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divorce,temp20180101,2018/01/01,"I think my second marriage is over. Just need to get this out. I think my marriage is over and I just need to get this out. Thanks for anyone who is willing to read this.
This is my second marriage. First was 17 years long, one child. My first wife struggled with mental illness. She had an affair and left, giving me full full custody of our daughter. Daughter is now an adult and married with one son.
For my second marriage, I married a woman who had three young sons. Her ex had cheated on her as well. We have been married for 9 years. I have raised my step-sons as my own, provided for everything, and have tried to be a good husband. I make mistakes like everyone does, but I have always treated my wife with love and have always tried to make the marriage work.
She has not been happy in the marriage for a long time. Within the first couple years there were clear signs of problems. She put up walls often and withheld affection. We did marriage counseling and individual counseling for years.
4 years ago I found out she was seeing a guy behind my back. This just about ended the marriage, but we tried to repair things. A few days ago I found out she has been seeing another guy for the last 6 months, lying to me about where she was going when she would see him. I think this is the end for the marriage.
I am just really sad. I still love her, but I do not think she has loved me for a long time.  I am struggling with lots of emotions...
- What is so wrong with me that she can't love me? I have always treated her kindly, loved her boys as my own, supported her in everything she has wanted to do (jobs, etc). I struggle with what is so wrong with me that she would rather be on her own than with me.
- I love the boys like my own sons, but I am their step-father so when we divorce it is like I am losing them.
- When I am not sad, I am mad. I feel lied to, betrayed, and taken advantage of. I feel she has not put any effort into the marriage for years. She just gave up and I am mad a hell about that.
Anyway, that is what I am feeling right now. I just found out about the other guy a few days ago so I am still trying to process this. We have talked and it sounds like she wants a divorce. I am sad because I feel like I may finally be ready to give up as well.",2.138693548387096,3.8204596623655935,3.1291263440860213,93.33368951612906,77.10752688172043,5.768279569892473,21.732526881720432,6.385866456164764,0.2061623655913976,1753,47,386,13,40,559,184,465,0.13,0.705,0.165,0.9468,1,0,0,0,2,0,63.0,6,0,2,7,29,36,4,3,21,0,53,7,0,3,1,72,88,25,0,9,15,9,4,5,0,4,1,1,0,8,20,29,0,1,11,1,0,3,5,15,2,9,16,8,78,21,59,65,10,58,1,4,3,6,72,22,1,3,38,293,98,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045640880777456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17877696114772593,0.0,0.0,0.04870302866539662,0.07509823062192178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05007731297122474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05507019757000151,0.0,0.0436579663732336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07924449626806668,0.0,0.09237600157091676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267382266478153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08056116094147786,0.12686544815286846,0.0,0.07987354712571844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684345357235354,0.12873216049441374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484984045488802,0.05116426310668168,0.0,0.0784545544064748,0.0,0.1827559513821904,0.0,0.23557793091181645,0.0,0.0,0.07483540948977184,0.13740596187736392,0.0407024379503101,0.06007019095642727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21274069291881895,0.0,0.07623921366090994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07107029977261246,0.0,0.0,0.07457963571522966,0.0,0.05837862761838467,0.0,0.0,0.07781369823923708,0.0,0.0,0.17494588155096458,0.0,0.0,0.1901403281355128,0.0,0.08012277029036853,0.0,0.06088747854989385,0.387830896903149,0.0,0.0956117955449444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217459242337289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057165194924502026,0.0,0.0,0.10620840476724328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970610837787333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852922202637703,0.0,0.143992725926528,0.0,0.0,0.07163787033732638,0.0,0.04588063817831477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061161798594088525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712119906213281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143892362277265,0.0,0.0,0.22461358535126308,0.0,0.0,0.08127181300481126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057564228884984976,0.0,0.06593668275240881,0.0,0.0,0.04758014199534049,0.1835609446084108,0.0,0.0,0.08352263416938707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19449701244913456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08448488118765203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878724593346236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052139113223977365,0.0,0.0,0.1017514400087176,0.15660715050610502,0.0,0.27671975424894163
divorce,treecatks,2018/01/01,"Dad spending less and less time with kids Short version of the story (read my other posts if you want the long dramatic version) ... divorce pending, STBXH moved out in November.  Two kids - 9yo daughter, 8yo son.  They live with me, he has them one evening a week, every other weekend, and we divide holidays.  

It seems to me, though, that he's avoiding spending time with the kids.  He doesn't want them overnight yet - says he doesn't have money for beds for them, so brings them home for the night (though I suspect he's in no hurry because he wants his girlfriend to sleep over).  He's been picking them up for his parenting time later and later -- today he didn't get them until 12:15 -- usually with the excuse that he was tired and slept through the alarm.  Then he brings them back earlier and earlier.  Brought them home this afternoon at 2:45 (making it a 1 1/2 hour visit when the whole day could have been his).  Our fight over Christmas time ended up being worked out by the attorneys, then he returns them two hours early because ""there was nothing going on.""  Today he was even trying to talk the kids, and me, out of having his visit time.  Said he had stuff to do, no food in the apartment, he was tired and grouchy.  I refused to make the call - it was his time.  It seemed like a lose-lose to me - if I say never mind, they can stay with me, then I'm keeping him from seeing them and alienating affection.  If I say they should go anyway, then I'm not interested in them myself.  

Am I reading too much into this?  It just seems to me that if he was genuinely looking forward to his time with the kids, he'd go to bed at a reasonable hour and make sure he's up on time.  The thing is, he's pushing for more parenting time in the final decree.  I say he should use all the time he has first.  Plus, the last couple of weeks have been really difficult and I'm realizing how much I've been stuck on survive rather than moving on.  But it's hard to make plans like this.  How can I say, sign up for yoga classes at 9:00 on a Saturday if he's going to flake on them again?  I just don't know what to think.  ",5.610837311058076,5.364309505966587,5.806816825775659,84.5257701869531,67.3054892601432,8.797175815433572,29.15284407319013,8.212053250817874,1.7769927605409708,1629,49,341,19,24,518,211,419,0.08,0.879,0.041,-0.9383,2,1,0,0,2,0,66.0,2,1,15,4,18,8,1,2,21,0,31,5,2,10,3,63,61,28,0,12,10,5,1,2,1,2,2,6,4,5,17,22,1,3,8,5,3,13,8,4,0,4,16,9,42,4,57,40,9,83,0,0,2,0,71,27,0,8,45,219,59,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06129867729773871,0.0,0.09719142876822262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140159654703208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06364880976597445,0.08820710690539013,0.0,0.05141189754361431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07060701168422802,0.0,0.0,0.10530675769226128,0.0,0.06716635285455565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732782203999365,0.0,0.06780859449903615,0.0963960391145713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04164967458965965,0.0,0.18122365411715186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07141220101899813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992849731281847,0.0,0.23552026811266905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0708575483247793,0.0,0.0,0.04381125390278935,0.06498129321064139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789295561636174,0.0,0.07039297814949368,0.0705484462253802,0.06694354049658321,0.08918471436364618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21285111946500526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049305373443134,0.0,0.0,0.16945649664816068,0.11720467681798875,0.0,0.06148389343283605,0.0,0.0,0.074810499264214,0.0,0.07649214002558179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401938176414273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703612697982266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634837585925683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948033200800074,0.0,0.05106977200021603,0.08196399073806633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07583063733667805,0.3169771241999632,0.0,0.0,0.06352539743636376,0.2177184391948919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977616483506288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08496941326361879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125871650227617,0.0,0.0,0.07513383049109278,0.0,0.0,0.0640747853833016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05296149094518098,0.051080455511877496,0.1566462257786145,0.0,0.4648455267023842,0.1832495911967435,0.15112780986616506,0.0,0.0,0.054123691795089385,0.0,0.15574696363297014,0.0,0.0,0.06885126888356452,0.0877987676541702,0.0,0.14106027480317432,0.0,0.12789089353939642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900296219238572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058036085162836676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,dvrcTXdad,2018/01/01,"Wanting To Date More In 2018 [Long] If you look at my post history, you'll see my ex and I have been separated since 2016, with divorce finalizing in the summer of 2017.

I'm really wanting to move forward. I spent the majority of 2017 wrapped up in all of the emotions that come with divorce and a broken family as a result of a spouses infidelity. I've gained weight, lost weight, and then gained it again. I've lost friends, hair, time with my child, and, seemingly, the ability to casually converse with people. I went on a few dates, but not with anyone I was really interested in. I'm more of an introvert these days, completely opposite of how I used to be before meeting my ex, and I know that I can sometimes appear to be extremely unapproachable.

That being said, have any of you found it difficult to get back into dating after divorcing as a result of your spouses infidelity? Was it hard to shake any lingering trust issues?

There is a woman I'm interested in, she's (34) a few years older than me (29). We've actually known each other for about 5 or 6 years. I used to work with her before I met my wife, so I know a little bit about her background (never married, no kids, etc.) My friends seem to think she's into me based off of their observations of our interactions, but I think they're just being good friends and trying to build me up a little bit. Sometimes I feel like she shows interest, but other times we have awkward interactions where it seems like neither of us really know how to interact with the other. She goes for a hug, I turn it into an awkward high five/hug thing, or she'll do the same, then we kind of laugh about it. We've had conversations about family, core beliefs/values, career goals, and general interests. One way or another we always end up on the topic of relationships, usually her mentioning that she's single, faithful to the man she dates, and so on. Early on in my separation/divorce, she would ask if my ex and I would ever get back together, but I just chalked that up to making small talk about what was going on in my life at the current moment. She typically asks about my kid and will sometimes say something like, ""from what I've seen, you're a great father. I can see you really love [child]."" I try not to read into these things too much, but any input would be helpful. I'd like to ask her out, but I'm not really sure how to go about it. It's been a while since I've had to do any of this stuff, and my ex was pretty straightforward when we began our romantic relationship so I didn't have to do anything there either.

Thanks in advance. Apologies for post length.",5.7051969242310525,5.906884432170543,6.749287321830463,76.32039384846212,67.0813953488372,10.146436609152287,30.2110527631908,10.011982343527217,2.807508952238059,2061,70,402,45,31,693,253,516,0.04,0.7879999999999999,0.172,0.9975,1,0,1,0,3,0,75.0,7,5,1,7,24,28,0,3,23,0,30,6,1,8,4,77,72,34,0,7,17,8,5,4,3,6,1,2,0,6,24,29,2,0,11,3,1,9,7,6,0,1,18,11,58,22,79,43,15,71,1,2,4,2,65,31,0,9,34,272,82,5,0.0,0.0,0.07833074795837312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06679005310219621,0.0,0.0,0.21834208501475036,0.08416881200326189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05612579559062402,0.0,0.06605436456363986,0.0,0.22512141450464945,0.0,0.0,0.12344347044839422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366056352054736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526543126207747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914444435832139,0.08416028606221937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176672103620696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902915708385335,0.07109431185567325,0.0,0.08952090503841803,0.0,0.07260770474962043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513405194330004,0.0,0.04058630572579381,0.05734403070549355,0.0,0.08793052227665488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08801057146454284,0.1860463752118056,0.0,0.08387424657503255,0.0,0.09123719212937202,0.06732564226534082,0.0,0.0884966105998879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07190505827169517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053802469584772285,0.08480837052155236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377974925762426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358757970463465,0.13234086276088974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056696211398815866,0.15686108067328788,0.16090080489797376,0.0,0.07103534220243372,0.067405556916525,0.0,0.17524570540712356,0.0,0.07244570562263189,0.0,0.05358003229817507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531300738624299,0.0590067873280551,0.0,0.06190822964387601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05439220102624035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05564826355727452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375060106741875,0.08166220389386533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029049940061259,0.0,0.2571111714243897,0.0,0.0,0.17235725463043433,0.0,0.0,0.07635398879559863,0.06383295364423562,0.0,0.0,0.12792764651461,0.21922104113506372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13279832449402834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617948265198222,0.2381636203318353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09188854613444232,0.0,0.0,0.07565237287953695,0.0,0.0,0.06451700285091286,0.0,0.0739007058987377,0.0,0.0,0.10665401817137614,0.10286598305936977,0.0,0.0,0.0936107393636548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089944619231055,0.08730938019232408,0.0,0.0,0.09655345613401743,0.13865290329969773,0.08840471816120905,0.0,0.09468920935835796,0.0637136193988168,0.0,0.1954914929925824,0.0,0.07440996094826274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05843662603796024,0.0,0.0,0.17106190959953746,0.0,0.0,0.10338092202742756
divorce,ThroAweighe,2018/01/01,"Anyone reconcile? Has anyone here reconciled, even briefly, with their spouse after separating? Statistics tell me that 80% of separations lead to divorce, but my wife said she's not 100% for the divorce, just needs more space and time. ",7.491416666666666,9.762445975000002,6.4250000000000025,72.74666666666668,64.25,10.333333333333336,33.333333333333336,10.504223727775694,3.914583333333335,189,8,30,5,3,57,38,40,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,9,3,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,5,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,2,19,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6285226764739978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2968531862927584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3332566529013829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42752368044197664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39283342021789497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2620741133038965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,divdad123,2018/01/01,"I need a lot of advice. Trying to get a preliminary idea of how this will go down. Together 8 years, Married 4. Unofficially separated 6 months. Living together still :(. 2 year old son.

Debt:
1 car, $4k left on the loan, worth 7k. Agreed she could take it. I have a reliable car worth 2k, nothing owed.

She has 8k in student loans, paying about $100 a month.

Assets:
About 30k equity on a house we've owned together since February. Half the equity was seed money from my parents. I have 9k in savings, she has probably 4.5k. We split it equally a short while back.

Story:
Relationship became toxic after years of minimal intimacy, and my consistent insistence she be more proactive about finding a career to help me support a family. I'd always been clear about wanting an equal partnership, and being stable before starting a family. She now works 9 months out of the year at a job she seemingly took to spite me (Yes it's only my perspective), making barely enough to eat and afford a studio outside of town. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more than for her and our child to be comfortable. She is intelligent and capable yet has made no effort on her own to improve her situation, so I don't personally believe I should be entirely responsible for that as amenable as I am.

The Good News: Neither of us, I don't believe, would be cruel enough to take time with our son away from the other, we plan to share custody equally.

How is this going to shake out for me, financially?

",3.602579505300352,5.769742162544173,5.2947646643109545,77.26392791519436,74.37102473498233,8.626939929328621,27.221060070671378,9.281916038205594,2.6248771448763244,1164,45,211,29,25,395,184,283,0.047,0.7979999999999999,0.154,0.9767,5,0,0,0,0,0,47.0,5,0,0,3,11,9,2,1,17,1,22,1,0,4,1,27,38,11,0,6,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,7,10,1,0,3,0,8,6,5,4,0,1,4,0,30,5,39,25,11,35,1,0,0,0,23,13,0,2,16,141,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188701991236545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10121848098922194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142895904444942,0.0935375852127711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351103381299118,0.2741047780684863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712372647551264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447332202346988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513838444648814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22935237775135736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111814318965676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710910439688042,0.0,0.13826744504793884,0.10203015157503262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153615683621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14036213104842127,0.0,0.13732252884922558,0.0,0.0,0.12071400711115594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216777405821994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741486574102464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341832723610678,0.0,0.11510354966270707,0.08119905927124349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2912879121956162,0.0,0.0,0.09019831187822112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23344353846323584,0.0,0.127646085940211,0.0,0.0,0.09251659197365626,0.0,0.0,0.13507250517561328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062158228952028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115400901734767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060132977040145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11074114459636136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006260966931118,0.1367342066960012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08610103894520756,0.0,0.09714594647562362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13804143565439042,0.0,0.0,0.18292397606108848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093224516657509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515219936656142,0.08258904851605486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632409633199348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349888182688475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855909296324628,0.0,0.0,0.08641319997299339,0.1329998377686378,0.0,0.31334186468964875
divorce,throwaway_divorce_ca,2018/01/01,"Thinking about divorce, need help Hello,

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Wife and me were high school lovers but she married someone else and had a child. 
What all lies she told me- EVERYTHING
She had cancer and had to spend all her life savings on treatment.
She went to france for treatment.
She was forced to marry her previous husband.
Now I came to know that she never had any cancer, She didn't do 2 masters, she said that she got a scholorship, but infact it was a loan for a bachelors, is a compulsive lier, tried her her best to influence the kids, would fight infront of the kids (who are 9 and 3. ) etc. 
I make about 140K and she makes about 18 K. Have been married for a little over 5 years.
The elder one is legally adopted by my but is biologically from her first marriage.
I have a couple of videos about her emotional outbursts, also where she agrees that she lied about all those things.
What do you think I can do ? Just looking for support, guidance, help, anything. I want what's best for my children.
",2.86270408163265,5.389472311224496,3.2830204081632672,88.97983673469388,78.43877551020408,5.5526530612244915,26.126530612244892,6.742157984588678,1.1183048979591836,807,32,153,8,20,250,126,196,0.122,0.741,0.13699999999999998,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,2,0,29.0,0,1,0,4,9,6,1,0,10,0,20,4,0,4,5,26,34,9,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,4,10,6,0,0,4,1,4,2,2,1,0,2,14,2,28,5,22,19,6,11,0,0,1,1,35,5,0,0,4,111,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382062478696078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175253598927812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14221835368671698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36273351511132257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976631241865872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912250264231252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437118671570462,0.1944022721476956,0.0,0.0,0.1927429900993537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532189584988346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14700289726882318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382220979625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.231678820897716,0.1825966673679504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497883423585217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206978143957715,0.0,0.17321374394125674,0.0,0.0,0.1451275384652075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2307209836705357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814583954998476,0.1332915176426927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11710913176518488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17769051547561582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16439396027286074,0.0,0.0,0.1749057953172358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464321098263807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19611714782977294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11481572019205935,0.2214756111532132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16513949256133784,0.0,0.1173352664738696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193530401665014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160208370996578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276828499507328,0.0,0.0,0.11129215026503182
divorce,fortheburds,2018/01/01,"Anything I am missing? I [29M] plan to divorce my wife [30F]. She had a complete mental breakdown after years of issues for which she will not seek adequate help. I’m calling a lawyer in the morning. No kids. We do own a home which we have virtually no equity in (mortgaged in my name only).

Even though I am sure she already expects it, I would like to at least give her the dignity of telling it’s over to her face. I asked for the opportunity to speak with her in person a few days ago and have gotten complete radio silence since. 

Here is what I have done so far to prepare:

-Opened a separate checking account in my name only.
-Transferred just under half of our joint savings (plus annual HOA dues which will have to be paid soon) into my checking account. I left the rest in our joint savings. 
-Documented what the balances are on all of our accounts.
-Removed her as an authorized user on all credit cards except our primary one (she needs to be able to buy whatever she needs for now).  I did turn on the alerts in case she decides to go on a spending spree. 
-Changed my important passwords. 
-Made copies of her notes that I have taken on her behavior over time including relevant medical documentation.
-Took video footage of the inside of our home to document what major possessions we currently have. 
-Took pictures of cosmetic damage she caused to our vehicle during on of her “episodes.” 

Here is what I anticipate happening next:

-I fully expect my wife and her clan to clean the whole damn house out while I’m at work tomorrow. 

-Her mother hates my guts so she may push my wife to beat me to the filing process; primarily out of spite. 

Is there anything  else that I haven’t thought to take care of yet that I should do?

Edit: missed a couple important details. 
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divorce,JoeMale,2018/01/01,"New year resolutions! Last year lots of things happened, some good, some terrible. But along with all the grief I have experienced, a lot of good has come through:

* I've started going through therapy and working through issues
* I've reconnected with friends and family
* I have started to care for myself, even to like myself
* I have learned to let go and to forgive, more than just my ex-wife

I'm not OK, but I feel good, and I want to feel good going forward, so my 2018 resolution is to be grateful every day, to look for a positive in every day, no matter what, and to make the most of each day.

Something tells me that it's going to be far harder than I think, but, like they say, aim for the stars!

I want to thank this forum, because it has been really helpful.

Happy 2018 everyone!!",2.8182467532467537,4.9143047207792225,4.024675324675325,85.79987012987014,76.46753246753245,6.997402597402598,25.935064935064936,7.957251820313856,1.5672519480519478,613,23,122,10,14,200,96,154,0.049,0.6729999999999999,0.278,0.9903,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,0,0,1,1,3,14,0,0,5,1,10,0,0,1,1,30,28,9,1,2,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,6,10,0,0,5,0,0,6,2,2,0,0,1,5,13,12,25,24,8,17,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,5,12,80,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527467631882307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14262555703552354,0.0,0.0,0.1205014786205542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2706493552485953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239497546442473,0.0,0.2357240374702985,0.13366937050992062,0.0,0.0,0.13187434316756144,0.0,0.14146356651184608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807743853257692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31800722845649104,0.4693270452798532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12370285894556685,0.14891381362466705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376425247999272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460071558560152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402772478076235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14304537692136982,0.0,0.13668482214706246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11747103257625158,0.0,0.0,0.2378562473947371,0.0,0.0,0.09337659990451748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510509804633195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896160974725458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124487831569327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769293232223444,0.0,0.0,0.1980274731531825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12226863614272708,0.12879045329733552,0.15997458819349064,0.0,0.09293564370748733,0.08963484466065541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16501961716494956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184042851915888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18016709919460075
divorce,InvoluntaryVoid,2018/01/01,"So much grief DDay was three weeks ago, my post history has the whole story there. But today I’m in the hospital with my dad and he’s not expected to make it through the day. 

I had a pretty good handle coping with the divorce but I definitely wasn’t prepared to deal with all this at the same time. I’ll do my best to stay strong but if anyone has some encouraging words or anything I could really use it right now. ",3.7551550387596886,4.628815755813957,4.95581395348837,85.06108527131785,71.67441860465118,8.524031007751939,24.79844961240311,8.841846274778883,1.5292077519379852,329,9,71,6,6,109,67,86,0.023,0.721,0.256,0.9737,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,2,1,18,10,7,1,3,6,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,0,6,4,9,6,6,11,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,3,6,48,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291734102292012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807718941132651,0.0,0.21275017077195887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27131384692668725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064171173762991,0.0,0.0,0.16673203676263634,0.2665355948259209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21684474574701426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725724120837062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900510914559409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24760261376725434,0.2630204368599412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16562250197779538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22078529224562374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27556118355582804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507523455661978,0.0,0.2450585249171753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22328902147426172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20737912994874053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886422379499893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Gettingmyselfright,2018/01/01,"Solemn catharsis Starting the new year single, with no one to kiss, no one to cuddle with, no one to sleep next to, definitely presents as a solemn moment. However, it also presents as a cathartic situation insofar as I have a clean slate for a clean year. Choosing how to use that catharsis is the challenge, and it is, for lack of a better word, scary. I have decisions to make, over which I do not need to consult a significant other. Another new situation in adulthood for me. I may fuck it up, but that is okay. I have no true accountability to any other, anymore. Fuck it. Let's live this shit!",4.085584541062804,5.760977713043481,5.297681159420288,79.83946859903384,71.86956521739131,8.241545893719808,30.169082125603857,8.841846274778883,2.472314009661836,467,20,90,9,9,155,71,115,0.21,0.649,0.141,-0.8695,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,0,0,2,2,10,3,0,8,1,9,6,2,3,1,15,15,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,5,0,3,0,0,6,5,20,13,2,12,0,2,0,4,1,3,3,1,9,67,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795021421928609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258112599130864,0.19399621072232065,0.0,0.0,0.18347745827887726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362385962986248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34207240415510165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891824263131708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16336477272886646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349376198659776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13718051611254056,0.0,0.3573622693130955,0.19675728694166048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3760970592597322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899072619807349,0.0,0.4159117538723092,0.18514083904481568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309490689390768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15978684506529148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2382771795985834
divorce,yoopercharged,2018/01/01,Watching my father go through a divorce that he didn't deserve is the hardest thing I've had to do in my 21 year life. I love my dad more than anything and I can't stand to see him so sad all the time. When I'm at college he sits in his new place alone and cries at night and it breaks my heart. Is there anything I can do to comfort him?,1.202412280701754,2.210737223684216,2.5473684210526346,99.35991228070179,78.07894736842105,5.066666666666666,24.508771929824558,3.1291,-0.10397543859649128,263,9,67,0,6,85,56,76,0.111,0.804,0.085,-0.2479,0,1,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,8,3,1,0,1,4,12,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,2,10,2,9,10,2,14,0,1,2,1,9,5,0,0,5,41,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898850596859449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4606566944184416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074496603063899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906981927683236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316749221938828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19769692359893093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25261464172273124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703227047249224,0.0,0.2626609126924528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924289386442997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22303873164722712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859486794772492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16320804099092254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18024211617842112
divorce,newbeginnings1017,2018/01/01,"So much pain to start the year Hi everyone,

First off, I am 31, male, live in Australia, and have been married for six years. My STBX is 36 and we have a 3 year old son. For the past week my STBX has been really distant, and it got me thinking that something was wrong. Fast forward to today and I just couldn't take it any longer. I asked her if she was alright and from there came the conversation that she still loves me but is no longer IN love with me. When I asked her she confirmed that there is someone that she is talking to. She told me that she felt horrible as she saw that I was making an effort but she just couldn't lie to herself or me any longer. Against my better judgement I was able to sneak a peek into her phone and saw that her and the son of a mutual friend of ours have been talking ever since he came to visit with his mom a few months ago. While he was here they were apparently getting physical behind my back. I scrolled through and saw they are constantly telling each other they love each other and were having phone sex and chatting about how they can't wait to finally be together. I did she that she conveyed to him that she felt horrible for doing this to me, but her heart can't go on any longer.

For a bit of back story, my STBX and I have been growing apart for some time now. Our sex life had dwindled down to once every few months and after her father died earlier this year we have had sex only once. I wasn't romantic, I took her for granted, and I know that I am partly to blame for her seeking out the attention of someone. She tried to tell me that she feels like she is mostly to blame as she didn't give me enough while I was making an effort, but I honestly don't know what to think.

She said that she is past the point of counseling. She doesn't feel like she can be taught to love when she feels we are just so incompatible. To be fair, our personalities are very polar opposite at times. While she is an assertive, intelligent woman, I can be tolerant and passive and somewhat intelligent. I have also struggled with an addiction to pornography that I have recently attempted to give up as I knew it was affecting my marriage, but it's obviously a little too late.She was not aware of this struggle.

I feel so numb right now. I don't know if I should be super angry right now or what. The kicker is that the guy she is talking to stayed with us a few months back and he will be coming again in February. My STBX had asked me if I was cool with it. He is 22 and finishing up college and was apparently in love with the local area so he wanted to visit again to see more. He gives her everything I am not giving to her. Constant affirmations of love, spontenuity, and he stimulates her mind. From the messages I suspect that he might be coming to stay indefinitely with her. I feel betrayed as I let him into my home and trusted him to spend time with my STBX. I even okayed a day trip to another town as he was leaving soon and was looking to visit a town nearby. Little did I know he was flirting with her and potentially slept with her. I am so disgusted right now as I type this it seems to all be hitting me. 

My main concern is my son. I loathe the idea of him being raised by another man. My STBX is adamant that she wants me in her life, and that my relationship with my son will not be impacted. I believer her in that sense. However, all I can think about is my son and how he will not get to live with a family and has become a statistic. I honestly needed to vent more than anything right now. There is so much to figure out now. We own a house so we'll have to figure out what to do with it. There's also my living arrangements. My STBX should be fine seeing as she can stay with my mother-in-law indefinitely. She has assured me that she will make sure I am looked after. You see, I am originally from the US but we live in Australia. I have no family here and relocated to be with her. Funny how life works sometimes, isn't it? We were looking at relocating to another state this year so that is up in the air now. 

My life is upside down right now. I don't know which way is up and I am being consumed by these emotions. Hell of a way to start the new year. Grateful for any advice that can be shared, and thank you for reading this post. ",3.5171404109589046,4.637406498858447,4.619357876712332,86.32300941780822,72.48173515981735,7.895091324200914,25.44549086757991,8.327777581246021,1.414143607305936,3367,103,722,53,64,1104,337,876,0.079,0.7979999999999999,0.123,0.9911,3,0,1,0,0,0,76.0,12,2,4,7,44,30,2,2,31,3,106,18,2,9,6,130,170,64,1,10,18,7,7,2,1,8,7,1,1,5,42,60,0,1,22,2,1,12,17,7,0,2,41,18,138,23,111,103,19,109,1,0,9,9,123,38,1,12,56,537,180,5,0.05698990479789304,0.0,0.0,0.062127408255594166,0.0,0.05568987539212948,0.05051811202924093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114961255397916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15502035811869644,0.17927665266578496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689783579407802,0.0,0.15983360374313849,0.0,0.0,0.13146515703808562,0.0,0.0,0.06294087237985099,0.0,0.06420810702580748,0.0,0.050402939558246616,0.062218215783364776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13036253760983907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818351350470196,0.0,0.12317168210385555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03675377393744925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05914652363461913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06410597226615074,0.0,0.05888580601804457,0.0,0.03764129463441529,0.051550631623318716,0.048016452746664,0.054456296283102994,0.051218851702071584,0.0,0.10745002054362694,0.0,0.14407904110429315,0.0814271987494724,0.10943849163298597,0.06242965506155261,0.0,0.048475583907781464,0.0,0.0,0.04403025907728093,0.0,0.059549746170643264,0.21867963863412687,0.032388676229514066,0.0,0.045580032993756514,0.0,0.0,0.05642896568998276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753331158119649,0.0,0.0,0.057165521185099426,0.0,0.0,0.06575869852568321,0.0,0.06433466568176778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660080631076725,0.0,0.06428709491755155,0.060344080488319934,0.0,0.05827603884002822,0.16101462060186886,0.0556847776259352,0.11423771278535405,0.2012925201599872,0.0,0.14357150026781104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30861368468721995,0.0,0.11412361195937056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06045728295058805,0.057543557850213985,0.06674588771702553,0.13646639488281445,0.0,0.08378827473788124,0.042257292291176037,0.0,0.05504120518037967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0598013183515298,0.12138477732094395,0.0,0.04334339066226177,0.060641276792004935,0.0,0.0,0.0617145132704377,0.10880662534346064,0.0,0.04976138666641853,0.0,0.0,0.053873880799145055,0.0,0.05458057533165429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0570053270754976,0.0,0.03650919232344405,0.0,0.056270655674576266,0.061185829876453414,0.0,0.2433453365492557,0.05421045001967905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624072684821933,0.05188146893686768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04714263816624357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657472279204707,0.04387361298825377,0.05636447307320864,0.0,0.08067549588275783,0.18223096729931748,0.04551221158845852,0.0,0.0,0.1191564446593869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05371231082419454,0.0,0.04284931592685343,0.1374189802119616,0.09962337745018557,0.05246864750271507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10955048952897464,0.0,0.0,0.0996938153649768,0.0,0.054019766093740984,0.054456296283102994,0.0633178811610007,0.03869240444216924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710367697992873,0.0,0.0,0.047022639923922194,0.06722824481463223,0.09047186753369753,0.04571386405080465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0414893294393564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062309514471360676,0.0,0.2201977812145129
divorce,j1kmale,2018/01/01,"Divorce attorneys So I’m in the process of choosing a divorce attorney and have an initial meeting with a locally recommended female attorney next week.

At the risk of sounding misogynistic, what are the groups thoughts on hiring a female attorney when it comes to representing the husband in divorce proceedings? I’d like to think it would be ok, but the reality is that my choice in attorney could have a profound affect on my life going forward.",10.11825,9.620150325,10.057500000000003,58.577500000000036,58.25,13.5,48.75,12.602617957971056,6.651249999999999,366,23,54,11,4,121,58,80,0.02,0.917,0.062,0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,3,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,10,1,7,1,0,1,0,10,12,4,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,2,2,11,8,0,14,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,0,6,38,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3589208620997961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326738940104635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23680088804342175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943035158052617,0.20356195941571148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431290145513537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669827465029639,0.0,0.3307862594021915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3342243297138053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29598756938314696,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,schlomo13,2018/01/01,"Happy New Years Happy New Years everyone, we are all going through some shit and yet we are all here helping each other through that shit. Thank you all and may be your 2018 be the best year yet!",2.043461538461539,4.382476358974362,2.1304487179487204,97.15413461538462,80.28205128205127,4.925641025641027,20.006410256410245,5.985473137389443,-0.1853128205128205,154,4,33,1,4,46,27,39,0.129,0.574,0.297,0.8553,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,2,2,0,1,3,6,2,0,1,0,5,2,2,0,3,10,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,4,6,8,0,0,0,0,5,0,2,2,7,25,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355753763576801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21449795230371388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12757578467954656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779211268875892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15046259348362973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4336037009253349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4608460304761462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20666880081174085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.433668614982448
divorce,stsnumb,2018/01/01,"Separating w/ 2 Year Old and I'm scared Hello all,

My wife and I have been in really bad shape since before the birth of our child, and it's just gotten worse and worse. We've just had a huge argument and she's saying she's moving out. I believe it.

I love my child so much I can't imagine what's going to happen. She doesn't work reliably. I'm really scared she's going to take him from me and move far away. I'm also scared she's going to ruin me financially. 

I'm so sad and scared.",-0.5434938892882855,1.5411454485981295,2.3975700934579436,92.53310567936735,89.84112149532709,5.5352983465133,13.838245866283247,7.010146845296331,-0.3758247304097777,381,6,88,6,13,134,66,107,0.279,0.664,0.057,-0.9761,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,5,8,0,4,2,0,5,1,0,0,1,12,16,10,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,8,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,7,0,0,3,1,15,1,8,13,2,14,0,2,0,1,13,6,0,0,3,47,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271828292878108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942166900486015,0.0,0.13279029386120472,0.0,0.0,0.13532983513723632,0.17918164402335165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27115530374747393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063699727674725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353822788591214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380649768152312,0.11691141129094065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16688388792842135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037679478652148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12647359795961216,0.6369001218830859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155808201650213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11957696977367052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578173851757205,0.0,0.3241471230034463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241541729419573
divorce,NotSoBeautifulLoser,2018/01/01,"What the hell is my problem??? I divorced my wife and was finalized in October.  We separated in June.  We were married for 16 yrs together for 19.  The last 2 kids at home are living with me.  The divorce was my choice and it was the right one.  
She has already started seeing someone and it is driving me crazy.  I am not sure if I am jealous or just envious.  I know in my heart that I don't want her back.  She was mentally abusive to me and our kids.  So why do I cry when I'm alone and start to think about it?
I haven't started seeing anyone, not even a date.  Hell, not even a flirt yet.  I'm not ugly.  Could lose a few pounds, but not obese.  Am I just lonely?  Feeling sorry for myself?  Just going crazy because it's my first holidays alone in over 20 years?
If you asked for divorce, is it normal to feel like this?",0.3321547987616107,2.4748942588235323,2.40653250773994,93.74518575851394,85.82352941176471,5.226006191950464,21.30030959752322,6.5966054737557815,0.3462352941176472,624,21,139,7,19,209,107,170,0.16899999999999998,0.75,0.08,-0.8962,0,4,0,0,3,0,25.0,3,1,0,2,10,10,4,0,7,0,17,2,1,0,1,29,31,11,0,6,12,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,8,8,1,0,4,1,0,2,7,7,0,2,5,4,24,3,15,25,1,21,2,2,2,0,14,7,2,3,13,97,32,0,0.0,0.1916299480994895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350181011733356,0.17847898566078102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11308912050567127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15120072392985046,0.0,0.0,0.12436450439830204,0.0,0.09859237102142801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12913252016253904,0.0,0.17765869257598693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136493527678986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635565098295395,0.11554376967830117,0.0,0.17717317545753256,0.0,0.13757201004285208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191792924037656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916571739857692,0.0,0.0,0.1622337478088419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888552117077357,0.13183590057008104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07901572471372982,0.0,0.14281528128511886,0.0,0.0,0.1809404915519791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629911969259341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584663078898353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10959606205480253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547588915634128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381211091642426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577642754183861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370378411439872,0.0,0.0,0.18104948806230067,0.3434313494059811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15243365769844244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363348467240917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539570259118907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14594100124657475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041522656927844
divorce,Zombie_Lubricant,2018/01/01,Decided to divorce on new years Thought after 12 years being together ( 6 years of marriage) we could come together after talking about separating and resolve our issues (with counseling and guidance) but when she mentioned the work affair after everything else its time to end it. Man nothing feels shittier than being cheated on. i guarantee it   ,7.270344827586207,10.236809482758623,7.2443448275862075,63.7851379310345,66.24137931034483,10.157241379310344,40.910344827586215,10.355215969177356,5.561761379310345,282,17,35,8,5,90,48,58,0.069,0.8109999999999999,0.119,0.2917,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,2,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,6,4,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,4,1,11,2,0,13,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,0,10,26,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24127539636613565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22363154141684527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233981836388794,0.0,0.2480793421878276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25172960927383864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14162348243455886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29234441605800604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705156522175166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26875687452899744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22512821644123493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223626271897903,0.16332453354493298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20391110580833924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5411123012921198
divorce,newyear-newthrowaway,2018/01/01,"Could use some advice... 39 yr old male, father of 2 boys 9 and 6. 
Need a place to let this all out and hope someone reads it and could offer some advice. 

Been married for 11 years, together for 15. I’m 2.5 years older. 

Got married not for love but because she needed me and I needed to feel needed. We liked each other sure, but that was the basis of the relationship. I acted like a father and gave her advice, money, etc. 

She’s a nice person, a great mother but we do not connect anymore and haven’t for a while. We have nothing in common and I have never felt supported. Every idea I’ve had, decision I make, she has been against. 

Around 6 years ago, I was starved for affection and began talking to someone through work going through the same thing. We hit it off and had an emotional affair. 

I realized it and was so ashamed of myself that I was so weak. I ended it up told my wife. She’s never forgiven me and holds it over me all the time. 

Her lack of support has continued and escalated to verbal abuse. Insulting my intelligence(“you fat stupid fuck”,) my manhood (“you’re not a man. A man can do this or that and you can’t”,) and my sexual performance(“what kind of fucking is that? You’re pathetic no wonder I can’t cum!”

I have horrible guilt and often believe what she says. 

I came from a divorced family and so did she so we don’t want to put the kids through it but I don’t know how much more I can take. 

A divorce would be hell because she would lose her shit and take it out on the kids, play it would kill me to not see them and to see them dragged through the mud. 

There is so much more but I am at a stage where I want to find someone to love.  There are a shitload of moms at my kids school who are blown away by how involved I am in my kids life. I’m have to believe I could find someone who loves and appreciates me. 

I’m scared to death to lose my kids and not find someone. I’ve never admitted I’m a wimpy battered spouse, until just now. Maybe I am. 

Thanks for listening. ",1.191251303441085,3.307380274939174,2.8400538755648266,92.13023722627743,82.01703163017032,5.860757733750436,21.7078554049357,7.07126945348624,0.5598818908585329,1547,49,338,20,42,509,208,411,0.206,0.682,0.113,-0.9943,0,0,0,0,3,1,51.0,5,1,2,3,14,27,7,3,20,0,39,9,2,5,6,83,77,35,2,14,12,6,2,2,0,3,3,2,0,10,19,30,1,1,11,2,1,4,14,13,0,0,15,6,49,14,44,53,12,36,1,2,2,5,52,14,4,6,19,232,68,3,0.0,0.10016223618590664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478250283110989,0.07493673643976391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08383774949445548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525563858716193,0.0,0.0,0.07942506811738652,0.0,0.0,0.10306564762257137,0.0,0.0,0.19048795769343335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668753175923177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20248717038351136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509247584594532,0.07487447687679984,0.0,0.09428083287304996,0.0,0.0,0.07122586572844264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07969373306413699,0.0,0.0427443255340853,0.0,0.08116854603671142,0.0,0.23179519939032714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15630574348229428,0.0,0.0,0.04804418844550415,0.0,0.06761176897093547,0.09320207553999567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08396407652784155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543171137006157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352739897320393,0.0880320259163308,0.04645919206945789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644456389781394,0.05971081312384965,0.08260078092875373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18915001992292105,0.0,0.0,0.2288931773392928,0.0,0.056428943253745874,0.0,0.08492853720294663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990084307464562,0.0,0.0,0.12428848998040196,0.2507317433596108,0.1955998808328341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811153004919157,0.0,0.0887071082439725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0738142374627973,0.08832292070876667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498279227943932,0.0,0.0,0.08455963612113017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907608424607414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06722702403134326,0.08463604358965245,0.08555571358694766,0.1347297042596979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677576856836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35813860900136024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186262523526204,0.0796748951638093,0.0,0.1271222444883216,0.0679474449085004,0.0,0.07783009006722208,0.0,0.0,0.056162466510696285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049294064158979516,0.0,0.0,0.08077849622904643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301261754308651,0.0,0.0,0.09972394178282036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167650933537792,0.061543767579041564,0.0,0.0,0.1801574649293088,0.0,0.0,0.16331670397680026
divorce,jamesmalone123,2018/01/01,"My amazing children A few days ago, my son (the older sibling) sent me and email and attached was a song he made for me. He wrote it from the perspective of a father losing custody and while it’s not perfectly autobiographical it really hit home. It made me cry right away. He put it up on youtube because I told that other folks going through what we’ve been going through need to hear this. I’m posting this here so that you all might take a listen. It really touched me and I hope that it will do the same for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4vqDG1bcE&t=12s",4.898511530398324,7.203402981132076,4.476918238993711,83.94281970649897,71.0754716981132,6.975262054507338,25.928721174004195,7.793537801064563,1.3718859538784067,460,15,86,6,9,139,75,106,0.084,0.8540000000000001,0.062,-0.3331,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,0,2,0,2,2,4,0,0,7,0,5,0,0,2,2,14,19,6,0,2,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,14,4,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,7,4,10,3,10,9,3,13,0,1,0,0,14,4,0,2,4,57,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19039345799835028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327188648036992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20179706361751165,0.0,0.0,0.13093060883078558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23593063582982315,0.1385182033404218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24413390839930044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24207768829226814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21544631854826995,0.2133294247558272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24028886287655396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4064684848996355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278523622475153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15925995017998945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20570413381478175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159176988638142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751928405861204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342474907442136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149117820268613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20523574897496968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,besquits,2018/01/02,"Somewhere to share Ex (32m) and I (31f) seperated Feb 2016 and divorced finalized April 2017. We have two kids, 5&6. Ex wanted to open the marriage and after dumping my love and energy into a marriage without reciprocation for 8 years, this was the proverbial straw, I was the broken camel. I was willing to have a amiable divorce for the sake of the kids. He made a 90  process into 15 months. Ex dragged every point of the process out, partially out of spite but mostly because he felt the child support costs were too high and he thought he could argue them down.  In our state it's just a basic formula based on incomes and who has custody. I always worked more than him but similar incomes so alimony was never a request. I never asked for more than the minimum the state formula requires. He fought and kicked and bit about how to lower it, including just telling the courts he had them 50/50 to lower the payment but I could keep them 90/10...I heartily declined. We had moved from the USA to Country B, he moved from Country B back to the USA to complete the divorce. He wanted a clause that if we moved within 150 miles of each other he automatically got 50/50 custody, which is not allowed in our state. (It's a terrible idea but ultimately the court would have rejected it regardless of my decision). I met a friend in Country B, from Country C. Friend had moved back to County C about a year before I seperated from ex, but had found me on Facebook at some point. I reached out for advice because friend has been divorced. That developed into a relationship and the kids and I moved to Country C, mostly because we needed to move away from the problems the kids were having as expats in County B. Friend is now my second husband. I wasn't looking for another thing so close to my divorce but in this man I found an amazing person and the kids and I are all happy with how life is now. The only problem is that since I'm still processing the divorce emotionally, things kind of spill into my new marriage and I'm really sorry that this effects new husband. I want to figure this out as much as I can myself, DH has been extremely supportive and understanding but he doesn't deserve to pay for something Ex did. 

I'm still processing parts of the divorce and how my ex is choosing to be with the kids is infuriating. He was very excited to be a dad and have a big family until we actually had babies. He's.... exceptionally lazy. When we first got married it was more like ""likes to take it easy"" but he'd clean after himself and motivate himself through work, school etc. As the years went on it just got worse and worse. When I got pregnant with my first I realized he wasn't interested in being independent and was fine with scraping by and welfare forever, and if we were going to get anywhere I'd have to do it. So I did. I always wanted to be a mom so I had my babies close and came to accept that with ex's increasingly stubborn laziness I would be doing their care and the breadwinning. It's those little steps you take to keep peace and suddenly you look up and it's like.... How the hell did I get here, why is this ok? Going into the divorce my expectations for his being a dad were low but he's still disappointed at every turn. He was supposed to get the divorce filed/finalized quickly, and move back to Country B to co parent. He just.... Never came back. Calls to the kids were ever day the first week... One the next. Then two weeks. Then a month. Average now is 5 minutes once a month and no messages in between. The kids have slowed down on messages (none for months, now) because he wouldn't respond, or would respond a week later, etc. I have never asked will never refuse communication between them, it's just not there.  We went back to the States for 5 weeks in the summer, he was supposed to have full custody for the visit. He chose weekends only because he thought 20 minutes was too far to drive after work to see them. His weekends got shorter every time and the time he had them he mostly sent them to the neighbors to play. He argues money at every opportunity, even though he's required to do state minimum based on income. I'm so angry that he can treat such incredible kids with absolute disregard. I'm angry he pulls the ""sad divorced dad who doesn't get custody"" when he's trying to use my babies time and hearts like child support coupons. I'm angry he thinks he can treat them like expensive garbage and that for some reason we would still be friends. 

I'm also scared about some things with NH. What if he gets bored and walks away too? What if one women is never enough? What if I'm too much work because of the kids and the divorce and he gives up? He's literally never given indications of these things but that makes it worse, knowing I'm just paranoid and broken. I'm scared it's not temporary. I'm worried I'll be angry and scared forever or for too long and I don't know how to make it stop. My kids almost never bring up ex anymore, they turn to NH for support (based on the behaviors and decisions of each, I have never tried to stand between them and their Dad, I wanted him to come back and coparent), when they do bring him up and I can see their hurt I get this primal rage and I want to tear him in half. My baby took NH's hand, squeezed it and said ""When our Dad left this family, you came and you took care of us. I really remember that."" It was said with absolute love, but it broke my heart completely that this child is five years old and feels rejection so deeply in the first place.

Any advice for processing and letting this anger sadness go would be so appreciated.

tl;dr still angry about exs abandonment effecting kids and my fear affecting second marriage, need advice on how to let those feelings go
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divorce,theduarte92,2018/01/02,"Unresolved pain Does anyone else have any unresolved pain caused by a ex ?? My first wife the woman  who I’ve known since 16(I’m 25) completely destroyed me and my ability to let anyone else in. It’s so hard knowing I gave it my all and i still couldn’t keep her happy . Last night she had problems with her boyfriend and i picked her up . We talked until 4 am and had sex... I then started to vent on how much I loved her before and how she hurt me and stared to cry uncontrollably as she held me ,she also began crying and said she was young and regrets hurting me so bad . Now my emotions are all mixed up ",2.273348115299335,4.164313422764227,3.1611529933481144,92.3147228381375,77.37398373983741,6.098743532889874,21.750923872875084,6.980632752743323,0.44029105691056936,473,13,102,5,11,150,86,123,0.249,0.6829999999999999,0.068,-0.9756,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,0,0,1,7,11,1,1,2,0,8,4,0,4,2,25,16,16,0,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,3,10,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,9,0,1,7,3,23,2,11,7,3,14,0,3,1,2,18,4,0,2,10,67,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401612067478487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10545861304737582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21686881148058545,0.3177922435563538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948396572201132,0.0,0.0,0.1319602752923404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930820970632426,0.0,0.0,0.16259672598056324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34069262662818944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357101312531119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259096166630452,0.17444229919957674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131909586782454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650838141451061,0.13891976374433598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320292162665989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1378407853605086,0.0,0.0,0.08522701939826029,0.12640957387970975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585781455944958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399642883447798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400044936967192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455305498932266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33002865025045064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483890613409051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751504747194716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282824345586833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976527219980416,0.0,0.123845790813166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464612377721353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bubbe2005,2018/01/02,"[Serious] Kids of divorced parents - having to live in 2 different homes. What was it like for you growing up? having to be with dad one week and mom the following week - did it ever get 'old'?

What was is it like when you turned 18 and went off to college?

",2.9538235294117685,4.360408254901961,4.190343137254903,87.72904411764708,74.29411764705883,7.452941176470588,26.47549019607843,8.07648339933343,1.5464078431372543,195,7,41,3,4,64,40,51,0.0,0.867,0.133,0.7383,2,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,0,1,4,11,3,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,1,4,0,2,2,9,6,0,11,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,7,29,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822258448953284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2443458763742793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14113052020636874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2709600044172321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26394139821870233,0.0,0.23852761691396385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163701765628512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834534724562336,0.0,0.18304545052778512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999447287660945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29382125619251304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4333601285651686,0.0,0.0,0.250410988497391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,imstillnotfunny,2018/01/02,"A subreddit for issues about helping children handle divorce? Looking for a much more specific subreddit regarding helping my kids handle all the issues that come along with divorce. 
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divorce,LikeMyNewHat,2018/01/02,"My wife (32,f) and I (33,m) are in therapy. Do I tell her I want a divorce during a session? I previously told her I wanted a divorce but I stupidly agreed to give it more time.  It's not working and I want a divorce.  It's obviously hard and I'm sure it'll be harder for her since I'm asking for divorce.  I want to try to make it as easy as possible for her.  Do I bring it up at the beginning of the session or at home where we can be alone?

We don't own a house or have kids if that is relevant.",0.8185585585585606,1.8764753603603632,3.7839639639639664,89.90045045045046,79.18018018018017,7.095495495495496,24.94594594594595,7.793537801064563,1.1292054054054046,379,14,93,6,9,137,67,111,0.078,0.789,0.133,0.5803,0,1,0,0,4,0,14.0,2,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,7,0,10,0,0,1,2,17,22,9,0,5,5,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,16,1,13,18,2,8,0,0,0,0,16,5,0,3,2,63,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364999103092165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134747795588325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219052439027998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455517078404967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290519029959383,0.0,0.0,0.26348321022165355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242422328558822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25742833053238073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18889202372988495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521551371419892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1995864265276353,0.0,0.2611361130707112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315169501288926,0.0,0.0,0.2181965288721384,0.0,0.1550334657191484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5387428327648002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624023826073442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tiemeinbows,2018/01/02,"Ex on housing lease, parents have moved in with me, worried about refinancing. ETA: I don't know why I said housing lease when I mean mortgage.

So my husband told me two years ago that he wanted a divorce. We have been separated for more than a year and a half. I have been trying to take care of financial things on my end in order to afford a divorce. We own a home together. For a while he was living here by himself as I did not feel emotionally safe in the home (he was claiming suicidal and was being emotionally abusive at the time) and had moved in with a friend. Now he has moved out and I'm back in the house because my parents lost their home and my sister have had to move in with me. My word for 2018 is ""Finish"" and among other things I want to finally take care of the divorce and cut all financial ties.

The big problem is that he is still depressed and not interested in making any financial restorations to me, as far as I can tell (he says he intends to, but his words have not panned out into action). Now I am in a much worse financial situation credit-wise than he is, as he got fired and cashed out his retirement to pay off his debt, whereas I still have credit card debt. I can't really afford to sell the house and buy a new one as the housing market in my area has gone up and I wouldn't be able to find another home for four people in any area reasonably close to where I work that I could afford. I have a Quit Claim Deed for him to sign but have not seen him since he moved out of the house.

My one helpful thing is that I do have legal counsel through my work. Part of why I have held off so long is that at first, before he was treating me irrationally and not stopped talking to me, he had made it seem like he wanted to do this in the most amicable way possible, and at the time I believed him. I believed that he wanted to get help for his depression and sort himself out and see how he really felt about things. But mostly he's just been sapping my finances, as we still had several accounts together that I couldn't just close on my own - like for example, his car, and I had to help him make ends meet through his unemployment period, etc. I've been really foolish on the spectrum of being too nice, but I also had a lot of shock and healing to go through, so I can't blame myself too much for it. I don't even care too much about reparations at this point, I just want his name off the house so I can assure my elderly parents have a safe place to live.

Am I pretty hands-tied here or should I just take what I have to my legal counsel and have them help me write up the papers in a way that allows that to happen?

I know this must seem like an endless stream of naivéte, and it sort of is, I've had to grow up a lot through this process, so please be gentle with your answers. I know I've been foolish. I know I've let myself be taken advantage of. Like most of you I didn't think I'd ever have to be in this kind of boat, but any advice could help.",6.6309639203015625,4.9167955670436205,7.040198707592893,81.33804711900916,65.8659127625202,10.256564351103929,32.26499730748519,8.936278230431713,2.3425508454496486,2332,72,513,31,30,765,261,619,0.092,0.787,0.121,0.9618,12,0,0,0,3,0,54.0,3,2,2,6,29,23,1,0,28,0,64,1,0,7,4,99,101,40,1,12,15,6,3,4,1,3,1,2,4,0,23,34,0,4,13,0,9,10,12,6,0,6,28,7,73,17,94,60,14,79,0,3,2,0,59,43,0,10,27,359,96,10,0.05982803561584105,0.07088643905198974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058463263980136564,0.053033943756337264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04784445846671417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220553474285944,0.06273491184573148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046004066424336895,0.0,0.03647061520766666,0.0,0.05090925176604262,0.13481141713041656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299600891971413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09553563637536723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305959881808906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13459697486875535,0.1059797633077144,0.0,0.06672407453864987,0.03951585327262072,0.05411788343420849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030250852438702663,0.0,0.0574442964800695,0.06553868864587624,0.05468174067662631,0.050889696531668235,0.0,0.0,0.04622299190693968,0.0,0.03125767929816981,0.0,0.03400165137810428,0.0,0.04784994547705389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052905734309966375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050735576216352,0.0,0.24004959121017436,0.0,0.0,0.4832346430440021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062301692507731814,0.1315196949446582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061178219890626065,0.0,0.1169158246843679,0.0,0.10565850309842377,0.052945928841532715,0.0,0.0,0.06530936827071326,0.1017273128195762,0.0,0.05661073388109185,0.07987135669176826,0.0,0.0,0.06517026997529506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317938668153162,0.13194147023894914,0.0,0.0,0.05778228960986639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08108205059005116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19929586014217826,0.0647879323724462,0.0,0.04147722684381424,0.0,0.06250756347027972,0.06567321708428718,0.05655683178705693,0.06744712082932512,0.0,0.06086662078836577,0.0,0.05724735013166021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06363448025591603,0.0,0.0,0.11498211479974373,0.061513184958345526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0569101623529653,0.04757765524323418,0.0,0.0,0.04767519842394195,0.10893039328157736,0.0,0.06758865087261205,0.0,0.04949036930728479,0.06724921872863363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433362395775045,0.050018916696942334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654421604806152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13494971127663594,0.0480875087823025,0.05229234015565888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15898835373166542,0.038335389472432965,0.0,0.0,0.06977241738382907,0.0,0.0,0.057168251905076524,0.0,0.04061930896775618,0.0,0.058443297443093886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764406274858788,0.0949774198120405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797099297528057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871110449535949,0.060758274289845114,0.06096987954461878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705458679480665
divorce,smiles5611,2018/01/02,"Today I decided Today I decided:

•	It was ok to cry and have a broken heart.

•	I would not be ashamed of loving him. Even if he lied and manipulated me many times. There was some great things about our relationship.

•	That I would not feel worthless and wonder how he cannot love me. 

•	I would begin to love myself and the many wonderful things about myself.

•	That I would not feel ashamed that my buckets are empty and I am depressed.

•	I will not feel ashamed for being sensitive and feeling too much.

•	That I will take my time to heal and be depressed, and lay in bed. I can cry, read, watch t.v., self reflect. Whatever it is I feel I need.

•	I would not feel ashamed of still having sex with him (we are still living in the same house, in the same bed). I’m slowly detaching from what once was. It’s a sad process but allows me to slowly pull the band aid off.

•	When I move out that I HAVE TO stop above.

•	We can never go back to what once was.

•	Its ok to fail.

•	Its ok to take time for me.

•	I will be a better person and be more sensitive to others.

•	That I do not have to hide my pain and be ashamed of it.
",-0.8273984336759668,1.2908815110132146,1.0603560939794399,98.69124877630938,99.52863436123349,4.108125305922664,15.556656877141455,5.985473137389443,-0.6338829172785116,841,21,193,9,36,273,113,227,0.14,0.722,0.138,-0.318,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,3,0,0,2,10,19,0,5,7,3,30,7,1,3,1,47,47,14,0,7,8,0,6,0,0,8,2,0,2,2,17,14,0,1,11,2,0,3,8,11,0,0,4,7,31,8,24,29,5,20,0,5,1,4,14,5,0,4,12,141,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648931649420898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947842964418577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24710553810338984,0.0,0.0,0.19375579058003653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0742912400114786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34123621072851024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392434008422564,0.0,0.0,0.12400836326192315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13328801541436594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297855268385851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932091253078457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30454974440441673,0.0,0.0,0.22807186191951875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195472497670296,0.08268491943696847,0.08340166496209382,0.08675064704218248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23957267445963895,0.0,0.0,0.11968545961323912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09821222027679376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250931926838112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076022402526773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11734000349630448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796515591405822,0.09403738089141486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691402405133555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945194103011805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19676201992712286,0.0,0.2132336545387998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439570965856447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995088490226046,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,smokinchokin,2018/01/02,"Only 25 with two kids and its looking like I'm getting divorced after 7 years of marriage I've been with my wife since we were 12 years old. Stayed together the whole time no other relationships or break ups. She was my first kiss and first pretty much everything. We had our first kid at 18 and our 2nd at 21.

The situation now: I was kicked out of my house less than a week after we returned from vacation. I've been living outside the house for almost 5 months now. I felt her getting real distant so I decided to go all out for that vacation and drive them 10 hours to disney. It was also the week of her birthday. When we got back I freaked out because she was acting so distant from me and it led to a big fight. I left and haven't been allowed back since. I am currently the only one working. She's not had to work the whole time we've been married. I am still paying all the bills in the house for my kids. Now I'll admit I've not treated her the way I should have but we've always been together and got each other through extremely tough times. 


This weekend: Friday she text me saying she was going to dinner. And not wanting to be the asshole and throwing a fit like a usually would I said ok have fun. Then at 10 she text me said I'm going to the movies. Again I played it cool. Have fun talk to you later then. Then around midnight I get another text I'm going out for drinks. I hated this but again I said be safe have fun. It was 3 in the morning so I called her. She was still at the bar. Said she was about to leave. She had a friend with her she was taking home. Ok call me when you get home. Around 4 I called her to make sure she got home safe she didn't answrr. I drove past our house and sure enough she wasn't home. She lied about why she didn't answer her phone and where she was. It wasn't until later that night she admitted she took her friend to some guys house. Fast forward to Sunday I hadnt answered her calls all day and she text me that night saying she wanted to spend new years with me. I took the bait. She was with this same friend she was with Friday. We didn't get to this outside thing until 11:40. We rushed through the crowd watched the fireworks and they tried to ditch me. I caught up to them and wanted to know where we were going next. They acted strange lied saying they were going home. Then her friend started in me saying it none of my business. She was pulling my wife away from me saying let's go. I was trying to talk to her I asked to just talk to my wife without her trying to but in and she says whatever you have to say say it in front of me. Then starts yelling crazy shit and running around asking people to call the police. My wife was telling her to stop but she was walking up to strangers telling the call the cops. She threatened to have me arrest, my grandpa's the governor blah blah. I hadn't done anything wrong at all. She stands outside standing in front of cars directing traffic while telling me she was going to burry me. The look of panic and embarrassment on my wife's made me feel bad for her. I never felt so embarrassed for my wife. I just lite a cigarette and walked. Not once did I raise my voice, cuss, or call a single name. I was actually pretty proud of myself. 

I told her to file the papers she's been sitting on for months or I would. We'll see what today bring. I love this woman and my kids but I don't think I want to be with her now. The lying the hanging out with shady people I just cant deal with it.",1.5275335438042603,3.5422941132596684,2.5417805840568266,95.26103314917128,80.24309392265194,5.2421152328334655,19.873243883188643,6.18269132825596,-0.11661351223362225,2734,69,607,20,70,865,295,724,0.08,0.797,0.123,0.9884,2,0,2,0,3,0,60.0,11,3,5,6,27,31,3,3,31,3,58,6,1,4,7,96,110,42,0,7,16,7,3,4,4,4,0,14,5,6,21,44,3,3,10,4,3,28,18,10,0,5,54,22,124,21,92,48,14,120,0,0,4,2,120,31,1,5,59,405,145,4,0.0,0.0,0.05202058091930468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337991555197685,0.0,0.0,0.042630111920311714,0.04435623880233936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0558977235609224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043867657419563416,0.14236534273870918,0.09967092161672306,0.0,0.0500842960379672,0.08198059141262233,0.04450966471601192,0.03249585130505978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810315266763904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034379027020425834,0.05495785089862845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054552238417387613,0.0,0.05222120682230613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055081056972796034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479094824280488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0269539517527179,0.0,0.1023674158558038,0.0,0.0,0.13603039066133504,0.0,0.0,0.16474144604691385,0.0,0.13925524601529715,0.0,0.2423677475179171,0.0,0.12790500278021302,0.0,0.0,0.0527829588192008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0526302723480936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26735961874336595,0.0,0.052497301520751966,0.30754937945828204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029296492712508525,0.0,0.0,0.0564451089338849,0.05791892242212459,0.05451068827202345,0.0,0.05208685447884895,0.0,0.0470716354282915,0.0,0.0895300075482571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04811223931630284,0.05044099146656447,0.035583273216124464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850993222272615,0.0,0.03918725960102583,0.0,0.041114149343647315,0.05148486474759005,0.05669329515824709,0.10005124488681348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593741592260042,0.0567709121039819,0.0361226461972289,0.08108574652881945,0.0,0.06254504659829763,0.0,0.0,0.05088818795928784,0.0739136309266034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10846609783343653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060675781175574574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05723247093399725,0.0,0.0,0.20283114644910208,0.33913909078287835,0.0,0.0,0.04247929874783039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05471954113374552,0.08819328508085858,0.059920036987139526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07546286423701258,0.05681886672285464,0.08514312324072276,0.04456758599131953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10048366670030454,0.0,0.04008072184813282,0.1285400199137826,0.13977971858297716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03541523684672023,0.03415739243564673,0.0,0.0,0.0932523658124166,0.0,0.050529423218808975,0.05093774817615483,0.1184535308409326,0.10857719428212537,0.0,0.052073832390108064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871085001253209,0.0,0.12576894274593484,0.042313134752131984,0.08552036969511582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048101866571293936,0.1190321847006022,0.0,0.05138667650066764,0.0,0.07761721450877343,0.0,0.0,0.07573645635098092,0.0582835516506741,0.0,0.102985144914576
divorce,Solostrom,2018/01/02,"Court Order Pro-Tip Hi Gang.

I have a pro-tip for you regarding court orders and how they should be written. In short, they need to be EASY to read and hard for the 1am Secretary at a police station, or beat cop to misinterpret.

The reason our case conference agreement was not well written is that we were being rushed out of the room at the court house, it had to be quickly hand written by my lawyer. I did not really think of who was going to read it and have to make an interpretation of it eventuality. Next time I’m in a conference or mediation, I’m going to have prepared text which passes the late night desk clerk rest of readability and simple language so there is no confusion regarding schedule. 
",5.486231884057971,6.300286173913047,6.3798550724637675,76.63253623188406,67.69565217391305,9.611594202898553,29.826086956521745,9.725611199111238,2.691921739130435,564,20,108,12,9,187,92,138,0.056,0.858,0.085,0.7232,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,2,1,5,3,0,1,9,0,15,1,1,3,0,18,25,8,0,2,4,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,0,3,2,0,4,3,1,1,0,8,2,8,2,19,12,1,19,0,0,0,0,7,7,0,3,6,72,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.296117118490611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23337323478918426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006031519339167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938760011094684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738979949127757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19317102588274407,0.0,0.0,0.2770641782484989,0.2444787859827885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5211776199988406,0.0,0.16689470036732015,0.2678562119893842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692961380843754,0.0,0.0,0.15191032161991122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342372477215949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,the_security_bro,2018/01/02,"When did you guys start getting mean with your divorce? So last week my pregnant wife decided that she was going to leave the marriage (for very silly reasons I demanded to stop being treated like a child). She sent me a pretty threatening email demanding I close our joint accounts & that she was going to be leaving at the end of next month. 

So in my initial shock I told her that I did not want to do anything like that until we talk. Two days later, she cleaned out the bank account and closed the joint savings/checking accounts. And removed herself from almost every bill along with saying she is going to refuse to contribute financially. 

So I have tried, twice to just sit down and talk to her about what is going on but she refuses to speak with me. Honestly, her walking out on the marriage good riddance I don't care. Manipulating me into selling my car so she could get a new one 3 weeks ago? I don't care. Cleaning out our bank accounts? Sure I care......but it's more of a really thing? 

But walking out with my two boys and refusing to even talk about a custody plan? I'm ready to come at my wife with every legal plan of action I can take now....",3.763991228070172,5.4085509254386,4.5140350877193,85.25991228070178,72.64035087719299,6.996491228070176,28.017543859649123,7.594959193182576,1.6288754385964914,913,35,177,11,18,293,139,228,0.097,0.7909999999999999,0.112,0.7465,0,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,3,2,0,2,10,10,0,0,10,0,14,0,0,2,1,35,30,12,0,2,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,3,7,19,0,4,3,0,8,11,3,1,0,4,6,2,33,9,36,21,1,40,0,0,0,0,35,13,0,1,17,120,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631233022891373,0.0,0.13139077846463168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14216913615687535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10797704713796158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4013409283276171,0.0,0.0,0.11302830595870048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476283394814773,0.0,0.0,0.08462147375770948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162156946508057,0.0,0.0,0.08666489138049709,0.0,0.22110507633612092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371066626092187,0.0,0.29828528850041525,0.11005516586983967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992141289861134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695603665477436,0.0,0.27787105793086697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820800271004745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429293283807165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473289512199632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267262487844384,0.13954642129986206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891326550404413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13349070417205205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405835181365053,0.13490872779855034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434577472860852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287317500172314,0.0,0.0,0.10969987039389437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366661743664616,0.0,0.0986557807481491,0.3163919070626124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717202885547752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537956114942747,0.0,0.08908495472323567,0.0,0.2563518995720728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826439475609834,0.07739277555605882,0.0,0.2105021679527223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,truthserum23,2018/01/02,"I'm so cynical. Anytime I see a picture post of a couple announcing how crazy happy in love they are with umpteen hashtags of declaration, I play a game with myself and ask how long before they're done. I know some couples survive, but my outlook for marriages is dismal.",6.891858974358975,7.029308057692312,7.281538461538464,73.73012820512822,64.57692307692308,9.241025641025642,38.487179487179496,8.841846274778883,3.556402564102564,217,11,37,3,3,71,43,52,0.17,0.706,0.124,-0.5418,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,1,3,4,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,8,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,3,6,7,1,3,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,1,1,24,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2684476670911333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24434457399201176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6354548186687359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938554374777632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056778576044981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15781082375997135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541198304553539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591652247915962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27501153274040685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288223779523889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,gockcobbles,2018/01/02,"I was doing so well, then I decided to look at Facebook It was a stupid idea. I know it, you know it, but we all have either been tempted or followed through with this.

It's been ""over"" since late June 2017, but we didn't legally separate until September.

I have known about her new relationship since about the first week in July. I'll never know if the seeds were planted before she mentally checked out of the marriage, but her rationality is that she mourned our marriage in the months preceding the imploding of it. So she was ready as soon as June came and she gave up.

It wasn't until the other night when I got curious that I discovered pictures of them together. That's when this became ""real"" for me, even though I have known about it for so long. Even though I spent 3 months (June - Sept) watching her leave our house to spend the night at his, for some reason seeing the pictures of them ""happy"" made it feel like I'm just finding out for the first time.

It hurts so fucking bad. I objectively shouldn't want my marriage back, it was not a healthy one. Now, I just feel an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. She might not have left me for another man, but it sure feels like it. I feel like a failure, and less of a man.

I had been doing so well, and I guess the positive in this is that my daily habits are so engrained now that I'm only emotionally suffering. I'm not succumbing to it, so I'm still getting sleep, I'm still eating, and I still go to the gym almost every day. But I just wish this pain was over. I wish I could move on as resiliently as she has displayed. I couldn't even attempt to date, and her she is in a relationship.

The worst part is my daughter. This guy has been in her life from the start. My stbx's reasoning is that he needs to ""accept"" her as part of the package, so she isn't going to wait. I'm just heartbroken that I feel like I have been totally replaced, and so easily. I know that there's absolutely nothing I can do, what my stbx chooses to do with our daughter isn't my call. Just as what I choose to do with her isn't my stbx's. But, I just know I would never have introduced my daughter to another woman so quickly. I just don't think it's right, and more bluntly I feel its fucking trashy.

I know this is probably vague and all over the place, but that's just where my mind is at right now. I'm just fucking sad, again.",4.174524793388429,4.766243095041325,4.912469008264466,86.78188533057853,70.5289256198347,8.36404958677686,27.521694214876035,8.472884824447931,1.651668595041322,1854,60,404,28,32,599,214,484,0.12,0.792,0.08800000000000001,-0.9529,1,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,5,1,2,3,43,23,4,3,21,0,45,7,1,3,6,84,86,41,1,9,22,3,6,4,0,3,2,0,0,4,33,17,1,1,23,1,3,5,13,14,2,3,19,9,63,9,53,62,10,60,0,5,3,3,39,20,3,6,39,292,96,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449926209100538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769697963971405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0648867594536149,0.07045784515636576,0.0,0.0,0.07180531266164784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616639130127407,0.09651381564016154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737445554875017,0.0,0.0,0.054421262840029634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634679296196426,0.0,0.09492162552474907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16720624056931982,0.0,0.07109789596081456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560051671108584,0.2411382838134696,0.0,0.0,0.07712624621183893,0.14355546168722902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340373691746684,0.044087613885924366,0.0,0.09591573725880806,0.0,0.0674902925623914,0.0,0.09295945251061397,0.08355429237911595,0.0,0.08982926766260516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736881503855817,0.09033575306662346,0.09526025155271182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27825431986504623,0.0,0.09518981358714892,0.08935139751046411,0.0916844126703469,0.0,0.059603532169070175,0.16490474825943474,0.0,0.0,0.07467795818526413,0.0708620414120316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984700826124765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08504010560857636,0.08951901624163758,0.0852046674675249,0.0,0.1347104029350977,0.08968776669074327,0.0,0.0625703149450685,0.13016563421329475,0.08149943728911467,0.0,0.15837897600250367,0.0,0.08096956261917987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0571813746214753,0.06417849931883042,0.08979145567117035,0.0,0.0,0.1827611909161172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881642330814035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098116671632817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604846098227844,0.0,0.17352340981345848,0.0,0.18119554935821114,0.0,0.14412844290527413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06724381935074278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13960807981155074,0.0,0.08444581589651384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05972804824964861,0.0,0.20216960850076215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795317452320306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407042004318323,0.16581542081314313,0.0,0.04920549872181208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049772385110132635,0.0,0.06768845602566381,0.0,0.1517442721529333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1940768815030175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059944593475556016,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,hurtslikehella,2018/01/02,"For those of us in the middle of it Just heard this song The Black Seeds - One by One.. for the millionth time.. only now in a different light.. (the divorce rays man)... ""When the war is over the fight is done well i'll be lying in the sun"" a hopeful and inspiring song for me.. take each day one by one.. all those threats just skipping across my skin.. ""There’s a small piece of earth between you and me"".. everything we own... when it's over and done i'll be lying in the sun..

https://genius.com/The-black-seeds-one-by-one-lyrics",5.147489177489177,6.458064181818184,4.3479365079365095,89.08000000000004,68.79797979797979,7.273304473304473,24.24386724386725,7.447530270364453,0.740998845598845,410,10,86,4,7,121,63,99,0.149,0.7759999999999999,0.076,-0.836,1,0,0,0,2,0,40.0,2,1,0,0,7,6,3,0,11,0,6,1,1,0,1,10,9,5,1,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,5,5,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,1,4,3,6,6,3,16,4,4,14,0,0,1,0,7,9,0,1,5,62,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240332573553668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829740761085451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.388456334418009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057725281105962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18851118797136612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7716679171196953,0.14434912656165844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14270367946066656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11067212287465206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228302351501032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17065024407312432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,wolff540,2018/01/02,"I feel like everything gets turned around on me when I talk to my STBXW. I guess with out going into a crazy amount of detail, almost every time I talk to my STBXW about something it ends up getting turned around on me.

It can be about anything. Its almost as if she can never do wrong. I know the best option is too just drop all contact. But we have a son and are still trying to work on custody in the divorce. Which even that seems to get turned around on.

I guess I'm just wondering what to do when this happens. As I usually call her out on her BS, but she gets defensive it seems. Which usually ends up with her blocking my number for the time being.

I am just curious on how to respond or what to say or not to say. Because when she does this(turn things on me) I get upset.",3.065165631469977,4.198587602484473,4.00771739130435,90.22577898550726,73.59627329192547,6.857349896480331,23.97567287784679,7.1686216300943375,0.777893995859213,608,17,132,6,12,196,96,161,0.063,0.865,0.073,-0.0959,0,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,1,0,0,2,15,5,1,1,5,0,10,0,0,1,2,34,28,12,0,1,9,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,11,10,0,2,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,0,3,22,2,32,26,3,29,0,0,0,0,16,16,0,11,12,100,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23362759993760254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09599767451709673,0.3115448291216627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07111221205415688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242292579481401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911847924376034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10208616062142203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664459206060407,0.0,0.0,0.07704996807492398,0.0,0.09828743105501386,0.0,0.10484259180795266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05898461051975393,0.08333883205947275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3047388570107004,0.0,0.06629810408251577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25701873891133153,0.0,0.10315822137105964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06411090396301082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056992066558926885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997204224948195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18553853777521184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123978765390788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0898072320016799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316136663120343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18752681314596384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750084184438713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604571549664934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920154064747396,0.5075514702085765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2569594731817905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650809503698415,0.08492671518873944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754465932722905,0.0,0.0
divorce,doitprontotonto,2018/01/02,"she won't agree to 50/50 First off Happy 2018 to you all. 2017 has been a fucker of a year for a lot of us so here's looking forward.

I have posted here before but things just keep taking a turn for the worst. Friday my stbxw moved out of our marital home with the kids and says she paid $400 for a lawyer who told her to take the kids' beds, bedframes, half of their toys and half the toy storage, and her belongings, some of the kitchen supplies etc. She didn't have a court order or any signed separation agreement or any form of custody arrangement to move the kids out of the home and I did not harm anyone or cause any form of domestic violence or abuse in any way. (She is the verbally and psychologically abusive one). She just decided to finally move them into her own place. In Canada this is technically considered criminal abduction without a court order or the other spouse's consent so I called the police yesterday. They said it is a matter for the courts to handle if there is no prior custody order in place and that there isn't anything anyone can do until I can get a hold of a lawyer and have them handle the situation Tuesday when the courts open. 

She said she wasn't keeping them from me and said I could come over to visit them. So I went over to see them and the new living arrangements she has suddenly put them in. She asked me if I had decided on a custody arrangement as I had been trying to get her to agree to one before moving them out of the home. I told her I wasn't willing to settle for anything less than 50/50 joint shared custody as I don't feel I deserve anything less and reminded her that what she has done is actually illegal without first having a court order or my expressed consent which I did not give her. She started dictating to me that she was going to take them more than half the time and that I could have them every second weekend and visit them on Wednesday each week. I told her again this arrangement was not in the best interest of the kids to see their father for only that amount of time throughout the month and was not going to work for me and that she does not have the right to dictate my legal access rights to my kids to me and I left. 

She is playing head games with me. She has everyone in her family completely wrapped around her finger and on her side and they even helped her move out. She had even contacted my mom behind my back and told her she was afraid of me and needed to leave and even my own mother is now suspect of me. I'm telling you it's the most fucked up situation I have ever been in and I have nobody on my side at this point. 

She was trying to be all nice and invite me for dinner just to get me to agree to 60/40 yet she is the one who illegally took them from me. I have contacted my lawyer and will be meeting with him tomorrow at 10am at the law courts to present the matter before the judge and so far it's not favouring well for her. She could actually face charges and/or sentencing should she be convicted of criminal abduction without just cause. I told her I am not playing her games anymore and she's got everyone wrapped around her finger and against me and that she knows I know what she is trying to do and I am not falling for it. She wants to use our kids as a weapon against me to try and get sole custody of them and she actually sickens me.

Any tips on how to deal with this situation so I can effectively get the 50/50 custody that I feel I should be entitled to?",6.559945173745175,5.768310705714287,6.791235521235522,80.06944015444016,65.51428571428572,10.081853281853284,31.77606177606177,9.358847034038227,2.523400386100386,2754,90,567,44,37,890,276,700,0.123,0.8170000000000001,0.06,-0.9951,0,0,0,0,2,0,37.0,3,2,16,5,26,17,3,2,39,0,60,8,4,5,3,100,101,50,0,9,24,4,4,0,0,5,0,4,5,6,23,44,2,3,8,7,1,15,18,7,1,9,29,11,114,10,100,60,17,82,0,0,3,2,101,37,2,11,26,433,137,5,0.0,0.1545782466947569,0.19097074570322176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2217996119045417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469250696257235,0.09122330899418177,0.0,0.1610408630896056,0.1161404248713707,0.06098301188267272,0.0,0.0,0.05015929720695657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652260256926954,0.0,0.06845684450561153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660905347910294,0.0,0.0,0.13402224082046868,0.0,0.056191497568578434,0.0683943960143622,0.0,0.0,0.15624706959402815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725121469800659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05708486689452748,0.06675487192597146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07275080108728676,0.12925514521294446,0.059005979479063435,0.05496068110532059,0.12466373349082592,0.0,0.0,0.061494820796281324,0.0,0.06596640758843722,0.0,0.0,0.07145834744303432,0.0,0.1109724253312273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06030583155853383,0.17040485198143354,0.06257637328296815,0.07414557318782672,0.0,0.052171901813673385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06944056033177111,0.0,0.0,0.06694673896945526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04372356111778352,0.0,0.1962987143167494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596220285523205,0.0,0.0,0.07169948202456608,0.0,0.0,0.06907115321097458,0.07087463980482354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05760095434250919,0.0,0.05477835887949771,0.0,0.0,0.05545782051869684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639880166203743,0.05206747258291385,0.3466558804254283,0.0,0.04836862019448128,0.0,0.06300136625110317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260845148498696,0.04961179212426108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13630688317282402,0.0,0.061665221255095326,0.0,0.06247411926022362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655760670388708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141535599153364,0.1861513972196437,0.051875017476564235,0.0,0.0,0.10396274212325136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2199701338158685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617146778438265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713879015566456,0.0,0.05701554743707137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043337169445593716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607447976711658,0.0,0.0,0.31165933372706484,0.07247503044664462,0.1771526866396351,0.07095356496563755,0.0,0.0,0.07846593238173212,0.05633940912350147,0.0,0.0,0.0384754590683933,0.05177803831904075,0.0523250877661472,0.0,0.05865130352066185,0.06047061594760105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18864364367182634,0.0,0.04748959313218908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04200719871749519
divorce,ThatFlappingTerror,2018/01/02,"Never got the final papers I've been divorced for just over a year, but I was never sent the final paperwork for it. All I ever got was an email from my ex-husband that was a fwd from his lawyer containing the finalized papers, I never got anything physical to keep. Shouldn't I have been mailed a copy of them from the courts, or something?",8.604803921568633,6.240342029411767,8.520588235294117,74.34598039215689,62.529411764705884,11.419607843137255,34.431372549019606,9.725611199111238,3.078396078431373,270,8,52,4,3,88,47,68,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,1,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,8,0,7,0,0,0,5,11,12,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,9,0,7,0,8,2,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,8,40,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639170518429841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801794776509736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6546113375165383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4779332247258592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17704993055089935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4608846616758706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15334680530487785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282723410291751
divorce,burninator1231,2018/01/02,"I know I can’t, but I really wish I could ask unequivocally that she wants to go through with this. We definitely are, there is no other way, but I made her laugh the other day and it’s sent me into a tail spin of questioning myself. I know I’ll never really get closure, I know this marriage has long been unsalvageable, but what would I really be hoping to accomplish by even asking. I can’t even answer that for myself. Then if I did ask I might undue the progress made toward being able to coparent on friendly terms. 

I hate this shit.",3.8547222222222217,5.145848175925926,5.517592592592597,79.5491666666667,71.87037037037038,8.733333333333334,23.685185185185183,9.188382445141503,1.7723851851851853,425,11,84,9,8,145,77,108,0.124,0.647,0.229,0.9317,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,2,3,5,2,0,3,0,12,1,1,2,1,22,27,6,0,6,4,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,5,0,0,2,4,2,0,0,5,0,18,3,11,17,1,11,0,0,0,0,10,3,1,4,5,64,27,1,0.17560505759581072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4925010717353839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402063493766688,0.0,0.0,0.11325073470534727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319709687425817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13567203189134372,0.0,0.09174639476234334,0.0,0.09980040105183956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733736387484969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441544508407827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895238415569633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540495000339388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33232350289963625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18628921547201366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354374461262969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671785361271385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33749128956109165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802560681096144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035764127401667,0.139387120976932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20193714986132602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12474479456082367,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lovelylightsromero,2018/01/03,"Denial Stage? First time posting, I just want to say thank you to everyone, I read through this subreddit and I don't feel so alone, I also feel like it's a safe place. Saying that, I'm 22 and I got married straight out of High School, after infidelity, emotional and physical abuse, and irreconcilable differences, i'm divorced. Did anyone go through a denial stage, or a stage where you feel nothing, or a stage where you just feel empty? I feel like i'm crazy...",4.243434991974318,5.9861022359550615,4.880930979133229,82.71426966292137,71.58426966292134,8.231781701444623,28.4446227929374,8.841846274778883,2.2043117174959868,365,14,71,7,7,117,57,89,0.098,0.726,0.17600000000000002,0.6051,0,1,0,0,2,0,17.0,0,3,0,1,6,4,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,16,14,8,0,1,4,0,5,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,0,1,5,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,7,9,4,7,12,0,15,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,2,5,38,12,2,0.0,0.2235755839204568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19543361655262775,0.0,0.15090125674402052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194162187519645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971486392772968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212259196911686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030846904321235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.477055420509565,0.26961094578792283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16050592708230005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724109100111566,0.0,0.15091856275567928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19936918198582296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843760536072209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810602614612464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1971486392772968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071996535324303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18874848188086998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001195205974644,0.0,0.19097186076626968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173727229901935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100309817135154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112986259290447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DRandCR90,2018/01/03,"Looking for impartial views Greetings r/divorce.

I'm 27M and have been married around 2.5 years with 2.5 years dating the same s/o. I am trying to determine whether or not I should pull the trigger on a divorce or work towards reconciliation. I am trying to approach this as logically as possible, but, as you all know, these are emotionally convoluted situations.


Necessary background: when we were dating, she came forward and told me she had made out with a guy at this conference after we had been dating over a year. She says this was in response to her feeling like we were nearing the end of the relationship and she felt like she didn't want to get married to someone who handled money irresponsibly. Her perception of my irresponsible money handling was that I had just bought a car as I was about to graduate from school, so I had about 50K in student loans and a 15K car note. I had told her that paying off my debt was a priority, but when I took out the car note she lost it. Previously I had been driving a Ford Taurus that finally blew up. Her story on the first offense is that she got drunk with some of her co-workers, followed this guy up to his hotel room, and made out with him only and realized it was a mistake - no sex.


Because she was honest about it, I believed it was something that we could move past. I asked her what the solution was, and she said she simply didn't need to be out partying and getting drunk with co-workers. She works in a male dominated industry (probably 9:1 ratio if not higher) and she constantly vents about the character of these guys. I agreed that if we were going to be serious and look at the prospect of getting engaged/married that neither one of us probably needed to be out getting irresponsibly shitfaced with other singles. Bear in mind that this was in no way ""you don't get to do anything without me there"" ultimatum. 


We proceed to date and the behavior appears to go away. We get engaged and get married. Shortly after we get married, the partying starts again. I didn't ignore the partying and brought it up to her. The short version is that I told her that I feel like she's putting me in a situation where I have to be this controlling and jealous spouse when in reality that's not who I am as a person. I told her that I trust her to make better judgement calls, etc, and asked not leave me the position of regulating the changes she said she was going to make.


About a month after the 7th or 8th time we had the conversation above, she comes home and tells me that the night before she got wasted, made out with another co-worker at the exact same conference the first incident happened three years before. That night she had texted me saying she would be home at 8, then 10, then she was on her way home, etc.. Since the confession I have been separated and trying to wrap my heard around the whole thing.


Over the last two months, she's seen a counselor once (who she fired the same day), been on a couple of vacations, but has kept a dialogue open. She has written some apologies that appear sincere, however she's also made some verbally abusive comments about my character and my family too. Our sex life has sucked during our marriage.


We just bought a house together. When things were great they were great. Other than the things I have noted above, there was not a great deal of strife in our marriage. We had our finances in order, had a good surrounding group of friends, and still had date nights. I just can't understand how in light of all of the great things, she would do this a second time especially after I had been patient in trying communicate and be a partner in fixing whatever issues our relationship had the first time this happened.


In the spirit of fairness - the baggage I brought into the marriage is as follows

> I did bring debt into the marriage that we worked on paying off 

> Seasonally my work requires some long hours (I'm home every night, no travel, still pick up the phone when she calls, emotionally available to her)

>An awful divorce went through my immediate family and didn't leave anyone unscathed. Since the divorce I've never had great relationships with my siblings or my parents and it still hurts to this day.

So the questions are:

> Can I believe that she only made out with these guys? Does it matter to what extent it went?

> Does drunk making out count as cheating?

> Do I need to suck up my pride and work on the marriage more?

> Do I need to GTFO and not look back?

TL;DR - my wife parties and has made out with two other guys at work conferences at different times in our relationship but has been seemingly forthcoming about it. Stay or go?

",7.8386329150860785,7.0841089541387054,7.7756949713062955,73.93017216224106,62.926174496644286,10.771675907012938,36.10144927536232,10.023610245241436,3.462504600719776,3711,149,690,67,46,1196,371,894,0.083,0.8079999999999999,0.109,0.977,6,0,1,0,4,0,108.0,19,2,1,14,30,26,5,0,55,1,77,6,0,13,4,137,148,55,0,12,22,3,4,3,2,3,1,5,5,8,50,63,3,4,11,5,10,26,18,10,0,8,71,15,108,16,120,67,17,138,2,2,5,2,112,58,2,15,55,503,158,13,0.0,0.05825344236330857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039317878581124927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05155463612288735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034377875841588926,0.0,0.040459270463209386,0.08753598505557436,0.09192678643491776,0.0,0.046192894687279815,0.03780547122648426,0.0,0.029971019977404,0.0,0.08367296208340387,0.11078605756967044,0.0,0.043483161412437764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040757326952067,0.05623258598313402,0.0,0.0,0.05201090529598657,0.04235198981630325,0.0,0.053130771551270786,0.05514363388602345,0.03925489671693592,0.05440103096981775,0.0,0.06341575704295885,0.05068778878064086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05136780454179952,0.0,0.0,0.08605065912085523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11060983204477456,0.04354631235598605,0.0,0.10966574375478497,0.0,0.0,0.041424313413765367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269829553629348,0.0,0.04971941918782148,0.07024812555811832,0.04720688553205875,0.053858739029044415,0.0,0.12546123250539784,0.0,0.0,0.037985380997001966,0.0,0.2054968418510912,0.0,0.11176824596078293,0.041237946765778494,0.07864477545248552,0.2710273822926991,0.0,0.24340939684667376,0.08695432259063758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972692550636053,0.0,0.04841841679627799,0.05673074085212315,0.052633013915950114,0.0,0.0,0.05131632946507754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027020242064492304,0.04007669527357429,0.0,0.10411898254967697,0.0,0.0,0.03472726391931222,0.0720597904094289,0.0,0.0,0.04351019257547948,0.12386068699736474,0.0,0.05367028688733799,0.0,0.0,0.2791312556299907,0.09845567507159006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0496434500879704,0.0,0.0784873571273286,0.05225547263488176,0.0,0.14582329345504472,0.03791970180330556,0.0,0.0,0.1845551194284251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052359980504310025,0.03331602365638816,0.07478562436428816,0.0,0.0,0.054592810967805334,0.0,0.04693432658907532,0.0,0.042929686789836836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0554270607798561,0.0,0.0,0.10601811245959793,0.0,0.0,0.049425216333378034,0.055076956644799516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21114271032523355,0.0,0.0,0.09353588378402093,0.07819724716205258,0.0,0.049758422136648085,0.0,0.04475870470787025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08134092823780648,0.11052885543630728,0.0,0.0,0.04165802923731399,0.03785024072079002,0.0,0.0,0.03479981168007546,0.05240420919143538,0.1177916323978073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04297308292021893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1306543116625199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11467591118906705,0.0,0.0,0.18792014449595928,0.054625021297331725,0.13352142415026216,0.0,0.09605569992381796,0.05118333964542288,0.05914041292638804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028999267169440738,0.0780510591987645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115439244781727,0.0,0.054891868382292666,0.0,0.047394084048325964,0.0,0.3221396415061172,0.0,0.0,0.06985195817779973,0.0,0.0,0.12664467254132247
divorce,ef_suffolks,2018/01/03,"another rant- God help me get a legal separation as soon as possible ... LEARN FROM MY FAIL TLDR: Even if you are going through an amicable divorce... get a legal separation ASAP.  LEARN FROM MY FAIL 


Not looking for advice, or I told you so's, just hoping others can learn from my fail


BACKGROUND:
I have been trying to be VERY generous in this divorce.  I let him have the house... in clear (no buy outs) with a 
No lawyers divorce and 
I paid the fees to get the document written up while I
Sent them via mail (instead of the embarrassment of being served)....
Trying to make this clean.
Let him have time with the papers. 
Long story short is fiddle farting around with getting teh papers back or in or anything 

I just got a phone call.


From a doctors office

apparently STBX went to a dr. appt for 300 bucks worth of services 1 week after we separated.  He didn't tell me, his wife at the time, he even went to the doctor.  If this same doctor visit was last week I wouldn't care but it really shows where is head was at with the separation two weeks in even though he was ""trying to work on the marriage"".  

He also... didn't pay the bill and since we are not legally divorced I'm stuck with the bill potentially but luckily the debt collector was a sweetheart and was willing to go directly to him. She said other debt collectors may not be so nice. 
IMMEDIATELY NOTED WONDERFULLY SWEET DEBT COLLECTOR 

Unfortunately, he still has the papers.
He says he will meet me tonight to give me the papers


plus plus that means I have to pay the 350 buck legal fee on top of the 250 buck fees for the damn papers.

 The entire cost of this divorce is on my back despite the fact he makes almost 2 x as much as me 


**I'm deciding to treat it like the old vaudeville joke
""If you let a man borrow 40 bucks and then you never see him again .... it was a good investment**
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divorce,vinditive,2018/01/03,"STBXW spreading lies and smears about me - how to respond? Going through a nasty divorce right now with a diagnosed borderline who I believe may also have NPD. STBXW and I work together at the same company, and live in a smallish community. I've recently been made aware of public accusations she's making about me. Saying that I'm emotionally abusive to my kid among a host of other things, as well as generally spreading disparaging rumors about my job performance at work and on social media. 

What do I do about this? Do I try to defend myself or just ignore it? It's a small community and people I work with (and clients) are being exposed to this. I've contacted my lawyer about it, but beyond that does anyone have any advice? This could seriously harm me professionally. ",5.048123543123541,7.3327611258741285,6.0561013986014025,72.86825466200469,70.60839160839159,8.962470862470862,29.39918414918415,9.516144504307137,3.0593547785547783,623,25,103,15,12,206,97,143,0.151,0.838,0.011,-0.949,1,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,4,11,4,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,3,0,19,14,12,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,12,8,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,1,13,1,22,9,1,11,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,2,2,77,25,6,0.0,0.24877438423128864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517552710106834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16790906488061466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278351075685408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681252380473467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365588378573334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764009752270914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21311022057068515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374192894882715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361825476789059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11932804070227035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20835802598218187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854030855452618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19867411384314226,0.14015337661508984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14556340684744454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731526793801355,0.0,0.0,0.17930910185206375,0.0,0.16697272489062764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21403304199906045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949152450207314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425525631065024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887838972132677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4585714177047461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Divorce_t_away,2018/01/03,"I don't even know what I want to get out of this post. Catharsis, maybe? Married 15 years.  I earn good money and she used to, but not any more.  She lost her job last year and though she's employed, doesn't make near what she used to.

Debt: 2 car notes, a boat, a credit card, and a house.
Also, two kids aged 11 and 14

As it stands, we're barely making ends meet due to her earning power being cut in half.

Sex and intimacy are our biggest issues apart from the nit-picking stuff.  Basically, she says I'm not affectionate enough and I say she doesn't initiate sex often enough.

In 15 years, we have had sex fewer than 150 times and she initiated it only twice of those times.

I will admit that I am not a very affectionate person.  I feel like I'm working on it and try to do things, but it's never enough to trigger her to actually want to have sex with me.

We've done counseling to work on things, but it hasn't helped.  The counseling was brought on due to my cheating multiple times.  In a counseling session and under the counselor's guidance, I recounted each event of infidelity and we moved on.  this was 5 years ago.

Her chief complaint is that every time I touch her, I want it to lead to sex.  She's not necessarily wrong in that I do pretty much want to have sex all the time.  That said, I am able to comfortably go without it and happily cuddle or whatever else.  In my mind, exploring each other's bodies is a part of intimacy and attraction naturally leads to sex.

This past weekend, I told her that I was tired of it and I felt like we should look into splitting up.  

How do I know if leaving her is the right decision?
",3.324909090909088,4.621888339393941,4.683454545454548,84.99518181818183,73.18181818181819,7.946666666666667,25.32121212121212,8.488131031819089,1.5187066666666669,1272,40,270,22,25,423,184,330,0.092,0.8029999999999999,0.105,-0.1029,4,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,4,0,0,8,5,12,2,0,11,0,24,10,1,8,2,55,46,22,0,6,10,0,3,2,0,2,1,3,0,2,23,21,0,0,7,1,3,7,10,4,0,3,10,7,38,8,39,33,9,45,0,1,1,8,28,17,0,3,21,175,61,10,0.10978801899016546,0.0,0.10713726942226556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732045460477168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08779743912111658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465961770490147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194973916086616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11235126101297377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171380217538497,0.0,0.09723959801481294,0.34032111541267,0.0,0.07251395110753693,0.0,0.09250114111764626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551212116230023,0.07843258270325766,0.10541371529104164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05735970858898351,0.0,0.06239506125800151,0.0920849814716706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07358859489699064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12668063349306005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459016800291467,0.10894766827850176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206732480645054,0.08949188868868282,0.0,0.11624965997207065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727376094310193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219428513259384,0.0,0.11984659182161553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465687103877489,0.0,0.11029682158833913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085460213392996,0.0,0.0,0.11668728942076455,0.08070682632914136,0.0,0.0846752884618975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349873567963012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1188897258020008,0.1048050868994022,0.0,0.09586266346091006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514657398107036,0.11169388481829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375836834605702,0.10443354726302292,0.1746156785387984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12568101519032773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458765628775346,0.0,0.10786617123361862,0.0,0.3200913838251335,0.12618517735916673,0.0,0.1049071570072955,0.0,0.07453885821948397,0.0,0.10724694173029772,0.0,0.0,0.18964319688219114,0.0,0.09058661359838148,0.25902327243955003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583173251192557,0.0,0.15985397078767166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003596395378865,0.0,0.2827995387522857
divorce,RestingBitchFaceMcGe,2018/01/03,"Very practical advice needed Married 6 years; together 11 years. 2 todder-age children (insert all the tears here). STBX is the overwhelming breadwinner, but I work full time as well (far over minimum wage, but in our city with our kids' school, I will very barely tread water on my own). We just moved into a new home a little over a year ago = no equity.

What is your *extremely practical advice* for getting on your own feet after separating/divorcing? As said above, STBX out earns me by like 3x. I'm talking something as little as taking all of the toilet paper from hotel rooms to legal, technical stuff. I want it ALL. And want to be as informed as I can be before seeking an attorney.

I have my intimacy issues and daily struggle with not becoming my controlling mother (ha.), but STBX is a master gaslighter and high-functioning alcoholic with a penchant for any uppers and downers he can get his hands on. After several years of feeling like I'M the one losing their grasp on reality, I've really taken to r/divorce and r/alanon and these subs have been a blessing.

I've read many, many times that I don't need to leave the house and I need to stay until a divorce is final, but I LITERALLY don't see how to do that. But that's a post for another day.",5.8328825136612,6.261176086065575,6.858098360655736,74.86613661202189,66.82786885245902,10.113224043715846,30.610928961748645,10.047579312681364,3.024212896174864,991,35,181,22,15,333,160,244,0.046,0.8640000000000001,0.091,0.8162,1,0,2,0,2,0,38.0,3,2,1,5,4,8,0,2,14,1,15,4,2,2,3,33,29,20,0,5,7,1,2,2,0,1,1,1,2,2,7,13,2,1,3,2,1,1,4,3,1,1,3,4,19,5,34,23,6,31,1,2,1,0,15,15,0,0,15,114,26,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473783671204953,0.1122025141536774,0.13527188551079522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08607642500502274,0.13272659613324092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13979390441110173,0.1077073594239341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196641416813915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163143226791078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0640009295652042,0.09042634466321384,0.0,0.13865847266023226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132262093122008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373512201284374,0.12696664507495528,0.0,0.0,0.14605239597601485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211307940796346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340263377452093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367786124117065,0.2537260018399586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160683261559964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566576004232343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453088866012805,0.0,0.2815648237399899,0.0,0.12224846406992312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08577157650898147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12122538887876595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12661084828984326,0.0,0.08108820784987897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12040332746579195,0.0,0.0,0.12810227160591448,0.1008651581809342,0.0,0.0,0.14299552360286266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744484670048892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491380857493232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232533967874832,0.14489991793616092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951698466873685,0.10173747231680552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14761566073633525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20887789387510225,0.14931631027649078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380756002214855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214926858215604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3260447084671858
divorce,lovely-dark-and-,2018/01/03,"He wants me to move out Just decided to get divorced last night. He wants me to move out. At first he offered to help me pay for rent in a new apartment (I'm a sahm) while I look for a job, now he wants to fly me out of state to live with my parents on the other side of the country. I've been crying all night, I don't want to leave my 8 & 11 year old behind. Please tell me it gets better. ",1.8101498127340816,1.9582046404494409,3.4534269662921337,96.72298689138576,75.62921348314606,6.382771535580527,21.5749063670412,5.46131890053228,-0.20565318352059947,299,6,79,1,6,100,61,89,0.065,0.8320000000000001,0.103,0.5149,3,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,11,10,1,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,9,1,19,9,1,20,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,9,42,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014073318804219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440100280667153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418697002246985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811448054271887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19423545676384493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12459542328612642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446310687407255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15152184611554975,0.0,0.1968263643484886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16414068535398355,0.0,0.15609736803287044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3951346601424361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17952979343367814,0.0,0.3488827136940815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19505601840525896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064043316449168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20404693508811692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247249961355034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385613601637496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11970444701819985
divorce,doubleindiapaleale,2018/01/03,"divorce animal help... 25 years old. no kids, no house, no morgage, just $1,400 debt on a credit card i opened up to buy groceries and decorate our house when i moved to a new state without a job. i moved to missouri to live a life with my wife and found out she still loves her ex. i moved back home a few weeks ago, two week notice and left.

neither of us has filed for divorce yet, atleast i dont think she has and she holds it over my head by saying ""have fun filing for divorce!"" sarcastically. anyways, if i get to the filing of divorce first, is there any way i can get my kitty back? hes a 3 year old siamese, declawed and found as a stray. i bought and adopted him and hes rightfully mine. 
i adopted a cat while i was there through an adoption agency called Second Chance. I had to leave my cat there because i didnt have a carrier and i didnt want to leave him in a uhaul truck/hotel for 4 days while i drive back to los angeles. (i moved from LA to mid MO) i left him there. 

i dont know if there is actually any chance of my getting my kitty back, but i really miss him and is going to be treated poorly by her and his new owners.

thank you
",2.8491755062680824,3.4883936475409847,4.177319189971069,90.67742044358728,73.59016393442623,7.0526518804243015,25.008678881388626,7.048011613610866,0.7805494696239146,886,26,206,8,17,293,143,244,0.064,0.878,0.057,0.4752,2,0,0,0,4,0,32.0,2,1,0,1,14,6,0,0,12,0,17,3,1,0,0,24,30,17,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,1,13,0,1,4,0,5,7,9,1,0,3,7,1,40,5,28,22,2,39,1,1,0,1,27,10,0,2,20,133,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.10354512394513037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405745161126236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431279442974995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263589275207398,0.0,0.06468184114099887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10834710844790676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843023570738241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487132228621109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09025455830761676,0.0,0.23268169316143256,0.0,0.0,0.1663095811755456,0.0,0.06030305220921645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889639183407536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112128413059339,0.0,0.1064339704458443,0.0,0.0,0.24486645902439802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052948229524876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831363117186141,0.0,0.0,0.22470398051578,0.23057112761852036,0.0,0.07494651065542601,0.0,0.0,0.09369442321843993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576570840322213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4510997866960149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204957599756798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080352051365326,0.22268289059903826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06797485995400937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0906147965468688,0.0,0.08438054364537202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08473718567956727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976890678483488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798907991584907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365111911179622,0.0,0.12763365400315765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625846565673545,0.08422279615087143,0.17022526706594304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228335965036103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366588557354326
divorce,fastornator,2018/01/03,"How do i find a lawyer? Stupid question, but how exactly do I go about finding a lawyer? I'm a 52 year old male who wants to divorce his wife of 25 years and I don't really how to proceed. Do I do it internet search for divorce lawyers in Los Angeles? I did this and didn't get very good results. Can anyone suggest a better route?
",0.9297142857142866,2.9119188285714306,2.975714285714286,91.53928571428571,82.14285714285714,6.2857142857142865,25.714285714285715,7.447530270364453,1.2781428571428566,258,11,57,4,7,87,50,70,0.101,0.84,0.059,-0.4106,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,4,1,12,12,6,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,0,6,2,6,10,0,6,1,0,0,0,8,1,0,1,4,33,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074024822252133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623348706445957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5422076883945229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497087169431012,0.0,0.16857507247569034,0.24878944122390426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3112511145504824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322804926685635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19002134259334733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447412446560618,0.1749532176266117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3820250495799041
divorce,rabidoverlord,2018/01/03,"Any decent custody calendar apps for Android? Looking for something that will simplify making custody calendars, and that will keep track of days missed / holidays etc.

We're in the separation process right now, and this is feeling a little overwhelming at the moment.

Thanks for any advice.",7.825624999999999,10.765353645833335,6.789999999999999,67.75500000000001,64.625,9.8,39.08333333333333,10.125756701596842,4.950983333333333,237,13,31,6,4,72,40,48,0.043,0.82,0.13699999999999998,0.5859,0,0,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,9,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,6,7,1,7,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,19,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.311595488276423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4336842544597238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564438428711765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35562367152006696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122995013788766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834257748409792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31959090987627586,0.0,0.0,0.26776998759364945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284780128019928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2723127262467247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454812434983077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29357210305632314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Vivaciousbeans,2018/01/04,"I'm scared to be alone I just caught my husband cheating, a week ago today, it's devastating - everything about it. The double life, the lies, nothing about our relationship is safe from the devastation of it. We weren't even married two years and he cheated the entire time. I can't understand why he'd get married, I can't understand any of it. It's so out of left field, well, the last couple of weeks he was acting weird, that's how I caught him. But I assumed holiday stress or a bought of depression. Not a multitude of relationships behind me back. 

I love him, but I know he has to leave. I can't erase all the hurt and betrayal. I can do it, but I'm scared of the alone time, the time with my thoughts, the time where things slow down and I'm left...just me. I have two sons from another marriage, so not only am I dealing with a divorce, but my second. I'm 31, I didn't want this, I wanted to be married forever, I couldn't have imagined that I'd introduce this man into my son's lives and he'd do this.  He says he wants to stay in their lives, I'm not counting on it, since he's lied about so much. 

I'm not rebounding, I'm not bringing any more men into my sons lives at this point in their lives. If and when I date again, it will be casually, when they are with their dad. But oh man, I'm so scared.",2.1639229249011858,3.464154713768117,3.753451910408433,90.49701581027672,76.1376811594203,7.337022397891962,23.77733860342556,8.00094639256281,1.01687536231884,1015,31,235,16,22,338,141,276,0.172,0.79,0.037000000000000005,-0.9861,0,2,0,0,1,0,43.0,2,0,4,0,16,13,2,4,13,0,22,2,0,1,1,38,43,19,0,5,13,5,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,15,12,0,1,6,2,1,4,11,9,1,3,7,1,32,4,28,29,4,32,0,2,0,1,31,11,0,3,16,145,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10002262307595666,0.0,0.0,0.2337288741309001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1534651853203784,0.11831875958685704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08676419421236943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12485128377693112,0.0,0.0,0.1163293303133909,0.0971857896737054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745273501735358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141004270338336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058952339826629924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12079365481329345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06201191134754337,0.09197669171414563,0.0,0.11947741067708124,0.2451940659130521,0.0,0.0796996565155529,0.0,0.0,0.3985462849505924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183921838331536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08294770613597813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826952856850898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581713474438585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666683010031862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422880410012054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973200068047309,0.3389066360027374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09333940123057367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202685441107823,0.0,0.0,0.12925366668056976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496346232439571,0.0,0.0,0.08957946418779378,0.26318315066837283,0.0,0.10695567363083787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204494517067884,0.2349332558152123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996614220438376,0.0,0.18102104016288445,0.0,0.10145343680711626,0.0,0.10181726238502456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266291496877003
divorce,cyber_peach,2018/01/04,"Just got served Just got served my divorce papers, and it crushes me seeing our names on documents like this. It isn't what I wanted. I love my husband and can't imagine him being an ex. It hurts so bad. ",1.650714285714287,3.6407957380952425,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,79.71428571428572,5.152380952380953,22.404761904761905,5.985473137389443,0.3160761904761906,159,5,33,1,4,52,33,42,0.281,0.669,0.051,-0.9073,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,7,8,3,0,1,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,1,7,2,1,5,0,1,0,1,1,1,7,1,0,0,1,22,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3290710135380218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6304223164417113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219101188005672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254553033283384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557057429305709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140600133144626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324602629848708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sadsack2018,2018/01/04,"I need get divorced but I'm a ""nice guy"" and find it really hard to say no or to ""hurt"" people How do I grow a fucking spine? How do I stay strong? My spouse is a fast-talking person who is very hard to say no to. I'm the quintessential nice guy who never says no to anything. The saddest part, I enjoy taking care of my spouse and our two children. I love them all so much. But I can't allow my spouse to keep abusing me, I have to end this. I've spent two years working on my own mental health after having suicidal thoughts and issues with self-harming. Clearly, I cannot continue in this relationship.

