertebra two.\nThings called \"axoid\" pertain\nTo this bone, and remain\nQuite a pain in the neck to review!", "id": 16413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Reproduction in fungi? Two ways:\nAnamorph on asexual days,\nWherein budding's the norm,\nSo condidia form,\nUnlike teleo's sexual phase.", "id": 16414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm a marker the Coast Guard employs\nTo bring maritime safety.  My joy's\nIn the sonorous ring\nOf my bell as I swing;\nI'm just glad to be one of the buoys!", "id": 16415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You're a bully, and that I despise.\nDon't beat up on those meek little guys!\nThat one's light, half your height;\nIf you're spoiling to fight,\nPick on someone who's more your own size!", "id": 16416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bookworm will eat through the pages\nOf writings by prophets and sages.\nThis causes distress\nTo all bookworms, I guess,\nAnd is known to provoke nasty rages.", "id": 16417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The allotype tells us the sort\nOf an immunoglobulin\u2014short\nOf a full disquisition\nOn immunity's mission,\nI'll break off and I'll end my report.", "id": 16418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Godiva sat tall on her mare\nAs she rode through the streets on a dare.\nShe'd no shift or chemise,\nHer hair flew in the breeze,\nBut the lady, herself, was all there!", "id": 16419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We give thanks to our Savior today\nFor the food He's directed our way.\nIt's a veggie, pristine,\nCalled a butterhead, green,\nStaying clean with a Bibb. Let us pray.", "id": 16420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The sky is so cloudless we ooh\nAt the clear and cerulean view;\nBut then suddenly lightning\nIs striking\u2014it's frightening!\nWe've witnessed a bolt from the blue.", "id": 16421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "In the desert's unmerciful heat,\nThe legion was facing defeat.\nSomeone said, \"Sound the bugle\u2014\nThough rations are frugal,\nIf we beat a retreat we can eat.\"", "id": 16422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It was launched from a firm unimpeached.\nWhen it sank, the survivors beseeched\nOf the grand steamship line\nHow, by fluke or design,\nEvery watertight bulkhead was breached!", "id": 16423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "In old paintings, rotundity's fine.\nNow we tend to believe the \"svelte\" line\nHyped by Elle and TV\u2014\nAbout looks, don't you see:\nAdiposity's out, they opine.", "id": 16424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\"I've received the results of the scan\nOf your brain,\" my physician began,\n\"And I think there's a mass\nThat's malignant, alas.\nIt's a tumor the size of Sudan.\"", "id": 16425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An athlete in training can view\nLifting weights as a fine thing to do,\nAnd then later make tracks\nTo the pub and relax \u2014\nMaybe pick up a bar belle or two.", "id": 16426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "He was Mr. TV, but at first\nAs a child with Pearl White he rehearsed.\nUncle Miltie, an icon!\nThough he's someone I like, on\nMy word, some still say he's the worst!", "id": 16427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The bassoonist and cellist both found\nWith a harpsichord player around\nThat the bass line they roared\nWhile he filled out the chord\nMade the basso continuo sound.", "id": 16428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "A maverick dogie in Walker\nEluded the cowhand, its stalker.\nHe caught it at last;\nThough the calf's not bound fast,\nSturdy barbwire restrains the young balker.", "id": 16429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "The fetor of Joseph's axilla\nCould stop in its tracks a gorilla.\nTo obviate coma\nFrom armpit aroma,\nJoe favored a splash of vanilla.", "id": 16430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A break's what I'm planning to take,\nAfter breaking each promise I make;\nBut I promise I'll do\nWhat I've promised to you.\nHey, quit laughing, and give me a break!", "id": 16431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though he's cute and would like to be cuddled,\nWhen he chases the \"wabbit,\" he's muddled.\nHe'll never win hugs\nIf he runs after Bugs;\nHe'll remain Mr. Elmer Befuddled.", "id": 16432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "Jean Batten had yearnings to fly\nAll alone, like a bird in the sky.\nShe won trophies and fame\n(Schools and streets bear her name),\nBut down on the ground she was shy.", "id": 16433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "At the tavern, come in\u2014don't be stoic;\t\nNo need for excuses heroic.\t\t\nThe loud, happy hubbub\t\t\t\nYou'll hear in this nightclub\nExhibits high spirits bistroic.\t", "id": 16434, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Miss Marian Anderson\u2014star,\nDenied venue by (white) DAR,\nGained Abe Lincoln as host;\nShe was heard coast to coast\nAnd her singing thrilled all, near and far.", "id": 16435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "Finding shells of the brachiopod\nOn the top of a mountain seems odd.\nSuch a fossil find shows\nThat the ocean floor rose;\nPlate tectonics, they say, gets the nod.", "id": 16436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "In the windup to one of his pitches,\nBig Bob split a seam in his britches!\nWe laughed till we cried,\nPatched up trousers and pride;\nWe had Bob (and vice versa) in stitches!", "id": 16437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The little 4-H-er was praised\nFor the beautiful calf she had raised.\nThe judge said, \"It shows\nThat you love Elsie Rose.\"\n\"Oh, I will\", said the little girl, \"braised.\"", "id": 16438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "\"It's too salty,\" the critic opined;\nHis review was not meant to be kind.\n\"It's not that I'm fickle\u2014\nIt tastes like a pickle!\"\nThe corned beef was overly brined.", "id": 16439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "I'm in love (much to no one's surprise)\nWith a woman with agatine eyes.\nHer iris, when viewed,\nIs most wonderfully hued,\nLike an agate reflecting the skies.", "id": 16440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To Lloyd Bentsen, I'm penning this threnody.\nPolitician, his Texan \"idenidy\"\nShows best in this tale:\nWhile debating Dan Quayle\nHe said, \"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy.\"", "id": 16441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "You deposit your paycheck; it's great.\nYour balance goes up, so don't wait!\nYou should take that amount,\nReconcile your account,\nAnd your checkbook will be up to date.", "id": 16442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Cautious drivers will tend to agree: a\nSlick highway is no place to be. A\nCar's traction and \"feel\"\nCome through each driven wheel;\nAll-wheel drive, though, is no panacea.", "id": 16444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "A wife's wishes are crucial today\nIn electing accouchement forc\u00e9.\nHer spouse must consult,\nOr a likely result\nIs a ringless left hand on display.", "id": 16445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are dangerous toxins around;\nDeleterious factors abound.\nThe environment's scary,\nSo humans are wary.\nThey'd rather not rest underground.", "id": 16446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A butt is a beer-holding cask;\nIt's immense\u2014a leviathan's flask.\nSince its gallons equate\nTo a hundred and eight,\nIs that two or three kegs, may I ask?", "id": 16447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Blood vessels\u2014the arteries and veins\u2014\nAre the pipelines your body contains.\nIf they ever get blocked\n'Cause some fat has them locked,\nInfarctions impend, making pains.", "id": 16448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "I'm familiar with fowl that range free,\nBut these birds all lay under one tree.\nI asked, \"Why are they grounded?\"\nThe farmer expounded,\n\"These chickens are boneless, you see.\"", "id": 16449, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The whole of the world understands\nThat this leader has blood on his hands.\nHis butcherly reign\nIs completely insane,\nYet we cavil and meet his demands.", "id": 16450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Look, I know my appearance ain't neat\u2014\nI was lying there under your feet\nFor a few thousand years,\nTill some bogman appears...\nSo, I'm here again. Hullo. Name's Pete.", "id": 16451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Young", "limerick": "A buoyancy aid that's a vest\nIs commonly called a Mae West.\nShould you fall from your boat,\nIt will keep you afloat,\nAnd will treble the size of your chest.", "id": 16452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Young", "limerick": "A bursa's a fluid-filled bubble\nThat helps a joint move without trouble.\nThere are four near each knee,\nWhich is why you are free\nTo bend or extend at the double.", "id": 16453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "For you knitters who're tempted to squabble\nOver what constitutes a good bobble:\nIf it's put on a hat,\nThe size must be that\nWhich won't cause the poor wearer to wobble.", "id": 16454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Absurdism's lacking in rhymes,\nWhile Big Ben offers plenty of chimes.\nIn a stunning non-sequitur\nBob said, \"The heck wit' her!\"\n(Reported, page one, LA Times.)", "id": 16455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Don't shout, as though part of a rabble;\nSpeak gently: just murmur \u2014 don't gabble.\nNow your undulant tone\nIs still far from a drone;\nIt's a burble: you chatter and babble.", "id": 16456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A bitter old spinster named Barridge,\nWho lives with a cat in a garage,\nPerceives that her fate\nBecame sealed on the date\nShe deemed marriage an act to disparage.", "id": 16457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Are you middle class, Hindu and hearty?\nOwn a business or trade (maybe arty)?\nHold conservative views?\nWatch the Indian news?\nThen the BJP may be your party.", "id": 16458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "I said to the workman, \"You anchor\nBolt upright that beam to the tanker.\"\nBut he clearly misheard\nMy innocuous word,\nFor he punched me with force and with rancour.", "id": 16459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Though blind, Harry said, \"Never fear!\nI'll become a detective next year.\n'Stead of sight, I'll use sound\nWhen I'm snooping around.\nI'll be known as a bold private ear!\"", "id": 16460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My optometrist offers no hope;\nWhen his office anomaloscope\nShowed me red, I saw green.\nThat infernal machine\nSays I'm colorblind.  How will I cope?", "id": 16462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "\"Quickly, folks! Sell your home and take flight!\"\nSaid our realtor. \"Your neighborhood's white,\nBut it soon will have Asians\nAnd Blacks! Non-Caucasians!\"\nHe's a blockbusting moron, all right!", "id": 16463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "While cruising the sunny Caribbean,\nI found an enormous amphibian!\n\"Once you get to my cave,\"\nThe toad croaked, \"you're my slave,\nAlong with two Brits and a Libyan!\"", "id": 16464, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "The French Marxist Louis Althusser\n(A philosopher extraordinaire)\nSaid that interpellations\nForm subjects and nations\nWhen a culture calls out \"Hey, you there!\"", "id": 16465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Actinotrocha like water warm.\nThey're phoronids (an odd, larval, form).\nA preoral lobe serves\nTo hold ganglial nerves,\nAnd a cilial rear is the norm.", "id": 16466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Borborygmus: a rumbling sound\nIn your gut \u2014 we just heard one resound!\nIt is rude to the core...\nShould there ever be more,\nWe will shout \"borborygmi abound!\"", "id": 16467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "Nantucket, an island at sea,\nIs a place quite unique, you'll agree,\nBlest by Limerick's fame\nJust because of its name \u2014\nOh, crap! I've forgotten Dundee!", "id": 16468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An eructative, boorish old twerp\nDrank his soup with an audible slurp,\nDribbled food on his tie,\nPinched the girl serving pie,\nThen sat back and released a loud burp.", "id": 16470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"That's balderdash, bunkum, and crap!\"\nI exclaim to that blathering chap\nSpouting nonsense and bosh,\nAs we finish our nosh\nAnd prepare for our mid-morning nap.", "id": 16471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A woodworker out on the Cape\nTurned knickknacks that looked out of shape.\nHis blade seemed okay,\nBut the spindle \u2014 no way!\n\"My arbor's been bent \u2014 that's just grape!\"", "id": 16472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nan", "limerick": "The moonstone is adularescent.\nIt shines with a glow iridescent.\nThe opal is too,\nWith a sheen milky-blue\nThat can almost be called luminescent.", "id": 16473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "He explored and he drew back the curtain\nOn regions unknown or uncertain,\nOn peoples exotic,\nOn customs erotic:\nThe Captain Sir Richard F. Burton.", "id": 16474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mayra", "limerick": "A friend of mine goes through some urges;\nWhen food is before her, she splurges.\nShe's up to the hilt\nWith her self-induced guilt.\nShe's bulimic, you see, so she purges.", "id": 16475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "I am cursed with compelling affinity\nFor a vision of pure femininity\nWith curves just as regal\nAs the beak of an eagle.\nI'm talking about aquilinity.", "id": 16476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "Your pitifully short remonstration\nWould improve with some amplification.\nYou said the right stuff,\nThough not nearly enough\nFor a competent expostulation.", "id": 16477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My British friend, Nigel, is geeky.\nHis brother describes him as beaky.\nThis description arose\nFrom the length of his nose,\nWhich is Cyrano-like\u2014kind of freaky.", "id": 16478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bootblack gives footwear a shine\nUsing wax and a buffer. That's fine.\nBut his efforts will be\nRather bootless with me;\nAs I'm bootless, he'll never buff mine.", "id": 16479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This limerick won't be poetical\nOr have concepts you'll think are heretical\n'Cause it has no foundation\nIn logic, causation;\nIn fact it is atheoretical.", "id": 16480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Here's a fact that you're apt to discover\nWhen undressing your very first lover:\nWith her penchant for adding\nStrategical padding,\nYou can't judge a boob by its cover.", "id": 16481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My dessert, served al fresco, to start,\nWas a pie \u00e0 la mode, \u00e0 la carte.\nMy gar\u00e7on, named Alphonse,\nSaw my tepid response.\n\"Zut alors! Here's a strawberry tarte.\"", "id": 16482, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Certain orators given to levity\nHave careers of surprising longevity,\nBeing apt to enthrall,\nSaying little at all,\nAs the soul of wit's said to be brevity.", "id": 16483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An ox wearing socks in a box\nCaught a pox eating lox with a fox.\nIt sent shocks through the flocks\nTo see stocks of fine frocks\nBraced abox by an ox wearing socks.", "id": 16484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bwave hunter was hopelessly muddled;\nIn a snowbank, he'd shivered and huddled,\n'Til he spotted a wabbit,\nAnd twied vainly to nab it:\nThat wascal had Elmer befuddled.", "id": 16485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "stephenc", "limerick": "When one threw it the other would catch it\nAnd throw it right back\u2014not a scratch!  It\nFirst seemed that their fight\nMight go on the whole night\nTill one said, \"Let's just bury the hatchet.\"", "id": 16486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In my yard, what I heard! Let me share\u2014\nOl' G Dub told a shrub planted there\nThat his beard got a whack,\nFrom the Aussie out back,\nGuess which Bush is more dense. Do you dare?", "id": 16487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "A doctor got down on his knee,\nAsking, \"Dearest one, please marry me.\"\nWith a smile she agreed;\nShe's quite beamish indeed.\nA bright future she now can foresee.", "id": 16488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "She is known for her blistering wit.\nWith a viperous tongue she will spit,\nOut of anger or spite,\nPetty words that will bite\u2014\nIf you vex her, you're sure to get bit.", "id": 16489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If historical landmarks you seek,\nOut in Portland we've something unique:\nBenson Bubblers you'll see.\nDrinking water flows free\nAnd they're cleaned every day of the week.", "id": 16490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In the summer the bees like to be\nBuzzing round my most favorite tree.\nIt grows pears that are sweet\nAnd so yummy to eat.\nThey're called boscs, and they're heaven to me!", "id": 16491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Those new girls in Accounts will do fine.\nThe task of assessment is mine,\nAnd (let's have no sniggers)\nTo check out their figures,\nI've looked for the real bottom line.", "id": 16492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX and Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "My stitchery art on the wall\nRuns from A (five feet high) to z (small).\nMost letters I'll do;\nThe thirteenth I eschew\n'Cause I will not M broider at all.", "id": 16493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Have you seen those new sneakers with wheels\nThat are built in to each of the heels?\nYou can speedily roll,\nYou can casually stroll;\nYou should try it and see how it feels!", "id": 16494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "When a layman of low comprehension\nHas a Catholic describe the ascension,\nHe pictures a scene\nBoth sublime and serene\nShowing Jesus collecting his pension.", "id": 16495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "His dogma was poorly received \u2014\nWas it truth or deception he weaved?\nIt was hard to agree\n'Cause he said he's a tree;\nNo one knows if he'd truly believed.", "id": 16496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "There's a diff'rence, just look\u2014my \"abuse\"\nIsn't really that. That's 'cause my use\nIsn't over the top;\nHell, I know when to stop,\nAnd that's not just to make an excuse.", "id": 16497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "What a thoughtful and vivid bouquet\nYou dispatched\u2014it arrived here today.\nYellow mums and blue flags\nPerk up courage that sags\nAnd send \"Get well soon\" greetings my way.", "id": 16498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jo", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Sam\nWho proposed via radiogram.\nSaid his girl, \"That's quite nice,\nDear, but if you want rice,\nBend your knee here by me, not by ham.\"", "id": 16499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Here are four ways to savor the summer:\nSay \"hello\" to each brightly hued hummer,\nFeel the breeze on your face,\nPick a bunch of Anne's lace,\nAnd then dance to an alternate drummer.", "id": 16500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "I'm sorry to say I'm the burier\nOf Jerry, my Kerry Blue terrier.\nHe's deep in the ground\nWhere he won't make a sound\n'Cause he's dead from his head to his derrier.", "id": 16502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Behavioral scientists study\nHow boozing makes people feel cruddy.\nFrom blotches of ink,\nMy new shrink seems to think\nI'm a dink if I drink with you, buddy.", "id": 16503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If your car were in Britain you could\nSay bonnet and be understood,\nBut do not talk that way\nIf you're in East L.A.\u2014\nIt's just not the right word for that hood.", "id": 16504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Moaned Catherine the Great, \"Oh, ye gods!\nJust look how this horse of mine plods!\nHe finished the Ascot race\nQuite like a basket case\u2014\nThis despite five-to-one odds!\"", "id": 16505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Antifascism could not prevent\nThe last century's darkest event.\nToo many kept distance,\nToo few dared resistance:\nWe never shall end this lament.", "id": 16506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "In tones that were icy with frost,\nMy doctor remarked, \"Does the cost\nOf your endless complaint\nNot encourage restraint?\nYou're severely amyctic. Get lost!\"", "id": 16507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Our political parties all lurch\nFrom the left to the right as they search\nFor the middlemost ground.\nThe successful have found\nThat the voters reward a broad church.", "id": 16508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When the ash-breasted tit-tyrant bird\nLooks to mate, there's one hen that's preferred.\nIt's the black-breasted tit\nThat he'll look for and git\nFor some S&M frolics; my word!", "id": 16509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If only Ramona had known,\nShe would never have ambled alone\nIn a forest so snaky\nOn paths that were braky:\nWith brushwood and fern overgrown.", "id": 16510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Arena's the style of presenting\nA play \"in the round.\"  I'm lamenting\nIts use, since the trash\nHits our backs with a smash\nAs the audience jeers, unrelenting.", "id": 16511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In Christian religion, the Trinity\nIs worshipped; in Egypt, affinity\nTo boviform beasts\nWas encouraged by priests.\nWere these oxen, divine, their Bovinity?", "id": 16512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A wardrobe malfunction left Jock\nOff-kilter, and reeling in shock.\nAdrift in the breeze,\nWell below his old knees,\nWas a hairy and wrinkled old sock.", "id": 16513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Fair Venus's face shows disgust\nFrom arachnoids that blemish her crust.\nWhat act manufactures\nThese spider-web fractures?\nI shudder to ask, but I must.", "id": 16514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Obsessive-compulsives, untreated,\nHave ritual actions repeated.\nBehavior that drastic\nIs called anancastic,\nAnd indicates problems, deep-seated.", "id": 16515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A backdated check is defined\nAs a slightly unscrupulous kind,\nWhere the truth is distorted\u2014\nThe day it's purported-\nly dated precedes when it's signed.", "id": 16516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That quack chiropractor named Jack?\nLacking tact, he attracted attack.\nHe was sacked when he smacked\nEvery back that he cracked,\nWhich, in fact, left him taken aback.", "id": 16517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you said it, he wasn't annoyed;\nIt's a secret that Groucho enjoyed.\nGuessing right brought you luck,\nSince this little stuffed duck\nGave you 100 bucks for your \"woid\".", "id": 16518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I called up my agent, in fear\nThat my policy wasn't too clear,\nHis reply had me freaking:\nActuarially speaking,\nHe explained I'd been dead for a year.", "id": 16519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An anguis looks much like a snake;\nIt is easy to make a mistake.\nIt is also called slow\nWorm and blindworm although\nIt has eyes (and a tail that can break).", "id": 16520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"We can't marry,\" she taunted. \"My niche\nIs with someone who's\u2014basically\u2014rich.\"\nWell, I basically knew\nWe were basically through,\nSo said, \"Basically, dear, you're a bitch.\"", "id": 16521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "The bartender said, \"Oh, my stars!\nI'll be handing out Cuban cigars\nIf I'm ever paroled,\nFor I've spent, growing old,\nThe last 35 years behind bars.\"", "id": 16522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Beware wearing beachwear and such\n(Scanty swimsuits revealing too much):\nWhile you doze in a daze,\nUltraviolet rays\nScorch your hide 'til it's painful to touch.", "id": 16523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My grave shall be biodynamic:\nAs a corpse, you will find that I am ec-\nologically pure\nFor re-use as manure;\nExcept my false teeth \u2014 they're ceramic.", "id": 16524, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The cognizant cattle I raise\nKnow \"to nibble\" is one of the ways\nTo define the word browse.\nIn a field, hungry cows\n(Be they black, brown, or white) tend to graze.", "id": 16525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Each competitor's set in his stance\nAs the crowd shouts out loud rowdy chants.\nThen the quarterback taps\nOn the center, who snaps,\nAnd the ball carrier tries to advance.", "id": 16526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Believe it or not, I'm your brain.\nReasoned thought and interpreting pain\nAre activities that\nI'm superior at;\nNervous system command I maintain.", "id": 16527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "My allergies caused baryphonia\nWhen I happened upon a begonia.\nI'm a lady of class,\nSo I hope it will pass,\n'Cause I sound like a man from Slavonia.", "id": 16528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "If to turn things most sour you desire,\nThen your aim couldn't ever be higher\nThan to turn litmus red;\nSo it has to be said,\nAn acidifier's what you require.", "id": 16529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Researchers are using a toxin\nIn their labs (they have named it alloxan)\nTo give rats diabetes,\nDespite our entreaties,\nUnless A.L.F.'s throwing rocks in.", "id": 16530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Why so narrow a barrow provide\nFor to bury old Jerry, who died?\nWe have found that his mound\nIs too teensy around\nFor a corpse so astoundingly wide.", "id": 16531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A nasty disease is acanthes-\nthesia, for people or panthas.\nA sensation begins\nAs of needles or pins,\nAnd medicine ain't got no anthas.", "id": 16532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A dancer called Skinny Lenore\nWore bracelets and bangles galore.\nPirouettes death-defying\nSent anklets a-flying\nAnd skittering out through the door.", "id": 16533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "He's not paranoid\u2014no, this is real:\nBarry Bonds has few fans; that's the deal.\nAs his home runs accrue,\nBaseball fans' boos do too;\nThey're convinced he's on steroids, a heel.", "id": 16534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "This pipe organ, made in Namibia,\nDiscards diapason and tibia.\nInstead, all the stops \u2014\nCroaks and ribbits and plops \u2014\nAre assorted sounds made by Amphibia.", "id": 16535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "There's a myth that old Africans tell\nOf the basilisk's horrible smell.\nIt could kill with its breath,\nWhich was worse than a death\nFrom a witch doctor's magical spell.", "id": 16536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Yeah, it's true: where I work I'm unique,\nThough I haven't a sculpted physique,\nOr nice breath, or clean clothes,\nAnd I can't see my toes.\nBut I'm \"popular\": I'm alpha geek.", "id": 16537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Advances in micro-'lectronics\nMake Luddites display histrionics.\nDisease still afflicts us,\nBut circuits can fix us.\nReal soon we'll be \"Hooked on Bionics\".", "id": 16538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Many-parted and teary as shallot\nWas the way Janis got on the ballot.\nHer petition's packed lines\nGave permission for signs,\nAnd she whacked her pol' thumb with a mallet.", "id": 16540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Boilermakers, the ones I mean here,\nMake new boilers and keep them in gear.\nThe ones that I drink, though,\nJust mean I'll be stinko\nFrom whiskey chased down with a beer.", "id": 16541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Built by Romans (first digging a trench),\nIt is Aix-la-Chapelle for the French.\nCharlemagne\u2014Charles the Great,\nIn historical weight,\nSat in Aachen, as king on his bench.", "id": 16542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "It's a male, whether hamster or deer,\nIt's how horses react to show fear,\nIt's a once stylish shoe,\nAnd the writer, Pearl, too.\nYou don't want to see bucks disappear.", "id": 16543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A theology student (a godly 'un),\nAt Oxford, behaved rather oddly: 'n\nUrge to confess\nMade him tip off the press\nThat he'd found lots of porn in the Bodleian.", "id": 16544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Those superscript numerals may\nBibliographical entries portray:\nSome scholarly notes\nOr perhaps even quotes,\n\u00b9\n\n\u2014\u2014\u2014\n\u00b9Or perhaps they'll have nothing to say.", "id": 16546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "First his chest felt a terrible tightness;\nThen his head an exceptional lightness.\nThen his spirit broke free\nAnd proceeded to flee\nDown the tunnel that led to the brightness.", "id": 16547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In Dunedin, a beer-drinking student\nDrank more than was actually prudent.\nThe eager young scarfie\nWas soon feeling barfy,\nDigestible contents protrudent.", "id": 16548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When it's very fast music you're playing,\nIt's your technical skills you're conveying.\nAn allegro assai\nMeans your fingers must fly\nOr results will be very dismaying.", "id": 16549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The Valkyrie Brynhild or Brunhilde,\nFound her hero, and Siegfried fulfilled her.\nSinging \"hoyotoho!\"\nShe pampered her beau,\n'Til Siegfried's betrayal, which killed her.", "id": 16550, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "If you need to make loaves for a feast,\nAnd you have a few hours, at least\u2014\nBasic bread at its core\nHas ingredients four;\nThey are water, salt, flour and yeast.", "id": 16552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The number to phone in a fix?\n999, here in Britain. Don't mix\nUp your up and your down,\nOr the upright will frown:\nYou'll be calling the Beast, 666.", "id": 16553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Dear Mummy, Dad told me I may\nGet an arm or two busted today\nIf I don't write this letter,\nSo maybe I'd better.\nYour arm-loving loving son, Ray.", "id": 16555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An Olympian fencer named Coyle\nHad displayed epic skill with his foil.\nDeftly thrusting with care\nAnd considerable flair,\nHe had lanced his opponent's vile boil.", "id": 16556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "On the front of the head is the face,\nWithout doubt the superior place.\nThe much lower contender\nDeserves no defender \u2014\nSmiling arse about face would lack grace.", "id": 16558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Once a thirty-foot Amazon boa\nSurprised a poor chicle tree groa.\nHe got stuck to his tree,\nSo could only shriek, \"Eeee!\"\nAnd now the poor groa's no moa.", "id": 16559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Devaluation may beggar-thy-neighbor\nWhen selling the fruits of your labor.\nWhen your currency's cheaper\nRate of exports grows steeper,\nThough your neighbor may rattle his saber.", "id": 16560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Take a look in your specimens drawer.\nIf there's bornite, it's hard to ignore.\nIt's a main ore of copper\nAnd its color's a topper:\nIt could fit almost any decor.", "id": 16561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "An anobiid bug's a real pest.\nIt's a beetle that likes to ingest\nFine tobacco and food.\nWhen it's in the right mood,\nIt eats furniture\u2014what it likes best.", "id": 16562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Jake's in prison for having two wives.\nTo escape he ingeniously strives,\nSqueezing hands, feet and knees\nInto homes of some bees\nAnd is pleased when he breaks out in hives.", "id": 16563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Dumping toxins may cause some chagrin,\nFor they bioaccumulate in\nAll the creatures of Earth.\nBut for what it is worth,\nMy third arm helps me play violin.", "id": 16564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "There once was a time when we thought\nThat accelerin helped blood to clot;\nIt was called factor VI\nIn coagulant mix,\nBut the wind has changed. Now we think not.", "id": 16565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A lim'rick is often rejected\nWhen anapest meter's expected,\nAnd stresses appear\nWith no pattern that's clear,\nAnd no reason or rhyme is detected.", "id": 16566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The name of this game is displayed\nOn a card having numbers arrayed.\nCover five in a row\nAnd the word that you crow\nSays \"I won!\" That's a bingo you made.", "id": 16567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Blogonomics? Hey, gimme a break!\nIt's a science? Go jump in a lake!\"\nSo I said to a buddy\nWho showed me a study\nOf blogs and the money they make.", "id": 16568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With setbacks besetting my lover\nAnd storm clouds collecting above her,\nShe shows her facility\nFor bouncebackability,\nFinding a way to recover.", "id": 16569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A poor Lord had just purchased a Ford,\nThough the car left him thoroughly bored.\nSaid he couldn't afford\nTo obtain an Accord,\nOr a Cord that was lately restored.", "id": 16570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm making up poetry, fashion'll\nOften govern the form, although passion'll\nTake over my pen;\nSo I've got to quit when\nWhat I'm writing becomes antirational.", "id": 16571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The brave Browns had a touchdown called back;\nElectronics confirmed a clear sack.\n(Under Article Two,\nUpon further Review)\nReplay Service annulling the YAC.", "id": 16573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I love bees, both the honey and bumble,\nBut the honeybee's best.  I feel humble\n'Cause I take all their honey\nAnd don't pay them money,\nAnd they buzz\u2014but they don't ever grumble.", "id": 16574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I finished my cheating-and-prank check\nHe offered to pay with a blank check\nFor the work we'd discussed,\nBut I still didn't trust;\nI insisted on having a bank check.", "id": 16575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The birder's existence is rife\nWith adventure and danger and strife.\nIn heat like a sauna\nI watched avifauna\nWhile bird-watchers ogled my wife.", "id": 16576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "So the deans are concerned that the frosh\nAre subsisting on butternut squash.\nBut who cares if the hordes\nLove those flavorful gourds;\nThey're nutritious, you fascists! My gosh!", "id": 16577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In re of my PM 2 U,\nPls send RSVP before 2.\nNot OK to PO\n#1 CEO.\nNeed it ASAP, PDQ.", "id": 16578, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our plumbing's benumbingly bleak.\nIt's becoming a plumbing antique,\nSince the main's running slow,\nAnd the drains never go\u2014\nSave the week we developed a leak.", "id": 16579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My accountant just told me she's sad,\nFor she's cut off her fingers. That's bad,\nBut it's not, I suppose,\nLike she's lost, for her toes\n(With her abacus) still help her add.", "id": 16580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Albata's an alloy, I think,\nBlending copper and nickel and zinc.\nAnd it's found in the spoons\nThat I use to play tunes\nOn my wine glasses\u2014clink clink clink clink.", "id": 16581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In our passion to never know dearth,\nWe obsess about burgeoning worth.\nWe'll bloat as we burgeon\nAnd end like that sturgeon,\nAfloat belly-up in the firth.", "id": 16582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Not till toasting a win has long ceased\nTo be part of a victory feast\nWill we dare to think ill\nOf the beermaker's skill,\nOr the part played by live brewer's yeast.", "id": 16583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "In a parking lot, Peanut was halted\nBy a hoodlum who punched him and vaulted\nO'er a neighboring truck.\nOur poor hero was struck,\nAnd the cops said this Nut was assaulted.", "id": 16584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Evan Schiller", "limerick": "Lots of people find apples delightful,\nAnd Newton found one most insightful.\nBut oh, mercy me!\nWhen they fall from the tree!\nBarophobia: gravity's frightful.", "id": 16585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "It's a hobby\u2014I do it for sport,\nStill not sure ta-ta-tum is my forte.\nAll this limerick stuff\nWith its editing's tough.\nMakes me wonder which ones to abort.", "id": 16586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In my last gastronomic adventure,\nEscargots had got caught in my denture.\nThen from gastropod hell,\nOne squirmed out of its shell ...\nGhastly meal! Where's a chef I can censure?", "id": 16587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "My teddy bear, whom I loved dearly,\nWas named Astroid because he was clearly\nThe shape of a star.\nAnd that's it, there you are,\nHe was star-shaped (I miss him sincerely).", "id": 16588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Due to Hamilton's slanderous slur,\nHe was challenged to duel Aaron Burr.\nWe know Hamilton still\nFrom the ten-dollar bill,\nYet his killer's recalled as a cur.", "id": 16589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I don't want to go out with a drunk,\nOr a guy who will act like a punk.\nYou suggest that I date\nAn Antonian?  Great!\nThe guy's an Armenian monk.", "id": 16590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Angelolaters, when they're at prayer,\nWorship angels, on high, in the air,\nIn the clouds overhead,\nAnd they hope, when they're dead,\nTo abide with the angels up there.", "id": 16591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They say buskin's a genre of acting,\nOn tragedies mainly impacting;\nAnd its origin's cute\u2014\nIt's a Greek actor's boot,\nLaced and worn in a manner exacting.", "id": 16592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The rock star would like us to hear\nHis antidrug speech, loud and clear:\n\"Just stay sober and clean!\n(It's you kids that I mean,\nBecause I snort cocaine and drink beer).\"", "id": 16593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Between meals, there's a tedious span\nThat I shorten, according to plan,\nWith a bever (or snack)\nOf gazpacho or yak\nOr some cheese that I spray from a can.", "id": 16594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Al-Sirat is the bridge razor-thin\nInto paradise. Cross it to win\nIslam's longlasting bliss,\nBut below's hell's abyss,\nWhich all Muslims try not to fall in.", "id": 16595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "The bracelet she wore on her wrist\nSoftly chimed while her hand formed a fist.\nShe broke my poor nose\nAnd I learned, I suppose,\nThat some women don't want to be kissed.", "id": 16596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When you visit a faraway country,\nYour habits may seem an effrontery.\nWhat's normal at home\nMight affront one in Rome;\nIn Japan, don't drink Bud, ask for Suntory.", "id": 16597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm surprised, Leonardo, you chose\nTo portray that particular pose.\nThough you added a smile\nThat will doubtless beguile,\nDid she need that additional nose?", "id": 16598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whether bonchief or mischief befalls you,\nSo your fortune appeals or appalls you,\nIt seems clear that your fate's\nTo appear at those Gates,\nIrrespective, when destiny calls you.", "id": 16599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bookmaker rarely forgets\nTo collect when you're losing your bets.\nYou find yourself scrambling\nTo pay for your gambling\nWhile running up wagering debts.", "id": 16600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a bookie who's starting to see\nA few bettors place wagers with me.\nIf they all took that tack,\nI'd be back in the black:\nWhat a punter-full world this would be.", "id": 16601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Give Grandma a kiss and wave bye-bye,\nAnd thank her again for the mai tai,\nAnd the weed that she shared;\nLet's just hope she's not snared\n'Fore she visits again in her tie-dye.", "id": 16602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "To the Guinness Book judges wrote Stone,\nAdmitting a fact then unknown:\n\"So base are my drives,\nThat those twenty-nine wives\nI have had, I'm afraid, weren't my own.\"", "id": 16603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Dirty speech is a slippery slope;\nBorborygmites, who use it, may hope\nIf they swear or they curse,\nThe results are no worse\nThan a mouthful of punitive soap.", "id": 16604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A misnomer that gets my attention\nIs that birth control's not the prevention\nOf childbirth per se.\nContraception's a way\nTo place weight on the proper dimension.", "id": 16605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Were our verses all cloyingly clean,\nAnd bedazzling with shimmering sheen,\nWe would blind you, so we,\nMore for you than for me,\nHave slipped smudges of smut in-between.", "id": 16606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Clever Greek Alexandrian, Hero,\nTook steam-jet propulsion from zero\nTo heat-hissing joys\nCalled aeolipiles, boys \u2014\nThen he sent some as toys to crazed Nero.", "id": 16607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An alienist, Dr. Bob Lyle,\nWas consulted in many a trial.\nHe affirmed mental fitness\nOf defendant and witness,\nBut a guy like E. T.? Not his style.", "id": 16608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If that restaurant's serving a beer\nThat they brew in a vat in the rear,\nAnd they're making the ale\nThat they offer for sale\nWith the food, it's a brewpub, you hear?", "id": 16609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "You hear \"cardiologist's dream.\"\nButter, Parmesan cheese, and some cream\nMake Alfredo sauce rich,\nBut my arteries don't twitch\u2014\nDeep-fried lard is a bit more extreme.", "id": 16610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\u00dcbermanagers offered amends\nAfter layoffs dis-membered our friends.\nTo accept would be cheap:\nIf it rose from the deep,\nMy morale would expire from the bends.", "id": 16611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "A good acupuncturist's known\nFor treating each pain, and he's shown\nHe can find pressure points\nFor those muscles and joints,\nSticking needles in up to the bone.", "id": 16612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A selky, soign\u00e9e in her silk,\nIn the Shetlands (as suited her ilk)\nLeft me reeling, unmanned,\nWith her watery bland\u2014\nIt's a liquor fermented from milk.", "id": 16613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a beach that is nudism-zoned,\nAll my sunscreen and lotion is loaned\nTo the women who lie\nOn their bellies, so I\nCan apply it\u2014no stern's left untoned.", "id": 16614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "To blow bubbles with sugary candy,\nTry bubblegum, ever so dandy!\nBut that bubble might tear\nAnd get caught in your hair,\nSo I hope you have mayonnaise handy!", "id": 16615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All over before it began,\nOn a beach somewhere north of Spokane,\nAnd all over the news:\nThe cops wouldn't excuse\nMy pursuit of an all-over tan.", "id": 16616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Humpty Dumpty was known as a rambler,\nAnd at lights, a devout amber gambler.\nThrough yellows, he'd dash\nTill a multi-car crash\nTurned his yolk to one vast \"amber scrambler.\"", "id": 16617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was begging my lead-footed niece,\n\"This ridiculous speeding must cease!\nAs your passenger, I'm\nNot that worried 'bout time.\nPlease just get me there all in one piece!\"", "id": 16618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As an airman, whenever I choose\nWhat to wear, I prefer my dress blues.\nOne: They make me look hot.\nTwo: The guys who get shot\nAre all wearing those drab BDUs.", "id": 16619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I am presently under arrest\nAll because of a BAT!\" he confessed.\nHe was jailed, it was true,\nBy our town's men in blue\nSince he'd failed a blood alcohol test.", "id": 16620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As children, the fishbowl we eyed \u2014\nTwo identical goldfish inside.\nBelly-up one fish went,\nAnd my sister's lament?\n\"What a shame, Chris.  Your goldfish has died.\"", "id": 16621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My name's 'Blitzen,' you say?  Are you sure?\nIt's that idiot Clement C. Moore\nWho had named me that way.\nWere he with us today\nI'd bombard him with reindeer manure!\"", "id": 16622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When Dee-Dee, Marie, and J.D.\nSee a bee tree they flee and call me,\nPay a fee (A.B.C.\u2014\nAnti-Bee Company),\nAnd we knee each wee bee in the tree.", "id": 16624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My wife, an audacious good-looker,\nApprenticed herself to a hooker.\nWith the tricks of the trade,\nLord, the money she made!\nAs a cop, though, my job was to book her.", "id": 16625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A house cow survives if it's tame,\nAnd for chickens that lay it's the same.\nBut for sundry sad swine\nIt's the end of the line,\nAs the baconer's fate is its name.", "id": 16626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Last summer, my wife was arrested.\nWith an interest decidely vested,\nAt her trial I got chills\nFrom her sexual skills\nTo which 200 clients attested.", "id": 16627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Asked the judge, \"Were you ever aware\nOf a feeling of loss or despair?\"\nI replied, \"I've no doubt\nThat she loved me throughout\nThis whole sordid affair, yes, AFAIR.", "id": 16628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So I begged for the judge to be gentle,\nAnd he was, against type, non-judgmental.\nHer perks, I had pleaded,\nWere desperately needed:\nHer health plan now covered my dental.", "id": 16629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Justice triumphed, I'm happy to say,\nWhen some \"evidence\" came into play:\nThere were photos of scenes\nShowing prim high school teens\nAnd a naked and drunk ADA.", "id": 16630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Now the trial's in the past, I feel great!\nI've returned to my natural state:\nAlongside of my wife\nIn our love nest for life.\n(Plus she gives me her \"In-Family\" rate!)", "id": 16631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I suppose Rose chose bows for those hose\nTo expose lows she knows 'bout pros' clothes.\nJoe's hos pose in rows\nSo's no beaus doze.  It shows!\nThey oppose Poe's crow's foes\u2014'cause prose blows!", "id": 16632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A 3-pointer's a shot from wa-a-a-ay back\nThat can spark an offensive attack\nOn a basketball court,\nOr, if hunting's your sport,\nIt's a buck with a very small rack.", "id": 16633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I do not put on airs as a rule.\nNever went to no finishin' school.\nSo billiards, I'd say,\nIs what rich bastards play,\nBut poor low-lifes like us?  We shoot pool.", "id": 16637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term beach bum's no longer PC\nAnd so if you're referring to me,\nI'm a \"sun-rich downscale\nUnderprivileged male\nFree air oceanfront self-employee.\"", "id": 16638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This \"professional\" wrestling is junk!\nAnd this \"Good guy v. Bad guy\"?  All bunk!\nThe \"babyface\" (sneer!)\nIs the guy the fans cheer\nWhile the \"heel\" is the guy who's the punk.", "id": 16639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A storm labeled anticyclonic\nHas winds in a twisting shape, conic.\nIn a northern location,\nIt's a clockwise rotation;\nIn the south, counterclockwise is chronic.", "id": 16640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Antidesiccant sprayed on a plant\nIs a shield against dryness to grant\nTo the roots you expose,\nOr the leaves on your rose,\nExtra time; transplant losses are scant.", "id": 16641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the period pre-World War Two,\nThe style blackface, it's sad but it's true,\nFeatured jokes at their basest,\nIncredibly racist,\nTo please folks of modest IQ.", "id": 16642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An agenda that's hidden?  No way!\nI am flat out upfront when I say\nThat I want what I want,\nDon't believe in detente,\nAnd will crush all who stand in my way!", "id": 16644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If I talk of your blemish a bit,\nI hope that you won't have a fit.\nIt's quite euphemistic\nAnd sounds more artistic\nThan pimple or blackhead or zit.", "id": 16645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "He's five children, two dogs, and a cat;\nLoves his job, collects rugs, wears a hat.\nSo in short say of him\nHis life's filled to the brim\u2014\nAnd so too, I might add, is his flat.", "id": 16646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "So your car is in need of repair?\nAnd your plumbing's been clogged up with hair?\nGet a blue-collar man\nLike 'ol Dan on Roseanne.\nAn accountant would just point and stare!", "id": 16647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The nose of my camel once went\nIn my tent to a tiny extent.\nBut he followed his nose,\nAnd disturbed my repose,\nWhile annexing the rest of my tent.", "id": 16648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He was valiantly trying to push\nThrough the dense Amazonian bush.\nNow, we're holding his wake\n'Cause a  bushmaster snake\nPut its venomous fangs in his tush.", "id": 16649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Miss Muffet was bitten by spiders,\nShe had cov'rage with policy riders.\nBut she wasn't protected\u2014\nHer claim was rejected\nBy all her assurance providers.", "id": 16650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While bulls who buy stocks are unbear-able,\nAnd china-shop bulls un-repair-a-bull,\nWho went down to defeat\nIn the Labyrinth of Crete?\nSome poor soul in a costume from Wear-a-Bull.", "id": 16651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Buy my spiral-leaved tropical plants!\nWeird bromeliads \u2014 sure to entrance!\nThese are watered by fogs;\nThis one holds larval frogs.\nAvoid that \u2014 it's a haven for ants.", "id": 16652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"Got some olives?\" I asked of the briner.\n\"Yes indeed, and they couldn't be finer.\nI use salt straight from Brest,\nAnd the water is blessed\nBy my priest, so the taste is diviner.\"", "id": 16653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A boozy astronomer tried\nHis observing while he was still fried.\nBeing clumsy, the dope\nSmacked his skull on a 'scope,\nAnd saw stars, which he drunkenly eyed.", "id": 16654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A-OK means that everything's cool,\nBut how to apply that at school?\nIf A's just okay,\nThen view B's with dismay.\nAny lower? A dunce cap, you fool!", "id": 16655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To a maiden, the warlock opined,\n\"To reject me, you'd have to be blind.\nI'm the 'World's Greatest Louver'.\"\nThe words did not move her;\nCasting spells like that gets you maligned.", "id": 16656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Using modems, you see bps:\nBytes per second is wrong to express.\nBaud is wrong (yes, I checked);\nBits per second's correct.\nThe misuses cause pedants distress.", "id": 16657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "It's at 440 cycles per second\nThat the modern \"A\" standard is reckoned.\nIt's been sharper and flatter;\nWe needed the matter\nResolved, and this round number beckoned.", "id": 16658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you're heating the water, it's roiling,\nThen its surface is churning and moiling\n(Though apparently not\nIf you're watching that pot)\n'Til its vaporized bubbles are boiling.", "id": 16659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"I'll work topless,\" she said off the bat,\nWhile removing her flowery hat;\nBut, on hearing bare-breasted,\nShe quickly protested,\n\"I didn't think topless meant THAT!\"", "id": 16660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Push a buggy along on the street?\nYou could fry up an egg on concrete!\nYet you're wheeling your baby;\nI have to think, maybe\nYou're buggy, with all of this heat.", "id": 16661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A brassiere, with its ribbons and lace,\nCould be holding each breast in its place.\nBut my love understands\nThat the cup of my hands\nCould provide them a warmer embrace.", "id": 16662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "\"I have to look sharp tonight, hubby.\"\n\"You're not.  You are looking damn chubby.\"\n\"You are so frickin' blunt!\nYou insensitive...\"  *grunt!*\nA blunt instrument killed him.  (A clubby!)", "id": 16663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A weatherman, Wally, from Welly\nHad pockets of gas in his belly.\n\"It's breezy today,\"\nHe managed to say\nThrough wind gusts that turned him to jelly.", "id": 16664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A gal by the first name of Jill\nHad an accent as broad as a hill.\n\"Whatcha mean that me thighs\nAre as wide as the skies?\"\nShe's a broad broad who broadly speaks, still.", "id": 16665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Adventuristic? Not me. I conform\nTo convention: keep clear of the storm \u2014\nThat's my motto. No shaker\nOr mover, trend-breaker\nOr -setter, I stick to the norm.", "id": 16666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Is there wonder the gentlemen fall\nFor the ladies, so winsome and tall,\nWho strew their fair tresses\nO'er deep plunging dresses,\nAs they strut at the promenade ball?", "id": 16667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I've got thousands of flatfish to gut\u2014\nShoals of sole, piles of plaice. What a glut!\nThere's a turbot here too!\nI've got so much to do\nThat I can't sit around on my butt.", "id": 16668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm stunned by the awesome array\nOf bridgework we're seeing today.\nMy dentist now fusses\nWith girders and trusses,\nWhen once his concern was decay.", "id": 16669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Free peoples should find it abhorrent\nThey'll clandestinely issue a warrant.\nWhen officials decide\nSecret laws are applied,\nConstitutional freedoms just aren't.", "id": 16670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My camel, untrammeled, had meant\nTo acquire my entire desert tent.\nJust his nose? That's a ruse\nThat's designed to confuse,\nWhile pursuing 100%.", "id": 16671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "There are times when I feel sort of grim,\nIn my pity pool taking a swim.\nI awaken each dawn\nAll alone.  Red is gone.\nI get bluer just thinking of him.", "id": 16672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kengrey", "limerick": "I've purchased, I've bartered, I've bought.\nI've shopped till I dropped in the court.\nI'm all out of cash,\nAnd I'm getting a rash.\nDo I care? Not a bit! Not a thought!", "id": 16673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I must read Moby Dick or presume\nThat in Lit I face failure and doom.\nSome abridging is needed\nSince Melville exceeded\nThe volume that I can consume.", "id": 16674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It's one show always certain to please,\nWith three rings and a flying trapeze,\nAnd fierce lions that roar\nAs the acrobats soar,\nSo this big top's no circus of fleas.", "id": 16675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "From the time I was little, a child,\nHow I loved to be laughing, beguiled\nBy the silliest things,\nLike a push on the swings.\nNow you know \u2014 I was born to be wiled.", "id": 16676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For amusement, the Ferris wheel curls\nRound and round through the sky as it twirls.\nWhen we fly through the air\nWe hear screams from Voltaire:\n\"It's the best of all possible whirls!\"", "id": 16677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "As a lawyer, there's nobody baser;\nYou'd think that her methods disgrace her.\nThough it's strange, here we are\nGetting soused in a bar,\nDrinking beer with an ambulance chaser.", "id": 16678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biquinary numbers derive\nFrom two systems\u2014base 2 and base 5.\nEvery decimal n\nIs expressible then\nAs a sum (if you're hip to the jive).", "id": 16679, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I don't understand what you're thinking,\nBut I sometimes suspect you've been drinking,\nWhen you badger and mock\nSuch a sweet-smelling brock\nWith that scurrilous epithet, stinking!", "id": 16680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Two young cousins were felling some trees.\nOne, alarmed by the stiffening breeze,\nHollered, \"RUN! snags could break!\"\nSo they'd one choice to make\u2014\nAnd departed with relative ease.", "id": 16681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Wispy and light as a feather,\nThe cirrus clouds travel together.\nBut warnings of storming\nAccumulate, forming\nThe nimbus of treacherous weather.", "id": 16682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I thought that you'd give me a kiss\u2014\nNot a pale imitation like this.\nIt just doesn't seem fair\nThat you're kissing the air\u2014\nWhere you aim for my cheek, and just miss.", "id": 16683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A bee passing by from the blue\nSaw a fly, gave a quick \"Howdy-do.\"\n\"Should I flee,\" thought the fly,\n\"From this bee flying by?\nYes I should.\" And so homeward he flew.", "id": 16684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A terrorist born in Bahrain,\nOn the Gulf, hoped for virgins in vain.\nSeems the bomb he had hidden\nExploded unbidden.\nHe lives, but few organs remain.", "id": 16685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "If cleverly used and applied,\nThe sciences\u2014scientists' pride\u2014\nGive the engineers tools\nAnd designers the rules\nFor the hi-tech toys selling worldwide.", "id": 16686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "When I'm out shooting grouse with the Queen\nWe are hidden; by grouse we're not seen.\nJust a low wall will do\nFor this butt made for two\nOut of stone, or of turf that is green.", "id": 16687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I've a butt of fine wine \u2014 take a peep.\nOnce it's opened, you know it won't keep.\nHave a glass my dear, do;\nHark, it's calling to you:\n\"Drink me up and I'll help you to sleep.\"", "id": 16688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In Japan, a pearl diver (or ama)\nWill face deadly undersea drama\nIn hopes the day's catch\nWill provide enough scratch\nFor a mansion in North Yokohama.", "id": 16689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though challenges loom up horrendously,\nEach one of you meets them stupendously.\nWe may not be done\nTill the year '31\nBut, ahead of time, thank you tremendously!", "id": 16691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My uncle devotedly guards\nOne huge wall filled with QSL cards.\nFrom each continent, these\nAll say \"73's!\"\nWhich in ham means \"Hello, best regards!\"", "id": 16692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was bending my elbow alone\nIn a bar where I wasn't well known,\nWhen this drunkard named Lyle\nBent my ear for a while:\nTwo straight hours of \"Moan, moan, moan, moan\"!", "id": 16693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You lazy accidious lout!\nThis is it; pack your stuff and get out!\nSuch a layabout slob,\nGet a life!  Get a job!\nYou're a loser beyond any doubt!", "id": 16694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What's the first thing to do?  Let debris settle.\nThen scoop up the gold; it's your key metal.\nQuickly lock the front door\nOf your swank jewelry store\nWhere you slipped and fell ass-over-teakettle.", "id": 16695, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "At the wake of my Great-Uncle Glen,\nI'm surrounded by grim, somber men.\nMade from different stuff, kiddo,\nI hit on the widow;\nI'm acting the fool once again!", "id": 16696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abe Lincoln bugs, I have heard tell,\nHave a taste just as bad as their smell.\nSo's you won't be confused,\nI have heard this term used\nWhere the harlequin cabbage bugs dwell.", "id": 16697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When your deadbeats owe varied amounts,\nYour balance sheet might well announce:\n\"These payments have stalled.\"\nThis figure is called\nAn allowance for doubtful accounts.", "id": 16698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adfenestration's a burglar's technique:\nThrough your window he'll quietly sneak.\nIf you're not at home now\nThere's a chance, I avow,\nYou are being ripped off as we speak.", "id": 16699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My dad is an interesting case:\nHe can not tell his foot from his face.\nNow Mom is distraught.  \"Oh,\nHe suffers from auto-\ntopagnosia!  What a disgrace!\"", "id": 16700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Someone's husband was caught shootin' dice?\nAnd she's strayed from her vows once or twice?\nAnd you heard what they said?\nYou've got gossip to spread?\n\"Bite your tongue\" is the wisest advice.", "id": 16701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With his alieniloquy, Fred\nSought to sidetrack the stranger.  He said,\n\"Like a mint?  What's your sign?\nWhat's the cube root of nine?\"\n(The man's wife had been caught in Fred's bed.)", "id": 16702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As an archer, I hold the bow tight\nIn my left hand, but later I might\n(For a change of pace) twiddle\nAround with my fiddle;\nIn that case, the bow hand's my right.", "id": 16704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The word ban is an old appellation\nA Slavonian or a Croatian\nOr Hungarian knew\nFor a governor who\nWas in charge of a part of their nation.", "id": 16705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Backwoodsman: a true pioneer\u2014\nUnrefined like the open frontier.\nOr it's also a twit\nWho will not do his bit,\nSeldom sitting in Lords as a peer.", "id": 16706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Boneheadedness runs in my kin;\nWe have skulls that are thick and not thin.\nOur grandfather's brain\nWas so small, we explain,\nIt could fit on the head of a pin.", "id": 16707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the winter we're always awash\nIn the bottle-shaped butternut squash,\nBut the rumor I'm bored\nWith this buff-colored gourd\nAnd its orangey flesh is just bosh!", "id": 16708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A low-level hustler named Joe,\nJust a minnow as coke dealers go,\nMade a fabulous score\u2014\nLike no other before.\nHe's so stunned that he's minding his blow.", "id": 16709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The rest of the booze that you've got'll\nMake you drunk, and as likely as not'll\nGet you too sick to care\nHow to squeeze it in there\u2014\nBuild your ship in some emptier bottle!", "id": 16710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"But it's beachwear!\" you claim as I stare\u2014\n\"It's those bitsy bikinis you wear.\nThough you've covered your bits,\nThey give everyone fits:\nYou just barely avoid being bare!\"", "id": 16711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When my energy's boundless, I've found\nI can pounce, with a leap and a bound,\nOn my bountiful prey\u2014\nI'll have zebra today.\n(Ah, the fantasy life of a hound!)", "id": 16712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "His liturgy's hard to surpass,\nBut brevity's lacking, alas.\nThe Te Deum keeps going\nWith no sign of slowing:\nInertial's the word for this Mass.", "id": 16713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a typical mystery story,\nSome detective inspector wins glory\nBy explaining those clues\nThat were meant to confuse\nHow that corpse became bloodstained and gory.", "id": 16714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "No speaker were bleaker than Spence,\nWhose inflections makes nearly no sense.\nSince his bent were to muff\nAccidentiary stuff,\nMoods and tenses be making him tense.", "id": 16715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Antiepileptics: the way\nThat we keep someone's seizures at bay.\nIf you've got that disease,\nThen make sure, won't you please:\nTake your meds to be sure you're okay.", "id": 16716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Of my dentist, I'll never complain;\nMy allegiance he's managed to gain.\nNot in word nor in deed\nWill he ever exceed\nMy absolute threshold for pain.", "id": 16717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bioethicists: eggheads involved\nIn dilemmas that people want solved.\nIs it okay to clone\nIf the cells are one's own?\n(But such questions are seldom resolved.)", "id": 16718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "The job of a backplate, it's clear,\nIs to fend off attacks from the rear.\nBut though metal and hard,\nThis equipment won't guard\nAgainst backstabbing liars, I fear.", "id": 16719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Boyfriends? I really don't need 'em.\nMen in general? I try not to heed 'em,\nBut when sexy and sure\nWith romantic allure,\nThey beglamour me out of my freedom!", "id": 16720, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "At Altamont Raceway, the Stones\nHad Hells Angels protecting their bones.\nThen the bikers, in rage,\nKilled a fan near the stage\u2014\nOutdoor concerts were now combat zones.", "id": 16721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The choirmaster thoroughly ticked us\nOff for a poor Benedictus;\nBut we in the choir\nAre unmoved by his ire \u2014\nIt was he, after all, who hand-picked us.", "id": 16722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Target-shooting I simply adore;\nAnd although I am short I still score.\nI could go on for hours\nDescribing my powers\nAnd ensure that you're thinking small bore.", "id": 16723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Seems an eagle\u2014an egalitarian\u2014\nTried eschewing his diet of carrion.\nBut he learned, with dismay,\nThat an old bird of prey\nFinds it irksome to stay vegetarian.", "id": 16724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though I'd count this a bounteous feast,\nWhat you're serving's unnerving, at least.\nTo be perfectly frank,\nI'd prefer if this flank\nCame from beasts that, at least, were deceased.", "id": 16725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'd been trimming these trees every day\u2014\nTiny bonsai that fit in a tray.\nYelling \"Ten thousand years!\"\nI'd attack with my shears,\nTil I'd trimmed them completely away.", "id": 16726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Biota's a term that's assigned\nTo the flora and fauna combined.\nIndividual lions\nOr scallions are bions;\nA man, not the whole of mankind.", "id": 16727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I ordered a blintz filled with jelly,\nAnd some matzoh ball soup at this deli.\nIt was all so delicious,\nI added knishes,\nJudiciously filling my belly.", "id": 16728, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There are folks that you'd love to restrain\nFrom repeating the same old refrain.\nYou surmise that they're done,\nBut\u2014surprise!\u2014they've begun\nOnce again\u2014with the same old refrain.", "id": 16729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An electron now targetward flies;\nIts velocity gradually dies.\nMany wavelengths it makes\nAs it puts on the brakes:\nThus, the bremsstrahlung rays will arise.", "id": 16730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"I'm making you right-brained,\" she said,\nAs she brained me right over the head.\nWas she merely sadistic?\nI'm no more artistic,\nExcept that I'm now seeing red.", "id": 16731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The right-brained (or artsy-inclined)\nHave the kind of a mind that's maligned.\nBut you've heard the old joke\nThat the left-brained are folk\nWho are out of their (so-called) right mind.", "id": 16732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At baggage claim, sometime last week,\nSat a buzzard with bags in her beak,\nRudely thrown from a plane,\nTold she couldn't remain\u2014\nAs her carrion bags had this ... reek.", "id": 16733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My bird, who hawks housewares in York,\nIs so chicken, afraid of the stork,\nThat she'll bill, coo, and spoon\nFor the whole afternoon,\nBut duck out when I'm ready to fork.", "id": 16734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Neither lender nor borrower be,\nSince the best things in life are all free.\nCould you really get by\nBlithely buying that lie?\nWe should blow all your money and see.", "id": 16735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those nudists are tough to ignore\nWhen they're baggy and saggy and more.\nNeither buff, fit, nor trim,\nThey don't slim at the gym;\nMust they swim in the buff at the shore?", "id": 16736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We ordered our drinks long ago,\nBut the service is hopelessly slow.\nWe'll more quickly imbibe\nIf we slip him a bribe\u2014\nSome baksheesh. Have ya got any dough?", "id": 16737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you dive in the water headfirst,\nAnd you let out a breath while immersed,\nBubbles angrily swarm\nIn a violent storm\n'Til they throng to the surface and burst.", "id": 16738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since your spirit and aura have brightened,\nWith your sense of the universe heightened,\nYou've got Buddhahood, Jack!\nYou don't need to come back\nTo a life with us poor unenlightened.", "id": 16739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At brillig, the time we broil dinner,\nWe'll cook bandersnatch, after we skin 'er.\nThough I don't like to boast,\nIt's so frabjous a roast\nSince we're stuffing a boojum within 'er.", "id": 16740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Lily and Daisy and Rose\nWent afield where the wildflower grows,\nDid they while away hours\nWhilst gathering flowers,\nOr wilt in the sunshine and doze?", "id": 16741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On a couch sits a slouchy potater.\nAny moment, he'll meet his Creator,\nWith aortic stenosis\nAnd calcific sclerosis,\nStill avouching he'll exercise later.", "id": 16742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Old Aesop, a classical gent,\nHad a clear allegorical bent.\nYou could learn from the words\nOf his critters and birds\nAnd discern what his parables meant.", "id": 16743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Little brats I believe I could choke\nPushed my bookcases down as a joke.\nSuch tricks hardly mattered,\nBut nick-nacks were shattered.\nI'm pissed that my bric-a-brac broke.", "id": 16744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Birds of passage are driven to range,\nFor no reason but seasonal change.\nThey are no stay-at-homers,\nBut rovers and roamers\nTo kingdoms both distant and strange.", "id": 16745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whenever a voice of authority\nClaims to speak for the silent majority,\nIs it merely a ruse\u2014\nAn attempted excuse\u2014\nFor ignoring a vocal minority?", "id": 16746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The readers I'll cheerfully thank\nAre the ones who can fill-in-the-blank:\n_________________  (Am I making it clear \n_________________  that your verses go here?)\nNever mind. 'Twas a concept that stank.", "id": 16747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My barbecue's turning out lame;\nI suspect that my butcher's to blame,\nSince he just might've told me\nThe bird that he sold me\u2014\nA phoenix\u2014would rise from the flame.", "id": 16748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your passenger voiced an objection\nThat your map, upon closer inspection,\nHad been held upside down,\nAnd beheld, with a frown,\nYour appellative tag, \"Miss Direction.\"", "id": 16749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He'd look at a book on a whim\nWith a bulb most exceedingly dim,\nSo we said, of the light,\nThat it wasn't too bright,\nBut he thought we were speaking of him.", "id": 16750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those rose-buds you bought for a gal,\nTo inform her she's more than a pal,\nWere received with a thud,\nSince you're merely her bud\u2014\nJust her Bud-drinking buddy from Cal.", "id": 16751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every library's crannies and nooks\nShelter racks where they stack all the books.\nWe can seek them ourselves\nSide-by-side on the shelves:\nCherished places a booklover looks.", "id": 16752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Should your favorite saint up and die,\nQuickly dig up a bone from her thigh.\nHoly relics for healing\nAre wholly appealing\u2014\nSo there's rarely a goodly supply.", "id": 16753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Raise your cup\u2014bimillennial cheer\u2014\nAs a mark of our two-thousandth year.\nCan our planet survive\nHaving humans alive\nTill our next bimillennium here?", "id": 16754, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Had my buildings been built on a stilt\nFar above the alluvial silt\nOn those plots that I've gotten,\nThey'd stop going rotten,\nLike most other buildings I've built.", "id": 16755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A broad bred so brutish a brood\nThat when faring abroad, seeking food,\nThey'll beleaguer a village,\nMarauding for pillage,\nWhenever her brood's in the mood.", "id": 16756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Hear the drummers and pipers in bands,\nWho transmit the commander's commands,\nWhile the buglers amass,\nBlaring orders with class\u2014\nBrassy patterns each troop understands.", "id": 16757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whenever it rains like the dickens,\nBrontosaurus's pulse always quickens.\nBrontophobic, she fears\nAny thunder she hears.\nAre these dinosaurs just giant chickens?", "id": 16758, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A scraggly old bird near demise\nMade a nest in your home, and\u2014surprise!\u2014\nBurned your house to the ground.\nYou've belatedly found\nWhat a phoenix requires to arise.", "id": 16759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "She stitches the lace on her doily\nAnd flashes her lashes so coyly.\nThough I like her a lot,\nPhysiognomy's not\nHer best feature\u2014her face is all boily.", "id": 16760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Since Barbie and Ken started dating,\nShe'd always been patiently waiting\nFor kids.  But her boyfriend\nWas only a toy friend:\nTogether, they'd never be mating.", "id": 16761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Got a press in the basement below,\nWith engraving plates ready to go.\nWe'll be printing some green,\nMore than Bill Gates has seen\u2014\nWe'll have oodles of boodle to blow!", "id": 16762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The Philistine foe had been deft;\nThey had taken the ark. But the theft\nBrought their god, Dagon, down:\nBroken hands, broken crown\u2014\nHe had only the stump of him left.", "id": 16763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Some are sure that events follow laws\u2014\nThat effect follows cause without pause.\nThey require forbearance;\nIt's clear they're not parents:\nThey cannot believe just because.", "id": 16764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "You can whip up this biscuit in haste.\nWhen it's home-made, it's lovely to taste.\nSince its batter is beaten,\nIt's airy when eaten,\nAnd might add less line to your waist.", "id": 16765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An auxiliary force is a corps\nThat assists when a nation's at war.\nThough these foreigners make\nSavvy soldiers, they take\nA few months to establish rapport.", "id": 16766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was a model called Twiggy,\nAnd later a Muppet, Miss Piggy.\nIggy Pop had some fame,\nAnd I noticed acclaim\n(Rather small) for a rapper, no biggie.", "id": 16767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Treating symptoms, not causes, to some,\nIs what medicine's sadly become.\nHaven't pooped for a while?\nChew on Ex-Lax\u2014and smile!\nThat's allopathy's style, and it's dumb.", "id": 16768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In his trailer, tucked in for the night,\nHe awakened in pulsating light.\nA large object was high\nIn the Arkansas sky\u2014\n\"UFO!\" Jim Bob cried with delight.", "id": 16769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "It's the same-old same-old, and it's pat.\nIt's run-of-the-mill; it's old hat;\nIt's the old tried-and-true,\nAnd it's typical, too,\nPlain vanilla. It's basic B-flat.", "id": 16770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In Manhattan, a Cimex resurgence\nHas accompanied travel divergence.\nSo my darling, sleep tight.\nDo not let bedbugs bite\nYou tonight as they flaunt reemergence.", "id": 16771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By making my flattery buttery,\nThe hearts of the lasses get fluttery.\nThe smoother my patter,\nThe worse I could shatter\nThe moment by turning all spluttery.", "id": 16772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Those moments, when somebody knocks,\nYou don't know them, and memory mocks:\nOh, sure, we've all had 'em.\nDon't know them from Adam,\nOr\u2014more so\u2014from Adam's off ox.", "id": 16773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "TV Guide has the listings I use\nTo find programs that thrill and amuse;\nSo tonight I will scan it\nFor Animal Planet,\nA show often broadcasting gnus.", "id": 16774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At Harrod's, the talk of the town\nIs that trousers are causing a frown.\nWith their pants round their knees,\nThey're all feeling a breeze;\nLondon britches are all falling down.", "id": 16775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "True beauty lies with the beholder \u2014\nA duty an aesthete must shoulder.\nThough beauty draws nigh,\nMuch less often she'll lie\nWith an aesthete as he's growing older.", "id": 16776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My spirits are starting to sag;\nThis colostomy's really a drag.\nWhat's the worst of the blues?\nI love fashions and hues \u2014\nBut no shoes are a match to the bag.", "id": 16777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Using biotechnology means\nI've been cloned by some helpful machines.\nIt surprised me to see\nThat he's not just like me.\nI wear suits; he wears secondhand jeans.", "id": 16778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "A budgie's a 'good cockatoo',\nTiny bird in green, yellow, or blue.\nIt is pretty and neat,\nAnd it might make good meat,\nThough for stew, one or two'd be too few.", "id": 16779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "After gambling all night at the Bourse,\nI discovered I owned a small horse!\nSo I led it away \u2014\nIn the bathroom to stay;\nThat's the place for a bidet, of course.", "id": 16780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Biggest killers today: carcinoma,\nAnd heart attack through atheroma:\nFatty acids kill cells,\nAs my doctor now tells,\nLeading thus to their lethal symptoma.", "id": 16781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Bilateral symmetry's the plan\nFor designing a woman or man.\nThere's two eyes and two shins,\nTwo ears and two chins.\n(The last one's not how we began.)", "id": 16782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See Cupid's swift arrows bestow\nWondrous love; they set hearts all aglow.\nMay he reach in his quiver\nAnd surely deliver\nHis arrow from bow to your beau.", "id": 16783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See the feminists burning their bras\nIn support of their uplifting cause.\nI'm a pacifist sort;\nIt's for lack of support\nThat I offer my fervent applause.", "id": 16784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the navy's most elegant bash,\nI behaved in a manner most rash.\nIn the midst of a dance,\nTo my cheeky advance,\nShe said, \"Sir, you should polish your brash!\"", "id": 16785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "He must feed his most burning desire:\nSee flames leaping hungrily higher.\nA pyro is ghoulish,\nAnd though it seems fuelish,\nHe's bound to keep playing with fire.", "id": 16786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The wealthiest person from Perth\nBooked passage befitting his worth.\nBut his cabin was hideous \u2014\nA plot most insidious?\nNo, simply an accident of berth.", "id": 16787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Hades-bound for a character flaw?\nThere's no ferry? Now, that's the last straw!\nI'd sooner be sharin'\nA boat ride with Charon.\nDamned swimming? That Styx in my craw.", "id": 16788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Got some apricot jam in this pot;\nOn my bread, this sweet spread hits the spot.\nIt's the treat I would choose\nAfter taking a snooze;\nIt's the fruit that I use apr\u00e8s cot.", "id": 16789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "No prefix more useless than this,\nAttached to the front we find: dis.\nWere that syllable banned,\nThen our lives would be grand;\nWe'd be cordant and mayed, in our bliss.", "id": 16790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Archimedes, Sicilian by birth,\nMathematician and thinker of worth.\nEureka! So clever,\nWith fulcrum and lever,\nHe boasted, \"I'll move the whole Earth.\"", "id": 16791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though relieved they had said, \"She's not scary!\"\nJames met his blind date feeling wary.\nShe turned when she heard\nHis approach. His sight blurred...\nShe was cute as a fairy, blind .: :: :. : !", "id": 16792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "Here's a word that you'll find rather tough: it\nDoes not always rhyme with \"go stuff it.\"\nIf your food's on a tray,\nYou pronounce it buffet;\nIf you're battered about, that's a buffet.", "id": 16793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "It is said, when the stars are aligned,\nThat your horoscope may be defined.\nSo what I want to know\nIs, when good luck they show,\nWhy's it always bad luck that I find?", "id": 16794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "I tried to woo sweet little Maisy\nWith some buttercups, clover, a daisy \u2014\nMade into a chain \u2014\nBut the gift caused some pain,\nAs the blooms made her hay-fever crazy.", "id": 16795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bato", "limerick": "There's a bug in my BIOS, you see\u2014\nMy computer's not talking to me.\nAnd I can't talk to it,\nNot a byte nor a bit!\nCan you fix it for me, for a fee?", "id": 16796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "To impress her I juggled a plate,\nTwo bananas, three ducks, and a skate.\n\"Your baboonery's sick.\nGet me out of here quick!\"\nStill I begged her for just one more date.", "id": 16797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A buxom young dancer named Myrtle\nHad measurement problems to hurdle.\nBut this plump terpsichorean\nHad a secret Victorian:\nAn industrial-strength power girdle.", "id": 16798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "If you need a neat hole that is fit\nFor the dowel, avoiding a split,\nDo not use your awl\u2014\nThat would make it too small.\nUse a bitstock and sharp auger bit.", "id": 16799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I quite often enjoy a nude streak:\nWell, only perhaps once a week.\nBut the last time I tried\nShould have stayed warm inside,\nAs I'm summoned in front of the beak.", "id": 16800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "They are made up of pages, it looks,\nNot of butlers, young servants, or cooks,\nBut of paper, a matter\nFrom fibers, pressed flatter,\nWith letters imprinted: the books.", "id": 16801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's the white of an egg, this I knew,\nBut it seems it is endosperm too\n(Which surrounds growing seeds\nFor their nutritive needs)\u2014\nHave some albumen, protein all through.", "id": 16802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "With billingsgate, Cheney let loose\n(In No Uncertain Terms) his abuse.\nHe felt better, he stressed,\nHaving tried to suggest\nHow the senator might reproduce.", "id": 16803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Artemisia: a plant with a name\nThat attracts, like a moth to a flame;\nBut it's toxic, this root?\nAnd called wormwood, to boot?\nNow it just doesn't feel quite the same.", "id": 16804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There's a myth I would like to debunk:\nThat it's funny when people get drunk.\nWhen they bibulate (tipple)\nAnd drive, they can cripple\u2014\nNot just teeter and slur and kerplunk!", "id": 16805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The enemy troops are invading\nThe city. Resistance is fading.\nThey captured Town Hall\nAnd its multi-arched mall\u2014\nThat's the mall with the marble arcading.", "id": 16806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The weather is not really stellar\nFor picnics twixt gal and her feller;\nSo into the pail\nWith the cheese and the ale,\nPlease be sure that the two adumbrellar.", "id": 16807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's a word that is awfully plain:\nAn auxiliary verb, in the main.\nThe four-letter been\nIsn't be now, but then,\nParticipial in form.  How mundane!", "id": 16808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you prize the old Japanese mode,\nAnd you won't let its values erode,\nAnd rank honor above\nFaith in life or in love,\nFollow Bushido (samurai code).", "id": 16809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With the pancreas gland we are blessed;\nIts enzymes will help us digest.\nAmylopsin it makes,\nSo that we can eat cakes;\nIt disposes of starch on request.", "id": 16810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Apocrypha, biblical writing\nThat some scholars find quite inviting,\nAre of dubious truth\n(Unlike Numbers and Ruth)\nOr even uncouth, though exciting.", "id": 16811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I pray that you ladies excuse\nMy three sneezes, with forceful \"achoos.\"\nSo fast did they issue,\nI hadn't a tissue;\nI fear I have moistened your shoes.", "id": 16813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Allakaket's not easy to say;\nIt is cold, and it's far, far away.\nBut its small population\nIs part of our nation\u2014\nIt's found in north-central AK.", "id": 16814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Those suffering autopolyploidy\nMight think they're real hoity-toity,\nBut chromosome sets from\nOne species could net some\nA session with Doctor Sigg Freud-y.", "id": 16815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This aftershave's quite an expense\nAnd its odor is really intense,\nSo I'd like to be shown,\nIf I could, a cologne\nThat would work in both dollars and scents.", "id": 16816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "When bubbles abound, it's hypnotic:\nAll boiling and bouncing\u2014chaotic.\nThese spheres of gas fly\nBoth through liquid and sky\nIn patterns both droll and quixotic.", "id": 16817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "In Texas, where Billy Bob ranched,\nThe DRT ladies all blanched\nWhen they learned that his mother\nHad married her brother\u2014\nHis family tree hadn't branched!", "id": 16818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Dubbed \"bubblegummers\" \u2014 oh, how unfair!\nSome teenagers chew, I'm aware:\nThere are many whose jaws\nChamp all day without pause \u2014\nBut the rest of us aren't all that rare!", "id": 16819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My ex and I, after a fashion,\nContinue our amorous passion.\nTogether forever?\nToo hard an endeavor!\nBut passion is totally smashin'!", "id": 16820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "By the way, we'll be travelling my way:\nAn obscure and unfrequented by-way.\nOn a by-walk at dawn,\nFaraway and withdrawn,\nWe will by-pass the well-travelled highway.", "id": 16821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bold dynamite, after its fashion,\nLoves a blast of molecular passion\nAnd explosive emotions\nSet off by that potion's\nTumultuous flashin' and crashin'.", "id": 16822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Yes, a bull can be sated: he's fill-a-bull.\nWith the proper cow-tipping, he's spill-a-bull.\nAnd, of course, when he hires\nAttorneys (what liars!),\nHe's certain their hours are ...", "id": 16823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Brachylogy's briefness in speech.", "id": 16824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A barista who's overly whimful\nPoured your coffee cup up-to-the-rim full.\nSince your mug, overfilled,\nWas a cinch to be spilled,\nThere's a mess, and it's no longer brimful.", "id": 16825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The light we describe as intense\nGives off photons whose fluxion's immense,\nPutting zillions of quanta\nAs close as you wanta.\nIf you're brilliant, this makes perfect sense.", "id": 16826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Are you bound for a barrow to rot?\nBetter mention it now if you're not.\nWe had sort of inferred\nYou'd be shortly interred\nIn your outstanding burial plot.", "id": 16827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The cow that I'm planning to brand\nWon't lie down in the sand on command.\nFearing burns in her side\nMakes the cow want to hide.\nCould more hands from the ranch lend a hand?", "id": 16828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you're teaching the crawl to your Persian,\nBut your cat is resisting immersion,\nI can show you a trick\nWith a bag and a brick,\nOvercoming her natural aversion.", "id": 16829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Those who hear boogie-woogie may muse:\n\"Is this jazz or a quick-tempo blues?\"\nPlaying bass modulations,\nHot improv creations,\nCool pianists prefer not to choose!", "id": 16830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will Lily and Millie and Tillie\nAll see it as daring and silly,\nAlbeit too chilly,\nTo strip off their frilly\nWhite undies and streak across Philly?", "id": 16831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Angelenos awaken each day,\nBreathing air either brownish or gray,\n'Til they wave \"See ya later!\"\nTo the new governator\nAnd high-tail it out of L.A.", "id": 16832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My optics became amblyopic\nAnd stopped being stereoscopic.\nSince precision's an issue\nIn visual tissue,\nIncision's the typical topic.", "id": 16833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A spot on our lot is alight:\nIt's alit, but a trifle too bright.\nIt's been burning for days,\nFirst aflame, then ablaze.\nFrom afar you can see it at night.", "id": 16834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though I think that I'm growing obsessed\nWith the tenderest part of your breast,\nI've decided to try\nEither wings or a thigh,\nTo determine which parts I like best.", "id": 16835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What's a bluebeard of happiness got?\nMany wives that he's happily shot.\nThough you thought him a songbird,\nTurns out, he's the wrong bird:\nA bluebird of happiness, not.", "id": 16836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The audience, audibly awed,\nSaw the sword that we forged for that broad:\nAs a broadsword, it's wide,\nWith an edge on each side.\nWhen she sings, they had better applaud.", "id": 16837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The prince had ascended her keep,\nWhere he found Brier-Rose fast asleep.\nThough the kiss was pure magic,\nThe outcome was tragic:\nHis Highness zonked out in a heap.", "id": 16838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My boyfriend, a loser named Zeus,\nChooses fashions acutely obtuse:\nAll his suits are too loose,\nAnd I see no excuse\nFor his ascots in pukiest puce.", "id": 16839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As I hold up the globe, I'm cravat-less;\nThough I dress to impress, I go hatless.\nLost my cap, I regret,\nAs my head's getting wet,\nSans chapeau, I'm emphatically Atlas.", "id": 16840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He thinks that he'll study bryology,\nA moss-centered branch of biology:\nBut by rolling some grass,\nHe gets stoned before class,\nSo he gathers no moss terminology.", "id": 16841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Fossil-hunters were fooled and misled\nWhen a brontosaur, thoroughly dead\nAnd interred in the ground,\nSo remarkably found\nA maneuver for losing his head.", "id": 16842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Long ago, when I visited Florence,\nThe rain fell in buckets and torrents\u2014\nA flood so complete\nIt submerged every street,\nAs we watched in dismay and abhorrence.", "id": 16843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a venomous Aname spider\nBit Miss Muffet, the tuffet abider,\nShe distressingly died\nFrom the toxins inside\nOf the spider that sat down beside her.", "id": 16844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Does the species called bovine allow\nAny member to beat on the brow\nOf another poor steer?\nWhat I'm getting at here\nIs this oddity: bully means cow.", "id": 16845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My husband's a bounderish cad\nWhose behavior is driving me mad.\nHe's indelicate, brash,\nAnd more recklessly rash\nThan the nine other husbands I've had.", "id": 16846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "An Olympian jumper from Brest\nTook a fall in his gold medal quest.\nPiling up in the snow,\nBut not wanting to crow,\nSaid, \"I did what was my level best!\"", "id": 16847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A bubble in liquid will rise\nOnce it reaches a critical size.\nThat's a process repeated\nOn walls aptly heated,\nIf nucleate boiling applies.", "id": 16848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The braiding that graces your hair\nMakes curious folk stop and stare,\nSince you chose not your head\nBut your nose hair, instead,\nAs the place for your hair-weaving flair!", "id": 16849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Chilean physicians of old-oh\nUsed leaves that the Indians sold-oh.\nAll ills were allayed\nBy a tincture they made\nFrom an evergreen tree called the boldo.", "id": 16850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cigarette leaf that I'm foldin'\nWas smoked by Chileans of olden.\nIt's hypnotic! I'm fried\nBy the kicker inside:\nGlucosidal, the alkaloid boldin.", "id": 16851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Steve went to Bowdoin he dressed\nIn a jacket.  Embossed on its breast\nWas a B\u2014not for sport,\nBut his passion to sort\nAll the flora.  He botanized best.", "id": 16852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ruth was seeking a photo, forsooth,\nSo we crowded ourselves in a booth.\nSince the aim was unsteady,\nAnd Ruth wasn't ready,\nHer comments got somewhat uncouth.", "id": 16853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Alsatians speak French and Alsatian.\nThey're proud to belong to the nation\nCalled la Grande or the brave,\nWhich to Yankees once gave\nHuge Miss Liberty\u2014great dedication!", "id": 16854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "He fancied himself quite the bard;\nLike a peacock, he'd strut through the yard.\nSo absurdly he'd act\nThat we thought he had cracked.\nHis life's been a farce, and he's starred.", "id": 16855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Archeological digging's so grand.\nYou unearth ancient objects from sand.\nFind a trinket that's small\nOr a pyramid's wall\u2014\nVanished cultures are now close at hand.", "id": 16856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "On the highway with nary a soul,\nWipers slappin' some ol' rock n' roll,\nMy tires start slipping;\nThey're no longer gripping,\nBut aquaplaning out of control.", "id": 16857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "A whale from the cold Beaufort Sea,\nThe beluga, he roams wild and free.\nHis diminutive size\nOnce made him a prize\u2014\nHe's protected by ACS plea.", "id": 16858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a message is moving along\nChains of neurons that hum like a song,\nAntidromic means (at\nAll the synapses) that\nThe direction it's going is wrong.", "id": 16859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, the Greek athlete from Crete,\nDid his personal best at a meet.\n(Dated twenty-one girls:\nAll with bangs, some with curls.)\nHe broad jumped, but did not compete.", "id": 16860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I broke in just to steal Jenny's guns.\nHubby Bob threw me out on my buns.\nWhen you burglarize houses,\nWatch out for the spouses:\nPerhaps I'll start stealing from nuns.", "id": 16861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Buying back issues really felt sweet:\nNow your Playboy collection's complete.\nWith six-hundred or so\nSince the first with Monroe,\nFinding room for them all is a feat.", "id": 16862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "George Poulton composed \"Aura Lee,\"\nWith words by Bill Fosdick. But me,\n\"Love me tender,\" I croon\nWhen I sing that old tune,\nBecause florid just isn't my key.", "id": 16863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "I wish you would give me a nickel\nFor each time that I've said I'm not fickle.\nMy heart never stirs\nWithout beating, \"I'm yours.\"\nBut yours is so terribly brickle.", "id": 16864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though I can't tell a dong from a ding,\nLet my cross be the passion to sing.\nI need to croon merry,\nMy life-bowl's a cherry;\nBa-da-boom, ba-da-ba, ba-da-bing!", "id": 16865, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "At the shop, we've a Humor Administrator:\n\"A smile may be good but a grin is greater.\"\nHe's in charge so he'll say,\n\"In both senses I'm gay,\nBut Rudolfo Enrique, my twin, is straighter.\"", "id": 16866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Our bosses, in whom we had trusted,\nHad screwed us!  Our pensions were busted!\nThen they canned us and they\nHad the chutzpah to say,\n\"Stop acting all-fired disgusted!\"", "id": 16867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My report on Saint Thomas Aquinas\nWasn't quite good enough for Her Highness!\nMiss Trent said my writing\nWas less than exciting,\nAnd gave me a stinkin' A- !", "id": 16868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This odd word, bibliolater, looks\nLike a person who can't get his hooks\nOn enough things to read,\nBut I ask you, indeed,\nCan a reader have too many books?", "id": 16869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Ng svefg, jung V fnl vf pbaprnyrq:\nGuvf pelcgbtenz npgf nf n fuvryq.\nOhg fvapr lbh unir oebxra\nGur pbqr, nf n gbxra,\nGuvf yvzrevpx unf abj orra erirnyrq.", "id": 16870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"All units respond, if you're able,\nTo a 5150 on Streible.\"\nThis number's a code\nUsed by cops on the road\nFor a person who's seen as unstable.", "id": 16871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When I called her a bitch, I would render\nThe opinion I did not offend her.\nShe is fourteen years old\nAnd she does as she's told.\nShe's a wolfhound and female's her gender.", "id": 16872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Alethiology,\" claimed my Aunt Ruth,\n\"Was my passion when I was a youth.\nIt's the science involved\nWith how problems are solved\nAnd how evidence leads to the truth.\"", "id": 16873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If a \"heart-healthy\" meal is your wish,\nTry our Albany beef\u2014it's delish!\nSo you won't be surprised\nWhen it comes, be advised\nYou'll be dining this evening on fish.", "id": 16874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Abate Fetel is a pear,\nSoft and sweet with nutrition to spare.\nIt's of old French descent\nTo the likely extent\nThat it first came from monks over there.", "id": 16875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Friendly fire\" killed forty today,\nBut that's simply the price that we pay\nFor our bellicose spirit.\nThough it galls me to hear it,\n\"Acceptable losses,\" they say.", "id": 16876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Those are boss!\" we would say of guitars\nIn the sixties, the term wholly ours.\nSince then I have mused\nU.S. Grant might have used\nThis same word to describe his cigars!", "id": 16877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're unfaithful.  She knows you're a liar\nWhen you swear that she's all you desire.\nDon't let her discover\nHer sister's your lover.\nThat'll only add fuel to the fire.", "id": 16879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If on jazz-and-rock-fusion you dote,\nThere's a '70s band you should note.\nThey're called Blood, Sweat and Tears,\nAnd their name, it appears,\nIs the reason we flub Churchill's quote.", "id": 16880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The waitress at Rosie's Cafe\nCalls, \"Two burgers, to go, all the way!\"\nWhile wondering whether\nThey'll mate well together,\nI smile to myself as I pay.", "id": 16881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The memo declared that all clerks\nWould be losing their medical perks.\nThis BOGSAT decision\nLacked wisdom and vision.\nIt's clear all our bosses are jerks!", "id": 16882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An American diet is key with me.\nWhen cooking you can't be too free with me.\nNo Thai or Chinese\nAnd no Mexican, please.\nAll these foods simply do not agree with me.", "id": 16883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A psychic was jailed on a charge\nOf attempting to blow up a barge.\nLess than five feet in height,\nHe escaped in the night.\nScreamed the headlines: \"Small Medium at Large!\"", "id": 16884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As a butcher, I've got what it takes.\nDisassemble a cow?  In two shakes!\nYou just lead in that cow\nAnd I'll turn it, I vow,\nInto burgers and briskets and steaks.", "id": 16885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"This party is certain to fail.\nThe chips and the pretzels are stale.\nThe music is lame,\nAnd the people?  The same!\"\n\"I'm in total agreement.  Let's bail.\"", "id": 16888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Every year, while preparing shrimp bisque,\nTwenty chefs will be killed by a whisk.\nDo we ban shellfish soup?\nNo, we say, as a group,\nThis is just an acceptable risk.", "id": 16889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was albacore tuna, I'd say,\nThat has made me what I am today.\nBack at school, every lunch,\nIt's this \"brain food\" I'd munch.\nAll the others ate PB&J.", "id": 16890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!\nBang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!\nBang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! ...\"Dad!\nThis is driving me mad.\nBuy my son one more gun and you'll hang!\"", "id": 16891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you work for Ma Bell, there's a way\nTo mark calls incomplete, night or day.\nIf the line isn't free,\nIt's recorded BZ,\nAnd if nobody answers, NA.", "id": 16892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A professor was heard to opine:\n\"Armed and dangerous?  Dumb by design!\nIt's a term I'd suggest\nIs redundant at best.\nIs there anyone 'armed and benign'?\"", "id": 16893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Lloyd Bentsen expired today.\nAs a tribute, I'd just like to say\nThat I thought it was great\nWhen he set Dan Quayle straight:\n\"Kid,\" he told him, \"You're no JFK!\"", "id": 16894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The alphabet agencies (say,\nTVA, CCC, NRA)\nTo relief were devoted,\nAnd so were promoted\nBy FDR, back in the day.", "id": 16895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He's the kind of a nerd who will seek\nNew computer games week after week.\nDoesn't wash every day\u2014\nIs he sexy?  No way!\nHe's a barney, a loser, a geek!", "id": 16896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I judge food, and you know I'm a proper rater:\nI'm a BTO here (Big Time Operator).\nAt Burger King I\nAm a high-ranking guy\nOn account of my specialty: Whopper rater.", "id": 16897, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was prudishness both of them loathed,\nSo when Mimi and Mike were betrothed,\nThe announcements went out\nWith the following shout:\n\"Please come to our wedding\u2014unclothed!\"", "id": 16898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My bear claws are great!\" Jake confesses.\n\"They're one of my greatest successes.\nAs a breakfast-time treat,\nThis confection is sweet.\nWhat's one look like? I'll give you three guesses!\"", "id": 16899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For sameness, green peas take the prize,\nEach one equal in most people's eyes:\nEach one round, each one seen\nTo be duly pea green,\nEach and every one all of a size.", "id": 16900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Don't know why Sir George Back found it pleasing\nTo explore where the summers are freezing.\nWere I in his crew,\nI would be the guy who\nWould be bitching and wheezing and sneezing.", "id": 16901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The bog is a wetland\u2014don't spoil it!\nIts water's not pure\u2014you must boil it\nBefore you can drink it.\nIn England they think it\n(A bog) is a privy or toilet.", "id": 16902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Nurse, bag him!\" the doctor had said,\nAnd I thought, Is my grandfather dead?!\nBut the bag in this case\nWas placed over his face\nTo assist with his breathing instead.", "id": 16903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The madman had set out to scare us all\nWith his threat: he intended to tear us all\nInto bits Lilliputian,\nThen, mixed in solution,\nHe would spray us on walls via aerosol.", "id": 16904, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They're newborns, but some look like freaks\u2014\nTiny zits dot their foreheads and cheeks!\nAcne neonatorum\n(There's medicine for 'em)\nStrikes babies of less than two weeks.", "id": 16905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're a burglar, but quite soon Pittsburgh'll\nSubmerge.  There'll be no place to burgle.\nWhat will cause this mass gurgle?\nA melting iceberg'll!\nAnd if Denmark won't sink, Luxembourg'll.", "id": 16906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My friend is curvaceous and svelte,\nAnd her eyes make men stammer and melt.\nThough I'm skinny and angular\u2014\nStrictly rectangular\u2014\nI floor them, too...I'm black belt!", "id": 16907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Joseph's gift to his gal, it appears,\nIs so huge it's reduced him to tears.\nBut I wonder what Joe meant\nWhen he said, \"My bestowment\nWill cost me for 18 long years!\"", "id": 16908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you steal others' music, that sucks!\nPat Boone (clearly one of those schmucks)\nIn the '50s found fame\nSinging \"Ain't That a Shame,\"\nAs he wore (and made lots of) white bucks.", "id": 16909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ask no questions, I'll tell you no lies;\nBabe, I want to look good in your eyes.\nBaked potatoes I'll eat\nWhen you're with me, my sweet.\nWhen alone, though, I'm ordering fries.", "id": 16910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All-fired: a term you should study.\nIt's an adverb or adjective, buddy.\nIf your Uncle is Sam,\nIt's a way to say damn;\nIf you're British, it translates to bloody.", "id": 16911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "One sausage that's German, served hot,\nIs a bratwurst.  The short form is brat.\nBut I must warn you that\nIf you're some kind of brat,\nWill I grill you a brat?  I think not!", "id": 16912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Alligatoring happens to paint.\nYou may think that's okay, but it ain't.\nIf your semigloss fails\nWith reptilian scales,\nYou have excellent grounds for complaint.", "id": 16914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles and SusanL", "limerick": "On the corner some bum was espied\nBumming rides with his pack by his side.\nIf he sticks out his thumb\nAs he sits on his bum,\nCould he pull out a plum of a ride?", "id": 16915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "While I strive to develop my art\u2014\nUnderstanding that painting's a part\nOf the art critic's view\nOf each painting I do.\nThen who cares; art is good for the heart.", "id": 16916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you served vegetarian turkey,\nOur aliment quickly turned quirky.\nHow much time should it take\nFor your oven to bake\nSixteen pounds of a free-range tofurkey?", "id": 16945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Akaroa's a township that ranks\nHigh in interest, and mainly that's thanks\nTo the Frenchmen who founded\nIt there on the rounded\nPeninsula named after Banks.", "id": 16946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Autotoxins don't sound very good,\nBut there's very few reasons they would.\nWhen they're formed by a body,\nThey'll render it shoddy\u2014\nThey poison, but not what they should.", "id": 16947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alan meyer", "limerick": "In Kenya, most all the Masai know\nOne aspect about the white rhino:\nNotwithstanding its skin\nAnd the skin of its kin,\nThe white rhino is not an albino.", "id": 16948, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "REANNEX and ANTHRAX are two\nOf the Scrabble words players review\nFor a tray-clearing play\nWith an X and an A.\nBoth are bingos\u2014a bonus is due!", "id": 16949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Some mushrooms that really can feed us\nBelong to the genus Boletus.\nIt's a wonderful treat\nIf your actual bolete\nDoesn't come from the species that cheat us.", "id": 16950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When a door's not a door, it's bizarre\nThat this word means 'just open so far'.\nIf it's heavily slammed,\nThen it may well be jammed,\nBut it's never ajammed \u2014 it's ajar.", "id": 16951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "It wasn't apparent to me\nJust why antimony's symbol's Sb.\nThis helped me a little:\nReactively, it'll\nForm sulphides called stibnite, you see.", "id": 16952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I'm a chilled-out and indolent fellow,\nSo aftergrass makes me feel mellow.\nIt's the grass that is grown\nWhen the first lot's been mown\u2014\nAnd I watch it dry up and turn yellow!", "id": 16953, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Ma prayed that this charm bring us luck,\nAnd this mornin', at last, gold we struck.\nOh Lord, did we thank it\u2014\nWe're diggin' through banket.\nIt's time to start fillin' the truck!", "id": 16954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "There's the osprey, the honey, the moor;\nThen the town prefixed Leighton (obscure).\nButeo is the bird,\nAnd buzzard's the word.\nTypes of falcon \u2014 they're varied, for sure.", "id": 16955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Are you an anticipator\nWho knows every line I'll write later?\nIf my words you shout out,\nThen there's no one can doubt\nThat you're quite a prognosticator.", "id": 16956, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A promise 'tween lovers, soft spoken;\nA little glass trinket, a token;\nHer spirit; her heart;\nMy left leg, for a start;\nAll are things I've regrettably broken.", "id": 16957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Should a chatroom acquaintance inquire,\n\"What's your ASL, please, and attire?\"\nSay you're Swedish, eighteen,\nYou're a homecoming queen,\nAnd you're nude (and a terrible liar).", "id": 16958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Every bag drag will mean extra work\nAs I lug all my gear, like a jerk,\nThrough the airport. I must,\nSince I fear I can't trust\nMy belongings to some baggage clerk.", "id": 16959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "If I say that I battel my wife,\nYou'll assume I cause trouble and strife.\nBut it means \"to make fat\"\n(Also fertile) so that\n(Like good cattle) she'll bring forth new life.", "id": 16960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I've not seen my cousins, on Rottum,\nFor so long I've almost forgot 'em.\nThey are, I've now found,\nFundamentally sound,\nYes, in fact quite good fellows at bottom.", "id": 16961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Flunking Phonics?  Cheer up now, don't cry;\nGive architectonics a try.\nLeave letters and sounds;\nTurn to solider grounds:\nDesign buildings for others to buy.", "id": 16962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "The president often complains,\n\"Other nations are drains on our brains!\nIf a shrewd foreign neighbor\nLures all our skilled labor,\nSome dolt will be all that remains!\"", "id": 16963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A hippie named Happy Jerome\nFried the brain cells he had in his dome.\nThirty years' worth of pot\nMeans a genius he's not\u2014\nThere's a light on, but nobody's home.", "id": 16964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "\"I'm afraid I've bad news for you, ma'am.\nI've completed the brain death exam\nAnd concluded he's gone.\nThere's just no response on\nHis electroencephalogram.\"", "id": 16965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I had chest pains, a fever, sore throat.\nSo my mother explained, and I quote:\n\"There's bronchitis inflaming\nYour lungs, and I'm blaming\nYour playing outside with no coat.\"", "id": 16966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Since the blow gave your brain a contusion,\nI'm afraid you have suffered delusion.\nThere's a bruise in your head\nThat is swollen and red,\nAnd you're not Elmer Fudd, in conclusion.", "id": 16967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Use the letters called a, m and b\nTo abbreviate, as you can see\nIn amb(assador), or\nAs a prefix before\nYour own -ition, from -iguity free.", "id": 16968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "As a kid, I was wild and a clown.\nAs a teen, I would dash about town.\nNow adult, I shall go\nVery cautious and slow.\nGoes to prove: what grows up must calm down.", "id": 16969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An investor (not one of the gang)\nIs naive and goes down with a bang;\nHe plays hard and too fast,\nLeaves the brokers aghast:\nBarefoot pilgrim in stock-market slang.", "id": 16970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's a word that's so clunky, I find\nWhen I'm speaking, it won't come to mind;\nIt is sesquipedalian,\nAnd to use it seems alien:\nAnthropophuism (traits of mankind).", "id": 16971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She delights in the \"man in the street\"\nAnd the working class women she'll meet.\nShe abhors upper classes:\nAs one of the masses,\nI'd say she is antielite.", "id": 16972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A hot-headed keeper named Coles\nIs as often in gaols as in goals.\nAutomatic reactions\nAre judged grave infractions\nWhen scorers get plugged full of holes.", "id": 16973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I asked him to please go away.\nHe swaggered and said he would stay.\nAt my second request,\nHe complied (acquiesced)\nWhile a cattle prod held him at bay.", "id": 16974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Dead Woman, Exceedingly Hairy,\nGives Birth to a Twelve-Pound Canary!\"\nThis paper pursues\nUnconventional news,\nBut believable?  I'd say not very.", "id": 16975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An ailurophobe has an aversion\nTo cats, be they tabby or Persian.\nIf offered a manx,\nHe will tell you, \"No thanks!\nI think felines are fit for submersion!\"", "id": 16976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "ironmike", "limerick": "A thing can have abditive might\nWhen it hides something else from the light.\nEncryption or stealth\nOr Swiss bank account wealth\nAre three good examples to cite.", "id": 16977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "When support from the voters decays,\nThen the Congress responds within days!\nTheir intent: not to act,\nJust to pose and distract \u2014\n\"Bread and circuses\" (Juvenal's phrase).", "id": 16978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bamboo steamers are made of bamboo;\nSeveral trays fit together, so you\nCan steam delicate treats\nOver water that heats.\nDon't you love to eat dim sum? I do!", "id": 16979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An animist looks at a pole\u2014\nSees a being that has its own soul.\nFor a Pole, we'd agree\n(With a capital P);\nFor a tadpole or flagpole, it's droll.", "id": 16980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "At the SmokEnders meeting she sits\n(A result of her bronchial fits),\nSince she's trying to break\nThe routine she can't shake:\nFirst she smokes... then she coughs... then she quits....", "id": 16981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Is Materials Science a topic\nWhere properties stay isorropic?\nIf in any dimension\nThere's change of intention,\nThen no! 'Cause that's aeolotropic.", "id": 16982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a feminist, sometimes I rail\nAgainst men who are hoping we fail\nTo achieve full equality;\nThey deride us with jollity,\nMaintaining we're just antimale.", "id": 16983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In democracies we get to choose,\nSo all bigotry we should refuse\nAimed at color of skin,\nOr religion, as in\nAnti-Semitism, hatred of Jews.", "id": 16984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"My poodle can talk. Here's the proof.\nOn a loom, there's a warp and a...?\"  \"Woof!\"\n\"My anthropoglot setter\nCan do even better.\nWhat covers our house is a...?\" \"Roof!\"", "id": 16985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To chemists, the radical butyl\n(From butane) is said to be utile.\nI've been seeking the scoop\nOn this carbon-based group,\nBut my quest for more poop has been futile.", "id": 16986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Blackboard jungles are dangerous schools\nWhere the students keep breaking the rules.\nThese are places so bad\nMany teachers go mad.\nThose who don't are the martyrs and fools.", "id": 16987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the Highlands, a hill of repute,\nVery level on top, has acute\nAnd precipitous sides.\nWhat a landmark of Clyde's\nIs this butte up in Bute. It's a beaut!", "id": 16988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the web having millions of blogs,\nIt's a swamp filled with diarists' logs.\nAs the blogosphere grows\n(Yeah, this metaphor blows),\nWill the bloggers outnumber the frogs?", "id": 16989, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mayra", "limerick": "\"I'm afraid I've some sort of psychosis.\"\n\"I suggest that you seek out hypnosis.\nI see you're quite shocked\nAnd your memories are locked.\nYou've got accident,\" Doc said, \"neurosis.\"", "id": 16990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The lass, after churning her butter,\nLeft with buttermilk, started to mutter,\n\"Though some people drink it,\nIt's sour and I think it\nIs best if it's dumped in the gutter!\"", "id": 16991, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He believed wearing armor was crass,\nLike that backplate of steel or of brass,\nBut he had to admit,\nIf he ever were hit,\nIt might save his exquisite cuirass.", "id": 16992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Post-war capital, Bonn by the Rhine,\nWas, for Adenauer, simply divine:\nNot too far from Cologne\nWhere he'd been so well known,\nAnd a good place to wine and to dine.", "id": 16993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A reactor that's nuking a beryl\nIs creating a medical peril:\nThough the gem's more attractive,\nIt's radioactive.\nCould your jewelry be making you sterile?", "id": 16994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If it's backward compatible, you\nAre less apt to immediately rue\nThat new upgrade you got:\nIt will work with a lot\nOf the stuff that your old version knew.", "id": 16995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though perhaps we're a shrinking minority,\nWe consider extreme apriority\nUnfit for consumption.\n(Deductive presumption,\nAssumption, appeal to authority.)", "id": 16996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In affirmative tone, Dr. Boyce\nAnnounced with a very loud voice,\n\"It's as plain as can be,\nWe were born to be free:\nIt's genetic \u2014 there's simply no choice.\"", "id": 16997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The mission had not been much fun;\nThere were problems for everyone\u2014\nBut the task's now complete,\nAnd we've heard from the fleet:\n\"Bravo Zulu, guys. Job's been well done.\"", "id": 16998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On boon-days, the cottager's bane\nWas to harvest the landowner's grain,\nAnd the sheep were all shorn\nBy the lowlier born\nThrough manorial legerdemain.", "id": 16999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the matter of cosmic designs,\nMany chemists defer to divines\nAnd philosopher sorts\nWhom they favor with snorts\u2014\nBut to make a world does take alkynes.", "id": 17000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "When a programmer uses a buffer\nThings get easier, rather than tougher.\nThis structure's deployed\nTo help coders avoid\nThose events that cause data to suffer.", "id": 17001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Now the difference between them and us\nIs so small there's not much to discuss.\nWhile it's \"Huh! U.S.A.!\",\nCanuck speech ends with \"Eh?\"\nSo I ask, \"What the hell's all the fuss?\"", "id": 17002, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Near some airports, you'll hear, without static,\nTheir ATIS, which means Automatic\nFor the Terminal (station,\nThat is) Information,\nA Service that's very emphatic.", "id": 17003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "A sports-minded student from Maine\nWas developing brawn over brain.\nAs his thinking-box shrunk\nHe became quite a hunk\u2014\n'Cause from steroids he couldn't refrain.", "id": 17004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When some chemicals taint a location\n(Poison fauna and lush vegetation),\nThen the levels may rise\nThrough the food chain. It cries,\n\"Biological amplification!\"", "id": 17005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Take a number's divisors \u2014 their sum\n('Cept the number itself, though) will come\nTo a total; repeat,\nOn that answer, this feat.\nGot the first one? They're amicable! (Dumb.)", "id": 17006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Here's the bride and the groom, and, oh yes,\nThere's the bridesmaid, in pastel-hued dress.\nShe's been here before,\nKnows the drill, knows the score.\nShe's the next to be wed, that's our guess.", "id": 17007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "A timid old man was depressed\nThe day his love's lover confessed.\nHubby flashed a dull knife\nWhile confronting his wife;\nHis rage was thus bluntly expressed.", "id": 17008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Surgeon general's warnings evoked\nNot a thing for the bullfrog who smoked.\n\"I'm a lily pad guy.\nIt's just people who die.\"\n(Now you knew this was coming.)  He croaked.", "id": 17009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Special soap in my tub, water's run,\nAnd I splashed in the bubbles 'til done.\nThen with internet stocks,\nLost my shirt (and my socks!).\nBoth were bubble baths (one was more fun).", "id": 17010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The old mendicant kindles the fire;\nFor his breakfast he needs the flames higher.\nThe food that he's makin'\n(Some eggs and some bacon)\nGoes from frying pan into the friar.", "id": 17011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "That brain-picker's picking my brain\nTo extract what I know for his gain,\nBut I'm brainless and don't\nHave a clue, and I won't\nEven hint what he gets is inane.", "id": 17012, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A brainish man won't use his brain,\nOr perhaps he's gone briefly insane,\nSince he thinks without blinking\nAnd acts without thinking.\nHe's losing much more than he'd gain.", "id": 17013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Aspiration in health care can mean\nInhaling...like maybe a bean.\nIt is also a ridding\nOf gas or\u2014no kidding\u2014\nRemoving your fat so you're lean!", "id": 17014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Assisting your lifelong pursuits\nAre the straps I've attached to your boots.\nThose are loops, it's been shown,\nYou must pull on your own\nTo enjoy, of your labor, the fruits.", "id": 17015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Using Botox will help you erase\nAll the wrinkles you have on your face.\nAh, but when you attend\nTo a wrinkled rear end\nThen your Botox with Buttox replace.", "id": 17016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "If the ducks in your pond make you ill,\nYou will doubtless need many a pill\nThat's prescribed by some quack\nAt ten dollars a crack,\nAnd then you'll have to (web)foot the bill.", "id": 17017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "There's no light, but don't get in a flap.\nWe may as well just take a nap.\n'Cause the bulb (bought by you)\nHas an Edison screw,\nAnd we needed a bayonet cap.", "id": 17018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Steve Andersen", "limerick": "If some of his speeches you'd scrutinized,\nYou'd have seen that they're all platitudinized.\nHe thought he was slick\nWhen he laid it on thick:\nMade me sick how that hick attitudinized.", "id": 17019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Want an augury, easy to swallow?\nAleuromancy\u2014go ask Apollo:\nBalls of flour, words inside.\nMix 'em up, then divide.\n(Later on, fortune cookies would follow.)", "id": 17020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When our income was cut, it felt frightening.\nWe slowed spending; financial belt-tightening\nPut wants in a cinch.\nEvery penny we'd pinch\nHelped us clinch, \u00e0 la Roosevelt, \"lightening\".", "id": 17021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A brooklet's a small sort of brook\nWhere the water flows. \"Come, take a look.\"\n\"But how small can it be?\"\n\"I can jump it, you see!\"\nBut he slipped with the last step he took.", "id": 17022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With words that were written transcendedly:\n\"My candle burns quite ambi-endedly,\"\nSaid Edna St. Vincent\nMillay.  Fitting, since it\nGave off luminescence so splendidly!", "id": 17023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What's that sound?!  An aeolian moan...\nLike a wind-filled, deep, ominous groan.\nThough it's drafty, I sweat\nBut that's just what I get\nTouring castles, at night, all alone.", "id": 17025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Most animate nouns you can touch\nAnd they'll feel you, like cattle and such,\nOr gazelles or musicians\nOr pediatricians,\nBut pebbles or bricks?  Not so much.", "id": 17026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Archaically, \"make love\" means much,\nBut more in the words than the touch.\nThis sense (the \"G-Rated\")\nIs now quite outdated,\nJust heard in old movies and such.", "id": 17027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I went fishing, but soon felt deflated \u2014\nNot a bite, though I'd patiently waited.\nTo avoid getting thinner,\nI ate worms for my dinner,\nAnd sat there, forlorn, with breath baited.", "id": 17028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Pretty Bali's an island with flair \u2014\nIndonesian, and none can compare.\nIndisputable fact:\nAll the night clubs are packed.\nBali dancing is popular there.", "id": 17029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I've a tree in my yard in a plight;\nAll its leaves are diseased \u2014 it's a sight.\nAnd the skin of that tree\nPeels to such a degree\nThat its bark is much worse than its blight.", "id": 17030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We were lifted aloft with a lurch\nBy the lift at the left of the church.\nLest we're left with no view,\nWe have purchased a pew,\nAfter searching the church for a perch.", "id": 17031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "For Shirley, who's surely, for sure,\nQuite the spendthrift, resigned to be poor,\nIt's too early to save;\nShe'll behave in her grave,\nWhen she surely won't spend anymore.", "id": 17032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A toad seeking somewhere to sit\nFound a toadstool that seemed a good fit.\nBut such furniture's shoddy:\nThe large fruiting body\n(Basidiocarp) quickly split.", "id": 17033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Took a partner, a mule name of Sal,\nFor the old Aliment'ry Canal,\n'Til I noticed her barge\nWas excessively large\nTo traverse through its nether locale.", "id": 17034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That budgie I bought on a budget\nFalls over each time that I nudge it.\nIt heard when you said,\n\"Lor', this birdie is dead!\"\nAnd it wishes you wouldn't misjudge it.", "id": 17035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "So frizzy is Fritzi, y'know,\nThat she fixes her hair in a 'fro,\nWhich she ties with a band,\nSo it doesn't expand,\nAnd it flows where she wants it to go.", "id": 17036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On a farm, there's a swarm that we're seeing.\nIs their life free of strife really freeing?\nDo they work 9-to-5\nAt their jobs in the hive,\nJust fulfilling their destinies, being?", "id": 17037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I hope you don't mind that we're quitters,\nBut those crawly things give us the jitters.\nWe'd like studying life\nIf it weren't so rife\nWith those darned biologic-type critters!", "id": 17038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This old bloke eating pork out in York\nKept on poking himself with a fork.\nWhen we asked if it hurt,\nHe just asked for dessert,\nAnd requested we lend him a spork.", "id": 17039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Little boys (immature human males)\nAre composed of odd snippets and snails.\nAs I've heard that opined,\nNow I'm trying to find\nMore ingredients ... puppy dog tails!", "id": 17040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A head filled with nothing, they say,\nIs in danger of drifting astray.\nSee\u2014your braincase is full,\nSo that gravity's pull\nStops your cranium's sailing away.", "id": 17041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bolding of text we'll explore,\nIf you'd wondered just what it was for.\nThis type-font convention\nDraws extra attention:\nBolded text is too hard to ignore.", "id": 17042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Androgynous Ari enjoys\nThe disruption of comfort and poise\nWith a role that's unclear\u2014\n\"Is she straight?\"  \"Is he queer?\"\nWho can tell? Ari's one of the bois.", "id": 17043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a fertilized egg's maturation,\nEre a blastula starts gastrulation,\nIts developing poles\nGet dissimilar roles,\nIn a process that's called axiation.", "id": 17044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"A shillelagh!\" shrieked Sheila, who spoke\nAs she cuddled a cudgel of oak.\nBut one poke at some folk\nAs a joke, and it broke:\nWhat affliction one stroke can provoke!", "id": 17045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The wobbliest newly born calf\nIs not nearly so awkward, by half,\nAs that bottom-first landing\nWhen babies try standing.\nThat's usually good for a laugh.", "id": 17046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A subliminal advert (\"Sublime!\")\nHas appeared for a very short time.\nIt so subtly suggests\nI accede to requests\nTo buy popcorn that's dripping with slime.", "id": 17047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm incessantly missing my zither,\nGuessing whether to seek it, and whither.\nSo, while weathering withering\nBlither, I'm dithering,\nSlithering hither and thither.", "id": 17048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I am seeking the Way I should go\nBy consulting the augurs I know.\nThough attaining some clarity,\nThere remains some disparity\nBetween the I Ching and Tarot.", "id": 17049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "When a medal for bravery's earned,\nIt's for someone who danger has spurned.\nThere's a risk that they take\nFor humanity's sake\u2014\nSome are killed, others injured or burned.", "id": 17050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "You've decided to take off some weight,\nSo you skimped on your breakfast at eight;\nThen attenuate light,\nBut at noon lost the fight\nWhen you saw yourself eat and inflate.", "id": 17051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Walk from A down to Z now by Limerick\nOn old metrical feet. Take, with vim, a pick\nFrom the whole ABC.\nIt is fun, you'll agree,\nFrom the \"Almerick\" down to the \"Zimerick\".", "id": 17052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A professional organization\nIn America, world's leading nation:\nChiefly chemically based\nEngineers of good taste\nJoin up here to promote their vocation.", "id": 17053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Tomatoes and basil combine\nIn a sauce with a flavor divine.\nCould it cause a red scare?\nOn the verge of Red Square\nIt was sainted and given a shrine.", "id": 17054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Immunodeficiency's wired\n(In the syndrome that's known as acquired)\nTo dodge every cure,\nWhile its victims are sure\nThat they're sick of being damned, sick, and tired.", "id": 17055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A schoolboy, residing in Chatham,\nUsed \"atem\" for \"at them\" and spat 'em\nAt the teacher, who pleaded\n\"You well know what's needed:\nAn apostrophe splitting the at 'em.\"", "id": 17057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "If an accident happens, that's fine.\nIt means there's no blame to assign.\nSo when autos collide,\nWhy try to decide\nIf the accident's your fault or mine?", "id": 17058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Ambystomids find humid haunts,\nSalamanders' terrestrial wonts.\nBut some never grow up:\nOne, the \"mud\" larval \"pup,\"\nLives in lakes meant for love-making jaunts.", "id": 17059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If you wish to alleviate stress,\nResolve to sleep more and not less;\nBring disputes to an end;\nLearn to save and not spend;\nAnd go live somewhere else \u2014 not Loch Ness.", "id": 17060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "At Avignon, history frowned\nOn the bridge where they danced \"all in round\".\nThere they took their own Pope\nIn er-Rh\u00f4ne-eous hope\nThat his claim Roman rule would confound.", "id": 17061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The rifles we call \"B-A-R\"\nWere designed by John Browning; they are\nAutomatic, pneumatic,\nAnd rarely erratic.\nTo soldiers, they sure raised the bar.", "id": 17062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This bulletin's borderline bull,\nAnd you shouldn't believe it in full,\nSince the Six O'Clock News\nLikes to broadcast their views,\nBut pretend they're not pulling the wool.", "id": 17063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His clothes were atypically filled\nBy his overly muscular build,\nBut his sports-hero skill\nWas derived from a pill\u2014\nTaking steroids, he nearly was killed.", "id": 17064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Looking up to the heavens for aid\nStood a poet with writer's blockade.\nBut the Muse of old Greeks\nWouldn't kiss him for weeks:\nSuch a heartless Aonian maid!", "id": 17065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's so boar-ing to live as a pig\nSo I'm tapping and learning to jig.\nI'll wind up in New York\u2014\nNot as pork on a fork\u2014\nForty-second Street, making it big!", "id": 17066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "'Mongst the witches of Oz, no one cares\nWho is out having sordid affairs;\nBut poor Dorothy would flee\nFrom a m\u00e9nage-\u00e0-ree\nWith lions and tigers and bears!", "id": 17067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"More pasta al dente, Sir?\" \"Well,\nI suppose not, because, truth to tell,\"\nReplied the infante,\n\"I'd call it al Dante:\nSo chewy, it tasted like Hell.\"", "id": 17068, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Has Boxing Day finally come?\nAll that Christmas unrest leaves me numb,\nBut the next day is dear,\nWith its telly and beer\u2014\nI do little but sit on my bum.", "id": 17069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "Even bumpkins call fast friends a brick.\nAnd a bloke who's not quick we'd call thick.\nYour mate Richard's not well,\nAnd you say, \"Go to Hell!?\"\nYou're a hick with a sick, thick brick Dick.", "id": 17070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's a part that's unpaired\u2014anatomical\u2014\nProne to failure, but more economical:\nAzygos I mean,\nLike your liver or spleen.\n(For a human who's single, it's comical.)", "id": 17071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "The Aristocrats Joke is intended\nFor those who aren't quickly offended.\nDisgusting yet clever,\nI tell it (though never\nIn church; that is not recommended).", "id": 17072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "My ctenophore needs to be fed,\nBut I can't seem to find any head.\nI've saut\u00e9ed a few fish,\nBut no beak eats this dish;\nThe actinostome eats it instead.", "id": 17073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Of the mountains of Italy's spine,\nSays Pliny, \"The cheese is divine.\"\nCan the Imbrium coast\nMake this Apennine boast?\nOffered cheese from the Moon, I'd decline.", "id": 17074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "If a piece is burlesque, it makes fun\nOf theatricals overly done:\nLike the great Milton Berle\nAll dressed up as a girl\u2014\nFor berlesque, he was second to none.", "id": 17075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "You think radial symmetry's fun?\nWith a starfish, we've only begun.\nWhy not ask this big star\nWhat actinomeres are?\n(Hint: Its arm's an example of one.)", "id": 17076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "An angiogram isn't funny.\nIt'll cost you a whole lot of money.\nSo you'd better be smart:\nHigh cholesterol?  Start\nSaving up for that vein x-ray, honey!", "id": 17077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I am given to fits of hilarity,\nInterspersed with rare moments of clarity.\nWhen my mood isn't high,\nI would rather just die\u2014\nThis is caused by severe bipolarity.", "id": 17078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "You're looking a little bit funny\nAfter taking those horse steroids, honey.\nWith your copious bulk,\nThe Incredible Hulk\nWill be given a run for his money.", "id": 17079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "What brings pain we will tend to avoid;\nWhat feels good we approach, overjoyed.\nThe transition's complex\nBetween fear, then, and sex?\n\"No, it's f\u00fcnf,\" says the good Dr. Freud.", "id": 17080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since his appetite's gettin' disturbin',\nAnd he's cursin' and nursin' his bourbon\nWhen he's hangin' in bars,\nAnd he's buyin' fast cars,\nThis \"ascetic\" should turn in his turban.", "id": 17081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A breathtaking beauty named Beth\nHas a method for taking your breath.\nAs it's fatal to fail\nTo inspire and exhale,\nShe's employed by the Angel of Death.", "id": 17082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Aries the Ram has connected\nWith our nannies the ram has selected,\nThen your goats and my goats\nContribute their zygotes,\nBut \"kids\" would be most unexpected.", "id": 17083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "The synapsid anapsid (long dead)\t\t\nCrawled from water to land (I have read)\nWith two holes in its skull,\nLeaving mankind to mull\nOver similar holes in his head.  \t\t\t", "id": 17084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With my children I'm not very strict.\nOur values will seldom conflict,\nBut a drug of abuse\nIs a no-no.  Its use\n(Like amphetamine's) tends to addict.", "id": 17085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "While rickets can make your bones weak\nAnd pellagra discolor your cheek,\nAcute beriberi\nCan make you sick, very \u2014\nOf avitaminosis I speak.", "id": 17086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Oh, what can I ever compare\nWith auburn, so naturally rare?\nIt is brown with red highlights \u2014\nAccording to my lights,\nThe loveliest color for hair.", "id": 17087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Whether constant or just episodic,\nIf your bowel sounds aren't melodic,\nAnd you sometimes will howl\nFrom a cramp, and cry foul,\nWhat you need is an antispasmodic.", "id": 17088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Flow'ring plants we can see while we're bikin';\nWe observe them more closely when hikin'.\nBut what's harder to find\nIs the spore-bearing kind\u2014\n(Apothecial) fungus or lichen.", "id": 17089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An allogamous plant is the one\nThat will find reproduction most fun.\nTwo sep'rate plants germinate,\nOva-and-sperminate,\nJoin, and then new life's begun.", "id": 17090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a guy drinks too much with his friends,\nAnd the rules of good conduct he bends\u2014\nIf he acts the schlemiel,\nAnd breaks china\u2014then he'll\nMost ashamedly make his amends.", "id": 17091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my travels, I've come face to face\nWith varied religion and race,\nBut there's no other shrine\nThat I find more divine\nThan Amritsar, the Sikhs' holy place.", "id": 17092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Thinking marriage, with Amy beguiled,\nHe inquired if she carried his child.\nHe decided to fly\nAt her only reply:\nAmbiguously silent, she smiled.", "id": 17093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My uncle's estate is definable;\nMy fairness is never malignable.\nI distribute the checks\nAs the man's will directs\nAnd assign what is clearly assignable.", "id": 17094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Love of self is precisely the theme\nOf the French amour propre.  It would seem\nThe nuance it displays\nIs quite lost when the phrase,\nIn translation,  becomes self-esteem.", "id": 17095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Atomism's hard to believe!\nWith a very fine cleaver you cleave,\nTill you find in all articles\nUncleavable particles\u2014\nThat's the theory the atomists weave.", "id": 17096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Think of seasons; it's autumn I'd call\nBy far most depressing of all.\nLeaves go brown, as do crops,\nAnd the temperature drops.\nIt's no wonder we call it the fall.", "id": 17097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A proton was learning about\nAntiprotons and wondered, in doubt,\nJust what would ensue\nIf they mated, these two\u2014\nEach would cancel the other one out.", "id": 17098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "At a burglary, I would express:\n\"You've been burgled\", but in the US\nI've been sternly advised\nOne should say \"burglarized\".\nThat implies \"burglarizers\", I'd guess?", "id": 17099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the townspeople bade him \"Good Knight,\"\nAnd requested a quest and a fight,\nI'm appraised that this charmer\nWas braised in his armor\nWhen the dragon requested a light.", "id": 17100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I finished my last shopping chore with\nA sigh; I returned from the store with\nA bolt.  Now my stock\nIs secured by a lock\nAnd a pin that I fasten the door with.", "id": 17101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "In most modern buildings, the hall\nIs open, both spacious and tall.\nAs atriums (atria)\nThey're where you wait, rea-\nlizing they make you feel small.", "id": 17102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "We marched out of barracks at dawn,\nAnd we'd hardly time even to yawn\nOr to don a tin hat\nWhen they bombed the place flat\u2014\nIt's the officers' new croquet-lawn.", "id": 17103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Like two magnets precisely aligned,\nLook at dark-coloured clothing, you'll find\nIt attracts all the lint\nOf a light-coloured tint\u2014\nWith a hundred small hairs intertwined.", "id": 17104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A babiche is a kind of a thong\nMade of rawhide.  It's thin yet it's strong.\nYou won't find them in bed;\nThey're for snowshoes instead.\n(Yeah, I know what you thought\u2014you were wrong.)", "id": 17106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Bring home bacon, my wife said today,\nAnd with that sent me off on my way.\nCould I foul up this list,\nOr ... just what have I missed?\nNeither Roger nor Francis will say.", "id": 17107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Why does work-out enthusiast Belle\nSuffer bacne?  It's easy to tell.\nShe wears tight-fitting clothes\nAnd, as all the gym knows,\nShe's a steroid abuser as well.", "id": 17108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"I dare you,\" Athena once said,\n\"To win at the loom. Go ahead.\"\nArachne defied her\u2014\nAnd soon was a spider\nLeft hanging by one silken thread.", "id": 17109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "All too swiftly, her life flickered past:\nShe breathed barely at all, then her last.\nOne tide of the seasons\nLeft nothing. The reasons\nFor loss leave us helpless, aghast.", "id": 17110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The colon: a beautiful mark.\nNeatly balanced; no squiggles: how stark!\nIts message is: \"Hey!\nHere it comes: what I say\nFollows on: you're not left in the dark.\"", "id": 17111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In a limited missile exchange,\nYou'll notice behaviour that's strange:\nPoliticians will run\nOnce the firing's begun\u2014\nWhy, they're soon beyond visual range.", "id": 17112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "BYO? If you're stuck in that zone\nAnd you fancy a tipple, don't moan:\nJust go somewhere they'll flog\nYou a bottle of grog,\nAnd return. Got no plonk? Bring your own.", "id": 17113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Who's the best sorta bushranger? Well, 'e\nShould have a good story to tell: 'e\nShould start out a farmer,\nGo stealing in armour,\nThen stoush the police\u2014like Ned Kelly.", "id": 17114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Red heat, and the sweat and the smell\nIn the ring where the death-dances swell \u2014\nCan bloodshed be art?\nNo, not deep in the heart\nOf bullfighting's passionate hell.", "id": 17115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the fifties, across the whole nation\nA bohemian writing sensation\nKept poets inspired;\nToday we're just tired.\nEither way, it's a Beat Generation.", "id": 17116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "God bade Adam and Eve to a meetin';\nThus He spake, \"Thou have sinned.  Thou art cheatin'.\nOf my fruit thou partake\n(As so sayeth the snake).\nWhudjew t'ink? It's da Garden o' Eatin'?\"", "id": 17117, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Often, buoyance is punctured apace\nBy exams that leave barely a trace\nOf my lightness and cheer \u2014\nBut, hold on! Not this year!\nThe OEDILF keeps a smile on my face.", "id": 17118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "Apparitional visions appear\nLike ghosts in the air, very sheer.\nHaving seen one, however,\nImprints you forever;\nTheir apparentness then becomes clear.", "id": 17119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An item considered abatable\nCan reduce like a punctured inflatable,\nSo that excess of sound\nAt a football game ground\nIs abatable (though that's debatable!).", "id": 17120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "I expect, when considering art,\nA painting or play from the heart.\nBut some modern junk\nIs meaningless bunk;\nIt's not art \u2014 why, it's not even smart.", "id": 17121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "O bobble-head doll, you're so annuent!\nWe got take-out Chinese; in the van you went.\nAs I stepped on the clutch,\nYou were nodding so much\nThat you fell. In the moo goo gai pan you went.", "id": 17122, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I asked of a trail guide of Swissness,\n\"Why rescue the chumps of remissness?\"\n\"It really ain't purty \u2014\nIn fact's rather dirty \u2014\nIt's not fun, but it pays: it's abyss ness.\"", "id": 17123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An appreciator wrote to relate\nThat, \"Those guys at the zoo were just great!\nTheir comical skills\nBrought us action-packed thrills:\nThey're penguins \u2014 who cares they're not straight?\"", "id": 17124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If erosion's occurred in your tummy,\nAnd you want to eat food that is yummy,\nAntiulcer drugs may\nTake discomfort away;\nDon't just sit there and act like a dummy!", "id": 17125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bikini wax doesn't belong\nIn the world of a woman who's strong.\nSeems you're caving to men,\nAnd they've got you again\nBy the short hairs\u2014and wearing a thong.", "id": 17126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "In their habitat, haddock (marine),\nOr Atlantic red perch can be seen.\nThis bergylt's head is spiny.\nFish are mottled when tiny,\nBut when grown, rosefish glow with a sheen.", "id": 17128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A beauty who's covered in buboes\nAttracts unsurprisingly few beaus.\n\"It's the plague!\" they will cry,\n\"The Black Death!\"\u2014which is why\nShe should cover each bubo with new bows.", "id": 17129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Waifish models are quite a weird bunch.\nFor their breakfast, they ofttimes will munch\nOn a quark of stale cake,\nThen at noon take a break\nFor a huge bimolecular lunch.", "id": 17130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The trouble with things bureaucratic\nIs how one encounters a static\nResponse to requests:\nA reliable test's\nWhen the refund you're owed is dramatic.", "id": 17131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's '06, and the sixth day of June,\nSo surely the time's opportune\nFor the Beast to arise\nAnd rain fire from the skies\u2014\nEither his or our number's up soon.", "id": 17132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I've a mark on my hand and my head,\nAnd I now understand what John said:\nChoosing mottos, the trick's\nTo avoid \"666\"\u2014\nIt's a woeful tattoo when you're dead.", "id": 17133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The brown bavian (chacma) baboon\nWalks about in a primate platoon.\nIt does oodles of harm\nTo the crops on a farm\n(Whether corporate, or village commune).", "id": 17134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When the buffalo roam by your home\nAnd this grass is what grows in your loam,\nDon't discourage the herd:\nIt's the forage preferred\nBy all bison\u2014a nice 'un, is brome.", "id": 17135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"BT,\" the caller intones,\n\"Phone hoooome!\"\u2014and Elliott moans.\nBritish Telecom's bill\nNeeds an 'ell of a till\nWhen an alien uses their phones.", "id": 17137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "England's Bedlington terrier breed\nMight be just the right dog for your need:\nWedge-shaped skull, harelike feet,\nTasseled ears really neat,\nAnd surpassing its brethren in speed.", "id": 17138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you want to engage in an aini,\nStop sitting around on your heinie!\nYou'll labor for me;\nI'll repay you, you'll see.\n(That's unless you get kvetchy and whiny.)", "id": 17139, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "An editor chap (works for Time)\nOnce remarked, \"Aaah, your limericks rhyme.\nHow boringly quaint,\nSo much dreary restraint!\nOf their type, they're a dozen a dime.\"", "id": 17141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Schildkret", "limerick": "A blenderized diet's the worst:\nYou can eat what you want to, but first,\nGrind it up all the way\nTo a pasty puree.\n(Well, at least you won't suffer from thirst.)", "id": 17142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "A butterfly valve has its uses:\n(Effective in chokes, not in nooses)\nFor controlling the flow\nOf the stuff that should go\nThrough a carb, or a tube, or the sluices.", "id": 17143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Brown bagging at lunch to save money,\nSpiro Keats brought in locusts and honey;\nSaid, \"I totally dig\nMy new baptizing gig\u2014\nDon't ya think leather loincloths look funny?\"", "id": 17144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "A database guy named McClaskey\nSent a UTF file to Pulaski.\nP. replied, \"It's too long.\nCan you tell me what's wrong?\"\nM. replied, \"I dunno, but I'll ASCII.\"", "id": 17145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "With microBes this water's been dosed.\nLet it sit for a few days at most.\nMeasure O2 before,\nAnd then after once more.\nJust don't Drink it, 'cause then you'd be toast!", "id": 17146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In our offerings of blood, the Unknown\nSent an omen, not flesh and not bone.\nFrom a swift, cruel cut\nTo the ram's heaving gut\nFell a magical bezoar, a stone.", "id": 17147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "The knight all the maidens adored\nWasn't wealthy and couldn't afford\nHis acutiator's fee,\nSo he'd bluntly decree\nThat his pen was more sharp than his sword.", "id": 17148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "When something far off becomes near,\nTo focus, your eyes persevere.\nThey accommodate quickly\nAnd do so quite slickly;\nThis reflex makes everything clear.", "id": 17149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "When a criminal stole the cop's blotter,\nHe couldn't write down that he'd fought her.\nSo he sought out that crook\nTo recover his book\nAnd made notes when he finally caught her.", "id": 17150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Accidental this image might be,\nBut it's just what you happen to see\nIf you stare at your friends,\nThen the stimulus ends;\nAn impression remains: you and me.", "id": 17151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Live on land?  A hotel is just swell.\nDrive a car?  Does motel ring a bell?\nBoth are places to stay.\nHave affairs on the bay?\nWhy not dock at the No-Tell Boatel?", "id": 17152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "Human beings, at times, like to boast\nThe brain's cortex defines them the most.\nIt's important, that's true,\nBut between me and you,\nIf the brain stem is damaged, you're toast.", "id": 17153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Cuttlefish", "limerick": "Tiger coolly  strode onto the green,\nBall and cup, thirty feet in between.\nJust a flick of his putter\u2014\nThat's Woods' bread-and-butter\u2014\nA birdie for him, hole eighteen.", "id": 17154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "\"How much can you bench?\" asked the squirt\nAt the gym. The kid's arms filled his shirt.\nI could lift, said and done,\nJust an eighth of a ton.\n\"Four-fifty,\" I lied, and it hurt.", "id": 17155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "In my time, I've walked many a mile,\nAnd I've climbed over many a stile.\nThough I don't have a soul,\nI've two tongues. I am whole\nAs a pair. Hope my journey's worthwhile.", "id": 17156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Though these insects are certainly losers,\nThey're quite sober... not drunkards or users.\nThey're unable to drink\u2014\nIf they tried, they would sink,\nSo these chiggers could never be boozers.", "id": 17157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "I'm eating now (yesterday, ate),\nAnd often I've eaten of late.\nAte's the past tense of eat \u2014\nNow the meal is complete,\nThough the date with my plate added weight!", "id": 17158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Assanka's a very rare word\nOnly used by the brainiest nerd.\nIt's 10 to a power\nSo big it can tower\nTo 63 zeros \u2014 absurd!", "id": 17159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "An APRN is a nurse\nWhose treatments we must reimburse.\nThey're as smart as you please\nIn preventing disease.\n(Though sometimes the docs are adverse!)", "id": 17160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "An aceticoceptor's a chain\nOf molecules on a campaign\nTo link with an acid,\nAcetic and placid;\nA radical thing to obtain!", "id": 17161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A substance that women create\nAllows babies to grow and add weight.\nNot too cold, not too warm,\nHelps immunity form,\nAnd its packaging always looks great!", "id": 17162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A medical student named Jones\nAt the word hypochondriac groans;\nSays his tutor, \"Desist!\nThat's just one in the list\nOf abdominal regions or zones.\"", "id": 17163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A bad choice: dull Ed Fudd's greatest hero\nIs Judge Kill-'em-all, law's modern Nero.\nOh, prepare quips, repelling\nSuch tyrants' upswelling:\n\"Vile, warped, xenophobic\u2014you're zero.\"", "id": 17164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "My threshold for boredom is low.\nIf a speech is long-winded or slow\nIt may spark a response\nThat not everyone wants,\nNamely, fill me with get-up-and-go.", "id": 17165, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "In olden days, he who would sing\nIn the tavern some trifling thing\nCould embellish his songs\nWith the bellows and tongs,\nOr the bumbass or bladder and string.", "id": 17166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "When I'm typing, for instance, these rhymes,\nI use bold and italic as mimes.\nThey are faces I pull;\nOh, my cases are full\nOf fresh slants to enliven dull Times.", "id": 17167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "When Beckett was over the hill\nHis wit made the odd stirrings still.\nHe held 'less is more'\nFor a truth, but his score\nNever changed\u2014Questions: one, Answers: nil.", "id": 17168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A chemist Down Under said \"Hi!\nHere's an eosin styne that'll stye:\nAcid red 91\u2014\nIt won't chynge, fyde, or run!\n87's another . . . good dye!\"", "id": 17169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Was Berkeley as mad as a hatter,\nHis thoughts insubstantial as chatter?\nOr was his vocation\nDivine inspiration,\nTo fashion his own Stabat Mater?", "id": 17170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "As we reach the extent of our age,\nShould we burn? Not go gentle, but rage?\nOr should we instead\nTake this chapter as read\nAnd turn over the welcoming page?", "id": 17171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I'm afraid it will take quite a while\nTo regain my benevolent smile.\nI am easily narked,\nAnd my conduct is marked\nBy dyspepsia, rancour, and bile.", "id": 17172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Seeds for tanning and dyeing, well known\nFor astringent-like properties shown,\nAre algarrobillas,\nOr algarovillas.\nOn leguminous trees they are grown.", "id": 17173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "I have needs\u2014I can't stand yet another\nOf these chaperoned dates where your mother\nSits and knits while we chat\nFirst of this, then of that;\nWhat I want is a bit of the other!", "id": 17174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Advising's a wonderful way\nTo get you to do what I say.\nI suggest that you do\nJust what I want you to \u2014\nYou won't? \u2014 I'll keep yapping all day.", "id": 17175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The water supply had run brown,\nSo they hired a guy to drill down.\nBut his screw tool was plastic:\nThat bit of elastic\nWould not augur well for the town.", "id": 17176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the earliest Boolean days\nAll logic was built hardware-ways.\nThe math, now outmoded,\nWas BCD-coded,\nMost often when used with displays.", "id": 17177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"I'm an arrhenothigmophilous dame\nAnd I long to live up to that name,\"\nSaid pretty young Joan,\nYet she slept all alone\u2014\nHer abstruse choice of words was to blame.", "id": 17178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kengrey", "limerick": "My wife craves a new Belfast sink\nIn a colour akin to bright pink.\nOf course it must hold\nWater hot, water cold,\nOr Guinness, a very fine drink.", "id": 17179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kengrey", "limerick": "A bra is a vessel of sorts\nThat occupies men's waking thoughts\nOn whether it's just\nTo measure one's bust\nIn imperial gallons or quarts.", "id": 17180, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A blockish young fellow named Joe\n(Both in shape, and in sense, don't you know)\nWas known for competing\nWith others in eating\nHis meals\u2014which were square and to go.", "id": 17181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Rediscovered in pyramids dank,\nSome amulets\u2014ankhs\u2014seem so swank.\nThey betoken long life,\nA notion that's rife,\nBut one Tut couldn't take to the bank.", "id": 17182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "She could swear that she'd ne'er seen a balder man,\nSo Ol' Baldy's the nickname she called her man,\nBut he said, \"I'd collect\nYour respect, I expect,\nWere I ever elected an alderman!\"", "id": 17183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "Growing up in Atlanta was beach-free.\nNavigation could cause quite the screech spree.\nTo us, 'twas amusing;\nTo guests, quite confusing:\n\"It's not far\u2014just turn left down at Peachtree.\"", "id": 17184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "This kimono plant's flowers appear\nTo resemble gloxinias, dear.\nIt's a tropical herb\nAnd its flowers?  Superb.\nAn Achimenes; that much is clear!", "id": 17185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Why didn't you warn me, \"Beware,\nA traditional Londoner's fare\nIncludes blood sausage\"? Ick!\nMade with pork and blood\u2014sick!\nIs English food based on a dare?", "id": 17187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When your hair invites \"Where?\" more than \"There!\"\nYou will care about baldness, I swear!\nJust order a passport\nAnd feel like an ass, sport:\nNo hair colour's there to declare!", "id": 17188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Grant me tolerance, Lord, when my Ben\nHas a yearning to stray once again.\nGrant me patience at length,\nBut do not grant me strength,\nOr I'll beat him to death, Lord. Amen.", "id": 17189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Aspire to greatness! You may\nBecome famous or wealthy some day.\nBut just aspiration\nWithout perspiration?\nThat's daydreaming life all away.", "id": 17190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Quacked a duck, who once lived in a park,\n\"I'm so near-sighted when it's near dark.\nThat's at least my excuse;\nI had hoped for a goose,\nBut was doing it just for a lark.\"", "id": 17191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "There's an Indian folk named Arauken\nAnd that's also the language they're talkin'.\nThey're at home in the pampas,\nNo trees on their campus.\n(It's a mighty long walk from Weehawken!)", "id": 17192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "This ode has no libertine bent,\nNo passion, all sentiment spent.\nIt's rather ironic\nTo call it Byronic,\nUndoubtedly cynically meant.", "id": 17193, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For cushioning carpets, today's\nManufacturers favor the glaze\nOf some urethane, mocking\nThe olden-time bocking:\nA coarse woollen drugget or baize.", "id": 17194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The altar boy, Andy, is denser\nThan lead: since the incense dispenser\nIs known as a boat,\nHe tried making it float\nWith a rudder and sail in the censer.", "id": 17195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The printer, determined to risk it\nAnd nibble a bite from his biscuit,\nCreated a bite:\nHalf the paper was white\nWhen obscured by its frame, called the frisket.", "id": 17196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A body blow dealt in the ring\nIs a gut-punching, chest-beating swing.\nWhen it's dealt by your lover\n(Who's gay, you discover),\nYou'll never get over the sting.", "id": 17197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"This hospital desk should be cleaner!\"\n\"Could your gossipy tongues be much keener?\"\nHis assaults on the pride\nOf the nurses belied\nHis professional bedside demeanor.", "id": 17198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The camp's full of jolly good fellows;\nSaul downs a few beers, and he mellows.\nHe's a taciturn guy,\n'Til the red embers die.\n\"Now where's that damn blower?\" he bellows.", "id": 17199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "What a treat is a dress d\u00e9collet\u00e9\nOn display at a trendy soir\u00e9e;\nSuch bountiful billows\nRemind me of pillows\nWhich beckon me homeward to lay.", "id": 17200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Menelaus my husband\u2014a joy,\nBut young Paris? He's one sexy boy!\nI don't hold with divorce\nOr the scourge of remorse\nFor I'm bigamous Helen of Troy.", "id": 17202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My attach\u00e9 case took a hike\nRight when AFTRA decided to strike.\nThe picket line's gloomy\u2014\nJust signs, nothing roomy\nTo carry a script, Palm or mike.", "id": 17203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Ulfras", "limerick": "I inspect with great care every label\nPlaced on products I buy for my table.\nI think additives sure\nMake our food most impure,\nBut I might have bought into a fable.", "id": 17204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "She may be a silver-haired worker,\nBut at work she is never a shirker.\nAnd the A D E Act\nMakes her stronger, that's fact!\nAnd no bias is likely to irk her.", "id": 17205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My friend cooked a juicy ham slice\nWith some hot aromatic  brown rice.\nIt smelled so divine\nAs we started to dine\nThat I knew I would fill my plate twice!", "id": 17206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Amadeus, immortal young son\nOf Salzburg, enthralls with a run\nOf music sublime,\nTranscending his time,\nAs divine as a bloom greeting sun.", "id": 17207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To the newlyweds, sworn anti-cold,\nWearing layers of sweaters gets old\nWhen the temp's below zero;\nThe heater's their hero:\nJust leaving the bed proves them bold.", "id": 17208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "There are many old structures around\nMade from rock that was dug from the ground.\nHere in Kansas are forts\nMade from sandstone with quartz;\nThey are all arenilitic, and sound.", "id": 17209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "An emergency? Only one choice:\nNo IM'ing or pictures, just voice.\n9-1-1 would be nice\nPlaced from any device,\nSOS from a fridge or Rolls Royce?", "id": 17210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "If you'll spot me some money right now,\nI will purchase a bovine, and vow\nThat each month I'll respond\nWith a payment\u2014our bond\nIs secured by my big fat cash cow.", "id": 17211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba and Graham Lester", "limerick": "When Jehovah had something to say\nTo Mary, he sent down her way\nAngel-messenger Gabe,\nWho predicted a Babe\u2014\nBut no holy roll in the hay.", "id": 17212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Granny answered me, \"Dear, very few stockings\nThrill me at all. David, do stockings\nLook, when they're blue,\nLike a great-Granny hue?\nThey mean me when they talk, dear, of bluestockings!\"", "id": 17213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They were born, just like us, from a womb,\nAnd like us, they became bride and groom;\nBut the king and his queenie\nIn ancient Mycenae\nWound up in a beehive-style tomb.", "id": 17214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "When your arteries clog up with plaque,\nYou're at risk of a cardiac attack!\nAtherosclerosis\nIs the doc's diagnosis,\nAnd aspirin's your new bedtime snack.", "id": 17215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Spaghetti sauce, bubbling and hot,\nCommands me to come to the pot,\nWhere the scent of sweet basil\nSo tempts my sense nasal\nThat I think I will dine on the spot.", "id": 17216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A brickbat is hardly the same\nAs a club someone swings in a game,\nOr a mammal with wings.\nNo, it's none of those things.\nIt's a slur that one flings to defame.", "id": 17218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Twixt ocean and swale's warm embrace\nStand the sandhills, the dunes, sculptured grace.\nFacing winds and the tide\n(And some storms on the side)\u2014\nTufts of beach grass hold dunes in their place.", "id": 17219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "There are some precious metals like gold\nWith a glow that is fair to behold,\nBut copper, though base,\nIs a bellwether ace\nLeading housing straight out of the cold.", "id": 17220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Anarchic means out of control,\nWithout law, and where surely the whole\nOf a country's behaviour\nCries out for a saviour,\nThough few could adopt such a role.", "id": 17221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Please stop,\" she implored her abductor,\nAs the stern man stood there to obstruct her.\n\"What's this building so thin\nThat I've woken up in?\"\n\"It's a bus \u2014 and I'm just the conductor.\"", "id": 17222, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The crowd was supportive, I'd say,\nAt the plaza de toros that day.\nThe matador's fears\nWere addressed by their cheers\nAs they endlessly shouted, \"\u00a1Allay!\"", "id": 17223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Make a stab \u2014 is the back kept posterior\nIn position because it's inferior\nIn appeal to the front?\nOr for bearing the brunt\nOf the wounding from motives ulterior?", "id": 17224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Now, Gwendolen, go to the carriage!\nA dress of barege I disparage.\nAnd further, my child,\nPray forget Mr. Wilde\u2014\nAn unsuitable prospect for marriage!", "id": 17225, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Angel of Death came today.\nHers is beauty words cannot convey.\nHow can death be such bliss?\nWith a delicate kiss,\nParadoxically, life slipped away.", "id": 17229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Doc Freud liked to map self-deception;\nHerr Kant, in his time, apperception.\nHis view of the mind:\nIt relates what we find\nTo empirically based preconception.", "id": 17230, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "They cover your forehead with hair\nAnd prevent it from looking too bare.\nEach lock of them hangs\nStraight or wavy; they're bangs.\nCare instructions: shampoo, dry and wear.", "id": 17231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Six on one end and three on the other.\nNothing mates. Play a two, please, you mother.\nBut my foe plays a five,\nSo his game's still alive,\n'Cause the boneyard's my turn: pick another.", "id": 17232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Acaudate means tailless, poor me!\nFor I can't swish a fly or a flea;\nI'm a mangy Manx cat,\nAnd my shape's not 'all that'.\nWe're inbred\u2014mates cut off by the sea.", "id": 17233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "If you said bearded iris was male,\nOn the flower test surely you'd fail.\nThere are girls who despair\nHaving dark facial hair,\nBut their feminine side will prevail.", "id": 17234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I'm bicultural. Yes, it is true,\nMom's a Catholic and Dad is a Jew.\n These two cultures combine\n In one problem of mine:\nOy vey Mary! Such guilt I've been through!", "id": 17235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If you're wet, it's because of the rain.\nIf I wince, it's because of my pain.\n  And if anxious I act,\n  It's because of the fact\nThat I've just flushed your fish down the drain.", "id": 17237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "There are white bears in coastal B.C.\nWhere the rain forest nurtures each tree.\nAmid mountains and mist\nThese rare black bears exist,           \t\nWith extinction their threat, all agree.", "id": 17238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The antiapartheid decision\nWas enacted to heal the division\nOf the blacks from the whites,\nTo assure equal rights,\nAnd to end other nations' derision.", "id": 17239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If buildings, to you, are not pretty,\nAnd you hate to breathe air that is gritty,\nAnd like plain more than fancy,\nAnd crowds make you antsy,\nI fear you may be anticity.", "id": 17240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the meadows near Stoke upon Trent,\nThe descent of the goose called the brent\n(In America, brant\u2014\nIt's the smallest extant)\nIs an annual winter event.", "id": 17241, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "Biometric refers to statistics\nFrom noting the characteristics\nOf life on this planet,\nAnd Darwin asked, \"Can it\nMean laying off thousands of mystics?\"", "id": 17242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Asia Minor held folks Anatolian,\nWhose neighbors, in Greece, were Aeolian.\nThe former all grinned\nWhen the latter passed wind\nThat was heard by a distant Mongolian.", "id": 17244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They're adversaries, people opposed\nTo us! How their minds are so closed!\nSince they clearly annoy,\nLet's just tell them, \"Enjoy!\"\n(While ensuring they're royally hosed).", "id": 17245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the diners are donning their bibs\nAt the barbeque place, I have dibs\nOn the pork platter (yum!),\nBecause no one can come\nBetween me and my baby back ribs.", "id": 17246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though Anglican brings to your mind\nA church (the Episcopal kind)\nWhere an Englishman prays,\nBe aware it's a phrase\nFor how English itself is defined.", "id": 17247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"An ass\" was the phrase that defined me,\nAs women both spurned and declined me.\nNo longer the fool,\nI have purchased a mule.\nNow those asslessness days are behind me!", "id": 17248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Heavy metal is dark as can be;\nDisco's dorky\u2014frivolity-free.\nI find rhythm and blues\nToo depressing to choose,\nSo it's bubble-gum music for me!", "id": 17250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I go straight for a stall with a door\nIn a bathroom or loo at a store.\nIf you're seventy-nine\nWith a prostate like mine,\nStanding up means you pee on the floor.", "id": 17251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those Burma-Shave signs made me jolly\nWhile driving from Richmond to Raleigh.\nEvery message was fun,\nWith a joke or a pun,\nSuch as, \"Chili today, hot tamale.\"", "id": 17254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the buntline you pulled very hard,\nAnd you hauled up the sail to the yard;\nBut by cinching the rope\nRound one ankle, you dope,\nYou were hoist by your own fool petard.", "id": 17256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An auxiliary bishop is free\nTo assist with affairs of the see,\nBut he cannot succeed\n(Even when there's a need)\nAnd be boss, say the powers-that-be.", "id": 17257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On her job application, her stints\nAs a maid to the royals convince\nThe forensics recruiter\nEmployment will suit her:\nWho better to dust for the prints?", "id": 17258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bookbinder rightly conceives\nThat his job isn't done till he cleaves\nAll the folds on the edges\n(Called bolts); then he pledges\nThe readers can read all the leaves.", "id": 17259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A near-sighted copper named Pollard\nExtracted his handcuffs and hollered,\n\"I've captured the killer!\"\nThe parking lot pillar\nSaid nothing.  He'd collared a bollard.", "id": 17260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The teenager titters and teases\nWith skirts to her knees, as she eases\nHer feet into hose\nKnown as bobby socks\u2014those\nReach her ankles; in winter, she freezes!", "id": 17261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I adore, in a cloud-covered sky,\nA blue bore when it catches my eye.\nThis aperture's rays,\nWith a hue like a jay's,\nWill retreat when a haze passes by.", "id": 17262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"Those undercooked onions,\" he roared,\n\"Underscored how I truly deplored\nBoth my meal and my wine!\"\nThough his lodging was fine,\nHe abhorred, with a passion, his board.", "id": 17263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "We hear manhood proclaimed, it is true;\nBut a book has its dignity, too!\nKnown as bookhood, this status\nToday's on hiatus,\nApparent to only a few.", "id": 17264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My run for the gold lost its glitter;\nI'm done for\u2014a has-been, a quitter.\nThough beauty is truth,\nTruth is ruthless, forsooth:\nAnd it's hardest to swallow when bitter.", "id": 17265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Ahead, a hiatus! I'll stray,\nWith no reading retarding my day.\nNot booky, I'll learn\nPlaying hookey, and earn\nA degree in hard knocks on the way.", "id": 17266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Just under the calyx, a bract\nShoots its leafy appendage; this fact\nLeads my gardening uncle\nTo probe a peduncle\nTo see if its bracts are intact.", "id": 17267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The scold or the gossip will frown\nIf the branks are employed in our town.\nWe shall make her submit\nWith this bridle and bit\nMade of iron, encasing her crown.", "id": 17268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Revolting! A body is sliced\nInto pieces, divided and diced,\nThen it's served on a platter\nTo Christians! No matter\u2014\nYou see, it's the body of Christ.", "id": 17269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "After losing my cash playing poker,\nI entrusted my stocks to a joker.\nI shouldn't have spoke\nWhen I said I was broke\u2014\nNow I'm broker because of my broker.", "id": 17270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For a bridle and bit, people should\nBe aware: using leather is good.\nIf you utilize branks,\nDon't expect any thanks\nFrom your horse\u2014it's a muzzle of wood.", "id": 17271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bits and bats, bits and bobs, bits and pieces:\nThe trade of the ragman increases,\nHis bric-a-brac bag\nOverflowing with swag\nThat the careless consumer releases.", "id": 17272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "What's booming? Find snow on a mountain,\nThen dam it; it melts; you've a fountain.\nNew seams are revealed\nWhen the levee's unsealed:\nIt's a hundred-fold yield, and still countin'!", "id": 17273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My autogram has seven T's;\nFive A's; three U's, W's, V's,\nM's, F's, I's, Y's, and G's;\nTwenty S's; eight E's;\nFour H's, N's, O's, R's; two D's.", "id": 17275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Audiologists light-beam your ear.\nIf they say, \"It's a wonder you hear,\"\nOr the light passes through,\nThen there's no aid for you;\nSo you learn to read lips\u2014persevere.", "id": 17276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "There's adept and adapt and adopt.\nNow, let's see for which one I should opt.\nWe're adept\u2014 that is, \"apt\",\nAnd \"to fit\": that's adapt,\nThen adopt means \"accept\"\u2014where I've stopt.", "id": 17277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "If the cops show up, ringing your chime,\nAnd you're breakfasting there at the time,\nYou should not stash your gun\nWhere you poured Fiber One\n'Cause to bran-dish a weapon's a crime.", "id": 17278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and jexia", "limerick": "Genetic invention's the aim\nOf the biotechnology game.\nThey have copied my genes\nThrough molecular means\nAnd created my clone\u2014he's a dame!", "id": 17279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From Java the prisoners came\nTo Johannesburg, gaining acclaim\nFor their stew, rich in meat\nAnd tomatoes\u2014a treat\nThat's called bredi (an African name).", "id": 17280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Barbizon scholar who's smart\nKnows her French nineteenth-century art,\nBut she may not know all\nAbout Barbican Hall\nWhere the music encircles your heart.", "id": 17281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The tanning booth looked like a bin;\nI climbed in with a jubilant grin.\nThen I cried, \"Goodness gracious!\nI'm now alutaceous,\nWith wrinkles all over my skin!\"", "id": 17283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A batrachomyomachia;\nJust to say it, how long did it take ya?\nIt means an ado\nOver naught for which you\nWould request that your wife would awake ya.", "id": 17284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"This case needs some amplification,\"\nSaid the judge in a solemn oration,\nSo he made a provision\nTo postpone his decision.\nThe process is called ampliation.", "id": 17285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "This restaurant is known for its greenery\nAnd its view of the mountainous scenery.\nThe cuisine is superb,\nSays this magazine blurb.\n(Why the heck do they call it a beanery?)", "id": 17286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As a Catholic, I've started to wonder\nIf my marrying young was a blunder.\nIf I've goofed, I must weather\nWhat God's joined together\nAnd no one should dare put asunder.", "id": 17287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"Hey, Two-Eyes,\" the Cyclops will hoot,\n\"How's your fancy perception, you fruit?\"\nMy binocular vision\nJust draws his derision\u2014\nThat non-depth-perceiving galloot!", "id": 17288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My guru has left me in doubt:\nWhat is union with Brahma about?\nAre deep meditation\nAnd true liberation\nJust ecstasy\u2014being blissed-out?", "id": 17289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Both the French and the Swiss know a breeze\nFrom the north or northeast called the bise.\nIt's chilly and dry,\nBut they value it. Why?\nIt gets rid of the odor of cheese.", "id": 17290, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Old Man of the Mountain's precarious\nPosition seemed oddly hilarious.\nHis beetle-brows shaded\nHis face, but cascaded\nTo earth and, thank God, didn't bury us.", "id": 17291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My editor rudely bescribbles\nMy manuscripts, noting her quibbles.\nShe does her best thinking\n(She thinks) when she's drinking,\nTo judge by the smudges and dribbles.", "id": 17292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A wee, timorous beastie? No way!\nHe's a sinewy chap from Bombay.\nThis Indian laddie\nWould make a fine caddy:\nA bheestie totes water all day.", "id": 17293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Many brewmasters like to indulge,\nBut may also, in private, divulge\nThat they secretly tremble\nThey'll grow to resemble\nA barrel, whose bilge is a bulge.", "id": 17294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The bidet is a porcelain throne\nFairly few North Americans own\nWhere the user just sits,\nGives the chassis a spritz,\nAnd dries off the appropriate zone.", "id": 17295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Giambattista (\"The Printer\") Bodoni\nRemarked to a publisher crony,\n\"I make sure that a book\nHas a classical look.\nAll the words are just so much baloney.\"", "id": 17296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Blue light bandits may look like police,\nBut they want to keep more than the peace.\nWith a few simple props\nThey impersonate cops.\nTo Protect and to Serve? No, to fleece.", "id": 17297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In my shop, Botryoidal Balloons,\nWe inflate the things most afternoons.\nWhen they're clustered, the shapes\nAre like bunches of grapes.\n(In the morning, they look more like prunes.)", "id": 17298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Your hull may lose some of its polish\nIf you scrape past an iceberg that's smallish,\nBut a growler might flip\nYour unfortunate ship.\nAnd a bergy bit? More like demolish.", "id": 17299, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "One of Cowboy Cuisine's greatest tips:\nCook with bodewash, not charcoal, on trips.\nIf you want to sound posh,\nYou can say \"bois de vache,\"\nBut it's really just buffalo chips.", "id": 17300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Benedictines adhere to monastic\nRestrictions that some would call drastic.\nIn St. Benedict's Rule,\nIt's considered uncool\nIf your cincture is made of elastic.", "id": 17301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To the Southern cuisine devotee,\nIt's the legume of choice: black-eyed pea.\nThey're related to beans,\nServed with some sort of greens,\nMaybe cornbread, and sweetened iced tea.", "id": 17302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To the Scotsman, it means \"a wee bit,\"\nA small (but indefinite) whit.\nThat's what bittock means\u2014smut\nWith one letter changed, but\nIt's, at bottom, completely legit.", "id": 17303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "She's engaged to that bald-headed bloke.\nWhile he's telling his mates she's bespoke,\nAnd they cheer and applaud it,\nShe's planning an audit;\nShe'll not buy a pig in a poke.", "id": 17304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I have teeth, like the typical mammal\n(A marmoset, say, or a camel).\nAmelification\nDenotes the formation\nUpon them of dental enamel.", "id": 17305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Beneficiation's improvement of chips\u2014\nWhere more bark is removed, so what ships\nTo the paper mill earns\nA good grade as it turns\nInto pulp for our Post-Its and slips.", "id": 17306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An anatomy prof has a jones\nFor a vertebrate's skeletal zones.\nHe gets off on the arm,\nWhich provides him both charm\nAnd a humerus take on its bones.", "id": 17307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nevadaace", "limerick": "The starters are great, but they tire\nAs your team heads for straits that are dire.\nBut you've bench strength galore;\nThey can run up the score.\nWhen those fresh legs come in, they're afire.", "id": 17308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "There's a door that you cannot ignore \u2014\nThough it's locked, what's beyond to explore?\nIf you're eager to see,\nThen the bittings are key:\nThey're the bits that will open the door.", "id": 17309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The butterflies squirm in my guts:\nIt's crunch time \u2014 no ifs, ands, or buts.\nThe wriggling inside\nLeaves me longing to hide \u2014\nAnd this waiting! It's driving me nuts!", "id": 17310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When dealing with some situations\nIn all of their manifestations,\nAssessment comes first \u2014\nNote the best and the worst,\nTill you recognize all implications.", "id": 17311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Brave Achilles delivered defeat\nTo Hector, whom no one could beat.\nThen Paris, the archer,\nSealed Achilles' departure.\nNow he's known for his heel, not his feat.", "id": 17312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "On November eleven recall\nThe soldiers who fought for us all.\nBeyond price, what they gave,\nPrecious freedom to save:\nIt's the reason that we can stand tall.", "id": 17313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Tapioca makes wonderful custard\u2014\nTiny pearls appear creamily clustered\nLike grapes that, in bunches,\nMay garnish our lunches;\nThose botryose shapes cut the mustard!", "id": 17314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "It's the merchants that put Christmas trees on\nEach corner, and commerce the reason:\nDid the prophets foresee\nWhat the profits would be\nAt this much angel-heralded season?", "id": 17315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A byelaw's a localised quelling\nOf minor provincial rebelling\nAgainst rules and manners.\n(A bylaw might ban us\nFrom using alternative spelling!)", "id": 17316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "When that beau with impeccable taste,\nThe great Nash, took to watching his waist,\nHe abandoned his doting\nOn that coarse sugar coating.\nYes, his choice of Bath bun was misplaced.", "id": 17317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anoplura: a word that's not nice\u2014\nNo, it isn't a crime or a vice.\nIt's the name of a pest\nThat's an unwelcome guest:\nIt's a group that includes sucking lice.", "id": 17318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An antipathy is an aversion,\nFor example, toward anything Persian\u2014\nPersian lambs, Persian cats,\nOr a college course that's\nTeaching Farsi through language immersion.", "id": 17319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Kitchen gadgets just fill him with glee,\nLike a wedger for apples.  \"Come see!\"\nHe said, \"One blow suffices\nTo make apple slices.\"\n(I pity the apple-wedgee.)", "id": 17320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An atrophic appendage is shrunk.\nWhen it's lifted, it falls with a klunk.\nIts muscles, lambasted,\nAre scrawny and wasted\u2014\nI mean they are stunted, not drunk.", "id": 17321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Baha'i, though it's not scientific,\nTeaches unity; there it's specific.\nBali Hai will beguile\u2014\nIt's a fictional isle\nThat's known best from the show South Pacific.", "id": 17322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some people put trust in their tzadiks,\nAnd others in alphabiotics,\nAnd ask to be given\nA new way of livin';\nBoth approaches, to me, are exotics.", "id": 17323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many shops will respond to the call\nTo move out to the newly built mall.\nThey are drawn from afar\nBy this bright shining star:\nAnchor tenant\u2014the magnet for all.", "id": 17324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Here's a present to help with your wars.\nIt's for blowing up tanks, and it's yours!\nIt's an Armbrust\u2014great fun!\nIt's a recoilless gun\nThat can safely be fired indoors.", "id": 17325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Her trials, her romance, her strife \u2014\nHis friendships, his journeys, his wife;\nSome writers will traffic\nIn books biographic:\nNon-fiction detailing a life.", "id": 17326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Cut a snowflake in half, east to west;\nTop and bottom will match.  Now, you've guessed\nWhen you cut south to north,\nThere's a match of each fourth.\nSnow's biaxial, shown by this test.", "id": 17327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Beachfront hideaway!\" promised the line\nThat caught eyes in the way it caught mine.\nWe were duped, since the land\nWas three miles from the sand;\nBut next hurricane, things will be fine.", "id": 17328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An elderly pair, Ros and Sid,\nNever quite understood what they did.\nBy sixty, your gut\nSays you should be done, but\nThey're apparently having a kid.", "id": 17329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "We can all feel the temperature drops\nOn the train, as the doors count the stops.\nSince the blower stopped blowing\nMy blue veins are showing:\nI'm sitting here freezing my chops.", "id": 17330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When my life's work is done, I just wanna\nMove on to post-mortem nirvana.\nA razor's a mess;\nThe right mushroom's a guess,\nSo I think I'll ingest belladonna.", "id": 17331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A lumberjack harvesting wood\nWent and felled every tree that he could.\nHe was after the trunks,\nNot the branchwood\u2014that junk's\nWhat gets chipped or discarded for good.", "id": 17332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and SheilaB", "limerick": "My home on the range and its plows\nAre both powered by methane from cows.\nAnd these gases from steers\nFuel my car\u2014it appears,\nThat's as far as our science allows.", "id": 17333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With the company's focus applied\nTo increasing its markets worldwide,\nThe wash of benign\nNeglect caused decline\nFor \"small guys\" whose businesses died.", "id": 17334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My inbox is stuffed to the gills\nEach month with insufferable ills.\nHere's a plan I've divined:\nEvery mailbox I find\nGets a sign with this line: \"Post no bills.\"", "id": 17335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a 2WD that I own,\nSo the off-roaders leave me alone.\nBut I'm getting the feeling\nThat 4x4 squealing\nOf wheels is a wee overblown.", "id": 17336, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My heart aches since you walked out the door;\nI feel bad (country singers, keep score!).\nThen with frostbite, my thumb\nAnd eight fingers went numb;\nI feel badly (tactility's poor).", "id": 17337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Playing fetch with a stick, there's a knack,\nBut it's one that my dog seemed to lack!\nThen I found out the trick:\nI replaced his old stick\u2014\nNow my boomerang brings the dog back.", "id": 17338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some English words strike me as funny.\nIf a bakeshop sells rolls made with honey,\nAnd the baker's a rabbit,\nShould we be in the habit\nOf describing his baked goods as bunny?", "id": 17339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The explorer barged in most audaciously,\nAs some cannibals dined very graciously.\nThen he beat a retreat\nSo he wouldn't be meat\nFor a tribe who might eat him voraciously.", "id": 17340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In our marriage, it's true that we've seen times\nOf trouble\u2014decidedly lean times.\nWe've been poor, things were bad,\nBut we really have had\nSome exciting adventures betweentimes.", "id": 17341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bipolar disorder's no fun.\nWhen you're manic you stay on the run\nAnd you live without sleep.\nThen depression comes\u2014deep\nIn the doldrums\u2014a life without sun.", "id": 17342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A one-hundred-and-five-degree fever\nAnd chills made me tremble (or bever),\nBut regardless, I swam\nAnd constructed a dam\nOut of trees. I'm an overachiever.", "id": 17343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the Indian monarch Ashoka\nBecame Buddhist, he tried to evoke a\nRenewal of piety.\nGreat notoriety\nFollowed\u2014like Lee Iacocca.", "id": 17344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Allopurinol's helping me out\nWith the painful affliction of gout.\nWith some hearty amens, I'm\nReplacing the enzyme\nThis nasty disease is about.", "id": 17345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"First offense earns a slap on the wrist.\nAfter that, if you choose to persist,\nYou'll be dragged by your ears,\nAnd in front of your peers\nI'll berascal you,\" Headmaster hissed.", "id": 17346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Drawing big-name performers to town\nIs a difficult thing to nail down.\nBut there's cause to rejoice,\nSince we now have a choice\nOf Jim Nabors or Bozo the Clown!", "id": 17347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "What the Romans more tersely call pyx\nThe Greek Orthodox (up to their tricks!)\n\"Artophorion\" label;\nThey stretch, if they're able,\nTo syllable four, five, or six.", "id": 17348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "A. G. Bell had a second invention\nThat's now causing severe apprehension.\nHe cut sound onto disc\nWith no hint of the risk.\nAdults pray now for hearing retention.", "id": 17349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This pusher would deal all he could\nTo the littlest kids in the 'hood.\nThough by law it ain't right,\nHe was murdered one night.\n(I suppose it was all for the good....)", "id": 17350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A reservist named Kay, a real cutie,\nWas called up to serve active duty\nAt George Dubya's behest.\nShe now wears on her chest\nA Bronze Star and a scar that's a beauty.", "id": 17352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"What's that pasta in little round balls\nFound in soups from Seville to Sioux Falls?\"\n\"Acini di Pepe?\"\n\"You got it, Giuseppe!\nThanks a lot.  I was climbin' the walls!\"", "id": 17353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In response to my nation's alarms,\nI was drawn to a uniform's charms.\nThen I lost both my hands.\nNow my mom understands\nThat her son never more will bear arms.", "id": 17354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I would hate to appear pessimistic,\nBut it's quite a depressing statistic:\nIn my postal attire,\nMy chances are higher\nOf snapping and going ballistic.", "id": 17355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I can wear sexy clothes that not many fit\nSince I've kept myself trim and I'm plenty fit,\nBut you've got me all wrong\nWhen you buy me a thong.\nI'm not wearing that thing for your benefit!", "id": 17356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An ale-conner can't help but befuddle\nThe crowd when he sits in a puddle\nOf beer on his stool\nTo display a strange rule:\nA good brew won't stick but a dud'll.", "id": 17357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The blogosphere's surely a blessing\u2014\nThe world a mixed bag, coalescing.\nOne hemisphere shows\nOur democracy's foes,\nWhile the next?  Pretty ladies undressing.", "id": 17358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Every weblog, each thread and each post,\nLeft to right, pole to pole, coast to coast,\nAll share a huge unity,\nA \"cyber-community\nOf thought.\"  That's the blogosphere's boast.", "id": 17359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Any drink made from beans seems unreal to me.\nAll these Starbucks cafes?  No big deal to me.\nIt's a fact, I don't doubt it,\nSome can't live without it,\nBut coffee just doesn't appeal to me.", "id": 17361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Two men, both with arrows and bows,\nTaking part in the sport that they chose;\nOr pranksters aquiver\nO'er jokes they deliver \u2014\nBoth archery? Nobody knows.", "id": 17363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I thought that I taught you before\nThat the implement used near the shore\nFor securing the craft\nIs a boat-hook,\" he laughed,\n\"Not a boat-hooker, mate\u2014that's a whore!\"", "id": 17364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I study at Brunswick, in Maine,\nWhere the winters are truly a pain,\nAnd where Polar Bears swim\nIn the pool by the gym\nWhen they're snowed in at Bowdoin again.", "id": 17365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "In my nose there's a bone with a hollow;\nEach cold causes symptoms to follow.\nMy malfunctioning antrum\nMay bring on a tantrum:\nI cough and I choke and can't swallow.", "id": 17366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Says the Lord, \"If you dare to despise\nMy commandments, then I must advise\nYou that I mean to plague you\nWith heart-rending ague;\nIt burns, and it eats up the eyes.\"", "id": 17367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Abimelech, king of Gerar,\nSaid to Isaac, \"Hey, don't go too far.\nI've no hate in my heart\nAnd I don't want to part\nWith your God and my well-digging star.\"", "id": 17368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "If you're dumb, deaf, and blind in a cell;\nAnd you're numb, bored, and limbless as well\u2014\nIt's not gonna please ya\nTo have anosphresia,\nFor then you could not even smell.", "id": 17369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There was a girl-wonder named Cath\nWho embraced the Olympian path.\nShe swam three times a day\nAcross four miles of  bay\nAnd then drowned at age five in her bath.", "id": 17370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Because fellows at Ford, a fair company,\nReject many cars, but don't dump any,\nCrooks artfully lodge 'em\nAt fairgrounds (think \"dodgem\"),\nThen warn all the kids not to bump any.", "id": 17371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When the French want to find out the lay\nOf the land, to decide yea or nay,\nWhere an Englishman might\nJust try flying a kite,\nThey will send up a ballon d'essai.", "id": 17372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "While a masochist may say, \"It's true!\nDiscomfort is good fun to do,\"\nI can't see the gain,\nAnd alleviate pain\nWith a poultice and aspirin or two.", "id": 17373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The tears are beginning to well\nIn her eyes, and how quickly the spell\nOf the beautiful miss\n(And that promise of bliss)\nHas turned into the bawl of the belle!", "id": 17374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "The yobs who hang out down my street\nKnocked my Auntie Eileen off her feet.\nThose kids' social behaviour\nNeeded order.  Our saviour?\nAn ASBO: it worked out a treat.", "id": 17375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "If a process you need to define,\nTo each step its own block you assign.\nThen draw lines to keep straight\nHow the steps all relate\nAnd thus diagram system design.", "id": 17376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "My judgment is normally sound,\n'Cept the times when my daughter's around.\nThough I have a clear mind,\nThere's one spot that's quite blind.\nComes to her, I've no sense to be found.", "id": 17377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A holiday, based on pure fiction,\nIn Ireland's a way of conviction.\nOn Bloomsday, from Dublin,\nThere's spreadin' a (troublin'?\nRejoiceful?) new readin' addiction.", "id": 17378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "An animal called bigeneric\nIs hybrid, a creature chimeric:\nLike sphinxes or centaurs\nHalf-hatched by inventors,\nThey're beastly crossed breeds esoteric.", "id": 17379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "In my dreams I look down as I fly,\nViewing forests and streams from on high.\nDoes that happen to you?\nIt's a true bird's-eye view:\nHow things look from way up in the sky.", "id": 17380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I went down to the store for a bed,\nBut the store was sold out; so instead\nI was offered a steal\nOn the next discount deal.\n\"Let's let buy-gones be bygones,\" he said.", "id": 17381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Let's make ice cream! We'll eat and make merry!\nFlavored how? Maybe some kind of berry?\nThough the hardwood, my dear,\nMakes a gorgeous veneer,\nUse the fruit, not the wood, of black cherry.", "id": 17382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "George Best went through all of his bread,\nAnd found himself deep in the red.\nHe confirmed he'd spent masses\nOn drink, cars and lasses\u2014\n\"The rest I just squandered,\" he said.", "id": 17383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Anthony Charles Lynton Blair:\nHe just keeps hanging on by a hair.\nI read of elections,\nDefeats, and defections\u2014\nBut, whenever I check, he's still there!", "id": 17384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Bohemianism's intention\nIs to live unrestrained by convention\nWith a privileged few\nAnd create something new\u2014\nBut just what?  That's too touchy to mention!", "id": 17385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "All the best beauty contests now aim\nTo match glamor with brains, so they claim.\nSo a thirty-eight chest,\nI suppose, could suggest\nAn IQ score that's close to the same.", "id": 17386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The right-hander pitched with a grunt\nAs I squared with the bat out in front.\nI think nothing is funner\nThan moving a runner\nBy perfectly placing a bunt.", "id": 17387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "It appears that good fortune has missed ya,\nAnd old Mother Nature has dissed ya.\nYer problem? None sadder:\nYer missing yer bladder!\n(The doctor would call it acystia.)", "id": 17388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Our children are preadolescent,\nAnd their use of our pool is incessant.\nBut the pH is high,\nSo we went out to buy\nSome suppressant for trends alkalescent.", "id": 17389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "I hate broccoli\u2014what a foul veggie!\nThoughts of eating it make me feel edgy.\nSaid my bro, \"Here's a crown.\nBetter swallow it down!\nIf you don't, be prepared for a wedgie!\"", "id": 17390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A tourist from Queensland named Mikey\nCalled Moose, a Hells Angel, a \"bikie\".\nThe biker, enraged,\nJust could not be assuaged,\nSo he broke Mikey's legs and his psyche.", "id": 17391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "C6 plus H5 plus CO\nMakes a benzoyl molecule. Though\nWith peroxide it hits\nAt bacterial zits,\nIt's in almond oil too\u2014now you know!", "id": 17392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Her brittleness shows in her gaze:\nThose pinpricks are cold, yet ablaze\nWith an icy denial\nOf mercy. That smile\nIs cruel as her pitiless ways.", "id": 17393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Herein there are seventeen E's;\nNineteen S's, two X's and D's;\nFive H's, three V's,\nA's, F's, W's; two G's,\nU's; four O's; six R's, I's; eight N's, T's.", "id": 17394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Yogi Berra, the records have shown,\nHas ten Series rings of his own.\nHe not only could hit,\nHe was great with the mitt,\nYet for malaprops now he's most known.", "id": 17395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My girl's so aesthesiogenic\nThat all of my musculophrenic\nParts suffer sensations\nIn such concentrations\nThe outcome is too calisthenic.", "id": 17396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She asked me (my ex, now a friend),\n\"Would you do it all over again?\"\nI said, \"Jude, you're so nice\nI would marry you twice,\nBut then I'm not the brightest of men.\"", "id": 17397, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With my grandsons, I'll often invite 'em\nTo pick out some toys to delight 'em,\nBut my Andrew has got\nHis heart set on a yacht!\nSorry, kid.  That's a big-ticket item.", "id": 17398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "That '63 Chevy Corvair\nWas one beat-up jalopy, I swear!\nBumps and dents were routine\nYet that car was the scene\nOf my very first back seat affair.", "id": 17399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Here's the 4-1-1, Jack, on your date:\nShe's divorced and she swings like a gate,\n31, lives alone,\nDrives a Jag (year unknown)\u2014\nShe is fine and in search of a mate.", "id": 17400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You will have to adfenestrate, Clark,\nBecky's bedroom tonight after dark.\nWhile she knows it's a bother\n(Do not wake her father!),\nShe's tired of trysts in the park.", "id": 17401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Venenata: an acne infernal\nCaused by irritants seen as external.\nThis has agonized you\nAnd your ancestors too,\nSays the Acne Historical Journal.", "id": 17402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When we met in downtown Abu Dhabi,\nShe asked me, \"What brings you here, Bobby?\"\nI replied that the mob\nWas my 9-to-5 job\nAnd that stripping was only a hobby.", "id": 17403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My farmhorse, a Friesian named Fred,\nWears blinkers to focus ahead.\nBut he lost one last night;\nNow he pulls to the right\nAnd is plowing in circles instead.", "id": 17404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "My chemical compound is bare.\nIt is lacking that singular flair.\nWith a bang and a hiss,\nI'll acetylate this;\nGot a group of acetyl to spare?", "id": 17405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "The plural of bureau is bureaux:\nSecretariats doling out eureaux,\nOr desks where we sit\nTo write verses with wit\nAnd draw pen-and-ink chiaroscureaux.", "id": 17406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "\"Of arms and a hero I tell,\nChased from Troy down to Italy.\"  Well,\nHad Aeneas stayed home,\nWe'd have never had Rome,\nThough he hastened sad Dido's death-knell.", "id": 17407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aspidistra's a plant that George Orwell\nWrote a novel about, and what's more, well\nIt's green and grows tall,\nNot distinguished at all;\nIt's a plant one might choose to ignore well.", "id": 17408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm always on time with my car rent,\nAnd I'm never uncouth or abhorrent\u2014\nThat's my helpful initiative.\nAre the Ford folks appreciative?\nI'm sorry to say that they aren't.", "id": 17409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Being baptized can help us to be\nWithout sin, born again, truly free.\nTo be baptized is nice\u2014\nThere's no need for it twice\u2014\nAn' a Baptist would surely agree.", "id": 17410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my class was a dreamy young lad,\nInattentive, but not really bad.\nSeveral times in each day\nHe seemed far, far away,\nAbsence seizures is what the boy had.", "id": 17411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My husband can't see when I smirka\nAnd mouth that I think he's a jerka.\nIt's not that he's blind,\nBut because he's confined\nMe to wearing this face-hiding burqa.", "id": 17412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From his crib my son Thomas can climb;\nFor a \"youth\" bed, I figure it's time.\nBut the store showed me \"teen\"\nAnd a \"king\", and a \"queen\".\nFor a boycott, this outlet was prime.", "id": 17413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A crusty old Scrabbler named Frank\nHad a game going bad, in the tank.\n\"Draw a 'G', 63,\n50 bonus if 'P'.\"\nOn his turn he (\"...Let's see...\") drew a blank.", "id": 17414, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My words landed hard, with a thud.\n\"If you please, sir, your speech was a dud.\nI'd have to be barmy\nTo sign with the Army\nWhen Navy runs thick in my blood.\"", "id": 17415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though perceived as a great place to play,\nMother Nature builds fences this way.\nHolding back the sea's reach\nIs a barrier beach,\nA thin island twixt ocean and bay.", "id": 17416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If it's folded to fan open wide,\nAnd when squeezed, gets much smaller inside,\nAnd looks like a bellows:\nAccordion, fellows,\nDoesn't mean there's a feline that's died.", "id": 17417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "We know NASA for alphabet soup:\nAll the acronyms make our lids droop.\nBut here's proof of the rumor\nThat somewhere, there's humor:\nThe backronym acronym group.", "id": 17418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "It's seven?  Too soon to be waking.\nEleven?  My belly is aching.\nIt's time for my brunch.\n(That's like breakfast and lunch\nAll in one. So you'd better start baking.)", "id": 17419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I like to eat veggies; I'm breezy\u2014\nI eat broccoli, leeks, easy-peasy!\nBut I tell you that broad beans\nAre basically flawed beans;\nThey're green, but they make my tum queasy.", "id": 17420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As the camera moves close for a zoom,\nNot a sound can be heard in the room,\nAnd it's obvious why:\nThe mike's thirty feet high\u2014\n\"Hey, Jos\u00e9!  Time to lower the boom.\"", "id": 17421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "With no contract, the deal he affirms;\n\"You can trust me,\" he says as he squirms.\nThough it might seem unjust,\nThe words lawyer and  trust\nAre a clear contradiction in terms.", "id": 17422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "As you hike through the heather and bracken,\nYour pace will most certainly slacken.\nAs your feet get entangled\nAnd clothing  gets mangled,\nThe brakes make it hard to get crackin'.", "id": 17423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Muttered Balak to Balaam, \"At first,\nI considered you fairly well versed\nIn giving a damn\nWith bullock and ram\u2014\nBut you blessed those that I wanted cursed.\"", "id": 17424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "\"I'm accepting all comers,\" said he,\n\"I can win any fight as you'll see.\"\nThen a hulk came along,\nQuickly proving him wrong.\nHe whined, \"How could this happen to me?\"", "id": 17425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I have stables and pigpens and byres,\nAll a gentleman farmer requires,\nWith my mares and my sows,\nNot to mention my cows,\nWinning all the awards in these shires.", "id": 17426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "They said when my wife was abducted,\nThe kidnappers found she obstructed\nThe plan they had made\nWhen plotting their raid;\nIf they'd known her they'd surely have chucked it.", "id": 17427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "You were flawed, but you have my esteem,\nSo ascend, Moses, Mount Abarim.\nYou were doubtful in Zin;\nYou'll pass on, and not in\u2014\nTake a peek at the end of your dream.", "id": 17428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Black-eyed Susan? A flower, of course:\nA bouquet of them might show remorse.\nBut your rue must be true,\nOr you know what she'll do:\nBlack-eyed Susan will file for divorce.", "id": 17429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A quartet formed of tubas will roar,\nSounding bass notes that rumble the floor.\nPlease stay safe in your seat \u2014\nDon't get knocked off your feet\nWhen you're whacked by a big tuba four.", "id": 17430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Troy Aikman, of quarterback fame,\nLed the Cowboys in many a game.\nAfter linemen had sacked him,\nAnd body pains wracked him,\nPoor Aikman lived up to his name.", "id": 17431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Son Chad headed south to his dad's;\nIn his luggage he packed a sharp adze.\nFor protection, not wood:\nHe had misunderstood,\nWhen he'd heard they were still hanging chads.", "id": 17432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "An altar that's fancy and fluted\u2014\nIs that what God wants? It's refuted\nIn Exodus; stone\nOr plain earth, He'd condone.\nIf you alter the stone, it's polluted.", "id": 17433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Achondritic rocks, rockhounds find cool\u2014\nWell, they are cool; they've chilled in the pool\nOf our meteor debris\nSince four billion B.C.\u2014\nAnd their chondrules aren't there as a rule.", "id": 17434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Acanthocybium, fish of warm oceans,\nAre fighters that loathe sushi notions.\nNamed peto and wahoo,\nIf fish could use Yahoo!\nThey'd pinpoint this genus's motions.", "id": 17435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "The process of alkalization\nIs sweeping the earth metal nation!\nRaise your pH post-haste\u2014\nThen you'll be much more based\nIn your hydrogen neutralization.", "id": 17436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When you teach quantum physics, frustration\nWill meet your attempts at temptation.\nTalk of tunneling's fine,\nBut they'll miss every sign\nThat your barrier begs penetration.", "id": 17437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Burning books: it has always been done,\nSending freedom of thought on the run.\nHow the pious delight,\nAs those books all ignite\nAt Fahrenheit 451.", "id": 17438, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If you suffer abrachiocephalia,\nDon't let negative thinking derail yer.\nThough you've no arms or head,\nYou'll feel great once you've read\nThis delightful brochure that I'll mail yer.", "id": 17439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The loggers are brushing the road,\nFilling holes so the work won't be slowed.\nIt's a difficult pass\nThrough a swampy morass\nFor a skidder that's dragging a load.", "id": 17440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Left behind, from the brush cuts we see\nOn our soldiers, is hairy debris,\nWhereas brush-cutting means\nWhen a lumberjack cleans\nOut the slash from a trail or a tree.", "id": 17441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "At Melville's most famous of tales,\nCharles Windsor incessantly rails.\n\"Moby Dick (that behemoth!)\nMust certainly be myth\nFor I am the true Prince of Wales!\"", "id": 17442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "It's not likely a blond piece of fluff\nWill be strutting around in the buff.\nMost nudists you'll see\nLook like you and like me;\nSoon you'll find that you've seen quite enough.", "id": 17443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "To fit Cleopatra's great fame,\nSome hieroglyphs used in her name\nWere \"lasso\", \"lips\", \"lion\",\nAnd \"hand\"\u2014as if tryin'\nTo keep \"vulture\" Aleph quite tame.", "id": 17444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "D. Bernoulli was early and great:\nWhen he published a book on the state\nOf his knowledge on flow\u2014\nWhich was not at all low\u2014\nIt was seventeen-thirty-and-eight.", "id": 17445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In the age of \"Magnificent Lawrence\",\nSome Sandro, who looked with abhorrence\nOn a corpulent belly,\nWas called Botticelli:\nA marvellous painter of Florence.", "id": 17446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When you see that a barrage balloon\nIs climbing one bright afternoon,\nIt's perfectly clear\nThat the Huns will be here\nIn an hour \u2014 or certainly soon.", "id": 17447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Antidisestablishmentarianism\nNailed Britain's mass antitheism.\nAs Trinities dim,\nEnts nab, alas, Him,\nAnd net British aisles animatism.", "id": 17448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A promiscuous sprinter named Wright\nCould have fled from the soldiers all night,\nBut they barracked her speed\n(And her, too), for you need\nTo be chaste to be chased into flight.", "id": 17449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The BASE jumper's naked wild thrashing\nBrought sixty-six awnings down crashing.\nHis screams of regret\nTurned to sobs in the net,\nBut resumed when they charged him with flashing.", "id": 17452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Flu or allergy's no joking matter.\nYour immune system's blamed for the latter.\nForeign matter's a danger;\nYour immune cell as ranger\nMight strike back as mad as a hatter!", "id": 17453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An animal. That's what we call\nA thug in a bust-bottle brawl.\nPerhaps we should snap,\n\"That vile piece of crap\nHas no animal grace \u2014 none at all!\"", "id": 17454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "No, you can't be at any man's beck,\nBecause beck is archaic but, heck,\nYou could end up, you know,\nAt his beck and call, so\nDon't let any man treat you like dreck.", "id": 17455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Boxiana means all things pertaining\nTo boxing, which needs no explaining.\nThey are objects and tales\nOf young guys hard as nails,\nWho will quit with few brain cells remaining.", "id": 17456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "She might use her atlas to find\nA town with which memory's entwined.\nOn that '84 trip\nWith her first love (that drip!)\nShe learned love, unlike maps, can be blind.", "id": 17457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "How dare you invade my sweet life,\nYou bringer of conflict and strife?\nUntil you came along,\nNot a thing had gone wrong,\nBut now discord and friction are rife!", "id": 17458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The brushwood grows moist in the shade\n'Neath the trees at the edge of the glade,\nWhere the sunlight can pour,\nThick and sweet, to the floor\nOf the forest, where tangles invade.", "id": 17459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Your demeanor (when push comes to shove)\nReminds me of elders I love.\nIf you act like an uncle,\nI say, prithee, nuncle,\nAvuncular fits like a glove.", "id": 17460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The poet describes his excursion\nTo woo a fair maid.  In his version,\nDevotion grows wings\u2014\nLike a nightingale, sings.\nIt's a bulbul? The poet is Persian!", "id": 17461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you reach Buenos Aires I'll see ya\nIn a corner cafe.  There with glee a\nNice mat\u00e9 we'll drink,\nAnd we'll drink it, I think,\nThrough a straw that is called a bombilla.", "id": 17462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If one acts like a bonehead, one may\nBehave just like a jerk: one may say\nThings that injure, embarrass,\nDisparage, or harass,\nIn a rock-headed, blockheaded way.", "id": 17463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the backcourt, you're farther away\nFrom the tennis court's net when you play,\nSo the ball's hit, of course,\nUsing maximum force;\nTennis victories happen that way.", "id": 17464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Politicians will stay out of sight,\nAnd in some cases even take flight,\nWhen the guys from the press\nGet their aides to confess,\nAnd they find their misdeeds brought to light.", "id": 17465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He had rubies set into his buckteeth,\nSaid these prominent teeth were good luck-teeth;\nBut it made him look eerie.\nFolks said, \"Tell me, dearie,\nJust who is the clown with the schmuck-teeth?\"", "id": 17466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Expressions like \"give me a break\"\nAre the buzzwords and phrases that make\nAn impression on folks\nWhen you use them\u2014the joke's\nThat they think you're not savvy, but fake.", "id": 17467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Take two pipes cut at ninety and held\nIn some clamps, then they're ready to meld.\nFire up the new TIG\nOr industrial MIG,\nAnd join tubes end-to-end: a butt weld.", "id": 17468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats, as a bushranging stranger,\nRoamed the Outback just searching for danger.\nLike an outlaw of old,\nHe was grizzled and cold\nAnd one hell of a home-on-the-ranger.", "id": 17469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Many works have been writ by Anon\nFrom the modern to ages long gone.\nBut the name of Anonymous\nIs hiding Hieronymus\nOr Sean, or Antoine, or Yvonne.", "id": 17470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I'm a man, not some park-dwelling pigeon;\nCorrespondingly, in my religion\nMy god's like a man\u2014\nHe's a Patriots fan!\nAnthropopathy? Maybe a smidgen.", "id": 17471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Said the doctor, \"My firm diagnosis\nIs abdominal fibromatosis.\nA tumor's the issue\u2014\nNot cancerous tissue,\nBut merely a type of fibrosis.\"", "id": 17472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "What's wrong with the baby?  You think he\nNeeds a nap, or a bottle to drink?  He\nKeeps on howling and crying...\nThere's just no denying:\nYou shouldn't have taken his Binky!", "id": 17473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Things Fall Apart", "limerick": "My cousin's a mean girl of five\nWhom I never would dare to deprive\u2014\nUntil one fateful day\nI took Barbie away;\nAnd her brattiness didn't survive.", "id": 17474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The blowup we had was a beaut;\nShe was mad (how'd I once think her cute?).\n\"If you can't be sincere,\nI'll just blow out of here,\nAnd don't argue\u2014your points are all moot.\"", "id": 17475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Since her day job's just work at a desk,\nShe decided to dance in burlesque,\nBut her bump and her grind\nFailed to tease,  fishnets bind,\nAnd in pasties she looks too grotesque.", "id": 17476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When sausage-producing techniques\nAre applied to beef blood, guts and cheeks,\nSoon these byproducts will\nBe no longer called  swill\nBut instead, choice p\u00e2t\u00e9s in boutiques.", "id": 17477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "You're young and you listen and smirk,\nBut don't buckle to yearnings to shirk\nThese two guidelines: pledge you'll\nBuckle down when in school;\nBuckle up in the car.  These rules work!", "id": 17479, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In days bypast, I throve in my glory,\nBut now you'd describe me as hoary.\nWish the future still held\nNew distinctions that spelled\nLove and money, but no: end of story.", "id": 17480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX and Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If your mind can effect relocation\nOf objects from station to station\n(Check my doctoral thesis\nOn psychokinesis),\nThat's anomalous (zap!) perturbation.", "id": 17481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We're divorced, and we'll never pretend\nThat our marriage was good at the end.\nI hate her; she hates me.\nNow we're blissfully free!\nTruly, all's well that ends well, my friend.", "id": 17482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You've a blotch on your face\u2014that's the rumor\u2014\nAnd it isn't a subject for humor.\nIf it's painless and red\nIt may be, the doc said,\nA benign angiomatous tumor.", "id": 17483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As we searched for my grandfather's tomb\nThrough a vapor of gloom, and of doom,\nA faint breeze, with a twist,\nBlew away the blue mist,\nThen the tomb seemed to loom from the brume.", "id": 17484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To be aidant's an old-fashioned way\nTo be helpful\u2014as Shakespeare might say.\nThought it's pleasant when heard,\nAnd a very nice word,\nAidant's rarely encountered today.", "id": 17485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Consider the bruin, or bear,\nWho spends winter alone in his lair,\nWhere his hormones will keep\nHim in deep, carefree sleep\u2014\nI might try it myself\u2014do I dare?", "id": 17486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he found that the fungus was killin'\nThe germs, Alex Fleming was willin'\nTo examine the mold\nFound on bread; we are told\nThat's the way that he found penicillin.", "id": 17487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anomalocaris, I know,\nLived on Earth, but a long time ago.\nIts strange name means \"odd shrimp\";\nIt was fierce, not a wimp,\nAnd it measured two meters or so.", "id": 17488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First a bite, then the parasites flood,\nReproduce, and you're feeling like crud.\nYou should seek accol\u00e9 forms\u2014\nAlso called appliqu\u00e9 forms\u2014\nThey're seen in the cells of your blood.", "id": 17489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "\"These are not Scottish cattle, you goof!\"\nHollered I to the drunk on the roof.\nThen a red-spotted rogue\nGave a moo\u2014with a brogue!\n\"'Ere, you shee,\" spluttered he, \"Ayrshire proof!\"", "id": 17490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said the girl to the handsome young fluter,\n\"Your instrument couldn't be cuter.\nIs it made, do you think,\nOut of nickel, or zinc,\nOr Britannia metal, or pewter?\"", "id": 17491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Here's the biopsy,\" said Dr. Spencer,\nAs he labored to help the hurt fencer,\n\"There's the answer we seek\u2014\nThrough the microscope, peek\nWith the aid of an Abbe's condenser.\"", "id": 17492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "FunkyTuba", "limerick": "My son tried to affix his new sticker.\nHis assiduous sis is a licker.\nSo the sticker stuck less\n'Cause sis licked to excess.\nBond was gone. Mad son smacked sis's snicker.", "id": 17493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The brisket's the breast of a cow\n(Once it's butchered as beef, anyhow).\nIt's the part that you corn\nSo it's sorta reborn\nAs corned beef and cabbage. Eat now!", "id": 17494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I went down by the river to jog,\nSaw some ferns, and jumped over a log;\nThere my shoes were enslurped,\nStickied, spongied, and burped\nBy the damp, grasping, Hoover-esque bog.", "id": 17495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Poor beginnings defied routine fates;\nSolid endings won weighty debates.\nMr. Lincoln stood tall\nTo conciliate all \u2014\nAbly guiding these United States.", "id": 17496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"What happened to all of the flowers,\"\nSaid Jenny, \"that fill up my hours?\"\n\"I just cut the lawn;\nNow your plants are all gone,\"\nTom said, balefully, \"piled up in towers.\"", "id": 17497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I once knew an aardvark, Ren\u00e9;\n\"I'm really an rdvrk,\" he'd say.\n\"Your spelling is tainted,\nYou anteater. Ain't it\nQuite hard to pronounce it?\" \"No way!\"", "id": 17498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Fiction's masterful villains of crime\nFind a Glock or an Uzi sublime.\nA pistol called burp gun \u2014\nNo old Wyatt Earp gun \u2014\nSpits bullets a bunch at a time.", "id": 17499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The yuppie all day had been rakin'\nIn dough, and for baked goods was achin';\nHe stopped at the stores,\nBought some Pop-Tarts and s'mores,\nThen continued, to bring home the bakin'.", "id": 17500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Having drawn all the strength he could muster,\nHe threatened a long filibuster;\nThe chairman replied,\n\"If you try it, you're fried,\nAnd I do not appreciate bluster.\"", "id": 17501, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Triple strands side-by-side, you've arrayed;\nTie a knot at one end that you've made.\nMove the \"mid\" over right;\nMove \"mid\" left and pull tight,\nAnd repeat 'til you've fashioned a braid.", "id": 17502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'm la fille a detective employs\nTo entrap any homme who enjoys\nA few moments\u2014a dollop\u2014\nDe temps with a trollop.\nI'm Agent Provocateur, boys.", "id": 17504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Since the folks at the circus had signed her\nTo close things, she'd been through the grinder.\nShe'd be fine: the detail\nOf the plan for the sale\nWas laid out in a new three-ring binder.", "id": 17505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A person who books is a booker;\nThat girl over there is a looker,\nBut it's I who have looked\nAt her charms, and been hooked:\nDoes it follow she must be a hooker?", "id": 17506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "\"Angel music?\" said Mozart, \"Sublime;\nI'm in Heaven, of course. And yet \u2014 I'm\nReluctant to carp,\nBut the sound of the harp\nDoes get tedious after a time.\"", "id": 17507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Said the photograph editor: \"Go up\nTo Baghdad: I want a good blow-up\nOf your best front-line shot.\"\nBut when witnessing what\nA blow-up means here, I must throw up.", "id": 17508, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A warning to people who chew gum:\nIf you're looking for some sort of new gum,\nDon't travel to Oz\nTo seek it because\nYou have heard of Australian blue gum.", "id": 17509, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I was doing some woodwork in Bristol,\nAnd my friend said, \"Do borrow my chisel!\nIf you should need another,\nApply to my brother:\nIf mine doesn't work, I'm sure his'll.\"", "id": 17510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "At the Ritz, when I suddenly fell,\nI was raised by the ma\u00eetre d'h\u00f4tel,\nWho advised, \"Please be calm, cher\nMonsieur; take this armchair,\nAnd sit there until you feel well.\"", "id": 17511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As he's writing, he does so with dots\nThat are raised in particular spots.\nThese are touched to be \"seen\"\nBy deft fingers that glean\nWhat the Braillist so carefully plots.", "id": 17512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "He is similar; larger, in weight\nThan the cigarette beetle, his mate.\nSteal in drugstores? He'll risk it.\nThis breed takes the biscuit,\nSo weevil get very irate.", "id": 17513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's a word we don't say during Lent,\nWhen for forty long days we repent\nAll our sins of commission\nAnd suffer contrition.\nIt's reserved \u2014 for that Easter event.", "id": 17514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When I say I've got brandy on board,\nI don't mean that I'm stowing a hoard\nOn a ship or a boat\u2014\nNo, my liver's afloat,\nAnd I'll drink 'til I've pickled my gourd.", "id": 17515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Brucella's a coccobacillus,\nParasitic and able to kill us.\nIts deadly potential\nBecomes exponential,\nA very real threat which should chill us.", "id": 17516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When the market is bullish, I buy.\nIf it then becomes bearish, I cry.\nBut bullish or bearish,\nIt's all laissez faire-ish,\nWhich can mean being left high and dry.", "id": 17517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In Scotland, to go on the broo\nIs something the out-of-work do.\nTo get aid from the state,\nThey sign on, queue and wait\nAt the bureau (mis-rendered buroo).", "id": 17518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "His specialty's bending the ball\nSo it flies round the side of the wall.\nHis banana kick's such\nThat he doesn't miss much,\nAs no goalie can touch it at all.", "id": 17519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "A pitcher who's giving his all,\nBut throws ball after ball after ball,\nShould prepare to be leaving\n'Cuz he best be believing\nThe bullpen is getting a call.", "id": 17520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "From the very first notes to the closing,\nThe Art of the Fugue keeps exposing\nThat Bach reigned supreme\nAs the cream of the cream.\nWhat's he doing today? Decomposing.", "id": 17521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Let's talk about amortization \u2014\nA lender's financial creation.\nEvery year that you pay,\nHe'll be rolling in hay:\nAn interesting banking relation.", "id": 17522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sherlock Holmes was retained to reveal\nThe Fate of the Vanishing Meal.\nThe case turned banal\nWhen Holmes found a canal.\n\"Alimentary,\" he said, \"No big deal.\"", "id": 17523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The bell is the captain's (not ship's),\nAnd he rings it (for help with the grips).\nWhen the luggage looms large\nIt's the bell captain's charge\nTo dispatch it through bellboys (for tips).", "id": 17524, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "An old man who sold Aaron's beard\nDeclaimed, \"It is just as I feared.\nI ask buyers, 'Which Aaron?'\nThey demand rose of Sharon,\nThat gaudy hibiscus.\" He sneered.", "id": 17525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Miss Mimi", "limerick": "My love is eternal, it's true,\nAnd my death will not keep me from you.\nEven though I've checked out,\nYou'll still see me, no doubt.\nI'll remain, now and always, your boo.", "id": 17526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Forsaken no more, my delight!\nNo more dusty and barren, but bright.\nMy beauty, my Beulah\u2014\nRejoice! I'm a fool, a\nLad lusting for you (and tonight).", "id": 17527, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though her freedom I'd never begrudge,\nLittle bird-brains are apt to misjudge.\nOn my budgie's first flight\nShe flew into the light,\nAnd a truck-driver christened her \"Smudge\".", "id": 17528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Chaoticians have learned to expect\nThat each butterfly has an effect.\nIs its flapping a crime\nAgainst order and time?\nAll the oracles' futures are wrecked!", "id": 17529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Use a recipe? Bah, what a crock!\nYou might say my soup is ad hoc,\nFor it's improvised swill,\nAnd I change it at will\nWith whatever's at hand and in stock.", "id": 17530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Play for pay? From a young age I knew\nMy professional chances were few.\nBut I still love to play,\nThough I do without pay:\nI'm a member of team A.A.U.", "id": 17531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "If you find that your life leaves you frettin',\nConsider the plight of the Breton\nWho feels his guts wrench\nWhen he's forced to speak French.\nSacr\u00e9 bleu! It's beaucoup too upsettin'!", "id": 17532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Crisp biscotti are such a delight;\nYou'll agree after only one bite.\nAnise-flavored's the best,\nOr there's lemon for zest.\nThe Italians do cookies just right.", "id": 17533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A fruit-loving fellow from Guam\nLoved balaustine desserts (made of pom-\negranate, whose flowers\nHave medicinal powers\nWhen dried, as a tea or a balm).", "id": 17534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Oceanographer Ollie will stand\nAt the prow and take soundings by hand.\nA hole in the plummet\nHolds arming, and from it\nCome samples of rock, mud, or sand.", "id": 17535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "You are mine! Little lamb, my dear heart;\nWhen you go I am lost, let's not part!\nO, Agnus, my dear,\nYou have nothing to fear;\nBut without you, my dinner can't start!", "id": 17536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "On the waves our ship tossed, lightly laded.\nBut once Africa's coastlands were raided,\nThe weight was increased\nAnd our sea-sickness ceased\u2014\nWith the ballast of slaves to be traded.", "id": 17537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "\"Must we stay?\"  \"Here's an entry; let's look.\"\n\"Can we go now?\"  \"A limerick\u2014nice hook!\"\n\"This is boring. Let's go.\"\n\"It's poetic! Good show!\nI just love it!\"  \"It's nerdy. Let's book.\"", "id": 17538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As the singer who wore white buck shoes,\nPat Boone covered rhythm and blues.\nHe was king of the charts,\nStealing all the girls' hearts,\nEven with his conservative views.", "id": 17540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our Frankie won't travel the highway;\nHe'd rather take detour and byway.\n\"I might arrive later \u2014\nYour path is much straighter.\nWhat matters is, I did it my way.\"", "id": 17541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Mrs. Bentz I shall fervently praise:\nSweet Melitta, who launches my days.\nToast the angels who sent her\u2014\nThe lady inventor\u2014\nMy well-filtered coffee I raise!", "id": 17542, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When he counted his wealth, it was vast;\nThere was money in piles he'd amassed.\nWhen his friends asked him how,\nHe did not disavow\nIt was baseness and greed unsurpassed.", "id": 17543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bolo, solo, has taught me Barolo\nAnd many dumb rhymes like palolo.\nHe's just a French guy\nWho got shot as a spy \u2014\nAnd who shows it is tough to rhyme -olo.", "id": 17546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A beginner can't doe-eyed foresee\nGroupings here if jocosity's key.\nLend my nimble old pen\nQuick respect, sweetheart, then\nUnleashed vowels won't \"xerus\" your Z!", "id": 17547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Had you spotted my clues, my rhymes jolly would\nHave shown you which Film Mecca's folly would\nBe featured here. Golly,\nNot Hollywood, Molly \u2014\nThe much bigger film centre, Bollywood!", "id": 17548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though anomaly looks a tad stuffy,\nYou needn't despair or get huffy.\nIt's just what seems wrong,\nOr what doesn't belong,\nLike a ravening pit bull named Fluffy.", "id": 17549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I shall show the full meaning of blank,\nUsing just the next line, as a prank:\n__ ____ ______ __ _______\nYou don't see? Deary me!\nSeems my prank drew a blank, to be frank.", "id": 17550, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An aircraftman, Hank, drew a blank,\nWhen borrowing funds from a bank.\nHe was told, \"We're afraid\nThat you're much too low-paid.\"\n(In the airforce, he's lowest in rank.)", "id": 17551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the sun sets, the sky becomes pink.\nThe beautiful scene makes me think\nOf the long night ahead,\nWatching reruns in bed,\nSo I have my acronychal drink.\t", "id": 17552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "ESL class at NMS Middle School", "limerick": "There once was a bichon fris\u00e9\nWho was white with some patches of gray.\nHe was lively and small\nAnd not very tall;\nHe enjoyed a fine bone every day.", "id": 17553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Most country folk don't flip their wigs\nOver food trends or health-conscious prigs.\nThey don't care who has slimmed,\nAnd won't drink their milk skimmed\u2014\nThat's just blue john; it's fed to the pigs.", "id": 17554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Can I organise? Not on your life!\nIt would only cause trouble and strife.\nTrusting me with arrangements\nWill lead to estrangements\u2014\nThe bandobast's up to the wife.", "id": 17556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "My sleeplessness wasn't comedic.\nThe doctor, a staunch Ayurvedic,\nSaid, \"The cure in this matter\nIs light, crispy batter.\"\nNow my mattress is tempura-pedic.", "id": 17557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The band down in Prison Block C\nIs quite heinous\u2014as bad as can be.\nAs to why it's sub-par:\nThey all know every bar,\nBut they simply cannot get the key.", "id": 17558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Formed concrete, first used as a frame\nOr as fill, for the moderns became\nA new toy to expose,\nAnd now everyone knows\nBrutalism. Corbu gets the blame.", "id": 17559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If only it'd been a bit stinky.\nHe got milk, but on taking a drink, he\nFound it lumpy and tart,\nAnd he spat with a start\u2014\nHis big tumbler of milk had gone blinky.", "id": 17560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "That omnivorous Aussie, the bandicoot,\nEats available insects and handy fruit.\nHer strange pouch that's reversed\nKeeps out dirt (that's the worst!)\nWhile she burrows along with her sandy snoot.", "id": 17561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the Garden of Eden you'd fail\nTo find liquor or spirits on sale,\nAnd this, says my daughter,\nIs why today water\nWill sometimes be dubbed Adam's ale.", "id": 17562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In the midst of a most solemn scene\n(A soliloquy voiced by the queen),\nA short burst of applause\nAnd some hearty guffaws\nTold the troupe that those watching were green.", "id": 17564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"A smart one, quite clever:  He's bright.\"\n\"That is nice, but I asked: 'Can he write?'\"\n\"Can he write? Words galore!\nIf you ask, he'll write more!\"\n\"Does he put them in order?\" \"Not quite.\"", "id": 17565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "\"My test results, Doc, what's the answer?\"\nLooking grim, he replied to the man, \"Sir,\nYou've got cancer; it's true\u2026\nAnd you've Alzheimer's, too.\"\nSaid the patient, \"Thank God it's not cancer.\"", "id": 17566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An embarrassing bed-wetting case\nCan evaporate, leaving no trace.\nEnuresis might seem\nLike it's just a bad dream,\nBut for children it's quite a disgrace.", "id": 17567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "While my auntie went off to the draper's,\nI lunched. But I gave her the vapors\nAnd my name was pure mud,\nFor I nipped in the bud\nAll her artichokes, Brussels sprouts, capers.", "id": 17568, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "What's this smooth, powdered fungus you've brought us?\nAcremonium? Dear, that's so not us!\nPut it down! You could get\nMycetoma, my pet.\nOh, that Madura foot might well rot us!", "id": 17569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "For a baking potato that's right,\nYou should choose a nice russet or white\u2014\nNot too soft, not too old,\nStored in cool (but not cold).\nThen this tuber should be a delight.", "id": 17570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "It is plain you have mangled your brain,\nBut the damage is hard to explain,\n'Cause you're jumping about\nWith your tongue hanging out.\nThere's no doubt you're completely insane.", "id": 17571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though my prospects for winning are slim,\nAnd I seldom buy clothes on a whim,\nFor this twenty-mile run\nIn the hot summer sun,\nI have purchased a hat with a brim.", "id": 17572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My domicile went up in smoke\nIn the night, and it wasn't a joke.\nA brunette when my head\nHit the pillow in bed,\nI'd become an ash blonde when I woke.", "id": 17573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and SheilaB", "limerick": "Break-even: this point marks a stage\nWhich a process may reach at some age\u2014\nNeither profit nor loss\nIn the figures that cross\nOn the bookkeeper's balance-sheet page.", "id": 17574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Senior moments will make us feel old;\nIce cream headaches, sometimes, way too cold.\nBoth cause trouble or worse,\nBut when naming each curse,\nFour-to-one prefer brain freeze when polled.", "id": 17575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Have my four-score and four years been spent\nIn a way that has left discontent?\nSure, it could be my age,\t\nOr it might be my rage   \t\nThat I'm now geriatrically bent.", "id": 17576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "The thunderstorm boomed; what a sound!\nAnd the boom of our boat swung around.\nThen the Coast Guard arrived\nMaking sure we survived\u2014\nWhen the boom we'd hit ran us aground.", "id": 17577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "A young skier who lived in Peru\nHad a ski that detached from her shoe.\nThe face-first fall she took\nWas sure one for the book\u2014\nAnd her backside was imprinted, too.", "id": 17578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Are amnions needed? In fact,\nThey help keep a baby intact.\nHolding fluids, they cushion,\n'Til mom starts a-pushin'\nSayin', \"High time this womb was unpacked!\"", "id": 17579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My cow's in your garden?  Oy, vey!\nThat's the fifth time she's gotten away.\nI make no pretenses:\nShe likes breaking fences!\nShe's breachy; what more can I say?", "id": 17580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My Theresa has got beriberi.\nI confessed, \"This is quite scary, Terry.\nIt is thiamine, Love,\nYou don't get enough of,\nAnd the doctors are all very wary.\"", "id": 17581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and Robert Holland", "limerick": "My booster bag makes it a breeze\nTo shoplift whatever I please.\nIt works to perfection\nAnd \"foils\" all detection.\nLast month I scored seven TVs.", "id": 17582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The winter's been cold and, what's more,\nFar more wildlife has starved than before.\nSo what will you do\nWhen you hear it?:  \"A-oooo!\"\nDo be wary of wolves at your door!", "id": 17583, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman and sigg", "limerick": "Said the doctor while having a peek\nAt my chronically sickly physique,\n\"I fear that it's clear,\nThere's no anesis here.\"\nBut at least he could say it in Greek.", "id": 17584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Jellystone Park, people stare\nAt the nudists with nothing to wear.\nBut the naturist scene\nStays composed and serene;\nIt's no booboo they choose yoga bare.", "id": 17585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From his billfold, a guy named MacGyver\nPulled a twenty, two tens, and a fiver.\n\"If you guess what I've got,\nI'll buy drinks for the lot,\nSo I don't drink myself.  I'm the driver.\"", "id": 17586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When a church or a courthouse grows high,\nLet a piece of it reach for the sky.\nTo summon or warn\n(As well as adorn),\nA bell tower catches your eye.", "id": 17587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With a thunk and a clunk and a crash,\nYou would empty your coal stove of ash.\nHaving ash cans about\nLet you haul the ash out;\nBut today they most likely hold trash.", "id": 17588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Bowser's a pet name for hounds,\nMutts or purebreds, at large or in pounds.\nBe it spaniel or terrier,\nA dog's life is merrier\nWhen this term of affection abounds.", "id": 17589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "She brings to this forum new meaning\nWithout common sense intervening.\nWhen it comes to sheer nerve,\nShe has plenty of verve,\nBut an absence of good mental screening.", "id": 17590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He moves as though walking through sludge;\nMy entreaties can't get him to budge.\nI wish in my dream\nWe could get up some steam,\nBut he's torpid, so onward we trudge.", "id": 17591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The bugler makes sounds sharp and clear,\nGuaranteed to bring pain to your ear.\nIf I'm playing my cello\nIn front of this fellow,\nI'll soon be unable to hear.", "id": 17592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Behold the inveterate fumbler:\nUngainly, a klutz and a stumbler.\nWhat he handles he'll break;\nThere's a mess in his wake.\nI should know, since I live with this bumbler.", "id": 17593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "We've had to re-route the N3\nThrough a farm where the cattle run free.\nThe bull was sedated,\nHis field excavated\u2014\nThe bull dozed. We bulldozed his tree.", "id": 17594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Out fishing one day in the moat,\nI landed a fish in my boat,\nBut my vision went tunnel\u2014\nIt slipped down the gunnel!\nThat butterfish sure got my goat!", "id": 17595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "We've a Labrador dog; he's a case\nWith a pedigree. Odd? Just a trace.\nHe abhors getting wet,\nAnd a trip to the vet\nBrings to mind parts he cannot replace.", "id": 17596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In circumference, it measures a yard;\nFor a weakling, to hoist it is hard.\nIt's a bolt's worth of reeds.\nAnd a weakling concedes\nIt beats hoisting a weakling's petard.", "id": 17597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "During hernia sutures last spring,\nThe doc lost his BlackBerry thing.\nHe felt pretty blue\nAnd I knew I could sue\nWhen I heard that abdominal ring.", "id": 17598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Athaliah searched high and searched low\nFor her grandchildren. Why? To bestow\nAn affectionate hug?\nNo, to sever their jug-\nulars. Why? She was Queen. Now you know.", "id": 17601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Agabus, standing: \"I hear it.\nIt's signified clear by the spirit:\nA hurdle of dearth\nWill engirdle the earth\u2014\nBut your cash contributions will clear it.\"", "id": 17602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Cell to mate: \"My defense is in line\u2014\nI'm intact, undissolved, feeling fine.\nBut when bacteriolysin\nBinds, dearie, all is in\nHands that are stronger than mine.\"", "id": 17603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Ahimelech said to Saul, \"Lord,\nIt is true I took David aboard.\nBut Doeg's just fretting\u2014\nHe calls it abetting\u2014\nI gave Dave Goliath's old sword.\"", "id": 17604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Barjesus, we heard Paulus call us,\"\nSaid Saul, \"So stop trying to stall us.\nYou're bad beyond reason\u2014\nBe blind for a season!\"\nThis scared the bejeezus from Paulus.", "id": 17605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "This elk is a cow. She's in heat.\nShe is watching one bull elk get beat\nBy another so beamy,\nSo bullish, so dreamy,\nShe's dazzled; her joy is complete.", "id": 17606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I'm boracic, I haven't a bean,\nAnd I wish someone would intervene.\nI'm penniless, broke \u2014\nBut you seem a nice bloke \u2014\nCome on! Lend me ten quid, don't be mean.", "id": 17607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When people say \"trust me,\" I can't\nIf their reasons are half-baked or scant.\nThey're assuredly eager\nBut truthwise, quite meager,\nAssuring it's mistrust they plant.", "id": 17608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Male physiques need to be the right kind:\nTaut and toned, both in front and behind;\nRipped and rugged, not rough;\nBig-armed, beefy and buff.\n(Like my words, I like men well defined!)", "id": 17609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "The Australian magpie is known\nTo assault all who enter its zone.\nAn ill-tempered old maggie\nAttacked my Aunt Aggie.\n(Serves her right; she's an evil old crone.)", "id": 17610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Can't attend dinner parties or plays.\nIt's the season to harvest the maize,\nMilk the cow, feed the goats,\nShoe the horse, crush the oats,\nShear the sheep... life's bucolic these days.", "id": 17611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The Bretwalda, Mercian King Offa,\nPoured scorn on the Welsh and did scoff-a:\n'If you don't like my dyke,\nYou can go take a hike,\nAnd you Cornish can just bugger off-a.'", "id": 17612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "In a typical country-life saga,\nAs he said (quaffing bitter, not lager),\nThe posh kitchen, no doubt,\nWould be empty without\nA big scone-cooking, bum-warming Aga.", "id": 17613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She was arm candy.  Both of us knew it.\nNo kissing.  No sex.  Nothing to it.\nWhen we enter a room\nLike young bride and old groom,\nIt's not my fault if you misconstrue it.", "id": 17614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "I'd bend over backward, and that is why\nMy favors for you are all gratis. I\nWill cater each whim,\nFill your cup to the brim,\nTill your every desire I satisfy!", "id": 17615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "My favourite composer is Byrd,\nWhich some may find faintly absurd\nIn this day and age\nWhen hip-hop's the rage,\nBut it's Byrd-song I've always preferred.", "id": 17616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She came home and collapsed in a heap.\nShe was bleary-eyed; nothing would keep\nHer from hitting the hay\nOn her very first day\nHome from college.  She needed some sleep.", "id": 17617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "We objected to what we'd been shown,\nAnd we forcefully made our views known.\nTheir minor concession\nWon't ease our aggression \u2014\nThey've thrown us a meaningless bone.", "id": 17618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "To make dirt in a wound go away\nWash with acrinol; you'll be okay.\nAs a final resort\nIt can also abort\nCertain pregnancies, just in a day.", "id": 17619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An M.I.T. grad, name of Jimbo,\nFor his sins was committed to limbo.\n\"I'm suff'ring,\" he cried,\n\"For I'm forced to reside\nWith a scatterbrained, sex-hungry bimbo!\"", "id": 17620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I don't want you to feel your toes stub \u2014\nBut you've served up a devilish flub.\nThat frame round the glass\nThrough which watch numbers pass\nIs a bezel, and not beezle,  Bub!", "id": 17621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Transposition trades places in text;\nWhile a juxtaposition puts next.\nBut \"insertion\", the station\nCalled interpolation\nIs between.  Are you fully perplexed?", "id": 17622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If your prose meets a dubious junction,\nShould you pause or press on? Such compunction!\nDon't let sentences roll on\u2014\nUse your semi; or colon:\nThe compliments form pays to function.", "id": 17623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "'Twas in June I came into this world;\nFrom the womb toward the tomb I was hurled,\nSo my birthstone, I find\n(Not a gem that's been mined)\nIs a pebble an oyster has pearled.", "id": 17624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blooms that he gave me were bracted,\nThough, in truth, that fact never detracted\nFrom the love he'd bestow,\nAs my botanist beau\nSpoke with flowers\u2014devotion enacted.", "id": 17625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The mother and dad of my spouse\nHave a bullmastiff, meek as a mouse.\nHe's serene as a saint,\nAnd a watchdog he ain't\u2014\nHe greets burglars who enter the house.", "id": 17626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "No matter your skill as a scout,\nThe BSA can keep boys out.\nIf you're gay, atheistic,\nDon't be optimistic;\n\"Be prepared\" to be straight and devout.", "id": 17627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Hollywood surgeon who fears\nHis technique isn't up to his peers'\nHas just issued this call:\n\"Cut-rate butt lifts for all!\nFriends and countrymen, lend me your rears!\"", "id": 17628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The adjective both has to do\nWith a pair or a couple or two.\nBut it's best to be loath\nTo use of after both.\n(That's a rule I thought both of us knew.)", "id": 17629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The Jungle Book names come from where?\nI don't know, and I frankly don't care.\nCan I tell you just one?\nIf you must have your fun...\nWell, Baloo is from Hindi for bear.", "id": 17630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Is this huge South American food fish,\nArapaima, a dominant brood fish?\nWhen he calls on his mate\nFor a freshwater date,\nDoes she ever play not-in-the-mood fish?", "id": 17631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We're flying at speeds supersonic\nBy means of machines avionic.\nIf they go on the fritz,\nIt spells trouble: our mitts\nAren't that fast without aid electronic.", "id": 17632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "For Aaronic we've Aaron to thank\n'Cause without him, the word's just a blank.\nAll the lexicons tout\nIt as Aaron-about.\n(Moses' brother, not Hammerin' Hank.)", "id": 17633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Breeks, knickers, plus-fours \u2014 what great riches\nOf words meaning \"breeches\" or \"britches\".\nThey're trousers that end\nNear the knee's knobby bend,\nWhere your stockings begin, barring glitches.", "id": 17634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "There's really no point in denying\nIt's air rage we're feeling while flying.\nSix hours on our butts\nEating nothing but nuts\u2014\nAnd that baby in back won't stop crying!", "id": 17635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "On my shelves, priceless screeds post-exilic\nJostle novels with plots imbecilic.\nI value them all\u2014\nOld and new, big and small\u2014\nI can't help it.  I'm bibliophilic.", "id": 17636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Ambilateral problems affect\nBoth your sides, left and right. I suspect\n(Since I've reason to doubt\nYou can tell when I shout)\nAnacusis is what I detect.", "id": 17637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though abrasive remarks we eschew,\nWe still need our abrasives\u2014it's true.\nVery quickly we find\nWe can't polish or grind,\nSand or smooth, if we lack what they do.", "id": 17638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I aver, I allege, I declare:\nI am innocent, truly, I swear!\nI make this averment\nIn hopes of determent:\nDon't kill me, 'cause I wasn't there!", "id": 17639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though I may take a tone professorial,\nI'm lacking pretensions authorial.\nNo great writer am I,\nJust an average guy.\nMy ambitions, though\u2014they're dictatorial.", "id": 17640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "An abolisher strives to be rid\nOf the habits and such we're amid.\n\"They're just wrong; status quo\nNeeds a change.  They must go!\nTheir continuance let us forbid.\"", "id": 17641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "I've not gone to a real aesthetician,\nThough to meet with one's surely my mission.\nThey evaluate beauty,\nBut will they get snooty\nWhen seeing my body's condition?", "id": 17642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Boards of nursing will promulgate rules\nTo regulate nurses and schools.\nWhile most nurses are wonderful,\nSome can be blunderful.\nBoards, then, protect you from fools!", "id": 17643, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Tomorrow's my sweet baby's bris.\n(That foreskin he'll surely not miss.)\nThe mohel'll be snipping;\nMy boy'll be yipping...\nI'll give him a hug and a kiss.", "id": 17644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Buzzed and dazzled, a jazzed paparazzo\nWhizzed\u2014Huzzah!\u2014by the Strozzi palazzo.\nDizzy, frazzled by drizzle,\nFuzzed and puzzled, fo' shizzle,\nHe zigzagged, afrizz, to Lomazzo.", "id": 17645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "He hides in the dark 'neath my bed\u2014\nJust the thought of him fills me with dread.\nNow I always say \"please\"\nAnd eat all of my peas,\nSo the boogeyman won't kill me dead!", "id": 17646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Here's a fact to completely astound\nAny reader who keeps books around.\nThere's a breed on this globe\nCalled the bibliophobe:\nThe mere sight of a book\u2014he's unbound.", "id": 17647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It's at sunrise that reveille's blown\nAnd the skills of the bugler are shown.\nWith no valves to rely on,\nHe's forced to get by on\nOne set of harmonics alone.", "id": 17648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Admonitions (mild cautions) are nice,\nFriendly warnings that urge thinking twice.\nBut a wrist can be slapped\nOr some knuckles get rapped\nWhen a gentle reproof won't suffice.", "id": 17649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "That aurivorous beast that I see,\nFast devouring doubloons with his tea,\nHas a plate on the table\nPiled high as he's able\nWith specie\u2014Swiss banker is he?", "id": 17650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Good order is kept on the street\nBy our keepers of peace, on their feet.\nPolice Constable Plod\nIs the likeable bod\nWho calls for respect on his beat.", "id": 17651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In Manhattan bodegas abound,\nAnd in Brooklyn they're highly renowned.\nYou can buy a tortilla,\nOr a case of sangria.\nOn the street corner's where they'll be found.", "id": 17652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow and Workshop", "limerick": "Constitutional rights now begin\nTo look alienable\u2014tenuous, thin.\nFind that hard to believe?\nWell, you're being naive!\nGuard your rights, or the terrorists win.", "id": 17653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "An architect came to enquire\nHow a church could be made a bit higher.\n\"Think big and have vision,\"\nI said with concision,\n\"The answer is simple: aspire.\"", "id": 17654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A binger and boozer, young Ben\nDrinks excessively, now and again.\nWhen tipsy on whisky,\nThe girls make him frisky;\nWhen giddy with gin, it's the men.", "id": 17656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This absorptiometer's cool!\nIt's an excellent chemistry tool\nThat can measure how much\nOf a steroid or such\nIs dissolved in your urine or drool.", "id": 17658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The pellets are loaded and rest\nIn a chamber; the air is compressed.\nWhen I pull on the trigger,\nThis air gun, I figger,\nWill aerate the crow in that nest.", "id": 17659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bobsledders push at the top\nAs they sprint to the edge of the drop.\nThen they zoom down the ice\nAnd ignore a device\nCalled the brake, 'cause they know they can't stop.", "id": 17660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Robert Blake (the detective Baretta)\nIn real life became quite upset\u2014a\nDefendant on trial\nFor the venting of bile\nThrough his gun, in a lover's vendetta.", "id": 17661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Through the water cnidarians wend\nUsing organelles\u2014arms that extend\nFrom their mouths, in a ring,\nAnd deliver a sting.\nWhat is safe? Their abactinal end!", "id": 17662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anabaptists: that radical sect!\nJust adults can be members, correct?\nThey embrace nonresistance,\nMaintaining a distance\u2014\nA strict church-and-state disconnect.", "id": 17663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's unable to blossom or bud\u2014\nJust a slouch on the couch. What a dud!\nA potato who's so\nAblastemic is Joe,\nMy insensate, inanimate spud.", "id": 17664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Anna Dipsia felt she was cursed:\nAnadipsia (abnormal thirst)\nHad struck her in Bali\u2014\nA German Svengali\nHad plied her with pretzels and wurst.", "id": 17665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "\u2022 These points are remarkably clear.\n\u2022 There's no dense clump of writing to fear.\n\u2022 Let me start a new line.\n\u2022 With a blob there, it's fine!\n\u2022 Have you learnt about bullet points here?", "id": 17666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Use blooming or blinking for bloody.\nEmploy it when life gets too cruddy!\nThen, good God Almighty,\nThose blighters from Blighty\nWill think you're a ruddy good buddy.", "id": 17667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "The tale of a cleric who cowers\nBefore the episcopal powers,\nWhere wives pack a wallop\u2014\nA dollop of Trollope\nIs tasty. Read Barchester Towers.", "id": 17668, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "May they fall down a bottomless chasm!\nMay their pain be perpetual spasm!\nMay they dangle from hooks,\nAll destroyers of books\u2014\nThey are guilty of biblioclasm!", "id": 17669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "My rickety clickety clock\nHas stopped ticking\u2014it's sticking\u2014take stock:\nBy the sound of the squeals\nThere are bats in the wheels,\nA wickedly flickery flock.", "id": 17670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Poor Harry was peppered with shot\n(Seems at safety, the V.P.'s not hot),\nBut at least 'twas for quail.\nStill, it's birdshot (in scale\nLess than buckshot) and thus pricked a lot.", "id": 17672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "On the eve of Zev's wedding, the guys\nThrow his bachelor party: Surprise!\nThey drink beer, leer at strippers\n(Who unzip all Zev's zippers),\nAs his bachelorhood speeds toward demise.", "id": 17673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Most radio broadcasts we hear\nAre hot air\u2014unimportant\u2014they're mere\nSame-old music and news,\nThen some deejay's blah views,\nAnd ads that get worse year by year.", "id": 17674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Can you cure my addiction, please, doc?\nI drink coffee non-stop 'round the clock.\nSince my need for caffeine\nAnd for sugar's so keen,\nI'll go broke with two Starbucks per block!", "id": 17675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Can you guess how the auk got its name\nAs a sea-diving bird of great fame?\nIt descends like a spear\nWhen krill clouds travel near;\n\"Auk! Auk!\" if it misses its aim.", "id": 17676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My wife's cooking, between you and me,\nIs not what I'd wish it to be.\nShe not only burns toast,\nCakes and meatloaf and roast,\nBut for breakfast she serves me black tea.", "id": 17677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Roberta's reluctant to share\nHer collection of clips, so beware\nIf you're thinking of making\nA hobby of taking\nHer bobby pins out of her hair.", "id": 17678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "For edge, what's a five-letter word?\nAn answer, uncommonly heard,\nIs board\u2014it's surviving\nIn seaboard, deriving\nFrom border. (I'm sort of a nerd.)", "id": 17679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The highwayman hoped to provide well,\nBut destiny didn't betide well.\nThe man he waylaid\nLed an armored brigade\nAnd they carried him off to the bridewell.", "id": 17680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A victim of serious burns\nFinds it painful whenever he turns.\nIn his search for relief\nFrom his torment and grief,\nFor an antipyrotic he yearns.", "id": 17681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"I know that a beer never fails me,\"\nSaid the lush. In a rush, he regales me,\n\"For calming my nerves\nThis slick homonym serves:\nI drink ale 'cause it's good for what ails me.\"", "id": 17682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My number one goal? This a test?\nIt's a fact that I'm driven to jest\nIn five anapest lines\nWith a limerick that shines.\nPrhyme Directive fulfilled, I can rest.", "id": 17683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"The Municipal Band's undermanned.\nOut of tune.  Out of sync,\" critics panned.\n\"They just can't play a lick,\nAnd they sound like 'mu-sick'.\nChange their name to Municipal Banned.\"", "id": 17684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "A butt is the object of jokes,\nOr the stub at the end of your smokes,\nYour bottom (or rear),\nOr the nudge of a deer\nWhen with antlers a tree trunk he pokes.", "id": 17685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Acidophilus (acid bacteria)\nIs in milk in our school cafeteria.\nIt's a drink not to slurp;\nIt made Wyatt go \"Urp!\"\u2014\nI'd much sooner devour some wisteria.", "id": 17686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A perverse and cantankerous old coot,\nWas my Pa, way out west there in Butte.\nSaid my Ma with chagrin,\n\"What I'm fer...he's agin!\nAnd so I'm anti-him, the ol' poot!\"", "id": 17687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Alack and alas!\" people sigh.\nThose words mean that something's awry;\nThere's a sorrowful plight.\nBut the saying's not right,\n'Cause a lack of a lass makes me cry.", "id": 17688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "He's a leftist, and always a gent;\nIt's a life of compassion he's spent.\nBut now that's he's old,\nHe is bowed, like a fold,\nAnd he's proud of his liberal bent.", "id": 17690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "His acknowledgement's so insincere:\n\"What a generous man he was, dear,\"\nOffers third-cousin Bill,\nWho then asks of the will\nAs he stands at my late husband's bier.", "id": 17691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The councilmen, all aldermanic,\nAre driving the townsfolk to panic:\n\"These women who revel\nAre serving the devil!\nAssail 'em or Salem's satanic!\"", "id": 17692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bread and circuses helped to forestall\nDiscontent, but what led to the fall\nOf the Empire at last\n(Roman, vaunted, and vast)\nWas a loss of the penchant to brawl.", "id": 17693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's an alderman suffering twits\nOn the council in Cork where he sits.\nWhile the younger ones doubt\nThey can figure things out,\nHe's an older man keeping his wits.", "id": 17694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nathan Howe", "limerick": "Hearken, criminal minds, to my rhyme:\nWhen eluding the law for a time,\nHave your thugs curl their tresses,\nWear earrings and dresses \u2014\nAccessories help with a crime.", "id": 17695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The piano has played many rolls\n(That's rolls, which are sort of like scrolls)\nOver time, with a Player:\nA famous purveyor,\nAeolian, made music with holes.", "id": 17696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Wrigley's Gum, never being outdone,\nMixed up pepper- and spear- mints for fun.\nThese two flavors so placed\nMade it biune in taste,\nAs Certs says: \"Two-two-two mints in one.\"", "id": 17697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "I am filling this space with a blank\nSince the piece that was here really stank.\nI will come back real soon\nBy the light of the moon\nAnd create one that others will rank.", "id": 17698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "In the Chilterns, the bodgers would rarely\nBodge a job \u2014 if they did it was barely.\n(They made chairlegs of beech,\nAnd I'm certain that each\nBodger checked that they all would fit squarely.)", "id": 17699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her sergeant said, \"Take these red hoods\u2014\nYou can catch that old wolf; get the goods!\nYou'll be fine undercover;\nJust don't let him discover\nYou're a cop, not some babe in the woods.\"", "id": 17700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "For me, this word's not academic,\nSo barge seldom feels polysemic.\nIt's just a long boat\nOn which live-aboards float\nIn response to needs ecosystemic.", "id": 17701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Townsfolk need to abbreviate in\nLlanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn-\ndrobwllllantysilio-\ngogogoch, but will go\nThe whole hog when the spring tours begin.", "id": 17702, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The new unisex angle from Prigg\nIs reviving the leaf of the fig,\nBut he's doomed his collections\nSince forward projections\nShow men are now growing too big.", "id": 17703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Miss Gush taught her girls an old trick\nTo learn poise (with the aid of a brick).\nTo her snobbish assortment\nShe brought \u2014 by deportment \u2014\nProud heads borne on necks grossly thick.", "id": 17704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Artificial intelligence, man,\nHas achieved the I.Q. of a flan.\nIt's a brainless fool who\nThinks that A.I. can do\nWhat his natural stupidity can.", "id": 17705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Mothers speak of the birds and the bees\nTo their children to put them at ease.\nMany sons aren't amused\nAnd sigh, \"Mum, you're confused \u2014\nYou should see Daddy's Penthouses. Jeez!\"", "id": 17706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When the waters are wavy an' bluey,\nThey find 'em a shoreline that's chewy,\nTake bites with their motion,\nDigest in the ocean,\nAnd spit up a barrier. Ptooey!", "id": 17707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you're thinking of breaking apart\nHeavy rocks into fragments, the art\nIs to strike them a blow\nWith a hammer, or so\nSaid the convicts, who knew it by heart.", "id": 17708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A bivvy bag (bivouac sack)\nTakes the place of a tent in your pack\nWhen you've mountains to climb,\nBut ain't wasting no time\nLugging canvas and poles on your back.", "id": 17709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Dahling! It's Charlotte! Yes, Char!\nYou remember\u2014Art History, yah?\nFancy meeting you here!\nQuick, a kiss past your ear\u2014\nIt's so lovely to see you! Mwah, mwah!", "id": 17710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "My witness protection is slack.\nSelf-assurance and patience I lack.\nIt all goes to show\nI am likely to blow\nMy cover, my cool or my stack.", "id": 17711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "It is strange what we hear in a name.\nForce of habit is, maybe, to blame.\nBreast of lamb we may eat.\nChest of lamb isn't meat,\nThough no doubt it would taste just the same.", "id": 17712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Do your flower beds look rather bare?\nGet some bedding plants\u2014show you have flair.\nIf you buy many boxes\nOf stocks, pansies, phloxes,\nThey'll believe you're a millionaire!", "id": 17713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "For improvement I have a great yearning\nIn the hope it will better my earning.\nEggs and bacon just last\nUntil breakfast has passed;\nMust try Bacon's Advancement of Learning.", "id": 17714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "The Britannic Queen Boadicea\nHad secret ambitions to be a\nGrand diva\u2014the rage\nOf the opera stage\u2014\n\"But Your Majesty! Just the idea!\"", "id": 17715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Without recognition,\" I fumed,\n\"My explorers club membership's doomed.\"\nThen I hit on a scheme\nFor attaining my dream:\nDr. Livingston's name I assumed.", "id": 17716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "\"Let me backtrack,\" she said, and restarted\nFrom the spot whence she'd recently parted.\nPast the neck, down the hump,\nStraight across to the rump:\nWith her boots, this masseuse ain't half-hearted!", "id": 17717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Some are tiny and some fairly tower\u2014\nSpathe and spadix in place of a flower.\nSmell an aroid, it's sweet;\nThen again, after heat\nIt may stink worse than roadkill gone sour.", "id": 17718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Red hot Yuri soon felt some regret:\nHe had married an ex-pat coquette.\nShe was not anti-Russian,\nBut every discussion\nShe ended quite forcefully: \"Nyet!\"", "id": 17719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "I determined my cash flow was leaking,\nSo I learned motivational speaking.\n\"Achievability Now!\"\nIs my program\u2014and how!\u2014\nFor I milk the cash cows who come seeking.", "id": 17720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Serenading a maid with my lute,\nI'd a sudden incentive to scoot\nWhen along came her pappy\nWith quite an unhappy\nExpression beneath his barbute.", "id": 17721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One who's bumptious is known as a pest.\nHe is loud and stands out from the rest.\nHe's intrusive and crude,\nSelf-assertive and rude;\nYou would never want him as a guest.", "id": 17722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His repute in the Congress? It sunk.\nHe spoke nonsense, but didn't seem drunk.\nMr. Walker said, \"I\nSpeak for Buncombe!\"  (That's why\nWe mean balderdash when we say bunk.)", "id": 17723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First time out, it was chancy to leave her\nHunting deer\u2014even trapping for beaver.\nWhen she sighted a doe,\nHow she quaked\u2014head to toe,\nAnd the guys shook their heads, \"It's buck fever.\"", "id": 17724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "So you won by a blowout?  That's great!\nThere's a blowout tonight?  I'll be late.\nSee, my tire just exploded\nWhile heavily loaded\u2014\nA blowout.  Well, maybe it's fate.", "id": 17725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I lighted your way to alight\nWith a lamp that you said was too bright.\nYou were blinded, no doubt,\nBut the flame is now out\n(Not alight).  You'll recover your sight.", "id": 17726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Alvar Aalto of Finland designed,\nUsing spirit and logic combined,\nMany things large and small:\nBowl and chair, home and hall,\nEach as rich and humane as you'll find.", "id": 17727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "I know aigre is sour or bitter.\nI learnt that from my French baby-sitter\n(He was handsome, I keen;\nBut I was just thirteen)\nWhen I made him my first apple fritter.", "id": 17728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Brace up! Though your troubles begin,\nThere's no use in a quivering chin.\nWhatever your part,\nIf you first can take heart,\nThere's a bit of this battle you'll win.", "id": 17729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "A list with a lot of omissions:\nTake for, through, until, and additions\nSuch as to, with, before,\nAway, hence and more!\nOur tongue's got a few adpositions.", "id": 17730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Alexipharmac: a poison preventive.\nFor a paranoid person, attentive\nTo poisoning plots\nAnd connecting the dots,\nThere is certainly ample incentive.", "id": 17731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In prescriptions, amounts are the same;\nAs a book, it's the anecdote game.\nUp in \u00c9ire, it invokes\nAn old goddess, but folks,\nOn our friends, Ana's only a name.", "id": 17732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "She kicks and she bites and she hits,\nAnd to get what she wants, she throws fits.\nShe smears food on the wall\nAnd leaves toys in the hall.\nIn short, her behavior's the pits.", "id": 17733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Absentminded! I planned in advance\nFor this big, huge event, took no chance\nTo flub.  Then, too much\nIn a rush, I made such\nA big goof by forgetting my pants!", "id": 17734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "To bury is simply to hide\nIn the ground what would stink left outside.\nSince our loved ones lie there,\nLet us hide them with care,\nAnd make sense of the reason they died.", "id": 17735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "The mad Doctor Ming was psychotic.\nThe brew he mixed up was exotic,\nWith lye and petroleum\n(A taste like linoleum!).\nIt left the Mad Doc alkalotic.", "id": 17736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Whether mosques of the Moorish Iberians\nOr the carpets of crafty Kashmirians \u2014\nWhen one wholly reflects\nOn artistic effects,\nOne will have an aesthetic experience.", "id": 17737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL and oneslowtyper", "limerick": "The nuns never let him write left,\nThough his backhand delivery was deft.\nHe's bereft of what's right.\nStill, the nuns seem uptight\n'Cause his writing slants left\u2014and with heft!", "id": 17738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "Annexational aims for a land\nThat had plenty of oil on hand\nBrought the move to invade\nBut no promised parade.\nThe results didn't turn out as planned.", "id": 17739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rich Ristow", "limerick": "As a bouncer you can't use your fist.\nFor when punks get too drunk or too pissed,\nYou must stop all the fights\nAt the end of most nights,\nBut not punch someone's face into grist.", "id": 17740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some annelids (earthworms and leeches)\nThat crawl in the sea and on beaches\nLack organs like gills.\nOh, the wonders and thrills\nYou receive when a limerick teaches!", "id": 17741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a bridgehead we made on the beach,\nAll our soldiers rushed into the breach,\nBut too many were felled\nAs the enemy held,\nSo our grasp was well short of our reach.", "id": 17742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The brickwork they're selling today\nComes in such an impressive array\nThat for finish and color\nThere's little that's duller\nThan simple adobe or clay.", "id": 17743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "She's as bright as a button, this lass;\nThere is nary a test she can't pass.\nBe it Latin or Greek,\nShe needs only a week,\nAnd she'll rise to the head of the class.", "id": 17744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "What a lovely new hairstyle you've sported!\nYour beautician has talents assorted.\nA vocation in beauty\nStill brings home the booty,\nBut most other work's been exported.", "id": 17745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the sausage works, grinders were fed\nA mechanic who'd keeled over dead.\nI said to a crony,\n\"That's wrong!  That's baloney!\"\n\"What's the wurst that could happen?\" he said.", "id": 17746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A friend's place is where you can blow in,\nLike that, uninvited, and knowin'\nYou'll get offered a drink\n(Even though he may think,\n\"I wonder how soon he'll be goin'?\").", "id": 17747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"He's an addle-pate, madam! A loon!\nHe's a bungler! A foolish buffoon!\n'Twixt his ears is but space,\nAnd of brain, not a trace!\"\n\"Did I mention we marry this June?\"", "id": 17748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's ahhhhh and there's aaaaah.  What's the diff?\nI'd say ahhhhh is appropriate if\nI am watching a slow,\nSultry striptease, although\nI'd use aaaaah!! if I fell off a cliff.", "id": 17749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Brecciation's the breaking apart\nOf a rock into fragments, the start\nOf a new brecciation\nThrough sedimentation.\nIt'd break a geologist's heart!", "id": 17750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "If you want a new law, draft a bill.\nIn the House they'll decide if it's brill.\nAs a matter of fact\nThey will make it an act\nIf it fits with their countrymen's will.", "id": 17751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "To make Stroganoff, start with some meat.\nThen dredge it in flour, and heat.\nAdd the mushrooms, cook through;\nThrow in sour cream too.\nThen serve over noodles and eat.", "id": 17752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "At academy, Plato was glad\nTo bestow all the wisdom he had;\nHe'd wax academic,\nEngaged in polemic:\nNow, both can be read as acad.", "id": 17753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "\"No depth!\" was her cause for rejection.\nNow the painter applies, as correction,\nA deepening haze\nTo obscure the eye's gaze.\nHe has learned atmospheric projection.", "id": 17754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Said Noah to one of his buds:\n\"I sure hope that my plans aren't all duds!\nI don't want to get caught \u2014\nI'm afraid that I've got\nAntlophobia; I'm frightened of floods!\"", "id": 17755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Said CEO Jeff to his minion:\n\"All I want is financial dominion!\nBut I fear that the books\nWill earn, for us crooks,\nAn auditor's adverse opinion.\"", "id": 17756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "There is now, in the town of Nairobi, a\nDiplomat bound for the Gobi (a\nDesert).  He's wailing:\nHe only fears failing!\nA case of true atychiphobia.", "id": 17757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "The term boorishness never agrees\nWith one who says \"Thank you\" and \"Please\".\nBut to one who is rude\nAnd uncouth and quite crude,\nIt applies with the greatest of ease.", "id": 17758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "To Adrianopolis, go\nAnd see Hadrian's city \u2014 although\nIt's been Turkish for years,\nSo on maps it appears\nAs Edirne (much more apropos).", "id": 17759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Configuration is called absolute\nWhen a molecule's chiral repute\nIs described in a name\nSo its structural frame\nCan be drawn without any dispute.", "id": 17760, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The bradawl's the awl you would choose\nTo make holes for your brads or small screws.\nFor that job, it's the match \u2014\nThe shoemaker's, scratch,\nAnd saddler's and scribe awl all lose.", "id": 17761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I can drive myself totally mental\nMelting chocolate with heat that's not gentle.\nTo that end, as you see,\nI've a new bain-marie.\nThey're quite costly, so this one's a rental.", "id": 17762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My nephew had asked about bud scale.\nHe thought it was kind of a suds-scale\nNamed for Budweiser beer.\n\"It's botanic, I fear\u2014\nGuards young buds.\" He replied, \"It's a dud scale!\"", "id": 17763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To bullyrag means \"to abuse.\"\nIt's the action that bullyboys choose\u2014\nGuys who see their own gain\nIn the other guy's pain\u2014\nIt's behavior we shouldn't excuse.", "id": 17764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "If we want to eat bread every day,\nThere's no doubt we must work for our pay.\nBut a few who repose,\nAnd all effort oppose,\nGet their bread and eat cake, if you may.", "id": 17765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If, when farming, you just have a baule\nOf a nutrient,  crop growth will stall\nAt one-half.  You might guess\nYou need two (more or less);\nThe yield boosts to three-quarters, that's all.", "id": 17766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "At first, she was shy and withdrawn,\nAbandoned, alone and forlorn.\nThen, encouraged and nourished,\nShe blossomed and flourished \u2014\nUnfurled like a flower at dawn.", "id": 17767, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Around me the Indians clustered,\nAs, full of bravado, I blustered.\nBut I trembled like jello\nAnd turned sickly yellow\nWhen a brave whispered, \"Paleface, you're Custer'd.\"", "id": 17768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "saranita", "limerick": "I admit my plan's not avant-garde,\nBut suppose your front lawn's looking scarred:\nTo get topsoil aerated\nAnd the thatch bed abated,\nHave earthworms released in your yard.", "id": 17769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "In this welter of blogs, all the stuff\nThat I find is pure fluff. What's so tough\nIs my trying to read\nMuch, much more than I need.\nIt's a surplus of more-than-enough.", "id": 17770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Hey look! An aleppo-type gall!\nNot an apple, 'cause (now I recall)\nIt's the home of a bug\nWho's a bit of a thug\u2014\nAnd it yields a most valuable haul.", "id": 17771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Accountableness will ensue\nWhen your actions are honest and true.\nBut a wordsmith Houdini\nFloats off like a genie;\nHow d'ya do it, Bill*? Give us a clue.", "id": 17772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "In ancient Asuka, Japan,\nLived the Abe, a prominent clan.\nThey built abedera,\nNone locally fairer;\nA temple to Buddha, their plan.", "id": 17773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Last year it was April in Paris,\nWhen she tripped up and showed us her aris.\nShe don't wear Alan Whickers\u2014\nYou guessed it, that's knickers.\nShe's a right cockney sparrah, my Clarice.", "id": 17774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "I'm Acanthophis, native to \"Oz.\"\nYou should leave me alone, just because\nI'm known as death adder;\nAs snakes go, none badder:\nOne bite and \"I am\" becomes \"was.\"", "id": 17775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "The ram spies a shapely young ewe\nLiking life in the glistening dew.\nHe can see she is lissome\nAnd sense she is blissom\u2014\nIn heat\u2014so it's time for a coup.", "id": 17776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "nplclio", "limerick": "Those barbershop songs are great things:\nA quartet or a chorus that sings\u2014\nTenor, lead, bass, and bari's\nClose harmony marries\nFour notes, and the chord locks and rings.", "id": 17777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "One bacillus said, \"Isn't it odd\nHow mine's a bacilliform bod.\nBut baculiform, too,\nCould describe me and you\u2014\nWe're both of us shaped like a rod.\"", "id": 17778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I am tortured by blistering heat,\nWith no shoes, in a world of concrete.\nThere's no victory won\nIn this harsh noon-day sun\u2014\nJust the agony felt in defeat.", "id": 17779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There are those who would stifle a voice,\nLike a Bowdler, who'd limit our choice\nTo some reading for sissies\n(A censored Ulysses).\nThank God we have freedom of Joyce.", "id": 17780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "This Averroes chap was quite keen\nThat the Stagirite's works should be seen.\nIn the West he was taught,\nAnd they said that he thought\nThat two truths that are true contravene.", "id": 17781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL and oneslowtyper", "limerick": "An assumable loan has a perk:\nSomeone's done all the tedious work.\nIf your credit's all set,\nYou can take on the debt\nOf a loan someone else tried to shirk.", "id": 17782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "poetinprogress", "limerick": "Union aliens had me abducted.\nBy their foreman, I then was instructed\n\"Write a greeting of peace,\nFor immediate release.\"\nSo a slogan I quickly constructed.", "id": 17783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "My ancestors liked to take shots\nOf nieces and nephews, and pots!\nThey all liked the tint\nOf an albumen print...\n\"So whose turn to shoot? Let's draw lots!\"", "id": 17784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Charles I, overbearing and vain,\nTreated people and peers with disdain.\nExecution loomed near\nIn his twenty-fourth year\u2014\nAnno regni\u2014the year of his reign.", "id": 17785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "I'm in hospital, what could be worse?\nOh, but listen! Loud moans, then a curse.\nDoes bedevilment lurk\nWith a devilish smirk?\nSurely does: it's the enema nurse.", "id": 17786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "We have recently suffered from theft.\nOf value we have nothing left.\nThey took grandma's clock\nAnd my favourite sock.\nOf the things that we like we're bereft.", "id": 17787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "When you've got something dandy to sell\nAnd others don't find it so swell\n(They just don't want to buy),\nThe advice I'd supply\nIs to advertise \u2014 hopefully well!", "id": 17788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and Robert Holland", "limerick": "Ancient Mitzvah the house cat was scared.\nFor a full thirty minutes she stared\nAt her place:  she's displaced\nBy a baby, disgraced!\nBoon or bane, today, Mitzvah's de-laired.", "id": 17789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Sister Clarence said, \"Isn't this fun?\nI've been given an alehouse to run.\"\nThe world was her oyster;\nThis gal from the cloister\nWas tapped as the greatest bar nun.", "id": 17790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A robber named Samuel Strouth\nWas sent to a prison down south.\nHis victims he'd pummel\nThen gag with a Hummel,\nWhich left a bad taste in the mouth.", "id": 17791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An adonic young fellow named Brad\nBanks his sperm as a surrogate dad.\nBiologically speaking,\nHe'll someday go seeking\nThe children he'll never have had.", "id": 17792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "A wise old bacterium, thriving\nIn acid, advised on surviving:\n\"To endure the sulphuric,\nBecome aciduric:\nEnjoy the pH without striving!\"", "id": 17793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks and Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"What's for breakfast? Some toast? Nah, too small.\nMaybe grapefruit?... too cold! It's the fall!\nWell, an egg?... yeah, not bad...\"\n\"Listen, Mom, what's with Dad?\"\n\"It's just Dad's breakfast waffle, that's all.\"", "id": 17794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "In New Brunswick, because of the tide,\nThis old draining technique was applied.\nThe aboiteau's use\nWas to drain via sluice,\nAnd the sea, by its gate, was denied.", "id": 17795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Its lines enigmatic and dim,\nAn amorph's a challenge to limn;\nThe things that we call so\nAre shapeless. (See also\nThe antonym: \"Basinger, Kim.\")", "id": 17796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "As head of this church I shall posit:\nArchpresbyters have their own closet.\nWhether bucket or flushed,\nThey are not to be rushed\nIn their Archpresbytery deposit.", "id": 17797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "If you're socked on the jaw in a bar,\nOr you drive off a cliff in your car,\nTo react with dismay\nIn a comic-book way,\nThere's just one thing to say, and it's \"Arrrghh!!!\"", "id": 17798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "To be or, perchance, not to be\nWas the question, he thought\u2014more fool he!\nFor, though Hamlet's a figment,\nHis fame (mighty big) meant\nHe's sure to outlive you and me.", "id": 17799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "So long to this bachelor's strife,\nAnd aloha, my Mauian wife!\nI'll be whiling the hours\nWith garlands of flowers,\nEnjoying the leis of my life.", "id": 17800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She was making an aquagraph print,\nUsing glass, but she needed to squint.\nSo I said, \"You need glasses!\"\nShe's slow as molasses;\nI'm glad she at last took the hint.", "id": 17801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"It's an aurated statue,\" I'm told,\nSo I bid on this figure of gold,\nBut I break down in tears\nWhen I find it has ears!\n\"I don't want it,\" I say.  He says, \"Sold!\"", "id": 17802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In your ad for a molar extraction,\nYou promised complete satisfaction.\nBut you broke off the root;\nIt was painful to boot.\nI would call it a bad faith transaction.", "id": 17803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word anthropotheism means\nThat the gods act like men, as in scenes\nOf the gods on Greek urns:\nDrink, seduce, fight, in turns.