We live in Oregon, married for 13 years, 2 children under the age of 10. I work, spouse does not. Spouse runs our finances with an iron fist. We are in massive credit card debt (I can't say no to her..)

I currently feel like my next steps needs to be this:

* Grow a fucking spine

* Redirect my paycheck into an account only I control

* Get a lawyer, file for divorce

* ?? Duck and cover ??

P.S. She knows I'm unhappy and sad, but it pushing to have a third child. She does not realize that I'm emotionally out the door already. 

Edit: sorry for the typo in the title, I'm a little shaky right now :-(

Edit2: I no longer have suicidal thoughts, nor do a self-harm. I go to the gym regularly and am doing much better mentally.",0.9603370786516834,3.271068910112362,2.9956067415730345,89.43745505617979,84.61797752808988,5.507565543071163,22.008614232209734,6.88968998030894,0.6957391760299627,1017,35,209,13,30,342,159,267,0.197,0.6729999999999999,0.13,-0.9549,2,0,0,0,2,0,53.0,4,0,1,5,5,14,2,1,17,0,16,6,2,4,3,35,37,14,2,2,6,5,3,1,0,0,1,4,1,6,8,12,0,2,6,1,5,6,12,5,0,3,3,7,29,9,27,33,5,27,0,2,0,3,29,10,2,2,11,128,37,6,0.0,0.1312890606030609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227910406063268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09118533422748676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09800044739477913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297588286507035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428031026875687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939372119812636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124643800893795,0.09814277422935387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602772620876357,0.07916107649168125,0.0,0.0,0.10127627317136252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20487995286531815,0.11578494861841328,0.0,0.06297459610166127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21943418110573895,0.0,0.0,0.19852395264008388,0.0,0.0,0.11778345330009632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862198478566365,0.0,0.0,0.1156544989573137,0.0,0.09849101671070642,0.0,0.0,0.060897039797066226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05413506799652098,0.11105847258554646,0.09784527056256667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000831775743284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22333629313372869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629128872783284,0.16432508050216052,0.08546176545336479,0.0,0.11784529586384668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427428466944181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199939917048823,0.0,0.07682013967086952,0.096753050497344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098628002806942,0.0,0.0,0.11896605147769028,0.0,0.0946292103685778,0.0,0.3524750711768292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311932924770469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12404020063723988,0.0,0.11810631470464532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424113804625811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331363543864605,0.08906306959698695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759379473105066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164861353585991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142799587914126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613387188446654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427131119963237
divorce,FinancialWriter,2018/01/04,"Question about unreimbursed medical expenses - Pennsylvania Father/husband/plaintiff (employed and carries medical insurance for himself and wife) filed for divorce in April 2017.

Mother/wife/defendant (stay at home mom who babysits in her home under the table) has refused to sign or even engage an attorney for herself. 

However, she did file for alimony pendente lite and child support in October. So plaintiff has had his wages garnished to cover these since then.

Here is the question:

The final court order states “The monthly support obligation includes cash medical support in the amount of $250 annually for unreimbursed medical expenses incurred for each child and or spouse as ordered herein. Unreimbursed medical expenses of the obligee and/or children that exceed $250 annually shall be allocated between the parties. The party seeking allocation of unreimbursed medical expenses must provide documentation of expenses to the other party no later than March 31 of the year following the calendar year in which the final medical bill to be allocated was received.”

Defendant has run up all sorts of medical expenses for herself in the past three months and has not paid anything except copays at medical visits. There is now about $800 in unreimbursed medical expenses that have been incurred by her. She has not paid shit, and based on past experience, she will likely not pay them and they will go to collections.

Although plaintiff/husband carries the health insurance, these bills are in her name. Am I interpreting the court order correctly, in thinking that it directs her to provide him with all of her medical bills from 2017 by 3/31/18, or else she will be fully responsible for 100% of the bills? In other words, she is a lousy record keeper and lacks common sense. Without a lawyer to interpret this order for her, I don’t think she realizes she must provide copies of all her medical expenses from 2017 to her soon to be ex husband by March 31 in order to effect the 60/40 split of the expenses. 

Is my thinking correct?


",12.629352380952374,10.885661325714288,11.580857142857145,53.592809523809535,54.31428571428572,15.161904761904767,50.47619047619048,13.662883650711644,7.208133333333333,1664,95,231,51,15,536,186,350,0.022,0.906,0.07200000000000001,0.942,3,0,0,0,1,0,42.0,0,0,2,1,8,6,1,0,21,0,27,14,1,1,7,40,37,15,0,3,8,5,0,1,0,6,13,0,2,3,11,10,0,1,9,0,18,5,6,1,0,1,6,0,25,5,58,21,6,46,0,0,0,0,38,16,1,6,19,171,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059272522418267484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06016976135167933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04757350616065575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045674815845482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1578052831882636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04093490681193215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656189929417928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14449897649322274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035189014314880834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8707219403728291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435777598364412,0.1149833791271758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375168604420052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613746422060359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07393522743981346,0.05958191951189756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767717664839116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452079722485059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13845700417924758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943197138964971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09276673932103607
divorce,tokyo31,2018/01/04,"Yesterday I was told he wants divorce I don’t know what to do
We always fought but got back 
I do love him and I don’t want that... 
but he says it doesn’t matter and nothing will make him change his mind... and if I fight on that I need a lawyer... 
I don’t know what to do... really... ",-1.7177380952380972,0.1349153809523802,0.7796626984127002,103.49901785714287,93.6031746031746,4.419841269841268,12.636904761904766,5.985473137389443,-1.2849666666666666,211,3,57,2,8,71,40,63,0.085,0.774,0.141,0.5187,0,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,1,0,9,1,0,1,0,15,19,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,4,1,11,1,3,14,0,3,0,0,0,1,12,1,0,1,2,36,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470036466667976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282599424745466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3140287864629013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23741870340888996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32628287383804155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679194377456034,0.0,0.1981502147621269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997346863747038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22011110757018887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848363496847975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901702244297456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23606767168628576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836536616319618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501805871560417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bhgrove,2018/01/04,"What are some of the hidden costs (financial) of divorce? I know there are legal fees, first and last months rent if you're the one moving out, etc. But what are some things that came up you didn't plan for?",1.875,3.920788642857147,1.9907142857142863,99.49178571428571,79.23809523809524,5.152380952380953,15.261904761904766,5.985473137389443,-0.9217809523809524,161,2,37,1,4,48,35,42,0.0,0.953,0.047,0.2168,1,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,2,0,5,4,3,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,3,3,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351213154140028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.424290487838752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236015533625784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2090795410588621,0.31010888188770264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3036630939119088,0.4043468674424805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577955785650624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527470280850949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SoNotHavinIt,2018/01/04,"Best practice suggestions please for sane shared custody in currently one here one week there... Two teenagers who are currently one week here and one week there. This is not awesome but we’re just a couple months in and nothing’s finalized (i.e., no custody agreement). 

We’re in separate households and living as single parents with no other siblings but these to worry about ATM. 

This seems cumbersome so far... 
so much stuff to haul back and forth just for instance. 

What shared arrangements have worked well for folks out there?

Or perhaps tweaks to this one that made life go more smoothly? 

Thank you!",4.87073916737468,7.919077841121499,3.422327952421412,87.85153780798643,74.32710280373831,6.507731520815634,28.418861512319456,7.686295010490155,1.9050448598130845,487,20,83,7,11,138,78,107,0.096,0.7709999999999999,0.133,0.5303,3,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,1,0,2,12,6,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,14,7,10,0,0,6,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,3,0,1,6,1,1,1,6,13,6,4,14,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,8,58,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047651387818038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807287820121376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18775210682596305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858805162957868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643532154299596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985281986235788,0.0,0.0,0.14983407139174398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1605590935540156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354401414564504,0.0,0.12473725629634498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628163642282655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5749113133555249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884139894783198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626206521147246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447393106145654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424757132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15622221967317354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657566015922119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083307833397943,0.0,0.15256628469518646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235319652070773,0.17232232788881188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,huter753,2018/01/04,"Emotions around separation I never knew that separation and divorce would be so hard. I thought I made the right choice. There is a saying, something like marry someone you could see yourself divorcing amicably. I thought he was a good man. Now he makes all sorts of wild accusations, is fighting for more custody (I think to hurt me rather than for the well being of the children) and breaks agreements. He calls me names, tries to bully and intimidate me, and tries to waste my time with nonsensical arguments. I was reading a post on this sub-reddit about it getting easier. I long for that. I can't imagine dating again. I just don't trust men or my judgement. (And I was super cautious - he was my first boyfriend and I met him late 20s). Life seems so short. I'm in my mid 40s now. Part of me feels like I've wasted my life and the one thing I longed for - a good partner - will never be mine. I'm not asking any questions here, just saying that when I read your posts about moving on, I feel hope. ",2.6381943319838044,4.956349148717956,3.4198110661268544,88.82404858299599,78.02564102564101,5.951417004048582,24.109311740890693,7.0608816371341465,0.8971538461538464,784,27,157,9,19,248,128,195,0.136,0.743,0.12,-0.3112,0,0,1,0,3,0,29.0,0,2,0,2,15,11,1,0,8,0,14,2,0,2,3,33,30,11,0,4,5,0,3,2,1,2,2,2,0,4,6,9,0,0,9,2,0,1,5,2,1,2,9,6,27,9,18,15,3,23,0,1,1,0,21,7,0,5,14,101,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712867825485864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714817062629585,0.13352591759072988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584446899341005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403740535995135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066350071740385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444373577408182,0.10203712963269262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12149035003493387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462230388525111,0.0,0.0,0.2395965265404601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12794680914211348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186151269550973,0.0,0.0,0.15290149370485132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611174334510415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20176881886432527,0.13955815649920114,0.0,0.0,0.25279849817456346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514833735878992,0.0953395259117876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15180471771739254,0.0,0.0,0.2203171969527256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09678468706927278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466998466123666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273581571075674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000126751539,0.0,0.28573548091481066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197526149650828,0.0,0.22716684843050464,0.0,0.0,0.11381629169089807,0.13002623822866027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210186235079997,0.10995681061583967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09488930010772424,0.09151911296686846,0.0,0.2267806848093904,0.08328479032558125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394315160039946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842050398488036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146168677182413,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,shelegume,2018/01/04,"Insomnia...so angry I moved into my own apartment about a week ago but we’ve been unofficially separated for a few months because he’s verbally abusive and can’t control his anger. He still wants to try to work things out and I’m on the fence. Well, i *was*.   

He and I have been casually hanging out still but that all stops now. I still get notifications via my UPS account when packages are delivered to his apartment and I noticed he’d been shopping a lot. Took a stab at his Amazon password and guessed it the first try (same as the Netflix pw which I have access) and was completely floored at what I saw.   

He lied to me about spending over $500 on a PlayStation and headphones (told me that he traded some graphics cards to a friend for it). Lost his job in Nov and had to be more careful with money, but then apparently bought Guitar Hero and lied about that too, saying it was a Christmas gift from his parents. Soon after (while I didn’t know about these lies) he asked for my engagement ring so he could sell it because he needed money. Luckily I won that battle. 

He’s still unemployed and I see that he’s bought expensive new gadgets for the kitchen, an $18 box of surprise chocolates (is that REALLY necessary when you’re tight on money?!) and more. I’m so fucking pissed. Can’t wait to unhitch my wagon from him, he’s absolute shit with money.  

Any advice on how to proceed regarding communication with him would be helpful, he’ll want to know why I’m suddenly stop talking to him and he’d be pretty pissed if he finds out I got into his Amazon account again (did a few months ago for another large purchase that he lied about and he changed the pw when I confronted him).",3.244963016980936,5.286236069486408,4.226333993124285,85.09108761329307,75.01208459214502,7.1032815918324825,27.727992499218665,7.990435384864732,1.7985221585581828,1333,54,261,21,29,431,185,331,0.161,0.705,0.134,-0.9368,5,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,6,20,16,7,0,14,0,22,5,3,2,1,45,46,26,0,6,4,1,1,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,15,21,1,6,3,4,14,3,3,8,1,1,17,5,30,8,42,21,9,44,0,1,2,1,34,17,4,4,24,165,45,4,0.0,0.15491289975030925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12776370026696304,0.231797283722024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891191814712493,0.13709881945790162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223007322508116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594033734253092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330449266746672,0.0,0.1383121723140411,0.0,0.1370849319332488,0.0,0.1466430116657595,0.10439022370375256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949968322428868,0.11121267427966107,0.0,0.0,0.10101421100003907,0.12087278046352767,0.0683095074925869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456970198923468,0.0,0.14403170999934511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763644024946056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974545627310818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1437094145976938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427249521203456,0.1111557670510818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20872078272220426,0.13896254822515347,0.0,0.0969466709768628,0.0,0.12627552120528351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885544653524135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517821281356594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301591743679966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375938125479526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397464783982588,0.0,0.0,0.10418781550879604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13420912360658582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176564245425631,0.21861940115822476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10508886504753613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686198387337693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493362333769198,0.14526386947772887,0.17753621206543665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423502493928354,0.0,0.10487673717181882,0.0,0.11755656047080044,0.0,0.1179781340014391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951848107657352,0.0,0.0,0.0928783686899846,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,noidea8786,2018/01/04,"I caved I’m not even sure if this is the right forum atm. But I posted not long ago about what was going on (here’s the link to it for anyone interested https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/7nbsp0/when_do_you_know_its_too_little_too_late/?st=JC0CYXFP&sh=c65a08bd)
And tonight I tried to officially call it quits, but he kept going on about me throwing the marriage away and that I owe him a chance to work it out and he can’t let me go and it went around and around in circles to the point I just caved because I’m that weak and I couldn’t stand saying no any loner. So I agreed to trying and seeing what the year brings us.
I honestly just feel empty right now.
Has anyone been in this same situation, what was your outcome?",6.097064538514919,8.645383175572523,4.907980569049276,81.08620402498265,68.38931297709924,6.290353920888273,20.306037473976406,6.980632752743323,0.19803206106870208,600,11,110,5,11,176,85,131,0.103,0.812,0.086,-0.2963,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,1,1,0,2,10,4,0,0,6,0,8,1,0,0,1,23,19,11,0,2,7,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,11,10,0,1,2,0,2,6,5,1,0,0,5,3,13,3,16,12,1,24,0,0,1,0,8,11,0,1,5,74,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280519522618034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19899759485176013,0.0,0.1248963918769293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568413454517464,0.0,0.0,0.32699606399065023,0.0,0.0,0.1725564033749709,0.0,0.0,0.11195859120308324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875393372973488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130695458244813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286497643224677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31313787539871457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878067389942764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162535004394184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361986283295724,0.0,0.17589733395586551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953470409211828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31369252280331045,0.0,0.14605531668296973,0.0,0.0,0.14635475767214212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2064436737766652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173099169753626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24938875211059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22092265526495225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025642384084394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337080525746485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182722437523997
divorce,7ballcraze,2018/01/04,If anyone is struggling with divorce I can help them My parents were divorced when I was in 1st grade and I’ve learned to accept it.,1.5611111111111102,3.9955799259259273,2.342222222222226,94.30000000000004,83.07407407407408,3.6,27.51851851851852,3.1291,0.4883185185185188,106,5,21,0,3,33,25,27,0.096,0.722,0.182,0.3612,1,0,0,0,2,0,1.0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,4,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,1,3,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,15,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3870247146047535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710038355261363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6146036241926677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5786453226625468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,NStormrider,2018/01/04,"Do not want to be with one parent. So, I am in my late teens. One parent ( we'll only go into specifics of which if necessary) Has basically been (mostly emotionally and financially ) bad to me and the other parent as long as I have been around. This on top of being very...Narcissitic, shall we say. Needless to say I want to go with my good parent when the dust settles ,so what I want to know is how I could influence which parent the courts decide to let me be with. If it's relevant this is taking place under IL laws. Thanks in advance and sorry for any late replies.",3.24754385964912,4.7638304210526385,4.669298245614037,84.14675438596494,73.73684210526315,7.522807017543862,23.192982456140356,8.167268648758528,1.2147087719298244,444,12,90,7,9,148,76,114,0.07400000000000001,0.8590000000000001,0.067,0.281,5,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,2,5,3,0,0,3,0,15,0,0,2,0,22,23,11,0,6,3,5,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,7,9,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,1,0,2,2,2,11,2,20,14,1,15,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,3,4,68,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09109470947447834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119249287352826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184770876657613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695300808305236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150682529444103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15226062368564142,0.11235598161352284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07361874338298477,0.0,0.302216524618712,0.0,0.0,0.13697913982087573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185468914050848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18154417641759013,0.10187961446958768,0.0,0.0,0.7437117201988643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995556411685736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21305445962840044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14995283400174134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10071828069312352,0.0,0.0,0.12332873588432745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2370322519257327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,CAGirlnow,2018/01/04,"Divorce is final but I found missing assets. What should I do? I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this. During the divorce, we went to mediation twice and ended up with a court “trial”  Before and during the trial, my ex-husband said that he did not know of any missing assets including additional retirement accounts and a motorcycle, even though I suspected otherwise. 

We have now been divorced over a year. I recently got notification in the mail from a Trust company who has retirement funds for him and they are looking for him. They won’t tell me how much is in the account and I don’t have his new address or phone number. He won’t communicate with me in any case. 

While researching prior insurance, the insurance company told me that my ex husband had a motorcycle insured while we were still married (but living apart). They even gave me the VIN number. 

Do I have any recourse at this point? During the divorce I declared everything. My attorney insisted on this because (a) it’s the right thing to do and (b) there are severe penalties for hiding assets or not being completely truthful. 

I am checking with my attorney, waiting, to hear back, but I am wondering if anyone has an experience with this type of situation. ",5.704884685151594,7.523201841409692,6.7198497019953365,70.66766778958282,68.03083700440529,9.922674267945064,34.05778699144856,10.194018383442646,3.9544840114019175,986,47,160,26,17,329,133,227,0.08,0.861,0.06,-0.7619,0,0,0,0,4,0,28.0,3,0,3,0,8,4,0,0,15,0,25,0,0,1,1,33,39,17,0,3,9,2,0,0,0,3,0,2,1,0,10,15,0,1,5,0,4,1,5,2,0,1,10,3,27,2,21,25,1,22,0,2,1,0,25,10,0,6,11,125,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3298218052721311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22608573114717265,0.16564920342123662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243136376864645,0.0,0.0985520454498319,0.0,0.13756858405857866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950708321995406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505387397606372,0.0,0.14319092769332695,0.0,0.0,0.2135619673831853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529785496008266,0.15814350219771384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17710070930728378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726193623494635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1293016302186008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822129412825301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08884916582795452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427568679637755,0.0,0.13576141289835636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884546593347214,0.0,0.0,0.15614112346067088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15282965272285395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596288338182843,0.0,0.0,0.13806461582080404,0.15378443371001144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826401818220561,0.0,0.0,0.18172295758851853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12910923416943718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141306009080297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740583462699077,0.0,0.15883917088300012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15448185142904253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986897066302685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3506467081170685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10410966605141683
divorce,Lifes_Debris,2018/01/04,"How has your life improved since you divorced? How long did it take to know you made the right decision? I signed my lease for my apartment  yesterday. The same apartment complex that my STBXW was planning on moving into, but she backed out and lost her deposit.

So the leasing agent knew I was the husband and that we are divorcing. She happened to ask me how long were we married. When I said 25 years is coming to an end, my eyes started to water. I didn't cry, but I was close and I think she knew it.

She said,  ""it's going to get better, I promose. I see it all the time.""

I'm already feeling happier and I'm not moving out until February. I'm feeling optimistic, but I am scared at the same time. I have so many things I want to do and I will have the freedom to do it.

What about y'all? How long did it take to find your happy place? ",1.255405679513185,3.23965312068966,2.77877620013523,93.37031440162278,81.01149425287356,5.4734279918864095,23.453684922244765,6.522977012572876,0.549387153482082,649,23,142,6,17,212,102,174,0.037000000000000005,0.773,0.19,0.9804,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,2,5,0,3,9,4,0,1,8,0,16,3,1,5,1,35,39,16,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,10,12,1,0,9,0,1,4,2,2,0,0,13,6,29,2,16,25,3,26,0,1,2,0,18,10,0,0,12,99,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17547466888456395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486555790782208,0.0,0.0,0.1222710906244258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14063397167688588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697551748346615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466818370139445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14083821552020032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080338141769215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453348929658124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307766758970478,0.0,0.09037068503216007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14061456599722605,0.16927216923125749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738932114796702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1123155008008995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221641889565261,0.0,0.0,0.1735813441532627,0.0,0.0,0.15046183328325208,0.0,0.16121410382235007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3380110562243617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613461704210175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13579613200306287,0.3025153278549769,0.0,0.1591996344424544,0.0,0.12671267911976353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315370988032074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255013598842938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391157950407712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564109283320236,0.10188903383173202,0.0,0.0,0.18544337994674112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378991741366438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239908226929408
divorce,teamsters630,2018/01/04,Using my past against me I have court on the 10th. My wife wants alimony and child support.  She wants me to have certain visitation rights.  She’s using my pass suicide attempts against.  She said she would never do that. ,2.7736585365853657,5.6879161219512175,2.8616585365853666,89.15102439024393,82.90243902439025,5.231219512195122,27.71219512195122,6.742157984588678,1.4184790243902436,175,8,32,2,5,53,31,41,0.099,0.795,0.106,-0.1779,0,0,0,0,0,1,5.0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,2,8,10,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,10,2,4,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,2,22,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379658637071108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945373258000492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2634923542454611,0.2934931752328834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374938091800207,0.3501287050852749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5329607724047545,0.0,0.0,0.3639709876752071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21917869562418446,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chargerhellcat,2018/01/04,"Why do kids get sad that their parents divorce? My parents separated about a decade ago and when they did, I didn’t really give a shit I wasn’t sad about I just didn’t care. I see all these people saying oh my parents are divorcing and other people say I feel sorry for you. I don’t understand ",0.9177985948477776,3.263037360655741,3.0905386416861838,88.4260655737705,85.22950819672131,6.108665105386418,20.18969555035129,7.447530270364453,0.7661269320843087,233,7,48,4,7,79,42,61,0.194,0.7509999999999999,0.055,-0.8008,3,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,1,2,0,4,4,1,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,1,6,13,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,4,4,11,1,3,9,1,2,0,2,1,0,12,0,1,0,2,31,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18066925687555774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078024663764956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305473519116667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064846641690686,0.1955174402745631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6789356476239774,0.0,0.0,0.2825986234612395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056878773271455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241629419893727,0.0,0.0,0.1624137686275518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092126554597575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281536463232467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21217808250867926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18391088502284936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,VulnerableHolly,2018/01/04,"I had a dream about him last night and woke up missing our first few years of marriage I had a dream...well, actually a nightmare last night about my STBX. We were married 8 years. The first 3 were wonderful. Then, he suddenly snapped. He grew increasingly controlling and eventually abusive. 
I had to leave him to protect my daughter and I. I’ve spent hours upon hours asking why us? How did this happen? Where did my old husband go? 

I miss our first years of marriage. He was my best friend. I loved him dearly. I’m so sad that he changed and turned into a monster. 

Why is divorce so damn painful? I should be thrilled to be safe and free. It’s as if the old him died and a new man replaced him. I’m grieving the loss of our early marriage years, and I’m sad I lost that man. I’m happy to be free of the monster he became. I still hate this feeling of grief. 
I know with time things will get better. Those dreams though, they really got my heart. ",0.44192509061619134,2.8906135811518325,1.6697643979057624,96.17551248489731,91.19895287958117,4.404430124848973,20.958719291180024,6.093298490706669,0.10584236810310088,738,26,159,7,26,233,114,191,0.181,0.613,0.206,0.767,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,5,0,1,8,8,21,2,0,9,0,14,3,1,2,0,18,34,14,3,2,1,2,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,2,7,10,0,3,3,2,3,3,0,11,0,3,12,1,26,12,16,17,3,28,0,8,0,1,27,4,1,2,21,92,33,0,0.0,0.15569311096936428,0.12823205566730175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12284567899186905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790115124376304,0.11621680025126913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900877478384974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14738157199922464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363773578098154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06644217693319998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3353183743716308,0.0,0.0,0.10152296411765067,0.0,0.06865354497558375,0.0,0.07468033310673451,0.0,0.10509636216276927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11620076382728227,0.13988277259811854,0.0,0.12973496055330475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15571523111799354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25881436816073805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221660000672879,0.21422477750238855,0.0,0.13913862980854974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434437793391432,0.0,0.11859789416533018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269115016723407,0.0,0.24662886452211105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757743072342371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398238914969253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08418123126897377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10493998265829277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729945999341998,0.0,0.1291044745571377,0.0,0.0766231515337797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293060634438814,0.0,0.0,0.15806370403136455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371446501698825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425028182751904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3384813369943316
divorce,girlxyster,2018/01/04,"How do we make this work? My husband is military. We’re divorcing and I’m planning on moving back to our home state with our son. How do we make this work? How do we keep my sons father in his life? Do I let it be up to him and decide if he’s going to visit or not? Do I let him visit a couple times a year and let my son be confused about why he never sees his father anymore? How has everyone else dealt with a situation like this? 

Originally posted in r/divorceinfo but realized there’s not many people in there. ",1.3908256880733951,3.170088678899088,4.0334770642201825,85.55865596330277,79.64220183486239,6.928807339449541,20.99174311926605,7.908726449838941,0.8890396330275236,402,11,87,7,10,142,69,109,0.016,0.957,0.027000000000000003,0.264,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,5,0,0,3,8,2,0,1,3,0,12,1,0,7,1,25,18,10,0,1,5,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,8,0,1,2,0,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,1,14,1,11,13,0,16,0,0,1,0,20,5,0,3,6,60,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186762090264898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14480587679202492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837166506354748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15731656638178246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17994711087980256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702616796454473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888995594874605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16738679959871586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5777075676391208,0.1330154535119573,0.09200327177667857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514091195686465,0.1909261587184405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20015355678928287,0.0,0.0,0.14524341290244586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055685435761574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18035778250560386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15006605819003288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21167872404485644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098104674266316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.169928829352572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741973095687405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127142086472625
divorce,saphireblonde,2018/01/04,"Feeling like a terrible wife and mother... I (26F) have been with my husband (28M) for 8 years, married 6, we were married young, I was 19 and pregnant with our first child, though we planned to get married before we found out I was pregnant, I think I totally rushed into getting married, especially so young. Things were good in the beginning but when I was 18 we moved out together, i had no job and depended on him for everything, it started with little things, him getting mad when I would want to see my family and friends and once we had a child, the name calling started, we went on to have two more children all fairly close together. Things just got worse and worse, he threatens suicide, divorce, taking the kids away from me, he says things that are completely awful, terrible terrible names that I don't even want to post here, he thinks I'm sleeping around on him, tells me I put everyone before him even if I'm on the phone with my best friend. I don't see my friends anymore because he always has me on the clock. He thinks I should sit at home with him all the time and if I'm not then he says I'm a terrible wife and mother. If he texts me I have to text him back right away or else he freaks out that I'm ignoring him. My mom has serious mental health issues and he tells me all the time that I'm like her because he knows that's the one thing I don't want to be. Nothing I do is good enough for him. No one really knows what he's like because I'm too ashamed to tell anyone, I did tell his mom about it 2 years ago, I left for a couple days but they are religious and don't believe in divorce so no help there. I'm not saying I have been perfect in the relationship, and I'm not looking for pity as I definitely have checked out of our marriage, I'm basically only here because i work for his family business and would have a hard time supporting myself and three kids on my own. But 7 months ago I met someone else, it started out as friends, and then my feelings became more, I walked away from the friendship as I knew it was crossing the line of an emotional affair, plus being so emotionally vulnerable It just wasn't a good idea but he made me realize that I could actually have a happy life if I left. I want to leave my marriage and I told my husband a few months ago I don't love him anymore but he always talks me into staying. I just don't know how to leave, I'm miserable and I don't want my kids growing up thinking this is how you treat people, but I just don't know how to leave when I depend on him so much for everything and he knows it. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for from posting, advice, maybe just someone to say it's ok to leave, I feel like a terrible wife. ",5.225967128801432,4.878355422182473,5.999198904293383,83.1650416480322,68.12343470483006,9.27730322003578,31.601129248658317,8.841846274778883,2.3131095259391783,2127,79,457,32,32,700,236,559,0.13699999999999998,0.7140000000000001,0.149,0.7384,1,0,0,0,2,1,52.0,8,1,1,5,25,30,1,2,21,2,41,4,1,6,6,98,92,45,1,13,19,9,4,4,4,3,2,4,1,6,21,38,0,1,17,0,1,7,16,12,0,5,19,12,75,18,58,67,11,64,0,2,4,1,79,28,0,7,29,291,96,2,0.0,0.0,0.06310156776064403,0.0,0.0,0.06318774246622229,0.17195901931760715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107609263830979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12825624982525768,0.04521373516647542,0.0,0.0,0.05756360375604231,0.0,0.0,0.18225849525323898,0.0497217039166275,0.0,0.15767137750705845,0.0,0.1100465649962248,0.07285283550057557,0.06785962210615971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602795134050314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06779771842000702,0.0,0.0,0.05162798633415661,0.07154816133453352,0.0,0.041702158352279486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10803494869272123,0.1454738994324559,0.0,0.06681396069544777,0.0,0.08541834273131707,0.0,0.0,0.061788079089279385,0.11622951525668253,0.0,0.1219166711775502,0.0,0.0980863679077111,0.09239023840686704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055002146984468564,0.0,0.07089942562369217,0.19983328400045028,0.0,0.10135093673125646,0.0,0.0,0.1627082731174594,0.05171675041705048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06883475592521217,0.057925170193391676,0.0,0.0,0.06873353555218227,0.0,0.0,0.04334211364862358,0.0,0.06486206343894846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0729964335191271,0.0,0.06749116614537103,0.06416785409327702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21322191187160008,0.0,0.0,0.2738742861540562,0.1405126487730899,0.0,0.045673249887201534,0.12636391671344002,0.06480911588133473,0.0,0.0,0.10860093713065036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058360704084474586,0.06118550744135036,0.0,0.0,0.0649624766318136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06516489631649809,0.0,0.0,0.15146458612255584,0.10322646446871317,0.0687263259545051,0.0475346002172467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204570320217157,0.0,0.0,0.0688637745610716,0.08763437725711108,0.04917897530736665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04482904561932216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385818116598735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06500397674773332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0414246472260844,0.0,0.0,0.06942365077300619,0.0,0.05522168023526832,0.0,0.2056898244803861,0.0,0.0,0.10305576373777596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06470950145084768,0.0,0.10957716585936388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13730599380803046,0.06892194406973064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073061100877392,0.07337858226958656,0.0,0.0,0.04861838028142658,0.05197351146543418,0.2260725589207275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2147954644248564,0.1657332521256036,0.06353087538896028,0.0,0.1131162008605886,0.0,0.0,0.061788079089279385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316616241210449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906989820811973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05994306597632541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047075290530831634,0.0,0.13179384059606744,0.09186919961151327,0.0,0.0,0.08328144983293563
divorce,theghost53791263,2018/01/04,"Could of had an amicable divorce, but she chose otherwise, so I fought like hell No cheating or anything and it was only a 6 year marriage, no kids. I filed after years of apathy and her non-stop relying on me to manage her mood and do everything else under the sun. I suspect Borderline Personalty Disorder as her mom has 3 PD's. Anyways, I pay $50,000 for her MS degree and take her to Europe 3 times... 

I end up filing and explain that she can have the proceeds of the house sale, that I bought prior to marriage. She'll get $15,000 and she agreed that it was fair. I have an attorney draft up a settlement agreement with the buyout included. 

Then she talks to an attorney who OF COURSE advises her to retain him so that he can get to work playing attorney. He's talking about getting $1,500 per month in pre-separation alimony till the decree is signed, (2 years).

Mind you that I was a military recruiter for 8 years and that last year prior to filing I resigned from the military and became a Realtor, thus making $130,000 my first year. This is what the judge will base it off of, 1 year, the best of my life. 

So I opted for the nuclear option. I listed the house and sold it withing 2 months. She became homeless. I bought a duplex with my VA Loan and live in one half while the tenant pays my full PITI payment in the other half. I pressed charges because she accessed my bank account and tranfreered money to her account... she was arrested while walking the dog and charged with 2 felonies (had to retain an attorney to defend herself)... held in jail overnight till the judge could see her. She hid my pistol in the garage and wouldn't tell me were it was, I had her charged with 2 felony offenses for removing the licensed weapon (had to retain another attorney to defend herself). 

Now she can't get a job with all this on her record. She lives with her sister in a shitty little apartment. 

I ended up going back into recruiting so I would only have to pay $765 per month in pre-separation alimony. 

Fucking women couldn't just walk away amicably, she had to fight me and brag about what her lawyer can get her... after all I did for her over 6 years.. She should have realized that without kids I could give a rats ass how the fight ends. Should have saw her when the cops pushed her into the squad car in front of the neighbors house as she was walking the dog. ",5.781965052115267,6.003912049356224,6.1698129981606415,80.47082618025752,66.91845493562232,9.318087063151443,31.449724095646843,9.140100540675403,2.55410202329859,1869,69,365,31,28,603,236,466,0.165,0.7909999999999999,0.044,-0.9956,1,0,0,1,3,0,64.0,0,1,0,3,13,15,8,0,33,0,36,3,1,3,2,50,54,29,0,8,4,2,1,1,1,6,1,0,3,3,18,23,0,4,3,1,12,8,6,10,0,4,19,3,61,4,62,25,4,60,1,2,2,2,55,22,3,2,31,248,79,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10820311609003884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491610974450113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09694986760198954,0.07934630325403216,0.0,0.06290331962041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10829094198718248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24716509315130925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11826402831373425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08620152896791447,0.0,0.2741856239611431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09274000726211858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777287764655728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539696657006534,0.2695610946359525,0.09898870533535477,0.05864493187405944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3572002481211036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239958828810368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411315911250399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07288574708187293,0.050413143889457966,0.10342291911332573,0.1822363169134884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887974674803286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1041919097280571,0.12085421492069764,0.24709445901059665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992382928972468,0.15696042496870036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08222861685638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08627098517913169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07758561034027388,0.16587951244905655,0.09019211131429278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06017058728503481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947092955982373,0.0,0.07512313504972074,0.0,0.0,0.07330281142721118,0.0,0.0,0.5316048850586361
divorce,doahsurfer,2018/01/05,"Divorce will likely be final in 30 days. Relief! My crazy husband did everything you dont do in a divorce and made himself look really bad. I got to keep my house! And he isn't getting the alimomy or child support he demanded so he could avoid getting a job. He can only get joiny custody of our daughter if he gets a job and his own place here where we live instead of running to his parents a state away. And finally he has to return all of my stuff and replace the stuff he broke. The judge was the hero I needed yesterday. Final hearing in 30 days. He still says he is fighting for me to only have our daughter on weekends, but the judge says ideally it will be 7 days on 7 days off like i want. I'm confident that it will end up that way. I'm so excited to move on with my life and live in peace.",2.553859890109891,3.784149779761904,4.199999999999998,87.96807692307692,75.01190476190476,7.073992673992675,27.804029304029307,7.61054688173877,1.529012271062271,625,25,134,8,13,210,104,168,0.061,0.7809999999999999,0.158,0.966,3,1,0,0,4,0,13.0,3,1,0,2,6,11,1,1,9,0,15,1,0,1,1,19,29,11,0,5,3,4,0,2,0,3,1,3,0,1,6,8,0,2,0,1,0,2,2,4,0,0,4,4,15,7,20,19,2,28,0,1,1,0,27,12,0,2,14,82,21,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278399100342678,0.0,0.1091175219456706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10434230021657337,0.0,0.0,0.3371271618698674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316325831018135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574918741825795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11745233386059856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294810472368466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27311259179461084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452169610712418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472928503942258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15079433366454426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593717854002126,0.1161599031796331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230753105015148,0.12769335655391126,0.0,0.23079662561544556,0.0,0.10974349757265857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236584465066578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13889875326752266,0.0,0.09690216467752956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987854948535841,0.0,0.0,0.14511156436724965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653926850492232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372092897936867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207853830270614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436617168450944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992088753794744,0.0,0.1483011561032793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708210934481836,0.10373262614680902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Dont_Steal_Bacon,2018/01/05,Just got married and don't know what to do. I got married recently. I really really regret my decision infact I did it mainly for her. I don't know what to do. I feel like I screwed my life up and I cry sometimes when she is not there. I have dreams that I'm not married yet and I am able to break up with her. I screwed up guys and I'm a big time failure. ,-1.6618863636363628,0.2694346750000029,1.4063636363636398,97.93318181818184,96.0,4.90909090909091,18.522727272727273,6.574015621080383,-0.011875000000000302,274,9,68,4,11,96,47,80,0.233,0.735,0.032,-0.9426,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,2,0,1,0,8,3,0,0,0,13,15,5,0,1,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,5,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,1,15,1,8,12,1,9,0,1,0,2,4,4,2,0,5,47,19,0,0.2840711746353712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31203884638222423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14363492127941807,0.2029405039196137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4543953375031461,0.0,0.0,0.281275124495472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3122361769531545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20064787162766304,0.13878282693756727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.363966537059134,0.0,0.28048601435056914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809536553955093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564418636975736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sandman200,2018/01/05,"Ex-Claiming she's not getting support payments We have been divorced now for six months.  I have setup through my bank that she is automaticly mailed a check at the start of each month.  This has worked for five months.

This month she claims that she has not gotten the check.  I have offered to Zelle (AHC) her the money, but she says she's going to contact her lawyer.    

What should I do now and in the future?  Certify mail her the check?",2.298457516339869,4.793353329411765,2.253333333333334,95.72888888888893,80.41176470588233,4.718954248366012,21.20915032679739,5.82211442006289,-0.046124183006535084,343,10,71,2,9,102,58,85,0.025,0.975,0.0,-0.2474,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,14,2,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,2,0,0,2,2,1,14,1,8,11,1,11,0,0,0,0,16,2,0,0,8,51,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094368346429095,0.0,0.15331650003137948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8613113170406007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145319208316337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094458475844245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30613178346501185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19639576292699984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mach_oddity,2018/01/05,"What the fuck? My brother, who's STBX walked out on her kids and now lives with her parents, has been told by his attorney that if he goes to trial that he will lose his kids. SHE left the home. SHE continues to break court orders (visitation, child support, and scheduling requirements, among others). SHE has been incendiary since day one. He has done a damn good job being the good guy and fighting for his kids against this homewrecking whore, all for what? FUCK!

(Sorry... I had to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening)",4.175146198830409,6.772389578947369,3.804561403508776,86.58637426900587,74.26315789473685,7.590643274853799,25.292397660818715,8.515128840125781,1.7803099415204675,410,14,77,8,9,123,71,95,0.181,0.7190000000000001,0.1,-0.8803,2,0,0,0,2,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,1,10,4,0,4,0,9,3,0,0,1,8,15,4,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,5,7,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,6,0,1,5,1,10,4,12,8,1,12,0,1,0,3,23,4,3,1,4,49,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14224104414870206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22570642701807445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078028577307445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699855606889237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183861448795612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22123669358449588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886882904012525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396358685891812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947559065336308,0.0,0.0,0.24674691072094904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945515792099745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449024910264173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244706211947484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2468955482755977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25028551452917563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20305928905580944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21075170285811548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ThrowingItAllAway74,2018/01/05,"Are You Divorced, But married for over 15 years, with kids? If so please tell me, how did you do it, and how are your kids handling it? I’ve been considering a divorce for over a year now, and can’t get past the idea that it will totally wreck my kids’ lives.  I’m looking for stories of others experiences, good or bad.",2.968,4.26668518461539,4.003076923076922,89.51692307692308,74.07692307692308,7.046153846153848,26.84615384615385,7.554174236665415,1.2206,247,9,55,3,5,80,52,65,0.102,0.812,0.085,-0.2873,0,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,3,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,2,1,10,10,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,5,1,7,7,1,6,0,0,1,0,9,2,0,2,4,37,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26498323649344857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31044002236595925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658080599944413,0.0,0.0,0.26618740764269194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3582620176588956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28023563831387954,0.0,0.2665033685918285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3029570505816035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483671520993893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773875626232716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4087402467805169
divorce,summersnow__21,2018/01/05,"The little things.. I’m really sad today guys. Really broken hearted. Moving the last of my stuff out and back home to my parents. All these little things keep coming up.. my STBX(m29)  and I(f22) were married for less than 3 years and it’s been a rocky road. But I was (and still am) so in love with him. I was packing and found a copy of our marriage license.. Just seeing our signatures takes me back to that day when I was so happy. I was so excited. I hate losing things I care about. I’m so depressed, I want to disappear. 

All the little things add up and break me. Decorating our apartment, pictures, books, gifts. I’m leaving all my wedding gifts and will be donating my dress. I’m so hopeless and lost. I hate myself and this life I’m stuck with. I’m having trouble letting go but I’m doing the right thing..?. I know I have time, I know I should be glad blah blah blah.. It doesn’t really help.. I’m hoping for the days when I don’t cry every morning and every night. I’m hoping for the knife feeling to stop in my chest. But for now I’m really in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

",-0.05160058737151019,2.25424114537445,1.9160660792951525,94.80241042584434,91.29074889867842,4.612569750367106,17.698825256975034,6.2581,-0.17910443465491888,848,23,184,9,30,280,125,227,0.162,0.732,0.106,-0.847,1,0,0,0,0,1,42.0,3,0,0,2,15,16,2,0,8,0,19,5,2,0,3,33,47,21,0,4,4,1,1,3,0,2,2,0,1,1,12,16,0,2,4,1,1,4,2,9,0,0,9,2,27,7,21,33,4,31,0,5,1,1,10,12,0,2,14,118,39,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18086534631931173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990837296507185,0.0,0.0,0.10130818446288146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12918598081845736,0.15169382218467212,0.0,0.10129490434514173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19817826755117332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05946573127159396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12895021850790928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683887892871174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164496127936308,0.0,0.12519504550864188,0.0,0.2322255126754802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13936509181308648,0.07882962346195654,0.0,0.11796960525067104,0.2336209613269324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045346782512984,0.0,0.0,0.1292676768753639,0.09586556039156943,0.0,0.12452903790331188,0.0,0.12026132457133736,0.08306943957741858,0.0,0.3536199164105718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13157236796008978,0.12838214562625247,0.0,0.10614508478406663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499783561177058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110366385167024,0.0,0.11284727506626392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514234693821344,0.0,0.13058887168849426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013687213641754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043590156155227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371770741147536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09392125749699187,0.09832488075579587,0.0,0.0,0.13463210049924645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842597391502115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906649712383196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857770092137949,0.0,0.11147786899690318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06936777045028389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07573517739489183
divorce,kcucken,2018/01/05,"The 12th My STBXW and I go before a judge on the 12th to finalize the divorce. I'm in a much better headspace then I was but still very damaged. I ended taking all the debt, pay her $500 in spousal support and have the kids 90% of the time. Eventually when she gets her life in order, we will readress custody to a more even arrangement. The kids need there mom but be right now, she isnt in a place to have additional custody. 

There have been bumps and I don't think the bumps are over but we remain focused on our kids..

We do seem to talk alot about how sad this whole thing is and how he wish things were different. I have extended an olive branch to continue with the divorce yet go to counseling to see if we can resolve some of these issues and perhaps be together in the future and although she's not interested now because she has a boyfriend she has made it clear that it's possible in the future. I've let her know that I won't be anyone's second choice though, which is what I would be in this case. 

",3.5734294871794887,4.623772432692313,4.341076923076926,88.6372564102564,72.26923076923076,7.662051282051284,26.36666666666667,8.021203637495839,1.3525932051282052,798,26,174,11,15,256,129,208,0.077,0.8320000000000001,0.091,0.472,2,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,5,0,0,2,12,6,0,0,18,0,24,1,0,3,2,31,37,16,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,11,12,0,0,4,0,2,2,4,2,0,1,4,1,21,4,21,25,6,27,0,2,1,0,21,12,0,4,12,125,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13059832300347549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138570912812894,0.0,0.1589328639613947,0.0,0.0,0.1651884481031198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514146715875927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16542835260918928,0.0,0.0,0.12336397638208815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046042934323988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09758290132558156,0.0,0.212298536925014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949459181746585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026473630026224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19099140847642015,0.13192561551096862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17673223931921253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21875013056528336,0.0,0.0,0.1373020620870106,0.13849225056710418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19514146715875927,0.0,0.0,0.2105622005331656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595059290192769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488365191511018,0.1700341173372929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14915978448737566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21195151768585035,0.0,0.0,0.14043252362409325,0.1501237049537205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2481717322344875,0.11967870335099375,0.1835067541797116,0.0,0.1089107552717795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410999800454345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20852905485749715,0.2147835129645332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268051578529275,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Flummock,2018/01/05,"Feel like you need a whole new social circle/life? I've been pretty rationale for the most part involving my divorce. There obviously were some really hard times where I felt emotionally drained, but I've managed to keep healthy habits and pick up, move on. 

But lately I feel almost like my life doesn't fit anymore. My friends don't really check on me or try to hang out. It's been about 7 months since the split so it feels as though they think I should be over it and don't need anything. I've always been a really strong person and the person who usually was the light at the end the tunnel for all of my friends in crisis, holding their hands at painstaking lengths. It's not like my friends are doing anything particularly mean. I guess I just feel like I'm really all alone. And in fairness, for the past 10 years I had a ""someone"" so I didn't really care if I only saw friends once every few months. So I guess I can't blame them for not stepping up more now. I have made efforts to reach out but it just seems like they aren't received. And o get life goes on, everyone has things they're dealing with. It just feels really isolating, and that can be hard for me. It's a feeling I'm not really used to. 

I guess the last few weeks I've felt really alone and misunderstood. Almost like I need to completely start over. I keep telling myself this is just another phase that will pass and how I'll eventually be in the place I want, that it just takes time. Blah blah -all the stuff I seem to hear whenever someone gives me divorce ""advice"". 

I just don't know that it's true, that I need to just accept things, or if I need to drastically change. I'm youngish with no kids, so I'd like to do stuff. And I have no problem going out alone, I do it often. But I'd like to have some regular friends that would want to as well. I don't know if any of this makes sense. ",3.2509939677680757,4.526480203655354,4.10272620869722,89.17099216710184,73.33420365535248,7.684847393535607,24.172953992977405,8.216663640201805,1.1512348789051945,1470,42,324,23,29,472,189,383,0.103,0.715,0.182,0.9862,0,3,0,0,2,0,41.0,0,1,4,2,19,19,0,0,14,0,30,3,1,6,5,81,70,26,0,13,19,0,11,10,5,3,2,1,0,3,23,14,0,3,16,0,1,6,13,1,1,0,11,14,36,18,38,53,11,38,0,0,1,0,23,18,0,16,22,193,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07226340766179544,0.0,0.0,0.14810114894560078,0.2297707222358284,0.0,0.0,0.06153259949554769,0.0,0.0,0.050288760998880216,0.07754336998487067,0.0,0.0,0.07333885738401015,0.0,0.0,0.1217096430035238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539729106663064,0.0,0.0782296448180009,0.0,0.07753551517279726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07623954419469349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08318416902184891,0.06549804371517802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230634338599905,0.07066271041815869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2243490561153937,0.10566026259815917,0.14200782959345834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28566921175098325,0.0,0.03863599580161574,0.07093989599851644,0.04202767733845671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24439388075392604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248994264359254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334739767281013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13146090415163209,0.0,0.0,0.08128233598597834,0.06027938984889961,0.08341919450723206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10446661162494347,0.2890271711190131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997359131150582,0.04936242022921383,0.0,0.0,0.08055358982786326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11805289748048868,0.07859749875069011,0.0,0.2741661673705654,0.0,0.07142169057013957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787546891218158,0.0,0.05624255911540679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08008100215180591,0.07059395866963965,0.0,0.12914115340253887,0.07726235645230264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523407233164396,0.0,0.0707604796325988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37899580556717016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464320806893032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117247805049381,0.0,0.0,0.07538304975063351,0.1253157510913175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05234242495824611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931087324836624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05560144573943301,0.0,0.06463584885615592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825862804283886,0.04738438617216687,0.07265582481914606,0.0,0.08624206549038461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050207420575674316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386934259941965,0.0814458420598497,0.0,0.0872356425152523,0.0,0.059318494976666074,0.0,0.06649022871809071,0.0,0.0,0.0825629037315482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525321934601357,0.0,0.0,0.047621588658274094
divorce,g-burn,2018/01/05,"Has anyone noticed more confidence when dating post-divorce? I used to be very timid person who was terrified of rejection. Asking out a girl or going out on a date used to put me on the verge of panic attacks because I feared rejection more than death. Now that I've experienced the mother of all rejections in my divorce, I've noticed dating isn't anything at all anymore. I've experienced the worst of the worst and lived to tell about it. Dating is still awkward but I have a confidence I've never possessed before and I like what I'm becoming. Just thought I'd share and I hope you guys can feel the same way when you are ready to get back out there!",4.091153846153849,5.668803500000003,5.001538461538463,82.35846153846154,71.69230769230771,7.969230769230768,28.384615384615394,8.548686976883017,2.118215384615385,525,20,100,9,10,171,86,130,0.184,0.674,0.14300000000000002,0.1882,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,8,13,1,4,8,0,8,0,0,2,3,18,17,7,1,1,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,10,0,0,2,3,9,3,17,14,7,21,0,3,0,0,11,8,0,2,11,66,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18576586109369247,0.1309748017411376,0.0,0.1541440475242868,0.0,0.17511396986092506,0.2130975262479453,0.0,0.14403345109033358,0.0,0.11418530969186055,0.2068743825608458,0.15939102332072747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2107811273109858,0.0947119464392779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786420576091864,0.0,0.10645526735801696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547101421173484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860457737855036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151250653058247,0.0,0.1654023222418217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14446865328900593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4265180816869217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21977345503198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355598123680165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939571528986872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883030219815299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14958977076960586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372131430157033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487069578749279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32355953852251,0.0,0.15455425437917025,0.0,0.14868169940675846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Kotele_,2018/01/05,"Seeking advice regarding my sister. Hello everyone and happy new year :) I am just wondering what people think about my sisters situation...

A few weeks before Christmas my sister (27) opened up to me about the fact she was incredibly unhappy in her marriage of 18 months. She broke down crying and basically told me she does not love him anymore, she doesn’t want to have children with her husband because then she will be trapped, she doesn’t see a future with him, they have grown apart and if she were to meet him today she would not want to be with him. 
I know no relationship is all hearts and flowers but to see her breaking down like that just killed me,  so I told her that she had my full support in whatever she wanted to do and encouraged her to talk to my parents as well. 
After talking to them and telling her husband how she felt he basically threw her out of their place and she moved in with us for Christmas (suitcases and all). She said she didn’t want to see his family (they’re super close) because they’ll just guilt her into going back to him.

On Monday she met up with him to talk about the next steps and all of a sudden she packed her suitcase and went back! She didn’t say anything she just got up for work on Tuesday and didn’t come back. 
Considering she’d been so adamant that there wasn’t a future and even consulted my friend who’s a divorce lawyer I find this turn around unsettling.

My sister is not a flippant person, she said these feelings have been building since before they got married, she knew she didn’t want to go through with it but couldn’t back out and now all of a sudden after one chat everything is hunky dory?

I love my brother in law but I love my sister more and I worry that she’s lying to herself just because she thinks it’s easier to stay and not upset him and his family. 


Should I speak to her or leave her as it’s her relationship?

- They’ve been together 5 years married for 18 months

- No children (1 cat)

- reason for breakdown is that she is unhappy 

- Good family relations all round

Thanks guys!",5.978226072607264,6.1501429282178215,6.10470297029703,81.27688943894391,66.5,9.10957095709571,30.199669966996694,8.841846274778883,2.2244590759075904,1629,54,321,24,24,518,202,404,0.11,0.784,0.106,-0.6072,2,1,0,0,1,0,36.0,1,0,5,2,20,16,1,2,9,0,31,4,1,2,6,69,64,27,1,9,14,9,3,1,1,4,0,4,0,4,12,29,0,0,9,1,0,8,14,4,1,1,22,10,73,12,53,34,8,52,0,1,4,3,92,20,0,4,23,229,85,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119831531192016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09255556106107833,0.0,0.0,0.07680038042964346,0.08308104516695253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2870515992280317,0.0,0.17067428871873566,0.0,0.15882924348633465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039316805779256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025156093923906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167131143297215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164177299099233,0.0,0.0,0.08917819341803829,0.08387652072391162,0.0,0.2639418956716205,0.0,0.04718906525808261,0.0,0.08960880229062723,0.0,0.08529942203921351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07210440717134199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10608006164554536,0.0782784752045662,0.14928466589744982,0.0,0.0,0.09240865721972648,0.0,0.09934860038151123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059324877768599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10325278217446304,0.0,0.05129021967267211,0.0,0.0,0.09882008966318244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04559498357866598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526944792702506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1489858521244817,0.09919210435440452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013604627130802,0.09925459648596786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0632409646026684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362887424931773,0.0,0.0,0.06470136893573718,0.08148976092346913,0.09750711976463136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595596372412044,0.0,0.20039709431574412,0.0,0.0,0.17755118607410245,0.07421758056732036,0.0,0.0,0.22310922188174048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720127132352066,0.10490374701244813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09947443826691292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590666515013912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22503874176353728,0.08157213609445868,0.08592319923953112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119600675661901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08846332706985043,0.17835638683607655,0.0,0.0,0.10151325590887453,0.0,0.0,0.11226119896657463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752341707222731,0.0,0.07486149607044612,0.0,0.08391241210452857,0.0865153021504835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012094290319452,0.0679433545442141,0.09477835959306087,0.0,0.0662970056107262,0.0,0.0,0.12019938717636547
divorce,ThrowsLikeaHuman,2018/01/05,"I seriously have PTSD from my divorce ""experience"" I had so many triggers tonight and so many flashbacks. Causes me to lose all faith in humanity and wonder if all the amoral people in the world have decided to go into Family Law? It sure seems that way. 

E.g., they didn't want to go to prison for murder, being an accessory to domestic violence, child neglect, fraud or falsifying records, so they became Family Law attorneys instead. Can buy a much nicer life than prison that way. 

They didn't want to be hit men and hit women, so they became Family Law lawyers instead. 

I know the memories of all this have kept me from dating for years. I've long told people, ""I will never go through another divorce, and if that means I stay single for the rest of my life, then so be it.""

",6.193549589858314,6.562842255033559,6.863982102908281,75.33849366144672,66.04697986577182,10.38061148396719,31.320656226696496,10.25414643259724,3.1024177479492923,612,22,115,14,9,202,92,149,0.19,0.762,0.048,-0.9707,0,0,0,0,4,0,23.0,0,0,4,1,7,7,1,0,6,0,11,2,0,2,5,27,24,13,1,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,6,5,0,2,5,0,1,3,3,4,0,0,5,0,13,3,18,13,6,16,1,2,0,0,11,4,0,5,6,76,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17159940451584782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16811177847709774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007933942384375,0.4628188707145264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27901512685883273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993676993643891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311791240195807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482350565961066,0.0,0.183080474148666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318271746597077,0.0,0.178260862905135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030025524769347,0.0,0.12621557900933406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269061107432333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19129598624630256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14897917340476527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17442720514871513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15423649006518372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637286632754865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304789450207485,0.25979264499925764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746949013545096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1053840741955486
divorce,Bzyeee,2018/01/05,"To bypass my lawyer or not... So I'm in a hotly contested divorce. Lawyer fees are definitely adding up. One of the hot button issues is whether a home purchased during the marriage is separate or community. I used separate funds and have the documentation to prove that it was separate funds used. He also signed away his rights via a quitclaim during the marriage. But his lawyer somehow convinced him that the quitclaim is void and that I used community property to purchase the house. 

My ex is such a dumbass that a part of me feels like providing him the documents is a waste of time and energy. His lawyer will still convince him that he has a bigger claim and we will STILL end up in court.

Should I bypass my attorney and provide these evidence documents to my ex myself? Maybe save a few dolllars... 

Help me out Reddit.. ",5.172380952380955,7.09305509090909,5.889025974025973,75.69877705627707,69.51948051948052,9.54891774891775,31.01515151515152,9.928628108626363,3.3230709956709963,660,28,115,17,12,215,92,154,0.041,0.846,0.114,0.8591,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,15,0,12,0,0,3,1,21,17,11,0,1,5,2,3,1,0,3,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,0,2,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,17,4,13,13,2,12,0,0,0,0,15,8,0,3,5,83,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17809550646909286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20923679688440586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19724875384359464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260532690406992,0.1590990657591522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927312470297682,0.0,0.22338926437017512,0.0,0.0,0.2569693581910608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324440691112266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880143531094806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22373509409093814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15090931455974213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24116564381188565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901871428535857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3557018026192889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985990864742428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5770316572199731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,LittleLadyK,2018/01/05,"I feel like I'm crazy I'm trying to figure out how to cut back completely on contact and ignore those urges to text. We talked everyday for six years, he made me feel like I never had to beg for his attention or anything. And he just asked for the divorce and that immediate days after went out partied, got tattoos, and completely cut me out. He only got out of the hospital for a suicide attempt two weeks earlier and ignored my texts asking if he was okay. Was cold and hurtful. Listed all my flaws. I was blindsided by it & if I showed any kind of hurt or pain it angered him more. I was supposed to go along with everything he planned. He agreed I got the furniture, he got the house, but resented me for taking the furniture. Especially after he found out he's getting out of the military in a few months and the house wasn't that great thing anymore. Just completely screwed us over financially as well running up all our debts and everything ""moving on"". Most of the time he just spends his time going to bars and getting drunk. 

5 months ago I felt so lucky and happy to have him as a husband. And here I am 5 months later, not even able to recognize the man I spent the last 6 years with and knew since I was 13.

I know people fall out of love all the time, I just wasn't expecting the coldness and hatefulness about it or that ""ripping off the band-aid"" as he calls it to be so painful. I didn't expect for someone to completely stop caring. Our relations are so bad right now. I haven't been that great anymore either.

I guess whatever. Things are getting better, moving on the best I can. I've just got to learn to let go and stop holding on to hope he'll be better. I know divorces are painful, and I know one day if I don't choose to let it eat me up with anger and bitterness, I'll be better for it.
Sorry just venting. ",3.98601700186606,4.947757078167116,4.8919811320754745,85.40456095791005,71.21024258760106,8.295293385859424,28.285403275969315,8.617729084823388,1.9362601285506955,1440,52,300,24,26,469,193,371,0.18600000000000005,0.69,0.124,-0.976,2,0,0,0,2,1,40.0,4,0,0,6,16,32,8,0,17,1,23,8,0,2,4,72,56,30,1,6,15,1,3,2,0,1,3,0,0,1,13,28,3,5,12,3,3,8,7,16,1,3,21,6,33,16,53,29,8,47,0,2,0,2,30,17,1,10,24,190,46,1,0.08254959894256439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07317523870479521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08944245596541038,0.0,0.05613655802730964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16373404082418114,0.0,0.0,0.06793128624806039,0.0,0.15434546326912088,0.0,0.0,0.06347554610418438,0.0689254670179899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663071118469087,0.21902523582808645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08429237011882408,0.0,0.08416481776431341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34620673567773913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10647532432004628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08446884824821191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0545232315577541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14838051340141936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08347911512656794,0.11794689995751555,0.07926056049067289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09051137441876538,0.0,0.0,0.1293862750153213,0.0,0.1407445183059405,0.0,0.3301122766187319,0.18202244851972432,0.09093768995931087,0.0,0.0,0.08787558307791485,0.0,0.08150063865952623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0819903779435508,0.0,0.19050230771681653,0.17674210599886014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08596270422414623,0.13610130216094668,0.0672889408863925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16882511565042976,0.0,0.08065912860406778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450423599718813,0.07811042648525507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19767090692052605,0.17547431918307782,0.0,0.0,0.06366733972585595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593774464389414,0.06278268982321375,0.2635157803630925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057229497942935234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049690645360435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828588128930707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06994400730046102,0.0,0.0,0.09240751758099276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13803032208468013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902958629010935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06206702498046216,0.06635024070680097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10968457097070812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14440600496909686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05604575898401315,0.0,0.08063896324102264,0.0,0.09929700346386999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621630895667599,0.0,0.07422200325765235,0.07652430524879904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631847044819423
divorce,cinnamonstyx,2018/01/05,"A metaphor for my marriage and divorce As I reflect on the relationship I had with my ex, I've come to view it as a house of sorts.  It was built on what seemed to me to be a firm foundation, though it had a few structural issues.  I, being an emotional mason, was confident that over time, I could patch them up.  

As the years passed, I noted parts of the house failing, some even rotting.  About four years ago, I surveyed the structure and noticed places where it was crumbling.  I did my best to patch things here and there, calling out for my wife's help.  I could hear her telling me she was fixing this and that, but her voice was often in a distant part of the house and I rarely saw her with tools in hand.  

While I continued to scramble to shore up the walls and try to get ahead on the repairs, a huge, gaping hole appeared in the wall.  I peered into it, only to see my wife's face and with her holding a sledgehammer behind her back.  When I asked her what the hell she was doing, she replied ""what sledgehammer?""  I knew it was over and began letting the walls fall, even grabbing the crowbar to help finish the job.  Now, as the cleanup from the demolition is near complete, I've surveyed the foundation again.  Those cornerstones that I thought were sound were merely made of sand.  

So here I am sweeping up the last few dustpans and looking forward to the new house I get to build.  I've honed my emotional masonry skills and am far better than with her.  My new house will be built on a solid foundation of who I am and what she wouldn't let me be.  ",6.208855996944232,5.760998613636364,5.919388846447671,84.89299083269674,66.1103896103896,8.9353705118411,32.07868601986249,8.124751697461798,2.085049809014514,1215,43,254,13,17,377,164,308,0.028,0.884,0.087,0.9294,1,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,0,0,1,5,14,4,1,0,26,0,27,2,2,1,0,32,41,20,0,3,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,17,18,0,1,4,0,0,5,1,2,0,1,17,10,39,2,46,14,6,43,1,1,4,0,25,23,1,5,17,188,56,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812698113794337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348756376481533,0.0,0.0,0.08511982776597063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617058328543202,0.09790326876163112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130349003177268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0953564116980092,0.1160646088177784,0.0,0.0,0.1767664805709807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24904040466710264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14622979601696476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156701346216922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247645428719413,0.0,0.1483968954471099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6386523873012576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11553981431632615,0.10985055334568156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023353732795593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22639214073319075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295832941771563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474499956626804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21382538204985013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260302567821326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419071709387033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397500079227165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565571155348968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884808305427025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821186894921118,0.1007751817967791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967548161171796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354274490436874,0.0,0.10876009358000363,0.08788174237369789,0.06454881722569973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515658618993458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425715956509928
divorce,vibanan,2018/01/05,"Short term divorce- investment split Things are not working out after 8 months of my marriage. I realized that I'm in a emotionally abusive relationship and wants to end this marriage.

I know that all marital assets are split between two parties during the marriage. However, what happens to the individual assets that I had before and after marriage? Let's say, for example, I had $100 in my checking account before marriage. I invested $60 from my checking account into the stock market after the marriage. Would this investments be split up even though I used the capital gained before marriage? Or just the realized gains of this investments would be split up.

Should I just liquidate the account to make things easy?",6.112569792412312,8.813467314960633,6.380443808160348,69.88171796707229,68.76377952755905,9.027630637079458,36.742304939155325,9.573946990214177,4.293667716535433,587,32,84,14,11,188,76,127,0.033,0.851,0.116,0.8095,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,0,8,0,10,0,0,2,1,18,16,4,0,4,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,9,4,0,0,3,0,9,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,10,0,17,8,2,13,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,1,6,64,19,3,0.0,0.2485112126385146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5354276527398892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359326966444027,0.1857700841442084,0.0,0.0,0.13853330406429756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18547508331259255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526929308923688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144764755489354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000511220486767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16741489863258258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22518553777242495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679608902799625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786879204940699,0.0,0.2060714782400725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048884795514212,0.0,0.0,0.18115064933122502,0.0,0.0,0.12371188306710522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269543586290768,0.0,0.0,0.29799088479058755,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ZimboSong,2018/01/06,"Recommendations of good resources/tips for talking to your young children/child Amicable disillusionment will be finalized this summer. 
Any good tips or recommendations for talking with young (PK to elementary-aged children) about the forthcoming changes?",15.188918918918922,16.766585324324325,12.354729729729733,39.43587837837839,47.10810810810811,14.967567567567567,53.635135135135144,13.816669648895859,8.314956756756757,215,13,24,7,2,65,29,37,0.068,0.785,0.147,0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,1,4,13,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23777276236972145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3698814283372864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3830225066673726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5865366336009591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5620679489852964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,enriquepalacios,2018/01/06,"Question about tax status, Single vs. Head of Household Since my divorce will be finalized this year I need to adjust my tax status.  Here's my situation:

* 3 kids
* 50/50 custody
* We will alternate 2/1 dependents each year.  First year, I get 2 she gets 1, then switch.

What should my filing status be for this year? Head of Household or Single?",1.5445887445887436,4.139193444444448,2.3769696969696987,88.2218181818182,98.68253968253971,4.8305916305916305,20.01298701298701,6.574015621080383,0.7245047619047624,269,9,47,4,11,84,46,63,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,5,2,2,1,0,9,8,2,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,8,0,5,3,3,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,7,28,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609991498893429,0.0,0.20266147839269866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2489591382707459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4890413110328601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666471733262434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669026256822099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970888429993588,0.2678111094613768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6137193790124619
divorce,R33F_uno,2018/01/06,"Just picked up all the divorce paperwork The day after Christmas my wife tells me it’s over and she found someone else. It took me a week to get the paperwork and I’m just starting to fill it out. I still can’t fully wrap my head around all that’s going on. I just feel lost, I want to end it amicably but I really do want to deal with it ether. I’m just hurt I guess. I just don’t know how to handle all this it’s moving so fast. Does divorce happen so fast or am I jumping the gun?",-0.4206386292834914,1.542902691588786,2.003387850467292,96.5808450155763,87.50467289719627,5.061993769470405,17.327881619937695,6.42735559955562,-0.3508623052959505,376,9,91,4,12,128,68,107,0.094,0.879,0.026,-0.8294,0,0,0,1,2,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,10,2,0,0,5,0,4,1,1,2,3,23,18,7,0,2,7,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,3,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,3,1,12,0,12,15,3,18,0,2,0,0,6,5,0,2,8,57,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20060943532628864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453322219781995,0.2323261383022505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19720545927175148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825115731636616,0.0,0.1995933701261352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11394382095189255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470848385310505,0.0,0.0,0.1177361669572536,0.0,0.1280716992866842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24824862713966905,0.0,0.1992764180698154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23127429603384325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24124202622489505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384656434713302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459963394353361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395115757556531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144365094371688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19093847442964032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950401577520273,0.0,0.1799649431524931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969659881791876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2503723393342079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265834747072043,0.0,0.180762319782986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Lovecomesandgoes3,2018/01/06,"Pursuit of Happiness I’m finally getting to the point where I am looking forward instead of backwards and my thoughts are more rational than emotional. That being said- I still cannot logically process how someone whom is closest to you basically “turns”. Not how a marriage dissolves over time. From the affair on down through the divorce process, the lack of respect (is that the right word?) for another human being is confounding.  You want to be happy, you want to be with someone else etc., which on a rational level is understood-but to proactively destroy someone else’s world in such a cruel and selfish way in pursuit of your own happiness? Please, someone who was the “leaver”, help me to understand the other side of the coin.  The lack of....concern for another human (let alone the human you were most intimately connected with) is what’s so outrageously offensive to me.  We create these lives together and then you turn on the other person as if they are an enemy?!  I assume it’s an attempt at self preservation, but if that’s the case you are basically opting to say FUCK YOU to a partner that often is blindsided by all of it.  It’s really impacted the way I see the world and the nature of people.",6.270666666666667,7.444738288888893,6.989777777777778,71.66600000000003,66.1111111111111,10.444444444444443,36.33333333333333,10.504223727775694,4.210066666666666,965,48,161,25,15,319,134,225,0.097,0.825,0.078,-0.8162,0,1,0,0,1,0,29.0,1,8,1,1,8,10,5,0,21,0,18,1,0,2,1,25,30,12,0,6,4,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,6,14,7,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,6,0,0,4,4,17,4,33,21,7,24,0,0,2,1,24,18,1,5,5,127,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737202681049773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27816311312991937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216025427060823,0.14919887685276928,0.0,0.0,0.14792541942215606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452974518320762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12262085494006912,0.06929740655551063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42358395475243016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08890384738469441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356304137508817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712098290174185,0.0,0.11138175238489724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09195385952914384,0.11581359331767313,0.0,0.14559569764235894,0.12538492472372345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08497071796750197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327135247172238,0.1261682487715735,0.10547833979924948,0.0,0.0,0.10569459032078517,0.0,0.13836941478886802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4495319129743275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10592415358575033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10529903591786266,0.0773417554081035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2885421383730519,0.0,0.13807989122666198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15646558759740364,0.21056230091572248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ClairieO,2018/01/06,"Remarried and family planning Hi all, 
I was wondering whether any of you had experience or resources that speak about the process of parenting in a second marriage. 

I have a son from marriage 1, I struggle getting on with his controlling father and when my kid goes there I hurt. 

I remarried at the end of last year and with my new husband we always planned on having kids. I always wanted to have more kids with or without a partner! But now I'm stressed. I'm freaking out about resenting my first kid's absence further and then resenting any new children for making me feel like that. 

I'm so stressed!

tl;dr: thinking about having a kid in a new marriage but stressed about it ",5.5989922480620145,6.93061789147287,5.7333333333333325,79.4866666666667,67.75968992248062,8.524031007751939,36.81395348837209,8.841846274778883,3.353781395348838,544,29,96,9,9,172,82,129,0.131,0.855,0.014,-0.8829,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,4,8,9,2,4,7,0,6,0,0,2,1,22,15,12,0,1,6,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,9,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,8,0,2,2,2,13,1,20,13,2,17,0,1,0,0,19,7,0,3,11,67,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26794910987070336,0.0,0.0,0.2189868274153686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805882077258839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14260849253593005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15750024681081462,0.1517874128928822,0.0,0.0814123060774231,0.11502672381787665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695639019159586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412191885993897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17236625482351506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13124594918771842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866213789995849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747649757945367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4665180385020407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17878433452120987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5533147535532208,0.1683242904269037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316973604796643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496881714972914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15520944290300714,0.1746102188972401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368619557943927
divorce,whatslovegot2dowifit,2018/01/06,"Not where I expected to be. Hi. I’m at a bit of a loss right now. Married for over 10. No children. Great careers. And this is the furthest from happy I can remember being. We’ve known each other since college, entire relationship was based on alcohol. Quit drinking alcohol. Things were great (so I thought). He put me through school. He now has landed a job where he’s been accepted and appreciated for what seems to be the first time. Has decided it’s okay to start socially drinking again. Any time we fight now it’s a consistent beratement of how I have treated him like an asshole and how he won’t stand for it anymore. How I’ve managed to constrain him by quitting drinking even though I’m an alcoholic. Recently got back from a vacation with my parents which he yelled at my stepfather because he just got too annoyed and “they ruined my vacation.” Has consistently questioned my need for anxiety medication because he doesn’t believe I have a problem and he’s unsure if he’s talking to a “drugged up zombie.” That’s been about all I can take. No respect for my parents is not okay. Any time I try to defend myself it is apparently me saying he’s mean or rude and resorting to passive aggressiveness. I end up apologizing just so I can maybe have some semblance of calm in my life. He has been going to the gym nonstop for the last three months and is extremely proud of his new physique. A lot of changes for a guy who refused to even leave the house when I invited him to go and do things because he was so miserable. All I’ve ever wanted is his happiness, but he’s seemed to make his own and I feel as though I’m just an afterthought. The next question I pose to myself is: do I continue on? Is this just a really shitty six month patch? Do I continue to try and please the guy who I feel could give two shits less about me? Or do I take my fantastic career, move into my own place, and start over. He’s more than likely going to make it ugly. 

Thanks for listening. 
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divorce,c0cKnUcKLEs,2018/01/06,"don’t burn me! but how bad could it be to just leave without a lawyer? i can’t be the only guy who’s unable to afford a divorce lawyer. i know people just split while waiting for the whole ordeal to finalize, right? or is it just me?",0.6202000000000005,2.52552862,2.4699999999999998,95.165,82.8,4.800000000000002,18.0,5.6839178017228535,-0.4597999999999995,181,4,41,1,5,60,38,50,0.14400000000000002,0.856,0.0,-0.7834,1,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,4,0,6,0,0,1,0,10,8,4,0,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,5,5,1,3,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,30,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.279841805144172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675953148939665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3671477302359356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318577790028144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18419333098485866,0.0,0.0,0.3548825019554783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549017367898155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23235542252714256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862219497752168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741904331273024,0.0,0.3230790526969151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SneakyBizness,2018/01/06,How did they react? This weekend I’m planning on confirming to my husband that I want to divorce.  I just can’t imagine what he’ll say or do.  Generally he’s pretty passive and non-confrontational.  How did your ex or STBX react when you told them?,2.3100000000000023,4.699489795918371,4.125877551020409,82.93697959183675,79.61224489795919,6.3689795918367365,28.16734693877552,7.554174236665415,1.8613151020408163,196,9,37,3,5,66,41,49,0.0,0.8540000000000001,0.146,0.6868,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,2,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,11,8,6,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,1,7,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,2,2,24,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5945117407022921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.464712419891647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5583881035743415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446750393518958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,koko0210,2018/01/07,"Messy messy messy I need advise He’s 40 and I’m 29.
Been in a sexless marriage for 4 years now. 
1st year we had sex 5 times
2nd year 3 times
And in 2017 once

I’m moved to the UK with him after marriage. 
So 1st year was very tough. I suggested therapy. He refused till I gave up and asked for a divorce so I could go back home to my family. He quickly suggested we do therapy.

So we started therapy. We were asked to do certain exercises to  help his erectile dysfunction . I always initiated these exercises.
But I gave up when I realised what was going on. And it ended it. We never did those exercises but still went to therapy.

I took care of myself by masturbating and watching porn. I tried to teach him ways he could satisfy me without penetrative sex. He said it was tiring using his hands. We never tried again,

He’s always busy and is ready to go to the pub to meet his friends. I’ve been going through this without sharing a word with anyone because I had no friends in the UK and I thought erectile dysfunction wasn’t his fault. 

However he refused to stay healthy and cut drinking.

Therapy ended in June 2017. And during the last week I found out I had herpes. I was horrified asking myself where I got this from. I told him and then all he said was “don’t worry you may have gotten it from an ex or even me” so I asked  do you have Herpes? He said not that he knows.

So I booked an appointment with the doc to properly diagnose and he didn’t make it. He said he would tell book his own appointment and he never did. He also told me not to tell the therapist cos it wasn’t necessary and out of shame of herpes I agreed with him.

After therapy things got worse. We became house mates. We didn’t do anything on our anniversary. Not even dinner. 
Porn wasn’t working for me anymore. 

And then I made the worst decision ever. I booked the services of an escort I had seen 3 times this year. I did so because I didn’t want to have an “affair” or any strings attached. 
However he found out a few days ago. From a hotel I booked. He was angry. But said he understood why I did it.
However it is the end of us. 
I am remorseful. A piece of me thinks we can work things out.
Another part feels like a weight lifted off my shoulder.
However divorce will affect me more than him. 
I just started my career and I’m not looking forward to going back home for now.
I only earn 20,000 a year at the moment. 

Can I ask for us to stay house mates until I obtain citizenship?
I contribute to house rent 

I don’t want anything from him just a place to stay whiles I work and obtain my citizenship.

I want a fair divorce ( that is if it happens ). Nothing messy or nasty. Any adivise will be helpful
",1.2182502570927376,3.5967306217712185,3.1150983001633286,88.55448278990988,84.11070110701107,6.2847256669288,23.09188796806001,7.578289261198853,1.1859083177061278,2095,77,429,37,61,700,241,542,0.111,0.8009999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9158,5,0,1,0,3,0,54.0,12,2,0,6,21,11,1,1,24,0,45,14,2,5,6,78,92,36,0,8,15,1,3,1,4,4,5,5,3,0,19,33,3,2,8,10,1,9,18,5,0,0,43,11,72,6,59,42,7,68,0,0,3,4,79,17,0,5,41,281,91,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056339792383112035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05082682270588259,0.10576968175549688,0.0,0.0,0.08644241085759223,0.06664546624705799,0.0,0.0,0.0630318535980249,0.04444080564519847,0.0,0.1046046348812983,0.0,0.2970879053411163,0.0,0.0,0.0977434211958383,0.0,0.07748799140130994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06480099611199687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10149081017444607,0.0,0.0,0.04098925929245259,0.0,0.0,0.06450941410137223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622620467336829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887895106389755,0.0,0.0,0.08395811480472586,0.057491298985895736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599162518730416,0.0,0.03213652662979658,0.045405412906447104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393747976316254,0.09820856541720273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060565023475564,0.0,0.10166530349341812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056203591054708534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08520235905388199,0.0,0.1275064908671444,0.0,0.0,0.2200100878775644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034929479983217555,0.05180775664446754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03105093088721363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337220119217459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06013954021918653,0.042425052095376115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755144832000863,0.0,0.04712700017331015,0.14705813463255815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060985030919804936,0.0,0.0,0.06768654724046133,0.0,0.04833825994285948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06882646094669419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.066403946206036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022881671959506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997249710773644,0.20323116702133592,0.05075701463874651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110392246644286,0.0,0.4361004948767791,0.07379502976110718,0.08444941301866174,0.04072500988660732,0.0,0.0504574691097447,0.11118247760906064,0.07304987140794811,0.0,0.12146362179043442,0.07061460009995035,0.08630259309031313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15290343177392302,0.054893179355783764,0.0,0.052441503932018935,0.11246338797098307,0.050448898707958316,0.05098190542357135,0.07739577990787855,0.0,0.05891833831075295,0.057350659754573326,0.0,0.0,0.12253411395335972,0.0,0.13881161307304302,0.06454561581868036,0.06477041139820389,0.0451493470920141,0.0,0.0,0.24557325637321506
divorce,ArizonaTeaTime,2018/01/07,"Gave him a million chances, finally ready for a divorce and he’s making me feeling very bad about It I’m a 34 year old, married for 17 months to my 33 year old husband. No kids, thank goodness!

4 months after we got married, I caught him responding to and posting on Craigslist personal adds. He sent images of his penis to women, and received several images back from all types of women. We started counseling immediately and have been going religiously every single week since November 2016.  Throughout this time, I’ve caught him in Craigslist still! When i bring it up in counseling ,He says he does It for the easy attention.    I’ve threatened to leave so many times, but this time it’s real. I caught him last month and knew my feelings were done when my reaction to It was unemotional. I found It, confronted him and told him It was the last straw and I want a divorce. 

Of course he’s begging me to stay. Crying etc. Says he will never do any of this again and that he now knows how serious I am. Well I’m done. I’ve already told him I never went to have sex with him ever again because he disgusts me especially because he is so sexually vulgar in these Craigslist posts and responses.  

He’s the breadwinner and holds money over my head. Tells me I will never be able to live on my own. Yadda yadda yadda. Typical response from the breadwinner. 

I just need some guidance on how to stand my ground, and not feel so sorry for him. I am overly empathetic which doesn’t help at all. I want out of this ASAP. ",3.3201726844583987,5.422029714285717,4.392789115646264,83.70871271585558,74.98639455782312,7.3802197802197815,26.953950811093673,8.263242389622931,1.8911903715332288,1192,46,228,21,26,388,167,294,0.07200000000000001,0.848,0.08,-0.2482,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,2,0,0,0,16,7,2,0,8,0,16,2,1,3,6,41,41,19,0,3,3,1,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,4,14,16,0,1,7,0,1,8,6,4,1,1,17,5,33,3,34,21,6,51,0,0,0,1,39,12,0,1,27,144,47,1,0.1172441839419193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938187244123134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973006555488492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015354039976373,0.09789399629866767,0.14294193261964475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878723069745227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026011754621866,0.23996301296759245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13075825719560227,0.0,0.10605407673167323,0.09878328167125633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1778465465837903,0.0,0.0,0.12843527265793667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12855219609937935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06663257162747195,0.09833885887785164,0.09377088435838744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032635767229535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0785863050949395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0644343372941773,0.19113931657088334,0.0,0.1241446620707486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352876243373968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07826140319723986,0.11886720031477754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28074956714303584,0.0,0.0,0.08693507679727272,0.2712778275920367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460560969049118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10237309909909237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22457503786098074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334495493443626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18647456181516325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245255562421482,0.0,0.09698560052472226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312452650002601,0.08298603684659348,0.124966700247029,0.09363135674650326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247658451182952,0.10794269232082454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20509807952785367,0.0,0.0,0.2240636842912512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09673873055634226,0.13830731476200905,0.0,0.0940462122980522,0.0,0.1054166018242268,0.10868653313337416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100282091406078
divorce,Badmom1234,2018/01/07,"Want out, terrified of painful process, advice? Hi all! I am new here and am hoping for some advice hear others experiences in a similar situation. If anyone (men or women) find they can relate to my situation and are willing to speak privately beyond commenting here, please feel free to DM me. I have no one in my real life going through this, so someone willing to lend an ear would be amazing. So here are my details:

Female, early 30s, married a few years, together around 8 total. Year and a half year old child. No property owned. Loads of debt under our own personal names. 

Reason for considering divorce: after many years of ups and downs financially, broken promises to trust him that he would take care of us, I finally let the ship sink almost to see how far he was willing to take it. Which is now we are in a ton of debt, much of it on my cards for his business that he said would be paid back. So now here we are, out of savings, maxed out on cards, behind on payments and my almost perfect credit score is now down the drain.  I am not blaming this all on him, I allowed it to get this far, but I have a good job and nothing has changed over the past 8 years, and now we have a child and it still hasn’t, so I am seriously thinking of leaving. He’s a great father and a good man and isn’t lazy. He did not do this on purpose, it was just poor choices, but none the less, don’t think I am in love any longer.

The idea of being apart seems ok to me, what I’m terrified of is the process and pain for all.  I am just now starting to gather my finances and really organize so o can see what that looks like on my own (plus my child) and will make my final decision then. Finances will be very difficult since we are in debt, but I do have a good and stable job, it will just be getting out from under the mountain I suppose. I don’t want to take my child away from my stbx, so I would want to share custody, as difficult as that would be. We live in Southern California so that makes cost of living very high. Even with a good job, it will be hard to afford an apartment on my own too, so that is scary as well.

So I’m not really sure what my exact question is other than any advice and how you got through it, especially when money is tight? As I mentioned above, I would be grateful if anyone was willing to be a bit of a “pen pal” as I go through this journey, but of course any comments are extremely appreciated.

Please let me know if there are additional details I should add, thank you! ",5.655346576500428,5.075619966469431,6.36724922513384,81.66335059171598,67.28402366863905,9.294139194139195,31.322132995209927,8.634040054169528,2.207977796562412,1941,67,411,26,28,640,249,507,0.095,0.759,0.146,0.9794,8,0,0,0,1,0,61.0,7,2,1,1,32,26,0,0,21,1,62,5,1,6,7,83,93,42,0,14,14,1,3,1,1,15,3,4,0,8,25,29,0,1,10,0,11,3,10,5,1,2,7,10,46,22,72,60,15,56,0,0,3,1,41,31,0,10,23,301,71,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23744771403679216,0.0,0.0,0.16221340048958716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524201843362135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326983830852425,0.0,0.0,0.07210441767192698,0.0,0.0,0.07609925837682356,0.062281620201516175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842764209940958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258174267178515,0.0,0.08568398554208166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349769176409665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792305150466052,0.0,0.0,0.04095446878501775,0.0,0.0,0.17745630036689608,0.07402970366501742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846350795372093,0.0,0.09206481521968952,0.2717454437184545,0.06478062402954378,0.08929937355913646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07255731734661165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09128939845990328,0.0,0.0,0.08557767702976134,0.0,0.08044820238139508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143564661675144,0.0,0.0,0.2411307901566493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0445137806623827,0.0,0.0,0.08576402722345221,0.0,0.1656496458677016,0.05721050927002441,0.03957099640591071,0.0,0.14304350185781653,0.0,0.06801700049581362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310286897201046,0.0,0.10813212589887353,0.08211814856737364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954204469994906,0.0,0.0,0.07822731544339963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771871471768645,0.0,0.08499262651109006,0.0,0.05488559895368506,0.0,0.17237283496799904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773207106855721,0.0,0.07072337313287097,0.0,0.17782055725802087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073507046259813,0.0,0.0,0.09219221021685872,0.10377738260309297,0.08327830821787002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704660463230123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12908809294741272,0.07373654015915375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06700147670420882,0.18208782941369375,0.0,0.0,0.06862841464820768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05733002615305064,0.0,0.06468423285408399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076338624277362,0.0,0.18269877681050786,0.0,0.0,0.07457106772339614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379909225312296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742930366813664,0.0,0.0,0.13366185839336614,0.14332221914251478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072825944811904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3452272638131449,0.0,0.0,0.2607967557298433
divorce,justfoundoutshesgoin,2018/01/07,"I am so tired of dealing with it. I finally retained a lawyer and gave my wife the introduction letter...I know my marriage is over, but I am still having a hard time dealing with watching her get dressed up and go out. She never came home last night and again, I know I can't control her, but I am still having trouble dealing with it.

She will get drunk and be all over me one night, telling me she loves me or how much she wants me all the while texting her new boyfriend. It is such a toxic environment I don't know how to handle it.

I considered leaving, but I didn't ask for this and I shouldn't have to leave my home, my kids and my life because of her. I just can't take the blatant disregard for me as a person and our 20 years marriage.

She is supposed to move out at the end if January, but now, according to a conversation with my daughter, she may be reconsidering...

Has anyone had to deal with anything like  this? It's been almost 3 months and I don't know how much more I can take.

Is it just me? Is it just my problem? I feel like such and fool and like I'm not loser for sitting home or even going out  with friends while she is with this new person. 

I know I'm not ready to date, and honestly even with all the weight I've lost and all the working out I've been doing since the beginning, I worry that I won't meet anyone anyway. I feel old and I feel like I look it. The woman I dedicated more than 20 years to, lost weight and dumped me for someone 5 years younger than her and now has and entire new life that she partially built behind my back while she was still pretending to be with me. My life seems like such shit. I am working on the financial paperwork for the lawyer and hopefully will be done with it next week. Then I can file, but with the house, the kids and everything else, I have no idea how any of this is going to end...or when.

I am so sick and tired of feeling like this...",3.80942404329339,4.219772145728648,4.670452261306533,88.84241592578279,71.26130653266333,7.9321221492075775,26.61422497100889,7.882392219407189,1.2489938925396211,1486,45,338,18,26,482,175,398,0.129,0.754,0.117,-0.8029,0,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,1,0,0,6,23,18,2,0,17,0,40,11,1,5,6,78,69,39,0,5,13,2,7,6,1,5,6,0,3,5,16,35,3,3,11,2,0,5,11,8,0,1,10,9,57,10,42,50,8,46,0,3,2,1,35,9,1,7,37,239,73,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244506610844858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0559895754297969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11513893771111745,0.0,0.0677534214616183,0.0,0.07697066993089696,0.0,0.0,0.06330934780181617,0.0,0.05018971239261826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416754317051884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923439751836928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395287237653101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08425571408605963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877904016531107,0.0,0.14584601355268034,0.0,0.0,0.1087609462801066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07399600402432183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665210827823772,0.17645711860360336,0.0,0.09019227986684496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361062615823224,0.0,0.08603166824046624,0.0,0.14037600631280722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375460729185658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24776151720094014,0.08177570217530487,0.0,0.09500175734208847,0.0,0.09294445350673383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22624157920188,0.06711275795564439,0.0,0.1743584900587345,0.0,0.0,0.17446367086674627,0.2413438153555195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913936931783513,0.0,0.17975339277312946,0.0,0.07430916122742326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657177814376564,0.08750743699955382,0.12104913149477108,0.0,0.06350063924940208,0.2385545031576431,0.08756256766041981,0.15452874763156935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086395115203658,0.0,0.0557912826003402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378080123476147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07878200085156632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495328881191836,0.0,0.0,0.0845141124624456,0.06810708806510431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06976087259760891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19725482004817102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380902923033095,0.0,0.07196307212820925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048009302029760614,0.1892603986749195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04856240728304356,0.0,0.06604293450284104,0.20051994450913802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198794774243976,0.08361362413864905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906014449204078
divorce,finebyme12345,2018/01/07,"How Do I Know If Im Ready To Divorce? Everyone tells me I should do it when I’m ready. My question is, how do I know if I am? ",-3.4250000000000007,-1.9789645483870968,0.7550806451612893,103.45262096774192,97.70967741935483,4.390322580645162,17.427419354838708,5.985473137389443,-0.6533935483870971,93,3,28,1,4,35,20,31,0.0,0.8109999999999999,0.189,0.6553,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,2,0,8,9,5,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,1,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,1,19,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4147943355154175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688947853243493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4771321726116622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862833560492991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.379416297763105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,the_ship_has_sunk,2018/01/07,"first week of separation and I don't miss her A day over a week since she moved out. I saw her twice at her new place within the first few days just to see the kids and their new place but she ended up starting an argument so I decided to leave. Haven't had much interaction with her other then to pick the kids up Friday night for the weekend. And again when dropping them off tomorrow. I know it's only been a week but I haven't missed her not being at home at all.

I thought I was going to be so distraught over this and that I couldn't possibly get through this alone but I actually am really enjoying the distance between us. I feel more like myself rather than being someone that somebody else had expected me to be and behave like. And I can basically do *whatever the fuck I want to* without having to listen to her constant nagging and bitching.

My first weekend alone with the kids was unlike anything it could have been with her. I blew $75 to take them out Friday to get burgers and ice cream and to see Star Wars and get popcorn, pop and candy. Next day went with my brother to take them to get pizza and play arcade games all afternoon, then later burgers and neon bowling. I didn't even think for one second about how she wasn't there with us. Part of me wants to feel guilty for that but part of me also feels releived, because I realized I no longer *have* to feel guilty, which if she wasn't a part of the plan otherwise  is how she would have wanted me to feel. 

This weekend had absolutely nothing to do with her or how she fit into the plans I had made with my boys and she would have more than likely been opposed to the plans I had made with them anyways because it wouldn't have been about her. And it wasn't. And I really enjoyed my time with my them alone more than I would have with her there trying to fucking be in charge of everything.

This weekend with them was I think maybe the first in 10 years without her. Without having to think about her or worry if this or that or the other was going to be suitable for her or if it would meet her expectations or if it would recieve her approval. It felt fucking liberating to do exactly whatever I wanted to do with them and to not have to give a single second of consideration towards her. This is an awful thing to say about their own mother who they love more than anything, and an awful thing for their own father to speak of but I can't deny the truth in how I feel. 

I kept sending her collage photos of the boys having a blast with me throughout the weekend just to rub it in hahaha! 

I know this transition is really hard on kids and it's never what anyone wants for their kids, but sometimes it really actually is for the better and I think I might have made it apparent to them that when they are with me they can forget about all those worries and just be little kids and relax and be themselves and have fun. Because really when it comes down to it, none of that other shit matters.

EDIT: I forgot to add she had taken the kids away from the home without me talking to them, no separation agreement in place and then kept them from me and demanded she get 60 me 40 shared time with them. Where we live it is 50/50 unless there is a court order or any reason why one parent should get them more than half the time. (i.e physical abuse, domestic violence, drugs/alcohol, severe mental health issues etc. which there isn't). With a simple phone call to my lawyer she backed down quite quickly. The fact that she used her own kids as a negotiating tactic against me says a lot about her character. ",5.39506639427988,5.758041101123595,5.752650663942799,82.64051072522986,67.76404494382022,8.607558733401431,28.120020429009195,8.438071523408619,1.8030578651685403,2832,85,568,38,44,907,292,712,0.126,0.7929999999999999,0.081,-0.9898,2,3,2,0,2,0,51.0,3,0,19,10,30,23,7,1,33,2,67,7,1,10,7,134,118,58,1,21,28,4,9,3,0,8,1,4,2,10,38,48,1,4,18,8,0,6,21,10,0,10,29,17,98,13,109,71,20,75,0,2,4,4,81,28,5,13,42,450,136,2,0.0,0.07774193753883701,0.12805972467369664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.070121480797875,0.0,0.2038691490090736,0.0,0.05247154394327515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04461981409032514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045878879736007884,0.0,0.10798956935801217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061646573795928736,0.05045316574401856,0.0,0.11999317474804637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05803030827661644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06699929628932863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652070698946943,0.0,0.07090549426364436,0.0,0.0523874917061331,0.0,0.0,0.126946931108324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05481213175719053,0.0,0.058114586158054427,0.0,0.07317702658636821,0.04333747100289273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058969690654862086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19905865597745967,0.04687470102882208,0.0629997919015322,0.0,0.0,0.2232451601206097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819774369485141,0.20568384453548932,0.06294298980862316,0.07457997024551334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05877731417688512,0.0,0.0,0.06974468266818519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13163251374778226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848403661908256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211954815515252,0.0,0.0,0.06947582073778512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616715335264064,0.06576253039853729,0.0579384213551782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055782731542015886,0.059219255258204234,0.1862568438873232,0.0,0.0,0.06591814725703257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612354476147776,0.06960615388582503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973736700926962,0.048233887305185436,0.0,0.05060561177996064,0.12674094537056968,0.06978130232793625,0.06157435502950737,0.0,0.06295846483081816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08892357687581777,0.04990245299042965,0.0,0.0,0.07285665409881208,0.21316091451885671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20565819753397427,0.0,0.0,0.07396999940767382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978863454748357,0.0,0.0,0.2101702503890071,0.06746218665800499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043578758258985,0.0,0.0,0.10457182918463223,0.0,0.0,0.07412521696313618,0.06735189465423727,0.05427663246899852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055594584209467335,0.0,0.06489398786964573,0.0,0.04644197280433576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986672219704138,0.05273809989820757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08718213829407136,0.16817137346719174,0.0,0.052090238317257474,0.1147802665798117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454764300300094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15785128230087853,0.05666948511459341,0.0,0.0,0.1935043772090196,0.0,0.15789493509507987,0.0,0.0,0.060824895461734564,0.05920648789914677,0.0,0.0,0.25299846823239874,0.0,0.0,0.13326853564598914,0.0,0.2330517454984069,0.0,0.0,0.042253306512471854
divorce,lovekohls,2018/01/07,"Advice Married for 12 years with ups and downs. T My husband has been yelling at me but also our 5 year old son. Yesterday I put a recording device in the house before I went to work. The recording is horrible, he is yelling like a mad man and the children are crying a few times during those 6 hours I was gone. My son is very upset on tape crying. The 5 year old can be heard going into the bedroom and my husband yelling at him to get out and go watch his 3 year old sister, saying he will throw away his toys and all kids of things. Son can also be hear asking him why he pushed him and he starts telling him to shut the hell up if not he will put him outside in the cold. Another he goes to tell him that his sister wants something from up and my husband starts yelling hysterically to walk away, shut up, go to your room. 

Ok today i set up the recording but took the kids with me. He was home.alone yelling hysterically at the computer, swearing. He took 6k out of our bank account and wont tell me what happened to them but I know he bought virtual money with them. I think most of the money is gone by now but he refuses to talk to me about it. 


It is obvious I have to divorce him. This is very shy, quiet, introverted guy. He barely talks to anyone. I have never heard him swear but on tape alone it's scary how he swears... 

I dont know how to bring up the subject...what to do...So far I just arranged things at work so I dont have to leave the kids with him alone.



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divorce,CaptainOfLight,2018/01/07,"Parents want a divorce and I don't know what to do [disclaimer, I'm 15 and have two brothers one younger (14) and one older (16) with autism]

My Dad was talking to me about how him and my Mom are arguing (which I've heard outside my room) and he mentioned how ""a dog is a loyal animal and won't leave your side unless you kick it enough it'll run away."" He used this analogy to describe how him and my mom's relationship is at the moment, my mom being the one who's kicking and my dad being the one being kicked. While this is one of the saddest endings to a relationship I've ever seen or heard, I'd almost be happy for them to get a divorce, if my mom is happy and my dad is happy I don't have a reason to be upset, right? But the part that is horrifying me is another thing my dad said. He mentioned that if they did get a divorce it'd be in a situation where my brothers and I would have to pick one parent to live with and the other would have visitation rights. For me this is one of the saddest parts of it, it'd drive me insane, imagining the other parent all alone for so long, they'd become so depressed and so would I, knowing that they'd be thinking where they went wrong and I can't live like that. I talked to my mom about it and she said that in court we (my brothers) would have a major part in deciding what we want to do, and what I want is for my brothers and I to spend a week with one parent and a week with the other. I told my dad that and he said it'd be disruptive to us, and I see his point but honestly if my mom is happy, and my dad is happy while doing that, I would be 1000% happy as well. All I really need is advice and information because I have no idea what really happens with divorces, and on top of advice and information, how can I ensure that we'd switch off on weeks? I really appreciate the help. ",5.585179948586116,4.2626449151670975,6.828919023136251,80.74517802056558,67.7146529562982,9.733727506426735,29.732776349614397,8.697196308434329,1.9994821593830328,1428,40,316,19,20,489,161,389,0.064,0.8140000000000001,0.122,0.9763,4,1,0,0,4,0,38.0,4,2,5,1,13,14,1,1,21,0,50,0,0,7,3,65,71,40,0,12,7,20,0,1,0,7,0,5,1,0,28,30,0,0,9,0,1,4,5,4,1,9,10,7,50,10,37,39,7,30,0,1,2,0,61,16,0,5,11,237,78,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930320070822596,0.0,0.0,0.06625051740175608,0.06852266999175533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06937540213763592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621602805457261,0.0,0.0,0.040331029753587024,0.07306944212729287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056984228572203165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058598860519674265,0.0683618264613047,0.0,0.0,0.059846261286192824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913260917724029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05850580617960289,0.422576622318356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04434621179275823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07468752740576158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272052719418688,0.0,0.0,0.07005476934535672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03232284112264695,0.0,0.11684245543755467,0.058550255302254176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4649206083773886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049057419396599335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35865834192363977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938551020465098,0.2149372046488452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625433723172542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271529714185897,0.06802435546169278,0.0,0.14206394942181072,0.0,0.11300197988119805,0.18880230876854665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052721618080628634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436754839495698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635514297917437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0439543176630983,0.042393190370504805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06321951125352873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06462952035916475,0.0,0.07958333600831216,0.057141717312075735,0.0,0.0,0.11707012052890152,0.0,0.1592106885737025,0.0,0.05948653452178983,0.06133175508799454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23499378781061886,0.07233648485466992,0.0,0.0
divorce,eastcoastdan910,2018/01/07,"Stuck somewhere between marriage and divorce (part rant/vent, part request for advice) Hi, I would appreciate any advice anyone may have on this subject, I’ll try not to make it too long-winded a post, but it is a little long. Sorry, I’m chatty like that!...

Just over two months ago my wife asked me for a divorce. We met in NC and after a so-so three years of marriage, we moved to NY in January 2017, to her hometown, moving in with her parents (colossal mistake), so we could pursue better jobs and get a fresh start, with our 3 year old son in tow. We argued a lot through the marriage - and the biggest catalyst of our fighting was her codependency/reliance on her parents & family (and my anger & resentment because of it). I’m independent and self-sufficient, she is not. 

At first, she painted me as an emotionally abusive man, and sort of forced me out the door so she could have space; I came back two days later with a piece of paper for her to sign acknowledging that my absence from our marital residence was solely due to her desire for personal space and in NO way was I abandoning our son, and that we would work on a parenting plan in the near future. In time, she acknowledged her part in the failure of the marriage, and we agreed to move forward amicably and not blame the other party (which took me a lot of restraint; her family threw me out like a fucking dog, hundreds of miles from home, no friend or family anywhere close - they didn’t even do so much as to ask where I was staying)... 

Anyway, I continue to take the proverbial “high road” and keep it friendly, even though me and my family want to tell them all how shitty they’ve been. I’m doing fine, better even. I really lost myself in her, and compromised everything so she could stay in her safe little family bubble. I really became someone I’m not. I wrote a whiny post a few weeks back about how much it hurt, but I’m happy to say I’m a totally new man now, and getting thrown into survival mode has changed me in ways I never dreamed was possible...

So, she took it upon herself to have a family friend write up a separation agreement for us (she barely speaks to me - feel guilty much?), and we agree in principle on pretty much everything - the joint custody is fair, I was going to keep the massive credit card debt, she would keep the new SUV we got with her in mind and make payments on it, and I would take the old piece of shit car that’s at least reliable and paid off. Her job is seasonal and she has NO money, she lives rent free with her parents and older (deadbeat) brother, none of which are hardly working at all. Her credit is a dumpster fire and she’ll never be able to get the car loan in her name; everything of significance is in my name. I have her separation agreement in my possession - I’ve made the minor changes I want to see noted on there, but as of now we are only de facto separated, nothing has happened legally yet.

In the meantime, before I got a draft of her agreement in late December, she was splitting everything down the middle with me - half the CC payments, half the SUV, half the phone bill, health insurance, etc.; she could barely afford to, despite me being the one with a massive rent payment (it’s expensive as hell up here by NYC!). She got her health insurance and phone in her name, and is gradually separating her life from mine. We agreed in principle that we would have joint custody but that I would be the visiting parent and thus would pay child support to her. I told her that in January, I would pay her with or without an agreement in place.

Since last month she has fallen way short on her obligations to me, she couldn’t come up with what she owed me for December so I just said “how about I just keep the January child support I was gonna give you, and we’ll be square?” She agreed, no problem. The same thing happened in January - she couldn’t come up with the money she was supposed to - again - and I said “no worries, I’ll keep February’s child support and we’ll be square until March. She agreed to that too. It became clear to me that I’ll be putting my excellent credit at risk trusting her with making my SUV payment every month, so after she couldn’t scrape together January’s dues, I told her I’d like to keep the SUV (in my name already anyway), and that I’d take the payments and give her the older car back (already in her name). She agreed to that too, almost seemed relieved! 

So...I’m paying rent in my own apartment, thanks to being FORCED OUT of my marital home; this cost me thousands I had to get a cash advance for, not to mention the hotel rooms for the first few nights. I’m taking ALL the credit card debt (almost $600 minimum monthly payments) and I’m assuming the payments on a 2016 SUV ($450 a month). She is living rent free in a house with four barely employed adults, she has hardly any money. She almost definitely doesn’t have the money, motivation, or wherewithal to take this to court, we agree on almost everything anyway.

But I believe that she’s getting off quite easy, and if we were to sit down and crunch the numbers, I feel it would be justified to not have to pay her child support for 6, maybe 12 months. We are still a year away from being able to meet the NY residency requirement for a divorce, and I would be fine with paying child support after that point in time. She seems fine with things the way they’re going, but she also has a horrible manipulative mother in her ear, coaching her, and she will NOT even meet me for coffee. Our only communication is through texts and the minute or so I’m in their driveway picking up our son. 

She can’t afford to give me money for anything, and she has cost me thousands; my situation is manageable but I have very little wiggle room. My concern is that she’ll act all nice and say “that’s fine, we don’t owe each other anything” ...and then turn around and be duplicitous and try to say I’m not paying her child support, that I’m a deadbeat etc...
If there’s no separation agreement in place, and we’re still legally married - do I need to pay her child support? Considering I am paying for EVERYTHING else by myself, supporting myself, paying for my own apartment? 

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divorce,MythicPrescience,2018/01/07,"If you remarry, would you do a prenup? I guess this is especially a question for folks who went through contested (and a very expensive) divorce and Custody battle.",7.096206896551722,8.719400172413796,7.1546551724137935,69.59336206896553,64.51724137931035,11.317241379310346,42.086206896551715,11.20814326018867,5.42836551724138,131,8,21,4,2,42,25,29,0.098,0.902,0.0,-0.3818,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,16,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5185431754242156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5273060205623178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883873252703472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4363554457849011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343808403645603,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mydivorceaccount,2018/01/08,[TX] What are some ways one can delay a divorce? I am looking for ways to counter what's coming my way. The delay tactics from the other side have already started.,1.41,4.020190000000003,2.64875,90.32125,86.5,3.2,26.75,3.1291,0.5441625000000001,128,6,23,0,4,41,28,32,0.146,0.8540000000000001,0.0,-0.5574,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,3,7,1,8,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,3,17,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3619468658367575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825357048094695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754303213833439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22225558388246255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321541293080417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7810333511187108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tamtek241,2018/01/08,"Did you forgive? A very quick summary:
Divorced since Nov 2016. Left a cheating alcoholic/drug abuser who betrayed me in many horrible ways. I am 1000 times happier and my life has improved 10 fold since being away from him.  

However, he still makes me angry. We don't speak. I don't know where he lives or what he does. No social media. But sometimes he enters my head and I just think - fuck you. FUCK. YOU. and then I wish him immense unhappiness and I often think if I found out anything good happened to him I'd be pissed because he doesn't deserve any happiness. (so clearly I'm still angry)  He did some horrible things to me. Horrible. Betrayal. Everything in my book is unforgivable. Would I be better w/out that anger? Will it help me in my new relationship? I'm not sure. If I did forgive and let go of anger and make my peace with him it would just be for me. I wouldn't include him in this. I'm just wondering did anyone choose to forgive  Did it help? Sometimes I like my anger... it keeps me firey, passionate and in search of even more ways to better my life.  

This may sound silly but that Kesha song ""praying"" kind of started this whole line of thinking. She prays for this guy who wronged her so intensely. My ex did all these horrible things to me bc of mental disorder and addiction. I know he isn't a bad person.  

I'm not sure. Whenever I think about forgiving him I never want to let him off the hook like that. Granted, again, he would never know I forgave. He's a ghost to me now. Curious if anyone choose to forget and let go of the anger. Wishing better days for their ex's or didn't feel like spewing ""fucks"" at the very mention of their name?
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divorce,Ygolirta,2018/01/08,"any thoughts? Here are the facts

-Married 12 years/Dating 5 before

-2 kids 10 and 8/Wife is 41 I am 46

-Never had a strong sex life. Even honeymoon and wedding night were weak sauce

-Wife is a great mom, works a stressful job. We get along great with no fighting or arguing. She seems to be married to her work.

-We spend lots of time together as a family. My wife will hug me, hold my hand, slap my ass, peck my cheek..it never translates to bedroom. 

-We will talk future plans or vacations etc all the time. She at once seems totally checked out and totally checked in.

-We hardly ever have sex  and I am sick of initiating.  I am also very upset more now than I was 10 years ago with sex life.

-She sleeps almost anywhere besides me (I snore and am a very restless sleeper but still) so we never have sex. She will fall asleep on couch on weekends and during week often with my daughter.

-She is up super early and in bed early. I am opposite. 

-She has never been into jewelry, and does not wear her wedding rings (hasn’t in a while, when asked they need to be resized)

-I look same as I did 12 years ago and in better shape pysically, she has gained weight but looks great to me. (two kids!!)

-I feel loved, but not desired, wanted or needed frankly. 

If we were having consistent sexual fun and intimacy I would not complain at all but then I add all this up I wonder if divorce is in the cards?  I am trying to be patient. But how patient? I wonder if I am in denial? 
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divorce,imlikingme,2018/01/08,"How do I ""life"" now? 28 y/o F, left my stbxw. I'm staying with a friend and her child in Florida!  ...Great! I did it. I left the emotionally abusive and isolating marriage, I came to the state I've always wanted to live in, but I don't know where to go from here. I'm so overwhelmed. I'm not sure how to look for roommates. I know there's Craigslist, but all the horror stories I'm not sure WHERE in FL I want to live.   are scaring me away. Can I do this? How can I do this if I don't know wtf I'm doing? I don't have a degree, ex wouldn't let me work... so no work experience for almost 4 years. I'm so frozen-scared, but not moving forward is giving me even more anxiety. This happened so fast, I don't have a plan. I want to live near a (quiet) beach, away from military bases, and somewhere near a queer community. I know I'm freaking myself out, but I'm not sure how to move forward.",0.15669407894736764,1.9120150312500042,2.5479276315789465,94.79378289473685,83.58333333333334,5.500438596491228,20.521929824561404,6.5966054737557815,0.09501666666666696,674,20,163,7,19,231,103,192,0.163,0.7609999999999999,0.077,-0.9572,0,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,0,0,3,14,8,0,2,8,0,17,2,0,4,4,32,37,16,0,5,9,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,4,6,0,0,4,1,0,6,10,3,0,0,2,2,20,5,20,33,2,23,0,1,1,1,6,14,1,2,5,98,24,2,0.0,0.16100025390973724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606814167028755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130663269678834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395084534337294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553348771080386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554150322108365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15285114768890248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975006355850057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13292057146244668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10498359817491958,0.0,0.0,0.130352261106997,0.07722597690667178,0.0,0.0,0.14981252813687854,0.0,0.0,0.12016172304745774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987130481288691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952766058181666,0.13895053931137,0.0959788483181781,0.0,0.0,0.35996403657883064,0.0,0.11410828983942645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28884625598326463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13604353323899673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483420452890278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3842070277203909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404436126722533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978502594210598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750480490192951
divorce,Superj92,2018/01/08,"Going through the big D and don’t mean Dallas Initiated a divorce last week. After 4years of a deadbedroom, felt fine but worries are creeping in. Feel guilty. Any advice ",3.260161290322582,6.3666304193548395,3.4195967741935505,84.34939516129033,83.51612903225806,4.390322580645162,27.10483870967742,5.985473137389443,1.2346709677419354,137,6,22,1,4,42,30,31,0.226,0.732,0.043,-0.7906,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,6,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,4,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,3,11,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.384956604187578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2678947933583881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19918945053322848,0.0,0.3782471213106625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22388692249088368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211161771852016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4291194865924873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159973647880962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4000683053697264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throw-away248,2018/01/08,"Serving papers question Not sure how to handle this.  Spouse's schedule is very flexible and unpredictable except for maybe 1 hour in the morning.  My lawyer recommends me telling spouse that papers are filed and that my spouse should go to my lawyer's office to pick them up.  I can also tell my spouse that they can get an attorney and the paperwork can get sent to spouse's attorney or arrange for a specific day/time to serve papers.

Our marriage has been on the rocks lately and my spouse has mentioned that we are probably done (with our relationship) and it's only a matter of time until we divorce.  I haven't told my spouse that I've chosen to divorce, but I don't think it would be a surprise and actually my spouse may be happy.

Should I tell my spouse in person about the paperwork, not sure of the reaction and whether my spouse would even go and pickup paperwork.  But it seems like a respectable thing to do.  Or, do I simply let my spouse get served (maybe blindsided because I didn't say anything was official) and deal with consequences.

There has been continuous lies and other things, but right now my spouse thinks everything is okay with our relationship.    

Opinions?",8.024939668174966,7.868024461538464,7.290237556561087,75.59728695324286,62.303167420814475,10.805580693815987,34.25377073906486,10.317481424215053,3.3917327300150824,950,35,171,19,12,294,122,221,0.035,0.868,0.097,0.9122,0,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,5,0,2,0,6,7,0,0,10,1,27,0,0,2,2,39,37,19,0,4,9,12,0,1,0,5,0,1,0,1,12,15,0,0,4,1,0,3,5,0,0,0,7,1,25,7,21,22,0,15,0,0,0,0,34,5,0,6,8,118,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.1420345846226829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11639528302101262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197742199308205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872516724167961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09386690298889194,0.15005437052405696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14894690499267074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613357686310488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080983172239807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281296441690327,0.0,0.1654374179233155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549393511509402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14333620047185378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641853299836206,0.0,0.0,0.14883345840031212,0.0,0.07110776743998272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924465654945312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106963832728664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708755467557892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569261701089391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163047910720316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125297754229203,0.0,0.12429783748217453,0.0,0.11574620812910062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13250211583458818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743559492978579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381648069221024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19339224460567891,0.18652352436882014,0.0,0.0,0.0848706467657167,0.0,0.0,0.1390780682560605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12009296208689495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20678731241568213,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BrokenChewy,2018/01/08,"My Story Sorry. This is going to be long and rambling.

In the summer of 2014, after almost 10 years of marriage, my STBXW started to change. She had a new best friend, almost a decade younger than her. She had lost a ton of weight in the previous year. She had just finished her community college program and was on her way to nursing school. I was so proud of her. I was always her biggest supporter. But I was starting to get shut out. 

I would find out that she resented me for not losing weight to keep up with her. I would find out that, though I was always able to support her and the kids, to her I was not as successful as I could be in a career. The bulk of her energy shifted from me to this new best friend. This new friend was battling her own marriage issues and ended up cheating on her husband, several times. Up until that point, I actually liked that friend. Also previous to that point, my STBXW would have never maintained a friendship with someone of that character. 

Just after our anniversary in that year, there were 2 back to back nights where everything changed. The first night was a Friday night. She went out with a good friend who is a very good Christian (I'll point out that I'm moderately Christian and my STBXW is an atheist). The next morning, my STBXW tells me that she thinks she is ready to become a Christian. It was never an issue in our marriage, but I was so happy for her to feel like she was seeing that light. Then the following night happened.

The next night she was out with her new, younger best friend. When she would go out before, she was almost always home by midnight. Every once in a while it would be 1 AM. This night out with the new best friend saw her make it home at 3 AM. When I woke up and she wasn't there it created this instant panic. When discussing it with her the next day she told me not to control her and that I wasn't her dad. When I asked how she felt about becoming a Christian, she told me that she didn't believe in any of that shit. Our lives, our world, everything possible, changed that night.

The nights out with the new best friend became the norm. Sometimes as many as 4 times per week. Usually at least 2. I started asking her why she needed to go out so much and that I felt like I was being abandoned. She would tell me that I don't care about her happiness and that I shouldn't try to control her.

Our communication was falling apart and she didn't want to discuss issues with me, getting angry if I tried to push so we could try to solve the problems. I felt like something was way off. I started looking for things that she may have been hiding. And I found some stuff. I realized that she had a crush on one of her professors. I asked her about it, and she denied it. I told her that I had read some of her texts so I knew she wasn't being honest. Eventually she kicked me out of the house, the week before Christmas. I was defenseless as her mom owned the home we lived in.

The next several months I was in and out of the house. She would say that she wanted to do marriage counseling, then back out. She would tell me how awful I was, then apologize for lying. She ended up getting a DUI and she thought her life was over. I helped her get through that. I started noticing diet pills and laxatives in places when I would put her clothes away. Then one night I heard her sticking her finger down her throat in the shower to throw up. She was already too skinny, so I didn't understand. I was worried that this would lead to serious health issues. So I opened up to her mom about this and it backfired. Her mom threw me under the bus then told me that it was no big deal for someone to make themselves throw up every once in a while. So I talked to my support system about it. In hindsight, I told too many people. I really messed up there. My STBXW asked me if I had shared anything with anyone that may be considered a full betrayal to her. I said no. Then she brought up her mom confronting her about an eating disorder. I didn't think of that as a betrayal. Then she wanted to know who all I was talking to. I told her. She flipped out and that was the last that I ever lived in that house.

The whole time, I had kept paying for everything to keep that house running. I needed to know my kids were being fed and that everything was as good for them as could be. So I took a really crappy roommate situation, just to have a place to stay. Then I moved in with my step mom for a while. When I realized that my STBXW wasn't putting any money into our joint checking account I asked her what was going on. She had been working for months. But she said she hadn't gotten a paycheck yet. She finally admitted that she had her own account. But somehow she was still using the joint account for her nights out. I was livid. I opened up a new account and transferred everything out of the joint account into the new one and had my paychecks direct deposited to the new account.

Her mom decided to sell the house. I had it worked out for her to let us keep it, but she required that my STBXW get her shit together and make it work with me. That didn't happen. The house that our kids were growing up in was gone. So my STBXW ended up moving in with her mom. I had my own apartment by that time. She eventually couldn't stand living with her mom, so she got her own apartment. I helped her pay for it since she still wasn't making much money. Then I lost my job so I couldn't help for 6 months and she had to borrow more money from her mom, which I found out ended up being over $10K over those 2 years.

So we lived in our own spaces. Shuffling kids back and forth. On a few occasions she would ask me if we could talk about what it would take to spend some time trying to talk things out. We would talk then the next day she would say she didn't know what she wanted. She would kill the friendship with the new, best, toxic friend several times, and we would be communicating really well during those stretches. 

In November of 2016, she convinced me that she had ended the friendship again and was ready to try and make it work, go to marriage counseling and fight to get our family back together. I told her that I thought it was worth the shot. After a few sessions, she didn't want to go to counseling anymore. She really did take a bloodbath in there. The therapist was not very kind to her. But at least she admitted to the toxic friendship as being a same sex emotional affair. And that what she thought what she was going through was a midlife crisis. 

In February of 2017, I was laid of from the job that I had. It was the best money I have ever made, so it was a real mess. My lease was expiring on my apartment, so she asked me to move into her apartment with her and we would figure it out from there. Eventually we moved into a house so we could have the space for everything. In August, she reconnected with the best friend. She seemed different again. In the whole stretch of us reconnecting, the emotional intimacy had been building, but physical intimacy was non existent. I finally said something about it and she told me that she didn't know if she could ever go there with me again. That she was still resentful of me not losing the weight, or that she went this dark place 3 years ago and doesn't know how to get back, or that she can't get over losing the house. In all of these stretches, she has backed out of marriage counseling 5 times. She has backed out of therapy for herself several times. 

Every once in a while I would notice with her texting with one of her bosses. I had a fear that something was going on there. Last week, I asked her straight up if there was someone else. I got the long pause. She said that she had feelings for someone else but that nothing had happened. For some reason, I'm not sure if I believe her. And it really doesn't matter. The energy that should have been spent on us and our family has been going towards pining over some other guy. I asked if it was her boss, and she said why should it matter who it is.

I'm beyond devastated. For me, for my kids and even a little for her. She is such a lost soul. I'm so angry and hurt right now. Why did I give in to her a year ago. I would have been so much farther along in the process. She said she doesn't want to be a wife anymore. That she just wants to be a mom and have really good girlfriends. Then why did she put all of us through this in the last year?

I know things will get better, eventually. But I'm a pretty constant mess. My anxiety has been awful. My sleep has been either kinda good or really, really bad. I'm doing the best that I can to not let the kids see my emotions. We aren't telling them about the divorce until we have a little better plan as we are tied into the lease of the house we are in. And they, for all of these years, have brought up how much their mother has changed and how bad she can be. For the longest time I just defended her. Then my oldest resented me for protecting her. So now I have to walk the fine line of not bad mouthing her and letting the kids know that their feelings are valid.

So that's my story. God, please help me!",3.1067437601438783,4.737795124727672,3.7985351873784574,89.77605934991449,74.3322440087146,6.889643374128176,23.814522378675555,7.5689986474918545,0.9349744162243576,7163,211,1510,90,149,2269,509,1836,0.11,0.7909999999999999,0.099,-0.9812,5,0,3,0,2,0,193.0,27,0,5,29,84,73,10,2,96,2,179,17,7,18,10,256,309,120,1,47,33,14,10,4,11,25,3,9,4,8,105,102,7,9,32,1,19,34,35,28,1,5,134,24,294,45,248,125,39,287,5,8,4,1,263,123,2,23,129,1126,399,21,0.02319134365075672,0.0,0.022631406011598038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0411154537215815,0.0,0.06966834205074954,0.0,0.02559222440790224,0.018546109138708463,0.057891167211703565,0.0,0.0,0.0315418178951492,0.0,0.017741314415329897,0.0,0.045999162403231104,0.01621592670620724,0.0,0.019084499794030763,0.0,0.19512698140968165,0.0,0.02178903077223569,0.14266169400976247,0.05809140973593125,0.0,0.051226034021854064,0.039468250647246,0.05225740525382032,0.2190409593234163,0.041021717669085585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023645120473978046,0.0,0.09813346608028503,0.0,0.0,0.025061603610696703,0.052022127808601264,0.11109840484992807,0.0,0.0,0.02991299616549365,0.02390925697544773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02423001808916012,0.026579289027555398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02373053428001364,0.03874678354397487,0.07826142041275068,0.1027032345954332,0.0,0.0,0.015317663758553668,0.0629336941847717,0.058619121780637315,0.0,0.12505730572097426,0.0,0.04372546963440881,0.02609670918442877,0.03517872051519586,0.016567900537950167,0.06680198037920412,0.05080996677096387,0.04239293590035333,0.019726545062030268,0.0,0.050856222570103034,0.17917574575959358,0.0,0.109048678830992,0.022247250047936682,0.13180175041449202,0.09725899374203924,0.03709647217414257,0.0,0.0,0.0229630763521039,0.061524085799326764,0.04937523311502683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02465131382463404,0.0,0.0,0.06217867518623527,0.0,0.06978842576486992,0.0,0.0,0.24083727159214505,0.02482681303291323,0.0,0.0,0.09682294988459872,0.0460276601806926,0.06184059544400147,0.02565778566613789,0.02415021563215121,0.08921749175096022,0.05671212114831284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07114416043351103,0.01638073187004256,0.0453204762709755,0.04648763784528268,0.102391906643651,0.04104721868378981,0.01947488777748473,0.07783554428769816,0.0759482734602223,0.0,0.0,0.021944210105576633,0.07740200985307435,0.04702476487309527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716142139226014,0.0555333277311287,0.09859491239657647,0.06819322405402796,0.03439217492117543,0.03577318784889864,0.2239834421231018,0.1233212853631859,0.2176350499153137,0.0,0.02225271970689817,0.05280699691515457,0.0,0.07409407231343541,0.06286021861777565,0.0,0.0,0.027210044920031092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.016077957624946584,0.0,0.07269005426748036,0.025457131098738317,0.06576994756406761,0.02614475540281369,0.0,0.023593933931361284,0.0,0.022190983814400825,0.0,0.06994111758332404,0.0,0.0,0.02319761955771029,0.02639682630583087,0.11885574872774493,0.023844563785808598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01980528076239735,0.13236167145676944,0.03688537460691488,0.0,0.023470877901312238,0.036960996592537376,0.02111252825369593,0.0,0.1047984686873279,0.047611161977876924,0.019184119120638613,0.026068041942659104,0.02320809216178624,0.0,0.07859980086612584,0.05356148810667151,0.02293683187172005,0.025960810513752108,0.08207476200598147,0.02471888662524739,0.05556191099092252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02654853999976043,0.0,0.07895178583506783,0.021857566932559757,0.0,0.034874008454081146,0.09320161776997044,0.08108102620244131,0.0,0.026521322610280708,0.026926937451184272,0.04622189467578204,0.029720153171981963,0.022785377387985317,0.055234009081431126,0.12170753084341412,0.0,0.0,0.17728258161197116,0.025766436116187917,0.07872700009542632,0.0,0.0,0.0241430066270996,0.1115853237481254,0.02002987480044147,0.025541988582956587,0.03827057461172631,0.09575198746547883,0.036816418243556866,0.055808090989057736,0.08472242634679855,0.0208518031104359,0.04299721581676223,0.08370632184821969,0.05178461395088288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753429754128276,0.02355193521195349,0.0,0.31301483760949705,0.0,0.0,0.11947571962414667
divorce,forum4um,2018/01/08,"Online divorce for Florida My wife and I have been married for 6 years now and things just aren’t working out between us.  She doesn’t want anything from me and I don’t want anything from her, we have no kids.  Is there a quick easy way to file online?  I’m currently in CA with my family while she’s still in FL.  Thanks for the help!",1.1315714285714265,3.1639124428571463,2.4699999999999998,95.165,81.71428571428572,5.7142857142857135,21.42857142857143,6.868970318607317,0.3524285714285713,261,8,59,3,7,84,54,70,0.032,0.802,0.166,0.8016,2,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,2,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,9,11,4,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,0,10,1,11,10,0,10,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,6,41,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5106762095367965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29250906932468324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20797748500630092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24779398993679705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856687262058294,0.0,0.0,0.20613955675537607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732346327296221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3660282468736372,0.2462897786194747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2258911646514549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1998133573312988
divorce,down_not_out_,2018/01/08,"How should I tell my wife and kids about divorce? I'm late 50's and my wife is late 40's. We have 3 kids and have been married for 25 years. Our dead bedroom started after the birth of our 2nd child and has continued through this day. We have sex probably about every two months. After this had been going on for a while I confronted her and said there would be grave consequences if there was no improvement. She said that she would try, but made no real effort. I brought the topic up several more times to no avail. So I decided once all my kids were out of the house I would divorce her.

-

I am a physician and own several hotel franchises so I travel a lot for business and continuing education. At a trade conference about 10 years ago I met another woman. She was very kind, beautiful, and essentially everything I was missing in my marriage. She was a bit younger, but didn't want any kids so all in all we are very compatible and we fell in love. I agreed with her that I would leave my wife and we would date openly after my kids moved out. My eldest son, who I am very close with, is aware of the situation and has meet my girlfriend a likes her. He is very supportive and simply wants me to be happy. How should I breech the news to my stbxw and daughters and how much should I tell them? I fear they will be very shocked mainly concerned about my daughters. Also, how best to handle lifestyle changes wife will be experiencing as we have a prenup and I was always very smart with asset protection since the db started. For those who seemingly filed for divorce out of nowhere what is your advice?",3.859523809523811,5.557065111111113,4.4205079365079385,85.81171428571432,72.49206349206351,7.8336507936507935,26.56825396825397,8.488131031819089,1.7373073015873022,1270,44,256,22,25,403,173,315,0.077,0.7829999999999999,0.14,0.9835,0,0,0,0,3,0,28.0,8,1,2,2,14,12,1,1,13,0,37,3,0,5,3,55,52,28,2,11,3,7,0,1,1,10,1,2,1,7,8,29,0,1,2,2,2,5,4,5,0,1,15,3,46,7,34,23,10,34,0,2,0,2,48,11,0,3,19,180,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10318904479971414,0.09360616608811896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444660171243996,0.08786591127428682,0.0,0.0,0.07181019245483279,0.11072860439599733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108184801719634,0.0,0.11528555613782655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11170857540473003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06810190898588389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897078434294925,0.0,0.09490458266713823,0.0,0.0,0.1188269943857507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0600137195301231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11241092711519313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184579764918292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996396200976076,0.0,0.0,0.2382380592802774,0.11181292795255254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051589799516024985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977555754892752,0.09530622670266996,0.09991928532395013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428723555262478,0.1122338550333585,0.07762660604588018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11245831613715927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385239540210446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019352743203968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089556732906252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613236130813876,0.0,0.23859113734107704,0.0,0.08735167330614506,0.11869646290177145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494854729027025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983124444117467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845944363570776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157498412721595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169404182139595,0.0,0.10315380338920904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.522775954897847,0.12456875360442365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3750685886386077,0.0,0.0,0.13600316963989992
divorce,jvelez1199,2018/01/08,"First Birthday post divorce 26M soon to be 27 this Thursday. Was married for a year and together for a total of 6, no kids. Got divorced last month.

This Thursday is my first birthday alone and while I have planned the week out to be with the friends that I had been with during the divorce I feel somehow more lonely than I had before.

I've been going to therapy and healing but it's hard to shake coming home to an empty apartment with only my dog happy to see me. 

I was feeling okay until this morning when this dread started to creep into the back of my head. She's happy and with her new girlfriend being all lovey dovey. That's nice I guess. Tried dating didn't work out, hooked up once and ended up just having a really cool friendship. But I'm just feeling empty. 

Any advice to not get swallowed by this void?

tl;dr: First birthday alone post divorce and bummed out. Advice?",2.351609195402297,4.793015885057471,3.0995402298850583,90.05781609195402,79.80459770114942,4.55632183908046,23.459770114942533,5.46131890053228,0.40195632183908003,700,24,131,3,18,220,114,174,0.107,0.737,0.156,0.9249,1,4,0,0,4,0,17.0,0,0,0,5,6,9,0,2,8,2,13,3,1,0,2,27,24,11,0,0,5,0,4,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,8,15,1,0,3,0,0,3,3,3,0,3,8,6,12,6,25,13,3,30,0,1,1,0,9,7,0,2,18,89,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.297393416390187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3152001004988124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347938827823472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11700772032179894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1294836729755249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13107916972679215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13477559125424898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308219831478572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883018073303606,0.0,0.0,0.11756454004732975,0.0,0.07950144588292134,0.0,0.08648052279186927,0.0,0.12170256833710225,0.0,0.16763009452498565,0.0,0.0,0.3239711126240428,0.13631254723180233,0.0,0.1561681631517777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526368080845535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403714594376775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214589639226361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469647035082049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205384448723062,0.0,0.11573054290588587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29146956519706363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974826515436044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125811296811415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10770522096973753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17401725221827655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033120137581938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205990865250438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11078004160386357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799113689250867
divorce,Zerofinal0,2018/01/08,"Online material Hi
Do you have some link to raccomend about divorce ?
I have a lawyer but still I would like to go over things about timeshare, legal terms, how to talk with kids about divorce, any support you found useful

Thanks",2.592142857142857,5.5917925,2.030476190476193,92.97285714285721,88.28571428571428,3.752380952380953,21.285714285714285,5.46131890053228,0.03968571428571455,183,6,33,1,6,53,34,42,0.0,0.677,0.32299999999999995,0.9455,0,0,0,0,2,0,4.0,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,8,9,2,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,3,8,7,2,4,0,0,0,0,7,1,0,1,3,22,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510493400441686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047775925853409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098087216673276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803585908735078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948209079606054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189315444677345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2967261393744631,0.0,0.3398835995071303,0.0,0.0,0.2452611998568568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188457219893774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622489048702814,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,padivorcefault,2018/01/08,"Locked out, police advise I leave, trust gone Wife locked me out on Saturday.  I spent the night at the in-laws.  Wife called to ask me where I had spent the night.  I told her it was none of her business if she was going to lock me out.  Told her I'd call the cops if she wouldn't let me in.  Suddenly, her attitude changed.  She asked if I wanted to talk and I said, ""Sure.""  She told me to come over.  Before I left their house, her in-laws asked me not to tell her that I had spent the night at their place.

I drove home, and she wouldn't let me in since I wouldn't tell her where I had spent the night.  She told me to call the cops.

I did so.  They talked to her for a bit and then called me over.  They said that she was being argumentative with them.  Quelle surprise.  They told me that they were advising that I leave since it would be very easy for her to call in again and say that I had assaulted her.  They made her let me in while they stood watch like a couple of hawks as I gathered up a few necessaries.  They would not let me get my computer since I had picked up my tablet and they also would not let me take my brother's shotgun and my daughter's 30/30.

Contacted my kids to let them know what was up.  Spent the night at my parents' place.  It's old a and dirty but it has a bed.

Today I call an attorney to find out what I can do financially.  
For instance, am I allowed to take 60% of my pay and get an apartment or will the courts look down on that?  Can I get an RO against her since I am the one who is threatened?",1.1294482758620674,2.7265638461538484,2.2145358090185674,99.14615384615387,79.76923076923076,5.83660477453581,18.59151193633952,6.647476241863616,-0.34659151193633964,1170,24,294,11,29,370,142,325,0.047,0.928,0.025,-0.6719,2,0,0,1,0,0,37.0,0,0,12,0,5,5,1,0,18,0,33,0,0,3,1,35,62,18,0,10,8,5,0,1,0,7,0,3,2,1,13,14,0,0,2,0,6,4,7,1,0,1,27,5,72,4,39,20,3,41,0,0,2,0,63,25,0,4,13,201,85,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058810035165794174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20625035243551865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257725518427952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028680222871483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4505563215504202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779573262455114,0.06334833160693099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813707824492423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721436912817222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526508676059408,0.0,0.041794564664841036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376677128881301,0.0,0.0,0.08485546486469317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04041574579672042,0.0,0.0,0.1557368109914444,0.07990159328639045,0.4511987442372029,0.0,0.035928004942876915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617552084093651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06958547252916736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3450622673225649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771680216003461,0.0,0.04983271207712653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08165763893369056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536676189311554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1399070553425704,0.05848208272452825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2433327037324033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06931072551814263,0.0,0.11058608833893348,0.11821758143589947,0.12855467328971834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697074678565311,0.3513538466783516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06067832939776149,0.043375888617647684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672244784366687,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,vin1616,2018/01/08,"Anyone use online divorce mediation? Any referrals would be appreciated.

Thank you kindly.",7.909743589743591,11.29357946153846,9.700000000000003,33.23666666666668,100.53846153846152,10.964102564102564,35.1025641025641,8.841846274778883,6.796456410256409,75,4,6,3,3,26,13,13,0.0,0.526,0.474,0.8402,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33446287409100584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34390062552743783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5121677233124247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528131622554795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4247852495825195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493836009873649,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Sweetness521,2018/01/08,"I just wanna be over it. I felt stronger for a while. Felt better.
Wasn't missing him so much and was feeling like life was going to be ok.

Im not sure what happened.
I have been digging pretty deep in counseling and the more that goes the more i see where i need to work on myself.

Ive been sad the last couple days, crying a lot, missing him more than i have been. We had a long talk the other day, where he said he was sorry for some things he had done and said.
He says he already mourned our marriage, he already went through that while i was being crazy lady....

It pulled my heart strings i guess.


I just have a particular fondness or softness there. I still have love for him.

I hope i gave him some validation because he was right about things.

Im so very heartbroken and sad to miss him and hear him say he misses me, watch him get emotional and have him admit that he kept me away so he could get over me....

I often feel,our marriage was fixable, but he couldnt do it and i need a lot of time to fix my stuff.",1.8893427230046955,3.4239457511737115,2.985563380281693,94.73402582159628,77.40375586854461,5.672300469483568,22.161971830985927,6.139981653823899,0.1186507042253524,787,22,181,5,18,252,119,213,0.087,0.802,0.111,0.4627,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,2,0,0,2,11,14,0,0,9,1,25,3,1,0,1,31,49,14,1,6,5,0,4,1,0,0,1,5,0,0,11,8,0,1,4,0,0,3,3,7,0,0,20,11,31,7,17,24,8,20,0,7,2,1,32,9,0,8,9,122,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923273212543265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444266072489188,0.0,0.0,0.08074128057738036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714269780074595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10575184402291878,0.14655520261053429,0.14549188944011418,0.17084067997328228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554399750397114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.148990249422229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13394304157198722,0.09462346660205928,0.25434866032599923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840101353051842,0.0,0.07527531022938924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459103964891444,0.0,0.1171265336148035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492826064621025,0.15695581208904635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155434847081698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861409653185389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10796575158728096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09355449904300496,0.06470917306319493,0.0,0.0,0.11721551917022655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252112683040709,0.1195427618552285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09736718366914768,0.19642240171419192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347509187571194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311296313449352,0.25198365095190955,0.21066169513917646,0.0,0.0,0.10554679570419168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826874901763132,0.0,0.0,0.10577603796677984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15162542062867626,0.0,0.0,0.12483408805526496,0.0,0.0,0.10645959813814544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17598994703118806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723360706245481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092864612000604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278398236093918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964263597136752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,jules0072,2018/01/08,"Planning while staying together Has anyone out there gone thru the planning of a divorce before actually filing?

I left with our daughter last spring with the help of the police. I filed for divorce. I was in a hotel for a week and with the advice of my attorney, had gone no contact. 

Somehow he convinced me to come back. Since then it has been some good but a lot of bad. He knocked a door down to get to me a month after I came back. I enrolled in school and he threw a fit. He can be sweet but he is selfish and cruel and a master gas lighter. 

I (me personally, not him) have enough passive income to support my daughter. I haven’t worked in about five years but I want to get my masters. I allowed my husband to quit his job eight months ago, we were supposed to travel and renovate the house. We did some traveling but the house is still demolished except for the mother in law where we are living. 

I provide the family health insurance. 

I have asked him to go back to work countless times in the last three months. We are burning thru capital at an impressive rate. He is an impulsive spender. I’m over it. Every day I tell him he needs to work on the house or his resume and inevitably it boils into a nasty argument. 

This weekend I decided I’m over it. But I’m terrified of losing my daughter. I’m terrified of his anger. 

I would like to consult with an attorney again this week and start making a plan. Ideally when I am ready to pull the trigger, I would like to already have housing arrangements made. I have told him I’m not paying off his American Express anymore, so stashing money away won’t be an issue. I just think I should meet with an attorney now to make sure I am legally cleared to cut him off (I pay the mortgage and bills and keep a well stocked kitchen, when we had a fight this morning about his new diet de jour, he said he was going to pay for it on his credit card and will find a way to pay the debt on his own). I would like to buy a townhome but legally I don’t think I can unless he is aware. 

We aren’t talking right now but I think I should smooth things over so he isn’t suspicious. Last time I left it was so scary and there were so many unknowns, I sat in a hotel room with my phone off for a week, crying. I just don’t want to tell him I want to leave because he is so volatile when he feels like anyone is in control except him. 

Has anyone executed anything like this? How did it go, especially with custody and such? 

I’m scared. And lonely. Looking for a friendly ear or advice :) 

Has anyone ",2.309699712400608,4.212756215953308,3.552261884621892,89.49659110133652,77.30739299610894,6.337269497546947,25.570800203011338,7.255503002510835,1.1429669768228732,1981,74,412,24,46,644,247,514,0.142,0.728,0.13,-0.9438,6,2,0,0,3,0,50.0,7,0,0,12,26,24,4,1,35,0,44,5,1,7,2,77,79,34,0,10,16,5,2,5,1,7,1,2,3,1,12,30,3,2,6,5,10,11,9,9,1,3,18,6,60,15,68,52,5,71,0,2,1,0,56,27,0,6,36,278,72,14,0.0,0.0,0.0829405902664519,0.0,0.0,0.16610771629739735,0.07534087804781868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379153012124443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08428989519102736,0.2377154175999656,0.0,0.06994172951718973,0.0,0.07945667777255155,0.0,0.07985341576466659,0.1960623619150829,0.07096533331364496,0.05181074568608519,0.0,0.07232250625058953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09720897766708006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07321366357656475,0.0,0.0,0.09532651186477302,0.0,0.0,0.09336046232194092,0.054813243979024186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08782015304501205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07160999422506757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012352964939816,0.0,0.042974850124256746,0.060718783861207486,0.0,0.0,0.07768176499730625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566512971892485,0.0,0.08881032928198296,0.0,0.14490988724157006,0.07128782317414918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034323887834847,0.0,0.0,0.0569687983513865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922805415482756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871027070359934,0.08434211515656391,0.07554539454192999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2078411213555644,0.0,0.08999497064234566,0.18468957971613745,0.0,0.0,0.20761563881322084,0.0,0.07505008898854701,0.0,0.07137244088191927,0.09508506281969173,0.0,0.07225773275022716,0.0,0.08042212393497894,0.11346654081913853,0.08616923212187627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20352102644969086,0.0,0.0,0.06302099142774238,0.0,0.08208645494708244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421232531720408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040017160753586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725832798892043,0.08084749686381693,0.0,0.08509249456924922,0.08601712444242432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030681888665123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060158252680068365,0.09059088270418753,0.06787525988674788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964486801570522,0.08010459015431612,0.0,0.0,0.06831389254090572,0.14857468796224566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646535652974855,0.16337962247884366,0.0,0.0,0.09911982434058413,0.0,0.0,0.08121414305479918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039264504826574,0.06746322917480897,0.2045279911422287,0.0,0.07641862185730243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18562703854215812,0.0,0.0,0.1811290728620632,0.0,0.0,0.05473249597847302
divorce,Hodges11b,2018/01/09,"They didn’t take the stocks? A friend recently (7 month ago) got a divorce and his ex wife was supposed to get some of his stock. The stock has not been taken out.  

What does this mean? 
Why haven’t they taken it yet? 
Are they going to take it?

He is really happy and thinks they aren’t going to take it and I keep reminding him that if it was a court order, then it will be taken out at some point. Am I wrong?",0.26502525252525544,2.153601613636365,2.03469696969697,97.89010101010102,84.0,5.2747474747474765,14.323232323232324,6.42735559955562,-0.8150419191919185,314,4,76,3,9,103,60,88,0.035,0.872,0.092,0.723,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,0,5,0,12,0,0,0,0,12,25,5,0,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,8,0,9,2,7,15,2,12,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,3,5,50,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20959472573878216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20691510600229895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826772558358588,0.0,0.12353304800093902,0.0,0.2687549252607814,0.0,0.1891071168487328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251700699039116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016368086119408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25755853504977444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18872859296792432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22351748347295305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15147308251637534,0.0,0.23346146895647304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5333329132283224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150476984099184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133553443090278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585161058469934,0.0,0.0
divorce,breakaway_girl,2018/01/09,"Need practical/logistical advice about email, computers, etc. We're in our 50's. Married 15+ years. I had a career but ""retired"" shortly after we married to follow my STBX's career which included international moves. I stayed home and had kids.

He's in technology and finance, so he has always managed our finances, set up our phones, computers, etc. This is my immediate problem - I want to set up a new email account just for me and cannot figure out how to do that without STBX having access to it. Our computers are all networked (he set up and owns the network), our emails use his domain name and our google accounts link to an account under his domain and are all ""managed"" by his account. 

If I go to the public library, log onto their computer, go to google and create a new account, can I later access that email account on my cell phone or my computer from home or do I need to use a ""clean"" computer every time I want to check emails?   

Sorry if this is a stupid question. ",6.324877344877343,6.401023190476196,7.156411736411741,74.35735930735932,65.77248677248677,9.412409812409813,34.11303511303511,9.095868883498916,3.0347312169312186,769,32,138,12,11,257,109,189,0.054000000000000006,0.915,0.031,-0.7227,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,7,0,1,0,4,2,1,0,8,0,12,0,0,3,2,30,21,14,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,6,9,0,0,3,0,9,4,2,2,0,0,2,0,23,0,24,19,5,24,0,0,0,0,26,10,0,5,6,93,29,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774420857693023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109269200806774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4050290097106812,0.0,0.0,0.1529926125102326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639709552245916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36428773602919023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19299538405169744,0.0,0.2692849294530489,0.0,0.350750515482137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737516607964043,0.0,0.0,0.203415984280396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20326876807768865,0.0,0.19354471347897406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10588327119367956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31366108336866644,0.0,0.0,0.21420626098588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504079460912508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693434191091062
divorce,Derpalupagus,2018/01/09,"She is MAAAAAAAAD! So my STBX has had a complete douchebag for a lawyer.  Throughout the last 7 months since I filed, she has failed to disclose her financial info despite being ordered by the court several times, she's been ordered to pay my attorney's fees as sanctions, she lost her parenting time at the temp orders hearing, and she has failed to cooperate with mediation as ordered by the court.  

Her dickbag lawyer had either been advising her to not cooperate, or he'd NOT been advising her to cooperate.  He dragged out the temp orders hearing to 4 1/2 hours, and even said in court that she ""doesn't possess the mental capacity to understand much of what's going on here"". 

 Throughout the process until now, I've been encouraging her to get rid of him since he'd caused so many problems for her, and she had been buying into the bullshit line he'd been feeding her.  He's clearly interested in dragging this out for his own benefit and doesn't give a shit about her or my daughter.

I got a call from my lawyer the other day, who told me that she has a new lawyer now who is reasonable and is interested in getting through this fairly and quickly.  Her previous lawyer apparently objected when the Notice of Substitution was filed, so her new lawyer had to have the judge discharge him directly.

I talked to my STBX a day later, and I thanked her for firing that dickhead and getting a lawyer who will help her instead of fighting for the sake of running up his bill.  She FREAKED -  she let loose a string of expletives and insults that embarrassed even me (and I'm ex-Navy), and screamed ""DON'T EVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT MY LAWYER EVER AGAIN!!!!!""

So, I imagine her old lawyer gave her a huge bill that she can't pay, along with her finally realizing that she was on a losing path.  She has always gotten very pissed off when she finally realizes that I'm right about something, even though I don't gloat about it.  

Mediation is scheduled for Tuesday next week.  I think I'll start gloating now just for the entertainment value.  ",9.742650138589463,7.771801515706805,8.927456113335387,71.07970896211889,60.02094240837697,12.12959655066215,41.31875577456113,10.718039707386858,4.303940991684631,1617,72,297,30,17,510,194,382,0.134,0.79,0.076,-0.9692,2,0,1,0,2,0,43.0,0,0,0,4,24,19,5,1,23,0,33,4,2,2,3,35,53,23,0,1,6,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,15,17,1,0,7,1,6,2,7,13,0,0,18,5,52,6,48,29,3,48,0,4,0,1,59,13,3,2,28,206,67,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10371067426800626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727163276229594,0.0,0.0,0.12803987239537934,0.0,0.0,0.13068293269277328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076530243490011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24697113252540176,0.22548848718875605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27307460708546605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152279044161845,0.19535816177689805,0.11956628692471745,0.07083592746646329,0.0,0.09968619551430123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809572448424269,0.0,0.08354373351646807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12274554121304065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159844077683956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745310215992647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394405600870747,0.1360595584685015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636565232261926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560805817246246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09948665989545256,0.0,0.09162492640659713,0.0,0.0,0.24075666385347635,0.1325563218634941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419037528500208,0.1307889775775316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383982495086375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926388799412488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815093771435065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064420940637116,0.1185614218471544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408080071620154,0.12794142740338368,0.20620740866702944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595415525181697,0.0,0.0,0.08822101178473715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036222630878653,0.0,0.11475199796461452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986444063762654,0.12245841461706823,0.0,0.14535746637716027,0.0,0.0,0.1190991019906834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12975489785843766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284126116575616,0.0,0.0,0.09997889185615373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FridaKahlosTinyQueef,2018/01/09,"Divorcées: What did you do with your engagement & wedding rings you got to keep? My STBX and I are in the process of getting divorced. He told me I could keep the rings since they were gifts. 

Divorcees: What did you do with your engagement & wedding ring? 

Esthetically, they're gorgeous rings, and I appreciate them. But, I am not sure what to do with them.",3.098319327731094,5.710471352941178,3.2956302521008425,88.73676470588238,78.11764705882355,6.8268907563025225,27.36134453781513,7.957251820313856,1.7198168067226889,284,12,57,5,7,87,44,68,0.027000000000000003,0.794,0.179,0.9021,0,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,5,3,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,9,0,0,0,1,11,14,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,4,14,4,7,8,0,1,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,0,0,39,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6283982585538567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315297968102593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15150543632180186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319278663755422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5155048091686217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398789725911071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27330786814616337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2770935380714726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Sweetdimples12,2018/01/09,Seperation My husband and I are separated and my kids keep saying that he yells  too much and is mean to them.  My son asks me why is daddy like that.  How can I answer them without bashing their father but so they know that the behavior is inappropriate?,2.7906122448979573,5.299474591836738,4.366693877551022,81.21044897959185,78.59183673469387,7.185306122448982,24.08571428571429,8.238735603445708,1.6600906122448982,201,7,38,4,5,67,39,49,0.0,0.963,0.037000000000000005,0.1901,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,4,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,10,9,6,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,3,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,10,1,2,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,11,0,0,0,1,29,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722363014178289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539128370548738,0.0,0.0,0.21882446585080725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452632472139528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337251397274796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29270162932131905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31664170143993897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3592875557556431,0.0,0.0,0.3838228059396942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,idk_anything_anymore,2018/01/09,"Staying financially afloat during divorce Hi there,

Seems like since we separated (son went with her) money seems to be draining much faster and it's hard to stay afloat. Luckily we (I) have no debt other than a car payment and I pay rent. She's living with her family but it seems like now that we are living separate lives the amount of money spent each month is up quite a bit.

I want to of course financially support her and my son while also surviving myself. 

What worked/has worked/is working/ for you? I'm already trying to shrink my spending so that more goes to her and my son but even after it seems there's little left to put into my savings. 

We're ok right now but I really like having a rainy-day / savings cushion and that has been pretty much depleted. So if something happened like I lost my job or something like that all of us would be SOL, at least until I could find a new job. No matter how much hurt and loss I feel for my STBXW, I don't want her to end up on destitute and especially not my newborn son. I want to provide for them until she/they can stand on their own two feet again.

Any tips / experiences would be greatly appreciated.",4.072314578005116,5.403891239130439,4.923861892583123,83.85829923273661,71.3913043478261,7.672634271099745,25.703324808184146,8.124751697461798,1.4579872122762154,915,28,183,13,17,297,143,230,0.077,0.752,0.171,0.9717,4,0,2,0,1,0,25.0,4,1,2,5,10,13,0,0,5,1,14,1,1,1,1,37,28,19,0,7,6,4,2,5,0,2,0,0,1,1,9,14,0,0,6,0,7,3,4,3,0,1,4,2,30,10,26,18,10,26,0,3,0,0,20,9,0,6,16,119,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719815777263366,0.09217764265795952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838437693255071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258398867663524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920299866810693,0.0,0.0,0.07433660210747049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020908697080351,0.0,0.0,0.07613166329016134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275161030185547,0.10866189465583714,0.0,0.05828161412117035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10535042329953312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12708043311111838,0.0,0.0,0.10192875054012393,0.0,0.10325509515116732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12339391960696805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22876610834035746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523611817253802,0.0,0.0,0.2815640895045865,0.1155261418248484,0.3053441941188603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12582572368047806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200368661196917,0.0,0.2541998401740278,0.0,0.0,0.11132397385838322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726627911842323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587349302354236,0.0,0.12259886661347855,0.0,0.0,0.07384192185629274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09843596191540348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4197329090258513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09534867199283076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774737645867621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457150102162446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308017303878082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07825759277112412,0.0,0.11259747858177238,0.0,0.13864999959559862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039594339485032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068521155893694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391453295348976,0.0,0.0,0.16376236644067013,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bemine1937,2018/01/09,"am I smart or an a hole? So I have a husband who has repeatedly over the past 15 years made move on my friends. Last year was the last straw. However, I am in no place in life to leave him. So, although he knows I'm pissed and go through waves of crappiness, I am keeping our marriage going while I go back to school. I'm slowly trying to be more independent with house stuff, etc. 

Some days I get sick to my stomach about it all, and other days I think well, I'll just keep him away from my friends and things will be okay.  But having a plan to do the right thing without telling him the end game. Am I evil? ",2.9756423611111096,3.7089182656250017,3.6926041666666656,93.91975694444444,73.375,6.938888888888887,25.159722222222214,6.937597516519254,0.6394399305555556,470,14,113,4,9,149,92,128,0.118,0.785,0.097,-0.5803,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,6,7,2,0,8,1,12,4,2,2,1,16,23,9,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,6,4,0,2,2,1,0,4,2,2,1,0,2,0,15,5,16,18,4,22,0,0,0,0,12,7,1,2,11,74,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16185815556815356,0.13246894104665569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220641374436256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258463119600738,0.0,0.1921323088034053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661986761536024,0.0,0.09000664502158105,0.0,0.2937237793513136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878236989698989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3062521021833535,0.0,0.0,0.09467790605398199,0.28085444838051826,0.0,0.18241448808537408,0.0,0.0,0.1216830190868336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16301089342691433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1831011993572502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16445610490465734,0.0,0.0,0.17999084393839926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712201970891747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435162887155514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972138073651296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15057605693759035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289038827928829,0.11038694712730504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696350482093595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15489603126477855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606707764985534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218790708922159
divorce,IWvet,2018/01/09,"Question, I'm unsure of how to proceed My spouse turned out to have a previously undisclosed drug problem.  Long story short, she took off over a year ago and I have not seen or heard from her since.  I have no reliable contact information for her, as her phone is not in service.  How would I go about obtaining a dissolution, not knowing where or how to serve her?",6.631,6.615883385714284,6.743571428571433,77.8839285714286,65.14285714285714,9.857142857142858,34.64285714285714,9.516144504307137,3.0405714285714285,287,12,56,5,4,92,53,70,0.103,0.897,0.0,-0.7096,0,0,1,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,3,0,5,1,0,3,0,15,12,7,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,3,2,9,0,12,8,0,12,0,0,1,0,11,6,0,3,4,40,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284172880461108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37176847562620624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821917535860361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618117710378514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28370126831816683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067496632048134,0.0,0.0,0.35912050787015193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651852720165579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3561737355465866,0.0,0.34869659423963106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22772927395312664,0.0,0.0,0.206441595054904
divorce,iTherapy,2018/01/09,"We are licensed mental health professionals here to answer your questions about Divorce & Dating after Divorce. AMA! Good morning!

We are licensed mental health professionals here to answer your questions about Divorce & Dating after Divorce.

This is part of a large series of AMAs organized by [Dr Amber Lyda](https://www.dramberlyda.com/) and [iTherapy](https://itherapy.com/) that will be going on all week across many different subReddits. We’ll have dozens of mental health professionals answering your questions on everything from anxiety, to grief, to a big general AMA at the end of the week.

The professionals answering your questions here are:

Jacqueline Schatz	u/JacquelineSchatz	AMA Proof: https://ashevillerelationshipcenter.com/blog/

Dalila Jusic-LaBerge	u/dalilaj	AMA Proof: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bdn7QQjg11C/?taken-by=behereandnow_counseling

What questions do you have for them? 😊

One disclaimer the mods of r/Divorce asked me to make - while these professionals are donating their time to answer questions in an effort to help, there is a marketing element to this for them as well. They are working to build their online footprint. 

(The professionals answering questions are not able to provide counseling thru reddit. If you'd like to learn more about services they offer, you’re welcome to contact them directly.

If you're experiencing thoughts or impulses that put you or anyone else in danger, please contact the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or go to your local emergency room.)",10.005584415584416,13.886804623376625,7.549350649350648,60.52974025974029,61.20779220779222,9.421645021645023,35.675324675324674,9.842372674337009,4.385498701298701,1272,57,156,29,21,369,139,231,0.065,0.855,0.08,0.4106,1,0,0,0,5,1,70.0,3,8,7,2,8,6,1,0,10,0,15,4,0,1,3,29,20,8,2,2,6,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,15,0,1,3,1,2,1,2,1,1,19,4,36,15,3,23,0,1,0,0,36,11,0,12,10,102,25,10,0.0960888957996204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20822455690674416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350774227983609,0.0,0.0,0.06718759012120401,0.09845442900706626,0.0,0.0,0.08983014652517933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003924446316527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026994258277838,0.0,0.08510624098317426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08635850369693056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921906770479388,0.0805948068899389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064140087469721,0.0,0.0,0.12881272277498362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04694418085009101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641400840887507,0.0974190585922576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905050198495865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511232259399205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405491035644998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10547675263412892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659588020972262,0.7534908799071848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051056561459104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628385003108328,0.05603020786718943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15415343243521892,0.0,0.08639545713633108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995386055534926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,jbtrumps,2018/01/09,"Ex's birthday/presents and kids Do you guys help your kids make/buy gifts for your ex?  I'm feeling kind of lousy as it was my birthday yesterday and didn't get anything from the kids. They're 3,5,7 so obviously would need some direction from their mom to facilitate this.  She had written me a check recently for household business and this morning I noticed it was $15 more than expected with ""bday"" in the memo. We're on somewhat good terms (some days more than others) but this feels like a slap in the face.  For Christmas I took them to bath and body works and had them each pick something for her.  ""They"" got me something as well, which was fine, but I guess I kind of expected something for my birthday... Even a drawing for the fridge, you know?",5.000342465753427,6.054530541095892,4.571123287671238,88.29408219178086,68.93150684931507,7.757808219178082,31.03835616438357,7.908726449838941,1.8934487671232882,593,24,122,7,10,179,97,146,0.016,0.875,0.109,0.8754,0,0,3,0,0,0,24.0,0,4,4,1,3,6,0,0,7,0,8,2,2,1,1,22,18,10,0,4,2,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,4,7,7,0,0,3,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,9,2,18,6,20,8,7,8,0,0,0,0,18,3,0,4,5,76,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15990689174008346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21584313404842426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12531882656293775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283449934127256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19650571279272971,0.13882058771648398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152296638879163,0.0,0.0,0.16298444864582926,0.15541359804842872,0.0,0.21406282946441332,0.1924050514231272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024704326619346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047039176576125,0.10679191377230986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09493380191890896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12970855871120854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22758251549445505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14408409576305894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212319638964736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19186526398802828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4487857251983202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589408970769886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17471492879309966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146558361794548,0.0,0.0,0.1380377029329686,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chiasm102,2018/01/09,"Divorce is so shitty. Do you ever feel over it one minute and then suddenly get snapped back? My mind wanders and I feel like I’m back with her. The love of my life, my very best friend. We’re going on a hike in the rain, or cuddling our dog, or spending the afternoon getting high and baking. I see her dark almond eyes blink over the covers, almost disappearing completely when she smiles that toothy, groggy morning smile. I miss her body next to mine and her soul intertwined with mine. I miss how carefree these days were, how bulletproof our love was. 

But as I shake my head vigorously, like an etch a sketch, I realize as I have a hundred times this month that I’m alone and she’s never coming back. That I will never touch her, or smell her, or share any semblance of that old love ever again. I wonder if she ever thinks of the good times, or if she’s buried them in her anger and new perception of me. I wonder if she remembers us the way we were before it all went bad. 

I take comfort in knowing that I’ll find love again, but I wish I could feel the love I shared with my former wife, in all its beauty, just once more. 
I try to remind myself that pain is found when wanting things to be other than the way they are, but It’s hard to cope with the impermanence of something you thought was eternal. My first and only love. I miss her terribly. I wonder if she misses me. ",3.817841726618706,4.91320132374101,4.389992805755398,88.34592446043169,71.73381294964028,7.286618705035972,23.971942446043162,7.554174236665415,0.9087922302158278,1080,28,228,12,20,343,161,278,0.093,0.726,0.181,0.979,0,1,2,0,1,0,32.0,4,2,2,2,14,24,1,1,13,0,12,13,3,2,7,54,43,27,0,7,13,1,5,2,1,1,2,0,1,0,14,13,1,0,14,0,1,5,2,9,0,2,7,8,50,15,23,33,4,40,1,4,2,7,33,8,0,13,27,154,64,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007108427896688,0.10416485962244132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683941149559312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320067679440601,0.08397551400152295,0.0,0.0,0.08558149948270383,0.0,0.1055467422245122,0.0,0.0,0.11171560658107324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663603401401143,0.1054504591595272,0.0,0.0,0.08030056160137736,0.0,0.0,0.0648622379730921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729262041257711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525604810044193,0.07185044931384657,0.0,0.0,0.09192327915044143,0.08554862596320707,0.0,0.11027475791808976,0.07770361615511685,0.0,0.10509205976863982,0.0,0.057158811196028426,0.08435712641044986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009500520277654,0.0,0.10321846196404197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062624906652221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05527311988692079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07103875003693269,0.09827124974972813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5446345262938868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10155158350408043,0.0,0.08027761353417605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513852310040555,0.09713548749609968,0.10696213129732213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10553602872518406,0.10710856967098537,0.06815189017625227,0.0764914461432156,0.10701836858901212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393131284997772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08014486223460664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742717064175743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07561951410382589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681723478854099,0.06444408433621142,0.0,0.07984492585155903,0.11729160997459555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828348971592116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097875089497895,0.0,0.0,0.08298450292639895,0.05932145119438852,0.15966272774675536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09323357744097804,0.0,0.0,0.1156557218281326,0.0,0.3272062943152177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,wastedtime666,2018/01/09,"F me. It's really happening I'm shocked but not really.  Probably should've happened years ago.  I guess I'm most surprised it came from her.  

Time to start the slow painful process and telling the kids.  This sub is helpful and I'm sure I'll be reading a lot.  

I guess my first question is how to go about finding a good attorney that isn't outrageously priced?",1.779166666666665,4.2677952500000025,2.8338888888888896,90.77500000000002,82.6111111111111,6.933333333333335,28.44444444444445,8.07648339933343,2.039244444444445,286,14,60,6,8,91,56,72,0.076,0.7140000000000001,0.21,0.8747,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,4,0,4,1,0,1,1,13,14,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,2,1,1,2,2,3,0,1,1,0,5,3,4,12,2,8,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,5,6,29,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851046619018794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23883229677083875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19085597644138347,0.1776205841689468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11867614845628904,0.17514672974738313,0.0,0.0,0.4600733978324036,0.0,0.3693143435498992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996638254065394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752969619013365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221971999148564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22514124911158548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339240820006168,0.0,0.20887462676373075,0.0,0.267548466475949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1478025384291933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968086045916823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825162388270372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12176352365240795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344720213734561
divorce,Psydstudent,2018/01/09,"Online study of emotional or physical infidelity and divorce Recruitment Notice:

Seeking Volunteers for Student Research on marriage and infidelity. 

Are you currently in a marriage or were you in a marriage (now divorced) where infidelity took place? 

Did you or your partner engage in infidelity during the marriage that potentially resulted in divorce? 

Are you over the age of 20 and have been (or were) married for more than one year?

Has more than a year passed since the infidelity in your marriage? 

If so, you may be eligible to participate in this study entitled “Characterists of emotional or physical infidelity that might lead to divorce.”  The purpose of this study is to better understand infidelity and to develop treatments for couples where infidelity has taken place in the marriage.  
To participate in this study you must meet the following criteria.  
•	Must be over the age of 20
•	Must have been in a heterosexual marriage for this study
•	The infidelity was discovered by or disclosed to the other spouse at least one year prior to participation
•	Participant must have been one of the spouses in the marriage
•	Participant can be divorced or not divorced from the marriage to participate 

If you do meet the criteria, you will be asked to complete a demographic questionnaire and an infidelity questionnaire about your experiences with the infidelity and marriage.  Participation is estimated to take 10-20 minutes depending on the time you spend considering your answers.  Most questions are multiple choice.

You will NOT be asked to provide your name, address, or other identifying information.  Your participation is completely anonymous; therefore by participating you will not be added to any databases for further questions or information collection.  You will need to complete all multiple choice questions to complete the study.  You will see a screen upon completion confirming that you have finished the study.

Approved by Alliant International University Institutional Review Board.

https://alliant.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0j0NPMApzpZ22Mt
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divorce,forgotpasswerdagain,2018/01/09,"Just had the chat Married 11 years, together 15, 2 kids it's been tough for awhile, but I finally zoned out, she wrote me a note this morning saying I didn't love her they way she wanted to be loved, and it's over and we talked tonight and I confirmed I'm not sure about our marriage, I told her I think we'll be happier apart.

She's upstairs crying, I'm here writing this. I'm crying a bit too. 

I've been thinking about the next stage for a month or so, my guess is she hasn't been. We'd talked previously about separating and I indicated I wasn't going to leave the house, but live in the basement - is that a good idea? We also own a rental property where the lease runs out in May, I could move in there or sell it and buy a place closer.

I care for her, but I think we're done, is there a way to communicate that ?

",1.1562357142857138,2.8631317485714334,2.8356250000000003,94.2134375,80.08571428571429,6.203571428571429,20.651785714285715,7.1686216300943375,0.2580357142857137,636,17,152,8,16,210,107,175,0.097,0.787,0.116,0.6294,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,5,0,1,0,11,6,0,0,12,0,17,2,0,0,1,27,31,12,0,2,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,7,9,0,0,4,1,2,3,4,1,0,0,9,1,25,5,15,16,2,21,0,0,0,2,24,10,0,4,5,94,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223638467445994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18052763331748045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685930576211768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13202456007148122,0.0,0.36327504025625773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16921819951350886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114112941345512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397651463293212,0.13869407985613566,0.0,0.0,0.1821599999916768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908004282252865,0.0,0.18666856304976429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17508978517170218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601375903931654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29848331609699313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13198683046640342,0.1757489221203611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17585964590059286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276346045111382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13149897234243346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558475477160386,0.0,0.0,0.26581629359634124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31786335166372515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15800623922508172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975321758721878,0.2625062760484665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648485014642277
divorce,dead_pirate_robertz,2018/01/09,"This seems so wrong to me. :( Tonight I met a prospective tenant. She is 73 years old, and has a son in 9th grade. She had a good job teaching in the public schools, but at her husband's request, she quit her job to raise their son when the child was 5. Her husband divorced her; the decree was handed down a couple months ago. Her income is about $2000/month pension from the school job. The husband makes about 90K/year. The wife didn't have the $$$ to pay for an attorney and represented herself. The Court gave 90% of custody to the Dad and ordered Mom to pay $350/month in child support. That $350 puts the Mom's income below the threshold I look for as a landlord, income at least 3 times the rent.

I told her that she should be getting *alimony*.

She says that she is up for a job at the grocery store working the deli counter for minimum wage, 15-20 hours per week. That would make her eligible according to my 3-times rule, *if she gets the job.* She wants to move because where she's living now, her roommates are shooting opiates. 

She sees her son for one weekend afternoon per week.

My heart goes out to her, but I'm retired and cannot afford to rent to anyone who can't pay the rent. I'll have to think hard about her situation and whether I'll accept her as a tenant.

Terrible decision by the Court? What do you think?",2.866030303030304,4.458472781481484,3.6622895622895615,90.66484848484848,74.8888888888889,6.390572390572393,26.346801346801357,6.980632752743323,1.0304074074074072,1041,38,222,10,22,331,157,270,0.06,0.905,0.035,-0.5355,13,0,0,1,1,0,46.0,0,1,1,2,7,5,0,0,25,0,17,2,2,2,0,20,32,13,0,4,4,10,2,0,0,2,0,1,6,2,7,6,0,0,5,1,8,2,3,2,0,1,7,5,31,3,34,22,1,27,0,0,2,0,45,11,0,2,13,129,38,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501550948326337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283619177972226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072217526473194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13108355662215784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379019489266295,0.0,0.0,0.09936607144178107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061248421380288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403861870112307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166679779137172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5878103908240202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461018687483573,0.0,0.09948401766066027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15815778767354471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27749862862883584,0.28368217675410823,0.1259136653081538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431315546435498,0.0,0.08027757554466687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11909394046949742,0.0,0.12600623094297314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421120421183564,0.0,0.2397936520430025,0.0944043549770457,0.10784961421344562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316397889596854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443707517255835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518201427818883,0.0,0.0,0.13816030716301675,0.0,0.0,0.11320208671756116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06987601176373813,0.0,0.19005717082084006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0862467517921302,0.0,0.0,0.08415688960056933,0.12952711700859326,0.0,0.15258014239817905
divorce,Willson82,2018/01/09,"Divorce question Hi all. I have a question about divorce, the case is as following:

I am a man who is married and lives in the USA, my wife and I reached a level where divorce is a must. we have a joint account for our money, at same time I have another account for business with my name only . I use the business account to send/receive money to another account in Canada where I do most of my business. currently most of the business money is in the Canadian account, in case I ask for divorce, does the US government have any authority to where it will get the money from Canada for divorce purpose?

Thanks.",6.157893462469738,6.362056338983053,6.984285714285715,75.01313559322035,66.11864406779661,9.115738498789346,39.73849878934625,8.841846274778883,3.7313108958837775,480,27,84,7,7,160,63,118,0.0,0.948,0.052000000000000005,0.5574,1,0,0,0,5,0,13.0,3,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,12,0,12,0,0,1,2,13,17,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,13,1,18,15,4,12,0,0,0,0,16,9,0,4,2,66,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725263849470892,0.515794502395071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299275808724341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152301918891112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849734434369176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21717602458529492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18705404986923194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5510346611374399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22643528474779165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14341388330109675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29584439102716464,0.21241955173469693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lonelypenguin18,2018/01/09,"Looking for advice/recommendations So Wednesday January 31 would have been me and  my STBXW' s 2 year wedding anniversary with our 6 year together anniversary coming a few days after. I've been a little more depressed than usual knowing it's coming up and coming out of the holiday season, but I'm really trying to push myself out of it. I know it will be easy to have a pity party. What are some things y'all have done to get through the no longer important dates? I've decided this year I'm focusing on me and trying to do some bucket list items, but I know I'll eventually have to go home and I can easily get in my head. Any suggestions, advice, or recommendations welcome! TIA! ",5.223851294903927,6.246966105263161,6.675588972431082,73.52277360066836,68.3984962406015,10.121637426900586,29.063492063492063,10.25414643259724,3.0514835421888056,544,19,99,14,9,186,92,133,0.056,0.7659999999999999,0.17800000000000002,0.9579,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,5,0,13,1,1,0,0,20,25,8,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,10,0,0,4,1,0,5,1,2,0,0,3,1,10,1,17,19,5,20,0,2,1,0,5,6,0,3,9,65,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037147217324468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248123462335235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5034489629601516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256398942020922,0.0,0.16779432256168206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1993639162381098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035661377624589,0.0,0.11071814997141433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19993692857537226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954158516055184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32119654602543296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952563316717861,0.0,0.0,0.16359597189286906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12480381113318917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12942677545587075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645339011341857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21456177278393693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138391356415135,0.0,0.0,0.37636442426852
divorce,Amarie98765,2018/01/10,"This might help you too. I F[54] am still struggling so much. [Married 30yrs, separated 1.5, divorce final this month] 

I don't feel any better or different than I did a year ago and have very little reason to even get out of bed.

I wrote a friend asking what was wrong with me and he said something that struck a chord so I thought I would share it. Maybe it will help.

""The only positive thing you felt in a bad marriage was that you had a sense of security and you could still say you where married to all the people around you and in someways that feels comforting.""

He is right. Now if only I could do something about it. 

[Edit]
I notice this getting downvoted so I want to explain that I was in a severely emotionally abusive marriage.  My friend was trying to help me understand why I stayed in it. It helped me.",3.0948482142857148,5.092963931250004,3.912142857142858,87.37000000000003,75.3125,6.821428571428572,25.17857142857143,7.7094869923839395,1.2916696428571428,639,22,128,9,14,204,102,160,0.122,0.7340000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.4017,1,0,2,0,1,0,22.0,0,6,0,1,11,9,0,1,8,0,16,0,0,1,1,23,28,9,0,5,2,0,3,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,14,7,0,1,7,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,10,5,21,6,15,13,2,17,0,0,0,0,23,9,0,3,7,91,35,1,0.0,0.1648069154972655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330088524727595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459056672744096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382560675170172,0.130036694050008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161399846426898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230197807669364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221148891333776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14532650911171974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564651332472306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187209822074344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14066300263521495,0.0,0.13355470302080213,0.15237370173920925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21493162368194785,0.0,0.1453446323338624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3729345051562156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941149569193284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397413914375228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14755968123151092,0.0,0.0,0.11102570688453192,0.0,0.10225212338242994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15836258334833908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115787080555192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09643217956675636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14301463595826025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187878731491477,0.13231287173223502,0.1106153265997586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571397466413442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21416696321972015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825863889811491,0.22216570465539565,0.0,0.0,0.1454141348445124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240970673984103,0.0,0.0,0.11042729029355626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443756958501648,0.0,0.0,0.14480463281813086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11476939450800425,0.08204287300430704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255131909107616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881034752358384,0.15208047143962442,0.0,0.08957375306477575
divorce,throwawayabay,2018/01/10,"Divorce Source Radio (podcast) (x-post from r/survivinginfidelity) Hey all,

I just wanted to share a resource that was recently shared with me by another reddit member, and after listening to a few podcasts, I'm really feeling like it will be an excellent resource for me going forward.

http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/podcast-archive/

I use Podcasts on my android phone, and download the podcasts that pertain to infidelity, divorce, healing, and dating after divorce that I think would apply to me and my situation and listen while I'm driving.

I would highly recommend it. There are a few series with a guest speaker David Feder who seems pretty spot on when it comes to healing from infidelity, as well as numerous other speakers who cover all things related to divorce.

Just wanted to share here and hope it helps bring healing and progress for anyone who may benefit!",11.94714285714286,11.349554190476189,10.580952380952386,56.60571428571429,54.714285714285715,12.20952380952381,44.80952380952381,11.20814326018867,5.476131972789116,714,35,94,14,7,224,95,147,0.0,0.778,0.222,0.9845,0,0,0,0,5,0,27.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,0,6,0,7,3,0,1,2,24,21,11,0,5,2,0,1,1,1,4,3,4,0,0,12,10,0,0,3,1,0,5,0,0,1,0,1,5,9,8,20,15,4,14,0,0,0,0,16,4,0,3,8,72,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509727608919493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16735469518198992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20617342324227145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101937713000452,0.17098720255517794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13602455268021565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16042705145906225,0.2528797827836341,0.0,0.2377223202315493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11693125266976614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292251246054855,0.24349861051823346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332971682204954,0.0,0.2363230504673057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21788953504988026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690323712202704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900933352637234,0.15336179254421473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20671612868589045,0.0,0.0,0.2823422563980342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21519874977025388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3400458254773449,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,maelstromlv,2018/01/10,"Boundaries Between My Ex and My Family My ex (divorced for 5 years now) still reaches out to my family to stay at their houses while she is on vacation with my kids.  Sometimes she even reaches out to my wife's family to stay with them.

They say yes, are weirded out by it and then contact us to tell us how weird it is and to apologize for not knowing how to respond to her.

Does anyone have any experience with this?  And what did you do to better establish boundaries?",5.0587096774193565,5.6832948172043025,5.934569892473121,80.12185483870971,68.56989247311829,9.210752688172043,31.62903225806452,9.2995712137729,2.7333741935483866,370,15,72,7,6,122,61,93,0.018000000000000002,0.8809999999999999,0.101,0.7236,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,2,1,3,1,5,3,0,0,0,1,6,0,0,2,0,14,7,8,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,10,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,15,1,21,6,0,12,0,0,0,0,19,5,0,0,5,58,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019170895814036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338654111338171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932085352499412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16753808342651846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12645008785488965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187273604861493,0.5414425036272021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.220906142749758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10521522125351136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15224772305764805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893477002112817,0.0,0.0,0.4081177697469874,0.15289121189176927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673346381059255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4605785259970696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328671233042215
divorce,CypherVI,2018/01/10,"Aftermath I have been divorced for about a year now.  The legal process was easy. Non contested agreed on everything. What about killed me was the fact she had an affair while I was home and the kids where home and acted like it was not big deal.  I began to notice over time the person I married, and the fact that the marriage was nothing about us. 

The issues I seem to have is this anger I can’t let go of.  And the dreams I have about her lucid or just horror.  As much as I try to fill my time with video games, gym time or with people my mind seems to not want to let go.  And when I awake I feel like crap. 

Has anyone else experience this? Or am I just slowing losing my mind and need to go hangout int /r/depression or /r/anxiety?",2.078653846153845,3.7181461973684233,3.1765789473684234,93.11336032388668,77.15789473684211,6.2558704453441285,20.24493927125506,7.010146845296331,0.1993617408906881,570,13,128,6,13,183,96,152,0.122,0.7879999999999999,0.09,-0.7996,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,1,0,0,1,9,6,3,0,10,0,16,1,1,0,2,25,25,14,1,2,8,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,5,8,0,0,3,5,0,5,3,4,0,0,8,1,18,2,18,15,1,19,0,1,0,0,10,4,1,6,12,86,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025984487303105,0.0,0.0,0.10991997461449993,0.16107302431325654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16206936349723178,0.13539869120677095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13132291298273244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412838965795414,0.15377467351714566,0.0,0.0,0.07948654710599509,0.11230583607965697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680262187080916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31537480105999754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640790623045641,0.0,0.0,0.17392179923991533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3215013836089917,0.0,0.15360286499431985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586991701055166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174603805418648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556227394069266,0.11656401335441295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084049339896966,0.17897662790248872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10898474851336368,0.13726357334849218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862233669082681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27499895510300154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673050031303467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890958219034384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09272238708965848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123356119317764
divorce,mykier,2018/01/10,"Block ex on social media or face the pain? Going through the process of a divorce is similar to that of the process of death. I fell like I’m at the last stage of acceptance and moving on. Although I have a one thing that keeps coming up. I’ve blocked my ex on all social media to prevent seeing him and his new lover. I feel a pain every time I see him so it was best to block. At the same time I feel like I am keeping the pain inside and not allowing it to pass by doing this.

Is blocking an ex on social media not accepting the pain and keeping it inside and not allowing it to pass?

Look forward to your experiences.",2.1782875264270603,3.8282464341085287,3.8937138830162077,88.03414376321354,76.90697674418605,6.551374207188162,24.905567300916143,7.348242739294969,1.109443410852713,486,17,102,6,11,163,72,129,0.202,0.682,0.116,-0.9149,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,1,0,1,1,10,0,0,11,0,6,6,1,2,1,26,17,8,1,0,4,3,2,2,1,0,4,0,0,0,8,6,0,8,4,0,0,7,3,4,0,1,1,5,11,6,19,16,3,19,0,0,3,1,12,8,0,1,7,70,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497183260639482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289343769423022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12020158442664633,0.0,0.0,0.13955394128525225,0.0,0.0,0.14427162385177372,0.10192004766314217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810799211014131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3804221555249344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162911795869796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13939802122404613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198028371771698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163053018976036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377869395379988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09667363198741004,0.0,0.6072233274300117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273713875671732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4362876166301392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947804198776955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16637845125894973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Tpink10,2018/01/10,"Mom divorcing narcissist and lawyer not helping Hello, I am located in Osceola County (Florida) and am concerned for my mom. She is in the middle of a 2 year divorce from my narcissistic father who owns a business that should be half hers. He is ruining the business and recently his assets were frozen due to another court case he's not following the judgements on and he is no longer paying her what the judge ordered back on our case in May 2017. Now for my question to all the divorcee people out there, her lawyer has done literally nothing on this case since May 2017 and when we call him he says he is going to do something and never does. How can I go about drafting my own motion to go before the judge to get my father tried for contempt? *Clarification: I am NOT trying to act as her attorney in any fashion, we were told by the clerk of court we could file a motion to get before the judge without her lawyer and I just want to know what motion to get for her. She cannot afford to get a new attorney as she has literally $0.00 to her name right now. I am simply trying to find the information to gather for HER to file the paper and get in front of the judge to get the divorce, I am not trying to represent her or medle. She doesn't know anything about Reddit and I figured someone here may know the exact form SHE has to fill out, I have searched and cannot locate it is all. I do not think I am an attorney and am not trying to practice law, just looking for a little guidance.",7.080300000000001,5.8276464300000015,7.628666666666668,75.99100000000003,64.7,10.4,33.666666666666664,9.3871,2.873766666666667,1179,41,232,18,15,392,150,300,0.035,0.955,0.01,-0.7838,1,0,1,0,3,0,22.0,4,0,0,0,11,2,1,0,19,0,31,0,0,1,4,48,48,16,0,3,10,4,0,0,0,4,0,1,0,0,6,16,0,0,9,0,1,10,12,2,0,1,4,2,35,0,44,38,5,33,0,1,1,0,42,13,0,5,9,170,41,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070553590655288,0.13986451029553934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10976347571851773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10256388401191548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.226999524133526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13619973994026988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649608490939974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672503390246752,0.13649790413124155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191034715488155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4181250802198427,0.0,0.22741520690740155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940432782719092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21991269119283396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368557632927675,0.0,0.0,0.11200877124133003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31243491311229155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287378443774342,0.12882287393520708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279853224124361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247150988579568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942034604476048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317003789880929,0.0,0.0,0.11390900875179225,0.0,0.10607212564462576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033643092589686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301563345856988,0.10268534085591934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546693249104212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745390599763154,0.0,0.4527941133709412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07867320199710846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12857719217577704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08589477318930874
divorce,Nomorefromme,2018/01/10,"When you still get on, but just can’t stay together My husband and I have had seperate lives for a few years now and it worked fine until just recently. He is now looking for somewhere to live. I feel excited and also a little bit sad. We have been together for 18 years and have three children together. 

I think I have guilt about not being able to make it last longer or traditionally.  Help!",2.406006493506492,4.87368198701299,3.4884253246753225,87.19549512987015,79.77922077922078,6.966883116883117,23.910714285714285,8.07648339933343,1.461962337662338,311,11,62,6,8,100,58,77,0.079,0.807,0.114,0.4136,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,1,0,1,8,4,0,1,2,0,9,0,0,1,0,13,14,9,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,2,7,2,8,11,2,12,0,1,1,0,6,2,0,1,9,44,9,1,0.2573764071895644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058238198419599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809883767459725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130137244770802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344685499370875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725139804773448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979612343096246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579587752121917,0.4545361658055082,0.0,0.2161313601346867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180075035958964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541281519785756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743290050434297,0.20554113124824486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649164093232404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1873730897722181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314839356262056
divorce,zombiereign,2018/01/10,"[US-MD] eldest son about to turn 18 but still in high school - any effect on money being paid to ex? I still have 3 months of separation before I can formally file for divorce.  2 sons (16 and 17) but eldest will be 18 in a month.  Just wondering if this will (or should) trigger any change to the money I give her every pay?   I'm waiting for my employer's legal benefit to kick in (another week).

added: looks like I have to continue the amount paid until he is 19 or graduates high school.  So it looks like I'll keep paying until June.  However, she now wants me to agree to a % of college for him AND car costs for the 16 y/o.  F THAT!  Bad enough I have to live on less than $200 a month after my rent, car, insurance.  Barely enough for gas and I'm drowning in debt because of it (but she doesn't care about that)",1.912874049027895,3.3540217455621324,3.780579036348268,89.45823964497042,77.10650887573966,7.1954353338968735,21.538884192730347,7.957251820313856,0.8267156382079457,621,16,139,10,14,210,112,169,0.077,0.828,0.095,0.4784,4,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,2,0,17,24,12,1,3,7,3,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,5,3,0,2,2,0,9,2,1,1,0,0,2,2,12,4,28,17,4,22,0,0,2,0,10,8,0,4,14,79,17,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21560891045586186,0.16623039803949466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13236423258423333,0.09663717863545823,0.0,0.13489562567286714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16162982995904093,0.0,0.16770157138027136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32760353881119225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356665132635878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15207447330461038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33498700654898755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090694296637682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548975164115148,0.0,0.13998310119171076,0.0,0.2662471357175275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796065377683369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3208775365178145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532012820022172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243290806325204,0.0,0.0,0.19068962794229047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350390356629297,0.0,0.12716157465169278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17191682027286798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,AggieDan1996,2018/01/10,"I was an idiot. Now, I'm reaping what was sown. I'm 43 with two beautiful children ages 8 and 6.  My wife and I started dating in February of 1999.  We married in 2002.  Bought our first house in 2004.  Moved into our current one 3.5 years ago.

I cheated on her for the first time with one of my exes the summer of 1999.  We started swinging in 2001?  I don't recall.  We stopped shortly after.  Well, we did.  I didn't.

I had multiple affairs with multiple women from 2002 until I got royally busted in December 2008.  

We reconciled, or so I thought, I stopped cheating, and we welcomed our daughter in January 2009.  Then our son was born in 2011.

She had the typical STD panels done for my son's pregnancy and everything came back clean.

She had bariatric surgery in May 2016.  She lost more than 100 lbs.  She recently met someone online.  A romance began to flourish.  She got another STD panel done and this time it came back positive for HSV2.  So, she thinks I stepped out again.

I discovered her relationship after this.  I asked her to end it.  I've been sleeping on the couch for weeks.

Today she served me divorce papers.

It's been almost 10 years since I did anything inappropriate in our relationship.  I've tried.  But, she decided that she just has fallen out of love with me and the hurt from then just hasn't gone away.

As a child of divorce I want to make this as easy on the children as possible.  3/4 of the proceeds from the sale of our house I want to go to my wife and kids.  Standard 25% of take-home pay for child support.  Wife to have primary custody and I will maintain their health insurance.

Assets I wish to take are personal belongings, bed, couch, garage fridge, tools, etc.  Everything else should be for my kids.",2.1350404596212966,4.705032350299401,3.2634746722770696,87.74322625020231,81.78443113772454,6.604822786858716,26.092895290500078,7.824948511530503,1.7212350865835897,1351,57,263,25,37,434,190,334,0.059,0.828,0.113,0.9368,1,0,0,0,2,0,52.0,12,0,1,3,9,10,3,0,11,0,22,5,1,1,0,41,46,18,0,4,4,6,0,0,0,3,3,0,4,8,8,23,0,2,4,0,3,7,3,5,1,5,23,0,49,5,51,19,2,55,0,2,0,3,48,17,0,3,31,169,57,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537080525895104,0.0,0.11903082074936415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12464523116375105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781962397295688,0.0,0.11112711103235087,0.0,0.11168198380247504,0.18280690369135155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27191050915754955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24328992076482106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09930037038798026,0.0,0.1052832602096698,0.0,0.1325711226869804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136648196655567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20222098992156376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675563824237915,0.0,0.1901418951484852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263529185878524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274319317888252,0.12725245835817384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297603051595822,0.0,0.10728453341843606,0.0,0.07934643905046991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633966517812986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610983524433778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10379242559198494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13400771149202936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736947527744646,0.2552431160050996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833023337715344,0.0,0.11895553317597204,0.0,0.10071789997187347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827315242721094,0.0,0.0,0.1987607617774948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13489191203560502,0.0,0.0,0.17875042208205744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761668956241461,0.0,0.09436925353342536,0.1386277407234905,0.0,0.11267456412272407,0.0,0.0,0.08070471460050814,0.0,0.11611841166972095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402248422934608,0.0,0.0953500927299772,0.0,0.10687812420731893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1366942735482201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153096362148144
divorce,twentyeightthrowaway,2018/01/10,"I [m27] wish I could wake up from this nightmare I created Long post ahead, sorry about that. Throwaway account just in case anyone recognizes me...  This is my first ever experience with the ""D""word and I'm afraid I'm one of those guys who's the culprit but feeling extreme pain and regret and remorse for letting  my wife down.


I'm stuck. I have so many things going on in my head... It's affected me professionally at work, emotionally, every way possible. I just want my life and my STBXW life to be happy as we once were but my nightmare is becoming a reality.

Rewind aboit 5 months ago... Life was just ok for me personally but exceptional in my marriage. My daughter had just turned 1, but my grandmother who everyone in my family was close to, had passed away and figuratively crippled my family for a while.  Other than the usual day to day/daily life problems (money, rent, work issues)  my marriage life was honestly worry and stress free. I'm married (currently, but maybe not for long) to a wonderful woman, the apple of my eyes but also a fierce lover and passionate person with high morals and lots of strong opinions. We met when we were 18, we are only 2 months apart. We've been married for 4 years and have a beautiful intelligent daughter. 

However, aside from all the goodness in my life, I was hiding a damaging tendency.  My problem was social media. It turned into a nightmare. My wife's friend found me liking certain pictures of girls dressed provocatively and semi nude. God I hate myself for being so naive. I hate myself for putting my family through this and I hate that my wife found out during work hours and cried all afternoon and kicked me out that night. I immediately stopped following those accounts on social media and terminated my use. 

I spent one that night away on the bus and metro just sitting and hoping this was just a nightmare. I considered sleeping in my office.  But instead I ended up sleeping in the kiddie pool in my front porch (it's closed off so no one could really see). You see.. I have no place to really go. I have no siblings, my cousins all live far away, my parents wouldn't be too helpful, they'd just blow things out of proportion. I kept praying and wishing that this was just a nightmare but it just wasn't. 

I stupidly put myself  and my family through this. My life has been a nightmare since then. I feel so much guilt so much self doubt. I question myself ""why was I so stupid!?"" My wife and I immediately met with my parents (since my wife's intentions were to just leave me there with them) when things cooled down a bit. My mom wasn't happy and neither was my dad but they helped us talk things out slightly (after some tension and some shouting). We met with church counselors. They helped as well as much as they could. We, from how I felt, were on a more solid path towards forgiveness and reconciliation.  After sleeping on the couch for a few weeks my wife gradually invited me back to bed with her.  We began to go shopping more often. I felt like we had made it out of the nightmare stage.

Then something happened. She started going out with more of her work friends than doing things with my daughter and I. It felt like I became a babysitter for her. Trips to LV, nights out drinking to the point where she ""accidentally"" (strangely/drunkenly/idk) got an Uber back to my MILs house instead of home... Again, because of my guilt and my remorse I felt that she needed to go out and hang out and feel good again. Maybe I was wrong, I don't know... I'm not that type of man, a controlling abusive guy. 

After a trip, I create a home movie of all of our moments and pictures and I try to win her back with that, no luck. After a weekend of just laying in bed and her not having any energy whatsoever to do things, I take care of the house chores and our daughter but shes just too much of an energetic kiddo, she tips over my wife's purse and out comes a dreaded receipt. This receipt has a co workers name on it. It's a male. He doesn't work directly with my wife, but I know they all know each other through work messaging apps and what not (I've gone out with this guy and a group of other of my wife's co workers before).  It's regarding a watch repair on a new watch my wife got as a gift from her brother. Again, I'm not a jealous controlling type of guy and gave her the benefit of the doubt.  I know I misinterpreted that receipt but I wish she hadn't put people who have no interest for her on any caring or loving level over me... But when I confronted her, it led to the separation/divorce talk on a SERIOUS level...

I don't know what to do. That was 2 days ago. I love my daughter and it kills me to even think that my voice won't be the one to tuck her in at night. I'm so heartbroken , it's a bitter sadness... 

TLDR: I fucked up by liking semi nude, pics of girls on social media. I feel extreme remorse and regret. Tried working it out with my wife, it worked for a month or so then she started to go out with her friends/co-workers. I don't know if she can't accept my apology or is no longer in love with me. Brought up serious talks of divorce a few days ago and I can't bring myself to give up on my marriage and my daughter so easily. I love my wife but I'm heartbroken that I put my family in this situation. ADVICE OR HELP OR KIND WORDS PLEASE",3.308229863205277,5.0872991986692,4.4142651107906135,84.9515906210393,74.12357414448671,7.308264498929244,26.160395087627286,8.066996557623812,1.5777633057995724,4175,148,833,65,87,1363,417,1052,0.145,0.6920000000000001,0.163,0.9811,5,0,2,0,2,0,144.0,11,1,6,16,43,61,10,8,47,2,56,24,8,9,7,180,130,81,1,15,38,24,8,4,3,2,8,2,8,12,51,78,1,4,22,4,7,21,23,28,1,5,42,17,143,34,141,77,20,137,3,4,5,9,109,63,1,17,53,575,194,13,0.0,0.0558180664239253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04603569308664748,0.12528146010308833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03767413339458508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407331295216967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032940655168009564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13278518621546714,0.10867486375896168,0.0,0.028718034780812095,0.05202968516417563,0.0400874417543413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05143230553190619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09606429210625457,0.0,0.0,0.040581398881258425,0.0,0.0,0.10567653667263402,0.11284135375613576,0.0,0.05174851217851256,0.12152912498702136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04615021221448841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05299280782163021,0.04172579090595352,0.0,0.0,0.0311159447740282,0.04261401267508168,0.039692505436407136,0.04501596250076671,0.0,0.0460829663731868,0.22205724707903812,0.0,0.09528164277319397,0.0,0.18093331246324892,0.0,0.0,0.0400720433878012,0.0,0.10330814397354483,0.07279468589702558,0.043552763518289635,0.0,0.045192544684174316,0.16064340039038,0.07902786027314128,0.07535690805572855,0.0,0.0,0.186586630148441,0.04165953081314155,0.10029969654830773,0.0,0.13953516505482275,0.04834881495377953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12630831004739448,0.049774675963398365,0.0945110532169518,0.046791211731293705,0.04639420942749668,0.10871804764474527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04917097034110874,0.0,0.0,0.05212062716584809,0.04905818457277874,0.15534371242201495,0.0,0.0,0.04988306311327921,0.0,0.048173529199963684,0.23292805572863345,0.09206295809913266,0.0,0.04159930603845724,0.08338236233831922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040051538630160234,0.1700757366345043,0.04457695641566081,0.0,0.04776250510087755,0.09465736611714952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551750776977152,0.11280910627346015,0.0,0.13852612428857888,0.03493173085577178,0.0,0.04549947384441903,0.0,0.17683950505249094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017098992223429,0.1276927814727494,0.03582954739641135,0.05012873861042465,0.0,0.1046209468571801,0.0,0.0,0.03266038799537152,0.08226988866507642,0.04922029342203029,0.05171302215921808,0.04453451232190371,0.053109846127164295,0.04511869701212848,0.0,0.0,0.09015649354029794,0.0,0.18943567256386132,0.05277437864107135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06036019871867013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508170612011338,0.0,0.04914637402755903,0.0,0.0,0.07794034397221074,0.0529540121940515,0.14143313080888856,0.1440692206973105,0.0,0.03626785242214868,0.0,0.0527361847712471,0.066689902642458,0.0,0.0,0.039386365741902,0.05396475179794318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035421123554178445,0.11359655507887907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877881568303056,0.030186412867910118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396967646782978,0.10248507502060034,0.0,0.0,0.05666795580037218,0.04068822034125162,0.051885399672800994,0.0,0.02778690761335232,0.0373940065176169,0.03778908464831995,0.0,0.04235786633329889,0.0,0.042509767300704986,0.0,0.16252374778541634,0.0,0.05108916975553457,0.30867209177484684,0.04784285168600879,0.0,0.0,0.05150777703099284,0.0,0.030337523661092318
divorce,TennysonThomas,2018/01/10,"We used to drink a lot of coffee together. I guess that I needed a change, because instead of the two pots of coffee we shared together daily, I drink 5-6 cups of TEA now. Every day, without fail. From the moment I left.

Divorce is weird.",0.5268750000000004,2.9177179375000013,2.7716666666666683,89.44000000000004,88.375,4.866666666666667,20.5,6.42735559955562,0.4376000000000002,183,6,36,2,6,62,36,48,0.038,0.845,0.117,0.5499,0,0,2,0,1,0,9.0,2,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,6,1,7,4,1,4,0,1,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,23,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071196446653447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2962489706207795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18060493888926496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5486721809353547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23594879069423735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084995710079303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042681643772222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380830335935892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20764876295049975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2735618815203107,0.0,0.0,0.2418677349657368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269952013581173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tinysnailgoo,2018/01/10,"Divorced day 81 I've begun speaking aloud to myself, something I've never done before. Anyone else or am I losing my wits?",1.8024999999999984,4.510177583333338,3.7550000000000026,82.39000000000001,85.66666666666666,3.2,20.5,3.1291,0.0400999999999998,98,3,15,0,3,33,21,24,0.115,0.885,0.0,-0.3818,0,0,1,1,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,1,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26690758252013524,0.39111737133704816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32481570610832794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24617789772723306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3906322119566761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188781780258844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427047172744807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29440608793986817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2938667966323167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Classic_Overthinker,2018/01/10,"She's wrong... Right? Quick backstory.

I'm male. 32 yrs old. Married for 7 years (together for 13). We have one child (4 yr old daughter).

My wife and I separated 3 months ago. We now live in separate homes. She stayed in our old apartment. I got my own smaller place.

We are splitting custody about 50/50. Nothing legal yet... Just making amicable schedules right now.

After the separation, she dove right into dating scene (which is her right). But I just found out her new boyfriend (or ""friend"" as she says) is temporarily living with my ex while he is between places. He has a daughter (about 5 or 6) and she is temp living there too. Since we split custody, our daughter is spending half her time with these people whom I don't know.

My two biggest issues:

1. My ex only met this guy 2 months ago. I feel it's way too early for her to thrust him and his kid into our child's life. At least to this extent. His daughter is now sharing a room with my daughter.

2. SHE DIDN'T TELL ME!! I thought he was just visiting a lot. When i asked her about this, she said ""oh yeah, they are living here until he finds a new place. I FORGOT to tell you.""

I got upset. She thinks there is nothing wrong with this. She thinks this is harmless to our daughter and absolutely the right thing to do (bc this guy is hard done by at the moment).

I just need to know.... This is a bad idea right? I'm not just being paranoid? I think this is really irresponsible and wreckless of her. Causing confusion for our daughter.
 
And as the father, do I not have the right to a heads up when someone is moving in with my kid? 

Thoughts? Vindication? Contrary opinion ?

Thanks.",0.8491001956096511,3.3888490342679134,2.17248569151634,92.78314062160405,89.80996884735201,4.605984206331955,20.54922842860248,6.270204493941655,0.21541043251467065,1264,42,259,13,43,404,176,321,0.051,0.904,0.046,-0.3845,0,0,0,0,0,0,72.0,9,1,1,0,20,9,0,2,11,1,24,2,1,2,0,46,44,15,0,1,10,11,2,0,1,0,1,2,2,7,13,18,0,1,11,0,1,2,4,5,0,3,11,4,49,4,35,32,4,51,0,0,0,0,61,22,0,5,25,167,62,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569710405599654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0827731087861698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392734530421463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909551461687555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09060733645897942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04476857130355976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809241131781242,0.0,0.0,0.09707972858375656,0.06840591726275465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416273277126073,0.0,0.0,0.17533738111495836,0.0,0.0,0.07931460306024303,0.0,0.090867760324126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881301165197794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995107705429747,0.0,0.09241293612122543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09731872602405364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06253854193574652,0.0,0.0,0.3127303760694971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07527368801773238,0.0,0.0,0.059101252343433636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14134384115426066,0.09410419071142104,0.0,0.06565141565814149,0.0,0.1710252997150372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991336597351284,0.0,0.27872404939828177,0.0,0.059997111992709476,0.06733879058776207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06138260702549823,0.0,0.2775169048113293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05672110139129662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5292897618582664,0.08422197907839034,0.07041069852589779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732413452368717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501980042169452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09437204271960167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15477602580834998,0.08151589464099544,0.0,0.0,0.05882215604414959,0.17019890138870586,0.0,0.14058201308801915,0.05162848632115509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649088266514013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027906733701643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193609557651212,0.0,0.057016967871890735
divorce,ImponderableEon,2018/01/10,"Visitation and babysitting question Virginia, not filed, no legal documents yet. Have to wait a year of separation before filing (which is soon).

My stbx is active duty. Our current visitation schedule is every other weekend, modifications due to at sea time.  I am sole custodian and I am very flexible when his schedule changes due to one week at sea or 2 weeks, whatever. 

The subject came up of his duty, which is overnight every 6 days. This would interfere with visitation (Friday-Sunday) every 2 months or so. He is saying the responsibility falls to me to take them when his schedule changes OR to modify the schedule because he is unable to take them for 1 day out of that visitation weekend because he is working. I say he should get a sitter.  He says that because he pays child support to me, he should not have to pay any additional costs for care. It is my responsibility. 

Obviously, if I am not busy, I will take them, but he has them 5 days a month. This is a persistent problem as it comes up every 6 or 8 weeks. It is hard enough to make my own plans with someone on active duty, but then having to shift and get less social time on a regular basis, while his is never changed. 

I would like to know thoughts and if I have any legal standing in requiring him to get a sitter on his time (with a chance to take them if I am free). 

Thanks! ",4.976414529914532,6.099931265384615,6.245641025641028,76.01158119658123,69.03846153846153,8.700854700854702,30.5982905982906,8.998388855275968,2.559072649572649,1059,42,198,19,18,357,138,260,0.042,0.879,0.08,0.8237,1,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,1,0,5,4,5,6,0,0,10,0,25,0,0,1,2,40,41,19,0,8,12,0,1,1,0,5,0,3,0,1,10,11,0,6,3,2,4,7,5,1,0,1,2,4,25,6,32,34,3,45,0,0,0,0,30,9,0,8,29,131,35,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497265202146726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837895556373665,0.0,0.0969585756563568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303224197313247,0.11617424967072075,0.0,0.3616152580617263,0.0981532984265122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22045477979825573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11773536889975005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3840134089803279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17859426084289454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10207210005684376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262104553802535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055667641144973294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605899430779102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818991981307423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788120283102861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721190023216815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902972124545912,0.0,0.0,0.12764417883147644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718402761045986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161523062536976,0.09654500280448344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12930313310162808,0.0,0.0,0.3426890355345805,0.0,0.0,0.10490500151276083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045939053123493,0.19932627101040876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401633827320982,0.0,0.0,0.2741987761637452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08295312295545433,0.0,0.0,0.16188613867824828,0.0,0.0,0.0733766724538361
divorce,SpZT,2018/01/10,"Initiating divorce... struggling with timing My husband and I have been together for 4 years, married for almost 2.
Our relationship has always been a lot of bickering and fighting but we always just moved on.
In August, we had a huge blowout because of some vulgar language he used towards me and I left for the night. The next day I came home.
A month later we had another huge fight, this one included language and him stealing money from me. 
I left again, this time for 2 weeks. I told him I’d only come back if he promised to change and scheduled a marriage counseling session.
He did, we went, I came back home.. but this time I came back mentally and emotionally checked out.

Our last huge blowout was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. He used language. I said I was leaving. He said fine, leave and don’t come back.
Fast forward an hour and he was texting me begging me to come home and telling me how sorry he was. I spent the night at a friends house but came home the next day. 

He’s been so good since then. He’s been trying. He’s constantly asking me if I need anything or trying to do things for me. I keep telling him no, but he keeps trying which makes me feel horrible.

I am checked out. Emotionally, mentally, physically. I am out of love. I can barely look at him, I don’t want to talk to him. We are just incompatible and unhappy. But I don’t think he realizes how unhappy he is. 

He doesn’t have too many friends, doesn’t get along great with his family, and dislikes his job. On top of this, I think he has undiagnosed depression.

But I just can’t be here anymore. I go out nearly every night because being at home is anxiety attack inducing and miserable.

I hide in my bedroom, I don’t make eye contact, I avoid advances, I don’t say I love you too.

For months now I have been trying to leave and I am finally at a point where for myself I know I need to and I want to and I am ready. 

But I know he’s not ready and I don’t want to break him. I don’t want to be with him and I am not in love with him but I still care about him.

I feel like with my behavior, he shouldn’t be blindsided, but I’m scared that he’s so naive and in denial that he will be.

So when do I do it? Tonight? Tomorrow? Keep waiting? 
When is right. How do I leave him without ruining him. How do I leave him with him not completely downspiraling. 

In September when I left him, he couldn’t eat without throwing up. He has a constant lump in his throat. He was crying every day. 

Just the thought of that happening to him again kills me and makes my throat burn. 
But I can’t continue to live so miserably in a stuck and unhappy marriage.

So please, if anyone has any advice please help me. 
I want to end it now, but the words just won’t come out. 


If it helps, I am 25, he is 30. We have no children or shared assets. ",0.9482779720279736,3.2465561486013996,2.666254370629371,91.86553540209793,84.54195804195804,6.162412587412588,22.92351398601399,7.472759873165716,0.9752416083916088,2175,80,474,37,64,716,240,572,0.142,0.7040000000000001,0.154,0.8525,1,1,0,0,4,0,78.0,8,1,0,2,31,24,4,5,16,0,58,8,3,10,0,109,105,50,1,13,27,1,2,1,2,3,1,3,6,1,12,46,1,5,9,0,4,14,21,12,0,1,24,7,86,12,57,72,2,88,0,4,2,3,75,32,0,9,44,305,98,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609241704170761,0.0,0.0,0.062430903338764374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10375438134380656,0.0,0.0,0.0423976829254784,0.06537562565251531,0.04769481744919053,0.0,0.061830865579555215,0.04359404528413721,0.0,0.05130576644303758,0.0,0.0582854581989757,0.0709280188684778,0.0,0.19176210097794427,0.0,0.07601156093106319,0.0,0.05305218558194103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852306420662879,0.06356629943923635,0.0,0.06595421343628352,0.21482357670181254,0.06536900338095576,0.1347485965485525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06848458149331695,0.1206247906501318,0.0,0.0536988540670774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06379592142727733,0.0,0.14026259357180362,0.05522039586016198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505904455209733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058774627495785624,0.0,0.0630484158347205,0.044540273238778814,0.0,0.0682974224177712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633733200672194,0.0,0.03257341535106609,0.0,0.03543289002347619,0.052293193652103706,0.0,0.06873711471501437,0.0,0.0,0.05513270648446974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08357894158274685,0.0,0.3126925612724734,0.0,0.061398635102686276,0.0719393628944994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186917154330498,0.1662490073510176,0.0689770427854823,0.0,0.06852789052910745,0.050820628844123916,0.0,0.3300791227710073,0.2032186044037574,0.0,0.0,0.030459296755752163,0.0,0.05505300431881991,0.0,0.05235526498465103,0.0,0.0,0.053004670970789286,0.16881015253253046,0.0,0.12485009770030105,0.06320945347418558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12566099352321994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0995285868332134,0.0662643454437393,0.0,0.09245811590649212,0.0,0.0,0.13261218544020292,0.17552358973956006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04224752717871367,0.04741723878115805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368752271799314,0.058937490373703126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06693669002229624,0.0,0.0532434761246489,0.11861138751450967,0.04958035146769312,0.062419612476874324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05157357780614985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979167886323767,0.0,0.0,0.04978990732784338,0.0,0.0,0.06517798333723113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501116663787542,0.10898698520265653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041420170965691165,0.07989809812934892,0.0,0.04949606923993337,0.10906404358165896,0.0,0.0,0.05957464712703305,0.0,0.1693164242500211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769452587027313,0.0,0.0,0.18386757983778945,0.0,0.0500105131182944,0.0,0.0,0.05779572784730984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019938961461052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040149030841822114
divorce,nebraskaheat,2018/01/11,"Anyone vacation alone yet? So next month I will be receiving a healthy tax refund. All common sense tells me I should be paying bills and investing the rest. And while there will be some left over to do that, I have this huge desire to take a solo vacation. My ex dropped a bomb on me about 13 months ago. She left me for a good friend. We were two weeks away from a 10 day vacation to Jamaica. I wanted to go on that vacation so bad! Actually packed my bags a couple days before and almost went by myself but was just to destroyed emotionally to do it. What followed was 6 months of living in mom's basement fighting this divorce followed by 4 months of learning to live alone in my new apartment still emotionally a mess and depressed. A ton of drinking and loathing those months. But the last couple I've begun to feel good again. Some days even REALLY good. I've quit drinking. Got myself back in the gym and am ready to hit a beach on an island somewhere by myself. But the idea frightens me for some reason. Will seeing all the happy couple's everywhere ruin it? Will I feel like a third wheel everywhere? I have dated but haven't met anyone I'd want to go on this vacation with and have actually decided to quit dating the last couple of months and am not missing it. Anyone been here? How did it go?",3.5893687707641213,5.355913263565891,4.477397563676637,84.84406976744188,73.34108527131785,7.239867109634551,24.688815060908084,7.957251820313856,1.3652954595791809,1034,32,201,15,21,334,147,258,0.138,0.746,0.115,-0.8898,2,2,2,1,3,0,22.0,1,0,0,2,12,13,2,0,17,0,21,2,0,2,2,33,37,16,0,4,6,2,2,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,11,10,2,0,6,4,5,7,2,7,0,2,8,3,18,6,32,20,7,45,0,3,1,0,10,13,0,4,25,133,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.1823460085791656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281896928111354,0.0,0.09355541948190538,0.1935280624669934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19598270930055176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777940685809921,0.07184095871708937,0.07800912216600997,0.0,0.0,0.07950100368752118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4135086370601204,0.0,0.1807614864701628,0.0,0.08047006449166137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18304925587059154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101895868465229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170882281239173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09448078877026904,0.06674553344329533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07218283755042364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592931727232065,0.23509086397281184,0.07472352391469175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945666518219168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546971149129647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15231383803777376,0.0,0.0,0.2030212684718693,0.0,0.0,0.04564457876967558,0.0,0.16499863488562755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942264867850507,0.4474437270799939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023409026827453,0.09936255903546212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987459989680508,0.0,0.0,0.059852863776132914,0.09606033824025983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07445063508541411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07461233807150891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702468092514764,0.0,0.08166086483944626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09126633459251644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110213420859898,0.0,0.07494292542748214,0.0,0.0,0.0866094077427797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,just_redditing,2018/01/11,"Is this real life? Is this going to be forever? How long does it take to feel normal again after moving out? I have my own place and am adjusting to having roommates and my roommate's cat (I've never had a cat before).  Nights are still tough. Waking up alone is tough. And shopping for stuff for the new house, while fun (I'm into design), is still sad. I'm the one who asked for a divorce. Why did I not think it would be hard?",0.4311235955056176,2.610411494382024,2.2001011235955046,95.14082584269664,85.74157303370788,4.458876404494381,15.641573033707864,5.6839178017228535,-0.7230997752808994,329,6,72,2,10,108,66,89,0.118,0.845,0.037000000000000005,-0.6322,0,1,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,0,13,2,1,1,1,14,20,5,0,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,3,1,1,2,2,3,0,1,2,2,4,1,10,15,1,15,0,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,9,49,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22637690505340924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20433732867087692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18599050632763067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19127571513198108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051765969323556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12422072877542087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957995096667068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25220522741648704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543853889931127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343124818408333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323097347519152,0.0,0.0,0.16857786225279192,0.21110027997852554,0.0,0.20511703693263555,0.21415626325683884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811150351049884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283634698182397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487852392518735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3491072034952565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502151129497473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434056193724966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005349226131386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1972291769721536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15526880782008687,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Hashoni,2018/01/11,"As of sometime after midnight tonight, I will have been gone from my home for a year. This has been one of the most brutal, and occasionally wonderful, years of my life. Due to my stbx's mental condition resulting from brain damage, my home was no longer a safe place for me and I had to leave. I abandoned it all in order to save myself.

A year later, we're still married, she's dragging out the divorce process incessantly in order to still have access to my healthcare and for spousal support, I haven't seen my dog in a year (she claims my dog from before the marriage is now her service animal), she is still in my house and insists it should be hers but no mortgage company in the world will approve someone who's income is less than the monthly payments. Our judge is slow to realize the games she's playing, and I'm making it rain for my lawyer every month.

But there have been good moments. I discovered who my true friends were - the people she'd driven out of my life that welcomed me back with open arms. I was overwhelmed with support from my family, and made sure to express to each of them how much that meant to me. I've had a couple adventures - nothing amazing, but something to remind me that there is a 'me' after 'we'. I've been on three miserable dates, and one semi-not-horrible one. Either I'm not ready for dating, or the world's not ready for me. I'm slowly learning to like me, which will hopefully lead to loving me again some day. The fog of doubt, self-hatred and misery that she infected my life with is finally starting to clear. Some days are worse than others, but that also means its not all shit.


The world is going to hell it seems like, I'm dead broke and utterly alone, and some days I barely recognize myself. But I keep going, because I'll be damned if I let her ruin anything else in my life. She's ruined enough already. Someday, I will fully purge that sickness, and every trace of it, from my life forever.",6.1391407548065535,6.049773738903394,6.326960598148588,80.70889805364351,66.18015665796345,8.947970567291716,31.247211013529547,8.438071523408619,2.254781723237598,1534,53,297,19,22,491,205,383,0.16899999999999998,0.698,0.133,-0.963,2,1,1,0,1,0,48.0,2,0,1,3,10,28,4,3,16,0,31,11,3,5,5,57,52,21,1,3,11,0,0,2,1,5,7,0,2,0,17,19,0,3,6,2,0,5,6,12,0,4,14,1,48,16,49,29,11,47,1,7,1,1,22,14,3,10,28,208,65,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301613016459333,0.12041739956401405,0.08726377976836161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979703368291614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390707826059585,0.0,0.0665189623937874,0.0,0.09285367368876646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12181478316450968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120739972680036,0.0,0.21112146138642296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115633798511293,0.0,0.0,0.11275084696159313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387778248696066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102869279046822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11953638677465298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430637769279282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12403161046054052,0.0915252611415271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21891390698280494,0.10838147099094968,0.0,0.12591063034088115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699148684339612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155430594274568,0.0,0.1115833030249498,0.3853758671592509,0.10662171862380927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09848568691793996,0.10325263932837228,0.07283891074866829,0.0,0.0,0.11886442586711095,0.0,0.0,0.10996799434388503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17419819415811394,0.0,0.08021626586253934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10470424913530252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2218290194708721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565054981694637,0.0,0.11400790033650865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933938175951734,0.1138366824429956,0.0,0.1120108245422138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09245761012889643,0.08400644158924994,0.10792315682323772,0.0,0.07723618903204002,0.0,0.2614317821575605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476577413947717,0.10284496294126444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833673813811448,0.0,0.0,0.11120330988356032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28108059774078586
divorce,gadivorcethrowaway80,2018/01/11,"GA, No kids, No shared assets, Finances separated. What now? Welp, we gave it a shot but this isnt working, couples therapy (3rd time) is getting us nowhere, and it's getting worse by the day.