\nGuess today they would smoke and wear jeans.", "id": 17804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the bushland few people will settle.\nIt takes more than a knife and a kettle\nTo survive all alone\nIn the bush on one's own\u2014\nWhere the living's a test of one's mettle.", "id": 17805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The men's archery team\u2014it was fraught\nWith such problems! The coach, overwrought,\nWas petitioned to fix\nIt by adding some chicks;\nHe broad-mindedly gave it some thought.", "id": 17806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"You're a bubblehead!\" That's what he called me;\nI'll admit that the insult appalled me.\nThough I totaled his car\nAs I drove through Joe's Bar,\nDid he have to get angry? That galled me!", "id": 17807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "Acrotheca's an obsolete genus\nNow called Fonsecaea.  Between us,\nSome species, in doses,\nCause chromomycosis:\nI'd keep them away from your penis.", "id": 17808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We should think of ourselves as trustees\nOf the earth, of the air, of the trees.\nBiohazards hold sway\n'Cause the Bush EPA\nThinks the \"P\" stands for \"Profits\". Oh, please!", "id": 17810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Babylonia: long disappeared.\nBrilliant thinkers of old pioneered:\nAn eye for an eye,\nHanging Gardens and pi.\nBut counting by sixties was weird.", "id": 17811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "They're so many, we don't even try\nTo count all the stars in the sky.\nAnd every one sprang\nFrom a single big bang\n(Like you, dearest reader, and I).", "id": 17812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "\"This organ,\" says Bach, as he kicks it,\n\"It's broken? That's your ipse dixit.\nShould you mend it? First I'll\nCheck its musical style:\nIf it isn't baroque, we won't fix it.\"", "id": 17813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I am not good at badminton (yet) \u2014\nIt's a court game I just cannot get.\nSome day, I will crack it \u2014\nAnd not crack my racquet\nWhen shuttlecocks scud to the net.", "id": 17814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Not all fat reduction is neat,\nFor when collagen starts to deplete\nUnder some people's skins,\nAcrogeria begins\nAnd leaves wrinkles on hands and on feet.", "id": 17815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "When civilizations feel wary\nAnd enemies' violence seems scary,\nA fortress on high\nMay help them get by \u2014\nFor protection they build up an aerie.", "id": 17816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The beta type cells found inside\nThe pancreas islets provide\nThe insulin feed\nAs our bodies have need\nTo control just where carbs should reside.", "id": 17817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "This limerick neatly describes\nAlemanni, a grouping of tribes.\nThey fought with the Romans,\nBut heeded the omens\nAnd came to the cross (say the scribes).", "id": 17818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Agnizing's admitting you know\nA fact to be true even though\nYou really don't care,\nAnd that lie over there\nYou'd agnize, if some say that it's so.", "id": 17819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Ira Aldridge, black actor, played Europe.\nTwo near-Birmingham towns, brown as syrup,\nFormed a \"cross-the-Pond\" nexus.\nDoug Aldridge of Texas\nSpurs his horse with a limerick stirrup.", "id": 17820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I hear noises above; what's afoot?\nIt's a something that cannot stay put.\nYour guess may be true:\nThere's a bird in the flue,\nAs the hearth is now covered in soot.", "id": 17821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I have purchased a handsome young colt.\nThe cost caused my wife to revolt:\nShe lost her cool poise\nAnd expressed such a noise\nMy dear horse was determined to bolt.", "id": 17822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "It's naught but a trick of the light,\nSo you couldn't observe it at night.\nAnthelion's shining\nIs due to aligning\nOf sunshine and ice crystals bright.", "id": 17823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "It's a mix (mostly meat) in a skin;\nAn old car; or a firework's din.\nA banger can be\nAny one of those three,\nOr a madam enjoying her sin.", "id": 17824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "When the cops caught a thrill-seeking nun\nWho robbed banks with a gun that could stun,\nI read of her run\nFrom a bit in the Sun:\n\"One Stun-Gun Nun Fun Run Undone\".", "id": 17825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "\"Anthophobia,\" said Spider to Bee,\n\"Is the difference between you and me \u2014\nFor bugs, I'll wait hours,\nWhile you fly to flowers!\nThey just give me the shivers, you see?\"", "id": 17826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Don't complain that your mom was a whore,\nOr your dad made you sleep on the floor.\nWe will stress \"here and now,\"\nChange your actions. I vow\nI'm behaviorist, ma'am, to the core.", "id": 17827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Think I'm buck-passing? No, I am not.\nWhen you smooched me, I fumbled the pot!\nCalimari was dinner;\nTonight we'll be thinner:\nSquid's split\u2014eat your beans while they're hot!", "id": 17828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "I knew a young lady named Mary\nWhose consonants often would vary.\nHer v's were like b's.\nThen she got a disease.\nI inquired, \"Are you sick?\" \"Beri-beri.\"", "id": 17830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Did the Buddha's enlightenment flow\nFrom the earth? Did it grow from below,\nOr come dropping, I wonder,\nFrom the tree he sat under,\nA banyan (or bodhi or bo)?", "id": 17831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "There's the bumboat. It came from the shore,\nWith provisions and foodstuffs galore.\nWe can load up our ship\nFor our seven-week trip\nFrom this floating convenience store.", "id": 17832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "If you got on a monarch's bad side,\nThe bastille would be cursed by your bride.\nYou would cry to your wife,\n\"I will be here for life,\nOr until ol' King Tight-Ass has died.\"", "id": 17833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "When about my friend Al you have heard,\nYou might laugh and say, \"Please! How absurd!\"\nBut it's just as I say\u2014\nCheck the guy's DNA!\nAl O'Saurus gave birth to a bird!", "id": 17834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm alert, and with each shutter-click,\nI observe, and I don't miss a trick.\nI'll guard you sincerely,\nSo argus quite clearly\nApplies to both me and my Brick.\t", "id": 17835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The avian flu is upon us,\nAnd may be the scourge of ma\u00f1anas.\nAsking, \"Are we prepared?\",\nI hear, \"Yes,\" but I'm scared,\n'Cause I fear that our leaders will con us!", "id": 17836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My mom says I shouldn't say bust\nAs past tense of break...that I must\nSay it broke or it's broken.\n(Though sometimes when jokin'\nI'll talk of big busts with such lust!)", "id": 17837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In New York, where the Rangers play hockey\nAnd the governor's Mr. Pataki,\nThe drinks they once poured\nIn the pub would be stored\nIn a jug (from a gourd) called a bockey.", "id": 17838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bolt that is groovy abuts\nA circular hole, then it juts\nWith some wrenching or screwing\nRight through it\u2014undoing\nThe pervious nature of nuts.", "id": 17839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "From Bowdoin to State, we shall flee\nFrom Government Center and see\nAquarium, Logan,\nAnd Maverick; my slogan?\n\"The Blue Line: the best of the T!\"", "id": 17840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Near the hearth, where the vapors are blown\nIn a blast furnace, nestles a cone.\nIt's the bosh, which is matched\nWith the belly: attached\nOn the shaft, like a dog and its bone.", "id": 17841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The cricketer's famous for sticking\nThe ball where they ain't (known as wicking\nThe bore\u2014that's the spot\nWhere defenders are not),\nSo his flicking delivers a licking.", "id": 17842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "\"Now what do you mean, you don't sweat?\nIs it true, or a joke I don't get?\"\n\"I perspired... was hysteric...\nTook acid... agaric...\nAnhidrotic... which now I regret.\"", "id": 17843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Life's a bitch and a battle for some;\nYou work and you slave for a crumb.\nThe American Dream\u2014\nNot just peaches and cream.\nKeep on truckin' or wind up a bum.", "id": 17844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "My job's to keep guard over you;\nWhenever you're out, that's my cue.\nIf you get in a spot,\nYou know that you've got\nA bodyguard\u2014that's what I do.", "id": 17845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A backscratcher helps quite a lot\nWhen you itch in a difficult spot.\nI could do with one now\nBut the problem, somehow,\nIs her birthday's the one I forgot.", "id": 17846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Baker Street, 221B,\nSherlock Holmes battled crime on a spree.\nHolmes dug like a gopher.\nThe crook was a loafer.\n'Twas the baker, and ill-bred was he.", "id": 17847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a town with a whole 'nother layer,\nA lexicographical playa.\nThose Hawaiians love vowels\nMuch as lyin' on towels\u2014\nLittle wonder it's called Aiea.", "id": 17848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "To revive an old joke, it is best\nIf in limerick form it's expressed:\nWhat did L.A. cop Kelly\nExclaim to his belly?\n\"Hands up! You are under a vest\".", "id": 17849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There's a show on TV now, called Brat Camp,\nWhich features a ranch that's no fat camp.\nTeenage monsters, inflamed,\nAre remoulded and tamed\nBy wise cowboys. How parents love that camp!", "id": 17850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "We should smash every shield that's pro-white,\nAnd pro-black, for that's also not right.\nSo let's crack our warm jokes\nAbout any darn folks\nBecause humour's a source of delight.", "id": 17851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "I don't need a nanny or maid;\nThey won't fill the bill I'm afraid.\nMy assistant must share\nMy commitment and care;\nFor my aims are in need of an aide.", "id": 17852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Hello! I'm the new Doctor Who.\nWe've been here before, quite a few.\nI look different now,\nBut you'll know me somehow:\nI'm an antecedaneous brew.", "id": 17853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "You went crashing  head-first through the tent?!\nThat simply was not what I meant\nWhen in passing I said\nThat the shape of your head\nHad an aerodynamical bent.", "id": 17854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If you tell anybody, I'll cane ya,\nBut the cops in St. Claire, Pennsylvania\nSay my sweetie's a crook!\nShe steals book after book,\nSo acute is her bibliomania.", "id": 17855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many companies, often remote,\nDo their business by email or note.\nBrick-and-mortar concerns\nAre the firms that one turns\nTo for \"quote\" direct service \"unquote.\"", "id": 17856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "As an augur one's future you may view,\nThough if you see naught but one's grave, you\nCan take auger in hand,\nTo drill deep through the land,\nDown to China\u2014their cookies may save you.", "id": 17857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As the mountain air cools in the fall,\nHear the wapiti answer the call.\nThe bulls bugle and strut,\nIn this season of rut\u2014\nHe who's boldest will reign over all.", "id": 17858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The young daddy wants just the right toy\nTo bring home to his new baby boy.\nWith an ear-to-ear grin,\nHe can't keep it all in\u2014\nHe's just bubbling over with joy.", "id": 17859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "That figure is incomprehensible!\nI'm afraid that we've failed to be sensible:\nThis breakdown explains\nAll our losses and gains\nTo see if our spending's defensible.", "id": 17860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"It's the vitamin E, why I roister!\"\nShe replied, \"You belong in a cloister,\nSequestered from view.\"\n\"Have a bluepoint or two!\"\nSo she ate a few.  \"World, you're my oyster!\"", "id": 17861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There's a smile on my bold British bulldog\n(For the happiest dog is a full dog).\nLike a bigger-built pug,\nStout and proud, slightly smug,\nIt's a smooth-coated breed \u2014 not a wool dog.", "id": 17862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Thirty years on the job, then we're done.\nSell the house, say goodbye, gotta run.\nNow we travel and roam\nWith no place to call home.\nAre there cons to addressless-ness? None.", "id": 17863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I don't normally boast, but I'll claim\nThat I once had a close brush with fame,\nWhen I boarded the train\nTo an airport in Spain\nWith that singer... (oh, what was his name?)", "id": 17864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "There are nouns whose declensions are many:\nThey'd tote endings at twenty a penny.\nBut nouns without traces\nOf endings\u2014such cases\nAre aptotes\u2014aren't apt to tote any.", "id": 17865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "There are things that become more alluring\nAs with each passing day they're maturing.\nBonds are one; fine wines, too.\nAs for elderly you,\nWell... whatever you find reassuring...", "id": 17866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "Mary's parents expressed consternation\nWhen she majored in art conservation.\nThen they learned Art was wealthy\u2014\nAnd old and not healthy\u2014\nAnd bragged of her fine education.", "id": 17867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "At times, when I'm asked to opine\nOn Prime Minister Blair, I incline\nTo declare he's a bleep,\nBleep duplicitous creep.\n(But that's just when I'm feeling benign.)", "id": 17868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Kansas City is proud to embrace\nArthur Bryant's, a barbeque place.\nIt has short ribs to die for\nAnd brisket whose whyfor\nIs smiling with sauce on your face.", "id": 17869, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Hail to barleywine, beverage divine!\n'Tis the grain, not the grape, 'twill define\nThis thrice-potent beer\nBrewed for midwinter cheer...\nI'll opine that this \"wine\" I'd enshrine!", "id": 17870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Since her C-Section, Mary complains\nThat she aches every time that it rains.\nThere's no ointment or gel\nThat can quiet or quell\nHer abdominovaginal pains.", "id": 17871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The captain's abhorrent amenance\nCaused a backlash among his lieutenants.\nSee, he'd tend to abuse\nBoth his men and his booze...\nSo he's now in the brig doing penance.", "id": 17872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Addis Ababa rules Ethiopia.\nIt's high, so the roads up are slopier.\nRas Tafari, once crowned,\nBecame Haile, renowned,\nBut the Rastas will seldom elope here.", "id": 17873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When you meet with your buddies and gab,\nI do wish you'd try not to blab.\nYour friend-to-friend patter\nIs indiscreet chatter.\nI no longer think that you're fab!", "id": 17874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Amasiah: a captain of Judah.\nKing Jehosaphat loved to include a\nMan so compelling.\nThe king was just kvelling!\nWhat a mensch! He was noble as Buddha.", "id": 17875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My employer's overt incivility\nAmounts to abusive hostility.\nI would so like to clout\nThe old buzzard, but doubt,\nOn reflection, its advisability.", "id": 17876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Number eighteen is argon (don't yawn).\nIt's inert, so no compounds can spawn.\nSomeone opened the glass\nAnd let loose all the gas!\nNow all traces of argon are gone.", "id": 17877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Take two doubles, and add in one toil,\nAdd one trouble and bring to a boil.\nAft the Bard wrote Macbeth,\nHe would guard to his death:\n\"Which witch was his favorite goil?\"", "id": 17878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Elected amidst much intrigue,\nCheesy leadership, voter fatigue.\nEnsconced in the White House\n(So sure that's the right house).\nAs president? Strictly bush league.", "id": 17879, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Cumin, Basil! I'm making amends\nTo Rosemary, thyme anger ends,\nAnd to Herb, who's been chili,\nAnise poppy, sage Willie;\nI'm a man for all seasonings, friends.", "id": 17880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "As an appetizer, nachos were fine \u2014\nWe had chips, beans, and meat to combine.\nWhen I said to him, \"Please,\nWould you pass me the cheese?\"\n\"Nacho cheese,\" he said, \"This cheese is mine.\"", "id": 17882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "They aver, \"Money talks.\"  They don't lie.\nThe real affluent know this \u2014 here's why:\nSee, the rich and their dough\nGet to start with \"Hello,\"\nBut my paycheck just waves me \"Goodbye.\"", "id": 17883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's the bull that the cows try to woo,\nClumsy bulls in a china shop, too.\nThere's a bull from a pope,\nAnd pure bull from a dope,\nAnd a bull who's got gum on his shoe.", "id": 17884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Around and around and around,\nThere's simply no end to be found.\nUnchanging conditions\nFor all repetitions \u2014\nAround and around and around.", "id": 17885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's a beefy meal carnivores eat;\nA big steak makes their dinner complete.\nBut vegans hate beefy;\nThey much prefer leafy.\nThere's a mete; they'll not meet over meat.", "id": 17886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Holocaust, Auschwitz: Bad news\nFor Gypsies, for gays, and for Jews.\nMurdered by gas,\nBurned in ovens en masse.\n\"Never again,\" we must choose.", "id": 17887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Alcoholic? I drink like a fish,\nBut I'm sober whenever I wish.\nThough oft I have sipped gin,\nDenial's Egyptian \u2014\nUh-murr-uh-kin, thash whuddeye ish.", "id": 17888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When my classmates were answering roll,\nThey responded with \"Present\", each soul.\nUncreative repeating \u2014\nLike sheep with their bleating!\nWill no one yell \"Absent\"?  (How droll.)", "id": 17889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A teeny bikini? Oh my!\nThat swimsuit's a treat for the eye.\nWhy so sad, so bereft?\nIt's the prom dress you left\nIn the dryer three weeks, set on high?", "id": 17890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Boll weevils are cottony evils;\nTheir trips through the fields cause upheavals.\nTo get them to stop\nFrom destroying your crop,\nYou must get to the route of all weevils.", "id": 17891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "As the ark wanders storm-battered seas,\nNoah checks if his archive agrees\nThat the records still feature\nJust two of each creature.\nBut the archive contains only ... bees!", "id": 17892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A glamorous girl (she's a prize)\nGrew antennae that rose toward the skies.\nThose feelers were cute\nAnd quite useful to boot.\nSeems her aerials picked up some guys.", "id": 17893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My thoughts were so wretched, amiss;\nWould a shrink help recapture life's bliss?\nBut he messed with my head,\nSo I mooned him and said,\n\"I am sure you can analyze this.\"", "id": 17894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On Oahu, the lovely wahine\nLooks great in her flowered bikini.\nThis makes my heart sing:\nThat bikini is string,\nAnd ever so fetchingly teeny.", "id": 17895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The anti-infectives are used\nWhen the victim's poor body's abused\nBy multiple critters\nThat give me the jitters.\nDe-bug me!  I'm not so amused!", "id": 17896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I was nursing a terrible mood;\nOnly wanted to mope and to brood.\nThen my brood (I mean kids)\nBrought me beers, popped the lids.\nThey were brewed.  Cured my brooding.  I'm stewed.", "id": 17897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Oh, college-bound boy, whatcha doin'?\nBe careful which school you're pursuin'.\nBecome a Cal Bear;\nI'll be proud of you there.\nBut at UCLA? Road to bruin!", "id": 17898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "When you're rowed across harbour by gig,\nYou may think you're enormously big.\nThe crew backwaters hard\nWhen they're taken off guard\nBy the admiral sporting full rig.", "id": 17899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "One odd little atom was sad;\nHis friends called him perissad lad.\nBut according to Bohr,\nWith one particle more,\nHe'd be artiad, even and glad.", "id": 17900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "On a buddleia, butterflies might\nFlutter by, but a 'fly might alight.\nI called out to my bud, \"Lee, a\nBuddleia could be a\nBush in the cabbage white's sight.\"", "id": 17901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "The Moon makes a heavenly glide.\nFar along her ellipse she doth ride.\nWith the Earth at the focus,\nShe draws from her locus\nThe sea's apogean low tide.", "id": 17902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"That door has no zing \u2014 it's a bore,\"\nSaid my wife.  So I added a chore,\nScrawling anapest rhyme\n(Lines of five at a time)\nRound the frame \u2014 nicely limning the door.", "id": 17903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"You, the blonde in the bed, who let you in?\nIn you sneak, eat our breakfast, and ruin\nMy son's special chair!\"\nGrowled the storybook bear,\n\"Girls like you \u2014 always trouble a bruin!\"", "id": 17904, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Shall we dance?  Are you up for a birl?\nWould you care for a turn, twist or twirl?\nSince your kilt has no sporran,\nI assume that you're foreign \u2014\nTime will tell, if you give it a whirl\u2026", "id": 17905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When Matilda waltzed straight into town\nLike a queen of the highest renown,\nHer dress shimmered (sublime),\nAnd in three-quarter time,\nClear glass bugle beads swayed on her gown.", "id": 17906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "They say I like swinging the lead,\nBut that's not why I linger in bed:\nI'm conserving my strength\nTo review at great length\nWar and Peace\u2014and it's not even read!", "id": 17907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A nude skydiver jumped from Cape Horn\nAnd bemoaned the sad day he was born.\nWhen pressed for the reason,\nHe snivelled, \"The trees on\nWhich somehow I landed were thorn!\"", "id": 17908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "As he cycled in Lycra apparel,\nIt was stopping that thwarted poor Darrel.\nIn a desperate whirl,\nHe required a fit girl\nTo ride shotgun adjusting his barrel.", "id": 17909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "I am sailing in search of some cod,\nArmed with hook, line, and sinker \u2014 and rod.\nBut lacking a reel\nOr a handle, I feel\nA blank rod's blanking useless, by God!", "id": 17910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "It's an elegant form of support,\nLike an arch, although half an arch short.\nArc-boutant: flying forms\nGive support against storms\nTo the walls of a church or a court.", "id": 17911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "A bison's related to kine,\nBut for those who speak Cockney or Strine\nIt sounds like the basin\nFor washing your face in \u2014\nIn a cow? Maybe yours, but not mine!", "id": 17912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At the party I sought out my host.\n\"Do you think I could find me some toast?\nPlus tomato, and bacon,\nAnd lettuce? I'm makin'\nA sandwich that bests any roast.\"", "id": 17913, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I thought I should try to convey\nIn five lines (without seeming outr\u00e9)\nJust how much I enjoy\n(Like some kid with his toy)\nWriting limericks without using eigh.", "id": 17914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you have just a single butut,\nIt will not purchase very much loot.\nA single dalasi\nWon't buy much that's classy\u2014\nNot even a small piece of fruit.", "id": 17915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Busulfan can hit like an arrow;\nIts window of safety is narrow.\nIt's not for anemia,\nBut myeloid leukemia\u2014\nIt's used after transplanting marrow.", "id": 17916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "They say that our land's antidrug\n(Except for that drink in your mug).\nThis mad drug war is hell,\nWhere you can't even tell\nIf a soldier's the cop or the thug.", "id": 17917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "A bull terrier's anything but\nA great beauty. This ill-favoured mutt\nShows a shortness of leg,\nHas a head like an egg,\nAnd keeps his eyes practically shut.", "id": 17918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In the Fifties, Freed spun rock 'n' roll,\nAnd the big beat teens danced to had soul.\nWith its backbeat so strong,\nWhite kids grooved right along,\nBut some racists feared loss of control.", "id": 17919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Where to go in a nuclear war?\nTry a nuclear disco. In store:\nAs the Earth burned (see Dante),\nThey'd play Belafonte.\nApocalypso's the name on the door.", "id": 17920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Willy's wont to parade in the nude,\nThinks he's special, a really cool dude.\nThinks he's buff and so hot,\nBut the fact is he's not.\nHe affronts and his backside's (yuck!) lewd.", "id": 17921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Voluntarily simple, a nut\u2014\nI just live with essential stuff, but\nMy lifestyle ascetic\nIs good dietetic\nTechnique for reducing my gut.", "id": 17922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Real advances are great, bring 'em on!\nOn the other hand, some are the dawn\nOf big trouble\u2014disaster\nComes faster and faster.\nWish that A-bombs and such would be gone!", "id": 17923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "If in Scotland you see a strange cat\nThat you want to call over and pat,\nYelling \"Puss\" might not do;\nIt is better if you\nSee if Baudrons will answer to that.", "id": 17924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Umbrella plant, bog rhubarb, cap-\ndockin, butter-dock, bogshorns or flap-\nperdock. All are the same \u2014\nThough for butterbur, fame\nCame as Barliman, innkeeper chap.", "id": 17925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When I see that our rules have been breached\nAnd my sermon on evil's been preached\u2014\nDon't stand in my way,\nI've got demons to slay\u2014\nFor my boiling point's finally been reached.", "id": 17926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "\"Not every wee microbe is bad,\"\nSaid my nanny, \"Eat up and be glad\nThat the lacto-bacillus\nWill cure us, not kill us.\nSo finish that yoghourt, my lad.\"", "id": 17927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Now you're caught, you contemptible cad!\nApprehended red-handed, my lad!\nYour outrageous behaviour\nProclaims you a knave\u2014you're\nA beast, you're a bounder, you're bad.", "id": 17928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Two brothers decided to vary in\nLifestyle, though both were agrarian.\nJehovah preferred\nAbel's gift from his herd,\nWhich provoked the morose vegetarian.", "id": 17929, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Some artists are famously hard\nTo approach\u2014easy access is barred\u2014\nBut the soft-spoken man\nIn the railway guard's van\nWouldn't claim to be so avant-garde.", "id": 17930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I'm greatly attached to the hyph-\nen; you'll probably think that I'm trif-\nling, but splitting the syll-\nables, if it's done skill-\nfully, gives the verse rhythm and life.", "id": 17931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The goddess of love, Aphrodite,\nWearing naught but a Phrygian nightie,\nAsked the king of Dardania,\n\"Are you man for my mania?\"\nAnchises replied, \"Well... alrighty.\"", "id": 17932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The Five Boroughs have chutzpah to spare:\nThere's \"da Bronx\"; suave Manhattan has flair;\nA World's Fair held in Queens;\nBrooklyn's team-razzing scenes;\nStaten Island's the one over there.", "id": 17933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"What's for dinner?\" my children demand.\n\"It's delicious, sufficiently bland\u2014\nAubergine, and it's good!\"\nThen I pray, knock on wood\nThey won't notice it's eggplant that's planned.", "id": 17934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The Boston Tea Party's a spree\nBrought about by a boycott of tea.\nSons of Liberty chose\nAs disguise, Mohawk clothes,\nAnd these \"Injuns\" tossed crates in the sea.", "id": 17935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In China, the Boxers rebelled;\nUnder siege, foreign embassies held.\nTo relieve their legations\nIn Peking, eight nations\nSent troops: the rebellion was quelled.", "id": 17936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "College sports mean big money.  A team\nMust collect high-school stars, the real cream.\nTeams recruit the best kind,\nSince each blue-chipper signed\nHelps insure the success of their scheme.", "id": 17937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Be it school glue, epoxy, or paste,\nDuct or masking tape carefully placed,\nWhen affixing a piece of\nA sticky adhesive,\nYou'd be wise not to sniff or to taste.", "id": 17938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"At a breathtaking moment on stage,\nA white tiger escaped from his cage.\nAs the audience froze,\nThe magician arose...\"\nAnd I trembled while turning the page.", "id": 17939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If you're king of an oil-rich state,\nOr an empress, like Catherine the Great,\nWhen you visit D.C.,\nYour hotel will be free \u2014\nStay at Blair House; you can't beat the rate!", "id": 17940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"My bulldog is drowning!\" cried Lynne,\nSo a kindly old rabbi dove in.\nHe revived her poor pet,\nAnd Lynne asked, \"You're a vet?\"\nHe said, \"Vet?! I'm a-soaked to the skin!\"", "id": 17941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "I whispered to her, \"It is true \u2014\nI am helpless, don't know what to do.\nThe words that I fear\nTo breathe in your ear\nCan't be unsaid once said: I love you.\"", "id": 17943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I bought an old statue of Rustum,\nIn bronze, with a lot of aes ustum \u2014\nArtificially made\nBy means known to the trade:\nArt dealers? You just cannot trust 'em.", "id": 17944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "See that butterfly there? That's Ramon.\nGet a whiff of his special \"cologne.\"\nAndroconium scales\nScent the wings of the males,\nAnd the chicks will not leave them alone.", "id": 17945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Queen Bertha dressed nicely for court,\nBut her collars were prone to distort\nAny view of her cleavage\u2014\nSome tatting or weavage\nProvided her moral support.", "id": 17946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Quite heedless of danger, so bold,\nOur hero shipped out to find gold.\nAfter demons and harpies,\nAccountants with Sharpies\nWon't get what he has in his hold.", "id": 17947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "While casting for salmon, alas,\nThe angler could catch only bass.\nFor, despite his fond wish,\nThe anadromous fish\nSaid, \"This river's too warm, so I'll pass.\"", "id": 17948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "The wardrobe of Louis Quatorze\nAt Versailles covered several floors.\nHis skivvies, I'm told,\nWere brocaded in gold\u2014\nToo precious to wear out-of-doors.", "id": 17949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "When technology, mores, and war\nChange our lives from what happened before,\nAnd we've all made a turn,\nWill we prosper or burn?\nIt's a brave new world? Tell me no more.", "id": 17950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "His home, he thought, couldn't be snugger.\nA privacy snob? None were smugger,\n'Til he found that a snoop\nHad installed a whole group\nOf small mikes, and that made him yell, \"Bugger!\"", "id": 17951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Hunter safety's the course where you're taught\nHow to carry your gun when you're not\nTaking aim at a duck\nOr a seven-point buck\u2014\nLeave the breech open after each shot.", "id": 17952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I am breaking my rice bowl, that's it!\nI believe my complaint is legit:\nI am going berserk,\nMy new boss here at work\nIs a jerk and a twit\u2014Oh, I quit!", "id": 17953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I'm as blind as a bat without specs;\nIn my driving you see the effects.\nI may weave to and fro,\nBut I drive very slow.\nYet the DMV firmly objects.", "id": 17954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In my dreams, I attend M.I.T.\nThe professors all idolize me.\nIn all sports I excel\nAnd in romance as well.\nSuch is life for the B.M.O.C.", "id": 17955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A baby banana is sweeter\nTo the typical yellow fruit eater.\nWhile it's true you may find\nA more flavorful kind,\nIt's not likely there's any petiter.", "id": 17957, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On that beautiful lake, then his own,\nLived his beautiful, grasping young Joan,\nWith her beautiful friends\nAnd his beautiful Benz.\nUgly Spiro's now broke \u2014 and alone.", "id": 17958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I lent you my car, you're aware,\nOn condition you'd give it great care.\nI must air out my Ford\n'Cause it reeks now!  Good Lord,\nWere you smoking your gym socks in there?!", "id": 17959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A fisherman friend, name of Matt,\nKeeps a limerick attached to his hat.\nThis word's definition:\n\"A hook used for fishin'.\"\n(I'm betting you didn't know that!)", "id": 17960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Sclerosis of arteries means\nYou're skipping your peas and your beans;\nInstead, it's the meats\nOr fatty-filled treats.\nYou can't even put on your jeans!", "id": 17961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My brother's a terrible tease;\nHe takes all my things with no \"please.\"\nHe's a brat on attack!\n\"Now, give me that back!\nI'm gonna tell mom on you...geez!\"", "id": 17962, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A Jew, on day eight, feels a snip,\nAnd we hope that the mohel won't slip.\nWhen you're holding a bris,\nYou should not be remiss \u2014\nAlways offer the mohel a tip.", "id": 17963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Here's a riddle for you, guess the catch:\nWhat's single but also a batch?\nIt's time to confess.\nDid you think, as a guess,\nThat it's bachelor? Natch, it's a match.", "id": 17964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You'll, er,  see at most any museum:\nExhibits. Before you, uh, see 'um:\nThe, ah, staff has defined\nAccession numbers assigned.\nLike a one, and, er, two, and uh, three um.", "id": 17965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The Brits might use bitty for small,\nDescribing an elf who's not tall,\nVermouth for martinis,\nOr itsy bikinis.\n(Don't call your man bitty at all!)", "id": 17966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Our daughter's a big legal star:\nShe's passed the exam for the bar!\nShe now is judicial,\nAnd truly official.\nThey'll pay her to argue and spar!", "id": 17967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Birds of paradise come from New Guinea,\nAnd the tail of the male's long and skinny.\nBirds of paradise, too,\nGrow in Africa; you\nWon't confuse them unless you're a ninny.", "id": 17968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Josh Randall hunts men for a price.\nKeep him off of your trail's my advice.\nBy the bounty he's led \u2014\nCold, hard cash for each head,\nEither Dead or Alive will suffice.", "id": 17969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Time flies like an arrow, you see,\nAnd it ripens the fruit on the tree.\nFruit flies like a berry\u2014\nBarbados's cherry\nIs tops in the field, flies agree.", "id": 17970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "The minotaur there by the door\nWelcomes tourists, who come by the score.\nEvery guest must adapt\nTo survive, or be trapped\nIn the labyrinth under the floor.", "id": 17971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "The old postage stamp blushed and cried,\n\"I'm embarrassed!  My naked back side\nIs no longer sticky.\nAh, life's just a quicky!\nAdhesively speaking, I've dried.\"", "id": 17972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "Living blood is a colourful hue,\nIf you bleed you will see this is true.\nCorpuscles are red\n(And white, it is said),\nBut blood Royal is most certainly blue!", "id": 17973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Down the hall there's a hound dog who's baying;\nIn the yard an old donkey is braying.\nMy whole clan's at the door\nShouting, \"Angus! No more!\"\nNow I can't hear the bagpipe I'm playing.", "id": 17974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "All the vinegars (being specific)\nHave \"mothers,\" with traits acidific.\nThey can turn your home brew\nInto vinegar too,\nWhich I think you'd find pretty horrific.", "id": 17975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Braunschweig (\"Keep quiet now, Brown!\")\nIs a town of long-lasting renown:\nBoth for technical science,\nAnd a Lion's alliance\nWith the owners of Britain's old crown.", "id": 17976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A banker's acceptance, a debt,\nIs a guaranteed profit, you bet.\nIf the debtor defaults,\nThen the bank and its vaults\nMake it good (so let George Bailey fret!).", "id": 17977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Keep your shirt on, be cool, and don't panic;\nKeep calm, in control, and not manic.\nEach beet used must be\nBug and chemical-free\u2014\nYes, the borscht you just slurped was organic.", "id": 17978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a sailor who's cheerful and gay,\nEffervescent and bouncy today.\nI'm so buoyant I float\nFrom the dock to my boat,\nWhich I'll note is named \"Wankers Away!\"", "id": 17979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"If you find a good page as you browse,\nYou will find that a bookmark allows\nYou to find it again.\nWhen you find the page then,\nYou should find it's the same.\" (And he bows.)", "id": 17980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Some wood that's attached by a string\nTo a latch is a marvellous thing.\nIf to enter you're hopin',\nA bobbin will open\nThe door, with a tug and a swing.", "id": 17981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The satisfied smuggler was gloatful;\nHis clangorous clamor was throatful.\nHe'd come from the pier a\nRich man, from the lira\nExchanged for madeira, a boatful.", "id": 17982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I swore at my chores, saying 'S bores,\nWhich alluded to Jesus's sores\nThat bored into his skin.\nIt's a curse with a twin,\nKnown as zounds, or God's wounds\u2014want s'mores?", "id": 17983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My babyhood, swaddled in cotton,\nIs gone; but my dad's not forgotten:\n\"A baby's a bit\nLike a bottomless pit\nAttached to a pitiless bottom.\"", "id": 17984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the bleak, blank despair of my room,\nMy mind weaves a scent of perfume.\nI so long for the spring-\ntime that pulls my heart's string:\nI'm nostalgic: Bialystok in bloom.", "id": 17985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There once was a fellow from Leemouth,\nCatching fish in Champlain, said, \"It seemeth\nThese fish be quite small,\nLess than forty pounds, all;\n'Twould be better to catch that behemoth.", "id": 17986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From their perches atop ladders tall,\nFathers chatted on matters quite small.\nHere's what Mr. Jones penned,\nTheir bilateral end:\nOne must never dismantle the wall.", "id": 17987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My brown eyes are softness profound;\nThe depths of her brown eyes, renowned.\nMy dad, seeing Baby\nWas blue-eyed, said, \"Maybe\nThat's good: not the other way 'round!\"", "id": 17988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "\"That night in the inn, when I hauled\nFrodo up, I was frankly appalled;\nNow he's getting to be\nQuite a hobbit with me . . .\"\nIs that Aragorn, palely enthralled?", "id": 17989, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Are you having a bout of the blues?\nSeeing life through miasmas of booze?\nDon't give up, don't go felo-\nde-se; find your halo!\nAura therapy's what you can use.", "id": 17990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Torch the paint on my porch,\" said my dad\nTo the painter's louche labouring lad.\nThere ensued a commotion\nAs Dad, with emotion,\nBoomed, \"NO! NOT MY PORSCHE! ARE YOU MAD?\"", "id": 17991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A swimmer embarked on a quest\nTo discover which stroke she liked best,\nSo her coach, with his hands\nStroking muscles and glands,\nShowed the stroke she liked best was the breast.", "id": 17992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "An alternative comedy rota\nFor the '80s non-Thatcherite voter:\n\"People's Poet\" Rik Mayall,\nBen Elton, and Sayle\n(\"'Ullo John, you gotta new motor?\").", "id": 17993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I've gone backpacking, thoroughly sauced,\nSo I'm backtracking, thoroughly lost.\nSince the weight of that pack\nCaused a crick in my back,\nI need back-cracking quick. Hang the cost!", "id": 17994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A willow bark vendor named Steve\nHad a pain he aspired to relieve.\nNow he's drawn his last breath\u2014\nSad to say\u2014bled to death\nOn a splinter of bark, I believe.", "id": 17995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"To be quick at addition,\" said Brad,\n\"Was the only ambition I had,\nSo I'd speedily come\nTo a plausible sum\u2014\nWhich was wrong, I should hasten to add.\"", "id": 17996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're a skeptical soul, Doubting Thomas,\nBut my story is truthful, I promise.\nSome explorer named Marx,\nTouring African parks,\nShot an elephant, wearing pajamas.", "id": 17997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My yoga class seeks to explain\nHow to ride on a spiritual plane.\nBut my real life intrudes,\nSoon disrupting my moods:\nThis plane's attitude's hard to maintain.", "id": 17999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The time-line I'm living within\nDisappears when my mem'ries stretch thin.\nThough I seem to endure,\nCan I sleep and be sure\nI'll awake in the very same skin?", "id": 18000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks and mephistopheles", "limerick": "She's a butterfly girl, so she skitters\nFrom task to distraction. She flitters\nWith bright eyes aglitter\n(I'm tempted to hit 'er)\nAnd jitters and twitters and titters.", "id": 18001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The tribes of the Berbers once spread\nOver all from Sahara to Med.\nIn the Muslims' great quest\nTo push far to the west,\nTheir vast army by Berbers was led.", "id": 18002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and SheilaB", "limerick": "It's a pity your patter fell flatter\nThan a pancake, but here was the matter:\nAs a chef on TV\nYou should never agree\nTo use seal cub puree in your batter.", "id": 18003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and SusanL", "limerick": "When the bughouse is swarming with bugs,\nIs the patient, sedated by drugs,\nHapp'ly shooting the breeze\nWith the spiders and fleas?\nOn his haziest days, he just shrugs.", "id": 18004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "You've no gown for the ball, so you're blue?\nGot no carriage, and nary a shoe?\nWell, your lot's not so tragic.\nI'll help you\u2014with magic!\nNow... Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!", "id": 18005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "William Minor, of Broadmoor Asylum,\nHad dark dreams in which girls would beguile him.\n\"Oh, these dreams have so got to me\nThat an autopeotomy\nIs the only way I can exile 'em!\"", "id": 18006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Grrl Power: The Show is a hit\u2014\nIt sparkles with drama and wit!\nSo I cried out, \"Bravo!\"\nBut the star said, \"No, no\u2014\nIt's brava, you misogynist git!\"", "id": 18007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "My garden's a home for odd pottery,\nAntiques someone won in a lottery,\nAnd glitz that we've bought,\nAnd it serves as, God wot,\nAn example of simple godwottery.", "id": 18008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Stop your fawning, my deer, and I'll start\nBuying anise and mace by the cart.\nIt will spice up the rill\nWhere you lap up your fill.\nI'll say, \"Zing! Went the springs of my hart.\"", "id": 18009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Lake Constance or Bodensee's long\nBeen the \"Swabian Sea\", but that's wrong:\nGermans, Austrians, Swiss\nOn its banks live in bliss,\nIn a region that's culturally strong!", "id": 18011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In the convent of St. Francis Xavier,\nThe nuns are awaiting the Saviour\nAnd kneeling to pray.\nSociologists say,\n\"Look \u2014 that's acting collective behavior.\"", "id": 18012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A blood sport is one where there's killing,\nLike hunting (which some folks find chilling).\nBut when culling some pest,\nThen surely it's best\nThat it's done by those finding it thrilling.", "id": 18013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's surrounded by beautiful beaches,\nAnd a look on the map quickly teaches:\nThis sea's not a menace\nFrom Corfu to Venice,\nWhere its largest diameter reaches.", "id": 18014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I protest, I fast and I clean\nUp the coastline, and from these I glean\nA professional tag:\n\"Activism's my bag.\"\n(And in case you can't guess, I left lean.)", "id": 18015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "With a broom he creeps up to the boardroom,\nWhere the carpet is woven in broadloom.\nIts gargantuan size\nBrings a tear to his eyes:\nTo the janitor's mind it's \"abhorred room\".", "id": 18016, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Tom Hewins delivered my 'bent;\nIts arrival was quite an event.\nNow I cycle in style,\nWith a song and a smile;\nI'm so glad that's the way that I went.", "id": 18017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If you see that my face is agrin,\nWith a smile nearly splitting my chin,\nThen it surely is clear\nThat I have some fine beer \u2014\nAnd my drinking's about to begin.", "id": 18018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Special growth cells give acrogens punch,\nThough these plants are a flowerless bunch.\nFerns and mosses we see\nAnd some liverworts.  Gee,\nThat reminds me it's time for my lunch.", "id": 18019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Maladaptive behavior is due\nTo conditioning gone quite askew.\nTo change undesirable\nInto something inspirable.\nB-Mod therapy might be for you.", "id": 18020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some phobics come under arachno-,\nFrom spiders who creep on their back. No,\nIt's fear not of war,\nBut of crawlers galore\nThat these sufferers under attack know.", "id": 18021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Scottish bothies were huts or small sheds\nWhere the ploughmen were given rough beds.\nPoorly lit, seldom clean,\nThey were setting and scene\nFor fine songs from the laborers' heads.", "id": 18022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "You suffer from avascularity?\nNo offense, but I doubt your sincerity.\nWith no vessels for blood\nYour whole body's a dud,\nAnd you won't pass your genes to posterity.", "id": 18023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "For my bioclimatic research,\nI will set off the sprinklers in church.\nThen I'll monitor you\nRunning wet from the pew,\nAnd the dripping priest left in the lurch.", "id": 18024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "A brownnoser, simply defined,\nIs someone who's rather inclined\nTo speak words that ring hollow,\nTo fawn and to follow,\nSo he's often seen kissing behind.", "id": 18025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I stop at the \"T\" in distress;\nNorth or south? Flip a coin, more or less.\n\"Kingston,\" one arrow reads;\nSays the other, \"To Leeds,\"\nSo I can't go to Catskill, I guess.", "id": 18027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My braid Scots is peculiar, you say;\nI don't speak in the usual way.\nYe're not a' wrang, I grant,\nBut it's backwart, your rant,\nFor the standard has gane aff agley.", "id": 18028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I keep my sand fenced out of reach;\nI charge sunbathers twelve dollars each\nFor a luxury spot\nOn my oceanfront lot.\nYou'll admit I'm one son of a beach.", "id": 18029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "All the airplay you get will add up:\nSoon the royalties top up your cup.\nCount the times your song's played\nAnd make sure you get paid;\nPay your \"dues\" and they'll see that you sup.", "id": 18030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A botanist studies the ways\nThat a plant is deserving of praise:\n\"See that mesh of racemes?\nIt is part of God's schemes,\nFor He works in wisteria's maze.\"", "id": 18031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Antiliterate views are a blight.\nThere are black kids who think it's all right\nTo shun education.\nThe stagnant, low-station\nResult, they say, beats \"acting white.\"", "id": 18033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "I always take blankie with me,\nWhile sleeping or climbing a tree.\nMy mom calls it \"schmatte\" \u2014\nA rag with a lotta\nWorn edges and tatters, you see.", "id": 18034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Your doc by mistake has excised\nThe lenses your eyes have so prized.\nYou now are aphakic,\nAnd surely you may kick\nThat surgeon\u2014who's awfully despised!", "id": 18035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "When movement's not under control,\nYou can't rock to the music or roll.\nWe call it apraxia;\nIt surely will tax ya.\nThis condition is not very droll!", "id": 18036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "In his break-dance, he's down on the floor.\nHe's an acrobat. Rap music's for\nAll those moves he can do!\nHow we wish we could, too,\nBut we can't\u2014so we hope he'll dance more.", "id": 18037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "All those chemical changes were done\nWithout life taking part in the fun.\n\"Abiotic is best!\"\nAll the non-life professed,\n\"When you're dead, we'll have only begun.\"", "id": 18038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Bed and breakfast's the thing when you need\nA nice lodging when traveling. So heed\nMy advice. You might save\nSome cash. If you crave\nMore home comfort, you'll score some good feed.", "id": 18039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My father, who sits on the bench,\nFinds judging is often a wrench:\n\"What harm's prostitution?\nA fine's no solution...\nLet's pardon this well-bosomed wench.\"", "id": 18040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "At St Andrews, the young bejantines\n(First year girls) were all wannabe queens.\nThey would hang around Wills,\nWearing plunge tops and frills,\nIn pursuit of royal jeans and royal genes.", "id": 18042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Smearing bird-lime on trees is a crime:\nBirds get stuck in the sticky glue slime.\nCockneys, rhyming this word,\nKnow that if they do bird\nThen it's prison for them, doing time.", "id": 18043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "See my girls (what a beauteous bevy!) \u2014\nNicely curved, not too slim, not too heavy.\nThis bevy of beauties\nCan do household duties!\n(If you marry, expect a small levy\u2026)", "id": 18044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I would marry the fair Atalanta,\nBut my sprint is no match for her canter.\nAs my parents once said,\n\"Better not lose your head\nTo a fast woman \u2014 stick to lewd banter.\"", "id": 18045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When news from the networks you gather,\nFor your anchor which one would you rather?\nCNN's, ABC's,\nNPR's, MTV's?\nOr conclude that it's all simply blather?", "id": 18046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Wise Athena was birthed from the head\nOf her father, idea-like. Instead\nOf a Mom, she had Pop,\nBut that sure didn't stop\nThis Greek Goddess of Smarts, so I've read.", "id": 18047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "That's so awesome, so totally cool;\nYou da man, boy, you def'nitely rule!\nOutta sight, you're a trip;\nIn my book, you're so hip\u2014\nYou're the tops, babe\u2014you're nobody's fool!", "id": 18048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "So American, eggs and crisp bacon\nWith coffee and toast when I'm wakin'.\nOnce I've broken my fast,\nOff to work. How'll I last\nWith my spirit (and back) also breakin'?", "id": 18049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To be able: achieve what you set\nOut to do; to have know-how; to get\nWhat you've planned to work out.\nIt's a great thing, no doubt,\nBut there's no guarantee on your bet.", "id": 18050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "North of Clyde and of Forth, there they dwelt,\nIn this realm, auld, the Pict, and the Celt.\nFair was  Alban of name,\nAnd so, much to their shame,\nBefore Sassenach Kings they soon knelt.", "id": 18051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "My daughter adores chocolate cake.\n\"Lots of brownies, oh Daddy, please bake.\"\nThough a girl-guide she's not,\nWhen she's scoffed the whole lot,\nShe's a browny-faced girl, no mistake.", "id": 18053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The chef is preparing some tarts\nFilled with veggies and venison parts.\nThe cardoons get a grind,\nThen he cuts up a hind.\nHave a taste of his artichoke harts!", "id": 18054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "We were hunting and Bob shot a deer.\nWe turned back toward the lodge for a beer.\t\n\"It's not heavy,\" I said,\n\"So, Bob, you grab the head\nAnd start walking \u2014 I'll bring up the rear.\"", "id": 18055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "You can't recklessly roll in the hay!\nIt's tradition that you have to pay\nUs a bride-price to wed her\nBefore you can bed her.\n(Then you're stuck\u2014you can't send her away.)", "id": 18056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A bedchamber's what it would seem:\nA place one can sleep, perchance dream,\nOr taste the delights\nThat fill up the nights\nOf couples from Kansas to N\u00eemes.", "id": 18057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A sudden leap forward, perchance . . .\nAn epiphany or an advance . . . .\nA breakthrough \u2014 Eureka! \u2014\nIn Rome or Topeka\nCan make you exclaim, sing or dance.", "id": 18058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Your anklebone gives you the chance\nTo pivot your foot when we dance.\nIt's often concealed,\nBut sometimes revealed\nWhen you're sockless \u2014 I love Capri pants!", "id": 18059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A painter, who wore a beret\nSo artily, said in this way,\n\"Ladies!  Gents!  Look at me \u2014\nI'm an artist, you see!\"\nThe effect was quite artless, I'd say.", "id": 18060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a notice arrives in the mail\nAnd I'm asked to appear without fail\nAt an audit, no less,\nBy the dread I.R.S.,\nIt's no wonder I quail and grow pale", "id": 18061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I'm amazed at the seeming facility\nShown by hucksters with verbal agility\nWho can make me believe\nWhat they will \u2014 they perceive\nMy acceptativeness (gullibility).", "id": 18062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I grinned as I happily chewed\nOn some meat and potatoes I'd stewed,\nFor I'd cooked them myself\nFrom this book on my shelf\u2014\nBromatology: treatise on food.", "id": 18063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "All those guys at the bathhouse, I swear!\nAt my push-up bikini they stare,\nThen give cheers of hurrah\nWhen I open my bra,\nFor my bosoms are naked and bare.", "id": 18064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I'm just crazy for daisies, aren't you?\nThey're so calming, and beautiful too.\nIn my window-sill box I\nHave plenty of ox-eye \u2014\nI swear on my bozzoms it's true!", "id": 18065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "A knight put his armour to bed,\nLeft on horseback to paint the town red,\nGot to town, and then chanced\nOn a foe and got lanced \u2014\nSo now he's out painting it dead.", "id": 18066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I'm not part of the wondrous elite,\nBut I do have a talent that's neat.\nNeither hero nor god,\nI'm a branchiopod\nAnd can breathe through the gills on my feet!", "id": 18067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "When attempting to make an incision\n(Like a surgical tissue-division),\nAcusectors are great.\nThey're electric! First-rate\nFor achieving the utmost precision.", "id": 18068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Your incredible lack of finesse\nHas decidedly failed to impress.\nI can see in your eyes\nThat you're selling me lies\nAnd ebulliently talking BS.", "id": 18069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "This verse gives a sound defin\nOf this type of poetic om.\nIt's an apt illustr\nOf good applic.\nYou'll find it a fine expos.", "id": 18070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "If you're running a cunning affair,\nLike deceiving or thieving, beware!\nYou're not slick as you think,\nFor as quick as a wink,\nYou'll be sailin' to jail in despair.", "id": 18071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Alt+F4 is a keyboard command:\nFirst hold Alt down with thumb of left hand,\nThen tap quickly (don't linger)\nF4 with a finger \u2014\nYour window will close, just as planned.", "id": 18072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "American Gothic is good.\nIt's a painting by Mr. Grant Wood.\nIn the fourground it has\nTwo old farmer types as\nOut in front of their farmhouse they stood.", "id": 18073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Making \"chemical light rays unite\nIn one focus.\" That doesn't sound right.\nAmasthenic phrased thus\nIn his tome informs us\nThat old Webster knew little of light.", "id": 18074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Abdominal reflexes, fickle,\nWill jump in response to a tickle.\nBut your tum, it won't twitch\nIf you scratch your own itch\n(Unless you're employing a sickle!).", "id": 18075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Once vinyl LPs thrilled the ears\nOf folks now advanced in their years.\nThen came albums on tape,\nThen CDs; now their shape\nIs electrons: some download from peers.", "id": 18076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Not since great-grandpa Jack was last seen,\nWas a redhead with limbs long and lean\nRelated to us,\nAtavistically thus;\nMy brother has Jack's build and mien.", "id": 18077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Aneretic prescriptions are scary.\nThey're destructive. How much? Perhaps very.\nIf we take one, what dies?\nWill it cause our demise?\nTake the pill if you must, but be wary.", "id": 18078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though our bard's Western Saxon was lispy,\nHis voice growing will-o'-the-wispy,\nThe tale became plain:\nThat a dragon was slain,\nAnd that Beowulf ended up crispy.", "id": 18079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On my bobbery horse I turn back.\nSince I'm cursed with  a bobbery pack\nFull of mongrels (not hounds)\nAnd a steed that confounds,\nIt's no wonder the hunting was slack.", "id": 18080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Alimentative food is the best,\nSince it nourishes, unlike the rest\nOf the junk that I eat\n(Though that junk can taste sweet),\nBut with luck even junk will digest.", "id": 18081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The bones we have (more when we're born)\nAre the frame that our muscles adorn.\nHead connects to the neck,\nNeck connects to the\u2014heck,\nYou should know all the rest, so well-worn.", "id": 18082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A broomballer chases the ball\nOn the ice with no skates on at all.\nI guess this is tricky,\n'Cause ice isn't sticky,\nAnd even with skates you can fall.", "id": 18083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Ernst Abbe was leading Carl Zeiss;\nTheir lenses fetched quite a high price,\nAnd his noble creation,\nThe Carl Zeiss Foundation,\nHad features that still would entice.", "id": 18084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In this baleful, most bloody tale yet,\nMafiosi cleaved open a vet,\nFed his dogs and three nieces\nHis heart in small pieces \u2014\nThen bought their poor don a new pet.", "id": 18085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "I wept as I sat by her bed;\n\"Can you hear me? It's David,\" I said.\nHer memory lingers\nIn cold, bony fingers,\nOnce young. Now she's gone. My mum's dead.", "id": 18086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Such bravura!  What consummate skill!\nHow you climbed up the mountain with Jill,\nSent your foes to the slaughter\u2014\nAnd all for some water!\n(From there, though, it all went downhill....)", "id": 18087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Father Tom's an illustrious cleric\nWhose sermons are antihysteric.\nNo matter how crazed,\nYou'll find yourself dazed,\nAs his words are beyond esoteric.", "id": 18088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "You're a loser, a failure, a schnook,\nAnd your lady friend gave you the hook?\nQuit chilling and swilling\u2014\nJane's thrilling and willing...\nAnd found in my little black book.", "id": 18089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The biblical Boaz, forsooth,\nPracticed charity, justice and truth.\nThis powerful man,\nIn the name of his clan,\nTook the hand of the widow named Ruth.", "id": 18090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "When calling your wine Beaujolais,\nBe aware: It's a name contr\u00f4l\u00e9e,\nAnd a statute defines\nThe location of vines\nThat engender its trademark bouquet.", "id": 18091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If you have arithmetical skill,\nYou can add and subtract things until\nYou advance on the path\nTo the high-level math,\nWhere you learn to plot functions at will.", "id": 18092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A potable liquid; a drink;\nThe coffee you sip while you think . . . .\nA beverage is\nA fluteful of fizz\nOr the water on tap in your sink.", "id": 18093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Von Ribbentropp's kinfolk were hunkered\nIn a hideout well-furnished and Junkered;\nThe place was replete\nWith the Prussian elite\u2014\nFearing bombs, and defensively bunkered.", "id": 18094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Biogenic sedimentary rock\nWill go on being formed round the clock.\nLife will die and decay,\nMaking coal by the way,\nAnd what folks here in Kansas call \"chock\".", "id": 18095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The Acarus folliculorum\u2014\nPat Robertson wants to outlaw 'em.\nThese bisexual mites\nGet their sinful delights\nUp our noses (but me, I ignore 'em).", "id": 18096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Men use bro as a slang term for brother\u2014\nBut they don't have to share the same mother.\nIt's a way that guys say\n(Trying not to sound gay)\nThat they'd like to be friends with each other.", "id": 18097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "When the sergeant calls out \"about face!\"\nHe expects you to turn in your place\nOne-eighty degrees,\nAnd he sure won't say \"please.\"\nSo you'd better hop to it apace.", "id": 18098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "The base runner has a good lead\nAnd he's known for his guile and speed.\nWhen the pitcher rears back\nHe begins his attack\u2014\nLeaving third for the run that they need.", "id": 18099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Those keeping our atmosphere clean'll\nKeep watch; are their lawmakers venal?\nThe perps will avow\nThere's no sweat on their brow\nOver little old things like biphenyl.", "id": 18100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An ambitious young yuppie named Daryl\nFelt an image took more than apparel.\nHe purchased a Hummer,\nWhich sure was a bummer;\nHe found he'd need fuel by the bbl.", "id": 18101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "If a bat and your skull should connect,\nI'd expect that your braincase gets wrecked.\nThough a plate of titanium\nCould strengthen your cranium,\nThere might not be much to protect.", "id": 18102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "I think, as I look at the time,\nI am beating my brains out to rhyme;\nI am just too damn tired\nTo feel that inspired,\nSo into my bed I shall climb.", "id": 18103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jayson Lockwood", "limerick": "Abrachiocephalia's dire.\nIf you've got it, you're sure to expire.\nYou're naught but a stump \u2014\nLegs, torso, and rump;\nA casket you soon will require.", "id": 18104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Do you like the new flat, then?\" asked Paul\nAs we walked through his sculpture-lined hall.\n\"They're a bugger to dust,\nBut I like a nice bust.\"\nThen he sniggered and said, \"Don't we all?\"", "id": 18105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Oh, those big-bosomed girls make me lusty;\nThey're flouncy and bouncy and busty!\nMy ageing heart sags,\nOh, colostomy bags!\nI'm too rusty and musty and crusty.", "id": 18106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "An absurdity's sometimes preferred,\nLike when Seuss would invent a new word.\n (Which I think is a crime,\n As it's cheating to rhyme\nBrungle-Bird with Prunella J. Fleurd.)", "id": 18107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I begirded myself head to toe,\nMaking ready to battle my foe.\n But though I'm protected,\n I hadn't expected\nThis armor would make me so slow!", "id": 18108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Quasimodo in Notre Dame dwells,\nAs his anger and self-loathing swells.\n The left side of his face\n Is a source of disgrace,\nFor the palsy he suffers is Bell's.", "id": 18109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was an ass from Nantucket\nWho ate all his hay from a bucket,\nAnd when the ass brayed,\nHis lust was displayed...\n(But the obvious rhyme? I must duck it!)", "id": 18110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "\"If you think I am going to take\nYour insults...\" [...you make a mistake].\nThat rhet'ric device\nIs the overconcise\nAnapodoton \u2014 no, it's not fake!", "id": 18111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "You'd think it might float in the air,\nAs you lean back with hardly a care.\nIt is not so unique,\nBut more likely antique\u2014\nSee, balloon-back's the shape of the chair.", "id": 18112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and Richard English", "limerick": "Armadillos are tough little creatures:\nHeavy armor is one of their features.\nTheir breath they can hold\nUnderwater, we're told,\n\"And don't eat them raw,\" say our teachers!", "id": 18113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "chakaal", "limerick": "I once had a basket, capacious,\nI filled with things sweet and baccaceous!\nThose berry thorn scratches\nTook skin off in patches,\nAnd made me irate and pugnacious.", "id": 18114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a person who's calm, as a rule,\nBut my wife has been playing the fool.\nShe's a pest and a goad,\nAnd I'm set to explode.\nI'll be blowing her mind and my cool.", "id": 18115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "While hiking the forest with Lee,\nI noted a tall, stately tree.\nLee's comment: \"A pine.\"\n\"No, broad-leafed,\" was mine.\n\"It's angiospermous, you see.\"", "id": 18116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Don't chuckle or chortle or mutter...\nGet your dirty mind out of the gutter!\nA butt shaft, in fact, is\nAn arrow for practice\nThat penetrates nothing but butter!", "id": 18117, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "This bear has a cinnamon hue,\nOr is black, nearly white, even blue.\nEvery winter, with care,\nShe retreats to her lair,\nAnd it's there she has cubs, often two.", "id": 18118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "When the man, just divorced, learned his spouse\n(Now his ex) got the boat, got the house,\nGot the flat in Manhattan,\nHe threatened to flatten,\nWith bulldozer, all.  What a louse.", "id": 18119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "The word bunny's a term for a rabbit,\nAnd hopping and nibbling's their habit.\nThey're famously known\nFor fecundity (groan)\u2014\nTry the pill or a condom, dagnabbit!", "id": 18120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "She piled all the hair on her head\nLike Frankenstein's bride, whom I dread.\n\"My dear, you've created\nA 'do alveated\u2014\nA beehive that's streaked blue and red.\"", "id": 18121, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A poor flagellate critter had nasty\nOrganelle deformation. Time passed. He\nFound eye docs at last\nFor his blepharoplast.\nThey said, \"No, we do blepharoplasty.\"", "id": 18122, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Your Highness, we're quite in a jam.\nFor when looking up battering ram,\nNot an engine of siege\nDid the sage find, my liege,\nBut the first step in deep-frying lamb.", "id": 18123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "In geometry, transforms assign\nA morphing of shape, form, and line.\nWhile distortion takes place\nIn Euclidean space,\nIt does not when the space is affine.", "id": 18124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jac", "limerick": "Buffet etiquette's often quite tough. It\nIs not 'done' to jostle and buffet.\nDon't rush for the table,\nAnd if you are able\nLoad your dinner plate lightly, don't stuff it.", "id": 18125, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "I advise the mechanic, Ben Gunny,\nThat my aeroplane engine sounds funny.\nWhen I ask, \"Can you cure it?\"\nHe says, \"I'll ensure it\u2014\nSounds serious\u2014give me the money.\"", "id": 18126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Aggravated's a type of assault,\nAn offense with a nasty gestalt.\nHope that perp with the axe\nGets the max for attacks;\nIt's time this crime came to a halt.", "id": 18127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When you've twenty-six babies to feed,\nThere's a tool you'll assuredly need.\nYou must scour inside\nWhere bacteria hide\nWith a bottlebrush\u2014that does the deed!", "id": 18128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "To travel to work and then home,\nI've a cycle that's silver and chrome.\nYou may say they're the same\n(All except for the name),\nBut it's bichrome's the point of this poem.", "id": 18129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Your computer is certain to crack up\nWhen your work is beginning to stack up.\nOnce you've done the restore,\nIt'll be like before\n(That's assuming, of course, that you back up).", "id": 18130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "You suffer from asthma, you say?\nBeware then of ABPA\n'Cause its fungus may cause\nYour breathing to pause.\nTake some steroids to send it away.", "id": 18131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "You insulted the man with your talkin';\nIgnorin' his gun, you went walkin'.\nSo now you've the thrill\nOf tourin' Boot Hill\nOnce they've outlined your body by chalkin'.", "id": 18132, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Said a bettor I met while in Reno,\n\"It's a lock. You will beat the casino.\"\nThis shill's an abettor\nTo make me a debtor.\nI've a better bet betting on keno.", "id": 18133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "While welding, I said to him, \"Mark, I\nAm scared for your safety. That spark I\nEmploy is too bright.\nWear a mask or you might\nSuffer corneal flash burns (or arc eye).\"", "id": 18134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The rodeo bull named Bodacious\nWas muscled and mean and pugnacious.\nThough many had tried\nFor the eight second ride,\nFew outlasted his bucking hellacious.", "id": 18135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and sigg", "limerick": "Parasitic, the cowbird chicks pecked,\nWith appetites always unchecked.\nI pity the starlings\nWho fed these large darlings:\nNo food for their brood; it was wrecked.", "id": 18136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The long tube in my chemistry set,\nWith the measure marks?  That's my burette.\nTurn the tap to and fro\nAnd it varies the flow\nOf the poison I'm planning you'll get!", "id": 18138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Has ever a certified nutter been\nQuite this mad?  When I've, heartbeat a-flutter, been\nTo the doc, I convulse\nAt \"May I take your pulse?\"\nAnd produce a large lima or butter bean.", "id": 18139, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Having checked on the birth situation,\nThe midwife's in some consternation:\nThe baby, to wound her\nFine feelings, just mooned her! \u2014\nYou see, it's a breech presentation.", "id": 18140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The victim lay wreckage-ensnared,\nWhile the doctor despaired as he cared.\nThe police held the lights\nAs the priest read the rites,\nAnd the bystander stood by and stared.", "id": 18141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "This limerick has three little c's,\nFour m's, but there's only two g's.\nThe autogram counts\nLetter usage amounts\u2014\nIt's a task done with (seventeen) ease.", "id": 18142, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "They really must think I'm a fool...\nSilly things that they teach you in school.\nAn axophyte ('Hem!)\nIs a plant with a stem!\nThen I noticed, how green is my pool.", "id": 18143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A bemuscled young man from Virginny\nFell in love with a lady built \"mini\".\n\"Go out for a whirl?\" He\nWas told, \"You're too burly.\"\nHe lost forty pounds.  That's the skinny.", "id": 18144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "I've just grown a plant called a gherkin.\nIt yielded its fruit by the firkin,\nWhich I'll pickle with dill.\nWhen I've eaten my fill,\nI'll be belching with gut acid workin'.", "id": 18145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A pea that grows next to the sea?\nIt sounds most suspicious to me.\nBut where brine and shore mingle\nIn sand and sea shingle,\nThe beach pea will thrive, growing free.", "id": 18146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The abstract of title defines\nThe facts and conveyances' lines\nOf all kinds of land\nThat come to my hand,\nBe they golf courses, graveyards, or mines.", "id": 18147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In Hold 'Em, a player may find\nThat she's caught in a bit of a bind:\nShe'll not bet quite enough\nTo succeed as a bluff,\nAnd instead she'll get raised by the blind.", "id": 18148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since the Puritans were puritanical,\nIn this matter their laws were tyrannical:\nHe profaneth the sabbath\nWho alcohol grabbeth,\nSo blue laws apply like a manacle.", "id": 18149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Their murderous scheme really worked:\nPlied with drink, soon the victims were burked.\nThey'd be stuffed in a box\nFor the good Doctor Knox.\n(If dissected, I'd surely be irked.)", "id": 18150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh and mephistopheles", "limerick": "The anatomist said with a smile,\n\"I'll beguile you with facts about bile!\nHere's its purpose: to bind\nAll the fats it can find,\nOnce it's stored in a bladder awhile.\"", "id": 18151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Kalleh", "limerick": "Some poor S.O.B., name of Seth,\nVery nearly was frightened to death\nWhen a bleb in his lung\nUnexpectedly sprung,\nAnd resulted in shortness of breath.", "id": 18152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Please don't audit too closely; I swear\nThese accounts are true, honest, and fair.\nYou can sign them off here\nThe arithmetic's clear;\nAnd there's nothing below the line there.", "id": 18153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Of choking, I'm deathly afraid,\nSo the meat that I eat is filleted.\nSince the haddock is bony,\nI'll order calzone\nWith fish, but then have it pur\u00e9ed.", "id": 18154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This restaurant's cozy and small,\nNeither posh nor a hole in the wall.\nPenne pasta's the dish\n(Portofino's delish!)\nAt our favorite bistro of all.", "id": 18155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the very first meal of the day\u2014\nTo the French, le petit d\u00e9jeuner.\nThey like breaking their fast\nWith a morning repast\nOf croissants and a caf\u00e9 au lait.", "id": 18156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A buckle's to hold your belt tight\nSo your pants don't slide down since the sight\nOf you standing there bare,\nWhere the ladies can stare,\nIsn't what you get paid for tonight.", "id": 18157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Aetiology wants to know why\nAll that is is the way it is. I\nDo not actually care,\nBut suspect that somewhere\nThere's a cause I could blame if I try.", "id": 18158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A bracero helps out on the farm.\nHe's from Mexico, manly, with charm,\nAnd his children and wife\nHe supports with his life,\nAnd his work, so they come to no harm.", "id": 18159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Burladeros are places to go\nWhen the bull's giving chase, and you know\nHe might prick you today.\nWhile you sweat, you might pray.\nStill he knows he must die, soon and slow.", "id": 18160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Part four in a song makes it strong;\nWith the bass all the rest get along.\nLike a \"ding\" without \"dong,\"\nOr a \"ping\" without \"pong,\"\nTo omit the deep voice is all wrong.", "id": 18161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When you tour Madagascar, please try\nThis arboreal lemur to spy.\nThough the light it absorbs\nThrough its oversized orbs,\nIt's called aye-aye because of its cry!", "id": 18162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When you hear four gents singing of hearts\nAnd of flowers for love's brand new starts,\nIt's the barbershop style,\nAnd for harmony, I'll\nGuarantee that you'll love all four parts.", "id": 18163, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "People's sex lives can shock and appall.\nOh, it's strange all the things that enthrall.\nChains and whips, leather chaps,\nBut the weirdest, perhaps:\nAphallatia \u2014 no sex at all.", "id": 18164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "When women go out for a munch,\nThe bill's quite a mess after lunch:\n\"I had an iced tea!\"\n\"No salad for me!\"\n\"I'll be paying too much, I've a hunch!\"", "id": 18165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Look above to the beautiful skies\nAnd into my daughter's blue eyes:\nBecause azure's my favorite\nOf colors \u2014 I savor it.\nBut...send back those moldy blue fries!", "id": 18166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Your baby blue eyes are enticing \u2014\nSo warm that their color's de-icing!\nThey're dazzling and true,\nAnd they say \"I love you!\"\n(Except when you're mad \u2014 then they're slicing!)", "id": 18167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "What's flying around, can you tell?\nIt's consuming some insects as well.\nAnd it looks kind of weird,\nLike it's wearing a beard\u2014\nIt's the bat that they call barbastelle.", "id": 18168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Mikhail, if you see Uncle Vanya,\nOr Olga, Natasha, or Tanya,\nJust tell them the scheme\nIs to sit in the steam\nIn our sauna-type bath called a banya.", "id": 18169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Are you bored with croquet on the grass?\nAs for horseshoes, you'd just as soon pass?\nWhen your leisure time calls,\nGrab a hold of some balls\u2014\nLet's play bocce; it's really a gas!", "id": 18170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "As he comes to the end of life's road,\nThis old man has to creep like a toad;\nBut no pity he begs,\nFor he boasts that his legs\nMay be bloody, but still they're unbowed.", "id": 18171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With an antoninianus, I'm flush\u2014\nCoin's worth thirty-two asses! No rush\nTo go shopping and spend it\nAnd no, I won't lend it.\nThat's Sotheby's calling now\u2014hush!", "id": 18172, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If your annulus fibrosus now falters,\nIntervertebral disc function alters,\nBeastly back-pain is caused,\nYour mobility's paused:\nIt's the cruellest of ortho assaulters.", "id": 18173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "An accessory shoe can be \"hot\";\nIf it's simply a mount, then it's not.\nIt is where the foot fits\nFor your camera bits\nWith the hope of improving the shot.", "id": 18174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A thrush in the mouth, how absurd!\nIt's a fungus you say\u2014not a bird?\nCalled an aphtha, it grew\nInto aphthae\u2014some few\u2014\nThen an ulcer resembling a curd.", "id": 18175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The flight went according to plan:\nThe Eagle had landed on \"Tran\".\nWith the earth shining high\nIn the cold lunar sky,\nNeil Armstrong took \"One step for man\".", "id": 18176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The light might as well have been pink:\nMostly off \u2014 an occasional wink.\nI'll paint you a graphic:\nThe cop steering traffic\nSaid, \"Somehow the thing's on the blink.\"", "id": 18177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Even backward barbarians learn:\nTake attacking and looting in turn;\nSo, when sacking a village,\nThe hacking and pillage\nPrecede undertaking to burn.", "id": 18178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While you're wiping your asp, here's a tip:\nJust be certain your grasp doesn't slip;\nThere's a risk that you take\nWith a venomous snake,\nSo when clasping your asp, get a grip.", "id": 18179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This wine-tasting party's a mess:\nHow drunk are the guests? I can't guess.\nStill, your old college pal\nThrows a mean bacchanal,\nWhere nothing succeeds like excess.", "id": 18180, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When her landlord got stricter and tricked 'er,\nHe discovered a clause to evict 'er.\nAs he started, \"No pet ...\"\nHe got suddenly et\nBy her cuddlesome boa constrictor.", "id": 18181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The audience oohs in an awed way\nAnd aahs in a quick-to-applaud way.\nOn stage are the pros\nWho can light up the shows\nWe see open and close along Broadway.", "id": 18182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Your glibness is causing my blues;\nYour \"witty\" remarks don't amuse.\nYour tongue is too flip,\nSo button your lip!\nYeah, shut it \u2014 I'm sick of your views.", "id": 18183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "It is said that Ed Albee, the playwright,\nPenned a play (quite a gem) on a grey night.\nWhen he came home from swimmin',\nHe wrote Three Tall Women\nAnd they stayed in his flat until daylight.", "id": 18184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandsons arrived on a Sunday\nFor a trip to the beach and a fun day,\nBut bacteria rose\nAnd the beach had to close.\nWill the count  be acceptable Monday?", "id": 18185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "That line Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbara Ann,\nIn a limerick? No, not a good plan!\nThough a big Beach Boys hit,\nThis song's beat (I admit)\nJust won't fit when this hit hits the fan.", "id": 18186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "A baleen is a type of a whale,\nWhich sharp sailors' harpoons would impale.\nTheir baleen strains the krill,\nOf which whales eat their fill,\nBut as whalebone formed corsets for sale.", "id": 18187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "Begin with a zero or one,\nAdd commands and you start to have fun.\nStart defining a rule \u2014\nI  think if/else is cool \u2014\nCompile, and you're basically done.", "id": 18188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "EnglishBob", "limerick": "\"Stop fighting,\" both parties agree,\n\"And we'll meet for a chat by that tree.\"\nIn the field, hopes increase\n(Each side looking for peace),\nBut it's not yet a firm guarantee.", "id": 18189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "EnglishBob", "limerick": "The major sat down and addressed\nAll his outgoing mail. He just guessed\nWhere it needed to go,\nSaying \"Mail, make it so!\"\nAnd his overworked aide did the rest.", "id": 18190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "In the woodlands a lady named Laura\nAttracted both fauna and flora.\nDeer, poppies, and possum\nDrew near her to blossom,\nSurrounded by love, nature's aura.", "id": 18193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Why's a tavern, I asked with a start,\nLike the sound of an elephant's fart?\nWell, the thunderous boom\nHas the sound of bah-ROOM,\nWhile the inn is a bar-room, in part.", "id": 18194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bought a cartridge of ink at the mall,\nThen bethought myself, \"Did I recall\nWhat's the right kind of ink?\"\nSince I couldn't bethink,\nNow my printer's got", "id": 18195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An axion's axiomatic:\nHypothetical, we are emphatic.\nIts particle mass?\nNot worth a rat's ass!\nAnd its charge and its spin? Problematic.", "id": 18196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a short-sighted species, the human,\nSo the death of the planet is loomin'.\nYet that seems to suggest\nHow it's best to invest,\nAs the bomb-building business is boomin'.", "id": 18197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What an anaphrodisiac starts\nTo impart to your privatemost parts\nIs a quenching of fire:\nThere's lessened desire,\nAnd departure of coital arts.", "id": 18198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A chap with the bod of a bear\nTried attending a nudist affair,\nBut he couldn't get in\nWithout showing more skin,\nAs his backside was bristling with hair!", "id": 18199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The arachnid who went on a date\nWith Miss Muffet was somewhat irate:\nIt was hard to divine\nFrom her picture on-line\nThat her limbs numbered four, and not eight.", "id": 18200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Watch the whales of the wind lumber near,\nSo majestic and gray and austere.\nSuch leviathans fly,\nSweeping krill from the sky:\nTheir baleens make balloons disappear!", "id": 18201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "In court, pled an aider/abettor,\n\"I admit that I helped that go-getter,\nBut no bets were made.\nI was merely an aide,\nSo I only broke half the law's letter.\"", "id": 18202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Saint Peter, the fisherman saint,\nLanded Brando and had no complaint.\n\"Most white marlins I've caught\nAre enormous\u2014I thought\u2014\nBut compared to this Marlon, they ain't.\"", "id": 18203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If you live between Holland and France,\nThere's a rather significant chance\nThat you're Belgian, you know,\nJust like Christie's Poirot\n(Whose finale she wrote in advance).", "id": 18204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Young Christina disputed a call.\nHer opponent stood bouncing the ball.\nThe crowd booed disbelief,\nAs the ump gave her grief\u2014\nOnce again they were tied, 40\u2013all.", "id": 18205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A baleen whale (a gray one, quite big)\nOf a Baja lagoon took a swig.\nThrough baleen plates she sifted\nAnd ate, while she drifted,\nSome plankton and shrimp and one fig.", "id": 18206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "For a shake that's the best that you've had,\nTake two scoops of some ice cream and add\nSome banana or berry,\nOr chocolate or cherry;\nAdd milk and then blend it like mad.", "id": 18207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "\"Have I told you this story before?\nI have? Well, I'll tell it once more.\nAt the start of the drought...\"\nThen I blanked the rest out\nSince that man's an insufferable bore.", "id": 18208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "When the annual percentage yields fell,\nAnd expected returns went to hell,\nThen the traders felt rough\nFor the going was tough.\nWas it better to buy or to sell?", "id": 18209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A pair who will bring ruination,\nMost evil in all of creation:\nA mis- (not too sweet)\nAnd a mal- (who's a cheat)\nAt the head of the administration.", "id": 18210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "One look at a freshly made bagel\nMay thoughts of mad munching inveigle.\nIts origins? Mystery!\nWho wrote beygl's history,\nOr maybe some facts did finagle?", "id": 18211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since your wound is now healing, you are\nThe luckiest fellow by far,\nAnd the growth of new tissue\nWill not be an issue\u2014\nYou'll grow acestoma, and scar.", "id": 18212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Sages say that all humans are brothers\nOn this earth that gave birth to our mothers.\nStill brotherly love\nNeeds a hand, like a glove:\n\"Be the change you desire in all others.\"", "id": 18213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "The word brunizem, meaning \"brown earth,\"\nOnce applied to the prairie soil's worth.\nNow called mollisol, filth\nFlows through worms to form tilth:\nOf \"soft soil\" this poor Earth has a dearth.", "id": 18214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "How I love double-entry accounts \u2014\nKeeping books with cross-checking amounts!\nLike a cat stalking prey,\nI could balance all day.\n(It's on ledgers, not ledges, I pounce.)", "id": 18215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There's a curse which my beauty imposes:\nI must leave you before the club closes \u2014\nFor at twelve I'll mutate\nTo a pumpkin-ish state,\nWhich I call apocolocyntosis.", "id": 18216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "There's a Broad Church for Anglicans, though\nIt's the High Church where we choose to go,\nSince we're purer than they,\nBut who knows whom God may\nChoose to love from above down below.", "id": 18217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "To find the best fish, it is said,\nFind a reef with a rich algal bed.\nFor with little to fear,\nThe fish will stay near\nTo the place where they're hidden and fed.", "id": 18218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "His attractions were almost unlistable;\nHe misted all eyes that were mistable.\nWas it Elvis's sound?\nCould have been; or they found\nHis abdominal pulse irresistible.", "id": 18219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Where the hardiest cyclists go,\nAlpine gearing is needed. You know\nWhen you climb something big\nYou will sweat like a pig\nIf your gears aren't sufficiently low.", "id": 18220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "To advance your own party or horde,\nThere's a practice that can't be ignored:\nManipulate mystery\nTo falsify history\u2014\nAs frequently done as deplored.", "id": 18221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Have you met my composer friend Yorick?\nHis music is aleatoric.\nA throw of his dice\nMakes the outcome precise:\nOddly catchy, or even euphoric.", "id": 18222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "If you're starting to feel you're \"a-grooving\"\nAnd upward and onward you're moving,\nIf grumbles are few\nAnd the praises ring true,\nThen you know that your peers are approving.", "id": 18223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "As he finished in first, Willie grinned\nWhile the pack, still in back, knew he'd sinned.\nFor you see, the race started\nAnd then Willie farted;\nHe broke records because he broke wind.", "id": 18224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Though Alice has Wonderland fame,\nThe Latinized form of her name\nAdds an i and an a,\nTaking e clear away:\nAlicia's the name of this dame.", "id": 18225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Fluffy bunnies are more than just cute\u2014\nThey are twitchy of leg and of snoot.\nThey eat carrots by night,\nWith their pointy teeth bite,\nAnd are musically evil to boot.", "id": 18226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "The word of is informally a:\nSo if some kind a gangster should say,\n\"Get rid a the rats!\"\nThen a couple a cats\nSorta blow his accusers away.", "id": 18227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "To smell borneol's scent on the breeze,\nYou must find Dryobalanops trees.\nCatalytic reduction\nFor faster production\nMakes gallons of perfume with ease.", "id": 18228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "In a market (Chinese), I was smellin'\nBalsam pear, somethin' long they were sellin',\nA food of repute.\nI expected a fruit,\nBut instead got a squash: bitter melon.", "id": 18229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Aviculture seemed easy: Young Jacques\nRaised an auk and a hawk, then a flock.\nOverweening ambition\nReached fatal fruition:\nHe finished by feeding a roc.", "id": 18230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Three cheers for aluminization,\nA process of broad application\nIn mirrored balloons,\nIn the shades worn by goons,\nAnd for cooling an orbiting station.", "id": 18231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "I'm feeling euphoric and gay!\nNo, not 'cause I'm smoking a jay:\nI'm taking big bites\nOf chocolate delights,\nAnd anandamide's making my day.", "id": 18232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "If you're pedaling all around town\nAnd you're pointing your toes up and down,\nWhat you're doing is ankling;\nYou'll soon find it's rankling\nYour ankles and making you frown.", "id": 18233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "As clean as some water may seem,\nThere's pollution in many a stream.\nTo make sure that it's pure,\nAn adsorbent's your cure:\nJust activate charcoal with steam.", "id": 18234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "As our marriage is losing its glow,\nOh, how jealous my wife seems to grow.\nShe enquired, to ensnare,\n\"Who's your new love affair?\"\nI replied to her, \"Who wants to know?\"", "id": 18235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A teacher (of pre-school, I think)\nGave her adjutator  (helper) a wink.\n\"These children are sweet,\nThough they give me tired feet,\nBut our paychecks most certainly stink!\"", "id": 18236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A sharper named Sam, on the lam,\nFound his getaway blocked by a jam\nIn the mountaintop traffic:\nHe sought topographic\nEscape via aerial tram.", "id": 18237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "In teeth, the accretion lines show\nTheir calcification\u2014they grow\nLike the rings of a tree;\nTeeth are stripy, you see,\nUnless crowned, as all movie stars know.", "id": 18238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "If with water your aquifer's brimming,\nBut your pumping rate's steadily slimming,\nAn aquitard might\nBe the cause of your plight\n(Not a garment for synchronized swimming).", "id": 18239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "If leprosy mars your physique,\nThere's a treatment that lasts a whole week:\nAcedapsone is strong\nAnd its potency's long\u2014\nJust get a big shot in each cheek.", "id": 18240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Who is heaven's high muckety-muck?\nNot that second-rate archangel shmuck.\nWhen the angels all strike\nFor a salary hike,\nHe seraphically passes the buck.", "id": 18241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Now, an arsenide's nature would be\nAtom: arsenic; charge: minus three.\nWith gallium metal\nThe substance you get'll\nResult in a bright L.E.D.", "id": 18242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "When cookie and milk hour comes,\nIt generates full little tums,\nAnd also bright smiles;\nBut oh, what a trial's\nThe aggeneration of crumbs.", "id": 18243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A homely young lass named Hermione\nWanted love, but alas, couldn't buy any.\nSo she danced in the nude,\nAnd black witchcraft pursued,\nAnd she poisoned the townsmen with briony.", "id": 18244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "The dustman, 'e founded a brewery.\n'E thought 'e would try something newer:  'E\nFermented 'is beer\nIn the can, but we fear\nThe result is deplorably sewery.", "id": 18245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Here's an antelope lesson succinct:\nThe Indian blackbuck's distinct\n(Being black and quite small)\nFrom the bluebuck, who's tall\nAnd from Africa (also extinct).", "id": 18246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and eris8x6", "limerick": "The caveman, with hands that were deft,\nFlaked a flint on each side, right and left.\nThis biface provides\nThe same view from both sides,\nAnd a hatchet that has a nice heft.", "id": 18247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "I've been waiting for hours on end\nFor my pal, who had promised to send\nMe the Admiral's Cup.\nBut it never turned up...\nGood Lord! What became of my friend!?", "id": 18249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Poor antediluvial man\nDidn't know, when the Flood rains began,\nGod's plan that gray day:\nWash the wicked away,\nSaving Noah, his Ark, and his clan.", "id": 18250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "My tennis coach, ending my dream\nOf securing a place on the team,\nSaid, \"Your backhand is fine,\nBut returns down the line\nShould, beforehand, build up greater steam.\"", "id": 18251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Awash was the deck of my boat;\nMy old ark would not long stay afloat.\nThere was nothing to do\nBut to bail out the crew:\nThree gorillas, two pigs, and a goat.", "id": 18252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I'm lonely, I'm lost, and I rage,\nNevermore with this world to engage.\nMy scars cannot heal\nBehind thick rods of steel.\nOh, I'll rattle the bars of this cage.", "id": 18253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I dream of the havoc I'll wreak\nIn the pale shafts of moonlight, so weak.\nSlanted rays form in bars,\nAnd the smouldering stars\nGlower down at me: \"Whisper \u2014 don't shriek.\"", "id": 18254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He's lying \u2014 we cannot deny it \u2014\nBut two can play games, so let's try it.\nSince none can believe him,\nThis tale might deceive him\nIn turn. So, you reckon he'll buy it?", "id": 18255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "In order to get one inside,\nAn access code must be supplied.\nBut if you're too slow\nOr type zero for 'O',\nThe message reads, 'Access Denied'.", "id": 18256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Abortigenic diseases aren't rare,\nAnd in livestock will cause them to bear\nTheir young prematurely,\nThe answer is surely:\nUse enzyme-linked assays with care.", "id": 18257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "As a word in that great Aussie song,\nTo dismiss it as nonsense is wrong;\nIt's an outback-style well.\nThough the water's not swell,\nTo the billabong creatures can throng.", "id": 18258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "An auto crash brought to an end\nThe career of our car-stealing \"friend\".\nAt high speed without fear,\nHe omitted to steer\nRound a left-handed right-angled bend.", "id": 18259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I'm serving the Land of the Free!\nAnd Mother is bragging on me!\nI quit my last job,\nBut I am no slob,\nFor I've joined the ACOE!", "id": 18261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The Queen of the Nile went to Caesar\nConcealed in a rug \u2014 what a teaser!\nShe rolled out pre-stripped,\nAnd cheekily quipped:\n\"My roll is to be an appeaser.\"", "id": 18262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "If you're walking baht'at on the moor,\nThen your chance of survival is poor.\nSo don't be a clown\u2014\nWear a hat on your crown.\nPlay it cool and you'll cool down for sure.", "id": 18263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "His dates were much shorter and rounder\nThan he\u2014who was truly a bounder;\nHe would mock them for days\n'Til they learned of his ways\nAnd proceeded to find someone sounder.", "id": 18264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Two forms\u2014the same stuff: allotropical.\nTo say \"diamond and coal\" would be topical.\nBut \"water and ice\"\nOr \"rice pudding and rice\"\nWould be uses I'd call malapropical.", "id": 18265, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Never joining the Navy, Kim Basinger\nExplained to some gobs who were facing her:\n\"I do not fear the fight,\nAnd I'm gorgeous in white,\nBut I'm simply no 'Anchors Aweigh' singer\"", "id": 18267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and alkahuna", "limerick": "There's nothing that brought Patrick Swayze joy\nOn a set like a Martin Scorsese ploy\nThat involved cool chablis\nAnd allowed him to be\nJust reclining at ease in an armchair.", "id": 18268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I am proud to be counted among\nDads who talked with their daughters, when young,\n'Bout the birds and the bees.\n(Then I prayed to God, \"Please\nDo not let them get pecked at or stung!\")", "id": 18270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Beverly Hillbillies showed\nYou could move to a fancy abode\nIf you first shot at food\nBut hit bubblin' crude\nAnd with millions of bucks were bestowed.", "id": 18271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When I bet all my chips in a rush,\nI was bluffing.  I tried not to blush.\nI was making a stand\nWith a beatable hand:\nA 7-high \"almost-a-flush.\"", "id": 18272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Broca's area: That's the location\nIn your brain which creates conversation.\nIf you damage that spot,\nYou'll regret it a lot;\nIt will cause a great deal of frustration!", "id": 18273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though he made her feel small, I admit\u2014\nShe was scared and so mad she could spit\u2014\nI move for acquittal: her\nFormer belittler\nDrooled on himself, I submit.", "id": 18274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Going shopping for us is a chore;\nBuying footwear we really abhor.\nIt is okay to quote us,\nOur toes are amotus,\nPoint upward and don't touch the floor.", "id": 18275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beta-carotene, eaten each day,\nIn our green leafy veggies, just may\nMake us all eagle-eyed;\nWhen we get it inside,\nWe convert it to vitamin A.", "id": 18276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Bottom-feeder: a creature that might\nFind its food at the bottommost site\nUnderwater, near ground,\nOr the fellow who's found\nIn the Taco Bell dumpster at night.", "id": 18277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "\"We boarded a boat and we fled\nFrom oppression\", the boat people said.\nThough their chances weren't good,\nIt was well understood:\nThey would rather be dead than be red.", "id": 18278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "A bikeway was built in my town\nTo help folks on two wheels get aroun'.\nRiding bikes on the roads\nJust increases their loads,\nRisking cars mowing bicyclists down.", "id": 18279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "My son always clings to his blanky \u2014\nHow cute\u2026so I'm grabbing my hanky!\nHe hugs it all night,\nBut I've only one fright\u2026\nWill this change when he's lean, tall, and lanky?", "id": 18280, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a rabbi who's sly as a fox,\nBut his crimes give the rebbetzin shocks.\nShe expects he'd finagle\nCream cheese and a bagel,\nBut burgle? The guy can pick lox!", "id": 18281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There goes Elza, the devilish one;\nPlaying catch with her brimstone is fun.\nAnd it's Heaven to dwell\nIn her sulfurous Hell \u2014\nCast a spell and be Elza, bub? Done!", "id": 18282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Let's contemplate falling in love,\nAnd the metaphor conjured thereof.\nShould not love see us rise\nIn our chosen one's eyes?\nNo more falling \u2014 love lifts us above.", "id": 18283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I kissed her, she left me no doubt\nThat my smooch was the work of a lout.\nMy classroom's perplexing;\nIntegration is vexing!\nSo what is school bussing about?", "id": 18284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Some rabbits are drunk.  Their bizarre hopping\nStops them from getting too far, hopping.\nThey stumble and slide\nInto pubs where they're plied,\nAnd the bunnies get fried while they're barhopping.", "id": 18285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "They said brainlessly's how I would do it,\nAnd they laughed to see how I got through it.\n\"Go do it once more.\nMake us laugh like before.\"\nSo I did, and they did, and I knew it.", "id": 18286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "They'll bug off when you tell them to \"Shoo!\"\nThey're like flies who've been chewing on you.\nThen they'll leave you alone\nWhile you moan and you groan,\nBut you know they'll be back later, too.", "id": 18287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The A/D line is starting to rise.\nAll the bulls, hungry looks in their eyes,\nNow begin to pursue\n'Cause decliners are few\nAnd advancers are taking the prize.", "id": 18288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's so much in my man to admire:\nWhen he gardens for me, he won't tire.\nI adore how his thumb\n(Just as green as they come)\nGrows the mums as it plumbs my desire.", "id": 18289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bracingly fresh ocean breeze\nGave me strength in the face of unease\nWhen I went on a cruise\nAnd imbibed too much booze\nOn a boat called the Florida Quease.", "id": 18290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Mister Bush, if your people disclaim ya,\nAnd for deficit spending they blame ya,\nIt's for lies you have spun\nAnd for all that you've done\nIn your mess-up in Mesopotamia.", "id": 18291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The breadth of the market is showing\nThat the rally is finally slowing.\nLess green and more red\nSignals trouble ahead;\nIf you're long now, it's time to be going.", "id": 18292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Annoy means to anger or stress\nAnd the cause could be anyone's guess.\nThough our country's officials\n(Known just by initials)\nSeem to do it with major success.", "id": 18293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I promise, if I am elected,\nYour interests will be respected.\nLower tax! Increased wealth!\nSafer streets! Better health!\n(As long as my arse is protected.)", "id": 18294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term bear hug's a homonym, dude.\nGet it wrong and you're royally screwed!\nIt means an embrace\nNice and tight, face to face.\nIt is not one that's given while nude.", "id": 18295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On the beaches throughout Vietnam\nWalks a bird with the haughty aplomb\nOf a general.  I credit\nThis tale since I read it\nOn Adjutant_Stork_News.com.", "id": 18296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "You accelerate terribly hard,\nYet we're only just leaving the yard!\nThere's a bluey-grey cloud;\nWe've attracted a crowd,\nAnd the surface is blackened and charred.", "id": 18297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Southern brother, it's most odd to see\nThat your shadow's behind, as with me.\nNorth and south\u2014what a riddle\u2014\nThe sun's in the middle.\nWe're antiscians, don't you agree?", "id": 18298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Now let's do this properly, chaps,\nOr the Empire will fall\u2014well, perhaps.\nIt's Auntie Beeb speaking:\nPerfection we're seeking\u2014\nWe won't allow standards to lapse.", "id": 18299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "It is bafflingly complex: who roams\nAround kidnapping old garden gnomes\nTo take them on trips\nOver land and on ships,\nThen return them at night to their homes?.", "id": 18300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It would seem we'd a shortage of brawn;\nNot yet home, and we started to yawn.\nNo oases, bazaars,\nWe lay under the stars\nWhere, impromptu, we bivouacked 'til dawn.", "id": 18301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's a Congress of scruples bereft;\nCutting taxes for rich guys \u2014 it's theft,\nWhile their help-the-poor program\nLooks more like a pogrom.\n(Go on; call me bleeding-heart left.)", "id": 18302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anarene is a fictional town\nIn West Texas, of little renown.\nNothing happens at night,\nAnd the days don't excite.\nNow they're shutting the picture show down.", "id": 18303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Those who make western prairies their home\nWill proclaim that the buffalo roam.\nIt's no use to ask why, son\u2014\nThe right word is bison,\nAnd that is the point of this poem.", "id": 18304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "He awoke in the 25th century\nA.D. in a world of adventure.  He\nHad aged about zero,\nBuck Rogers, our hero.\nActivities?  Plenipotentiary.", "id": 18305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In the wake of your wreck and its strife,\nMore bad news arrives, twisting the knife:\nThat old truck was your friend,\nBut it's come to the end\nOf its absolute physical life.", "id": 18306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "While he drank, Jimmy whistled and jigged,\nBut when drunk on the whiskey he swigged,\nSuffered dreams of grim lasses\nIn wigs and dark glasses:\nBespectacled, bitter, bewigged.", "id": 18307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "We're the best in the state, unsurpassed,\nAnd we're aiming to prove it at last.\nWhile the other teams vie,\nOur first round is a bye\u2014\nSecond round we will shine (they're outclassed).", "id": 18308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's done! I am truly relieved.\nThe idea that I had conceived\nHas come to fruition.\nThat's one more ambition\nI'm proud to have finally achieved.", "id": 18309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "He is fit (he works out and plays rugger),\nAnd he's tactile (the man is a hugger).\nHe is more than a mate:\nAs a pair, we'd be great...\nBut he claims to be straight \u2014 what a bugger!", "id": 18310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Antarctica, scientists think,\nIs a continent poised on the brink.\nIf we keep burning coal,\nWe will melt the South Pole,\nWhich would leave the atolls in the drink.", "id": 18311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Ad nauseam, ad nauseam, and then\nAd nauseam, ad nauseam, again.\nAd nauseam once more,\nAd nauseam line four,\nAd nauseam, ad nauseam (say when).", "id": 18312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "\"You go KILL IT!  That vicious acaridan!\"\nShrieked my wife, the malicious old harridan.\nBut the mite in her sight\nWas not quite worth a fright\u2014\nWish I'd married delicious Ann Sheridan.", "id": 18313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I miss you; your absence, so sad,\nIs a drag. Though I feel like a cad,\nWhat else can I do\nWhen I'm lonely and blue?\nI'll invite someone else to my pad.", "id": 18314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "What's your astrological sign?\nThere are twelve of them\u2014guess which is mine!\nYou can choose to believe,\nThough this stuff may deceive.\nIf it's only for fun, then it's fine.", "id": 18315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Right, left, then side, side\u2014looking good.\nKeep your chin up. You're cool, really could\nBe a pro. Keep the beat,\nBallroom dancing, so neat...\nI'd continue all night, if you would.", "id": 18316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "Though I once bustled all about town,\nMy efficiency winning renown,\nStiffened ankles and hips\nHave diminished my trips.\nThis acampsia's sure slowed me down.", "id": 18317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"To the Notre Dame bell tower few go,\"\nSaid renowned French auteur Victor Hugo.\n\"But my own Quasimodo,\nDespite deafness in toto,\nHas a hunch he'll be found there if you go.\"", "id": 18318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "At the Automat, Chicken Supreme\nOr blueberry pie with whipped cream\u2014\nInsert coins, open door,\nTasty tidbits galore\nOn the spot\u2014an automaton's dream!", "id": 18319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "For corpses whose hair is awry,\nThese ladies will wash, cut, and dry.\nThese ghoulish beauticians\nDo work for morticians.\nTheir motto is \"Curl up and dye.\"", "id": 18320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Incising a fresh avocado\nRequires no skill or bravado,\nBut the slicing is rare\nOf an alligator pair,\nUnless \"I welcome death!\" is your motto.", "id": 18321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "His braillewriter went on the fritz;\nThen the thing up and died, called it quits.\nHe soon came to find\nThree mice that are blind\nNow reside there. They think it's the Ritz!", "id": 18322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I heard of abura, a tree\nThat the Africans surely agree\nHas a yellowish wood\nAnd has leaves that make good\nPharmaceutics for headaches, for me.", "id": 18323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A merchant who lived long ago\nIn a town was a burgher and so\nWas not something you'd eat.\nThose fat buns and ground meat?\nThat's a burger, in case you don't know.", "id": 18324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "They were burnt in the flames just before\nTheir hot ashes were raked, and what's more,\nAt the stake life delayed\nForty minutes. They prayed\nTill unconsciousness opened death's door.", "id": 18325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Though begging the question's a phrase\nThat means to evade, not to raise,\nThe question at hand,\nWe should still understand\nThat it's used incorrectly these days.", "id": 18326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"A gift in the mail: I've been Bosced.\"\n(Those are pears, yellow-brown\u2014glad you ahsked.)\nBut they'd taken some knocks,\nBeing packed in a box,\nAnd were blemished and bruised when unmahsked.", "id": 18327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Arvicoline creatures, it's known,\nCan damage the crops that you've sown.\nIt's hard work, arviculture....\nSome four legged \"vulture\"\nMay eat the young shoots you have grown.", "id": 18328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "The first in the count would be aen;\nNumber two (mostly white) becomes taen.\nCarry on, but don't sleep\u2014\nIt's the way to count sheep\nOn the land of the Dales-country man.", "id": 18329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "\"Sweet mercy! Oh, heaven forbid!\nYou strangled that innocent kid?\"\nHe shrugged his cold shoulders,\nAnd, blandly, he told us,\n\"Why yes, my dear people. I did.\"", "id": 18330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Thanks to carbon dioxide, my dear,\nPlain white wine turns all sparkly with cheer.\nYou may think it's just gas;\nAu contraire, it lends class.\nHoist your bubbly; let's toast the New Year!", "id": 18331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "My programming life was once cursed.\nLots more memory, please, was my thirst.\nWhat resolved half my trouble?\nThe magnetised bubble,\nBut lots of cheap RAM made it burst.", "id": 18332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To focus my thinking, I'll furrow\nMy brow and I'll try to be thorough.\nThere are five in New Yawk\n(That's the way people tawk),\nWhile Alaska has many a borough.", "id": 18333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The waiter, who's English, has learnt\nThat the word for this meat isn't burnt.\nI'm a Yank who can't bear\nWhen a steak ordered rare\nHas been burned, so no tip has been earnt!", "id": 18334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the cattle steered clear of the bunk,\nI approached and thought eeewww! How it stunk!\nWas the feed in the trough\nSomehow putting them off?\nNope, the cows had encountered a skunk.", "id": 18335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He dresses in suede-finished leather\nRoutinely, whatever the weather.\nHe's buckskinned and bold,\nLike frontiersmen of old,\nAnd his brain is as light as a feather.", "id": 18336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Continental ones tend to be light\u2014\nRolls or toast with a coffee seems right,\nWhile the English kind means\nEggs and bacon and beans.\nBoth are breakfasts: sit down, have a bite.", "id": 18337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "So you want to send Junior to Brown,\nA college of highest renown?\nAptitudinal's not\nWhat I'd call him; he's got\nS.A.T. scores of Bozo the Clown.", "id": 18338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Do you think a new bridge would be swell?\nNeed some railways and steamships as well?\nGot a hill?  He'll bore through it.\nOnly one man can do it:\nHe's Isambard Kingdom Brunel.", "id": 18339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Since my cell reeked of addicts and boozers,\nI pled to the jailer, \"These losers\nHave a really bad smell;\nCan I get a hotel?\"\n\"No\u2014you beggars,\" he growled, \"can't be choosers.\"", "id": 18340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "I ran into serious hassles\nIn getting by passels and passels\nOf toll-counting proctors:\nI'd worn to the doctor's\nMy bathrobe with gold lam\u00e9 tassels.", "id": 18341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "The young squire said, \"Sir, raise your spear!\nThere's a bull with a crossbow, I fear!\"\nBut the knight replied, \"Shame!\n'E's got 'orrible aim\u2014\nI'm not scared of that arbalestier.\"", "id": 18342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and eris8x6", "limerick": "An acid becomes anionic\nWhen dissolving in water. Take tonic,\nFor example, with gin\nAnd a lemon slice in\nA tall glass, on the rocks\u2014that's hedonic!", "id": 18343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "This popular black China tea\nTakes its name from the hills of Wu-i.\nLike to try a wee sup?\nDon't be shy, come on up\nAnd I'll ply you with cups of bohea.", "id": 18344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Budget cancelled, Dean? Euphemismology\nFunds gone? Heck, I'm joining Kryptology!\nLose me now, or pay quicker,\nRight? Set things up, vicar,\nWith xenon, yes! Zero apology!", "id": 18345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "When the schoolboy scored zero in cricket,\nHe whined and he wept, \"I can't stick it!\"\n\"Buck up,\" said his father,\n\"Unless you would rather\nReturn in disgrace to the wicket.\"", "id": 18346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "A Birman's a type of a cat.\nIt's blue-eyed and doesn't grow fat\nIf it's properly fed.\nShould it jump in your bed,\nDon't worry: its coat doesn't mat.", "id": 18347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "That novel was pure blood and thunder!\nWith bodices ripping asunder,\nIt built to a climax.\nToday, we'd need IMAX\nTo conjure equivalent wonder.", "id": 18348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Here's a musical horse-riding riddle:\nWhat straddles both saddle and fiddle?\nA bow: with a string,\nIt makes violins sing,\nAnd gives shape where you sit in the middle.", "id": 18349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Bird of Washington (also you're called\nBird of Freedom): you're firmly installed\nAs an emblem of dreams\nAnd American schemes\nSuch as Hair Club for Birds (you are bald).", "id": 18350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Two bow-beaked and crook-taloned birds\nCaw relentlessly, ridding the herds\nOf their dead and their spent.\nFirst a taste, then they're bent\n(Like their beaks) upon seconds and thirds.", "id": 18351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The tips of extremities\u2014these\nCan fall prey to what's called pink disease\n(Painful fingers and toes\nAnd the tip of the nose),\nSo avoid acrodynia, please.", "id": 18352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I enrolled with elan (with avidity),\nThough my interests betrayed some fluidity.\nIn college so far\nI have learned to tend bar;\nCan I get a degree in liquidity?", "id": 18354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "It's a quote almost all of us know,\nBut it isn't correct, as I'll show.\nWhen the poor had no bread\nWhat the Queen of France said\nWas, \"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche.\"  (Cake's g\u00e2teau.)", "id": 18355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "I think Brahmanism's holy in dharma,\nAnd I don't want to cause a big drama.\nBut I don't feel a traitor\nTo doubt the Creator\nExists through the process of karma.", "id": 18356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Didn't fill that new eyeglass prescription,\nAnd your books look like Greek or Egyptian?\nType set in encryption\nProvokes a conniption?\nAsthenopia fits that description!", "id": 18357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "My pound hound's a black and tan setter,\nFor squirrels and birds a go-getter.\nThere's no doubt mighty soon\nHe may nab a raccoon\nAnd be proud that he's never done better.", "id": 18358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Thoughts of sarin and toxins microbic\nSet me drowning in air anaerobic.\nIt's a panic attack\nBy the deep iron track,\nMaking me bathysiderodromophobic.", "id": 18359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Our choral director demands\nWe obey \u2014 that his word is what stands,\nAs if haloed were we.\n\"Now we sing Aura Lee!\"\nWell, how else? We can't sing with our hands.", "id": 18360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Enthralled by Anne's beauteous curves,\nThe beguiler was showing his nerves.\nHe was there to propose\nWith a ring\u2014but she knows\nIt's a ring for his nose he deserves.", "id": 18361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Yes, I boinked her. You heard me. I said it!\nJust in case you might think you misread it:\nWe fell on the bed,\nAnd my skull met her head\nWith no echo at all (to our credit).", "id": 18362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Brokeback Mountain's a flick that will addle\nMost cowboys and make them skedaddle.\nYou're pinin' away\nFor a fella who's gay?\nGet your butt, buddy, back in the saddle!", "id": 18363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In a thunderstorm, dear Uncle Bart\nWas struck down playing \"How Great Thou Art\"\nFor good cheer, far from home,\nOn his new metal comb \u2014\nAn ironical way to depart.", "id": 18364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Aerotropism's how a plant grows\nWhen it follows as oxygen flows.\nWhen it's faced with a blight\nOr it's flooded, it might\nReach for air, as its growth pattern shows.", "id": 18366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In Bern, Albert had his premiere:\nHe had published five papers one year.\nNineteen-five in this town\nFounded Einstein's renown\u2014\nIn the Kramgasse flat over here.", "id": 18367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In a liquid, like water, or glass,\nThey are spherical voids filled with gas;\nBut their shape makes us trouble\nIn foams where a bubble\nAs a dodecahedron won't pass!", "id": 18368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "EnglishBob", "limerick": "Forty-four legs and a ball,\nWhile the spectators look for a brawl:\nThough it's soccer's real name,\nThis old term for the game\nIsn't used very often at all.", "id": 18369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "Long John Silver, at first, when aland,\nHad hoped he could stand on the sand.\nBut with only one leg\nAnd the lack of a peg,\nHe got stuck, Jolly Roger in hand.", "id": 18370, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Once we spoke of them all as Burmese,\nA word we pronounced with great ease;\nNow it's \"guys from Myanmar,\"\nOr \"two gals from afar,\"\nOr \"a couple from way overseas.\"", "id": 18371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Acetylenic means having to do\nWith the bond found in C2H2.\nSuch bonds are unstable,\nSo please read the label,\nIf your reasons for living ain't few.", "id": 18372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Little tubes in your lungs carry air:\nThey're called bronchi. I think it is fair\nWhen you find they're inflamed,\nThat your smoking is blamed.\nIf your cough is bronchitic: beware!", "id": 18373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "Whenever I'm asked what I do,\nMy reply's unexpected, but true.\nI explain in all candor,\n\"I'm a hummingbird bander,\nA skill shared with only a few.\"", "id": 18374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Overcome by a bad bronchiolar\nDisease was an avid young bowler.\nThe second-hand smoke\nAt the lanes made him croak.\nNow an angel, he's one holy roller.", "id": 18375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "When I play the piano, it shocks.\nI'm so horrid, the keys should have locks.\nIt's the same when I'm playing\nThe market.  I'm saying\nI blow Chopsticks and blow blue chip stocks.", "id": 18376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I've a den to remodel and furnish;\nI'd like wainscot and leather, quite sternish.\nNot a place to relax \u2014\nI'll have woodwork to wax\nAnd scads of brass fittings to burnish.", "id": 18377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"My man,\" said the judge, \"It's been seen\nThat you're guilty. Though only sixteen,\nI must send you away\nTo Botany Bay\nFor flagrantly wearing the green.\"", "id": 18378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "A bishop who couldn't be tighter\nBought none of his robes \u2014 the cheap blighter!\nBut no vestments for hire meant\nThe surplice requirement\nWas surplus \u2014 he wore just his mitre.", "id": 18379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The Russians are Coming!'s by Benchley\n(Nathaniel); son Peter evenchley\nWrote Jaws and gained fame\nFrom a tale that's the same\u2014\nNot exactly the same but essenchley.", "id": 18380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Catching cockles and mussels, poor Joe\nSoon was caught in a strong undertow.\nAnd, as Molly Malone\nWould be prone to intone,\n\"He's no longer alive, alive-o.\"", "id": 18381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "My ballpoint, so facile and quick,\nCan write verse on its own.  What a trick!\nIt has earned such acclaim\u2014\nMy pen(tameter)'s name?\nIf it spoke, it would say, \"I am BIC.\"", "id": 18382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word bullpen: a workplace (the sort\nTo which most of us hate to report),\nIn the ballpark, a space\nFor the pitchers, a place\nIn the jail for those going to court.", "id": 18383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am bullheaded, biased\u2014what's worse\u2014\nI am wrongheaded, headstrong, perverse.\nI am pigheaded, mulish,\nSo dogged I'm foolish;\nI'm stubborn\u2014but not very terse.", "id": 18384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Scotsman one day, with a grin,\nLined up all of his kith and his kin.\nHe announced, \"We're all diggin'\nTo build me a biggin;\nGrab shovels! Get ready! Begin!\"", "id": 18385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The fellow who's called VIP\nHas arrived where we'd all like to be.\nHe has power; he may\nEven wear a toupee,\nBut a bigwig? I wouldn't agree.", "id": 18386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "There's room for a dozen of us\nIn my automobile, with no fuss.\nA stretch limo, you say?\nYou could put it that way\nIf you like; I just call it a bus.", "id": 18387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "To reproduce biogenetically,\nA partner must please me aesthetically.\nBut those that I ask\nOnly take me to task,\nSuggesting I try it synthetically.", "id": 18388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "On the press in a friend's ateli\u00e9r\nWe produced a Madonna today;\nDabbed the plate with brown goo\nSmuggled in from the zoo\nFor a monoprint, \u00e0 la poup\u00e9e.", "id": 18389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A biotelemetric device\nOffers measurements\u2014cool and precise.\nFrom afar I can note\nWith my TV remote\nThat my wife is now colder than ice.", "id": 18390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was stuck at a dinner last night\nWith a bore of a guy on my right\u2014\nTwenty minutes awash\nIn that blatherskite's bosh,\nTill I told him to go fly a kite.", "id": 18391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Be sharp!\" was a phrase from Gillette\nAnd the Friday-night fights on the set.\nBut B-sharp is a tone\u2014\nLike a ring on the phone\nOr a note on trombone or cornet.", "id": 18392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They're chocolaty, nutty, and square,\nAnd in college were fun to prepare.\nMarijuana was mixed\nIn the brownies we fixed.\nWhen we ate them, we floated on air.", "id": 18393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The city is blazoned with flags.\nEvery tree's so bedecked that it sags\nFrom the weight of its banners.\nThe festival's planners?\nWith scorn they're adorned by the wags.", "id": 18394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your radiant, glorious smile\nAnd your shimmering, glimmering style\nAre a constant delight.\nStill we're hoping you might\nGive your brightness a rest for a while.", "id": 18396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I suffered a ligament tear\nWhen I stumbled and tripped on a chair,\nBut the medics were fast\u2014\nPut my foot in a cast.\n(It's inflated\u2014I'm walking on air!)", "id": 18397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes and John Critten", "limerick": "Getting abietine out is a skill\nWhen it gunks up my turpentine still.\nYou could scrape or machine it;\nPure water won't clean it.\nHot alcohol usually will.", "id": 18398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bisphosphonate compounds abound\nIn Rx's for those with unsound\nOr weak brittle old bones,\nBut new data bemoans\nA risk to the jaw that's profound.", "id": 18399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Behold all the thespian hordes,\nFrom the lowliest lads to the lords,\nEntertaining with ageless\nAplomb, never stageless!\nAs one, they have trodden the boards.", "id": 18400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The gallery birded the actors\nWith hisses and hoots; these detractors\nBlamed lines that were twisted\nAnd missed when they listed\nTheir \"give us our money back\" factors.", "id": 18401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Beware, all ye Pepperland dwellers!\nBlue Meanies abound, and these fellers\nAre haters of pop songs.\nTheir mission? To stop songs\nBy Beatles becoming best-sellers.", "id": 18402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Across the Vilkitskogo Strait\nUp to Bolshevik Island we'll skate;\nAs we blow on our fingers,\nNo Leninist lingers\u2014\nSince icy, not red, is its state.", "id": 18403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "I'm a happy old brainwasher who\nShifts your mind till my truth is what's true.\nAnd I'll make you see why\nYour new truth is no lie.\n\"The Earth's flat!\"\u2014Now you're happier, too.", "id": 18404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The beautiful girl from Duluth\nIs a pretty but bad-mannered youth.\nThough her profile's divine,\nAnd her smile is just fine,\nHer demeanor is somewhat uncouth.", "id": 18405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "chakaal", "limerick": "So many tacticians patrician\nPursued this great Roman tradition:\nThe Sequani shattered,\nHelvetii battered,\nAnd Belgae worn down by attrition.", "id": 18406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Vegetarians sometimes might find\nThat a supplement's good for their kind;\nB12 vitamin serves\nTo build blood and build nerves,\nBut with \"animal\" foods it's aligned.", "id": 18407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "While spooning on old Lonely Heart Ridge,\nSaid Daphne, my sweet little partridge,\n\"I'll get pregnant, I fear!\"\n\"Ah, don't worry, my dear;\nAt my age I shoot a blank cartridge!\"", "id": 18408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This medical school is designed\nTo make study a bona fide grind.\nOsteology class\nIs a total morass.\nBoning up's really blowing my mind.", "id": 18409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Let the proles (not the pigs) get their share?\nIn Newspeak, that's thoughtcrime, you'll swear.\n(From the pen of George Orwell.\nI could say much more, well \u2014\nI'll say he was born Eric Blair.)", "id": 18410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Streaks of dew cross the cottage wall's rocks;\nPotted bugloss blooms blue in a box.\nEvery leaf that you touch\nLooks like nothing so much\nAs the hairy green tongue of an ox.", "id": 18411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Come to Sesame Street, be our guest.\nCheck out Big Bird's gargantuan nest.\nHe's our fine feathered friend\n(On whom kids can depend),\nHead and shoulders above all the rest.", "id": 18412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "The stock was the talk of the town\nTill you bought; then it fell from renown.\nTake my simple advice\nAnd your mean per-share price\nWill decrease: buy some more; average down.", "id": 18413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "No hero, my dog's apt to squeal.\nHis training? It just missed ideal,\nFor in canine uniqueness,\nHe does have one weakness:\nObeying, \"Achilles, now heel!\"", "id": 18414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A collector who's canny and smart\nWill be looking for good bad-debt art\u2014\nSince the owner is worried,\nThe sale may be hurried\u2014\nBut the price is the very best part.", "id": 18415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On the signboard outside the caf\u00e9:\n\"Blue-plate special\u2014five dollars today!\nAny food that one wishes!\"\nBut I don't like blue dishes,\nSo, downcast, I wandered away.", "id": 18416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Clarence Birdseye began something new\u2014\nFruits and veggies quick-frozen for you.\nThey were marketed, yes,\nWith resounding success,\nWith the help of his wise bird's-eye view.", "id": 18417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "An apophlegmatic elixir\nClears phlegm when a cough will not fix 'er.\nThat frog in your throat\nHas left slime on your coat?\nEwwww\u2014no prince will you kiss at the mixer.", "id": 18418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "As a lactose-intolerant boy,\nI am not most photographers' joy.\nI guess they don't dig my\nLoud gas (borborygmi).\nWhen others say, \"Cheese!\" I say, \"Soy!\"", "id": 18419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bolshoi's a famous ballet.\nAll its dancers can leap and pli\u00e9;\nAnd the star in the corps,\nBoris Borzoi, can soar\nWhen he raises his leg en fouett\u00e9.", "id": 18420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Confederate hero was he,\nTill this general ventured to sea,\nWhere a terrible gale\nMade him cower and quail,\nAnd to shelter ran Robert, alee.", "id": 18422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The island Vancouver's the spot\nWhere indigenous people, the Aht,\nLiked to fish from canoes\nWhile enjoying the views\nWhere today people cruise on a yacht.", "id": 18424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Associations are easy to make,\nBut a few can be risky to break.\nWhen a guy in the mob\nTries to quit, it's my job\nTo deposit his corpse in a lake.", "id": 18425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Chirac sought d\u00e9tente, and it showed\nWhen he served, sur la tarte, Rocky Road.\nHe was making a push\nTo be friendly to Bush:\n\"I adore apple pie \u00e0 la mode!\"", "id": 18426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm boxing a friar named Babbitt,\nA rabbit-punch cheater, dagnabbit!\nThis monk, 'e's a threat\nI'm determined to get\nOff my back. I'll be kicking this abbot!", "id": 18427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Recognition, acknowledgements, praise!\nFrom my colleagues! I'm still in a daze.\nThey kept giving me fits,\nMaking work here the pits,\nTill I tried antiperspirant sprays.", "id": 18428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Not too many will stand up and fight;\nBe the voice for what matters, what's right.\nOnce, Ray Bradbury told\nA tale, timeless and bold,\nAgainst censoring words that ignite.", "id": 18429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The pothole was huge\u2014that's a fact,\nAnd the city went out and attacked\nIt with bushels of patch\u2014\nA two-hogshead-sized batch!\n\"That would make it a butthole,\" I cracked.", "id": 18430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "It sounds like math's greatest sensation\u2014\nIt isn't. The alpha equation\nIs just an expression\nOf finance regression\nGround out of a five-year duration.", "id": 18431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "I'm brunette, as you clearly can see\u2014\nMy hair's dark, as I like it to be.\nSome men are more fond\nOf a girl who is blonde;\nThey don't care that she's dumber than I.", "id": 18432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "While writing a limerick solo,\nFor the rhyme on line two I chose polo.\nThe rhyme for line four\nWas at best bottom-drawer,\nAnd line five, I admit, was below low.", "id": 18433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "A breath's when you're drawing in air,\nOr you're blowing it out; but don't dare\nTo breathe out in my face,\nAs the smell's a disgrace.\nBowser, chew on that bone over there!", "id": 18434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and waterrocks", "limerick": "Wouldst thou blench me, thou dastardly rogue?\nForsooth, is the truth not in vogue?\nWouldst thou cheat and deceive?\nWouldst thou have me believe\nI should trust thee to handle my pogue?", "id": 18435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "GeneralE", "limerick": "I've wondered what dentist would conjure\nA torture device (orthodonture).\nAt first it seemed grand,\nThen he glued on a band!\n'ow eye OW uh-uh-IH-uh eh AW-eh.", "id": 18436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Shooting dice, he invariably crapped,\nAnd in love he was so often slapped.\nJust imagine his thrill\nUpon finding a skill,\nWhen with Microsoft Word he was \"apped\".", "id": 18437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "On the campus they call me a booster\u2014\nWhat they mean is I crow like a rooster\nFor meets at the track.\n(Got a keg in the back,\nSo my friends, they all call me the brewster.)", "id": 18438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Duded up like a shiny new Lexus,\nGene Autry came riding from Texas\nTo make movies and songs\nAnd to right cowboy wrongs,\nShooting crooks in the celiac plexus.", "id": 18439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The metal's sharp shine will entice\nMe to skate on the rink in a trice:\nEach boot with its blade\nLends me speed that's displayed\nAs I slice across shimmering ice.", "id": 18440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "I am known as a vitamin freak\nWho downs eighty-four pills every week.\nWhen arthritic joints throb,\nI don't whimper or sob.\nNo \u2014 I rattle in time with the creak.", "id": 18441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"Tally Ho!\" cried the huntsman with glee;\n\"If you value the chase, follow me!\nSee the fox over there\nIn the wood, by his lair?\nHe'll break covert and run, wait and see!\"", "id": 18442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Nasty sores in embarrassing places\nPut a stop to your lover's embraces?\nAciclovir heals\nHerpes simplex's wheals:\nAntivirals put smiles back on faces.", "id": 18443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A little acaudate  green frog\nWas swimming around by a log.\nHis tail went away\nOne bright summer day\nWhile he'd been a tad in the bog.", "id": 18445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a fellowship, order, or club\nHaving members with elbows that rub.\nThese are people who share\nCommon interests. So where\nDoes my gang like to meet? At the pub!", "id": 18446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Sally's silly to sully (besmirch)\nThe good name of our neighborhood church.\nShe's concluded the place\nIs a dirty disgrace,\nBased on gossip. (She calls it \"research.\")", "id": 18447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A driver need not be a thinker\nTo indicate turns with a blinker.\nA nitwit can learn\nHow to signal a turn:\nJust maneuver the lever, you stinker.", "id": 18448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In a room at the end of the hall,\nBluebeard's wife (number seven) found all\nOf the previous six\nHighly moribund chicks.\nShe herself had a very close call.", "id": 18449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My anxiety always increased\nWhen I faced my absolver, the priest.\nI'd admit that I cussed,\nThen confess to my lust\nFor a nun (which was last but not least).", "id": 18450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The border patrol is in place,\nBut unable to lessen the pace\nOf illegals who sneak\nIn our country each week.\nThese are boarders most folks don't embrace.", "id": 18451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"It's a spindle and axle,\" he laughed.\n\"Helps in cutting my pole-axe's haft.\nI've a glorious tool\nWith an arbor, you fool,\nAnd today you'll be getting the shaft.\"", "id": 18452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abyssinians lived on the Nile,\nA people of substance and style.\nWhere their kingdom was grand\nEthiopians stand\u2014\nIn a land where survival takes guile.", "id": 18454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A parson resides on a hill\nBy an old uninhabited mill.\nWhen he's out in the dark,\nThere's a match and a spark.\nSeems the parson thinks arson's a thrill.", "id": 18455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "She's a devil and angel, it seems;\nSuch extremes from the girl of my dreams.\nThat's a story we hear\nIn some song every year\u2014\nOne of pop music's popular themes.", "id": 18456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The three types of borers I see\nAre the insects that drill through a tree,\nThe marine clams that strip\nAll the wood from a ship,\nAnd these drips who are droning at me.", "id": 18457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Barcelona provided the name\n(And an expo a measure of fame)\nFor a chair without arms,\nBut demonstrable charms\u2014\nFor the elderly, weary, and lame.", "id": 18458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Reading Seuss to my son through the month\nBrings ingenious lexical funth.\nHow amazing these times\nAnd astounding the rhymes!\nI suggest that you try it\u2014just oneth!", "id": 18459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm laying these blocks on the floor\nAnd the ceilings and walls, and what's more,\nIf those creatures I spied\nTry to slither inside,\nThen I'll brick up the windows and door.", "id": 18460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a sudden, intensive campaign\nFrom a Madison Avenue brain.\nIt's a bombing attack,\nOr a rush by a back.\nTo the victims, each blitz is a bane.", "id": 18461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A pain of a brother was Chris,\nAnd his brattiness angered his sis.\nOnce he ruined her tea\nWhen he wouldn't agree\nTo give Freddy, her froggy, a kiss.", "id": 18462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They're serving the ice cream in bricks\u2014\nLots of flavors for making our picks.\nAnd our children delight\nFrom their very first bite\nTo those nose-smearing, plate-clearing licks.", "id": 18463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If brackets are used in a quote,\nThen the author intends to denote\nThat what's written inside\nIs a comment or guide\nFor the reader: \"That's all that [Poe] wrote.\"", "id": 18464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a fat farm, a porker named Pearl\nMet a surgeon who sent her awhirl.\nBetween him and the gym,\nShe's an utterly trim\nAnd bodaciously tata'ed young girl.", "id": 18465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My jump was much worse than I'd planned on;\nThey'd bungled the net I would land on.\nIn court they'll be ruing\nMy basis for suing:\nI don't have a leg here to stand on!", "id": 18466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An encomium honored a man\nAs his biodegrading began:\n\"Dearest Ludwig: While dozing,\nHave fun decomposing!\"\n(It eulogized Beethoven, van.)", "id": 18467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Queen Victoria's challenge was hurled,\nAnd America's foresail unfurled.\nOut of Cowes, Isle of Wight,\nBeating Brits left and right,\nRaced the schooner that conquered the world.", "id": 18468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This curly-haired moppet was flip,\nAn impertinent actress with zip.\nShirley Temple, it seems,\nHad Good Lollipop dreams;\nShirley Black, an ambassadorship.", "id": 18469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bowknot's embellishing loops\nAre arrayed in a couple of groups\nTo the left and the right\nOf a knot that is tight.\nIf it's loose, you could trip and go \"Whoops!\"", "id": 18470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are blasters encased in a cap;\nGolf has blasters you use in a trap.\nOther blasters hold sand,\nBut the ones I can't stand\nAre those ghetto bass-blasters of rap!", "id": 18471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Barramunda's a wonderful fish\nThat Down Under is served as a dish.\nIt gets cut into strips\nAnd then fried with your chips.\nWith a Foster's to sip, it's delish.", "id": 18472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're my wife and you've caught me, I fear.\nNow you're mad; that's abundantly clear.\nBut I gotta confess\u2014\nIn these shoes and this dress,\nI look cute when you're angry, my dear.", "id": 18473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This taunting by teens may be hackneyed,\nBut renders recipients slack-kneed.\nYou're hopelessly pocked\nAnd (hey, pizza face!) mocked\nBy the crowd. It's the pits to be acned!", "id": 18474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A word that is melded, like brunch,\nIs a blend (here of breakfast and lunch).\nSince it's mid-afternoon\nAnd, for supper, too soon,\nIs this food that I'm munching my sunch?", "id": 18475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On an armrest he's mounted a gun;\nIn the cushions are tasers that stun.\nAt the back are the jets;\nIt's as good as it gets\nWhen your son thinks an armchair is fun!", "id": 18477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Jamaican, a big-bellied mon,\nSings of ladies and getting it on.\nIn a lyric, his girth\nIs the topic of mirth\nFrom St. Croix all the way to San Juan.", "id": 18478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aviculture: this wonderful word\nUses avis (that's Latin for \"bird\")\nAnd combines it with culture,\nWhich leads me to vulture\u2014\nA creature that flies, I've inferred!", "id": 18479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When antimetathesis is\nWhat they test on the rhetoric quiz,\nFirst I pray and I curse,\nThen I do the reverse,\n'Cause at figures of speech I'm a whiz.", "id": 18480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As an action man, ballsy and British,\nJames Bond makes his enemies skittish.\nHe's the master of cool\u2014\nVery suave, while that fool\nAustin Powers is shaggingly twittish.", "id": 18481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A professor of math was astounded\nBy coeds with booties so rounded.\nThey were shapely and stacked,\nYet, withal, quite compact:\nHence, by Heine-Borel, closed and bounded.", "id": 18482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An apple that grows in Peru\nFeatures blossoms of violet blue.\nIt's an annual plant,\nOrnamental. I can't\nRecommend it (for eating) to you.", "id": 18483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A philosopher blazed a new path\nWith original thinking in math.\nDid Pascal give a scrub\nTo his thoughts in the tub\nAnd thus Blaise his Pens\u00e9es in the bath?", "id": 18484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My hubby's new hobby is x,\nAs in axial, xebec, and hex.\nSince starting to dabble\nIn tournament Scrabble,\nHe's axially better at sex.", "id": 18485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our draft claims he's richer than Croesus\u2014\nA possibly spurious thesis.\nIn light of my doubt,\nI could edit it out\nOr perhaps add a quick athetesis.", "id": 18486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A fisherman's ardor draws static;\nHis wife is abrupt and emphatic:\n\"Bad news for you, ducky;\nNo way you'll get lucky\nTonight\u2014I've a horrible haddock.\"", "id": 18487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Near the Tigris, Assyrians strode\u2014\nAncient people who followed a code:\nMaking fun of the phony 'n'\nDumb Babylonian\nAsses who lived down the road.", "id": 18488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This actinomyxidian's firm\u2014\nWell-entrenched in the guts of a worm,\nWhich inhabits my friend,\nWho's a mooch. At the end\nOf this parasite sequence, I squirm.", "id": 18489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A letter that's common is ess.\nWhen it's missing, it causes me stress.\nThis anxiety, rising,\nIs always surprising\u2014\nMy esslessness makes me a mess.", "id": 18490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The shortstop is ready to pounce,\nWhen the ball takes a towering bounce.\nIt's a Baltimore chop\n(Takes forever to drop):\nNot the greatest of hits, but it counts.", "id": 18491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bomb from a plane is en route\nTo the ground and deploys a ballute,\nThus providing some drag\nAnd avoiding a snag\nWhen the time comes to open the chute.", "id": 18492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If the experts refuse to assess\nEvery word that is spelled with an ess,\nMight they miss the eight esses\nOne word now possesses,\nEvincing assesslessness? Yes!", "id": 18493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A lama may guide us to wrathlessness,\nAnd a ride on a llama beats pathlessness,\nWhile by bathing just once\nIn a month, I'm a dunce,\n'Cause from Mama I can't hide my bathlessness.", "id": 18494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This razor is made out of steel,\nWith a single-edged band that could peel\nOff a layer of skin\nFrom your chinny-chin-chin,\nMaking shaving a painful ordeal.", "id": 18495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a world we have dubbed the beau monde,\nWhere the women are wealthy and blonde.\nHigh society's passion\nIs money and fashion.\nI'm happy to fish in my pond.", "id": 18497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My boss is a boob and a boor,\nOne whose manners are worse than just poor.\nYou might ask, with this slob,\nWhy I stay on the job.\nIt's the six-figure paycheck, I'm sure.", "id": 18498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Rues a native of Nassau named Damien,\n\"They can't build a coffin to lay me in!\"\nIt's the carpenter's fear:\nFabricating a bier\nFor a 300-kilo Bahamian.", "id": 18499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antimodernists often are styled\nNeo-luddites; as such, they're reviled.\nBut on reading their stuff,\nWhich I found sane enough,\nIt was so darned quixotic, I smiled.", "id": 18500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our bursae are fluid-filled sacks\nNear our elbows, our knees and our backs.\nWhen they're working and fit,\nWe don't feel them a bit,\nBut they hurt when bursitis attacks.", "id": 18501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A well-informed person who knows art,\nAnd can tell Aaron Copland from Mozart,\nIf he hasn't learned French,\nMay look blank when you ment-\n-ion the name of your study as beaux-arts.", "id": 18502, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Text abridged I supply:\nI'm a summary guy.\n\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\nAt condensing I'm apt, which is why\nI'm ideal as a summary guy.\nI abridge lots of text\nAnd you won't be perplexed.\nA good abstract is what I supply.", "id": 18503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Jakob's crimes were especially vile,\nSay the charges recorded on file.\nThe court that will sit\nHas two outcomes\u2014acquit\nOr convict him. (Bernoulli's on trial.)", "id": 18504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A waterside inn's personnel\nServe the showy, the chic, and the swell.\nGuests arrive at the dock\nIn their yachts and then flock\nTo the door of this four-star boatel.", "id": 18505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you dress \u00e0 la mode, you are chic\nAnd belong to the toniest clique.\nYou exhibit a passion\nFor trendy high fashion.\nBut me? I'm a Gucci-less geek.", "id": 18506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The antiquities lining this room\nWere unearthed near King Ptolemy's tomb.\nThey're millennia old,\nMade of silver and gold,\nAnd if sold, spell the purchaser's doom.", "id": 18507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bit can be lengthy or quick,\nLike a show-biz routine or a shtick\u2014\nOr a comedy skit\nDone with second-rate wit\nThat's a bit entertaining and slick.", "id": 18508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We have an expression from sport\nThat defines when it's time to report\nThe response that you'll make\nTo the stance that I take.\nSo I tell you, \"The ball's in your court.\"", "id": 18509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Amaxophobia's fear that is sparked\nIn a vehicle, moving or parked.\nI once fought this neurosis\nWith autohypnosis,\nTook a test drive, but soon disembarked.", "id": 18510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "For some bluegrass I went to Kentucky.\nLiked the grass, liked the music that's plucky.\nFed some grass to a cow.\nShe Mood Indigo. Now,\nIf you all like my pun, I'll be lucky.", "id": 18511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "There's a couple who hailed from Albania\nWith the worst case of bibliomania.\nThese antiquities crooks\nStole three thousand rare books \u2014\nSomething just wasn't right in their crania.", "id": 18512, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "laurajhawk", "limerick": "The barn owl is thin and prolific.\nThe sounds he can make are horrific.\nHe screams and he burbles\nAnd likes to eat gerbils\n(Or rodents, to be less specific).", "id": 18513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Her fine reputation was tarred\nIn their ads, by the \"liberal\" card.\nThey'd been sure of the meanings\nOf bleeding heart leanings.\n(She'd praised the pink plants in her yard.)", "id": 18514, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The film 'round which Sam's case revolved\nBy mistake had been fully dissolved.\nSuch things didn't matter\nTo Sergeant McPhatter;\nHe'd bird-dog it 'til it was solved.", "id": 18515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "While assonance isn't a rhyme,\nI'm confused by that much of the time.\nDoes word rhyme with girl?\nCan I give it a whirl?\nOr would editors find it a crime?", "id": 18516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Help me brainstorm; I need a good rhyme,\nAnd I'll need it in just three lines' time.\n Chime, lime, mime, crime, grime, slime,\n Climb, dime, primetime, sublime.\nGood suggestions... I think I'll use orange.", "id": 18517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ice cream sundaes will brighten your day,\nWhile a spotlight helps brighten a play.\n If you're travel-inclined,\n South of London you'll find\nA nice borough called Brighton to stay.", "id": 18518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A young man from the Duchy of Kent\nHad a very ascetical bent.\n To himself he denied\n Everything but a bride,\nWhom he'd give up each year during Lent.", "id": 18519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "If I'm too apathetic, then I'm\nUnresponsive for most of the time.\n When there's work to prepare,\n I just stare and don't care;\nI'm indifferent.\n\n\u2014But not with my rhyme!", "id": 18520, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "While unearthing a burial shrine,\nSomeone spotted me, yelling, \"You swine!\"\n I replied, \"I'm no pig;\n It's a government dig.\nSo don't worry, this tomber's benign.\"", "id": 18521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though a blessing is God's benediction,\nWe say \"Bless you!\" for sneezing affliction.\n What your nose may have stored\n Has been blessed by the Lord,\nWhich to me is an odd contradiction.", "id": 18522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A honeybee brat loved to drive\nHis cockney queen mad with his jive.\n\"Buzz off,\" she would moan,\nYou...you 'orrible drone!\nGo aw'y to your room or beehive!\"", "id": 18523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Once Khrushchev and Marx would dictate\nA Bulgarian's life, love and fate.\nThat's archaic and vulgar \u2014\nYour modern-day Bulgar\nIs free from the communist state.", "id": 18524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In my travels, wherever I roam,\nI attempt to come up with a poem.\nI'm in Auburn tonight.\nThat's a city you might\n(If you're North Californian) call home.", "id": 18525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the Florence Bargello, a chair\nHas upholstery showing some wear.\nThere's a zigzagging stitch\nDone in needlepoint, which\nHas a 17th-century flair.", "id": 18527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With his kitchen all business and bustle,\nA billi-bi cook has to hustle.\nHe's knocked for a loop\nGetting cream for the soup,\nAnd he whines about pulling a mussel.", "id": 18528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One-to-one correspondence, for sets,\nIs an intimate link; and it gets\nEven better, they say,\nWhen it goes either way.\nBiuniqueness both aids and abets.", "id": 18529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A switch with a couple of states\n(Only two equilibria, mates)\nHas been tagged with a label:\nIt's known as bistable,\nWhich speaks to just one of its traits.", "id": 18530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are disciplines under attack\u2014\nUniversities taking some flak.\nTo the folks on the right,\nEthnic study's a blight,\nBe it Asian, Latino, or black.", "id": 18531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My golf ball is buried in sand\nAt the front of the trap where I stand.\nI keep blasting away\nWith my wedge, so today\nLet's just say that my score won't be grand.", "id": 18532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My derby's a place where my cat\nLikes to sit, and it's now a bit flat.\nSo I'll take it on down\nTo a man in our town\nWho's an expert at blocking a hat.", "id": 18533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A humorist's plying his trade,\nAnd his comedy's black as a spade.\nIt's ironic, grotesque,\nWith a bit of burlesque.\nHuman folly is skewered and flayed.", "id": 18534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I awake with my ass in a cast,\nOnly vaguely recalling the blast.\nSince I'm lucky today\nTo be living, I pray\nThat that firework I sat on's my last!", "id": 18535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The opponent's best hitter's up last.\nNow the fans in the stands are aghast\nWhen the pitch to the plate\nIs too fat and its fate\nIs a Ruthian, fence-clearing blast.", "id": 18536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're convinced that his argument lacks\nA foundation in practical facts,\nSo you get his attention\nAnd pointedly mention\nIt's time to get down to brass tacks.", "id": 18537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An ambitious young poet named Gorange\nWho lives in the village of Florange\nIs spending his time\nIn a quest for a rhyme.\nHe's determined to find one for . . . silver!", "id": 18538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When I'm flipping a coin, what I use\nIs a biased one\u2014clearly a ruse\nThat will give me an edge.\nMy additional hedge\nIs this call: \"Heads I win, tails you lose.\"", "id": 18539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Man, this buffalo grass has a bite\u2014\nNew York's finest\u2014I'm high as a kite!\nWhat? You're sayin' it's not\nReally dynamite pot?\nThis is hay I've been smokin' all night?", "id": 18540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bureaucratized government's tools\nRun to hierarchy, functions, and rules.\nTo the typical Fed,\nTape is ample and red.\nIt's a specialized system\u2014for fools.", "id": 18541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our government's one of the kind\nIn which bureaucratism's designed\nFor incompetent fools\nTo determine the rules,\nSo most citizens pay it no mind.", "id": 18542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The robberies breaking the peace\nIn the town were expected to cease,\nBut the borough ain't winning,\nCuz crooks are beginning\nTo burgle the burghal police!", "id": 18543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're bulldogging (throwing a steer),\nGrab its horns, twist its neck, have no fear.\nTake it down to the ground,\nRope its legs, leave them bound.\nHear the fans at the rodeo cheer.", "id": 18544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In tufts and in clumps and in bunches,\nThese grasses are animals' lunches.\nA perennial plant\nLike the bunchgrass just can't\nWait for snowfall, when nobody munches.", "id": 18545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Surrounding our prez is a group\nOf advisors who give him the scoop\nOn important affairs,\nYet he acts unawares.\nDo the brain trusters know he's a stupe?", "id": 18546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "County fairs in Missouri are neat;\nI saw bullriding cowboys compete.\nThe testosterone flowed,\nBut the riders got throwed,\n'Cause the bulls were the athletes to beat.", "id": 18547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bryozoan: this creature (marine)\nLives in colonies frequently seen\nStuck to piers. What's the job\nOf this jelly-like blob?\nIt's a water-filtration machine.", "id": 18548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Yet again standing off to the side\nOf a couple whose knot's getting tied\nIs this wedding attendant,\nDemure and resplendent:\nThe bridesmaid who's never the bride.", "id": 18549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The curculio's pal and successor,\nA billbug, is quite the impresser.\nNow the other bugs boo\nThe curculio, who\u2014\nOf two weevils\u2014is clearly the lesser.", "id": 18550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Her bulldog tenacity grows,\nKeeping loved ones and friends on their toes.\nGive her something to hold\nAnd it's firmly controlled.\nThat's as plain as the ring through my nose.", "id": 18551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What begins as the tiniest tear,\nWill in time, at the cinema, blear\nEvery eye in the house\n(Even those of my spouse)\nWhen a mother leaves Bambi, the deer.", "id": 18552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Acipenser's a genus of fishes.\nTheir scales can be bony, but wishes\nAre not what you make\nFrom the sturgeon you take\u2014\nIt's that roe of fine caviar dishes.", "id": 18553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A blackfish, both hungry and dumb,\nSees a hammerhead munching on chum.\nSwimming up to the shark,\nNow the tautog's a mark\nAnd in no time it's food he'll become.", "id": 18554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Despite clouds at the beach, I had fun,\nFell asleep, then awoke around one.\nThe sky was ablaze\nFrom old Sol and his gaze.\nI got burned by a bitch of a sun.", "id": 18555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This liqueur is a yellowish-green,\nAnd its aniseed flavor is clean.\nI absinthiate drinks\n(Though the wormwood just stinks),\nSince the kick it produces is mean.", "id": 18556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's burlap and canvas and wool,\nThree materials sack makers pull\nFrom their shelves when they're tagging\nThe fabrics for bagging\n(Or bragging and shooting the bull).", "id": 18557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A noisemaking nuisance named Neville\nIs randy and ready to revel.\nBut his spouse, who's a grouse,\nSays their bi-level house\n(Just two floors) ain't for raising the devil.", "id": 18558, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When your property's burned to the ground\nWith malicious intent, and it's found\nTo be criminal fraud,\nSome insurers applaud,\nAlthough victims of arson abound.", "id": 18559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Black money is income you net\nFrom your gambling or hooking; and yet\nWhen you're doing your taxes,\nIt slips through the crackses.\nIt's funny the facts you forget!", "id": 18560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was a man from Riyadh\nWho joined the Islamic Jihad.\nHe strapped on a bomb,\nSaid goodbye to his mom,\nAnd then blew himself up for his God.", "id": 18561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Uncle Sam, in the posters I'd see,\nHad a finger that pointed at me.\nHe implored, \"I Want YOU!\"\nIn the '90s, he'd woo\nWith a slogan: Be All You Can Be.", "id": 18562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The battleship's tops in the fleet;\nIt's a vessel that's hard to defeat.\nAt a distance it stuns\nWith its powerful guns,\nAnd its armor no harmer can beat.", "id": 18563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The two-letter words that I play\nIn Scrabble seem odd and outr\u00e9.\nHere I'm hanging a bingo\n(That's tray-clearing lingo),\nAnd ar means the letter, okay?", "id": 18564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My hubby's new hobby is verse:\nWriting limericks\u2014and, hey, it gets worse!\nHe's a master of rhyme\nWho no longer has time\nTo play doctor while I'm playing nurse.", "id": 18565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Oslo, one tenet is chief\u2014\nA belief with a Viking motif:\nSince a son so well-bred\nCame from Erik the Red,\nMost Norwegians are prone to be Leif.", "id": 18567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the Bounty the crew was aroar\nAs the lifeboat was struggling to shore.\nIt was carrying Bligh,\nWho looked backwards to spy\nChristian grinning and waving the oar.", "id": 18568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Beta particles: What can I say\nOf these products of beta decay?\nThey're electrons that spew\nFrom the nucleus . . . (Ooh,\nI'm a sly beta master today!)", "id": 18569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Where are country and western and dancin'\nAnd music from Broadway entrancin'?\nWhere do fans whoop and holler\nTo pay bottom dollar?\nIn America's touristy Branson.", "id": 18570, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When leukemia's deep in the bone\nAs a chronic disease, it's been shown\nThat busulfan prevents\nMany growths\u2014your defense\nTill your marrow can go it alone.", "id": 18571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A clown can be funny or sad,\nBut this bozo's indecently clad.\nWould that someone would tell Boze,\n\"Your elbows? They're hell, Boze!\nStriped patches look awful with plaid.\"", "id": 18572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the pet store, I bought an iguana\nWho bosses me 'round like he's bwana.\nIt sticks in my craw\nThat I'm under his paw,\nSo my next pet's a hungry piranha.", "id": 18573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks and David", "limerick": "You can find one in H and in A,\nIn the middle there, marking the way\nFrom the left to the right\nTo prevent readers' fright.\nBarless H's cause L-ish dismay.", "id": 18575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "\"It's the hospital here, please come fast!\"\nThere we sat, with our thoughts from the past.\nAt the side of her bed\nNothing more could be said.\nOne short breath ... then one more ... then her last.", "id": 18576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "George declared he would be a uniter,\nBut continues to act like a fighter.\nBipartisan pacts\nAre unnatural acts\nWhen they're wrong on the left, and you're righter.", "id": 18577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and SheilaB", "limerick": "Bariatrics: The study of folks\nSo obese they're in danger of strokes.\nThey're excessively fat,\nAnd a reason for that?\nAll the steaks and the cakes and the cokes!", "id": 18578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "This assay and assayer five-liner\nUses try as the former's definer.\nWhat assayers are for?\nWell, they analyze ore.\nYou can ask any old forty-niner.", "id": 18579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Achritochromacy grieves\nEvery color-blind person who weaves\nThrough a garden's displays\nBut can only see grays,\nSo the flowers have hues like their leaves.", "id": 18580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The play the coach drew on the blackboard\nWas wooden and flat; it left Shaq bored.\nSo O'Neal tried to dunk,\nBut he tripped like a drunk,\nAnd they carried him out on the backboard.", "id": 18581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "An allopathy treatment expects\nTo cure through opposing effects.\nEach symptom's abated\nBy being negated.\nIncompatible's how it corrects.", "id": 18582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "\"TIG!\" comes the shout, and the chase\nStarts again, so we dash for that place\nWhere we cannot get caught,\nAnd where time can be bought,\n'Cause, in this game, the bench is the base.", "id": 18583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A defenceman who played as a Leaf,\nBill Barilko's career was quite brief:\nShot the puck, lit the lamp\nAs a Stanley Cup champ,\nBut his mission for fishin' caused grief.", "id": 18584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you fish with a Baptist, I hear\nThat the need for another is clear.\nIf you take along two,\nThey'll be proper and true;\nOnly one, and he'll drink all your beer.", "id": 18585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If they can't sell a shot at the pub,\nThen brown bagging it makes a good sub.\nWhen you're looking to fix her\nA drink, buy their mixer,\nAnd add your own booze at the club.", "id": 18586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "'Mongst all the big fauna on earth,\nThe polar bear sports a large girth.\nThis feature just might\nHelp explain, every night,\nWhy he gives himself such a wide berth.", "id": 18587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A gray-hair, tr\u00e8s ch\u00e8re, named Flamingo\nEschewed naughty words in her lingo;\nNever dared to say \"Fo!\"\nLike a commonplace schmo,\n'Cept when one of her cronies yelled \"Bingo!\"", "id": 18588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "When you're writing that letter to Ma,\nKeep it simple \u2014 not too la-di-da.\n(If by chance she's bilingual,\nThe odd foreign thing will\nPerhaps add some je ne sais quoi.)", "id": 18589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a yeoman who's steadfast, on guard\nAt the Tower of London's old yard.\nThough he answers to Beefeater,\nWatch! he's a leaf eater \u2014\nMaking his name a canard.", "id": 18590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Meet my butcher \u2014 my ham-handed crony;\nMost times what he tells you is phony.\nWhen he ventures his meat\nIs the best (\"Can't be beat!\"),\nRest assured that he's full of baloney.", "id": 18591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I know accurate spellings express\nWords exactly \u2014 I strive for no less.\nI was writing my wife\n'Bout my limericking life \u2014\nGot in Dutch by misspelling misstress.", "id": 18592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It will bug you and leave you no rest,\nTry your patience, perhaps make you stressed.\nIt will take all your time\nFor just five lines of rhyme;\nIt's a limerick, my friends, an' a pest.", "id": 18593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Go gather some drunks.  Here's the theory:\nIt pays to make friends with the beery.\nIn ill-vented rooms\nYou get high off the fumes.\nClose the door!  Let's breathe deep!  Let's get cheery.", "id": 18594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An industrious student named Ddl\nLost his way in a library ccl.\nIn search of a drum,\nHe's increasingly glum.\nSeems the quest has him over a bbl.", "id": 18595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Trading stocks?  All or nothing is when\nYou have marked up your bid AON.\nPartial fills will not do,\nBut the name is a clue\nThat the market's a gambler's den.", "id": 18596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh and SheilaB", "limerick": "On this blue day my mood is blue, too...\nPerhaps a new dress of that hue\nOr an e-mail from out\nOf the blue that's about\nA few blue jokes that aren't very blue?", "id": 18597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A blackout's a chilling sensation:\nFirst dizziness, then the formation\nOf blackness that creeps\nAcross vision, and sweeps\nMe away to a dark destination.", "id": 18598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When you're woebegone, down, feeling low,\nYou need someone to whom you can go \u2014\nWho will help you take stock,\nAs your mainstay, your rock,\nAnd your anchor. You need one, you know.", "id": 18599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Brachydactylous fellows, unite\nAnd stand up to our enemy's spite!\nAll hands to the bridge, it's\nHigh time we, whose digits\nAre underdeveloped, should fight!", "id": 18600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable and David Franks", "limerick": "What's the mark of an artiad? Why,\nFree electrons in even supply.\nA perissad's count\nWill be odd in amount.\n(And you thought that all science was dry!)", "id": 18601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "You want me to visit your hut\nAnd lie on your bearskin\u2014for what?\nIn my bare skin, all nude?\nWell, please don't think me rude,\nBut how dare you imply I'm a slut!", "id": 18602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Thanks to his (and my) bottle, last week\nI got sacked by a druggist for cheek.\nI had said, \"I'm unable\nTo print on that label \u2014\nBottles jammed into printers, Boss, leak!\"", "id": 18603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "For a nose he'd a bulbous monstrosity \u2014\nSuch a spherical, pink curiosity\nThat the doctors were stunned\nBy this conk so rotund,\nWith its roundness and swollen bulbosity.", "id": 18604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Although analog was all the rage,\nWe are now in the digital age.\nTo convert 'cross the board,\nYou may wish to record\nData using an ADR gauge.", "id": 18605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Atlanta, the Hawks run and jump,\nWhile the Falcons both tackle and bump.\nThese professional teams\nHarbor similar dreams:\nBe a champ, like the Braves, not a chump.", "id": 18607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our cousin the priest is an Anglican\u2014\nA scrawny, Episcopal, gangly kin.\nTo build up his weight,\nWe put pie on his plate\nAnd each evening he's lemon meringue lickin'.", "id": 18608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's content to be bopping along\nAs his boom box is blasting a song.\nThat's not good for his ears;\nHe'll be deaf in some years.\nWould my joy from that knowledge be wrong?", "id": 18609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"The defendant arrived at the port,\nTook the coke to a beachside resort.\nI walked up, said hello,\nAnd he sold me the blow.\"\nSaid the narc, as a witness in court.", "id": 18612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There were beautiful women and men\nIn antiquity, way way back when.\nBy their statues' physiques,\nAncient Romans and Greeks\nWould have all gotten ratings of ten.", "id": 18613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I'm illiterate; books are a pain.\nI'm dyslexic as well, so it's plain:\nI can't read.  Oh, why can't I?\nBesides, since I'm anti-\nintellectual, who needs my brain?", "id": 18614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm in love since I met my Yvette,\nWho has hair that's a lovely brunet.\nThough I'd always been fond\nOf the girls who were blond,\nIt's a switch I will never regret.", "id": 18615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "While Caribbean reefs are all right\nIn the daytime, you may not catch sight\nOf a basket star, moray,\nOr octopus foray.\nFor nocturnals, go diving at night.", "id": 18616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The magician waved scarves fringed with gold.\nThen he tied them together and rolled\nThem up tight in a ball,\nWith a knife cut them all,\nSqueezed the pieces, tossed scarves, cried, \"Behold!\"", "id": 18617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Our community mayor's a clown:\nThe new library budget's shot down.\nBut I'll still find a tome\nIn a place near my home\nWhen the bookmobile rolls into town.", "id": 18618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "For biconical shape, take a cone;\nPlace one more, point-to-point, like a bone.\nThus bow-tie arrayed,\nAn antenna is made,\nFor the Super-High-Frequency zone.", "id": 18619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It's not healthy to hold back the tide\nOf emotions you lock deep inside.\nWhat you've bottled up tight\nWill most likely ignite\u2014\nIt's the fall that comes after the pride.", "id": 18620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I was trying to sleep on the plane.\nGot a crick in my neck (what a pain)\u2014\nPut my hip out of whack,\nBut the day I got back,\nMy fine bone cracker took out the strain.", "id": 18621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "This theorem by Birkhoff got raves:\nWhen a star that's collapsing behaves\nLike symmetrical balls,\nIf it falls or it stalls,\nThere are no gravitational waves.", "id": 18622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On the seventh I picked up my wood,\nStretched my arms a touch more than I should.\nAs I swung from my pivot,\nMy club tore a divot;\nTo baff does the fairway no good.", "id": 18623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"It's now time for some simple reviews.\nWhether made up of pistons or screws,\nA standard compressor,\"\nHeld forth our professor,\n\"Is sized by the term 'BTUs'\".", "id": 18624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Floral complements augment the spell\nOf a fancy occasion, so tell\nHer the touch for a gent\nAt a black-tie event:\nTuck a boutonniere in his lapel.", "id": 18625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Like a top-heavy manic flamingo,\nShe stood up, shook her arms, and yelled \"Bingo!\"\nWe gaped at her, rapt,\nAs her upper arms flapped;\nThey were bingo wings. (Such is the lingo.)", "id": 18626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When Jack made me sad, made me cry,\nFor revenge, I got wrapped up with Sy.\nMy dad waved his gun,\nSaid, \"You're marryin' her, son!\"\nI'm a blunderbuss \u2014 kissed the wrong guy!", "id": 18627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Anapest, boring old anapest!\nMetrical tyrant, arcana pest.\nFancy a spell o' these\nDactylic melodies?\nNot quite so catchy, that's manifest.", "id": 18628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "My father found bandwagons fun.\nFrom exposure like that I would run.\nHe, rather than scold me,\n\"De gustibus\" told me,\n\"Non est disputandum, my son.\"", "id": 18629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In D.C., a political faction\nOn the Hill kills a bill \u2014 there's no traction.\nIntroduce legislation?\nThat leads to frustration:\nAn example of Congress in action.", "id": 18631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A blanket term's frequently heard\nTo generalise greatly. Absurd!\nThe confusion's made worse,\nSince the group's so diverse:\nThe distinctions get buried or blurred.", "id": 18632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "They grow their own spices and teas.\nThey make their own clothing and cheese.\nThey don't borrow or lend;\nOn themselves they depend.\nAutarkic they are, if you please.", "id": 18633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "For discipline, here is our ship's\nChief Enforcer.  He'll tear you to strips\nIf you dare to rebel.\nAt a glance you can tell\nHe's biflagellate (having two whips).", "id": 18634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Since the spaceship is comin' on fast\nThere's a blueshift.  Then when it's gone past\nIt'll redshift instead,\n'Cause the blue and the red\nAre just white with a Doppler-ish cast.", "id": 18635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When you undertake large works of art,\nWorking small's not the way if you're smart.\nDon't start painting; don't etch;\nKick it off with a sketch.\nBlock in sizeable figures to start.", "id": 18636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In New Zealand, the board is where sheep\nMeet their shearers, who rapidly reap\nAll their wool; when they're done,\nThen it's time for some fun\nIn the meadow, with Little Bo-Peep.", "id": 18637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "And now for a Romany riddle:\nWhat's stroked with a bow down its middle\nBy fakers, while swaying\nAnd ceaselessly playing\nA bosh with panache? It's a fiddle!", "id": 18638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I'm in love! You could say I'm besotted.\nYou infatuate me\u2014who'd have thought it?\nThis occurs when I drink,\nWhich besots me; I think\nWhen I wake, I'll have surely forgot it.", "id": 18639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In learning of Hannibal Lecter's\nElection as chair, some objectors\nComplained that a faction\nHad sought, by this action,\nTo downsize the board of directors.", "id": 18640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My friend, a South African duffer,\nWent fishing; returned with a puffer.\nHe ate it; I shivered.\nIts liver delivered\nSome poison: blaasop made him suffer.", "id": 18641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My old metallurgical schooling\nSays troughs where hot ingots are cooling\nOr iron is caking\nAre boshes\u2014no faking!\nIn bloomeries, bosh isn't \"fooling.\"", "id": 18642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I'm under the weather,\" said Heather.\nHer sickness soon spread; so together,\nWe both had the flu.\nThough achooing, we knew\nWe'd get through it, two birds of a feather.", "id": 18643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Once board meant \"approach alongside\":\nSo mariners (ancient) confide.\nToday, on a train\nOr a ship or a plane,\nIt denotes \"come along for a ride.\"", "id": 18644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "If you're with a Scots lass around noon\nAnd look up and you see the full moon,\nIn surprise you'd say, \"Love,\nThere's the moon up above!\"\nShe'd say, \"Nae say 'above', say 'aboon'.\"", "id": 18645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Stocks and shares can go high or fall low;\nBonds and gilts can be volatile, so,\nIf to risk you're averse,\nThen you could do much worse\nThan to buy balanced funds with your dough.", "id": 18646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I'm someone who's rarely arrayed\nIn glamorous glitz. I'm not swayed\nBy the teens and their scenes,\n'Cause I like these old jeans.\nI don't care that they're faded and frayed.", "id": 18647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I try not to swear or to curse,\nSince it's dumb and makes everything worse.\nInstead, I say, \"Blast!\"\nIt's a word unsurpassed\nIn its mildness for usage in verse.", "id": 18648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I've been on a fortnight-long bender\nIn bars full of opulent splendour:\nPints of beer, rows of shots,\nCase of wine, champagne\u2014lots.\nNow my head feels all fuzzy and tender.", "id": 18649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "A brainstorm will light up your mind,\nShowing clear what was once ill-defined.\nMuddled thoughts and delusion \u2014\nDim clouds of confusion,\nThen FLASH! See the truth hid behind!", "id": 18650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "An audience knows what it's after:\nRelease\u2014lachrymose, or in laughter.\nWhen a hit has been scored,\nHearty bravos reward\nBoth the cast and the show's cunning crafter.", "id": 18651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With Maid Marion caught in a scrape,\nFriar Tuck whips a plan into shape:\nBy diverting the foe\nUsing Robin Hood's bow,\nHe provides her an arrow escape.", "id": 18652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "If you're needing an all over tan\nLike Adonis (a God and a man)\nThen it might be your fate\nThat you have to rotate,\nWhich is hard for a virile young man.", "id": 18653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Dactyl Dave's whole career was kaput \u2014\nWent down flaming, in ashes and soot.\n\"Not one limerick reader\nWill go for my meter;\nI am certain there's something afoot.\"", "id": 18655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Prescient trees turn their leaves, bottoms show;\nMassive clouds gray the groundscape below.\nThen the wind turns to wailing,\nThe heavens start hailing\u2014\nIt looks like we're in for a blow.", "id": 18656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A bold one he is, Liam Carney,\nChasing every colleen in Killarney.\nHe brags of his \"kills\"\nAnd his lovemaking skills,\nBut the girls in the town know it's blarney.", "id": 18657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I've a business that's yielded amounts\nOf net profits I dare not announce.\nSo I've buried my tracks\nTo avoid paying tax;\nHope the Feds don't dig up those accounts.", "id": 18658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In computers, performance is king;\nPay attention to each little thing.\nUse beryllium-copper \u2014\nYou won't come a cropper\nWhen contacts require some spring.", "id": 18659, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "We sat at the campfire, in turn\nMaking comments on what we might learn.\nWith a penchant for fustian,\nShe called it combustion,\nWhile I said, \"We're watching it burn.\"", "id": 18660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "A.M. Gillespie", "limerick": "A cock and a hen have a brood,\nA word that is used to allude\nTo the chicks of a fowl,\nOr the children McDowell,\nAll ten of them dirty and rude.", "id": 18661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "No beaches in moonlight for us,\nWe must quiet our appetites thus:\nIn the back of a tram,\nJoin our lips (Thank you, Ma'am!),\nSeal our love with the old crosstown buss.", "id": 18662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"For swimming the backstroke,\" said Fred,\n\"Float face up like you're lying in bed.\nFlip your feet up and down\nWhile you try not to drown,\nAs you windmill your arms past your head.\"", "id": 18663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiestrogen treatment is best\nAfter cancer's removed from your breast,\nSo tamoxifen may\nKeep recurrence at bay,\nAs it keeps your own hormones depressed.", "id": 18664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I can see that you care about meter,\nAnd my rhymes could be just a bit neater,\nBut it looks like your plan\nIs to build a sedan\nFrom my sporty old rag-top two-seater.", "id": 18665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I find all your nonsense abhorrent,\nAnd your aberrance errant, I warrant.\nIt's completely apparent\nYour nonsense is arrant:\nMy nonsenses, patently, aren't.", "id": 18666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I'm too whizz-dazzled frazzled to razz\nBuzzing blizzards of Z-razzmatazz:\nZizzy Zyzzyva's izzards,\nBuzz Buzzard's frizzed gizzards \u2014\nZizzing \"buzzwords\" with jazzy pizzazz!", "id": 18667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the old days, when records began,\nMany bureaucrats used an aman-\nuensis to take\nDown each word that they spake,\nOr a sonnet in praise of Queen Anne.", "id": 18669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "That foolish coyote can't crack me,\nThough he constantly tries to attack me\nWith anvils and kits\nThat explode into bits.\nI'm the best, ne plus ultra, and acme.", "id": 18670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Spiro Keats sat bucolically musing\nO'er the length of the crook he was using\nFor prodding his sheep\nAnd to save them from deep\nScary cracks when their way they were losing.", "id": 18671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Joan and Johnny, two lovers with braces,\nNow kissed on alternative places,\nFor both sought relief\nFrom the mouth-mangling grief\nThey had suffered when joining their faces.", "id": 18672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To aggravate means \"to provoke\"\nOr \"to nettle\" a lady or bloke;\nAnd yet the critiquers\nFor years have told speakers\nThat ain't how the language is spoke!", "id": 18673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Apprehension attacks like a claw\nDesperados who run from the law.\nA dire, furtive stranger\nIs always a danger:\nThose drowning will clutch at a straw.", "id": 18674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Adolescentilism is dirty!\nYou dress up like a schoolgirl, get flirty\nWith the guys on the team...\nYou're a quarterback's dream!\nBut your age?  It's the far side of thirty.", "id": 18675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "How stupid to sit on and squash\nThis black cohosh in Oshkosh! My gosh!\nWhen with patience and pain\nI had sought this bugbane.\n(Now my pants are in need of a wash.)", "id": 18676, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "While blackening snapper for lunch,\nI wanted to kick up the punch\nWith chilies and spice...\nBut I added them twice!\nTongues will scrunch when we munch, I've a hunch.", "id": 18677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since my knowledge of treatment is muddy,\nI'm taking a course with my buddy\nTo explore the extremities\nOf medicines, remedies:\nAn advanced acologic-type study.", "id": 18678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Mogul skiers (this breed once was rare)\nWith their hot-dogging, devil-may-care\nWay of living out loud\nAre so cocky and proud\u2014\nBold as brass when they're catching some air.", "id": 18679, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "From half court, a pass toward the hoop\nSends the ball in a high arcing loop.\nThen a teammate (with flair)\nSnags the ball from midair\nAnd slam-dunks it\u2014one sweet alley-oop!", "id": 18680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "He was living so low in the gutter\nAmidst all the rubbish and clutter.\nSo abjectly to live!\nWhat the poor guy would give\nTo have jelly with rich peanut butter.", "id": 18681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "While the brigand who lived in the woods\nWith his band full of plundering hoods\nWorked to level his tariff\nOn traffic, the sheriff\nMade off with the thief's stolen goods.", "id": 18682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Though his skill with a sword was perfection,\nHe disdained any kind of protection.\nWhen a stealthy attack\nBrought an axe to his back,\nThe result, I'm afraid, was bisection.", "id": 18683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk and mike scholtes", "limerick": "If your lotions and creams show decay,\nThere's a way to avoid your dismay:\nBenzylparahydroxy-\nbenzoate (sounds poxy)\nHolds myxomycetes at bay.", "id": 18684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I fight, I'm no good and I lose,\nSo I ooze and turn colorful hues.\nI'm a mope, you'll perceive,\nBut I hope you'll believe\nIn my story: the birth of the bruise.", "id": 18686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Though my brain I have thoroughly racked,\nI don't grasp all this art that's abstract.\nYou proclaim that white patch is\nAn egg? It soon hatches?\nThe egg and the artist are cracked!", "id": 18687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Pageant judge is a duty I shoulder;\nFor contestants in swimsuits I smolder.\nThe crowd thinks I oughter\nPick the beekeeper's daughter \u2014\nTrue beauty lies with the bee holder.", "id": 18688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's so odd with the words I arrange\nThat a suffix effects such a change.\nFrom things unsurpassed,\nSomething monstrous we cast,\nWhen from best we make bestial. How strange!", "id": 18689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm heating with gas, and I'm blue;\nIt's expensive for each BTU.\nThermal units (they're British)\nHave oft made me skittish,\nWhen dollar signs flew up my flue.", "id": 18690, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the gym's where I huffed and I puffed;\nGrew so big that my clothing looks stuffed.\nI have muscles like bricks,\nBut I flop with the chicks \u2014\nEven buff, I am getting rebuffed.", "id": 18692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A dashing young knight named Sir Lancelot\nAnd his Guinevere wanted to dance a lot.\nAt the time when he dwelt\nAll were lacking a belt,\nSo his dancing meant pulling up pants a lot.", "id": 18693, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A bluesman who bugled the blues\nBlew his best, but his blues met with boos.\nSo he bootlegged some brews \u2014\nGot depressed on the booze:\nA blue bluesman with boozy boohoos.", "id": 18694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "With a zest for all things, full of vim,\nAnd a cupful of life, to the brim,\nSeeking thrills at all times\nHe writes dangerous rhymes;\nHe's determined to risk life and lim.", "id": 18695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I told him his poetry stank,\nAnd I called him a blankety-blank,\nI was, in my cursing,\nToo hard on his versing.\nHis royalties go bankety-bank.", "id": 18696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Attacks?  And our borders are lax?\nPoliticians will claim those are facts.\nThough the pols cite these stressors,\nThere are no aggressors.\nInstead of attacks there's a tax.", "id": 18697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's rhythm, a lexical beat,\nThat makes limericks a treat to repeat,\nAnd it's only the cheater\nWho disregards meter\nFor which I would happily provide an example, but then all sorts of people would rain unending criticism on my head and my limerick would never be complete.", "id": 18698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My parakeet met the Grim Reaper,\nAnd I sought to replace my poor peeper.\nGave the salesman a nudge. He\nReplied, \"Budget budgie?\nI've a chick that's on sale \u2014 little cheaper.\"", "id": 18699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm a gambler, and ain't it a crime\nThat I've bet and I've lost every dime.\nThat's a terrible price,\nSo I'm beating this vice;\nTen-to-one that I make it this time.", "id": 18700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My son's modeling skills start to burgeon,\nAnd lately I hear the lad urgin',\n\"Let's build a new kit!\"\nBut the pieces don't fit.\nI'm in need of a good plastic surgeon.", "id": 18701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The pre-nup agreement, in draft,\nWas so daft that I ruefully laughed.\nThe contract's short shrift?\nIf our home has a lift,\nShe will keep it while I get the shaft.", "id": 18702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Richard Wagner, he didn't know much, man;\nA plot about breakfast's a crutch, man.\nEggs and bacon cause quibbling?\nWhat's Ring of the Nibbling?\nG\u00f6tterd\u00e4mmerung dumb Frying Dutchman!", "id": 18703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My teacher avowed long ago\nThat averred was a word we'd not know.\nBut my Yiddishe zayde\nSaid, \"Crazy, dat lady!\nA vord is a vord! Is she slow?\"", "id": 18704, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At Madame Tussaud's, several backs\nSport a deadly and blood-dripping ax.\nThese are real, not charades,\nAnd these murderous blades\nAre the source for the name House of Whacks.", "id": 18705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A broker who brokered a deal\nWound up broker than jokes could conceal.\n\"There's no brokered deal broken,\"\nSo spoke the bloke, jokin'.\nHoly smokes! The broke bloke choked for real.", "id": 18706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sir Lancelot's wearing a frown;\nIt's so clear that he's mopey and down.\nKing Arthur says, \"Lance,\nTo feel better, go dance!\nWhat you need is a knight on the town.\"", "id": 18707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Binomial coefficients: Who knows them?\nPascal's clever triangle shows them.\nWant to see them again?\n(x + y)n.\nC(n, k): that will also expose them.", "id": 18708, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The nastiest fellow I've known\nSmashed his trombone and ruined its tone.\nThere's a simple excuse\nFor his slush pump abuse:\nHe was born to be bad to the bone.", "id": 18709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Brutalization's a useful technique\nFor getting a pipsqueak to speak.\nOr for changing a saint\nInto someone who ain't\nAll that shy about busting your beak.", "id": 18710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Joyner", "limerick": "Joe McCarthy accused many gents.\nConspiracy was the offense.\nThough the charges were hollow\nMore witch hunts would follow;\nAnticommunists spurned common sense.", "id": 18711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Joyner", "limerick": "The bufflehead winters in Cali\nIn numbers too many to tally \u2014\nDistinctive white patches\nMark ducks found in batches\nAll over the San Joaquin Valley.", "id": 18712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Call it poopy or doo-doo or poo,\nI'm a toddler and that's what I do.\nIn my diapers each day\nAre those messes that say,\n\"My B.M.s are a present for you.\"", "id": 18713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the play, I was lettuce abed,\nThough I longed for a lead role instead.\nBut when I inquired,\nAlas, I got fired \u2014\nI should quit when I'm clearly ahead.", "id": 18714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Life's a race.  Set the pace.  Blaze the trail.\nLife's a quest.  Seek the best.  Find your Grail.\nDrive yourself.  Go for gold.\nShape yourself.  Break the mould\nThat confines and defines and makes stale.", "id": 18715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My Ferrari's my pride and my joy,\nBut at two hundred grand \u2014 Winter? Oy!\nSo it's back in the box\n(The garage, up on blocks),\nTo protect such a valuable toy.", "id": 18716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In her vineyard she parked an old pumper\nTo grow grapes that were sweeter and plumper.\nWith water to spare,\nSo much fruit the vines bear,\nThat her crop can be classified bumper.", "id": 18717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Hear that sound \u2014 it is music to me \u2014\nOf water on rocks in the sea.\nThat soul-lifting brawl\nMakes my heart stand up tall.\nIt's so fresh and so wild. I feel free!", "id": 18718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "How much is a buttload, you ask?\nYou're facetious, but I'll take the task:\nAt one hundred twenty-\nSix gallons, it's plenty.\nYou might or might not need a cask.", "id": 18719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Ascending, did not he expand\nTill he filled up the bottom-most land?\nDescending, did not\nHe arrive at a spot\nThat was far above heaven? How grand!", "id": 18720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"He who takes the next town weds my daughter,\"\nSaid Caleb\u2014so Othniel got her.\nNot a layabout lass,\nAchsah got off her ass\nAnd demanded some land that had water.", "id": 18721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Adino (was the man on a bender?)\nOf eight hundred lives was the ender.\nFirst of Dave's mighty three,\nIt's surprising that he\nHas a place in the Bible so slender.", "id": 18722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "In the month that was known as Aviv\n(It's called Nisan these days, I believe),\nOf enslavement they tired\u2014\nAn egression transpired\u2014\nThe Hebrews were able to leave.", "id": 18723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The stalk that's attached to the leaf\nOf a flower is giving you grief.\nIs it spiny?  How odious!\nIt's acanthopodious!\nGet some Bactine for relief!", "id": 18724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "After quite an unfortunate breakup,\nWhen it's clear that we can't kiss and make up,\nMy old lover, it seems,\nHas been haunting my dreams;\nI remember my love when I wake up.", "id": 18725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Hey, honey, it's getting quite late.\nThe sun is still up, but just wait!\nLet's go out on a hill\nIn the evening's sweet chill\nAnd enjoy an acronychal date.", "id": 18726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bill ricker", "limerick": "Said the cop, with a soothing caress,\nTo the thug who was speechless with stress:\n\"Try abdominal breathing\nAnd soon you'll stop seething\nWith anger, calm down, and confess.\"", "id": 18727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "In O'Mallory's pub at last call,\nSean was smashed and he started a brawl.\n\"Oh, feck!\" shouted Finn,\nAs the roof collapsed in\nWhen he crashed through a main bearing wall.", "id": 18728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I used to have money\u2014a barrelful.\nThings changed; now my world seems more peril-ful.\nAnd what's worse, I've got kids;\nSince I'm now on the skids,\nI've been wishing that I'd been more sterile-ful.", "id": 18729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "We've all had to sit and endure\nThe duck hawking Aflac, I'm sure.\nNow the backstory goes\nThat this duck has its woes:\n\"Aflatoxicosis!\"  it squawks for a cure!", "id": 18730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We go where no others would go\nTo set your TV screen aglow\nWith a fine astronautical,\nWildly exotical,\nThin-in-the-plot-ical show!", "id": 18731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Young Dirk, a depressed adolescent,\nLoved ev'rything bioluminescent.\nHe'd watch fireflies each night\nAs they made their own light.\nFor young Dirk, this was antidepressant.", "id": 18732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "There once was an ice hockey goalie\nWho kept as a pet an anole.\nThe goalie was Johnson\n(That's John) from Wisconsin.\nHis chameleon's name was just \"Ole\".", "id": 18733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A BS is a college degree\nThat means Bachelor of Science. You see,\n The initials mean more\n When the student they're for\nIs a lying Psych major like me.", "id": 18734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Anna Plasty went out to her surgeon\nAnd demanded to look like a sturgeon.\nHe demurred, \"I won't add\nSo much tissue\u2014that's bad,\"\nAnd rejected her curious urgin'.", "id": 18735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I like you. You know I do\u2014dearly.\nYour odor, though, gags me\u2014severely.\nI'd like to stay friends,\nSo I beg you to cleanse\nYourself frequently, not just biyearly.", "id": 18736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The word bachelor sounds swinging and cool;\nSingle guys bach it up, as a rule.\nBut poor spinsters!  Alas,\nSomeone's sure to harass\nLasses missing that ring-finger jewel.", "id": 18737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ah, dark Africa\u2014orphaned, abused,\nSo abandoned, accursed and misused\u2014\nLeaves me feeling aghast,\nAnd I ask: \"Can this last?\nHow can something so mad be excused?\"", "id": 18738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Here's a word that is mighty, yet small\u2014\nDoes a service beyond duty's call.\nLook and see: a, l, l;\nOnly three letters spell\nWhat can signify anything 't all.", "id": 18739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To solicit for sex is accosting,\nAnd you frankly may find it exhausting.\nYou might try anyway,\nIf your spouse shows dismay\nAt your strange fascination with frosting.", "id": 18740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "At F\u00e9camp on Normandy's coast,\nSee the monks raise a syrupy toast\nTo a boozy rich fix\nOf botanical mix \u2014\nBenedictine, a blessing to boast.", "id": 18741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Well appointed, the doctor's equipped\nWith a board where results have been clipped\nAnd prescriptions are sittin'\u2014\nThe latter are written\nIn incomprehensible script.", "id": 18742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My scurrilous scolding? You bosh it:\nIgnoring its slander, you squash it.\nYou viciously mock\nMy ambition to shock:\nYou don't even so much as \"Oh gosh!\" it.", "id": 18743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ah, Austria, fountain\u2014the source\nOf much concert hall music; a force\nThat can still fill our ears\nAnd the heart that now hears\nThe great mastery that set music's course.", "id": 18744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The officious employee policed a\nMost noisy machine. When it ceased, a\nConsumer enquired\nIf he now could get wired.\n\"No, it's decaf!\" replied the barista.", "id": 18745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Biological parents are free\u2014\nIf they wish\u2014to beget and then flee.\nCaring people who opt\nBoth to seek and adopt\nOthers' children are heroes to me.", "id": 18746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When you jump from a plane with a chute\nAnd an oversized bag filled with loot,\nThere's a really great trick:\nLand in brush that is thick,\nAnd then stick to a well-hidden route.", "id": 18748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "saranita and Nitelaf", "limerick": "Understanding his speech was a pain.\n(Was the problem his mouth or his brain?)\nThough the kid was a star,\nBuckwheat's words were bizarre!\nYou should take them with salt (just a grain).", "id": 18749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's enough to confuse and befuddle\nAnd bother me, mix up and muddle\nMy mind and then jerk me\nAround, really irk me!\nYou wanna make love or just cuddle?", "id": 18750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "All the women\u2014for me they're fanatic.\nI breathe heavy\u2014it makes them ecstatic.\nThey think I'm so passionate.\nTruth?  Not a dash in it.\nFact is, I'm merely asthmatic.", "id": 18751, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Full of nuance and heady mentation\nIs the wine of a fine conversation.\nI don't want to be there\nIf it's nothing but air.\nDo not ask me to brook bloviation.", "id": 18752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The new funeral home is quite bright;\nThe interior's notably light.\nTo relieve mourners' gloom,\nThey chose bone for each room.\nFor their firm, 'twas more apt than off-white.", "id": 18753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "The Admiral's Cup \u2014 what a sight,\nWith the bowlines well lashed to the bight.\nScudding clouds, freshening breeze,\nOn white horses, blue seas \u2014\nThe sails skim out of Cowes, Isle of Wight.", "id": 18754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "If a booklet's a book that's no biggie,\nAnd a piglet's a tiny wee piggy,\nThen a branchlet's a stick\nThat is not very thick\n(But it isn't as thin as a twiggy!).", "id": 18755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "For a potter, there's magic in barium!\nIt's the power with glazes to vary 'em\nSo that blues veer to green\nAnd then take on a sheen\nThat would grace the most vibrant aquarium.", "id": 18756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To call drill for the company brass,\nOr play taps as you stand on the grass\nBy a serviceman's grave\nTo respect all he gave,\nA clear bugle you'll never surpass.", "id": 18757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This skit on TV at Brianna's\nFeatured hats of one type:  Susquehanna's.\nCostello would meet\nPassers-by in the street,\nEach one instantly going bananas.", "id": 18758, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I practice each day and I dream about\nGuitars and great fame, yet I seem about\nEven with guys\nWhose careers never rise:\nAbove average, but nothing to scream about.", "id": 18759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Diabolically bunkered, this green\nHas the deepest of sand traps I've seen\u2014\nI've been blasting my ball,\nBut keep hitting a wall.\nI'll be lucky to score a thirteen!", "id": 18761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've heard that a Queenslander bloke\nUses kelp in a mind-blowing smoke.\nOver coral he'll troll\nFor the seaweed, then roll\nA few barrier reefers to toke.", "id": 18762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Negroes refuse to be cowed\nAs they struggle for freedom, unbowed.\nThey give voice to their blackness\nAnd sharp-as-a-tackness\nBy shouting, \"We're black and we're proud!\"", "id": 18763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our frozen desserts draw hosannas\nFrom folks at the Cuban cabanas.\nOne fruit they extol,\nServed in sundaes, comes whole\nAnd not split\u2014yes, we halve no bananas.", "id": 18764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'll bake us a fine langostino\nAnd open a bottle of vino.\nThen we'll turn on TV\nAnd watch slalomers ski\nIn the Alpine events from Torino.", "id": 18765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Black comedy doesn't require\nA Cosby or Murphy or Pryor.\nIt's humor with bite,\nPretty morbid, that might\nKnock 'em dead at a funeral pyre.", "id": 18766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In his resum\u00e9, Senator Bill\nMentions Princeton and Capitol Hill.\nBetween them he passes\nThrough Rhodes-scholar'd classes.\nThe Knicks? They're played down, if you will.", "id": 18767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A handy percussionist hones\nHis adroitness with sticks, making tones:\nThere's a clickity rhythm\nHe generates with 'em.\nThis artist is playin' dem bones.", "id": 18768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Is the humerus funny or not?\nThat's a subject that's heavy and hot\nAt physicians' conventions:\nThis bone of contention's\nPut upper-arm docs on the spot.", "id": 18769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a father, I've learned that resiliency\nIs what I must have when the brilliancy\nMy son won't display\nIn the classroom each day\nMeans this grade's not an A, but his millionth C.", "id": 18770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Delta, we worship the souse;\nThink of Wormer the Dean as a louse;\nHate Omegas and smarties;\nWear togas at parties.\nWe rock at the Animal House!", "id": 18771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When I taught them my cute appendectomy,\nMy students showed little respect to me.\nThey would hiss as I cut\nEach appendix from gut,\nFor they wanted to learn hysterectomy.", "id": 18772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My parents would constantly bicker.\nMum said sauce should be thinner; Dad, thicker.\nThey would fight in the rain\nOver whether the train\nOr the bus to the airport was quicker.", "id": 18773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Bleeding hearts feel the poor and the sick\nAlways get the short end of the stick.\nOthers think that compassion\nIs way out of fashion\u2014\nJust liberal Hollywood shtick.", "id": 18774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Trading stocks on a foreign exchange\n(Called a bourse) can be risky and strange.\nThere's a stove-making firm\nThat has promise long-term,\nBut it trades in a limited range.", "id": 18775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With a bombsight there's no need to pray\nThat your timing and aim are okay.\nCrosshairs' \"X\" marks the spot\nLining up what you've got\nTo create the best shot. \"Bombs away!\"", "id": 18776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"I'm the worst kind of bad desperado;\n'Show mercy to none' is my motto!\"\nAs this sentence was said,\nHe was shot full of lead\nBy some dudes who ignored his bravado.", "id": 18777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Joyner", "limerick": "A curmudgeonly Brit's muttered claim:\n\"Litigation is common law's shame!\nThe barristers' trust is\nIn winning, not justice.\nThe adversary system's to blame.\"", "id": 18778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Though it's smaller than infinitesimal,\nWithout 0, computing in decimal \u2014\nOr base n (start with 2) \u2014\nWould be harder to do,\nAlmost totally incomprehesimal.", "id": 18779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Young W\u00f6hler decided to heat\nAmmonium cyanate (neat!),\nThus producing urea:\nHe disproved an idea,\nAnd Organic's mystique had been beat.", "id": 18780, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "To avoid any burns or chagrin\nIn the baking of cookies, begin\nWith a covering (dermic)\nThat's adiathermic\nTo prevent heat from reaching your skin.", "id": 18781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "When your child takes a bath, you might say\nHe'll be clean when the dirt's washed away.\nFor Hebrews of old,\nA bath, they were told,\nWas a measure of liquids, not play!", "id": 18782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and eris8x6", "limerick": "Min's dinner martini was ginful,\nAnd her interests got into the sinful.\nAbsolution was sought\u2014\nAbsolut's what she bought,\nSince with vodka, she feels less chagrinful.", "id": 18783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "As the school board prepared to cast votes\nTo adopt some new textbooks, some notes\nFrom the Chair to the floor\nRead: \"You will please ignore\nAll these salesmen with knives at our throats!\"", "id": 18784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "On the avenue, movement's subpar;\nIts grand opening looks so bizarre!\n'Cross six lanes all are stuck\u2014\nBe it car, be it truck\u2014\n'Cause the road is still wet with hot tar!", "id": 18785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The ball would have sailed past the flag,\nIf he'd swung, but he checked\u2014made him gag.\nStill, a steal was attempted,\nBut the out was pre-empted\n'Cause the ump ruled no tag at the bag!", "id": 18786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "As two fencers square off for their match,\n\"A feint,\" thinks the keen one, \"I'll hatch!\"\nSo his foot he stamps quick\nTo distract.  Thrust and stick!\nHis appel yields touch\u00e9\u2014not a scratch!", "id": 18787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Big news needs big headlines, they say,\nTo attract readers' eyes and convey\nWhat the story's about\nWith great visual clout.\n\"Edge to edge\" is a banner type day!", "id": 18788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"While she's nothing to look at, I'd say,\nShe shows brilliancy playing croquet.\nShe's the best, I'll al-OW!\nOw! That hurt! ow, ow, OW!\"\u2014\n\"Off your knee, through the wicket! Nice play!\"", "id": 18789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Going out with a robot's no fun.\nI wish I had never begun.\nIt's the binary system:\nLove poems, I've missed 'em \u2014\nMy darling writes \"One Zero One\".", "id": 18790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "The company geek with no brain\nHas begun a brown-nosing campaign\nTo creep to the top.\nNow the phrase means \u2014 no, stop!\nIt's an image too gross to explain.", "id": 18791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow", "limerick": "To avoid any reader's derision,\nI write lim'ricks that rhyme with precision.\nSo relax, would ya, ma'am?\n'Cause I am what iamb.\nGod forbid I should use some elision!", "id": 18792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "By lightning, the network was struck.\nOverloaded, with circuits amok,\nAll the breakers were blown,\nAnd the relays were thrown.\nAn electrical blackout. Oh, yuck.", "id": 18793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A girl with ambivalent goals\nLoves to follow white rabbits down holes.\nIf she grows very small,\nCould she shrink very tall,\nEating cake, drinking tea, switching roles?", "id": 18794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In bordage, a system that's feudal,\nThe lord owns the kit and caboodle.\nIf you served as a bordar\n(The lowliest order)\nThat wouldn't be using your noodle.", "id": 18795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "From a mustardy cabbage-shaped plant\nCome the Brussels sprouts served by my aunt.\nSmall and cute, looking great,\nThey appear on my plate;\nBut to actually eat them? ... I can't.", "id": 18796, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whined the Jolly Green Giant, \"I mean,\nIt ain't easy, y' know, being green.\nIn my field, I'm outstanding,\nBut my job's too demanding\nTo be done by a mere human bean.\"", "id": 18797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Elefino what animal's here,\nThough at first they appeared to be deer.\nI'll just level my gun,\nShoot the pokiest one,\nAnd inspect it up close, where it's clear.", "id": 18798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Holdingwordsintheirseparateplaces\nArethecharactersknownasthespaces,\nButwhenwordsarethisnear,\nSpacesjustdisappear,\nSimplyvanishingleavingnotraces.", "id": 18799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A Tory I've come to adore, he\nLoves bullfighting, bloody and gory.\nThough otherwise charmin',\nHe's whistle-ing Carmen\u2014\nA most un-bull-ievable story.", "id": 18800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My broker? I'd happily choke her:\nShe's a stock-picking practical joker.\nWhen she buys me a stock,\nAnd it sinks like a rock,\nI get steadily broker and broker.", "id": 18801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Scotland, where castles were built,\nAnd they speak with a brogue and a lilt,\nPut a man in a dress\nAnd you'll hear him confess,\n\"Laddie, och, I would sooner be kilt.\"", "id": 18802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "What a great \"man's best friend\" I just got,\n'Cause I like to break wind quite a lot.\nYes it's true, I've no shame;\nNow the dog gets the blame.\nEvery fart comes from him\u2014true or not.", "id": 18803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "I swear, folks, it's simply a myth\nThat the hippie Chrysanthemum Smith\nBeads and flowers eschewed,\nAnd joined up where a Jew'd\nGet empowered: \"The Sons\" (B'nai B'rith).", "id": 18804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Word of the Lord is reliable;\nHis Truth and His Love undeniable.\nYou'll be saved if you look\nThrough His best-selling book;\nYou will find it in stores under buyable.", "id": 18805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "As expected by every predictor,\nI'm a bronc-bustin' rodeo victor.\nMy opponents are seething \u2014\nTheir horses ain't breathing!\nI gave them a broncoconstrictor.", "id": 18806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Our vegetable farmers profess\nThey've no knowledge of crops for the press.\"\nSo our president speaks\nWhen he talks about leeks\nIn his State of the Onion address.", "id": 18807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "He said, \"Dinner's the bet?\" I said, \"Aye,\nAnd the loser buys T-bones and pie.\"\n\"At the best place in town?\"\n\"Hold your horses!  Slow down!\n'Cause I think that those steaks are too high.\"", "id": 18808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As the Torturing Turk understood,\nJust by changing from bad guy to good\nIn a babyface turn,\nHe'd increase what he'd earn,\nBut his mom didn't think that he should.", "id": 18809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An armer is one who'll prepare\nWith armaments, armies who dare,\nIf well-armored, to go\nInto war against foe,\nWhile the armor's what soldiers will wear.", "id": 18810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "For optimal teaching and learning,\nThey stuck us in sets. How discerning!\nThe groups are: the best;\nThe slowest; the rest.\nIt's called banding, and bitter we're turning.", "id": 18811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Birkeland currents revealed\nThe vastness and scope of the field.\nWe bask in the auras\nOf polar auroras,\nWith most of their secrets still sealed.", "id": 18812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In the lower house, Government yammer'll\nMove their bills; in the upper house, clamour'll\nVote them down, change them round\nOr enact them as found.\nThat's the beauty of systems bicameral.", "id": 18813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Since her features have started to sag,\nMy young wife has become an old hag.\nShe was \"kicking\", a hottie,\nMy sack-worthy totty;\nNow she's \"boot\", an old boiler, a bag.", "id": 18814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I've derived from the concrete noun, bean,\nA new abstract noun, bean-ness, to mean\nWhat makes beans \"beans\" as such,\nBe it taste, smell or touch.\n(Try with pea \u2014 but watch out, keep it clean!)", "id": 18815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "See that grove, Heliconian mountains-y,\nWhere the nine Muses play at the fount; and see,\nWith her daybooks and pen,\nThere sits Muse number ten:\nHypersomnia, Muse of accountancy.", "id": 18816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I must hope: could this pill in its blister mean\nNo more hay fever?  How I want this to mean\nThat my sneezing will stop!\nSo I'll pop out then pop\nA small tab of this new antihistamine.", "id": 18817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "An alchemist, barmy but bold,\nTried to turn all his coins into gold.\nWhen he found a solution,\nHe faced destitution:\nThe alkahest melted them cold.", "id": 18818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Postmen, knowing my dog's 'spring-shut' nip,\nStick my mail in his iron-jawed grip.\nMy pooch won't let go\nTill I squeeze him just so,\nWhich is why I call my bulldog Clip.", "id": 18819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "4, 2, 1 (one of each) \u2014 seventh heaven! \u2014\nI have written out binary 111.\nIt appears it should be \u2014\nIll defined \u2014 Roman III.\nIn base 10, it's 111.", "id": 18820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In China, the underwear's white,\nAnd the men are bemoaning their plight.\n\"Our skivvies are boring,\nImpeding our scoring!\"\nIt's a boxer rebellion, all right.", "id": 18821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "To be appetizing, food should taste great,\nBe well cooked and displayed on the plate,\nWith aromas enticing,\nAnd just the right spicing \u2014\nAnd not like that slop I just ate.", "id": 18822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Couch potatoes unite!  Do not whine,\nWith no muscles you still have a spine.\nTake a lesson from me \u2014\nI'm as limp as can be,\nBut the trophy for atrophy's mine.", "id": 18823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "With the utmost of bliss and with gratitude,\nI am thankful to all for beatitude.\nI'm so glad that my 'tude\nDoesn't strike you as rude.\nIt means what? I'm no saint \u2014 I need latitude.", "id": 18824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Relativity's theorems delight;\nMass increases with speed of your flight.\nAnd a dieter's ploy's\nWatching avoirdupois:\nWould he rather go faster than light?", "id": 18825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I thought William a healer.  I'm silly!\nMy chakras are strewn willy-nilly.\nAlign? Not this quack.\nJust a line, \"Now I'm back.\"\nOh, where have you been, shaman Billy?", "id": 18826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm after a laptop that's notable:\nOne lighter than light, always totable,\nOne that fits in a jar,\nOne I'd take to a bar,\nA computer that's potent and potable.", "id": 18827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A scholar in physics once toiled\nOver pressure and volume embroiled.\n\"Their product's the same!\"\nHe was quick to proclaim,\nAnd he proved it with steam he had Boyled.", "id": 18828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The cruciform veg is a beaut.\nWith turnips, you eat leaf and root.\nThe bud (not the flower)\nIs broccoli's power.\nIt's all sounding brassica. Toot!", "id": 18829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "The alcids are birds who like fish.\nBeware, all you swimmers who swish.\nFrom above they attack.\nUnderwater they lack\nMuch restraint. They'll have fish on their dish.", "id": 18830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In the past, I was known as a bloke\nWho wore a broad smile as his cloak.\nBut between me and you,\nSomething's making me blue.\nThis depression is really no joke.", "id": 18831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "All these people, all talking aloud\nIn the streets, on the bus, in the crowd.\nYou talkin' to me?\nJust as rude as can be!\nAnd I won't get a cell, I have vowed.", "id": 18832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Abstraction just wasn't appealing;\nForms were recognized: much too revealing.\nBut he found with elation\nThe Abstraction-Creation\nGroup's credo: Shape. Color. No feeling.", "id": 18833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Die erste Walpurgisnacht weaves\nTales of Christians and pagans in leaves\nAt the end of the snows;\nGoethe's poetry shows\nThe mother of all Beltane Eves.", "id": 18834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "A sculpture that tries to portray\nA Titan takes up my foyer.\nA conceit of my wife,\nIt's a larger-than-life\nGold atlantid in papier-m\u00e2ch\u00e9.", "id": 18835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you bifurcate something, it's cleft.\nTake a part, and another part's left.\nIf what's left isn't right,\nYou've been spited, in spite\nOf your lawyer, 'cause hers was more deft.", "id": 18836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Making heaven and earth in beginning,\nGod created the world, the while grinning.\nHe made beasties and plants,\nAnd He gave all a glance,\nAnd then rested to wait for the sinning.", "id": 18837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "It's no wonder that bell-ringers pull,\nFor their lives are resoundingly full\nOf loud clanging and chimes;\nCome and share these good times,\nThough your ears may need cotton wool.", "id": 18838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Though I often get pissed as a newt,\nIt's a simile newts might dispute.\nTheir sobriety's fine,\nBut don't contemplate mine;\nBooze has something no newt can refute!", "id": 18839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"My boiler is mad as can be!\nIt's hissing and spitting at me!\"\n\"It works like a dream\u2014\nIt's just letting off steam\nThrough its bleedoff, not teed off, you see.\"", "id": 18840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I did bird,\" said the thief, \"for my crime.\"\n\"You did what?\" Said the thief: \"I did time.\nBecause bird lime is sticky\n(Escaping is tricky),\nThe Cockneys say bird as a rhyme.\"", "id": 18841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "You might buy off a guy when you pay\nHim some cash to hide something away,\nBut he's back for some more \u2014\nHear the knock on the door?\nChoked with hatred, you've not much to say.", "id": 18842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "When Israel's children came home,\nAdin set up his tent in the loam.\nSaying \"We've been away\nFor many a day.\nNo more will we wander or roam.\"", "id": 18843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If you think you have hypoglycemia,\nAnd you're sure that it isn't anemia,\nPlease let me suggest\nThat your blood needs a test\nTo be sure you don't have acidaemia.", "id": 18844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "april j and mike scholtes", "limerick": "A learner of letters like me\nNever tires from A up to Z.\nTo my five-year-old tot\nAlphabetarian's not\nA thing he wants to grow up to be.", "id": 18845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "The anatase (TiO2)\nIs scarce, colored brownish or blue,\nIt's used in white paint;\nThat's really quite quaint\nAs its polymorphs end up there too.", "id": 18846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In the groups at the Skivvies convention,\nThe debate was the first thing they'd mention.\n\"Could boxers be brief?\"\nOnly caused a huge beef\nThat became a big bone of contention.", "id": 18847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "With a bunker mentality, we\nWon't consider that you'd ever be\nIn the right, since your blame\nCould consume us with shame.\nSo what truth you may prove, we won't see.", "id": 18848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "I'm grounded? Ground him! Let me free!\nHe called me a monkey-boy. Me,\nI just mooned him to show\nIt was not apropos:\nI'm acaudate \u2014 an ape. QED.", "id": 18849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "They travel in hordes, not in pairs.\nThey're common, without snooty airs.\nLike their tropical cousins,\nThey bite by the dozens.\nDo bedbugs get jet lag? Who cares!", "id": 18850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Braciola: Cheap meat, pounded fine;\nTake breadcrumbs and herbs, and combine\nThem as stuffing. Enfold\nIt in meat. Once it's rolled,\nTruss it up, and then braise it in wine.", "id": 18851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Two patrons, each one a big spender,\nTo a barmaid flash large legal tender.\nShe, wanting their tips\nBut not pinches or lips,\nKeeps 'em sober so they don't offend 'er.", "id": 18852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "In the land where the feet of Christ trod\nDwelt St. Anne, whom we honor and laud\nAs the mother of Mary.\nHer burden to carry?\nBeing known as the grandma of God.", "id": 18853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My seventh-grade teacher, Miss Erb,\nSaid that math problems shouldn't perturb.\nAdd a list of amounts,\nThen divide by the counts.\nThat is average, when used as a verb.", "id": 18854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "Her broodiness means she won't lay.\nShe is moody, reclusive. She'll stay\nRight on top till the end.\nAs each egg cracks, she'll bend\nTo consume the hatched life right away.", "id": 18855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and waterrocks", "limerick": "Some poetry, once in a while,\nEmploys Archilochian style.\nIambic satirics \u2014\nInvention in lyrics \u2014\nIt's written with gusto and guile.", "id": 18856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Arithmetic mean (straight in between)\u2014\nGeometric mean (product's root, lean)\u2014\nInequality, see,\nTells us: A's more than G,\nBut if a equals b, mean is mean!", "id": 18857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Blue-, huckle-, bil-, all just the same,\nAs a prefix attached to the name\nOf a wonderful berry;\nBlack- 'n' goose- (that one's hairy).\nFine straw- fields forever found fame.", "id": 18858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sultry bitch goddess, tantalize me,\nLest I stay with the gray bourgeoisie.\nTake my soul! Burn like flame!\nSoothe my anapest aim;\nMake my name light this website's marquee.", "id": 18859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The Queen Mary, with all of its girth,\nIs in Long Beach secured in its berth.\nSo they claim, and I'm sure\nThat the ship is secure.\nWhat might not be secure is the Earth.", "id": 18860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev and Richard Stehr", "limerick": "She's so fat, and no wonder; here's why:\n'Cause she dips in the ice cream and pie.\nAnd she dips in the chips\nWith her fingers and lips.\nAdipsin would help...if she'd try!", "id": 18861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A cute bird with thick bill to crack seeds,\nThat's the bullfinch. It helps control weeds.\n\"It's a sparrow,\" you say,\nBut the finch says, \"No way!\"\nIt's respect that this tiny bird needs.", "id": 18862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A tobacco called burley is grown\nIn Kentucky, air-cured, and it's known\nFor its light-colored leaves.\nThe bright life-slayer weaves\nThrough the smoke a dark cough that's your own.", "id": 18863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Alphabet", "limerick": "The contraction spelled ain't means \"am not\"\nOr \"do not\" or \"does not\" or \"did not\"\nOr \"are not\" or \"is not\"\nOr \"have not\" or \"has not,\"\nWhich means ain't is tied up in a knot.", "id": 18864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The invite read BYOB,\nSo he pondered, what goes well with brie?\nShould he offer to share\nAnd if not, who would care,\n'Cause he'd just as soon hoard his Chablis.", "id": 18865, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An agreeable lady, Ms. Ling,\nLacks a beau, but she still wants a fling.\nShe tells Ng, \"On the shelf,\n'Tisn't fun by myself.\nI won't cling.  Bring Sam Singh, and we'll swing.\"", "id": 18866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "To look like the great Halle Berry\nWould make any movie star merry\u2014\nShe's gorgeous, you see.\nWish her face was on me!\nBut my looks are commonplace\u2014very.", "id": 18867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I'm unable to buy you a Coke\u2014\nIt's simply no longer a joke.\nMy account's in the red\nAnd my cash flow is dead;\nIn short, I am flat, stony broke.", "id": 18869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "I derive just a scruple of pleasure\nFrom knowing apothecaries' measure.\nThat three of their drams\nEqual twelve metric grams\nIs a fact I can tell at my leisure.", "id": 18870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Backlash: a word often used\nFor mechanical systems abused,\nOver-stressed, over-toiled,\nOut of sight, under-oiled,\nBut the cost may not make you amused.", "id": 18871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "In life, you'll find many a glitch:\nThere's a problem, a trouble, a hitch.\nWhen the torments and mist\nOf depressions persist,\nThen the black dog of life is a bitch.", "id": 18872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "He threw an admiring glance\nAnd he said, \"It was pure circumstance\nThat has helped me  to see\nI love you \u2014 you love me!\"\nAll the rest is just left up to chance.", "id": 18873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Six atoms of C want to cling \u2014\nDo a double-bond, single-bond, thing.\nTo each leftover bond\nAtom H will respond,\nMaking benzene, the hexagon \"ring\".", "id": 18874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Bull Moosers were Teddy supporters\nWho resented the delegate hoarders\nWho made Taft nominee\nOf a split GOP,\nGiving Wilson some new living quarters.", "id": 18875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "If thousands of strands of your hair,\nInterwoven and plaited with care,\nSubdivide into rows\nTied with bands, beads, or bows,\nThen braids is your 'do. Proudly wear.", "id": 18876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Regarding the noise when you spew\nBacteria into the blue:\nAim your sneeze in your sleeve\nSo that you can achieve\nA silenter, gentler achoo.", "id": 18877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Four-and-twenty old Blackbirds could hide\nIn the sky.  The A-12 (I'll confide)\nCould outfly and outrun\nSR-71,\nBut now spy sats just pry far and wide.", "id": 18878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Darius of Persia would wait\nFor the Greek, Alexander the Great.\nBut his plans came untracked\nWhen the Hellenes attacked\u2014\nSo Arbela had sealed Persia's fate.", "id": 18879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the First World War, Germans, by gosh,\nWere called by their enemies \"boche.\"\nAnd the painter, Hieronymus,\nWasn't anonymous\u2014\nBosh! That's a rumor I'd quash!", "id": 18880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I hope our new puppy will kindle\nA love that's sustained and won't dwindle.\nHe's tawny with black\nThat's in streaks on his back,\nSo I'd guess that we'd call him a brindle.", "id": 18881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The detective who smashed in the door\nWas arrestingly lovely\u2014but swore.\nThen she pointed her gun;\nShe yelled, \"Freeze!\" and shot one,\nAnd arrestingly handcuffed two more.", "id": 18882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I have a few musical boys,\nAnd drums and guitars are their toys.\nTheir rhythm resounds\nAnd makes terrible sounds,\nBut acoustic tiles deaden the noise.", "id": 18883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Out West, where the dust often scuttles\nAnd rain falls in rather large puddles,\nMy brother and I,\nAlong with Aunt Vi,\nHave farms that share borders (abuttals)!", "id": 18884, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A wonderful cook I am not,\nBut I like my food spicy and hot.\nAnd I really like meat\nPrepared juicy and sweet\nIn a mica-enriched black clay pot.", "id": 18885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Hey sugar, your joke wasn't funny!\nThis stuff is too sticky and runny!\nFor a beautiful dish\nOr a bidon I wish\u2014\nThat's a tin that can hold all this honey!", "id": 18886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Journals and memoirs, et cetera,\nOr essays concerning the tetra. . . .\nThe elegant prose\nOne reads in repose\nIs shelved with the heading belles lettres.", "id": 18887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though conservatives put up a squeal,\nAll his policies had an appeal\nTo the man in the street,\nSo that no one could beat\nFDR and his '30s big deal.", "id": 18888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "In the shape of two crowns is this cap\nOf the state, but beware, there's a trap.\nThis thing's very curious\nBecause it is spurious:\nThe \"word\" and its meaning are crap.", "id": 18889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "On the telly, presenter James Burke\nHas a show with a bit of a quirk:\nDiachronic inventions.\nHe eagerly mentions\nConnections between them that lurk.", "id": 18890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Dean Martin's new sports car was nice,\nAnd just right for his signature vice.\nEach side came complete\nWith its own bucket seat\u2014\nOne for Dino and one for the ice.", "id": 18891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "My constituents?  Really can't stand 'em.\nFor votes, though, I'm ready to hand 'em\nA tap-dancing style\nWith a big toothy smile\nAnd a media blitz ad captandum.", "id": 18892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Because is the reason I said,\nAnd the answer to why, when you pled.\nNow I know you've been fed,\nWashed and brushed. Go ahead\u2014\nIt's upstairs for you\u2014past time for bed!", "id": 18893, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Apropos of my eyesight now, viz.\nWith regard to my vision . . . . Gee whiz!\nSince you've brought up the topic \u2014\nI'm slightly myopic.\nI need some new glasses \u2014 like his.", "id": 18894, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "As an animal lover I've found\nThat, where fleas and their offspring abound,\nOne thing cures my frustration:\nComplete annihilation\nBy flea poison sprayed all around.", "id": 18895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There's no question, the Scottish term birkie\nMeans a man who is lively and perky,\nAssertive and smart,\nWith a mettlesome heart\n(But it's etymologically murky).", "id": 18896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When this fish you just cannot abide,\nTo your waiter be sure to confide,\n\"When making my pizza\nIn old Srebrenica,\nPlease leave the anchovies aside.\"", "id": 18897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When an alderfly larva's spent years\nIn a stream, it crawls out, it appears.\nAs a pupa it stays\nThrough the winter, then plays\nIn imago form\u2014briefly, one fears.", "id": 18898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "He mixed hundred-proof up with a grin,\nDripped a few drops of glycerine in,\nAdded juniper juice\u2014\nTurned it loose for abuse.\nWas his bathtub the source of this gin?", "id": 18899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Taking bearings could well be a test \u2014\nEtymology's what you do best?\nYou American chaps,\nWhen you orient maps,\nTo the Orient, better go west.", "id": 18900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My thighs are no longer abraded,\nAnd the scars on my skin have since faded.\nGuess the corduroy shorts\nWeren't the best wear for sports,\nWhich is why, for a Speedo, I traded.", "id": 18901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The elegant breaststrokers swim\nWith mellifluous ease at the gym.\nTheir grace in the water's\nAkin to the otter's,\nSave for Extra Limb Jim. Pity him.", "id": 18902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "In the days before website design,\nIt had pins, and was made out of pine.\nNow, the bulletin board\nStrikes a virtual chord:\nWhere the world and his wife meet online.", "id": 18903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "An anticollision appliance\nMeans less unsupported reliance\nOn pilots who falter.\nLet's pray at the altar\nOf new aeronautical science.", "id": 18904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Norbert's methods in pure bubbleology\nMight better employ deontology,\nFor he's drunk his lab dry\nOf its bubbly supply\u2014\nNow his colleagues demand an apology.", "id": 18905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "A burl is a growth on a tree.\nLong ago it was wounded, and we\nKnow the tree likely thinks\nThat this knotty lump stinks.\nAs veneer, though, it's pleasant to see.", "id": 18906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My hearing is somewhat impaired.\nWhen she introduced Jack, I was scared,\nAs his business, it seems,\nIs \"buy athletes\"! Such schemes\nAre illegal\u2014I stood there and stared.", "id": 18907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blind date, I'd been warned, was a flash\nIn the pan; he was reckless\u2014so brash.\nI was taking no chances;\nI braced for advances.\nInstead he ran off with my cash!", "id": 18908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "That show knocked my socks off\u2014a blast!\nFun and fast! What a cast! Unsurpassed!\nAh, but what knocks my socks off is\nNot always box office.\nOpening night was its last.", "id": 18909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The sassy Belinda Berlin\nWas a brassy identical twin,\nAnd her sister, named Nora,\nWas brazen\u2014she wore a\nBrassi\u00e8re made of copper and tin.", "id": 18910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "At first meeting, she'll often put on\nA fa\u00e7ade, her warm nature withdrawn.\nShe seems brittle and cool\u2014\nBut have patience, and you'll\nSee she's sweet as a sparrow at dawn.", "id": 18912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Maestro Brahms is the third of the B's.\nD Concerto's been used by A. Keys.\nMany judged him a jerk.\nLudwig's bust watched him work.\nHis great lullaby's soft as a breeze.", "id": 18913, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "His board of directors said, \"Act!\"\n(Their demeanor was lacking in tact.)\nHe cut costs to the bone\nAnd applied for a loan,\nBut he knew in his bones, he'd be sacked.", "id": 18914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My aggies might trade for a lot.\nMy favorite's black, and it's got\nSome cool whitish swirls,\nBut now I like girls\nMore than marbles (she's twelve and she's hot)!", "id": 18915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "By bosses they're frequently prized,\nThough by colleagues they're often despised\u2014\nThose sly apple-polishers,\nHard work abolishers,\nSuck-ups, as workers disguised.", "id": 18916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He's always more grinning than grim;\nHe'll playfully act on a whim;\nHis reasoning's specious;\nHe's often facetious;\nHe's blithe and capricious \u2014 that's him.", "id": 18917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now Akaba's Jordan's south port,\nA hot dusty place, so we're taught.\nBut as Petra's red city\nIs near, it's a pity\nTo ignore this potential resort.", "id": 18918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "You point at my skin with a pin\nSaying, \"That's where this thing's going in.\"\nBut for those of my gender,\nThat acupoint's tender\u2014\nFor treatment I'll stick with the gin.", "id": 18919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "When there's azofication around,\nThen the plants will be feeding the ground.\nThe result we are finding\nIs nitrogen binding,\nIt's free\u2014symbiotic, we've found!", "id": 18920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "You can throw a baton at a gudgeon\nIf you're mindful to be a curmudgeon,\nBut Chiroptera sections\nHave legal protections,\nSo don't belt a bat with a bludgeon.", "id": 18921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Altruistic? Old Farmer La Farge?\nI don't think so. His heart's not so large.\nHe tells ramblers like me,\n\"Stroll my meadows \u2014 they're free!\"\nBut that's bull, for his bulls always charge.", "id": 18923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Box the compass? That's easy \u2014 I'm grinning.\nSimply start with the North (the beginning).\nNorth by East follows that;\nNorth-northeast's where it's at\nFor the next bit.... My head's started spinning!", "id": 18924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bill ricker", "limerick": "Tina asked a smart gard'ner just what\nAegiceras might do for her plot.\nHe responded to Tina:\n\"It's just a verbena.\nIt'll help, but it won't add a lot.\"", "id": 18925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "East of Borneo, real estate's hot,\nBut I wouldn't consider a spot\nOn the shoreline of Celebes:\nWreck-your-umbrella breeze\nSqualls are their norm, called barat.", "id": 18926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The buffet in this peristyle's fair,\nBut dessert's in the one over there.\nWith the width of my assage\nToo great for the passage\n(Or andron), I won't get my share!", "id": 18927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Buzz the Buzzard, that's me. I've pizzazz.\nAt the jazz club I quaff fine Shiraz.\nOn the razzle I dazzle,\nThough others may frazzle;\nMy zizz is the fizz in this skaz.", "id": 18928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An Afghan's a soul from Kabul\nOr a shawl that you use when it's cool\nOr a silky-haired hound\nYou might find at the pound,\nBut not as a general rule.", "id": 18929, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In Egypt, when darkness is done\nAnd daybreak has night on the run,\nEach carved baboon votary\nJoins in a coterie,\nGreeting the Nubian sun.", "id": 18930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the desert, an afternoon tea\nIs served poshly by camels at three.\nThere the Bactrian crew\nOffers, \"One hump or two?\nWould you care for some French patisserie?\"", "id": 18931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A novice French cook who was flustered\nIn making his very first custard\nUsed a hot bain-marie,\nA device from Paris,\nSo his custard can now cut the mustard.", "id": 18932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "She cried, \"Out, damned spot! Out,\" in the play,\n\"Be you blood of type O, B, or A!\"\nHer mind all besotted,\nHer hands all beclotted,\nPoor Lady Macbeth scrubbed away.", "id": 18933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The demise of his hair\u2014diabolical!\nHe mourned each and every lost follicle.\nThe once-hirsute Misha\nBewailed alopecia\nWith bald-faced chagrin melancholical.", "id": 18934, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Today, whether tied or untethered,\nA bird may be thoroughly weathered.\nBut yesteryear's bird\nWas a word that referred\nTo the young of a tribe that is feathered.", "id": 18935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some colleagues may call me a slob,\nNot patrician, just one of the mob,\nYet it's some compensation:\nMy orientation\nIs without any doubt antisnob.", "id": 18936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "\"This drink smells discernibly off,\" he\nComplained. \"And it tastes like burnt toffee.\"\nI laughed. \"What a gaffe!\nThat half-empty carafe\nCaused a brouhaha over bad coffee!\"", "id": 18937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If you know your New Testament facts,\nYou're aware of the book that's called Acts.\nWhile some scriptural fossils\nAdd \"...of the Apostles,\"\nA short name fits better in tracts.", "id": 18938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Put the badderlocks seaweed of Europe\nIn a blender with water, and whir up.\nIt's a liquid hors d'oeuvre;\nPour in glasses and serve\nOn the rocks (or perhaps you'll prefer \"up\").", "id": 18939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "In radians per second we find\nThe velocity (angular kind)\nOf an object that moves\nIn some circular grooves.\nMy head's spinning\u2014how fast is my mind?", "id": 18940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "For the bounty bestowed by our Maker\nAnd the skills of the cook and the baker,\nWe give thanks here today\nAnd with gratitude pray:\nMay God bless every giver and taker.", "id": 18941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "This advice comes from old farmer Arden:\nPut a top-dressing over your garden.\nSummer sun ever hotter\nDepletes precious water;\nSpread bark mulch so soil won't harden.", "id": 18942, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The chauffeur for Carlos \"The Clamp\"\nWas a minor-league crook known as \"Scamp\".\nBut he ogled Clamp's chick\u2014\nGot a major-league crick\nAptly called an accessory cramp.", "id": 18943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In the pub down the street, we play darts\nLate at night when the rabble departs.\nThe game's three-o-one:\nGet to zero \u2014 you're done,\nAnd a bull's-eye determines who starts.", "id": 18944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A belter is not like a crooner.\nHe'll give you a headache much sooner.\nYour sister won't flip\nFor this loud-singing drip\nUnless she's a hired-on swooner.", "id": 18945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "George Boole wasn't idle a lot.\nHe churned out ideas on the spot,\nMaking marvellous use of\nInclusive/exclusive\nExpressions like AND, OR, and NOT.", "id": 18946, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "There is one with your name on, they say,\nAnd in war zones it might come your way.\nBut no bullet can know\nWho I am \u2014 where to go \u2014\nFor it hasn't been given my na...", "id": 18947, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Baloney is sausage or tosh,\nJust as bilgewater's tosh or just slosh.\nTommyrot is the same:\nSimply humbug so lame\nThat it's blather for parties faux posh.", "id": 18948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "When my limerick trips on a snag,\nI get stressed 'cause it raises a flag.\nVeterans snipe, \"Now I gotcha!\nRecall what I taughtcha!\"\nShrill alarms make creation a drag.", "id": 18949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "On TV, Sarah G. would portray her;\nAs a hero, she's clearly a player.\nThis diminutive blonde\nCould outfight Jimmy Bond:\nShe's Buffy the Vampire Slayer.", "id": 18950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Agonistic discussions delight\nIn the tension, the struggle, the fight\nBetween two opposed factions\nOf thoughts, words, or actions.\nThey aim both to teach and incite.", "id": 18951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "\"9W, Dummkopf!\" said he.\n'Twas the maestro's curt answer to me.\nTo my question refer:\n\"Mr. Wagner, good sir,\nDoes your last name begin with a V?\"", "id": 18952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The blue heron, with long legs and beak,\nHunts for frogs in the depths of the creek.\nAs it soars to the fog\nOf its home near the bog,\nIt exhibits a noble physique.", "id": 18953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "He's a dashing and bold buccaneer\nWith a swashbuckling, golden career.\nHe raided the Main\nFrom Haiti to Spain,\nAnd he stashed all the cash in Zaire.", "id": 18954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "At the fair, the old snaggletoothed carny\nMade a statement I thought to be blarney:\n\"Now, ladies and gents,\nIn the first of our tents\nWe've the huge purple dinosaur, Barney!\"", "id": 18955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Administratorship's duties are many;\nAll you leaders-to-be, nota bene:\nIt's a management shmuck\nWho sees only the buck...\nNot the nickel, the dime, and the penny.", "id": 18956, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When you called me a blinkard, dear sir,\nI had thought that you meant to refer\nTo the blinders a horse\nWears while racing, of course\u2014\nNot \"a slow-witted person,\" you cur.", "id": 18957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "His prize-winning opera brings\nThis composer less kudos than slings.\nHe's famous for one ditty\nSteeped in profundity:\nBarber's Adagio for Strings.", "id": 18958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There is nothing my wife ever lacks;\nShe likes caviar best for her snacks,\nBut my paycheck's obstructed\nBy what's weekly deducted \u2014\nNo wonder I'm so antitax.", "id": 18959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "I accept this is not quite the norm;\nI don't care if it's cold or it's warm.\nIn one state you can't seize me;\nAllotropy frees me\nTo be in far more than one form.", "id": 18960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you drink dry champagne from a flute\n(It's the nectar of gods, made from fruit),\nThen recall Julius Caesar\u2014\nThat old Roman geezer\nSaid something like, \"Et tu, you brute!\"", "id": 18961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She was star of the play (summer stock),\nAnd the prettiest girl on the block.\nWhen she said, \"See you soon,\"\nI fell down in a swoon;\nWish my love life had been anti-shock.", "id": 18962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Aw's what you say if you're smitten\nBy a cute little puppy or kitten;\t\nOr feel disappointed\nOn days all disjointed;\nAnd when by the love bug you're bitten.", "id": 18963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Steam rises, smoke wafts, white clouds merge;\nWaves of water converge on a surge.\nBillows bend weeping willows,\nFill clear sleeping pillows,\nAnd carry each mourning dove's dirge.", "id": 18964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If your Fido's \"Fidelio's Song\nIma Teapot,\" now don't get me wrong,\nBut pound puppies, for me,\nBeat the whole AKC\n(That's American Kennel Club) throng.", "id": 18965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "An arbalest maker named Gunn\nWas the castle's best lover, bar none.\nBut the gals got a chill\nAt his \"Call me Atil-\nliator the Crossbowman, Hon.\"", "id": 18966, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "As a hooligan, he and his mates\nHunted bishops, to piss on their pates.\nBut their lives took a lurch:\nThey went into the church,\nAnd are archiepiscopate straights.", "id": 18967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "In list after list, you can learn\nIt means \"guest becomes family.\" Spurn\nThat spurious host!\nAgenhina's a ghost\nWord \u2014 a lexical pratfall (from Byrne).", "id": 18969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "I'm a pacifist. Therefore, by golly,\nI'd find it the utmost in folly\nTo seek melee and riot\nIn love. Strong but quiet,\nMy lad's brave and fine \u2014 braw, not brawly.", "id": 18970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In reaction to hubris and knavery,\nShe fought to escape Roman slavery.\nBoudica's tribe's loss\nAt the site of Kings Cross\nIs remembered for fierceness and bravery.", "id": 18971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "There are times blench means \"blanch\", to turn white,\nAs you might from a fright in the night.\nIts main meaning: draw back,\nOr just flinch, from a lack\nOf the guts to face fear or to fight.", "id": 18972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Stir your drink, sir?\" \u2014 but James Bond demurred.\n\"You should know that it's shaken, not stirred!\nThough it sounds rather picky,\nI once stirred a Mickey,\nAnd woke up, my vision all blurred.\"", "id": 18973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's not Wendy's in little kids' eyes,\nNor McDonald's, though that may surprise.\nAt times they want treats\nOf flame-broiled eats\nAnd repeats of BK Chicken Fries.", "id": 18974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "He emerged from his bath one fine day\nThinking \"sunshine\", and \"birds\", and \"bouquet\";\nLeft his house, unaware\nHe was totally bare,\nAs he blithely walked off on his way.", "id": 18975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "He was viewed as a bastard by some \u2014\nAnd this candidate came off as dumb.\nBut he said, \"From that crowd\nThere's no questions allowed;\nI will brook no debate from that scum!\"", "id": 18976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "After dinner, we'd both had our fill\nBut no check, and I looked hard at Will.\n\"I won't let you get stuck \u2014\nYou've been down on your luck,\nAnd 'twas I ate the duck. Where's the bill?\"", "id": 18977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Your mother was sorry to shame ya,\nBut birthing you caused adynamia.\nYour name's got uniqueness\nFor she, in her weakness,\nWent nuts\u2014so you're called \"Macadamia.\"", "id": 18978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If you stick to the law as decreed\nAnd abide by the rules, there's no need\nTo resist your arrest\nAs Her Majesty's guest:\nYou'll be found free of guilt and be freed.", "id": 18980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Ahigh means the same as aheight,\nAnd frankly I think that we might\nGet rid of it too,\nSince it's certainly true\nThat its use is now woefully slight.", "id": 18981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ray K. Fray cried, \"Say, Jay Clay, pray stay!\nThey may bay, 'Hooray, prey! Hey, gay \"Fay\"!'\"\n\"Eh? I'll splay, flay \u2014 nay, slay, Ray,\nA gray bigot today, Ray!\nStray! Fey sway is play Ray's way...Okay!?\"", "id": 18982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "From page one of a ten-volume book,\nA worm ate to the last page. It took\nSeven claims statisticians\nAnd mathematicians\nTo prove the sly bookworm a crook.", "id": 18983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There was once a failed fakir from Seoul\nWho applied rather hotly for dole,\nFor despite risk of burning,\nHe'd tested a yearning\nTo sleep on his bed of hot coal.", "id": 18984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Pregnant Mary was reading divinity,\nSo had to proclaim her virginity.\nWhen she gave triplets birth,\nThey engendered sly mirth \u2014\nBut they fostered as well a new Trinity.", "id": 18986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When a bottlenose whale died today,\nRugged boatmen wiped teardrops away.\nOthers smirked, as dolts do,\nUnaware that those who\nLack compassion will make our world pay.", "id": 18987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The avalanche hurtled downhill,\nWhilst below, some cried, \"Stay, come what will!\"\nThe applicability\nOf such imbecility\nIn this situation is nil.", "id": 18988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The tourist in Venice, you'll find,\nIs to architectonics inclined.\nBut here's a strange case\u2014\nThough you live in the place,\nAs to buildings, Venetian, you're blind!", "id": 18989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Amen Corner, alas, is no more.\nIt was bombed in the Second World War.\nThere monks in procession\nEn route to confession\nCried \"Aaaay-men!\" the centuries o'er.", "id": 18990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An azymite handed me bread.\nI asked for ciabatta instead.\nA Catholic priest,\nHe could serve me no yeast\u2014\nSo a Greek one ensured I was fed.", "id": 18991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My backache's not caused by sciatica,\nInflammation, or spasms rheumatic-a.\nBlame my spinal condition\nOn a yogic position\nI tried on a trip to Karnataka.", "id": 18992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Of Copacabana I dream;\nMy love for Bel\u00e9m is extreme;\nFor Recife I'd die\u2014\nA Brazil nut am I!\nThe almendron's my tree, it would seem.", "id": 18993, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An asylum's a safe, sheltered place\nYou might seek when your tribe's in disgrace,\nAnd the rest want to sack you,\nTo rape you, attack you,\nBecause of your creed or your race.", "id": 18994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "Accrued income is nothing to spend,\nThough it's due just before the year's end.\nWhile I wait for my dough,\nI've no money and so\nDo you have any cash you can lend?", "id": 18995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In the quaint northern city of Red Wing,\nSome folks say at night that the dead sing.\nBut as I was once told,\n\"Oh, ya betcha it's cold,\nAnd that noise is the squeak of each bedspring.\"", "id": 18996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Adam looked at me, shaking and peeved.\n\"Eve, I've never felt quite so deceived.\"\nI said, \"Hon, it won't kill us.\nBig deal: we're aphyllous.\nDon't like it? We'll just get re-leaved.\"", "id": 18997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "There is no one who dares disagree\nWith my nastiest rule or decree,\nFor I'll stand no debate.\nThis autocracy's great\u2014\nSince the government's ruled by just me.", "id": 18998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My gas pedal's down; I ain't brakin'\nFer nothin'; my Dodge is a-shakin'.\nThere's no second place\nIn this one-on-one race.\nEat my dust while I bring home the bacon.", "id": 18999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When the priest raised his knife I said, \"What's\nWith the dagger, my friend? Are you nuts?\"\nHe said, \"You'll tell our fate\u2014\nOur aruspex can't wait\u2014\nSo relax while I help spill your guts.\"", "id": 19000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "It's not easy to live as a god;\nPeople curse me and tell me I'm odd.\nThough I'm packed with aseity,\nI'm called a false deity.\nOh, flesh\u2014such a joyless fa\u00e7ade!", "id": 19001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In my youth, I had eyes like a kewpie;\nNow my lids have become rather droopy.\nI'd have blepharoplasty,\nBut surgery's nasty\nAnd makes me excessively loopy.", "id": 19002, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The cloth was aligned on the bias\nIn the robe made for Brother Matthias.\nThis diagonal cut,\nBy concealing his gut,\nMade him look rather slender and pious.", "id": 19004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "The insurance man sold me some stuff\n'Cause his spiel was relentless and tough.\nI'm no sensible man, though\u2026\nDismemberment plan? Oh\nI reckon it's armless enough.", "id": 19005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Bhutanese plant their special red rice\nBeside streams fed by glacier ice.\nIt's a mineral dream,\nAnd tastes nice cooked with cream,\nBut it's quite Himalayan in price.", "id": 19006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "I've a six year-old ghoul with a pout;\nShe's so bashful she's filled with grave doubt.\nTrick or treating's no fun\nWithout tricks to be done.\nShe's afraid to say \"Boo!\" when she's out.", "id": 19007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Poor old Homo Neanderthalensis\nHad brows that were truly immense. Is\nHis Stone Age demise\nDue to over-browed eyes\nAnd occlusion of ocular senses?", "id": 19008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Need a substance achieving some end?\nWhat's available doesn't contend?\nMix some x and some y;\nTraits of both, you'll descry,\nWill appear in a well-chosen blend.", "id": 19009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "I suppose you would dub me \"Obsesser,\"\nFor it's true that I wish to possess her.\nUntil then, I shall bank\n(From the bottles she drank)\nAll her backwash, arrayed on my dresser.", "id": 19010, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "The government troops are advancing,\nGetting closer to Flint, nearby Lansing.\nMy movie 'bout Bush\nKicked some ticket-sale tush;\nNow the heat's making flight seem worth chancing . . . .", "id": 19011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "An allergy: alien matter\nCauses IgE, and it's the latter\nThat causes the swelling\nAnd feeling-unwelling\nAs mast cells make tissue much fatter.", "id": 19012, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If he opts not to stop at a spot\nWhere the host pours a shot in a pot,\nHe would shop for a beer\nWhere it's posh and too dear,\nAnd the sot finds the hops not so hot.", "id": 19013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A bosh is a blast furnace floor,\nLike a funnel that has a side door,\nWhere iron looks sunny,\nGets soft, and then runny,\nAnd slides down the trough in a pour.", "id": 19014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"My mischievous flock's on the lam!\"\nSobbed Bo Peep as she searched for her ram.\n\"Lamb curry's a no go;\nIt's truly a low blow.\nI guess we'll just have to eat SPAM!\"", "id": 19015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "A friend of mine once had a car\nThat could talk, though its diction was far\nToo precise. If a door\nHadn't shut, it would roar,\n\"You cretin, a door is a jar.\"", "id": 19016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Akathisia results in distress\nAnd a restless emotional mess\nFrom the drugs that you take\nFor your sanity's sake \u2014\nNot unlike being sixteen, I'd guess.", "id": 19017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "As the clowns down below hear my speech,\nI proclaim, \"Once more into the breech!\"\nThe cannon is loaded\nWith me! Then exploded\u2014\nAnd that's why good spelling I preach.", "id": 19018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"This is politics, Joe, I said bunt!\"\n\"Just a tap of the ball? An affront!\nWhen you're selling a lie,\nKnock it up to the sky!\nAnd besides, I'm convinced you said punt.\"", "id": 19019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Up the road, fifty feet, late in summer:\nSeven cars, quite a wreck\u2014what a bummer.\nWell, I'm glad to report\nMy convertible's short,\nSo I made it just under the Hummer.", "id": 19020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Fig-marigolds?  Odds are you've seen 'em.\nAizoaceae also can mean 'em.\nRockroses and ice plants\n(Invasive not-nice plants);\nEcologists wish they could screen 'em.", "id": 19021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Rainbow boas are favored by folk\nWho raise snakes.  They're not hard to provoke,\nBut true damage is rare\nIf you treat them with care.\n(Put one on like a scarf and you'll croak.)", "id": 19022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "ABC soil's horizons, my dear,\nAre the layers that in it appear.\nThe loam we call A;\nB is subsoil, OK?\nAnd C is the rock fragments.  Clear?", "id": 19023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My father's convinced he's a horse,\nWhich impedes conversation, of course.\nIf my mother should say,\n\"Want some lunch?\", he'll just neigh.\nAs for me, I'm bilingual, perforce.", "id": 19024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I yelled, \"Stop! That is not what I wanted!\"\nBut my sign painter pushed on, undaunted.\n\"So my A's look like stairs.\nI say, who the hell cares?\nI don't do anti-alias fonted.\"", "id": 19025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I may paint all my atriums white\nIn order to maximise light,\nAs they soar from the floor\nSeven storeys or more\u2014\nNo, I've not built them yet\u2014but I might!", "id": 19026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "He lives in the park in a box.\nHis pillows are nothing but rocks.\nWith no food and no shoes,\nThis life's not what he'd choose.\nHis absolute poverty shocks.", "id": 19027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Mom made an accordion fold\nIn a paper she gave me to hold.\nShe said, \"Here is a fan\nYou can use in our van\nTo cool off, though it won't make you cold.\"", "id": 19028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Though I don't hold a lofty position,\nI've got an expensive ambition.\nI want restaurants, bars,\nFancy motor homes, cars...\nLots of cash is my dream acquisition.", "id": 19029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many cats enjoy catnip and find\nThat it drives them right out of their mind.\nAfter going berserk,\nThey'll stretch out with a smirk,\nAs to catnap they're rather inclined.", "id": 19031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "'We have held ourselves back and delayed it;\nOft spoken of love, though not made it.'\nSo he breathed in her ear\nAnd she liked the idea,\nBut not the bad breath that conveyed it.", "id": 19032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Acadian French can be heard\nOn Prince Edward Island.  The word\nFrom New Brunswick, the same.\nNova Scotia?  They're game!\nThere are homes where these words are preferred!", "id": 19033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "An article grows in my head,\nBut the references yet to be read\nMean it hasn't been written,\nThat erudite bit on\nA subject some centuries dead.", "id": 19034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Beverly Hills lives Fitzpatrick.\nHis taste? Well, it's amphitheatric.\nHis ultimate goal:\nPlay the Hollywood Bowl,\nAnd to triumph three times\u2014that's a hat trick!", "id": 19035, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As he juggles three mugs and a spoon,\nAnd he whistles a light-hearted tune\nAt the Shriners' convention,\nWe pay no attention;\nThis balatron's just a buffoon.", "id": 19036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "\"O tenor with pager, why pout?\"\n\"My beeper, sir, never rings out.\"\nWhen I asked why this was,\nHe confessed, \"It's because\nMy talent is somewhat in doubt.\"", "id": 19037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When remodeling, make your heart soar;\nYou should cherish your latest decor.\nTo ensure your success\nWith a look to impress,\nMake your ingress a door to adore.", "id": 19038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A behind-the-scenes view: look at me\nTorture words anapestically.\nAs I struggle for rhyme\nOn the company's time,\nI am torn into shreds by a WE.", "id": 19039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Belatedly, let me just say:\n\"Happy birthday to you!  Hip hooray!\"\nI forgot (damn and blast it!)\nAnd now you are past it:\nYou're thirty years old and a day.", "id": 19040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Malcolm Arnold, the talented Brit,\nCreates music of great charm and wit.\nAnd he wrote, what is more,\nThe great River Kwai score,\nWhich could well be the man's greatest hit.", "id": 19041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "If your life's an adventurous story, it\nMay raise you to honour and glory; yet\nFor true elevation,\nPursue education.\nBegin with a good baccalaureate.", "id": 19042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "If you hate when you're asked \"What's your age?\",\nThere's a way to respond that's the rage.\nA biennium's years\nCut in half what one hears;\nThe result's not as easy to gauge.", "id": 19045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Here's how benzocaine works when hurts reign:\nIt blocks signals from nerves to the brain.\nUse for bites or on rash\nOr when baby's gums gnash\nOr on burns for relief from the pain.", "id": 19046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "A biased glass belt (or steel wire)\nProtects against punctures so dire.\nAt a slant to the tread,\nIt stops flats that we dread.\nWithout it, you'd have to re-tire.", "id": 19047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "The plague, or Black Death, was bubonic\nThough some think 'twas also pneumonic.\nRude carts choked the streets,\nFilled with dead wrapped in sheets,\nFor they lacked penicillin as tonic.", "id": 19048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "At the Gulf, we went camping with naught\nBut some rice and a seine that we brought.\n\"Jambalaya!\" we laughed,\nAnd enjoyed a warm draught\nWith the shrimp and blue crabs that we caught.", "id": 19049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX and nevadaace", "limerick": "That's my masterpiece; stop throwing darts.\nIt's much more than the sum of its parts.\nSo please put down that can;\nIt says A.R.A., man:\nFrom the Royal Acad'my of Arts.", "id": 19050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "The warrior crept through the cave,\nWhose depths were as dark as the grave.\nHis quest?  Shave some hair\nFrom the back of a bear.\nThis Apache's one hell of a brave.", "id": 19051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Brutish and blaming, for he\nIs as .......... ignorant as he can be.\nGrant no ... grace to a man\nOf the ....... other man's clan \u2014\nThat's the . theory that bigots decree.", "id": 19052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The Amish: an old-fashioned sect\nWhose followers tend to reject\nMost modern inventions \u2014\nThey keep the conventions\nOf Mennonite views they respect.", "id": 19053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When she said she was quite assentaneous,\nI assumed her remark was extraneous.\nBut I found with delight\nShe was actually right \u2014\nAcquiescence was full and spontaneous.", "id": 19054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The gaseous element argon\n(Ar is its chemical jargon)\nWould seem not to hurt\nSince it's wholly inert,\nBut don't breathe it alone or you're far gone.", "id": 19055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Absinthium's a most bitter plant\nCalled \"wormwood\", and eat it you can't.\nBut in absinthe (the drink)\nIt's much better I think;\nJust a few sips will truly enchant.", "id": 19056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When using the short form abt.,\nMake sure that it's not spelled without\nIts terminal dot,\nBecause if it's not,\nThere'll be doubt that it does mean \"about\".", "id": 19057, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Folks adored charming President Kennedy,\nSo seldom enquired as to when h'd he\nSuccumbed to dumb need\nTo sow juvenile seed\nOn his way towards Dallas and threnody.", "id": 19058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It contains things to chew on, a blik,\nLike the can that cats lick and kids kick \u2014\nOh, is that Afrikaans?\nWell, in English they're slants\nOn religion or life \u2014 take your pick.", "id": 19059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "We'll tread this fresh ground more and more \u2014\nForm a track where none travelled before.\nSince your mousetrap's the best,\nAll the world's on a quest:\nTo beat out a path to your door.", "id": 19060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and Workshop", "limerick": "When your horse draws up short of a gate\nAnd won't jump, it's already too late.\nMine gave it a glance,\nNeighed, \"Whoa, buddy, fat chance!\"\nAnd committed a balk. Got that straight?", "id": 19061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In the Senate, they sit on their rumps;\nAnd the House? A collection of schlumps!\nIn two chambers they yammer all\nDay. They're bicameral.\n(No, son. They don't have two humps.)", "id": 19062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If the gas gauge reads \"E\" in your Hummer \u2014\nFlunked three courses; it's school for the summer \u2014\nYou've two months left of life \u2014\nBeen cut off by your wife \u2014\nNo two ways: without doubt, it's a bummer.", "id": 19063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In a tony Fifth Avenue bootery,\nI heard spoken, \"Such upper-class snootery!\"\nThis apt turn of phrase\u2014\nSuch an image conveys!\nI remarked on her charming bijouterie.", "id": 19064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Bill and Sue got caught up in amour-dom.\nHe was hers and she so much adored him.\nBut fourteen months after \u2014\nThey ran out of laughter;\nThey'd nothing in common but boredom.", "id": 19065, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For her birthday, I wrote Mom a ditty,\nAnd baked her a cake that looked pretty;\nBut trying to wow 'er,\nUsed cornmeal for flour.\nThe cake turned out arenose (gritty).", "id": 19066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Our chic accent lighting was new,\nAnd we couldn't decide what to do.\nShould we light up this chair\nOr that couch over there?\nShould we light up the picture frame, too?", "id": 19067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "A blue screen is good to obtain\nFor filmmaking legerdemain\nWith composite effects\nThat are meant to perplex.\n(When computing, it's more of a pain.)", "id": 19068, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If a quip's so high-flown it's a flop\n(\"I shall swallow the sea\u2014every drop!\"),\nDon't be fooled; I suspect\nIt's a jest for effect.\nThe adynaton's over the top.", "id": 19069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "When two moldings should happen to meet\nAt an angle that's sharp and discrete,\nAn arris appears.\nBut not, to my ears,\nRichard 'Arris's 'orrible feat.", "id": 19070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Hey, gar\u00e7on, come and look at my dish.\nThere is something all over my fish.\"\n\"Those are capers,\" said he,\n\"Pickled flower buds, see?\nAnd delish as a nosher could wish.\"", "id": 19071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Low basses sing deep as the seas\nWhile tenors hold melody's keys.\nThe altos aspire\nTo notes that are higher.\nSopranos superior? Please!", "id": 19072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "When the buirdly young Scot in the kilt\nLost his balance and started to tilt,\nWith his tartan askew,\nIt was clear from the view\nHe was burly and very well built.", "id": 19073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "My sweetheart, ineffable Johnny,\nIs neither well-favored nor brawny.\nBut his humor and books\nTrump big muscles and looks.\nAs I see him, he's thoroughly bonny.", "id": 19074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My attentive new husband DeWayne\nIs beside me through sunshine and rain.\nBut now I'm confessing\nI find it distressing;\nSuch closeness is blessing and bane.", "id": 19075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "A bikini is what people call\nA swimsuit so skimpy and small\nThat whenever you wear it\n(I've heard this, I swear it),\nIt's like wearing nothing \"atoll.\"", "id": 19076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "School has too many evils to list 'em,\nAnd there's no way a kid can resist 'em.\nSo I walk, holding hands\nWith that bully, Steve Lands,\nBecause of the dumb buddy system.", "id": 19077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "\"Say, 'Ah,'\" says the doc. From his coat\nComes an otoscope (see author's note).\nBut a bronchoscope goes\nAs a tube through your nose,\nFor a look that's way down in your throat.", "id": 19078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "An alto is singing as low\nAs most women's voices will go.\nBut alto means high!\nIt is, for a guy.\nAnd once, gal performer meant ho.", "id": 19079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Brilliant purple and red bougainvillaea:\nIt's so lush that I near didn't see ya.\nLet your limbs intertwine\n'Midst that wild woody vine.\nYou're so pretty a pair.  I won't free ya.", "id": 19080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BrownieGirl", "limerick": "A baby, so small and unique,\nIs strong, though its body is weak.\nIt compels what you do\nWith its food, clothes, and poo,\nNot to mention the nappies that leak.", "id": 19081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My book about dogs would be better\nWithout misprints ('round every tenth letter!).\nYou can see what's the trouble in\n\"Pritned in duBlin\" \u2014\nThe work of a wild Irish setter.", "id": 19082, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "B. J. Emmons", "limerick": "The bell maker's head was just reeling,\nHis error, no chance of concealing.\n\"It sounds like I've used\nThe wrong alloy,\" he mused.\n\"This bell metal's sure unappealing.\"", "id": 19083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "A brazen-faced hussy is stalking\nThe fellow with whom I am walking.\nHe doesn't object\nTo her bold disrespect\u2014\nIt's the subject on which we are talking.", "id": 19084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "How'd that brownie, high up on the shelf,\nTo the chocolatey square help itself?\nPiece of cake: one's caloric\nAnd one's allegoric\u2014\nA small, friendly family elf.", "id": 19085, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I tried to hunt lions for sport.\nShot the face, so I had to resort\nTo stuffing his rear\nFor a trophy\u2014oh, dear!\nA catastrophe?  Yes, of a sort.", "id": 19086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Not unlike an elongated shoe,\nIt's a boat that holds two: me and you.\nHere's my problem: I fear\nI don't know how to steer,\nSo I'll worriedly ask you, \"Canoe?\"", "id": 19087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "I confess I would feel out of place\nIf this Ferris wheel flew into space.\nBreathing freely's my plan\n(I'm an oxygen fan),\nSo I'll stay on the ground, just in case.", "id": 19088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My mom says we don't have the means\nTo buy every hot brand that tempts teens.\nSo although we're not poor,\nDiesel's out, and she's sure\nI'll survive in my 501 jeans.", "id": 19089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Stocks are up and the market is flyin'.\nGotta cover\u2014there ain't no denyin':\nWe were short; we were wrong.\nGuess we shoulda been long\n'Cause the bulls are in town, and they're buyin'.", "id": 19090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "If tangled in thorns, I suppose a\nBotanical sort might say, \"Rosa!\"\nOr \"Smilax!\" My pliers\nJust yanked \"those (blank) briers!\"\nFrom briery scalp-a and toes-a.", "id": 19091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Drive a car in the city? No fun!\nTraffic's crazy. Road etiquette? None.\nDrivers curse and they bark,\nAnd what's worse\u2014you can't park.\nI just call for a cab, and I'm done.", "id": 19092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "I'm just back from my adenoidectomy,\nWhich is oft done with \u2014 OUCH! \u2014 tonsillectomy.\n  Doctors promised no pain,\n  But I think they're insane;\nHaving cuts in my throat hurt like heck to me.", "id": 19093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "In your tissues, you hope won't exist\nAny sort of acephalocyst.\nIt's the globular germ\nOf a larval tapeworm;\nWhen it grows, you are bound to be pissed.", "id": 19094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This pollywog (juvenile frog)\nIs a key ecological cog.\nWe're the world's resource hog:\nSo afflictive's our smog\nWe may kill every frog in this bog.", "id": 19095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm the spider that sat down beside\nThat Miss Muffet, who ran off and cried.\nTried to pick the wench up\nWith an offer to sup.\nWhat abashment! A blow to my pride!", "id": 19096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Have a patient you'd like to sedate?\nThen the anion bromide is great!\nAn alternative way?\nFind a boring clich\u00e9,\nAn old bromide you'd like to relate.", "id": 19097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Barehanded, you're fighting a bear?\nThere are claws on its paws, you're aware?\nI was recently pawed\nBy a panda named Claude\u2014\nOr the other way 'round? Couldn't swear.", "id": 19098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That magnet's designed to attract,\nBut he's not just attractive, in fact,\nSince he equally well\nCan repulse and repel\nIf he's lacking in charm and in tact.", "id": 19099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A breaker's a dohickey which is\nAutomatically opening switches\nWhen a powerful surge\nPuts it over the verge,\nThus preventing electrical glitches.", "id": 19100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I think the italics look odd,\"\nSaid Robert. \"I like 'Son of God'\nWithout them.\" \"That's true.\nBut it's all up to you.\nThe decision's all yours, Bob,\" I nod.", "id": 19101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Kate swears she means no disrespect to me,\nBut her overtures don't seem correct to me.\nShe's got chutzpah, it's clear;\nFor my birthday last year\nShe got me an adenoidectomy.", "id": 19102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Want the bad guys to meet with disaster?\nSend a prayer to your local alastor.\nYou could do what they do\nIn Greek tragedies, true,\nBut the gods can accomplish it faster.", "id": 19103, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some say wordplay and puns are a sin\nBut I'm sorry, they just make me grin.\nTake a word like ajar.\nI would say insofar\nAs its use?  It's what pickles come in.", "id": 19104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "American fries are pan-fried\nSliced potatoes few Frenchman have tried.\nFurthermore, I can claim\nThat they won't change the name\nAs a way of reflecting French pride.", "id": 19105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Ancient of Days is the guy\nYou will meet, if you're good, when you die.\nHe's called \"God,\" \"Supreme Being,\"\n\"Jehovah,\" \"All-Seeing,\"\n\"That Big VIP in the Sky.\"", "id": 19106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I beg you, don't leave me, Miguel!\nYou have nothing to fear from Michelle.\nI need you to see\nShe was nothing to me\nBut a trifle, a mere bagatelle!", "id": 19107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With postpartum depression, there's news:\nThere are treatments a woman can choose\nThat will help to take care\nOf that post-birth despair\nThat's much worse than what's called baby blues.", "id": 19108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a play from a virtuous age\nThat I'm in, yet I lust to engage\nThe sweet wife of my co-star.\n(She's swayable so far.)\nThere's drama afoot\u2014all backstage.", "id": 19109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Lasting peace takes finesse; war is cruder.\nTake the plane that they call The Intruder.\nThe A-6 will prevail\nAfter peace forums fail.\nIf your plans involve bombs, you'll include 'er.", "id": 19110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I once knew a woman named Gail\nWhose alopecoid mystique I'll unveil:\nNimble quickness combined\nWith a devious mind,\nA sharp nose and a long bushy tail.", "id": 19111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There once was an art thief named Liam.\nIn all the best galleries you'd see him.\nAbstract art was his lust\nAnd his racket.  It's just\nWhat he did from a local museum.", "id": 19112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Cinderella had gone to the ball\nThough at midnight, I'm sure you recall,\nThe spell was complete,\nBut because of her feet\nShe wound up with the Prince after all.", "id": 19113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It is clear you won't earn any stars\nFor your work in this office of ours.\nWhen I said that your place is\nTo cover all bases,\nYou buried my four-stringed guitars??!", "id": 19114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The character played by Jack Benny:\nA miser who'd pinch every penny.\nThat was one of his jokes,\nBut in truth were there folks\nHalf as generous?  No, not that many.", "id": 19115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Hey, Beanpole!\"  (My dad called me that.)\n\"You're as thin as your Little League bat!\"\nI confess that I miss\nHearing nicknames like this.\n(There are others they use when you're fat....)", "id": 19116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "I'm stuck in a hot airless room,\nWith no oxygen left to consume.\nSomeone open a door!\nOr I'll faint to the floor \u2014\nWhile PowerPoint charts doom and gloom.", "id": 19117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Albuera was held by the Brits;\nMarshal Soult has to gather his wits.\nHe'll distract with a feint\nAnd attack where they ain't.\nBut a stubborn defence gives him fits.", "id": 19118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bill ricker", "limerick": "Excess cash?  Not too sure what to do?\nThen the abstinence theory's for you!\nShun your physical cravings\nAnd build up your savings!\n(For pleasure, watch treasure accrue.)", "id": 19120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Hail to Benjamin, here's a quick sample:\nThere's Franklin and Spock, for example.\nKubelsky's there too,\nAnd we hope that it's true\nThat his wallet had Benjamins ample.", "id": 19122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A vacation where Mickey's a must,\nOr a surgical shortcut to lust?\nShould the cash in the chests\nBuy a trip or new breasts?\nShe must choose:  California or bust.", "id": 19123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Obedience school? Fido's snicker\nInforms me I'll have to be slicker.\nHis attitude's set;\nHe thinks I am the pet,\nAnd he knows I can't handle my licker.", "id": 19124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "So your colony's got no romance?\nWant those insects to get up and dance?\nCatch a clue from their queen \u2014\nIt's a phero-moan scene\nThat will bring back the pants in your ants.", "id": 19126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Sir Lancelot taught him to fight,\nBut the jousting was cause for affright.\nHe had horrible visions\nOf violent collisions,\nAnd things that go bump in the knight.", "id": 19127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ethiopians likely concur:\nYour Mastercard's what they'd prefer.\nIf it's cold cash you proffer\nTo put in their coffer,\nThey'll shiver and say to you \"Birr!\"", "id": 19128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My new heart only lasted three days.\nAccelerated rejection's the phrase\nThat my doctor relates.\nSuch apt words for my dates \u2014\nMy heart's broken so fast my eyes glaze.", "id": 19129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My dispirited gloom's become chronic.\nPathetic, my life's anhedonic.\nThough despairing, I'm after\nYour limerick-caused laughter.\nSucceeding sometimes \u2014 how ironic.", "id": 19130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To charm you, perhaps to beguile,\nMake you smile, rank and file, for awhile,\nI'll provide you with verse.\nSome have tried and done worse.\nThere's no meaning \u2014 it's simply all style.", "id": 19131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A standoffish and distant \"Hello\"\nIs the best I can manage to show.\nThis is positive proof\nTo the world I'm aloof.\n\"What's a loof?\" people ask.  \"I don't know!\"", "id": 19132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Five photos of doors on display\nAt the artist's exhibit today:\nEach is lettered and glassed,\nAnd the one unsurpassed\nIs a picture of door E in gray.", "id": 19133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Acid-free?  That's an often-heard query\nFrom artists who've simply grown weary\nOf paper that fails\nTo preserve art's details.\nIt's also not Timothy Leary.", "id": 19134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Endless TV commercials don't thrill \u2014\nTo be truthful, they're making me ill.\nOpined my physician,\nWho checked my condition,\n\"Ad nauseam.  Sir, here's my bill.\"", "id": 19135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "What an evening that E. has just chaired;\nNo one else and his product compared.\nHe's ablaze through the night\n(Is he faster than light?) \u2014\nMr. E is a fine emcee squared.", "id": 19136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Never won a scholastic award \u2014\nI'm as dumb as a tree, all accord.\nStill it's clear, I conclude \u2014\nThe conductor was rude\nWhen he yelled in my face, \"All aboard!\"", "id": 19137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Was it right only righties were deft?\nAnd that teachers left lefties bereft?\nWhen lefties are branded,\nIt's not evenhanded.\nRight a wrong when you write with your left.", "id": 19138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A sweet apple pie with molasses\u2014\nAmbrosia, beloved by the masses.\nSo it is when Miss Gowdy\nMakes apple pandowdy\nFor kids in her cookery classes.", "id": 19140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Captain Dreyfus had reason to know,\nAt his trial, the word bordereau:\nThat piece of pure fiction\nSecured his conviction.\nAh well, it's a long time ago.", "id": 19141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Said a swan, \"As on opera I dote,\nI had hoped to contribute my note;\nIn Bayreuth my audition\nKilled all such ambition,\nBut I've got a job \u2014 towing a boat.\"", "id": 19142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Just Frankie, Annette, surf and sand\u2014\nBoy, those beach party movies were bland!\nIn those innocent days\nFrankie crooned, caught some rays;\nA teen idol who sang and got tanned.", "id": 19143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The movie's successful and then\nThey decide to just make it again.\nBut all things being equal,\nI'll sidestep the sequel:\nDanny Glover and Mel: Lethal Men.", "id": 19144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm an actor!  No job could be greater!\nAnd fame will come, sooner or later.\nI would die for my art!\nAnd my most recent part?\nI'm appearing in Schrafft's (as a waiter).", "id": 19145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Bear in mind when the pain's at its peak,\nYou must bear up, be brave, Dominique.\"\nIt is here Dr. Brown\nTells my wife to bear down\nTill her labor bears fruit, so to speak.", "id": 19146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Both my parents were born (this is key)\nBy the banks of the river Yangtze,\nBut the city of Perth\nWas the place of my birth,\nWhich is why they call me \"ABC.\"", "id": 19147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "They called it, in short, Beatlemania:\nA hysteria deep in the crania\nOf Beatle fanatics\nExpressed in dramatics\nAnd swooning from Maine to Albania.", "id": 19148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was interviewed then by this schmuck up\nIn HR, Mr. Steele, really stuck up.\nIt is not the BQ\n(Or \"Best Qualified\") who\nWill be hired, I'm sure.  It's the suck-up.", "id": 19149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In the '50s a real hot tamale,\nFran Allison, warbled, by golly!\nBut her greatest renown\nCame with Kukla the Clown\nAnd a single-toothed dragon named Ollie.", "id": 19150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a part of your facial physique\nWhere each nostril's attached to your cheek.\nIf a nose ring you wear\nBy your alar groove there,\nYou are quite undeniably chic.", "id": 19151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In America, looks are essential.\nFor top leadership, Bruce had potential.\nBy polls he was guided,\nBut voters decided\nBabbitt just didn't look presidential.", "id": 19152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach\nCame from excellent musical stock.\nHis father and grampa\nDid nothing to hampa\nHis joining the tuneful Bach flock.", "id": 19153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acne fulminans makes your life hell.\nYour appearance is apt to repel.\nSevere scarring (not pleasant)\nIs not all that is present\u2014\nThere are nastier symptoms as well.", "id": 19154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Indurata's an acne they say\nCan be cause for abysmal dismay.\nPustules make their debut\nOn your face (papules, too),\nAnd the scars?  They will not go away.", "id": 19155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term acne ciliaris applies\nTo follicular pustules that rise\nOn the sufferer's face\nIn a sensitive place:\nThey will form on the lids of his eyes.", "id": 19156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While it may jar your sense of aesthetics,\nThis cannot be blamed on genetics:\nThe acne that's known\nAs cosmetica's shown\nTo be caused by the use of cosmetics.", "id": 19157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Representative W. Blackney\nLearned to drive, one might guess, in a hackney.