Luckily, we should be able to keep things pretty simple since we do not have children or shared assets/debts to fight over. We have about $20k in savings and I'm happy to split it with her.

Just starting this process in Georgia. We recently moved down a month or so ago, and I know GA has a 6-month residency requirement.

Suggestions on where to start and what to do in the meantime? Best place to start the process? Good idea for her to move out asap?

Thank you in advance.",2.089087912087912,4.577507161538462,2.917582417582416,90.68384615384615,81.23076923076924,5.868131868131869,26.20879120879121,7.1686216300943375,1.2732637362637371,521,22,105,7,14,164,93,130,0.07,0.708,0.222,0.9778,1,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,6,1,0,4,5,8,1,0,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,22,19,8,0,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,8,11,0,2,2,0,1,3,4,1,0,0,1,0,10,7,19,16,1,22,0,0,0,0,16,10,0,2,9,67,18,3,0.1792119942904021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588606199054562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18807193150637014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829466301572096,0.0,0.11557691047893102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726174062889064,0.0,0.0,0.15031451815531066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190774500355626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20230852779494649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15929185481905506,0.0,0.0,0.09849022526345808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860906081208834,0.3809479766150035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18723839070485326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823230260682751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17695022406568706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824601360267028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805415158734573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649943264518198,0.20494453395124668,0.0,0.11906048580698965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1044999550554151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21556996334049427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13046846624796332,0.0,0.18263233269092385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tempuserthrowaway5,2018/01/11,"I want to go home Some days I cry like a baby with those five simple words summing up everything I could possibly say.

I can't go home.

Home is gone.

Home doesn't exist anymore.

Even if it did, the one person who made home, home doesn't exist anymore..not in the way that they did.

All I can do is write unsent letters to their memory as if I'm just on a long and unrelenting vacation to a different planet.

Everyday the pain is the same and time doesn't heal it.

I want to go home.

The house is still there, the spouse is still there and maybe that it's still standing will have to be enough no matter what happens to me.",1.5948205128205153,3.4496592769230787,3.0673076923076934,92.36685897435898,79.30769230769229,6.487179487179486,20.06410256410256,7.492282038375204,0.4337179487179488,486,12,109,7,12,159,82,130,0.071,0.878,0.051,-0.6597,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,2,0,7,2,0,0,9,0,17,2,0,1,1,17,26,6,0,5,3,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,7,1,8,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,2,4,1,9,1,11,19,4,16,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,3,8,73,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11356928887085302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143185929407403,0.0,0.12579065723747124,0.07385346873779247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964504482023032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832583617820408,0.0,0.07563686333991082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10291976735238892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1952465690826068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10126628845120136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8040835281938531,0.0,0.0,0.13213630779983818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055946825903742066,0.0,0.0,0.10134322436525388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10835798768143944,0.0,0.0,0.11504690468365104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07759913391581315,0.0,0.12185329994683465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999111984451076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290997976342011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106787047818272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743583313204617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677531119152648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508923152120464,0.09089762117927074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,divthrownow,2018/01/11,"Why do they call it ""spousal"" support... If she isn't my wife?",-1.8761538461538483,0.0006371538461564796,-0.34730769230769104,109.12980769230772,100.53846153846158,2.6,21.884615384615387,3.1291,-0.8112769230769228,45,2,12,0,2,14,13,13,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5758215315707942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6399254674595343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5088466958487216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,astrodonut,2018/01/11,"The Beatles Said It Best This is so spot on with how I feel. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuphFPEqJqw",10.266000000000002,15.141341266666668,4.641666666666668,75.14250000000001,69.66666666666666,8.333333333333334,20.833333333333336,8.841846274778883,1.8543333333333327,89,2,13,2,2,22,15,15,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6977952003617621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33620482314625216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6324936167624821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,allmywutsthrowaway,2018/01/11,"I think I am on the brink of divorce. I don't even know what to think anymore.  We've been together for over 10 years.  He's always dressed up stories a bit to make them sound more interesting when he talks to friends and whatever.  But lately it's more like flat out lies for no reason at all.  

""It's been snowing every few days here"" to a relative who lives far away.  Only it hasn't snowed in a week and before that it was more like a month?  

What the heck does he gain from these little white lies?

It just makes me lose some level of respect for him.  If you can't be honest about the weather, what the hell can you be honest about?  ",2.7611363636363677,3.918087992424244,3.592848484848485,92.81427272727277,74.37878787878788,6.492121212121212,22.29090909090909,6.742157984588678,0.32294909090909085,493,12,112,4,10,157,95,132,0.146,0.728,0.126,-0.4339,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,2,1,2,6,9,1,0,8,0,10,0,0,3,1,14,15,5,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,11,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,2,8,7,19,10,7,17,1,1,1,0,11,11,2,2,8,71,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438024484566415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2197572765009459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081906630441373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885563740153284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24191838176589325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290691886273074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939144959310068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463577984498495,0.0,0.1866987408809175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17119952558261528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177981373764835,0.0,0.2499626479974155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21651490841789192,0.22209092840186204,0.19566761970576485,0.0,0.0,0.2479020100074954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958254714623447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768706532849109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685288270845081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22783094835458606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17810527510972393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2839712541290505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17774575944033327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269639587366062
divorce,perniciouslady,2018/01/11,My husband has requested a divorce... My husband has requested that we get divorced. It was kind of out of nowhere since we just listed our house and were looking at buying a bigger place. We have been together 5 years married for 4. We have two children under 5 years old. Just kind of lost at the moment. What should I do? What should I expect? ,1.7380970149253727,4.3613083880597046,2.8225186567164187,89.74333022388063,84.52238805970148,5.141044776119403,24.792910447761198,6.6274283507984215,1.032016417910448,270,11,51,3,8,86,48,67,0.047,0.953,0.0,-0.4503,0,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,5,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,10,0,0,0,0,11,13,1,0,3,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,9,2,8,7,0,10,0,1,1,0,12,6,0,0,4,38,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14310577151862489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31605338029862845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5704666484153942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2300139702251185,0.0,0.2990032447585337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874206642628961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2861758549262341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22657976028550994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2675685898145397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527759046707378
divorce,Keyele,2018/01/11,"Wife was awarded sole custody. Help, I need support. I miss my little girl so much. I read to her every night, and it was always my responsibility to put her to bed. This is only my second night on my own and it hurts my soul to the core. Caregiving responsibilities were split 50-50 but because my wife is still breastfeeding the judge ruled in her favor. I was going for 50-50 custody but here is the kicker - to gain an advantage my wife literally started breast feeding again after having weened her!!!

Please tell me how other fathers have dealt with the separation. I get her every weekend now from Saturday at 9 am till Sunday at 5 pm, which, my lawyer says is more than most fathers get in our state but still, I am heartbroken and devastated. My daughter is and has been everything to me. I can't wait for Saturday but my world is shattered. ",5.3103179029559415,6.335148386503067,6.187863915225879,77.0914779698829,68.20245398773007,8.872058003346348,29.54210819854993,9.095868883498916,2.409103067484663,669,24,126,12,11,221,105,163,0.106,0.7809999999999999,0.113,-0.5684,0,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,0,0,3,7,6,0,0,5,0,17,2,1,1,0,13,25,11,0,1,4,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,5,5,1,1,0,2,0,2,1,2,0,1,5,1,25,4,18,20,4,23,1,2,0,1,16,7,0,1,13,90,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399568747874358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747108728553205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523672050460991,0.0,0.18793395375487726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21850195525753469,0.0,0.11884163307888054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016155473229922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223855828598391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2095824517557208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15371939458331352,0.15505189498293664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3924698217709819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1590370440884293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22953921505313865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021260104221687,0.0,0.0,0.2091658861214749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16629210694192928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480086375283651,0.0,0.3339899112811077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372947535124143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277074347091035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Jlc2828,2018/01/11,"Cheated on my wife Now I'm paying the ultimate price. To be honest, how I'm feeling is nowhere as numb as she felt when I told her about my infidelity. I wish her happiness. She deserves better. Please know that I am working on me, so no need to pile it on. I've made my bed, now I need to lay in it. Thanks for listening.",0.3590062111801231,2.245750159420293,2.790517598343687,92.6126086956522,83.6376811594203,6.2616977225672885,22.900621118012424,7.447530270364453,0.8378968944099388,247,9,58,4,7,85,50,69,0.078,0.655,0.267,0.9197,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,2,6,6,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,0,8,15,5,0,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,3,3,12,4,11,11,0,7,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,36,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26301068795938604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036554634904728,0.0,0.2855338718921977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165692410662954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634336654321209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813905474729807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4410107669993881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.326436723969618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2737898860053644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841617587122595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34197524194834233,0.0,0.0,0.21649802917166086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lovable_maybe,2018/01/11,"I love him Three months separated. Is letting go something I have to actively choose? Or does it happen by itself after a while? 

Because I guess I let the relationship go.. but I still don't want to lose the love for him. Even though I know he will never come back. Even though he doesn't feel the same anymore. I want to still love him, because it's the realest and most intense feeling I have ever had for anyone. He's a beautiful and unique person that has shaped me in more ways than I probably realize, he was a big part of my life. I have lost the anger and resentment, and there's mostly just love left. I wish him well. Do I have to stop thinking like this? Do I have to force him out of my heart if I want to heal? 
My friends are like ""Hell yeah!"" if I'm angry at him but I don't really want to be.
",0.8584705882352957,2.8229799058823564,2.5394117647058816,94.66735294117649,82.29411764705883,5.882352941176473,20.0,7.048011613610866,0.21547058823529447,624,17,145,8,17,205,101,170,0.151,0.593,0.255,0.9756,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,0,0,0,2,11,13,3,0,8,1,19,7,1,0,2,30,39,12,0,7,6,0,2,2,1,1,2,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,6,0,0,3,4,5,1,1,3,2,25,8,17,32,5,19,1,2,0,4,17,6,1,6,11,102,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926389476933392,0.09113791355432012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022468474772438,0.0,0.15891012233693602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11227779181348313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406285787386068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217886350544845,0.11790148628118415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13180931098799514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007016368778843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1481523289197646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358602433918113,0.0,0.11526069225389513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15445548498986128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07163236311742656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14161658608848673,0.2665663398277878,0.0920641633485536,0.12735669454659393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14581896829512864,0.14228331003675224,0.0,0.4705537186199013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403746295930118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005275171997226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14114730723130642,0.0,0.0,0.11380930286661232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053034592739458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350019975143297,0.0,0.0,0.13993815506459012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034337149616426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20818202304220546,0.10897145724321676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351766752782673,0.2561200222857281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3075155331417904,0.1034591363186351,0.0,0.0,0.11719279839882148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988646704853853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,stillstuckintraffic_,2018/01/11,"How long were you married? How long have you been divorced? Do you count the time that you were separated as years of marriage?

We separated in 15 but we’re technically still married since the divorce hasn’t been finalized yet. But I have gotten into the habit of saying I’ve been divorced for a little over 2 years (when we separated).

Totally random but it’s stuff I think about sometimes. ",3.1806756756756767,5.950209162162165,4.282364864864864,80.83543918918923,79.0,6.943243243243244,26.817567567567572,8.07648339933343,2.0444378378378376,314,13,56,6,8,102,51,74,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,8.0,2,4,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,2,1,11,11,7,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,8,0,8,5,1,13,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,1,9,41,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163655598943635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28945280837093257,0.0,0.5111566547382411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22966482623441786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2388977979080015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2856299312302007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306355254889235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3306061489574473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18505095547067898,0.0,0.0,0.1684012172572451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719546118093055
divorce,LaTuFu,2018/01/11,"Reddit site problem with new posts If you are currently getting the ""max 1"" error when you try to post, there is an issue with the reddit site at the moment.

Temporary workaround: Type 1 character and hit save.  Click edit and type the rest of your post.

Sorry for the difficulty, we'll update you as we learn more.

https://www.reddit.com/r/bugs/comments/7pk1p0/this_is_too_long_max_1_error_when_commentingpming/",11.15409836065574,14.836122114754104,7.54504918032787,62.69790163934428,57.360655737704924,8.158688524590165,25.31475409836065,8.841846274778883,2.0395940983606557,343,8,45,5,5,95,47,61,0.13699999999999998,0.8140000000000001,0.048,-0.5994,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,2,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,6,0,3,0,0,0,0,9,5,5,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,6,1,7,3,2,11,0,0,1,0,6,3,0,1,5,28,6,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391170950080506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2874991413825128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2660321643620346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7914173684980114,0.0,0.0,0.263569279832004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083446947730341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870130580242226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,The_Lighthouse,2018/01/12,"Question on name change If you have the judge write in the decree (or however they include it in your divorce papers) the language to have your last name changed....does that mean you HAVE to do it? I am unsure about if I want to change it back or not. However, I know if I don’t have the judge write it in now, and I decide two years from now I want to change it, it will take more time and money to go to court and do it myself. So I want to have it included in the divorce papers, but I was just wondering if I do that if I can still sit on it and decide one way or the other down the road? Is that language still valid after 1-2 yrs? Or if having it in there means you basically are then required to change it. 

I know many people have strong feelings about this. I am leaning towards changing it back but it’s not something that I feel strongly about. Our divorce is very amicable, so I don’t have this hate for the name and need to get rid of it. Also it’s been so long since I used my maiden name that it feels like it doesn’t “fit” me anymore. But at the same time - I took his name as part of making us a family, and it feels like maybe I should let it go now that we are not sharing our lives together as a couple. No kids - so that is not a consideration. I asked if he had strong feelings about it either way and he doesn’t, and he actually kinda wants me to keep it, oddly enough. Anyone else pondering their name change because you don’t have a super negative connection to it?",3.0667744755244755,3.8419781891025657,4.38834498834499,88.85968531468531,73.19871794871796,7.33939393939394,24.11771561771561,7.520522993642371,0.8661358974358979,1153,31,260,13,22,382,150,312,0.058,0.843,0.098,0.8922,2,0,1,0,3,0,31.0,4,6,2,5,18,8,1,0,13,0,31,0,0,2,0,64,56,30,0,13,20,0,5,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,32,9,0,2,15,0,1,3,11,1,0,2,4,5,35,7,32,49,5,32,0,0,0,0,31,12,0,14,16,193,67,3,0.0,0.0,0.09723234954705487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07968050087513755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09881415753335457,0.0696692310199083,0.1020909418994286,0.0,0.0,0.09314811291080698,0.0,0.0,0.1532309977981869,0.0,0.060738421545580186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6324229792412644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024759097455172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323479326563092,0.0,0.0,0.10295272544741384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939298721746048,0.0,0.2518999223172987,0.1423628647324205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05205676106471852,0.0,0.1132531833033087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09837193178685737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856286391468116,0.0,0.0,0.10951691694270492,0.0812182973257275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10188664183388696,0.0,0.09735622232574093,0.0,0.08798221067186708,0.08817652586302646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665091623014658,0.10101732904190004,0.10009979877625816,0.21707006078508032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388034070674733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06751731140914949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107898282633767,0.0,0.06907646811649225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161740283318966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242161247667706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07670622749023168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15914212748435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491540248043853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161994793666742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11070152343814266,0.0,0.0,0.09733188256901558,0.0,0.11985228842431188,0.08605527146577632,0.0,0.08221181410706488,0.2350763791393609,0.1581760693919573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805319906843623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416362800728984
divorce,tonymonmaster,2018/01/12,What conversations lead you to realizing it was over? Title says it all,2.833846153846153,5.880488153846155,5.098846153846154,70.08365384615385,90.53846153846158,8.753846153846155,21.884615384615387,8.841846274778883,2.6687230769230776,58,2,10,2,2,20,12,13,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,8,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Jink585,2018/01/12,"Equitable distribution of home and a few questions based on your experience I'm meeting with a lawyer for a consultation next week, but I would like to hear from those of you who have been through or are going through a divorce.


I've been married to my husband for 11 years, we have 4 kids ages 8 and under. I'll have full custody. He doesn't want the kids more than every other weekend and can't with his work schedule since he has to be to work every weekday morning around 4 am.


We separated 6 months ago. He moved into an in-law space at his mom's house. I'm the bread winner. He's worked a part-time job early mornings and then stayed home with the kids so they've never been to day care. He's planning to use this against me and it is what it is, but he's never worked more than part-time, never had much of a work ethic and is a felon so was always worried that he wouldn't get hired. When we separated he did start working a second job and has been for about 4 months now, but the pay is under the table. This won't help at all, right? There's no way to prove his income. 


No affairs. But he is an alcoholic and has been abusive. Mostly emotional but sometimes physical. I don't really want to bring this up during the divorce though. I'm not sure that it will make things any better and I don't want to seem like I'm pulling some card just so I can get a better deal. He is a great dad and loves his kids very, very much. No one would ever believe he is abusive.


I'm unsure as to whether or not I should stay in the house. I can afford it. We refinanced to a 15 year mortgage 3 years ago. I'd hate to refinance again. Part of me wants to stay because it's my kids' home, we're in walking distance to their school, I moved a ton when I was a kid, etc. On the other hand, part of me wants to go and start somewhere on my own, use my share of the equity to pay off debt, plus the upkeep of a house added on to taking care of 4 young kids while I have a career seems daunting. Are there any scenarios for which a judge would grant me more than 50% equity in the home? 


Is marital debt always split 50/50?


How accurate are a state's spousal support and child support calculators? Because when I used one I found online for NY it says I'll have to pay him $67 in spousal support per month. How long would I have to pay? And when that ends he'll have to start paying child support? 


Right now, I'm paying for everything except one small credit card bill and the loan payment for the vehicle he is driving. How are finances handled during separation? Should we be splitting things? I figured it was fair for me to pay more of the debt since I'm staying in the house, but I would like for him to share the insurance and cell phone bill. Any time we discuss finances he gets mad at me and then asks why I'm angry. So I'm kind of just tired of bringing it up at this point. 


Any advice or sharing of your own experience would be appreciated. Thank you!",3.1402450980392165,4.207608351307194,4.1555032679738595,89.49276470588238,73.33006535947713,7.008627450980391,25.037908496732026,7.3011,0.9215833986928104,2309,70,509,24,45,749,275,612,0.108,0.754,0.138,0.9814,8,0,1,0,2,0,60.0,6,4,1,9,22,22,2,0,35,0,54,5,1,7,7,78,98,43,0,14,15,3,1,3,0,12,2,2,4,9,23,28,2,0,6,1,16,9,14,2,0,4,11,3,41,20,77,72,17,77,0,0,0,1,62,26,0,8,39,308,64,23,0.0,0.14399545323824595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05937979328057871,0.1077307150751999,0.06494033162077288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112429392100114,0.0,0.0,0.16529174745954647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409458793920558,0.05680797022636078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408473097165992,0.0,0.0,0.06846242867816789,0.0,0.10748510786307737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12390989305142093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03918901745280788,0.06264703700763682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835352664036523,0.05382060467300343,0.0,0.06777010866668512,0.0,0.05496629015098395,0.10239588500018584,0.0,0.054612527047734366,0.11888153880274155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662673918912526,0.0,0.0,0.09524311895004184,0.0,0.06906939136056837,0.0,0.0,0.06699468592742577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05999380553644081,0.0,0.0,0.06848765377144253,0.0,0.04073014240340028,0.0,0.24381285157104016,0.0,0.0,0.2804630390971794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060167882572954,0.0,0.0,0.06327839689888372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906153661739925,0.0,0.0,0.05377596281190557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05484365177467164,0.0,0.04056175046100709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711683584683658,0.14550842968904498,0.12916919860821754,0.08933994551503119,0.0,0.1405993644231052,0.0,0.06462528832167673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12352976232489725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632144543047789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05744347392682229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680717826561133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03892823027062087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10378759642281273,0.0,0.04832353072311801,0.0,0.06149839612310655,0.0,0.11063809638185536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053246085762604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06009908867436404,0.0,0.1290313787181692,0.2590737147188914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758259672732686,0.05727119859588727,0.0,0.04568843984718912,0.0,0.0,0.05594513222529299,0.0,0.0,0.0807404080433602,0.0,0.0597022476241697,0.0,0.035433120209860954,0.06984153251236165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744683858266464,0.0,0.10027656260779504,0.17920668934883174,0.04823319098877082,0.048742788133027334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05483182777264431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26543005759430993,0.061710782494824284,0.0,0.25899836909191704,0.0,0.0,0.11739385873368086
divorce,tato_salad,2018/01/12,"YES YES YES... Finalized Tuesday 1/16 I wanted to share my joy. 

Was in house separated for a bit before I filed, and filed the day I fully separated.. overall process took about 18 months, when it shoudl have taken 3 (basically walked away with everything that was in the initial agreement).  I am mostly satisfied with the way thigns turned out, and I'm sure there will be battles along the way. 

I didn't get everything I wanted.. My ex has elected not to send my 2 younger children to kindergarten which I do not really agree with but because it's not mandatory my attorney said its' not going to be a fight that's going to end in my favor.

This was in NYS

woohoooo",3.602241014799155,5.605875806201552,4.534023960535587,83.44344608879494,73.88372093023256,7.79168428470754,28.006342494714588,8.575989854853784,2.1369627906976745,525,21,101,10,11,170,87,129,0.065,0.813,0.123,0.7458,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,3,7,2,0,6,3,11,0,0,0,1,16,21,4,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,2,0,0,7,1,12,5,17,11,2,19,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,1,6,63,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2056710780416163,0.0,0.0,0.13344415911776436,0.0,0.18627440898792444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2389906139322211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117741704810474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19388732980743228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39348041916863497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23980278770267185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437028704248955,0.0,0.2488206876100454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25259020263063797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17473011230729615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14023793800082446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20823144104381505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063180047510248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2432146132933774,0.0,0.2381088184241393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582349766791353,0.34751763439757755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cptriad2020,2018/01/12,"To Leave or Not to Leave? Back in August, I discovered my wife of 20+ years was having an ""emotional"" affair with another man. During the past five months, I've been to counseling by myself, spoken privately to our pastor on guidance about this, went to my MD and he put me on 70 mg of Effexor daily so I'm able to work and function somewhat normally. I've tried working through this with her, tried suggesting marriage counseling but she wants nothing to do with it. We are still living in the same house, she's been sleeping on the couch for the past couple of months. We have three daughters and I've tried to stick around for them but I'm not sure I can do it anymore. I did have an initial consultation with a family law attorney, but all that made me realize that this whole situation is being crammed down my throat unwillingly, and I really want nothing to do with it. I'm about to lose everything I love because she's made horrible decisions.

Another twist to the story, my father passed away in early May. While I was working on cleaning things out at his house and handling the nightmare of dealing with probate and his estate, she was doing her thing with her new AP. To get to the point, I have a place to go live in my late father's place, without having to see her everyday. I now own his house and it is only 20 minutes away from our current residence so its close enough to still be around for my kids. 

What worries me, is that if I move out, even temporarily, that this may make me look bad and she could use this against me when things get to the point of mediation/custody/settlement. Can me moving out be used against me? Will the courts or her attorney be able to use this as abandonment of my family? I still pay the mortgage and pay like 90% of the other household bills. We reside in North Carolina, which I believe is a ""no-fault"" state. Anyone been through anything similar?
",5.423846846846846,6.180820821621622,5.890067567567566,80.29248873873874,67.81081081081078,9.409909909909912,31.362612612612608,9.516144504307137,2.7768018018018017,1504,59,290,30,24,485,201,370,0.081,0.889,0.029,-0.9532,2,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,5,0,1,4,13,6,0,0,16,0,31,3,2,6,2,54,49,20,0,5,9,4,0,1,0,3,0,0,2,2,21,25,0,1,2,0,3,6,3,3,0,2,10,2,45,3,63,31,6,49,1,2,2,1,32,24,0,6,19,211,66,6,0.18198527749066154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908274310376108,0.0,0.0,0.09024024718396248,0.06362416869496612,0.0,0.07487918861212331,0.16200548008606927,0.0,0.0,0.17098115879148262,0.06996772255476706,0.07597505258729167,0.05546826801601529,0.0,0.0,0.10251754425350144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265021789974464,0.10068162406405927,0.0,0.0,0.09380941507307654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023544713141494,0.0,0.09401971968947123,0.0,0.060099779719276464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177831646508688,0.0,0.17155952334326566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507979632353794,0.0,0.05171321352515424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31497986461973304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10264365986510343,0.1926961322629148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0444544070752521,0.0,0.16069633414909731,0.0,0.07641089946440874,0.10179748774044,0.0,0.0,0.08212440905746704,0.17219886978158924,0.06073829293192781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452589122522237,0.19342154945680531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08788125751126151,0.0,0.0,0.08915346640392087,0.17461978192236555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692040020511622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1737255394282059,0.0,0.0,0.19013588138588405,0.0,0.1720349100687339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09147273427451813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05829221437993641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250935222337618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227953839186517,0.09105835254081332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21800051652601302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575948516382757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18135439790358715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18533408638320986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23576527379490225,0.0,0.0,0.10733963173994716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08435108773315962,0.0,0.10159003162469528,0.0,0.08771365667061305,0.0,0.19873117417109354,0.09240744153367728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0585962760411452
divorce,stueeeeee84,2018/01/12,"Recent unexpected seperation Hi Everyone. This is a new account, my old one was a joint one with my wife that has been deleted. 

My wife and I have been together 8 years (married for 5), that is almost my whole time living in Canada. We have been living apart for a year due to work. The area we built our house together has lost the majority of it's industry and I had to move for consistent work. Our home is currently in negative equity and we cant sell it. The plan was for us to sell it in the coming 6 months and all of us move together. We have been talking everyday and seeing each other at least once every 2 months. We always talked about how good and open our communication was, apparently it wasn't? 

We have always been supportive of each other, telling the other how we are together through this, and that we are going to get to spend the next 40 years together after this difficult time.

She had planned a trip out to see me for next week, but this past weekend she called me to say our relationship is over and that she needs to only think about herself. She has since gone NC. I have not been able to hear about my dogs or how she would like to proceed. I am also now aware that she is away with a new guy this weekend.

I have not been pestering her, just told her how I feel and that I still love/care for her and am happy for her to put herself first. My company has offered to fly me out for face to face talks, I've even offered to just come home and take any job available. She just isn't interested. 

I believe that by contacting her, causing her to deal with the situation, causes her anxiety, her coping mechanism - Pretend it isn't happening. 

I have had my dark days since Saturday, and am now in counselling. I've kept myself pretty well together, but shit this is hard.

I will eventually accept that she has moved on and i'm no longer in her future plans, it was just a huge shock. 

I am working on myself right now. I know I have a subconscious control issue and internal fears of being alone that have affected my life decisions a lot more than I was aware. I do love my wife and am struggling to move on from our future plans but I have to find the source of the issue, which i believe is my internal resentment for past emotional situations. I have been reaching out to my past 2 major ex's, I've forgiven them and offered my apologies for my reactions to the break up and subconscious negative behavior throughout the relationship. 

I've never been abusive, but also never been true to myself. I need to remove all my negativity/resentment and learn to love myself before I embark on any form of relationship. 

I just hope we eventually can talk (prior to lawyers), I don't mind losing the house and material possessions, I do fear losing the unconditional love of our family dogs. Has anyone ever arranged joined custody of pets?

Thank you for reading",5.297174710424708,6.162716032142857,6.221631274131273,77.41390926640929,68.14285714285714,9.839768339768339,29.956563706563703,9.966358637471284,2.8633445945945937,2278,83,436,53,37,755,259,560,0.08900000000000001,0.797,0.114,0.9609,3,1,0,0,0,0,55.0,17,1,1,12,21,23,2,3,21,0,60,7,3,8,6,80,85,30,0,4,12,4,2,1,0,2,1,2,3,1,25,39,0,2,7,4,4,11,12,10,1,3,23,6,82,13,69,59,11,70,0,3,2,3,65,21,1,4,38,318,107,7,0.07097164284011694,0.08408979139661846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106784847180916,0.07350521805477662,0.0,0.1135119942757864,0.11810818452549215,0.0,0.0,0.09652630170522676,0.0,0.054293112514760516,0.0,0.0,0.04962502284669918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06668019469190915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06039164074844707,0.15992147575737253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07246998244512956,0.0,0.0,0.14581485447114775,0.0,0.12227157209606583,0.0,0.0,0.07960073228647305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04577083829435497,0.07316864741378118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983354567316102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04687610074639216,0.06419791415211974,0.059796670074654674,0.06781644615666843,0.0,0.0,0.06690574855520247,0.15972565897269556,0.035885395079229776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486679579614776,0.06036844314392292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03707975413742722,0.0,0.040334820168189525,0.05952764678750255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07027308455750801,0.06275998937606553,0.0755506335156406,0.06357665173341796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999019954270027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14238068888537642,0.0704908551255903,0.0,0.1637834940046524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14815191222678606,0.07042840441467475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03900415883612075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05012937021880783,0.03467315977553026,0.0,0.12533852177719215,0.0,0.0,0.1587982289898461,0.07747393193360103,0.06033755277270204,0.2562187143245717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166112752737888,0.0,0.11329777641202565,0.301726498207193,0.0,0.10524914777505123,0.10947541244259054,0.13708970981456775,0.15095829463239555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744728004453486,0.07558248336087463,0.09618444389803336,0.053977132484619085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20325139109900744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07220367553456745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134610355360371,0.0,0.0,0.0709908487746033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007593522182676,0.2285909520432302,0.0,0.060609395202991585,0.0,0.056439498979621736,0.0,0.0,0.11311042122799768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285137148546761,0.1174169527161309,0.1595502002951194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056678045649925825,0.0,0.0,0.07419497069222003,0.0,0.0,0.08053777924294618,0.0,0.0,0.05336184288583698,0.2281772726273445,0.062032344044046624,0.06534115338624602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04547576302261054,0.0,0.0,0.08276827135781048,0.0,0.0,0.06781644615666843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17074029565752155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056929170942838926,0.0,0.06381203026492208,0.0,0.0,0.07923730468750731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15500460376737535,0.0,0.0,0.05041621879770818,0.0,0.0,0.13711023327696795
divorce,SoleProviderSTBDiv,2018/01/12,"US - IL Divorce options, 2 kids, single income What are some things I can do to get the most of my income/money after the divorce? 

I know I'm F*cked because we do not have a prenup.  Married for 18 years, with wife always staying at home.  So, she will likely get lifetime alimony.  We married young, she is 39 this year.  I've asked her to do something with her life, to go to school, get a job, etc... but she likes where she's at.   She likes cleaning the house and generally takes a very good care of it.  But I'm just sick and tired of her and she of me.  

Kids are 18yrs old and 8 yr old.  Financially speaking, what are my options.   Assuming I'm making around 100K before tax, what is my net going to be worse case?  And what is my net going to be best case?  What can I do for best case outcomes?",0.6929411764705868,2.710263242424247,2.426809269162213,94.95080213903744,83.24242424242425,4.852049910873442,20.00891265597148,5.900188976854957,-0.16187344028520512,605,17,137,4,17,199,99,165,0.068,0.773,0.159,0.9613,3,0,1,0,2,0,29.0,3,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,6,0,16,3,0,1,0,22,30,8,0,0,4,1,0,3,0,1,3,1,2,2,8,10,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,20,7,18,27,6,14,0,0,0,0,19,4,0,5,9,85,28,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13635666756763762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14588300118262165,0.15320048647062914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09989634183089767,0.0,0.13944508442804515,0.0,0.3439522436406189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670809203212171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1827633265989458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568529045833708,0.0,0.27940087406324543,0.1374501111281629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643794317929264,0.0,0.0,0.18908910957172712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626201023523171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006111035470749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11574936822139807,0.2401823314798867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938746584265414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439173308422369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16584968914892598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12615855544043822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466835625588673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232131896771319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10887090086823804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834956985988255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19712078234804964,0.0,0.0,0.13521358105123804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16700206162405354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21105954199737376
divorce,MartyConlon,2018/01/12,"Wife is leaving me, any advice for what is ahead? Hi all, 
31/m here, my wife is leaving me and will be filing for divorce.  In short, this is a result of financial issues for us (really me); we just had a baby, and had to buy a house, and in order to do so, needed more cash for a deposit than we had on hand.  In order to make sure we could get the cash needed, I suggested I sell my 401k which would provide more than necessary and leave us with a little left over to do a handful of things.  She was irate about this idea, and demanded I ask my parents to loan us $28k to pay for it, and tell them it was my fault we didn't have it.  I had worked for a company that went out of business 6 months after I took the job which really fucked my finances for an extended period of time.  My parents don't have that kind of money, and wouldn't be able to help, but she was not understanding of this.  So I did the dumbest possible thing I could, in that I sold the 401k anyways, didn't tell her, provided her the money and said it was a gift from my parents, and moved on.  My mother didn't realize my wife didn't know about this, and mentioned it to her yesterday, and now we find ourselves here. 

Nobody to blame for this but myself, and while I am broken hearted and I miss my daughter dearly and feel awful about how I've hurt my wife, I need to prepare myself for where this is headed.

Any advice for those of you that have been through this before? ",6.821185714285711,4.711101490000004,7.320476190476189,80.74500000000002,65.76666666666667,10.438095238095238,31.42857142857143,8.841846274778883,2.237357142857143,1117,30,245,14,14,370,153,300,0.112,0.8440000000000001,0.044,-0.9623,4,1,0,0,1,0,36.0,8,1,1,2,12,7,1,0,14,1,33,5,4,3,2,43,48,20,0,7,4,9,3,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,22,21,0,0,6,0,11,3,7,4,0,0,18,4,42,3,45,23,3,25,0,2,0,1,33,12,1,0,8,186,64,4,0.11125606800188513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21743628404419907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131588274883306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400940511654977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946707194729998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17765783462171605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05625441085256304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10168603058010772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285444211134714,0.058126703606118574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418082314632977,0.0,0.0,0.13183897625931593,0.07457259720440128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283745649485513,0.11910192184874792,0.1255945586389877,0.0,0.11612242976004265,0.11040448039895497,0.0,0.0,0.11585607427895338,0.06114342537629541,0.0,0.0,0.35341233571781444,0.12088004341490975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150780815567407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07426428930878473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08880353203430183,0.11824759319061168,0.0,0.2474848941086369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706100917443715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12542450014073175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425469720728912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10582999805300934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485752743029517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944854144866915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14782717594019135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487430794949788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236095851917271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582149044593686,0.4014820536237687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313548966459607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0809957425587471,0.0,0.0,0.07903311861600552,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,six_feet_above,2018/01/12,"After three and a half years in limbo, it's done. She (and her free lawyer) had been trying to alter our mediated agreement nearly every week for the past six months. Every time she'd see a YouTube video about alternative medicine or take a new shady ""marketing"" job selling pillows at Sam's club, she'd scribble all over the thing in red ink and cost me another $1,000 in legal fees trying to dial it back. 


Even standing in the hallway waiting for my lawyer on our court day, she brought me yet another modified agreement and said ""You can sign it now and we're done, or we go to trial and it will just cost you more money.""



In the end, I stuck to my guns, and our agreement from six months ago stood. I get my kids every weekend, one weeknight, and spousal support ends in May.

Whew.",8.390267281105992,6.268596690322582,7.814746543778808,78.4735483870968,62.74193548387096,10.405529953917053,36.33640552995392,8.418075326091056,2.8012211981566817,617,22,124,6,7,194,106,155,0.013,0.878,0.11,0.9337,2,0,0,1,0,0,23.0,4,2,0,0,6,5,0,0,7,0,9,0,0,0,1,16,19,10,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,5,9,0,1,0,3,6,2,0,0,0,5,8,3,18,6,19,7,2,29,0,0,2,0,13,10,0,3,16,78,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523558028238358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604494473672573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13216038591139814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084441817233112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3517732554665371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30445844261577265,0.0,0.0,0.11352106072442734,0.0,0.4344334089169657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08979699578373496,0.0,0.09767987304222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1705582812345621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743761437325194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1659968408715336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11646617276858615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640730432202214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16349139550997047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13696121042850767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950404146776797,0.0,0.0,0.12922774953880278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418535260982447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10022102744530267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23338213188011026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13786683979022565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11068112798021806
divorce,YouKnowNada,2018/01/12,"Craving for connection My wife and I are separated and going through the process of a divorce. It’s been about a year now since we parted ways.  I’m in a place where I have made peace with the decision and I’m even excited for the future. However, there is still one thing that is extremely tough and that’s my desire for an intimate connection. 

I know I’m not in a place where I can be a good partner to someone. Especially since technically I’m still married. I still have a lot that I need to work on before I start to share myself with another woman again. However, there are days when I really miss that intimacy and connection. Hanging out with friends is not helping to fill that void or satiate that desire.  Neither is masturbating. 

Random hookups are not really in the cards at the moment. I lost my mojo and I’m working to get it back by hitting the gym but it’s still a few months away. 

Is anyone else in the same boat? How do you guys and gals deal with it?  Any advice?  I don’t even think it’s the physical connection that I’m after. But the deeper connection I once had with my wife.  I don’t even know if I’m making sense. Am I?",1.905331709145429,4.101085271551728,3.856844077961018,85.37691154422791,79.90517241379311,7.6554722638680675,24.31109445277361,8.587818076936951,1.8003753373313338,901,33,185,21,23,305,127,232,0.028,0.904,0.068,0.8059999999999999,2,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,1,1,0,3,17,7,0,0,17,0,18,0,0,3,0,34,37,13,0,4,7,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,13,14,0,0,4,1,0,3,6,3,0,1,4,0,20,4,26,31,5,31,0,2,0,0,12,12,0,4,15,130,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406298450313863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09786558501629952,0.15090503557790394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062712041264224,0.14745558911965426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521073836336736,0.11065999897416244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245912559645768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09281179921391187,0.14836769579898454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022061162220435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851589841391543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11118661097964867,0.0,0.07518845675869028,0.0,0.08178891561269376,0.12070716218452457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14249621936459228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09646166309861318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15818133524777658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570977347780077,0.12234944872507394,0.0,0.13617369593863038,0.09606285853135252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148697606116654,0.0,0.0,0.1067094588470554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326235068418012,0.09751898399976476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558434522666513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30071632562634937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18438834788244585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2380921793416872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219367811883638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10186216438747764,0.0,0.4597155384280236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560921690360913,0.09221346044856067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423121906250586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954034924407175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09267507373171002
divorce,anchoraweigh_xo,2018/01/12,"It's over for the second time. After 5 months of emotional hell, I’m back. Since it’s been a while, here’s a little history. Last August (2 weeks after our 7th anniversary) my husband (27M) and I (27F) began an in-home separation (no kids). He was the one to initiate everything, and I was completely blindsided. In September, we reconciled. Things were amazing for about a month. It was like we finally had everything we ever wanted. Then everything went downhill again, so we started seeing a couples therapist. We were reading therapy books, I spent hours online reading advice on how to save my marriage, and I did everything in my power to be the best possible wife I could be. 
I think we had about 4-5 therapy sessions, and I really felt like we were getting somewhere, finally. The last 3 months have been so exhausting, but things really seemed to be looking up.


Today it all blew up in my face, all over again. I spent a lot of time being afraid that he wasn’t being honest with me, or himself. He told me that I was right the entire time. I spent the last 5 months focusing on healing. I broke down all of my walls and dug deep within myself to see where I went wrong. I centered my focus on growth, not only for myself but my marriage. I tried to repair all of the wounds I had caused, and I focused on forgiving him for the wounds he had caused. In the end, he couldn’t bring himself to do the same. He doesn’t want this marriage anymore, and really, he only stayed with me out of guilt. 


This isn’t the first time I’ve been here, I know what this feels like, and I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst. I saw this coming the whole time, but I just wanted to do everything in my power to make this work. It just hurts way more than I expected it too. I handled it much better this time. I didn’t plead, scream, or cry. I told him how I felt about it, but other than that I didn’t say anything. Then he packed some bags and left. 


Now I’m stuck alone in this stupid apartment. I’m surrounded by his stupid things. I’m just wondering how this happened. Two days ago we were talking and laughing about the future. Now he’s just gone. I just watched my partner and best friend for the last 7 years just walk out, and he’s not coming back. Maybe that’s why it’s so much harder this time. I felt some kind of weird comfort knowing that he was in the other room during the in-home separation. Maybe it’s because I know that its real this time. It’s really over.


I don’t know what comes next. I plan to keep seeing the therapist. I’m trying to keep my focus on healing and growth. I’ll be graduating in June, and that’s really the only thing holding me together. I’m just so scared. I love my husband so much. I wanted it to work so badly. I don’t even know how to begin moving on. How do I let the last 7 years go? I’m trying to look at everything as a learning experience, but I just feel so broken. I gave it my best shot, and I still failed. I never imagined that I would be starting my life over, just as I was getting ready to settle down. I guess I need to start picking up the pieces, but I don’t really know how. 


Thanks for reading, people of Reddit. For those of you who have been going through this for a while, how do you cope?",2.7498864272127115,4.319239605740183,4.092621685129242,87.55559807541685,75.14803625377644,7.26019917198165,23.588564395210923,7.984000788550335,1.1611982992055498,2537,75,531,39,54,836,278,662,0.103,0.785,0.112,0.5151,2,1,0,0,0,0,95.0,9,2,0,11,40,32,3,3,29,0,45,8,1,11,6,103,107,43,0,9,19,3,5,3,2,1,6,2,1,2,43,30,0,3,18,4,3,13,13,15,0,4,38,14,79,17,75,58,18,104,1,3,7,1,44,37,1,8,55,360,122,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05867275744438425,0.05322398214700951,0.0,0.0,0.06218583877037901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05954594627863422,0.0,0.0,0.04940979531445284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09233782881802607,0.05013291232078194,0.03660130164224025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890324448715973,0.053102640764804254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336020857338068,0.0,0.15516368367686142,0.06295333450575724,0.0,0.0,0.047938986285911776,0.06643579516734288,0.06595377846148429,0.03872239340119725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753964046469853,0.05317976215525228,0.0,0.0,0.03965745181555525,0.05431180594394446,0.0,0.0,0.3237735306105833,0.058733007521851316,0.0,0.0,0.060718502758412535,0.04289431649795596,0.17295041592701071,0.13154707145495692,0.0,0.051072051366057136,0.0,0.0,0.046388624374975804,0.0,0.06273937207334089,0.0,0.06824698137599143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06614349433707384,0.0,0.053095313283232866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059129688597064,0.0,0.06427665191676207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673692249342946,0.0,0.06252494034754406,0.19798646112033194,0.2447129282950903,0.0,0.0,0.0652362644838793,0.06139744195160692,0.04240973656814895,0.08800107994457951,0.06017827806276237,0.0,0.0,0.10084102064424363,0.0,0.0,0.051045917933695,0.05419062782409576,0.0,0.04007878126272783,0.0,0.1206413613033374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060508636742485064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19170114567241486,0.06381558978670447,0.1324142607367168,0.044520693275011736,0.04630841542706834,0.0,0.06385579431970333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040686297372822915,0.13699489696668354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04162585364545587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768880646290296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18017600353678406,0.06834141836561071,0.23078826848873274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127589819888293,0.0,0.047748141923914106,0.060112936418443425,0.0,0.14353810390356705,0.05466036369011878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04966770988335326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12749500070627126,0.06399723030396921,0.04794995378396038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825982243905058,0.0,0.05527899293516419,0.13732747892637046,0.1394277536500305,0.15955806227564273,0.038472758018030975,0.0,0.0,0.2800897413364144,0.0,0.0569131931235812,0.11474620981427378,0.0,0.16305944624873428,0.0,0.058652719360549124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14165829869958954,0.04765887786575383,0.04816240723134177,0.0,0.0,0.11131984885776627,0.054178944610587525,0.0670352171491385,0.0,0.0,0.06511344272496421,0.08742319301614174,0.0,0.0,0.042652412121681985,0.06564696012180647,0.0,0.0773306991981323
divorce,bearyfuzzyfozzybear,2018/01/12,"Hiring a lawyer and starting a custody battle, I'm scared. Me and my ex were together for 3 years and have a 1.5y son. She is mentally unstable and I was considering a split already cause I couldn't continue to deal with her mood swings. She suggested a split cause she wasnt in love with me any more. We established 50/50 while I saved for a lawyer. Ill skip the things shes done to me, but she is a danger to our son due to the condition of the home. He had food poisoning recently due to that. I also dont believe she is attentive and have plenty of evidence. My lawyer thinks we have a good custody case.

Let me be clear, I dont want to take our son away, but i have to act in his best interest. Its killing me inside that I am going down this road. I just wish she would be a good mom and I didnt have to do this.

Has anyone had to fight for custody while hating themselves for doing it? I need help.",1.984078947368424,3.5249774473684217,3.573881578947372,90.59029605263159,77.15789473684211,7.486842105263157,22.927631578947373,8.278499904357787,1.1142894736842095,705,21,160,13,16,234,110,190,0.166,0.69,0.14300000000000002,-0.4151,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,4,0,0,1,2,14,6,1,12,0,27,4,0,2,1,24,37,11,1,5,3,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,7,10,1,0,2,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,7,0,30,6,21,25,2,15,0,0,0,1,24,5,0,0,8,110,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18038915932068605,0.13072396454793125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111627094789632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429945828528153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358199743678844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841705756359797,0.1715478276152031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33584989829597484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16852660781028192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728280925500152,0.3831626412037369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19766413434999805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290168207076126,0.2742156029561078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613891577259046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10956803486233548,0.0,0.16397005659984495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18085127390942354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16715539697563195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475347444187514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473561232594122,0.0,0.0,0.1914497893114685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212082119623253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16140327953968975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636583126429887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570230929307455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290633605947372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859976569288332,0.10474262338682144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096416676335987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18797821147981025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11612179031477406,0.0,0.0,0.10526695666779874
divorce,killerbutton,2018/01/12,"Anyone here get a weird ping years later? Just got an email from my ex-wife, it's been nearly twenty years and last I checked she's happily married with a kid.  I've been married for a long while with a family of my own.

I'd be elated if the email was just, ""Understand it's been a while, but you doing OK?"" instead it's along the lines of ""I can't believe...old drama...old drama...crazy stuff."".

She was definitely the prime motivator, a lifetime ago, but I'm guessing things didn't turn out as expected.

Respond?  Write if off as a drunken email?
",0.4407722007722015,2.8214951171171165,2.4913320463320474,91.32263513513516,88.81981981981983,5.333590733590733,20.54118404118404,6.868970318607317,0.5105670527670525,422,14,89,6,14,141,75,111,0.014,0.889,0.097,0.8426,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,0,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,11,1,9,0,0,1,0,16,15,9,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,7,0,7,1,12,7,1,11,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,3,8,56,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22287365916905968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580265300259318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23702171651315174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135951937354484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010880519938073,0.0,0.2769736877713106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049454534403602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225037789615068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5276578284012151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2878222040505873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16703602283587904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734788969724068,0.0,0.2617429576120739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32381973691455546
divorce,throwaway03662015,2018/01/12,"Need your advice for my sister that is lost, need a divorce but her husband doesn't Well this is not my case but my sister's. 

She is 25y/o she got married in December 2013, lost a pregnancy, has gained a ton of weight, and is suffering from depression.  She confessed to me today that she asked her husband to divorce since they can't stand each other, that they aren't in love, 

She told that she doesn't blame her husband because a failed marriage is a thing of two people and that she wants a peacefull divorce. 

Her husband told her that he doesn't want the divorce and he is not going to contribute with it.  I told my sister to go to a Lawyer and ask for advice in what she can do. 

I'm worried for my sister because she isn't a confrontational person and she confessed to me that she isn't going to fight so she prefer to stay in her current misery because she fears social shame  (we live in a little town) the stigma of being divorce and lot of bulshit I called her a coward because of it.

They rent a house, has a ton of good furniture, her husband bought a lot of empty land when they were dating but not married, then they got married and between the two bought another property next to the old one, they have like 150k in savings of which my sister contribute 115k and the rest her husband (according to her) 

How can I help my sister? 
How can I encourage her to see a Lawyer and don't fear shame or social embarrassment?

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divorce,Aredanetemp,2018/01/12,"Note or no Every day feels worse than before. My wife wants nothing to do with me, and I've emotionally come apart. The papers are in process to the best of my knowledge, but the divorce is inevitable now. I've just run out of will to keep trying. She's cut all ties so I think I know it isn't worth it, she doesn't and probably won't read it/care. It's a one chance kinda deal though, so it seemed worth seeking advice.

Just looking for advice/experience. If you had a former SO who died would a note matter, would it be preferable? Would it be worth writing?",1.3415797101449307,3.557519730434784,2.512717391304349,94.1166123188406,82.1304347826087,4.8768115942028984,20.018115942028984,5.985473137389443,-0.11579710144927445,439,12,95,3,12,140,81,115,0.16399999999999998,0.7829999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9148,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,1,0,1,7,2,1,0,6,0,13,0,0,0,1,25,21,9,1,6,5,1,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,7,5,0,1,6,1,3,2,4,1,0,1,1,2,8,1,10,13,2,8,0,0,1,0,8,3,0,4,3,60,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20287892027129614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17666502564111847,0.0,0.2178790747315481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17884189063108696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13389446321833268,0.21404189075313368,0.0,0.0,0.2154715335292005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2335388676078164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17492454454077758,0.0,0.0,0.20308725325572025,0.0,0.0,0.10497635373446637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453770141171905,0.0,0.0,0.11409974353231525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743442636623326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19921213801646426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068525906012688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238440242790543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20767112738814847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1890048473961584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330312728859831,0.20398062820004245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14095691866168195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245667299207627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115773648095648,0.4424510980116591,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kriss_priss,2018/01/12,"Should I just move on! My BH and I have been together for 9 years, married for 6 years and have a 7 year old daughter together. We met when I was 19 and he 24 in 2009, have been together since. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, mainly financially but through it all we have stuck together. We never had any issues with trust but we did have issues with communication, and openness with one and other, mainly due to me being verbally abusive to him. I deflected a lot of internal conflicts with myself onto him, which in turn caused him to shut down a few years into the marriage. I was selfish, inconsiderate, unaffectionate and pretty much only saw him as a extension of myself, and with that any shortcomings of my own, I blamed on him, and was mean, really mean. He has recently opened up to me and said that I made him feel stupid at times, alone, unloved and less than a man. Throughout, the marriage I always threatened to leave him if he didn't step up to the plate. I always felt like I had to take care of everything and make the decisions for our family. He worked hard to provide, but managing our family was left up to me. He admits that he was irresponsible. In June 2016 we moved back in with his parents for the third time, everything was manageable but in March of 2017 he lost a good paying job, the same week I started a relatively decent paying job, it was a huge blow. After the frustration wore off, I encouraged him to finish obtaining his personal training certs, which he did and we begin the process of trying to start a small PT business. Eventually, I begin to feel as if I was putting more effort into building something for him than he. I worked full-time, went to school part-time and again, was responsible for managing most of our lives. Around this time I met a girl in my training class, who I connected with and we began to flirt, flirting turned to hanging out. In May 2017, told BH that I was moving out, tired of feeling like I was the only one putting real effort into helping our family grow, I told him I was unhappy, didn't love him and never liked him. At points I told him I wanted a divorce other times that we needed time to work on ourselves individually. I moved into my own apartment in July of 2017 and the girl I was seeing and I began a sexual relationship, at the time our connection was so strong, she made me feel a way that I had never felt before. I liked her, but I just had a connection I wasn't in love, she however told me that she had fallen for me. That same month he met a fitness model at a fitness show. BH and her began a relationship, and apparently fell madly in love. By August they were planning to spend their lives together. This led to a big blowout between us in August, with me telling him to choose. Ultimately, he said he wanted to work on our marriage, but after seeing him cry over the loss, I told him to do whatever makes him happy. He went back to her. Between Sept. 17 and Dec. 17, I begged him to come back to his family, He would tell me that I should let him have his moment as I did. He then began to tell me that I wouldn't understand and their love for one another was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. During this time I maintained a relationship with the woman I'd been seeing, for fear of hurting her feelings. In October of 2017, I slipped into a deep depression and attempted suicide. My BH and family were devastated. He offered to work on the marriage if that would help me, I told him I didn't know. I broke things off with woman I was seeing. In December of 2017, he told me that the OW is pregnant, they are keeping the baby and he will be there for her and the child. He told me to let him go and that he has already let me go. He told me that I should just move on. I have never felt this much guilt, pain, shame and hurt in my life. I've realized what a crappy person I'd been, I feel this all happened for a reason and that God was forcing me to change. I've been forced to come to terms with a lot about myself and realized my shortcomings. I am working hard and praying to change. However, I can't get over him, I love him and even told him if willing, I would help him support the child as his wife. He declined. I don't want to divorce!  I am still holding out hope, should I just let him go and move on, or fight for our marriage/family? Any feedback is appreciated! 
 

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divorce,LSnow2176,2018/01/13,"Contemplating divorce I am 39 with two children, boys age 11 and 12.  I've been with my husband since i was 19 and married for 17 years.

A year ago I came to the realization that I didn't love my husband and probably never really did.  I was a really driven person always working hard to put myself through school, focused on a bachelor's degree then a master's, I set my sights high and got a dream job, wanted kids and dedicated every spare moment of my life to them.

My husband was pr resend during that time, had issues with the law, drugs, gambling . . . 

And I don't know why I stood by.  I don't know what kind of insecurity thing made me feel like I had to ""Take care of him.""

Now, he has grown up some, I stood by and supported the family while he got a degree (because that is what he thought I wanted him to do, not because he wanted it - I was informed after the fact) and got his life straight.

But I am exhausted now.  I know that all those years that I focused solely on the kids didn't help a relationship with my husband, but I think the reality was there wasn't a relationship there in the first place and focusing on the kids was a way for me to fill that space.  I am tired now and I want to seporate, but he is fighting me.

I know now that he has been more responsible, but there is still a $60k a year difference in our incomes, he has taken a manual labor job instead of finding something in his degree field.

This isn't about the money, it is about feeling like I've  constantly got to be the grownup.
Being a very driven and goal oriented woman I can't be attracted to someone that just coasts.  

I feel like I have a 40 year old child living with me.

If the kids were older or younger I know what I would do.  He is a good dad to the kids, I don't want to take that away from my boys.  

Personally I am emotionally checked out and want nothing to do with him romantically, but I don't know that I can leave my kids.  I am the main financial provider and except for during baseball season, I am the main caregiver for the kids.  

Imaging what only 50/50 custody would be like, breaks my heart.  If i want to stay together so I can keep time with my boys, can I keep going like this?  Can I keep pretending?  So much of who I am and my success in other areas of my life is due to fighting hard for what I believe in, having to pretend to be happy for another 2 or 4 years seems like such a betrayal of who I am.

Maybe I am just delusional and afraid to change.  Maybe my thinking that it will get easier on the kids when they are older is stupid.  It will hurt at any age.

It is just me, needing to stand up for myself.
",4.5277070707070735,4.582077662962963,5.825892255892256,82.43924242424245,69.5925925925926,8.98989898989899,28.58585858585859,8.841846274778883,1.9763888888888888,2038,66,438,33,33,688,241,540,0.077,0.802,0.121,0.9612,3,0,2,0,5,0,58.0,1,0,2,7,18,21,3,2,32,0,60,8,1,1,3,72,102,29,0,12,14,5,5,6,0,4,6,0,0,17,28,24,0,3,15,3,3,7,11,7,0,2,27,6,67,14,61,66,6,60,0,1,1,1,48,19,0,6,35,300,95,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031964959178941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06600740474783046,0.0,0.0,0.05394588606256073,0.0831825186984418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453144110843561,0.0,0.0,0.09671545052666954,0.0,0.0,0.08937569924215426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073031034210337,0.08088037152867521,0.0,0.0839187011618847,0.0,0.0,0.0857255861042571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288106915566444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919955095394348,0.0,0.0,0.08923353081539187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683741723823207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747835527670248,0.0,0.12033214160628818,0.1700162135905713,0.0,0.0,0.07250452391615661,0.06747651361514663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04144570249948984,0.0,0.04508403564018878,0.0665367178570167,0.2537839851693537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08444632800778569,0.14212494418873428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400428114601944,0.053172010222554016,0.08381458284595981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492246272057807,0.0,0.0,0.08279801500469103,0.15744196609642885,0.21153160714785973,0.0,0.08260809730175125,0.26158017510687953,0.0,0.0,0.08399709380313422,0.0,0.0,0.1680955291835427,0.2325344649451252,0.0,0.07004824069288952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715967841193107,0.07506224669887443,0.0,0.0,0.15939164848084947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583153435747757,0.0588208439953842,0.0611827866804105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611753297675616,0.0,0.08324158569450417,0.0,0.0,0.06033265933861704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1385326225793506,0.08288106915566444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552920052643857,0.0,0.0,0.07974673649186245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163933321885894,0.0,0.0,0.17033756583795645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08028435832464724,0.0,0.07221740024322637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06562109436639167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721451369985995,0.06107071241842967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08455329023277558,0.06335159099364839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002068422841865,0.0,0.0,0.1192898451739503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05270212118748112,0.10166059560087433,0.0,0.06297771782611948,0.0925138051988949,0.09117607898164648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749210988473766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06545406052421669,0.32752873174572816,0.06296702081029837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07158134823032111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05775186345612314,0.0,0.0,0.11270493313923485,0.0,0.0,0.30650850148420944
divorce,tewksburyavocados,2018/01/13,"exercise, what's best for you in a state of grief? what kind of exercise do you find works best in a state of grief?

i find that if i do any sort of intense workout, it completely wipes me out. in the past i could do intense workouts and feel energized afterwards, but now it leaves me feeling like i'm dying, and it makes the stress and agony even more amplified.

i don't want to quit exercising because it's a natural mood enhancer. what kind of exercise do you find to be the most helpful? or the most balancing as far as the grief?

thanks in advance for your responses.",4.369736842105265,5.4359890877193,5.183289473684212,83.28177631578949,70.40350877192985,9.559649122807018,31.793859649122812,9.827888789773867,2.982512280701754,452,20,93,11,8,147,68,114,0.134,0.6629999999999999,0.202,0.7862,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,4,0,5,2,12,0,1,8,0,7,4,0,1,0,18,13,8,4,3,3,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,5,6,0,1,1,4,0,0,0,2,10,7,16,11,5,12,0,3,0,0,5,6,0,5,4,62,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12581728311862994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278408891781032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3883259358576987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193985846349682,0.0,0.0,0.14772028997078673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19201748724955625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220138003664725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709938463385095,0.13217552898148946,0.0,0.0,0.5073040529371293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240123826383991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38533156556377457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19590532111966932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09038951421587844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349967424208508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661878932751365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19678738180191635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119353016897028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17033795451939468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912728126888516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13469391431741345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,C1ockworkAnge1,2018/01/13,"Where to go from here? 1)	I’m 33 years old been married for 9 years and we live in Utah. We have three kids ages 4, 6, and 13… The 13 year old is not legally mine but her biological father is dead. I do own a home. The loan is in my name however the property it sits on was gifted to me by my Dad and I stupidly put my wife’s name on the deed.

2)	Currently we have not officially decided to divorce. 

3)	Reason it is being considered is because of irreconcilable differences.

•	My wife is unbelievably insecure. I work in law enforcement. I have a department issued phone that I keep on me at all times. She accuses me of “hiding” it from her… My work schedule is unpredictable and any time I’m not working normal hours I’m accused of having an affair. (I’m not nor have I ever cheated) … I know this seems petty, but after years of trying everything possible to reassure her, I’m exhausted.

•	Another reason is her substance abuse problems. I work in law enforcement and cannot tolerate it. We’ve discussed it before, but the conversation always goes south and ends up hostile while nothing changes. I’ve looked the other way for years as she’s done this. She’s begun to lose a lot of weight and doesn’t look healthy at all.

•	Hypocrisy is one that drives me nuts. I’m constantly accused of having an extramarital relationship while she routinely deletes social media conversations and has many friends of the opposite sex. I don’t have a problem with that, but the double-standard isn’t fair. 

•	I get no help. Kids’ Homework is zero, Yardwork zero, and she does minimal housekeeping. Her spending is also a problem.

4)	Emotionally I’m checked out. She’s upset that I’m not intimate with her. But I struggle to find the desire to be. At this point I wish she’d move on.

So I’m looking for the best way out. I sincerely believe the kids are better off with me. But I do have a demanding career. What is the best route to ensure I keep my property, lose minimal time with my kids, be legally responsible for them, and not have to go bankrupt?
",1.975342849146376,4.557417287153658,3.9604903442485297,82.38120011195078,82.67758186397984,7.357604254128183,26.454464035824238,8.378751543991594,2.2433753036663857,1601,70,303,38,45,542,206,397,0.179,0.708,0.112,-0.9797,2,0,0,1,2,0,49.0,3,0,1,9,5,18,3,3,20,0,36,3,0,2,3,53,56,22,1,6,12,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,14,19,1,2,6,0,3,6,12,12,0,4,3,4,44,6,44,49,6,48,0,2,3,1,37,18,0,2,21,198,58,9,0.0,0.118542913176113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08000996469604213,0.08324963132300489,0.0,0.0,0.06803744433307111,0.10491116929410636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0609895634462753,0.0,0.08513519782728414,0.11272211109602312,0.2099926463925827,0.0884861120444995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058396548011827,0.0,0.0,0.108118527995338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453097614161723,0.0,0.0,0.08755444656207846,0.10238590689192216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254280592323296,0.08861462113365076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050097089107917,0.0,0.0,0.08991850654390228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144390554861832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07729839712142685,0.0,0.05227200593913485,0.0,0.11372146382477764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706141931562852,0.0,0.10035832745075082,0.0,0.0985291159724014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442622687182247,0.0,0.17785810925807113,0.0,0.0,0.05498487435424315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883460004947374,0.0,0.2520504552004021,0.2238607607298789,0.0,0.08505894902102447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143501661713096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10633733740403303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09802777678450968,0.09600069237292497,0.0,0.20997133113425606,0.0,0.06779648273902003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945796077460168,0.1127913645455585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872030707273671,0.0,0.10057790391128167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573616734662745,0.0,0.10741627860269748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0910817804202806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10198839560155523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10459400389505276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750199133987942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06792739599610725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15883009756227726,0.0,0.12183397049792985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505258516398613,0.0,0.0,0.2913504240505256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32214466244872103
divorce,jefemundo,2018/01/13,"New job with 25% more pay, mid divorce. Should I have to share it as A part of alimony/maintenance calculation? We separated just as I started interviewing for the job 4 months ago. About 2 months in, we submitted sworn financial statements based on the old salary. I’ve since received an offer, for 25% higher pay, accepted it and start in a week. The maintenance payment calculation should be based on the old salary, but if she requests an update to asset values and income values, I may need to legally disclose it. 

However, morally/legally I plan to fight hard to avoid sharing the additional 25%. She neither needs nor deserves the additional funds, she filed for divorce, don’t think through all the ramifications, and has no right in my mind, to participate in my personal betterment. 

We do have kids, so I am fine to calculate child support based on the 25% increase ( though with 50/50 custody, they’d see the increase anyway), but I plan to stand firm on sharing my self-earned increase with someone who does not deserve it. 

Over a 6 year period, the value of the incremental portion (half of the 25% increase) is north of 6 figures. So if it costs me $20-30k in lawyer fees to fight it, I will. May be risky, but the upside is too great. ",7.38226807527237,7.329578154506439,7.504721030042919,73.18041597887094,63.59227467811159,10.602707164080556,37.23638164410697,10.214889679676881,3.789506701881808,982,45,178,20,13,318,141,233,0.075,0.743,0.183,0.9824,6,1,0,0,4,0,44.0,3,0,1,3,7,11,2,1,18,0,16,0,0,0,1,31,23,14,0,6,7,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,7,11,0,1,4,0,5,5,5,3,0,1,0,2,18,8,33,15,9,31,0,0,1,0,22,13,0,4,12,113,25,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1594391227187606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15907562936956227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740073068146654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19830136546724933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112335989619636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3569757400563391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18161198059903474,0.0,0.2871324284395778,0.0,0.0,0.26673465577951794,0.0,0.17371435936211282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774752995469967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19477584295229536,0.0,0.0,0.1570508381384183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15360339259969708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143328805549141,0.0,0.18763801331771668,0.0,0.0,0.14878586253427678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152398698805875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254618190818426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20410822584072555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524997829029734,0.17671606428846798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427653939494414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582691055813207
divorce,mac745,2018/01/13,"Started getting sleepless night Im a male, 30 years old.

Ive been recently divorced and found someone who I can laugh with again and enjoy spending time with. Ive noticed that since things have gotten more serious with this new person, that I dont sleep anymore. I can when im at my place but I dont when im in her place. I do miss a lot about my life before but my Ex isnt one of them. Does anyone else get this or been through it?",0.2560638297872337,2.2566075851063867,2.010042553191493,97.39400000000002,84.85106382978724,4.611063829787233,21.102127659574467,5.6839178017228535,-0.12204340425531912,339,11,79,2,10,111,65,94,0.039,0.908,0.053,0.2967,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,1,0,4,4,0,0,2,0,11,2,1,0,0,10,17,7,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,4,0,12,2,8,13,2,14,0,1,0,0,7,4,0,2,10,49,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15861060999610205,0.11182890696909502,0.16387030941673672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609124565709513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995848955004342,0.0,0.3748806862256415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13360354085197634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535833398946787,0.0,0.0,0.16711683493550575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5182654149300733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296544277543365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596935958307912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.154464335992676,0.0,0.1500863329684251,0.0,0.0,0.18208483709665568,0.16782283201074275,0.0,0.1083747735671094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139647370080535,0.3341919938149414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15791459209807174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13229827140281322,0.0,0.1600485514218017,0.0,0.13551075399660614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132014357386578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625241166255674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325824741943728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299164038679352
divorce,hgoodman81,2018/01/13,"More upset about being divorced than not being married to spouse Wondering if this is a common phenomenon. As I’m nearing finalizing everything, I find myself more upset about the stigma of divorce and finding another partner after 10 years of marriage than I do about no longer being married to my spouse. At first I was more upset over the loss of my spouse, but as time has gone on I realize I was essentially living without that person for a year or two already because of work/travel. I’m much more anxious about the stigma of being a divorced person and social situations than the feeling of still being in love. ",10.54826086956522,8.477362086956525,10.515652173913043,60.63608695652175,58.56521739130434,11.982608695652175,42.130434782608695,10.355215969177356,4.6652956521739135,500,22,75,8,5,167,73,115,0.104,0.831,0.065,-0.1227,0,0,0,0,3,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,3,7,0,10,1,0,0,0,12,16,7,0,1,5,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,4,0,2,3,1,8,1,25,8,5,14,0,1,0,1,12,5,0,3,8,67,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252254029765496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21401282376037206,0.0,0.2305707874902488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124415243685431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18342864371121909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319724952328273,0.0,0.0,0.2235775808077454,0.3730807419994311,0.17360425534401652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022082072891488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420492888757015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003430459034425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564181297348967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294128543797904,0.0,0.2080505315148072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16299161278602664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190102259298586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19937248252489392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19674160307409774,0.22133379088558372,0.14858457725324778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26286272218245393
divorce,divorcedatpeace,2018/01/14,"Doing ok roll call This sub is a great resource to have for those of us who have found ourselves in this place. But, there's also so many people hurting, bitter, angry that a lot of times it's harmful to read the comments and I have to stay away.

Can I get a 👋 from those of us who are actually doing ok and feel pretty happy and healthy about life?",3.4841095890410965,4.16170179452055,4.490301369863015,88.87353424657536,72.15068493150685,6.387945205479452,24.189041095890413,5.6839178017228535,0.4320104109589038,273,7,59,1,5,89,55,73,0.109,0.6729999999999999,0.218,0.8417,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,2,0,0,0,4,7,1,0,4,2,8,1,0,0,0,7,11,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,4,4,11,10,1,5,0,1,0,0,6,3,0,1,1,43,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.20870004826606525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17102666402664496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2009319160950917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21837867299815208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081358749238014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344904267010853,0.0,0.0,0.11173491741577332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2357854020926086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276618060975413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2289454343051533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15105820337275458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818192065443805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168241490096966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14826610996358372,0.0,0.22344197007043504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21757619247067544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2139215000106882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279501692969828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1247055998609832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.514503218228771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,supersarah2017,2018/01/14,"Better to sell house before or after divorce? Good news/bad news, our house has appreciated enough that neither of us can afford to buy the other out, so we are selling it. I hope to be able to buy another house immediately after the sale, so long as I'm not left penniless after this divorce. I don't want to move my two kids, dog, myself, and all our stuff twice. From a financial disentanglement perspective, is it better to sell the house before or after the divorce is final?",7.173152173913042,6.813621315217392,8.131652173913043,69.53508695652178,64.1086956521739,10.403478260869566,31.44347826086956,9.888512548439397,2.9485452173913047,379,12,68,7,5,129,64,92,0.013,0.8290000000000001,0.158,0.933,1,0,0,0,3,0,13.0,4,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,5,0,7,0,0,0,1,10,10,6,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,8,4,14,9,3,9,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,3,6,51,14,0,0.1557285685784412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329498237852375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300268499763433,0.0,0.0,0.2650270838184145,0.0,0.0,0.2754585275194784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16090924021190625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17059303492538658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061773483170425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546736066305826,0.0,0.7187594384866912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16919954541611842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781488269965467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16551482320144342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17827195328871254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15212418325510388,0.0,0.1873222936469499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918527445356493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Helpimalive2kids,2018/01/14,The reason I finally cried My(28F) STBX(27M) and I were feeding our children dinner. We are trying to remain an normal as possible for them during this time. I looked over and watched him eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and completely broke down in tears. I was sobbing uncontrollably. Over a fucking sandwich. I have no idea why it made me so upset. He just looked so childlike and pathetic and it was too much. Please tell me that I'll stop crying about irrelevant things soon.,3.018575757575757,5.996995544444449,3.465353535353536,84.79045454545457,82.44444444444444,5.9393939393939394,24.84848484848485,7.348242739294969,1.510333333333333,389,15,67,6,11,121,72,90,0.278,0.6990000000000001,0.023,-0.9735,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,1,0,6,5,1,2,4,0,5,6,0,2,0,13,9,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,7,5,1,2,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,4,4,11,0,8,5,1,8,0,2,3,1,7,4,2,0,4,46,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22069274868726604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.462422547407551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21538185572100169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305794046421769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19459283953219386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23761542324925006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3535139512645228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991689120481082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15473295892799166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062336289606117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310527050373655,0.0,0.23729368540902745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164168044615259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759774611168283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397586081693285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983892837163858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12273729298839928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429075904977109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899327541735253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,zirigidoon,2018/01/14,"Going through separation after 3 years of marriage. Desperate. I didn't see it coming until it was too late to fix things up. The communication got poor between us and neither of us made an effort to improve it. She would rather talk to her friend or her family about her feelings. I would rather be quiet. Eventually, we were not a team anymore.

I had my second chance after we first separated, but let my ego screw everything up expecting some sort of apology and thinking that I might be better off alone - without my wife and all her issues. When it came to crisis management I did poorly... 

After realizing she's not coming back I got so depressed, that I stayed at home for several days in a row. I felt suicidal. I tried to get her back to no avail. I couldn't sleep and cried a lot these past 2,5 months. 

I tried reading books. I went on a short vacation. I tried exercising. I talked to a therapist. I think I annoyed all my friends by being miserable all the time. In the background, however, there was always hope that she will come back as we're still married. 

Not anymore. We are going to have dinner next week. And I know she is going to bring up the divorce. And then she is moving back to her home country, and I am not going to see her again. 

I'm losing it. If it wasn't for my family and friends I'd probably hop out of the window by now. I never had a panic attack before but I have to take a whole bunch of sedatives to calm myself down these days. 

I just wish I could go back in time and give myself a kick for every time I felt annoyed or angry with my wife ""being difficult"" or making a fuss. I wish when things got hard I tried everything in my power to save it. I hope you do. ",1.8609907120743048,4.055087538011698,3.6867423460612296,86.546346749226,80.05263157894737,6.596628826969385,22.047127622979016,7.724431198458867,1.0439990368077052,1326,41,268,22,34,445,188,342,0.14400000000000002,0.723,0.133,-0.5982,2,1,0,0,1,0,41.0,5,1,0,6,17,17,4,2,15,0,26,4,1,2,4,59,58,21,1,12,14,2,4,0,3,4,1,1,3,0,14,18,1,0,7,4,2,12,11,9,0,2,16,7,53,8,46,31,8,54,0,3,2,1,30,13,1,10,28,202,67,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872521871630969,0.0,0.0,0.07128184081027689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16991737063319984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09745862650788101,0.0,0.3293633333434652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728963422712351,0.0,0.0,0.07576553616440293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798027301907222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22138371119978248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683981615004237,0.0,0.09410122199637516,0.11049630885984664,0.0,0.07378489694078239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217817688707581,0.0,0.15398402533439426,0.0,0.16151852429075286,0.0,0.04331582996942,0.0,0.16450758761827164,0.0,0.0,0.07286834136749562,0.0,0.0,0.1985584302633365,0.0,0.04475749318012436,0.08217963185562699,0.24343276817699866,0.0,0.20554727572023804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07674084207320568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186205410505473,0.17017340276052065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0894141338766283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04708036538306156,0.0,0.09663615371582496,0.0,0.0,0.08760035360933431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583950617211416,0.0,0.07283105483171858,0.0,0.08106022559880698,0.0571834151268615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087919272051412,0.0,0.0,0.06837861486743313,0.09105050721021488,0.0,0.0,0.06607170327546466,0.0,0.09110787004481267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1005118146955253,0.0,0.0,0.08177888412500149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923635595104386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08569022378369548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365310807604067,0.0,0.0,0.09677937225051332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572890877827577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09130966741357832,0.06841380965573324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09370583860252343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441095348663581,0.13771184519761154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09946603746394482,0.1138267510198824,0.10978396166284116,0.0,0.0,0.14985942168459546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23264919020551336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20609380499506655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06871693298668245,0.0,0.0,0.07941420532930486,0.0,0.09564419200349683,0.19702573885642674,0.08257997055189005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171081613124468,0.0,0.0,0.05516676574207143
divorce,Pika_Jime,2018/01/14,"Struggling mentally and physically after my wife left with my son. How do you deal with the crippling silence of a cold house where your warm family one was?

I'm in so much pain. I need help",2.0360526315789467,4.449416552631583,3.3307894736842094,88.10302631578949,80.84210526315789,6.957894736842108,22.657894736842106,8.07648339933343,1.2799789473684209,151,5,31,3,4,49,35,38,0.152,0.738,0.11,-0.4173,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,4,3,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,5,1,5,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,1,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3309714255745783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3026417975614907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21518197729711727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704295378712665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3488038198064325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32352624409195146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359965493999381,0.2380422606599747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175405972383345,0.0,0.3416022616264601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33561390142416336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,grapescucumber,2018/01/14,"I don't know what to do... Using a throwaway account because I am ashamed of what I am going through and hardly ever tell anyone.  Last night I found out (confirmed) that while my husband moved out for a temporary separation, he was having a full fledge affair and it is still going on up until this day.  I found lots of pictures and he didn't deny it once i confronted him....ok let me give some background.  We have been married 11 years and have 3 kids and one more on the way.  Weve been having serious issues for the maybe the last 2-3 years but in hindsight we've always had infidelity issues on his end but nothing i could ever confirm as an affair.  We've had our great moments when he was doing the right thing and then bad moments when he just went outside the marriage.  I've always forgiving him and given him a chance to fix things.  So this last year we separated and i felt he was seeing someelse and he would hardly come around so i started dating someone else but stopped shortly after because my husband I started talking again then he moved back in and we were supposed to start working everything out and i got pregnant with our 4 th so ive been feeling like shit.  Last night he drank while watching football and passed out on the couch so i went through his phone and found evidence of the affair while we were separated (pictures) and found out he is still talking to this woman.  I messaged her but she never responded.  This morning he found his phone and figured out i had texted me a lot of the pictures and message i found on his phone so he ""came clean"" and said he was leaving as soon as he packed his stuff.  So now he's gone, I didn't kick him out, i didn't really even say anything but asked him if he loved her, to which he said no.  I didn't stop him from leaving, but i did ask him to stay and watch the kids because they are little and i hadn't been able to sleep to which he said no.  

So now I am sitting here at home with my 3 boys (6,4, & 2) wondering what to do next.  I feel like crying, I am ashamed to tell my family about what happened.  I hate that i keep thinking somehow we are gonna work this out.  I love him and i don't want him to end up with this other woman .... I am just so lost and feel betrayed.  Yes i cheated on his as well but it was only when i had convinced myself he was gone which i know now that he was out with someone else.  I wanna message her so bad and tell her that I am pregnant and that he is a piece of shit because part of me thinks she doesn't know but I am trying to take the high road because I know I am only doing it because I don't want them to end up together.  We are military and I am away from all my family so i have nobody here...my closest friend moved away this week so i am alone and i needed some advice, i needed to tell someone.  I don't even know where to start to file for divorce, he is the main provider, i have a part time job...we have so much debt...I am scared for mine and my kids future.  

Thanks for reading,  I really do just need some advice, someoone to talk to...anything.  I am really hurting today.",2.4412260743950887,3.9214230657277014,3.6431885758998455,90.82981717226437,75.77621283255088,6.104742987841579,24.808023353798,6.5822867389190165,0.7228545563982179,2405,80,519,19,52,782,262,639,0.111,0.8009999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9333,2,1,0,0,1,0,70.0,9,0,2,3,36,23,5,3,19,1,64,6,3,1,4,102,119,60,0,9,12,2,6,2,1,2,0,4,3,6,27,48,1,3,20,1,1,12,13,13,1,1,43,13,89,10,68,72,13,95,0,2,3,2,90,32,2,8,50,356,116,3,0.06016650631875206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758802726741699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06231435527731796,0.0,0.0,0.10012670619106176,0.06519038445906704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042069820159023136,0.0,0.09902381636350836,0.053560946663782326,0.11249512305339608,0.0,0.11305682649348572,0.04626432950232584,0.1004730392390202,0.22006166283953846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688144546884812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051828117687049806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04803805950234629,0.0,0.06609008198966526,0.03880241912471629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052279126370564,0.0,0.15986899869962767,0.0,0.0,0.07947881995940043,0.10884809912560987,0.0,0.0,0.05407377632057119,0.0,0.11343925495076773,0.0,0.09126598018800357,0.08596592827190576,0.057769281434158326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3958168119998676,0.04648449353239584,0.0,0.0,0.05771719529240661,0.06838802415725805,0.0,0.04812065141805898,0.06633378562285057,0.0,0.0,0.05320504283473392,0.0,0.10779474351075877,0.059401968679490526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06356921729618263,0.060351911514777576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440948940750615,0.0,0.0,0.1255964016953766,0.05970597367713649,0.0534787553000837,0.0,0.0,0.1653296919135543,0.19617493186563512,0.0,0.12741528566771754,0.0,0.0615243291164443,0.0,0.05878863171943743,0.06030264563974055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06567884902597661,0.10230282419515237,0.10860524201983143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060445342525285266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918424232670063,0.044229304991227535,0.1338381062049639,0.046404118820481434,0.0,0.06398776204412501,0.11292438077846675,0.0,0.05773138551249146,0.0,0.0,0.0640753656071285,0.04077038180300873,0.09151867852404362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030892631993926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018278822984203,0.0,0.11563261379771116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05138186765200892,0.1716963765013342,0.047846820731408286,0.060237168956961865,0.0,0.0479449157522124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235201082405413,0.0,0.0,0.060209957850058865,0.0,0.15293665666855746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034465139088492,0.06412949032739358,0.0960980993328,0.10060378672058153,0.0,0.0,0.06887625502445212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045237724937602364,0.14507867613678008,0.2103527138748129,0.055393235393247975,0.0,0.0,0.07994390665629214,0.07710453566402073,0.0,0.0,0.03508357368069123,0.0,0.05703081290524872,0.0,0.0,0.0408491083572323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196454361993174,0.0,0.0,0.07097552857445241,0.0477573721954766,0.0482619421811878,0.0,0.05409691488748559,0.1115499082798318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652480095713596,0.08760386635936658,0.0,0.0,0.04274055982744245,0.0,0.0,0.11623577229864035
divorce,Mini_noodle,2018/01/14,"Filed for annulment, kinda lost on how to build myself up again First time poster, I don’t understand what happened. It all went downhill so fast and so scary. I moved out and now I have my own place closer to my job but how do you cope with being alone, alone? I have my dog but I still feel depressed and at a loss on where to go from here. ",0.4054166666666674,2.5528387083333333,1.5227777777777796,100.17500000000004,85.52777777777777,4.711111111111111,15.944444444444445,5.985473137389443,-0.7932555555555556,265,5,63,2,8,83,55,72,0.218,0.782,0.0,-0.9378,1,2,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,3,9,3,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,1,13,11,9,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,1,3,0,1,2,1,10,0,11,8,2,17,0,3,0,0,1,8,0,1,6,46,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5451960540945275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22669560721235654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308290427925526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238795956592488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495838348640902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327487725928995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611874993312743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28731621443467364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27974220843024794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749902040909716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21019355944976367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15347527747919862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2740026976177106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439910096081329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,d3w90,2018/01/14,"Wife wanting a divorce while I’m deployed (27m) Recently was told that (25f) she was done, we’ve been rocky here and there over time but when i left the bus station that day to leave we were fine. Yes we’d argue here and there and we don’t have to go into a lot of details about this..

 I’m just curious as to why she would want to keep the ring. She said she wasn’t going to sell or pawn it but I’m just wondering why she would keep it if she wanted nothing to do with me? 

As well, i know it’s “social media” but her Instagram posts of us are still up, i get that when the divorce is finalized she’s not ready to take them down. However it’s the framed pictures I’m confused about, the day i left she framed a picture of us together and put it on her nightstand. As well as a photo downstairs we have of us together on our kitchen counter. I suppose I’m just confused as to why she would want to see that every night before she went to bed if she wants this done with? Idk. 


",1.79925978046721,3.1175849856459337,3.2066197579510285,93.96986771742192,77.13397129186603,6.448747537292429,23.777371235575572,7.048011613610866,0.6256482409231641,758,24,178,8,17,248,113,209,0.071,0.845,0.084,0.4009,1,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,8,0,1,0,14,6,1,2,9,1,17,1,0,0,0,35,39,18,0,10,10,1,0,0,0,3,0,2,2,0,11,10,1,2,2,0,1,4,3,3,2,0,10,3,28,3,29,25,1,23,0,0,1,0,29,8,0,7,10,118,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267997626496966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556423548506747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469714702691572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10166838635109687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1321864054400523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304429267952685,0.0,0.1371573392010555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21451135256889448,0.0,0.0,0.06631623274171385,0.0,0.0,0.127770481535924,0.2622132811041188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025880140000454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323918031968412,0.0,0.11578464684219605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11556703385318914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213051364177496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191455518702354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478334324166575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09615714379568477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300630417180874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09636599221273684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072766848305368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07036275247026705,0.0,0.0,0.11530388966821314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43544791849455655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35586693604698977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2169908838977921,0.11186087620108363,0.3266535632940263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13085980317831564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571582466726395,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,fuckit5050,2018/01/14,"Parents are looking to divorce and I want to know what to expect Hey guys, 

Background:I am over the age of 18 and live in TN. My dad wants to divorce my mom due to irreconcilable differences (though there is a good chance he also cheated on her). Mom used to have a job but quit because of getting pregnant and since has been a stay at home mom for 5+ years. Dad obviously is the sole bread winner. I am currently a college student who will finish in 2.5 years that's currently paid by my parents. I have another sibling that is in high school. 

Questions:
What can my siblings expect in terms of custody. What will be a financial outcome for parents (how much, how many years, what could change the value, etc.) What kind of lawyer should my parents seek out (like traits I guess). What things should or shouldn't I do. 

Thanks",2.6749374999999977,5.090613618750002,3.207500000000003,89.87750000000004,78.4375,5.75,26.25,6.9077264865688965,1.1351875000000002,649,26,128,7,16,202,106,160,0.033,0.884,0.08199999999999999,0.7678,7,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,0,0,1,5,5,1,0,8,0,19,1,0,3,1,21,28,9,0,8,2,9,0,1,0,5,0,0,1,1,10,4,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,11,4,21,19,3,19,0,0,1,0,17,9,0,3,10,81,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10108560975710812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325461092092013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07705499225262807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13371916963973654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10092368443522057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206576833177627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097439863198796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604111892385332,0.0,0.0,0.10602207302077224,0.0,0.0,0.13924877572722905,0.12516029953186733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355326365505138,0.12679399076230946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254369328968127,0.0,0.0,0.1316308048595715,0.06946859147647635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175483957403724,0.0,0.11161746369392003,0.0,0.10614791982591502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281542935860375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4441301659725239,0.0,0.0,0.09292183043958616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5614288241567942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160193649608846,0.13444671429860786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12792807302297615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10456308460491452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473034739209816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1163762538826323,0.0,0.0,0.08397751378263192,0.0,0.1241917509265082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917287784828388,0.0,0.0,0.1491132639968763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24420100489236385
divorce,mchgrms,2018/01/14,"Filling out the paperwork for divorce is intimidating... cheap solutions? To start, I went to a family attorney and they wanted at least $800 up front to file for divorce... and I just don't have that kind of money. Can anyone recommend cheap solutions? I started to glance over and attempt to fill out the pdf's from my states website (Indiana) and I just don't know what's what. I've been trying to find a ""filing online"" solution, just not sure what's good.

My wife who moved out and wanted the divorce, is now pregnant (we have a kid also) from her boyfriend of one month, and this entire situation is about to turn into a nightmare and complete embarrassment. 

Help?",4.50173228346457,6.314853700787403,5.437015748031494,78.70198031496064,71.04724409448819,8.54456692913386,29.23543307086614,9.120678840339163,2.597258897637796,528,21,96,11,10,173,84,127,0.059,0.848,0.093,0.4891,0,0,0,0,3,0,24.0,1,0,1,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,9,0,0,0,1,21,16,8,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,12,0,0,2,0,3,5,3,1,0,1,2,1,9,3,21,14,1,17,0,0,1,0,10,7,0,0,4,67,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529487788656352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17075751049563526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2560498391043887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302197239571293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223203777622355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.204832001841054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636890073117751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543074333026164,0.1342115868119005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492632078551714,0.25955688647029523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16548321034705304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27450259404048544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457065954620636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23016530492006546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16580275415204918,0.2656306649673351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880831085009025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22638538222744356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FluffyAwfulCatName,2018/01/14,"Scotland: overturning a Minute of Agreement How do I do this?
I think my husband has lied about his assets. I think he has a secret bank account with tens of thousands in it. 
The MoA is signed and we're separated but living in the same house until next month. 
Can he be forced to declare this money to my lawyer?",2.4247311827957034,4.665642225806452,3.285161290322584,89.91440860215056,78.35483870967741,5.423655913978496,23.23655913978495,6.42735559955562,0.5661204301075267,246,8,49,2,6,78,49,62,0.1,0.8440000000000001,0.056,-0.5733,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,9,9,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,1,9,8,1,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4910474468939345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757836617797501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396837036844792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4525955781880836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5453725960241679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Nikkilee81,2018/01/14,"Found husband cheating in oct So..long hell of story short

I'm having to live with my husband of 12 years while we divorce.

I can't move on, this blindsided me so bad.

I'm trying so save any money I scrounge up.

I'm on ssi because of a bad hip.

No family Alive on my side.

No kids..just us.

No financial stability on my end at all except for the 900 a month from SSI

Scared out of my mind.

Selling anything I have of even a tiny bit of value. .it's not much.

I sit awake at night having panic attacks due to my life now..i don't know what to do

",-0.4081153846153853,1.4753883166666668,2.2683333333333344,95.24076923076923,86.66666666666666,5.0256410256410255,19.23076923076923,6.297961479604792,-0.11461538461538412,418,12,100,4,13,145,84,120,0.247,0.684,0.069,-0.9743,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,2,0,0,0,3,8,3,2,4,0,6,2,1,0,1,10,11,3,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,6,7,0,0,1,0,12,1,22,10,3,19,1,0,0,0,5,11,1,0,6,57,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14710450339311734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17801230569774465,0.0,0.0,0.2460943681909323,0.0,0.0,0.3612350651027623,0.13186620295445736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361645875649369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19159464267088425,0.0,0.0,0.14287682008913774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20392653072763284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371828849717435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888339891806145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527926789108123,0.0,0.0,0.1910138550461309,0.1914357232110013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218420770117107,0.0,0.1726639562503098,0.22991312158036425,0.15901953388656956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030009560333688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538040235075459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21657329980840745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14686656667875375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602054150856762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13930250042395573
divorce,Mazz0928,2018/01/14,"about to sign for a divorce... I have this urge to say a farewell txt, to my ex.  Have no ill will, or bad feelings, just want to say a few things that were in my heart, and partially for closesure, but also to give her thanks for the times.  Thoughts? Or should I avoid this?",1.5801785714285683,3.2919238035714287,1.842285714285716,101.8027142857143,78.82142857142857,5.194285714285715,21.91428571428571,5.6839178017228535,-0.24521714285714324,207,6,51,1,5,62,42,56,0.151,0.764,0.085,-0.4423,0,1,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,4,0,5,2,1,0,0,11,10,5,0,2,4,1,1,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,3,5,1,10,6,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,2,1,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657762742311652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2774942950563453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16804367968902031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31881572492684496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938305701061206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5285883612205119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30597873663942804,0.0,0.0,0.22079533165970536,0.0,0.0,0.26384490379663184,0.19379311346241904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19602576389836324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BlueMeanieNZ,2018/01/14,"After 22 years together she told.me yesterday that we needed to split up. I am devastated. Dear friends,

Yesterday my wife of 17 years (F46) told me that she had lost her feeling of intimacy/romance towards me (M46).  We have been together 22 years.  She explained that this had been building up over several years and that she couldn't pretend anymore.  We have 3 great kids (10/12/14). We are about to move back to our home country after living overseas for the last 14 years.  I finished with my last job 3 months ago so there is a big requirement to find a new (very senior) role back home as soon as possible (non USA).

This news hit me like a tonne of bricks and shocked me to my core.

We have had so many great adventures together with the kids and we have bought 2 properties in the last 2 years to develop - one to live in and one as a holiday home.  We spent most of the day crying together and trying to deal with the wave of emotions.  She said that she still loves me dearly as part of her family and a major part of her life including into the future with the kids etc.  She said she really wants to keep things amicable and stay as close as possible - share the holiday house etc.  The word divorce was never mentioned, although that is the inevitable outcome - only a matter of time.

I was so looking forward to 2018 and all the changes that were in store for us.  New schools for kids, new house, relocation, new job etc.

I don't think that running to lawyers right away is the right thing to do.  I think we trust each other a lot do do the right thing for the kids.  She has asked that we don't explain this to the kids for several months yet - after they have settled into school.  This means that we will share the rental place we have lined up for the next 6mths, until our new house is ready.  She even suggested that we could then share that new house for an extended period.

There is no violence, drinking, affairs etc behind this.  This almost makes it harder  She has just stopped fancying me.  I have never been through these feelings before and I feel like my heart is truly broken.  I feel numb and so confused.  I can't concentrate.  I am trying to look normal for the kids.

I dont want anyone else. I only want her. But that has come to an end. 

I am looking for some advice on how to deal with these emotions please.


thanks

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divorce,Throwaway7799z,2018/01/14,"Unmarried lurker here. Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing their experiences. Your difficult experiences, generous insight and hard-learnt lessons have been very useful in shaping my perspective on life before, during and after marriage. These are the kind of realities no one tells you about, even as they constantly ask you when you're getting married (especially as I'm in my mid-20s and come from a very traditional community where the familial pressure to marry is high).

Main lesson: people can change and, along with it, their commitment to marriage; the promise of *forever* is quite the challenge.

Anyway, here's to hoping the best for you, wherever you are in life.",9.351329192546586,10.570386791304351,8.671055900621122,62.15652173913042,59.34782608695652,12.13664596273292,40.776397515527954,11.765960540728905,5.504031055900622,551,28,78,16,7,174,87,115,0.053,0.753,0.194,0.9543,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,0,5,3,5,8,9,0,1,6,0,7,2,0,1,1,15,15,7,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,7,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,1,0,10,7,19,14,2,11,0,0,0,0,13,7,0,1,3,59,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849435724329524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833805601055687,0.0,0.20760951270680408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092770345610162,0.17041231614936414,0.0,0.21378305666690167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066430345669292,0.0,0.0,0.1890342532522056,0.0,0.3870297846393264,0.18649573861765836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335757815959663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721608202438155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20901738358812744,0.0,0.1964890069437102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20600864163386826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794651917743966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405416795757247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13714984002679495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210415677503008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17291141748655622,0.18213452395414692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086088847347647,0.0,0.32645957329727826,0.11668477222471067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Sad-hurt-and-depress,2018/01/15,"Where should I start? Hi follow Redditer, first time posting in this sub; while using different account. I don't know where to begin, and where to go mentally. I'll put my story here and would greatly appreciated for some guidance. I meet my wife 10 years ago, and married for 8 years going 9 this Aug. She told me she wanted freedom last November, and I played off as a Joke. She reconfirm what she said this past weekend, and told me she plan to leave me in few month. Reason she said in a few month is her parent is currently living with us until April which they will go back to their home country. She told me I made no improvement since I meet her, and she been keep improving by herself. She lost interest in my look because instead of losing weight I have been gaining them. She told me I don't have anything to offer to keep her stay with me now. we meet when we were broke, and worked off from there, and now we have a little something. I'm emotionally afraid of letting her go and what I will do without her in my life. I could say that we spend 1/3 of our current life together, but realizing that I might not have that chance to spend the rest with her. Another thought is I'm scared of financially independent, because we always have our money together. I make less then her, but she did not mind before. I go to gym now, and drink GNC Lean shake like work-shipping. I'm trying to lose those weight, but I think mentally I just can't let it go. I told her that once her parent went home, we can split the house rent, and I move into another room as it is high cost renting here. I hate the ideal of seeing her go, and her dating and other etc. What should I do? How do I fix my emotion?",3.6991228070175453,4.8680852631578935,4.546954385964914,86.82874736842108,72.09941520467838,7.577263157894738,25.66830409356725,7.976525956113202,1.3179685146198832,1328,41,279,18,25,429,188,342,0.075,0.855,0.071,-0.3299,7,0,2,0,0,0,41.0,9,0,3,8,14,14,1,3,6,0,29,5,0,6,0,51,63,23,0,6,7,3,2,1,0,6,2,3,5,0,15,23,3,2,5,5,7,12,7,8,0,1,15,7,66,6,33,39,6,52,0,4,2,0,51,14,0,2,25,191,81,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683000329813827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.072118520981218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176749238792966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132413967982369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664585593235699,0.0,0.10566958774795374,0.0,0.07375197286970424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06920099409854008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905543877642762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490612147395113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498994965559596,0.0,0.0,0.09666282580120424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372364330160003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34480613013940103,0.0,0.0,0.09555681380503098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557121845919505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157432828332887,0.17387930802516074,0.0,0.0,0.10000850826897843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407712419098055,0.0,0.0,0.04763297748887842,0.0706497121394561,0.0,0.09177373652161017,0.0,0.1772571490276684,0.12243879803672808,0.042343839435056,0.08686868429475632,0.07653346674372323,0.0,0.0727831292976655,0.19392887047065974,0.09461334806047944,0.0,0.0,0.08201168087324423,0.05785461313464978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469112880920293,0.09194589943902842,0.08751458757721475,0.0,0.13836243606864412,0.09211922475553863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230345778276336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247926274511906,0.0,0.08273877475031786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08300836302667132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712987142644897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911383669565286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16489092274052994,0.06892550601271416,0.08677436217630483,0.0,0.06906681632012635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169644510267846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672477840497452,0.0,0.0,0.06134729076141564,0.09238142688656252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05553628282170684,0.0,0.06880833872720178,0.050539472251468216,0.0,0.0,0.4140967719274112,0.0,0.05884498532296852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425642934219016,0.0748572717888529,0.0,0.0,0.05112172707331725,0.0,0.0,0.2110876797397185,0.0,0.0803463402199697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354926403662995,0.0,0.12619732565691424,0.0,0.0,0.061569706583228724,0.0,0.0,0.11162858611423288
divorce,Theflyingvegan,2018/01/15,"An open letter to the STBX who left I took the little grey box out of my jewelry box today. I opened it up and saw the sparkle of my favorite piece of jewelry I’ve ever owned. I’m not sure why I suddenly felt compelled to take the ring from its place in the box and slip it onto my left ring finger. The finger it never should have been removed from. I stared at my wedding ring back on my hand. It was almost as if you had never left me. I loved the way it looked, the way it felt, the way it made me feel. It hugged my lonely finger the way you used to hold me after a long day apart. The ring doesn’t know why it’s been hidden away in the dark for months. It doesn’t know why I looked at it with sorrow in my eyes, rather than security as I always had. The ring doesn’t know why I had to slip it off my finger and right back into the box I pulled it from. Unfortunately, I know why I can’t wear this ring. I know exactly why it’s tucked away and out of sight. It’s stored in its box because in reality you did leave me. Now the only reminder of our marriage is the invisible one I constantly carry with me in my broken heart. ",2.6963180827886717,3.3258038847736637,4.261249092229488,89.97091503267977,73.93827160493828,7.199128540305011,21.290002420721365,7.285733465282438,0.3669106269668365,876,17,206,9,17,294,121,243,0.078,0.858,0.064,-0.3614,0,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,3,0,0,5,6,0,0,18,0,14,10,8,3,5,33,31,7,0,3,3,0,8,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,19,11,0,2,8,0,1,3,7,2,0,1,12,21,31,4,36,18,2,46,0,2,7,2,9,26,0,2,13,134,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10501272354379923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08726071209792878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1970586981764557,0.16127798429332746,0.0,0.06392812379210057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332782612871405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763283948408348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486143109593824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302570928695004,0.0,0.20138437893726768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427212589849886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2881706029513991,0.0,0.0,0.1110427875087594,0.34182653112369404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510785783508696,0.0,0.09280715101723126,0.17612972658948314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09464978043055204,0.09923106541814876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08370668543035144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176529146281188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106300973980445,0.07975879125625697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1095674211338944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955889054574892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09883926756676524,0.0,0.07884961449171891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994050345796755,0.0,0.11651505775494887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0905744981057594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3329654965580105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5677762466229613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,PoseyForPresident,2018/01/15,"6+ years into the darkest of my days This isn't a normal post here, but I don't know where else to go. No one can relate to how I'm feeling, and I don't even know who to talk to.  

I am 29 and my parents are in a very nasty litigation after they physically split up in late 2011 after 23 years together. I will never ever turn my back on either of my parents, but it is apparent, as a reasonable well-rounded adult, that neither of them is telling me the whole story. There is a multimillion dollar company hanging in the balance, which my father says will be dissipated if my mother receives the amount she is seeking. He has offered her more money than she can spend in here lifetime as settlement, but it isn't enough; she wants exactly half. While he won't ever tell me, I know he is doing some shady stuff on his end as well. I never understood the phrase that money is the root of all evil until recently. I'm being emotionally drained by standing on the fence, but I will never find solace on one side or the other. I sometimes feel like never coming out of my house until this is all over. Thankfully, I have a wonderful family of my own to take my mind off it, but it always comes back. This weekend was hard for me, as there was some nasty depositions held with a lot of 5th amendment pleas last week. I keep my blinders on and keep pressing forward, but it feels like I don't know if this will ever end. Though I know it will eventually, I also know that no one is going to be happy, whatever the outcome is. Divorce sucks, but it can also be one of the best things to happen. I'm still waiting on those good things...  

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it helps just to type this out.",6.3380289855072505,5.3568496,7.1052898550724635,78.25909420289855,66.04347826086956,9.869565217391305,31.34057971014493,8.998388855275968,2.405666666666668,1332,42,271,19,18,445,190,345,0.095,0.794,0.111,0.7785,4,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,0,1,2,1,18,10,2,0,17,0,34,0,0,3,10,57,64,24,0,4,12,4,5,2,0,6,0,1,0,1,24,9,0,5,13,2,5,7,13,2,1,5,4,6,34,8,46,50,13,53,0,0,0,0,25,19,1,7,29,210,58,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153790706785793,0.08000890694965486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787497062677554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10090904811426547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16565854218698364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620122095147493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032540925884737,0.1081617629275526,0.1703300991004382,0.09935412201344383,0.0,0.06350966442924601,0.26093390362715724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064665301657923,0.0,0.14585701646066682,0.13738672163694146,0.0,0.0,0.08788419616857407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929453827888444,0.080650498047834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850298083968458,0.10235909782586976,0.08613625606296152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445086630015172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109502985280349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17093448568748476,0.0,0.0,0.3170666074504109,0.07837939779793553,0.10846735918620212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939532387285878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0817477919037701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09708943554217274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29664356022689664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09421177183118698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26062926130850983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135381482202481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920901913001482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618131438906877,0.0,0.0,0.098863656257816,0.0949417519725408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07646654870342279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510004385815828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678974151896201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007480599185086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459362792740352,0.07728598253801311,0.1680879292973256,0.1770537505852497,0.0,0.0,0.1277626086420919,0.0,0.0944720875594749,0.0,0.056068924842558425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10458934753279894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07933818725286665,0.056714883345706874,0.0,0.07712997636846225,0.0,0.17291031310815705,0.0,0.0,0.10735395117881744,0.0,0.0,0.1042763139832742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12384171275033758
divorce,superfrogog,2018/01/15,"I wanted to make it easy and offered this. She agreed now time to go to the lawyers. What do you think... 44m Married for 17!years together for 25.  Two kids 10 and 12.  She makes 2x as much as me.  120,000 to 50,000 and has a pension.  This was a 17 year dead bedroom and the regular fights.  3 years marriage therapy, only got worse.  I still love her and she does as well.

What I offered:

Split assets and debt.
Custodial 50/50 custody.
She keeps house
She keeps pension.(I would get half of 17!years$
I won’t collect maintenance 
She won’t collect child support.
I’ll be broke but we can hopefully be friends.  That is what we should have been.

I feel sad/happy/scared.  But no longer mad.",0.5301776830135019,2.9940284925373177,1.1642430703624742,98.08072139303484,96.1641791044776,4.343425728500357,22.79886282871357,6.18269132825596,0.4301788201847905,534,22,113,6,21,162,100,134,0.122,0.742,0.135,0.2105,1,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,2,1,0,0,3,8,2,0,4,0,13,1,0,2,0,20,26,11,1,4,2,0,1,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,7,8,0,2,2,0,1,1,3,3,1,2,3,1,16,5,10,17,1,6,0,1,0,1,18,0,0,1,5,65,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17057455293755644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855668494492906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15059360260393473,0.0,0.10183690713978008,0.0,0.11077671445026063,0.0,0.15589418548022513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935981193678572,0.0,0.22490985792628293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465051595238404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759216183138619,0.0,0.2602193162505224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432875755579702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14824435480707215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556622206912022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211912817870991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229063705453848,0.0,0.0,0.12489594830861425,0.0,0.0,0.11365858485935346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904071187717183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11496802194151395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17525520197369354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986386737889548,0.13846455866487803,0.0,0.0,0.5020846701550428
divorce,KaleAndKittys,2018/01/15,"STBX's girlfriend is pregnant. Will this affect my child support? I just found out that my STBX's girlfriend is 6 months pregnant. He does not know that I know about the pregnancy. 

I retained a lawyer in November. He does not have a lawyer. We are just using mine and discussing things between ourselves. In addition to child support, he will also be paying spousal support and 1/2 the mortgage for our home. Our court date is set for Feb 2. I'm wondering if after the baby is born in April, if it will affect the child support we have agreed to?",3.243142857142857,5.628745361904767,3.451666666666668,89.01750000000001,76.33333333333333,5.723809523809526,27.642857142857146,6.742157984588678,1.3186,433,18,81,4,10,133,65,105,0.0,0.862,0.138,0.9074,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,4,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,3,0,20,21,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,3,5,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,10,4,11,16,0,10,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,3,5,52,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14427483842770858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31575826034569365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978116606418332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809672274302152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19829864676390008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14400256545885098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8189143472801185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985724042880325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15581742396465634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564834138812456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BreakingFree26,2018/01/15,"How to leave? My husband has been getting increasingly angry and controlling. He is emotionally abusive, believes in male privilege in where the woman does all the child care and house work and serves her husband. I live in a large city but my lifestyle resembles more that of a suburban house wife. I was not ""allowed"" to work, because he ""won't watch the kids"". I have no money of my own, maybe a couple of thousands while he has over 120K. All financial decisions are made by him and I have to ask for money. I finally finished my degree and hope to be able to leave him. I know he's going to blow up and go after me with everything he has. He more than once said to me"" I own you bitch, you are mine. I will destroy you"". He threatened to take the children and have me declared as an unfit mother. I'm scared and have no family in this country. His family had unlimited funds to fight me. Has anyone gone through something similar? Any recommendation for lawyers in NYC?  ",3.6106914893617024,5.607119058510637,4.683989361702128,82.40875,73.84042553191489,7.891489361702128,28.239361702127663,8.660442795831766,2.2326851063829802,765,31,146,15,16,250,121,188,0.171,0.7909999999999999,0.038,-0.9794,1,0,1,0,1,0,26.0,0,3,0,3,2,7,3,1,8,0,17,0,0,4,2,20,29,12,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,2,9,0,1,2,0,3,4,4,4,0,1,6,2,24,3,27,20,7,16,0,0,1,0,26,8,1,1,4,100,26,3,0.16084520154287954,0.19057526222631696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938025266613946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246670475599464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036855093641266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09804974194935363,0.0,0.0,0.18121746214313034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399240274370955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18040157047543215,0.0,0.17797215618256856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14075671978685958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18092920256347708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445572957882734,0.0,0.30326108231655063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17619805623888535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403497916527976,0.0,0.1828240694318852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597555776628661,0.0,0.3711875341806857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08839631630254641,0.0,0.0,0.3406236884404273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202925978306025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15219561877414545,0.0,0.0,0.1615906240143071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17129489022366826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15300061984781282,0.0,0.16103410641670074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12382649433327135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093557412792985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341944447606421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,4_sweatervests,2018/01/15,"Car insurance questions Background: STBX and I have been separated for a year. Things are amicable and we plan to find a collaborative attorney and file in the not too distant future. We've been trying to work out as many of the details between us as we can before involving a lawyer because $$$.

Question 1: Per our agreement, he took me off his company health insurance when he renewed for 2018 and I took his car off my policy effective today. I tried to remove HIM and got a message that he had to initiate the request. When he called they told him they won't take him off the policy unless we submit a copy of our divorce papers. Is this something I should be concerned about or follow up on? If he is in an accident could this affect my rates, even if he has his own policy? What about if he gets a ticket or other violation? 

Issue 2: We have a teen driver with their own car, on my policy, who just got switched from Permitted to Licensed. Obviously, teen drivers make for higher rates. What's the best way to calculate how much STBX should kick in toward having Teen Driver on my policy? (STBX agrees this is a thing he should do.) (Teen Driver does not contribute at this time and this point is not up for discussion, thanks.)",4.423324035332403,5.957705142259414,5.584986052998606,78.67018944676894,70.79916317991632,8.993119479311948,27.503719200371922,9.444778638647367,2.481195072059508,975,34,182,22,18,324,144,239,0.027000000000000003,0.917,0.056,0.7882,0,0,1,0,1,0,30.0,7,0,3,4,8,4,1,0,14,0,20,1,0,5,1,35,30,17,0,7,10,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,12,12,0,0,4,1,0,7,4,1,0,0,8,0,25,3,34,16,4,29,0,0,0,0,34,15,0,7,6,129,37,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360614990461976,0.0,0.14462359738027833,0.0,0.17836272610954745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354834929815618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13569937615775146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873330128551213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11225709778845362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553405279655701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08879718065068266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2718653686423901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18065972659051868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17739427377253364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344974176296778,0.1723129490256071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494029020692132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16066730870578794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807886038402091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13084365220138178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277889056390541,0.0,0.0,0.156476501426043,0.0,0.0,0.22582798666841444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910514935812048,0.0,0.16110238034560287,0.16240423812256732,0.3776640334123593,0.2307836152459936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2044411732297408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490648208933564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373303727425175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094487853418916
divorce,puppiesandprotein,2018/01/15,"Health Affect of Divorce on Men found this and thought it had some good points. I've seen the health affects divorce has on fathers and sons, in my family, and think its something everyone should look out for 
http://www.talkingaboutmenshealth.com/effects-of-divorce-on-men/",15.887999999999998,16.822967800000008,9.615000000000002,61.75000000000003,46.0,11.0,40.0,10.125756701596842,3.98,232,8,31,3,2,59,35,40,0.0,0.929,0.071,0.4404,0,0,1,0,3,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,2,0,11,8,3,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,1,6,3,1,5,0,0,2,0,5,5,0,1,0,18,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2822746387203016,0.0,0.0,0.27848401194750705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238992059372339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477738947274479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6280089687827042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2480679990791249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27925568349307384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22741921689331576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928527378274015,0.0,0.2345206515950544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,GuitarEC,2018/01/15,"Still not comfortable with dating, but found a great shirt to wear out... [Sorry Ladies](https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZOGLu03lnGFIKpQ12)",14.206666666666665,19.810538,6.4025,58.65916666666669,75.25,9.633333333333333,24.08333333333333,8.841846274778883,3.828608333333333,112,3,11,3,3,27,16,16,0.095,0.615,0.29,0.7003,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,7,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282279906564864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5311451342628902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5392939577684912,0.0,0.0,0.3847363556388506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,phoebe_29,2018/01/15,"Defeated......need advice.... I’m not sure if it’s my religious upbringing (not personally religious anymore) or the stigma society puts on it, but I feel so embarrassed and defeated admitting that I’m getting a divorce.

I feel so humiliated and ashamed.  
I never thought I’d be one to get divorced.

I’m terrified to tell my family that the outcome is real. I’m embarrassed to tell my outer groups of friends.

There are sure reasons why a divorce is pending, and I’m certain of that part.  We privately tried to work on it for two years, but with no positive outcome (you can’t change another person, you can only change yourself).

Sorry for the vague-post.....does anyone have advice on how to deal with the awkward shame that comes with announcing a divorce? ",5.562340425531914,6.996346687943263,6.73027659574468,71.92350000000002,67.93617021276596,10.462695035460994,36.79503546099291,10.577609850970193,4.416704397163121,597,32,101,17,10,201,89,141,0.257,0.6709999999999999,0.07200000000000001,-0.9834,0,0,0,0,4,0,32.0,1,2,0,2,4,10,0,5,7,0,7,0,0,2,4,25,19,10,0,1,6,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,7,8,0,0,5,0,0,2,5,6,0,2,1,2,9,4,15,17,1,8,0,1,0,0,15,4,0,2,2,63,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167310935758617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16993660532736302,0.0,0.0,0.16072239915363382,0.11331783052371575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34288115873556146,0.13960244741299788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16707926589571065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277805109051087,0.0,0.1638872844623879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252090439220719,0.0,0.16934187851907498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499254934356685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098177077552738,0.12325579314982753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17549783636623367,0.0,0.0,0.2830133539665544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521102526329006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16291752038059773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18446254376218305,0.0,0.16662718615753822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18141564027479049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054838752294649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28329944234331633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865947973315908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11002976291252194,0.0,0.1583114613445095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623615049593922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11798339098917905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436290192781268
divorce,Heisenberger_,2018/01/15,"I'm 20 and my parents amicably share joint custody of my sister. Should i keep switching houses with my sister? Hey guys, long story short, I am a ""victim"" of divorce, though since a year after the divorce or so I have not felt victimized. It's probably been ten years now and I started getting stressed out over the summer, talked to my doctor and he said one major stressor in my life could be the fact that I might feel pressured to still switch houses like my younger sister does. He said that ""Your parents are probably always making snooty remarks about each other"" but it's actually quite the contrary at this point. Thing is, they live five blocks away from each other. It'd be too much pressure for me to decide which one to spend more nights with. I just kind of came to the realization that most adults don't live at two homes. I don't know, I guess I'm just asking for some advice. Maybe someone here has been through it? I honestly don't see any problem still switching houses but if my doctor said it could be a major stressor in my life then I want to do some investigating about it. And honestly if It wasn't at least on my mind once in a while I wouldn't even be making a post about it.",4.819628661087865,5.664055928870297,5.096712866108788,85.12699398535565,69.20920502092049,7.481276150627615,27.07139121338912,7.413659706084162,1.3117131799163184,953,29,191,9,16,301,144,239,0.06,0.8640000000000001,0.076,0.5877,2,0,0,0,2,0,22.0,0,1,1,1,13,11,2,3,10,0,22,4,0,2,1,39,40,13,0,8,8,5,2,1,0,3,4,3,1,2,16,10,0,2,4,0,1,1,6,6,0,5,8,6,23,5,29,22,10,26,0,0,1,0,20,12,0,8,13,134,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.10820042219535132,0.0,0.0,0.10834818618691326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225894214552906,0.0,0.0,0.07540048575230006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10365547259322448,0.0,0.10417303845705396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268142943155653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17705328462332204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269755896979904,0.09702962633688514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323352711150928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056062983302728346,0.0,0.10645976475951588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05792890485073831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214404012423402,0.10978613325784647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11121914870921834,0.0,0.0,0.3838131614284466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09855299507866512,0.0,0.1154618288483006,0.0609353610497671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663208050786948,0.05416913407966045,0.0,0.1958136851515527,0.09812307704733196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480231522615863,0.0,0.11139132747192683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11762348009151714,0.11195464302822884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08150770250119121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405100007165012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11808089316792902,0.15026689438229796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462326310108435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10481505347850516,0.0,0.10618997253239852,0.0,0.2390893443930291,0.10609477009152177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11793184378172893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164096107587257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08835499292496449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171899382810107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394612550615496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847964811447533,0.0,0.17709379093570052,0.0,0.127009774010115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08911911515203719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366206819004341,0.0,0.10893655710109093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831118281204624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539840801317898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280291841789633
divorce,BettyDare,2018/01/15,"Irresponsibility and Custody Hi. Court is next month. STBX and I have an 8 month old. Most of our marriage problems have been with my ex's substance abuse problems. He drinks and smokes pot and used to be a heavy cocaine user. He is living with a relative who is also an alcoholic and smokes cigarettes in the house. He says he can't afford a place on his own.

When I pick up my baby after time at dad's she smells like cigarettes. She is rashy because they don't change her that often. My ex is lazy with making sure the baby is fed. The trailer they stay in has holes in parts of the floor. There are unfinished parts from a remodeling job where I think if the baby were in there unsupervised she could get hurt once she starts walking.

I've tried to make my ex get help for his drug and alcohol problems. I called the cops since he took our baby to his pot dealers house (the cops couldn't find anything on him and didn't do anything. I put in a report to cyfd but nothing came of it) 

The thing is he accuses me of being overly paranoid and treats my protests of his new living situation as me punishing him for our break up. I'm not sure how this stuff will hold up in court or mediation. I just want our baby safe. I'd love the help if the baby could spend nights at her dad's worry free. Could I ask the court to have my ex take parenting classes and be in substance abuse treatment in order to spend time with his daughter? Would I need a lawyer for that? 

Let me add a few things. I'm 31 He's 37. We dated for 13 years, married for two. We just have our 8 month old baby. Our state is New Mexico. ",2.417948051948052,4.103464842424245,3.63127705627706,90.01977272727275,76.33333333333333,6.532467532467532,22.391774891774894,7.310402129719878,0.6356320346320352,1258,35,274,15,28,409,178,330,0.102,0.818,0.08,-0.7691,3,0,9,0,2,0,28.0,8,0,2,0,9,13,2,0,20,0,30,6,0,5,2,47,47,17,0,12,7,8,0,1,0,2,3,1,1,0,8,17,4,2,2,1,3,4,5,6,0,1,6,2,40,8,39,31,5,43,0,1,0,1,47,19,0,5,17,166,48,4,0.0,0.239253064866508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580088849070064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074134826157843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617051401382693,0.0,0.09438826490593784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061547078557590486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309613760985337,0.11547659671274856,0.0,0.0,0.10680715159233484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24183603499268946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09890686317130606,0.1170868733327739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922798085507105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549966499539673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353488764168084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329991682957975,0.10808468462701694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10019177910903013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324313654106873,0.0,0.04932620004831725,0.0,0.17830717012717365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09112448678397954,0.0,0.13478929918835608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417669237751333,0.0,0.0,0.07486396612937024,0.0,0.19502446545559216,0.10737698969745084,0.09474843066928083,0.0,0.09687824967404866,0.0,0.21189071181900931,0.10752399604025116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121092317795131,0.21866962981598254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548651009704248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2898284387887024,0.0,0.10149730221693344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029109649419147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351895437616062,0.11348843238481268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146325833681147,0.10761482199422456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11558030301262305,0.0,0.0,0.1903158674041392,0.0,0.07591280847127281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13415277808102052,0.064694034196047,0.0,0.0,0.11774653181536668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217537739895554,0.06854833091677577,0.0,0.09862773628613156,0.0,0.0,0.08720099104360611,0.0,0.0,0.059551532645060135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10253444477006328,0.0,0.07172234980010428,0.0,0.0,0.06501788740988522
divorce,Raiderguy323,2018/01/15,"Mother of my child wants to charge me for babysitting So I love my son. Whenever I work, I try and get him at least two days. And when my work week is over on Thursday night, I go pick him. Up and drop him off on Sunday night

I work at a refinery, and right now it's a 7 day, 12 hour job. Me and his mom never got a child support court order, or anything like that. She is saying that it's my job to get him a baby sitter, even though she has no job in the weekend and I pay for 100% of his stuff. I give her 800 child support.

Is there any way she is in the right? ",0.831666666666667,1.7771608968254,2.7160634920634945,98.03171428571432,78.92063492063492,5.674920634920635,18.949206349206353,5.6839178017228535,-0.5183593650793652,427,8,111,2,10,143,79,126,0.084,0.8590000000000001,0.057,-0.0575,3,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,6,4,0,0,6,0,5,1,0,1,1,10,14,10,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,6,0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,23,4,15,13,1,27,0,0,0,1,19,11,0,1,13,71,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057246508068848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12793822367849436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005300445711385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026861963019206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624528854386787,0.14914059491119455,0.08835694939733554,0.0,0.12434323157327296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310622676386745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4628387288492393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07595458740010473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140317372693289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208410191582405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990773030731218,0.0,0.0,0.2917953522161966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2655403565764412,0.0,0.12363565610455647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17797548196097773,0.0,0.3528500910860607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527480803963624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10555364464826976,0.0,0.15187119641248384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169999080952353,0.12340452207603685,0.12470832534405883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3395511340900761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,KaKemamas,2018/01/15,"How come she gets to have a normal life? I have turned to this sub countless times as I have gone through my divorce. After a long and terrible battle I am officially a divorcee, happened a few months ago and I still am weirded out to say it. My current wtf moment is, when a friend of mine who started thinking about divorce while I was going through mine is now engaged. Yep, she thought about divorce, got one, healed enough, started dating, and got engaged- while I was going through my divorce. I have kids and such and thats one of the reasons it lasted so long, but come on! Why does she get to heal and have everything already? I still have panic attacks if I even see a red head, and holy shit if she talks to my bf its full blown fucking psycho for at least ten min till I get that reigned in. 

I know most of my info of her perfect life is facebook, and everyone knows that is skewed. But tell me some of your, “Ive been divorced for awhile bit I still freak out about this...” I need some self assurance Im not the only one who is slow, and still has hangups. 

Thanks r/divorce You have helped me when it was too embarrassing to ask the people I know! (Because damn, haven’t you complained to them enough already??) ",4.208169934640527,5.213163465020578,4.309808763011379,89.6227668845316,70.72839506172839,6.705301379811182,29.520455095618487,6.522977012572876,1.2897089808763016,954,37,199,6,17,295,143,243,0.138,0.7859999999999999,0.076,-0.958,1,0,0,0,7,0,33.0,0,3,1,1,15,17,5,2,9,1,21,7,2,2,2,34,45,21,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,11,13,0,1,7,0,0,5,2,11,0,4,8,3,33,6,28,37,9,35,0,0,2,1,26,6,3,5,24,141,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057258336489698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632352573588869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11150153428194357,0.13568706795467728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07270600531307078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13021216485762982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054814283214114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437415349812956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2464759937087788,0.0,0.0787768405229899,0.0,0.0,0.11396778483395885,0.1071923628422628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214785865376676,0.11026337560797876,0.18694126634715436,0.0,0.13556800353781545,0.0,0.19078254481177467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1054702416707169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240563199188265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0799442992137358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12883228006768307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19664334392849034,0.0972211296675128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848813533403303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21110074298109047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952003336658334,0.0,0.0,0.08843734010975672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168594699977041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424617174989011,0.0907103596485978,0.0,0.13993787845693498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08268693736331234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226296273572379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948484481328646,0.0,0.0,0.09504290536848872,0.0,0.12442482775852487,0.0,0.12242914367900964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884011920935527,0.0,0.3809973348657924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958648668005869,0.1042474095800558,0.1098079733155428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642352657860937,0.0,0.09468721413045136,0.06954741125326662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973172547894513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10762280186691313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,deserved3456,2018/01/15,"Need assistance, complicated Okay so i want to file for divorce, she did something terrible and is awaiting trial for that. She is pregnant with the third and not sure if its mine. I have evidence through her phone app that she was seeing another guy. Married for 2 years, 3  in september.

Currently have custody of my son and daughter, i dont own a house. This is in NJ. I feel like i have no idea what to do or where to start.  Feel free to ask questions if i am missing something. I dont make alot of money and im living with my parents.",1.2602905198776782,3.5981873761467926,3.000206422018348,89.73101299694191,83.49541284403671,6.2021406727828765,26.5145259938838,7.492282038375204,1.5372195718654438,420,19,87,7,12,139,77,109,0.08900000000000001,0.823,0.08800000000000001,-0.0054,2,0,2,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,3,1,12,0,0,1,1,19,21,8,0,4,4,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,6,0,0,4,0,2,0,4,2,0,1,2,3,14,5,14,19,2,6,0,1,1,0,12,3,0,5,4,61,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21670896490754332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932062781715946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.484425701440128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899466426868465,0.14764335199755813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046333847209312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2384666259538165,0.0,0.2333025288054628,0.22323643796055287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096733462766913,0.0,0.182491249022914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13795220655603735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324138312569005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947987699934685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23151497444966695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16468729449433625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31820558168821256,0.0,0.0,0.14628036846561351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19478173719368408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12189788628101456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330871380416005
divorce,DivBKHelp,2018/01/15,"Going to my STB ex husband’s dad’s funeral. My ex and I finalize our divorce on feb 13. Heh fitting for the day before Valentine’s Day. My ex’s husband is on death bed and even tho we are going through divorce. I know this is going to be hard for him but I also don’t know if he’ll be okay with me going. So I don’t know if it’s my place to even ask or go visit him.

I need suggestions if I’m over stepping my bounds.",0.4662500000000023,1.5780864583333347,3.3483333333333327,92.43000000000002,80.25,6.0500000000000025,23.458333333333336,6.6274283507984215,0.5312958333333335,324,11,79,3,8,116,60,96,0.078,0.895,0.027000000000000003,-0.3291,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,14,19,10,2,4,5,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,4,0,1,3,0,0,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,15,2,10,16,0,15,0,0,0,0,16,5,0,4,3,47,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1784476996895239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20860896074688304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18987860165426276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28781807098357337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947682278679657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2444426920969544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6340876946375165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19989266029855104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679013376711646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545800674693106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23313736369758484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pungoturn,2018/01/15,"Milestone: Just got through the last first. I'm 45 and my husband of 19 years and I split a little under a year ago. We have three sons together. Today was the 3rd son's first birthday since I moved out of the family home. 
That means we have accomplished all the ""first since the split""s!!
All the holidays, all the birthdays, the last day of school, first day of school, etc. 
It feels very good, and everyone is doing well. He and I are able to do birthdays and holidays together with the boys. 
I think I just wanted to let people know that time passes quickly and things get better. 
",2.754770716009652,5.098592699115045,3.140257441673373,90.84534995977477,77.76106194690266,6.586967015285603,22.662107803700728,7.686295010490155,0.9858743362831864,457,14,92,7,11,141,74,113,0.0,0.853,0.147,0.9421,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,6,4,3,0,0,11,0,8,0,0,0,3,20,16,6,0,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,10,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,0,1,5,2,1,8,3,10,13,4,19,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,14,60,12,3,0.15437919062845867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684783778477816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13653584861901566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912361296713474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217360584679306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14751593242036426,0.0,0.0,0.14553496152839387,0.0,0.07805875735741724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5252594427356835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08065675533725357,0.0,0.0,0.12948594062806212,0.1234711415530338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485491551015768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484276580477483,0.2516792901565797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15786318192777174,0.0,0.0,0.1547285058783016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16816419640494254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408064798964994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10702709262888786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31247996565526553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554081235967966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025626744877898,0.09891995179621008,0.0,0.0,0.0900197475400188,0.0,0.14633342163082022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737900016525275,0.09105684645957243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388054325704425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883027448828505
divorce,Sofarbeyondfucked,2018/01/16,"Negative for all STIs! Married less than a year, but in a 7 year-long relationship. Wife spiraling out of control between untreated mental issues and moving in a circle of “friends” who are furthering her issues. Came to an abrupt end after seeing all her texts to several guys. Brutal to see, but enlightening. Tested last week as a precaution and all negative — yay!!  I’ve been living in hotel for three months and hope tomorrow’s court appearance will provide relief. I’ve been sanguine, knowing it wasn’t my failings, and forgiven those things she can’t control. But I have to make it out sane and alive. ",5.316396396396397,7.4914682072072125,5.91009009009009,74.65720720720721,69.63063063063063,9.257657657657658,31.25225225225225,9.725611199111238,3.4055117117117124,485,21,79,12,9,157,81,111,0.129,0.6559999999999999,0.215,0.9105,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,0,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,5,1,7,0,0,3,3,21,14,9,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,8,0,2,2,1,0,3,4,2,0,1,4,2,5,4,17,9,4,17,0,1,2,0,8,6,0,2,8,54,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2180397182560881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.427634695645392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16884917368087274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728687336059218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188762139892522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18934709839684355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3979542403352406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047699632508498,0.1553958651075755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16833733520169286,0.1687091206026187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12725271464343454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19211882303455607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521658744259116,0.20261861217027616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046744617300229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038284898063471,0.0,0.0,0.2153673020935088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665178386240047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291874829663138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455299559567356
divorce,SonoftheSilentAge,2018/01/16,"How do you ask for a divorce? After a lot of lurking, I have one question: how do you guys have the talk where you say you want out? This might be a little jumbled because my head is spinning, so here goes.

I [32M] just left my psychologist's office where we agreed, after a lot of discussion and six-month waiting/observation period, that a divorce would be the best thing I can do. My wife [33F] is profoundly unhappy and has resisted getting the help she needs for years. Since 2016, we've had sex five times, and our relationship has changed into something else - more of a caretaker (me) with a patient (her), but it is killing me inside. She complains of fatigue, constantly thinks she has some serious medical condition (lupus, celiac disease, diabetes, etc., all of which her doctors have ruled out) and trying to keep her moving forward in her personal life has burned me out. To be candid, I think the only thing she needs to do is eat better and exercise a little bit to solve the fatigue issue and her complaints about her body, but that advice has fallen on deaf ears. Moreover, she works, we have no kids, and to outside observers like our mutual friends and neighbors she seems a little standoffish and occasionally hostile but otherwise happy, pretty healthy and productive. She cancels appointments for psychologists herself though and is bent on finding a pill that will cure all her ailments, give her energy, help her lose weight and improve her mood. To be honest, I don't think such a thing exists.

Over the course of the past few months it has become clear that it would be a mistake to bring a child into this marriage, and I want kids. I would also like some financial stability, which I don't think is possible with my wife (she recently revealed $10,000+ of credit card debt she took out in her name last year without my knowledge; this sort of financial catastrophe has happened once before). I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do as I cannot spend the rest of my life in chaos waiting for her to get it together.

So, what did you all do when you had enough and asked to get out? How do you broach the subject with someone who cries when you say you're not paying attention to hour 4 of the true crime marathon that she wants to watch together? I don't want to hurt her, but I also know I have to get out.

ETA: Feel free to ask any questions that may help with your response, whether here on via PM. Thanks for the help in advance guys.",8.319944847872044,7.063046454545457,7.772929497196432,75.96341851273095,62.25581395348838,11.016784630940345,36.63287066825996,9.971965246562196,3.4326375402150937,1955,76,371,33,23,615,251,473,0.119,0.7240000000000001,0.157,0.9611,1,0,1,0,2,0,67.0,4,9,0,5,17,21,2,0,25,0,45,17,4,3,5,78,73,30,1,10,8,2,2,2,2,6,10,4,1,6,23,28,2,2,14,2,5,6,7,9,0,2,4,7,60,12,56,58,14,45,0,4,1,1,68,26,0,10,17,261,83,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436566338608494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808430125501522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05871083055467127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24213500059445703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052629077417552836,0.0953503381904765,0.0734648137194438,0.0,0.09060336408086696,0.07635638260094192,0.0942555718126816,0.09589883650837294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913310912822855,0.0,0.0,0.09329757516875624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483505659328054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08836763618859579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08834236388765432,0.07212190022626068,0.0,0.0,0.08920724016270201,0.09628646142966554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043653622125046365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0789087199930685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667022863664187,0.0,0.18042611174056652,0.08282049767795316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17097065098834233,0.07634584640202023,0.09190532247222023,0.0,0.0,0.08860472329219192,0.0,0.0,0.10230751266884733,0.2314743985339171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08502268551179866,0.0,0.09242351332020322,0.0,0.0,0.09011141690334104,0.0,0.07673860634965944,0.09551699979121127,0.0,0.09489502943345322,0.07037463188716303,0.0,0.0,0.09380334195524237,0.0,0.12196207287487712,0.08435794068202537,0.2595913625676969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658689652356074,0.0,0.14679803429078545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697353329654485,0.0,0.0915879007940364,0.0,0.0,0.13782371096037305,0.09176055125469296,0.0,0.1280327697608245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194406695602814,0.05850290012081692,0.06566173619308809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241662477484718,0.0,0.07538448178530484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09732985647501216,0.0,0.08783383771772353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19343014801416364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524549860685303,0.09269159054510398,0.0,0.07372970618206667,0.0,0.13731427818719327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859623519506014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.071417289312653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315145255137158,0.06646498019317701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693928854259919,0.0,0.07948576329841818,0.0,0.0,0.2294288245314311,0.22128019161602674,0.08482380028932801,0.0,0.05034269281165605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959214760445319,0.058615867709907725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20369072231288016,0.0,0.0,0.10513289656633848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08322395835690216,0.0,0.06285298318497964,0.0,0.0,0.1839899401561263,0.0,0.0,0.11119395136907198
divorce,helpmeoutintx,2018/01/16,(x-post from r/abuse)Any stealth recording app's for android I'm in the process of planning my escape from an abusive SO. Unfortunately I have kids & I can't just up n leave. I live in a one-party consent state & I've been recording the verbal/emotional abuse for sometime now. But my wife has caught onto it. She ensures that my phone & laptop are always away when she goes into her abusive episodes. I plan on buying a new phone in the android eco system & have it on my person all the time. I'm coming from the iOS side so no idea. Does anybody have any recommendations for stealth recording app's in the android space.,2.731373333333334,5.0193375440000025,3.482099999999998,88.65088333333334,77.56,5.126666666666667,27.21666666666667,5.985473137389443,0.9463466666666664,503,21,98,3,12,159,84,125,0.173,0.789,0.038,-0.9568,0,0,0,0,2,0,22.0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,9,0,7,0,0,0,1,6,11,4,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,11,0,17,9,1,20,0,0,0,0,8,12,0,0,4,55,14,1,0.0,0.5288116024417796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379025103818275,0.6447777512676396,0.0,0.20234017088457307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397762242023919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815393501657224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13019141042650853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734851525917396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679455189734951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752810412849225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136843257635955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368495850542962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081178119824236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990200259796827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424824851859671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14713934675237286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08675017002880388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ToesocksandFlipflops,2018/01/16,"Remember every story has two sides I have been struggling wth this lately...

I complain about my STBX just as everyone else does, but then I realize that the vision from his side is different than mine. 

Examples: 

- Cell phone usage became an issue for him, I was talking to students today about cell phone addition and I realized my STBX would say for sure I am addicted to my cell, I am not. (once I get home it goes on a dock and I check it again before bed, admittedly I will check for recipes or occasionally Google an answer to a question the kids ask.)

- My STBX will say I left the marriage, even though he is the one that cheated multiple times (4 I know of for sure). He left the house albeit at my request. 

- He will say that I am being difficult with the kids nights with him because I work a second and third job to make ends meet, because I do not give him the schedule more than a week in advance, even though I don't know my schedule, until 5 days before. 

I understand, I realize this, and I am sure that what I see from him he has a different perspective on.  I don't want to be married to this man any longer but I don't hate him, it's a feeling of nothing.
",4.086483050847459,4.8406709110169555,5.262500000000003,83.60442796610172,70.82203389830508,8.611864406779661,28.733050847457623,8.841846274778883,2.0978949152542365,909,33,189,16,16,302,133,236,0.067,0.8690000000000001,0.064,0.068,4,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,0,0,0,2,8,8,2,1,15,0,21,1,0,1,3,30,33,12,0,2,6,0,1,0,0,4,1,3,2,3,11,7,0,0,11,0,2,1,5,5,0,4,2,5,35,3,26,25,1,21,0,0,1,0,30,8,0,2,12,129,46,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740466250221778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571305558346085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11783249398551696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366837755076035,0.0,0.21450535113447744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08128682726923976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633746595289091,0.0,0.0,0.11030042674761116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052921306763297,0.0,0.11163602662018278,0.0,0.0,0.16649944140950584,0.0,0.10619603600822956,0.12043877608924385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373075128172907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06585187604323735,0.12091121610534734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444063221890272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264306586376021,0.0,0.0,0.14543583953050218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155536743000396,0.12507748946363292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853905413328504,0.0,0.14218115367139636,0.0,0.2738905577374553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413418395682823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11828211799529395,0.0,0.12094094306554648,0.0,0.0,0.13423088801703992,0.08540949399753071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411961717422505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14278130446309611,0.0,0.0,0.30070158046142464,0.0,0.0,0.10043935850138412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317667316494971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3563800011091621,0.0,0.0,0.1013079901854929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24767175120199636,0.0,0.07349625250435585,0.0,0.11947332002040942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312496849393458,0.1312144325897398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07434298765021508,0.0,0.10110349422161018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176026280711257,0.0,0.0,0.08953680163386786,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,remoteportal,2018/01/16,"Is 44% of net income fair (or too high) for paying alimony for the next 11 years? North Carolina

My STBX and I have tentatively agreed to alimony terms of 11 years @ $2,200/month (44% of my after-tax net income).  I barely gross about six figures a year but am in a lot of debt.

My STBX has never worked, hasn't worked the last 15 months of our separation, and appears to have no desire to find employment.

To boot, I have possession of my 17 year old and will probably pay 100% of her expenses going forward: junior and senior year high school, help financially with college and car.
______
53 year-old white male, married 22 years, 17 and 21 year old daughters.
No marital infidelity, just irreconcilable differences.
Trying to skip legal process to write up alimony terms.",5.5481118881118885,6.883094615384621,6.242944055944061,75.77364685314689,67.88111888111888,9.915804195804196,29.68461538461539,10.125756701596842,3.02568027972028,602,22,110,15,10,197,96,143,0.083,0.836,0.081,-0.0781,4,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,1,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,4,0,8,0,0,0,1,17,10,8,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,0,4,4,4,1,0,1,0,1,9,0,19,9,3,25,0,0,1,0,6,6,0,3,17,55,9,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421197274513461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12432661985332925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730753141656957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09117632865807572,0.2874409269056101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.110880522542019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156456688569379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21715161671423147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491275096129137,0.0,0.1446667303365036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4282137619135288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14666059199983458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766703590991586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0923537056840218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980591992310376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7007777149631396
divorce,cleonm,2018/01/16,"Just found a great book that is helping me deal with my divorce. http://www.attachedthebook.com/about-the-book/

It has really helped put my failed 10 year marriage into perspective. I have the anxious attachment style and my STBXW is avoidant. I didn't have this information before and was unaware we aren't very well suited for each other even though our types gravitate to each other. 

If you are struggling with wrapping your head around your divorce please give this book a shot.",8.52111111111111,10.971256111111114,5.554012345679013,79.28805555555559,61.96296296296296,8.362962962962964,30.78395061728395,8.841846274778883,2.5542987654320983,399,14,62,6,6,109,65,81,0.134,0.7440000000000001,0.122,-0.0338,0,1,0,0,2,0,14.0,2,3,0,1,5,5,0,2,3,0,9,1,1,0,0,14,11,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,3,1,0,3,0,11,2,6,8,2,4,0,1,0,0,13,2,0,1,1,44,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27344768925615337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21547588538675488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059667869894576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24954300014722666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598717924810939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653954150338242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321964889033818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668610634883345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24841320959822466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32448212771912177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26569829736005274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24332718122964306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550634768403911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530432943179555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23781297088083844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19971666237423152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217632087521616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558723131294638
divorce,rannathesleeper,2018/01/16,"Guiltily happy my ex is in jail. It feels like a long time coming of karma finally rearing it’s head on my abusive ex.  The same person who was laughing and joking around on the front porch with the very cops I called through 911 after he hit me, saying I was the crazy one.  That I was the unstable and irrational one.

Guess whose life spiraled out of control in a drug induced downfall that I could already see coming.  Not mine, I’m too busy taking care of my amazing young daughter as a single parent. 

My daughter has not heard from him for an entire year now.  Of course he’s never paid a cent of child support, he didn’t even show up to court for the divorce.

On one hand I’m happy I do not have to deal with a very toxic person who is my ex. On the other hand I mourn for my sweet daughter, who never asked for a dad that would just vanish one day without explanation.  She never deserved any of this.",4.411123188405798,4.958146271739132,5.1400000000000015,85.52166666666669,69.97826086956522,7.0028985507246375,27.28985507246377,6.42735559955562,1.1187876811594206,710,22,143,4,12,230,118,184,0.08199999999999999,0.748,0.17,0.9565,1,0,1,0,3,0,15.0,0,0,0,1,5,10,0,0,14,0,11,5,3,2,3,23,25,3,1,2,5,8,3,1,0,1,2,2,1,3,11,8,0,1,2,2,2,3,8,1,0,4,6,7,16,9,28,16,2,23,1,1,1,0,26,9,0,1,12,98,27,0,0.0,0.1671308905521236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566122161051452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09592440709958916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12557169623086806,0.13187036730502047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403618445458924,0.0,0.14381822695219587,0.0,0.0,0.2430182831259282,0.0,0.0,0.1582087558392303,0.11262348765444714,0.0,0.0,0.09097086386351066,0.14542480127083945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358271876674754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09316760492844604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132325978926912,0.1007719999697447,0.0,0.15452235357696656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539150063510251,0.0,0.0,0.3003181349728952,0.0,0.0,0.14476639944843064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963357202267208,0.06891390709019499,0.0,0.0,0.12483206035931275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263783190184064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38233872385573625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1566284282032398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463331433552612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11217513529423713,0.0,0.0,0.11240511551156783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007116374539151,0.0,0.0,0.10605820486517556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225216564187462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327755610785521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597506263231632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020369186301163,0.0,0.0,0.09083685035086027
divorce,justjesty,2018/01/16,"Dating rejection So I’m at a point where I just started opening myself up to the idea of dating. 
I recently moved to a different town and state from my STBX. Started using Tinder, matched with someone and we really seemed to click. 
I felt such joy feeling wanted after all this time. My self esteem began to soar. 
She wanted to become Facebook friends. 
I obliged and was immediately blocked and then unmatched. 
I can only assume it’s because a lot of my photos still feature my wife. My status was separated (I have since removed it entirely). 
I just feel so low, I didn’t even have the chance to explain my situation, I’m at a point where there is no going back when it comes to my wife. We literally live in different states now and this person didn’t even give me a chance. 
Is there hope for divorced males? I’m only 26, I married my high school sweetheart, I was young and stupid. I’ve just now started to get over the pain of my marriage ending, is this another hurdle to deal with too? The stigma of being in the middle of a divorce?",2.8707739938080468,5.078213156862745,4.272858617131064,83.55181114551084,76.74509803921569,6.451599587203303,25.932920536635702,7.475848149327749,1.4820137254901955,820,31,153,11,19,271,124,204,0.09,0.813,0.097,0.3816,2,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,2,0,0,0,18,8,1,0,11,0,12,1,0,1,1,29,32,10,0,3,3,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,6,12,0,1,7,0,0,4,3,4,0,0,7,4,24,4,25,24,2,38,0,2,1,0,16,15,0,4,17,106,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727968871575462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153345885728046,0.0,0.0914337302527694,0.16565437832871188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12920482571001654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546351645680596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31341942901462105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284839089433428,0.0,0.0,0.19813660111098394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15168092263029484,0.0,0.1440158406709483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588344615054988,0.0,0.07836462864700011,0.14388599260454596,0.08524390944742702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15847478179451088,0.0,0.14897589839600944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16932270948170774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244568286281402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275178335589051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941775731126126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22815134787086236,0.15960206187505502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13096722783332554,0.0,0.0,0.2835818410039847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960887151535509,0.0,0.1480990035801439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517999104093148,0.0,0.1365470823418151,0.15647436671885226,0.0,0.0,0.12407493132720655,0.16859729099526669,0.0,0.0,0.12708773378477686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184953261252471,0.0,0.119783803941434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746154066542297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954492852808094,0.0,0.0,0.1769383340238461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,weirdfishes1098,2018/01/16,"Homework So I was served on Tuesday of last week. Today my attorney sent me a lengthy lists of to dos. I'm so stressed. I have less than 20 days to get this done. Any advice on how to tackle this without feeling like it can't be done. Not making much sense, but list is daunting. Not to mention our finances and records are a hot mess.",0.6985869565217371,3.0099622463768165,1.7969384057971034,97.5414945652174,85.95652173913044,4.029710144927536,24.56702898550725,5.148860815047168,0.2139115942028993,261,11,57,1,8,82,57,69,0.12,0.88,0.0,-0.7226,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,0,8,0,0,2,0,8,13,5,0,0,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,4,2,5,1,10,8,2,8,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,6,37,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27384371063018503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057032266426802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18072925758631744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5735581488672467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14169591496559425,0.2002008991290404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641192266664044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22843002184455866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13690932169744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1870599347392936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2060059561990468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32100978359923943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656312855850876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22478869041760102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27013783398454344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cant-wait2018,2018/01/16,"Did you ever question or feel bad for the other half before things were final? After 21 years, boxes are packed and somehow it has gone stagnant. Not sure if it’s me that has second thoughts or him not believing me. I feel bad for him being alone and having to deal with life. I admit that I am an enabler, not that he is lazy and isn’t smart it’s that he relies on me too much. I’m not in a situation where I can just leave, no kids but we own a business and house together which makes us have to stay under the same roof for a couple of months. For the last 6 months I was ready and pumped to get moving on and now that a couple of months have gone by my enthusiasm is fizzing away. 
Curious is it’s viewed as second thoughts or normal due to having to stay under the same roof
",4.28890243902439,4.265271060975612,5.1962439024390275,87.01826829268295,70.09756097560975,7.77951219512195,24.32682926829268,7.1686216300943375,0.7933604878048781,610,13,135,5,10,200,103,164,0.07400000000000001,0.8440000000000001,0.08199999999999999,0.6563,0,1,0,0,0,0,10.0,2,1,0,1,6,4,0,0,9,0,17,1,0,1,2,31,27,12,0,2,10,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,12,8,0,0,6,0,0,3,6,2,0,3,7,4,14,2,21,19,4,22,0,0,1,0,11,7,0,6,10,102,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133273277321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463528483580401,0.0,0.2601260964399528,0.0,0.0,0.1325504324243246,0.1755016133265178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447173375882511,0.0,0.0,0.16059401159504053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090462150296773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575259283079488,0.0,0.0,0.17064052641073332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138439996316875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17973988357686482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697490698022754,0.0,0.16493997364147042,0.0,0.0,0.11002631518722067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397896748183068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3730069858181807,0.1655609009607387,0.11451028597084505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526234099877516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17450020264866334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509416684501564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320642853425297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14681319294077072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348794328391824,0.0,0.0,0.24733101225110515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18737444239949275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031201054443643
divorce,palmtrees007,2018/01/16,"Save the marriage babies Do those work and why is there a notion this will save the marriage?

I came on here as I took a backseat to my exes divorce that he hid from me he had not filed . I wondered why his kids had a weird 7 year age gap. I guess the younger one was a “save the marriage” baby as he called it ... I’m curious why people think that works ? ",1.8388000000000029,3.078075213333335,3.1303333333333363,94.8835,76.86666666666667,5.533333333333334,23.166666666666664,5.46131890053228,0.10966666666666658,271,8,63,1,6,88,54,75,0.041,0.7959999999999999,0.163,0.8796,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,12,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,5,0,7,3,5,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,10,1,0,2,2,36,12,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2462985366153065,0.2758756772372778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657158640643427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16344758876669754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16722203414975326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15455521729171048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2679890046141931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6529533354224649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26157787503177404,0.3512020268110859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15532890847448186
divorce,ShootyShoot,2018/01/17,"Divorce decree signed today - venting So today it's legally over.  I thought there might be a more profound sensation, but it's just another day with the same worries that I've had since we agreed to divorce about six months ago.

* How is my son going to take it?  How do we tell him?  What do we tell him?  
* How do I get my life back on track?  
* What do I do with myself when my son goes to visit his mom?  He's been about the only thing keeping me in the present.

I thought we were going to be one of those happily married old couples.  I was happy with the family life, but she wanted something new and different.  I hate that she cheated on me and wish that I wouldn't have tried to save us.  Marriage counseling was expensive and the money was mostly wasted.  I should have known that if you can lie about seeing another man, you can lie about wanting to reconcile.

I know that I'm not faultless in how we ended up divorced.  I let her down and couldn't adapt.

Maybe it's not just another day.",1.7270499999999984,3.907293605000003,3.0599999999999987,90.935,80.45,6.0,23.5,7.1686216300943375,0.8994500000000003,771,27,160,10,20,250,122,200,0.097,0.7959999999999999,0.107,0.2551,1,0,1,0,3,0,23.0,6,2,0,0,14,4,2,0,6,0,23,2,0,4,0,40,37,13,0,7,7,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,13,12,0,1,5,0,2,3,4,2,0,2,8,1,30,2,21,22,3,22,0,0,1,0,26,7,0,3,12,117,43,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12575280357348526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4462665127893761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908372862521493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15696847854884868,0.0,0.1829795267038123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482164212989716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564832458275302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337356126805428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07411745245658903,0.0,0.16124778525126884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15101557758196088,0.0,0.1400601349017995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12609416570222487,0.0,0.0,0.07796407919618455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506431398404301,0.20040376751694594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14252023992598664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504940014993302,0.0,0.1661479847575992,0.11323352530241745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13701196631199966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488611339185151,0.0,0.09612989775032237,0.10789304416216793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304627636741613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735036562380008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10921290631323473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666316282542153,0.0,0.24798866213703594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424733388274953,0.0,0.0,0.2252464176163667,0.0,0.0,0.2689386741428428,0.0,0.0,0.09631552209998663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706434689253628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16734869782685444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631352070327787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406854914163966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,herpaderpadont,2018/01/17,"21 Months After 21 months and nearly $16,000 in spousal support...it finally ended.

My STBX wife drug out our proceedings costing me more and more money in support.  Luckily, she agreed to no alimony in exchange for a little more of my 401k, but I am happy to be done with it.

The letter order to cease withholding was sent to my employer and I can no longer login to the child support site.  Always was humorous to me that I had to login to a child support site to check on my support case of a 41 year old woman.

The divorce should pass through the judge's hands shortly and this whole horrible ordeal will come to an end.

I mourn for the loss of the marriage, but I am excited for a new beginning.",4.9289128697042335,5.549070316546763,5.88369304556355,80.38766586730617,68.85611510791368,9.055475619504397,31.27178257394085,9.150863307647796,2.658534132693845,550,22,106,10,9,182,89,139,0.1,0.716,0.184,0.9227,2,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,11,0,10,2,1,0,0,11,17,6,1,1,2,1,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,3,7,0,1,0,0,4,3,2,2,0,0,5,1,13,7,25,9,4,25,0,2,0,0,10,10,0,0,11,74,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918617310714638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233875604512337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14658304461680755,0.0,0.0,0.16611155622517634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537341584920852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569111261737052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524803877178586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435629281227394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286637195610078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13834094521739876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15030504653532265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8127285790632994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599210275049242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224110400005224
divorce,rainbowsbutterflyy,2018/01/17,"I went through some pictures from before I met my STBX husband and wow, I'm starting to see how much I miss that girl I had friends. I worked a job and loved my coworkers. I worked out every day. I looked better and was healthier overall. I was happy and took pictures all the time. I was confident and I trusted people. I didn't have the debt that I do now. 

I have a training session tonight at the gym and it will be the first time I've really gone since meeting my husband almost 3 years ago and I'm so excited. Looking at these pictures has really made me feel a lot better. I've spent the last 6 months feeling like I'm the problem and all around just unlovable and like I don't have anything to offer anyone. I've let the things my ex says define me and I've pushed myself deeper into isolation, debt, and unhealthiness. I looked so beautiful in these pictures and most days lately I rush out the door and don't even want to look in the mirror. I see the girl in the pictures and it just feels like I'll never be that happy or be able to see myself in that positive light again. I envy that girl. ",2.0263037549821696,3.997158511013218,3.440692259282568,89.64747430249632,78.42731277533039,6.085924061254459,23.584854205999584,7.07126945348624,0.8487840990140545,870,29,180,10,21,285,122,227,0.059,0.7090000000000001,0.232,0.9913,3,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,0,5,10,15,0,0,14,0,17,1,0,2,3,35,40,18,0,2,3,3,3,3,1,1,0,1,1,3,10,18,0,0,3,1,3,5,4,3,0,1,11,12,26,12,16,24,6,30,0,1,7,1,12,10,0,5,18,114,36,4,0.1285043565751278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391135859465125,0.0,0.12867855069414186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985323399244266,0.0,0.10574813618054683,0.1143961218575678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10934774265234797,0.0,0.0,0.2273033211898609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657493581815645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487591556442076,0.0,0.10827046276199792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19492699142483652,0.18360707602731166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10930574005632272,0.0,0.0,0.09928214712110467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273590554206049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1275207453533107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10474820185672803,0.1449585114725363,0.0,0.0,0.13140441103459868,0.0,0.18834221285050545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4316451794955549,0.0,0.0,0.10924980860089553,0.11598019895410425,0.12159392929674127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025709514151924,0.0,0.09446548798349223,0.0,0.09911048183303303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0890887406417487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296131434996033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16464636272827127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10219182213574532,0.0,0.0,0.30720400402573456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630013168632567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09095604499216893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853725844786759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14986384744723613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14277306844344154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07579519894108402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912482597520067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871054041323864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275259245355526
divorce,citycinderella,2018/01/17,"This Friday is the day.. My Mediator should have the parenting/custody plan and the marital separation agreement drawn up this Friday.  

I will sign (then we'll be legally separated) and then take it to a lawyer to file for Divorce.  I hope i'm divorced by my bday (few months from now).

We're uncontested w/kids.  I am ready to move on with my life.",3.0074019607843177,5.021489250000002,4.621176470588235,82.11696078431375,75.61764705882355,8.062745098039215,27.509803921568626,8.841846274778883,2.1805215686274515,271,11,55,6,6,91,54,68,0.0,0.846,0.154,0.8402,1,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,0,0,6,10,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,9,6,1,8,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,5,35,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3134445130895977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4827303275508295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432922931992769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387938780290827,0.5165653440110092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3654286765155805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kyric_larenz,2018/01/17,"Last night I found out my wife has been cheating. A lot. For some background.

I'm 34 and my wife is 36. We've been together for 7 years, married for 3. We have a 5 year old daughter. I bought the house while we were still dating, and then after closing we found out she was pregnant.

Our sex life has been abysmal for the past 5ish years and I've been suspicious that she's been cheating for quite some time, but I didn't want to accuse her without any proof. A couple of nights ago she did something uncharacteristic and sent me some saucy photos of herself. She used to do that when we were dating and early into our marriage, but not for a long time. I had a feeling that they weren't really intended for me, but that she sent them to me by accident. So last night when she took our daughter to bed, I snooped through her phone and found a treasure trove of WTF. She's sending those same pictures to like 4 other people, getting all these weiner pics, talking about cheating on me with someone in an open relationship, etc.

I'm super floored. I expected that she was cheating on me, but it's much more elaborate than I guessed.

This is definitely not a mendable situation, I'm going to pursue divorce. I'm guessing (and hoping) that she wants to do it amicably but I also want to be prepared for the situation where that doesn't happen. I reached out to a referred lawyer today and am waiting to hear back. My head is still spinning from all of this and I really don't know where to start. Besides an STD test.",3.5657999999999994,5.234020579999998,4.349666666666668,86.14150000000002,73.2,6.866666666666667,28.166666666666664,7.492282038375204,1.5448666666666666,1194,47,239,14,24,383,167,300,0.102,0.828,0.07,-0.868,0,0,1,0,1,0,33.0,7,0,2,2,10,8,4,0,13,0,25,4,1,2,3,52,51,20,0,5,8,4,1,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,14,20,0,1,6,0,1,5,7,4,0,0,20,2,39,4,38,30,10,44,0,0,0,2,34,12,0,7,28,166,53,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10665427484904587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0962179250096394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08182008005573818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09251679202168868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13312911345155373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418590587170906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060836183430725686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3957660477132672,0.0,0.0,0.06286096946376853,0.0,0.06837925325831412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26508675750782584,0.0,0.10639643836616408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12348054838592062,0.0,0.13560665672750655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950250465798035,0.0,0.13883033281636167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0661233952218294,0.19614977204381068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498386474957008,0.0587810919615015,0.0,0.0,0.10647727185342652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10228970365623126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844726499130441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33872969401191155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625306029068528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148567440333239,0.083413060361889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12797255618538936,0.0,0.0,0.15415704491598692,0.0,0.0,0.12917605299131124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270484001364135,0.0,0.0,0.1019446948271888,0.09262635103151527,0.0,0.0,0.08516140217673142,0.0,0.1921715491241536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09670671300700208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14031629657275918,0.0,0.1140469971820835,0.0,0.13367725809499265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391575812950027,0.0,0.0,0.21289927746889506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11598185327963093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324417296633047
divorce,JaimeEtc,2018/01/17,"Competing with the ""party parent"" 32/f, 5+ years married, 1 year divorced, primary custody of our 9 year old.

When I have my son I'm either at work, or making him eat vegetables, do homework, etc. This weekend with Dad they went to the trampoline park. Twice. How do I compete with this? Our son is increasingly frustrated and combative with me because it's all fun all the time with Dad. We take breaks for fun, but ultimately I have to make him have real life too.

(Background: marriage ended due to infidelity  and drug use on his part. I now support the apartment/car/ our old life alone so our son suffers as few changes as possible while he lives in a relative's basement with almost no cost of living expenses. I irregularly receive the court mandated child support)",3.993888594164456,6.323018903448279,5.117241379310347,78.24074270557033,73.75862068965517,8.323607427055705,31.84350132625995,9.057496981413335,3.1060610079575586,611,30,108,14,13,201,108,145,0.08,0.852,0.067,-0.4416,1,1,1,0,1,0,25.0,5,0,1,3,5,6,1,0,6,0,6,5,0,4,2,20,14,10,0,0,3,6,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,1,3,9,2,0,0,1,2,3,1,2,0,1,1,0,16,4,17,13,7,19,0,1,0,0,20,3,0,2,12,66,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16646925599802792,0.17217854803083468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134074087300636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586400730255006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927901497216359,0.17010901665286865,0.0,0.0,0.14724275516048754,0.0,0.18540589757836146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348459716572084,0.0,0.0,0.2935928259657168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193819368241488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34889002407733044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845941817792144,0.18002594770799846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874150231816802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18922195820189872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773032244144808,0.0,0.0,0.12499472651705007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693815733455848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435813566512424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541097645568137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210275420849401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211668710132243
divorce,CHOCOLATE_ASSPUDDING,2018/01/17,"Wife left 2 weeks ago On December 23rd my wife told me she wanted a divorce. We talked and agreed on separating for a while and she said at the moment she wanted a divorce but she was open to seeing what happened with time. 

For the first week she was still here and very cold but seemed to still care somewhat and would hug me and kiss me and tell me she loves me. On the 31st she flew back to live with her mother which was planned from the start. For the first week we didn't talk much but things seemed ok considering the situation. The second week is where it got bad. Anytime I said anything to her she would try and succeed in making me feel like shit. I also found out she had been talking to a guy online and the same day she said she wanted to leave she told him she wanted to bring him into her life.

I found out that's she's basically been talking to him all day every day since she's left. She said her issues were she couldn't get over past problems we've had in our marriage. In the last year though our marriage has been the best it's been since the beginning. This whole thing came as a huge shock and I probably tried to communicate with her too much. She never set any boundaries though or told me that we shouldn't talk at all.

2 days ago we talked on the phone for the first time and I tried my best to understand her side while explaining mine. In the end she said it's over and there will be no seeing how it goes we will just be getting divorced. I feel like this guy played a large role in making her feel ok leaving but she said he had no impact. I feel like if he wasn't there she wouldn't have wanted to leave in the first place. Friends have told me though it's likely not that he's important just that he's something to pass the time.

I guess overall I just don't understand how she can be so okay with all of this. We were married for 7 years and together in some way for 10. She has no desire to talk to me. She seems to have no feelings for me and she's just living her life like everything is ok. I'm a wreck and she's fine and that makes me feel awful.",2.542719843085976,3.9630406109839846,3.131602484472052,94.84895652173914,75.38443935926773,6.275750245178162,20.723700555737167,6.742157984588678,0.05750845374305325,1645,36,380,14,35,513,192,437,0.083,0.7609999999999999,0.156,0.9896,0,0,1,0,3,0,23.0,8,0,0,8,19,23,1,0,23,5,33,6,1,5,4,80,80,31,0,13,11,3,6,5,1,6,2,6,0,2,17,30,0,0,14,1,0,4,12,4,0,5,29,15,68,19,47,41,11,62,0,0,2,3,82,25,1,8,36,252,85,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11322298936689833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107193835263735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043429642493286735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05255454875639405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910739758981593,0.05332368952542259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340424474852903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304328891535611,0.06511350311571533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16474773060816336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0565644602503368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053808090805381986,0.0,0.057396756021797925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1937490426740645,0.1368731503591934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21729040539630776,0.0,0.1400469416265487,0.04934109129457568,0.0,0.06673250450826028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051077795504390996,0.0,0.07035328675079973,0.12647060481206954,0.056474636515311774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06665732001579124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052057602908718734,0.0,0.2028679490099394,0.13877663004607485,0.0,0.0902179235526871,0.15600338006965725,0.0,0.11278598879803013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057639663835806015,0.0,0.1278889489764449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09389463064481456,0.0,0.0492557773393837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096531961239963,0.0,0.0,0.0667241835404755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885608658447416,0.061109128005076375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36449516576946706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10178252081382737,0.174417890034507,0.0,0.0,0.06555537636615287,0.10565775729573186,0.07178570023028369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04916555090163677,0.0,0.0,0.04520319765322783,0.0,0.10200358726314604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3593196900826431,0.05581986416677625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08485667578639193,0.0,0.18823787468261416,0.0,0.11171866231343697,0.0,0.0,0.24409877595796126,0.0,0.13007818940857446,0.0,0.0,0.13296914591460374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052694406483639614,0.18834291658099966,0.05069219179173857,0.20491107586713436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130176447076575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073416548928977,0.0,0.0,0.08225251643949848
divorce,peopes,2018/01/17,"EX wants majority of school but now wants my son to walk to school because I can't take him to school? I need to find out how to deal with this.  My ex has my son during the week and there’s a weather problem in our area.

He just told me he needs me to take my son to school tomorrow on a DELAYED start — which is at 10am.  However, I have a meeting… at 9am.  I can’t get out of it.

He told me HE has a work obligation too… and that my son will have to WALK TO SCHOOL in the cold.ice since “I” can’t come take him — It’s not my MORNING/DAY!

I said well, I think you should tell YOUR client that you are delayed then. he said no.  He has to be there at 7:40….

I said I’m really sorry, but my meeting is big.  I can’t cancel it the night before because of YOUR inability to take our son to school.  

He said I guess I’ll ask around OR i’ll have him walk to school. 

So — what would you do here?  I’m not thrilled.  If he wants majority custody he shouldn’t be doing this IMO!

Am I overreracingt?  My son is 12.",0.2496606334841616,1.6887048597285101,2.3348846153846132,98.00386538461541,81.85067873303167,5.8679638009049775,19.647285067873305,6.742157984588678,-0.14160289592760122,758,19,198,8,20,255,107,221,0.116,0.872,0.013,-0.9669,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,2,5,0,1,9,3,0,0,7,0,23,0,0,1,0,29,46,9,0,10,7,8,0,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,9,7,0,2,2,0,0,4,8,1,1,0,6,4,32,2,26,34,2,23,0,0,0,0,37,11,0,3,8,115,41,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928096151313596,0.093759290839208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12227389590295748,0.0,0.08534093153479337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08639250178982946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467991147051405,0.10339643785209628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166488458194136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05239832400563679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048272026336337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14873019184525074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411705656982347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596570404503768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06424949261970174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381601858249108,0.0,0.0,0.7105045629500195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0829624100172263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122684545835809,0.07098704939004608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3016277964203326,0.0,0.08765945022187294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642629332554587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19166621792894611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1774640992104157,0.0,0.08044802922315526,0.0,0.09017436914189007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301362193922238,0.0,0.0,0.07124441434833867,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheSuppishOne,2018/01/17,"Is the emotional journey more difficult with children? I'm at the point where I don't care if the stbxw is getting plowed by her ex's (now current love interest) entire rugby team.  It wouldn't affect me.  But for some reason, when I hear my daughter talk about him, his family, or anything literally involving him at all, I get enraged inside.  I'm not sure where my head is at all in that aspect.

I even FaceTime'd the guy the other day to apologize.  Basically she began talking to me while she was still dating this dude.  I kept her at a distance (ish) because it didn't feel right, but she kept telling me how abusive he was, how manipulative he was, and that she wanted to move out of state so she could finally be away from him.  Well she moved to my state and we began dating like a week after that.  Now, the tables have reversed.  I apologized sincerely to him for my part in that situation.  I know how much pain I caused the guy.  The fact that he's taken her back so readily is proof of how special she makes men feel when they're currently making her happy.  That being said, I don't hold any personal grudge against the guy.  I just FUCKING HATE that my daughter talks to him/spends ANY time with him or his family.  I haven't seen her now (in person) for 2.5 months.  And yet he gets to spend time with her.

Why can't I let that part go?",3.3595202690741743,4.840499605947958,4.451810939989379,85.96047087980175,73.38661710037175,7.651690564701719,25.077181802088862,8.269060116576782,1.4428490352274743,1050,33,217,17,21,343,158,269,0.09,0.8140000000000001,0.097,-0.163,3,0,0,0,0,0,35.0,1,0,0,1,20,14,3,0,11,0,18,4,1,10,5,40,42,17,0,4,7,3,2,1,0,1,1,2,0,7,12,8,0,3,4,1,1,4,7,5,1,0,11,5,41,9,29,26,7,41,0,0,1,2,46,13,1,4,23,147,53,1,0.0,0.1426667823515518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637665719923952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908760236481627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312965183134295,0.09258826116280952,0.0,0.07340113837913723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12276655509339238,0.1236947776950663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09613800625240276,0.0,0.0,0.07765482725708613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544563371771606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953001608877673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22702465325836385,0.0,0.12176635865869925,0.0,0.0,0.13190384442629005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131759001614444,0.1887285885235094,0.0,0.06843207617179893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35767605174989264,0.0,0.1281792427984451,0.0,0.11888046468727495,0.1235759370018186,0.0,0.13571141275151902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06617447548694916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312791978998885,0.0,0.05882650030375841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867519987809146,0.0,0.16074992076989958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961105322050974,0.2559546642611397,0.0885155904263447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812528808460927,0.0,0.0,0.2607857291295942,0.0,0.0,0.2102756518136205,0.0,0.0,0.11382686616744213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238020739589782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10282993036693527,0.11453798292854266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135346475009603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616000073909634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134854947339652,0.0,0.0,0.2903442565752857,0.10524410608591983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404246907894432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07102124732499886,0.0,0.09658606003728176,0.0,0.10826352262282307,0.0,0.10865177007824957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RoseRedd,2018/01/17,"Verbally Abusive STBX is still Verbally Abusive At least I don't have to listen to his angry voice spewing hateful insults, shaming language, and profanity, but I am still getting it in his texts.


We have to communicate about our child as we have a 50/50 parenting plan, but he only seems to do so if he can rant at me.


He is angry that I asked for 1/2 of the martial assets and for formalized  family support.


He used to control me with his anger. I used to be terrified of it. Now it makes me mad.

My lawyer said she could have his lawyer remind him to be cordial, but don't know if that wouldn't make things worse.

Urgh!",4.033001792114696,5.239209056451613,5.009139784946238,83.68926523297492,71.33870967741936,8.091756272401435,29.10035842293907,8.515128840125781,2.08001541218638,489,19,98,8,9,160,81,124,0.233,0.706,0.061,-0.9779,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,3,0,0,2,5,6,4,1,2,0,15,0,0,5,0,19,27,9,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,1,6,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,3,17,1,17,22,1,6,0,0,0,0,19,3,0,3,3,69,23,2,0.0,0.4792070643370903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18905305709953246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268125096075416,0.16146019062065725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1906397127398714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10565420505521747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996553001014623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11113755987713536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269973487713293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380120921746446,0.0,0.0,0.2245469075855815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923622641850437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18409802593999874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229942590790726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22948250981624446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434929034815107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3493149059436857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20608453027337295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FeelingLoveStuck,2018/01/18,"What to Expect? (Florida) In Florida. Looking for low cost lawyer at the moment, and want to be as prepared as possible regarding how things typically go in this state before our meeting so I can make the most of it. I don't have $$$, and my spouse's family is very wealthy and eager to use their lawyers to go after anyone perceived to be hurting one of their own.

# **Situation**
Married three years. I had to change my career when my spouse and I married. This has not worked out well for me, and my husband has done very well staying at his company. He has grown a healthy 401k, had health insurance throughout, and his income has dramatically improved. He also received a promotion. I tried a new career at a terrible company, and was eventually let go. A few months later I found a job in another area with a company related to the industry my first career was. This also did not work out. While spouse has been growing savings, he has also taken up expensive hobbies. Every time I've tried to do (literally) anything other than sink money into CC debt, I got the ""we don't have the money"" talk. By this I mean... clothes to replace ratty items, getting into an exercise class, trying to go out with my friends to do anything at all. I don't have any friends anymore because I never see them. I only see his/""our"" friends when he decides it's worth his time to pay from his money for us to go out. Of course dropping hundreds to thousands at a time for his hobbies is okay though.

No one cheated. Just too different to continue together. I don't want much here, certainly don't want to screw spouse over. I just want to make sure I have my bases covered and don't get screwed by his very wealthy family (and lawyers) since I have no money and no prospects for work without leaving the state. We have tried marriage counseling. No children.

**Debt**

* Student Loans - I had loans, spouse did not. His family helped me to pay some of this off early in our marriage.

* Credit - I had CC debt. I worked to pay this off when I worked. Spouse took care of mortgage while I put everything into CC debt. Spouse has ~$1,000 CC debt.

* Mortgage - Purchased home together after marriage. I am on deed, spouse is on mortgage. His parents gifted the down payment to him. House is currently worth less than we paid for it.

* Car - Possible car loan (see below).

**Vehicles**

* Spouse has a car his parents bought for him brand new. It is paid off.

* My car was totaled in a collision (not at fault). I put that money to CC debt and have no car. I need a car to get a new job. 

**Current Funds** 

* Never combined accounts. I don't have access to spouse's bank accounts.

* Spouse - Healthy 401k; several thousand savings; may have lied about removing parents from accounts.

* Me - Cleared out all but $2,000 of my 401k to pay for CC debt after losing recent job; no savings; no income.

**Ring**

* His mother gifted her first diamond for the ring that spouse purchased. It is insured and worth ~30k. 

# **Questions**

* **1** - What usually happens to physical property in Florida? Since his car and the home down payment were documented gifts while we were married, I assume at least than much is likely to stay with him. What about the ring?

* **2** - What about a car for me? He won't cosign a loan for me or help me in any way to buy a car, and I have no money or income to purchase one. This is really what's leading me down this path. I realized we are roommates and that I sacked my career for him, but that what he promised would be ""we"" is all about ""him."" I helped him grow his career, and he won't help me be in a position to get a job. He has savings, I have debt and cleared out 401k... and he is fine with this. Should I get a minimum wage job within walking distance and save for a beater? Should I take out a high APR loan in my own name? Just continue to sit at home freaking out alone? What is likely to happen with any of these choices if we divorce?

* **3** - Am I going to get screwed over by his family's lawyers? Is there anything I can do to reduce this risk?

* **4** - If I find a job in my line of work out of state, what impact is that likely to have on filing or the process of divorcing?

* **5** - Debt - I finally paid off my CC debt. All that's left at the moment is student loans, which were mine before the marriage. Do those stay mine since I spent all my money paying off CC debt?

Anything that will help me to make the most of my consultation with a lawyer or even point me in the right direction to find a free/low cost lawyer would be much appreciated. I really need to figure out a vehicle, so especially knowing what's likely to happen in the event of a divorce would be especially helpful. Like I said, I don't want to really take anything with me from this, but I want to have a decent chance at a new start too. 
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divorce,Apoist,2018/01/18,"Need some help for my mother. Hey everyone,

It's been 4 years since my mother and father separated, however they still have no legally divorced. My dad has always paid our bills etc because my mum has been unemployed especially after the separation - due to a marriage marred by mental and physical abuse. She has no income and has no legal advice, and essentially, doesn't know her rights. My dad on the other hand, has a lawyer and does know his rights. 

She scared because he could legally stop paying any bills of ours, especially when my brother and I turn 18. He has no legal responsibility towards her or us once we turn 18, and now that they have been separated (not legally). 

No money for a lawyer, so there's a fear that we're going to get shafted. Meanwhile my father has gone on to have another child, with a woman he technically had an affair with whilst still married to my mum. 

Other thing is, we live in a rented house whilst he owns his house. We're Italians living in the UK. Nothing legal has been done since we stopped living together, so it's quite messy. 

Does anyone have any advice as to which direction we should go? 

If my father decides to get a clean divorce then it'll be fine, but if he decides (as he seems to be doing) to stop any kind of financial help immediately to my mother who has no chance of legal representation, then we are sort of screwed. I guess we'll have to see what comes of this, but do you have any ideas? 

If you need more info I'm happy to answer...",5.7199312714776624,6.1713383986254335,6.488883161512033,77.33511168384881,67.07560137457045,8.940893470790376,28.881443298969074,8.841846274778883,2.1457298969072167,1178,37,225,18,18,389,159,291,0.101,0.8109999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.6087,5,0,0,0,3,0,37.0,9,2,2,1,7,6,1,2,11,0,32,2,1,0,0,40,49,20,0,7,7,11,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,12,15,0,3,8,0,6,4,8,3,0,0,8,2,31,3,29,35,4,25,0,0,1,1,46,7,1,8,14,146,43,11,0.0,0.1340367573728582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210923960670011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09413055859732322,0.0,0.0,0.30772040855087845,0.1186233117410054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791008877112406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379220924962424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744871981747696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032254324353216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19799604710779045,0.11576799146216675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616628384035716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809750373285387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729909922694865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182081659668246,0.0,0.1285851329815261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462192237248824,0.0,0.0,0.12042558039106843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15165301660056854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26106627312270125,0.0,0.12770638545693114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11780415202479926,0.12434305966561778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996791064747093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11400520499505047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776417505290592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854821403030132,0.0,0.0,0.12047634814666745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032427506133468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19321933529414725,0.0,0.0,0.1132596602432994,0.0,0.09014741168146476,0.1029863884409847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18715931317324316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806864145331294,0.28373720662329177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515641806542131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460989427786303,0.0,0.0,0.13607760943819866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07284994910737752
divorce,Sudden323,2018/01/18,"Breathalyzer for alcoholic STBX I was curious if anyone had experience with having there ex alcoholic partner using a breathalyzer while they have custody of child. 

My STBXW has a alcohol and drug problem which she is getting help for. It has been three months since the separation and I have had sole custody. The ex has limited supervised visits. I would like to give her more time with the kid since she has been a lot better and part of that would be unsupervised. 
My question is what devices or methods have you used or recommend? Ideally I would like this to be able to report to the internet etc. so it can be checked and verified. Maybe a breathalyzer with a camera so I could see if the ex has been drinking with the kid or drinking and driving with the kid.  It should be able to prevent someone else blowing in the unit for her She has promised she is not and will not drink anymore but the trust is shattered and she lies a lot. The ex has agreed to do this to alleviate my fears about her being alone with our child and to build trust. Ex would be required to test every two hours with the child. 
I have really only seen the Soberlink brand. Kinda expensive. Any alternatives or ideas would be greatly appreciated. ",4.072207792207795,6.4797195974026,4.688744588744591,81.03883116883121,73.80519480519482,8.036363636363637,28.74891774891775,8.841846274778883,2.477273593073593,981,41,180,21,21,313,127,231,0.07,0.8029999999999999,0.128,0.8883,0,1,8,0,0,0,15.0,1,1,1,4,4,10,0,1,18,0,39,7,0,2,0,43,45,18,0,11,9,5,0,2,1,7,4,0,0,7,8,15,6,3,2,3,2,2,2,2,0,2,7,2,20,8,23,23,5,7,0,0,2,0,27,1,0,10,6,136,28,4,0.2399510283814089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846520133583349,0.0,0.12425844997964187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158746378536398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11898347169482135,0.08388966909179105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061085925949328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579068558483644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35259098625481017,0.13913350675639008,0.0,0.10022414718460326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13380441241754235,0.0,0.0,0.1010845452071655,0.0,0.0,0.1173590743747302,0.0,0.1350058086429572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626822543579069,0.11509144549903155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227342794602412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041705818672952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11815171425089548,0.0,0.0,0.13543775205152686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722795207255035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20399778359989745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053152980970312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09576331079384838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09124678484575548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992179034002455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11480036403339088,0.0,0.0,0.1344000335798991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685938653918334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560495152780543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984899702626107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165486383852462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06995868714212722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11719864424027528,0.0,0.0,0.2072406467298404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42613581507704973,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwawayokayyy78,2018/01/18,"Is Paying Large Fee Worth It? Michigan divorce was finalized last year and I’ve yet to retrieve what i was awarded. I was told by my lawyer that my money could be retrieved if i paid a fee that would be added to what my ex already owes me. She said the fee would cover the retrieval via garnishment, seizing of property (he only owns a vehicle as far as i know). Before i dish out the fee (over $500, under $1000) does this actually work? Don’t want to waste money.",3.3528721804511257,4.486300768421053,4.7323308270676705,85.3063157894737,72.89473684210526,7.533834586466164,27.25563909774436,7.957251820313856,1.6058270676691735,363,13,75,5,7,121,71,95,0.031,0.898,0.07,0.3527,1,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,0,0,8,16,4,0,5,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,2,1,0,1,0,10,0,1,0,0,0,6,1,10,1,10,5,1,8,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,4,45,16,4,0.0,0.0,0.27971548597569873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163100641554014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439062094672208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22885560216480366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508371828333618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139958370342919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752770445171665,0.23364667841941264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799967046883006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726565702333618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27389307719771144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906539834397535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20867449471661734,0.0,0.0,0.4072361230866293,0.0,0.0,0.18458425075223997
divorce,apparentlyimsingle,2018/01/18,"Today is the day We're in front of the judge this afternoon with our joint petition for dissolution. It'll be good to have things be final. It's been an emotionally taxing journey, but I'm ready to rise from the ashes...
EDIT: it is finished ",2.1118750000000013,4.514094770833335,4.133166666666663,82.52850000000002,80.45833333333334,7.173333333333334,22.1,8.238735603445708,1.4432450000000001,191,6,37,4,5,65,41,48,0.0,0.89,0.11,0.6369,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,2,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,7,4,0,9,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,24,6,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29061503727279386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5068910624319153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4936362878957163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3779618188038598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.299374393874482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4271386215608221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chconnol,2018/01/18,"What's the best way to leave? Face to Face? Very Nervous Planning on leaving my wife of 25 years. It's a loveless marriage. No affection. No real communication. I think I owe it to her to tell her directly. She's tough and she's likely going to lash out. I was thinking I would say what I had to say and then leave and try not to react to whatever hurtful things she will say. 

There is a lot more to the story but I am looking for advice. Kind of like ""what to expect when you say you're leaving"".

Thanks",0.19246153846153646,2.4874526857142882,2.2819047619047663,93.08835164835169,88.80952380952381,4.754578754578755,20.457875457875463,6.297961479604792,0.17127106227106206,392,13,85,4,13,131,69,105,0.102,0.78,0.118,0.7726,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,2,8,0,1,4,0,6,2,2,2,0,14,12,6,0,2,2,1,0,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,5,13,5,15,8,3,7,0,1,1,0,13,2,0,1,5,57,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494872591066111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053982175550707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08694029931921468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637649385866068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930190373647288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6479218085506832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947357527107402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846207028798834,0.0,0.0,0.13005549241012246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412120650060192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4866134931807309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337085559368689,0.14084057917142154,0.0,0.0,0.1016310568859702,0.19604284498947847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10386127545765322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622196599810792,0.0,0.121425945098992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867040275718456,0.0,0.0,0.09851210997611844
divorce,notmichaelthrowaway,2018/01/18,"Today, I’m feeling alright. And alright is fine for now. Everyday I grow stronger, more confident and more pleasant. I’m working hard to become a better, happier person. And I have r/Divorce to thank. All of you; your stories, your comments, the fellowship has carried me through a very dark and difficult time when I didn’t have the emotional capacity to put my feelings and thoughts into writing a post. This is my first post.

I (28F) met him (32M) when I was still at school. We were together for 12 years, married for 3 of those. No children. Divorce end of November. The trauma is immense, someone wrote the hardest thing to do is to mourn the loss of someone who hasn’t died. Well, for me divorce was more than that, the loss is far greater than a person. The loss is life as you know it. I’ve also lost a family-in-law I actually liked, I’ve lost a future we were going to live, the house we were going to buy, children we were going to have. 

We had a strong, stable relationship. Our connection broke down little by little as we didn't work on our marriage, we took it for granted. We became disconnected after while. In this time of disconnection, we created a false sense of love and intimacy through comfort zones. We’ve learned to live in the same space, but evaded real sharing. 

Long story short, it became messy (always). We’ve reached a point where the way we treated each other destroyed the core of our relationship. The fighting destroyed our love and respect for each other. After months of going nowhere and constantly bringing each other down, I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve became destructive to force an end. I wish we could’ve parted more amicable, but nevertheless we are done. It is over. Divorced. 

After working through many emotions, understanding my right to be angry, giving me time to hurt and accepting my failure to learn and to grow, I can honestly say it does get better. Today, I’m feeling alright. ",4.1996765331442765,6.345698189560442,5.0360581354129765,79.87023218716769,72.5989010989011,7.444026940801137,30.972704714640198,8.259297600419973,2.5038834810350936,1527,70,268,25,31,495,197,364,0.136,0.684,0.18,0.8708,0,0,0,0,6,1,63.0,16,4,0,12,7,33,4,0,22,3,27,3,0,0,1,44,53,18,2,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,4,15,26,0,0,9,0,1,9,5,14,1,1,16,5,37,19,47,35,11,50,0,8,0,2,42,16,0,0,23,181,52,6,0.0,0.0,0.10091731450589177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082700276237918,0.08604887570282735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025590707195898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421282848320755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829228630983626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11175398171490293,0.0,0.08256780170586349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073275838709423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049843908880137,0.10582860291213914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326540493749816,0.1831885234373533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1568679383122519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08796404214211634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402963677211051,0.09920429728618127,0.2350906292289549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263878578084557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193260701991336,0.11070701032615883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05683372459015797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304448822660851,0.050522940941572204,0.20729633707530848,0.18263321757949585,0.0915182882446912,0.0,0.0,0.22577757048580666,0.0,0.18667065614656586,0.0,0.0,0.1048457392313972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825442057132026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11198747097978852,0.0,0.0,0.18059453279003584,0.0,0.0,0.09775981925231918,0.0,0.1980843815207309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395980636278453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770796833823535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22205623878575906,0.0,0.08831513811170455,0.0,0.08223910056595772,0.0,0.10466066340209942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752449852219144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825866915964149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775458752845567,0.0,0.0,0.09520987573556187,0.0,0.0,0.06870378092672948,0.0,0.0,0.08209930134309072,0.1809049065351326,0.0,0.19604908690596806,0.0,0.11489695054300755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765780047674547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532752256827343,0.0,0.08208535645026699,0.0,0.0,0.09298176045413996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892119451739877,0.0,0.0,0.22586024730684184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06659533640413652
divorce,DysfunctionalBee32,2018/01/18,"He Sent Her Flowers My STBXH sent his girlfriend flowers yesterday. He sent me flowers exactly three times in our thirteen year marriage. The flowers I got were always out of obligation because of a holiday or by dropping not so subtle hints. She has a cold, he stopped by and dropped off cold medicine and then had flowers delivered to her. It’s my fault for feeling this upset. Because I am nosey, I looked on her Facebook to see if anything about their relationship had been mentioned but in my defense she has it completely open, no privacy filters. And really, the only reason I am interested in the status of their relationship is because he refuses to sign the papers. We can’t afford attorneys and have had an amicable split. But the longer it goes on the more I want it. So with him having someone I am hoping that he will be more willing to sign. 

I don’t wish to be back with him. I’m very happy that we aren’t together but it stings nonetheless. What’s worse is that I knew from the beginning our marriage wouldn’t last and I always felt like I was training him for his next relationship. 

So, tomorrow when I know he has less on his plate with work, I will email him the documents and demand he sign. If he doesn’t, I’m going to have to lawyer up. I need my freedom. 2018 I will finally be a divorced woman and I will have my family name back. I hate having his name since none of his family will even speak to me. 

Sorry, I’m rambling. So much in my head and my heart hurts. Just wish I had someone to talk to. I hate being a burden to people so I keep it to myself. I just feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. ",2.946808650065531,4.807527489296639,4.37320554827436,84.5096903669725,75.3302752293578,7.484884228920926,26.663280908693753,8.306716005460428,1.8321831367409347,1287,49,255,23,28,427,175,327,0.11,0.777,0.113,0.4873,7,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,4,0,2,1,12,12,3,1,13,0,36,2,2,1,1,48,60,21,0,9,9,0,3,2,1,7,0,1,0,1,11,16,0,4,6,1,0,4,8,7,0,1,13,8,51,5,37,35,5,33,0,1,2,0,46,13,0,4,16,182,62,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874701679442015,0.0,0.0,0.08530135995281175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322384029110376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19290639101172635,0.0,0.2293954199437849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315181515215447,0.0,0.0,0.10015111846955786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284985692631686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365013986694824,0.0,0.12684928143420152,0.08961211127069604,0.12043904788724935,0.1374099387399907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07128865299958677,0.0,0.10032330845435036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13352986015896762,0.0,0.2476858417752719,0.12873439744696638,0.0,0.0,0.14864327214577006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458709595674668,0.0,0.0,0.13428274312162453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149403646085206,0.0,0.0,0.06893681273932868,0.1022477752305599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256421847574865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533536258880748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09221051828261886,0.09300983545918017,0.0,0.0,0.13340351386945673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540037742980853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696211836810719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08035805861276564,0.12896997409422256,0.0,0.40401670296541903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995692971899224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10376265920544037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21256447323956665,0.0,0.0,0.1404162847976416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048708239541501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082138920475203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07314323643440998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10349853871478523,0.07398590455503606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884923758314751,0.0,0.0,0.09131952132370907,0.0,0.12783086732904628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077721930263163
divorce,PinkahBoo,2018/01/18,"When did you know? Just the title, when did you know enough was enough? Is being tired of being lied to a legit reason to leave or should I get good? I don't want a divorce, with all my heart i want to stay, at the same time I am tired of being lied to. ",-0.6147619047619061,1.1886194285714282,1.3250000000000028,102.1866666666667,86.85714285714286,3.733333333333334,11.11904761904762,3.1291,-1.9441095238095243,192,1,49,0,6,63,37,56,0.257,0.6940000000000001,0.049,-0.8513,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,4,0,10,3,1,1,1,11,15,3,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,7,1,8,8,4,5,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,3,37,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4845441520929642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225018523851215,0.0,0.0,0.19666384444107488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778502444894228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577191688186218,0.0,0.0,0.2482718102311672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24107608986656714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24991577061335385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13672240817006795,0.538981746954407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765951175944004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kfh227,2018/01/18,"Children's psychologist said ex is enabling my sons refusal to visit. Two kids.  In Connecticut.  My son who is 13 has not seen me in 7 months. I've suspected that my ex is not really supporting me like she should regarding this.  Yesterday, the psychologist spoke with me in private and told me that my ex is an enabler and a big part of the problem.  He said if I wanted to file a motion for contempt that he would write a letter to my attorney for court.

It was great.  He told me, remember when I asked her XYZ?  I said yes and he said her response pretty much proves it.  So I asked if he was actually asking a different question when he asked her and he said yes.  He wanted to verify his worries that she is enabling my son to not see me.

I told him that I don't want to file amotion for contempt but now I am wondering what the real gain could be in court? I think she needs a psychologist (she refuses to get one).  I could demand that she get a psychologist.  I don't want more time with my kids.  I can not become primary and honestly do not want primary.  I have the kids 40% of the time and with work that is plenty.

Am I seeing things correctly or are there actions that I am missing?",2.1446171256129745,4.090573037344402,4.1055092417955485,85.1393728781592,77.96265560165975,7.8672953602414175,25.062429271972842,8.710501217029153,1.8537784232365149,926,34,193,21,22,315,122,241,0.087,0.8340000000000001,0.079,0.6409,1,0,0,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,0,5,5,8,2,0,12,2,23,0,0,0,2,40,51,13,0,13,9,6,0,1,0,2,0,6,0,4,14,9,0,2,6,0,0,3,7,4,0,2,12,9,37,4,19,34,3,15,0,1,3,0,48,5,0,5,8,130,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.10798350136897948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4137906540314245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220996150419193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766983271838492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156111197934568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562553730075804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219977355117485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406053548928533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832391541802823,0.0,0.08134429539220316,0.08204941985883919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498281922572897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11982878542758432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11257610754148907,0.0,0.1058820706885524,0.0,0.0,0.12395913528559532,0.0,0.0,0.12594982954535086,0.07088854697580532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535075716148875,0.0,0.5262921182635807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176355716657804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.125570196116484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07351439005367537,0.07090337646473034,0.0,0.0,0.12904786007658522,0.0,0.0,0.31720732271972873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080940399321554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3263364845504085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000083124477487,0.08055829482340715,0.11237571483180313,0.0,0.0786062707637206,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,runs_with_2beers,2018/01/18,"Advice from those who moved out First post here, so reconciliation has failed. I think we still love each other, there was just too much damage.

Sunday she said she was done trying. It's very amicable so far. We have agreed or reached compromise on all the issues we can think of and she's having papers drawn up today. My lawyer says he will review anything her lawyer comes up with and once that process is in motion, it's safe for me to leave the house. It seems like it can be final in 30 days in our state.

I am looking to buy a house and wanted to ask those who have done this. I have nothing to put inside it. No furniture. No bed. Nothing. An air mattress and a TV. I didn't fight on her keeping the house and belongings as it's our daughter's home, there's very little equity in it, and she is being very fair in leaving my 401K alone. I have some money but not a lot and won't be able to buy an entire household worth of stuff at once.

My question is: Those of you who've been here. Is it smart to buy the house and live pretty sparsely while you slowly fill it one thing at a time? Or is it better to start with an apartment and build up some ""stuff"" before you get the house?

Thanks.",2.2230981299402406,3.869998639676116,3.185806824754194,93.17116059379221,76.77327935222671,5.676421823790246,19.454212454212453,6.18269132825596,-0.18112207441681072,932,19,207,6,21,297,149,247,0.041,0.8370000000000001,0.122,0.9662,0,1,0,0,1,0,27.0,5,3,0,3,9,9,1,0,12,0,25,1,0,0,1,33,38,16,0,1,5,1,0,1,0,2,0,2,3,0,21,17,0,2,4,1,5,5,5,3,0,2,7,3,23,6,28,26,6,33,0,2,1,1,24,17,0,7,10,142,44,5,0.10371292977712623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013470746498662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741531706601874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08534690429225343,0.0,0.09695758912521177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825206442211203,0.0,0.0,0.09172565824602733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933950563259364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688625974963856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21226867104422226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136124451228842,0.0,0.08821816508664884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418572521523103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10403252480187036,0.0,0.0,0.5983539809915193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10824935322223064,0.0,0.09218481730718414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21963403533819406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0506688987466691,0.10394760200095092,0.09158041710215906,0.0,0.08709274024395662,0.0,0.0,0.08817302408704654,0.09360496834698216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023043101509122,0.07624093674883371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19903070654867366,0.0,0.0,0.22090177077756049,0.0702785653287002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09932831782474376,0.105513335054633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1042601401294304,0.1161822171694052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865474623999104,0.08247668449096382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441635608386637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340854550376996,0.0,0.08282527969146596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23745298298751555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954849314672142,0.0,0.0,0.06890226210931781,0.13291011531324642,0.0,0.0,0.06047584339033023,0.0,0.09830773059413976,0.0,0.0,0.07041427142315959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25672208628843696,0.061172573091902924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,4better_or_worse,2018/01/18,"Priorities: Divorce or eyelash extensions? Cheating STBXW spent almost an hour and 4 phone calls yesterday arranging coupons for, and a booking eyelash extensions. What I really needed was for her to complete our divorce paperwork. 


I confronted her and she spent a few minutes filling out the form before declaring that a clearly required document was unnecessary. Did she call and check? Of course not, it's not like getting divorced requires the same amount of attention to detail as booking eyelash extensions. 


Infuriating, but typical behavior from a narcissistic cheater, right? It's all about her.


I called to discover the document is necessary and that I can obtain a copy without my STBXW being present. So, tomorrow I make a trip to her hometown to obtain this certificate before returning to our local authority and submitting the paperwork.


If our paperwork is accepted at the town office then the divorce is a done deal. Can it really be this easy? Will this be my first weekend as a single guy in 17 years?",6.568314393939396,9.306170869318187,7.088272727272727,65.14157575757577,67.57954545454545,11.056969696969695,40.14242424242424,10.93419730881044,5.6946542424242415,827,50,116,28,15,270,113,176,0.061,0.863,0.076,0.4074,0,0,0,0,4,0,19.0,3,0,0,5,2,4,2,0,15,0,13,0,0,1,2,23,18,13,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,2,2,3,4,2,3,2,0,1,6,0,16,2,18,8,6,17,0,0,0,0,19,6,0,3,10,90,25,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20276809499449705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3446142865296433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6203058317086613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21231069195526356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087620150102281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722126191467266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17224095673773596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579455085505893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20050050467991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19941541142659933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09892814692304863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516605354455388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15014644211866746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594451766676946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292843203145808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19519660895666197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1303992424312197
divorce,TroubledLife_09,2018/01/18,Does anyone have experience with alimony in NE? We've been married for 12 years and during that time I helped my wife build a successful business. She now makes 10x my salary and is going through a midlife crisis. She wants to divorce me and is threating to leave me with nothing. I have no idea how alimony works.,3.2735000000000016,5.8378446833333335,3.6500000000000017,86.70500000000001,77.16666666666666,6.666666666666668,28.33333333333333,7.793537801064563,1.903333333333333,251,11,47,4,6,78,48,60,0.13,0.7809999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.3843,1,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,2,2,1,0,2,0,5,0,0,2,0,9,8,4,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,1,7,7,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,3,29,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415678319767353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30233210538922745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33794598865897996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19634439446609012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315681371785999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3900051637477672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658137140009302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306107575546921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3314976290022128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201452319025968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20377320958734765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2515137453549697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224779616851746
divorce,Illfengyourshui,2018/01/18,"What is up with the periodic nastiness? Typical or? I (F53) told my spouse of 25 years several months ago that I wanted to end our marriage after five years of increasing issues and a couple of years of my just being frozen in my tracks not knowing what to do about those. He knew things between us were bad, so it wasn't a huge surprise, but I guess he did not think I would really leave and was hurt to find that I would.

His hurt turned something around in his mind and he started talking like he had decided to leave me, not vice versa. That was fine with me. I just want out, don't have a stake in being the leaver vs. the leave-ee. 

I went to an attorney (he said he doesn't want one, won't pay one) and filed, etc. So I am the only one who has taken any action.

And this is how it has gone for several weeks now: 98% of the time it's like nothing has happened. We talk to and treat each other with cool civility, which has been the case for a couple of years. An outsider would not know any change is in the works. 

But then, something will set him off and he will be very bitter and critical, say mean things, and try to rehash old arguments. Like, ten year old arguments. 

I guess from where I sit, we have decided to part ways, so let's do it in a businesslike way. I do not feel inclined to dredge up his past misdeeds or criticize him, I just want to move forward. 

For those of you further along in the process--is this just what it's like? Periodic outbursts of mean talk, and business as usual the rest of the time?

",4.213653846153846,4.578164852564104,4.865794871794872,87.96253846153847,70.34615384615384,8.291282051282051,26.4974358974359,8.238735603445708,1.3825828205128206,1182,34,263,16,20,380,170,312,0.117,0.799,0.084,-0.9178,0,0,2,0,0,0,43.0,4,1,0,1,12,12,1,0,17,1,32,0,0,1,0,54,53,20,0,7,14,1,1,4,0,6,0,2,0,0,20,19,0,0,10,0,1,6,9,4,0,5,13,5,27,8,42,30,5,45,0,2,0,0,26,15,0,4,26,177,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651540546839677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13274099723612154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688358201167416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814908817751385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324653918994199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21598232693834504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644352601927703,0.0,0.10884840828992697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04934886186332812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892034917880446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150320588888922,0.0,0.08630625465946168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20896296663297012,0.0,0.0,0.10186774083336217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10727544407686344,0.0,0.0,0.2066859738559796,0.0,0.0998013371208092,0.0,0.19072728260061544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21262730742040276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854691791775208,0.0,0.07790239323316504,0.10373202836180168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364863543783973,0.0,0.2048269460953969,0.0,0.1984063220501804,0.07422824937222904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056899382104026,0.09316905295064012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06252426011799833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09283876367672053,0.07761444544866862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2205176202687058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15027257609489594,0.0,0.0,0.06908089947641738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353385412584289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12968054903708992,0.06253733984473163,0.0,0.0,0.11382123509815108,0.0,0.0,0.09325979067691208,0.0,0.0662631465111735,0.10615941671541544,0.0,0.0,0.11739928244211603,0.0,0.1074912374158595,0.08052919231933693,0.2302650920802411,0.15493869403968166,0.07828783232424287,0.0,0.0,0.09047502152327608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105305433782147,0.0,0.0,0.2079940609509512,0.0,0.0,0.3142519840868835
divorce,shakesfear,2018/01/18,"She's gone, and I'm lost I came home from work today and she was gone, she took our 3 boys (9,6, and 2) their clothes, and left.

We've been together for 12 years and married for 10. She's 30 I'm 27. 

Almost 9 months ago she had an affair, she left after I found out but she continued to see the other guy for 2 months. She came home one day crying and saying she messed up everything and she's sorry, she wants her life back, ECT.

 Now I should mention that during this 2 months I was a complete and total mess. I lost almost 30 pounds in the first month (170-145lbs) and almost went into renal failure from severe dehydration. My doctor compared my urine to tea due to all the blood in it. I also spent 3 days in a psychiatric hospital. It was bad. I'm usually pretty level headed and easy going, but this shook me to my core. I couldn't function, I used all of my sick leave and vacation from work.

Before this we were told all the time how much people wanted a marriage like ours, how even after all these years we are just as in love as the beginning. 

I wrote the affair off as a sort of early midlife crisis. We had been together since we were teenagers, we're all the other one has ever know. She also had weight loss surgery a year prior to her affair and had lost almost 100 pounds.

So for the last 6 months or so we've been working on our marriage. There's been a lot of arguments, a lot of insecurities on my end and guilt from hers. Things have been ok for a while now, minus a couple mild arguments until today. We were texting while I was at work and I told her I'm sorry it's taking me so long to heal, all I want is to be us again, and that I was trying my hardest to move past it all. She then tells me she's been thinking about moving  into her parents. I stayed calm and tried to find out what was going on. She says that ""we just don't have it anymore"" and she's tired of the stress. I'm heartbroken, again.

 I asked her to block me on social media as well as my phone if she was positive she wanted a divorce.That if she needed me she could contact me, or vice versa I could contact her mom. A safeguard against me blowing up her phone like I did this summer, so that I can't cry when I see her relationship status change, so that I can't message her at night when it hurts the most. Our only contact will be for or about our boys. 

I'm so lost again. I'm terrified, she's all I've known for almost half my life. She's all I ever saw when I thought about the future.  Everything inside of me hurts, I don't even want to get out of bed. I just, can't. ",1.9359444444444447,3.412817742592594,3.4466666666666685,91.725,77.12962962962962,6.133333333333334,20.333333333333336,6.742157984588678,0.16251111111111127,1991,45,445,18,45,657,245,540,0.17,0.753,0.077,-0.995,1,0,0,0,1,0,63.0,12,0,1,10,31,20,0,4,23,1,38,12,3,3,12,82,80,46,0,12,10,2,1,2,0,2,6,2,3,3,20,30,2,1,6,0,1,11,6,14,1,4,38,6,85,6,59,35,14,78,0,7,3,1,72,21,0,14,47,298,105,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06312891188239815,0.0,0.3565639541194366,0.0,0.0,0.11390322456437495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062738720291573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06657758363776779,0.0,0.0,0.054760903109094566,0.059462597059443414,0.0,0.0,0.06059978649717693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16290484380678866,0.0,0.0,0.07533735338113072,0.0,0.07466888696415175,0.0,0.0,0.1137207671765634,0.07879943006466476,0.15645542106586588,0.0918571840095616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728928532608774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0630764625944931,0.0,0.0,0.09407532770583207,0.12883835719540662,0.0,0.0,0.12800915338823993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509036560831655,0.060576508939819834,0.0,0.07808494623554335,0.0,0.0,0.037207553168750136,0.0,0.08094767621153474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07051528767733556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730884220935165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14287141797843353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524769448381773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039138590518120235,0.05805075179889513,0.0,0.07540772975772529,0.15475333584640588,0.0,0.10060429207914204,0.06958532848384871,0.0,0.0,0.06302414340003598,0.0,0.0,0.31096381393769396,0.12109102420377316,0.06427544935119796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834076155055365,0.2842206709440242,0.15138321417742656,0.05235214065050789,0.052805949673936745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06683162969165304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09651595307452206,0.05416316999769311,0.0,0.0,0.07907722175849513,0.0,0.06798397235780118,0.04937238329058835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07245253262669038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07645960443823162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326804656356886,0.0,0.0,0.11350026745545352,0.0,0.0,0.08045409567862734,0.0,0.0589108209146447,0.0,0.0,0.07259600208109394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944153071165512,0.0,0.07590705072419712,0.0,0.0,0.08157797789564226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535457597425977,0.0,0.06224614463857424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04731291443819185,0.045632499726997,0.0,0.056537750433611964,0.04152677018592755,0.08185260719056531,0.13500936264861338,0.1361003644596981,0.0791238781465015,0.09670232288704612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856643844667917,0.0615079775042745,0.07843464199488172,0.0,0.21002595764340248,0.0,0.0,0.08672221112654488,0.06403196472361296,0.066018180581577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20738512323824645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375827972247307
divorce,jessikawesome,2018/01/19,"Should we keep joint bills? I'm going through an incredibly amicable and peaceful divorce. I was very worried at the beginning because my reason for leaving was his immaturity and tendency to be nasty and pick at all of my insecurities. How mature he's been through this process has been very off-putting, to where I've been sitting on the prepared divorce papers for a while because it hasn't seemed necessary. Now that he's agreed to all of my terms, I want to have him sign before something changes his mind!

He gets a great rate on our cell phone plan and I have great car insurance. I proposed that I keep paying for his car insurance if he keeps paying the phone bill, to which he agreed. Is this recommended? I keep thinking that even though it seems friendly and peaceful now, it may be better to clean break from everything and simply move forward as friends.",7.794758009543287,7.7442909570552185,7.110143149284254,76.34424676209956,62.74233128834357,9.943830947511929,37.743012951601905,9.444778638647367,3.4374109066121328,698,32,128,11,9,216,103,163,0.049,0.731,0.22,0.9814,0,0,1,0,2,0,14.0,2,0,0,2,6,6,0,1,6,0,14,0,0,3,2,25,26,11,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,4,4,0,4,5,1,1,0,0,5,0,15,5,19,17,3,17,0,0,0,0,18,6,0,4,6,79,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914195869788688,0.0,0.13360109078185464,0.0,0.0,0.13885961846443107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609221203784275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10370140823635668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14110744865023012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24260588886073986,0.0,0.0820294917854281,0.0,0.08923049455480539,0.0,0.0,0.3462007607184955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5582188802681404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16624736705111573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853195385425253,0.0,0.0,0.1668732161383894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783504371905507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142898044678478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2858659056431547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208713859469382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060351844496176,0.1542582315146748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590938503291257,0.092606587103964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15944786924880427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lifereset2017,2018/01/19,"What is necessary to prove adultery in Texas divorce Texas is no fault but i feel like i need to start gathering evidence just in case. The goal would be to limit spousal support.

Cell phone is under business plan if that makes any difference .

She is starting to have more and more ‘dinner plans’ that end with her rolling in the next morning.",4.068020833333332,6.5985005937500025,3.504375,88.93645833333336,74.3125,6.7666666666666675,29.416666666666664,7.793537801064563,1.9439354166666667,274,12,51,4,6,81,51,64,0.051,0.85,0.1,0.6542,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,0,4,1,3,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,1,11,13,3,0,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,1,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,9,11,2,8,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,5,32,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234012823701546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3432279731602204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2909665433800016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1661069187865812,0.23469098950878556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16049570367532867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21928613394047194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2435895104850906,0.0,0.0,0.3493791433994479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650488349989829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3727946237298832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333674393961045,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,happygirl503,2018/01/19,"missing our son: Any happy stories of your kids being better off/happier post-divorce I am 4.5 mo separated, 6 weeks into official divorce process. I have our son 70% of the time right now, I'm lucky. But I miss him like crazy when he's gone. This week has been rough, partly b/c I have the flu and the meds make me feel awful, which exascerbates my sadness when our son isn't here.

Lately I have panic feelings that he'll have a terrible life as a divorce kid.  Can someone please share a positive example of how well their kids are doing? My son is 3.5.  I just need to know that there are kids who thrive even coming from divorce.

STBX and I have had it rough lately. He won't respond to most of my communication, which is only either about our son or about our divorce, no small talk.  When he does respond he finds a way to put me down 100% of the time, so I think that this is weighing on me too, because communication is terrible.

Thanks and happy friday folks!",2.6716001219140497,4.594552191709845,4.000341359341665,86.60295641572692,76.3056994818653,6.613715330691862,24.306309052118262,7.5105763829236425,1.0966314538250534,755,25,154,10,17,248,125,193,0.127,0.733,0.14,0.5562,0,0,0,0,5,0,28.0,5,1,1,1,14,14,0,1,8,1,20,3,0,2,0,19,33,11,0,1,4,5,4,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,9,5,1,0,5,0,0,3,3,6,1,0,3,4,22,8,15,27,3,19,0,3,0,0,31,5,0,3,11,95,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10894849169410192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09766270634776933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416929829981515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800697966875158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020110525247476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581738619627754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620142737745573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642930347836866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5116405014583009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08804738604757781,0.0,0.3614483729317656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131612664824309,0.07827065562604221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694161326549728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17795751642582106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879390072561505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12184714562318155,0.0,0.18797225719967486,0.0,0.1734921327249573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17586278922072487,0.0,0.0,0.1534371725196746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16105559278866333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13681871310107618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574565962379306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877096321135112,0.0,0.14750011097957547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1026562854356939,0.0,0.0,0.1868398180653244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716747178454804,0.257022063336014,0.0,0.14404829205064615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Randori68,2018/01/19,"Something to keep in mind.. My friend just went thru a divorce.  The judge awarded the property to the husband but he was ordered to pay her $19,000 in the property settlement. A month after the divorce being finalised, he declared bankruptcy (chapter 13), he keeps the property and now basically owes her nothing.
South Carolina",6.084736842105265,8.836814666666667,6.245473684210527,70.5903157894737,69.0,9.472280701754386,41.22456140350877,9.888512548439397,5.095641403508774,264,17,38,7,5,84,42,57,0.028,0.902,0.07,0.3291,1,0,1,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,2,7,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,3,24,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768751585542529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6370700303607937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3618507371394218,0.0,0.28604688012539004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3438649171510921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758901220896667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33221184307586604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,do30_throwaway342,2018/01/19,"Now What? PA Uncontested Divorce Trying to do a divorce in PA without lawyers and not sure of what the next step is..

It is an 11 year marriage, there are no children, we have agreed verbally on how we will spilt assets and so far everything has been amicable. 

* I filed for the divorce. ( with her knowledge )
* I served the papers personally.
* She signed the receipt of them having being served.
* I filed the receipt of having filed the papers.
* 90 days have past. ( this is the waiting period in PA )

What is the next step to finalize the divorce?",1.266627839254511,3.8446733564356457,2.616167734420504,86.88787419918467,97.6138613861386,5.148747815958067,23.762958648806052,6.794906146795322,1.310344903902155,423,18,76,7,17,136,66,101,0.045,0.918,0.038,-0.1833,0,0,0,0,4,0,21.0,2,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,11,0,14,0,0,1,1,12,15,4,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,5,0,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,8,1,11,12,0,14,0,0,0,0,15,4,0,0,8,57,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172634248658327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26718353113651483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3256647724944129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6323389034683858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837952961090868,0.0,0.25958065364525623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280190679693233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018392233225881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2865752870830442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914439012792228
divorce,vuhyac,2018/01/19,"Lost. You ready for this? I need advice and using this as an escape to gain any insight or direction anyone might have. 

I’m at a loss on whether to stay or leave in my marriage. I love my life in every aspect except for who I share it with and what they’ve done. I love my husband beyond what I could ever describe, but I hate what he’s done to me and how he’s ruined the trust and broke his vows in our marriage. Over the last few years, his attention has lingered else where every couple months. I am always fed up and done, but I always stay and try to forgive. To my knowledge, he has never done anything physical with another woman. He has, however, hidden texts/calls, purchased gifts, taken to dinner, made Tinder accounts, and more. I always find out. I am a firm believer in the truth will always come out. This past time I told myself if it ever happened again that I was out. Something minor via text ended up happening and now I am just numb. I told him I can’t be on the back burner anymore because he knows I’ll always forgive him. I told him to stay with a friend for a few days to give me space. He changed his phone number, cut out social media and trying many attempts to prove this time he is really changing and wants to be the husband he should have always been. I just feel like I am constantly waiting for the next time he screws up again. I find myself wondering if other men in the world would do what he has done to me. I find myself wondering if someone else would treat me better. I find myself wondering if I leave if he could have really changed. I am so lost. I’m in this zen type of mood towards my marriage. I’m just existing in it. I’m lost. ",3.2419615384615383,4.574065644117649,4.398823529411768,86.81662895927604,73.44117647058823,6.877828054298643,24.253393665158374,7.321109707123232,1.009138009049774,1309,38,265,14,26,429,176,340,0.099,0.784,0.117,0.6571,1,0,1,0,0,0,37.0,1,1,0,7,13,22,3,0,12,0,31,7,0,3,5,63,60,23,0,12,14,2,1,1,1,5,2,0,0,2,15,18,2,1,15,0,2,1,2,10,0,0,16,1,44,11,41,35,3,45,1,6,0,3,39,23,1,11,19,179,59,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07431751579556391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796900879367295,0.0,0.0,0.05171823348498817,0.07974756256531483,0.0,0.0,0.07542353548525371,0.05317759974107632,0.0,0.06258463729471246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05847959385764768,0.0,0.04636083135369565,0.0,0.0,0.08568500063061894,0.0,0.06726215906190078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413600348735072,0.06551240027357724,0.0,0.0821856160196504,0.0,0.12144329074370333,0.0841505235444226,0.0,0.04904750021274063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3891400015178724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270640268598958,0.0,0.06735984443416626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13758748257061926,0.12815483821145246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038454373753514584,0.05433184296644769,0.0,0.0,0.2780420284330908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05875788824122692,0.0,0.0,0.07295638293283356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450575549776714,0.0,0.0,0.07508599043992792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04179640487485553,0.06199284883171876,0.0,0.16105700087428454,0.0,0.0,0.0537180525438349,0.03715535644179918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490605045438157,0.0,0.13728050341272066,0.07196261075734556,0.0,0.07710518706841665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08067956785682079,0.0,0.0,0.060704292511911714,0.0,0.0,0.056391883896566776,0.058656292031798576,0.0,0.08088258008823222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0726006122359492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744221756920267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07752583460746934,0.06443894366806666,0.058548845787574126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24318518752911256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330402814863147,0.0,0.0,0.2180139548180445,0.0,0.1032691618737452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06568484702104789,0.0,0.0,0.04485767036413206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474267199459484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805087231758853,0.0,0.0,0.0489752460039635
divorce,Terra99,2018/01/19,"Children and movies I wanted to throw this out to the peanut gallery for thoughts on how to handle this. Ex has primary custody, I have standard visitation. The issue is my ex seems to have taken the stance that she has first priority on taking the children to any and all movies she wants and that if I dare take the kids to see a movie without asking permission first, then I am being a jerk and disrespectful. At one point in time, I got tired of hearing it from the kids when I was pitching what movie to go see when for every movie they said ""no, we're going to see that with mom"".  I had a stern conversation with the kids that mom doesn't get to claim every movie. There has to be some give and take and I did go so far to tell the children that if the answer to every movie was no, then they would lose the ability to influence it. I followed up the conversation with backing off and reinforcing that the intent is to have some fairness. They see some with me and some with mom and there should be equal treatment.

In any case, fast forward a couple of months and I offered the kids a choice between three movies. They picked one with no hesitation or mention that any movie was ""reserved"". We went to see the movie. The ex came unglued on me last night because apparently there was specific plans she had to see this movie with the kids and the kids knew about it. (By the way, there's been movies that the kids told me they specifically wanted to see with me instead of mom, but they ended up seeing it with mom instead. So the reverse has happened as well, but I've chosen not to dwell on it.) I mentioned that the kids had a choice and that the kids made no mention of other plans with mom to see this movie. My ex stated that the kids might have just not wanted to see the other movies at all and that her interpretation was the kids would be yelled at if they mentioned they intended to see the movie with mom.

So how do I work on this? The kids are kind of in a position where they are trying not to offend either parent and are in a no win situation. My ex isn't going to relent with her opinion that she gets first priority on all movies. My kids are willing to reserve some movies for seeing with me and are in the best position to try and find the movies that might create the least angst, however she's rolled over ""reservations"" the kids made on their own several times. I'm guessing the kids didn't mention they'd already told me they wanted to see a given movie with me, I don't know (by the way these were movies the kids wanted more than me, but I was just happy to go see it with them). I'm willing to keep her venom aimed at me instead of the kids on this topic, but I'd like to arm the kids with some thought processes on how to help influence/institute some fairness into the situation.