\nSure, he served General Motors\nAnd Michigan voters,\nBut his name makes a great rhyme for acne!", "id": 19158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bromide acne inspires the attitude\n(In me, anyway) of great gratitude.\nI'm glad it's a question\nOf bromide ingestion,\nAnd not caused by hearing a platitude.", "id": 19159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Nasty blackheads: a scourge that curtails\nThe high hopes of our horniest males.\nThey're frequently seen\nOn your average teen\nBut seldom, if ever, on snails.", "id": 19160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've an acneform rash, a real blitz,\nWith the texture of hominy grits.\nIs it acne or what?\nI'm not positive, but\nYou sure look like you're covered in zits!", "id": 19161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You take steroids?  Well, that's your affair.\nSteroid acne's a threat, so beware.\nWill your muscles be hits\nIf they're covered in zits?\n(On the plus side, though, blackheads are rare.)", "id": 19162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On the net I am selling recorders,\nSo no state's overseeing my orders.\nIn effect, cyber traffic\nIs a-geographic:\nNo countries, no limits, no borders.", "id": 19164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Young", "limerick": "Fred Astaire was the RKO king\nOf tapping to jazz or to swing.\nIn dance after dance\nHe would take every chance\nTo excel at that old buck-and-wing.", "id": 19165, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The \"!\" (called a bang) should belong\nIn a line where emotion is strong.\nIf you think that your writing\nIs made more exciting\nWith \"!!!!!\", you're wrong.", "id": 19166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The young cowpuncher, horseless, afoot,\nClothing tattered and covered in soot,\nWhen arrested for panhandling,\nCried, \"This is manhandling\nUp with which I will not put!\"", "id": 19167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An arrowsmith surely could screw us\nWith arrows shot utterly through us.\nIf he isn't the guy\nWith an arrow supply,\nHe's a book by the great Sinclair Lewis.", "id": 19168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In appearance, it looks like a shambles.\nIt's made up of bird spit and brambles.\nBird's nest soup: it's the kind\nOf a treat you won't find\nIn those red and white cans labeled \"Campbell's.\"", "id": 19169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "1550:  We started with buff\nMeaning \"buffalo\" (easy enough),\nBut there's more.  Thereupon\nThe word grew, so hang on\n'Cause the going's about to get rough!", "id": 19170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Later buff came to represent \"leather,\"\nThe kind used for uniforms whether\nYou marched or you rode,\nAnd the term in buff showed\nThat the Army had brought you together.", "id": 19171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since we're speaking of animal hides,\nAll the main etymology guides\nWill declare in the buff\nThen meant \"nude\" soon enough.\n(Also \"naked\" and \"starkers\" besides.)", "id": 19172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The meanings of buff grew and grew.\nIt's a verb and an adjective too.\nIt can mean \"make less dull,\" or\nRefer to a color:\nA yellowish-brown sort of hue.", "id": 19173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "1820: Throughout New York City\nWere \"buffs,\" often dirty and gritty\nFrom fires they'd fought.\nThey were fools, some folks thought,\nSince they didn't get paid.  (What a pity!)", "id": 19174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Baby buggies are useful, no doubt,\nWhen you're wheeling your baby about,\nBut they pose a sly threat\nTo the stuttering set:\nIf their bumpers are rubber, watch out!", "id": 19175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She was quite a remarkable blister\nWho believed that no man could resist her,\nSo imagine her shock\nWhen that night, 10 o'clock,\nI ran off and eloped with her sister!", "id": 19176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Goodbye, Greg.  So long, Eve.  Adieu, Herman.\nFarewell, Pat.  Ciao, Denise.  Bye-bye Sherman.\"\n(On our cap and gown day,\nThis is all he can say?\nWhat a dud baccalaureate sermon!)", "id": 19177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term babyware, everyone knows,\nMeans the stuff baby needs as he grows,\nBut if it is penned\nE-A-R at the end,\nThen it's clear you're just speaking of clothes.", "id": 19178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ben Affleck, a tabloid disclosed,\nFor the last dozen years hasn't dozed.\nSince the year '95:\nThirty films!  Man, alive!\nCould this guy be more overexposed?!", "id": 19179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bacchus Marsh, a small town in Victoria,\nBy its name seems to offer euphoria:\nWine, women, and song\n(In a swamp all day long?),\nIn a sensual phantasmagoria.", "id": 19180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Pope Adrian?  I can't tell you much.\nI'm sure he was pious and such.\nHalf a dozen we've had;\nNumber VI, I could add,\nWas the only pope ever born Dutch.", "id": 19181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Is there truth to the myth of Priscilla\nAnd John Alden?  No, not one scintilla!\nIt was Longfellow's curse:\nMis-historical verse\u2014\nLike Revere's midnight ride on Godzilla.", "id": 19182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A 10Q is sent on its way\nTo keep all SEC types at bay.\nUpon the receipt\nOf this info complete,\nThey'll say, \"10Q, and have a nice day!\"", "id": 19183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Is Nurse Beverley Allitt insane?\nHow else could you ever explain\nHer appalling attacks\nUpon children?  Her acts\nEnded lives for the notice she'd gain.", "id": 19184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term adequately wet was created\nTo reflect just how well penetrated\nBy water (the key)\nYour asbestos might be.\n(The term's not in the least bit X-rated.)", "id": 19185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Says a stockbroker friend, Honest Jacques,\n\"All your money's in bonds?  What a crock!\nYou want dividends floating\nTo benchmarks we're noting.\nBuy adjustable-rate preferred stock!\"", "id": 19186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I'm a Master of DeathBreath X-V,\nAnd I've only just turned 33!\"\nYour prattle's incessant,\nYou adultolescent!\nHow proud both your parents must be.", "id": 19187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Am I going to die?\"  \"Goodness no, Gram!\nNow the meat wagon's here\u2014in you go, Gram.\"\nEMTs on the scene\nLaunched their rescue routine:\nTheir advanced trauma life support program.", "id": 19188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My advice column, titled \"Ask Chuck,\"\nHas been cancelled for cause, drat the luck!\nTo folks single or married,\nMy advice never varied:\n\"Stop whining!  Be happy, you schmuck!\"", "id": 19189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For a knife fight, two morons were itchin',\nBut Joe just had stuff from Mom's kitchen.\nThe fight was a stand-off\nTill Joe chopped Bill's hand off.\nA butcher knife's power is bitchin'!", "id": 19190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An earnest old man (not some stoner)\nCalled me up to announce, \"I'm the owner\nOf knives that you sell\nAnd I like them real well.\nWhat I need now's a seven-inch boner.\"", "id": 19191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I took notes as Doc spoke on a visit.\n\"Seems you're anal-retentive,\" he says. \"It\nIs an infantile trait\u2014\"\nI said, \"No, I'm not! Wait...\nThat's not spelled with a hyphen, or is it?\"", "id": 19192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When you poured me that port from your cask,\nI had begged, \"Take it slow with the task.\"\nBut you didn't; I see\nLots of beeswing debris\nIn my glass. Was that too much to ask?", "id": 19193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When my daughter had turned twenty-one,\nI thought housing and feeding were done.\nBut that unemployed louse\nIs now back in my house;\nShe's a boomerang kid...like my son.", "id": 19194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In horror films, note the attack saw.\nIt's a chainsaw, and never a hacksaw,\nBut to shorten the dowel\nIn the rod for my towel,\nI'm happier using a backsaw.", "id": 19196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A model, she's so angel-fair,\nWith long legs and incredible hair.\nSee the sheen and the grace\nAs it highlights her face!\n(For a chick with a beard, that's quite rare!)", "id": 19197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Said a burned-out exec named McGee,\n\"To a high alpine meadow I'll flee!\"\nHe found solace and balm\nOn that beautiful alm,\nBut no place to plug in his TV.", "id": 19198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "On deck I bumped into the bos'n,\n(I was blinded perhaps by the los'n);\nAfter curses infernal\nHis reproof was paternal:\n\"At sea you must mind how you gos'n!\"", "id": 19199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "To a physicist (out of depravity)\nI told a rude joke. With great suavity\nHe asked, \"Is that funny?\"\nThis response (for my money)\nEstablished his absolute gravity.", "id": 19200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When you travel, avoid the temptation\nOf those cheap flights \u2014 to what destination?\nIf you go to a bucket\nShop, maybe Nantucket\nWill be where you will spend your vacation.", "id": 19201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "My calendar tells me the truth;\nI look at the date and\u2014forsooth!\u2014\nIt's the end of the month,\nYes, July 31th,\nOnly two days till August the 2th.", "id": 19202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "The sweet rose is composed of its petals,\nBut the azoth's the source of all metals.\nSo the alchemists thought;\nIt was gold that they sought.\nAren't you glad there's no azoth in kettles?", "id": 19203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "I haven't the words to express\nMy dismay at your averageness,\nWith your two point eight kids\nAnd... politeness forbids\nI go on.  Make an average guess.", "id": 19204, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "At a tavern in Spain there's a rota:\nWhen a guest doesn't finish his bota,\nIn turn, every waiter\nGets sooner or later\nTo drink it \u2014 and then dance the jota.", "id": 19205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "An ingenious young farmer of Wymondham\nGrew peaches; to store them he tymondham.\nBut the outcome was sad:\nThe whole lot went bad.\nWith great disappointment he bymondham.", "id": 19206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Avicula sounds like a bird,\nBut it's nothing like chicken, I've heard.\nIt's a bivalve quiescent\nWith half-shells pearlescent,\nThough for Po' Boys, the oyster's preferred.", "id": 19207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "The male of the bluethroats, or chats,\nHas blue and red marks and eats gnats.\nHe sings loudly and long\nLike the nightingale's song,\nAnd is reckoned delicious by cats.", "id": 19208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Escaping from prison, I crawl,\nAnd adhamant, I cling to the wall.\nBut my sudden descent\nIsn't quite what I meant\nWhen I said I'd be \"taking the fall.\"", "id": 19209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "A man from Duluth, Minnesota\nWas stuck out in darkest Dakota,\nSo he posted his choices,\nDetermined to voice his\nOwn views as an....", "id": 19210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The director yells, \"Lights, camera, action!\"\nBut the actors give no satisfaction.\nThe plot needs a clone\nOf Sylvester Stallone \u2014\nWoody Allen's the film's main attraction.", "id": 19211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the woods, I must travel with care;\nSavage grizzlies may give me a scare.\nWinding up as a lunch\nWouldn't thrill me a bunch.\nIt's a prospect I couldn't abear.", "id": 19212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "She's annoyed, really freaked out, and worse;\nShe's so bummed out, believes it's a curse.\nHer bad mood gives us fright;\nWhat a pickle\u2014her plight?\nThat her shoes don't match up with her purse.", "id": 19213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Gimme shelter,\" the Rolling Stones wail;\nThat's advice of which Jane took avail.\nBut the IRS felt her\nAbusive tax shelter\nIllegal and sent her to jail.", "id": 19214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the disco, 'neath circling light\nWe danced and we boogied each night.\nI remember the scene\nJust this past Halloween \u2014\nWe were dressed up as boogeymen, right?", "id": 19215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A real witch would never presume\nTo ride that through the night and the gloom.\nIt's enough to disparage\nYour taste in a carriage,\nBut horses in front of your brougham?", "id": 19216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For motion away from your middle,\nAbductor's the muscle you'll twiddle.\nOnce done with its task,\nMight the muscle then ask\nFor a ransom?  Perhaps \u2014 it's a riddle.", "id": 19217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Now where have you been, charming Billy?\nI'm alone, there's no kicks, and I'm chilly.\nWhen you come, don't be gruff;\nWe can play in the buff!\n(You know Billy's a goat, don't you, silly?)", "id": 19218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Trading stocks on the NYSE:\nIt's the Big Board, investors agree.\nThat's where using my brains\nRacked up capital gains.\nBig Excitement, not Big Bored for me!", "id": 19219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Bicameral government's way\nHas two bodies of lawmakers. They\nPass new laws.  My dumb friend\nWho could not comprehend\nAsked, \"Are one hump or two humps okay?\"", "id": 19220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The hucksters can make it a fraud way,\nAnd the prostitutes pitch you on bawd way.\nNonetheless, there are nights\nI am drawn to the lights\nAnd the beautiful sights here on Broadway.", "id": 19221, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's competitive, here on this cruise;\nEvery team has a color they choose.\nIn the cabin next door,\nThey chose red for their corps.\nAs for us, we're the berth of the blues.", "id": 19222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"I invented a rifle \u2014 a peach.\nSee the rear of the barrel \u2014 the breech?\nYou load bullets right there,\nAnd no gun can compare!\"\n\"Breech of promise,\" said some, to my speech.", "id": 19223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In that antediluvian clime,\nSeems the world was all groovy, sublime.\nNow we're stressed by the floods;\nMud has messed up our duds,\n'Cause you know we are toeing the slime.", "id": 19224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Pick an element. Do some exploring.\nTry adding some bromine while pouring.\nIf you mix them as stated,\nA compound's created.\nYou've just made a bromide.  That's boring.", "id": 19225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Your ragtop is clean, but it's plain\nThat your trip to the car wash means rain.\nStill you're there every day;\nYou've been programmed that way.\nPut the top up \u2014 they're washing your brain.", "id": 19226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We're unable to care for each other \u2014\nSelf-destruct while we kill one another.\nThe way we behave\nShapes the future we crave.\nKarmageddon's a bitch, ain't it brother?", "id": 19227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The terrorist's wearing a frown\n'Cause his bomb has been placed by a clown\nOn a farm in the sticks.\nNo more jobs for these hicks!\nHe'll be using a nuke hid in town.", "id": 19228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's three BDRMs, a great EIK,\nPlus an LR and FR for play.\nFAG wards off cold.\nYou can tell your wife's sold\n'Cause those blue bedroom eyes say \"Hurray!\"", "id": 19229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My kidney's infected. Docs say,\n\"BK virus has made it that way.\"\nGosh, did I come a-cropper\nBy eating that Whopper?\nPolyoma's what ails me today.", "id": 19230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You want background?  I'll give you BG,\nBut it has to be on the QT.\nI'm a clone of Deep Throat \u2014\nSee my coat? Here's a quote:\n\"If you squeal, I'll deny it was me.\"", "id": 19231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A canard that's so old that it's hoary:\nYou'll go blind if you do that's the story.\nInstead, you'll agree\nThat most people can see.\nScorn a statement derived a priori.", "id": 19232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "PC Santa Claus wants you to know\nThat his belly laugh's still good to go.\nDown the chimney he'll slide,\nThen he'll belt out with pride,\n\"Merry Christmas to all, Lady of the Evening, Lady of the Evening, Lady of the Evening.\"", "id": 19233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "A morsel of coconut wrapped\nIn a dark chocolate coating and capped\nWith a crunchable nut,\nThis treat makes the cut.\nAlmond Joy on the scene? Then I'm trapped!", "id": 19234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Just Think for Yourself, Honey Pie,\nWhat You're Doing is nuts. Tell Me Why\nThe Two of Us pout\nSince We Can Work It Out.\nPlease Please Me, I Cry, Baby, Cry.", "id": 19235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Write a lullaby, Brahms!\" He agrees\nTo write music as soft as the breeze.\nSoon the players implore,\n\"Won't Johannes the score?\"\nBut they play a few notes, and then ... zzz's.", "id": 19236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It was more than a run-of-the-mill cream;\nIt was made for men's hair \u2014 it was Brylcreem.\nJust a dab, that would do ya\n(The wet look would clue ya).\nFor a while, it was top-of-the-hill cream.", "id": 19237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "International All Hallow's Eve:\nMany costumes for you to perceive!\nThere's a striped barber Pole,\nSome fine China (drum roll),\nAnd a Czech in the mail, I believe.", "id": 19238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Abu Dhabi's emir, in the fez,\nIs so happy to meet with our Prez.\nHe wears Persian apparel;\nWe're over a barrel.\n\"And oil's well that ends well,\" he says.", "id": 19239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "As a linguist, I think it's a cheat\nThat amphibrach follows a beat\nThat's not amphibrach meter.\nThe language is sweeter\nWhen descriptions match metrical feet.", "id": 19240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's a film that the critics find grating\nAnd a bomb that the public is hating.\n\"It's a loser, a snooze,\"\nSay the news and reviews.\nIt's receiving a proper berating.", "id": 19241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Al's my pal who is thoroughly plastered,\nAnd charm is a skill he's not mastered.\nGive him gypsum; he'll scan it\nAnd take it for granite,\nWhile everyone calls Al a bastard.", "id": 19242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a shark at the beach.  He's not masking\nFearsome jaws, beady eyes, so I'm asking,\n\"Oh, you of sharp tooth,\nAre we safe?  Tell the truth.\"\n\"Relax, I'm just lying here basking.\"", "id": 19243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's the ultimate bash of the year;\nIf you're clay and absorbent, you're here!\nWipe that smudge from your collar \u2014\nYour wife's sure to holler,\n\"Just where have you bentonite, dear?\"", "id": 19244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "All the assets were sold where I work;\nCorporate raiders were going berserk.\nThen my girl, in a snit,\nTook my money and split.\n\"Breakup value,\" she said, with a smirk.", "id": 19245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A fisherman gaily relates\nThat he's cheaper than all of his mates.\nWhat keeps him so chipper?\nThis great coupon clipper\nIs priming his hooks with re-baits.", "id": 19246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My voice is beginning to cronk. I\nCan tell that my nose will soon honk. I\nCan scarce draw a breath\nAnd face imminent death\nThrough this tracheal pain \u2014 bucking bronchi.", "id": 19247, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Grabbed the coop from my pigeons (they'll fly),\nAnd a lady from Bangkok. Now I\nCan attend, like a winner,\nA fancy-pants dinner;\nI'll come with a cote and a Thai.", "id": 19248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"I'm starving,\" the artist declares.\n\"Though I paint from the heart, no one cares.\"\nThen today, boundaries stretch \u2014\nThe first steps of a sketch \u2014\nAnd at last, her art's drawing some stairs.", "id": 19249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Do I dare be a bee? Is that me?\nDress in stripes, buzz around, sting with glee?\nIt bewilders me, pard;\nIt bepuzzled the bard!\nSo to bee/not to bee? What's to be?", "id": 19250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Mount St. Helens, volcanic in fame,\nSince erupting has not been the same.\nShe felt chic, at her peak;\nNow she's pallid and bleak.\nShe's a crestfallen, ashen-faced dame.", "id": 19251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Although Gus would prefer a sarcophagus,\nHe's caught by a crazed anthropophagus.\nNot for cannibal stew,\nGus imbues a fine brew!\nAll the man-eaters relish a quaff o' Gus.", "id": 19252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The auto assembly line flies;\nWe're creating a car from supplies.\nBut the parts that I use\nHave run out.  There's no shoes.\n\"Gee, you'll gimme a brake, won't you guys?\"", "id": 19253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Dad's sister's resources were scanty;\nShe was forced to reside in a shanty.\nBut now she's just fine \u2014\nPlaying poker online,\nShe's won millions, thus upping the auntie.", "id": 19254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's some meat, there's some juice, what to do?\nWith this luncheon I haven't a clue.\nSought my rabbi's opinion\n(Must be his dominion):\nAdvice about roast beef au jus.", "id": 19255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There are poorer excuses for art, man,\nThan the song that proclaims \"Do the Bartman!\"\nIt was writ by those schlocks\nOf The Simpsons, on Fox.\n(If I beg, will they give me a part, man?)", "id": 19256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Though my story is trite and banal,\nI fashioned a golden calf doll\nWhich I plastered with money.\nYou may find that funny,\nBut I sure have a lot on the Baal.", "id": 19257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The bank robber's cornered, he's stuck.\nLike Clyde Barrow, he's plumb out of luck.\nBut he swallows the jack,\nThrows the cops off the track \u2014\nNot the last time he's passing the buck.", "id": 19258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "The bibliomaniac's creed:\n\"There are never enough books to read!\"\nHe may fill several homes\nWith his novels and tomes,\nBut he'll run for the Borders to breed.", "id": 19259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "'Twas a long time ago, can't say when,\nThat a dam blocked my brook.  Damn those men!\nBut tonight's when I'll strike;\nI'll demolish that dike!\nAnd the stream will flow free \u2014 bourn again.", "id": 19260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Beach Boys need haircuts.  The plan\nIs to visit their barber \u2014 a man\nWhose effeminate air\nIn the chair with their hair\nMakes them nickname the guy \"Barber Anne\".", "id": 19261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "De janitor's blind as can be;\nCleaned de deli much too clean for me.\nWhen he sweepin' up, geez,\nHe t'rew out all de cheese.\nWhat he t'ought was de trash was de Brie.", "id": 19262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "JFK, in a speech ('twas a winner),\nSaid proudly, \"Ich bin ein Berliner.\"\nHow perfectly droll:\nJack's a sweet jelly roll.\nMmm, I hope that he's coming to dinner.", "id": 19263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At a wedding, we heard the bride growl,\n\"Say 'I do' or I'll throw in the towel.\"\nSaid the groom, \"We're not through.\nVanna White's in a pew,\nAnd I'm sure that she'll buy me avowal.\"", "id": 19264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Greece, with a sense of elation,\nI found a new house decoration.\nBut that two-handled jug,\nWhere it's sitting now, ugh!\nSo I amphora change in location.", "id": 19265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Anxious poets are angst-ridden, grim,\nWhen their chances for rhyming are slim.\nOn the tip of the tongue\nThere's a verse almost sprung \u2014\nSo much pain from a damned phantom lim.", "id": 19266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My friend was laid up, stuck in bed.\nSo I went to his room, and I said,\n\"What's the matter with you?\"\nHe said, mumbling, \"Flu!\"\nMusta crashed \u2014 it's sheer luck he's not dead.", "id": 19267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A security leak quickly reaches\nThe chief of detectives, who screeches,\n\"Get cracking, my corps.\nGet advice \u2014 find a whore.\nGet an expert in zipping up breaches.\"", "id": 19268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Hey, what's with the bears and their selling?\nThe guys in the pits are all yelling.\nThe drop's been severe,\nWith the bears smelling fear,\nAnd the reasons to fear are compelling.", "id": 19269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At the lingerie shop, she complains,\n\"This brassiere lifts so high that it pains!\nAnd I haven't a clue\nAs to what I should do,\nThough I'm sitting here racking my brains.\"", "id": 19270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My wife's liquid eyes are the clues\nThat should warn me of coming bad news.\nHer postpartum depression\nPervades her expression \u2014\nBaby blues that portray baby blues.", "id": 19271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When my business of beekeeping thrives,\nThen the bees savor state-of-bliss lives.\nI will deal with a drone\nWho's a rogue on his own;\nGood beatitude comforts the hives.", "id": 19272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "topaz135", "limerick": "To write poems, I gladly confess,\nIs a task with which I acquiesce.\nIf you find you agree,\nTip the wink here to me;\nAccede quickly, in case I digress.", "id": 19273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "They burned down my house. It is ash.\nThey made the wind scatter my trash.\nThese African witches\nHave poisoned my ditches.\nAbatagati are nasty and brash.", "id": 19274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "There once was a lady of France,\nAnd she ate Bethmale cheese quite by chance.\nWith its great mellow flavor\nAnd aroma to savor,\nThe joy of it caused her to dance.", "id": 19275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Christmas night and the wicks had been tapered\u2014\nThe puppies got loose and they capered.\nAll frolicking free,\nThey demolished the tree.\nAnd the presents? They all were un-papered.", "id": 19276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "To beat means \"to strike\" or \"to pound\",\nOr \"to flap\", so you rise from the ground,\nAs in beating your wings.\nIt can also mean things\nLike \"pulsate\" or \"defeat\" or \"confound\".", "id": 19277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Hear my shutter go click: the hawk springs\nAnd goes soaring on broad rounded wings.\nYes, I'm watching the buteos\nWhile eating my fruity-o's:\nFor a birder, the breakfast of kings.", "id": 19278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Of all the Lord's works, not the least\nIs the camel, a marvelous beast.\nHe's no beauty, it's true\u2014\nHe has humps (one or two).\nI think God may have used too much yeast.", "id": 19279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Here's a limerick I hope you will test\u2014\nTake a voiceprint as each word is stressed.\nThe result of this study\nAin't poetry, buddy.\nBiometrical? Surely you jest.", "id": 19280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Was he showing his strong moral fiber\nBy taking the bribe from the briber?\nHe wrote on the bill,\nWhich he placed on the Hill,\nThe words \"Congressman Smith\" then \"(Transcriber).\"", "id": 19281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A criminal blue jay at large\nGot wise with the bird police sarge.\n\"I'd much sooner wing it\nThan  long-term Sing Sing it\nOn some fanciful jaywalking charge!\"", "id": 19282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Berkeleian says to believe\nWhat is real are the things you perceive.\nWe can now give reality\nVirtual vitality.\nAre modern empirics naive?", "id": 19283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A brigand who buried some treasure\nThought to come dig it up at his leisure.\nNow he sees, with a frown,\nThat the trees have blown down\nNear the X he expected to measure.", "id": 19284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A donkey is teaching our class\nEvery day how to bray like an ass.\nHe's astuter, they're saying,\nThan most tutors of braying.\nWith shrewdness, we're hoping to pass.", "id": 19285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Annabella, the belle of the ball,\nGetting careless, let burgundy fall\nDown the front of her dress,\nWhich created a mess\nAnd accounts for her squeal and her squall.", "id": 19286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "They couldn't get rid of the stink of\nWhat that barkeep was mixing a drink of.\n\"Greatest method, by far,\nWhen I'm closing the bar;\nHas the nastiest smell I could think of.\"", "id": 19287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles and John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "I see disparate despots, all potted,\nAnd desperate not to get spotted,\nAt the depot nearby\nBuying bottles of rye\nFor those despots who opt to get sotted.", "id": 19288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The thief had imagined his theft,\nGrabbing silver and gold, right and left,\nBut his outcome was grievous,\nAs the thief's ambilaevous,\nWith neither hand terribly deft.", "id": 19289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a tale metaphorically hoary,\nAll bewhiskered, and well past its glory.\nIt's a parable able\nTo conjure a fable,\nSome old allegorical story.", "id": 19290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ewe remember to duck, won't you now,\nWhen the chick with the ass has a cow?\nSo she grouses, of course,\nAnd she crabs 'til she's horse:\nIt's a bear to console her, somehow.", "id": 19291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since the candidate's gone down aflame\n(Though his party was partly to blame),\nHe has rudely been banished\n(Or has prudently vanished)\nTo a province too woeful to name.", "id": 19292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're furtively stealing a glance\nAt that dancer whose dancing enchants,\nGiving nary a thought\nTo the girl that you'd brought,\nWho's just sitting there, looking askance.", "id": 19293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There's a wind blowing; just avoid scandals.\nWatch the weathermen out wearing sandals.\nModern angst, then we're dead.\nAs Bob Zimmerman said:\nAll the vandals have taken the handles.", "id": 19294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whensoever my hands start to shake,\nMy prescription is daunting to take.\nThough I don't have a kid,\nThere's a babyproof lid.\nCould it be someone's made a mistake?", "id": 19295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This wine-tasting party's too tame\nFor the godhead of oenophile fame,\n'Til it turned orgiastic;\nA feast so fantastic\nDeserved Dionysus's name.", "id": 19296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If your blood lacks the usual ration\nOf albumin, because of mutation,\nYou can clearly survive\u2014\nThere's whole fam'lies alive\nOf analbuminemic persuasion.", "id": 19297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The cafe where the bear took a seat\nHas decreed that the barefoot can't eat:\n\"No shoes, then no service\"\nIs making him nervous,\nAs he's wearing two pair of bear feet.", "id": 19298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The azygous vein is the final\nOne draining the right lumbar spinal\nAnd area near it\u2014\nSounds queer when you hear it\u2014\nIt's azygomediastinal.", "id": 19299, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bad time at bedtime's required\nWhen toddlers behave like they're wired.\nThough we send them to bed,\nThey come downstairs instead,\nAnd insist that they're simply not . . . (yawn!)", "id": 19300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A rat pack of high-rolling slackers\nHad a spat with their bankers and backers,\nWho'd been fronting the dough.\nNow the sponsors said no,\nBaccarat's cost them too many smackers.", "id": 19301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "If stricken by angst, stoic sense shall\nBe dashed by a doubt existential;\nThe trembling and fear\nOf just being cohere\nIn a dread introspection demential.", "id": 19302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A colloquial usage for brought\nIs a word I will use when I've got\nLittle need to be formal.\nFor me, it is normal\nTo use the word brung. I should not.", "id": 19303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "\"The German left flank I'll harass\nWith the troops at Arras I'll amass.\"\nJoffre triggered a race\nAnd the Germans kept pace.\nThe result was a bloody impasse.", "id": 19304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Her cheeks show a roseate flare.\nIn my camera, the light makes a glare.\nThere's a coating of gray\nOn the chocolate? No way!\nIt's a three-kinds-of-bloomin' affair!", "id": 19305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a stagehand (a bit of a souse)\nIn the wings who neglected to douse\nThe cigar he left back\nBy the dynamite shack,\nWhich in no time will bring down the house.", "id": 19306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bread and circuses served to allay\nDiscontent on the Appian Way,\nWhile today we pay bread\n(At a hundred a head!)\nTo get happy at Cirque du Soleil.", "id": 19307, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The river the Swiss call the Aar\nWill meander, but never get far\nFrom the canton of Bern,\nWhose inhabitants learn\nAll its turns as they cross it by car.", "id": 19308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was sassing my dad and my mum\nFor their ban on the chewing of gum.\nNow I'm blowing a bubble,\nInviting more trouble:\nA doubling of smacks on my bum!", "id": 19309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A beachcomber sifts through the sand\nIn the dunes with a rake in his hand.\nHe's collecting the shells\nAnd the driftwood he sells\nBy the rules of supply and demand.", "id": 19310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A butterball, big and blas\u00e9,\nBuys a Butterball turkey each day.\nThen he cooks it in batter\nAnd loads up his platter.\nHis butt's getting fatter this way.", "id": 19311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a cult keeping sisters interned\nAt an abbey in Stowe, we have learned.\nOur deprogrammers sent\nTo Vermont are intent:\nThey'll be leaving no Stowe nun unturned.", "id": 19312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's Gabriel up in the sky\nNext to Michael\u2014both serve Adonai.\nIn the Hebrew tradition,\nThese archangels' mission\nIs working for God up on high.", "id": 19313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There must be in England a nicer Roy\nThan Alderman Roy, who's the viceroy.\nHe's serving the king\nOn a guillotine fling.\nThere's no joy in a toy like that slicer\u2014oy!", "id": 19314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In French, bois de vache is a phrase\nFor our buffalos' meadow displays.\nIt means \"wood of the cow,\"\nLike the patties that now\nAre adorning the field where they graze.", "id": 19315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Dad's sisters are nitro savants\u2014\nOf knowledge of bombs, they are fonts.\nMore amazing, these sisses\nHelp mohels do brises:\nMy dynamite, cutting brisance!", "id": 19316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My boxer shorts sadly have been\nTreated bunchily now and again,\nAnd with every new wedgie,\nYou'll find me more edgy,\nAs fabric gets jammed up within.", "id": 19317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Biltmore stick's neat as can be.\nIt's a way that I measure a tree\nAnd determine how thick\nAre the ones that they'll pick\nTo be felled (once the cutters agree).", "id": 19318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and rbalexx", "limerick": "When he studies these cells, he's aghast\nAt the number my blood has amassed.\nMy physician is sad:\n\"Your leukemia's bad.\"\n(Gotta say having blasts ain't a blast.)", "id": 19319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Boston, the Red Sox are kings\nNow that players have champions' rings.\nAfter eighty-six years\nOf their losing and tears,\nThey've a win and the glory it brings.", "id": 19320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Was the jerk who tried knocking the pope off\nLeo Brezhnev or Yuri Andropov?\nThe assassin, a Turk,\nMade a mess of the work,\nThereby pissing some Soviet dope off.", "id": 19321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Vice President Cheney has come\nUnder fire after blasting a chum\nOn a hunt down in Texas.\nThe shooting perplexes\u2014\nBut worse, staying mum appeared dumb.", "id": 19322, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The transmission of sound through the air\nVia radio waves here and there\nIs a broadcast\u2014one sent\nWith the aim and intent\nTo inform, entertain, or prepare.", "id": 19323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Marijuana's a drug I eschew;\nI don't smoke it (and neither should you).\nI'm not putting on airs\nWhen I tell you that there's\nNot a ghost of a chance I'd use boo.", "id": 19324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Kentucky fried chicken is great\nBy the bucketful (servings for eight).\nHere's a tub filled with meat\u2014\nOh how greasy a treat\u2014\nAnd a heart attack right on my plate.", "id": 19325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Ipanema\": This music cassette's\nFrom the '60s\u2014the days of nymphettes\nOn the beach and the sweet\nBossa nova, whose beat\nBy Gilberto was good as it Getz!", "id": 19326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After building his body, a Greek\nHad a brawny and knotty physique.\nSince he took up Pilates\nAnd hooked up with hotties,\nHe's looking more limber and sleek.", "id": 19328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All the hot dogs and drinks are arrayed\nAt the ballpark as baseball is played.\nThe concessions draw fans\nFrom their seats in the stands\nTo the place where the big bucks are made.", "id": 19329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This Vatican bull's a decree\nThat instructs every Catholic like me\nWho is using the Pill\nThat we're thwarting God's will:\nWe must multiply\u2014A.S.A.P.!", "id": 19330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The buckskins they wore in the West\nWere the breeches that went with the vest\nOn frontiersman like Boone,\nWho killed deer and raccoon,\nAte the meat, and made clothes from the rest.", "id": 19331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A blasting cap's filled with a charge,\nAn explosive that's not very large.\n\"You can use a delay\nAnd get safely away,\"\nSaid my sarge, \"Now go blow up that barge.\"", "id": 19332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Of limericks, I've penned a Nantucketful,\nA tubful of verses\u2014a bucketful.\nBut I've also a pail\nOf old records for sale:\nLovely Union Gap ballads\u2014a Puckettful.", "id": 19333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abrogators abolish, annul,\nAnd invalidate laws as they cull\nAll the statutes amassed\nOver centuries past\nThat are driving them out of their skull.", "id": 19334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My ulna, a subject, the core,\nOr a die that I toss on the floor;\nAn ivory bar\nThat makes rhythm the star;\nAnd a color: All bones I adore!", "id": 19335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When my buddleias blossom in May,\nThey are butterfly magnets by day.\nAll the monarchs in sight\nFlutter by and alight\nFor a nectar-in-lilac buffet.", "id": 19336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The best and the coolest of jocks\nGet their pix on a cereal box.\nAmerica's sweeties\nAre eating their Wheaties:\nThe Breakfast of Champions rocks!", "id": 19337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Battle Mountain's a town in Nevada\u2014\n\"America's Armpit.\" I hadduh\nBe stupid to go\nThere and see if B.O.\nIs what's making the people there sadduh.", "id": 19339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The times of the day for my reverie\nAre canonical hours, where every\nHymn that I read\nFuels a passion and need\nFor the Lord through my psalm book, a breviary.", "id": 19340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's material builders might pick,\nA magnanimous fellow or chick,\nA rectangular mass,\nOr a gaffe by an ass:\nThese are four of the meanings of brick.", "id": 19341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An American black, on occasion,\nWill happen to mate with an Asian.\nIf they choose to be wed\nOr just hop into bed\nAnd make children, the kids will be Blasian.", "id": 19342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For vacation each year I receive\nJust one day, and it's starting to peeve.\nAnd it comes without pay!\nStill I grovel and say\nTo my boss, \"By your leave, may I leave?\"", "id": 19343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the Cape is a town where they're sworn\nTo carousal from midnight to morn.\nTrendy Truro's sedate,\nChatham's peaceful and straight,\nSo for action, it's wild to be Bourne.", "id": 19344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This African dish features meat\nThat's been minced so it's easy to eat.\nIt has eggs in a custard\nAnd curry (not mustard).\nBobotie's a popular treat.", "id": 19345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Amelia nixes perfumers\nAnd ladylike dress\u2014hence the rumors.\nShe shows up in pants\nAt the temperance dance.\nLater on she'll be doffing her bloomers.", "id": 19346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When my mom wants to polish the floor\nOf the kitchen, a place by the door\nServes to separate me\nFrom my sister, 'cause we\nNeed a buffer zone, being at war.", "id": 19348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Being boss is a heady affair,\nAnd the word to describe it is rare:\nWith a threesome of S's,\nThis bossship impresses\u2014\nFew others in English compare.", "id": 19349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The delectable donuts with jelly\nAnd blintzes they sell at the deli\nKeep hitting the spot,\nBut unpadded it's not.\nThey have added a pot to my belly.", "id": 19350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our main street is busy and wide\u2014\nLots of people and stores on each side;\nBut this backstreet's serene,\nVery clean and pristine,\nLike a scene in which everyone's died.", "id": 19351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A constructional unit affects\nDemolition in certain respects.\nBy removing a few\nOf the building blocks, you\nCan direct how an edifice wrecks.", "id": 19352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Beblubbered's a term that applies\nTo those lachrymose faces and eyes.\nWith a foursome of B's,\nIt's a word, if you please,\nSo B-loved we've awarded a prize.", "id": 19353, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Sierra Nevadas, though cold,\nHeld a township with treasures untold.\nForty-niners who came\nInto Auburn laid claim\nTo both shelter and nuggets of gold.", "id": 19354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My thinking's the basis and heart\nOf the groundwork I've laid from the start.\nI exist, ma ch\u00e9rie;\nOui, je pense, donc je suis.\n(So asserted the famous Descartes.)", "id": 19355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biogeocoenoses are places\nWhere creatures relate to the spaces\nThey live in, enjoy,\nAnd might even employ\nIn a few ecological cases.", "id": 19356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To his sleigh through the snowbank, see Santa lope;\nHe's replacing the reindeer with antelope,\nWhich consist of a gnu,\nAn impala or two,\nAnd a kudu who's chewing a cantaloupe.", "id": 19357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This chamber has climate control,\nAnd the creature inside is a mole.\nThough its biotron life\nIs devoid of all strife,\nThe aloneness is taking a toll.", "id": 19358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Switzerland bank says I'll earn\nAll the interest with little concern\nThat the Feds can acquire\nThe date of my wire,\nSo soon I'll have money to Bern.", "id": 19359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Un, deux, trois,. . .\" said Anthelme, as he placed\nA few c\u00e8pes in his signature paste\nFor the king's coq au vin.\nTo Brillat-Savarin,\nThere was surely a counting for taste.", "id": 19360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My cardiac rhythm's been read;\nAnd it's slow, like an athlete's, they said.\nBradycardia's nifty\u2014\nMy heart rate is 50.\n(Any lower, you're practically dead.)", "id": 19361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As I'm writing in Bokm\u00e5l, I strain\nWith a language whose form is arcane,\nSeeming far from a core way\nWe speak here in Norway\nAnd more what you'd say to a Dane.", "id": 19362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The horses of Thoroughbred breeding\n(The colts and the fillies there feeding)\nAre known as the bloodstock\n(My best, not my dud stock)\nAnd soon will be racehorses speeding.", "id": 19363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For the hill-dwelling Welshmen of Blorenge,\nOne playwright is certain to score: Inge.\nTo William's acclaim\nIs now added some fame\u2014\nFrom this limerick, for rhyming with orange.", "id": 19364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A basketball player who's quick\nSees his teammate is setting a pick.\nSo he squares up and shoots\n(His three-pointers are beauts),\nBut surprisingly throws up a brick.", "id": 19365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bunchberry creeps near a wall;\nIt's an herb, only three inches tall.\nThis perennial plant\nIs a dogwood that can't\nStand erect, so it chooses to crawl.", "id": 19366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a burdensome job, not a perk\u2014\nVery hard, but I simply won't shirk.\nI've been given a task,\nAnd I'll do it\u2014I'll bask\nAs I test if this sunscreen will work.", "id": 19367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I purchased a beat-up Accord.\nNo returns! Was I out of my gourd?\nWith no buyback allowed,\nIt's now back by the crowd\nOf jalopies and junkers I hoard.", "id": 19368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A dapper accountant, it's bruited,\nLeft dozens of pension funds looted.\nHe's hauled into court\nAnd decides to report\nIn sartorial splendor\u2014besuited.", "id": 19369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Young Borg was a dutiful child.\nPlaying tennis, he never got riled:\nAs a man on the court,\nVery gentle\u2014a sport.\nHe was Swedish and Bjorn to be mild.", "id": 19370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's demeanor you note at a glimpse\nIn the gangstas, the homies, the pimps.\nIt's badass-itude, dude,\nAnd it's meant to exclude\nAll us weaklings and wussies and wimps.", "id": 19371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Both J-Lo and A-Rod are known\nBy those hip appellations alone.\nIf a Holeburg named Al\nWere a jerk, might a gal\nCall him A-Hole and cast the first stone?", "id": 19372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Black Nationalists challenge the Man:\n\"Yes, we've had it with you and your Klan.\nWe're asserting our rights\nTo be free of you whites\nAnd don't care if the sheet hits the fan.\"", "id": 19373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cells, say my doctor, are blastic,\nImperfectly formed and dysplastic.\nLeukemia looms\n(As do hospital rooms).\nLet's just say that this news ain't fantastic.", "id": 19374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Says Yahweh's top scribe, \"Don't be shy.\nMake that line on revenge really fly!\nSince 'a tooth for a tooth'\nDoesn't tell the whole truth,\nAdd 'an eye for an eye,' Adonai.\"", "id": 19375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The beer master's final hurrah\nWas induced by a fatal faux pas.\nSweeter hops in his brew\nCaused a stink and a stew.\nHe got canned in a grand brouhaha.", "id": 19376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The telly and horses are set,\nAs I light up a charcoal briquette.\nThere's shrimp on the barbie;\nI'm watching the derby;\nMuch better my life couldn't get.", "id": 19377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An arborist labored all night,\nAs he sprayed every leaf-eating mite.\nHe wore spikes (twenty-three),\nSo he tore up the tree,\nAnd its bark is now worse than its blight.", "id": 19378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For my colleagues, a brown bagger's fun\nAnd a time for more work to get done.\nWe're a hard-driving bunch\nWho will labor at lunch.\n(That's the boss there who's holding the gun.)", "id": 19379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What a slippery trip it can be\nWhen butterfish swims in the sea.\nWith his coating of mucus,\nHe slides through the fucus.\n(This food fish just isn't for me.)", "id": 19380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A beekeeper heads for the fair,\nWhere they're selling apparel that's rare.\nThere he purchases jeans\nFor diminutive queens\u2014\nA transaction that's \"buyer bee-wear.\"", "id": 19381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a young 'un, I wore BVDs;\nBut for men, tighty whities can squeeze.\nSince going commando,\nMy privates feel grand\u2014oh\nSo free now to move as they please.", "id": 19382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm building on work in the past\nTo assemble an excellent cast.\nThe foundation is set:\nI've a blonde, a brunette,\nAnd a redhead. My casting couch? Vast.", "id": 19383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Baqqara tribe in Sudan\nRaise their cattle as best as they can.\nThe consecutive Q's\nIn their name should enthuse\nEvery lexical trivia fan.", "id": 19384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To a girl who is sad and annoyed\nBy her gender, notes therapist Freud,\n\"To experience freeness,\nYou must have a penis.\nI'll see that you're surgically buoyed.\"", "id": 19385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bulk is the volume or mass\nOf a body or thing; and alas,\nIt implies lots of weight\nOr dimensions so great\nThat it speaks to the state of my ass.", "id": 19386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As my botany handbook reports,\nThere are bush clover shrubs of all sorts:\nSlender, round-headed, hairy,\nVirginia, and prairie.\nThese plants are leguminous sports.", "id": 19387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bull thistle's prickly and wild,\nAnnoying to all but a child,\nWho'll gaze at its flowers\n(They're purple) for hours\nIn wonderment\u2014thistle-beguiled.", "id": 19388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the missives, the Pope fastens two\nOf his seals; then he's asked by the new\nInternuncio, \"What\nAre those signets you've got?\"\nAnswers Benedict, \"Bullae for you!\"", "id": 19389, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "American Standard's a name\nThat in plumbing has garnered acclaim.\nIt's the brand you might see\nAs you pee, and like me,\nGet a little too free with your aim.", "id": 19390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Radiation, unseen by the eye,\nNow erupts from a point in the sky.\nOur astronomers study\nThis burster, and buddy,\nThey're bursting with data to ply.", "id": 19391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We're breaking new ground on the knoll\nAnd beginning construction whose goal\nIs for neighbors to see\nHow elite we can be\u2014\nNow our outhouse has more than one hole!", "id": 19392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the top of my Admiral range\nAre the burners, which act rather strange\nWhen their elements crack.\nThere is one at the back\nI'll replace at the local exchange.", "id": 19393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A beach bunny gazed from the sand\nAt her guy on his board, in command.\nHe was riding the surf;\nShe was guarding her turf\u2014\nSitting pretty while bored on the land.", "id": 19395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A best-efforts basis may please\nThe investor: the banker agrees\nThat he'll manage the sale\nOf a stock, though he'll fail\nTo provide any firm guarantees.", "id": 19397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A boneheaded batter named Ed\nJust got killed getting drilled in the head.\nNow I mean no offense,\nBut ol' Ed was so dense,\nIn a sense, he was already dead.", "id": 19399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a tree that's been felled has a splint\nSticking up from the stump that might hint\nOf a place someone sits,\nThe expression that fits\nIs a barber chair. Haircut and tint!", "id": 19400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By acting so brainsickly, Grange\nHas exposed his disorder (it's strange).\nIn a crazy display,\nHe sings \"cantaloupe play\"\nWith the deer on a \"home on derange.\"", "id": 19401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bricks and mortar are used when we build.\nThey're materials wrought by the skilled\nInto houses and halls\nWith those ivy-clad walls\nThat reflect what the architect's willed.", "id": 19402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An algebra teacher named Hector,\nA linear combo collector,\nIs saving a basis\nIn case he erases\nHis space and misplaces a vector.", "id": 19404, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Counteracting the numbing effects\nOf barbiturates isn't complex.\nTake a bemegride dose\nAnd you'll say adios\nTo the torpor in all its respects.", "id": 19405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bowl that I use when I lave\nIs a vessel that's round and concave.\nAfter washing my face,\nI've no need to replace\nAny water in order to shave.", "id": 19406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For their kegger, a college adviser\nProvides a new  breath analyzer.\nA party they gave\nSent a kid to his grave,\nSo they're sipping now, sadder, Budweiser.", "id": 19407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Argenta's a place down the road\nFrom America's Armpit\u2014a node\nOr a sweat-making gland?\nNo, an exit and land\nWith, it seems, not a single abode.", "id": 19408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The blue jeans were flared in the day\nWhen the colorful hippies held sway.\nThose '60s espousers\nOf bell-bottom trousers\nAre now in their sixties and gray.", "id": 19409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "This caffeine makes me happy and perky \u2014\nThere's no way that I'm going cold turkey!\nI'm enslaved, I'm aware,\nBut I really don't care,\nFor my motto's \"No coffee, no workee!\"", "id": 19410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The body's the trunk of a tree;\nAnd it fills my retriever with glee\nWhen his bladder is straining.\nNo longer complaining,\nHe's staining its body with pee.", "id": 19411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Robert's Cherries\" was quick with the clearance\nFor experts (without interference)\nTo study their trees\nAnd the fungal disease\nThat engendered their blackish appearance.", "id": 19412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The president's ill-conceived vow\nThat his capital city, Bissau,\nWould give way to a village\nOccasioned his spillage\nBy Guinea-Bissauans (for now).", "id": 19413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bird-witted birder named Ben\nWent flitting from robin to wren.\nHe paused for one second,\nThen peregrines beckoned\u2014\nAnd off he went flitting again.", "id": 19414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "24s, on the wheels of a car,\nAre the rims, with diameters far\nIn excess of what most of\nMy homies can boast of:\nA symbol of status, they are.", "id": 19415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Allhallowtide season is here,\nWhen the first of November is near.\nWhen it comes (All Saints Day),\nMany Christians will pray.\nAs for me, I'll just drink one less beer.", "id": 19417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the heat of the day, God in Heaven\nHeard a prayer from ascending soul Kevin.\n\"I'm so dry. Do you think\nYou could give me a drink?\"\nThus the Stairway to Seven-Eleven.", "id": 19418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "There once was a princess precocious\nWho'd dine in a manner atrocious.\nAs cute as can be,\nShe'd sit down to high tea\nAnd then bite through the cups. How ferocious!", "id": 19419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Back when he was the Prez, Jimmy Carter\nCalled his brother Bill over to barter.\n\"I'll trade you a beer\nIf you steer clear of here.\"\nBilly jumped at the chance (Jimmy's smarter).", "id": 19420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "When I say to you, \"I'll take the brown,\"\nBrown's an adjective used as a noun.\nThis adnominal term\nMight refer to a worm;\nBut in this case, I mean wedding gown.", "id": 19421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "\"You're afeared of them ghosts, Scoob and Shaggy,\"\nSaid the Southerner. \"Plus, your shirt's baggy.\nWhat should make you afraid\nIs you're not gettin' paid!\"\nAt these words, Scooby's tail ceased its waggy.", "id": 19422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In a regexp, refer to a prior\nExpression you wish to acquire.\nIt's called a backreference,\nAnd this is my preference:\nWrite code with a few and retire.", "id": 19423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Chewbacca's no use for a vest,\nFor he wears bandoliers 'cross his chest.\nWith his sashes of ammo,\nHe doesn't need camo,\nBut his lack of pants\u2014that's unaddressed.", "id": 19424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and sigg", "limerick": "Ah had me a bashment invite\nSo Ah wen' and de food be a'right.\nBut de music be great\nSo Ah pahtied real late\nCuz mah hom'z tuff ta fin' in de night.", "id": 19425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Someone cried, 'Sir, this humbug won't do, Sir!'\nBut the congressman's speech wasn't through, sir:\n'I don't care,' he replied,\n'If your interest has died,\nAs I speak, Sir, for Buncombe, not you, Sir.'", "id": 19426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My birdbath is lead-lined and leak-fast,\nMy bird-table solid and creak-fast.\nPassing birds stop with me\nAt my quaint \"B&B\",\nWhich expands to the phrase \"bread and beak fast\".", "id": 19427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "The color that's found everywhere\nIs black (for it isn't that rare).\nThe ash from a fire\nAnd most formal attire:\nThey all flaunt this color with flair.", "id": 19428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Sex is banned! read the banderol text,\nWhich at first had the people perplexed;\nBut this order\u2014absurd,\nBy a government nerd,\nVery soon had the populace vexed.", "id": 19429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Punning Jane said to Henry, \"Let's ponda.\nYes, absence makes hearts grow much Fonda.\nBut if love grows no stronger\nWhile absence grows longer,\nTry presents.\" (That pun is a shonda.)", "id": 19430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"'Tis nobler to suffer the slings\nOf the sea, from which yon arrow springs...\"\nThe public's deep-sixing\nMy metaphor mixing.\nThey call me \"The Barred\" for such things.", "id": 19431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A chasm, a bottomless hole,\nStirs the depths of my rhyme-tortured soul.\nThough my poem may stink\nAnd perhaps you will think\nIt's abyss-mal \u2014 well, that was my goal.", "id": 19432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The bran flakes are limp as can be,\nAnd the wheat puffs are soggy debris.\nSo I'm wondering, \"Why\n(With a small slice of wry)\nDoes a cereal killer run free?\"", "id": 19433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Like a shot from a high-powered blaster,\nThe armored car driver drove faster.\nSliding into a curve,\nJust avoiding a swerve,\nHe came back from the Brinks of disaster.", "id": 19434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "In the Bible, King David's third son\n(Name of Absalom) ended his run\nBecause Joab ran through him\nWith three spears that slew him;\nThus the battle for Israel was won.", "id": 19435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "There was an old guy with a beard\nWho for years went unkempt and unsheared.\nHis hirsuteness (in dreads)\nNow houses huge beds\nOf all manner of things, wild and weird.", "id": 19436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "As a soup, bisque is best when served hot.\nMade with lobster, it hits the right spot.\nI think it tastes dreamy;\nIt's so rich and creamy.\nIt's the soup you'd be served on a yacht.", "id": 19437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hermez", "limerick": "We won't get caught.  Don't make a fuss.\nOur alibi's perfect, and plus\nWe're surely above\nSuspicion, my love;\nThey'll never suspect it was us!", "id": 19439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "What pests killed my best apple tree?\nWhat critters are angering me?\nIsn't mites make me mad,\nBut moth larvae, so bad\u2014\nJust tail a brown-tail and you'll see!", "id": 19440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Abelian groups, when computing,\nWith operands there's no refuting:\nThe expression bc\nIs the same as cb.\nNot en route to your job, yet commuting.", "id": 19441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I have an abdominal hernia.\nMy bride, please don't think I would spurnia.\nI can't lift 'til I heal\nFrom this laparocele.\nDon't let crossing the threshold concernia.", "id": 19442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See the king of the jungle surmise\nThat his honey's a cheat who tells lies.\nFurther wounding his pride\nIs the fact that his bride\nCannot hide (though she's tried) lyin' eyes.", "id": 19443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "When the holiday season approaches,\nOur kitchen's infested with roaches,\n'Cause where goodies are found\nIs where roaches abound.\nIt's where every encroaching roach poaches.", "id": 19445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A propeller can cause the creation\nOf bubbles, whose manifestation\nAppears to be boiling\nIn water that's roiling.\nThe process is called cavitation.", "id": 19446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The barmaid looks sexy, though slender;\nYou ask yourself: Might she be tender?\nWith bartender's art\nShe keeps brawlers apart,\nIrrespective of faith, age, or gender!", "id": 19447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Now why don't you tarry awhile,\"\nSmirked the boss with a lecherous smile.\n\"I might just have tarried,\"\nShe said, \"but you're married \u2014\nAnd also I think that you're vile.\"", "id": 19448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Austenitic describes a strong steel,\nResistant to stress and ideal\nFor making tough bits\nFor an engine that fits\nIn a quality automobile.", "id": 19449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Ajuga \u2014 the genus of bugle\n(That's a plant, not a horn like a flugel) \u2014\nIt's Eurasian, this mint,\nVery good if you're skint,\nSince this seasoning's really quite frugal.", "id": 19450, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Near Area 51, we\nOnce decided to sneak in and see\nIf it's true that the base\nHid a UFO case.\n(I would tell you, but feds made us flee.)", "id": 19451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "\"I'll only buy brand-name blue jeans,\"\nSniffed a trend-conscious lady in Queens.\n\"They'll impress all my friends\u2014\nProve my worth to great ends\u2014\nWith the ends just defying the means.\"", "id": 19452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If you sailed with the Dutchmen of old,\nThen you knew of their ships swift and bold.\n'Twas the capers that flew\n'Round the cape strong and true\u2014\nIt's the stuff of great legends oft told.", "id": 19453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "There is something attacking my ear\u2014\nIt's so loud that I almost can't hear!\nThough the buzz and the ring\nAre drowned out when I sing,\nTinnitus makes hearing unclear.", "id": 19454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Hallowe'en is approaching! Let's start\nA revolt which will prove we're all heart.\nNo more mom and dad rules \u2014\nWe'll act scary like ghouls,\nSo we may as well dress for the part.", "id": 19455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "An Adelie besieged at the Pole\nCan't protect its own eggs on patrol.\nDamp spring snow, eggs exposed;\nPenguin chicks die enclosed.\nGlobal warming is taking its toll.", "id": 19456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An airbrake's a specialist thing\nThat fits on an aeroplane's wing\nTo slow down the flow\nOf the air there, and so\nIt will touch down with scarcely a ding.", "id": 19457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "For days upon spellbinding days,\nI could fasten my glazed-over gaze\nOn that shifting, enthralling,\nIncessantly calling\nExpanse of the sea, soul ablaze.", "id": 19458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Those snatches and fragments of song\nDrifting in from the street make me long\nFor those sweet afternoons\nWhen the catches of tunes\nThat I heard were more vivid and strong.", "id": 19459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "We've broken the record: surpassed\nEvery previous team. What a blast!\nThough, in truth, it's a shame\nTo attain all this fame\nFor the number of times we've come last.", "id": 19460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "There are things that you do every day\nIn the self-same, unvarying way.\nIf you break them \u2014 that's swap them\nFor others, or stop them \u2014\nThose habits no longer hold sway.", "id": 19461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "When canoodling in a canoe,\nSerenade her without your kazoo.\nA loud kazoo chorus\nIs never canorous \u2014\nShe'll dump you right there in the slough.", "id": 19462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "A rock-n-roll drummer named Beard\nSaid, \"It's rather ironic and weird,\nBut who could have planned\nThat our Little ol' Band\nWould be cheered for its beards... but Beard's sheared?\"", "id": 19463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Advertence is setting your mind\u2014\nYour attention\u2014on something you find\nTo be vital and true,\nSo we couldn't say you\nInadvertently left it behind.", "id": 19464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The rowing club changed in this way:\nIn the off-season, football they'd play,\n'Cause for many a sculler\nThe autumn was duller\u2014\nThe Argonauts, back in the day.", "id": 19465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "My grandpa's arthralgia was flaring.\nThe arthritis-like pain was hair-tearing.\nSo we oiled up his knees\nTo make movement a breeze,\nAnd now his lambada's most daring.", "id": 19466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Write your bio?  I guess I'm persuadable,\nBut it's gonna be non-accoladable.\nAnd with negative spins,\nThe environment wins\n(Your biography's bio-degradable).", "id": 19467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "My new pool is amygdaloidal.\nOf this fact, there could be no avoidal.\nIts almond shape's fine\nFor me and all mine,\n'Cause at least it ain't shaped hemorrhoidal.", "id": 19468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "The brightly-lit lighthouse we see\nLets us know which direction to flee.\n(In case you were wondering,\nWe're pirates a-plundering\u2014\nWe do it 'cause diamonds ain't free.)", "id": 19469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The Cubism school Analytic\nDrew kudos from many a critic.\nPicasso and Braque\nRendered facets like rock\nIn forms angular, square, pyramidic.", "id": 19470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "At Easter this lily will bloom\nTo bring her bright flame to your room.\nAmaryllis she's named,\nFor her color she's famed.\nAs a song, she will banish your gloom.", "id": 19471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "An abzyme's an antibody, true,\nMonoclonal (from one cell, not two),\nCatalytic in form,\nCausing T cells to swarm\nTo the pathogens they should pursue.", "id": 19472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Can Superman's cape make him fly?\nDoes it keep him up there in the sky?\nIs it garb de rigueur,\nSimply there to ensure\nHe's a hero in every boy's eye?", "id": 19473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The truth in a good allegory\nIs symbolically wrapped in the story.\nIt may sound like the scene\nAfter 'gator cuisine \u2014\nA falsehood derived a priori.", "id": 19474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a twist to our story of yore,\nWherein Oliver wants a bit more.\nHis great expectations?\nBologna for rations.\n\"It's the wurst of times!\" Ollie'd implore.", "id": 19475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The guy from AV pulled the shades;\nThere were tests on the flicks for our grades.\nIn the dark some were getting\nUnsafe with their petting \u2014\nThey got audiovisual AIDS.", "id": 19476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Times were tough and their wallets were thin,\nSo some flammable gases (my kin)\nSold their home.  Thought they'd dwell\nIn a low-rent motel.\nLast I heard they're acetylene in.", "id": 19478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We know accuracy's crucial for clarity;\nThe OEDILF will admit no disparity,\nEnforcing precision\nThrough workshop revision.\n(Line five's where we sneak in hilarity.)", "id": 19481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The house wasn't built to his rules,\nSo the architect gathered his tools.\nHe stuck in his thumb\nAnd he pulled out a plumb,\nJust to prove that the builders were fools.", "id": 19482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm a guy with a very short fuse,\nAnd I work at this bar pushing booze.\nThe first guy to arrive\nSaid, \"What's good in this dive?\"\nSo I belted him one and yelled, \"Brews!\"", "id": 19483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I search through the streets \u2014 I'm no quitter;\nYou see only junk \u2014 I see glitter.\nThe alleys yield trash\nThat I turn into cash,\n'Cause I'm first for the pick of the litter.", "id": 19484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Akrotiri, in case you were wonderin',\n'S a peninsula Cypriots ain't plunderin'.\nThe Brits keep things cool\n(By the book's how they rule);\nIt's their airbase, so better not blunder in.", "id": 19485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A jellyfish cutie swam near,\nAnd my tentacle dance meant \"come here!\"\nBut the jelly passed by,\nThough I couldn't tell why\u2014\nMy actinosome language was clear!", "id": 19486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Certain creatures with tropical status\nMay be found round a coral bed lattice.\nNear a shore, you might say,\n\"Did I just see a ray?\"\nWhat you saw was a big Aetobatus!", "id": 19487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "Bur marigolds, often called weeds,\nMake beggar-ticks: barbed, sticky seeds.\nUnlike those of blue phlox,\nThese seeds cling to your socks\u2014\nA torment that nobody needs.", "id": 19488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "At our limericks, readers might bridle\nWith enmity anapesticidal.\nBrilliant puns, it now seems,\nMerely clutter their dreams\nWhile they doze through American Idol.", "id": 19489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "At McNeil River Falls, the brown bear\nLets photographers click without care.\nUrsus arctos by name,\nHe's indifferent, not tame,\nIf they'll only stay out of his hair.", "id": 19490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He was caddish and rascally too;\nSuch a flirt, he was bad through and through;\nBut she loved him in spite\nOf his errors. Her knight\nLied with ease, so she thought he was true.", "id": 19491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the library I was perusing\nAn art book while quietly boozing.\nI kept hitting the juice\nAs I studied Toulouse;\nThen I barfed, and it wasn't amusing.", "id": 19493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a phrase from the Latin that we\nOften shorten to just A.U.C.\nIt's a date that you say\nWhen you want to convey\n\"Count from 7-5-3 B.C.E.\"", "id": 19494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Zarrow and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As Dean Martin once said to Stan Laurel,\n\"Bare your butt and I'll give you no quarrel.\nSince no judgments apply,\nWhen your moon hits my eye\nLike a big pizza pie, that's amoral.\"", "id": 19495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "chakaal", "limerick": "Piccard, he's the guy who created\nA sphere to keep pressure abated.\nIn a bathyscaphe, laugh\nWith the rest of the staff\nWhile your team gets those sea maps updated!", "id": 19496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If the foul smell of mold makes you bawl,\nIn your basement some airbricks install.\nMeant as venting, they're great;\nHated scents soon abate\u2014\nYou'll be grateful for holes in the wall.", "id": 19497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Angustifolias aren't the same,\nThough dozens of plants bear that name.\nIt means \"narrow leafed,\"\nAnd since you've been briefed,\nNow guess which ones make that their claim.", "id": 19498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Agapanthus are lilies of the Nile,\nBut where have they been this long while?\nTheir summery blooms,\nBrought indoors, brighten rooms,\nBut it's winter, so none make me smile.", "id": 19499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Pay a quarter for parking?  Oh, bite me!\"\nSaving money this way does delight me.\nAlong similar lines,\nI detest paying fines\nFor the tickets they constantly write me!", "id": 19500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An Air Medal (if anyone cares)\nIs awarded to our troops, not theirs,\nWhen the President orders\nThey fly across borders\nTo \"medal\" in others' affairs.", "id": 19501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ol' man Custis has answered the call\nThat none can forever forestall.\nHe was shot, the poor schmuck,\nAll dressed up like a duck\nOn his way to a masquerade ball.", "id": 19502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The matador waved his red cape\nAt the bull, and the crowd stood agape.\nWith a twist to the left,\nSe\u00f1or's movements were deft,\nAnd the bull simply slipped through the drape.", "id": 19503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Though Art Carney's no longer alive\n(Since departing at age eighty-five),\nHis death cannot shorten\nThe life of Ed Norton.\nOn cable he'll always survive.", "id": 19504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Bobby's bearish; he told me to sell.\nSaid the market's all goin' to hell.\nSo I took his advice:\nI went short\u2014rolled the dice.\nTo my house I'm now bidding farewell.", "id": 19507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though \"goodbye\" could be cause to rejoice,\nOr a neutral and mutual choice,\nThat's delusion: it's fake.\nYou can tell by the break \u2014\nThe emotional catch \u2014 in his voice.", "id": 19508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "There's a catchy refrain in my brain,\nWorming round \u2014 it will drive me insane.\nThough I liked it to start with,\nI'm desperate to part with\nIt now... here it comes, yet again!", "id": 19509, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I'm afraid it's bad news that I've got.\nI heard that your lawyer's been shot.\nIf you quail at the thought\nAnd you feel overwrought,\nThen just look who's been put on the spot.", "id": 19510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A Byzantinist studies the past\nOf an empire doomed not to last.\nHis quest for the story\nOf Byzantine glory\nBrings tales of great riches amassed.", "id": 19511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "By the door in a Tokyo bar\nStands a man with a Turkish cigar.\nSee, he's not from Japan\u2014he\nIs Azerbaijani.\nHe caught the wrong plane in Dakar.", "id": 19513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Unknown to the veterinarian,\nNo carnivore, no vegetarian,\nThe first eagle you'll meet\nThat's without beak or feet\u2014\nThis heraldic device, the allerion.", "id": 19514, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "They were arsonists both, refused bail,\nFacing time for their crimes, locked in jail,\nWhen their passion's new flame\nTrumped their fire-raising fame\u2014\nNow the love match they've struck will prevail.", "id": 19515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I am quaking and shaking inside.\nBy a jury they've said I'll be tried!\nCan't they put all the facts\nTo the agate and axe\nAnd let axinomancy decide?", "id": 19516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"I'm Superman!\" children will ape,\nAs they rescue Miss Lane from a scrape\nUsing muscles they flex\nAnd a sheet 'round their necks.\n(In our lives, we all need an S cape.)", "id": 19517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"I'm no rat,\" said the girl, \"I won't tell!\"\nNow the debutante's locked in a cell.\nTo pursue their objectives,\nA team of detectives\nInterrogate \u2014 wringing the belle.", "id": 19518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Motorola makes phones (yes, they're cell).\nCan't afford one, though surely they're swell.\nBut the knockoffs seem viable;\nI've a hunch they are buyable.\nQuasi-Moto is ringing my bell.", "id": 19519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Vegetarian substitutes now?\nNot a choice that our bistros allow!\nThat's our pledge. It's no bull \u2014\nYou can eat 'til you're full;\nWith each bite you'll exclaim, \"Wholly cow!\"", "id": 19520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "True bliss comes to women who wait\nAnd are picky when choosing a mate,\nAnd there's joy for the guys\nWho are equally wise\nWhen the prize is a true altared state.", "id": 19521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Claude's football skills, out on display,\nMade a lasting impression today.\nWhen his contract talks start,\nHe's perfecting his art,\nSo it's: \"Show me,\" he says, \"the Monet.\"", "id": 19522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ethiopia hosts a soiree,\nSo an African journey's in play.\nWhen you come, wear a skirt;\nEat a desert dessert.\nAbyssinia soon now, okay?", "id": 19523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "You should know that your mom's never wrong;\nI've been telling you this all along,\nSo when you're all grown up\nAnd no longer a pup,\nYou can sing your own kids the same song.", "id": 19524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There are mammals whose size and whose shape\nInclude gerbil, giraffe and great ape.\nWith a size that's dramatic,\nThe biggest's aquatic.\nThe blue whale makes a man stand agape.", "id": 19525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The weather's been frigid and snowy.\nMy snow blower's shiny and showy.\nSo I'll do all that work\nBut will feel like a jerk\nIf the weather becomes very blowy.", "id": 19526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "To describe a description of grasses,\nIn a word, agrostography passes.\nIt's a total array,\nSay, of pasture, lawn, hay,\nSince it covers the ground in all classes.", "id": 19527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Accipitres: order of those\nBirds with talons that grow on their toes,\nLike a hawk or an owl;\nIn addition to fowl,\nIt's a bandage that goes on your nose.", "id": 19528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Write a limerick\u2014that is creation.\nIf you pilfer one\u2014plagiarization.\nIf one's already there\nOn OEDILF, and you dare,\nClick on \"Workshop\"\u2014produce activation.", "id": 19529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am searching for methods of jacking\nUp life-giving substances packing\nYour red cells; what's more,\nYou need treatment, since you're\nAnoxemic (blood oxygen's lacking).", "id": 19530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Seems an autophyte's not as bizarre\nAs some Fords wearing gloves while they spar:\nIt's a self-feeding plant,\nNot two autos (which can't\nGo to war in a ring, car-on-car).", "id": 19531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Abadie's, if you please, is a sign\nWith a message that's less than divine:\nIf the eyelids should twitch,\nHyperthyroid's the hitch;\nIf the tendons are numb, check the spine.", "id": 19532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Alliterate: set sounds at the start\nThat resound and repeat to impart\nA fine feeling of flow\n(Or some silliness show)\u2014\nIt's intriguing, it is.  Is it art?", "id": 19533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "There's a sound that can fill me with dread:\nIt's a wasp's and goes 'b-u-z-z',\nBut a lesson it's taught\nWhen its buzz I cut short\nWith my swatter \u2014 one swipe and it's dead!", "id": 19534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "When something is different, distinct,\nTo the point where it's not even linked,\nIt's a horse of bright green\nOr a kettle piscine\nOr another-guess (nearly extinct).", "id": 19535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I keep writing these limericks but\nSurely some of them won't make the cut.\nSome are good and some great,\nAnd some cause much debate\nWhen the stress is not thought adequate.", "id": 19536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Each atom absorbs unique light,\nLeaving lines that are black as the night.\nThis absorption occurs\nAt the bits it prefers,\nSo the rest of the spectrum stays bright.", "id": 19537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "A black canon's a multiple pun.\nOn first sight, it's a galleon's gun,\nOr a dark-skinned high priest,\nOr one serving The Beast.\nWhat it ain't is a Carmelite nun.", "id": 19538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I advise that it's best not to cross\nThe shadowy guy called \"The Boss\".\nIn the space of a breath,\nHe could order your death,\nAs he'd view you as nothing but dross.", "id": 19539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Do you hanker to start on the c's?\nHave you got a cool limerick on cheese?\nWell, don't get in a state;\nThere's not too long to wait,\nNow we've broken the back of the b's.", "id": 19540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you're bored with the trouble and strife\nOf bachelorhood, take a wife.\nSo, what should you do\nIf you're left feeling blue\nWhen the cause of your boredom is life?", "id": 19541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "This sickness is terribly grave,\nBut my children know how to behave.\nAs I lie on the ward\nI give thanks to the Lord\nThat my kids seem impossibly brave.", "id": 19542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amphicarpa's a genus of vine.\nFound in Asia, it tends to entwine\nAs it climbs on a wall.\nIf you wish, you may call\nIt hog peanut\u2014the vine likes it fine.", "id": 19543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My mom is a doctor, and please!\nShe gets busy whenever I sneeze.\nIf she thinks it's infection,\nShe gives an injection\nOf medicine\u2014twenty ccs!", "id": 19544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "If acetylene were to infuse\nOther compounds, and happened to lose\nA proton to metal,  I'd\nCall it acetylide:\nNucleophile you can use.", "id": 19545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "One bite of love's apple will say\nThat the fruit of our love's here to stay.\nThough plum lucky, I fear\nThat we cantaloupe, dear,\nBut you'll cherries my ardor each day.", "id": 19546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "If you've met an old friend on the street,\nAnd forgotten his name, be discreet.\nBuying time with some chatter\nMight clear up the matter;\nIf not, make a graceful retreat.", "id": 19548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "With one who's as sharp as a tack,\nGood banter is fun \u2014 verbal flak.\nBut if he who's so smart\nDoesn't have a good heart,\nYou could find yourself stabbed in the back.", "id": 19549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Far above the lake known as Cayuga\nWas an engineer lost in a fugue, a\nPathological spell\n(Not that rare at Cornell),\nYelling, \"Toot! I'm a choo-choo, AROOOOGA!\"", "id": 19551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "In the '70s, grave admonitions\nRegarding those toxic emissions\nMade the EPA say\nEvery car must display\nCatalytic converter additions.", "id": 19552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A remorseful OEDILFer, Bob D.,\nSaid, \"A badgerer?  Once that was me.\"\nAnother decides\nHis confession's besides\nThe whole point.  (That'd be me: badgeree.)", "id": 19553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The works of great art are quite able\n(Though often it may seem like Babel)\nTo speak through the ages\nAnd provide us good gauges\nOf beauty, whatever the label.", "id": 19554, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Hoyt Axton wrote music for years\nFor himself and a legion of peers.\nIn Gremlins, he's Dad,\nAnd I'll tell you, I'm glad\nHe's still Joy to the World and my ears.", "id": 19555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "A church abatvoix is a board\nWhose acoustic effect we applaud.\nIt gives amplification\nOf Reverend's oration:\nWe hear him \u2014 and so can the Lord.", "id": 19556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "\"You're air-minded,\" friends often said.\nThis referred to the info I fed\nThem of comings and goings\nOf Cessnas and Boeings\u2014\nOr was it the space in my head?", "id": 19557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "When a mythical murderous Greek\nHid his crime, it was pointless to seek\nAn apology. He\nTaught astrology. We\nCall him Actis, the cheeky old geek.", "id": 19558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When a bearing is bearing a weight,\nThen its bearing may not be quite straight.\nIn straits dire we're daring,\n'Cause I think that we're bearing\nStraightaway towards the great Bering Strait.", "id": 19559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "When acousto- and optics combine,\nLight and sound in a crystal entwine\nPhase and frequency range\nPlus direction will change,\nAnd the amplitude also align.", "id": 19560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"We will battle with terror,\" they say,\n\"And free the oppressed, by the way.\"\nDid we fight a just war?\nI suspect it was more\nAbout oil at the end of the day.", "id": 19561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "'Twas a breach of good manners to broach\nThe inheritance; that would encroach\nOn the process of mourning;\nShe was given fair warning,\nBut her greed overrode all reproach.", "id": 19562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "\"B Flat or C Sharp, that was which?\"\nI knew not, though I'd absolute pitch.\nShe had sung but one note,\nNow she said with a gloat,\n\"That's an absolute pitch with a glitch!\"", "id": 19564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "As a morpheme, the letters \"-E-D\"\nHave a difference you'll hear but won't see.\nHunted, fixed, and esteemed\nAre linguistically deemed\nAllomorphic, in past tense, all three!", "id": 19565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Since a case contains twenty-four beers,\nRunning low was not one of my fears.\nBut a buddy came by...\nNow my cooler is dry!\nTime to head to the store, it appears.", "id": 19566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "In physics, his work's at the core,\nBut, please, I can't take any more!\nThis Dane might be smart,\nBut I only read part,\n'Cause I think he is simply a Bohr.", "id": 19567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I've an uncle who takes evening ambles\nWith his dog, who's addicted to gambols.\nRover sniffed out a hare,\nChased it down to its lair;\nUncle Pete's stuck with thorns from the brambles.", "id": 19568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Ablactation, to wean off the breast,\nShould wait 'til age 2; this is best.\nThough some men never quit\n(Bet you thought I'd rhyme tit)\nBecause they're mammarially obsessed.", "id": 19569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Her new love's like a runaway cart;\nIn a week it's \"'Til death do us part.\"\nThough her actions are rash,\nAnd there might be a crash,\nThere's no way that she's braking her heart.", "id": 19570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Let's dispense with biology's chains!\nI'll build people from parts,\" he explains.\n\"With some thought you will find\nI've your future in mind \u2014\n'Cause today I'll be picking your brains.\"", "id": 19571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You got Alzheimer's, making me cry;\nThough you're gone, still your body won't die.\nDo you recognize me?\nI'm your son \u2014 can't you see?\nThere's no sadder, or longer, goodbye.", "id": 19572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Manhattanites shiver and cower\nAt midnight \u2014 it's Dracula's hour!\nHe's drinking in blood\n(Betta deal wit' dat, bud!)\nAt the Vampire State Building tower.", "id": 19573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We cried \"Nerd!\", and he thought us absurd.\nWe yelled \"Birdbrain!\" and scarcely he stirred.\nThen we tried \"Red Delicious!\" \u2014\nHe quickly turned vicious!\nIt's the worst appellation he's heard.", "id": 19574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There were jewels in the store, so we took 'em.\nThere were fakes here and there; we forsook 'em.\nJust our luck that the fence\nWas a lawman's pretense;\nCouldn't book 'fore the copper said, \"Book 'em!\"", "id": 19575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "\"Ca' canny,\" said Da, so I slowed\nTo avoid the dead cow in the road.\n\"Ca' canny,\" at work\nFrom the steward meant, \"Shirk\nJust a bit. Take two-thirds of a load.\"", "id": 19576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's the outcome that filled me with dread:\nNow my prototype monster is dead.\nAcephaly killed him.\nI aim to rebuild him;\nAlready, I'm planning ahead.", "id": 19577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Though my African garment is flowing,\nThe seams are all wrong and they're showing.\n\"This can't be correct!\"\n\"Well, so what'dya expect?\nA real boubou is what I've been sewing.\"", "id": 19578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Belladonna's a poison one buys;\nDeadly nightshade makes sure someone dies.\nIts medicinal duty\nHelped a Napoli beauty:\nBella Donna, who kills with her eyes.", "id": 19579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Bromination's a halogen coup\nThat molecular forces pursue.\nBurly bromine, with clout,\nShoves a hydrogen out,\nBidding vagabond freedom adieu.", "id": 19580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "King Kong's former wife, seeking sex,\nHad it off with a married T-rex,\nWho told her, \"From my angle,\nI'm in a triangle.\nYou are, of course, the ape-ex.\"", "id": 19581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Take some Brussels sprouts \u2014 cabbage-like heads;\nWith a mandoline, tear them to threads.\nCook with filberts and butter\nAnd vinegar. Mutter,\n\"Tastes great, but my finger's in shreds.\"", "id": 19582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The jewelry case held a ruby\nThat the thief tried to steal\u2014what a newbie!\nHe should know there's no scheme\nThat our \"meddlesome\" team\nCannot thwart (with some help from our Scooby)!", "id": 19583, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Said the Edmonton Oilers' Chris Pronger,\n\"I won't be short-changed any longer!\"\nTo his miserly boss,\nHe cried out, \"Applesauce!\"\n(Too polite to use anything stronger).", "id": 19584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A frequently made diagnosis\nIn your arteries: atherosclerosis\nFirst attacks in your heart\u2014\nRarely elsewhere will start.\nFatty acids there cause apoptosis.", "id": 19585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Try to walk at an elegant pace,\nPutting all thirteen feet in their place.\nIt's not easy, my dear,\nJust by following Lear,\nTo get limericks ready to race.", "id": 19586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Kurf\u00fcrst Friedrich V, in his strife\nFor a Kingdom, saw chances were rife.\nAs archdapifer first,\nThen archbutler ('gainst thirst?),\nHe could serve Lizzy Stuart, his wife.", "id": 19587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An average may simply be seen\nTo be, arithmetic, a mean:\nSplit the sum by the number\nOf terms that encumber\nOur brains with a wide field to glean.", "id": 19588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "To the greenback they're pegged, these BZ-\n$s used to buy butter and bread.\nIn a country that's been\nRuled by Great Britain's Queen,\nDollar notes will display a crowned head!", "id": 19590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "September: the foliage blushes \u2014\nIs tinted with fiery flushes.\nThe sunshine is patchy;\nThe breezes are catchy:\nThey swirl in their snatches and rushes.", "id": 19593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Their hostility's calm: they don't shriek,\nBut neither one wants to seem weak,\nAnd so neither will dare \u2014\nThough the other's right there \u2014\nBreak that scathing, sharp silence and speak.", "id": 19594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Barbados\u2014Caribbean isle!\nA place to vacation in style.\nIt's also a nation\n(For your information),\nAnd'll probably be for a while.", "id": 19595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "If you're honest when push comes to shove,\nAnd your conduct is guided by love,\nThen your conscience is clear;\nYou have nothing to fear,\nAs reproach is the thing you're above.", "id": 19596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "On Mondays, I eat some Chinese.\nOn Tuesdays, I try Japanese.\nOn Wednesdays, Korean\nAnd then European.\nCome Friday, I'm cooking Louise.", "id": 19597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "\"Your bloody Burmese has just crapped\nOn my shoe!\" screamed Darlene, as she snapped.\nShe then slapped, and she tore\nAt Sue's hair, and they swore\nBloody murder.  A catfight?  How apt.", "id": 19598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Laid bare on a funicle squarely,\nAn ovule was fertilised fairly.\nIts amphitropous stance\nGave a process a chance\nWhich will fail to yield seeds all too rarely.", "id": 19599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "It's the amount that I eat, I suppose,\nAnd the fact that I live in repose.\nNow my adipose tissue\nHas become a big issue,\nI'll have to go buy some more clothes.", "id": 19600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The monarch, by royal decree,\nFills her minions with maximal glee\nWith this birthday backhander\nOf Empire's Commander\n(That's British), i.e. C.B.E.", "id": 19601, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Russian rockets said CCCP,\nWhich was slightly confusing to me.\nIf the C was both two\nOf those S's and U,\nThen should Kruschev have two C's or three?", "id": 19602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Made of riveted canvas or denim,\nTough as nails and resistant to venom,\nThese blue jeans are slacks\nIn which wranglers relax.\nSome embroider 'em; some ballpoint pen 'em.", "id": 19603, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I love a debate, won't deny it;\nStrict harmony's not in my diet.\nBut I won't bear a rant or\nTirade; let's just banter.\nPlayful words are less apt to disquiet.", "id": 19604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Last evening I went to the fair,\nAnd I rode on a carousel there:\nRound and round, up and down\nOn a horse that was brown,\nAs calliope songs filled the air.", "id": 19605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It was perfect\u2014a picnic quite late,\nWith a rowboat, some flowers, my date,\nOn an isle in a stream\n(A romanticist's dream);\nSo we ate on an ait after eight.", "id": 19606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "c_tennety", "limerick": "My wife heard me mention an ore:\n\"'Biotitic,' you called her!\" she swore.\nHer virulent burst\u2014\nAnd this isn't her first\u2014\nUpon mica, I strongly deplore.", "id": 19607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "laurajhawk", "limerick": "Accipiter: hawk with red eyes\nWho darts through the forest: Surprise!\nBad luck for a mouse,\nOr a finch, or a grouse,\nWhen the hawk flies away with his prize.", "id": 19608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "At the ball Arthur's queen begged her pet,\n\"Won't you grant me a gay minuet?\nMy lissome Sir Lancelot,\nCome, let us dance a lot!\nA little knight music, quartet!\"", "id": 19609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "It's my feet that are causing my blues:\nI've got blisters just starting to ooze.\nEvery step makes me flinch\nAs my toes feel the pinch;\nI can't wait to break in these new shoes.", "id": 19610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though you injured the nerve in the past,\nAll the burning and pain seem to last.\nWe call it causalgia,\nA type of neuralgia.\nSeek medical treatment, and fast!", "id": 19611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cataract forms in the lens\nOf the eye\u2014both in women's and men's.\nIt's a waterfall, too,\nIn the streams that flow through\nFrom the hills to the meadows and fens.", "id": 19612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "The buckboard: a horsey-drawn thingy\u2014\nYour seat's put on boards that are springy.\nThe rest isn't sprung,\nSo the ride ain't among\nThe most pleasant for things that you bringy.", "id": 19613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Joel Grey played a sleazy emcee;\nHosted cabaret shticks with great glee,\nWith his spellbinding guise\nAnd his warm beady eyes,\nSinging \"Beadily, deedily, dee.\"", "id": 19614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In each binary meter we score\nDual feet, weak or strong\u2014nothing more.\nTrochaic feels bitchy.\nIambic\u2014more kitschy.\nSpondaic and pyrrhic make four.", "id": 19615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Alphonsus, Hawaii-sized crater\nJust south of the lunar equator,\nSports mountain and crack.\nRanger 9 took a whack\nAnd we haven't been back. Maybe later?", "id": 19616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "So attractive, magnetic...I'm drawn,\nDear, to you. It's just hopeless\u2014I'm pawn\nTo your queen. I'm a chump,\nA big dope and a lump\nOf nothing and you're\u2014Goldie Hawn!", "id": 19617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "William Shakespeare, the limericist, spends\nEvery minute on verse for his friends.\nWith the clock's final chime,\nHe's, alas, out of time;\nIn a crunch, he writes \"All's well that ends.\"", "id": 19618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Is the Bible a schoolteacher's quiz?\nIs the Lord a mathematical whiz?\nI see Numbers and more \u2014\nThere are three fathers fore???\nWhat's this \"Go forth and multiply\" biz?", "id": 19619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "O, Lord, I'm a blasphemous one.\nPlease forgive me \u2014 I'm under the gun.\nThe reason I'm damned\nIs this website is crammed\nWith ungodly temptations to pun.", "id": 19620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You like cats? Like their cute feline pranks?\nFor a Sphynx or Burmese, you'll give thanks.\nIs a Persian for you\nOr a nice Russian Blue?\nAt the end of this tale, choose a Manx.", "id": 19621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ian Fleming wrote novels that rocked\nOf James Bond, so urbane, never shocked.\nWith a gun, in command,\nFemme fatale close at hand,\nHe's the spy who is never half-cocked.", "id": 19622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's an inmate alone; it's a pile;\nIt's to go (no, not you, stay and smile).\nIt's a Crosby, a cherry,\nA Rudolph \u2014 don't worry!\nDescribing this jibing's worthwhile.", "id": 19623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "An alkalophile doesn't die\nWhen it swims in a pool of weak lye.\n\"Thanks a lot!\" says this germ,\n\"This is great for my perm.\nNow my cilia sparkle.  Good-bye!\"", "id": 19624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Bioharmonics is bunk.\nIts inventors were peddlers of junk\nPriced a thousand a pop.\nThe feds said they must stop.\nGuess their energy fields kinda stunk?", "id": 19625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Asperulate: rough to the touch,\nJust a bit, like a cat's tongue or such,\nOr wood that needs sanding\nTo look more outstanding,\nLike pine on my dining room hutch.", "id": 19626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In a  dumpster, an artist might scout\nFor found objects too good to throw out.\nWith care, she arranges\nAssemblages' changes;\nEach work, she hopes, furthers her clout.", "id": 19627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "San Diego's a cape that lies on\nThe northeasternmost tip of Taiwan.\nThe Spaniards once came\nAnd bestowed this fine name\u2014\nIt remains, though the Spanish are gone.", "id": 19628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At Filene's or at Macy's she'll score;\nIt's a discount she seeks in a store.\nArmed with naught but her fists,\nWhile a deal still exists,\nShe will fight for a bargain once more.", "id": 19630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Is this substance here acid or base?\nA pH test determines its place.\nI would pay lots of money\nFor tests for what's pHunny,\nSo a joke won't pHall pHlat on its pHace.", "id": 19631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "A fun-loving elder from Maine,\nOn October vacation in Spain,\nWas autumnally chic\nIn short dresses so sleek,\nAnd determined to fall once again.", "id": 19632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "At the Bridge Club's biannual Dinners,\nMrs Jarvis's speeches are winners.\nShe says the same thing\nEvery autumn and spring,\nBut it always impresses beginners!", "id": 19633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "It's the last word beginning with a\nThat my lexicon features today:\nAny unleavened cake\nIs an azymous bake,\nAnd the Passover bread's made that way.", "id": 19634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "In Belgium, the beer is so strong\nThat no tourist stays sober for long.\nIn Ostend or in Ghent\nAll his money's soon spent,\nAnd his Fremish and Flench sound all wrong!", "id": 19635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Amadeus, the Count of Savoy,\nWas renowned for the guise he'd employ.\nHe would always be seen\nWearing garments of green.\n'Twas a colour he seemed to enjoy.", "id": 19636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Adrammelech sued me for libel!\n(He's some murdering thug from the Bible.)\nI had said he was bad\n'Cos he murdered his dad.\nHis behaviour's disgustingly tribal.", "id": 19637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "The American States wanted war;\nOf this General Brock was quite sure.\nTheir slow pace he'd exploit\nTo thus capture Detroit\n(And a place in Canadian lore).", "id": 19638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and sigg", "limerick": "\"Bear a hand,\" cried the mate.  \"Over here!\"\nSo I took off a glove with good cheer.\nNow I'm chained in the brig\nIn a cell not that big;\nSo I misunderstood, t'would appear.", "id": 19639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "These letters I'll put in italic:\nThe h that's encountered in phallic,\nT and w in towels\u2014\nThey come before vowels\u2014\nThe word for them's antevocalic.", "id": 19640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His ladder was quite perpendicular\nAs he climbed up one tree in particular.\nHe was after the best\nCandid shot of a nest.\n\"All my models,\" he said, \"are avicular.\"", "id": 19641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "There's an old Russian witch, Baba Yaga,\nWhose tale is a spine-chilling saga.\nHer hair's made of wire,\nAnd her glare burns like fire,\nAnd her hide's tough and brown as a Nauga.", "id": 19642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bill ricker", "limerick": "A tectonic plate taking a dive\nMakes geologists jitter and jive,\n'Cause the earth-shaking groan\nIn the Benioff Zone\nMeans a new active margin's alive.", "id": 19643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The guy looked like a beanpole\u2014so thin!\nSo I'm all like, \"Dude! Where've you been?\nIn some place where crops failed,\nOr in stir\u2014were you jailed?\"\nDude says \"chemo\" to my great chagrin.", "id": 19644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "HeuristicsInc", "limerick": "If you want to have friends all life long,\nIt's important to do them no wrong.\nIf it's garlic you eat\n(Or your breath smells like feet),\nChew some mints that are adequately strong.", "id": 19645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Our banquette at the diner held four,\nThough we laughed as a fifth cried, \"One more!\"\nIn he squeezed, kicked my shin:\n\"I'm as hungry as sin\u2014\nWhen this banquet starts, I'll eat a boar!\"", "id": 19646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I went ape, had my fun, now I've stopped;\nBought a bunch of new stuff, now I've dropped.\nGot my goods, had my fill,\nNow I'm shocked, here's my bill;\nMy card balance is due\u2014credit's topped.", "id": 19647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ingrid Bergman shines brightly on screen:\nBlond beauty, great actress as seen\nIn the roles she assumed.\nFor her scandal some fumed,\nBut they can't dim this regal film queen.", "id": 19648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Don't let budgetary woes get you down;\nYou'll never see Bush with a frown.\nHis solution to debt\u2014\nJust spend more; so don't fret,\nYou can follow his lead; play the clown.", "id": 19649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Quite a bucko he was in his youth;\nHad a swagger, was loud and uncouth.\nNow we're all very grateful,\nHe's getting less hateful\nThe longer he gets in the tooth.", "id": 19650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The word awesome as currently used\nIsn't awesome at all\u2014it's abused.\nIt grates on my ear\nWhen such nonsense I hear;\nIt's true grandeur and trivia confused.", "id": 19651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and sallycello", "limerick": "His braillewriter's script is the pits.\nIts embosser is now on the fritz.\nInstead of neat pimples,\nIt forms ragged dimples\u2014\nIt's driving him out of his wits.", "id": 19652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "A babaco plant I could grow\nIn a site where hard frost doesn't go.\nIt has big juicy fruit\nThat I think are just beaut.\n(It's the mountain papaya, you know.)", "id": 19653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In China, the Asians stay thinner;\nEach meal is a healthy man's winner.\nBe their guest? You demurred.\n(You just couldn't have heard,\n\"We'll be woking the dog before dinner.\")", "id": 19654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In love, Bertha's paid all her dues;\nEvery man that she dates is bad news.\nSeems she can't find a beau\nWho won't make her feel low;\nThat's why romance gives Bertha the blues.", "id": 19655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "From my wife came the ultimate word:\n\"Build a badminton court!\"  I was spurred\nTo create what would please her,\nBut failed to appease her.\nWhy else would she flip me the bird?", "id": 19656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The movie star hasn't a clue\nIn a pool-shooting scene \u2014 what to do?\nThe director gets sore\nAnd can't take any more\nWhen the actor keeps missing his cue.", "id": 19657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Seven dwarves for Snow White: Start with Sneezy,\nThen Dopey and Doc \u2014 this is breezy.\nThere's Happy and Sleepy\nAnd Grumpy, who's creepy\n(But no Bashful \u2014 he's shy and uneasy).", "id": 19658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Yo homes, you sho' bustin' some rhyme \u2014\nIt's a crime I don' drop ya a dime.\"\n\"Keep yo cash outta sight\n'Cause we solid, a'ight?\nIt's a gift rap, m' man, and it's prhyme.\"", "id": 19659, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm called Davy Crockett, ya hear?\nAt the ballpark, I'm leading a cheer.\nThe arena's first row\nHolds my grandstanding show.\nI'm the king of the wild front tier.", "id": 19660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Navy commissioned a battleship\nThat passed an inspection with, \"That'll ship.\"\nBut the survey was lax \u2014\nWhere are guns for attacks?\nSeems this scow's an all-hat-and-no-cattle ship.", "id": 19661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A tall tale of a sailor at sea:\nWhen his engine room flooded, then he\nPlugged the leak with his nose,\nWorked the pump with his toes.\nYou say, \"Bilgewater!\" He would agree.", "id": 19662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's a practice so old, it's medieval.\nThe start of a week means upheaval.\nAfter weekend vacation\nComes rude agitation.\nYes, Monday's the root of all evil.", "id": 19663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A wannabe ballplayer tries\nThe outfield; he's catching some flies.\nBut the major league's tough \u2014\nHe's harassed, finds it rough;\nHe's beleaguered by curveballs' surprise.", "id": 19664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Had my wedding today, and who knew,\nThough we barely got started, we're through.\nI was fit to be tied\nWhen my Texas-born bride\nHurt my pride when she hollered, \"Adieu!\"", "id": 19665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's fun to learn history's facts,\nWhile retracing our ancestors' tracks.\nThey buffed, to fight gloom,\nAt the top of each room.\n(This we know 'cause they used ceiling wax.)", "id": 19666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My basketball team has a plan:\nRun the ball just as fast as we can.\nAnd we win as a group\n'Cause we're first to the hoop \u2014\nIt's the fastbreak of champions, man.", "id": 19667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A lumberjack begs, \"Hear my plea \u2014\nToo much work means I'll never get free.\nI can handle the brunt\nOf that tree out in front,\nBut that backlog is murdering me.\"", "id": 19668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Can you fix all the noise in my flat?\"\n\"It takes soundproofing screens to combat\nYour loud neighbor.\" (So stressful!)\nThe labor's successful!\n\"I'm baffled \u2014 you fixed it like that?\"", "id": 19669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "There's a sound that can terrify me:\nIt's a wasp's and goes 'b-u-z-z',\nBut a lesson it's taught\nWhen its buzz I cut short\nWith my swatter \u2014 one swipe! RIP!", "id": 19670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "God said, \"Paul, do not preach in Bithynia\nOr Asia\" (the haunt of the prinia).\n\"Macedonia's throng\nNeeds my gospel\u2014be strong:\nThis is God, not just oneirodynia.\"", "id": 19671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I explained that I'm very traditional.\nNo wedding? No sex. Unconditional.\n\"That's a problem,\" he said,\n\"As I'm not getting wed\nUnless forced to in ways avolitional.\"", "id": 19672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "So, this character; where is he from?\nWas his father a prince, or a bum?\nWhat's he hate or enjoy?\nWhat's his backstory, boy?\nHow'd he get to be who he's become?", "id": 19673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "GPS; VOR; DME;\nINS; PAR; NDB.\nAvigation today\nMeans the ol' FAA\nWill hear less VFR ELT.", "id": 19674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If the murderous type, then indeed one\nOf those Blue Screens of Death might just lead one\nTo commit compucide:\n\"My computer just died!\nHoly hell! Where's a gun when I need one!?!\"", "id": 19675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"If you miss this last game-winning basket,\"\nThe coach said, \"I won't blow a gasket.\nI'll just rip out your heart,\nTear your body apart,\nAnd then bury your bits in a casket.\"", "id": 19676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Acetabulum's found on a leech,\nOr a mollusc or flatworm; a niche\nOf nature's wild things\nWith flat muscular rings\nThat stick them to the things that they reach.", "id": 19677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The music of William Byrd,\nPlayed on viols \u2014 a treat to be heard!\nSo serene, so sublime\nThat the passage of time\nGoes awry as emotions are stirred.", "id": 19678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Acenaphthene, from coal tar reclaimed,\n1,8-ethylenenaphthalene's named.\nIt's useful in plastic;\nFor drugs it's fantastic,\nBut for cancer it well could be blamed.", "id": 19679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "B flat is a tone below C,\nAnd a tone and a half above G.\nIt's a fourth above F\nAnd, whatever the clef,\nIt's a semitone lower than B.", "id": 19680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Those Apodes just crashed a Toyota\nThrough the front of my girlfriend's pagoda;\nWith no place to hide,\nAll the snakes trapped inside\nSadly drowned in their favorite soda.", "id": 19681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a nuclear family's fission,\nThere are multiple costs of division,\nFor subtracting a spouse,\nAnd dividing the house,\nWith attorneys to pay in addition.", "id": 19682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When that mermaid was dating a bounder,\nThe mistreatment would always astound her,\nBut, aware that it's bad\nTo be dating a cad,\nShe has fallen, instead, for a flounder.", "id": 19683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As he sat for his statue in bronze,\nThe old Buddhist discussed pros and cons\nOf the life of a priest.\n\"Every day, there's a feast\u2014\nBut the food isn't good,\" sighed the bonze.", "id": 19684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With flair and a bit of flamboyance,\nSibyl Claire likes to practice clairvoyance,\nThough she's lately been irked\nWhen her sight hasn't worked\u2014\nAn increasingly common annoyance.", "id": 19686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At dawning, I yawn and awaken.\nFrom that smell, I can tell what you're makin'.\nSetting fire to the lard\nRenders thoroughly charred,\nIndigestible messes of bacon.", "id": 19687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With appreciable need to equip,\nMight your cargo be sent on a trip\nOverseas?  Odds are greater\nYou'll need an affreighter,\nWho arranges to charter the ship.", "id": 19688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An attorney named Curt went to court\nIn defense of a tort of some sort:\nHe wrote briefs far too long,\nBut appeared in a thong,\nWearing briefs too excessively short.", "id": 19689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the groom was soon bedding his bride\nNear the spot where their knot had been tied,\nOnly hours before,\nShe'd been playing the whore\nWith the boyfriend she saw on the side.", "id": 19690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We're apportioning wealth so each heir\nWill receive her proportionate share.\nAs we oftentimes say,\n\"There's a will? There's a way,\"\nWhile we strive to arrive at what's fair.", "id": 19691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The baker's innumerate cousin\nWas mistaken more often than wasn':\n'E would sell from the shelves\nLowly batches of twelves,\nVErsus thirteen (a round baker's dozen).", "id": 19692, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As we're wending our way though the wold,\nLittle Alice won't do as she's told:\nApt to stray from her class,\nShe will wander, alas,\nTo be lost in the woods, in the cold.", "id": 19693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To divide up an apple and pear\nSo that everyone garnered her share?\nWe were quite at a loss\n'Til we cooked them as sauce,\nYielding portions impeccably fair.", "id": 19694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You've been barring a bear from her lair,\nAnd discovered the bear doesn't scare.\nNow you're trapped underneath\nA large mouthful of teeth.\nBut you're winning your bet!  Do you care?", "id": 19695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the dark of the park, it was stark:\nI got mugged by a lark for a lark!\nI regret I still get\nWet with sweat from the threat\nOf that dread alouette from the park.", "id": 19696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're puzzled and can't understand\nHow your broker lost twenty-five grand?\nWhen he'd pick out a stock,\nIt would sink like a rock.\nNow his brokerage wants to expand.", "id": 19697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A beaver, a true-love believer,\nWas attached to a golden retriever.\nThough he knew that the dog\nCouldn't chew on a log,\nHe just wooden't conceivably leave her.", "id": 19698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The edge is alleged to be there,\nWhere the scariest seafarers fare.\nThat abyss\u2014mouth of hell,\nWhere the sea monsters dwell\u2014\nOnly foolhardy hearties would dare.", "id": 19699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will Wanda who wanders afield\nWith the weapons she'll skillfully wield\nBe so willowy-lithe\nWhile she's swinging a scythe\nThat the grasses will willingly yield?", "id": 19700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "kandabongo", "limerick": "Are your nerves feeling frayed, overstraining?\nDoes it seem like their axoplasm's draining?\nStep right up! Try our tonic!\nIt's hyper-colonic\nFor nerves: fills 'em up! [May cause staining.]", "id": 19701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I've a body that has to proceed\nFrom point A to point B with great speed.\nIf the gravity's sound\nWith no friction around,\nThe brachistochrone curve's what I need!", "id": 19702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A blue-footed booby, when mating,\nDoes intricate preening and prating;\nAnd soon dad and mother\nTake turns with each other,\nTheir eggs with their feet incubating.", "id": 19703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Pommes frites and those dread Brussels sprouts\u2014\nCould they both come from Belgium? I've doubts.\nThough the first are delicious,\nThe second are vicious.\nWhen I serve them to Grandpa, he pouts.", "id": 19705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "You won't see a fine arabesque\nIn a vaudeville show or burlesque.\nSo balletic a pose\nKeeps a girl on her toes\u2014\nVery graceful and so picturesque.", "id": 19706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though my mind, in its bind, may be marred,\nI would journey, though journeys are hard,\nIf I could, through the peace\nAnd the blissful release\nOf a world from which dreams were not barred.", "id": 19707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Decorations of red, white, and blue;\nA small bird of an indigo hue;\nA wee babe's hooded sack;\nGiving balls a slight whack\u2014\nAll are meanings of bunting, it's true.", "id": 19708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I know babies deserve the best food.\nI educate, help, but am booed.\nI'm a breastfeeding activist\nA.K.A. lactivist,\nOr boob nazi. (Folks can be rude!)", "id": 19709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A toy soldier's our first in command;\n\"Stay the course,\" he directs, flag in hand.\nSome wish he were brighter,\nThis bold and brave fighter\nEnsconced in his fantasy land.", "id": 19710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He looked back on the crimes he'd abetted,\nAnd felt like a punk; he regretted\nThe life he had led\u2014\nHe thought that instead,\nIt should have been more that he netted.", "id": 19711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A buck passer's one who excuses\nHis errors with rank he misuses.\nIf the buck's passed to you\nThere is grief to ensue,\nSince you'll be the guy he abuses.", "id": 19712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "John Ashcroft just couldn't forestall\nHaving surgery once and for all.\nBut when up and about,\nWith his gallbladder out,\nNot to worry, he still had his gall.", "id": 19713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Among all the angels, one serves\nWho's the tops. She's the one who preserves\nFrom those lines we may fashion,\nThose drawn with compass-ion.\nShe's an archangel.  Check out her curves.", "id": 19714, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The Wild West harbored many a perp\nAnd a lawman that none could usurp.\nThe bandits who belched\nFound their liberty squelched\nBy the sheriff they called Qwyatt Burp.", "id": 19715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My wife was so sleepy. She said,\n\"I'll be resting my weary old head.\"\nWhat a scene hits my eyes \u2014\nWhat's it mean, this surprise?\nWhat a clever disguise \u2014 she's a bed!", "id": 19716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There once was a hobo named Bo\nWho scrounged nickels wherever he'd go.\nHe'd make lovely designs\nBy carving in lines,\nWhich today sell for serious dough.", "id": 19717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Here's the plan when your hunger attacks:\nSun-dried grapes make your tummy relax.\nThey're an energy burst;\nYou should reach for them first \u2014\nThey're the best raisin d'etre for snacks.", "id": 19718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I'm colorless, quite achromatic.\nI'm agile, in fact, acrobatic.\nThat first letter's a?\nIt's a trait I portray.\nSee my gills? I've got breadth \u2014 I'm aquatic.", "id": 19719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To play Yahtzee, my set won't suffice \u2014\nParts are missing, to be more precise.\nNow I'm absent the joy\nOf the game we'd employ;\nIt annoys me to tell you, \"No dice!\"", "id": 19720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Achoo syndrome can give you a fright:\nSuch sneezing from seeing the light!\nIt's genetically passed,\nAnd since it may last\nThey'll \"Gesundheit! Gesundheit!\" your plight.", "id": 19721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "All those memories, when life was a blast \u2014\nNo one knew that our clocks ticked so fast!\nWe were once, you and me,\nLittle ova-to-be.\nThat's an ooblast, man, from the past.", "id": 19722, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There once was a hacker obsessed\nWith the writing of limericks that jest\nAbout modem transmissions\nAnd signal transitions,\n'Cause a limerick that's baudy's the best.", "id": 19723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I add to my letter Cc:,\nThat means people get copies from me.\nCarbon copy's the phrase\nHanded down from those days\nEre computers sent emails for free.", "id": 19724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In my Volkswagen Beetle, I chug\nUp a hill, and I know it must bug\nAll the drivers behind,\nBut this auto's designed\nTo be frugal...and I to be smug.", "id": 19725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We broke our engagement last year; it's\nBeen lonely since then, and I fear it's\nToo hurtful and sad.\n'Twould be nice if I had\nA new someone to bolster my spirits....", "id": 19726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Said Monsieur, without further ado,\n\"Shall we kindle affection anew?\nLet us drain some champagne\nOn the plain by the Maine\u2014\nJust us two, me and you, in Anjou.\"", "id": 19727, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The pros were too prudish and weeny\nTo model his brand-new bikini.\nSo Louis suggested\nThe lovely, full-chested\nEcdysiast, M. Bernardini.", "id": 19728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Is this the best piece that I've got?\nI'd say, \"No, most assuredly not.\nBut I think it's on par\nWith my others so far\u2014\nAbout average\u2014not righteous, not rot.\"", "id": 19729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Like a uniform garb for a party,\nThe aloha shirt's worn by the hearty\nCelebrators of glad\nTimes, wherever they're had\u2014\nBy Akira, Palani or Marty.", "id": 19730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "We say \"saw\" though it ends s-a-s.\nI'm referring to Bill's AR. Yes,\nIt's confusing, but then\nIt's the case once again:\nSense is trumped by what's what, so I guess.", "id": 19731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Fourteen weeks \u2014 sixty hours at a turn,\nThen the boss said, \"You've something to learn.\nYour report is pure crap.\"\nI just stared at my lap\nAnd stayed silent, but did a slow burn.", "id": 19732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "I once knew a man from Peru\nWhose limericks stopped at line two.\nThis had an effect,\nAs you well might expect,\nOn the workshopping comments he drew.", "id": 19733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Ad hanc vocem\u2014I saw it occur\nIn a tome and it made me unsure.\nJust what is it? And where\nDo I go to get there?\nTo which word is it meant to refer?", "id": 19734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Anglophiliacs share true admiration\nFor England, its customs and nation.\nThough some states reject it\nWe English accept it \u2014\nWe know we're the good Lord's creation.", "id": 19735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "If you 'anker to fill up your flask,\nPark your butt while I find the right cask.\nYou punch'n your order,\nI'll go to the gorda.\nThis is more than a wee firkin task.", "id": 19736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "We grow wheat, an abundant variety \u2014\nMake a living through pastoral piety.\nThe scenery's charming,\nThe farming quite calming;\nIt's a great and agrarian society.", "id": 19737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "It was bruited that Catherine the Great\nSelected a horse for her mate.\nMen spread this canard\n'Cause they took it so hard\nThat a woman took over the State.", "id": 19738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When the Bront\u00ebs their writings began\n(That's Emily, Charlotte and Anne),\nEach was just \"Mr Bell\"\nSo that no-one could tell\nThat not one of the three was a man.", "id": 19739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "That fellow there playing the bombard\nBy descent (so he says) is a Lombard;\nAs musician (not banker)\nAn absolute wanker:\nI'm trying to get his \"om-pom\" barred.", "id": 19740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Deconstruction's a buzzword to some;\nAcademia, though, makes me numb.\nI'd rather be playing\nOn quiz shows and saying\nSome buzz word that wins me a plum.", "id": 19741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I used to think dialup was slow,\nAnd broadband the sole way to go.\nBut in uploading data,\nMy typing errata\nSoon proved that my best speed was \"Whoa!\"", "id": 19742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The blueblood gasped, \"Air! 'Fore I choke!\nMy airways are blocked\u2014it's no joke!\"\nSaid the blonde, \"Well, it's true\nThat you're now turning blue,\nBut you're Frog Prince . . . don't frogs always croak?\"", "id": 19743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Take an organism: has it a shell?\nDoes it live long, and where does it dwell?\nBioscientists find\nThat such knowledge combined\nIn life science explains every cell.", "id": 19744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My contractor's subs use bad crews,\nShoddy workers I'd never once choose.\nI'm so mad I could scream\nAt their wiring scheme\u2014\nElectricians who just blew my fuse.", "id": 19745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With gold bands, Lance asked Hans for his hand,\nBut then courts ruled such unions were banned.\nNow, since Lance can't wed Hans,\nThere's no need to post banns,\nAnd their wedding band's gig has been canned.", "id": 19746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Is it bigger than a breadbox?\" you say;\nWith just Twenty, your Questions can't stray,\nBut your mind soon diverges\nFrom playing; your urge is\nTo measure a breadbox today.", "id": 19747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When the Agency propped up a guy\nNamed Bin Laden, 'twas done on the sly.\nWith our help, an armed threat,\nNow he's too hard to get,\nAnd the blowback's now why our troops die.", "id": 19748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Said the Church, \"You're a heretic\u2014go!\"\nGalileo took that as a blow.\nAfter death, vindication\nMight have caused celebration,\nBut the Church's one-eighty was slow.", "id": 19749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He thinks that he's catching her eye,\nWhile he's angling for bluefish, but why\nDoes she sidle up to him\nAs if she just knew him?\nShe's eyeing his catch for a fry.", "id": 19750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He swipes at and throws all his fries,\nThen lets loose with loud squeals and strange cries.\nHe's animalistic;\nMom's going ballistic,\nBut he's barely turned one, and time flies.", "id": 19751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He's accoutered his bedroom in style;\nShe's arriving in just a short while.\nChilled champagne at the ready,\nPillows fluffed, and her teddy\nComes off soon . . . just imagine his smile.", "id": 19752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ah, the em dash \u2014  that flowing stroke I\nCan't resist, for it helps my words fly!\nSee 'em dash from my pen\nIn long lines \u2014 though not when\nI am using my keyboard \u2014 well, try!", "id": 19753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bovine Bessie was taught to play soccer\nIn hopes she'd become a great blocker,\nBut her poor World Cup play\nCaused her coaches to say,\n\"That's the ballgame!  Go clean out your locker!\"", "id": 19754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The bakery's destitute, though\nI'd have sworn they were rolling in dough.\nThe solution is easy,\nSo simple and breezy:\nA cakewalk seems most apropos.", "id": 19755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "The Akashic Record sets down\n(And is held by some faiths in renown)\u2014\n'Til death and from birth\u2014\nOur life on this earth:\nEach soul, every thought, every frown.", "id": 19756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Rats infected with Chagas' disease\nMake ablastin, their symptoms to ease.\nThis protein, negating\nTrypanosomes' mating,\nHelps the rats give the microbes the freeze.", "id": 19757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He barged in with a gun in each hand,\nAnd pronounced a peculiar command:\n\"Hand your gold and your cash\nTo the guy with the sash,\nAnd no giggling! Do y'all understand?\"", "id": 19758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Edna Saint Vincent Millay\nWas having a terrible day.\nShe banged out a sonnet\nWith fifteen lines on it,\nAnd couldn't throw any away.", "id": 19759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Pretty eyes and plush fur that was wavy:\nThese things both described my dear cavy.\nSo cute and petite,\nShe was guinea pig sweet\u2014\nAnd her meat made a wonderful gravy!", "id": 19760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "How far has the bird flu now spread?\n\"It's a cough that confines them to bed,\"\nSays the Vatican doc\nAs he cares for his flock\nOf ill cardinals (men dressed in red).", "id": 19761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Bee balm, northern hemisphere herb,\nWith colours and fragrance superb.\nYellow-white, heaven scent,\nYou all know what is meant\nWhen my garden's signed \"Do Not Disturb\".", "id": 19762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Those guys at the YMCA\nAre so friendly and upright and gay!\nNo, that's not aggravation\nOf straights, just elation \u2014\nI'm planning no slanging today!", "id": 19763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "The Achras, you'll surely agree,\nIs a wonderful sort of a tree:\nGrows a fruit like a plum,\nSapodilla, yum-yum,\nAnd a gum you can chew on with glee.", "id": 19764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though his friends cried, \"You're crazy, O'Bellis!\nYou've put up a view-blocking trellis!\"\nThe nudist Miss Dornat\n(Because she got sworn at)\nKnew Mrs. O'Bellis was jealous.", "id": 19765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a basketball team near Back Bay\nThat is famed for its floor of parquet.\nThey're the Celtics of Boston,\nWho never seem lost in\nThe shamrocks of green as they play.", "id": 19766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Toward the meeting on landfill he hastened,\nAnd expecting to lose, he felt chastened,\nBut his plan was win-win,\nSo the Council gave in,\nAnd they filled in the land that was basined.", "id": 19767, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've had winningness; also had losingness\n(The latter, perhaps, due to boozingness),\nBut you'll have to admit,\nWhen the dust's what I bit,\nI have always collapsed with amusingness.", "id": 19768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On an ancient world map, if one peeks,\nOne may find, among other antiques,\nOn the Strymon, a city,\nStrategic, and pretty:\nAmphipolis, built by the Greeks.", "id": 19769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I don't really look where I'm walking,\nSometimes steady in pace, sometimes balking,\nAs I amble, half dead,\nWriting rhymes in my head\u2014\nLips may move, but you can't hear me talking.", "id": 19770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My buddy created a racket\nWhen he buttonholed me: \"You won't hack it\nWith the rich and the famous,\nYou big ignoramus;\nThe buttonhole's torn on your jacket!\"", "id": 19771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anolis: a genus of lizard\nThat's rarely found out in a blizzard;\nThey're chameleons that,\nAt the drop of a hat,\nCan disguise themselves, just like a wizard.", "id": 19772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As an artifice, make up a fib,\nWhether red-faced and halting or glib.\nI was trained in my highchair;\nWhen you saw me in my chair,\nIt said World's Sweetest Girl on my bib.", "id": 19773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amphipoda sport fourteen feet,\nAnd they live in salt water or sweet,\nLike the beach flea, petite-est,\nAnd maybe the neatest\nCrustacean that you'll ever meet.", "id": 19774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's aplasia if something's not there\nWhen a baby is born. It's not rare\nThat the lobe of the ear\nHas just failed to appear.\nYou appear to be missing a pair!", "id": 19775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An old epileptic named Fritz\nOnce suffered from terrible fits.\nWhen he found them repellant,\nAn anticonvellent\nRestored him to health.  There he sits!", "id": 19776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Nez Perce learned to handle them best,\nAnd would ride Appaloosas with zest.\nWe're unsure of their source,\nBut this wonderful horse\nWas (and still is) the pride of the west.", "id": 19777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was nine, maybe ten, thereabouts,\nAnd was subject to Grossmutter's shouts\u2014\n\"You don't move till you ate\nEvery green on the plate!\"\u2014\nWhen the menu involved Brussels sprouts.", "id": 19778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "As the source of new tools in the 'hood\n(In the Stone Age), some flint would be good.\nWith a burin's production\nBy lithic reduction,\nYou'll find you can now carve on wood.", "id": 19779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "She works twenty fathoms below,\nIn a submarine kind of tableau.\nOn a date with this dish\nShe called me a cold fish\u2014\nWell it takes one to know one, y'know.", "id": 19780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's not an iota of fat\nOn his body; his abdomen's flat.\nBulging pecs on his torso\u2014\nHe's handsome, and more so\u2014\nAn authentic Adonis, at that.", "id": 19781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Saint Ambrose (the bishop, of course),\nIn Milan, was a man of great force.\nTo his honors were joined\nThe Ambrosin, coined\nWith a picture of him on a horse.", "id": 19782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antelucan means \"held before light,\"\nBefore dawn and the sun growing bright.\nEarly Christians met then\nFor their prayers; that was when\nPersecution in Rome reached its height.", "id": 19783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A boxer (his thinking appalls!)\nGives a rival, who usually mauls,\nAndromedotoxin\nTo ruin his boxin';\nOne sip and his blood pressure falls.", "id": 19784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You've been hit by a car; your prognosis\nIs good\u2014there's no break or thrombosis.\nBut the crash may remain\nWay back there in your brain,\nIn the form of an accident neurosis.", "id": 19785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our computers fulfill every need;\nThey do math with incredible speed.\nThey can animate comics\u2014\nWhat's next? Autonomics?\nCan they actually translate and read?", "id": 19786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "I cook eggs in an anti-stick pan,\nWhich I serve to my anti-stick man.\nSoft-cooked eggs don't adhere;\nNor do taunts meant to smear:\nNot one taint makes my pol \"also-ran.\"", "id": 19787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "You once were the looked-down-upon-est\nOf crooks, into sleaze the far-gone-est.\nAll that's past, billionaire.\nBuy a peerage from Blair.\nYou've got on.  Now get honour \u2014 then honest.", "id": 19788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Happitis, Happitis. Drillatis,\nReaditis, Dreaditis, Stillatis!\nBuildatis, Spikeatis,\nArmatis, Strikeatis,\nAbatis, Stabatis, Killatis!", "id": 19789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A congenital problem to rue:\nNo vagina leaves life all askew.\nBut a female physician\nCan't fix the condition;\nIt's Amann's operation to do.", "id": 19790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My accountant is simply the best;\nHe works hard on my books, I attest.\nWhen my debits and credits\nNeed criminous edits,\nThere's never a break or a rest.", "id": 19791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's the fight of the season, and all\nWatch the boxers to see who will fall.\nBetween rounds there's a cutie\nWho's shaking her booty;\nThe bell brings the belle of the brawl.", "id": 19792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When I die, it's my lawyer who bears\nThe duty to close my affairs.\nBut I love a good joke,\nSo I'm gonna die broke\nAnd leave laughing while putting on heirs.", "id": 19793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Where does Bunker Hill Monument sit?\nBunker Hill? I'm afraid that's not it.\nA Bostonian knows\nThat this obelisk goes\nUp on Breed's Hill \u2014 remember this bit!", "id": 19794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "What's that beautiful barnyard delight?\nIt's a bovine with plumage (so bright!).\nThough I never would lie,\nYou've a skeptical eye.\nYou say \"Bullfeathers!\"  Perfectly right.", "id": 19795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"You'll adore me,\" I said to her, chattily,\n\"True love means you won't answer cattily.\nIt's stamps I collect,\nSo romance I expect.\"\n\"You'll get nowhere with fawning philately.\"", "id": 19796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A Los Angeles murderous tale:\nIt's gruesome; it's gory; you'll pale.\nThe Black Dahlia was killed!\nSomeone surgically skilled\nBisected her \u2014 never faced jail.", "id": 19797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the home where my children were raised,\nIn the style of 's the trail that we blazed,\nFor my trendspotting spouse\nRan this copycat house,\nAnd our motto was \"a la be praised.\"", "id": 19798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A short musket possessed of wide bore\nWas discharged by a sarge toward the floor.\nWhat a blunderous blunderbuss!\n(Thunderous under us!)\nHe was rotten, that dolt, to the corps.", "id": 19799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Look at Carly!  Her life is awry;\nShe used to be Charlie, a guy.\nShe yearned to be wed\nTo a doctor, and said,\n\"To the altar?\" \"Why, sure, I'll comply.\"", "id": 19800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Those three little words that endeared\nSaid the man of my dreams had appeared:\nSo free with affection,\nLove's perfect selection.\nSaid my man, \"Paint your house?\" and I teared.", "id": 19801, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "It's a world filled with hatred, aflame;\n\"Love thy neighbor\" no longer \u2014 our shame.\nCiting various Lords,\nWe beat plowshares to swords:\nWhat a blasphemous use of God's name.", "id": 19802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Aviv was the month in the spring\nAncient Jews did the Passover thing,\nThanking God he took care o'\nThat horrible Pharaoh\n(A shonda he ever made King!).", "id": 19803, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "There were runners on base, first and third.\n'Fore the crack of a bat could be heard,\nThe guy on third ran,\nStealing home\u2014what a man!\u2014\nWhile the pitcher, too late, flipped a bird.", "id": 19804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Apatosaurus: a dinosaur pet?\nHis food bill would keep you in debt.\nHe was massive and slow.\nIf you had one, you know\nA pot o' tsuris is what you would get.", "id": 19805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "As his gaze swept the star-spangled view,\nWas there someone out there watching too?\nFrom his planet afar,\nThe Earth's sun was a star.\nAll alone? (God, if only he knew!)", "id": 19806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Aluminium's okay by me\nBut the verb's not so easy, you see:\nAluminiuming\nMakes my dental plate ring,\nAnd my tongue's where it ought not to be!", "id": 19807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Veggies strewn on a plate like confetti\nAre brunoise.  The chef got them ready\nBy dicing real fine\n(One-eighth inch is divine)\nWhile she's keeping her knife sharp and steady.", "id": 19808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The baby boom: count me as one\nOf those postwar kids eager to shun\nParents' capitalist tools\nAnd authority's rules,\nUntil growing up ended our fun.", "id": 19809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "He's not worried; he goes with the flow,\nThough his bandy-legged limbs form a bow.\nSome say it was rickets\nFrom when he was sick; it's\nA sure thing a cowpoke would show.", "id": 19810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Jackson Pollock's the one who's known best\nFor painting in action; the rest\nMight disdain dribs and drabs\nWhile the critics keep tabs\nOn whether their work meets the test.", "id": 19811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As kids we had oodles of fun.\nWe'd be cops catching crooks on the run.\nEvery boy had a blast\nIn those days that are past,\nShooting caps from his fifty-round gun.", "id": 19812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "For cutting some wood, use a handsaw,\nFor speed, an electric unmanned saw.\nDon't you ask for an ax\nIf you're slicing a sax\nOr a trumpet \u2014 just march to a bandsaw.", "id": 19813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Bradycardia: heart beating slow;\nTake care if your pulse falls too low.\nThe cause? Not specific,\nPerhaps soporific\nEffects from The Brady Bunch show?", "id": 19814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Streams of consciousness, streams to the sea,\nSea of troubles, what's troubling me?\nMeandering furrows\nFor William S. Burroughs\nThat burrow through minds that are free.", "id": 19815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An \"African penguin\"?  I doubt it!\nThe jungles, I'm sure, are without it.\nBut my sister insists\nThat it really exists,\nAnd she sends me this book all about it.", "id": 19816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I consider the scholarship shoddy\nClaiming yoga's a thing of the body.\nAntarangas, you'll find,\nAre concerned with the mind:\nThey are dharana, dhyana, samadhi.", "id": 19817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Well, Cam Roy, am I Mayor Macllew?\"\n\"O Democrats' non-star, come, do!\nNot New York,\" Roy went on,\n\"Now Sahoto has 'Won'...\nOh, who came to vote, Mac, oh who?\"", "id": 19818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The carpenter had a small fit\u2014\nThe drill always wobbled a bit.\nSo a bitstock he found,\nTo spin the drill 'round;\nBraced his language, too\u2014kept it legit.", "id": 19819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "How dare you to browbeat me, sir?\nYou are only my father's chauffeur!\nYour demeanor is stern,\nAnd your words slash and burn;\nI'll go tell, then you're fired, monsieur!", "id": 19820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now you might think that this is just bad o' me,\nBut for years I've been at this academy.\nTo study's to shirk,\nSo here I will lurk,\nSince working will make something sad o' me.", "id": 19821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "To see rockets, Canaveral's it,\nAt the tip of this Florida spit\u2014\nFrom Bumper to Titan,\nThe predawn skies brighten,\nWhen the cape at each lift-off is lit.", "id": 19822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Other great Attic writers, enthralled,\nHung on Sophocles' words. Then they called\nHim the great Attic Bee,\nFor his plays, they'd agree,\nWere much sweeter than those the rest scrawled.", "id": 19823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "On a dartboard the centermost red\nIs the spot most good darters hit dead\nWhen they're aiming to win,\nOr be first to begin;\nBut the bull fills a novice with dread.", "id": 19824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "At the headlands, the oceans compete,\nWith their currents aswirl where they meet.\nAt The Cape and The Horn,\nMany maelstroms are born\u2014\nSailing past them is still a great feat.", "id": 19825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The Dutch sailed the southerly seas\nOn the Lioness, charting with ease.\nOther ships with less luck\nAt Cape Leeuwin struck\nUnseen rocks, like the ship Pericles.", "id": 19826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Neither borrower nor lender be,\"\nSays Polonius. \"Loans aren't free.\nThey can cost you a friend,\nOr get lost. In the end,\nIf you must borrow, borrow from me.\"", "id": 19827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "True amateurs, often decried,\nShould take all such slurs in their stride,\nSince working for love\nMust come well above\nTheir working while ungratified.", "id": 19828, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Adapter \u2014 converting device.\nIt will fix up your kit in a trice!\nIt's a little-known quirk \u2014\nUS gadgets won't work\nIn Europe, regardless of price.", "id": 19829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "In this ploy, with the union's full backing,\nAll the goods from one firm they weren't packing.\nThose crates were not moved\nTill the steward approved.\nIn a labor dispute, it's called blacking.", "id": 19830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "Television can make me unstable?\nWho cares?  Just as long as I'm able\nTo get every show.\nLet inanity flow\nThrough a half-inch coaxial cable.", "id": 19831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "\"Eggs are fatty,\" said Jacques, off the cuff,\n\"Calorific, and all that bad stuff.\nYet you English eat two\nWith your breakfast.  Mon dieu!\nHere in France, though, one egg is un oeuf.\"", "id": 19832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "You break off a wee bit from a mass.\nYou break off a wee date with a lass.\nAnd the last of the ways\nTo employ the same phrase:\nYou break off...", "id": 19833, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "As I'm just a bilingual gawk,\nI can tell you: aller means \"to walk\"\nIn French (or \"to go\").\nWhat else do I know?\nOh, parler means \"to speak\" or \"to talk\".", "id": 19834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Well, my love, you're in trouble, I fear.\n'Twould be best if you'd just disappear,\nFor my traveling spouse\nHas come back to our house,\nAnd now all of a sudden he's here.", "id": 19835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There's a cult leader living in Wales\nWho sleeps on a sharp bed of nails.\nYou'd think at some juncture\nHe'd suffer a puncture,\nBut his novice beneath never fails.", "id": 19836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The U.S. has a biscuit, a bread \u2014\nIt's a plump little roll that you spread\nWith some butter, let's say.\nIf your home's the UK,\nThen the same word means \"cookie\" instead.", "id": 19837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A blazoner\u2014what was he for\nIn the past that we call \"days of yore\"?\nHe designed coats of arms.\nNow the word's lost its charms\u2014\nIt means \"publicist\"\u2014hoopla galore!", "id": 19838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You can't have an acellular prison!\nSuch a thing would be met with derision.\nI'm just punning in fact,\nFor the cells that are lacked\nAre the kind found where life has arisen.", "id": 19839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "He's the ultimate blurbist! Congrats!\nHis reviews are effusive, and that's\nWhy he's quoted worldwide\u2014\nI laughed and I cried!\nA triumph! He's better than Cats!", "id": 19840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My aunt, Mrs. Emmeline Garret,\nHad a red-headed Amazon parrot.\nIts language was blue\nBut she knew what to do:\nAdd an onion, potato, and carrot.", "id": 19841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "I would play Highland games till I wilt\nWere it not for the way that I'm built.\nOh, I'm up to the labor\nOf tossing a caber,\nBut how would I look in a kilt?", "id": 19842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Ardiar", "limerick": "The prime suspect's position is dire,\nAs the state has decided to try her.\nHer angelical face\nOf her guilt gives no trace\u2014\nThat machete might be the belier.", "id": 19843, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A cry that is meant to disturb'll\nBring Mom ere a child becomes verbal.\nBut then, joy of joys \u2014\nHe discovers the noise\nOf the blurps and the chirps we call burble.", "id": 19844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"He's a criminal mastermind, Wayne.\nBoth the head of his gang, and the brain.\"\n\"He's not worth your respect\u2014\nNothing's missing, I've checked.\"\n\"Yes, the baggage is here.  Where's the train?\"", "id": 19845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "It's not often an elf is struck dumb;\nThey are rarely wrong-footed or glum.\nBut was Legolas centred\nWhen Durin's Bane entered?\nNope. \"Aiee! A Balrog is come!\"", "id": 19846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Where our forefathers led, should we follow?\nTheir moralisation rings hollow.\nThe record reports\nThey went in for blood sports;\nThat's a taste I can't easily swallow.", "id": 19847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Though X-rays inspire my revulsion,\nSome find them a source of compulsion.\nAutoradiography\nMaps the geography\nOf radiant things on emulsion.", "id": 19848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "To analyse means to dissect,\nOpen up with a knife, disconnect.\nThere's nothing that moves\nWithout laying down grooves.\n\"Cutting edge\"\u2014Robert Pirsig. Respect!", "id": 19849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I went to a party last year\nWhere they tossed around lots of abir.\nNow my chin is all green\nWith a glittery sheen,\nAnd my nose has turned purple. How queer!", "id": 19850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "So the active crust boundary teems\nWith hot rock; it's apart at the seams!\nWhen two crusty plates\nMove around, dire straits!\nThey adjust; while the core below gleams.", "id": 19851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "This room is so plain I can't stand it,\nBut I know a cheap way to un-bland it.\nLet's apply Anaglypta\n(With glue it's equipped); a\nFine molding now looks like I planned it.", "id": 19852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "'You're surrounded! Don't fight any more!\nLay your boomerang down on the floor!'\nSo with no more ado,\nI surrendered and threw\nIt away. Then I ducked \u2014 won the war!", "id": 19853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A breech presentation is rare\nAnd can lead to a breach or a tear.\nThe breech is the part\nOf a baby whose start\nIn the world comes when buttocks meet air.", "id": 19854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The corned beef and cabbage you serve\nShows a chef who has gusto and nerve,\nMaking me a new fan\nOf this meat from a can.\nSo it's bully for you and your verve!", "id": 19855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alphabetically ordered are three\nOf Afghanistan's letters, I see.\nSo I'll Kabul together\nA limerick, and whether\nIt works doesn't matter to me.", "id": 19856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biculturalism succeeds\nIf the attitudes, mores, and creeds\nOf two different groups\nAren't so hostile their troops\nRip a country apart and it bleeds.", "id": 19857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Encourage, embolden, uphold,\nAnd support her through troubles untold.\nRaise her spirits up high\u2014\nShe's afraid she might die!\nBuoy her up. That's one terrible cold.", "id": 19858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Entomologists properly claim\nThat insects and bugs aren't the same.\nThe latter have features\nOf blood-sucking creatures,\nSo pierces and bites are their game.", "id": 19859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "How grotesque when he's on the attack,\nUsing humor ironic and black.\nHe makes fun of man's folly,\nLike bombings in Bali,\nAnd jokes about folks using crack.", "id": 19860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Through the screams, I could hear someone say,\n\"Not to worry.  It's all A-OK.\"\nOver Dallas, my theory:\nThe pilot's too cheery\u2014\nThree engines are blazin' away!", "id": 19861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Caligula's horse in its day\nWas a negative force, so they say.\nAnd the reason is, when it\nServed Rome in the Senate,\nThat horse, every time, voted \"neigh.\"", "id": 19862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The canoe is a narrow, light craft\nThat is pointed both forward and aft.\nIf you're stern, dammit, steer\nOr the vessel will veer\nBank to bank, driving everyone daft.", "id": 19863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In Darwinian days, we're assumin'\nWalking tall helped to see danger loomin'.\nA kangaroo'd dare\nMove with arms in the air \u2014\nIt's a biped, and so is a human.", "id": 19864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Applying his perilous pliers,\nMy new orthodontist desires\nTo straighten my molar,\nForeshadowing dolor\nOccasioned by ominous wires.", "id": 19865, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Abcoulomb: an electrical charge\n(Ten coulombs and therefore not large)\nWhich, in copper voltameters,\nMoves tiny diameters\nOf copper (you won't need a barge).", "id": 19866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "I'd been sat by the river all day\nBut the fish were not swimming my way.\nI was not having fun\u2014\nOne small catch would have done\u2014\nSo I packed up my gear in dismay.", "id": 19867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In the dungeon, I came to a door.\nAnd beyond it? I had to explore.\nAs I loosened the catches,\nI could hear some soft scratches.\nThen a flood of large rats crossed the floor.", "id": 19868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Meet my sister!  She's nubile and biddable!\nHer appetite's fierce and formidable!\nShe'll attend to the dreams\nOf whole basketball teams!\n(You believe me?  You're easily kiddable!)", "id": 19869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Throttle jammed, so we're wrapped round a tree,\nBut the airbags have saved you and me.\nThough the windbag behind\n(Your mother)\u2014they'll find\nThat I'd throttled her long before tea.", "id": 19870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Amphipodous, sand-hopping fleas \u2014\nThey can swim in the sea if they please.\nAs their limbs were designed\nWith the shoreline in mind,\nThey can access both ambits with ease.", "id": 19871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Bright candle, slight circle of light\nGlowing small in the shadow of night,\nWhen the chill wind blows quicker\nYour waxy wick flicker\nWill gutter till snuffed out of sight.", "id": 19872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "'Break a leg,' someone hissed from the wings\nAs I swooped across stage, held by strings.\nBut my trident slipped free,\nBroke a Valkyrie's knee;\nNow I know why the fat lady sings.", "id": 19873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Soggy beer mat stops spills spreading far \u2014\nPorous pint-plinth and sponge-paper star,\nGood for mopping up messes\nOr swapping addresses\nWith girls that one meets at the bar.", "id": 19874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "We've twelve cheeses, five hams and much more.\nWe have flavoursome fillings galore.\nWe have eight kinds of bread,\nBut all you want instead\nIs a BLT sandwich, you bore.", "id": 19875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As wastefulness is to economy,\nAnd as black hole to white in astronomy:\nTwo words, each one's meaning\nIs opposite-leaning,\nA relationship known as antonymy.", "id": 19876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Filming scenes, looking down on the room,\nNo one noticed the oncoming doom.\nWhen the boom was extended,\nMore weight than intended\nTipped everything over, ka-boom!", "id": 19877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With a manse overlooking L.A.,\nYou're the sort to support a valet.\nA bellpull will summon\nYour butler to come in\nTo see what you need right away.", "id": 19878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "When abligurition prevails,\nInstead of some fries I'll eat snails.\nI won't care about taste,\nNor the money I'll waste.\nWere they pricey, I'd eat monkey tails.", "id": 19879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke and mephistopheles", "limerick": "An accessory mineral's there\nIn amounts that are tiny and rare.\nSince it's not what you bore\nFor in mineral ore:\nIf it's present or not, you don't care.", "id": 19880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "I have heard bird of Jove means \"an eagle,\"\nA bird that's decidedly regal.\nWhat's called bird of Juno?\nA peacock\u2014now you know.\n(Does Mercury dog mean \"a beagle\"?)", "id": 19881, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Though many a prizefighter goes\nTo the Catskills to train and trade blows,\nA more apt mountain range\nFor this fistic exchange\nIs the one that's pronounced \"poke a nose.\"", "id": 19882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Although Rose of Castile was for real,\nJames Joyce couldn't help but reveal\nThat the opera defines\n(By its name) railway lines\u2014\nOr, in other words, \"rows of cast steel.\"", "id": 19883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Got our franks and our buns, got our beer;\nWeather's fine, coals are glowin' and we're\nGettin' ready to chill,\nEat and drink to our fill\u2014\nA barbecue's great for good cheer!", "id": 19885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "\"Great White Way\"'s got another big night;\nThere's excitement, the crush, all the light!\nGot my ticket and seat,\nLights go dim\u2014oh, so neat!\nThis is Broadway, where stars shine so bright!", "id": 19886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The  Asian pipe snake I would choose\nAs a name that is apt to confuse.\nAh, but make no mistake,\nIt's a true breed of snake\u2014\nNot what Chinatown plumbers might use.", "id": 19887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"There's a hole in the becket, Nan\u2014chuck it?\"\n\"Dear Henry, a becket's no bucket.\nIf you fix the dang bucket,\nThat becket can tuck it\nAway on our way to Nantucket.\"", "id": 19888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Every wildcatter hopes to behold\nThe wild spatter of riches untold.\nThe chatter in camp: it's\nThe lore of the Clampetts\nThat's sold them on striking black gold.", "id": 19889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "1820s discussion went so:\n\"Out of Baltimore, baby, let's go!\"\n\"To Savannah?\" \"No way \u2014\nTo Columbus, I'd say,\nOn the rails of the great B&O.\"", "id": 19890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's a box on four wheels, at its heart,\nThough its power and looks play a part;\nIn my car I can go\nAlong routes I don't know\nAs I look at the GPS chart.", "id": 19891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A Bemba said, \"Let's sail the seas\u2014\nAway! Far from Zambia, please.\"\nThey set off by boat\nOn a very long float,\nAnd wound up as Vietnamese!", "id": 19892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Hungarian Rubik whose cube\nWas a masterpiece watches the tube.\nHe's been viewing TV\nFor so long now that he\nHas become an illiterate boob.", "id": 19893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The chef shouted \"I quit!\" in a huff\nWhen I told him his cream puffs were tough.\nBut desserts must be served,\nSo I'll fill in, unnerved\nAt beating this marshmallow fluff.", "id": 19894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Azariah said, \"Asa, be strong\u2014\nGod is found, and is one, not a throng.\nThough the times now be lawless,\nYour subjects are flawless;\nThey'll kill all who don't come along.\"", "id": 19895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A sentry, imbibling strong rye,\nCast an eye on auld Ai frae his Skye.\nHe was sure MacNun shot\nHim; and falling, he thought:\n\"Ai-yai-yai, I'll eye Ai; ay, for aye...\"", "id": 19896, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The annulose structure of trees\nHelps scientists date things with ease.\nThe rings give the gauge\nTo determine the age,\nAnd plant cellulose makes it a breeze.", "id": 19897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "The tanks blew in the blink of an eye;\nThe inferno then raged wide and high.\nClouds of acrid, grey smoke,\nLike a smothering cloak,\nQuickly blackened the whole of the sky.", "id": 19898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "All those things that went bump in the night\nLikely frightened those children of light.\nLonely fears seemed allayed\nAs they huddled and prayed,\nYet abatement of bumping was slight.", "id": 19899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We hail to the president\u2014chief\u2014\nIn the hope that his tenure be brief:\nThat he'll do little harm,\nThen retire to his farm:\nCincinnatus's civic belief.", "id": 19900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bull, either Barney or Bernie,\nWho fell off of a hospital gurney,\nCan't be off smelling flowers\nDuring bill-a-bull hours.\n(He retained a malpractice attorney.)", "id": 19901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At the birth of poor Bertha, she ailed,\nAnd no remedy tried had availed.\nBaby Bertha soon died,\nBertha's father Seth cried,\nAnd her mother, poor Willa, she wailed.", "id": 19902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "A perspective on history is seen\nUsing isotope carbon 14.\nIt is radioactive,\nWhich makes it attractive\nFor dating all life there has been.", "id": 19903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "A plant hormone once called abscissin\nInstructs autumn leaves to go missin'.\nThey fall when the breeze\nBlows through bushes and trees;\nThere's no cover for lovers a-kissin'.", "id": 19904, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There was an old pirate named Hank:\nWooden leg, wore a patch, and he stank.\nAnd he barked, \"All make way!\nI've a hangin' today,\nAnd me pal's got some gals for the plank!\"", "id": 19905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Judge Jane has a problem concealing\nThe love for a lawyer she's feeling.\nShe views with affection\nHis cries of \"Objection!\"\nAnd agrees when he says he's appealing.", "id": 19906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Do the lumps in your cocoa displease?\nDid your smoothie unevenly freeze?\nGet a beverage whisk,\nAnd with stirring that's brisk\nYou can whip such misfortunes as these.", "id": 19908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Third Witch: Are you sisters insane?\nNot those newts' eyes for dinner again!\nThey're double the trouble,\nAnd the cauldron won't bubble\nIn thunder and lightning and rain.", "id": 19909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Without it a sailor can't tack,\nAnd a boxer can't fall on his back.\nIt's a must for Utrillo;\nA  tent wouldn't billow \u2014\nIt's canvas, the thing they can't lack.", "id": 19910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "It's a thorny old question. Suppose\nThat there's more than just one desert rose.\nIs it cacti said where\nThere's a prickly pair,\nOr plain cactuses? Nobody knows.", "id": 19911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "To capture the reticent grace\nOf a smile on an innocent face,\nYou must draw on an art:\nUse your skill to impart\nLife and spark \u2014 every trace in its place.", "id": 19912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Name your beach, lapped by sea's gentle swell:\nGolden sand on which memories dwell.\nBut on D-Day the sand\nWhere GI's were to land\nWas called Omaha \u2014 one step from hell.", "id": 19915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If you race 'round the world in a yacht,\nYou will sail past this southernmost spot.\nSailors call it The Horn;\nThe Pacific is born\nOn this route, which most clipper ships sought.", "id": 19916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Every morning young Timmy would run\nTo discover what crime had been done.\nEvery wrong he would right\nWith the truth and his might\u2014\nThis crusader? My capable son!", "id": 19917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The high cost of fuel makes me ponder,\n\"How far down the road can I wander?\"\nI'm doing less trekking;\nThese prices are wrecking\nMy budget\u2014I'm not one to squander.", "id": 19918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "At the Cape of St. Vincent's stark land,\nSacred ruins and menhirs still stand.\nWhere the world meets the sea;\nMany thought it to be\nThe end of the earth close at hand.", "id": 19919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Toward our luncheon the cat was approaching.\nOn our space he was clearly encroaching.\nHe had come to examine\nOur servings of salmon,\nWhich instantly he began poaching.", "id": 19920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Gather roses whenever you see 'em,\nGrab your chances and don't ever flee 'em.\nEnjoy each new day\nEre they all pass away:\nThat's the attitude called carpe diem.", "id": 19921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I can alternate both back and forth,\nGoing first to the south, then the north.\nI'll pronounce what I say\nIn a masterful way,\nThen for thpite, I'll try lithping, of courthe.", "id": 19922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "An assembler, quite often, is thrilled\nTo put parts together. He's skilled\nIn making assemblies.\nHe suffers the tremblies\nWhenever he hears the word build.", "id": 19923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "From my voyage, I brought you a trinket\nFilled with water that's brackish. I think it\nIs from a salt lake.\nIf you try to partake,\nThen your stomach might ache, so don't drink it!", "id": 19924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The e-mail has bounced from my blast\nTo the mailing list I have amassed.\nDid each friend of mine change\nHis address? That is strange!\nDon't my pals want to MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!! ?", "id": 19925, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "\"Despite the effect,\" the shrink said,\n\"Of this axe being lodged in his head,\nNo emotion he shows;\nHis affectlessness grows.\"\n\"Could that be,\" I enquired, \"'cos he's dead?\"", "id": 19926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Sound a fanfare for Bath. Tan-ta-ra!\nEnglish city and old Roman Spa,\nAnd a byword for fashion\nTo such as Beau Nash, an'\nJane Austen, who went with Mama!", "id": 19927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The convolvulus, a.k.a. bindweed,\nHeld our rosebushes firmly entwined.  We'd\nUnwind it and spray it,\nTry all ways to slay it,\nIn vain.  It's a won't-be-confined weed.", "id": 19928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "J. Caesar set Rome as his quest.\n\"The die has been cast,\" he expressed.\nWith the Rubicon crossed,\nOther options were tossed\u2014\nTruly, alea iacta iam est.", "id": 19929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In New Zealand this cultivar's bred\nWith a skin tinted green and light red.\nThe crisp Braeburn's a smart\nFruit for pies or a tart,\nBut it's best as a buttery spread.", "id": 19930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A brothel's sole madam's the bawd;\nShe controls, keeping conduct unflawed.\nThe girls look so tawdry;\nTheir language?  Why, bawdry!\nBawdy laughter is heard as they're pawed.", "id": 19931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "\"That backdrop's amazingly real,\"\nSaid the actor in trying to deal\nWith those goats by the cows,\n\"So in taking our bows,\nWill we need to wear butt shields of steel?\"", "id": 19932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "My masseuse was so deft at massage\nThat I asked if she'd live as m\u00e9nage\nSo she'd always be handy,\nWhich  I thought was dandy,\nTill my wife launched a bruising barrage!", "id": 19933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "There's a color that's specially made\nJust for boys, as a gender mark aid.\nIt's a very light blue,\nTouched with green (purple, too).\nBaby blue is the name of this shade.", "id": 19934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "As the mugger accosted his prey,\nHe heard the man shakily say,\n\"Don't come near or I'll shoot.\"\nThen, explosions:  no loot!\n(Car had backfired.  The thief?  Ran away!)", "id": 19935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Though his absence through Sunday was cool,\nUntil Tuesday he splashed in his pool.\nWithout leave first approved,\nHe was fired\u2014boss unmoved\nBy the pleas of the AWOL \"pool fool\"!", "id": 19936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A silk fabric with rich, gold brocade,\nA cloth top in a church's parade,\nOr a structure of stone\nOver altar or throne\u2014\nCall each baldachin, you won't have strayed.", "id": 19937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "After waking, the details were blurry.\nHad my surgeon rushed through in a hurry?\nSaid he, \"You're supine,\nBut your spine's now just fine,\nAnd I sewed my best backstitch, don't worry!\"", "id": 19938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Has the stock market started to tank?\nDo you have some investments to yank?\nWhere to put all that cash?\nIn a bank seems least rash.\n(A firm mattress is not a firm bank!)", "id": 19939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To batten means simply to fatten.\nIt's your bod?  Well, at least take a statin.\nBut a greater offense?\nWealth at others' expense.\n(Yet, I do love my sheets of rich satin.)", "id": 19940, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A Bactrian camel's two lumps\nOn its back make a valley.  My rump's\nSure to fit right between,\nAs the whole Asian scene\nPasses quickly, once over the humps.", "id": 19941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The market that's wildest by far\nIs the famed Oriental bazaar.\nOn its shop-lined packed street\nAre bizarre finds that treat\nBargain hunters to goods without par.", "id": 19942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The badlands are desolate spots\u2014\nBarren ground and worn peaks, a few slots.\nOnce the realtors find out\nThere's new land they can tout,\nThey'll hatch plots for the badlands' best plots!", "id": 19943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Evangeline rode with her beau,\nA Cajun named Joe Thibodeaux,\nIn his boat, a bateau\n(It's flat-bottomed and slow),\nTill he said, \"Yo' a tough ho to row.\"", "id": 19944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When weatherworn sailors tell tales\nOf the treacherous blowings and gales,\nThey oft mention The Cape\nAnd a narrow escape,\nFor Good Hope put that wind in their sails.", "id": 19945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Where Atlantic and Indian blend\nIs at Africa's southernmost end.\nHydrographically speaking\u2014\nThe point you are seeking?\nCape Agulhas (just 'round the last bend).", "id": 19946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Explorers from Portugal named\nThe West African coastline they \"tamed.\"\nCabo Verde's a spot\nWhere the slave trade was hot.\nSimply commerce\u2014that's what they proclaimed.", "id": 19947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When ol' Wile E. set out on a caper\nTo capture that crafty escaper,\nHe would plan his attack\nWith an Acme jet-pack\u2014\nAn efficient coyote misshaper.", "id": 19948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "How far west can you go on dry land?\nThat depends on the land where you stand.\nIt's Cape Blanco, some boast,\nOn the Oregon coast\u2014\nIt's too bad they can't make it expand.", "id": 19949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I just filled up my rig and I'm tapped,\nAnd the gas tank is properly capped,\nIf some jerk tries to suck\nAny fuel from my truck,\nHe'll get nabbed when the cap's trap gets snapped.", "id": 19950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "So obscene, this new  cap on our wages.\n(No more raises?) That truly enrages\nThe worker who's just\nTrying not to go bust.\nDon't be stunned if a walkout he stages.", "id": 19951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "You're not likely to meet any chap\nWho can find himself caught in a scrap\nWith a footballer who\nTried upsetting his brew,\nLike the affable bloke Andy Capp.", "id": 19952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "So you thought writing lims was a snap?\nYou've begun every line with a cap;\nThere's impeccable rhyme;\nAnd your meter's sublime.\nBut here's news for ya buddy: it's crap!", "id": 19953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My sheep must be white for the fair\nBut they're covered in mud, such despair!\nSince their wool can't take bleach,\nHere's a trick that they teach:\nUse bluing; it whitens with flair!", "id": 19954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Break the surface: re-enter that world\nOf the air, where the mysteries that swirled\nUnderwater are jailed\nBy the twilight that's veiled,\nAnd the loftier mysteries unfurled.", "id": 19955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "\"Great Byzantium! City of dreams!\nEvery street paved with gold! How it gleams!\"\nIn a less jaded age,\nThey wrote page after page\nOf this balderdash. Screeds of it. Reams.", "id": 19956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "As Picasso from Lascaux departed,\n'We have done nothing new,' he imparted.\nThis cave art so fine\nWith its pure form and line\nMarks the dawn at which painted art started.", "id": 19957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "More heathen than Greeks and much hairier,\nThe Bulgar invaded the area.\nBulgaric they gave up,\nSlavonic to take up,\nRenaming old Thrace to Bulgaria.", "id": 19958, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I am boiling the malt and the hops.\nLater on, after bubbling stops,\nI'll add yeast to ferment.\nThe result, heaven-sent,\nWill be brewage... and after that, cops.", "id": 19959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I must have done something to peeve her.\n(Where's my spaniel? My golden retriever?)\nMy bird dogs can flush\nAny \"bird\" from the brush.\n(If she doesn't come home, can I leave her?)", "id": 19960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "prionix", "limerick": "It's true I'm a loather and hater\nOf reptiles like cayman and gator.\nWhat caused this aversion?\nWhile on an excursion,\nMy wife, well, a croc went and ate her!", "id": 19961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Ever since I was just two feet tall,\nI have dreamt about playing pro ball.\n I can't quite have my dream,\n But I'm still on the team;\nI'll be benchwarmer starting next fall!", "id": 19962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "He was quite the predictable chap.\nEvery Sunday he'd take a long nap,\nHis plaid driver in place\nOver most of his face\u2014\nThere he sat, my dear Gramps and that cap.", "id": 19963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I am antireform, I admit.\nChange the process and I'll have a fit!\nI most loudly protest\nThat the old way is best,\nPlaying baseball without any mitt.", "id": 19965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Defining barrico's a task\nThat is not what you'd call \"a big ask\".\nYou don't have to beg\nMe to say it's a keg,\nOr, perhaps, I should say a small cask.", "id": 19966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Gail spoke with her mom confidentially:\n\"My husband's a baby, essentially.\nHe takes too much pride\nIn his toys!\"  Mom replied,\n\"He'll age out of that B.S. eventually.\"", "id": 19967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A bisulfide, a compound, possesses\nTwo sulfurs, a chemist assesses.\nCS2's used to shape\nThings like cellophane tape\nAnd the rayon that softens your dresses.", "id": 19968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "We entered the pond for a swim,\nLeft the scum, and scrunched down on the rim.\nI proposed midst old tires,\nBy the light of flies' fires;\nAll the ambiance of an old gym.", "id": 19969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The pamphlet describes a strange cult:\nPolitical yesmen result.\nDon't let it be seen\nBy a lad of thirteen;\nIt ordains a sad future: a dolt.", "id": 19970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I've found a technique not too shoddy.\nI pour her a warm glass of toddy;\nWe sit by the fire,\nNever mention desire;\n10 P.M. she's all over my body.", "id": 19971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I fashioned an airfoil tr\u00e8s slick \u2014\nA boomerang, light, not too thick;\nThen I threw it as hard\nAs I could down the yard,\nBut it didn't come back; it's a stick.", "id": 19972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A duffer named \"Hooker\" Lamarr\nWas accosted: a figure bizarre\nSaid, \"Your scorecards are jokes;\nYou shave too many strokes;\nI'm the bogeyman; cheats won't make par.\"", "id": 19973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At a concert a listener wants\nEntertainment, at least for the nonce.\nThough Borge could play\nClassic music all day,\nHis was comical, par excellence.", "id": 19974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "You'll find backgammon not quite as easy\nAs it looks (for plain fun try Parcheesi).\nThrow his game out of joint\nWith two men on a point;\nSuch a block makes your end game more breezy.", "id": 19975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The needs of plantations were key;\nYou worked hard on his farm 'cross the sea.\nSeven years in his grip\nGuaranteed you the trip.\nBondage gave one the means to be free.", "id": 19976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The architect's specialty wares\nWere designs to attract millionaires.\nBut he'd always insist\nThat a lift should exist,\nAnd consistently drew some blank stairs.", "id": 19977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "My baby, who wants diet latitude,\nDeems pablum the essence of platitude.\nHe rejects fruit puree,\nBut a truffled souffle\nHe wolfs without hint of an attitude.", "id": 19978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though the main-sequence turn-off tells time\nLike an hour-candle, vast and sublime,\nWhere their like have all died,\nThe blue stragglers abide,\nAnomalous, still in their prime.", "id": 19979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "With my chemistry set, my futility\nTo dissolve CO2 caused humility.\nMy crafty old mom got her\nAbsorptiometer\nTo measure the gas solubility.", "id": 19981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I'm all brains, my friend; you are all brawn.\nAll your musculature makes me yawn.\nYou are strong, there's no doubt,\nWhich is why you're cut out\nTo replace me, so you mow the lawn.", "id": 19982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Brompheniramine maleate eases\nThe itching, the hives and the sneezes\nThat allergies cause\nWhen the spring brings its thaws\nAnd the pollens float in on the breezes.", "id": 19983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "There once was a monkey named Nate\nWho could brachiate straight to his mate,\nSwinging hand over hand\nWith his feet off the land,\nBut he can't anymore. He gained weight.", "id": 19984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I'm becoming (or so says my wife) an\nArch-idler, just wasting my life in\nA quest for a rhyme\n(Which takes up all my time)\nFor words that start \"angel-plus-hyphen\".", "id": 19985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A small cameo brooch I'd adore,\nLike the one that my Grandmother wore:\nA silhouette face\nCarved with beauty and grace\u2014\nIt's a shame they're not worn any more.", "id": 19986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Once I heard a cat mewing at me\nFrom a place way up high in a tree.\nWhen I climbed up I found\nThere was no cat around\u2014\n'Twas a catbird I'd climbed there to see!", "id": 19987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The anguinous river flows on\nDown steep rocky mountains and yon...\nIt twists and it turns\nAmid grasses and ferns\u2014\nI awake to its sounds in the dawn.", "id": 19988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My psychiatrist said to me, \"Fran,\nWould you actualise, if you can,\nThe emotions you feel,\nSo I'll know how to deal\nWith the problems you have with your man?\"", "id": 19989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Bulgur wheat is not meat; not a bit.\nVegetarians cry, \"It's a hit!\"\nTry it once, you'll be hooked,\nBut be sure that it's cooked,\nBecause raw it tastes rather like grit.", "id": 19990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Though the auditors tend to begrudge it,\nWhen it comes to the ledger, I fudge it.\nAs my costs always rise,\nJust a couple of lies\nAnd, by magic, I stick to the budget.", "id": 19991, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In this park there's a bench that I seek\nWhenever my outlook is bleak.\nThere I'll sit till the morrow,\nEngulfed by my sorrow,\nAll broken and heartsick and weak.", "id": 19992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "From her balcony, Juliet hissed,\n\"Hey, Montague, dammit, I'm pissed!\nThough our stars may be crossed,\nArt thou totally lost?\nAnd just how many cues hast thou missed?!\"", "id": 19994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Avast!\" bellowed Captain McFig.\n\"I'm the pirate \u2014 and you're a mere pig.\nTo be stealing me rum\nGains a yardarm for some;\nIf you're lucky, three months in the brig!\"", "id": 19995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "Here's a measurement system to learn:\nA star's height (from horizon) discern.\nThat's the altitude biz,\nAnd the azimuth is\nThe angle (from North) that you turn.", "id": 19996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "Greek Agathon's loaned dungarees\nCame back to him torn at the knees.\nHis response with no worries\nOf twitting the Furies:\n\"Euripides, Eumenides.\"", "id": 19997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The molding was lifting, a tad.\nHad to fix it before it went bad.\nA fastener, thin,\nNot a nail, not a pin;\n\"How 'bout this?\" said my son. \"Use a brad!\"", "id": 19998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though tradition says red is the clay,\nIt can also be brown, tan, or gray.\nMolded square, fist-sized thick,\nOven-fired, makes a brick.\nBuild a house out of bricks, it'll stay.", "id": 19999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Back when disco and leisure suits struck,\nWhite appliances made us say, \"Yuck!\"\nSo we tried harvest gold;\nAvocado got sold;\nSomehow almond's the color that stuck.", "id": 20000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This bullfighter's garment is drapeable,\nAnd it's flippable, flappable, shapeable.\nToro thrusts at the cape,\nWhich he cannot escape\nTill he's killed, if the matador's capable.", "id": 20001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "O captan, my captan, I know\nThat without you my crops wouldn't grow.\nYou're the fungicide spray\nThat I need to allay\nAll the woe that brings low what I sow.", "id": 20002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though your hair partly hides it, I fear\nOne can still see your cauliflower ear.\nIt's the prime souvenir\nOf your boxing career,\nBut at least you can hear\u2014CAN'T YOU, DEAR?", "id": 20003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Bottoms up is a phrase you can use\nWhen in Britain, before drinking booze,\nFor it's not about arses,\nBut the bottoms of glarses\u2014\nSo there's really no need to ask, \"Whose?\"", "id": 20004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "Mr. Morse said to Macy's and Gimbel's,\n\"I've invented some dandy new symbols.\nFor example, the 'U'\nIs like anapest. True?\nU should try 'dot-dot-dash' on your timbrels.\"", "id": 20005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Think those 78s don't survive?\nTake the A Train along for a drive.\nA big band's still a thriller.\nIn the mood for Glenn Miller?\nThe Dorseys? The '40s were live!", "id": 20006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An aquarium worker named Gert\nWore an A-line (a style for a skirt).\nWell, Pierre made a beeline\nTo help with her sea lion;\nShe said, \"Get in de line, you old flirt.\"", "id": 20007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Young Goldilocks, 'bout whom you've read,\nHad lain down, when she jumped up and said:\n\"It's set me to giggling,\nMy mattress is wriggling,\nSome bawdy's been jiggling my bed!\"", "id": 20008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the Labrador lifestyle he'd chosen,\nClarence Birdseye went sticking his nose in\u2014\nWhy'd food there taste finer\nThan home in a diner?\nBack in Brooklyn, he cooked up \"flash-frozen\".", "id": 20009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If you hear people talk of benzine,\nThen benzene might well be what they mean.\nOr it could be they've found\nOther solvents around,\nAnd it may be just plain gasoline*.", "id": 20010, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That canary just barely began\nStealing cans from a cannery's van.\nIn a can, she can ferry\nHer berries and cherry\nAs cheap as a cannery can.", "id": 20011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In dissecting my mind's aberration\nI've uncovered a simple salvation.\nPersonality splits:\nAt the job one mind sits;\nTo the beach goes its mate \u2014 bilocation!", "id": 20012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A choirman sang out a carol,\nClad in naught but an old whiskey barrel;\nHe'd thought his appearance\nMight earn some endearance,\nBut a drunk carried off his apparel.", "id": 20013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Sales are brisk and the management's thrilled,\nBut we've orders that go unfulfilled;\nThe schedules all say\nThat today is the day\nWe begin on our quarterly build.", "id": 20014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Marble domes one can see from a mile;\nMassive works of mosaical tile;\nI descried no relief\nIn its look on my brief\nIntroduction to Byzantine style.", "id": 20015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Once a Beefeater's duties begin\nOn each day, he won't smile, he won't grin;\nHe won't lose his grip\nOn his stiff upper lip.\n(But at night he'll do right by his gin.)", "id": 20016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With technologies splitting off midstream,\nIt's every computerized kid's dream\nTo buzz round the world\nOn a network empearled,\nWith bazillions of words all in bitstream.", "id": 20017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Feed the poor!\" says our club, more or less,\nBut some bylaws could aid our largesse.\nOur short constitution\nDefines distribution\nBut makes \"destitution\" a guess.", "id": 20018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It might be a five or thirteen,\nOr an integer somewhere between.\nThe numbers we count\nTo describe an amount\nAre the cardinals, values pristine.", "id": 20019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Elmer Fudd saw his prey, went to grab it,\nThen said, \"Hey, I don't think yaw a wabbit.\nThough yaw awfuwwy funny\nDwessed up wike a bunny,\nYaw in the wawng stowy, dagnabbit!\"", "id": 20020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"If we don't get our money,\" they yell,\n\"By the end of the month, there'll be hell!\"\nBut the mail could be slow\nOr delayed \u2014 they won't know,\nSo a backdated check should work well.", "id": 20021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A fine accent to keep your neck warm'll\nSuggest that you're dressed for a formal.\nFor some men, four-in-hand\nBespeaks taste rather bland;\nThey consider a bow tie as normal.", "id": 20022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I was given a vest by my friend \u2014\nA bolero of dark woolen blend.\nI wore it to dance\n(A bolero, by chance).\nIt unraveled before we could end.", "id": 20023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Being blind isn't weak; it's not frail;\nSimple tasks, though, can be a travail.\nThe blind can read what's\nOn a page by the dots\nOf the alphabet named after Braille.", "id": 20024, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A good metal needs help to stay good,\nTo achieve the performance it should.\nBichromate's real tough\n(Dichromate \u2014 same stuff);\nIt's a coating (its mate's understood).", "id": 20025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Adolescence, I think, was my prime\u2014\nHanging out with my partners in crime.\nBig Vincenzo and Horst'll\nRemember that borstal\n(Reform school) in which we did time.", "id": 20026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Arm candy's not something you'd eat,\nThough for sure she's a sight that's quite sweet.\nWith this girl on your arm\nYou will charm with no qualm,\nAnd your night on the town is complete.", "id": 20027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "They are shiny, and silver or gold;\n'Neath their surface a secret they hold.\nLaser light (that could blind)\nIn the player is shined\nOn the discs; hear their music unfold.", "id": 20028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "O, woman who walked through the door,\nHow I love you! It's you I adore,\nFrom the hair on your head\nTo your shoes fiery red;\nStill, the stuff in between I like more.", "id": 20029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "On a stage in my store was a tank\nFull of beer, with a spout and a crank.\nIn a small auditorium\nIn the emporium\nPeople could watch as we drank.", "id": 20030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bartlett's the name of a pear\nSold by one Enoch Bartlett with flair,\nThus acquiring his name\n(Europe's Williams\u2014the same)\nIn the U.S., should anyone care.", "id": 20031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "To control chain reactions, your odds\nWill improve if you've cadmium rods\nIn your fission reactor.\nTheir lack is a factor\nIn screams of \"A meltdown! Ye Gods!\"", "id": 20032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "He's a catbird expressing his thrills\nFar above, in the treetop; he trills\nWith an interspersed \"Mew.\"\nFrom his catbird seat view,\nHe can see any aspect he wills.", "id": 20033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In Burma, for rubies they pion,\nAnd for sapphires that Buddha may lie on.\nTo solve this conundrum:\nBright gems of corundum\nAre sluiced from clay soil known as byon.", "id": 20034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Many camp meeting stories I've told.\nThe preachers were fiery and bold!\nFriends and family were there\u2014\nRound the campfire we'd share\nAnd sing songs 'til the night grew too cold.", "id": 20035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The carollers sing \"Silent Night\"\nAnd then \"Joy to the World,\" clear and bright.\nThe chestnuts are roasting.\nMarshmallows are toasting\nBy fires on this cold Christmas night.", "id": 20036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "With language, let's play a fun game\nTwisting titles, one letter per name.\n\"British Airways,\" we'd say,\n\"Could become Brutish A.\"\n\"Our service is bestial!\" they'd claim.", "id": 20037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With punctata, I'm sure that no kid'll\nSay this acne is much of a riddle.\nIn each open sore\nThat you care to explore,\nThere's a blackhead stuck right in the middle.", "id": 20038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "I huff and I puff and I pant\nAs I slip and I slide on this slant.\nThis structure is built\nWith a permanent tilt;\nSo don't ask me to straighten\u2014I cant.", "id": 20039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "A capital letter's not a,\nAnd not m, i, l, f,  o or k.\nIt's an upper-case Q,\nA, B, X, P or U,\nOr M, I, L, F, O or K.", "id": 20040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and jexia", "limerick": "The adzuki's a smallish red bean\nOften cooked with in Asian cuisine.\nIt's used in sweet soups,\nAnd for ice cream in scoops,\nOr for tea. And it helps me stay lean!", "id": 20041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A humorist fervently guards\nAll his jokes \u2014 there are none he discards,\nAnd he hoards them away\nFor the rainiest day\nBecause sometimes, fun's not in the cards.", "id": 20042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "That's not camping; and here are the clues:\nThere's no tent, and the bed that you use\nIs at least thirty feet\u2014\nA deluxe rolling suite:\nLet's try landlubbers' luxury cruise.", "id": 20043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "By national instinct we vie\nTo buy national home-grown supply.\nBut the new one-world order\nMoves products cross-border;\nBinational neighbors thus buy.", "id": 20044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Biorhythm's a cyclical state\nThat determines on some given date\nWhether any proclivity\nBursts into activity,\nOr spirit begins to abate.", "id": 20045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It seemed right, at the time, that I thank her;\nBut as it turned out, I should spank her.\nIn a coupla days more\nI developed a sore \u2014\nSaid the doc, \"That's a pretty mean canker.\"", "id": 20046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An inveterate pothead named Nick\nBought a kilo of grass (that's a \"brick\").\nHis dog found his stash,\nAte the pot and some hash;\nIf he ever comes down he'll feel sick.", "id": 20047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's not baubles and bangles that rate;\nIt's your family and friends, and your mate.\nNo win in the lottery,\nJust fine camaraderie\nWill get you through life feeling great.", "id": 20048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Little Sam is a helluva biker,\nLights us up like a match on a striker.\nWhen the Harley goes \"Vrooooom!\"\nBetter give up some room \u2014\nWhich we do, 'cause we all really like her.", "id": 20049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When the membership starts to grow strong\n(Which is what you'd conceived all along),\nThe cadre, or core,\nWill assist you before\nAll the rookies do things that go wrong.", "id": 20050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A barkeep by name of Kassarjian\nRuns his pub on a very tight margin.\nHe improves things, he thinks,\nServing watered-down drinks.\nGo next door; it's no bargain, his bar gin.", "id": 20051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "In college, the classes caused dread,\nSo I spent eight semesters abed.\nI showed minimal moxie,\nTook courses by proxy:\nIn absentia, became A.B.Ed.", "id": 20052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A banana republic's control\nBy a despot is taking its toll\nOn those picking the fruit\nWhile he's piling up loot\nFrom Del Monte, Chiquita, and Dole.", "id": 20053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With a score of 300, you've bowled\nSomething perfect\u2014a game to behold.\nOverhead on the screen\nThere's an X to be seen\nFor the strike from each ball that you rolled.", "id": 20054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The universe started, they say,\nWith a cosmic explosion one day.\nThe Big Bang is a theory\nWhose name makes me leery\nOf double entendres at play.", "id": 20055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Big Crunch is a future event\nIn which matter collapses\u2014intent\nOn regaining the state\nThat preceded the great\nFirst explosion. (There's time to repent!)", "id": 20056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"It's karate your children should learn,\"\nSays my buddy, a black belt named Verne.\n\"Martial arts may be key,\nBut the classes ain't free,\"\nCounters me (with no money to burn).", "id": 20057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Fernando the Bull said adieu\nTo his species, deciding to woo\nAn attractive young sheep\nOwned by Little Bo Peep,\nWho surprised him with: \"Bully for ewe!\"", "id": 20058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a cruise up the Yangtze, evasion\nCan often succeed where persuasion\nHas failed to secure\nOne a bunk on the tour:\nI inveigled the berth of an Asian.", "id": 20059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The verb should be take and not bring\nWhen discussing conveying a thing\nThat is moving away\nFrom the speaker; so hey,\nWould you take her (not bring her) this ring?", "id": 20060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're wishing an actor good luck,\nBreak a leg is the phrase that has stuck.\nAncient Greeks used this trick\nOn their gods, who were quick\nTo send fortune when accidents struck.", "id": 20061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After growing as big as a barge,\nTo the Weight Watcher meetings I charge.\nThough I drop a full size,\nOn the whole\u2014no surprise\u2014\nI am still, by and large, buyin' large.", "id": 20062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The sides above deck on a ship\nAre the bulwarks, which offer a grip\nFor the tipplers on board\nWho are out of their gourd\nOn the rum that was stored for the trip.", "id": 20063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He was first in the Derby\u2014so fast!\nIn the Preakness he'd not be surpassed;\nBut he broke from the gate,\nSnapped a leg, and 'twas fate\nThat this race became Barbaro's last.", "id": 20064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "During Super Bowl halftime, a rube\nIs enjoying the show on the tube,\nWhen a wardrobe malfunction\n(Devoid of compunction\nBy Janet) exposes a boob!", "id": 20065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Vermont, there's a maiden named Marian\nWho putters with stoneware and Parian.\nHer Bennington graces\nMost pottery places;\nHer face is on vases they're carryin'.", "id": 20066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Start with white, move to yellow, then green.\nLearn your katas and keep your nose clean.\nMind your sensei (don't clown!)\nAnd your belt will be brown.\nNext comes black: you're a kicking machine!", "id": 20067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've been trying to open a cask,\nBut it's proving a difficult task.\nSo I'll bang on it hard,\nBung it up in the yard,\nRip the bung out, and fill up my flask.", "id": 20068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This area's humus is rich\u2014\nCheck the earth and the dirt in this ditch.\nThe land here is known\nAs a black belt\u2014a zone\nWhere the loam can be darker than pitch.", "id": 20069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Morey Amsterdam? Oh, how he'd glory\nDropping trou just to perk up a story:\nWhen his moon hit the eye\nLike a big pizza pie,\nEvery comic knew why\u2014that's our Morey!", "id": 20070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "New York has a bridge of renown\nIn the borough of Brooklyn; but down\nIn DC it's been dissed\nBy the monument list.\nNot an icon? Hey, get outta town!", "id": 20071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some Americans seem to resist\nThe bicultural trends that exist\nIn their country\u2014like Spanish\nRefusing to vanish.\n\u00a1Caramba! These Anglos are pissed.", "id": 20072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My kids made me feel like a boob,\nSo I purchased a book on the cube.\nAfter reading each page,\nI found Pac-Man the rage.\nThere went $3.99 down the tube.", "id": 20073, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Sheer hunger drives Alice to look\nIn the Wonderland recipe book\nFor some edible fare.\nLike White Rabbit? March Hare?\nNo, it's soup (the Mock Turtle) she'll cook.", "id": 20074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Loggers level and buffer the ground\nOn the lines where the trees will be downed.\nEarth that's bedded is flatter,\nSo timber won't shatter,\nThus making for wood that is sound.", "id": 20075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My robot's A.I. blows away\nAny battlebot running today.\nI'm a techie whose life's\nSo absorbed that my wife's\nGot an itch only droids can allay.", "id": 20076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's rubber and features a zipper\nThat runs down its length; and the shipper\nIs caught by surprise\nBy the movements and cries:\nIn this body bag lies something chipper!", "id": 20077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Local commerce drops off with the wait,\nFor we still can't drive over the strait.\nOur council, myopic,\nHas battered this topic;\nIt's time to abridge the debate.", "id": 20078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Before priming his canvas, LePew\nDoodled stripings of black and dark blue.\nThen he painted in oils.\nBy what's hidden, time spoils:\nNow his doodles are seen, bleeding through.", "id": 20079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Row on row, on the pipe racks and shelves,\nDenim waits as the weary mom delves\nThrough its indigo stacks,\nVests and jackets and slacks:\nBuying blue jeans her kids pick, themselves.", "id": 20080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The economy's looking quite boomy,\nWith scope for investment that's roomy.\nBut I chose to sell short\nWhen I ought to have bought,\nAnd that's why I'm looking so gloomy.", "id": 20081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Those things that you take when you roam\u2014\nCreams, liquids and gels, shaving foam:\nNow airline security\nWill question their purity!\nI'm leaving my toothpaste at home.", "id": 20082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are shortish and powerful necks\nOn the men at security checks.\nWhat their bull necks imply\nIs, when passengers fly,\nThey'll be herded and cowed till they're wrecks.", "id": 20083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Watching matadors swagger and spring\nIn Seville at a bullfighting ring,\nWith their waving of capes\nAnd athletic escapes,\nI'm amazed that I feel . . . not a thing.", "id": 20084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You'll see blackthorns round each lovely bend\nIf you cruise England's waterways, friend.\nThough their sour little plums,\nOn their own, wrinkle gums,\nIn sloe gin they're a heavenly blend.", "id": 20085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "David Beckham has earned lots of fame\nSince he first started playing his game,\nAnd great bundles of cash\nThat he keeps in a stash\nTo support his four kids and posh dame.", "id": 20086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's bright orange you say? Who'd have thought...\nAnd once egg-shaped as well, you report.\nAfter crashes or shocks\nThey will hunt the black box\nSo that failures and faults can be caught.", "id": 20087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If they're growing up close, I've a hunch\nThat a cluster of things is a bunch\u2014\nLike grapes on the vine\n'Til they're turned into wine\nTo be served with fine food for my lunch.", "id": 20088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Addictionology studies the drugs\nIllegally used by some thugs.\nThings like crack, speed and coke\nAnd the hash that they smoke\u2014\nWhat effect do these have on their mugs?", "id": 20089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "It's tough to eat just one biscotto\nWith the latte you sip in some grotto.\nThe lure of this cookie\nCan make you play hooky\nAnd cruise the caff\u00e8s in your auto.", "id": 20090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "An amphibium's strictly pass\u00e9.\nBut the animal's not gone away:\nIt still does what it oughter\nOn land or in water.\nIt's just that the word's d\u00e9mod\u00e9.", "id": 20091, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our Congress has gotten so brash\nThat it hardly makes much of a splash\nWhen some pork-barrel bill\nThat they've passed on the Hill\nHas us shelling out barrels of cash.", "id": 20092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Could a horseman who's dreadful' unnerving\nStay on course, straight ahead, and unswerving,\nIf he hadn't a head,\nBut wore pumpkins instead\n(Like that story by Washington Irving)?", "id": 20093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a billy goat dated a filly,\nAnd a mare, and an ass, willy-nilly,\nHe had seemed to aspire\nTo becoming the sire\nOf a unicorn. (Wasn't that silly?)", "id": 20094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Harmonious music is poky,\nCompared to a polka that's hokey.\nAccordantly, braying\nAccordion playing\nAccompanies bad karaoke.", "id": 20095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Are you destined to dig in a ditch,\nOr is happenstance keeping you rich?\nOnce you get what you've got,\nYou're a \"have\" or \"have-not\":\nPrivate ownership's great social glitch.", "id": 20096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The billiard balls carved in the past\nOut of ivory leave me aghast,\nSo the ones in my closets\nWere formed  from composites\nLike bonzoline, pressed and not cast.", "id": 20097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When boundedness questions arise,\nThey concern theoretical size:\nIf it goes on forever,\nAnd terminates never,\nIt's boundless\u2014our clever surmise!", "id": 20098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A howler out prowling for fowl\nWith a growl caught an owl in a towel.\nThis alouatte monkey,\nFoul-smelling and funky,\nWore the cowl of a monk with a scowl.", "id": 20099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What do musical fishermen get\nFrom the surf when they first cast a net?\nCan they pull from the swells\nClapping ivory shells\nFor a musical instrument set?", "id": 20100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "If you've got bulky goods to convey,\nYou should visit a cartwright today.\nHe knows all about carts\nAnd their various parts,\nAnd can make you a cart right away.", "id": 20101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When sated, our cat would sprawl flat\nIn the sun by the wall, and with that\nWould announce to us all\nThat if vermin should call\nShe would rather not maul 'em, so scat.", "id": 20102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I'm a hayseed, an' mighty proud of it;\nAny man disagrees, he can shove it.\nI kin grow my own straw\nTo replace homegrown chaw;\nThese here boonies 'smy home, an' I love it.", "id": 20104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Manuel undertook to corral\nSome banditos to \"take\" the canal.\nBut the government got\nPungent wind of this plot\nAnd proceeded to thwart the cabal.", "id": 20106, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Up at Amtrak they've got a nice fella\nWho will swear that performance is stella.\nFrom D.C. to Beantown\nAnd each in-between town,\nThey're sure that this train is Acela.", "id": 20107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "For a light in the night or the vapor,\nSet a match to a twisted-up paper.\nBut short life detracts,\nSo with wick and with wax\nMake a candle, a tea light, or taper.", "id": 20108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "All those insults the players withstood;\nStill they played the best baseball they could.\nBut O'Malley, that traitor,\nKilled Brooklyn's the-ater,\nDem Bums moved to L.A. for good.", "id": 20109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "She's as nervous as nervous can be \u2014\nThe audition gave no guarantee.\nShe's awaiting the callback,\nAfraid she will fall back\nTo waitressing tables for me.", "id": 20110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Each morning I get up quite early.\nAt that moment you'll find me quite surly,\n'Til, coffee in hand,\nOn the front porch I land\nDrawing smoke from my pipeful of burley.", "id": 20111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Fuddled lust for the gals is disturbin',\nBut imbibin' he won't soon be curbin'.\nWhat makes him so frisky\nIs Tennessee whiskey\n(Or Kentucky-made premium bourbon).", "id": 20112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "These are catclaws: the prickly plants\nThat are often the cause of my rants.\nLike the claws of a feline,\nTheir thorns make a beeline\nFor mischief. They stick to my pants.", "id": 20113, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "More than meat, fish or chicken, or greens,\nThe man in my life enjoys beans\u2014\nNot the string or the wax kind,\nThe gives-gas-attacks kind.\nHe no longer fits in his jeans.", "id": 20114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "That officer's manner is tacky,\nA disgrace to the cut of his khaki;\nFor promotions to earn 'll\nNose up to the colonel \u2014\nA butt-kissing, bootlicking lackey.", "id": 20115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The band started playing \"La Bamba\"\nSo I kicked up a passionate samba.\nMy girlfriend said, \"Oy!\nThat's a cha-cha, old boy!\nDinchu never take dance? Ai, caramba!\"", "id": 20116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A birdbath is apt to befuddle\nA bird that might land to demuddle.\nMost often, I think,\nBirds will stop there to drink;\nBut for bathing, they'll go to a puddle.", "id": 20117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Got a tent set up under a tree,\nSo serene, just my sweetheart and me.\nTo make everything spiffy,\nI need a  real biffy\u2014\nWhere does he expect me to pee?", "id": 20118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Once a thief picked a sorcerer's pocket\nFor his wand 'cause he thought he could hock it,\nBut a curse set to trammel\nIn pellucid enamel\nTurned him into basse-taille in a locket.", "id": 20119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "Some Greeks and Egyptians were spoiled\nAnd they wore their hair scented and oiled.\nTheir unguents of spice\nWould be kept in a nice\nAlabastron, bejewelled and foiled.", "id": 20120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "The causeless young rebel, James Dean,\nWas an angst-ridden star of the screen.\nBut his death wasn't causeless:\nA witness said, pauseless,\n\"The speed that he reached was obscene!\"", "id": 20121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "\"Campanology really is swell!\"\nQuasimodo, the hunchback, would yell.\nEsmerelda's reply:\n\"Campanology? My,\nA big word.  And it sure rings a bell.\"", "id": 20122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker and SheilaB", "limerick": "After sit-ups my tum needs a rub\nAnd a soak in a hot water tub\u2014\nNot quite to a boil\u2014\nAnd then wintergreen oil\nBesmears all my aches to a stub.", "id": 20123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A black-humored Irishman, Pat,\nWill perform at the drop of a hat.\nHe prefers doing wakes\n'Cause the corpse never takes\nMuch offense when Pat's patter falls flat.", "id": 20124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A butt is a bank or a mound\nBehind targets to catch every round.\nBut the slug I just shot\nNow resides in a spot\n(Neath my foot) a few feet in the ground.", "id": 20125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He brawnily shoved me aside,\nAnd he claimed he'd be tanning my hide,\nBut this muscle-bound dope\nDidn't notice my rope.\nNow he's lying there fit to be tied.", "id": 20126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mean double agent who'd doled\nOut abuse went on leave, so I'm told.\nBut this bad-mouther yearned\nFor his job and returned.\nHe's the spy who came in from the scold.", "id": 20127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anticipation is torture, they say.\nJust ask waterrocks, in the U.K.\nLike most young adults,\nShe awaits the results\nOf her GCSEs, out today.", "id": 20128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "\"Days of Our Lives\" sealed my fate:\nPanicked gasping and racing heart rate.\nThough the story enthralled\nMe, alas, I recalled\nMy amnesiphobia too late.", "id": 20129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "After color exposures are done,\nSend for processing (C-41).\nGet the negatives back.\nThen you ask, why so black?\n(On the dashboard, they baked in the sun.)", "id": 20130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Long ago, at my grandpappy's knee,\nI was taught how to program in C.\nThen it grew. C++\nTaught me mostly to cuss.\nNow I bleed from C#-edged debris.", "id": 20131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Cook a calf's foot for hours; you've got\nA cold jelly I loathe a whole lot.\nSaid to cure some folks' ills\n(Though I much prefer pills),\nThis aspic's despicable rot.", "id": 20132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Crunching chips through her moist bee-stung lips,\nAngie quips, \"Why's this script set at Scripps?\"\n\"Snip the Crips with the whips,\"\nBrad adds. \"Love the eclipse\u2014\nAnd the cave where it drips when she strips.\"", "id": 20133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When a bumblebee vibrates its wings,\u00a0\nIt sonicates, shivering those things\u00a0\nTill the pollen shakes free.\u00a0\nPollination (buzz), see,\nAlso keeps bees too busy for stings.", "id": 20134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For troops far from home, a BX\nSupplies snackfood and books, but when next\nTo some unfriendly towns,\nNearby sounds can be rounds\nOf attacks\u2014so be quick writing checks.", "id": 20135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Paddy's accent is thicker than stew\u2014\nI just can't understand him; can you?\nHis thick Irish brogue\nHas gone quite out of vogue,\nBut he simply won't spit out that shoe!", "id": 20136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Shi'ites who grieve for Hossein,\nWho was martyred on Karbala's plain,\nObserve Arbayeen yearly\nAnd some still pay dearly,\nSince Sunnis remain Shi'ites' bane.", "id": 20137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I am shocked and quite bent out of shape;\nMy jaw's dropped; my mouth's  hanging agape.\nThese deep bites, you contend\nAre mere marks of a friend?\nI don't think so, Count Vlad\u2014here's your cape.", "id": 20138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For four hundred years, people called\nThe city Bombay; islands sprawled\nOff India's coast.\nNow, of Mumbai they boast;\nThen they renamed Madras. I'm appalled!", "id": 20139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Now it's time to create MP3s,\nI discover that all my CDs,\nAlthough discs, aren't compact\nWhen they're vertically stacked\nIn their hundreds. Please, nobody sneeze.", "id": 20140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Deterrence through balance of power\nSeems a better idea by the hour,\nSince balance of terror\nIs risky, and error\nWill bar peace from chances to flower.", "id": 20141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For a paper on subtext I'll read\nAn old novel that's called Adam Bede.\nBut sweat beads on my brow\nSince this paper's due now,\nAnd ten pages it's got to exceed.", "id": 20143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bluebell II is a cat I adore.\nShe's been with me for ten years or more,\nAnd she sleeps on my bed\n(At the foot, not the head),\nBut she never complains when I snore.", "id": 20144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When they listen, her speech sounds rhetorical.\nHer assertions all seem categorical;\nBut they can't figure out\nWhat she's talking about.\nShe is Delphi's notorious oracle.", "id": 20145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "Loving everything cakey, I'll go\nInto bakeries, train as a pro.\nIt's a difficult art\nWith a 4 a.m. start,\nBut I hear that they make lots of dough.", "id": 20146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Diane Cephalon said that her brain\nHad incurred a significant sprain:\nEvery time that she sneezed,\nHer betweenbrain was squeezed\nBy her brainstem and cortex. The pain!", "id": 20147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Shacking up with Darlene without benefit\nOf clergy, I made Auntie Jenna fit\nTo be tied, and she said\nThat the Lord wants us wed.\nIt's enough to give Barbie and Ken a fit.", "id": 20148, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Where legal enforcement is slim,\nAn armed band may rob you. Less grim\nAre these aids to natation:\nBuoyed up by inflation,\nGood arm bands can help you to swim.", "id": 20149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Charlemagne had a nervous archminister\nWhose staff found him sullen and sinister;\nHis mood was improved\nWhen he had them removed\nAnd their jobs relocated to Finist\u00e8re.", "id": 20150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Cuba, a tease known as Anna\nIs eating a yellow banana.\nThat's a fruit with appeal\n(A lascivious meal!).\nAll the men drive with zeal to Havana.", "id": 20151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Years on horseback have left his legs bent.\n\"Which leg for which boot?\" he'd lament.\nTie some ribbons? That's bright!\nGreen for left, red for right.\nNow the bowlegged cowboy's content.", "id": 20152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Our parties could leave you aghast;\nWe all drank like each day was our last.\nNow I've heard the Big Bang\nWas a helluva thang \u2014\nNot compared to our blasts from the past.", "id": 20153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though I'm wooing with sweetness and suasion,\nMy wife takes the path of evasion.\nSo I know a priori\nThere'll be no amore.\n(The gist of my judgment is Bayesian.)", "id": 20154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes and SheilaB", "limerick": "O captan, mercaptan, I dread\nWhat I'll find when your stink fills my head.\nAdding thiol to gas\nIs a pain in the ass\nBut far better than ending up dead.", "id": 20155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There's a month known as anomalistic.\nMy astronomy prof feels sadistic,\nAnd ad nauseam proves\nHow the perigee moves.\nThank the Lord, it's not relativistic!", "id": 20156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Agrostology taxa abound;\nNot all grasses are jointed, I've found.\nIf they're smooth, but have edges,\nThose edges mean sedges,\nWhile reed stems, cut crosswise, are round.", "id": 20157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Although antispam sounds like it means\nThat we don't like canned \"meat\" in cuisines,\nIt describes helpful tools\nThat route email from fools\nTo our trash cans instead of our screens.", "id": 20158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "A belligerent Ankylosaurus\nConked his dinosaur wife, known as Doris.\nHe did not go to jail,\nBut he lost his knobbed tail\nIn the settlement reached through divor-us.", "id": 20159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "The horseracing gates are not set,\nBut as always, I'm placing my bet.\nI don't care where they start;\nIt's an ante-post art\n(Never mind that I haven't won yet).", "id": 20160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "A Brachiosaurus named Marge\nMade a brash, temerarious charge:\n\"I'm the biggest there is\nIn the dinosaur biz.\"\nSorry, Marge. There are others more large.", "id": 20161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Go to Aalsmeer to bask in the biz\nOf a bloom auction\u2014biggest there is!\nHere's some friendly advice:\nOnce you bid, that's the price!\nIf some guy bids before you, they're his.", "id": 20162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "With a set of raised dots, Helen Keller\nCould read with her fingers. How stellar!\nHer heart might just fail\nIf she knew there was braille\nOn machines at the bank's drive-thru teller.", "id": 20163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Louisa May Alcott was brimmin'\nWith stories about Little Women.\nWhen she wrote as A. Barnard,\nAdult praise was garnered\nFor tales wild as unripe persimmon.", "id": 20164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To the null device I have just sent\nAll my output. Who knows where it went?\nYou could say that I've stuck it\nInto the bit bucket.\nIt's gone now, one hundred percent.", "id": 20165, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Achromatosis is causing my skin\nTo be pale, so you see veins within.\nVisine can't disguise\nOr de-redden my eyes,\nAnd the Pillsbury Doughboy's my twin.", "id": 20166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Acetylcysteine's a good drug to clear\nOut the mucus from lungs, when severe.\nJust inhale some of this\nFor some free-breathing bliss,\nAnd we'll cheer that you're here one more year.", "id": 20167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Hyperventilate once and you'll know\nWhat acarbia's like, Uncle Joe.\nIf your blood CO2\nGets much lower, then you\nMight be needing a pint of type O.", "id": 20168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "\"You're the greatest!\" I said to my boss.\n\"And superlatives?  I'm at a loss!\"\n\"You're so blattoid!\" I cried,\n\"And I never have lied!\"\nLike a roach! (Am I getting across?)", "id": 20169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Poor Adam was feeling quite cross.\nHe'd been tempted with fruit by \"the boss.\"\n\"Hey, Eve, please take note\nThat it's stuck in my throat.\nThe next time I'll have applesauce.\"", "id": 20170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If you're learning to play the bass viol,\nYou'll have to get into the style\nOf composer Marais.\nWow, he's fiendish to play\nOn six strings, with a bow! But worthwhile.", "id": 20171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With wisdom and custom implanted,\nHebrew blessings, brachot, must be chanted.\nOver bread, over wine,\nEach bracha, 'fore we dine,\nHelps avoid taking good things for granted.", "id": 20172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When attacked by an Africanized bee,\nSam stood startled, then started to flee.\nThe bee's mates joined the fun\nAnd when they were done,\nSam, swollen, appeared on TV.", "id": 20173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "On the seat of the Levi's you buy\nAre back pockets; now, I'll tell you why\nThey have arcuate stitching:\nOnce, lining enriching\nThe pockets existed\u2014no lie!", "id": 20174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A brown betty or buckle or grunt\nIs a fruit dessert; now I'll be blunt:\nThough the fruit parts are great,\nIf you're struggling with weight,\nSkip the toppings (though chefs take affront).", "id": 20175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Said a stripper, \"Tonight, I won't doff any\nMore clothing. I just won't take off any!\nIt's those lecherous louts\nAnd their ear-splitting shouts!\nI can't work around all this cacophony!\"", "id": 20176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Benzaldehyde: almondy smell\nIs a thing that this ring can do well.\nIt's a benzene, you know,\nWith attached CHO\u2014\nShould you drink it, you might live to tell.", "id": 20178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I appreciate what your intent is:\nSending Junior to Harvard.  His bent is\nNot studious. Rate\nHis IQ.  Eighty-eight?\nI'm afraid he's just not campus mentis.", "id": 20179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Castrati, a long time ago,\nSang in opera, as most of us know.\nTheir high voices won fame\nAnd great public acclaim.\nThey were perfect (except down below).", "id": 20180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Catskills, the summer resorts\nServed New Yorkers in swimsuits and shorts.\nYoung comedians earned\nModest wages and learned\nTo amuse Mr. Katz and Miss Schwartz.", "id": 20181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A carpet tack's really a bore.\nIt keeps carpeting fixed to the floor,\nSo you won't trip and fall\nOn the carpet.  That's all!\n(Do we really want anything more?)", "id": 20182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said the Bedouin chief with a smile,\n\"Cross the desert? A terrible trial!\nIf you travel by truck\nYou are sure to get stuck\u2014\nFor a  camel you'd then walk a mile!\"", "id": 20183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The lion was limping, looked bad,\nCouldn't eat all his meat; that was sad.\nSaid the vet, \"It's no joke,\nAs it might be a stroke.\"\nWould a CAT scan reveal what he had?", "id": 20184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Take espresso\u2014not much, just a shot.\nAdd some milk that's been steamed 'til it's hot.\nIt's the drink that inspires,\nNamed for Capuchin friars\u2014\nCappuccino\u2014that brew hits the spot!", "id": 20185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When you camp with my dad, there's a list\u2014\nHow to set up your camp\u2014here's the gist:\nPitch the tent, dig latrine,\nDodge K.P. (it's routine),\nWatch the sunset, on that he'll insist.", "id": 20186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "They're enamored, but what does she call him?\n(Distinctions like this just appall him.)\nIs he boyfriend or lover\nOr beau? Undercover,\nThey hide so her husband won't maul him.", "id": 20187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Whatever Walt says, I won't hear\nSince his \"blah blah blah\" goes in one ear\nAnd as swiftly flies out\nAs the bargains, no doubt,\nFrom the Wal-Mart where Walt buys his gear.", "id": 20188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Municipal government's goal\nWas efficiency; boards of control,\nIt was thought, would enable\nDecisive and stable\nDecrees on behalf of the whole.", "id": 20189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"I really do think you should join, Ted,\"\nSaid Fred. \"In our sect, we're anointed\nWith Burgundy wine\nEvery evening at nine.\nDon't be late, since that hour is appointed.\"", "id": 20190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On fishmongers' placards they scrawl it:\n\"Six billard a shilling.\" My wallet\nOf tuppence bereft,\nWith a coal fish I'm left:\nIt's a yearling (a billet, they call it).", "id": 20191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The drawings and photos extend\nTo the edge of the page, my good friend;\nAnd these bleed cuts are why\nI can never descry\nAll the notes at the sides that you've penned.", "id": 20192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "With his bow arm atilt by his bass,\nHe was ready to play, once his place\nOn the score had been found.\nBut confound it!  No sound,\nSince his bass was shut up in its case.", "id": 20193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A landlubber wouldn't know how\nTo discover a ship on the bow.\nLook ahead from the stern,\nThen scan half of a turn\nTo your right or your left, from the prow.", "id": 20194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "\"One more dram, Mary! Pour, if it pleases,\nSome bramberry wine with my cheeses!\"\nHer customer gambles\nA blackberry bramble's\nThe source of the fruit that she squeezes.", "id": 20195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Though Congress and Court form a share\nOf the branches of government, there\nIs a man on a ranch\nWhose executive branch\nHas been growing, bestowing despair.", "id": 20196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A blabber-lipped fellow named Pete\nPossessed lips that were swollen, replete\nWith a cluster of cold sores\n(They must have been old sores,\nSince blabber-lipped's now obsolete).", "id": 20197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Parcel a, parcel b, parcel c,\nAs my lawyer explained it to me,\nKnown as acres, were white,\nGreen and black, so he might\nKeep them sorted when asking his fee.", "id": 20198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The zoologist asked: \"Did you know a\nPhysophora (class Hydrozoa)\nHas bracts on its stem?\"\nI don't know about them,\nBut no leaves are attached to my boa.", "id": 20199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A bow pin is used to affix\nThe yoke on his ox; when it clicks\nIn the ox bow, his load\nWill be towed down the road,\nThen his row will be hoed, he predicts.", "id": 20201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A body, wrote Hobbes, is what's known\nIndependent of thinking alone.\nSaid Mill, it's the cause\nOf sensation, through laws\nThat are senseless if left on their own.", "id": 20202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "You're certain to cherish and love it\u2014\nMost bricklayers think the world of it.\nA trowel you pick\nFor cement. For a brick,\nUse a bolster: a clear cut above it.", "id": 20203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Our captain is stubborn\u2014he plows on\nThrough hell or high water.  Our prow's on\nThe serrated side\nOf that reef, at low tide:\nI'm afraid we'll collide, coming bows on.", "id": 20204, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "We stare at the actor who looks\nLike those swashbuckling pirates in books.\nTo see Marlon brandish\nHis sword is outlandish:\nIt flashes, then clashes with Hook's.", "id": 20205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You can house your small pet axolotl\nIn any old jar you have what'll\nRemain watertight.\n(Though your ocelot might\nFind life much too cramped in a bottle.)", "id": 20206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Alternative (yet one more way)\nSets a minimum tax (USA).\nIf deductions account\nFor low tax, this amount\n(AMT) guarantees we'll still pay.", "id": 20207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The cellist, with delicate bowing,\nPlayed a melody, smooth, easygoing:\nCantabile feeling,\nSerenely appealing,\nLike singing, or streams gently flowing.", "id": 20208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On my boat, I saw whales in the wild.\nA harpoon then flew out; a man smiled.\nHe towed one to shore,\nCarved a chunk, then ten more;\nTurned me into a blubbering child.", "id": 20209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Come the end of the race, he would win,\nThen sit down on the ground with a grin:\n\"Think I'll take a few naps\n'Til it's time for my schnapps;\nI'm about to collapse, I'm all in.\"", "id": 20210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Watch the Civil Rights movement unfold\nIn the '60s, in Carmichael's mold:\n\"Though the Reverend King\nTells us 'peace' is the thing,\nWe'll not beg for black power we hold.\"", "id": 20211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Oh, Great Wise One, how is it legit\nThat a man can stand up and yet sit?\"\n\"Bifurcated?  Stay shy\nShould you ever ask 'Y'\nOf a man with forked tongue.\" Then he split.", "id": 20212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I'm out with Suzanne, about eight,\nAt a pub that's romantic, sedate,\nWhen in strolls \"Clark Gable\";\nHe sits at our table:\nA bird dog, he's after my date.", "id": 20213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "At times when I feel vitriolic,\nI'll grab for a drink alcoholic.\nBut it worsens my mood\nWhen I guzzle and brood;\nThen I really become diabolic.", "id": 20214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The experts all told us in chorus\nOf a dinosaur called Brontosaurus.\nHis construction was shoddy\u2014\nWrong head on the body.\nWe now call him  Apatosaurus.", "id": 20215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "If you think you've a certain cachet,\nA je ne sais quoi, let us pray\nThat your head doesn't swell;\nEven if you excel\nYou should know you've got feet made of clay.", "id": 20216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Howlett", "limerick": "I'm right at the end of my tether;\nI'm stuck in a storm I can't weather:\nI was using some glue,\n(Haven't you done it too?)\nNow my fingers are bonded together.", "id": 20217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Applications of modern biology\nMay conflict with a group's ideology.\nSome say altering genes\nUsing sewing machines\nIs preferred over biotechnology.", "id": 20218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Bleeding deacons are spoiling A.A.!\nInventory yourself, pal, okay?\nYour presumptuous bleatings\nMonopolize meetings\nAnd stink up the Twelve Step buffet.", "id": 20219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If there's carbon monoxide about,\nThen the miners just have to get out!\nBut how can one test?\nThe canary is best\u2014\nIf it dies, then there's no room for doubt.", "id": 20220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Forty dancers stand poised on the stage.\nThe director had hoped to engage\nSeven girls from this pack;\nBut this cattle call's lack\nOf raw talent has him in a rage.", "id": 20221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "You've struck out with Mike's sister Jen\nAnd you're hiding out here in the den.\nThis gaffe needs undoing,\nSo get your mind brewing,\nQuit stewing: start wooing again.", "id": 20222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Got a home that's on wheels (my retreat).\nFound a job that I knew would be sweet.\nI'm a camp host. It's fun!\nIt's my duty to run\nThis small campground\u2014that's no easy feat.", "id": 20223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When it's Friday at Camp Crystal Lake,\nFind your tent and don't make the mistake\nOf the camper who tracks\nJason, wielding his ax\u2014\n'Cause you know there's a sequel to make.", "id": 20224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In a Bronco the fugitive fled,\nO. J. Simpson, a killer, some said.\nJohnny Cochran defended\nThe man apprehended.\nNow he's having lunch at Club Med.", "id": 20225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"Please lend me a bobby pin, guard.\nI must fix my locks, and it's hard,\"\nThe prisoner pleaded.\nShe got the pin needed\u2014\nAnd now she is no longer barred.", "id": 20226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a baker of pie\nWhose flavors were praised far and nigh.\nMrs. Lovett's meat filling\nHelped her make quite a killing,\nWith her barbering boyfriend nearby.", "id": 20227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The best bovine waitress we'd seen\nWas Bess at the old Dairy Queen.\nTo thank her for dipping\nOur treats, we tried tipping,\nBut tipping a cow's kinda mean.", "id": 20228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"Come on, give me a point I can use!\nBaby's needin' a new pair of shoes!\nShow me money, you saps!\nI'm an expert at craps!\"\n\"Roll, already! ... It's boxcars! You lose!\"", "id": 20229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "A garter for arms helps relieve\nYou from tugging your unrolling sleeve.\nThese armlets are cute,\nAnd they sell well, to boot:\nMake them gifts on the next Christmas Eve.", "id": 20230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "In the case of the grape, bird's-eye rot's\nA disease that won't please you whole lots.\nCalled anthracnose, it grows,\nKills the plant when it shows,\nMaking farmers look closely for spots.", "id": 20231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "He looks harried, depressed, and quite nervous,\nWith mood swings a-swaying and swervous.\nThings get under his skin\nBringing thunder within:\nBarythymia calls for psych service.", "id": 20232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A tradition parishioners cherish\nIs the beadroll, whose reading gives prayerish\nAttention to those\nWith diseases and woes\nThat concern those who people the parish.", "id": 20233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Writing e-mails? A line there may be,\nIn the heading, that reads \"bcc:\".\nFor addressees put there,\nThough the message they share,\nNo one knows they will read it, just me.", "id": 20234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "What lies beneath heaven is Earth,\nAnd beneath the Equator there's Perth.\nBeneath Bandaids are cuts,\nAnd 'neath almond trees, nuts,\nBut beneath Momma's muumuu\u2014just girth.", "id": 20236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Anybody could donate a part\nOf his body, like spleen, eye, or heart.\nWhen you're brain dead, Dad's grief\nMight be others' relief,\nAnd your corneas, someone's fresh start.", "id": 20237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Philip Chris Erickson", "limerick": "A scientist once said to me,\n\"The mixing of ocean debris\nIs bioturbation,\nOr sand agitation\nBy creatures who live in the sea.\"", "id": 20238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When circuit boards haven't much space,\nBGAs are a form you'll embrace.\nEvery ball grid array\nConnects chips in a way\nThat you'll squeeze many more into place.", "id": 20239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "While climbers, intrepid, bag peaks,\nSherpa porters tend base camp. Techniques\nUsing yaks lighten loads\nFor ascents where no roads\nGo, so trekkers don't mind if camp reeks.", "id": 20240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Conveying the sound of a bee\nIsn't hard (and it's spelled b-z-z).\nListen closely; don't miss\nHow bees bzz just like this:\nWith vibrations in wings you can see.", "id": 20241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With big breasts and long legs; fighting trim,\nAll the Bond girls are sultry and slim.\nTheir names are suggestive;\nJames Bond's ever restive\nTo bed them, and they to bed him.", "id": 20242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My husband just died; I was grieved.\nAt his funeral I wept, so bereaved.\nThought things couldn't get worse\nTill his lover\u2014his nurse!\u2014\nSang a dirge that revealed she'd conceived.", "id": 20243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "On my sailboat I felt like a loser,\nSo I bought me a new cabin cruiser.\nNow I live on the seas\nAnd can swamp whom I please;\nI've gone from abused to abuser.", "id": 20244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The most noble of hounds is the beagle,\nWith his tri-colored coat, oh, so regal.\nBut obedience school?!\nNo, he follows this rule:\n\"Whatsoever's not punished is legal.\"", "id": 20245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "No, a bellyband isn't obese\nTuba players who blow without cease.\nIt's a hitch for a horse\nPulling wagons, of course,\nWith a circumabdominal piece.", "id": 20246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Apply force and some muscles contract,\nBut they stay at the same time intact.\nThese are called auxotonic.\nDon't get all histrionic,\nAny spring can perform the same act.", "id": 20247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Amarthritis is truly a pain;\nIf your multiple bone joints  contain\nAn enormously great\nInflammation, of late,\nTake two Vioxx, then see me again.", "id": 20248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A large baculus: that's what you need\nTo tell people that you're in the lead.\nWhether bishop or Moses,\nOne surely supposes\nYour commands are obeyed \u2014 all must heed!", "id": 20249, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Uncle 'Arry, 'oo's rich, never shares\nWith relations, in spite of their prayers.\nNope, 'e 'oards all 'is dough,\nBut 'e'd soon better show\nThat 'e cares, ere 'is heirs air 'is errs.", "id": 20250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "If a matrix derives all its actors\nFrom its parent's square matrix cofactors,\nIt's an adjoint. This knowledge\nWas useful in college;\nWhen dating, such facts are detractors.", "id": 20251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Our hotel's endured flaps from your team,\"\nWarned the manager, \"This time, extreme.\nThough they may just be kids,\nOur insurance forbids\nThat they keep blowing off so much steam.\"", "id": 20253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "At the seaside a clever promoter\nSold headwear to each weekend floater.\n\"There's just one thing that's clear\nIn my retail career:\nDon't say 'cap size' when fitting a boater!\"", "id": 20254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A bitblt's a way to move bits\nAs fast as your hardware permits.\nAnd here's what it stands fer:\nIt's bitmap block transfer.\nA computer fits bits in a blitz.", "id": 20255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"This porcelain's the work of a thief.\nIt's embellished with paint!\" was his beef.\nToo bad that my friend\nThrew it out in the end,\nFor that stupid old \"fool's gold\" belief.", "id": 20256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Somewhere over the rainbow, up high,\nIs a bakery there in the sky,\nWhere the goods they create\nAre all sold by their weight.\n\"Put it here on the scale\u2014weigh a pie.\"", "id": 20257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Don't come over...I'm just not prepared!\nI have seventeen cats and I'm scared\nTo confess, with chagrin,\nThat I can't let you in\nTill the house has been thoroughly aired.", "id": 20258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My teacher aggressively told us\nTo write with the pens that she'd sold us.\nOur letters weren't flowing;\nHer anger was growing:\nIncursive, \"In cursive!\" she'd scold us.", "id": 20259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "No Frills Airlines I called in advance\nTo save seats for my journey to France.\nThey said, \"Bookable? No!\nHang your phone up and go\nTo LaGuardia; come, take a chance!\"", "id": 20260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Let us say out of four one's at scratch.\nSo how's one to play three? That's the catch.\nFrom the three (as though sole)\nTake the best for each hole.\nIt's that ball that's their score in the match.", "id": 20261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Picking blackberries means filling pails\nWith sweet purplish fruit, till their bails\nAlmost break in the briers,\nAnd selecting no-wires-\nElectronics for BlackBerry mails.", "id": 20262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "You would think that an \"alphabet stock\"\nIs a soup where the words run amok?\nTake a slurp and you'll see\nThat this meal \"a to z\"\nIs the source of words \"bath petal sock.\"", "id": 20263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I'm  burnt out, I've had it, it's ended!\nMy energy's all been expended.\nAt the end of my rope,\nI can no longer cope\nWith all of the ways you've offended.", "id": 20264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I have carefully toed the bard's line,\nYet my verses are new and are mine.\nNo, I wouldn't, oh dear,\nEver cross Edward Lear,\nFor I fear that galled ghosts aren't benign.", "id": 20265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "This old airplane is tricky to fly\nOn my benzodiazepine high.\nAll those Valium pills\nReally mess with my skills:\nWhere I should see the ground, I see sky.", "id": 20266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "The daredevil skydiving jumper\nFell into the back of a dumper.\nThe lass wasn't hurt,\nBut the jump took her shirt,\nAnd the traffic? Soon bumper-to-bumper.", "id": 20267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "You've achillobursitis? Big deal;\nI'm not really concerned how you feel.\nYou have been, without fail,\nSuch a pain in my tail,\nI don't care you've a pain in your heel.", "id": 20268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In the Bible is written the fable\nOf Cain, who, when madly unstable,\nHad murdered his brother.\nAsked \"Why?\" by their mother,\nHe answered, \"Because he was Abel.\"", "id": 20269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When the feverish dengue receiver\nDetached all his limbs with a cleaver,\nHe said, \"I've removed\nAll the pain, which has proved\nThat disarming relieves breakbone fever!\"", "id": 20270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "So you see my accessory nipple\nAnd say I'm a \"bosomy cripple\"?\nWhatever; my nub'll\nBeat anyone's double\u2014\nI've got me a mammary triple!", "id": 20271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We sell Acmel and Winstun and Salam.\nJust order online, and we'll mail 'em.\nOh, kids, ain't it dandy?\nOur cigarette candy\nIs sold on the web now! Inhale 'em!", "id": 20272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'm about to have words with my broker:\nHis picks have been sub-mediocre.\nMy stocks? Unimpressive;\nHis autoregressive\nTechniques make me wish I'd played poker.", "id": 20274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "If Fender's the name on the label,\nYour ax is a weapon of fable.\nThe Esquires, Broadcasters\nAnd Teles were blasters,\nBut Strats were the tops from that stable.", "id": 20275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "They want me to plough the backyard,\nBut just scratching the surface is hard\nWith this quite categoric-\nally most prehistoric\nScratch-plough that is known as an ard.", "id": 20276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My Justice League grandson gets faster\nAt shooting his \"energy blaster.\"\nWho cares if it's merely\nA stick? Because clearly\u2014\nOf fantasy, Jason's a master.", "id": 20277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the jerry-built homes, there is real\nDespair in this French bidonville.\nIn the shanties and shacks\nLive some Arabs and blacks\nFor whom criminal acts have appeal.", "id": 20278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you suffer a sudden invasion\nOf elephants, that's an occasion\nTo check on the size\nOf their ears and surmise\n(If they're small) that the creatures are Asian.", "id": 20279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bush that is baccate bears fruit;\nThe arbutus is one (what a beaut)!\nThe fruit, though, is berries,\nNot peaches or cherries,\nBoth drupes of a different repute.", "id": 20280, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The continuing war in Iraq\nTakes a terrible toll, which we track.\nThe body count's clear\nFor our soldiers, I hear,\nBut Iraqis? Those numbers we lack.", "id": 20281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Up the slope at top of the heap\nIs a ballhooter earning his keep.\nIn the lumberjack trade,\nHe's the worker who's paid\nTo roll logs down the hills that are steep.", "id": 20282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The beefalos, squab, and sardines\nShow what biodiversity means:\nEach species we kill\nTakes a food off the grill,\nSo we're losing exotic cuisines.", "id": 20283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "The yellow wax pepper is hot,\nWhile the big sweet banana is not.\nThe dried ancho is mild\n(Poblano, my child).\nThis Capsicum lore is hard-bought.", "id": 20284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "He lets his face grow all bewhiskered,\n'Cause it helps when he's north of New Liskeard.\nWhen men's whiskers grow,\nThey keep out the snow.\nWithout them, they'd feel rather brisk-er'd.", "id": 20285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Every miscreant Limey who sails,\nThough the seaman be tougher than nails,\nWould rather risk slaughter\nThan the cap'n's cruel daughter:\nThe lash of the cat-o'-nine-tails.", "id": 20286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "There once was a sculptor named Hans\nWho wanted to honor \"The Fonz\".\nSmelting copper with tin,\nHe was set to begin\nTwo huge thumbs made completely of bronze.", "id": 20287, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kwalispecial", "limerick": "The music of Carlos Santana;\nThe delicate taste of banana\nAnd rum drinks galore;\nLying prone by the shore,\nRelaxing within my cabana.", "id": 20288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "I enjoy NASA's works astronautic,\nThough at present they seem too quixotic.\n'Til they fix all the foam,\nLeave the shuttle at home \u2014\nBut continue those missions robotic.", "id": 20289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "First Katrina forced thousands of men\nAnd women to flee the floods.  Then\nRita hit New Orleans.\nWell, you know what this means:\nWe must beef up the levees again.", "id": 20290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His blessing, expressing conviction,\nWas convenient, expedient fiction.\nHe was power-obsessed,\nLacked the faith he professed,\nAnd that made for a flawed benediction.", "id": 20291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I wrote recommending my friend,\n'Twas a note I'd intended to send,\nBut it's boringly dull,\nSo I surely should mull\nOver whether to send what I've penned.", "id": 20292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Youthful fires are damped into coldness,\nAnd our passions recede, due to oldness.\nThough the riskiest chance\nOffers charm and romance,\nWe choose safety, not impudent boldness.", "id": 20293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anatomicomedical lasses\nTake comedic anatomy classes.\nCut-up shtick for the brain\nIn a humerus vein\nRequires pratfalls on gluteal masses.", "id": 20294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Carcinomas we seek to control\nMay need hormones, which furthers our goal.\nTo inhibit aromatase\nIn a breast carcinoma case\nIs the whole of anastrozole's role.", "id": 20295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To fathom the depths of the sea\nTakes a mariner deeper than me.\nI survey from the strand,\nBut can scarce understand\nWhether basin or bight this bay be.", "id": 20296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our neighbors, named Marty and Joan,\nGot another home-equity loan.\nFive in college this fall,\nOf eleven, in all,\nSince the couple is accident-prone.", "id": 20297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To law school he'd gone, as expected,\nBut to passing the bar, he'd objected.\nOnce the gin that they'd pour\nGot him in through the door,\nLegal studies were sadly neglected.", "id": 20298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The patient was heard to lament\nAnd bewail what he just underwent.\nHe regrets his approval\nFor organ removal\nAnd bemoans his wholehearted consent.", "id": 20299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While boastfully brimming with pride,\nThe braggart kept swelling inside.\nBut with no one to tell,\nHe continued to swell\n'Til he suddenly burst\u2014and he died.", "id": 20300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your heart rate was running much higher,\nAs your cardio workouts require.\nSo you failed to discern,\nBusy feeling the burn,\nThat your sweatpants were catching on fire.", "id": 20301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Last autumn, he'd had a great fall,\n'Til Humpty was pushed off a wall.\nWith his body in shambles,\nThe rescue team scrambles\u2014\nBut, unseasoned, they're no help at all.", "id": 20302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Me mither would constantly dither\nOver whether to carry 'em with 'er;\nBut, given her druthers,\nShe'd leave me me brothers\nTo chase after, hither and thither.", "id": 20303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I've heard where you're planning to go, man,\nYet\u2014I think there's a fact you should know, man:\nWhen you're taking the push\nUp the old Hindu Kush,\nYou could meet the Abominobinob-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-ble Snowman!", "id": 20304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "I think cadmium's great in a glaze.\nIt produces a glorious blaze\nOf orange and red,\nBut let it be said:\nIf you eat it, it numbers your days.", "id": 20305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When on Wednesday, at Buckingham Palace,\nAntimonarchist writers from Dallas\nGot kicked where it hurt\nBy our monarch's horse, Bert,\nShe denied royal training or malice.", "id": 20306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "The architect stopped by and halted\nConstruction; he screamed, then assaulted\nMy boss for revealing\nThe wrong type of ceiling:\nNot angled, but round (barrel-vaulted).", "id": 20307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "This place is as black as the night,\nAnd the darkness sure gives me a fright.\nThe reason is this:\nThat my daft little sis\nForgot gas, so our argand won't light.", "id": 20308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Although some would applaud him for bravery,\nMost have judged John Brown's actions unsavory.\nFrom his raids, that all grieved,\nGrew the war which achieved\nHis one goal: abolition of slavery.", "id": 20309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As taxons step up to be weighed\nIn a fight for the name of the clade,\nApomorphisms grow\nAnd taxonomists know\nTo judge each by the difference it made.", "id": 20310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our clean, simple cosmos got dirty:\nAn object like BL Lacertae\nThat looks like a quasar\nIs known as a blazar\nIf synchrotron beaming is spurty.", "id": 20311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "The passengers scream out in fright;\nPilot tries, but the gear doesn't bite.\nThere's a sharp, scraping sound\u2014\nBelly landing on ground\u2014\nAnd the pilot sighs, \"Phew, we're all right!\"", "id": 20312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "In calculus, delta's the rule:\nTiny steps make an elegant tool.\nWhen parameters range,\nYou can find rate of change\nWith dy/dx \u2014 it's so cool!", "id": 20313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Acoustic Triangle succeed\nIn making great music. Indeed,\nThis classical trio\nPlay jazz with such brio,\nOf mikes and of amps, they've no need.", "id": 20314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A dazed milkman advised one or two\nOf his brush with the wild Miss Peru.\nHe then called for the cops,\nWho, in two minutes tops,\nFound her house \u2014 but they still had to queue.", "id": 20315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A shaft in a tube: it can slide\nUp and down, and then when you decide\nThe position is right,\nYou can lock it up tight\nWith a binder bolt, tested and tried.", "id": 20316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The beaver's a dam-building master.\nIn Latin the rodent is Castor\nCanadensis. The felt\nFrom its elegant pelt\nMade a fortune for John Jacob Astor.", "id": 20317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a mother and father have mated,\nTheir offspring are frequently fated\nTo bother each other,\nLike sister and brother,\nWho wish they'd been born unrelated.", "id": 20318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "I'm thirsting to be absorbefacient,\nAt rest in the ocean, complacent.\nIf left up to me\nThen a sponge I would be,\nInstead of a psycho-ward patient.", "id": 20319, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "No, you can't read through A in one sitting!\nWith limericks, trust us, it's fitting\nTo savour their flavour\nIn batches. Those braver\nHave heads, not just sides, that are splitting!", "id": 20320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Archaic words many and various\nSeem  humorous, odd, or nefarious.\nBut some that persist\n(Like alacrious\u2014brisk;\nGladly active) fall short of hilarious.", "id": 20321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adulterated: not very nice\nWhen describing your milk or a spice,\nBut be slow to disparage;\nWhen applied to a marriage,\nIt implies a much weightier vice.", "id": 20322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "Renaming the calico-back,\nConfederates went on attack:\n\"It's yella and stinkin'.\nLet's call it 'Abe Lincoln\nBug' \u2014 drainin' our lives for a snack.\"", "id": 20323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "From this alicorn flagon, each dawn,\nAlexiterical potions I've drawn.\nThese theriacal simples\nShould keep away pimples.\nContagion and poison, begone!", "id": 20324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "The taproot of young burdock plants\nCan be eaten by nephews and aunts;\nBut the heads, well, they bristle\nWith burrs, so this thistle\nAvoid, unless wearing long pants.", "id": 20325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "\"Can you smell that?  Like butter gone bad.\nOr old sweat \u2014 maybe vomit,\" he'd add.\nI was practically lyric,\n\"The smell is butyric!\"\n\"You're passing in chemistry, lad.\"", "id": 20326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Should a \"someone\" love Eleanor truly, an'\nShe has only one lover, named Julian \u2014\nThen Julian's he,\nAnd true his love be\n(A tautologous statement most Boolean!).", "id": 20327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"My wagon's too dark to look smart!\nMake it white, I'll review every part.\"\n\"You can stuff your desire!\nMs. DuBois, I require\nCarte blanche 'fore I'll blanch Blanche's cart.\"", "id": 20328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Albugo's plant fungi, white rust.\nA silvery bonefish discussed\nIs the Albula kind.\nOn Albuca plants find\nYellow flowers in clusters robust.", "id": 20329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "You're no spy; you've not bedded a blonde;\nNot a suit from Savile have you donned;\nThe martinis you've taken\nWere stirred and not shaken.\nI think we should call you James \"Conned\".", "id": 20330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The Government (lackeys and chiefs)\nHave imprisoned me for my beliefs:\nI believed the alarm\nWas one I could disarm;\nIt was not \u2014 so my fate is a thief's.", "id": 20331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "She sees little bugs on the wall!\nShe thinks there's a troll in the hall!\nThe doctor will fix it\u2014\nI hope he can nix it.\nABS is the cause of it all!", "id": 20332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Not all priests are antiscientific,\nSome think Darwin just wasn't specific.\n God made bugs, which evolved\n Into man. Problem solved:\nEvolution with God's hand. Terrific.", "id": 20333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Apathetic, don't care, I give in;\nWithout hope of a job, I've now been\nOn Skid Row, down and out.\nI'm just pooped and about\nAt wit's end. Some folks lose, some folks win.", "id": 20334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Now I'm under arrest\u2014too, too sad!\nWhat's the problem? The outlook's quite bad.\nI was just passing by...\nNow I'm locked up, and I\nDon't have bail, facing jail, and\u2014egad!", "id": 20335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Some athletes get contracts so high\nWhile on dope, and it makes me ask, \"Why?\"\nWith some help from their juice,\nWe could all be so spruce,\nBreaking all kinds of records, no lie.", "id": 20336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Got my aerosol paint and I'm set.\nAs a tagger, I've never yet met\nA blank sprawl of a wall\nI won't spray. There I scrawl\nAll my claim to the fame that I'll get.", "id": 20337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ant: exerting industrious might,\nToiling constantly, even at night,\nYou can sometimes observe.\nThough admiring its verve,\nI can't say I much like its (ouch) bite.", "id": 20338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When you want to appear resolute,\nAbsolute is the word to refute\nAny lingering doubts.\nFor carousing-type bouts,\nThe vodka's got lots of repute.", "id": 20339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Let's accelerate, step on gas, yo!\nWe dig speed and like fast more than slow.\nPut the pedal to metal,\nIn rip-roaring fettle,\nVa-va-voom, blasting off, go, go, GO!", "id": 20340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "All these bag-packing backpackers bang\nEverybody and me with those dang-\nblasted loads of their stuff!\nI just won't take this guff!\nTrollish humpbacks\u2014I'm calling my gang!", "id": 20341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The sound of his horn will live on\nAs long as we hear. Brownie's gone\n(He died much too young,\nSome songs left unsung),\nBut his tones still shine bright, like the dawn.", "id": 20342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "He's so cultured, an aesthete replete\nWith refinement (he's sort of effete).\nHe's so wild for the hue\nOf that lavender blue\nThat he's dyed all his undies. (How sweet!)", "id": 20343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "He's audacious, his bold derring-do's\nA big hit with the ladies who choose\nHim as #1 stud,\nWhile they chew on their cud,\nAnd signal approval with moos.", "id": 20344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "His gift from the City of Light\nHolds her torch on our shores, shining bright.\nBartholdi's great feat\nAt our door serves to greet\nNew arrivals, a welcoming sight.", "id": 20345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My aim's to have limericks approved,\nImpressing Chris Strolin, who's moved\nThat participatory\nWeb projects bring glory\nTo writers whose work's been improved.", "id": 20346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As we flew from St. Louis to Maine,\n\"In the loo,\" he said, \"join me and feign\nThat you're helping me heal\nFrom that last airline meal\u2014\nOnly don't tell my wife; it's her plane.\"", "id": 20347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "What ailed that giraffe-like old dame\nCaused her doctors both sadness and shame.\nThey cried as they tried\nTo reach down, but she died,\nFor her voice box was left to inflame.", "id": 20348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Said the madam, \"I'm getting too old\nFor the game: time to quit, so I'm told.\nAs a bawd I'm just bored\nWith the whores in my horde.\nI deserve to come in from the cold.\"", "id": 20349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "What was bdellium (read:  DEL-yum) of yore?\nWere its \"pieces\" pearls, perfume, or ore\nFrom the Pison savanna,\nAnd colored like manna,\nWhose meaning is \"what is this hoar?\"", "id": 20350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Though advice from your friends may be rife,\nIt is you that's in charge of your life.\nIf you think you can do it,\nYou'll see your way through it\u2014\nThough you may find there's trouble and strife.", "id": 20351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The balcony known best of all\nIs the one to which Romeo's call\nWas directed with hope\nThat his \"Sun\" would elope\nWith him, from her bedroom's tall wall.", "id": 20352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "The alveoli work in your lung\nBy exchanging the gases among\nThe blood, as it flows,\nAnd the breaths the lung blows.\nWhen they're damaged by smoke, you die young.", "id": 20353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An amulet: small lucky charm\nThat you wear round your neck (or your arm).\nThough I doubt that it could\nDo a whole lot of good,\nI doubt too it could do any harm.", "id": 20354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The guy from FX thinks he's slick,\nAnd a top-grossing movie's his shtick.\nHis results aren't pretty;\nHe levels the city.\nThat's known as a blockbuster flick.", "id": 20355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"There's a leak in this miserable jail,\nAnd we're drowning!\" the prisoners wail.\nEvery man holds a grudge\n'Cause a cold-hearted judge\nSaid to every defendant, \"No bail!\"", "id": 20356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a woman named Maud\nWho advertised she was a bawd.\nThe police chief, incensed,\nAn enquiry commenced.\nThe division he chose?  Antifraud.", "id": 20357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Her date (quite a loser, I hear)\nTipped over his whole mug of beer.\nHe ruined her coat;\nYes, that clod got her goat\u2014\nHer luxurious cashmere, I fear.", "id": 20361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Pre-computer, the most modern means\nFor merchants and clerks to count beans\nHad no plug, cable, screen,\nMouse, or circuits between;\nThey were old-fashioned adding machines.", "id": 20362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When you're choosing a name on the net,\nWhat you call yourself helps you forget\nHow your \"flesh\" personality's\nColder mentality's\nSomething you've learnt to regret.", "id": 20363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In courtesy court, on his knees,\nHe sought desperately hard to appease\nFor his churlish display,\nBut he failed to allay,\nSo the jurist rejected his \"Please.\"", "id": 20365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Reproduction may seem panoramic,\nIts methods diverse and dynamic.\nSome are rather complex,\nLike selection by sex;\nThat's the process called apolegamic.", "id": 20366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bow tie's a neckpiece that hasta\nBe knotted just right. It will lasta\nFull day and look neat,\nBut take care when you eat\nDrippy sauce with your lunch (bow tie pasta).", "id": 20367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My girlfriend was knitting a bootie,\nA pink-and-blue-striped one, a beauty;\nAnd she knitted non-stop. \"A\nSurprise for you, Poppa!\"\nI married her; that was my duty.", "id": 20368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In biology class I learn terms\nFor the eggs of some annelid worms.\nThey are atokous, hexed\n(As they're wholly un-sexed)\u2014\nJust to think of it gives me the squirms.", "id": 20369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Bulwer-Lytton wrote tales oft retold\n'Bout a Round Table hero, so bold:\nHe, with skin black as coal,\nAnd with rage in his soul\nWas a dark stormy knight to behold.", "id": 20370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "We have a new infant.  It may be\nHis wardrobe is stretching my pay.  Be\nThat so, we're no fools;\nWe'll provide him with jewels.\nIt's a joy to be blinging up baby.", "id": 20371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The minister's happy to marry 'em,\nTo send 'em wherever fates carry 'em.\nThey're starting to sup;\nSomeone poisoned their cup!\nThey're ingesting Ba; soon we'll barium.", "id": 20375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An acrobat, Beth, leaves us breathless\nWith stunts that we hope will be deathless.\nOn the flying trapeze\nShe appears ill at ease;\nJust one slip and the circus is Bethless.", "id": 20376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My mouth has gone terribly dry;\nMy saliva has bid me goodbye.\nYou will pardon the nihilism,\nBut I'm facing aptyalism\u2014\nCan't spit, and afraid I will die.", "id": 20377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a tooth hurts, I always take heed,\nSo I'll call up my dentist with speed.\nDarn!\u2014the pain feels neuralgic.\nAn antiodontalgic\nIs just what I'll tell him I need.", "id": 20378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There is little I find in creation\nThat encourages antilibration.\nThere's imbalance in life\nBetween stillness and strife:\nToo much yang, while the yin's on vacation.", "id": 20379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Astrognosy sounds a bit strange.\nIt's the knowledge of stars, which will change,\nI admit, with a sigh,\nAs we canvass the sky,\nThrough the telescope's broadening range.", "id": 20380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adeciduate trees, in the fall,\nDon't shed leaves like my oak tree at all\n(No broad leaves of their own\u2014\nSome have needle and cone).\nEvery Christmas they spruce up the mall.", "id": 20381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It was there, on my Chemistry quiz.\nBichloride of mercury is:\n___What laundries wash socks in\n___A dangerous toxin\n___The stuff that gives sodas their fizz.", "id": 20382, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's advehent; it brings something in\u2014\nJust imagine you're pricked by a pin.\nNerve cells carry the pain\nFrom your leg to your brain,\nSo you know you've been stuck in the shin.", "id": 20383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Think of lewisite\u2014poisonous junk.\nBAL counteracts this vile gunk.\nIf you're driving like hell,\nCops will check BAL\nTo find out if you're driving while drunk.", "id": 20384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's important to be understood.\nMy accountant once told me I should\nPay my taxes per anum;\nI decided to cane 'im.\n(His Latin is not very good.)", "id": 20385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Late last night, something told me I gotta\nWrite a limerick using a lotta\nRare old words, seldom heard,\nLike, for instance, the word:\nAnnotto (annatto, annotta).", "id": 20386, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Though Jewish, I envy your Easter;\nOn Cadbury Eggs I'm a feaster.\nThey're chocolate and smooth,\nAnd my mood they will soothe.\n(But they'll add too much weight to my keister!)", "id": 20387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Hmmm.  A snack to enhance my Campari.\nTo the waiter, \"What's this?\" \"Well, I'm sorry.\nThough really a squid\n(I'm not kidding you, kid),\nIt sounds better if called calamari.\"", "id": 20389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"The word balun won't stay in my head.\nCan you help me remember it, Fred?\"\n\"This transformer came\nTo be known by that name\n'Cause it's balanced/unbalanced,\" he said.", "id": 20390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An aging first-baseman named Jake\nDidn't care for poached salmon or steak \u2014\nSpent his life on the hunt\nFor a major-league Bundt:\nIt's a hit \u2014 it's a doughnut-shaped cake.", "id": 20391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At the bar, they inspected ID:\nNo exceptions were made, by decree.\nSo they checked without fail\nWhen she ordered spiced ale\u2014\nOdd they'd card a mom aged 83.", "id": 20392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Advice to the lovelorn seems smart\nIn all matters concerning your heart,\nAll excepting the note\nCardiologists wrote\nAnd attached to your medical chart.", "id": 20393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To avoid any trips to the vet,\nYou could get a disposable pet.\nWhen he's ill, there's no rush:\nTwist the handle and flush.\nWatch 'im circle the bowl, no regret.", "id": 20394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm brunching on brisket (or breast):\nNot the part of the cow I like best,\nBut some meat-stealin' thief\nMade me yell, \"Where's the beef?\"\nBy absconding with all of the rest.", "id": 20395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though my basketball star, baby Sibyl,\nCannot shoot, that is merely a quibble,\nFor her talent is clear,\nAs her age is one year,\nAnd she already knows how to dribble.", "id": 20396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I chanced upon poor Mother Hubbard,\nTeary streaks left her cheeks all beblubbered.\nSeems her dog had a fit\u2014\nSnarled a curse, up and quit\u2014\nFinding nary a bone in her cupboard.", "id": 20397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Do you mind if I just put a word in?\nIt's concerning those cattle you're herdin'\u2014\nLike that yak that you pack\nIn a sack on your back:\nDid you misunderstand \"beast of burden\"?", "id": 20398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a cappable jar's getting capped,\nWhether apt to be screw-on or snapped,\nThen it's capable of\nBeing closed from above,\nSo its captives get safely entrapped.", "id": 20399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A buzzard who works for the fuzz\nLeft her beeper wherever she was.\nWhat's the good that it does her?\nHer left-behind buzzer\nWon't buzz her whatever she does.", "id": 20400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those real estate agents can goof,\nAnd my living arrangements are proof:\nThough they found me a home\nWhere the buffalo roam,\nI expected four walls and a roof!", "id": 20401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Such a skeletal tree in the dark,\nWhere it's windy and barren and stark.\nWas it blind when it chose\nThat expanse where it grows,\nIn the Arctic, instead of a park?", "id": 20402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An elaborate kerosene lamp\nIs illuming the table at camp,\nWhere a vagabond's banquet,\nWith bawdy and rank wit,\nWill brighten the life of this tramp.", "id": 20403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biomedicine seeks to apply\nBiochemistry's methods, and I\nAm delighted there'll be\nBetter living for thee.\n(As for me, I'm preparing to die.)", "id": 20404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A spelunker is drawing our raves\nFor his studies of grottos and graves.\nSubterranean finds\nHave been opening minds\nTo the creatures inhabiting caves.", "id": 20405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The kiss was our first, and my heart\nSkipped a couple of beats at the start.\nBut it soon went amuck\nWhen our bite plates got stuck.\nIt took dentists to pull us apart!", "id": 20406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You were quite unaware of the menaces\nOf bioelectro, uh, genesis.\nThen a shock from an eel\nTo your groin made you reel\nAs if hit by a ball (one of tennis's).", "id": 20407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the paint is a player who hoards\nLots of rebounds and frequently lords\nOver centers so tall\nThey should grab every ball.\nHe's a guard who loves clearing the boards.", "id": 20408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The pitch of this sound isn't deep,\nBut it's short and repeats as I sleep.\nI awake to a curse\nFrom my wife, who's a nurse.\nBoth alarm clocks and spouses can bleep!", "id": 20409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bricklehampton's a village whose name\nIs enough to ensure its acclaim.\nIt's a Worcestershire town\nWith this offbeat renown:\nOf its letters, no two are the same.", "id": 20410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The neck of a bottle goes far\nAs a way to make sounds on guitar.\nUp and down it can slide\nOn the strings to provide\nA glissando effect that's bizarre.", "id": 20411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a logger whose job is to trim,\nFrom the trees that are felled, every limb.\nCalled a limber or brusher,\nHe's rarely a rusher,\n'Cause blunders with chainsaws are grim.", "id": 20412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a life science filling a void,\nAnd its products are truly enjoyed.\nWhen your nerves are unsound,\nEngineering has found\nElectronics are aptly employed.", "id": 20413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the frozen food section I go\nFor a cheesecake and chocolate g\u00e2teau.\nWhat I'm buying is bland\n(Not a popular brand),\nAnd it ain't nice as Sara Lee, so?", "id": 20414, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Chromatography helps us detect\nAnd determine a compound's effect.\nBeneficial by far,\nBioautographs are\nThe IDs we collect and inspect.", "id": 20415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Butadiene's a hazmat and gas\nThat is flammable, part of a class\nUsed in latex and rubber\u2014\nNot animal blubber,\nWhich makes up the bulk of my ass.", "id": 20416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bullace, a plant of repute,\nIs a plum-bearing shrub they salute\nIn the kitchens of Britain,\nWhere many are smitten\nBy puddings and jam from its fruit.", "id": 20417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I march to a drummer who's solo:\nIn fashion I favor a Polo\n(The shirt, not the game);\nAnd to make it less tame,\nIt's adorned with a tie called a bolo.", "id": 20418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "That algae-filled, mirrorlike potion\nOf sluggishness: dregs of an ocean\nOf ages, it steers\nAs it soaks up the years.\nThe canal: stagnant water in motion.", "id": 20420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Once abundant, the threatened cahow\nIs a bird rarely heard, even now.\nStill this petrel survives\nIn Bermuda and strives\nTo revive, if conditions allow.", "id": 20421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Derek Redfern", "limerick": "The top of the water was hard\nTo float on, in every regard.\nThen the boat was invented\n(An advance it presented);\nIn its day, it was quite avant-garde!", "id": 20422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Colonel Blimp, from a thirties cartoon,\nWas an ultraconservative goon.\nTo be blimpish, indeed,\nMeans to hold such a creed\n(Or resemble a bulging balloon).", "id": 20423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In some restaurants, charges are added.\nI hate it if checks have been padded.\nWhen charged in some venues\nFor use of the menus,\nReacting, I've often \"Egad!\"-ed.", "id": 20424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Biting Midge was the name of the flick;\nI imagined a biteable chick.\nBut I got it all wrong\u2014\nOver two hours long,\nOn a bug that sucks blood like a tick.", "id": 20425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In a surgical face-mask and bowler,\nHe bid on John Merrick's premolar.\nThe famous bicuspid\n(At eight-figures-plus bid)\nWent home with the proud rock-and-roller.", "id": 20426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In our dorsally focussed society,\nTerminology ruffles propriety:\nFrom tush to patooty\nTo butt to bazooty\nTo booty (non-pirate variety).", "id": 20427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Hematologists now can relate a\nCondition called Cooley's or beta\nThalassemia to\nCertain ethnic groups through\nEpidemiological data.", "id": 20428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "They had painted the famed Monticello\nSnowy white, but it's turning to yellow.\nThat bilging white paint\nMade a home that was quaint\nLook run-down, like a seedy bordello.", "id": 20429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There's a limit that's sometimes policed\nOn the number of masses per priest.\nTo engage in bination,\nAn authorization\nMust come from his bishop, at least.", "id": 20430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "See this black-market Cuban cigar?\nPicked it up at a very nice bar.\nUntil Castro's converted,\nThe law will be skirted,\nAnd markets will sometimes be noir.", "id": 20431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When Siddhartha\u2014his friends called him Sid\u2014\nFounded Buddhism, Dad flipped his lid.\nFirst he grounded the lad,\nThen he strictly forbade\nHim to meditate. (Buddha forbid!)", "id": 20432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David and Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Poor Klaus, an herbivorous Kraut,\nFelt on visits a little put aut,\nFor his backbiting aunts\nAlways padlocked their plants,\nAnd would shaut, \"You're a spraut-tauting laut!\"", "id": 20433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You can tell by the sash of my peers\nThere's a creed that each fellow reveres.\nWe are bound for all time\nBy the lure of the rhyme,\nAnd our belt gives our name: \"Bandoleers\".", "id": 20434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bemopolis", "limerick": "Balaneutics? A bath cure?  Pourquoi?\nA worthwhile panacea?  C'est pas!\nIt won't help vasculitis\nNor fix hepatitis,\nAnd didn't save Jean-Paul Marat.", "id": 20435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ah, ambrosia, a drink of the gods!\nIf you score some, your writing fame's odds\nAnd your rep are then cinched,\nImmortality clinched.\nPoetasters will have to stay clods.", "id": 20436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "We'll be better than ever, you'll see,\nOnce the water goes down. Things'll be\nHunky-dory. We'll rise\nUp again! A surprise\u2014\nUnbelievable, even for me.", "id": 20437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A salesman I know is a tempter,\nFrom honest disclosure exempter\nThan a fishwife's odd rumor.\nHe's anticonsumer;\nHis motto is caveat emptor.", "id": 20438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You're subtracting in columns? Don't try\nTaking nine from that two. It won't fly!\nThe solution is deft:\nBorrow ten from the left\nSo that twelve minus nine will apply.", "id": 20439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I yelled at my doc, \"You're a villain!\nWhy'd you ever prescribe amoxycillin?\nI broke out in a rash\nSo I'm trashing my stash,\nBut too late for my prom date with Dylan.\"", "id": 20440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd and SusanL", "limerick": "Come join Madam Mehitabel Chat.\nShe's agreed you're admittable at\nHer \"Back Alley Cafe.\"\nTry her pigeon mol\u00e9.\nShe's a very hospitable cat.", "id": 20441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Acrylamide's found in French fried\nPotatoes; so much, the rats died.\nI'll flee fries and skip chips\nSince the latest health tips\nSay to cancer they're both surely tied.", "id": 20443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "An acid, Arrhenius teaches,\nWhen dissolved, into ions then leaches\u2014\nA redistribution\nUntil the solution\nAcid-base equilibrium reaches.", "id": 20444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Hubeny", "limerick": "The good Brahmans are priests from a caste.\nThey're nonviolent. This structure should last,\nSince their wives would be pure\nSo their children are sure\nThat they're part of their father's proud past.", "id": 20445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A young girl behaving precociously\nMay be thought to be acting atrociously.\nBut her parents' stance now\nWill start off a big row,\nAnd they'll end up by fighting ferociously.", "id": 20446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Bilingually's how I grew up,\nSo today it's d\u00eener  when I sup.\nMy mother would fuss\nWhen my father roared \"Tasse!\",\n'Cause she hated to wash up his cup.", "id": 20447, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Bally's Casinos, renaming\nWhat was gambling, are calling it \"gaming,\"\nAs if losing your gelt,\nWhile you're gaming, it's felt,\nIsn't gambling, and therefore less shaming.", "id": 20448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Appersonation is taking on traits\nOf possessions, of dogs or of mates.\nSo take care whom you get\nFor a spouse or a pet,\nOr an ominous future awaits.", "id": 20449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Everlasting, I've learned, is one name;\nSo is pink paper daisy\u2014the same.\nAcroclinium's flower\nHas great staying power,\nA delight in a flowery frame.", "id": 20450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "To some, it is nearly a shrine\u2014\nCedar tubs filled from hot springs! Divine!\nCome to Bagby and find\nA renewed peace of mind.\nBathing au naturel is just fine.", "id": 20451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "On a desert plateau in the sun,\nSandstone arches display what is done\nWhen earth's forces most savage\nJoin forces to ravage\u2014\nTheir beauty shows nature has won.", "id": 20452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "They amass when I open the door:\nLittle hairballs that roll 'round the floor.\nSince my girlfriend, Big Betty,\nIs really a yeti,\nAnd shaving her armpits? A chore!", "id": 20454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I was bakin' an' taken aback\nWhen the bacon fell off of the rack,\nSo the cake I was makin'\nSoon tasted of bacon.\nMmmmmmm, bacon-a-cake\u2014what a snack!", "id": 20455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A two-hump-ed camel, you'll find,\nGives you someplace to park your behind.\nBut it's hard not to slide\nFrom the back or the side\nWhen your ride is that one-hump-ed kind.", "id": 20457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the school cafeteria, luck\nIs required to avoid flying muck.\nChewy pot roast with gristle\nMakes a neat guided missile;\nMushy peas make fine ammo, so DUCK!", "id": 20458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My sister thinks she's Betty Crocker,\nAnd I think she's clean off her rocker,\nWith an awful delusion\nThat causes confusion,\nBut she's baking so well, I can't knock 'er.", "id": 20459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Docs who scoff at the fruit I devour\nAre jealous I'm healthy; they're sour.\nAn apple a day\nKeeps the doctor away?\nWell, I eat twenty bushels an hour.", "id": 20460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The shepherdess Little Bo Peep\nWas endlessly counting her sheep.\nThe task was so boring\nIt left the girl snoring\nRight there in the pasture, asleep.", "id": 20461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and SheilaB", "limerick": "Scaly skin? Build your healthy-look bias in\nA diet you'll really feel pious in.\nEat your vitamin Bs;\nWard off dermal disease\nWith a proper consumption of niacin.", "id": 20462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you ever endeavor to mow,\nWear your footwear wherever you go:\nThere's a price to be paid\nIf you slice with a blade,\nAnd uncleverly sever a toe.", "id": 20463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An interesting part of biology\nIs the science of growth, called auxology.\nLike men's muscular arms\nOr girls' breasts' swelling charms \u2014\nBut the bumps on one's head \u2014 that's phrenology.", "id": 20464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "My chances appreciably rose\nWhen I zapped the large wart off my nose.\nNow I call it success\nWhen a prospect says yes.\nHey, it sure beats the \"no\"s and the \"oh\"s.", "id": 20465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "I'm rechecking some books that I've read\nTo determine what they might have said\nOn the future, and such.\nI don't think on it much,\nBut my mom always said, \"Plan ahead.\"", "id": 20466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The mythical daughter of Leto\nAnd twin of Apollo, she's neato.\nThis Artemis hunts.\nShe's a virgin (no stunts!)\nSo think twice before kissing her feet-o.", "id": 20467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "An air dam is like a big scoop\nThat's placed underneath your old coupe.\nIt reroutes the air's flow\u2014\nCools the engine, you know,\nAnd prevents you from flipping a loop.", "id": 20468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Supposin' you've frozen your toes\nWhen you goes in the snows without clothes?\nMy intent's not to censure\nYour sense of adventure.\nBut brain damage\u2014plainly it shows.", "id": 20469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I am tearing this bird limb from limb.\nThen I plan to eviscerate him.\nWhy such hostile aggressiveness?\nExcessive obsessiveness?\nOppressive depressiveness? Whim.", "id": 20470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Such focus is hard to ignore:\nIt's a topic your shrink might explore:\nIs your writing obsession\nA sign of regression\u2014\nPenning limerick lines by the score?", "id": 20471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're busily feeding your brood,\nBut your toddler's artistic in mood.\nShe's the one you beribbon,\nWho eats like a gibbon,\nWho's wearing her bows full of food.", "id": 20472, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those cashews are nuts as you please,\nAnd they're shaped like a bowlful of C's.\nSo you chomp and you chew,\nAnd pronounce them \"ca-SHOO\"\nWhen you're caught in the midst of a sneeze.", "id": 20473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"You've got ignorance\u2014buckets to spare\u2014\nWhile your apathy's more than your share!\"\nWith a shrug and a sigh\nComes your airy reply,\n\"I don't know, and I don't really care!\"", "id": 20474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A caver named Dave got so brave\nThat he ventured too deeply to save.\nThen an underground cave-in\nTrapped spelunker Dave in\nA fathomless cavern. 'Twas grave.", "id": 20475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bloodbird that oftentimes sung\nFlitters by, gath'ring food for its young.\nAnd it deftly devours\nThe nectar from flowers\nBy wielding its long hollow tongue.", "id": 20476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you're hungry for something within,\nCan openers open a tin\nWithout making a burr?\n(You would really prefer\nNot to open a gash in your skin.)", "id": 20477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the slates on the ballots are set,\nCampaign deficits haven't been met.\nCan they honestly say\nThey can honestly pay\nFor those candidates mired in debt?", "id": 20478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A cantankerous banker named Bunny\nHad discovered that something was funny:\nAll her tellers' accounts\nHad astounding amounts,\nThough the bank didn't pay them much money.", "id": 20479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A beetle has six legs in all,\nQuite enough for a critter that small.\nBut I'd think it was great\nIf their legs totaled eight,\nJust like John, George, and Ringo, and Paul.", "id": 20480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A witch with an itch for a brew\nFlavored beer with some aeroplane glue,\nPlus containers of ink,\nWhich are staining her sink.\nDidn't think that she'd drink it\u2014did you?", "id": 20481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Any boilable objects we've got\nAre appropriate things to get hot,\nLike you folks who persist\nOn my \"Enemies List\":\nForm a line, while I heat up the pot.", "id": 20482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When our cook went to look through the bookery,\nShe discovered 'mong corners and nookery\nWhat she surely mistook\nFor a cookery book,\nHence, these underdone crows from the rookery.", "id": 20483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The typesetter keeps every brace,\nEvery space, and each letter in place.\nThat compositor knows\nWhere each capital goes:\nIn the upper-most drawer, just in case.", "id": 20484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I planned my vacation to ski,\nMy thermometer read 23,\nBut the slope where I go\nWasn't covered by snow,\nSince the temperature scale was in C.", "id": 20485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm spending much more than most folk,\nSo my credit card bill is a joke.\nFrom my charging I'll take\nJust a bit of a break.\nIf I don't, there's a chance I'll go broke.", "id": 20486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're expecting you'll have the last word,\nBut your cats find that droll and absurd.\nThough the logic you're selling\nSeems clear and compelling,\nThose are cats you're determined to herd.", "id": 20487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You have boozed 'til you're thoroughly boozed,\nSo your order for more was refused.\nThere is little excuse\nFor your liquor abuse,\nAnd your friends are no longer amused.", "id": 20488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That linden tree standing apart\nIs a shade tree with leaves like a heart,\nAnd its basswood is oft\nLight and fine-grained and soft,\nGood for milling and woodcrafter's art.", "id": 20489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When skinning a neighborhood cat\n(There is more than one method for that),\nAfter bating the hide,\nTan it, stretching it wide,\nSo the leather will lie nice and flat.", "id": 20490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What a salt-forming halogen star\nIs the element bromine (Br)!\nThough this atom is weighty,\nWith mass number 80,\nJust 35 protons there are.", "id": 20491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The attorney was suddenly flailing\nWhen he slipped, lost his grip (broken railing).\nNone to sue or imprison\u2014\nThe railing was hisn:\n'Twas the barrister's bannister failing!", "id": 20492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If this pump's out of synch, you could die,\nSo electrical signals sweep by,\nAs each atrial part\nOf a four-chambered heart\nTakes its blood from a venous supply.", "id": 20493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I zipped through the zoo on a lark,\nI remarked, \"How atypically stark!\"\nNothing stirred, not a hippo\nNor bird\u2014I mean zippo\u2014\nNo typical trip to the park.", "id": 20494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Don't dare to provoke animosity\nIn an animal known for ferocity,\nLike a tiger or bear\u2014\nJust beware and prepare\nTo repair from his lair, with velocity!", "id": 20495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To divine which designs are divine,\nNote the driver who fractured her spine:\nIt seems apt but bizarre\nThat her left-turning car\nStruck the base of the no-left-turn sign.", "id": 20496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "See those racers out getting their kicks,\nAs their bicycles speed down the bricks?\nNot a one will acquire\nA stiff black wall tire\u2014\nA rubber and carbon black mix.", "id": 20497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As it burst from her burgeoning belly,\nAll reddish and squalling and smelly,\nWas her abdomen rent\nBy a blessed event?\nNo, just Aliens 3 on the telly.", "id": 20498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Looking up, arch your back as you kneel.\nReach behind; rest a palm on each heel.\nThen your back further bows\n'Til your elbows repose\nOn the ground.  That's how camels must feel.", "id": 20499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though its rhymes and its meter are lawful,\nPeople think that this limerick's awful\n'Cuz there's nothing to cause 'em\nTo think that it's awesome\nAnd e-mail their friends that they're ROFL.", "id": 20500, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Had mortals the wit to beware,\nAnd the Judgment of Paris been fair,\nWe'd see Eris's toss\nBeing stewed in a sauce,\nWith each goddess receiving her share.", "id": 20501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "According to tooth-trading fairies,\nThe soundness of teeth sometimes varies:\nSome are wholly intact;\nOthers holey and cracked:\nOn the whole, what they carry are caries.", "id": 20502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "In Scotland the borough's spelt 'burgh'\n(In England, of course, we're more thorough).\nTho' Yanks may say 'boro'\n(They plough their own furrow),\nThis form's for a Lowland Scots burrer.", "id": 20503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "A singlet (one lens) is transparent,\nBut its focus is likely aberrant\nWhen color's concerned.\nAs Newton once learned,\nAchromatism isn't inherent.", "id": 20504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "A pedagogue taught little Laura.\nA demagogue speaks with an aura.\n-Agogue is \"a leader\".\nA good Hebrew reader\nWill read, at the synagogue, Torah.", "id": 20505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "It seems there are bogies galore:\nThere is bogey in golf \u2014 that's a score;\nBogie \u2014 part of a train;\nAnd bogy \u2014 the bane\nOf the ghost story. Know any more?", "id": 20506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An Osaka investor in tune\nWith the market is fearing a swoon.\n\"The investment for me?\nStock that's strong as a tree!\nIt's only the bonsai will prune.\"", "id": 20509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Rating babes is the way we keep score;\nIt's a ten that we seek to adore.\nA below average girl\nIs a pig, not a pearl \u2014\nThat's the way that we say \"Met a four.\"", "id": 20510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "For bayah, a ritual act,\nAll the streets in Riyadh have been packed.\nSince the king is brand new\nAnd there's loyalty due\nIn Islam, this custom's intact.", "id": 20511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Noah packed them all in? There's a laugh!\nNo, the Ark lacked the room and the staff.\nHe just ran out of space,\nAnd the wuffalo's place\nWas assigned to a pushy giraffe.", "id": 20512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "They're togs, so a Kiwi will tell\nYou, or trunks for an Englishman's spell\nIn the surf, and an Aussie\nMight call them a cossie,\nOr possibly bathers, as well.", "id": 20513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Acumination: just what I need\nSo my pencil point doesn't recede.\nI'll sharpen it some,\nSo my writing will come\nAlive with my sharp wit and speed.", "id": 20514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Rugby football's a strange game, you know.\nThey use hands to both carry and throw;\nAnd a try is worth more\nThan the goal it is for;\nAnd some forwards are in the back row.", "id": 20515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A baculovirus sounds odd:\nIt's quite large and it's shaped like a rod,\nAnd it only takes posts\nIn invertebrate hosts.