Side note: Based on comments she made last night, I get the impression that my ex feels like I spend a lavish amount of money on the kids and that ""movies"" is basically the only thing she can afford to do and I get the impression that she feels like she can't financially compete with me being ""fun dad"" even though she sees more of my paycheck than I do and I've taken a second job to make ends meet, while she still has no job (to be fair she's going to school, so it's not like she's doing nothing). The ironic thing is that all the ""lavish"" things she mentioned I do with the kids cost less than going to a movie (i.e. going to the beach, going camping, walking around the mall [not buying anything], taking them to a free concert).",8.174902426160338,5.956933035161747,7.763076213080173,78.97917128164558,63.23347398030942,10.631522503516175,33.189214135021096,8.751876143730069,2.4206079113924046,2792,78,584,31,32,885,265,711,0.031,0.8859999999999999,0.083,0.992,8,0,0,0,0,0,69.0,1,0,14,10,26,17,2,1,59,0,56,2,1,11,4,106,123,41,0,12,17,15,2,4,0,7,1,4,0,23,38,42,0,1,10,3,5,16,17,4,1,7,28,21,67,14,103,81,20,70,0,1,15,0,90,32,0,16,25,413,105,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05716587141035831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10568339881895616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04262943477549784,0.04611563088895541,0.04842878902144189,0.0,0.0,0.039833290401809454,0.0,0.031578612927380456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436402659177113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059248803277493226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057319006865348326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176412036301998,0.0,0.0,0.03421537662268258,0.0,0.13093872281243898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238628163773232,0.07401611181555748,0.0,0.0,0.04734698093767237,0.13219075298962213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1082596660291708,0.04969413424968802,0.2649674219867991,0.0,0.04143157164232597,0.0,0.05706681761624342,0.0,0.04580919997922207,0.055145230483336735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058385718092980834,0.0,0.03472244238630174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05406884738168245,0.1028129193176616,0.04604486465298169,0.0,0.05394482712232298,0.02846956046214057,0.08445267784726224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123326825638536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05795427867707997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14705168332807367,0.03457888827200095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099095408821126,0.0,0.4246971300810973,0.04134864065830282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722716618571206,0.0,0.04970635193799315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020607347482473,0.03939849705003077,0.0,0.0,0.0575210736060942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04897055586347765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927649227592093,0.0,0.0,0.05242737663633264,0.6192039654499328,0.0471594831329188,0.0,0.05852261696263896,0.0,0.0,0.11645742940216952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04136992299426834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557975618746276,0.0,0.04527808372410822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10324678485403564,0.0,0.05089616021793951,0.08225155188549374,0.06041346297630864,0.05953989958623481,0.0,0.0989999257410877,0.0,0.07034163958938665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1833284220180446,0.0822375811323099,0.0,0.0,0.0465770960853729,0.04802187709844975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049936219599405716,0.0,0.037713182991645056,0.0,0.0,0.07359869471173626,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,[deleted],2018/01/19,"Best thing I ever did Wife got fat.  Never wanted to fuck. So I left. Beta decision ever. 

I'm 38. I lift 6 days a week. Have the confidence of a superhero. And tender sends 25 to 35 year old panty droppers my way . 


Best decision ever. 

Edit: Image of texts from a rando I fucked last night removed for mods. Pm and I'll share. ",-1.020814111261874,1.018048492537318,2.1078426051560406,90.79899592944368,101.38805970149254,4.8244233378561745,15.046132971506104,6.574015621080383,-0.02898805970149265,247,6,51,4,11,87,53,67,0.061,0.7070000000000001,0.232,0.9072,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,0,2,4,6,2,0,4,0,2,4,1,0,4,9,7,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,2,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,2,0,5,4,6,5,2,14,0,0,0,2,3,1,2,0,10,27,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4362963444156166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340598332162623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5640946496577413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843474534350682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662537194556952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694429061406552,0.0,0.0,0.2258528455550073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16032321102523125,0.0,0.0,0.1950731938201242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21812602912459106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13810049778793693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226079164361472,0.16499861338012306,0.16674186984856548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13386234329045932
divorce,domon2003,2018/01/19,Jealousy More or less just in the beginning phases of a separation from my wife. I became aware of an emotional affair going on between her and a coworker and after confronting and discussing between ourselves we agree that divorce is the only path at this point between us. I have been doing pretty well for the most part all things considered but the one thing I have been struggling with is the jealousy of her now wanting to pursue this emotional affair into a now full on relationship. The thought of someone touching or doing anything with my wife still infuriates me even though I know our relationship is more or less over. I was just wondering what has worked for others to overcome this jealousy and emotional turmoil. ,10.924410256410255,9.700025338461538,9.743076923076924,63.800256410256424,57.153846153846146,12.051282051282053,43.97435897435898,10.864195022040775,5.039589743589744,594,29,89,11,6,186,85,130,0.14800000000000002,0.777,0.075,-0.9217,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,3,0,0,1,8,4,1,2,10,0,11,0,0,0,1,20,17,9,0,1,6,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,1,1,4,1,13,1,21,13,8,14,0,0,0,0,13,8,0,5,5,88,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548383797167772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5965978636926709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11676871473734313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047433628668127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971596490361998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11979808167559525,0.13445743748047054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19144730448885788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671245338378281,0.0,0.0,0.17985989144228245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3796145049845827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14979434642282605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14118543221357155,0.0,0.0,0.18482022245359594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.234904021879184,0.0,0.17369615068842506,0.14035221802079909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21265767161038054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427584674352153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15895624081721174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19172217757408686,0.1287058726592897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Jchicagothrowaway,2018/01/19,"Sample of a simple Marriage Settlement Agreement letter? Hi Reddit community -

I was wondering if anyone has a sample/template of a simple marriage settlement agreement letter/form?

The divorce at hand is rather simple - 2 year marriage, no kids, no house, no retirement accounts worth fighting over, no investment accounts, each party wishes to keep their car and not a lot of money. Everything is agreed upon. Each party has their bank account and they are simply walking away from the marriage. No spousal support, do helping with debt.

We are looking to put a statement on the marriage settlement agreement saying the marriage was in good faith and not to circumnavigate immigration laws as this divorce decree will be attached to an i751 application with a divorce waiver.

Any help and comments are appreciated.  

Thanks!",7.797199734571997,10.536132051094892,7.3548639681486385,64.51480424684806,64.25547445255475,8.485467816854678,39.46184472461845,9.095868883498916,4.424042335766423,669,37,83,12,11,210,91,137,0.098,0.634,0.268,0.9798,1,0,0,0,5,0,19.0,1,0,3,0,1,8,1,0,11,0,12,1,1,0,0,19,18,6,0,3,4,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,9,0,1,2,0,8,3,7,1,0,0,2,4,5,7,17,14,3,10,1,0,1,0,21,6,0,3,1,62,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17338280410972565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782752568609806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23954505518239766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22914327483583136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138499070147556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3417911134816123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941917483188668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22662181111518515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141037440395477,0.0,0.0,0.21675945121770174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563070847612687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20275590015907424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28932769111065904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23473462046578303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931935499833096,0.0,0.2764952553168212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641870750785712
divorce,middleagedad4321,2018/01/19,"I'm done It's become toxic.   I can't stand to be in the same room as her anymore.  I don't want to put my kids through this, but I have to.  Wish me luck...",-2.2931081081081075,-0.8831311891891858,0.7742567567567562,105.98679054054057,90.62162162162164,3.7,14.655405405405405,3.1291,-1.6321837837837836,114,2,34,0,4,40,31,37,0.034,0.857,0.109,0.5329,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,8,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,1,6,6,1,4,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,22,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4072079031867879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4534788203262808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4201894887178218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41276948462646224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2421843231466344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4721732551214343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nobodycaresanyways,2018/01/19,"where to go from here Recently separated. Married 4 years, 3 kids. She moved out before New Year's and the past 2 weeks up until a few days ago we were pretty much at war with each other. She wanted to separate for a while and I tried to get her to stay and work things out for the sake of not having to uproot the kids, but she wanted out. She had checked out of the marriage a long time ago. Her claim is because I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain any longer and stopped providing. Basically I was expected to pay for everything while she stayed at home and looked after the kids for the past 10 years. I worked away for sometimes up to 2 weeks at a time away from my kids so that she didn't have to work. And then I decided it was time for her to get a job once I couldn't do it any longer so that I could get a job in town and be home every night. Well after a few months of me not being able to land a high enough paying job in town, and her having to work and put our youngest in daycare, she became very resentful towards me, cut off sex, cut me off from going to her family functions, just started treating me really poorly. Accusing me of not providing, when I was still working odd end jobs and still applying and trying to land the in town city job. And I finally get it, and the she leaves me, takes the kids, and then tries to demand her 60, me 40. I told her if she wants anything more than 50/50 time with the kids she will need to take it to the courts and have a pretty convincing reason. Finally she agreed to 50/50 but in the process of defending my rights and threatening legal action in order to do so, she basically has now accused me of being mentally unstable and now wants a divorce. Just because I wasn't willing to give up my rights to my kids. I can't help but feel that she was being emotionally manipulative just to get the kids out and use them against me and once she realized it wasn't going to work and that she had lost her control over me, she just decided to throw in the towel. The problem is we still don't have anything in writing between us. Just kind of trying to let the ashes settle at this point. The separation was supposed to help matters. Not sure how this is going to end up now.  ",6.571806678717532,5.264560032822762,6.980136999334032,80.40831034154697,65.73960612691468,10.311064598991534,31.685757777566362,9.318704503766252,2.4468630767767108,1753,54,374,27,23,574,204,457,0.105,0.852,0.044,-0.9808,6,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,4,0,1,8,19,11,4,0,28,0,34,1,0,5,1,66,57,34,1,10,13,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,8,13,30,0,3,5,0,5,8,11,6,1,0,14,2,56,5,79,34,6,89,0,1,1,1,44,38,0,1,40,267,69,14,0.07567657112986373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416542848720872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029253268570138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455073995626068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220125939378947,0.0,0.0,0.09226347071245312,0.0,0.06439518818867886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487770943159686,0.060421584188558836,0.0,0.0,0.048805127812235616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08512595673309117,0.20108094007415853,0.07819412759974745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376077508065955,0.0,0.06801322247804603,0.0,0.07134113621888108,0.0,0.03826434818980329,0.0,0.0,0.16579996926238452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19768942490033006,0.07259586275164398,0.17203495736147045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144882086938266,0.07995645233077095,0.15181954226741742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37548659879951857,0.0,0.0,0.07880550340723376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013056199226004,0.0,0.07738442122484725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697138404711481,0.06354926011761496,0.0,0.08260991694797465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626418437941422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060404317079254526,0.08043221873410886,0.05563098723832452,0.056113218598442975,0.0,0.07308890396778521,0.0,0.07101733553385675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611861568744136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14448370025193052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0715388205471968,0.0,0.0,0.1539805581149851,0.0,0.07241225822710635,0.0,0.07607585599471266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04848034927514276,0.07780811903662331,0.07472148430117358,0.0,0.0,0.12925475651028787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748460638923485,0.0,0.05356426655089155,0.16132231147249926,0.18130622237916375,0.06326900203710913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07132427269446474,0.0,0.11379872684835265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027615120631091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651046880275054,0.0,0.0,0.07231220676279382,0.0,0.20551769702633585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09102959725878527,0.06536025975400588,0.0,0.06244109667381353,0.17854400945897,0.0,0.12140636123994852,0.0,0.06804232583657685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305606705169176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619969196135882
divorce,Wtftwaftw1234,2018/01/19,"Stock payout Hi /r/divorce! I have a question that I can’t find the answer to and my lawyer is MIA. My STBX and I split up about a year ago. She moved out, we split our cash and set up separate bank accounts, credit cards, etc. We haven’t finalized our divorce or filed yet (state makes it easy to file at the last second something something lawyer speak).

While we were still together I worked for a company where I got stock options. I bought the stock with our marital cash and left. Year later they apparently sold the company and I am about to receive a not insignificant cash payment. The stock is not documented anywhere in our divorce because I honestly thought it was worthless.

Do I have any chance of keeping it all or do I have to split it with her? I told my lawyer about it but haven’t heard back. Was that a mistake? Do I need to do anything before I get the payment on Monday/Tuesday?

Funky caveat if I do split it: the stock is all in my name. I assume the tax burden will be all on me. How do I make sure I am not on the hook for taxes she didn’t pay next year?",2.096454545454545,4.013236645454551,3.2354545454545485,91.45818181818184,78.0,6.218181818181819,24.18181818181818,7.1686216300943375,0.8482454545454545,842,29,182,10,20,271,122,220,0.07400000000000001,0.8690000000000001,0.057,-0.6809,1,0,2,0,3,0,25.0,7,0,1,1,8,6,0,0,14,0,23,0,0,3,4,35,34,11,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,1,5,0,11,2,7,3,0,1,10,2,33,3,22,22,4,27,0,1,0,0,20,11,0,6,12,123,41,13,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738815525176746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13339364565882145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16142068992746927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508328049058969,0.0,0.11957562919929016,0.0,0.16691535849688474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21876716776694727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214880661790416,0.17928415821583116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248405868959867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15688485935843668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435356248667144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15989432649201912,0.0,0.0,0.21312540872231445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618729538023102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.208484096441602,0.0,0.14544810353422974,0.0,0.0,0.20861544374659652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974099480595569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30202284426391324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15665142048327999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18487587164811112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15572693284444775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874366432496052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14280480259548906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3789564823440417
divorce,1BoredBear,2018/01/20,"Starting the divorce process - Do I need to go to this meeting with my ex after she served me papers? I'm married, in the process of getting a divorce. We had been ""amicably"" separating our possessions and debt (Very little debt or possessions, no home, no property, no business, ect). This step is virtually done, I have very few items left at her residence.

We had planned on meeting up this weekend to discuss the divorce paperwork, go over together and to file together. We had verbally agreed to no lawyers, 50/50 child care, 50/50 split of our items and debt. 

A few days ago she had her new significant other serve me divorce paperwork asking for child support and spousal support, while maintaining 50/50 child care - Which is a pretty harsh, scathing piece of paperwork to read though. I had been giving her money every month (She was caught cheating on me 4 - 5 months ago, I had moved out but agreed to financially support her for 6 months during the transition) - Now that she has filed divorce paperwork and had me served, do I need to meet up with her this weekend? Can it be held against me if I'm not meeting her because I'm waiting on legal advice? The paperwork she filed contains nothing about the financial assistance I had offered and followed through on. She texted me the following day asking if I had her check.

I'm terrified not meeting her and not giving her another check is somehow going to bite me in the ass.",7.1407954545454535,7.774021034090907,6.8912121212121225,75.0443181818182,64.0378787878788,10.236363636363636,38.84848484848485,10.125756701596842,4.088989393939393,1139,59,198,24,16,359,139,264,0.097,0.81,0.093,-0.457,4,0,0,0,5,0,38.0,5,0,0,1,4,6,1,0,11,0,22,1,1,0,0,26,47,13,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,8,13,0,3,0,3,6,8,7,1,0,0,15,0,35,5,31,31,5,35,0,0,0,1,40,13,1,4,14,134,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131255606607221,0.23813252920248698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14084586369587065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25114148029965194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08188001142131315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27389566851893266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17325012344869986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745563588230722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317009758080827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017647284984291,0.257703293636986,0.2290108560546659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13473355986766294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459386918321876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13462357550168128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3216379874388412,0.14276052998516742,0.0,0.19919263579608693,0.0,0.12972675416264742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888332599516447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13665137198674032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435599797005346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950721390187046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4572730383390893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13196837332688913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216555553061844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,StrictlyFeelz,2018/01/20,"Never imagined any of this Marriage was barely on my radar. I never imagined it for myself growing up--never wanted a big wedding, always saw myself as this independent woman with no attachments... but then it short notice happened, literally on a whim with my long term partner, and I just kind of rolled with it. 

But I was also terrified of the prospect of divorce. That's part of why I never wanted marriage. Every woman preceding me in my family ended up divorced and a life-long bachelorette. Why not skip all the heartache and just embrace single life from the start?

Another thing that messed with me was infidelity. Even in my youth or in movies dramatic or comical, I've never been able to stomach or empathize with an adulterous character. I'd shut down, and literally have walked out of classes because of it. 

Somewhere along the lines I discovered that my truth was that if I married, I would only marry one person, and that divorce was never an option so I'd better be sure of my choice. I'm loyal in nature, so it's not hard to imagine this for myself, then again, not everyone is like that. 

And it turns out my spouse wasn't. And now I find myself dealing with these foundational issues in MY life which I have never been able to digest--an unfaithful partner, and feeling like I have no way out but divorce. I feel disgusting. Degenerated. I feel like a used and dirtied paper towel that has no place to be but in a trash bin. I know that I'm a good and strong person, but I feel spiritually broken because every day I am living is me just playing along with these circumstances that I can't relate to and don't identify with. 

I'm writing all this here hoping that there's anybody out there that knows what I'm talking about. I'm not Catholic but my perspective on these issues leans closely to Catholicism...i.e. From here forward if I love again I am an adulterer also. It is hard to live with myself, and I know I'm just trying to move on with life and this mess didn't start with me...but that doesn't suddenly magically make it ok. 

TL;DR Have to go against foundational beliefs to move forward, and feel like garbage because of it. Can't relate to my own circumstances, I wish there was someone who understood how damning this is on my self-image.",5.575406516925025,6.55979252293578,6.241338184118947,77.09334862385323,67.57798165137615,8.766086681429929,31.31888642834546,8.939507131559953,2.6597746915533063,1804,71,323,30,29,590,204,436,0.093,0.789,0.118,0.8771,1,0,0,0,4,0,55.0,0,0,0,2,19,19,2,0,13,1,28,5,1,4,10,86,56,33,0,7,19,1,7,4,2,1,3,0,0,6,34,32,0,0,14,2,0,7,19,4,0,1,12,8,39,15,57,41,6,50,1,0,1,1,19,24,1,7,26,235,73,2,0.18695657131851173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14950910253786506,0.0777814220578346,0.0,0.0,0.06356843975529591,0.0980201330356028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095048591141046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267394723330326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028576098459485,0.09637200789694357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08279401526895329,0.0,0.0,0.06174152606322963,0.0,0.1575189747066488,0.0893225078713445,0.0,0.0,0.08812300836517115,0.0,0.23632714968768845,0.2003427178584511,0.0,0.0,0.08543745959062722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05312586394809349,0.07840515096376033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266253929170073,0.0,0.16747636588838127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09284502976265463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19513408761438908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09734324968795828,0.15411966338988065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26410591056987803,0.1826750744100824,0.0,0.16508607767741407,0.16545068243667932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436780244341928,0.0,0.06239748154833742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19870524805180395,0.0,0.0,0.4325772999236017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10642564779296852,0.0,0.0,0.06334330559975958,0.07109444853674192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012278739765362,0.0,0.0,0.16324326682420184,0.09766491267501624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751823879917962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920384809058485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232882343943428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08810217796377906,0.0,0.0,0.07513430511838237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06210281932893826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634656198868098,0.10167753183181401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073522545787055,0.0,0.0,0.11027182964139494,0.07419871210027007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16869922638048995,0.0,0.10749541521407367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640429210929544,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mlevine1125,2018/01/20,"6 months post-separation The threads I (33 y/o F) read and the feedback I received 6 months ago helped me tremendously through the hardest time of separation and the beginning of my divorce process. I thought my life and world were falling apart. Now 6 months later, I feel differently. I still feel groundless and have my moments of missing my STB EX-wife (36 y/o F). Like today when I went to look at a rental only to discover it was right around the corner from her (NO THANKS). 

Things that have helped:

- Great friends: Lean into your people or find new people.
- Working out: Try something new! I started xfit bootcamp, orange theory fitness, and making gym dates with friends
-Start a gratitude list: Some days are harder than others but try to find 3-5 things to be grateful for each day no matter how small.
-Read: Some books that have helped me are Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends, When Things Fall Apart, and The Language of Letting Go
-Journal: When it feels like too much to hold inside, write and write some more.
-Find a great therapist: Or if you have one increase how often you go. This is the perfect time to look deeper within and access all the support you can get.
-Date (but not too soon): It can help to reconnect with the part of you that feels desirable just go forward w caution bc we are all more vulnerable than usual during this time.

What are some things that have helped you?",3.163044541010322,5.887677448669201,3.2382332971211305,88.57577471482891,78.69581749049429,5.8864204236827815,24.982210755024447,7.1686216300943375,1.1737366648560559,1111,41,207,14,28,338,162,263,0.03,0.8079999999999999,0.161,0.9886,2,0,1,0,1,0,47.0,1,7,0,2,14,10,0,0,12,0,16,1,0,3,3,46,35,19,0,2,7,0,4,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,15,15,0,1,8,4,0,9,3,1,0,1,4,6,22,9,24,29,12,49,0,1,2,0,21,13,0,8,31,130,37,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942708403779615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467202109201238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13717096767747206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111073627478253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941925174938724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21509041791412584,0.0759748350383018,0.0,0.0,0.2915996783455884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643279749992276,0.0,0.05556229627654582,0.0,0.18131958643577248,0.0,0.0,0.2344974815706912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3564131873071079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087477527301159,0.07511654230313923,0.10391225190716408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17861060704640164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07098793135256111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25465721524801344,0.0,0.07817781342251669,0.0,0.0,0.20542258842796127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07206396985872973,0.08088223606212035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516422122334086,0.0,0.14745624232957322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10185172204870692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21275300574642111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11417765569579455,0.0,0.0908203749391024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08187167335996495,0.0,0.0,0.15054693236307448,0.0,0.08492942949689344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068213654186072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09791069568698413,0.0,0.12347790392961308,0.2826108083806559,0.0,0.0,0.08442821343705355,0.18603663869112544,0.0,0.10080520712512443,0.0,0.0,0.1444062470464446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712699292800108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858540529326894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07742240942619398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,VisitationThrowaway9,2018/01/20,"Summer Custody question I'm looking for some objective feedback.

My ex and I separated three years ago, when our son was two and a half. I moved to a city two hours away (but within the same state) shortly thereafter with my ex's consent, to be closer to family. I was struggling with my husband's infidelity (which was the reason for our separation) and desperately needed family support.

For the first year and a half, my ex had unlimited access to our son but only saw him when I drove him to his city once a month. So that three days was the only time they saw each other and he didn't seem to want more time than that or to make effort to see him more.

After a year and a half, my ex wanted more time with our son so we changed it so that every two weeks, our son would spend four days there.

This last September my son started kindergarten and because of his school schedule, visitation changed to every other weekend. My ex also told me that as soon as their house sells, he, his gf (affair partner) and their baby are moving to the other side of the country.

We are currently working out our summer parenting schedules, and my ex is demanding that because I have our son for the majority of the time during the school year, he spend his entire two month summer vacation with him.

I even feel that one month would be too long but I understand that he doesn't see him very much so I would be fine with him being with his dad for a month. I think that two months is far too long for a five-year-old to be away from his mom, and my son is very very resistant to the idea.

I'm also concerned that this sets precedent - if I agree to this, I'll lose every summer with my son. Because my ex will be living across the country, there's no way to separate it into smaller chunks of time without spending thousands on airfare - which neither of us can afford.

If anyone has been in a similar situation or has input into this, I'd really appreciate your advice.

Edited to add: Forgot to mention that he'll also have our son for every spring break/school break and alternating major holidays.",7.773190709046452,6.444303207823964,7.907260391198047,74.79512041564796,63.376528117359406,10.52718826405868,33.65293398533007,9.3871,2.881648312958436,1648,54,314,24,20,538,198,409,0.035,0.923,0.042,0.5862,3,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,11,1,3,4,15,4,0,1,20,0,28,0,0,2,0,50,49,29,0,8,8,20,1,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,21,25,0,1,7,2,4,4,5,2,0,14,12,6,49,2,50,26,10,59,0,1,5,0,59,13,0,7,38,224,70,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07777572708134085,0.07055291228764599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19094747491310102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05565210892786074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14955735012107588,0.0,0.0,0.14555440913342532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683941486266716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10265964758730073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256932320032398,0.0,0.2682365150176959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500632460360411,0.0,0.040243768190052334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06770034512688257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838142816262153,0.0918377093456474,0.0,0.08984892432784351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487755733108587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028060307749874,0.14087164592952725,0.06683667209321885,0.08904234023825859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053127831194867935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09321640442411296,0.31764520359237763,0.16918597696691628,0.05850878586766281,0.059015963122435774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08351771273437415,0.08476216948114516,0.053933145436678716,0.12106558684828495,0.0,0.0,0.08837675360334271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916050557444148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098824441811685,0.08183314374732499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416520271572917,0.12684797148613186,0.07245695811312873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08946399031105527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056335153434514465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320613984639229,0.0,0.0,0.09031929873528652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05099891087466254,0.0,0.0,0.2320517245707419,0.0,0.0,0.07605292717487082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887458244900645,0.08285738206642825,0.0957385708583061,0.0,0.0,0.19701354960567935,0.09389005782547266,0.06317589353804277,0.06384336451130546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767232024499544,0.0,0.057943436585948416,0.0,0.0,0.1696181929585273,0.0,0.0,0.2562710369264767
divorce,draggedownbythestone,2018/01/20,"What to expect? My wife and I have been married a year and one week as of today. I want a divorce as life is unbearable the last year. She and I jointly bought our new house together. She makes considerably less that I do and would barely be able to support herself without me. If and when we divorce would there be any way to get my name off the house, and also her car i cosigned for? I can remove it from the cable, utilities, etc, but those two things I think I am screwed on. I am willing and able to involve a lawyer, and I am from Michigan. Any help or advice would be great.",2.992035480859009,4.196233226890758,3.9448179271708703,90.33041083099907,73.87394957983193,6.633426704014939,26.66760037348273,6.937597516519254,1.0371000933706809,450,16,98,4,9,145,81,119,0.036000000000000004,0.857,0.107,0.8053,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,2,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,6,0,15,2,0,1,0,22,21,15,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,1,2,1,1,0,2,2,0,19,2,13,12,2,12,0,0,0,1,12,2,1,2,7,76,24,1,0.3552465598078546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17357141338752954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14204527276564716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415798425929487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19809690968645224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09280083261928038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958302931593432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905714038155435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4099068337021411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478668018506574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546057554059895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856491860324413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154967057192766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12036213138951635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20156479310387854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800501456238235,0.11381382564874146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836610040394334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17351213479411864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047668125478308,0.14098909190459905,0.1424786810678503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17122250332586114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3785354453486484,0.0,0.0,0.22876713730028414
divorce,DBdad70,2018/01/20,"Talking to kids about divorce/cheating? Hi everyone, new to the sub.

47/m here, separated and navigating a nasty divorce. Quick background is that we should have separated many, many years ago, dead bedroom, no love, basically roommates in a house raising three kids. I had an affair- and love my girlfriend. Wife discovered affair after the separation, and now is making life hell. We have a 14 yo daughter, and two sons- 12 and 9.  We are seeking shared custody, as I am living apart and neither of us intend on moving out of our town. Also, I have a very good relationship with my kids, all three of them. 

She is demanding that I tell the kids what REALLY happened- not only that we aren’t getting along and will divorce, but that I was a bad person and cheated. I feel that this is too much for them to know and they can learn this information in time, when they are ready. I am already moved out, kids know we don’t get along, and are moving towards divorce. My daughter already knows that I cheated and is having a hard time.  I just feel it is inappropriate for the 12 and 9 year old sons to know at this point. Why give little people big people problems? Also, I feel my wife is trying to use it against me and paint me as the bad guy/father.

Questions for divorced parents out there who may have had infidelity: 

- When is it appropriate to tell your kids about the real reason of divorce?  (Note- the real reason is we haven’t then along in 10 years, not the infidelity, as the affair happened on the way out of the marriage).

- if appropriate, in any measure, How do I tell them? Do I simplify? 

- and I would be open to hearing any other tips or advice on communication with kids during a divorce, given the circumstances.

Thank you.",4.30188008366256,6.051787936555892,5.239048338368581,80.1761091099233,71.44712990936556,7.3883801998605625,28.742853822914253,8.012643519586192,1.9614093887985131,1361,53,251,19,26,445,180,331,0.105,0.85,0.046,-0.9675,2,0,0,0,7,0,56.0,8,2,5,0,13,11,3,0,20,0,33,3,0,6,1,59,52,26,1,4,6,7,4,0,1,4,1,1,1,8,15,30,0,0,12,0,0,3,7,6,0,3,4,5,35,5,40,43,3,37,1,0,0,2,56,19,1,4,14,181,50,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10124493631236198,0.0918426015322727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22866890727130315,0.16571121147145398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409145394412672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17301738442690515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09900227303739087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571625711622109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826223287467043,0.09939062500331763,0.0,0.08690181621895844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10258861233261424,0.1832411444763395,0.0,0.09281278200827747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11677420484622505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955019107759632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277618838219045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07318168200866207,0.0,0.103842842832592,0.09148812167495432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18702126512387454,0.0,0.06915941628051687,0.21008532566048396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33035801989441604,0.07616410056430452,0.0,0.0,0.10006564521476301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087195944552535,0.0,0.0,0.0787988623832099,0.0,0.0,0.11504487487086933,0.0,0.0,0.14365804795442602,0.09046686472867176,0.0,0.0,0.09794343391869197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913925298629704,0.0,0.0,0.1160651278646548,0.0,0.0,0.2358581001236035,0.06637419864159487,0.2130533969363812,0.0,0.11123665487561914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327651302086934,0.2716749436269681,0.09538870104131922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082979076887335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07034330739539085,0.0,0.10121035885921208,0.0,0.12462815679046492,0.0894843978857834,0.0,0.08548778661856131,0.0,0.08223953099205705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349047216281704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07360043974278271,0.0,0.0,0.2001612517374884
divorce,bikeandbeer,2018/01/20,"Afraid to tell daughter [Repost] ***Note: This is essentially a repost of something I posted yesterday but ended up deleting (don’t ask). Apologies for the repeat.***

47, male, married 19 years, two kids (son, 17 / daughter, 15)

My STBXW and I met at our 10 year high school reunion. Dated six months. Married January 1999. Son born January 2001. We decided I would become a stay home parent. A year later we decided I needed to get a job to help us qualify for a home loan. Worked that job for a year until our daughter was born January 2003. I went back to being a stay-home dad because my salary was barely covering the cost for a nanny for our two kids. I freelanced graphic design from home whenever I could.

We never had a perfect marriage but we rarely argued, always agreed on finances, mostly agreed on child rearing. Took some awesome vacations and had a lot of fun along the way. Well, 19 years later we are different people - of course. She ended up buying the business she worked for in 2014 and dove headlong into running it. Worked longer hours, traveled more, checked email constantly and worried about every aspect of it - things most business owners do. She’s changed a lot in the last four years and I really haven’t.

I became aware that things were not good January 2017 when we had a deep talk about not being connected to each other any more. She told me “work was more important” and that she wasn’t “physically attracted to me any more” (I’m fit and active FWIW). That started a year of unknowns. I didn’t know where our relationship stood on a day-to-day basis or how I was supposed to act. Barely survived a vacation that had us in a deep discussion late at night in the hotel room that left me sobbing. That woke up our daughter who knew what was being discussed and ended up crying for the next hour.

September 2017 I was told she “had no feelings more me any more” which caused even more uncertainty for me. I suffered rollercoasting emotions daily. Angry. Sad. Upbeat. She finally agreed to marriage counseling (I had been asking for years) and we went to our first session on Halloween. Definitely a bad omen. Counseling gave us a few tools to communicate better but at this point it was too little too late. For her the damage had been done and she had been trying to deal with things for over two years. Maybe she should have communicated more. I definitely should have been more responsive.

We have decided to divorce and, thankfully, things are very friendly. We have not yet told our kids because my wife and daughter have a trip coming up and breaking the news now would completely ruin that trip for a whole bunch of people. The waiting is brutal for me. Faking it every day. My son will be bummed but will recover quickly. My daughter will be crushed.

How did you tell your kids? How did they react? How long did it take for them to “recover?”",3.608433605500643,6.145571802607076,4.214781191806331,83.23808927804042,75.85288640595904,6.96130926801318,25.969381177481733,8.012643519586192,1.7957397507520412,2266,84,403,38,52,718,273,537,0.121,0.774,0.105,-0.8894,6,0,1,0,1,0,78.0,19,2,2,8,16,18,2,1,30,0,51,0,0,6,2,62,74,24,0,6,8,12,1,0,1,7,0,0,4,6,23,27,0,1,6,2,5,9,9,10,1,6,37,1,59,8,57,24,18,80,0,5,0,0,75,27,1,6,40,281,82,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06094129270717514,0.0,0.0,0.1494165107132691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693845494217788,0.0,0.0,0.05631680404471597,0.06115208545620985,0.08929247563010434,0.08088748812415739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647745577839407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523734077431693,0.07747788525620629,0.063089511491598,0.07679042595443986,0.07914609058229015,0.0,0.058475936272804674,0.0,0.08045036503823268,0.1417006314247608,0.07550690880476472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651989219383731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494963547383304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238479821302575,0.19460589117884572,0.0,0.0,0.048374127297508916,0.0,0.12341520237820199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037032190008203014,0.0,0.0,0.08023050509867324,0.0,0.06229764649572131,0.0,0.0,0.0565848060815449,0.0,0.0382647173771656,0.0,0.0,0.061429980684590664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04909102321445349,0.07738175809000128,0.2203961547306699,0.0,0.14425269160306928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535819090192267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04025062056416842,0.059700125967496576,0.16523513037117327,0.0,0.07957514207504694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07340541437438287,0.0,0.06481482467290504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453153791258953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357911693589106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584592251852545,0.0,0.0,0.05430630525317864,0.05648696727247263,0.0,0.07789124569756795,0.06873049163991549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08132401310660843,0.0,0.0,0.10155036448019772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06923518420660046,0.0,0.07014338174890282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04691922353193397,0.0,0.0,0.07863202241033278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412248063927816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05638349478434183,0.0,0.0,0.051839432537132316,0.15612753839105215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05506713526695845,0.05886729195006207,0.12802944185072967,0.06742927038178609,0.0,0.0,0.19462879389639196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20995099935865472,0.08137199512501223,0.049724944800939336,0.0,0.214633617350526,0.0,0.26429500317132115,0.0,0.0,0.06043041801928373,0.0,0.058134260250935064,0.0,0.0,0.0658512808445445,0.13578786061268885,0.0,0.08176950306516248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2132774787137857,0.07437846462777409,0.0,0.10405475486000633,0.0,0.0,0.424475656425519
divorce,ocdrmr73,2018/01/20,"Served papers from dying Spouse via his sister... He moved out while I was at work 14 months ago. Things were not in a great state obviously but not once mentioned he was thinking of leaving.  Repeatedly told me he didn’t want a divorce even after he moved out but didn’t make any steps to reconcile either. He is now on hospice care and dying of stage 4 cancer. Now all of a sudden I receive divorce papers from his sister saying he asked her to. 
Why now that’s he dying? And I am not sure he even knows she did this? There is no docket number, needed to file in NJ and my copies do not have his signature. There a couple of discrepancies and states reason for divorce as mutual. I want that changed as he left me without discussing divorce ever, and left me in an apartment with my two kids that his name was on lease for and that I could not afford on my own. 
I can’t afford a lawyer but seriously want any advice or opinions on the situation. We had contact until a couple of months, basically until the sister got involved. Last time I saw him, at his request, we hugged and talked about his cancer and cried together...things were amicable.",5.023854166666666,5.921054272321433,5.774178571428571,80.26248809523811,68.77678571428572,7.937619047619048,26.98690476190476,8.021203637495839,1.639130119047619,903,27,171,11,15,295,131,224,0.11,0.831,0.059,-0.9408,2,0,0,0,4,0,24.0,2,0,0,1,9,5,0,0,9,0,16,3,0,2,4,40,28,17,3,5,11,4,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,6,13,0,0,4,0,0,4,10,1,0,1,12,2,24,4,31,15,3,36,0,0,1,1,40,14,0,2,15,117,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13007929702037946,0.11799919560403885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104672587198292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444537819933005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357205110654281,0.0,0.14081895018990995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10628219820505247,0.2945803779735268,0.14622154321347414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4144598005337529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17584356619600958,0.12041093421921248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064649293654459,0.14676072731278664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315700620370978,0.10850720869765637,0.0,0.1409504961896756,0.28926158557801945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885588336343282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2125036503585687,0.2829622271039163,0.0,0.0987037380945142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14176406745125525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368652947530398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585909041993616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14962782612278575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12546014125825788,0.0,0.0,0.10699350176528788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843627553393638,0.08529528072997758,0.0,0.0,0.07762093994430949,0.0,0.0,0.12719792761182322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13003487197590494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355455842868677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201163765812722,0.0,0.0,0.1283189577823522,0.0,0.09690994582618777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,yawi918,2018/01/20,"Question on splitting house items I’m in the middle of a divorce and my ex is being unresponsive. Even with lawyers involved, he won’t response. Our house sold so items need to be out of the house soon. What do I do to split items fair since he’s not being responsive? ",3.898333333333333,5.2002912407407385,4.3157407407407415,88.16583333333334,71.77777777777777,6.881481481481483,28.314814814814817,7.1686216300943375,1.3559037037037038,213,8,44,2,4,67,43,54,0.041,0.914,0.045,0.049,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,0,0,6,10,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,8,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,7,4,0,1,1,30,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17106392845713686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8965372798108041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920417056718577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29013396822073617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424355779670035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,janineB2,2018/01/20,"Ex repeatedly evicted. We are not confident the child has food to eat her other house. Who has experience in this? Advice? This is my boyfriend’s ex.  He never Reddits.  

His ex won’t get a job, she is very angry and hostile, always withholding, brings the cops for every exchange.  She doesn’t ask for help or take advice.  She can’t budget.  She will have her second eviction since September later this month.
She gets 1200/month in support and alimony.  500 of this is alimony and ends in May.

Sigh.  What to do? Ex is reaching a point where no one will rent to her.  We seriously think the child has very little food while at mom’s.  Mom says she has applied for food stamps.  Parenting schedule is 50/50.

What would you do?  Send food home with the child?  Co-sign on the next apartment? (scary idea!)  Modify and ask for full Or increased custody?  Modifying would better meet the needs of the child, but emotionally it would be a mess.  

We are really torn about how to help, or if we can.  Any ideas I haven’t already come up with?

I know someone here a few months ago has an ex who is basically homeless...hopefully he is still around and might have some insight.",1.8605705705705693,4.543920072072076,2.8184684684684704,89.50025525525524,84.76576576576576,5.991591591591593,21.735735735735737,7.3871296695380915,0.923269069069069,904,30,179,15,27,286,142,222,0.08199999999999999,0.8590000000000001,0.059,-0.7379,6,0,0,0,0,0,40.0,4,1,0,1,6,6,1,0,12,0,31,5,0,1,1,34,42,12,0,5,6,8,0,0,0,8,0,1,2,4,10,13,5,1,5,0,3,4,7,3,1,2,0,1,18,2,20,33,4,27,0,0,0,0,38,12,0,7,11,114,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140275254110986,0.09707569311231716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084910649442833,0.0,0.09112267486596047,0.0,0.0,0.07447184834511224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974888102090105,0.2047576897704024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09685437748906586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943348062983294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11205801491368374,0.0,0.12318614929183196,0.0969950398771384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09226850022580448,0.0,0.0,0.10712365335623436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5296889039706858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443089719646855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14680703833121292,0.0,0.1098493662621097,0.0,0.0,0.12636203098503884,0.0,0.24725121392469634,0.0,0.0,0.10867366427805213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06018487708236664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10975969511474526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11617482147232168,0.0,0.2565180309500378,0.262234064925475,0.0,0.0,0.08120168734416043,0.08446232963364173,0.0,0.11646714963380585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420809864867564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160000675922795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352414429502473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07015612831528202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708825956100859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09058937658799192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927890787638836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745634600253349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427280805078318,0.0,0.0,0.08233932100590513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017080458630548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071757550810644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333823383331974,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,titania7,2018/01/20,"Telling our 15 year old tomorrow The love of my life (41, M) and I (40, F) are telling our 15 year old son that we are separating tomorrow. 

I feel like I have a hole the size of a watermelon in my chest. 

If you went through this and talked to teens about divorce and separation, or were a teen when your own parents divorced, is there any advice you would give me for how to talk to him? He is extremely sensitive and family oriented, and I’m nervous about his reaction. I don’t want him to hurt more than he has to.

If you are the praying type, please keep me and my family in yours? I only found out that my husband of 18 years and partner of 25 was unhappy and wanted out in September. I kind of feel like I’m falling apart. ",4.581533333333333,4.492999953333339,5.8566666666666665,82.75833333333338,69.46666666666667,10.133333333333336,31.333333333333336,9.994966539143718,2.744133333333333,563,22,126,13,9,190,97,150,0.064,0.8340000000000001,0.102,0.6966,1,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,3,5,0,0,5,6,0,1,6,0,11,3,1,1,0,22,22,13,0,5,3,3,2,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,11,0,1,3,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,4,2,23,4,20,17,2,16,1,1,0,1,25,6,0,3,10,79,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518482387549902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11495361756803572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3187134572297177,0.0,0.1709443295491877,0.24152572418949575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18534463611805965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215944702060306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809617936610773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502513305242439,0.0,0.17603009827730007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11939859605637995,0.16516970310884208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15256602387080662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547600051127488,0.0,0.0,0.12856323168797248,0.0,0.0,0.18769992935442276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18555616055051552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717373655879005,0.29549841765882257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19940942049106128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15670261999231555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008181464564162,0.0,0.0,0.32657041743745346
divorce,rogueengineer,2018/01/20,"in explainable emotion How do you all deal with the emotion.  Now don't get me wrong, when I feel the need to cry I do.  I cried in front of close friends ( rough weekend) but recently I have, mixed/no describable emotion. I want to cry but I don't want to. I want to punch her in the face, but I don't, I want to drink my sorrows away, but I have no sorrows worth drinking away and I don't want to drink.

its like the English language fails to have the right word or feeling for what is going on.

the human mind/emotion is silly some times.

I am seeing a therapist (this week actually) and i have been doing hobbies (working out, round is not a shape for me, upgrading my home network, working on a business plan, studying for professional tests and joining volunteer ambulance corps, think EMT or EMS) but holy crap and a half, emotions suck.",3.5392539388322533,5.0827367530120515,4.317710843373494,86.85013438368863,73.03614457831327,7.2763670064874875,30.239110287303056,7.882392219407189,1.9550153846153844,655,29,133,9,13,210,99,166,0.16699999999999998,0.7190000000000001,0.114,-0.943,0,0,3,0,0,0,27.0,0,1,0,4,3,9,2,0,10,0,16,5,2,1,1,29,30,13,0,6,8,0,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,7,3,0,4,4,1,2,6,6,0,1,1,5,19,3,20,29,2,19,0,3,2,0,6,11,2,3,7,87,22,6,0.0,0.0,0.1099321588671961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116806345295647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37122898967510104,0.0,0.11613932580567675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310683908085352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6335920164496096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139205312134038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08703470097216966,0.0,0.058856051037919625,0.0,0.06402276092839783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1129991997896418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503610552084818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137464656198749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08353007398845405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11123031734945472,0.0,0.0,0.09620424246136136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976910553454838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307977226060831,0.0,0.07218289041311361,0.0,0.0,0.0656883212507417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322255141660335,0.0,0.09036268628265136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16402408057387316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316734158246645,0.0,0.0
divorce,pretzelchamp,2018/01/20,"Publicly dating after divorce I deleted all social media during the divorce (and also because my Ex was slandering me all over Twitter and I didn’t have enough self control to not look-so I just deleted it all). 

So basically the only people who know I’m divorced are the ones I’ve personally told and also my Ex’s 13 twitter followers. 

My question: How do you handle going out to dinner or a bar with a date and having acquaintances see you/wonder/ask where your Ex is? Most people I know will assume I’m still married because we had been together and seemingly happy for 10 years. 

I always thought social media “IM DIVORCED!” posts were tacky but now I’m wondering if that could have cut down on some awkward run ins that I am sure to have. ",4.390702194357367,5.9606560827586215,5.6640125391849505,77.93269592476491,70.93103448275863,7.479623824451412,29.733542319749212,8.00094639256281,2.2430689655172418,592,24,102,8,11,198,104,145,0.034,0.924,0.042,0.2598,1,0,0,0,4,0,12.0,1,2,0,1,8,4,1,1,5,0,15,2,0,2,4,29,27,12,0,2,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,8,2,1,7,1,0,3,2,2,0,1,7,1,13,2,11,18,6,16,0,0,1,0,18,6,0,8,6,72,17,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27469235375240725,0.14290743199307748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16056045144068876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093910027461602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19262909309003973,0.13712616708495692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17746077250877124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760789386944536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828280921351388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18551645213684032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18877554332797467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422439560370798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11638035018803787,0.13062148776086085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23813577233351715,0.14996303381198994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448634598566025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923961745171858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368602852908941,0.15635220402018524,0.17916979029923413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3501492913995587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371575388574209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186970709328372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634809551592325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411181335285888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3725050326816853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11059956833250703
divorce,Trytosurvive,2018/01/20,"EX/STBXW told daughter that she was part of the reason for divorce I am at a bit of a loss what to do - My daughter (under 10) recently told me that mum told her one reason why she left me was that we had different ideas about parenting styles and daughter was part of the reason of the divorce. Daughter went on to say that mum said I was also lazy, an idiot, a coward, and a crybaby.  The second part didn't really worry me but was upset what damage it could to a young child when a parent states that they were part responsible for a divorce. I didnt pursue anything or make a big deal out of it and just said to daughter that when mum gets stressed she states things that are not true. There is no point discussing with STBXW about it as it will just cause more drama and conflict. Daughter didn't seem to upset about it and just dropped the news casually as not a big deal. Apparently, the daughter's retort to mum was "" that is my dad your talking about and everyone is different"" I am uncertain if daughter was effected or just wants mum and dad to get back together so downplayed it? I dont know what else to say besides the usual ""when mum is stressed she says silly things"". I never say anything negative about daughters mum and going into mums mental health issues as daughter is too young to understand but uncertain if i am doing her or myself any favors by ignoring stupid ""trash"" talk?  ",7.436043956043957,6.545910241758246,7.402545787545787,76.7216208791209,63.798534798534796,10.290842490842493,33.785714285714285,9.424239791934726,2.9278175824175827,1108,39,210,17,14,356,141,273,0.165,0.785,0.05,-0.9868,5,0,0,0,3,1,23.0,1,1,1,2,17,15,2,6,17,0,26,1,0,6,2,44,40,23,0,4,13,22,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,1,19,12,0,2,8,2,0,2,9,11,0,2,18,6,22,4,31,20,6,23,0,2,0,0,49,9,0,8,9,154,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956725245788096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766097860940919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16375415477035954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650660671226794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862432311014322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221023259997346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07943979660143502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20515288372537654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790516781068444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166090651798881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08311649319855699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09507309472572552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396554751247718,0.0,0.05654610932776391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576004356672844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11231934931293616,0.0,0.10384841423564918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05468063129048409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081031532608726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641463406330242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026899122949837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07673777414734702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06742135030736765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22095800330112614,0.43097971522774575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940562785583498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373995546964037,0.3068966777296126,0.09824071305575824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892877629081196,0.3164941920056327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09057780545892727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279456297062952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599429097526079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220200295538104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852192841771766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357928388231748,0.0,0.0,0.10958125171466278,0.0,0.058685567361005185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09223417969480796,0.08978004487362988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10104344587134577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ijustcant37,2018/01/21,"I don't know how to tell him I can't do this anymore After 10+ years of marriage and 2 kids I just can't do it anymore. He's an alcoholic. Hes a different person come around 9:30 every night. He does and says things that he would do if he wasn't drinking. I've begged him to slow it down, just don't get shit faced, it lasts for a few days then he's right back to it. Our kids are young enough now that they don't see it but that won't be the case much longer. 

I've stayed to try and keep the family together for the kids. I don't want to crush him. I just feel like I'm slowly dying inside watching him drink himself to death. I've started an antidepressant to try and cope, I just want off this hamster wheel. 

With some personal issues in his family and financial issues hes having I can never seem to find the right time. I want to have as peaceful of a separation as possible. Keep the drama to a minimum for the kids. ",1.2573255164712478,2.9445273316582963,3.1307118927973216,92.30808347292015,79.7035175879397,6.633277498604133,20.10078168620882,7.594959193182576,0.4556496929089882,725,18,168,11,18,243,114,199,0.052000000000000005,0.887,0.062,0.4270000000000001,1,0,3,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,1,0,8,2,1,0,12,0,19,5,2,1,1,27,32,11,2,5,6,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,0,6,11,8,3,2,4,3,0,1,9,1,0,0,1,4,18,1,23,28,4,21,0,0,2,0,24,6,1,3,14,101,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848619211827446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2755852358508449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368737850316786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683742522831197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11968578617001174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960576315509101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14419932487124856,0.1451642791065776,0.0,0.0,0.12158862938905733,0.0,0.0,0.2722195184530633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14356369488013807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170641931815668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619633322071334,0.0,0.07025298928363548,0.09925982428287908,0.0,0.0,0.12698999968842895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259119104875754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900376233573265,0.0,0.2469951507840895,0.0,0.0,0.07635860624305046,0.11325585413385453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06787979111730573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213797791369528,0.0,0.10716023831102213,0.0,0.0,0.13038717104142136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426366900709873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15663564742302696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373105371855244,0.0,0.1104918451708523,0.0,0.0,0.11071837432545514,0.12648710920426948,0.0,0.0,0.14262143718821652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09834349785130687,0.14809313571567542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12144098153980065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230654849781604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101789694508355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886642952229371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2458538622092784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870004415715174,0.0,0.0,0.0894737606373162
divorce,Octoprognus,2018/01/21,"New here, totally heart broken My spouse told me last week they didn’t love me, but wanted to wait a year to see what would happen. Mind you, they didn’t say, work in our marriage for a year, they said wait. 

So now, we are getting divorced. I gave them my heart for ten years. Ten years of “I’ll love you forever” and now, nothing. A MONTH ago they were promising me they loved me. 

I feel like they ripped out my heart and ten year later just threw it out a window on the highway. 

Someone please tell me I won’t feel alone and empty forever. The broken vows, the promises. It’s killing me. ",1.883295454545454,3.781463708333334,2.529545454545456,96.35727272727276,78.58333333333334,5.363636363636363,20.909090909090907,6.11248444174946,-0.049750000000000405,455,12,102,3,11,141,77,120,0.125,0.6829999999999999,0.192,0.8845,0,1,0,0,1,0,18.0,2,2,7,1,5,7,1,0,7,0,6,6,3,0,1,16,21,5,1,2,2,1,2,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,3,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,3,7,5,23,6,9,12,1,18,0,0,1,3,22,4,0,0,14,61,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765648214620776,0.0,0.0,0.1491512866288581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14563191536316242,0.10288101955751096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07523946168498717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734787287180008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5119588581902612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593261103224216,0.0,0.0,0.11738765233898847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035618053883512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38992487789870256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454093961603951,0.0,0.11494768379198207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908608901195452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13818181043090988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808011379886372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13698681655144646,0.11452280684652255,0.0,0.0,0.11475760023401255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201949836072648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587138942814546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13760805649642546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08494103292035607,0.0,0.1155164125424542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104841246635814,0.0,0.0,0.10230081754245668,0.0,0.0,0.4636897044960588
divorce,My_New_Throwaway_Now,2018/01/21,"Need Custody Advice I’m going to try to keep this as short and simple as possible. My STBXW and I are in the process of getting a divorce (papers were filed on Friday).  Before I get into the custody stuff, I should probably provide a little bit of a backstory.

We separated a little over a month ago due to the fact that we no longer have the same direction in life.  We work different schedules and hardly got to spend any time together as a family.  We have a 3yo son who is my world and I would do anything for.  About the last 6 months of our marriage, she was staying out late with friends from work drinking.  She was also taking drugs (adderall and Xanax), although I think she is clean now.  It became a cycle of adderall to wake up and Xanax to fall asleep.  There were many mornings where I would get my son out of bed and wake her up to come downstairs and watch him.  There were multiple times where she would just go back to sleep on the couch while he was just running around unsupervised by her.  He had some supervision because I have a family member that has been staying with us and he would at least make sure my son was okay.  About 3 months ago, a former friend of hers contacted her and they started hanging out more.  I now know that she was cheating on me with him for the last 2 weeks we were together.  The night she left, she was out with a mutual friend and I had an family emergency.  I was trying to get in contact with her so she could come home and watch our son so I could take care of the emergency.  She got home, decided I ruined her night and left, leaving me in the house with our son.  Since leaving she has been staying at her parents when she has our son (which has been minimal) and at her AP’s apartment when I have him. It has been extremely hard to get anything done because she seems more worried about herself than our son and we haven’t been able to get any sort of custody arrangement set up for the time being.

Now to get to the main reason I’m making this post.  Her AP is an unemployed drug dealer and I want my son nowhere near him.  I don’t want to be petty during this whole situation, but I feel like almost have to.  She is not the best mother, but not horrible either.  I guess my question is, do I try to get full custody of my son knowing that her AP is a drug dealer or do I just go along with the joint custody that she filed for?

TL;DR:  My STBXW’s AP is an unemployed drug dealer, should I try to get full custody of my son?",4.1630248732759645,4.972070376753512,4.842440763880706,86.48507573971473,70.68336673346694,7.954756571967462,27.101320287634092,8.124751697461798,1.5380641989862078,1934,62,406,26,34,622,223,499,0.039,0.913,0.048,0.5457,6,0,5,0,1,0,44.0,12,0,1,3,20,10,1,0,29,1,52,12,4,3,2,76,86,29,0,11,9,12,3,1,3,6,7,0,5,0,13,38,1,1,8,1,1,8,5,2,0,0,21,5,73,8,69,55,12,70,0,1,2,0,66,32,0,7,26,287,86,6,0.07351790147971911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07184084246176481,0.13033836769084958,0.0,0.0736175586930723,0.0,0.0,0.05879223925204515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999893880849442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099793757327144,0.06544651901719581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056530728248669886,0.0,0.0896316607470914,0.0,0.06255831930993817,0.0,0.07715250190888759,0.0,0.08026250744630874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495640026986045,0.0,0.0,0.1266583248098041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739612425093293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681055955861192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0752343380839571,0.0,0.0720195548927169,0.3410297013100572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20791840376821116,0.0,0.037172859953924435,0.05252120350668263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039924494257389,0.0,0.3456906226530264,0.0,0.12534575289488648,0.0,0.11759796360288792,0.0,0.08098825696141138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13171519867667006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474888989348974,0.0,0.0,0.08482978760519813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534608877870288,0.0,0.0,0.08080703198805976,0.11985380401914213,0.0829313950835138,0.1556896850400972,0.15975483013638273,0.0,0.051927867997772936,0.035917133130348056,0.14736850225678225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09814754022714668,0.0745356130095198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1760438626782566,0.0,0.0,0.054512592405264564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798314059897698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163292933616496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08288038765070406,0.07040982739257529,0.0,0.0792647321995542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235687501944887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07558864711035211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0669279363678593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060814767817055124,0.08263720154252747,0.07357099522893619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05203634906190747,0.2350809033279951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416040819045359,0.0,0.0,0.06928975209600939,0.0,0.11055262499404048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04710730274544997,0.0,0.0,0.1286066387043805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965531705173234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843298345964498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08672552615177022,0.0,0.0589716260355743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08208011152648484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070438157424324,0.07466099759651601,0.0,0.20890003151820885,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Delet3r,2018/01/21,"Ex-wife of two years seems to be annoyed no matter what I do, boundary wise. I realize this is a question no one can answer but her, but thought possibly someone could have some insight.

My ex left me, had another boyfriend.  10 months later, (money issues) she moves out.  6 weeks after that, starts acting weird, super nice, attentive.  Asks to work things out.  We have kids so I said I'd talk.  It never went beyond that.  As soon as she felt I was interested, she backed off.  

Then we had a year and a half of her trying to get my attention and or make me jealous.  I set boundaries and she kept trying to bypass them.  Idask her to wait in the car when picking up the kids, (daily) she'd forget to give me something (she never forgets) and would be dressed up with full makeup.  Never wore dresses while married other than to weddings, but if I pushed away, she'd show up the next day like clockwork, looking her best.  She wouldn't let go, kept saying ""who knows what will happen between us down the road?"". 

I'd get mad (to myself, most of the time) set tougher boundaries, politely.  She'd get mad and id end up telling her what I thought.  Finally the last time, about 6 months ago, that she'd mention possible reconciliation down the road, I told her that I'd never trust her again, it would never work.  I'd avoided doing it before because I realized I didn't want to give up hope.  But it would never happen.  Needed to close the door and all that.

Now I'm wondering where the balance is.  My son mentioned Halloween being the only time he got to see us all together, and when I told her, I said that I'd be fine but ...and before I got finished she looked away and said it would be a bad idea.  I agreed, the kids would just get confused.  She looked irritated.

Then yesterday, had plumbing problems and took my daughter to her place, as we had no toilet.  My ex was driving back, said I could take her there now.  I said I'd sit in the car while our daughter was inside. She is 11.  

My ex gets irritated ""you can sit inside it's ok"".

It might sound silly but ayear ago I had to be on my toes all the time, she'd be sneaky in ways to make me jealous.  Back When she'd said she was leaving but she still lived at home, I finally said I gave up and that I agreed we were better off apart. The next day she goes shopping, buys super low cut shirt, I can see half her bra, and short shorts to ""lounge in"".  She'd sit around the house all evening.  That was just one of many things she did.

So I think I have reason to keep my distance.  I'm probably overthinking all this but in the past, me NOT paying attention to little things destroyed my life.  Married a woman who never loved me, wasted 15 years of my life, by saying ""oh I'm sure it's nothing"".  Now if she acts odd I get suspicious.  

Any thoughts are appreciated.  Maybe someone ""outside the forest can see things more clearly"" etc etc.   

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divorce,CatchTowardsAntonym,2018/01/21,"How important is the title of custodial parent in an uncontested, 50-50 custody divorce. I'm in Washington state and we are planning on a DIY, cheap divorce. I was looking into who should be the custodial parent. It looks like the custodian needs to give the court notice before moving, but all decisions about the child would still be decided jointly. My STBX is adamant about being the custodian but I have friends saying that I should really have that position. Does it really matter? Is this worth the argument?",5.5661956521739135,8.14962996739131,6.723260869565216,67.34293478260872,69.97826086956522,10.252173913043476,32.15217391304348,10.411451182825502,4.221386956521739,415,19,63,13,8,139,67,92,0.034,0.843,0.122,0.7468,2,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,9,0,13,0,0,1,1,14,18,4,0,4,2,2,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,1,6,3,0,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,5,2,8,11,1,7,0,0,2,0,10,4,0,0,2,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20405116545889132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20984959591383914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526800222782214,0.0,0.0,0.23003691453720998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715360892097028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4027412903291839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548682352639632,0.0,0.1778078141353241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2730125883011044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5325365052836887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30724257664910953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19069767606875068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191503677122682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034622799128624,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,notenoughespresso,2018/01/21,"Freaking Out I have less than a week left living in the house with my STBX husband. I told my job I was getting a divorce and planning on moving to Houston, TX eventually after getting a job lined up to be closer to my family, and I’m not sure if that was a mistake. They have found a replacement for me and are going to “lay me off” so that I can get unemployment while job searching in Houston, which is oddly kind of sweet of them. My last day of work is this coming Friday and I leave Saturday on a 3-day road trip by myself with two cats from Northern California. I’ve never gone on a trip by myself before, much less a trip across the country by myself, and I’m a little worried about that. 

 I’ve been job searching in the meantime and have had a few phone interviews so far, which hopefully will lead to me getting a job soon. I’m still really worried about getting a job, and being able to support myself. I’m a graphic designer and photographer, and I’m still new to the industry (I went back to school to change my career to this and recently graduated in May) and I’m really anxious about landing a job even though I’m currently employed as a graphic designer and photographer. I was hoping to have a job lined up before I made the move to Houston, but unfortunately that’s out of my hands now. I’m really hoping the job search doesn’t take a long time so that I’m not a burden to my family for too long and because I’m not sure if I can take being even more depressed than I already am if the job search takes a long time. 

My husband and I are amicable through all of this, but it’s still really hard on me. He was the one to ask for a divorce. He gets to keep his life pretty much intact while I’m picking everything up and starting everything over again. We live in a rural area, and at my current job I don’t make enough to live in a safe place on my own as a single lady. I could maybe afford a sketchy apartment on my own here. It’s also a small area and you’re bound to run into people you know here at least eventually. So, I’m packing up my life and moving to Houston where I have a support group (I don’t here) and hopefully a decent paying job soon. 

I’m not sleeping well, I have a lot of neck/back pain and headaches as I’m finding myself tensing up all the time. I don’t eat much, or overeat when I do eat right now. I’m just an anxious mess. Being around my husband although not completely awkward is still weird and painful. We don’t have anything else to talk about really right now other than my upcoming move. I’m not looking forward to having to say goodbye to him, the cat he’s keeping and to the life I’ve known with him for the past 10 years. I know we have it easier than some with no kids and doing everything amicably, but it’s still deeply painful and making me feel I’m not worth anything. ",3.8653730703259015,4.649790646655234,5.294593053173244,83.06264429674101,71.34991423670671,8.094150943396228,28.468653516295024,8.317959484511023,1.8847358833619203,2229,81,459,33,40,751,253,583,0.097,0.8320000000000001,0.071,-0.8755,18,0,0,0,2,0,46.0,3,1,2,3,33,22,0,1,41,0,37,11,2,5,5,80,86,44,0,9,15,3,3,0,0,2,6,1,0,1,15,36,3,4,6,0,2,14,14,10,1,2,11,6,52,12,80,68,16,88,0,1,1,0,25,41,0,11,35,314,67,21,0.05365526015248927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059209913800836414,0.0429080921588341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123034321941074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830741476209693,0.047764557111456524,0.050160425314865226,0.0,0.0,0.0825151662314191,0.0,0.03270774857883787,0.0,0.09131334898625157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676015080772787,0.04621925565995148,0.056256519435841514,0.0,0.0,0.04283935926350809,0.0,0.0,0.06920640801886467,0.0,0.04621319694751613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10980545237275637,0.04482208496479949,0.0,0.0,0.055440226692640655,0.0,0.07087758659181753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14466566434173198,0.0,0.10116280815180034,0.0,0.027129711693281683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049039935732379206,0.0,0.0,0.0588302233252177,0.0,0.0,0.16819595334288187,0.0,0.030493520830615087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04806457412949368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21316711964272445,0.0,0.061910966322847566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6389347987066331,0.09538252106763913,0.0,0.055873696754931465,0.05897505554706204,0.043736198296455406,0.0,0.05681317329351392,0.058296597148851985,0.0,0.11369489106078087,0.0,0.05377666641540109,0.14213573317374978,0.14244965040714652,0.04505690510551255,0.0,0.0,0.04561578345138592,0.0,0.05076990448620167,0.0716306055834196,0.0,0.05390392058030621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22810820080179295,0.11832836959631501,0.0,0.04138224437146605,0.05182058460236268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03635819288837379,0.0,0.1712789393380998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05122001703478588,0.03719780156244027,0.0,0.05605832691936273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054586688989299983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17186466787571095,0.0,0.05297809638176759,0.0,0.0,0.0916425980057302,0.0,0.042668816437711296,0.0,0.054301987791946164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05369400933968552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03797746929804033,0.0,0.21424580033551485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12177470675489036,0.10113889541959968,0.0,0.12102623446546913,0.043126065685439134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05271602067718518,0.0,0.09386044103726633,0.0,0.0,0.051269900421362855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052413392754754436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043039013258926034,0.0,0.0482425226147868,0.04973896371040639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0390616684220764,0.10897904234631993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03455222838139806
divorce,OhWaitWhaaaaat,2018/01/21,"Child Custody Arrangement - Disconnected Father I have not officially filed just yet, but am getting divorce papers together, and one of the big issues is child support and custody. 

My STBXH has a history of functional alcoholism, and over these many years, he has done a spectacular job at being emotionally distant with his children, and today he has very poor relationships with his children.  Our children are distant and disconnected from him, and he simply doesn’t care. 

At the current time, he lives here, but soon, he is moving out. All of my children have told me and him that they do not want to spend weekends with him. Our kids are 17, 15, 13 and 11, and all 4 are eloquent and have calmly shared that they are not interested in spending time with him at his apartment. While living here, he ignores them, and lives a life of bachelordom, yet wants them to feel comfortable with him for long weekends... 

Anyway, I would love it if my kids had an amazing relationship with their Dad, but they do not. How do I support my kids, but also support the fact that our kids are his kids— even if he does suck at building bonds and relationships with them. 

My 15yo daughter has told me flat out that she is not going no matter what. My 17yo son, and his Dad are not speaking after a physical altercation between them took place a few days ago, and the other 2, for the most part, other than brief hellos, ignore their Dad, and vice verse. Their father is more interested in going to the gym, roaring around in his dirt bike, and sitting on his phone. Yesterday was a beautiful day, and he spent zero time with his children. He has a long history of selfish behavior... 

Overall, it sucks with him here, but I don’t want to force my kids to do anything,  especially after years of coldness and disconnect from their father... 

What exactly do I put in the divorce papers with regards to child custody and support, or do I just leave it to the courts to decide? 

I have my children to support, and don’t want to agree to joint custody if I am flipping 100% of the bill because my kids refuse to go to their Dad’s for any length of time. I am happy to have my children, but I want their stay time to reflect in his child support. ",8.639821852731593,7.19291119477435,8.203347980997624,73.74098396674586,61.75534441805225,10.890308788598576,37.6770783847981,9.642632912329526,3.4717571496437056,1747,70,325,26,20,556,194,421,0.087,0.779,0.134,0.9848,2,0,1,0,2,0,59.0,3,0,13,0,13,20,2,0,17,0,37,3,0,1,4,70,61,33,0,9,18,9,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,17,12,33,1,3,3,4,5,7,10,5,0,2,7,3,54,15,56,52,6,49,0,0,0,1,80,17,2,5,23,234,66,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095283625668569,0.0975971249885726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0730314273786756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062103160446553264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515151832343676,0.08129734062859635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05567000173797248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09311046785286084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11779229760808925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07991787310580918,0.09345572082407304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272672646462934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031835788450918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617594187124408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04771279702702416,0.0,0.1557038712290565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721564034202528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09531808235625758,0.09062455355880376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669847645936712,0.0,0.0,0.06450453952520419,0.0,0.0,0.2419211610893393,0.16163697452556738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08242308906488885,0.0,0.0,0.09258776800954148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09706250419891167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06188321572811919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889452884840652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541369530545768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09180541340445728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29414201767977577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733877655694564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6217974423105376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26625754562290616,0.0,0.08656406788677813,0.1745271728919691,0.10146384850605414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535151091780737,0.2693250438156306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487364520945002,0.0,0.0,0.11761877216384037
divorce,Eva4ever28,2018/01/21,"Custody/Placement Question My husband has severe drug issues and that is the reason I am leaving him.  We have a 16-month-old.  I would like to file jointly with my STBX and I thought he might be easier to work with if I file joint custody but full placement with me (he agreed to this).  He was doing okay in the area of drugs so he was able to spend time with her alone while I worked but now I can tell he is using again and I do not want him with her unsupervised.  Do you think joint custody with placement with me will be okay for our situation?  I will not let him see her unsupervised until he gets the drug use under control but I don't know if this will become a legal issue.

Thank you!",1.7442249240121583,3.905133397163123,2.8995592705167184,92.21250000000002,80.27659574468085,5.163323201621076,21.418946301925022,6.18269132825596,0.16263080040526834,543,16,115,4,14,174,86,141,0.041,0.8420000000000001,0.117,0.8644,0,1,3,0,0,0,12.0,2,2,0,3,3,4,0,0,5,2,20,3,0,4,0,29,29,11,0,4,7,1,0,1,0,5,3,0,0,0,3,11,0,1,5,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,23,4,16,18,1,9,0,0,1,0,19,4,0,4,6,82,26,3,0.15562192317305207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16117737929088696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17187218755108669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745432196392959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5414160725701938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130603179990938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32485771189539603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08552573911101961,0.0,0.0,0.164781146608425,0.0,0.1591339601523244,0.0,0.07602901089538368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16509026775801391,0.0,0.0,0.12421593435697925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16329902994491516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743321697040677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000525581660147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240105243306075,0.0,0.0,0.17580847716622808,0.0,0.0,0.17492556194949166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136020420167169,0.14327575839297335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09971624463144467,0.0,0.12354642386190025,0.0907443948805616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688147512538322,0.0,0.0,0.0917898423124636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2265892270362829,0.0,0.0,0.110549349211032,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DevilDoc44,2018/01/21,Friendships/support system Pretty much my life revolved around my marriage for 17 years. A lot of my friends and support system were through her. I've been separated/divorced for 3 years. Made a lot of friends mostly opposite sex through dating websites. Doesn't feel right. These types of friends feel unreliable. Can't help but feel alone? Should I be meeting more people? I have a steady girlfriend. Feel like I just wanna shutdown and be alone.,3.519113636363638,6.737270774999999,2.733863636363637,88.41568181818184,85.0,4.409090909090909,29.772727272727273,6.11248444174946,1.5323749999999996,362,18,60,3,11,105,56,80,0.084,0.7440000000000001,0.173,0.7254,0,2,0,0,1,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,3,0,8,2,0,1,0,15,14,3,0,2,2,0,4,1,4,1,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,4,7,5,9,8,5,7,0,0,0,1,8,2,0,3,4,37,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3805715891198996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355600965369688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.371591628265646,0.13125462739287527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.425841144331719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12314835583207913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12977183518818036,0.08975974675531376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3123963026026398,0.0,0.17384695871639907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506050741655565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12737318964868047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869164412110896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156901880291066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4169825141915067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23662836799754236
divorce,sunshinexdaisy,2018/01/21,"Just some late night thoughts... FYI, I'm 23(F.) Officially divorced as of 10/4/17.

""Aren't you so sad?"" ""God, that must be really sad for you."" ""I'm so sorry you're going through this...""

IS DIVORCE SAD? Fuck yes. It's a sad thing, it's truly a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

But you know what else is sad? Crying yourself to sleep at night because your spouse hasn't come home again, or better yet crying yourself to sleep while your spouse lays next to you and says/does nothing.

It's sad to constantly feel like you don't matter. To starve yourself one day and binge on junk food the next because it's the only thing that makes you feel remotely okay again.

The fear that someone you gave every ounce of your being to would be completely fine if you were gone forever is sad.

Seeing the person you loved, and still continue to love despite the hurt they put you through change into someone you can't stand to be around is sad.

So, if you asked...yes divorce is sad. Having someone in your life every single day since you were sixteen years old be completely gone without any certainty you'll ever see or talk to them again is fucking earth shattering.

But, finally feeling like you can dye your hair a different color, blast the music you like, be as silly/stubborn/picky as you'd like is definitely not fucking sad. 

The last I would say six months of 2017 were truly the worst months of my life. Having to pack up your home and move back in with your parents is humiliating, awful, and really makes you feel the blow of losing your person even harder. Some days I still get so angry/sad that I can't focus on something as simple as brushing my teeth, but the more time that passes the better things get, and the farther these days happen. I laugh more than I did six months ago, I feel like I have control for the first time in six months and I'm finally starting to feel like me again. 

And that is most definitely not sad.
",3.8424912280701733,5.506548442105267,4.2242105263157885,87.33780701754391,72.47368421052632,6.9614035087719275,24.508771929824558,7.554174236665415,1.0793666666666666,1528,45,304,18,30,479,191,380,0.127,0.745,0.128,0.3837,2,0,1,0,3,0,58.0,0,26,2,5,16,32,3,1,16,3,34,12,4,3,2,45,65,25,0,7,11,3,8,6,0,5,2,1,2,2,16,12,1,1,9,0,0,7,9,19,0,5,8,13,40,13,38,45,8,54,0,13,3,5,41,11,3,7,41,188,56,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07090400873120532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054394178563128434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120574912874297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061505377431644574,0.0,0.09751915984214636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14148471995342027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08461606897125994,0.06890206719095404,0.16773054549453698,0.0864379692007687,0.0897126766333314,0.0,0.0,0.17572481784517566,0.2063410371834361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356981420099427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681921345953816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052830926893460084,0.0723531875578261,0.134785677771186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000806890754116,0.2831082486918977,0.22857207362572665,0.0,0.17524458574415072,0.0,0.06803724617931367,0.0967210881216844,0.0,0.0,0.22184120220223424,0.08358023593558657,0.0,0.045458685804417885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073259844071908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16046777879925833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562817182920639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04395898616142038,0.06520041118512516,0.09022927730750337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11299493989797628,0.2344668357775837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948544666675577,0.0,0.0,0.14438351259687066,0.0,0.10678442844578442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2553807354924246,0.08501395335143568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013502617961065,0.150125522961814,0.0,0.07675007276219266,0.0,0.08393332664688992,0.0,0.05420153599546367,0.06083402618407846,0.0,0.0,0.08881654783546385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968383429018014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040943510566577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248396019916056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06360919524061315,0.0,0.0,0.1274792122133739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616640832136839,0.0,0.16009034271317427,0.0,0.2033192071023224,0.06157821251491076,0.0,0.08953935169004594,0.056615497241409185,0.0,0.1277560905671484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06429084659869108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15942023385451487,0.0,0.0,0.0635010652148634,0.0932825986713304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919815687215263,0.07710500445706132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364151570356068,0.0,0.0,0.05150926659329888
divorce,Leftrighthere,2018/01/21,Chat rooms Aren’t there any of those chat rooms left anymore where you can talk in real time instead of waiting hours or days for a reply? I’ve looked all over and they all link to some trashy hook-up page.,7.283720930232557,5.2485216744186065,5.967093023255818,90.57529069767445,64.81395348837209,8.6,28.47674418604651,3.1291,0.7349162790697672,164,3,38,0,2,48,39,43,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,6,4,4,9,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,2,3,20,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570475216536731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3748664941634128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437735692703517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722459789560692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4106894135993215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3174180799804646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4302376485712833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038156512287545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204101747216516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Notimetolose17,2018/01/22,"Separation during pregnancy, where do I start? I am not sure if this is the right sub. 
Husband and I together almost 14 years, married for four. I am four months pregnant with our first child. 

This past weekend I caught my husband high on cocaine with a friend as they were about to walk into a seedy motel and meet an escort. But he wasn't going to f*** the escort! He was just there for the cocaine . Hahaha let's all laugh at that explanation together. He was also driving around all night while high with a ton of coke in his truck and had been drinking as well.

There have been two other incidents over the course of our relationship involving very reckless behaviour while under the influence. He is a weekend binge drinker , doesn't do cocaine often but makes very bad choices when he does. M-F normal blue collar working man .

He's kicked out , but I'm not sure what to do next. Do i file for separation? We own a home and won't be able to sell until the summer. He is currently at his parents but will want to come home. Can i force him to stay out? We own the home together . Do i have to invite him to ultrasound appointment in a couple weeks ? 

On top of all this and being Pregnant, I just put my 14 year old dog to sleep like 4 days ago. Man life can really f*** you sometimes. ",1.8366928104575173,4.2168973490196064,3.2713725490196066,88.43006535947714,81.3921568627451,6.4444444444444455,22.38562091503268,7.662118739084242,1.0694052287581703,1004,33,203,17,27,328,154,255,0.045,0.882,0.073,0.636,2,0,5,0,0,0,33.0,4,1,1,3,11,7,0,0,14,0,27,4,1,2,5,35,34,17,0,3,9,3,0,1,1,2,1,0,3,3,6,15,2,0,0,4,1,6,5,1,1,4,8,1,21,6,34,21,6,44,0,0,1,0,27,17,0,3,21,135,27,1,0.13946687897528814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12362897326164116,0.0,0.13965593334482254,0.0,0.0,0.1115316127285424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241550909834269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11644901840893902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201383669957902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431744888372256,0.0,0.08994459913203512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12204840564198682,0.0,0.0,0.13662444580042227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863045600969195,0.0,0.0,0.107751764733756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926224133714348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947088298007856,0.4196899531393648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426143329223791,0.09850958114586553,0.06813647232315835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309522469406853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11132113220643604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832460800746422,0.1308802181728244,0.1366479297735619,0.0,0.0,0.1463470286303028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15486146430969466,0.0,0.1331369169882082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14020273438061548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08934605392510743,0.0,0.0,0.14973523399704616,0.0,0.11910395261081587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13956760028734091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13793630946542132,0.0,0.09871537477079556,0.14865313632894048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628917658229866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13623887542873922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23014956261554126,0.08226117868186011,0.0,0.11187191780152013,0.0,0.12539747349760866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153354893652156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1796241949176867
divorce,h0p3n3ss,2018/01/22,"Dated three years. Married six months. Everything was a lie. I thought I was marrying my best friend and he would have never done anything like this. In October of 2017 he told me he wanted more freedom and to have sex with other people. He was depriving me of any intimacy and of course, at the time our sex life was dwindling. I stuck around up until this weekend thinking (hoping and in denial) that he’d change his mind, want counseling, want me. He didn’t. 

Two weeks ago he accused me of cheating after going to the movies by myself. Last week he told me the only thing he would have sex with me gore was to have kids, which, really who would want to have kids in a shit show like this? He says that he’s always wanted an open relationship and he lied to me about it when asked previously because he knew I’d say no. Then, he married me anyway. 

Thankfully, it’s only been six months and the only shared asset (if you can call it that) is our apartment which we’re going to put our sixty day notice in and I’ll work out the divorce stuff when I don’t have my personal items invested. 

I guess I’m honestly just... really hurt. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m confused. I really miss him. I’m starting to get lonely. And while I know what to do about everything else like the lease and stuff. I’m just not sure what to do about all these feelings. I’ve got plenty of support and a therapist, but I’m overwhelmed. 
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divorce,anthai182,2018/01/22,"Told my Wife I wasn't happy... So I'm 30. Male. Unhappy. Brown/blonde and a beard.

We have been together for eleven years and married for four. The one aspect which has constantly been put to the side in our relationship is intimacy. We have tried working on it - which is where it all started going wrong.

I was upset and putting pressure on her for sex. We went to marriage counselling and I changed. I dug deep, worked hard and started smiling when she said she wasn't in the mood. Fast forward four years - we didn't have sex. Which meant we are not intimate - which meant no connection. 

We have had a lot going on for the last four years - new houses, new jobs, new dogs new kits of things. A few bad things - her uncle died - he was only 40 - we where all very close. She got diagnosed with MS. I got torn apart in a job. These other things took priority - working on us became an after thought. 

Last week she said she will start putting in effort - and she did. She came up with a list of things sexually that she wanted to do - she was always in the mood. It felt fake. It felt like she was just doing this to get us on the right track. 

Last night we went to pizza express - she wanted to review things. She said she doesn't want to put the effort in if I don't want to put the effort in. She said she can find happiness again and calling it off wouldn't be the end of the world.

We got home and continued talking - she said what's going on? I blurted it out - I'm not happy.

It felt good to say it to her out loud - like a big relief. 

She got upset and said she didn't want lose me and the things she said before was just bravado.

I'm gonna miss her - she is my best friend and I want to be friends with her. 

I just want to be happy and now I think I have a chance.

",0.6304726027397258,2.8008035506849325,1.9994349315068511,96.98024828767126,84.72602739726028,4.965068493150685,17.892123287671236,6.2581,-0.3712178082191779,1356,32,312,12,40,434,174,365,0.113,0.802,0.085,-0.5343,2,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,12,0,0,8,9,21,0,3,19,0,33,4,0,0,2,53,75,15,1,9,6,1,4,2,2,3,1,9,1,1,23,28,1,0,8,0,0,13,10,8,0,5,35,13,51,11,40,34,5,62,0,2,0,2,56,27,0,2,26,201,74,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05591516291360138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05610857054215163,0.0,0.0,0.05718161606895693,0.0,0.07052147166959809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06861795210967181,0.07685804499300618,0.0,0.0,0.07108790089370755,0.0,0.0,0.0726185210764713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820582872278033,0.06974221671405023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05951859363785467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19356546753643272,0.0,0.06141890114045509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383595456981852,0.0,0.03510883689763308,0.0,0.11457265471598276,0.056363546376722265,0.2149815301755796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28613942366312795,0.060197332698955885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740633129500252,0.0,0.0,0.07753891727844109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13336978203205113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432908399933238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566032270725992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517877681408397,0.0,0.057130403056283814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596058347304599,0.0,0.06306194808902231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045535953938500136,0.05110806111552911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377690563509915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07214685064896971,0.0,0.0573877961207448,0.4474531561239565,0.053439544310774564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269193449457904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05401221525585903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26786519209609383,0.04305856885778767,0.0,0.05334870179530928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06421176737761375,0.07466084426338619,0.04562388268942975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166485812922118,0.0,0.0,0.055446422587741497,0.27745102938696553,0.0,0.05390318851473068,0.0,0.0,0.12458876421165825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676557271338528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07347183561377316,0.0,0.12982234993458602
divorce,pd007,2018/01/22,"Getting a divorce, need advice on how to heal quickly and not get wrapped up on what he’s doing with his life. (F) So let me start off by saying we got married young, have been married for 7 years. We separated for (2) weeks back in July. He asked me to come back and ever since then I’ve been trying my hardest to make things work. I mean everything. He even had a list of things I needed to work on to make him happy. So stupid I know.

Forward (6) months later and he’s just not wanting to be married. He says he has no logical explanation for wanting a divorce, just that he doesn’t want to be married.

I care for him deeply but he’s honestly treated me pretty bad and I’ve been told I’ve stuck with him longer than most people. So I’m feeling more at peace than I was (6) months ago. But obviously I know I’ll have sad moments, he was a huge chunk of my life and we do have good memories for the most part. But one thing that I think will be hard for me is seeing him with other people. We were each other’s first and haven’t been with anyone else.

However, with that in mind.. he’s done some really shady things to me. From getting a hand job at one of those shady massage places, to emailing a hooker, to flirting with other girls and checking them out all the time, to going to clubs/bars when I wasn’t around and dancing with other girls, from telling me I needed to get a bigger ass all the time.. which didn’t make me feel good about my body, to telling me I’m going to be on a very short leash he asked me to come back after the (2) week separation, (basically I better listen to his every wish and command or that was it), holding onto things that I may have said, even if I apologized over and over he’d bring it up again and act like it was still relevant to today.. I could go on and on. And I did take care of him in the bedroom, there was no reason for him to go off and do these things. 

And so that’s partly keeping me going knowing that I deserve better and am worth more than how I was treated. But it’s still hard. What’s your advice on how to move on and not get caught up on what he’s doing in his life?

I have some new and old friends and family that really has my back which I’m glad and so thankful. It’s just seeing him move on and thinking of all the good memories is just already so hard for me.

Any advice is welcome.


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divorce,Strugglebear7,2018/01/22,"My Story After 7 years of marriage, my wife comes up to me one day while I'm doing the dishes and we have a relatively innocuous conversation about drying them after they come out of the dishwasher.  Then, she simply says ""I think I'm done.""  I look at her and say ""...with what? Talking about dishes?""  And she responds with ""No, with this relationship.""  All while our two young daughters are finishing their dinner in the next room.  Needless to say, I was dumbstruck.

I am not the type to blame others or get angry.  I knew I couldn't change how she felt by being hurt or upset.  After the initial shock wore off, I talked with her and she agreed to give it some time before she committed to anything final.  And rather than try to take that time to ""win her back"" I decided I would make myself the best possible version of myself that I could.  My rationale was that if I became happier with myself, then whatever the final outcome was, I would be better off.  So I started getting back into old things I had neglected, such as sports, being active, and musical interests.  I lost 60 pounds, became a more attentive father, and enjoyed the process.

But it was too late.  She was checked out.  Before the initial revelation, she had already been texting other guys, going out on girls' weekends without her wedding ring, and emotionally cheating (if not physically) and that did not change during this time.  She was not interested in reconciliation.  And so, she moved away with the kids and I'm left alone in the family house I purchased for the express purpose of rearing my children.  The divorce should be finalized soon.

And so here I am, I've met all my goals, I've improved myself greatly, and I've become comfortable with myself.  But.... there's still the hole.  The hole that was left when companionship and togetherness was removed.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want her anymore. I'm over her. I want what she represented. That feeling of having something to work toward is gone. That feeling of a combined experience that we can share.  I keep trying to find things that will capture my interest, that can inspire me, and can push me past this feeling of listlessness. The feeling that all I'm trying to do is find things to occupy my time so I can get to tomorrow.  When tomorrow will just be more of the same.

I'm secure, I have everything I need professionally and personally -- Except for satisfying relationships and a purpose.  All my friends were couples, all my time was spent with my kids, all my effort was geared toward making a better life for my family.  Now... all of those things are gone.  I've tried to reach out, make new friends, find new hobbies... but I lose interest so quickly, and everyone else already has a somebody, or a group, or a life that doesn't need me in it.

I'm going to keep trying.  But damn if it isn't difficult sometimes.",4.387526762956668,6.4062719289719645,5.230923959218352,79.21613954970266,71.76635514018692,8.003823279524214,28.607689039932023,8.710501217029153,2.353364485981309,2242,88,402,42,44,729,263,535,0.056,0.8440000000000001,0.1,0.9408,0,1,1,0,1,0,92.0,3,0,3,9,23,26,2,1,25,0,48,5,0,5,8,94,89,42,0,13,19,3,5,0,2,5,2,4,1,6,28,35,3,4,14,2,3,9,11,10,0,2,24,10,68,16,62,53,13,67,0,4,1,0,51,21,1,8,37,303,96,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08259693646549668,0.17601219023592432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07909055886043577,0.0,0.0,0.06562744517172946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492773914867214,0.12264563654767803,0.0,0.0,0.0880775963587447,0.13572273223458411,0.0,0.08369269246132613,0.14106476754607578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16872982614692514,0.1373951066226224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06367387628393388,0.08824184510454143,0.0,0.051432144854724186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816119265610844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06662088186897179,0.08970800270080834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07620453136189448,0.07167414710981393,0.07801079130930122,0.15036238266710214,0.0,0.16129596106712188,0.0,0.07657249516647717,0.2620866418632936,0.21867013334082325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12322928615209908,0.0,0.166664309157643,0.07650345560533829,0.0906475122976032,0.0,0.0,0.08792464356284169,0.0,0.0789650266203622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202077897597796,0.08537401182586453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177090765416886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996146038543068,0.0,0.17329719110865907,0.0,0.11265955034464835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696990456319019,0.08921983756944568,0.08705653289652436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15970120923168624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08476161646035964,0.0,0.1182672115242934,0.0,0.15404607116720753,0.0848150172236748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368419725261046,0.0,0.0540406559687685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07613038766226563,0.0,0.06963461361967553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08990612907041473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17124328351248833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902611747055968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06139543716931783,0.07887477755876562,0.0,0.05644745213825344,0.0,0.06368844361561933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0599620661384716,0.12820003932255772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119293941021277,0.05110057229269668,0.0,0.0,0.23251429733891546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27072503539827397,0.0,0.07790415037160328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407721861487273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687614276619667,0.0,0.05805894124728472,0.0,0.0,0.11330420699552705,0.08719409276371486,0.0,0.051356377712340376
divorce,anonymous_person_999,2018/01/22,"why is it sometimes hard to cry i see lots of posts about the loneliness, pain, dreams, uncertainty, anxiety, etc. im separated only for a month, and in the last 4 months ive started feeling the grief and anxiety like so many others. been seeing a counselor via work, and at home i have cried a lot. when we filed, our would-be fifth anniversary, refinance paperwork, my birthday, after stbx leaves from picking up things... this is not something im used to, i feel like im holding a lot back, and my episodes are only the tip of the iceberg breaking through. so my open-ended question is: why is it so hard to cry sometimes? is it normal and will pass, or unhealthy? sorry if this sounds weird, but thanks for your input.",6.300809352517987,6.269541482014392,6.381933453237412,80.25405125899282,65.83453237410072,9.252158273381296,33.92176258992806,8.841846274778883,2.7256395683453243,562,23,109,8,8,179,97,139,0.17,0.755,0.07400000000000001,-0.755,0,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,2,1,0,1,6,6,0,0,9,0,10,1,0,2,0,20,17,12,1,2,4,0,4,2,0,1,1,1,1,0,7,6,0,1,3,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,7,10,3,14,15,4,13,0,1,2,0,4,3,0,6,9,67,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874854263167209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942256443573256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4038130863298228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10853400865041228,0.0,0.13666441700085274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12391974383756747,0.08754255245165432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195434209226628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12291754385828355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3970924660313604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09988640039009232,0.0,0.1297520954281834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11973364283537324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3125372063009524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12423625842031345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19562041046707565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12006311641804722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639428145663334,0.13039112816916787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735938242241878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727276927740426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195296922229589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094337227001627,0.2423902536842799,0.13717342223789,0.08673439512034438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11281830633043992,0.0,0.0,0.08141008632527924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583515764723808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211464589055125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08921053049617175,0.0,0.0,0.08704885239352987,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwmeaway5910,2018/01/22,"Alimony and refusal to work Thinking of divorce but curious how alimony is usually looked at in a case where a spouse is capable of work but refuses. 

My wife has PTSD from childhood events but none of her counselors have ever suggested she not work. In fact they usually suggest work as a good way to get out of the house. 

For the last 5 years though she refuses to work or will get a job then after a few months stop going.",7.9660714285714285,6.379680130952384,8.192857142857147,73.72714285714288,63.16666666666666,12.685714285714289,38.85714285714286,11.698219412168324,4.456199999999999,337,15,66,9,4,111,61,84,0.032,0.851,0.117,0.8126,1,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,1,5,4,1,0,0,7,0,5,0,0,1,2,15,10,9,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,5,1,15,9,2,18,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,1,11,45,5,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557025057210933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19126179611190125,0.0,0.10402590754278583,0.15352535241597695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112037010865288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18163905666312874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920211232847147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15370758498849213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610086229088576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21396408290757807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15302972040520138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172847058670812,0.1798359698589727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.403185623018461,0.0,0.0,0.14528871233563204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6662768675210263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11787182382009095
divorce,NearlyDeparted,2018/01/22,"Finding a quality therapist/counselor? It's a suggestion in many (most?) threads in this sub, and I'm realizing it's something that would probably be helpful to us, myself individually, and quite possibly my wife individually too. I've googled the living bejesus out of providers in our area, but aside from a short self-written bio, there's little information to be gleaned about whether they're a quality therapist. How did you search and identify your counselor? Suggestions? For searching and for building a productive relationship with your counselor? Thanks!

(I would post this in a bigger sub too, but since the basis for going down this path is rooted in what is probably ultimately the decision of whether we stay together, I thought I would start here. And yes, if you click my name you'll see I've been around for a while. Still married, still trying and want to keep trying, but realizing this problem is more than I can handle on my own.)",6.738508771929827,8.393107134502923,6.873932748538014,71.16072368421052,65.37426900584796,10.612280701754386,37.05701754385965,10.686352973137794,4.375143859649123,764,39,129,21,12,245,111,171,0.026,0.9,0.07400000000000001,0.7792,0,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,3,5,0,1,9,2,0,0,10,1,12,0,0,2,0,32,20,14,0,6,6,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,10,0,1,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,3,2,16,1,22,11,3,20,0,0,2,0,15,13,0,2,4,90,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388478478294706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772670417853626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918579370839595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833704437268887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143663987963372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16199551595273592,0.1427220699087921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386724301902067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221330819314424,0.15479666471372286,0.0,0.3485285116665769,0.1546578849403706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719131820604031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17352991123791395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12879802009004396,0.0,0.16861512601293044,0.0,0.0,0.13370183640603953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244305124717803,0.0,0.0,0.11440240058750295,0.1722758556139662,0.2581555256546649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14880699930529892,0.0,0.37532929850719693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12831600276276456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194720418759901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944207420636338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533344059335404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34445150629307153,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,time_to_end,2018/01/22,"Single income family - what should/should not be doing to protect myself I'm getting a divorce. I've decided I've had enough and told my wife I want to finally end things. 

I'm the sole earner (she has an at home business that losses money) and we have a number of joint accounts (checking, savings, credit cards). I want to make sure she doesn't screw me over by charging up cards and draining accounts.

I'm not trying to put her in dire straights or anything but we have $50k in cash in the accounts and 3 joint credit cards.

Here is what I would like to do:

1) Setup a new account under my name and start direct deposit to it. 

2) Leave credit card 1 intact as a joint account. It has a $25k limit that, even if she charges it all up, I feel can manage the damage.

3) Cancel her AMEX. It's my account but I added her as a user. This has no limit and has to be paid off each month.

4) Cancel her 3rd card (mine but she was added as a user). We recently signed up for this for a specific purpose. I'll continue to pay it off.

5) Continue to pay all bills including her car, house, insurance, etc..

Am I within my rights to do all these things without getting myself in trouble down the line? What should I do if she starts to drain our checking/savings?
",1.944904891304347,3.7741504062500013,3.5930570652173937,89.1266711956522,78.140625,5.858423913043477,23.630434782608692,6.7026698264267655,0.7456180706521733,968,32,199,9,23,322,145,256,0.106,0.807,0.087,-0.7853,1,0,0,0,1,0,42.0,4,0,0,3,2,10,1,0,13,0,20,1,0,1,4,35,33,15,0,6,9,1,1,1,0,2,0,0,1,0,15,10,0,3,2,0,17,2,5,4,0,0,4,1,29,6,33,25,7,27,0,2,0,1,18,16,1,3,10,134,44,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16481238430816084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773875674239896,0.2069415342395667,0.22336379892946034,0.13228225593146326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888050245806036,0.0,0.1012669769986724,0.0,0.0,0.21939563154702724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20927480949065053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20089596219543715,0.0,0.0,0.2310948407215825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120663270653404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784610328819264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368765156862022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986062425376515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934305092628296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20133550742735087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977511493074385,0.0,0.0,0.1710369975410211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28351672537860506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887603950959796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661126656352139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1913749724063634,0.0,0.13597615588766326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23625924593627856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930616124482232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14227231045040314,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,skillful_donkey,2018/01/22,"Asset Division Question/Opinion Currently negotiating with my STBX a 50/50 split of financial assets (cash, retirement, investments). I originally planned on not moving an 401k dollars just to keep things more simple. The problem is my 401k is much higher (more than 2x) than hers. Because of this my calculations after selling our house put me at zero dollars and owing her a small amount. I want some cash post-divorce just so I can stay current on bills and have something to grow on so I can purchase a house later on.

I brought this up to my STBX and she was against accepting any 401k dollars, she would rather have cash (which makes sense). The more I thought about it the more I think it would be unfair for her to have more in cash and me with more 401k because 1) 401k dollars are more restricted (penalty for withdrawals) and 2)hasn't been taxed yet, at some point I will pay income tax (low 20%) on the money.

Two questions, am I wrong in my thinking? That 401k dollars are worth ""less"". And how do I communicate this to her? Things have been very amicable so far, but she is already making plans for the cash she thinks she is going to end up with and I believe this will change everything.",5.44605,6.868983857777778,5.2605972222222235,82.39356250000002,68.2,7.936111111111113,31.39583333333333,8.278499904357787,2.2845166666666663,948,39,176,13,16,293,132,225,0.044,0.921,0.035,-0.4746,3,0,1,0,1,0,35.0,1,0,0,2,9,4,0,0,9,0,22,0,0,4,0,33,33,12,0,5,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,2,6,0,20,5,1,3,0,2,5,0,28,1,30,23,12,28,0,1,0,0,11,15,0,3,7,129,38,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771342769641375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10915692629802393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19569909914496106,0.0,0.0,0.18084746265352347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980548743106352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217023820971916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1442621469376711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912253948315251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704296646212565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14267470445206254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21429241682738448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1706039522136794,0.11799831507547533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15174025675461403,0.0,0.15373072056043907,0.0,0.0,0.15359289643744453,0.0,0.16136371599597293,0.35963109721189224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12357367245197312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710895481351631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328045484469046,0.3085580463508035,0.0,0.12743240689737131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680158664104726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244316818269658,0.09467696570223902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280530542372778,0.17549991914244367,0.0,0.0
divorce,DiamondFire316,2018/01/23,"Alone again, naturally... Don’t know why that popped in my head. After months of marriage counseling, I found out two weeks ago my husband version of “trying” involved sleeping with a coworker (of sorts). I knew he was lying, I knew he was lying about her but kept telling me I was overreacting. Saved snapchats on his computer don’t lie. But even after that, I found myself digging deep to figure out where I can contributed to this current situation. Realized I had not been a great spouse in recent years. Things have been tough, lost my father, had two kids, one of which almost killed me and the other sent me into PP anxiety, and moving 500 miles away to be closer to his parents. But I had never given up on him, never given up on us. I told him now that I knew what he had actually thought and felt (not much of a communicator) that I wanted to give it a real chance. Two weeks of living in purgatory, I finally got him to make a decision. I guess he’s done. Just doesn’t feel anything for me. So here’s my pity party. 
I lose my house, my pets, my best friend,the love of my life, I have to close my small business that was starting to take of and get a full time job again, I should get custody of our two boys (5,2) for most of the time, based on his schedule, but based on their school, I might have to ask him to pick them up from school every day. Sure, I get half his money, but I’ve never cared about any of that. I just wanted a family. That’s why I quit my job in the first place. So he could do what he wanted and with his weird schedule, we could take time whenever he wanted. I now live in a place I don’t have any roots in, where it’s hard to make friends. Rant over. ",4.2149841437632185,4.561538563953492,5.086670190274841,86.44374207188162,70.33720930232559,8.115010570824525,25.22938689217759,8.00094639256281,1.1649523255813956,1302,33,286,16,22,425,182,344,0.112,0.807,0.081,-0.7136,4,1,0,0,0,0,52.0,3,0,2,5,14,13,1,0,11,0,26,4,2,4,4,56,59,12,1,7,9,4,3,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,15,12,0,1,12,0,1,2,9,6,0,7,25,3,52,7,50,29,5,56,0,3,0,1,37,29,0,5,25,192,67,5,0.0,0.0,0.09140559653335624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08303024947355864,0.0,0.09379408952578536,0.09701088679470732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273937058517304,0.0,0.07165508968324827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708005800965786,0.0,0.08756611216566684,0.0,0.08800334166596603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829786262474237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954998704419614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495711455724816,0.0,0.0,0.060407542889861277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585398330145826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06186624872667844,0.0,0.0789185876163226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08830102366565418,0.0,0.04736090976589221,0.0,0.08993512323894062,0.1026077504897368,0.0,0.07967320360091447,0.0,0.2054023227311259,0.14473396762950988,0.0,0.14681161118334146,0.08985403561830231,0.0,0.0,0.0749141517460921,0.10326832940956504,0.10318489174092596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08390734055779528,0.0,0.09612948709393936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807927937773426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859003251364381,0.0,0.10362878927347424,0.0,0.05147699901459999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615985623990292,0.0,0.0,0.16541956433735114,0.0,0.0,0.10478954707850764,0.10224872518234816,0.0,0.08453823193716535,0.0,0.12504705858531687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09936601120357176,0.0,0.0,0.07476420077693273,0.09955332401955697,0.06885610996723825,0.0,0.21672556978249588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347126398190199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10400625093166654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957244067221174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962651080681867,0.0,0.10661368780337163,0.0,0.0,0.09248497996117587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895922502235667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528576629327398,0.09373476430770768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629806895466718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08828015118523833,0.0,0.14085203299437027,0.0,0.08186919058158328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06222827183275965,0.0,0.0,0.07436122979470351,0.16385415108018422,0.0,0.0,0.08950294625371026,0.0,0.06359382535328315,0.0,0.365996659728148,0.0,0.1126700112703789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22098917455178932,0.0,0.1502682259519779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690400118805824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031855366111881
divorce,TA517,2018/01/23,"Subpoena for iMessage in Michigan I met with my lawyer this morning and she mentioned that text messages can be subpoenaed. Is this true for iMessages well? What exactly shows up if my STBXW requests my iMessages?

What about other chat services such as WhatsApp or Kik?",4.4332624113475205,7.819700021276598,3.5330851063829805,83.6841666666667,80.70212765957447,5.686524822695036,35.49290780141844,7.1686216300943375,2.9613290780141845,219,13,33,3,6,64,41,47,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.7087,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,6,4,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,2,7,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,0,26,11,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kattagirl,2018/01/23,"Need to know I’m not alone My(29F) husband (30M) told me last night he is moving out of the home we own together and wants a divorce. We have two little girls 3 and almost 1. Friday is my 30th birthday. I currently don’t have a job because I’m getting my real estate license. I have a very supportive family. But I feel so alone and so destroyed. We have been having problems for the last year, he had an affair that last about 5 months starting in December of 2016. But we have been going to counseling and going to therapy and I thought things were better. I feel so caught of guard. I love my husband, I love my family, this was not my plan, this isn’t how it should be. Why! Why 3 days before my birthday? How am I going to pay for our daughters birthday party’s on the 17th? I’m just so heartbroken. Sorry if this post is all over the place, I’m feeling very out of control and raw. ",1.4123497267759575,3.4589017377049203,3.2700819672131165,89.72566939890713,80.80327868852459,6.033879781420765,22.73497267759563,7.1686216300943375,0.833500546448088,690,23,144,9,18,231,111,183,0.08,0.8140000000000001,0.106,0.5807,2,2,0,0,1,0,24.0,5,0,0,3,8,6,1,0,8,0,19,2,0,3,1,34,40,15,0,5,6,3,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,6,12,0,2,5,0,1,5,4,2,0,1,8,3,20,4,16,30,2,22,0,0,0,2,16,7,0,2,9,90,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390436975113461,0.2876247846103879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464500688156454,0.0,0.11815577942776567,0.0,0.0,0.12280638095610055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15573821889531927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955029217136813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26180116223920724,0.0,0.21062849625105096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254625303768206,0.0,0.2367442938784741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13928335993377075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377926301444918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631133599106144,0.3395572272594933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391696615200336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506449694014835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108331129398885,0.1475813917615658,0.0,0.10295957300836413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030645408318292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14507441429119144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298515891590698,0.0,0.0,0.13286593380051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15804792639333393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554373325660914,0.0982826177206492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757154403983187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879333353182706,0.0,0.09224940557677004,0.0,0.0,0.11023573440951186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268235395423178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564161959110815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291406129352991,0.08190055496837495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25059093166821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941837137054161
divorce,TravelSize3,2018/01/23,"...I hate not being able to trust myself Spent the whole night inside my own head
It’s just…my x, father of my kid, keeps trying to be my friend and professing his undying love for me

And he hurt me and fucked my opinion of the world so completely 
On top of being overall emotionally/verbally abusive…and on a few occasions raising a hand to me 
I found so many signs and things pointing to infidelity 
But that man would deny and lie
And freak out that I accused him of lying ‘because he didn’t lie he just didn’t tell me certain things’

He made me feel like a crazy person

Any time I think about dating again I have a damn panic attack and the fight or flight response kicks in

…I tanked my next attempt at a relationship with a friend soooo bad
Like honestly I know him and I wouldn’t have worked, but I see my role and how I made it worse
I hurt him
And I drove myself nuts…

I still have such a hard time even thinking about letting someone in…about trusting someone

I feel so fucking broken and I hate it
I want to fix myself..
I’m going to counseling
I’m trying

But I still find myself on days like today where I feel utterly hopeless
And not a damn thing anyone says will help

“It’s only a block of time”
“It’ll get better”
“You’re not broken”
Same shit over and over

I know…I’m fucking aware
But that doesn’t make it hurt less

I feel like I’ll never be able to find someone and let myself be happy with them

I can’t afford for be hurt again like that, I’m terrified of trusting someone and letting them in…only to have them betray me and devistate me…it’s the what if’s that are killing me

I just want to be able to trust my own judgement…I want to be able to let myself be happy again

I just...I feel like I can’t trust myself
With attempt at dating after my divorce I felt like I couldn’t open up
I felt like I was always second guessing myself...
Like 
...am I being irrational about something due to past experiences...
Or am I not reacting enough?
Am I falling into the same shit I did with ex husband where I sacrificed my own happiness for him until there was nothing left?

And on top of that there is the fear of being cheated on again...

And I just wish...I just wish my x could be a decent person for like a minute and fess up to what he did...
I wish I knew the extent of it 
I wish I had proof that i wasn’t a crazy pants

But I know he isn’t capable of really owning his flaws/failures

And you know...maybe he never actually fucked anyone else...but I know he was on his way

He would flirt with other women and his ex’s 
He’d lie about where he was going
He downloaded the tinder app
He changed all his passwords...he’d shit a brick if I walked near his phone or computer
He’d clear his texts and Facebook messages

I mean...the damn signs are there
You don’t do that shit if you’re not doing something wrong

I just don’t know how I’ll ever trust my judgement or anyone else enough to have a good relationship",1.1663507727652491,3.3182413190789504,2.768546365914787,92.40260233918129,82.35526315789474,5.373475355054302,19.84816207184628,6.580844003640285,0.14170480367585636,2294,62,493,23,63,752,242,608,0.17,0.631,0.199,0.9399,1,0,2,0,2,1,46.0,0,2,3,6,29,54,17,2,22,0,54,11,6,6,7,101,96,40,1,14,22,4,9,10,2,5,0,1,0,5,21,30,0,2,17,0,1,5,18,27,0,1,18,11,87,27,56,53,13,53,0,5,1,5,52,25,11,9,32,316,108,2,0.2436773839352317,0.0,0.059448493958890826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068977600558551,0.0,0.0,0.04142724428237605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277886694716729,0.06241906907565298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693045506589144,0.0,0.0,0.05086510929369794,0.037135867878802666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05387821096453745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444459043385461,0.0,0.0638727752249627,0.0,0.0,0.048639140715772335,0.0,0.0,0.039287938427805764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05089029656973113,0.0,0.0,0.12589193833786794,0.0,0.040236653478269636,0.05510503614073221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05959080987816734,0.0,0.06855120081811908,0.15401325875477193,0.13056237882927982,0.1169842511472738,0.0,0.11135835716438752,0.0,0.0,0.0667949185013383,0.09413227118023697,0.22527581488306894,0.03182784392325814,0.0,0.06924373641895433,0.05109625711242456,0.0,0.0,0.06710952770895946,0.0,0.0,0.19454932977119752,0.054571768222489284,0.12029048397571185,0.06252082421112877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04083295348824565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608616793581951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05414791378527852,0.06739823037906821,0.0,0.2008780762450045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06618904765900803,0.2491766347216471,0.0,0.2976211529266468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054982088200451584,0.11528671627608585,0.04066413649066592,0.06176265515814205,0.06120167115736243,0.06635902689460814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939695103625314,0.0,0.06478841556869172,0.057168679416130776,0.0,0.05845375547531063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04633190775155137,0.0,0.07147572670565132,0.0,0.0,0.058154408909224076,0.0,0.1063848462886947,0.0,0.0,0.057588472827469636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039026492966233214,0.0,0.0,0.13080915831562798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04844550904983232,0.0,0.0,0.04854483149478192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501313328714153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20646705664532247,0.09379737757659616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730053679079252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0532461935187135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141631964861245,0.07806931418208965,0.0,0.0,0.1065676816306846,0.0,0.05774441688049019,0.0,0.0,0.08272047414422351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779542588123787,0.04835494127979596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801427423565487,0.2802169656799149,0.0,0.0,0.0443500094221211,0.0,0.0620820180428301,0.08655071105094587,0.06660574155414704,0.0,0.0
divorce,h20kw,2018/01/23,"Told my stbxw that I want a divorce in early December. 40 year old man, 2 kids (8 and 9) in WI married 10 years.  I told my stbxw that I want a divorce in early December after finding out she cheated on me.  There has also been years of emotional abuse as well.  I filed in the middle of December.  She moved out in early January.  We've mostly agreed on splitting things up. I'm taking on all debt except for her car and credit card.  She wants me to pay for half of her student loans ($72,000).  She said I can have the house, but wants an appraisal to get the value.  I feel that I've given more than a fair enough value on the house based on a 2 year old appraisal from refinancing.  I'm also offering about $300 a month more in child support than I'd need to.  This is in exchange for no support payments but would last a lot longer than the support payments would.  We've also agreed on 50/50 legal custody and placement of the kids.  We each have our own attorneys as well.  So far everything has been pretty amicable, and I hope this continues.