\nIt's a stranger to eggplants or cod.", "id": 20516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When in bardo you're not of this earth.\nIt's the state between death and rebirth\u2014\nWell, for Buddhists at least;\nFor a cinema priest,\nMaybe Brigitte Bardot had more worth.", "id": 20517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Cutting bits off their tails might fluster\nThe cattle, and cause them to cluster.\nIt's only the hair\nThat's cut off, nice and square;\nWe're conducting a bang-tail muster.", "id": 20518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In our abbey, the crabbiest feller\nLikes to dine with fine wine from our cellar.\nSince becoming a monk,\nHe gets drunk as a skunk,\nThough the vintage, he hints, isn't stellar.", "id": 20555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When a footballer's caught with the ball\nAt his feet, and there's no time at all\nTo be turning about,\nHe might hope for a shout\nAnd can back-heel it back to the call.", "id": 20556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "The Atrax robustus has fame\nAs the deadliest bug you could name.\nA funnel-web bite\nCauses more than just fright:\nAsk an insect; he'll tell you the same.", "id": 20557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "An astrologer, covered in scabs,\nSought opinions at medical labs.\n\"What's my illness? Please answer\nMe, Doc! Is it cancer?\"\n\"Well, after a fashion. It's crabs.\"", "id": 20558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "\"It's not odd when a dog and a plant elope,\"\nClaimed the collie who married a cantaloupe.\n\"Wifie's preggers with, maybe,\nA melon-collie baby,\nSo she's home with my uncle and antelope.\"", "id": 20559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "It's been said if you're born with a caul\nYou'll have talents the world to enthrall \u2014\nSecond sight, wealth and fame,\nPeople hailing your name \u2014\nBut it's just superstition, that's all.", "id": 20560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Nosferatu's new agency tried\nRe-inventing his image. Supplied\nWith refurbished ideals\nAnd a new set of wheels,\n\"To the bloodmobile, Batboy!\" he cried.", "id": 20561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "I've a carbuncle.  Not on my skin;\nIt's my mother's own brother\u2014my kin.\nCarbohydrates are all\nHe will eat, so I call\nHim my \"carb uncle\" (groan now\u2014or grin).", "id": 20562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "MrOgre", "limerick": "Acanthors are larvae that hatch\nFrom an Acanthocephalan batch.\nA crustacean gets eaten\nAnd its eaters are beaten\nWhen the spiny-head worm meets a match.", "id": 20563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "When a young electrician trainee\nWas installing an HDTV,\nHe started a fire\nBy using thin wire\u2014\nTwenty-seven AWG.", "id": 20564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The effects of his job are severest\nAt home, on his nearest and dearest.\nCareering away\nIn his workaweek day,\nIs the fate of the lonely careerist.", "id": 20565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There's bedlam in June in New York,\nSince it's littered with tourists who gawk\nBoth at this and at that,\nAnd then end up squashed flat \u2014\nThe fools run when the lights say \"Don't Walk!\"", "id": 20566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "British boffins are blokes who've read tomes\nAbout physics, and work under domes,\nOr in back rooms detecting\nElectrons deflecting,\nWhich makes them, I guess, Sherlock Ohms.", "id": 20567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We were thinking of drinking our fill\nAt the neighborhood tavern and grill,\nBut the service was poor,\nSo we walked out the door\nWithout paying the bar tab (our bill).", "id": 20568, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Lots of poems here, but none yet on doodle,\nOr poodle, or noodle, or strudel.\nWe lack more than two-thirds\nOf all possible words,\nYet may someday complete the caboodle.", "id": 20569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Accrementition: it might be an issue\n(It's the growing of similar tissue),\nShould it add to your size.\nBut if fame is your prize,\nWhy not go for it? No one could miss you!", "id": 20570, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The peasants, I hear, have been molting;\nAnd the pheasants, I fear, are revolting.\nSo, with all that's been said\nWhile my hearing aid's dead,\nSelf-restraint's all that keeps me from bolting.", "id": 20571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My Adventure game went along fine\n'Til I got to a bridge with a sign\nSaying \"Troll bridge. Pay troll,\"\nWhen I hadn't the toll,\nThough my typing in \"xyzzy\" worked fine.", "id": 20572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This vacation, intending to frolic,\nI had booked us a spot so bucolic\nThat the cows tend to graze\nIn the laziest ways.\nWhat a shame you're the worst workaholic.", "id": 20573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The gorilla, I feared, might escape\u2014\nHer enclosure's in pretty bad shape.\nNow her door is ajar,\nAnd it's missing a bar.\nWhen the zookeeper hears, he'll go ape!", "id": 20574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My pet is a jet-colored boa:\nMost affectionate snake that I know-a.\nI am naming her Beth.\nShe could hug me to death,\nThough she's currently nibbling my toe-a.", "id": 20575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Is the cat-burglar's lawsuit a goof?\nHe had tumbled off somebody's roof.\nIn his injury suit,\nHe'll exhibit his loot,\nPartly meeting his burden of proof.", "id": 20576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Why be wary and chary of lairs?\nYou might happen to nap, unawares.\nSo beware, as you should,\nAs you wend through the wood,\nLest you end up the supper of bears.", "id": 20577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A brigand was crossing a moat\nWhile encased in a brigandine coat\u2014\nThat's a flexible mail\nMade of chain or of scale\u2014\nBut the fool had expected to float!", "id": 20578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Please explain why the opposite sex\nRarely acts in the way one expects.\n'Iggins mainly complains\nThat the feminine brain's\nSo bewild'ringly strange and complex.", "id": 20579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When she's thin, anorexic, and gaunt,\nTake your date to a French restaurant.\nIt impresses her when you\nLook over the menu,\nAnd offer, \"Whatever you want.\"", "id": 20580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the crankiest sort of a person\nIs in need of around-the-clock nursin',\nDoes his body repair\nWith persistence and care,\nBut his crankiness steadily worsen?", "id": 20581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Agrypnias (wanting for slumber)\nOn occasion my nighttimes encumber.\nWhen it bugs me to wake,\nThere are drugs that I take:\nAgrypnotics too daunting to number.", "id": 20582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Use this recipe, no doubt about 'er,\nWhen you're fixing to mix up black powder:\nAdd sulfur, saltpeter\nTo charcoal and beat 'er\nTo make all your muskets much louder.", "id": 20583, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That camel's a lawyer who meant\nHis intentions to mis-represent.\nSo lately, not leastly,\nSaid beastie's been beastly\nIn sticking his nose within tent.", "id": 20584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Baccivorous birds biting berries\nCould cheerfully choke chewing cherries,\nBut detest the idea\nOf \"Cherry Garcia\",\nThat deadly ice cream (Ben and Jerry's).", "id": 20585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Old India once was its source,\nSo, of course, we set course there, perforce.\nWe traveled there afta\nA baft or a bafta:\nA cloth, woven cotton, wove coarse.", "id": 20587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What's a fruit that's incredibly small,\nNearly round in the shape of a ball,\nWhose definitive hue\nIs a dark shade of blue?\nZounds! A blueberry's name says it all!", "id": 20588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I fail to define what I feel,\nAs my koi has become someone's meal!\nWhat so heartless and cold fish\nHas eaten my goldfish?\nSome alli-gar, pike-fish or eel.", "id": 20589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As Marie Antoinette's final meal,\nWhen the guillotine's shadow was real,\nFor the words that she spake,\nDid they let her eat cake\nOn the grounds of the fortress Bastille?", "id": 20590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If your pockets are not very deep,\nBaltic Avenue's price isn't steep:\nSixty dollars to buy\u2014\nBut you have to ask \"Why?\"\nSince its four-dollar rent is so cheap.", "id": 20591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Baltic Avenue's ready for sale,\nBut Monopoly dice sometimes fail.\nSeems I'm headed for troubles:\nConsecutive doubles\nHave sent me directly to jail.", "id": 20592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You've got only yourself to be blamin'\nIf you're lost near the Magnum Foramen:\nAt the base of the skull,\nThe opisthion's dull,\nSo the basion point's where we're aimin'.", "id": 20593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A ballistospore shooting away\nFrom a fungal basidium may\nGo three meters or more.\nFor a sexual spore,\nThat seems quite an impressive display.", "id": 20594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Anaphia's lack of sensation.\nYou're anaptic, to Doc's consternation.\nAnaesthesia to touch\nShouldn't please ya too much,\nSo you're under prolonged observation.", "id": 20595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "All the demons who shrieked at me vied,\nToo insanely inflamed to subside.\nThey had fires to sustain\nIn the gyres of my brain,\nWhile my angels tried vainly to hide.", "id": 20596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our athlete, a high-jumping star,\nWas performing a bit below par\nAfter drinking for sport;\nNow I'm sad to report\nThat he's coming up short of the bar.", "id": 20597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bona fide bounder named Max\nHad committed unspeakable acts,\nSo his good, faithful wife\nHas improved him for life:\nHe's been bonified using an axe.", "id": 20598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The barber who shaved me I bade\nTo use clippers instead of a blade.\nHe did bid me abide,\nBut the blood down one side\nMade me flee, being fearful' afraid.", "id": 20599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When he's tossed for a loss that's so utter,\nWill the billy goat bitterly mutter,\n\"My defeat is complete\u2014\nI've been totally beat\nBy a goat who's a much better butter!\"?", "id": 20600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"In this bog be th' biggest o' bugs,\"\nSays the beggar, who bags 'em and shrugs,\n\"I'll be baggin' a few\nFor to stick in me stew.\nThey're just bound to be better'n slugs!\"", "id": 20601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What appears apodeictically true\nAnd self-evident-seeming\u2014to you\u2014\nIs entirely wrong,\nAs we knew all along,\nSince you haven't a shred of a clue.", "id": 20602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Kangaroos as a rule are quite mild;\nWhen they congregate, though, they get riled.\nTheir behavior is bad\nWhen they're so hopping mad:\nThey form barneys (or mobs) and go wild.", "id": 20603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "This humble white powder, real cheap,\nThat's so versatile offers a heap\nOf wonderful, handy\nAnd really jim-dandy\nAmazing ideas to reap.", "id": 20604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Asphyxy\u2014your life could be ended.\nYou're not breathing as Nature intended\nDue to drowning or gas,\nBut what might save your ass:\nAnimation is only suspended.", "id": 20605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This grade from the school takes the cake, boss!\nIt's gotta be someone's mistake 'cause\nYour idiot son\nNever got an A-1.\nPerhaps it's a note to buy steak sauce!", "id": 20606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Before my two daughters turned twenty,\nI agonized over them plenty.\nAlthough rough, I give thanks\nThat I've since joined the ranks\nOf the \"bringing-up-teens cognoscenti.\"", "id": 20607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While ahold of my wife on the phone,\nIn the background I heard a man moan.\nAll the while she was speaking,\nI heard the bed creaking.\nI'm thinking she wasn't alone!", "id": 20608, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To my son, half asleep on the floor:\n\"All day long it's been chore after chore.\nI have cooked.  I have cleaned.\nI have worked like a fiend.\nWould it kill you to answer the door?!\"", "id": 20609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Exclamation points?  I think they rock\nWhen expressing surprise, awe, or shock.\nThey convey, too, that noise on\nThe tongues of the Khoisan\u2014\nThat click that's now written as \" ! \".", "id": 20610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The beehive at first was created\nSo thousands of bees could be crated.\nIt's a place where high-grade\nNatural honeycomb's made,\nOr a hairstyle that's grossly outdated.", "id": 20611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Many people think bearskins are hokey,\nYet artisans working in Skokie\nWill spend a whole week\nMaking each one unique.\n(It's a lifetime commitment for Smokey.)", "id": 20612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All the bedsheets would blow in the breeze\nOn our clothesline attached to two trees.\nHuge white sails, they would fly\n'Gainst the blue of the sky\nIn the summer.  (Come winter, they'd freeze.)", "id": 20613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A slow-witted friend of mine, Nick,\nWithout doubt's an abderite, a hick.\nFrom Abdera he hails,\nA place famous for tales\nOf the locals, all thought to be thick.", "id": 20614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The revered Bank of England's discreet\nWhen with other world banks they compete.\nThey show fiscal restraint\nAnd their nickname is quaint:\n\"The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street.\"", "id": 20615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acne keloid's a constant attack\u2014\nFolliculitis that keeps coming back.\nIt's more likely to wreck\nThe back of your neck\nIf you're male and you're Asian or Black.", "id": 20616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Re: Acne hypertrophica, I'm\nHere to offer you comfort in rhyme.\nWhile it's true that it mars\nYour complexion with scars\nThat are raised, they regress over time.", "id": 20617, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "George Bush seeks a cure to provide a\nRespite from his acne albida.\nHe frowns, shakes his fists\nAt his keratin cysts:\nHis own personal facial al-Qaeda.", "id": 20618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Pomade acne is prone to attack\nMen whose foreheads and temples are black.\nYou can get this when you\nPut that goo on your do.\nNot too much now, Jack.  Cut it some slack!", "id": 20619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've got tropical acne?  You're sunk!\nPimples cover your shoulders and trunk.\nA product of sweating,\nIt's clear that you're getting\nLess sex than your average monk.", "id": 20620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When iodide acne befell me,\nMy doctors were trying to tell me\nThey strongly suspected\nThat I had injected\nThis poison, but what would impel me?!", "id": 20622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Simple acne atrophica:  zits\nWith residual scarring and pits.\nBut if you've got petrol-\neum acne, poor soul,\nFrom your job at the pumps, call it quits.", "id": 20623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've a zit on your face or your back\nFrom a halogen acne attack.\nThe cause of that pimple\nCould not be more simple:\nIt's exposure to halogens, Mack.", "id": 20624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He's been calling you \"Babe\" all this week?\nAnd it's clear that he loves your physique?\nWhile your attributes blind him,\nPerhaps you remind him\nOf a little pink pig who can speak.", "id": 20625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since my mom is a nursing home resident,\nWe don't talk about booty.  I'm hesitant.\nThe subject's complex\nSince this term, meaning \"sex,\"\nFirst arose back when Coolidge was president.", "id": 20626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Eddie Albert could charm and enthrall\nWith his acting skills, but think of all\nSitcoms' movers and shakers,\nThen consider \"Green Acres,\"\nAnd it's Arnold the Pig you'll recall.", "id": 20627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Exclamation points?  Here is the score on\nTheir chatroom abuse:  if you pour on\nThese marks without end\nAs in \"Hey, lady friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\"\nAll you're saying is, \"I am a moron.\"", "id": 20628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bull's-eye's a lantern, my friends,\nWith, on one side, a very thick lens\nThat will concentrate light.\nNow, for meanings tonight,\nThis is not where the list of them ends.", "id": 20629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bull's-eye's a cloud, small and round\nWith a center that's ruddy.  It's found\nTo portend stormy weather\nBy sailors, together\nWith like-minded folks on the ground.", "id": 20630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With a bush hammer, masons can make\nStone that's dressed. With each swing that they take,\nRows of pyramid teeth\nCrush the granite beneath.\nIn the home, they can tenderize steak.", "id": 20631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Belly dancers, for tips, come to my row;\nA dervish now spins like a gyro.\nWe're dining in style\nOn the banks of the Nile\nIn the \"mother of towns\", Egypt's Cairo.", "id": 20632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Avatar means a godhead's descent\nAs a mortal on earth, bless'd event.\nNow when avatar's spoken,\nIt's merely a token:\nMotif on a message you've sent.", "id": 20633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and SheilaB", "limerick": "Mr. Peanut lived next to a mouse,\nAnd the prejudiced rodent would grouse.\n\"Damned neighbor,\" he'd mutter,\n\"I'm a peanut-abutter,\nSo I'm leaving and selling my house.\"", "id": 20634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've got 50-odd types of bacteria,\nA virus just flown in from Syria,\nPlus drugs from the street,\nAnd some \"mystery meat.\"\nOh, the joys of a school cafeteria!", "id": 20635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "Alfalfa sprouts taste just like grass,\nYet vegan folks think they're first-class.\nA nice little crunch\nTo add to your lunch \u2014\nA healthy, spaghetti-like mass.", "id": 20636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Only one thing enhanced her libido:\nAn anonymous man in a Speedo.\nThus the guy that she wed\nWore his swimsuit to bed,\nPlus a mask to remain incognito.", "id": 20637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "When the finch wanted breakfast to eat,\nShe alit on the lawn for her treat;\n'Twas a morning for mowing,\nSo the gard'ner got going,\nAnd a crunching was heard\u2014shredded tweet.", "id": 20638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Is it banquet?  Or maybe banquette?\nFor a banquet, buffets would be set,\nWhile banquette's a wood shelf\nOn buffets\u2014watch yourself!\nEat the latter, what gastric regret!", "id": 20639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mathematics professor McWhite\nMoaned, \"Although it's not ethically right,\nI leave work to my subs,\nGo to comedy clubs,\nAnd appear there each Open Mike Nite.\"", "id": 20640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "He said to his kids at his side,\n\"When I'm gone trust my will to provide.\"\nBut, so sad to mention,\nThere was some ademption:\nHe'd spent the whole lot 'fore he died.", "id": 20641, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My doctor's cacography stinks!\nHe does not write as well as he thinks.\nWhen writing out script,\nAll coherence is stripped,\nAnd it only gets worse when he drinks.", "id": 20642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bull's-eye's a disk made of glass\nIn a roof through which sunlight may pass,\nOr Aldebaran bright,\nThe Bull's eye in the night.\nIs that possible?  You bet your ass!", "id": 20643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a knob or protuberance left\nBy the pipe of a glass-blower deft.\nSince hand-blown, you would know it;\nThe bull's-eye would show it.\nFor nice pieces, guard against theft.", "id": 20644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A circular opening's right\nFor the passage of air or of light.\nIt might be an oval.\nOne over a stove'll\nMake kitchens, once dark, very bright.", "id": 20645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was feeling more terror than lust\nWhen two breasts through my doorway were thrust.\nFive feet tall, four feet wide,\nThey were pushing inside,\nAnd then someone cried out, \"It's a bust!\"", "id": 20646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"A most grisly campaign, it is written,\nWas the nightmarish Blitz on Great Britain!\nWhen attacks from the air\nBrought on death and despair....\"\nThat's enough for tonight.  G'night, Kitten.", "id": 20647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I counselled my teenage son, Fritz,\n\"Eating chocolate will not give you zits.\nBut a source acnegenic\nThat's truly authentic?\nOily skin, son, is truly the pits!\"", "id": 20650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Of Dean Acheson, often it's said\nHe had influence deep and widespread\nIn affairs of the State,\nAnd while most thought him great,\nJoe McCarthy declared, \"He's a Red!\"", "id": 20651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When poisoned, a bezoar's the cure\nBut not one you'd want to endure.\nIt's a stone from the gut\nOf a ruminant, but\nIts use remains slightly obscure.", "id": 20652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Antonio ventured beyond\nFriendship's usual charge to respond\nTo Bassanio's request,\nFor, at Shylock's behest,\nHe committed his flesh to a bond.", "id": 20653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "So Bassanio (not lender but spender)\nWas furnished with ducats and splendour.\nTo Belmont he sailed,\nWith his purpose unveiled:\nFor Portia to be a contender.", "id": 20654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The caskets were gold, silver, lead,\nBringing joy, trepidation and dread.\nTwo princes chose poorly;\nBassanio demurely\nUnlocked his love's portrait instead.", "id": 20655, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For a track star, high hurdles are tough\nWhen you're 300 pounds in the buff.\nWhen I'm sprinting, they say,\n\"Put your stopwatch away,\nSince a calendar's more than enough.\"", "id": 20656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Two serpents, named Brendan and Brandon,\nFiling lawsuits with reckless abandon,\nSlithered slickly in court,\nWhile alleging some tort,\nBut still lost, having no leg to stand on.", "id": 20657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A multi-legg'd creature was seen,\nSprouting wires from its ears\u2014a machine?\nThen it put down its tripod\nAnd took off its iPod,\nLeaving merely a bipedal teen.", "id": 20658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "If your table has wheels that are squeaking,\nAnd a lubricant for them you're seeking,\nYou will find what works best\nIn your medicine chest:\nCastor oil (in a manner of speaking).", "id": 20661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a trial of our love and emotion\nThat attests to our faithful devotion:\nI've been waiting all year\nIn my flat, over here,\nWhile my bonnie lies over the ocean.", "id": 20662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "At your urging\u2014your urgent behest\u2014\nI've bequeathed your requested bequest.\nTime will tell, I expect,\nIf my Will, in effect,\nWorks your will in the way you have guessed.", "id": 20663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A trout who'd been scouting about\nFor a route to get out of a drought\nFound a gully awash\u2014\nAn arroyo, by gosh!\u2014\nSo he followed his snout and got out.", "id": 20664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a portly reporter named Mort,\nGone to court to report on a tort,\nHeard the bailiff shout, \"Order!\"\nHe'd order a porter,\nA stout, or a snort of some Port.", "id": 20665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your mom the alpaca's a nut,\nAlways wiggling her wooly old butt.\nAnd she's smutty enough\nWhen she's strutting her stuff,\nSince yo' mama the llama's a slut.", "id": 20666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The Date Line's not straight pole to pole.\nIt skirts Caroline Island. The goal?\nKiribati's now one\nNation under the sun\u2014\nNudging east of this pristine atoll.", "id": 20667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The anthropoglot climbed a rung,\nTransfixed by our speech as he hung,\nAnd with eyes and ears clung\nTo each word said or sung\u2014\nClever parrot, to speak in our tongue!", "id": 20668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I've found it extremely provoking\nTo do business with someone in broking.\nWhen he loses my money\nMy mood isn't sunny,\nAnd curses are what I'm invoking.", "id": 20669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I think calories don't really matter;\nIt's coincidence I'm getting fatter.\nI will eat what I please,\nNo more carrots and peas;\nNow just candy and cake on my platter.", "id": 20670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Michael just beat the rap for a crime,\nSo he's free and won't have to do time.\nThough his fame seems to last,\nAlas; big hits are past,\nSo he'll lip-sync to \"Beat It\" in mime.", "id": 20671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "'Fore unpacking my Sylvia Plath,\nI noticed the maid missed on math:\n\"The amenities should\nInclude two soaps; please would\nThis hotel provide one for the bath.\"", "id": 20672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The airbag went whoosh when she crashed\u2014\nSaved her life, which had almost been dashed.\nAs cops rushed to the scene,\nShe avowed she'd stay clean,\nAs she prayed they'd not find drugs she'd stashed.", "id": 20673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Such balderdash! You got attention\nFor entries that lacked all invention.\nThe contest rules stink\nIf your piffle wins ink;\nIn a just world, they'd not be worth mention.", "id": 20674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Repeat history? Where's the incentive?\nFor forgetfulness, I've a preventive:\nI keep diaries, logs,\nJournals, records and blogs.\nOddly, some say I'm annal-retentive.", "id": 20675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Showy clusters of florets their fame\n(Red or yellow), with long stalky frame.\nIf well-versed, you might know\nThey're Gaillardia, though\nBlanket flower's a more common name.", "id": 20676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "In texting, BG is \"big grin\".\nBut in disco days, oh, way back when,\nThe Bee Gees hit heights\nFevered Saturday nights\nWhen we danced 'neath the mirror-ball spin.", "id": 20677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "So... the moral that might be obtained\nFrom those bigots, by love unrestrained?\nThrough such prejudiced folks,\nShakespeare shows us, with jokes,\nHow a tolerant world is less pained.", "id": 20678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Hannah, whose yellow bandanna\nIs the hue of a ripened banana,\nHas arrived in a room,\nShe dispels all the gloom:\nShe's the sunniest gal in Montana!", "id": 20679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The groundskeepers oftentimes shirk,\nSo the bocce ball player's berserk.\nEvery ball that he'll roll\nSimply falls in a hole.\nIt's so botchy, these gardeners' work.", "id": 20680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Mine's the bench he'd a penchant to find\nIn the dim of his criminal mind.\nNot a brain, he'd maintain\nThat my dog and my cane\nFurnished proof that my justice was blind.", "id": 20681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An acute little triangle, Claire,\nGave up dating that square in despair.\nIt was really no use:\nHe was much too obtuse,\nAnd too straight for a sordid affair.", "id": 20682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Not a trace of my ant could be found,\nSo I looked at the waffles and frowned.\nThings went swimmingly well,\n'Til she stumbled and fell\nIn the syrup, and tragically drowned.", "id": 20683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the ghost (apparition) had neared,\nShe was nearly as weird as we feared.\nWe could scarcely detect her,\nAnd didn't expect her:\nA spectre who jeeringly sneered.", "id": 20684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since his practice is starting to burgeon,\nDr. Ken is resistin' the urgin'\nFrom Barbie to switch\nFrom the specialty which\nHas been making him rich: plastic surgeon.", "id": 20685, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Falling overboard wasn't the fault\nOf a sure-footed sea-dog named Walt.\nHe'd have drowned in the brine,\nBut we tossed him a line.\nWhat a brackishly waterlogged salt!", "id": 20686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A breakwater jutting from land\nGives the shoreline a chance to expand,\nAnd a beach will be built\nOf alluvial silt,\nAs the waves don't erode all the sand.", "id": 20687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bullish investor grows mulish,\nWatching stocks going up as-a-rule-ish.\nHis portfolio's biggish;\nHe's stubbornly piggish,\nAnd holds after prices get foolish.", "id": 20688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since a feline is apt to forget\nWho's the master and who is the pet,\nMy cat, named Catastrophe,\nHas caused a disastrophe\u2014\nThe worst, most calamitous yet.", "id": 20689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While spelunking, I got quite a scare,\nWhen I chanced on an animal's lair.\nI had squeezed though a crack,\nBut was taken aback\nFinding barely 'nuff room for the bear.", "id": 20690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ought Josephine, feeling all randy,\nTo have brought her Napoleon brandy?\nWould his spirits have lifted\nIf lovingly gifted\nWith old liquor the Empress kept handy?", "id": 20691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "She abides on the floor of the ocean,\nKept alive by a magical potion.\nWith the shape of a whale\nFrom her waist to her tail,\nShe's a benthic enchantment in motion.", "id": 20692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A brassy young bugler named Leo\nWas soloing O Sole Mio.\n\"An' a one, an' a two,\"\nHe began, and then blew,\nIn a lively allegro con brio.", "id": 20694, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The deft little felon was thwarted,\nHis theft of a melon reported.\nEvery seller could tell\nFrom that melony smell\nThat a felony must be aborted.", "id": 20695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will angels go forth on the Earth\nTo herald the forthcoming birth\nWith the blast of a horn\nWhen that litter is born?\nDo you know what those puppies are worth?", "id": 20697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bug who was struggling to climb\nBecame wrapped in the sap of a lime.\nNow trapped in mid-clamber,\nThe climber's in amber,\nA fossil of paleo time.", "id": 20698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Buddhasana, seated,\" I told her,\n\"Puts your calf 'cross the back of your shoulder.\nClasp your hands right behind it\nTo hold it and bind it.\"\n(Gets harder the more I grow older.)", "id": 20699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bumblebee, glumly gone slumming,\nFinding hummingbirds' hum un-bee-coming,\nSang, \"I humbly bee-seech you,\nPermit me to teach you\nThe words, as your humming's bee-numbing!\"", "id": 20700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a tunnel all gloomy and black,\nLittle beasties ran loose on the track.\nWas it a bat I saw?\nWas it a rat I saw\nScurrying forward and back?", "id": 20701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The highway that takes us from hence\nRuns a ways alongside of my fence.\nThen the road that we're on\nCurves from hither to yon,\nAnd forgetfulness takes us from thence.", "id": 20702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "But \u2014 \"I will have my bond!\" Shylock cried,\nFor his bloodlust would not be denied.\nDebt unpaid, he would menace\nThe merchant of Venice,\nAvenging his spat-upon pride.", "id": 20703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "In court, with his balance and knife,\nHe was poised to take justice and life\nAnd to weigh out his fresh\nPound of fair, promised flesh,\nThough the cries of \"Sweet mercy!\" were rife.", "id": 20704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "But Portia (that doctor renowned)\nRuled that mercy, unstrained, could be found\nIn the bond, for no flood\nOf that life-fluid, blood,\nWas, along with the flesh, fully bound.", "id": 20705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "My button-eared pup, you need scolding!\nThose ears, flopping forwards and folding,\nShould listen! I'll nuzzle\nYour blunt little muzzle\nAnd sniff you. You're perfect for holding.", "id": 20706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Me cousin from Currajong said,\n\"You know me ol' man, Uncle Fred?\nWell, I'm sad to report\nHe's your ex-uncle, sport,\n'Cos he's carked it. He's cactus. He's dead.\"", "id": 20707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bato", "limerick": "I'll attempt to explain my position\nAfter many long hours of revision;\nI try to keep writing,\nBut line 5 keeps fighting\nTo spoil my chance with this mission.", "id": 20708, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Anthocyanin lends a red hue\nTo a berry shake (smoothie, to you).\nBut cooked, it disperses,\nTurns purple (oh, curses!),\nUnless there's an acid mixed through.", "id": 20710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I offered a trip; she said, \"No.\nThere are places that I'll never go.\nVenues strange, can't abide;\nI feel safer inside\u2014\nAgoraphobically, still status quo.\"", "id": 20711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Believers say, \"Let us now pray.\"\nSay atheists, \"There's just no way!\"\nBut not at all certain\nWhat lies past life's curtain,\nAgnostics interpret in gray.", "id": 20712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In the cookoff, I lost the grand prize\nDespite perfect banana cream pies.\nThough the fruit was just ripe,\nSeems the judge had a gripe\u2014\nSome Chiquita once fed him all lies.", "id": 20713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As she steps from the shade near a tree,\nHe can see her shirt's sheer as can be.\n\"Chiffon's thin; it needs backing,\"\nHe murmurs, \"You're lacking\nIn modesty to a degree.\"", "id": 20714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In tables periodic, we find\nAu (meaning gold) on our mind.\nIt's from aurum in Latin,\nAnd here in Manhattan\nThe pursuit  of it often is blind.", "id": 20715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Miss Piggy, to Kermit: \"We're through.\nRemember, it's me; it's not you.\nBut that boar with the Benz\nHas become . . . more than friends.\nSo, Green Fella, not much you can do.\"", "id": 20716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An odd guy joined our game and he'd greet all\nThe players but looked like he'd cheat all.\nWhen we played Texas hold 'em,\nAll night he'd just fold 'em,\nNot raisin'. Now shucks, don't that beat all?", "id": 20717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A poor miner brought ore he possessed\nTo assayers who said, \"We suggest\nThat we acid test  that;\nIn a few seconds flat,\nIf it is gold you'll know you've been blessed.\"", "id": 20718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm accruing a crew for my yacht.\nWe will sail around Crete when it's hot.\nThen the crew that accrues\nCan soon queue for the views\nOf the isles they say time forgot.", "id": 20720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My darling (the one this concerns),\nAs ever, my heart aches and yearns\nAnd my migraine's come on,\nEver since you've been gone\nTo the big house (hard time, no returns).", "id": 20721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Acroscopic means facing up towards\nThe apex where\u2014oh!\u2014I see hordes\nOf aphids descending.\nBug spraying's now pending;\nCan't let those bugs munch on my gourds.", "id": 20722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A  Basque shepherd would bask in the sun\nWhen his tasks with his sheep were all done.\nHe would lead them to graze,\nAnd then he would raise\nHis flask and have lunch on the run.", "id": 20723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "To hype slipshod goods to excess,\nSome ballyhoo just might impress\nThose who don't pay attention\nOr lack comprehension\nThat our products are really a mess.", "id": 20724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "That poor girl! If acceptance she seeks,\nShe shouldn't break into old cliques.\nTo preserve their mystique,\nThese \"friends\" trash-talk the weak,\nThinking power with backbiting peaks.", "id": 20725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"This car gives you bang for your buck,\"\nSaid the salesman, \"And boy, you're in luck!\nWhat a beaut\u2014I'm sincere!\nMight not run, might not steer,\nBut it's cheap if you trade in your truck.\"", "id": 20726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm so mad I could just go ballistic;\nGot the bill from this quack (he's holistic).\nAll his herbs and his pills\nDidn't help\u2014call that skills?\n(But at least it's not cancer, it's cystic.)", "id": 20727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "We've been paying this loan off for years,\nBut forgot a big lump sum appears.\nOur balloon payment  lurks,\nA last payment the clerks\nWill collect so we're not in arrears.", "id": 20728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm auditing classes for free.\nNo papers, no tests\u2014not for me.\nIf my teachers don't praise me,\nIt won't even faze me,\nBut it's no way to earn a degree.", "id": 20729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An air lock's where spacemen converse\nIn that place between bad and what's worse,\nWhen aliens invade\nTheir plagued ship and hopes fade,\nUnless they can mend that [add curse].", "id": 20730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "These succulent plants can defend\nThemselves well from a premature end.\nThe sharp spines on their leaves\nWill deter most plant thieves;\nWith agaves, crooks cannot contend.", "id": 20731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The barysphere: too hot to go,\nThough Jules Verne would vacation below,\nIn the core of the Earth\nWhere the planet gives birth\nTo volcanoes and smooth lava flow.", "id": 20732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm relieved that I earned my BD,\nBut divinity school's not for me.\nI prayed only for grades;\nNever took off my shades\u2014\nThink for grad school I'll try MIT.", "id": 20733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'm incensed and I'm bent out of shape!\nWhen you filmed us, you promised that tape\nWas for you, not the Net!\nPlease\u2014I want to forget,\nBut my fans will not let me escape.", "id": 20734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "On a ladder don't step on a crack\nOr else bad luck is bound to attack.\nAnd a sidewalk don't let\nCross your path\u2014better yet\u2014\nDon't walk under a cat if it's black.", "id": 20735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The bag lady carried two bags\nWith all her possessions; most, rags.\nThe bags' weight dragged her down,\nBut more reason to frown:\nBeing homeless and poor are such drags.", "id": 20736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A person can get in a jam\nWhen in love with amour (as I am).\nOnce I thought being amorous\nMade life much more glamorous,\nBut with five beaux to please, it's a sham.", "id": 20737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's Superbowl Sunday, and chips\nWill be plunged into millions of dips.\nAvocado I crave,\nBut no limes?  This is grave!\nFetch some quickly, before Janet strips.", "id": 20738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Those damned pigeons again, in the yard!\nI'll kill 'em and roast 'em till charred!\nThey're disgusting, unclean!\nSo henceforth, my routine\nWill be blasting them while you stand guard.", "id": 20740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "There's this force, keeps me down: I despair\nBecause gravity gives me a scare.\nI'm a true barophobic\nWhile on this old globe\u2014ick!\nI'd rather float weightless through air.", "id": 20741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "New York? Well, I won't venture there,\nThough I love it, or used to\u2014I swear!\nEvery skyscraper's height\nNow sparks fear, not delight;\nBatophobia breeds this despair.", "id": 20742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An old ambulance chaser sped out\nWhen he heard a big crash near about.\nQuickly passing out cards,\nHe avoided  two guards\nWho yelled, \"Scram, you insensitive tout!\"", "id": 20743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Betcha anyone could be our voice.\nFind a guy with charisma; our choice\nCould be coached to win votes,\nSpeak in quotable quotes\u2014\nHow 'bout that guy? Will voters rejoice!", "id": 20745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Some aliens landed nearby\nAnd borrowed our neighbor, old Sy.\nThey returned him intact,\nBut tattooed with exact\nInstructions for shipping by sky.", "id": 20746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It beggars description, this poem,\nThough it's brief (just five lines), not a tome.\nCritics cannot describe\nAll its wit (want a bribe?)\nBut might start with, \"Don't try this at home.\"", "id": 20748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I blaspheme; you can't call me devout.\nI'm impious; of that, there's no doubt.\nBut oh wait! Got that wrong\u2014\nIn my faith, I'm quite strong!\n(If I'm not, White House breakfasts are out.)", "id": 20749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The Christians are split by a chasm:\nHere Romans, there Greeks. Where the azym-\nous bread has no yeast,\nGreeks don't mind in the least.\nSo, the true taste of Christ \u2014 which one has 'im?", "id": 20750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "When Abiah bore Ashur, she cried.\nShe was lonely, no man by her side.\n\"Ay, sure, the day's black,\nHezron...wish you were back.\"\nBut her dear doting husband had died.", "id": 20751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Your fitness regime may be hectic\nAnd your food fitly filling and pectic.\nIf the state of your bod\nIs still bad, they're a fraud;\nIf they worked, they'd be anticachectic.", "id": 20752, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Though I'm bone tired and feeling quite sick,\nSince you're here, there's a bone I must pick\nWith you, as your kid\nThrew a rock and then hid.\nFix the glass.  As for him, use this stick.", "id": 20754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Arame (that's seaweed, to you)\nCan be stir-fried to feed a whole crew.\nAs a side dish with fish,\nSome will say it's delish,\nBut tonight I'd prefer a fondue.", "id": 20755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "He was diagnosed when an adult,\nAnd the onset was partly his fault.\nHe was quite overweight\nAnd his stress level great\u2014\nDiabetes, the awful result.", "id": 20756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Puppeteers in Japan deftly move\nComplex wooden-limbed puppets; now you've\nLearned Bunraku's esteem\nFlows from culture and theme,\nAnd from artistry patrons approve.", "id": 20757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Brassica genus includes\nCruciferous veggies; such foods\nMight help to fight cancer\n(Fresh broccoli's one answer),\nBut cabbage in my house starts feuds.", "id": 20758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Every year in the spring, Sikhs rejoice\nOn Baisakhi Day, praising in voice\nThe renewal, rebirth\nOf the fruits of the earth,\nAnd defense through the Khalsa, Singh's choice.", "id": 20759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If your foreskin's intact, keep it dry\nUnderneath.  (I don't mean to imply\nThat a man should be cut,\nBut balanitis is what\nGuys might get if they fail to comply.)", "id": 20760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Some plants, for protection, have barbs,\nLike some cacti with spines or spiked garbs.\nBut a barbed remark's worse\nWhen deliberate and terse,\nSuch as \"looks like you bulked up on carbs.\"", "id": 20761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "See that actress (the peach-colored blouse)?\nI'm so proud of my thespian spouse!\nSee her diamonds and gold?\nSo much flash to behold \u2014\nShe is hoping to bling down the house.", "id": 20762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When the peasants attacked in revolt,\nI loosed, from my crossbow, a bolt,\nTook their chief in the throat,\nBut had no time to gloat\nAs I tried to escape on my colt.", "id": 20763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A bajan (when small \"b\" is seen)\nIs a freshman around Aberdeen.\nWhen the \"B\" is writ big\nThen a Bajan, you dig,\nIs Barbadian. You see what I mean?", "id": 20764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My vulture encountered a snag\nAt the terminal gate, when a wag\nFrom security vowed\nThat no birds were allowed\nOn the plane with a carrion bag.", "id": 20765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My cart, at the rear of my mule,\nHas two wheels and no springs, whereas you'll\nFind four wheels on my wagon.\nIn both I've a flagon\nOf wine, to provide me with fuel.", "id": 20766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "geekwraith", "limerick": "There once was a lass from Nantucket\nWho'd sit with a chicken and bucket.\nThe biddy would squall\nAnd the maiden would bawl\nFor the still-living bird, as she'd pluck it.", "id": 20767, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "When you bring home the bacon, you strain\nTo support the adored ball and chain.\nIf you leave out the bacon\n(If I'm not mistaken)\nBring home means \"make perfectly plain\".", "id": 20768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "If you want to hawk goods with aplomb\nTo each modern Dick, Harry or Tom,\nWe have ad space for sale\nOn our website.   Just mail\nMe@internetadverts.com.", "id": 20769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I've conceded; we fell a bit short.\nMy opponent slung mud; your support\nReally helped me get through it.\n(I blew it!) I'll rue it\u2014\nI'll sue and I'll see him in court.", "id": 20771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "\"Will we marry soon?\" quacked mallard Cyrus,\nBut of patience Lorraine was desirous.\n\"We'll feather our mud nest\nRight after a blood test\nTo make sure you don't carry that virus.\"", "id": 20772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Since arena stage lacks a proscenium,\nPerformance space comes at a premium.\nAlso called \"in-the-round\",\nA lead role it has found\nAs theater's  alternative medium!", "id": 20773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and Seth Brown", "limerick": "We had stopped off to buy lemonade,\nBut my friends grabbed the drinks once I'd paid.\nTray in hand, I was left\nOf refreshment bereft;\nQuite un-aded, though I was betrayed.", "id": 20774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "To glaze your pots, biscuit or bisque\nIn the kiln first, to cut down the risk\nThat the clay may deform\nIn the glaze, wet and warm,\nAnd your bowl could end up as a disc.", "id": 20775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The Food Police say it is folly\nTo gorge on the stuff we deem jolly.\nEach day we must eat\nVeggie servings, like beet,\nCarrots, cantaloupe, cabbage and cauli.", "id": 20776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Ever heard of the white cliffs of Dover?\nNot the best place to build Casa Nova!\nCaCO3\nCrumbles badly, you see,\nSo your new house could soon tumble over.", "id": 20777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There was an old man with a beard \u2014\nTufts of bristles from wheat he had sheared\nThat he glued on his face\nFor a look to embrace\nOn a wacko who's weirdly wheat-eared.", "id": 20778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Carry on,\" said the crow, \"let's not lag.\nPlease inspect my valise and don't gag!\nYes, that's roadkill: a stack\nThat I packed for a snack\nOn the flight\u2014in my carrion bag.\"", "id": 20779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A calendar serves as a list\nOf your every appointment (and tryst).\nSo peruse it each day\nTo see what's on the way\u2014\nOr lament all the stuff that you've missed.", "id": 20780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bambini are yearlings or tots,\nAnd we smiles when we sees them a lots;\nBut they leaves us aghast,\nEver growing too fast.\nSoon they're teens, and we just wants to plotz.", "id": 20781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You've been casing your water supply,\nAnd discovered the place is bone dry.\nSince this wide-open space is\nWithout an oasis,\nYou're facing the place that you'll die.", "id": 20782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The sound of the waves as they pound\nOn the beaches of Long Island Sound,\nRolling 'round and around,\nMake the sadness profound,\nRecollecting the night that you drowned.", "id": 20783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This abstraction's conceptu'lly neat:\nEvery tock of the clock is discrete,\nSo the universe stops,\nWhile each particle hops\nBetween instants that simply can't meet.", "id": 20784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A creature of night is poor Audrey,\nWhose behavior's increasingly tawdry.\nHer life has a dearth\nOf true baudery (mirth)\nWhile pursuing the practice of bawdry.", "id": 20785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There's plasma we plan on obtaining\nFrom blood by the means we're explaining:\nCells and fibrin we've got\nAre removed in a clot,\nAnd blood plasma's the fluid remaining.", "id": 20786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My daisy, at first, was intact,\nEvery petal well backed by a bract.\nNow my love loves me not,\nAnd my bloom's not so hot:\nRack and ruin in one petulant act.", "id": 20787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A beaver whose hearing had flaws\nWas a student of Ancient Greek laws.\n\"Gnaw thyself,\" heard the beaver,\nWho, quite the believer,\nPhilosophically chewed off his paws.", "id": 20788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Little 'gators, I've heard the report,\nHave been making their way into court:\nNot contented to romp\nIn their neighborhood swamp,\nThey are arguing cases for sport!", "id": 20789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your chemistry quiz left you sighin'.\nGet a clue that bisulfate's implyin'\nAcid sulfate, no more\nThan an HSO4,\nUnivalent, a negative ion.", "id": 20790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The traders who work at this branch\nMade our managers visibly blanch,\nSince their currency trade,\nLosing more than it made,\nWas effectively betting the ranch.", "id": 20791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and SusanL", "limerick": "Wild 'gators alleging a tort\nHad to hightail it right out of court.\nThey had filed accusations\nWith wild allegations\u2014\nThe sort allegators report.", "id": 20792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Swarming angels so strangely appear,\nAlways yelling ideas in my ear.\nI'm in hell\u2014that's enough!\nNow they're telling me stuff\nThat a fellow so rough shouldn't hear.", "id": 20793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Acetyl CoA is required\nWhen a two-carbon fragment's desired:\nBiosyntheses that\nMake a steroid or fat\nHave such two-carbon transfers hard-wired.", "id": 20794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those gefilte fish blobs that you serve\nOn your catering jobs take some nerve,\nAs you're boiling up gobs\nOf gelatinous globs,\nWhich you offer the nobs as hors d'oeuvres.", "id": 20795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A whinny from Winnie the Horse\nIs a verse we're averse to endorse,\nAs her meter and rhyme\nFail to scan half the time.\nDoes she versify? Nay. Neigh, of course.", "id": 20796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The mediastinal geography\nWas charted with vein radiography.\nVenous blockage revealed\nWhere a tumor's concealed\nIn this process we call azygography.", "id": 20797, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a sailor who serves on a carrier\nWeds a gay divorcee, there's a barrier:\nWould his Chaplain preside\nFor a thrice-divorced bride,\nWhen he'd far rather bury than marry her?", "id": 20798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Mousie zig-zagged and scampered and ran,\nYet as soon as the mouser began,\nPrey was doomed to be caught,\nAll his efforts for naught.\nIn the end, it was catch as cat can.", "id": 20799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every man has beliefs he holds dear,\nWhere his faith is unshakably clear.\nMy belief is devout,\nWith no shadow of doubt:\nI believe that I'll order more beer.", "id": 20800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you kneel on the ground, slowly bow;\nRest the weight of your head on your brow.\nWith your knees spreading wide,\nAnd your arms to each side,\nBreathe in child's pose (balasana) now.", "id": 20801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A birthstone, when first you dropped by;\nA grindstone, your nose to apply;\nA gravestone, no doubt,\nWhen you're spirited out;\nAnd some brimstone, for after you die.", "id": 20802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "As kids we'd pitch tents in the grass.\nIn old age, aches and pains came to pass.\nBought a caravan, new,\nWith a galley and loo,\nFor this lass likes to travel in class.", "id": 20803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The American West is defined\nBy a series of peaks well aligned.\nAdams, Baker and Hood,\nThese Cascades have long stood\nWith grace, by the ages refined.", "id": 20804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Such myst'ries lie deep underground;\nIn the caverns, they'll truly astound.\nSee descending stalactites\nAnd ascending stalagmites.\nIn Carlsbad, these features abound.", "id": 20805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The hoodoos and arches arouse\nAwe and wonder; the scenery wows.\nIn the words of Eb Bryce,\nWho was clear and concise,\n\"It's a helluva place to lose cows!\"", "id": 20806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The Astoria Column regales:\nIn fine etchings are woven details\nOf the brave men who came\nTo this coastline to tame\nThe Columbia, 'midst joys and travails.", "id": 20807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "'Twas erected by British decree\nOn a reef over twelve miles asea.\nBell Rock's beacon has shone\nFrom this lighthouse of stone,\nWarning sailors that danger here be.", "id": 20808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My blinker had blinked its last blink.\nYou could say it had gone on the blink.\nSo I bought one that  works\nFrom the auto parts jerks\u2014\nWhen they winked I just gave 'em a blink.", "id": 20809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Setting off to meet Santa one year,\nLittle Jimmy had packed Arctic gear.\nCape Columbia's bend\nBrought the land to an end\u2014\nThe Americas' northern tip's here.", "id": 20810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Is the curse of Bermuda defunct,\nThe phenomena all been debunked?\nWere those planes really lost,\nOr have legends been glossed\nOf the Triangle?  Most have been junked.", "id": 20811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It's the Ape Cave: those eager young scouts\nWere first to explore the deep routes\nOf this underground span,\nWhere the lava once ran.\nNot one primate's been seen thereabouts.", "id": 20812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "When Atlantis-bound, bearing a load,\nDid the ancients walk Bimini Road?\nDid a Chinese fleet dock\nOn this pier built ad hoc?\nIt's a mystery none can decode.", "id": 20813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "See them hang by the thousands. This sight\nIn the caverns can give one a fright.\nThey are bats from Brazil\nAnd produce quite a thrill,\nWhen en masse they ascend every night.", "id": 20814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The dark in the garden. Alone.\nThe moon casts its light on the stone.\nBut the shadow that's cast\nBy the stone will outlast\nAny light that the night seems to own.", "id": 20815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When the world seems depressingly grim\nAnd distressingly filled to the brim\nWith the bile of mankind,\nCast those thoughts from your mind,\nLest the light in your eyes grow too dim.", "id": 20816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Reaching each chequered cranny and nook,\nStolid castles play chess by the book:\nLeft to right, front to back\nOn the white and the black \u2014\nThey're reliable. Some prefer rook.", "id": 20817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The horizon's renewed pinkish cast \u2014\nGentle tinge \u2014 shows that darkness is past.\nIf the dawn's not forsaken,\nThe sky will awaken.\nWe'll see how long daylight will last.", "id": 20818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though the times were the worst and the best,\nSydney Carton's bleak life was not blessed\nTill he knelt in the shade\nOf the guillotine's blade\nAnd prepared for his far better rest.", "id": 20819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When the metal's so hot that it glows\nAnd then melts (becomes fluid and flows),\nThen it's ready to cast.\nPour it quick, thick and fast,\nInto moulds, to be shaped as you chose.", "id": 20820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "So you drive an old Beemer, a stick,\nWhich you love 'cause that car looks so slick.\nBut with gas prices high,\nIt's not good to rely\nOn a car that's not cheap, light or quick.", "id": 20821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "What's to fear from a camera or three\nAnd appearing on CCTV?\nHaving every move tracked\nIs a comfort, in fact.\nWhy, the state's like a brother to me.", "id": 20822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In London, a granny named Sue\nKept a blade in the heel of her shoe.\nWhen she carved up a dame\nIn a lav, she became\nThe old woman who shivved in a loo.", "id": 20823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A guy can be handsome and hunky \u2014\nHis biceps, so brawnily chunky.\nBut without a good mind,\nHe's the link that mankind\nIs still missing from human to monkey.", "id": 20824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "In his Bentley we drove to his yacht,\nHe appraising en route what I'd got.\nWith a smile quite fluorescent,\n\"My fortune's accrescent,\"\nHe beamed. \"But yours, plainly, is not.\"", "id": 20825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "\"Don't worry, let's see that cut thumb,\"\nSays the doc with his friendly aplomb.\n\"Want it stitched?\" he then asks,\n\"Or removed?\" (Simple tasks.)\n\"Either way, needs a bandage, my chum!\"", "id": 20826, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "If you need a soft fabric of silk,\nBarathea's the choice\u2014smooth as milk.\nIt is silk mixed with cotton,\nOr wool, if you've gotten\nToo cold using cloth of light ilk.", "id": 20827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The falcons amassed in a cast\nTo enjoy a resplendent repast.\nFirst these hawks made a meal\nOf a diving of teal,\nThen a trimming of finches came last.", "id": 20829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BrownieGirl", "limerick": "When a girl has a smile she can show,\nShe's a Brownie\u2014young Guide with that glow.\nDoes she do a good turn?\nIs she eager to learn?\nAre those badges she wants you to sew?", "id": 20830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since their Savior had cleansed from within\nAny taint of original sin,\nAncient Adamites' loathing\nFor sin (and for clothing)\nWas shamelessly shown with their skin.", "id": 20831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "Well, it seems we had just gotten started,\nBut you're gone, and I'm left brokenhearted.\nIf I hadn't tattooed\nYour name there, I conclude,\nYou would not have so quickly departed.", "id": 20832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As I hold him and stroke his sparse hair, God\n(These lifeless last wisps you still dare, God,\nTo tear from my boy\nIn your lust to destroy),\nLet him feel my deep love, not despair, God.", "id": 20833, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "I sought to engrave Wizard's tool\n(With a graver) on top of this rule,\nBut I slipped, as the burin\nHad not been secure in\nMy hand. The result: Wizard's fool.", "id": 20834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "From her balcony, Juliet cried:\n\"How I wish for a man by my side!\"\n\"Soft, what light yonder breaks?\n'Tis my love that awakes\nIn my heart that which can't be denied.\"", "id": 20835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Let us stroll in that back-of-the-bar park,\nMy darling\u2014it isn't a far park.\nLook, it's right over here.\nYes, I know it's quite drear.\nNo, they're Mazdas. Okay, it's a car park.", "id": 20836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Chirpy chirpy,\" says birdie, \"cheep cheep,\"\nInterrupting my slumberful sleep.\nAll his cheeping's too chirpy,\nAnd makes me all urpy.\nYou're four hours early, you creep!", "id": 20837, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "After giving my diary a cursory\nGlance: it's a grand anniversary!\nToday it's been two\nYears of fun and to-do\nSince I entered this anapest nursery.", "id": 20838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "The last meeting's minutes were quoted,\nWith apologies for absence all noted.\n\"What's this bit of crap-sense\u2014\nAn announcement of absence?\nBut hang on a mo\u2014has he voted?\"", "id": 20839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Some childhood sounds often repeat,\nLike the boing boing of balls in the street.\nIn our ball-bouncing games,\nWe turned legs, chanted names,\nBut missed bounces would lead to defeat.", "id": 20840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "If a bright-line rule's made by a court,\nFuture issues are easy to sort:\nThey're not muddy or gray,\nBut quite clear-cut, so they\nTake less court time by keeping it short.", "id": 20841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A diagonal move, black or white,\nBut not forward or back, left or right:\nThat's a bishop in chess;\nAnd it's me, I confess,\nWhen I've drunk all the whisky in sight.", "id": 20842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Don't insist, when you talk to your teens,\nThey wear braces to hold up their jeans.\nWhile their faces sport braces\nAnd Skin Bracer traces,\nThey'll race to avoid parent screens.", "id": 20843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and SheilaB", "limerick": "Like the claws of a fierce bird of prey,\nThe thing clung to his nose that sad day.\nThe accipiter's shield\nHelped his schnoz till it healed,\nThough he looked pretty weird, truth to say.", "id": 20844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The Inverness Hags, it would seem,\nIs Macbeth's very own baseball team.\nFor them, foul is fair,\nFair is foul\u2014they don't care.\nThey're just witch hitters letting off steam.", "id": 20845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "From the beacon a sharp beam of light\nMarks an arc sweeping dark skies at night.\nIts signal gleams bright\nSo we'll navigate right\u2014\nSteering safely, with guidance in sight.", "id": 20846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A torrent, profusion, parade,\nInundation, abundance arrayed\nFor an onslaught, a surge,\nA bombardment, a splurge.\nThis collection of words? A cascade.", "id": 20847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our canoe trip was going just fine,\nWhen a supercell massed in a line.\nA derecho was loosed;\nFirst our camp was un-spruced,\nThen a blowdown left forests supine.", "id": 20848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "There once was a girl of Peru\nWho yelled, \"Rats! Now just what shall I do?\nAn acouchi just ran\nAnd jumped into my pan,\nAnd it drowned in my mulligan stew!\"", "id": 20849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As I woke from my after-lunch snooze,\nA huge monkey went off with the booze.\nA mere human I'd shoot\nAs he fled with the loot\u2014\nBut we sell barrigudos to zoos.", "id": 20850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Mom had warned her.   She now lay distraught;\nHad a breakdown when love came to naught.\nSoon, an ambulance came.\nShe still sported (the shame!)\nThe gnawed edible undies he'd bought.", "id": 20851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In Morocco, a pastry divine\nIncludes chicken and eggs, filo fine:\nSugar-cinnamon-topped,\nHot bstilla is popped\nInto mouths, but the next one's all mine.", "id": 20853, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"A  Braunschweiger sandwich again!\nMy mother must hate me!\" cried Ken.\n\"It's liverwurst, grayish,\nTastes bad, not okayish,\nI'll be good, Lord, but stop her. Amen!\"", "id": 20854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When it's \"teacher, you always are right,\"\nAnd \"thanks, boss, for saying black's white,\"\nI feel no end of grief.\nIt would be a relief\nTo get brown-nose types out of my sight.", "id": 20855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Jack's assigned a new area code,\nOstensibly, easing the load\nCaused by cellphones and faxes.\n\"But overlays,\" Jack says,\n\"Are taxing, our survey just showed.\"", "id": 20856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Al Jazeera airs Arabic views\nWith a pan-Arab take on the news.\nIts new satellite channel\nMight broadcast a panel\n'Bout war\u2014or it might light a fuse.", "id": 20857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bonaire is surrounded by park:\nAll marine reef, where dives down to dark\nAnd deep waters amaze.\nJust be sure that your gaze\nIs alert, should you meet with a shark.", "id": 20858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If it wouldn't be terribly tacky,\nCould we ask for a ride in your bakkie?\nWe could cruise to the veldt,\nLooking ruddy and svelte,\nIn a truck from the farm, wearing khaki!", "id": 20860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Cigarette and a blindfold? I've got a\nSuspicion that Meester Zapata\nHas covered my eyes\nFor a birthday surprise!\nWhere's the stick, and which way's the pi\u00f1ata?", "id": 20861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Up in heaven it's white as the snow,\nAnd the weather is hot down below.\nWhile my choice (though I ski)\nIs not one of degree,\nStill your offer of wealth I'll forgo.", "id": 20862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Off to bed in the winter we go,\nBut our shutters are broken, and so\nWinds blow in, and they spread\nO'er our covers in bed\nFrosty blanketlike layers of snow.", "id": 20863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "When Skinny Lenore pirouettes,\nThe audience always lays bets\nOn how long she can twirl\nWith her tutu a-swirl,\nWhile she's puffing on two cigarettes.", "id": 20864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit and jexia", "limerick": "Where should barium sulfate lay blame\nFor having much more than one name?\nIt's heavy spar, barite,\nBarytes and baryte.\nThey're many, but all mean the same.", "id": 20865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The view from the tower enthused me,\nBut the head of the stairway confused me.\nI misstepped at the top,\nTripped and fell, and the drop\u2014\nI went ass over teakettle\u2014bruised me.", "id": 20866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "He sets out on his trip a grotesque,\nHis adventures no mere picaresque.\nAs the pilgrim progresses,\nMy mind, I confess, is\nConfronted by things Bunyanesque.", "id": 20867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "In a queue for a cue to play pool,\nI was pushed out of line by a fool.\nBut my friend, at the table,\nWith cue butt was able\nTo strike my assailant \u2014 how cool!", "id": 20868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I've a plan to defeat fighting French;\n'Tis upon them we'll play a good blench.\nWhen they start to attack,\nWhy, we'll quickly fall back\nAnd the French we will drench in our trench.", "id": 20869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "'Tis blue chip, my  company's label,\nSo highly regarded and stable.\nHad my chips? Got the blues?\nNay, there's no way to lose.\nIt's making great profits, no fable.", "id": 20870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Acid salt has some hydrogen? True!\nAnd I'll tell you just what it can do:\nThere are things it can make\nThat can help me to bake\u2014\nBaking powder and creamer are two!", "id": 20871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kengrey", "limerick": "There once was a lonely old burbot\nWho everyone thought was a herbert,\nSo just after tea\nHe swam off to the sea\nWhere he married a fish, yes, a turbot.", "id": 20872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and DenmarK", "limerick": "The old maid emitted some cackles\nAt the game, and they raised up my hackles.\nI queried her, \"Why?\"\nShe just grinned and said, \"I\nDo adore how that linebacker tackles!\"", "id": 20873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Albari\u00f1o's a wine grape from Spain;\nMakes a crisp and dry drink that you'd drain\nFrom your glass if you sipped some,\nAnd if you had dripped some,\nNo problem 'cause white wines won't stain.", "id": 20874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "As a youngster I wore my hair braided,\nWith strands interwoven and plaited.\nBut that coif is too childish \u2014\nI need to look stylish;\nMy hairdo must now be upgraded.", "id": 20876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every second, a female gives birth,\nDropping babies for all that she's worth.\nThough her birthrate's impressive,\nIt's hardly excessive:\nThose insects lay claim to the Earth.", "id": 20877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A birdie who chattered too brightly\nHad been spied in her nightie near nightly.\nHer admirers soon flew\n(Too revealing a view!),\nAs her plumage was mighty unsightly.", "id": 20878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What's the good of a goat with a gut\nGetting utterly stuck in a rut?\nShe's a much better butter\nAbutting the gutter,\nWith neighboring shutters to butt.", "id": 20879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"A disaster!\" my\nCandid reaction\nTo the cinema's coming attraction.\nI'd enjoy a typhoon,\nOr a lovely monsoon:\nNow destruction is quite the distraction.", "id": 20880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When little Jack Horner had died,\nThe coroner took it in stride,\nAnd remarked to a mourner,\n\"He sat in his corner,\n'Til arteries clogged up inside.\"", "id": 20881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "His briefing was blessedly brief,\nHis assertions beyond all belief,\nAs the tack that he took\u2014\n\"I am hardly a crook!\"\u2014\nWas belied by his life as a thief.", "id": 20882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your relationship therapist, Vic,\nWants your eyeballs impaled on a stick.\nAsk him why, he'll reply,\n\"So you'll see eye-to-eye\nWhen agreement's a difficult trick.\"", "id": 20883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a buzzard got stuck in a blizzard,\nHe discovered no duckling nor lizard,\nAnd dejectedly saw\nHe would starve ere a thaw,\nWhich just stuck in his craw and his gizzard.", "id": 20884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the love of her life took a wife,\nShe was striving to live without strife.\n'Twas in vain that she strove\u2014\nStuck her head in a stove,\nWhich extinguished her anguished young life.", "id": 20885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I abhor your becoming  a boar:\nBeing piggish, you always want more.\nYou have gotten quite big\nSince you eat like a pig,\nAnd your dinner's an arduous chore.", "id": 20886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A blabbering bantering bandit,\nWho was rustling a cow, went to brand it.\nBut his plans had come out\u2014\nThey'd been bandied about\u2014\nSo the theft didn't go as he'd planned it.", "id": 20887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whenever you sever an artery,\nSo you're bleeding and falling apartery,\nAnd you bind it in vain,\nWatch the spreading red stain,\nA reminder it wasn't too smartery.", "id": 20888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the West, one should never neglect,\nAs a gesture considered correct,\nTo uncover one's head\nWhile rememb'ring the dead\u2014\nGoing bareheaded out of respect.", "id": 20889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you've come to a fork in the road,\nAnd your bones cannot handle the load,\nSnatch a snack from your sack,\nSlip your pack from your back,\nAnd consider this spot your abode.", "id": 20890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Does your lens have the curve of a sphere?\nThe result's either fuzzy or clear.\nPartly sharp, partly blurred?\nAstigmatic's the word.\nLet's forget it and focus on beer.", "id": 20892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As our catapult's ball, with a smack,\nStrikes the stones of their wall, will it crack?\nOn behalf of our liege,\nWe surround and besiege\n'Til their fortresses fall to attack.", "id": 20893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A graveyard's a place it's expected\nThat one's ancestors' bones are protected.\nSaying boneyard instead\nWould affect who is dead:\nThat's where animals' bones are collected.", "id": 20894, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some boxes could hardly be plainer:\nA simple protective container.\nYet some are ornate,\nPlaying music I hate:\nPlinking noises that drive me insaner.", "id": 20896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There's a cuttlefish hidden amid\nAll the ink of that cuttlefish squid:\nAtramentous and black,\nIt deters an attack:\nYou can't see where that cuttlefish hid.", "id": 20897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A cub whose behavior is grave\n(\"You're unbearably bad! Now behave!\")\nWith the loving forbearance\nOf both his bear parents\nMight be sent to his room in the cave.", "id": 20898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A carrion-eater, in essence,\nIs a creature of great acquiescence\nWho will gladly concur,\nWithout any demur,\nTo an offer of rotting putrescence.", "id": 20899, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Know the pose where the cobra arose?\nLift your chest from the ground; point your toes.\nWith each breath that you take,\nArch your back like a snake\nPoised to strike\u2014bhujangasana pose!", "id": 20900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a black-hearted blackguard named Jack\nFound a bedbug had bitten his back,\nAs the bug wasn't budgin',\nHe reached for his bludgeon\u2014\nAn impractical tactical tack.", "id": 20901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That beekeeping freak is unique,\nComprehending the bees as they speak.\nWe're impressed that he does\nStay abreast of the buzz,\nWhich bespeaks his bee-speaking technique.", "id": 20902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "For the game \u2014 USA versus France \u2014\nThe bilateral rules took this stance:\nSince the French could not pass,\nThe Yanks showed real class:\nJust by lateral would they advance.", "id": 20903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Hey, Jay, I am going away.\nThanks for dog-sitting Fido today.\"\nBut what Fido destroyed\nLeft your friend so annoyed \u2014\nThat's the end for the petulant Jay.", "id": 20904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "At the side of your boat, where it's dank,\nYou can see that there's many a plank\nThat should meet end-to-end\nAnd butt up to a friend.\nTo repair, get a loan from your bank.", "id": 20905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "At the airport I wore a sad face;\nOf my luggage I'd seen not a trace.\nThen the black carousel\nStraight to me did propel,\nWith a shudder, my allative case.", "id": 20906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PdeG", "limerick": "I had kept that bad news to my heart;\nNow I see our cool plan fall apart.\nWell, she cannot pretend\nThat she's just a good friend\nBy upsetting the whole applecart.", "id": 20907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "A contestant got knots in her bowel\nWhen she lost 'cause she bought the wrong vowel,\nYelling, \"I'd have done better,\nIf I'd chosen a letter.\"\nThere was truth in this loser's avowal.", "id": 20909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Gothic spires accuse clouds flying by.\nRound the towers, the rooks sail and cry.\nRamparts, gargoyled and bleak\nMatch the croak of a beak,\nThrowing caws to the wind, cold and dry.", "id": 20910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Heat the vacuum tube's cathode till white.\nCrank the kilovolts high as a kite.\nThen you focus a ray\nOf electrons that play\nOn a phosphorus screen, making light.", "id": 20912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A bettor once bet that he'd better\nStop gambling so maybe he'd get her.\nBut his best efforts failed\nWhen his wife stamped and mailed\nThe girl proof that he'd have to regret her.", "id": 20913, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "She thinks afterwards is the best time\n(When some durings are rushed, though sublime).\nBefores can be tense,\nBut her lovers have sense\nTo embrace afterwards to re-prime.", "id": 20914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "Out too late at your favorite canteen?\nNeed a pick-me-up? Not feeling keen?\nFor a stimulant drug,\nFind some coffee to chug,\n'Cause that coffee is full of caffeine.", "id": 20915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A couple of ill-behaved boys\nAssembled their rattliest toys\nOn the 33rd floor,\nAnd then tossed them o'er.\nThe result: a cacophonous noise.", "id": 20916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To ensure that they're clean, first you brush 'em.\nThe spuds like to be brushed\u2014do not rush 'em.\nAll the best cooks advise\nThose with long stringy eyes\nAre no good.  You should just go and flush 'em.", "id": 20917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Baked potatoes are easy to make.\nFirst configure your oven to \"Bake.\"\nThen preheat, if you please,\nTo 350 degrees.\nFor a side dish, you might broil a steak.", "id": 20918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bake your taters for roughly an hour\nAt which time they'll be ripe to devour.\nTo bliss, you're now headed,\nSo add some cheese (shredded)\nOr, if weight's not an issue, cream (sour).", "id": 20919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He is partially deaf, it appears,\nAnd too lame to chase rabbits he hears.\nSense of sight?  Sense of smell?\nThey're not working too well.\nRocky's getting along now in years.", "id": 20920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My friend said, \"I've murdered my plumber!\nAnd my wife has run off with a drummer.\nPlus my bulldog's in traction,\nSo, what's your reaction?\"\nWhat else could I say?  I said, \"Bummer!\"", "id": 20921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English and David Franks", "limerick": "Agitate: shake, shift or stir,\nAnd when apathy's threatening, spur;\nSeek political action;\nAnnoy, cause distraction;\nOr advocate, as you prefer.", "id": 20922, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The audacious old circus star got\nHis brave head in a beastly tight spot,\nFor the lion just wouldn't\nLet go \u2014 well, he couldn't,\nSince he'd missed his last tetanus shot.", "id": 20923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My big toe's developed a bunion \u2014\nNow the obvious rhyme here is onion.\nWhile OK in line two,\nIn line five it won't do;\nLet the last rhyming word be a funny 'un.", "id": 20924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "My bed-wetting frustrates my spouse;\nYes, the linens I frequently douse.\nMy wearing of Pampers\nOur love-making hampers\u2014\nHe sleeps somewhere else in the house.", "id": 20925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The boxer Muhammad Ali,\nWorld heavyweight champion times three,\nWas as deft as his quote\nOn his fighting style: \"Float\nLike a butterfly, sting like a bee.\"", "id": 20926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The stock exchange boasts a stockade\n(Posts and rail is the way that it's made);\nKept within, cunning bears\nSell their yet-to-buy shares.\nSee the balustrade; see balus trade.", "id": 20927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My brilliant friend Brian's a brainiac,\nA mind-freak, a MENSA-mad maniac.\nWith his sky-high IQ\nHe is humorous, too,\nAnd so clownish he might be a \"zaniac\".", "id": 20928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "In an airship, way up in the sky,\nWas an elegant way, once, to fly.\nIn the passenger car\nYou would float near and far;\nHave those days of high living gone by?", "id": 20929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The Baikal is a strange little breed,\nBut the poachers all pay little heed.\nThey continue to take\nBaby seals from the lake\u2014\nAre they blind or just driven by greed?", "id": 20930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A caddy's your guide, on the links,\nTo how the green rises and sinks.\nHe'll carry your clubs\nUp the hills, through the shrubs,\nAnd carry you home after drinks.", "id": 20931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Armenti\u00e8res is a place we know well\nFrom a First World War song that did tell\nUs that, when we passed through,\nIf we asked \"parlez-vous?\",\nWell, we might meet a mademoiselle.", "id": 20932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Their prospectus arrived, proudly stating\nThat [to translate arcane boilerplating]\nI should find it a thrill:\nThough not licensed to kill,\nTheir bonds have the AAA rating.", "id": 20933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I had problems with sleeping that wrung\nAll repose from my slumbers when young.\nFirst, I snored\u2014and none louder\u2014\nBut worse, toothy powder\nFrom bruxism covered my tongue.", "id": 20934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Any Aussie fears bushfires most.\nAll your worldly possessions are toast\nWhen the air is all red\nAnd your neighbours have fled.\nAnd the town you once cherished? A ghost.", "id": 20935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "If you're wanting to hire a car,\nThen a member of ACRA's a star\u2014\nSince this lobbying group\nCan put you in the loop\nFor your travel both near and afar.", "id": 20936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Will you please carry on, as you're doing?\"\nSaid the boss, their work output reviewing.\nBut the couple got skittish\nSince they were both British \u2014\nAnd the term there means, shall we say, 'wooing'?", "id": 20937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I bought a new portable phone\nThat has Internet access, full-blown!\nNow wherever I am\nI'm a target for spam,\nAnd OEDILFers won't leave me alone.", "id": 20938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My body mechanics were weak,\nAnd they laughed at my geeky physique.\nSo I switched to karate\nAnd picked up a hottie\nWho taught me a naughty technique.", "id": 20939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The dentistry students are jarred\nAnd get caught just a little off guard\nBy the courses they need\nTo be dental-degreed.\nThey're all finding the calculus hard.", "id": 20940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many noblemen down through the years\nHave owned yachts and had sailing careers,\nSo a baron or duke\nIn the harbor's no fluke.\nThe marina's the realm of the peers.", "id": 20941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From my window, I gazed down below\nAt a bed of buddleias in blow,\nAnd the blossoms evoked\nA young woman I stroked\nInto bloom in my bed long ago.", "id": 20942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bola was spun round his head\nAnd released as a flock of gulls sped\nPast the Yupik, a man\n(In a kayak) whose plan\nWas to knock at least one of them dead.", "id": 20943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When the blackout struck, no one could bake\nA blackout cake, nor grill a steak.\nIn those hours unpowered,\nOur old love life flowered;\nIn nine months, we welcomed son Jake.", "id": 20945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "All is tickety-boo \u2014 so you say.\nNo problemo; set fair is the day.\nBut those adjectives? No!\nTry the shorthand below:\nIt's a three-letter word \u2014 A-OK.", "id": 20946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Chinatown, gang members chat\nAnd decide a new crime's where it's at\u2014\nNabbing pets is a breeze!\nBetter watch your Burmese\nOr you'll hear, \"Has the Tong got your cat?\"", "id": 20947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The baidarka's a skin-covered boat\nAleuts used in regions remote.\nOff Alaska they plied\nCoastal waters with pride\u2014\nOne of many such peoples of note.", "id": 20948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the brickyard, material's found\nBoth on pallets and stacked on the ground.\nThere are blocks made of clay\nBy a hod (that's a tray),\nAnd there's mortar and cinder around.", "id": 20949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Last night, a knight arrant, I warrant,\nWhose errant behavior's abhorrent,\nHad been arrantly rude,\nAnd unspeakably crude,\nAs his epithets fell in a torrent.", "id": 20950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A man with the head of a bear\nCould go bear-headed any-old-where,\nBut a man-with-chapeau\nWould have no way to go\nTo a bareheaded (topless?) affair.", "id": 20951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On TV, these accounts of the war\nAre becoming a snap to ignore.\nThey seem sure that the gore\nIn the stories will bore,\nSo they're shorter than ever before.", "id": 20952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Now the bear will repair to her lair:\nShe'll be bearing twin babies in there.\nShe'll prepare for the morn\nThat her cubs will be born,\nWhen the bear gets an heir and a spare.", "id": 20953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You selected your pectinous snack\nFrom preserves that were served on a rack.\nYour allergic attack\nLeft us taken aback:\nNow your casket's black raspberry black.", "id": 20954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Courtly bailiffs escort you to jail,\nFor your failure at raising your bail,\nWhere your jailors from hell\nLet you bail from your cell\nOnce a day, just to empty your pail.", "id": 20955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When offspring are gonna be sired,\nBoth female and male are required.\nWith just one or the other,\nThere's no father nor mother.\nNeeding both: how our species is wired.", "id": 20956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Upon falling of darkness, benighted,\nWe were left with our pathway unlighted.\nNo lamp? 'Twas an error.\nDeep woods. Deep in terror:\nUnsighted, too rightly affrighted.", "id": 20957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Their barrage blew our army asunder\nYet again\u2014gave us reason to wonder:\nIs our colonel too dim\nTo be following him?\nEach attack seems a tactical blunder.", "id": 20958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Yo' mama the llama's got class,\nSitting back on her Andean ass\n'Til you're hungry to munch.\nShe says, \"Alpaca lunch,\"\nAnd then gives you a box full of grass.", "id": 20959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As each morning's aborning, I rise\nWith a yawn, brushing sleep from my eyes.\nStill abed, my mind lingers,\nAs Dawn's rosy fingers\nSlip over my sill in reprise.", "id": 20960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though researchers try hard, beyond doubt,\nSeeking knowledge (what cells are about),\nWhat the simplest cell\nKnows exceedingly well,\nBiochemists have yet to find out.", "id": 20961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will this cave be our grave? Not a clue.\nWe've been dropped by a bat somewhere new.\nWe are lost, with no compass,\nWhile hunting a wumpus,\nAnd fear we'll get et by a grue.", "id": 20962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Assuredly, girls don't make passes\nAt soldiers in birth control glasses.\nSuch an ugly supply where\nThey go to get eyewear:\nThose thick plastic frames for the masses.", "id": 20963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If you're tossing a coin in the air,\nIrrespective of whether it's fair,\nFor each ratio thrown,\nProbability's known,\nAnd predictably common or rare.", "id": 20964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a daemoness recently chose\nTo bedevil your rest and repose,\nWas your bedchamber guest\nReally trying her best\nAs a succubus sucking your toes?", "id": 20965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On my sill, silver Siamese sat.\nThat's a blueblood aristo-type cat.\nWith their air of disdain,\nThey surveyed their domain,\nBarely deigning to reign, until . . . Scat!", "id": 20966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How long would our biosphere last\nIf the sun should explode in a blast?\nWe'd be caught unaware,\nHaving nary a care\nUntil eight point three minutes had passed.", "id": 20967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He's a blacksmith with iron in hands:\n'Neath the shade of a chestnut, he stands.\nIn the forge, he will heat it,\nThen hammer to beat it,\nWith sinews of iron-like bands.", "id": 20968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"We sew fabrics so light they're a dream,\"\nClaimed the emperor's tailoring team.\nSeams were suitably sewn,\nAs beseeming the throne,\nSo befitting\u2014or so it would seem.", "id": 20969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bum who was stumbling around\nFound a tumbler of rum on the ground.\nWhen he bent down and nicked it,\nAccidentally kicked it!\n\"What a bumbler!\" he grumbled and frowned.", "id": 20970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some boob was caressing her breast\u2014\nDidn't wait 'til she first acquiesced.\nShe awoke to discover\nHer unwanted lover\u2014\nWho's currently under arrest.", "id": 20971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every two thousand years, you'll commence\nThrowing parties at awesome expense.\nBut I don't want to wait\u2014\nI'll be dead on the date\nOf your big bimillennial events.", "id": 20972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The tailor was busily sitting\nAnd sewing, his task unremitting,\nSince he'd offered his troth\nAs a man of the cloth\nThat his suitable suits were befitting.", "id": 20973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He had blood from the blade of his foe,\nFrom the top of his head to his toe.\nHe was bleeding, and red\nFrom the buckets he bled,\nBut his cutlass struck nary a blow.", "id": 20974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We dozed in idyllic surrounds\nIn these Eden-like wilderness bounds,\n'Til an angel said, \"Hark!\nHie thee out of this park!\nWe'll be drilling for oil in these grounds.\"", "id": 20975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Not a twitch of a sinew nor hair,\nWhen she's stalking a fly through the air.\nIs it aptly ironic\nMy cat's cat-a-tonic,\nWith her fixed and unwavering stare?", "id": 20976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With these beetroots, what are we to do?\nWe could pickl'a particular few,\nOr make soup for a treat\n(Try some borsht. Can't be beat)\nWith this root that would suit in a stew.", "id": 20977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As these lessons of old are unfoldin',\nLearn from Trojans, who thought they were golden:\nWhen accepting antiques,\nDon't take gifts bearing Greeks,\nAnd beware of to whom you're beholden.", "id": 20978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since these heroes think rest is appealing,\nThey look down at the ground as they're kneeling.\nOverhead, arms extend,\nStretching spines end to end:\nAdho mukha virasana's feeling.", "id": 20979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Beware of that boa named Vickie:\nThat constrictor's predictably tricky.\nIf invited to hug,\nJust decline, with a shrug,\n'Cause her inside's par-tickerly icky.", "id": 20980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Biosystematics suggest\nHow each creature relates to the rest.\nBiochemical data\nYield tree-like schemata,\nWith taxonomic relations assessed.", "id": 20981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What's a blackfish? Three stories unfold:\nIt's a pilot (or black) whale, I'm told;\nIt's a post-spawning salmon\nYou might chance to examine;\nOr a food-fish that lives in the cold.", "id": 20982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bowler named Callie O'Malley,\nWho'd been hanging around in an alley,\nFelled the pins with her ball,\nAnd, by toppling them all,\nAdded striking amounts to her tally.", "id": 20983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The atoms that bind at each end\nOf a chemical bond often tend\nTo move slightly around\nWhere each atom is bound,\nA vibration that makes a bond bend.", "id": 20984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Here are battercakes made to be dry:\nOur omitting the eggs eggsplains why.\nPut some cornmeal, sans yeast,\nOn a stone that's ungreased;\nAdd some water and salt, and then fry.", "id": 20986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The borehole we drill in the soil\nRequires patience and skill as we toil.\nAnd our rig's never still:\nWe keep digging until\nWe're fulfilled by the thrill of new oil.", "id": 20987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bookbindery skills must we learn\nFor a bookbinder's wages to earn.\nSo we sew up the spine\nWith some bookbinder's twine\nIn this bindery business concern.", "id": 20988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you squat with your hands on the mat,\nShift your weight to your palms; press them flat.\nSqueeze your arms 'tween your thighs\nAs your feet slightly rise.\nHold bakasana balanced like that.", "id": 20989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You'd refuse their bestowal? A pity\nJust to leave it outside of the city.\nAre they really such sneaks,\nAll these gift-bearing Greeks?\n(Though a Greek-bearing gift seems so witty!)", "id": 20990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On the seas by the Barbary Coast,\nSeems these brigands were hated the most.\nAlthough gunships might thunder,\nSwift corsairs could plunder,\nAs Barbary pirates would boast.", "id": 20991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Those numbers go rumble-ing past,\nEvery one slightly more than the last.\nYour wearisome theories\nOf infinite series\nAre making me bleary-eyed fast.", "id": 20992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's an accident blocking the road,\nAnd the traffic has suddenly slowed.\nWhen I pass by the wreck,\nI start straining my neck,\nAs I'm draining a bottle I stowed.", "id": 20993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The top-rated teams in the polls\nGet invited to postseason bowls.\nSo much money's at stake\nThat most colleges make\nGetting quarterbacks one of their goals.", "id": 20997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A sea bird so awkward could plainly\nBe characterized as ungainly.\nIt's fact that a pelican's\nLacking in elegance,\nGalumphing about so inanely.", "id": 20998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I would kill for a pill I could take\nFor this dreadful, incredible ache.\nI have lain in my bed\nWith this pain in my head.\nI need sleep, but it keeps me awake.", "id": 20999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Attorneys in various firms\nHave been known by a number of terms:\nWords like bloodsuckers, giving\nWhat they do for a living.\n(No offense, Hirudinean worms.)", "id": 21000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the backbending pose called The Wheel,\nPut your weight on your hands and each heel.\nThen your belly and thighs\nLift and gracefully rise\nTo an arch with aesthetic appeal.", "id": 21001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The butt hinges flush with the jamb\nCan be stressed and come loose with a slam.\nI was whacked in the butt\nBy the door I just shut,\nWhich appeared to be muttering, \"Scram!\"", "id": 21002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Arab who's stuck in a jam'll\nWith luck have a ruminant mammal.\nIf a sandstorm's in sight,\nHe can quickly take flight\nAnd then hump through the night on his camel.", "id": 21003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're looking so sexy and svelte.\nThat's a beautiful skirt and a belt.\nBut that pullover's best\nSince it shows off your chest.\nIs it cashmere or might it be felt?", "id": 21004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Madonna embraced the cabala;\nOn Sabbaths she prayed and ate challah.\nThis material girl\nGave the mystics a whirl,\nThen returned to the almighty dollah.", "id": 21005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Our kind hostess was apologetic.\nShe said, \"Sorry, I'll call for a medic.\"\n After three pecan pies,\n She could quickly surmise\nThat her guests were a bit diabetic.", "id": 21006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Artists always assign approbation\nAbout amateur alliteration:\n Auditory arrays\n Arrange all allowed A's\nAnd aspire at acquired admiration.", "id": 21007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This policy hints of romanticism,\nAnd might tend to engender giganticism.\nIn the military pact\nWe and Europe enact\n(i.e. NATO), we call it Atlanticism.", "id": 21008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An archbishopric: this is the base\nThat the archbishop's powers embrace.\nEach monsignor and priest,\nFrom the highest to least,\nIs respected (if not in disgrace).", "id": 21009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Rome of Domitian's day\nAnti-Christian positions held sway.\nThen Constantine's vision\nInspired his decision\nTo Christianize Rome all the way.", "id": 21010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some arachnids are champion spinners;\nIn their webs they can capture their dinners.\nSome are scorpions, ticks,\nEven ear mites\u2014bad picks\u2014\nSo for me, count the spiders as winners.", "id": 21011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a sailor went out with the fleet,\nLong ago, to the tropics, defeat\nDogged the tar with bad luck.\nHe'd be calenture-struck,\nWith a fever they blamed on the heat.", "id": 21012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A right angle theorem's no use\nFor an amblygon. Let's call a truce.\nThe Pythagoras rule\nThat we all learned in school\nIs no good if one angle's obtuse.", "id": 21013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There's a problem, quite possibly, that\nYou may face if your pussycat's scat\nHas befouled her rear end,\nAnd by bathing you tend\nTo refreshen your felines: no cat.", "id": 21014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Because bloom-loving states of Australia\nMight well, if you criticise, jailia,\nI'm writing from where\nExtradition's quite rare:\nIt's a failia, Australia's dahlia!", "id": 21015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Rooting pigs simply can't cope without\nAn assessing, inquisitive snout.\nYou could, if you chose to,\nJudge mud with your nose, too,\nBut, goodness, you'd look like a lout!", "id": 21016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He bought besoms, that man of Khartoum\nWho kept sheep (so they said) in his room.\nI do not speak of this\nTo suggest it's remiss \u2014\nJust to tell you that besom means \"broom\".", "id": 21017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Since a good balanced diet is grand,\nI'm relieved that you're taking a stand,\nBut I don't trust your view\nThat it's balanced when you\nClutch a Danish in each chubby hand.", "id": 21018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Every vector's expressed, and with ease,\nBy a linear combo of these.\nThey're a basis, the source\n(Independent, of course)\nOf a vector space\u2014certain to please.", "id": 21019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With autotrophy living is plain\nSince the C and the N that sustain\nIt have no complex sources\u2014\nLike pine trees or horses\u2014\nJust air and the earth and the rain.", "id": 21020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and alkahuna", "limerick": "In CC carbon copy, chief clerk,\nCountry clubs, common carriers lurk;\nAnd closed-captioned (not loud),\nCirrocumulus (cloud),\nAnd a measure of volume (not work).", "id": 21021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Down in Oz, the proverbial poke\nIn the eye with a stick is a joke.\nBut it better be burnt,\nAs I recently learnt\u2014\nMine was sharp, and I hurt the poor bloke.", "id": 21022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our beliefs have wrought death on this earth\nBy creating more mayhem than mirth.\nNow billions have died\nDue to addle-brained pride\nOver this or that marvellous birth.", "id": 21023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Should you catch the wild beast of Loch Ness,\nYou'll fail, I'm afraid, to impress\nDrumnadrochit's young men,\nWho detest your sort when\nThey get called out to clean up the mess.", "id": 21024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An airhead inventor's creation\nOf gas-pumps for room ventilation\nWill pipe in O2,\nAnd thus save quite a few\nCareless smokers the cost of cremation.", "id": 21025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "My brother got wasted one day,\nAnd I got my revenge where he lay:\nWith two Chiclets well-placed,\nHis front teeth were defaced,\nAnd I laughed at his bucktoothed display.", "id": 21026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt", "limerick": "There once was an  abbot  from Cluny\nWhose monks were all making him loony.\nHe's escaped from the prayers\nAnd the airs of the freres.\nHe's been traded and now he's a Moonie.", "id": 21027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On my walks every morning, I feed\nA swan who's so tame there's no need\nThat I guard against nips\nFrom her beak (that's her lips)\u2014\nShe eats daintily, never with greed.", "id": 21028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A maths grad inclined algebraically \nSaid, \"It's true that I woo formulaically,\nBut that lass in life science\nWon't offer compliance\nDeoxyribonucleically.\"", "id": 21029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Science has more than its share\nOf theories bizarre and \"out there\",\nAnd specious as any is,\nIs abiogenesis,\nSaying life can appear from thin air.", "id": 21030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Acetabulum ought to be known\nAs a cuplike depression that's grown \u2014\nIn the words of the song,\nAnd I'm sure I'm not wrong \u2014\nWhere hip bone connects to thigh bone.", "id": 21031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A freshman who's wearing a beanie\nMay look like a wimp or a weenie,\nBut don't ridicule that\nKind of flat little hat,\nOr you may turn him into a meanie.", "id": 21032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since my recent return from the tropics\nI've been dosing with antihydropics,\nAs I have, it would seem, a\nBad case of edema.\n(Let's drop such disheartening topics!)", "id": 21033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One with anthropopsychism sees\nSouls like humans' in mountains and trees.\nThough they may seem bizarre,\nTrue believers sure are\nPro-environment (green, if you please).", "id": 21034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's a gent in my parish in Kent\nWho has given up wine during Lent.\nIn his grape juice he poured\nAntizymics. Good Lord!\nTwenty gallons refused to ferment.", "id": 21035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As we age, hair grows white, vessels harden;\nSo old gals tinting hair we should pardon.\nBut to color it blue?\nWhen I reach eighty-two,\nThe blue curls will be in all my garden!", "id": 21036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A sailor's watch came to a stop,\nSo he went to a watchmaker's shop\nAnd a battery took.\nThen the owner cried, \"Look!\nSalt 'n' battery\u2014call me a cop!\"", "id": 21037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Americanizing la France,\nWhere our culture we seek to ensconce?\nFrench adore such things as\nJerry Lewis and jazz,\nBut we don't have un ombre d'une chance.", "id": 21038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacteriophage: one of those terms\nThat from students bring blushes and squirms.\nWhen they're asked to define\nIt, they hem, haw, and whine.\nIt's a virus that eats other germs.", "id": 21039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Coordination is all that I need\nFor my needlework, stringing a bead,\nOr crocheting or knitting.\nMy work's not befitting;\nAsynergy hampers each deed.", "id": 21040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's basilican, topped with a dome,\nAnd the diocese calls it a home.\nBut we copied its floor plan,\nThe window-and-door plan,\nFrom halls of the Empire of Rome.", "id": 21041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our Army recruits, one supposes,\nCan't tell their behinds from their noses.\nWhen they reach the recruit-camp,\nThe sergeant from boot camp\nShouts, \"This here ain't no bed of roses!\"", "id": 21042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm head-over-heels for Dianne,\nAnd I tell her whenever I can.\nNow she plans to wed Hal\n(He's my favorite pal).\n\"Don't feel bad,\" she says, \"You're the best man!\"", "id": 21043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the theme for my thesis was picked,\nMy professor saw fit to astrict\nHow I used all his data,\nThen charged me, pro rata!\nWhat's coming is hard to predict.", "id": 21044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Their Aunt Jennifer suffered from gout.\nShe would wail and complain; she would pout.\nSo they searched for a nickname\n(An easy-to-pick name) \u2014\nAnd proposed Aunt Arthritic, no doubt.", "id": 21045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When he gave her a single red rose\nAnd she suddenly, wordlessly, froze,\nBlind Freddy could tell\nThat the outcome would smell.\nEven blokes with bad eyes have a nose.", "id": 21046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The entire obstetrical crew\nBore down when my baby was due.\nAs I labored away,\nThey continued to say,\n\"Just bear down and you'll push her right through!\"", "id": 21047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To befog is to render unclear.\nIt's to obfuscate, muddy, or smear,\nTo bedim or to screen\nWhat one doesn't want seen,\nTo becloud, or to make disappear.", "id": 21048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In that outfit my girlfriend looked blowsy;\nIf I said so, she'd only feel lousy.\nMy composure she shook\nWith her \"How do I look?\"\nI just took a deep breath and said, \"Wow-sie!\"", "id": 21049, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "We know border disputes can ignite\nBetween leaders who each claim a right\u2014\nJust like President Polk\nAs he vowed to the folk,\n\"It's fifty-four forty or fight!\"", "id": 21050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I hear about storms coming near,\nI react with irrational fear.\nIn a fetal position\nI roll; my condition\nIs astrapophobia, dear.", "id": 21051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If an arm is torn off from the trunk\nAnd the body is covered in gunk,\nThen the limb's been avulsed,\nAnd we may feel repulsed\nWhen we look at the grim-looking hunk.", "id": 21052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You should marry an altarist quicker\nThan a guy who makes baskets from wicker;\nNot a tailor's relation\nWho does alteration,\nBut a padre, or chaplain, or vicar.", "id": 21053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our chromosomes may be complex,\nBut sorting them out shouldn't vex.\nThe most common by far,\nAutosomal ones are\nAll the ones not determining sex.", "id": 21054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Autorotate!\" I yelled at my copter,\nWhen the engine cut off. What had stopped her?\nWe were safe after all\nAnd avoided a fall\u2014\nJust the rotors (not motors) had dropped her.", "id": 21055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Autoradiographic films show\nEmanations from objects that glow\n'Cause they're radioactive.\nThese films are attractive;\nInterpret them? I wouldn't know.", "id": 21056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Afforesting \u2014 that's well and good\nIf you want to develop a wood,\nBut in cities, our trees\nLine the sidewalk, so please\nKeep afforesting out of my 'hood.", "id": 21057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A mild-mannered fellow named Ross\nWas more than a bit antiboss.\nThough polite to a fault,\nHis subversive assault\nCould be found in the profit and loss.", "id": 21058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A man who will always react\nWith diplomacy, wisdom, and tact\nCan negotiate best\nAt his country's behest\nFor an antiaggression-type pact.", "id": 21059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I often take parts in the staging\nOf plays with young characters raging.\nIf I play such a part\nI need not just my art,\nBut a fountain of youth (antiaging).", "id": 21060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He wanted to measure my head\nAs a scientist \u2014 that's what he said.\nWhen I registered doubt,\nHe pressed on, with a pout,\n\"It is anthropometric!\" he pled.", "id": 21061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I try to write verses poetically,\nAnd proceed with great speed, energetically,\nBut when sentimentality\nTrumps rationality,\nLimericks founder bathetically.", "id": 21062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's an ore that has copper and lead,\nAlso bismuth and sulfur, it's said.\nAny mineral lover\nWill quickly discover\nAciculite's boring in bed.", "id": 21063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you've ever had typhoid, you know\nThat the illness can bring people low.\nAntityphoid drugs save\nMany folks from the grave \u2014\nWould have spared Typhoid Mary her woe.", "id": 21064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Jacko did it, kids saw it. It soon\nTo the break-dancing kids was a boon.\nIt's a series of moves,\nThat's like walking, but proves\nTo work backwardly, like on the moon.", "id": 21065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "So you won't fall downstairs on your face,\nA bannister's set in its place;\nThen you won't break your shin,\nOr a record, as in\nRoger Bannister's four-minute race.", "id": 21066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bachelor's a guy who's unmarried,\nAnd sometimes by matchmakers harried,\nBut a gal (bachelorette)\nWho's not married as yet\nWill be called an old maid, since she tarried.", "id": 21067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The king in his coffin reposes\nOn a catafalque covered in roses.\nThus lifted on high\nHe offends not the eye\nAnd, moreover, offends not our noses.", "id": 21068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "With a bobby pin, Sue can go far.\nShe can do up her hair like a star!\nShe can fix broken clocks,\nPick everyone's locks,\nEven hot-wire her neighbor's new car.", "id": 21069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "geekwraith", "limerick": "I'm enthralled by the beat anapestic;\nIts threes, like a waltz, feel majestic.\nWith metrical skill,\nI'm revising until\nI have measured each \"tock\" and its best \"tick.\"", "id": 21070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In teaching our kids to take care\nTo avoid STDs, be aware,\nWe may be ineffectual\nIf we sound antisexual\nAnd our message comes through as a dare.", "id": 21071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A battledore's kind of a racquet,\nTo play badminton, if you can hack it;\nIn this old Asian game\nWith a modernized name,\nWhen the shuttlecock comes, you must whack it.", "id": 21072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Agnus Dei, the lamb of the Lord,\nIs the image I drew on the board,\nAnd it's sung in the Mass\u2014oh,\nBy mezzo and basso\u2014\nIf both can accomplish accord.", "id": 21073, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Archaeolaters worship what's old,\nLike the gods in the myths that are told,\nBut I find it no use.\nWhen I try to reach Zeus,\nIt just feels like I'm always \"on hold.\"", "id": 21074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In aneuploidy, you've got a cell\nIn which chromosome numbers rebel.\nYou have less of them, or\nYou have somehow got more\nThan there should be, in nuclear gel.", "id": 21075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My budgerigar likes to peek\nAt the bird in the mirror, to seek\nSome romance\u2014he's of age\nAnd alone in his cage\u2014\nSo he kisses himself on the beak.", "id": 21076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In pursuing my chosen vocation,\nThere's never been one intimation\nI'm falling behind,\nBut it's much on my mind,\nSo it's clear that I fear antiquation.", "id": 21077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Belphegor's a two-timing devil\nWho tempts with invention or revel\u2014\nA beautiful nude\nOr a horned, bearded dude.\nHis enticements are not on the level.", "id": 21078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I once was in business with Dennis,\nBut quit, as I found him a menace.\nWhen we had to attack,\nHe would always hang back\n(He's a baseliner when he plays tennis).", "id": 21079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bring diversity into our crew!\nI want multiethnicity too!\nI want folks of all races\nFrom far-away places.\nDoes this guy look bluish to you?", "id": 21080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Are mosquitos disturbing your nap?\nWhat you need is a blacklight-type trap.\nUsing light that bugs see\n(Though it looks black to me),\nIt lures insects inside, and then\u2014zap!", "id": 21081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've been waiting eight hours or more\nIn this antechamber outside the door\nOf the throne room, where best\nI can make my request\nOf a king who finds ruling a bore.", "id": 21082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There are mice in each cranny and hole\nIn my house.  Rodent-free is my goal.\nThey are ravenous chaps,\nBut I don't favor traps;\nI've decided on biocontrol.", "id": 21083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am thinking of writing a ballad\nTo bean sprouts; they perk up my salad.\nI use them each day\nTo add crunch and cachet\nWhen a dish turns out boring or pallid.", "id": 21084, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We might say, if her joy's unconcealed,\nThat she's walking on air cross the field.\nIf she actually were,\nWe would have to infer\nThat the gravity law's been repealed.", "id": 21085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've gone on an acid ash diet.\nMy doctor convinced me to try it.\nSo I've taken the pledge\nTo avoid fruit and veg,\nBut the skeptic in me doesn't buy it.", "id": 21086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First editions I never would hide.\nA bookend supports either side\nOf the row on my shelf,\nAnd I dust them myself\nAs they're priceless, and Grandfather's pride.", "id": 21087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word blivet may cause some confusion.\nIt's an optical type of illusion,\nOr a battlefield urn,\nOr a lapse of concern,\nOr a hopeless or mindless intrusion.", "id": 21089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a bluebird flies over, don't dread;\nIt's a happiness bird, it is said.\nJust buck up and don't duck;\nIt may bring you good luck\nIf it doesn't drop poop on your head.", "id": 21090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Filled with weariness, rather than cheeriness,\nHis life is a study in dreariness.\nAs hard as he tries,\nWhen he opens his eyes,\nAll he sees is a world smudged in bleariness.", "id": 21091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I opened the note and perused\nIts poison-pen contents, confused.\nAn anonymous letter,\nNo doubt from a debtor\u2014\nOf fraud I am falsely accused.", "id": 21092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend traveled many a mile\nIn an achkan he wore with a smile\u2014\nNo, not in an ashcan,\nA garbage or trash can\u2014\nA coat of an Indian style.", "id": 21093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our bibliotheca is where\nFine volumes will often repair:\nA collection of books\nWhere each place that one looks\nOne encounters the old and the rare.", "id": 21094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acestes, a man who'll inspire,\nShot an arrow so fast it caught fire,\nSo that when you orate,\nWhat you forcefully state\nIs Acestes's arrow. Admire!", "id": 21095, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend was so happy she purred,\nWhen the Gospels of Jesus she heard,\nAnd the Antilegomena\nShe read with aplomb, in a\nBook (Revelations, preferred).", "id": 21096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As neat as two balls in their socket,\nBipropellants fit snug in a rocket.\nThere the two precious fuels\nAre like Britain's Crown Jewels,\nLying safe, side-by-side, in a pocket.", "id": 21097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A carryall once was a way\nTo travel; it isn't today.\nIt's a basket or sack\nFull of stuff that you pack\nFor a trip, when you're going away.", "id": 21098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This atmosphere's heavy with soot;\nVisibility's less than a foot.\nSince we're breathing this air,\nI conclude, with despair,\nRespiration will soon be kaput.", "id": 21099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My sister is wearing a frown;\nDad insists that she marry this clown.\nHe is old, has bad knees,\nAnd sciatica. She's\nBreaking up because he's breaking down.", "id": 21100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bombazine is a fabric that's black,\nMade of worsted and silk, front and back.\nIn a dress it is worn\nWhen you're dressed up to mourn\u2014\nThen it's quickly put back on the rack.", "id": 21101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you want to describe the bacteria\nThat you found on your trip to Siberia,\nFor acidophil germs,\nStain with acid confirms\nThey are anthrax\u2014or maybe diphtheria.", "id": 21102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The butternut type of a tree,\nCalled white walnut, is likely to be\nThe source from which came\nThe reb uniform's name\n(Worn by troops led by Robert E. Lee).", "id": 21103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They were active before World War II.\nSome Americans joined them.  Did you?\nThe Bund was pro-German,\nPro-Nazi; their sermon\nEspoused the Hitlerian view.", "id": 21104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The anatomist loved Lottie Ling.\nFor her carpus, a bracelet he'd bring.\nWith an anklet, well placed,\nLottie's tarsus he graced;\nOn her digit, he placed a gold ring.", "id": 21105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We are proud that we have a democracy,\nAnd prefer it to any autocracy,\nBut I wonder, my friend,\nWill our way of life end\nWhen we drown in official bureaucracy?", "id": 21106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As the prophets would say, \"It was written.\"\nOne look at her face\u2014I was smitten.\nAnd the touch of her paw\nMade me marvel in awe,\nThough the cat was still only a kitten.", "id": 21107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Julius Caesar, the foe of barbarian,\nBy the Senate was branded contrarian;\nBut all over the earth\nWe remember his birth\nVia surgery called the caesarian.", "id": 21108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now I'm lonely and old, and I've found\nI am cheered by the carousel's sound,\nAs the tunes that it plays\nBring me back to the days\nWhen I rode it, around and around.", "id": 21110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was carefree when young; now I ain't.\nLooking back on my youth, it seems quaint.\nSince acquiring a house\nFull of kids and a spouse,\nWhat I'm seeking is just carefree paint!", "id": 21111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The turtle develops a shell\nThat is shaped like a flattened-out bell.\nIt's a carapace, and\nThough it doesn't expand,\nIt protects its proud owner quite well.", "id": 21112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend Carrie plays lotto each day,\nAnd she dreams she will win, with each play.\n\"I will journey quite soon\nTo the moon, by balloon!\"\nSo I warn, \"Don't get carried away!\"", "id": 21113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My jockey-friend's jocund; he banters.\n\"I've a question\u2014those synagogue chanters:\nWhich equestrian pace\nDo they like? Do they race?\"\n\"When a cantor's on horseback, he canters.\"", "id": 21114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the town where I live, I'll confess\nThat the government's really a mess.\nThe mayor hires cronies;\nThey're sycophants, phonies!\nIt's bossism, done to excess.", "id": 21115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This word cannot boast much modernity\nAnd I can't guarantee its paternity,\nBut it means \"alternation\n(Yin/yang vacillation)\"\nAnd will send us from here to alternity.", "id": 21116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I went bankrupt, but don't ask me how.\nI was broke, and flat busted, but now\nAll my debits are void;\nThose I owe are annoyed.\nAin't it great what the law will allow?", "id": 21117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Autarchic applies to a clan\nOr a country that's ruled by one man\nWho abuses authority\nTo crush the majority.\nThey'll flee if they possibly can.", "id": 21118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An autocrat likes to give orders\u2014\nHis ego's without any borders.\nTo preserve his great deeds\nFor historians' needs,\nHe may even plant hidden recorders.", "id": 21119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Three salesmen who'd met at the beach\nBecame friends. It was nice to see each\nTo the others responding\u2014\nI'll call it male bonding.\nTheir motives I'd never impeach.", "id": 21120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In an autograft, this is our aim:\nTo move tissue from part of your frame\nTo an alternate spot\nWhere before it was not.\nWhat's an autograph? Signing your name.", "id": 21121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amanitine comes from the sort\nOf mushrooms we shouldn't import.\nThey're so toxic, if you\nServe them stewed or ragout,\nYou will certainly end up in court.", "id": 21122, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've alexithymia; there's\nA condition that truly impairs.\nOne can't feel or describe\nAn emotion or vibe\nThat should be there when one really cares.", "id": 21123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They had captured the beast in a bottle\u2014\nAn amphibian called axolotl.\n\"This Ambystoma, please,\"\nWarned their teacher, \"Don't tease,\nDon't mishandle, don't strangle, don't throttle!\"", "id": 21124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Any parasite surely would boast\nOf autoecism, since it's the most\nSimple lifestyle by far,\nAnd it means that you are\nSpending all of your life in one host.", "id": 21125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mother Nature is someone from whom\nFolks at times get a message of gloom,\nLike the parents, forlorn,\nOf a girl-child who's born\nWith ametria\u2014lacking a womb.", "id": 21126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One Italian composer is seen\nAs, of opera writers, the dean.\nG. Verdi's his name;\nWould his fame be the same\nIf it's anglicized: Mr. Joe Green?", "id": 21127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One subject I never can master:\nAt chemistry I'm a disaster.\nI fail, so I'm critically,\nAutocatalytically,\nBreaking down faster and faster.", "id": 21128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's an eel, I report with felicity,\nThat generates bioelectricity.\nIf you currently feel\nYou must contact that eel,\nYou'll be shocked by the creature's toxicity.", "id": 21129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though its blooms come in purples and pinks,\nThe false indigo doesn't make inks.\nCalled amorpha, this shrub\nCan be grown in a tub,\nWhile Amorpha's a moth: walnut sphinx.", "id": 21130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a Nazi named Hitler unfurled\nHis nefarious plan, his lip curled.\nAntitotalitarians\nCountered the Aryans'\nBid to take over the world.", "id": 21131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The cavalry, rounding the bend,\nGallops straight toward the fort to defend\nAgainst Blackfoot attack.\nThey assault; braves fall back,\nMusic up, movie over, THE END.", "id": 21132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ammite is one of a clone\nOf four names for the same kind of  stone\n(From Greek ammos, for \"sand\").\nHammite, o\u00f6lite, and\nAlso roestone: by these names it's known.", "id": 21133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In the garden in front of my tract, I\nHave space that is wasted. In fact I\nAm planning, tomorrow,\nTo plant a saguaro\u2014\nThey prickle my fancy, those cacti.", "id": 21134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Of a gift or a card or a letter\nOr a cheque (with much thanks) from a debtor,\nThe unique addressee\nIs the person to be \u2014\nThat's to say, the proposed letter getter.", "id": 21135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "With age creeping on with each dawn,\nThe long quest grew more urgent for Juan.\n\"We will find it, by Jiminy,\nRight here on Bimini,\nOr my name's not Ponce de Le\u00f3n!\"", "id": 21136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "I don't get it; P/Es are too high,\nBut the market's en route to the sky.\nWhy so bullish?  Who knows?\nBut we're way off the lows\nAnd still rising\u2014you might as well buy.", "id": 21137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Three cheers for the great M. J. Anker,\nWho was neither a lawyer nor banker,\nBut a prof of great fame\n(Think of ankerite's name),\nMineralogist, and a first-ranker.", "id": 21138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On our air base please don't show your face,\n'Cause your comments on airmen were base,\nAnd your book, based on slanders,\nTo the enemy panders,\nSo we'll launch you right out into space.", "id": 21139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some ladies whose smiles left a crinkle\nBought lotion they started to sprinkle\nOn hands, and on faces,\nAnd hard-to-reach places,\nConvinced it would prove antiwrinkle.", "id": 21140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Much of Europe was held in the grip\nOf the Habsburgs, a family blue-chip.\nThey had DNA flaws\nMaking long, narrow jaws\nThat were known as the Austrian lip.", "id": 21141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At the time of my grandfather's jailing,\nWhen my grandmother's courage was failing\nAnd she wept (I've heard tales),\nGrandpa cried, \"Save the wails!\"\nAnd she thought he'd become antiwhaling.", "id": 21142, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With my girl, I would like to transcend\nEach clich\u00e9 of the day, every trend,\nSo not \"Sweetie pie,\" she\nIs \"Amiga\" to me,\nWhich is Spanish for feminine friend.", "id": 21143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiseizure precautions I'll take\nSo my guests can eat barbecued steak\nAnd enjoy every bit\nSince I won't have a fit:\nI'll stay cool near the pool for their sake.", "id": 21144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I once knew a feminine she-weed\nWho wanted to mate with a he-weed.\n\"I'd counsel an algous,\"\nAdvised her old pal, Gus,\n\"Conjunction\u2014that's one with a seaweed.\"", "id": 21145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Politicians whose platforms, sublime,\nAre most ardently framed anticrime\nNow and then cannot beat\nThe temptation to cheat;\nSo they sometimes end up doing time.", "id": 21146, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acuminulate: sharp by design,\nAt its tip not as blunt as a tine\nOf the fork on your table,\nBut honed so you're able\nTo do work microscopically fine.", "id": 21147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antilynching laws sadly were blocked;\nBy Senate rules voting was locked.\nThe filibuster, used\nTo keep action defused,\nLeft democracy seemingly mocked.", "id": 21148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I once had a neighbor named John.\nNow he's living in Boca Raton,\nAnd he says I'm a fool\nTo stay north, where it's cool\u2014\nMouths of rodents do NOT turn me on.", "id": 21149, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Fellow workers!  Observe my raised fist!\nIf we rise, then the world can't resist!\nWe'll be history-jolting\n(Don't say I'm revolting);\nI'm an anarcho-syndicalist.", "id": 21150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Catacombs, deep in the ground,\nIs where ancient remains may be found,\nAnd for Christians in Rome\nThey were prayers' early home,\nUntil Constantine turned things around.", "id": 21151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I find it a source of no humor.\nMy acoustic neuroma's a tumor,\nAnd there's tinnitus here\nIn my non-working ear,\nBut the tumor's benign\u2014that's the rumor.", "id": 21152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many Christians, in awe when they hear it,\nAccept it as Truth and revere it.\nI refer to divinity\nExpressed as the Trinity:\nThe Father, the Son, Holy Spirit.", "id": 21153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Does your firm seem to fairly compete?\nThat depends on the place of your seat.\nDo you work out in front,\nWhere you sweat like a grunt?\nOr the back office? That's where they cheat!", "id": 21154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Do you often embark on a diet?\nWhatever is trendy, you'll try it?\nThough low carbs may seem dreamy, a\nHigh acetonemia\nMeans ketones in blood have run riot.", "id": 21155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In building a building, the beams\nForm the frame, but they also, it seems,\nAre the lights from a lighthouse\n(The warn-ships-at-night house)\nAnd smiles seen on championship teams.", "id": 21157, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My favorite study in botany,\nAnd the only one free of monotony,\nIs the study of moss,\nCalled bryology. Toss\nMe some moss if, of course, you have got any.", "id": 21158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his garden he often would hoe ground,\nAnd on weekends would sow, and would mow ground,\nAs his favorite spot\nWas this plot; and why not?\nHe had hidden his treasure belowground.", "id": 21159, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I doubt that he meant to deceive\nWhen he borrowed my car. I believe\nI'd have said, \"Be my guest!\"\nBut it would have been best\nIf I'd heard a polite \"by-your-leave.\"", "id": 21160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Making money was never a goal\nFor my brother, a bibliopole,\nWho feels lucky to be\nA bibliopolist.  He\nLoves old books with his heart and his soul.", "id": 21161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Playing baseball, he's often a bunter;\nPlaying football, he's sometimes a punter,\nBut he'd never resort\nTo see killing as sport\u2014\nHe considers himself antihunter.", "id": 21162, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some diseases by which we're attacked\nCan be monitored, followed and tracked.\nWhen a clear biomarker\nGets lighter or darker,\nWe're better or worse\u2014that's a fact!", "id": 21163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Injah their life was baronial\u2014\nBritish rulers, with quaint ceremonial;\nBut they finally moved out\nWhen the world spun about\nAnd the zeitgeist turned anticolonial.", "id": 21164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though its content is rather uncouth,\nThis letter is signed by Babe Ruth.\n\"Is it real?\" you may ask;\nTo decide is its task:\nBibliotics will hit on the truth.", "id": 21165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antidandruff: its meaning is clear,\nIt's a product that helps us appear\nFree of pesky white flakes\nThat annoy. Dandruff makes\nOf our shoulders a snowy frontier.", "id": 21166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said my friend, without any apology,\n\"I have now taken up bibliology.\nFor its doctrine I'm liable\nTo study the Bible\u2014\nIts language, its text, its chronology.\"", "id": 21167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my suit jacket lining, a slit\nLed my hand to a pouch that just fit\nMy new wallet. Don't knock it!\nIt's a besom-type pocket.\nBefore, my cash sat where I sit.", "id": 21168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The boys in the band took a hand\nIn producing an X-rated band\nFor their record, which was\nBanned in Boston.  The fuzz\nWith the band on his arm got them canned.", "id": 21169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acalephan refers to the nettle\nThat in water, not woods, likes to settle.\nThese coelenterates sting,\nSo I'm not prone to bring\nHome a dozen to steam in the kettle.", "id": 21170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At the top of your globe you can span it:\nArctogaea, that part of the planet\nUp north, where it's cold,\nAnd where snow, I am told,\nCovers sandstone and limestone and granite.", "id": 21171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though he'd never use slurs that were racial,\nAnd his rate of responding was glacial,\nThe old prof with the beard\nWho'd been publicly smeared\nRose and called his opponent bifacial", "id": 21172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From Canada geese, to excess,\nCome the droppings that make quite a mess.\nBut at least they don't drop\nLike the seagulls who plop\nOn the top of my head and my dress.", "id": 21173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The betel palm, growing in Asia,\nHas nuts that will surely amaze ya.\nChew their kernels with lime\nAnd you'll have a good time,\nThough the stains on your dentures may faze ya.", "id": 21174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The sacred Avesta's a book\nWith the words Zarathustra once took\nTo praise God and to pray;\nAnd for guidance today\nIt is where Zoroastrians look.", "id": 21175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The biosphere's where we all are.\nWe can't live if we wander too far.\nIt's the part of the earth\nWhere we dwell and give birth,\nAnd where Nature's sweet door is ajar.", "id": 21176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Through research, many therapies stride\nTo find cures for what ails us inside.\nBiosafety is key\nSo no headline will be:\nSTUDY WORKS BUT THE SUBJECTS ALL DIED.", "id": 21177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To assist in a crime is abetting,\nA charge I find very upsetting.\nThough I just sat outside\nOn the day of the ride,\nWhat you did in the bank I'm regretting.", "id": 21178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacterioscopy: one of the terms\nFor the study of microbes and germs.\nThrough the lenses I peer;\nI prefer this career\nTo a job giving haircuts and perms.", "id": 21179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If I'm called autotelic, don't take\nMe all wrong. I'm not looking to make\nA subversive decree,\nBut my motto can be\nRepresented as art for art's sake.", "id": 21180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To me, scuba diving's a lark.\nI like to dive deep, where it's dark,\nBut there's danger, I gauge,\nSo I dive in a cage\nThat's constructed to be antishark.", "id": 21181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With amphilogism, one can achieve\nA confusion, though not quite deceive\n(More like muddle, or show\nAmbiguity): so\nIt is hard to know what to believe.", "id": 21182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bladder wrack can be seen from your boat;\nIt has air trapped in nodules that float.\nBladdernut has fat seeds,\nWhile the bladderwort feeds\nCatching bugs in its bladderlike throat.", "id": 21183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Of malaria he was a victim,\nAnd convinced that foul destiny picked him.\nThen his urine turned black\nIn the final attack\u2014\nHe had blackwater fever afflict him.", "id": 21184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Joe's skin has a dark olive hue,\nWhile his wife is a redhead named Sue.\nSo when Susan gave birth,\nWe exclaimed, \"What on earth?\"\nShe is mom to a baby who's blue.", "id": 21185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm a chef and it causes me grief\nWhen breadcrumbs, against my belief,\nAre in meatballs.  I find\nThat the beefier kind\nAlmost never make customers beef.", "id": 21186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ever wonder where cardinals sat\nWhen they visited monast'ries that\nWere in essence unheated?\nCalefactories greeted\nThose guys with the classy red hat.", "id": 21187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Oh, say can you see\" is a line\nFrom our national anthem.  It's fine\nIf you sing it with glee,\nAnd like Francis Scott Key,\nFind \"Old Glory's\" survival a sign.", "id": 21188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "By jiminy! Now I know what\u2014\nIt's bigeminy\u2014that's what I've got.\nCertain heartbeats I miss,\nSo my pulse goes like this:\n(Pause) dum-dot, (pause) dum-dot, (pause) dum-dot.", "id": 21189, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I guess you would call him a heel.\nThey had met, and he gave her a spiel\u2014\nPromised wealth; but the jerk\nIs allergic to work,\nSo they live in a dank bidonville.", "id": 21190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They decided to blacktop my street,\nFill the potholes and make it look neat;\nBut they're using bitumen\u2014\nThe odor's inhuman.\nI'd rather have stones neath my feet!", "id": 21191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I just called on  my beau.  He was bedding\nMy bridesmaid! I'm shocked! I am heading\nRight home to send email\nTo him and this female\u2014\nYou traitors! I've called off the wedding!", "id": 21192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my TV won't work any more,\nThe cable guy comes to my door.\nThough I hope he'll be hot,\nWith the luck that I've got\nHe is usually bald, and a bore.", "id": 21193, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've consulted a number of guides,\nAnd some history volumes besides,\nBut I still end up hating\nThat odd Roman dating\u2014\nFrom calends, count backwards to ides.", "id": 21194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a bar, a bear comes through the door,\nOrders gin, is charged $12.94.\nThe barkeeper stares,\nSays, \"We seldom see bears.\"\n\"At this price, you won't see many more!\"", "id": 21195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My great auntie's a \"lady in waiting\"\u2014\nAll her life, for a partner for mating.\nNow she wants a blind date;\nShe's more likely to rate\nAs a subject for (ugh!) carbon dating!", "id": 21196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cartopper's one kind of boat;\nIt's so light that it's easy to tote.\nTie it down to the roof\nOf your car\u2014but don't goof;\nFirst remove from the car, and then float.", "id": 21197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Can you picture my canny old aunt\nDancing cancan, then stopping to pant?\nI say, \"Auntie, sit down!\"\nShe replies with a frown,\n\"I've a cramp in my can, so I can't.\"", "id": 21198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My assistant is still on probation.\nHe makes links\u2014that defines catenation.\nIt's not a fixation\nOn cat liberation\n(Which would win him a feline ovation!)", "id": 21199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Be prepared!\" to the surgeon I plead,\n\"Have each instrument that you may need.\nAs you slit through my skin\nTo repair what's within,\nUse the cautery; then I won't bleed.\"", "id": 21200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some say \"CAV-i-ar,\" some \"cav-i-AR,\"\nYet the second sounds better by far.\nYou'll impress any wench\nIf you sound like you're French\u2014\nBut you'll gasp at the price of the jar.", "id": 21201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Broad-leaved forests have trees that have got\nOutspread leaves that give shade. They've a lot\nOf those cool, leafy bowers\nWhere folks stroll for hours\u2014\nIt's needles that these trees have not.", "id": 21202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's so sad, being sick, but what's sadder\u2014\nMy nurse makes me madder and madder.\nThat dame with ten thumbs\nWith a catheter comes\nAnd tries ramming it into my bladder.", "id": 21203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bento's a Japanese lunch\nMade with rice and with veggies that crunch.\nIt is served in a box,\nAnd it may include lox;\nThat you'll like it a lot is my hunch.", "id": 21204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "'Cause he left me and traveled away\n'Cross the causey that stretched 'cross the bay,\n'Cause he took all my cash,\n'Cause he caused me to crash\u2014\nSee a causey? It ruins my day!", "id": 21205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was wearing a camel's hair coat,\nAnd an ascot was tied at his throat.\nAnd he thought he was cool,\nBut he looked like a fool\u2014\nIt was summer; he smelled like a goat.", "id": 21206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend is really a winner.\nHe's upright; he's never a sinner.\nWhen he tells me he's hard up\nI don't put my guard up,\nWe betake ourselves home.  I make dinner.", "id": 21207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers and SheilaB", "limerick": "Every decade, the census invasion\nMeans I'm asked for my racial persuasion.\nI keep telling the man\nThat I'm beige-pinkish-tan,\nBut he wants me to say I'm Caucasian.", "id": 21208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm not dumb, but not known for my keenness;\nAnd I'm kind, but at times turn to meanness.\nI'm not strong, but not weak,\nSo what makes me unique\nIs what I like to call my betweenness.", "id": 21209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Florida orange is sweet,\nLike the Jaffa, a health-giving treat,\nBut you won't make the grade\nIf you serve bigarade,\nFrom Seville\u2014they're too bitter to eat.", "id": 21210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "While a beast epic tends to be long,\nAnd in verse (like a poem or song),\nIt's at base allegorical.\nEach creature's an oracle,\nShowing what's right and what's wrong", "id": 21211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've never been known for adorableness.\nThink, rather, in terms of ignorableness.\nBut although I'm no beauty,\nI follow my duty\nWith conduct that's free from deplorableness.", "id": 21212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A Bernoulli trial only can go\nIn two ways\u2014it's a \"yes\" or a \"no.\"\nIts results, not elusive,\nAre mutually exclusive.\nIs that clear? Let's get on with the show!", "id": 21213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a gallstone slipped down to obstruct\nThe path through my biliary duct,\nI relied upon Bill's\nMicrosurgical skills,\nAnd the gallstone was daintily plucked.", "id": 21214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When Balboa, the Spaniard, explored\nThe New World, was he using a sword\nCalled bilboa (a name\nThat most probably came\nFrom Bilbao) to reap his reward?", "id": 21215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your forebrain works well, you've a keen brain,\nAnd your cerebral hemispheres mean brain;\nBut the thalamus and\nHypothalamus stand\nFor emotion\u2014the mighty \"betweenbrain.\"", "id": 21216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All the vitamins found in the pill\nYou take daily, like biotin, will\nHelp you grow straight and tall,\nKeep you fit\u2014that's not all\u2014\nIf not cure, at least weaken each ill.", "id": 21217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I don't care, you can say what you please\nAbout what the birds do, and the bees,\nBut that won't make it so\nFor my ancestors, no!\nThey didn't descend from the trees.", "id": 21218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Atop an old column that's Attic,\nWith capital carving dramatic,\nAcanthus's greenery\nEnhances the scenery\u2014\nCorinthian, so charismatic!", "id": 21219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Their abdomens held overhead,\nThe acrobat ants came and fed\nIn this Big Top (my kitchen!),\nAnd now I am itchin'\nTo see that their circus act's dead!", "id": 21220, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Chef Yan's place, the Mandarin Bride,\nJust blew up, and there flew far and wide\nBits of Asian cuisine.\nPoor Yan landed between\nA wok and a hard place, deep fried.", "id": 21221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In a skirt with a felt appliqu\u00e9\nOf a poodle in soft shades of grey,\nA pony-tailed miss\nMight be given a kiss\nAnd be \"Bobby Socks Queen for a Day\"!", "id": 21222, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Her cacography puzzled the proctor,\nAnd during the MCAT he mocked her:\n\"Your penmanship's stinking!\"\nShe replied without blinking,\n\"Then I guess I will make a good doctor.\"", "id": 21223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the heavens the Greater Dog rose,\nWith his Sirius star of a nose.\nOrion might wager\nHis hound, Canis Major,\nTracks Lepus wherever he goes.", "id": 21224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "On a cold afternoon, about three,\nMy grandma would fix cambric tea,\nA drink sweet and mild,\nBrewed weak for a child,\nIn a demitasse cup\u2014just for me.", "id": 21225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "I gathered as soon as she sicced her\nGigantic pet boa constrictor\nAnd it swallowed me down\n(Au revoir, Jacqui Brown!)\nThat some comment I made must have ticked her.", "id": 21226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A pilgrimage held in the spring\nGave Chaucer his setting to sing\nHis Canterbury verses\u2014\nSome paeans, some curses\u2014\nOf commoner, cleric, and king.", "id": 21227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "For my kids, many things can cause itches:\nPoison ivy, mosquitoes, wet britches.\nThe cure? A pink ocean\nOf calamine lotion\u2014\nI grab it whenever one twitches.", "id": 21228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Her doorway was simply too small,\nSo they cut a large hole in the wall.\nA deliv'ry Caesarian\nWas performed for Miss Marian,\nLest her baby grand sit in the hall.", "id": 21229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The Lesser Dog, each starry night,\nWill herald the Greater Dog's light.\nThe bright star Procyon,\nNortheast of Orion,\nCalls the Dog Star to come into sight.", "id": 21230, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Said Catherine, \"Enough badinage!\nIt's time for my nightly massage.\nMy love, hurry hither;\nSit down; rub down my withers.\nI'm tight and quite sore from dressage.\"", "id": 21231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "I tried that new Botox Cosmetic\nTo make my old mug less pathetic.\nThough I've nary a line,\nI get called \"Frankenstein\"\n'Cause my brow looks like Karloff's prosthetic.", "id": 21232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An herb that's related to mint,\nWith blossoms of lavender tint,\nThe catnip's appealing;\nIt sends my cat reeling\u2014\nShe swoons at the tiniest hint.", "id": 21233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Anacondas don't take well to teasing.\nThey retaliate mainly by seizing\nSome buffoon by the waist\u2014\nLike a tube of toothpaste\u2014\nRight smack in the middle, and squeezing.", "id": 21234, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "His watchful eyes focused and steely,\nHe toiled up the tall campanile.\nAs the old priest ascended,\nThe tolling bells blended\nAnd shadows fell swiftly, surreally.", "id": 21235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The stuff makes her feel high and mighty\u2014\nThe water of life, aqua vitae\u2014\nTill they come to arrest her\nWith an alcohol tester\nOn Highway 13, in her nightie.", "id": 21238, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "On a picnic I took a young redhead\nAnd arranged outdoor fare on a bedspread.\nThere, under a willow,\nShe sought out a pillow\nAnd fell fast asleep in the bread spread.", "id": 21240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "It's a chase where you dodge and you run.\nIt's a short-barrelled, big-bullet gun.\nIt's to fight with a cow.\nIt's a furnace brick \u2014 how\nMany bulldogs can join in this fun?", "id": 21241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Are you simply confused or moronic?\nNot carbolic, you fool, it's carbonic!\nIt's the acid that is\nIn the liquids that fizz,\nSuch as club soda, seltzer, or tonic!", "id": 21242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If ever you see blue-eyed grass,\nYou'll experience plants that have class.\nAnd their flowers surprise;\nJust like little blue eyes,\nThey can wink in the breeze as you pass.", "id": 21243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Their misdeeds? In a book I compile 'em;\nThey're so raucous, I'd like to enisle 'em.\nLeave my kids for ten minutes?\nMy house and what's in it's\nA bedlam, just like the asylum.", "id": 21244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This limerick you might have written\nWith blacklead, if you are a Briton;\nBut as I'm a Yank,\nI have graphite to thank.\nIs your pencil, like mine, badly bitten?", "id": 21245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though I may wish to add electricity,\nIn limerick-writing, simplicity\nWorks best, but what's nifty:\nBy number 450,\nI write them with automaticity.", "id": 21246, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In this city, my uncle is mayor.\nMy aunt is D. Trump's chief purveyor,\nBut my cousin's a brawler,\nA battler, a mauler;\nThey refer to him as an \"affrayer.\"", "id": 21247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cat's-paw's a knot sailors make,\nOr a breeze that will ripple a lake;\nBut it's also a fool\nWho's a dupe or a tool\nFor a con man\u2014a phony, a fake.", "id": 21248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's an excellent play.  Here's the beauty part:\nMy sister-in-law plays the cutie-part,\nWhile my mom plays the matron,\nAnd Dad, the arts patron,\nWill put up the funds\u2014play his duty-part.", "id": 21249, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Afrormosia: African wood\nThat for furniture-making is good.\nSince it's hard and it's sleek\nAnd it's rather like teak,\nI would buy some today if I could.", "id": 21250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "The corporal's \"r\"s seemed to go:\n\"That was weally a wight woyal show.\"\nThe sergeant said \"Thanks,\nGive the order \u2014 break ranks.\"\n\"Ooh, I think I'd best not, don't you know.\"", "id": 21251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Calamity plucks at a quill,\nSinging \"whip crack-away\" with a will.\nWith Jane's fine fancy cargo\n(Brought care of Wells Fargo),\nThe Deadwood stage rides round the hill.", "id": 21252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "To impress me, my gourmet-type date\nPlaced our order: \"It's truly first rate!\"\nWell, his high-class carpaccio?\nPrimo garbaccio:\nRaw, oily meat on a plate!", "id": 21253, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and DenmarK", "limerick": "Most fearsome of all of the flails\nIs the cat \u2014 that's the cat o' nine tails.\nThe tar began stripping,\nJust dreading his whipping.\nIt took the wind out of his sails.", "id": 21254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The cat's swallowed up the canary\nAnd is proud of the deed he's done\u2014very!\nI'd just love to erase\nThat smug grin on his face!\nHe's left only the feathers to bury.", "id": 21255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "When the kid saw his sis start to doze\nIn her pasta, he suddenly froze.\nThen the boy cachinnated,\nLaughing loudly, elated,\nAnd shot chocolate milk from his nose.", "id": 21256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The vicar, who finds vespers boring,\nIs spied by the altar boy, snoring.\nHe nests in the apse\nNear the altar for naps,\nIn the wing where the church dome is soaring.", "id": 21257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Baked Alaska's a pleasure to eat,\nThough making it's really a feat.\nIts fair banks of meringue\nEnd a meal with a bang!\n(Did Juneau it's my favorite treat?)", "id": 21258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Some cake bakers' jewelry is crum-bling;\nSinging mendicants might select hum-bling.\nKids leave mothers mum-bling;\nCheck out that drunk's rum-bling;\nAnd a tramp won't be seen without bum-bling.", "id": 21259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A vegetable juicing machine\nGave my sister too much carotene.\nHer skin slowly grew\nA bit orange in hue.\nNow we light her up each Hallowe'en.", "id": 21260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "If you're able, or let, you can do.\nCan's \"a tin\" and \"Canadian\" too.\nSaying two cans in France\nCan be cancan \u2014 a dance.\nAnd in slang, it's \"a jug\" and \"a loo\".", "id": 21261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "This diminutive dog is a whiner.\nHe complains that his brother is finer \u2014\nIn size and in name\nAnd celestial fame.\nNonetheless, he's a star, Canis Minor.", "id": 21262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "He informed the girl, right from the start:\n\"Your garlic breath keeps us apart.\"\nShe swore off aioli\nAnd Mom's guacamole\nTo capture Count Dracula's heart.", "id": 21263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "It's element number three-three,\nThe metalloid arsenic. You'll see\nIf it's paired with old lace,\nMen fall flat on their face,\nNot to mention Madame Bovary.", "id": 21264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Bo Peep and Boy Blue just got fired.\nJust how were those kids ever hired?\nAll her sheep won't come home;\nIn the corn his cows roam.\nBlow your horn, kid! Those beasts should be byred!", "id": 21265, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "There surely was no misconstruing\nWhen Grandma went in for her bluing.\nHer hairstylist Murph\nMade her look like a Smurf,\nSo Gram and her lawyer are suing.", "id": 21266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Canadians Banting and Best\nSought a hormone\u2014a drug to arrest\nThe disease diabetes.\nThey'd heard folks' entreaties.\nWith insulin, prayers were addressed.", "id": 21267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "When Androcles, in the arena,\nSaw Leo, his face became green. \"A\nRepast of me now?\nI'd make tough lion chow.\nWon't the audience please throw Purina?\"", "id": 21268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"How's the carpet they laid in your flat\nWhen the old one got chewed by a rat?\"\n\"Well, y'know if some guy\nPokes a stick in your eye\u2014\nSay a burnt one? It's better'n that.\"", "id": 21269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles and Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Judge Victor's last obiter dictum\nHad some casual comments that ticked 'em.\nSo they fetched their constrictor\nAnd angrily sicced 'er\nOn Victor, the snake's latest victim.", "id": 21270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Those vegetables known as cruciferous\nAre likely to be odoriferous.\nA cauliflower stewed\nCan smell horribly rude\u2014\nLike sulf'rous debris Carboniferous.", "id": 21271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The lovely cantatas of Bach'll\nEnthrall me like strains of the Pachel-\nbel Canon. Their sweetness\nLends peace and completeness\nAnd soothes me in times of debacle.", "id": 21272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "For Tristan 'twas love at first sight,\nAnd his heart, cased in armor, took flight.\nTo Iseult he's endearing,\nBut she's constantly fearing\nThat thing that goes bump in the knight.", "id": 21273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "It's an eighth of a buck or a byte\nOr the mouthpiece an equine holds tight;\nA brief moment in time,\nA small piece of this rhyme\u2014\nAll are bits in this verse I indite.", "id": 21274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Has that Chanticleer romanced the chickens?\nHave those biddies become easy pickin's?\nCandle eggs with a light\u2014\nThere are signs there, all right,\nThat that rooster's been raising the dickens!", "id": 21276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "When he had any chance to embarrass\nPolonius, Hamlet would harass\nThe codger for prying\nAnd shamelessly spying\u2014\n'Til he skewered him right through the arras.", "id": 21277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "It's me mate as I'm having to thank\nFor last night. I suppose that we drank.\nFor surely said he,\n\"Let's us two barleybree.\"\nThen the rest of the evening's a blank.", "id": 21278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The doc made a quick diagnosis:\n\"You're a victim of atherosclerosis.\"\nBut some angioplasty\nCompressed all the nasty\nOld plaque and prevented thrombosis.", "id": 21279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "A Byrd-loving cellist was keen\nTo play music from 1616.\nBut the guy was chucked out\nBy the gambists' rude shout:\n\"Hey, you're sharp! We're at A415.\"", "id": 21281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Wellington Wells", "limerick": "Should you want to import some gazelle,\nYou must speak to the pronghorn cartel.\nTo improve on their prices,\nI'd say my advice is\nTo claim that you hate how they smell.", "id": 21282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Mr. Whiskers was always demonic,\nRunning circles at speeds supersonic.\nBut he's now taken ill,\nSitting slack-jawed and still...\nSo the vet gave our poor cat a tonic.", "id": 21283, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your joints have become ankylotic,\nSome observers may think you're neurotic.\nYou may seem quite depressed,\nThough you're doing your best\nWith a gait that's so stiff it's robotic.", "id": 21284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To anastomose blood vessels, sew\nWith a surgical needle.  Although\nYou must be quite precise,\nThe results will be nice,\nWith an effortless, life-giving flow.", "id": 21285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For my illness, a medical panel\nRecommended a calcium channel-\nType blocker, for cells\nIn my heart.  My aunt Belle's\nSage advice? \"Just wrap up in red flannel.\"", "id": 21286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "How he came, he may never reveal,\nBut it must have been quite an ordeal,\nSince by nature's decree\nHe should swim in the sea:\nHe's the small spotted Caspian seal.", "id": 21287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I wanna just let out a howl:\n\"You've purchased another damn vowel?!\nI'd buy you a muzzle\nAnd solve the damn puzzle!\"\nI'M RE_DY T_ THR_W IN THE T_WEL.", "id": 21288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bonnet could sit on your head,\nSkirt a sail, or trap fishies instead.\nIt could perch on a lorry\u2014\nA whole 'nuther story\u2014\nOr turn grass into milk in a shed.", "id": 21289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A moody young doodler named Parker\nFound his art was becoming much darker,\nSo he fled to Tahiti\nTo draw his graffiti\u2014\nGauguin with indelible marker.", "id": 21291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The crash of that big corporation\nCaused my beggaring (pauperization).\nSince I pressed to invest,\nIt has left me distressed,\nWith my pockets in need of donation.", "id": 21292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bull gave a heart-rending cry\nSince, befuddled, he couldn't see why,\nSo malignly inclined,\nWe've been trying to blind,\nTaking aim at some hapless bull's eye.", "id": 21293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Two conceptual approaches avail\nFor progressions in level and scale:\nTop-down first depends\nOn detecting the trends;\nBottom-up starts involved with detail.", "id": 21294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Will Archie the Architect tire\nOf designing his spires ever higher?\nArchie, roguish and sly,\nGives his archest reply:\n\"Such a height is required to inspire!\"", "id": 21295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A blessing upon thee, young squirt.\nOnce barefoot and tan-cheek'd thou wert.\nBut as Whittier wrote,\nThou hast grown up to vote\nFor The Man, and become a stuffed shirt.", "id": 21296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The cantharis beetle and kin\nMake secretions that blister the skin.\nArdent suitors rely\nOn the ground Spanish fly\nTo induce se\u00f1oritas to sin.", "id": 21297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Our bookkeeper looked so inept,\nMaking errors in books that she kept,\nThough it's quite element'ry\nTo use double-entry\nTo make her technique more adept.", "id": 21298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Taking brunch on the branch of our tree,\nSat old Corvus and Robin and Me.\nThough in Pussy's attack,\nFeathers flew, red and black,\nWe've a neat pile of fur. Come and see.", "id": 21299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since the blacksnakes, or rat snakes, extend\nUp to six slith'ry feet end-to-end,\nMight a snake, half-awake,\nGreet its tail by mistake,\nAnd become its own very best friend?", "id": 21300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you lie in resplendent repose,\nWith a bee but an inch from your nose,\nYou are busy ignoring\nThat buzzing (it's boring!)\nAnd asking for serious woes.", "id": 21301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Bonnie, a bonnie fine lass,\nIs a bunny, her costume seems crass:\nSilken rabbit-ears flare\nFrom her tangle of hair,\nWhile a cotton tail sits on her assets.", "id": 21302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If sisters were given their druthers,\nThey wouldn't have bothersome brothers\nWho scream and annoy\nAs they fight for a toy,\nAnd persistently do unto others.", "id": 21303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A fence or a border or bound\nCan be said to contain or surround.\nIt might stop an escape,\nOr, like bright yellow tape,\nLimit crime scenes where bodies were found.", "id": 21304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That chemistry student's ignoring\nThis sodium borate I'm pouring.\nIt has got lots of boron,\nAnd only a moron\nWould claim that this borax is boring.", "id": 21305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "No doubt that I oughta have bought\nA trout, like I sought to have caught.\nHad I gone to the store,\nI'd have paid slightly more,\nBut I wouldn'a become so distraught.", "id": 21306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some children don't care that you're tired\nWhen their toys come \"assembly required,\"\nAnd depending on whether\nYou've screwed them together,\nYou'll find you're reviled or admired.", "id": 21307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That boutefeu is fired up and delighted\nAt the riot he's lately incited,\nBecause fanning the flame\nIs the name of his game,\nWhere the passions of crowds are ignited.", "id": 21308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My mem'ry's a fleeting illusion,\nTossed about on a sea of confusion.\nI'm upset, and regret\nThat I'm apt to forget\nWhat I'd planned for this limerick's ending.", "id": 21309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the fish-lord is seated awry,\nWith his right foot outside his left thigh,\nHe twists rightwards: we see\nHis left arm clears his knee,\nWhile his knee's pointing up towards the sky.", "id": 21310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A coral, named Carol, related\nHow the amorphozoa she dated\nMade profound social blunders,\nWere all gutless wonders,\nAnd sponged all her cash, which she hated.", "id": 21311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "By chance, you have danced at a dance\nWith a dancer whose dancing enchants,\nBut if only you'd hung\nWith the one that you'd brung,\nYou perchance could get into her pance.", "id": 21312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you're painting your face with a frown,\nWith the tips of your lips pointing down,\nIt's abundantly clear\nThat you're stern and severe:\nYou're supposed to be \"Happy the Clown\".", "id": 21313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Callipygous: this word comes to mind\nWhen regarding a well-honed behind.\nThere's no need to be crass\nWhen you're making your pass:\nWith this term you will sound more refined.", "id": 21314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I've got seventeen kids I must take\nTo the ballgame, plus cookies and cake,\nAnd a rake and a hoe\nAnd some laundry, and so\nI've a carload that's making me quake!", "id": 21315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A candle, oft purchased in packs,\nConsists of a wick and some wax.\nIt is useful for nights\nWhen they've cut off your lights\n'Cause you can't pay the energy tax.", "id": 21316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"Allegations were made by a traitor,\nAnd I'll get the bitch sooner or later.\nIt will beggar belief\nWhen I bare my teeth.\nTell me now: who's the false alligator?\"", "id": 21317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When the dealer has dealt you your hand,\nJust be certain to stand as you've planned;\nWith two threes and three twos,\nYou're not likely to lose,\nSo just stay on your boat\u2014understand?", "id": 21318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I read it in this very paper:\nA crime by a scrappy young scraper.\nHe frolicked, quite tickled,\nStealing buds that were pickled:\nThe capering caper-bud caper.", "id": 21319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A Catholic lady from Dallas\nHad trudged through the Vatican Palace.\n\"Yoo-hoo, Popie, I'm beat.\nCould you please heal my feet?\"\nHis response was, remarkably, callous.", "id": 21320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "With the price of a gallon of gas,\nIt is finally coming to pass\nThat Detroit is uneasy.\nLong trips leave us queasy\u2014\nAmerica's carsick en masse.", "id": 21321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The set of those choosing the pope\nHas a number of members (who hope\nThat they all will agree\nWho the pontiff will be):\nThat's the set's cardinality, dope.", "id": 21322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A cardiovascular doc\nMakes sure that your ticker can tock.\nThis surgeon who wrestles\nWith fast-food-filled vessels\nAdvises you, \"Go for a wok.\"", "id": 21323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Tim Alborn", "limerick": "On the walls of the faculty club,\nBougainvillea, colorful shrub,\nBoasts of bracts that enthrall,\nBut has flowers so small;\nThere's the rub. Of this shrub, that's the nub.", "id": 21325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Wrap each spud in aluminum foil,\nOr you might lightly cover with oil.\nWhen it's oil that you use,\nOnly fresh should you choose.\nIf your oil gets too old, it'll spoil.", "id": 21326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Chuck Berry's a rock-and-roll king\nKnown from Boston to Bonn to Beijing.\nIt's a shame, I submit,\nHis sole #1 hit\nWas that piece of crap \"My Ding-a-Ling.\"", "id": 21327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "That pandering statesman's the bearer\nOf news: soon the laws will be fairer\nTo assist the promoters\nOf minority voters.\n(The blackface was prob'ly an error.)", "id": 21328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a pancake the Danish hold dear:\nAebleskiver, not often served here.\nNot disc-shaped or flat\nOr like anything that\nYou have seen in your life\u2014it's a sphere!", "id": 21329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Going balls to the wall, Raymond Massey\nHit the highway.  First stop: Tallahassee.\nTwo days later: Nevada.\n(This expression has nada\nTo do with that gentleman's chassis.)", "id": 21330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've got acne frontalis?  It mars\nBoth your forehead and temples with scars.\nCrusted lesions run riot\nAnd serve to disquiet\nThis fragile existence of ours.", "id": 21331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm taking a sweet-loving belle\nTo a candy boutique I know well.\nMy hope is my charm'll\nBe heightened by caramel\nOr, if she prefers, caramel.", "id": 21332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ajolote (we say axolotl):\nAn amphibian that if it's shot'll\nMake a very scant feast\u2014\nIf you're hunting the beast,\nYou can scoop it right up in a bottle.", "id": 21334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To mechanics, combustible gasses\nIn crankcases mean that gas passes\nThe rings of the piston\nAnd blowby's existin'\u2014\nI learned in car-maintenance classes.", "id": 21335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bioregion describes a community\nThat features a natural unity.\nGeographically bounded,\nIts balance is grounded\nIn grand ecologic impunity.", "id": 21336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A reviewer sees things in advance,\nLike a book or a play or a dance.\nIf he likes it, his praise\nCan encourage a craze.\nIf he pans it, it hasn't a chance.", "id": 21337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the ginmill she noticed a tar\nWho was bellying up to the bar.\nFirst he passed her a jug,\nThen he tried for a hug,\nBut his belly protruded too far.", "id": 21338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A groupie is often a pest,\nNot allowing a rock star to rest.\nNot permitting much joy,\nOne will always annoy,\nYet the problem is rarely addressed.", "id": 21339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Behindhand: it isn't a stroke\nUsed in tennis, nor is it a joke.\nBehindhand's what I'm\nIf I don't pay on time,\nAnd I'm late with my bills 'cause I'm broke.", "id": 21340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I want you to marry me, quick,\nAs our chemistries just seem to click.\nOur biocompatibility\nShould assure our fertility\n(And a transplant if ever you're sick).", "id": 21341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am seeking some jokes that befit\nAn occasion that calls for some wit.\nI've been asked to emcee\nAt a nursing home tea,\nSo the four-letter words I'll omit.", "id": 21342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The cathedral of Ely's wind blown \u2014\nAs 'the ship of the Fens' it is known.\nLike a captain at sea,\nSo the bishop must be,\nFor he runs the wide see from his throne.", "id": 21343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "When Normandy apples are pressed,\nGolden Calva's distilled from the best.\nFor every true gourmand,\nThe cleansing Trou Normand\nKeeps over-full stomachs at rest.", "id": 21344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "A caveman of lustful intent\nSought to show her what stalagmite meant,\nBut the cave-wind blew cold\nRound his rocks where they rolled,\nSo that what stalag-might-have-been went.", "id": 21346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "In Arcadia, rustic life ran\nTo the pipes of the great goat-god Pan.\nA male torso adjoins\nHis loose capriform loins\nIn the form of a lewd goatish man.", "id": 21347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I said I would always be there, dear \u2014\nTo love you and hold you and care, dear.\nBut now that I see\nYou're so careless with me,\nI'll take care and I'll take it elsewhere, dear.", "id": 21348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I'm a castaway, wrecked on this shore,\nAnd this whisky's the last of my store.\nI've cast empties away\nWith a message to say:\n'Mr Fiddich, please send me some more.'", "id": 21349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blackcap's a dulcet-voiced bird,\nIn the U.K. increasingly heard.\nAs the male birds wear yarmulkes,\nThey may appear comic-ous,\nBut alleging they're Jewish?  Absurd!", "id": 21350, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You've presented Plan A and Plan B,\nAnd explained that the choice falls to me.\nYou've said each will bear fruit,\nBut the issue is moot\nBecause neither plan mentions a tree.", "id": 21351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a child, I was taught all the dangers\nOf talking or walking with strangers;\nSo when Gramps shaved his beard,\nAnd thus beardless, looked weird,\nI ran screaming and called for the Rangers.", "id": 21352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The doctor was hailed in Montana\nWhen he moved to my town from Havana.\nThough his knowledge was scant,\nHe evoked Cary Grant\u2014\nAnd, my deah, what a smooth bedside mannah!", "id": 21353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Fierce Grendel's a monster who eats\nHuman beings, then finally meets\nWith an old superhero\nWho leaves Grendel zero.\nHe's Beowulf, King of the Geats!", "id": 21354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was down on the floor on his knees;\nThen my thigh felt his hand give a squeeze.\nWhen I kicked him aside,\nI could see it was Clyde,\nWith his usual charm and b\u00eatise.", "id": 21355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For her gingerbread house we had itched;\nThen the sorceress made us bewitched.\nNow with Hans in a cage,\nI get minimum wage\nTill inside her own oven she's pitched.", "id": 21356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In your travels, if ever you come\nTo Karachi, try not to seem dumb.\nTo a woman, take pains\n(If you're not citing drains)\nTo say \"Begum\" and never \"begum.\"", "id": 21357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some say \"bless-ed\" and others say \"blest.\"\nWhen our bishop grew old and distressed,\nHe said, \"Dress-ed art those\nWho are wearing God's clothes,\"\nWhen I guess what he meant was just \"dressed.\"", "id": 21358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's a barrel vault high overhead,\nLike the wings of an angel, o'erspread\nIn its circular arch,\nAs we reverently march\nThrough the church on the Day of the Dead.", "id": 21359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and mike scholtes", "limerick": "Faulty autacoids destine a critter\nTo life as the runt of its litter.\nDarwinian theory\nHas never been cheery.\nIt's bitter when others are fitter.", "id": 21360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A blastema has many a cell.\nWhat these cells will become, I can't tell,\nAs this tissue's so plastic,\nI find it fantastic;\nA bone, or an eye, or a shell.", "id": 21361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My husband would give me no peace\nTill I bought him a pint of cassis,\nBut I knew what would follow:\nConsumed in one swallow!\nThen he grinned and flew south with the geese.", "id": 21362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The soothsayer smiled, and then said\nHe could prophesy what lay ahead,\nRelying alone\nOn his amphicome stone;\nThen he asked me to join him in bed.", "id": 21363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Scotland, the term but and ben\nMeans a cottage.  Ben's used now and then\nTo mean inside\u2014\"It's three;\nLet's go ben and have tea.\"\nFor a mountain, the word's used again.", "id": 21364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My spouse bought a large bentwood chair;\nPaid a fortune, but I didn't care.\nThis authentic Thonet\nMakes me happy. I'd say\nIt's an heirloom beyond all compare.", "id": 21365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When your ship is at sea or in port,\nCertain microbes will sometimes make sport,\nBiofouling a part\nSo the engines won't start.\nBoth your patience and circuits get short.", "id": 21366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bacteriology: here is a science\nThat's always constrained by reliance\nOn a microscope to\nBring its critters in view.\n(It's a fit and effective appliance.)", "id": 21367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Benefic: it means \"altruistic\"\u2014\nAn opposite, then, of sadistic.\nWhat percent of us seem\nTo be either extreme\nIs a very important statistic.", "id": 21368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Adinkra's the fabric I use\nWhen cloth for new dresses I choose.\nThe cotton is fine\nWith religious design\nAnd it comes in some beautiful hues.", "id": 21370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "As his family watched with dismay,\nAnd the cancer progressed day by day,\nUndernourished and pale,\nHe was thin as a rail,\nFrom cachexia, wasting away.", "id": 21372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Jus' yo look at the mess tha' 'e's med,\nAn 'ear 'arf the saft things tha' 'e's said.\nTho' 'e might p'r'aps be willin',\n'E ay the full shillin'.\n'E's a barmpot, 'e's saft in the yed.", "id": 21373, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Afrocentric: The world, it is said,\nHas its culture from Africa led.\nWe descend, I believe,\nFrom a woman called Eve;\nOur descendants have spread from her bed.", "id": 21376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "RobertG", "limerick": "The bowler appeals, \"How was that?\nThe batsman's pad isn't his bat!\"\nThe umpire's aloof:\nHe hasn't seen proof\nThat the ball would have knocked the stumps flat.", "id": 21377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Star casting in Streetcar seemed sage,\nTill the actress's hamming caused rage.\nOur director won't brook\nThe carte blanche that she took,\nSo tonight he'll cart Blanche off the stage.", "id": 21378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "An old joke goes, \"I'm brown from the sun\";\nA colleague (who won't be outdone)\nSays, \"I'm Flatt from The Press,\"\nAnd I'd hazard a guess\nYou can think up lots more just for fun.", "id": 21379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Something brown on the floor made me shout.\nI bent down; it was cat food, no doubt.\nIt was mixed with some fur,\nBut I couldn't be sure\nOf which end of the cat it came out.", "id": 21381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Why does cat litter have me enthused?\nIt's a granular product that's used\nTo absorb feline urine\nAnd thereby ensurin'\nMy nose isn't over-abused.", "id": 21382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Old World, the blacktail appear\nTo be fish. Are they black at the rear?\nIn the New World, there's fur\nOn each him and each her;\nIn the Rockies, the blacktail's a deer.", "id": 21383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The back judge takes care of the clock,\nAnd he watches receivers who block.\nHe's a ref down the field\nWho keeps his eyes peeled\nFor fear he'll be wearing a jock.", "id": 21384, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "At the tip (acro-, Greek) in each line:\nCrossing words as in Scrabble design.\nReading columns' extension\nOpens second dimension.\nSTIC means line, so this fits rather fine.", "id": 21385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the test was announced, students groaned,\n\"Boning up is required, or we're boned!\"\nBut those failing to cram\nFor the midterm exam\nWere reprieved when the test was postponed.", "id": 21386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Borromeo's three rings, we divine,\nCan seem knotted, or not, by design.\nAny one of them breaks,\nAnd that's all that it takes\nFor the others to un-intertwine.", "id": 21387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What intelligent planner's design\nCould have bodied a species like mine,\nWith a corpus so poor\nThat it's hard to be sure\nIf intents were divine or malign?", "id": 21388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Her friends tend to ponder upon\nWhat poor Leda is drinking, or on,\nAs it's hard to believe,\nLet alone to conceive,\nThat she's getting it on with a swan!", "id": 21389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Whenever Babinski expects\nTo engage in some toe-curling sex,\nHe reflects that the curl\nOf the toes on his girl\nMight detect neurologic defects.", "id": 21390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The frat boys who come from the dorm'll\nGo to parties described as \"informal.\"\nThough it's staggeringly rude\nWhen they stumble in nude,\nThey don't think it's the least bit abnormal.", "id": 21391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When my heart problems started to burgeon,\nMy incompetent cardiac surgeon\nTook an auricle out.\nToo half-hearted, no doubt,\nMy resistance to all of his urgin'.", "id": 21392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What the poet would hope to define\nBy the end of the ultimate line\nIs a picture he paints,\nThough within the constraints\nOf a limerick's meter and\u2014uh, Rhine.", "id": 21395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Just imagine the Roman god, Janus,\nWith two fronts and no back\u2014and no anus.\nSo aproctous a god\nSeems impractically odd:\nWhat would so much redundancy gain us?", "id": 21396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Sniffed a Formula One racing star,\n\"Autognosis is better, by far,\nThan pedestrian knowledge\nThey teach you in college.\nIt means, I believe, Know Thy Car!\"", "id": 21398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Would Dawn, with her fingers of pink,\nPartickerly care what I think?\nJust in case, I should try,\n\"What a beeee-eautiful sky!\"\nSo her light doesn't go on the blink.", "id": 21399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the morning, the lady named Bright\nWould regret being faster than light:\nThough she's barely awake,\nShe can see her mistake\u2014\nHe's asleep in the bed on her right.", "id": 21400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The Burghers of Calais, poor guys,\nAre hungry, besieged\u2014hear their cries!\n\"We need food! Can we live?\nOh, what wouldn't we give\nFor a burger, a Coke and some fries!\"", "id": 21401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "In the anno hegirae's beginning,\nThe Prophet thought people were sinning.\nHe from Mecca set forth\nTo Medina up north\nTo continue his message most winning.", "id": 21402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Let's try walking, for that's where it's at.\nAnd then soon we'll be thinner than Sprat.\nOf course, we've no choice\nPlus no cause to rejoice,\nFor two tires on the car are aflat.", "id": 21403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Milkmaid Heidi was once heard to utter,\n\"My mom surely knew.\" (Mutter, mutter.)\n\"Shake cream in an urn,\nGive a turn with a churn,\n'Til the fats coalesce into butter.\"", "id": 21404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The deli man raved in detail\nOf a product he made out of snail.\n\"It's so shiny and swirly\nAnd tasty\u2014Hey Shirley,\nThere's sliced abalone for sale!\"", "id": 21405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "With wit, eighteen I's, with six G's,\nWent with N's, nineteen high, eighteen T's;\nI get W's ten;\nTwinning X's twine, then\nWithin ten S-H twins, nineteen E's.", "id": 21406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A skin with its surface laid bare\nBy removal of fur, without hair?\nThe term barehide is used,\nThough that might be confused\nWith a shortage of garments to wear.", "id": 21407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Shooting fish in a barrel's a snap,\nYou could give them both barrels, mayhap.\nWhen some grouper named Darryl\nTook his turn in the barrel,\nHe was over a barrel (\"Oh, crap!\").", "id": 21408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The yogini sought balance and chose\nA vinyasa designed in its flows,\nSo that lefty and righty\nWere equally mighty,\nAmbidextrously holding each pose.", "id": 21409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your pleadings we hereby refuse,\nSo you'll burn at the stake for your views:\nYour opinion's heretical\u2014\nAnapologetical\nApostasy none can excuse.", "id": 21410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the jungle, where once I was young,\nLearned from swindlers I hung out among.\nHeard that over in Eden,\nSome apple tree's needin'\nA swinger like me, with forked tongue.", "id": 21411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Here be limericks whose verse be diverse,\nMostly bad, though a few be much worse.\nSuch a poem opines\nUsing only five lines:\nI be grateful this verse be so terse.", "id": 21412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "An ornament worn near the chin,\nThat's attached to your blouse by a pin.\n\"What's the word?  What's the grammar?\"\nSays teacher. I stammer,\n\"Can I brooch such a subject and win?\"", "id": 21413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Hessian fly is the crop seller's bane.\nIn this small barley midge's domain,\nWheat and barley and rye\nAre all likely to die.\nFor the farmer, this goes against grain.", "id": 21414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The calliope's value is moot;\nIt plays music resembling a hoot.\nWhen it toots like a whistle\nThe noise makes me bristle \u2014\nVocal beauty is not its long suit.", "id": 21415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Annexationists love to annex\nOthers' lands; like huge reptiles, they vex\nAnd devour their neighbors,\nWhose primary labor's\nTo thwart the designs of T. Rex.", "id": 21416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I'll explain (since you asked) how it works,\nTo both have cake and eat it: the quirk's\nThat the two can't be done,\nSo you might as well shun\nAll temptation (unless chocolate lurks).", "id": 21417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A380's the biggest jet yet:\nWith this new superjumbo, you get\nOver five hundred seats,\nBut the crowding defeats\nThe pleasures of travel by jet.", "id": 21418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Cash register: dingus for dough,\nWith a drawer where the coins and notes go,\nAnd a whatsit to count\nUp the total amount\nThat your thingummy... customers owe.", "id": 21419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "A rancher awakens and shudders.\nThe night was so muggy he mutters,\n\"My cattle are out\nIn the damp. Little doubt\nUnder them will be dew on two udders.\"", "id": 21420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "\"Eat yer chips or I'll lam ye,\" he said.\n\"But our Daddy, I'd raither eat bread.\"\n\"Ye're no gettin' a bap\nWi' yer haddi. A slap\nIs what ye'll be gettin' instead.\"", "id": 21421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Some artists accused me of treason\u2014\nMy expressionist chimp was the reason.\nI showed off my barris\nIn the salons of Paris,\nWhere his art was the talk of the season.", "id": 21422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Who needs glory? The battle forsakin',\nI ran all a-fearin' and quakin'\u2014\nA hero I'm not:\nAll the others were shot.\nIt's a fool who ain't savin' his bacon.", "id": 21423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "There's a field backing onto my land,\nWhere I hear a rock festival's planned.\nI refuse to be cowed!\nToo much noise is allowed!!\nAny loud backing-band should be banned!!!", "id": 21424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As I poked through the alien dregs\nA monster hatched out of the eggs.\nThis tongueless aglossal\nWas simply colossal:\nThe aglossate ate both of my legs.", "id": 21425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "This is blackgum;  wood's soft, bark is rough.\nThough you barely can split the darned stuff\nFor a rail or a fire,\nIt has all you'd desire\nIn a chopping-block, see, 'cause it's tough.", "id": 21426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "\"A Whitman pastiche? Are you daft? An'\nThe subject's your robe?!?\", then he laughed, \"An'\nThe robe reaches the floor\nWith long sleeves? And what's more,\nThe poem's titled 'O Caftan! My Caftan!'??\"", "id": 21427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "A carrot is food for a bunny.\nA caret, in text that looks funny,\nAdds a word or a space.\nSee the smile on my face\nFor the carats I got from my honey.", "id": 21428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Let's deal with the matters arising,\"\nSaid the Chair, \"and I find it surprising\nThat the notes that I wrote\nWere so far remote\nThat they needed substantial revising.\"", "id": 21429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "He smiles; his words hang on the breeze,\nAnd you're longing to whisper, \"Yes, please!\"\nBut your hunky Svengali\nIs native to Bali.\n(You've never been taught Balinese.)", "id": 21430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Zazzy Ozzie in Zzyzx drinks fizz\nAt Zyzzyva Pizza, his biz.\nHe likes buzz, razzmatazz\nWith pizzazz, all that jazz,\nBut by late afternoon, a nice zizz.", "id": 21431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Pam Anderson's body is nice\nWith her cleavage enhanced (maybe twice?).\nShe's a big-bosomed broad,\nSo c'mon guys, applaud\nFor the human flotation device!", "id": 21432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "What becomes of placentas, post-birth?\nIt's a way to divide those on earth.\nAdeciduates deliver\nThe fetal life-giver,\nWhile contra absorbs all its worth.", "id": 21433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "If, in LISP, you would like to go far,\nRemember your cdr and car.\nFor the head, car is best;\nCdr gives you the rest,\nSo you'll loop and recurse like a star.", "id": 21434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The Schwaben, Alsatians, and Swiss\nAre close neighbours of Baden, and this\nRegion lives without border,\nIn safety, wealth, order:\nSixty years now of peace, oh what bliss!", "id": 21435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My Sunday out's ruined! You said\nWe could catch Johnny Ray, but he's dead.\nAnd Ray Charles? Gone too;\nGuess the beach has to do,\nSo let's just catch some rays there instead.", "id": 21436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Hang a rope from a tree to a tree;\nWatch the cable of cable TV.\nYou'd be wont to remark\nThey hang down in an arc.\nCatenary's the curve that you see.", "id": 21438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A campfire's a small conflagration;\nAround it, we sing of our nation,\nWhich makes us reflect\nOn the folks we elect\u2014\nA rather depressing sensation.", "id": 21439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "A caterwaul sounds like the roar\nOf a cat with its tail in a door;\nIt's oft heard in the street\nFrom a feline in heat.\nIt's pronounced \"arr-ooh-eee-urr-owr-oar.\"", "id": 21440, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Regard apomorphic statistics,\nAnd study related cladistics.\nThey suggest Darwin, C.\nWas correct, or should we\nJust go back to believing in mystics?", "id": 21441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "His thinking's not what I'd call logical;\nHis rantings are quite demagogical.\nHe can't pull his weight\nIn a reasoned debate.\nHis arguments? Always hodge-podgical!", "id": 21442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "All in wool that's expensive I'm dressed.\nI spent a week's pay on my vest.\nYou might think it's funny,\nBut what good is money?\nThat's mere cash, but it's cashmere that's best!", "id": 21443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My father said, \"Count every cousin.\"\n\"That's hopeless,\" I answered, \"because in\nThis family I can't\nTell who's cousin or aunt.\nMaybe twelve, \u00b1 a dozen?\"", "id": 21445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I sure hope, come the next big election,\nWe can turn from our bitter direction:\nBush has torn us in two\n(Half in red, half in blue)\nBy dividing us \u00a7 by \u00a7.", "id": 21446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Never play with a knife on a bender;\nYou could lose something precious and tender.\nI was slashing while drunk\nWhen I sliced off a chunk,\nInadvertently switching my gender.", "id": 21447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Buying jewelry to make your wife glad?\nGet it wrong, and you'll just make her mad.\nDon't forget the 4C's,\nOr you'll never appease\nHer, you chintzy and coarse cheapo cad.", "id": 21448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In the wurst-eating race, I was first\nSince I'd practiced and drilled and rehearsed.\nI ate wurst after wurst\n'Til I thought I might burst\u2014\nThen I did: what went down was reversed.", "id": 21449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "You're not stupid; it's well understood\nYou've two choices\u2014but neither is good.\nBoth are far from okay;\nIf you thought you could stay\n'Tween a rock and a hard place, you would.", "id": 21450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "After battle\u2014according to Hoyle\u2014\nWe, the victors, deserve all your spoil.\nSo since we were able,\nWe pillaged your cable,\nAnd now we've a hoarding to coil.", "id": 21451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "On a honeymoon cruise with my bride,\nEvery move that I made was denied.\nThough I begged her for sex,\nShe said, \"Sorry to vex,\nBut I'm only along for the ride.\"", "id": 21452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "When a team-building day was suggested,\nAn abseiling course was requested.\nDangle blokes from a rope?\nYou haven't a hope!\nOur descent skills are best left untested!", "id": 21453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Some Chilean species of tree\nPose particular puzzles.  S\u00ed, s\u00ed!\nAraucarian features\nConfuse simple creatures\u2014\nEspecially monkeys like me.", "id": 21454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Both jacuzzis and pools are pass\u00e9!\nTo unwind at the end of the day,\nYou simply must have a\nCascade of hot lava\n(Hawaiian term: a'a).  Okay?", "id": 21455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Eating too much p\u00e2t\u00e9 de foie gras,\nI have increased my avoirdupois.\nAll my kids tell me that\nI am portly, not fat.\n('Cos I bribe them with chocolate!  Voil\u00e0!)", "id": 21456, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An unfortunate man from Peru\nWent dressed up as a bear to the zoo.\nAs he roamed thus attired,\nAll the keepers conspired\nTo entrap him \u2014 he's locked in Cage Two!", "id": 21457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "I got sunstroke when visiting Bali.\nThrough the fever, my wife looked like Kali.\nIndonesian beaches\nSeemed peopled with peaches,\nLike paintings by Salvador Dali.", "id": 21458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "\"Buy my fruit, try a Burgamy pear!\"\n\"Come and look at me dance with a bear!\"\n\"See the black tattooed man\nFrom remote Hindustan!\"\n\u2014The delights of Bartholomew Fair.", "id": 21459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Mrs Jarvis's art exhibition\nWill display, \"with the artist's permission,\"\nHer own drawings and sketchings,\nHer paintings and etchings,\n\"In a style reminiscent of Titian.\"", "id": 21460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings\nCan transport me to bliss on its wings.\nHis Concerto for Cello\nIs also quite mellow,\nBut his Essays?  Ephemeral things!", "id": 21461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Uriah the Hittite was furious;\nTowards David his plans were injurious.\nRe Bathsheba, his wife\nAnd the joy of his life,\nThe monarch had seemed over-curious.", "id": 21462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An ambitious young Cockney named Kevin\nMoved upmarket to South-West Eleven.\nIts pagoda, its park,\nBridge lit up in the dark\u2014\nHere in Battersea, Kevin found Heaven.", "id": 21463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The addition of pillars and gates\nTo small houses on modest estates:\nSuch aggrandisement wasteful\n(And not at all tasteful)\nOneupmanship surely creates.", "id": 21464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Said my teacher, adjusting his specs,\n\"A non-parallel line intersects...\"\nHere he seemed quite complacent.\n\"Two angles, adjacent,\nShare a point, and a side, in the X.\"", "id": 21465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "At birthdays, with grim regularity,\nI'm careful to show gender parity,\nPresenting gold pieces\nTo nephews and nieces\nWith genial avuncularity.", "id": 21466, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "\"Atishoo!\" he gushed, with each sneeze,\nSpreading germs and infectious disease.\n\"Only one?\" we yelled back\u2014\n\"Take the whole bloomin' pack,\nBut just cover your mouth, if you please!\"", "id": 21467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Donning wetsuit and mask is my rule\nBefore taking a dip in your pool.\nThus accoutred, I'll face\nEvery germ in the place\u2014\nAnd the girls will all think that I'm cool!", "id": 21468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "In the seeds of the almond, amyg-\ndalin lurks to entrap any pig\nThat develops a taste\nFor its cyanide waste\u2014\nAs a killer of livestock, it's big.", "id": 21469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "You visit a posh kind of spa,\nWhere you meet a girl wearing no bra\u2014\nQuite well-built, nothing wrong,\nShe looks strong in her thong\u2014\nYour surprise is expressed as: \"Aha!\"", "id": 21470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Keep writing good lims,\" Strolin preached.\n\"Use grammar that's good,\" speedy teached.\nTake a journey with me\nAnd we'll make it to \"z\"\nWhen our anapest destiny's reached.", "id": 21471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "This meeting goes on without end,\nWhile I sit here and try to pretend\nThat I'd not kill to take\nJust a five-minute break\u2014\nA recess or respite's my friend.", "id": 21472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The candlesticks fashioned by Jim\nAre all elegant, lofty and slim,\nWhereas yours are quite dumpy;\nThey're lumpy and bumpy\u2014\nYou can't hold a candle to him!", "id": 21473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When asked to be honest and candid,\nI try to be frank, evenhanded.\nBut a choice I must face;\nDo I fudge just in case\nAs \"a bitch\" by some jerk I'll be branded?", "id": 21474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "After work we all went to the caff,\nDrank some wine there and had a good laugh.\nBut the drink got to Mabel,\nWho danced on the table\nWhile naked \u2014 good grief! What a gaffe.", "id": 21475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Candied fruit was a holiday treat\nFor the family \u2014  homemade and sweet.\nThe fruit was first boiled,\nThen with sugar was broiled:\nA delicious confection to eat.", "id": 21476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A caique is a parrot or boat;\nI don't know if the parrot can float,\nBut the boat can be found\nIn the waters around\nGreece and Turkey, near islands remote.", "id": 21477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Crackling wood means it's time for a snack;\nToast your marshmallows golden, not black.\nThe campfire's burning\nAnd roasting sticks turning:\nAfter this no one wants to go back.", "id": 21478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "They're titania; they're three of a kind;\nOnly rutile is easy to find;\nAnd the anatase fair,\nGeologically's rare;\nAnd the brookite it's\u2014well, never mined!", "id": 21479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What's called bitterbrush grows in the West,\nOn the plains, and its taste's not the best.\nThough it isn't delicious,\nThis plant is nutritious;\nThe elk and deer eat it with zest.", "id": 21480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Says the leather-faced lady, \"Hey, you\u2014\nCan you lend me a spare Winnie Blue?\"\nYeah, there's nothing that Madge\nLikes to do more 'n cadge\nFrom a stranger a ciggie or two.", "id": 21481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Hear the town's rotting \"Welcome\" sign creak,\nNow it's long past its affluent peak.\nOnce, it bustled and thrived,\nBut it can't be revived.\nIt's a carcass, left empty and bleak.", "id": 21482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I fell while evading some bees\nAnd I scraped up my biscuits and cheese.\"\nMy expression looked pained,\nSo my daughter explained,\n\"That's just rhyming slang, Guv'nor, for 'knees.'\"", "id": 21483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Captivity's deadly. Repression\nProvokes a consuming obsession\nWith ways to escape,\nAnd when tactics take shape\nAnd then fail, I will turn to aggression.", "id": 21484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though each panel's a lively surprise,\nThis cartoonist draws nothing but lies,\nFor his characters smile,\nBut are trapped in the bile\nHidden deep in their bubblegum eyes.", "id": 21485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When you alter its form or position,\nA noun's not beyond recognition.\nIts meaning's the same,\nBut inflection's the game\nWith its case: its syntactical mission.", "id": 21486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Squiggled means of expression need praising.\nThis stanza at which you are gazing,\nLike all thoughts of jerks \u2014\nEven Shakespeare's full works \u2014\nUsed but twenty-six letters. Amazing!", "id": 21487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Sure, we're thrilled you've got seven degrees,\nAnd you're rich, and you've vast expertise,\nAnd we'd love to hear more;\nCarry on. (Just ignore\nWhile we snore, as we're catching some Z's.)", "id": 21488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": ". . And the liquid climbs upward in wicks\n: To form vapor that's going to mix\n: With the air in the flame \u2014\n: Light and heat from the same\n: Melt the solid \u2014 and now the flame licks \u2014\n: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :", "id": 21489, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A carnage admirer will thrill\nAt the number of men he can kill\u2014\nAnd of women, and girls,\nAnd of boys that he hurls\nThrough a... 'scuse me, I'm feeling quite ill.", "id": 21490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A sausage (though not pepperoni)\nOf beef, veal, and pork, never bony,\nOr nonsense pretending\nIt's wisdom unending:\nBoth go by the name of baloney.", "id": 21491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"My young son tells me nothing,\" complained\nA poor mom in a voice that was strained.\n\"He's now at that age; he\nKeeps secrets. He's cagey \u2014\nWon't say how his bed sheets got stained.\"", "id": 21492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In a Bollywood film that I viewed,\nTwo lovers just sing; no one's nude.\nThey won't kiss (it's taboo),\nBut in Urdu they woo\nAnd...(I won't blab the ending; that's rude).", "id": 21493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Army's like, \"Be all you can!\nBe recruited, whoever!\" Some plan!\nTaking dudes who abuse\nControlled drugs, have tattoos,\nOr are dropouts\u2014so who do they ban?", "id": 21494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "I host plenty of pooh-bahs and presidents,\nLaying caviar on without hesitance.\nWe consume lots of grub,\nSo upstairs in my tub\nI've appointed a sturgeon in residence.", "id": 21495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When I go for my boulevard stroll,\nThe Parisians consider it droll:\nBarely space in the street\nFor my giant clown feet\nThat persistently wobble and roll.", "id": 21496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You were bigamous, wedding with two.\nNow polygamous, bedding a few.\nYou can't bear to deprive\nAny woman alive:\nThat's so generous\u2014how big of you!", "id": 21497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When our vascular pain doth affright us,\nWe're informed that its name's angiitis,\nWhich is aptly perverse,\nSince it's Angie the Nurse\nDiagnosing our curse, vasculitis.", "id": 21498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since a bandsaw had severed his hand,\nThe guitarist was banned by his band.\nHe's most certainly hurtin':\nHis bandage is spurtin',\nAnd the gig would have paid fifty grand.", "id": 21499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale and Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Philatelists know their stamps well.\nEntomologists think bugs are swell.\nMusicologists know\nTheir \"Ray, Mi\" from their \"Doh\".\nCampanologist?  That rings a bell.", "id": 21501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Frisco, a candidate may\nBe a shoo-in for mayor today,\nBut he'll go down in flames\nIf tomorrow he claims,\n\"I'm not now, nor have ever been gay.\"", "id": 21502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When an iceberg is calved, it breaks free\nFrom a glacier and falls in the sea.\nGlobal warming is here,\nAnd with each passing year,\nPolar ice caps produce more debris.", "id": 21504, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cavorting young wildebeests cruise\nThrough the jungle, disturbing the snooze\nOf a ravenous lion,\nNow cannily eyin'\nHis dinner. (I hear it's bad gnus.)", "id": 21505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm filleting a shark in my boat,\nAnd its skeleton leads to this note:\nCartilaginous fishes\nMake wonderful dishes,\nAnd bones won't get caught in your throat.", "id": 21506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A report on the youth of today\nShows the parliament having their say:\nThere's one activist group\nThey have knocked for a loop\nIn a study called \"Yippie Cahier.\"", "id": 21507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A nibble of cake has educed\nA remembrance of passion for Proust:\nA petite boulang\u00e8re\nWith a sweet derri\u00e8re,\nAn affair, and a cook being goosed.", "id": 21508, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Fascination with birds' views \u2014 and fun:\nArchaeology, aerially done.\nFrom above, it has found\nThings unseen on the ground,\nIn the light of a red rising sun.", "id": 21509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mallard walks in through the door\nOf a bar and says, \"Gin, por favor.\"\n\"We don't see many ducks,\"\nSays the barman, \"Ten bucks.\"\n\"At that price, you won't see many more!\"", "id": 21510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Body snatching's a terrible deed,\nSo for Grandfather's graveyard, I'll plead\nFor a watchman who keeps\nA close eye on the creeps\nWho for bones have a jones and a need.", "id": 21511, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the garden of verse in her room,\nShe's been honing her skill with la plume.\nEvery blossoming flower\nAdorning her bower\nIs poetry: Sheila's abloom.", "id": 21512, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For their space flights, it's quite apropos\nThat our astronauts rake in the dough.\nOne who quit is now driving\nA shuttle bus, jiving,\n\"It ain't NASA salary, so?\"", "id": 21513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An airplane with trailers aboard\nCarries resin that's packaged and stored.\nIt's a birdyback flight\nHauling cargo that might,\nWhen it lands, find its vinyl reward.", "id": 21514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "It is simply a falsehood to claim\nAn agnostic's commitment is lame.\nOn the question of gods\nHe refuses all odds:\n\"I know nothing, and you know the same.\"", "id": 21515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh.adler", "limerick": "Our Mexican friend, Zenatobia,\nSaw \"wow\" painted on an adobe\u2014a\nWord so palindromic,\nIt gave her a comic\nBut nasty disease: aibohphobia.", "id": 21516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "A sensation of deep fascination\nCan rapidly turn to fixation.\nWhen enthralled by a theory,\nWe rarely grow weary:\nWe're lost in intense captivation.", "id": 21517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "So your s's resound off the wall\nAnd your p's, plainly put, just appall?\nEvery breath can be heard?\nYou'll give up?  That's absurd.\nSing across mike\u2014no hisses at all.", "id": 21518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "With something important to write,\nLike \"DANGER\" or \"DRIVE ON THE RIGHT\",\nYour elders and betters\nUse CAPITAL LETTERS.\n(The small ones just don't have that bite).", "id": 21519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Up in Maine, see the loons on the make\nAt the man-made Aziscohos Lake.\nWatch 'em getting it on\n'Til their energy's gone!\nThis is where they hang out for spring break.", "id": 21520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If your omelet has feathers and legs,\nThere are pertinent questions it begs,\nWhich are: whose was the cock-up\nThat let a cock knock up\nThe hens, and who candles the eggs?", "id": 21521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With his palace done up like La Scala,\nKing Mackerel hosted a gala.\nThough two haddock, with flair,\nTried to crash the affair,\nThe king's guards let in only cavalla.", "id": 21522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you feel like you're ready to ride\nIn the sky on the star you just spied,\nAnd your fate is about\nTo occur, there's no doubt\nThat your destiny's fit to betide.", "id": 21523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the Bronx, ambisexual means,\nLike, your \"heteroflexible\" scenes\nAnd becoming \"bi-queer\"\nFor a week or a year.\n(Those are terms used by Stuyvesant teens.)", "id": 21524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abu-Ghraib is a prison where shock\nAnd abuse were applied round the clock.\nWhat the powers-that-be\nTold the guards is the key:\nThat Geneva Convention's a crock!", "id": 21525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A thrice-married mogul from Texas\nBuys autos for each of his exes:\nA Chrysler for Rhonda,\nTo Mildred a Honda,\nAnd Cassie \"the chassis\"? A Lexus.", "id": 21526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Beriberi's a scary disease;\nIt appears when one vitamin B's\nToo deficient. You need\nTo remember to feed\nOn more egg rolls and liver and peas.", "id": 21528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the chef in the restaurant knows,\nThe beluga is old, and it shows.\nFor a food that's a tempter,\nIt's caviar emptor:\nBeware of those secondhand roes!", "id": 21529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cottage cheeses I'm making amaze,\nAnd the process has many a phase.\nAll the casein, each curd,\nMust be measured and stirred,\nBut with love as I count all the wheys.", "id": 21530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The centurions' ogles and jeers\nHad a young Roman woman in tears,\nTill she stopped their appalling\nBehavior by calling,\n\"Friends, countrymen, end me your leers!\"", "id": 21531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ever fearful of caisson disease\nWhen I dive, I ascend by degrees,\nThus preventing the bends.\nBut when driving my friends,\nMy Mercedes goes fast as I please.", "id": 21532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A seafaring wordsmith's reward\nIs the nautical terms he'll record.\nSo I'm making a note\nOf the plank on this boat.\nI'm not bored writing board while on board.", "id": 21533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Blues-rock is a musical fusion,\nA blend of two sounds\u2014an inclusion,\nLike Bobby \"Blue\" Bland\nOn \"The Weight\" with the Band\nIn a black-meeting-bluesy collusion.", "id": 21534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Block and tackle's for moving the stock,\nUsing pulleys and ropes, at the dock.\nA longshoreman recalls\nMany long-ago falls\nWhen, in football, he'd tackle and block.", "id": 21535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Through the Blitz lived a glutton so round\nHe was used as a blimp to confound\nHitler's Heinkel night fighters,\nTill, downed by the blighters,\nHe cratered eight acres of ground.", "id": 21539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An asseverating gal will assert;\nFor example, \"Don't stare at my skirt!\"\nBut perseverating guys\nCan't stop eyeing her thighs;\nUncontrolled, they continue to flirt.", "id": 21540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "I remember my dad seemed to be\nLike a giant, much larger than me.\nNow he's frail and so old,\nBlanket-wrapped from the cold\nAnd I kiss him \u2014 like when I was three.", "id": 21541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's the kind of a nostrum one shuns.\nIf you take castor oil, you get runs;\nBut our nanny, with pride,\nCast her oil far and wide\u2014\nBringing grief to our daughters and sons.", "id": 21542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Do they stand outside offices? No,\nThough they leave a black cloud where they go.\nA black smoker's intent\nIs to rapidly vent\nTo the undersea floor, down below.", "id": 21543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "A carriage or van on a train\nOr a tram is a car, I maintain.\nCall it box or buffet ...\nThough a Streetcar, they say,\nNamed Desire can drive you insane.", "id": 21544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "When you're not feeling quite up to par,\nAnd you've woken too early, by far,\nWhat you need is caffeine!\nSkip the milk, keep it lean,\nAnd head straight for a large caf\u00e9 noir!", "id": 21545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "With the cast of the die he'd no truck;\nNever played any game based on luck;\nNever sat in the sun;\nNever drank or had fun.\nWhat a tiresome and boring old schmuck.", "id": 21546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There was a young preppie named Carter\nWho was cunning, but could have been smarter.\nWhen he got a poor grade,\nThe proposal he made\nWas amending the private school's charter.", "id": 21547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Release the dark root creeping in,\nLest real hatred should truly begin\nTo devour your heart.\nPluck it out at the start;\nDon't let bitterness bite you and win.", "id": 21548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm a limerick-writing fanatic,\nThough their quality may seem erratic.\nThe best ones are clever,\nBut none whatsoever\nImperfectly apothegmatic.", "id": 21549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Altho is a word that can bug,\nOr a word we dismiss with a shrug.\nTo a purist, I know\nThe word is although,\nBut I'd pick altho (without ugh!).", "id": 21550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I know of a surgeon who botches\nProcedures he does on men's crotches,\nAnd I nurture a hunch,\nSince he works after lunch,\nThat his meal consists mostly of scotches.", "id": 21551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The acorn-shell lives on a rock\nOr the hull of a ship, or a dock.\nOnce it lands, it stays put,\nHolding on with its foot,\nThough it hasn't a shoe or a sock.", "id": 21552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When the breeze stops and temp'rature's climbing,\nAir conditioning's great. It's good timing\nTo go shop where it's cool,\nMaybe swim in a pool,\nOr get naked and do dirty rhyming.", "id": 21553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Are there any who're worse than these jerks\nCalled Al Qaeda? They say they do works\nOf avengers and martyrs\u2014\nThey're really just starters\nOf terror who die with their quirks.", "id": 21554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When we organize similar start-\nof-word sounds, we alliterate. Part\nOf the writer's technique,\nUsed in jest while we speak,\nIt suggests, some surmise, we're sure smart.", "id": 21556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Can't say why, I've aversion to what\nThis guy thinks, what he says or does. But\nI'll just suffer, keep still,\nThough I think he's a pill.\nHe's my boss, so I steam in this rut.", "id": 21557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "We adapt or we die; change is good.\nI'd stay put, be content, if I could.\nIf swift time would stand still\n(Which we know's not the drill),\nI'd be glad just to stay where I stood.", "id": 21558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I've been cheated, bamboozled, and fleeced\u2014\nAll wiped out. My damned partner has greased\nHis fat palms with my dough,\nLeaving only great woe.\nI could murder that damn freaking beast!", "id": 21559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "He's Big Daddy of all of our race;\nMade instantly\u2014hands, feet and face.\nFrom his rib there came Eve,\nThen they both had to leave\nEden's garden, sent thence in disgrace.", "id": 21560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I'm attuned, and in sync with the All;\nI'm zoned and now hearing a call;\nSo harmoniously blissed\nWith the wonder, I'm kissed\nBy a feeling that pre-dates the Fall.", "id": 21561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When they tried, in their folly, to build\nBabel tower (sky-scraping distilled),\nBy the Lord it was nixed,\nAnd their languages mixed,\nSo they wound up bab-babbling-dee-dilled.", "id": 21562, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Well...approximate, almost, just  near:\nIf it's not on-the-dot then I fear\nIt won't do. You can fight,\nBut it's not...er...quite right;\nCheck it out if you think I'm not clear.", "id": 21563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Now past thirty, he's finally retiring,\nOur Andre, whose games were inspiring.\nWinning many a set,\nHe'll be missed, you can bet.\nIs his future now champion-siring?", "id": 21565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I've got music wherever I go.\nWhen I'm coming, you'll hear me. There's no\nPlace I'm at where I'm not\nWith my boom box. I've got\nAll my music. I'm ready, man. Yo!", "id": 21566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Ken Bradshaw, that Texan, the boss\nOf all surfers: Instead of a hoss,\nHe rode a huge wave\nThat proved he was brave\nWith a record. He gathered no moss.", "id": 21567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "What an airhead\u2014she's hopeless, a ditz,\nWhat a screw-up! I lapse into fits\nWhen I give her a task.\nIs it too much to ask?\nBut she flubs every time. She's the pits.", "id": 21568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Heeere we are! Not so baby but boomers\u2014\nHaving swelled demographics like tumors.\nNow we've aged and grown older,\nOur days golder or colder,\nWe're all loaded, according to rumors.", "id": 21569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "My green yard is a great source of pride;\nIt's well-known, so I hear, far and wide.\nI don't need to mow\u2014\nPlastic grass doesn't grow;\nThat is AstroTurf's positive side.", "id": 21570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "When you learn the piano, the key\nThat is easiest seems to be C.\nIt's quite elemental\u2014\nUnless accidental,\nFrom black notes you're totally free.", "id": 21571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The term acusection's obscure;\nElectrosurgery's the word we use more.\nA charged needle they use\nWhen some lesions they choose\nTo destroy. It sounds painful for sure!", "id": 21572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In the cold frozen north, so they say,\nIs the land where the caribou play.\nThese large, antlered deer\nEvery Christmas appear\u2014\nThey're the reindeer that pull Santa's sleigh.", "id": 21573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "While camping one day, in the fog,\nI rested my feet on a log.\nAn acrasiomycete\nLeft slime on that dry seat\u2014\nNevermore will I camp near a bog!", "id": 21574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Alexis, the ruler of Russia,\nSaw no competition in Prussia.\nIn Razin's uprising\nIt wasn't surprising\nThe Czar acted quickly as crusher.", "id": 21575, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Austro-Daimler, concisely reviewed:\nThis automobile firm ensued\nFrom Daimler & Son,\nWho decided to run\nIn Austria, too \u2014 rather shrewd.", "id": 21576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Young Randy brought Sandy some candy,\nBut soon changed her over to brandy.\nHe switched \u2014 \"Ogden Nashed\" her \u2014\n'Cause liquor is fashter,\nAnd speed is the key when you're Randy.", "id": 21577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In Iraq, it's a terrible wrath\nThat a sarge named McGrath clearly hath.\nSoon the old regime's through,\nAnd their concubines too;\nHe has thrown out the babes with the Ba'ath.", "id": 21580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Is slapstick your chosen career?\nI advise you that laughter comes dear.\nYou will need a fresh shtick\nFor your number to click \u2014\nI suggest, \"Be the best! Pioneer!\"", "id": 21582, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A rapper with rhymes in the crapper\nTakes a ride in a time-machine zapper.\nTo the sixties he flies,\nJoins the bouncy-song guys,\nAnd does fine as a bubblegum rapper.", "id": 21583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My girlfriend got pregnant \u2014 no good.\nDaddy's angry? That's well understood.\nThe creep had me beat\nAnd then turned up the heat \u2014\nWe got pastorized quick as we could.", "id": 21584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a sheep who's despondently glum;\nEwe could say that her dates are all scum.\nShe needs macho, no scam\nFrom a guy on the lam;\nMaybe someday, her ram beau will come.", "id": 21585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When we're counting, we always begin\nWith a number, like one, or its kin.\nWhen they're young, children learn:\nCount each object in turn.\nIf they don't, it's a cardinal sin.", "id": 21586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Tommy Dorsey is playing the blues:\nCrossed the mob; now that's really bad news.\nSo his signature hit\nGot rewritten a bit:\n\"I'm Getting Cement Overshoes.\"", "id": 21587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Our commander in chief says, \"Attack!\"\nSo we're bombing, invading Iraq,\nWhich leads to embalming\nOf soldiers. Try calming\nWith balms? Not our president's tack.", "id": 21588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a farm with a farsighted rep;\nTo the latest of methods they're hep.\nNow their cattle are grazing\nIn meadows. Amazing!\nThey pasture-ize cows \u2014 saves a step.", "id": 21589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a finch with a mortified grin,\nAnd he's red from his tail to his chin.\nMuch too late he has heard\nShacking up with a bird\nIs considered a cardinal sin.", "id": 21590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a dentist in jail, Dr. Birch,\nWhose practice was put in a lurch\nBy the parents of minors\nWho claimed (little whiners!)\nHe conducted a cavity search.", "id": 21591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "From St. Peter's Basilica, Rome:\n\"Maisy loved Michelangelo's dome\u2014\nWants to cart it away\nPiece by piece to LA\u2014\nFor her Tupperware parties back home.\"", "id": 21592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Ankylostomiasis cases\nCome from working in tight, soily spaces,\nAs hookworms infestin'\nMistake your intestine\nFor some kind of bloody oasis.", "id": 21593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "My vegetable garden's a heap \u2014\nUndesirable plants look like <bleep>.\nIn my gardening book,\nThere's advice that I took:\nThe solution's to weed it and reap.", "id": 21594, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "In the Alps, lived a foundling so sad,\n'Til one day, came a woman, said, \"Lad,\nDon't you recognize me?\nI'm your ma, can't you see?\"\n\"Yodeladyhoo married my dad?\"", "id": 21595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Some outcomes are surely not plannable:\nMy boss said, \"You're fired, and bannable!\"\nWhat a total surprise!\nSo I ate him, with fries \u2014\nHe deserved it for calling me cannable.", "id": 21596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Superhero's your goal? You can try,\nBut there's more than just learning to fly.\nYou must always impress \u2014\nThat means dress for success;\nBe a capable cape-able guy.", "id": 21597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The government captures the flow;\nIf I'm surfing, they know where I go.\nStop the porn, stop the terror.\nThey can shove it and ... ERROR.\nDELETED BY CARNIVORE.  (D'oh!)", "id": 21598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Bizet cadged his beer from the barmen,\nAnd whimpered, \"I thought I'd go far, men.\nThe singers were flat\n(Though most suitably fat).\nIt's my fate to be dogged by bad Carmen.\"", "id": 21599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A crab in a cart on the street\nIs, in Norfolk, a savory treat.\nThe cart that it hides in\nIt keeps its insides in:\nThe shell that you crack for its meat.", "id": 21600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My teacher sagaciously starts\nWith the basics, before she imparts\nHer proverbial wisdom:\nWhat-isn't-and-is-dom\nLike, \"Horses don't follow their carts.\"", "id": 21601, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My mother will readily grant\nThat her woodworking talents are scant.\nShe defers to her sister;\nDirectories list her\nAs Carla, the Carpenter Aunt.", "id": 21602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you move all your holdings in here,\nThen no conflicts of interest appear.\nIt's a blind trust that's run\nBy a broker who's done\nSome investing in Skittles and beer.", "id": 21604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A lumberjack says to a cutter,\n\"We gotta dispose of this clutter.\nGet that skinny guy Gil\nRolling logs down the hill.\nHe ain't heavy; he's only my brutter.\"", "id": 21605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Life is over before it's begun\nIf you're living in fear; you're undone.\nGet a doctor to probe ya.\nYour ballistophobia\nHas made you afraid of a gun.", "id": 21606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Off we go, music blares, my head's spinning.\nHorses prance, moving fast, \"Am I winning?\"\nStart again \u2014 hear the bell?\nIt's the zoo carousel,\nAnd we ride round and round, children grinning.", "id": 21607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "He was running to keep from the law\nWhen he fell through the roof to the floor.\nNow escape's in the past,\nFor his leg's in a cast\nAnd two guards stand on watch at his door.", "id": 21608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "After twenty years kept in the store,\nIn the cask there is less than before.\nNow my whisky's half gone\nOff to heaven? Come on!\nNow the angel's share's left less to pour.", "id": 21609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When I'm driving, it's (to my dismay)\nGuaranteed I'll be going astray.\nA brain disconnection\nDenies me direction\nThat's needed for finding my way.", "id": 21610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The way Phil and Megan relax is\nTo wife-swap at Anna and Max's.\nThe Meg-Max entente\nDo whatever they want.\nShock reaction: an Anna-Phil axis.", "id": 21612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Upon the word bunyip let's focus:\nA beast of Australian locus;\nAn amphibious freak\nWhich lurks in the creek;\nA bog-loving bogeyman; bogus.", "id": 21613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Mr Camel, Sir, how do you do?\nWould you care for some tea?  What a brew \u2014\nIt's a most satisfact'ry un!\nArabian or Bactrian?\n(In other words, one lump or two?)", "id": 21614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Let's hear it for dear Warren Buffett,\nWho sees we're not doing enough.  It\nWill help many millions,\nHis thirty-one billions.\nWith only six left, he can rough it!", "id": 21615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A cloning researcher named Debra\nMixed some French DNA with some zebra.\nShe created a foal\nWith an angst-ridden soul\u2014\nA stripy, bereted cause c\u00e9l\u00e8bre.", "id": 21616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Ahinadab, Solomon's rep,\nTried hard not to make a false step,\nWhich was noble, except\nHe was wholly inept\u2014\nThat's how Solomon coined the term schlep.", "id": 21617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh.adler and Recumbentman", "limerick": "If you drink, due to some predilection,\nDirty water, your lungs, on dissection,\nMay be found to possess\nA huge abscess, no less:\nAn acanthamoeba infection.", "id": 21618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A bumblebee entered my netting\nAnd couldn't escape. It was fretting\nAnd buzzing about\nAs it tried to get out,\nAnd its frenzy was strangely upsetting.", "id": 21619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Muscle in when your rival carouses,\nRun after prohibited spouses\u2014\nJust count me out, Romeo,\nI've gotta go. Me oh\nMy, plague on both of your houses!", "id": 21620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Yes, I rode Junior's bike\u2014hit a boulder.\nI banged up my shins and my shoulder.\nNow homeward I hirple,\nMy bruises all purple.\nI guess I'm not wiser\u2014just older!", "id": 21621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Ernie, a handsome young eagle,\nThought his white-feathered head was quite regal.\nBut the ladies he called,\nHaving heard he was bald,\nSaid they'd rather go out with a seagull.", "id": 21622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "In Reagan's school menu debut\nHe said Heinz-57 would do.\nThat nutritional winking\nRestricted our thinking,\nWith catsup as Catch-22.", "id": 21623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Of the furniture-makers, I'm best.\nTwelve benches, eight tables, a chest:\nIn a day I'll deliver,\nBut please won't you give a\nPoor cabinetmaker a rest!", "id": 21624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "The detective drove fast in the car chase.\nHe smoked out the infamous Scarface\nBy grilling the sinner\nIn Who Burned the Dinner?\u2014\nA difficult mystery char case.", "id": 21625, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In cynghanedd, a bardic incanter\nRead a ream. (Would his scheme had been scanter!)\n\"Occlude all? A cloud'll\" \u2014\nAn ordeal in awdl\nBegan with this most obscure banter.", "id": 21626, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now pupils, please pay close att.\nTo this rule that I'm going to ment.\nIn this class we shan't shorten\nSimple words you get caught on \u2014\nAnd I'll not stand for any dissent.", "id": 21627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I kept goldfish when I was a boy;\nNow it's Japanese carp I enjoy.\nI've a fine breeding pair\nBut, I beg, please don't stare,\nOr they will not come out \u2014 they're two koi.", "id": 21628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I'm a fan (ooh)! I'll kick, scratch and bite\nJust to get (gasp) your autograph. Might\nI please get you to sign?\nIn my book would be fine...\nWhat's that? You don't know how to write?", "id": 21630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a bullfighter fights every day,\nHe should work up a thirst, I would say.\nDoes he drink yerba mates,\nSip teas, or down lattes?\nHis favorite's caf\u00e9 au lait.", "id": 21631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Although Butterfly's heart was now hurtin',\nThat her man would show up she was certain.\nBy her window she stood,\nThinking that's where she would\nBe most likely to sight her \"pink curtain.\"", "id": 21632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I saw Spider-Man try to escape on\nA castrated rooster, with tape on\nIts feathers, for grip,\nAnd his reason was flip:\n\"I heard Superman flies with a capon.\"", "id": 21633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Janet McConnaughey", "limerick": "When the cat got away from my granny\nAnd hunted each nook and small cranny\nFor cats from Kilkenny,\nI said, \"There aren't any.\nDinna fash yourself, lad, and ca' canny.\"", "id": 21634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On the wall of the bathroom was scrawled:\nHere's advice that will keep you enthralled.\nWith that girl without hair,\nAn affair has great flair.\nA good time? Call the belle of the bald.", "id": 21635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I fixed him a candlelit dinner,\nSince I thought I had found me a winner.\nBut romance went amiss\nWhen he gave me a kiss:\nIt turned out he was just a beginner.", "id": 21636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Camels are strong but look frumpy;\nIf you ride one your trip will be bumpy.\nA most useful mammal:\nThe Bactrian camel\n(The one who's excessively humpy).", "id": 21637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "My friend Byron the biometrician\nMakes biostatistics his mission.\nHe counts all the cells\nIn his alginate gels,\nAnd, with data, stamps out supposition.", "id": 21638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Dull green cabbage is one of those vegges\nThat is shredded or cut up in wedges\nTo be boiled with corned beef;\nThen it brings on the grief\nAlimentary\u2014you'll hide behind hedges!", "id": 21639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "A capon's a rooster whose loss\nMakes him more a fine meal than a boss;\nThough deprived of the joy\nHe might know as a boy,\nOnce roasted, he's heaven in sauce.", "id": 21640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and SheilaB", "limerick": "German Wurst, English sausage: the same!\nBut consider the blood pudding's name:\nBlutwurst sausage is trouble\u2014\nThe word sausage used double\u2014\nThough that isn't the source of its fame.", "id": 21641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The city of Basel is Swiss,\nAnd a visit would not be amiss:\nLots of sights here to see\n(Though it's no place to ski),\nAnd for lovers of art it is bliss!", "id": 21642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "L'Alsace, that is one of the parts\nOf old Europe that's strong in the arts,\nIn cuisine and in wine.\nWhat a pleasure to dine\nIn Alsatia (as found on old charts).", "id": 21643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Its cars sell worldwide\u2014aren't they great?\nIts cuisine and its schools rank first-rate.\nIf its spelling might trouble you,\nJust call it BW:\nIt is Germany's \"model-type state\".", "id": 21644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Whenever some others agree\nWith what I said\u2014or simply with me\u2014\nMy feeling is strong\nThat I must have been wrong.\nThat's the way Oscar Wilde used to be!", "id": 21645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Rhetorically used, it's a leap\nFrom pathos in speech, by a sweep\nOr a ludicrous change,\nDown to commonplace range,\nCalled bathos, from bathys, or \"deep\".", "id": 21646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The family of fungi named A-\ngaricaceae's crossing your way.\nHave a closer look, dear\u2014\nWe would otherwise fear\nYou might eat the wrong mushroom one day!", "id": 21647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Aspirin' to find a good pill,\nDoktor Hoffmann, whose father was ill,\nMade the aspirin\u2014thank heaven\u2014\nIn 1897,\nOur #1 painkiller still!", "id": 21648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Current counting of centuries BC\nAppears awfully awkward to me,\nFor the ancients (if sages)\nHad negative ages\nIf they counted the same way as we.", "id": 21649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "He's a male offspring seen from one other\nOf the children both born from one mother.\nThis guy or this maid\nNow might call him for aid:\n\"You must help me, you know, you're my brother!\"", "id": 21650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "There was a professor at Cambridge\nWho never went back on the same bridge\nFrom the College of Trinity\nTo his home's own vicinity:\nHe detoured to play with a dame...bridge?", "id": 21651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once it rhymed with \"on Sunday\" (for Swift)\nBut as usual the stress had to shift\nFrom bur-GUN-dy to BUR-.\nBritish tongues still prefer\nForeign wines. (Taste's a natural gift!)", "id": 21652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A fact that's enlightening's a lightener;\nIf you tighten your belt, you're a tightener.\nBut a person who finds\nHow to broaden our minds\u2014\nOr a substance that bleaches? A brightener.", "id": 21653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Our great alma mater will stamp us\nAlumni, and try to revamp us,\nThen ask for donations\nTo certain foundations\nTo fix up her ugly old campus.", "id": 21654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "This weapon, a dagger-like blade,\nCan be used by a rifle brigade.\nAs a tube in a heater,\nIt is peaceful, much neater:\nOf such bayonets no one's afraid.", "id": 21655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Though he wasn't the son of a queen,\nIn the dynasty number 18,\nAy was crowned as a king\nAfter Tut's death, to cling\nTo the throne for some time in between.", "id": 21656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "For calligraphy, get some black ink,\nA nice pen, some posh paper, then think!\nForm your letters with care;\nAdd some curls, but beware\u2014\nYou'll make a mistake if you blink.", "id": 21657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "They ask: would I like to go bowling?\nI demur. You should hear them cajoling!\nThey coax and they flatter.\nWhat I say doesn't matter\u2014\nI'm going to set the balls rolling.", "id": 21658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "We know carbon dioxide's produced\nWhen the power of oil is unloosed.\nNow it's time we must learn\nThat for each ton we burn,\nGlobal warming is given a boost.", "id": 21659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The fiery Reverend Ball\nThought \"cathedral\" when he heard the call.\nThus he rose to the Chapter\nAnd, sharp as a raptor,\nCanon Ball is the best of them all.", "id": 21660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "To be told to \"bog off\" (or \"get lost\")\nIs an insult that's frequently tossed.\nBut a BOGOF is nice;\nIt means something's half price\u2014\nTwo-for-one helps to cut down the cost.", "id": 21661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The canonical form, we agree,\nIs the way an equation should be:\nIt's a standard that's used\nSo that no one's bemused,\nSuch as y = mx + c.", "id": 21662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Over rocks, rainbow water will fall\nIn cascades \u2014 hear the waterfalls brawl\nWith that ring; as we listen,\nThey'll sing and they'll glisten:\nCascading, cantabile, all.", "id": 21663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Suffragettes, when in prison, campaign.\nBut their hunger strikes? Sadly in vain,\nSince the powers meow,\n\"Cat and Mouse Act! Allow\nTheir release \u2014 till they're healthy again.\"", "id": 21664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Errors happen, so don't be distressed,\n'Cause it's not half as bad as you guessed.\nSo don't lie, and don't run,\nJust admit what you've done.\nWhen confessed, things are halfway redressed.", "id": 21665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "When life doesn't go as you've planned,\nAnd the strife is too much to withstand,\nYou pretend nothing's wrong\nAnd you're jaunting along:\nYou bury your head in the sand.", "id": 21666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "There's something afoot \u2014 be aware.\nLet's open our eyes and prepare.\nThe tension keeps growing;\nThe wind's started blowing.\nIt's brewing. A storm's in the air.", "id": 21667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Capercaillie, a game bird, produced\nSeven chicks\u2014what a family boost!\nBut neglecting her brood\nMade them sulky and rude\u2014\nNow her chickens have come home to roost.", "id": 21668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Alas, that she's lamb-bedecked mutton,\nNot young, and for loving, a glutton.\nBut she strolls through my bowers\nAdmiring these flowers:\nI'll give her a bachelor's button.", "id": 21670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "As a botanist, thirsty for knowledge,\nYou'll have learned of this bead-tree in college.\nIt's in Java, you'll know,\nWhere azedaracs grow,\nFairly tall, with bipinnated fol'age.", "id": 21671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "This tale of disaster is stark.\nLittle Mark had a swim, for a lark.\nHe dived in off Amity\u2014\nThen, oh, calamity!\nLost both his legs to a shark.", "id": 21672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The timepiece to which others bow\nIs at Teddington.  There it ticks now.\nSuch an accurate clock\nGets the rate of its tock\nFrom some caesium\u2014don't ask me how!", "id": 21673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since I mix up the terms in biology,\nAnd I never could fathom psychology,\nThe advice spouts like geysers\nFrom college advisors:\nThey all recommend azoology.", "id": 21674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If you aim to cook food that sustains,\nThen a casserole's worth all your pains.\nSuch a  classy French stew\nWill bring credit to you,\nFor the dish, and the dish it contains.", "id": 21675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "You can walk to the top of this tower\u2014\nIf you're quick it may take half an hour!\nIn the car of the lift\nYour ascent will be swift;\nJust one minute if run at full power.", "id": 21676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are drugs that reduce the proclivity\nOf men to engage in lascivity.\nA source I just checked\nSays this kind of effect\nIs an instance of bioactivity.", "id": 21677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We'll be testing a radar technique:\nThe receiver we'll put by the creek,\nWhile up here by the tree,\nThe transmitter will be.\nIt's a bistatic system we seek.", "id": 21679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There are small letters: q, r, and j.\nAnd we've capitals: C, B, and A.\nI should follow the rules\nTaught to children in schools\nBUT MY CAPS LOCK'S BEEN STUCK THE WHOLE DAY!", "id": 21680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In the wake of the blast underground,\nThey went looking for gas tanks unsound.\nBut the tanks weren't fat \u2014\nThey were empty and flat:\n'Twas acetylene tanks that they found.", "id": 21681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "As I stood up to exit the train,\nAn old geezer nearby called, in pain,\n\"I'm just feeble, not sick.\nWould you grab me that stick?\"\nI leaned over and gave him his cane.", "id": 21682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Whet your hunger with sausage, don't dull it.\nRoe of tuna, or sometimes from mullet,\nMakes bottarga (botargo,\nNext country, next argot).\nPour some wine, wash it all down your gullet.", "id": 21683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My cards tonight aren't that grand,\nBut they're falling the way that I planned.\nThis master just hasta\nFill one more canasta\nTo score the most points on this hand.", "id": 21684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Seeing \"Ackerman breast types,\" you wonder,\n\"What adult site might these be found under?\"\nIt's not porn, though.  The answer:\nIt deals with breast cancer.\n...I assume you regret now your blunder.", "id": 21685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "They say eons and eons have passed\nSince old Yellowstone boomed its last blast.\nBut for those who still fear a\nTrip through this caldera:\nSay your prayers, and get out of there fast!", "id": 21686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Please excuse me a moment\u2014don't run;\nThat's my call-waiting beep, just begun.\nLet me put you on hold,\nUntil I have told\nOn line 2 what you said on line 1.", "id": 21687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "My teen thinks her spirit's repressed,\nSince I vetoed the way she was dressed.\nShe can call me uncool,\nBut will not wear to school\n\"Cowboy butts drive me nuts\" on her breast.", "id": 21688, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If you're wanting to alter the world,\nPrint a tee\u2014get that banner unfurled!\nI'd say, \"What a no-brainer\u2014\nBecome a campaigner!\nClimb trees!  Let's see bricks being hurled!\"", "id": 21689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "A cantankerous canon complained\n'Cos the canticle's colour had waned.\n\"Careless chorister boys!\"\nHe exclaimed. \"What a noise!\nPlease enchant with your chant, or be caned!\"", "id": 21690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "A hundred steel men on the beach,\nGazing seaward beyond their eyes' reach;\nIn the tide's ebb and flow\nAnd the setting sun's glow\u2014\nThis sculpture by Gormley's a peach!", "id": 21691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "All I need to prevail in the fray\nIs to join the rare few who hold sway:\nBono, Gates, Oprah Gail,\nElton John, Christian Bale;\nPlease just give me one ounce of cachet!", "id": 21692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Once your body and mind begin withering,\nAnd your actions and thoughts become dithering,\nFind yourself a nice place\nTo retire just in case\nYour caducity leaves you all blithering!", "id": 21693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "We soar up in a basket of wicker\u2014\nHuge balloon overhead, pounding ticker;\nThen with deft aerostation\nAnd smooth navigation,\nDrift back safe, glad to open our liquor.", "id": 21694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Our new marketing guru's a brander\nWho's convinced the big boss we must pander\nTo GOSSIPs no good\nAt working with wood\u2014\nNever mind that our product's a sander!", "id": 21695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The night breezes soothe like a balm\nAs I lie on the beach 'neath a palm.\nI hear ocean waves crashing,\nAgainst the rocks smashing.\nI look at the stars and feel calm.", "id": 21696, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In my kitchen the cabinetry's broke,\nSo I've ordered some new\u2014made of oak.\nThey'll have beautiful grains\nAnd resistance to stains,\nAnd hold dishes, and canned goods, and Coke!", "id": 21697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "I'm off to the dentist today.\nHe'll examine my teeth, and he'll say\nThat dreaded word cavity\u2014\nDental depravity!\nDrilling, he'll fill while I pray.", "id": 21698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When you badmouth male lawyers and blame\nThem for all the world's ills, it's a shame.\nIt seems wrong to slang men\nJust 'cause nine out of ten\nOf them give all the rest a bad name.", "id": 21699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Humidity's out. So are lights,\nNot to mention flash cameras, most nights.\nAnd it wouldn't be smart\nTo touch paintings\u2014our art\nConservator's given to fights.", "id": 21700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Those two guys down the street in nice suits\u2014\nJust ignore their suave hair and fine boots\u2014\nThat one there grabbed my locket;\nHis pal picked my pocket:\nThere's no way that they aren't in cahoots!", "id": 21701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "It's a canvasser\u2014hang up the phone;\nThese campaigners won't leave us alone!\nParty hacks ring our line\nAs we sit down to dine:\nOur vote's lost amid groans as they drone!", "id": 21702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "O'er thy breast I rejoice so hedonic.\nNow dark! I repine histrionic.\nThough, Muse, I tried vainly,\nMy lim'ricks are mainly\nSardonic and far from Byronic.", "id": 21703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "It's an obsolete meaning of car;\nIt's from Scotland or Canada \u2014 far\nFrom the place where I stay.\nAnd it means? Why, a sleigh\nOr a sledge! Shall we head for the bar?", "id": 21704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "A cadger's the kind of a codger\nWho'll beg off his rent as a lodger;\nHe'll entreat you to share\nYour best clothes 'til you're bare\u2014\nHe's a moocher, a harp-ful old dodger.", "id": 21706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though it's based on the Julian day,\nThe Besselian epoch's pass\u00e9.\nAll those tropical dates\nOn astronomers' plates\nIndigestibly got in the way.", "id": 21707, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Gagging Acts rankled Tom Wooler,\nHis radical ragging grew fuller,\nAnd he published Black Dwarf\nIn the hopes it would morph\nTo a Parliament pusher and puller.", "id": 21708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Every student of physics now knows\nWhere the lost binding energy goes,\nAnd how Sol, in collusion\nWith hydrogen fusion,\nCan blister the end of your nose.", "id": 21709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I have ice on the tip of my nose.\nI cannot feel my fingers or toes,\nAnd this wind from the North\nMakes me loath to go forth:\nIt is bitter, when Boreas blows.", "id": 21710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "This table-saw owner's abashed:\nBy its arbor and blade, he was lashed,\nAnd its legacy lingers\nIn carpenters' fingers \u2014\nThe missing, the shortened, the smashed.", "id": 21711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"Close your eyes! Open wide!\" she'd entreat,\nAnd I'd do it, awaiting a sweet.\nShe expected a smile,\nBut the flavor was vile\nAnd my face was as red as that beet.", "id": 21712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Last winter we formed a cabal\nTo recover the rule of Transvaal.\nBut now Google insists\nIt no longer exists,\nAnd we're lost in Kwazulu-Natal.", "id": 21713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With the pitiless gaze of a hawk,\nIn a pit, archaeologists stalk.\nFor the bits of the mole,\nStratigraphic control\nIs the role of the sides of the baulk.", "id": 21714, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When stars have exhausted their fuel,\nThey'll explode, or just sit there and cool.\nIt takes billions of years,\nBut degenerate spheres,\nThe black dwarfs, cannot covet a joule.", "id": 21715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "After Einstein resolved to eschew\nAny quantum-entanglement view,\nBell's theorem was proved\nAnd our doubts were removed:\nAll the rules are up-ended anew.", "id": 21716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Swiss pikemen would charge in a line,\nAnd from Basel, that squats o'er the Rhine,\nCame the dagger employed\nTo dispatch the destroyed:\nBitter baselard, bloody design.", "id": 21717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This CEO's really a splurger,\nAnd when challenged, he's likely to perjure.\nWhen he ventures to urge\nThat our companies merge,\nI am definitely antimerger.", "id": 21718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The district's archbishop holds sway\nOver running the church, day to day.\nIf I search for a word\nThat is less often heard,\nArchprelate I likewise can say.", "id": 21719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Androphobic, she's fearful of males,\nAnd whenever she sees one, she pales.\nSo if she were in charge\nOf the country at large,\nShe would lock them all up in the jails.", "id": 21720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a bootleg, or boot cut, your pants\nWill flare out to give boot tops a chance\nIn the pant leg to snuggle,\nWhile bootleggers smuggle\nThe hooch that you swig at the dance.", "id": 21721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All sermons should be apolitical,\nWith the focus on God.  It is critical\nThat they don't back one slate,\nKeeping Church out of State;\nWhen combined, they become parasitical.", "id": 21722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I will never forget Auntie Mame;\nIn the play she burns bright as a flame.\nSpend an evening with her\nAnd you'll have to concur\nBroadway never will be quite the same.", "id": 21723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For a term to describe someone who\nIs not older or younger than you,\nTry a soul mate? (dismay)\nTry a checkmate? (no way!)\nBut an age-mate's the mate that will do.", "id": 21724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With a platform of wood as its fronting,\nOur capitol's covered in bunting.\nThe Governor's greeting\nThe NRA meeting,\nForgetting he's been antihunting.", "id": 21725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the Alps I am happy to be,\nAlthough skiing was never for me.\nI am awful at sports,\nBut I love Sacher tortes,\nAnd adore the resorts' apr\u00e8s-ski!", "id": 21726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To me the man seemed antimacho,\nA lover of brie and gazpacho.\nHe kept us from ruin\nAnd asked, \"How'm I doin'?\"\nI refer to the mayor Ed Koch-o.", "id": 21727, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I found medical school quite a drag.\nThe diseases I saw made me gag.\nAn old herbalists' book\nHad my answer; just look\u2014\nFilled with allheal, my little black bag.", "id": 21728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a man from Del Mar\nWhose license plate fell off his car.\nHis response, automatic,\nWas antibureaucratic:\nHe repaired to the neighborhood bar.", "id": 21729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His costume was yellow and black;\nIt had stripes running round to the back.\nAnd John's beelike appearance\nDelighted adherents\nOf SNL's killer bee track.", "id": 21730, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm bushed, it's my favorite thing;\nIt can make me feel rich as a king.\nIn my bathtub I soak;\nI'm a prince among folk,\nTill it's done and I clean out the ring.", "id": 21731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Their targets were easily named.\nAnti-Soviet missiles were aimed\nAt those reds who once vowed\nThey would bury us, proud\nOf their might \u2014 it's those commies we blamed.", "id": 21732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He writes music that orchestras play,\nAnd conducts in a calm, graceful way,\nBut I'd bet all my PEZ\nThat our maestro Boulez\nGets upset when they call him \"boo-LAY.\"", "id": 21733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Edward Jenner produced live vaccine\nAgainst smallpox, a virus that's mean,\nWhile vaccines of killed germs,\nIn bacterial terms,\nAre called bacterins.  Now they're routine.", "id": 21734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My broker's an old Cantabrigian.\nHis chambers are gloomy and stygian.\nI am fast going broke\nIn the hands of this bloke\n'Cause he hasn't the brains of a pi-ge-on.", "id": 21735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm so glad to be back in the groove!\nWith my microscope, now I can prove,\nWhen the nucleus splits,\nAnaphasic means it's\nToward the spindles that chromosomes move.", "id": 21736, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you've achromatopsy (a glitch\nIn your color perception in which,\nYou may see red and green,\nNot distinguish between)\nYou may, driving, end up in a ditch.", "id": 21737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The sponges are amorphozoics,\nAnd lacking a mouth, they are stoics.\nThey're sessile (don't wander)\nWhich leads me to ponder:\nThey don't get much chance for heroics.", "id": 21738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A friendly young barbet called Maggie\n(A French water dog, kind of scraggy),\nWas stunned when she heard\nBarbet's also a bird\n(Very colorful, not at all shaggy).", "id": 21739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my elbow, I've got calcinosis\nWhere an injury caused a thrombosis.\nThough the lump is unsightly,\nI thank the Lord nightly\u2014\nAt least I don't have halitosis!", "id": 21740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Bar the door of the bar! Use your clout!\nBar them all!\" was the bartender's shout,\n\"When first called to the bar,\nThese young barristers are,\nBar none, apt to puke and pass out!\"", "id": 21741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If an offspring's a hybrid and paired\nWith one parent or other, genes shared,\nIs it incest?  I'd say\nIt could go either way.\n\"It's a backcross,\" the expert declared.", "id": 21742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's a party at which you arrive.\nIf your goal, when it's done, is to strive\nTo return home alive,\nIn no circumstance drive\nWith a BAC more than .05!", "id": 21743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anti-idiotypic: when they\n(Certain ABs) refuse to obey,\nAnd attack other ABs\nLike dogs that have rabies;\nImmunity then goes astray.", "id": 21744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you walk in a garden in June\nOn a sunny and warm afternoon,\nYou may notice a vine\nThat's unique in design;\nEvery flower's a tiny balloon.", "id": 21745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antifeminine fashions advance\nAs designers give up on romance\u2014\nAnd I guess, as we speak,\nIn each trendy boutique\nEvery suit comes with two pair of pants.", "id": 21746, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ammotragus: this creature will creep\nRight into your dreams while you sleep,\nWhere it roams wild and free,\nJust as you'd like to be.\nIt's an aoudad, a Barbary sheep.", "id": 21747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Rick Ricardo was flustered to spy\nMadagascar's famed lemur while high.\nTo the Navy he'd bonded,\nSo when asked he responded,\n\"I eye aye-aye?  I?  Aye!  (Ay-yi-yi!)\"", "id": 21748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The coinage is losing its hair?\nOr we save for a wig (and a spare)?\nNo, it's only a plant\nAnd the baldmoney can't\nHelp its name, which is rather unfair.", "id": 21750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now I'm older, and sometimes I find\nThat I'll enter a room in a bind.\nI forget why I'm there,\nAnd it gives me a scare,\nIf there's nothing that brings it to mind.", "id": 21751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If I look at an ermine or mink,\nAnd decide that between us a link\nLets me know they would vote\nTo become my fur coat,\nIt is just automorphic, I think.", "id": 21752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a hive, where a swarm made some honey\nThat was sticky and splendidly runny,\nA cast settled in\nAnd made honey that's thin\nAnd will fetch only half as much money.", "id": 21753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The fishmonger throws on my dish\nA cast.  It's the number of fish\nThat will fit in his hand\u2014\nThree or four, understand?\n(Or a fish for each finger, I wish.)", "id": 21754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "When Stanley, a winder of cable,\nHas lever in hand, he is able\nTo rotate the capstan.\nWhen taking a nap, Stan\nLets go, and the cable's unstable.", "id": 21755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "My finch looked exceedingly fat\nAs it sat on a mat in my flat,\nAnd this small yellow bird\nFlashed a smile most absurd\u2014\nThe canary had eaten the cat.", "id": 21756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Declaring they're raring to go,\nThen parading along in a row,\nIs a here-a-van, there-a-van,\nWind-in-the-hair-a-van,\nDevil-may-caravan show.", "id": 21757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "From the Upper Jurassic there came\nA reptilian bird by this name:\nArchaeornis, a beast\nWho was toothed for a feast.\nHe was clawed and was quite hard to tame.", "id": 21758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Although Alice was crowned in her dreams \u2014\nLaughed \"coo\" when awhirl an' cried streams,\nI watch a dam shown\nCursed girl here alone.\nEnd Carrollian! I'd show raw, gauche themes.", "id": 21759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh.adler", "limerick": "While guarding all civilized nations,\nOur naval men suffer privations:\nTheir wishes are vetoed,\nAnd when they're torpedoed,\nThey have to assume action stations.", "id": 21760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "This limerick I've purposely penned,\nSo it's not a mistake. I intend\nTo portray catalexis.\nWhat no one expects is\nA syllable dropped at the", "id": 21761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "All around, many pull at each side,\nLaunching one person up for a ride.\nNow the threat of a suit\nMakes that exercise moot\u2014\nThe blanket toss seems to have died.", "id": 21762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "His dislike for his cellmate was hearty.\nWhat to do? Nothing subtle or arty:\nHe jumped him and wrapped him\nIn bedding, then sapped him\u2014\nHe threw him a nice blanket party.", "id": 21763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The spectroscopists didn't expect\nThe anomalous Zeeman effect.\nAll the time they supposed\nThat their theories were closed,\nThere were moments one shouldn't neglect.", "id": 21764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We're hobbling, footsore and lame,\nThrough devices intended to maim:\nWith three spikes on the ground,\nOne points upward, we've found.\n(They're called caltrops.)  We're sorry we came.", "id": 21765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Ungainly she was, from the grange;\nMost dance steps were out of her range.\nBut just turn on the jazz\nAnd she'd tap with pizzazz\u2014\nRazzmatazz with flap, shuffle, ball change!", "id": 21766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Once my tresses were vividly red;\nNow the pigment has totally fled.\n\"Hey, it's Rusty!\" they'd call\nAs I'd strut down the hall.\nSince canities? \"Oh. It's just Fred.\"", "id": 21767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If calvities can't be forestalled\n(As my hair loss is technically called),\nI will bridge the divide\nCombing up from the side.\nNot a soul will suspect that I'm bald.", "id": 21768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When my daughter was gouged by a stick\nI was watching the nurse, feeling sick.\n\"Make it STOP!\" was her plea\u2014\nHow I wished it were me.\nThen I sang, my voice calming but thick.", "id": 21769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Achromotrichia's ravages might\nTurn the hair of its sufferers white.\nYour donations ensure\nThat we will find a cure\u2014\nRid the world of this horrible blight!", "id": 21770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In order to bake us a pie,\nI have twenty-four black birds to buy:\nTwo magpies, six starlings,\nFour rooks for my darlings,\nTwelve crows to be plucked from the sky.", "id": 21771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Since the waiter was hairless: \"Hey, Baldy!\"\nHe came but seemed less than enthralled. He\nBrought coffee, quite hot,\nBut his aim?  It was not!\nAnd I left the place dripping and scaldy.", "id": 21772, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Archizoic, I learned from my teachers,\nRefers to the earliest creatures.\nSome had only one cell,\nBut they did very well\nWith so few anatomical features.", "id": 21773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I applied to enrol ad eundem\nWith credentials so bad that I stunned 'em.\nWhat?  I'm not up to snuff?\nMy B.A.'s not enough?\nI'll convince the top brass to defund 'em!", "id": 21774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I planted a kiss on his belly,\nIts surface was soft, like a jelly.\nIt was covered with hair,\nNeither fragrant nor fair\u2014\nGerman shepherds can be awfully smelly!", "id": 21775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bedlamite's someone psychotic,\nNot \"just a bit odd'\" or neurotic.\nSo control the word tightly\nAnd don't use it lightly\nFor one who's just mean or despotic.", "id": 21776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An exotic-type dancer named Nelly\nCould shake like a bowl filled with jelly.\nShe would gyrate her hips\nWith her customers' tips\nTucked suggestively close to her belly.", "id": 21777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A benchmark, I'd say with due deference,\nIs a point that we use for our reference,\nTo decide how we're doing\n(Are we smiling or ruing?),\nWhile surpassing it would be our preference.", "id": 21778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He who's bellicose spoils for a fight\u2014\nAnd that's whether he's wrong or he's right.\nHe's convinced he can mangle\nAny foe in a tangle\n(But he often will choose someone light).", "id": 21779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Something better's more good than it was,\nGets more value from something it does;\nWhile a bettor is one\nWho makes wagers for fun,\n'Cause it's gambling that gives him a buzz.", "id": 21780, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's a riddle for students you teach:\n\"What is soft to the touch, like a peach,\nColored beige, covers land,\nMostly made out of sand?\"\nAll the kids will respond, \"It's a beach!\"", "id": 21781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As I wake up each morning in bed,\nI consider the world and see red.\nDays go downhill from morning,\nSo I heed my own warning:\nPull the bedclothes back over my head.", "id": 21782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "To the coaches, he never will answer,\nThis last-second contract romancer.\nHe built his own shrine\nTo his birth (July 9);\nIn the clubhouse, he's two kinds of Cancer.", "id": 21784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I heard from a friend in Japan\nWhen his biblical studies began:\n\"I am not libertarian,\nBut antilapsarian,\nDenying that first fall of man.\"", "id": 21785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am aspidate, shaped like a shield,\nA fact that just can't be concealed.\nBuying clothes is a strain,\nAs it gives me real pain\nWhen my buckler-shaped torso's revealed.", "id": 21786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Rowan Atkinson plays Mr. Bean;\nHe's the funniest man on the screen.\nThough he acts like a victim\nWhen someone has kicked him,\nHe's more than a little bit mean.", "id": 21787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bosquet is also a thicket.\nThere I park without getting a ticket.\nWell, of course it's not paved,\nBut just think what I've saved!\nIf the town tries to stop me, I'll picket!", "id": 21788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The acoustic is nerve number eight,\nAnd for hearing and balance, it's great.\nIf it fails, you can't hear,\nAnd may fall on your rear.\nAfter mumps, that is some people's fate.", "id": 21789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His plans were all bootless, a shame.\nThey were useless, in vain (both the same).\nSo he put on some shoes,\nAnd he laid off the booze,\nTo make progress in clearing his name.", "id": 21790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A salad was waiting to toss\nAs I roasted a quail for my boss.\nDeep in butter and flour,\nI expended an hour.\nWhat the hell; b\u00e9chamel is great sauce.", "id": 21791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Only an airhead would post\nA limerick on how to make toast.\nOff a loaf cut one slice,\nBrown in toaster till nice,\nSmear with butter. Delicious? The most!", "id": 21792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "My taste for genetics was kindled\nOn reading that sheep were made brindled\nBy Jacob; that's how, re-\ninflating his dowry,\nHis dad-in-law Laban he swindled.", "id": 21793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In art school you're likely to learn\nOf the use of what's called anti-cerne.\nSpace where canvas shows white\nBetween fields that are bright\nForms a line that no fauvist would spurn.", "id": 21794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Whether Macintosh, Spy, or Delicious,\nAn apple is always nutritious,\nAnd one eaten each day\nKeeps my doctor at bay\n(He's my husband, so that's injudicious).", "id": 21795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "By accessory organs I mean\nThose extras that sometimes are seen.\nWithout asking permission,\nThey're there in addition\u2014\nSurprise!\u2014a spare kidney or spleen.", "id": 21796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Breakbone fever's  a terrible threat\u2014\nA disease let's just hope we don't get.\nWe would lie there and moan\nFrom the pain in the bone;\nIt's a virus we'd live to regret.", "id": 21797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Had a hat with a sun-shading brim,\"\nSaid McKim, as he left on a whim\nTo retrieve what he'd lost\nIn the desert he'd crossed.\nNow they're searching Death Valley for him.", "id": 21798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was there; now I'm gone. What you see\nIs a pale afterimage of me.\nFaint impressions remain\nAt the back of your brain,\nBut by now I'm halfway to Fort Lee.", "id": 21799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Fish called bolti were found in the Nile;\nThey'd be caught and consumed with a smile.\nAncients painted these fishes\nOn platters or dishes\nIn the beautiful New Kingdom style.", "id": 21800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bottleful's all that I've got.\nI admit that it sounds like a lot,\nBut my husband will come\nWhen I open this rum,\nAnd he'll drink it right down like a shot.", "id": 21801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our affair shouldn't cause you anxiety;\nI'll conduct it with perfect propriety,\nBiosocial\u2014and it\nWill be fully legit\u2014\nLove your bio, and crave your society!", "id": 21802, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I need money.  I'm broke and in hock.\nOn a canvas, I painted a clock.\nIt is painted real well,\nAnd I'm sure it will sell,\nSo I'll canvass the folks on my block.", "id": 21803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A medieval professor, at dawn,\nSaw a couple of bears on his lawn.\nKnowing nothing of bears,\nAll alone or in pairs,\nHe cried, \"Harken, ye varlets, begone!\"", "id": 21804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bonito, which comes from the Spanish,\nMeans \"pretty\"\u2014not \"macho\" or \"mannish\".\nMany fish bear this name,\nAnd they're not all the same,\nSo they've really no way to be clannish.", "id": 21805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My uncle got crazier and crazier,\nHis grasp on reality hazier.\nAuntie burst into tears\nWhen he filched her brassieres;\nHe was grilling her bras on a brazier.", "id": 21806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Bolsheviks' color was red.\nTheir revolt, which was brought to a head\nWhen they murdered Czar Nikolas,\nFormed a ridikolas\nState\u2014so the White Russians said.", "id": 21807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm in trouble;  I'll have to confide\nThat I've got achoresis inside,\nAnd my bladder's now small\u2014\nNot much room there at all\u2014\nWhile it used to be spacious and wide.", "id": 21808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Grandpa Jim had a criminal bent.\nGrandpa Joe always owed two years' rent.\nGrandmas Sally and Alice\nRan a cat house in Dallas\u2014\nFrom them my bilateral descent.", "id": 21809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In limerick writing, your meter\nIs anapest.  Would it be neater\nWedding iamb and trochee?\nThat's not okey-dokey!\nUse antispast?  Never, you cheater!", "id": 21810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To prepare maple syrup, he sticks\nA hydrometer into the mix.\nIt uses the Brix scale,\nWhich isn't a trick scale\u2014\nThe sugar is measured in brix.", "id": 21811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An animal act at the fair\nFeatured bears that were covered with hair.\nWhen performing their dance,\nThey wore tutus and pants,\nSo I asked, \"Can't you bear a bear bare?\"", "id": 21812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My feet are so happy, they glow,\nAs they take me wherever I go.\nI massage them with aloe,\nDeep down, and not shallow\u2014\nThe soles, and the heels, and each toe.", "id": 21813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Fine furniture is, as a rule,\nMade by hand with a carpenter's tool.\nWhen it's inlaid with shell,\nAnd with metal as well,\nWe refer to the inlay as boulle.", "id": 21814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acquacotta's the name of a soup.\nWant the recipe? Here's the real scoop\nPassed from mother to daughter:\nCook veggies in water,\nPour on bread and add cheese.  Serves a troop!", "id": 21815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the past, I had never before\nJoined a gaggle before a side door,\nLike a starstruck and loopy\nBut reverent groupie,\nFor a chance to shake hands with Al Gore.", "id": 21816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiperistalsis? Oh my!\nYour gut's moving backward.  Don't cry!\nUse the loo; there's the door.\nPlease don't barf on the floor.\nThough it's painful, I'm sure you won't die.", "id": 21817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He's a famed architectural critic,\nAnd his comments are often acidic.\nHe says sandstone's the worst,\nSo expect to be cursed\nIf your building is arenilitic.", "id": 21818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"What the hell is that stuff called BN\u2014\nSomething borin' outside of my ken?\"\n\"It's not borin', you moron,\nIt's a nitride of boron,\nI've told you again and again!\"", "id": 21819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"So this panda walks into a bar\"\nBegins an old joke I won't mar\nBy giving the punchline,\nAlthough a whole bunch whine\nThat they haven't heard it thus far.", "id": 21820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With sodium barbital, we\nMay sedate ourselves after a spree.\nIf we're anxious or weepy,\nIt makes us feel sleepy;\nC8H12N2O3.", "id": 21821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and waterrocks", "limerick": "In Peru, I saw twelve campesinos \u2014\nTwelve farmers \u2014 on twelve palominos.\nThey showed me the yield\nOf their capsicum field,\nAnd they each tossed me twelve jalapenos.", "id": 21822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's a spa and resort in South Britain\nWhere ladies can chat while they're knittin'.\nBut it's also a tub\nWhere you sit while you scrub,\nAnd where knittin' while sittin' ain't fittin'.", "id": 21823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Since curbing your canine's been writ\nInto law, fully passed and legit,\nDog walkers, those troopers,\nHave used pooper-scoopers.\nThe results are quite stunning!  No fooling!", "id": 21824, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Fans of Sousa this term may abhor so.\nYet lovers of Brahms all adore so\nThis direction: \"to play\nIn a soft, loving way,\"\nLike a mom with her babe, only more so.", "id": 21825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was largely an unCivil War\nAnd Andersonville proved this and more.\nA Confederate prison,\nIt since then has risen\nAs a place for war buffs to explore.", "id": 21826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Addictive\u2014that's my personality.\nMy obsession defies rationality:\nNot gambling or booze,\nBut the fact that I choose\nTo pursue mere 5-line immortality.", "id": 21828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "They're colonial, sessile, sans backbone\n(Truth to tell, Bryozoa quite lack bone),\nBranched or mossy, most needing\nSalt water, and breeding\nBy bud. (They don't, lacking the knack, bone.)", "id": 21832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I can't wait for the public release\nOf this marvel\u2014will wonders not cease!\nIts inventor's my hero:\nThe great autogyro,\nThat self-making sandwich from Greece!", "id": 21833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a guy from Salinas\nWho fell for a knock-out called Venus.\nShe refused him. He slew\nHer with herbs in a brew:\nAconitum, a poisonous genus.", "id": 21834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I answer the phone, there's a panter;\nOn the radio, many a ranter.\nBut a banterer's one\nWho makes jokes and has fun,\nSo I'm partial to people who banter.", "id": 21835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Toward our goal all our energy pushes.\nWe are thoroughly beating the bushes\nAs we search for a star,\nWhich is better by far\nThan a team that just sits on their tushes.", "id": 21836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have fallen in love, and it's chronic.\nMy objectives are way past platonic.\nThe attraction is mighty,\nAnd like Aphrodite,\nI'd say that my flame is Adonic.", "id": 21837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Is it AM-fi-gaw-REE we should say,\nOr am-FI-gaw-ree? Is that okay?\nIs it said am-fi-GAW-ree?\nThey're all hunky-dory;\nIt's nonsense, said any old way.", "id": 21838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In life's game, are you always a player,\nNot a runner, but rather a stayer?\nOne who's honest in deed\nAnd works hard to succeed?\nWho is loyal, and not a betrayer?", "id": 21839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's an obsolete word that I found,\nArmisonant: filled with the sound\nOf the clashing of armor\nAnd swords. It's a charmer.\nToday we have mortars that pound.", "id": 21840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At inspection, the pigs were all fine,\nAnd a clean bill of health given mine,\nBut actinobacillosis,\nWith a fatal prognosis,\nInfected and killed off my swine.", "id": 21841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This brilliant young man would appear\nTo be manic six months of the year.\nWhen enrolling at Berkeley\nHe acted berserkly\nAnd ended up out on his ear.", "id": 21842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This drug's alviducous. It will\nSurely give you the runs; you'll feel ill.\nBut if you have the urge\nAnd you really must purge,\nGo ahead and just swallow this pill.", "id": 21843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He denies any preference, politically,\nBut regards modern living quite critically,\nAnd rejects it as bunk.\nHe's becoming a monk,\nAnd will live out his life anchoritically.", "id": 21844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Nature gave us two eyes that can see\nIn the round, and we call it 3-D.\nWhen you needle me, jocularly,\nThat you like me binocularly,\nI blush at the roundness of me.", "id": 21845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My husband's a first-rate provider,\nStrong as steel, and as soft as an eider.\nBut it terrified me\nWhen I found him to be\nArachnophagous, eating a spider!", "id": 21846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My mother considered me dumb,\nSaid I'd never get out of the slum\nAs a lawyer or doctor.\nIndignant, I socked 'er.\nIt's heavyweight champ I've become.", "id": 21847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am tossing out paper.  I binned\nMany sheets to protect from the wind:\nIOUs from my debtors,\nOld memos, and letters\nThat document how I have sinned.", "id": 21848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Doc, you've tested my testes: no sperm.\nAre my gonads too hot\u2014what's that term?\"\n\"No, it's not hyperthermia\nThat's caused your aspermia\u2014\nYour vasectomy's still holding firm.\"", "id": 21849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Balsam poplar is found in a glade.\nIn its buds, sticky resin is made.\nIt's a tree called the hackmatack,\nAnd sometimes the tacmahack,\nAnd it's planted a lot for its shade.", "id": 21850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With a basketlike hat that was made\nOut of straw, Katie joined the parade.\nHer chapeau made good sense:\nThough the sun was intense,\nBoth her eyes and her face were in shade.", "id": 21851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You say you're too fearful to stand,\nOr to walk without holding my hand?\nAnd that these morbid fears\nHave a name?  I'm all ears!\nBasophobia\u2014ain't English grand?", "id": 21852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A beating reed isn't a whip\nThat a slave driver'd wear on his hip.\nIt's a clarinet reed\nIn an instrument keyed\nTo make music\u2014it vibrates its tip.", "id": 21853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The famed Babylonian whore\nWas a symbol of evil before\nWe had HIV/AIDS\nThat through coitus invades\u2014\nNow the whore is a suspect once more.", "id": 21854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This broadcast of music appears\nTo be stereo (so Amy fears).\nBeing deaf on the left,\nOf the strings she's bereft;\nIt's binaurally meant for both ears.", "id": 21855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antibourgeois: the radical's creed;\n\"From the toils of convention, we need\nLiberation,\" he'll say,\n\"And I'll show you the way.\"\n(Down a path paved with speed, horse, and weed.)", "id": 21856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're building a wall out of sandstone,\nAnd partial to color, demand stone\nOf a beautiful hue, stone\nThat's often called bluestone;\nYou'll find it a handsome and grand stone.", "id": 21857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bimillennium: this is a span\nFor which no human being can plan.\nThink\u2014would someone alive\nIn the year we call five\nHave imagined a modern-day man?", "id": 21858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm in business, at last, with my chum.\nWill you help us by beating the drum?\nTalk us up, recommend\nTo each neighbor and friend:\nTo the  Nom de Blume Room they should come.", "id": 21859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A beggar-tick clings to the fur\nOf your dog when you walk him or her.\nTo your skin it may stick\n(Hence the name beggar-tick).\nIt's a plant called the marigold, burr.", "id": 21860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amplitude's something like girth,\nLike the size of your gut, or the earth.\nAnd like all of my kin\nI am fat and have been\nBrobdingnagian  ever since birth.", "id": 21861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When Deutschland was cut in two parts\nThat were called East and West on our charts,\nKonrad Adenauer best\nRepresented the west,\nAnd \"der Alte\" we took to our hearts.", "id": 21862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blanket flowers cover the valley.\nTheir beauty induced us to dally.\nI'll hate going back\nTo my South Brooklyn shack,\nWhere stinkweed grows tall in the alley.", "id": 21863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As it's processed, take care not to spoil it.\nIt's helpful to add to the soil; it\nIs called biosolid.\nIts origin's squalid:\nThe stuff that we flush down the toilet.", "id": 21864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was costumed as Raggedy Andy,\nClimbed my steps, but he kept mother handy.\nWhen I opened my door\nAnd adored what he wore,\nI bemusedly gave him some candy.", "id": 21865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I admit without any apology\nThat weather affects physiology.\nWhen it's cloudy and rains,\nI feel blue and have pains:\nIt is called biometeorology.", "id": 21866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Carpal tunnel (the syndrome), I feared,\nHad been making my fingers feel weird,\nSo without too much urgin'\nI went to the surgeon.\nHe fixed it\u2014it's now disappeared.", "id": 21867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ammobium, found in the bowers\nDown under, has wonderful powers\nTo please\u2014called the winged\nEverlasting, and ringed\nWith its silvery leaves, golden flowers.", "id": 21868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though good looks are a roll of the dice,\nAdorability comes at a price.\nAll the fellows you meet\nTend to fall at your feet,\nAnd to kick them\u2014it just isn't nice.", "id": 21869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a hunter harpoons them, they thrash a lot.\nThey're so huge, one would think they would crash a lot,\nBut though large, these sperm whales\nSteer quite well with their tails\u2014\nSo it's whaling that threatens the cachalot.", "id": 21870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the blastula's cells keep dividing,\nA gastrula's formed, and it's hiding\nA pouch that is what\nWill become the beast's gut,\nAnd the blastopore, into it guiding.", "id": 21871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Rio, a fellow called Leo\nCourted Cleo, his girlfriend, con brio.\nBut he cost her too much,\nSince they always went Dutch;\nSo she smiled and she bid him addio.", "id": 21872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was small and showed little morphosis\nToward puberty. Doc's diagnosis:\n\"A deficient key gland\nKeeps him infantile, and\nI would label it ateliosis.\"", "id": 21873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Bibliolatry? Worship the Book?\nThat's a little like eating the cook!\nWhat the book might convey\nShows you how you might pray:\nIt's the content to which you should look.", "id": 21874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Female aardvarks are gentiles\u2014they're shiksas;\nThey serve foods that the kosher crowd nixes.\nThey consider it safe\nTo eat all sorts of treif,\nSuch as ants that parade on all sixes.", "id": 21875, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Resurrectionists think it's a quirk\nThat I'd much rather bishop or burke.\nGood cadavers, I've found,\nShould be smothered or drowned;\nDisinterment is such dirty work.", "id": 21876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When musicians from near and afar\nHear my nose, they declare me a star.\nAll my honking and sniffs\nAre congestion-based riffs\u2014\nVirtuoso acoustic catarrh!", "id": 21877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Notching posts to bear structural beams\nIs more difficult work than it seems.\nTo use studs that are light\nAnd extend them full height\nAre balloon framing's principal themes.", "id": 21879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We're up late drinking Pepsi and tea,\nWriting limericks for A, B, and C.\nOur poetic careers\nMay go 13 more years,\nAt which point we may get up to P.", "id": 21880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In Morocco, the food I like most\nIs amlou, when eaten on toast.\nThis honey-nut spread\nI will love 'til I'm dead.\nThis stuff is the boast of my host!", "id": 21881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The \"death card\"\u2014one black, pointy spot\u2014\nIn some card games, the highest you've got.\nThose who dig will attest,\n\"Of my shovels, the best.\"\nAce of spades: what it is; what it's not.", "id": 21882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Did the Celt roots of Welsh sound ebonic\nTo the Roman\u2014whose speech was euphonic\u2014\nAnd old Cornish and Breton? \"Dare\nSpeak like a cretin?\" They're\nBrythonic (or some say Brittonic).", "id": 21883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "My friends fixed me up with this girl.\nWe'd not met, and I feared things would curl\nUp and wither. But wait\u2014\n'Twas a lovely blind date!\nWe think we will give things a whirl.", "id": 21885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We use bondstones when building your wall\nTo add strength, and they're placed so they're all\nLaid with axes right through\nThe wall's thickness, so you\nMay be sure that the wall will not fall.", "id": 21886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I adore the preserves made from boysenberries;\nIt has always been one of my joys in berries.\nMany thanks for the jam.\nIt's homemade? Well, I am\nSure you carefully chucked out the poison berries.", "id": 21887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend has neuritis, and he\nWas advised to take vitamin B.\nHe complained, \"It's confusing.\nWhich B am I choosing\nAs antineuritic for me?\"", "id": 21888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Apriorism: that's how I reason,\nAlthough others may not find it pleasin'.\nI assume, then I act,\nAnd don't care about fact\u2014\nIt sustains me from season to season.", "id": 21889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blotto painting: design made on paper\nAs a jest or a prank or a caper.\nTake some paint (fresh, not old),\nDrop on paper, and fold.\nIt's the squeezing of paint that's the shaper.", "id": 21890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My spouse may be searching for honey\nWhen he sometimes acts bearishly. Funny,\nWhen the stock market does\nI growl bearishly, 'cause\nStocks are down and we're losing our money.", "id": 21891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A  bolo's a kind of machete.\nTo measure its size (gross or petit)\nDon't use a bolometer;\nThat's a thermometer\nReading small changes, but steady.", "id": 21892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anti-Darwinism: this is the line\nTrod by those who maintain that divine\nIntervention's the force\nThat produced us, of course\u2014\nAn intelligent type of design.", "id": 21893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Boston Brahmins are families  still\nLiving on or around Beacon Hill.\nThey're American peerage\nWho didn't come steerage,\nCan send, down the nose, looks that kill,\n\nDon't use cash, but say,  \"Send me a bill,\"\nEat their pasta with lemon and dill,\nOwn a cattle ranch down in Brazil,\nPut a Hahvahd bequest in their will;\nThink  their own genealogies thrill\u2014\nSomeone help me stop writing this swill!", "id": 21894, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A  bookmaker's one who takes bets,\nSo his clients will often have debts.\nIf your books are worn, you\nWant a bookbinder, who\nWill repair single volumes and sets.", "id": 21895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's from one of my favorite plays:\nIn the bosom of Arthur he lays.\nThus Sir John met his death.\nSo declares in one breath\nMistress Quickly\u2014she butchers the phrase.", "id": 21896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend is somebody who\nI often make fun of, it's true,\nIn my limerick writing.\nI find it inviting\nTo share all his foibles; don't you?", "id": 21897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have given up scotch on the rocks,\nAnd I'm drinking the beers they call bocks.\nIn the spring they're beers that\nAre drawn first from the vat;\nThey're delicious and knock off my socks.", "id": 21898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bonesetter's not an M.D.,\nBut sets many a fracture, and he\nCan replace the odd shoulder\nThat's out of its holder.\nBroke a bone? Then it's him you should see.", "id": 21899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have hired a consultant to fix\nMy company's A & P mix,\nAs the way that we sell\nIsn't working too well;\nJust a sign or two mounted on sticks.", "id": 21900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "After lunching on pasta and scallions\nAt a vineyard, with wine by the galleons,\nYou can play bocce ball.\nIt's a game played by all\nOf the wine-growing, friendly Italians.", "id": 21901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The burglar, by using his noodle,\nThought he'd cop lots of loot, lots of boodle.\nWhat he brought to the fence\nWas worth ninety-nine cents,\nAs he hasn't the brains of a strudel.", "id": 21902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Christianity really did well\nIn old Germany, under the spell\nOf Saint Boniface (he\nUses capital B),\nWhile a boniface runs a hotel.", "id": 21903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Do you crave an odd word?  Then try boule.\nIt's a word they don't teach you in school.\nIt's a game the French play,\nA fake gem, and I'd say\nThat for me it's a bread, as a rule.", "id": 21904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was ogling \"mam'selles\" when I spied\nA French bonne. She was giving a ride\nTo some tots in a pram.\nI decided to scram\nWhen \"Who wants to buy children?\" she cried.", "id": 21905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was given a chit as a gift,\nFor some bodywork. Then I was miffed.\nI expected massage\nBut I found a garage,\nAnd they put up my car on a lift!", "id": 21906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In your African travels, if you\nMeet a fellow who wears a bou bou,\nDon't inquire, \"What's beneath?\"\nOr he'll laugh through his teeth\u2014\nThat's a boo-boo, a gaffe\u2014it won't do!", "id": 21907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An aconative person's inert,\nWith no wish to apply or exert\nAny effort whatever.\nI guess one is never\nAthletic enough to get hurt.", "id": 21908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandma was always afraid\nThat her fine reputation would fade\nIf she ever were caught in\nPresenting store-boughten\nLasagna, instead of home-made.", "id": 21909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At a blind tasting, bottles of wine\nAre kept secret, each symbol and sign,\nSo the taster's not able\nTo look at the label.\nOne hopes he can tell it from brine.", "id": 21910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Speaking Greek is no walk in the park;\nWith an asper, the contrast is stark:\nTo turn Ellen of Troy\nInto Helen, my boy,\nUse a backwards apostrophe mark.", "id": 21911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Alas for that old Scottish nanny,\nHiding cash in each nook and each cranny.\nWhen she died, in the end,\nAnd her ghost couldn't spend\nWhat she'd cached, that seemed rather un-canny.", "id": 21912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "ADLs are the things I can do\nFor myself without leaning on you.\nMy activities of\ndaily living, my Love:\nI can shuffle and mumble and chew.", "id": 21913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Ampelography helps to define\nAn ingredient central to wine.\nNot the textures and shapes\nOr the colors of grapes,\nIt's the study, instead, of the vine.", "id": 21914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "After dining on calf that was fatted,\nYour son, with my daughter, tomcatted.\nYou once asked me, \"Fred,\nWhat would make you see red?\"\nWell, I have to admit, maybe that'd.", "id": 21915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Just before the last stock market crash,\nMy best buddy talked nothin' but trash\n'Bout the money he'd make,\nBut turns out he's a fake.\nOne more case of all flash and no cash.", "id": 21916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He went to the lighthouse to sneak in.\nHis plan, in a manner of speakin',\nWas to steal the huge light.\nHe explained, \"That's my right.\nIt's a man's job to bring home the beacon.\"", "id": 21917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Seven diners went into a faint\nAnd a cop wants to file a complaint.\nSays the bossman, Big Lou:\n\"86 the beef stew!\nIts aroma is too much like paint.\"", "id": 21918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This babymoon concept is great!\nAs a family, we get to relate.\nJust my lover and me\nAnd the newborn makes three,\nAnd the rest of the world can just wait.", "id": 21919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My baby book's filled with old news\nOf yours truly. It's sure to amuse.\nWhen I breastfed, I bit,\nAnd my first word was naughty.\nWithout Flopper, I never would snooze.", "id": 21923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a fifty-pound bundle of joy\nThat the harbor would like to employ\nAs a maritime sign.\n'Twas delivered just fine,\nSo congrats, Mr. Smith, it's a buoy!", "id": 21924, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A reviewer of books may embark\nOn a search for a witty remark\nFor a work he adores\nThat is not yet in stores.\nIn the publishing flood, it's an ARC.", "id": 21926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Well, the flattery's hard to ignore.\nAnd the compliments?  Never before\nHas a boyfriend like Bob\nCalled me \"his little knob.\"\n(I am something, he says, to a door.)", "id": 21927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you'd like to maintain your abode\nIn one piece, a report clearly showed\nA skin-piercing regime\nWill avoid built-up steam\nThat could cause baking spuds to explode.", "id": 21928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This overworked friend of mine, Kevin,\nWho's the boss of a 7-Eleven,\nWorks 8 hours each day,\nWeekends off (without pay),\nBut they hassle him 24/7.", "id": 21930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She'd been crying.  I asked what upset her.\n\"I got bit by my friend's Irish setter.\nWe was playin' an' Jake\nBit my hand by mistake.\nMommy kissed it and now it's all better.\"", "id": 21931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Plain American fare can be beaten\nBy fish eggs!  There's just no competin'.\nThey're serving beluga\nIn West Chattanooga\nWhere once only french fries were eaten.", "id": 21932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Great theatre, George Abbott supplied.\nWith Where's Charley? we laughed till we cried.\nFor Damn Yankees we rooted\nWith praise undiluted.\nAt one hundred and seven, he died.", "id": 21933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In a glossary, AA's attraction\nIs its use for affirmative action,\nOr as air attache.\n(Aku Ankka?) Today,\nOf its terms these are only a fraction.", "id": 21934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Selling ice cream's the one thing I know,\nAnd one guideline I learned long ago:\nWhile demand will stay high\nAll through June and July,\nThere's no call when it's twenty below.", "id": 21936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My daughter, the witch (she's artistic),\nEnsconced in a world cabalistic,\nMakes potions and spells\nAnd weird trinkets she sells,\nBut a profit?  