The only real problem we have is that she wants to get back together and wants to know why I want a divorce.  I don't have the heart to go into all the reasons beyond the infidelity.  It will just completely break her.  I need her to stop texting me with the ""I miss you"", ""I'm lonely"" comments.  I've asked her to stop, but she refuses to understand that this isn't helping me any.

Thanks for listening!",2.8736340206185567,4.530802037800687,4.263835910652922,86.08894974226807,75.01374570446734,7.186769759450173,25.870704467353953,7.9370924344782425,1.4922312714776629,1127,40,229,17,24,373,154,291,0.08800000000000001,0.741,0.171,0.9746,1,2,0,0,4,0,39.0,3,1,0,0,11,12,1,0,19,0,16,1,1,1,2,43,47,14,0,13,5,0,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,4,10,12,0,3,5,0,5,3,3,4,2,1,6,3,32,8,45,38,9,40,0,2,0,0,31,20,0,3,16,150,42,4,0.0,0.12449974219863652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2520914927199502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145635325105472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09823334680308114,0.0,0.0,0.0807981679784792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11017183664185487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11819812714520915,0.0,0.10857322244286556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443694763069196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05313037839501632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09603899854836312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979739048524163,0.0,0.05971800653996985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12451743053940252,0.07043128258427861,0.0,0.0,0.10436573982094983,0.0,0.2424908236933877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774788638573055,0.08565224692843246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933319538951924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387191667800467,0.11168083133930663,0.0,0.15582737865070995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22052247489887955,0.0,0.0,0.07991622963197131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069016683303265,0.0,0.10054504681381254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196012830640472,0.0,0.10803724621452963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995283493123712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17569911303506502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35772235558432064,0.0,0.0,0.07900525821494678,0.0,0.0,0.09674131207175682,0.0,0.0,0.06980887076885256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081224898061675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10938945978468144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338423272601584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18895471579143125,0.0,0.09481616632268897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492881867987874,0.0,0.0,0.27066604895020785
divorce,Peach-PearLaCroix,2018/01/23,"Restless nights “woke up” about 2 hours before my alarm unfortunately. Tossed and turned and anxiety crept in with memories of my wife, thoughts about reconciling and things I wish I did or things I regret or things she did etc.

It’s not always like this anymore. It’s been a few months of slowly getting much better, and aside from intrusive dreams I often sleep happily and spend most of my days occupied of not-wife thoughts.

But then sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night on my friend’s floor thinking about my shitty life, and it’s exactly like the first night she kicked me out and I took over this cold lonely room of my friend’s house while crying and moving my shit in with trashbags. 

I asked him “What the fuck am I gonna do man?”

“You’ll be alright.” he said.

And sometimes I am.",4.7263636363636365,5.8703135414012735,4.63241459177765,87.2717486971627,69.63694267515922,7.747307469600464,25.737695425593515,8.00094639256281,1.2767503184713376,634,18,130,8,11,195,102,157,0.191,0.725,0.083,-0.9434,0,2,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,4,12,2,2,5,1,8,4,2,0,1,25,20,14,0,2,4,1,0,2,2,2,1,1,1,1,9,12,0,0,4,1,1,2,1,6,0,1,8,2,21,6,19,9,4,21,0,2,0,1,11,10,2,4,11,82,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265225491259092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632221802316588,0.0,0.15079842656213271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14215158247379853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12938822765056493,0.0,0.0,0.13448093739506056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702608052074824,0.09806336724076303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16958233418662544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933852711423371,0.0,0.0,0.2349557611661687,0.14057307311972356,0.07944284358069502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974426574434227,0.17545189818529502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740145963027743,0.14857349907374662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136943379104112,0.1616111781134376,0.11177845804453236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280820090284326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463982059676772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608302277596164,0.0,0.0,0.152165543834359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30077401203571513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303057213465215,0.0974311726859976,0.0,0.2414305312542908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893951200128446,0.0,0.1653929714299444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485658647536534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Laughters_Mother,2018/01/23,"I'm scared, but it won't stop me! My STBXH was emotionally, verbally, financially, and spiritually abusive. And after many meetings with my counselor, I remembered at least one incident where he was sexually abusive. I have decided to report this to the police, at the Rape Crisis Center in town. I've had an appointment with one of their case managers to be with me.


In preparation for this, I consulted with my lawyer and he suggested I ask the court for a temporary custody order, because we have just been going with the our own schedule by verbal agreement. He said he's seen all kinds of reactions during a divorce and said my STBXH could react very unpredictably. He also advised me to consider not releasing our son to my STBXH until I have the order in place. It will take 10 days to get a hearing. 


I emailed STBXH tonight, letting him know I will be asking for a temporary custody order and that until I have it, I won't be releasing our son to him. And he replied that he didn't want our son. He actually said he will sign his rights over...then a few minutes later, he says he's going to tell his lawyer and that he wants to fight.


I'm so confused and sad and scared. He's acting this way over visitation, I literally cannot imagine what he will do after I make the police report. I'm afraid, but that's not going to stop me.  Does anybody have any experience like this? Any words of advice?",4.904759976865243,6.047094498168497,6.0063582032003096,77.59171197223829,69.21978021978022,9.117331791016005,30.485637169847692,9.414487439383343,2.756594139194138,1110,44,208,23,19,370,143,273,0.151,0.807,0.043,-0.9879,0,0,0,0,2,0,33.0,5,0,1,0,4,10,2,4,12,0,23,1,0,2,1,35,42,15,0,3,5,3,0,1,0,6,0,5,0,0,12,15,0,2,4,0,0,5,6,7,0,2,9,6,30,3,32,22,4,30,0,1,1,1,43,11,0,1,11,132,42,7,0.0,0.3315968178958213,0.13655498739402802,0.0,0.0,0.13674147381982588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190483252992436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031926442614724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26163801334775044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530221091156473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172557629284252,0.0,0.0,0.09024558200677524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1224568179351324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15740644177424765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688189136196052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310951945603664,0.0,0.2385824330640989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15771531353969934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571928891741892,0.07690383541182699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14309156526669264,0.0,0.06836447835701004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09340675055135617,0.14187068561188398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18964522921238686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14620080665897153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15851746652971802,0.11950251183944828,0.3993266341465665,0.11128079850385753,0.2801958482788913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339814756266372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052126364218325,0.0,0.12230811582469832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545985766390915,0.16507290083777212,0.111072761598765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,PurpleKAB,2018/01/23,"Best Friend I’ve known him for over 10 years, he has always been in my life, until I got married. We are in love with each other and I miss him. My husband doesn’t care about me so why should I stay with him?",0.7026086956521738,2.0780446956521783,1.977608695652176,101.366847826087,80.30434782608695,4.6000000000000005,15.847826086956525,3.1291,-1.3028521739130436,160,2,41,0,4,51,38,46,0.031,0.687,0.282,0.9349,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,0,7,9,3,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,10,4,8,6,2,6,0,1,0,1,8,3,0,0,2,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2989259973122364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770122477034463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662808106841697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2775567901376959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873262142271862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537499335460048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3242384726225324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38291426098969855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3241685685181636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2313461644716911
divorce,FatAndNotHappy,2018/01/23,"I loathe having to look her in the face Every time I have to be in her presence, I stare at the floor, the wall, my watch, my phone, anything but her face.  Last time we met she refused to talk to me until I looked at her.  It's like she is still trying to control everything even though we are separated now.  She just disgusts me and I can't believe I wasted two decades of my life on her.  I am so unbelievably angry that I have to interact with her until our children are adults.  She makes my blood boil.",3.751648351648349,4.3702597692307705,4.7273626373626385,87.63192307692306,71.5,7.481318681318682,26.395604395604394,7.447530270364453,1.1458450549450552,392,12,86,4,7,128,70,104,0.132,0.807,0.061,-0.8255,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,3,0,0,1,6,2,1,0,3,0,9,5,3,2,0,9,13,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,27,1,15,11,0,14,0,0,4,0,20,7,0,0,8,65,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135389023524205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29235738631139563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2910411116397358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17139129350553256,0.0,0.2186322767515475,0.0,0.2332136907177465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2115197189829073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183286098195368,0.12677414736355844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358140065836462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321219211693942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2072297695975505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856895774962175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2549484937843587,0.0,0.30262246354447203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17617728908079075,0.0,0.2534849058274209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,hazel_atlas,2018/01/23,"ISO advice on selling old ring. divorced < one year. hey, all. I’ve been divorced for nearly one year. In the past six months, I’ve attempted to sell my old ring in a jewelry store, on a website called “I Do Now I Don’t”, and eBay, all to no avail. has anyone had success in selling their ring where you would be willing to share your story with me? thank you in advance. cheers!",0.2812987012987023,2.6543088831168866,1.6649480519480555,96.84027922077922,90.03896103896103,4.118961038961039,20.687012987012988,5.6839178017228535,-0.07600155844155809,292,10,63,2,10,93,56,77,0.028,0.823,0.149,0.8622,0,0,0,0,2,0,15.0,0,3,1,3,2,4,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,2,5,9,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,3,2,3,8,4,12,4,2,16,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,7,40,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2680802892391215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19182377353470315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801301581978637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21897427706566208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5757439609148272,0.0,0.3717975715770365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618870251353628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525739211925272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19488211354588603,0.0,0.0,0.35332984354365005
divorce,ravnfist,2018/01/23,"Contemplating Divorce Hello all,

I’m a 28 year old man looking to divorce his wife of 4 years. I am unhappy in the relationship but have three kids under three that I’m the sole income provider for. I have some questions regarding the “after”:

1. How did you deal with expenses, especially child care?

2. How did the kids transition to only seeing one parent at a time?

3. Did you have to get a second job?

I’m really concerned about getting 50/50 custody, child care expenses, and living in a decent apartment/house and not sure if that’s doable. Any insight would be helpful.

Thanks all.",2.2653667953667984,5.099275234234239,3.6607014157014177,82.93885135135139,84.94594594594594,6.4146718146718165,25.045688545688552,7.7094869923839395,1.8239904761904768,465,19,82,9,14,152,81,111,0.038,0.81,0.153,0.9449,3,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,0,2,0,0,3,4,0,0,8,0,9,0,0,2,3,15,19,6,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,2,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,3,2,5,4,12,14,3,9,0,0,2,0,17,4,0,3,5,50,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468969263036455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338627817788485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21935470265522994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223252371291595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14261405970267876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2455059707749801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21113963773988687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18787824531046127,0.0,0.17867172627158304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326446606576025,0.0,0.14417725922959929,0.16181982672698014,0.0,0.0,0.2362539401507644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383491120565358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136304776471159,0.0,0.0,0.22843345288569805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695487322279111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053153890068334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19588840000191396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406686603284353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15114444607444452,0.0,0.0,0.2740315286625877
divorce,seattlegirl1,2018/01/24,"Move On and Don't Look Back Playlist Ok, disclaimer: this is a bit of a girly playlist, but it totally got me to power through so much of the hard times. What's yours?

---------------------------------------


Best Thing I Never Had - Beyoncé

Apologize - Timbaland, One Republic

Ugly Heart - G.R.L.

Fuck You - Lily Allen

Fight Song - Rachel Platten

Elastic Heart - Sia

Forget You - CeeLo Green

Good Life -  OneRepublic

Fighter - Christina Aguilera

Just the Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Let It Go (from ""Frozen""/Soundtrack Version) - Idina Menzel

Titanium - David Guetta, Sia

The Greatest - Sia, Kendrick Lamar

Beautiful Pain - Eminem, Sia

Chandelier - Sia

Cheap Thrills - Sia

Really Don't Care - Demi Lovato, Cher Lloyd

Hot N Cold - Katy Perry

I Don't Need A Man - The Pussycat Dolls

Somebody That I Used To Love - Gotye, Kimbra

Miss Movin' On - Fifth Harmony

Survivor - Destiny's Child

Part of Me - Katy Perry

Hold On - Wilson Phillips

Wait a Minute - The Pussycat Dolls, Timbaland

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divorce,NonbearingTrauma,2018/01/24,"JOB ! JOB!! JOB !!! HOPE! HOPE !! HOPE!!! Did I mention I have been offered a job?  It's not just a job.  It will set me up for the foreseeable future.

I have been hurting for so long and without hope that I began believing I wasn't worth anything to anyone.  Over a year.

Then I reached out to a very very very old contact.  Then they told two friends - and they told two friends and so on and so on ....

And today find myself accepting a position that will free me from the financial chains of this process.

Things are not perfect and will never be but people listen and heed my words - IT DOES GET BETTER !!!!  Stay with the ship and you'll find your own personal rescue.

Thank you Lord !",0.6086549707602344,3.095374781954888,1.6645989974937372,96.2886612364244,90.65413533834587,4.7600668337510434,20.170843776106935,6.42735559955562,0.18666282372598167,518,17,110,6,18,162,85,133,0.048,0.745,0.207,0.9724,5,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,3,2,2,4,12,0,0,8,0,12,0,0,0,2,25,22,14,0,4,5,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,1,7,10,0,0,3,0,2,0,5,1,0,2,7,1,15,12,13,10,1,16,1,1,0,0,14,5,0,4,9,75,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815478190253297,0.0,0.09597350577545667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139789984190714,0.0,0.1031464827510059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10206045901923744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131886464084167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18021037654713595,0.0,0.06093242695814219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4633449148813623,0.0,0.0,0.12485086377510116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5786680235082898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321060341983164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994939054406415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12237968074670084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08085399018202173,0.10183358463691213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243081156904654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737382565461777,0.0,0.0,0.07748132993607429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105480934333676,0.22288285066221836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278538927138333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2886867290080131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11242358913195488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510351195424944
divorce,john2kxx,2018/01/24,"Sad, angry, hopeless.. I need a bit of advice. I'm a 36M, father of two (4yo boy and 2yo girl), soon to be divorced.  :( 

My wife is an EM doctor, making around $250K after taxes.  I've struggled in my career because I took a year off (4 years ago) to take care of my newborn son.  When I couldn't get back into grad school the next year, I became sort of stuck as a stay-at-home dad for a couple of years after that, taking jobs here and there that were below my skill level.  So I guess that would make me the primary caretaker of the kids.

Over the last 4 years, my wife has been unhappy with our relationship, but I only found out about it last summer.  She had been acting cold towards me for a few months before that.  At that point, I told her I would do whatever it took to save our marriage.  I didn't want our kids to grow up in a broken home.  For the next few months, I worked at it, but she became colder and seemed to have made up her mind already about separation.

We went to marriage counseling, but just before the 4th session, I found out that she had already made up her mind, and all of it was pointless.  I also found out that she had been talking to a friend and planning divorce terms (mitigation, alimony, custody) for weeks, while I stupidly thought there was hope at fixing things.

There are other issues between us as well, like disagreements on how to raise our kids, etc.  Typical stuff.  Probably too many to list.

Has anyone else been through a similar situation?  I want our kids to be affected as little as possible by this.  I'm kind of desperate for advice. If there is any missing information here, I'll do my best to fill in the blanks in the comments.   Thank you.",3.891339285714289,4.957739264880956,4.865833333333335,85.11250000000003,71.52976190476191,7.742857142857144,25.904761904761905,8.07648339933343,1.4382404761904763,1307,40,268,18,24,427,197,336,0.099,0.815,0.086,0.3607,1,0,0,0,2,1,55.0,7,1,0,4,18,14,1,1,18,0,24,1,0,6,1,42,51,18,0,8,5,5,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,7,15,12,0,0,6,0,1,6,2,5,1,1,22,1,37,9,56,24,7,50,0,3,0,0,37,23,0,5,22,181,52,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900288608562656,0.08619070534751631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145968655061867,0.07775675973038075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612140414976919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798719382430146,0.09962614131105543,0.0,0.08655750009101527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476575666680982,0.0,0.059272002543296114,0.0,0.16547531666095164,0.0,0.10203946353886204,0.0,0.10615265868859428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09913496883578968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075858628912856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09952153854721818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08122524017896876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10843989039489964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3198311071289466,0.07512155411326739,0.0,0.05079994500529262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10711251208741364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097532080962372,0.0965737677354648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10148542201299328,0.09648820911314243,0.0,0.0,0.1012526401252936,0.0,0.15851485775079388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04750286647609568,0.09745246453942544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840074012172174,0.1298068384647324,0.0985784488883244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19635412489068332,0.0,0.15522003704828746,0.0,0.0,0.07209663390715104,0.0,0.0,0.20681563952652854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07394966405654545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191609898641136,0.10961498440786864,0.0,0.0,0.10483303264417357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10439126923967702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09840443620728803,0.0,0.08851677591485542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929335413789053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036368606345716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016484741744729,0.11130789916712057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621341198405646,0.07815176482809219,0.0,0.08951858165783404,0.0,0.0,0.06459692311933336,0.0,0.0,0.07719170889105056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09290977826996404,0.2160576719580495,0.0,0.0,0.09498198083473723,0.0,0.11695867234506042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470044320925353,0.0,0.07799401102754404,0.0,0.08742365486350638,0.09013546060616287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707863858155218,0.0,0.0,0.1381422936520086,0.0,0.0,0.3130725680433766
divorce,yakamoz79,2018/01/24,"Joint physical custody being confused with exact 50/50? Hi everyone. I am in California with joint Physical Custody. Ex thinks it means 50/50. In our court order we do not have any wording of 50/50 it just says joint physical custody. Our parenting table is designed where we can have equal time: like alternating 3+4. We also say we have right for vacation time equal to the paid or unpaid tine off from work. Ex is pushing for exact 50/50 and asks the following:
1. Asking me to take same amount of vacation per year as he does. We work at same company so we get equal time off but he does not use it all. I don't want him to limit how much vacation i can take with our DD. I am a full time working mom i want to use my vacation with our DD to makeup all these times i am away from her for work.
2. He loses a net of 2 weeks of his parenting time per year due to his business trips and asking me to comoensate him for every single one of those days. Asking for lot of interruptions to my parenting days for compensation. Our court order says per trip we can swap 3 days week to 4 week which i do. Court order does not say every day shall be compensated.
3. We live in different school districts. He lives in expensive part of the town and our DD goes to elementary school at his school district. Ex is saying if we do not make it exact 50/50 then our DD can be kicked out of school. I wrote to the school principal to clarify this . Can this be true? 

If he is 2 weeks shy in parenting times it makes his time 46.15% which can be rounded up to 50%. By the way i hate these formulas to be ran through but he does.

He threatened me saying if i dont provide makeup time for every single day of his business trips he will take me to court and demand his lawyer fees as a sanction. 

Please give me some feedback and wisdom. 

Thanks.
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divorce,meh1285,2018/01/24,"How do you approach your next wedding after your divorce? Apologies if this has been asked before, but I've searched and couldn't find any subjects on this.

After completing my divorce a few years ago, I finally got back out in the dating world and was introduced to my now fiancé through some mutual friends. She's never been married before.  Now that we've started planning for our wedding, some things just seem a bit awkward and weird about all of it.  For instance, I feel awkward asking my best friend to be my best man again, or that somehow the failure of my last marriage means people at the wedding will be thinking about my divorce the entire time.  Do I do another bachelor party? My parents have said they will be giving me a much smaller wedding gift this time (which is absolutely their prerogative and honestly I don't expect anything from them) but it almost makes me feel like they don't think this will work out either.

For those that have gone through a divorce and then another wedding, how did you approach it?  Did you do anything different?  I'm absolutely in love with, and want to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé, but how do you keep the cynicism of ""Well, I've done this before and these vows to stay together ultimately may or may not be true""",8.485936639118457,7.490604301652894,7.878305785123968,74.49806473829202,61.768595041322314,10.546005509641878,38.76170798898072,9.516144504307137,3.635255096418733,1019,45,183,15,12,320,142,242,0.062,0.768,0.171,0.9878,2,0,0,0,4,0,23.0,1,6,4,4,12,13,1,2,10,0,27,2,0,4,3,44,45,17,0,4,9,1,2,1,2,5,1,1,0,1,15,11,0,1,7,0,1,3,5,4,1,0,9,3,27,9,26,26,10,28,0,0,0,1,32,7,0,10,18,140,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080048781598494,0.0,0.13646076990987774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926723809042384,0.28579462198308025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22428714034916436,0.0,0.2547994046225389,0.0,0.0,0.10478786362017067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478826207573824,0.0,0.28602659468388125,0.0,0.148778141457865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288283610446914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423794578447909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945770385296608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13781052181351264,0.09735563083525256,0.0,0.1492837416658412,0.1245538325173925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105730622760035,0.0,0.0,0.1307283960212891,0.0,0.0,0.10899239894648942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12112840664166387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108316183961447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09625579783619516,0.06657759000617476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12299444746775805,0.0,0.09096531548945196,0.0,0.0,0.14844455921071015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017857017040928,0.0,0.1051044838795372,0.0,0.14493111549585128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513184162171899,0.0,0.0,0.09447664799373516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12962972177801904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12406058944870775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645688314512478,0.1452521274758805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09053574620099113,0.1746403688234973,0.0,0.0,0.15892731068222496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803791397026012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225285268473812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992105808018191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08775730234242209
divorce,z3m,2018/01/24,"The idea of having to see him regularly for the next 15 years is overwhelmingly terrifying I left my marriage due to abuse.  We were together 9 years, married for 2.  I always knew he was abusive, but for some reason, managed to do mental gymnastics around it.  It wasn't until I was forced to file a restraining order that I realized ""Holy shit!  He's assaulted me over half a dozen times in the last 6 months alone!  WTF?!""  I guess because he never like punched me in the face, he never took a belt to me, it wasn't like a classic beat down.  It was more random outbursts, like one night he *thought* I was going to slam a door so he grabbed me by the back of the head and pushed me down the stairs until I fell.  Or one morning he woke me up by slapping me as hard as he could on the ass, leaving a huge bruise and scaring the shit out of, only to later tell me he thought it was funny.  Or, who could forget the time he called the cops on me for breaking a glass change bowl but before the cops got there he assaulted me with a large shard of broken glass.  He was shocked the cops wanted to arrest *him* and not his bleeding wife.  He really thought that because he called them they would arrest me, like it's a who got there first kind of thing.

And this is just a few examples of the physical stuff.  The real bulk of the damage was done prior to getting married.  He went through a phase where he started habitually raping me.  He claimed it was all I brought to the table and if I wasn't willing to give it for free he had the right to take it from me.  I left him.  Not soon enough, but I did.  For some reason, less than a year later I took him back.  He knew the only way I would is if we got pregnant, got married, so that's what he did.  I got pregnant, we were married six months later.  He promised never to rape me again.  How romantic.  WTF WAS I THINKING?  I was thinking, ok, so may be he's a shitty husband, but he'll be a good father.  He's not a drunk, he works hard, he'll be a decent provider.  Little did I realize you can't be a good father if you're a shitty husband.  It's not a thing where you set a horrible example of what it is to be a human being but still get to be considered a good person to parent.

However, the vast majority of the abuse on a regular basis was emotional and verbal.  Constant complaints, constant nitpicking, constant unrelenting insults and belittling.  I was always on eggshells.  Every little mistake was the end of the world.  The loss of a key or the missing of an offramp was call for screaming meltdown, accusations of mental retardation, and threats of divorce.

Finally I told him I was going to let him subject our kid to this behavior and that I was going to my mothers.  My mother rents a house from us and I'd been remodeling the basement in anticipation for this.  However, I didn't realize I wasn't going home at this point.  I tried to convince him to get counseling.  Things were even looking up a little at one point, but overall things just got worse.  Finally, after the second or third time he grabbed steering wheel from me while I drove with our kid in the back screaming WHORE or whatever it was he was screaming I sent him an email basically saying if he can't stop threatening me with divorce, divorce me already.  I was served 48 hours later.

When I saw what he wrote in those papers I was horrified.  Not so much for me but for him.  What he was insisting on was not only impossible but would make him look terrible.  He was asking for the house in it's entirety, the cars, *and* full custody of our child including child support payments and alimony.  Wtf.  I was a stay at home mom from the day she was born and he was arguing that I was not the primary caregiver.

I tried to convince him not to do this to himself, but he was certain he could convince the courts of these lies.  I begged him to refile.  I offered to pay the legal fees.  But, he wouldn't listen.  Then one day he flipped out.  I'd gone up north to visit a friend like I usually do on the weekends.  He called all my friends and family threatening them.  He pounded on our neighbors door terrorizing the neighborhood.  He threatened to kill me, burn down the house, claimed the police were looking for me for kidnapping.  I filed the restraining order that day.

Of course his ridiculous demands all got slapped down in court.  He had never watched her for more than three straight days by himself.  I had police reports detailing DV.  I had an emergency restraining order, I had text messages and emails threatening violence and arson, alleging false reports to the police.  He then claimed he never even owned a gun, which was proven a lie so he is now in contempt of court.  He has vandalized my car tires half a dozen times but since I don't have proof it was him the cops wont do anything.

He has tried everything to get the restraining order lifted.  He has accused me of being a drug addict to rx pills, which I got a drs note and a pharmacy print out to prove is untrue.  He claimed I was paralyzed for months after my c-section and that he did everything.  I got a drs not proving that a lie.  I found his gun proof of purchase, proving that was a lie.  He accused me of being mentally retarded and unfit to parent because he's of the opinion I'm bad at math siting some stupid psyche article.  The judge was having none of it.

However, for some inexplicable reason he has been awarded the right to two overnights a month.  I don't really understand how someone who is known to be violent and in possession of a subpeonaed firearm can get any kind of custody that's not supervised, but may be I just didn't fight it hard enough.  I was desperate to have some help.

Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to see this person regularly for the rest of my daughters life.  I've cursed her with an abusive father and for some reason, despite being convicted of domestic violence the courts are still going to make me see my abuser regularly for the rest of my natural life.  I just don't know if I can deal with that!  It's overwhelmingly terrifying.  The idea of spending the next 15 years of my life battling the guy who raped me, assaulted me, cut me, belittled me for years, called me mentally ""retarded"" wtf, and on top of all of this I'm forced to hand my precious daughter over to him.

This. Is. Torture.",3.3015161649944247,5.141664419484703,4.506308373590983,84.02515189520624,74.28985507246377,7.707679920723399,28.12588257153475,8.472884824447931,2.0793866963953915,4947,201,972,91,104,1625,469,1242,0.21,0.706,0.084,-0.9996,6,1,1,3,8,1,140.0,8,2,3,6,29,58,20,5,94,1,109,22,6,8,15,137,173,59,1,14,36,13,6,5,3,10,11,5,7,8,53,34,1,5,23,2,6,18,29,36,0,14,82,19,123,23,148,65,23,142,0,5,8,5,142,54,3,21,67,652,176,11,0.0,0.27840962311284345,0.0,0.051231978324436316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048673114097606586,0.05186064873908194,0.0,0.07820795983472201,0.0,0.0,0.031958518188581794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03867325185979948,0.04183591495956666,0.04393440271856013,0.0,0.0,0.10840980277311592,0.03923923854183072,0.08594397210907721,0.0,0.03998966737980877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23993804913106564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971495573052685,0.0,0.0,0.15235616111092684,0.0,0.11256613058643287,0.0,0.0,0.1212327121040066,0.048450246365973317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04809266279376485,0.0,0.0,0.0544998030336239,0.0,0.0,0.052863556903818255,0.04162402055271658,0.09711772701420472,0.0,0.06208010425544967,0.0,0.039595694322431436,0.0,0.08447296205911732,0.0,0.04430312866749639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10296243879214144,0.0,0.03997430657030877,0.0,0.051528086282533324,0.07261713765320175,0.0,0.12276591727795805,0.045082318822990505,0.16025158671236586,0.11825266371800874,0.3382789971667076,0.0,0.051770787535252986,0.04653288505462876,0.0,0.0,0.12629607961131792,0.0,0.04823089086247773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031500060150097126,0.0,0.09428053815511958,0.0,0.04628105267290749,0.1626793219983191,0.0,0.10610428763287101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051993503520677296,0.0978770606188773,0.02582747080482006,0.03830756492341433,0.0,0.04976139694845992,0.1021213899277006,0.048056032635443176,0.0995828304794467,0.1147980175108982,0.1413053639991199,0.0,0.0,0.118393028073322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273965686936989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944144443769834,0.0,0.0,0.0550405041635711,0.15004528234167422,0.0,0.034547063814033496,0.0,0.1812289447508987,0.0,0.09996039047387367,0.044102047157282664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273813352618057,0.10722647443046794,0.0,0.0,0.10436577348631132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08206923014073403,0.0,0.0,0.08885178283955017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349111179450869,0.060212978531546626,0.19327660263101226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026771666478813,0.0,0.03737266885460745,0.047050644823508514,0.0,0.11234786965646404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09648031011449706,0.03887512266330957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03981909308380889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033263622066565406,0.05009089776882839,0.07506125567010477,0.03929030131107295,0.0,0.0,0.05379854777445266,0.0,0.053329880816604606,0.0,0.0,0.03533473045825648,0.0,0.0410760955385216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248867575624733,0.060225574751054126,0.0,0.1119274158341189,0.10961370150506154,0.054014357556743824,0.0,0.04490616732839168,0.10442735038436214,0.09572047899759503,0.0,0.04590772687190543,0.04892392182239271,0.05652974109541865,0.0,0.05175884975396442,0.0,0.027719134580372617,0.0373028015058097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04356525385779046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03421324800461332,0.0,0.047892379451599236,0.10015265996825178,0.0,0.0,0.1513176480266139
divorce,therealmrsmith2,2018/01/24,"Need help starting - 11 years 2 kids georgia Hello everyone,
           I am wanting to initiate the divorce. I’m 33M and STBXM is 32F. Married 11 years 2 kids (10F and 8F). We have had a myriad of issues from money, family decisions, time spend and more. We dated for a while and I got her pregnant. I thought I was doing what was right by marrying her and putting a roof over our heads. I work in tech support and knew my Geek Squad job wasn’t going to be enough. I put her thru college and she graduated with her MOA…… pregnant. Right before baby comes she “lost” her job (I still cannot get a straight forward story on this) and she becomes a stay at home mom. 
            Financially I can support it, but it does have a burden on our relationship. I worked 40 to 60 hours an hour away from home. I would come home and cook, clean and give her a break from watching the baby all day. Intimacy is lost and when I did advanced, she rejected me hard. We talked about it and it started turning into arguments that all I want is sex. 
            One afternoon she sits me down and explains that its her hormones and she apologies for the issues we have had and she wants to work on them. The mood swings are slowly fading and I found out that she had her IUD removed. She said that was causing her issues. We move on in our life and I got a nice promotion and we decide that its time to have another child.
            Fast forward and we are still having issues with intimacy, money, time and family decisions. She’s is having girl time with her friends every weekend and some during the week day. I work, take care of the kids and house hold. We have one of the largest arguments I can remember and she brought up the topic of divorce. She told me that if im not happy then I need to leave her. She guilt tripped me hard. She a stay at home mom and she hasn’t work in years.
            Every fight from here on out ends with “find someone else that makes you happy” or “We just need a divorce”. When I do throw my ring across the dead bedroom at her and leave, she knows just how to cry, just how to pull me back with the guilt trip of kids and lack of a family. That’s when the resentment started. The hate and disgust building. Why do I stay? I love my kids….

Biggest issues are:
1.	Financial problems: Its like that old saying; “If I had a $5 and my wife has $25, she has $30 to spend”. We live check to check and she does all of the bill paying. Many times I have had to not eat to pay a bill or borrow money for gas. During these years the kids are old enough to start Pre-K and she wants to work in this field. I put her back thru school and she starts as an assistance and is now a pair-pro. Its shitty pay, but she is happy working… finally. I make 85% of the household income and pay almost all of the bills. Her income pays rent and insurance. My company has trash for insurance and we save by switching.
2.	Responsibility issues- The kids ride the bus to my parents and she picks them up after she leaves work. Im not home for another 3 to 4 hours. When I would come home the house is a mess. All 3 of them on their electronics and not lift a finger. I ask for them to pick up after themselves and its left with more arguments about being tired or a hard day at work. I cook every night so the kids and I can have a hot meal. After dinner I help with homework and put the kids to bed. All while she is on Facebook on her phone or chatting with her mother.
3.	Contempt and Resentment issues- She cannot and wont apologize. She is stubborn and good a manipulation tactics. She has an issue and she will rip me to shreds infront of the kids. I ask her to do this another time and another place and she refuses. Her justification is that they will see it anyway. Remember the guilt trips, yes everything I do isn’t good enough. Every issue I have, my problem. Complain about sex, im addicted and its my problem.
4.	Nothing in common- After I deal with the kids, I retreat to my office. Where I spend my evening playing games or watching movies. I have taken up new skills and have rebult offroad vehicles. Maybe she will like exploring and camping with me, but no. She isn’t interested in my hobbies and vice versa. I am not into the latest fads on facebook. I don’t follow, tag and comment on everything she does. She portrays this family as the perfect most happy place to be. 

I could go on and on with issues and problems. I have to get out, its making me frustrated at myself for going this far. For years she convinced me that all these problem were my problems. That I am the one to blame. I felt like a monster for years, putting on the fake smile because that’s what we are supposed to do. I told my self that one day I will leave. One day I will finally find somebody that will make me happy. I will finally listen to her and do it.
That day came. This past weekend. I told her that I was depressed and didn’t like where this marriage has went. It was like a switch, her personality perked up she was interested in me…. She had sex with me and I didn’t ask. That’s when I knew. Shes doing this to keep me. I don’t have feelings for her anymore.
I don’t know what to do… I am in Georgia and know that at best I will have 50/50, pay support and Im fine with that. From reading on this group, I need to have an exit plan. I am just afraid that I will loose my kids and end up living in a box eating cat food.
",1.4834900890644889,3.58507769890511,2.9953365030469428,91.49664668854216,80.86131386861314,5.919828567601956,22.190082367909998,7.074884465207338,0.6189317719145517,4162,133,898,52,109,1362,404,1096,0.14300000000000002,0.765,0.092,-0.9962,6,1,0,0,4,0,129.0,15,1,6,16,25,55,8,4,54,1,94,16,2,11,8,175,158,82,1,20,19,5,7,5,1,12,3,4,11,15,49,93,7,4,19,8,19,27,18,27,0,5,34,14,165,27,125,108,16,149,0,4,3,4,134,57,0,10,69,607,214,22,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04272966512674288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039249352215701465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16440261603353604,0.0,0.0,0.038872117671678814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992952314777854,0.0,0.036826138732938406,0.06027894712707841,0.0,0.02389365176457495,0.043289145243459067,0.033353096084795066,0.0,0.04113401443220464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044830033422803166,0.039963158344854297,0.040265314797658144,0.0,0.10129221797961907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031294992059528334,0.0,0.04305520690275033,0.1516699147690397,0.04040958148084573,0.033759646651622316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10290262817361501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08021503633985319,0.032743412067317595,0.0,0.0694324333205734,0.12150051849182784,0.0,0.025888733488585586,0.0,0.13209802269543616,0.0374536677056726,0.07045406988175007,0.0,0.14780283049317147,0.0,0.019818786429463917,0.0,0.03763451776561335,0.12881262858014098,0.07164926953760005,0.0,0.0473962245288234,0.042976631851524116,0.03028290216253369,0.0,0.04095681412921337,0.03760058559996349,0.06682834491463037,0.06575185897913757,0.062697595183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086255239703101,0.10533634197057824,0.03869815220271772,0.040226629591915766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052544799779629364,0.0,0.2359020257519027,0.0,0.11580114298357487,0.09045435005474822,0.0,0.0,0.16935457381922814,0.409106699404684,0.07779240008814814,0.034839401087544665,0.0,0.0,0.06462365194480311,0.0,0.0,0.1660125489889532,0.042586807464810035,0.0,0.02768544919225688,0.09574646550619256,0.0,0.06922196032682497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08557460813530601,0.0,0.03537611866345032,0.0,0.1046551242358032,0.039738814755061434,0.03937787108723409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181227773102464,0.0,0.04165937852206818,0.0,0.11625400121868178,0.0,0.03785595329929439,0.0,0.03678299702776987,0.0,0.03760982999554231,0.0,0.08225967826586505,0.0,0.13280186460558202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04352276349278233,0.0,0.037417226913521014,0.0,0.034224627232972885,0.08190341433543831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250329325187321,0.0,0.19701513467824386,0.0,0.0,0.03920682682199498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04208207125535935,0.08880335230209735,0.06694671503518232,0.037284580843630184,0.03117040718078888,0.0,0.0396686669917854,0.03123431240362566,0.0,0.040890205596193635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03321082981310927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871643046906618,0.12533386514994582,0.06260430347751357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13343821709042095,0.0,0.0,0.029470679235997162,0.03150443672331422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03111742023576718,0.13713378572714624,0.04505028862676097,0.0,0.1123610031170178,0.0,0.0,0.04263423163002585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247578383343427,0.0,0.0314408432185717,0.0,0.0,0.03633528841530271,0.035368491758872286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22828251852816445,0.0,0.0,0.05568773985777997,0.0,0.0,0.15144648259330395
divorce,bford06,2018/01/24,"Any positive or encouraging stories or thoughts? This thread has been very helpful for myself and so many others, however, I’ve noticed that the majority of the posts, advice, comments, etc. are all highly negative. Is there anyone out there who has been on either side of divorce who has any positive or encouraging thoughts to share? Has divorce been a good thing for any of you? Any positive stories regarding children being ok after divorce? Do things go back to normal or maybe even end up better than before? Would love to get some positive and encouraging conversation going. ",7.702107496463933,9.510275306930694,7.6787270155586995,65.70881188118814,63.257425742574256,10.523903818953325,37.20084865629421,10.608840637214634,4.588447241867042,470,23,68,12,7,151,72,101,0.03,0.644,0.326,0.9899,1,0,0,0,3,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,5,8,0,0,3,1,12,1,0,0,1,14,18,7,0,2,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,5,0,2,8,13,11,5,11,0,0,0,1,15,5,0,5,3,53,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1822905389015511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5074305593824756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304372624746752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14344231726446854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873685982807445,0.0,0.0,0.16498472926361768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16522433790718508,0.0,0.20804804038122635,0.12321183761939912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09746255710271624,0.0,0.2120367195154614,0.1564658884391363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12503781502185107,0.19709603346125573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16836499901733018,0.0,0.0,0.1891283091521955,0.1874104756934942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18277541909597367,0.0,0.2123837953240361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17865944968823025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478656741664531,0.0,0.0,0.29619328662133176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15391994167609147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325168873899013,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,peacockestate,2018/01/24,"Financial question I currently have control of finances, nothing has been filed yet.  I make 8-900/mo, spouse makes 4500.  I will request child support, I believe that will be around 1200. I will pursue selling house that is in our name as part of divorce, he lives there now, I do not. I don't trust him to make payments so I'd like to maintain control of that myself, and therefore I'd like to give him half our cash minus 5 mo of mortgage payments so that I can continue to make sure it gets paid.  What portion of the mortgage would it be reasonable that he pay every month? 100%? 50%? If he pays 100%, that will leave him with very little money, but it's hard for me to feel sorry, he cheated on me twice. Yes-I get the standard 'get a lawyer', but is there anything he can really do if I am keeping funds for a reasonable thing, continue to pay the mortgage, and he is the one living there?  Should I be responsible to pay a portion of it? No debts to divide.  ",3.619541080680975,4.719337056994822,4.582283493708363,86.76374352331608,72.21243523316063,7.172316802368616,29.32975573649149,7.447530270364453,1.6558263508512208,744,30,153,8,14,242,114,193,0.09,0.847,0.064,-0.5996,5,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,2,0,0,2,8,6,1,0,7,0,21,0,0,9,1,26,33,9,0,4,5,1,2,2,0,6,0,0,0,1,12,4,0,3,4,0,11,0,3,1,0,3,2,2,18,5,21,22,3,10,0,0,0,0,18,4,0,3,8,98,30,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262219821804942,0.13654430022266228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728112695101832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440664497427631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1292326552033618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07755557095939677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404104647709465,0.14713993185160532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740195736972174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698456939391166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633476766322075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241153398931096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987137231848788,0.15373108698284702,0.27088180576457416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4095401069496195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12242966419436895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14717610734498587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393698393809284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609995029413915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718252099107246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826173308099416,0.3154086444765363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17170085658115747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17405837219286396,0.14456262693002014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10190152967208957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265578830677422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089596094967684,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RadlerSnek,2018/01/24,"I feel so terribly guilty and lost. Hi all. I’m a first time poster and just looking for some advice on to handle the messy emotions and circumstances that come with a separation.

I’m 32/f and STBX is a 35/m. We have a 5 year old son and own our house. We’ve been together almost 8 years. I haven’t ever been truly happy with stbx. I stayed with him so long and had a child with him because I thought the unhappiness was due to my own issues and that I could train myself to be happy with him. 

Long story short (well as short as I can make it). I grew up in a really violent and abusive home. Since high school I dated and was attracted to violent “bad boys”. Obviously these relationships never worked out and they broke my soul each time...but it was the only way I knew how to live. Then came along stbx. He treated me like a queen, he had a good job and amazing family, a strong moral compass. I wasn’t attracted to him but I thought he’d be good for me so I forced myself into the relationship. I know I’m so selfish. I even went to a therapist who validated my feelings- that I’m uncomfortable with him because of the fact that I’m not programmed to be in a stable relationship and my mind was trained from a young age to live in fight/flight mode. So I stayed thinking if I got therapy that I’d be able to accept this “normal “ relationship and life would be perfect.

I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve also realized it’s not just me, he has issues too and our personalities just don’t jive. I told him yesterday I want a separation and I need time to myself to sort out my issues. He is so broken now. He cried all night while I slept like a baby. He told me he’s not going to accept this and that he’ll work through it with me. I’ve been persistent that I’m serious but he’s just not accepting this at all. I feel so guilty. 

I guess my questions are:
-should I try to ease his pain a bit? Maybe tell him that I just need time to heal myself and we can reevaluate at that time? (Which might be true but I also don’t want to give him false hope). 
-what’s the best way to tell a 5 year old? Any advice at all regarding kids? I feel so guilty for doing this to our child too :(
-any words of encouragement or general advice at all in these very early stages of separation?

Thank you.
",1.5177146198830411,3.4549157515789517,3.4319298245614043,89.2579532163743,79.90526315789474,6.916959064327487,21.08187134502924,7.946510646118237,0.8325836257309942,1782,50,396,32,45,600,225,475,0.136,0.732,0.133,-0.6762,1,0,0,0,1,0,53.0,5,1,1,9,23,30,2,0,22,0,34,4,1,2,11,92,69,37,0,10,15,1,4,2,0,4,3,0,1,5,23,33,0,0,14,0,0,5,10,9,1,1,20,5,59,21,49,37,11,50,2,2,1,0,45,16,0,9,26,249,82,5,0.08282950853013284,0.09813942322674044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2428201113088169,0.0,0.0,0.08294178809520998,0.0,0.0,0.13247745609214007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265381229072985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214461550900859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06915917983177826,0.10098419920853194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08692445902779472,0.0,0.09042837066027852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473489172562306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713502873727979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613262266286014,0.0,0.0909843257462668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317204854934064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05470810920045285,0.07492403254436171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07808428900472858,0.0,0.16752435304440258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045473764225695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945761208870028,0.04707391850444762,0.13894692387132154,0.0662463245911523,0.0,0.09124604192730344,0.0,0.0,0.17634710407755816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751392341767003,0.08308475056104564,0.0822683913217954,0.0,0.09557413194108162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593574613706345,0.08219550641332365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04552093170937505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058504931434416374,0.08093262797548087,0.0,0.14627994707810082,0.14660301711307958,0.0695559260205226,0.0,0.0904181930861242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528934012553823,0.0,0.08321337436115173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786901911177651,0.08363419157676337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283406209240362,0.06388322325566742,0.0,0.0,0.07772988273074108,0.08115533198968149,0.0,0.0,0.17383127155862013,0.0,0.0,0.06299557367776862,0.0881364369906303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07232353196543212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927880059772972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053062704135185185,0.0,0.0,0.35571157633253825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382788468890692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851742539264956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17657047055266314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14479328262741475,0.07625828295911356,0.09472276166745397,0.09617144348729643,0.0,0.05307380455714153,0.0,0.13151475525408104,0.2414927626059169,0.0,0.0,0.15829428996229802,0.0,0.05623579922022423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834301914524121,0.0977099803392777,0.13149241694989627,0.0,0.0,0.07447367559266645,0.07678378424076912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12060173740924422,0.0,0.0,0.05883970636510818,0.0,0.0,0.1600184634638846
divorce,jackRipper3243,2018/01/24,"Considering the ""D"" word Hey everyone,

I'm in my early 30's, so is my wife. We own a home and have been a couple for about 10 years, married for 6, we do not have children.

A few weeks ago I believed we were fine, we were having fun, laughing, and excited for the future. There was one co-worker that she admitted she had mixed feelings for, but stated they were just friends. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she was unhappy and she wanted to separate, but still live together, still be financially dependent on each other, still retire together, but she wants to sleep with other people. She said she brought this up to me to be fair, so she wouldn't be cheating behind my back, and even said she'd stay with me if I gave her my blessing to sleep with other people. When I said I didn't want that, that if we're going to be married I want us to be with each other and no one else, she said I didn't get a say.

Now, she's got a date set up with her co-worker, she's planning on spending the night. She's also stopped talking to me for the most part, and has been extremely flirty with other men. She says that if I try to divorce her she'll take me for all of the alimony that she can get for the rest of our lives. I don't think she can do that, as I read generally the ruling is based off from the ability to earn (we have the same level of education, she makes about 12K less than me per year) and that generally they go for half of the length of time we were married.

Is there anything I should try to do? In my state it's legal to record a conversation if you're one of the parties in the conversation. Should I start recording and get her admitting to sleeping with another person while we're still married? If I do go for divorce, do you think that recording would help? What can I expect with alimony?

EDIT

I've suggested we try therapy, she said that's too much work and she's not interested.",4.947146325314499,4.708004502538078,5.975641138821455,82.73136504082986,68.69543147208121,9.288722136393732,29.059368792760978,8.964715089967882,2.0343355992054732,1490,47,323,24,23,497,186,394,0.037000000000000005,0.862,0.101,0.9736,0,0,0,0,2,0,46.0,9,1,2,3,17,8,1,0,19,0,39,3,3,2,1,60,67,23,0,14,11,1,1,0,1,5,0,7,1,3,18,26,0,1,5,1,1,4,7,1,0,4,20,8,61,7,51,36,11,38,1,0,0,0,61,9,0,7,21,237,79,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694700620387681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07644352626139019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10023476145145564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07866266990446934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350303823140031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769753108308068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21153769174028425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985342756358088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313648987141056,0.0,0.0,0.09134062555779232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048333326511287016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385282661682588,0.0,0.1498259550766229,0.0,0.16297850660349975,0.0,0.0764522931370628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407216136209516,0.0,0.0958848622065467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1688159677251382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0638072657573061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026986731873043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970501860617659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432337815841574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351497683226668,0.0,0.1325405524943129,0.08346576056337818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561616545005712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4546413137265944,0.15203448234540426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28697799458271994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676593044705712,0.10188653828988603,0.3053541397965619,0.0799177688414872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187200725394703,0.07683186012027253,0.0,0.0,0.10931583580592363,0.0,0.0,0.1225008055599718,0.0,0.0,0.05573947110627328,0.0,0.0,0.09134062555779232,0.0,0.19469861158255725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498335799882455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255265361638734,0.0,0.1533535412455136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087726248547693,0.0,0.0,0.06790460462352578,0.0,0.0,0.12311403489512425
divorce,Lifeasitisbyme,2018/01/24,"Our anniversary would have been this past Saturday I guess this is more of a coping post. Our divorce was final on December and our anniversary would have been this past weekend. I guess I still call it our since part of me can't comprehend that I am no longer married. 

I asked a friend to stay with me all weekend and just watch movies with me. I didn't want to go out or drink or anything, I just wanted to cry when I felt like it and be quiet but not be alone. It was the saddest weekend of my life. 

Although, I know this is what is best. It still doesn't make it any easier. He texted me to see how I was doing that day, which doesn't help either. Now that the dreadful holidays are over, I am hopeful it'll be much manageable and the pressure to ""get over it"" will go away as my healing process slowly continues.",3.578632734530938,4.606724622754495,4.251871257485032,89.36587075848307,72.23353293413173,7.7223552894211585,26.491516966067863,8.07648339933343,1.4039025948103796,640,21,139,9,12,204,102,167,0.111,0.758,0.131,0.6717,0,1,1,0,1,0,16.0,4,0,0,1,7,6,0,2,5,0,25,3,0,2,1,26,38,11,0,5,7,0,1,1,1,4,2,1,0,0,16,7,1,0,2,5,0,2,6,2,0,0,7,4,21,4,16,24,6,22,0,0,2,0,10,5,0,5,14,105,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17396008773949795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422130535887386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13822009155221152,0.0,0.15702370175815358,0.0,0.15780774244417786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17626789499401035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715100619828088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18450060841466545,0.108322908989438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16454081235546314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127181645722502,0.18399639326790448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129768598863529,0.0,0.08775427723102552,0.0,0.190915666699642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700626478887396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125827539310828,0.0,0.0,0.16682618822165454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09230864247325304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863796710447135,0.08205874462221137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11211729941764982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234728938892123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818886848381437,0.3206813589969407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16086311855495602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13384559165861415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389415876664777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902731584712994,0.26827259492834465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813908245092895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386336664971803,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,MeTarzanAaaaahhh,2018/01/24,"Wedding ring   What should I do with my (m49) wedding ring?   I was married 14 years.   She filed.   

   Give it to my kids?
   Throw it away?

    I feel it’s a curse.   I want rid of it.  ",-3.587229729729728,-2.810436918918917,-1.0294932432432446,110.68116554054056,120.8918918918919,1.85,12.733108108108109,3.1291,-2.0549432432432417,122,3,34,0,8,40,28,37,0.118,0.8440000000000001,0.038,-0.5775,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,7,0,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,20,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5593635519943473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3010336449823542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5711268637417877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35116078346997953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833945369382887
divorce,mike_the_mad,2018/01/24,"Need Advice So my wife and I are about to file for divorce, she has not worked a real job basically since we got married (due to anxiety and depression). We have been civil and amicable until tonight. So we have about 12 thousand dollars in credit card debt (1.5 on my personal one and 10 on one that became a joint) and a car loan with like 20 something thousand left on it, she is moving back to her parents place to go to school. That said I may have a job lined up so I was going to take the car loan and my cc debt, but she is also wanting me to take half of the ""joint"" debt. My question is am I wrong for not wanting to because I feel like I am basically taking all of the financial responsibility from out marriage. Oh her parents are going to pay for her 35k schooling, and will probably pay for most if not all of her bills.",5.995562091503268,5.080006464705885,6.977843137254904,78.67807189542486,66.70588235294117,9.673202614379086,33.00653594771242,8.841846274778883,2.5226928104575173,649,24,136,9,9,219,101,170,0.09,0.871,0.039,-0.7684,7,0,1,0,1,0,17.0,3,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,7,0,15,0,0,0,2,27,27,14,0,4,5,3,1,2,0,2,0,1,0,1,3,12,0,0,2,0,10,6,3,2,0,5,4,2,21,3,27,21,3,18,0,1,0,0,18,8,0,4,6,98,24,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942066119847153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228107245616945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169747755317974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1175773905692011,0.0,0.093211755000475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170008266627153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07731525859972672,0.10923804184346443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26070469991971845,0.0,0.12229509618076415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3034766811436529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613580472230874,0.0,0.0,0.14940698345920528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16251780274241173,0.0,0.11337990092714335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20722985317086745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33957414359303245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351402289005454,0.15975709920691306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486149506502065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171292795267474,0.0,0.0,0.17404363394903474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545123738868904,0.0,0.0,0.30950363764117644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12648769845220265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11771662650904795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449050517321232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.180379085438477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11131939143081623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718171455241307,0.0,0.0
divorce,WhyMe70,2018/01/24,"One month It has been a month since I found proof that my husband had been cheating on me. One month since my 23 year marriage ended. So much has changed in a month. I have been served divorce papers, I hired an attorney, our home was put on the market for sale, I was humiliated in the community i lived in and raided my children in and i have moved out of our marital home. One month and so much pain. Some times I just don’t know how I am supposed to go on. ",2.9424553571428578,3.9074860729166687,4.13982142857143,89.80875000000003,73.6875,7.152380952380952,25.17261904761905,7.447530270364453,0.9172994047619044,357,11,82,4,7,117,62,96,0.105,0.895,0.0,-0.8617,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,2,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,5,0,12,1,0,1,1,10,15,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,4,0,0,2,0,1,3,1,2,0,3,7,0,14,0,11,8,3,19,0,0,0,0,6,8,0,1,8,57,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269991386316108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459360686262487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899837044535033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09278038105766867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3275119243114143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971952036873439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14415529514203826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.651534506950928,0.17351198891012626,0.2400193204333961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3318731552341537,0.0,0.17371258796488925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641142478652674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27008895961868074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519407454949456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512951041059053
divorce,huggaroo,2018/01/24,"Settlement to come over 3 years? I (30f) have been separated from my stbxh for 18 months now, working veeery slowly through a collaborative style divorce divorce. 

Today my lawyer and I received the first offer of the Settlement agreement from my ex. He wants to pay about 1/2 the settlement now and the other half over 3 years. With yearly installments. 

He is keeping the house and I think he is having a hard time refinancing it. His finances are not nearly as good as they were when we first separated. We are taking the total assets from the month we separated. 

My first reaction is ‘fuck no’. I want to invest the settlement money and have it grow in the stock market if possible, and maybe use some of it so I can own a duplex in three years time. 

I’m afraid if I don’t take the settlement in chunks tho, he will lose the house. It’s a long story, but I want him to stay in the house for lots of personal reasons. It’s an important place for my community of friends. 

What would you do in my situation? Has anyone else taken their settlement in smaller chunks and did you regret it? 
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divorce,jherdmonger101,2018/01/24,"3 years 2 kids, how to cope My name is Joshua. I am 22 years old. Me and my wife have been married for just over a year, and just over 3 years together. We have 2 beautiful children, and im a recovered drug addict. We have broken up 6 times... Mostly over addictions i developed. The last time I did not have a job was not trying my hardest to find one... I played a lot of video games and ignored her. This divorice is my fault. We will likely be going pro se for now with court possibly being involved in the future. I have visitation mandated by her. Im just curious any tips and tricks to help cope. I have borderline personality and se is my ""favorite"" person. I dont know how to handle this guillt  and worthless feeling. I continue to live for my children and am striving to do my best to fix my life on my side so my children can and will want to be inmy life. I doubt we will fix things but i also can not stop thinking of her. Can anyone offer advice...",1.5586090225563929,3.590477234693882,3.544382384532764,88.0246777658432,80.22448979591837,6.5752953813104185,23.070891514500538,7.669130373188453,1.086177551020408,742,25,156,12,19,251,116,196,0.057,0.863,0.081,0.5396,1,0,1,0,0,0,28.0,4,0,0,1,8,8,1,1,6,0,25,5,0,2,0,34,30,14,0,1,7,1,1,1,0,3,5,0,0,6,3,14,0,2,4,3,0,2,4,5,0,1,3,1,28,3,21,21,3,21,0,1,0,0,20,7,0,3,13,108,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3465882883123442,0.0,0.15533770947823114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12712339482056376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810092132140356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115127370581528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668228338694658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863045382944037,0.0,0.1843476873678921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08037693771576965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452901492102069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09034286291895337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10655016931047012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434166385564359,0.0,0.15774716880115364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736241689704571,0.1295768169651904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2245618452248823,0.07766174505069827,0.0,0.14036805970826505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1351454459516439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668059005536579,0.0,0.10771807081055132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27760233869420675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920794268497472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329009607285242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10560856947185968,0.10185766560394023,0.0,0.0,0.18538628812865346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079260716230897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09376104263309806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40947022805854855
divorce,PleasePleaseHer,2018/01/24,"Needing a pick me up over friends fall out After our breakup, I (33f) lost a large group of mutual friends. When we moved to a new city 6 years ago, these were mostly couples that we befriended through my STBXH’s (34m) best friend from high school, though we made them together as a unit.

When he ended things to be with a new lady, I was shunned, and stunned. Previously, and over the years I’d always been the more social in our relationship, pushing us to see these people, making sure we did our time, buying presents, all that feminine crap that helps remind people we love them. Now I’m completely forgotten. I genuinely don’t know why they didn’t try to make an effort with me, I thought we were all more mature than that.

My ex and I are fine, we’re on speaking terms and slowly healing. I’m not particularly interested in being friends with him and his new partner though so I see how that pushed our friends to take sides. 

It’s been one year since we officially ended things and I’ve had a hard time this year for sure. I have a new partner, we are great, have new friends. But I can’t let go of how brutalized I felt by being ousted by this group. Being in a new city meant I had no one else when this all went down. I made an effort to stay in touch with everyone but each new event I wasn’t included in really hurt so I stopped trying.

I know all the old sayings “you’re better off without them”. But I feel burnt, and I feel nervous to put that much effort into friendships again that can turn when you hit a crisis. 

Anyone had this experience with mutual friendships? Have you repaired some of these friendships? Have you found a way through this impacting your self-worth? 

Edited for clarity (see: “huh”)",4.170000000000002,5.530191715976333,4.554989349112429,86.48616449704143,71.18934911242604,7.774863905325444,26.53775147928994,8.238735603445708,1.539064710059172,1352,44,277,20,25,426,190,338,0.08800000000000001,0.7759999999999999,0.136,0.9291,0,0,0,0,0,0,41.0,13,4,4,6,14,19,2,1,15,1,25,3,1,7,6,53,50,21,0,1,5,1,5,0,8,0,1,2,0,2,18,23,0,1,8,0,1,7,7,5,0,2,19,10,43,14,39,25,12,52,0,2,3,1,41,15,1,2,28,177,61,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370454216518295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06918472396681019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058138113311774736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725734303471998,0.07353650868365151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717774413613949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200025380784113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945840755693998,0.0,0.1472866126882399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945024515632057,0.0,0.08133343757378972,0.0,0.0,0.08408295032121423,0.0,0.07983388132546007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116607653566004,0.3854336541508489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04725419175306712,0.0,0.0,0.09166954197480953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744831210230173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0557314874605598,0.0878490648245289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901027338297275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913905153474677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850231449547945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090764456620578,0.0,0.07504315258461391,0.1573508559541095,0.11100214994619086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08837179479052662,0.06112239927722901,0.06165223236487294,0.0,0.5621252785504214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08724848599691591,0.0,0.11268472591838526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528691997149325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358540943279237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053265911906258685,0.0,0.0,0.08926845040112501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612160153706204,0.0,0.08414891012247779,0.19877148993191768,0.0,0.08674015278396606,0.0,0.0,0.06877981822619729,0.0,0.0,0.08475760054881586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862333048221288,0.0,0.06951437312836135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672958148712285,0.0,0.06251597863855221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11047795988195107,0.0,0.16338244201944538,0.06600920064203779,0.09696703120289196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290231721365555,0.09043974495837916,0.0,0.0,0.1000152552724031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599798871680486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707783374134501,0.07502697367676249,0.0,0.0,0.0801504619251658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141750222284736
divorce,CornellWest,2018/01/25,"Anyone still spend significant time together raising kids? We probably need a divorce (infidelity, grown apart) but we're also good as friends, get along fine, and are good co-parents. I just wonder if an unconventional custody sharing is possible where we spend most time when the kids are awake together at the house and then one or the other of us heads of to an apartment at night. 


Pros:

- Less adjustment for kids (less missing one parent when with the other).
- Less adjustment for parents (I'd really miss those guys if I only saw them half time).
- Paying for a small apartment is less expensive than a house or apartment with enough space for two kids.
- Easier to have one parent home with one kid when the other is being taken to a lesson or school function.
- More flexibility for one parent or the other to stay home with kid on sick days or school holidays.
- Cheaper to buy groceries and cook for 4 people than 3 plus 1.

Cons:

- The main one I can see is that it could get weird when one of us finds an SO down the road.

Has anyone tried it? What are the pitfalls? How in the world do you figure out child-support in such a situation?
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divorce,Daisybylake,2018/01/25,"What do you do when you can not sleep Just don’t sleep well.  With lots of time awake at night, i find i can daydream ( or maybe nightdream exactly) ,   read Reddit, listen to the whistling of the wind and curse my ex occasionally . What else can I do when I cannot sleep? 

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divorce,Flowermomi,2018/01/25,"How to tell your attorney to accept the offer Omg, I’ve had it and am ready to just accept the pathetic counter offer from my STBX but I know telling my attorney will not be easy or readily accepted.  How do you shut down the pressure to keep pursuing something you know you won’t get it that isn’t worth the fight.  
Thanks!!
C",3.5818181818181856,4.942607484848487,4.576181818181818,85.76427272727273,72.63636363636363,8.916363636363636,28.35151515151515,9.3871,2.3808278787878785,258,10,54,6,5,84,49,66,0.151,0.659,0.191,0.2789,0,0,1,0,1,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,3,6,1,1,4,0,7,0,0,2,0,13,12,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,1,0,7,4,6,8,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,0,34,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20083813480634688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3416808890514684,0.0,0.0,0.4225228938306286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959372681296256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6719818167778366,0.3539126857085361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ygdrasil,2018/01/25,"Any advice on how to survive meeting the ex? To put it short my ex has cheated on me, taken money from me, lied to our kids about me, and generally been a horrible person. She has also lost 20 pounds and looks better than ever. 
I really don't like being around her. 
For the good of our kids we are doing couples counselling - and I hate the days when we do this. I dread seeing her, it destroys my sleep, and it is not productive in any way for me (yet).
Does anyone has some advice on how to survive meetings like these?  
Should I drop the sessions and 'hope for the best'?
Should I say what I really feel, and basically destroy this little collaboration we have now?
I know I am doing this for the children, but is it worth going through this?
Any advice would help...",3.9617158338350373,5.173841125827816,5.080192655027094,83.08989765201687,71.51655629139073,7.34521372667068,24.98555087296809,7.686295010490155,1.243709933774834,594,17,117,7,11,196,96,151,0.146,0.802,0.052000000000000005,-0.8933,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,5,0,0,5,9,12,4,1,7,0,17,1,1,2,1,23,26,11,0,4,2,2,1,2,0,3,0,1,0,4,10,10,0,0,2,0,2,2,2,6,0,0,3,4,22,6,18,19,2,16,0,1,2,0,18,7,0,2,7,91,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4994383010512133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624142424121086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3475636448366629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11912368968182475,0.0,0.0,0.15166163214683268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1787883380113632,0.15067465629198462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885064557647895,0.0,0.10987181112837292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14908821099453162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15410556942819045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614203928396152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682277861978277,0.14289470345050725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682009016610308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419256731218427,0.0,0.0,0.16921162489592328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362855767035083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664641944104749,0.17075123257071456,0.0,0.0,0.14306431758262805,0.0,0.18597433505671365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14875679669259326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17126462845129226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21828131664724912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13548167792316346,0.0,0.0,0.13575944095550896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17048878049809815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13522839802806186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102293678618717,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,eracolem,2018/01/25,"New Puppy at My House So my ex has been talking with my daughter for some time about getting a new puppy. Apparently, the expectation is that the new puppy will follow my daughter with her as she goes from house-to-house. I have not been involved in the process of planning or getting a puppy and I'm not terribly keen on the idea of having one live here. To compound the problem, the woman I am dating has a severe allergy to dog fur.

I have told my daughter that any puppy that would spend time in my home would have to be hypoallergenic, but it seems that she has her heart set on another one her Mom took her to meet that sheds. I told her that for the first week or so when she is bonding with the puppy she could probably bring it here, but I couldn't have such a dog around regularly.

She has two choices: (1) get a dog that sheds that will have to remain at Mom's house or (2) get a hypoallergenic dog that can go back and forth. But my daughter feels really torn in that she wants the shedding puppy and I really just feel like the bad guy that's saying no. (A consistent problem that I seem to be the only one setting boundaries). I'm not sure I'm handling this right and don't know what to do.",6.12483114446529,5.222873052845532,6.563983739837397,81.70612570356475,66.4390243902439,9.520450281425893,30.711694809255786,8.617729084823388,2.089995372107567,945,29,201,12,13,308,122,246,0.09,0.887,0.023,-0.9335,1,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,0,0,0,2,10,7,0,0,18,0,26,1,1,0,1,34,45,14,0,8,10,7,2,1,0,4,0,1,1,2,16,8,0,0,6,0,1,4,6,4,0,5,5,3,25,3,25,32,1,25,0,0,0,0,26,9,0,6,11,138,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0801690505745578,0.12361764789108977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494684273017084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064991593176082,0.09843298993415446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412534672514156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921716681035875,0.08422043780459709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027693356142353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24637004689672945,0.0,0.06699944327824972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672935501300735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969988296569,0.0,0.0,0.11825299888676913,0.0,0.0,0.4080867177808524,0.0,0.13308314157782514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647891057071698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05759496117675648,0.0,0.10409878047520732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761420248523921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3415758716086941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2396553709545969,0.08966044254432919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710505477014064,0.22560907676656006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104634365885594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10067717468675973,0.0,0.09375063517749983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146447425387779,0.0,0.13318182490716046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110966366479788,0.0,0.0,0.09475528941888238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374848847460553,0.0,0.0,0.22529735442775525,0.1309798139721338,0.0,0.0,0.1151611240433452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695344098541723,0.0,0.09456402045572143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16749094591500668,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,YuzuruHanyu123,2018/01/25,"My parents are divorcing Im 19 yo male and i have two brothers and one sister. All of them are younger than me. Out of the blue my mom told me that she is gonna divorce with my dad. This was really unexpected since they are never yelling at each other for example. Then i asked why are you divorcing? My mom just said that its complicated and 'adults things'. But she confirmed that neither one of them is having an affair with someone else. My mom has always been very close to me and thinking that she will move away from our house is hard to understand. Im confident that i will manage emotionally but im not too sure about my brothers and sister. 

I know that life goes on and this is not the worst thing that can happen, not at all. Im hoping some of you could give me tips how to react to this and think it through.

Thanks in advance.",2.5225490196078444,4.416210470588236,3.475882352941177,90.32813725490196,76.64705882352942,6.650980392156862,23.098039215686285,7.554174236665415,0.8580509803921577,660,20,141,9,15,211,108,170,0.021,0.897,0.08199999999999999,0.909,1,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,1,2,3,1,4,4,0,0,3,0,17,1,0,2,4,31,29,11,0,2,6,9,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,2,15,12,0,0,4,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,4,4,23,3,21,21,6,11,0,0,1,0,28,7,0,2,2,105,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085227597985966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219283214444449,0.0,0.12253712612629047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10413251350975128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895205830279706,0.146708828617864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511405916048568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533302758626668,0.0,0.11683379492427258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12953991579035712,0.0,0.15049115224529958,0.0,0.0,0.5635188343433226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167731817273064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921219409978554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4582511108966417,0.0,0.13861948865509602,0.0,0.0,0.1005906062826262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17675661248107508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14481980851035153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355260282644496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240625692129749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788762698444118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11050736736425217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12292255970567405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007639135911585,0.0,0.0,0.173295091978102,0.16714016313053984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462519724983333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12740476101788034,0.13577541282389122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10761300668082764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768687906661204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Leyele,2018/01/25,"Am I going crazy because all I can think of is the Chili's song ""I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back, etc."" Soon to be ex got sole custody and I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back... And on it goes",8.033738095238093,5.1486067071428625,10.029999999999998,64.71166666666669,64.07142857142857,9.333333333333334,24.76190476190476,3.1291,1.2496190476190474,529,2,84,0,6,196,30,140,0.017,0.964,0.019,-0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,54,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,9,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,6,0,3,7,2,56,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,54,73,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9986839462225988,0.0,0.014938227408806294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02732993105339676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.013926949070338151,0.0,0.019599158472241876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.015702031964187436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02890776810348372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pattyfuller,2018/01/25,"Working through teen's anger My ex-husband was cheating and we ended up divorced when my son was in the 8th grade.   Since he moved the woman into the family home less than 2 weeks after I moved out, my son figured this out and has been angry since.  He is a junior in high school and is still angry.  I don't have any positive feelings about my ex, but would like them to have a better relationship for the sake of my son.   My ex lives less than 5 miles away, but they only see each other maybe once a year.   I understand where my son is coming from and get his anger, but my ex basically keeps telling him to get over it.  We have been to therapists and psychiatrists, but it just eats away (as if the teen years aren't hard enough as it is.  Financially, we are constantly struggling and it would be nice for him to get support from his dad, even if it is just financial.  Has anyone been able to bridge this gap?  I don't even know if it better to just let it go and see where it goes in the future.  ",5.759197860962567,4.970295490196079,6.103511586452765,84.33489304812835,67.13725490196079,9.37896613190731,27.859180035650624,8.575989854853784,1.625260784313726,776,19,172,10,11,250,115,204,0.091,0.818,0.091,0.2458,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,3,0,2,3,10,9,3,1,9,0,23,1,0,0,0,32,35,17,0,5,10,8,2,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,11,15,1,1,4,0,0,4,3,4,0,0,5,4,21,5,28,26,4,27,0,0,2,0,23,14,0,3,10,119,32,4,0.14012493592932312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952897615207376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097978613268824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633039798728482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2478582373947032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070522479334655,0.0,0.1514252754441152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433827916843023,0.0,0.0,0.12410910194890533,0.14478651657144204,0.0,0.1851023972631454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320973187942299,0.0,0.0708513778891022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2196284867388656,0.0,0.07963623026905002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552441925030974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14804968820216466,0.14055673582603648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454948140588012,0.0,0.0,0.07700900020309517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328724074260255,0.0,0.06845796571115917,0.0,0.12373288563342623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407743322125017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978612621713428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492284835815453,0.0,0.10657132804569264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044174089473955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14181391607376875,0.2233228637981154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2318255900237393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119039548399162,0.0,0.0,0.1464890074187299,0.0,0.0,0.15901211673697827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247537025878773,0.0,0.0,0.16269585074243734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587500007370935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239977139666343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201262223647953,0.0,0.0,0.19908146820674485,0.0,0.0,0.1804717291239943
divorce,Keto_Kidney_Stoner,2018/01/26,"Not really feeling suicidal anymore. No throwaway, because fuck it. I deleted my last throwaway so I could comment on porn threads, and I don't want more than 2 logins.

Anyway

STBX and I have been separated for about 6 months now.  It was horrible at first.  Some times it's still pretty horrible.  But I've noticed something about myself the last few weeks.  I very rarely think about or murmur to myself about killing myself.

Long story short, we were just bad for each other.

So the absolute worst part the thing that she did the worst was just ignoring me.  She would force me to get angry and rage just so she would respond in any way to anything I said.  I tried having conversations, I would talk with her, plead with her, beg her, until I was blue in the face and she would just stonewall me.  We never talked about what was wrong in our marriage.  We never talked about anything. 

All she wanted to do was just ignore our problems. She ignored me, and she wouldn't pay attention to me or give me the time of day. She didn't want to talk about important issues or anything. I had to get mad to be heard about anything.  We couldn't talk about cleaning the house, having clean clothes, about splitting responsibilities- any issue that came up, we had to fight.

She changed me. 

It made me sick. Every single time I started an argument, or had to start an argument to be heard, it made me sick to my stomach. *Every single time* I would feel like puking.  I hated myself and wanted to kill myself every single time that happened.  And it would happen multiple times per day.  

I wanted to die. Constantly.  I hated who I'd become, I wanted to kill myself for how I was acting, and I hated her for changing me.

It changed me from being a patient, loving person to being  impatient, mean, hurtful, and spiteful.  I thought about suicide every day.  I even had a plan, at one point, to do it on her birthday (several years in a row, I had plans and a 'fuck you' note written).  

And here I am, now.  just about 6 months out.  I'm still in therapy and still on meds, but something is different.  I can't place my finger on it, but it's like a huge, twisted thorn has been removed from my guts.  I feel like I actually *want to live*, which is something that I thought I'd never feel again.

Since our separation I've been dieting better, working out regularly, and really diving in to my work.  I actually feel like I'm working towards something with my life, instead of just trying to get through the next 5 minutes.

I still have moments where I feel like a completely broken wreck, and still have days where I eat myself into oblivion.  But overall, I feel like I'm on an upward swing.  

tl;dr: Spent years being suicidally depressed.  6 months into my separation, I'm realizing a lot of my problems were either directly caused by, or at least certainly exaggerated by a shitty marriage.  Now I'm kind of actually enjoying life.

I don't blame any of my choices or actions on her, but   I know I'm better off alone.",2.8715807453416176,5.246089321739131,4.072551242236024,84.15260326086958,77.52173913043478,6.472360248447206,25.572204968944106,7.5804360353943165,1.4914204968944098,2340,88,436,34,56,763,258,575,0.16899999999999998,0.745,0.086,-0.9889,1,1,4,0,1,4,88.0,8,1,0,8,38,35,12,0,19,0,46,14,4,4,5,94,93,30,7,18,20,0,8,6,0,7,4,3,2,1,19,28,2,3,14,0,2,4,11,23,0,2,28,12,84,12,73,51,14,71,0,2,1,4,42,28,2,8,44,313,103,4,0.0,0.0,0.16899927391247252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059787620786537335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776873958754208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057249536644961935,0.0,0.0,0.19001715913546927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048199519537354116,0.03518976001851859,0.06375478505896016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210943879146092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06602415291368396,0.0,0.059301390124905484,0.1832021009386611,0.0,0.06052551778832122,0.062382231298685975,0.0,0.04609020300484143,0.0,0.0,0.14891620461478175,0.0,0.04972006270476872,0.0,0.05991137012770423,0.0603122855300524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05906899260290605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03812804872285786,0.0,0.1945494880135964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431905580107973,0.20620041309944312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04910244036651707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10673510970018847,0.09047971033462464,0.055376867330937225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10209534900194699,0.0,0.0,0.17097997860579028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660904960071701,0.06179780101411355,0.0,0.0,0.12050369458688855,0.0,0.0,0.19159866362509606,0.060113644796256374,0.031725174338698765,0.09411019645481764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08154838135917229,0.16921457684151806,0.0,0.050973877829840336,0.05108645739267473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049077314778846096,0.05210074786471629,0.1092451075148888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288147725817933,0.06412153144944316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382310944312592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356754699421045,0.0,0.061393173933163625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657224163888727,0.0,0.0,0.03911721650192354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06251256742724567,0.0,0.0,0.05040487033619393,0.0603122855300524,0.0,0.054570544715568256,0.0,0.0,0.05872897307831844,0.0,0.11047362383981664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396261352114814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05491146624241185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521492414207135,0.0,0.04775225778985789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776383834943876,0.0,0.0,0.08171874181357552,0.0,0.230503737688022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894314567462076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319933300140639,0.0,0.0,0.06601569903992299,0.0,0.038351162858781096,0.03698904304383045,0.0,0.09165736248952323,0.2019659890299348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838550167329902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04763070780401591,0.2383415970568983,0.04582089706100175,0.04630500764566105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12607753184685766,0.0,0.0,0.2460450442080631,0.06311526281802025,0.0,0.074348414530319
divorce,Big_Rig_Jig,2018/01/26,"Dealing with divorce and chronic depression So I've been dealing with fairly substantial clinical/chronic depression for about a decade now and have been separated from my wife for about a year. As I'm sure with the rest of you, this has been by far the hardest thing I've ever had to endure. A lot of times (at least weekly if not daily) I have a really really hard time dealing with things. Everything reminds me of her, there's no where to truly escape, not even in sleep. The worst of it all is my mental health issues were the very reason we separated. Her words verbatim were that she resents me for my depression.

So... My question to all you lovely people: those of you who deal with depression or any other mental illness in a similar capacity, what helps? How do you do it? I could really use some advice or help from someone walking in similar shoes.",5.018760162601623,6.521701323170731,6.072926829268293,75.8645528455285,69.3048780487805,9.369105691056909,29.52032520325203,9.725611199111238,2.9614081300813013,683,26,120,16,12,227,106,164,0.156,0.747,0.098,-0.9106,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,1,4,0,0,10,8,1,0,9,0,13,6,2,3,4,25,16,9,0,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,6,0,0,6,1,16,2,26,9,7,13,0,4,0,1,19,6,0,6,6,97,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281839396359758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08920436653662668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473358321548162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5409479263233566,0.4519277404112856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08664069375741101,0.1186564524641368,0.0,0.0,0.11789277940690487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11750817848006676,0.0,0.0,0.1394342482942463,0.0,0.0,0.1758493866939672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369139524451992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115213797353581,0.11839171139048585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26438966830580635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909411137876524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14694745125962574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521046458801009,0.13487106005911986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312710108654947,0.0,0.11114523375721544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363208859631193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17429537927002486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15297988393572345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11329418610688935,0.0,0.10823416635592127,0.0,0.0,0.10522169691986236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447322155786932
divorce,Kyrieous109,2018/01/26,"Stealing from your own child... I need to vent. I've never posted about my personal life, so this is a first for me. This may end up being a long post, sorry...

Facts:
Divorce is not final, we're operating under temporary orders. I(f) am the custodial parent of our 2 young girls. He's supposed to pay me $X familial support every month. He writes me checks for a partial amount ""when he gets paid"" (every two weeks). 

Relevant Info:
At the time we separated, we had a joint checking account with Bank A and a joint checking account with Bank B. At Bank A, I had opened a children's savings account for our oldest daughter so she could deposit her piggy bank money when it got full. Only one adult is allowed to be a guarantor on the account and initially, that was me. When we separated, he was using our Bank A account and I was using our Bank B account. A couple months later, we went to take each others names off of the other's accounts. Because we were taking my name off of Bank A account, I could no longer be guarantor on her savings account unless I opened my own checking account at Bank A. I couldn't do that right that minute, so we transferred gaurantorship to him. 

Story time!:
I've always known he was not as adept with money as I have been (there was plenty of evidence of this early on). That's why I took care of our finances in our relationship. When we transferred control of our daughter's savings account to him, I knew I would eventually want control back because I wasn't sure I could trust him with her money. When lawyers got involved, I brought this up to my lawyer, but it wasn't something that was included in the temporary orders. 

He doesn't pay me when he gets paid. He pays me when it's convenient for him, which is inconsistent enough that it causes me problems when I'm trying to pay bills or buy groceries. Granted, he's hasn't been more than two weeks late, but still. I control my finances to the point that I budget a minimum of 3 months out to try to alleviate any surprise expenses. 

The ONE TIME I didn't deposit his check in a ""timely manner"" was the week of Thanksgiving. I was trying to find time to leave work and go to Bank A to open an account so that when the time came that I could get my daughter's savings account back, I'd be ready. He decides to berate me about doing things ""in a timely manner"". The next week, I got to call him a hypocrite for telling me he doesn't have my check that week because ""money got tight"". I had told him before that his inability to budget his money wasn't my problem anymore and that familial support was to the benefit of his children which meant they were a priority. He tucked his tail and paid me the following week. This meant it was 10 days past the date of his paycheck. 

Why I'm currently upset:
I come into possession of my daughter's account statement. He's pulled her money out of her account and overdrawn it. The dates line up. He pulled HER MONEY out of her savings account TO PAY ME the familial support...

GRR...
I know I'll probably never get her money back for her. He already owes me back support. When I'm financially able to, I'm opening up a new savings account for her and her sister which will have nothing to do with him. I should have done it long before now, but I honestly didn't think he'd do something like this. He NEVER put money into her account. He just took all of it. He stole from his own daughter to pay me the support he owes me... I just can't believe it.",3.864100145137882,5.272250457184327,4.956890420899857,83.12384071117565,72.00435413642961,7.273875181422353,29.36030478955007,7.748469712250963,1.8883680696661824,2731,111,526,34,52,898,274,689,0.043,0.898,0.059,0.9413,5,0,2,0,1,0,93.0,14,1,1,5,25,23,1,1,37,0,54,1,0,7,6,86,97,29,0,11,9,7,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,6,33,32,0,4,10,0,62,11,16,5,0,5,39,1,92,18,80,44,9,96,0,0,0,0,85,29,0,2,53,349,125,13,0.06693050082320394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385947199074125,0.0,0.055691538375537135,0.0,0.0,0.045515035704448016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06637707205454854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2058616950391427,0.0,0.12240063622612922,0.0,0.11390585307245547,0.07540775467844008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06834352461909739,0.07655066245287767,0.06824010627330364,0.06875606120040348,0.0,0.05765470002763071,0.0,0.0,0.22520474366767415,0.21375423489163606,0.0740573261224037,0.0,0.04316463600878387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849314011568455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05928055770421956,0.06915709900100536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11278366726475887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18928835854225845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331909211478564,0.061173265204149764,0.056931049808755074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13987369690230395,0.0,0.038038146031823546,0.0,0.21412174290370592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03678325286861932,0.0,0.07550052021598833,0.07086973637036681,0.0,0.0,0.04727499210149443,0.032698861912034416,0.0,0.0,0.11846277409700595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16026986160856982,0.0,0.0,0.04962811828710919,0.15486278510804705,0.0646418947653995,0.07118134693545418,0.0,0.0,0.06422162066545363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090707679065558,0.05090366187992322,0.0,0.0,0.07431840047341369,0.0,0.06389273637977523,0.0,0.05844113168905711,0.0,0.0,0.0632709571276504,0.0,0.12820183697872364,0.0,0.07216240013592906,0.12808690025245664,0.0,0.06728363965569152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07185830984342659,0.0,0.05715828200097274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10305273892423887,0.0,0.07492321599076608,0.0,0.0,0.053450784415063166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3797596958592641,0.06308120493592836,0.0,0.10064681403089544,0.0,0.058500207800720135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04446565072203182,0.042886362392335564,0.0,0.0,0.2731939928958802,0.0,0.0,0.0639549617801715,0.1487244982141667,0.13632424987648467,0.0,0.13076274784425776,0.0,0.0,0.11561292627181405,0.0,0.0,0.0394773434950066,0.0,0.3221256634488006,0.0,0.0,0.062045244811103926,0.12078873323898237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04872620173770999,0.0,0.0,0.047545507454921934,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,NewStart2Day2018,2018/01/26,"Looks like my marriage is over Hard to type this, but my marriage is over. My wife confirmed to me over text message just now that she is seeing someone else. Funny, she's been an alcoholic for our entire marriage, she is now 45 days sober and is ready to leave me. After all of her shit I put up with.. ironic.  Any who... 

I live in SC - I adopted her daughter when she was 10 (She'll be 16 this year), so I will be paying child support if she takes her (that is undecided).  I can't afford a lawyer at this time, but need to do something. What do I do?  She admitted via iMessage she is seeing someone else. I know someone else needs to witness her type that, or confirm it, but what else should I do? I'm in a bit of shock honestly. ",1.0084988962472394,2.988253337748344,2.6366622516556326,94.08885651214129,81.84768211920529,5.086269315673289,22.64944812362031,6.079149491110277,0.2674181898454746,558,19,124,4,15,183,94,151,0.08,0.8029999999999999,0.117,0.7789,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,3,0,19,2,1,0,1,14,29,8,0,4,6,2,1,1,0,3,1,0,0,1,10,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,2,4,26,3,17,22,2,15,0,0,3,0,22,7,1,2,8,86,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18118102139602732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11528940061446835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508796888402124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933584772972202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5664979064139992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15186977936447066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09317183014884717,0.0,0.0,0.17951275444229742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828260844414828,0.0,0.149702234461693,0.0,0.14236643850800654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514156441883491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042918602624485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27019439129552336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740249197187825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4309385698881587,0.13051608461216382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238595350093804,0.0,0.0,0.12746898561966669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885703923349358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917477988458367
divorce,Umberto7,2018/01/26,"A Story and a Request Here’s my abbreviated story.

My wife and I are in our 30s and have been married more than a decade. We have two school-aged children together. For a long time, things were pretty good. Some of the time, things were amazing.

A couple of years ago I got sick... constantly. I was weak, losing weight, and generally a zombie. What effort I put forth was directed at my children. My wife felt neglected and started playing an MMO. Gradually, she spent more and more time on the game, and I lost a lot of my support from her. 

Last March, we finally talked about our issues. Neither of us was happy, and we wanted things to change. She mostly wanted a sexual partner, and I wanted someone to be there for me. 

We very nearly divorced. I spiraled into depression. Things were looking bleakest on the day of our anniversary, but somehow (cowardice? Fear? Wanting to keep the family together?) we stuck together. Things aren’t much better, but we are still together.

Last summer I worked on being better. I went to therapy for my stress-induced depression, I started working out, eating better, gaining weight. I was generally happier.

Fast forward to now. I have been anxious over how much my wife games, how little we communicate other than a “shift exchange” when I get home from work, and other little stuff.

And then the bombshell hit. I found out that she had been sexting and voice chatting with a dude from her MMO. It was pretty graphic. At one point, they had planned a rendezvous to get physical.

So far as I know, she never acted on the visit, but her actions feel like cheating to me. I have a hard time trusting anything she tells me (or doesn’t tell me).

I consulted with a couple lawyers yesterday, which helped me logically through that process. 

At this point, we’ve ebbed for a long time. My trust is broken, we don’t talk about anything (when we do, she gets pretty nasty, and I’m not much of a fighter), I feel like she’s disconnected from the kids... the list gets a little long.

I want out. I don’t see her changing for me, and I think she would resent me if I asked her to change, anyway. However, I’ve read a shit ton on divorce, and the thing that makes me want to hang on is to spare my kids the devastation of their parents separating. Study after study shows that children of divorce get messed up, especially with their adult relationships. The thought of hurting my kids makes me want to suffer through it just so they can have a whole family...

Anyway, I’m torn. Any advice for a man in limbo?",3.482492882899983,5.786387356993737,4.298688081229837,83.63294007401784,75.2212943632568,6.9432719681153925,26.752751945340677,7.924219607001951,1.7567866388308977,1980,76,366,31,44,635,243,479,0.128,0.758,0.114,-0.8824,3,0,0,0,4,0,88.0,13,0,4,11,16,25,3,1,31,0,31,6,1,4,1,67,67,28,0,9,7,4,6,2,1,1,2,1,1,9,18,31,3,2,8,6,2,7,7,13,0,2,21,9,71,12,59,42,12,59,0,7,2,0,59,25,1,6,31,261,89,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173971463466228,0.06507744747749672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04992431827011305,0.0,0.0,0.08293739001281945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12082761303236444,0.0,0.06863256585883812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947872467946536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329881433828967,0.0,0.0,0.07933489941378777,0.0,0.0,0.16246330305337406,0.0,0.04734622290773049,0.0,0.12646345253806707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512127234095965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13841714956284154,0.08261162495179902,0.0742410660528686,0.10489454251162957,0.0704893493163379,0.0804219008809121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049511445553036,0.0,0.0,0.19178000340131324,0.0,0.0,0.06157652643039626,0.05871621254287651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815100768414239,0.06576489391213099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04920813346793477,0.0,0.0736406419997191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07859164741917853,0.0,0.0,0.0766255734206319,0.0,0.06525410338792248,0.0,0.0,0.04034664138566273,0.11968509003479708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173314769068051,0.2207415851992383,0.0,0.19490833564043952,0.061649616956758024,0.08213194937302863,0.08014050403177801,0.062414308536613214,0.0,0.0,0.09800938138687536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190412199079354,0.0,0.05662172109552434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04974750617156642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08151801753278272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388006996811738,0.0,0.0,0.22406655267915632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380176217710999,0.0,0.0,0.07343427989838439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07881960489432363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429930527905816,0.058501782097669784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535883986442593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0622037938246332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10392619864717584,0.0,0.05862884498768016,0.0,0.08409596195343727,0.0,0.08404193854398621,0.0,0.08330980577649602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11801544842608493,0.12833486551897766,0.0,0.0839557792985436,0.0,0.29263964284015104,0.04704099145226261,0.0,0.05828284338550569,0.21404267277084865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717152138871472,0.0,0.08830849945924882,0.0,0.0,0.06057457923469173,0.3031120598763972,0.0,0.0,0.17879795394647674,0.0,0.06805589628031243,0.0,0.08196457024046186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033970089203534,0.0,0.0,0.0521514925728507,0.0,0.0,0.047276474931586016
divorce,reddit_to_go_man,2018/01/26,"Harsh Truth from an Unexpected Source Our marital home is currently for sale.  STBX is living there now, but due to his inability to leave work during the day I have to go over before showings to turn on lights and make sure everything is in order.  If the showing is early in the day, I'll go back over and turn all the lights off as to not waste electricity.  

The basement security camera sent me a motion alert well after the showing was supposed to be over, so I pulled up the live feed to see what was going on.  Two men (Realtor and buyer) were standing there talking about their impressions of the house.  Much criticism was made about various things, and a lot of it was very hard to hear because it was things that stbx and I had argued about or things I had begged him to do and he refused.  

The worst part of it all was when the buyer looked at the Realtor and said, ""I just think if I had to drive up to this house every day the way it looks right now, it would make me really SAD"".  To which the Realtor replied, ""Maybe that's why they're getting a divorce? Haha.""

Dudes, you have NO idea.",4.352584097859324,5.278201077981656,4.963321100917433,85.36348318042815,70.3302752293578,8.382140672782874,26.00122324159021,8.648137234880735,1.6000192048929667,857,25,179,14,15,275,137,218,0.119,0.8029999999999999,0.078,-0.8955,1,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,1,1,1,1,12,9,1,0,17,1,19,1,0,3,4,25,35,14,0,3,6,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,13,7,1,2,2,3,1,7,2,3,1,1,13,8,13,6,33,20,7,33,0,1,3,0,14,12,0,4,11,125,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10741863566956973,0.0,0.08515820517911711,0.0,0.11887215180556195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702796928795629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770103866178255,0.0,0.12555096637821656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298609721661692,0.0,0.2381796622841229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514138219267604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574490612468012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14012782773912436,0.0,0.0,0.32238396111248263,0.0,0.15770129902460772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479193181561902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467106308610475,0.0,0.2346211730509504,0.0,0.0,0.11876568750050355,0.0,0.13218500603118422,0.18649812574760824,0.0,0.14034476013144312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10269362270844333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15127861174504498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949369666776757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1193007697443388,0.1328841659191948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1113206976691666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316630948622383,0.0,0.0,0.11228343465330612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784261268505778,0.08951241825031102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039011935535617,0.13646400771317224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526494030838567,0.0,0.11088525046373016,0.0,0.0,0.1256046905608867,0.0,0.1260551257612061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10170133129487363,0.0,0.0,0.09923698611446816,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheLoofster,2018/01/26,"Separated with a no contact order, wife is pulling money out of accounts My wife and I are now separated and I'm planning on filing soon. She is under court order to have no contact while a Domestic Violence charge is pursued against her. The judge refused to remove the order.

She's now pulling hundreds of dollars out at a time and I'm going to be unable to pay our bills. I haven't retained a divorce attorney yet.

Anybody have any ideas as to what I can do? For informational purposes, we reside in Michigan.",3.5284848484848474,5.800948919191924,5.267676767676768,76.88818181818183,74.95959595959596,7.228282828282829,33.22222222222222,8.167268648758528,2.902482828282828,409,22,70,7,9,139,69,99,0.138,0.862,0.0,-0.88,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,11,13,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,2,2,0,5,4,3,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,17,12,0,19,0,0,0,0,12,6,0,0,6,53,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43897681202437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36686479142398026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7287152935619483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764088259423309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kanycta1992,2018/01/26,Expediting the divorce... Been separated since June/ July. Have been to court and finalized the separation agreement. In my state for a no fault divorce we have to wait 1 year in order to file for divorce... Is there a way to make the divorce final sooner?? Appreciate ur input..,3.272266666666667,6.2848727600000025,5.124000000000001,73.16866666666667,81.4,7.333333333333335,28.333333333333336,8.344100000000001,2.7583333333333333,218,10,35,5,6,74,37,50,0.09,0.794,0.116,0.3313,0,0,0,0,4,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,1,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,1,8,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,23,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8295876396769918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2527525788383786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132241391204304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005556532806791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438389221166225
divorce,Skalathrax,2018/01/26,"No one wants the broken man She beat me today. 

I was already having a tough day, and I brought my son home after visitation to put him to bed. She was stringing a goddamned loom the size of a 6x8 rug. She'd talked about it as a home project when I was living there. Her hair was curled and she looked beautiful. I put the little guy to bed. During his bath, he hugged me and told me he loved me. When I came out, she was just finishing stringing it. She asked me to go ahead and leave. She had a date coming over, and besides, we didn't need to talk. As she put it, there was nothing else to say. 

I'm sitting here in my apartment, drunk and sitting against the cold wall. I'd been trying to diet this week, to take better care of myself. I can't right now. I just want it to go away.

Someone will always want her. And here I am.

Alone.

Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm going to keep tucking that little guy into bed as long as I can. Last night was just a bad night. This morning is better, although ditching the headache would be nice.",0.884541062801933,3.0436967777777792,2.1124235104669893,96.64449275362324,83.53703703703705,4.497262479871176,19.576489533011273,5.511479884284512,-0.3504220611916261,808,22,180,4,23,257,131,216,0.091,0.772,0.138,0.9118,0,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,0,0,4,11,10,0,0,12,0,19,5,1,0,0,22,39,14,0,5,3,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,7,3,7,12,2,1,0,2,0,10,3,2,0,1,13,4,30,8,26,22,0,36,0,0,1,2,26,10,0,0,14,113,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13103616339693952,0.13961753974520788,0.0,0.1052744538113275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11827875984740575,0.0,0.11886934177213765,0.0,0.10563859264948187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237926334887792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1447047327778951,0.12899517818140527,0.0,0.0,0.10898544432615002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815946840819452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10569090254185737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12089491269807184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157120362069967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25054861774908177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2538189764902084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1124564458154228,0.0,0.1317507082282416,0.0,0.10313037145265014,0.0,0.13396600283931695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536117814956516,0.11171913677807076,0.11196587671849073,0.10624461066646736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418889095250633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938126903790882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374601734276703,0.0,0.12139898152649448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573296454596009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3815614699361112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080470587447334,0.0,0.10061347488043433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719965805320228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512700388616782,0.20338334590874502,0.0,0.11648226178016527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992580016682965,0.12089491269807184,0.0,0.08589851268614399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22387363837939048,0.0,0.1014864025049087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08987590349448721,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,taboo007,2018/01/26,"Pretty sure my parents are getting divorced this year. [Rant/advice] So little backstory. Parents married twice. Forget how many years apart but relatively close. I (23 years old male) was born about 2 years after the second marriage. So 25 years of marriage. Live in Michigan so 50/50 state. 

I knew from really little probably too little that I was a part of a loveless marriage. I remember clear as day sitting at my little tikes table in the kitchen and my mom came out grabbed a hold of my dad's collar and asked him why the fuck he woke me up when she was doing her hair. Thankfully that is the only time I saw anything physical with them. The rest is just yelling and bickering and screaming. 

My dad has depression and anxiety and tried therapy and he thinks that just meds will help. Well he doesn't want to see a therapist so he just goes to the family dr for meds and that doesn't help. He needs therapy and a psychiatrist. 

Mom and I do. Mom just to talk, me for my anxiety and depression and I am medicated and about as good as I can be. 

Anyways besides that it's almost like he is starting to have early onset Alzheimer's a little bit. He is 62 so pretty close. But he is so set in his routine and if you force him out of it he snaps. If he even thinks about spending a dime it's the end of the world unless it's something he wants. Nothing inside the house needs updating to him even though it's straight from the 90's only things redone are living room carpet and master bath, been in the house for 22 years. But yet the outside is a gardener's paradise because that's what he wants. 

Just today the argument was over our older than the house furniture from the 70's. Mom is trying to update the set but he won't go to the store to see stuff even though he wants to decide his chair. He just randomly changes the subject to well we took down the pool, what about the deck and patio? You said this this this 4 months ago. Again outside stuff he wants. 

So the nail in the coffin pretty much was last month when my mom came home from minor kidney surgery. My dad helps my mom inside. Parks the car in the garage. Mom goes to the bathroom. He comes inside and goes downstairs to his work computer. So luckily I was there to help her and make her dinner and help her walk. 

Pretty much after that she is telling her friends and close family members that she is done and it's over. 

I would be rich if I had a dollar every time I heard that. But I think this time it's true. Since she came back from surgery maybe 3-4 days (out of 30-40) she was not mad at my dad. And I heard her say to someone that she is waiting till June (her birthday) to get medicare insurance then she is out. (Since my dad's company insurance is that good apparently) 

So yeah I am old enough to understand I am not the cause of the divorce but I am probably a good reason why they didn't get divorced earlier. Talking to my therapist about it and so far he is kinda blowing it off since it's boy who cried wolf but he also sees my mom so he knows it's just probably hard for him to not say or hint at anything she said. 

Anyways sorry that was long best I could sum up 23 years. But yeah idk what my emotions are. It's kinda like having a grandma who is over 100 years old and you know any day could be the day. I am in a place of acceptance but also confused about my feelings. So yeah it sucks but it's going to happen eventually. 

",1.6040151515151528,3.8724952366522394,2.8924657287157274,91.46822240259745,81.48196248196248,5.985642135642136,22.034812409812414,7.224341801977833,0.7203894660894661,2681,86,563,37,72,865,305,693,0.057,0.7879999999999999,0.154,0.9976,3,0,1,0,4,0,62.0,2,3,2,3,44,21,3,1,40,3,50,7,2,4,3,98,92,63,1,13,25,15,4,2,1,3,2,8,7,2,39,37,2,2,12,3,5,9,7,7,2,2,23,16,65,14,72,61,7,89,0,2,4,1,90,35,2,9,43,354,104,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019721838041431,0.0455355427506744,0.0,0.051438660011759806,0.0,0.0,0.08215958420529854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034932699683298235,0.0,0.07859432966328811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454466411885167,0.0,0.04802310566704812,0.0,0.0,0.03949961072091567,0.0,0.031314081893705215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390862431738559,0.0,0.056081672708477526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.176257445081774,0.0,0.05277014068310279,0.054341618971665735,0.04424986798810849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08202797578793271,0.0,0.056426463739714175,0.1325150903033452,0.0,0.08848813487093678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05256834927174297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778324096928283,0.045497710532116716,0.05307793640012794,0.0,0.10178627301178872,0.0,0.04328062053300586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968522933159718,0.0,0.02597372337225601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03968758261148583,0.0474898374459846,0.08051458883624514,0.0,0.05838840336048678,0.1292577072577523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04542546067280584,0.0,0.04601655802903041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17215787896297394,0.0,0.05152732216678982,0.0,0.0,0.1778188796650849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646214732986464,0.041872612903128666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050192623403659466,0.2574262994659122,0.09071958342218564,0.04545997215132027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03428922421744072,0.0520801303986407,0.05160709179890195,0.0,0.11411881671832927,0.051748890116864614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4813022658979993,0.08200453406519465,0.0,0.07552429045890792,0.07617896482508366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049289966560693003,0.0,0.1617094570022686,0.0,0.0,0.07813691918329031,0.0,0.0,0.11407845009894775,0.055627650054231516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0536696995742712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20904307065917774,0.16615349719222947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032908313890956775,0.05281591495948623,0.0,0.0,0.05819109347166172,0.0,0.09772741558416012,0.08170142368664622,0.0,0.0,0.12280339055800735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12747896918768606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04352480963447701,0.0395463864266503,0.0,0.05750341976017704,0.03635926150184332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11761049130707055,0.0,0.0,0.04841469974881347,0.0,0.0,0.08257695569427873,0.04489879352798983,0.04729369815022058,0.11748991780100072,0.11928679856056555,0.03412729878938383,0.09874559438041784,0.1009396158599362,0.0,0.08986107772400756,0.0,0.04869183090055264,0.0,0.057072878788898614,0.06975239437225876,0.0,0.0,0.0534769684334556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514939144023019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237384837278426,0.0,0.0927051133335932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03739726324865617,0.0,0.0,0.03649108272698756,0.0,0.0,0.2646397520238118
divorce,M_WikerB,2018/01/26,"Reality just smashed me square in the face This is fucking bullshit. My entire life is going for a shit off the deep end because she never wanted to do the things or make the effort so that our family of 4 with a white picket fence had a chance. 

Its been two days that shes go e and im drowning in my newfound reality which i am still discovering. I still Love her, and would bend over backwards if she would just find an ounce of compassion inside her to try anf put the pieces back together...

At this point in time.. i do not see the light at the end of the tunnel and i have no fucking clue how i can create a life for my 2 beautiful baby girls and i if this actually continues and becomes the truth..

I just need to scream and drown away in my sorrows.. whatever, fuck it.",3.748593481989708,4.562275408805036,5.0384676958261885,84.68439108061753,71.64150943396227,8.297541452258432,26.404230989136646,8.575989854853784,1.6350704402515723,606,19,130,10,11,202,107,159,0.119,0.79,0.091,-0.6801,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,8,8,4,0,14,0,12,8,2,2,2,24,22,11,2,6,7,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,9,7,0,1,1,0,0,3,3,6,0,1,2,5,18,2,18,18,1,25,0,1,3,4,8,13,4,3,9,92,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.16601181939436313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598326078143297,0.13081117987270302,0.0,0.10370309793906417,0.18788331365641586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971282372878872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3013502709312233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037326103736455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548588573506236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4718174347715275,0.0,0.0,0.19336534702667865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837579509428779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24032047318344885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15353923856456625,0.0,0.11355590080354855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614124656390194,0.13120643050830585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608176509373334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710168040308282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13556299347489628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462493535259058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717148587793933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11301965105554032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09919788564300737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549978392508245,0.0,0.16618175931808693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10034072399607688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24169562682915474,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,CamMaxwell,2018/01/27,"Bargaining Stage of Grief... How long does it last? Currently separated and I have been going through the grief of the end of my marriage and the woman I've been with for 26 years. I know I'm pretty much in the bargaining phase of dealing with the ordeal. Can anyone who has been through it tell me how long the bargaining phase took to get over? I feel like once I'm past it, I can truly accept it's over.",2.6008605851979354,4.302346710843377,3.67765920826162,89.81445783132533,75.86746987951805,7.152495697074013,22.70051635111876,7.957251820313856,0.9611287435456112,319,9,69,5,7,103,52,83,0.038,0.826,0.136,0.8105,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,2,0,9,14,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,4,0,0,3,0,3,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,6,2,13,10,1,13,0,2,0,0,5,3,0,0,8,42,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18153508364562093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676608647522509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271986447511596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22994973547606165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13127365638678876,0.18547538259640886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356427842802422,0.0,0.14755025857988902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14268251842856802,0.21162814893661874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268391347557342,0.0,0.0,0.4595180042550106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908534562501112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2764910049804193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24784041173629645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264130866361119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269227522485457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884517314580135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671892944244126
divorce,SeenSomeShirt,2018/01/27,"25 months seperated, long drug out divorce by her. Don't care I'm dating now, but curious how reddit would handel this. So the divorce has drug out forever, to the point that Im moving on with my life even if she can't. However I am doing it descretely. No social media, no going to the same town, and absolutely no meeting my kids.
However their on to me (the kids) and theyve found some things that are indisputably werent mine. 
So Ive denied everything, saying items were a grandparents who stayed the night ect. 
However, i feel it might be time to level with them, as the youngest prowles through the house looking for clues.
Just looking for opinions here. Should I tell them or not? As I will definitely tell them once this divorce is finalized.",3.9987499999999976,5.987974708333336,4.659444444444446,83.03000000000002,72.75,8.411111111111111,27.972222222222214,9.075114841892004,2.383830555555555,594,23,113,13,12,190,103,144,0.12,0.86,0.02,-0.9249,5,0,2,0,3,0,21.0,0,0,4,0,7,1,0,0,8,0,14,3,0,1,0,20,21,10,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,4,3,1,0,2,8,6,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,2,4,15,1,16,14,3,17,0,0,2,0,17,7,0,5,7,79,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18554523700862655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220882841808426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019898801645365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16355585539093007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920167869002207,0.0,0.0,0.19935502839357802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953651495491195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342593536675873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20998557814851213,0.0,0.0,0.1965743940120144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12854097235608072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610504782077639,0.3056421448447692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19305670273734366,0.0,0.0,0.14525822169933844,0.1934206299413899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078004302139824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380745981622208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17203409222422664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472130901434527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18551019054588735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19397116976072956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181247953502942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209023571698313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611657431687882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12927650514035213,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Eight_ten,2018/01/27,"Loneliness Is it okay to give up on other people for awhile, isolate yourself, even though you feel lonely?

Did anyone shut themselves inside their home after the divorce? 

I exercise at the gym with “go away” headphones on, I go to yoga once a week, and I’m so happy that people are quiet and focusing on breathing and NOT talking.