We're not optimistic.", "id": 21937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I may someday inherit Ontario\nAnd become a successful Lothario,\nSee this book to its end,\nCall Dave Letterman \"friend,\"\nBut of course that's a best case scenario.", "id": 21938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Agrizoophobia: that's\nWhat you call my aversion to cats\u2014\nNot the sweet little kitties\nOne finds in the cities\u2014\nBut lions that swat us like gnats.", "id": 21941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Articulacy: that is the state\nOf being articulate. Rate\nAll your friends in this way:\nCan they easily say\n\"Articulacy\" seven times straight?", "id": 21942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My ten-month-old daughter won't sleep\nSince we've started the game of bopeep.\nAlso called peekaboo,\nIt's a game played by two;\nWhen I quit, she commences to weep.", "id": 21943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Once a witch who emerged from her tomb\nTried to fly in the sky, through the gloom,\nBut the fog proved a glitch;\nShe was pitched in a ditch\nWhen she landed her broom in the brume.", "id": 21944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend can no longer succeed\nWriting guidebooks\u2014a hardship indeed\u2014\nFor while crossing the Gobi, a\nBibliophobia\nStarted, and now he can't read.", "id": 21945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a paper's a broadsheet, it's wide\u2014\nLots of room for the news packed inside.\nThose in tabloid-style formats,\nNo larger than doormats,\nPrint stories the others deride.", "id": 21946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "The boardsailor ran down the beach,\nThen checked both his luff and his leach.\nHe tested the wind,\nAnd said, as he grinned,\n\"You can't catch me when I'm on a reach!\"", "id": 21947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "My backside's protected these days\nFrom parental attack\u2014planning pays!\nI wear pads in my pants\nJust in case my dad plants\nA sharp whack on my butt for my nays.", "id": 21949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When erosion has all wiped away\nThe first soil horizon (that's A),\nAll that's left in the end?\nBC soil, my friend:\nBroken rocks 'neath a layer of clay.", "id": 21951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev and mephistopheles", "limerick": "Look! There is one working now:\nA water ox pulling a plow.\nWhile I'm here in Malaysia\n(A country in Asia),\nI'll ask, \"How now, brown carabao?\"", "id": 21952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "From a chef, a bearnaise is divine\nWhen the tarragon's flavors combine\nWith the butter and yolks.\nBut for commonplace folks\nWho like steak, salt and pepper is fine.", "id": 21953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Some facts on ailanthus to tell:\nTree of heaven we call it as well;\nOnce prized as exotic;\nInvasive, chaotic;\nIts nickname should be tree from Hell.", "id": 21989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though her bitterleaf soup was reviled,\nGramma Strolin just served it and smiled.\n\"These greens are like drugs\n'Gainst intestinal bugs,\nBoth in humans and chimps in the wild.\"", "id": 21990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "If it's actinomorphic by name,\nPerfect symmetry brings it to fame.\nWhen it's split into twos\nAt the angle you choose,\nBoth the halves you have left are the same.", "id": 21991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Caffe latte: just pick up the pot\nOf espresso and pour out one shot.\nTake steamed milk: top it up,\nPresent client with cup.\nSay: \"Your bev'ridge, Sir.\" Charge him a lot!", "id": 21992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "His social skills ain't up to snuff.\nHis grammar and language is rough.\nHe's cranky an' crude.\nHe's abrupt, curt, an' rude.\nBut he's mine, praise the Lord! That's enough.", "id": 21993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Antiquate means \"make look old\"\nSo an item's more easily sold.\nIt's a clever technique,\nMaking things look antique,\nSo beware, as they might be fool's gold.", "id": 21995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm working, it's easily seen\nThat my work suit is uniform green;\nBut there's many a scholar\nWho calls me blue-collar.\nAre they color-blind, daft, or just mean?", "id": 21996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On the stage, her translucent camise,\nLoose and breezy, seemed certain to please;\nBut sans camisole under it,\nIt's surely no wonder it\nWas caught in a censorship freeze.", "id": 21997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The specialist made up his mind\nFrom the symptoms and X-rays combined.\n\"There's a calculus mired\nIn your lung.\" I inquired,\n\"Differential or integral kind?\"", "id": 21998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Baking blindfolded might cause a stink,\nBut blind baking is not what you think.\nYou bake first, if you must,\nEmpty pastry shell crust,\nThen you fill it up, quick as a wink.", "id": 21999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Casaba's a melon\u2014a fruit,\nWhile cassava's a veggie\u2014a root.\nIf I got them confused\nI would not be amused;\nI would lose my repute as astute.", "id": 22000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Is a \"cant dog\" a dog who's a pet\nThat can't dog your next trip to the vet?\nNo. I don't speak of dogging,\nBut tools used in logging\u2014\nThe best kind of hook you can get.", "id": 22001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From a borrow pit (kind of a hole),\nTo gather some landfill, Jack stole\nLots of gravel and sand\nFrom a part of my land\u2014\nNow to make him refill it's my goal.", "id": 22002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Certain words are confusing for me:\nFirst take caramel, sweet as can be;\nThe drug calomel stuns\nAnd can give you the runs,\nAnd a caravel sails on the sea!", "id": 22003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In her carry-cot, Carrie's asleep;\nEyes are closed and her breathing is deep.\nAlthough travel with babies\nI fear more than rabies,\nIn this bed, she's made not a peep.", "id": 22004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though my manner's informal and breezy,\nI detest using words that are easy.\nWhen the pizza-shop guy\nBrings a squashed, messed-up pie,\nI say, \"Caseous, man!\" meaning cheesy.", "id": 22005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Getting babes to behave is no trick.\nWant to try? Here's a lesson, real quick:\nIf they're good, give De Beers;\nIf they're bad, slap their rears.\nYes, I call it the \"carat and stick.\"", "id": 22006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Barbina's a pasta. My hunch\nIs you'd like some with meat sauce for lunch\u2014\nNot in tubules\u2014instead,\nIt's a long twisted thread\nThat is curled in a flavorful bunch.", "id": 22007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I can see the world's going to hell\nIn a handbasket, yet when I tell\nAll my neighbors, they say,\n\"There's Cassandra; oy vey!\"\nPitching truth is a very hard sell!", "id": 22008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If I want to continue to thrive\nAs I'm nearing age seventy-five,\nI must give up red meats,\nSugar, salt, and all treats;\nJust on breadstuff I'll have to survive.", "id": 22009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My pal Porgie plays blues on the harp.\nFrom my perch I'm reluctant to carp,\nBut in treble and bass,\nThis sprat loses his place,\nAnd plays flat when he ought to play sharp.", "id": 22010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I found snails, and a cockle, and winkle\nAt the beach, but I learned a new wrinkle\u2014\nCaught a large brittle star,\nSaid, \"Please tell what you are!\"\nAnd the starfish replied, \"Twinkle, twinkle.\"", "id": 22011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his caseload are several guys\nOf the type that most folks would despise.\nWith his Yale education\nHe wins them probation\n(From judges with Yale old school ties).", "id": 22012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now it's Caregivers  Week, and we're hailing\nThe folks who take care of the ailing.\nThey provide loving care\nWith a positive flair\nTo keep invalids' spirits from failing.", "id": 22013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We were late, and we missed the last train,\nSo all night in the station we've lain.\nFor his error, my friend's\nKeen on making amends,\nBut his breast-beating gives me a pain!", "id": 22014, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "More impressive than ever before,\nIn formation they marched cross the floor,\nAnd the troops at the head\nCarried posters that read:\n\"See the world! Join the Army Ant Corps.\"", "id": 22015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All gamblers aspire to win pots\nIn casinos\u2014they take their best shots,\nAnd on sports they bet too.\nIs this anything new?\nIn the Bible, we read, they cast lots!", "id": 22016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he asked for my number last fall,\nI kept waiting; he just didn't call;\nSo he left me alone\nWith a non-ringing phone.\nI was not very happy at all.", "id": 22017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All my friends like antiques. I do too;\nBut I'm awestruck at what my friends do.\nThey'll spend hundreds, I'm told,\nFor two chairs that are old.\nBut they're used, and all mine are brand-new!", "id": 22018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Two cannibals chatting: \"I've seen one\nOf those loud politicians\u2014a mean one!\nEver eat one of those?\"\nWhen he asked, his friend rose\nAnd said, \"Eat one? Good lord! Ever clean one?\"", "id": 22019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Measured lengthwise, I'm not very tall;\nIn a crowd, I'm not noticed at all,\nBut I'm certainly wide\n(If you judge side-to-side);\nMeasured breadthwise, the size of Nepal.", "id": 22020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you've got yourself into a scrape,\nAnd your bumper's bent all out of shape,\nSince your driving was fine\nBefore drinking that wine,\nThere's Catawba to blame (that's the grape).", "id": 22021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In their cottage, a lover named Cheever\nWas kissed off by his consort, a weaver.\nTheir bungalow juts\nO'er the bay, held by struts,\nAnd I ask myself, \"Why cantilever?\"", "id": 22022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My boyfriend's a chef, and he makes\nThe most succulent carpetbag steaks.\nEvery steak has a pouch\nWhere the oysters will crouch\nTill you eat them\u2014what talent it takes!", "id": 22023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandfather Jake struck it rich.\nNow he only wears clothing for which\nHe is carefully fitted,\nAnd none is permitted\nThat hasn't a buttonhole stitch.", "id": 22024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Epidemics can cause the demise\u2014\nCarry off\u2014many kids, gals, and guys.\nHe who finds a quick cure\nWill win fame, and for sure,\nHe will soon carry off quite a prize!", "id": 22025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Are the Caplets a clan? One that kills\nLots of Montagues; does it for thrills\nIn Shakespeare's great play?\nNo, I'm sorry to say,\nThey are coated and oval-shaped pills.", "id": 22026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're thinking of making a splash\nIn a carriage and bonnet with dash,\nJust attend the affair\nWith panache and with flair:\nBoth arrive in and wear a calash.", "id": 22027, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have allergies.  When the air's breezeless,\nI feel very healthy\u2014diseaseless;\nBut when pollen is blowing,\nMy troubles keep growing.\nI'm no longer sneezeless and wheezeless.", "id": 22028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My wife had constructed a bat house.\nI joked, \"For your relatives, that house?\"\nShe cried, \"Don't torment me!\"\nTo the doghouse she sent me.\nI would rather have gone to the cathouse.", "id": 22029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said the vulture, \"I fear folks will mark us\nWhen they see how dead animals spark us\nInto noisy disputes.\nThey'll consider us brutes\nIf we're quibbling while nibbling a carcass.\"", "id": 22030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My beau's occupation? It shocks!\nHe makes coffins for big shots and jocks.\nAll my friends think it grim,\nAnd one hollered to him,\n\"I would not be caught dead in your box!\"", "id": 22031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The catalog comes once a year;\nAround Christmas it tends to appear.\nIt shows marvelous presents,\nBut not for us peasants;\nThe prices are always too dear.", "id": 22032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A capriccio's a prank, or a whim,\nOr a musical piece (not a hymn)\nThat is lively and bright,\nLike the opera that might\nSeem, for Strauss, just a little bit prim.", "id": 22033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My Scottish friend wasn't prepared\nWhen he started his life as a caird.\nAs a traveling tinker,\nHe soon was a drinker;\nI was scared 'cause I cared how he fared.", "id": 22034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The canker sore inside my lip\nReally stings when I eat spicy dip.\nThough I'm just in the mood\nFor some Mexican food,\nIt's a meal I'd do better to skip!", "id": 22035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Danny's dating a sexy brunet\nWho has caused him unending regret.\nShe displayed her anatomy\nAt the Air Force Academy.\nIs a cad who's a gal a cadet?", "id": 22036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I approached her with kindness and flattery\u2014\nThe cat that I bought at the cattery;\nBut each time, I'll admit,\nThat I touched her, she bit.\nShe committed assault\u2014also battery.", "id": 22037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In those stockings, your legs should be seen!\nPatterned hexagons fit for a queen,\nIn the bobbinet weave,\nMake it hard to believe\nThat the fabric was made by machine.", "id": 22038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm aware that your life has been hectic,\nAnd you eat, so you're not anorectic;\nBut I really must state\nThat you keep losing weight.\nSee your doctor\u2014you're looking cachectic.", "id": 22039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Spain, they built castles with care;\nThey say many fine castles are there,\nBut no castle of stone\nCan live up to my own\u2014\nThey're the castles I build in the air.", "id": 22040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I used to play records with ease,\nBoth the seventy-eights and LPs,\nBut the vinyl would scratch,\nAnd the needle would catch\u2014\nGlad that music now comes on CDs.", "id": 22041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My sweater is made of cashmere.\nSuch clothing is precious and dear.\nWhen I wear it to dine,\nI expect a fine wine,\nBut my boyfriend just buys me a beer.", "id": 22042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Fum\u00e9 blanc is a type of white wine\nMade of blanc fum\u00e9 grapes.  It tastes fine.\nThough fum\u00e9 is a word\nThat means \"smoked,\" I have heard,\nI have never found ashes in mine.", "id": 22043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blennophobia? Every time\nYou've a cold, it's much less than sublime,\nAs with each messy sneeze\nYou feel more ill at ease;\nIt's a horror of mucus and slime.", "id": 22044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The story's in front of our noses:\nIn the bulrushes, there she finds Moses,\nAnd will raise him to glory\u2014\nAt least that's her story\u2014\nIt's bullfeathers, so one supposes.", "id": 22045, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I first heard the phrase blue sky laws,\nI admit that the term gave me pause.\nThey're not laws about flying,\nBut the issue and buying\nOf securities\u2014every last clause.", "id": 22046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Rain came down in a forceful cascade,\nAnd it ruined the plans we had made.\nI discovered\u2014make note\u2014\nWhy they call this a float\nWhen the rainstorm assailed our parade.", "id": 22047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I eat one, my abdomen flexes.\nI feel in my deep solar plexus\nA starved barracuda;\nIt's just a Bermuda,\nAn onion that's grown down in Texas.", "id": 22048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Two corvids in combat I saw,\nIn an argument over some straw;\nAnd I heard their loud caws\nAs this pair of young daws\nWere debating the avian law.", "id": 22049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Of the harness we use on the trail,\nWhat's the part underneath the mule's tail,\nOr the rear of a horse?\nIt's the breeching, of course!\n(I thought breaching was done by a whale.)", "id": 22050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Council of Cowhands today\nCame out with its meeting's cahier.\nIt's causing confusions;\nIts major conclusions\nAre Yippee-i-oh and ti-ay!", "id": 22051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I never have seen a black duck.\nI've seen several the color of muck,\nAnd some dark-feathered things\nThat have white on their wings.\nAs for black ones, I'm just out of luck.", "id": 22052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I gave him a breech-loading gun,\nWhat he did was to get up and run\nTo display this antique\nTo his buddies\u2014what cheek!\nThen he shot out the streetlights, for fun.", "id": 22053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As seventies-lover, he longs\nTo revisit and right several wrongs\u2014\nLike when rock bands were blamed\nBy the people who claimed\nBackward messages lurked in their songs.", "id": 22054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said my friend, who is ever the smarty,\nWith a sense of himself that is hearty,\n\"A political cataclysm\nWould spring from my radicalism!\"\n...He joined the Republican Party.", "id": 22055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At election time, Joe knows the ropes;\nIn his mind, all the voters are dopes.\nBogus promises fly,\nSo he'll win, by and by,\nWith his platform, a catchall (he hopes).", "id": 22056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The sound of cartoons fills my room.\nSee how Underdog fights Dr. Doom!\nI see Scooby Doo there\nChasing ghosts on the stair,\nAnd Dick Dastardly blows up! KaBoom!", "id": 22057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Old acquaintances (more than a few,\nAbandoned, like footprints in dew):\nAre they still as they were\nOr like fog, just a blur?\nFond memories, like photos, fade too.", "id": 22058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Cambric tea is the decaf for me:\nIt's 100% caffeine-free.\nFirst, pour water that's hot,\nWave a bag through the pot,\nThen add sugar and milk for weak tea!", "id": 22059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Ann alliteratively smoked seven scrod,\nSince steaming such fish seemed so odd.\nSalmonella spread so,\nThe smoked scrod had to go;\nSauteed salmon instead fed the squad.", "id": 22060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "There are many old towns which are walled,\nAnd 'round Chester and Conway I've crawled;\nBut the grandest is York\n(Though of Berwick some talk).\nBy old burgs (save Berlin), I'm enthralled.", "id": 22061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Sympathetic accelerans nerve,\nIs my heart (and my blood) what you serve?\nOr are you my heart's master,\nGetting blood pumping faster\nWhenever I see a girl's curve?", "id": 22062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Bored with rock? Turn the Page! You should check\nOut the master of strings, pick, and neck.\nThen you won't be so rapt on\nThe sound of E. Clapton\nWhen you hear the guitar of Jeff Beck.", "id": 22063, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Used in cults as a natural dope,\nAmanita muscaria's scope\nOf effects runs from thrilling\nTo (occasionally) killing:\nIs the thrill worth the risk? I'd say \"nope!\"", "id": 22064, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If you feel that your fame's on the ebb,\nLeak some intimate pics to the web,\nAnd in no time at all\nYou'll be belle of the ball\nAnd the talk-of-the-net's cause celebre.", "id": 22065, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "One girl shows more skin over there\nThan elsewhere whole families dare\nTo expose. In Brazil,\nOn the beach, men are still\nJust amazed, and such sights make 'em stare!", "id": 22066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "For abortions, there now is a pill.\nWhat was living becomes very still.\nIt's debated a lot.\nSome pro-choice; some not.\nWe should let babies live and not kill.", "id": 22067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Addison's is a disease\n(Just the thought makes me shake in the knees)\nCausing bronzing of skin\nAnd great weakness within\nWhen adrenal glands fail. (Not me please!)", "id": 22070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Through the desert the caravan ran\u2014\nTwenty camels, a boy, and a man.\nAn oasis they sought,\nFor the sun was too hot,\nAnd for water they just didn't plan.", "id": 22071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Sit-ups do not feel so great,\nAlthough they would help me lose weight.\nAll that bending and stretching\nJust makes me start retching.\nCalisthenics are something I hate!", "id": 22072, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I went to the car wash last week\nTo make my car shiny and sleek.\nThen I learned, with a frown,\nThat the windows were down,\nAnd the seats all got wet. What a leak!", "id": 22073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If you boil a calf's foot and then take\nSome wine and some spice, you can make\nA jelly for meat.\nOr with sugar, so sweet,\nA dessert that you don't have to bake.", "id": 22074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I'm allergic to chocolate. Oh, no!\nBut I love it a whole lot, and so\nWhen I long for a treat\nOf chocolate to eat,\nI choose carob. No diet to blow!", "id": 22075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The calliope tune fills the air\nAt the circus, perhaps, or the fair.\nPipes whistle and scream\nAs they're blowing out steam,\nBut who's playing it? Nobody's there.", "id": 22076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The calico dress my mom had\nWas so pretty it made me feel glad\u2014\nIt had colors so bright\nThe whole room seemed alight,\nAnd the neckline attracted my dad!", "id": 22077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Caracara's a vulture-like bird.\nCapybara's a rodent that's furred.\nOne flies and then wheels,\nOne runs and then squeals,\nBut they both look extremely absurd.", "id": 22078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Logicians who see that you're leaning\nTo \"raising\" will start intervening:\nSuch begging the question\nWill give indigestion\nTo any who know its true meaning.", "id": 22079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I've oft heard it said: love is blind,\nAs the heart wins the day o'er the mind.\nBut to trust in a friend\nWho's untrue in the end\nIs a  blindness best left undefined.", "id": 22080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "The brewer's old wife, Jill De-Vere,\nWas a little too fond of \"good cheer\".\nFull of whisky, she fell\nIn a vat; now she's well\nCask-conditioned (along with the beer).", "id": 22081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The math students made their selection\nAnd Axes to Grind seemed perfection,\nBut the film's form of grinding\nJust led them to finding\nNew sense to the term \"intersexion.\"", "id": 22082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Is my shape callipygian, Dear?\nHave I got a magnificent rear?\"\n\"Just the opposite,  you're\nCacopygian, sure,\nAnd your butt's more misshapen each year.\"", "id": 22083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's an acne that's called keratosa,\nAnd another, medicamentosa\n(The first\u2014horny plugs,\nThe second\u2014from drugs),\nSeen from Boston to West Santa Rosa.", "id": 22084, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Gimmie angels on horseback,\" said she,\nBiddy board, bowl o' red, B & B,\nBlack and white and go break it,\"\nShe added, \"and shake it.\nBlack cow on the side (that's for me).\"", "id": 22086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I am sorry the bathroom's so smelly.\nI was eating Swiss cheese and mint jelly.\nIt was flavorful, quite,\nBut it didn't sit right.\nI was up all night, airing my belly.", "id": 22087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though the spigot says \"Cold,\" you get hot,\nAnd the tub that I \"fixed\" leaks a lot.\nMy unartful dodgery\nToo often is bodgery,\nSince handy with tools I am not.", "id": 22088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and speedysnail", "limerick": "While I'm certain this won't come as news,\nWe have differing meanings for hues.\nIf you're jealous, you're green;\nTurning red's venting spleen;\nAnd the down-in-the-dumps get the blues.", "id": 22090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When All in the Family debuted,\nMany critics thought Archie too rude.\nThey may have been right,\nBut each Saturday night,\nRight in front of our sets we were glued.", "id": 22091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"That's a mountain bike?  Back in my day,\nSomeone riding that thing would say, 'Hey,\nIt's an ATB,' Sonny.\"\n\"Oh, Grampa, you're funny!\nThat term is completely pass\u00e9!\"", "id": 22092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "After stealing my aunt's Stradivarius,\nThe burglar's defense was hilarious!\nHe declared with great poise\nThat his picklocks were toys,\nWhen it's clear that his tools were burglarious.", "id": 22093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abdominal fistulas suck!\nAll my guts are accessible.  Yuck!\nI've a hole 'neath my chest.\nReach right in, be my guest!\nGo shake hands with last evening's roast duck!", "id": 22094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On her wedding night, Anne was dismayed.\nRight outside of her window, we played\nIn our callithump proudly,\nNot ably but loudly,\nA boisterous faux serenade.", "id": 22096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Michelangelo Antonioni\nWas born in the land of spumoni.\nIn his films he takes pains\nTo see honesty reigns.\nIt is clear he's no phony-baloney.", "id": 22097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Is that 007 so hot?\nAs a spy, does he score?  Yeah, a lot!\nMe, I'm 006.\nI'm a flop with the chicks.\nYou would think I'd be suaver.  (I'm not.)", "id": 22098, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Don's a duck and not overly smart.\nHe's a boxer who fights as \"Black Bart.\"\nThough he craves nothing else\nBut huge championship belts,\nHe's a canvasback, doomed from the start.", "id": 22100, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For baking potatoes, what's greater\nThan aluminum foil 'round your tater?\nI'm cooking one now\nIn my microwave.  Wow!\nThat's one hell of a light show creator!", "id": 22101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was clear that our marriage was toast.\nTo a dalliance or two I'd been host.\nMaybe three.  Perhaps four.\nMaybe seven or more.\nOK, fifteen or twenty, at most!", "id": 22103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My role's small (that was clear from the start)\nIn the movie Computers with Heart.\nI'm portraying a one\u2014\nJust one scene and I'm done.\nWithout doubt, this is just a bit part.", "id": 22104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The term autopoiesis is when\nSomething makes itself over again,\nBut the flip side, I guess, is\nCalled allopoiesis,\nAs practiced by factory men.", "id": 22105, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Our minister also holds sway\nIn his vegetable market each day.\nThere he baptized our daughter,\nWith non-holy water;\nIt came from the hose\u2014lettuce spray.", "id": 22106, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The press release only said we\nHad agreed to, in fact, disagree.\nSo no progress was made,\nAnd as hopes of it fade,\nIt all sounds like a cop-out to me.", "id": 22107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "At the top of the furnace, the bell\nWill confine dirty gases and smell\nSo the neighbors don't cough.\nThey are piped and led off;\nOn gas, they are burning like hell.", "id": 22108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The back an' the sides of a swine,\nImmersed in a bucket of brine,\nThen smoked or jes' dried,\nSliced thin an' then fried,\nMakes bacon. Mm-mmm, mighty fine!", "id": 22109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "It's a metal, Ca, you'll agree.\nWith the ion that's called CO3,\nIt makes chalk, and moreover,\nThe White Cliffs of Dover!\nWithout it they'd fall in the sea.", "id": 22110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I asked, \"Are you gonna chain up\nYour new Pomeranian pup?\"\nFor most people of Maine,\nExcess talking's a pain\nSo he simply responded, \"Ayup.\"", "id": 22111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some folks in the sunny Bahamas\nTook to sleeping without their pajamas.\nWith sex as their goal\n(But with no birth control),\nThey are known now as papas and mamas.", "id": 22112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A beacon's a basket of fire\nOn a mast or a building, or higher.\nSuch a glamorous way\nTo send news of the day \u2014\nForget Bell and his \"words down a wire\"!", "id": 22113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Nasty allergies\u2014I've had my fill;\nDoctor gives me a shot and a pill.\nStuffy ears, mouth so dry,\nPounding head, puffy eye;\nIf it only had just been a drill.", "id": 22114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When my firm laid me off, I responded\nBy forging some trades, then absconded.\nI know my ex-bosses\nAren't hurt by the losses:\nThey're blanket fidelity bonded.", "id": 22115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Playing baccarat, Bond shot to fame,\nBeat the Russian spy out of the game,\nTook the banker's whole stash,\nAnd walked off with the cash.\nWill you banco? Perhaps do the same?", "id": 22116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "A girl met a handsome young callant.\nHe was tall, hunky, gorgeous and gallant.\nBefore they were wed,\nHe took her to bed\u2014\nThat lad had a fine eye for talent!", "id": 22117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Every heresy we try to deter.\nIf a nun, for example, should stir\nTheological scandal,\nWe've bell, book and candle\nWith which we'll excommunicate her.", "id": 22118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "When the ad hoc committee last sat,\nThe agenda read, \"Re: This and That.\"\nSo the members called out,\n\"What's it really about?\"\n\"But who cares?\" said the chairman, \"Let's chat.\"", "id": 22120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "This cool babe, though so hard to perturb,\nIf aroused was a whirlwind to curb.\nWhen Jack Nicholson's glance\nMade her ask, \"Wanna dance?\"\nHe just leered and then answered, \"Wrong verb.\"", "id": 22121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Rosy fingerprints crossing the skies\u2014\nFrom Aurora, the Dawn, I surmise\u2014\nMake this day seem too red,\nSo I'll stay in my bed\nWith my coverlet over my eyes.", "id": 22122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "This project to some seems absurd.\nIt's outrageous, or so I have heard.\nIt's bizarre, I agree,\nBut what is plain to me\nIs insane is the apposite word.", "id": 22123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A dung heap is smelly, that's true.\nYou say \"Phew!\" when I take off my shoe.\nLet me be quite emphatic:\nThey're not aromatic\u2014\nFor that, only perfume will do.", "id": 22124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The scatterbrained fill me with dread\nWhen their actions relate to my head.\nA barber who's careless\nMight render me hairless;\nA doctor might render me dead.", "id": 22127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In a taxi, Minnelli and Grey\nRode away from the German cafe\nWith a dancer or three.\nCrooned the supple emcee,\n\"We're divine! What a fine cab array!\"", "id": 22128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Two blackamoors featured in plays\nIn which Shakespeare attempted to raise,\nThrough their color of skin,\nThe exotic within\nAnd the dread that reminder conveys.", "id": 22129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The gossips are brimming with malice;\nThey've heard something's wrong at the palace.\nTrue or false?  They don't care;\nTheir kind never play fair.\nIt's their role to be petty and callous.", "id": 22130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Husseins had a baby, they say,\nWho was ugly as sin\u2014so outr\u00e9\nThat the mortified mom\nTold her husband, \"Saddam,\nNo more children. Let's call it Uday.\"", "id": 22131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a discount antiquities show,\nJust a pound buys a relic, you know.\nTut weighs almost a ton,\nAnd costs more, 'cause it's one\nFor the mummy and two for the tow.", "id": 22132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aristide thinks it's time to move on\nTo a world in which war will be gone.\nHe has won a Nobel;\nNow to arms, it's farewell\u2014\nIn the pact known as Kellogg-Briand.", "id": 22133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Physics groupies are all the time talking\nOf seducing that stud Stephen Hawking.\nTheir constant discussions\nPromote repercussions:\nThey're often arrested for stalking.", "id": 22134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've got 96 cats and according\nTo law and good sense you are boarding\nAn overage where\nThere's inadequate care.\nYou are guilty of animal hoarding.", "id": 22135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's one insult that constantly rankles:\nIt's when people make fun of my ankles!\nEach ankle and calf\nAre quite large.  People laugh\nAs they point and call out, \"He's got cankles!\"", "id": 22137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For you, re your debtor, what's best?\nShould you grant his restructure request?\nOr just grab what he has?\nThat's a judgment known as\nThe best-interest-of-creditors test.", "id": 22138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "What breath control God must have used\nWhen he molded a man, then infused\nThe clay body with space\nWherein life could take place:\nLook, man's breathing!  Now Adam's enthused.\t\t\t", "id": 22139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm deceiving my girlfriend Cecilia.\nI've told her I've got hemophilia.\n\"To the doctor's\" I go\nEvery night.  She can't know\nI'm appearing in Lear as Cordelia.", "id": 22140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Where analogous colors are seen,\nSuch as blue and blue-green and then green,\nThey will all share a hue\n(Which in this case is blue)\nAnd include every shade in between.", "id": 22141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A\u00e7a\u00ed: a most flavorsome berry.\nAnd high in nutrition?  Yes, very!\nIt's dark purple in hue,\nWith more calcium, too,\nThan we're finding in most forms of dairy.", "id": 22142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "My uncle was looking quite sad.\nI asked why and he said that he had\nNot gone walkies today,\nAnd the cat got away.\n(I suspect that he's gone barking mad.)", "id": 22143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Old McDonald's a guy with a farm\nWho thinks consonants cause only harm.\nHe is safe, he supposes,\nWith E's, I's, and O'ses \u2014\nVowel movements will cause no alarm.", "id": 22144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There's a girl with a figure that's boxy;\nWith no curves she's not looking too foxy.\nBut she's got tons of charm,\nAnd a man on each arm.\nThat's a gal who's got plenty of moxie.", "id": 22145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When you always have sex on the brain,\nSextra letters appear.  I'll sexplain:\nUnsexpungable esses\nSexplode from sexcesses;\nSexactly, your mind sexpects strain.", "id": 22146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"What's my calling?\" I thought, in my youth.\nI imagined a dentist or sleuth.\nThough it's both that I'd bandy,\nDetecting's now dandy;\nIt seems I can't handle the tooth.", "id": 22148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You'll find man-eating sleuths, anthropophagi,\nEmploying their gumshoe esophagi.\nTwo cannibal dudes\nAfter mystery foods \u2014\nDo you think that they ate that old Hoffa guy?", "id": 22150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The atmosphere does what it must,\nAnd the weatherman tries to adjust.\nToday, with aplomb,\nHe predicts the air's calm.\n\"That's no windstorm,\" he says, in disgust.", "id": 22151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e is a pudding I'd pick!\nMake some custard; put sugar on thick,\nThen to caramelize,\nUse a grill if you're wise,\nThough a blow torch is fun, and it's quick.", "id": 22152, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Chateau Cardboard?\" he whiningly asks,\nAs he indicates one or two casks.\n\"Cab Sav? Or the white?\nTry the red, it's orright.\nWhat the booze lacks, the plastic taste masks.\"", "id": 22153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The reporters are blasting off queries\nAt the mayor, in rapid-fire series.\nThis is banging away,\nA technique that will pay\nIf \"Hizzonor\" gets angry, or wearies.", "id": 22154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "At the back of the chapel, the beadle\nCould be heard as he started to wheedle\nA blushing young beauty\nFor ushering duty\nWith talk of \"the eye of a needle.\"", "id": 22155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The police made a note in the blotter:\nThey've arrested a slippery otter.\nThe report also says\nHe was wearing a fez;\nThey suspect he's a terrorist plotter.", "id": 22156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Casus belli means \"reason for war.\"\nWe have justification galore:\nThey have weapons (or will)\nThat can injure or kill!\nLet's attack them and even the score.", "id": 22157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "From Louisa May Alcott (the writer):\nHe's a quirky conservative fighter.\nThey're four lovely spies\n(In bikinis, you guys!)\u2014\nLethal Women. The Right just got righter.", "id": 22158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "For baking a Parker House roll\n(Or the partial combustion of coal),\nBeehive ovens in homes\n(Or in foundries) are domes\nThat, for diet (and coke), I extol.", "id": 22159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Eating okra's a matter of pride\u2014\nIn a gumbo or breaded and fried.\nIt's also called bhindi\n(Derived from the Hindi)\nDown south on the opposite side.", "id": 22160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My novel's entitled Antoine;\nIt's a typical bildungsroman\nAll about a young duck\nWho encounters bad luck\nAnd matures, thus becoming a swan.", "id": 22161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My editor Randy insisted\nEvery S&M source that existed\nBe shown as a reference.\nI did so, in deference:\nThey're bibliographically listed.", "id": 22162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Blessed Sacrament's used to define\nBoth the eucharist bread and the wine,\nBut it's really the host\nIt refers to the most.\nWhy that is I can't hope to divine.", "id": 22163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "At the bethel (or seafarers' chapel),\nThe pastor's attempting to grapple\nWith congregants' cursing\nBy chapter-and-versing.\nWill scripture win out? No, the crap'll.", "id": 22164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There once was a cowboy from Casper,\nA crusty, well-spoken old jasper,\nWhose skin, he averred\n(With a fifty-cent word\nMeaning \"rough\"), was excessively asper.", "id": 22165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A whelk is a gastropod mollusk\nOf the Buccinum genus, by gollusk,\nAnd its mouth has been put\nAt the end of its foot;\nI, for one, think that's too much to swallusk.", "id": 22166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "We once had a tomcat named Liam,\nAnd goldfish\u2014he sure loved to see 'em!\nAlthough he just purred,\nWe all quickly inferred\nThat his motto was this: carpe diem.", "id": 22167, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My homage to Catalan, bona\nfide language of fair Barcelona:\nSome speak it in Spain\nAnd in France. (See, this plain\nWay of writing's my Orwell persona.)", "id": 22168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "If the basket is where the ball goes,\nThen a basket is what the score shows.\nAnd the basketball name\nIs applied to the game,\nAnd the ball they use too, I suppose.", "id": 22169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A batter in baseball\u2014he may\nBat in a few runs in a play,\nBut the men of the press,\nWhen they're under duress,\nBat out fifteen stories a day.", "id": 22170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Got spurned, so I don't have a date;\nAppropinquated Kate far too late.\nBefore my approach,\nShe fell for her coach.\nNote to self: it does not pay to wait!", "id": 22171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Alfonso, the one they called Wise,\nHired sages to study the skies.\nThose Ptolemy geeks\nPublished tables of tweaks\nTo predict when the planets should rise.", "id": 22172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If with ... stick it's your aim to provoke\nAnd describe something bad with a joke,\nThen take care what you pick\nFor the type of your stick\u2014\nWhen in Britain, it's dirty we poke.", "id": 22173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "When at work, if your head starts to ache,\nAnd the pain you can not seem to shake,\nYou don't have to go far;\nHead on down to H.R.\nThere are aspirants there you can take.", "id": 22174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "What instructs vegetation to shed\nDried-up fruit and old leaves when they're dead?\nIt's some hormone, abscisin,\nThat makes these go missin'.\nMaybe that's why my hair's left my head!", "id": 22175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I hear fishwives, by nature, will carp:\nThey complain and they nag and they harp;\nAnd their husbands (the fish),\nThough long-suffering, wish\nThat the tongues of their wives were less sharp.", "id": 22176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Clearing saplings and brush from your land,\nAgricultural folks understand,\nIs to bushhog your field,\nBut its roots are concealed\nBy a famous machinery brand.", "id": 22177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "They wandered around the scrub brush\u2014\nMany years they continued. No rush.\nWhen the time came to rest,\nThey thought it was best\nTo stop there at Alush and hush.", "id": 22178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A diver in scuba gear saw\nA nasty eel open its jaw\nTo bite his signora,\nBut she parried.  Thus, Flora\n(His amore) v. moray: a draw.", "id": 22179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bangladesh: frequent cyclones and drought\nAre two reasons folks there go without.\nFloods ravage the rice,\nAnd corruption and vice\nScare most tourists away from that route.", "id": 22180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Black powder's a sainthood-defeater,\nA sin held within a repeater.\nIts white demon breath\nIs an omen of death,\nAnd the sulfur and smoke assault Peter.", "id": 22182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Lots of shots help, but kids, as a rule,\nGet inured to infections at school.\nSo we introduce germs\nBite by bite; on those terms,\nCafeteria food's a great tool.", "id": 22183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Our captain is very cantankerous.\nDistracted, because he was rancorous,\nHe somehow was able\nTo lose the ship's cable,\nWhich means we have nothing to anchor us.", "id": 22184, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The Berber's hair, trimmed at the nape,\nLooked all right, but his beard made him gape:\nSeems the barber he chose\nWhacked out barbarous rows;\n'Twas a shear-wielding Barbary ape.", "id": 22185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The city of Limerick's renown\nIs its comical poetry crown:\nNowhere else has a verse\nAs amusing and terse\nTo its name\u2014there's no haiku-based town.", "id": 22186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "After cocktails, my friend and his floozy\nGot rather obnoxiously boozy.\nThey started to dance\nOn our couch (with no pants!)\nAnd then, naked, defiled our jacuzzi!", "id": 22187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A benefactor constantly  gives\nAway money, like water through sieves,\nAll his life.  Then he dies\nAnd his will's no surprise:\nAfter death, his philanthropy lives.", "id": 22188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A salsa musician named Mario\nBecame a renowned impresario.\nHe is famous worldwide\nWhere Latinos reside,\nSo they call him the \"King of the Barrio.\"", "id": 22189, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'll be dropped BTWside some day.\nI can tell BTW people say,\n\"Your Miss Muffet will steal\nDaily curds for her meal\nYet, quite honestly, still BTW.\"", "id": 22192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The big news hit the club in a flash:\nThe butter-and-egg man's a smash!\nHe's some farmer with dough\nWho seems eager to blow,\nOn high livin', great piles of his cash!", "id": 22193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Raise your hand if you feel that today\nThe head of each nation should say:\n\"Arms control is the place\nWe must meet face to face,\nEre our asses are all blown away.\"", "id": 22194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A rhetorically savvy old Whig,\nIn a speech at a charity gig,\nWill use aenos to flatter\nWith high-sounding patter\nAnd words that are...fancy, and...big.", "id": 22195, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A catenary curve, we explain,\nIs the shape of a uniform chain\nWhen it's hung from its ends:\nThus suspended, it bends\nIn an arc that is slightly arcane.", "id": 22196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My damned barber!  I'd swear that it's true:\nThey'll be listing his name in Who's Who\nAs the stylist from Hell.\nHe's so bad, he'll do well\nWhen he's giving the Devil his \"do\".", "id": 22197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "She's an amorous amateur sleuth\nWho's discovered her lover's untruth.\nNow she's showing the door\nTo her cheating amour,\nSince he's lying, denying, uncouth.", "id": 22198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Paying cash on the barrelhead, Darryl\nBought the enterprise\u2014lock, stock, and barrel.\nNow he's barely begun\nHaving barrels of fun,\nSelling barrels of Darryl's apparel.", "id": 22199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He's the cat who would never demur\nWhen the baby would pull on his fur;\nHe'd alight in her lap,\nSettle down for a nap,\nClose his eyes and contentedly purr.", "id": 22200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Think you've left me, my dear? Well, that's funny;\nWe're so close when I'm watching you, honey.\nAnd our love's meant to be,\nSo to help you to see,\nI have boiled up your daughter's pet bunny!", "id": 22201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I don't mind if you notice I'm stacked;\nJust don't ask, \"Are they silicone-packed?\nDid you grow your own, or\nWere they bought at the store?\"\nNot your biz, as a matter of fact!", "id": 22202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Were you deaf, or ignoring me, mister,\nWhen I said stay away from my sister?\nNow you're gonna get bloody.\n(If ignorance, buddy,\nIs bliss, I'd guess you'd be a blister.)", "id": 22203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Anemocracy (rule by the wind,\nOr by whimsy) might leave us chagrined\nIf defined: it's seen use,\nBut it's rare and abstruse.\n(Forgive me, my friends.  I have sinned.)", "id": 22204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "My inflatable gal (her name's Dee)\nHas a twin who's as ready as she.\nEvery day we've a date,\nAnd this tryst won't be late\n'Cause my carpool's now HOV-3.", "id": 22205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "If she's listing to port in the dock,\nI've got sealant in tubes here in stock.\nJust hold your gun steady,\nAnd pump when you're ready,\nAnd fill all her holes up with caulk.", "id": 22206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Our project's about to unravel;\nSome censure is sure for your cavil.\nThat petty objection\nHas stirred disaffection \u2014\nAnd quick is the chair with his gavel.", "id": 22207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When people are reckoned cartoonish\nTheir appearance is clownish or loonish,\nOr their manner is odd\nAnd proportions of bod\nAre ridiculous, weird or buffoonish.", "id": 22208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "This paneling\u2014brown knotty pine\u2014\nWas too rustic for taste such as mine.\nBut the base coat we painted\nPrimed knots that once tainted\nThe den, and it now looks divine.", "id": 22209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Here's your Hydra play costume\u2014you'll love it!\"\nSaid Mom, but I wanted to shove it.\n\"What's wrong?\" Her lip trembled.\n\"Well, the way it's assembled,\nI just can't make heads or tails of it.\"", "id": 22210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When no rain ever gets your grass wet,\nInstall AstroTurf. Upkeep's no sweat:\nAlways green,  kind of plastic\n(You hated that last tick\nWith Lyme), so you'd like it, I'll bet.", "id": 22211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "While bumping and grinding, my tassel\nFlew off, which was really a  hassle.\nWhen a customer caught it,\nI deadpanned, \"You bought it;\nNow I'm mistress and you, sir, my vassal.\"", "id": 22212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "By-elections are those unroutine,\nWhich are usually held in between\nThe regular races.\nThose running? New faces\nReplacing the dead or unclean.", "id": 22213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "While visiting Kenya one day,\nI saw white cattle egrets at play.\nThey strutted through grasses,\nAte insects in masses,\nAnd gracefully flew far away.", "id": 22214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A carnivorous dinosaur said,\n\"Go away, or I'll bite off your head.\nSee, I love to eat meat\nAnd you're tender and sweet.\nIf you don't run, you soon will be dead!\"", "id": 22215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Adult is the stage of a fly\nDevoted to breeding. That's why\nUntil life turns so fleeting,\nLarval flies pursue eating\nTo ensure enough fuel's in supply.", "id": 22217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When extraneous vowels appear\nIn the midst of the phrases you hear,\nAnaptyxis occurs\nWhen the speaker prefers\nTalking this-a-way. Cryst-a-lly clear?", "id": 22218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If your steed in his course you would alter,\nThen be steadfast in force; do not falter.\nIf your stallion's not fit\nWith a bridle and bit,\nOpt for halting the horse with a halter.", "id": 22219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The tap at the top of our tub\nAlways freezes or scalds as we scrub.\nThough we bathe to relax,\nBrushing soap on our backs,\nWe get soap in our . . . eyes!  There's the rub.", "id": 22220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Saw a bluebottle fly here and there:\nGimcrack shiny, it danced in the air.\nHad 'im cornered for sure\nNear a pile of manure.\n(Gimcrack cornered? But why would I care?)", "id": 22222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She can't stand; she can't walk; there's a bruise\nWhere she fell from a chair.  You may choose:\nIt's astasia-abasia\nOr abasia-astasia.\nSay it this way or that\u2014it's bad news.", "id": 22223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Andrew Carnegie knew that to read\nWas essential for those who would lead\nBetter lives.  To that end,\nMany millions he'd spend\nBuilding libraries meeting that need.", "id": 22224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "As a Kanzler he tried to increase\nMankind's hope that the cold war might cease.\nEastern folks cried like silly:\n\"Willy Brandt! Wir woll'n Willy!\"\u2014\nAnd he won the Nobel Prize for Peace.", "id": 22225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Milk in coffee yields caf\u00e9 au lait\nWhen prepared a particular way:\nScald the milk so it's hot,\nEqual joe from the pot.\nIn New Orleans, serve with a beignet.", "id": 22226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "His delusions just won't go away;\nHe believes he's the King of Bombay.\nBut he lives in a shanty\n'Cause he won't take his anti-\nSchizophrenic prescriptions each day.", "id": 22227, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "\"About-ship, lad!\" the captain kept crying.\n\"Aye, aye skipper!\" his mate kept replying.\nTill the tar at the tiller\nFell iller and iller\u2014\nSo seasick he feared he was dying.", "id": 22228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "As the cannabis smoke filled his head,\nHe discoursed on The Book of the Dead.\nMuch inspired by the joint,\nHe enlarged on each point,\nThen forgot every word he'd just said.", "id": 22229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "True calamity brings far more pain\nThan a bee sting, a bruise or a sprain.\nTwo examples might be\nGetting lost while at sea\nAnd offending Calamity Jane.", "id": 22230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "His muscles could even make muscles,\nThe bloodless, cold strongman of Brussels.\nYet I'm sorry to say\nThat he faded away \u2014\nHis corpuscles could not make corpuscles.", "id": 22233, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "A peeper, extremely impressed\nWhen the minister's daughter undressed\nAnd put on her nightie,\nExclaimed, \"God Almighty,\nThe closer to You, the more blessed.\"", "id": 22234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TheBeanTeam", "limerick": "My cathisophobia's so drear;\nIt's a stark uncontrollable fear.\nWhen I sit anywhere\nI face dread and despair.\nThis distress is a pain in the rear!", "id": 22235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "All the ham-lovers, angry and shaken,\nAre convinced that he must be mistaken:\nActor Kevin decrees\nMore than seven degrees\nDivide him and Canadian bacon.", "id": 22236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Boric acid-dressed lint is boracic \u2014\nAntiseptic 'Elastoplast Classic'.\nWhen physically skint,\nCockneys used b'racic lint;\nNow, financially skint, they use brassic.", "id": 22237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"I don't need a toupee,\" argued Davy,\n\"To make up for lost hair, blond and wavy.\nI have trained, for this duty,\nA golden agouti\nTo sit on my head.  Clever cavy!\"", "id": 22238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "After diving in China's south seas,\nHe showed symptoms of caisson disease.\nToo quickly he went\nUpon his ascent,\nAnd the bends brought that man to his knees.", "id": 22239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The student Prince William, ere regent,\nIn first year, while only a wee gent\nAnd recently fledged,\nHis beak yellow-edged\n(A bec jaune / b\u00e9jaune), was a bejant.", "id": 22241, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Crew, we've run out of salt-preserved brisket.\nEat an albatross?  No one should risk it!\nWhy not tap out the lice\nFrom flat dough that's baked twice\nAnd enjoy a nice slice of ship's biscuit?", "id": 22242, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"The cartilage rings in your spine\nShould cushion your vertebrae fine;\nBut prodding you shows us\nOne annulus fibrosus\nHas, painfully, got out of line.\"", "id": 22243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"What an athlete!\" the commentary starts.\nThough the image that athlete imparts\nIs a lean, limber bod\nWith the grace of a god,\nIt's a twenty-stone bloke playing darts.", "id": 22244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Ancient Rome boasted nobody greater\nThan Julius Caesar, dictator.\nThe czars ruling Russia\nAnd kaisers in Prussia\nWere emperors named for him, later.", "id": 22246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Pus-filled growth on your skin?  Don't recoil \u2014\nWield your lancet like fencer with foil.\nBut your blade should be keen\nAnd your strike should be clean:\nBoil your lance before lancing your boil.", "id": 22247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "It's a diamond, dear \u2014 don't look away.\nI think pear-shaped is just so pass\u00e9.\nAs my buck spends his money\nOn \"cute little Bunny\",\nThis twelve carat carrot's my pay.", "id": 22248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "What a winsome and welcoming waiter!\nThere is no-one I'd rather have cater.\nHe's a man that I'd wish\nTo have handle my dish,\nSo I leave him a note: \"See you later?\"", "id": 22249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "McDonalds owes much, we must own,\nTo the land of the Loire and the Rhone:\nFor Burghers, they say,\nGot their break in Calais,\nAnd the best-known French fry was Saint Joan.", "id": 22250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The casbah's a quarter for Moors,\nA region more rockin' than yours;\nSo for cultural clash,\nPack your cases and dash\nTo Morocco. Here, punk: some brochures.", "id": 22251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "His sculptures, performances, voice,\nWere all heartfelt (and felted, by choice).\nFrom his packs on a sled\nTo the hat on his head,\nThere was nothing plain Joe about Beuys.", "id": 22252, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A. Calder's undoubted facility\nWith works of apparent fragility\nWas one of his strengths:\nHe went to great lengths\nIn his efforts to capture mobility.", "id": 22253, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Canaletto, or \"Little Canal\",\nPainted London\u2014its bridges et al.\u2014\nBut was more of a menace\nTo punters in Venice:\nHe'd paint 'em in any locale.", "id": 22254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a girl from Capri\nWho cut off her pants near the knee,\nBut she did not intend\nTo begin a new trend\u2014\nShe just longed to go wade in the sea.", "id": 22255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Cassatt's finest painting could, say, be\nHer Girl in an Armchair, or maybe\nSome \"Mother and Child\"\nImpressionist-styled\nInterior scene with a baby.", "id": 22256, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "That Hackensack diet doc, Dacking,\nInsists his elixir stops snacking.\nFor funding, he's racking\nHis brains\u2014now he's packing!\nFor Hackensack quack backing's lacking.", "id": 22257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Young Victoria, the maid, feels frustration:\nShe's betrothed to a handsome Croatian;\nBut her dress will be plain,\nAnd she won't have a train,\nWhich I blame on Victoria's station.", "id": 22258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a young lady from Quetta\nWho sped through New York in her Jetta.\nShe said, \"I dislike\nAll these potholes I strike:\nBalochistan's streets are much better.\"", "id": 22259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "This website's deliciously strewn\nWith our verses \u2014 not quite all in tune,\nSo we'll beaver away\nThrough the night and the day,\nAnd they'll all read like dreams pretty soon.", "id": 22260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Caravaggio's shadows and light\nMade his paintings a powerful sight,\nBut the dark in his soul\nSent him out of control:\nHis most powerful urge was to fight.", "id": 22261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A CAT scanner slices and dices\nYour innards\u2014these magic devices\nUse X-rays to see\nYour insides in 3-D\u2014\nWhile a cat scanner's useful for mices.", "id": 22262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A cattleman isn't a cow/\nhuman half-breed, with horns on his brow;\nHe's a person who tends 'em,\nAnd now and then sends 'em\nFor slaughter, to turn into chow.", "id": 22263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "How to handle those cathode-ray tubes:\nPut their phosphorus screens into cubes\nOf plastic or wood,\nThen, aiming real good,\nShoot electrons at vacuous boobs.", "id": 22264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Find your fortune and fame by cartooning!\nDraw a handful of pictures impugning\nSome government hack,\nAnd your witty attack\nWill make women start actually swooning.", "id": 22265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "From the loftiest lodgings of Lhasa\nTo humble abodes in Mombasa\nAnd streets in Seville,\nEvery family will\nNeed a residence, dwelling, or casa.", "id": 22266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Capybaras will capture your heart:\nThey're a capital rodent, and smart.\nIn captivity, they\nLike to caper and play\nWith your carp\u2014hard to keep 'em apart.", "id": 22267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If your mater loves lettuce, don't tease 'er,\n'Cos this romaine salad will please 'er\nBrute cravings with ease.\nAve Parmesan cheese,\nCoddled egg, and some croutons: hail Caesar!", "id": 22268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Global warming, you say? Goodness gracious!\nThat really is rather vexatious.\nFrom smoke when we burn\nOff the trees? Live and learn...\nWho knew forests were so carbonaceous?", "id": 22269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I don't care what you say, Dad, okay?\nI am not going outside to play.\nSure, I like playing games\nWith Jemima and James,\nBut abide by your ruling? No way!", "id": 22270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Carbon fibre is lightweight and strong,\nMade from graphite, by drawing out long\nAnd thin filaments, heated\nAnd otherwise treated,\nThen woven. It's tough as King Kong.", "id": 22271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "This system of teaching the law\nUses cases decided before,\nSo that lawyers-in-training\nFrom prior explaining\nLearn how to make justices snore.", "id": 22272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Oh, ID, as a theory, you're dismal\nWhen describing things post-cataclysmal;\nMessrs. Darwin and Hubble\nCan surely cause trouble\nFor folks with beliefs catechismal.", "id": 22274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My associate, where can he be?\nI'm afraid he reneged on my fee.\nHe was seen on my yacht.\nNow the cops fear he's got\n\"Bathymetrically challenged\" at sea.", "id": 22275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Collecting what's cacodemonic's\nA passion of young Lizzie Connick's.\nHer Aunt, a strict Quaker,\nSobbed, \"Satan will take 'er\u2014\nHe's gotten her hooked on chthonics.\"", "id": 22276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Give it thought and I'm sure you'll agree\nThat our candidates need one more e.\nAre they candid?  No way!\nAll the words that they say\nOnly ever sound candied to me.", "id": 22277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If your secretary isn't resistant\nTo \"working\" while partners are distant,\nIt's certainly vital\nTo grant her a title\nThat's finer: viz., Admin. Assistant.", "id": 22278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's an actor of such extreme campiness!\nAll those double entendres\u2014what scampiness!\nI could slap his wee paws!\nBut I shouldn't, because\nIt's a guaranteed path to foot-stampiness.", "id": 22279, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "On the back of my lot there's a house.\nIt's quite small: barely room for a mouse.\nIn this private casita,\nI keep my chiquita.\n(My spouse doesn't know I'm a louse.)", "id": 22280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The in-crowd from Cassiopeia\nVisit England in spaceships each yeia.\nDo you want to know why?\nIt's the one place nearby\nWhere they still can get decent warm beia.", "id": 22281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"I'm a biblical Beast of mean tricks\nWith a deadline that no one can nix.\nI wish nobody well\nAs I rise up from Hell:\nFor some kicks, I'm en route (666).\"", "id": 22282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Lord, we finally got into Canaan,\nBut we think you should do some explanaan.\nForty years isn't funny:\nWhere's the milk?  Where's the honey?\nWhere's the benefits promised in tranaan?", "id": 22283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Finney\nWho hated to see people skinny,\nWhich I think best explains\nWhy he left his remains\nTo a cannibal tribe in New Guinea.", "id": 22284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Cane sugar is made from the juice\nOf the sugar cane, which can produce\nIts sweet share of the stuff.\n(Photosynthesis buff?\nYou can surely put this to good use.)", "id": 22285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Other signwriters, taken aback\nThat dim Jack will be painting the plaque,\nBecause tails on glyph Q's\nWith their friz (curls) confuse,\nWonder, \"Won't Q-glyph's friz vex dumb Jack?\"", "id": 22286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A foot is most commonly found\nAt the end of each leg of a hound.\nIf by chance one is not\nFound attached to that spot,\nIt will still be quite close to the ground.", "id": 22287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The Bavarian Germans are fine,\nFor their Alpine behaviour's like mine \u2014\nWell, except for the way\nIn emergencies they\nNever phone till they've cried, \"Nein nein nein!\"", "id": 22289, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "They've just tested my brain for IQ,\nSo I'm feeling big-headed. I do\nSound conceited to crow,\nBut I want you to know\nThe results were all negative. Phew!", "id": 22290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Besting bull-butchers, Blossom believes,\nBegins best before blade breath bereaves.\nBecause butcheries ban\nBreathing beef, Bloss began\nBuying bulls before bulls became beeves.", "id": 22291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "For to be to be tickety-boo,\nSay \"I am\" (for \"I is\" is non-U).\nIt is life's shortest sentence,\nAnd risks no repentance\nLike this one, the longest: \"I do.\"", "id": 22292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Abbreviation is such a long word\nThat its function is often transferred\nTo the shorter-by-far\nSpelling ABBR.,\nAnd abbrev., an abbrev. quite absurd.", "id": 22293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Tarzan roared as he soared and swung free\nAfter dumping poor Jane in the tree,\nBut the hollering fellow\nHad reason to bellow:\nHe urgently needed to pee.", "id": 22294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A battery's small. Or it's large.\nIt can power a flashlight. Or barge.\nJust a word of advice:\nNever think folks are nice\nWhen they offer you one free of charge.", "id": 22295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Now eagles and falcons and hawks\nAre Man's deadliest enemy. Talks\nHave been held on our plight\nAnd the actions we might\nTake to stop their attacks on our storks.", "id": 22296, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A Mormon was charged for the practice\nOf winching loud wives up a cactus.\n\"We would,\" bawled the plaintiffs,\n\"Be thorn-punctured 'slaintiffs'\nHad God and our voices not backed us!\"", "id": 22297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's a neighborhood prim and austere\nThat the Lambdas will turn on its ear.\nWatch the mayhem, begun\nBy fraternity fun\nIn the blockbuster film of the year.", "id": 22298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've heard acne decalvans is when\nIn the follicles (mostly of men)\nThere are pustules inflamed\nAnd the scarring is blamed\nFor lost hair that will not grow again.", "id": 22299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Scots have unusual goals\nIn their sporting events, bless their souls.\nHeaving cabers, I'd say,\nIs unique\u2014only they\nThink it's fun tossing telephone poles.", "id": 22300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "His job: auto dentist.  It's true!\nThere's a lot that a dentist can do\nFor a new SUV\nOr an old Grand Marquis\nWhen a hailstorm has lately passed through.", "id": 22301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Akihito's a Japanese fellow\nWho, I'm told, plays a pretty mean cello.\nHe's distinguished, grey-haired,\nAnd it's clear when compared\nTo his dad, he's decidedly mellow.", "id": 22302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The moose head that's out in the hall\nOn the floor should be hung on the wall.\nI'm quite eager to please,\nBut for errands like these,\nWith acratia, I'm no help at all.", "id": 22303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Byrds were a sixties' sensation\nPresenting a hip innovation:\nThey were folk-singing stars\nWith electric guitars,\nDoing Dylan with great dedication.", "id": 22304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Sarge screamed \"AT EASE!\" in my ear.\n\"You can do as you like.  IS THAT CLEAR?!\"\nWhile I'm not at attention,\nI wish I could mention\nI'm never at ease when he's near.", "id": 22305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What's an animal artist?  He gushes\nOver portraits of lions and thrushes\nAnd fish in the sea.\n(Then again, he might be\nJust a chimp who's been given some brushes.)", "id": 22306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a funeral parlor pursuing\nNew customers.  Here's what they're doing:\nThey consider bereavement\nSome sort of achievement.\nTheir slogan: \"We're tops in boo-hooing!\"", "id": 22307, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a boat that is paddled by two,\nMade of birchbark and used by the Sioux.\nOften plain, nondescript,\nIt's quite easily tipped.\nI can't think what they call it.  Canoe?", "id": 22308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "9-1-1?  If you're calling it, I'll\nBet that help will arrive in a while.\n(That's the U. S. of A.;\nIf you're in the U. K.,\n9-9-9 is the number you'd dial.)", "id": 22309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Things have changed now upon the high seas.\nThere are paperwork gods to appease.\nWhen a pirate draws near\nTo board ships, he will hear:\n\"May I see, sir, your boarding pass please?\"", "id": 22310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Rick or Lazlo?  The choice would afflict her\nUntil Bogey was forced to evict her.\nWhen he spoke about love,\nIt was her he spoke of,\nYet they both knew she'd take off with Victor.", "id": 22311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bog hole's a pit of soft mud\nOr of quicksand.  Watch out for 'em, bud.\nIf a toddler or two\nShould sink into one, you\nWill cry out, \"This vacation's a dud!\"", "id": 22312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To a surgeon I'm forced to consign\nMy frail mother of seventy-nine.\n\"Though they call me 'The Butcher,'\nRelax, you can putcher\nSweet mom in my hands.  She'll be fine!\"", "id": 22313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We will see The OEDILF go the distance\nTo define every word in existence.\nLike the word abarthrosis?\nIt means \"diarthrosis.\"\n(I'm glad we could be of assistance.)", "id": 22314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The weather is chilly and damp;\nI run out of oil for the lamp;\nMy fire never ignites;\nEvery bug out there bites.\nSo just how can a drag show be camp?", "id": 22315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The cabbies drove Fiats all day,\nSpeeding here, racing there, the whole way\nIn an eight-car formation.\nAt night, relaxation:\nLiving fast in a small cabaret.", "id": 22316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the stock of your favorite celeb,\nHaving peaked, is beginning to ebb,\nJust remember, dear sister,\nThat fame is a blister\u2014\nA fluid-filled bubble; a bleb.", "id": 22317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I have recently gotten the notion\nTo worship with fervent emotion.\nWith such bhakti, I give a\nFew gifts to Lord Shiva,\nSmall tokens of deepest devotion.", "id": 22318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "I firmly believed every word\nOf the story whose truth you averred,\nSince this verb means \"declare\"\n(Or to \"solemnly swear\")\nThat you'd told me what really occurred.", "id": 22319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Yellow blooms, with your delicate shape,\nYielding oil from your seed, like the grape:\nWhy the name of canola?\nIs it just to console a\nConsumer who's frightened of rape?", "id": 22320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When writing, Philology Pete\nFinds anapaest feet rather neat.\nOne syllable's stressed\n(A long one is best)\nWhich follows two short ones that greet.", "id": 22321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "An advance copy gives you a look\nAt your soon to be published new book.\nShare, in print, with your friend,\nThe beginning and end\u2014\nThat reveals who's the villainous crook.", "id": 22322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I feared scars might leave my face grooved\nWhen my basal cell cancer's removed.\nA quack said, \"Try pesto\nTo cure it.\" I guessed, though,\nNo basil for basal's approved.", "id": 22323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Yuck, it's achor, these scales on my head\u2014\nThey're erupting\u2014disgusting! In dread,\nSince its name's obsolete,\nI fear ointments won't beat\nThis gross scald head, nor stymie its spread.", "id": 22324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Although they addressed Coach as bwana\nRespectfully, why'd Kenyans wanna\nCall him master or boss?\nHe'd just lost at lacrosse\nAt the tournament held here in Ghana.", "id": 22325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Titanic Accessories feel\nThat their marketing's full of appeal,\nBut it fills me with dread\nWhen they measure my head\nAnd say cap-sizing's part of the deal.", "id": 22326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A body coach drawn by four horses\nThat trundled in front of the forces\nWho followed King Harry\nWas carrying Mary,\nWhose mother detested divorces.", "id": 22327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We're sitting on needles and pins\nAt the game as the countdown begins.\nThere's a desperate throw\nWith a second to go:\nIt's the shot at the buzzer that wins!", "id": 22328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the top of the plane is a dome\nThat's transparent and serves as the home\nOf a sky-watching guy\nTracking courses on high.\n(Thus an astrodome's limned in this poem.)", "id": 22329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the ring is a heavyweight stiff\nWho'll be knocked to the mat in a jiff.\nHe's incredibly slow,\nAnd a biff from his foe\nBrings the smelling salts out for a sniff.", "id": 22330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When she steps on my scale, Sister Sadie\nGets angry to hear she's one-eighty.\nShe storms to the door\nWhere she blasts me some more.\n(It's no treat to be weighing a lady.)", "id": 22331, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a youth, I decided to learn\nHow to type, but I couldn't discern\nHow to start a new line,\nTill a teacher of mine\nPut my hand on the carriage return.", "id": 22332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The motif in the background is flowery,\nWith petals arranged to be showery.\nBut the cr\u00e8che and bocage\nAre a total mirage:\nLook in close\u2014it's six drunks in the bowery!", "id": 22334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ebola and anthrax are two\nOf the weapons they're said to pursue.\nBioterrorists may\nBe a danger today,\nBut there's nothing so far but ado.", "id": 22337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We spy on the river below\nAt the enemy guarding the Po.\nTheir fortifications\nAre sandbag creations\u2014\nA bridgehead we're planning to blow.", "id": 22338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bank holds the logs that we've cut\nThat are extra. By busting a gut,\nWe've gone over (not met)\nThe new quota they set.\nDoes this gladden us? Anything but!", "id": 22339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's an entity likely to draw,\nFrom the masses, misgivings and awe.\nBody corporate's the term\nFor a business or firm\nThat can act as a person by law.", "id": 22341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The prez you're exposing will bristle\nTo learn you've gone public; and this'll\nBe certain to end\nYour employment, my friend.\nThat's the blowback from blowing the whistle.", "id": 22342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A ball-hawkin' basketball cat\nLiked to shoot at the drop of a hat.\nIf he scored, then he stayed\nIn the lineup and played.\nIf he threw up an air ball, he sat.", "id": 22344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I'm nuts for a cashew, aren't you?\nIt's a nut that I'd never eschew.\nWhen they're roasted and salted,\nI'll soon have them bolted,\nAnd cache a few more when I'm through.", "id": 22345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "There was an old man named Fidel\nWho increasingly didn't look well.\nSurely Cuban cigars\nAnd those rocket-finned cars\nShould be all that you need to feel swell?", "id": 22346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"Carn Hawthorn! Carn Hodge! Carn the Hawks!\"\nIs the way that a barracker talks;\nWhen the footy-mad fool's\nGot a craving for Rules,\n\"Carn the ref!\" is the last thing he squawks.", "id": 22347, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A carry-oot's barry if you\nWant some batter to go wi' your Bru.\nChip supper or fish,\nAny other is pish.\nThink I'll carry some haddie oot noo.", "id": 22348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The cardigan: elderly coat\nMade of wool from a sheep or a goat.\nDressing lamb up as mutton's\nNot hard\u2014just sew buttons\nOn jumpers. (Designers, take note.)", "id": 22349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"And now, my good sirs, the salon\nCalls us forth: let us hence, whereupon\nWe shall sit with none other\nThan Karen's dear mother...\"\n\"Strewth, mate, you're bungin' it on.\"", "id": 22350, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Californios longed to be free\nOf their Mexican rulers; their plea\nWas for clear independence.\nTheir rancho descendents\nAre now all Americans, s\u00ed.", "id": 22351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Like to watch some mad cows do some harm?\nOr a cockerel that fights like a charm?\nFor a full-on domest-\nic, this tourism's best\u2014\nThey're an agro lot, down on the farm.", "id": 22352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"I'm trisexual,\" quipped the young guy,\n\"If it's sexual, I'll give it a try.\"\n\"That's good,\" laughed the nun,\n\"I'm bisexual, son \u2014\nIf it's sexual, I give it a bye.\"", "id": 22353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I picked out this phrase from the A list\nOf words lacking lims \u2014 an okay list,\nBut without the great fame\nOf a true A-list name\n(That's a star that is far from the palest).", "id": 22354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Prion proteins can cause this neuropathy.\n(Farmers, losing their herds for no proper fee,\nHid this \"mad cow disease\".)\nWritten out, BSE's\nBovine spongiform encephalopathy.", "id": 22355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Agamemnon, come bathe \u2014 leave the slave,\"\nClytemnestra enticed.  \"Have a shave.\"\nBut Aegisthus her lover\n(His \"brother\") broke cover,\nAnd a shave to the neck's what they gave.", "id": 22356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Write a limerick \u2014 one about apathy?\nWell, I'll start...\n...\n...\n...", "id": 22357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "In its tough little acorn-shaped shell\nThis wee barnacle's happy to dwell\nIn the ocean. He's stuck\nTo the rocks, where he'll tuck\nInto plankton, and weather the swell!", "id": 22358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Balibuntal is straw woven fine,\nMade from palms. It looks simply divine\nWhen assembled as hats,\nPurses, handbags and mats:\nIt's a Philippine home-made design.", "id": 22359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Cabin fever can fill you with gloom\nIf you're shut in a small lonely room.\nYou'll be anxious and glum,\nAnd you'll yearn for a chum,\nTo defuse all those feelings of doom.", "id": 22360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "As the crusty old Colonel admitted,\nIt's to cavalry twill he's committed:\nWoollen fabric that's tough,\nSo he chooses the stuff\nWhen his trousers are tailored and fitted.", "id": 22361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "She's a waitress dressed up as a bunny,\nServes your drinks, deals your cards, takes your money;\nPlayboy started the trend,\nNow, thank God, at an end:\nDressing girls up as rabbits ain't funny.", "id": 22362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Roman Horace was minded to say\nThat he thought folks should live for today;\nCarpe diem! he said,\nFor you'll all soon be dead\nAnd may never get grizzled and grey.", "id": 22363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I've heard that a bricklaying builder\nBuilt houses so fast that she filled a\nSmall county with mansions,\nUsed bricks, but no stanchions;\nAlas, all soon crumbled, and killed 'er.", "id": 22364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Underpaid, overworked, heart of gold,\nFood to cook, house to clean, clothes to fold.\nShe's a carer, that's all,\nBut she answers their call.\nLoves her job looking after the old.", "id": 22365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "In the days when the liner was queen\nOf the ocean your choice would have been:\nFirst class travel (preferred),\nTourist (one of the herd),\nOr go cabin class (that's in-between).", "id": 22366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It's quite round, and it's firm, and it's tiny;\nIt protects all our joints that are spiny:\nIt's an annulus (ring)\nAnd fibrosus, a thing\nWhich is tough and protective and shiny.", "id": 22367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The well in our yard has been free\nOf water since 1903.\nWe've used it instead\nTo bury our dead.\nIt's as bone-dry a place as can be.", "id": 22368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "An asthmatic partook of a waffle in\nA diner, which made her sound awful in\nJust seconds!  Her wheezing\nShowed no signs of easing:\nShe'd forgotten to take aminophylline.", "id": 22371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "My new boyfriend's a college sensation,\nBut my father is causing frustration.\nDad married his mother\nAnd made him my brother:\nA relation by Dad's adrogation.", "id": 22372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "My dad's got a lunatic scheme\nFor a Gershwinesque show\u2014it's a scream:\nSeven lutes in the back\nAnd a mermaid who's black\u2014\nHe'll be calling it Porgy and Bream.", "id": 22373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Marseilles would be best  as the place\nFor a first time to test bouillabaisse.\nThat's a soup made of fish,\nAnd this wonderful dish\nSeasons seafood with saffron and grace.", "id": 22374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Tina's call sign will plainly endorse\nHer identity, tapped out in Morse.\nDi di,   dah di di:   Dah,\nDi di,   dah di,   di dah,\nIs the code that will lead her discourse.", "id": 22375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Adult day care is where we send Gramps.\nIt's got wheelchair-accessible ramps.\nHe plays bingo and bridge\nWith a biddy named Midge.\nThey're the elderly game-playing champs!", "id": 22376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The milk cows were playing the rover\nAnd grazed their way deep in the clover.\nBy bloat, some were ended,\nTheir rumens distended\nSo much that the bovines keeled over.", "id": 22377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Last night, I awoke and heard Frank moan\nThat he needed some cash and a bank loan.\nHe had asked at the bank,\nBut the clerk had been frank:\n\"Your account, sir, resembles a lank bone!\"", "id": 22378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A thrifty young temptress from Shoreham\nMade newspaper hotpants, and wore 'em.\nWhen news got around,\nMale admirers soon found\nThat the news seemed no longer to bore 'em.", "id": 22379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Appalled, Doctor Fleisch, cried, \"It's raw!\nI detest seeing blood! I'll withdraw\nIf you show me that gash\nOn your nose, Mister Nash!\"\nThen he fainted, our doctor of law.", "id": 22380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "There's a shark with a head like a hammer.\nHe's known for his prowess as rammer.\nAs butter he's blessed,\nBut as buttest, not best,\n'Cause no fish has superlative grammar.", "id": 22382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Smeath and Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Re: URGENT & FUNNY!!! cc:\nAll@dot.com. Y'all will agree\nIt's too much, and though I\nLOL, why oh why\nWon't you stop sending junk mail to me?", "id": 22383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I don't like when he calls me a dame,\nOr a broad, since that sounds really lame.\nNow, a lady sounds old,\nAnd that, too, leaves me cold.\nBut a babe\u2014well, with that I'm his flame.", "id": 22385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "After's not, in this line, after dafter,\nAnd jokes don't get cracked after laughter.\nIt's a relative place\nIn both time and in space \u2014\nLike a tile that gets placed after rafter.", "id": 22386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't you think it's high time for a smile?\nOr is smiling too much of a trial?\nIf it is, at least smirk,\nFor you must let them work,\nAll those muscles that drain off your bile!", "id": 22387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Good food in the morning will cheer up\nYour family; your problems will clear up.\nThere's sap from the maple,\nA sweet breakfast staple:\nFor pancakes, aceric's the syrup!", "id": 22388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Thought the waiter, \"Now what shall I do?\nIt's too late to push 'baby tooth stew'!\nOther diners suspect\nIt's a fad. I just checked:\nHalf the others are wanting one too.\"", "id": 22389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I heard you've been sleeping around,\nAnd new uses for birdseed, you've found.\nI was told by my barber,\nThe \"Mouth of Ann Arbor.\"\nThis gossip is all over town!", "id": 22391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Won't you give me your body, dear Claire\u2014\nYour firm breasts and your long golden hair!\nPlease give me your nose\nAnd your fingers and toes!\"\nBut she didn't.  She gave me the air.", "id": 22392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I ain't never bin aimin' to hurt you.\nYou know that I'd never desert you.\"\nClem's words were like honey,\nBut Daisy felt funny,\nSo still she hangs onto her virtue.", "id": 22393, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While it's true that our abecedarian\nLibrarian is no libertarian,\nSteady gentle persistence\nHas conquered resistance.\nOur sex life is truly Wagnerian!", "id": 22394, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My arrangements are daring, it's true,\nBut my vision you shan't misconstrue!\nIt's an unfounded myth\nThat my Beethoven's Fifth\nIs for banjo and flute and kazoo!", "id": 22395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Anarchists of America say\nThey'll make government functions pass\u00e9.\nBut what is the scoop\nOn this \"anti-group\" group?\nWhy would people like that bond this way?", "id": 22396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She's a world-famous gold medal skater.\nI asked for a date.  (I'm a waiter.)\nThis caught her off guard,\nBut she bookmarked my card.\nShe's not interested now\u2014maybe later.", "id": 22397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Tony Bennett's a true work of art.\nTake his choices of songs, for a start.\nIn the years before disco,\nHe claimed San Francisco\nWas where he'd lost track of his heart.", "id": 22398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Although some hate a talkative cabby,\nIf he's good I don't mind if he's gabby.\nBut one was so chatty\nWe missed Cincinnati\nAnd wound up at Westminster Abbey.", "id": 22399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Amphisexual people will try\nTo make love with a gal or a guy.\nIs this only a trend?\nSome insist in the end\nWe will all be like this, bi and bi.", "id": 22400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Tell me, where is our shame?  I'm appalled!\nWhen the smallest of breasts are installed\nIn this \"magic\" brassiere,\nThey're pushed up, out to here!\n\"The Abracada-Bra,\" it's called.", "id": 22401, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Fred Astaire said, \"Just guess how it feels\nWhen my dancing with Ginger reveals\nThat though my style is swell,\nShe performs just as well,\nOnly backwards and wearing high heels!\"", "id": 22402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The promoters ecstatically shout,\n\"It's the ultimate match-up, no doubt!\"\nFifteen rounds, blood and gore,\nFight fans screaming for more\u2014\nThese are just what a bout is about.", "id": 22403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You say football's a sport you adore?\nThat's a pass that we've all heard before.\nYour backfield's in motion,\nTo sack you've a notion,\nIt's clear that you're looking to score.", "id": 22404, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As a teen, I was always complaining\nThat my life was so unentertaining.\nI craved parties instead.\n\"Join the service,\" they said.\n\"Right away you will get bacchic training.\"", "id": 22405, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With bob skates, I give this advice:\nThough your kids will still fall once or twice,\nOn each skate double blades\nServe as balancing aids.\nTry these \"training wheels\" made for the ice.", "id": 22406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Aholehole are not that religious.\nWith church groups, they're not that prestigious.\nThey're a silvery fish\nThat some say are delish.\nYou can find them in schools quite prodigious.", "id": 22407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I dream I'm a pink praying mantis,\nAtlantean, just like my aunt is.\nNo, not brawny, like Atlas,\nWith a gut that is fatless\u2014\nI'm living in downtown Atlantis.\"", "id": 22408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Clearly Jeremy Bentham believed\nThat his death wasn't meant to be grieved.\nNow his family and friends\nHave all come to their ends,\nStrange to say, he's \"outlived\" the bereaved.", "id": 22409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Daily exercise, Doctor, I'm told\nHas a value far greater than gold.\"\n\"Yes, that's true, and your mind?\nDo not leave that behind.\nActive aging\u2014you'll never grow old!\"", "id": 22410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I served left-handed pitcher Jim Kaat\nA liqueur that is called advocaat.\nIt's like eggnog.  Some note\nIt might help clear your throat.\nTell me, what do you think about thaat?", "id": 22411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Here's a limerick featuring Jimbo,\nWho stands with his arms set akimbo,\nIn order to clarify\nA point and to verify\nYou don't need the rhyming word bimbo.", "id": 22412, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The war in Iraq, experts think,\nIs a cesspool in which we will sink.\nOur plans, they confess\nAre quite clear: AOS\nOr, in other words, \"all options stink.\"", "id": 22413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Advent calendars?  What are they for?\"\n\"Every morning, I open a door\nFor the present day's sweet.\nEach pre-Christmas treat\nMakes me want to a-door Him the more!\"", "id": 22414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "As a god he was fairer than strong,\nAnd for Aengus you've written a song.\nIf no longer tunes trouble you,\nBy s\u00e9ance, Yeats, W.,\nPlease join us and just croon along.", "id": 22416, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "Any fruit that is acinar has\nMany drupes (tiny acini, Chaz.)\nThough the genus will vary,\nIt's always a berry:\nNot Chuck.  Maybe mul-, maybe rasp-.", "id": 22417, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Though I really don't want to intrude,\nYour bdelygmia (hatred of food)\nIs a shame, I must say,\nFor you're wasting away\nFrom the meals you've completely eschewed.", "id": 22418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Since I look like a dried-up old prune,\nAnti-wrinkle cream could be a boon.\nWhat to do for the best?\nNip and tuck like the rest?\nI had better decide pretty soon...", "id": 22419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The cathedral at Canterbury's tall\nAnd majestic, the queen of them all.\nOh, how your heart sings\nWhen old Bell Harry rings!\nAnd with luck, you may meet Canon Ball.", "id": 22420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Butyl rubber is stuff we amass\nBy copolymerizing a gas\u2014\nIsobutylene\u2014at\nA low temp in a vat\nWhile some isoprene's added for sass.", "id": 22421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the pen, many prisoners curse;\nTheir despair's making matters much worse.\nBut a few of them might\nCome to poetry night,\nWhere each inmate cites captor and verse.", "id": 22422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "Athabascans are hunters of game.\nTaking reindeer and moose is one aim.\nCatching shellfish and salmon,\nThey never see famine.\nOur junk food just isn't the same.", "id": 22423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Since nine's greater than six, you can say:\n\"9 > 6\". That's the way!\nLess than's quick test will be:\n\"0 < .3\" \u2014\nYes, it's math and you've just got an A!", "id": 22424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Silhouettes in Victoria's reign,\nThanks to bustles, were odd. I'll explain.\nShe would say, the young miss,\n\"Is my bum big in this?\"\nAnd want yes! Will that happen again?", "id": 22425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mayra", "limerick": "My enemy wielded a blade;\nAll the same, I remained unafraid.\nIt's not hard to escape\nThe acuminate shape\nOf a leaf\u2014for I have a grenade.", "id": 22426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "The anarchists went to the mall\nAnd they smashed up some glass, broke a wall.\nAnticorporate views\nWere all over the news,\nBut political impact was small.", "id": 22427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "On a hot date, this food-loving dude'll\nHave Italian\u2014it's well worth the boodle.\nIt seems pasta enhances\nMy sexual advances:\nMy girl and I eat, then canoodle.", "id": 22428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "If your luggage is carry-on, grand:\nYou can fly with your stuff close at hand.\nIt's not stuck in the hold,\nAnd you won't, uncontrolled,\nCarry on when it's gone when you land.", "id": 22430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "My remote and I live the clich\u00e9:\nI point at the tube, click away.\nBut the surfing I tout\nCould not happen without\nThe right battery type: AAA.", "id": 22431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "However it's cooked, I'm a fan\u2014\nWhether steamed, baked, or fried in a pan.\nWith a thick ratatouille,\nI'm a-gon' gay-rawn-tee\nThat's a fine Cajun sausage, boudan.", "id": 22432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A collector of coins named Giordano\nObserved that in banks now there are no\nMore shillings; and yet\nIt's a \"bob\" that you'll get\nIf you ask for a boliviano.", "id": 22433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I'll warn you now, mon, that you will\nTrip up soon, oh so soon, on the sill\nOf the lab: as a trick\nI have left there my Bic,\nTo trip you, and give you a spill.", "id": 22434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The canny Canadian lynx\nLooks askance at the bobcat and thinks,\n\"We could probably mate,\nBut I'm too overweight,\nSo he'll think I'm a slob, not a minx.\"", "id": 22435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A researcher at Yale, with machines\nAnd assorted statistical means,\nHas confirmed that we guys,\nWhether witless or wise,\nAre affirmed by wee things in our genes.", "id": 22436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Simba's lord of his lions no more,\nBecause Africa's unwritten law\nForces leaders who're tested\nTo go when they're bested.\nSimba left with a half-hearted boar.", "id": 22437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "One deciduous tree is the beech,\nUp to eighty feet tall it will reach,\nWith an edible nut,\nAnd smooth bark you can cut,\nIt is kin to the oak, not the peach.", "id": 22438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you can't pass this quiz, you've got rocks in\nYour head. (Were you injured while boxin'?)\nSo you don't have to cheat,\nHere's the answer, complete:\nHgCl2 is a toxin.", "id": 22439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The honeymoon trip was just right.\nWe drank wine and made love until light.\nThen an afterthought came\u2014\nThat it sure was a shame\nThat my bride wasn't with us that night.", "id": 22440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A philanthropist, Francis X. Smith,\nMade a sizeable gift to B'nai B'rith.\nHis foundation was newish,\nAnd Frank wasn't Jewish;\nA thank you note followed forthwith.", "id": 22441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A damp lawyer defended a thief\nOn a horrible hot humid reef.\nIn the absence of breezes\nOr fans or shade, Jesus,\nHe stuck very well to his brief!", "id": 22442, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"My name's M-m-m M-m-m Mort,\"\nSaid the stutterer cops had just caught.\n\"Ah, we've got us a jester,\"\nObserved the arrester.\n\"We'll book you as 'Mort' just for short.\"", "id": 22443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My driveway looks more like a ditch,\nSo my box blade goes onto the hitch\nOf my tractor to scrape\nThe dirt road into shape:\nRounded top, with a minimal pitch.", "id": 22444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Adaptogen herbs combat stress.\nWith their side effects nil, I would guess\nThat at stores that'll sell 'em,\nYou might want to tell 'em,\n\"Gimme ginseng right now; I'm a mess.\"", "id": 22445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "A beefsteak is gold throughout Texas,\nWhere the cattle can pay for your Lexus,\n'Cause that sweet cut of meat\nIs a world-renowned treat,\nWhich makes Texas a kind of a nexus.", "id": 22446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David and alkahuna", "limerick": "\"You believe you're Bugs Bunny, and hop?\"\nAsked my doctor, a Freudian flop.\n\"Well, I really don't think\nYou have need of a shrink.\nIf you cut out the carrots, you'll stop.\"", "id": 22447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Such a Jew hasn't ever been seen\nSince the songwriter Israel Beilin!\nHe, as Irving Berlin,\nWrote \"White Christmas\" (a win!)\nAnd his Easter song's stuck in my bean.", "id": 22448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Yes, I take this au grand s\u00e9rieux,\nBut it's not how it looks, mon precieux!\nMy affair is all done,\nSo please don't wave that gun\u2014\nOr shoot him and not me\u2014oh, mon Dieu!", "id": 22449, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "His ex yelled, \"You swore you shot blanks!\nYour 'vasectomy didn't take'? Thanks!\nI'm pregnant; you lied\u2014\nWish a condom'd been tried\u2014\nFor deceitfulness, this really ranks.\"", "id": 22450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her students' attempts at blank verse\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\nWere no match for blank minds, and what's worse,\nThe iambic they tried\nProved so tough that they cried,\nSo she steered them toward being more terse.", "id": 22451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The broadcast you heard on art deco,\nOr flamenco as danced by J. Greco\u2014\nSignals all bounced to ground\nOff a satellite round:\nA balloon, and the first one was Echo.", "id": 22452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Why invite us to come to your bash\nIf, when drinking, we have to pay cash?\nThough a cash bar saves you,\nGuests leave earlier; few\nWill bestow pricey gifts on the brash.", "id": 22453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "With the Brix scale, all vintners will test\nWhen the sugar in grapes hits the best\nTime to harvest each type\n(Can't just see when they're ripe);\nWhen they're ready, those grapes should be pressed.", "id": 22454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A ripe pumpkin escaped from its patch\nSeeking pie crust with which it might match\nIts smooth flavor sublime,\nAnd be browned just in time\nFor Thanksgiving dessert made from scratch.", "id": 22455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and alkahuna", "limerick": "It's a book that made history quake,\nShaking working-class sleepers awake.\nDid its author, Karl Marx,\nInto powder throw sparks?\nFair opinion, or reader's mistake?", "id": 22456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Were our lives all just games and long holidays,\nFun would be dreary, and folly days\nAll so darned boring\nWe'd now be exploring\nHow best to make workdays our jolly days.", "id": 22457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "At first the poor ant-slurping aardvark\nWas seen as a bearish old hard 'vark,\nBut his greatness unfurled\nTill he charmed the whole world\nAnd arrived on its A-lists as starred 'vark.", "id": 22458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As our dealership's sick of bad debt,\nRepossession is no idle threat,\nSo we'll help (we are sweet)\nPut you back on your feet\nIf you've not made your car payment yet!", "id": 22459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I guess you might think they were Greek,\nAll the words a few Boonville folks speak.\nTo those bahl codgy kimmies\nAnd blooching weech Jimmies,\nThey're Boontling, a language unique.", "id": 22461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Expect snipverts that aren't proper clipverts,\nLike quipverts and other such flipverts,\nEach advert well aimed\nAt your subconscious, famed\nAs a sucker for blipverts like stripverts.", "id": 22462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Beatles were finally free\nOf each other, but from the debris\nOf the Get Back disaster,\nGot Spector to master\nA postscript that said Let It Be.", "id": 22463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Had you lived in an age before Brie\nAnd Chinese guys with names like Pu Lee,\nYou would still, friend, have heard\nThe word colour referred\nTo as cheese-in-Chinese-sounding blee.", "id": 22464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a burden to carry the load\nOf a final recording. This showed\nThat all sad stories tend\nTo come good in the end,\n'Cause it's one of their best, Abbey Road.\n\u00a0\n\u00a0\n\u00a0\nWith a short hidden track\u2014I'll be blowed!", "id": 22465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "As the Beatles continue to crack,\nPaul produces a plan to Get Back.\nBut the tensions intrude:\nJohn and Yoko pose nude,\nAnd the two of them struggle with smack.", "id": 22466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Hey bulldog, this record's a weenie!\nThe band's contributions are teeny.\nWe've already seen\nOne that has \"Submarine\",\nSo give us more Beatles, you meanie!", "id": 22467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There is much to cause Britons to bellyache,\nFrom rock cakes that aunts like old Nellie bake,\nTo taxes, to terror,\nTo nuclear pile error \u2014\nBut, God, block your ears should their telly break!", "id": 22468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Brian's death burst their glorious bubble,\nYet a double emerged from the rubble.\nThis more-than-alright album,\nThe Beatles, or White Album,\nIn hindsight was asking for trouble.", "id": 22469, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "It's a Magical Mystery Tour\nThat your mother should know about. You're\nQuite a fool if you miss\nHearing music like this,\nWall-to-walrus with lyrics obscure.", "id": 22470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Like those maidens of Classical Crete,\nBuxom Bess was a bit indiscreet.\nWith her blouse rarely closed,\nAs you've guessed, she exposed\nThe bad driving of men on her street.", "id": 22471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A day in the life of a band\nThat's impossibly talented, and\nA response to their peers,\nSgt. Pepper fuelled fears\nThere'd be no other album as grand.", "id": 22472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "For the Beatle fan, this is the test:\nChoose Revolver, or one of the rest?\nHow can anything close\nWith \"Tomorrow Never Knows\"\nAnd be anything less than the best?", "id": 22473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "For the Beatles to stretch themselves, whole\nNew directions were needed. Their goal\nWas to stamp onto plastic\nThe druggy, fantastic\nEffects in their heads: Rubber Soul.", "id": 22474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Captured outlaws, each wearing a noose,\nAre near ready to drop. One breaks loose.\nHis compadres complain\nAs he's dragged back again,\n\"Now the sheriff's real mad at us, Moose!\"", "id": 22475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Only yesterday, John, Ringo, Paul,\nAnd our George stood a hundred feet tall.\nNow they let out a yelp\nAt performances: Help!\nAre the mop-tops beginning to stall?", "id": 22476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Some believe that this album might pale\nBeside earlier ones, but I fail\nTo see anything wrong\nWith a single fab song.\nHoney, don't condemn Beatles For Sale.", "id": 22477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Beatlemania gave them a fright,\nSo a movie recorded their plight.\nThe soundtrack is teeming\nWith cause for the screaming:\nIt's hardly a hard day or night.", "id": 22478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "With the Beatles, you know what you get:\nAn LP that's an excellent bet.\n\"All My Loving\" and \"Money\"\nAre fabulous, honey:\nThe top of the poppermost, yet.", "id": 22479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "If Ben Holders saw beauty in boulders,\nHe'd shrug his artistic young shoulders\nSo as not to provoke\nCrasser viewers to joke,\n\"Beauty's just in the eye of B. Holders!\"", "id": 22480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The savage young Beatles could play\nA whole album of hits in a day.\nPlease Please Me still pleases\nThe lads and their squeezes\nIn Liverpool, oop round are way.", "id": 22481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Boza's not just a Turkish delight\nBut a virus that programmers fight.\nHappy Turks slake their thirst\nBy imbibing the first;\nCrappy jerks write the second for spite.", "id": 22482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You will know, if you own your own dog,\nThat he's easily thrilled and agog.\nThough asleep on your bed,\nJust a nod of your head,\nAnd he'll leap off to bark at a mog.", "id": 22483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Lilting love-songs on forest trails rang\nAs black maidens, in file, sweetly sang.\nEach balanced a red\nEarthen pot on her head\nLest a boomslang struck downward or sprang.", "id": 22485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bob's a beetle grub, small rounded blob,\nCut-off horse's tail, curtsy of snob,\nBobsled, shilling, five pence,\nBoxing's way to dodge dents.\nBob's your uncle! But who's Uncle Bob?", "id": 22486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the gap between meals is too long,\nOr the last meal's digestion is wrong,\nBorborygmi abound\u2014\nThe abdominal sound\nOf my gastrointestinal song.", "id": 22487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Pure silver? No sir, Marshall Dillon;\nThis here coin is a alloy called billon.\nThey claim the wrong blend\nMeans the coinage would bend.\nI don't buy it. Let's do us some killin'.", "id": 22488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A blocked currency won't be entangled\nIn markets: its maker has strangled\nSupply to world trade.\nNot for sale, I'm afraid,\nTill competitive carrots are dangled.", "id": 22489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "White or purple, its heavy head stacks\nOn a stalk; rich nutrition it packs.\nThis is crisp, crunchy cauliflower\nFormed of many a smally flower,\nAnd it ranks with my favorite snacks.", "id": 22490, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "This expression, for most, means \"to die,\"\nBut for cowboys it's different. Here's why:\nWhen a man \"bites the dust\"\nIt's because he has just\nLeft a horse with his boots towards the sky.", "id": 22491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "At an angle, the hunter traversed\nThe veldt. Then a lioness burst\nFrom the grass with great force:\nBoth himself and his course\nCatty-cornered! We all fear the worst.", "id": 22492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman and Snowy Owl", "limerick": "In the age of the glory of Greece,\nIf you're captured for killing your niece,\nYou'll soon see the Archon\nBasileus's mark on\nThe order to jail or release.", "id": 22493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "My friend the photographer scoffed,\n\"Use a camera phone? Don't be so soft!\nThey're a fad, nothing big\"\u2014\nTill at Blondie's last gig\nHe saw tons of them waving aloft.", "id": 22494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The Highlands are heavy with stones\nPiled neatly in mounds, where unknowns\nSometimes lie, sometimes not;\nSometimes wholly forgot.\nAye, this cairned land is riddled with bones.", "id": 22495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The boat train goes trundling to port,\nTaking folks to their island resort,\nBut its vacuum brakes shear,\nAnd the driver can't hear\nSailors cry from the pier, \"All abort!\"", "id": 22496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The captain sets foot from the pod,\nAnd, removing his helmet, says, \"Odd\u2014\nThe air's breathable, yet\nWhat's that smell? I forget...\nOh, ammonia. And... chlorine? Dear G...\"", "id": 22497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Cap'n Processor started to gripe\nAs the bits all processed down the pipe:\n\"He's a modem abuser,\nOur byte-hungry user...\nMore bandwidth! He's just loaded Skype!\"", "id": 22498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When your projects are biogenetic,\nThe critics become energetic:\n\"No experiments using\nOur genes! You're abusing\nYour role!\" (They prefer the synthetic?)", "id": 22499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "All the best-dressed jet-setters were there\nAt the elegant black-tie affair.\nBut then I arrived too,\nIn a flashy debut,\nSince with nothing to wear, I came bare.", "id": 22500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If for all of the marbles you're playing,\nThat's a picturesque manner of saying\nThat the stakes are quite high,\nWin or lose, which is why\nIf you're bluffing, you'd better be praying.", "id": 22501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Apprize means to say, \"Man, that rocks!\"\n'Cause it's posh, like a mink pair of socks,\nBut apprise means \"advise,\"\nOr \"inform,\" or \"put wise.\"\n(Neither one's in a Cracker Jack box.)", "id": 22502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've heard andropause now and again.\nIt's like menopause, only for men.\nThis malaise may arrive\nAround age forty-five\nAnd then last till one hundred and ten.", "id": 22503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An aptonym, Ringo had guessed,\nWas a name where one's job is addressed.\nHad this been the case\nFor the guy he'd replace,\nYou'd have known him as Pete Second-Best.", "id": 22504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I was stabbed through the heart by an ackman\nWhile sailing with actor Gene Hackman.\nThis maritime thug\nThen opined with a shrug:\n\"Hell, you shoulda stayed home and played Pac-Man!\"", "id": 22505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My agathism leads me to feel\nThat the fight (Good v. Evil) is real.\nThough sin thrives, I contend\nGood will win at the end\nOf a long and protracted ordeal.", "id": 22506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Many logophiles scream, shake their fists\nAt AMOOFL.  The question persists:\nPlease appease curiosity\u2014\nWhy coin this monstrosity\nWhen acronym already exists?", "id": 22507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As we speak, there's a rush to create\nSo-called \"Barbie drugs.\"  Scientists state\nThey will give you a tan,\nMake you \"more of a man,\"\nAnd they might even help you lose weight!", "id": 22508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You abstupiate mansions, big cars,\nAnd the finest of Cuban cigars.\nAll these things you esteem,\nThe \"American Dream,\"\nAre the reason you're now behind bars.", "id": 22509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On a cattle drive, often I reaches\nFor airtights, them canned sons-a-beeches.\nI'm a-tellin' you, Marvin,\nThey've kept me from starvin'.\nI'm uncommonly fond of them peaches.", "id": 22510, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With four men in one household, the thing was\nNone knew what a boy-on-boy fling was.\nOf Bonanza, instead,\nMichael Landon once said,\n\"We weren't gay (but were grateful Hop Sing was).\"", "id": 22511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To a mobster's comare you send\nLingerie and a love poem you penned.\nThen you sleep with his bride\nWith your car right outside?\nYou are asking for trouble, my friend!", "id": 22512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Animalia is sculpture of cats\nOr iguanas or horses or rats\nOr flamingos or monkeys\nOr tigers or donkeys\nOr weasels or vampire bats.", "id": 22513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Avengers?  I cannot conceal\nWhy this program, to me, was ideal:\nNot the writing or sets\nOr Cold Warrior threats.\nI refer to, of course, Mrs. Peel!", "id": 22514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "He's a loud Bible-basher and so\nHe might seem Christianity's foe,\nA devout vigilante,\nOf Gospels, an anti-,\nWhen in fact he's decidedly pro-.", "id": 22515, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In response to a joke from Raquel,\nI typed \"Great!\" and then \"AC\" as well.\nIt means \"audible chuckle.\"\nIt's used where some schmuck'll,\nNot thinking, just type \"LOL!!!!\"", "id": 22516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acoustic ecology shows\nThe contact that constantly flows\nBetween us and our sphere\nThat's perceived though the ear\nAs opposed to the eye, tongue, or nose.", "id": 22517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her autopathography sold\nVery well with bulimics, I'm told.\nTitled Gold Medal Puke,\nIt's an angry rebuke\nBy a gymnast just 13 years old.", "id": 22518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "No, Mother, I will not stay quiet!\nI'm proud that I'm on the \"ape diet\":\nNuts and veggies and beans,\nLots of fruit and fresh greens.\nWith the shape that you're in, you should try it!", "id": 22519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A bear jam, a new term for most,\nWill occur when a tourist, engrossed\nBy a Yellowstone bear,\nSlows his car down to stare.\n(It's not something for spreading on toast.)", "id": 22520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The word aspirin is slang for a ball\nPitched so fast it appears to be small.\nA batter's disaster\nWould be a ball faster\nThan light.  You'd not see it at all.", "id": 22521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To the candlestick maker's we hike,\nFor ornate candelabra we like,\nSo each candle can shine\nWhile it sits in a line,\nHolding fast to a socket or spike.", "id": 22522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A computer-based outfit in Nome\nHad lost contact with clients in Rome.\nOn a memo was scrawled:\n\"There's a backhoe day called.\"\nAll the techie types got to go home.", "id": 22523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Only after my posts were withdrawn,\nMy announcement of absence,\" said Shawn,\n\"Was announced, but then I\nHeard so many reply:\n'Welcome back!  Didn't know you were gone.'\"", "id": 22524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Want to make lexicographers laugh?\nTake an immature cow or giraffe,\nOr a whale in the sea,\nThen your leg 'neath the knee\u2014\nThey all go by the same name: a calf.", "id": 22525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mixing nectar and pollen, it's said,\nCan make beebread, a substance that's fed\nJust to immature bees,\nSo for sandwiches, please,\nStick to rye or to whole wheat instead.", "id": 22526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Little Leonard had one harmless fault:\nHe enjoyed pickling bugs (using salt).\nBut one day, in a jar,\nLeonard took things too far\nWhen he pickled an aunt (using malt).", "id": 22527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An unfortunate nudist from Leith\nSadly sat on his furious teeth.\nAlthough, from a denture,\nMen don't deserve censure,\nThey bit off a bit underneath.", "id": 22528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I'm the world's greatest writer, no less \u2014\nOn a par with Will Shakespeare, I guess.\nGee, I'm pleased you agree,\nBut I meant you to see\nBraggadocio's always BS.", "id": 22529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Lighting campfires is not always fun,\nSo we're likely, before they're begun,\nTo have used every match\nIn the box, although (natch)\nWe can burn a whole forest with one.", "id": 22530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The weightlifter's nastiest quirk\nWas betrayed when he dined after work.\nIf a waiter got nervous\nOr gave him bad service,\nHe'd waiter-lift using the jerk.", "id": 22531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Greeting apes, Spanky Crooner, named Fut,\nRides his well-boiled new icicle, but\nWhen he's sewn to his sheet\n(In that strace down the pleat)\nHe starts pouring with rain (smirky mut).", "id": 22532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In Des Moines, I had lunch at the Grange,\nPaid in cash, and then found in my change\nA large coin marked \"CC.\"\nIt's a minter's ID:\nCarson City.  I thought that was strange.", "id": 22533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When Jeanette and I cuddle up snugly\n(I mean real close, like \"bugs-in-a-rugly\"),\nHer unusual dread\nMeans a bag's on my head.\nCacophobia: fear of the ugly.", "id": 22534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A callous young doctor named Lou\nSaid, \"There's good news and bad news, it's true.\nFirst, you're terminal, see?\nIt's a new STD.\nBut they're naming the thing after you!\"", "id": 22535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In my essay, I said the \"mack trucks\"\nAnd the \"saturns\" were all \"uncle buck's.\"\nFor my lowercase use,\nI'm now facing the noose.\nI think capital punishment sucks!", "id": 22536, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Other women I'll never pursue;\nI'm completely devoted to you.\nI don't think that you're fly\n(You're quite loathsome); it's my\nCainophobia\u2014fear of the new.", "id": 22537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's decision time!  No way to stall it.\nI am offered the coin; I eyeball it.\nNow it's flipped in the air.\nHeads or tails?  I despair\nAs the ref turns to me and says, \"Call it!\"", "id": 22538, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Two lessons were learned from the strife\nThat was faced by George Bailey and wife.\nOne: an angel earns wings\nEvery time a bell rings,\nAnd then two: it's a wonderful life.", "id": 22539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Steve Austin's a wrestler, I'm told.\nTo his fans, he's a god to behold,\nBut to me it's disgust\nI am filled with.  It's just\nTV wrestling\u2014it leaves me stone cold.", "id": 22540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mr. Bache loved his monarch, an awful fact\nAnd, during the war, an unlawful act.\nLet his fame now begin:\nHe's the only man in\nThis whole book with the first name Theophylact!", "id": 22541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Vice President Barkley said, \"Then\nThere's the tale about two earnest men:\nOne set out to sea,\nThe other's V.P.,\nAnd neither's been heard from again!\"", "id": 22542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Seven days from the date we were married,\nTo England my wife and I ferried.\nWe'd make love, out of sight,\nOn the boat deck at night.\nThat's the place where the lifeboats are carried.", "id": 22543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "For our wedding, my rich Uncle Davey\n(The one overseas with the Navy)\nTwo weeks ago wrote,\n\"I will send you a boat.\"\nThere it is, on the stove, holding gravy.", "id": 22544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her evening gown, silver and black,\nHas a boat neck.  (She's proud of her rack!)\nRunning shoulder to shoulder,\nIt makes my lust smoulder.\nIt's deep in the front and the back.", "id": 22545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In Basel a conference attending,\nMy keynote on basal cells pending,\nWe head out for a bite\nOf some pizza one night,\nWhen fresh basil the chef's recommending.", "id": 22546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Warren Burger, high man on the Court,\nWas so hungry he had to resort\nTo a burger and fries,\nBut the cook was unwise.\nClaimed the justice, \"You're one pickle short!\"", "id": 22547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "You'll eat bluefin, bonito or 'jack\nOr ahi; they make your lips smack.\nAny tuna you eat\nYou'd consider a treat,\nBut white albacore's my favorite snack.", "id": 22548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The box says, \"Add color to jar\nWith actuator; shake.\" Good so far.\n\"Then apply to your head\nAnd\u2014\"  Oh, no! Creeping dread:\nMy scalp burns and this tone looks bizarre.", "id": 22549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Yes, he's single, but isn't a catch.\nLiving off his rich mom, he's no match\nFor a girl who's ambitious,\nBut if she's avaricious,\nOld Mumsie she'll plan to dispatch.", "id": 22550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "We don't want our cornflakes too meaty\u2014\nWith insects, at least. Our entreaty:\nUse insecticide; fine\nBiowarfare, benign,\nCalls for B. thuringiensis or Bt.", "id": 22551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An American student in AMSA\nHad emailed a friend in APAMSA\nWith a message that read:\n\"Fretful dreams in my bed\nHave transformed me.  I'm now Gregor Samsa!\"", "id": 22552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bypass doors will slide right past each other,\nSince where you have one, there's another.\nIn small homes, they save space,\nLike that minuscule place\nWhere you put (you cheap bastard) your mother.", "id": 22553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Andretti, supressing a smirk'll\nAdmit any lead-footed jerk'll\nEarn fans driving 'round\nAnd around and around\nAnd around and around in a circle.", "id": 22554, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A friend of mine just bought a cabbit.\nIt's a hybrid: part cat and part rabbit.\nHe's an idiot, true,\nSo I told him, \"If you\nSee a jackalope, rush out and grab it!\"", "id": 22555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She said, \"Call me,\" but later I wondered:\nCould it possibly be that I blundered?\nShe struck me as shy\nAnd demure, so then why\nDoes her phone number start with \"900-\"?", "id": 22556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a coffee that bullfighters say\nIs their favorite out Mexico way:\nNot the kind that is black\nLike a bull on attack,\nBut with milk known as cafe ol\u00e9.", "id": 22557, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Adyghe is what's spoken by maids\nOut in Georgia.  Long garlands and braids\nAre the custom as they,\n\"Gussied up,\" as they say,\nGo to cheer Adyghe pride parades.", "id": 22558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Many females, by hook or by crook,\nHave displayed that they had what it took\nTo be boatwomen.  They\nAre fine captains today.\nDid you think they're on board just to cook?", "id": 22559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In his bed are no lovers, no wife.\nHe avoids cutting meat with a knife.\nHe won't surf, drive, or fly,\nBat a ball, or get high,\nAnd through cautiousness leads a dull life.", "id": 22560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Angelina is known to be \"easy.\"\nTake board games.  She loves Strip Parcheesi!\nIf games bore you, I'd say with\nNo doubt those you play with\nAre all insufficiently sleazy.", "id": 22561, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Background printing might seem rather slow,\nBut the printer would like you to know\nThe computer's to blame\nAs it seems that some game\nHas control and it just won't let go.", "id": 22562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The analyst beggar was strange;\nHis routine he'd precisely arrange.\nUsing calculus math\nHe derived the best path\nTo get optimal rates of new change.", "id": 22563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The fire in the rug store left soot\nAnd a burn on the owner's right foot.\nFor his goldfish, the worst:\nShe's no longer immersed.\nThe pet carp's on the carpet, kaput.", "id": 22564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The camouflage helps us to hide\nAs we crawl through the swamp side by side.\nI have mud head to toe,\nBut I'm thankful to know\nEven so there is sod on my guide.", "id": 22565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "It's the crappiest sound for a word \u2014\nEtymology's rooted in \"turd.\"\nThat intestinal rumbling\nOr political grumbling? \u2014\nCacophony's what you just heard.", "id": 22567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Witch's charm, hocus-pocus or spell;\nAdroit mischief, a sham or a shell;\nA trick that deceives,\nOr one's wallet relieves:\nAll these things are called cantrips as well.", "id": 22568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "The calculus, children \u2014 forsooth!\nMathematical shortcut to truth!\nAnd yet I have heard\n(From a dentist) this word\nAs a term for the gunk on a tooth.", "id": 22569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With the sun and the heat in Havana,\nMost Cubans eschew a bandanna\nAnd choose an umbrella.\nThat Manilow fella?\nThe one who can't cope? A cabana.", "id": 22570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "By tomography, maps are computed\nWhen through axial planes, rays are routed.\nCAT scanners display\nIn a 3-D array\nHow each slice of my gut's constituted.", "id": 22571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"In the night I am fearful of ghosts.\nCan you help me?\" I asked the inn's hosts.\n\"You'll be safe in room seven,\nAnd guarded by Heaven\nIn an angel bed (one without posts).\"", "id": 22572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "eris8x6", "limerick": "At the edge of a town there will be\nAn announcement of clubs you may see:\nThere are Rotary, Lion,\nAnd Mason; I'm tryin'\nThe ven'rable B.P.O.E.", "id": 22573, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The school cafetorium's cool.\nIt's my son's favorite place at his school.\nThey eat lunch there\u2014some stew?\nHave assemblies there too.\nHear a speech, eat a peach. But don't drool!", "id": 22574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Your painting just drives me ballistic;\nIt's atrocious, uncouth, atavistic.\nThat's it: I'm revoking\nYour licence! I'm choking\nWith outrage\u2014you call that artistic?", "id": 22575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Wyatt Earp met The Kid on the run.\nSaid Billy, \"Earp, go for your gun!\"\nWyatt backed away gently,\nWhich means, evidently,\nHe lost; but in my book he won.", "id": 22576, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "All my storys, I think, are commpelling,\nBut my literture just isn't seling.\nThe agunts just skoff;\nSo whuts put them off?\nMy cacography \u2014 reeelly bad spelling.", "id": 22577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "To understand tangents I strived.\nIntegration I somehow contrived\nJust to grasp so I'd pass\nThat darn calculus class.\nThen I knew that at last I derived.", "id": 22578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "He averred that we'd quickly be wed\nJust as soon as he took me to bed.\nSo I said to the lad,\n\"Now I see you're a cad!\nYou should be a cadaver instead.\"", "id": 22579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"I can add,\" said my dad, \"so I shan't\nLet you say it's genetic! Don't rant!\nDon't blame me you can't add,\nFor there's three types of lad:\nThose who can, and then those who just can't.\"", "id": 22580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Please respect the bereaved. Though you're late,\nKindly drive through our cemetery gate\nAt a much safer speed,\nSince we don't have much need\nFor dead mourners today. We can wait.", "id": 22581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "A deluded old farmer avows:\nIn the Andes the nuts on the boughs\nAre an udder delight.\nWith no dairies in sight,\nWe get chocolate milk from cacaos.", "id": 22583, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Callicebus medemi is black-handed;\nAn indirect kudo is backhanded.\nWhen you muck a thing up\u2014\nBotch the job, drop your cup\u2014\nMany people will say you are cack-handed.", "id": 22584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "'Twas hopeless, but dogged Black Hawk\nDefended the Fox and the Sauk.\nAt Bad Axe, most fell,\nAnd as history would tell,\nThe \"War\" led to real-estate talk.", "id": 22585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Pere Becquerel studied power release;\nThen the quest passed from father to fils.\nWhen it passed once again,\nIt presented to men\nThe conundrum of nuclear peace.", "id": 22586, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With their paramount motive, to munch,\nHungry catamounts followed a hunch.\nWhen a tourist hiked by\nWith his eyes on the sky,\nHe was tantamount, nearly, to lunch.", "id": 22587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Pumped oxygen ion transition\nExplains a perplexing condition:\nThe bright iridescence\nOf Bowen fluorescence\nIn nebulae known for emission.", "id": 22588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I do canning this time every fall,\nUsing Mason jars furnished by Ball.\nI can peaches and beans,\nAnd pickles and greens,\nAnd preserves! There's enough for us all!", "id": 22589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "A and B both shot C in the eye,\nSo I thought they had caused him to die.\nBut these books say I'm wrong;\nIt's not \"sine qua non\".\nNeither shot caused his death, they imply.", "id": 22590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Archimedes' screw raises up water,\nA device that works just like it oughter.\nBut the punks flunking school\nThink a \"screw\"'s a girl who'll . . .\nWell, those louts better lay off my daughter.", "id": 22591, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My beef with this beefcake at brunch\nIs we're vegans, but I have a hunch\nAll those lats, pecs, and abs\nWill spur grabbing for slabs,\nAnd they'll beef up our diets a bunch.", "id": 22592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "All the wallflowers think that he's snooty,\nBut he won't dance with girls short on beauty.\n\"At cotillion,\" Teach said,\nKeep that up, and you're dead \u2014\nFor such is the call, sir, of duty.\"", "id": 22593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Once married, Herr Bach couldn't bach,\nFor with both wives he loved, soon each match\nTurned out batches of tykes\nWho shared papa's likes;\nFour sons produced music from scratch.", "id": 22594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Privileged A-list celebs nod and smile,\nStrutting down the red carpet. Meanwhile,\nThe B-list crowd works\nFor less swag, fewer perks;\nAt awards shows they're not on the aisle.", "id": 22595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "When Moroccans make amlou, they grind\nRoasted almonds with honey, combined\nWith argan nut oil.\nOne taste, you're disloyal\nTo peanutty spreads, but won't mind.", "id": 22596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "An unemployed barber called Pop\nWas as skilled as the best with a strop.\nBut his problem was chronic \u2014\nHe'd turn catatonic \u2014\nWhile shaving a client he'd", "id": 22597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "At the apex of everything camp,\nLiberace was certainly champ.\nEvery night he'd delight\nBy igniting a bright\nCandelabrum instead of a lamp.", "id": 22598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I recall with some pain my first campout.\nIt had rained, it was cold, it was damp out.\nI woke up, had to pee;\nIt was night, couldn't see\n'Cause the wind blew my kerosene lamp out.", "id": 22599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I would call him a flea-bitten cur,\nOr an imbecile if you'd prefer.\nI would call him a fool\nOr a dolt, as a rule.\n(To his face, of course, mostly it's \"Sir.\")", "id": 22600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I will cancel my membership now,\nSince I really can't understand how\nYou concurred in this sham,\nPut us all in a jam;\nTo your members you broke a clear vow.", "id": 22601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When they found she was not of their station,\nThey suddenly forced cancellation\nOf the wedding they'd planned.\nThey took such a strong stand\nThat their actions caused quite a sensation.", "id": 22602, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Gus Gardiner missed the pink hues\nOf occasional toes he would lose.\nNow the careless young man\nHas concluded, \"One can\nMow a lawn, I suppose, wearing shoes.\"", "id": 22603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A bocardo's an ancient mnemonic\nWhose vowels are used as a tonic\n(Perhaps hypnogogic)\nFor students of logic,\nWhom syllogists view as moronic.", "id": 22604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "On the slopes of the French Pyrenees,\nBob did six spinning backflips with ease,\nBut he sniffed, \"I'm not proud,\"\nTo the chilled, cheering crowd,\n\"Since my jump was propelled by a sneeze.\"", "id": 22605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In South Africa, burglar bars are\nAs essential as wheels on a car.\nEvery window and door\nHas them fitted now, for\nThe South African burglar's a star.", "id": 22606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Anti-natalist trends underrate\nThe importance of mum to the state.\nWhen the fashion's to be\nUnencumbered and free,\nMum is frowned on as quite out of date.", "id": 22607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I speak properly; so did my fah-ther.\nI'll use slang if I must, but I'd rah-ther\nMy language reflect\nMy profound self-respect.\nWhen I do interject, I say, \"Bother!\"", "id": 22608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Our special tonight is beshow.\nIt's a cold-water fish you may know\nAs black cod. It's served grilled,\nTopped with mayonnaise, dilled,\nWith a side of polenta Cousteau.", "id": 22609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "That Untouchable, Eliot Ness,\nHas had little (if any) success\nIntercepting the pot\nUsed by bhangis a lot\nAs they scavenge, to ease their distress.", "id": 22610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Filing down the occasional tooth\nCan restore the appearance of youth\nTo a horse, as you know.\nIt's called bishoping, though,\nIf you don't tell the buyer the truth.", "id": 22611, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the flames disappeared from the moor,\nIts appearance resembled velour,\nAnd the stems of the heath,\nBeing charred underneath,\nWere all birns (and quite sooty, I'm sure).", "id": 22612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "That helmeted Pilgrim, Miles Standish,\nLoved blondes, and he started to blandish\nA lass who was blondish\nOf whom he was fondish.\nHis actions were branded outlandish.", "id": 22613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My new therapist must be from Oz:\nI'm describing my case of the blahs\u2014\nI'm lethargic and glum,\nMy emotions are numb\u2014\nAnd she stares at my sizeable schnozz!", "id": 22614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Your complexion is awful (or blowzy).\nYou're filthy and smelly (or frowzy).\nYou know very well\nThat this cheap muscatel\nIs the reason you're acting so drowsy.", "id": 22615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Berengarians waxed vitriolic\nThat the body and blood are symbolic:\nTheir essence remains\nThat of grapes and of grains\n(Normal blood being nonalcoholic).", "id": 22616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Said a know-nothing Agnoite clod,\n\"How could Christ be both human and God?\nMaybe one didn't know\nOf the other. If so,\nThat is ever-so-slightly less odd.\"", "id": 22617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Angelici belonged to a sect\nThat gave angels excessive respect.\nIs the earth their creation?\nSuch glorification\nIs naughty, said Rome, in effect.", "id": 22618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Basilidians truly abhorred\nIncarnation, a fact underscored\nBy the notion a weenie\nWho came from Cyrene\nHad died in the place of the Lord.", "id": 22619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"My tastes run to tidbits like truffles;\nMy cuffs feature satiny ruffles.\nI'm dandified, foppish,\nAnd over-the-toppish.\nIn short, I am beauish,\" he snuffles.", "id": 22620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "From the place of my birth, you could throw\nA stone to St Mary-le-Bow.\nI'm a cockney who dwells\nWithin reach of her bells,\nBut cor blimey, guv, 'ow did yer know?", "id": 22621, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Here I sit in the brig in a cell\nFor my status: AWL.\nThese MPs can't conceive\nThat it means I'm on leave.\nI believe they should learn how to spell.", "id": 22622, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Charles Dickens used pen names like Boz\nAs insurance in case his faux pas\nCaused sufficient offense\nThat the ones he'd incense\nShould deliver a punch in the schnozz.", "id": 22623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In Las Vegas, casinos don't gamble:\nThey know that the customers scramble\nTo see a big name.\nIt just isn't the same\nWhen the floor show is Rush or Glen Campbell.", "id": 22624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If you love ostentation, you know\nEating caviar's mostly for show.\nServing fish eggs, I guess,\nSuits my fancy address:\nNumber One-Seventeen Sturgeon Row.", "id": 22625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Apaesthesia happened to him\nAs he pedaled his bike in the dim\nLight of evening.  He crashed.\nWhen his pelvis was smashed,\nAll the feeling was lost in a limb.", "id": 22626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Your retail expansion's unwise\nIf you don't know the market's true size.\nTwenty stores in this town\nWill cause sales to go down,\nSince your sites will all cannibalize.", "id": 22627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Jack aimed high, but he didn't get far\n(As in \"close, but without a cigar\").\nHe saved fivers and tens\nFor a Mercedes-Benz,\nThen a carjacker hijacked his car.", "id": 22628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Let us sing of bituminous coal,\nMade of carbon and dug from a hole.\nOnce a widely used fuel\nAnd industrial tool,\nNow it plays a less prominent part.", "id": 22629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bucephalus: he was the horse\nAlexander the Great rode, of course,\nWhen he conquered the land\nWhere his cities would stand\u2014\nAlexandrias, founded by force.", "id": 22630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My girlfriend's a sweet CPA,\nAnd I hope we'll be married some day.\nSaid my mom, \"Seems to me males\nLet calculating females\nWaylay them. A wedding? No way!\"", "id": 22631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Afrocentrists would like to assail\nEurocentrists' unbalanced old tale:\nMost world history lacks\nVital African facts,\nSo they lobby until they prevail.", "id": 22632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "If you're packing, but sacking is lacking,\n'Cause racking needs stacking with backing,\nThen cardboard's the thing\n(With a good length of string) \u2014\nStop slacking and snacking; get cracking!", "id": 22633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For dental decay, I'm your fellow,\nEating candy and cookies and jello.\nI don't brush. I don't floss.\nSo my teeth are a loss.\nPeople say I am carious (yellow).", "id": 22634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've improved on my carrier's grip\nTo produce a more accurate flip.\nNow my newspapers soar\nTo the customer's door\u2014\nAnd the roofs of the folks who don't tip.", "id": 22635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the bearer of tidings and news,\nHe's the one we unfairly abuse\nWhen the message he brings\nIs of terrible things,\nSo he's singin' the carrier's blues.", "id": 22636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "What committee was given the task\nOf designing a bottle or flask\nFor the juice of the grape\nAnd came up with the shape\nOf the bocksbeutel, sir, may I ask?", "id": 22637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Bodhidharma, a monk from the west,\nCame to China, the legends attest,\nAnd to that population\nBrought Zen meditation,\nKung fu, drinking tea, and the rest.", "id": 22638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "An insurer has adverse selection\nWhen subscribers comprise a collection\nOf overweight smokers\nAnd nail-biting cokers\nInstead of a normal cross-section.", "id": 22639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Ross and Sal had a tiff about Gertie\n(Their sea bird) about seven-thirty:\n\"She's a black-footed albatross,\"\nPointed out Sal, but Ross\nCountered, \"Her feet are just dirty.\"", "id": 22640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Though Amalric, an academician,\nHad recanted and made his contrition,\nThe authorities hauled\nAmalricians (so-called)\nOut of town and induced their ignition.", "id": 22641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To the charming, discreet bourgeoisie\n(Middle-class as a glass of chablis),\nThe \"means of production\"\nIs just a construction\nTo rankle the powers that be.", "id": 22642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In unauthorized places of meeting\n(Or bethels), Dissenters retreating\nFrom Anglican norms\nWould pursue their reforms;\nChurch authorities felt that was cheating.", "id": 22643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Father Flynn is both dapper and chipper\nNow his cassock's equipped with a zipper.\nAll those buttons were slow\n(His arthritis, you know);\nNow he's ready to go, and looks hipper.", "id": 22644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We bakers are bread-making aces,\nWith recipes each one embraces.\nWe're eager to show\nYou our secrets on dough,\nBut it's done on a knead-to-know basis.", "id": 22645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "Willie helps us with petro supplies\nBy selling to truck-driving guys\nBiodiesel from farms,\nAnd one of its \"charms\":\nThe exhaust has the fragrance of fries.", "id": 22646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Her toes looked deformed; I could see it.\nThe joints were enlarged.  I'd agree it\nMeant no more tight shoes,\nBut she cried, \"I can't lose\nJimmy Choos 'cause my bunions decree it!\"", "id": 22647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Make it skinny and tall, extra foam,\"\nI told the barista.  \"Back home,\nCapuccino's so tasty!\"\n\"Signora, you're hasty,\"\nHe murmured, \"You've heard, 'When in Rome\u2026'?\"", "id": 22648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Biological controls really score\nWhen you're burdened with aphids galore.\nMy new gardener attests\nYou'll see fewer plant pests\nUsing ladybugs: poison no more.", "id": 22649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The carrier's handshake or sneeze\nIs a vector for spreading disease.\nSince the agent he bears\nIs infectious, he scares\nMe to death when we're shooting the breeze.", "id": 22650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "So what's the big deal? I'm a cad.\nSure, I lie and seduce them. Too bad.\nWe all have a good time\nWhile it lasts and then I'm\nOn to others\u2014who cares if they're mad?", "id": 22651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "\"Who, me? Alopecia?\" he said.\n\"True, I don't have a hair on my head,\nNor a lash nor a brow;\nI don't need them, nohow,\"\nAnd he'll baldly that bald-faced lie spread.", "id": 22652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Near the mousehole old Pusscat would wait\nFor the mousie to come for the bait\u2014\nA chunk of aged Cheddar;\nBut mousie knew better,\nThus foiling a fat-feline fate.", "id": 22653, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Though suppressing the appetite, meth\nIn excess leads to shortage of breath.\nThis resultant hypoxia\nCan lead to anoxia,\nAnd finally even to death.", "id": 22654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In India, Brahmans are classed\nAt the top of the heap, while in last\nCome untouchables, who\n(Just between me and you)\nWould be happy to stone the first caste.", "id": 22655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "I'm a cartophile; show me a map\nAnd I'm happy as any a chap.\nBe it old, be it new,\nWhat I'm yearning to do\nIs procure one to view. Verbum sap.", "id": 22656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Do not suffer from sulfurous grief!\nShredded cabbage can marry corned beef;\nAdd it last, let it heat\nIn the steam of the meat\nTill it's tender, each vivid-green leaf.", "id": 22657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When cassava that's bitter is squashed\nAnd de-skinned, then repeatedly washed,\nTapioca's created:\nFor custard it's fated,\nSince cyanide poison is quashed.", "id": 22658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris Young", "limerick": "Brick red is a russety brown\nRarely found in a graduate's gown;\nBut in Bristol and Leeds,\nEducational needs\nCan be met in the redbrick in town.", "id": 22659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The West Indies islands (I'll scrawl 'em),\nLess Bahamas, Antilles we call 'em.\nThe Greater are four\nIslands northwestern-more,\nAnd the Lesser's the rest. Yep, it's all 'em!", "id": 22660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Wrote on paper (the butler's the crook),\nThen collected the sheets, and I took\nUp a needle and thread\nAnd I bound them. Once read,\nI can say it's considered a book.", "id": 22661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Katherine Hooper", "limerick": "There's a lawyer I know, in dismay\u2014\nHe's without any clients who'll pay.\nAnd he can't handle torts\nIf he can't afford shorts.\nSo he's briefless, then, wouldn't you say?", "id": 22662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "\"This bannister's not cable-laid!\"\nDid the boatswain his deckhand upbraid.\n\"It's with sinister twists,\nOf yer dexterous wrists,\nThat yon' handrail should be macram\u00e9d!\"", "id": 22663, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "'Twas the flight surgeon's quick diagnosis\nThat this pilot had aeroneurosis\nAnd, unless he'd refrain\nFrom commanding his plane,\nWould soon make an approach to psychosis!", "id": 22664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "On a Japanese beach (on vacation)\nI remarked on the brilliant location.\n\"Oh, yes,\" said the man,\n\"That is why I'm so tan.\nHere it only takes one aprication!\"", "id": 22665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I suspected, but now I have proof,\nThat the fellow who fixed our church roof\nDid not volunteer,\nAs this invoice makes clear;\nIt was done in his boss's behoof.", "id": 22666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If things aren't going your way,\nAnd your setback you wish to allay,\nSay, \"A backset,\" if that\nBeats, \"I'm hors de combat,\"\nBut you've screwed up, whatever you say.", "id": 22667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "One Peruvian mob has gained sway\nThrough owl artifacts smuggled away.\nThey've no other pursuits:\nThe whole gang's in cahoots\nJust to loot Incan hoots for top pay.", "id": 22668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "East Anglia fell to the Danes\nAnd her king suffered martyrdom's pains;\nThough historians ravel\nOur holiday travel\nTo Bury St Edmunds remains.", "id": 22669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A pessimist sadly conceded\nHis hairline had sharply receded.\nHis wife is more bullish:\n\"What's left is quite fullish!\"\nTo me, his head's bigger than needed.", "id": 22670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I might be a brain in a vat\nWho has never been truly at bat.\nHas the life that I've led\nHappened all in my head?\nWhat being would architect that?", "id": 22671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "One general signals \"attack\",\nAnd another one sends you \"fall back!\"\nLearning now, and not later\nWhich one was a traitor,\nIs a Byzantine general's knack.", "id": 22672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Alexander (the first name is Jason)\nPlayed \"Costanza,\" although he will hasten\nTo state that this role\nIs just part of the whole\u2014\nYet a lifetime of \"George\" he's now facin'.", "id": 22673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "What's that? Do you hear what I hear?\nA carol? Then Christmas is near.\nBut ere winter, I long\nTo be rid of the song\nOf that one overpublicized deer.", "id": 22674, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "I simply can't bear or abrook\nAny obsolete words. I shan't look.\nI obstrigillate terms\nUnless Webster confirms\nThat they're recent. I go by the book.", "id": 22675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Keep running, keep riding, keep driving,\nFor higher acknowledgement striving\u2014\nGo take off and fly,\nBut the best you should try\u2014\nAt your dreams' destination arriving!", "id": 22676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Half a law and a pit on the moon\nHave been named after him\u2014what a boon!\nJean-Baptiste Biot\nWent up high, apropos,\nLong ago in a hot-air balloon.", "id": 22677, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Prussian soldiers were told to march fast\nTo help Wellington out on the vast\nBloody Waterloo site.\nLed by Bl\u00fccher, their fight\nMade Napoleon's battle his last.", "id": 22678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In Garmisch and Munich take rest,\nBe by Regensburg's buildings impressed;\nVisit Amberg and go\nVia Nuremberg, slow,\nUp to Bamberg: historically blessed.", "id": 22679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In biblical times the old Babel\nHad a sinners' den image or label,\nBut sin or a vice\nIs now in, funny, nice;\nWe are anytime willing and able!", "id": 22680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "He found many new things he could teach\nThere at Heidelberg where he could reach\nAnalytical heights\nBy new light-spectral  sights.\nBunsen's students paid heed to his speech.", "id": 22681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "With his tongue in a gag, burned alive,\nNine years after he dared to arrive\nAt Venice\u2014back home\u2014\nHe was killed then at Rome.\nHis ideas, however, survive.", "id": 22682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "For a riverboat tour in some style,\nThe old cataract, close to an isle,\nWasn't really obstructive,\nNor counterproductive\u2014\nNot in Agatha's Death on the Nile.", "id": 22683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Other kids utter words in their youth,\nBut Gerald makes sounds\u2014so uncouth!\nBut the Bong-Bong-Bong station\nNeeds boing boings\u2014elation!\nHe's great for the sound effects booth.", "id": 22684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Our daughter's at that awkward age\nWhen she bumps into things and can't gauge\nIf the girls in her class\nBeing mean will soon pass;\nThank heavens it's only a stage.", "id": 22685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Now, Bangi's an African tongue\nThat I learned in Zaire when quite young.\nIn Tibet, I speak Batti,\nBut in Cincinnati,\nMy words aren't spoken, but sung.", "id": 22686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Argan nuts are such tough nuts to crack\nYou could break a thumb, taking a whack.\nSo why try? It's their oil.\nIn Morocco, they're loyal\nAnd enjoy it on bread as a snack.", "id": 22687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Hindoo dancing girl; French: bayad\u00e8re;\nBailadeira in Portuguese\u2014they're\nEnglish bayadere's source;\nThis we nowadays force\nInto dubbing a striped fabric ware!", "id": 22688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once synthetic blue dye's first supplier,\nThis chemist attained a much higher\nDegree of success\u2014\nPrix Nobel and noblesse:\nJ. F. W. Adolf von Baeyer.", "id": 22689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I'm a parrot who lives in a cage;\nI am clever and love to upstage\nThe people who feed me;\nThey don't deign to heed me,\nBut I'm cagy \u2014 I make them engage.", "id": 22690, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some cardplayers love to play poker,\nAnd their favorite card is the joker,\nBy some gamblers reviled \u2014\n'Cause the joker is wild:\nIt's a godsend for bets mediocre.", "id": 22691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When the capos arranged for a meeting,\nA conflict arose about seating.\nIt was solved hit or miss\nAnd was sealed with a kiss;\nAny victory won was quite fleeting.", "id": 22692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "\"You must fight for your country, be brave \u2014\"\nWhat they say belies how they behave.\nThey'll send your kids to die\nAnd don't care if you cry;\nThey're not sending their child to his grave.", "id": 22693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "It's playful and has a loud shriek,\nThat colorful bird, the caique\n(Which can also mean boat\n'Round Greek islands afloat;\nAt least that doesn't bite out of pique).", "id": 22694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "A white-water stream's cataractous,\nAnd it's where all we kayakers practice\nDoing Eskimo rolls\nThrough Class V and VI holes.\n(Canoe tell waters falling attract us?)", "id": 22695, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My mom used to tell me: \"Good night!\nSleep tight\u2014Hope the bedbugs don't bite.\"\nIf I'd known, as I rested,\nMy blood they digested,\nI'd never have slept\u2014not a mite!", "id": 22696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "For an artist, I'm guessing it's hard\nTo remain on the edge: avant-garde,\nSince your art must be new,\nSomething fresh, something true,\nLike a crucifix smothered in lard.", "id": 22697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Don't tell me again, or once more,\nTo pick up my clothes off the floor.\nI'll be dragging my feet\nThe more you repeat,\nTill your pleas I will simply ignore.", "id": 22698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "More than forty years split into two\u2014\nLike the rest of the world\u2014with no view\nOf a future united...\nWe were that much excited\nTo watch Berlin's wall breaking through.", "id": 22699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "There's hair on the chair where I've sat\nAnd I'm sure that there's fur on my hat.\nSo I'm making a beeline\nFor my black and white feline\n'Cause I know that the culprit's my cat.", "id": 22701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The castellan found it a hassle\nTo supervise running the castle.\nHe leapt from the turret,\nCreating a stir. It\nWas said that he flattened a vassal.", "id": 22703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I am opened, my innards laid bare.\nSurgeons slice, and they cut, and they tear...\nOh, my precious wee son,\nNow your life has begun!\nSo then why does it seem so unfair?", "id": 22704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The elephant's famed for his trunk,\nWhich he lifts to avoid the odd skunk.\nHis nostrils are free,\nSince they're mobile, to flee,\nAnd be other than where the skunk stunk.", "id": 22705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A barefaced campaigner, Great Scott,\nSpoke the truth once for votes that he got!\nHe declared with a smile,\n\"I shall always lie while\nMy opponents all lie such a lot.\"", "id": 22708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Boanerges (pronounced boh-uh-NUR-jeez)\nWas famed for his orator's urge. He's\nA Biblical fellow\nWhose penchant to bellow\nOnce influenced querulous clergies.\"", "id": 22712, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "My colleagues, God bless 'em, will handle\nOdd titular aspects, and dandle\nThe earthier meaning\nOf bra, but I'm leaning\nTo quantum mechanics (less scandal).", "id": 22713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "As a judge I play hard, by the book;\nI would never be soft on a crook.\nI give all villains time,\nWhatsoever the crime\n(Although Bushwhacking I'd overlook).", "id": 22715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "All the limericks I learned in my youth\nWere bawdy and coarse and uncouth.\nToday, most that I find\nAre both chaste and refined.\nIs that cause for applause or for ruth?", "id": 22716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "The beaver builds dams where it mates;\nThe spider weaves webs where it waits;\nAnd the rabbit digs holes.\nBut it's feathery stoles\nThat the boa-constructor creates.", "id": 22717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "I've changed my opinion of you.\nI thought you were false, but you're true.\nI no longer despise\nOr anathematise\nYou. I think you're too good to beshrew.", "id": 22718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Said a printer whose name was Bill Barrett,\nWhile correcting a proof in a garret;\n\"In the printing trade, we\nStrive for accuracy\nBy using the stick and the caret.\"", "id": 22719, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "In our thumb wars, your thumb won't be found,\nAnd at arm wrestling, I'm more renowned.\nBut don't stare at me, please\u2014\nI'll blink first, ill at ease\u2014\nStaring contests I lose, every round.", "id": 22720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'd fashioned a case for my javelin,\nTo carry the thing when I'm travellin';\nBut the tip of my spear\nCaused a rip to appear,\nSo stand clear, just in case it's unravellin'.", "id": 22721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That Arabian camel whose hump\nWas the size of an elephant's rump\u2014\nSince her last liposuction\n(Elective reduction)\nIt's down to a lemon-sized lump.", "id": 22722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A castrato (who looks out of place,\nMiddle-aged while cherubic of face),\nWith his treble refined\nBy a cut that's not kind,\nSings at two thirds' remove from the bass.", "id": 22723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The Campine or Kempen's a moorland\nIn Belgium \u2014 not fertile but poor land;\nIt's paltry, indeed.\nIn poultry, a breed\nOf bright chickens is named for this dour land.", "id": 22724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Backstage musical films are well loved.\nIn them, ingenues often are shoved\nOnto stage when the star\nCan't go on: girl goes far,\nGets the fame, gets the guy, hand-in-gloved.", "id": 22725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Between thick knotted branches I lie:\nStaring up from this tree, I could fly.\nTwisted limbs are ensnarled\nWith each other and gnarled\nIn a lattice that splinters the sky.", "id": 22726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He gaped at me, eyes wide, askance,\nWhen I walked up and asked him to dance;\nFor as I've become older,\nI've gotten much bolder,\nForgetting I'm not worth a glance.", "id": 22727, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "olwen", "limerick": "If you suffer a burn, cut or fall\nIn New Zealand, there's one place to call.\nSince we have ACC,\nYou can't sue, by decree,\nBut the compo you get may be small.", "id": 22728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "If you look up the word aiguillette,\nYou'll find \"braids 'round the arm of a vet\",\nAnd \"a strip, thin as jerky,\nFrom a breast (duck or turkey)\"\nWith a fowl taste you'll never forget!", "id": 22729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If you drink caustic soda, you'll cry.\nBut don't worry, you're not gonna die.\nCaustic potash as well\nIsn't fatal or fell.\nIt's the truth (all except for the lye).", "id": 22730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Sees the cards being played near the bar...\nNow he's wishin' and hopin' they are,\nSay, a five and a four,\n'Cos he knows he would score...\nWalk on by, Mr Burt Baccarat.", "id": 22731, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "What are caconyms? Names that are bad.\nSo if you're Richard Head, blame your dad.\nYour nickname brings jeers;\nYou deny it, in tears,\nAs do classmates called Hugh Jass and Vlad.", "id": 22732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Metallic rock makes up an asteroid,\nCircling our sun in the vaster void.\nIf it ever should veer\nInto Earth's atmosphere,\nBetter duck, just in case of disasteroid.", "id": 22733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The cartwheeler reeled down the field,\nWith her underwear mostly revealed.\nAs she wheeled right on by me,\nI had to yell, \"Blimey!\nI wish that you had more concealed!\"", "id": 22734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Where the ancient Egyptians once dwelled,\nHuman organs canopic jars held.\nThey were placed near the mummy\n(Yes, one held a tummy!)\n'Til spirit with body could meld.", "id": 22735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The minuteman said, \"Here's the story:\nA British commander's our quarry.\nTake chicken, combine\nWith tomatoes and wine,\nAnd invite him to dine. Cacciatore.\"", "id": 22736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our son is a chemistry geek\nAnd a fan of the mothball's mystique.\nSo this summer we'll fashion\nA use for his passion\nAnd send him to camphor a week.", "id": 22737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It decodes hieroglyphic inscriptions\nOnce carved by the ancient Egyptians:\nThe Stone of Rosetta,\nWhich BM would get\u2014a\nForced transfer which caused French conniptions.", "id": 22738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "His Tierleben (Animals' Life)\nTaught the world about animals' strife\nAnd their habits as such,\nIn six volumes. (That much!)\nAlfred Brehm's grasp of creatures was rife.", "id": 22739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's\u2014without alchemistical malices\u2014\nFound from a detailed analysis:\nA chemistry master,\nTo get products faster,\nMakes use of the art of catalysis.", "id": 22740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "You address someone unknown by email\nAs \"Dear sir\", and expect \"him\" to remail?\nA girl, so addressed,\nMight feel injured or stressed\nAnd call such a mistake antifemale!", "id": 22741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS and speedysnail", "limerick": "When a pair of my statements conflict,\nYet the reasons behind them are strict,\nI'm possessed by antinomy\u2014\nLoser and winner, me!\nSomehow, I think I've been tricked.", "id": 22742, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Free enzymes, the zymase at least,\nSuffice\u2014outside cells of the yeast\u2014\nTo get sugars fermented:\nSo Buchner presented...\nThen he dined at Nobel's Banquet feast.", "id": 22743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"Leonardo's bike\", clearly a fake,\nPuts the bicycle's history at stake.\nNot as rapidly cleared\nAs it once had appeared:\nSome \"historians\" back that mistake.", "id": 22744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "1So this verse has a big joke inside:\n2It's subliminal; this one's implied.\n3You might make rictal faces\nOn finding this place 4is\nWhere a catch can successfully hide.", "id": 22745, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "You're a shirt lifter, that's what they think:\nThose two guys who just gave you a wink.\nThough your camp shirt is gay\nIn a colourful way,\nI must say: rue the day you chose pink!", "id": 22746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bully who suffered no fool\nLiked to brawl every day after school.\nA belligerent smoker,\nHe'd taunt any joker\nBy blowing his Kools and his cool.", "id": 22747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"It's their signature neckwear,\" he pledged,\n\"Worn by Mafia bosses and edged\nWith the finest of silk.\"\nBut I've heard he's a bilk,\nSince his mob ties are merely alleged.", "id": 22748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'll remain at your call and your beck,\nAnd your bidding I'll do in a sec.\nBut by snoozing all day\nIn my vampirish way,\nI'm now peckish for pecks on your neck.", "id": 22749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though the sound of the powerboat blared,\nThe blue heron just stood there and stared.\nFor this beautiful bird,\nMany things went unheard.\nWas he blue being heron-impaired?", "id": 22750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I have a conventional mate,\nA traditional guy\u2014very straight,\nBut at times he'll get mean\nAnd start venting his spleen.\nSuch a button-down choler can grate.", "id": 22751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One incredibly over-discussed line\nIs famed as a target-of-lust line\nFor fellas and rubes\nWho are hung up on boobs.\nYes, it's Pamela Anderson's bustline.", "id": 22752, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At one end of a rifle or gun\nIs the butt, but it isn't the one\nYou should point when you shoot.\nIf you do, then we'll boot\nYour butt out of this regiment, son.", "id": 22753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you've broken down breakup, you've got\nNot a noun, but a verb, which a lot\nOf the wordsmiths might view\nAs a breakthrough for you\nIf you see what, before, you did not.", "id": 22754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Stopping white-collar crime was the thing\nFor the cops when they set up this sting.\nSo the perp they arrest\nWears a suit and a vest.\nYes, a button-down collar adds zing!", "id": 22755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Whether \"animal, vegetable or\nA mineral?\" matters.  What for?\nWhen you play Twenty Questions,\nIt narrows suggestions\nFor what to ask next, so you score.", "id": 22756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"Darling, drink!\" So she drank, and got drunk.\n\"Do not sink!\" But she sank, getting sunk.\nTriple rhyming perfection,\nBy ablaut-inflection\u2014\nBut who links it to lank is a lunk!", "id": 22757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "To bathe might be fun, not just cleaning,\nEven more so if you are convening\nIn a huge bathing tub,\nAt a free bathers' club,\nWhatever its aims might be meaning.", "id": 22758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A container from oak in curved staves\u2014\nHeld by hoops made of metal\u2014which saves\nIts good contents, how fine,\nFrom becoming cheap wine:\nA barrique safely stored in the caves.", "id": 22759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The solutions of Bessel's equation\nAre functions defined on occasion\nBy others before,\nTo describe or explore\nSome cylindrically shaped application.", "id": 22761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Know what backlog in olden times meant?\nA big log to restrict the extent\nOf a hearth for a fire.\nWorkaholics aspire\nNow to keep it to zero percent!", "id": 22762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "During Lent, Brother Kent told the pastor,\n\"I'm a pious and God-fearing faster.\nNo meat, only fish\nComes these days on my dish,\nSuch as herring, or carp, or a castor.\"", "id": 22764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A careful example? Just one?\nWell, be careful, when out in the the sun,\nUsing magnifying glasses\nTo spot bugs on grasses \u2014\nUnless you like insects well-done.", "id": 22765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The city of Bremen, a state,\nWith its harbor (or Hafen)'s not great\nWhen it's judged by its size.\nBut this statement belies\nIts true economical weight.", "id": 22766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Toward western-style freedom he leaned,\nAnd wore denim, not too often cleaned,\nLike those trousers \u2014 I mean\nThose that made Jimmy Dean\nLook so cool and so sexy, blue-jeaned.", "id": 22767, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Believe me, I'm truly not jokin':\nWords used as a symbol, a token,\nMay sound a bit funny\u2014\nLike girl, dubbed a bunny\u2014\nBut that's analogically spoken!", "id": 22768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our compassion's expression's affection,\nA beautiful human connection.\nIt doesn't ask much \u2014\nJust a smile or a touch\nNurtures love and affection's reflection.", "id": 22771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I'm feline and furry and fat\n(In the Arctic I can't chase a rat).\nThough I'm left out to sit\nNear the igloo, unfit,\nI've been told, \"You're a very cool cat!\"", "id": 22772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As a palpably awkward array\nMarks a stanza that's madly all-A,\nBatty bards, always daft,\nBrag, \"An A-canny craft!\"\nAnd attract \"Crazy, ay! Canny, nay!\"", "id": 22773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "His Creation was just on its way\nWhen, exhausted, God muttered, \"Oy vey!\nSince this timespan needs seven\nNew names now, Good Heaven,\nI think I shall call it a day!\"", "id": 22775, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An attempt to come closer, approach\nMay refer to a movement by coach\nOr by car, or by talking,\nOr even by walking,\nSneakin' up on some game you might poach.", "id": 22776, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Ideally when stealing a kiss\nFrom a miss, she'll find nothing amiss.\nIs there passion? A trace.\nThen a longer embrace.\nI could dally for days, just like this.", "id": 22777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Caramba!\" yelled Mexican Pete,\nAs he galloped away down the street.\nIt was rather a shame\nThat his horse wasn't game \u2014\nSo he galloped on just his two feet.", "id": 22778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a Carthusian prior\nWho declared, \"Guys, I'd like to retire.\"\nSaid a monk, \"How inspiring!\nTo retire from retiring\nWas aspired to by no prior friar.\"", "id": 22779, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "With burley well stuffed in my pipe,\nAnd, at twelve, under age and unripe,\nI'm a lousy young bloke\nWho enjoys a quick smoke\nOf tobacco he might even swipe.", "id": 22780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "With computers, a benchmark will show\nIf a system is running too slow.\nThe time that it takes\nIs the measure it makes\nWhen it's running some tasks that you know.", "id": 22781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Catch one's breath is a nice way of saying\nAs you lie on the grass after playing\n('Cause your lungs have an ache,\nAnd you rest for their sake),\n\"Till my pulse has recovered, I'm staying!\"", "id": 22782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "To staunch with a burn application\nIs an act that's called cauterization.\nThe blood cannot flow\nPast the burned spots and so\nIts use can stop exsanguination.", "id": 22783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "You're spreading this trash (I've the feeling).\nYour calumny's leaving me reeling.\nHow dare you besmirch\nSuch a fine name as Birch?\nI borrowed those cars; that's not stealing.", "id": 22784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "It may be I'm suffering shrekdom\u2014\nDo things cancerously grow in my rectum?\nMy doc said, \"The answer\nIs polyps or cancer,\nSo lie on your side.\" Then he checked 'em.", "id": 22785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "The nuns at the convent St. Andling\nSat in silence, inspecting by candling.\nBy the light through the shell\nThey could see very well\nThat their eggs were still fresh after handling.", "id": 22786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When cattle let warble flies ride,\nThey lay eggs; maggots burrow inside.\nThen these cattle grubs feast\nOn the flesh of the beast,\nOften spoiling the meat and the hide.", "id": 22787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Below decks when the boat flipped and trapped her,\nAll the crap tossed and pummeled and rapped her.\nWhen she fell, her big head\nGot stuck fast 'neath the bed:\nSo when capsized, her cap size had capped her.", "id": 22788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "As sure as the last stretch was doable,\nAnd the jerky we brought is unchewable,\nThe passage ahead\nHolds nothing to dread\u2014\nIt's calm and completely canoeable.", "id": 22789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "Betweentimes is sort of betwixt\nThe present in which we're now fixed\nAnd the future that's due.\n(I hear tell Doctor Who\nIs in trouble for getting them mixed.)", "id": 22790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Ugh! This peace pipe is giving me grief,\nFor I choke on this slow burning leaf.\nI inhale nonetheless,\nWhich I hope will impress\nThis American Indian chief.", "id": 22791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Let's talk Catch-22 \u2014 we can share\nThoughts on anti-war novels that scare.\nThere's a scene all about\nSnowden's guts spilling out\nWhile Yossarian murmurs, \"There, there.\"", "id": 22792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "If cartographers didn't prepare\nAll the maps, how would travellers fare?\nFor then no-one would know\nWhich direction to go.\nA to B would become A to where?", "id": 22793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "When bombarded with protests, the Dey\nSaid, 'My slaves will stay put! Free? No way.'\nTo Algiers the fleets sailed;\nTheir bombardment prevailed.\nAnd the slaves? Freed with no more delay!", "id": 22794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "If the flame of love burns, let's not joke\nWhen it's fanned by a gal and a bloke.\nBut for love to ignite,\nPassion's fire must light,\nWhich is why, post-sex, some people smoke.", "id": 22795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "I arrive, sign the book, go inside,\nThank the staff for the care they've supplied.\n\"Mum. Hello.\" She just smiles,\nReaches out across miles,\nAnd our hands bridge a widening divide.", "id": 22796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Just imagine what Abe would have said\nIf a fan proposed carving his head\nIn the side of a cliff.\nHe'd have said, \"That's terrif,\nBut I'd like a nice photo instead.\"", "id": 22797, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That pyro, some arsonist hick,\nPlayed a sick and despicable trick:\nOverwhelmed by his craze,\nLit his sister ablaze.\nSomeone git the extinguisher, quick!", "id": 22798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The colt saw the bolt, senses heightened,\nWhen the heavens abruptly had brightened.\nSo he risked being jolted,\nAnd suddenly bolted\nThrough unbolted doors, sorely frightened.", "id": 22799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How the hell can a pelican fill\nAll that space that he finds in his bill?\nGobbling fish by the bucket,\nDoes he ever say, \"Forget it,\nI'm just tired and too over-the-hill?\"", "id": 22800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you're tired, after driving for hours,\nAnd you need to recharge all your powers,\nWhy not stop off at Bates\n(A motel with low rates)?\nBut beware of the blood in the showers.", "id": 22801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In the concert, the audience hissed\nWhen the drunken conductor dismissed\nThe lead trumpet for saying\nThe cause of his swaying\nWas being, let's say, Brahms and Liszt.", "id": 22802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "South Americans feast on the guinea-pig\n(A small but obese rodent\u2014mini/big):\nThey reckon the cavy\nGoes lovely with gravy.\nYou think it sounds fattening? Skinny prig!", "id": 22804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "\"It's a venue of ample capaciousness,\"\nSaid the vicar, impressed with its spaciousness.\nBut his flock, though devout,\nWere vexatiously stout,\nWhich no doubt's what brought out his \"good gracious!\"-ness.", "id": 22805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "I recall long ago being thrilled\nDoing hobbies at which I was skilled;\nBut I put them on back\nBurners, losing my knack\nAnd leaving my dreams unfulfilled.", "id": 22806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Two junior high girls, buddy-buddy,\nWere innocent, carefree, and nutty.\nBut separate paths taken\nMeant friendship forsaken.\nOne's wholesome; the other turned slutty.", "id": 22807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Said an ass to the man on its back,\n\"The carrot and stick is a tack\nYou might want to reflect\nOn.  Got carrots?  Expect\nMe to carry you.  Sticks, though, are wack.\"", "id": 22808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Abikus are demons who dwell\nIn children and snack for a spell.\nThere's a cycle of death\nAnd again drawing breath\nFor the kids and abikus as well.", "id": 22809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "I'm agnostic, i.e., noncommittal.\nThe concept of God is a riddle;\nSame for heaven and hell.\nOthers' \"truths\" just don't jell.\nI devoutly inhabit the middle.", "id": 22810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With my fiberless diet, I skulk\nTo the toilet to struggle and sulk.\nFor more roughage, I'm told,\nGet a cereal sold\nBy the name of Incredible Bulk.", "id": 22812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a plant in the marsh that deters\nOne from wading, the angler avers.\nAfter fishing near shore,\nHe's got prickles galore\u2014\nWith the bur reed, he's buried in burs.", "id": 22814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bur marigolds cover my socks\nFrom a day in the yard clearing rocks.\nThey have prickly achenes\nSticking right through my jeans,\nAnd, for weeds, are a nettlesome pox.", "id": 22816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The horses called buckskins are fun;\nThey're the color of yellowish dun.\nBoth their manes and their tails\nAre all black, and the males\nMay be skinny and buck when they run.", "id": 22817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm removing the trees in the stand\nOn the side of the hill, where I've planned\nTo erect a new mill\nThat will show off my skill\nAt discovering buildable land.", "id": 22818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You must pay to the bearer his due\nIf the draft that he's giving to you\nIs a certified check\nFrom the Bank of Quebec\nOr a savings and loan in Peru.", "id": 22819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My mother complains when I ditch\nAny girlfriend who's chichi and rich.\nMom's so catty and bitchy:\n\"Your tastes are too kitschy!\"\nI guess I'm a son of a . . . witch.", "id": 22820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a teen on a fancy ranchero,\nI dressed in a jaunty sombrero.\nI was dashing and gay,\nBut I'm older today,\nJust a hobbled and gray caballero.", "id": 22821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This film has producers who shine,\nAnd the writing is top of the line.\nIt's the story of Munich's\nMost pious of eunuchs.\nSo how does the castrate? Divine!", "id": 22822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Callithumpian noise is a pain\nFor the monarch, Juan Carlos, of Spain.\nThough he's issued a ban,\nPeople march when they can,\n'Cause they love to parade on his reign.", "id": 22823, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your chuckles are put to the test;\nYour guffaws are observed and assessed.\nCachinnation, we learn,\nIs a function of turn.\nLaughing last is the one who laughs best.", "id": 22824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You were slim, keeping calories low\u2014\nSuch a sylph, then you started to grow.\nNow a binge has begun\nAnd it's saddened me, hon,\nThat you've chosen to let your sylph go.", "id": 22825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The ventriloquist's party is swinging;\nHis canary, set free, is now winging\nFrom table to chair.\nYes, the host's over there,\nBut I know why this birdcage is singing.", "id": 22826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Among veggies, I favor the yam,\nAnd I'm partial to sugar-cured ham.\nI like fruitcake and beets,\nSo I'm frank about sweets.\nPeople tell me how candied I am.", "id": 22827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the tropics amphibians race,\nBut one family's setting the pace.\nThose ignoring their wishes\nWill sleep with the fishes.\nCaecilians are running the place.", "id": 22828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Parisian chorine can recall\nBeing cautioned: \"No leaning, stand tall!\nWhen you kick, stay erect,\nSo that leg will project.\nIn the cancan, you can't cant at all.\"", "id": 22829, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My recalcitrant hair is a passel\nOf tangles and twists, like a tassel.\nSo allow me to gush\nOn the stiff-bristled brush,\nFor it's clear a man's comb is his hassle.", "id": 22830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "A man, stripped and beaten when found\nBy a trekker, was Jericho bound.\nThe robbers who fled\nAdummim thought him dead.\nThrough God's grace, the man rose off the ground.", "id": 22831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The fertility bank has in store\nAll the semen I've given before.\nI'm a whale of a dad\nTo the children I've had,\nAnd my sperm? I'll just cachalot more.", "id": 22832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since I'm hip that this liver of mine\nIs a bust, I've been toeing the line.\nBut your wine has a nose\nLike a cheeky merlot's,\nSo my heart says a nip'll be fine.", "id": 22834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I got struck in the face by a blast\u2014\nA verbal assault flying fast.\nThough I'm left in a heap,\nShe will not see me weep.\nShe has shown her true colors, at last.", "id": 22835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Just a small golden bloom to begin\u2014\nDandelions, so hardy, dig in.\nThough I try very hard,\nThey now carpet my yard\u2014\nAnd my neighbor's, to both our chagrin.", "id": 22836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "He's a blight on our family name:\nWish he'd quit passing off all the blame\nWhen he lies, cheats and steals.\nHe ignores our appeals.\nCan't he see how he's brought us to shame?", "id": 22837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I'm trying to burnish my rep;\nIt's no longer that cool to be hep.\nIf this cat's gonna shine,\nThen it's time to refine\u2014\nTo buff up my slang's the first step.", "id": 22838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I've been weighing if Dad chose to buy her\nThat Mother's Day gift just to try her.\nMum railed like a bitch\nAt the bathroom scale, which\nI believed (I was three) was a \"lyre\".", "id": 22839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The amnesiac's life ain't a ball.\nI remember, um, nothing at all.\nOh, I feel like an ass,\nSince I've been one, alas,\nFor as long as I cannot recall.", "id": 22840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The cheeks of the anthropoid bottom\nSaved humankind face when we got 'em.\nThe odd parts they conceal\nWould, perhaps, make us feel\nQuite embarrassed should ever we spot 'em.", "id": 22842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I'm an authorly authorling favoured\nBy Muses to scribble stuff savoured\nFrom Salt Lake to Skye\nThanks to broadband, but I\nAm more minor in China. I'm David.", "id": 22844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I have to blame you, blepharitis,\nThat blepharoconjunctivitis\nAnd blepharoplasty\nAre Greek and sound nasty \u2014\nYou could have been plain eyeliditis.", "id": 22845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He called, \"Abracadabra!\" Despair!\nHis white rabbit was simply not there.\nWell aware that he faced\nGetting mocked, first he paced,\nThen he frenziedly pulled out his hare.", "id": 22846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "An undersea cable hissed, \"Lout!\nListen, jumper, I warn you, you're out\nOf your depth here. Be smart \u2014\nStick to cars. Now depart.\nIf you start something here, I shall shout!\"", "id": 22847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You say God-spurning atheists lust\nJust for profit and tat till they're dust?\nThey're well-rounded, I feel,\nThose whose life-paths reveal\nA compassionate non-prophet thrust.", "id": 22848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Sopranos\u2014they always sing higher\nThan altos, when placed in a choir.\nBut nevertheless,\nThey're all nicely dressed\nWhen wearing their formal attire.", "id": 22849, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "In the southwestern part of Ukraine\nStood a town once called Akkerman, plain.\nBut now, it's embossed, see?\nBilhorod-Dnistrovskyy\nWas renamed just to keep the Slavs sane.", "id": 22850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "If your blood has a lack of O2,\nAnoxemia's gotten to you.\nBetter strap on a mask,\nBut to me, please don't ask\nWhy your blood has that nice shade of blue.", "id": 22851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "One concept has left me aghast:\nWhen two statements, both valid, contrast.\nIt is not mental bliss,\nThis antinomy, Miss,\nTo accept it as logic at last.", "id": 22852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "The archaist got up to dress.\nIn his closet, he found quite a mess:\nBell-bottoms that flare,\nAll clothes I'd judge square.\nBut they're \"retro\" and hip now, I guess.", "id": 22853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Air conditioning\u2014simply AC\u2014\nInside all Texans' cars needs to be.\nThe air chills! It feels nice;\nYou don't have to think twice\nTo engage when the temp's one-oh-three.", "id": 22854, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "When your robot has motion bionic,\nIf it moves to the grooves that are sonic,\nThen it has a nice name\n(A bit long, all the same).\nIt's called audio-animatronic.", "id": 22855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "This canopy blinds me with blue,\nThough the dawn and its dew are still new.\nAutumn sun, low and bright,\nWith its cold, burnished light,\nLeaves the sky as a stark, empty view.", "id": 22856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Don't hop down the lane, quite at ease:\nStay away from our orb-eyeballs, please,\nOr these dreadlamps will find you\nTo bind you and blind you \u2014\nEnsnared and bedazzled, you'll freeze.", "id": 22857, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "If it seems that you merely survive \u2014\nJust exist \u2014 don't feel thankful or thrive,\nSimply pause for one breath \u2014\nNot to think about death,\nBut to savour that instant alive.", "id": 22858, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and waterrocks", "limerick": "She's a rock, standing firm through the strife:\nA good daughter and sister and wife.\nRaising children who care\u2014\nThere her capstone's laid; they're\nPetra's crowning achievement in life.", "id": 22859, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Are funguses blighting your nuts?\nOr parasites stirring your guts?\nIf some benamyl's used,\nYou'll be freed, disabused\nOf your small, squirmin' vermin and smuts.", "id": 22860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "His coneys contract enteritis.\n\"It's the bloat!\" bewails poor Farmer Titus.\nThey're distended with gas;\nShould it happen to pass\nThat they die, rabbit stew will delight us.", "id": 22861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Where precambrian presidents' faces\nGaze out over old placer places,\nNative holiness fills\nSouth Dakota's Black Hills \u2014\nAnd they're putting in more RV spaces.", "id": 22862, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though the math leaves me weary and dazed,\nOne controls how reflections are phased\nFrom a finely ruled grating\nBy gently abating\nThe angle at which it is blazed.", "id": 22863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the garden, arched branches will grow\nO'er a walkway where lovers might go.\nIs it tree-weaving arts,\nOr a cradle for hearts?\nCall it arbor, or call it berceau.", "id": 22864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Robber Bob's quite a pro!  Case in point:\nHe spent hours in casing the joint\nHe intended to rob,\nDoing such a good job,\nWe've a new \"Prince of Thieves\" to anoint.", "id": 22865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Before Christ, on the Bosporus shore,\nOld Byzantium grew, and knew war.\n'Twas a bustling place\nFor the people of Thrace.\nLater on, it was quite a bit more.", "id": 22866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "In The Case of the Wandering Rhino,\nThe detective, a strapping albino,\nFinds the gate of the zoo\nTo be bent and askew.\nDoes the rhino escape?  Hell if I know...", "id": 22867, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though at first he cried out \"O Fortuna!\",\nIn France he became a kahuna.\nHe deserves our acclaim,\nSo in Arago's name\nThere are craters on Mars and on Luna.", "id": 22868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The factory simply called \"B\"\nMakes very expensive debris.\nWith positrons gnashing\nElectrons, it's smashing\nOut mesons with 6 GeV.", "id": 22869, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With no tricksy dispersal at all,\nAn atelechore fails to enthrall,\nThough it meets the demands\nOf simplicity's fans:\nAll its seeds simply grow where they fall.", "id": 22870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the stallion, a wildness awoken\u2014\nBut in me, sadness deep and unspoken\nComes down like a weight\nAs I ponder his fate,\nWhich is first to be gelded, then broken.", "id": 22871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Neptunian Arago ring,\nAn ephemeral, gossamer thing,\nIs named for the man\nWho suggested the plan\nUsed for seeking the starry sea king.", "id": 22872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Some ants found a way to compete,\nWith a food-storing caste called \"replete\".\nWhat is forced down their throat\nMakes their abdomens bloat,\nFilled with honey for others to eat.", "id": 22873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "My diet just makes me grow fatter.\nMy cook deep-fries fish in crisp batter.\nThe doctor now quips,\n\"Those are chips on your hips!\"\nShould I batter the cook, or the latter?", "id": 22874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "My naturist neighbour, I fear,\nWould not make a good engineer.\nHe thinks that ball-bearing\nMeans walking round wearing\nAn ear-to-ear grin, and no gear.", "id": 22878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"That Bevan,\" said Bevin, \"is a hound,\nJust a self-seeking humbug, a scound-\nrel, who, some say, I know,\nIs his own greatest foe.\nBut he ain't.  Not while I'm still around.\"", "id": 22879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A precocious young schoolgirl named Wendy\nThought limerick-writing was trendy;\nBut her school English master\nThought it quite a disaster:\n\"It's just caco\u00ebthes scribendi!\"", "id": 22880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When you burst through the doors in a huff\nThose were batwings you treated so rough,\nWhile a batwing-type sleeve\nIs quite loose, I believe,\nAt the armhole, but tight at the cuff.", "id": 22881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Once, some sugar with barley was boiled\nTo make sweets that were twisted or coiled.\nNow they're most likely round,\nMade with glucose, and found\nIn your pack when uphill you have toiled.", "id": 22882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Balclutha? It's south from Dunedin.\nTo leave Invercargill, you're needin'\nTo head mostly east,\nTo the Clutha, at least\n(Where the road from Dunedin was leadin').", "id": 22883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Is a donkey a numb-lipped old loon\nIf he wants to ingest a cardoon?\nThink not ill of the ass\nMunching thistles with grass:\nArtichoke him\u2014but he reaps a boon.", "id": 22884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "I was researching habits of meanies\nWho like to biff boys on their beanies,\nWhen old Prof. Moldova\nSaid, \"Run an ANOVA.\"\nI learned, by these means, they're just weenies!", "id": 22885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "The orchids arrived in some packing\nWhich Cattley threw out, never tracking\nTheir sprouts, till they flowered,\nWhereupon he was showered\nWith praises\u2014cattleya was cracking!", "id": 22886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Agonyclites stood when they prayed,\nLeaving others disturbed and dismayed.\nThe authorities felt\nThat they ought to have knelt,\nAnd I think that they should have obeyed.", "id": 22887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Aesymnetic regimes, in effect,\nFeature monarchs the people elect.\nWhen you limit the royalty,\nThey earn subjects' loyalty\nOr look for new jobs, I expect.", "id": 22888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Apodiabolosis seems so severe\u2014\nHe's demoted to devil this year!\nLet's be totally frank:\nSuch reduction in rank\nCan affect an attorney's career.", "id": 22889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Finger sandwiches (always so grand!)\nWere the entree the cannibals planned.\nThey invite us and feed us;\nTo claim they mislead us\nWould seem to be \"biting the hand.\"", "id": 22890, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When they bose, archaeologists pound\nA particular section of ground\nSo the thudding can show\nWhere the trenches should go\nBy the small variations in sound.", "id": 22891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We constructed a handicapped ramp\nAt the home of the speedwalking champ.\n\"This project,\" he said,\n\"Is a boondoggle, Fred.\"\nI said, \"Really? We made those at camp!\"", "id": 22892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Jazz pianist, so famous and fine,\nHe's truly a favorite of mine.\nWhy only \"Take Five\"?\nI'll take all of his jive!\nDave Brubeck: as rich as fine wine.", "id": 22893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Some say nationalism is cool,\nBut I'll not be a jingoist fool.\nMy greater attachment\nBelongs to my catchment\u2014\nGo Area Seven! You rule!", "id": 22894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since his cassock is not bissonata,\nFather Flynn is persona non grata.\nHis bishop is wroth,\nFor this man of the cloth\nWears chiffon, and not wool, as he oughta.", "id": 22895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Has the book-binder's art form been lost?\nYears ago, many books were embossed,\nBut the change was strategic,\nSince bibliopegic\nFrugality lowers their cost.", "id": 22896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the \"dandy-line\" whitens to fluff,\nYou can pick it, but don't be too rough.\nThough it looks like a snowball,\nDon't throw it. The blowball\nExplodes when you give it a puff.", "id": 22897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My boss has assigned me the task\nTo define the word boss: it's a cask\nOr a bottle or butt\u2014\nYes, it does sound like smut,\nAnd it may have a bung-hole. I'll ask.", "id": 22898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Locomotive designers designing\nFor the industries, logging and mining,\nSay the barney is small,\nBut still able to haul\nWhatsoever the boss is assigning.", "id": 22899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My parietal lobe on the right\nHas a lesion (sustained in a fight).\nNow whatever I heft\nWith the hand on the left\u2014\nI can't tell if it's heavy or light.", "id": 22900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When their fans and the press are bombarding\nCelebrities, bodyguards guarding\nThem don't give a hoot\nIf their clients look cute\nOr like President Warren G. Harding.", "id": 22901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "therese flanagan", "limerick": "Your colors are red, white, and blue;\nThe flag is important to you.\nYou can't help but express\nYour Americanness;\nTo your country, you'll always be true.", "id": 22903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Let us go get a stick and a rag\nOr a piece of an old plastic bag!\nTie the flag on the stick,\nChoose a team\u2014get it, quick\u2014\nIf you want to play capture the flag!", "id": 22904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Cat's cradle's a game that we'd play\nOn a snowy and cold winter's day.\nWe'd make patterns with string\nWhile we'd happily sing\n'Til the sunshine had come back to stay.", "id": 22906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Once my knowledge of glands wasn't grand,\nBut my learning I wished to expand.\nNow my autobiography\nIncludes adenography\u2014\nThe study of every gland.", "id": 22907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "My calligraphy's sure to excite\nWhen my \"beautiful writings\" ignite\nA conservative's passion,\nProvoked by my fashion\nOf essays, which lean to the right.", "id": 22908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Liberace lit twelve candles nightly\nOn gold candelabras, politely,\nHis movements awash\nIn esprit and panache.\nThere they burned, but he flamed twice as brightly.", "id": 22909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In Vienna, midst three million dead,\nThere's a bust of a scientist's head,\nAnd above it is graved\nWhat he most wanted saved:\nNot a verse \u2014 an equation instead!", "id": 22910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If you master the world you survey\nYou'll draw maps that won't lead us astray.\nWith a benchmark or two\nYou will show points where you\nKnow position and height 'long the way.", "id": 22911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A carouser careens down the street,\nBarely able to stay on his feet.\nHe acts like a lout\nAs he staggers about;\nHis behavior is far from discreet.", "id": 22912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The cadger wants something for free,\nSo he sets about badgering me.\nBut he's made a mistake;\nIf he wants to partake,\nQuid pro quo is what I will decree.", "id": 22913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A carper is always complaining;\nHe whines, finding fault and disdaining\nAttempts to appease him;\nThere's no way to please him \u2014\nHis manner's unpleasant and draining.", "id": 22914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Why the dickens would Charles climb a mountain\nWith an adjutage made for a fountain?\nIt's 'cause fitting a nozzle\nIs fun, as soon Boz'll\nEpisodic'ly here be recountin'.", "id": 22915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The life of a big city cabby\nIs enough to make anyone crabby.\nDrive a cab in New York\nAnd you'll sure pop your cork\nBetween traffic and passengers gabby.", "id": 22916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I pestered my mom, to promote\nThe idea of a camel hair coat.\nBut despite all the drumming\nNo coat was forthcoming;\nAll I managed to get was her goat.", "id": 22917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"Free the quarks!\" has a spirited sound,\nFor a loose one has never been found.\nTheir freedom's exotic\u2014\nIt's called asymptotic\u2014\nThe closer, the less they are bound.", "id": 22918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There's a chance that a seaworthy craft\nCan be turned to a splintery raft\nBy explosives on board,\nSo they're normally stored\nIn a dinghy a cable length aft.", "id": 22919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "You really are snake-in-the-grass-ing \u2014\nIt's optical junk that you're passing!\nYour sin is omission.\nThis camera's condition\nIs worn, and with obvious brassing.", "id": 22920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Californium's radioactive,\nA feature some see as attractive.\nBut it mostly decays\nIn a matter of days,\nSo it's lethal unless you're refractive.", "id": 22921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Give a fission reactor a trial,\nBut pay heed to the temperature dial.\nLest you meet with your gods,\nUse the cadmium rods.\nSpare the rods, and you'll ruin the pile.", "id": 22922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Many admirals like being bluff\nWhen attempting to speak off the cuff.\nThey're outspoken and frank\nAs a token of rank,\nBut good natured, I think, and not gruff.", "id": 22923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "From the heat and the dryness and dust,\nIn the distance a spiraling gust\nCalled a bhut (from the Hindi)\nBlows dusty and windy,\nBut isn't intense or robust.", "id": 22924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Like its namesake, with backing quite slim,\nFind Arrhenius out on a limb.\nThis crater's location\nBy lunar libration\nAllows us a view of its rim.", "id": 22925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Such pretension is utter self-flattery,\nAn indulgence in flaky mad-hattery:\nIs this room full of brats\nHaving naptime on mats\nAn \"academy\"? No, it's a brattery!", "id": 22926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The libido, says Freud, is the source\nOf attachment's emotional force.\nOne can see such cathexis\nIn practice in Texas:\nThe cowpuncher's love for his horse.", "id": 22927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Those who kowtow or bend are called bowers;\nSo are arbors (good harbors from showers);\nAnd prow-mounted anchors\nOn ships such as tankers;\nAnd bedrooms for damsels in towers.", "id": 22929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Joined AA, but I've frequently lapsed\nWhen resolve and intention collapsed.\nOne more bar, one more beer,\nMakes a difference, I hear,\nBut I'm livin' my life in the Pabst.", "id": 22930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Les AuCoin is a man in the know \u2014\nFirst as Poli Sci prof, long ago.\nThen as Oregon rep,\nHe was always in step.\n\"There's two sides to AuCoin!\" he would crow.", "id": 22931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "First comes 5, golf's a drive to the sand.\nNext is 4, that's for forethought, preplanned.\n3 is free, just us two.\n2 is you, smeared with goo.\n1 is sun at the beach \u2014 life is grand!", "id": 22932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Your music's too loud \u2014 get a clue!\n'Cause you're making the rest of us stew.\nWould some dynamite chase\nOut your bass-thumping case?\nWhy not see what your boom box can do?", "id": 22933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ezekiel had hives?  Didja know?\nIt's the Bible that tells us that's so.\nYup, the Good Book reveals\nThat ol' Zeke saw some wheals.\n(Make that calamine lotion \"to go.\")", "id": 22934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "To the mountains for skiing, I'm fleeing;\nI've forgotten my goggles for seeing.\nThe slopes are too bright \u2014\nThere's no way I can fight\nThe unbearable whiteness of skiing.", "id": 22935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Where's my satchel?  It's gone with no trace?\"\nPerry Mason has such a long face!\nThis superb legal mind\nIs dejected to find\nHe's apparently lost his first case.", "id": 22936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When the middle-class folk go astray,\nSo much lawlessness causes dismay.\nWhat would help cops combat\nAll this crime is a rat \u2014\nThey'll be flippin' some burghers today.", "id": 22937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The neighbors were playing a rhumba.\nToo loud! I was hopin' for slumba.\nSo I called on the phone,\n\"Play a lullaby. (Moan.)\"\nAll they answered was, \"Sorry, wrong numba.\"", "id": 22938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A government overthrow's brewing:\nMy capture-the-crown plot ensuing.\nThe birds I'm recruiting\nLeave no one disputing\nThat pigeons can help with the couping.", "id": 22939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A hazan is a synagogue chanter,\nAnd ours quit (over pay, says the banter).\nWe replaced him, of course,\nBut, surprise!, with a horse.\nYou should see how that stallion can cantor.", "id": 22940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "I told Cassie, \"A pointer from me:\nSee the world's largest lake from a quay.\nOn your trip to Eurasia\n'No bathroom' won't faze ya;\nThe sign tells you Caspian Sea.\"", "id": 22941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Sore throat?\" asked the doctor. \"Of course,\n'Every case in its place' I enforce.\nCartesian geometers\nGet the thermometers:\nDescartes comes ahead of de hoarse.\"", "id": 22942, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The man with the raggedy coat\nWas constantly clearing his throat.\nHe was smelly and rough,\nEvil-tempered and gruff.\nHe was caprine \u2014 that's \"just like a goat\".", "id": 22943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"I say, Bunter, whenever you speak,\nIt's to whine or complain or to sneak,\nTo tittle, to tattle,\nDo everything that'll\nPut a chap up in front of the beak.\"", "id": 22945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The troubles of life seem designed\nTo weigh down on your soul and to grind\nThe things that relax ya.\nYou must seek ataraxia,\nA tranquil and calm state of mind.", "id": 22946, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The job of a bridge is suspending,\nBut for some, there's a moment that's pending\nWhen the structure will break\nFrom a load it can't take:\nThe most dangerous moment is bending.", "id": 22947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I think it's a boneheaded plan.\nBeat the Hessians? I don't think we can.\nYes, I know what you're thinking\u2014\nIt's Christmas, they're drinking\u2014\nBut they'll trounce us and kill every man!", "id": 22948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "They started at nine, but won't stop\nThe jazz that's referred to as bop.\nThey play louder and stronger\u2014\nCan't take it much longer\u2014\nWill someone please call me a cop?", "id": 22949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her jacket is made of boucl\u00e9,\nSo it's lumpy, with bumps, one might say,\nMade of yarn that's in use\u2014\nOne of three strands is loose\u2014\nBy both knitters and those who crochet.", "id": 22950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am told by my wine-loving friends\nThe Black Portugal grape often ends\nUp where labels don't show it,\nSo most folks don't know it\nIs used to make many red blends.", "id": 22951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A card shark's not really a fish\nThat you'd catch, cook, and serve in a dish.\nHe plays cards with finesse,\nOr he cheats, I would guess;\nEither way, takes your pay (that's his wish).", "id": 22952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Black peppercorns, spheroid like peas,\nGrow on vines and are likely to please.\nWhen they're dried, they're a spice\nThat for cooking is nice,\nBut the ground Vietnamese makes me sneeze.", "id": 22953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"I've got room for the gents and the ladies,\"\nSaid the boatman who'll take us to Hades.\n\"Come on board, dudes and chicks;\nWe'll be crossing the Styx!\"\n(I would rather arrive by Mercedes.)", "id": 22954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My American girlfriend is skittish,\nComplaining I often act twit-ish,\nAnd it's that puts her off.\nBloody hell! I'm a toff\u2014\nBut I fear she's become anti-British.", "id": 22955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "British English? For some it has class\nWhen a girl's not a chick, but alas,\nShe's a lass, or a bird,\nAnd I also have heard\nThey burn petrol in place of our gas.", "id": 22956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In London there was an old chap\nWho eschewed wine and whiskey.  \"They're crap!\nI prefer,\" he'd opine,\nAt age seventy-nine,\n\"Aqua pura; it comes from my tap.\"", "id": 22957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A blood groove is seen on a knife\nThat is useful in warfare and strife,\nAs some blood in the groove\nMakes it quick to remove\nAfter stabbing has ended a life.", "id": 22958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our bonfires climb high and burn bright,\nAnd their sparks, like the stars, light the night,\nAs the ashes of guys\nMake their way to the skies.\nEngland's Guy Fawkes Night's really a sight!", "id": 22959, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As nobility, boyars ranked high,\nBack in Russia, in days long gone by.\nBut 'twas crow that they ate\nUnder Peter the Great\nAs he forced them to eat humble pie.", "id": 22960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I played marbles with Jessica Lynn,\nAnd I wished her best cat's-eye I'd win.\nBut my aggie bounced high\u2014\nWhacked me right in the eye\u2014\nThen smacked Jessie Lynn on her chin!", "id": 22961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "\"That carcanet's gorgeous!\" I cried.\n\"I loved it the moment I spied\nIt there crowning her head\nWith its rubies of red!\nIf you buy me one, I'll be your bride!\"", "id": 22962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The carter turned into my drive.\nI was happy to see him arrive!\nHe delivered the thing\nThat I'd ordered last spring\u2014\nA new cart so my business could thrive!", "id": 22963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "With green wings underneath, tops of white,\nFrom my garden it rises, takes flight.\nWhat was resting on plants\nBut now seems to dance?\nCabbage butterfly shines in the light.", "id": 22965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The carillonneur rings the bells.\nThe music peals forth in great swells.\nAs I listen and walk,\nI think, if they could talk,\nThey might say, \"In this chapel, God dwells.\"", "id": 22966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My donkey has no time for play,\nSince he works at the bank every day.\nFor when folks must be sure\nIf they've fools' gold or pure,\nHe might stutter, but sure can assay.", "id": 22967, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "David Blaine was not just Drowned Alive;\nOne might say that his stunt's hype and jive.\nA magician who tries\nWeird escape acts, his size\nWas reduced forty pounds for his dive.", "id": 22968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Who's been  stealing these cheeses from me\u2014\nMy Stilton, my M\u00fcnster, my Brie?\nThe English scream, \"Vermin!\"\nDie M\u00e4use's the German,\nAnd a Frenchman would shriek, \"Les souris!\"", "id": 22969, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Some beetles live under a rock \u2014\nBut, when moved, it can cause quite a shock.\nCrawly bugs make me squirm,\nWhether insect or worm,\nAnd I hate to be near where they flock.", "id": 22970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bermuda shorts just reach the knees;\nIsland style's these shorts, long on ease.\nBut colonial ways\nAre less welcome these days,\nAnd long pants are more apt to please.", "id": 22972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "My flowers must always smell sweet:\nLovely scents for my garden retreat.\nI have no pressing wish\nTo sniff aminoid fish,\nOr worst of all: indole \u2014 dead meat!", "id": 22973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Albania, Land of the Eagles\n(A quite different place from Meg Beagle's).\nOn the blue Adriatic\nIt's undemocratic,\nSince beards make their owners illegals.", "id": 22974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our bombastic Brit billionaire Blomm backs\nA scheme to \"get peasants off Pom backs\".\nTo fulfil farming needs,\nHe's now shipping them seeds\nOf the silk-cotton tree, the bold bombax.", "id": 22975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester and Chris Young", "limerick": "I've blasphemed: my late grandmother's home\nBoasts a statue of Christ (brought from Rome).\nAs a statement, it's bold,\nSo, to get the house sold,\nI have dressed up Our Lord as a gnome.", "id": 22976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Our high school production of Hair\nWas stopped on account of Aunt Clare.\nShe yelled, \"Blasphemy! Blasphemy!\nThat's way too much ass fuh me!\"\nAnd the cast found it too much to bear.", "id": 22977, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The blenny's a fish that is blenniid,\nThis suffix referring, like any -id,\nTo family links \u2014\nBlennioidei, methinks,\nThe blennioids' two-for-a-penny -id.", "id": 22978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The wool of the yak is the best,\nBut the carders are very hard-pressed.\nThey must know when to stop,\nOr in summer they'll drop,\nWrestling yak-carder card-yak arrest.", "id": 22979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Folks who give and forget I call blessed.\n(Bums who take and forget I detest.)\nSouls whose kinda kind deeds\nServe their hedge-heaven needs\nMay be blessed, but I'm much less impressed.", "id": 22980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our punkie crop's shrunk! He \u2014 the monkey,\nThat spunky grey punk \u2014 he has slunk! He\nIs quick, and too slick\nFor the calabash trick!\nIt is bunk! He's no flunky to punkie!", "id": 22981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "He's a bobachee, bobarchee, bobajee,\nSo even a word-stealing slob ajee\nWould have to work hard\nIf he tried to discard\nAll the names of this cook at a hob ajee.", "id": 22982, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Wounded Joe wore a bowyang or two\nOn each leg (as Australians do).\nCloth or leather, it makes\nAussie shins safe from snakes \u2014\nNot the claws of a cross kangaroo.", "id": 22983, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Walker Pasta\": a diet that bridges\nThe pitfalls of fat would-be midges.\nFor obesity's beefiness\nTo turn to light leafiness,\nJust Walker right Pasta da fridges.", "id": 22984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The Canadians (English and French)\nHave inherited fists that still clench,\nSince their forebears' wild rages\nHave needed, for ages,\nAn ocean-filled boundary trench.", "id": 22985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I've a tragic and true tale to tell\nOf a mouse (now avenged) burned to hell.\nThe poor bastard who did it\nLost house just to rid it\nOf mouse who, in flames, spread them well.", "id": 22986, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Belle believable? No! Now they sue her\nFor scurrilous scams \u2014 and they boo her.\nHer invisible paints\nCaused indignant complaints\nWhen her victims began to see through her.", "id": 22988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ambiguity's something we brook,\nFor our brains are not easily shook.\nLook at look and see see:\nWe all know that when we\nOversee, we do not overlook.", "id": 22990, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Flustered golfer to son: \"As a caddy,\nYou're the worst in the universe, laddie!\"\nFeisty son with sly glee:\n\"No, I think that would be\nMuch too great a coincidence, Daddy.\"", "id": 22991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Clever kids are now put through a hoop\nOn TV, spelling words like recoup.\nThere is one pushy mummy\nWhose letter-crazed dummy\nIs forced to drink alphabet soup.", "id": 22992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Old King Cole's silly gossipy vassal\nHas caused in the castle huge hassle.\nAlas, he's now dead,\nAnd bereft of his head,\nFor the dolt carried news to Cole Castle.", "id": 22993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I am sorely bereft of elation\nTo find I'm defining causation.\nNo philosopher, I'd\nPrefer spears in my side.\nThe causation? Elation's negation.", "id": 22994, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though we bought our young Jo no bouquet\nWhen she gave up on school and ballet,\nAnd her acts in the circus,\nOn elephants, irk us,\nWe won't try to stand in her way.", "id": 22995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Most conspire to acquire and retire.\nSome aspire to inspire and expire.\nA few I admire\nLive alert and afire\nWith desire to perspire and enquire.", "id": 22996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "\"You need therapy, gran,\" we all told her,\n\"Angel therapy\" \u2014 and we enrolled her.\nNow she's got her own herald\nAnd banters with Gerald\n(The cute little guy on her shoulder).", "id": 22997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "A stay-at-home-soldier is he,\nA carpet-knight, all would agree.\nHis achievements aren't those\nThat involve killing foes,\nBut he sure makes a fine cup of tea!", "id": 22998, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "So your creditor wants a deposit?\nWell, you have that Monet in your closet...\nJust sell it and pay \u2014\nBad-debt art, all the way.\nNow that wasn't so difficult, was it?", "id": 22999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "There's a legacy due from my aunt.\nShe's alive; can I spend it? I can't,\nSo to hasten the day,\nI will forward her way\nA gigantic carnivorous plant.", "id": 23000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"I'm stumped,\" Dr. Watson said. \"Yellow?\nFor a door? And canary's not mellow.\nHolmes \u2014 give me a clue\nTo your choice of that hue.\"\n\"Lemon entry, you see, my dear fellow.\"", "id": 23001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Said the surgeon in theatre one day,\n\"All you students, heed well what I say;\nSee that cancerous lump?\n(Pass my scalpel, you chump!):\nNow the tumour is all cut away\".", "id": 23003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "At the government agent's behest,\nWe paid taxes on Grandpa's bequest.\nHis enormous bequeathal\nTurned out to be lethal\u2014\nThe heirs got three-quarters at best!", "id": 23004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the pedant, it's open and shut\nAnd a case that's as dried as it's cut:\nA conjunction should not\nStart a sentence! Eh, what?\nGet your head, buddy, out of your but!", "id": 23005, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "See the despot as bad news breaks out!\nHe goes red as the tongue-twanging shout\nAnd the swear-blaring spit\nOf his hair-tearing fit\nBuild a scream-frenzy, mat-munching bout.", "id": 23006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Aberdeenshire, as far as I've seen,\nHas a county-town called Aberdeen.\nAnd for all this is worth:\nIt's like Perthshire and Perth \u2014\nUnlike Rutland (nudge, know what I mean?).", "id": 23007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Ahem! May I have your attention?\nDon't sit on those cacti. I'll mention\nThis now, 'fore you find\nA quite tender behind\nWith more pricks than a lawyers' convention.", "id": 23008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A boomtown's a center of trade\nThat is growing, though soon it may fade,\nAnd all over the nation\nHas this reputation:\nA place where a buck may be made.", "id": 23009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Mother's birth pangs and womb-water loss\nMean it's started! Now midwife is boss.\nQueasy dad, crushed cigar,\nOne more push \u2014 there you are!\nBaby wonderful, crumpled and cross.", "id": 23011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A food-business chemist named Paul\nSuffered stomach-aches giant and small.\nHe brewed up a drink\nMade with spearmint and zinc;\nSaid, \"This betterment benefits all.\"", "id": 23012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Isaac Asimov, author prolific,\nWith writer's block never had diffic-\nult problems at all.\nHe would endlessly scrawl\nFact and fiction (not all scientific).", "id": 23013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I had thrown a few thou in the pot;\nFrom the split \u2014 3-for-1's what I got.\nNo, I don't need thermometers\nOr market barometers\nTo know it's unbearably hot!", "id": 23014, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A con man named Theodore Crunk\nWatched a retailer flail like a drunk.\nSo the business got scammed;\nHe was sure (or be damned)\nThat the biz mark was gonna be sunk.", "id": 23015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"This game of croquet is absurd,\"\nSaid my wife. \"I've a game that's preferred.\"\nSo she put up a net,\nGot the badminton set,\nRaised a racquet and whacked it\u2014the bird.", "id": 23016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In bridge-building don't you go wrong.\nBuild foundations; the river is strong.\nIn this room you will spot 'em:\nThe men dig the bottom;\nThe caissons go roiling along.", "id": 23017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A crystal, though small and demure,\nHad been chosen, because it was pure,\nTo descend with a flair\nTo the ground at Times Square.\n'Twas a big-time engagement, for sure.", "id": 23018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Amelanchier's a wonderful shrub,\nBut don't plant one \u2014 I'm telling you, bub,\nThe juneberry's so sweet\nTo the birds, that they'll eat\nEvery tender shoot down to a nub.", "id": 23019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Dancer Tanya said, \"Lately it feels\nI'm an instrument, head to my heels\n(A string 'here', two strings 'there').\"\nAnd then she, with a flair,\nMoved her balalaika bucket of eels.", "id": 23020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When re-entry from space was at stake,\nThe craft pulled along in its wake\nA bizarre parachute-\nlike balloon called ballute\nThat scooped rarefied air, played the brake.", "id": 23021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "As a smoker I never get bored;\nI have hundreds of pipes in my hoard.\nAs I tidily wipe\nMy best calabash pipe\nI decide that I'm out of my gourd.", "id": 23022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bobby-dazzlers bedazzle most Bobbies,\nPlus Christophers, Richards, and Robbies.\nThey're radiant girls,\nCutely dressed \u2014 some with curls \u2014\nWho will often write \"Men\" under \"Hobbies\".", "id": 23023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My girlfriend, how can I persuade 'er\nI'm really the famed Caped Crusader?\nI said, \"Come and visit\nMy cave; it's exquisite\"\u2014\nThe offer, though, somehow dismayed 'er.", "id": 23024, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Those observers who work on the Hubble come\nTo develop strange thoughts that can trouble some:\nFrom the Big Bang till now\nThings expanded, but how?\nIs the universe string? Or just bubble gum?", "id": 23025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Arrowroot vermicelli noodles:\nI buy them in bulk for my poodles.\nIt's their daily delight,\nAnd there's lots left at night,\nWhen I bring home my kitten caboodles.", "id": 23026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Alternativeness of abode\nHas long been my natural mode.\nI'm found far and nigh\nIn climes wet and dry.\nI move around freely: I'm toad.", "id": 23027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A painstaking fellow named Frye\nWould not let an error slip by.\nHis care was fantastic:\nAsked, \"Paper or plastic?\"\nHe took seven weeks to reply.", "id": 23028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,\nWas attacked by a cayman that ate 'er.\nSaid her trainer, \"Tough deal!\nWhat a horrible meal\u2014\nWe should throw it some greens and potater.\"", "id": 23029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In a theater, way up on high,\nIs the catwalk, where stagehands pass by\nAs they wait for a sign\nThat it's set-changing time.\nIf they fall, you can tell them good-bye!", "id": 23030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "'Twas at Golgotha, Calvary's hill,\nThat Jesus accomplished God's will.\nThere He died long ago,\nSo His love I would know;\nIt's the \"place of the skull\", holy still.", "id": 23031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A chameleon turns green, brown, or blue.\nA moth can have camouflage too.\nTo match what's surrounding\nIs really astounding\u2014\nI wish I could do it. Don't you?", "id": 23032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the area Mediterranean,\nA burial place subterranean\nIs a site called a catacomb.\nI wonder, is that a home\nA necrophobe might just go zany in?", "id": 23034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "November is coming on soon,\nChanting autumn's funereal tune.\nAs October lies dying,\nI gaze at geese flying,\nTheir stark silhouettes 'gainst the moon.", "id": 23035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Unequalled in fragrance and flavor,\nBasmati's a rice diners savor.\nAn Indian korma\nIs never pro forma;\nThis dish with this rice curries favor.", "id": 23036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Thirteen anapests laid end-to-end\nForm a limerick. Heaven forfend\nWe'll be wasting our time\nMaking everything rhyme!\nObsession's not far round the bend...", "id": 23037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Kathy's bitchiness, which is routine,\nMakes her cattiness easily seen.\nShe's spiteful, malicious,\nExceedingly vicious,\nAnd back-stabbing, hair-pulling mean.", "id": 23038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though the coopered madeira is young,\nCaptain Hook tries to auger a bung\nWith a bitbrace. His grip\nOn the bitstock might slip,\nBecause drool's running off of his tongue.", "id": 23039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "This month had a full, then a new;\nNow a second full moon comes in view.\nAs a metaphor there\nFor the odd and the rare,\nThis moon we refer to as blue.", "id": 23040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Every bioastronomy geek\nIs an exobiology freak;\nIs there life way out there?\nIs it blue? Does it care\nThat our astrobiology's weak?", "id": 23041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When we run out of acres down here,\nWe might move to a big Bernal sphere.\nIt's a pretty huge place,\nAnd there's oodles of space\nOut in space (at least that's what I hear).", "id": 23042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For a non-slipping loop, in a jiff,\nWith a bowline I tie up my skiff.\nAs a Scout, I grandstanded\nAnd tied one one-handed\nWhile dangling off of a cliff.", "id": 23043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Use the number that's named for Alfv\u00e9n\nTo make sense of the plasma domain.\nWhen the value is low,\nExpect laminar flow.\nWhen it's higher, see turbulence reign.", "id": 23044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the bittacle's candle is lit,\nYou can see where its compass should sit.\nThat you failed to equip\nSuch a case on your ship\nMade your helmsman declare you a twit.", "id": 23045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "The peer Brummel met on the Row\nHad the corpulent Regent in tow.\nCoolly keeping his head\nWhen the Prince cut him dead,\n\"Milord, who's your fat friend?\" queried Beau.", "id": 23046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Supercontinents' fate is excision,\nSo Rodinia suffered division;\nAway Baltica flew\nLike a low-scudding mew,\nAnd at present is almost Parisian.", "id": 23047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You can choose any book that you fancy \u2014\nThe Bible, Charles Dickens, Tom Clancy.\nNow pick any section,\nBy random selection,\nAnd your future's just bibliomancy.", "id": 23048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There are sparks when I take off my sweater,\nTouch a door knob or open a letter.\nI'd be happy if I\nWeren't a highly charged guy\u2014\nI just know antistatic is better.", "id": 23049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Did we leave other primates behind\nWhen we lost our bicameral mind?\nAsymmetrically deft,\nInto houses we're cleft,\nAnd in each, different treasures can find.", "id": 23050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Her berceuse lulls our baby to sleep,\nAnd its melody reaches so deep\nThat I yearn for my wife\nAnd a lullaby life,\nAnd I grieve that this moment won't keep.", "id": 23053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Don't give me none of your lip.\nSay nothing, say nada, say zip.\nDon't give me no flack\nAnd don't answer back,\nOr I'll take off your hide with my whip.", "id": 23054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "While a beam splitter's cost can be dear,\nWhat it's for isn't perfectly clear.\nIt provides a new path\nUsing light-fingered math,\nAnd you hope that it might interfere.", "id": 23055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If an atom decays every second,\nThe amount of your sample is reckoned\nA single becquerel,\nAnd each immature cell\nShould be wary of samples more fecund.", "id": 23056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"Immortality Ore\" is a crock;\nSimple tellurides won't stop the clock.\nThere's no fountain of youth.\nYou had best face the truth\nThat bezsmertnovite's nothing but rock.", "id": 23057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An arachnid's abdominal nook\nCan have lungs made of leaves like a book.\nMaybe eight, maybe two \u2014\nI'll leave counting to you.\nAs for me, I'm too squeamish to look.", "id": 23058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm too stupid to see any flaws\nIn these new metaphysical laws.\nFor the structure of space\nAnd the look on my face,\nA p-brane's the root and the cause.", "id": 23059, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "These grammatical errors betoken\nYour struggle where English is spoken.\nYou're a lexical gimp\n'Cause you talk with a limp.\nYour speech isn't fixed, so it's broken.", "id": 23060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A brownie's a mischievous sprite,\nThough he helps while we're sleeping at night.\nLeave him food every day,\nBut don't offer to pay\nOr he'll angrily answer the slight.", "id": 23061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When your car requires bulletproof glass,\nYou expect to be pushing up grass.\nSoon enough they'll get in\nWhen defenses grow thin,\nAnd you don't have a bulletproof ass.", "id": 23062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "From his speech, he's no man of the cloth.\nHe's become most exceedingly wroth\nAs each bug in his code\nJeers a maddening ode\nTo the myth that it came from a moth.", "id": 23063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A binomial, I can discuss:\nWe marry two terms with no fuss.\nThe statistics profession\nCombines this expression\nIn forms guaranteed to nonplus.", "id": 23064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Up on top, it's a kind of a hummock,\nBut below, it hangs down like my stomach.\nMetal hulls pay a price\nUnderneath polar ice\nWhen a submarine bumps on a bummock.", "id": 23065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I am startled, while hiking the Brocken,\nAt the specter, it seems, of a kraken!\nBrightly haloed on cloud,\nShadowed arms in a crowd \u2014\nJust like me, it is jumpin' and rockin'!", "id": 23066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Our campouts are brief overnighters.\nWhen butane escapes from our lighters,\nIts four-carbon chain\nServes a crafty campaign:\nWe adore meeting manly fire-fighters.", "id": 23067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An androchore hatches a plan:\nFor dispersal, it leans upon Man.\nIsn't barnyard grass nice?\nA dead ringer for rice!\nSo we plant it as fast as we can.", "id": 23068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A priest, making sausage in haste,\nFell in, and was ground to a paste.\nThough once a fine fella,\nHe's now mortadella,\nAnd beckons to catholic taste.", "id": 23069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Anno Mundi's the age of the world\nFor believers whose science is furled\nIn a Biblical shroud.\nThey're a literal crowd;\nTheir position is fetally curled.", "id": 23070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The string theory's extra dimensions\nAssail me with strong apprehensions,\nBut they all find a place\nIn Calabi-Yau space,\nWhich is one of our weirdest inventions.", "id": 23071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When craters disfigure terrain,\nAt times they align in a chain.\nIn the crater arena,\nA chain's a catena.\nThe causes? Mundane to arcane.", "id": 23072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since the chair bottoms' weaving is straining\nUnder oversized butts, they're complaining,\nBut my chairs need to know\nProper discipline, so\nThey will all undergo a good caning.", "id": 23073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Schiaparelli began the confusion,\nAnd Lowell's response was delusion.\nThere's Martian canali?\nThe people must rally!\nInvasion \u2014 a foregone conclusion.", "id": 23074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Why is cantaloupe-textured terrain\nSo unique to this frigid domain?\nWill the cavi shed light on\nThe nature of Triton?\nWill pits be the pits to explain?", "id": 23075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Once I'd shuffled the deck, slightly frantic,\nMystic May worked her art cartomantic:\n\"The ace of clubs dealt,\nTo my trained eye, has spelt\nThat your true love is, frankly, gigantic.\"", "id": 23076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In Muzak, the Stones are recast\nAs recycled old rock from the past.\nIn breccia, the game\nIs precisely the same,\nAnd each sharp jagged piece is a clast.", "id": 23077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An anemochore values your sneeze:\nTiny diaspores waft on the breeze,\nAnd wherever wind's blowing\nThey land and start growing.\nThat's good (though my lawn disagrees).", "id": 23079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Dense castable often is cast\nWhere a bustle main carries the blast\nIn its hellish career\nThrough each water-cooled tuy\u00e8re\nTo a bosh, where the iron flows fast.", "id": 23080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When the skater named Dorothy Hamill\nPerformed her eponymous camel\nAt Innsbruck's Olympics,\nI grooved on the slim pix\nThat Neiman had drawn in enamel.", "id": 23081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "It was dairy theft in the extreme;\nClever cats were involved in the scheme.\nDetectives spent time\nAt the scene of the crime,\nBut there wasn't a sign of the cream.", "id": 23082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Last night I lay half cataleptic,\nIn fact I don't think that I slept (tick);\nFor my clock in the dark (tick)\nWould, too audibly, mark (tick)\nHow the seconds inexorably crept (tick).", "id": 23083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "There was an old man with a beard\nWho said, \"It is just as I feared:\nThe owls and the wren,\nThe larks and the hen\nCaught bird flu. They've all disappeared.\"", "id": 23084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The delicacy known as a blin\nIs a pancake, of buckwheat, and thin,\n(The plural I've seen is\nEither blini or blinis),\nAnd it's filled with sour cream, folded in.", "id": 23085, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "There was a young lady of York\nWho fell prey, on a bird-watching walk,\nTo a randy old twitcher\nWho proceeded to ditch her:\nThe next bird she saw was the stork.", "id": 23086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "When Franco became El Caudillo,\nAs ruler of Spain, in the geo-\npolitical scene he\nLiked both Mussolini\nAnd Hitler \u2014 a horrible trio.", "id": 23087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The warmth of the day, it is dwindling,\nAnd (whether by begging or swindling)\nSome way I'll be havin'\nTo get me a bavin\n(A bundle of brush used for kindling).", "id": 23088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I got home on my bike, hot and flushed,\nWith my hair in a mess, my clothes crushed;\nBut, more than delighted,\nMy wife was excited\u2014\nShe likes me windswept, not airbrushed.", "id": 23089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "All my life, I have not understood\nHow to tell a bum deal from a good.\nWith each scheme I devise\nI get stars in my eyes\nAnd say, \"This couldn't fail!\"\u2014but it could.", "id": 23090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "When the flagship was sunk in a squall,\nDeath united the great and the small.\nTheir distinctions were purged\nAs each head was submerged\u2014\nIn the end, one capsize did for all.", "id": 23091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "A sheep is a fool you can fleece;\nSaucy monkeys are hard to police;\nFrom a horse you may get\nA well-trained pirouette,\nBut you can't match a goat for caprice.", "id": 23092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "I connected air travel with danger\nTill I went to the head-rearranger.\nNow I'll climb in a box\nAnd, strapped down, under locks,\nPut my life in the hands of a stranger.", "id": 23093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "To Las Vegas there'd been many trips,\nBut it's time now to cash in his chips.\nHaving lost what he owed,\nHe's transgressed the mob's code,\nAnd his creditors don't indulge slips.", "id": 23094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "So this Mafia guy urges, \"Hon,\nC'mon, try this pastry\u2014just one!\"\nBut I eye his cannoli\nAnd shake my head slowly:\n\"No, thank you; I'll just take the gun.\"", "id": 23096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "A Boston fan shares his beliefs:\n\"I think pitchers who throw as reliefs\nShould always wear boxers\nOr boxer briefs; Sox, sirs,\nCan't cotton to just plain old briefs.\"", "id": 23097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Yes, I can set those cans at the curb\nAnd can can hired hands, name of Herb.\nBut to dance the French cancan?\nThat's something a man can\nDo only when drunk or on herb.", "id": 23099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Once called Albyn by Celtics of old,\nNow it's Scotland (the Highlands still hold\nThat name), but till Caesar\n(If you get a brain-teaser)\nAll of Britain was called that, I'm told.", "id": 23100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's beneath me to comment on that\n(Since noblesse keeps this mess 'neath our hat).\nThere'll be sharp news decreases,\nWith no press releases;\nJust blackouts: we're all standing pat.", "id": 23107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a serum-filled sac in my shoulder\nThat bothers me now that I'm older.\nDespite three physicians,\nThis bursal condition's\nGot worse since the weather's been colder.", "id": 23108, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "To the Luddite librarian, Hughie,\nComputerized data is screwy.\nCard catalogues thrill him\u2014\nTheir cubbyholes fill him\nWith longing: his eyes become Dewey.", "id": 23109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "That play about crapshooting's nice\u2014\nI've already been to it twice.\nThe actors are droll!\nYou'll be certain to roll\nIn the aisles at the cast of The Dice.", "id": 23110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Your dotage, my dear, is distressing;\nYour deafness is clearly progressing.\nI wanted a nut\nWith a kidney-shaped cut\nWhen I hollered \"cashew!\" \u2014 not your blessing.", "id": 23111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The carbuncles purchased by us\nHave created a welter of fuss.\nWhen we signed for them, darn it!\nFound nary a garnet,\nJust abscesses oozing with pus.", "id": 23112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "In August, the magpie began\nTo develop his stockpiling plan.\nAll that sparkled or shined\nTo his hoard he assigned:\nIn his business, it's cache as cache can.", "id": 23113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "After five or six glasses of scotch,\nI bend over, and rip! goes my crotch.\nSo I mend where it's split\nUsing gum, but admit\nA more accurate verb would be botch.", "id": 23115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Old Angus MacDougal is thin,\nBut he's sporting a new double-chin.\nA surgeon, it seems,\nBuilt the chin of his dreams\nWith a blype. (It's a wee piece of skin.)", "id": 23117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My party's convening a caucus:\nWe'll meet, and the leaders will talk us\nTo tears. Such a forum\nMay call for decorum,\nBut mostly they're nasty and raucous.", "id": 23118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As a speaker, I sometimes attempt\nA technique that my mom never dreamt\nThat her dear baby boy\nWould be heard to employ....\n(Please forgive me. I'm getting verklempt.)", "id": 23119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "At my house\u2014I mean, crib\u2014I relax\nPlaying licks on my air guitar axe.\nI'm one of those schmendricks\nWho imitate Hendrix\n(Or Coltrane, on air tenor sax).", "id": 23120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The professional canitist knows\nDying hair is a job for the pros.\nIf the color is off,\nOther women will scoff,\nWhich is good to avoid, I suppose.", "id": 23121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The suspension beneath this new pram\nIs equipped with a shaft and a cam\nThat cause back-and-forth motion\nLike waves on the ocean,\nWhich babies might like\u2014if they swam!", "id": 23122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Ship's orders: \"Attack without fear!\"\nSaid our captain: \"A taxi's out here?\"\nCap's deaf as a post,\nSo we scour the coast \u2014\nWe need help from a good privateer.", "id": 23123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "It's a game for the elderly set\nOr an over-used name for a pet\nOr a term heard in Scrabble.\nBut yelled by the rabble\nIt's Yes! Now you have it! You bet!", "id": 23124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Strolin's Mother, a painting I've done\nAfter Whistler, I'm sorry, has none\nOf its model's allure,\nSo I signed it \"From your,\nI admit, unoriginal son.\"", "id": 23126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "For a gun, these are terms I will teach:\nFirst the barrel and bore, then the breech,\nWhile the buttstock comes last\u2014\nYou are catching on fast.\nAlso learn to keep guns out of reach.", "id": 23127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Brownies, as cute as can be,\nAre our Girl Scouts, grade one to grade three.\nBeing young, they're still rookies\nAt selling their cookies.\nS'mores are the best ones, to me.", "id": 23128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A dwarf bent on saving his neck\nLeaves from Prague on a perilous trek.\nTo a man loading casks\nAt a truck stop, he asks,\n\"Tell me, sir, can you cache a small Czech?\"", "id": 23129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It was clear that my life needed centering.\nI needed strict discipline, mentoring.\nBut with no help for me,\nThe result: B & E,\nOr in other words, breaking and entering.", "id": 23130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've provided my birdie a billet.\nThere's a tray in this cage, and I fill it\nEach morning with seeds,\nSo my parakeet feeds\nOn his thistle, canola, and millet.", "id": 23131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A blue-sky report?  Here's the thing:\nIt's a hope to which optimists cling.\nEven they will allow\nIt's not possible now.\nStill...  who knows what tomorrow will bring?", "id": 23133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's the nicest of uncles in Nice\nWho enjoys finding rocks by caprice.\nWhen he chances on slices\nOf granites and gneisses,\nHe sends all his nieces a piece.", "id": 23134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet\nPortrayed a bourgeois proletariat\nWith a pop singer son.\nIt was no #1,\nBut no show in its time slot could bury it.", "id": 23135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's no telling what art lies ahead\nNow the new with the old's interbred.\nWe see animatronics\nCombine electronics\nWith puppetry, magically wed.", "id": 23136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "The party who promised a crackdown\nOn crooks now explain that's a track down\nWhich we shouldn't go,\nBut they'd like you to know\nThat it's not in the slightest a backdown.", "id": 23137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The date that a product's best used by\nIs something I'm often confused by.\nIf I eat stuff too late,\nWill slow death be my fate?\nThat's a prospect I'm not much enthused by.", "id": 23138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "We rolled right off the dock in the dark\nWhich then led the state cop to remark,\n\"Amomaxia, son,\nIs more properly done\nWhen you first put your car into park.\"", "id": 23139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"You've got way too much crap in this kitchen!\nLike this bacon press\u2014I say we pitch in\nTogether and throw\nOut whatever can go.\"\n\"But it helps bacon cook.  Quit yer bitchin'!\"", "id": 23140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A battlewagon, that is a name\nFor a battleship, warship of fame,\nThat is heavily armed.\nI'll admit I'm more charmed\nWhen my kids play a Battleship game.", "id": 23141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Take pity on poor Richard Randall.\nHis fever soared, too hot to handle,\nBut the worst part was when Dick's\nPutrescent appendix\nBlew up like a foul Roman candle.", "id": 23142, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the window the calico lies;\nShe's the cat with the clear amber eyes.\nShe responds with a purr\nAs I stroke her warm fur,\nHer harlequin patchwork disguise.", "id": 23143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "My bursa blew up; hurt so bad\nThat I overcame fear and I had\nThe doctor both drain it\nAnd (let him explain it):\n\"Shoot cortisone there\u2014just a tad.\"", "id": 23144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In this drawing I made of our sister,\nThe ink and its color are bistre,\nTransparent and brown\nFrom her eyes to her gown,\nWith a stain where the artisan kissed her.", "id": 23145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "No, the apple (a fruit) can't give milk\n(Just as cattle will not produce silk).\nApple butter is made\nWhen they're chopped and pureed \u2014\nAs with peanuts, and things of that ilk.", "id": 23146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Cancel it! Scratch the whole thing!\nIt's of nullness and voidness I sing.\nLet it drop like a stone \u2014\nAnd I don't mean \"postpone.\"\nCall it off, brother. Take back the ring.", "id": 23147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Arabian jasmine's the scent\nThat I wear to a special event.\nNot just known for its smell,\nIt makes great tea as well.\nThink I'll plant some right here, near my tent!", "id": 23148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Her cadging she wears like a badge.\nShe's a moocher, my dear cousin Madge.\nNow she's \"borrowed\" my sable,\nMy laptop, my table,\nAnd she also taught me how to cadge!", "id": 23149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The giant Goliath achieved\nA height of nine feet, it's believed.\nBut young Dave, with his sling,\nAchieved much for his king\nWhen Goliath's huge head he retrieved.", "id": 23150, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "An asylee is one who has fled\nFrom his country of birth, full of dread.\nFear of bodily harm\nWas a cause for alarm.\nNow he's found peace and freedom instead.", "id": 23151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A caramel apple's a treat,\nAnd caramel nougats are sweet.\nThis burnt-sugar candy\nIs just fine and dandy,\nBut it sticks to my teeth when I eat!", "id": 23152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "He's cheerful and happy! He's canty,\nThough he lives in a tar paper shanty.\nWhat's the reason for this\nUnequivocal bliss?\nHe's been willed some 2 mils from his Aunty.", "id": 23153, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "When my car quit on Route 98\nI decided it must have been fate:\nWith no call box in sight\nIn the darkness of night,\n'Twas the first time I'd had a blind date!", "id": 23154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When Rodrigo the Borgia barged in\nAnd with bribery fashioned his win,\nMore than gluttonous pride\nOr a piece on the side,\nHis election was cardinal sin.", "id": 23155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A B-tree's a structure for data\nWhere leaf nodes are all in a strata.\nWhen push comes to shove,\nEvery node that's above\nIs compelled to have children pro rata.", "id": 23156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With this ink, all the marks you have made\nWill not yellow, and never will fade.\nThough its brown is just soot,\nBister stays where it's put.\nAs a wash, you can alter your shade.", "id": 23157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Blaauw mechanism can tell\nHow a binary's stars say farewell,\nWhen their gravity's grip\nComes to falter and slip\nAfter one of them blows off a shell.", "id": 23158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "A banana should come with a zipper.\nIt's appealing and makes us feel chipper.\nBut it sure seems a sin\nWhen Ma Fate takes the skin\nAnd then transforms it into a slipper.", "id": 23159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "He's working for me and for you\nIn a job that the locals won't do;\nHe's that guy at the store\nWho's employed while-U-snore\u2014\nSpringfield's Kwik-E-Mart owner, Apu.", "id": 23160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The bride woke with great apprehension.\nSaid the bell boy beside, \"I should mention\nThat before his drunk fall\nYour new husband did call\u2014\nHe said, 'Give my sweet special attention.'\"", "id": 23161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a young plumber of Reading,\nWho arrived with blotched skin at his wedding:\n\"I'm sorry,\" he said,\n\"If my face is all red,\nIt's because of the lyes folks are spreading.\"", "id": 23162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The blow torch or blowlamp's amazing\nFor soldering, melting, or brazing,\nBut I heard from the Sarge\nThat it's thought by and large\nTo be \"over the top\" for a hazing.", "id": 23163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A call-center worker named Ray\nFound a Bangalore bride just last May:\nHe gave her a kiss,\nThen declared, \"Wedded bliss\u2014\nI've just outsourced my in-laws away!\"", "id": 23164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A lady named Eleanor Mackie\nSaid, \"Isn't society wacky?\nBrass trimmings, I'm told,\nAre much cheaper than gold,\nBut they're really not nearly as tacky.\"", "id": 23167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I fondly recall Uncle Jake\nAnd the balsa wood planes that he'd make.\nHe had always a smile\nAnd a chisel or file\u2014\nLet's hope Folsom allows him this cake.", "id": 23168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Long ago, back in ancient Cathay\n(That's the place we call China today),\nThe life of a peasant\nWas rather unpleasant.\nAnd the emperor's? Major partay!", "id": 23169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "pundita", "limerick": "If you want to insult with panache,\nHorsey names can quite often sound brash.\nForget \"donkey\" or \"mule\";\nDon't try \"jackass\"; it's cruel.\nDrawl out \"a-si-nine.\" You'll make a splash.", "id": 23170, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and Graham Lester", "limerick": "If Tinkerbell's mom tells her fairy tales,\nDo hairdressers tell their kids hairy tales?\nDo vampires tell scary tales?\nDo grizzlies tell beary tales?\nDo Guernseys with calves tell them dairy tales?", "id": 23171, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "You'll enjoy capybaras to eat;\nVenezuelans proclaim them a treat.\nThose of Catholic bent\nMay consume them for Lent\nIf a fine rodent burger's their meat.", "id": 23172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I wake up to a high whiney buzz;\nIt's a sound that I dread. What it does\nIs to jolt me awake\u2014\nThe mosquito's mistake.\nHe's a goner, an insect that was.", "id": 23173, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Can't sleep? Have some camomile tea.\nIt will soothe you and then you will be\nAll ready for slumber,\nNo stress  to encumber\nDescent into sleep, as you'll see.", "id": 23174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "To play serious bridge you must know\nAll the rules and conventions, and go\nTo competitive games\nWhere everyone blames\nTheir partners when good hands they blow.", "id": 23175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Set A to set B said: \"B, let's\nTry and see what our pairing begets.\"\nThe product created\nSince these two were mated?\nCartesian! Oh, joy of sets!", "id": 23176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "When watching a live armadillo\nIn the plains, by the trunk of a willow,\nIts resemblance, I'm frank,\nIs more to a tank\nThan something that's soft like a pillow.", "id": 23177, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "An aerogramme: oh, how exciting!\nI'm up in the air, like her writing.\nHer letter on wings\nIs promising things,\nAnd it's plain to see what she's inviting...", "id": 23178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "In Amersfoort (where they speak Dutch),\nThe guides tend to talk overmuch.\nThey talk about gates\nAnd mountains of crates\nFor flowers like nonesuch and such.", "id": 23179, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "New Bonapartism around\n1850 in Europe was found:\nThe old Emperor's glory\nNow gilt the bad story\nOf millions of dead in the ground.", "id": 23181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The highest cathedral (so pretty!)\nYou'll find in Amiens, fine French city.\nOne (later Saint) Martin\nHere cleft his cloak, partin'\nTo clothe a cold beggar in pity.", "id": 23182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "You should visit Amboise (it's not far),\nA small town and ch\u00e2teaux, reached by car\u2014\nYou can't miss it for sure\u2014\nFrom the city of Tours\nOn the banks of the river named Loire.", "id": 23183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"I'm Mabel; I'm willing; I'm able,\"\nSaid the girl, seeming somewhat unstable,\n\"We may do it at will\nWhere you'll get the best thrill:\nOn the floor, on the roof, or the table.\"", "id": 23184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "From the Persian world taken\u2014there are\nNarrow streets often called a bazaar,\nIf they're crowded with shops,\nOffering tops amongst flops:\nReal Rolex and gewgaw guitar!", "id": 23185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's no method perfecting one's skill,\nBut a hand-driven portable drill.\nIt is held firmly pressed, till\nYou've bored with your breast drill\nA hole with a dowel to fill.", "id": 23186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once a flourishing harbour, well known,\nGave its name to that sea of its own,\nTween Italo-Albanian\nMediterranean\nCoasts\u2014now it's inland, alone.", "id": 23187, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "My wahine is gorgeous\u2014Amen!\n(Though her island's a little too zen,\nBeing low, long and narrow.)\nShe's hot to her marrow\u2014\nI call her my lovely cayenne.", "id": 23188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Books, books, books: that is all he will buy.\nFor the rare ones, he rather would die\nThan give others a chance\nTo get more than a glance:\nHe's a bibliomaniac guy.", "id": 23189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "To get lignite (some call it brown coal),\nThey use bucket-wheels carving a hole\nInto former times' wood\nTo be burnt up for good\u2014\nBut pollution is hard to control.", "id": 23190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Second oldest of Germany's towns,\nOnce a Roman camp founded on grounds\nNear the Lechfeld, flat valley,\nFrom Augsburg, an alley\nWhere noise of old battles resounds.", "id": 23191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Bavaria (shorter: BY)\nIs a state that's in German called frei.\nDon't know why any Bayer\nFeels he's a bit freier\u2014\nA statement I strictly deny.", "id": 23192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Big problems if food-needs surpass\nOur earth's agricultural mass.\nA true revolution\nWas dung's substitution:\nFritz Haber made bread from a gas!", "id": 23193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Michael Faraday's lectures won't dandle\nYoung people, but help them to handle,\nIn practice, the trick\nThat is  done by the wick\nWhen we light up a stick of a candle.", "id": 23194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "An eye for an eye and a tooth\nFor a tooth show old laws' simple truth:\nThat no punishment be\nMore severe than how we\nWith our crimes have been wrong or uncouth.", "id": 23195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Karl's technical interest? It hails\nFrom his dad, engineer on the rails.\nFormer Karlsruher student,\nBenz built, rather prudent,\nHis motors in tricycles' tails.", "id": 23196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "It's oft thought a nice greenish-blue,\nUnless this should happen to you:\nFrom shipboard cuisine,\nA(n aqua) marine\nGot too sick to continue to crew.", "id": 23197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Kevin Konner, East Anglian blighter,\nExcited and much of a fighter,\nVery zealous today\nIn acrostic's own way\nNames this limerick after its writer.", "id": 23198, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Aperitifs are the drinks meant to whet\nDiners' appetites, yet if they get\nOne more drink than they should\nBefore dinner\u2014not good!\nTheir appetizers are headaches, I'll bet.", "id": 23199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "How bitter the tears that she's wept\nO'er the name that she's sorely yclept.\nWith a last name like Lear,\nThe name Shanda is queer.\nHow can parents have been so inept?", "id": 23200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A miniature brick's a briquette,\nAnd the smallest of bars a barrette.\nWill some charcoal, with care,\nAnd a clip for your hair\nShare the tiniest bag \u2014 a baguette?", "id": 23201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Nuptial masses were anciently said\nAs four Catholic priests overspread\nHeads of bridegroom and bride\nWith a carecloth to hide\nThem from holiness:  God in the bread.", "id": 23202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Finely wrought decorations may start\nOthers' phrasings repenned to look smart.\nIt's not pseudepigraphy,\nRather, calligraphy:\nHandwriting scripted as art.", "id": 23203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Bourguignon, bourguignonne is a meal\nWith some Burgundy's saucy appeal.\nIt's best known as that beef\nWhich, in common belief,\nSwims in wine sauce; let's take a good deal!", "id": 23204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Lower Egypt's kings' symbol's the bee\n(Egyptologists' \"bj.t\").\nNicely carved in the stone,\nOr just painted, it's shown\nOver names of the kings as a key.", "id": 23205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The Adige (Etsch)\u2014from a lake\nIn the Alps\u2014flows south-eastward to make\nIts path close to the Po.\nThese two rivers form no\nCommon third one: their delta's a fake.", "id": 23206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "Superman stands in his tight-\nfitting costume; a modern-day knight.\nHe runs faster than sound,\nAnd soars high above ground\n(Capabilities:  speeding and flight).", "id": 23207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jexia", "limerick": "I coughed and I coughed and I hacked,\nTill my husband's calm countenance cracked.\n\"What a dreadful cacophony!\nYour cough will hack off a knee!\"\nTrue!  I hacked his off, in fact.", "id": 23208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "American, British, Australian,\nCanadian too (but no alien).\nABCA as a group \u2014\nThough an alphabet soup \u2014\nThe alternative's sesquipedalian.", "id": 23209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Your weight (rather: mass) by height squared,\nIn SI units aptly prepared,\nGives a thickness account\nOf your body's amount:\nBMI: health in numbers declared.", "id": 23210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Colonel Blink and the Numskulls, that geezer\nYoung Sid, though not Julius Cheeser,\nThe violent Hillys\nAnd their rivals the Billys\u2014\nAll of these you would find in The Beezer.", "id": 23211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "Here's something to try when you bake:\nMake a sponge in two colours. Then, take\nLots of marzipan too,\nMake it square, and then you\nHave a nice piece of Battenberg cake!", "id": 23212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Our wordsmith, Philology Pete,\nSold adjectives, too, for a treat.\nFrom calm to excited\nAnd bored to delighted,\nThese words help make writing complete.", "id": 23213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "That slang British term \"a young bint\"\nIs one you see rarely in print.\nSuch girls will be plain\nOr maybe mundane \u2014\nThe kind you take out if you're skint.", "id": 23214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From his new point of view, he would show\nHow heat engines' efficiencies grow.\nFor each cycle that's real\nThere's a limit, ideal:\nSo theorized Sadi Carnot.", "id": 23215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "To take messages, summon or page\nIn hotels, on a train or on stage,\nA callboy's enough.\nFor massages and stuff,\nA call girl is the one to engage.", "id": 23216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "This caecilian has family whose\nIndividuals live in the ooze.\nWith each meal on their terms,\nThese amphibious worms\nMake an offal you cannot refuse.", "id": 23217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "There's a theater that poultry endorse\nShowing \"Heloise: Peter's Remorse.\"\nAll the tickets aren't cheap,\nBut the roosters won't peep,\nSince the capons get cast rates, of course.", "id": 23218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "\"For a vowel that's short,\" says this Kev,\n\"Use a symbol above called a breve.\"\nBut according to Steve,\nIt's pronounced best as \"breve,\"\nOr just \"C on its back,\" offers Bev.", "id": 23219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our Broadway debut faded fast\nWhen the actors left critics aghast.\nSo that's surely the reason\nFor failure last season,\nBut who wants to stone the first cast?", "id": 23220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Some marines are in alcohol's orbit;\nIn their bibulousness, they absorb it.\nTheir spongelike display\nThey attempt to downplay\nWith that pitiful esprit de corps bit.", "id": 23221, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Beware if you visit a beanery \u2014\nIt's not a lush place full of greenery.\nIt's a place where you eat\nOn your feet, not a seat \u2014\nAnd the diners fill in for the scenery.", "id": 23222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "It's in castles that monarchs reside.\nThick stone walls make a safe place to hide.\nUnless you're, by fate,\nThe eighth Henry's mate,\nIn which case you'd be safer outside!", "id": 23224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "There once was a whaler named Bob\nWho suddenly started to sob.\nSaid the blubbering fool,\nThrowing down his sharp tool,\n\"I'm just not cut out for this job!\"", "id": 23225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a blonde named Miss Myatt,\nWho said, \"I've just found a new diet.\nThis posh magazine,\nSays that carbon 14\nGets you dates\u2014girl, I can't wait to try it!\"", "id": 23226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"He's got carbuncles,\" said my aunt Em,\n\"And he's eager to get rid of them.\"\nI was ready to bid\nWhen Aunt Emily chid,\n\"Dear, a carbuncle isn't a gem!\"", "id": 23228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "You're guilty! I have to declare,\nAnd blameworthiness is your share.\nI'm sorry, dear Roger,\nYou're known as a dodger\nOf taxes \u2014 of that I'm aware.", "id": 23230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Quite rare is the term acathectic,\nDescribing abnormal or hectic\nRelease of secretions \u2014\nWhich may be excretions\nOf sweat when I get dialectic!", "id": 23231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Now I like ferns, so don't get me wrong,\nBut to count them \u2014 it takes me too long.\nYou may think I'm not fond\nAs I curse every frond\nOf the dogtooth \u2014 it's just adder's tongue.", "id": 23232, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're speaking of bossies, it's fine\nAnd decidedly not out of line\nTo refer to \"a pair,\"\nThough some cowboys might care\nTo regale you with \"two of a kine.\"", "id": 23233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I've found my old boomerang. Wow!\nI shall throw it again now \u2014 but how?\nAs my memory's rotten,\nI might have forgotten...\nAh, it's coming right back to me now!", "id": 23234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My pals paid a stripper a fee\nFor my bachelor bash, and since she\nProved so awesome while bedding,\nI canceled the wedding.\nI'm footloose and fianc\u00e9e-free!", "id": 23235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Oh, I knew it would be a mistake\nTo add quite so much booze when I bake.\nSherry sponge gets me loaded...\nRum tarts just exploded!\nCaked with pie, I am pie-eyed on cake.", "id": 23236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Checking emails, I pondered this blurb:\n\"Are you balding? Then take Chinese herb...\"\nThat word's adjectival\nFor hair non-survival,\nBut why can't I bald as a verb?", "id": 23237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From his birth, he cavorted and smiled\u2014\nAn ecstatic, exuberant child.\nStaying youthful and gay\n(Just like Dorian Gray),\nHappy Oscar was born to be wild.", "id": 23239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "\"Carbonara for me,\" said a bloke\nIn a diner.  The waiter then spoke:\n\"Oh forgive us, sir, please,\nWe have bacon, ham, cheese\nBut no eggs.  I'm not kidding.  No yolk.\"", "id": 23241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "lopey", "limerick": "Steroids of type anabolic\nCause athletes who take them to frolic\nOn the fields of their game.\nBut it isn't the same;\nWhat was joy has become melancholic.", "id": 23242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "For the most part, I'm not very brave,\nBut I entered the cavernous cave.\nSo when bats flew right past\nIn that cavern so vast,\nI thought I'd explored my own grave.", "id": 23243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The mud is now caked on his clothes,\nAnd it's dried like cement on his nose.\nHe played in that puddle,\nBut now wants to cuddle\u2014\nWell, first he'll get sprayed with the hose!", "id": 23244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My yard is a nice place for rambles\nIf you're someone who likes taking gambles.\nIf a shoelace should catch\nIn the blackberry patch,\nYou could end upside-down in the brambles.", "id": 23245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "\"Aroint thee, oh hag of the morn!\nIt's too early to rise. Mute thy horn.\"\n\"I've no sympathy, son.\nYou'll be tardy\u2014now run!\nAnd tonight don't stay up reading porn.\"", "id": 23246, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Failed your cooking class?  Don't be so bitter,\nBut you should know a bollo's a fritter\nMade with black-eyed-pea flour\nWith seasoning power\nThat turns every taste bud atwitter.", "id": 23247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Don Antonio, Boss of All Bosses,\nSaid, \"Our rackets are suffering losses!\nLet's work harder at crime\nAnd stop wasting our time\nSearching Google for pasta and sauces!\"", "id": 23248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "For the age of a tree, there's a thing\nThat reveals it: the annual ring.\nIn the cross-section here,\nGrowth (as girth) will appear.\nIt may vary a lot, spring to spring.", "id": 23249, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "A hot Catalan gal named Louise\nWas so powerfully sprung 'twixt her knees\nThat one carnal convulsion\nContained such propulsion\nHer boyfriend was launched to C\u00e1diz.", "id": 23250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graig Gigol", "limerick": "On his birthday, King Henry the 1st,\nAfter eating some Cajun-spiced wurst,\nSaid, \"We thought for a 2nd\nIt was juicy; we reckoned\nWe would eat it to lower our 3st.\"", "id": 23251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In pigs-in-the-blanket with rice\nOr in coleslaw it's certainly  nice.\nThis veggie is fine\nEvery time that I dine.\nWhen there's cabbage, I fill my plate twice.", "id": 23252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The poor beanie, a small brimless cap,\nHas acquired a rather bum rap.\nIt was worn by the frosh\nIn the old days, by gosh.\nTo remove one would cause quite a flap.", "id": 23253, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If you're small, and your fingers don't yet\nReach the high notes, don't fret! I can bet\nYou can play your guitar\nWith your hands as they are\u2014\nClamp a capo behind the fifth fret.", "id": 23254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Let's explore underground! Let's go caving\nIn caverns with stalagmites, braving\nDark tunnels and mud.\nLet's just hope it won't flood\u2014\nIf we're drowning, they won't see us waving.", "id": 23255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A knobbly-kneed calf tries to rise\nAs he looks on the world with new eyes.\nWith her nurturing tongue\nMother cow bathes her young\nIn the pasture beneath sunlit skies.", "id": 23256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Da Vinci, a movie, a quest:\nWith the bloodline of Christ they're obsessed.\nUnlike dragons, St. Michael'd,\nThis pulp gets recycled \u2014\nA coded intelligence test.", "id": 23257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Our orchard just blossomed last night\u2014\nBlack branches now snowdrifts of white.\nDrowsy droning of bees\nDrifts through burgeoning trees\nTo presage the apples' crisp bite.", "id": 23258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Quick as waving a magical wand,\nJack took Lancs from the Slough of Despond\nTo the number one team,\nTo win trophies their theme.\nWhat a truly great captain was Bond.", "id": 23259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Jerry opens his new \"Acme\" pack; a\nThought bubbles up, Tom gets a smacker.\nDisappointment! Alas!\nThis thing only makes gas\nOut of oil. Why's it called a cat cracker?!", "id": 23261, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "C's a sequence that's Cauchy, we'll see:\nChoose a D, any distance, and we\nCan find element n:\nFor all greater m's, then\n| C(n) \u2013 C(m) | < D.", "id": 23262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "In his bleak prison hospital bed,\nThe old cat burglar lies, nearly dead.\nYes, the end is in store;\nHe is now at death's door\n(Or maybe death's window instead).", "id": 23263, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "With devotion I'd call masochistic,\nYou've made my lim more anapaestic,\nAnd spent endless time\nIn improving my rhyme;\nNow that's what I call altruistic!", "id": 23264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "From the outset their love was ill-starred,\nCarmen and her boy from the Guard:\nThat it wouldn't end well\nShe could sadly foretell,\nWhen she kept turning up the same card.", "id": 23265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Alas for the bold capercailzie:\nAs he strode through the heather so gailzie,\nHe was suddenly shot\nBy a bloodthirsty Scot\nWho goes out with his shotgun twice dailzie.", "id": 23266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "JakeVortex", "limerick": "An absolver can grant absolution\nTo polluters releasing pollution,\n\"But for gluttony and sloth,\"\nSays a man of the cloth,\n\"Do some crunches \u2014 the Lord's abs solution.\"", "id": 23267, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "No one peeks at my cheeks, I will vouch;\nWhen she grabs at my abs, I say, \"Ouch!\"\nBodybuilding's no art\nTo my taste, with my heart\n(As I munch on some chips on the couch).", "id": 23268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The word calender, when it is seen,\nShould refer to a pressing machine\nWith rollers and plates,\nNot a listing of dates.\nNow why can't we spell what we meen?", "id": 23269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A castaway I'd like to be,\nOn an uncharted isle in the sea,\nWith adventures so grand\nAs I live off the land,\nWith no cares and no wishes to flee.", "id": 23270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I must categorize every lim,\nThough my brain feels all dusty and dim,\nSo when visitors search,\nThey're not left in the lurch:\nThrough our website they'll rapidly skim.", "id": 23271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When rhetorical tricks are discussed,\nThe device called bdelygmia must\nBe the worst of them all:\nIt can make your flesh crawl\nAnd cause nausea, hives, and disgust.", "id": 23272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "A bricklayer, massive and burly,\nThrough no fault of his own was named \"Shirley\".\n\"Call me Hank\" was his plea,\nAnd when showing I.D.\nHe was apt to grow violent and surly.", "id": 23273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In this pot I am mixing a brew.\nI admit it looks something like glue.\nAn astringent and dye\nWill emerge by and by\u2014\nNow I've breathed in the fumes\u2014catechu!", "id": 23274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "They get called on when somebody's ill\nOr they stand in the shadows real still;\nThey're a secondish fiddle,\nMay resent it a liddle,\nBut backups will oft fill the bill.", "id": 23276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "When the king takes two steps, moving wide,\nAnd the rook jumps to stand at his side,\nThen he's castled, and now,\nThough he's safer, somehow\nTo hide's put a dent in his pride.", "id": 23277, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Watch that puck!  Here's some friendly advice:\nBeware of those bovines on ice.\nBelieve me, when scoring\nYou're risking a goring.\nThat's bullhockey? Very precise.", "id": 23278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A doper was looking to hide\nMarijuana, but nowhere he tried\nSeemed a suitable place,\nTill he noticed a vase\nThat was perfect to cachepot inside.", "id": 23279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My tabby was fussy when young,\nSo you're shocked her new tastes are far-flung.\nShe's been eating your lox;\nNow she's scarfing your ox.\n\"What's the matter\u2014the cat got your tongue?\"", "id": 23280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To a cannabis lecturer's dread,\nMany students like liquor instead,\nSo it's booze that they're choosing\nTo study\u2014refusing\nTo go to the class of the head.", "id": 23281, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "A bouquet for your date may sound swell,\nBut take care \u2014 certain flowers repel!\nIf you give her some betony,\nMan, you won't getony;\nRoses, however, work well.", "id": 23282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "As I rehab this farmhouse, I tire\nOf the changes it's gonna require.\nIn the basement I'll keep\nAll my cattle and sheep,\nSo my cellar is also my byre.", "id": 23283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Though his lordship thinks parboiling wheat\nAnd removing the bran's quite a feat,\nHe won't say so to you,\nAnd taboulli's taboo;\nBulgur language offends the elite.", "id": 23284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Among physicists, you're revered greatly;\nYou could understand concepts innately.\nFinding beta decay \u2014\nThat just blew them away,\nBut what have you done, Fermi, lately?", "id": 23285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If you've not given birth, you're nulliparous.\nHaving offspring in pairs makes you biparous.\nA multiparous wife\nLeads a difficult life\nIf her man's insufficiently zipperous.", "id": 23286, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Nash was best as a gardener, Dale,\nSo to keep out of debt now, and jail,\nAs the cabbage price tumbles,\nWe must (despite grumbles)\nMake sure we get Nash on the kale.", "id": 23287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "An antiship missile's a shocker\nTo silence the heartiest mocker.\nIts impact is sudden\nAnd sends your crew scuddin'\nDeep fathoms to Davy Jones' Locker.", "id": 23288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "In the depths of your mind in the night,\nYou are frozen, then frenzied: take flight\nAt the bark of the guns\nAs their stark harshness stuns\nAnd you struggle awake \u2014 towards light.", "id": 23289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "An airport's a place where you wait:\nTo check in, to be frisked at the gate,\nThen for boarding the plane\u2014\nIt's a bore and a bane,\nBut it's more of a pain if you're late.", "id": 23290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The sand stretches on by the mile,\nIndistinguished \u2014 each shifting, soft pile \u2014\nBy the bake of the sun\nBeating down: day's begun,\nWith the heat and restraint I revile.", "id": 23291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Stalactites are attached at the top;\nStalagmites grow up tall, drop by drop.\n\"When the mites go up thick,\nThen the tights come down quick\"\u2014\nThis mnemonic I learnt from my Pop.", "id": 23292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Carbonnade is a fine Belgian stew\nMade of beef cooked in beer; onions, too.\nA chef who meanders\nTo kitchens in Flanders\nWill learn how to make it for you.", "id": 23293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Consumers, cut costs! Get the scoop on\nAll the ways you can double that coupon.\n\"Half Price\" and such jargon\nMeans markdowns: a bargain!\nSave bucks, from potatoes to Poupon.", "id": 23295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "With iron, they taught me that sin\nBurrows deeper than scars on my skin.\nThat singe-mark will last\nAnd will dredge up the past:\nI'm branded, without and within.", "id": 23296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "This cool, moving air is a treat\nAfter stagnant and harrowing heat:\nThe breath that will kiss you;\nThat feeling of bliss you\nHave missed for so long \u2014 fresh and sweet.", "id": 23297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "To Hermes, in winged sandals shod,\nThe caduceus (white-ribboned rod)\nGave the power to harm\nOr to heal and to calm,\nAs a tool for this messenger god.", "id": 23298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A huntswoman, Lady Tamara,\nEschewed the more usual tiara\nAnd wore on her head\nSomething furry and dead \u2014\nA large rodent she'd capped: capybara.", "id": 23299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "There's one thing that's truly essential:\nYour alias keep confidential.\nNo one knows I'm a spy.\nIt is vital in my\nOccupation that's secret agential.", "id": 23300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "British Summer Time: clocks forward one.\nWe all know that it has to be done.\nDivine days now extend,\nAnd it means winter's end,\nBut the hour less sleep ain't much fun.", "id": 23301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "My anapests stumble, off-kilter,\nIn the middle my rhymes seem to wilter,\nMy defining is hazy \u2014\nIt's not that I'm lazy,\nBut rather an abject OEDILFer.", "id": 23302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Twelve carats? That's only half gold.\nCheap rings leave a girl like me cold.\nBut twelve-carat rocks\nWill sure rock my socks;\nA diamond that size and I'm sold!", "id": 23303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "If the man has a bone in his nose,\nAnd is wearing a loincloth for clothes,\nAnd you're in a big pot\nThat is getting quite hot,\nHe's a cannibal, then, I suppose.", "id": 23304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "Please stop screeching, my sweet little dears!\nThat cacophony's hurting my ears!\nYour unmusical screams,\nMaking nightmares of dreams,\nAre what's driving your parents to tears!", "id": 23305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Once a boar grimly grunted, \"A warship\nIs not the best place for my boarship.\nIf sailors come gunning,\nI'll hog all the running \u2014\nOr end up as pork on their storeship.\"", "id": 23306, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Crazy cookie\" they call me. It's wrong.\n\"Flaky fruitcake\" as well. I am strong.\nI'm a cake and accept\nI've been raised quite inept,\nFor my mum was a wafer too long.", "id": 23307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "It's said, as a child, barely four,\nMichelangelo seemed to adore\nNot the guilding nor tapestry\nIn Florence's Baptistry \u2014\nBut Ghiberti's great bronze northern door.", "id": 23308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "I tend to belabor a theme.\nEach paragraph fills up a ream.\nA repetitive chap,\nI restate and recap\nTill the reader is ready to scream.", "id": 23309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "What were Cameron's camera's charms?\nShots of autopsies, World War II's harms.\nHis technique hit its peak\nWhen his troop took a leak\nOut the windows, presenting...not arms.", "id": 23310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "On her sash the Madonna displayed it,\nA motto; I'll loosely translate it:\n\"M. A. Buonarotti\n(It's me!  Yes, I'm haughty!)\nThe sculptor from Florence has made it.\"", "id": 23311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A bee and a bug in a stew\nWere swimming; what else could they do?\n\"I'm bugged,\" said the bee;\nSaid the bug, \"Let it be.\"\nAnd they're paddling still in the brew.", "id": 23312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"Common Market\"  became E.E.C.,\nThen just E.C. \u2014 can't anyone see?\nWith each country's accession,\nMy growing impression\nIs E.U. will become U.S.E.", "id": 23313, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Bed and breakfast are offered by Sue\nAnd by Pam, with a beautiful view\nOver valley and lake.\nDo not literally take\nTheir bold ad: \"We make all dreams come true!\"", "id": 23314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "For high voltage you need electricians,\nWhile blockage requires physicians.\n-age turns post into fee,\nAnd I guess you'll agree:\nIt's a suffix conveying conditions.", "id": 23315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The Land that's surrounding Berlin\nOnce was Prussian, and now it is seen\nAs Fontane-Land\u2014sand\nFull of waterways\u2014and\nYou'll find Brandenburg empty and green.", "id": 23316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The physicist Ferdinand Braun\nWas a person of worldwide renown.\nHe invented that tube,\nNow oft \"prefixed\" by boob\u2014\nUsed as adjective\u2014putting it down.", "id": 23317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "To Norway annexed by decree;\nIn the southern Atlantic; and free\nFrom inhabitants, human;\nIts cliffs icy loomin':\nIt's the cold, empty islet BV.", "id": 23318, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Louis Victor de Broglie, a noble\nAnd Frenchman, with thoughts rather global,\nSaw waves, and\u2014what matters\u2014\nLeft matter in shatters.\nTo follow, we have to think mobile.", "id": 23319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Bad's not bad, though their spelling's the same,\nBut the word used before a town's name\u2014\nSpeak the \"a\" as an \"ah\"\u2014\nMeans a spring or a spa\nWith some balneological claim.", "id": 23320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Go south, the \"Romantical Route\"\nJust for sightseeing\u2014this will be cute:\nVia Ansbach, detour,\nBut see Augsburg for sure,\nTake a rest, have a drink or some fruit.", "id": 23321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Six hieroglyph symbols suffice\nFor Ankhesenamen. That's nice;\nIt takes us twelve letters.\nThe writing trend-setters\nWere obviously twice as concise.", "id": 23322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "See a church that is simply called Wies,\nIn baroque style, a masterly piece.\nK\u00f6nigsschl\u00f6sser a must?\nIt's too crowded, dear\u2014trust:\nThere's no need for a further increase.", "id": 23323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The element written Bk\nIs synthetic, or man-made, okay?\nLarge mass will combine\nWith a small one just fine:\nAmericium plus helium, let's say!", "id": 23324, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Looking back at my youth, I can see\nCrazy dreams of a boy such as me:\nWithout money or fame,\nAs a goal I would aim\nJust to share B&B with BB.", "id": 23325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"Law of cooling\", we call\u2014and admire\u2014\nWhat he found, a bit far from the higher\nLaws of physics and maths.\nNewton's less well-known paths:\nAlchemistically playing with fire.", "id": 23326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The air very close to the wall\nOf an object, fast moving, recall,\nIs the boundary layer.\nIt keeps every player\nFrom awfully far kicking a ball.", "id": 23328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The body's defence (immune) system,\nFighting antigens, grabs 'em to twist 'em.\nIf for someone small fractions\nCause overreactions,\nAllergology helps to resist 'em.", "id": 23329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The alpenhorn's sound in the morn\nIs haunting and low and forlorn.\nWith its song so expressive\nAnd its length so impressive,\nIt's the toast of the whole Matterhorn.", "id": 23330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Adjustable styles a device\nOr a tool (to be clear and precise)\nWhen it can be redone\nTo serve more ends than one \u2014\nAnd without any increase in price.", "id": 23331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "In the valley, all tombs were bereft\nOf their treasures; no single one left?\nOnly one man searched smarter;\nHis name? Howard Carter.\nTutankhamun's tomb proved he was deft.", "id": 23332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "We are building, by Long Island Sound,\nOur new home from the trees all around.\nThough the plans may bewilder,\nWe've found a great builder,\nAnd now is the time to break ground.", "id": 23333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Every road right across this great nation\nFalls under a classification;\nIf lettered with A,\nIt's a noteworthy way\u2014\nThey form the whole network's foundation.", "id": 23334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Though the walls that were covered in red\nHave been painted pure white now instead,\nFrom that room I must flee\nBecause all I can see\nAre the pictures of blood in my head.", "id": 23335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Although silence, at times, can be nice,\nAt my party I tried to entice\nLots of smiles from each guest,\nBut I failed in my quest.\nThen I farted and that broke the ice.", "id": 23336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "My new boxercise partner has fled.\nDon't know why. Was it something I said?\nThere were no nasty looks,\nOnly right and left hooks,\nPlus a few minor blows to the head!", "id": 23338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Cantus firmus instructions \u2014 you've found them!\nIn the following lines I'll expound them:\nTake the notes of a song,\nMake them even and long,\nThen compose some new music around them.", "id": 23339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "In a musical representation,\nA descent (like eternal damnation)\nHas the colourful name\nOf catabasis. Shame\nThat this doesn't mean \"feline foundation\".", "id": 23340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Why is it that Andersen's Fairy Tales\nAre often such angst-ridden, scary tales?\nThough his stories are magic,\nTheir endings are tragic.\nWhy didn't this Dane pen more merry tales?", "id": 23341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"We've contracted a strange new bacillus,\"\nSaid my mother-in-law, Amaryllis.\n\"Aerobic and rod-shaped,\nIn chains that are odd-shaped,\nThis bacterium's certain to kill us!\"", "id": 23342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Human cannonball, Bob? I'm astounded,\nAs well,\" said my friend, \"as confounded.\nDo you have, for that job,\nThe right calibre, Bob?\"\n\"Oh, I think so,\" I said. \"I'm well-rounded.\"", "id": 23343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Steve has always, since joining at B,\nBeen a writer who's part absentee.\nSince he sails the Atlantic,\nThe folks here feel frantic,\nAfraid that he's lost now at C.", "id": 23344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "My sloth's a slow, cumbersome beast,\nWho exhibits no haste in the least.\nBut when hornet invasion\nUpsets the occasion,\nHe streaks off like lightning well greased.", "id": 23345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Moira Moynes' little boy's swallowed coins.\nNow the casualty doctor enjoins\nHer to go home and wait.\nWhen she phones, in a state,\nHe says, \"No. There's no change yet, Ms. Moynes.\"", "id": 23347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though the painter of nudes, Iris Burke,\nIs an artist who's known not to shirk,\nBy portraying her tot\nIn ten paintings, she's got\nJust a little behind in her work.", "id": 23348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Your car, while it still has some worth,\nJoked Ms. Bombeck, a lady of mirth,\nIs a thing, God forfend,\nYou should never, friend, lend\nTo a person to whom you gave birth.", "id": 23349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "We had heard the soft call of the wild,\nSo we fled our vile city, defiled.\nIn our little log dwelling,\nSoon Sandra was swelling \u2014\nNow we hear just the call of the child.", "id": 23350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Madge, who's fifty, is grouchy because\nAll the men who once rushed to applause\nWhen they saw her stride in,\nLooking fecund and thin,\nPause to think now. (She hates men who pause.)", "id": 23351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When a pronoun's an object, embrace\nSomething called the accusative case;\nYou'll sound dumb if you say\nThings like he, she, and they,\nAnd not him, her, and them in their place.", "id": 23352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If in battle you've somehow lost track\nOf the cannonballs piled in your stack,\nAnd you need to count fast\nAll those balls you've amassed,\nSolve the problem with math\u2014then attack!", "id": 23353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'm a thoroughbred feeling remorse,\nFor my filly has filed for divorce.\nAll you stallions, beware:\nDon't get hitched to a mare\nYou can't win with. Don't back the wrong horse.", "id": 23354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "A castor's a silver device\nFor pouring your pepper and spice;\nThese seasonings drop\nThrough the holes in the top,\nAnd I'd buy one\u2014but can't pay the price.", "id": 23355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When the priest tells his people, \"You shan't\nWear your clothing too sheer or too scant,\"\nHe should look in the mirror:\nHis clothes are much sheerer,\nAnd now it's much clearer: it's cant.", "id": 23356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When you're walking, you'll learn that you shan't\nEver walk to one side at a slant.\nWhen you're strolling, your gait\nMust be kept very straight\n(If it can; if it can't, you will cant).", "id": 23357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Not afraid to just stand up and rant,\nAt the Burglar's Convention, my aunt\nTold the thieves gathered there,\n\"This is highly unfair!\nCan you stop using jargon? You cant!\"", "id": 23358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "We were out on the pitch when a fellow\nFell down, and then said with a bellow\nWhile lying inert,\n\"Ref, I'm not really hurt!\"\nThus the man drew a caution (a yellow).", "id": 23359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Is it part of your leg that's adorable?\nOr a moo-ning young cow sighing for a bull?\nThe emotion's intense\nYou are lost \u2014 no defence,\nYou've got calf-love, it's simply incurable!", "id": 23360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've struggled while carrying stones\nAnd repressed all the grumbles and groans.\nThere are two-minute breaks,\nBut my body just aches\u2014\nI need time to be resting my bones.", "id": 23361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This guv is a cad seeking fame\nWith his girly-man taunts\u2014what a shame.\nAhnold shows no restraint\n(Schwarzenegghead he ain't).\nPumping irony isn't his game.", "id": 23362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Teenage acne left scars on Louise,\nWho popped pimples throughout her disease.\nAt her boyfriend's persuasion,\nShe tried dermabrasion.\nThe surgeon is now her main squeeze.", "id": 23363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "When his biopic critics are makin'\nIn the future, some shots will be taken:\n\"His style was a sham.\"\n\"An inveterate ham.\"\n\"William Shatner:  Canadian bacon.\"", "id": 23364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Said X (a Cartesian coordinate)\nTo Y, \"Damn this graph! We're both boredinate.\nWould one more dimension\nHelp break up the tension?\nOr would we be just overawedinate?\"", "id": 23365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Are your guests rageaholics from hell?\nCalming camomile tea soothes them well.\nI'll be sending that beverage\nTo Dame Edna Everage\nFor Barry and Russell and Mel.", "id": 23366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Have a butcher's at these plates of meat\"\nIsn't talk about joints that you'll eat;\nIt's what Londoners say\nWhen they've walked a long way,\nAnd it simply means: \"Look at these feet!\"", "id": 23367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "We've fat jaded ladies\u2014a horde!\nBut our health spa's expenses have soared.\nMy partner said, quote:\n\"We should just buy a boat,\nAnd board the broad bored broads aboard.\"", "id": 23368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a dance called the Bump\nThat was based upon swinging your rump.\nIt was big at the disco\nFrom New York to Frisco\u2014\nIts inventor?  Perhaps Forrest Gump?", "id": 23369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Battle Creek is a city where they\nManufacture a crunchy array\nOf cereals\u2014sweets\n(Which include Frosted Wheats)\nAnd some healthier types (Special K).", "id": 23370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "You're like skeeters that greedily sup,\nOr the roach I find draining my cup.\nMy calm would be helped\nIf your mom hadn't whelped.\n\"You bug me\" about sums it up.", "id": 23371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "While a heisenbug hides when you seek it,\nA Bohr bug will let you critique it.\nThat it's solid and real\nHas a simple appeal:\nIt holds still when you try to antique it.", "id": 23372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "In the bold age of factory strain,\nWe poured goop on the ground as a drain.\nNow the brownfields just languish\nWhile barristers anguish,\nWith cleanup assigned to the rain.", "id": 23373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Seems this auction sale lacks popularity.\n\"Who'll give twenty-five cents for this rarity?\"\nThough the lot's not that nice,\nI will bid up the price\n'Cause the proceeds are going to charity.", "id": 23374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If you're climbing up high and you fall,\nLanding hard on your heel not the ball\nOf your foot, it may make\nYour calcaneus break:\nFirst you'll sprawl, then you'll bawl as you crawl.", "id": 23375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "The broadcasting channels diffuse\nDocumentary, drama and news.\nBut provocative gags,\nWherein broads cast their rags,\nGarner bad governmental reviews.", "id": 23376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "As a dandy, Beau Brummell loved clothes.\nHe eschewed knee-length breeches and hose.\nPlain black coat, white cravat,\nTight black pants, opera hat\nAnd high boots were the wardrobe he chose.", "id": 23377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What the fun-loving Baptist decrees is,\nWhen serving us crackers, \"It pleases\nOur Savior, J.C.,\nTo see cheddar and Brie:\nWhat a friend we all have here in cheeses!\"", "id": 23378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though I tried, I could not quite ignore,\nAs I swam in the Severn, a roar\nGetting louder now. Gee,\nWhat on earth could it be?\nThen it hit me: the great Severn Bore!", "id": 23379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The people of Berwick-on-Tweed\nAre not fighting with Russia, agreed?\nFor, to settle the case,\nThere's a treaty in place,\nSo that Russians won't panic\u2014no need!", "id": 23380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Western capitalism was great\nWhen it left rabid Reds at the gate.\nNow we urgently need\nTo control its great greed\nBefore all men on Earth share their fate.", "id": 23381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In Jamaica, and places that you\nKnow as islands bedazzled by blue,\nFolks invented a soup\nThat is named for the group\nOf the leaves it demands (callaloo).", "id": 23382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A shy carpenter, shamed by his stammer,\nTook speech and phonetics and grammar.\nGreatly helped by all those,\nHis tongue fully unfroze\nWhen he next hit his thumb with a hammer.", "id": 23383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The West Point cadet (no one's fresher)\nIs constantly put through the thresher\nOf uniform dress.\nCall it charcoal duress:\nHe's exhibiting grays under pressure.", "id": 23384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "If you're making focaccia dough,\nThere's an item you'll need for it, Joe.\nUse some active dry yeast\nSo its bulk is increased.\nOtherwise, you'll have matzoh, you know?", "id": 23386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Is it bogey or bogie or bogy\nFor this geezer who golfs in Muskogee?\nAll three can be spirits.\nThe first one? I hear it's\nA stroke over par for a fogy.", "id": 23387, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The lad, when his love life fell fallow,\nHeard girls found him childish and callow.\nSo moustaches were tried\nThough their fluffiness cried:\n'Far too young and so desperately shallow.'", "id": 23388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Wild witch-brood, begot on the isle \u2014\nCrooked Caliban, savage and vile.\nAlthough whipped towards grace,\nHe stayed lustful and base,\nTwisting words just to curse and defile.", "id": 23389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Don't you lie 'bout my cat. I won't buy it,\nFor you ate him, my friend. Don't deny it:\nBloody fur's on your lips,\nAnd your mouth's clawed to strips.\nDid my cat get your tongue? You're so quiet\u2014", "id": 23390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I've had nothing but beans, and, alas,\nWhat you feared is now coming to pass:\nI've forgotten somehow\nMy carminative; now\nYou will all get to live with my gas.", "id": 23391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "It was you who demolished our plan,\nBut you know I'm a slow-witted man,\nSo I'll loudly proclaim,\n\"It's my fault! I'm to blame!\"\nWhile you walk, and I carry the can.", "id": 23392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"My constituents know my morality\nIs perfect through spirituality.\nMy opponent's is not\u2014\nGod, you newsbabes are hot!\"\nSpoke the pol in today's actuality.", "id": 23393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I could run so much faster, I feel,\nWith a caster attached to each heel.\nI could win every race;\nNot be caught in a chase;\nAnd I'd never be late for a meal.", "id": 23394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "What's the meaning of bimanous? Jiminy!\nTry \"having two hands\", dummy. Criminy!\nIt's so easy to tell\n(If you know how to spell)\nThat it doesn't mean \"one of the Bimini\"!", "id": 23395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In old Athens, two snakes on a rod\nWith two wings represented a god.\nBut\u2014as Zeus would avow\u2014\nThe caduceus now\nStands for doctors who work on your bod.", "id": 23397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I leave work at a quarter-past five,\nHeaded home. But this route that I drive\nIs bumper-to-bumper\nTo bumper-to-bumper;\nIt's ten by the time I arrive.", "id": 23398, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My \"alternative dentistry\" gripe?\nThere's no substance\u2014just mystical hype:\nStrange aromas to smell\nAnd hypnosis as well.\nThink I'll stick to the old-fashioned type.", "id": 23399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "At the animal shelter we found\nThe most loyal and lovable hound.\nNow we proudly proclaim\nThat Shelter's his name\nOn account of he makes our hearts \"pound.\"", "id": 23400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A floral arrangement is not\nMerely child's play to make, for it's got\nTo have color and line\nIn artistic design.\nIt's more than just ferns in a pot!", "id": 23401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My father's at peace,\" she said, musing,\n\"Up above,\" though her words were confusing.\nI thought what she said\nMeant that Daddy was dead,\nBut he's not.  He's just upstairs and snoozing.", "id": 23402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The Benelux countries?  Well, I'm\nHere to say it's a huge waste of time\nWriting limerick verses\nOn them because (curses!)\nNot one of the three has a rhyme.", "id": 23403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While many proclaim, \"It's a crime\nThat this project of meter and rhyme\nIs progressing so slowly!\"\nI'm confident, wholly,\nWe'll finish it, all in good time.", "id": 23404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"My dear dad bought the farm!\" Donna cried.\n\"Well, you've always liked cows,\" I replied.\n\"No!  He snuffed it\u2014went west!\nHe's expired\u2014at rest!\nMy dad's pushin' up daisies!  He died!!\"", "id": 23405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a root that is named adventitious\nThat's both curious and expeditious.\nIt's not just a shoot\nFrom the primary root.\nWere it human, you'd call it ambitious.", "id": 23406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you're troubled by mites and by ticks\nIn your home, a reliable fix\nIs to purchase today\nAn acaricide spray.\n(Either that or move out of the sticks!)", "id": 23407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "In Lahore and Land's End and Lucerne,\nYou will notice the arsis astern.\nBut in Chusan and Chester\nAnd Lisbon and Leicester\nThe arsis afore, you'll discern.", "id": 23408, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "A borough's a place folk inhabit,\nNot fast-breeding rodents, dagnabit!\nIn America, though,\nThey pronounce it \"burrow\".\nTo us Brits that's the home of a rabbit.", "id": 23409, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "In hospitals illness is spread\nBy divers ways, bed unto bed.\nIf it moves on bacterially,\nIt will clearly materially\nIncrease all the residents' dread.", "id": 23410, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "With your card trick, I'm quick to believe\nThat you don't have a thing up your sleeve.\nYou can skip the canard,\nSince you won't find it hard\nWhen revealing my card: I'm naive.", "id": 23411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "After school, all the gang's goin' bladin'\nAs the skateboarders' turf we're invadin'.\nNot one of me mates\nUses old-fashioned skates\nBecause that would be way too degradin'.", "id": 23413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The most brunneous eyes I have seen\nAre my lover's\u2014not blue and not green.\nNeither hazel nor grey,\nThey're not lavender.  They\nAre not light, if you know what I mean.", "id": 23414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An about-face is just what she's done.\nAs a bed-hopper second to none,\nIn her youth (way back when)\nShe had hundreds of men.\nNow she's married and faithful to one.", "id": 23415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Baling wire? I'd say it's just fine\nThat the use of that stuff's in decline.\nFor baling up hay\nIt works fine, so they say,\nBut today modern farmers use twine.", "id": 23417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While you wait, on a surfboard astraddle,\nSome surfer chick, scantily clad'll\nAppear close behind,\nSo what plan comes to mind?\nBackpaddle!  Backpaddle!  Backpaddle!", "id": 23418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your roommate has told me, Yvette,\nWhen we speak on the phone, I'm all wet.\nShe informed me, with glee,\nThat you're backgrounding me.\nWhile I'm speaking, you're surfing the net!", "id": 23420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To explain active cave?  Nothing to it!\nIt's remarkably easy to do it.\nThis term I'll define\nIn the very last line:\nIt's a cave with a stream running through it.", "id": 23421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "With a dog you know where you are at.\nBut you can't say the same for a cat.\nIt will sit there and stare,\nMaybe cough up some hair,\nOr deposit dead mice on your mat.", "id": 23422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some tribes act like addicts on coke,\nAnd to study them isn't a joke.\nYou don't need a psychologist;\nA career agriologist\nIs the guy who researches these folk.", "id": 23423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Those letters you send, I receive.\nSuch nonsense is for the naive!\nIf gin is like truth,\nYou're full of vermouth.\nI can not bring myself to believe.", "id": 23424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "The bestseller of books, barring none,\nIs the Good Book, the Bible\u2014the one\nFound in rooms of hotels\nAnd in jails' locked-up cells,\nRead in earnest and not just for fun.", "id": 23425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "On a product, the bar code we see\u2014\nWhen it's scanned, shows the price it will be.\nBut pronounce it bark ode,\nA new meaning's bestowed:\nIt's a poem that's carved on a tree.", "id": 23427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I demand that you all wear chinchilla!\nI will walk down the aisle in a villa!\nHave my idiot groom\nBe in some other room.\"\n(She is not just a bride\u2014she's Bridezilla!!)", "id": 23429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a word I've discovered that I'm\nHere to tell you about in this rhyme.\nSay hello to Amexica,\nNot in most lexica\nYet, but just give it some time.", "id": 23430, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Simple numbers are thought of abstract-ly,\nLike '5' or '10', matter-of-factly.\nBut consider '3 feet',\nWhere the number's concrete.\"\n\"So the difference is usage?\"  \"Exactly!\"", "id": 23431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Alexandrite is red when it's checked\nBy the light of a candle, correct?\nBut in light that's man-made,\nBlue or green is displayed,\nHence the term: alexandrite effect.", "id": 23432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Herbert Aubergine, native of Asia,\nHas morals so strict they'd amaze ya.\nThen again, there's no lack\nOf thick hair on his back.\nHe resembles some ape from Malaysia.", "id": 23433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The hot dogs most often that WE choose\nWill reflect our most fervent beef-FREE views.\nSome call \"bird dogs\" a cheat\n'Cause they're made out of meat\nThat's from chickens and turkeys and ______.", "id": 23435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some limericks have stresses appalling\nYet despite this, they may be my calling.\nI tap into my free muse\n(The answer is \"emus\")\nSo who cares if my efforts are galling!", "id": 23436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Caesar salad I've ordered, though I'd\nMuch prefer having something that's fried.\nStill I'm happy to munch\nOn this healthier lunch\n(I'll just have the hot fudge on the side).", "id": 23438, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The molding that runs round the hall\nIn our home, near the ceiling, we call\nA cavetto, whose curve,\nBeing concave, will serve\nTo keep dust farther down on the wall.", "id": 23440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Now your very first score has been made,\"\nPat said calmly, \"Do not be afraid.\"\nShe went on, with a smile,\n\"We'll go downtown where I'll\nGet you drunk, then tattooed, and then laid!\"", "id": 23441, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Abscondite:  \"abstruse or obscure.\"\nOf this meaning we're plausibly sure.\nIt's an inkhorn term, yes,\nSo it's anyone's guess\nIf this interesting word will endure.", "id": 23442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "With her plane looking fresher and newer,\nShe calculated foes would come to her.\nWith her very next mission,\nShe achieved her ambition:\nThe bad guys had one aircraft fewer!", "id": 23443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I love amaretto 'cause it's\nFar more tasty than hominy grits.\nAnd should you like trivia,\nThis factoid I'll givia:\nThey make it from apricot pits!", "id": 23444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Bovine spongiform encephalopathy:\nWhen you eat tainted meat, this neuropathy\n(BSE, if you please,\nOr just mad cow disease)\nCan result in a scary monopathy.", "id": 23445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Surfer Dan enjoys surfing while nude.\nHe was asked, \"What's an aerial, dude?\"\nHe replied, \"That is where\nMe and board are mid-air.\nIf I come down in coral, I'm screwed.\"", "id": 23447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "After hiking two weeks, I am sorry\nWe went on this half-assed safari.\nA mistake, that's for sure,\nWas this African tour\nTitled \"Stalking the Wild Calamari.\"", "id": 23448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Her commander begged all personnel\nOf her caliber, \"Don't say farewell\nTo your Army career!\"\nBut depression, severe,\nMade retention a very hard sell.", "id": 23449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My neighbors are Eric and Derek.\nOne's a cop and the other's a cleric.\nThey've got oil acne now\n(I don't want to know how).\nIt's a term that is mostly generic.", "id": 23450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"With waterbeds, don't be misled!\nThis mattress is baffled,\" he said.\n\"I don't mean it's confused,\nBut that baffles were used.\"\nBut the thing sprang a leak, so we fled.", "id": 23452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Kiss those babies!  And suck in your gut!\nAlways smile for the cameras!  Do what\nFifty experts all say!\n(Wooing voters this way\nIs a massive campaign in the butt.)", "id": 23453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My daughter's new boyfriend?  This guy\u2014\nA complete baked potato, say I.\nOn the couch he will stay\nWatching TV all day,\nAnd throughout he's incredibly high.", "id": 23454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's Bugs Bunny, a hare we adore,\nDaffy Duck, who was hard to ignore,\nAnd then Pep\u00e9 Le Pew\nAnd the Road Runner too.\nMel Blanc did these voices and more.", "id": 23455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Affluenza: a sickness, a greed\nFor more stuff that you flat out don't need.\nBigger home, fancy watch,\nNewer car, older scotch\u2014\nJoin the vast capitalistic stampede!", "id": 23456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Right on Interstate 495,\nAlligators will eat you alive.\nThey're just soaking up sun.\nShould you run over one\nYou might find it a challenge to drive.", "id": 23457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Polly Adler established her name\nIn the world's oldest play-for-pay game.\nJolly times?  Polly had 'em,\nThe gents called her \"Madam,\"\nBut a \"house\" and a \"home\"?  Not the same!", "id": 23458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There are three British blokes in their beds.\nOn their pillows are three British heads.\nWere they Yanks at such ease,\nThey'd be catching some z's.\nAs it is, though, they're catching some z's.", "id": 23459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Don't dwell on years passed or on treasure spent\nOr contemplate where days of leisure went.\nNow you've hit your Four-Oh,\nThere are perks, as you know,\nWhen your age parallels your bust measurement.", "id": 23460, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Theda Bara was known as \"The Vamp.\"\nIn the silents, Ms Bara was champ\nAt seducing young men\u2014\nFilm's first sex symbol!  Then\nTastes evolved and they called her a tramp.", "id": 23461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"I'll be needing a C-note first, Honey.\"\nI complied, but she sneered: \"Think that's funny?\"\nSo I asked, \"What's the hitch?\nI have got perfect pitch.\"\n(It turns out she was asking for money.)", "id": 23462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Cities used to spring up around ports.\nNow these ports are of different sorts.\nAerotropoli: centers\nWith airports one enters.\nThis new term an old word contorts.", "id": 23463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To an actor turned skater, named Greg,\nWe just wanted to say \"Break a leg!\"\nYour production sounds nice:\nHumpty Dumpty on Ice,\nSo perhaps we should say \"Break an egg!\"", "id": 23464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Samuel Adams threw tea, so I hear,\nIn the harbor, then made a career\nOut of making folks skittish\n(The tea-sipping British).\nNo wonder today he's a beer.", "id": 23465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "J. P. Richardson's hit was a whopper,\nSo he toured to promote his chart-topper.\nWaylon Jennings was beat,\nYet he gave up his seat\nOn the plane crash that killed the Big Bopper.", "id": 23466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your eyes are two differing hues\nAnd your eyebrows, uneven, I'd lose.\nWith your nose out of place,\nWhen describing your face,\nAntigodlin's the word I would use.", "id": 23468, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "English bodies, both biggish and small,\nWere in motion inside of the hall,\nAs the snooker men vied\nFor a pot using side:\nBody English was \"guiding\" the ball.", "id": 23469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My father-in-law, in his casket,\nHad kernels of corn in a basket\nTo honor the ways\nHe had farmed all his days.\nHave a question about him? Just ask it.", "id": 23470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "What a love the old couple expressed:\nSwapped antiques before going to rest!\nHe gave darlingest Meg\nHis old hickory leg.\nHe was thrilled with her big cedar chest.", "id": 23471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "For parades, we embower caladium\nAnd coat its pink leaves with palladium.\nThey shine like fresh snow;\nThen we add to the glow\nWith a delicate dusting of radium.", "id": 23472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "When your hair is trimmed down to a fuzz\nOr a bee makes a noise, that's a buzz\u2014\nAs is drug stimulation,\nOr when the whole nation\nDiscusses what somebody does.", "id": 23473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Gypsy skirts, spirits free, boho ways\nAre a floaty, free, fun fashion phase.\nDeviate from the norm:\nThat's the way to conform.\n\"Come on, we all do it these days!\"", "id": 23475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the hospital, when I was sick,\nI'd felt hopeless but cheered up real quick.\nI was helped by the types\nWho wore pink and white stripes\u2014\nAll those teen volunteers did the trick.", "id": 23476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and SheilaB", "limerick": "Balantidium's one protozoan\nThat in entrails of swine might be growin'.\nIn your own, it's not dull, sirs \u2014\nDigestive-tract ulcers\nOr worse you could be undergoin'.", "id": 23477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You're a bovine old fool, reader. Moo!\nYou're pathetic. I'm speaking to you.\nYou've a nerve and some cheek\nTo think... [That's how we speak\nWhen we castigate others. Don't sue.]", "id": 23478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Will the war in Iraq ever cease?\nOr will terror and bloodshed increase?\nWe must never ignore\nThat in decades before\nThere was Baghdad, the \"City of Peace.\"", "id": 23479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Biomimicry: that's where technology\nCopies nature, for instance, zoology.\nBy studying bats\nWe made sonar, and that's\nQuite inspired and apt methodology.", "id": 23481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "All this black-on-black crime must not be\u2014\nGo and mug someone white (just not me!),\nBut I really am fond\nOf the old Blonde on Blonde\n(No, of course not the porn, the CD).", "id": 23482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kalleh", "limerick": "A booty-full lass, Mrs. Fidgous\nHad wished she were more callipygous.\nThe surgeon was crass,\nAs he slaughtered her ass.\nNow our patient is highly litigious!", "id": 23483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The campsite was rocky and hilly:\nI knew that to camp out was silly.\n'Cause sleep in a sack\nIs not good for my back,\nI awake with an ache \u2014 and I'm chilly.", "id": 23485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When white collar crimes leave a trail\nThat can send their connivers to jail,\nThere are lawyers who're known\nFor their ways to postpone\nA comeuppance, and free them on bail.", "id": 23486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "After Bamberg in Northern Bavaria,\nOr Franken, as we call that area,\nSee W\u00fcrzburg's fine sights.\nFor cuisine that delights,\nTake my tour (so I'll get honoraria)!", "id": 23487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Anti-language, a lexicon muddled,\nBegins when a fringe group is huddled\nTogether but needs\nTo express certain deeds\nIn a way that leaves others befuddled.", "id": 23490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "In the packaging cardboard, unseen,\nThey kept oil in our wheat germ pristine.\nButylated hydroxys\nMutilated (like Moxies)\nAnd damaged the health of a gene.", "id": 23491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "\"Quick-march!\" Sergeant screams, and then sneers:\n\"Will you ever become Infanteers?\"\nThen it pains him to say it\u2014\n\"Break-step!\" Don't delay it;\nThis bridge might collapse round our ears.", "id": 23492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "All my books I must alphabetise,\nSort my socks by their colour and size.\nAnd my CD collection?\nThe index? Perfection!\nI can't help it \u2014 I categorise.", "id": 23493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Were those Kitty Hawk people aware\nOf the epic unfolding out there?\nWhen the Wright brothers flew\nInto history, they knew.\nThe first aeroplane took to the air.", "id": 23494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A dog owner might want to hold\nA traditional party, I'm told:\nA bark mitzvah for Ruff,\nServing liver and stuff,\nShouting, \"Muzzle Tov! Thirteen years old!\"", "id": 23495, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You needn't be snappin' and scoffin',\nAnd rappin' my sleepin' so often.\n'Twuz time for my nappin',\nBut accidents happen,\nLike trappin' myself in that coffin.", "id": 23496, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The musician's symphonic ambition:\nFill a full-philharmonic position;\nBut with wilting derision,\nThe maestro's decision\nRefused him audition permission.", "id": 23497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How Destiny's darlings must hate her!\nShe deserts them all, sooner or later.\nHas your Finger of Fate\nGotten fickle of late?\nAn appropriate trait for a traitor.", "id": 23498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Empty words in abundant supply\u2014\nIt's the mantra you hear when you fly.\nDisembarking the plane,\nThere it goes, once again:\nIt's \"buh-bye\" and \"buh-bye\" and \"buh-bye\".", "id": 23499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Of late, I've been wondering why\nMy calculator hasn't run dry,\nSince by pressing those widgets,\nI waste lots of digits,\nExhausting my number supply.", "id": 23500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "\u00c0 la plage where you want to swim now,\nBut your suit's in your bag \u2014 so then how?\nTo undress in Espa\u00f1a\nYou'd use a caba\u00f1a;\nIn France you just suavely drop trow.", "id": 23501, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Tuesday Weld arrived nameless\u2014the way\nLots of babies did then, so they say.\nMother noted to Dad,\n\"It's the ninth one we've had.\nNo more children. Let's call it a day.\"", "id": 23502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A pill bug is causing O'Keefe,\nWho's a grower of melons, some grief.\nHis casabas have creatures\nWith never-seen features,\nWhich gives him a new lice on leaf.", "id": 23503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bovine's attracted a claque\nWho are awed by the hump on his back.\nThey've been making this newbie,\nA zebu, and zoo be\nThe subjects about which they yak.", "id": 23504, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Japan now commands admiration.\nIts autos reflect innovation.\nEconomically powered,\nThe country has flowered,\nBecoming a bloomin' carnation.", "id": 23505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A carnivore cooking a bear\nHad a plan to remove all the hair,\nSo he stir-fried the game\nIn a lotion whose name\nHad this meat-eater wok-ing on Nair.", "id": 23506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "He was called Capability Brown\n(Adjectival use, this, of a noun),\nThe parks that he planned\nLooked like natural land\nWith \"improvements\" \u2014 and hence his renown.", "id": 23507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In the pool, playing polo, bald Fred\nMade the water \u2014 and faces \u2014 turn red.\nIt embarrassed those guys,\nWith their chlorine-dulled eyes,\nTo have scored a bald goal with Fred's head.", "id": 23508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I don't care for thrillers that frighten\nOr tomes that are meant to enlighten.\nJust bring me a body\nWho'll read me some Noddy:\nIt's scandal I crave\u2014Enid Blyton.", "id": 23509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The doctors in ACOG are givers\nOf care that would give me the shivers.\nWhen you're pregnant, in labor,\nDon't call for your neighbor;\nRemember that ACOG delivers!", "id": 23510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One bumblebee said to the others,\n\"We're all daughters of mighty queen-mother's,\nBut we're not built for mating,\nSo there's no use in waiting\nFor love\u2014no one's asked us our druthers!\"", "id": 23511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It seemed like a very bad scene.\nHe was lost in the desert, between\nLofty mountains\u2014but worst,\nHe had worked up a thirst,\nAnd neglected to bring his canteen.", "id": 23512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In South Africa, named for the Cape,\nIs a beast with a large, hulking shape;\nAnd its broad hairy back\nMay be brownish, or black.\nIf you meet one, I hope you'll escape.", "id": 23513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Adzharia, on the Black Sea\nOnce was Greek (long ago, B.C.E.);\nLater ruled by the Czar,\nThen the U.S.S.R.,\nLost by Georgia, quite soon, it may be.", "id": 23514, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Black grama's American grass\nThat is eaten by cattle.  Alas,\nThey produce milk and meat,\nBut these cattle excrete\nA destructive intestinal gas.", "id": 23515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "If I write about Brian Boru,\nDon't look blank, or politely ask \"Who?\"\nThis Hibernian chief,\nUnlike most, came to grief\nIn his tent.  Bold Sir Brian, adieu!", "id": 23517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My barque has three masts\u2014that's the score\u2014\nSquare-rigged on the main and the fore,\nFore-and-aft on the mizen.\nThe question's arisen:\nWould it help if the masts numbered more?", "id": 23518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're cooking Italian, each feast\nShould have one plate of pasta at least.\nIf the choice drives you potty,\nJust try agnolotti\u2014\nThey're shaped like the hat of a priest.", "id": 23519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Tootsies sweat 'til your socks start to rot?\nAnd your hands are all damp? Tell you what\u2014\nHere's my keen diagnosis:\nAcrohyperhidrosis!\nLet's shake on it! (Well, maybe not...)", "id": 23520, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The almon tree's one that beguiles.\nFrom its wood you can make many styles\nOf home furniture. It's\nVery tall, and it sits\nIn the tropical Philippine isles.", "id": 23521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "When cadaverous Bach burns his pages\nOf music, don't worry.  This \"rage\" is\nNot quite what it seems\n'Cause he cheekily beams:\n\"I've been here, decomposing, for ages!\"", "id": 23522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tom Foolery", "limerick": "Betty Mae sings a daily aubade;\nThat's a greeting, a musical nod\nTo the morn (but not quite,\n'Cause she sings it at night,\nWhich is more than a little bit odd).", "id": 23523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This iron's for barking a tree,\nNot a club used in golf, like a three.\nOne's an implement made\nTo strip bark with its blade,\nWhile the other gets played off a tee.", "id": 23524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a stainable substance that dwells\nIn nucleolar parts of our cells.\nA transposal of basi-\nparachromatin has a\nSurprise: that's a lamprey it spells!", "id": 23525, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We're all brown-bagging here at the club\nSince no liquor is served with the grub.\nThere are setups (a few),\nBut no good Irish stew.\nShould we go to O'Flaherty's Pub?", "id": 23526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Silly rhymes are a favorite of mine;\nThey're a way to make limericks shine:\nI imagine a bitewing\nExposing a right-wing\nConservative's crowns out of line.", "id": 23527, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When boredom begins to appear,\nA repetitive song fills my ear.\nAt a hundred it starts:\nFrom the wall one departs,\nLeaving ninety-nine bottles of beer.", "id": 23529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a contrary, ornery nut\nFor whom arguments never get shut.\nI'm the reason why schools\nHave exceptions to rules.\nI'm a guy who kicks serious \"but.\"", "id": 23530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bulla's a seal made of lead\nOr an imprint of ink colored red.\nOne's affixed to this bull\nThat's on marriage and full\nOf advice from the Pope, who's unwed.", "id": 23531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The atomic electron appears\nIn the music a physicist hears:\nThe harmonics of strings\nForming orbital rings\nIn a Kepler-like music of spheres.", "id": 23532, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bulla's a blister or cyst\nAnd can grow to the size of a fist.\nOn my back, one's inflamed\u2014\nAnd so huge it's been named\nQuasimodo. (I couldn't resist.)", "id": 23533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bucksaw is set in a frame\nIn the shape of an H, but its name\nIsn't meant to imply\nIt's a dollar to buy,\nBut a sawbuck, most woodworkers claim.", "id": 23534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By cracking petroleum, man\nHas produced all the compounds he can.\nHydrocarbons, when heated,\nGive butenes, which (treated)\nMake gas for the family van.", "id": 23535, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I cherish the trees that are floral,\nLike cherry, persimmon, and sorrel.\nWith blooms a bit tardy,\nThe olive is hardy;\nHowever, I cannot stand laurel.", "id": 23536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Belly buttons are nature's reward,\nMarking Mother's umbilical cord.\nThere are outies and innies\nThat mystics and ninnies\nCan gaze at whenever they're bored.", "id": 23537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An astrocyte's simply a cell\nWith the shape of a star, not a bell.\nJust how many there are\nIn my body is far\nFrom determined, as best I can tell.", "id": 23538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bumfight is shown in a flick\nAnd bespeaks of a culture that's sick.\nHomeless men are attacked\nOr encouraged to act\nOut a dangerous stunt for a kick.", "id": 23539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My daughter, who dates a galoot,\nIs plum crazy. The pair wanna scoot\nAnd get hitched in Old Lyme.\nShe's bananas this time!\n\"No, you cantaloupe, dear\u2014he's a fruit!\"", "id": 23540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A moonshiner lives on the cheap,\nPassing time in carousal and sleep.\nThen one day, on a bat,\nHe falls right in the vat.\nAnd that's that, since still waters run deep.", "id": 23541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This food critic's word to the wise\nIs that nothing beats chicken pot pies.\nHaving praised with his pen\nBoth the capon and hen,\nHe's awarded a pullet surprise.", "id": 23542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On the corner, a destitute man\nHas a cup and a desperate plan.\nIt's a dismal ordeal\nTo be down at the heel\nIn a life that is cadge-as-cadge-can.", "id": 23543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's bionics that breeders were keen\nTo employ on the husbandry scene.\nWhen a zebu was bred\nTo an aurochs, it led\nTo the very first zerochs machine.", "id": 23544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The carder has finished unpacking\nHis gear; now it's time to get cracking.\nHe'll soften each strand\nWith his card cloth in hand:\nIt's his instrument's thick leather backing.", "id": 23545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A brush filled with short metal wires\nIs all that a carder requires\nTo comb out the straggles\nFrom wool; then he haggles\nTo avoid being fleeced by suppliers.", "id": 23546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn and Recumbentman", "limerick": "A viola looks naked without\nAny purfling adorning each bout.\nFront and back are inlaid\nBoth for looks, and to aid\nInhibition of splitting, no doubt.", "id": 23547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "The carding machine up in Leeds\nBelches steam while it lustily feeds,\nAnd the card tenters pull\nEndless fibers of wool\nFrom the card can at marvellous speeds.", "id": 23548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a Kenyan savanna that's flat\nLives a reddish-brown, long-legged cat.\nThe caracal hears\nWith his black-tufted ears,\nWhich we humans, if wise, shouldn't pat.", "id": 23550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A hog-farming buddy of mine\nIs an expert at knitting with twine.\nTo the piggies he pitches\nHis fanciest stitches:\nHe loves casting purls before swine.", "id": 23551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've been cannibalizing a Jeep\nTo get plenty of parts on the cheap.\nThough the chassis is shot,\nThere's a roof rack that's hot,\nSo I'm sitting on top of the heap.", "id": 23552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On Air China, I flew from Tibet\nTo Chengdu\u2014not a trip to forget.\nThough the cabin was clean,\nI was soon turning green\nWhen they served us the yak en brochette.", "id": 23553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's cane with a four-part agenda:\nA stem that's both hollow and slenda;\nA rod used for hidin';\nA stick when you're stridin';\nA grass yielding sugar, not Splenda.", "id": 23554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the land of the beans and the cod,\nThe Bostonian doesn't sound odd.\nWhile they're twangin' in Austin,\nThe people of Boston\nAre \"pahking the cah in the yahd.\"", "id": 23555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Every film fan and surfer exalts\nCalifornia and parries assaults\nFrom the critics who doubt\nAnd enjoy pointing out\nThat the state has a great many faults.", "id": 23556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're the type of a southern-fried wench,\nMy dear Scarlett, I've wanted to clench\nTo my bosom, but now\nI will frankly avow:\nI don't give a damn! (Pardon my French.)", "id": 23557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It is clear his career's at its end\nWhen a curveball's above Johnson's bend.\n\"When you ain't got your stuff,\nThen enough is enough\"\nIs a fact all the jocks comprehend.", "id": 23558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A zoologist friend from Osaka\nWrote a poem in praise of the paca.\nBut the critics weren't sure\u2014\nCalled his work immature.\n\"Immature!\" he cried, \"That is just ca-ca!\"", "id": 23559, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you are the marketing czar\nOf your company, and if you are\nOn a search that entails\nWays to double your sales,\nTrade with AFTA, a group from afar.", "id": 23560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're resting, and let your eyes close,\nAnd relaxing in peaceful repose,\nOne is likely to see,\nOn your brain EEG,\nIt's the time when the alpha wave shows.", "id": 23561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The ball test: a check for concrete\nTo decide if the pouring's complete.\nIf the ball sinks too deeply,\nAlthough not done cheaply,\nThe job you may have to repeat.", "id": 23562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Urticata is not really acne;\nStill I hope it'll never attack me.\nThis allergy comes\nTo the lowest of bums\nAnd the finest of men, William Blackney.", "id": 23563, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Doing exercise does me no harm,\nKeeps me healthy, and adds to my charm.\"\nShe displayed without malice\nA firm brachialis\nThat perfectly suited her arm.", "id": 23565, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My nephew just learned how to fly.\nHe loves piloting planes, and a high\nMotivation he's got\u2014\nAn airhead he's not\u2014\nHe's an air-minded kind of a guy.", "id": 23566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Each mother's conviction is firm:\nIt's a genius she's carried to term,\nAnd it just might be true,\nSince all pregnancy's due\nTo the ova achievers (the sperm).", "id": 23567, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A fellow who lived near the Tiber\nAte poorly (a heavy imbiber).\nHis bowels were packed\u2014\nNot impacted, in fact.\nSaid his doctor, \"Eat bran; you need fiber!\"", "id": 23568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A coven of witches in Crewe\nMakes a very fine Anglican stew:\nBoil 'em up, let 'em thicken\nAnd they taste just like Wiccan\u2014\nYou can get them in bulk, by the pew!", "id": 23569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Accidental-type symptoms abound.\nYou've a migraine; your knee has been found\nTo be painful and red\nAs you lie there in bed.\nTo assume they're connected's unsound.", "id": 23570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Two babies named Maggie and Lenny,\nDistinct as two sides of a penny,\nBoth blue (in a way)\nWere born the same day,\nBut their features in common weren't many.", "id": 23571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Engineers took the time to observe\nHow a car body's surface might swerve.\nThough appearing abstruse,\nIt was quick to seduce:\nThey invented the B\u00e9zier curve.", "id": 23572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "A Calvinist gardener grew\nPretty TULIPs\u2014select for the few.\nColored tokens of grace\n(God would save him a place):\nDepraved though he is, he'll get through.", "id": 23573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It must be a hundred and one\nIn the shade; I am not having fun.\nNow my belly has dropped\nAnd my button has popped;\nPlease tell me this turkey is done.", "id": 23574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "It's a slender grooved molding or frame\nMade of rods of cast lead and called came.\nWhether casements or stained,\nGlass that's quarried or paned\nIs held tightly by came, all the same.", "id": 23575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The streams go from trickle to flow\nIn the spring with the melting of snow.\nThis is break up, the time\nWhen most lumberjacks climb\nBack in bed\u2014nature's halted the show.", "id": 23576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "My customers tell me I'm gabby,\nBut it's fun and the pay's not too shabby.\nI may drive like I'm blind\u2014\nScare you out of your mind\u2014\nBut it's part of the grind; I'm a cabbie.", "id": 23577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There's a song (this is true, non-believer!)\n'Bout the pelt of a waterway weaver\nAnd the head where it sat\n(Yes, the subject's old hat),\nIn which Burns demands \"cock up your beaver\".", "id": 23578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "What's a bugaboo, bugbear or bug?\nIt's a bogeyman (mythical thug);\nA dread chore that's a wrench;\nA b\u00eate noire (from the French);\nOr a bogey that makes you go \"Ugh!\".", "id": 23579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My neighbor is so antigun\nAny story with firearms he'll shun,\nSo he rants at TV,\nAnd hates newspapers; he\nAs a friend isn't really much fun.", "id": 23580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Catecholamines also include\nWhat's called dopamine, vital for mood,\nAnd disturbed in addiction\u2014\nThat oddball affliction\nOf those who are chronically stewed.", "id": 23581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amphoterism: this is a quality\nSome chemists consider frivolity.\nThough it may interface\nAs an acid or base,\nThe hydroxyl embraces with jollity.", "id": 23582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the power grid fails, and the size\nOf the sector that's dark by surprise\nIs substantial, and light\nIs lost more than one night,\nNine months later the birth rate should rise.", "id": 23583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Catecholamines: neurotransmitters\nAnd hormones I'd call heavy hitters.\nThey reach a great height\nWhen we choose \"fight-or-flight,\"\nOr we're anxious and having the jitters.", "id": 23584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There is Capricorn up in the sky!\nIn the Zodiac, where does he lie?\nHe's beside Sagittarius\nAnd next to Aquarius\u2014\nHe's a goat and a horny old guy.", "id": 23585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since this lump in my neck seems to loiter,\nMy doctor will soon reconnoiter.\nIt's ectopic\u2014this gland\nThat saw fit to expand\u2014\nSo he'll call it an aberrant goiter.", "id": 23586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've got anginophobia: fear\nThat a seizure of heart pain is near\u2014\nAnd I'll feel in my chest\nThat it's being compressed\nLike I'm under an elephant's rear.", "id": 23587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a Cambrian-era vacation,\nBiologists skip recreation.\nThey're earning their spurs\nWhen explosion occurs\nAnd all phyla commence radiation.", "id": 23588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My proposal has got approvability;\nIt is planned with finesse and agility,\nBut the House and the Senate\nMust vote for it; then it\nWon't end as unvarnished futility.", "id": 23589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Every night, when I'm starting to snore,\nI revisit a dream I adore,\nWhere Italian battalions,\nAll mounted on stallions,\nAttack Spanish galleons (make war).", "id": 23590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a pond in the shade of a park\nPaddle dabblers whose plumage is dark.\nThese are black ducks, oft taken\nFor mallards who make, in\nThe lakes of the prairie, their mark.", "id": 23591, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aulophobia's fear of the flute;\nI've a case that's severe and acute.\nJust the thought makes me cringe,\nBut I really unhinge\nAnd go ape at the very first toot.", "id": 23592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Every \"carrottopped\" guy that I've seen\nHas got bright orange hair on his bean.\nBut whenever I chop\nOff a real carrot top,\nIt's the part that's not orange but green.", "id": 23593, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Archaeology's risky, I hear,\nBecause sifting the finds that appear\nIn the middens of yore\nIs a backbreaking chore \u2014\nSifters strain themselves sometimes, I fear.", "id": 23594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "There's an eight-foot-two giant named Grant\nWho's in love with his four-foot-one aunt.\nAlthough love, people say,\nAlways can find a way,\nGrant has told me himself that it can't.", "id": 23595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It was not, on old narrowboats, drab in\nThe family's cramped boatman's cabin.\nLovely brasses and laces\nAdorned the small spaces\nThe bargeman's proud wife gave him gab in.", "id": 23596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The snake's just a head with a tail,\nShowing parts neither female nor male,\nSo we cannot but vex it\nWhen having to sex it\nBy tactile techniques used in braille.", "id": 23597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The freedom of bachelorhood palls,\nAnd the lure of your honeymoon calls,\nSo anigh to Niag'ra,\nToo high on Viagra,\nYou're driving too close to the Falls.", "id": 23598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the pet shop I stopped as I shopped,\nBut that floppy-eared pup had been chopped:\nEars and tail had been lopped,\nAnd his hair had been cropped,\nLeaving too little dog to adopt.", "id": 23599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To the smelliest fellows give thanks\nFor the stenches in trenches and tanks.\nBut in cavalry forces,\nThe sources are horses\u2014\nThe reason it reeks in the ranks.", "id": 23600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "With a blade, mark your name into ice;\nIt will melt into water, each slice.\nCarve your name into stone;\nIt will stay there, alone,\nFor a long geological trice.", "id": 23601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The sandals I sell at my shop\nAre just soles with two straps on the top.\nStill I give 'em a shine\nOn my buffing wheel, line\n'Em up nicely, and hope they don't flop.", "id": 23603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bulldog's the mascot of Yale,\nA symbol the Whiffenpoofs hail\n(In music and stories\nFrom tables at Mory's)\nFor making the tiger turn tail.", "id": 23604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A biologist goes to the mall\nTo examine the lives, big and small,\nOf the gals who are shopping\nWithout even stopping\nOr dropping\u2014buyologists all!", "id": 23605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "After finishing shaping and lathing\nThe wood, I was ripe for some bathing.\nBut the soap I'd had shipped\nWas so caustic, it stripped\nOff a layer of skin\u2014it was scathing.", "id": 23606, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A buckbean sits shrouded in fog\nNear a log in a Buckingham bog.\nWith three leaves and racemes\n(Purplish flowers), it seems\nUndisturbed by the ribbeting frog.", "id": 23607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A stiff-finished fabric of cotton\nIs buckram, for clothes long forgotten;\nAnd as cover and spine\nOf a book, it works fine,\nLike my thesis on Egypt's Ikhnaton.", "id": 23608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For Ms. Arthur, it's sass that's the key\u2014\nAcid wit to the highest degree.\nOn the Golden Girls show,\nAs the actresses know,\nIt ain't honey that powers that Bea.", "id": 23609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A con man is raking in dough\nWith a capper named Haley, a pro.\nBut a cop blows the scam\n(Puts the crooks on the lam),\nWhen he notices Haley's M.O.", "id": 23610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a corner who likes to defend\nAgainst wideouts and hold up my end.\nWhen I charge the QB,\nThen one blitzer is me.\nIt's the passer I plan to upend.", "id": 23611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At parties, my hubby's the bomb,\nPulling practical jokes with aplomb.\nIf he's shaking your hand,\nThen a shock has been planned\nWith the buzzer he's put in his palm.", "id": 23612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A blue stellar object behaves\nRather oddly: no radio waves\nGet emitted\u2014which means\nThat recordings of Queen's\nWon't be playing tonight at the raves.", "id": 23613, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Body-centered, this atom's inside\nOf the crystal and fit to be tied\u2014\nTo its corners, all eight,\nEach adorned with a mate.\n(That's one lattice whose status I've eyed.)", "id": 23614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Burgomasters are mayors who touch\nOn the daily affairs of the Dutch:\nTheir aversions and likes\u2014\nWhether tulips or dikes\nOr their cheeses, like Gouda and such.", "id": 23615, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "All the kids come around and they blare:\n\"It's your donkey we all want to share,\nPlus your tire on a rope!\"\nThey're excited and hope\nFor a ride on a swing and a brayer.", "id": 23616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bearing tree sits in a stand,\nAnd upon it is noted what's planned.\nThe surveyors have left,\nAnd we'll soon be bereft\n'Cause they won't leave a tree on this land.", "id": 23617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A brazenfaced Clinton denies\nEver fooling around, then replies,\nTo a question on sex,\nThat in certain respects\n\"It depends on what 'is' is.\" (He lies.)", "id": 23618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A beach bum has stolen a batch\nOf sardines from a trawlerman's hatch.\nWhen the harbor patrol\nSpots him out on a shoal,\nOff he surfs, after waiving the catch.", "id": 23619, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He packed up his things in a trunk,\nMade no noise, left the bedroom, and slunk\nDown the stairs past the cat,\nOut the door\u2014that was that.\nWho'd a thunk he'd be doing a bunk?", "id": 23620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though this writer's ostensible topic\nIs creatures, his stories Aesopic\n(On tortoises, sables,\nAnd foxes) are fables\nWhose morals are plainly anthropic.", "id": 23621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They calibrate watches, these guys.\nThen they wait for the runners to rise\nAnd take off at the crack\nOf the gun down the track.\nThey're the souls who are timing men's tries.", "id": 23622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The harvests of sugar crops wane\nAfter many a month without rain,\nSo the farmers of Nod\nAsk for blessings from God.\nAnd the Lord sets a mark-up on cane.", "id": 23623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'll be adding an Ex-Lax or two\nTo these brownies I'm making for you.\nYou've been secretly taking\nThe cakes I've been baking.\nHave fun when you run to the loo.", "id": 23624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Abu-Ghraib is a place I deplore\n(Think mistreatment of prisoners of war).\nI'm not making excuses\nFor soldiers' abuses,\nBut al-Qaeda has brutalized more.", "id": 23625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A button man acts on the wishes\nOf Mafia bosses; he dishes\nOut pain for the mob\nIn a low-ranking job.\nYou refuse him, you sleep with the fishes.", "id": 23626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If a birth mother's life is a bust,\nAn adoption is\u2014sometimes\u2014a must.\nShe could give up her baby,\nMove onward (though maybe\nShe'd never completely adjust).", "id": 23627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "With its movable, segmented pair\nOf antennae, an insect knows where\nAll its pals can be found\n(By their smell or their sound)\nAnd what's coming (by movements of air).", "id": 23628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The higher the butterfat goes\nIn the ice cream I eat, I suppose,\nThen the better the chance\nI'll be buying new pants\nAs the fatter the butt on me grows.", "id": 23629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're skinny and scrawny and lean;\nNot a smidgen of flesh can be seen.\nBeing bony, at night\nYou can pass by a light,\nAnd it acts like an x-ray machine!", "id": 23630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The breakfasters eating today\nWere expecting a lavish buffet,\nBut there's only one egg\n(Costs an arm and a leg)\nAnd a juice at this ritzy chalet.", "id": 23631, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Using junk from my cluttered garage,\nI have planned for a grand vernissage.\nMy exhibit is free\nAnd you're welcome to see\nHow debris can become bricolage.", "id": 23632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Associational concepts are wry,\nBe they made with the ear or the eye.\nYou read \"chick\" and think \"pecks.\"\nI hear \"chick\" and think \"sex.\"\nSo it goes for a gal and a guy.", "id": 23633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bowlegged fellow sees beauty in\nA large-breasted, thong-wearing cutie in\nA Commonwealth isle,\nSo he flashes a smile.\nHe's a bandy and randy Bermudian.", "id": 23634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Stephen Breyer's a judge on a court\nThat Americans like to support\nWhen we think a decision\nAccords with our vision\u2014\nLike, say, it's okay to abort.", "id": 23635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The binding of feet hit its stride\nWhen in China it served to provide\nA young woman a trace\nOf imperial grace.\nMany girls, many feet to be tied.", "id": 23636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This American songbird's a pest;\nWhere there's rice, he's an unwanted guest.\nStill the bobolink sings\nEvery place that he wings\u2014\nNorth and south he refeathers his nest.", "id": 23637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The backcut's his last cut of all\u2014\nOn the opposite side of the fall.\nHe will hack at the tree,\nGive a push, and it's free.\nThen the logger makes \"Timber!\" his call.", "id": 23638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Haiti, you knock on the door\nOf a witch doctor called the bokor.\nYou try to be calm\u2014be\nComposed when a zombie\nResponds, offers rum, starts to pour.", "id": 23639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The boundary marked by the trees\nThat are blazed with those hatchet-hewn V's\nIs the back line, which shows\nJust how far felling goes.\nUp to that, loggers cut as they please.", "id": 23640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are tariffs and levies on gas\nPaid by people regardless of class,\nBut those high-ranking folks\nSpouting gas are such jokes\nThat it's time we get down to tax brass.", "id": 23641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"The full-figured woman, c'est moi,\"\nJane Russell points out with \u00e9clat.\n\"My biggest successes\nAre under my dresses\nIn Playtex's cross-your-heart bra.\"", "id": 23642, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cross-sectional slice of a tree\n(In square feet) to the logger is key.\nIt's the area known\nAs the basal and shown\nTo predict how much lumber there'll be.", "id": 23643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Being clever's a glorious trait\nAnd explains your promotions to date;\nBut such brightness can wear\nOn your colleagues\u2014take care!\nTone it down or you're getting the gate.", "id": 23644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "First my girlfriend is sexy and bold,\nThen she chooses for days to withhold.\nThen she turns up the heat,\nThen it's back to cold feet.\nIn the bedroom, she blows hot and cold.", "id": 23645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biological agents, we've heard,\nWill be weapons that can't be deterred.\nBioterror's a threat\nFrom Al-Qaeda, and yet\nNot a single attack has occurred.", "id": 23646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The minister's sermon was wooly,\nA boisterous message meant fully\nTo urge and exhort\nWomen not to abort.\nHe was using his pulpit to bully.", "id": 23647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a deer showing brio and pluck\nBy outrunning the herd in the ruck,\nThereby catching the eye\nOf a doe, by the by,\nWho is looking to make a fast buck.", "id": 23648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the rear of the barrel's the breech.\nFurther back on the shotgun, you reach\nFor the buttstock, the part\nThat will buck when you start\nBlasting buckshot at birds in that beech.", "id": 23649, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Like the jam and the jelly I eat,\nApple butter's deliciously sweet.\nIt's my favorite spread,\nGood on biscuits and bread\u2014\nAn incredible, edible treat.", "id": 23650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Black boxes survive and retain\nInformation on what leads a plane\nTo decide it won't fly\nAnd drop out of the sky.\nThese devices, we trust, aren't in vain.", "id": 23651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the auction, I'm loaded for bear;\nIt's a \"caveat emptor\" affair.\nSo I'm purchasing junk\u2014\nA white elephant's trunk!?\nWho'da thunk they meant buyer beware?", "id": 23652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The pedants disdain and decry\nOne expression on which I rely.\nLet grammarians balk\nAt the way that I talk!\nThey're all ninnies (between you and I).", "id": 23653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A broadcaster works in TV\nFor a network whose programs are free.\nIf an image he sends\nThrough the airwaves offends,\nHe'll be fined by that fool FCC.", "id": 23654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An affectionate cat's my Burmese;\nWith his whiskers, he tickles my knees.\nHe has satiny hair\nTinted sable, a pair\nOf gold eyes, and a passion to please.", "id": 23655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the type in consecutive lines\nIs made flush by the printer's designs\nAt the left or the right\nSo it pleases the sight,\nIt's been blocked. (That's the word this defines.)", "id": 23656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My body mechanics are bad\n'Cause my exercise regimen's had\nMe supine on the couch\nWatching Oscar the Grouch\nOn the tube in my bachelor pad.", "id": 23657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The beluga had flourished with ease\nIn the Black and the Caspian Seas,\nBut a market was surgin'\nFor roe from these sturgeon\nAs fans went on caviar sprees.", "id": 23658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There were blooms peeking out of concrete\nWhen the butterweed grew on our street,\nAnd the yellow outside\nThrough the window we eyed\nWas the color of butter we'd eat.", "id": 23659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bulbil's a bulb, only smaller,\nA bud on a creeper or crawler\u2014\nA deciduous thing\nThat will blossom to bring\nUs a flower when spring is a caller.", "id": 23660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Being bush-league, you're lacking in class\u2014\nMediocre, a bit of an ass,\nLike that nitwit and bore\nWho says \"nucular war\"\nAnd whose prattle is natural gas.", "id": 23661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Is a bullhead an obstinate twit?\nNo, it's not. It's a catfish, to wit:\nA freshwater sculpin\nI've taken to gulpin'\nWith shrimp from my barbeque pit.", "id": 23662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They were twisting the necks of the steers\nAnd then dragging them down to our cheers.\nYes, the bulldoggers wowed\nThe whole rodeo crowd,\nThough at times they got knocked on their rears.", "id": 23663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a pontiff is dyed-in-the-wool,\nSolemn letters he writes will be full\nOf conservative views.\nWere it gossipy news,\nWould you say that he's shooting the bull?", "id": 23664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife and I nightly contend\nWhile deciding what money to spend.\nI'm the budgeter\u2014she's\nAt the malls on her sprees,\nDaily buying whatever they vend.", "id": 23665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An herbaceous perennial grows\nBy the roadside, this flutterer knows.\nSee the monarch alight,\nLay its eggs, and take flight;\nWatch the butterfly weed-eating shows.", "id": 23666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I purchase a thoroughbred horse;\nHe's the fastest I've seen at the course.\nThen I race him a lot,\nBut he doesn't win squat,\nSo I'm suffering buyer's remorse.", "id": 23668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm the buckthorn, a nettlesome tree,\nAnd diversity isn't for me.\nI put maples through hell\n(Kick some aspen, as well).\nWhere I grow, oaks and underbrush flee.", "id": 23669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those bloodstains weren't hard to remove.\nUsing salt and ammonia, you've\nDone a credible job;\nSo you're in with the mob,\n'Cause the cops now have nothing to prove.", "id": 23670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bull rush may settle a score\nWith a nettlesome toreador,\nWhile this bullrush (a sedge\nIn the pond, by its edge)\nHas no nettles, but spikelets galore.", "id": 23671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a chef, the legumes in tureens\nAre the key to his kitchen's cuisines.\nIf you ask, he'll deny it;\nHe's keeping it quiet\u2014\nAnd simply not spilling the beans.", "id": 23672, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bugleweed's one of the mints\nWith medicinal uses, like stints\nAs a semi-exotic\nAnd gentle narcotic.\nIts styptic can make people wince.", "id": 23673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This valve has a couple of clappers.\nThey're hinged so they function like flappers.\nWater stops when they close.\nWhen they're open, it flows.\nAre there butterfly valves in our crappers?", "id": 23674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The ministers meeting at bureaux\nIn Brussels are smoking maduros,\nEngaged in debate\nOver matters of state\nAnd the price of tobacco (in Euros).", "id": 23675, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This brushland is covered with scrub,\nNot a fully grown bush or a shrub.\nVegetation you see\nRuns from puny to wee\u2014\nIt's been chewed by my cows to the nub.", "id": 23676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Black Sea bound, with a cargo of phosphorus,\nWe were boarded and bound in the Bosphorus.\nBut these Turks disagreed\nAs to how to proceed\nAnd the two pirate camps chose to toss for us.", "id": 23678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bearer of tidings is one\nWho is carrying news, like The Sun,\nWhile the bearers of caskets\nAnd flowers in baskets\nAccompany lives that are done.", "id": 23679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "\"Baby, what would you do for a buck?\"\nHe asked, clearly hoping for luck.\nSo I gave him a wink,\nAnd I said, \"Did you think\nFor a dollar, this last line would rhyme?!\"", "id": 23680, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "My card's swallowed up by the cashpoint!\nBank computers have too low a crash-point.\nI can't get my money,\nI don't find it funny,\nMy temper is reaching its flashpoint...", "id": 23681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A canvasback's paddling south\nIn a river depleted by drouth,\nWhen he's met by a fox\nLicking chops on the rocks.\nSoon the duck will be down in the mouth.", "id": 23683, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An avian veterinarian\n(A certified non-vegetarian)\nIs flying today\nWith a vulture fillet,\nSo he's carryin' carry-on carrion.", "id": 23684, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a buddy I'd like you to meet\u2014\nMr. Lector, who lives down the street.\nIf you happen to quiz 'im\nOn cannibalism,\nHe'll tell you we are what we eat.", "id": 23685, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Elizabeth's pressed to renounce\nThe betrayals, as evidence mounts\nOf her carnal affairs.\nBut when charged, she declares,\n\"Tell you what, let me weigh all the counts.\"", "id": 23686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The fruit of the vine makes my day,\nBe it claret, Chablis, or ros\u00e9.\nDitch the beer and the rum;\nGo with wine, my old chum,\nBecause life is a fine cabernet.", "id": 23687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Every evening my ungulate Sam'll\nAct up. He's a mischievous mammal.\nSo I stable him down\nBy the far side of town.\nYes, I'm walking a mile for a camel.", "id": 23689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "William's children were canny and cool,\nCutting class, playing Dad for the fool;\nSo the archer objected\nWhen teachers directed\nThe tailing of Tells out of school.", "id": 23690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a bull session, steers sit around,\nAnd informal opinions abound:\n\"I hate working the plow.\"\n\"I like Bessy the cow.\"\n\"All those toreadors should be drowned!\"", "id": 23691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All those rhymes critics like to impugn\nAs bromidic, banal, and jejune\nSpeak the language of love,\nLike the doves up above\nWho are crooning a honeymoon tune.", "id": 23692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "'Twixt Russia and Germany sits\nA country that's taken some hits.\nKeeping powers at bay,\nPoland asks when it may\nCall this buffer state ritual quits.", "id": 23693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Attached to the plow we've displayed\nIs a bull tongue, a very wide blade.\nIt exhibits its worth\nFor the tiller of earth\nWhen the crop that he harvests is weighed.", "id": 23694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The chef just resigned (what a schnook),\nTook the pans and the recipe book.\nBut our diners must eat,\nSo I'm braced for the heat\nAnd accinging myself to be cook.", "id": 23695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When your osteal problems are numerous,\nBut none is malignantly tumorous,\nThe docs like to rib ya\nWith jokes on the tibia.\n(Bone mots, I suppose, can be humerus.)", "id": 23696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Yes, the bush basil's fine for ragout\nAnd for salads and seasonings, too.\nIt's an annual herb\u2014\nSomewhat sweet, not acerb.\nUnlike bay leaves, this basil's faboo!", "id": 23697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since her ovaries haven't a dreg,\nFor an embryo implant she'll beg.\nBut it's way out of hand\nWhen one costs twenty grand.\nThat's an arm and a leg for an egg!", "id": 23698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A caprice is a product of whimsy,\nWhose rational basis is flimsy\u2014\nLike writing a verse\nOn the Jabberwock's curse\nUsing brillig, galumphing, and mimsy.", "id": 23699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All the Russians who live in Rostov\nEye an anthracite statue and scoff.\nIt's a piece of fine art,\nBut the mayor is smart,\nSo he's hauling the coal thing right off.", "id": 23700, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Pull the lace ends with all that you've got.\nIntertwine them and cinch at a spot.\nMake a loop, then a wrap.\nPush it through; it's a snap!\nNow your shoe's tied\u2014believe it or knot.", "id": 23701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "While reading the Catholic Epistles,\nA nun teaching Bible class bristles\nAs pupils tear pages\nFrom letters by sages\nTo fashion their high-flying missals.", "id": 23703, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Just a klutz, as inept as they come,\nI have legs now atremble and numb.\nThis abasic condition\nHas ruined my mission\u2014\nTo prove I can walk and chew gum.", "id": 23704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A car rental company flirts\nWith disaster; they're losing their shirts.\nCompetition is tight,\nAnd when nothing goes right,\nThey discover that bankruptcy Hertz.", "id": 23705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm my uncle's attorney-in-fact\nSince we learned that the old boy is cracked,\nSo I tend his affairs,\nBuy him bonds, sell his shares;\nIn his stead I can legally act.", "id": 23706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The hospital's studies have shown\nOsteologists sadly are prone\nTo so little demand\nThat they all should be canned.\nWe'll be cutting our costs to the bone.", "id": 23707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A boychick is not what you think\u2014\nSay, a kid who wears both blue and pink.\nHe's a boy and that's all,\n'Cause the suffix means \"small\"\n(From the Yiddish for -y after dink).", "id": 23708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Greta Garbo, when called on the phone,\nWas thought to have cried with a groan,\n\"Autophobia's bad.\nIt's a problem I've had.\nI don't vont to be left all alone!\"", "id": 23709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though I'm failing in Lit, I'm a fighter.\nIt's important to me, as a writer.\nI've decided to cram\nFor my final exam,\nSo I'm ready to pull an all-nighter.", "id": 23710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though a pale winter's dawn may be splendid,\nIt's freezing \u2014 has night really ended?\nI'm glad I'm awake\nAs the day starts to break,\nBut I sure hope the sunshine gets mended!", "id": 23711, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Thanks to bees, this small insect can thrive;\nFar from bees, it would never survive.\nThis wee bug's called a bee louse;\nIt lives in a bee house\nBy parasitizing the hive.", "id": 23712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A pastry chef worked in Berlin,\nAnd adored his antique baker's pin.\nWith a mind-set devout,\nHe would roll his dough out,\nAnd that dough kept his dough rolling in.", "id": 23713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you've anthropophobia, you're\nToo afraid to proceed through your door.\nBecause human society\nEngenders anxiety,\nYou seldom go out any more.", "id": 23715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bamboo rice, when initially seen,\nLooks like rice, but its color is green\u2014\nNot as green as a pear\nOr an haricot vert,\nBut as green as a green lima bean.", "id": 23716, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you want to make money, I'd say\nTry a stock that is called asset play.\nIts price may be under\nIts value\u2014I wonder\nHow pricing can happen this way.", "id": 23717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I surely don't mean to confuse\nWith my antimaterialist views.\nMy spirituality\nRules my mentality.\nMy yacht just arrived\u2014let's go cruise.", "id": 23718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That hairdo is quite a sensation.\nI'd like to express approbation.\nYou've placed your reliance\nOn the marvels of science\u2014\nA biomimetic creation!", "id": 23719, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The baris (a tale of upheavals\u2014\nA man goes to war to fight evils)\nIs a dance, Balinese;\nBut make note, if you please,\nIt is also a genus of weevils.", "id": 23720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some beryls are natural gemstones,\nNot synthetics-I-like-to-condemn stones.\nMajor bucks they will bring\nIn a necklace or ring;\nYou will find lots of money in them stones.", "id": 23721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've a house on an isle, near a bridge,\nFar away from mosquito or midge.\nI will tolerate neither\u2014\nNo earthquakes here either\u2014\nMy isle's on an aseismic ridge.", "id": 23722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Just consider a reptile or bird,\nOr a mammal that's part of a herd\u2014\nThey have embryos wrapped\nIn a membrane that's apt.\nWhat's their name? Amniota's the word.", "id": 23723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Bet your life\" is a perilous thought.\nCertain wagers with danger are fraught.\nIf you bet you'll arrive\nBefore five, and you drive,\nAnd you race, you'll be killed or get caught.", "id": 23724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Can you name a volcano-made clay,\nThat was formed long ago, far away?\nIf your mind's analytic,\nYou'll say bentonitic:\nWith Al and Si, it's OK!", "id": 23725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm so dizzy, I can't read a line;\nMy heart pounds, I can't breathe, but I pine.\nWith the symptoms above\u2014\nDiagnosis? In love!\nAnd this verse? An accessory sign.", "id": 23726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His apartment was dusty and dim,\nAll his furniture grungy and grim;\nSo I artified that\nDank and dingy old flat\u2014\nHow I wish I could artify him!", "id": 23728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Biorhythms react to the light\nOf the day and the dark of the night.\nThey're controlling our drives\nAnd affecting our lives\u2014\nAll the time, out of mind, out of sight.", "id": 23729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It expresses frustration quite well; it\nReflects the pet peeves you can't quell; it\nIs heard everywhere\nAs a sign of despair.\nSo then aargh! Why can't anyone spell it?", "id": 23730, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Helped my boy with his chores at the zoo,\nCleaning cages and animal poo.\nWhen he noted I'd skipped\nThe last bovid, I quipped,\n\"There is nothing, son, under the gnu.\"", "id": 23731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "To discover life's purpose you yearn?\nMr. Bennet has words you should learn:\nOur lives are, in short,\nTo give other folks sport,\n\"And to make fun of them in our turn.\"", "id": 23732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "In the Garden of Eden one night,\nHorny Eve, with no fig leaf in sight,\nAsked, \"You wanna give in\nTo that sweet taste of sin?\"\nExclaimed Adam, enamored, \"I'll bite!\"", "id": 23733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A black hole isn't much of a sight,\nFor intense gravitational might\nMakes it dark, I recall,\nBecause nothing at all\nCan escape from it, not even light.", "id": 23734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "CruzerX", "limerick": "Alexander thought Tyre no trouble,\nAnd, filling the sea up with rubble,\nA causeway he built\nAnd the Tyrians killt\u2014\nLeaving only his road and some stubble.", "id": 23735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Aeolic's the language they speak\n(Or spoke, since it's now ancient Greek).\nThough once used by many,\nYou'll not now find any\nIn Aeolis, wherever you seek.", "id": 23736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The Augean stables: a place\nOf muck, and an utter disgrace,\nWere filthy and dirty\nFor years (they say thirty!),\nAs Hercules found in this case.", "id": 23737, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "I wanted to show off my beau,\nBut I hadn't the money to geau\nTo a fancy caf\u00e9\nOr a downtown soiree \u2014\nSo we went to a cinema sheau.", "id": 23738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the dinosaur chased him that day,\nThe cave dweller hurried away\nYelling, \"Dinosaur meat\nIs my favorite treat\u2014\nIf you catch me, you're Bronto souffl\u00e9!\"", "id": 23739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Said the White House aide, \"Sir, please decide\nWhat music the band should provide.\nDo you want something light,\nOr is Haydn alright?\"\n\"It sure is,\" said George. \"Let's go hide.\"", "id": 23740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "By refusing the drugs, I'm ascetic\u2014\nNot numb to an art that's cosmetic.\nThe surgical flair\nThat I'll witness in there\nIn a sense will become an aesthetic.", "id": 23741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman and sallycello", "limerick": "A word and the thing that it shows\nAre related\u2014but how? No one knows.\nPrimal fact, or convention?\nSuch bones of contention\nHave had people coming to blows.", "id": 23742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Lots of India's film fans, I'd say,\nMust regret the changed name of Bombay:\nFor those who think Bollywood\nReally was jolly good,\nMullywood's short on cachet.", "id": 23743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm attempting, by busting a gut,\nTo escape and get out of my rut.\nThat's my goal and it's near\u2014\nLike the Bard tells us, \"Here\nIs my journey's end, here is my butt.\"", "id": 23744, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's the target of scorn and abuse,\nAnd he's frequently told to vamoose.\nHe's the butt of the jokes\nFrom us regular folks\u2014\nAnd he's putting his head in a noose.", "id": 23745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are body blows thrown in the ring\u2014\nThey're permitted when pugilists swing.\nBut a punch that is felt\nMuch below a man's belt\nIs taboo for the pain it can bring.", "id": 23746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Bulgarian's middle-aged spread\nGarners fame, to his countrymen's dread:\nHe's a round-the-clock slouch\nAnd attached to his couch,\nWhich they're calling a Sofia bed.", "id": 23747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When her candidacy was announced,\nThe incumbent's machine quickly pounced.\nIt was loaded for bear\nAnd had money to spare.\nAt the polls she was thoroughly trounced.", "id": 23748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're a cad who's seen fit to demand\nI go out on a date that you've planned.\nDon't be having a cow,\nBut what part is it now\nOf N-O that you don't understand?", "id": 23749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In my card-playing days as a girl,\nBack in Brooklyn with Effie and Shirl,\nWhen we couldn't agree\nWhat the rules were to be,\nWe resolved it according to Hoyle.", "id": 23750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Autonomous Region's the way\nThe Chinese are referring today\nTo the country Tibet,\nBut with little regret\nThat Tibetans they rule have no say.", "id": 23752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a guy who is tall (that's the best height)\nWith muscles that bulge under stress\u2014tight\nAnd sinewy, buffed.\nSo who cares if he's stuffed\nIn a dress? He's a hunky transvestite.", "id": 23753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Brass knuckles are wonderful things,\nGiving fingers protection with rings.\nThey're simply quite dandy\nFor clocking a candy-\nass sucker who stands up and sings.", "id": 23754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the third cup of coffee I'm on\nAnd my bladder is killin' me, Con.\nTell that knucklehead Annan\nHe oughta be plannin'\nThat next time we meet in the john.", "id": 23755, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Scotsman out tossing his caber's\nRefining his skill as he labors.\nBut it's also dismaying\nBecause he's displaying\nWhat's under his kilt to the neighbors.", "id": 23756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In wickerwork, caners might cleave\nTheir rattan and malacca, then weave\nThem together in ways\nThat will simply amaze,\nMaking chairs clientele can't believe.", "id": 23757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Harry Truman was moved to confess\nTo his daughter of Mother's distress.\n\"Have no fear, Margaret dear,\nFor the buck will stop here;\nShe'll get better. Your father knows Bess.\"", "id": 23758, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A conductor, exerting his pull,\nBribes a Brangus with payment in full\nTo evaluate tones\nOf cornets and trombones.\nNow he's taking the horns by the bull.", "id": 23759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris Young", "limerick": "A preamble of boilerplate text\nLeaves some clients bewildered and vexed.\nThough the formal bit's needed,\nOur lawyer's conceded\nWhat's operative mainly comes next.", "id": 23760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a forest in Britain, a bloke\nStuck his head out a window to smoke.\nSeeing smoke, passing strangers\nCalled fire-fighting rangers,\nWho sprayed with their hose, as a joke.", "id": 23761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "When your knight moved in front of your queen,\nAt first sight, 'twas the worst move I'd seen.\nAnd it got me to wondering,\n\"A trap? Or he's blundering?\"\nAre you crafty or really that green?", "id": 23762, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My friend likes to lay on a spread;\nMy friend is two slices of bread\nWith butter and bacon\nOr jam inly taken.\nButtered buddy?  No, butty instead.", "id": 23764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "When felines take flight, they're a blur,\nYowling cannonballs covered with fur.\nI cried out, \"It's insane!\"\nThe vet said, \"It's humane,\nBut you must use a catapult, sir.\"", "id": 23765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Calibration compares a device\nTo a standard that's proven precise.\nIt's how plants can attest\nProcess gear's at its best.\nFor an audit, no less will suffice.", "id": 23766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "To explore in large ships was proved daft.\nLighter ships were the key.  Shallow draft\nLet them sail close to shore,\nSearch new rivers and more.\nNimble caravels \u2014 class of these craft.", "id": 23768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When there's only one sea, it's a tease;\nI'd like two for my holiday, please.\nI prefer to cavort\nIn that type of resort:\nBismarine, meaning \"washed by two seas.\"", "id": 23769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The kiltmaker's output's terrific:\nHe's fruitful, productive, prolific.\nThe Scots, being earthy,\nPrefer the term birthy.\nNot me, though. It sounds too specific.", "id": 23770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Her rejection of fun was excused,\nFor bereavement had left her so bruised:\nWhen colonial sultanas\nTripped up on bananas,\nVictoria wasn't amused.", "id": 23771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "The bottomlessness of the pit\nIs thus so that Satan can sit\nIn judgement on sinners\n(The losers, not winners),\nAnd he needs lots of room so they fit.", "id": 23772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Sean O'Farrell exclaimed with alarm, \"A fight?\nWith a ballot box, boys, and a Carmelite!\"\n\"You fools! It's a gun\nThat you need, not a nun!\"\nWhispered Seamus. \"He said: bring your Armalite.\"", "id": 23773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If watching the moves of a cat,\nAs it wriggles like this and like that,\nLets you see what's ahead\n(\"Should I just stay in bed?\"),\nYou've ailuromancy down pat.", "id": 23774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When in astrapophobia's grip,\nYou might quake at a rainstorm's first drip,\nFor the lightning you fear\nIs most certainly near.\nYou had better go cancel your trip.", "id": 23775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "My favorite dog's the Welsh Corgi.\nI've two, which are named Bess and Porgy.\nOne's Pembroke, one's Cardigan,\nBut (phew!) if they fart again,\nThey're both getting kicked out the dorgi!", "id": 23776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catecholamines benefit chaps\nWhom, ill-fatedly, Parkinson's zaps.\nLevodopa can ease\nSuch a chronic disease,\nHelping impulses cross the synapse.", "id": 23777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Applesauce comes in a jar.\nIt is given to babies who are\nFond of fruit that is sweet,\nAnd to patients to eat\nIn the hospital\u2014when under par.", "id": 23778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Capetian refers to the France\nThat from Hugh Capet's time would advance,\nMore than three hundred years;\nAt that time, it appears,\nCame the end of its royal romance.", "id": 23780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The recorder will run for three days,\nAs we test every programming phase.\nWe'll eliminate quirks\nThat can gum up the works\nAnd ensure, with this burn-in, it plays.", "id": 23781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He's a clown, with his jests and buffoonery,\nA wag and farceur\u2014but the sooner he\nLearns that his jokes\nAin't that funny to folks,\nThen the sooner we'll stop our lampoonery.", "id": 23782, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "I didn't quite catch what you said\u2014\nIt went in and right out of my head,\nBut it sounded aspersive.\nPlease be more discursive.\n\"The slim brick socks piggins\"!? You're dead!", "id": 23783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the back of my skull is a spigot\u2014\nA petcock that's not very big; it\nAllows me to drain\nAll the mush from my brain.\nSo I call it my brain drain\u2014you dig it?", "id": 23784, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What's called almond oil comes in two kinds.\nThere's the bitter\u2014it's poison. One finds\nThat there's also the sweet\nThat is harmless to eat,\nSo let's not mix them up in our minds.", "id": 23786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're making a figure in clay,\nAn armature helps the clay stay.\nAnd to further protect\nIt, and keep it erect,\nUse a back iron; then it won't sway.", "id": 23787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Al is cast as a zany in Reno\nAddicted to coffee and keno,\nWhile playing the hero\nIs Bobby De Niro,\nThe straight man to mad cappuccino.", "id": 23788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once you've dined here, you want to return.\nA Black Forest location, we learn,\nCulinarily seen,\nIs what Bonn once had been.\nBaiersbronn, for your cooking I yearn!", "id": 23789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "So you chose to be legally bound\nTo this Homo erectus you found.\nYou thought he'd be hot\n'Tween the sheets, but he's not.\nOn the details you need not expound!", "id": 23790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Each year it's a race: who can stash\nThe most nuts?  Through the yard we both dash.\nWhen the winter snows fall\nAnd the baking pans call,\nI will raid that darn squirrel's greedy cache.", "id": 23791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I know all sorts of interesting stuff\nAbout pale, brownish colours \u2014 enough\nTo tell 'old hempen rope'\nFrom an 'antique French taupe'.\nI'm my hobby's most polished buff buff.", "id": 23792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When the Welsh-speaking Britons are set on\nBy Saxons, invading, they get on\nTheir boats and sail, smitten\nOn a new little Britain,\nTo Brittany, France, where they're Breton.", "id": 23793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "We lumberjacks two like to hack woods,\nThen crack woods, then stack woods, then pack woods.\nMy buddy and me\nAre as close as can be:\nFor each other, we'd bend over backwards.", "id": 23794, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "As a sponge, Acanthella is tickly;\nAs a plant, it has seed-heads all prickly;\nAs a parasite's stage\nBetween egg and of age,\nIt might make your intestines feel sickly.", "id": 23795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "He'd show her a mountain surprise:\nA cataract, mammoth in size.\nBut his gift could not be\nSince his mom could not see\u2014\nLarge cataracts clouded her eyes.", "id": 23796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "To a casuist waiter from Crewe,\nI complained of a mouse in my stew.\nI said, \"Don't bring a bill!\"\nHe replied, \"I still will,\nFor that isn't a mouse\u2014it's a shrew!\"", "id": 23797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "What's the part that needs fixing? Don't blush:\nIt's the ballcock\u2014should float till a flush\nLets the water flow down\nTo the toilet; that brown\nIs just rust in the tank (use a brush).", "id": 23798, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "The only French words that I know\nMean \"tomcat\" and \"water\" \u2014 chat, eau.\nWhen these two words combine\nIn the name of a wine\nDoes it mean the bouquet's a K.O.?", "id": 23799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Your cardiac rhythm's the beat\nOf your heart, not your bongos or feet.\nHypochondriacs fear\nFor this organ so dear:\nWhen it skips, they turn white as a sheet.", "id": 23800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's a bidialectism tip\nFor the Cockney who's planning a trip\nTo El Paso some day:\nUse a twang when you say,\n\"'owdy, pardner, ah'm English an' 'ip.\"", "id": 23802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Ashawagandha: this plant claims some cures\nOf infections and leprosy  sores;\nPromotes sleep, relieves stress,\nBoosts your energy (yes!)\u2014\nAyurvedics ensure it endures.", "id": 23804, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Californite's hard gem's glossy sheen\nHides its \"Midas-touch\" means to turn mean.\nSome say \"power's a crock,\"\nMocking igneous rock\nThat makes heart chakras dollar-bill green.", "id": 23805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Of Pete's hat, we took all but the ball\nTo make Paul a new rug for the fall.\nJohn, the wag, he cracked wise\nAnd said, \"Cannibalise?\nFrom Peter's tuque we toupee Paul.\"", "id": 23806, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "A gift for my inamorata!\nBut what? I was seeking some data...\nI asked, was discreet.\nShe replied: \"Something sweet.\"\nA potato!  \"Here, have a batata!\"", "id": 23807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Don't confuse a sachet with cachet.\nIf a sweet-smelling pouch had a way\nTo confer select status,\nThis charmed apparatus\nWould cost just what Faust had to pay.", "id": 23808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Though the cakewalk might seem to depress\nWith sad costumes of outrageous dress,\nIts real style was sublime\nAnd evolved over time\nInto ragtime \u2014 true grace from duress.", "id": 23809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Absolvitory labels the act\nOf granting forgiveness. In fact,\nSinners gain absolution\nFrom a priest \u2014 retribution\nIs something he'll never exact.", "id": 23810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Need a snack for the party you host?\nMake Italian bread, sliced, into toast.\nDrizzle olive oil on it,\nPut on your host bonnet,\nThen serve this bruschetta, and boast.", "id": 23811, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jollierelm", "limerick": "Alsike, a species of clover,\nDiffers from Red, which is mauver.\nIt's whiter than White,\nThough equal in height.\nZigzag is much more bent over.", "id": 23812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "There's a seaport in Spain called Cadiz.\nIf you say it, it rhymes with beneath.\nYou protest all you like,\nEven walk out on strike:\nI'm tho thorry, but that'th how it eeth.", "id": 23813, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "In two days in this ward, I've surmised\nJust how badly the nurse is despised\nBy the men, just like me,\nWho make lawn-sprinkler pee,\nWe're so wretchedly catheterized.", "id": 23814, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "We shouldn't cast doubt on your piety?\nYou think we ignore impropriety?\nWe find you uncouth;\nIt's the God's honest truth\u2014\nYou're a boil on the butt of society.", "id": 23815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Though he'd led since the start of the race,\nI was willing to take on the chase,\nSo I put on a burst,\nCaught him, went into first\nAnd then kept up that punishing pace.", "id": 23816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak and SheilaB", "limerick": "At the entrance I stopped with a start:\n\"That nameplate sets Caesar apart!\"\nSaid the senator, \"Shoosh!\nHe adores the cartouche.\nThe adornment's a fine work of art.\"", "id": 23817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She appears to me often in dreams.\n\"Which way to Kentucky?\" she screams.\nIt is clear she's a most\nOverstrung sort of ghost,\nAnd not good with directions, it seems.", "id": 23819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In this world, every woman was dominant.\nIn each government, women were prominent.\nIf just men call the shots\nIn your mindset, then lots\nOf these ladies would sure put a bomb in it.", "id": 23820, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Circumcision?  That's far too severe!\nJust one slip, and it costs a man dear.\nWhen making boys \"roundheads\"\n(Who don't support crowned heads),\nThe medics can be cavalier.", "id": 23821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Do not christen your child \"April Harris\".\nCockneys' April clues April in Paris,\nWhich clues aris or arse;\nDrop an H \u2014 see the scars:\nA name like \"Arse Arse\" could embarrass.", "id": 23822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Crowds at concerts, in France, wanting more,\nYou would think would cry out with \"Encore!\"\nBut in Paris or Nice,\nWhat they utter is \"Bis!\"\n(\"Play it twice \u2014 once again, like before!\")", "id": 23823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Mr. Tortoise, that's not a fair race!\"\nCried the hare. \"Why, you drove to first place.\nAnd the rules, you know well,\nSaid to stay in your shell \u2014\nThey said 'carapace', not 'car apace'.\"", "id": 23824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "How could you become so remiss?\nDid you think you'd found heavenly bliss?\nNow your life's on display,\nAnd you're sure gonna pay\u2014\nThere is bound to be fallout from this.", "id": 23825, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "See this caddisworm glued to his base?\nFuture caddis fly making his case\u2014\nIn the lake he'll festoon\nHis long, sticky cocoon\nWith debris that's at hand: he's an ace!", "id": 23826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "You may ask, \"What are canthi?\" I'll try\nTo define them: you've two on each eye.\nThey're where both eyelids meet:\nOne's beside your crow's feet;\nOne's where tears trickle out when you cry.", "id": 23827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "There once was a gal, Shelly Sutton,\nWith an eye-catching, strange belly button.\nShe endured navel battle\n'Til a surgeon said, \"That'll\nBe fixed with some quick belly cuttin'.\"", "id": 23828, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "The actwait (or entr'acte) occurred,\nAnd the audience went, like a herd,\nUp the aisle to the lobby.\nI could not be so snobby\u2014\nThe act tune to hear I preferred.", "id": 23829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "'Twixt the branches I lift to the sky,\nThere's a poetess trying to fly.\nBut one stiff autumn breeze\nWhile she's lying in trees,\nAnd she'll die in the fall, by and by.", "id": 23831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Yup, catsup's a matter of taste;\nIt's a gooey tomatoey paste.\nAnd you risk that a lot'll\nDump out of the bottle\nIf you thump on the bottom in haste.", "id": 23832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "With his name printed clearly in bold,\nOn a calling card bordered with gold,\nA young fellow would woo.\nThis was his billet-doux\n(Not a text or an e-mail) of old.", "id": 23833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Fellow masochists tell me I'm sick,\nBut the salad is part of my kick.\nFor I crave healthy eating\nAnd then a good beating.\nOoh yeah! Give me carrot and stick.", "id": 23834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "What's the role of the cardiac muscle?\nIt's to hasten the bloodstream; to hustle\nEach red or white cell\nThrough the system, pell-mell,\nThus promoting a speedy corpuscle.", "id": 23835, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There are many good words you should know\nEn fran\u00e7ais.  As regards \u00e0-propos,\nSuch remarks might amuse.\nIf they do, you might choose\nTo describe them as someone's \"bons mots\".", "id": 23836, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "I have noticed alluvious themes\nAnd connections 'twixt cultures and streams,\nFor my forebears did lay\nDown the subconscious clay\nThat's the base of my own field of memes.", "id": 23837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Calumniate me, would you, bud?\nTurn my name (which was spotless) to mud?\nI shall see you in court\nFor the falsehoods you've wrought.\nBe advised, pal: there's gonna be blood!", "id": 23838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "If it's candour you want, I'll be straight:\nYou're not looking so fresh-faced of late.\nPoint of fact, to be truthful,\nWhere once you seemed youthful ...\nWait\u2014what was that? \"Cancel that date\"?", "id": 23839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "What a delicate bloom! How replete\nWith aroma\u2014no others compete!\nHow deserving of fame!\nBut by no other name\nWould the burnet rose smell quite as sweet.", "id": 23840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "The advance party raced on ahead,\nTo forestall any problems, they said.\nWhen we got there\u2014how rude!\u2014\nThey had scarfed all the food\nAnd neglected to save me a bed.", "id": 23841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Here's a cautionary tale: in a horse\nMade of wood, Menelaus's force\nFound their way into Troy,\nWhere they slew man and boy.\nBeware guile: it's a lethal resource.", "id": 23842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "\"To be,\" mused Prince Hamlet, \"or not?\nShould I give this life one final shot,\nOr obey Death's sweet call?\n(One swift pang ends it all.)\nThat's a question I've pondered a lot.\"", "id": 23843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The China we speak of today\nHas a long-ago name that's pass\u00e9.\nOnce a man, Marco Polo,\nWent traveling solo\nDue East and \"discovered\" Cathay.", "id": 23844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cappuccino's a drink moving up\nIn cachet, when we lunch and we sup.\nFrothed hot milk in espresso\nTakes time and, I guess, so\nMuch skill that it's five bucks a cup.", "id": 23845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a film for the comedy fan,\nAnd it won't be a flash in the pan.\nAll the edits are done,\nSo it's ready to run\u2014\nIn the lingo, the flick's in the can.", "id": 23846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"La Bamba\"'s a Mexican song;\nWith guitar you can sing right along.\nBut in Zambia Bemba\nAre Bantus, remember?\nTo mix the two up would be wrong.", "id": 23847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "My mad antisocialist aunt\nBelieves that the government can't.\n\"Teach my kids? They make fools\nIn those lame public schools.\nWhat a waste, give us vouchers!\" she'll rant.", "id": 23848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Banana slugs ate my new fern.\nI sputtered some \"dangs\" and a \"durn.\"\nUnder mulch they lurk smugly\u2014\nTen inches of ugly.\nSalt shaker in hand...it's my turn!", "id": 23849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "If a chemical peel's called a beautifier,\nThen a bow in your hair is a cutifier.\nAnd I guess when you're loud\nAnd obscene in a crowd,\nMy hand on your mouth is a mutifier.", "id": 23850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A calculator adds and divides,\nSubtracts, and finds products, besides.\nYou can also compute\nA percent or square root\u2014\nAll without an old ruler that slides.", "id": 23851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A map can display the geography,\nBe it climate or roads or topography,\nOf the world or one part,\nAnd the methods or art\nOf producing one's known as cartography.", "id": 23852, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In our country, corruption abounds;\nOur government's gone to the hounds.\nAn Airedale or setter\nCould govern us better.\nLet's recruit our officials from pounds.", "id": 23853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my mom went on trips, she would jot\nDown my duties; she never forgot.\nNot an errand she missed\nOn that bulleted list\u2014\nEach assignment came after a dot.", "id": 23854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Aniconism doesn't allow\nYou to pray in this way, or to vow.\nIts primary stricture\nIs \"Don't use a picture.\"\nSo deep-six that gold-plated cow!", "id": 23855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The old hen nestled snug in her nest\nWith her eggs tucked secure neath her breast,\nWhen the rooster upset 'er\u2014\n\"A heating pad's better!\"\nAnd she broodingly thought, \"Is that best?\"", "id": 23856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My geology textbook contains\nStuff on caprock.  The image remains\nOf a dense layer for\nCov'ring up a soft core,\nLike the skull that's protecting my brains.", "id": 23857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's your X-ray.  I'm telling you straight:\nIt's TB, and it's serious, mate.\nThe bacilli have gravitated\nTo the hole that was cavitated.\nGet some treatment before it's too late!", "id": 23858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He can play till he's blue in the face,\nBut his music is still a disgrace.\nWhy the guy plays bull fiddle\nIs simply a riddle;\nHe's hopeless at playing string bass.", "id": 23859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A condition with great specificity,\nIt can fracture a family's felicity\u2014\nPeanut allergy can\nKill a woman or man,\nDue to peanuts' strong antigenicity.", "id": 23860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Acetabula: that's where the femurs\nOf humans, of apes, and of lemurs,\nJoin the pelvis. The hip\nJoints are formed by their grip;\nThey allow us to sit in our Beemers.", "id": 23861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In examining women's and men's\nSilhouettes, both of Barbies and Kens,\nI find those who have bowlegs\nReluctant to show legs;\nThe reason I'll put in parens. (())", "id": 23862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For a soup that will fill you with glee,\nTake some mussels, scrubbed clean (that's the key),\nHeavy cream and white wine,\nCook, then cool; when you dine,\nYou'll adore your first course: billi-bi.", "id": 23863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In producing his movie romances,\nMy friend doesn't take any chances.\nHe plans to make Salma\n(Ms Hayek) the alma:\nThe girl who's from Egypt and dances.", "id": 23864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have recently read the obit\nOf a very remarkable Brit.\nBy the Queen he was knighted,\nAnd otherwise cited\nFor teaching Prince Charles how to knit.", "id": 23865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My soldier-son's home on a pass.\nThey sure taught him to polish up brass.\nWhen he shines up the brightwork\nHe sees it as light work;\nHe soon will be Private First Class.", "id": 23866, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Words we no longer use make me smile,\nAnd I've got them stacked up in a pile;\nSo I punch up my prose\nWith the words no one knows,\nWhen I write in another-guess style.", "id": 23867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have acropigmentation; God knows,\nWhen I'm wearing my sandals, it shows\nWithout socks, so I've found.\nI wear socks all year round\u2014\nJust to cover my blackening toes.", "id": 23868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My seagoing friend sent a note.\n\"My new sailboat is cat-rigged,\" he wrote,\n\"It has only one sail\n(But it's too strong to fail),\nAnd the mast's in the front of the boat.\"", "id": 23869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "British bulldogs are odd-looking.  They\nHave a face that may scare you away;\nAnd though not very nimble,\nThese dogs are a symbol\nOf the strength of the stalwart U.K.", "id": 23870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he looks at a girl, it is comical.\nHis appraisals are all anatomical,\nAnd her muscles a factor\u2014\nCan she manage a tractor?\nGuess his view of the world's agronomical.", "id": 23871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An eager young intern named Jill\nSaid, \"For angst I can't just give a pill.\"\nSo she made no apology\nAnd studied psychology.\nFrom a casebook she polished her skill.", "id": 23872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're kicked in the ankle, then you\nMay observe that it turns black-and-blue,\nBut this bruise or contusion\nShould breed no confusion.\nThe blood pigment causes the hue.", "id": 23873, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "In those Bollywood movies, they sing\nAnd they shout, and they dance in full fling\u2014\nThey're the toast of Bombay.\n...It's Mumbai now, you say?\nMutter... Mumblewood ain't the same thing.", "id": 23874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his art as a singer he's grown;\nHis canorousness now is well known.\nEvery once in a while\nHis phone number I dial,\nJust to hear his sweet voice on the phone.", "id": 23875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Brumbies are found in Australia.\nBe careful\u2014your courage may fail ya.\nThese mares and these stallions\nAre equine rapscallions;\nIf you get in their path, they'll assail ya.", "id": 23876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am writing this check for my niece.\nShe is known as a fine cantatrice,\nAnd her voice is the rage\nWhen she sings on the stage.\n(But she can't meet the terms of her lease!)", "id": 23877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Father Luke had his students in awe\nOf his grasp of old church canon law.\nWhen he strayed as a priest,\nHe admitted, at least,\nFrom the clergy he had to withdraw.", "id": 23878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm not satisfied being a prole,\nAnd I crave a much classier role.\nI'd a capitalist be\nIf I had do-re-mi,\nBut the gelt is beyond my control.", "id": 23879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "See the witch as she laughs by her pot!\nIt's a cauldron, and bubbling hot\u2014\nBut that cackling crone,\nBoiling bats' blood and bone,\nCould transform you right there on the spot!", "id": 23880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A hamburger junkie named Knight\nTakes delight in a sixty-cent bite.\nIf you play him at chess,\nHe is certain to stress\nThat his castle must always be white.", "id": 23882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "As I paddled away, he (capriciously)\nEyed the grain that was sitting (deliciously)\nIn the stern of the boat...\nDamn! That wolf got my goat!\nAnd then munched on the carcass, quite viciously.", "id": 23883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Hypertension your doc can relieve\nWith inhibiting drugs you'll receive.\nIf your medic is knowledgy\n'Bout pharmacology,\nHe's hiding an ACE up his sleeve.", "id": 23887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Spare some change?\" said the tramp, avariciously,\nAs I looked at his fine clothes suspiciously.\n\"I don't think you're needy \u2014\nYou're plainly just greedy!\"\nI said, then I left expeditiously.", "id": 23888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Asymptotic solutions are fine.\nEach appears as a single straight line\nOn the plot of your function;\nBut two in conjunction\nWill make a good tool for design.", "id": 23889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "If a science degree was your aim,\nThese letters now follow your name.\n(Get them simply by skimming\nThe uni: Bronze Swimming\nCertificate sounds just the same!)", "id": 23890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "The shoplifter cast a quick glance \u2014\nHe's a habit he has to finance \u2014\nBut a CCTV\nMeans he soon won't be free:\nHe's walking to jail in a trance.", "id": 23891, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Does paperwork leave you agape?\nThis a bureaucrat cannot escape.\nAnd I've even a hunch\nThat he bundles his lunch\nIn a package that's sealed with red tape.", "id": 23892, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Senior moments won't make me feel old\n'Cause I'm sharp as a tack, bright and bold.\nUh, what's that you say \u2014\nIt's my birthday today?\nOops! It looks like my memory's on hold.", "id": 23893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light and Engineer", "limerick": "\"I've brought you some flowers, dear Sue.\nThey're almost as lovely as you.\nOh, my heart so adores\nTheir brown eyes\u2014just like yours!\"\n\"Why, you idiot! My eyes are blue!\"", "id": 23894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Oh, Acequia Madre, your niche is\nOne of Santa Fe's natural riches.\nWhen they blocked you, the Spanish\nWould dry up and vanish,\nAnd call you a \"Mother of Ditches\".", "id": 23895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "The board foot is a volume of wood,\nBut, mistakenly, some think it could\nMean a heel and an arch\nUpon which one could march\nIf not plagued with ennui. Understood?", "id": 23896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In a vacuum, your eyes would bug out\nBefore leaving their sockets, no doubt.\nIn a Ridley Scott dream,\nNo one hears if you scream\nAt the alien licking its snout.", "id": 23897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The building is \"double-plus good\":\nRough concrete is better than wood\nIn the Brutalist style.\nI would venture a smile\nIf piled rubble was there where it stood.", "id": 23898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In its golden age, sci-fi was proud;\nNow those covers seem garish and loud.\nBug-eyed monsters attack\nAnd our women fight back,\nNearly naked, and richly endowed.", "id": 23899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I furnish a vital supply line\nTo construction crews raising the skyline:\nCroissants and concrete,\nSince a worker must eat\n(Though the baking is merely a byline).", "id": 23900, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It resembles a slick magazine\nFilled with clothes for a king or a queen\n(Models, matron and male,\nAre from Harvard or Yale),\nAll for sale, and by mail\u2014L.L.Bean!", "id": 23901, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He has catalepsy? Symptoms are these:\nStanding up, sitting down, on his knees,\nHe goes into a trance,\nDoesn't move\u2014at a glance\nIt appears that a cop has yelled, \"Freeze!\"", "id": 23902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cap-a-pie means \"from head down to toes,\"\nFrom the French, as my friend Yvette knows.\nWhen she asked me to tea\nIn the nude, cap-a-pie,\nShe was jesting with me, I suppose.", "id": 23903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend Dolly complains, in her folly\n(Painting embryos riding a trolley),\n\"I'm artistic. I'm mystic.\nI'm surrealistic.\nI'm named after Salvador Dali!\"", "id": 23904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Eugenia came from Slovenia\nTo be treated for hematopenia.\nAll her docs, in the know,\nSaid her menstrual flow\nWas the cause of her woe: catamenia.", "id": 23905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he thinks of the hours she keeps,\nGina's dad is so sad that he weeps,\nAs by day Gina carhops;\nBy night Gina bar hops.\nDad wonders just when Gina sleeps.", "id": 23906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his sermons he mixed up Cabala\nWith visions of Odin's Valhalla;\nBut in spite of this wallowing,\nHe had a great following\u2014\nAt the service he served wine and challah.", "id": 23907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Should I purchase a Catherine wheel?\"\nSaid the clerk, \"It's a very good deal,\n'Cause it spins when you light\nIt, and lights up the night.\nKids will squeal. Its appeal is for real!\"", "id": 23908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I first saw the painting at MoMA.\nIt looked like a large carcinoma\nIn the liver or lung;\nOn the wall it was hung.\nI said, \"Wha?\" and my son said, \"Let's go, Ma!\"", "id": 23909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Brazilwood's a tree, and it grows\nIn Brazil, where the Amazon flows.\nOnce it's cut, if you're willin',\nExtract its brazilin;\nAnd its wood makes fine violin bows.", "id": 23910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My family thinks it quite odd\nThat I've purchased this run-down Cape Cod\u2014\nA cottage, I hope\n(I admit the floors slope)\nTo remodel. I'm handy, thank God!", "id": 23911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're female and want to allure,\nAnd you're not about looking demure,\nWear a tight bustier,\nAnd the fellows will say,\n\"She looks bustier now; that's for sure!\"", "id": 23912, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cantaloupe says to a plum,\n\"Let's run off and be wed! Will you come?\"\n\"Can't elope,\" she replies,\n\"We're too different in size.\"\nSo he sighs, melancholy and glum.", "id": 23913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At times he's so fearful, he cowers\nWhen he thinks of the monast'ry's powers.\nSaid the novice, \"I pray\nLong and hard, every day,\nI won't sleep through canonical hours.\"", "id": 23914, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On the train, the conductor was spruce\nIn her outfit of navy and puce.\nShe was small in the breast,\nWith a flatcar-shaped chest,\nBut she had a colossal caboose.", "id": 23915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "King Arthur held court out at Camelot,\nHe served bacon, and pork chops, and ham a lot.\nFor the kosher Sir Cohen\nIt was hard to keep goin';\nSaid the knight, \"It ain't right! Why not lamb a lot?\"", "id": 23916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Wilhelmina was wed to a souse.\nShe grew bitter and often would grouse.\nThough she hid all his gin,\nHe would find it. It's been\nA perpetual game: cat and mouse.", "id": 23917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've a cast-iron stomach, they say.\nI eat any old food comes my way,\nBut I suffered defeat\nWhen you made me a treat\u2014\nYour famous cast-iron  souffl\u00e9.", "id": 23918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A time capsule, launched into space,\nTo land at some faraway place,\nCarried Coke, Mr. Clean,\nAnd a Time magazine\nRepresenting our Earth\u2014a disgrace!", "id": 23919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antishark spray that didn't smell pleasant\nI received from my mom as a present.\n\"Take this canister when\nYou're in bars to meet men,\nFor attackers,\" she said, \"peer or peasant.\"", "id": 23920, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You call in to a radio show;\nYou call in all the debts people owe.\nIs our language confusing?\nMy solution's amusing:\nJust call in the experts\u2014they'll know!", "id": 23921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said one helix, \"My dear, all the gentry\nWill stop, and they'll stare at your entry!\nYou look gorgeous!\"  Her mate\nSaid, \"My love, you will rate\nAmong molecules, most complementary!\"", "id": 23922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The brain sits on top of the spine.\nThere our thoughts and our feelings combine.\nIt, as scientists prove,\nLets us hear, see, and move.\nI'm especially careful of mine.", "id": 23923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "PBJ in my Baggie (with crunch)\nMakes a striking and sweet midday munch.\nThough my whiskers are shaggy,\nAnd clothing is baggy,\nI bagged the most wonderful lunch!", "id": 23924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An apothesis isn't a theory,\nOr a deification. (How cheery!)\nIt's a room off the path\nIn a large public bath,\nOr some shelves near a chancel. (How dreary!)", "id": 23925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm anxious and tense, and feel queasy,\nI wish that my manner were breezy;\nBut I'm tongue-tied, and really,\nUntil I breathe freely,\nI stutter and cannot breathe easy.", "id": 23926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The farmhand complains when he sweeps\nOut the barn, \"Cobwebs give me the creeps.\nThey're araneous, filmy;\nI fear they will kill me!\"\nHe cries, and adds twenty-five bleeps.", "id": 23927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My car was involved in a crash\nComing back from a Halloween bash\n'Cause I drank too much Pabst.\nMy insurance had lapsed,\nSo I paid for the damage in cash.", "id": 23928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "He's so terribly slow to catch on!\nShe gives hints that she's no longer wan-\nting him near, but, oh dear,\nIt's as if he can't hear!\nSo she's writing a letter: Dear John...", "id": 23929, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Matt", "limerick": "His upper-class accent he'd flaunt\nAnd always would call her his \"AWNT.\"\nSo, rather than rant,\nShe'd say, \"Call me your 'ANT'.\"\nHe'd reply,\"Oh, dear Antie, I can't.\"", "id": 23930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"We went bowling,\" I said, with a sigh,\n\"We were bad, with my friend bad as I.\nBut we blame the low score\nOn the neckwear we wore \u2014\nSo we're through, say adieu, bolo tie.\"", "id": 23931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A bragger lisped, \"Cut to the pith \u2014\nI've lotht count of the girlth I've been with.\nEvery gal will attetht\nI wath thimply the betht,\nAnd you won't be debunking my myth.\"", "id": 23932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "Absorb means \"to take in and hold\nErrant liquid,\" but more should be told.\nIt can mean that those who\nTo the group once seemed new\nAre a part, not apart from the fold.", "id": 23933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "If Bolivian soil's your temptation,\nOr Peru, as your summer vacation,\nAymara sites please see,\nFor the scholars agree\nThey predate Incan civilization.", "id": 23934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "There once was a boat with a bucket,\nBut no one could think where they'd stuck it.\nWhen the hull sprang a leak,\nScreamed the crew in a shriek,\n\"We should bail!\"  So, they did\u2014toward Nantucket!", "id": 23935, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "In the days before voicemail arrived,\nThe answering service biz thrived.\nYour words would be noted\nBy staffers devoted,\nThough often they sounded contrived.", "id": 23936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At the end of a half-a-mile tramp\nThrough a wood where the ground's much too damp,\nMy wife, kids, and dog\nAnd I sat on a log,\nMouth agape at the lean-to.  That's camp!", "id": 23937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A buxom young lass, Cassie Cassidy\nShows her curves with a brazen audacity.\nHer great breasts, you can see,\nFill a 48-D,\nAnd her rear has amazing capacity.", "id": 23938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An eagle's a large bird of prey\nThat must fly in the sky every day.\nI tried pretense to get\nOne to stay as a pet,\nBut my caginess gave me away.", "id": 23939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Last year, when I drove down to Texas,\nI was just getting out of my Lexus\nWhen I fell and\u2014what's more\u2014\nHit my neck on the door,\nThereby hurting my brachial plexus.", "id": 23940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "When they fill up your bowels with barium\n(To show soft-tissue tones and to vary 'em),\nYou're X-ray opaque\nAs the barium lake\nIn your gut forms a sigmoid aquarium!", "id": 23941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The emir had said, \"Follow the sun!\"\nAnd so eastward their journey'd begun.\nThen at noon they would rest;\nIn the evening, went west\u2014\nThus the caravan's trip was undone.", "id": 23942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He has cataplexy? Symptoms are these:\nShould he laugh, should he cry, should he sneeze\u2014\nRelaxation profound.\nHe may fall to the ground;\nIt's a truly disturbing disease.", "id": 23943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My calendar hangs on the wall,\nSpring and summer and winter and fall.\nAs I stare at each square\nAnd I see nothing there,\nI declare I have no life at all.", "id": 23944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You should carry these thoughts in your brain:\nYou should carry a coat; it might rain.\nCarry condoms; you might\nWant to stay for the night,\nAnd who knows with whom Carrie has lain!", "id": 23945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The artist had painted my head;\nIn the portrait I looked almost dead.\nTo the pallid complexion\nI voiced an objection,\n\"Paint the lips with some cadmium red!\"", "id": 23946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In The Canterbury Tales, by G. Chaucer,\nIs where you will first come across 'er.\nShe's called Wyf of Bath,\nAnd great wisdom she hath\u2014\nMen could toss 'er but never could boss 'er.", "id": 23947, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A car bomb went off on our street.\nAll the neighbors then beat a retreat;\nBut the terrorists cried\nBecause nobody died,\nAnd for them, that's a major defeat.", "id": 23948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though she searched for six months in Beijing\nFor a vase that was genuine Ming,\nAnd made several stops\nIn a number of shops,\nIn the end she bought nary a thing.", "id": 23949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I committed a terrible gaffe.\nShe served wine in a shiny carafe,\nAnd I placed my bouquet\nIn the Pouilly-Fuiss\u00e9,\nSpilling half, and made everyone laugh.", "id": 23950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was moaning and wringing his hands,\nBut he didn't make any demands,\nSo I said, \"Are you mad?\"\nHe replied, \"I've got bad\nAdenalgia, pain in my glands!\"", "id": 23951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In 1713, a pact\nWas concluded with Spain, with great tact.\nBritish ships, o'er the waves,\nTo the New World brought slaves;\nAssiento's the name of this act.", "id": 23952, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a kid can be kidnapped, pray tell,\nCan a kitten be catnapped as well?\nAnd would kitten-napped kitties\nHowl kitten-style ditties,\nOr catnap and snooze for a spell?", "id": 23953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Watching football on telly in Leeds,\nTo the urge to excrete he accedes.\nHe returns and is sore\u2014\nSeems his team upped the score.\nAction replay is what this lad needs!", "id": 23954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The bomb that exploded was near,\nAnd the sound made me deaf in one ear.\nTo my mom I said, \"Wow, Ma,\nAcoustic-type trauma\nHas ruined my hearing, I fear!\"", "id": 23955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you want to own land, antichresis\nIs a mortgage, thus better than leases.\nBut to settle your debt\nNo fixed interest is set:\nYou just pay up in cantaloupe pieces.", "id": 23956, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "There was an old witch filled with gloom,\nWho sat all alone in her room.\nThough she knew it was risky,\nShe tanked up with whisky\nAnd went for a ride on her broom.", "id": 23957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Camelopardalis stargazers spy\nIn the north, and two bears are nearby.\nThough not much of a sight\n('Cause it isn't too bright),\nThis giraffe's lengthy neck is sky-high!", "id": 23958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Cash or check?\"  Kiss me now?  Kiss me later?\nWould be asked of a \"dame\" when you'd date her\nIn the 20s, back when\nAll the bimbos were men,\nAnd a gal was a \"doll\" or \"tomater.\"", "id": 23959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "They fish in the Keys for the bonefish,\nThat feisty and famously known fish.\nIt's smart and it's fleet,\nBut too bony to eat;\nIt's a catch-and-then-leave-it-alone fish.", "id": 23960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Is a terrorist trained from his birth\nThat his life has no practical worth?\nDoes he blow up a plane\nIn a fruitless campaign\nSince the Heaven he sought's here on Earth?", "id": 23962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"We need rhymes for an arm and a leg;\nJust take what you want,\" poets beg.\n\"For a limerick with charm,\nTake a leg and an arm.\"\n(Take my face 'cause it's covered with egg.)", "id": 23965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Muslim miners head west with a plan:\nFind some gold; get a Placerville tan.\nBut these words from their chief\nMay predict auric grief:\n\"Calif warn ya: no gold left to pan.\"", "id": 23966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Neural impulses flow, by design,\nFrom peripheral nerves up the line;\nThen, abneurally bound,\nGo the other way round\u2014\nThat's away from the brain and the spine.", "id": 23967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An infection may well be chaotic,\nAnd its treatment may be quite exotic,\nBut the neighborhood doc\nWill rely on his stock\nOf a broad-spectrum antibiotic.", "id": 23968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A brown bear from a neighborhood town\nSaunters into a bar and sits down.\n\"In a pail I want ale;\nMake it strong and not pale.\nWithout fail I love ale that is brown!\"", "id": 23969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Zululand soldiers are battling,\nUsing rotary guns named for Gatling,\nWhen MacGregor appears\nAnd he covers his ears,\nSays, \"Eneuch of this rattling and brattling!\"", "id": 23970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I fractured my ankle, I stayed\nWith a lady-friend, but, I'm afraid,\nWith my leg in a cast\nI just couldn't move fast,\nSo I lay there and never got laid.", "id": 23971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm in love with a beautiful blonde,\nAnd I kissed her in hopes she'd respond;\nBut she asked my advice\nOn investments.  That's nice.\nIf I buy her a bond, will she bond?", "id": 23972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm in love with a fellow named Harry.\nI'm pregnant, but don't plan to marry.\nHere's a pill of the sort\nThat will make me abort\u2014\nAn abortient to make me miscarry.", "id": 23973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our bus driver drank at the cash bar\nAt the party in Genevieve's Hash Bar.\nHe returned to the bus\nWith a wobble, and thus\nWe made sure that our door had a crash bar.", "id": 23974, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you crave a performing career,\nPersevere; do it year after year.\nIn the end, like my spouse,\nYou may bring down the house,\nThough at first you may bring up the rear.", "id": 23975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The builder just finished my house.\nI moved in Tuesday night with my spouse.\nWhere the spec required hardboard\nThe builder used cardboard,\nSo now I am suing that louse.", "id": 23976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On the tube certain criminals charm,\nAnd it's hard to believe they do harm,\nBut join organized crime?\nYou'd be mixing with slime,\nAnd you might end up buying the farm.", "id": 23977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I've signed up for a service on-line,\nFor a match that I hope they'll assign.\nWhat I want's a fat cat,\nOr a Navy brass hat,\nOr a guy in whom both traits combine.", "id": 23978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bank dick in uniform wields\nCertain influence; also, he shields\nThe bank's patrons from woe.\nThe most famous I know\nIs comedian W.C. Fields.", "id": 23979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My cat's a remarkable chap.\nHe eats Friskies while curled in my lap.\nHe is learning to cook,\nAnd he's written a book\u2014\nHe calls it \"The Art of the Nap.\"", "id": 23980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A catastrophist says that the earth\nHad a trauma soon after its birth,\nLike a meteor struck,\nOr some other bad luck\nShifted parts of Nepal to Fort Worth.", "id": 23981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When her daughter came, life was ideal\nFor our heroine \"Big Wheel\" McNeil.\nAs a Catholic, devout,\nThere was not any doubt:\nShe baptized the girl \"Tits of Steel.\"", "id": 23982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and SheilaB", "limerick": "The rain on the plain falls acidically.\nWe must act, or we'll find the world's critically\nOn the brink. What this means:\nThe exhaust from machines\nNeeds equipment that cleans catalytically.", "id": 23983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I object to your prejudice, Betty.\nHating everything foreign is petty!\nDon't be a rapscallion\nWho's anti-Italian;\nJust practice\u2014you'll soon love spaghetti.", "id": 23984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My neighbor next door is aloof;\nI'd suspected, but now I have proof.\nWhen to chat I stopped by,\nThe guy's nose was held high\nAs the bargeboard attached to his roof.", "id": 23985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have finally made up my mind;\nI'm devoting myself to mankind.\nAs I wrote in my notes,\nI've burned bridges and boats,\nAnd that means I've left nothing behind.", "id": 23986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She could handle the creep on the phone;\nSusie's brashness was very well-known.\nShe was brave, with a sassiness\nPeople called brassiness.\n\"Scram!\" she said. \"Leave me alone!\"", "id": 23987, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her fantasy never was idle,\nAnd her thoughts sometimes turned homicidal,\nAs her boyfriend would balk\nWhen of weddings she'd talk.\nWhen she spoke of a bridal, he'd bridle.", "id": 23988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though my sailboat is old, and it's tiny,\nI love to go out on the briny.\nI like maritime sports,\nBut I can't wear short shorts,\nAs the saltwater splashes my heinie.", "id": 23989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I would like to belong to their club,\nAnd I tried to get in.  Here's the rub:\nTheir response? A dismissal\u2014\nThe thought makes me bristle\u2014\nA brush-off, a put-down, a snub!", "id": 23990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His perspective on art is unsound;\nHe's been stunned by the treasures he found.\nSince his visit to MoMA\nHe's been in a coma,\nBut I think we can bring him around.", "id": 23991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I picked cherries today with my brother,\nTo make gifts for our father and mother.\nWhile our mom likes them candied,\nOur dad prefers brandied;\nI'll soak one half in booze, not the other.", "id": 23992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There are bound to be squabbles, of course,\nWhen a man and a woman divorce;\nSo I help make a map\n'Cross the bridgeable gap\nToward a settlement both can endorse.", "id": 23993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He looked at her bust and said, \"Just\nLet me touch you.  I feel that I must!\"\nThen he started to paw,\nGot  a bust in the jaw,\nAnd was busted because of his lust.", "id": 23994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Between the large bowel and the small,\nIs a structure anatomists call\nThe caecum. Inside,\nHelpful enzymes reside,\nLysing cellulose (viz plant cell wall).", "id": 23995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "All the court had the closest of shaves,\nOnly just missing watery graves,\nOn the beach where Canute\nProved beyond all dispute\nThat Britannia did not rule the waves.", "id": 23996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "From acetoacetyl CoA,\nWe'll get four-carbon compounds all day.\nThioesters like these\nCan be broken with ease:\nBiosynthesis cranking away.", "id": 23997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Barely bearable hearing these two:\nThey're my forebears, named Smokey and Pooh.\nOne's a bear, he maintains,\nHaving too little brains,\nWhile the other repeats, \"Only YOU!\"", "id": 23998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though diseases are clearly the reason\nThat you're sneezin' and wheezin' this season,\nAt below three degrees,\nYou're in snow to your knees\nIn your sheerest chemise, so you're freezin'.", "id": 23999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A marksman I sadly am not,\nBut paint in abundance I've got.\nOnce discovered, my tactic\nSeems anticlimactic:\nDraw a bull's-eye around every shot.", "id": 24000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Raise a toast to the bride \u2014 but which one?\nThere are two of them here: oh, what fun!\nWe can drink twice as much\nTill we talk double-Dutch\nAnd see four lovely ladies (then none).", "id": 24001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Your start in the world is a mess,\nBut you don't have to wallow in stress.\nThough you're left on your own,\nBy your efforts alone\nYou can bootstrap yourself to success.", "id": 24002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Caesar came.  Caesar saw.  Caesar's plan\nWas successful: the enemy ran.\nThen he squeezed all of that\nInto three words of Lat-\nin. (I'd quote 'em, if only they'd scan.)", "id": 24003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "As old Lion lay dreaming, his keeper\nFed Crow, to buy peace for the sleeper.\nBut though fed, the foul beast\nGrew more eager to feast,\nAnd the danger to Lion grew deeper.", "id": 24004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The priest pushed to church through the blow\nOf a blizzard of chill winter snow;\nIt was Candlemas Day,\nWhen we prayed that we may\nKeep the light of God's guidance aglow.", "id": 24005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "This box? It's a caddy, concealing...\nNow, what? Maybe Assam? Darjeeling?\nThe rich smoky pong\nSuggests Lapsang Souchong\nIs the tea the torn sealing's revealing.", "id": 24006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "How old is this? How long's it been\nSince the wood of this fossil was green?\nCarbon dating will show you\nPrecisely \u2014 you know, you\nJust assay the carbon 14.", "id": 24007, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "When we took little Jim to the zoo,\nThis occurred, and quite suddenly, too.\n\"Oh Jimmy, watch out,\nThere's a lion about!\"\nIt leapt like a bolt from the blue.", "id": 24008, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Do your acres of land get you down,\nNow you've moved to the country from Town?\nYou need landscape design;\nDig a lake, plant a pine\nOr just call Capability Brown.", "id": 24009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my aunt first arrived in this nation,\nBroken English engendered frustration,\nBut she didn't turn cranky\u2014\nShe learned to be Yankee.\nNow we're calling her Auntie Assimilation.", "id": 24010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My twelve-year-old daughter, named Paige,\nLoves drama. She's always on stage.\nBut she scared me to death\nPlaying Lady Macbeth.\nOn the spot I said, \"Paige, act your age!\"", "id": 24011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's a bug that can't fly, never leaps,\nYet the bristletail gives me the creeps.\nKing-sized spikes on their tails\nLook like stingers or flails,\nSo I stomp on the (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleeps).", "id": 24012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She'd been ill (so I heard people say).\nHadn't seen her in many a day;\nBut I noticed she'd thinned\nWhen a capful of wind\nBlew her dressing gown out of the way.", "id": 24013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Carpe diem!\u2014It means \"seize the day\"\u2014\nTake a risk! Don't just sit there and say,\n\"If I try, I might lose.\"\nTake a chance, and refuse\nTo let anything stand in your way!", "id": 24014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Use investment for maximum clout.\nBuy up all that you can; have no doubt.\nWhen you see something good\nIn a business, you should\nNot only buy in, but buy out!", "id": 24015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was hopeless when I was a kid\u2014\nCouldn't button my shirt, so I hid.\nSaid my mom in despair,\n\"You're so clumsy, you'll wear\nOnly buttonless clothing!\" I did.", "id": 24016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Having intercourse\u2014something I'd like,\nBut it's years since I've been down that pike;\nSo I'm fearful that now\nI've forgotten just how.\"\n\"It's okay; it's like riding a bike!\"", "id": 24017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To my thesis on elephant clones,\nMy professor reacted with groans.\n\"Your material's thin,\nAnd beneath its thick skin\nYour report covers only bare bones.\"", "id": 24018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a visit my uncle then paid\nTo her home, I felt really betrayed.\nAnd it surely did rankle\u2014\nBecause of my ankle,\nMy uncle made out with the maid.", "id": 24019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This budget committee's a trap;\nTheir pretense of fair-mindedness, crap!\nThey've already agreed\nOn no increase.  We'll need\nTo use last year's amount as a cap.", "id": 24020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mom objects to my talking in slang,\nBut I want to be one of the gang\u2014\nSo I say what I like.\nShe can go take a hike,\nAs the truth is I don't care a hang!", "id": 24021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My talent for gadgetry pays.\nToday was just one of those days.\nBy 11:15\nI had built a machine\nTo make sound from actinic-type rays.", "id": 24022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My therapy's reached a paralysis;\nI'm so long on the couch, I've got calluses.\nI must find someone who\nTells me what I should do,\nIn an active-type psychoanalysis.", "id": 24023, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Judy Blume writes for teens and for tweens.\nIn her books you can find lifelike scenes,\nWhich are popular features\nWith some of our teachers\u2014\nNot others\u2014you know what that means.", "id": 24024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm eating, I don't give a damn\nFor bivalvia, favoring lamb.\nBut my wife says I'm selfish,\nIgnoring her shellfish.\nShe stews, so I'm now eating clam.", "id": 24025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Back in Europe, this dynasty's reign\nMany ruling positions would gain.\nIt was called Carlovingian,\nOr else Carolingian\u2014\nCharlemagne's a link in its chain.", "id": 24026, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She went out on her date in disguise,\nLike one of those CIA spies,\nAnd proceeded to pass\nAs low middle class,\nPouring catsup all over her fries.", "id": 24027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many ships did he sail, Captain Brown,\nBut his last one, alas, brought renown.\nLike a statue of wood,\nBy its capstan he stood\nAs it sank\u2014with his ship he went down.", "id": 24028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a lady called Leah\nWho opined, \"I feel blah. Now would be a\nTime to swallow this tonic.\"\nBut her choice was moronic\u2014\nCascara, and not cascarilla.", "id": 24029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He wasn't just one of the guys,\nAnd I felt like a warrior's prize.\nRippling deltoids and pecs\u2014\nHe seemed ready for sex\nAs he carnally studied my\u2014eyes?", "id": 24030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The king looked around with a frown\nWhen he noticed the gem on the gown\nOf the queen.  He said, \"From\nWhere'd the cabochon come?\nHave you stolen it, Dear, from my crown?\"", "id": 24031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he left us, Sir Gayle seemed quite hale.\nHe returned looking feeble and pale\u2014\nSeems an arrow had hit his\nBishop's mantle and split his\nThird rib through his collar of mail.", "id": 24032, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In some countries I don't have to name,\nRun for office?\u2014a dangerous game.\nOne may start as a maverick\nAnd end up cadaveric.\nThat's called democratic? For shame!", "id": 24033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In botanical studies, one learns\nAbout flowers and mosses and ferns.\nWhen one's  ageotropic,\nIt's not quite utopic\u2014\nAway from the earth, the plant turns.", "id": 24034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I knew a P.I. down in Dallas\nWhose attitude seemed to show malice.\nWith each case he'd be\nFurther case-hardened; he\nHad grown cynical, heartless and callous.", "id": 24035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you live off the land, life is cruel\nIn the southwest U.S., but a jewel\nOf a plant, I'm assured,\nIs the buffalo gourd,\nAs its seeds yield an oil good for fuel.", "id": 24036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The boatbuilder wanted to talk.\nIt was strange that he seemed white as chalk.\n\"Ma'am, your dinghy will sink;\nYou'll be thrown in the drink!\nI can fix it. I'll have to use caulk.\"", "id": 24037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On an evening that's warm, on my porch,\nI will light up a candlewood torch.\nWhile it's resinous wood\nAnd gives light that's quite good,\nI take care that my clothes do not scorch.", "id": 24038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From Scene 1 to the ultimate curtain,\nHe could mesmerize us\u2014that's for certain.\nHe would be my first choice\nFor the sexiest voice,\nAnd I miss him like hell\u2014Richard Burton.", "id": 24039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "T. R., feeling mighty as Zeus,\nSaid, \"I really don't need an excuse.\nI will enter the race\nFor the White House. My base\nIs the party we'll call the Bull Moose.\"", "id": 24040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am tired and beginning to droop,\nAnd I just can't keep up with my troop,\nSo I'll go have a drink\u2014\nA bullshot I think.\nIt is made out of vodka and soup!", "id": 24041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's a battle to fight, and we may\nFace defeat if we wait or delay.\nOn our captain I'll call;\nIf he carries the ball,\nWe may very well carry the day!", "id": 24042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Casta diva refers to the moon\nTo whom Norma first sings.  Pretty soon\nShe's deserted\u2014in ire,\nThrows herself in a fire,\nAnd expires to a bel canto tune.", "id": 24043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In London, in wartime, we'd meet\nIn a bomb shelter under the street,\nAs the buzz bombs flew over,\nFrom France, passing Dover.\nStopped buzzing? Their trips were complete.", "id": 24044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A barber will take care of him\nWith a haircut, a styling, or trim,\nBut when she wanders in\nTo the shop with a grin,\nHe says, \"See the coiffeur: Monsieur Jim.\"", "id": 24045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mama bolti laid eggs in a pile,\nAnd stayed close as they hatched in the Nile.\nShe swam north and swam south\nWith her brood in her mouth,\nBut she lost them whenever she'd smile.", "id": 24046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blind dating's a matter of taste.\nAt those times when I felt most disgraced,\nI would say of the date\nThat was dealt me by fate\nThat her bustline was less than her waist.", "id": 24047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am bothered by dreams of my ex.\nIn my nightmares, he looks like T. rex.\nFirst he shows me his teeth,\nThen those parts down beneath;\nThen he asks if I want to have sex.", "id": 24048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A thing that's basipetal's going\nTop downward, as water likes flowing.\nThough it may seem depravity,\nOr at least antigravity,\nThat's not how most plants do their growing.", "id": 24049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You get bronchospasm petting your kitty,\nAnd from gunk in the air of the city,\nCalled urban miasma.\nCrud gets in your plasma\u2014\nThe asthma it causes ain't pretty.", "id": 24050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The antimonopolist fell\nTo Adele's irresistible spell,\nUnder which he agreed\nTo abandon his creed\u2014\nNow he works for the OPEC cartel.", "id": 24051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My girlfriend is not very smart;\nShe's a nasty and hard-hearted tart.\nThe attraction? You're quizzical?\nIt's all biophysical;\nHer bra size is way off the chart.", "id": 24052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Please pity this miserable critic.\nHis outlook is glum and acidic.\nHe coughs and he wheezes,\nHas several diseases\u2014\nHis medicine? Antisyphilitic.", "id": 24053, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At new words it is best not to scoff.\nThink of buddle, perhaps; it's a trough\nWhere in water you'll find\nThe crushed ore that's been mined\u2014\nThere to wash the impurities off.", "id": 24054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beat the drums! We are going to war!\n(What else is a milit'ry for?)\nAll those wussies who say,\n\"Let's negotiate,\"\u2014hey,\nAntimilitarists\u2014gor, what a bore!", "id": 24055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though each blossom is small, you can see a\nFit use for this plant.  It can be a\nWee bud seen beneath\nThe large blooms in a wreath\nFor a bride.  I say, \"Long live Spirea!\"", "id": 24056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your experience won't be amiss,\nAnd your farm will bring heavenly bliss,\nIf your soil's rich (that's swell),\nAnd you irrigate well,\nAnd the breed of your cows is Brown Swiss.", "id": 24057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The shopkeeper wished to contract\nFor arson, but not join the act.\nTo the felony, he\nWould accessory be\u2014\nBefore, but not after, the fact.", "id": 24058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A catchpole just came to my house.\nI was out, so he spoke to my spouse,\nAnd he said I've a debt\nThat I haven't paid yet,\nAnd he plans to arrest me\u2014the louse!", "id": 24059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"On your finals, Felice, do your best!\"\nCautioned Mom, \"In the aftermath, rest.\"\nBut Felice was aghast\n'Cause they came thick and fast\u2014\nAfter math was a history test.", "id": 24060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My guy Buck likes to capture wild game\nOn safari.  It's won him great fame.\nWhat would I like to capture?\nA moment of rapture,\nThen maybe his name\u2014that's my aim!", "id": 24061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bureaucrat sitting behind\nA desk of the fanciest kind\nWith his upper lip curled\nWants to rule the whole world;\nAnd the rest of us don't seem to mind.", "id": 24062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Among memories, this I don't treasure \u2014\nThe teacher who preached antipleasure.\nIf we giggled at some\nLittle joke or chewed gum,\nShe would cancel our recess at leisure.", "id": 24063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The cargo cult says if we try,\nA great bird will come down from the sky\nOn miraculous wings,\nBringing all of the things,\nOn our island, no money can buy.", "id": 24064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With a bullwhip, our dad had a knack\nOf producing a deafening crack,\nSo I stayed well-behaved.\nIt was conduct that saved\nMe from feeling that whip on my back.", "id": 24065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When we smooched on the swing on your porch,\nThis romance seemed so hot it would  scorch.\nThought I'd carry the day,\nBut you drifted away,\nSo instead I just carry the torch.", "id": 24066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That's the phone. I'm afraid it's the breather.\nNo, I don't want to talk to him either!\n\"From your phone calls we need\nA short breather,\" I plead.\n\"Give your name or hang up!\" He does neither.", "id": 24067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The blanket of wool was bright red\nAnd I thought it would make a nice spread;\nBrought it back to the store\nShowing moth holes galore,\nBut \"It's caveat emptor,\" they said.", "id": 24068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If your book's been in print for a year\nIt's on backlist, but be of good cheer.\nDon't mix up the backlist\nWith boycott or blacklist;\nIt's the publisher's catalog, dear.", "id": 24069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're manic and out of control,\nAnd your life's like a bottomless hole,\nThen a camisole's arms\nMay protect you from harms\nWhile your medicine works toward its goal.", "id": 24070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Your library's truly capacious.\nIt holds oodles of books, and it's spacious,\"\nSaid the egghead's young guest,\n\"I'm profoundly impressed.\nAnd you've read every one? Goodness gracious!\"", "id": 24071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First the biopsy needle will jab;\nThen the tissue is sent to the lab.\nYou will soon get an answer.\nLet's hope it's not cancer\u2014\nThe illness that's named for a crab.", "id": 24072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There is nothing in life I recall\nThat disturbs me as much as a brawl.\nThough I try from each angle,\nThere's nought in a wrangle\nThat might recommend it at all.", "id": 24073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's a man with a face like a prune,\nAnd he stares at a clock reading noon\nWhile appearing to shout\u2014\nI don't know what about.\nIt's a captionless kind of cartoon!", "id": 24074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Casaba's a treat you'll enjoy;\nIt is sweet but its taste doesn't cloy.\nIt's a beautiful melon,\nAs lovely as Helen,\nWhose beauty undid ancient Troy.", "id": 24075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The greatest of all my delights\nIs to read the Arabian Nights.\nIt's where Barmecide serves\nA great feast that unnerves,\nAnd the food, all imagined, invites!", "id": 24076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The calpacs are heavy black caps\nYou will find, if you look at your maps,\nIn a place called the Caucasus.\nAnd never too raucous is\nThe chap in a cap that has flaps.", "id": 24077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a purgative it was a beaut,\nBut now calomel's virtues are moot,\nBecause mercurous chloride\nCan leave a man sore-eyed,\nAnd mercury-poisoned to boot!", "id": 24078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am hitchhiking (picture this scene)\nOn a cold but a clear Halloween.\nOn her broomstick, a witch\nStops and gives me a hitch;\nNow we're pictured in Time Magazine.", "id": 24079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The buckeye's a tree, but oh my, oh,\nThe word's also used (don't know why, oh)\nFor the folks who ain't roamin'\nBut makin' their home in\nThe beautiful state of Ohio.", "id": 24080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandson plays bagpipes. I'm proud.\nWhen he'll practice, there's often a crowd\nThat collects in the street\nFor a musical treat,\n'Cause when playing the bagpipes, you're loud.", "id": 24081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "After hearing a birdsong, I search,\nFind a cardinal high on a perch.\nHis hue, I alert you\nIs his cardinal virtue;\nHe's dressed like a Prince of the Church.", "id": 24082, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word cabriole means, to a man\nWho's a dancer, a step that he can\nDo while jumping in air\u2014\nBut the leg of a chair\nTo a fan of the style called Queen Anne.", "id": 24083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Although some folks like getting their kicks\nBy careening down Route 66,\nTo me what is funny\nIs giving out money:\nAn administratrix-style fix.", "id": 24084, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "England's golden boy lost \u2014 Rupert Brooke \u2014\nWrote of love, died too young, closed the book,\nLeaving youth a brief page\nFrom a less jaded age,\nTorn by war and the toll that it took.", "id": 24085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For the eating of veggies or steaks,\nEvery chewer must have what it takes.\nThe teeth of each mammal\nNeed coats of enamel,\nWhich amelogenesis makes.", "id": 24086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's an enzyme, or so I surmise,\nAs it ends with an \"ase,\" no surprise.\nA.C.E. we suppress\nWhen it causes duress\nBy making our blood pressure rise.", "id": 24087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "She received her degree \u2014 BFA.\n(That means Bachelor of Fine Arts she would say.)\nBut as hard as I try\nI don't understand why\nA young lady's a bachelor today.", "id": 24088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A pilot viewed charts with disdain.\n\"The airports can't move,\" he'd maintain.\nWhere he's formerly flown\nThere's a savings and loan;\nIt's a cinch he'll be banking the plane.", "id": 24089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Want to see what I do with a candle?\nIf I show you, I'm fearful of scandal.\nIf I lighted your fire,\nSaw your flame wax much higher,\nWould you think I was too hot to handle?", "id": 24090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Brutish boors will engage in baboonery;\nThough clownlike, their aim's not buffoonery.\nBut a real baboon's treat,\nWhen in estrus (that's heat),\nIs some moonery Junery spoonery.", "id": 24091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A.C.E. levels aid diagnosis\nOf conditions like amyloidosis,\nDiabetes, fibrosis,\nOr histoplasmosis,\nAnd of course, alcoholic cirrhosis.", "id": 24092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "For a cricketing vicar it pays\nTo bowl googlies.  My Archbishop says:\n\"Play as much as you can;\nThe Church values a man\nWho's an adept at turning both ways.\"", "id": 24093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Caligula (Gibbon's my source)\nGave a high-profile post to his horse.\nHorses aren't seen today\nIn top jobs with high pay.\nWhy?  They're all filled by asses, of course.", "id": 24094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Godzilla rose up from the sea,\nAnd was scary (he terrified me!).\nHis raids were so brutal\u2014\nDefenses were futile.\nI had nightmares till age thirty-three.", "id": 24095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If it's out in the boonies you are,\nAnd from civilization you're far,\nAnd you're bit by a snake\nI suggest that you take\nButton snakeroot (that is, blazing star).", "id": 24096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Certain aphids, when they're having sex,\nHave patterns that baffle and vex:\nSometimes he-in' and she-in',\nAt others, just me-in'\u2014\nTheir love-making's very complex.", "id": 24097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Their erudite volumes had citings\nFrom the fathers' catena of writings,\nAs they wrote their church history;\nSo it wasn't a mystery\nThat the monarch was pleased with their knightings.", "id": 24098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We were feuding; I didn't know whether\nI'd come to the end of my tether.\nThough I wanted him dead,\nI gave in; we broke bread,\nAnd we patched up our quarrel together.", "id": 24099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He wears outfits, we all have agreed,\nThat might prompt a felonious deed.\nHe's a total disgrace,\nAny time, any place;\nAntifashionableness is his creed.", "id": 24100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Uncle Dave brags he lives in a cave,\nUnderground. \"Though it looks like a grave,\nWhen I tire of my cavern,\nI visit the tavern\u2014\nJust think of the money I save!\"", "id": 24101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I loved it when I was a kid,\nAlthough none of the other kids did,\nSo no bully would punch\nMe and hijack my lunch\u2014\nCalamari (Italian-style squid.)", "id": 24102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You're a butterflyer?  Really?  I'll bet\nYou look cute with your jars and your net.\nChasing bugs, all aflutter,\nFor your bread and your butter?\nYou're a swimmer?  Well, that's better yet!", "id": 24103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I am treating a total amnesiac\nWho's in love with Ms. Rice (Condoleeziac).\nSince he's quite over-sexed,\nAs his doctor, I'm vexed\u2014\nGuess I'll give him an antiaphrodisiac.", "id": 24104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He attracted me right from the start,\nAnd he rapidly captured my heart.\nHe's surpassingly cute;\nIn his cassimere suit,\nOf twilled wool, he looks terribly smart!", "id": 24105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An archchamberlain works for a king\nIn those states that to monarchy cling.\nHis role may be vital,\nBut not so his title\u2014\nAn archsteward's the very same thing.", "id": 24106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blind arcades these days decorate all\nKinds of courtyards or any great hall.\nBut don't try to walk through;\nYou will find, if you do,\nThat you'll smack your nose into a wall.", "id": 24107, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I love cats and love birds so you see,\nI will try to succeed with my plea:\nKitties, kill only mice!\nIf they take my advice,\nIn the catbird seat's where I will be!", "id": 24108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cassiterite's kind of an ore.\nIt is prized round the world, and what's more,\nIt's our chief source of tin,\nWhich lies hidden within\u2014\nAre you galvanized, or do I bore?", "id": 24109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Mr. Bentham enjoyed a vernacular\n(\"I'm taking my antejentacular\nCircumgyrations\")\nWith linguistic creations\nOf pomposity truly spectacular.", "id": 24110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Caravansary\u2014that's a hotel.\nThere a traveler rests for a spell\u2014\nFor a few days at least.\nIn the old Middle East,\nAll the caravans stopped there as well.", "id": 24111, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My father made speedboat propellers\nThat he peddled to oceanfront dwellers,\nBut an oversupply\nLeft him broke, squeezed him dry\u2014\n\"Buyer's market,\" he said, \"Not a seller's.\"", "id": 24112, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My chief admonitioner cried,\n\"It's beginning to rain! Go inside!\"\nBut I wanted to play\nIn the puddles that day.\nIf I'd listened, I wouldn't have died.", "id": 24113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Buonarotti", "limerick": "You were king, right? Of Italy?  Had you a\nNeed for more empire?  Well, Aduwa\nCrushed your intent.\nAnd the fallen were sent\nBack to Rome, to Palermo, to Padua....", "id": 24114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The circus is coming to town!\nAn Auguste will be there, a clown.\nHis slapstick amuses;\nWhite makeup he uses\nTo paint on a smile, not a frown.", "id": 24116, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "If you're after an excellent match\nThen you'll find I'm the best of the batch:\nPerfect gent, never late,\nAlways pays on a date;\nAll in all, I'm one hell of a catch.", "id": 24117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "In my pantry I'll show you a mix\nOf the food in sealed jars that I fix.\nThen I'll do a French dance\nAnd show you my pants.\nI can can and I cancan for kicks.", "id": 24118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "A romantic called Mel became smitten\nWith a lovely young lass he called Kitten.\nBut despite her fangs, Mel\nDidn't notice his belle\nWas a vampire until he was bitten.", "id": 24119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Your ad says you're willing to patch\nAll the holes in my cottage's thatch\nFor the price of a lunch\nIn the pub.  I've a hunch\nIt's too good to be true. What's the catch?", "id": 24120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When a road is denoted by B,\nYou will know that it's really quite wee.\nLanes that weave through the downs,\nJoining hamlets to towns,\nFill my drives through the country with glee.", "id": 24121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Your actions have left me confused\nAnd I'm feeling a little bit used.\nYou would call me your rock\nBut your words would then mock.\nNow my ego is battered and bruised.", "id": 24122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Sing a song to your lover; feel free\nTo romance 'bout the Isle of Capri.\nIt will always seem strange\nFor the lyrics would change\nWhen my dad sang \"a pile of debris.\"", "id": 24123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "The breadwinners, ones who provide\nFor the needs of their families, take pride\nThat the livin' they're makin'\nWill bring home the bacon.\nOn the weekend, some loaf or get fried.", "id": 24124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "We was out in the bawley for plaice,\nWhen my lad fell right over a brace.\nAs he started to squall,\nI said, \"Son, if you bawl\nYou'll get more than a smack in your face.\"", "id": 24125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "When I went to the races today,\nI bet all that I had on a bay.\nOld Stewball, the horse,\nCame in first, so of course\nFor the bayard the bookies must pay.", "id": 24126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Though your manner's polite, nice and mild,\nIf you don't eat your cabbage, my child,\nBig bad bashi-bazouks\nWill charge down with sharp hooks.\nYou'll be carried off into the wild.", "id": 24127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In a bonzery, bronzed by the sun,\nWe encountered a lamaist nun.\nCeremonial dress\nHad adorned this bonzess,\nWho was happy to bless every one.", "id": 24128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "When I used to go fishing at night,\nMy hook baited with lures shiny bright,\nSitting tensely\u2014breath bated\u2014\nI waited and waited\nAnd prayed for a fish to come bite.", "id": 24129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Some gods thought him boozey and wacky,\nSome reckoned his orgies were tacky.\nIgnoring the hype,\nBacchus picked up his pipe\nAnd said, \"Any of you seen my Bacchae?\"", "id": 24130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "King Henry was shrewd, mathematical,\nIn dealing with profits abbatical.\nHe said, \"These palatial\nEstates aren't abbatial:\nThe abbots are far too fanatical.\"", "id": 24131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "If you know that you really aren't real,\nAs the truth, not a line of old spiel,\nBut the Self is all One,\nThen you've really begun\nAnd advaita's your psychomobile.", "id": 24132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "If you hear people singin' and jiggin'\nAnd notice that pints are a-swiggin'\n(But no cotton in view),\nThen it's probably true\nYou're tied up in a pub in Balbriggan.", "id": 24133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The abominable snowman, the yeti,\nLives high in the hills of Tibet. He\nHas fur that is red\n(So 'tis said) on his head.\nDoes he dine on deep-frozen spaghetti?", "id": 24134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I thought I was doing alright,\nBut I'm stuck with this building, on site.\nThe boss says, \"No ligging,\nGrab a banjo, get digging,\nYou'll dance to my music tonight.\"", "id": 24135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As he donned the abbatical mitre,\nCrinawn knew his grip should be tighter\nTo keep all the lands\nIn the hands of his clans,\nAnd his son should be trained as a fighter.", "id": 24136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A good backhand is useful in sport,\nWhile a backhander's something that ought\nNot to play such a part\nWhen the politics start.\nIt's a bribe, I am sad to report.", "id": 24137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Blite's an herb; blight is ruin, disease;\nBlighty's \"home\" to Brit troops overseas;\nThere are blighters (guys; lugs);\nSeems a blightbird eats bugs;\nAnd when blithe, one feels light as a breeze.", "id": 24138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I use foot-candle measures for glows\nIn computing how long to expose,\nThen direct those candelas\nWith photo-umbrellas\nFrom wicks on the ends of my toes.", "id": 24139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Elizabeth seldom suppresses\nThe sensual side she possesses.\nMy tresses are blessed,\nSince she fondles me best:\nHow expressive are Bess's caresses!", "id": 24141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The bridal veil  cov'ring her face\nWas fashioned of billowing lace.\nOn unveiling her head,\nThe poor groom gasped with dread:\n\"I've married my Great Auntie Grace!\"", "id": 24142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Miss Goldilocks, hungry for porridge,\nWent out in the forest to forage.\nInside the bears' cottage\nShe found only pottage\nAnd moldy old bear chow in storage.", "id": 24143, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Each family has its black sheep,\nA notorious, ne'er-do-well creep.\nHe's a brat and a liar,\nA rat and wolf-crier,\nWho's good only when he's asleep.", "id": 24144, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A bomber, the Enola Gay,\nFlew out on a sad August day.\nA vast mushroom cloud\nFormed a luminous shroud,\nBeneath which a dead city lay.", "id": 24145, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Adventure travel is not for the meek\nOr for those with my lousy physique.\nFirst I kayaked, rappelled,\nAnd spelunked (how I smelled!),\nThen I stayed in my bed for a week.", "id": 24146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Dupes are flocking without hesitation\nTo the aid of our fine corporation.\nThat PR firm did well,\nSo we're seeing a swell\nOf new astro\u2014er, grassroots elation.", "id": 24147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "For big third-degree burns (they're the pits!)\nTry a skin graft with many small splits:\nAn accordion graft\nMay be useful, to craft\nA replacement that stretches and fits.", "id": 24148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This project is clearly ambitious;\nDefinitions we write are delicious.\nOur goal, never fear,\nWill be nearer next year\n(Though my wife is becoming suspicious).", "id": 24149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "We have data on characteristics\nOf mouse genes, but lacking heuristics\nTo analyze links\nBetween patterns, methinks\nWe should learn about biostatistics.", "id": 24150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My dearest, there's nothing that's viler\nThan a cold-hearted flattering smiler,\nA cad or a rake\u2014\nBut you've made a mistake:\nI am not a deceitful beguiler.", "id": 24151, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My new vitamin spray is inhalable,\nBut I fear it will fail to be salable.\nThe stuff's composition\nHolds tons of nutrition\u2014\nToo bad it's not bioavailable.", "id": 24152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "My busywork's barely begun,\nBut it's nothing I need to get done\u2014\nIt keeps me from sighing\nAnd moping, or dying\nOf boredom.  (Or having much fun.)", "id": 24153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "He told us, \"We've ruled out uremia\nAs the cause of your daughter's anemia,\nBut the news is not good;\nPlease sit down, if you would.\nIt's acute lymphoblastic leukemia.\"", "id": 24154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Iraqis are bombed, their lives shattered;\nThey wear clothing that's bloody and tattered.\nAin't democracy grand \u2014\nAre your heads in the sand?\nFor Bush, only oil ever mattered.", "id": 24155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Do intestines of pigs leave you bawling?\nAre sheep guts disgusting, appalling?\nDon't let an omentum\nDestroy your momentum \u2014\nGo follow the path that is caul-ing.", "id": 24156, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A boat owner's outlook is funny \u2014\nThe first day and last day are sunny.\nIn between fades the dream,\nAnd his schooner may seem\nLike a hole in the water for money.", "id": 24157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If a foreign invasion you spot,\nAnd you're thinking of taking a shot\nWith artillery that\nWill knock your foe flat\u2014\nAugustinian canons? Guess not!", "id": 24158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Till my anklebones mended, I stayed\nAt the home of the dame with the maid,\nSo my uncle wooed, daily,\nThe chambermaid, gaily.\nNow their marital chamber's been laid.", "id": 24159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Born in Europe, with nary a gill,\nDepth psychology gave him a thrill.\nHe was more pedagogical\nThan ichthyological\u2014\nNot  turbot, but Abraham Brill.", "id": 24160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Boron's an element\u2014sure\u2014\nNumber five on the table.  If you're\nOn a quest that is chronic,\nIts object boronic,\nIn nature, you won't find it pure.", "id": 24161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The binary colors are seen\nOn a color wheel, placed in between\nThe three primaries. You\nMix two primaries to\nGet a purple, or orange, or green.", "id": 24162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Every Blume isn't certain to be\nProductive, attractive (like me),\nSince we also have felons\nWith heads shaped like melons:\nA branch of our family tree.", "id": 24163, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the era of Charlemagne's rule,\nCarolingian art, Ada School,\nWould describe illustration,\nThe monks' great vocation,\nBy candlelight, perched on a stool.", "id": 24164, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your fantasies you may fulfill\nIn the beautiful land of Brazil,\nWhere the Amazon flows,\nAnd the coffee bean grows,\nAnd the samba will give you a thrill.", "id": 24165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said my friend, as he opened a beer,\n\"There's a catboat tied up at my pier.\"\nI assumed it was green,\nThough I never had seen\nThe keen dinghy described by E. Lear.", "id": 24166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One is dressed like a heavyweight champ,\nWhile his friend wears the clothes of a tramp.\nSays the third guy (a clown),\n\"Pitch your tent and bed down!\"\nI'm afraid that their camp is too camp.", "id": 24167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A catalyst makes things react.\nMy reaction was slow 'cause it lacked\nThat remarkable stuff\u2014\nJust a pinch is enough\nTo make chemistry move.  That's a fact!", "id": 24168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now a pathogen's accidental host,\nI was bitten on Africa's coast\nBy a fly with a virus\nThat doesn't desire us\u2014\nSo I'm not turning into a ghost.", "id": 24169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Which has caused the more terrible blitz\nIn destroying my fruits that have pits\u2014\nThe brown rot (is it that?)\nOr a hungry brown rat\nThat is driving me out of my wits?", "id": 24170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Brobdingnagian? Here's the word's drift:\nSo gigantic it's too big to lift.\nIt's a word that's survived\nSince it first was derived\nFrom a novel by Jonathan Swift.", "id": 24171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I knocked, called \"What's up?\" I'm confessin',\nI heard wrong, but I learned me a lesson.\nWalked inside  thinkin', \"She's\nWritin' postcards.\" But Geez!\nShe was naked and she was a-dressin'.", "id": 24172, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The syrinx, with which a bird sings\nIs attached to its bronchial rings.\nIf it's stuck to the ends,\nThen that chirper, my friends,\nFlies on acromyodian wings!", "id": 24173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "When the beautification was through,\nThe dead bishop was pleasant to view.\n Yet I said to the priest\n Who had liked him the least,\n\"He'd be blessed if it wasn't for U.\"", "id": 24174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Though a round of golf brings me elation,\nMy dear wife shops and shops, no cessation.\n I'll be hitting the links\n While she's trying on minks;\nIt's a case of severe bifurcation.", "id": 24175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The fate our community dreads\nCame last night as we went to our beds.\nThey attacked after dark,\nScreaming Vikings, baresark,\nLike a boatful of bears with sore heads.", "id": 24176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"Let me speak,\" said the cleric in red.\n\"Seek the right way, and don't be misled.\nTo find North, South, East, West,\nUse a compass \u2014 that's best.\"\nYes, the cardinal's point was well said.", "id": 24177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "So, this garrulous catfish named Jones\nSwims up to my ear and intones,\n\"The adipose fin,\nWhich sticks out from my skin,\nIs fleshy and doesn't have bones.\"", "id": 24178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Did he life, love and reason resign?\nOr, with music, defy the divine?\nDid affliction and ire,\nArt and spirit inspire?\nMuss es sein? Must it be? Es muss sein!", "id": 24179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "D Frayer", "limerick": "Some of Ali's disciples were odd,\nIn believing their teacher was God!\nThe Alawis endured\nAnd so now, rest assured,\nThey rule Syria, thanks to Assad.", "id": 24180, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jollierelm", "limerick": "Whilst walking past Daucus carota,\nI noted this down in my jotter:\nThe bracts subdivided.\nAnd so I decided\nThat I was a bracteole spotter.", "id": 24181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman and speedysnail", "limerick": "At the Cromwell in Barnaby Gate,\nA pet donkey stole food from my plate.\n\"Dinner fit for a king!\"\nI declared\u2014the best thing\nThat hotelier's ass ever ate.", "id": 24182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "\"Round the Cape we can sail, she's a 'Horner.\nWe'll weather the storms of that corner.\"\nBut the Bounty then fails\nWhen lashed by those gales;\nNow Bligh the ship's captain's forlorner.", "id": 24183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To catch and release means not keeping\nThe fish, large or small, that you're reaping\u2014\nIt's more sporting, they say\n(Though some guys deal this way\nWith the women with whom they are sleeping).", "id": 24184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cattle tick serves as the nexus\n'Tween cows and a fever in Texas.\nThis ixodid's bite\nGives a rancher a fright.\nIf his herd dies, they'll repo his Lexus.", "id": 24185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "I drank porter and lager all day,\nThen for sweet, musky fruit I made way.\nTherefore, melon and foam\nFilled my belly, a home\nWhere the beer and the cantaloupe lay.", "id": 24186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The science and techie types say,\n\"B.Sc.? I would study all day\u2014\nBut only a loony\nWould turn up to uni\nFor only a bloody B.A.\"", "id": 24187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Harris", "limerick": "There once was a playboy named Ari \u2014\nIn east Africa, drove his Ferrari.\nHe was slightly too flash,\nSo they took all his cash.\nEven there, fear the speed-trap askari!", "id": 24188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The carrying capacity tells\nUs the number of hares or gazelles\n(Be they few or a lot)\nThat can live in a spot\nAnd inhabit its meadows and dells.", "id": 24189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Canton ceramicist's flair\nHas created this porcelain ware.\nAn enamel-baked sheen\nCoats a blue-and-white scene\nOf the famous Tiananmen Square.", "id": 24190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm Canadian, called a Canuck.\nPlaying hockey, I shrink from the puck.\nMy play is so lowly,\nThey made me the goalie\u2014\nBut when slapshots come flying, I duck.", "id": 24191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our forested neighborhood park\nCan at times become misty and dark.\nThese caliginous days\nBring a sort of a haze\nIn which contrasts are vague and not stark.", "id": 24193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As the Christians are put to the test\nBy the lions, the Senators rest\nNear the Emperor's seat.\nFor the Roman elite,\nThe Caesarian section is best.", "id": 24194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cataract surgeon named Hamel\nRefined his technique on a mammal.\nHe'd flatter and wheedle\nThe beast so his needle\nCould pass through the eye of a camel.", "id": 24196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Christianity converts are pressed\nTo learn doctrine; they're put to the test.\nCatechumens get versed\nIn the discipline first,\nAnd then baptism winds up their quest.", "id": 24197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "What's known as the capital stock\nOf a company stands for the block\nOf all shares (and their splits)\nEver issued\u2014so it's\nNot a piece, but the whole of the rock.", "id": 24198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "George Washington Carver's pursuit\nOf a nut and a tuberous root\nLed him out in the field\nFor this posthumous yield:\nSweet potato and peanut repute.", "id": 24199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's an object we kicked (then we ran)\nAnd a warship that battled Japan.\nIt's a prison, a loo,\nAnd a derri\u00e8re, too.\nThese are five of the meanings of can.", "id": 24200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cardinal hates spontaneity;\nHe castigates us for our gaiety:\n\"The devil's within\nAnd your laughter's a sin . . .\"\nThat's no way to be treating a laity!", "id": 24201, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Riyadh at a certain locale,\nSaudi chiefs, to improve the morale\nOf the Arabs who scramble\nTo party and gamble,\nHave built the Casino Riyal.", "id": 24202, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a job, it's construction he picks\u2014\nBuilding walls, learning all of the tricks.\nHe's a bricklayer who\nIs a union man, too\u2014\nNow on strike and out hitting the bricks.", "id": 24203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Austrian Adolf F. Brix\nWas a master of chemistry tricks.\nHis hydrometer scale\nGives us measured detail\u2014\nHow much sugar there is in this mix.", "id": 24204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Two plates have been placed end-to-end\nAnd then welded together to send\nTo my son in Iraq,\nWho's been under attack\u2014\nOn this armor, a butt weld's his friend.", "id": 24205, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a hack, and I'm keeping a tab\nOn the gypsies who swoop in to grab\nEvery fare that I'm after,\nThen taunt me with laughter.\nSo yes, you can call me a cab.", "id": 24206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the spaniel that Sundays prefer,\nWhile for Mondays, the pug's de rigueur.\nThe canicular week\nFeatures Saturday's peke.\nEvery day has its dog, as it were.", "id": 24207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A calamity's here, no mistakin';\nGlobal warming has left us all shaken.\nAmerica's hot,\nBut it's worse, is it not,\nWhat with every Canadian bakin'?", "id": 24208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a critic who's trenchant and biting;\nCausticity runs through his writing.\nWhen a party is planned\nFor the cast, understand\nThat he won't be a man they're inviting.", "id": 24210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A causative factor is one\nOf the reasons a task isn't done\u2014\nLike that homework of late,\nWhich my terrier ate\nWhile I went on a date with my hon.", "id": 24211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A passenger starts to berate\nThe attendant who's asked him to wait\nBefore boarding the plane\nWith his case of champagne.\nThere's a carrying-on at the gate!", "id": 24212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cantle's the rear of a saddle\nThat sits on a horse that you straddle.\nIt's the part that projects,\nSloping upward, where Tex\nSets his keister before he'll skedaddle.", "id": 24213, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are big-headed chefs who I bet'll\nWear toques while they boast of their mettle,\nBut the worst of the lot\nHasn't even a pot.\nHe's the cook who's all hat and no kettle.", "id": 24215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A carrier, given a coastal\n(Unwanted) assignment, at most'll\nPerform on demand.\nBut beware if he's canned,\nFor a mailman can quickly go postal!", "id": 24216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A boy at our band camp one summer\nRespected each new up-and-comer.\nThe dutiful beat\nOf his cadence was sweet,\nAnd we marched to a deferent drummer.", "id": 24217, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are things that are easily trashed\nAnd some others more properly stashed.\nWhile the first may be reckoned\nAs worthless, the second\nHas value and therefore gets cached.", "id": 24219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You're a tolerant, liberal guy,\nAnd broad-mindedly caring am I.\nI'm a live-and-let-live\nKind of gal, but I'll give\nYou advice, buster: Don't even try!", "id": 24220, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a sentence, a transitive verb\nHas been given a subject (a Serb),\nAnd an action is made\nThat's directly conveyed\nTo an object (a joint filled with herb).", "id": 24221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A butch keeps a cigarette pack\nIn her sleeve, while her hair in the back\nIs a ducktail, a style\nSeen on men; so I smile,\n'Cause she's after a Jill, not a Jack.", "id": 24223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a caver, I'm now at a loss\nTo be facing a grizzly who's boss.\nSince there's only one way\nTo get past him, I'd say\nHe's a bear that I'll just have to cross.", "id": 24226, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A frame for a window or door,\nOr a membrane for meat from a store;\nA pipe in a well,\nOr what covers a shell:\nThey're all casings (which don't stop at four).", "id": 24228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cannon bone goes from the hock\nOf a horse to the fetlock. A knock\nTo this part of a steed\nCan be fatal and lead\nTo more glue in a factory's stock.", "id": 24229, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cardholder, new in September\nTo Visa (a platinum member),\nWas shocked and made ill\nBy the first monthly bill,\nSo she canceled the card in November.", "id": 24230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"You're smitten by Lancelot, dear,\"\nSaid King Arthur to sweet Guinevere,\n\"Though those trysts may delight,\nYou're not treating me right.\nOne-knight stands? That's a mite cavalier.\"", "id": 24231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a cat's-paw, complaisant and mild,\nQuite easily conned and beguiled.\nHow I'd love to be cool\nAnd make others the fool,\nBut I guess I'm just born to be wiled.", "id": 24232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Mironer", "limerick": "There once was a monstruous cat.\nI saw that his  belly was fat.\nWhile I sit, as I munch \u2014\nWell, I just have a hunch\nThat that cat cannot leave his old mat.", "id": 24233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Oxford, the butteries hold\nThe provisions that students are sold.\nOther butteries store\nWine and spirits and more\u2014\nBeer and lager (but likely not cold).", "id": 24238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "That cadaver's my grandfather Gene,\nWho in life was a punning machine.\nSo this mourning I'll riff\nAt the wake on a stiff\nWho jocosely remains to be seen.", "id": 24242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I used to change jobs every year,\nBut the fourth anniversary's here\nOf my driving this cab\n(And engaging in gab).\nYes, I'm leading a checkered career.", "id": 24243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Capuchins need to finance\nA casino, but can't get the grants.\nSo a lottery's held\nAnd each brother's compelled\nTo go sell a Gregorian chance.", "id": 24245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At Wolf Trap, the comedies please,\nAnd this campy burlesque is a tease.\nBut they sold us the goods\nWith these seats in the woods,\n'Cause we can't see the farce for the trees.", "id": 24246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A ghoul and his followers carted\nCadavers from graveyards, then started\nTo bicker and beef,\nDiscomposing the chief.\nSo the ghoul and his fold were soon parted.", "id": 24247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's expected a rooster might squawk\nIf his hens start engaging in talk\nOf a capon who lacks\n(From the chop of an axe)\nWhat it takes to be cock of the walk.", "id": 24248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Since God is all-knowing, He can\nSee beforehand what destiny man\nIn the end must fulfill,\nSo I had no free will\nWhen I slept with your sister Joanne.", "id": 24249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The roads in the towns where I travel\nAre riddled with potholes and gravel.\nIt's a petty concern\nFor most truckers, but durn,\nI'll complain cuz I'm learnin' to cavil.", "id": 24250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We expected a bitter harangue\nFrom the head of the criminal gang\nOn the gallows that day\nWhen he had his last say.\nHe confessed\u2014to not caring a hang.", "id": 24251, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and Richard Stehr", "limerick": "My cat stole some tuna and bread\nAnd parked it on top of my bed.\nI was caught unawares\n(Who has picnics upstairs?)\nAnd reclined on my kitty's bed spread.", "id": 24252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "You'll find, if you purchase just one,\nIt's expensive; a deal you should shun.\nBut don't sit there and sulk;\nYou can buy it in bulk!\nIt's much cheaper to buy by the ton.", "id": 24253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Hear the clanking and rumbles of cogs\nAs the barking drum tumbles the logs.\nAll the billets are stripped\nOf their bark, which is shipped\nTo the chipper (along with the frogs).", "id": 24254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Haphazardly cutting and shearing\nThe corners, you're swerving and veering.\nThis neck-breaking speeding\nIs leaving you leading,\nCareening and keenly careering.", "id": 24255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "If you anger a mom hippopotamess,\nShe'll leave you, for sure, innalottamess.\nBe aware if you do,\nThey'll be pointing at you,\nThose observers lamenting, \"Godwottamess!\"", "id": 24256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Paul VerNooy", "limerick": "What may look like a soda pop can\nIs a devious marketing plan:\nWe pay more than we oughter\nFor sweetened brown water\n'Cause it's drunk by some babe with a tan.", "id": 24258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A cat is a bundle of fur.\nWhen stroked the right way, it will purr.\nPlayful swipes of its paws\nHide retractable claws:\nIt's demure till you dare to demur.", "id": 24259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Back and forth, he has carried the news \u2014\nNow from south back to north he's brought views\nTo the leaders who heard\nNot his voice but his word;\nNow their own marches miles in his shoes.", "id": 24260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "You'll be callow, my chickling, my own,\nTill you've sprouted your feathers and flown.\nCome away from the edge,\nOr you'll fall from this ledge.\nYou can fly when you're fledged \u2014 when they've grown.", "id": 24261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though these coins may be part of your stash,\nIn Beijing they're not risky to flash.\nSince their value is small,\nNo one bothers at all\nWhen they learn that you're paying in cash.", "id": 24262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was under a sycamore tree,\nAnd its leaves were as big as can be.\nIt was suddenly plain:\nWere I ducking from rain,\nAny buttonwood satisfy me!", "id": 24266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the life of a spinster I'm facin'\nBy jilting the boyfriends who hasten\nTo ask me to marry.\nIt's William and Harry,\nThose reign beaux, that I'm always chasin'.", "id": 24268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Some people we're calling get riled,\nBut others are quickly beguiled.\nTelemarketing marks\nMake us happy as larks.\nThey're the chumps who were born to be wiled.", "id": 24269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cadaver thief's put on the spot\nIn a graveyard, about to be shot,\nWhen he points to the stones\n(Which say Marx) and intones,\n\"I've uncovered a communist plot!\"", "id": 24270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The body is moved from the bag\nTo a coffin that's draped with the flag.\nVietnam is the war;\nThe lieutenant's no more,\nHaving died playing capture the frag.", "id": 24271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This fortress was built by the proles,\nWho were beaten and treated like trolls.\nNow rebellion is nigh,\nAnd with torches held high\nThey will bring the new castle to coals.", "id": 24272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A clam goes from tussle to tussle,\nSurviving on mettle and hustle.\nThis mollusk is smart,\nBut his strength is his heart.\nSuch is life for the cardiac mussel.", "id": 24273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "An A student, she tried to behave\u2014\nUnder pressure, she let herself cave\nIn to peers who thought they\nHad an easier way\u2014\nNow to lies and deceit she's a slave.", "id": 24274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He was nibbling on nocuous nuns,\nTurned to patties in hamburger buns,\nWhen this suddenly spry,\nAnthropophagous guy\nGot a case of the cannibal runs.", "id": 24275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"Attack on my order!\" commanded Lee,\nThen chose to elaborate candidly:\n\"To be perfectly frank,\nIf the North strikes our flank,\nWe'll be lucky to leave here one-handedly.\"", "id": 24276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"A distinctive and singular feature\nOf this goatlike and ungulate creature\nIs his bluish-gray coat.\nHail the bharal!\" I wrote\nFor my college zoology teacher.", "id": 24277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Burma Road ran to Chengdu\nAnd got bombed by Japan through and through.\nThe resistance was nil\nIn the air up until\nFlying Tigers flew out of the blue.", "id": 24278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many months now I've dreamed as I've slumbered\nOf weeks going by unencumbered.\nSince Gregorian sages\nPut digits on pages,\nMy calendar's days appear numbered.", "id": 24279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Benedictines are thinkin' of bannin'\nA monk from the town of Dungannon.\nSince he's actin' the fool,\nFloutin' dogma and rule,\nHe's becomin' the order's loose canon.", "id": 24281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I admit that I'm feeling content\nWith my hair brush. It's made for a gent\u2014\nOr perhaps for a swine?\nOn the handle's a sign\nSaying, \"Boar bristle: hundred percent.\"", "id": 24282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A Halloween Scrooge, Nasty Andy,\nWants kids' trick-or-treating fun banned. He\nWill sit in the dark...\nAnd just for a lark...\nScream \"Boo!\" and then snatch all their candy.", "id": 24283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's oysters I eat by the panful\nAnd spinach I down by the canful.\nI can pop any tin\nWith my teeth and my chin.\nSo I am what I am, and that's manful.", "id": 24284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The pumpkins I carve go awry\nNo matter how often I try.\nI hear \"Oh, my gosh!\"-es\nWhen folk see my squashes.\n\"Just smash 'em and make pumpkin pie!\"", "id": 24285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a kid, I was scared through and through\nBy a ghost who was haunting our flue.\nNow I'm older\u2014but could,\nWhen I'm adding some wood\nTo the fire, get spooked. D\u00e9j\u00e0 boo!", "id": 24286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The wind, like a runaway train,\nCame barreling in with the rain.\nAs it roared through the town,\nDying leaves scudded down,\nAnd it whistled a wistful refrain.", "id": 24287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My pooch likes to play, and he's full\nOf the devil with tricks that he'll pull.\nThere's a water gun here\nHe just aimed at a steer\u2014\nNow my terrier's shooting the bull!", "id": 24288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The buttonbush shrub is the source\nOf a bitterish bark that the horse\nAnd the donkey won't chew;\nFor dem donkeys dat's blue,\n\"Buttin' Bush\" is a madder of course.", "id": 24289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The compounds that burn and destroy\nLiving tissue do more than annoy.\nThey are caustics that eat\nAway flesh when they meet.\nLosing weight like this brings little joy.", "id": 24290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I am blissful, contented, and happy.\nThe election results weren't crappy.\nBut for pleasure inflated,\nTo make me elated,\nImpeach Cheney/Bush. Make it snappy!", "id": 24291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Blistered skin often oozes and drips,\nAs with rashes, bad burns or sore lips.\nBlistered paint starts to peel,\nAnd you're likely to reel\nWhen you're blistered by insults or whips.", "id": 24292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "In a culture whose laws are repressive,\nAn endearment that's tactile, caressive,\nTouchy-feely, or fresh,\nPressing flesh onto flesh,\nProvokes trouble\u2014it's seen as transgressive.", "id": 24293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Affriended, made friends, like befriended,\nHas meaning which can be amended,\nAs when friends had a spat\nAnd made up after that.\nThey affriended; their friendship was mended.", "id": 24294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This limerick's aiming to teach you\nThe value of trying blood peach. You\nMay find its taste tart,\nAnd its cooking an art,\nBut just try making sauce, I beseech you.", "id": 24295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In New England the folks are extolling\nPlaying candlepins, something like bowling.\nThe player who wins\nDowns cylindrical pins\nWith a small, heavy ball he sends rolling.", "id": 24296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "People say I'm a Caucasoid, right?\nWhat they mean is \"Caucasian,\" or \"white.\"\nDon't you think that it's strange\nThat a mountainous range\nGives its name to a color that's light?", "id": 24297, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you like to think  out-of-the-box,\nStudy fossils that hide in the rocks,\nLike the acrodus (classic),\nA fish that's Triassic.\nI found one; it knocked off my socks.", "id": 24298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ted went out, and a sweater he bought,\nPaying ten times as much as he ought.\nNow he wears it with pride.\nGuess I'm snide; I can't hide\nThat I cannot but laugh at the thought!", "id": 24299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To your passion I have no objection,\nBut I fear it will change its direction.\nSpread it over a lifetime,\nA husband-and-wife time;\nAnnuitize love and affection!", "id": 24300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "With acropachy harming your knuckles,\nYour reaction won't likely be chuckles.\nYour fingers will swell,\nAnd show blueness, as well\u2014\nLike blueberries (also like huckles).", "id": 24301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Life's not fair! For a long time I've felt\nLess than pleased with the cards I've been dealt;\nBut I've no time for wishing,\nAs I earn my bread fishing\nFor caplin (akin to the smelt).", "id": 24302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm a lover of Boston baked beans.\nIt's a food fit for kings and for queens.\nIf I ate all I pleased,\nTill my appetite eased,\nI would never fit into my jeans.", "id": 24303, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's aculeolate (something that's prickly),\nNot sagging, or sad, and not sickly.\nEach tiny point sticks\nOut, and each of them pricks;\nOn the stem it is covered quite thickly.", "id": 24304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our breastbones reside in our chests,\nJust beneath and between our two breasts.\nAnd we never should spurn 'em;\nWe all need a sternum\u2014\nIt's there that our clavicle rests.", "id": 24305, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Twelve more months have elapsed, and I fear\nIt's another long calendar year,\nAnd your age is one more\nThan it had been before.\nWhat the hell! Happy birthday, my dear!", "id": 24306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I like porcelain, stuff that is rare,\nAnd I've heard that there's none can compare\nWith ceramics from China\u2014\nSo says my aunt Dinah\u2014\nBut I'll settle for Spode Canton ware.", "id": 24307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Of this land, I am clearly the master.\nI can prove it, but this will be faster\n(You also will know\nAll the tax that I owe):\nJust examine our local cadastre.", "id": 24308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In class, the professor anoints\nMe to give a report on the points\nWhere the vertebrae touch.\nThey don't move very much.\nSo they're amphiarthrodial joints.", "id": 24309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cascara sagrada is made\nFrom the bark of a tree that may shade,\nBut its actions aren't mild;\nTake a dose\u2014you'll be riled,\nAnd your interest in nature will fade.", "id": 24310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My daughter is ill; I can't leave her\nTo visit your golden retriever.\nWe just bought a new cat\nAnd resulting from that,\nShe's in bed with the dread cat scratch fever.", "id": 24311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my coursework I'm feeling quite bruised;\nElectricity makes me confused.\nI ask, \"Cathode, Your Highness,\nIs it plus?  Is it minus?\"\n\"It's according to how the word's used.\"", "id": 24312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I was sweating so hard I was soaked;\nThen I looked at the tube, and I choked.\nThe bronchoscopy stung\nAs it checked out my lung\u2014\nNow I deeply regret that I smoked!", "id": 24313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anthropozoic refers\nTo the era I'll call \"his and hers,\"\nThat of \"he-ings and she-ings\"\u2014\nThe time human beings\nExist. My professor concurs.", "id": 24314, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This bookmarker's all that it took\nTo make sure that whenever I look,\nI resume at the last\nPage\u2014not one I just passed\nOr a page far ahead\u2014in my book.", "id": 24315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The beautiful blue of the sky,\nWhich can alter as hours go by,\nCan be bold or asthenic\nWhen changed atmogenic\nConditions and patterns apply.", "id": 24316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In our bodies, our molecules frolic.\nDo they ever become melancholic?\nWell, at times they may frown\u2014\nWhen they're forced to break down,\nIn the process we call catabolic.", "id": 24317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many characters found in the Bible\nWere antitypes. First they were tribal,\nAs a presage (O.T.),\nThen in Gospels they'd be,\nHanded down by a copier, scribal.", "id": 24318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I insist in most positive terms\nThat your kitchen is full of bad germs.\nI'll eat elsewhere! You're pissed?\nNo, I won't make a list.\nLet's not open a whole can of worms!", "id": 24319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Notoriety\u2014that she'll achieve\nThrough her outfits. If you can believe\u2014\nIn a blizzard of sorts,\nShe arrived wearing shorts,\nAnd a blouse with a tiny cap sleeve.", "id": 24320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The costume he made for our play\nWas bedizened with yards of lam\u00e9,\nTrimmed with sequins in red.\nWhen I saw it, I said,\n\"Either strip it or take it away!\"", "id": 24321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is time for a grand celebration!\nI will broadcast the news to the nation\nThat I passed my exam!\nYes, it's true that I am\nOn the list for board certification!", "id": 24322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Canthaxanthin is added to food\nFor its color, to brighten our mood,\nBut in tanning pills it's\nQuite illegal\u2014it hits\nEyes and liver. So experts conclude.", "id": 24323, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Long ago in those battles\u2014before\nThere were airplanes, and cannons, and more\u2014\nStone was hurled against wall\nSo a fortress would fall:\nThus the catapult functioned in war.", "id": 24324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I sneaked into the president's villa\nTo join his bizarre camarilla.\nI found thirty blind mice\nGiving secret advice,\nAnd a guy who looked just like Godzilla.", "id": 24325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Can't sleep 'cause you're feeling depressed?\nAre your clothes hanging loose when you're dressed?\nThough I can't add a pin\nTo take your clothes in,\nWill Adapin bring you some rest?", "id": 24326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I need help, and I need it quite fast.\nI've been told to attend captain's mast,\nAnd the charge is a beauty:\nWriting limericks on duty\u2014\nThe ramifications are vast!", "id": 24327, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I need a new stone for the mill\nThat my grandfather left in his will.\nIf ever there were stone\nMore gritty than buhrstone,\nIt very well might fill the bill.", "id": 24328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The head of the vice squad, it's clear,\nHas been running a call house out here.\nWhen I called to reach Joan,\nSomeone answered the phone\nSaying, \"Vice squad\u2014Commander Lanier.\"", "id": 24329, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Among carpets, this carpet's a queen,\nEven though it is made by machine.\nLoops of wool sewn on linen\n(Its strong underpinnin')\nMake it great\u2014Brussels carpet, I mean.", "id": 24330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In England, a cinema star\nHad invited me out to his carr.\nI'd imagined Rolls-Royce,\nNot a marsh!  Had no choice\nBut to bounce in his Jeep.  How bizarre!", "id": 24331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For her first anniversary, Sheila\nConsulted a Cadillac dealer.\nShe had picked a sedan\nAs a gift from her man\u2014\nShe received an asparagus peeler.", "id": 24332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At the dinner, I ate like a hog,\nThen felt sick, with my head in a fog.\nWhen I asked druggist Lyle\nWhat would stimulate bile,\nHe took chol, and he added -agogue.", "id": 24333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On his head the guy wears a calotte.\nI can tell from the color it's got\u2014\nIs he only a priest,\nOr a bishop, at least?\nIt's not white? Then the Pope he is not!", "id": 24334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His cookbook showed delicate taste,\nAnd he bound it himself! He was chased\nBy each cat in the town;\nEvery roach tracked him down\u2014\nHe had glued it with anchovy paste.", "id": 24335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Since my garden is sunny and spacious,\nI'm looking for trees that are gracious;\nBut as orange won't rhyme,\nTell the landscaper I'm\nSeeking trees that must be aurantiaceous.", "id": 24336, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Inside Dr. Lawrence's cranium\nWas a large and remarkable branium.\nHis inventions were good,\nAnd his calutron could\nSort the isotopes out in uranium.", "id": 24337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I slipped and I fell to the floor,\nMy two carpals were broken. My chore\nWas the carpool that day;\nI was sorry to say,\n\"I can't drive you to work any more!\"", "id": 24338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ms. Babbage avows, \"Cabbage rose\nHas the sweetest of smells to the nose.\"\nWhen she plants some, Ms. Babbage\nGrows only skunk cabbage.\n\"Heaven knows,\" Babbage crows, \"why it grows!\"", "id": 24339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though I know it's not nice to complain,\nI find paying my taxes a pain.\nMy investments were bold\nIn my youth; now I'm old,\nI must deal with the capital gain.", "id": 24340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Astomatal tells you a lot:\nThat the leaf or the beast hasn't got\nAny stomata (holes\nShaped like mouths or like bowls).\nIs it stomatal? No, it is not!", "id": 24341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Not a pussycat's uncle or aunt,\nA catkin is part of a plant,\nLike a tree that will settle\nFor a flower sans petal;\nCan a willow make petals?  It can't.", "id": 24342, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're slimming, your doctor decrees\nThere are too many lipids in cheese.\nIf you're bored eating peas,\nHere's a hint that will please:\nTry the food at Lo Fat Cantonese.", "id": 24343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm recruiting a large entourage\nAnd intend to promote cabotage,\nBringing goods of all sorts\nIn from neighboring ports\nWithout tax. No? I can't?  Quel dommage!", "id": 24344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The source of the problem was plain.\nCardiopathy, causing his pain,\nWas from drinking too much\nBeer and whiskey, and such;\nSo from booze he would have to abstain.", "id": 24345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "After eating, you always feel bum,\nAnd the pains in your abdomen come\nFrom a shortage of flow\nOf the blood down below\u2014\nYou've abdominal angina, chum!", "id": 24346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Only people or dogs, but not beavers\nGet sick with canicola fevers.\nThis dire diagnosis\nOf leptospirosis\nMakes atheists into believers.", "id": 24347, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's no doubt carbon 12 is the queen,\nBecause most of the isotopes seen\nAre a part of this class,\nWhich is used to judge mass\u2014\nWhile much rarer is carbon 13.", "id": 24348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The enemy troops' ambuscado\nHad hit us just like a tornado.\nNow we're ready to fight\nAnd we'll catch them tonight\nBy surprise, with our great camisado.", "id": 24349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Blanca-roja (the word means \"white-red\")\nIs a grape that makes wine one may dread,\nFor in malmsey was drowned\nShakespeare's Clarence, renowned\u2014\nIn a butt of it, don't place your head!", "id": 24350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On a campylobacter is found\nA flagellum that wiggles. It's bound\nTo assure that he's totally\nFree\u2014fully motile. He\nCertainly does get around!", "id": 24351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Da Vinci Code did very well\nIn the bookstores\u2014a wonderful sell.\nGuess the sales won't explode\nFor the Cadbury Code.\n(But the chocolates are selling like hell!)", "id": 24352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I reside, and I hope to remain,\nIn a canebrake (a thicket of cane),\nAs the cane all around\nIn the wind makes a sound\nThat I've found relieves stresses and strain.", "id": 24353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The brattice: a structure you'll find\nIn the places where iron is mined.\nWhen correct indications\nExist, ventilation's\nControlled when the planks are aligned.", "id": 24355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're running for office, it takes\nMore than pamphlets, and posters, and shakes\nOf the hand.  My suggestion:\nJust call into question\nEach promise the other guy makes.", "id": 24356, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Abbott's artery: this aberration\nMay be used to repair coarctation\nIn the flow from your heart;\nSo it helps from the start\nIf you know about this variation.", "id": 24357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He's a Cantab. From Cambridge he comes\u2014\nAlma mater of all of my chums.\nIt's a place that I trust\nServes the Brit upper crust,\nAs the whole House of Lords are alums.", "id": 24358, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "By King George it was found reprehensible;\nMany colonists found it defensible.\nJohn Adams's writing,\nConsidered inciting,\nToday seems quite sober and sensible.", "id": 24359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I order my meals \u00e0 la carte,\nSince I like to select every part\nFrom the soup to dessert;\nSo I often feel hurt\nWhen I'm told the prix fixe is so smart.", "id": 24360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Among Caribs a linguist might find\nThey've a tongue of traditional kind.\nThe Cariban lingo's\nNot spoken by gringos,\nAnd most of us don't seem to mind.", "id": 24361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Something's appetible; that means it's good,\nAnd I'd buy some whenever I could.\nSo I covet, desire it\nAnd wish to acquire it\u2014\nIn spite of I shouldn't, I would.", "id": 24362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I made oodles of cash selling fuel,\nBought a gem, but the next step was cruel.\nAlinasally, puncture\nWas made at this juncture;\nIt's there that I'll wear my new jewel.", "id": 24363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's a beautiful yacht, and I hanker\nFor the boat that belongs to my banker.\nThe guy is a fathead\u2014\nLess brains than the cathead\n(The beam where he fastens his anchor).", "id": 24364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is fragile, so please do not wallop\nThe actinozoan: a polyp.\nIt lacks a medusa,\nBut that's no excuse; a\nFixed polyp can't swim like a scallop.", "id": 24365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Using methods that may seem adroit,\nCarpetbaggery seeks to exploit\nSimple hicks in the sticks.\nWatch those big-city tricks\nPulled by guys from New York or Detroit!", "id": 24366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A carrick bend's one kind of knot\nThat I use when I'm out on my yacht,\nFor connecting two lines.\nBecause each intertwines\nWith its mate, a secure link I've got.", "id": 24367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mother's prudish, and nothing can change her;\nShe cautioned that sex was a danger.\nAll my boyfriends, she said,\nWere a hazard in bed\u2014\nSo I went and had sex with a stranger.", "id": 24368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To meet the exacting demands,\nAs your life and its compass expands,\nAdrenosterone can\nMake you feel like a man,\nAs it pours from those oddly shaped glands.", "id": 24369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Auto-portrait\u2014here's mine, and you are\nFace-to-face with my face.  How bizarre!\nNow you seem to reject\nIt.  What did you expect?\nA painting in oil of your car?", "id": 24370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I love singing, but can't take the drone\nOf our priest, who's monotony-prone,\nCantillating each Sunday.\nI'm hoping that one day\nHe'll get us a cantor, on loan.", "id": 24371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It's anocathartic, so it,\nWhen I swallow, goes down to the pit\nOf my stomach, creating\nEffects that I'm hating:\nI barf and expectorate (spit).", "id": 24372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From the crenelate battlements of\nThe king's wide-moated castle, above,\nSee the banderols fly,\nBright against the blue sky;\nThey're the long skinny flags that we love.", "id": 24373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The professor who spoke on geology\nOwes his students an abject apology.\nWhat he gave as a speech\nCalled Why Sand Coats the Beach\nWas a mass of confusing cacology.", "id": 24374, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your command of the language is poor,\nAnd you can't read the French carte du jour.\nIt's embarrassing when you\nCan't fathom the menu\nAnd feel like a fool or a boor.", "id": 24375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said a chain-smoking fellow named Martin\n(Tried to quit, and his progress was chartin'),\n\"Doing well, but perhaps\nI might have a relapse\u2014\nBetter stop at the shop for a carton!\"", "id": 24376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My brush in my hand, at my bench,\nI am painting the face of a wench.\nAs the subject is me\nA self-portrait 'twill be,\nOr an autoportrait, said in French.", "id": 24377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a friend, do you offer your pal a mint?\nIs it sweet when you offer your gal a mint?\nAs an act of endearment\nChoose pepper- or spearmint;\nDon't ask her to chew on a calamint.", "id": 24378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The cost of this war is in billions;\nWe're killing Iraqi civilians.\nLots of blood has been spilled,\nCountless innocents killed:\nBush's cronies are counting their millions.", "id": 24379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "My great-aunt has a curio rack\nStuffed full of the worst bric-a-brac\u2014\nHappy porcelain kittens,\nPink ducks wearing mittens,\nAnd tap-dancing pigs in the back.", "id": 24380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "On our farm, there's a mischievous spirit\nCalled a boggart\u2014you shouldn't go near it!\nIt pulls poor Pussy's tail,\nDumps the milk from the pail,\nAnd makes all of the neighborhood fear it.", "id": 24381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Kansas City's a great place to eat\nIf you're looking for barbecued meat.\nGo to Bryant's or Gates,\nAnd the food on your plates\nWill knock you right off of your feet.", "id": 24382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "I needed to find something's mass\nFor a project in chemistry class,\nBut someone just took\nMy new scale\u2014what a crook!\nSo now I've lost my balance, alas!", "id": 24383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Chloracne's a scourge occupational.\n(Who knew zits could have causes vocational?)\nChlorine compounds most threaten\nAt work.  (You're not gettin'\nToo much in locales recreational.)", "id": 24384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You're an avid sun-worshiping man\nWhich is why colloid acne began\nTo attack you, poor fellow,\nWith pimples bright yellow.\nThey contrast real nice with your tan!", "id": 24385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've got cysts way down deep in your skin\nWith bacterial infection within.\nCystic acne's its name.\nWhile no reason for shame,\nAn immediate cure should begin.", "id": 24386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Banning reading material looks\nLike big business, though not one for crooks.\nYet some folks look askance\n(At the big bonfire dance)\nAt the way they are cooking the books.", "id": 24387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I was lying one day in the sun\nWhen my mother said, \"Listen up, hon!\nYou apply cocoa butter,\nOr tomorrow you'll mutter\nYou're burned from the sun. Quickly! Run!\"", "id": 24388, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It grows in the poorest of soil,\nSupplying medicinal oil.\nThe cajeput tree\nIs essential to me\nFor those rubdowns I get after toil.", "id": 24389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "You sing it \u2014 I'll back you on bongos,\nI just need to know how the song goes;\nShould I give you more \"bim\"\nFrom the right one \u2014 that's him \u2014\nOr more \"bom\", which is how the left one goes?", "id": 24390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Though it seems a batologist might\nStudy mammals that fly in the night,\nPrickly shrubs are his focus,\nThose brambles that poke us.\nBeing stuck in the job is his plight.", "id": 24391, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The Pleiades rose in the east,\nAfter sunset and Halloween feast.\nThis acronychal rise\n(Wipe the tears from your eyes)\nReminds us to mourn the deceased.", "id": 24392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The Acinos, with tubular flowers,\nCan boast near-indestructible powers.\nIn a bone-chilling frost,\nThese tough plants won't be lost,\nBut they're not so inured against showers.", "id": 24393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "With a leaf, if you see how it grew,\nIt might have acute lobes (just a few).\nTo describe it, you write\n\"Acutilobate\".  Might\nYou perhaps call a Vulcan that, too?", "id": 24394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Biogenous matter, like ooze,\nIs created when animals lose\nTheir lives and decay\nAfter falling away\nTo the bottoms of lakes, where they snooze.", "id": 24395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "There's one thing I will not let you do:\nWrite alright.  It's all right!  Get a clue!\nJust the sight makes me sick!\nI'll conclude that you're thick\nIf you think that alwrong's \"alright\", too!", "id": 24396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "When a box warns you \"handle with care\",\nFragile stuff is inside, so beware.\nYou had better take heed\nAnd with caution proceed,\nOr the contents you'll have to repair.", "id": 24397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "See that large metal ring with a clip?\nPeople think carabiners look hip\nAs a holder for keys.\nIt's for rock climbing.  Please!\nGrab a cable and go get a grip.", "id": 24398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Carpal tunnel: a place in my wrist\nWhere my finger and thumb muscles twist,\nBut I do so much typing,\nI'm recently griping:\nMy tunnel's developed a cyst.", "id": 24399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "On a web site where porn had been stashed,\nThe breasts of Czech beauties were flashed.\nI thought I could hide it\nBefore my dad spied it,\nBut sadly, the Czechs had been cached.", "id": 24400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Our business went bankrupt today.\nJunior creditors feel some dismay.\nThose with higher authority\nGet the priority\nAbsolute; they get their pay.", "id": 24401, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My husband's as suave as can be.\nIn manners he's like a marquis,\nBut in civic opinions\nHe's one of the minions\nOf Bush and his whole booboisie.", "id": 24402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I'm asexual\u2014don't feel a thing.\nI don't mind a romantic-type fling,\nAnd I do enjoy kissing,\nBut don't feel I'm missing\nThe stuff that a sex drive would bring.", "id": 24403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If it's weight that you're starting to gain\nAnd that carb-counting crap is a strain,\nThere's a fat farm I know\nThat should help you, although\nMost who go there have dubbed it Camp Pain.", "id": 24404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a calf and I'm tooting my horn\n'Cause my birth is occurring this morn.\nThrough a channel I squeeze,\nThen I'm out in the breeze.\nJeez, for cattle, it's wild to be born!", "id": 24405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calisthenics are lame, so I quit.\nFor my workouts I champ at the bit\nAnd I struggle with ropes.\nTrying bondage, my hope's\nThat a man can get tied to be fit!", "id": 24406, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a carriage and bearing displayed\nBy the upper-class folks who parade\nThrough the streets of the town\n(Noses up), looking down\nOn the gals in the streetwalking trade.", "id": 24407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Near Toronto, a birder named Bruce\nAnd a woman who's known to be loose\nWatch some waterfowl pass,\nWhen she pinches his ass.\nShe's a fan of the Canada goose.", "id": 24408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the Cabinet meeting today,\nLet's make fun of Dick Cheney. What say\nWe start gasping for air\nAnd then slump in the chair\nWhen he opens his yapper, okay?", "id": 24409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cavalierism's said to relate\nTo the quality, nature, or state\nOf a poet or knight\nWho's urbane\u2014or it might\nMean \"disdain,\" not too charming a trait.", "id": 24410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These freshwater denizens spawn\nIn the ocean each morning at dawn.\nIt's the sea that appeals\nTo catadromous eels,\nWho are saltily getting it on.", "id": 24411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you've played philharmonic bassoon\nOr viola for many a moon,\nYou might think you're the boss,\nBut beware if you cross\nThe conductor, who's calling the tune.", "id": 24412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Gerardus created a flap\nWith projections increasing the gap\nBetween latitude lines.\nCartographical minds\nTook Mercator for naming this map.", "id": 24413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Each Capetian was royal (Fran\u00e7ais),\nAnd descended from Hugh, a Capet.\nBeing first to the throne\nIn this line, Hugh was known\nFor his skill putting rivals away.", "id": 24414, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcicoles grow without toil\nOn calcareous, nocuous soil.\nThey've adapted through time\nTo the presence of lime,\nBut these plants haven't grown yet in oil.", "id": 24415, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A calcareous substance like Tums,\nWith its calcium carbonate, comes\nTo the rescue on nights\nWhen you're seeing the sights\nWith your chums chasing vodkas with rums.", "id": 24416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Her brassieres have an utter capaciousness,\nA definable double-D spaciousness.\nDolly Parton is wise\nTo their copious size,\nBut makes light of her ta-tas' bodaciousness.", "id": 24417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The star thistle goes by this name,\nAs do puncture vines, weeds of acclaim.\nBoth these plants feature spines,\nWhile some calthrops' designs\nAre so parlous they'll make horses lame.", "id": 24418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A capitate growth like a zit\nForms a head, adding pus bit by bit.\nIf you constantly pop it,\nYou'll likely not stop it\nFrom being a scarified pit.", "id": 24419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On occasion, I treated her baddishly,\nDespite which she fell for me maddishly.\nConcerned she'd gone batty,\nI turned rather ratty\nAnd boorish, then jilted her caddishly.", "id": 24420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"When a leaf is canescent, it reaches\nPubescence,\" a botanist teaches\nHis students, \"And there's\nA new growth of fine hairs\n(Grayish white), like the fuzz on our peaches.\"", "id": 24421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In China, a medical aide\nWorked in rural environs, ill-paid.\nThis \"doctor\" was \"barefoot,\"\nReplacing the harefoot\nOf shamans who once were obeyed.", "id": 24422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Arkansas, Louisiana,\nAnd East Texas around Texarkana,\nThe Indians known\nAs the Caddo were shown\nTo have lived (not in Maine or Montana).", "id": 24423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On my China tour, here were the keys:\nSee the sights, eat the food, drink the teas.\nBut three weeks of this stuff?\nI said, \"Stop, that's enough!\nGive me burgers. No more Cantonese!\"", "id": 24424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sculptor of wood from Caernarvon\nMakes figures exquisitely carven.\nHe's skilled with a knife,\nBut has messed up his life,\n'Cause, let's face it, most artists are starvin'.", "id": 24425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My friend from Hanoi calls me \"fatty,\"\nDeliberately driving me batty.\n\"You're 126\nAnd five-seven!\" she picks.\nSo her unit of weight is the catty.", "id": 24426, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Calypso, a nymph from the sea\nHolds Odysseus captive till he\nGoes and gives her the slip\u2014so\nHe sings\u2014a calypso?\n(The style that his song ought to be.)", "id": 24427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He has candles from Greece and Australia;\nOf tallow and wax he'll regale ya.\nWith the tapers, the wicks,\nThe bobeches, the sticks,\nHe delights in his paraffinalia.", "id": 24428, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Said the voice from Immanuel's oracle,\n\"My command is indeed categorical:\nIt's imperative, son,\nThat your duty be done.\"\nThis I Kant view as merely rhetorical.", "id": 24429, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm drinking and thinking that I owe\nMy love of a prefix like bio-\n(Or bi-, meaning \"living\")\nTo getting a shivving\nAnd kicking in Licking, Ohio.", "id": 24430, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sheikh with a camel named Clyde\nTells a lady he takes for a ride,\n\"Arab horses are cool,\nBut these Bactrians rule.\nYou get double the humps with each stride.\"", "id": 24431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To most women, I'm tr\u00e8s debonair,\nAnd I court with unqualified flair.\nVery few won't undress,\nSo it's seldom I press.\nCategoric refusal is rare.", "id": 24432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "From a feather, the calamus will\nMake an excellent pen or a quill.\nYou can fill it with ink\nTo express what you think,\nBe it noble or run-of-the-mill.", "id": 24433, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Said Hemingway, planning a prank\nOn O'Connor, \"I just want to thank\nAnd congratulate you\nFor your candid review.\nYou were earnest, so I will be frank.\"", "id": 24434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Beijing, people speak Pekingese\u2014\nTo the south, in Guangzhou, Cantonese.\nThough the difference is clear\nTo the Mandarin ear,\nFor all I know, they're both Siamese!", "id": 24435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catholicism: What can I say?\nI was raised in the Church and its way.\nBut I quit on the Pope\nAnd the priests; and I hope\n(But don't pray) there's no devil to pay.", "id": 24436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My wife has a penchant for taking\nHer cold cream and mixing and making\nA paste that she'll place\nOn her neck and her face.\nShe likes smearing and coating and caking.", "id": 24437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I was hoping to dazzle a chick,\nAnd my pal said to lay it on thick.\n\"Get her sapphires,\" he said.\n(I heard samphires instead.)\nWell, those carrots did not do the trick.", "id": 24438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The mineral calcite is found\nIn calcareous stretches of ground.\nWhen you're out for a walk,\nLook for limestone or chalk.\nBe a calcium carbonate hound!", "id": 24439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The canonical hours are time\nFor devotions, like lauds and like prime.\nAfter terce and then sext,\nNone and vespers come next.\nLast, for compline the chapel bells chime.", "id": 24440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In bronchoscopies, docs slip a tube\nThrough the nose (with some lidocaine lube)\nDown the trachea, right\nThrough the bronchus to light\nUp the lung of a long-smoking boob.", "id": 24441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You can call up the lady next door.\nYou can call up the troops in a war.\nAnd called up to the major\nLeague, players, I'll wager,\nHave called down God's blessings\u2014four score!", "id": 24442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Since I've hit twenty limericks now,\nChris J. Strolin saw fit to allow\nMe to workshop and edit.\nHe sure did me credit!\nThat adjutancy's fun, huh?  And how!", "id": 24443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I uncovered a  treatise on weather,\nA volume on hemlock and heather,\nAnd two first editions\nOn ancient munitions,\nEach bound in soft burgundy pleather.", "id": 24444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "To err, it is human\u2014agreed?\nKind correction is all that we need.\nBut a verbal assault,\nFinding nothing but fault,\nComes across as quite captious, indeed!", "id": 24445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "Bifold lexemes unfold, gently ringing;\nTwofold sonance unrolled, softly swinging;\nEvery concept expressed\nUsing lyrics compressed\nInto doublets, duets, ever singing.", "id": 24446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Auntie's calorie-counting each day,\nLosing weight the traditional way,\nBut my diet for you\nHas a measure that's new,\nBeing based on the carbuncle Ray.", "id": 24448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My caddie is off to the glen\nHunting lunch (yes, it's rabbit again).\nMy low-angled wedge\nShould provide him an edge.\nIt's the very first hare club for men.", "id": 24449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A poet and cowboy from Texas\nGave autos to each of his exes:\nA Mazda for Mia,\nTo Carol a Kia.\nFor Helen, the hell-", "id": 24450, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A man who resided in Harwich\nFound motorcars fit to disparage.\nSay people who knew 'im,\nHe favored the brougham\nAnd rode in a horse-driven carriage.", "id": 24451, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Bollywood industry's vast,\nAnd new actors keep coming up fast.\nAre they Sudra or Brahman?\nIt's not so uncommon\nTo wonder who's who in the caste.", "id": 24452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My colleagues have carped at my study.\nMy friends have been calling it cruddy.\nThey've chipped at its thesis\nAnd picked it to pieces.\nOy, vey! Every critic's a buddy.", "id": 24453, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An optimist, sensing the need\nFor a toilet, may somehow succeed\u2014\nFind an aire de repos\nJust by wishing it so,\nAnd then go to perform his Candide.", "id": 24454, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The students are getting unruly\nAnd clogging up halls in a truly\nUnprincipled way,\nLeading teachers to stay\nIn their rooms\u2014even Mr. Bernoulli.", "id": 24455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though I sense his disdain, still I nearly\nFall head over heels, for he clearly\nIs sexy and hot.\nBut I'm gay and he's not,\nSo I, too, will behave cavalierly.", "id": 24456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catecholaminergic reactions\nCan sometimes be more than distractions.\nEpinephrine can start\nOvertaxing the heart,\nLeading docs to be sued for infractions.", "id": 24457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A sequence by Cauchy is such\nThat its members get close, almost touch.\nIt's a series I studied\nIn college, now muddied\nBy dotage, of which I have much.", "id": 24458, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A caudex, as botanists learn,\nIs the stem of a palm or a fern,\nOr the tangled wood base\nOf a plant I embrace\u2014\nThe perennial, oft to return.", "id": 24459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The potheads assemble at dark\nFor a cannabis toke in the park.\nThere's a stranger, a newbie,\nInspecting the doobie,\nSo casing the joint is a narc.", "id": 24460, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Don't do as my poor sister Anne did!\nShe's managed to get herself landed\nWith a chap who's not right,\nJust by being polite\u2014\nWith fellas, it's best to be candid.", "id": 24461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "\"In an infinite sequence that's Cauchy,\nThe elements draw rather close,\" she\nExplained to a shy\nAnd disinterested guy\nIn her math class\u2014the typically gauche he.", "id": 24462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cap sleeve is part of a dress\nOr a blouse that's designed to impress\nBy extending a bit\nPast the shoulder. Is it\nA success? For some women, I guess.", "id": 24463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An artillery gunner is proud\nIf his cannon stands out in the crowd.\nThough the bigger the bore\nMeans the greater the roar,\nCan an ear stand barrages so loud?", "id": 24465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and Graham Lester", "limerick": "A cadaver, a scowl on its face,\nSneered, \"I'd not be caught dead in this place!\nThe service is dismal,\nThe food is abysmal,\nAnd the worms here don't even say grace!\"", "id": 24466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "My parents, selecting the name\nOf each of us, warrant some blame.\nMy twin is Enola,\nAnd I'm called Ebola,\nBut my brother, named Sue, still found fame.", "id": 24467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "See the cabdrivers, cabmen, and hacks\nWho are trolling the city in packs!\nThey're all there when you don't\nNeed a taxi, but won't\nBe in times that you do, so relax.", "id": 24468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On a cableway, gondolas run\nUp a mountain where skiers have fun.\nAt the top is a wheel\nThat performs like a reel,\nWhile the cable (it's steel) weighs a ton.", "id": 24469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cave dweller's living next door\nIn my skyscraper's 43rd floor.\nSince he doesn't come out\nVery often, I doubt\nThat he's noticed it's summer no more.", "id": 24470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The flesh of slain animals spills\nFrom the abattoirs onto the grills\nOf the humans who eat,\nFor their pleasure, the meat\nFrom the carnage of billions of kills.", "id": 24471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anhydrite, aragonite, bone,\nAnd stalactites that form on a stone\nAre all calcium-rich,\nHaving substances which\nAre termed calcic\u2014so chemists have shown.", "id": 24472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A redhead with locks that were curly,\nA carrottopped moppet and girlie,\nWas one of the best\nAt riposting a jest\nWith this wisecrack: \"And don't call me Shirley.\"", "id": 24473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "That the cane toad's a noxious wee beast\nBecomes clear when its toxin's released;\nWhile just licking its warts\nGives a head-rush (of sorts),\nEating all of it leaves one deceased.", "id": 24474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "City hall is the place I will go\nFor cadastral recordings to show\nThat the buildings that stand\nOn the neighboring land\nHave been taxed at a rate that's too low.", "id": 24475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "That the corpses were rotting was plain,\nBut the cannibals couldn't refrain\nFrom devouring the dead,\nTill cadaverine led\nTo the imminent rite of ptomaine.", "id": 24476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calamites: a genus of plants\nFound in fossils from China to France\u2014\nJust a middle-sized tree\nThat most experts agree\nLooked a lot like the horsetail, by chance.", "id": 24477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "His candidness borders on rude,\nSo his colleagues are apt to conclude\nThat he's trying to irk,\nBut he isn't a jerk\u2014\nJust excited to work in the nude.", "id": 24478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Colonial family knew\nThat the shrubs and the pitch pine that grew\nOn their land offered light\nWhen the dusk turned to night\u2014\nThat a candlewood candle would do.", "id": 24479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Brother John! Are you snoring so deep\n'Neath your blankets all piled in a heap?\nYou're a slugabed, sir!\nShake a leg now\u2014bestir\nYourself! What? Have you died in your sleep?", "id": 24480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I discovered a hapless iguana\nWhile fishing in British Guiana.\nHe was swimming alone\nAnd got stripped to the bone\nBy a vicious caribe piranha.", "id": 24481, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Neath the city the catacombs run,\nBringing water and power\u2014each one\nHelping people who live\nUp above. Dare we give\nTo this network its place in the sun?", "id": 24482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My apparent irrational act\nWas examined (but after the fact)\nBy the local police.\nIt was not from caprice\nThat I goosed her and promptly got smacked.", "id": 24483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "You reward 'em and lay it on thick\nWhen they're good, but then switch if they pick\nA recalcitrant track\u2014\nGrab the whip, make it crack.\nThis approach is called carrot-and-stick.", "id": 24484, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The campos and pampas are plains\u2014\nSouth American grasslands where reigns\nThe vaquero, who rides\nWith amigos and guides\nLos ganados, and never complains.", "id": 24485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A canebrake's a place of seclusion,\nA thicket of cane\u2014the illusion\nOf something serene,\nWhile a cane break can mean\n(For a geezer) another contusion.", "id": 24486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's the cannonry up on the hill;\nIt's a battery shooting to kill,\nWhile the soldiers below\nAre the cannery row.\n(They're the barrel of fish, if you will.)", "id": 24487, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cardiopathy's playing a part\nIn his troubles, and so is a tart.\nHis cholesterol's high;\nNow this hooker says bye,\nAnd he loves her. It's breaking his heart.", "id": 24488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The instruction they call catechistic\nHas little to do with the mystic\nAwareness of God.\nIt's akin to the rod\nAnd coercively ritualistic.", "id": 24489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The carrack was broad in the beam,\nA ship that could sail like a dream\nIn the vast ocean deep;\nBut it just couldn't keep\nEnough draft in a shallow or stream.", "id": 24490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our angina's becoming an onus,\nA burden affecting the tonus\nOur heart muscles show.\nIf you happen to know\nOf a cardiotonic, please phone us.", "id": 24491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Serve me beer, by whoever it's made\u2014\nBock or pilsner, whatever the grade.\nI'm a fan of what's brewed;\nI put lager in food.\nHere I'm stewed eating beef carbonnade!", "id": 24492, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This camera's employed as a cop trick\u2014\nIts sensors are catadioptric.\nHe'll watch from a hammock\nWith views panoramic\nThat show every robbing-the-shop trick.", "id": 24493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The artillery guns are arrayed\nOn the hill overlooking the glade.\nWhen they blow, they'll bestow\nOn the foe down below\nLoads of woe\u2014with a full cannonade.", "id": 24494, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A yawn's my conditioned response\nTo another's aggression and taunts.\nMy casualness serves\nTo disguise frazzled nerves.\nI'm a master of feigned nonchalance.", "id": 24495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here are notes from my quarterback class\nAbout throwing a catchable pass:\nKeep the wideout in sight,\nMake a spiral that's tight,\nAnd prepare to get knocked on your ass.", "id": 24496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "All the crawdads were caudad-positioned\n(Their tails almost touching)\u2014auditioned\nFor grilling that night\nTo our dining delight.\nEvery crayfish was proudly commissioned.", "id": 24497, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A canner's a woman or man\nWho can seal or make airtight a can,\nGive a slip that is pink\nTo a worker, or sink\nA three-pointer to shut up a fan.", "id": 24498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My mother's a cook who will graciously\nLay out the food I voraciously\nGobble until\nMy intestines will fill\nIn a way that is known as \"capaciously.\"", "id": 24499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a case or a cupboard with doors,\nA collection of stamps or of spores.\nIt's a room holding art,\nOr advisors so smart\nThey've agreed to our President's wars.", "id": 24500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A phenol extracted from mints\nMakes this carvacrol's chemical rinse,\nGood for killing the scores\nOf bacterial spores\nLeft behind in our germ-laden prints.", "id": 24502, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One yenta who thrives on attention\nHas chutzpah, but hews to convention.\nShe kvells at the klatsch, cuz\nShe loves trading tchotchkes\u2014\nAnd tidbits on machers and menschen.", "id": 24503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Neuroleptics are used when a life\nSuffers dire psychological strife.\nFor these powerful tranqs,\nMany schizos give thanks,\nSince delusions no longer are rife.", "id": 24504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There once was a golfer named Paddy\nWho bought his assistant (a laddie)\nA motorized cart\nThat was state-of-the-art:\nFor his caddy, the Caddy of caddies.", "id": 24505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A catamount eyeing the minks\nOn a fur farm intrepidly slinks,\nAs it follows the scents,\nTo a high-voltage fence.\nHave you ever had barbecued lynx?", "id": 24506, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This carnage we wreak is insanity,\nWhich flows from our hubris and vanity.\nWe power our boats\nThrough a mammal that floats.\nOh, the crimes that we do to you, manatee!", "id": 24507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It swung and it hung and it jiggled.\nShe grabbed it, and that's when it wriggled.\n\"Oh my goodness,\" she cried.\n\"Now what's wrong?\" he replied.\n\"You're caudate,\" she gasped: then she giggled.", "id": 24508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's necrosis on both of my knees\nFrom this flesh-eating, vicious disease.\nCaseation's begun,\nAnd the tissue on one\nLooks a little like Limburger cheese.", "id": 24510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The dutiful apiarist sees\nThat his hives serve to pollinate trees.\nIn return, he gets honey\nAnd hears, while it's sunny,\nThe \"murmuring of innumerable bees\".", "id": 24512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris Young", "limerick": "It's Bering time, five in the morn,\nSo in Nome the cock crows in the corn;\nWhile in Greenwich it's four,\nAnd the chicks I adore\nStart their baring time\u2014nothing is worn.", "id": 24513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Canna genus of lilies entrance?\nCanna tropical herb be, by chance,\nSuch a source of delights\nIt enchants and excites?\nCanna verse sing the praises of plants?", "id": 24514, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catholicism offers the hope\nOf eternal salvation\u2014and, nope,\nYou don't have to behave,\n'Cause confession will save\nYou the trouble (or so says the Pope).", "id": 24515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The tux that you bought me's unwearable;\nIts fabric is chintzy and tearable.\nIt soon will be torn\nAnd unfit to be worn,\nSo it cannot be borne. It's unbearable.", "id": 24516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The urologist acted surprised\nWhen he looked at my eyes and advised,\n\"Since your pupils are yellow,\nYour bladder, my fellow,\nMust quickly be catheterized.\"", "id": 24517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Tums that I chew are calciferous,\nProducing effects salutiferous.\nTheir carbonate (calcium)\nBoosts my morale\u2014see 'em\nDouse all my heartburn. Splendiferous!", "id": 24518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To the Winnipeg River it slinks,\nLooks around, and then furtively drinks.\nEver cautious, this deer\nHas a wildcat to fear\u2014\nThe intrepid Canadian lynx.", "id": 24519, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A farmer who's sticking his arm\nIn a thresher is filled with alarm.\nWhen the blades start to move,\nHe gets caught in a groove\nAnd discovers he's buying the farm.", "id": 24520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Signorina Puccini of Italy\nCould play the coquette rather prettily;\nBut she bristled when men\nActed cold now and then\nBy ignoring or treating her brittlely.", "id": 24521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A pitcher may challenge and psych\nAn opponent with pitches he'd like\u2014\nThrowing heat down the pipe\nTo a slugger, the type\nWho will swing and not take a called strike.", "id": 24522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's building a fire under folks\nThat successfully spurs and provokes\nThem to vigorous action.\nLet's wake up this faction\u2014\nOur hotfoots ain't meant to be jokes!", "id": 24523, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cajeput tree is a myrtle\u2014\nAustralian, invasive, and fertile.\nTransplanted, it stands\nOn Floridian lands,\nWhere it's shading the gator and turtle.", "id": 24524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cashier's check is drawn by a bank\nOn its funds, and I'd just like to thank\nThat outstanding young teller\n(A wonderful feller)\nFor leaving the \"pay-to\" part blank.", "id": 24525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's Cal who's supplied me with hash\nAnd a pipe\u2014for a pittance in cash.\nBut he's out of his gourd\nAnd can barely afford\nHis own blast, so I'll throw calabash.", "id": 24526, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To Gomorrah an actress will slouch\n(So the Hollywood gossipers vouch),\nWhen her driving ambition\nAccepts an audition\nWhere casting occurs on a couch.", "id": 24527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A timber projects near the prow\nOf a ship (like a frigate or scow),\nWhether moving or moored.\nHere the anchor's secured,\nBut this cathead's not saying \"meow.\"", "id": 24528, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A candler holds eggs to the light\nTo examine their contents by sight.\nAnd those blood clots he sees?\nWell, his eggs could be these:\nOver easy\u2014red, yellow, and white.", "id": 24529, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An alien came to her door.\n\"In search of new worlds to explore?\"\nShe asked the strange creature.\nIt tried to beseech her\nFor Hallowe'en treats she'd in store.", "id": 24530, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In a square in Beijing, Carrefour\nHas a store that announces, \"Bon jour!\"\nAt a crossroads it sits,\nSelling everything\u2014it's\nChina's leader for food and couture.", "id": 24531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bill Clinton was hung out to dry\nWhen he stupidly tried to deny\nHaving sex with a dame.\nKenneth Starr got acclaim\nWhen he caught out the Prez in a lie.", "id": 24532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When a catalogue's dubbed raisonn\u00e9,\nIt's a Frenchified way you can say\nAnnotations exist,\nIn an index or list,\nOf the works that will be on display.", "id": 24533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The banded brush beetle's a bug,\nBut the kind you'd see under your rug?\nI'm unable to say\u2014\nI've been looking all day,\nBut no info's available. <Shrug.>", "id": 24534, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you buy in your items from sale\nAt the auction, it means that they fail\nTo garner the price\nThat you set to suffice\nTo successfully cover your tail.", "id": 24535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calcium gluconate's one\nOf the supplements sometimes begun\nBy the geezers like me\nWho need vitamin D,\nBut are warned to stay out of the sun.", "id": 24536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcium oxalate found\nIn my urine is chemically bound\nTo the stones I've amassed\nIn my kidney and passed.\nHey, the big ones weigh more than a pound!", "id": 24537, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcium silicate used\nIn construction has limestone that's fused\nTo both clinker and clay.\nThere are shoes made this way\nWhen the Mafia isn't amused.", "id": 24538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My cloddishness rarely delights\nAnd my boorishness often incites.\nI'm a scoundrel and cur,\nOften quick with a slur.\nYes, my caddishness even starts fights.", "id": 24539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The brazier who brasses my hat\nAnd the braiser who's cooking in fat\nAre truly amazing,\nBut here I'll be praising\nThe brazer who soldered my vat.", "id": 24540, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "There's a South Asian tree, calamander,\nThat is striped like a rare salamander.\nIt's a hazel-brown wood;\nD. hirsuta looks good\nWhen it's worked with a plane, then a sander.", "id": 24541, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This cyanamide compound kills weeds,\nSo it helps before planting your seeds.\nIt has calcium, too,\nBut it just wouldn't do\nFor addressing your nutritive needs.", "id": 24542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Hey, Jack, don't you stare at my rack.\nDo ya want me to give ya a smack?\"\n\"I'm so sorry. My stare\nGloms your fine derriere;\nI declare that I'm taken aback.\"", "id": 24543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "You stepped on my plastic dog poo,\nWith your best, most expensive suede shoe.\nOh, the curses you cried\nFrom that ill-fated stride \u2014\nCaca phony? Cacophony too.", "id": 24544, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This poem is lyric, not stony\u2014\nItalian, but not by Marconi.\nPerhaps Proven\u00e7al,\nAlthough not by Mistral,\nIt's the songlike, medieval canzone.", "id": 24545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sigg", "limerick": "A bishop named Arius taught:\nFrom the Father the Son was begot;\nSo the Son's not eternal\u2014\nA view so infernal\nThe Empire convulsed at the thought.", "id": 24546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Taptowtskis are saddled with debt,\nAnd the deputy sheriff's a threat.\nHe's a catchpole\u2014one sent\nWith a clear-cut intent:\nTo arrest them and see that they sweat.", "id": 24547, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Calvary cross has a base\nWith three steps, representing the grace\nOf the Trinity, right?\n(That's a guess, so I might\nHave some crucifix egg on my face.)", "id": 24548, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our bones are calcareous. Why?\nThey have calcium in them, so I\nSwitched to milk drinks from tea\nFor the vitamin D.\nNow my bone mass and density's high.", "id": 24549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Going camelback, Ahab the guide\nTook his Bactrian out for a ride.\nBeing stuck between humps,\nHe was down in the dumps,\nGetting bumped on his rump with each stride.", "id": 24550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calamus grows in the fen,\nAnd its oil is extracted by men\nFor medicinal use\nThat can lead to abuse\nWith a slip of the pharmacist's pen.", "id": 24551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Good Morning! Let's come out and play!\nYou'll meet lots of neat friends on the way:\nMr. Moose, Dancing Bear,\nMr. Green Jeans are there.\nJoin the Captain\u2014how perfect a day.", "id": 24552, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "That's an atlatl holding a dart,\nWhich gets flung at a bear or a hart.\nIt's a killing machine\nAnd a weapon once seen\nBy the Tlingit as state of the art.", "id": 24553, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "In Cretaceous Dakota long past\nSwam the archelon, massive and vast.\nWith its powerful beak,\nFood like squid it would seek.\nNow this turtle's 'neath land that's long grassed.", "id": 24554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "This bubblegum flavor's a new chew;\nIt's a marketing-research-to-do chew.\nWhere's it made? Chattanooga.\nWill taste buds ah-ooh-ga?\nWill bubbles be blown with this chew-chew?", "id": 24555, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A neophyte nun sits before\nA mirror.  She hopes to restore\nA flawless complexion.\nAstringent perfection\nIs needed when helping the pore.", "id": 24557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"Pickled garnish is gone like a vapor!\nBudding criminals?\" trumpets the paper.\n\"Catch the thieves!\" folks demand,\n\"'Cause our food is too bland.\"\nWill the crooks get away with the caper?", "id": 24558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Your memory bandwidth is slow\nAnd severely impedes data flow,\nSo the CPU suffers.\nAdd localized buffers?\nYou cache in your chips?  Way to go!", "id": 24559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "\"To walk without warmup's a gamble.\"\nI whined, \"I can just barely shamble!\"\nBut a slow constitutional\nProved restitutional.\nNo need for a drawn-out pre-amble.", "id": 24560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS and Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The founding of banks is much better\nThan robbing or being one's debtor.\nYou'll grow with the crew,\nAnd you'll get what is due\nAs director and salary setter.", "id": 24561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A poet is plagued with the blues;\nNothing rhymes \u2014 what calamitous news!\nSo he walks, lost in thought,\nAll the day, all for naught,\n'Cause he should have gone home to his mews.", "id": 24562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Broke my arm on a Hollywood set \u2014\nWill they treat me? I'm deeply in debt.\nBut the doc said, \"For you,\nSomeone nubile and new,\nOn my casting couch, plastered you'll get.\"", "id": 24563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "At a party, some friendly advice:\nGetting people to mingle is nice.\nYou should keep it low-key\nOr the people will flee.\nSkip titanic when breaking the ice.", "id": 24564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "He's all-knowing, omniscient, on high,\nBut tells jokes as a down-to-earth guy.\nAt the deli, he's teaching \u2014\nEnough of his preaching!\nWe're calling, \"Put swami on wry.\"", "id": 24565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "\"A vegetable fire?!\" I shriek,\n\"Lettuce hope that it's choked as I speak.\nDo you carrot's so hard?\nCan they turnip unchard?\"\n(I yam glad flames were squashed by a leek.)", "id": 24566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Carbonation in drinks that you swallow\nGives you bloating \u2014 that gas feels muy malo.\nIf I give you this Pepsi a\nCase of dyspepsia\nYou'll see \u2014 oh! too soon it will follow.", "id": 24567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Engaged in a causerie, Matt\nAnd Melinda discussed this and that.\nNothing deep or profound,\nJust who's sleeping around,\nOr why stripes make Melinda look fat.", "id": 24568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You like tunes in your car?  Then equip\nIt with gear that is modern and hip.\nPlay cassettes or CDs,\nBut avoid all LPs.\nWhen your car hits a bump, they will skip.", "id": 24569, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "At the ski resort, this you should know:\nTo avoid getting stuck in the snow,\nDon't get caught at the top\nWhen the cable cars stop \u2014\nWhich they do when the wind starts to blow.", "id": 24570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A tourist who dines in Osaka\nOn sushi from fish called medaka\nMay skip to the loo\nWithout further ado\nFor a sudden and furious caca.", "id": 24571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Though the alley and lane look the same\nAs in tenpins, here's candlepins' fame:\nSince the ball's very small,\nAnd the pins thin and tall,\nNo one's bowling a 300-game.", "id": 24572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alley Oop's a Neanderthal hunter\u2014\nThe stereotypical grunter.\nDoes the caveman remain\nIn the genes and the brain\nOf the modern-day, manly affronter?", "id": 24573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cries the carnival caterer, Barney,\nA huckster with bluster and blarney:\n\"Come, ladies and gents,\nIt's just twenty-five cents!\nStep right up for my chili con carny!\"", "id": 24574, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "His crowning achievement in life\nIs this capstone: a wonderful wife\nWhom he wed as a virgin\n(Intact when a surgeon\nRestored her with suture and knife).", "id": 24575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and SheilaB", "limerick": "At the highest church dinners I've been,\nWhen I order a wine, others grin.\nThough the archbishop might\nAsk for red or dry white,\nI get pink. (That's a cardinal Zin.)", "id": 24576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cadastre's a register showing\nHow sales in the county are going\nOn parcels of land,\nWhere the boundaries stand,\nAnd what taxes the owners are owing.", "id": 24577, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On my Catalan farm, I'll allow\nThat the oxen out pulling the plow\nIn the lightning and rain\nAre in danger\u2014that's plain,\nSo I'm bringing the cattle in now.", "id": 24578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In search of a happier life,\nA carver selected a knife,\nCut a tenderloin roast,\nPoured the wine, made a toast,\nThen proceeded to slice up his wife.", "id": 24579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Mom's explained what I may and I mayn't,\nSo my life will be one of restraint.\nAnd as soon as I die,\nI'll be canonized. Why?\nMom'd faint if I cain't be a saint.", "id": 24580, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Motown's Tigers (not \"Pumas\" or \"Pards\"),\nWith their hopes and dreams shattered to shards,\nSaid, \"We've lost! Please don't boo us,\nYou fans of St. Louis!\nOur doom was foretold in the Cards!\"", "id": 24581, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and David", "limerick": "\"In my cabinet lies, put away,\nCabernet that I purchased today.\nWhen I offer a drink,\"\nSniffed the wine snob, \"I think\nI shall speak of my 'wine cabin\u00e9.'\"", "id": 24582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm unable to stop it, so I\nCannot help but continue to lie.\nPathologically driven\nTo fib, it's a given\nThat anything true I'll deny.", "id": 24584, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Aboukir marks the spot on the Nile\nWhere the French were outwitted in style\nBy Lord Nelson and fleet,\nIn a crushing defeat\nFor d'Aigalliers's cunning and guile.", "id": 24585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When his cardiac failure began,\nDocs concocted a radical plan.\nWhat they take from an ermine\nWill serve to determine\nThe fate of a stoat-hearted man.", "id": 24588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Arbitrariness shows in the way\nAll the orders I issue convey,\nIn a pigheaded voice,\nEvery whimsical choice\nThat I make. Hey, I mean what I say!", "id": 24589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The mate at the helm of a scow\nCuts a dugong in two with its prow.\nWhen the captain yells \"Stop!\"\nAnd starts blowing his top,\nSays the mate, \"Don't be halving a cow!\"", "id": 24590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A small northern fish like the cod,\nThe capelin's a creature of God.\nAnd the source of his name\nIs exactly the same\nAs a chaplain's. Now isn't that odd?", "id": 24591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Johnny Rebs were defeated and staggery,\nBeleaguered by Northerners' waggery.\nComing after the War,\nIt made Southerners sore\nTo be mocked by these fools' carpetbaggery.", "id": 24592, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One's the knob at the end of a cannon.\nOne's a pepper so hot you'll be fannin'\nYour mouth if you eat it.\nOne's a threat if you meet it:\nA viper that scares this Montanan.", "id": 24593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's artifice, intrigue, a plot!\nThis cabal of usurpers has got\nThe clandestine intent\nTo connive and foment\nA rebellion! Let's legalize pot!", "id": 24594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A buy-in of chips is the start\nOf your poker career\u2014and a part\nOf Las Vegas's charm,\nTill it's cost you an arm\nAnd a leg and it's broken your heart.", "id": 24595, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The petite calamondin's a tree\nAnd a fruit that's as tart as can be.\nIt's a bit like a lime\nAnd an orange, so I'm\nGonna try it today in my tea.", "id": 24596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Steve Cauthen, the jockey, was flip\nAnd as quick with his crop as a quip.\n\"Though in judgment I'm green,\nJust a salad-dazed teen,\nAt my craft I'm a 'Miracle Whip.'\"", "id": 24597, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Her albums have gone solid gold,\nWhile on stage she's a sight to behold\u2014\nWith a voice to beguile\nAnd a heavenly smile\nCaptivating the crowd, young and old.", "id": 24598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm your typical dirty old man,\nInto browsing those sites from Japan.\nBut my wife checked the cache\nAnd discovered the stash.\nI was nailed: it was catch-as-cache-can.", "id": 24599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To investigate, this way and that,\nShe comes stealthily soft, pit-a-pat.\nCuriousity-filled,\nShe's regrettably killed\u2014\nSo in pace, let requies cat.", "id": 24600, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My stomach's bound up in a knot,\nThe result of a bungled-up plot.\nI need Tums and some Pepto\n(Good thing I'm a klepto).\nAm I bound for a cold jailhouse cot?", "id": 24601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "As porter, take in what one offers\nAt temple and guard against scoffers.\nAsuppim can earn ya\nAn unholy hernia,\nSo work two by two in the coffers.", "id": 24602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The day is at hand, and the night\nIs far spent. Let us see fit to fight\nWorks of darkness: Awake,\nIt's high time! For love's sake,\nLet us put on the armour of light.", "id": 24603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Canopus: You shine from afar,\nMany light years away, oh bright star.\nSecond only to Sirius,\nRemote and mysterious:\nI wonder how far out you are?", "id": 24604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Al-taschith, in the temple's employ,\nWas a singer who gave David joy.\nTo the Maestro, we read,\nAl-taschith. And we heed\nAl by saving his psalms: \"Don't destroy.\"", "id": 24605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Now Angela likes angiology;\nHer guardian angel, theology.\nAngie likes blood and lymph,\nBut her self-centered nymph\nTempts her sorely to try angelology.", "id": 24606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar,\n\"We feel for your loss, Job, but so far,\nYou've not made your case.\nYou're the deuce, God's the ace,\nAnd it's no use to blow your own shofar.\"", "id": 24607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Your anthroposociological\nStudies are fine pedagogical\nEfforts that span\nThe environs and man\u2014\nVery fine, but a little hodge-podgical.", "id": 24608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Precise controlled growth is quotidian\nIn embryos. If the obsidian-\nlike action, so fixed,\nBecomes damaged or nixed\nAnd the embryo's a blob, it's anidian.", "id": 24609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "In Hebrew, his name is Abaddon,\nThis king that the patchwork folk had on\nThe throne of the pit\nInto which you can't spit\nTo the bottom, and boy! He's a plaid 'un.", "id": 24610, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Hot all over, the lover boy gave her\nA louver adorned with a laver.\nAh, love! The receiver,\nNo fever allever,\nWashed up, stayed aloof, withheld favor.", "id": 24611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "If your darling should greet you with glowers,\nOne remedy has special powers\nTo bring back a smile:\nBe anthophorous while\nSaying sorry\u2014and come bearing flowers.", "id": 24612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Queen Anne, whose good heart was no worse\nFor her faith, was to annates adverse.\nHer bounty unbounded,\nShe chartered and founded\nA poor parsons' fund with the purse.", "id": 24613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "My transgression is sealed in a bag\n(Zigzag hem, slip-proof drawstring, you brag).\nMy iniquity's sewn\nUp within; like a stone\nIt weighs heavy and makes the bag sag.", "id": 24614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Our eyes can see clearly by dint\nOf good muscles, but if you've a hint\nOf strabismus, you cope:\nSee a doc for anop-\nsia, dear\u2014just the hint of a squint.", "id": 24615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"O ye barren, who haven't borne, sing!\"\nSays the Lord, \"You're not missing a thing!\nSo you skipped the travail\u2014\nHear that desolate wail?\nDeath, for children unborn, has no sting.\"", "id": 24616, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands and Recumbentman", "limerick": "The crop of the oak tree is stunning.\nThough the yield's seldom good two years running,\nThe tree is splendiferous,\nStrong, balaniferous\u2014\nA corny occasion for punning.", "id": 24617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "I pour it on steak every day; it\nCan sure gussy up a filet! It\nTastes great on a sandwich.\nThis catsup is grand, which\nIs why, when my cat wakes, I say it!", "id": 24618, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Parshandah'ta, Dalfon', and Aspah'ta\nAridai', Arisai', and Porah'ta\u2014\nGet Arid'atha sons\nOf a gun, Haman's huns\u2014\nAdah'lya, Parmahsh'ta, Vaizah'ta.", "id": 24619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Lest the priests, who deliver God's speeches,\nBear iniquity\u2014Exodus teaches\u2014\nThey need cloth of a size\nTo conceal loins and thighs;\nThey and theirs shall forever wear breeches.", "id": 24620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Let your plowshares be beat into swords;\nMake of pruninghooks spears for the hordes.\nWhen a roar like a lion\nPounds holy Mount Zion,\nYou'll know that it's wholly the Lord's.", "id": 24621, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "A bald man, on whose head hair is not,\nIs as clean as a man who has got\nAn abundance of hair.\nThat's not leprosy there,\nBut beware of a white reddish spot.", "id": 24622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "King Achish of Gath said to Dave,\n\"Tell me, how go the roads that you pave?\"\nMen and women were dead\nWho might else have gainsaid\nThe highwayman answer Dave gave.", "id": 24623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "For Rachel, there was no tomorrow,\nAnd Ben was the last son she bore. Oh,\nThat Jake! He denied\nHer last wish as she died:\n\"He's Benoni, the son of my sorrow.\"", "id": 24624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A marathon night of TV\nIs an audiovisual spree\u2014\nSensation abounds\nAs the sights and the sounds\nMelt my brain at a quarter past three.", "id": 24625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The hide has a holy appeal;\nWhere it came from, we cannot reveal.\nWhat was skinned for the tent?\nWhat we lack, we invent:\nDolphin? Antelope? Badger? Or seal?", "id": 24626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "If you work for George Cayley, take fright,\nFor today you just might  take a flight!\nIt's eighteen fifty-three\u2014\nJohn (a coachman) flies free,\nFifty years ere those fellows called Wright.", "id": 24627, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At the auction I'm watching the clock;\nSeems that bid of a thou is a lock.\nThat's my loo, and it's plush;\nWhen it's sold, I'll be flush\nWith success\u2014yes, my head's on the block.", "id": 24628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks and David", "limerick": "Dear, that scheme is distinctly depressing.\nThe rate's astronomic, I'm guessing.\nRenting land on Uranus\nIs likely to drain us \u2014\nNo, I don't think I'll give it my blessing.", "id": 24629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Tales of Beowulf, strongest of men,\nWere recited again and again\nIn the ancestral mead hall.\nToday we can read all\nThe sagas of heroes back then.", "id": 24630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the zoo there is much disarray\nAt the new crocodilian display.\nAll the animals act\nLike they're being attacked\nBy the gator that caiman today.", "id": 24631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a term to be seen and not heard\nIn this verse, which at first seems absurd.\nThink of weaving a chair\nWith a wickerwork flair.\nCan ingeniousness dig up the word?", "id": 24632, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the minimum number of tons\nThey can ship at a freight rate that runs\nSomewhat more than the charge\nIf they send 'em by barge.\nSo let's order a carload of guns.", "id": 24633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you purchase enough of a stock\nThat you own a majority block,\nYou have bought in. Your role?\nYou are now in control\nOf the company's barrel and lock.", "id": 24634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As a yellow-brown poisonous salt,\nIs this cadmium sulfide at fault\nFor the retches and heaves\nOf that meanie, Miss Reeves,\nWho's the teacher I just served a malt?", "id": 24635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Catalectic: a verse that is missing\nA syllable.  Judges are hissing:\n\"Your meter is off,\nAnd your rhyme makes us scoff.\nCan you tell us the meaning of this?\"", "id": 24636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Carbon black is a substance in smoke\nThat is spewing from stacks burning coke.\nIt will settle as soot\nOn the ground or your foot\nAnd, inhaled, incapacitate folk.", "id": 24637, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Making notes on the steers in the mob\nIs an overworked cowherd named Bob.\nHe's been at it since dawn\nAnd now stifles a yawn.\nCattle logging's a tedious job.", "id": 24638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those catechism classes I had\nAt St. Michael's each Sunday were bad.\nThe nuns appeared cool\nWhen I challenged a rule,\nBut then smacked me for making them mad.", "id": 24639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the blackness of Allhallows Eve,\nGhouls and goblins have gathered to weave\nFearsome plots, fiendish schemes,\nHaunting spells, daunting dreams,\nAll to make disbelievers believe.", "id": 24640, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "She insistently whispers, excited;\nHer eyes are alight and delighted.\nBe she angel in flight\nOr a devil tonight,\nBlissful Hell keeps her fire ignited.", "id": 24641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When Richard the pitcher was fatter,\nHis splitter the hitters would splatter.\nOnce the score didn't matter,\nThose hitters would scatter,\nSince, bitter, he hit every batter!", "id": 24642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He's a cowering, quivering mess;\nHis mom found him wearing her dress.\nBut here's the real catch \u2014\nShoes and handbag don't match;\nThat's what really is causing distress.", "id": 24644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Meet Anu. He's the star of the show:\nLord of demons and dungeons below\nAnd the earth and the skies,\nIn Sumerian eyes\n(Or he was, six millenniums ago).", "id": 24645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "It's a peppermint stick with a bend,\nAnd a symbol of Christ, some contend.\nWhy does legend proclaim\nIt was made in His name?\nAsk the candy cane guy in South Bend.", "id": 24646, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS and SusanL", "limerick": "While you went for a weekend to Rome,\nYour new washer spat masses of foam.\nIt smothered the floor,\nBarely dammed by the door:\nYou will need antifoam when you're home.", "id": 24647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A ballot should faithfully note\nEach candidate getting a vote.\nBut election machines\nCan be hacked and that means\nVoters don't have a trustworthy tote.", "id": 24648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you are an autodidact,\nAnd you wish to make tissue contract,\nTry to buy an adstringent\u2014\nBut success is contingent\nOn your pharmacist's knowledge and tact.", "id": 24649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "My widget got stuck. In a panic\nI summoned a nanomechanic.\n\"I can fix it, of course.\nIt's your Casimir force.\"\nHis bill wasn't small, but titanic.", "id": 24650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "This youngster's a wonderful host,\nNot attempting to frighten like most.\nIf he greets you with \"Boo!\"\nThat's just \"How do you do?\"\nHe's Casper the Friendly young Ghost!", "id": 24651, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "There once was a Flemish cartographer\nWho married a Russian topographer.\nThey mapped out a life\nFree of trouble and strife.\nTheir oldest is now a chorographer.", "id": 24652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": " Capitulate, in a campaign,\nMeans \"surrender\" \u2014 whatever the pain.\nSo it's strange the formation\nRecapitulation\nMeans no more than \"doing again\".", "id": 24653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Two nine-year-olds, sucking on Slurpees,\nWere discussing the study of CERPIES\nWhen, digressing, one said,\n\"Though they're things people dread,\nYou know canker sores aren't caused by herpes.\"", "id": 24654, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Totally blitzed, we're wiped out; nothin's left\nOf our home and our stuff. The whole weft\nAnd the warp of our life\nIs gone missin'. Mah wife\nAnd the kids ah all right, but bereft.", "id": 24655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "These cataracts cloud up my vision.\nI can no longer see with precision.\nI see halos round light,\nAnd I'm sightless at night,\nSo my lenses are due for excision.", "id": 24656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A catnapper  kidnaps your kitty\n(A thought that is not very pretty).\nTo prevent this, take care\nAnd don't catnap; beware!\nHe might seize your Burmese\u2014more's the pity!", "id": 24657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The carry-on bag, called a carryall,\nMakes tourists now part of a \"tarry all\".\nNine-eleven, alas,\nMeans that pains in the ass\nAre employed now to X-ray and harry all.", "id": 24658, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you want to impress your girl, Frieda,\nYou can buy her a novel by Gide, a\nNew Lexus Sedan\u2014\nShe's a jellyfish fan?\nWin her praise with some sweet Acraspeda.", "id": 24659, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "So the bank has my cash and I know\n('Cause they promised) that's where it will grow.\nEvery month they will add\nAccrued interest. I'm glad\u2014\nThat's the part of my dough I can blow.", "id": 24660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Be attentive and keep on your guard\nIn this game, which for newbies is hard.\nNow the numbers they call\nGive you five that are all\nOn the row down the left of your card!", "id": 24662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There's a red badge of courage that's won\nIn a battle where blood rivers run\nFrom the soldiers who fell.\nAll this carnage is hell,\nWrought by men with the sword and the gun.", "id": 24663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A parrot or cuckoo would do\u2014\nA canary or cockatoo, too.\nI'm planning to buy\nA new cageling to try\nOut the coop that my birdie just flew.", "id": 24664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calamander's a hazel-brown wood\nThat our makers of furniture could\nUse more often in chairs,\nBut that's only if there's\nSome more folks for whom black stripes are good.", "id": 24665, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's as much as a cart's gonna hold,\nBe it guano, garbanzos, or gold.\nThere are golf carts and go-carts\nAnd tea carts, but no cart's\nGot more than a cartload, all told.", "id": 24666, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've heard that the Caucasoid's white,\nHaving features and skin that are light.\nAnd I'm told that a caucus\nOf skinheads is raucous,\nAsserting their power and might.", "id": 24667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The actors who want to play kings;\nThe horseshoes on stallions in rings;\nAspersions and doubt;\nAnd a lure for a trout:\nAll examples of castable things.", "id": 24668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Our daughters behave and excel,\nWhile our sons often put us through hell.\nWe don't coddle the males,\nBut just paddle their tails,\nSince a caudal shellacking works well.", "id": 24669, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We were casting around for a seat,\nBut the theater was packed, so we beat\nA retreat to the lobby,\nGot downcast and sobby,\nThen cast around there for a sweet.", "id": 24670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To some, the word canker means \"rust,\"\nAnd to others, it's \"dog rose\"; but just\nFor the record, to more\nIt means \"ulcer\" or \"sore\"\n(And to most, it elicits disgust).", "id": 24671, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "For a compound of carbon, we take\nIn the element boron to make\nA material which\nIs so hard it's a bitch\nTo incise, to compress, or to break.", "id": 24672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The candytuft, white, pink, or purple,\nA blossom to make a bird chirp, 'll\nMake people peep too,\nFrom Gibraltar right through\nTo the gardens of Constantinurple.", "id": 24673, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are compounds of carbon we find\nThat work well when we polish and grind\nEven iron and steel.\nBoron carbide's appeal\nIs a hardness that's one of a kind.", "id": 24674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "CNN's Larry King is the host\nOf a nightly TV show that most\nOf America's seen.\nThere's a call-in routine\nKeeping phoners in touch and engrossed.", "id": 24675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cajoler's a coaxer and flatterer\u2014\nA blandisher, wheedler, and chatterer.\nHe persuades the na\u00efve\nWith \"You gotta believe!\"\nWhat a sweet-talking mind-over-matterer!", "id": 24678, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If a grandchild you'd fain antecede,\nInterceding is needed, indeed,\nTo remind your descendants\nThey're behind in dependents,\nSo they'd better get busy and breed.", "id": 24679, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "First they glow in a row, as they're blessed.\nThen they shine in a line, eight abreast.\nThen eventually smoulder\nWhen spent in their holder,\nSo the wicked can finally rest.", "id": 24680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "On a balmy and bright summer's day,\nCaravanners will get in your way,\nBlocking up all the roads\nWith their unwieldy loads.\nHow those trailers meander and sway!", "id": 24681, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A carpel's a part of a pistil.\nA carpal? That bone in your wrist'll\nHelp steer when you drive\nIn the carpool with five\nOf your buddies each morning to Bristol.", "id": 24682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "We say \"CAR-bray-tor,\" here in D.C.,\nAlthough none of our Brit friends agree.\nFor they add in one letter,\nAnd say \"carbuRETTor\" \u2014\nYou know how those blokes love their T.", "id": 24683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You may cark that you'll probably cark,\nAs that cark's pretty close to the mark,\nBut to worry you'll die\nIn the end \u2014 my, oh, my \u2014\nIs a drain on your life's precious spark.", "id": 24684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Though it's called \"candy corn,\" I'm suspicious\nOf this Halloween treat.  It's delicious,\nBut as sure as you're born,\nThough the name contains corn,\nI suspect that it's not that nutritious.", "id": 24685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and mike scholtes", "limerick": "The catastrophists looked at the Earth\nThrough the Genesis tale of its birth.\nFossils stuck in the mud\nWere explained by the Flood.\nOf such thinkers today, there's a dearth.", "id": 24686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Aglossia: robber of speech.\nIf a teacher, then how would you teach?\nAnd how could you savour\nYour food and its flavour?\nWith no tongue, could a priest ever preach?", "id": 24687, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "See that apple? Now isn't it cute!\nMy kitty looks just like that fruit.\nI see whiskers and eyes\nIn that pippin disguise.\nSuch a catfacing's truly a beaut.", "id": 24688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Reserves and the National Guard\nFind their lives get a little bit hard\nWhen a call-up occurs\nAnd each soldier defers\nSlapping steaks on the grill in the yard.", "id": 24689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A mixture of whiting and glue,\nIt's what's used by a plastering crew.\nI put calcimine on\nAll the walls of my john,\nAdding decals of Winnie the Pooh!", "id": 24690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This alcohol's flammable, light,\nAlso toxic and volatile\u2014quite\nInsalubrious traits.\nBut since carbinol rates\nAs a solvent, that makes it all right.", "id": 24691, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "My shiny red trike hit a tree\n(Which was bad, both for it and for me).\nBut my mom had no qualm\u2014\n'Twas a coconut palm\u2014\nFrom its oil she made balm for my knee.", "id": 24692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Made of protein, a virus's shell,\nCalled a capsid, has things it does well:\nIt protects what's inside,\nFinds a target to ride,\nThen attaches and opens the cell.", "id": 24693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My nephew's a young engineer\nWho has blindly pursued his career.\nHe has split from his wife,\nHas no personal life\u2014\nHis careerism's toxic, I fear.", "id": 24694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I adore Miss Ayeesha McCale,\nFor her brazenness shocks without fail.\nShe's the Muslim who's dressy,\nAnd as Scottish as Nessie,\nIn her eye-catching full tartan veil!", "id": 24695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "A twitcher, in search of a bird,\nMade a promise that everyone heard.\n\"If that isn't a chat,\nI'll devour my hat!\"\nIt was not; he was true to his word.", "id": 24697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend Larry, from Dallas, in Texas,\nLoves to drive around town in his Lexus.\nThough he can't get a date,\nDon't bemoan the guy's fate\u2014\nTo his car goes his major cathexis.", "id": 24698, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "People poolside will watch me arrive\nAnd they'll groan\u2014I weigh 385.\nMy goal is to get\nEvery one of 'em wet.\nYeah, the cannonball's my kinda dive!", "id": 24699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Too obese, with digestive distress,\nI obsessively eat to excess,\nSo the swelling and size\nOf my belly belies\nMy professions of diet success.", "id": 24700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "For an accurate flick of the wrist,\nAll the bones of my carpus must twist\nWith precision and grace\nAnd at just the right pace\nLest I swing at the ball and it's missed.", "id": 24701, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "\"It's amazing!\" He chewed some linguini,\nAnd slurped on a morning martini.\n\"In the ring around Saturn \u2014\nAn annular pattern.\nA gap! Or my name's not Cassini!\"", "id": 24702, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "We played hide-and-seek in the gloom\nOf a dimly lit, cavernous tomb.\nThe place was so vast\nThat we just couldn't last\u2014\nWe both screamed as we ran from the room.", "id": 24703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Granny sat late one night at her table\nKnitting fast as her fingers were able.\nThe twists in the wool\nMade the sweater so full,\nEmploying the stitch known as cable.", "id": 24705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Turning left 'round the elm by the dike,\nI hit the big spruce with my bike.\nLost both wheels plus one fender\n(Must order from vendor).\nNow I'm riding on Junior's old trike.", "id": 24706, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "The mountains with cake-icing caps;\nThe rivers that flow in their laps:\nLand ebbing and peaking.\nCartographically speaking,\nIt's there to be made into maps.", "id": 24707, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I'm afraid of a cancer's detection;\nAnd seeing a mirror's reflection;\nTo sit on my booty;\nAnd feminine beauty;\nAnd everyone's laughing rejection.", "id": 24708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Give me four baconburgers with cheese\nAnd a large side of fries, if you please.\"\nLots of salt, lots of fat,\nLots of sweets and all that\u2014\nWhat's the final result?  Heart disease.", "id": 24709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The carnival: Oh, what a place!\nThe exciting rides hurl you through space!\nThere are fun games to play\nAnd a fireworks display,\nBut the best part is feeding your face!", "id": 24710, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "\"That Holstein is calving!\" he yelled.\nHer new heifer, the mother expelled.\nShe didn't seem rattled,\nHer nerves were not addled.\nAt calving, that cow had excelled.", "id": 24711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "In the Bible's a little known nook:\nThe Canticle of Canticles book,\nWhich, with passion aflame,\nAlso goes by the name\nSong of Solomon. (Go take a look!)", "id": 24712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "C sharp's the note just above C.\nIn the scale of A major, it's mi.\nOn a keyboard, it's black,\nAnd it suffers the lack\nOf distinction from flattening D.", "id": 24713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Duncan Stevens", "limerick": "When you've slowed to a mode catatonic,\nYou react to no comments sardonic.\nA no-response rate\nLike a vegetable state\u2014\nYou're organic, but not hydroponic.", "id": 24714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A prism splits light into hues,\nWhich are spread from the reds to the blues.\nBut that's not problematic,\nFor true achromatic-\nMade prisms refuse to diffuse.", "id": 24715, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The affluent prosper quite well,\nAs their savings continue to swell.\nIt is great to be rich.\nDestitution's a bitch.\nYou might say that it's taxing as hell.", "id": 24716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Oh, these kisses are antidepressants!\nThey are laced with a rich, heady essence.\nIt's that teen-spirit smell\nI remember so well\nAnd I now taste anew: adolescence.", "id": 24717, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The catbrier grows in a thicket,\nWhere nature decided to stick it.\nIf you're trying to pick\nSome to give to your chick,\nWear a glove on your hand, or you'll prick it!", "id": 24718, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You will note, when she glides into view,\nShe has features that few models do.\nShe has freckles galore\nOn her cheeks, and what's more,\nHer hair has a carroty hue.", "id": 24720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Caruncles a turkey bedeck.\nThese are growths on his head and his neck\nThat attract all the hens\nAs he struts through their pens,\nBut I find them as ugly as heck!", "id": 24721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "In Wearmouth and Jarrow, great Bede\nTold the young gens Anglorum their creed\nAnd their past, how Christ's grace\nCame to guide their rough race\nThrough the scriptures, the word and the deed.", "id": 24722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Round the shrine where the ancients were kneeling\nStood stone caryatids revealing\nA draped female grace,\nYet a firm-breasted brace\nFor the lintels that bore up the ceiling.", "id": 24723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The handcuffed young widow of Keith,\nOn his premature grave, laid a wreath.\nShe cried, anguished, wild-eyed,\n\"He would not (sob) have died\nIf he'd been, when I shot, underneath!\"", "id": 24724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Universities here since the Flood\nTend to educate those with blue blood.\nMore prestige (says the rubric)\nResides in the blue brick\nThan red brick (or \"wattle-and-mud\").", "id": 24725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "When I was a young girl of ten,\nI didn't think much about men.\nBut when David sang \"Cherish\"\nI thought I would perish\u2014\nMy heartthrob was Cassidy then.", "id": 24726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Bit", "limerick": "At our candidate Carter's request,\nWe put two kinds of booze to the test,\nPitting grapes against hops.\nAs for which one is tops,\nGeorgia's Jimmy asks, \"Wine not the best?\"", "id": 24727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Luigi, I'm sick of spaghetti!\nMake pasta like hats \u2014 cappelletti \u2014\nFilled with savory mix,\nAn Italian-taste fix.\nFor dolce? It's apple brown betty.", "id": 24728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When fishing for sunnies, she squirms\n'Til her brother and she come to terms.\nIf he handles the bait,\nThen on him, she will wait\u2014\nThus he opens a whole can of worms.", "id": 24729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A woman (one Candace by name)\nBy a peppermint stick came to fame.\nFor on Christmas she took\nA straight stick, made a hook.\nFrom her candy cane came her acclaim.", "id": 24730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "After reading a lim, though it checked,\nAnd the author is one I respect,\nI was feeling the need\nTo compose my own screed,\nThus these limericks are cause and effect.", "id": 24731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "An acquired advantage is found\nWhen your products' improvements abound.\nWhen your stuff's superior\nAnd theirs is inferior,\nYou'll sell them all into the ground.", "id": 24732, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Real ale is a wonderful thing;\nNot lager, for that doesn't bring\nThe depth and the flavour\nThat beer drinkers savour:\nChoose cask, pull a pump, not a ring!", "id": 24733, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "The abortion rate climbs if, or when,\nContraception's illegal again.\nIt drops with sex ed,\nAnd with condoms in bed.\nIt still remains zero for men.", "id": 24734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A catnapper, stealing your kitty,\nMight sell her for research.  A pity!\nThey'll chop off her ear\n(Which they'll graft to her rear)\nAnd by then she won't look very pretty.", "id": 24735, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I left school and the coach wrote a letter,\nAcknowledging I had played better,\nFor my age, than the rest,\nWishing all of the best,\nWith an emblem to sew on my sweater.", "id": 24736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Read your Gide and think deeply on life,\nSeek the meanings of peace and of strife;\nYou'll Discophora way\nTo make acalephs pay,\nAnd Ms. Frieda will soon be your wife.", "id": 24737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's an actor called Cage (first name: Nicolas)\nWho can move us to tears and can tickle us.\nMom says, \"Cage is the rage\nAmong women of age.\nHe's a sex symbol.\"  Dad says, \"Ridicolas!\"", "id": 24738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The maiden whose suitor was neuter\nReplied that he simply won't suit her,\nAnd refused to engage.\nSo, abused, in a rage,\nHe shot back that his aim's now to shoot her.", "id": 24739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This tragedy's plotline won't work\nSince the hero's a two-timing jerk:\nHamlet acts quite the heel,\nBriefly copping a feel\nBefore dropping Ophelia\u2014for Dirk!", "id": 24740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The King of the Merpeople's daughter\nFinds concealment near bodies of water.\nShe can mystically hide\n'Midst the mist and the tide,\nSo we've missed her whenever we've sought her.", "id": 24741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you follow an elephant's butt\nThrough the jungle, this rumble is what\nYou would hear from the herd\u2014\nBorborygmic's the word\nFor the sounds from an elephant's gut.", "id": 24742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "An airborne disease is one which\nIs passed on like a ball at the pitch,\nWhen propelled by a sneeze.\n(You might fall to your knees\nAs you're losing your lunch in a ditch.)", "id": 24743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The male grosbeak that preens on our fence\nTakes his name from a color, intense.\nFrom his tail to his head,\nHe wears cardinal red\u2014\nHear him cry, \"Let the mating commence!\"", "id": 24744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "My camel's a grouse and a grump\nWho won't gambol or gallop or jump\nWhen he's horribly hobbled\nBy wetly bewobbled\nWarm water awash in his sump.", "id": 24745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Cassini division's a space\nBetween rings around Saturn\u2014a place\nThat appears from the Earth\nTo be dark and not worth\nSending probes or constructing a base.", "id": 24746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Try the fluffy soft plumes of a teal\nFor relieving the pain that you feel.\nYour calcaneal bone\nHas been bruised, so you're prone,\nWithout down, to be down at the heel.", "id": 24747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "A camorra's a secret society\nWhich is known for its evil, not piety.\nBut write it Camorra\n(And don your fedora)\nAnd you mean the Italian variety.", "id": 24748, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "What Cato the Elder enjoyed\nWas to say, \"Carthage must be destroyed.\"\nWhere this city was strewn is\nIn modern-day Tunis \u2014\nYes, Cato's advice was deployed.", "id": 24749, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "When symphony instruments tune,\nThey're not matching the flute or bassoon;\nIt's the first oboe's \"A\"\nThat the strings must obey.\nIf they don't, be prepared for High Noon.", "id": 24750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Feel it's adequate, knowing when 'nough\nIs enough is so difficult; tough\nTo decide when to stop.\nI've gone over the top.\nNow I'm ruing that cream (burp, burp) puff!", "id": 24751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Can altruism actually be fact,\nAs when it is claimed and then backed\nWith the acts of a saint?\nI'd say most of us ain't\nThus behaved 'cause our angel-gene's whacked.", "id": 24752, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "With a tabula rasa I start\nOut again, with a light, happy heart.\nI was sent to the clinker,\nMy term was a stinker\u2014\nTen years! Just for forging some art!", "id": 24754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "He's wont to bisexual licks;\nRenowned for high sexual kicks.\nHis sex antics are rife,\nAdding spice to his life\u2014\nSo he roams a wide range with his tricks.", "id": 24755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "My jig's up, golly gee! My arrest\nMeans I'm busted and jailed as a guest.\nWhat a drag, what a bummer,\nI just \"borrowed\" that Hummer.\nBut they made me come clean; I confessed.", "id": 24756, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "A besotted me, heels over head,\nAdoration gone cuckoo. Instead\nOf a measured and sane\nKind of passion, a bane.\nI'm in agony now that I'm wed.", "id": 24757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "It's so awesome, I'm totally impressed,\nBlown away by the best in the west.\nLast month's brand was so wow;\nThat was then\u2014this is now!\nThis new toothpaste is it\u2014the wave's crest!", "id": 24758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To check if it's real and not fake,\nWe need to authenticate\u2014make\nReally sure of its worth,\nIts origin, birth,\nDo a DNA check... lots at stake.", "id": 24759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "My occult divinations ain't fancy \u2014\nI read flour; that's aleuromancy.\nYou toss knuckles and bones,\nI'll just stick with my scones;\nStealing dead people's fingers is chancy.", "id": 24760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Great Babylon's king loosed the truss\nOn Jehoiachin; made quite a fuss.\nBut Evil-Merodach,\nNamed so like a toad\u2014ack!\u2014\nCan't quite be seen kindly by us.", "id": 24761, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The baroxyton's not fixed in form\nThough the best have four valves as the norm.\nTry the tuba's deep tenor\nOn kin now and then or\nTo keep kids awake in the dorm.", "id": 24762, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "To learn Israel's history tribal,\nThere is no better book than the Bible.\n It has tales so extreme,\n Egypt's top legal team\nMay be suing the authors for libel.", "id": 24763, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I lust like a crazed adolescent.\nMy passion for you is candescent,\nWhite-hot; as it grows,\nIt is candent\u2014it glows\u2014\nSo I'm hoping you'll be acquiescent.", "id": 24764, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "\"I know all the state capitals,\" she,\nMy blonde girlfriend, once boasted to me.\nSo I asked, \"What's Vermont's?\"\nAnd she gave this response:\n\"That's too easy; its capital's V.\"", "id": 24765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "My best dish in the factory canteen\nIs porridge.  Sez Dad, \"Do you mean\nThat your favourite course is\nA grain grown for horses?\"\n\"No fodder,\" I say. \"Oat cuisine!\"", "id": 24766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "You discover a backbiting buster\nHas slandered you. What to do? Muster\nYour angriest face,\nLike the north wind, and chase\nThat bad backbiter off with your bluster.", "id": 24767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "\"I smell, Mr Speaker, a rat!\nSee him form in the air\"\u2014like a bat?\n\"See him darken the skies,\nBut\"\u2014before he can rise\u2014\n\"He'll be nipped in the bud!\"\u2014and that's flat.", "id": 24768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "What is art glass? Perhaps a nice vase,\nLike a piece from the Tiffany phase,\nWhen things iridescent\nAnd those opalescent\nWere part of the Art Nouveau craze.", "id": 24769, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie and Chris Young", "limerick": "The flat butter bean often is seen\nIn Hispanic and Southern cuisine:\nIn your tapas; in stew;\nIn your succotash, too.\nSome are whitish, while some are picked green.", "id": 24771, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The most colorful season of all\nIs autumn, which many call fall.\nIt's the time when leaves die\nIn a feast for the eye,\nAnd fat turkeys await their last call.", "id": 24772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "A poor biomathematician\nWas regretting his market position.\nThrough a rosier lens\nHe'd pre-counted his hens,\nBut his eggs hadn't come to fruition.", "id": 24773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Supermodels are taught to act haughtily,\nTo show off their assets quite bawdily;\nAnd to turn and look back\nAt the lens-toting pack\nTo ensure that the camera's aimed caudally.", "id": 24774, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The bird louse won't hop on a frog,\nNor come round just to hound your dear dog;\nWon't get your kid's goat,\nNor startle a stoat,\nBut bites birdies from Prague to Den Haag.", "id": 24775, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A regrettable part of reality:\nMeeting those with a twisted mentality\nWho choose to use force\nAs a matter of course\nAnd ignore the resulting brutality.", "id": 24776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Carboxy- [a radical, free]\nmethylcellulose, wort of the flea,\nAnd cascara sagrada\nAre helpful to prod a\nSlow bowel to move its debris.", "id": 24777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "There's a Bristol in East Tennessee,\nWhere June's 'Mother', Maybelle (and A.P.),\nMade the Carters the choice.\nThanks to Sara's sweet voice,\nThey would plant country's 'First Family' tree.", "id": 24778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That lesion you have on your shin\nNow has blood pooling under the skin,\nSo pull up your breeches,\nAnd I'll bring the leeches.\nBdellatomy: let us begin!", "id": 24779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A butcher once had quite a beef.\nHis grievance? A meat-stealing thief,\nA man who, when caught,\nClaimed the beef had been bought.\n'Twas a story that beggared belief.", "id": 24780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's some money I'd like to acquire\nThat's made by Canadian Tire.\nIt's not counterfeit, eh?\nYou can use it to pay\nFor whatever you find in their flyer.", "id": 24781, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "Great whisky begins with a brew\nOf barley and water, yeast too.\nNext it's off to the still\u2014\nTake a barrel and fill\u2014\nWhile the flavours imbue, brew anew.", "id": 24782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "AegNuddel", "limerick": "A beer garden snack sure to please,\nOften partnered with pretzels, one sees.\nIt's made in that area\nKnown as Bavaria\u2014\nAllgauer Emmentaler cheese!", "id": 24784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Two anadromous candlefish came\nFrom the sea in an amorous game,\nAnd upriver they swam,\nClimbing over a dam,\nFound a spot, and then kindled the flame.", "id": 24785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "In a quest to become photogenic,\nShe's practicing moves calisthenic.\nBut jumping like Jack\nShe's twisted her back,\nAnd suffered a rupture that's splenic.", "id": 24786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Solomon, alias Agur,\nWho thought everything God says is pure:\n\"I am no fount of wis-\ndom, but tell me, who is?\nSay much more, you're a liar for sure.\"", "id": 24787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Tell me, Reverend, for you know the Bible:\nMust a righteous man tolerate libel?\nMay I not, please, abhor\nMy calumniator\u2014or\nBetter yet, pay him eyeball for eyeball?", "id": 24788, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "There are feathers which serve to protect\nEars of birds (which, as holes, don't project).\nAn irritant-bar\nThese auriculars are,\nSo that sounds, not debris, can collect.", "id": 24789, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Cernansky", "limerick": "Old Rufus the horse was the one\nWho could program computers for fun.\nWhen he wanted his bite\nJust a bit left or right,\nHe would use bitwise shift. That's a pun!", "id": 24790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The student they loved to harass\nHad the boniest assets, alas.\nBut with surgery (plastic),\nShe turned out fantastic:\nThe bonniest lass in the class.", "id": 24793, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Inscribing a circle, you'll heed\nThese instructions on how to proceed:\nOnce each angle's bisected,\nThose lines are connected,\nConstructing the center you'll need.", "id": 24794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Bughouse chess is a game that confuses,\nSince each piece that your chess-partner loses\nCan appear on your board\nIn your enemy's horde,\nNearly anywhere legal he chooses.", "id": 24796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Say a prayer for that poor bird of prey,\nWho must snatch a fresh mouse every day;\nShed a tear for the vole,\nWho stepped out of his hole,\nAnd then found himself flying away.", "id": 24797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What an alcaptonuric's endurin'\nIs homogentisate in urine.\nHis enzyme for aidin'\nPhenylalanine's degradin'\nIs lackin'\u2014a fact we ain't curin'.", "id": 24798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A committee of camels opined\nThat the Watchmaker should have designed\nA more well-behaved Human,\nAnd went away fumin',\n\"He musta been outta His mind!\"", "id": 24799, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When they claimed that a camel ain't pretty,\nThey were tryin' too hard to sound witty.\nSo the beast got maligned\nWhen they cruelly opined\nIt's a horse that's designed by committee.", "id": 24800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Beware! Cayenne peppers are hot,\nAnd I really don't like them a lot!\nIt just wasn't nice\nPutting them in my rice\u2014\nNow my nose wants to sniffle and snot!", "id": 24802, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A calligrapher: that is my station.\nI've hand-lettered each invitation.\nI carefully wrote\nFancy script on each note\nTo invite folks to this convocation.", "id": 24803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Campanulas: beautiful flowers\nAdorning some gardens and bowers.\nBell-shaped blossoms of blue,\nWhite, or pink beckon you\nTo come closer in spite of rain showers.", "id": 24804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Calculation, son: work it all out;\nGet your sums right; eliminate doubt.\nLesson two: learn to figure\nWhich sucker pays bigger.\nYou'll know then what life's all about.", "id": 24805, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "There it was on my spanking new mat:\nA fresh calling card left by the cat.\nI had seen him before,\nLurking outside the door,\nBut I failed to anticipate that!", "id": 24806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "When he fell on his sword, id est died,\nCleopatra, his lover, then cried,\n\"Hic jacet a Marcus\nAntonius carcase,\"\nSoon prostrate, per asp, at his side.", "id": 24807, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A chameleon whose skin was inert\nTried to blend with a branch till it hurt.\nAs his brow sweated beads,\nHe announced, \"What I need's\nCamouflageable hide\u2014or a shirt.\"", "id": 24808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "This chile is fiendishly hot\u2014\nAround six-figure Scovilles, it's got.\nIt's named for the eye\nOf a bird. You know why?\nRub your eyes, you'll fly off like a shot.", "id": 24809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "This natal chart's such a disaster;\nWe're on to you, fraudulent master.\nYour claims we won't follow;\nYou're just an astrolo-\n(Gasp!) gaster\u2014a feigning forecaster!", "id": 24810, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Shearers long to cry out, \"Go to hell, sheep!\nI've had it now, mate! Darn, they smell, sheep!\"\nThey await, though, the peal\nOf the bell to reveal\nThat their shift ends with this sheep \u2014 the bell sheep.", "id": 24812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Aldo Carpi, to some, is well known\nFor his landscapes (they're not overblown).\nBut more people commend\nHim for memoirs he penned,\nSketching life in a Nazi war zone.", "id": 24814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Knicks had us tied up in knots,\nAnd our guards couldn't find the right spots.\nSince our field goals weren't falling,\nThe offense was stalling.\nThen coach began calling the shots.", "id": 24815, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Before me I see what I've heard\nIs an adjective some think absurd:\nCataphoric refers\nTo a term that occurs\nIn advance of its referent word.", "id": 24816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Giant Idris's lofty Welsh cadair:\nMisty mount, kept by osprey and adder.\nSit the night out with Idris?\nBeware! If you did this,\nYou'd end up a poet, or madder.", "id": 24817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The legion pitched camp on a plain \u2014\nRare boon on this northern campaign;\nIn the tree-bound campania\nOf darkest Germania,\nCampaigning and camping's a pain.", "id": 24818, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "After years of toil, aches and travail \u2014\nWorking long, spending short, growing frail \u2014\nThis great lottery win\nMeans the fun can begin,\nNow the good life is mine: cakes and ale!", "id": 24819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Noble Biscop, a scholar and priest,\nGathered books such that learning increased.\nIn the mist, 'mid the dark,\nHe brought fuel, fed the spark:\nThe bright Bede that would light the northeast.", "id": 24820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "As he walked the night fen in the rain,\nA great shape shifted dark 'cross the lane.\nThere he saw his ill luck\nIn the eyes of Black Shuck.\nWhen they found him next day, he was slain.", "id": 24821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Doctor Dee's dark Angelical Stone,\nWhere he scried to divine for the throne,\nWas a speculum bright,\nThrough which angelkind might\nHave been glimpsed, as he sought the unknown.", "id": 24822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Little letter, you mAy be the best,\nFor it's true thAt you Are 'fore the rest.\nThough in AbrAcAdAbrA\nYou're lAuded, cruel zebrA\n'EntAils' you \u2014 you form its Arse-crest!", "id": 24823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "As Lord Byron versed Canto the First,\nHe drank wine to immerse his great thirst.\nThus, before he had mastered\nThe Third, he was plastered,\nThough Canto the Fourth was the worst.", "id": 24824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "We cacographers don't write in poo!\nWe're cack-handed though, that much is true.\nFor our handwriting's awful \u2014\nA clumsy great pawful\nOf scribble. Our spelling's carp too.", "id": 24825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris Young", "limerick": "Just a hammock, a basket, and bark\nBy a tree-stump in Jellystone Park\nAre the residue left,\nAnd poor Boo Boo's bereft.\n(Yogi Bear fell asleep in the dark.)", "id": 24826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Silly Seuss, so it seems, set the stage;\nNow I love to read books, every page.\nCharles Dickens, Mark Twain,\nSteinbeck, Austen (that's Jane),\nHelped to make me a bibliophage.", "id": 24827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "In his fox-scented coat, nature's plush,\nHe pauses, one paw raised, then \u2014 hush! \u2014\nAs his nose gently pushes\nThrough midnight-lit bushes,\nHe holds high his tail, or his brush.", "id": 24828, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "In those time-honoured tales that they've told us,\nIntending to scold us and mould us,\nRed Riding Hood goes\nFor a traipse in the snows\nWith her cardinal draped round her shoulders.", "id": 24829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If an animal grows a long byssus,\nIt will seldom receive many kisses.\nI refer to the mussel,\nA beast with no hustle;\nI doubt that he knows what he misses.", "id": 24830, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My beliefs may be called antiquarian,\nChurch of England derived and sectarian,\nBut to split Church and State\nWould be something I'd hate:\nI am antidisestablishmentarian.", "id": 24831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He stood tall with his girl by his side,\nCarved their names in the tree with such pride.\nBut she married his brother,\nAnd now she's a mother.\nHe's carved up by his lady who lied.", "id": 24832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "David Bailey has made his great name\nTaking photos. A beautiful dame\nIn a Vogue fashion shot,\nLooking sexy and hot \u2014\nThus this Cockney achieved wide acclaim.", "id": 24833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "She leapt from the shower with a yell:\n\"This soap's got a horrible smell!\nWhat is it, carbolic?\nIt sure smells phenolic!\nNow where is my rose-scented gel?\"", "id": 24834, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"I'm a woman,\" she growled, \"not a guy,\"\nAs I perched on her large hairy thigh.\n\"It's not a mutation,\nBut virilization:\nMy adrenals are pumping sky-high.\"", "id": 24835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "The cardia isn't the heart:\nIt's the stomach \u2014 the uppermost part;\nEpithelium lined,\n(As columnar defined),\nThe oesophagus ends: there's its start.", "id": 24836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Brachytherapy works from within,\nUsing caesium: something akin\nTo a bullet that's magic\nPrevents cancer's tragic\nTerminality: patients can win.", "id": 24837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Ballyshannon, in old Donegal,\nHad a river with many a fall.\nBut a dam was constructed,\nAnd the flow was obstructed:\nWhat was wild, now is shrunken and small.", "id": 24838, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Is that me I can see way down there?\nWhat a sight! I'm asleep in my chair.\nFar below me, I smiled \u2014\nThis autoscopy's wild!\nAs I float up on high in the air.", "id": 24839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "You know Botox? It smoothes every line,\nWhich for ladies who lunch is just fine.\nDo you know how it functions\nAt neuromuscular junctions?\nIt stops pain, and in double quick time.", "id": 24840, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "They took alcohol, morphine, cocaine;\nMade a cocktail, \"The Brompton\", by name.\nSweet elixir of peace,\nIt brought rest and release,\nAnd an end to the cancer's cruel pain.", "id": 24841, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "She was bullied, and battered, and bruised;\nAs a wife, she was sorely abused.\nSo she wired up his shoes,\nFlipped the switch, blew his fuse:\nThough accused, she was quickly excused.", "id": 24842, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Ashy pet is an old Irish phrase\nThat is used when a dog spends its days\nSafe from cold, wet and mire,\nSnuggled up by the fire,\nKeeping warm by the bright, warming blaze.", "id": 24843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Our tree-swinging cousin's a fellow\nWho's mostly mild-mannered and mellow.\nShould you grab, though, a grape\nFrom a mild, mellow ape,\nHe will slash you with fangs long and yellow.", "id": 24845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a young lady named Sturkey\nWho swam like an overweight turkey,\nWhich was not well advised\u2014\nFor her sailboat capsized,\nAnd at this point her story gets murky.", "id": 24846, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Alone: beneath urban skies, lowering;\nGrey faces of passersby, glowering;\nFaint footfalls on pavement;\nThe fearsome enslavement\nOf walls closing in, overpowering.", "id": 24847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Folk remedies aren't an illusion.\nTo relieve a bad burn or contusion,\nThe healers of old\nUsed the pot marigold,\nThe calendula, in an infusion.", "id": 24848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A friend calls me up to disclose\nThat his canine (his dog) has no nose.\nI ask, \"How does it smell?\"\nWhich invites him to tell\nMe, \"Just terrible, mate, as it goes.\"", "id": 24850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Said the teachers, \"He's acting unruly in\nHis classes\" (my younger son Julian).\nTyping \"hyperactivity\nAND bored NOT passivity,\"\nI started a Google search (Boolean).", "id": 24851, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Congrats to our own waterrocks! She\nHas earned our acclaim through her moxie,\nWhich took her with ease\nThrough the GCSEs.\nHang that medal up high with epoxy!", "id": 24852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "I'm a pig, says my mom, since I bibble.\nShould I dine like a mouse and just nibble?\nIf my manners improve,\nThen she won't make me move,\nAnd she'll serve me some real food, not kibble.", "id": 24853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Hey, it's Big Bird! Let's give him a cheer!\nBut his feathers are molting, I fear.\nThough it sounds a bit quirky,\nThey come from a turkey.\nSo for him, it's Thanksgiving all year!", "id": 24854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Those nonagenarians aren't doddery!\nWhy, they still love to sing and make pottery!\nSo they gather each day\nJust to croon and throw clay\nAnd take pleasure in close camaraderie.", "id": 24855, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A risqu\u00e9 homosexual, Darryl,\nAt Christmas decided to carol.\n\"Were it not seen as rude\nI'd 'fa la' in the nude;\nI'll instead don my gayest apparel.\"", "id": 24856, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'm a caregiving grandpa\u2014a guy\nChanging diapers and clothes, on the fly,\nOf Alenka, who's two\n(Peek-a-booing on cue)\nAnd the apple-of-you-know-who's eye.", "id": 24857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One former commander-in-chief's\nClaim to fame involved sex, not beliefs.\nEven now, people care\nWhat he's wearing down there.\n(It's commando, not boxers or briefs.)", "id": 24858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "The carpel has stigma and style;\nLike all females, it seeks to beguile.\nIt's the feminine part\nFlowers hide in their heart,\nTill a bee takes the bride up the aisle.", "id": 24859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "We partake of an oxygen feast,\nAnd then carbon dioxide's released.\nIt's what animals do,\nSo I'm starting to view\nCO2 as a mark of the beast.", "id": 24860, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Oklahoma!'s new cast, it appears,\nIs a herd of inept volunteers.\nThe director gets grief\nFrom the actors, who beef.\n(Seems the cattle call brought only steers.)", "id": 24861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "He captiously noted my flaws,\nFinding fault with the hair on my paws.\nWhen he called me a wussy,\nI fought like a pussy\u2014\nAnd ripped him to shreds with my claws.", "id": 24862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Inspiration's a thing that evokes\nAnd can catalyze changes in folks.\nI've had eggs when I sup\nAlways sunny-side up,\nBut today I'll try breaking the yolks!", "id": 24863, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The captains of industry stand\nAs the beacons of strength in this land,\nIn which business success\nIs a form of noblesse\nThat is born of supply and demand.", "id": 24864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A calque's a derivative phrase\nThat comes into a language, but stays\nThrough translation\u2014unlike\nMany loanwords that strike\nLes Fran\u00e7ais as a sign of malaise.", "id": 24865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At our picnic, a Brie fly impressed\nAs a devilish cheese-eating pest.\nBut his presence was chiefly\nAd interim, briefly\nAlighting, then squashed on request.", "id": 24866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "As all five of my carpoolers know,\nWhen I drive through a tunnel, I slow.\nNow the symptoms are worse,\nAnd I'm using reverse!\nCarpool tunnel's a syndrome of woe.", "id": 24867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To win captainship's every girl's dream.\nHere's the head of the cheerleading team,\nWho holds pom-poms up high\nWhile she calculates pi.\nShe's a mathlete\u2014a bright academe.", "id": 24868, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "She's a terrier, wiry and tough;\nShe's no smoothie, but nor is she rough:\nTo my dog I'm devoted,\nBut her hair's broken coated,\nSo she sheds, from her tail to her ruff.", "id": 24869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "All the fireplace logs were ablaze\nAs poor Santa emerged from the haze.\nWith his whiskers aflame,\nHe was sorry he came,\nAnd he sighed, \"It's been one of those days!\"", "id": 24870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and Chris Young", "limerick": "Erwin Schr\u00f6dinger places a cat\nIn a box just to settle a spat\nAbout quantum mechanics:\nDo feline organics\nLose 4.5 lives? Figure that!", "id": 24871, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "When Nelson died, nothing was handy\nFor embalming until reaching land. He\nWas starting to smell\nSo they pickled him well\nIn a cask of Napoleon brandy.", "id": 24872, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "All bedecked with fresh evergreen swags,\nOur abode looks like those in the mags;\nBut you know what we'll do\nWhen the holiday's through\u2014\nShove the ugly, dry, dead stuff in bags.", "id": 24873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I goyng tly foh assimirirate,\nTly yoh food, learn spik Engwish, wait\u2014\nYou wiw see, I do good\u2014\nWohk reew hahd rike folks should,\nCome Amelican fast, not too late.", "id": 24874, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the square in the center of town\nStood the tree in her snow-spangled gown.\nHigh atop perched a star\nTo be seen from afar,\nAs a radiant beacon and crown.", "id": 24875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In the stillness, our small congregation\nSat breathless in rapt expectation,\nTill the choirboys before us\nBurst forth in full chorus:\n\"Alleluiah!\" in glad jubilation.", "id": 24876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "High atop a magnificent pine,\nMother's angel sat, looking divine.\nEach porcelain wing\nWas a delicate thing,\nHer face sculpted fragile and fine.", "id": 24877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The cascabel pepper does well\nIn spicing up foods hot as hell.\nWhen the outside is dried,\nThe seeds rattle inside\nLike the pea in a bright, jingling bell.", "id": 24878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "All his life Sydney Carton was cursed.\nOf unfortunates, I rank him first.\nFor a girl his heart bled,\nThen the man lost his head.\nThe best of times? More like the worst!", "id": 24879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester and Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A cadaver once said with a squirm,\n\"So, I've come to the end of my term?\nAt this place where I said\nI would not be caught dead,\nI've become a boxed lunch for a worm.\"", "id": 24880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He lives in a house with his aunty\n(It's a moth-eaten broken-down shanty)\nAnd won't date (I suppose\nIt's his Cyrano nose);\nHe's a ringer for Jimmy Durante.", "id": 24881, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "We all cheered when we reached an accord\nWith the Chief of the Navy\u2014we scored!\nAn inquiry en banc\nWill learn why our ship sank,\nSo we told him we'd welcome a board.", "id": 24882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I seldom receive any mail\nFrom regions we call arctogaeal.\nCould take months\u2014four or five\u2014\nFor the mail to arrive,\nOr delivery might simply fail.", "id": 24883, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I would love to collect blanc de Chine.\nI would treasure each white figurine\nMade in China, they say,\nLong ago, far away.\nIt is porcelain fit for a queen.", "id": 24884, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "After breaking my arm, I'd a stint\nIn a dressing they call active splint.\nWith its modern dynamics\nI sculpted ceramics\nIn comfort\u2014of pain, not a hint!", "id": 24885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Propranolol has the proclivity\nTo squelch autonomic activity,\nSo keep beta blockers\nIn handbags and lockers\nIf your heartbeat displays aggressivity.", "id": 24886, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Just over that hill, in a wood,\nA one-room log cabin once stood.\nIt held laughter and tears\nFor many long years.\nIn those pioneer days, life was good.", "id": 24887, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "CJ Jackson's been cursing his luck\nSince the nickname was coined (some say struck).\n'Cause he knew what she meant\nWhen she said, \"50 Cent?\nHe's not half of that rapper Young Buck!\"", "id": 24888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "\"C'mon, Gecko,\" I gently cajole,\n\"Though it's snug in your under-dish hole,\nYour sunlamp is shining\nAnd crickets are whining.\nWake up! Play your predator role.\"", "id": 24890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "A brandy's a drink made from wine\nThat's consumed shortly after you dine.\nBut Brandy's benighted,\nWith love unrequited:\nHer suitor's more suited to brine.", "id": 24891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Take care: it means caution, affection,\nProvision of heedful protection,\nPhysicians' attention,\nAnd grave apprehension.\nThat's all (to my best recollection).", "id": 24892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The lovely bouquet of this wine'll\nSpawn dreams that I'm now amphirhinal.\nHow much sweeter are roses\nInhaled by two noses?\nBut my surgeon said no! and that's final.", "id": 24893, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Their website is hounded by trolls,\nAnd their office is swarming with moles.\nBut there's time to revamp\nThis young candidate's camp.\nWith some work, they can plug up the holes.", "id": 24894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Unaware of his imminent fate,\nThe fish saw the worm, took the bait.\nHe found he was hooked \u2014\nAnd later was cooked \u2014\nAnd served up, with chips, on a plate.", "id": 24895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bob vowed when he saw her he'd try\nTo catch the fair maiden's bright eye.\nHe'd a couple of bob \u2014\nThat would just do the job \u2014\nTo buy flowers from the florist, nearby.", "id": 24896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bob had hoped that his chatting up powers\nWould be helped by a posy of flowers,\nBut she said he should bring\nHer a necklace or ring\nOf bright silver, well bobbed for some hours.", "id": 24897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "By rejection severely dismayed,\nPoor young Bob (who's a builder by trade)\nFrom his line took his bob,\nBashed it down on her nob,\nAnd killed her stone dead, I'm afraid.", "id": 24899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "She had spurned him and made him see red,\nAnd Bob knew that he ought to have said,\n\"Though you scorn me, my sweet,\nI'll be calm in defeat.\"\nInstead he had bobbed in her head.", "id": 24902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "In his prison cell Bob had no hope.\nSaid he, \"I'll just sit here and mope,\nFor I'm sentenced to die;\nThey will hang me up high,\nAnd I'll bob on the end of a rope.\"", "id": 24903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "As they laid young Bob deep in the ground\nFrom the church came a deep solemn sound.\nAs the bells rang a bob,\nThere was no one to sob\nFor the murderer, surely hell-bound.", "id": 24904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "The carotid, at each bifurcation,\nHas a sinus (a small dilatation);\nIf your heart beats too quickly,\nAnd makes you feel sickly,\nThen the doc gives the spot stimulation.", "id": 24905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Calcitonin keeps calcium in\nAll your bones, so they don't get too thin.\nIt's a skeletal boost\nBy this hormone; produced\nIn the thyroid (the C cells within).", "id": 24906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Hypertension, though silent, can kill,\nSo the docs use an excellent pill.\nIf you take it for life,\nYou'll outlive your dear wife:\nStick to captopril \u2014 that fits the bill!", "id": 24907, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "The calico bass is a game fish.\nSac-a-lait, to a Cajun: the same fish.\nThis Pomoxis (black crappie)\nIs tasty and scrappy\nAnd, mounted, a fine Wall-of-Fame fish.", "id": 24908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "At a recent audition in Stowe,\nA castable starlet said, \"No!\"\nThen she fell off the couch\nAnd arose and said, \"Ouch!\"\nDoctors found her leg castable though.", "id": 24909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "See Asgard, the multiringed basin,\nWith walls never touched by a mason.\nWe're out of brochures,\nBut our Jovian tours\nOf Callisto fill quickly, so hasten!", "id": 24910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Hans Keller once mentioned to me,\n\"In K\u00f6chel Fife Hundert und Sree,\nThere's a heautiful tune\nIn the hass, for hassoon.\"\n(For Germans use H to mean B.)", "id": 24911, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sigg and mrsrev", "limerick": "No strakes overlap on my boat,\nBut between them there's pitch, so she'll float.\nMy life won't be dull\nIn my carvel-built hull\nWhen I sail off to islands remote.", "id": 24912, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "The ocean's ethereal calm\nSings a song to my soul like a psalm\nAs I walk the warm sand,\nPinkish shell in my hand\u2014\nPearly miracle poised on my palm.", "id": 24913, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Young Boudreaux, he works as a waiter\nIn N'awlins, and what could be greater?\nFree food that's just ragin'\nWith spices.  He's Cajun\u2014\nPart Anglo, part French, and part gator.", "id": 24914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Do you live in a desert of dread? Do\nYou long for oases instead? Do\nYou pray for a harem\nTo play harum scarum\nAnd do in your bed as the Bedu?", "id": 24915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Very tactful was no pterodactyl.\nIt would seize alarmed prey and would hack till\nIts brood were all fed,\nAfter which nothing fled\nTill the time that it wouldn't be back till.", "id": 24916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Please give me no lentils to eat.\nNut cutlets? They're also no treat.\nKeep your tofu and Quorn.\nGive the chickens the corn.\nI'm a carnivore \u2014 give me some meat!", "id": 24917, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Whales have fat to keep warm\u2014it's called blubber,\nAnd it insulates better than rubber\u2014\nWhile their blowholes up there\nLet them breathe in some air,\nWhich you'd know if you weren't a landlubber.", "id": 24918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "That my girlfriend's a doll's undebatable.\nShe's a ten (if you think that she's rate-able).\nShe's a babe and a beaut\nWho's bodaciously cute;\nIt's just sad that my love is inflatable.", "id": 24919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "When the mother's a working strip-teaser,\nA bikini cut's certain to please her.\nSoon she'll dance down the bar\nShowing nary a scar\u2014\nIn places the clientele caesar.", "id": 24920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "You're a  bore, if you know what I mean;\nWhen you exit, you brighten the scene.\nOh, what yawns you promote.\n(On a positive note,\nYou're a great antidote to caffeine.)", "id": 24921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "On the stove was my frying pan heating,\nWhile a couple of eggs I was beating.\nThen my sleeve garter fell\nIn the pan; I said, \"Hell!\nThat's an armlet I won't enjoy eating.\"", "id": 24922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A litigant's lawyer needs zeal\nWhen he argues a client's appeal.\nCourt reversals are healing\nFor parties appealing,\nBut cause their opponents to reel.", "id": 24923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "An Ardri's an Irish high king,\nAs the bards will continue to sing\nTill the end of all time,\nUsing verses sublime\nAnd romantic in wording and ring.", "id": 24924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "With a weapon he had to conceal,\nGuilty Bob went off fishing for eel.\nFor his bait, he had lob-\nWorms made up in a bob.\nFor a sinker? The weapon. Ideal!", "id": 24925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "His recording career was on track;\nThe charts he was starting to crack.\nWalter Carlos was trendy,\nThen he became Wendy,\nAnd never has she switched on back.", "id": 24926, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "From American tropical trees\nComes a cashew, a nut that one sees\nAs a kidney-shaped treat\nThat needs roasting to eat.\n(When it comes from your nose, it's a sneeze.)", "id": 24927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "England's great university Cambridge\nGives Oxbridge a part of its name (\"-bridge\").\nAncient Oxford does, too,\nBut that's tough, for I'm through \u2014\nThere's no rhyme left for Cambridge (I blame \"-bridge\").", "id": 24928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Capitation is something I dread.\nIt's a tax or a fee by the head.\nI've one body, like you,\nBut my heads number two,\nSo by taxes I'm doubly bled!", "id": 24929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Caudate nuclei, deep in your head,\nAre important for motion, it's said,\nAnd for muscle tone too\u2014\nI'm not sure if that's true\u2014\nI just know that without them, you're dead.", "id": 24930, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I contemplate them I'm ecstatic\u2014\nThese diversiform cells (blastematic).\nParts of embryos, they,\nIn a natural way,\nForm an arm or the fin of a haddock.", "id": 24931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ever think of the dressing you toss\n(On a salad), or ice cream, or sauce?\nThey all use carrageenan\nTo thicken. It's keen, 'n'\nIt comes from a plant, Irish moss.", "id": 24932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The word buttonball turns out to be\nA name for the sycamore tree.\nLike the Christmas balls hung\nOn your tree when you're young,\nIts fruit-clumps are wondrous to see.", "id": 24933, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he spoke at the local herbarium\nThey refused him the small honorarium.\nHis talk? \"Marijuana\u2014\nThe path to Nirvana.\"\nHas he brains lodged inside his calvarium?", "id": 24934, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Reading newspapers daily, I've found\nThat carcinogens seem to abound\nIn our food, in the air\u2014\nThey cause cancer, beware!\u2014\nHere and there, everywhere, all around!", "id": 24935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In most of the trees that we know,\nThe cells in the cambium grow.\nDividing, they pile 'em\n'Twixt phloem and xylem.\nEach spring they are ready to go.", "id": 24936, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In a capitated system, your docs\nMake less profit when you're on the rocks.\nWhile you're healthy and strong\nThey get fees, right along,\nBut no more when you're down with the pox.", "id": 24937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he wrote about odes that were Sapphic,\nHis paper was quite cacographic.\nHis spelling was bad\nAnd his penmanship had\nEnough dangerous curves to slow traffic.", "id": 24938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A student from Butte, a Montanan,\nSpelled so badly that one day he ran in\nTo ask his friend Hannibal's\nCounsel\u2014\"Are cannibals\nOr cannonballs shot from a cannon?\"", "id": 24939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A carpenter ant on a tree\nOnce encountered a carpenter bee\nAnd said, \"Honey, how's tricks?\nWill you join Local 6\nOf the carpenter's union with me?\"", "id": 24940, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I drove with my wife on a tour\nWe arrived at a strange carrefour.\nNot a signpost in sight\u2014\n\"Do we turn left or right?\"\nShe replied, \"Men are so immature!\"", "id": 24941, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though I took the coat with me, the man\nWho arranged for the time-payment plan\nWrote it clearly and large:\nThere's a carrying charge\nHe will add. Is it true that he can?", "id": 24942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I arrived at the Grand Central Station\nWhen I came to New York on vacation.\nMy hotel reservation\nWas lost\u2014what frustration!\nI'm awaiting the first cancellation.", "id": 24943, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bright young professor named Shana,\nWho's specialized in the arcana\nOf music, has found\nIn old manuscripts, sound\nShe considers God's own cantilena.", "id": 24944, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Canada balsam resides\nIn the Canada balsam's insides.\nIt is fragrant and sticky;\nTo handle it's tricky.\nWe use it for microscope slides.", "id": 24945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"I searched all through the summer and fall\nFor a dress,\" she said. \"Tried every mall.\nI found bupkis to wear\nTo our Thanksgiving fair!\"\n\"Then I guess you'll wear nothing at all.\"", "id": 24946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To pronounce the name rightly is still a\nGreat problem for sea bass (cabrilla),\n'Cause in Europe you see a\nType called the cabrilla.\nHow to say it? The choice is a killa!", "id": 24947, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On his soles and his toes was a sheet\nOf thick calluses, hard as concrete,\nAnd a hardness of heart\nAlso set him apart:\nTotal callousness\u2014not just his feet!", "id": 24948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Oh camphor tree, what can I say?\nYou have come from Taiwan, far away.\nNow Australia misleads,\nSays you're just \"noxious weeds,\"\nAnd insists you're a plant gone astray!", "id": 24949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'll go fishing, but here are my terms:\nI won't touch any creature that squirms,\nYou will furnish the boat\nAnd the lines, but take note\u2014\nI'll contribute a canful of worms.", "id": 24950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Make a beni-e print, if you please,\nUsing paper and wood from the trees,\nIn two tones (green and rose),\nSo my manual shows\u2014\nThat's my guess; I can't read Japanese.", "id": 24951, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A carnifex cuts off your head\nOr hangs you until you are dead.\nDon't expect absolution;\nYou'll find execution\nThe reason to him you are led.", "id": 24953, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Sure, I met some and never forgot 'em.\nIt's not a big hassle to spot 'em\u2014\nReporters who handle\nJust rumor and scandal\u2014\nThe guys who are fishing the bottom.", "id": 24954, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"I am bumfuzzled, mixed up, confused.\"\n\"Tell me, what is that word you just used?\"\n\"An expression, I guess,\nFrom the southern U.S.,\nThat will peeve you yet leave you amused.\"", "id": 24955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Carriwitchet: this word I suppose\nBrings confusion wherever it goes.\nIt means \"puzzle\" or \"pun\"\u2014\nSeems its root should be fun\u2014\nBut its origin nobody knows.", "id": 24956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "As a country, old England's quite grand,\nBut there's something you must understand:\nOur cuisine is quite plain.\nOn the whole, in the main,\nIt's a place where the bland leads the bland.", "id": 24958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandmother knew how to grapple\nWith my conduct on Sunday in chapel.\nIf I sat through the sermon\nQuite still, without squirmin',\nShe'd buy me a huge candy apple.", "id": 24959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He is dressed like a fellow who begs\u2014\nTattered clothes on his torso and legs.\nThis bezonian took\nAll my money. The crook!\nHe's a scoundrel, a rascal, the dregs!", "id": 24960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you tell him John Wayne was a gay,\nAlways wearing a horsehair toupee,\nAnd rode only a mule,\nThis badaud of a fool\nWill believe and repeat what you say.", "id": 24961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When it's cloudy outside and it rains,\nI'm beset by a passel of pains.\nI take aspirin, apply\nDeep massage\u2014by and by\nVery little discomfort remains.", "id": 24963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though you're tough and grew up in a shtetl,\nSeems you fear that a leech might unsettle\nYour psyche. Afraid?\nUse bdellometers made,\nAs a substitute leech, out of metal.", "id": 24964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "That slick vampire had viciously tricked us,\nAnd his nibble will surely afflict us;\nSo please watch us by day\u2014\nAre we hidden away?\nHave our habits become acronyctous?", "id": 24965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "The mid-term elections delighted\nThe Democrats. Gosh, they're excited!\nAs for Bush, I must say\n(The UK view today),\nHe presides over States dis-United.", "id": 24966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"Gang ye no, lassie,\" Rabbie oft yearns\nAs he roams through yon heather and ferns.\nIn the gloaming he looks\nTo cross modest, wee brooks.\n\"Hoots mon!\" Splosh! \"These are third degree burns!\"", "id": 24967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "The King's range of movement's one square,\nBut just once, he's allowed a move where\nHe can gain a safe nook,\nLeaping over a rook,\nAnd thus castled, he's safe in his lair.", "id": 24968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Politicians make promises.  They\nMay inveigh and get carried away,\nBut I call into question\nThe merest suggestion\nThat candor is what they convey.", "id": 24969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "You could call a computer geek nerd-brain,\nOr a comical wit, an absurd-brain;\nBut your raven and crow\nAre so smart, don't you know\u2014\nJust say \"thanks\" when some clown calls you birdbrain.", "id": 24970, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Nought one two, three four five, six sevee,\nEight nine ay, bee see dee, ee eff gee,\nAitch eye jay, kay ell em,\nEn oh pee, queue are sem,\nTee you vee, double you, ex why zee.", "id": 24971, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "At the all-cryptid dinner, young Meti\nTickled Tina, a finely shaped Yeti.\nThe reflexes, abdominal,\nOf the snowgirl (abominable)\nMade Tina cough up her spaghetti.", "id": 24972, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "18. \u00a0  \u00a0  \u00a0 \u00a0  \u00a0  \u00a0  \u00a0 \u00a0  \u00a0 \u00a0  \u00a0QPxP e.p.\n19. KR \u2013 KB1\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 QR \u2013 R8\n20. QxR mate!\nThe conclusion for black was foregone.", "id": 24973, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David and waterrocks", "limerick": "We are atheist authors, and know\nTheists think us irreverent... whoa!\nAll the wonders unfurled\nIn this mind-blowing world\nMake our pantheist awe overflow.", "id": 24974, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "I would advocate taking our class.\nIt's in campcraft; I'm sure you could pass.\nWe can teach you the skill\nTo make camping a thrill,\nAnd in no time you're cooking with gas.", "id": 24975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Actinobacillus can creep\nInto tissues of horses and sheep.\nIt infects your pig's lung,\nGives your cows wooden tongue;\nHave them treated\u2014your livestock's not cheap.", "id": 24976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "She's a diva, the finicky sort,\nNever found on the runway or court.\nShe's named Calico Bush,\nAnd she hasn't a tush\u2014\nShe's uncultured\u2014a heath, not a wort.", "id": 24977, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Keep your freak hair and nose ring at home.\nIf you play where the buffalo roam,\nGrab a Stetson and beer;\nWe drink long-necks 'round here,\nNot that warm crap all covered in foam.", "id": 24978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Calumniation's the name of his crime\nBut it's me who is serving the time.\nHe besmirched my good name\nWith my number-one dame;\nNow she thinks I'm a scum-sucking slime.", "id": 24979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bob gave her a quite small bouquet\nAnd she said, to his utter dismay,\n\"Such a few leaves and flowers\nTo romance have no powers \u2014\nTake your bob back and throw it away.\"", "id": 24980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "oneslowtyper", "limerick": "The blastomycosis disease\nComes from fungus in soil and trees.\nWhen inhaled in the lung,\nThe disease is then sprung\u2014\nWithout treatment you're brought to your knees.", "id": 24981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Bob was out for a stroll one fine day,\nWhen a blond short-haired girl looked his way.\nShe was charming and sweet,\nAnd her bob pretty neat,\nAnd his heart was quite stolen away.", "id": 24982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The weapon that formed a strong link\nTo the murder, Bob threw in the drink,\nBut it bobbed in the water.\nSaid he, \"I'd have thought a\nSmall object that heavy would sink.\"", "id": 24983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Is \"empirical\" antitheoretical?\nThis question I pose is poetical,\nBut there's nothing as good\nAs a theory we could\nPut in practice\u2014not just hypothetical.", "id": 24984, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Once, alcohol drinking was thought\nTo be evil: It had to be fought\nBy a strict prohibition\u2014\nAn impossible mission,\nAs history has bloodily taught.", "id": 24985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's a city we nowadays know,\nBut existed a long time ago,\nRuled by Rome and by Britain\u2014\nNow in French it is written\nOn millions of bottles: Bordeaux.", "id": 24986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Anglicismes in French are taboo!\nThey're the non-words we try to eschew:\nCourriel\u2014not e-mail.\nNotre langue will prevail!\nBon weekend, darling, merci beaucoup!", "id": 24987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Saint Barbara, a virgin, resisted\nAdvances by suitors assisted\nBy Dad.  It is said\nThat he cut off her head\n(Though she probably never existed).", "id": 24988, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So, big deal!  So you caught the bouquet.\nYeah, yer next.  So, whatever, OK.\nAre you comin'?  Enough\nWith this \"wedding bells\" stuff!\nSo c'mon, I ain't got all damn day!", "id": 24989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In catharsis, emotions will pour\nFrom your soul, through each window and door.\nYou may laugh, you may cry,\nAnd not even know why,\nAnd keep on till you can't any more.", "id": 24990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "The attractive incentive I've planned\nIs a bonus scheme worth half a grand.\nThat's the carrot. The stick\nIs my foreman\u2014meet Mick.\nIf he catches you slacking you're canned.", "id": 24991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It has long been a part of my plan\nTo visit the beaches of Cannes:\nGirls, so amorous, show\nLots of glamorous peau\nWhere the rich and the beauteous tan.", "id": 24992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Herpes simplex, a virus, infects\nWhat a lover at first look suspects\nIf in bed (silk and satin?):\nLips, and those named in Latin.\nAntiherpes: the cure he selects.", "id": 24993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a sun-loving tree was a flop\nIn its race for the canopy top,\nIt would die in the shade\nThat a taller one made\u2014\nA Darwinian war without stop.", "id": 24994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A boobook's a brown spotted bird.\nShe's an owl who persists, undeterred:\n\"More pork,\" she'll repeat\n(Like she's howling for meat)\nWhen a bird should just tweet. How absurd!", "id": 24995, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you're raised in the land of The Bard,\nUsing kilogram-meters is hard.\nSuch a measure's unknown\nWhen accustomed to \"stone\",\nOr expecting \"pound-fortnights-per-yard\".", "id": 24996, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a speedy reaction's your goal,\nAnd your stuff's catalytic in role,\nSmall amounts are enough:\nThough reactive, the stuff\nThat you've added comes back, mole for mole.", "id": 24997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Can an anode and cathode be friends?\nWho's in charge when their sparks fly? Depends.\nAre these opposites wracked\nWhen they learn they attract?\nAre they shocked when their passion transcends?", "id": 24998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Shooting fish in a barrel's too easy,\nLeaving sportsmanlike fish feeling queasy.\n\"Is it fair,\" they might ask,\n\"When we're dropped in a cask,\nAnd you give us both barrels? How sleazy!\"", "id": 24999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Vegetarians munch on a fruit,\nOr they crunch on a lunch of a root.\nAs for me, I might eat\nUgly-animal meat,\nBut refuse to eat anything cute.", "id": 25000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Many food critics English folk follow\nHave two things in common: they wallow\nIn any alignment\nThat shows their refinement,\nAnd choose in dire French all they swallow.", "id": 25001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Where Barnard oft viewed the black ocean\nOf space with a life-long devotion,\nApace and afar\nFleets his Runaway Star,\nRuddy dwarf with a huge proper motion.", "id": 25002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A cave-to-cave salesman named Quinn\nPitched a brand new invention: the \"pin.\"\nIn 12,000 B.C.,\nThis guy walks up to me\nAnd says, \"Hi!  Is the cavewoman in?\"", "id": 25003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "But wait, there is more: the plot thickens!\nThis guy, whom I hate like the dickens,\nThis catchpole just may,\nIn a time-honored way,\nGo \"arrest\" and round up all my chickens!", "id": 25004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The photons and gluons are kin:\nAll bosons have integer spin.\nThey think it's just great\nTo possess the same state,\nSince no Pauli exclusion kicks in.", "id": 25005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A cardiogram can be handy\nFor ensuring your heart is jim-dandy.\nIt's only a test\nThat your doc might suggest.\nIt is not a big heart filled with candy.", "id": 25006, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "What is eighteen plus fifteen?  Let's see.\nEight plus five is thirteen.  You agree?\nMark down \"three\" (we're half done)\nAnd then carry the one.\nThat's three ones for ten each: thirty-three.", "id": 25007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My first paying gig was a mall.\nCrowds were thin and the paycheck was small.\nI don't mind, though.  The fact is\nWith years of hard practice,\nI hope to play Carnegie Hall.", "id": 25008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "A cellist lamented, in Phrygian,\n\"Alas, life is certainly Stygian!\nBefore my Manhasset\nI sit on my asset;\nNone see that I'm so callipygian.\"", "id": 25009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "With a flowery sense of elation,\nUnveiling an auto sensation:\nDetroit's in the red,\nBut they'll blossom instead\nWith a bloomin' insane pink carnation.", "id": 25010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I look good for my age (53),\nSo I wrote Britney Spears: \"Marry me?\"\nBut her lawyers replied\nShe would not be my bride.\nNo big deal, what the hell, c'est la vie.", "id": 25011, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Your uncouthness is driving me nuts!\nCan't you see that's a candy dish, klutz?\nIt's for holding the sweets\nThat a proper guest eats\u2014\nNot for putting out cigarette butts!", "id": 25012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A large box made of cardboard, plus foam,\nCould be used to ship crystal to Rome.\nIt can also be for\nStoring memories, or,\nIf you're out on the streets, home sweet home.", "id": 25013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The adrenocorticotropic\nHormone's this limerick's topic.\nSteroid hormones result\nIn the average adult.\n(And my interest in this?  Microscopic.)", "id": 25014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "So you Yanks think it's made out of cotton?\n(It's candy, in case you've forgotten.)\nPost-eating it, floss!\nIf you don't, mourn the loss\nOf your teeth.  Trust me, tooth decay's rotten.", "id": 25015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "\"My Jane's on a boat.  She's aboard\nA West Indian cruise,\" said Miss Ford.\n\"Jamaica?\" I queried.\n\"Oh no,\" she said, wearied,\n\"She went of her own free accord.\"", "id": 25016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor and Chris Young", "limerick": "If you fancy a brief intermission,\nThe Adulterous Bible's position\nOn the marital 'not'\nIs quite loose (they forgot).\nIt's the ultimate bedside edition.", "id": 25017, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Britunculus", "limerick": "Existentialist gardien de but,\nThe novelist Albert Camus\nMused \"to do is to be\"\nWhilst his team, down nil-three,\nWas protesting \"to be is to do\".", "id": 25018, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I  haven't been carded in years,\nBut the last time it brought me to tears.\nI was laughing, I mean:\nTo be seen as a teen\nBy a fellow whose folks were my peers.", "id": 25019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A Hollywood agent's creation\nNeeds worshipful love from our nation,\nIf he wants to go far\nAs an A-level star,\nAnd to profit from blind adulation.", "id": 25020, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "As units of measurement go,\nHere's a fact that I bet you don't know:\nFour bags (of cement)\nWill together present\nOne full barrel wrapped up with a bow.", "id": 25021, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Card-Pitt was a team from back when\nWorld War II took the best of our men.\nThe Steelers combined\nWith the Cards left behind\nAnd together they went 0\u201310.", "id": 25022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "So you floss with this stuff, do ya, Paul?\nIt's a candy, I seem to recall.\nDo you like dental drills,\nAnd huge dentistry bills,\nAnd a smile that's appalling to all?", "id": 25023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The candy heart said \"U R Hot,\"\nBut another that reads \"I have got\nA voracious temptation\nFor a wild assignation\nWith a middle-aged man\"? Probably not.", "id": 25024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A person can carry disease\nBut then still seem as fine as you please.\nYou've got to be wary:\nThe next Typhoid Mary\nCould reach you with only a sneeze.", "id": 25025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks and David", "limerick": "Though Darwinian selection is blind,\nIt is not by committee, you'll find.\nCan camels lack grace\nThough designed with the place\nWhere they need to survive borne in mind?", "id": 25026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "See what John Paul the Second had done:\nTo beatify someone's more fun.\nThe requirement due\nWas some miracles \u2014 two!\nAs of now, they can do it with one.", "id": 25027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "There are folks who like food rather bland,\nWhere all trace of flavor's been banned.\nBut if I had my wishes,\nThey'd serve fiery dishes\nIn every joint in the land.", "id": 25028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "There are sticklers who never will brook\nBroken rules when they work, play, or cook.\nThey are often uptight\nAnd quite sure that they're right.\nSuch is life when you go by the book.", "id": 25029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Can our can-canny Canning clan, Nanny,\nCan a can? Can a canner man? Can he?\"\n\"Can your clan can a can?\nCan a can-canning man?\nWhy, your cancanning granny can, Danny!\"", "id": 25030, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"You're a link in the chain.  It's been shown\nThat, although it's not your fault alone,\nYour contributory hitch\nIs a 'cause but for which'\nHe'd be fine: causa sine qua non.\"", "id": 25031, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"To air rappel,\" once said a wit,\n\"You don't need special gear in your kit.\"\nMy great-aunt Marie\nDid this Monday when she\nQuite by accident fell down a pit.", "id": 25032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There are three thousand girls in distress\nKept as captives at USPS,\nWhere the postmaster hides\nAll the mail-order brides\nThat were lacking a proper address.", "id": 25033, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"You don't care about others.  You're callous,\"\nSaid the plaintiff, with undisguised malice.\n\"Well, you haven't been sweet,\"\nHe replied in a beat,\n\"Since the night that  we wed, my dear Alice.\"", "id": 25034, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"I'll be blunt,\" said the woman in black.\n\"You're a crude and incompetent hack.\"\nAt her words so direct,\nWhich continued unchecked,\nHer assistant yelled, \"Cut me some slack!\"", "id": 25035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My birthday's bissextile; I laugh\nWhen I order a pint or carafe.\nWhen they ask for ID,\nI will giggle with glee\nAnd inform them I'm five-and-a-half.", "id": 25036, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I'm George Washington Carver-obsessed\nBut my children say, \"Give it a rest!\nEvery meal that we eat\nIs some crazed 'peanut treat'\u2014\nWe demand a paternity test!\"", "id": 25037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "A riddle that might have a hitch: it\nIs punny; it's wiser to ditch it.\nA question or hoax\nThat's confusing to folks\nCan rightly be called carriwitchet.", "id": 25038, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I say aris (in full, Aristotle)\nAs the Londoner's rhyme word for bottle\n(Short for bottle and glass),\nWhich is cockney for arse;\nAnd so aris means \"arse\". That's your lottle.", "id": 25039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Some attorneys refuse to wear shorts\nWhen they argue in criminal courts.\nIt's against their beliefs,\nSo they're filing their briefs\nIn a boxer rebellion of sorts.", "id": 25040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Some limericks rhyme moon, June, and spoon\nTil I want to escape to Canc\u00fan,\nWhere the women are plenty\nAnd muy caliente,\nEach crooning a Mexican tune.", "id": 25041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A bo in a bo called out, \"Bo!\"\nTo a bo with B.O. Want it slow?\nWell, a boy in a tree\nCalled out, \"Boo!\" because he\nWhiffed a tramp's body (B) odour (O).", "id": 25042, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Please forgive me if this seems like bitchin',\nBut I've found your hotel's not as rich in\nHaute cuisine as it boasts\u2014\nFido sniffs at your roasts,\nThen he sends them all back to the kitchen.\"", "id": 25043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Uncle Maxwell is going to die,\nAnd a lifetime of drinking is why.\nAn unreachable goal\nFrom his youth took its toll.\nAds had told him: \"Drink Canada Dry.\"", "id": 25044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I live in what's called the \"Big Smoke\"\nWith non-rural and citified folk.\nWe're tough and we're gritty\nAnd love the big city,\nAnd will til the day that we croak.", "id": 25045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "John Franklin was way beyond late.\nIn an effort to learn of his fate\nThe intrepid Bellot\nWould face hunger and floe,\nThough his future involved a dire strait.", "id": 25046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though I'm moral, a bit humanistic,\nAltruistic and idealistic,\nSince I don't take too kindly\nTo following blindly,\nThank God I was raised atheistic.", "id": 25047, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Categorically, cats'll refuse\nAny food that should fail to amuse:\nIf it doesn't delight,\nThey've an absolute right\nTo be picky and eat what they choose.", "id": 25049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When your injury's bleeding a lot,\nYou can treat it with something that's hot.\nLest your loss when you bleed\nLeaves you less than you need,\nOpt for cautery, causing a clot.", "id": 25050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To avoid feeling chilly or damp,\nA bindlestiff (hobo or tramp)\nTotes a bedroll around\nTo unroll on the ground\nEvery time that he stops to make camp.", "id": 25051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I hadn't intended to harm a\nMosquito that lit on my arm a\nCouple minutes ago,\nBut she died from the blow\nWhen ahimsa proved weaker than karma.", "id": 25052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "My mom's busting her buttons right now,\nRightly proud of her son, I'll allow.\nI can tie my own shoes\nAny time that I choose,\nAnd it took only fifty years\u2014wow!", "id": 25053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "An anorak's kind of a parka,\nUsed by Eskimos cold, in the darka\nThe night, or the bright\nOf a Greenland day's light.\nEither time, it's no lark to go starka.", "id": 25054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Look what this 'ere pickpocket's found!\nThough he swears it just fell on the ground,\nIt's your belcher, I'll warrant!\nHis crime is abhorrent:\nSuch a kerchief would cost you a pound!", "id": 25055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When guerrillas plant bombs in the sand,\nAnd marauders buy guns on demand,\nIt's not novel sedition,\nBut redefinition\nOf tactics once linked to Black Hand.", "id": 25056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Reproduction by alternate means\nSounds like test tubes are merging your genes.\nBut when life's pictures fade\nIt's your camera that's made\nPerfect copies of notable scenes.", "id": 25057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The minstrel sings near where we sit:\n\"Beef stock spiced, broth to simmer a bit.\"\nSo I ask, \"Is that art?\"\nHe replies, hands apart,\n\"No, it's just a soup song of my wit.\"", "id": 25058, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I had surely stopped using my noodle \u2014\nRaising cats as a business is brutal.\nScratch the posts, pack the litter,\nGod bless the high bidder.\nI'm selling the kitten caboodle.", "id": 25059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Seven Webers, two Carters, three, four...\nSixteen Holleys, and two Carters more.\"\n\"Want some burgers for lunch?\"\nHe said, \"No need to munch.\"\n\"Counting carbs,\" I observed from the door.", "id": 25060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "There once was a drunken, loud fellow\nWho ordered his drinks with a bellow.\nThen they put him on meds.\nNow he's placid, instead,\nAnd quite boring, since turning so mellow.", "id": 25061, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "This accountant is no CPA,\nThough he hopes to become one some day.\nThe exams are a trial,\nBut they're surely worthwhile:\nHe'll track money for much better pay.", "id": 25062, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I am male, and at ease with my gender;\nIt is men to whose charms I surrender.\nWomen, too, can be fun,\nBut when all's said and done,\nI'm not straight: I'm more bendy\u2014a bender.", "id": 25063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The way to get rich (should you choose)\nIs to offer what others refuse.\nI have found not a trace\nOf small boats in this place,\nSo I'm launching Great Gobi Canoes.", "id": 25064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Stuffing rocks in a box for a bit,\nI had filled it with all I could fit.\nI warily eyed\nThe bulge in its side \u2014\nOne more stone, it seemed likely to split.", "id": 25065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A whistler at work gave me pause \u2014\nWhat's the opposite word for \"applause\"?\nSo while holding my nose\nI made noises like crows.\n(I've been told I was fired for cause.)", "id": 25066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "With white, brown and orange she's dressed;\nThe name Joseph's descriptively best.\nBut the colorful swirl\nSays our kitten's a girl;\nWith a calico coat she was blessed.", "id": 25067, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "In this candlelight, darling, you glow,\nAnd your features enchant me, just so.\nThen again, I'm not sure,\nSince the light's so obscure\nIn this room\u2014how the hell would I know?", "id": 25068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The cathode ray tube (CRT)\nIs the thingy that works your TV.\nHeated rods send out streams\nOf electrons; the beams\nHit the screen; phosphor gleams RGB.", "id": 25069, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Iraq's current state is abysmal,\nWith its prospects of peace rather dismal.\nDubya started this war,\nYielding blood, sweat and gore,\nAnd success odds quite infinites'mal.", "id": 25070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Some crimes are quite flagrantly blatant,\nNot subtle, nor secret, nor latent.\nIf the doer ain't caught,\nThere's a guy who's been bought,\nOr incompetence utterly patent.", "id": 25071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Early tire wear making you frown?\nGet your wheels checked, the next trip to town.\nThe camber's the pitch,\nOr the angle, at which\nThe wheel isn't straight up and down.", "id": 25072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "By the pool at my house in Lantana\nI erected a yellow cabana.\nIt serves as our shelter\nFrom rain or sun's swelter,\nAnd looks like a giant banana.", "id": 25073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Turning steering a bit to the right\nShouldn't need an abundance of might.\nYou just need to master\nThe concept of caster,\n(But power assist makes it trite).", "id": 25074, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"This date's over!\" she barked. \"That's enough!\nI was staying to play blind man's bluff,\nBut I'm leaving instead,\nSince you never once said\nI'd be clothed, while you'd be in the buff!\"", "id": 25075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're bankrupt, you've run out of money,\nAnd the future does not appear sunny.\nAs you're drowning in debt\nYou can't pay, I would bet\nIt is hard to find much that is funny.", "id": 25076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bankroller's one who'll engage\nTo finance someone lacking a wage,\nOr a movie or play;\nWhen he's willing to pay,\nHe's an angel to all on the stage.", "id": 25077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Deserting my day-to-day scramble\nWhen the weather is nice, I will amble,\nJust taking my time\nWhile I'm still in my prime,\nMy terminus strictly a gamble.", "id": 25078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The inmate was bad to the bone.\nHe was evil and cold as a stone.\nSo when up for parole,\nAnd with freedom his goal,\nHe still struck quite a truculent tone.", "id": 25079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Ere its essence was labeled Platonic,\n.cinodehportsuob saw gnitirw keerG\nArchetypewriters learned\n;denruter egairrac eht woH\nEver since, we have been less laconic.", "id": 25080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "I'll unravel the riddles of old;\nSlay the dragon; gain glory and gold\nBy unfolding each scene\nIn this story onscreen.\nWith adventure games, everyone's bold.", "id": 25081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You've apportioned a portion of it.\nEach gets as his portion a bit,\nFor, I'm sure you'll agree,\nThat apportion must be\nTo divide, share, allot, mete out, split.", "id": 25082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If the earth is denuded and scissored,\nThen a storm, like the wrath of a wizard,\nBlows the topsoil away,\nMaking nighttime from day.\nCan we manage to stay the black blizzard?", "id": 25083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Bodewash's odd root's understood:\nBois de vache (from the French for \"cow's wood\").\nDried buffalo dung\u2014\nOn the fire it's flung.\nThose buffalo chips sure are good!", "id": 25084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Poor critter: he'd not seen it coming,\nAs he happily hopped along humming.\nA truck on the road\nBlindsided the toad,\nExposing some squishy red plumbing.", "id": 25085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My dear spouse of three decades, white-knuckled,\nShouted, \"Fasten your seatbelt!\" I chuckled,\n\"It's just down the street.\"\n\"It's your Maker you'll meet!\"\nLike a dutiful husband, I buckled.", "id": 25086, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Some donations that we made before\nNow have others a-knock at our door,\n'Cause they peddled our name\nTo a list \u2014 it's a shame:\nWe'll not hand out to them anymore.", "id": 25087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The ankylosaur was all spiky,\nThey reckon, and bony, by crikey,\nWith armour that plated\nHis hide: he was fated\nTo have a cantankerous psyche.", "id": 25089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A cow nibbles nettles herbivorously.\nA bear gobbles cattle carnivorously.\nA babe in a cot'll\nDrink milk from a bottle.\nA man eats the lottle\u2014omnivorously.", "id": 25090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A man in the Air Force or Navy\nCan purchase a package of gravy\nIn a base exchange, where\nThere's shampoo for his hair,\nEven lotion to make it more wavy.", "id": 25091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The speed of their growth is a vice,\nBut these water ferns fertilize rice.\nSome call them a weed,\nBut they do a good deed\u2014\nHold on, bashing Azolla's not nice.", "id": 25092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Mum, I'm longing to join humankind,\nBut the lines on my head aren't aligned.\nIt's this silly asyn-\nclitism sealing me in.\nTill I'm free, you'll remain unconfined.", "id": 25093, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If he uttered a word, she would cough \u2014\nClever thought? She'd do nothing but scoff.\nThis symbolic castration\nWas no aberration,\nAs potent as cutting them off.", "id": 25094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Why does calcium carbonate settle\nAs the limescale that furs up my kettle?\nIt seems strange, but I'm told\nIt dissolves better cold\nAnd precipitates warm on hot metal.", "id": 25095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A badass (some donkey at school)\nWas in trouble for kicking a mule.\nHe behaved like an ass,\nAnd was kept after class\u2014\nJust some fool trying hard to be kewl.", "id": 25096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "These bookworms developed a taste\nFor the flavor of bindery paste.\nThey're the larvae of beetles\u2014\nA book's what they eatles,\nSo our library's going to waste.", "id": 25097, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A botany nerd, name of Alex,\nNever heard of that word in italics.\nSo he's looking it up\nIn his book\u2014it's a cup-\nshaped arrangement of sepals, the calyx.", "id": 25098, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Oh Captain, my Captain, it's true:\nYou have gone to your rest in the blue,\nSo we'll never more see\nYou appear on TV\nIn the mornings. Farewell, Kangaroo.", "id": 25099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Cantabrigian cantors delight\nCanting sidewards and back every night.\nWhen they're suitably deft,\nThey can chant canting left.\nIf they can't, then they're left canting right.", "id": 25100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A cathedra (from Greek for \"sit down\")\nIs a throne where no king wears a crown.\nIts appointed alighter,\nA bishop, dons mitre\n(And quite the most sumptuous gown).", "id": 25101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "So much casework!  The paper I chase\nAnd the meetings I have face-to-face\nWith the voters might drain\nMy poor, overworked brain;\nSo a caseworker works here in case.", "id": 25102, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "On a road trip, our Dad knew that when\nWe would reach for the tape deck and then\nPut in ours, he should scramble\nFor gentle Glen Campbell:\nThe right tone's a cowboy, for men.", "id": 25104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young and speedysnail", "limerick": "When it comes to the milk in my brew,\nI think camel's is best through and through.\nA drop from a dromedary\nIs nicer than from a dairy;\nSo's Bactrian. (One lump or two?)", "id": 25105, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Carnies call, \"Step right up! See the show!\nIt costs only two dollars to go\nIn my tent here and see\nChickens larger than me!\nAnd there's one with two horns it can blow!\"", "id": 25106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Do your friends call you fat? Don't ex-friend 'em;\nInstead, give them thanks and commend 'em\nFor words that inspire.\n\"Hey, lose that spare tire!\nDeflate it! You're round as Bibendum!\"", "id": 25107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I wanted to write of aboulia,\nDefining it fully to schoolia.\nBut my willpower's lost,\nAnd we'll both bear the cost\nOf a mindset that does overrulia.", "id": 25108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Canon Cantwell cantankerously\nCanvassed cannibals cannibally.\nCanny cannibal chancers,\nChanting \"Cannular cancers!\"\nCancelled cannibals' candidacy.", "id": 25109, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When Marc Almond (ex-lead of Soft Cell)\nInterprets the work of Jacques Brel,\nHis discoed-up \"Jacky\"\nAvoids being tacky.\n(Terry Jacks didn't manage so well.)", "id": 25110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Though you're fat, if you're rich then some lass'll\nSay \"Yes\" just to live in your castle.\nDon't try losing weight;\nYou'll be blessed with a mate\nIf your cash'll grow fast as your ass'll.", "id": 25111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "My knowledge of matters antennal\nWeighs less than a teaspoon of fennel.\nNow, my friend who's a gnat\nHas antennae down pat.\nBut she's boarding this week at the kennel.", "id": 25112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Besmirch and besmear are the same,\nAnd dirty's the name of the game.\nIt's leaving a smudge\nOf chocolate or fudge,\nOr sullying someone's good name.", "id": 25113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "My dear, you're so very caressable.\nMy love is so strong it's professable.\nAre my feelings based much\nOn your softness of touch?\nI can't tell; this just isn't assessable.", "id": 25114, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Many thanks for the blouse; it's so fresh!\nWith my wardrobe it surely will mesh.\n(And I also should mention\nIt garners attention\u2014\nIt's carneous, colored like flesh.)", "id": 25115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I find it amazing how loose is\nThe method of checking acusis:\nIt's to shout in each ear,\n\"I say, can you hear?\"\n(The procedure has led to abuses.)", "id": 25116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "The deli proprietor, Lou,\nSoundly bludgeoned the thief black and blue.\nHe attacked as one crazed\u2014\nI was really amazed\nWhat a frozen salami can do!", "id": 25118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "His parents had trained him up well\nTo acquit himself just like a swell.\nHe behaved with an air\nOf refined savoir-faire,\nBut his breath was a product of Hell.", "id": 25119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Anomia fills me with dread.\nI forget simple nouns such as bed,\nAnd piano and paper,\nAnd bell, book, and taper,\nAnd that thing on the top of my neck.", "id": 25120, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Boldface looks something like this.\nIt's text that you simply can't miss.\nCall it strong, call it black,\nBut don't squander it, Jack.\nIf you use it too much, readers hiss.", "id": 25121, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Allowances seldom worth making\nAre for dentists whose hands won't stop shaking,\nFor policemen who lie,\nOr for lenders who try\nTo get rich on the interest they're taking.", "id": 25122, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "It takes plenty of tact, this profession;\nSee them finish a hard drinker's session.\nWith art in a bender\nThe ending is tender\u2014\nThat makes an enormous impression.", "id": 25123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Though the absence of bodily cavity\nWould for us be of terminal gravity,\nObserve, for acelom,\nThese flatworms. Just peel 'em\u2014\nOr not. If you'd rather, let's have a tea.", "id": 25124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "If your stand-up routine's lacking zing,\nSay your punchline, then add \"bada-bing!\"\nStill no sound in the room?\nYou can add \"bada-boom!\"\n'Cause most likely this gig's not your thing.", "id": 25125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "When it's time for my afternoon meal\nAnd I want that cathedral appeal,\nQuasimodo shows up\nAnd he takes me to sup\nAt his lunch-back-of-Notre-Dame deal.", "id": 25126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Are beamformers working with wood?\nIf you think so, you've misunderstood.\nWhen antenna arrays\nAre combined using phase,\nThen their beam can be steered, as it should.", "id": 25127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"You like herbs.  You like words.  How do you gloss\nThe name of the plant known as bugloss?\"\n\"Like 'snail-loss' or 'slug-loss',\nI once called it 'bug-loss'.\nSee the leaves?  Greek for ox-tongue's its true gloss.\"", "id": 25128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Half-British, half-German, Hans Durst\nHas a wife who is ready to burst,\nFor his meals drive her bats\u2014\nOne day cod, next day brats.\nShe has married for batter, for wurst.", "id": 25129, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"What's that thing called?\"  I don't mean to mock her,\nBut my girlfriend seemed quite off her rocker.\nI laughed, \"Holy moley!\nThe pad that a goalie\nBlocks pucks with is simply a blocker.\"", "id": 25130, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Said De Soto's comptroller, with sorrow:\n\"When of debits you speak, don't say 'borrow'!\nFor your accounting ratio\nAin't defined, Don Ignacio,\nWith your assets divided by Zorro.\"", "id": 25131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In my mobile they've managed to hide\nA camera, designed to provide,\nDuring each conversation,\nA representation\nOf what my ear looks like inside.", "id": 25132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "A lack of calciferol's fun\n(Although rickets are that way begun),\n'Cos the treatment is free:\nMaking vitamin D,\nLying out on the beach in the sun.", "id": 25133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "To make a new scarf for our John,\nGet big needles to knit it upon.\nThen you knit and you knit\nAnd you knit and you knit,\nThen cast off.  (Oh, to start with, cast on.)", "id": 25134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "You're messing about. You're a drip.\nYour limericks give me the pip.\nYour standards are falling;\nI think you're appalling\u2014\nFor crying out loud, get a grip!", "id": 25135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Let the woman who reads this beware\nOf this caveat; may she take care.\nThere's a risk what I say\nIs untrue in some way.\n(But believe me, my dear, if you dare...)", "id": 25136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Ancient ancestor, sixty years old,\nYou are wise, you are cool, you are bold.\nYou have shown your descendants\nA quiet independence:\nYou ignore (or don't hear) what you're told.", "id": 25137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though I've three different meanings for blucher\n(Coach, Marshal, and boot), only snooker\nAnd Stuka will rhyme,\nSo I'm snookered this time,\nFor old Bl\u00fccher commanded no Stuka!", "id": 25138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though on Skye are two hills with soft crests\nWhich entice men on magical quests,\nFurther south they can dally\nIn Skye's fertile valley,\nSo don't remain long on her breasts.", "id": 25139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "AegNuddel", "limerick": "There once was a boy named Nathaniel,\nWho wanted to walk his dog, Daniel.\nSaid the dog, \"Hey there, Bub!\nI am sealing the tub!\nDon't you think I'm a fine caulker spaniel?\"", "id": 25140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"I've got to take off my tuxedo;\nI'm blind from the fabric's albedo,\"\nI said to my date.\nBut she answered, irate,\n\"Take me home! All I see's your libido!\"", "id": 25141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "All the visible spectrum is spread\nIn a rainbow, that glorious thread.\nAeolotropy bright,\nColors change left to right,\nSplendid nature arched well overhead.", "id": 25143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Flirty flappers from Maine to Manhattan\nWore bras not to lift, but to flatten.\nElasticized bands\nConstricted those glands;\nI'm so glad mine have cups made of satin.", "id": 25144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Us cave boys can ward off attacks\nWith the new Abbevillean axe,\nFor it serves to protect us\nIf some homo erectus\nAssumes we'll be turning our backs.", "id": 25145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We're bewigged when we argue in court,\nAnd the laity often make sport:\n\"That a bob wig up there\nOr your natural hair?\"\n\"It's a Robert wig, sir,\" I retort.", "id": 25146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"A bus is for everyone, dear.\nIn Latin that's omnibus. Clear?\"\nThe late Rosa Parks\nCould have made these remarks\nWhen she told James F. Blake, \"I'll stay here.\"", "id": 25147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Give blood NOW,\" the advertisement pleads,\n\"You possess what this dying child needs.\"\nBut they turn me away\nJust because I'm too gay.\nBloody daft?  Bleeding cruel!  My heart bleeds...", "id": 25148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "There are three things\u2014no, four\u2014beyond ken:\nEagle airborne, and serpent in den\u2014\nA ship as it braves\nThe mid-ocean waves\u2014\nAnd the way women put up with men.", "id": 25149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "King Ahaz's failures were many.\nHe worshipped unwisely, and then he\nWas hated by neighbors.\nThe last of his labors?\nThe Lord wasn't left with a penny.", "id": 25150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I had thought that my sons were just chatting;\nWell, it seems they had ventured out catting\u2014\nNo, not hauling up anchors,\nBut at hazard for chancres\u2014\nAnd when they get home, we'll be spatting.", "id": 25151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Presbyterian stiffs mustn't stay!\nAnabaptists? Hey, cart 'em away!\nThese are Lutheran plots,\nSo we're calling the shots.\nWe have grave reservations. (Let's pray.)", "id": 25152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My friends' anti-disco positions\nThey bellow without inhibitions:\n\"All that 'Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump!'\nTake that crap to the dump!\nThat's for dancers, perhaps, not musicians!\"", "id": 25153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "She'd waited and hoped; got betrothed,\nBut most wedding apparel she loathed:\n\"Bridal veils I won't wear!\"\n\"But the children will stare,\"\nI advised her. \"Though nudist, wed clothed.\"", "id": 25154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Some people of prominent birth\nOr of longstanding status and worth\nAre known as blue-blooded\n(With honours they're flooded),\nBut as we do they end in the earth.", "id": 25155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "I should never have left on that flight,\nFor I lost my left limbs and my sight;\nWell, my left eye was taken,\nSo though I'm left shaken,\nI guess you could say I'm all right.", "id": 25157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Double negatives sometimes, yes, Knight,\nCan be negative,\" Barnes said. \"Yes, quite.\nBut two positives? Never!\nThey cannot, lad, ever!\"\nKnight answered, dismissive, \"Yeah, right.\"", "id": 25158, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If some bedbugs invaded your space,\nThen your cleaning was sure a disgrace.\nIn the night they will creep,\nAnd they'll bite, when you sleep,\nExposed flesh, like your hands, neck, and face.", "id": 25159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Said the blasphemer, son of Shlomit,\n\"Why should God get cold showbread to eat?\nSince it's weeklong intact,\nIt is surely a fact\nThere is no God!\"  His end wasn't sweet.", "id": 25160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "My boat leaks! Don't stand there and gawk!\nYes, it's time now for action, not talk.\nAnd make sure there's enough\nOf the right kind of stuff.\nGet going and caulk it with caulk!", "id": 25161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "To succeed on the angelfish test,\nYou'd be bony and bright and compressed.\nAnd if this is your wish,\nDo make sure you're a fish.\nIf you're not, you'll come off as a pest.", "id": 25162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Our cell culture doesn't mind showing\nWhat amount of it's actively growing.\nWant to know what that's called?\nActive biomass!  Scrawled\nIn some textbook.  I guess it's worth knowing.", "id": 25165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "This clever linguistic invention\nGives rhetorical works new dimension.\n\"What is it?\", you cry.\nYou won't know it 'til I\nSay \"cataphora!\", breaking the tension.", "id": 25166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A CAT scan technician named Lou\nHad a wife who was sick\u2014what to do?\nFirst he X-rayed her guts,\nBut they thought he was nuts\nWhen the guy had his cat scan 'er, too.", "id": 25167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Tycho Brahe, who watched the night sky,\nLearned to track planets' motion.  That's why\nKepler found out the laws\nOf their movement\u2014because\nMr. Brahe had such a good eye.", "id": 25168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Cavernicolous creatures, you'll find,\nLive in caves, and a few might be blind.\nThere's a fish, and an eel;\nThey don't see, but they feel.\nWith no light, that's just how they're designed.", "id": 25169, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "On a catwalk, the models sashay,\nPutting chic, stylish clothes on display.\nAfter walking its length,\nThey will run out of strength,\n'Cause these girls haven't eaten all day.", "id": 25170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Not satisfied groping his spouse\nAnd ogling her breasts through her blouse,\nHe got breasts of his own,\nSo she left with a groan,\nAnd he never again left his house.", "id": 25171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Arrivederci,\" Italians explain;\nWhile \"auf Wiederseh'n,\" Germans maintain;\n\"Au revoir,\" the French say \u2014\nAll, for me, are a way\nTo convey, \"Let us not meet again.\"", "id": 25172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Two tropical birds called cacique\nTry on scarves in a fashion boutique.\nSays Ms Red-rump, \"I say!\nThis yellow's outr\u00e9!\"\nAnd Ms Yellow-rump leaves in a pique.", "id": 25174, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Saying mass in the heat, Father Flynn\nWears a breathable alb on his skin.\nOther priests in Miami\nAre sweaty and clammy,\nWhile he's rather comfy therein.", "id": 25175, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "She stares blankly and gives no response\nWhen she's having a seizure (absence).\nIf you don't know her well\nYou can't tell such a spell\nFrom ennui or extreme nonchalance.", "id": 25176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Said Dad, \"I'm just picking your brain.\nWhat's the Paris-to-Venice fast train?\"\nI said, \"Dad, I would guess\nIt's the Orient Express.\nNow from brain-picking kindly abstain!\"", "id": 25177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A spoiled, very pretty young model,\nTo her agent said, \"Hurry! Don't dawdle!\nI'm feeling quite ill,\nBut I won't take a pill.\nHelp me now!\" So he mixed up a caudle.", "id": 25178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Fill a beautiful box with some cake\nAnd some chicken and bread that you bake.\nNow let's make it look nice\u2014\nThat's my special advice\nFor the box social down by the lake.", "id": 25179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Yankee Doodle's a brief canzonet.\nRow Your Boat is a shorter one yet.\nThey are sweet little airs\nYou may hear at the fairs.\nAlmost everyone knows one, I'll bet.", "id": 25182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "From Cairngorm (\"piled stones that are blue\"),\nComes the crystal that caps my skeann dhu.\nIt's a smoky brown quartz,\nAnd from hikers' reports,\nRuddy hills with a beautiful view.", "id": 25183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Carthaginians' Punic campaign\nWas a product of Hannibal's brain.\nHe just didn't play nice:\nHe enveloped them twice,\nAnd the Romans at Cannae were slain.", "id": 25184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A magus with myrrh, I've been told,\nWas Melchior, wise man of old.\nWhat did Balthasar bring\nAs a gift to the King?\nIt was frankincense. Caspar brought gold.", "id": 25189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The great bells in the steeple are tolling\nWith sonorous, thunderous rolling,\nAnd the sleighbells are jingling,\nWith our voices commingling\u2014\nThe gift of a Savior extolling.", "id": 25190, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "In a sub shop outside Aberdeen,\nOn deployment with VP-19,\nElsie offered a grinder\nWhich made me remind her:\n\"I'm anti-, my dear, submarine.\"", "id": 25191, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Fixing sailboats is such a cash cow\nThat I'm rolling in profits right now.\nAll the keels and the rudders\nAre virtual udders\nThat hang from each schooner and dhow.", "id": 25192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The girls got together today\nAnd cattily chatted away.\nNo one got up to leave\n'Cause each knew she'd receive\nThe same treatment, and be the next prey.", "id": 25193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "On the farm, where he lived as a boy,\nHe honed skills that he'd later employ\nShipping livestock by sea.\nKeeping watch is the key \u2014\nYou should hear how he cries, \"Sheep ahoy!\"", "id": 25194, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "It's a property held by a gene,\nBut just what does allelism mean?\nBeing one of a set\nWhose distinct members let\nVariation between us be seen.", "id": 25195, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's this joke 'bout a cockatoo groomer\nAnd an oversexed latex consumer\nThat I told with finesse,\nYet with lack of success.\n(Sister Anne doesn't care for blue humor.)", "id": 25196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I remember an argument once\nWhere my wife made me feel like a dunce:\n\"Do you think that just maybe\nYou'd hold your own baby?\nI carried that child for nine months!\"", "id": 25197, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you're going to travel by sewer,\nDon't swim.  Be instead a canoer.\nWhile within your canoe\nYou've a much better view,\nAnd the times that you puke will be fewer.", "id": 25198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To my union I said, \"Take a hike!\nYou can't make me do things I don't like.\nFor a raise in my pay\nI must picket?  No way!\"\nI'm pro-union and yet anti-strike.", "id": 25199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Arthur Aardvark adored ABCs;\nBuilder Bob bolted boards bought by bees;\nCanine Clifford chewed clogs;\nDarling Dora digs dogs;\nErnie's Duckie complains; Bert agrees.", "id": 25200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "If you built an adulterine castle\nYou'd prove a rebellious ol' vassal.\nYour King you'd disgrace,\nAnd just to save face\nHe'd dismember you \u2014 oh, what a hassle!", "id": 25201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "I've a new cable modem at last;\nNow identity theft is a blast!\nI am totally awed\nThat at six million baud\nI can perpetrate fraud\u2014and so fast!", "id": 25202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I have a condition that's dubbed\nAcropathy. Somebody flubbed\nWhen they issued my genes,\nFor acropathy means\nThat from birth all my fingers are clubbed.", "id": 25203, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "McCartney and Clapton weren't bugged.\nFor the camera, they happily mugged\nAnd then played their guitars,\nThese acoustic rock stars,\nOn the MTV series Unplugged.", "id": 25204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "She'll benumb your distresses, it's true.\nThe \"she\" is good Glinda, that's who.\nIn her caldron, she boils\nMalted barley and oils\nOf hops, which she calls \"witch's brew.\"", "id": 25205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Remote diagnosis?  I'm cynical.\nThough medicine's reached quite a pinnacle,\nPerhaps quackery will\nSend our healthcare downhill\nOn an anticline most anticlinical.", "id": 25206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "C & W music is why\nPeople come to my bar when they're dry.\nEvery good ol' boy backs\nCountry/Western-style acts,\nSo no purple-haired freaks need apply.", "id": 25207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Send a candygram?  Here's what you do:\nChoose your sweets, then a text.  \"I love you\"\nAs a message is great,\nBut \"You're putting on weight\"?\nProbably not, though undoubtedly true.", "id": 25208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Both his daughters complied; they were sportive,\nNot to mention quite lithe and contortive.\nI was shocked, I confess,\nAt their affableness.\n\"He's our dad. No big deal. We're supportive!\"", "id": 25209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Its advocates scream \"Caveman diet!\"\nAnd logic demands that I try it,\nBut no Twinkies, burritos,\nCheese pizza, or Fritos?\nI'm sorry, I just cannot buy it.", "id": 25210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Banner blindness, in short, means that your\nWebsite banner's a cinch to ignore.\nBlinking arrows point to it,\nBut I'm looking right through it.\nIt was eye-catching once, but no more.", "id": 25211, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Pickled Flower Buds Gone!\"  I will tape her\nAccount of the theft for my paper.\nThis Canaveral Mrs.\nCries, \"What a crime this is!\"\nWe'll name it \"The Cape Caper Caper.\"", "id": 25212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"It's atypical,\" so we were told,\n\"Not unusual, in someone so old.\"\nBut his lungs lost the fight;\nPoor Ken died in the night,\nOnce pneumonia strengthened its hold.", "id": 25213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Of all animals, which would you say\nWere the cleverest?  Mammals?  No way!\nThe smartest, most fly\nAre ephemera.  Why?\n'Cause these creatures weren't born yesterday.", "id": 25214, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "It's as far as recycling has got.\nAnd it's green, eco-friendly... the lot.\nIt's a real manly diet\n(And womanly).  Try it.\nGive cannibalism a shot.", "id": 25215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was once a young cleric from Brie\nWho encountered a maid named Marie.\nHe solicited, \"Please,\nCould we go make some cheese?\"\nSo they made Camembert. (She said \"Oui.\")", "id": 25217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You know Cabbage Patch Kids were once \"in,\"\nAnd the source of much marketing din.\nAngry parents all griped:\n\"Overpriced!  Overhyped!\"\nAnd, what's more, they were ugly as sin.", "id": 25218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "The shrill howling behind the tall fence\nWas unsettling; I felt some suspense.\nTurned out kittens were thrown\nAt a wall made of stone \u2014\nThat they'd caterwaul made perfect sense.", "id": 25219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown and S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "Here's a great word \u2014 allegorization:\n\"Allegorical interpretation.\"\nPlato's tale of the cave\nShows how shadows behave\nUntil thought provides illumination.", "id": 25220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "What's an anthracolithic deposit?\nWell, you've gotten it right on the schnozz: it\nMeans graphite (How droll!)\nOr some anthracite coal,\nWhich you shouldn't keep stored in your closet.", "id": 25221, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "Use Cartesian-style terms to assign\nThe location of points not in line.\nIf the points number three\n(Plotted \"x\", \"y\", and \"z\"),\nOne and only one plane you'll define.", "id": 25222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "When the health screener down at the mall\nHung a Grinch poster up on the wall,\nAll who passed had to laugh,\n'Cause the cardiograph\nShowed his heart was two sizes too small.", "id": 25223, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When I winked at a brassy-skinned lass,\nShe spoke brassily, hand on her ass:\n\"Baby, this costs a lot.\nHow much brass have you got?\" \u2014\nI was brassed off: the girl was a brass!", "id": 25224, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Adolescent, that fuzz on your chin\nIs just bumfluff, all downy and thin.\nBut grow up a few years,\nProper beard growth appears\nAnd the twice-daily shave can begin.", "id": 25225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Though I'm thousands of feet in the air,\nI feel nausea, misplaced mal de mer.\nFeel the craft sway and swoop;\nSee my lunch loop the loop:\nI am airsick \u2014 all over my chair.", "id": 25227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "To be fearful of sound must be bad.\nWhen you think of the fun to be had\nFrom our laughter and song,\nTo need silence is wrong.\nAcousticophobia's sad.", "id": 25228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The batsman was bragging about\nHis great skill at the crease, his huge clout.\nBut alas, he had lied,\nAnd his first ball he skied.\nHe was caught out, well, doubly caught out.", "id": 25229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "O come ye, a newly born king,\nHark the herald, and merrily ding!\nAngels, shepherds, a star,\nThree wise men from afar;\nTime for carols! Let's join in and sing.", "id": 25230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "To burn ears in the US of A:\nTo rebuke in a powerful way.\nBut when British ears burn,\nYou discuss out of turn\nSome poor sap who can't hear what you say.", "id": 25231, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Sharing blade roast along with a chat,\nThey chewed gristle as well as the fat.\nTheir strong points of view,\nAnd the cut of meat, too,\nCame straight from the shoulder, just that.", "id": 25232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "With atabals (kettledrums) sounding,\nThe Moors were invading, surrounding\nAnd perhaps thanking heaven\nFor seven eleven,\nThe year they gave Spain a good pounding.", "id": 25233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I have eaten a bit of cardoon,\nA veggie I've grown since last June.\nNow it seems such a waste\n'Cause I hated the taste,\nSo I'm finding the nearest spittoon!", "id": 25234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My cows were consuming their grain\nWhen I noticed a bug that's a bane.\nThe black cadelle beetle\nI found in their feed'll\nMake feeding my cattle a strain.", "id": 25235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "In the aftermath, tell me, what track\nIs your mind on? Your tongue's fallen slack.\nAre you thinking it out\nAnd conceding some doubt,\nOr conceiving your counterattack?", "id": 25236, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "\"Oh the horror agglutinogenic!\"\nScream the germs with awareness quite splenic.\nThough these bugs be forlorn,\nWondrous cell clumps are born:\nAntibodies that find it Edenic!", "id": 25237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a young lady of Bow\nWho'd \"tea leaf\" wherever she'd go.\nI thought I'd advise 'er\nTo read for Eliza:\nI did\u2014now she's stolen the show!", "id": 25238, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "On the bench, while the advocates plead,\nSwigs of gin make me too drunk to read.\nI rejoice as I gulp 'em:\nAd vitam aut culpam \u2014\nAppointment till death or ill deed.", "id": 25239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Here's my grouse: it's those birds I hear daily\nIn the Highlands in spring \u2014 capercaillie.\nThere's a loud mating flock\n(Which is known as a \"tok\")\nWhere the cocks like to lek (show off, malely).", "id": 25240, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An adder of bit-length notation\nIs an EX-OR, in basic formation.\nBut when \"1\" and \"1\" marry,\nThey output a carry\nThat's summed in the next combination.", "id": 25241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To his friends, Alessandro's a fount\nOf support\u2014each is given a mount.\nSo they'll buy, for his wedding,\nSome feathery bedding.\nThey aim to get down for the Count.", "id": 25242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This burlesque is outrageous and campy\u2014\nThe gals are affectedly vampy.\nThe fellas have wrists\nThat are limp, and the trysts\nThey engage in are slutty and trampy.", "id": 25243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The melody sung by the chorus\nWas dulcet, euphonic, canorous,\nMellifluous, sweet\u2014\nA harmonious treat.\n(So I learned from my trusty thesaurus.)", "id": 25244, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In their crackers, refineries take\nHydrocarbons as input and break\n(Catalytically treat)\nThem, through pressure and heat,\nInto gas\u2014oh, the money they make!", "id": 25245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Those reactions that chemists designed,\nIn which carbonyl compounds combined\n(And CO had a role),\nHelp accomplish my goal:\nGetting carbonylation defined.", "id": 25246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Caliche's a gravel or rock\nBearing nitrate\u2014a salt kept in stock\nBy the gunpowder makers,\nThe farmers with acres\nOf crop-growing land, and my doc.", "id": 25247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A caricature or lampoon\nMakes the target appear the buffoon\u2014\nLike a president shown\nWith a nose that has grown\nTo such length it can reach to the moon.", "id": 25248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Here's the baba I ordered for you,\nAnd this knife, for the cutting, should do.\nAs a glutton, try salving\nYour hunger by halving\nYour cake now and eating it, too.", "id": 25249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I love cackle fruit, scrambled or fried,\nWith a few greasy links on the side.\nSaid my doctor, \"You need\nFewer eggs in your feed.\"\n\"Oh, I'm eating more tofu,\" I lied.", "id": 25250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The beatific and saintly old monk\nWas clearing his altar of junk.\nThere was wine in the cup;\nLife-long morals slipped up,\nAnd he soon was as drunk as a skunk.", "id": 25252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The Mexican said to the gringo,\n\"I'm very confused by your lingo.\nIt's the name of a game,\nYet your use seems the same\nAs correct and quite accurate.\"  \"Bingo!\"", "id": 25253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A beekeeping grandpa I had,\nAnd a beekeeper too was my dad,\n Thus my whole family tree's\n Known for tending to bees.\nAll this waxing nostalgic seems sad.", "id": 25254, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "A dyslexic agnostic from Prague\nUsed to wonder while out on a jog,\n \"Is there someone above\n  Looking down? I'd sure love\nTo know whether there's really a dog.\"", "id": 25255, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Al Capone was a social disgrace\u2014\nThe Red Baron, a whole different case.\nThough they can't be compared,\nThere's a nickname they shared\u2014\nWell, almost: Scarface and Scarf Ace.", "id": 25256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "Dirt and dust by your nose hairs is caught,\nAnd then once they've collected a lot,\n If it forms solid mass,\n It's a booger. Alas,\nIf it's liquid and runs, then it's not.", "id": 25257, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Seth Brown", "limerick": "What is bearbaiting? Have a bear chained,\nLoose attack dogs (who aren't so restrained)\n To go fight with the bear.\n If they die, you don't care:\nEither way, the ground's bloody and stained.", "id": 25258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Antiquarian can be a label\nFor the person appraising your table.\nShe may even know\nIf the story you sow\nOf its origin's only a fable.", "id": 25259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle and speedysnail", "limerick": "A carnival geek in our town\nMade the principled PETA folk frown\u2014\nBiting heads off of geese!\nWhen this brought the police,\nHe got nabbed with his mouth in the down.", "id": 25260, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "There are taxis lined up front to back\nAt the cabstand, the place for a hack.\nOn the street, try to grab\nOr to flag down a cab,\nAnd your chances are slim\u2014if you're black.", "id": 25261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "We'll be famed as the new South Sea Bubble;\nWe're losing our cash at the double.\nWe're doomed at a hurry\nTo fret and to worry,\nAbnormal loss means we're in trouble.", "id": 25262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The pinkie's improbable name\u2014\nThe auricular\u2014seemingly came\nFrom its noted acumen\nDislodging cerumen,\nA dubious sort of acclaim.", "id": 25263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My chiropteran pet turned thirteen,\nAnd the party I threw her was seen\nBy my buddy, who's Jewish,\nAs sort of a newish\nBat mitzvah. (You know what I mean?)", "id": 25264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When our captain said, \"Plot us a path,\"\nDid you calculate wrong with your math?\nNow our ship is a wreck\u2014\nIt's in sand to its deck\u2014\nWhile our planes have all taken a bath.", "id": 25265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "For my \"blasphemous\" play, Christ the Clown,\nI've been tried and condemned by the Crown.\nAll the fuss that's afoot\nShows you just cannot put\nThe Good Book, as the saying goes, down.", "id": 25266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The absence of water won't trammel\nThe \"ship of the desert\", the camel.\nIts food turns to fat\nTurns to water \u2014 like that!\nIt's a truly remarkable mammal.", "id": 25267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Lack, alas! For my ass is no more,\nAnd the thistles he used to adore\nNow adorn his sarcophagus.\nI'll miss my cardophagus;\nI'll mourn my poor Eeyore of yore.", "id": 25268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "L. Frank Baum wrote The Wizard of Oz;\nAnd I think you should read it, because\nThe much-garlanded flick\nColors prose heel-click slick.\nWhat a wonderful wordsmith he was!", "id": 25269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Look \u2014 I've drawn you a caricature.\nIts distortions will please you, I'm sure:\nThe huge head means you're brainy;\nThe red nose says you're zany.\nThe small genitals?  Why, you're so pure!", "id": 25270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "I cannot help writing this stuff,\nMy husband says \"Stop, it's enough\",\nBut I can't seem to stop;\nI will write till I drop\nSo I guess I'll just have to hang tough.", "id": 25271, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The soldierly men of Fort Harrison\nThought the workhorse attached to the garrison\nWas a dull, worn-out jade,\nBut when groomed for parade,\nHe was brighter by far in caparison.", "id": 25272, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "\"I'm afraid that you're really a pig, Mick,\nWith cacophonous noise borborygmic!\"\n\"I really can't see\nWhat you're driving at, Bea.\"\n\"That's because you are also astigmic.\"", "id": 25273, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Ask a scientist chap for a candle;\nWhat he gives you is tricky to handle:\n\"Let platinum freeze\nAt 2000 degrees....\"\nSure, it glows, but the cost is a scandal!", "id": 25274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Making glass for a pane or a shot,\nAdd some potash and sand to your pot\nAnd calcine it to frit\nIn a calcar, to wit,\nIn a furnace that isn't too hot.", "id": 25275, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "A water well simply won't flow\nIf an aquiclude's lying below.\nInsufficiently holey,\nIts role is quite lowly:\nA region where water won't go.", "id": 25276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A word or a phrase that's amendatory\nIs added in some ways compensatory\nTo put right a wrong,\nIn a rhyme or a song,\nDeflecting critique that's condemnatory.", "id": 25277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The accounting equation's utility's\nIn that assets must match liabilities\nPlus capital owed\n(Whether that was bestowed\nBy the owners as cash or facilities).", "id": 25278, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "This panel shows archers at war\nLike they'd never been painted before,\nTheir bows shooting arrows,\nThe dead guys in barrows\u2014\nThat's art, sure, go buy me some more!", "id": 25279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Take some lead\u2014just one twelfth of a pound\u2014\nForm a ball; make it perfectly round.\nThen its size 'cross the middle\nShould answer the riddle:\nIt's the bore of a twelve-gauge you've found.", "id": 25280, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "To a cannibal, people are pannable,\nServable, save-in-Saran-able,\nDiceable, boilable,\nSliceable, broilable,\nTasty and, fittingly, cannable.", "id": 25281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "When my dad was a surgeon he went\nEvery Christmas to hospital, spent\nLunchtime carving the bird\u2014\nThough the patients preferred\nChristmas pudding, one hundred percent!", "id": 25282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "His stern, straitlaced wife is a paragon\u2014\nA modern-day Catherine of Aragon\u2014\nBut his foremost complaint's\nAll the paintings of saints\nThat she hangs. (\"Where's my pinup of Farrah gone?\")", "id": 25283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "My aunt's got a face like a hatchet\nAnd a vicious bad temper to match it.\nI've escaped her thus far\u2014\nNow I've damaged her car!\nIf I scratch and don't patch it, I'll catch it\u2026.", "id": 25284, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The great Roland Barthes wrote to vent\nOn the myth of authorial intent,\nFor that cannot be known,\nAs he clearly has shown\n(Though we clearly can't know what he meant).", "id": 25285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A woman's dead body was found.\nSpeculation and hearsay abound.\nThe rumors are flying,\nYet no one is crying;\nWe all didn't want her around.", "id": 25286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My beloved has every grace;\nJacob's beauty is seen in her face.\nShe will blush like a rose\nIf I also disclose:\nShe has Esau's too (guess in what place?).", "id": 25287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I astonish; I cause apprehension.\nMy opinions inspire dissension.\nI'm a caution who breeds\nShock and awe with my deeds;\nBut didn't I get your attention?", "id": 25288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "She plays ringer with neighborhood girls,\nUsing marbles with colorful swirls.\nSince their marbles are plain,\nThey will try to obtain\nThe magnificent cat's-eye she hurls.", "id": 25289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "Side-view mirrors will show who is near\nThe side of your car, or the rear.\nA catoptric effect\nMeans your car could be wrecked,\n'Cause they're closer than they might appear.", "id": 25290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "The cankering of our society\nIs a festering source of anxiety.\nThe life we've enjoyed\nWill be slowly destroyed\nBy corruption, deceit, impropriety.", "id": 25291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A caveat's used for suspending\nCertain legal proceedings, contending\nThat the case is contested;\nA hearing's requested.\nDon't buy it?  Make sure you're attending!", "id": 25292, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I keep my rifampicin close;\nMy doc's prescribed dose after dose\nSince he clearly can see\nCavitary TB.\nI have holes in my lungs.  Man, it's gross!", "id": 25293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I bewail my late mother, so I\nOften think of her; that's when I cry.\nI'm investing a lot\nOf emotion and thought\nIn her memory, since her good-bye.", "id": 25294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "If your baby is able to toddle,\nHe might sit on your balsa wood model.\nIf he does this, then what\nShould you do?  Smack his butt!\n(That's the side of him known as the caudal.)", "id": 25295, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Spiky flowers top stems four feet tall,\nBrightening dark muddy woods in the fall\nWith their cardinal red;\n\"Smoke their leaves,\" it is said,\n\"To achieve a tobacco-like thrall.\"", "id": 25296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My neighbor, named Ned, has a need:\nIt's to breed an Arabian steed.\nHe aspires to that goal,\nBut for siring a foal,\nWon't his mare need Arabian seed?", "id": 25298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Said the rapturous rat, \"I can't wait\n'Til we capture that cat that I hate.\nWe'll go kidnapping, cat-trapping,\nCatching her catnapping,\nAptly with catnip for bait.\"", "id": 25300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In Ibsen, my friend is a dabbler,\nBut she's also a snoop and a babbler.\nI remember the day\nWhen we went to a play\nAnd she gossiped throughout Hedda Gabler.", "id": 25301, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In creating my Christmas decor,\nI string cranberry garlands galore.\nI use holly with berries\nAs red as ripe cherries,\nAnd mistletoe hangs o'er the door.", "id": 25306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "It's the Cavalcade (march) of the Kings,\nA parade for Spain's children that brings\nGifts they long to receive\nOn Epiphany Eve\nFrom the magi, as everyone sings.", "id": 25307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Each year towards the end of November,\nA calendar meant for December\nAppeared on the  wall\nOf my family's front hall\u2014\nIt's something I'll always remember.", "id": 25308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "It was there that the young couple sought\nOut a place for a child to be brought\nInto this world of sadness\nTo bring peace and gladness.\nIn Bethlehem wonders were wrought.", "id": 25309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "A b\u00fbche de No\u00ebl is a cake\nThat my mother from Paris would bake\nTo be served Christmas Day\nAt our family buffet.\nYes, a yule log is what she would make.", "id": 25310, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "The onset of migraine can be:\nYou have flashes of light and can't see.\nThat's the aura, the first\nStage, and some say the worst.\nThose with headaches may well disagree.", "id": 25311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Four tall candles, a circle of pine\nAre arranged where we gather to dine.\nOur Advent wreath's light\nWarms the chill winter night\nAs it welcomes the Christ child divine.", "id": 25312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Find the difference 'tween seven and one?\nYou'd subtract one from seven.  Not fun.\nA 2's complement path\nMakes it additive math;\nIn computerese that's how it's done.", "id": 25313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "An advisory: watch it, look out!\nSomething's up\u2014there is danger about.\nThe levee might burst,\nBringing grief and a worst-\ncase scenario. Heed, without doubt.", "id": 25316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Want a beefburger\u2014nice, sorta rare?\nEh, what's that that you say\u2014you don't dare?\nWhat's E. coli? Nah, don't\nBe afraid\u2014a bite won't\nDo you harm. And what's that\u2014mad cow scare?", "id": 25317, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's a gimmick, as everyone knows,\nUsed by Ingres and more, I suppose,\nBut with pencil in paw,\nI am able to draw\nWhat the camera lucida shows.", "id": 25318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Simple elegance cues my reaction\nTo Babinet's principle's action:\nWe see the same fringes\nFrom light that impinges\nOn disks, or on holes, from diffraction.", "id": 25319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The wine has been drained. They suggest\nI refill from the butt. Hence my quest\nTo the buttery door.\n\"There's no butt on the floor.\"\n\"There is now!\" I'm the butt of their jest.", "id": 25320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Wrapping packages can be a feat,\nFor each box must be all nice and neat,\nAnd then topped with a bow\nThat is tied up just so.\nIt's a wrap! Now my gift is complete!", "id": 25321, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Mom says Christmas trees have to be live,\nSo we'll set out one morning at five\nAnd, to satisfy her,\nCut a fine balsam fir,\nTie it fast to the car top, and drive.", "id": 25322, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "As the dying year winds down and ends,\nWe all long to commune with our friends,\nBut when meeting is hard,\nWe rely on a card\nFor the holiday greetings it sends.", "id": 25323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Though the gold-digger's tactics are old,\nAll her men are still deftly cajoled.\nFor each elderly beau\nIn turn parts with his dough:\nSeems her husband will do as he's told!", "id": 25324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Now, one is called \"Rovers,\" you say?\nAnd the other one \"City\"\u2014Okay!\nThey should both get a cup,\nFor I've made my mind up:\nThat's a great pair of Bristols\u2014hooray!", "id": 25325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "To feel Little Havana's true beat,\nCalle Ocho's the name of the street\nWhere good food and great fun\nHave their day in the sun\nWhen its festival raises the heat.", "id": 25326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "I just talked with the vet 'bout old Sam.\n\"Not to fret,\" he said, \"over each gram.\"\nNo catastrophe, dear,\nBut the doc was quite clear.\n\"You can't stop this cat's atrophy, ma'am.\"", "id": 25327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "A near CirCle, this letter is third.\nLe Croissant? Yes, the shape's in this word.\nA Crisp hardness is found\nIn Catastrophe's sound.\nIn an iCe oCean soft 'sea' is heard.", "id": 25328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Meet Justin, insurance fraud buster\u2014\nChiropractical bills, by the cluster,\nHe just stamps: \"QUACK\" \"QUACK\" \"QUACK\".\nThen he sends them all back,\nSigned by, \"Justin, Adjuster Adjustor.\"", "id": 25329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "If you're near a Canadian river\nAnd reindeer's your prey, to deliver\nA scare, a boo mightn't\nMake caribou frightened,\nBut might make a porcupine quiver.", "id": 25330, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Is a cat rig aloft on a craft\nWhere the cats cry, \"Fish ho!\"? Don't be daft!\nIt's a mainsail tied fast\nTo a pleasure boat's mast,\nFrom its forepaws right back to its aft.", "id": 25331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Tim Alborn", "limerick": "Define it (this sense is historic),\nThe word that we call cataphoric:\nElectric attractions\nCause movement, like actions\nOf acids (perhaps hydrochloric).", "id": 25332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "If the hocks of your horse get to swelling,\nIs lameness what swelling's foretelling?\nIf they're bog spavins, not \u2014\nShe'll recover her trot.\nIf they're bone spavins, think about selling.", "id": 25333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "\"Let's swap calculus homework,\" said Lee,\n\"For my prof is like Simon Legree!\nI'll do yours; you do mine!\"\nI said, \"Thanks, but I'm fine;\nNo derivatives trading for me!\"", "id": 25334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "3-1-1 is the number for when\nNo assistance is needed right then.\nIt's for potholes, strewn litter,\nNo lights all aglitter,\nOr in-laws who stayed once again.", "id": 25337, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"I must cancel the concerts I planned;\nHope the rest of the band understand!\"\nThe poor pianist wailed,\n\"With these nodes I'm assailed,\nI've got Bouchard's all over my hand!\"", "id": 25338, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Cartographers draw us nice maps,\nWhile biographers write about chaps.\nTo map my career\nI suppose I should see a\nGood cartobiographer? (P'rhaps.)", "id": 25339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "I've in hand the infinitive thesis\nOn malapropism: some pieces\nAre replete in MS,\nBut I have to profess\nI've misled them \u2014 a real catachresis.", "id": 25340, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As instruction, thought old Father Flynn,\nCatechesis is worse than a sin:\nIts Q&A format\nEnlightens the doormat,\nReleasing the puppet within.", "id": 25341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If rations are stored in a rattery,\nDo cations lounge in a cattery?\nOr, on orders of sarges,\nMove their positive charges\nTo the cathode that comes from a battery?", "id": 25342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I was born somewhere south of the border;\nTill adoption, the state was my warder.\nOf my new mom, I'm fond\nAnd we've forged a tight bond,\nThus avoiding attachment disorder.", "id": 25343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Pieced together from fossil remains,\nThe geologists' theory explains\t\n(In a Permian sea\nNear Pangaea-to-be)\nHow Cathaysia was formed from terranes.", "id": 25344, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Nipping shoots to effect my designs,\nI'm a landscaper, candling pines.\nI don't care for the look\nOf God's coloring book\nWhen He's drawing outside of the lines.", "id": 25345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Aristotle, whom more than a few\nThink the greatest of minds, held the view\nThat each star must adhere\nTo a vast crystal sphere.\nBut I think that's all balls.  How 'bout you?", "id": 25346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Thomas Hobbes said we ought to be glad\nTo have laws, be they ever so bad.\nLawless life was, he taught,\nNasty, brutish and short.\nYou want proof?  Take a look at Baghdad.", "id": 25347, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Theological works by Aquinas\nAren't noted for laughs; and the dryness\nAnd length of his Summa,\nA lethal mind-number,\nTo godlessness could well incline us.", "id": 25348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"Dear Lenin,\" said lovelorn Krupskaya,\n\"In your pillow talk when we retire,\nPlease, don't murmur of Marx:\nIt is seldom he sparks,\nIn a Bolshevik even, desire.\"", "id": 25349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"Any highroad to England,\" said he.\nMany Sassenachs tend to agree\nWith the Cham when they choose\nCaledonian views\nOf the sort they're most anxious to see.", "id": 25350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Ya are, let me tell ya, in trub.  Ya\nHave turned half Baghdad into rub.  Ya\nHave traded Saddam\nFor a second Vietnam.\nNo Tet yet?  It's a-comin', G. Dubya.", "id": 25351, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When you promised us sun, what a sham!\nAll your barograms aren't worth a damn,\nAnd your barograph's junk\nThat belongs in a trunk:\nIt's been raining so hard that we swam!", "id": 25352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "As I took a long sip from her punch,\nFrom my mouth came an unforeseen crunch.\nI remarked, \"That was hard!\"\n\"If it tasted like chard,\"\nShe replied, \"it was part of my lunch.\"", "id": 25353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil and J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "If you programme computers, you'll find\nThat conditions are often combined;\nIf you see your direction's\nTo multi-selections,\nThe case statement comes to your mind.", "id": 25354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "OEDILFing\u2014such fun to be had,\nBut it's crazy! It's daft! And a tad\nBeyond merely irrational,\nAlthough international\u2014\nWe're barking, we're all of us mad!", "id": 25355, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "As geography teachers can show,\nIf a body of water can flow,\nIt erodes the bed's surface.\nWould rap fans prefer this? \u2014\n\"Base Level: how low can it go?\"", "id": 25356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"What's this?\"  \"What are those?\"  \"Can you name 'em?\"\nHis questions so irk and inflame 'em,\nMen he'd sought to offend\nContrive Socrates' end.\nAnd honestly, folks, could you blame 'em?", "id": 25357, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Cook some sugar-cane juice in a still \u2014\nWhat comes out is the pride of Brazil.\nAll the people's demands\nFor the 4000 brands\nOf cacha\u00e7a, distillers fulfill.", "id": 25359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev and mike scholtes", "limerick": "The rider nears timbers piled high.\nWill his mount clear the jump or be shy?\nHe urges his steed,\nAnd they put on some speed\u2014\nO'er the first cavalletti they fly!", "id": 25361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If you wish you could kayak in Maine\nOr go white-water rafting in Spain,\nYou'll think rock climbing's neat\nAnd a bungee jump's sweet,\nSince adventure sports reign in your brain.", "id": 25362, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Eric Carle writes a lot of kids' books,\nThen draws pictures to give them good looks.\nIf your children can read,\nOn these books they can feed\nIn their favorite book-reading nooks.", "id": 25363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The fun house I've seen at the fair\nHas twenty-odd mirrors, so there\nIs a place that's catoptric.\nIt's making my optic\nNerves ache. But you likely don't care.", "id": 25364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The blue capelet my grandmother wore\nDidn't come from a big, fancy store.\nShe had knit it by hand\nAnd I thought it was grand.\nThese short capes aren't in style anymore.", "id": 25365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "So your cat has distemper? How sad!\nJust the thought of it makes me feel bad!\nYour cat has a fever,\nAnd you'll be a griever\u2014\nIf you don't put him down, he'll go mad!", "id": 25366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I'll briefly attest that this word\nIs so short that it's almost absurd.\nIt's quick, it's concise,\nAnd in speeches it's nice.\nIt's terse, it's compact, it's preferred.", "id": 25367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The catalpa tree sways in the breezes,\nAnd the scent of its blossoms sure pleases\nMe. Here in my hammock\nThe view's panoramic,\nAnd the soft wind the summer's heat eases.", "id": 25368, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The pointed capuche the monk wore\nWas unlike any hood seen before.\nIt had rhinestones that dangled;\nWith gems it was spangled.\n'Twas odd for Capuchin decor!", "id": 25369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I live in campestral seclusion,\nFar away from the city's confusion\u2014\nNear the fields and the trees,\nThe bears and the bees\u2014\nIn the middle of nature's profusion.", "id": 25370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Through the heather the cateran rode\nOn a dark winding path, with his load\nOf the booty he'd taken.\nHis nerves were quite shaken,\nSince the law found his highland abode.", "id": 25371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Come now, my friends, go with me\nTo the local Girl Scouts' camporee!\nSing some songs by the fire\u2014\nAdd some wood! Make it higher!\nThen tell scary stories! Wow! Whee!", "id": 25372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Very funny.  You bastard, you lied.\nThat's a chilli; my lips are now fried.\nOn the life of your child\nYou swear capsicum's mild.\nOne more joke: it's your fault that he died.", "id": 25373, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My caloric consumption is strange,\nAnd my diet I must rearrange.\nMy weight is so high,\nDoctor says I could die\u2014\nI want ice cream first! Find me some change!", "id": 25374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "rbalexx", "limerick": "Vegas trip, my firm's card \u2014 fate appeared.\nThe sign read \"Get Cash Here\", which proved weird.\nI bought chips from cashiers.\nMy ex-firm's in arrears.\n\"Get Cash Here\" is what got me cashiered.", "id": 25375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "\"Ah-choo!\" (That's me sneezing.) \"Ah-choo!\"\nI'm allergic to smokers. Are you?\nThat thick, toxic smoke\nMakes me cough, wheeze, and choke!\nIf you've had some, please suck a cachou!", "id": 25376, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A canzone's a madrigal song,\nAnd I'd guess that it's probably long.\nIt's Italian, to boot,\nSo most likely a lute\nHas a part. But I just might be wrong.", "id": 25377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "All my white window casings are banging\nIn wind, since they loosely are hanging.\nIf the glass should fall out,\nAt my husband I'll shout,\nSince he chose not to heed my haranguing.", "id": 25378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "A cantle's the back of a saddle\nWhere a horseman might ride, all astraddle\nHis beautiful horse.\nIf it's me, then of course,\nWhile I'm riding I'll eat Fiddle  Faddle.", "id": 25379, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "What's a cart? It's a box on some wheels\nYou can use to cart groceries for meals.\nIn your cart you could cart\nPerhaps darts or some art,\nOr some parts for some automobiles!", "id": 25380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "With my paper and pens I'm equipped\nTo write beautiful, fine, fancy script.\nI think I'll use pink-\nhued calligraphy ink\u2014\nOops! I must start again! That page ripped!", "id": 25381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Acepromazine's useful to vets\nFor sedating excitable pets\u2014\nHorses, dogs, and cats too\n(People? Never for you!)\u2014\nOr when heart pain or nausea besets.", "id": 25382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "After running all day in the heat,\nThey called, \"Truce! We're, quite candidly, beat!\"\nNow that huge brontosaur\nGuards the caveman's cave door.\nThey eat vegetables only\u2014no meat.", "id": 25383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Anthophobic, I'm frightened of lilies\nAnd roses and daffy-down-dillies\nAnd tulips, camellias,\nAnd sweet bougainvilleas.\nMy God, but they give me the willies!", "id": 25384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Being cardiogenic, the pain\nThat you're feeling comes not from a sprain,\nBut instead from your heart.\nNo surprise when you start\nShooting heroin, speed, and cocaine.", "id": 25385, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "A fancy new style I was needin',\n.nodehportsuoB keerG eht tuo deirt I oS\nBut this slithering mess\nssertsid ot devres ylnO\nAnd distort what my readers were readin'!", "id": 25386, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "\"Here, I've brought them to show you,\" said Mabel,\nThrowing hand-knitted socks on the table.\n\"See the part where it's curly,\nAll twisty and twirly?\nMy grandmother calls that a cable.\"", "id": 25387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Your cheeks are both glowing quite red.\nIs it something I shouldn't have said?\nYou're embarrassed, I see,\nOr perhaps it might be\nYou applied too much blusher  instead.", "id": 25388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "While a nice aubergine's roasting through,\nChop garlic, perhaps scallions too.\nThen mash them up nice,\nWith olive oil, spice,\nAnd tehina. Serve pita with goo.", "id": 25389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "There are some birds that sing, others squawk,\nAnd parrots may know how to talk.\nSome whistle,  some crow;\nBut I really don't know\nWhat kind of sound's made by an auk.", "id": 25390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A troubled acquaintance of mine\nUsed to drown all his problems in wine.\nTo his basement he'd go:\nIn a vat of Bordeaux,\nHe deposited  relatives\u2014nine!", "id": 25391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a woodsman who had a\nGreat buckthorn, and felt it was sad a\nDrug his tree produces\nUpsets gastric juices\u2014\nYou'll get runs from cascara sagrada.", "id": 25392, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cannier man you won't find.\nHe's the shrewdest of shrewd to my mind.\nThrough a rotating door,\nIf you walk in before\nHim, for sure you will exit behind.", "id": 25393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Fans of antipsychiatry still\nWould believe the \"insane\" are not ill \u2014\nBut the world doesn't pause\nTo determine the cause\nWhen it's easy to just give a pill.", "id": 25394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Mom handed me needle and thread\nFor hemming (a chore that I dread).\nOvercome with emotion,\nI hit on the notion\nOf bias tape edging instead.", "id": 25395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Saint Catherine's my holy ideal,\nBut she just doesn't heed my appeal.\nMy investments are tottery\nAnd I must win the lottery,\nBut my patron's asleep at the wheel.", "id": 25396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Our last cavalry charge had been beaten.\nIn a rout, it went down in defeat in\nThe Philippines.  Then,\nIn the siege, once again\nHorses came to our aid... they were eaten.", "id": 25397, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Art historians rightly applaud\nCave paintings of horses abroad,\nPre-historically done.\nThen again, there is one\nOf a Chevy that's prob'ly a fraud.", "id": 25398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Apronectomy? Surgeon, begin!\nPlease get rid of this horrible skin\nHanging down in a flap,\nAll the way to my lap,\n'Cos my corset just can't hold it in.", "id": 25399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I work hard for the money I earn,\nFor reward and a bonus I yearn.\nThere'll be such a commotion\nIf I miss my promotion:\nHow I'll gurn if it's Buggins's turn.", "id": 25400, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Cosy bed socks, they'll warm up your feet\nWhen the bedroom is lacking in heat.\nIn a subtle pale blue\nThey may bid sex adieu,\nBut at least you'll look homely and sweet.", "id": 25401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "With his virile and vigorous look\n(Like a hero described in a book),\nThat sweet man I'll ensnare,\nSo he'd better beware;\nI'll seduce him by hook or by crook.", "id": 25402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My advice is \"Do not take to crime\",\nThough for me it's too late because I'm\nJust a felon, I fear,\nAnd that's why I'm here.\nI'm inside, I'm banged up, doing time.", "id": 25403, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It's your barium enema day!\nLie down here on your left, turn this way,\nBend your knees. I'll insert\nThis small tube \u2014 it won't hurt.\nNow I'll X-ray your bowel, if I may?", "id": 25404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Are the pressures of workload increasing?\nAre the needs of your patients unceasing?\nFewer members of staff?\n(Workforce cut by a half.)\nCall in sick, it's quite tension-releasing.", "id": 25405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Did she swipe you with one of her paws?\nGot a wound from those long, lethal claws?\nDo you feel rough as hell?\nSwollen lymph nodes as well?\nCat scratch fever is surely the cause.", "id": 25406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "There's a pathway that can't aim to heal,\nThat gives drugs that will just make him feel\nFree of pain and at peace,\nAs he waits for release:\nThat's the \"care of the dying\" ideal.", "id": 25407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Four roads formed a carfax where I\nStood and wondered, \"Which way?\", with a sigh.\nSo I asked Mr Frost,\nWho was equally lost.\nHe said, \"Take the one least travelled by.\"", "id": 25408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "How they loved it, those pirates of old;\nWhen they supped it, it helped them feel bold;\nMade of sugar and rum,\nThey thought bumbo was yum\u2014\nAs they buried their woes and their gold.", "id": 25409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He approached me and asked me to dance.\nI said, \"Sorry, I have an advance\nCommitment to one\nWho I think is more fun,\nIt's with Col that I'm seeking romance.\"", "id": 25410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Hubert levied a tax on the land\nPloughed by oxen, a team eight-in-hand,\nWorking all through the year.\nThis cost poor peasants dear:\nThey paid carucage tax on demand.", "id": 25411, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Eight strong oxen can plough in a year\nLand of one hundred acres, or near.\nWhen that quota's fulfilled,\nIt's a carucate tilled,\nIf both driver and beasts persevere.", "id": 25412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If you only have one ox, not eight,\nThen there's less food to put on your plate.\nFifteen acres is all\nYou can plough fall-to-fall.\nWith a bovate your ploughing's sedate.", "id": 25413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Will life deal you a hand that is hard?\nCan you tell what's to come, with a card?\nUsing cartomancy, yes.\nThinkers think it's a guess.\nIf it's true, better be on your guard.", "id": 25414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I'd been dumped by the man in my life,\nWho, I'd hoped, planned to make me his wife.\nAsked the cards for good luck,\nBut those cards really suck:\n'Cos the cartomancer saw only strife.", "id": 25415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Hearing snickers and rustling and banter\n(Are we struck by a tenor enchanter?),\nThe master looked 'round\nFor the source of odd sound.\n\"I think there's some whine in de cantor.\"", "id": 25416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "We didn't expect Ken to die.\nIt was sudden, we still don't know why.\nBut some adverse event,\nMaybe cardiac, meant\nThat his friends had no time for \"goodbye\".", "id": 25417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "If a number declares what is what,\nThen the opposite says what is not.\n1's complement runs\nOnes to noughts, noughts to ones.\nClean becomes full of dirt; cold goes hot.", "id": 25418, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Fair Camilla meets all Charlie's needs,\nWith her huntin' and fishin' and tweeds.\nNow a duchess, she may\nBe called \"Queenie\" one day,\nIf the Great British Public concedes.", "id": 25419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Better swab him from chin down to shin,\nIn advance of the knife going in.\nUse that Betadine, nurse,\n'Cos infection is worse\nThan the stain the stuff leaves on the skin.", "id": 25420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Just a miner, but Bevan rose high\nIn the government. Then in July\nOf the year '48,\nInto force came his great\nNHS: health for all, thanks to Nye.", "id": 25421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "At mergers we totally rock:\nWe own every biz on the block.\nOur latest addition\nWe beat to submission\nThrough straight acquisition of stock.", "id": 25422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You won't get an egg from a jackal,\nBut you may, if you find a girl grackle\nIn her nest and you tackle 'er,\nHear the sound of a cackler.\n(That's a hen who says \"oops!\" with a cackle.)", "id": 25423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Wordmatic", "limerick": "Does anyone cable these days\u2014\nWhat with email and texting, both ways\nOf sending words fast\nThrough distances vast\u2014\nWho needs wires in this e-crazy phase?", "id": 25424, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "A gifted researcher named Beth\nIs at work on the answer to death:\nIt's said she's so clever\nWe'll soon live for ever!\nPerhaps. I'm not holding my breath.", "id": 25425, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Raise the sales tax to bring in some dough\nFor equipment to deal with the snow?\nBetter schools?  Cleaner air?\nWider streets?  Bus repair?\nMindless CAVE people always vote \"No!\"", "id": 25426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Robert Altman\u2014he made quite a splash\nHelming smashes like Nashville and M*A*S*H.\nBut he had one huge flop, I\nRecall; that was Popeye.\nIt was what it was\u2014it was trash.", "id": 25427, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "'Twas a crisis: Wahb's ticker was bad,\nSudden surgery the best hope he had.\nTriple bypass was looming\nBut traffic not zooming;\nThe bypass detoured 'round Riyadh.", "id": 25428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The capital goods we amass\nTo produce other goods are a class\nOf possessions, like tools\nAnd machines making stools,\nOr refineries processing gas.", "id": 25429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When your team keeps on losing the puck,\nYou call time in the game, but you're stuck.\nIs this breather a way\nTo regroup\u2014or dismay\nAt the fact that your players all suck?", "id": 25430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "In a gin-house you couldn't be choosy:\nYou'd drink anything, just to get woozy.\nTo disable your legs\nYou'd drink alls, that's the dregs,\nThus ensuring you quickly got boozy.", "id": 25431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He's been gathered, he's late, that's his lot.\nAll his hopes and his dreams gone to pot.\nHe's ad patres: he's now\nWith his fathers. We vow,\nThat with re-runs, he'll not be forgot.", "id": 25432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Taken drugs? Fallen down? Cracked your wrist?\nHad an accident?  Fought when you're pissed?\nFor emergency care\nIt will always be there.\nIf it wasn't, it sure would be missed.", "id": 25433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Daddy said that the teachers were kind\nHere at boarding school. 'Spose I don't mind\nIf the other boys break\nAll my toys that they take.\nMummy cried as she left me behind.", "id": 25434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "It's a veggie I'm fond of, by golly!\nI really enjoy eating cauli-\nflower with cheese\nOr with carrots and peas.\nI hope I can find some in Bali!", "id": 25435, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "You're avidulous, meaning you're greedy,\nBut you hide it with suits that are tweedy.\nThough you're rich as a czar,\nWhat a miser you are!\nYou will not share one cent with the needy.", "id": 25436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Gibberish", "limerick": "As Newton fell earthward, he reckoned\nThe force with which gravity beckoned:\n\"I'm inflating my rate\nBy a flat nine point eight\nMeters per second per second.\"", "id": 25437, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Though the ice hasn't gnawed on us yet,\nLike a hart ringed with wolves, we're beset.\nThere's no way we can go\nThat's not blocked by a floe.\nWe are Resolute; also, dead set.", "id": 25438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The people one meets when one shoots!\nLike the Major, in jodhpurs and boots\u2014\nOn guns, he's a bore\n(Be they twelve, ten or four),\nBut he's worst when discussing his roots...", "id": 25439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "'Tis said doctors and nurses help spread\nDeadly germs as they go bed to bed.\nAntisepsis demands\nThat by washing their hands,\nThey'd cut illness\u2014perhaps fewer dead.", "id": 25440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the bus stops, my husband alights\nFrom the Metrobus car-dwarfing heights;\nWeighted down by computer\nAnd books, this commuter\nI meet at the bus stop most nights.", "id": 25441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The broadcasting schedule was filled,\nSo they ordered my program be killed.\nA cablecast, though,\nMight deliver my show;\nIf they sign it, my fans will be thrilled.", "id": 25442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nick Szymanski", "limerick": "Is carphology hard to define?\nOf high fever it's surely a sign.\nWhen the patient maltreats\nAll his blankets and sheets,\nThen the doctors give up and resign.", "id": 25443, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Her game was to captivate men.\nOnce she lured them, she robbed them \u2014 and then,\nWith one shot to the head,\nShe would render them dead,\nAnd they'd never be heard from again.", "id": 25444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When a boxer steps into the ring,\nHis nerves must be coiled like a spring.\nAt the sound of the bell,\nAs the crowd starts to yell,\nThe fighter gets ready to swing.", "id": 25445, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "This spectacular pot will amaze!\nLet's just hope that the surface won't craze.\nIt has crystals in tangles\nOf sparkles and spangles\u2014\nI've made an aventurine glaze.", "id": 25446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If you want to add something to go\nWith your sentence, but not spoil the flow,\nMake parentheses work;\nGo the whole hog, don't shirk\nWith just commas; use brackets (just so)!", "id": 25447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though our Maginot Line of defense\nWas constructed at major expense,\nIt shows absense of bonsense\u2014\nA surfeit of nonsense\nThat simply defies common sense.", "id": 25448, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An outcome that's certain and sure\nHas a certain appeal and allure.\nSo beyond any doubt,\nThey get conned when you shout,\n\"Your investment's completely secure!\"", "id": 25451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your carton arrived full of rubble, wrapped\nIn newspaper, even though double-wrapped.\nShipping breakable glassware,\nYou're losing your ass, where\nYou shoulda jus' packaged 'em bubble-wrapped.", "id": 25452, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Barbotage: anaesthetic that flows\nBit by bit from your brain to your toes.\nSometimes used by a doc,\nIt's a good spinal block,\nAnd its level depends on your pose.", "id": 25453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "I'm told that  bipolarization\nIs a term for the manifestation\nOf separate poles \u2014\nLike his and her roles \u2014\nOr the old and the young generation.", "id": 25454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "It's a marvellous gun, I must say.\nI see I've impressed you today.\nBut it's loaded. Beware!\nYou had better take care\nOr in both ways you'll be blown away.", "id": 25455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "\"An ailurophobe \u2014 ugh,\" my cats purr.\n\"Your new girlfriend is worried our fur\nWill cause wheezes and hacks\nAnd allergic attacks,\nSo you shan't cast us Persians on her.\"", "id": 25456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "When it's carnival time in Brazil,\nThey indulge all their urges until\nThoughts of Lenten abstaining\nLeave no one complaining \u2014\nCome Easter, they're hungover still!", "id": 25457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Action Item 19: Set a date\nFor the council's next meeting. Oh, great:\nWe can't find one until\nThe mayor's back from Brazil...\nItem 20: Just chill while we wait.", "id": 25458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "When distilling for absolute oil\nThere is no need for drilling in soil.\nIt's essential, you see,\nFor the oil to flow free\u2014\nFrom the concrete where molecules coil.", "id": 25459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In our church, we'd a tenor-voiced beadle,\nWho'd sing\u2014more precisely, would tweedle.\nIn his backside we stuck a\nStiff leaf from a yucca;\nTo shush him, we used Adam's needle.", "id": 25460, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The duchess was in her caroche\nWhen she screamed, \"Get me out! There's a roach!\"\nThen she fainted away\nAnd came to the next day.\nThat caroche is no longer her coach.", "id": 25461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amyrose", "limerick": "From cupcake to teacup to ceiling,\nInanimate objects have feeling.\nIt's called animism,\nWhen you pick up a prism\nAnd it tells you it finds you appealing.", "id": 25462, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The lone beachcomber walked 'long the shore.\nHe'd been hunting for treasures galore:\nNo driftwood, no shells...\nBut the sights! And the smells!\nHomeward bound, just the memories he bore.", "id": 25463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "\"I tell you it's simply not true.\nThere's no ghost here; it's just me and you.\"\nThe poor fool is naive,\nIf he doesn't believe,\nSo I'll scare him to death with a \"Boo!\"", "id": 25464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There once was a reindeer called Comet\nWho wasn't successful\u2014far from it!\nThough confections were banned, he\nWould eat all the candy:\nDown every third chimney, he'd vomit.", "id": 25465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A pastry base \u2014 that's the first part\nWhen preparing a fine Bakewell tart.\nThen you need almond cake,\nAdd some jam, and you'll bake\nYour way to an Englishman's heart.", "id": 25466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My exorcist's task was infernal\u2014\nHow to rescue my spirit eternal?\nFor the devils were strong!\nYet, he cast out the throng\nBy reciting the whole Wall Street Journal.", "id": 25467, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "It was quite a nostalgic delight\nAs they played CCR half the night:\nSongs like \"Who'll Stop Lorraine?\"\nAnd that puzzling refrain\nThat goes, \"Theeeeeere's a bath room on the right.\"", "id": 25468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A besom's a brush or a broom\nFor sweeping the floor of the room,\nMade from bundles of sticks,\nTo which you affix\nA handle \u2014 to grip, I presume.", "id": 25469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The soldier was doughty and mighty,\nBut, oh, how he longed for old Blighty.\nYet his posting in France\nAt least offered romance,\nWith the sight of a Mademoiselle's nightie.", "id": 25470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "\"Anecdotically\", ranted my aunt,\n\"At college, I had a good grant,\nBut in no way I learned\nHow money is earned.\nTherefore tell you? I honestly can't.\"", "id": 25471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "\"Help me Doctor, won't you hear my plea?\nI'm convinced I'm two biscuits, you see,\nThat go nicely with cheese.\nCan you diagnose, please?\"\n\"Yes, you're crackers, and ten quid's the fee!\"", "id": 25472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Dear Sir, the most blatant intent\nOf your journal's political bent\nTo annoy \u2014 don't deny it \u2014\nMeans I'll no longer buy it!\nYours truly, Disgusted of Kent.\t", "id": 25473, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "When he acts like he's strappin' his Colt on,\nHe's a bellicose fool and a dolt on\nHow we should get along;\nFor this job he was wrong\nAnd I'm glad from his post he'll be Bolton!", "id": 25474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "See how slowly the stretch limo drags\nWith its cargo of drunk, dolled-up hags.\nThey are out on a hen night\n(A leer-at-the-men night)\nIn a pink-painted \"bucket-o-slags\".", "id": 25475, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The bouquets and brickbats received\nFrom the critics should not be believed.\n'Cut flowers' and 'rubble'\nFrom mouths all a-bubble\nJust hype or deny what's achieved.", "id": 25476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I'm a sitting duck, sad to report:\nI am easily shot at for sport.\nBut by me, no one's harmed\n(I am winged and not armed) \u2014\nI'm an anodyne, anatine sort.", "id": 25477, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The asylum is suffering cuts;\nNow it's opened its gates, so that gluts\nOf rich tourists may pay\nTo walk round for the day.\nThere's a warning sign: \"May contain nuts\".", "id": 25478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and Chris Young", "limerick": "My grandma's a knickknack collector,\nA trinket and tchotchke detector;\nBut she likes them for free. Below\nCoats go the bibelots.\nShe shoplifts, though none will suspect her.", "id": 25480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Your trendy display is belated.\nOur appetites all have been sated.\nThe season has passed;\nThe mood did not last.\nThe styles that you mimic have dated.", "id": 25481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A co-worker loaned me his watch.\nMy esteem in his eyes slipped a notch\nWhen I dropped it in ink,\nCausing just what you'd think:\nAn irregular stain, or a blotch.", "id": 25482, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An applecart? Listen, my pet:\nIt's the thing you don't want to upset.\nIn an old-fashioned market,\nYou'll see someone park it.\nA portable fruit-stand? You bet!", "id": 25483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A bookish young man fits the mold,\nWe are stereotypically told,\nBy reading alone,\nEschewing the phone,\nAnd attesting that sports leave him cold.", "id": 25484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Decisions are trouble for me.\nI make them ambivalently.\nChoose apple? Or peach?\nThe merits of each\nCan strike me equivalently.", "id": 25485, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I'm ahoight 'cos you tell me you care.\nFeeling great, I am walking on air.\nOn my face is a smirk,\nAnd I hum while I work\u2014\nI'm just loving this secret affair.", "id": 25486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He's a burglar, a thief in the night.\nHe's a scoundrel, a badmash, who might\nHave a knife in his pocket,\nAnd he's after your locket;\nIf you catch him, he'll put up a fight.", "id": 25487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Carpet bombing is not bombing rugs,\nAnd it's not just like stepping on bugs.\nLots of people are dying\nWhen bombers are flying.\nThose who do it are murderous thugs.", "id": 25488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Were you there when they scattered and flew?\nAren't you scared you'll catch avian flu?\nIf you handled that chick,\nYou could end up so sick\nAll your plans would go right up the flue.", "id": 25489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When you're trolling for carp, don't complain\nIf the fish are not biting. Refrain\nFrom all carping and whining;\nThe day's bright and shining.\nCarpe diem \u2014 break out the champagne.", "id": 25490, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "As I scoop up my ninth canap\u00e9,\nYou endeavor to steer me away.\nI'm a threat to hors d'oeuvres,\nAnd you have no reserves.\nBut I doubt you can keep me at bay.", "id": 25491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I went to a cakewalk to take\nSome steps, just to see if I'd make\nAn acceptable chance\nAt the cakewalker's dance,\nAnd I easily won! Piece of cake!", "id": 25493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The bubbles had all gone away,\n'Cause my bathtub was leaking that day.\nSo I went down to buy\n(After I had got dry)\nSome more caulking so water would stay.", "id": 25494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Although males come equipped with two balls,\nThere are men who ain't ballsy at all.\nFolks with guts are quite rare,\nAnd they don't need a pair.\nIn fact, some gals are brimming with gall.", "id": 25495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The calligrapher gained his renown\nAnd he turned his whole trade upside down\nWith a fancy new script\nAt which somebody quipped,\n\"Seems we've got a new serif in town!\"", "id": 25496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Don't you misunderestimate Don.\nHis works will endure, though he's gone.\nThere is no going back\nTo undo, in Iraq,\nThe Hell he helped make. Death goes on.", "id": 25497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "There once was an agent, quite tough,\nWho cut all his deals in the buff.\nWhen his clients asked why,\nHe would give this reply:\n\"When I'm nude, no one dares give me guff.\"", "id": 25498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "From the Hindi \"to dwell\", the word bustee\nMeans a village (or slum, bleak and dusty)\u2014\nNot a place that is swimmin'\nIn shapely young women.\nHere if lost, hope your Hindi's not rusty.", "id": 25499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "It was fast, such a frightening surprise,\nAs I saw the ball suddenly rise.\nSo I ducked to the floor.\nIt continued to soar\nPast the 'keeper's head. We won on byes.", "id": 25502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "You're ambitious? Is that what you say?\nWell, then make events happen your way.\nMost just watch things unfold,\nWhile a few, not as bold,\nSimply wonder what happened today.", "id": 25503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Yes, we do define words like bosthoon,\nSo our work is becoming a boon\nTo all word-lovers who\nSeek for answers, like you:\nHe's an ignorant, tactless buffoon.", "id": 25507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Something filled to the brim has a link\nTo a hat with a brim, I would think.\nI say this because\nWe often find straws\nIn a brimmer we wear or we drink.", "id": 25508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Have you ever sighed softly, \"I care\",\nOr's it only your love you declare?\nThough \"I love you\" is dandy,\nIt's sometimes just randy.\nTrue caring is precious (and rare).", "id": 25509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "Though it mightn't sound quite realistic,\nMy philosophy's basic, simplistic.\nMagic solvents? And gold?\nAn elixir? I'm sold!\nMy ambitions and aims: alchemistic.", "id": 25510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Some doctors of dubious doing\nRoutinely have patients who're suing.\nThe few who aren't plaintiffs\nCan't pay to maintain tiffs,\nBut do sit in court loudly booing.", "id": 25512, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "The word callow, because of its -allow,\nReminds us of sallow and shallow,\nYet its meaning's not bad,\nAnd might label a lad\nWho's impressed less by girls than marshmallow.", "id": 25513, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "As vacations go, this is the worst.\nWe are lost and are dying of thirst.\nBut I'll soon have relief,\nSince the cannibal chief\nSaid he'd eat up my nagging wife first.", "id": 25514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A brave witness of Holy Jehovah\nOnce waved on the A2 near Dovah\nHis odd little tracts that\nGot shredded. The fact's that\nJehovah forgot to shout, \"Rovah!\"", "id": 25515, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bits of biga (say BEEG-uh) are eager\nTo act as a starter. Though meagre,\nThis yesterday's dough,\nGood Italian wives know,\nHelps today's become, shall we say, biga.", "id": 25516, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Under shells of a turtle is where\nYou'll find gel-like and delicate fare.\nAbove, see a cache\nOf dull-green calipash\nAnd below, yellow calipee's there.", "id": 25517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Kim Jong-iI isn't \u2014 not by a mile \u2014\nNor Iran's spitting Mahmoud (pure bile),\nWhereas I offer thanks\nFor those wonderful Yanks,\nBecause I'm an Americophile.", "id": 25518, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Ahimsa's a doctrine apart \u2014\nA belief based on goodness of heart.\nRead it backward (ASMIHA),\nYou'll be an agreer:\nIndonesian doctors are smart.", "id": 25519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "Adirondacks are bare wooden chairs\nNamed for mountains, where scions and heirs\nOf the New York elite\nCome each summer to meet,\nAmong blueberries, birches and bears.", "id": 25520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I'm collecting a sizeable mass\nOf vases of Carnival glass.\nI'd hitchhike to Trenton\nTo pick up a Fenton\u2014\nThis dope glass, you bozo, has class.", "id": 25521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Reynolds", "limerick": "An angel with halo and wings'll be\nAs hapless as golden harp strings'll be\nIn convincing the choir\nThat second-hand wire\nCan clue what true heavenly blings'll be.", "id": 25522, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Reynolds", "limerick": "I offer this riddle with pride.  \"Oh,\nPlease answer, Aeneas or Dido:\nWhy'd the slow armadiddle\nJust get to the middle\nAnd not to the opposite side-o?\"", "id": 25523, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Reynolds", "limerick": "If you're looking for that which can ale you,\nSomething stout without doubt can regale you.\nThe surmise of the cops\nThat you're subject to hops\nDoesn't have to be something to jail you.", "id": 25524, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Electrolysis process for brine\nGives you chlorine and soda ash.  Fine,\nBut titanium's pricey\nAnd mercury's dicey\u2014\nCastner-Kellner's no pushover line.", "id": 25525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Carbocyclic refers to a ring\nThat's organic, where carbon's the thing\nIt's comprised of, to wit:\nThere are atoms that sit\nIn a loop or a circle and cling.", "id": 25526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A blunderkin's someone inept,\nLike the lumbering doofus who stepped\nOn my foot on the bus\nAnd, on hearing me cuss,\nProved at punching extremely adept.", "id": 25527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Stern rebuke: carbon crisis reviewed.\nIf we fail to take action, as cued\nBy this desperate warning,\nThe warming that's dawning\nMeans famine and floods; then we're screwed.", "id": 25528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "Though the Test Match turned quite catastrophic,\nMy cab-driver's still philosophic:\n\"Guv, this series Dahn Under\nHas now made me wonder\nWhen you need 'im, where's Marcus Trescoffick?\"", "id": 25529, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "Most knots are revered for their function\nAnd a steadfast, rock-solid main junction.\nBut the bowknot is tops\nAmong dandies and fops,\nAnd it's worn without any compunction.", "id": 25530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "Though the general longed for perfection,\nHis orders required such correction\nHis poor aide-de-camp\nHad to fight writer's cramp\nTo rewrite each and every direction.", "id": 25531, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "With his affable blandness and glasses,\nAlbert Campion's 'blank' often passes\nFor 'vacuous twit',\nThough his sharp, sleuthing wit\nUndoes crime in the bright upper classes.", "id": 25532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Watch this ogreish witch scar the sky\nIn her black, iron pot \u2014 see her fly!\nSee her sweep her path clean\nAs she hides where she's been.\nBaba Yaga, the child-eater's nigh.", "id": 25533, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "A dirt track felt callous, cold hate,\nSo a shrink checked its cognitive state.\n\"You are sick in the head,\"\nThe psychiatrist said.\n\"You're a dangerous cycle path, mate!\"", "id": 25534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "In my fury, I carelessly choose\nPurveyors of death to abuse.\nThese monsters I slang\nNow behead, blast, and hang\nGuys like me on the ten o'clock news.", "id": 25535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Well, for some the famed Blarney Stone works:\nIt appears now that one of the perks\nFor the Castle's slick staff\nIs to kiss it and laugh\nAs their eloquence packs in the jerks.", "id": 25536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "They're a sorry old lot. When I quiz\nOne old sixties-style beatnik on his\nGeneration (which he\nSays was beat), he says, \"We\nWere unique, just like everyone is.\"", "id": 25537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "It has rained cats and dogs. Okay, fine,\nBut can carp (yes, that's us) safely dine\nOn this flea-bitten food?\nIf you think carping's rude,\nWe shall stop (if you drop us a line).", "id": 25539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "The senator used camouflagic\nBehavior for masking the logic\nThat just wasn't there.\nHe even would dare\nTo call honest dissent demagogic.", "id": 25540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Folks who hate them should try to be fair,\nFor our builders of bombs now take care\nTo avoid harmful stuff,\nSuch as lead, which is rough\nOn the health of kids blown in the air.", "id": 25541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "An active cell shows on the screen\nIn a spreadsheet.  A border is seen,\nWhich highlights the cell\nFor numbers as well\nAs for formulas; adding's routine.", "id": 25543, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Barber", "limerick": "She held out her hand and I kissed it,\nThen she flirted with me, but I missed it.\nWhen she angrily left,\nI felt most bereft!\nSo I checked, but her number's unlisted.", "id": 25544, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"We should quit, you say, quiet and quick,\nAnd redundancy bonuses pick?\nWell, we've all been attentive;\nWe've heard your 'incentive';\nAnd now, take your carrot, and stick!\"", "id": 25545, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Wounded knee while in Nice?  Quel dommage!\nNo French dressing's applied post-triage;\nThere the talking cure's best \u2014\nFlirty nurses will jest\nWhile applying a fresh badinage.", "id": 25546, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "To some sweet secrets, I am the key-holder:\nThere's a hedgerow where (don't tell the freeholder!)\nThe wild honey I like\nFills a swarm-guarded byke \u2014\nBooty lies in the \"eye\" of the bee-holder.", "id": 25547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A confirmed vegetarian, I\nMust acknowledge that boerewors (sigh)\nUsed to smell and taste good,\nAs spiced sausages should,\nAt an Afrikaans barbecue (braai).", "id": 25548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When the Reverend Archibald Pigeon\nWas eaten by natives, no smidgen\nOf Christ touched those brutes\nWho consumed him sans boots,\nYet they did get a taste for religion.", "id": 25549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "This word is itself a catastrophe,\nFor kids often fluff the (alas) -trophe.\nSome say \"strofe\" after \"catta\",\nAnd some suspect that a\nCatastrophe's just a cat's ass trophy.", "id": 25550, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "One event's an essential foundation\nFor another one's realization:\nThose events would connect\nAs a cause and effect\u2014\nTheir relationship's one of causation.", "id": 25551, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That catgut might rightly belong\nWhere you're needing a string to be strong.\nWhen you put your request in\nFor twisted intestine,\nYour suturing never goes wrong.", "id": 25552, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A curse on Miss World and Miss Universe,\nThose prissified babes who would sooner verse\nTheir fans in world peace\nThan get drunk on cassis,\nFor behaviour like theirs can maroon a verse!", "id": 25553, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The bibliobibuli read\nWith such gusto, attention, and speed\nThat they're way out of touch\nWith the world\u2014knowing much\nAbout stuff that they don't really need.", "id": 25554, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Barber and Matt Barber", "limerick": "The genes of the pale Anglo Saxon\nGive features like hair that is flaxen,\nA nose that is spare,\nAnd skin that is fair.\n(For example, check out Michael Jackson.)", "id": 25555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Barber and Dave Barber", "limerick": "An astronaut must avoid carelessness,\nSince space is a void of vast airlessness.\nTo maintain protection,\nAt NASA's direction\nThe guys all wear suits known for tear-lessness.", "id": 25556, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "On the Care of the Elderly Ward,\nPatients sit, feeling lonely and bored.\nThough the staff do their best,\nThey're outnumbered and stressed,\nSo the old are, too often, ignored.", "id": 25557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "O mother, please don't be distressed,\nFor your baby's young life is still blest.\nYes, the medics have said\nRising blood cell count (red)\nMeans an op won't be needed, just rest.", "id": 25558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Cataglottism? Simply divine,\nWhen we kiss and our tongues intertwine.\nThough with you I'm obsessed,\nIt's my cat I love best;\nBut do that to my cat? I decline!", "id": 25559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "This tidbit might come as a shocker:\nThere isn't a real Betty Crocker!\nYet in print, on the air,\nOn the shelf\u2014she's right there;\nIf you care about food, you won't mock her.", "id": 25560, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Some say it's a drug, a disease:\nThe bastarda held tight twixt my knees.\nBut I happily play\nThis small viol all day,\nAnd all through the night, if I please.", "id": 25561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The Aymara people must think\nThat the Spanish and Portuguese stink\u2014\nTo come over the waves,\nTake their gold, make them slaves,\nAnd then poison their brains with strong drink.", "id": 25562, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "The Bible's a choice compilation\nOf tales for our edification.\nOur lessons begin\nWith original sin,\nAnd progress to eternal damnation.", "id": 25563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "An anaphroditic direction\nTo bearing one's young seems perfection\nTo a pol who would ban\nLove of woman and man\u2014\nI don't give him much hope of election.", "id": 25564, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The meek and the righteous are blessed,\nThey who mourn, who are pure, and oppressed,\nThey who seek to make peace:\nMay your joy never cease.\nLike the salt of the earth, you're the best.", "id": 25565, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Well, I'm nervous, for one. I don't know\u2014\nI'm also, I think, feeling low.\nYou say what? Barythymia?\nWell...can you gimme a\nPill\u2014say twelve dozen or so?", "id": 25566, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The sun has its day in the sun\nEvery day, but each day has to run.\nSo\u2014actum ut supra\u2014\nIt loops the old loop. Ra-\nther boring above, but it's done.", "id": 25567, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Premiering, the movie star said,\n\"Yes, I love being naked in bed!\nAnd these are my real boobs,\nNow I'll wave at the rubes!\"\nShe's an airhead but makes lots of bread.", "id": 25568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Angel wings don't just help cherubs fly;\nMany plants with that name please the eye.\nBut alas for a bird,\nIf that defect occurred\nIt could never fly into the sky.", "id": 25570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "I waited outside for my friend . . .\nNot just late; didn't show.  In the end\nI missed the whole play.\n'Twas Godot (funny, eh?),\nBut I got Beckett's point, I'd contend.", "id": 25571, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Callipygian people reveal\nRounded rears, shapely butts; they're ideal.\nOthers try toning glutes,\nBut they'll never have beauts.\nBottom line: they lack J. Lo's appeal.", "id": 25572, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Don't think that you're apt to elope\nWith a bachelor whose buttons mean \"hope.\"\nHis flowers' fringed edges\nMean, too, he alleges,\nHe's \"blessedly single\"\u2014so cope.", "id": 25573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Bright gaillardia blankets the ground;\nIn most states, its wild blooms are still found\nIn wide fields in the sun,\nForming seedheads when done.\nDon't you see blanket flower? Look round!", "id": 25575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "There's a loophole in USA law\nThat, exploited, rubs some people raw.\nBirth tourists all try\nTo give birth here, and why?\nEach baby will anchor its ma.", "id": 25578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke and Aliza", "limerick": "The plane that delivered the A-\nBomb, Enola \"B-29\" Gay,\nWas a partner in crime\nFor that fateful first time\nWhen so many were killed in that way.", "id": 25579, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The new butene (amino) drugs lack\nThe stigma of morphine or smack.\nThey conquer the pain\nWithout bringing the bane\nOf addiction that opiates pack.", "id": 25580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brent Annable", "limerick": "I'm bespectacled, sneaky and sly,\nFor suspended in front of each eye,\nThere's a lens held in place\nBy a frame on my face\nWhich assists me to see (and to spy).", "id": 25581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "While their twins were at work on new hutches,\nA kindly lame vet helped the Gutches.\nAs he healed fluffy bunnies,\nThe cute little honeys\nTook saws to his fine wooden crutches.", "id": 25582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Desert island?  If that's where I'd landed,\nI'm sure I would still be there, stranded.\nMy boat-building skill\nIs essentially nil;\nI'm clumsy, inept; I'm cack-handed.", "id": 25583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I feel sad\u2014overcome by futility.\nThough you argued my case with agility,\nThe judge's decision\nBrought shame and derision.\nI hope that it's got appealability!", "id": 25584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "She was sick and confined to her bed.\n\"Go and fetch me my bloomers!\" she said.\nThough it might have caused snickers,\nShe should have said \"knickers\".\nWhat a bloomer! He came back with bread.", "id": 25585, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "\"Bat better!\" brawled Betty Bart's brat,\nBut Bertie broke brattie's best bat.\nBen Bauer bowled best\nBy Betty's behest \u2014\nBoth beaten by Billy-Bob Blatt.", "id": 25586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I arrive in Brazil.  I am broke; a\nGuy in Rio\u2014he offers a smoke, a\nFew r\u00e9is, advice:\nOn the beach you'll find nice\nWealthy ladies. A true Carioca!", "id": 25587, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "An affable archer-at-arms\nAte apples, awaiting alarms.\nAs attacks, all archaic,\nAren't apotropaic,\nAny armistice aids ailing alms.", "id": 25588, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "I tune in for those things I adore:\nWoman's Hour, The Archers, and more,\nThe Afternoon Play.\nHow empty, a day\nWithout BBC Radio 4!", "id": 25589, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Her appearance took all by surprise,\nFor her hair had succumbed to some dyes.\nHer lush tresses, once red,\nWere now turquoise instead.\nSay goodbye to that Westminster prize!", "id": 25590, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "In the midst of the hurricane's eye\nI saw marvelous things in the sky.\nWith a terrified glance\nI observed a barn dance,\nGarage sail, and, at last, a house fly.", "id": 25591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"You're bourgeois,\" says my daughter the joker,\n\"You're obsessed with the buck, mediocre,\nMiddle-class, unrefined,\nWith a shopkeeper's mind!\"\n(I prefer the term real estate broker.)", "id": 25592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Go ahead\u2014say I'm just an old kvetch.\nWhen you grab your dog's neck and you stretch,\nYou're a caitiff! You're bad!\nAnd you make me so mad!\nYou're a nasty, despicable wretch!", "id": 25595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Do I shuffle and frown? Au contraire!\nI'm as footloose as Freddy Astaire.\nI could aerobate, and\n(If you don't understand)\nI'm referring to walking on air.", "id": 25596, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "They apply heated wax that looks filmy,\nRip it off, make me shriek, and then bill me.\nThey'll cause my biolysis\u2014\nWax, electrolysis,\nTweezing and shaving will kill me!", "id": 25597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In Brazil, when the Portuguese came,\nThey encountered a snake with the name\nOf boyuna. Anon,\nWhen they came to Ceylon,\nThey called Ceylonese serpents the same.", "id": 25598, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Hail Caesar! You've rather perplexed us\nWith your name for the \"leap day\": bissextus.\nSome are asking, unnerved,\nHow the day is observed;\nThey suspect a perversus subtextus.", "id": 25599, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As you value my counsel the most,\nI'd advise you to head for the coast.\nIf we stay here instead,\nI'll be losing my head,\nAnd your heinie, Your Highness, is toast!", "id": 25600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "For the loved ones now gone\u2014yours and mine\u2014\nAnd the friends that we've lost, we repine.\nLet us lift our champagne\nAnd sing out a refrain\nOf that bittersweet song, \"Auld Lang Syne.\"", "id": 25601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Part wagon and part SUV,\nIt's the Subaru Outback! Marie,\nWith her quite active lifestyle\nAnd soccer-mom wife-style,\nJust backed hers right into a tree.", "id": 25602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "To a bricklayer, making a cut\nAsks precision and craftsmanship. But...\nIf he carries his bolsters\nIn monogrammed holsters,\nThe other guys call him a nut.", "id": 25603, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "As a pacifist, I will resist\nEvery ham-handed typesetter's fist.\nList items, unnumbered,\nRemain unencumbered\nBy bullets. They shouldn't exist!", "id": 25604, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "A Canadian gymnast named Ray\nSet the record for cartwheels last May.\nHe began his maneuver\nIn midtown Vancouver\nAnd ended in Newfoundland Bay.", "id": 25605, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I'm convinced arranged marriage is hell,\nFor my fat, toothless bride is no belle.\nSince I fried Dad's PC,\nHe brought zit-face to me\nAnd said, \"Dude, you are getting Adele!\"", "id": 25606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The original catch-22:\nTo avoid any combat, then you\nMust prove that you're crazy,\nBut here it gets hazy:\nYou're sane if a war's no-can-do.", "id": 25607, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The cannibal, starved, said, \"Can't find\nThe first course of my dinner\u2014I'm blind.\"\nSo I brought soup du jour.\nHe purred, \"Thanks, but be sure\nTo serve yourself first; I won't mind.\"", "id": 25608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "He beseeched her and begged her to stay.\nShe implored him, \"Oh please\u2014not today.\nAll your plaints come to naught,\nFor last night I besought\nMy admirer to whisk me away.\"", "id": 25609, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I bet all of my chips on this hand;\nAll-or-nothing is it, my last stand!\nHere's the deal\u2014heart on hold,\nEyes shut tight, hands ice-cold\u2014\nMy royal flush broke the bank! Ain't life grand!", "id": 25610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My dame-dating sister, called Sam,\nHas been pestered for grandkids by mam.\nSo she's dressed up her dogs\nIn some old baby togs\nAnd she pushes them round in a pram.", "id": 25611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "Some strange folks get a kick out of pain;\nIf it hurts, they'll just do it again.\nFor them, such abuse\nIs a way to let loose.\nTheir own pain turns them on like cocaine.", "id": 25612, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Would the acid (carbamic) be missed?\nHere's its name on our glossary list,\nBut the stuff's hypothetical\n(Yes, I mean theoretical):\nJust its salts and its esters exist.", "id": 25613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "He cagily plans his deception;\nHis arrogance mars his perception.\nHis verbal pollution\nInvites retribution,\nAnd voters are taking exception.", "id": 25614, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When deciders (in line with the truth)\nAnd causers (decidedly couth)\nAre allied, then a pride\nOf young lions beside\nFrisky lambkins will sunbathe, forsooth!", "id": 25615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A sea specked with islands once came\u2014\nAs the mountain range on 'em\u2014to fame,\nLike a capital of state,\nTo be named, what a fate,\nAfter Otto von\u2026?, von What's-his-name.", "id": 25616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "From an iceberg a piece (less than half)\nOr the back of one's shank\u2014do not laugh\u2014\nOr an islet not far\nFrom an island: these are\u2014\nLike a bovine-born baby\u2014called calf.", "id": 25617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Das Kraut is a veggie, the cabbage;\nIt's grown and then gathered by \"grabbage.\"\nA \"Kraut\" is a German,\nAs Kohl (Helmut, Herman?)\nOr Zuse, the \"Krautish\" Charles Babbage?", "id": 25618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "My urologist wanted to know\nIf there's cancer in me which might grow.\nHave my cells become strangers\nNow causing me dangers?\nThe samples\u2014from bx\u2014will show!", "id": 25619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Calling brethren your own brothers german\nDoesn't mean that you're therewith confirmin'\nThey're Germans. Oh, no!\nThis is only to show\nThey're full brothers, both Harold and Herman.", "id": 25620, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "\"I'm the Czar, and I've just shot a stag!\nI've got rubies and gold in this bag!\"\nDon't believe this mendacity.\nHe's short on veracity.\nHe's given to blague\u2014likes to brag.", "id": 25621, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Since my pain's grown too powerful, drug me;\nBring my loved ones all in here to hug me;\nTell the doctors to go;\nTurn the lights way down low;\nSay you love me again\u2014then unplug me.", "id": 25623, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Though it seemed I was thick-skinned (a bear)\nWhen my niece asked to go to the fair,\nI'd have felt more avuncular\nIf I wasn't carbuncular\nAnd my arse wasn't glued to this chair.", "id": 25624, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Boston crab is our special tonight.\nChef Malenko, who loves a good fight,\nThrows you down on your gut,\nTakes a seat on your butt,\nAnd pulls up on your legs 'til they're tight.", "id": 25625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I hang Mary Cassatts in my flat,\nBy America's famous ex-pat.\nShe could paint works of art\nThat would touch any heart\u2014\nLike that pretty young mom and her brat.", "id": 25626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Common wine sold in gallons won't last,\nMight turn sour, a vinegar blast.\nI'd whine in defeat if I\nLet mine acetify,\nSo I drink up each bottle real fast.", "id": 25627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "The hillbilly blurted, \"Oo-ee!\nThe cars they got now you should see.\nI hear there's Toyotas\nThat even take photas\u2014\nThe Camry; yeah, that's what it be.\"", "id": 25628, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Where there's first, skin is tender and red,\nAnd where second, the blisters will spread,\nBut a third-degree burn\nCauses fear and concern:\nYou are charred, and a part of you's dead.", "id": 25629, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "You're officious; of that, there's no doubt \u2014\nAn insensitive, meddlesome lout.\nIt's my business alone.\nHey, jerk! Mind your own!\nButtinsky, you'd better butt out!", "id": 25630, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "To blaw, you force air out just so.\nThrough your mouth or your nose it must go.\nIf you're Scottish, or from\nNorthern England, well, chum,\nYou might say this instead of just blow.", "id": 25631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "With affile's definition I grapple.\nIt's not clear, so I fear that some chap'll\nSay I need to explain;\nDoes \"to polish\" pertain\nTo a gem, wood, nails, shoes, or an apple?", "id": 25632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "\"Yes, this caviar's great \u2014 even so,\nMr. Steinbeck, I'm sure you must know\nSome gets spoiled before packing\nOr found somehow lacking;\nIt can't all be cannery roe.\"", "id": 25633, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Little Junior's a finicky kid,\nSo we keep foods' identities hid\nWith deception and games\nAnd exotic-type names;\nCalamari sounds better than squid.", "id": 25634, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "We shared many a tale and a laugh\nTill we'd emptied our seventh carafe.\nNow we're feeling chagrined;\nYou're three sheets to the wind,\nAnd I'm something like twelve and a half.", "id": 25635, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "There's a vegan who lives in Bohemia\nWith a butternut-squash-based bulimia.\nAs he empties each porringer,\nLook \u2014 he turns oranger!\nSeems he's got carotenemia!", "id": 25636, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "My girlfriend's home cooking, no doubt,\nAin't the stuff to write verses about.\nNow she plans cacciatore\nFor sparking amore?\nPerhaps I'll just caccia bite out.", "id": 25637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "My biochem prof kept reminding:\n\"What protein is calcium-binding\nAnd aids the contraction\nOf muscles in action?\nCalmodulin's what I am finding.\"", "id": 25638, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Carry On, oh camp comics, I say!\nLike Charles Hawtrey, supreme in his day;\nKenneth Williams and team;\nFrankie Howerd\u2014a scream!\nUp the Jungle!  Up Yours!  Up Pompeii!", "id": 25639, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a young fellow of Putney\nWho would eat only lentils and chutney.\nHe drove off in his car\nTo Patnar in Bihar,\nWhere he died of unspeakable glutney.", "id": 25640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Street musicians who plan to embark\nOn a gig out in Yellowstone Park\nWould be prudent to busk\nStarting just after dusk,\nSince the wildlife comes out after dark.", "id": 25641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A friend of mine, Frederick Harris,\nIs studying business at Ferris.\nThough there's little renown,\nHe thinks well of his town:\n\"Heck, Big Rapids is bigger than Paris!\"", "id": 25642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If your muscles are having a spasm,\nOr your stitched wound was wide as a chasm,\nA poultice will heal\nAll the pain that you feel:\nWhat you need is a warm cataplasm.", "id": 25643, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "When my father was just a young boy,\nA pet fawn was his pride and great joy.\nThe fawn's mother had left\u2014\nThat cade deer was bereft\n'Til becoming my daddy's best toy.", "id": 25644, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Cabretta is used to make gloves\nAnd wallets and shoes my mom loves.\nMade from sheep that have hair\n(There's no wool growing there);\nIn sale lines, mom pushes and shoves!", "id": 25645, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My bedcovering keeps me so warm,\nBoth at home and in my college dorm.\nOn a cold wintry night,\nWhen the snow's deep and white,\nI can snuggle in, safe from the storm.", "id": 25646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If you're lacking nerve tissues (gray matter),\nOr of nerve centers you've just a smatter,\nAganglionic you are\nAnd you mustn't move far\nOr you'll fall to the ground with a clatter.", "id": 25647, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "We hope Winter has broken his back,\nBut he smites us with Candlemas crack.\nFrom the cross-quarter days\nTil the spring's warming rays,\nIt's a blustering, frigid attack.", "id": 25648, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "From a carbon star, cinders will blow,\nAnd the photosphere's ruby-red glow\nIn my spectrograph scans\nShows molecular bands:\nThey are Swan's, in a fleeting tableau.", "id": 25649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The Empress, a witch, had been fakin',\nSo the apples she'd poisoned were taken.\nSince that night, in her keep,\nLies Snow White, fast asleep,\nFar too deep for a kiss to awaken.", "id": 25650, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When crystals are grown on occasion,\nOf a clear monoclinic persuasion,\nYou'll find space group C2\n(C21 if they screw)\nWhen they've added a half-half translation.", "id": 25651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On the planet of Betelgeuse Prime,\nAstrophysicists scribble in rhyme;\nThey perversely insist\nMatter doesn't exist\nBetween each discrete quantum of time.", "id": 25652, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "The economists' pleas have been heeded\nThat accounting in period's needed\nIn uniform sizes\nSo there won't be surprises,\nAnd that forecasts aren't falsely exceeded.", "id": 25653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Why don't you be more masculine, Dave?\nRough and ruggedly's how to behave.\nMake your woman your slave, man,\nAnd act like a caveman.\nBut you?  She demands and you cave!\"", "id": 25654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When I take this confection and plunge\nIn hot water, it just turns to gunge.\nThe nibbed sugar, mixed peel,\nDough and vine fruits congeal.\nNo, a Bath bun's no match for a sponge.", "id": 25655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "There was a young fellow from Limerick,\nWho said to a cross-channel swimmer, \"Ich\nBin Irlander. Du?\"\n\"Qu'est-ce tu dis? Tu es fou?\"\n(Yes, his German appearance was chim\u00e9rique.)", "id": 25656, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "I checked what additament meant,\nBut found no additaments lent.\nThough for more I was wishin',\n\"Something added; addition\"\nWas as far as additament went.", "id": 25657, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Calorimeters measure the heat\nGiven off by the egg that you eat.\nDo you think it's one joule?\nThen you're either a fool,\nOr your snack's a room temperature treat.", "id": 25659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "When we meet Comrade Stalin, our host,\nWe compete: who can flatter him most?\nFor we hope what is said\nWill convey how we're bred,\nAnd might stop him from making us toast.", "id": 25660, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Uncle Jock is carnaptious; he's like\nA great piledriver hitting a spike.\nHis temper is quick\nAs a conjurer's trick,\nAnd you never know when he will strike.", "id": 25661, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"To Capitalize Each Word You Write,\"\nSaid Pete, \"is a terrible sight.\nA capital's smart\nAt a sentence's start,\nAnd for names, well, it's only polite.\"", "id": 25662, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When I looked in the list for akene,\nIt said, \"Means the same thing as achene.\"\nIt's a fruit or a nut\nThat remains tightly shut \u2014\nTill it dies \u2014 then its kernel is seen.", "id": 25663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "This old joke should elicit your \"Aw!\"\nOnce a three-legged mongrel growled, \"Maw,\nYes, I know I am lame,\nBut just give me the name\nOf the cowboy who shot my poor paw!\"", "id": 25664, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though I'm accident-prone and poor Rube,\nSick in hospital, witnessed my boob,\nHe's not breathing a word\nAbout what just occurred\nAs I stand on his oxygen tube.", "id": 25665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "In oration, it's best if you start\nWith the less argumentative part.\nYour catastasis serves\nAs a balm on the nerves\nOf the crowd. Then you go for the heart.", "id": 25666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Herman rang 999 for his bride:\n\"Her contractions come not apart wide!\"\nEmergencies smiled:\n\"Sir, is this her first child?\"\n\"Nein, nein, nein! It's her husband,\" he cried.", "id": 25667, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "BHT is but one of a slew\nOf your processed foods' chemical stew.\nIt's not just in your bread\u2014\nIt's embalming the dead.\nSo your food's perhaps processing you!", "id": 25668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "\"Qwerty worked,\" England's real typists yawned,\n\"Until IBM's own print ads scorned\nDamaged full-golfball heads'\nJumping K's, leaping Z's.\nX-cajoling vexed Brits never mourned.\"", "id": 25669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "An anteroom can be a bore\nWhile you wait to go through the next door.\nWhen you visit your lawyer\nAnd sit in the foyer,\nYou're stuck on the opposite shore.", "id": 25670, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "The First Lady, with palpable stress,\nSaid to Dubya, \"Dear, I confess\nThat the loss of Barb's purse\nCould in fact have been worse\n'Cause the thieves are now charging much less!\"", "id": 25672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "I think that the caretaker's faking\u2014\nClaiming gout makes him quake and he's aching.\nIf the landlord perceives\nThat the lout left the leaves,\nHe would pout without doubt, no mistaking.", "id": 25673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Your cartilage, surely enough,\nIs fibrous, elastic, and tough.\nIn your throat and your nose\nAnd the joints of your toes,\nHeaven knows it's incredible stuff.", "id": 25674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There's a call centre worker named Bert\nWho is eager and poised and alert.\nBut the line never rings.\nIt's just one of those things\n(Till one cancels one's phone's call divert).", "id": 25675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Janice M. Eisen", "limerick": "Though for \"am not\" 'twas once a contraction,\nTeachers ruled it an English infraction.\nSo we now, with a sigh,\nHave to say, \"Aren't I?\"\nAin't it shameful, this overreaction?", "id": 25677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Being brash and too bold brings me pain;\nI get took when I don't use my brain.\nWhen push comes to shove\nIn these matters of love,\n\"Fools rush in\" goes a sad old refrain.", "id": 25678, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Krakatoans will always lament\nThe day of the lava's descent.\nO'er their homes it did crash\u2014\nAll that hot rock and ash\u2014\n'Twas a true cataclysmic event!", "id": 25679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "See that tree over there, on the beach?\nIts leaf buds are so hard to reach!\nBut I'm fond of their taste,\nSo I'll surely make haste\u2014\nThat cabbage palm tree is a peach!", "id": 25680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Would you please sign these forms I've begun,\nSo that this precious child, my own hon,\nCan be my little girl?\nDo it quick\u2014in a whirl!\nMy adoption leave nearly is done!", "id": 25681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Mercutio suffered a stroke\nFrom a Capulet weapon, poor bloke.\n\"Ask tomorrow, you'll find\nMe a grave man,\" he whined,\nBowing out on a terrible joke.", "id": 25682, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"SheilaB, are you mother to Kyle?\nKyle Broflovski from South Park?\" \u2014 Denial:\n\"What, what, WHAT?! That's not me\n(I exist in 3D);\nThat meshuggenah's just not my style.\"", "id": 25683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A fisherman's tackle ensures\nThat his flies are attractive (as lures).\nBut I want a look\nAt a meatier hook;\nCan I have a butcher's at yours?", "id": 25684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "What a task! A cathedral so high\nAnd so wide, we shall build\u2014with a sky-\nscraping steeple to hold\nAll the words ever told\nIn our language! At least so we try...", "id": 25685, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "It puzzles me greatly. Please tell\nWhat gives with this \"algebra\" spell.\nYou have numbers galore,\nAnd yet still you want more,\nSo you use all the letters as well?", "id": 25686, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Intellectually gifted, that's me.\nThere's a word for my kind\u2014bel esprit.\nI've been witty and glib\nSince departing the crib.\n(I'm so full of myself, can't you see.)", "id": 25687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "At the home of a classical geek,\nWhere Etruscan and Roman are chic,\nOf nods to antiquity,\nNote the ubiquity.\nAll of his Attic is Greek.", "id": 25688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "When the fossil fuel's finished, don't fret;\nYou can gather manure that's wet.\nDry those cow pats to hasten\nTheir service as casson.\nUse cow dung for burning?  Not yet!", "id": 25689, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Obsolete though it be, it's among\nThe most flavorful verbs in our tongue.\nSaying bing for \"to be\"\nIs like music to me,\nAs I conjugate: bing, bang, and bung.", "id": 25690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "The magnificent curves of her bottom\nCast a spell upon men; 'twould besot 'em.\nShe would wiggle and smile\nAnd be theirs for a while,\nBut in most cases promptly forgot 'em.", "id": 25691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My mom anteverted her womb,\nSo she went to a doctor, from whom\nShe received this advice:\nAnteversion is nice.\nIt allows, for your rectum, more room.", "id": 25692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Each morning, I blow-dry my hair\n(Or what's left of it \u2014 not much up there!).\nThe appliance I use\nOften burns out a fuse\nWith its strong, steady stream of hot air.", "id": 25693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Nurse Karen is caring on call.\nFor concerns from the big to the small,\nGive her number a ring;\nShe knows just the right thing\nTo advise (or she guesses it all).", "id": 25694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I've tried making blini with buckwheat \u2014\nI've tried, but I've not had much luck wi'it!\nEach pancake or blin\nIs a little too thin\nTo 'ave caviar and sour cream stuck wi'it.", "id": 25695, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In a cave near the Mediterranean\nWe sheltered (the day was a rainy 'un);\nWhile thus cavernicolous\nMy girl suffered knicker loss,\nAnd we sampled delights subterranean.", "id": 25696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "There's a fact, when I lecture my class on\nArms and armour, I take care to pass on:\nThis word means the bow\nOf the saddle, and so\nNot the part that you settle your ar\u00e7on.", "id": 25697, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "It is bromic, this acid; no lie,\nNot the \"acid\" that makes you real high.\nPharmaceutical uses,\nNot substance abuses,\nAre its purpose. Too much and you'll dye!", "id": 25699, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The minute she walked in the door,\nShe was trapped by a talkative bore.\nThough he thought he was deep,\nShe was soon deep asleep.\nThey should bottle this guy. What a snore!", "id": 25700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "There was a young man of Tralee\nWho drove (quite fast) into a tree.\nHe wailed, \"Where's the bar?\nI've banjaxed me car.\nWon't you buy me a Guinness or three?\"", "id": 25701, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Silky Slim", "limerick": "From Disney came gems like Fantasia,\nBut the crap they make now might amaze ya:\nThe Travails of Snow White\nAnd Her Fight for the Plight\nOf A Septet with Achondroplasia.", "id": 25702, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My bed-sitter where I did dwell\nHad wet rot and dry rot as well.\nThere were cracks in the ceiling,\nThe paper was peeling,\nAnd as for the smell, it was hell.", "id": 25703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Young Rob tends equipment for hours,\nTill the ball team goes back to the showers.\nHe's a wonder, this Robin,\nBut fans won't be mobbin'\nHim\u2014bat boys have no super powers.", "id": 25704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "Can you say a cacuminal word?\nIt's called retroflex too. It's absurd.\nWith your tongue-tip tipped back,\nAnd then upward. Alack!\nWhen I try it, I feel like a nerd!", "id": 25705, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "If you're sad 'cause you feel hemorrhoidy,\nThink of chromosome problems, like Lloyd; he\nReceived a full set\nFrom each parent to get\nDiagnosis of allotetraploidy.", "id": 25706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "\"Gallic stones in arrangement simplistic,\"\nRevealed Johnny, a huge-turbaned mystic.\n\"May a yak make a mess\nOn your grandmother's dress!\"\n\"What is Carnac?\" asked Ed, optimistic.", "id": 25707, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If Big Ben were atomic, we'd see\nHow one isotope's changes could be\nVery helpful in timing\nThe ringing and chiming:\nMeet caesium 133.", "id": 25708, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "If you tailor (or dressmake) then you\nKnow the hole which your arm will go through\nIs an armscye\u2014it's there\nIn the pattern, and where\nThe sleeve of the suit is sewn to.", "id": 25709, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "When I first read the fact sheet, I swerved.\nAs I saw cleavage ranked: \"None Observed.\"\nIt was thus clearly seen\nThis was PG-13.\nCarnal-lite was the rating deserved.", "id": 25710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though your God-slant on blasphemy's crass for me,\nIt's not a great gas for me, blasphemy.\nI do not show disdain\nFor the truth, so it's plain\nYou need not say a blasphemy mass for me.", "id": 25711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Wendy longed for a puppy (she's three),\nSo I took her to Chinatown. Gee,\nShe rejected, in tears,\nThe best bargain for years:\n\"You buy puppy, I give girl one flee.\"", "id": 25712, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though these islands are known as Canary,\nWith names it is wise to be wary.\nRomans didn't, I've heard,\nConfuse canine and bird \u2014\nNo Canaries canary's that scary.", "id": 25713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though their catch-as-catch-can leads to petting,\nMy colleagues, of course, aren't forgetting\nIt's wrestling as well,\nWhich is not quite as swell,\nFor a girlfriend would find it upsetting.", "id": 25714, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Was an abbas an abbess or abbot?\n(Say \"AB-uhs\" for both.) Was it drabbet\nAn abbas was clothed in \u2014\nAnd frequently loathed in?\nAn abbot. Yes, drabbet by habit.", "id": 25715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Friends, I'm not just facetious to say\nThe word caesious hasn't, no way,\nAny cause to be blue,\nThough it's blue to the view.\nDid you notice its vowel display!?", "id": 25716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Alphabetic demands weren't so great\nWhen pet anagram scribes doted late.\nNow a lean-care G.P.\nIs Death's better M.D.\nAnd the Prince begs a red slaw to mate.", "id": 25717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Come to Baku on Caspian Sea!\n(No more Soviet Union.) Now we\nGood for tourists, you bet!\nYou will not, please, forget\nSample samovar Caspian Tea!", "id": 25720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't blackball our wits or domains,\nFor we've taken extravagant pains\nTo exclude from our verses\nGratuitous curses,\nUnfiltered rude flesh, and spilled brains.", "id": 25721, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and mephistopheles", "limerick": "My dad bought a new captain's chair,\nGiving orders we shouldn't sit there.\nBut when Dad left for town,\nWe took turns plopping down,\n'Cuz we thought that the rule wasn't fair.", "id": 25722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Son, your wheedling's taking its toll!\nI warn you, the more you cajole,\nThe more chance that you'll see\nNot a thing 'neath the tree\nAnd a sock with a big chunk of coal!", "id": 25723, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Our airplane's last engine is stalling.\nFrom the sky, we are rapidly falling!\nYet, the look on your face\nIs of bliss, peace, and grace...\nYou've a calmness I find quite appalling!", "id": 25724, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The court nominee thought of Bork,\nAnd was fearful the press in New York,\nIn L.A. and Nevada,\nLike old Torquemada,\nWould tighten the thumbscrews with torque.", "id": 25725, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"I'm worried I won't pass the bar,\"\nCried the would-be attorney (no star).\nHis career he regretted.\nStrung out, how he fretted:\nHe shouldn't have quit the guitar.", "id": 25726, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "If you blow off this meeting, my friend,\nThen our partnership comes to an end.\nYou've stood me up twice;\nIt's not at all nice.\nThe rift will be tricky to mend.", "id": 25727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When a husband and wife have a fight,\nTheir exchange might sound less than polite.\nFirst he argues his case;\nThen she laughs in his face.\nThen he says to her, \"Honey, you're right.\"", "id": 25728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antimonarchy orientation:\nWhen you're asked to the King's coronation,\nYou refuse to attend,\nThough the act may offend,\nAnd you sneer at your friends' acclamation.", "id": 25729, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "There once was an avant-garde pharaoh\nWho ordered a peppermint Aero.\nThe waiter (from Spain)\nDidn't come, so again\nThe Egyptian king yelled \"Camarero!\"", "id": 25731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Because of donations I made\n(Can't remember just what it will aid),\nThey've acquired my name\nAnd will soon try to shame\nMe to help with another crusade.", "id": 25732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "As you lie there now, Granny, white hair\nSoftly billowing still, I just stare\nAt the dear fading face\nThat no God could replace,\nStill awash in the love that flowed there.", "id": 25733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Here's a note from my old alma mum, ni-\ncely seeking the gift of a sum, nigh\nOn two million bucks!\nFor a pond??  And some ducks!!!\nWill they ever stop fleecing alumni?", "id": 25734, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Her cheeks were like smooth alabaster,\nThat translucent white cousin of plaster.\nHe wanted to press them,\nTo squeeze and caress them.\nShe'd have let him if only he'd asked her!", "id": 25735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The gastronome had this one wish\u2014\nTo never be served with boiled fish,\nSo when that's what came\nHe was heard to exclaim,\n\"I'll just have the accompanying dish!\"", "id": 25737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "We stood around looking aghast\nAt her skin's deathly pale, greenish cast.\nThough she looked three-months dead,\nThe goth smiled as she said,\n\"Wow! This make up is quite unsurpassed!\"", "id": 25738, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "As the year was about to expire,\nBrynner's journal could not have been drier.\nBut then his dull diary\nBecame hot and fiery\n(He'd thrown the Yul log on the fire).", "id": 25739, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "From an adenological study\nI worked on in school with my buddy,\nI learned that each gland\nHas a function that's grand\u2014\nWhen one fails I feel totally cruddy.", "id": 25740, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Deben", "limerick": "Insurgents who'd beaten a track\nTo Fallujah were taken aback\nWhen they found the marines\nHad blown up the latrines\nTo repel an Iraqi attack.", "id": 25741, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "To the cop he confessed, \"Yes, it's true,\nI'm a bagman for Lefty Larue.\nI collect the day's take,\nThen I hand it to Jake,\nMy proctologist\u2014he's in this, too.\"", "id": 25742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "The doc put his hand on my liver,\nWhich shivered and shook all aquiver.\nAs I poured him a drink,\nI explained with a wink,\n\"I reside by the famed Whiskey River.\"", "id": 25743, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Apple shaker?  That's more than a breeze.\nIt's a storm just as strong as you please.\nThe term has this sense:\nIt's for winds so intense\nThat the apples are blown off their trees.", "id": 25744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joankay", "limerick": "The seventy-something spry cow\nTook her bull by the horns and asked, \"How\nShall we manage to dance\nWith a splash of romance\nIf we can't get back up when we bow?\"", "id": 25745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calculational methods include\nBoth the simple-to-do and the shrewd:\nI use fingers and toes\nTo compute with; a rose\nGets a cutie to pose in the nude.", "id": 25746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Said a guy who, I'm sure, is a sleaze,\n\"You can makes lots of cash. It's a breeze.\nIn a blink of an eye...\"\n\"Not so fast,\" I reply.\n\"You're arrested, so come with me, please.\"", "id": 25747, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "His assets are huge. Yes, he's rich.\nHe complains that his tax bill's a bitch.\nBut I'd not be surprised\nIf his worth were disguised\nJust in time for his seven-year itch.", "id": 25748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "\"Ca' canny ma lad,\" sez ma daddy,\n\"An' dinnae go takin' a maddy,\nBut see your bird Mary?\n'S a clarty wee hairy\n'At mings like a hauf-smokit haddie.\"", "id": 25749, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Even though I'm just seven, I know\nAqua's water or ice cubes or snow.\nAnd another cool name\nI've heard's \"H-to-O\" (same\nAs just H-I-J-K L-N-O?).", "id": 25750, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "The biotech age will transform\nOur lives and our earth like a storm.\nThe plants with new features\nAnd customized creatures\nAre, patented, made in our form.", "id": 25752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Tasty baysalt is made from the sea\nThat is dried to the highest degree.\nWhen Sri Gandhi said, \"Try it,\"\nIt caused a near riot,\nFor it went against royal decree.", "id": 25753, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "When it's hickory-dickory time,\nThere's no anapest scampering climb;\nBut a dactylist might\nFind a suitable height\nWith a cursory nursery rhyme.", "id": 25754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "In the place where I live, it is hilly\nAnd, in winter, decidedly chilly\nAnd damp.  Even so,\nI've managed to grow\nThat spectacular plant, calla lily.", "id": 25755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "We're working here 24/7\nWith ten-minute breaks\u2014not eleven!\nIf only I'd known\nHow they moan on the phone!\nYes, this call centre's way short of heaven.", "id": 25756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light and Engineer", "limerick": "The crew on the bridge said to Kirk,\n\"With each photon torpedo, we jerk!\nWe've dilithium crystals\nAnd sleek phaser pistols;\nWhy can't we get seat belts that work?\"", "id": 25757, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Mr. Lincoln, who wore a high hat,\nUnaware but about to die, sat\nIn his box. He was shot.\nIt was part of a plot\nBy an actor\u2014we can't deny that!", "id": 25758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Amphistylic applies to the skull\nOf a shark (not a gopher or gull),\nWhen the mandible's joint is\nTo the hyoid.  My point is:\nDon't you find ichthyology dull?", "id": 25759, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Abenteric's a term that, with tact,\nSays disease or infection, in fact,\nCan be found where, of course,\nIt's away from its source\nIn the gastrointestinal tract.", "id": 25760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "When the methyl salicylate came\nWith betula oil marked as its name,\nWe detected the scent\nOil of wintergreen lent.\nIt appears they are one and the same.", "id": 25761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If your chemical process will go,\nBut the speed of it's miserably slow,\nAdd a magic ingredient,\nSuper-expedient!\nCatalyse; keep the heat low.", "id": 25762, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "I am proud of my beautiful wife,\nAs she agelessly helps me through life.\nWith few wrinkles to gauge\nChronological age,\nYou would swear she's been under the knife.", "id": 25763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Even starry-eyed dolts* who rhyme wanker\nWith Africa's great Casablanca\nThink Bogart is it,\nBut the locals could spit \u2014\nIt's for history, not Humphrey, they hanker.", "id": 25764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "If you think that the tenor Caruso\nOnce wet his great whistle with ouzo,\nYou're wrong, for this guy\nWas Italian and (sigh)\nYou can't booze with a musical muse, oh!", "id": 25765, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "\"Let's bury the hatchet,\" he said,\nBut my enemy should've felt dread,\n'Cause I'm literal (very);\nThe hatchet I'd bury\u2014\nRight smack in the back of his head.", "id": 25766, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Auriga's first magnitude star\nIs Capella, much brighter by far\nThan most objects above.\nMake a wish on it\u2014love\nWill endure (or if not, au revoir).", "id": 25767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Bombs will always wreak mayhem and blommer, Bill,\nAnd some may get dropped on your momma, Bill,\nSince targeting plans\nFeature kids and their grans,\nBecause nuclear families are bombable.", "id": 25768, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Assoilzie, if you are a Scot,\nMeans reprieve from a difficult spot.\nThis ancient locution\nMeans \"grant absolution.\"\nDo we miss the old word? I think not.", "id": 25769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "As orthodox treatment grows dearer,\nAlternative routes become clearer.\nThe doc wasn't sure\nVera wanted a cure,\nSo he muttered and said, \"Aloe vera.\"", "id": 25770, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "The Spartans, defeated, felt blue,\nAnd wondered just what they should do.\nThey thought, \"That Achaean\nKing's methods are mean,\nBut he's quite a keen warrior too.\"", "id": 25771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "It's an orchid from Asia that grows\nWith its leaves in two vertical rows.\nWaxy blossoms of white\u2014\nFragrance fills up the night\u2014\nLet the aerides pleasure your nose.", "id": 25772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The dentist once told me, \"Beware!\nYour teeth really give me a scare.\nThey're cavitary, quite,\nMy dearest Miss Wright,\nSo please try to brush with more care!\"", "id": 25773, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I canoed down the river with speed,\nFar too cocky to think I would need\nTo wear a life vest,\nBut it would have been best\nSince I flipped the boat over, indeed!", "id": 25774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The carabineros all train\nAs Chile's police, but in Spain\nAnd Manila this title\nRefers to those vital\nFor guarding the coastal terrain.", "id": 25775, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Kinky Koko the Clown tried a new nose \u2014\nNot a difference-of-shape, but of-hue nose.\nNo longer he lingers\nAt soirees for swingers;\nHe's shrinking from kink as a bluenose.", "id": 25776, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I have a new music cassette,\nAnd it's one that you'd like, I would bet!\nThe songs are all great\u2014\nMake me sing and gyrate\u2014\nIt's the best band I've listened to yet!", "id": 25777, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "You will notice a relative lack\nOf the thatching atop the old shack.\nI'm a ballard: my hair\nIs now scanty up there,\nThough it's lush on my ears and my back.", "id": 25778, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Cayman Islands?  Think pirates, my chum!\nIn the past, you'd be under their thumb\nIf you happened to reach\nTheir Carribean beach...\nNow, it's mainly a place to buy rum.", "id": 25779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "We hired a young canner named Fanny\nWho pulled out a goatskull (a nanny)\nFrom her sandwich container\nShouting, \"Look\u2014a no-brainer!\"\nWe fired her at once (too uncanny).", "id": 25780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "A word I know's often susceptible\nTo appearing, whenever acceptable,\nWith difference, in tandem.\nThe word? (It's not random.)\nAppreciable (as in perceptible).", "id": 25781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A cross-dressing dancer, named Dan,\nLonged to dance as a girl, not a man.\nIn a petticoat pink\nHe auditioned\u2014wink, wink,\nCan he cannily can-can?  Dan can!", "id": 25783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "We sold our big house in Montana\nAnd bought a small tent in Havana.\nNow we live on the beach,\nAll our needs within reach.\nHeaven's naught but a seaside cabana!", "id": 25784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "It's raining and blowing outside\nAnd my car has just spluttered and died.\nMy old bike's in the shed\nAnd I must buy some bread,\nSo I'll brave the bad weather and ride.", "id": 25785, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "You can lull him with musical tricks,\nOr put drugs in your honeycake mix.\nBut three heads (and six eyes)\nMean it wouldn't be wise\nTo pass Cerberus, guarding his Styx.", "id": 25786, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Eezee-Kleene\u2014that's the fabric for us:\nIt stays pristine with minimal fuss!\nWill not fade! Cannot stain!\nTry to rip it in vain!\n(Brushability, too, is a plus.)", "id": 25787, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "She is loud like an unruly youth\nWith her language, both coarse and uncouth.\nThere's more yap from her gob\nThan a whole bloody mob.\nShe's a bell hung on every tooth.", "id": 25788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcium phosphates include:\nOne we use when we're baking our food;\nOne that's earning its props\nHelping fertilize crops;\nOne our bones and our teeth have accrued.", "id": 25790, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcium sulfate you master\nIn gypsum, anhydrite, and plaster\nOf paris is cool.\nIt's a compound (and tool)\nThat makes setting and drying go faster.", "id": 25791, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A calculable number is one\nYou determine, when reckoning's done,\nBy enlisting the aid\nOf a boy in third grade\nWho's a math whiz\u2014your eight-year-old son.", "id": 25792, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One who pilots a ship or a plane;\nOne who orders lieutenants to train;\nOne in charge at hotels\nOf those hops with the bells;\nOne who leads in a field or domain.", "id": 25793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cauchy-Schwarz inequality? Norms,\nInner products, Euclidean forms,\nVector spaces, and mods!\nMathematical clods\nLike to study these things in their dorms.", "id": 25794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "So they say one in ten men is mad \u2014\nBarmy, batty, bananas. I'm sad\nTo reveal I've one friend\n(One of nine) round the bend \u2014\nThough I'm also, of course, rather glad.", "id": 25795, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Velikovsky had leaped to great heights,\nArcing close to the glaring hot lights.\nAs he fell into view,\nWhat a hullabaloo \u2014\nThey had melted his pink nylon tights!", "id": 25796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The weather was well in the eighties\nOn the banks of the river Euphrates,\nWhen we watched, to our shock,\nSomething eating a croc:\n'Twas some serpentine servant of Hades!", "id": 25798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Balladeers are completely insane:\nThey repeat themselves time and again.\nEvery stanza they play\nEnds the same stupid way,\nAnd I wish they would kindly refrain.", "id": 25799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When a shrieking soprano appears\nWith a Valkyrie's breastplate and spears,\nThat's a clue to determine\nThe opera's in German:\nA warning to cover your ears.", "id": 25800, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "In the pest-ridden swamps south of Quito,\nThusly spoke the hard-bitten bandito:\n\"I am not anti-nation.\nThat's a base misquotation.\nWhat I said was, 'I'm antimosquito.'\"", "id": 25801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "An airbrake's a very strong brake\nWhere air is compressed and will make\nTrucks' braking much slicker,\nWhich means they'll stop quicker\nWith less chance of any mistake.", "id": 25802, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Puritanical is the mentality\nOf some; alas, that's the reality.\nSo show me a sign\nOf what crosses the line\nWhen I write about sex, or carnality.", "id": 25803, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I admire the cabbage root fly.\nIt's an insect I rate very high.\nIt is one of my joys\nThat its larva destroys\nAll the veggies I hate\u2014and that's why!", "id": 25804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Digging down to the bedrock below,\nI discovered a place I can go\nAnd lay down for a while\nOn my bedroll in style\n(It's my rock and roll bed, doncha know?).", "id": 25805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Here's a word that my dad understood:\nBrimborion\u2014trash that's no good.\nWhen he said it, he meant\nSomething not worth a cent,\nOr a nickel that's made out of wood.", "id": 25806, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The cabin boy wouldn't be trapped in\nSo lowly a role; he was wrapped in\nA blanket of dreams\nAnd impossible schemes\nThat would land him the job of a captain.", "id": 25808, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "At the end of the range may be found\nA butt (that's a lump or a mound).\nHere the target you spy;\nWatch your swift arrows fly\nAnd just hope for the bull's-eye they're bound.", "id": 25809, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We're the number-one town in the nation\nFor low taxes and deregulation,\nWhich we hope bring to pass\nA content middle class\nThrough the process bourgeoisification.", "id": 25810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "To make plywood with knotholes omitted,\nThe layer on top must be slitted;\nThe almond-shaped space\nYou cut out is the place\nWhere a boat patch is carefully fitted.", "id": 25811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I have taken the Landscaper's Oath:\nTo remove all this boskage\u2014this growth!\nAll the saplings and shrubs\nWill be cut down to nubs\nUsing loppers or chainsaws (or both).", "id": 25812, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "This bottomry, signed at the dock,\nIs a contract that places in hock\nMy beloved old ship\nTo get funds for a trip.\n(I'm importing some cheaply made shlock.)", "id": 25813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "As a playwright, I'm prone to obsess\nOn the ending, with meager success,\nSince despite all my pains\nThe conclusion remains\nA catastrophe nevertheless.", "id": 25815, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since we moved to a bedroom community,\nI've seen signs of suburban disunity:\nSome commute at a crawl\nAnd complain of the sprawl;\nOthers value the growth opportunity.", "id": 25816, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "This biography's title's a tease.\nAnd the art on the dust jacket? Please!\nMaybe Butchers of Prague refers\nMore to biographers\nRather than biographees.", "id": 25817, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "When his comfy old jeans start to go,\nAnd he's working and bending down low,\nSee a cleavage appear.\nHear \"Tut-tut!\" and \"Oh dear!\"\nBuilder's bum \u2014 not the best thing to show.", "id": 25818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "My activity page is quite dead.\nGuess my limericks aren't being read.\nIt makes me so sad.\nAre they really that bad,\nOr is it just something I said?", "id": 25819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Remember the Barrymore sibs?\nFrom Shakespeare to salty ad libs,\nEthel's dignity pleased,\nCrippled Lionel wheezed,\nAnd John made the ladies cry, \"Dibs!\"", "id": 25820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A brannigan is a melee,\nA squabble, a brawl, or a fray,\nA quarrel, a riot,\nA public disquiet \u2014\nThe rest you will find in Roget.", "id": 25821, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "The Abbadids, who reigned in Seville,\nWere poetic, but hasty to kill.\nFor vases they chose\nThe skulls of their foes\n(Which I'd think would be tricky to fill).", "id": 25822, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "On our first date: \"Canst thou milk a cow?\nCanst thou work with a team and a plow?\"\nShe's both perky and pretty,\nBut I live in the city,\nSo a second date?  Doubtful, somehow.", "id": 25823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Your patient just suffered a fall.\nThe wi-fi's gone down at the mall.\nThrough the day or at night\nYou must deal with the plight\nOf your client, when you are on call.", "id": 25824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "When you're sending your readers to hare\nAfter facts of importance elsewhere\nThat you think may shed light\nOn your text, what you write\nAre the letters cf., \"please compare\".", "id": 25825, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"All appeals to authority are\nSimply worthless,\" said Doctor LeBar,\n\"So if I drive astray,\nI do not ask the way\u2014\nI sit there and curse at my car.\"", "id": 25826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A magnificent word is borborion\nWhen uttered in accents stentorian.\nBut it just means, I fear,\n\"Something useless.\"  It's clear\nThat it isn't a word one can glory in.", "id": 25827, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "My thoughts on creation are secular:\nThat beings called biomolecular\nOwe their birth to the pang\nOf a really Big Bang,\nWhich must have been rather spectecular.", "id": 25828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "It's the one hundredth birthday, you know,\nOf the playwright who gave us Godot,\n(Whose advent's a no-go\nFor Didi and Gogo),\nSo, Samuel Beckett, good show!", "id": 25829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "If your marriage you'd like to be saving,\nDon't dwell on your mate's misbehaving.\nDrop the righteous veneer,\nAnd say, \"My fault, my dear!\"\nThat's \"diplomacy\" (also called \"caving\").", "id": 25830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "My life was unhinged and bourgeois,\nSo I turned to my roots, et voila!,\nI grew out my beard\nAnd Torah I revered,\nBecoming baal teshuva.", "id": 25831, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "There once was a man from Fox Chapel\nWho was cursed with a huge Adam's apple.\nOne morning bad luck\nCaused his hash to get stuck,\nAnd with scrapple the apple did grapple.", "id": 25832, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "In making a film, cast and crew\nGet a call sheet designed to show who\nWorks each day on what scene,\nWhen and where to convene...\nHow and why? Well, for that there's no clue.", "id": 25833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Catastrophic, my urge for you, dearie,\nDisastrously sudden, and eerie;\nYou're the causative factor,\nA real \"strange attractor\",\nAs explained in catastrophe theory.", "id": 25834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Come closer, ch\u00e9rie, chimed Carl Clautsch,\nChoose cat's cradle (called Charlie's cool couch)!\nChew caramel crakes,\nChar conker crap cakes,\nCease crying cantankerously \u2014 crouch!", "id": 25835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "In British Columbia (B.C.):\nThat is where I would now like to be.\nI bought my first Hoover\nIn downtown Vancouver,\nAnd went on a vacuuming spree.", "id": 25836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The adeling: heir to a throne.\nAs such he was commonly known\nThroughout the \"Dark Ages\".\nOn history's pages,\nA nobleman, marrow and bone.", "id": 25837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I don't trust you.  I'm sure that you're lying.\nWhat you're selling, I simply ain't buying.\nI can tell when you lie.\nThere's a tell in your eye:\nYou don't blink when the truth you're denying.", "id": 25838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Some bigots who visited Cannes\nDemanded a gay-movie ban\nAnd, in ads quite extensive,\nThey screamed, \"It's offensive!\"\nThey failed; viewers raved to a man.", "id": 25839, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "In the land of my ancestors' birth,\nWhere there's beauty and music and mirth,\nThere's a small sandy shore\nThat I'll always adore:\nAberdaron \u2014 the best place on Earth.", "id": 25840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "If you're reading some poets for fun,\nPick the best of their works, one by one,\nGive the whole lot an edit,\nAnd then, to your credit,\nYou'll be an anthologist, son.", "id": 25843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "When your candidature is at stake,\nThere's no end to the hands you must shake.\nYou must turn up as planned,\nCrack a joke on demand,\nOh\u2014and never get caught on the take.", "id": 25844, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When I'm able, although I'm a man,\nI cancan whenever I can.\nAs I seal up the tin\nWhich I've put the food in,\nI do high kicks, skirts splayed like a fan.", "id": 25845, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "A sugar from cedar and pine\nThat scientists find to be fine,\nArabinose plays\nA role in their ways\nAs a medium where cultures may shine.", "id": 25846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "When the New Year is finally here,\nGay champagne will be poured far and near.\nBut it's smarter, I think,\nTo select, when you drink,\nOnly sadder Budweiser, a beer.", "id": 25847, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "A carrottop's mane is like flame\u2014\nBright red and quite sexy (some claim).\nAlso known for her ire,\nYou should never inquire\nIf her carpet and drapes are the same.", "id": 25848, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "My spouse likes to lie in the sun,\nAbsorbing those rays just for fun.\nAs for me, I hate sweat.\nI'd not bask on a bet.\nIt's unsav'ry to bake till you're done.", "id": 25849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On a cruise from Vancouver to Nome,\nOur son leaves his stateroom to roam.\nHe's constantly crabbin' \u2014\n\"So tiny a cabin!\"\nThe next time we're leaving him home.", "id": 25850, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "These days, button fly trousers are rare,\nAs a zip is thought more debonair.\nBet it made lovers grumble\nWhen men had to fumble.\nAnd what if he hadn't a spare?", "id": 25851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In the Arctic, the raw Bellot winds\nCut like knives through your polar-bear skins,\nAnd explorers who go\nThere at fifty below\nFace a shoving match. Ice always wins.", "id": 25852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "What's this business of Father and Son?\nGod's triune? Binitarian? One?\nIf a tree grows a leaf\nFor each form of belief,\nWith these three, it has barely begun.", "id": 25853, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Canvas screens shed a buttery light\nOn the architects learning with Wright.\nIt was more than just show:\nThere's a deep, inner glow\nTaliesin was meant to ignite.", "id": 25854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Brahmagupta, the sage of Ujjain,\nHad a penchant to learn and explain,\nBut he did it in verse,\nWhich, to me, is a curse \u2014\nMaking math even more of a pain.", "id": 25855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "That Bristol's the best is the truth,\nBut handling that paper's uncouth.\nIf vellum's the finish,\nYour oils can diminish\nThe requisite bite of the tooth.", "id": 25856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "For recruitment, I had to dragoon\nMotley soldiers to form my platoon.\nIt's a camelry force,\nMore effective than horse\nWhen the battlefield's desert and dune.", "id": 25857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anatomical facts may constrain us;\nWe have only one rectum to pain us.\nWith your hemorrhoids, you\nWouldn't care to have two,\nBut I guess you are glad we're bimanous.", "id": 25858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His extreme antiforeigner views\nAre aired, now and then, on the news.\nWhen this xenophobe sinner\nComes on during dinner,\nWe drown out his views with our boos.", "id": 25859, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "Dominique keeps exquisite control\nOf her boyfriend's mind, body and soul.\nShe studies allometry\u2014\nBody geometry:\nHow a part grows compared with the whole.", "id": 25860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "A student of some advanced standing\nHas satisfied teachers demanding\nThat by hook or by crook\nHe knows more than the book\nAnd he's earned the degree that he's landing.", "id": 25861, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "There's two bumps on an upper-case 'B'\nAnd a Bactrian camel, you see.\nSingle-humped dromedary\nAnd 'D' do not vary\nThis handy mnemonic for me.", "id": 25862, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "For pronouncing the m, p, and b,\nKeep the lips pressed together; it's key.\nAnd you'll find any baby'll\nMake these bilabial\nSoundings originally.", "id": 25863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "Well, the landscaping's hardly creative;\nLittle plant life, invasive or native.\nEven so, the beer garden\nIs, begging your pardon,\nA great place to get vegetative.", "id": 25864, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Hatfield", "limerick": "The waves of the Ottawa tossed\nThe astrolabe Champlain had lost,\nSo he couldn't rely\nOn the stars in the sky\nTo judge how many arpents he'd crossed", "id": 25865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The staff level shrank by attrition,\nNotwithstanding the workload addition.\nNo employees were fired,\nBut many retired,\nFulfilling the cost-cutting mission.", "id": 25866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Mix ketchup and Coke in a cup;\nLet chicken or ribs soak it up.\nThis cheap barbecue sauce\nMakes the food purists cross,\nBut it's yummy \u2014 come over and sup!", "id": 25867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "It is no use to rant or to rail.\nYou might try for a year and still fail.\nThere is nothing assured,\nYou must be inured\nThat your efforts might have no avail.", "id": 25868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If you choose to be laid in a grave\n(In the churchyard, the crypt or the nave),\nThere's no ash cash to pay,\nSo when passing away,\nJust think of the money you'll save.", "id": 25869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Switch it on: electricity flows\nAs a current called amps and it shows\nOn a meter. But then\nMultiply it by ten\u2014\nYou've an abamp (that's when the fuse blows).", "id": 25870, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Call it bedeguar gall (proper name);\nRobin's pin cushion, though, means the same.\nIt's the home or repose\nFor a grub on a rose\nWhilst it grows to a wasp. That's its aim.", "id": 25871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Here's brevity: terseness the goal.\nNow this lim'rick must stretch out its role,\nSince one line and no rhyme\nCould have saved lots of time\nAnd declared it was wit with a soul.", "id": 25873, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A performer, both mute and white faced,\nWas bit by a dog he'd debased.\nThe pooch gagged at the time,\nRealizing \"A mime\nIs a terrible thing (ugh!) to taste.\"", "id": 25874, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Such a bag filled with air that is fired\nTakes you up and away\u2014as desired?\nYou will not reach the Moon\nIn a hot-air balloon\u2026\nBut returning \u00e0 terre, you're admired.", "id": 25875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "If it's guilty delights you are seeking,\nBut you fret about scandals and leaking,\nHop a plane to Beijing\nWhere discretion's their thing \u2014\nFor whatever you do, they're not Peking!", "id": 25876, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Block and tackle's a magic device\nThat can multiply force, at a price.\nSo pull rope like you're manic:\nAdvantage mechanic\nMoves mountains, but not in a trice.", "id": 25877, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Mobile missiles to mount an attack.\nAnd he tried to give Daddy the whack.\nGas smelling like mustard.\nAll reasons, George blustered.\nCasus belli:  The whys of Iraq.", "id": 25878, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dick C. Erd", "limerick": "The Achomawi folk of CA\nHave essentially faded away.\nThe large \"tribe of the river\"\nWas reduced to a sliver,\nLeaving relics like potsherds of clay.", "id": 25880, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Baghdad's medical school gave instruction\nIn state-of-the-art liposuction,\nBut was blown to damnation\nFor proliferation\nOf weapons of ass mass reduction.", "id": 25881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "California poppies\u2014each crop\nI'll take photographs of till I drop.\nAnd it's simpler, Lord knows,\nTo get poppies to pose\nThan it is to get posies to pop.", "id": 25882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Bazooka's the name of the gum\nThat comes wrapped in a comic, and from\nWhich you blow big balloons\nAs you read its cartoons,\nWhile you chew on the pink stuff\u2014mm, yum!", "id": 25883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "The new boss had better avoid\nAd hocism.  Makes us annoyed...\nWe don't like the quick fix\nFor convenience.  Nix, nix!\nThe last guy did.  He's unemployed.", "id": 25884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Some believers in Yahweh or Isis\nOr Christ have endured anacrisis:\nThey were beaten with whips,\nOr burned on the lips,\nOr had their toes nibbled by mices.", "id": 25885, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "A dignified man, the catholicos.\nYou won't find him riding a rolicos-\nter, bumper car, swing,\nOr any such thing;\nHis mind is above, with the Holicos.", "id": 25886, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Two lunatic bedlamite geezers,\nWhile handing out twelve pairs of tweezers,\nSaid: \"Apostles, be wise!\nTake the motes from your eyes,\nAnd render them back into Caesar's.\"", "id": 25887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Lumbar vertebrae now have a kink\nSo I'm seeking some help 'fore I sink\n'neath the pain. Will the bend\nIn my back never mend,\nOr be cured in a blink, do you think?", "id": 25888, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Limericks written with trowels,\nMore noisome than movements from bowels,\nRouse wrath near and far.\nClumsy critters, they are\nKnown as lmrcks (without any vowels).", "id": 25889, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It has actinomorphy, this rose.\nIt has symmetry (every rose shows)\nThat is radial. We\nCut it lengthwise and see\u2014\nJust as any geometer knows.", "id": 25890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As I study his face, my pen slides\nAcross Bristol board.  Swiftly it glides\nAs I draw my friend Walter.\nIt's nice: if I falter,\nI can flip it and draw on both sides.", "id": 25891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Most reptiles aren't likely to be,\nAmong fauna, of interest to me\nBarring one, I'll confess,\nAmblyrhynchus, oh yes,\nAn iguana that lives in the sea.", "id": 25892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Understanding the Bible is hard.\nTake the case of Addar (also Ard).\nWas he Benjamin's son?\nOr his grandson? Thus one\nMust remain on perpetual guard.", "id": 25893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I had feared I would soon be a ghost\nWhen infection was first diagnosed,\nBut I took antiblastic\nMedication; 'twas drastic,\nBut worked\u2014so my doctors now boast.", "id": 25894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "As TV shows reach Sagittarius,\nThe alien revenge plans are various,\nLike bombarding our planet\nWith re-runs of Janet\nOn Super Bowl Sunday\u2014nefarious!", "id": 25895, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Two flowers, with great trepidation,\nPlan to mate\u2014they await pollination;\nBut if they're out of phase\nBy a couple of days,\nThey will fail at their fertilization.", "id": 25896, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When my sister Eileen makes a scene,\nIt's too hard to fight back, since she's mean.\nSince I'm pissed by her rant,\nI'd resist 'er, but can't:\nStanding up to my sister, I lean.", "id": 25898, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Oregonians' stock explanation\nFor the growth of their state's population:\nThat an easier drive,\nOnce they opened Route 5,\nLed to burgeoning Californication.", "id": 25899, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "What moves when you're starting to hustle,\nOr find yourself caught in a tussle?\nThink of actinin\u2014it\nIs the protein that's fit\nTo produce the contraction in muscle.", "id": 25901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If it's carnous (when said of a fruit),\nIt is fleshy, and pulpy to boot.\nIt may drip, so beware\nAnd consume it with care,\nOr the juices may ruin your suit.", "id": 25902, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Ann's alone, for\u2014she always contends\u2014\nHer career leaves her time for no friends,\nSince she makes a good earning\nBy constantly burning\nThe candle she holds at both ends.", "id": 25903, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "friday18", "limerick": "We're battening up this here cow.\nWe're fattening Daisy right now.\nShe'll be ready to eat,\nHalf a ton of red meat,\nThen we'll get right to work on the sow!", "id": 25905, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aparna Ray", "limerick": "A bystander simply will linger\nAnd watch while you go through the wringer.\nHe may try to act nice\nBy dispensing advice,\nBut to help you he'll not lift a finger!", "id": 25906, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "While bubonic (lymph) plague is a curse\nThat can often lead straight to a hearse,\nYersinia pestis,\nIf it's in your chest, is\nPneumonic, and that's even worse!", "id": 25907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Araucana \u2014 these chickens I've seen\nOn the Southern American scene.\nThe hens (and the males)\nAll have heads but no tails,\nAnd their eggs are a pale shade of green.", "id": 25908, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "\"I appreciate plain, simple taste,\"\nOscar Wilde's often quoted, misplaced:\n\"Just simple, not new:\nIt's the best that will do!\"\nLess than best might be seen as a waste.", "id": 25909, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "To cap this verse means each line must show,\nWith its head, how the last ended. So\nOnly end letters will\nLead the next line until,\nLastly, this verse is capped, head-to-toe.", "id": 25910, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Bratislava? You mean in Slovakia?\nI know of no city that's wackier!\nUnder Communist rule\n(Back when I was at school),\nThe whole place was decidedly tackier!", "id": 25915, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "An Irishman, name of Mahoney,\nKept a pig that he rode like a pony.\nSitting close to the ground\nWas much safer, he found...\nThis tale is a load of baloney.", "id": 25916, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "On the tapestry hung in Bayeux\nSee the tale of the Saxons' adieu:\nThey let facial hair grow\nBut have pas de chevaux;\nMounted Normans have pas de cheveux.", "id": 25917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "A barquentine, some will remark,\nHas three masts in a row like a barque,\nBut square-rigged at the bow,\nOthers fore-and-aft.  How\nWould you choose which to use for an Ark?", "id": 25918, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Her capriciousness shows itself daily:\nIn the space of an hour, she will gaily\nFavour Kant, Scaramouche,\nOr George W. Bush,\nThen say, \"Lenin's my role-model, really.\"", "id": 25919, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "God help us poor elderly souls\u2014\nMrs Jarvis has taken up bowls!\nHer confusion on bias\nIs certain to try us,\nAnd she thinks that the aim's to score goals!", "id": 25920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Archimedes once taught us of buoyancy.\nTo learn it, please purchase a toy an' see\nHow, by pressing the cap\nOf the bottle, that chap\nCalled the imp will increase your enjoyancy.", "id": 25921, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "It's a hieroglyph used as a frame\nFor inscribing a pharaoh's full name:\nA cartouche. And a cartridge\nTo shoot, say, a partridge,\nOr an outline resembling the same.", "id": 25922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Britunculus", "limerick": "Devious, mistrustful, oblique,\nPinter's characters speak, hide, and seek.\nWith subtextual violence,\nPauses and silence,\nTheir world is caesural ... Bleak.", "id": 25923, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light and Engineer", "limerick": "Sergeant Mulligan let out a shout\u2014\n\"Hey, you hooligan! You! Cut it out!\nQuit it! Cease! Desist! No!\nKnock it off! No more! Whoa!\"\nDoes he want me to stop? I'm in doubt...", "id": 25924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The amphodarch running this quarter\nOf the city, I told the reporter,\nThinks gambling and vice\nBring our neighborhood \"spice.\"\nI'm the gentleman's biggest supporter.", "id": 25925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Queen Arete earned great admiration\nAs top-ranking female Phaeacian.\nSo much virtue was seen\nIn this mythical queen\nShe became its personification.", "id": 25926, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There are breezes in Sydney, Taiwan,\nMassachusetts, Khartoum, and Milan,\nBut the Swiss will insist\nLake Geneva is kissed\nBy a breeze with a name: a bornan.", "id": 25927, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Since the wainscotting's beadboard has ridges\n(Or beads) that can function as bridges,\nYou can scarcely detect\nWhere the panels connect,\nIn a backdrop for ovens and fridges.", "id": 25928, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "\"Taking turns\": the alternative way\nIs \"al-ter-nately\";  that's in UK.\nBut across the great Pond,\nThough our lingo's a bond,\nIt's the al-ternate meaning they say.", "id": 25929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "There's a monk with a star on his chest\u2014\nFastest Bethlehemite in the West.\nAnd he don't really care if\nHe ain't really sheriff;\nThat star is a sign that he's blessed.", "id": 25930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I go boondocking\u2014park the RV;\nOr make out in the sticks with Marie;\nOr (what makes me the sorest)\nGo march through the forest\nWhen Sarge thinks we need more esprit.", "id": 25931, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "I'm a member of AISC;\nI just calculate steel endlessly.\nI-beam weights and their sizes\nHold no big surprises,\nBut to hold up your building, they're key.", "id": 25932, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "From the knock on his head he would falter\u2014\nHe had said on their way to the altar,\n\"Though it seems suicidal,\nI give you this bridle...\"\nAfter that, there was no one to halt her.", "id": 25933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Bivalent suggests room for two:\nO or S, two electrons too few;\nOr an antigen might\nPlug an alternate site.\nTwin or double? Perhaps with a view?", "id": 25934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An aspiring soprano from Dallas\nGave a concert or two at the palace.\nSaid the Queen, \"I've a fear\nThat it isn't my ear;\nPrima donna you're not; call me callous.\"", "id": 25935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "A reviewer sans fear or remorse,\nTotal truth was Dot's constant recourse.\n\"Not a book,\" she once sighed,\n\"To toss lightly aside.\nYou should hurl it with maximum force.\"", "id": 25936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "The definitive bibliophile\nStashes books beyond count in a pile.\nThough it might seem outrageous\nTo read all those pages,\nIt's kept her amused for a while.", "id": 25937, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "One more second this last New Year's Eve\u2014\nTwenty-third they've thrown in, I believe.\nThis atomic clock fix\nFor old Father Time's tricks\nLets our Mother Earth wobble and weave.", "id": 25938, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Years ago, in an earlier age,\nFolks made camphor glass truly the rage.\nThese beautiful glazes\nIn jewelry and vases\nNow cost quite a lot of your wage.", "id": 25939, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "For our hols, we think East Yorkshire's fun;\nWe love Bridlington's sea, sand and sun.\nAt this coastal resort\n(And superb fishing port),\nWe can really feel summer's begun.", "id": 25940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "In the distance the storm clouds had massed;\nSoon a bank dumped its snow and then passed.\nWill the plows clear each street,\nMaking snow banks to greet\nThose commuters who'll bank they'll drive fast?", "id": 25941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "It's the appestat's fault if we eat\nToo much food at one time\u2014pretty neat!\nIt's supposed to control,\nBut I've taken a poll,\nAnd I've found that my own likes to cheat!", "id": 25942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "I'm a dyed-in-the-wool allotheist,\nAnd I'm not like your typical deist\u2014\nI worship my nose!\nAnd, as one might suppose,\nI'm its lone devotee and its pri-est.", "id": 25943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Bridal showers for soon-to-be wives,\nWhere the presents are toasters and knives\nAmid fun and applause,\nAre called showers because\nWives'll reign for the rest of their lives.", "id": 25944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "If you need to make contact with me,\nUse the Citizens' Band (or CB).\nHear that radio purr?\nMaybe smoke signals were\nA CB in 9,000 BC.", "id": 25945, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "All is dark in a shelter of trees\nThat caverns us.  Nary a breeze\nCan pass through this thick weald.\nIt's as though we are sealed\nIn a cavern that nobody sees.", "id": 25946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "I had heard of a pastor renowned\nFor his songs\u2014heartfelt, pious, profound\u2014\nBut I did not rejoice,\nFor his organ and voice\nHad a deep, hollow, cavernous sound.", "id": 25947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "This self-portrait of Rembrandt's divine\u2014\nSo much detail in shading and line!\nI whole-heartedly love it\u2014\nThe cat's cradle of it!\nSo intricate was his design!", "id": 25948, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "A director liked farms\u2014he enjoyed 'em.\nHe found unionless actors; employed 'em.\nWhen his bovines were freed,\nThey all faced a stampede,\nSo that cattle call nearly destroyed 'em.", "id": 25949, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bit", "limerick": "When playing outside, I just can't\nGet enjoyment from soil or from plant.\nBut by bending the light\nWith a hand lens just right,\nI can burn with a caustic. (Poor ant!)", "id": 25950, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "An amphiploid's quite a phenom:\nTake the stout forest coconut palm:\nReproduced with a twist\u2014\nThe meiosis was missed\u2014\nExtra genes both from Dad and from Mom.", "id": 25951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Alca torda, or razor-billed auk,\nIs a seabird, with penguin-like walk.\nHe dives for the food\nThat will nourish his brood,\nAnd when mating, emits a loud squawk.", "id": 25952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "A  calendar's useful to me,\nBut its use is short-lived.  Can it be\nIn a free-market land\nObsolescence is planned?\nFor its days sure are numbered, I see.", "id": 25953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and sigg", "limerick": "In this serial book, the plot thickens\nWith each chapter, as bloodletting quickens.\nOn that tragic last day,\nCarton dies for Darnay\nIn A Tale of Two Cities by Dickens.", "id": 25954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "If while reading fran\u00e7ais you should see\nA cedilla (that thing on the \"C\"),\nIt's simply a way\nTo say \"I'm not a K,\nSo pronounce me more sibilantly!\"", "id": 25955, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A neighbor I hold in regard\nTold me ducks had been seen in my yard.\nEyes and ears toward out back,\nNeither webbed feet nor quack \u2014\nI concluded 'twas just a canard.", "id": 25956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "One's a song, one's a guy, then there's teen\nTrou of choice, or may happen to mean\nGenetic material\nThat even some cereal\nCan contain this quite harmless blue gene.", "id": 25958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "I'm called Prince (since JC's known as King)\nOf the Church. You, dear pilgrims, will sing\nOf our Holiness. Kneeling\nAt audience, feeling\nDevout, pucker up: kiss my ring.", "id": 25959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "TV's better than ever?  A fable!\nIf that's so, tell me why I'm unable\nTo find squat on TV\nDespite three hundred three\nIndividual channels on cable!", "id": 25960, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Oh, my God!  We've been robbed!  What the hell?\nThey took everything easy to sell!\nThe computer, TV,\nVCR, the A/C,\nAnd they took the damn watchdog as well!", "id": 25961, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Though you once were a wonderful melon,\nSweet and yummy beyond any tellin',\nNow no beauty I find\nIn your rough, rotting rind.\nSorry, cantaloupe!  (Also, you're smellin'...)", "id": 25963, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Would you please heed the words that I'm jottin':\n\"We like spuds, crumbs, and cheese in au gratin!\"\nOnce before, you used beans,\nAnd they called the Marines.\nIt was wicked hard fightin' through fartin'!", "id": 25964, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "John Cage, the composer renowned\nFor his usage of ambient sound,\nPerformed one piece he wrote\nWhich had nary a note.\nIn his Silence was music profound!", "id": 25965, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "An accordion insert's a tad\nObtrusive: a newspaper ad\nOn a folded up sheet,\nLoosely placed, not so neat,\nThat falls out on the lap of your dad.", "id": 25966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"I think astral projection's a crock,\"\nSaid a stuffy and cynical doc.\n\"The mere concept's a con;\nA live Jack, Jill, or John\nCannot make their mind/body unlock.\"", "id": 25967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Liverwort, hornwort and moss:\nHearty land plants you may come across.\nFound on logs, stones and trees,\nThey won't dry out or freeze,\nAnd bryologists study this dross!", "id": 25968, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "A soldier from Rome often prayed\nTo Bellona, to steady his blade.\nHe'd promise a gift\nOn her altar to lift,\nIn return for her guidance and aid.", "id": 25969, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "So my boyfriend just left me, OK?\nAll this homework will not go away.\nOh my god! I'm so fat!\nThey all hate me! And that\nIs a spot on my nose. Am I gay?", "id": 25970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "H. C. Andersen's fairytales range\nFrom the quaint to the wonderfully strange.\nAnd the poor ugly duck\nWho outgrew his ill luck\nStill gives children some hope by this change.", "id": 25971, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "Well, you might put a bunk bed in place\nJust to utilize vertical space.\nThese are two beds (what fun!)\nWith the footprint of one.\nSis will snore, but you won't see her face.", "id": 25972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "You may think of the term appellation\nAs a title or nickname creation.\nAnd if, by some chance,\nYou've a vineyard in France,\nThen you must follow this designation.", "id": 25973, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Caesarion's mother, it's plain,\nHad grandiose plans in her brain:\n\"Little Caesar, my child!\nI've delivered,\" she smiled\u2014\n\"I'll make him the first in a chain.\"", "id": 25975, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A budding young Buddhist named Guy\nSigned up as a monk on the sly,\nBut his dear mother Lana\nSaid, \"What's this nirvana?\nWill someone be losing an I?\"", "id": 25976, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "At the close of the Era Victorian\nCame a self-proclaimed \"Royal Historian\".\nL. Frank Baum was his name;\nTales of Oz brought him fame\n(Each story a fun and non-gory 'un).", "id": 25977, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Armed with crosses and torches, a mob\nChased an alliumphobe, name of Rob,\nWho, like many undead,\nHad a garlicky dread.\nWhat's at stake for the mob? Shish ke-BOB.", "id": 25978, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She's a bovarist, vain and conceited.\nShe expects you to bow when you're greeted,\nAnd she looks down her nose\nAt the cut of your clothes,\nLike a victor might view the defeated.", "id": 25979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Randolph, a boondoggler clerk,\nWrote limericks, pretending to work.\nHis boss, late one night,\nSaw the times on the site;\nThe next morning he fired the jerk!", "id": 25980, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Our government claims that it strives\nTo diminish the bumf in our lives.\nIf we're ready to faint,\nWe can lodge a complaint\u2014\nBy completing two form 605's.", "id": 25981, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "New Year's Eve's a tradition perennial\u2014\nParty twice between markers biennial.\nBy any old measure,\nCome December I'll treasure\nMy part in Year 6 bimillennial.", "id": 25982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Amianthoid describes crystal forms\nLike asbestos (as found in old dorms) \u2014\nSilky fibers that flex,\nNot the chunks or the specks\nThat some people might think of as norms.", "id": 25983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I admit it's a terrible pain\nTo explain, so I'll make myself plain.\nWhat is driving me loco?\nThe substance in cocoa\u2014\nCacaine, my dear, not cocaine!", "id": 25984, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When you're snorkeling, you needn't look far.\nAn anemone, bright as a star\u2014\nAn audacious actinia\u2014\nWill stick its barbs in ya.\nThey look so innoxious. Bizarre!", "id": 25985, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Vampire Bob fears cuisine from the Thai;\nPungent garlic their cooks like to fry.\nThose cloves give him the willies,\nNot the freaking hot chilies.\nHe's an alliumphobic bat guy.", "id": 25986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Using cerium oxide's the last\nStep in polishing mirrors.  It's cast\nOn the surface and ground\nNice and smooth all around.\nIt removes nicks and scratches so fast!", "id": 25987, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "He was born in a world full of strife,\nThen he grew and he found him a wife.\nRaised a couple of sprogs\u2014\nLate in years, popped his clogs.\nThat's the be-all and end-all of life?", "id": 25988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "You'll be guaranteed swift termination\nBy your radioactive creation.\nStand a little too close,\nGet acute level dose\u2014\nIt's the quietest form of cremation.", "id": 25989, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Being accurate's highly essential.\nThis is math, not some course existential.\"\nWe enjoyed a brief laugh\nAt the lecturer's gaffe,\nFor our subject was jurisprudential.", "id": 25990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"In all candor\" prepares me for lies\nWhen it's said by political guys.\nPoliticians proclaiming\nThey're honest are aiming\nTo fool us\u2014a word to the wise.", "id": 25991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "In Kentucky, they're fond of mint juleps,\nA drink that has passed not a few lips.\nMost are pleased by the mint\n(Alcoholature's hint)\nIn spring, on the Downs, midst the tulips.", "id": 25992, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "\"Spare a dime?\"  (that is only ten cents)\nWas the gist of what ladies and gents\nWho were down on their luck\nHad to sing. They would shuck\nAll their pride as they sang their laments.", "id": 25993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A new baby, what wonderful news!\nBut for some moms a struggle ensues.\nIts severest expression \u2014\nPostpartum depression,\nIn milder form called baby blues.", "id": 25994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "When I see vile expellings best-selling,\nI oft find my bile is upwelling.\nTo anger I'm apt,\nMy patience has snap't.\nThey even have mangled their spelling!", "id": 25995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "My dear son is the apple of my eye.\nMy opinion of him is sky-high.\nBut now in his teens,\nHe wears ripped baggy jeans,\nAnd his hair colors just make me sigh.", "id": 25996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "I once took a trip to Calcutta,\nWhere folks cook with ghee 'stead of butter.\nThey speak in Bengali;\nIt's all rather jolly,\nExcept for the poor in the gutter.", "id": 25997, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "I've got some black olives I'm chopping;\nI found quite a bargain when shopping.\nShall I make pasta sauce,\nOr a Greek salad toss,\nOr have \"black rubber tire\" pizza topping?", "id": 25998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "\"No, don't!\" yelled the captain, aghast,\nTo a deckhand who acted too fast.\nOff the edge fell what looked\nLike the anchor unhooked,\nBut 'twas ancoral ballast he cast.", "id": 25999, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "joshuacronemeyer", "limerick": "They say Agrippina killed Claudius,\nBut facts in the case are the spottiest.\nShe got billed as the baddie\nWhen she killed her son's daddy;\nNow Nero is seen as the naughtiest.", "id": 26000, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Her dress and demeanor are easy,\nBut today it was just downright sleazy.\nHer tunic, half-tucked\n(Asymmetrically rucked),\nWas bloused 'round her hips free and breezy.", "id": 26001, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "A girlfriend of mine called Alara\nIs wearing a gaudy tiara:\nCrowned \"Queen of the Limbo\",\nBent back, legs akimbo,\nWhile dignity says \"Sayonara\".", "id": 26003, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "Outside, in a bush, there's a birdie.\nAt night, when I sleep, he gets wordy.\nI'll catch him to thank him,\nAnd bolt on a crank-him,\nAnd fashion a new hurdy-gurdy.", "id": 26004, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "In medical science, not rocket,\nTo bind with a gene and then block it,\nJust use your best guess or\nAn active repressor.\nAnd if you ain't tried it, don't knock it.", "id": 26006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "By a builder a building is built,\nAnd a quilter will quilt on a quilt.\nA writer writes writing,\nA lighter lights lighting.\nKate'd kill for an off-kilter kilt.", "id": 26007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "California has Senator Boxer.\nShe's tough; it's quite hard to outfox her.\nThe push for gay rights\nIs just one of her fights.\nShe's cool; right-wing flak never rocks her.", "id": 26008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Abracadabra's a phrase\nOf magicians, although in past days\nIt was thought to aid healing\nWhen worn while ill feeling.\nThe necklace would cure your malaise.", "id": 26009, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "The fire 'neath the full cauldron crackled,\nAs the witches surrounding it cackled.\nThey laughed and they screeched\nAs the moment was reached\nWhen their magic was fully unshackled.", "id": 26010, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "His ear wax was thick and voluminous.\nIt glowed in the dark! It was luminous!\nTo see him at night\nWas a marvelous sight,\nWith his lobes glowing bright and ceruminous.", "id": 26011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "From the Nineties until the Great War,\nArt Nouveau reigned the worlds of decor\nAnd graphic design.\nWith a sinuous line,\nIt's medieval, and modern, and more.", "id": 26012, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "My husband went with me one day\nTo the Buffalo River to  play.\nAs we were canoeing,\nI started boo-hooing\u2014\nMy oar had just floated away!", "id": 26013, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "When a singer releases a \"best-of\",\nFor consumers it's either a test of\nObsessive collecting\nOr simply selecting\nFrom stuff that they don't like the rest of.", "id": 26015, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "The worker was livid, with reason.\nHer monarch was killed! It's high treason!\n\"I'll avenge thee, my queen!\"\nBut her death: just as clean.\nAt a picnic, all ants are in season.", "id": 26016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "Does this line need an em dash or colon?\nI've decided to set my great goal on\nPicking which one to use \u2014\nChanged my mind! I can't choose!\nSomeone tell me, oh please take control on!", "id": 26017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "AegNuddel and Graham Lester", "limerick": "If Ashley and sweet Mary-Kate\nWere to live in a caliphate state,\nThey'd be hidden by veils,\nAnd their video sales\nWould be peaking at seven or eight!", "id": 26018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Celebrities long in the tooth\nSeek wisdom in place of lost youth.\nBoth vain and illogical,\nThey choose anagogical\nPaths to convenient \"truth.\"", "id": 26019, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Your complaints are quite foolish. Don't carp,\"\nSaid a gal who played cello and harp.\n\"It is wrong to be petty.\nSpaghetti's spaghetti.\nSo what if your knife isn't sharp?\"", "id": 26021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"I am bored,\" said the man, \"and quite blue.\nLife is dull\u2014not one new thing to do.\nAll my toys are pass\u00e9\nAnd my friends, d\u00e9class\u00e9.\nIf I weren't disbarred, I would sue.\"", "id": 26022, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Now CAMRA's the campaign for ale \u2014\nReal beer that's not fizzy and pale.\nAnd here in UK\nI drink pints every day \u2014\nThat's why I'm so hearty and hale.", "id": 26023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "When we talk about having the blues,\nDepression's the very big news.\nBut in life as in art,\nBlue gives joy to the heart,\nWhen looked at in terms of its hues.", "id": 26024, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "You should never play cards on a lark\nWith a Vegas-style card-wielding shark.\nWhether blackjack or poker,\nDon't deal with a joker\nAnd gamble at being a mark.", "id": 26025, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Ow! My tooth aches,\" a man told the nurse,\nWhose answer was biting and terse:\n\"The Doc's in a tizzy.\nHis schedule's too busy.\nTake asp'rin. Come back when it's worse.\"", "id": 26026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "To look like those models, I buy\nAll that stuff in those ads. I could die\nJust to look like they do,\nBut I don't. Oh, boo hoo!\nYet I dream: I still buy, and I try.", "id": 26027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Your daughter is bold, so I'm told,\"\nSaid a neighbor, some eight decades old.\n\"Yes, she's fearless and daring,\nAnd you're overbearing,\"\nSaid Mom to that nosy, old scold.", "id": 26028, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Amalthea, huge Jupiter's moon,\nOrbits twice for each Earth solar noon.\nAn asteroid captured,\nWith Jove she's enraptured.\nFrom Io, now sulphur-bestrewn.", "id": 26029, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "Let's go celibate, dear. Don't protest!\nI've got something to get off my chest.\nThe sex that we've had\nWasn't really that bad.\nIt's just that I feel like a rest.", "id": 26030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "The matador, being no dope,\nMade his entrance, all ready to cope\nWith the great bovine brute;\nOptimistic to boot,\nHe held out his cape of good hope.", "id": 26031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Said the fellow, \"I need some advice.\nTell me how I can catch me some mice,\n'Cause my wife saw some lurk\nBy the fridge\u2014went berserk!\nTill I catch 'em, my sex life's on ice.\"", "id": 26032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Though the author got major acclaim\nFor a well-reviewed book about fame,\nHis renown expertise\nWas worth less than a sneeze\nUntil publishing made him a name.", "id": 26033, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Your apology's rather belated,\"\nSaid the gal to a fellow she hated.\n\"Your delay makes me fear\nThat it isn't sincere\u2014\nYou still had your hair when we dated!\"", "id": 26034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "We're both bossy, my husband and I.\nDomineering, some say with a sigh.\nBut though some might disparage\nA two-bosses marriage,\nEach day is the Fourth of July.", "id": 26035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "He whittled the willow, beguiled\nBy this wood-fusion, mild mixed with wild.\nAs the wind and her whistle\nSet whispers abristle,\nHe sighed, and his carving-child smiled.", "id": 26036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Cried a bare-assed torero from  Sydenham,\n\"My trousers, se\u00f1ores! You've hydenham!\"\nHe flushed when he learned\nThey had quickly been burned\nWhen the matadors saw what he dydenham.", "id": 26037, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David and Chris Young", "limerick": "My optician came clean, for it cleanses:\n\"I confess I have charged you for lenses\nPrescribed (I'm a brute)\nThough your eyesight's acute.\nIt's not right \u2014 but it's paid for my Benzes.\"", "id": 26038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Over tin plates of beans they all bent;\nAfter supper they started to vent.\nIn Mel's film, Blazing Saddles,\nSlim's goon squad did straddles\nAs each man would add his assent.", "id": 26039, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Amanita rubescens, the blusher:\nA mushroom, a poisonous crusher.\nOh, it's eatable, but\nOnly once for each nut\nUnaware that it's Death's little usher.", "id": 26040, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "William Shakespeare wrote many a sonnet\nAbout maids who abandoned the bonnet;\nTresses tossed in the breeze\nMade him weak at the knees\nWith the urge, and the acting upon it.", "id": 26041, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "Said a carpenter fellow named Saul\nTo a girl he met, \"Give me a call.\"\nThen he thought, \"I need more;\nWanna nail what I saw \u2014\nWhen I join 'er, I'll give 'er my awl.\"", "id": 26042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "snakelocks", "limerick": "To the taxman I'm really quite fond\nOf noting, when we correspond,\n\"There's no government bill\nAs I'm licensed to still\nAnd my booze is all kept under bond.\"", "id": 26043, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Cap'n Jack was washed over the side.\nHis crew searched but found not hair nor hide.\nNo longer the helm,\nBut the deep benthic realm,\nIs where Jack will forever reside.", "id": 26044, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "In the mountains of Thessaly fair,\nA man fell in love with a mare.\nWhen this odd couple mated,\nCentaurs were created.\nThe mythmakers took it from there.", "id": 26045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "I went to see Reverend Nathaniel\nWith my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel,\nBut the dog is a smelly 'un\nAnd acted Cromwellian\nBy devouring the whole Book of Daniel.", "id": 26046, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Oh my celandine poppy! You bring\nSummer joy to my heart, make it sing.\nStriking tall yellow flower,\nThough 'bove others you tower,\nYour sap is a poisonous thing.", "id": 26048, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The archerfish scored a fine hit\nOn the insect that flew above it,\nWith superlative aim\nMeant to kill or to maim\n(And to cover in archerfish spit).", "id": 26049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Deben", "limerick": "What a nerve has my cousin Ignatius.\nHis behavior is downright audacious.\nHe once tickled the chin\nOf the Pope in Berlin\nWho, in shock, could cry only \"My gracious!\"", "id": 26050, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you boast of adventures and deeds\nOf a hero who always succeeds,\nIt is called aretalogy.\nHere's an analogy:\nHype that a press agent needs.", "id": 26051, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DaveD and Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "To define what's in smelling salts, I'm\nSurely posed with a problem that's prime.\nIt's stark pandemonium:\nClearly ammonium\nCarbonate hasn't a rhyme.", "id": 26052, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When Wedgewood developed a plan\nTo make stoneware of yellowish tan,\nHe required a name.\nInspiration then came:\n\"Can I name it for cane? Yes, I can!\"", "id": 26053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "The Cyanocitta cristata!\n(I'd say syllable-wise, that's a lotta.)\nIt's much simpler to say\nHe's the blue jay, okay?\nFound mostly on land, not on watta.", "id": 26054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "They awoke as a new day was dawning,\nWell away from the sun, 'neath the awning;\nThen they let out a cry,\nAs they sprawled all awry,\n\"What an awesome fun start to the morning!\"", "id": 26055, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Bruce Wayne has been shot by a gat,\nUnaware where the villain was at.\nHis sad explanation?\n\"Bad echolocation;\nRemember, I'm blind as a bat!\"", "id": 26056, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kirk Zurell", "limerick": "A below-the-belt shot isn't right.\nThat's the wrong way to win in a fight.\nIt's a strike at the jewels\nIn word or deed duels.\nIt doesn't take balls, but it might.", "id": 26057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Does argol mean more, you may ask,\nThan tartar that forms on a cask?\nIt's grape juice deposits\nAnd camels', too, 'cause it's\nDried dung used for fuel. (End of task.)", "id": 26058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The length of a vector's projection\nWill depend on the vector's direction,\nBut can never exceed\nIts own length, and indeed,\nInner products provide their connection.", "id": 26060, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On a molecule, turn up the heat,\nAnd its thermal absorption's discrete,\nWith translations, rotations,\nBond-bending vibrations,\nBond stretching, and torsions replete.", "id": 26061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the midst of my mean game of Scrabble\nOn the biblical tower of Babel,\nMass confusion occurred,\nSo my game-winning word\nScored no points from that babbling rabble.", "id": 26062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown and mrsrev", "limerick": "York and Lancaster chose as their flower\nThe rose, sign of grandeur and power.\nBut the dear old Queen Mother\nSelected another\u2014\nThe camellia adorned her last hour.", "id": 26063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "If you're yawning a cavernous yawn,\nThen a roomful of yawns you may spawn.\nBut if your mouth you cover,\nYou soon may discover\nThe yawning contagion is gone.", "id": 26064, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If your tractor breaks down can you fix\nIt? And do you keep sheep and some chicks?\nYou're bucolic in dress?\nIf your answer is \"Yes\",\nThen you're borrel, and live in the sticks.", "id": 26065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "We say, \"Shiver me timbers,\" me darlings,\nSince timbers below, called the carlings,\nAre loose, and they shiver,\nSo pirates deliver\nAppropriate curses and snarlings.", "id": 26066, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "I'm rapidly nearing senility,\nThus losing accountability.\nTo account for my time\nMy response is this rhyme,\nWhich just adds to my sense of futility.", "id": 26067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Callous Khan, when Osama's swine rang,\nBuilt a bomb and then called in the gang.\nThey had trusted Khan's skill\nAs a terrorist till\nThey went in and went out with a bang.", "id": 26068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "It's a press conference. Such electronics\nTo capture G. Dubya's bushonics:\nHis syntax that's tangled,\nHis grammar that's mangled,\nAnd that's not to mention his phonics!", "id": 26069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "I once knew a man whose caress\nWas so deft he could make girls undress\nWith merely a touch.\nIt didn't take much\nTo get all of the girls to sigh, \"Yesss...\"", "id": 26070, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "Ann alliterates, steamed she should scold\nSister Sue, since Sue's shack's still unsold.\nShe snaps, \"Sue, suckers sue\u2014\nSecrete scuzz, smells still stew!\nShould've scrubbed to subdue mangy mold.\"", "id": 26071, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "I gorge on big burgers with cheese\nAnd eat all the fries that I please.\nI'm so idiotic\u2014\nArteriosclerotic.\nI'll die of a clogged-vein disease.", "id": 26072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "Of the months, April is the most cruel,\nIf you use T.S. Eliot's rule.\nIt's (according to Chaucer)\nA pilgrimage-causer,\nThough it tends to be rainy and cool.", "id": 26073, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Fred Harris", "limerick": "There once was a farmer named Miller\nWhose crops were attacked by Godzilla,\nWho trampled his wheat,\nWhich caused him to bleat\n\"My God \u2014 it's a cereal killer!\"", "id": 26075, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Spoken words in a little balloon:\nIn the papers this daily lampoon\nOf our pols and our leaders\nDelights all its readers\u2014\nThe political type of cartoon.", "id": 26076, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "There was a wise foreman from Spay.\nWhen allotting tasks,  often he'd say,\n\"If I may be so bold,\nYou must do as you're told\nOr you will not work after today.\"", "id": 26077, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "What made this shelled creature  distinct?\nThe ammonoid's chambers were linked.\nSee this critter while dipping,\nWe'll know you've been tripping,\n'Cause all of them now are extinct.", "id": 26078, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "When we've thirst on our brain, well then, we're\nSo American, choosing our beer:\nIt's gotta be cold\u2014\nIn our hands here we hold\nA (burp) Budweiser. Let's give a cheer!", "id": 26079, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Too much sex is a most weird addiction;\nWhat's supposedly pleasure's affliction.\nWhat's this feeling called lust?\nMaking out's my main \"must\".\nFun is fun till it's not, but just friction.", "id": 26080, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antiperistasis is power\nIncreased by resistance. I cower.\nNow defiance prevails,\nBut supposing it fails?\nI'd be crushed and pressed flat, like a flower.", "id": 26081, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To conquer this castle's my goal,\nAnd I'm planning to use a bricole.\nWith this catapult, I\nCan hurl boulders quite high,\nHit its wall, and produce a great hole!", "id": 26082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An autoplasty granted salvation;\nI was saved by this smart operation.\nI supplied my own patch\nSo the tissues would match,\nAnd survived it without complication.", "id": 26083, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"It is fit for a king or a czar;\nIt's luxurious, trendy and far\nToo expensive,\" he moaned,\n\"Even if it's pre-owned\u2014\nI just can't buy a Cadillac car.\"", "id": 26084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Even thinking of crossing the street\nMakes my face turn as white as a sheet.\nWhirling traffic's quick breeze\nSets my body to freeze\nMy enslaved, agyrophobic lead feet.", "id": 26085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An astute, perspicacious old colonel\nWrote impressions of life in his jolonel.\n\"I may seem like a crank;\nSure I value my rank,\nBut its spelling,\" he wrote, \"is infolonel!\"", "id": 26086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "Azoturia struck Mr. Ed;\nThe poor horse was confined to his bed.\nHe had in his pee a\nLarge glut of urea.\n\"And my hindquarters ail me,\" he said.", "id": 26087, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A soprano once said, in Milano,\nCappuccino atop her piano,\n\"It's my favorite swallow.\"\nBut I just couldn't follow\u2014\nWhere the swallows come from's Capistrano.", "id": 26088, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "My glaze has set hard in the bucket.\nIf I stir long and fast, with some luck it\nMight loosen by ten tonight.\nShould've used bentonite!\nAlas, it's too stiff\u2014I'll just chuck it.", "id": 26089, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Although carols are jubilant songs,\nEnglish ceorls formed freeholder throngs:\nA brick house in Maryland,\nPaid now, to Carol and\nDave, by fee simple, belongs.", "id": 26090, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For a vegan, the diet is beefless.\nWhen an arrow's been pulled, it is sheafless.\nIf you're hairless, you're bald,\nIn a state that's not called\nOne of aphylly\u2014that would mean \"leafless.\"", "id": 26091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"What's the matter, then?  You can tell me,\"\nHe enquired, avuncularly.\n\"Is it girlfriends' demands?\n'Uncle Stan' understands.\"\nThen I felt his right hand on my knee...", "id": 26092, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Of that country, I now see the bourne \u2014\nThe edge. Shall I cross it? I'm torn.\nWhat might travellers learn?\nWill they ever return?\nI'm unable to choose, and forlorn.", "id": 26093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "I've gone celibate, given up men.\nThough I've tried this again and again,\nThis time I've had nix\nSince the start of '06,\nAnd I've really not missed it since then.", "id": 26094, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "The cedar has red-colored wood;\nIt's fragrant and smells rather good.\nDeterring the moths\nFrom my very fine cloths,\nMy cedar chest does what it should.", "id": 26095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The Sisters of Suffering's Rule\nMeant subsistence on begging and gruel.\nThe Capuchin nun\nDidn't wanna have fun\u2014\nShe was so far from hip, she was cool!", "id": 26096, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Allopathical quacks, what do they know?\"\nScoffed a self-assured lady from Plano.\n\"The solution is clear:\nWe'll cure Dad's diarrhea\nWith a minuscule serving of Drano!\"", "id": 26097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "In her daughter's bed, Mom, who is prim,\nCatches sight of a masculine limb.\nShe cries, \"Surely that's not\nA young gentleman, Dot?\"\n\"One moment,\" says Dot, \"I'll ask him.\"", "id": 26098, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Aphrodisiac-makers demand\nThat Plato's Symposium be banned.\nIts claim that affection\nIs best sans erection\nDoes not help their market expand.", "id": 26099, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "I would so like my home to be aerier.\nI believe it would make my life merrier.\nBut to feel truly free,\nIt should be in a tree.\nAnd then how would I let out my terrier?", "id": 26100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Hey, Mister,\" Mack said, \"We're still hopin'\nThat our sister, back home, be elopin'.\nFor the rails on the ladder,\nBought nails. It don't matter\u2014\nThis damn blister pack, can't get it open!\"", "id": 26101, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Blofeld's girlfriend said, \"James, come to me;\nTie me up, twist my heart, spike my tea.\nA CIA fighter\nMight make demands lighter,\nBut bondage is better with thee.\"", "id": 26102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Old sailormen chronicle still\nThe adventures of Barnacle Bill.\nSince his manners were crude,\nAll the stories are lewd\nAnd they pack a hedonical thrill.", "id": 26103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "When lighting on stage or on screen,\nKeep the skin tones in balance. To clean\nUp the actors when light\nIs too far off of white,\nBastard amber will help set the scene.", "id": 26104, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "My bastard file, I must insist,\nIs kept in my tool chest. Resist\nThe temptation to think\nIt's those fellows who stink,\nAnd whose names I put down on a list.", "id": 26105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "With our cammocks we strike and advance,\nPassing swiftly with nary a glance\nAt defenders whose tricks\nInvolve slashing their sticks.\nWith these antics, they don't stand a chance.", "id": 26106, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "The Victoria's Secret clerk snickers\nAs gum-booted hicks in their slickers\nAsk to see the selection,\nFor Daisy's inspection,\nOf satin and lace camiknickers.", "id": 26107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Have you cattle you fear will get loose?\nWill your horse run away, hit the juice?\nThat young bull you won't lose,\nAnd that stud won't find booze,\nIf you latch up the gate on the boose.", "id": 26108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "As a critic, Ms Parker demoted\nAny book she thought overpromoted.\n\"I fwew up.\"  Her review\nSank Milne's Winnie the Pooh.\nSad to say, it has since been refloated.", "id": 26109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "Juneau 'bout my sister, Cheyenne?\nShe's Raleigh a Lincoln your plan.\nMay your Providence grace\nJust a Pierre at her face.\n(This is capital punishment, man!)", "id": 26110, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "The Brain, in uncountable scenes,\nCrafts a plan thanks to super-spliced genes.\nWhen his schemes for the world\nAre exposed or unfurled,\nHe'll cry, \"Pinky! You know what this means?!\"", "id": 26112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "With asynergy's bodily quirk,\nYou might feel like a mighty big jerk\nOr a spasm or tic\nMight well do the trick\nOf permitting your body to work.", "id": 26113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Though a cruel man might find it enjoyable\nThat the barbs of his wit are employable\nTo stir my black bile,\nI'm a man not to rile:\nAtrabilious (meaning \"annoyable\").", "id": 26115, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I hate to go bursting your bubble,\nBut light up in public?  That's trouble!\nAntismoking laws mean\nThey can ban nicotine,\nAnd for doobies, of course, that goes double.", "id": 26116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Unwisely, a couple canoed\nWhile undressed.  Their canoe was pursued\nBy a cannibal tribe,\nAnd their end I'll describe:\nThey were nude, viewed as lewd, stewed, and chewed.", "id": 26117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "At lunchtime today I was bent on\nComposing a ditty on Trenton,\nBut could not find a rhyme\u2014\nLike that earlier time,\nWhen I gave up on Thomas Hart Benton.", "id": 26118, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Caundle Marsh (northwest Dorset) is great\nIf it's crowds and confusion you hate.\nThe last census was done\nBack in 2001.\nPopulation: a cool 58.", "id": 26119, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Now my thirties have almost been spent\nAnd I wonder just where the years went.\nWhen I ponder their worth\nI reflect on the birth\nOf my children, with naught to repent.", "id": 26120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Though bostangi (boss-TAN-jee) were Turks\nWho were sometimes just smug little clerks,\nGuarding sultans whose palace\nCould seethe with sly malice\nMore often gave rise to their smirks.", "id": 26121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Why rhymy Y rhythms? Why try?\nMy syzygy's spry, by my cry.\nY's glyphs ply my syth,\nScry myrrhy-sylph myth \u2014\nShy sky nymphs fly spryly, by Y!", "id": 26123, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A thing that would sure make me gape, man,\nIs the sight of a well-preserved ape man.\nThey must have a few,\nBut they hide them from view:\nThat's government \u2014 too much red tape, man.", "id": 26124, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "\"We have to adjust to prevail,\"\nSays Bush, of Iraq. \"Mustn't fail.\"\nAnd so, four years older,\nStill shoulder to shoulder,\nBehold the two B's. What a tale!", "id": 26125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kevinrtaylor", "limerick": "\"My escutcheon\", the combatant snipes,\n\"Is not one of those flowery types\nSuch as shelly or starry;\nIt's plain simple barry,\nMeaning painted in parallel stripes.\"", "id": 26126, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "It sounds like a nod and a wink\nTo the waiter, to order a drink;\nBut this pattern of lines,\nCalled a bar code, defines\nEvery price tag, in stripes of black ink.", "id": 26127, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "You slouch, wretched Brit, round the fort\nAs if training and drill are as naught.\nAnd you drink till you're plastered,\nBritunculus bastard!\nYou'll jump when I file my report.", "id": 26128, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "Ambidextrous, yes, that's what I am\nAt tennis and badminton\u2014wham!\nI can smash day and night\nWith my left and my right.\nMy opponents despair, hissing \"Damn!\"", "id": 26129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Don't rile Jacqui, whatever you do,\nOr she'll try out her kendo on you.\nWith the blows and the cries\nOf her shinai surprise,\nYou will hear, as it hits you: \"Bam! Boo!\"", "id": 26130, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "These sex-hungry males you won't sever \u2014\nThey've teamed up to share the endeavour.\nThe stamen's adelphous:\nIt offers itself as\nA brother-in-cluster.  How clever!", "id": 26131, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Grinding pigments has made me neurotic,\nSo I'm taking an antipsychotic.\nDoes the drug make me faint\nBy the pulverized paint?\nOr is wilting at tint-mills quixotic?", "id": 26132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "I have slaved; now I champ at the bit.\nThey'll be marking me soon \u2014 this is it.\nI shall get it together,\nAll wrapped up in leather:\nI'm ready to bind and submit.", "id": 26133, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Red with rage, I phoned Orange support:\n\"Yellow there! Look, I'm not the green sort...\"\nThen I turned the air blue,\nWith some purple prose, too.\nThat's my autism spectrum, in short.", "id": 26134, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A baloo, a bruin, a bear:\nWhat toy to these beasts can compare?\nYour soft arctophilia\nCould hardly be sillier.\nYour Steiffs can get stuffed \u2014 full of hair.", "id": 26135, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Said the captain: \"Let's skip the ship's litany\nOn this leisure-cruise ferry to Brittany.\nSoft and cuddly is best.\nAs we nudge nearer Brest\nWe may stroke you; we're just being kitteny.\"", "id": 26136, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Through eyelets, I'm wanting to wheedle\nA shoelace.  I see the thread's feed'll\nBe eased by the taglet,\nThe aiglet or aglet\n(From French aiguillette, \"little needle\").", "id": 26137, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "It's a shade that is wont to depress\nFor, of lightness, there couldn't be less.\nAll this blackness means gloom \u2014\nLike Dundonian doom\nThat you'll find in the heart of Blackness.", "id": 26138, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "The steely gray crystals were twinned,\nAnd when hammered they broke toxic wind.\nMineralogy test:\nWell she needn't have guessed.\n\"Must be arsenopyrite,\" she grinned.", "id": 26139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "He, not one of your commonplace schnooks,\nTurns out TV and movies (not books).\nFrom the Borscht Belt to Broadway,\nThe fans all guffawed. Way\nTo go, comic genius Mel Brooks!", "id": 26140, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "When I want metal parts for my boat\nTo propel it or keep it afloat,\nThere are more pros than cons\nWith aluminum bronze\u2014\nNo corrosion will capture my vote.", "id": 26141, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "\"Oh, you shouldn't have!\" \u2014 that's just a ploy.\n\"I'm not worthy!\" \u2014 another decoy.\nWhen we say \"Oh, not me!\"\nThat's accismus \u2014 it's glee.\nWe're too coy to admit, \"It's a joy!\"", "id": 26142, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When a human's uncouth, coarse and rude,\nLacks good manners and chomps on his food,\nHe's a sort most unpleasant.\nFrom the Dutch word for peasant\nComes boor. He's not boring, just crude.", "id": 26143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "We divided the dough, making neat\nEven rows on our new baking sheet.\nBeing shiny and stainless,\nIt made cleanup painless\nOnce eating the treat was complete.", "id": 26144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Bitewing x-rays require stiff cardboard\nBe placed in your mouth, port and starboard.\nYou might beg, \"Docther, pleeth\nTake thith oud of my theeth!\"\nWhen your gums start to feel like a dartboard.", "id": 26145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Reliant upon an allelomorph,\nOne might be a giant or mellow dwarf,\nHave manners imprudent\nOr features protrudent\u2014\nLike that mutant tall adjutant fellow, Worf.", "id": 26146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Every action she takes is a breeze\u2014\nQuick to please, she agrees with great ease.\nSans chagrin under pressure,\nShe'll grin like a Cheshire;\nShe's blessed, well beyond a mere sneeze.", "id": 26147, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "If you locate a bottomless jar,\nFrozen desert or modern-day czar,\nNames that randomly changed,\nOr a creature deranged\u2014\nAll outlandish\u2014just brandish bizarre.", "id": 26148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "If afflicted by grave aglutition,\nIt's grueling to get good nutrition.\nUnable to swallow?\t\nUnstable? Feel hollow?\nI.V. fluids will start your ignition.", "id": 26149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "When it's time to give birth then I shall\nHope for ample room in the canal\nThrough which comes the fetus\nWho pops out to greet us\u2014\nInspiring, this change of locale!", "id": 26150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "The way Ginger Gold apple-polished\nHer elders should well be abolished.\nBut what does it matter? She\nKnows her false flattery\nLeaves disagreements demolished.", "id": 26151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Brussels sprouts\u2014yellow tinged, on the fringe\nOf what's edible\u2014just make me cringe.\nOn them no one could binge\nAnd dessert should not hinge;\nI'd rather be fed by syringe.", "id": 26152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Fresh fruit, when pureed in the blender,\nWill satisfy deeply. Surrender!\nGet ready to coat\nFirst your tongue, then your throat\nWith a smoothie, to quench thirst in splendor.", "id": 26153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Incrementally's how you might fit,\nPiece by piece, all the parts in a kit.\nIt's how saplings form trees\nAnd raw milk turns to cheese:\nOver time, by degrees, bit by bit.", "id": 26154, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "I promise to you I'll bequeath,\nFrom the heavens to Earth underneath,\nThe lighthearted glow\nOf folks in the know\nAnd a full set of thirty-two teeth.", "id": 26155, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Poems penned in the mode of blank verse\nTend to bend standard code and disperse\nRules for rhyme (none residing);\nJust meter abiding,\nWith measurements epic to terse.", "id": 26156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "The MP has complacently fed\nUs the super-sized junk in his head:\nHis lies on inflation\nAnd kids' education\nAllied as he lies on his bed.", "id": 26157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "In a myth you may read of strange creatures,\nHalf human, half goat in their features,\nAnd sooner or later,\nYou'll see the term satyr\nOr capripede\u2014so say my teachers.", "id": 26158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Some carollers came to my door\nSinging songs, but this Christmassy corps\nDidn't come in December;\nThe month was September,\nGiving rise to my giving what for.", "id": 26159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some plants that are called beggar's-lice\nSpread their fruit in a way that's not nice.\nThey're adherent, with prickles\nThat hurt like the dickles;\nAvoid them (my expert advice).", "id": 26160, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Apolaustic: devoted to pleasure,\nEntertainment and joy without measure.\nSince I'd sound like a critic\nIf I said sybaritic,\nIt's a word in our language I treasure.", "id": 26161, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Eye candy is often a feast.\nIt is beauty that brings us, at least,\nSomething sweet to admire;\nBut I'm bound to inquire\nWhy it's so often paired with the beast.", "id": 26162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She burns brightly, like charcoal briquettes;\nShe's as sexy as anyone gets.\nA cachucha she dances,\nInspiring romances\u2014\nHearts race as she plays castanets.", "id": 26163, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The butterfish, not too much fun, 'll\nLook slippery, and every one'll\nFeel slimy when caught,\nSo the fisherman ought\nTo remove all the skin from his gunnel.", "id": 26164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Antibrachial region implies\nNot your hips, nor your legs, nor your thighs.\nIf you look down at your arm\nAnd notice the forearm,\nYou've taken it in with your eyes.", "id": 26165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Tell me, how do you spell ankylosis?\nIt is A-N-C-H-Y-L-osis.\nBut there's no k in sight.\nCould it really be right?\n(English spelling can lead to psychosis!)", "id": 26166, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An astrograph helps us to start\nConstructing an accurate chart\nOf the stars, as they light\nUp the heavens at night;\nCurve of altitude sets each apart.", "id": 26167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the drink that is brewed from the bean\nThere's a stimulant people find keen.\nIt's consumed by the folks\nWho drink Pepsis and Cokes.\nCan you figure which compound I mean?", "id": 26168, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I decided to find a new man.\nBush league baseball was part of my plan.\nAt the game I met Paul\nWhen we chased a foul ball\u2014\nMeeting fellas is catch-as-catch-can.", "id": 26169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cagney's acting came straight from the heart.\nHe was master of cinema's art;\nAnd all calls he would answer,\nFor gangster or dancer.\nGeorge Cohan? Perhaps his best part.", "id": 26170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First caviler, then cavalier;\nOne's a gentleman lover.  It's queer:\nWhile a caviler quibbles,\nCavaliers enjoy nibbles\nOf the lobe of a lady-love's ear.", "id": 26171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Are you hungry? Well, I'm in the mood\nFor some hot cafeteria food.\nSince the place is self-service,\nTry not to get nervous,\n'Cause dropping your tray would be rude.", "id": 26172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I felt bad when my Finnish friend Fred\nBecame bald and was sad, so I said,\n\"Bro, I won't steer you wrong.\nLet your eyebrows grow long,\nAnd then comb them back over your head!\"", "id": 26173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In expanding his real estate spaciously,\nHe bought up the parcels voraciously.\nHe was rude and uncouth\nAnd he played with the truth\u2014\nNot just fibbing, but lying bodaciously.", "id": 26174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cachaca's a rum from Brazil's\nBack-street factories, where there are stills\nThat produce this raw stuff.\nJust one shot is enough\u2014\nTo cure (or create) all your ills.", "id": 26175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was named Apocrisiary, when\nThe old Pope lacked an envoy, and then\nReaching Constantinople\nAs nuncio, pope-al,\nDid business, and came back again.\t", "id": 26176, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Calabaza's a Mexican squash.\nIt is simple\u2014not flashy or posh,\nBut it's cheap and nutritious,\nAnd also delicious.\nI'll cook up a batch with panache!", "id": 26177, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Using phrases in Latin adds class.\nIn my coursework, it helps me to pass.\nThe effect isn't gruesome;\nI use 'em ad usum\u2014\nI'm never thrown out on my ass.", "id": 26178, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A desire that is out of control,\nCacoethes, in life, plays a role.\nIf you're feeling the surge\nOf a powerful urge,\nYou can splurge and make pleasure your goal.", "id": 26179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Perhaps it's a quirk of psychology\nThat people believe in astrology.\nThough some are aghast\nWhen a horoscope's cast,\nAn apotelesm needs no apology.", "id": 26180, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "The director wants fame everlasting;\nAt auditions, his temper is blasting.\nEvery seeker of work?\nAn Iranian jerk!\nThose aren't ass Persians he's casting.", "id": 26181, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In my limericks, anapest flows;\nFrom one line to the other it goes.\nIt is araphorostic,\nAnd though I'm agnostic,\nMy worship of seamlessness grows.", "id": 26182, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Say it \"CAOUtchouc\" or say it \"caouTCHOUC\";\nIt is blubbery, rubbery gook.\nCool it down; take an ounce\u2014\nYou will find it has bounce.\nJust the name seems the game of a kook!", "id": 26183, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"Be a cameraman,\" Grandfather said,\n\"It's a job where you make lots of bread.\nYou are young and you're smart;\nYou've a talent for art.\nMake a start; use your heart and your head!\"", "id": 26184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"A new species!\" taxonomist Rohmer\nAnnounced. \"Now I've sure hit a homer!\"\nBut in place of success\nWas disgrace and duress;\n'Twas a caconym\u2014yes, a misnomer.", "id": 26185, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "When you've lived through a hundred long years\nYou've experienced most of man's fears.\nWar and peace, love and strife,\nBirth and death\u2014parts of life\u2014\nAre the stage for a century's tears.", "id": 26186, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When we rose from primordial slime,\nRocks of granite, and sandstone, and lime\nHad emerged from the chthonic,\nAt times allochronic\n(Not the same geological time).", "id": 26187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Groups of muscles oppose one another.\nIf unequal (or so says my brother),\nAnisosthenic, they're pairs\nThat may fight like two mares,\nBut one still overpowers the other.", "id": 26188, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "You're a perfectly pure intellectual.\nYour excitement derives from what's textual.\nYou avoid porno media,\nAnd you help Wikipedia.\nNo libido? You may be asexual.", "id": 26189, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Evil Loki shot Balder the Good\nWith an arrow of mistletoe wood.\nWhen her cherished son died,\nAll the tears Frigga cried\nTurned to berries of white where she stood.", "id": 26191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "For dieters, celery sticks\nUnadorned are quite often their picks.\nFor me, they're unutt'rable\nUnless peanut-butt'rable.\nEven then, they'll provoke many \"icks.\"", "id": 26192, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Climbing up to the turret's a hassle,\nBut it gives a great view of your castle.\nBe wise and don't gloat\nYou live over the moat,\nLest you rankle your serf or your vassal.", "id": 26193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "O-E-D-I-L-F, go team go!\nWriter's block is a terrible foe!\nYour limerick, exhort it!\nDon't ever abort it!\nYour wit is the star of our show!", "id": 26194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "Adamawa-Ubangi, a group\nOf languages\u2014here's the straight scoop:\nFrom Bua to Zande,\nSudanese find them handy.\nThere are one-fifty-nine, quite a troop.", "id": 26196, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and mephistopheles", "limerick": "He's a calamist: one of the breed\nThat plays on a pipe with a reed,\nNot a columnist whose\nCalamitous views\nInclude calumnies meant to mislead.", "id": 26197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The bugs that we'll probably meet'll\nBe crunchy, while those that we eat'll\nBe anelytrous things\nHaving membranous wings,\nNot the elytron shell of a beetle.", "id": 26198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While a serpent is scary enough,\nAs it's grown from unmagical stuff,\n\"There be worms,\" you insist,\nClaiming dragons exist,\nHeart aflutter in terror of Puff.", "id": 26199, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Clean living accounts for why Benny'll\nSurvive to his birthday centennial.\nHe would celebrate now,\nBut he doesn't know how.\nWho will come to his party?  Not many'll.", "id": 26200, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Adamians, who thought it was fine\nTo sit in the buff and drink wine,\nTo the Church's \"Don't dare!\"\nSaid, \"It's human to wear,\nBut foregoing is starkly divine.\"", "id": 26201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Once an anthracothere wallowed in\nPrimeval swamps up to its chin.\nIt is most hard to think\nThat this beast is a link\n'Tween the whale and the hippo\u2014they're kin.", "id": 26202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Armchair pilots are those who don't fly,\nSo the Air Force must bid them goodbye.\nIf your skills as a flyer\nAren't what they desire,\nYou shouldn't \"set foot\" in the sky.", "id": 26203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I'm sick of this horrible war,\nAnd I long for how life was before:\nTo see newspapers printin'\nHow President Clinton\nWas caught with his pants down once more.", "id": 26204, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "You've a bontebok?  Goodness, take care!\nThis South African antelope's rare!\nWith its dark reddish coat\nAnd white rump, you should note,\nWhen you walk it your neighbors will stare.", "id": 26205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "Who's had an affair? Go ask Gwen.\nShe'll tell you all who, where and when.\nBusybody? To wit,\nGwen, that gossipy twit\nHas her telescope aimed at my den!", "id": 26206, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DaveD", "limerick": "The boatyard is where they build boats.\nIt's where the old sea cap'n gloats,\n\"Argh! 'Tis three years today,\nSince I done ran away\nWith me missus' red foxfur-lined coats!\"", "id": 26207, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Cave hyenas have long been extinct.\nIn describing them, let's be succinct:\nMany fossils today\nAre in England, but they\nTo their African kin have been linked.", "id": 26208, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "My mom has a cedar-lined closet.\nThe moths flitter elsewhere because it\nKeeps insects away\nWith its fragrant bouquet,\nAnd it saves woollen clothes, I shall posit.", "id": 26209, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "Tycho Brahe, that star-gazing Dane,\nGot a nose job for free. I'll explain:\nHe got into a duel\nWith a rival from school,\nWho sliced off a piece\u2014what a pain!", "id": 26210, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "The substance called blende's not a drink.\nIt's part sulfur, which means it might stink.\nIt's the brownish-black ore\nOf some metal\u2014want more?\nYou can figure it out if you zinc.", "id": 26211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A decider decides what to do,\nAnd a causer will carry it through.\nThe deciders are lying,\nThe causers are dying \u2014\nHow sad that the world's so askew.", "id": 26212, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Acmeism: Through stark and straight thought\nA more structured directness was sought,\nSo that poetry might\nShine a blazing clear light\nThrough the clouds that the symbolists wrought.", "id": 26213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Here's some commonplace, vegetable lore:\nSee this lovely big cabbage? Ignore\nAll the leaves and the roots\nAnd the little green shoots.\nTake the pith; that's the castock, the core.", "id": 26214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "One likes dolls, and the other a bike?\nOne's called Susie, the other is Mike?\nSince, inside you, they grew\nNot from one egg, but two,\nYour binovular twins aren't alike.", "id": 26215, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Just what is the OEDILF ambition?\nTo strive to imbue each submission\nWith humour and jokes?\nBut more crucially, folks,\nIt must give a good definition.", "id": 26216, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm sad;\nSurely all of my limericks aren't bad?\nI write twenty per day,\nSo, pretty please, pray\nTake a look, or I'll really get mad.", "id": 26217, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Dear Catherine went out for a chat\nOn the balcony up in her flat,\nBut was feeling unwell,\nMissed the railing, and fell,\nCatastrophically ending with splat.", "id": 26218, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "paulthompson", "limerick": "On the first of July, feasts are fiery:\nCanadians say, \"This is why we\nBecame what we are.\nThis dominion's come far.\nNow you Canada Day to your diary!\"", "id": 26219, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "You blame the black ice you can't see\nFor wrapping your car 'round a tree.\nThe cop shakes his head\nAnd suggests that instead\nYour speed was a hundred and three.", "id": 26220, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Blue Java bananas \u2014 how neat!\nThey have silvery skin and taste sweet.\nThey taste (it's a dream)\nLike vanilla ice cream,\nSo as snack food, they just can't be beat.", "id": 26221, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Take opopanax, galbanum, pitch \u2014\nStir in resin and oil so rich.\nDon't need an appointment\nFor basilicon ointment:\nTreats your cut and your burn and your itch.", "id": 26222, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "The doctor said, \"Listen up, nurse:\nSpeak English next time we converse.\nWhen I ask how's his bladder,\nDon't tell me it's badder\nWhen\u2014clearly\u2014you mean that it's worse.\"", "id": 26224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Anticounterfeiting designs\nMay include special inks and fine lines.\nIf the money you copy\nTurns out to be sloppy,\nYou'll be facing steel bars and stiff fines.", "id": 26225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Cantal is a fine mountain cheese,\nMade by Gauls with their lait expertise.\nAnd it earned the applause\nOf King Louis Quatorze:\n'This cheese,' he said, 'doesn't displease.'", "id": 26226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Baltic Amber, from pine forests old,\nFormed as time and the icy seas rolled.\nIt's cast up by the tide,\nWorked and polished with pride,\nAnd then sold as the famed 'Baltic Gold'.", "id": 26227, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mr. Parx", "limerick": "Her cocktail, it seemed, was absinthiated,\nHer syllables undifferentiated.\nShe lost mental clarity\nAnd debated a parrot. He\nQuestioned her verity...and then she ate it.", "id": 26228, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Fred Harris", "limerick": "I frequently wonder why God\nCreated the cephalopod.\nIt has to be said\nThat with limbs round his head\nAnd no body, poor sod, 'e looks odd!", "id": 26229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "The acetyl value's the weight\nOf the potash that's used to abate\nAll the acid in fat\nWhich was hydrolised (that\nIs a fact that I'll gladly relate).", "id": 26230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Your honest responses will lead\nThis committee in word and in deed.\nWe have no use for posers\nNor sneaky brown-nosers.\nYour candor is just what we need!", "id": 26231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "Where amorousness is concerned,\nThere is many an ear that has burned\nWith a story of lust\nThat has bitten the dust\nWhen the treacherous worm has returned.", "id": 26232, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hwindle", "limerick": "A celesta's a keyboard with zing\u2014\nFelted hammers strike steel plates and ping.\nIt's a musical treat\nIn the Nutcracker Suite\nWhen the Sugar-Plum Fairy takes wing.", "id": 26233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chaiwallah", "limerick": "A fellow I met, looking low,\nSaid, \"I really dunno, I dunno.\"\nWhen I asked, \"Is this true?\"\nHe replied, \"Wish I knew.\nI'm bewildered, I guess. Does it show?\"", "id": 26234, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "His ma dunked Achilles\u2014expected\nOld Styx would play shield\u2014but neglected\nTo wet where she held\nNear his heel. He was felled,\nThough \"protected.\" Thus flaws get detected . . .", "id": 26235, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A cattleship won't stop at ports\nThat are known for their fancy resorts.\nOn board are just cows;\nThere's no chance to carouse,\nNo fine dining or shuffleboard courts.", "id": 26236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "When I'm done with my business, I flush.\nThen I get down to business \u2014 no rush.\nI plan business vacations\nFor large corporations;\nBut it's none of your business, so hush.", "id": 26237, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "My fish tale \u2014 I thought people bought\nIt hook, line, and sinker.  Distraught,\nI came to find out\nThat they knew all about\nMy big lie; it was I who was caught.", "id": 26238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Misguided \u2014 arresting the young\nFor acid drops placed on the tongue.\nWhen the cops found out we\nDidn't do LSD\nBut did lemony drops, we got sprung.", "id": 26239, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "Alca torda, the shorebird, is last\nOf its kind that can swoop the seas vast.\nThough it's scooping up krill\nWith its blunt razorbill,\nAlca's richness was all in the past.", "id": 26240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "Acrisorcin's a cure for a yeast\nThat drops in on your skin for a feast.\nIt's nasty in tots:\nBleaches skin into spots.\nBut the treatment won't hurt in the least.", "id": 26241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My! The house you've been building looks grand!\nAre you sure it's been built where you planned?\nIf you measure the plot,\nYou'll find I own the lot,\nFor the building accedes to the land.", "id": 26242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "I've now gone from a cast to a cane,\nAfter hobbling for months in some pain.\nThe damned thing is a curse,\nBut without it, it's worse\u2014\n'Cause three legs over two is a gain.", "id": 26243, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "Beware mother moose with a calf;\nShe is faster than humans by half.\nShe can dart 'round a tree\nWith such speed you should see,\nAnd climb up on your truck\u2014that's no laugh!", "id": 26244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "As the changes of puberty near,\nThe breast bud is first to appear.\nA small swelling is seen\nIn the female pre-teen,\nFor her childhood, the final frontier.", "id": 26245, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "At this lively and loud celebration\u2014\nA social affair that is Haitian\nAnd called a bamboche\u2014\nI imagine it's gauche\nNot to sing and to dance with elation.", "id": 26246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "My back aches, my wrist's really sore\nAnd my knee's not too good. Then what's more,\nDid I mention my heart?\nBut please, don't let me start\nOn my ailments, all which I deplore.", "id": 26247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "A disposer of bombs, I. B. Ferrer,\nHas ways to discourage their terror.\nTheir timers restarted,\nHe gets the bombs carted\nTo bombers' proud mommies in error.", "id": 26248, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Into, once, the polluted old Thames\nFell two jewel-encrusted drunk femmes.\nAlimentary waste\nSlowly turned them to paste,\nA sad fate that they shared with their gems.", "id": 26249, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "On a breathless hot day, Mother took\nA small chicken, quite young by its look.\nMama's oven glowed red\nFrom the heat overhead.\nOh, my! How that broiler could cook.", "id": 26250, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "If you can't solve a problem, expand it.\nDemand an enlargement. Command it.\nWhat else could explain\nDubya's bellicose reign\nOf great terror and shame? Please disband it.", "id": 26251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "When walking onstage with the cello,\nMy body starts turning to jello.\nMy palms are all sweaty,\nMy legs like spaghetti \u2014\nI must tune out my fear and get mellow.", "id": 26252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "The LDS Mormons endeavor\nTo join up two people forever.\nThough celestial marriage\nI should not disparage,\nI think there are ties death should sever.", "id": 26253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Is there something you hate to be near?\nDon't avoid it. You must persevere.\nIf a phobia's faced,\nThen it can be erased,\nBut avoidance exacerbates fear.", "id": 26254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "What a blash on the way to the pub!\nI'm wet through, I need beer, and some grub.\nBut the ale's watered-down\n(It's not even pale brown);\nHow I wish I was home in the tub.", "id": 26255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "On a wet winter's day\u2014quite mundane\u2014\nAt the bus stop, I stood in the rain.\nThen this wonderful fella\nSaid, \"Share my umbrella.\"\nNow we're married, and so we'll remain.", "id": 26256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It's a bus stop, where buses may pause\nTo disgorge weary souls from their jaws.\nOther folks get onboard,\nJoin the sardine-packed horde;\nYes, it's transport\u2014with too many flaws.", "id": 26257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Antisatellite systems destroy\nWhat the world spent a lot to deploy.\nAll the sputniks that spout\nAll those sitcoms throughout\nAll our nights, fallen silent. Enjoy!", "id": 26258, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "You'll find cannibal doctors in there,\nAnd a suit made of skin, if you dare.\nI'd rather not hector,\nBut caveat lector:\nTom Harris's readers, beware!", "id": 26259, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A mother and malt-whisky-trialler\nSet foot on the island of Islay\nTo sample some Bowmore\nUntil there was no more\u2014\nThe 12-year-old sure did beguile 'er.", "id": 26260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A malt whisky taster and sniffer\nLiked snifters that little bit stiffer\nThan boring ol' blends:\n\"You may like 'em, my friends,\"\nHe would banter, \"but Ardbeg to differ.\"", "id": 26261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "On suspecting a heart attack's start,\nCheck the pulse, breathing too; then impart\nCPR's application\nWithout hesitation,\nOr swiftly a life will depart.", "id": 26262, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "What this abietine is, who can tell?\nIt is tasteless, and worse, has no smell.\nBut at least you can see it.\nAnd the way you can free it?\nHot alcohol turns it to gel.", "id": 26263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "In the Pleistocene age, in a cave,\nDwelt a bear it is too late to save.\nFor the Ursus spelaeus\nHas gone \u2014 he won't see us.\nHe's extinct; his domain, now his grave.", "id": 26264, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "Noisy neighbors upstairs play CDs\nOn their boombox. Lord, stifle it, please!\nCompact discs pound my head\nWith the music I dread.\nMy poor eardrums are pierced like Swiss cheese.", "id": 26265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The attainment of physical beauty,\nTo Greeks, was each citizen's duty.\nCallipygian is what\nThey considered a butt\nLike Beyonc\u00e9's bodacious patootie.", "id": 26267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This task for you fellas must be\nQuite a burden. (Most wives would agree.)\nWhen you go to the john,\nFlex those muscles\u2014go on,\nLift the seat before taking a pee!", "id": 26268, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In this realm of the knight and the peer,\nWhere refinement and polish are dear,\nMen are suave and urbane\nAnd don't deign to complain\nOver trifles\u2014we don't cavil 'ere.", "id": 26269, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The station I usually play\nHere in Pittsburgh, PA, every day\n(Not just once in a while)\nOn my radio dial\nHas the call letters KDKA.", "id": 26270, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My indifference betokens callosity,\nAnd my arrogance outright pomposity.\nIt comes off as a joke\nWhen I ask any bloke\nWhy my actions evoke animosity.", "id": 26271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "These containers hold objects and stuff,\nLike your sugar, paprika, or snuff.\nIn my kitchen at home\nThere's a canister (chrome)\nWith a tag on it: \"Marshmallow Fluff.\"", "id": 26272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The mosquitoes are getting hellacious!\nTheir craving for blood is voracious.\nWe need a repellent\nThat's gummily gellant\nAnd able to smell camphoraceous.", "id": 26273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Aeromedical problems include\nThe disorders of health and of mood\nThat arise when you're flying.\nThe worst are those trying\nEncounters with godawful food.", "id": 26274, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bricole is a shot with the cue ball\nThat targets, for instance, the two-ball,\nBut first hits the eight,\nThen a cushion\u2014a great\nTrick in pool, quite an out-the-wazoo ball.", "id": 26275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bioregional limits are set\nBy topography\u2014mountains beget\nBiological creatures\nWith boreal features,\nLike hair on the yaks of Tibet.", "id": 26276, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An Indian's groin takes a knock,\nLeaving ducts so engorged they're a shock.\nHis physician suspects\nHe has bullous effects.\n\"Them's my Seminole vesicles, doc!\"", "id": 26277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When the ring in your bathtub has come\nTo be harder to clean and you're glum,\nAdd a softener right\nTo the water each night.\nThey say Calgon eliminates scum.", "id": 26278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Arizona, the battleship, rests\nIn Pearl Harbor, at peace, and attests\nTo the terrible cost\nOf a thousand men lost\nWith no medals to pin on their chests.", "id": 26279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Today's match-up for Duke? UNC.\n(They're the Tarheels, as dumb as can be.)\nI'm a Blue Devil fan;\nAround here, I'm the man!\n(This is Cameron and tip-off's at 3.)", "id": 26280, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "When you're gone for a spell, say, at school,\nAnd your mom sends a care package, you'll\nFind a medley of treats\nSuch as toys, books, and sweets.\nFor your body and spirit, it's fuel.", "id": 26281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "From England to France, every day,\nMany ferries depart for Calais.\nWhile you're traveling over\nThe channel from Dover,\nStay away from the luncheon buffet.", "id": 26282, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "When quarriers pull out a slice\nThat's like granite, but will not suffice,\nThat chunk of the planet\nIs called bastard granite.\n(Sounds rude, but it's probably gneiss.)", "id": 26283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "Said Queen Katherine, \"My lovelife erratic\nMeans I'm heading for downfall emphatic;\nHope at nine of the clock,\nWhen my head's on the block,\nMy oblivion's axiomatic.\"", "id": 26284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Our study on warfare that's tribal's\nA shocker, so get out those Bibles:\nThere's a Philistine plot,\nAnd a girl who's red hot,\nAnd a strongman, who loses his eyeballs.", "id": 26285, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "When your mind's on that old beaten track\nAnd you just can't face hitting the sack;\nWhen you've had too much booze\nAnd you're full of the blues,\nThen it's time for the old Man in Black.", "id": 26286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Atomarium: room with a view\nOf a real atomarium.  You\nWill see on display\nA reactor that they\nHave installed for the public. Woo Hoo!", "id": 26287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "King Arthur encountered a fellow\nWho was known for his backbone of Jell-O\nAnd lack of acumen.\n\"I dub thee Sir Rumen\u2014\nLike earwax, you're thick and you're yellow.\"", "id": 26288, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"Like a fish\" is the phrase to describe\nHow they drink in the Carides tribe.\nShrimp and prawns are enamored\nOf drinking 'til hammered\u2014\nThe decapod way to imbibe.", "id": 26289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My hook I've no problem controlling;\nThat sphere looks so fine when it's rolling.\nThe pins, though, won't fall,\nSo I'm chucking it all,\nAnd the ball's first to go.  No more bowling!", "id": 26290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Those shameless campaigners will bandy\nTheir claims\u2014underhanded, they'll candy\nThe plans they're promoting\nIn sugary coating,\nThus making them out to seem dandy.", "id": 26291, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A calculated risk is one planned\nUsing forethought and vigilance, and\nIt's a choice one has made\nHaving carefully weighed\nAll the probable outcomes at hand.", "id": 26292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "Is capital punishment fair?\nSince you've killed, is your life fit to spare?\nLet's discuss for a bit\u2014\nOnly one place to sit?\nI'll just stand\u2014I say you get the chair.", "id": 26293, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "A cartable load could be carted\nIn that cart that abruptly departed,\nBut it's empty instead,\nFor the carthorses fled\nBefore loading the cart ever started.", "id": 26294, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "He's old-fashioned, or worse, antimodern:\nGoes hunting in fields that are sodden;\nSeeks olden-day glories;\nHates more than four storeys;\nKeeps working-class people downtrodden.", "id": 26295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My antenna-wire's glowing\u2014seems dire.\nThat's my warning\u2014it's St. Elmo's fire.\nSee that storm off the stern?\nIf there's lightning, we'll burn,\nAnd I'll drift out to sea on my pyre.", "id": 26296, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That Goldilocks vandal should pay!\nShe's behaved in a scandalous way,\nBeing rude to those poor bears.\nThat cub and his forebears\nShowed too much forbearance, I'd say.", "id": 26297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When bathers parade though the parish\nIn swimsuits excessively barish,\nAnd they shortly die frozen\nFrom over-exposin',\nThe headlines are suitably garish.", "id": 26298, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "'Tis getting on time to go beddy.\nI am girded and totally ready.\nNow accinct and prepared,\nTo my room I have fared\nWith my blankie, my jammies and Teddy.", "id": 26299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A poodle leapt into a puddle,\nHer mudpuppy prey to befuddle.\nShe submerged with a thud,\nThen emerged from the mud\nAll befuddled, confused, in a muddle.", "id": 26300, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "My aim, it is clear: to befog,\nSo you feel like your head's in a bog.\nMy motive's impure,\nFor I live to obscure.\nYou do not need to know; you're a cog.", "id": 26301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Near the altar stood Father McPhail\nBlessing celebrants up at the rail.\nThough he's quite a fine pastor,\nI wish he'd go faster.\nWhile waiting, the Host will go stale.", "id": 26302, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The neem extract azadirachtin\nIn spray repels mites. (It's fast-actin'.)\nAnd if you're infested,\nYou should be divested;\nThe itchin' can be quite distractin'.", "id": 26303, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "For a tough piece of meat, like a brisket,\nYou could grill it, but I wouldn't risk it.\nCook it slow, let it braise,\nAnd your meal will meet praise.\nYou can sop up the juice with a biscuit.", "id": 26304, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "When experts say wine is amusing,\nIt's a compliment.  Ain't that confusing?\nWhy laugh at a wine\nIf you think that it's fine?\nMethinks they do far too much boozing.", "id": 26305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Edith Cavell was guilty, it's true.\nShe'd helped hundreds of soldiers get through\nAnd escape from the Hun\nTo survive World War One.\nThen in death, she helped England anew.", "id": 26306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "It's the term for the log getting hewed,\nBut may also refer to what's viewed\nWhen the chopping's all finished:\nThe log's now diminished,\nBut bolts, short and round, have accrued.", "id": 26307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "My friend Peter would go on a spree,\nPhoning people, pretending to be\nThe lottery folks,\nBut his cash-award jokes\nWere thwarted by caller ID.", "id": 26308, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "A garage with no door and no wall:\nThere's a roof on a carport, that's all.\nThough this certainly leaves\nFewer hurdles for thieves,\nIt protects when the hail starts to fall.", "id": 26309, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "Adosculation may be your salvation\nIf you feel reproductive temptation\nBut are lost at the start,\nCan't get part into part:\nNo insertion, but still impregnation.", "id": 26310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As they smooched in a fern bar,  she saw\nAdenophorus ferns; felt such awe,\nSquealed, \"My botany teacher\nWould love these! I'll reach her\nBy cell now,\"  which stuck in his craw.", "id": 26311, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Here are barfulous things in a list:\nFirst, a pus-filled sebaceous-type cyst,\nSummer roadkill's putrescence,\nA diaper's rank essence\u2014\nThese all make me retch! Get the gist?", "id": 26312, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Is he planning another campaign?\nShock-and-awe stuff all over again?\n\"Let's topple that man\nWho's now running Iran!\"\nIt is plain that the plan is insane.", "id": 26313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "Exposed by the press and TV,\nCelebrity never comes free,\nAnd when privacy lost\nIs the ultimate cost,\nWho'd want to be famous?  Not me.", "id": 26314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Scott Campisi", "limerick": "Two goths down in South Transylvania\nWith acute cacodemonomania\nNow are under arrest,\nBut they swear they're possessed\nBy a devil at large in their crania.", "id": 26315, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Meps Schulte", "limerick": "The time was high noon, on the dot,\nSo I slathered on sunscreen \u2014 a lot.\nThen I put on dark shades,\nAnd a hat o'er my braids,\n'Cause the sun was so brilliantly hot.", "id": 26316, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Doctor Kern says to spurn coffee urns:\n\"'Like a red, red rose', scalded skin turns.\"\nThough she's not an M.B.,\nHer Scots Lit Ph.D.\nMakes her expert in third-degree Burns.", "id": 26317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The word buzzword is often a jibe\nAt a concept that's hard to describe\nOr ineffably dull,\nOr whose meaning is null \u2014\nWhose nomenclature strives for a vibe.", "id": 26318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "That quaint little place on the Am\nKnown as Ambridge is sadly a sham.\nDespite folks' addiction,\nThe Archers are fiction,\nAs false as the great Derby Ram.", "id": 26319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In the Boston Molasses Disaster,\nMolasses kept rushing right past 'er.\n(She wouldn't have stuck\nIn the syrupy muck\nIf she only had run a bit faster.)", "id": 26320, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "If we only could process and bottle\nAll the wisdom of great Aristotle.\nWe could drink to be wise\nAnd IQs would all rise,\nBut most folks couldn't care, not a jottle.", "id": 26321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Rain outside.  Guess I knew what her face meant\nWhen I came up the stairs from the basement.\n\"It's the window!\" she cried.\n\"We've got weather inside!\"\nCan't avoid it \u2014 we need a new casement.", "id": 26322, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "\"Would you stomp on a Rubens like that?\"\nThe calcographer yelled as he sat\nWith his opus in chalk\nOn the pavement. \"Don't walk\nOn my art\u2014throw a coin in my hat!\"", "id": 26323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I am bothered, which means I'm upset\nBy a problem I can't seem to get\nSorted out. Yes, I'm stressed;\nI feel nervous, depressed,\nIll at ease, all wound up, in a sweat.", "id": 26324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Can a stream be beheaded? You bet\u2014\nWhen its headwaters suffer upset\nAnd are subject to smother\n(Usurped by another)\u2014\nIt's left pirated, headless, all wet!", "id": 26325, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "When I start an affair with a guy\nI feel cherished, adored, on a high.\nThen he starts to ignore me,\nBerate me and bore me.\nSoon that lovely love fades. Tell me, why?", "id": 26326, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"Belt and braces,\" I said to my son.\n\"You just can't be too careful. Have fun\nWhen you're riding your bike,\nOr you're taking a hike,\nBut remember: you're my only one.\"", "id": 26327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I've shot lions and tigers, giraffes,\nAnd gorillas and hippos \u2014 for laughs.\nBut please spare me the blame,\nFor when I shoot big game\nIt's on perfectly framed photographs.", "id": 26328, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "He's a secret that our family keep,\nOur ne'er-to-be-mentioned black sheep.\nWhy do we insist\nThat he doesn't exist?\nI can't tell you... the trauma's too deep.", "id": 26329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "If you get into rough confrontations\nWith Mafia organizations,\nSome river you'll meet\nWith your feet in concrete\n(Mobsters' way of cementing relations).", "id": 26330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Curving's convenient for vines\nAs they twist in the midst of the pines.\nOther plants, such as cress,\nOnly bend in distress.\nAutotropic, they grow in straight lines.", "id": 26331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "In conventional ways I'm not glamorous,\nBut my groupies call out to me, \"Hammer us\nWith your rollicking rhyme.\nWe have such a good time\nThat we feel very loving and amorous.\"", "id": 26332, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Once I put three dry leaves in my stew,\nTo let bay's pungent flavor shine through.\nBut when it was cooked,\nThough I looked and I looked,\nI could only remove the first two.", "id": 26333, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "Princess Margaret once had a beau,\nBut alas could she marry him? No.\nMaggie's man was divorced\nSo that poor \"bird\" was forced\nTo fly off feeling sorrow and woe.", "id": 26334, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Scoliosis turns spines into S's.\nOne cure uses pressure and stresses.\nAbbott's method requires\nLong tight straps, pads and wires\nUnder shirts, blouses, sweaters and dresses.", "id": 26335, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"The comedian wasn't amusing,\"\nSaid the patron. \"In fact, he's confusing.\nI never once laughed.\nAll his jokes were quite daft,\nAnd for most of the show, I was snoozing.\"", "id": 26336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "Mister Pablo Casals played the cello\nLike an angel. His tones were so mellow.\nPeople treasured his tunes.\nHe defied Franco's goons.\nHe had courage. He never was yellow.", "id": 26337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Chef Pierre took a sip. His lips pursed.\nThen he frowned, shook his head, spat and cursed:\n\"Zis 'ere allemande sauce\nIss too sick for zis course\u2014\nIt 'as taken a turn fur ze Wurst!\"", "id": 26338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Mailed out twenty-four bucks, ninety-eight;\nTales of Lust! Will it warrant the wait?\nWhen it showed up, I'd never\nSeen a book this thin, ever;\n'Twas tame, in its bowdlerized state.", "id": 26339, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A slouching young weakling from Purley\nBegan to get up bright and early,\nTo exercise hard\nIn his little back yard,\nAnd began to get upright and burly.", "id": 26340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A bright cadmium yellow pale paint\nWill allow you to show no restraint\nIn the lemons you draw,\nThat young goldfinch you saw,\nOr the halo above a great saint.", "id": 26341, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "He sold snake oil with glib peroration;\nLeft us sick, broke, and full of frustration.\nNow he's feathered and tarred,\nAnd he cries out, \"It's hard\nAnd unjust, this bituminization!\"", "id": 26342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "S. A. McBurnie", "limerick": "In terrain, what I like is homogeny;\nNo folding events or their progeny.\nSo I stick to the plains\nAnd avoid the remains\nOf the ancient Acadian orogeny.", "id": 26343, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nate25", "limerick": "Miss Molly Malone is a whore,\nThough her stem cell research you'd adore.\nOn the beach she would ply:\nSelling X, keeping Y,\nSo she's selling she cells on the shore.", "id": 26344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "If you're clever with test tubes, you've lab sense.\nYou take picketers' jobs?  You've got scab sense.\nBut if you should pause\nJust to ponder the cause\nOf your heart getting fonder, that's absence.", "id": 26345, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "I am all alone. Friendless. Bereft.\nOf my family, just I am left.\nI am burdalane now,\nBut I'll move on, somehow,\nThough my grief has unbearable heft.", "id": 26346, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "At this fact there are those who will scoff,\nBut no pirates would sail \"way up Nawf\",\nFor the air there's achill,\nWith the nights colder still\u2014\nThey'd risk freezing their buccaneers off.", "id": 26347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "\"To you, dear, my soul I've just bared\nAnd my innermost feelings I've shared.\"\n\"Oh, sweet heaven above,\nNow you've shown me your love...\nAnd I'd wondered, 'til now, if you cared!\"", "id": 26348, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "He'd get slapped by each woman he kissed,\nAnd you'd think he'd have gotten the gist.\nBut his ways went unchanged\n'Til the ladies arranged\nFor an order of cease and desist.", "id": 26349, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In the Arctic, ice deserts abound;\nFurther south, ice desserts are what's found.\nArctic roll: one slice each,\nTopped with half a tinned peach;\nIce cream core with jam sponge wrapped around.", "id": 26350, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Candid's a word that means \"frank\" \u2014\nGiving facts, not just leaving a blank.\nBut you surely can bet\nSome facts make you sweat \u2014\nEspecially those from your bank.", "id": 26351, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "My mind is a blank, I confess,\n'Cause my memory's really a mess.\nI just wish that I knew\nWhat so recently flew\nFrom my brain. I am cuckoo, I guess.", "id": 26352, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Cautious Annas, High Priest\u2014here's the gist\nOf his edict that Christians desist:\n\"If born-again Peter\nWere somewhat discreeter\nAnd neater, I wouldn't resist.\"", "id": 26353, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The man's brilliant! He garners acclaim.\nHe has beauty, and fortune, and fame.\nBut if bid to have dinner\nTo bask with this winner,\nWe're apt to decline, all the same.", "id": 26354, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Your incense? Abominably awful.\nYour assemblies? Too long by a jawful.\nThe feasts you appoint\nPut my nose out of joint;\nThey're annoying and I've had a crawful.", "id": 26355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Saul, in order to lead Dave to slaughter,\nLet him hope he might marry his daughter.\nMerab was the first\nWhose \"I do's\" Saul rehearsed\u2014\nBut it came to pass, Adriel got her.", "id": 26356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Barnabas, \"Surely John Mark\nIs the man to go with on our lark?\"\n\"The Pamphylian shirker?\"\nSaid Paul, \"He's no worker\u2014\nHe's the last man with whom I'd embark.\"", "id": 26357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"You have cut off my thumbs and big toes,\"\nRemarked Bezek's bold king. \"So it goes\u2014\nI've done similar things\nTo some seventy kings\u2014\nIt's no bolt from the blue, the Lord knows.\"", "id": 26358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Jews and Gentiles united! A vision\nWe no longer greet with derision\u2014\nWe send Barsabas back,\nWho will cut you some slack:\nAbjure idols; forego circumcision.", "id": 26359, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Moses told his twelve spies, \"Take a walk\nInto Canaan; observe and take stock.\"\nIt took two men to muster\nThe succulent cluster\nOf Hebron's grapes, grown by Anak.", "id": 26360, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Mount of Olives will split open wide.\nYou can run on that day, but not hide.\nIn the valley, to Azal\nYou'll gaze; the next phase'll\nBe haze; then live waters divide.", "id": 26361, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The Philistine host of Hazor\nMet its doom at the foot of Tabor.\nThen said Deborah, \"Barak,\nSis's head's on the block,\nBut a woman will give him what for.\"", "id": 26362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Jeroboam! Hail, fellow, well met!\nHere's my robe\u2014in twelve pieces. I'll let\nYou have ten for your own,\"\nSaid Ahijah. \"The throne\nIsn't yours; it's the Lord's. Don't forget.\"", "id": 26363, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Saul was blinded by light. Ananias\nTold God, \"Hey, I'm glad he can't eye us\u2014\nSaul is one holy terror.\"\nSaid God, \"Just an error\nOf judgment. Go cure him; he's pious.\"", "id": 26364, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The Argand lamp burns with a wick\nThat's cylindrical. Here's why it's slick:\nAir within and without\nKeeps the flame bright and stout,\nSo much better than rags on a stick.", "id": 26365, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "That beaverboard\u2014this is my feeling\u2014\nAin't finished and looks unappealing.\nI'd leave it to Beaver,\nBut he's a believer\nThat fiberboard's fine for a ceiling.", "id": 26366, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Of Zibeon's sons, one's a winner\n(About Ajah the annals are thinner)\u2014\nBut Anah, the lad\nWho fed donkeys for dad\nIn the wild, was the world's first muleskinner.", "id": 26367, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Dense Acrisius! What is the use\nMaking Dana\u00eb be a recluse?\nShe's not his to withhold:\nIn a shower of gold\nShe gets pregnant with Perseus, by Zeus!", "id": 26368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "The first Christians were communists. Most\nGave their all to the church, which could boast\nWealth was shared without bias.\nAlas! Ananias\nGave less, and so gave up the ghost.", "id": 26369, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"You can talk!?\" Balaam gasped, staff in hand.\n\"Had no choice,\" said his ass. \"I was banned\nBy a sword from the path;\nYou're unsubtle in wrath;\nAnd broad hints you do not understand.\"", "id": 26370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "\"Jerusalem's wall? It's so frail!\"\n(Hear Tobiah, the Ammonite, rail.)\nThough it made them so wroth\nThat their mouths were afroth,\nAmmon, Ashdod, Arabia, turned tail.", "id": 26371, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "All my children are up for adoption\u2014\nMy doctor tried telling me, \"Stop! Shun\nYour sole mate\" \u2014 \"Says who?\nDoc, I live in a shoe!\nAnd apogeny isn't an option.\"", "id": 26372, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Have a sip of rhetorical Snapple\u2014\nWith antilogism we grapple:\nNo apples are dishes;\nSome dishes, delicious\u2014\nDelicious cannot be an apple.", "id": 26373, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "I am counted with those in the pit.\nI am troubled, distracted, unfit.\nI'm afflicted with dread\nTo be free midst the dead\u2014\nWhere it's deep and it's dark, there I sit.", "id": 26374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Said Ray to his lover's declinal,\n\"What is it\u2014that I'm amphirhinal?\"\nSaid she, \"Who opposes\nTwo nostrils? But noses\u2014\nYou can't have two noses; that's  final.\"", "id": 26375, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "You're a long line of candles. Your dad\nWas a candle and so is your lad.\nYou are \"dad to a candle\",\nFor Abner's your handle\u2014\nAre you the best light to be had?", "id": 26376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Jacob died. Joseph cried, then took leave\nOf his duties in Egypt to grieve.\nMen in Canaan said, \"Odd,\nEgypt mourns in Atad\u2014\nYet how apt, thorns of sorrow to reeve.\"", "id": 26377, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Times must change, but I'm feeling somehow\nTimes were good then, unlike the times now.\nAutres temps, autres moeurs;\nYet my heart won't concur\u2014\nOur Prince Charming has married a cow.", "id": 26378, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "See the Maryland State House's dome,\nAnd the school that's the midshipmen's home,\nRight by Chesapeake Bay,\nAnd then cheer, \"Hip Hooray!\nHail Annapolis, theme of this poem!\"", "id": 26379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "For atmology one must show mettle.\nDon't attempt it unless in fine fettle.\nExploring fog's forms,\nBraving wild, pouring storms...\nSounds to me much like boiling the kettle.", "id": 26380, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Why on earth are CDs packed so tight?\nYou can't hear them without a huge fight.\nWhen you buy a CD\nThen your plight is to free\nThat damn disc. It might take you all night.", "id": 26381, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The teacher called out from his car:\n\"Ma'am, your daughter's a driver's ed star.\nHer steering's quite deft,\nShe knows right turns from left,\nAnd, with practice, she's bound to go far.\"", "id": 26382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "Where on earth are you likely to meet\nA creature with lovely blue feet?\nThe Galapagos Isles;\nPerched on lava rock piles,\nThe blue-footed booby's a treat!", "id": 26383, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "\"Monsieur Cauchy, this can't be denied \u2014\nTake two vectors: their lengths multiplied\nIs at least on a par\n(Maybe greater by far)\nThan the inner (dot) product!\" Schwarz cried.", "id": 26384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Circus Master, I'm out of my mind\u2014\nHuman cannon ball William's resigned,\nAnd another such man\nWith his flair and elan,\nOf that calibre never I'll find!", "id": 26385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In cosmogeny circles, we dwell\nOn a law, and its hope to foretell\nWhere the planets may lie,\nThough our experts now sigh\nThat for Bode it just doesn't bode well.", "id": 26387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "Picard was unlucky to meet\nAn aggressive Cardassian fleet.\nSo he polished his phasers\nAnd fired his lasers,\n'Til those reptiles admitted, \"We're beat.\"", "id": 26388, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "When you're weak, you are jeered at and mocked.\nThere's no refuge. A sissy gets socked\nBy the mean classroom bully.\nYour body's turned fully\nTo jelly. You're awed and you're shocked.", "id": 26389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "A cello's but one of a section\nOf celli; that makes a collection\nOf cellos all playing\n(Some moving, some swaying)\nTogether, in search of perfection.", "id": 26390, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The bulk of the ads that I see,\nIn newspapers and on TV,\nCause an inverse effect \u2014\nIt's my need to reject\nPeople making a chump out of me.", "id": 26391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "My best-seller's in every good store.\nAll the same I am hoping for more:\nIn each airport and station,\nAcross the whole nation,\nA display on a shelf near the door.", "id": 26392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "There's a bottomer down in the hole\nWho will send up the cars filled with coal.\nThe same title one rates,\nWho nails bottoms on crates,\nOr who readies a shoe for a sole.", "id": 26393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Aldrovanda is plant life\u2014aquatic,\nFree-floating, and yet systematic.\nInsectivorous traits\nMean the food it awaits\nMakes the bug life in bogs quite traumatic.", "id": 26394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Paul C\u00e9zanne as a painter was great,\nBut so slow! His poor subjects' sad fate\nWas to sit like an apple;\nWhile he would then grapple\nWith colours, they'd rot on the plate.", "id": 26395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "So you wish me to speak of the cellar?\nIt's the haunt of the underground dweller,\nWhere funguses grow\nAnd the spiders all go...\nLittle Sally's there now; shall I tell 'er?", "id": 26396, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Buy 'em 'ere, it's a sure way to thrift:\nPay me cash, no receipt, catch my drift?\nWhat's that! \"Stolen bloomers\"?!\nWho's spreading these rumours?\nThey're lovely, they're silk, they're a gift.", "id": 26397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "You were hungry, so don't be a whiner;\nI assure you, no eatery's finer.\n(Well, that's what I'm hopin'.\n3 a.m., nothing's open\nBut \"Susie-n'-Sam's All-Night Diner\".)", "id": 26399, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "On my porch, huddled down in my chair,\nOf the world, only barely aware,\nI wander the pages;\nBeen sitting for ages.\nWhen I'm reading a book then I'm there.", "id": 26401, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "Cefazolin is great for the skin\nWhen bacteria lurk deep within.\nIt's a cure that's well known\nWhere there's staph in your bone\nAnd for most other tissue it's in.", "id": 26402, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cOMANdo", "limerick": "If you have correctly accounted,\nThen your audit has only amounted\nTo a trip into town,\nAnd some sweat rolling down.\nAn aggrieving intrusion, surmounted.", "id": 26403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Luigi emitted a groan:\n\"This is nobody's fault but my own.\nI'm thoroughly beaten.\nI shouldn't have eaten\nThat fifth pepperoni calzone.\"", "id": 26404, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To make soap called jabon de castila,\nFine siftings of ash from barilla\nAnd Castile's olive oil\nWere well-mixed, set aboil,\nWith brine added, soap floated, Camilla.", "id": 26405, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "A bizarre old bazaar in Beirut\nTrades in nothing but jelly and fruit.\nIt's a market \"too far\"\u2014\nJust a trifle bazaar?\nShopping there's such a trivial pursuit.", "id": 26406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Acupuncturists use all their skills,\nDiagnosing and treating your ills.\nThey may look at your tongue,\nCheck your spleen and your lung,\nAnd use needles instead of those pills.", "id": 26407, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "The odd discord can sometimes be heard\nIn the music of William Byrd.\nThe question, it seems:\n'Was that clash in my dreams,\nOr was William true to his word?'", "id": 26408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Said the mayor, on being elected:\n\"A monument must be erected\nTo encourage the viewing\nOf names of those doing\nAbove and beyond what's expected.\"", "id": 26409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"A cavil,\" said Pete, \"is evasion.\nAvoid it on every occasion.\nJust try to relax,\nAnd know all your facts,\nSo then you'll convince by persuasion.\"", "id": 26412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Its five stamens give penstemon's name.\nFour are true; one is false, not the same\n(Called a staminode) \u2014 there's\nA fine covering ('hairs'),\nAnd thus beardtongue this flower became.", "id": 26413, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Playing cricket, a bowler named Grout\nLiked to aim, high and hard, at one's snout.\nHear it whizz\u2014it's a screamer!\nIt's known as a beamer.\nNot out! But a knockout for nowt.", "id": 26414, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "There's this most useful madder, the kind\nWith a root that yields dye when refined.\nAlizari's the plant\nFrom the region Levant.\nDyes from test tubes have since been designed.", "id": 26415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "When the pollen count's high in the breeze,\nAnd you know that you'll soon start to sneeze,\nLose that droop in your mug!\nGive your druggist a hug,\nAnd say, \"Give me acrivastine, please!\"", "id": 26416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I hunger for road kill and mud,\nAnd to drink, I might sip my own blood.\n\"S.O.S.\" is ideal\nIf both S's are real.\nI've got allotriophagy, bud!", "id": 26417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I can hear a distinct caverniloquy:\nA resonant, low pectoriloquy.\nWith my ear to your chest,\nWhat's the part I like best?\nYour rendition of Hamlet's soliloquy.", "id": 26418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There are sports fans insistently branding\nCap Anson a racist, demanding\nWe do not forget\nHis foul actions, and yet\nMany records he set are still standing.", "id": 26419, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Try these finger foods.  Nosh!  Have some yummies!\nThose fingers, in fact, were my mummy's.\nI learned how to cook\nFrom that big yellow book\nTitled Cannibalism for Dummies.", "id": 26420, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Chameleon? No, I'm more lowly;\nI'm only a humble anole.\nMy colours might change,\nBut the New World's my range,\nAnd iguanas my kin (though not wholly).", "id": 26421, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There was a black widow named Janet\nWho buried twelve husbands in granite.\nWhen they asked how she pled,\nShe just giggled and said:\n\"Well, it can't be coincidence, can it?\"", "id": 26422, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Listen here, I'll propose something to ya:\nWe could trademark the word allelujah.\nMy lawyer, Joe Isthmus,\nCould do it by Christmas\u2014\nThen we tell people, \"Sing it?  We'll sue ya!\"", "id": 26423, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "In the hills out in Tamil Nadu\nThere are so many fun things to do,\nLike Badaga Scrabble,\nBut don't let the rabble\nMake a Kannada goose out of you.", "id": 26424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "There's a paradox frequently seen\nThat concerns the \"adult\" magazine:\nIt's a feast for the eyes\nThat a great many guys\nLook at only until they're eighteen.", "id": 26425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Surgeon General's a tough thing to be.\nJust ask Richard Carmona, you'll see.\nHe is plagued every day\nBy crank callers, who say:\n\"Oh my God, it's the Dubya M.D.\"", "id": 26426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "The cedar brought Lebanon fame;\nIt gave to the Temple its frame.\nBut with forests cut down,\nThe land's dusty brown.\nFabled Cedrus in danger\u2014what shame!", "id": 26427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "Paula raved when I finished my song;\nRandy said my performance was strong.\nBut my heart did a flip\nWhen I heard Simon quip,\n\"Center stage is the place you belong.\"", "id": 26428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Since my joints are becoming granitic,\nI'm taking an antiarthritic:\nA glucosamine cap.\nStill, I crackle and snap \u2014\nI wouldn't wish this on a critic.", "id": 26429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "'Twas quite late when Suzanne had awoken.\nAt the bus stop she reached for a token.\nWhat a terrible day!\nShe had no way to pay;\nShe was broke, 'cause her purse clasp had broken.", "id": 26430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "To nibble the sweet caulifloweret,\nI humbly suggest that you shower it\nWith butter and salt,\nThe taste to exalt,\nAnd then, with great pleasure, devour it.", "id": 26431, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "To avoid economic stagnation\nAs well as high rates of inflation,\nWe ought to give thanks\nFor the Fed's (central bank's)\nCentral role in the prime rate's creation.", "id": 26432, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Some church-going folks have no qualms\nWith passing a plate to give alms.\nYet these same folks retreat\nWhen they see on the street\nA beggar with up-facing palms.", "id": 26433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "More tonus in blood vessel walls:\nPressure rises. (You'd rather it falls.)\nActive vasoconstriction\nIs, alas, not a fiction,\nSo expect to make more doctors' calls.", "id": 26434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"I've some snails to ship home,\" I told Fred.\nGot some cartons and painted them red.\nAnd then I applied\nA white \"S\" to each side.\n\"Now they'll know it's 'S' cargo,\" I said.", "id": 26435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "A celebrity party included\nThe famous and infamous, duded\nUp in their best clothes.\nFor actresses, those\nMade them seem they were almost denuded.", "id": 26436, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Frilly skirts and high kicks their career,\nThe dancers were met with a cheer.\nIn the wings, Jacques stopped dozing \u2014\nCritiqued his composing:\n\"For the cancan I'm Offenbach here.\"", "id": 26437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "When a person wears casual clothes\nThat aren't fit for the places she goes,\nHer activewear's not\nApropos, but she's got\nA great need to relax, I suppose.", "id": 26438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "A friend found me singles-bar-bound.\n\"Out dogging for bitches? You hound!\"\n\"You're so full of feces,\"\nI told him. \"Wrong species!\nI'm actually catting around.\"", "id": 26439, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Don Van Vliet and Frank Zappa had wrought\nThat odd name, Captain Beefheart. They thought\nIt was great for a movie\nWith Grunt People\u2014groovy!\nThe script and the film came to naught.", "id": 26440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Disagree if you like; I'll contend\nThat a bat is the bricklayer's friend.\nThough it's handy to throw,\nIf you did, it would show,\nFor the bond would have gaps at the end.", "id": 26441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Set in Jordan, Amman is among\nThis old world's oldest cities. It's sung\nIn the histories; to eat,\nA hard-coated and sweet\nJordan almond arouses the tongue.", "id": 26442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "It is known John James Audubon's one\u2014\nHe's his dad's illegitimate son.\nOut of wedlock created\nIs bastardy stated\n(John's stigmatization'd begun).", "id": 26443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "Who can say what we'll hear from the Fed?\nThe economy\u2014living or dead?\nRead the stars or the cards?\nStudy entrails by yards?\nAh\u2014just read through the Beige Book instead.", "id": 26444, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Our obsessed new executive, Newman,\nSays the cubicles have too much room 'n.\nHe's a man of decision\nConsumed by a vision:\nA battery farm for the human.", "id": 26445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "On Remembrance Day, poppy bedecked\nIs this monument. Pay your respect.\nLay a wreath, say a prayer\nAt the Cenotaph, where\nWe all honor the dead and reflect.", "id": 26446, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "New York City! Times Square! Old year's end!\nCome along! Bundle up! Bring a friend!\nWatch the New Year's Eve Ball\nThat bedazzles us all!\nLook up there! It's begun to descend!", "id": 26448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Poor old Billy, he sits on his own,\nHas no friends, and his family have flown.\nHow the children all mock\nWhen he walks down the block:\n\"Billy no-mates\" is how he is known.", "id": 26449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If it's bifid, it's split into two\nLike the tongue of a snake. Yes, it's true!\nBifid's fine for a snake,\nBut for Man, a mistake\u2014\nA congenital defect to you.", "id": 26450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It may seem like a terrible waste,\nBut the problem of slugs must be faced.\nPut some beer in a pot;\nYou'll trap hundreds: they've got\nSuch desire for that rich, hoppy taste.", "id": 26451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "When your macular vision's affected\nAnd degeneration's detected,\nIf to age it's related\nThen sadly, you're fated:\nNo cure for lost sight is expected.", "id": 26452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "In old England, when people were wed,\nA care-cloth was held overhead.\nThen the priest blest the pair;\nNeath this linen, cut square;\nBut the bride wears a veil now, instead.", "id": 26453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Lucien Vidie would be overjoyed\nTo know aneroid's often employed.\n(Don't think of thermometers;\nThink drier\u2014barometers!)\nIt names objects where liquid is void.", "id": 26454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Homemade porn films? A technical breeze.\nThough 'twas not always do-as-you-please.\nBetamax was the first,\nNot the best, nor the worst.\nThe standard's now MiniDVs.", "id": 26455, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Ceramic and metal, when blended,\nMake cermet, a substance intended\nTo endure under heat,\nNot to crack if it's beat,\nSo for spacecraft or drill bits it's splendid!", "id": 26456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "The Blob: a red goo to be feared!\nEvery creature it touched disappeared!\nThat was then\u2014Cold War era.\nThese days, Al Jazeera\nWould show it with turban and beard.", "id": 26457, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Though the banquet was truly fantastic,\nIts effects on digestion were drastic.\nIn my gluttonous lust\nI had stuffed fit to bust,\nAnd I felt, to be frank, cacogastric.", "id": 26458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "Online dating just drives me berserk\nTo the point where I think I'm a jerk.\nI am fairly well-heeled,\nEven more sex-appealed,\nBut my GSOH doesn't work!", "id": 26459, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "I chose celibacy for salvation;\nForsook sex for a holy elation.\nA born-again virgin,\nMy sins I am purgin'\u2014\nI'm forgettin' about procreation.", "id": 26460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "Cerumen's a gunky ear wax \u2014\nMy ex's both have it in stacks.\nWhen they lie in the sun\nThen the heat makes it run\nIn slimy snail tracks down their backs.", "id": 26461, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A techie served cookies malicious\nTo his team members. Talk about vicious!\nA promotion he chased.\nHe was fired post-haste\u2014\nJust desserts for a guy so ambitious.", "id": 26462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "This cocktail, alas and alack\u2014\nIs pronounced as \"arrick\" or \"Iraq\".\nIt's fermented malt liquor\nAnd may go down quicker\nIn case of a nuclear attack.", "id": 26463, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Mistress Muffet, though cute, wasn't nice\nBut ill-natured and peevish. Her vice\nWas to squash spiders flat,\nWhilst on tuffets they sat;\nThus no attercop frightened her twice.", "id": 26464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "He's the Cuban most Yanks love to hate:\nStill in power (five decades to date).\nHe's survived that cigar,\nSevere illness (so far),\nBut how long till they call him \"The late ...\"?", "id": 26465, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kevinrtaylor and psheil", "limerick": "The cacophonous people from Stroud\nAre not only unspeakably loud\nBut discordant as well,\nLike a badly tuned bell,\nYet of this they are terribly proud.", "id": 26466, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "There once was a saucy young wench,\nWho spoke in Canadian French.\nFrom Moncton to Qu\u00e9bec,\nShe left men in a wreck,\nGiving hearts (and more parts) quite a wrench.", "id": 26467, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza and alkahuna", "limerick": "Rheumatic disease (abarticular)\nIs bad for your health, in particular.\nMore than knees, more than heart,\nIt affects every part\nFrom the cranial to the testicular.", "id": 26468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "Want a milk shake with ice cream and flavor?\nIn Newport you'll need this small favor.\n'Cause only poor saps\nTry to order cold frappes;\nIt's a cabinet that you will savor.", "id": 26469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"It's so cute!\" said the child, with delight.\n\"You can't have it,\" said Mom. \"Puppies bite.\nIt's adorable, true,\nBut dogs nip, bark, and chew,\nAnd your daddy will cower in fright.\"", "id": 26470, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hwindle", "limerick": "In The Son of the Mummy-Bride III,\nIt's the state of the cerecloth that's key.\nBindings, prone to unwrap,\nHang in tatters and flap,\nBoosting creepiness up a degree.", "id": 26471, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "You must quit! Put an end to it! Cease!\nYou must stop! Do not stalk my dear niece!\nShe's a child I adore!\nIf you follow her more,\nI will certainly call the police!", "id": 26472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Now the dirt dikes are crumbling; the walls,\nToo, are tumbling; there's blame because all's\nGoing to hell in a basket.\nFiddle-dee and a-tasket!\nKinda late for our waking-up calls.", "id": 26474, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "All your daily activities show\nIf your life's full of joy or of woe.\nCan you eat, dress and talk?\nGo to sleep, wash and walk?\nLiving just as you want, or so-so?", "id": 26475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "When a discharge that's watery flows\nFrom a surface mucosal, it shows\nBlennorrhoea has struck\nAnd you're down on your luck\nTill, with antibiotics, it goes.", "id": 26476, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Let's walk up!\" said the elderly gent.\nHe's my boss; up six stories we went.\nAnd when he said gaily,\n\"Let's exercise daily!\"\nI nodded my head in assent.", "id": 26477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "As the wheel of a wagon goes 'round,\nA gymnast can spin 'cross the ground.\nLimbs fully extended,\nA cartwheel is splendid\n(With none of the cart's squeaky sound).", "id": 26478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "If  Doric's the order in place,\nThere's a chance you may glance on its face.\nA bucrane motif,\nI'll explain (and be brief),\nFeatures ox heads with garlands to grace.", "id": 26479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "If you judge every person you see \u2014\n\"They are\" (or \"they're not\") \"just like me\" \u2014\nThat glance you've just taken\nCould well be mistaken;\nA bigot is what you could be.", "id": 26480, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "To protect your best horse, use a bard\u2014\nNot a poet, but armor that's hard.\nIt deflects weapon blows;\nIt's adornment that shows.\nYou'll be voguish and won't be off-guard!", "id": 26481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Otto\nWho hit a great jackpot in Lotto,\nBut squandered his winnings\nOn all kinds of sinnings\u2014\nNow blotto, he lives in a grotto.", "id": 26482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'll bear up under mountains of stress,\nAnd withstand the most painful duress,\nBut do not put me\nOn a pedestal, see,\nAs it's just to look under my dress.", "id": 26483, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Its celestial music will please\nAs its melodies float on the breeze.\nIt's an instrument blessed\nBy the gods, the celeste:\nLike a glockenspiel played using keys.", "id": 26484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My gall bladder's filling with stones.\nWhen one passes, you'll hear all my groans;\nAnd if one should obstruct\nIn my biliary duct,\nI'll be jaundiced in yellow-green tones.", "id": 26485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I wonder if what I am needing\nIs bibliotherapy\u2014speeding\nThrough two books a day\nKeeps depression at bay\u2014\nI sure hope so! It's treatment by reading.", "id": 26486, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Benedict's solution is blue,\nBut turns red if decanted into\nHenry's urine\u2014it's sweet, he's\nSure got diabetes\u2014\nAn old fashioned test, tried and true.", "id": 26487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My grandpa says, \"Blue is our blood,\nDating back to the biblical flood,\nAnd our ancestor's Noah,\nNot an ape or a boa,\nOr a fish growing lungs in the mud.\"", "id": 26488, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "All secular pleasures she'll shun:\nThe cenobite\u2014she is the one\nWho's contented to care\nFor the needy, with prayer,\nAs she's living the life of a nun.", "id": 26489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and alkahuna", "limerick": "Capric acid (and this you can quote),\nWhen it comes from the fat of a goat,\nSmells like garbage that festers,\nBut made into esters\nIt's in perfume\u2014this does seem remote!", "id": 26490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As he fills up with food at a deli-land,\nHe daydreams he's starring in telly-land,\nSo I have to explain,\n\"When you're flying your plane,\nStay alert or you may have to belly-land.\"", "id": 26491, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "There's a buttress supporting a wall,\nParadoxically, after the Fall.\nWhen they claim that it's flying,\nI fear they are trying\nTo pull the wool over us all.", "id": 26492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "When I sawed topological lumber,\nI saw that its shape would encumber\nAttempts to divide;\nEvery cut that I tried\nOnly gave it a new Betti number.", "id": 26493, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "With a glimmer of faith he has flirted,\nHates dogma that's crudely asserted.\nAn astronomer knows\nThat the faintest of glows\nCan't be seen unless vision's averted.", "id": 26494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "In the seventh month, next to a tarn,\nI put all my corn's ears in a barn.\nThe name Abib fits two\nOf these things, it is true:\nIt's an earlier name for Nisan.", "id": 26495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Abiotic is my transformation\nAs I'm struck by the sun's radiation.\nThat's all it will take\nFor my body to wake\nFrom an R.E.M. dream cogitation.", "id": 26496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten and Chris Young", "limerick": "We are sepal-less flowers (no outers).\nThough we're naked, it's normal \u2014 don't doubt us.\nThere's no \"funny business\";\nWe are just acalycinous.\nWe're not, of propriety, flouters.", "id": 26497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Clock towers hold works of horologists;\nIn their ivory towers, psychologists.\nBut my heart, how it sings\nAt the heavenly rings\nOf the bell towers' skilled campanologists.", "id": 26498, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "There were pillows from floor up to ceiling.\nShe dove in and her senses were reeling.\nIt is true she was married,\nBut the torch was still carried,\nFor his wit was just too damn appealing.", "id": 26499, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "The sonorous tones of the cello\nEvoke love songs, warm, languid and mellow.\nBut it's also eclectic \u2014\nWhen the music gets hectic\nIt can let out a pretty fierce bellow.", "id": 26500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Sybil Society", "limerick": "O, what a frugivorous bird!\nYour markings\u2014so wonderfully blurred!\nCedar waxwing, you jest\nWith your velvety breast,\nPlucking berries with nary a word.", "id": 26501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "This man painted his birds with such grace,\nUsing birdlime to hold them in place.\nWith this substance he could\nPaint small finches that would\nOtherwise fly from Audubon's face.", "id": 26502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Capillary action is where\nHeavy liquids are raised by a hair\nWhose smallness of cavity\nOvercomes gravity!\nWonderful, yes, but not rare.", "id": 26503, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "At the shore there are beachgoers who\nShell out more for a beachfront, it's true.\nWhile at beachside, some waive\nPrime location to save.\nSeems they all have their own point of view.", "id": 26504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "\"It's theah on the boadah,\" said Alice,\nAs she gave me directions to \"Callous\"(?),\n\"You won't get theah today\nIf you call it Calais,\n'Cause Down-Eastahs, we rhyme it with malice.\"", "id": 26505, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "If a rabbi will drive in his car\nTo the mall on Shabbat (pretty far!),\nHis unorthodox ways\nWill speak of his days\nAs a member of CCAR.", "id": 26506, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Nitelaf", "limerick": "Her sweet sacred songs you admire!  You\nHear her chant, and it tends to inspire you.\nBut don't rush like a fool\nTo cantorial school\u2014\nThere's no rule says a shul has to hire you...", "id": 26507, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "\"Now listen, you boys!  Hold your giggles,\nWhile I read you the exploits of Biggles.\nIn my day, the White Fokker\nWas in each schoolboy's locker\u2014\nAnd he's ten times as butch as those Wiggles.\"", "id": 26508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL and Richard English", "limerick": "I once knew a man whose caresses\nCould charm all the girls from their dresses.\nThey'd start with them on,\nBut they'd quickly be gone \u2014\nHow I envied that man his successes.", "id": 26509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Dopart", "limerick": "The preflight we'd never neglect\nSince a whale of a ride we'd expect.\nWe kept Jonahs away\n(We'd need luck in a fray);\nThe A-3 wouldn't let us eject.", "id": 26510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Our society's cashless, and all it\nRequired were the wires to install it.\nElectronic's my spending\nOn bills neverending.\nIt means I've less cash for my wallet.", "id": 26511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "Would-be actresses, might I suggest\nThat the casting director is best\nWho rates how you act\nBy your style, not the fact\nThat you have or have not a big chest.", "id": 26512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "At the concert, he looked so forlorn.\nHe'd forgotten to bring his French horn!\nFor his instrument, brass,\nHad been left in the grass\nWhere his love to the maiden was sworn.", "id": 26513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Nick Szymanski", "limerick": "You should aim at conciseness, dear mate \u2014\nIn one word you should state what you state!\nWill the reader abide\nIf you write \"flee and hide\"?\nUse absquatulate, simple and straight!", "id": 26514, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The Blazhko effect subtly mars\nThe pulsations of pulsating stars,\nWhile the physicist's brain\nThat is tasked to explain\nSuffers angst and emotional scars.", "id": 26515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Cabot's Matthew set sail on a quest\nTo explore the blank ocean out west.\nWhen he beached on the sand\nOf a newly found land,\nCould he guess the vast span of the rest?", "id": 26516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The island of Bornholm is small\n(A few hundred square miles, and that's all),\nYet strategically speaking\nWere the Danes wrong in seeking\nTo keep it so firmly in thrall?", "id": 26517, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "We'll give 'em the day off, my dear,\nAnd so spread, below stairs, festive cheer.\nAnd these Boxing Day gifts\nWill reward Christmas shifts \u2014\nGive 'em something to work for each year.", "id": 26518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I can tell you're a wine-lover, Ella \u2014\nBring a glass; let's go visit the cellar.\nFor I doubt you'll find fault\nWith what's laid in my vault,\nAnd my rare '69's simply stellar.", "id": 26519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Cahors is a town on the Lot,\nIn south-western France, where it's hot.\nIts bridge is well known\nAs a marvel in stone,\nAnd its brash, fruity wine hits the spot.", "id": 26520, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The Cenotaph stands to remind us\nOf the long years of sorrow behind us;\nOf the lives that were lost\nPaying war's woeful cost,\nLest time and forgetfulness blind us.", "id": 26521, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "If you suffer from toxification,\nBlame the pesticide sprayed on your nation.\nOh, you hadn't a bit?\nWell, your food did, you twit.\nDuh! It's called biomagnification.", "id": 26522, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "Paracelsus, alchemical master,\nHad a cure for near any disaster:\nA mercurial liquor\nCalled azoth that's quicker\nAnd stronger than oil of castor!", "id": 26524, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Amelia A", "limerick": "I can say with all certitude, dude,\nThat I'm really so not in the mood\nFor your huggin' and kissin',\n'Cos there's something that's missin';\nMy finger is feeling quite nude.", "id": 26525, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "Accounting cost: cost of producing\nA company's goods, introducing\nNo Enron-like guesses.\nInstead it possesses\nAn accuracy most find seducing.", "id": 26526, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The congressman wanted to hire\nAn aide who would surely aspire\nTo a lofty career.\nHis selection seemed queer:\nShe was sunny, but no ball of fire.", "id": 26527, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "CGS sets the system we use.\nWhen we measure in physics we choose\nUnits easy to measure,\nNot those which we treasure,\nAs furlongs and fortnights confuse.", "id": 26528, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "Used by Audubon, arsenic was\nA preservative needed because\nAs insecticide, he\nCould keep bird skins bug-free.\nIts sweet almond smell stays, yes it does.", "id": 26529, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "With long graceful fins and a tail,\nThis beast swims the sea without scale,\nGives milk and breathes air,\nAnd the babes have some hair!\nThe cetacean: a dolphin or whale.", "id": 26530, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "For that Scotsman, there's gonna be trouble\nWhen those hags get that cauldron to bubble.\nToad and bat, frog and snake\nWill soon boil and bake...\nThen his toil and trouble will double!", "id": 26531, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "\"Are your aims truly honest?\" she said\nAs I sat down alongside her bed.\n\"My aim is quite certain \u2014\nSo I'll just close this curtain,\nThen our aims will be mutual instead.\"", "id": 26532, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "otherwisefine", "limerick": "When the powder you use for your gun\nShould be smokeless, then here's how it's done:\nNitrocellulose plus\nNitroglycerine\u2014thus\nDo ballistite's ingredients run.", "id": 26533, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "There are too many nurses not there,\nBecause hospital coffers are bare.\nTherefore patients are lying\nUntended and dying.\nIt's not because nurses don't care.", "id": 26534, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I confess that the calculus of\nVariations ain't math that I love:\nWhere you study the ins\nAnd the outs of the mins\nOf a function approached from above.", "id": 26535, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A casern is the barracks in town\nWhere the soldiers are garrisoned\u2014down\nIn the hookers' domain.\nSince the good folks complain,\nIt has raised a concern for the Crown.", "id": 26536, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "According to my recollection,\nThe buoy was meant for direction.\nBut the pilot was drunk,\nAnd the ship is now sunk\nFrom the buoy and bow intersection.", "id": 26537, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "To measure the acid in wine,\nAcidometers work out just fine.\nThese devices will meter\nTotal acid per liter,\nBut please don't test this glass\u2014it's mine!", "id": 26538, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "When I praise your celerity, Gene,\nDon't infer you are leafy and green\nLike a celery stick.\nWhat I mean is you're quick,\nBut you still might curtail the caffeine.", "id": 26539, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "When your graphics are meant to be seen\nHaving colors, authentic and clean,\nWell, you won't leave 'em squinting\nWith additive printing\u2014\nPrimarily blue, red and green.", "id": 26540, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Boys think girls are a boon to the earth \u2014\nThat there's nothing more precious in worth.\nThey're pretty and sweet\nTill they get swollen feet\nBefore giving a new girl her birth.", "id": 26541, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Breathless mystics who're yearning for Heaven\nRevere, besides God, number seven,\nOld bones, the odd cow \u2014\nHoly smoke, they avow\nTheir beliefs can make yeastless bread leaven!", "id": 26542, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "Don't think for a moment a Bobo\nIs any old bozo or slow bo.\nThough partly Bohemian,\nHe seldom seems dreamy in\nDemanding the best. He's no hobo.", "id": 26543, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hwindle", "limerick": "What a hellhole next door at that spread!\nIt's those three barking dogs that I dread.\nUh-oh, now I can see\nIt's just one dog, not three.\nIf it's Cerberus, I must be dead.", "id": 26545, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "An infectious old man lies alone,\nBecause barrier nursing's a zone\nThat requires gloves and masks\nTo be worn for all tasks.\nThrough his window, I hear a low moan.", "id": 26546, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "An inquisitive young'un named Darryl\nWas intrigued by the bung in a barrel.\nA library visit\nResolved his \"What is it?\"\nA whiz it was, done in a carrel.", "id": 26547, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If the weather you want to confirm-o,\n'Cause conditions are making you squirm-o,\nRecord pressure and heat\nAnd humidity (neat!)\nWith a hygrograph, baro- and thermo-.", "id": 26548, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "There's these plants on the roots of my beeches,\nDraining life like some vegetal leeches;\nThey're called beech drops. How dumb \u2014\nAre there gumdrops on gum?\nHow 'bout peach schnapps that grow on my peaches?", "id": 26549, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I am baffled; just how should I pay\nFor the bohrium bought here today?\nIn a tenth of a second,\nFull half of what's reckoned\nIs lost to atomic decay!", "id": 26550, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "A new clerk at the Bank of Quebec\nHad carte blanche, so she thought, \"What the heck?\"\nHead clerk Frank didn't thank her;\nIt sank a young banker\nWho wrote for a prank a blank cheque.", "id": 26551, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "A Catwoman lover named Geri\nWas drowned near the Manhattan ferry.\nShe leapt for the sky\nFrom a balcony high,\nShouting: \"Hey!  Look at me\u2014Halle Berry!\"", "id": 26552, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Through my weight loss, I'm forced to conclude\nThat a tapeworm's been stealing my food;\nI've been growing so thin\nFrom some eater within,\nI need cesticide soon\u2014or I'm screwed.", "id": 26555, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "When I sense that my mind is in fetters\n(That line there had thirty-one letters),\nTo loosen, I count\nUp the total amount\nOf the stitches in each of my sweaters.", "id": 26556, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "A cenotaph spells out the debt\nWe owe to the young men who met\nTheir deaths in a war;\nTo remember we swore\nWe'd lay poppy wreaths lest we forget.", "id": 26557, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "Low to the ground as it goes,\nThe centipede uses its nose\nTo find insects to eat,\nWhile an army of feet\nMoves what looks like a flexible hose.", "id": 26558, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "King Arthur is looking askance;\nGuinevere cannot sit \u2014 see her dance\nWild and fast to the beat,\nNow she's feeling the heat\nOf a boil that should meet with a Lance.", "id": 26559, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Is that celestine there that I spy?\nHere's a field test that's fun to apply:\nBurn some scrapings of dust\nAnd the flame's red as rust,\nThough the rock is as blue as the sky.", "id": 26560, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "A. M. Warren", "limerick": "If a word like adapt can adapt\nAcross cultures without getting scrapped\u2014\nAdaptare, estranged,\nTurned adapten (times changed)\u2014\nIt's adopted (though sometimes rewrapped).", "id": 26561, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "The story had such a fine hook\nThat I got quite caught up in the book\u2014\nDidn't notice at all\nWhen the 'quake felled the wall\nAnd the rest of the house shook and shook.", "id": 26563, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Accredited as an investor,\nShe thought that the good Lord had blessed her.\nBy the 501 rule,\nIn three ways was she cool.\nSmall wonder that lenders imprest her.", "id": 26564, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "College football?  We're grossly mismatched\nAnd our coach will, I'm sure, be dispatched.\nEvery run's like a crawl\nWhen we carry the ball.\nEvery pass that we throw goes uncatched.", "id": 26566, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If a reindeer and caribou mated,\nThe term for the offspring created\nWould be carideer, though\nAll our poll results show\nThe term reinbou is much higher-rated.", "id": 26568, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "There once was a cyclist victorious,\nWhose form on a bike was vainglorious;\nShe remained in low gear\nAs men dropped to her rear \u2014\nHer rump made her romp quite notorious.", "id": 26569, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "When a rain forest tree takes a fall,\nThe Cecropia grows straight and tall.\nProtected by ants,\nAmong sun-loving plants,\nIts soft wood is no good\u2014not at all.", "id": 26570, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "So you call it the celery-top pine\u2014\nNeither celery nor pine, but that's fine.\nPhyllocladus to me:\nIt's a conifer tree;\nMakes Tasmanian forests divine.", "id": 26571, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "That frightening place, Lake Avernus,\nBelches out noxious fumes like a furnace!\nWrote Virgil the poet,\n\"Look out down below! It\nLeads straight to the hellfires that burn us!\"", "id": 26572, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "They're called Amazons, gals with one breast\nCut right off, so that when they aggressed\nWith their arrows and bows\nThey could take the right pose.\nHuge Brazil by this river is blest.", "id": 26573, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light and Engineer", "limerick": "Poor Bill was an unlucky feller\u2014\nBricked his old lady up in the cellar.\nWell, it all seemed okay\nWhen he hid her in May,\nBut come August, the whole town could smell 'er.", "id": 26574, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On the last trip, our room was the worst,\nIn the hold, with our porthole submersed.\nCabin-class 'commodations\nMean better vacations\nThan tourist, but less so than first.", "id": 26575, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "At the opera in dusty Beijing,\nI heard how the Chinese stars sing.\nThe mysterious noise\nWas delivered with poise,\nWhile the cymbals made both my ears ring.", "id": 26576, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "He's caught in his own unique prism;\nA dash of mystique, fraught with schism.\nThough distraught (it's incurable),\nSomehow we're durable:\nAutism's taught us \"as is\"-m.", "id": 26577, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Came two knocks on my door.  I was shocked.\nCalled, \"Who's there?\" and was glad it was locked.\nHeard the answer \"Nobel.\"\n\"Nobel who? Please do tell.\"\n\"No bell. Else I wouldn't have knocked!\"", "id": 26578, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a crafty old wizard\nWho was caught in a snow-blowing blizzard.\nWith his blood turning cold,\nHis solution was bold\u2014\nHe turned himself into a lizard.", "id": 26579, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the movies he's aching to star,\nThough his acting is not up to par,\nSo he constantly hustles\nTo build up his muscles;\nHe's made it to beefcake so far.", "id": 26580, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Peanut butter and Marshmallow Fluff\u2014\nWhat a sandwich!  I can't get enough!\nBut with canisters mixed,\nThe last treat that I fixed?\nPeanut butter on rye bread with snuff.", "id": 26581, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The Esopus cascades, something vicious.\nWe don't toss in pennies for wishes.\nThere's no Golf Club around,\nSo no clubs to be found.\nBut bowling balls? Scads, with the fishes.", "id": 26582, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My life is cartoonishly harried.\nAll my schemes have bizarrely miscarried:\nNo respect and no wealth,\nBut I still have my health\nAnd that blue-haired girl Marge that I married.", "id": 26583, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Macbeth, the bold Scottish barbarian,\nLet drop the big sword he was carryin'.\nHe'd heard quite enough\nWhen his rival, Macduff,\nAnnounced that his birth was cesarean.", "id": 26584, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My rock-loving son has now found\nHow to blast me with rhythms that pound;\nDespite the cacophony,\nHe'll never turn off any\nPart of his system of sound.", "id": 26585, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "To paint his umbrageous, browed frown,\nMaster Rembrandt mixed rich, reddish brown\nWith his golden green hues,\nGiving warmth (so no blues)\nWith burnt umber, of earthy renown.", "id": 26586, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I beseech you, dear Congress, impeach.\nWe need action, not speech after speech.\nHey, you on the Hill,\nAll you need is the will.\nThis I beg: Bush's end is in reach.", "id": 26587, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Though the typewriter concept is stale,\nThey're still useful for some types of mail.\nTo ensure labels flatten\nAnd stay 'gainst the platen,\nRemember to flip down the bail.", "id": 26588, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Young Annette and her dear husband Brett\nWere the best big-top acrobats yet.\nIt was all going well\nTill the night that Brett fell\u2014\nNow there's just an Annette (and a net).", "id": 26589, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I'm a centre-left, socialist striver\nAnd a keen social-justice reviver;\nWe should spread our wealth more.\nI'm in touch with the poor \u2014\nThere's my cleaner, my house-maid, my driver\u2026", "id": 26590, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Good heavens! My terrible niece\nIs wearing a dress that's cerise!\nPink-red can't be seen\nIn a setting that's green!\nQuick, call the Aesthetic Police.", "id": 26591, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Her cervix was slow to dilate,\nSo delivery just had to wait;\nBut her son didn't mind\nBeing further confined:\nSleeping in a bit longer was great.", "id": 26592, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In his tome, his collection of lectures,\nThere are few unsupported conjectures,\nSince the volume's extended\nBy notes he's appended\u2014\nSome thoroughly splendid annexures.", "id": 26593, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When an Irishman, Paddy O'Gratin,\nHears his food tastes a wee bit like cotton,\nHe's as quick as you please\nAdding sauce full of cheese,\nThough as often as not, it's still rotten.", "id": 26594, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When the hypnotist finished, we cheered,\nAnd poor Nancy quit dancing so weird.\nWe could tell at a glance\nShe'd come out of her trance\nWhen the ants in her pants disappeared!", "id": 26595, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though bed head's a hairstyle display\nIn incredibly bad disarray,\nWhat the hairs underwent\nWas the wearer's intent:\nWhy it comes out the same every day.", "id": 26596, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "He went out with a jellyfish (blubber),\nBut was too narcissistic to rub her\nOn her ridge adumbrellar;\nSo selfish a feller\nWould use a medusa, then snub her.", "id": 26597, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As her sitter was sitting her, sauced,\nLittle Sister was tragically lost.\nAs she'd wanted to play,\nCora wandered away.\nKeen \"Alack,\" for a lass was the cost.", "id": 26598, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Lying prone on the ground, bend both knees.\nReaching backwards, both feet you can seize.\nPressing feet towards the floor\nMakes your quadriceps sore.\nThat's bhekasana\u2014frog, if you please.", "id": 26599, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We do Janu Shirshasana poses,\nAnd conclude when our knees touch our noses.\nNose arrives at said knees\nJust as hell starts to freeze:\nOld-age yoga is no bed of roses.", "id": 26600, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Thanks to all this superb CGI,\nYou'll believe that our hero can fly!\nOur computer can draw\nHim with nary a flaw.\nSuper scripts, though, it couldn't supply.", "id": 26601, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bee-eaters are certain to please\nIf your garden is covered with bees,\nAnd you don't eat their honey,\nOr sell it for money;\nThey feast on bee-beasties with ease.", "id": 26602, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Like two dancers in lasting embrace,\nBodies orbit in infinite space.\nIf shared gravitation\nBrings captured rotation,\nThrough eons they'll waltz face-to-face.", "id": 26604, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Divided by ten? That's a decimal.\nDivide by ten squared? A centesimal.\nAnd if you keep adding\nThose zeroes as padding,\nYou'll end up at infinitesimal.", "id": 26605, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "When the Yank asked her beau, \"Like my bangs?\",\nThe young Brit said, \"I crave you with pangs!\nYes, I love banging you.\"\nShe replied, \"That's good, too;\nBut by bangs, I meant fringe, where hair hangs.\"", "id": 26606, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "Most fellows believe that sweet candy\nFor treating the girls is quite handy.\nBut to make them flirtatious\nIt's less ostentatious\nAnd quicker to ply them with brandy.", "id": 26607, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "It's an herb that's akin to a carrot.\nThough I like its taste, you can't bear it.\nI say celery's best\nWith a dip; you protest\nThat it's food only fit for a ferret.", "id": 26608, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Aw, come on now! Get real! Sure, it's sad\nLittle Issa was bombed in Baghdad.\nBut a war crime? No way!\nThese things happen. Okay?\nJust collateral damage. Too bad.", "id": 26609, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "At loving we're not all that great\nIn our natural, secular state.\nBut let us accede\nTo some dogma or creed,\nAnd, by God, how we humans can hate!", "id": 26610, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graig Gigol", "limerick": "An ad by a clever old lion\nWas run by all papers in Zion:\n\"In response to this ad,\nPlease come over when sad,\nOr in need of a shoulder to cry on.\"", "id": 26611, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Cabinet pudding, an English dessert\nIn a mold, baked by Great Uncle Bert,\nHas dried fruit, ladyfingers,\nLiqueur whose taste lingers...\nOh, darn! Now it's spilled down my shirt!", "id": 26612, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Monsignor Pierre's unendurable!\nHe's a dangerous man with his thurible.\nWhen that priest swings his censer,\nI wish skull bones were denser.\nThat accursed old curate's incurable!", "id": 26613, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "With no guts of its own it may make\nIts abode inside yours, and partake\nOf the food you've digested.\nYou're cestode-infested:\nSo tired, and with innards that ache.", "id": 26614, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "\"Where's your brother?\" Mom asked at the table.\n\"I dunno, Ma. You checked by the stable?\"\n\"Cain, account for his whereabouts!\"\n\"Try Egypt or thereabouts.\nThe exact place? Can't say\u2014I'm not Abel.\"", "id": 26615, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "Four minutes' worth, here on the page,\nOf silence, supplied by John Cage:\n.\n.\n(Yes, sometimes it seems like an age.)", "id": 26616, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Hore-Belisha created a sign;\nFlashing beacons on poles which align\nOn each side of the street\u2014\nWith a path it's complete,\nAnd now crossing the road's more benign.", "id": 26617, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Comicoffee", "limerick": "She's got acute abdomen, doc!\nHer tummy's as hard as a rock!\nA cute stomach, it's not.\nShe's in pain (quite a lot!).\nQuickly! Put on your surgical smock!", "id": 26618, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons and Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Angiotensin converting enzyme\"\nMakes our editor's blood pressure climb.\nACE inhibitors lessen\nThe level of stress in\nHis arteries (not in my rhyme).", "id": 26619, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "He's a cellular telephone user \u2014\nA text-spelling thumb-bone abuser.\nThose ring tones are cheesy;\nThat belt pouch! It's easy\nTo tell by his phone he's a loser.", "id": 26620, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Pryor's speech worked me into a lather,\nAs this judge just went on with his blather:\n\"No gays should have option\nFor children's adoption\"\n(At least based on the \"facts\" he could gather).", "id": 26621, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Spinning round and around at the fair,\nPushed against the steel wall, and my hair\nIs spread out in a fan\nIn this curved metal can.\nThe centripetal force keeps me there.", "id": 26622, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Got achromatopsy? Then your vision\nIs lacking in color precision.\nBe careful in traffic:\nAvoid causing graphic\nExamples of red-green collision.", "id": 26623, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Acutely, pain seizes a joint\nOr people persist on a point.\nAngles form like bent knees\nShort of 90 degrees;\nItch acutely? Don't scratch, just anoint.", "id": 26624, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "A mother, whose kids were a fright,\nKnew four words that could stop any fight:\n\"Cease being so bad,\nOr I'll tell your dad!\"\nThose brats were soon still and contrite.", "id": 26625, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "Now it's time to BOGOF at the sales\nAnd to sort through the clothes on the rails.\nWe'll go on a spree\nAnd buy one, get one free,\n'Fore the Amex or Visa card fails.", "id": 26626, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Let's go blackberrying, just you and I!\nAlong hedgerows we'll search, and we'll vie\nTo see which of us musters\nMore shiny black clusters\nFor apple and blackberry pie.", "id": 26627, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Engineer", "limerick": "The Aeolian Islands might be\nThe vacation spot perfect for me.\nIn my yacht I'll set forth\nFrom Milazzo, head north\n'Cross the balmy Tyrrhenian Sea.", "id": 26628, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "In their search for an alien being,\nSETI's scientist types are agreeing\nThat one day there may be\nClear-cut signs of ET\nIn the candidate signals they're seeing.", "id": 26629, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Hey, we're hungry,\" they shout, \"and we're bored!\"\nBut they're kinfolk who can't be ignored.\nI am sick of their hassle;\nThey've taken my castle,\nThis northern barbarian horde.", "id": 26630, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "All these legs \u2014 I'll be losing them soon,\nMorph to moth sometime early in June.\nOn my wings I will soar,\nCaterpillar no more.\nNow it's time that I spin my cocoon.", "id": 26631, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\u2022 If your brief's organized they can cull it;\n\u2022 If your idea's concise they can mull it.\n\u2022 Should a list that is numbered\nSeem grossly encumbered,\nThen highlight each bit with a bullet.", "id": 26632, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "You want room on the Federal stage?\nThere's a contract in which you'd engage?\nYou will need to encumber\nYour parts with a number\nID in a code that's called CAGE.", "id": 26633, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My book seemed to be rather small,\nSo my publisher gave me a call.\n\"It seems your computer\nNeeds an ace troubleshooter \u2014\nDrops text and it don't caret all.\"", "id": 26634, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On a floor made of sawdust, compressed,\nOr ceramic, or pine that's distressed,\nWhether plush wall-to-wall\nOr a rug in the hall,\nA carpet makes each look well-dressed.", "id": 26635, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Unlike ribbon, or shag, or a flake,\nSome tobacco arrives in a cake.\nTake a slice from the whole,\nRub it out, fill your bowl,\nBut you smoke it \u2014 it's not made to bake!", "id": 26636, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "When tobacconists throw in a casing,\nIt's not natural-flavor-replacing,\nBut a hint of a berry,\nOr anise, or sherry \u2014\nSome call it tobacco debasing.", "id": 26637, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At my door stood a man stooped and old,\nQuite a sight and a fright to behold.\nBut he looked at me hard\nAnd then offered his card:\nMephistopheles.  Lives bought ensouled.", "id": 26638, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Since the crime, but an hour had passed.\nStill, that tread imprint... Grabbing some plast-\ner of Paris, I prepped\nA moulage, which then kept\nThis fine evidence saved in a cast.", "id": 26639, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "On the water there's no one who'll care\nIf I think of my yacht as a lair.\nBelow decks is a cabin\nFor kissin' and grabbin'.\nIn time we will come up for air.", "id": 26640, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "In a cave or a mine, there's no light;\nIt's the same when you're cycling at night.\nWhere it's cold, dark, and damp,\nThe antique carbide lamp\nBurns a flame that's amazingly bright.", "id": 26641, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At my window, I think that I'll never\nGrasp the breadth of my corporate endeavor.\nOne building? No \u2014 eight\nOn a parklike estate:\nIt's a campus that goes on forever!", "id": 26642, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"'Bout that feller who's hangin' with Mary,\"\nThe Godfather said, \"I'd be wary \u2014\nWe're better off dead\nIf he sings to a Fed.\nYou know how I hate a canary.\"", "id": 26643, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A reporter (his word) up in Salem\nWrote newspaper stories.  He'd mail 'em\nTo papers he read.\n\"No, thanks,\" they all said,\nThus increasing his stockpile of balaam.", "id": 26644, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I awoke around quarter to one.\nLooked around, thinking, Where is my son?\nIn First Class! He's up grabbin'\nFree snacks from that cabin.\nHe's toast when they find what he's done.", "id": 26645, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Drawing interest, a CD's specific;\nMaking music, a CD's terrific.\nBut OEDILFers all toil\nIn the shadow of Doyle,\nWho's a limericist most prolific!", "id": 26646, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "As you're driving, you may have thought, \"What's\nThe idea behind all of these spots?\"\nWell, you'll know that you're leaving\nYour lane when you're weaving,\nPerceiving the bumps of Botts Dots.", "id": 26647, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "How is Helen of Troy, Zeus's daughter,\nLinked to lyrical songsmith, Cole Porter?\nTo Prince Alexander\nThe Cyprian planned her\nTo sing \"I love Paris\". (Well, sorta.)", "id": 26648, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Bees too (which are rounder and cuddlier,\nMore bumbling and, some would say, muddlier)\nSuck sweet, sweet botanicals\nFrom these purple panicles:\nThe \"butterfly bush\" that is buddleia.", "id": 26649, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Where do these two nobbly bits park?\nOh, this push-twist-release is a lark!\nAll my light bulbs keep quitting;\nThey're bayonet fitting\nAnd to change them's a stab in the dark.", "id": 26650, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "An acclaimed architectural artisan\nBuilt this battlement tower or bartizan.\nIt is used as a belvedere\n(A high viewing shelf).  A dear\nFriend of mine built it \u2014 I'm partisan.", "id": 26651, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There are media files (MOV)\nWhich I've downloaded to my PC.\nVIEW THEM AT YOUR OWN RISK!\nWant a copy on disc?\nI will burn you a seedy CD.", "id": 26652, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Some ap\u00e9ritifs, maybe, to start?\nAfter that, pick the menu apart...\nHave you seen the sweet trolley?\nWe can choose something jolly\nFrom the cart, once we've dined \u00e0 la carte.", "id": 26653, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Tap your toes to a Latinate beat;\nIf it's brevis in longo you meet,\nIt's an anceps-style syllable\nThat is \"short in long\"-fillable \u2014\nAt the end of your metrical feet.", "id": 26654, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Telling lies is a thing that I love,\nGiving truth the expedient shove.\nBut though mischief's on show,\nI'm a good man, below:\nI could not cheat on you... [See above.]", "id": 26655, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A sea-faring lady called Babs\nWent fishing for whitebait and dabs.\nBut a hurricane blew:\nHunkered down with her crew,\nAll she ended up catching was crabs.", "id": 26656, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "\"I would like to be vegan,\" claimed Roy.\nBut an antianemia ploy\nWas his pretext to eat\nHis daily red meat\u2014\nThough I bet he's just tired of soy.", "id": 26657, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Happy birthday to Sam, from your brother.\nYes, we share the same father and mother.\nThough they're quite an odd lot,\nThey're the set that we've got,\nAnd we cannot apply for another.", "id": 26658, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "You can see Iain's bagpipes balloon\nAs he blows; watch him squeeze out the tune.\nThere is nothing galanter\nThan him fingering his chanter!\nSet a-buzzing, the drones gently croon.", "id": 26659, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"From the White House to war, without rancour,\nI must go, though for war I don't hanker.\nNothing personal means\nEven one hill of beans.\"\n(Note that \"White House\" translates Casablanca.)", "id": 26660, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A stock market bear bravely dares\nTo sell high (and deflate?) stocks and shares\nWhich he hasn't yet bought\n(When the price drops, he ought!) \u2014\nHe \"sells bearskins before catching bears\".", "id": 26661, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"I will bet you this disc of Gene Pitney's\nAnd a couple of tankards of Whitney's\nThat there's no rhyme for pint.\"\n\"Well, my Welsh friend Geraint\nSays I'm owed 'Just One Smile' and two Britneys.\"", "id": 26662, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Adolescents, at that awkward age\nWhen they're brimming with hormones and rage,\nMight go out every night;\nBut to join them's not right \u2014\nOr that cheap, on a schoolteacher's wage.", "id": 26663, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Lexicographers opt to accost\nMalapropic old Caesar, who's lost.\nWith the river behind him,\nThey try to remind him\nA lexicon cannot be crossed.", "id": 26664, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When red and black yarns intersect,\nSo the pattern appears to be checked,\nThen the wearer is clad\nIn a buffalo plaid,\nWith a checkerboard kind of effect.", "id": 26665, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A colonial general, George,\nHaving camped on the edge of a gorge,\nTook a bit of a spill\nWhen he couldn't lie still\nOnce abed with one Valerie Forge.", "id": 26666, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An army whose chances are slender\nMight fight to the final defender,\nOr start a new chapter\nAs captive and captor:\nCapitulate\u2014simply surrender.", "id": 26667, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Balthazar's the name that it sports:\nIt's a wine merchant's glasswork, of sorts.\nNot a biblical sage\nWho's a magus or mage,\nBut a bottle that holds thirteen quarts.", "id": 26668, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "By night came an arrow anigh,\nFar too near to an ear or an igh.\nIn a narrow escape\nFrom that difficult scrape,\nNot a one of us wanted to digh.", "id": 26669, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "While a rose is a rose is a rose,\nThe word bloggers?  They'll daily compose\nSomething vital to say\nIn their web logs each day.\n(It just looks like that stuff from your nose.)", "id": 26670, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "My wife just adores the carnivora,\nSo for Christmas I thought I would give her a\nBear, as a treat.\nTo the bear, she was meat \u2014\nI got home just in time to deliver her.", "id": 26671, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Said the centipede, strolling life's path\nWith the one hundred legs that he hath,\n\"I love science, but still\nI've declared in my will\nThat I'm leaving my body to math.\"", "id": 26672, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "The camass: a beautiful lily\nWith blue and white blossoms so frilly.\nThe old Indians ate\nThe bulbs, but of late\nI make pretty bouquets for Aunt Tilly.", "id": 26673, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "See that column?  Lean back, but don't drop.\nHigh above you, it comes to a stop.\nAt the tip, way up there,\nWith decorative flare,\nIs the capital, bearing the top.", "id": 26674, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My tobacconist greeted me.  \"Ray!\nTry this mixture I made up today!\nTo Virginia pressed flake\nI add cavendish cake.\nAromatic! Delightful, I say!\"", "id": 26675, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "When the Romans my country possessed,\nIn the south of the east (not the west)\nWas where Belgic tribes were,\nAnd they never did stir\nTill, \"Go!\" fighting Jutes did request.", "id": 26676, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "There's a group, CFA, I've heard tell,\nRaising cattle, and poultry as well.\nThey raise corn.  They raise beans.\nThey raise all kinds of greens.\nBut the one thing they don't raise is hell.", "id": 26677, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He was truly a working-class chap,\nWith his whippet, his pigeons, and cap.\nBut the feathers and dung\nCaused bird-fancier's lung:\nSoon his loft had turned into a trap.", "id": 26679, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "I sent 'em a centum or more\u2014\nA bundle! A hundred! Five score!\nTwo fifties! Ten tens!\nA whole parcel of pens!\nWhatcha mean, they can only find four?", "id": 26680, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Those men who are wearing big boots\nWhisper slyly as one of them moots\nSomething sinister \u2014 what,\nThe Gunpowder Plot?\nThey're with Guy Fawkes; they're all in cahoots.", "id": 26681, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "A moose is a big kind of deer.\nHis antlers grow way out to here.\nThey drop off in late fall\nWhen he's answered love's call.\nHe's depressed for the rest of the year.", "id": 26682, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Lenore may be skinny, it's true.\nHer ballet shoe, though? Size 22!\nWhen her partner's offstage,\nStill her act's all the rage\n'Cause she dances her own pas de deux.", "id": 26683, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "Cataloger\u2014now what could that be?\nOne who catalogs things, you'd agree.\nBut the way the word sounds,\nThose who hear it have grounds\nTo think: beer that is brewed from cow's pee.", "id": 26684, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I muttered. I stuttered. I cursed.\n\"These photos you took are the worst!\"\n\"How's that?\" he demanded,\n\"You specified 'candid' \u2014\nThat's un-posed, and most unrehearsed!\"", "id": 26686, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "This could go on for hours, I sensed.\nIt was time I was racing against.\n\"Give a quick presentation\nOf short-lived duration \u2014\nA capsule \u2014 a version condensed.\"", "id": 26687, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Qermaq", "limerick": "Automakers build cars, from the bonnet\nTo the chassis, as others have drawn it.\nThey're automen too\u2014\nBut I doubt it would do\nIf you rested your footsies upon it.", "id": 26688, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Jean Piaget first mentioned centration,\nAnd influenced child education:\nKids focus on one\nThing, and meanwhile they shun\nAll the others\u2014for some years' duration.", "id": 26689, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "From a number eleven alighting\n(\"AT YOUR OWN RISK\", it warned, in bold writing)\nWhen it rounded a bend,\nI bruised my rear end,\nBut I still found it rather exciting!", "id": 26690, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The head chef recommends the banoffi:\nIt's a pie with bananas and coffee.\nIf you pour on some cream\nIt will taste like a dream!\nAnd the calories?  No more than toffee!", "id": 26691, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "Sweeping out my Orcadian floors,\nGutting fish on the Hebrides' shores,\nAnd harvesting chillies\nOn Lesser Antilles\nAre archipelagian chores.", "id": 26692, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "On a spring afternoon, I adore\nSimply browsing for books in a store.\nNot intending to buy,\n\"I'm just looking,\" say I,\nAnd the clerk lets me stay to explore.", "id": 26693, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "When the copier goes on the fritz\nAnd the printer jam sets you in fits,\nTime to call it a day.\nHang it up. Walk away.\nLock the door. Close up shop. Call it quits.", "id": 26694, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "I assumed an aggressive new stance\nWhen my pal asked my date, \"Shall we dance?\"\nI bristled with rage.\nHow dare he upstage\nMy clumsy first stabs at romance!", "id": 26695, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Over time, intermixing of races\nHas created new classes of faces.\nLike light through a prism,\nBiracialism\nMakes beauties the world now embraces.", "id": 26696, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Take a flat plastic sheet every day.\nPay for lunch.  Slide along the buffet:\nMac and cheese, soggy fries,\nSloppy joe, beef pot pies.\nFill your school cafeteria tray.", "id": 26697, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "On the Isle of Man, are there males?\nAnd does China have tableware sales?\nIs there turkey to eat\nOn an Ottoman seat?\nAre cetologists living in Wales?", "id": 26698, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Is that house down the street where that ho be?\nIt's that house made of mud and adobe.\nShe a girl who say \"Yes\"\nT'almos' any reques',\nSo on payday you knows where old Joe be.", "id": 26699, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Though the Barbary pirates are dead,\nStill, their legacy fills us with dread:\nOnce they roved on the sea,\nSailing corsairs alee;\nNow they download too freely instead.", "id": 26700, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "Cereal kick-starts the day;\nIt prepares you for work and for play.\nWheat, oat flakes and bran\nFor the regular man\nWill help keep the snacking at bay.", "id": 26703, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "A golfer who stars on TV\nFor backup will pay a good fee.\nPerhaps when he's tired\nThe caddy he hired\nWill step up and offer him tea.", "id": 26704, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "waterrocks", "limerick": "If you're working with wood, my advice is:\nThis short definition suffices\nTo explicate bolt \u2014\nNot the lightning, you dolt,\nBut a log to be chopped into slices.", "id": 26705, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "The galop from Orph\u00e9e aux enfers\nSets the cancan, a dance with French flair,\nFor a line of loose flirts,\nKicking high in loose skirts,\nWearing nothing but powder down there.", "id": 26706, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "We all long to belong, so do you\nHave a fam'ly, a country? A clue:\nWhat will hold all together\nIs dependent on whether\nYou've got ties to the others\u2014love's glue.", "id": 26708, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Of all the confounded bad luck \u2014\nThat self-righteous censor has struck!\nAnd he's blanked out a word\nThat he won't allow heard,\nAnd so blasted my rhyme scheme to ****!", "id": 26709, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Her performance is most unreliable,\nA condition that's non-rectifiable.\nIs she passive-aggressive\nOr manic-depressive?\nWhatever; she's quite certifiable.", "id": 26710, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"No ID when she happened to die.\nA corpse derelicti,\" said I.\n\"I've done this cadaver,\nYou cut-up \u2014 you have her.\"\n\"Rest in pieces,\" his only reply.", "id": 26711, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "One night a bold burglar named Bonham\nFound a hell of a hound set upon him.\nHe'd made plenty an entry,\nNot seen any sentry,\nBut missed the small sign: Cave canem.", "id": 26712, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Time to gather up stuff that I take\nWhen I head to my place on the lake \u2014\nA one-room delight,\nIt's my cabin. I might\nSpend a night or two taking a break.", "id": 26713, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A cistern or similar place in-\nto which branches and leaves might be racin'\n(Sewers can't stand the clutter\nOf junk from the gutter)\nWill catch all that stuff in its basin.", "id": 26714, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "At the shoreline I found myself saying,\n\"Let's go dancing wherever you're staying.\"\nFirst the band played \"La Bamba\",\nThen a sort of a samba \u2014\n\"Carioca\" was what they were playing.", "id": 26715, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "With her bloodstains on hands and on soul,\nThis Macbeth is not mentally whole.\nThough the lady shouts \"Out!\"\nThe damned spot is too stout.\nEre too long she will pay evil's toll.", "id": 26716, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "This music's got such a great beat\nThat I just can't stop tapping my feet.\nAt each thump of the drum\nMy right foot must succumb;\nI should move to the passenger seat.", "id": 26717, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "My house's assessed valuation\nHas increased beyond all expectation.\nPlease sign on this line,\nSo my taxes decline...\nFailing that, can you give a donation?", "id": 26718, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "There's a party out back in my yard agin,\nWith a mountain of food most bizarre! \"Dig in!\nI find warmer is better,\nI'll run in for a sweater...\"\nFumbling buttons, returned with my cardigan.", "id": 26719, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Said a strapping young rabbit named Jess,\n\"Why do chickens get all of the press?\nWell, before I could cough,\nThey had cut my things off.\nSo now capon's my form of address.\"", "id": 26720, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "I am staff, a brass hat, a plan-setter.\nCarry out my commands to the letter.\nIn the war 'gainst the Huns\nI'm behind the big guns;\nAnd the further behind 'em, the better.", "id": 26721, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "The thought of impending sensations\nGives all of us girls palpitations.\nWe shut tight our eyes\nAs we open our thighs\nFor our cervical examinations.", "id": 26722, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There's a dieting guru called Valerie\nWho garners the healthiest salary.\nHer food range (extensive)\nIs so darn expensive,\nIt works out as \u00a310 per calorie.", "id": 26723, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A, bee, cee; dee, e, ef; and then gee;\nAitch, i, jay; kay, el, em; en, o, pee;\nCue, ar, ess; tee then u;\nVee and double-u too;\nEx, wye, zed (in America, zee).", "id": 26724, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Just digestives and squash? What a scanty dote!\nAuntie Jean gives me flapjacks of candied oat,\nWith a nice cup of tea.\nI'll be fine when I see\nAuntie dote and a tea-and-oat antidote.\"", "id": 26725, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In my own university town,\n\"Dressing up\" means white tie and a gown,\nPlus a hood or a bonnet.\n(The stains they get on it\nShould get academics dressed down.)", "id": 26726, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young and SheilaB", "limerick": "Old avuncular Alf is no fool,\nThough he's friendly and laughs, as a rule,\nAnd he never forbids\u2014\nJust gets down with the kids.\nDon't you dare call my uncle uncool.", "id": 26727, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"See this document: clean bill of lading.\nI bought it. You need more persuading?\nHe signed on the line;\nNow that cargo is mine.\nIt's constructive delivery, trading.\"", "id": 26728, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Happy birthday! You've just come of age:\nTime for play \u2014 but a more mature stage.\nNow you've turned 21,\nYou'll have loads of man fun:\nYou're a big boy, by anyone's gauge.", "id": 26729, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Matt Barber", "limerick": "An average is easily had:\nSeveral numbers together you add.\nOnce achieving your sum,\nThen divide by the num-\nber of addends\u2014see, that wasn't bad!", "id": 26730, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Barber", "limerick": "My washing machine is sensational!\nIts method is quite agitational.\nIt spins, scrubs, and cleans\nDirty socks, shirts, and jeans.\nI find staring inside inspirational!", "id": 26731, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Matt Barber", "limerick": "Some use junk (craving vim like a dervish),\nPopping weight pills for figures so curve-ish.\nThis method's askew,\nYour health it will screw;\nWe can't stay artificially verve-ish.", "id": 26732, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "Stellar objects, so far yet so near,\nCan create a celestial sphere.\nThus inscribed with their trace,\nEvery star's own true place\nOn the face of this globe will appear.", "id": 26733, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "I just blurted it out when I said,\n\"Oh good grief, what is that on your head?\nIt can't be your new hat.\nIt looks like a dead rat.\"\nTurned out 'twas his toupee instead.", "id": 26734, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Come to Ireland, where folk are still keen\nOn their seaweed.  Maroon carrageen\nIs the 'Irish moss' mustered\nFor making set custard\nAnd soups which congeal in tureen.", "id": 26735, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Pick a day, any day, from the pack\nAnd then count twelve long months further back.\nWith the \"profit and loss\"\nYou prepare for your boss,\nThe accounting year's figures you track.", "id": 26736, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Since I fear I'm a fat, flabby bloke,\nI skip meals and I've started to smoke.\nBut I still super-sup\n(I chow down then chuck up).\nI'm bulimic: I binge and I boke.", "id": 26737, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Walaseca", "limerick": "A bulimic young miss from Nantucket\nWould eat and then promptly upchuck it.\nHer mom said, \"I hate\nWhen you barf on your plate,\nSo the next time, dear, please use a bucket.\"", "id": 26738, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"Does my liking agnostics seem odd?\nWell, at least these folk don't give the nod\nTo beliefs that induce\nMen, with me their excuse,\nTo slaughter each other,\" says God.", "id": 26739, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "The house Miss Jane Addams had founded,\nBy slums altogether surrounded,\nBrought hope to the poor,\nHelped their lives to mean more,\nAnd the rest of the world was astounded.", "id": 26740, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "What are these old pants, would you say?\nOne leg has been cut clean away.\nSaid the man in the know\nAt the Antiques Roadshow,\n\"They are Long John's long johns.  Worth 10K.\"", "id": 26741, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "The bird books will give me a spec\nFor the shoulders (the base of the neck).\nThose short feathers, on fowl\nLike a duck or an owl,\nAre the cape, if you get down and check.", "id": 26742, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "It's the hundredth wee part of a dollar,\nA guilder, a rand.  Do you foller?\nThe coin called a cent\nNever aims to present\nAny reason to stand up and holler.", "id": 26743, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Fill a matrix with word after word,\nOr a spreadsheet with data absurd.\nCoordinates spell\nOut the site of each cell.\nY's that X-cellent?  Ask any nerd!", "id": 26744, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I wax philosophical nightly\nOn grave matters, expounding forthrightly.\nI'm cerebrally flawed,\nBut friends know to applaud\nOr I'll tell them \"Get lost!\" most politely.", "id": 26745, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "It's a plane, the plain sycamore tree.\nAcer sycamore maple may be\nWhat Canadians cadge\nFor their maple-leaf badge;\nBut my buttonwood better suit me.", "id": 26746, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "In the army, a captain called Rob\nLiked to mess with the military mob.\nWith his friendly palm proffered\nYoung privates were offered\nA handshake \u2014 or even a job.", "id": 26747, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A back street will sometimes extend\nTo a banjo, a type of dead-end\nThat's of circular plan\nBut so small, no car can\nTurn round cleanly \u2014 it's too tight a bend.", "id": 26748, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Callipygian form, let me stare:\nPulchritudinous buttocks you bear.\n(And you bare them as well \u2014\nThat is how I can tell\nThat you have such a beautiful pair.)", "id": 26750, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"What's so funny, you pair of buffoons?\nThis is art, not a skit from The Goons.\nThough sketch comedy's fine,\nThese are dry runs in line.\"\n\"But we like Leonardo's cartoons.\"", "id": 26751, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Big and beautiful, blue-bloomed, this boon\nIs the thistle whose leaves can be chewn\nLike a celery stick.\nLook \u2014 I've sketched a quick pic,\nA cartoon of the graceful cardoon.", "id": 26752, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "As a bit of a lexical buff,\nI adore, on TV, Call My Bluff.\nWith one word to define,\nGuests tell tales. Task: divine\nWhat's the deft def and which defs are duff.", "id": 26753, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Of the spy thriller writers I've conned,\nIt's of one, Ian Fleming, I'm fond.\nIn his novels he names\nHis protagonist James;\nYou might say that his word is his Bond.", "id": 26754, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "She has hobbled me, causing me pain,\nAnd she will not release me again.\nI'll be tied to my wife\nTill the end of her life \u2014\nPlanned for Tuesday: goodbye, ball and chain!", "id": 26755, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "This aqueduct's quite like my daughter:\nThough she's shorter (and not made of mortar),\nHer chair lifts her high;\nMany homes she'd supply\nAs she silently sits, passing water.", "id": 26756, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Father Patrick has launched a crusade,\nWith liturgical works (dropped and sprayed)\nAs his weapons: \"This ruction\nDemands mass destruction,\nWith this air-to-ground missal I've made.\"", "id": 26757, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "If he thinks that his partner he'll lose,\nHe'll be quick to forswear drinking booze,\nBut faced with the liquor,\nHe'll change his mind quicker,\n'Cos the booze, not the boozer will choose.", "id": 26758, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When the honeybee team won the game,\nThere were claims about cheating\u2014for shame!\nThis they roundly denied:\n\"There's no crime on our side,\nSo how dare you befoul our name?\"", "id": 26759, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How to play \"blindworm's bluff\"? Here's the deal:\nSay you're legless and smooth, like an eel.\nNow assume that you're blind.\nAs you squirm, intertwined,\nYou identify playmates by feel.", "id": 26760, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "When a scrofulous neck swells too much,\nYou can seek out the king for his touch.\nIf you're not a fanatic,\nTry an antistrumatic,\nOr an aspirin might do in the clutch.", "id": 26761, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As a lover, he wasn't too stellar\nAs a bedder-of-jellyfish feller.\nHe's reluctant to feel her\nOn her surfaces velar,\nLike her marginal ridge, abumbrellar.", "id": 26762, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Arara, the cockatoo bird,\nHas a call, as you might have inferred,\nThat's exactly the same\nAs its palindrome name.\nRara avis just might be the word.", "id": 26763, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "Marylee was a girl who got tight\nWith a concreter down at the site.\nWhen she fell in the mixer,\nHe said \"I can fix her!\"\nAnd cemented his love through the night.", "id": 26764, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Avgolemono: Greek chicken soup.\nCook a little or feed a large group.\nRice, lemons, and eggs\nMake a dish that has legs\u2014\nFrom the paddy, the grove, and the coop!", "id": 26765, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "StephenGold", "limerick": "O pity the D-List celeb;\nIn humanity's chain, just a pleb.\nFame may be the spur,\nBut for him (or for her),\nIt takes sub-fifteen minutes to ebb.", "id": 26766, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Hammer down!\" comes the carjack command.\n\u2014 \"Hammer down, son?  I don't understand.\"\n\u2014 \"Just accelerate, pops,\nAnd don't stop for the cops.\nThey don't like us \u2014 we're citizens banned.\"", "id": 26767, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "A gentleman robber called Ralph,\nApprehended while cracking a salph,\nExclaimed, \"Me? Abscond?\nNo! My word is my bond.\nPut the handcuffs away, chaps \u2014 they chalph.\"", "id": 26768, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jesse Frankovich", "limerick": "There are watery creatures to spy\nUp above, in the sea of the sky.\nSee the body and tail\nOf that heavenly whale?\nThat is Cetus, I tell you\u2014no lie.", "id": 26769, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Canc\u00fan you're exposed to a con\nGetting telephone service turned on.\nThere's a call-waiting scheme\nThat is truly extreme:\nTakes a year to get Cellular Juan.", "id": 26770, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "If you turn a financial mistake\nInto bucks, or a terrible break\nInto gains, be apprised\nYou'll have capitalized\nOn a loss\u2014and a profit you'll make.", "id": 26771, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Something breathed will be voicelessly uttered;\nIt's whispered, not murmured or muttered.\nBy conversing this way,\nThere's less chance what you say\nWill be awkwardly spluttered or sputtered.", "id": 26772, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Buy Baltic, an Avenue small,\nFor the masses with no cash at all.\nIt's a shoddy faex populi,\nNot Boardwalk Monopoly,\nBut still sways the game, I recall.", "id": 26773, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"A void where some bone should exist\nCaused the growth of this lump in your wrist,\"\nSaid the Doc. \"There's no hurry,\nSo stop all your worry!\nI'll help you to cease \u2014 and de-cyst.\"", "id": 26774, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "The poor bellhop hauled bags up twelve flights\n'Cause the lift hadn't worked for ten nights,\nBut the guest was a pip,\nFor she gave him no tip....\nSoon the cops came and read him his rights.", "id": 26777, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "When attending a white-water school,\nThe canoeist's best friend's his cagoule.\nWhen immersed in the water,\nHe's glad that he bought a\nFab cag to keep dry (though uncool).", "id": 26778, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "The apostrophe's almost unknown\nTo the screen of my cellular phone.\nWhen I'm writing a text,\nI just say what comes next,\nUsing grammar 2 SO make u groan.", "id": 26779, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "On the Greenwich observatory's dome,\nA dropped ball signals noon.  [Time in Nome\n(BET): 1 a.m.]\nAt the Palace, for them,\nBearing Standard Time's \"'Bet is at home\".", "id": 26780, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Azimuthal arcs used to be noted\nWith transits surveyors oft toted.\nBut they're way out of date;\nGPS sets you straight.\nThose angles have now been demoted.", "id": 26781, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "In the sky, Earth's celestial pole\nIs the point 'round which stars always stroll.\nPolaris you know\nIn the north, but below\nThere's no southern pole star to extoll.", "id": 26782, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "For our home, my tall wife has acquired\nA stool, since she grew pretty tired\nOf bending so much\nJust to kiss me (and such).\nAdequation!  We're even!  Inspired.", "id": 26783, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "The Warners would run 'round the lot:\nYoung Yakko, and Wakko and Dot.\nTheir behavior was zany,\nThe dialog brainy.\n(They were locked in the tower when caught.)", "id": 26784, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carl Lands", "limerick": "Amaziah enraged the Lord when,\nWith his three hundred thousand choice men,\nHe curtailed the freedom\nOf worship in Edom,\nThen set up their idols again.", "id": 26785, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Howard Spindel", "limerick": "J.D. Salinger, pen-and-ink scratcher,\nRemarked, \"I'm a feeble plot hatcher.\nMy latest tale stunk\n('Bout a ballplayer, drunk).\nI'm rewriting The Rye in the Catcher.\"", "id": 26786, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "This certificate says you are now\nOne of us: a true citizen. How\nYou will love your new passport!\nBut hey, not so fast, sport:\nTo get it, first utter this vow.", "id": 26787, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Every gun in the battery thundered,\nAs into its range the ship blundered.\nThrough the smoke and debris,\nOrdered Hornblower, \"We\nHave to strike, even though we'll be plundered.\"", "id": 26788, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Every casualty stems from causality:\nConsequentially, that's the reality.\nIt's cause and effect:\nYou drove badly; you wrecked\nYour new car\u2014wrote it off in totality.", "id": 26789, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "\"Thy forgiveness I beg,\" said Sir Harry.\n\"I would rescue thee quickly, but marry!\nSir Gawain's right here;\nHe's an EMT, dear,\nAnd he's trained in the ways of the carry.\"", "id": 26790, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "That isn't a flute, you buffoon.\nIt's a deep double reed\u2014a bassoon.\nA Prokofiev fan, lad,\nWould know it's Pete's granddad.\nToo bad that he's way out of tune.", "id": 26791, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Every decade I change my career.\nThe first used my musical ear.\nI tried lawyering second,\nTill  humor scribe beckoned.\nWhat's next? I just can't wait to hear.", "id": 26792, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "I heard, to my utter dismay,\nA good friend's in the burn ward today.\nOnce they help him to heal,\nHis burned scalp he'll conceal\nWith a classy and stylish toupee.", "id": 26793, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Up at Oxford, I made \u2014 from supplies\nOf a cloth fit for soldiers' disguise \u2014\nA spoof banner or swag.\nIt's the scam OU flag\nEvery anti-war protest march flies.", "id": 26794, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "I bought flowers, and ironed my clothes\nFor my date with that cutie named Rose.\nBut wait! I've a breakout!\nNow how will I make out,\nWith hideous blobs on my nose?", "id": 26795, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Place your eggs in a hole in the ground\nWith some lime, salt, and ash. Make a mound.\nThen in ten days times ten,\nDig them all up and then\nServe your century eggs all around.", "id": 26796, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "If you're broke, it ain't smart to defame\nAn affluent fellow's good name.\nWith his pockets so deep,\nYour defense won't be cheap.\nNo, the law ain't a poor person's game.", "id": 26797, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "It was over before it began.\nI snuck out when he went to the can.\nThough I never could date him,\nI didn't berate him\nFor trying to pass as a man.", "id": 26798, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "They'd bestowed on us Trojans a horse.\nWhat was stowed in its hollow? A force:\nTheir most warlike and bold\nWere concealed in its hold.\nWould we rue that bestowal? Of course.", "id": 26799, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We were hunting the old Hindu Kush,\nAs our beaters tried vainly to flush\nOut a tiger espied\nIn the bush by our guide,\nWho kept beating about in the brush.", "id": 26800, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her husband is buying a car\nWith a joy she's not eager to mar,\nBut she fumes and she bristles\nWhen he adds bells and whistles\nThat exceed their tight budget by far.", "id": 26801, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "thomasjmaccoll", "limerick": "Your average music commissioner\nMay sometimes employ an auditioner\nTo check that the skill\nOf the soloist will\nNot be grounds for the crowd to throw fish on 'er.", "id": 26802, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "From his State of the Union Address,\nWho would guess that our nation's a mess?\nYet what leader would say:\n\"Things are awful today,\nAnd the fault lies with me, I confess.\"", "id": 26803, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm bewitched by a poem by Burns;\nUnderneath its smooth surface, it churns.\nI reread it and find\nNo repose for my mind,\nSo deft are his twists and his turns.", "id": 26804, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Don't ask me to bowl.  I'm the worst.\nWhen I try to, I'm bound to be cursed.\nOther bowlers complain:\n\"You must aim for your lane!\"\nNo more bowling, unless I'm coerced.", "id": 26805, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "Astrophobia means you won't soon\nBe watching a Jetsons cartoon,\nSince they frequently race\nThrough the reaches of space.\nEven calling their dog makes you swoon!", "id": 26807, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "In the jungle, plants brandish their spines\nAs they climb where the sun always shines.\nArrhizal, they're free\nTo be lords of the tree:\nThe ferocious, rapacious, crown vines!", "id": 26808, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "When I come for a cervical smear\nI take the same tack every year.\nWith my legs open wide,\nI go all glassy-eyed,\nAnd simply pretend I'm not here.", "id": 26809, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "A great sale? Hurry up, let's not tarry!\n(Though the neighborhood makes me quite wary.)\nAll this stuff is so cheap,\nOn the bargains we'll leap...\nBut beware if it's just cash and carry!", "id": 26810, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "If your boss has a heart that is hard;\nIf he makes you feel feathered and tarred;\nIf you feel gloom and fear,\nI'm the poet of cheer,\nAnd the boys in my band call me bard.", "id": 26811, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "We are camping in winter\u2014oh, BRRR!\nThe snow on our tent's thick as fur.\nHope you've brought some canned heat\nTo cook hot food to eat\u2014\nWe have water-logged logs, as it were.", "id": 26812, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a burning and harrowing pain,\nSo intense I can't help but complain.\n\"That's causalgic distress,\nBut we've had some success,\"\nSays my doc, \"by removing the brain.\"", "id": 26813, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A babblative person will patter\nAnd gibber and jabber and chatter\nAnd gabble and prattle\nAnd babble and tattle\nAnd blather and rattle and natter.", "id": 26814, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "\"Don't look at red wine,\" is the stark\nAdmonition of God, which I mark.\nIn the full light of day\nI just drink chardonnay,\nLeaving crimson shiraz till it's dark.", "id": 26816, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "I think you'd be hard-pressed to budge\nCeremonial garb from a judge.\nHe's really quite big\nOn his gown and his wig.\nTheir removal he'd likely begrudge.", "id": 26817, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "Bathysiderodromophobia's a dread\nOf subways that fills up my head\nWith irrational fear,\nSo I do not go near\u2014\nI ride Scarface, my tiger, instead.", "id": 26818, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "The bellbird the Maoris have named\nAt least twenty-six times, it is claimed.\nThe New Zealand woods ring\nWith their voice as they sing\nFrom pared range, for which humans are blamed.", "id": 26819, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Feeding cows is disgusting. My brother\nHates the work. So do I. So does Mother.\nWe take cattle cakes, friend,\nSend them down the front end,\nAnd watch cow pies come out of the other.", "id": 26820, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Is this lampshade antique or just old?\nThey tell me it's rare.  I'm not sold.\nBut I had it appraised\nAnd was rather amazed:\nIt's worth thousands, though covered in mold.", "id": 26821, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "When my hot cappuccino's denied me,\nI am steamed. I must have it inside me.\nPlease beware of my ire.\nMy need is quite dire.\nEspresso/foamed milk, or else hide me!", "id": 26822, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bearybp", "limerick": "The apostles' new band couldn't quite\nMake flamenco arrangements sound tight\nTill John 21:6\nBrought a heavenly fix:\nJesus said, \"Castanets to the right!\"", "id": 26823, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "Calcutta's atrocious Black Hole\nHeld horrors to harden the soul.\nDozens died in that cell,\nIn that dark airless hell...\nBut the tale told inflated the toll.", "id": 26824, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"My son is forgetful and lazy.\nHe's so careless, he's driving me crazy.\nHe makes needless mistakes,\nThough he's got what it takes.\nWhere's my wallet? It's all very hazy.\"", "id": 26826, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"My wife goes ballistic each year.\nShe gets mad when I shoot me a deer,\"\nSaid a man with a cause:\nStopping gun-control laws.\n\"Now I fear she'll appear with a spear.\"", "id": 26827, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Faded photos\u2014my father looks proud\nIn his uniform: later his shroud.\nHow he loved Army life,\nBut he died in the strife\nOf the battle\u2014just one of a crowd.", "id": 26828, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Human parasites' habits are foul;\nCelozoic ones live in your bowel,\nOther cavities too,\nAnywhere inside you,\nAnd the pain that they cause makes you howl.", "id": 26829, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "An American loaf made with yeast,\nAnadama bread's from the Northeast.\nBake a flour-cornmeal dough\nThat is sweetened just so\nWith molasses in bread pans, well greased.", "id": 26830, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graig Gigol", "limerick": "There was an old millionaire, Beade,\nWho decided his fortune to cede\nTo an orphanage fund.\nBut his goodness, quite stunned,\nWas confronted, and lost to his greed.", "id": 26831, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "A brandophilist smoked a cheroot,\nThen, smacking his head, exclaimed, \"Shoot!\nAn extremely rare band\nWas right there in my hand.\nNow its ashen remains make that moot.\"", "id": 26832, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Nowadays I have nothing but praise\nFor the solderer\u2014how he can braze!\nEre he soldered my pot,\nIt was sad; I could not\nBraise my veggies in ways that amaze.", "id": 26833, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "A breeding ground might be about\nSome condition or thing which, no doubt,\nCan propagate there\u2014\nSo it's basically where\nLots of animals go to make out.", "id": 26834, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Graduation's a time for great cheers,\nWhen you celebrate ending four years\nAcademically spent\nBuilding skills to pay rent.\nWe'll all toast to your health\u2014with some beers!", "id": 26835, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "My six-year-old often will balk\nAt eating a celery stalk.\nHe'll get cranky and mutter\nTill I spread peanut butter\nOn his snack...then he'll swoop like a hawk.", "id": 26836, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "This certificate wasn't quite free \u2014\nI spent six years to earn a degree.\nMy school said, \"Go fig!\nYou know things. We dig!\"\nWith this paper that says \"PhD\".", "id": 26837, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "A strange desert flower blooms at night,\nA beguilingly fragrant, rare sight.\nWhat a midsummer dream\nMust the cereus seem.\nWhat a seriously short-lived delight!", "id": 26838, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "To my townhouse, I added a floor\nIn order to sell it for more.\nAll that work in this case is\nAdjusted to basis,\nSo selling will make me less poor.", "id": 26839, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Atole's the meal made from corn\nMany Mexicans cook up each morn.\nNext a mug joins the plate,\nFor this flour is great\nMixed and drunk by both rich and low-born.", "id": 26840, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Some groups you can see are bipolar,\nAnd the laws that they follow are droller\nThan fields tied in knots.\nBut I'm talking of spots,\nFor the groups I refer to are solar.", "id": 26841, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The bank robber's speech was abrupt.\nHe was brusk. He said, \"Don't interrupt!\nI've a gun! Give me cash!\"\nThen he fled in a flash,\nLong before the alarms could erupt.", "id": 26842, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "My best friend is a laptop that docks,\nNicely handles life's shocks and hard knocks.\nIt runs Unix and DOS,\nAnd its lid grows no moss.\nBoot it up and my box really rocks.", "id": 26843, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "My garden can tend to be soggy;\nAfter rain it's distinctively boggy.\nAs I squelch in the mud,\nAnd I swear at the flood,\nAt least someone is happy \u2014 my froggie.", "id": 26844, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I'm allergic to felines; I sneeze\nAnd I tear when they're near\u2014then I wheeze.\nSo I wish you had warned\nThat your house is adorned\nWith a half-hundred cats (Siamese).", "id": 26845, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "If a symphony job is your mission,\nYou'd better learn how to audition.\nThose try-outs are trying.\nRemember, no crying!\nCan't hack it? Become a physician.", "id": 26846, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The amount an explosive will whizz\nDepends how azotic it is.\nTNT's much abused,\nThough its profits were used\nBy Nobel for that Peace Prize of his.", "id": 26847, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Greek centaurs (half man and half horse)\nCombine charm with a brute hippic force.\nWhile endowments equestrian\nAre far from pedestrian,\nDon't ride if you can't stay the course.", "id": 26848, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol O", "limerick": "Down in Oz, where the kangas abound,\nRings a widely known, finely honed sound.\nWith a zing, to the zone\nWhere initially thrown\nSoars the boomerang, zooming around.", "id": 26849, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "That young man tried to butter me up;\nHe's so sure, yet he's only a pup.\nThough his flattery's nice,\nI will have to think twice\u2014\nDo I dare take a sip from his cup?", "id": 26850, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "If I suffer a fracture, I beg\nFor a famed orthopedist named Meg.\nThe treatment is swell,\nBut expensive as hell\u2014\nShe cast me an arm and a leg.", "id": 26851, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "In Hawaii, a brief exegesis\nOn life and its roots was my thesis.\nIt brought me no joy\nThat my helping of poi\nWas a playground for biopoiesis.", "id": 26852, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Aldridge", "limerick": "The blaze was approaching quite furiously\nWhile the onlookers viewed it quite curiously.\nA backfire was planned,\nBut it got out of hand\nAnd burned more, causing harm quite injuriously.", "id": 26854, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Cleopatra's erotical fame\nPrompted Julius Caesar to claim\nHer most fertile of regions...\nTo feed all his legions\nOr fan his own personal flame?", "id": 26855, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Has the ceasefire started or not?\nCan I stand now or should I still squat?\nDo you think we should flee?\n'Cause the thing is, you see,\nI'd prefer to avoid getting shot.", "id": 26856, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Casuistic approaches to law\nHave a major unfortunate flaw:\nAs a system that bases\nConclusions on cases,\nIt might be a house made of straw.", "id": 26857, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When an ovum unites with a sperm,\nA blastula forms; it's the germ\nThat will soon be a fetus,\nAnd someday will greet us\nWhen pregnancy reaches its term.", "id": 26858, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Swollen legs, suppuration and pain,\nInflammation: of these I complain.\nAnd the cause? Streptococci,\nOr so said the doc. I\nJust call cellulitis a bane.", "id": 26859, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "The producers, directors, and stars\nArrive in long limos, not cars.\nThey're above-the-line. Crew\nAre below-the-line; few\nGet such perks from the studio czars.", "id": 26860, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "\"Those are my toys; I want you to hand 'em\nTo me.  It's not fair! You're so random.\nIf you don't give them back,\nI will launch an attack\nIn an action ad factum praestandum.\"", "id": 26861, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Doug Smeath", "limerick": "A tedious job it can be\nTo remove all the bark from a tree.\nBut someone must do it.\nMy brother Bill blew it\nIn school, so a barker is he.", "id": 26863, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bill of fare: it's a list like a menu.\nYou peruse it, you order, and then you\nHave drinks, eat your fill,\nTill they hand you the bill.\n(Next time out, choose a lower-priced venue.)", "id": 26864, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "LMAK", "limerick": "This humble Bahamian snail\nThat was studied in greatest detail,\nRevealed evolution\u2014\nSteve Gould's revolution,\nPunk-eek, was dear Cerion's tale.", "id": 26865, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Since I bought all my kittens a nightie\u2014\nCat's pajamas\u2014don't think that I'm flighty:\nMy pussies concur\n(By the way that they purr)\nTheir new teddies of fur are alrighty.", "id": 26866, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Playboy people, I'd like to suggest\nThat a centerfold model looks best\nWhen her hair's done up neatly,\nShe's naked (completely),\nAnd staples don't run through her chest.", "id": 26867, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Two capuchins, despite interference\nFrom man, have shown great perseverance.\nThe black-striped and the black\nBoth like fruit for a snack.\nBoth have names that befit their appearance.", "id": 26868, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "I've decided to make up a batch\nOf delectable cupcakes from scratch.\nI think chocolate will do.\nI'll need eggs, one or two,\nAnd a cake mix from Pillsbury, natch!", "id": 26869, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "Finely braided, of linen or cotton,\nIs this skein of soft cord I have gotten\nTo make candle wicks, snipping\nA meter for dipping.\nSoon both ends will have candles a-clottin'.", "id": 26870, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "A war-weary vet from Dalmatia\nHad served long in defense of Croatia.\n\"I can't rise, can't get hard,\"\nHe sobbed. \"\u017dena, I'm scarred!\nNow I drag, draga, due to acratia.\"", "id": 26871, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Gadzooks, sirrah! Certes, in truth,\nMy speech is outdated, foul youth.\nThe theatrical arts\nAnd Shakespearian parts\nHave certainly marked me, forsooth!", "id": 26872, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "An old bag lady searches my bins,\nFilling carrier bags with old tins.\nOut of pity I've placed,\nOn the tied sacks of waste,\nA few scratch cards \u2014 I hope that she wins.", "id": 26875, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I've no time left for any more naps\nOr relaxing by running some laps.\nIt's too late for a break,\nAnd I must stay awake.\nWhere's my vial? I'll pop a few caps.", "id": 26876, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The free Saxon landsman was blithe\nAs he gathered his crops with his scythe.\nYet these freemen, or ceorls,\nStill needed to pay earls\nRespect, and the Church took its tithe.", "id": 26877, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Centre-right: keep tax low; keep trade free.\nWe'll promote wholesome values, though we\nWill accept immigration\n(With strict limitation)\nAnd gays (if they'll keep it low key).", "id": 26878, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Long the Aussies and England both yearn\nFor the right to that precious small urn.\nThough they play other nations,\nTo standing ovations,\nIt's The Ashes that makes both teams burn.", "id": 26879, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "Acupuncturists swear they're not joking:\nThey'll help you to heal or stop smoking.\nWill it work? It indeed'll.\nJust don't mind the needle\u2014\nYou'll feel lots of pricking and poking.", "id": 26880, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "\"Quit napping!\" snapped Martha. \"Stop snoring!\nTake me up to the store for some flooring!\nAnd don't drive like a snail;\nThere's a one-hour sale!\nWhat is wrong with you, George? You're so boring!\"", "id": 26881, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Why the hell is my agent so slack?\nSeven times I've called! Can't he call back?\nThere's a call-back today\nFor that part I must play!\nIf I miss it they'll cast that jerk Jack!", "id": 26882, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "Farmers' markets are fun to explore.\nUnder tents you'll find produce galore.\nBut beware the old coot\nWho will sell as a fruit\nCedar apples; they're rust, nothing more.", "id": 26883, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "In the calaboose, life can be hard.\nThe most dangerous place is the yard.\nAll around convicts mill,\nAs some plot their next kill\u2014\nFlip a coin for a con or a guard.", "id": 26884, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "A weeper capuchin confessed,\n\"Hey, my life in the jungle's the best!\nIn the treetops each day\nI will eat, sleep, and play,\nYet my cry sounds as if I'm depressed!\"", "id": 26885, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "As soon as it's possible, rush\nThat Iditarod contract\u2014now mush!\nSigned endorsements can't wait\nTill the finish\u2014if fate\nIntervenes, we'll stay poor, not be flush.", "id": 26886, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "They applied ugly torture devices\nWithout any thought what the price is.\nWith each question they posed,\nThe detainee was hosed\nAs the lawmen performed anacrisis.", "id": 26887, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Once that bouser and noted carouser\nDrinks much more than her system allows her,\nWe'll be needing a hoist\n(Throw some rope o'er that joist)\nAnd a block and some tackle to bouse her.", "id": 26888, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When centrosymmetric relations\nGovern crystallized atoms' locations,\nEvery atom is paired,\nIts coordinates shared,\nBut with x, y, z values' negations.", "id": 26889, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As each wild conjecture is tamed,\nEvery bit of the credit is claimed;\nBitter rivals are shamed;\nThe discovery's named;\nAnd the follow-up questions are framed.", "id": 26890, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "This borough is thoroughly dumb,\nSo tomorrow, I'll borrow a sum.\nI'll have finally moved\nOnce my loan's been approved,\nBut the number is making me numb.", "id": 26891, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That shark has a stark, brilliant hue.\nIn a wreck, it endangers the crew.\nIt is found the world 'round,\nFar from shore, and renowned\nAs a man-eater, known as great blue.", "id": 26892, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The King of the Merpeople's daughter\nHad fought in a murderous slaughter.\nIn the midst of the battle,\nWe'd heard her death rattle:\nShe'd been caught, like a fish out of water.", "id": 26893, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "What pointless objectives we've sought!\u2014\nLost causes, all efforts for naught.\nWe prefer not to gripe,\nBut we're hunting a snipe,\nAnd red herring is all that we've caught.", "id": 26894, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "They tromped through the swamp in their waders,\nBut bechanced to advance on some 'gators.\nThey noted their error\nWith stark raving terror,\nWhich made them great 'gator evaders.", "id": 26895, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Benzopyrene a bloke might obtain\nFrom the smoke of a coal-fired train:\nFive fused honeycomb rings\u2014\nPolycyclical things\u2014\nTwenty carbons arranged in a plane.", "id": 26897, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Dark wizards were recently sighted,\nIn masks and in costumes bedighted,\nGone witching, no doubt\u2014\nHalloween, they come out\u2014\nThough their victims seem oddly delighted.", "id": 26898, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Errant thoughts that I ought to regain\nFrom the twists and the bends of my brain\nSeem determined to flee,\nTo escape and win free,\nToo elusively quick to retain.", "id": 26899, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A wayward young maid, who's dismayed\nBy her tryst in the mist of a glade,\nStarts to shriek a critique\nOf her boyfriend's technique,\nIn a pique over being mislaid.", "id": 26900, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "As the girls wander by where he sits,\nThat old birdwatcher's keeping his wits.\nWith binoculars trained\nAt the trees, he explained\nTo those birds what he meant by \"Nice tits!\"", "id": 26901, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "As a lonely old Andamanese,\nHis first trip to New York was a breeze.\nWhen I said, \"To buy mops\nWe must visit mop shops.\"\nHe said, \"Take me to beauty shops, please!\"", "id": 26902, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "For a housewarming gift, I told Shane,\n\"Buy a cutting board, wooden and plain.\"\nBut instead of a bread board,\nHe brings home a bed board.\nSending men to go shopping? Insane!", "id": 26903, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Her manner, informal and breezy,\nMade her dates all assume she was easy,\nBut they found she was not.\nWhen a fellow got hot\nShe would slap him and say, \"Don't be sleazy!\"", "id": 26904, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Aliza", "limerick": "I wanted to buy blue-chip stocks,\nGet my pension plans off of the rocks.\nSo I bought some GE\nWith my last client's fee\nAnd the cash I had stashed in my socks.", "id": 26905, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "As our raft begins picking up steam,\nWe accelerate swiftly downstream.\nWhen I ask our guide why,\nI don't hear his reply,\nSince the waterfall drowns out his scream.", "id": 26906, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "My wife had this awful cat Mack\u2014\nMy fish tank he loved to attack.\nSo I bought a caribe\nAnd named her Miss Phoebe.\nSoon Mack was her afternoon snack.", "id": 26907, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "Abietic's the acid within\nSoftwood resins that irritate skin.\nYet my ears are what fear it\nWhen my kid starts to smear it\nOn the bow of his new violin!", "id": 26908, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Private funding in hand, we'll revamp\nAll the open-air chapels at camp.\nThey'll be woodsy and bosky\nAnd churchy and mosque-y\nAnd synagoguesque. (Also damp.)", "id": 26909, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "DBRHoffman", "limerick": "A \"B\" at the top of your test\nDenotes that you're not quite the best.\nWhile \"A+\" receivers\nAre over-achievers,\nYou're there in the back with the rest.", "id": 26910, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh.adler", "limerick": "They said to me, \"Son, listen here:\nNow for rhyme you've an excellent ear,\nBut that anapest metre\nCould be made a lot sweeter\u2014\nYour attitude towards it is nothing less than cavalier.\"", "id": 26911, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "A bissextile, now let's be quite clear,\nBrings an extra full day, so don't leer\nAt the word; you may sneer,\nBut there's naught naughty here:\nNo, it's just a posh name for leap year.", "id": 26914, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "A centennial party is held\nEvery one hundred years that are felled\nBy a person or nation.\nIn grand celebration,\nThe cry of centenary's yelled.", "id": 26915, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "The fact that we speak, I would say,\nIs distinctive to man's DNA.\nLikewise, birds wear their plumes,\nAnd the skunks have their fumes;\nApomorphic (unique) traits are they.", "id": 26916, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Fairy godmothers singing the blues\nIn their kerchiefs and sensible shoes\nCan bring crowds to their feet,\nBut I stay in my seat\nAnd shout bibbidi-bobbidi-boos.", "id": 26917, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "\"Billabong\", \"Billabong\", \"Billabong\",\nTo a surfer, it rings like a gong.\nIt's a call to the sea\nTo come tango with me\nAnd together we'll dance all day long.", "id": 26918, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "'His father? They say no one knows;\nHe's a bantling, that boy, and it shows.\nAnd his mother? Some wench\nWho likes sex on that bench\u2026'\nBut they cried, 'The poor boy's got your nose.'", "id": 26919, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Reia Light", "limerick": "The disorder called ADHD\nMakes it hard to sit still, and you see,\nIf I can't pay attention,\nI'll get a detention!\nNow, where can my Ritalin be?", "id": 26920, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Driving home? Better not! Leave the car,\nFind your cash, and stub out your cigar.\nThere's some excellent beer,\nAnd it's almost New Year;\nCome on, Paul \u2014 make your way to the bar.", "id": 26921, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Virge", "limerick": "I've fostered his faith all along,\nYet my child (who I thought would stay strong)\nTo apostasy strays\nAnd to blasphemous ways.\nOh bugger, where did I go wrong?", "id": 26922, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Please say it gets better, not worse,\nThis obsessive constructing of verse!\nI've tried counting sheep,\nBut can't get to sleep,\nWhile in limericks, myself I immerse.", "id": 26923, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Though I've always found limericks fun,\nThe OEDILF's clever editors stun\nMe with re-writing rhymes\nAt least five or six times,\nTill they finally say it can run.", "id": 26924, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Agar agar's a weird sort of food,\nMade of seaweed, first boiled and then stewed.\nIt makes a firm jelly,\nThat's not at all smelly:\nIt's food for a prude, not a dude.", "id": 26925, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Your excuse simply can't be believed.\nYou're a liar! I feel quite deceived,\"\nSaid the gal, as she wept,\nTo her lover, who'd slept\nWith her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)", "id": 26927, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "You're the heir, as it now lies revealed,\nThough the union has long been concealed.\n'Twas not blessed by a minister\nAnd so there's a bend sinister\nHeraldic device on your shield.", "id": 26928, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "First he said, \"I am rubber; you're glue.\"\nThen he said, \"Bounce off me, stick to you.\"\nThough not his intent,\nIt expounds on cement,\nWhich can weld all your fingertips, too.", "id": 26929, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The word we are studying, thus,\nIs camion, meaning \"motortruck; bus.\"\nDerivation: Fran\u00e7ais.\nAnd so this is the way\nWe pronounce it: kam-YOHN. Now discuss.", "id": 26930, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "It's essential to learn from mistakes\nAnd to not place the blame on bad breaks.\nIf you curse lousy luck\nOr try passing the buck,\nRun for office. You have what it takes!", "id": 26931, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "His board was a fiberglass wonder,\nBut no surfboard's safe when you blunder.\nSurfer Dan went too near\nTo the rocks by the pier.\nIt's not water he's now six feet under.", "id": 26932, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Do not bait me,\" he said, eyes aflash,\n\"Cause, I warn you, to do so is rash.\nBe advised: Don't debate me.\nOpponents soon hate me\nFor smashing their trash-talk to hash.\"", "id": 26933, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I could certify, sign and attest\nThat she's mad \u2014 yes, she'd go for a 'rest'.\nBut I also must state,\nTo be rid of one's mate,\nThat divorce, though it costs more, is best.", "id": 26934, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "\"Pauly's All-You-Can-Eat\"\u2014that's my style!\nFilling up on the cheap makes me smile.\nI have servings galore,\nSeconds, thirds, fourths, and more.\n(It's a pity the food is so vile.)", "id": 26935, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "What a troublesome, noisy young fellow!\nYou exuberant boy, must you bellow?\nMake a mellower sound:\nGentle, velvety, round\u2014\nCould you try to be more like a cello?", "id": 26936, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bill Middleton", "limerick": "Two boxers! Just look at their size!\nOne's biting an ear\u2014he's no prize!\nThey're both covered with bruises.\nThe ear biter loses.\nThis sure was a fight for sore guys.", "id": 26937, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My opponent has heatedly stressed\nMy proposals are useless at best,\nAnd upon me he's gloomily\nHeaping contumely\n(Apodioxis, I've guessed).", "id": 26938, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "I admit carnal thoughts fill my mind\nWhen I gaze on my lover's behind.\nWill living with ardour\nGet harder and harder\nWhen my lover and I are entwined?", "id": 26939, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "The IRON(ing) Knight", "limerick": "The brewmaster doesn't make wine,\nOnly beer that should taste quite divine.\nSo please don't delay.\nFill my mug up today.\nA pint of your best will do fine.", "id": 26940, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I took on a cowhand, the battle\nWas correcting his oddly phrased prattle.\nI've been trying to teach\nHim our Western-style speech.\nHe says \"beeves\"\u2014that's his way to say cattle.", "id": 26941, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Some say Cadbury's is better than Lindt,\nBut that only applies if you're skint.\nFor true chocoholics,\nBeguiled by their frolics,\nMister Cadbury won't cost them a mint.", "id": 26942, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "You might think that a really good prize\nIs a buffalo, full-grown in size,\nBut a hoof at each corner\nAnd sharp horns should warn yer\nTo hunt it with only your eyes!", "id": 26943, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "While hurtling at cool breakneck speed,\nShe screamed, and he kind of agreed:\nWhen driving through town\nIt's best to slow down,\nIf staying alive is your need.", "id": 26944, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Out of Charity no-one would kill,\nNor in Hope would they seek to do ill.\nBut with Faith some deceive\nTheir own selves, and believe\nThat by killing they're doing God's will.", "id": 26945, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "It was once deemed a sin black as soot\nTo place at a sentence's foot\nA mere preposition.\n\"Absurd superstition,\nUp with which,\" Churchill roared, \"I'll not put.\"", "id": 26946, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "c_tennety", "limerick": "If you go to the gym, then you know\nPumping iron helps muscles to grow.\nBut building up meat\nIn your cheeks is no feat:\nYou just use 'em to chew and to blow.", "id": 26947, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kim Le", "limerick": "The lives of black plums are worth squat\nIf you dwell in Death Valley: it's hot!\nFor these stone fruits (not black\nBut deep purple), alack,\nWould soon prune if you just plum forgot.", "id": 26948, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "They told me to back up my drive,\nWhich has crashed\u2014it's no longer alive.\nHad I heeded their warning,\nI wouldn't be mourning\nMy data, which didn't survive.", "id": 26949, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David Franks", "limerick": "To the home of my lovely intended\nI hurried. The moment was splendid:\nI asked for her hand,\nKnowing well not to stand\u2014\nMy knee, per the saying, was bended.", "id": 26950, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "It's the cause of my dear wife's frustration,\nThis newly discovered fixation.\nOur shared time I pilfer;\nMy role? An OEDILFer.\nShe hopes I will halt\u2014a cessation.", "id": 26951, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "East Indians hold in esteem\nTheir hardy mahogany, neem.\nThis arid tree's sprigs\nAre eaten. Its twigs?\nBug repellant and toothbrush supreme!", "id": 26952, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "Have you tried axiomatization?\nThe process is marked by frustration:\nYou'll find, once it's done,\nThat you've only begun\u2014\nBut you will have a solid foundation.", "id": 26953, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "Muscularity stretching his shirt\n(Which was sweaty and stained) made her blurt,\n\"His rough brawniness there\nAnd his strength made me stare.\nGreat physique, but I don't like the dirt.\"", "id": 26954, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "The resentment was clear on her face.\nShe said, \"I'm not the cheat in this case.\"\nStiff-necked, she restrained\nHer wrath and complained\nAs she bridled against the disgrace.", "id": 26955, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "A new breadboard, on which dough is kneaded,\nShould be hardwood, if custom is heeded.\nYou won't need so much dough\nTo buy plastic, but know\nThat your bread slicing may be impeded.", "id": 26956, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "One must catalog books with respect\nTo the subjects they clearly reflect,\nSince the headings will lead\nSearching patrons to heed\nNeeded books they might elsewise neglect.", "id": 26957, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "'Twas the first day to diet. I tried\nFilching one tiny cookie.  I cried.\nThe cellophane sheet\nLets me peek at the treat\nBut keeps moisture and me from inside.", "id": 26958, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He had wanted to be in the club,\nBut was subject to many a snub,\nSince his family tree\nWas two-thirds chimpanzee.\nHe repaired to the pub, where he'd blub.", "id": 26959, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An anatomist said, \"Notice bends\nJust beyond where the colon descends:\nAs I cut to dissect, I\nSee flexura recti,\nAnd then the digestive tract ends.\"", "id": 26960, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Devoutly, she worships at night,\nIn religious pursuit of  delight,\nAs a lover so lithesome,\nGone coupling, blithesome,\nThe consummate lighthearted spright.", "id": 26961, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Here's your baddha konasana guide:\nSit up straight, with one leg to each side\nIn this bound-angle pose,\nWhere you're holding your toes,\nWith your soles pressed together, knees wide.", "id": 26962, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Colonna", "limerick": "Theda Bara was known as \"The Vamp,\"\nWhich was silent-screen lingo for \"tramp.\"\nShe leered and she wriggled,\nShe shook and she jiggled,\nTill cinema seats were quite damp.", "id": 26963, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "Here's a cask (or a barrel); it's round,\nAnd it's chock full of herrings \u2014 a mound!\nIt was used, once, for trade\nAnd they called it a cade,\nThough today by that name it's not found.", "id": 26964, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The capuchins called white-faced excel\nIn intelligence\u2014service, as well.\nThe handicapped choose them,\nOrgan grinders would use them,\nAnd on Friends, there's the role of \"Marcel.\"", "id": 26965, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "The capuchin they call yellow-breasted\nAs a group has been sadly arrested.\nThat their problems began\nWith the influx of man\nIs a fact that has gone uncontested.", "id": 26966, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Think of celadon, pale, milky green,\nLike a honeydew's flesh that you've seen,\nOr such delicate things\nAs a luna moth's wings\nOr the skin of a fresh lima bean.", "id": 26967, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Common sense should convince you of this:\nThat a Frenchman invented the kiss,\nAnd an Indian, ink.\nApodixis, I think,\nShows that cheese-holes must come from the Swiss.", "id": 26968, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dr. Work", "limerick": "In two-thousand-and-four we began\nThe OEDILF's brobdingnagian plan:\nTo define every word\nWith a limerick. Absurd?\nIt's our Anapest Destiny, man!", "id": 26970, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young and Dottie", "limerick": "\"J. S. Bach \u2014\" said the muso from Ibrox,\n\"Contrapuntal perfection: his vibe rocks.\nHe's not early baroque\n(Monteverdi's old stock):\nPapa Bach is the first of the high b'roques.\"", "id": 26971, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Val", "limerick": "To be slim, fatty food you must fling,\nFor the celery diet's the thing;\nThough it makes your jaws ache\nYou'll stay thin as a rake\nOn a diet of watery string.", "id": 26972, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "By Being in second place you,\nB-list B, denote those in grade two.\nBe Busy, though \u2014 strive!\nBut as Bees in a hive,\nBumBle's never the queen of the crew.", "id": 26975, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "He answered with breezy celerity,\nTo swiftly establish the 'verity'.\nThough he'd hidden the gun\nHad they seen what he'd done?\nHis one chance lay in speed and temerity.", "id": 26976, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Barefoot Betty expressed agitation\nAnd shock as she cried out, \"Damnation!\"\nShe'd been walking where cows\nHad been set out to browse,\nAnd she stepped in a pile of cacation.", "id": 26977, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "My neighbor has diamonds galore,\nAnd buckets of money, and more.\nI'd consider a break-in\nBut fear I would waken\nThat cerberus guarding the door.", "id": 26978, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "When a broadcast wave varies in size\nBy a change in the height of its rise,\nThis strength variation\nIs amplitude modulation,\nThough such broadcasts are facing demise.", "id": 26979, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "The Chronicle called Anglo-Saxon\nIs ancient and, therefore, it lacks on\nThe grounds that its history\nIs shrouded in mystery:\nReports that turn all sorts of quacks on.", "id": 26980, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and mephistopheles", "limerick": "I expected reactions profound\nWhen my thesis was handed around\nAt my masters defense,\nBut what broke the suspense\nWere guffaws\u2014a cachinnatory sound.", "id": 26981, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "All for naught, I'd become overwrought\n'Bout that fish that I oughta have caught.\nI've gone shoppin' instead,\nWhere they're already dead.\nShoulda seen what I coulda done bought.", "id": 26982, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Biopolymers like DNAs\nPack in regular crystal arrays.\nTheir electrons' reaction\nTo x-rays\u2014diffraction\u2014\nGets photons to scatter in phase.", "id": 26983, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "We've been watching you training your brain,\nAnd we envy your brainpower gain.\nBut a mind so immense\nShould at least have the sense\nTo come in from outdoors in the rain.", "id": 26985, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Some riders love animals dearly,\nWhile others regard them as merely\nTheir beasts to abuse.\nAs for me, I refuse\nTo treat horses so damned cavalierly.", "id": 26986, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "For enlightenment, I can see why\nThese fluorescents are bulbs you might buy.\nBut desiring florescence,\nYour bulbs should, in essence,\nBe bought from a nursery supply.", "id": 26987, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Isn't Romeo Montague keen?\"\nGushed Julie the Capulet teen.\nBut their passion cost dear:\nIt was curtains, I fear,\nBy the end of the ultimate scene.", "id": 26988, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Receptors called alphas and betas\n(Adrenergic response mediators)\nHelp prepare fight-or-flight\n(Of these, alphas excite)\nIn your sudden encounter with 'gators.", "id": 26989, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "From your blood, we have taken great pains\nTo spin down all the cells it contains.\nBlood serum's the buff-\nColored watery stuff,\nAt the top of the tube, that remains.", "id": 26990, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "You're a vagabond, aimlessly rootless,\nAnd your effort's consistently fruitless.\nStill, you never say die,\nAs you bootlessly try\nWhat is pointless and stupidly bootless.", "id": 26991, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The mellowest fellow I've met,\nHaving swallowed a rat on a bet,\nHad allowed, as he died\nFrom the chomping inside,\nThat it might have been something he et.", "id": 26992, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "They might drop, being fitting and proper,\nIn your handy industrial hopper:\nThese blue vitriol dyes,\nUsed in poison supplies,\nAre all hydrated sulfates of copper.", "id": 26993, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "That Post Office worker's a jerk\nFrom the pressures he's feeling at work.\nHe can no longer hide\nAll his feelings inside:\nAny moment he might go berserk!", "id": 26994, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Acacia melanoxylon\nIs the blackwood an Aussie might smile on.\nFrom this tree called a wattle,\nHe likely as not'll\nCraft chairs to sit once in a while on.", "id": 26995, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since his wound from the spear is severe,\nThey will cauterize, meaning to sear\nWith an iron so hot\nIt can make the blood clot,\nBut I fear it's a pain in the rear.", "id": 26996, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm struggling to sort through this stack,\nKeeping track of the paint on this rack.\nUp I clumsily clamber\nPast umber and amber\nTo track down the black in the back.", "id": 26997, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My vassals are building a castle:\nHereabouts, its redoubts cost a passel.\nBut in fact, if we're thwacked,\nOr besieged and attacked,\nIt's undoubtedly worth all the hassle.", "id": 26998, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Both capitates fractured!\" he groans,\n\"And my lunates and pisiform bones;\nIn particulars, my multangulars,\nMy naviculars and triangulars,\nAnd my hamates are damaged,\" he moans.", "id": 26999, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A bitter young bettor had bet,\nUsing assets he didn't have yet,\nPlacing bets unrestrained.\nHe'd have better refrained\nFrom his betting and getting in debt.", "id": 27000, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I'm-a help-a my third cousin Sonia\nAt her shop in-a central Bologna.\nI watch as Luigi\nWipes off with a squeegee\nThe windows I sprayed with ammonia.", "id": 27001, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Compassion inspired his pranks.\nHe provided a gun full of blanks.\nWhen out hunting I shot\nAnd I found I could not\nReally hit something\u2014then I gave thanks.", "id": 27002, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A bowl of cold-milk-covered cereal\nHas a taste you'd describe as ethereal:\nEvery satisfied munch\nHas that wonderful crunch.\n(What it does to your waist's immaterial.)", "id": 27003, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Aurigation's been grandly portrayed;\nOld vacations, less ably displayed \u2014\nSome brilliant, some bland,\nOn a celluloid band,\nThe stuff on which movies are made.", "id": 27004, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carole Lyons", "limerick": "Webster's Third International's version\nOf my word makes it worth an excursion.\nApadana would be\nThe great hall that you'd see\nIn palaces, ancient and Persian.", "id": 27005, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "A beetle's a big wooden hammer\nThat's used as a bonker or rammer.\nMost cons that you meet'll\nConcur that a beetle\nIs just what you need in the slammer.", "id": 27006, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "If you're captious you think that it's neat\nTo find fault with each person you meet.\nIn all you survey,\nNothing measures up \u2014 Nay!\nJust to please you would be quite a feat.", "id": 27007, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Basingstoke", "limerick": "Aeolian soil is strewn\nBy the wind; it may heap in a dune.\nFiner grains are called loess,\nAnd they'll make quite a mess\nWhen blown through your windows in June.", "id": 27008, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "stella and Dottie", "limerick": "See those pots with a lopsided list\nThat the ceramist potted while pissed?\nHe glugged whisky slugs\nFrom his mugs and his jugs!\nNow the pottering pisspot's dismissed.", "id": 27009, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The cattails are marsh-dwelling reeds\n(Called the bulrush in places like Leeds).\nLook near ditches and dikes\nFor their furry brown spikes\nStanding tall among sedges and weeds.", "id": 27011, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Blond capuchin: a monkey so new\nThere's not one, as of yet, in a zoo.\nIt was out in the sticks\nOf Brazil in '06\nThat this charmer first came into view.", "id": 27012, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "She's my better half\u2014two little words\nMeaning \"spouse,\" but that term's for the birds.\nI admit, with dismay,\nShe weighs so much today,\nI would say she's my better two-thirds.", "id": 27013, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "When in Paris, and feeling audacious,\nI met Kate, who was cutely vivacious.\nBut in the hotel\nMy garlicky smell\nPut her off: I was far too cepaceous.", "id": 27014, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When I was a kid, Mum would scold,\nWhenever some snow was foretold,\n\"Though your clothes may be cool,\nDon't behave like a fool;\nIf you go out like that, you'll catch cold!\"", "id": 27015, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "To eat burgers all day was the plan,\nSo I fried a whole load in a pan,\nBut the meat in those buns\nOnly gave me the runs.\nNow I'm spending all day on the can.", "id": 27016, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Cacophonous sounds jar the ear;\nThey're not pleasant for people to hear.\nMix teenagers' yells,\nClanging pots, ringing bells\u2014\nCacophony? Well, pretty near!", "id": 27017, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "The astronomer worried all night \u2014\nWas the absolute magnitude right?\nBolometric correction\nHas led to rejection\nOf papers on galaxies' light.", "id": 27018, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Take a celibate priest; it's construed\nThat he's quite unaware of things lewd.\nAll those prurient minds\nShould get off their behinds.\nIf he doesn't have sex, he's a prude?", "id": 27019, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "I've heard that in Germany there's a\nNew cheese that's quite creamy, yet shares a\nFormaggio thrust\nWith its white fromage crust \u2014\nCambozola: a composite K\u00e4se.", "id": 27020, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "StephenGold", "limerick": "Glasgow Celtic play football in green;\nThey are famous from Tashkent to Tignes.\nTheir fans welcome strangers,\nUnless they're from Rangers,\nWhose reception is frankly obscene.", "id": 27021, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "OxfordVictor", "limerick": "A boilerplate contract can scare,\nFor the small print deceives. Be aware!\nOr you'll pray the judge penning\nThe judgement is Denning:\n\"The terms will be void if unfair.\"", "id": 27022, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "The bee eater's an African bird,\nAnd bees without stingers?  Preferred.\nSo it rubs the caught bee\nOn a surface to free\nThe stinger, its poisons deterred.", "id": 27023, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "At a farm, in an ancient Welsh house,\nThere's a taster-in-chief who's a mouse.\nWhat he's testing's a dream\nMade from curds made from cream:\nThe eponymous Caerphilly caws.", "id": 27024, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Reia Light and Engineer", "limerick": "Said the singer of hair band Death's Door,\n\"When the bridge ends at bar 24,\nGrab the bridge of your bass\nAnd start trashing the place,\nWhile I scream the refrain one time more.\"", "id": 27025, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "It's a cinch that the ball fell behind\nWhere our tennis court's vividly lined.\nI'm astounded\u2014it sounds\nLike he found it in bounds.\nI'm convinced that the linesman is blind.", "id": 27026, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An acarid\u2014mightn't he bite,\nA mite hungry for blood in the night?\nTake a stab and predict:\nMight we get mighty ticked\nWhen afflicted? We very well might.", "id": 27027, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Roger Dunn", "limerick": "By the light of the silvery moon,\nNeil Armstrong, reluctant to croon,\nSaid with modest elan,\n\"That's one small step for man.\"\nAdded, \"Cheese? No, it's rock! See you soon.\"", "id": 27028, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Perhaps there lies waiting offscreen\nA perpetual motion machine.\nIts ceaseless gyration\nDefies conservation\nOf energy.  Likely it's green.", "id": 27029, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SusanL", "limerick": "My opponent just gave me a nip\nIn my trousers, which now have a rip.\nHe's unbuttoned his blade,\nNow I'm sorely afraid\nI'll be pierced by that razor-sharp tip.", "id": 27030, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "You are not certifiably nuts,\nBut you've sure got a surfeit of guts.\nWhen I asked if you'd fly,\nI meant planes in the sky,\nNot a jump off the roof, you dumb putz.", "id": 27031, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Their speed caused the crash, one assumes,\nThat put Martha and George in their tombs.\nSince their deaths, they now dwell\u2014\nLike all speeders\u2014in Hell.\n(George requested [and got!] separate rooms.)", "id": 27032, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "On a farm with no sewer connection\nYou need to store waste for collection.\nA cesspit well sealed,\nIn your neighbouring field,\nIs ideal: after building inspection.", "id": 27034, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Writing limericks, I'd say, can take guts,\nSince we sit every day on our butts\nWriting more upon more\nBrilliant poetry (or\nWe are all certifiably nuts!).", "id": 27035, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "You lied in your last deposition,\nFurther weak'ning your flimsy position.\nI've been fleeced, I can see\u2014\nIt's apparent to me\u2014\nSo an out-of-court deal ain't my mission.", "id": 27036, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "There are certainties out there, like dying\nAnd taxes, that no kind of trying\nCan help you evade.\nSo don't be afraid,\nJust accept them\u2014it saves you the crying.", "id": 27037, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "This plant's belladonna, the lily,\nMeaning \"beautiful woman.\"  It's silly\nThat it's called \"naked lady\"\u2014\nWhich makes it sound shady.\nAmaryllis, you're truly a dilly!", "id": 27038, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In your sculpture, Nude Woman, the section\nFrom shoulder to hip needs correction.\nWe've a model, so please\nObserve carefully\u2014she's\nBeau ideal; she's Nature's perfection.", "id": 27039, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Now they all would call back when she phoned!\nShe was sure she had joined the beau monde\nAnd had kissed young Prince Harry,\nAnd proposed that they marry,\nBut it seems that she simply was stoned.", "id": 27040, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Should you smell one, you'd give a wide berth\nTo a cesspool, for all you are worth.\nSo avoid places rank\nThat are named for this tank \u2014\nThey're awash with the scum of the earth.", "id": 27041, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "We've a meal for tonight that's gourmet \u2014\nI went hunting and came home today\nWith a freshly killed deer,\nSo we've venison here.\nCome on, dinner is cervid. \"Hooray!\"", "id": 27042, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At the sushi shop, eating sashimi\u2014\nThere I sat and I flirted with Mimi.\nIt's the place, my friends know,\nWhere the bourgies all go,\nSo I'm hoping my neighbors won't see me!", "id": 27043, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "My kid brother's pleuritic, and often he\nMakes a tremulous vocal cacophony,\nWith a sound (and I quote)\n\"Like an immature goat\"\nThat the specialists call an aegophony.", "id": 27044, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Though a sailor may make a boation,\nIt has nothing to do with flotation,\nA sail, or an oar;\nIt's a bellow or roar\u2014\nJust a manner of vocalization.", "id": 27045, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Bart Bok thought that globules were right\nTo be sources of new stellar light.\nWhen the Star-Maker comes\nAnd he bakes, these are crumbs,\nCoal black like a hole in the night.", "id": 27046, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "If a Scotsman's a carlie, he's small;\nNa' a lad you'd call lanky or tall.\nHe's decidedly wee\u2014\nFive-foot-two, five-foot-three.\nNae, his height's na' impressive at all.", "id": 27047, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Methanogens' musical arts\nVia acetoclastis, play parts\nUsing basso-phenomenal\nExtra-abdominal\nHuman and ruminant farts.", "id": 27048, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "birdbarf", "limerick": "In a distant celestial romance,\nTwo great spheres are engaged in a dance.\nGravitation'ly bound,\nPartnered stars whirl around,\nLinked fore'er by ethereal chance.", "id": 27049, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Any place where you look in the sky,\nA celestial point you'll espy,\nLike a planet or star,\nOr voids in the bar\nOf the Milky Way's belt, way up high.", "id": 27050, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "The solo violist played well,\nWith strong bowing, tone clear as a bell.\nBut she messed up the end;\nWhen the time came to bend\nFor her bow, she got dizzy and fell.", "id": 27051, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "There once was a would-be musician\nWhose dream didn't come to fruition.\nNot picked by The Dead \u2014\nLearns a trade now instead,\nThrough apprenticeship with a mortician.", "id": 27052, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A gopher, exceedingly thorough,\nFinds a field's most felicitous furrow.\nIt's a suitable start;\nTime to practice his art \u2014\nTo claw through the earth and to burrow.", "id": 27053, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "What a ballsy and brave Tudor bragger\nWas he, with his sharp ballock dagger.\nThis keen phallic knife\nSure impressed every wife,\nAnd caused many a husband to stagger.", "id": 27054, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "art bates", "limerick": "A young student, who looked rather drawn,\nHad developed his brain o'er his brawn.\nTaking courses all day\nLeft him no time to play\u2014\nAnd he studied from dusk until dawn.", "id": 27055, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "StephenGold", "limerick": "Calvin warned us it's sinful to dance,\nOr to burn with desire for romance.\nIt would surely amaze\nHim to know nowadays\nThat his name is a byword for pants.", "id": 27056, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "dwalker", "limerick": "The acceleration principle shows\nThat when income is shrinking or grows,\nThe investments will go\nEven more high or low\u2014\nSomething every economist knows.", "id": 27057, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "This expert in clay fashions lots\nOf great stoneware \u2014 some plain, some with spots.\nThis glaze-guru geezer\nIs kiln-savvy \u2014 he's a\nCeramicist: maker of pots.", "id": 27058, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "I'm invited to go to a party\u2014\nFancy-dress, but the food won't be hearty.\nSculptors, writers-in-verse,\nFashionistas and worse:\nSo pretentious, and so arty-farty.", "id": 27059, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The radioactive decay\nOf an alpha source \u2014 lethal, OK?\nYou'd better not try it\nAs part of your diet \u2014\nDon't go the polonium way!", "id": 27060, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is helpful to measure the head\nDuring labor, or so I have read,\nAs this cephalometric\nStep helps the obstetric\nTeam know when to section instead.", "id": 27061, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "In a chase down the freeway, I thought\nI'd escaped the policemen that sought\nTo arrest me. Instead,\nA damn road block ahead\nHad me trapped, and I knew I'd been caught.", "id": 27062, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin Lucas", "limerick": "An exhibit where donkeys amass\nIs on view to the public through glass.\nOne day at this zoo\nA blind donkey broke through\nAnd encountered a pane in the ass.", "id": 27063, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "The Apellitae tended to doubt it\n(The Ascension, or something about it):\nTheir teachings involved\nHow Christ's body dissolved\nAs he rose into heaven without it.", "id": 27064, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Sexuality, Abelites said,\nHad no place in the marital bed.\nBut today, one suspects\nThat abstaining from sects\nIs a path that is much more widespread.", "id": 27065, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "Being monks, as it were, without vows,\nCertain Beghards began to espouse\nA distinct predilection\nFor talk of perfection\nThat Rome, by and large, disallows.", "id": 27066, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I was searching for Great Uncle Fred\nIn the census, and here's what I read:\nHe raised pigs, married Maud,\nAlso raised a large horde\u2014\nTwenty children! No wonder he's dead.", "id": 27067, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "An Amsler grid's made up of lines;\nThe use of it clearly defines\nAny limits of field\nIn the vision. Revealed:\nScotomata and sinister signs.", "id": 27068, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "David Cameron, \"New Tory Hope\",\nIs both clever and charming\u2014no dope?\nOh he's longing to be\nThe Prime Minister. See\nIf he'll hang himself, given the rope.", "id": 27069, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Kevin", "limerick": "John Betjeman wrote he was sorry\nTo see that old Bath was a quarry,\nWhere people were starting\nTo wreck it by carting\nIt \"off by developer's lorry\".", "id": 27070, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Of the animals here in the zoo,\nI like bears, apes and elephants too.\nThe tigers are dear cats\nAnd as for the meerkats,\nThey're cute, but my favourite is you!", "id": 27071, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "On the first night of Channukah, hark\nTo the cantor who chants by the Ark.\nKindly stifle your swoons;\nAlmond-laced macaroons\nHeaped your plates with menorah's first spark.", "id": 27072, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "An engineer genius, McGrath,\nSaid, \"Caltech taught me all about math.\nStudents there will excel\nIn all science as well.\nNow the world, to my door, beats a path.\"", "id": 27073, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "Acquired immunodeficiency\nSyndrome displays a proficiency\nFor cutting lives short,\nAnd it's sad to report\nThat for cures, there's complete insufficiency.", "id": 27074, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Robert Boyle, lacking royal largesse,\nSummoned colleagues whose works would impress.\nFrom Glasgow to Cheshire\nThey came, and the pressure\nGrew more as their volume grew less.", "id": 27075, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Where the factor from Boltzmann gets used\nIs a topic on which I'm enthused,\nFor it simply relates\nTo one's energy states.\nI'm excited, so mine are diffused.", "id": 27076, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "BobHale", "limerick": "Sherlock Holmes, at a meal parliamentary,\nSwallowed a fish bone fragmentary.\nWhen he started to choke,\nDoctor Watson soon spoke:\n\"Alimentary, Holmes, alimentary!\"", "id": 27077, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "I am blonde and not bright, but I'm fond\nOf my boyfriend, who tried to abscond.\nI responded to this\nWith a Super Glue kiss,\nWhich I find has cemented our bond.", "id": 27078, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "You have offered to settle this case\nFor a sum that's a patent disgrace.\nYou're a bad plastic surgeon.\nYour surgery's vergin'\nOn crime, so a jury you'll face.", "id": 27079, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "You sold me a baseball team, you did,\nBut I feel as though I've been deluded.\nThere were no pitchers\u2014none\u2014\nAnd no catchers\u2014not one\u2014\nBecause batteries weren't included.", "id": 27080, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "My favorite nosh?  Yep, you guessed it!\nWith baba ghanoush I'm obsessed.  It\nIs heaven to eat,\nBut the main thing?  This treat\nMakes me smile every time I request it!", "id": 27081, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "To apostrophize, talk to a chair\nJust as if there were somebody there,\nOr address a small star:\n\"Tell me, please, what you are,\nAnd I trust you won't mind if I stare.\"", "id": 27082, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "nplclio", "limerick": "An inscription that's boustrophedonic\nMay be found on a column Ionic.\nEvery other line backwards\nIs how it will stack words,\nSo it may look a trifle moronic.", "id": 27083, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Blandiloquence isn't so grand;\nGrandiloquence, likewise, ain't bland.\nSo when writing your speech,\nPlease endeavor to reach\nA fair balance we'll all understand.", "id": 27084, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Through each bodily structure there wind\nCanaliculi, channels defined\nAs \"canals which are small.\"\nThat they're present in all\nOf our organs just boggles the mind!", "id": 27085, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A bricole is a shot by a bloke\nPlaying billiards\u2014a roundabout poke\nHitting ball-cushion-ball\nFor a carom; to all\nWho are new it's a masterful stroke.", "id": 27086, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A vertebra high on the spine;\nA plant stem or offshoot; a line\nOf rotation, direction,\nSymmetric reflection:\n(It's axis I chose to define.)", "id": 27087, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Bioethical questions arise\nWhen advances in science surprise.\nNow that doctors can clone\nBoth a sheep and a roan,\nLet's go slow. (That's a word to the wise.)", "id": 27088, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "My filters should block them, but nay!\nSpam emails beset me each day,\nPushing stock tips, nude boys,\nDrugs for sex, naughty toys\u2014\nAll ad nauseam. Please, go away!", "id": 27089, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The cedilla, when placed under 'C',\nWas in Spanish a miniature 'Z'.\nBut in French it is used\nSo that 'C' is infused\nWith some 'S', so fran\u00e7ais is 'K' free.", "id": 27090, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jonathan Caws-Elwitt", "limerick": "It's \"streamline\"; it's \"deco\"; it's glitzy.\nIt's twentieth-century ritzy.\nArt Moderne is a style\nThat expressed itself while\nThe Jazz Age inspired F. Scott Fitzy.", "id": 27091, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Brian Cairns", "limerick": "The ticket clerk peered through her grille.\nIn a voice sounding nervous and shrill,\n\"Wh-wh-where to?\" she stuttered.\n\"Andover,\" Hank muttered.\nShe passed him a fifty-pound bill!", "id": 27092, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "Does the cat's boxed behavior allow\nAn alternative consequence? (Wow!)\nIf he's holding his breath,\nHe might not die his death,\nSnubbing Erwin \u2014 that's one cat's meow!", "id": 27093, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "I tried to impress a nice girl \u2014\nThough amusement rides make my hair curl,\nFound a centrifuge: \"Gee!\nLet's climb in and you'll see\nIt's a ride that is out of this whirl!\"", "id": 27094, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "On bridle paths, horses wear halters;\nAs they canter, their pace never falters,\nBut how many males\nMove as slowly as snails\nOn the bridal paths leading to altars?", "id": 27095, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Every cent that I earned, I have spent\u2014\nNot a scent left of what it once meant.\nMy ascent to the top\nWas as fast as my drop;\nFor a loan I will need your assent.", "id": 27096, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I think of cosmetics in use,\nI consider the toxic ceruse,\nBetter known as white lead.\nIf it's used on your head,\nIt's like putting your neck in a noose.", "id": 27097, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jayrusalem", "limerick": "Our marriage had clear bipartition;\nShe liked shopping, and I preferred fishin'.\nThough we took trips in tandem,\nI selfishly planned 'em;\nThe bait-cutting led to our scission.", "id": 27099, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "If I give you a dollop of clay,\nYou can model or mould it \u2014 just play!\nMake a teapot or mug,\nA tile or a jug,\nThen we'll bake it.  Ceramics, hooray!", "id": 27100, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "DenmarK", "limerick": "All that snow and that wind's guaranteeing\nA feeling of warmth and wellbeing.\nWith the Frauleins it's nice\nTo quaff Gluehwein: the spice\nBrings a glow to your cheeks apr\u00e8s-skiing.", "id": 27101, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"Have you opened your bowels yet, my dear?\"\nAsked the nurse in a voice loud and clear.\nOn the pan I was seated,\nBy a movement defeated,\nThen she yelled it again, in my ear.", "id": 27102, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "Adie's pupil: when one pupil's bigger.\nNo one knows, positively, the trigger.\nWon't constrict in the light,\nDoesn't matter how bright.\nOpthalmologists just say, \"Go figger...\"", "id": 27103, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "My alektorophobia scoop:\nFear of chickens, their eggs and/or poop.\nJust the sound of one cluckin'\nMakes me fear that I'm stuck in\nTheir feather-filled, dark, cramped-up coop.", "id": 27104, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "California's a liberal state\nRight-wing media like to berate\nFor its tree-hugging laws,\nWhich they see as great flaws\nIn this large conservation debate.", "id": 27105, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "True, there's blood dripping off of my knife\nAnd right there is my stabbed-to-death wife.\nI'm celebrious (famous);\nNo jail for me, shamus:\nI'll just get along with my life.", "id": 27107, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "When Vera got married to Pete,\nHer dress was an elegant treat.\nA bolt of fine silk,\nThe colour of milk,\nFormed a train of at least sixty feet!", "id": 27108, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mark Mironer", "limerick": "On my clock, hear the hourly chime:\nWest (by six zones) of Greenwich, the Prime\n(And two east of Pacific).\nI think it's terrific...\nThe time of my life? Central Time.", "id": 27109, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "If it's better, then that's pretty good,\nBut I start in to wondering: Should\nI then go for the gold?\nWhy just settle? That old\nPesky want: to be best, if I could.", "id": 27110, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Prolix3", "limerick": "A tough cut of meat is the brisket.\nFor cooks it's not clever to risk it,\nFor when served to a party,\nThey'll fail to eat hearty,\nAnd many will fill up on biscuit.", "id": 27111, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "J. E. Pettit", "limerick": "My wife has become problematic:\nHer corpse has turned quite aromatic.\nHer cenotaph's placement\nRemains in the basement,\nBut she has to go to the attic.", "id": 27112, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "\"Anacamptic!\" I shout into space,\nAnd it bounces right back in my face.\nIt's a word that reflects\nSuch echoic effects\nAs occurred in that just-mentioned case.", "id": 27113, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My dissolute son who's a rover\nReturned Thursday evening from Dover.\nHis clothing was mud-shot;\nHis eyes were all bloodshot.\nI figured he must be hung-over.", "id": 27114, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he went to be measured for specs,\nMs. Optometrist said, \"Biconvex\nIs the shape that you need\nSo you'll come up to speed!\"\nHe replied, \"Must we talk about sex?\"", "id": 27115, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The scientist labored, unknownly,\nTo copy himself, working clone-ly.\nHe was hidden away,\nBut he dreamt every day\nOf a prize from Nobel, his alonely.", "id": 27116, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When my husband divorced me, I said,\n\"I want alimony!\" Then he saw red,\nYelled, \"I won't pay a cent\nToward your food or your rent!\"\nI got acrimony from him instead.", "id": 27117, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When he visited one of his aunts,\nHe would bulbitate (poop in his pants),\nBut his lovely Aunt Jane\nSaid, \"No need to complain,\nAs I use it to fertilize plants.\"", "id": 27118, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Radiation is used to treat cancer,\nBoth alone, and with drugs (an enhancer).\nWhat's the word for the issue\nOf damage to tissue,\nOff-target? Abscopal's the answer.", "id": 27119, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A cabin boy, working a cruise\nShip with gambling, and flirting, and booze,\nWhen pursued by a nude,\nSaid, \"I'm not such a prude,\nBut this ship just has too many screws!\"", "id": 27120, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Showoff Joe plans to marry. Who? Me?\nHe proposed so that people could see.\nHis proposal took shape\nOn a videotape\nThat was broadcast on cable TV.", "id": 27121, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Herewith I unravel the history\nOf the Triangle shrouded in mystery:\nIn the sea off Bermuda,\nA huge barracuda\nEats boats and our brother-and-sistery.", "id": 27122, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"I've ataxiophobia. Warder!\nPlease help me escape this disorder!\"\nEven names for this fear\nAren't perfectly clear:\nAtaxophobia (synonym, shorter).", "id": 27123, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "See this stone in my ring, in the light,\nAllochroic if rays hit it right?\nIt's designed to change color\n(Makes others seem duller);\nI wear it to sparkle at night.", "id": 27124, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "First she served me a plate of spaghetti,\nThen a freshly baked apple brown Betty.\nTo the meal, my reaction\nWas utmost attraction\u2014\nErotic as D. G. Rossetti.", "id": 27125, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To believe in your fanciful schemes\nAnd make life more serene than it seems,\nTry my magic elixir,\nDrunk straight with no mixer;\nYou'll find me a bottler of dreams.", "id": 27126, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One of man's diabolical tricks:\nAdd some brucine to alcohol; mix.\nIt's denatured\u2014don't drink it,\nAnd don't even think it\nMakes sense, or you'll be in a fix!", "id": 27127, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An ancipitous (double-edged) stem\nIs as flat as a sheet at the hem,\nWhether cotton or satin.\n\"Two headed\" in Latin;\nYou won't find too many of them.", "id": 27128, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're wearing a car coat, you are\nVery likely to look like a star.\nIt's the three-quarter coat\nFashionistas promote\u2014\nNot the paint that you spray on your car!", "id": 27129, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A broadtail's a species of fur\nThat would make a fine jacket for her.\nJust don't mention its source\u2014\nBaby lamb skins, of course\u2014\nOr her wrath you might quickly incur.", "id": 27131, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Joe's poems were sterile and heatless,\nHis prose over-wordy and meatless;\nBut his spelling was worst,\nAnd his readers all cursed\nWhen the Beatles transformed into beatless.", "id": 27132, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beer and skittles, an odd sort of phrase,\nMeaning \"pleasure,\" is used nowadays\nTo inform us of what\nAn activity's not.\nIn a positive sense, 'twould amaze.", "id": 27133, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Your cesspool's where waste water flows\nWhen you've soaked in your tub or washed clothes,\nOr when flushing your toilet\u2014\nDid that one just spoil it?\u2014\nIt's icky where all that stuff goes!", "id": 27134, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My dog is bilingual, and how!\nHe can bark, and of course say, \"Bow wow,\"\nBut he's also at ease\nWith a smart Siamese.\nHe just winks his right eye and cries, \"Meow!\"", "id": 27135, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is hard to rejoice and make merry\nOn a diet of buffaloberry.\nThough the berries are edible,\nTheir taste is incredible.\nAre they bitter, you ask? I'd say very!", "id": 27136, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Docs in ASAM all treat the affliction\nThat's known to the world as addiction.\nThey'll help any youth\nTo tell falsehood from truth\u2014\nThere are no harmless drugs; that's a fiction!", "id": 27137, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm a merchant from Sparta. My boast:\nI've a business that brings in the most!\nIt's my cartage from Grecians\nBy way of Phoenicians\nTo Carthage, on Africa's coast.", "id": 27138, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"How thick is this cardboard?\" you ask,\n\"Or the side of this wine-aging cask?\"\nMy old ruler's no use,\nBut I need no excuse\n'Cause my caliper's fit for the task.", "id": 27139, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "To use ajowan, all that you need\nIs a properly dry-roasted seed.\nIt adds flavor that's keen\nTo a Hindu cuisine,\nYet the name of the plant's bishop's weed.", "id": 27140, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "It is cylinder-like in its shape,\nAnd it's smooth so its sides will not scrape.\nNot intending to pain us,\nIt fits in the anus\u2014\nFrom a bougie there's just no escape.", "id": 27141, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The freemartin out on the flat\nAnd the heifer or bossy who blat;\nThe dogie for sale,\nAnd the young of the whale:\nAll are calflike\u2014it's simple as that.", "id": 27143, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Judah", "limerick": "The broken-off end of a brick\nIs not the first weapon I'd pick.\nBut a rampaging mob\nNeeds missiles to lob,\nAnd brickbats, though crude, do the trick.", "id": 27144, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "In conclave confined, day and night,\nThe cardinals ballot (or fight);\nThe stern camerlengo\nWill not let his men go\nTill the smoke from the chimney is white.", "id": 27145, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "At a bake sale I tend to go wild\u2014\nWant to try one of each, like a child.\nSo it's good I take pride\nIn my waistline or I'd\nGet so fat that I'd really be riled.", "id": 27146, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Colin Salter", "limerick": "Said the cavalryman, \"Phew! It's hot\nWhen I wear my protective callot.\nBut if not for that cap,\nThen my helmet and strap\nWould be chafing my skull as I trot!\"", "id": 27147, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "At the toll of their grim Sunday bell,\nCalvinistical clergymen tell\nHow a few will be saved\nBut we're mostly depraved\nAnd predestined to fester in Hell.", "id": 27148, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The Candida albicans plan:\nTo discomfit each woman and man.\nNo if, buts, or maybes\u2014\nIt starts when we're babies.\nCancel candida? Can we? We can!", "id": 27149, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A new pope! From the Vatican, live,\nIn the year of 2005!\nOnce called Ratzinger, Joe,\nNow he's ready to go,\nAnd as Benedict XVI he'll thrive.", "id": 27150, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Belowdecks is where I would go\nIf at sea in a tropical blow.\nThough I never get seasick,\nWith fear I would be sick\u2014\nBut I can't be blown overboard.  No?", "id": 27151, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh t.", "limerick": "The carollers drank too much sherry.\nSilent night? No, cacophonous (very).\nThey totally botched\nTheir \"While Shepherds Watched\";\nGod rest you, gents, now that you're merry.", "id": 27152, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bee flies look rather like bees.\nThey eat pollen and nectar with ease,\nAnd as larvae they doom\nOthers' young; they consume\nLarval bees\u2014used as wombs, if you please!", "id": 27153, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Harris Risman", "limerick": "Anapestic? My favorite meter.\nLike the name Antoinette\u2014nothing sweeter.\nBut I won't be a lemming.\nI ignore T-A-M-ing,\nThough I'm barred from the gate by Saint Peter.", "id": 27154, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Bob Dvorak", "limerick": "A gringo on too much peyote\nWent southwardly, towing his boat; he\nIn Mexico stopped.\nIn some water he dropped\nIt \u2014 a small limestone pool, a cenote.", "id": 27155, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dave Jermy", "limerick": "Now, catch is a game you can play\nWith your kids, in the garden, all day.\nAll you need is a ball\nThey can hold\u2014i.e., small\u2014\nFirst you throw, then they catch.  You're away!", "id": 27156, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "If you're feeling all lovely and glorious,\nStay away from those people censorious.\nAs your flaws they point out,\nYou'll be filled with self-doubt,\nAnd regaining your groove is laborious.", "id": 27157, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "It's the line that curves under the cees\nWriting French and perhaps Portuguese.\nA cedilla says, yes,\nPronounce \"c\" like an \"s\",\nLike the \"c\" in fa\u00e7ade if you please.", "id": 27158, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Colonel Angus has gained much renown\nAs the most cunning linguist in town.\nHe won't boast, bray or brag,\nBut his tongue sure can wag;\nKnows his subjects in, out, up and down!", "id": 27159, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I've spotted a pale spotted perch:\nIt's a fish I've no wish to besmirch.\nI'd have shown you my brasse\nIn biology class,\nBut I ate it for further research.", "id": 27160, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "There are parasites foully infestin'\nThe spot where my food is digestin'.\nNow you're makin' me howl\nBy using a trowel\nTo clean out my bowel (intestine).", "id": 27161, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'm thinking of buying a sliver\nOf alluvial land by the river.\nAs bottomland's pricing\nIs low and enticing,\nThe prospect is making me quiver.", "id": 27162, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "To the borderland, slowly we wend\nOn a march to the march we'll defend.\nWe're all shaking with fear\nAs we near the frontier,\nFor we've marginal skills to that end.", "id": 27163, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Dialectical views you could coax\nFrom those two argumentative blokes\u2014\nNot the term to betoken\nTwo dialects spoken\nBy bidialectalist folks.", "id": 27164, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I'd surmised secret agents were daunting,\n'Til I'd spied what that agent was flaunting:\nWhen he'd not fit the bill\nFor a license to kill,\nThey just gave him permission for taunting.", "id": 27165, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Out here, on a spacefaring mission,\nFinding air is my dearest ambition.\nCertain death is my fate\nIf I breathlessly wait\nFor a less anaerobic condition.", "id": 27166, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A  hydride of boron's unstable,\nAnd reduces whatever it's able,\nHence a borane's attractions\nFor organic reactions,\nWhich a chemist might bring to the table.", "id": 27167, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Incidentally's what you should say,\nBut you're seeking a much shorter way.\nThen it really won't trouble you\nTo say BTW.\nIt means what you'd like to convey.", "id": 27168, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Gaily painted, your hot-air balloon\nHas you over-the-moon, leaving soon. . . .\nLater, ruined and strewn\nLike some fiery festoon,\nYou're the looney who flew the typhoon!", "id": 27169, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Eating lipids, you've reason to smile\nThat the cholate salts found in your bile\nCan emulsify fat:\nIf it wasn't for that\nThen you'd still be digesting a while.", "id": 27170, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My belongings are things that I've wrought,\nThat I've caught, or perhaps that I've bought.\nThough you'll own them, it's true,\nIf I trade them to you,\nWhat you've brought includes naught that I'd sought.", "id": 27171, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When God was designing the nose,\nThe position He finally chose\nWas smack dab in the middle.\nThe reason's no riddle:\nIt's the scenter, so that's where it goes.", "id": 27172, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Recumbentman", "limerick": "Prince Arjuna's pluck was defective\u2014\nHe couldn't work up the invective\nTo fight his relations.\nThe transfigurations\nOf Krishna restored his perspective.", "id": 27173, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Michael Toalster", "limerick": "\"Brontosaurus,\" the catalogue said,\nAnd I stood there just scratching my head.\nI could see in this creature\nNo loveable feature.\n\"What a beast,\" I cried out. \"Glad he's dead!\"", "id": 27174, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "When the blade of my mower, mein Gott,\nBroke in half and attacked me, I shot\nStraight inside, whining, \"Jeez!\nI've a wrecked ankle! Please \u2014 \"\n\"Splendid shape,\" said my wife, \"but so what?\"", "id": 27175, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Under blue ocean waves and the breeze\nSwim cetacea; you may hear them wheeze\nAs they blow.  Neptune hails\nThese magnificent whales,\nAs they cruise the cerulean seas.", "id": 27176, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Just as well diagnostical tests can\nDetect little lumps that our chests can\nBrew up. But we'd wish\nOur boobs less of a squish\nWhen we go for our annual breast scan.", "id": 27177, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "The carbon dioxide produced\nBy our household\u2014how much have we loosed?\nJust how big is our sootprint,\nOur own carbon footprint,\nAnd how should we get it reduced?", "id": 27178, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "Here's something I don't often say:\nWe've been painting a ceiling today!\nNow I'm spattered and spotted\nAnd Dottie's all dotted\nIn white, but we've finished\u2014hooray!", "id": 27179, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "A rifle that's called autoloading\nHas a special mechanical coding,\nSo its bullets will load\nOn their own and explode \u2014\nAnd the spent shells come out without goading.", "id": 27180, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "Antipascha's the week after Easter.\nWhen it comes to Low Sunday, the priest...errr...\nThe prester, I mean,\nIn the church still is seen.\nHe just can't stay at home on his keister.", "id": 27181, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Julia", "limerick": "For male Jewish babies, a bris\nIs a time to remove some of this\nUnsanctified foreskin.\nSome wish they had more skin,\nBut it shouldn't affect how they piss.", "id": 27182, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "BobfromThirsk", "limerick": "The buck rarebit doesn't go hopping;\nIt's a snack that's become rather whopping.\nMelt some cheese on your toast\nAnd then let it be host\nTo an egg that is poached, as a topping.", "id": 27183, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "My definitive lyrics' depictions\nAre fanciful, factual fictions.\nI wish I could stop,\nBut I write till I drop:\nI'm too broken to break my addictions.", "id": 27184, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The canoeist cried, 'Oh, what a bore!\nJust to paddle upstream's such a chore.'\nSo he dug deep to aft,\nTurning round his frail craft\nTo drift down, his poor oar-arm quite sore.", "id": 27185, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "King of gods, mighty Zeus the august,\nTook the fair nymph Callisto in lust.\nBut now Jupiter's got 'er\n(That rank Roman rotter!),\nThough she's wrinkled these days \u2014 an old crust.", "id": 27186, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Useful benzoate\u2014of thee I sing\u2014\nGets its start with a six-membered ring,\nThen you'd add to that hoop\nA carboxylate group,\nAromatically doing its thing.", "id": 27187, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "I've been buying my sweetie some treats\nFrom a store selling imported sweets.\nThey are packaged with flair\nAt this bonbonni\u00e8re;\nThere's a box for each piece that she eats!", "id": 27188, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Tom didn't, it seemed, have a prayer,\nWith his scuba beyond all repair.\n\"What the\u2014glub\u2014Not again!\"\nHe said breathlessly when\nHe had suddenly run out of air.", "id": 27189, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When your plane tumbled down from the skies,\nIt was shocking, a stunning surprise.\nYour arrival too late\nAt the terminal gate\nWas a blessing, it seems, in disguise.", "id": 27190, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "How much stuff is enough in a book\n(Its extent when we venture to look)?\nIt's amazing how much\nInformation and such\nMakes a bookful, by hook or by crook.", "id": 27191, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Celeste is cerulean blue\u2014\nNot the healthiest kind of a hue.\nShe's expecting to die,\nSo we'll bid her good-bye.\nSay adieu with no further ado.", "id": 27192, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the alley where Callie had been,\nShe could hear every drop of a pin,\nAnd the fall of each ball\nThat was toppling them all,\nRolled by bowlers whose goal was to win.", "id": 27193, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Every happy event turns adverse,\nLike your life has come under a curse.\nWhen it ends catastrophically,\nYou shrug philosophically,\n\"So, nu? It could always be worse.\"", "id": 27194, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "If the chef makes his blowfish with care,\nThen your dinner's divine if you dare\nTake a chance that you'll suffer\nAnd die from the puffer.\nIf he blows it, you haven't a prayer.", "id": 27196, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Asked the beer drinker spending his time\nDown in Mexico's balmier clime,\n\"What's this dreck in the neck\nOf my Beck's? Would you check?\nI don't drink my cerveza with lime.\"", "id": 27197, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "An orator, straight from Decatur,\nUsed to state no debater was greater.\nBeing glib and distinguished\u2014\nThe cunningest linguist\u2014\nShe'd beaten a master debater.", "id": 27198, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Her boyfriend had promised to gift her\nWith something designed to uplift her.\nShe expected a tome\nOr a song or a poem\u2014\nBut that shape-shifting bra simply miffed her.", "id": 27199, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Activities said to be sapphic\nAre attractors of Internet traffic.\nIt should hardly surprise\nYou've attracted more eyes\nSince your poetry site's gotten graphic.", "id": 27200, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "David", "limerick": "So you know mc squared equals E\nAnd m's mass and E's energy? Whee!\nAnd that c's speed of light?\nThen I am impressed \u2014 quite.\nOkay, Einstein, why's speed spelled with C?", "id": 27201, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "From Camellia sinensis comes tea,\nA most civilized beverage at three.\nSipped with sugar and milk,\nIt goes down just like silk,\nSay the British, and I must agree.", "id": 27202, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A generous fellow who's wealthy,\nAs a donor is modestly stealthy.\nBut one heavenly trio\nOf harps cheered with brio:\n\"Thanks, angel. Our bottom line's healthy.\"", "id": 27203, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev and SheilaB", "limerick": "Cloudy dimness\u2014oh, what caligation!\nMy vision is poor! Such frustration!\nI'm longing to read,\nSo I guess what I need\nAre some glasses, or else medication.", "id": 27204, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mrsrev and Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "The snow had charged in like a beast\n(It had blown for a week from the east).\nI was housebound, I found,\nDrifted in all around.\nThen came stillness\u2014the wild winds had ceased.", "id": 27205, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "It's a problem I've battled all winter.\nIt might be my toner or tinter.\nWith my email, oh please,\nHelp me send out cc's,\nSince the carbons won't fit in my printer.", "id": 27206, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Though the Elder's great talent was vaster,\nThe Younger could copy much faster.\nFor each work of his father,\nThe Younger made rather\nMore copies that mimicked the master.", "id": 27207, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "To explain what cf. means, I shall\nPut it plainly: \"compare\", it is, pal\u2014\nThough you cannot see that in\nIts letters; they're Latin.\n(Cf. i.e., n.b., and et al.)", "id": 27208, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "It's said cabinetmaking's an art.\nThe components must not fall apart.\nIt needs skills more, I'd wager,\nOf the thatcher or major,\nFor the close to beat that of the start.", "id": 27209, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's the battle arenas he's snubbed\nAnd society's elbows he's rubbed.\nHe's a Buckingham lug\nWho likes cutting the rug.\nThus the carpet knight aptly is dubbed.", "id": 27210, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB and Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alexin is something we need,\nOr immunity's force won't succeed.\nChange the \"n\" to a \"c,\"\nGet alexic, and we\nHave a word for \"unable to read.\"", "id": 27211, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Dottie", "limerick": "When the dentist's located the pain,\nThe root tip's excised, with procaine.\nNot my favourite way\nOf spending a day;\nApicectomy: never again!", "id": 27212, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "What good's sitting alone in your room?\nJust watch Cabaret and the gloom\nWill, like magic, be banished\u2014\nEach trace will have vanished\u2014\nWhile Liza sings, Nazi threats loom.", "id": 27213, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Frank Luke", "limerick": "Though word processing's now what I pick,\nI will still need to pick up a Bic\nBall point pen when I jot\nDown a thought, and it's not\nVery likely I'll quit scribbling quick.", "id": 27214, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "An avatar?  Whose incarnation?\nWhich Hindu god's manifestation?\nWhose internet icon?\nWhat image to liken?\nWhat concept in glorification?", "id": 27215, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "For fine coffee you go to a caf\u00e9,\nSo what do you think of this gaff, eh?\nWe serve sweet, sticky goo\nThat has fruit in it too.\nGood banoffee deserves a banaf\u00e9.", "id": 27216, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Found a seat on the bus \u2014 oh, how lucky! \u2014\nNext to neds in white trackies, all mucky,\nWaving bottles of Buckfast\n(Tonic Wine).  Had to duck fast\nOr get smashed by those smashed with their Buckie.", "id": 27217, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "With a sound like a quick-clicking ratchet,\nLet me follow the rhythm and match it.\nAs my chestnuts desire,\nYour flamenco's on fire \u2014\nAnd if I castanet, I will catch it.", "id": 27218, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Now, I mainly eat burgers and fries,\nBut the moment I saw those doe eyes\n(Or perhaps they were buck)\nIn my oncoming truck,\nI thought, \"Bambi and Thumper Surprise!\"", "id": 27219, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "An innocent, needing no shriver,\nThe lamb was, alas, no survivor.\nThe split of its skin,\nSo transparently thin,\nWas to bindery boys,  batwing skiver.", "id": 27223, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Normal matter is mostly what's left \u2014\nWas the baryogenesis... theft?\nThat's the term that explains\nThat the stuff that remains\nIs of matter that's anti-, bereft.", "id": 27224, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "Like Boethius, post-condemnation,\nSeek solace in deep meditation.\nThough waiting for death,\nWhile you yet can draw breath,\nIn philosophy, find consolation.", "id": 27225, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris J. Strolin", "limerick": "When I'm crossing the lake with my daughter,\nWe boat using skills that I taught her.\nThough we've endless potential,\nThe boating's essential:\nWe're good, but we can't walk on water.", "id": 27226, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A big shot of rye whiskey\u2014it goes\nDown his gullet, and watch how he glows,\nFeels superior, big,\nShot with power (the prig!),\nLike a big shot, right down to his toes.", "id": 27228, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Aceldama: drenched by War's flood\u2014\nA burial ground deep in mud.\nThe money was dirty\n(Coins numbering thirty)\nThat paid for this grim \"Field of Blood\".", "id": 27229, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "Amerigo caused quite a flap\nWhen his math skills uncovered a gap.\nHe said with a laugh,\n\"Chris missed China by half!\"\nAnd so got his own name on the map.", "id": 27230, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A limerick's not very roomy\u2014\nFive lines (I write six and they'll sue me).\nHere's one about flowers\nI worked on for hours;\nYou'll have to admit that it's bloomy.", "id": 27231, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Doctors ordered a test; you are tense.\nThe reagent is testing for Bence-\nJones, a protein one sees\nIn a dreaded disease,\nSo you feel you may die of suspense.", "id": 27233, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I hope that my doc understands\nThat I'm putting my life in his hands,\nWhere the medical might is;\nI've got acinitis,\nA case of extremely sore glands.", "id": 27234, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A brush cut or crew-cut is worn\nBy the guys who get up every morn\nAnd engage in the fights\nThat preserve human rights\nWhich aggressors, in general, scorn.", "id": 27235, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A birdcall's the song of a bird,\nOr an amateur act by a nerd,\nDoing bird imitations\nIn search of ovations\nThat seldom, if ever, are heard.", "id": 27236, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He'd a dog, and she had an old cat.\nHe approached in the park for a chat.\nThen his dog made a beeline\nFor her feeble old feline,\nAnd that (for poor Pussy) was that!", "id": 27237, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An American hybrid, it's true,\nIs the grape that resulted when you\nCrossed a Deutsch or Francais\nWith a U. S. of A.\nIt's a mix of the old world and new.", "id": 27238, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I fear that the surgeon will botch\nThe surgery done on my crotch.\nI am trembling with terror;\nHe might make an error!\nToo bad I can't sit up and watch.", "id": 27239, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Anti-idiotype, I would guess,\nIs a globulin apt to suppress\nAnother that fits\nLike an antigen.  It's\nA root cause of immune system stress.", "id": 27240, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A breviary may be quite small,\nBut it helps us to answer the call\nFor the prayer, hymn, or psalm\nThat restores us to calm,\nSince this wise little book has them all.", "id": 27241, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I wouldn't be one to attack\nHis brown-bagging, behind Jackie's back,\nBut I do have a hunch\nThat it isn't his lunch\nThat he carries around in a sack.", "id": 27242, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A break-in can mean a test run\nOf your show; it might really be fun.\nIn your dwelling, a break-in\nMight leave you quite shaken\u2014\nIf the guy who breaks in has a gun.", "id": 27243, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At work there are times when I savor\nThe brown-nosing fellows.  Their flavor\nOf a Brownie points quest\nMarks them out from the rest\u2014\nThey're the guys who are currying favor.", "id": 27244, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Halloween is approaching; it's clearish\nI plan to appear buccaneerish.\nI'll wear red pantaloons\nAnd round earrings, like moons\u2014\nDo you think, at my age, I'd look queerish?", "id": 27245, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The colonel was called George A. Custer.\nHe gathered his troops in a muster,\nAnd convinced all his crew\nThey could wallop the Sioux,\nBut their tribe was a cavalry-buster.", "id": 27246, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The least pliable hairs that one grows\n(They were braided for fun, I suppose\u2014\nNot because of a curse\u2014\nIn Miss waterrocks' verse)\nAre the bristlelike hairs in your nose.", "id": 27247, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "BHA in the food that we buy\nPreserves many a cookie and pie,\nOr we'll use BHT,\nBut beware BHC\u2014\nIt's insecticide; eat it\u2014you die.", "id": 27248, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There once was a fellow named Fogel\nWho greatly resembled a bogle\u2014\nAn ogre or demon\u2014\nA hobgoblin's he-man\u2014\nOr a guy in a story by Gogol.", "id": 27249, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Ben trovato: Italianate phrase\nThat is not much employed nowadays,\nMeaning something's invented;\nThe truth has been dented.\nI use it to damn with faint praise.", "id": 27250, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beatrice was Dante's great muse;\nThat he loved her is no longer news.\nTo express his devotion\nWith warmth and emotion,\nThe form of the sonnet he'd use.", "id": 27251, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some bedouins wear a burnoose.\nIt's a garment that's long and it's loose,\nBut don't say \"Berenice\"\n(That's a name from old Greece).\nTo confuse them is truly obtuse.", "id": 27252, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "An oenophile joker named Frank\nBought some soda and played a mean prank.\n\"Blanc de blancs\u2014it's first class;\nLet me pour you a glass!\"\nBut to me it was...blankety-blank.", "id": 27253, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bossy's a cow or a calf,\nBut I don't use that word with my staff,\nSo my waiters won't boast\nWhile they're serving a roast,\n\"It's baked bossy\u2014a pound and a half!\"", "id": 27254, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "\"When I'm in a museum, I turn\nWhen I pass some black-figure. I yearn\nTo possess such a jug!\"\n\"A Greek urn, you dumb lug!\"\n\"Oh, forgive me, but what's a Greek urn?\"", "id": 27255, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My Chemistry grade's a disgrace.\nThe compound they gave me to trace\nAs my final exam\nWas an ampholyte; damn!\nI just couldn't tell: acid or base?", "id": 27256, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My commonplace book (adversaria)\nHas notations inside that might scare ya.\nSo it's at your own risk\nThat you slide in the disc;\nNever say that I didn't prepare ya!", "id": 27257, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "One must bowl the red ball, and not kick it,\nTowards the batsman in front of the wicket.\nIf you bowl it just right,\nIt won't fly out of sight\n(Which would cost you six runs, playing cricket).", "id": 27258, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said my agent, \"Please give it your all.\nThis is big time, so focus.  Stand tall.\nYou have practiced so much,\nYou've got sureness of touch.\nNow you've made it to Carnegie Hall!\"", "id": 27259, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My wife bought a beautiful blouson,\nI took care to avoid spilling juice on,\nWhen I gave her a hug.\nRound the waist it was snug;\nIt's the bust that a blouson hangs loose on.", "id": 27260, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "At the rodeo, broncos were buckin'.\nIn the audience, couples were duckin'\nTo avoid a hard bonk\nFrom the hooves of a bronc.\nBut the cowboys? They just kept on truckin'.", "id": 27261, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "She was bountiful, though she gave alms\nOstentatiously, lacking in chalms;\nAnd the poor tugged their locks\nAs she handed out socks\nIn the workhouse and lunatic falms.", "id": 27262, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Jacqui Brown", "limerick": "Poor Mona! Her sinuses flowed.\nShe felt listless and dull, and it showed.\nShe sighed, without brio,\n\"You can't paint me, Leo.\nI've caught a da Vinci (sniff) code.\"", "id": 27263, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "sallycello", "limerick": "America's aggrandization\nHas made us a much hated nation.\nOur hubris-acquired\nMistakes have conspired\nTo lose us the world's admiration.", "id": 27264, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "See that mushroom's fine bay-colored cap,\nYellow pores underneath? Lightly tap!\nDo they show blue-green stains\nWhile the background remains?\nPick the harmless bolete\u2014it's a snap.", "id": 27265, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The styles of Bret Harte and the Queen,\nIn the English tongue\u2014know what I mean?\u2014\nMay appear on a par;\nBut for me it's bizarre\nTo be writing betwixt and between.", "id": 27266, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard English", "limerick": "The system that's called avionics\nRelates to a plane's electronics.\nThough they seldom are seen,\nAny failure could mean\nA glimpse of the crew's histrionics.", "id": 27267, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "'Twas brillig, where mome raths were mimsy,\nFor Carroll, the master of whimsy.\nA slithy tove curls,\n'He is dodgy with girls',\nBut such gimbling gyre is quite flimsy.", "id": 27268, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "Whilst some joints' range of movement is small,\nThat's not so for the socket and ball.\nYou can do backward flips\nBecause shoulders and hips\nHave the best range of movement of all.", "id": 27269, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "\"Bugger Bognor,\" the King gasped aloud\n(As his servants sat sewing his shroud).\nThat was very unkind:\nBognor Regis, you'll find,\nWith sea air and a beach is endowed.", "id": 27270, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "hugh.adler", "limerick": "A cell cannot think, laugh or lie;\nIt just is and, when told to, will die\u2014\nThrough, perhaps, apoptosis\n(Far worse is necrosis\u2014\nThe cell just gets murdered. . . poor guy).", "id": 27271, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The hare's in a bit of a bind.\nIn despair, he's awakened to find\nThat the breaks in his pace\nWere mistakes in the race:\nSlow-but-steady has come from behind.", "id": 27272, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chuck Folkers", "limerick": "I slip off into natural sleep\nBy imagining Little Bo Peep:\nKeeping count, she will fling\nOn a heap (or a bing)\nAll the poop left behind by her sheep.", "id": 27273, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Rose", "limerick": "The flesh of the so-called \"blood orange\"\nIs red, like my Da's kilt and... sporrange?\nOh my days, there's no rhyme!\nI'm committing a crime!\nNever mind. Rabbits live in a warrenge.", "id": 27274, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Andrew Burnet", "limerick": "Many years ago, northerly Britain\nBecame Alba (or so it is written).\nIt's called Scotland today,\nWhere we love the \"Wha Hae\"\nAnd we're famously dour and hard-bitten.", "id": 27275, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "While a traveller climbed a steep path, he\nWas engrossed in the comic strip Cathy.\nBetter far for this trip\nThan some old comic strip\nWas a map orographical, bathy-.", "id": 27276, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Holding toxins, it's metal-encased,\nAnd this canister soon will be placed\nIn a cannon and shot\nAt the range\u2014where a lot\nOf the training leaves hazardous waste.", "id": 27277, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The capelet she's wearing tonight\nOn her shoulders is silken and light.\nThere's a nip in the air,\nAnd she just doesn't care\nTo be bare with her cleavage in sight.", "id": 27278, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My carrier's Cellular One,\nAnd my phone-signal woes have begun.\nThe bars that I see\nHave been fading\u2014from three\nDown to two, then to one, and now none!", "id": 27279, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Californios settled a land\nTo the north that was luscious and grand.\nTheir allegiance to Spain\nAnd to God helps explain\nWhy Francisco and Bruno are San'd.", "id": 27280, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Alvin Ailey's a theater of dance\nWhere the African rhythms entrance.\nThere's exquisite control\nShown by body and soul\nIn each movement, expression, and stance.", "id": 27281, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "One successor Muhammad might own\nIs the caliph, who's principally known\n(Like the Shiite imam)\nFor advancing Islam\nFrom Algiers to Assam to Afyon.", "id": 27282, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This schnook's a destroyer of books,\nUnconcerned by the horrified looks.\nHe's a biblioclast,\nLeaving folks so aghast\nThat they're stashing their novels in nooks.", "id": 27283, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Anthrophobic, I'm fearful of folks\u2014\nHuman animals (women and blokes).\nPeople fill me with dread\n'Cause they mess with my head\nAnd they make me the butt of their jokes.", "id": 27284, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "For naught did my studies avail:\n'Twas a test I was destined to fail.\nThanks to Kelvin, my hero,\nI scored up a zero\nOn the absolute temperature scale.", "id": 27285, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "While tending the embers with care,\nThe blacksmith is lit by the glare.\n\"This forge has a fire\nThat ought to be higher,\"\nHe bellows, and feeds it more air.", "id": 27286, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The Premier guessed to dress for success\nIn his best ceremonial dress.\nHe'd appear more impressive,\nIn gear less excessive,\nWere his government less of a mess.", "id": 27287, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "When you purchase a 'zine, you should brace\nAs reply cards come tumbling apace.\nAnd they'd surely confuse\u2014\nThere's too many to use\nAs a bookmark for holding your place.", "id": 27288, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "\"Resistance is futile,\" you said,\nWhile attempting to get me to bed.\nBut your chance isn't great:\nYou're too Borg-like to date\n'Til that chip gets removed from your head.", "id": 27289, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Biophysics experiment seeks\nTo help hard-core biology geeks\u2014\nIn a useful alliance\n'Twixt branches of science\u2014\nUsing powerful physics techniques.", "id": 27290, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Your behavior is brutal and boarish.\nIt's too swinish and cruel to ignoreish.\nSo I'll show you the door,\nAnd explain what it's for.\nDon't expect to come 'round anymoreish.", "id": 27291, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Since that soldier's promotion occurred,\nChicken colonel's his flavor, I've heard.\nIs he fried? No, that's bull!\nAs a colonel in full,\nHe's delighted they gave him the bird.", "id": 27292, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "A borate's identification\nDepends on its state of hydration;\nIt has B2O3\nPlus hydroxide, you see,\nAnd a cation's neutralization.", "id": 27293, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Acid sulfite, just what could it be?\nIt's an anion, HSO3-.\nYou'd create quite a few\nIf you mixed SO2\nWith hydroxide. Seems basic to me.", "id": 27294, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In solution, some protons are tryin'\nTo bind to each acetate ion.\nSince it's plainly the case\nIt's a \"conjugate base\",\nWhy on Earth would you think that I'm lyin'?", "id": 27295, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "Said Sylvester (a sort of a sot),\nSelling liquor (a lackluster lot),\n\"Though the rotgut I've got\nAin't so all-fired hot,\nChateau Rottweiler sure hits the spot!\"", "id": 27297, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "FOR THE COMPANY'S OWNER, SURPRISE\nWHEN COMPETITORS NEWLY ARISE,\nSINCE IT'S SO DARN EXPENSIVE\nAND CAPITAL-INTENSIVE\nBUILDING FACTORY PLANTS OF THAT SIZE.", "id": 27298, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "In the village, the smith's on your right,\nBut its chestnut tree died from the blight,\nAnd the smith's old and weak,\nNow a useless antique,\nAs true horsepower faded from sight.", "id": 27299, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "The nobility, bent on frivolity,\nHave a holiday penchant for jollity:\nAn uncivil proclivity\nFor convivial activity\nWith women of dubious quality.", "id": 27300, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mrsrev", "limerick": "His music has rhythm and rhyme,\nAnd it makes us feel happy\u2014sublime.\nHoagy Carmichael's songs\nSeem to soothe all life's wrongs.\nAnd I'm sure they will last through all time.", "id": 27301, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Bob Dylan, true voice of this land,\nHad some beers with his backing group planned.\nBut the barman said, \"Bob,\nIt would cost me my job\nTo serve drinks to the Bard and the Band.\"", "id": 27302, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Sir Bors was a Round Table knight.\nHunting boar was his constant delight.\nDid he lecture the others\nAnd bore all his brothers,\nWho bore it as well as they might?", "id": 27304, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "There's no point making clients annoyed\n'Cause they think with their savings you've toyed.\nA financial advisor\nNeed not be a miser,\nBut don't let their wealth be destroyed.", "id": 27305, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When I'm limerick writing, betimes\nI have trouble in finding my rhymes,\nAnd it makes me feel dumb;\nYet at times they just come\nOn their own, with bells, whistles, and chimes.", "id": 27306, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you're out for a ride, one fine day,\nIn a cab called a cabriolet,\nYou'll have only one horse,\nAnd a carriage, of course\u2014\nJust two wheels, but a lot of cachet.", "id": 27307, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He declared that I must be his own,\nThat his life was for loving alone,\nBut he lived it quite bibulously,\nSwore to me fib-ulously;\nBooze was his love, I was shown.", "id": 27308, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "If you study the shoreline of French land,\nYou'll find terraces, ridges, and benchland.\nWatching mademoiselles\nGather mussels and shells\u2014\nAs a mensch on your bench, you're in wenchland.", "id": 27309, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A gourmet from L.A. who's called Ian\nDigs the food from the blue Caribbean.\nMuch better than Libyan,\nHe savors Caribbean\u2014\nAnd he likes it much more than Korean.", "id": 27310, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The luxurious Cadillac car\nIs a vehicle built for a czar.\nClimb inside and you're seated\nOn seats that are heated.\nFeel the plush, feel the rush\u2014you're a star!", "id": 27311, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bioassay can measure the power\nOf enzymes in fauna or flower,\nOr activity levels\nOf that which bedevils\u2014\nThe germ that can make our milk sour.", "id": 27312, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Said an angry young sailor named Judah,\nPreparing to catch barracuda,\n\"This sailboat's a phony!\nI want a Marconi\n(The same as a rig from Bermuda)!\"", "id": 27313, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bought a lottery ticket with Fred.\n\"If we win, we'll go halfies,\" he said.\nNow he hands me this pottery,\nSays, \"Here's your allottery.\"\nSo I whomps him upside of the head.", "id": 27314, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Cousin Morty was never the sort\nTo be playful, to caper (cavort).\nSteely eyes and set jaw,\nMorty studies the law,\nAnd for sport takes a tort into court.", "id": 27315, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Whack the rug till the job is completed.\nWhen you beat it, the dust is defeated.\nWhat's your personal best?\nBeat it now, in this test.\nYou've been given your orders; now beat it!", "id": 27316, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Always upstream, down south, on the Nile,\nSee Aswan, and then stay for a while:\nWatch the wealth of its sights\nAnd enjoy its delights,\nNow you've cruised here in classical style.", "id": 27317, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "turnip", "limerick": "If you can't feel how much objects weigh,\nIt might cause you some anguished dismay.\nIt's not a psychosis,\nIt's called baragnosis:\nBarognosis's loss (o, not a).", "id": 27318, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A barbe is a thin piece of lace\nOn the head or the neck, near the face;\nAnd in warfare, a shot\nSent en barbe means it's not\nThrough a wall, but aimed over, through space.", "id": 27319, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My bardolatrous worship seems odd,\nSince I once gave Jehovah the nod,\nBut each well-crafted line\nThat he penned is divine,\nSo it's clear to me Shakespeare is God.", "id": 27320, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm suggesting (and please don't prejudge)\nThat we purchase some activated sludge\nFor our sewage. Aeration\nMade this innovation\n(I think it looks something like fudge).", "id": 27321, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A small isle off the coast in the sea,\nMade of coral, is known as a cay;\nAnd this isle near a bay\nMay be also called cay.\nIt's confusing, I'm sure you'll agree.", "id": 27322, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Egbert and mike scholtes", "limerick": "It's been said Gothic builders were crude,\nSince the classical forms they eschewed.\nBut bar tracery's art\nLet the masonry part\nTo shed glorious light on the rood.", "id": 27323, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Robert Holland", "limerick": "I hear you acclaim, \"Go team, go!\"\nBut just how can we possibly know\nWho is ready to fight,\nOr instead to take flight?\nIt takes heart to put \"Go!\" in a show.", "id": 27324, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Jane Auerbach", "limerick": "To Bonaire and Aruba Bill jaunts,\nThen to Curacao, one of his haunts.\nOne is not still Antilles,\nBut\u2014say friends of Billy's\u2014\nIts ABC Islands link flaunts.", "id": 27325, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "I'm delighted to hear bagpipes play,\nIn their singular, happy-sad way.\nIt's the best music played\nIn most any parade;\nSo it's bagpipes for me, any day.", "id": 27326, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Some folks who seek assecuration\nOf future beatification\nWill lead lives free of sin,\nDo good works, and join in\nEvery charity-based celebration.", "id": 27327, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "He was born in the land of linguine\u2014\nHis talents prodigious, not teeny\u2014\nA sculptor and writer,\nAnd also a fighter,\nHis name's Benvenuto Cellini.", "id": 27328, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "My beloved declared me a \"chump\"\nAnd returned my bouquet with a thump.\nI was caught unawares\nAnd I tumbled downstairs,\nGoing bumpety bumpety bump.", "id": 27329, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In the treatment of sewage and waste,\nWe are finally left with a paste\nUsed to fertilize fields;\nAnd recycling thus yields\nBiosolids, organically based.", "id": 27330, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Bitter almond (the nut) is the source\nOf amygdalin, touted, of course\nTo cure cancer. One glitch!\nIt forms cyanide, which\nIn great volume would poison a horse.", "id": 27331, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "My friend has a problem.  He's seeking\nMy help, and I fear that he's freaking.\nTo ask why is absurd,\nAs he can't say the word\nBaryphonic; his trouble is speaking.", "id": 27332, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Biometry leads us to measure\nLiving things\u2014Mother Nature's great treasure\u2014\nAnd to analyze data\nSo sooner or lata\nWe'll understand all (at her pleasure).", "id": 27333, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "His grandfather clock was a treasure.\nThough antique, perfect time it would measure,\nAs he cleaned the clock manually,\nLike clockwork, biannually,\nEach May and November\u2014his pleasure.", "id": 27334, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Beaux Arts, a Parisian Ecole,\nPlayed a key international role\nIn promoting a style\nThat for years would beguile\nThe late nineteenth-century soul.", "id": 27335, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In deciding what's yours and what's mine,\nI accept that we draw a straight line,\nTo be sure we won't fight;\nTake the stuff on the right,\nAnd I'll take what is left, and that's fine!", "id": 27336, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "You're not dressed in a monotone, pure,\nIf your clothing is bicolor. Sure,\nYou have more than one tint\nTo your fabric or print,\nSo just hope that their dyes will endure.", "id": 27337, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When the Renaissance painter called Giotto\nAte and guzzled until he was blotto,\nIn cafes where he'd eat\nHe would order smoked meat\u2014\nIn Italian, that's affumicato.", "id": 27338, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "When your beta-endorphins are high\nAll your aches and your pains bid goodbye.\nLike some H in your brain,\nThey not only stop pain,\nBut they'll make you fly high in the sky.", "id": 27339, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Must be zillions, the cars that he's sold,\nAs his salesman's technique is so bold,\nBut I find myself balking\nAt his ceaseless loud talking.\nHis bigmouth approach leaves me cold.", "id": 27340, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "sl8ofhand", "limerick": "Though he started on fiddle, don't fret.\nCGP was his own sobriquet.\nNot the doc (with the diet\nSo dumb I won't try it):\nHe's that buddy of Lester's\u2014he's Chet.", "id": 27341, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "A bedplate? Now what could that mean?\nThere's no bed on my plate to be seen.\nThere's no plate on my bed\u2014\nJust a mattress instead.\n(It's the base on which rests a machine.)", "id": 27342, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Though the figure is heavily robed,\nAnd its gender's not easily probed,\nI declare it's a female.\nNo way can it be male!\nIts chest is distinctly bilobed.", "id": 27343, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Baryphobia: oddest of all\nThe disorders of growth that befall\nCertain children (not fed\nBy their parents). I've read\nUndernourishment keeps children small.", "id": 27344, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "If your coronary arteries harden,\nThen CABG (not grown in a garden)\nLets blood flow again,\nThrough the saphenous vein\nTo your heart. Rather gory? Beg pardon!", "id": 27345, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In his new biological clock,\nJack's computer components may shock,\nAs they're powered by cells.\nAs his mom proudly tells,\nHe's a biochip off the old block!", "id": 27346, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "kevinrtaylor", "limerick": "My sister from classes was barred\nFor ingesting cement in the yard.\nA man named Fabrizi\nOnce said she was easy,\nBut after this meal she was hard.", "id": 27347, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "If your neckline is plunging and low,\nYou may find, when you're out, you're on show.\nThere are men who may perve at yer\nCentre of curvature\u2014\nThere where the curves touch and go.", "id": 27348, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB and speedysnail", "limerick": "A belt that held tight what was zesty,\nThe cestus of Venus (the chesty\nAnd ravishing goddess)\nWas worn near her bodice.\nYes, cesti could make a man testy.", "id": 27349, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Graham Lester", "limerick": "The family inn of the Benders\nIs a home to some wicked offenders:\nThere's a hidden trap door\nAnd you're dropped through the floor,\nThen your soul is returned to its sender's.", "id": 27350, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "A Cepheid's light curve will vary\nIf its envelope's dense or it's aery.\nThat period shows\nIts true brightness.  One knows\nNow its distance, which answers your query.", "id": 27352, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "Where the deer and the antelope play,\nYou're unlikely to find Candombl\u00e9,\nBut just look in Brazil\nAnd you probably will\u2014\nIt's a faith done the African way.", "id": 27354, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "The cephalochordate is prone\nTo hide in the sand when it's grown.\nIt is shaped like a sword,\nAnd its nerves form a cord,\nBut it hasn't a spine made of bone.", "id": 27355, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Was it 'Johnson', with suave donnish tricks,\nWho seduced 'Stanley', 'Homer' and 'Hicks'?\nOf a fifth, no one's sure,\nThough it's thought there were more\nIn the spy ring that stung MI6.", "id": 27356, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "mike scholtes", "limerick": "I'm a birler whose skill is supreme,\nTreading logs for America's team.\nThough the logs bob and spin,\nI just never fall in \u2014\nHelp! I'm trapped in a lumberjack's dream!", "id": 27357, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "C. H. Carpenter", "limerick": "If there's one in the household whose pay\nYour expenses will largely defray\u2014\nTo the working stiff who\nIs your breadwinner true\u2014\nA big \"Thanks\" is a good thing to say.", "id": 27358, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "As a tender, she serves at a bar,\nFilling once again many a jar;\nBut my chum in his car laid\nThis bonnie young barmaid,\nAnd now has an ugly red scar.", "id": 27359, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Infarctions attack like a thug;\nThey act as if pulling a plug\nFrom your energy base.\nTry avoiding that case:\nTake an anti-cholesterol drug!", "id": 27360, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Certain physicists' greatest concern:\nEvermore let's invest just to learn\nReal matter's design,\nNature's structures most fine\n\u2026From our giant colliders' return.", "id": 27361, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The case of The Crown versus Zebra,\nThe infamous 'Zoo' cause c\u00e9l\u00e8bre,\nLed to changes, we saw,\nIn 'faunography' law,\nAnd the fame of some call-girl named Deborah.", "id": 27362, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Like the franc, is the poor centime dead\nNow the French use the Euro instead?\nBah non, pas de tout.\nLe centime? C'est \u00e0 nous!\nMais la perte de sa valeur est raide.", "id": 27363, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Candlewasters sat up through the night\nWorking hard in their small pool of light.\nNowadays midnight swotters,\nWith neon-drenched jotters,\nWaste nothing but bulbs and their sight.", "id": 27364, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "When Germans and Austro-Hungarians\nUnited with Turks and Bulgarians,\nTheir enemies pressed\nFrom the east and the west \u2014\nThey were Central, these arch-militarians.", "id": 27365, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "When old Lion awoke he soon saw\nGrasping Crow reach his claw out for more.\nSo to answer the shriek\nFrom its black crooked beak,\nHe gave voice to a great noble roar.", "id": 27366, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Arminius, Roman by birth,\nFelt his roots in Hercynian earth.\nIn the North, rebel Hermann,\nAs warlord and German,\nFought Rome, showed his folk their great worth.", "id": 27367, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "View halloo! Tally ho! Off we go!\nWe are riding to hounds through the snow.\nBut if Foxy's a runt,\nThen our Boxing Day Hunt\nWill be brief, but a bloody good show.", "id": 27368, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "This morning I rose bright and breezy,\nRefreshed, in a mood light and easy.\nNot like yesterday, say,\nWhen I greeted the day\nThick of head and hung over and queasy.", "id": 27369, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "The batsman was going great guns,\nBut he'd over-indulged on iced buns.\nNinety-nine and not out \u2014\nThe worst time for a bout;\nHe was 'bowelled' with the wrong sort of runs.", "id": 27370, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "He had baited a poor badger's sett \u2014\nLain in wait with a gun and a net.\nBut revenge was so sweet\nFor the rest of the cete,\nWho devoured him (the badger's no pet).", "id": 27371, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Now we must make him stand in this spot;\nIt is central, this point, to our plot.\nFor it's not on the fringes\nThat everything hinges,\nIt's here that we'll get our best shot.", "id": 27372, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Thomas Taylor", "limerick": "Max Beerbohm was sharp though discreet\nWhen lampooning the types he would meet\nAs a caricaturist.\nHis satire was surest\nWhen sketching the social elite.", "id": 27373, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "CFD, when applied by a master,\nMakes turbines, and air traffic, faster.\nBut can aerodynamics\nAnd better ceramics\nCause a fast DNA mix disaster?", "id": 27374, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "A professional organization\nServes American high education:\nClearly civilly based\nEngineers are well placed\nIn this dignified, aged formation.", "id": 27375, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "For replacements of parts anatomical,\nIt's better (and more economical)\nTo decide, as their owner,\nTo act as a donor\u2014\nAn option that's not at all comical.", "id": 27376, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Linguistically used, it is based\nOn a German word (anglicists' taste?):\nThe auslaut's the last\nSound, as \"t\" is in past\n(Not by synonyms eas'ly replaced).", "id": 27377, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "The most daring achievement, to build\nA cathedral (by masons, unskilled?),\nWhich twice tumbled down,\nIn Beauvais, that fine town,\nAt last has been partly fulfilled.", "id": 27378, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "As an early chauffeuse, Bertha Benz,\nJust to visit her mother and friends,\nTook her husband's new car\nAnd then drove rather far\u2014\nShe started those new-fashioned trends.", "id": 27379, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "How can thee ever earn a degree\nAs the one shortly written BD?\nOnly gods are divine,\nIf we strictly define;\nSo that quality's not due to ye!", "id": 27380, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Send the updated BG to me;\nTake the flight number BG-03.\nFly from Munich, Bavaria,\nTo Sofia, BG.\nSee you later, or (German) bg!", "id": 27381, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "David Bailey takes pictures of girls\nLooking glamorous: monochrome twirls\nRound their sinuous forms,\nAnd the viewer's eye warms\nTo the torsos each photo unfurls.", "id": 27382, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "From Latin and Greek, as memorial\u2014\nFor forests, winds, lakes (territorial),\nAnd lights that shine forth,\nIf they're found in the North\u2014\nComes the adjective known to be boreal.", "id": 27383, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Is it \"forming an annulus\"? No!\nRather \"making invalid\", or so.\nAnnulling, as action:\nRevision, retraction\u2014\nOr setting a 1 back to 0.", "id": 27384, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "PGS", "limerick": "Thermal processes end up with heat;\nIts rejection's a task you must meet.\nThere's no river nearby?\nI suggest that you try\nSome air-cooled exchanger of heat.", "id": 27385, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Near Palermo, on Sicily's coast,\nIs a picturesque town that can boast\nA cathedral, a beach,\nAnd some ruins\u2014for each,\nCefal\u00f9 draws the visitor's toast.", "id": 27386, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In the palace park, lions are lame,\nAnd Juan Carlos is taking the blame.\nAbdication in Spain\nMeans the end of his reign,\nWhich is called on account of the game.", "id": 27387, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The calcium oxide in lime\nIs a caustic that's white at the time\nWhen it's solid and pure\u2014\nNot a lime juice, I'm sure,\nLike what's making my rickeys sublime.", "id": 27389, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This canister's metal, with holes,\nHolding stuff that absorbs and controls\nMany toxins contained\nIn the weapons they've rained\nOn the troops playing gas-attack roles.", "id": 27390, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Capacitation's occurred, so my sperm\nAre preparing to wriggle and squirm,\nThen to enter her egg\nAnd, as such, get a leg\nUp on making the kid we'll name Herm.", "id": 27391, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "They were places of evil (begorra!)\u2014\nGomorra and Sodom, whose aura\nOf baseness was greater\nThan that in the later\nDishonest and secret camorra.", "id": 27392, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's carefulness, mindfulness, heed,\nAnd discretion this gambler will need\nTo exhibit to get\nHimself clear of his debt,\nBut, alas, he's bedeviled by greed.", "id": 27393, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Catechismal instruction's by rote.\nThe robotic responses, I'd note,\nHave been purposely styled\nTo brainwash the child\nAnd sever the freethinker's throat.", "id": 27394, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A catechist opens a mission,\nBut generates fear and suspicion.\nHis lessons on Christ,\nWhich might once have sufficed,\nAre rebuffed by Islamic tradition.", "id": 27395, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The moisture continues to seep\nThrough our shoes on the links as we creep\nPast the puddles today.\nGolf's not easy to play\nWhen the casual water's this deep.", "id": 27396, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Calcination's the heating of crap\n(Inorganic, like metal that's scrap)\nTo a temp that's so high\nWorthless matter lets fly\nOr you atomize all of it\u2014zap!", "id": 27397, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "My daughter got married today,\nAnd I'm stunned by the money I'll pay.\nSo I'm downing a drink\nAt this cash bar\u2014you think\nI'm so dumb I'd give liquor away?", "id": 27398, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I depend on the float for my dough,\nAs from pay check to pay check I go.\nThough I'm making big bucks,\nMy liquidity sucks,\nSince my cash seems to ebb more than flow.", "id": 27399, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I've a case-hardened lock on my bike\nFor when thieves in the neighborhood strike.\nWith this coating, I'm feeling\nIt won't need concealing.\n(It's this kind of steeling I like.)", "id": 27400, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Castoreum's something that comes\nFrom the glands of a beaver, whose bum's\nPerineum's abloom:\nIt's a source of perfume!\n(Um, I'd rather smell roses and mums.)", "id": 27401, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In soccer, a crown on the pitch\nLets the water run off in a ditch.\nWhen the camber's too much,\nEvery dribble or touch\nOf the ball is a son-of-a-bitch.", "id": 27402, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The camber's the curve of a wing;\nThis convexity's needed to wring\nFrom the airflow some lift,\nFor, without it, that swift\nUnavoidable drop's gonna sting.", "id": 27403, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When you're set in your viewpoints, there's naught\nYou believe that you need to be taught.\nYou're inflexible, small\u2014\nAn example to all\nOf the calcification of thought.", "id": 27404, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cardiographic device\nThat's attached to my wife may suffice\nTo determine if she\nHas a heartbeat cuz, gee,\nIn our bed she's been colder than ice.", "id": 27406, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "I'll describe a calcifugous plant:\nIt's a shrub or a flower that can't\nMeet its nourishment needs\nStuck in lime, which then leads\nTo a chance of succeeding that's scant.", "id": 27407, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Many woodworking skills are displayed\nIn construction\u2014a valuable trade.\nBut your carpentry skills\nMay do more than pay bills\nIf they rise to the artisan's grade.", "id": 27408, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The insurer Prudential's my carrier,\nProviding my loved ones a barrier\nTo losses and debt,\nSo I hope when they get\nDown to paying, the Rock's not a tarrier.", "id": 27409, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a car lot, I eye a sedan\nWhen a farmer walks up\u2014with a tan,\nBaggie jeans, and straw hat.\nHe's a carlot, all that.\nShould I buy a used car from this man?", "id": 27410, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Blackmore Vale, in north Dorset, has fame\nAs the setting for books (one whose name\nHas a lassie named Tess\nWho was hardy); and yes,\nCaundle Marsh brings it further acclaim.", "id": 27411, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "In Oahu, the breaking waves roar,\nWhile resoundingly pounding the shore.\nOn the northernmost coast,\nBanzai pipeliners boast\nOf a tide with a thirty-foot bore.", "id": 27412, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The banana's a tropical fruit\nWith a soft, pulpy flesh we salute.\nIts elongated shape,\nIts allure to the ape,\nAnd its yellowness bring it repute.", "id": 27413, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A thing that's designed to be used\nWith a second keeps people amused.\nWhen my software gets old,\nI buy add-ins\u2014behold!\nI'm enthused where before I just snoozed.", "id": 27414, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On Oahu, the northernmost coast\nHas a surf that the hotdoggers toast.\nIf you're riding the crest\nOf a wave, what's the best\nOf the pipelines? \"It's Banzai!\" they boast.", "id": 27415, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "An axis of symmetry's straight.\nIt's a line to which figures relate\nBy defining two sections\nWith matching reflections.\nThe left has the right as its mate.", "id": 27416, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Analytic reflection implies\nSomeone cutting a thing down to size.\nOne considers the parts\nOf a whole, then one starts\nUnderstanding its wherefores and whys.", "id": 27417, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Analytic expressions of truth\nAre self-evident\u2014who needs a sleuth?\nIt's hard to dismiss\nAn assertion like this:\n\"An eleven-year-old is a youth.\"", "id": 27418, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's Sri Lanka for now and here on\nSince the Arabic Serendib's gone\n(Greek Taprobane, too).\nNow you've learned but a few\nOf the names for the isle of Ceylon.", "id": 27419, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Ceviche's uncooked\u2014it's a dish\nMade with onions and peppers and fish.\nSoaked in lime juice and oil,\nIt won't easily spoil.\nYou can season it, too, if you wish.", "id": 27420, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cetologist's study entails\nThe inspection of bodies of whales.\nIf some cachalots die\nAnd we want to know why,\nIt's his knowledge that often avails.", "id": 27421, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Cetology deals with cetaceans\n(Their habitats, lives, and migrations):\nThe porpoise, the whale,\nThe dolphins that hail\nFrom the seas\u2014they're our mammal relations.", "id": 27422, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Banaras, in Uttar Pradesh,\nIs where Hindus like dipping their flesh\nIn the Ganges\u2014a river\nSo cold many shiver.\nWho cares if the water ain't fresh?", "id": 27423, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Just below the equator I row,\nWhere the stars turn the heavens aglow.\nSouth of Aries and Pisces\nAt night on the high seas\nIs Cetus's whale of a show.", "id": 27424, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "This southern Bohemian town\nHas a name that has brought it renown.\nI'm speaking of Budweis,\nThe source of my good vice:\nThose six-packs of brewskis I down.", "id": 27425, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "To assure, to affirm, to attest\nThat officially something is best\n(Or is legal or true)\nIs to certify\u2014you\nGuarantee it's been rightly assessed.", "id": 27426, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "The Buddhas of Bamiyan stood\nFifteen centuries\u2014symbols of good.\nThen the Taliban struck,\nBlew them up, ran amok,\nBut rebuilding will come, as it should.", "id": 27427, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Eating onions and garlic, he flirts,\nBut his date moves away and reverts\nTo a curious pose\nWhere she covers her nose\nAs she slips him a package of Certs.", "id": 27428, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A Peruvian city sits high\nIn the Andean mountains, where I\nJoin a climbing team bent\nOn ascent. Our intent?\nGiving Cerro de Pasco a try!", "id": 27429, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Puerto Ricans who like to get high\nClimb a peak that extends to the sky.\nThen they paraglide round\nMany miles above ground,\nAs from Cerro de Punta they fly!", "id": 27430, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It's a formal observance or rite\nThat's prescribed by convention. It might\nBe a christening, wedding,\nOr public beheading\u2014\nAll three can give people delight.", "id": 27431, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "When philosophy undergrads cram\nFor the final Cartesian exam,\nAll the thought they're devoting\nCan lead to misquoting:\n\"I cerebrate, therefore I am.\"", "id": 27432, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "On Sunday I breakfast on rye.\nOn Monday it's cornflakes I try.\nOn Tuesday, it's wheat.\nThis succession is neat:\nWhat a cereal eater am I!", "id": 27433, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cerastes, the venomous viper,\nIs moving in tune with a piper.\nEach is horned, so to speak,\nThough the piper's unique,\nLooking chic in a Gandhian diaper.", "id": 27434, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "King Cepheus rules in the sky\nOver Cygnus, below and nearby.\nConstellations like these\n(Named by Ptolemy) please,\nAs they catch the astronomer's eye.", "id": 27435, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Hey, you don't understand what is meant, Rick\u2014\nI'm focusing here on a Zen trick.\nMy mantra is more\nThan just close to the core\nOf my being\u2014it's totally centric!", "id": 27436, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "First you double the Celsius degrees.\nThen you add 32, if you please.\nThe result is around\nThe right temperature found\nOn the Fahrenheit scale\u2014it's a breeze!", "id": 27437, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "At a hundred degrees water turns,\nBut its steam can cause third-degree burns.\nAt zero it freezes,\nBut frostbite displeases.\nThese are centigrade-measured concerns.", "id": 27438, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "Center stage, a theatrical phrase,\nIs employed in more general ways:\nIt's a prominent place\nOr position\u2014the space\nThat commands our attention or praise.", "id": 27439, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A cel is a celluloid sheet\nThat's transparent, with drawings of neat\nCartoon characters seen\nOn a Hollywood screen\nWith gargantuan noses and feet.", "id": 27440, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "It goes on every night without cease\u2014\nConstant honking, disturbing the peace.\nWe have fine-feathered friends,\nBut the noise never ends\nFrom our neighbors\u2014that gaggle of geese.", "id": 27441, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "BCE and CE both arose\nFrom an era that's common to those\nFor whom years on the earth\nDate from Jesus's birth,\nAs my Christian-based calendar shows.", "id": 27442, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Doyle", "limerick": "A soldier writes home in a letter\nThat's officially read by a vetter.\nThis censor deletes\nAny talk of defeats,\nSince the less about that, well, the better.", "id": 27443, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "Venezuela: a girl on maracas\nIs joined by two castanet clackers,\nThen a bloke sings a ditty\n'Bout his capital city.\nWhat a racket!  It's mad!  It's Caracas!", "id": 27444, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Chris Young", "limerick": "There is a young fellow called Steve\nWho is gullible, green and na\u00efve.\nBuy him lager and lime\nAnd, in quite a short time,\nIt's incredible what he'll believe.", "id": 27445, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "ABC (it's that easy) transporters\nAren't arks, barques or craft meant for waters,\nNor floating corvettes.\nThese are binding cassettes\nAs confirmed in genetical quarters.", "id": 27446, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "How I long for the total cessation\nOf hunts for the noble cetacean!\nThis barbarous game\nBrings immeasurable shame\nTo an otherwise civilised nation.", "id": 27447, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "The antilibertarian view\nIs that rulers know better than you:\nYour rights and free will\nTake particular skill\nTo subvert, undermine and undo.", "id": 27448, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "Cairns, near the Barrier Reef,\nIsn't big, so I'll try to be brief:\nA tropical city;\nThe Daintree is pretty;\nThe salties could bring you to grief.", "id": 27449, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "speedysnail", "limerick": "A camelopard's covered in spots:\nHis neck, for example, has lots.\nThis fellow's been slotted\nWith pards (i.e., dotted),\nBut leopards will tie him in knots.", "id": 27450, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "While sipping Pollino real slow,\nI dream of where I'd like to go.\nI'm Calabria bound,\nThat peninsular ground;\nOn Italy's boot, it's the toe.", "id": 27451, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "A cranky old convict named Deuce\nSpent ten years in a rundown caboose.\n(That's a slang word for jail,\nNot what's at a train's tail.)\nTen more years and they may let him loose.", "id": 27452, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Yassor Noe was so filled with caprice\nHe moved eighty-nine times with Denise.\nHe loved this house, then not,\nChanged his mind on the spot;\nFancy that! \u2014 Now they're living in Greece.", "id": 27453, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Accusatival does rightly pertain\nTo the accusative case; so it's plain,\nIt deals more with the grammar\nThan, \"You stole that hammer!\"\n(Direct object of verb, noun again).", "id": 27454, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "A blow is defined as a smack\u2014\nA sharp forceful stroke, like a whack.\nUse a belt, fist, or rock,\nBut don't try and feign shock\nWhen the person you strike hits you back.", "id": 27455, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "The centaury has flowers of pink\nYou should dry and then brew as a drink.\nChiron, centaur of lore,\nRecommended it for\nIndigestion and fevers, I think.", "id": 27456, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "TrossL", "limerick": "Jack certifies\u2014I mean\u2014attests\nTo the naturalness of Jill's breasts.\nHe knew her in college,\nSo has first-hand knowledge\n(And all that implies or suggests).", "id": 27457, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "She could never distinguish\u2014how nutty!\u2014\nHer vaginal jelly from putty.\nWhat did this bring about?\nAll her windows fell out.\n(Bet you thought this was gonna be smutty.)", "id": 27458, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Richard Stehr", "limerick": "\"It's a cakewalk\" might well be your take\nWhen opponents get left in your wake.\nYou could also remark,\n\"It's a walk in the park,\"\nBut do not say \"a walk in the cake.\"", "id": 27459, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Bluebelle", "limerick": "Catalonia's a province of Spain,\nNot a cat, lost in Spanish terrain.\nThe Catalan tongue\nLeaves Spanish unsung,\nLike a cat that's avoiding the reign.", "id": 27460, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "He hallucinates since he went blind,\nThough he's perfectly sound in his mind.\nFirst described by Bonnet,\nIt's a syndrome. Just pray\nHe'll recover, and leave fear behind.", "id": 27461, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "I'm no expert at climbing a wall,\nSo I should have known better. The fall\nMeant I barked my poor shin\n(Lots of blood, damaged skin);\nThat's the last time I rescue your ball.", "id": 27462, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "bestswanbird", "limerick": "It's a festival, all about beer.\nWhat a joy! I've been waiting all year\nFor the date to come round,\nSo I'll now go to ground\nIn the pub, making pints disappear.", "id": 27463, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "This caps it! I've lost a big filling,\nSo I'm in for a cap and a grilling:\n\"Do you floss every day?\nSkimpy hygiene? You'll pay!\"\nAll the jawing's as bad as the drilling.", "id": 27464, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Your inventions are brilliant, it's true.\nYes, you're smart; it's your rudeness I rue.\nI regret that I met you,\nMy failure to vet you,\nAnd, mostly, my saying, \"I do.\"", "id": 27465, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I admit that I'm bad with a rake,\nAnd disposing of leaves makes me quake.\nSo that pile\u2014I ignored it,\nBut then was rewarded\nWith saplings\u2014benign neglect's wake.", "id": 27468, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Please help me! I really need aid,\"\nSaid a lady who looked quite afraid.\n\"Seems I can't find my purse,\nAnd, perhaps, even worse\nIt appears that my maid's been mislaid.\"", "id": 27469, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Colin Salter", "limerick": "The ceibo tree (Lat. Erythrina\nCrista-galli), of spiny demeanour,\nOffers coral-red blooms\nTo cheer two nations' glooms \u2014\nThose of Uruguay and Argentina.", "id": 27470, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Colin Salter", "limerick": "In his landscape design, Calvert Vaux\nOften sought to think outside the baux.\nHaving planned Central Park,\nHe might justly remark:\n\"This design is not mine, it's New Yaux.\"", "id": 27471, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "mephistopheles", "limerick": "My sea blubbers swimming in brine\nCould be yours, if that fits your design.\nI'm preparing to share,\n'Cause I'm totally fair\nAnd unsellyfish.  Want one of mine?", "id": 27472, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"My husband and I are estranged,\"\nSaid the wife, \"'cause he acts so deranged.\nHis behavior's aberrant\nAnd vexingly errant.\nI wish he could just be exchanged.\"", "id": 27473, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Your approach to this job's cavalier\u2014\nWearing nighties to work, drinking beer.\nYou may think that you're cool,\nBut you're really a fool\nAnd unstable. Forget this career!", "id": 27474, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "It's important to cover all bases.\nDon't assume that you'll come up all aces.\nSo cross every T,\nDot your I's, and we'll see\nHow you do as you go through your paces.", "id": 27475, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Your career is at stake, you should know,\nAnd you don't want that guy as a foe.\nThough his title ain't fancy,\nTo mock him is chancy:\nThat fellow's the president's beau.", "id": 27476, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Old astronomers thought it was clear \u2014\nCrystal globe, the celestial sphere.\nStars in perfect rotation\nReflect God's creation,\nWith wandering planets quite near.", "id": 27477, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Our old friend is from \u00c1rainn, a Celt.\nInis M\u00f3r is the home where she's dwelt\nKnitting jumpers, her trade,\nSold to Brits who invade\nFrom the mainland when winter snows melt.", "id": 27478, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The census's staff were dismayed\nWhen they found out some homes they'd surveyed\nWere confused by the forms.\nNow Wyoming's wage norms\nAre one-sixth what they were last decade.", "id": 27479, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "During Sesame Street's starting spiel\nAre shown donors both quirky and real.\nIt's a kid-centric crew,\nSuch as \"Viewers Like You\".\nPampers, C, and fifteen are ideal.", "id": 27480, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "I can see what the hubbub's about.\nThis young centerfold's wearing a pout\nAnd some lacy silk hose\n(The extent of her clothes)\nIn the magazine's center, spread out.", "id": 27481, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "He was sent up the river to Sing Sing.\nSaid his cellmate, the dastardly Ling-Ling,\n\"If the fuzz have you snitch\nI will make you my bitch.\"\nThat's the peril of trafficking bling-bling.", "id": 27482, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "If celeriac's what you now lack\nFor your salad, stop chopping, go back\nTo the store for some shoots\nAnd more celery roots.\nThey're two names for the same crunchy snack.", "id": 27483, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The \"Celestial City\" of fame\nAnd heaven are one and the same.\nIf you'll take God's salvation\nAnd give adoration\nYou'll journey there, post mortal game.", "id": 27484, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "On your head you can balance a plate,\nOr a wombat, koala or skate.\nTheir centroid's right there\n(O'er the top of your hair).\nIt's the center of mass on your pate.", "id": 27485, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "The ads in my newspaper state:\n\"Are you broke?  Need some cash? Please donate\nJust your plasma.  You'll grin!\nWatch the centrifuge spin!\nNow you've 40 bucks cash for a date.\"", "id": 27486, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Odd trinkets for sale: Albuquirky.\nThe snack vendors' wares: Albujerky.\nIn pubs: Albuturkey.\nPools cleaned: Albumurky.\nNew Mexico's town: Albuquerque.", "id": 27487, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "My spouse sips a Pepsi each day.\nThese drinks keep her headaches at bay.\nIt's hard to go clean\nFrom this drug called caffeine.\nCaffeinated, it seems, she will stay.", "id": 27488, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Each morning my dearest will glower,\nScarfing boxes of Argo and flour.\nIt's starch that she wants,\nNot those cake or croissants.\nThat's what amylophages devour.", "id": 27489, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "creelbm", "limerick": "Calorescence occurs when you shine\nOnly infrared light on the tine\nOf a fork and it glows.\nThis experiment shows\nWe made long wavelengths short by design.", "id": 27490, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "jojo", "limerick": "For an eagle who's crowned all in white\nWe may use the term bald\u2014and quite right.\nOr a mountain that's bare\nCan be bald\u2014trees are rare.\nBut to men losing hair, it's a blight!", "id": 27491, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Lanny", "limerick": "Who is this Young Man in our verse?\nAnapestilent filler...or worse?\nPlease atone for your shame,\nGive the fellow a name,\nAnd don't make an Editor curse.", "id": 27492, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"The judge viewed your case with derision,\nSo he rendered an adverse decision.\nBut when paying my bill,\nDo not bear me ill will,\n'Cause I saved you from going to prison.\"", "id": 27493, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "To travel by plane was once pleasant,\nBut flying's horrific at present.\nAnd that pre-flight routine\u2014\nThose airlines must mean\nTo make everyone feel like a peasant.", "id": 27494, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Our roofers must enter your yard,\nBut their access is blocked by your guard\u2014\nThat gargantuan Doberman,\nFeared by most sober men\u2014\nAnd boozing pre-roofing is barred.", "id": 27495, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Please calm down, take it easy; don't freak.\nThis is naught but a very small leak.\nI know it ain't sewage\n'Cause sewage-type spewage\nWould stink till you gagged from the reek.", "id": 27496, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Your argument doesn't make sense.\nIt's absurd and illogical. Hence,\nI must find for the plaintiff.\nYou've lost this insane tiff.\nYou simply don't have a defense.", "id": 27497, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "This is bedlam! 'Most everything's strewn\nOn the floor.  Did we have a typhoon?\nThis looks like the work\nOf my ex, who's a jerk\nWith the grace of a teenaged baboon.", "id": 27498, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "'Tis the season to buy stuff, for sure.\nHave you shopped? Yes? Then go shop some more.\nThat's what Dubya once said\nWhile ignoring the dead\u2014\nNeedless victims of Dub's wanton war.", "id": 27499, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "I prefer to catch movies at home,\nNot in theaters where tall fellows roam.\nThere they prowl, on the hunt\nFor the seat right in front,\nTo bestow a great view of their dome.", "id": 27500, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Your balance sheet doesn't compute.\nThese numbers are wrong at their root.\nSo in light of the audit,\nYou won't get a plaudit.\nIn fact, I should give you the boot.", "id": 27501, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "\"Tell me, why are you being so mean?\"\nCried the girl to the college's dean.\n\"I aced every test.\nAt my school I'm the best.\"\n\"Reapply,\" he replied, \"at thirteen.\"", "id": 27502, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "A Bush twin (not Barb, but the other)\nIs shopping a kid's book. Oh, brother!\nCan Jenna Bush write?\nDo her verbal skills bite?\nLet us hope she takes after her mother.", "id": 27503, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "All those shelves that were heavy with wine\nGave birth to this whimsy of mine:\nPregnant shelves giving birth.\nWhat would those shelves be worth?\nBaby bottles of wine\u2014how divine!", "id": 27504, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Please mind your own business, I said,\nTo a woman whose presence I dread.\nShe is pushy and rude,\nRather nosy and crude.\nEven worse\u2014she's the gal my boss wed.", "id": 27505, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Mad Kane", "limerick": "Springtime's coming\u2014I simply can't wait\nFor my wintery blahs to abate.\nBut this sure doesn't mean\nThat I'm spring-cleaning keen;\nIt's the one rite of spring that I hate.", "id": 27506, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "If you're quizzed on the celiac trunk\nIn a test, then you're possibly sunk.\nIt's an artery seen\nNear the liver and spleen.\nSay 'a celery tree' and you'll flunk.", "id": 27507, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "What a pity that Dee loved to feast\nOn those pork steaks with rind thickly greased,\nAnd sweet biscuits deep-fried\nWith hot grits on the side,\n'Cos she popped. Then she stopped. Then Dee ceased.", "id": 27508, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "When you file a paternity suit,\nIt's the birth father who's in dispute.\nA DNA test\nPuts the matter to rest\n(And fidelity issues, to boot).", "id": 27509, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "The ceramist has potted all day,\nWith love, making art out of clay.\nEach mug, plate and bowl\nHolds a piece of her soul,\nAnd her heart's in each piece on display.", "id": 27510, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "stella", "limerick": "At the Centre for Singles, The Trap,\nI spied a hot, hunky, young chap.\nI pushed off Pat Norwood\n(That bitch is so forward!)\nAnd centred myself in his lap.", "id": 27511, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "SheilaB", "limerick": "In Bermuda, an ugly old hag\nOnce designed, from a faded old flag,\nA most wonderful purse,\nThat for her is a curse\u2014\nThey are both called Bermuda, the bag.", "id": 27512, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Carol June Hooker", "limerick": "To his wife, said a pastor, \"Our Lord\nSays we're not granted blessings to hoard.\nOur parishioners' grief\nNeeds relief.  Our belief\nBids us share our abode, bed and board.\"", "id": 27513, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "cauliflower", "limerick": "Today canter's a word for the stride\nAt which pilgrims were wont once to ride.\nBecket's murder was sad,\nBut  we've cause to be glad\nThat Sodbury's not where he died.", "id": 27514, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "A starling, while breaking his fasting, wrote:\n\"So tasty are worms, they're of lasting note,\nBut it causes vexation\nIn my murmuration,\nWhen choosing the best for our casting vote.\"", "id": 27515, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "Pieter Brueghel the Elder was new.\nOf the sacred in art he'd a view:\nTo reject the ornate,\nTo which folk can't relate.\nMake it simple: the Bible's still true.", "id": 27516, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "John Critten", "limerick": "So that hunger and danger will aller,\nThey appear, a grotesquely tense ballet.\nFor the good of the town,\nThey submit to the Crown:\nTaut and tortured, The Burghers of Calais.", "id": 27517, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "Walaseca", "limerick": "You misheard; I said \"castrametation\":\nTo arrange all your tents in formation.\nNow you know my intent.\nThere's no need to lament.\nYou may cancel that planned operation.", "id": 27518, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "Damian Hey", "limerick": "While dissecting a frog, Bro said, \"Whoa, Sis!\nIntestines, I swear, are the grossest!\"\n\"Tut tut, Bro, you've issues!\nBut are there nerve tissues,\nOr has he aganglionosis?\"", "id": 27519, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "hugh.adler", "limerick": "In the tropics, you might 'scape malaria,\nBut the waters contain the cercaria.\nTiny, fork-tailed and mean,\nHe'll make straight for your spleen,\nAfter which we can't do much but bury ya.", "id": 27520, "is_limerick": false}, {"author": "psheil", "limerick": "If the paper you're printing's not pages\nBut runs on for ages and ages\n(That's continuous feed),\nThen there's something you need:\nWith a burster each page comes in stages.", "id": 27521, "is_limerick": true}, {"author": "alkahuna", "limerick": "Who's been reading my blog? Lots of losers\nAnd perverts and unemployed boozers\n(Their brains soaked in highballs).\nSo what? They've got eyeballs,\nAnd bloggers, it seems, can't be choosers.", "id": 27522, "is_limerick": true}, {"