",4.673548387096774,6.660237322580645,5.4234193548387095,78.26512903225809,70.93548387096773,6.895483870967742,28.529032258064518,7.554174236665415,2.011344516129033,262,10,42,3,5,85,52,62,0.111,0.79,0.099,0.2266,0,2,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,3,3,0,0,3,1,3,2,1,0,0,6,8,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,4,0,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,2,4,2,11,7,0,11,0,1,0,0,5,7,0,0,2,31,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418824093202131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2743638365911858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1928774639102193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14765485789324778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801336571855719,0.3319251259145707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3108623447189923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929214007216137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3109933948122564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4049019146048263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347158411512084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2869096667811195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23424205382123695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,4thdegreebullshido,2018/01/27,Best day ever Me 45m. Stbxw 39.  She just signed house over to me yesterday and signed final divorce decree.  She moved out nov17 after 11 years and a daughter.  No attorneys all pro se.  total cost to me was half savings. Half equity in the cars and 140 for filing fees. We stand in front of judge first week of march. ,0.8989285714285735,3.401499269841274,2.09077380952381,94.09901785714287,88.04761904761904,5.0547619047619055,15.811507936507935,6.6274283507984215,-0.2546492063492063,246,5,51,3,8,78,53,63,0.034,0.902,0.064,0.4588,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,3,12,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,6,2,10,0,3,17,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,9,31,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762864551984894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312414489423004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243379243381801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3927848040304765,0.0,0.30499083659372905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41372994113524253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3810923899897351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28761509438051025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309007961494499
divorce,suns-fan,2018/01/27,"feeling alot better lurker here...just here to say its gotten better..no more dreams bout stbxw no more sleepless nites. been seperated since september...divorce should be final soon...took a while but im in such a better place..like beyond my dreams. ex is doing her thang...but so am i..got a daughter, but our relationship has gotten even better cause we dont have the toxic person there...had a great x mas..only thing is when i pick her up..i have to hear ask ""how is your dating life"" she dont care..she jus wanna brag bout how she doin...I DONT GIVE A FUCK!..point is. it did get better jus like people here say...keep your heads up...feeling good in az",-0.3391883116883108,1.8979245833333351,1.2538528138528164,97.2686363636364,98.62121212121212,3.4233766233766234,12.346320346320347,5.288315135182226,-1.2488770562770566,503,8,107,3,21,161,93,132,0.012,0.731,0.257,0.9863,0,0,0,0,1,0,45.0,2,2,0,4,9,7,0,0,7,0,16,2,1,4,0,11,23,7,0,2,2,2,1,1,0,1,1,2,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,4,3,10,7,6,17,3,7,0,0,0,0,16,3,0,1,5,56,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12443887312430177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5886201199774072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135713416610655,0.13673952881647988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4680079936076447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791718720377435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460774026964553,0.0,0.0,0.14581431707971426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230570529446111,0.0695439175627469,0.12769020642207318,0.0,0.1116454479593168,0.1064593641740067,0.14675305575795522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660815527992706,0.0,0.1500234284781911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14378047671630192,0.0,0.0,0.11831332532476033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401876768245154,0.06503029540413068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228096612170636,0.11622557591499473,0.13907049207200192,0.0,0.1258309553274969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290916695910305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117071137944654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101090752907313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843165274588356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788890938645866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,KambohChaudhary,2018/01/27,"How to deal with son after divorce? Me and my wife (currently seperated) have finally decided that the relationship is not working out, and it's better to get separated. Rather our son see us quarrel everyday, we better move on with our lives. Reason: match incompatibility.

Now, the child will remain with mother by law for 7 years, and I am OK if she takes 100% custodianship later on. I am OK that my son get a proper family atmosphere with her mother and her family (wife currently lives with her parents and is expected to do so till she doesn't move on too).

I personally feel responsible for bringing my son to this world. How can I help my son best that I don't feel guilty.?

Edit: my son is currently 1 years old. I am 30m, wife 29f. Been in relationship for about 5 years.",3.467228731533368,5.482866013245037,5.585033112582785,75.70896077432502,74.29801324503312,9.414365766683648,25.522669383596536,9.851270322608157,2.622125420275089,612,21,118,18,13,213,93,151,0.0,0.86,0.14,0.9649,4,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,4,0,0,4,7,5,0,0,3,2,13,0,0,3,0,23,20,10,0,3,3,12,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,12,0,0,4,0,0,3,3,0,0,0,1,3,21,5,21,18,1,22,0,0,1,0,28,6,0,1,13,77,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17509436108865228,0.29512308206613075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201068140115636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145747203321189,0.0,0.16872448727992767,0.0,0.0,0.18277140555263832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434007599722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118332148337832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29465577537309784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3546613364321175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17507658817325622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18526250286465915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14568330666415574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17154525833747564,0.0,0.35825987234425977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329544915527246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544726846878212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20069493995561796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146572089163545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32232965192958696
divorce,Low_on_fuel,2018/01/27,"I think it's time. So, here's my situation. My wife and I have been together almost ten years. She has three boys from a previous relationship, I however have none of my own. I've raised these boys as my own from day one. I'm terrified that if we get a divorce, I will have zero contact with them. Which is keeping me from talking to her about all this. How do you start the conversation? Should I plan ahead and figure out where to stay? I'm completely lost and depressed, I know in my heart I need to get out but I'm torn. Help please. ",0.5759875259875251,2.876160666666668,2.4102702702702707,92.99008316008316,86.47747747747749,6.298267498267497,20.250173250173248,7.61054688173877,0.6675857241857246,418,13,95,8,13,138,81,111,0.08900000000000001,0.85,0.061,-0.2355,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,1,1,1,3,5,2,0,0,3,0,9,1,1,1,1,18,20,8,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,1,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,4,2,0,18,0,14,16,4,10,0,2,0,0,14,4,0,2,5,66,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2460155338381051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2575934257424925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584448869543309,0.0,0.21160597626021813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567179309592689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911349440562211,0.16467580021652642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2183738934097203,0.0,0.0,0.13502067621733105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26819146960305706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821704598680507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664808195360129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696856066711303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637710596599049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27615742240424385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17389533720921718,0.2618648546809393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19747028629059454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157423425040658,0.0,0.0,0.14325944080765365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821147424436582
divorce,Awakeat5amagain,2018/01/27,"50/50 custody for infants? STBX wants shared custody but can’t even change a diaper So my STBXH wants 50/50 physical custody of our TWO babies ( one is 2 the other is 5 months old). 

He travels (overnight)  one week per month, works long hours, and doesn’t even change diapers. He says that he will just get a full time nanny. I don’t want my babies being raised by some random nanny or random babysitters he finds on the internet.

 I work from home and have flexibility with my working hours. i.e I work around the kids nap schedules.

What recourse do I have? He simply isn’t fit for a 50/50 custody schedule. What proof will I need to prove in court other than his work schedule and long hours?",3.092001156738,5.533960721804515,3.216541353383459,90.22370156159631,77.1203007518797,5.596067090803933,23.012724117987275,6.67199483983844,0.614682359745518,548,17,106,5,13,167,88,133,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.8418,0,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,0,5,5,1,0,0,6,0,12,0,0,0,2,18,17,6,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,5,5,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,0,0,3,0,1,10,1,11,14,2,19,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,4,13,58,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13128792318976532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120272758772048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481749035438145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479348925271128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770518934914509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479338513758095,0.0,0.4357124705651543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610292357911921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23543328169228625,0.0,0.0,0.10935409785044374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15475480950217618,0.0,0.19987170085588726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728152910537085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599641741820918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14406593294781558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609614931471137,0.0,0.11829906961590725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5368337564080123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,squishedheart,2018/01/27,"I’m better, but I’m not ok I posted here just over a year ago. I’ve had a hell of a year. I’ve tried so hard to make myself a better person; to learn from this experience. For 12 months I’ve tried to be classy. I’ve tried to let go of my anger and learn to live again. I’ve accomplished so many goals. I’ve travelled and explored and lived my life as fully as I could. 
But it still fucking hurts. 
Late at night I lie alone in the cold and try so hard not to cry. Tonight I’m honestly failing. 
Do you know, I’ve been friend zoned by every man I’ve ever expressed any interest in, ever? The funny part is, I miss my best friend more than I miss my lover. 
I promised myself I wouldn’t let this kill me. I promised myself I wouldn’t let it devolve into insults and depravity. For the most part my divorce has been simple. Cold. A business transaction. 
There is a dark part of me that wants my papers just so I can unleash my pain once I know for certain he’s powerless. I fantasize about all the things I’ve never said. I have some cruel letters I have written in anger and never sent. 
Because it fucking hurts. 
Rejection.  Again. 
“ I love you. You’re so rational and put together. I love that we can talk things out...but I’m leaving. You were easy; I deserve to finally be happy.” 
I don’t know what I did to deserve that. I do ok for the most part, but I can’t seem to beat back the hurt some nights.  Maybe it’s the anniversary. Maybe it’s the season. I don’t know. The last two weeks have been so hard and I thought I was doing so well. 
But it really hurts and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been through therapy. Should I go back? I’m taking new classes, I’m working on my career. I have lots of friends and a supportive family. Please know, I’m not ungrateful. I’ve done everything I was advised to do. Most days, I’ve feel like this entire mess has been a wonderful boon. My marriage  wasn’t as healthy as I thought it was. But nights like tonight I get so low, and I feel so unwanted and worthless. 
I feel stuck. Any advice would be so kindly appreciated. Thanks for reading. ",0.1787162839339409,2.453963023094687,2.066896161052771,94.79529739857945,88.51501154734409,5.300257091812281,20.409996078260487,6.8096976237459765,0.33542663296875697,1611,53,361,22,53,531,200,433,0.196,0.57,0.234,0.9724,1,3,0,0,1,1,60.0,1,3,0,8,23,43,8,0,17,2,43,7,0,1,6,60,81,31,1,7,10,0,6,2,4,4,2,1,0,2,17,14,0,0,16,2,0,7,12,20,1,1,19,9,50,23,36,51,13,41,1,10,0,5,23,8,3,8,27,221,67,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587467368350874,0.06882840441527202,0.0,0.0,0.08041773439590402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056037475729302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11940980678899375,0.0,0.04733221923529106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814845804365213,0.13734297535210707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061993932100593625,0.0,0.08529037387927497,0.050075181251627084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07945871256942925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14047032158203973,0.0654200185929602,0.0,0.0697831272197089,0.0759525881222762,0.07319764309605738,0.0,0.1177802983193538,0.05547024562880947,0.0,0.08505728685179925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996708644967724,0.143564764572806,0.04056677741527049,0.0,0.08825590729558377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08265550310966334,0.20866642239203548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33248616237446593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859036828433365,0.08085625514443626,0.2560329322428273,0.06329177079541877,0.0875879558821807,0.08221579566381547,0.0,0.2381945766310439,0.05484359459604462,0.0758677282316868,0.0,0.13712550238735705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601176653007264,0.1401569103601514,0.0,0.05182924039022233,0.07872075439409701,0.15601148335838316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06197621565015358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977060777004515,0.07499089291908481,0.0,0.21859624848522197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08269034815144896,0.0,0.0,0.08262071078354351,0.0,0.0,0.33633176752216665,0.0,0.0,0.06779740390453468,0.0,0.08523188027458609,0.0,0.0,0.07436330775724298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805557425162317,0.0,0.0,0.0776669108993256,0.0,0.049741951018645564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07385903050629948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07068591010642243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200811509406126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08811164583130328,0.0,0.0,0.05838005275858561,0.06240883229423722,0.0,0.0714859115746232,0.08879485220371705,0.0,0.10316897003019668,0.0,0.0,0.12328434105829665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21086587394266934,0.0,0.07584876075324166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457975628577736,0.0,0.06228285650208661,0.0,0.0698129879335066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420366511407862,0.056527139096519824,0.0,0.0,0.0551574187494899,0.0,0.0,0.1000028262339228
divorce,tbdiv,2018/01/27,"parenting when you were married vs after divorce? What have you done differently, and what have you done just the same?

-

For me, losing the burden of my resentments trying to have a partnership and instead doing 90% of pretty much everything, and ending the utter mindfuck of him being engaged in all those many online sex affairs, has resulted in me feeling like I'm finally being the parent I wanted to be.

Happy and authoritative.  I had read about and agreed with work regarding rules, boundaries and the concept of natural consequences. I let my kids fail and I teach them how to recover.  And how to do laundry. With my resentments so high in my marriage, I failed my kids and my own values far too often. 

I don't feel I have changed anything in my parenting style, it just all feels freaking *joyous* now, even the hard parts.  

One thing has troubled me though.  When the kids complain about their Dad.  When married, I would feel like I wanted to support the kids in learning good communication with asserting their feelings and wants/needs to their Dad and facilitate that (which was hard work for me, see: resentment and oh he's fucking around, turns out!!).  I would not ""side"" with the kids, but parenting is about giving your kids tools and support for developing emotional maturity, right?

I feel awkward about it now, since their complaints are with my ex and not my husband and I see a lot of valid advice not to 'bad mouth' your ex.  So what's the best course of action when the kids have issues with him or you see a problem brewing (leaving the teen at home all day, not calling once, and the teen not eating all day, for example).  I still want to talk through the problem they are having.  This includes talking about and thinking through the emotional space of the person upsetting them -- their Dad.  It doesn't quite feel right, but at the same time, they *need these tools* with their Dad having depression and all the fallout from being someone who lies and cheats.

[Edit: I talk about shame *a lot* (without mentioning their Dad either, it's generally something to mature about) and I model making mistakes, owning them and trying to make it right.  I talk to them about my own screw ups, at work or with parenting them!]
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divorce,Whoretortle,2018/01/27,"Blood test for alcohol, divorce, ex-wife. My ex-wife is an alcoholic that regularly drives with our young son in the vehicle with her while she's drunk.

She's failed several urine tests and just recently has the Guardian ad litem appointed to the case decided it would be a good idea to blood test her.

unfortunately, her father is a doctor, and the GAL essentially let my ex-wife get blood tested in his clinic.  To me, an obvious conflict of interest.

That being said, the blood test only seemed to be testing for levels like creatinine, as opposed to looking for recreational drugs.

**Could someone here with more knowledge than me enlighten me as to which drug screen I should look at requesting for alcohol, as well as potential cocaine usage?**

Thank you.",5.112347931873477,7.616293416058397,5.571989051094892,75.44854318734795,71.04379562043796,9.822141119221412,31.12469586374696,10.125756701596842,3.673866666666667,606,27,103,18,12,194,96,137,0.071,0.8079999999999999,0.121,0.743,0,0,6,0,1,0,23.0,1,1,0,1,3,6,0,0,9,0,10,13,5,0,1,17,16,7,0,3,1,2,0,1,0,2,7,1,0,0,4,5,4,2,5,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,4,14,5,22,8,1,8,0,1,3,0,13,4,0,1,4,66,18,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5745232739845167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14307471789612866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18341635702741307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156246947713839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09362336018994498,0.0,0.0,0.15030246144002254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20229230064436973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18324170716458488,0.0,0.08754690536934667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3009617369667422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628786474414611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17693603090259208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17045797218707429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16313478279288976,0.0,0.20244230369877472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15183356166279094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.164981092270301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16112018088906874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729684761174134,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lostredridinghood,2018/01/27,"On days like this One year since the first intuition and nine months since discovering the person you promised forever with has been cheating on you longer than you’ve been married.  Some days I feel great, I know I’m stronger for stepping away and choosing my own happiness.  Then there are days like today where I run scenarios over and over in my head picking apart details and mostly wondering why I didn’t catch on to this sooner.

As for this new found freedom, it’s liberating yet terrifying.  Dating seems way more fickle now or maybe that is the difference 9 years makes.  

Sometimes it also feels even more hauntingly alone when you have friends who are there for you, but distant.  I can’t blame them, they don’t know what I’m going through.  When someone asks if I am okay, I nod.  For the most part I am, but days like today I feel even more alone, defeated by the idealistic wants of those who are searching for someone else as well, and not as strong as I know I am.

I’m not the only one right?",5.921461538461537,6.380293620512822,5.573141025641025,84.04894230769231,66.64102564102564,8.961538461538463,30.60897435897436,8.841846274778883,2.195282051282051,796,28,161,12,12,245,125,195,0.1,0.7609999999999999,0.139,0.6215,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,4,2,3,11,12,1,0,6,1,14,1,1,2,0,28,30,17,0,2,6,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,10,6,0,0,10,0,0,4,5,2,1,4,4,3,19,10,22,26,8,32,0,1,0,0,11,10,0,7,20,106,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2797135581142793,0.0,0.10798840085021907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262406190344662,0.0,0.12687095560431955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34834871254028943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410840886598221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280541815292085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838027390825106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2048350812550728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11486172326584194,0.0,0.148060224048986,0.10432863362881824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0767441847239764,0.0,0.0,0.14887788790547798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374854655012134,0.0,0.0,0.1385860997830475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226370930804321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19791560004592545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013771248850183,0.0,0.1356620136238341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778460701601973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13041880402460398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18300804861168532,0.10270111553731744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462310460919947,0.0,0.0,0.11790840179410865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11532017750596706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12293188544130733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2234066811603098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288314691560604,0.0,0.13355425528191814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2559970576424052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964784979420338,0.10718545063601964,0.0,0.0,0.12141376155496986,0.0,0.12184916752399325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.146440999315953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17391777172970982
divorce,soargl,2018/01/27,"Regretting divorce. Anyone else felt this way? Coming up on my 1 year anniversary of divorce from my husband of 10+ years and have a young child. I asked for the divorce because I determined I was not happy as our marriage didn’t have passion and it felt like we were roommates. I agreed to 50/50 custody since he’s a good father and felt like my child needs their father as much as possible. 

I had fun in the dating world and have been in a committed relationship for a few months now. This gentleman provides the passion I need but not the financial stability. 

Recently I started thinking of my ex and how it would be wonderful if our family was together again. I’m not sure if I’m feeling this because I’ve been also missing my child more lately or if the financial instability of my partner is making me look elsewhere. Am I being unrealistic in my relationship needs? Did I really mess up and get divorced when I should have stuck it out for my child?

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divorce,fitzfilmfx,2018/01/27,"Stories of grey divorce. Hello out there! I'm currently doing some research for a feature film and was wondering if anyone would be willing to share stories of their grey divorce (divorce or separation among the 50 and over crowd) or being an ""empty nester""...there's a new moniker for everything now I guess.

I know it's a sensitive subject for most people, so I appreciate all sincere replies on the matter and absolutely understand if you'd rather send me communications privately.

Thanks! ",7.421034482758621,9.12490713793104,7.5615517241379315,66.67612068965518,63.82758620689656,10.397701149425288,40.93678160919541,10.504223727775694,4.947216091954023,399,23,60,10,6,129,68,87,0.021,0.7929999999999999,0.18600000000000005,0.9036,1,0,0,0,3,0,13.0,0,1,1,0,4,3,0,0,6,0,7,0,0,0,1,18,13,8,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,6,3,10,7,3,8,0,0,2,0,9,4,0,8,3,43,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2497594485789944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32102434727221185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3934911922383372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19630534444872294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449817084710747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476344339387012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32885769120305397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3718531867756421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873633600005891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.253741485323892,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,coolaf95,2018/01/28,"At a loss of what to tell my son about him not seeing his dad Me (22F) and my two boys ages 3 and 1 have been living in a shelter since January 10th. The last couple of days my oldest has started asking about daddy. He asked if daddy was at work and where is daddy. This has been the first time since we left that they have mentioned their dad like that. I just said yes he is at work. I didn't know what to tell him. 

The truth is that their dad isn't allowed to see them and there is a protective order on him. He can't see the boys because he is physically abusive and unsafe. But I of course cannot tell my son's that. I don't want them to think daddy is bad or that he doesn't love them. I don't want them to think daddy doesn't want to see them. I have no idea what to say and I am just avoiding talking about it. Any advice for me?",0.5691560102301807,2.172889956521743,2.226828644501281,98.37520460358057,81.5,4.9815856777493615,16.801790281329925,5.5289334501034215,-0.8179145780051149,648,11,160,3,17,212,98,184,0.12,0.838,0.042,-0.9029,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,8,4,7,6,0,1,7,1,23,1,0,1,1,23,38,9,0,4,6,5,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,10,7,0,2,4,0,0,0,10,3,0,2,5,6,26,3,19,33,0,15,0,1,4,1,35,7,0,2,8,102,36,2,0.0,0.1753659547152445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14463226310644015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10065090406651628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2767360693729163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358097490039525,0.09022465143515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637686692233072,0.0,0.0954532841893744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258960153281189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16708366158537571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.081341640151059,0.12064674023296833,0.0,0.0,0.1608117460280849,0.0,0.0,0.07230951184491337,0.0,0.13069428029844454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358351444087388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14079004514118262,0.11770235670497155,0.0,0.0,0.4717746750811641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24486843968609304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476122872063932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896368332596438,0.3880980457615764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18967583261682366,0.0,0.0,0.08630498830905976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14458286789238126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2618978707641777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21550400568613345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,about_to_end_it,2018/01/28,"Parenting evolving one year later One of the problems having been married to a narcissist is that her gaslighting made me question even the most fundamental things, like raising kids. Because she was/is a narcissist, she always wanted the kids to like her. Respect was something secondary for her as long as the kids thought she was the fun one, the pretty one, or were willing to help make her look good on facebook. As a pretty weak person, at the time, I thought that the only way to complete with my ex was to try to always be fun too. Additionally, that meant occasionally biting my tongue when my kids CLEARLY needed to have consequences. 

Now that I’m a year out, the fog is lifting. I’m realizing that I HAVE to be respected first and being liked is secondary. My kids have some pretty lousy patterns already established and I’m convinced that I have to lead them according to the values of hard work, honesty, integrity, etc. Of course, it’s confusing for my kids because it’s a change. 

Has anyone else dealt with having to alter the way in which you’ve been parenting and how did that turn out? I’d especially like to hear from folks whose ex always wants to be liked by the kids. ",7.810733333333335,7.42111261777778,7.508277777777781,74.62775000000002,62.82222222222222,10.166666666666668,35.638888888888886,9.516144504307137,3.255288888888889,949,38,171,15,12,301,126,225,0.049,0.7290000000000001,0.223,0.9918,2,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,0,0,1,3,5,14,0,1,17,0,22,1,0,4,1,26,36,9,0,4,1,4,1,5,0,1,1,1,0,8,12,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,0,5,11,3,17,11,30,20,3,16,0,0,1,0,24,5,0,5,13,115,29,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675931472476027,0.0,0.30935788270301623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665440676907621,0.1269804457044064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109257874881182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13110100707542754,0.0,0.1299377511800593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10352721750178204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821418187309958,0.08185428376273785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541439233931356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394620743380163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1110165139337551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396775838295412,0.0,0.0830673496120302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3027285347998405,0.0,0.0,0.10967373154205258,0.10406959021381658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726511491858295,0.082723921587348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0918921739499465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3359114192106398,0.09425398974625593,0.0,0.0,0.2752181472799709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821048277378446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782426472219333,0.0,0.11858382027115336,0.0,0.0,0.13882943282165985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540700451768216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08233327097569716,0.0,0.0,0.1967724027184156,0.07226430379658809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414001387126137,0.13479973809414392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14619369183164108,0.1967389801432939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022217163460072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961310437127035
divorce,Meriis,2018/01/28,"Getting a divorce. Wife and I of 3 years (I know) are getting a divorce. She fell out of love with me but I still love her. I'm not abusive or anything, the love she said just isn't there anymore. No other guy either. This is the same day we talked. I'm crying stupid man tears right now and we have a 2 year old girl. She's already talking about visitation and child support and I'm getting more and more devastated. I just need... I don't know. Consolation. Or advice. I'm falling and spiraling at the moment. If this is the wrong place just delete it I guess. ",0.26037681159420245,2.6322902260869583,2.0730434782608707,93.85507246376812,90.21739130434784,4.457971014492753,21.57971014492753,6.079149491110277,0.21156231884057952,436,16,94,4,15,143,75,115,0.175,0.6409999999999999,0.184,0.2844,0,0,0,0,2,0,19.0,2,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,7,0,6,3,0,0,0,24,22,10,0,2,9,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,10,0,0,2,0,0,3,4,2,0,0,1,1,13,4,6,21,4,14,0,0,0,3,20,4,0,4,7,58,17,0,0.0,0.21014172574477533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173313420024495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19572035805416707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589273195362182,0.0,0.0,0.14595156221821165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19482082326764386,0.11438205266314395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27798868549497696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953812248690605,0.17561355566541578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19494402621089985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4802209807697146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13150964688625424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861087124454582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530268180225312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15146384231387144,0.1687092748515174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14163933727151012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012651908950394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2851093161801712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19391451277377952,0.0,0.22842710202631825
divorce,aob21001,2018/01/28,"Can I get a divorce if I can’t locate my “spouse”? Long story short. My “wife” and I got married about 3 years ago. She deserted me after a few months and I’ve never been able to get in touch with her. Her number was changed, and I was blocked on facebook. 

I’ve since gotten over that and found my current girlfriend. I think its time to finally push for a divorce but I don’t know what to do since I can’t find her. 

Is there any way that I can legally get a divorce without her? 

Is possible that she could’ve already divorced me without my consent?",1.4349760765550243,3.4195130877192987,2.8395374800637967,93.16327751196172,80.40350877192982,5.1980861244019145,26.15311004784689,6.11248444174946,0.7759578947368421,428,18,92,3,11,139,72,114,0.042,0.93,0.028,-0.3268,1,0,0,0,4,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,4,0,11,0,0,0,1,15,19,6,0,1,4,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,6,1,20,0,12,13,1,15,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,1,9,61,25,1,0.20675165074392945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18327286370372164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281555878014089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059821232207315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187158321965135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16507436958409066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22648632744912586,0.1889672631579855,0.0,0.0,0.2266925134936371,0.0,0.0,0.3240576124620322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535818222265794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362530022607972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829687048133517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650271950979988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15945961888868695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23308142120741776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3420542040159708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13247810953095004,0.0,0.0,0.12055855020151747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16410983686333186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3986024267345717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133141284459952
divorce,lauriscristina5,2018/01/28,"I quit my job and kicked him out the next day Maybe one day I'll write the whole story of it all but right now I am here sitting, trying to do homework and watching the office. I can't think straight still about what occurred. I quit my job and the day after it all made sense as to why everyone at my job was so concerned about our marriage, I came home that night after school to find out he had a tinder account, I drove to my in laws and just cried wondering how this happened again(not the first time he's cheated) they followed me home and I kicked him out that night, I kicked the father of our son out of this apartment. He could care less hasn't spoken or asked about anything and is currently in Detroit partying with his friends. How did my life get here, this was supposed to be our break and that chance for him to undo everything he had done in the past (cheating on me while pregnant, leaving and not being present for our sons birth) I moved across the country for support since I had no family and although his family has kept true to their words in regards helping he didn't. I feel hurt but I feel this insane calmness over me that I haven't felt in a while. I just want to succeed for my son and I ",6.414210526315787,5.5424430526315795,5.960890688259107,86.16700404858301,65.84210526315789,8.733603238866397,32.360323886639684,7.321109707123232,1.8690469635627531,962,33,205,7,13,296,143,247,0.048,0.8079999999999999,0.14400000000000002,0.9776,5,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,4,0,2,4,12,9,2,0,10,0,18,1,0,3,3,41,34,20,0,3,6,4,3,0,1,0,1,0,3,0,11,16,0,1,6,0,1,4,6,3,0,2,13,4,35,6,35,18,4,40,0,1,1,0,25,16,0,2,18,142,46,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10640628206661312,0.0,0.12088190734637445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14788947840513775,0.1318341788261124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10323882671973207,0.0,0.14203451582157856,0.2501714015401066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13232301904995236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12355563800525325,0.11621021501437495,0.0,0.2437928531335827,0.0,0.13076010718231446,0.0,0.1241522429816968,0.0,0.11818163283629145,0.10998602744236867,0.0,0.0,0.0999000505570198,0.0,0.06755607141288184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.114343215665544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08666983313422078,0.0,0.2594051716337295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13842274615033456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849431930292094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691440427409618,0.0,0.0,0.09133133142774257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223506948268746,0.0,0.0,0.12990337885480127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742982750436733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375164098277995,0.2426863345521223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761982531897555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343542373520927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750617185289241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042502103572407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13086268339604146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10696171303314213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032624457346156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673279509368656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08285286582334205,0.0,0.0,0.07539827839534043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08778901693857734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07626692638866267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166768659051553,0.14436344411006755,0.0,0.0,0.14022481390231853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,aLovelyRecovery,2018/01/28,"Hold me accountable? I left my husband three months ago. Me (35F) and him (37M) had been together for 14 years, married for 4 of those. 

He's my bestfriend and one of my favorite people on the planet. Leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever done and as I packed up my belongings I sobbed and he held me... we snuggled and spooned until the very last second we shared a home.

I could wax on for days about the good times - right now. It's a Saturday night and I'm in a (lovely) apartment all by myself. It's easy to remember the good, the loving, the kind; the compassion, the friendship, the passion; the best friend, the companionship, the love that everyone else envied. 

But that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I left for a reason and I need to be held accountable. I need someone to keep me honest, so I can stay strong and hold the line. 

I left because of undiagnosed bipolar disorder, depression, addiction, psychological and emotional abuse, an emotional affair that ripped out my heart after only 3 months of marriage. I left because even though it was an accident, I got hurt. And even though he didn't go through with it, he threatened to hurt himself and others too many times to not be taken seriously. 

I miss him beyond words and this is the hardest thing I've ever done. Make no mistake - it's my decision to be alone tonight and every night after. I don't know what's going to happen next or when it will happen, but I know that divorce is the only way forward and it scares the shit out of me. 

So, hold me accountable dear Divorce sub that I've lurked and read for so long now. 

Because in my weakest moments I'm afraid that I can't hold this line. The only thing keeping me together right now is that I know what the future holds if I go back / stay in this marriage... but if I leave,... there's a possibility of so much more. ",3.575642803598204,5.163303711956524,4.589943778110946,84.75663043478264,73.02173913043478,7.467166416791606,27.635307346326837,8.104835398774808,1.765052736131934,1458,55,290,22,29,475,186,368,0.08800000000000001,0.79,0.122,0.8818,0,1,0,0,3,0,57.0,2,0,0,2,19,23,1,2,26,0,18,8,2,2,3,54,43,30,0,6,8,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,26,20,0,9,6,1,3,4,6,10,0,3,11,0,39,13,35,27,4,49,0,5,0,4,24,17,2,3,27,192,65,1,0.0,0.10307911644863203,0.0,0.094841316915578,0.0,0.0,0.07711901087569506,0.0,0.0,0.09010431356302666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06689655431255184,0.0,0.21213415949344688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129966469905854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06946130401407309,0.0,0.0,0.05610690063722825,0.0,0.07493176783734147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997079343190302,0.0,0.0,0.17805954884088168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07267616798686913,0.19572343358867872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492351133813075,0.15739043131724895,0.07330007383171636,0.08313089180521764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06721490357112066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832993004256528,0.14594059833447906,0.06958072894975653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538651516614541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10309376144713084,0.0,0.0,0.0872666905571748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862676041236631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15465670839647058,0.0,0.09059565557019036,0.1434364682278583,0.07091547162512571,0.0,0.18423791438480197,0.37809693955826496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769910244826178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355589030326997,0.0,0.05807224193687234,0.08820292676891184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888290711844847,0.0,0.06395398215818357,0.1290167210482587,0.0,0.0,0.09252399948232808,0.16328458778546034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05895250379650125,0.1984990698348564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0603138760103911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980778512091984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702214437790637,0.0,0.0,0.08944905175441395,0.0,0.0,0.09855245593274944,0.14859266035143398,0.0,0.0,0.08710077695087266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893028140523494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737136325780168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18545786695156055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733940149285433,0.0,0.17095136816340264,0.0,0.1014591681088034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178295732029431,0.0,0.06905544027691662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850270592525255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056024246889434866
divorce,ragamuffin_77,2018/01/29,"People who don’t pay their child support - why not? Ex and I have been separated since March. He moved out in August. According to our agreement that we made during mediation he owes $1200 a month (he has a good job and we have three children). It’s actually $330 a month less than the Ontario, Canada prescribed amount because I owe him some money from the division but we didn’t know how much at the time. 

Anyway September he paid on the 1st.  Then he didn’t pay at all for October and then paid in three instalments the next two months. He hasn’t paid for January and his share of the extra curriculars. He says he’s been over paying this whole time and here’s no way he owes this much blah blah blah. 

He told me I need to budget better and use money on the kids and not the mortgage!  I will eventually get the money. In Ontario there is a government agency that will collect. Hey can garnish wages, suspend their license, passport, put liens on their property and even face jail time. But it takes time.

Meanwhile I am going deeper in debt and trying to explain to the kids that we can’t do as much right now - without telling them that their dad won’t pay their child support. I won’t drag my kids into the middle of our fights. 

He makes enough money to support his kids, there is no spousal support - I opted not to do it because my income and job security went way up in the last year but according to our last years taxes I could have gotten some 

Why why why ?",3.8689321295143233,5.2679201335616455,4.578829389788297,85.87482565379827,71.9794520547945,7.363885429638857,25.94396014943961,7.84624498591911,1.3611863013698628,1157,37,234,15,22,371,160,292,0.092,0.821,0.087,0.6189,10,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,7,0,6,1,7,10,1,0,16,0,22,1,1,4,1,34,44,17,0,2,7,2,0,3,0,4,0,1,0,7,10,16,0,1,2,0,18,4,13,1,0,3,11,1,27,9,29,28,11,39,0,0,0,0,44,16,0,2,17,144,37,9,0.0,0.0,0.1074148258203702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.134198278686362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735013052258204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0878838887264326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137342574069405,0.0,0.07270181020820543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057508308177139374,0.0,0.06255670574040878,0.0923235424870356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218459829614412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060492935800608334,0.1794474637568666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10415320661244597,0.07347421015074168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263576320552411,0.11698958668791418,0.24274773118843224,0.08161732145251079,0.0,0.0,0.11706329143175873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631037227408143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065320700865433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09400126454035647,0.0,0.08753402432642547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105306196197416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4996356137033578,0.0,0.0,0.08276077813798931,0.0,0.09620816645692278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2567365057973562,0.0,0.0,0.1051789359390469,0.0,0.07473196316902952,0.0,0.10752478225222738,0.0,0.0,0.09506724910465793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474076294397758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10203825704314386,0.3972930350320501,0.12289195123048445,0.0,0.106105906705832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1417660883134511
divorce,PriesTwc3,2018/01/29,"I'm getting a Divorce My STBXW of 5 years has told me she doesn't feel the same anymore. I have tried everything these past 2 months to try work out our marriage, she just doesn't want to try and work it out. I figured out that there is another guy in the picture. Our marriage was never perfect, I just feel completely heart broken that our marriage is coming to an end. We have 2 children and all of our finances are still intertwined right now, and we are still living together but take turns sleeping on the couch. It makes me feel somewhat not alone just by reading some of your posts, so I felt like I wanted to share some of my story. I hope this feeling goes away. This has been the worst 2 months of my life and I'm just glad I know that it's finally happening so I can finally start to move on. It just hurts so much right now.",3.2983265856950053,4.609647280701758,3.8932163742690062,90.57858299595144,73.26900584795321,7.132883490778228,26.604138551506967,7.61054688173877,1.258650562303194,659,23,142,8,13,208,104,171,0.086,0.8109999999999999,0.103,0.4307,0,1,1,0,1,0,13.0,6,1,0,3,13,7,0,0,6,0,13,3,2,1,3,35,32,8,0,3,7,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,10,10,0,0,7,1,1,2,4,2,0,0,4,5,22,5,18,28,7,25,0,1,0,0,17,9,0,4,14,96,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578488515646582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475991089450512,0.0,0.0,0.13959607382346267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224863190156955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125225642240738,0.1475841577859361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467155982375393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12650599104794566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846898948872625,0.0,0.1351516520065135,0.3083913489619948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07354127831477858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13937450745568095,0.12447358277057942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16680125044629665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13980641770774868,0.0,0.0,0.1506864666170712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07735800215313972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942293450335464,0.06876821468811342,0.0,0.12429363850980198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395837764885197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22470654138324486,0.14960557921554174,0.10347477912594928,0.0,0.10856277181918153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437132534445606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13480914828902174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407980686221913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2404165024716035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408616321453222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963063618936964,0.0,0.2248221988759999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583398488869032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345021901343382,0.0,0.28670035391206833,0.15310643470211174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604776276827346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049498793596813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064481017371837
divorce,Jebaxter5256,2018/01/29,"Did anything good come out of my marriage? Our divorce was final in November. He claimed there was no one else but then details of his affair started coming out. I knew her. She knew he was married. They are currently dating. Today is just a trigger day. 

I am stuck on the fact that nothing good came out of my marriage. No kids, no major assets, lots of debt. It makes the last six years of my life feel pointless. I turned down career opportunities so we could stay near his family. Now I am by myself across the country from my family with nothing to show for the last six years. It is just depressing. ",1.8301098901098882,4.479772529914532,2.9992002442002463,88.44480769230772,84.38461538461539,5.3941391941391945,22.88705738705739,6.868970318607317,0.8837672771672773,474,17,90,6,14,152,84,117,0.126,0.787,0.087,-0.6249,2,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,2,0,1,1,5,4,0,0,5,0,10,1,0,2,1,19,20,3,0,1,3,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,8,0,0,3,1,1,3,3,1,0,3,8,1,16,3,18,11,2,24,0,1,0,0,14,8,0,1,12,66,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250825183190778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21196460751988885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3192854371588594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14796845335078004,0.0,0.0,0.11952052192850478,0.0,0.1596217916019079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548168483894248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494194244775869,0.0,0.09370685155244618,0.0,0.0,0.20301656557696973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31088683005814505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30213232544223506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309018736770242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15755830716719624,0.0,0.0,0.12370714808737775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35565232703305844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12558230703755502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117533713896135,0.1975338220615419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17566823611006172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20158245453758106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386889011093826
divorce,TS409,2018/01/29,"Case Management Conference in uncontested divorce? [NJ] Served divorce paperwork, filed my answer (representing myself), and we have a signed agreement (Married <2 years, no kids, agree on how everything is to be split, no one seeking anything from the other)

What can I expect at a case management conference? Everything I read makes it seems like it's the first stop of a series of trials and check-ins, but I didn't think we'd need all that. Do we get a court date to get a ruling on the divorce at this conference? Eager for this all to be over.",7.045080906148868,7.308045563106794,7.143834951456312,74.42054207119743,64.24271844660194,10.750161812297735,33.671521035598715,10.504223727775694,3.5382763754045303,435,17,78,10,6,140,74,103,0.049,0.855,0.096,0.6798,0,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,8,0,8,0,0,2,2,16,14,4,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,8,3,13,10,2,10,0,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,5,53,15,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507508428848377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5477084397787804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591866622072521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3183974013519933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886619701245546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033966771055695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22593903280674105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647977380133545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30479303727085555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773970663197605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254751687462619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524623487569487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19622362207128535
divorce,Seaairruh,2018/01/29,"Military divorce I'm new here. I'm 30f, married a little over five years with two kids. My stbx has been cheating on me since before we got married. Everything is finally coming to a head, and I just can't take it anymore. I feel sick all the time. I've lost 15 pounds in the last two weeks from stress. Anyways, by biggest concern with everything is this: a couple years ago we moved to a new state together because of his job with the military. Now we're here, and all my family and friends are in another state. I don't want to deal with divorcing here, and being stuck here indefinitely, when everyone that can help me through this is in another state. I had a friend that had her kids taken away from her because she moved to another state while they were doing custody stuff, and that absolutely terrifies me. I don't know all the details of her case, but the thought of him having our kids makes my skin crawl. Has anyone dealt with a military divorce, and gone back to their home of record to file? Can I do that without it coming back on me for moving the kids? I know normally that's not something you can/should do while filing, but it's not like I want to go somewhere random, I want to go home. Technically my drivers license and car registration is all still in my home state too, if that helps. Any advice at all would be helpful. ",4.401457795431976,5.6194359660377415,5.033624627606756,83.81577954319764,70.47169811320755,8.446871896722941,29.041708043694143,8.841846274778883,2.1737547169811315,1061,40,213,19,19,341,149,265,0.073,0.8759999999999999,0.051,-0.1651,1,0,1,0,2,1,30.0,3,1,2,1,12,6,1,1,12,0,23,3,2,1,5,40,43,13,0,6,7,0,2,1,2,1,1,0,3,4,12,16,0,0,4,0,0,9,6,3,0,3,10,2,30,3,32,30,5,41,0,1,0,0,25,11,0,3,17,143,42,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10500885941753567,0.09525697959934026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07307661795757417,0.33804415405979465,0.0,0.0,0.10657163859367433,0.07513866731947445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10096239111528,0.1652605145490846,0.0,0.13101347562510693,0.0,0.0914407116162489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851348866223549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11890266247725895,0.0,0.0,0.11078674307564003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10268282197665322,0.1931565894173491,0.0,0.10130390867485824,0.0,0.05433510369991703,0.0,0.0,0.11771739163866615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16604696106816236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221442111319858,0.0,0.08594573507636996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11028516292629613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21608491178902864,0.0,0.32337401378911884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10663766272719498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811462632135213,0.08759440191421296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052499623533409485,0.10770334677165952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173054975807968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173051498786802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426395445745614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20757145302483732,0.0,0.0,0.105288175702831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889218424199331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272810858316305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581785099754433,0.0,0.1230952909601366,0.0,0.1230162143059125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08079669348544521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531139186558359,0.06266090421131335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20994599299772904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901484226419664,0.0,0.08619808699054313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358779380750076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633663975227374,0.0,0.0,0.13840168545774806
divorce,SWJPI3,2018/01/29,"Be +, Its not all gloom and doom - What's the best thing for you about being divorced? So much about divorce is doom and gloom, bitterness, recriminations and feeling hard done by.
But, for every man whos lost half his stuff, or the woman walked out on and left looking after their kids. .
There has to be some good stuff too. Even in the depths of a bad day there is always a bright side.

So what are your little pleasures you now enjoy because youre divorced?  #divorcbestthings
For instance:
I can now strip my bike engine in my living room,
Yes i am wearing THIS dress,
I can play my music and as loud as I want,
I never have to watch a costume drama again,
My toilet seat is always down,
My internet history is my own,
There are no socks, towels and dirty pants to pick up,
I learnt carpentry and now i finally have shelves!

Let us know the little things that do make it a tiny bit better for you. #divorcebenefits 
☺",4.228410256410257,5.451077533333336,4.691111111111116,86.09115384615384,70.8888888888889,7.316239316239318,24.401709401709404,7.61054688173877,1.034965811965812,716,19,145,8,13,227,127,180,0.103,0.73,0.16699999999999998,0.9137,1,0,0,0,4,0,27.0,1,5,1,3,13,14,1,0,8,1,18,1,1,2,2,19,25,13,0,1,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,10,8,0,0,2,3,0,1,3,7,0,1,2,7,21,7,20,19,6,21,2,5,3,0,15,12,0,2,8,106,31,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2937703589333349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14739324763189346,0.10760964138857754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1852549198228786,0.15612439648573348,0.1927225172724604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138457563159826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18064911603424336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1165948744110154,0.0,0.1487321924507103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892577041569417,0.0,0.0,0.19337745585322125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480630511211266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15813413672000556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701500185795232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19179785176107125,0.18051152320122885,0.0,0.0,0.3538542418525638,0.1558771844584236,0.0,0.14823880001390322,0.0,0.1927008266493028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178336038736956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12976816372897676,0.0,0.13614903715962728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4041639424731914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23455430670152685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123410758585818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104120605270951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,newbabymomny2017,2018/01/29,"Husband left me. Depressed and I don’t know how to move on Early this month, my husband gave me “the speech” in which he said he loves me but is not IN love with me anymore. We have had our ups and downs, but I was always in it for the long haul. To find out he is not has been earth shattering.

To make matters worse, we have a baby together that is only a few months old. This on top of him walking out along with my postpartum depression has been unbearable and I really feel like I am about to lose it (if I haven’t already lost it). It is becoming increasingly more difficult to function. Things are so bad today that I had to call out of work. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep.
The only thing keeping me going is our child. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know what I would do.

I have no self esteem or confidence anymore. He completely broke me. He treated me horribly when I was pregnant. Denied me affection, refused to help me around the house, etc. I knew I didn’t deserve it, but I forgave him for it. He now has since said that he knows he treated me badly and it is because he “lost feelings” for me and doesn’t care for me like he used to.

I feel unloved and unworthy of love. I feel like no one will ever love me and that I will end up alone while he will find someone else and be happy and probably treat her the way I should have been treated. Dating is the LAST thing on my mind, but I can’t help that these fears keep running thought my head. 

I am devastated and cry every day that our 3 month old child will be from a broken home. I will have to split up time and holidays with this shell of a man that I do not even recognize anymore. He will be in my life forever...a man that I thought I knew and could trust. A man I thought would never leave me. A man that just walked out on our marriage and refused counseling. I don’t know how I am going to handle this. 

I have gone to the doctor and have begun taking antidepressants, but my body has not fully adjusted to them yet and I don’t feel much benefit from them. I have also made appointments with therapists to get myself into counseling. 

Does it ever get any easier? How do you handle time away from your child? Especially one that is so young? I just don’t feel like I am strong enough to handle this or get through this.

I am completely broken. ",2.6100264812975813,4.017928303983229,3.9503900474456586,89.09785253227409,75.18448637316561,7.452918459671191,24.292673507668546,8.119692808369301,1.2150368972746337,1799,56,395,29,38,592,212,477,0.189,0.677,0.133,-0.9883,1,1,0,1,0,0,48.0,6,2,2,6,16,28,0,1,13,0,61,10,3,7,3,81,98,32,0,6,15,2,6,4,0,9,2,3,1,8,31,28,1,4,18,1,0,8,19,11,0,2,21,9,69,17,52,64,6,53,0,6,0,4,49,21,0,4,27,279,100,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373970136369256,0.08922369810218551,0.0646584062560565,0.06727647616392521,0.0,0.0,0.054983060335347916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405544344526779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07197663617671055,0.0,0.0,0.07596439733315638,0.0,0.13501836396340938,0.04928746045158392,0.0892961885940425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980986070226883,0.0,0.0,0.08256032494543199,0.0,0.08243539354510346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695464284345014,0.0,0.0,0.06455483233222198,0.0,0.08881362415268379,0.052143731171287615,0.0,0.13927776847139314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08275684445862531,0.07075532400047539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273317679059285,0.06754261103405433,0.0,0.0716120822606681,0.08354313883616937,0.0901728738675326,0.05340288460435578,0.14627299398702032,0.06812244663859532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098251346268436,0.2452913423109732,0.17328497893234984,0.0,0.0,0.14779702046026533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672763731385958,0.0,0.09190166044879708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08606990980861941,0.0,0.0,0.08297887801527243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838861161082748,0.0,0.08110251681950795,0.0,0.0,0.09329392687489936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14373237043699535,0.0,0.0,0.1777395781858528,0.06590628329685448,0.0,0.08561203853831703,0.08784741693578385,0.0,0.05710912235570414,0.15800347903327228,0.0,0.0,0.07155268313929755,0.0,0.09045423321364357,0.17652199654060358,0.0,0.2918932721938185,0.07650540829683933,0.05397024853768215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816388492862683,0.0,0.19360915210488733,0.08593433065715922,0.05943652590171646,0.0,0.06235909903551313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16968400976279002,0.0,0.10957666436486066,0.1229852539546815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717360184844491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051796735568826975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538201294545398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434769247652428,0.0,0.0,0.06688273850270324,0.0,0.08091175567886666,0.0,0.06850679323136212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0607916676629176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387698777832927,0.16114614777250774,0.0,0.0,0.19256561964708646,0.09429249391148113,0.0,0.07663953546435061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983134696440609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417763720359962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588622122028792,0.0,0.08239648576483366,0.11487182047022895,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,apr35,2018/01/29,"Terrifying four days ahead Just need to get this out there for my own coping.  In about four days a Gaurdian ad Litem will give his recommendation on if my stbx should be allowed to move our kids from our current home state.  It's been a bit over a year of brutally battling it out over her wanting to leave, and it all comes down to the next few days.  I've never been so eager and terrified all at once.  If this goes her way I don't know what I'll do - I have a great job in a vibrant city, she wants to move to an economically depressed area of the country with few jobs.  I want my kids to have access to the best, and this will be greatly impacted if they move :(.  Send good vibes in the direction of my kids and I please. ",4.581533333333333,4.492999953333339,5.306000000000001,86.70633333333336,69.46666666666667,8.8,27.333333333333336,8.515128840125781,1.4931333333333332,563,16,130,8,9,183,97,150,0.113,0.758,0.13,0.4362,4,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,0,1,2,4,8,2,0,10,0,11,0,0,1,3,22,19,8,0,8,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,7,8,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,3,0,2,2,0,15,5,26,12,7,26,0,1,0,0,12,11,0,3,8,88,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667566305451125,0.0,0.1734785647865898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13687900556169985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30743369314991875,0.0,0.13686106259569372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301913168852874,0.15243216709390675,0.0,0.1332784874852138,0.0,0.3503774791137165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593905007658535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31536913427444485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08732774728804812,0.0,0.0,0.16825304847907785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5066593442558278,0.0,0.11782296110780882,0.12255412547428007,0.0,0.16899284843036086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16922421104051746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1744254077700837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28117150122493856,0.12612809235767775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232693264432104
divorce,Deggo,2018/01/29,"10 years removed from Divorce being finalized, debt is still an issue. I live in WI.

Per the divorce decree, $40,000 worth of debt was in her name, however I was responsible for paying off $30,000.  The debt was for my car and a boat, that got repossessed; but all of the debt was in her name.  

To date I have only been able to pay my ex $12,000.  I just found out that my ex negotiated a settlement with the creditor to payoff all $40,000 for $16,000.  However, my ex is still claiming that I owe her an additional $18,000; even though she settled for less.

The divorce decree specifically states that I was responsible for $30,000 of the debt.  It states that I need to indemnify her.  

As is, I feel like I paid my share of the debt.  She is taking me back to court for the remaining $18,000.  She is claiming that her credit was ruined for 10 years, and the settlement will ruin her credit for another 7 years; therefore I should have to pay the full amount in the divorce decree, even though she settled the debt for less.

Any advice would be welcome. Do I owe her more money? How does the law handle this? 
",4.4221969696969685,5.300386522727276,5.362727272727274,82.73742424242427,70.13636363636363,8.593939393939394,26.484848484848484,8.841846274778883,1.7836757575757574,865,26,178,15,15,284,107,220,0.139,0.763,0.098,-0.8131,12,0,0,0,4,0,42.0,0,0,0,0,9,7,0,0,17,0,20,0,0,2,2,19,28,7,0,3,2,3,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,17,2,0,2,0,0,10,1,28,5,28,13,7,19,0,2,0,0,22,7,0,0,9,119,36,5,0.20049256176212246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959190109402361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13634181718113764,0.21023393227607992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15416640432780634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754523918935647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26484689230699565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137506335437092,0.14323192618316832,0.0,0.21962980141140867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21982974548979886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16035221698524685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2092621448767953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09795053840650234,0.0,0.17703860522996331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14866269411458816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524836277609398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320227237620062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15074545483794125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3939658479498969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14242416346319328,0.0,0.0,0.38733190910388426
divorce,xxdivorce_questionxx,2018/01/29,"Ex made agreement and I think he backed out. My STBX has never been the model parent. But, since he left, it's been abysmal. He's seen the kids for about 13 hours in the last 6 months. I've allowed him to visit anytime he's asked. He's just not interested. Alcohol and booty are way more important to him. We were supposed to have a hearing last week for temporary custody and support. His lawyer filed for a continuance, despite not actually needing one. My lawyer and his went back and forth for a few hours and came to an agreement for therapeutic visits only and an amount for child support. My lawyer typed it up and sent him the agreement.... then.... nothing. 

I'm thinking he only agreed so that the hearing would be cancelled, since the motion to continue was denied. 

Basically my question is this: can he even do that? I asked my attorney and she said that once we reached an agreement then ethically he had to sign it, but... 

I'm not even sure what to do at this point. I'm SO angry! ",3.208491313623896,5.264794274611403,4.061481255714721,86.16461444681501,75.1658031088083,6.8209692167022276,27.415117342273692,7.724431198458867,1.6001029564157276,777,31,154,11,17,249,115,193,0.067,0.823,0.11,0.7607,2,0,1,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,0,0,8,8,0,0,12,0,14,1,0,2,2,29,32,15,0,2,6,2,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,2,9,13,1,0,3,0,0,6,4,0,0,1,11,4,15,8,18,19,3,26,0,0,1,0,29,6,0,1,13,95,24,4,0.0,0.0,0.13990206769033814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1532119513473552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26805098628966945,0.0,0.0,0.2204753204677581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16396961885607986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1893804415782912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3231621032920089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28236828198090425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23372072737292204,0.0,0.0,0.15576483118904444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13565398305470128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144313551314276,0.0,0.0,0.10630219751646104,0.11057074724767416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756111737525945,0.0,0.0,0.1526774181998057,0.09714679851957338,0.21806876046220305,0.0,0.0,0.159188169104617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552481967437513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16059989827800708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637149123848374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2371834900951061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253743368989149,0.1351183751896795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837230474634679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137952506041006,0.11499752923317373,0.0,0.0,0.13289937431660245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184129680786827,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,naturegirl72,2018/01/29,"Ex tracking my daughters location I’m not sure if I should be angry about this; I was just looking at my eleven year old’s phone, and discovered that my ex husband has “share my location with dad” set up... which means for who knows how long, he’s been knowing everything we’ve been doing, every place we’ve been. Is this a big deal!? There’s no history of abuse, and we have 50/50 custody; I just feel like this is a major violation of privacy and there is no reason for him to not trust me when she is with me.... thoughts?",5.4879559748427695,5.100853330188682,5.994339622641512,83.55238993710694,67.58490566037736,9.708176100628929,30.874213836477992,9.2995712137729,2.3549987421383656,407,14,88,7,6,132,75,106,0.184,0.774,0.042,-0.9405,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,1,0,0,0,7,5,1,0,2,0,13,0,0,2,1,20,20,6,0,2,5,5,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,5,2,12,4,10,13,1,9,0,0,1,0,13,4,0,1,5,58,18,0,0.0,0.3160396253160355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2749940454063537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22473735386505447,0.0,0.2397259385290584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487019799663522,0.19055690427768732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931832637375396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031418251826324,0.0,0.0,0.2360537746975145,0.22399182790434627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2905546953717236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2798955207056244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27868330251540563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27424997201472245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513963842413466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21175931449077853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717698269597948
divorce,Ziggybutt,2018/01/29,"Possibly getting a divorce What is the easiest/cheapest way? Any advice?
We do not own a home together, we have no children. We have three dogs. All of the debt is in my name - cars and credit card bills. ",0.3900833333333331,2.8395191749999995,2.3500000000000014,90.08833333333334,94.75,5.666666666666668,24.16666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.4264166666666664,157,7,31,3,6,52,34,40,0.121,0.816,0.062,-0.3527,1,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,7,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,4,1,2,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,0,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4557432097870882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31715583440389306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436654083953192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4678192926560397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5257757648990983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3701924184145937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,delilah_may_07,2018/01/29,"Plan to divorce, but scared Hi fellow divorce readers. I kinda just want to just put my story out there for ya’ll to read, give me advice, tips, positive feedback. I’m ready to proceed forward. Just scared. 

So I’m 27 and my husband is 29. Dated/engaged for 1.5 years. Married for 6.5 years. The beginning should have been a clue for me, but it wasn’t. Not long after we started dating, he convinced me to drop most of my friends as he came up with (what seemed like valid) reason why. I changed my college and major because he didn’t like the past that I had there. By the time we got married, I had no friends. I had my cousins to be in my bridal party bc I had no friends. I didn’t see anything wrong with the things he was doing because I was just happy to be with him. I believed everything he said. He has depression and anxiety and does not take medicine for it. And we won’t change his mind either. I naively thought in the beginning that I can fix him. 

4 years into our marriage, and the emotional and psychological abuse had escalated to a new level. He used the restrictions on my iPhone to restrict me from the App Store, games, music, FaceTime, internet. He had his own password for it. He threw our aloe Vera pot on the ground, and had me sweep it up. 15 times in a row. To teach me a lesson. If I denied him hand jobs, blowjobs, or even sex, he would get really angry and make me sleep on the floor in our bedroom bc he didn’t trust me on the couch. So I stopped saying no, and just said yes. It was easier. I had to give into anal sex bc I have never done it before and he wanted to be able to do it first since he had no other sexual firsts with me. I could have said no, but everything was easier in my life if I just said yes. The last time he requested anal sex, I refused profusely. He kicked me off the bed and into the wall. I wasn’t injured at all. 

I became a person I no longer knew, or even liked for that matter. 

My breaking point came. I wrote a letter of the things that I was experiencing in my marriage and went to his parents house to talk. His dad was once this same person. He was the one who confronted my husband for me. I left for several days after that. And then I came back to him. 

He was a completely changed person, in the abuse department at least. Nothing bad has happened since. However, he still has tendencies that are controlling. He can’t handle me having a life outside of him. I still have no friends because of this. However, I’m justifying it because I am protecting him. Everything I do for him is protecting him from his depression. Every action I take is to try and stop his depression from getting ahold of him. I love him so much. I really do. 

He never says I’m beautiful. He calls me names (jokingly of course). And he picks on me by pinching and hurting me. He says it’s how he expresses his love. I can’t tell him how I feel about anything because it will push him into a depression. I have tried. So I suppress all my feelings. 

This past August, I found out I was pregnant. Come end of September, I had a really intense miscarriage. It fucked me up bad. He was perfect. He was there for me. Strong. No depression whatsoever. As soon as I regained my (mental) strength back, he broke down. He said I left him. And I shouldn’t have done that. Bc he needed me to be there for him. 

Fast forward to end of this past December, I began to have an affair with a married man. And he has made me see that I deserve so much more. This guy has no idea of my current situation. Just being treated like I’m the best thing in the world has opened my eyes. 

I feel like I’m just this empty shell. I still have no idea who I am because he robbed me of this long ago. 

I am planning to divorce my husband. It has nothing to do with the affair. I’ve thought a lot about this decision, because I really do love my husband. But even if he were to change and take medicine, I don’t want to be with him anymore. And he will never be okay with me being who I am supposed to be. I know he won’t fight me on anything. It’ll be a very simple divorce. I’m scared though. To address it. I’m scared of the future. The unknown.  

I know this is long, and if you made it this far...thank you for reading! If you have any advice, tips, words of encouragement, I would appreciate any of it. I’m just trying to wrap my head around what’s about to happen in my life. ",1.2417871833730274,3.4239809004474253,2.9552291260734656,90.99669517211521,82.27740492170022,6.037555026340478,23.03572201775276,7.27578935183782,0.8782841307642348,3391,120,726,49,93,1121,345,894,0.141,0.723,0.13699999999999998,-0.2269,6,0,0,0,7,0,131.0,6,3,0,10,35,40,3,4,36,3,86,17,6,9,6,123,145,45,0,14,23,7,4,5,5,9,4,8,5,5,43,45,0,11,15,4,1,12,26,17,0,3,49,16,125,23,104,76,13,96,0,7,3,7,119,40,1,11,51,487,168,6,0.05416997068847576,0.12836511465337125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586853683419564,0.04801841058633053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367487527121876,0.0,0.04143987930695403,0.0,0.053722055017630686,0.0,0.0,0.13373181088795633,0.048222758613455104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330672749339572,0.09045932568738001,0.2311505794094333,0.0,0.046094655249028,0.061031006945621274,0.05684804221594845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531359663874103,0.185868046268294,0.0,0.0,0.2292185852264803,0.04666263321111832,0.0567961836400456,0.0,0.06075622829322611,0.04325031374411581,0.0,0.0,0.03493514972420339,0.0,0.2332825818897428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047404506394475784,0.11086937485284716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060933925945810874,0.09595703106171227,0.0,0.0,0.10733626425173153,0.0,0.04564053663671909,0.0,0.14605343026478512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216989441679294,0.03869903788351901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215389878975026,0.0,0.05939457686099164,0.16740633991797665,0.05007926501821722,0.056603147803278624,0.10392954381119683,0.0,0.0,0.0433246740805721,0.0,0.0,0.05363678757225054,0.09580465236148726,0.057664941084394426,0.0,0.0,0.05559401796329812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06250487317501659,0.057990073991995524,0.12230260663159034,0.0,0.0,0.05375533734471409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059540798446531575,0.044155756080784515,0.0,0.0,0.11771166330444804,0.0,0.11478555688087952,0.13232355723740044,0.0,0.0,0.1438161582892027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04605337194285868,0.14667154044962774,0.1025138720810644,0.036158876071273605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05459058954090351,0.0,0.05469622827255441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07964232266548345,0.040166346880298485,0.12533766260315066,0.0523176952453828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10395509569556212,0.0,0.0,0.05768925086663584,0.03670697406837161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014934186572711,0.0,0.1551340994462883,0.0,0.14189738691601345,0.0,0.0,0.0512081315824907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054455782388217036,0.0,0.0,0.10836925970372366,0.0,0.13881068129764662,0.05569575186363108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25764023461604924,0.12923440474468784,0.2169343627478263,0.0,0.08633290645793491,0.04931430683297248,0.0,0.06119664800884081,0.0,0.08961991906107714,0.06088931668664763,0.05420909159346547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03834178406461216,0.0,0.12978062569806148,0.09057704213257703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122187229265105,0.0435397705173765,0.04734694201983493,0.04987243104485975,0.0,0.0,0.1079643645257798,0.0,0.05322172116546378,0.08600981176441383,0.09476083659544496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11033356286163404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046785462160936514,0.0,0.04469589895626195,0.09585255662282502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05021610553393007,0.0488799729463953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696158592941296,0.05922635920338564,0.0,0.1046510552733767
divorce,greensauce773,2018/01/29,"Divorced husband keeps trying to get in contact with me, can he track me based on my phone or email. (or anything else) In the past, I did find spyware on my phone and had my phone provider help me remove it. I have New phone, new email etc. New number. I'm certain no spyware. 
However, each time I give him my number (Ive given it to him to talk legal matters in past), he seems to know if I'm in my home town home state or what state I'm actually in and subtly let's it slip at some point, that he knows. (I don't advertise my whereabouts on social media)
I have New number. He's delayed a legal agreement with no notice. I emailed him. He says he won't put anything into writing about why he's delayed until we speak verbally. He's made it clear he has to have all my contact info. He has email and po box.

No legal reason exists for him to have my phone number. He's financially withheld before for the same basic reason.

I need advice on if it's possible for him to track me if he had my number (Android phone) and if not, what's the foreseeable risk to talk.

I'm in Colorado

Thank you

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divorce,marriageordivorce,2018/01/30,"Staying Amicable Looking to hear from people who have gone through a divorce but managed to keep things amicable.

Husband and I are discussing divorce. All talk at this point, but we need to take action. Genuinely want the best for him, but worried going down this path will bring out the worst in each other (probably after our families get the news and start giving their unsolicited feedback). Have seen other couples get petty and nasty. I don't want anything from him financially. Just a clean break. Is this even possible, or am I being naive?",5.841938775510204,8.183238857142861,5.803826530612245,75.27063775510206,68.59183673469387,8.16530612244898,32.65816326530612,8.841846274778883,3.0640163265306124,440,20,70,8,8,138,77,98,0.158,0.71,0.133,-0.5927,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,2,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,0,1,17,23,7,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,7,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,0,2,3,8,1,12,19,4,13,0,0,2,0,13,5,0,1,2,53,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863607087723731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237660165580844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2505782870875535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957744271997198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134902565018249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2366363546562067,0.2172450591797265,0.12870480174893995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552415687257915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20129175198423552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017285905547632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679203061046012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700173496474906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21408183213679985,0.255304315027039,0.0,0.0,0.2441666687817061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16029249898960066,0.24138066395567234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17027286550284887,0.18202331456207405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504527259564327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2671488596657061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299853486562693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,AfternoonFall,2018/01/30,"Movies/Shows to drown out the silence Just in the early stages of divorce and lonely as fek. 
I rewatched Flight of the Conchords and that cheered me up for a couple days. Although I never realized how fricking sad some of the episodes really are. 

Anyway, I am just wondering what shows people watch to help forget for a while. 
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divorce,FindingSelfAgain,2018/01/30,"Managing a joint kids expense account? Any suggestion on what you've used to manage a joint kids expense account? Part of our decree is joint expenses for the kids that will come out of a joint account. But I want an easy way to track, require receipts, etc. I just set up a basic google form as the sites like ourfamilywizard and others are a cost I'm not ready to incur. Open to hearing if folks use and app or website or some other system for tracking it together. Thanks!",4.442189440993785,6.042596728260873,5.183540372670809,81.30804347826088,70.84782608695652,7.431055900621117,29.447204968944106,7.957251820313856,2.0007465838509324,377,15,70,5,7,122,70,92,0.023,0.863,0.113,0.7988,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,8,0,3,0,0,2,0,16,10,7,0,2,6,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,3,5,5,0,1,0,0,7,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,12,9,4,9,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,4,1,43,8,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21570168128799905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27323313137376803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35375332659126296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3574988417273777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15496416473074753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3434884149115751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920281082714914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5479047130137409,0.0,0.0,0.1870882716637,0.25177253069356786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Rockunhappy,2018/01/30,"I feel stuck and like a shmuck Wife asked for divorce.   18 months ago, fall 16.  I talked her out of it.  Counseling, I’ll do better etc etc.   

spring 2017, she wants a divorce again and actually goes through with filing.   3 months go by and she drops the divorce.   We live as a married couple until this January 2018. 

 She comes to me recently and says I’m moving out in two days.   So she did.  We have been separated about 3 weeks now.   She said she wants a divorce but can’t afford to pay for lawyer now.  (I imagine not with the moving expense and her small salary). She comes and goes from the house picking up little things.   We split time with the kids (one teenage kid refuses to spend a night at her rental).  3 kids, 2 teenagers and one that is 8.   However I ended up spending time with them everyday as her job and hours doesn’t allow her to be there to take them to school nor pick them up for practices and etc.  

Anyway, I want to divorce her ass so bad.  I want those papers in hand and serve her with them right there at her job.   

However I had a buddy that had the exact thing happen.   Wife moved out of marital home.  Etc.  he keep the house and had the kids.  No disparagement in their income.  ....and he lost custody and has pay child support and half the equity in the house.   

Knowing that....reading other stories of divorcing men..... I can file and get it on paper to pay her.  Or not do a thing, live like we are currently and not get on with my life.    Sucks.   

My State is NOT a no fault State.   More than one lawyer has advised me to do nothing but wait on her to file, and then wait some more until she will agree to a settlement offer that I like.   Damn!  That could take years.",1.555259207540583,3.7215706884273034,2.5616416477570283,94.35081995112587,80.98813056379822,5.745121312620005,20.297521382440213,6.923569853693429,0.2348286611974162,1290,35,284,15,34,408,181,337,0.085,0.8240000000000001,0.091,-0.0925,9,0,0,0,5,0,55.0,4,0,5,2,9,10,2,0,18,0,20,3,2,3,1,56,44,28,0,5,7,2,2,3,0,1,1,2,1,6,12,32,0,4,3,0,6,7,9,5,0,5,8,4,40,5,47,33,7,49,0,1,0,1,50,18,3,2,24,185,52,11,0.0,0.0,0.09736750860726724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08844588118113797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932775946261026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0833092419530173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08824424002164642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17189730614550855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07966344707685855,0.11040084203611927,0.0,0.06434761300557824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883723978381219,0.0,0.4451088605200421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0504500157995872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10425824645083792,0.0,0.05670530616329907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08823206345126823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10008400336632887,0.0,0.098259791939064,0.3453861874170424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980256373165348,0.08868597184647735,0.0,0.0,0.05483457616078546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047511986362373,0.14623733036531966,0.10000230378334476,0.17620902291852295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891787819185986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15928136216488534,0.3181400100535077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09363352230529863,0.0,0.09573827964935702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2028334941116013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09980353941756613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851729460708196,0.0,0.0,0.08520861868298485,0.09491033668164964,0.0793463081277526,0.0,0.10097918374602873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132252334494156,0.0,0.0,0.15003907917088746,0.08019660215346948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19886129590808485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636100392616006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097467179986367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354031500405127,0.0,0.08003472073199952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06425281947187625
divorce,Whenoceanscollide,2018/01/30,"how does it feel to have a new relationship after a long time of being unhappy? I have been separated for quite awhile and have had this experience and it has been very exhilarating for me [34 F]. I was only married for 5 years so I hadn't really forgotten what it was like. I have just started dating someone who has been separated for a really long time but is high profile, lives in a small town and hasn't dated or had a relationship at all over the course of the separation, and he's been separated for 6 years. So it's been closer to 20 years since he has had this experience. I am wondering what it's like for you folks in longer relationships to start something like this? I am curious to know what he is going through because I doubt its the same as my experience and he is not the best at describing it, other than that he is really happy and thinks about it all the time.  Thanks! ",6.124775280898881,5.825163162921349,7.460988764044945,73.27474157303371,66.24719101123596,11.389662921348314,30.721348314606747,11.00357731598739,3.1971150561797748,705,23,144,19,10,243,97,178,0.053,0.8109999999999999,0.136,0.9332,0,0,1,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,2,5,7,0,1,10,0,26,0,0,1,2,19,34,12,0,0,4,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,17,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,11,1,10,6,22,22,4,24,0,0,0,0,10,9,0,3,17,102,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08564778267039562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14744657548218235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295290845262848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123092598984144,0.0,0.0,0.0710412593950311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07984965515619415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495653633238125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844646097618364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07721538412058976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20592429863628567,0.0,0.1240644894406772,0.2486769900030951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356962298147183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10685693892385838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943954480253938,0.0,0.0,0.270024597152415,0.0,0.0,0.4525347730910027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162234409968741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904559261861658,0.10816412633672326,0.0,0.0,0.19889391218536454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12935395629988564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09002702826437936,0.0,0.0,0.24578086247454276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592760246982806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1523667667871401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27143308932329496
divorce,Whoisthismanimarried,2018/01/30,25 years of marriage and husband can just throw me away I am in disbelief that my husband of 25 years is willing to just walk out of our lives (mine and our kids). I am hurt beyond belief that he is able to leave with horrible words toward me (looking at me disgusts him and so on). I am in shock that he thinks a 75/25 split in his favor is fair. I am sick over the fact that he is planning no relationship with his kids (he told them to have a good life). I thought I would be calm and collected and fair (50/50 split no alimony or child support). Now I am just severely depressed. How does a 25 year marriage end up here?,2.7060937500000013,4.029003671875,3.691062500000001,91.39768750000002,74.78125,6.995000000000001,26.08125,7.554174236665415,1.135706875,482,17,108,6,10,155,81,128,0.194,0.7190000000000001,0.087,-0.936,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,1,1,8,8,1,0,4,0,14,2,0,1,1,19,19,8,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,4,8,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,2,1,18,4,19,14,0,18,1,2,1,0,19,11,0,1,5,74,22,0,0.2291940488560991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533535350703525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974044984384285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005692566654121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20299789888868355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223709414250034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453569696045225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242683404730441,0.0,0.0,0.1618865347803465,0.0,0.0,0.2023825441695644,0.0,0.1924652770428953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24606863499311005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2589240377150816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600866905695418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685829205690984,0.0,0.1819544735680531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900473557718855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16281287640885994,0.0,0.0,0.4427803591237928
divorce,therapeutic_visits,2018/01/30,"Experience with therapeutic visitation? Is this a win? My STBX and I (well, our lawyers) reached a temporary agreement. I have sole custody and he has therapeutic visitation only. Does anyone have any experience with therapeutic visits? My child, 8, is scared to death. He just got to the point where he could trust his counselor, and now he's afraid the counselor will tell his dad what he said in counseling. Or that his dad will convince the counselor he's not an alcoholic (unfortunately my child bore the brunt of his dad's alcohol addiction, which was the main cause for the divorce). Any idea what happens during therapeutic visits? The kids have spent no unsupervised time with their dad since he left 6 months ago. 

Also, I've read that what's put in the temporary agreement can usually be made permanent. Would that be true in this case as well? My kids are scared of their dad, and even though I hope the therapeutic visits go a long way in mending that relationship, I'm afraid it's like our marriage - too broken to ever fix entirely. Do judges ever tell parents it's too little, too late? If the kids do not want to have extended/overnight visits, will judges force the issue in cases like this? With me having sole custody, would a judge look pretty hard at STBX's living arrangements before allowing him unsupervised or overnight time? Nobody's really sure where he lives. He says he's living with his parents, and that may be where his stuff is, but I'm friends with a neighbor of theirs and know his vehicle is rarely there overnight. His parents have an RV in the yard that he says he lives in, which isn't even legal in our area. But again, I doubt he even lives there full time. ",5.89233725265271,7.260388725552055,5.738062804703183,79.58769070834529,67.10725552050474,9.170576426727846,29.551046745053053,9.457814108942452,2.536408201892744,1354,48,253,27,22,422,162,317,0.059,0.848,0.094,0.8776,3,0,2,0,1,0,41.0,3,0,3,1,20,19,0,5,19,0,27,3,0,3,4,36,39,14,1,6,8,8,1,2,2,6,3,3,2,5,17,12,2,0,2,2,1,8,4,6,2,0,5,5,24,13,24,24,2,38,0,0,1,0,57,17,0,6,14,147,41,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929849176494667,0.0,0.0,0.08887467877128875,0.21429547211557648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017810059066895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13636084146251007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07010431098496929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531410407609079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10299491383260204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004966623905674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773843670952068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19866288553495806,0.18138230594712634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961475622909403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746083482781259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05698022115432942,0.0,0.08018729576354915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865982442415572,0.0,0.0898135075578928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958106910271172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318163954772953,0.0,0.10464567200149223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05510042159983456,0.0,0.11309795003086527,0.0,0.10893307521089662,0.0,0.0,0.0979642058098108,0.10048712847273876,0.4426582702142312,0.08872718272015072,0.08419337444511006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486869035810187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800267898720219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625245218462041,0.0,0.0,0.3339814898918818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477836082661424,0.0,0.0,0.10200073740157124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078926203296136,0.0,0.0,0.1002874004704412,0.0,0.06422929538750709,0.0,0.0,0.10764200713749886,0.0,0.0,0.09537047482608332,0.15946197951489452,0.20075603886351612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08293633026172592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477402050834826,0.0,0.0,0.09449411664079628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526378784447086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09850520486786388,0.0,0.17538770670839765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11042252121851936,0.0,0.05913610408480435,0.07958193449749126,0.0,0.0,0.1802920445233377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244403643698794,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Throwawway180129,2018/01/30,"My story (venting) My story.  50 year old man, married 14 years.  STBXW (45) has many issues, possibly resulting from an abusive childhood:   Dishonest, verbally abusive, lazy, and inconsiderate.  I thought of divorce early on, but once the kids came along, I put it aside.  Giving them a happy home, and seeing them every day, was more important to me than my own happiness.  I did most of the parenting, handled all finances (she is incapable) and was responsible for anything and everything important (she is too absent minded).  I forgave an affair in 2010 when the kids were 4, 4, and 2.  But I told her, absolutely, if it happened again, the marriage is over.

By early 2017 I figured I could hold on until the kids (10, 10, 8) were older, maybe 18.  This was not the life I had dreamed of, but my kids are everything to me.  But, she started asking for a divorce.  She said I did not give her unconditional love.  We tried counseling; our 3rd time.  Like the first time, “marriage counseling” soon became personal counseling for her.  We kept seeing him, but separately.  My sessions were about trying to save the marriage.  She consulted a lawyer, but promised no further steps without telling me.  She paid a retainer (I found out when I did the credit card bills) and a month or so later filed the paperwork (I found out via an advertisement from another lawyer offering to defend me).  Still I held out for the sake of the kids.  I refused to sign and called her bluff to have me served (per our counselor’s advice to me).  Before Thanksgiving, after she came back from a business trip, she said she was reconsidering.  She told me she loved me, something she had specifically avoided saying for months.  The day after Thanksgiving I found out - via snooping text messages - she had been having another affair for months.  She had flown him to the city of her business trip.  I can only assume the affair fizzled out and she had second thoughts about our marriage.

I confronted her about the affair immediately and told her we needed to tell the kids we were getting the divorce.  She actually said “But…we haven’t decided [to get divorced] yet??”  I just said “Are you serious?” The next day we told the kids we were getting a divorce.  That was probably wrong of me, but at that point I couldn’t stand to be in the same house as her.  She moved out a month later.  5 days after my 50th birthday.  The divorce decree is being drafted at this moment.  The divorce could be final in a few weeks.

As with the first affair, there was no real apology:  The same “it’s partially your fault” bullshit.  I may be partially to blame for our issues.  But I am not to blame for her shredding our marriage vows.

I can’t help but feel guilty though.  Sometimes I feel like I “destroyed” the family over an affair. .. Should I have forgiven this one, too, for the sake of the kids?  I force myself to remember she took all the legal steps before I even knew about the affair.  If I had stayed, I’d only be back in the same place next year…or the year after.

I think about what my kids’ lives were going to be.  Our financial situation is not bad.  We each have well-paying jobs.  But, it’s now effectively half of what it was, having two households.   My dream of paying for a major part of the kids’ college is over.  Many vacations and activities I had planned for them over the next years cannot happen now.  Instead, I have to worry about having enough retirement savings in 15 years.

I’m so disgusted; I don’t even feel like trying to date.  I’m just trying to spend as much time with my kids as possible.  We’re doing 50/50, but I take them out for activities on the weekends she has them, too.
This is not where I thought I’d be at 50.

Thank you for listening.

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divorce,WiscoByron,2018/01/30,"Wife began the conversation Hi reddit. I’m looking for advice and encouragement. My wife and I aren’t the best at communicating. This last week we began talking about ending our marriage. She says she still loves me and she still likes me, but feels like we have fundamental differences. That we aren’t fulfilling each other’s needs. And she doesn’t want to get to the point where we hate each other. 

There’s some history. We got married in 2009 and had a honeymoon kid in 2010 and another in 2012. We’ve had differences, but we’ve tried to work it out in the past. 

I haven’t always been engaged in the marriage, and we’ve tried to work through it, usually with me reading some self help books. 

She says she’s open to counseling, but feels like it won’t likely help our situation. I just don’t know what to be thinking. Help?

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divorce,Wurkthelurk,2018/01/30,"Child support Stbx and I are in a custody battle 

Stbx has supervised visits only.

Stbx has not seen child in 5 months. Has not requested or attempted.

Stbx has not sent A dollar for any kind of support for 5 months. 

No cards or gifts or presents for thanksgiving, Christmas, or new years.

Can I go ahead and request back child support for the past 5 months the stbx has not provided a thing while I have done everything by myself?  I even provide health and dental insurance with no reimbursement of any kind from stbx.

To clarify stbx is seeking full custody and over a 1,000 mile relocation with child. I have always and continue to be the primary parent. 

Should I go ahead and try to get the last 5 months of support paid to me for what I'm doing currently?

There is no agreement for support currently. Just that I have full and she gets supervised. But here we are 5 months later and I'm wondering if I should mention this to my attorney? By calculations stbx would pay around $600 per month.


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divorce,xKanji,2018/01/30,"My dad doesn’t know if he still loves my mom. So I know that this is a sub targeted to adults, but I couldn’t find one for kids so here is my story anyway. I’m 14 btw


So my parents are on the verge of a divorce. My dad is having second thoughts about his love for my mom. He sees her more like a really good friend. He is really struggling with his thoughts about the whole situation, he just doesn’t know what he wants. But the great thing is is that he and my mom are still on very good terms and don’t fight or anything. Me and my little brother know that they love us and that this situation won’t change that. That’s why we don’t worry about it. We know that it will be alright if they decide to divorce. But I feel like I’m thinking to easy about all this. Like I am supposed to feel very bad about this situation. Am I supposed to feel worried or is it a good sign that I’m picking this up well? Well, thanks for reading all this way.",1.6814661984196633,3.1684839303482586,2.8759028387474395,95.50277436347677,77.85572139303483,5.923441615452153,21.276265730172668,6.522977012572876,0.058511033069944325,734,19,175,6,17,236,99,201,0.079,0.6559999999999999,0.265,0.9938,1,0,0,0,3,0,17.0,3,0,2,0,15,18,1,1,7,1,20,3,0,1,2,34,40,14,0,4,8,7,3,3,1,2,0,0,0,2,19,7,0,0,13,1,0,0,6,3,2,2,2,4,22,15,18,34,5,9,0,0,1,3,30,5,0,4,6,113,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900899469067161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09140842176160943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11581176929392376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16606403613740378,0.07821013366494094,0.0,0.0,0.10005966584665768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08458138068413988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27547143525851925,0.0,0.1206983823557488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.300827492083706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045426963389636,0.10972435407005282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2964208262214572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3846531537449602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418420470720521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12156085330431915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950626617785328,0.0,0.14026707810007258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723870828625291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36916899157777655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17485637263155773,0.0,0.0,0.11444875431024418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10079138168639516,0.0,0.0,0.0727314152359302,0.07014821059551132,0.0,0.17382444738906574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168691871061805,0.0,0.0,0.18065938704551945,0.06457215885798634,0.08689746130770783,0.0,0.0,0.19686529439100472,0.0,0.0987856398183056,0.12222675919646135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22235768458117625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Femmeforever,2018/01/31,"Quick vent about severing that last financial tie with my STBX. We were committed and happy until I realized we had fundamentally incompatible views on how 'support' was supposed to go in a marriage.  I moved out about a year ago and it has been...varying degrees between contentious and amicable.  We're living in separate states and have decided to move ahead with the divorce.  But now y ex-spouse has become OBSESSED with the idea of me moving on romantically and is hounding my social media, blog posts and friends about tiny little details that might 'trip me up' into admitting I'm dating again.  Today was the last straw--my ex-spouse is still paying my car insurance (joint car insurance, the policy is still active) and threatened to remove me from the policy since she found something in an old blog post referencing 'children,' which MUST mean I'm DATING SOMEONE WITH CHILDREN.  

So I said 'fine. Do it. I'll figure it out.' 

Just...I'm just done.  I thought we could be amicable while we extracted each other from our lives but a few extra hundred bucks a month is worth not dealing with this anymore, even if I can't really afford it quite yet. 

Thanks for letting me vent! ",8.001805555555553,8.062034087962964,7.928148148148152,70.28166666666668,62.28703703703704,10.71851851851852,35.592592592592595,10.317481424215053,3.7264981481481483,937,38,158,19,12,302,149,216,0.026,0.903,0.071,0.8571,1,0,1,0,1,0,28.0,5,0,0,2,13,6,0,1,10,0,19,0,0,1,2,38,29,14,0,3,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,2,9,20,0,0,8,2,3,8,2,1,0,0,8,2,18,5,27,16,3,39,0,0,1,0,15,10,0,2,18,108,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12561072369702864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14053081155454078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15649928732845805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11313792237572455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608906383868067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450108639692015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935931702512009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15536948624683908,0.10947900634258967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08053280095707371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15084495494774405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15996488369192666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310129139624513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449004152937282,0.0,0.0,0.14202313982117787,0.250251821737316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15435557296546248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15032396815985094,0.0,0.0,0.11310559014050825,0.4518220223049048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14869294544942888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2714236653674209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15071805999859764,0.0,0.0,0.09077825526590086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13479153486519954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008350027335308,0.0,0.11721777911299346,0.0,0.0,0.14444786211275976,0.12006407537288202,0.10908951378602656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263276122183487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16080232707748934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304606312366849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11249596320300477,0.0,0.0,0.13431740895327698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125176939452667
divorce,Throwawayendogeaux,2018/01/31,"Marriage ended due to chronic illness. I am a 29F who was married for 5 years, and my divorce just became final a couple of weeks ago. The short version of my story: My ex had an affair, blamed it on my chronic illness, left for the AP and ghosted me until I filed for divorce. My illness did take a huge toll on the marriage, and I felt guilty all of the time, though of course he could have handled it/ended things with me better. Just curious, did anyone else’s marriage end due to health issues ? If you were the sick spouse, how do you feel about dating and remarriage since the divorce? Now that I know how it feels to have my poor health affect and aggravate another person, and to be abandoned because of it, the idea of dating again is nice, but in reality it scares me. Has anyone decide to stay single for health reasons?",7.651296296296297,6.402681259259263,7.530956790123457,77.13680555555557,63.56790123456791,9.334567901234571,34.44753086419753,7.6454224807358475,2.507034567901235,652,23,121,5,8,209,104,162,0.129,0.828,0.043,-0.9089,0,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,0,2,0,1,8,4,0,1,11,0,13,9,0,4,1,24,18,12,1,2,4,2,3,0,0,0,9,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,7,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,6,3,15,2,21,10,3,21,0,1,0,0,14,6,0,1,14,84,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13871552132451725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16408936212458072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218837495219564,0.16033854316185042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09539249852511336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383992741665284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249414494400579,0.17314893755586094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307240901522504,0.0,0.4158008176222568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582481885874932,0.0,0.1502512347556802,0.17142291744712249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4990123477669639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665380456259772,0.0,0.16333087384087247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08600069010759594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17002264904099915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663766154340276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608938147053928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15666992542196426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12944695213586782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16679340415416613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765810238023106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10396243806486376,0.0,0.15374683807958106,0.0,0.09124832669372364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552374245290565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077194359517744
divorce,JadedOne,2018/01/31,"Advice needed for a friend My friend is going through separation and I am asking these questions on her behalf. 

She has showed me video proof of her husband harming her. At this point, I am scared for her and would like for her to not go home alone. Her husband, John, not his real name has acquired a 2nd DUI. Can she get him arrested for 1) her own protection 2) for him driving with a suspended license? 

What else can we do so she is protected? She has 3 business bank accounts that need to be protected. If she freezes those accounts, he may freak out and harm her more. She is afraid that he will bleed those accounts as well. ",3.0774944567627465,5.168190422764232,3.448957871396896,90.25130820399114,75.66666666666666,6.423946784922395,26.62897265336289,7.348242739294969,1.2834617886178863,494,19,100,6,11,153,85,123,0.14400000000000002,0.722,0.134,-0.3596,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,1,2,9,0,2,3,0,15,1,0,0,1,17,21,6,0,4,3,2,1,1,2,3,1,0,1,0,7,6,0,3,1,2,4,3,2,5,1,0,0,1,22,4,14,17,2,7,0,0,0,0,27,4,0,3,1,71,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23872598140829576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25301990287790155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22838642061316805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20408031800512166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774893276694576,0.0,0.12763605141061998,0.0,0.2776813007737142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24505163733151875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11935206439816184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3622889619643112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309413511071902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736705910040258,0.0,0.0,0.2780655432059788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445857390532601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21965398004860545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735428738427939,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,uniformdiscord,2018/01/31,"This is why I need to stop trying to engage with my wife Wife told me just after Christmas she wants a divorce, after carrying on an emotional affair with a guy she met online and ""fell in love with."" (EDIT to clarify: She's actually no longer talking with this guy, considers him a danger, and regrets the whole shebang.) She has bipolar disorder. It's been a struggle our entire marriage, but she just recently decided that it's never been good, it'll never be good, she needs time to find herself and work on herself, and she just wants out. Less than 3 years of marriage and a son.

Anyway, I've been an absolute mess during this whole thing, and *not* handling it in a healthy way. This has definitely been eye-opening to me, how codependent I am. In an attempt to respect her desires and practice self-care, I decided to distance myself from her, not live under the same roof, etc. We're planning to switch off at the house and taking care of our son. The problem is, I still so desperately yearn for her company, her presence, to talk to her. Every day I found some reason why I needed to go back to the house, pick some stuff up, etc, and have a chance to see her.

Well, yesterday I went over there. I needed to pick up some clothes, and I also wanted to invite her to watch the super blue blood moon with me. I was prepping myself mentally for her to reject the offer, and was ready for it. What I was totally unprepared for was when I got over there and saw that she hadn't taken her medication for the day.

This was a, shall say, triggering moment for me. I kind of saw red for a moment. She's always been very forgetful about taking medicine. She had agreed that, even during this quasi-separation, she'd like for me to remind her in the morning to take medicine. Her bipolar diagnosis is a new one, and she was prescribed a new mood stabilizer. She told me a few weeks ago that, hey, maybe the decision to divorce was rushed, maybe it just a mood, maybe once she's on the new stabilizer for a while (it can take quite a while to take any affect), she'll be in a better place to make a decision and maybe we won't divorce. The problem is, she still hasn't taken the medicine. Chose not to take it for a week because she wanted to drink, keeps forgetting it, etc. I feel like there's this month-long timer that I'm anxiously waiting to hit zero, and it hasn't even started ticking yet.

So anyway, I lost my cool. I didn't yell, but I said some very uncool shit. Are you actually interested in getting better, every time I come over here you're a mess, etc. She snapped back, we argued, it was a fucking disaster. Arguing was always difficult for us, and with this situation, it's a disaster. I've been sincerely regretting what I said and stressing about how she reacted to it. It's like there's a steel door that's just slammed shut.

All this to say, holy shit, I need to actually give her some space, take care of myself, and stop trying to engage with her. It's just really hard.",5.420834274952925,5.684059910169492,6.1416666666666675,80.2202777777778,67.69491525423729,9.335216572504713,30.287193973634647,9.225670689056813,2.429747645951036,2337,82,466,41,36,767,264,590,0.146,0.737,0.118,-0.9571,0,0,1,0,3,0,94.0,5,1,0,8,29,39,6,2,38,1,37,9,3,9,4,87,82,28,0,15,11,4,2,3,0,4,3,5,1,2,34,29,1,4,8,1,0,5,11,18,1,2,31,14,72,19,75,43,16,57,0,5,6,2,68,21,3,5,33,326,106,2,0.0,0.0,0.1977270553906693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059869881638915164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054011485146960886,0.11239690562980274,0.0,0.0,0.045929321778773784,0.0,0.0,0.07630065277568021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038677426814868,0.0,0.041171582973602766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11946677753352936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772248008751908,0.0,0.0,0.058179483518870326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08711505664126437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740636398673549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616320740400103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597308802238094,0.0,0.0,0.3012985391732454,0.08921868866332759,0.0,0.1138102445712689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03415010890577034,0.048250385411251706,0.0,0.0,0.06173007531102701,0.0,0.0,0.07405381067888354,0.0,0.06243937757610915,0.03528671313765863,0.06479024826921384,0.03838437610613312,0.1132982159571684,0.054017679418710704,0.0,0.0,0.1337498715276686,0.0,0.0,0.06050231788633986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15586352455859634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06003240135746527,0.0,0.07033221918172504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989894785742692,0.0,0.059638805136867534,0.05977052182973298,0.0,0.0,0.07372757655445326,0.0,0.060957229107845075,0.0,0.04508328376865553,0.0,0.27141088398979313,0.0,0.0,0.06803915664749652,0.06806414653264041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539095556104344,0.0,0.0,0.2503992119093217,0.10418158276268964,0.19569083089477968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07192759150188081,0.04576665837044057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056462637771377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12925277034915875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183679981597307,0.0,0.0,0.04326767045197172,0.06944207505308844,0.06668731984740506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849146953044902,0.10742058335909313,0.0,0.0,0.05382040792340896,0.0,0.07045865190884569,0.0,0.13865709237256918,0.0,0.07591746870817433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478049574266134,0.0,0.10787460621446412,0.11293245081344165,0.07736651457025877,0.07060717386016127,0.0773168141708895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35547021827636976,0.108571728036451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044870385104744184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876590112972075,0.0,0.0,0.12907418278323413,0.0,0.091710065211339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08124196039132665,0.0,0.0,0.11145467530397923,0.1593466936180956,0.053609881518918164,0.10835256980288448,0.0,0.060726314374805385,0.06260999183383031,0.12188817410158655,0.15081135813072175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049169716425159694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043493361650945785
divorce,phile10,2018/01/31,"How to Handle Family of Spouse You're Separating From I am just curious to hear your thoughts and opinions on this matter. I am going through a divorce in which my Soon to Be Ex Wife cheated on me, and shortly into the separation started a new relationship with another man. we had our flaws but never really worked on anything. She just gave up.  I've had a hell of a time dealing with all she has done, but find myself missing the interactions between her family as well. Is there a right way to handle this? Ive basically stayed away because I know it brings up too many difficult feelings about the fact my marriage is over. But I feel like I'd still want a relationship with my in laws and their family. Do others find themselves in this situation? Am I just setting myself up for failure if I try to keep a relationship with her family and friends know it is just too difficult to bear seeing her and knowing whats transpired. Thanks for the input.  ",4.646972049689438,6.298242423913043,5.824844720496894,76.71021739130438,70.41304347826087,8.9527950310559,30.534161490683232,9.424239791934726,2.8956378881987583,762,32,139,17,14,254,118,184,0.117,0.79,0.093,-0.8223,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,2,1,1,1,12,9,2,0,11,0,13,0,0,1,3,36,29,11,0,2,8,3,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,8,11,0,1,8,0,0,2,1,5,1,0,5,4,22,4,31,23,1,25,1,1,1,0,23,14,1,2,7,106,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14402113680379944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11302553105940645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129042772977051,0.0,0.0,0.08372593995283466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159954392574853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405544786363464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5179171033654015,0.0,0.13889434221951116,0.09812129094559516,0.0,0.0,0.2510667895421336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10611456436378536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07805791608861955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15480094513326534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208102939598432,0.0,0.0,0.22644826565545806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06710119407995181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924910477317662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059310853820316,0.13265135459508184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08798851335114988,0.0,0.0,0.44238038694121773,0.0,0.11729426498517735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094484087464293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438467426688782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721547499192998,0.14639447290568805,0.10968612511375536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264513947722938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903880594801628,0.08008860276936819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325013587500644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101128702110692,0.109020285273203,0.0,0.0,0.1234921609441582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999082929481504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,onedaysomeday81,2018/01/31,"STBF - Soon to be free Last night we met with the lawyer after mediation to look at the concept papers and with minor adjustments to be made this week we'll sign next week and have March 1st set as the date.

As much hurt as everything has caused me, and as much as I have dreaded this divorce and have been scared for the future, I now feel elated, and almost looking really forward to it. At least I'm looking forward to the great future I envision that awaits me. I notice I'm not over the top with it being super great and all, but just right.

There's still a lot of hurdles though but I'm feeling more empowered now that this is almost over. Like I feel like I can take charge again of my life and make it mine again. I'm also completely ready to leave all the infidelity, emotional blackmail (into open marriage) and the anxiety behind.

I think I'll soon wear my new shirt with 'freedom' plastered all over it.

Let's get this show on the road! That was then, this is now!",4.620153846153844,5.384277682051284,5.025128205128208,85.75153846153849,69.61538461538461,8.051282051282051,26.282051282051288,8.139509932561175,1.439051282051282,768,22,158,10,13,244,116,195,0.057,0.8059999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9424,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,2,0,0,2,12,9,0,2,10,0,14,3,2,3,3,34,30,18,0,0,4,0,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,12,15,0,0,5,1,1,2,1,3,0,0,4,6,14,7,27,21,8,34,0,1,3,0,5,13,0,3,24,108,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2987199957120024,0.0,0.0,0.11928144432560922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11410531405093804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15322615514259516,0.0,0.0,0.15638912273701092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16778245672246894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13405341913229182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262560066478569,0.10655836708547256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07792879786791433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32889401746290503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15967651729099966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158352048841604,0.0,0.15793658086884302,0.0,0.15252396335304907,0.10535457016647773,0.14574194044408928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37576497444347023,0.0,0.0,0.12680863353196875,0.0,0.141136723417346,0.09956399436591147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21929630084531007,0.0,0.0,0.14405753940972246,0.15863101984566252,0.13997449759201888,0.0,0.0,0.1698171518194861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555431053363787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273799521476058,0.0,0.0,0.14933298554290778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11911761730219375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214810790539737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09557429996282282,0.14654678800904736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23929079134397185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Nicetryrabbit,2018/01/31,"1 month after D-Day...the struggle is real. So this is kind of an update, kind of not.  I posted under my regular username on r/survivinginfidelity about a month ago.  Now I'm posting under my ""throwaway"" which also has history about my marriage troubles.  Go figure.

To set the backstory quickly, my wife started drifting away about a year ago, I noticed the distance growing as she began to have a mid-life crisis as she approached 40.  The further she withdrew, the more I chased her.  She began to feel I was holding her back, began to feel like she was ""living in a prison"" and wanted time and space.  I tried to give her that as best I could.  Turns out that was code for ""develop an emotional affair (at least) with a co-worker"".  I may not have always been the best husband but I tried to make the changes she asked for.  I always tried to be there for her and carried as much of the load as I could.  It was just not enough.

After I caught her at the AP's place, I said she had to choose to end the affair or the marriage.  Much to my dismay, she chose to end the marriage.

Now, about a month later, we're in a weird place.  We're civil with each other, friendly actually.  That's because we don't talk about the affair or all the pain and hurt she has caused.  She still says things that would normally give me hope for reconciliation, yet I don't see that happening.  She still isn't remorseful, I doubt she ever will be.  I feel like she still hasn't been honest about everything.  I still cannot trust anything she says unless it's about the kids.  She is still pining for the AP who supposedly broke it off after I caught her, but there is no sign of feelings for the 11 year marriage she's destroyed.

So here I sit, playing my new favorite game of what has she packed and taken from the house today?  It's a punch in the gut to see more of our marriage, more of my life boxed up and removed from the home every day.  The days still vary, some aren't too bad, others are torture.  I make plans for the future, but it's hard to get too excited.  I work on paperwork I don't want to file.  I hold my kids as they say this is the worst thing ever.  I miss my wife, the person she was, not the person she is now.

She's moving into her new place, literally a stones throw from my house, next week.  Just another nail in the coffin for our marriage.  It's heartbreaking.

I know I'll make it through.  I know I'll end up okay.  But sometimes it's a lot to take.  Sometimes it's overwhelming.  Sometimes I just need to vent like this.  The struggle is real.",2.7734586466165427,4.36785206432749,3.8488150932887777,89.22346491228072,75.14035087719299,6.367195767195767,23.325396825396822,6.971451493551832,0.6733104427736007,1971,57,416,19,42,638,236,513,0.122,0.792,0.086,-0.9687,0,1,0,0,0,0,76.0,3,0,1,4,32,30,2,4,38,1,35,3,1,4,3,58,68,22,1,8,14,3,5,3,1,3,2,4,1,4,24,12,0,2,8,2,0,9,12,16,0,0,15,11,68,14,70,46,14,76,0,5,2,0,58,21,0,7,45,291,92,1,0.0,0.0,0.0736201618247715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374893079689829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033065534292805,0.12554698240036802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0791071414710848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062082044856662175,0.0,0.07052775314091347,0.0,0.07087990779869577,0.05800996739780736,0.06299062142812607,0.045988525876388665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834270171458992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749934960709752,0.07980725600470735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046802776834555,0.0,0.0,0.14596085748531307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08486169518103137,0.2004567125958084,0.07795138493564722,0.0,0.0,0.13648257198394062,0.06356283872810634,0.0,0.06780208500103663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15258224762467332,0.107791050902938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0582860269093991,0.0,0.039415145180703125,0.14474099822573094,0.042875224762130834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06671279652040989,0.0,0.06758089465448493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756741199327572,0.07493057473869844,0.0,0.17409905606359322,0.08076184007921293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15712172562596832,0.08292150899809465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053286664136673836,0.11057092946418327,0.0,0.06661635368822767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06413778779573644,0.0,0.0,0.1510736492825668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806504011345374,0.0801825282310707,0.11091657733588473,0.05593902300867251,0.0,0.14572401950388356,0.0802330441177525,0.0,0.07391679321053732,0.0,0.0858908115647247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08027522810427652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13174546700700432,0.23646138271218495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14450448165329055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17173821399339848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176227927870676,0.1799826696231397,0.0,0.0,0.12023444539649665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22384114446246528,0.0,0.053397983824013465,0.0,0.36148676545761216,0.0,0.0,0.15773597261045788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056722727358436316,0.060637135660412476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10024015194150217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043990629223604236,0.0,0.07150985722461642,0.0,0.0,0.15365977219534224,0.08205884491228466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899487235493474,0.0,0.060514736139098725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10984483047945713,0.0,0.0,0.053591579275548064,0.0,0.0,0.09716389039586257
divorce,RepresentativeDriver,2018/01/31,"I feel like I'm going to be left on empty. My wife and I are on the brink. Everything devolves into a fight, even when we're trying our hardest to be productive and helpful. For example, tonight we were discussing a fight from yesterday. We were hoping that the discussion could help us digest and process what went on the day before. I came out and said that the fight happened because I wasn't able to accurately describe my own feelings, so I shut down. I went on to explain how I thought my habit of shutting down has lead to lots of fights and that I found a book that we could work on together that focuses solely on communication within relationships. 

Her response: Is that it? You spent all this time thinking about it, and all you have is that you don't communicate well and you found a book. If you don't have anything else to say about it, then I'm going to bed because I have to be up early tomorrow.

I was mildly shocked. I thought I identified a problem that spanned more than just the one fight and offered a solution, only to be left in the living room by myself. I hop on the computer to do some reading on communication (still trying to figure out how to talk about my issues) and an hour later she calls from the bedroom. I walk in there, and she's in bed with the lights on.... She asks me if I'm mad at her and what I've been doing so I tell her ""I'm not mad at you, I've been trying to do some productive reading."" ""Well maybe instead of spending so much time on the computer, maybe you should actually tell your wife goodnight!"" I freeze; I can't say anything. I wanted to say: you left the room without asking if it was okay to shelf the topic for a while, I thought you were pissed at me! 

It like this all the time. I can't handle it any more.




I had some money saved up before we got married. It is almost all gone now. I took a job across the country shortly after my son was born, only to develop fibromyalgia and no longer be able to do my physically demanding job anymore. So we move back, buy a house, and my wife starts college. All of these things I paid for with my savings. Now shortly after she gets her first job out of college, I am afraid of being left with no money or means to make any. My savings are gone, I do not have a degree, and I can't use the skills I formally made money with. How am I going to live? How am I going to be able to get a job that doesn't require crazy hours? I can't work the jobs I have connections for because they almost all require travel or nights, which just isn't doable since we'd be sharing custody (thank god we figured that out before we got married).

I just feel fucking afraid, and alone, and in a terrible position to actually make things better. ",4.6676883116883126,5.087428418181818,5.513844155844153,83.51990909090912,69.36363636363636,8.322077922077924,29.532467532467532,8.238735603445708,1.9137376623376627,2130,76,440,28,35,698,243,550,0.084,0.853,0.062,-0.913,5,1,0,0,5,0,64.0,10,10,1,8,24,26,9,2,29,1,49,3,1,9,6,89,93,32,0,9,11,4,4,2,0,1,1,4,5,0,25,33,1,2,13,5,7,14,14,14,2,2,27,9,73,12,74,54,14,78,0,0,0,1,56,40,2,12,26,313,98,18,0.22211511676563545,0.0,0.1445015423149801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14827746998576094,0.07668142485161472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.100697264035021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0734261705730716,0.0,0.0,0.12185454377576414,0.0,0.13843176722606734,0.0,0.0,0.0569309381482801,0.0,0.13539931358235288,0.0,0.18900360481619544,0.0,0.0,0.06548092359523243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07560145605884534,0.08468017381253942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822723137720985,0.0,0.0,0.047748625062896635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061849559622806076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04890164660204836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0665409149611821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11230807684923172,0.05289302793268959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06297700161776316,0.0,0.16235850733108914,0.0,0.06844728211150712,0.07736398736445095,0.0,0.16831085267038015,0.0,0.11843049965303132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06547188806980449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925272052152474,0.0,0.0,0.0735368094005369,0.14582576555403462,0.08543034100037274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727682486143628,0.36735830077522397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217716323545645,0.0,0.0,0.07234281772251888,0.0,0.13075447829442458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062944776454134,0.0,0.07005689800083015,0.09884237679547303,0.0,0.148762992727934,0.08064949247850578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869107258743865,0.054426722571876966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947999686463112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017031716826604,0.11261903679383754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07084472314765508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14811681618046266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794895037147772,0.0,0.0,0.07042744663135389,0.1766348559000327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124530662093927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240474095564957,0.0,0.05912713972227648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950923909504378,0.1294256014488202,0.06816458580357425,0.0,0.0,0.09837560933315677,0.04744079940269687,0.0,0.17633459221261255,0.12951711078849518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08225935580055135,0.15080158426468093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08905904571868632,0.06394538190770085,0.0,0.0,0.0436697502242035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13313877661697812,0.13726862567858372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137034878854895,0.0,0.1078016335891038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Moctezuma1,2018/01/31,"Still walking on eggshells after a year Wife left me 18 months ago (pending divorce). I stayed in our house with our daughters. I pay the mortgage  and all the house bills, she doesn't pay a cent. Nor do I ask her to. About 6 months ago she moved in with her boyfriend. Before she moved in with her boyfriend, she had her own apartment. She was afraid people would steal her mail, she asked if she can still have her bills delivered to our house...I mean my house. I said ok. But now she lives with her boyfriend, and I'm still getting her mail and now even more bills. 

So today, I put all her bills back in the mailbox and added return to sender, does not live here. Now am I a little nauseous because I know she's going to start to raise hell and make threats. She's a narcissist and if anyone ever dealt with a narcissist, they're vicious. I don't know if I did right by it. 

For 12 months after she left, she had the keys to the house. She would come and get her stuff- no to clean or care for the house, not sure what else. She just wanted access to the house. It wasn't until my and her sister demand I put my foot down and change the locks. I did so, she became angry and made many threats. I know I need to stop being passive. I realized then that I was in an emotional abusive relationship. She's been out of my life, yet she still controls me. You usually hear women being in this type of relationship, but men do too. 

I have to brace for the storm that's coming.",2.0549555555555514,3.9189736066666683,2.628,96.01122222222223,77.93333333333334,5.511111111111113,20.444444444444443,6.238725200709706,-0.09198888888888934,1142,28,257,8,27,353,156,300,0.084,0.887,0.029,-0.8863,1,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,3,1,0,1,17,9,4,1,15,1,20,2,1,3,4,44,40,21,0,7,9,3,0,0,0,2,1,2,2,2,7,18,0,2,5,0,7,8,7,6,0,0,10,2,54,3,34,26,4,48,1,0,0,0,46,14,1,4,25,171,61,3,0.0,0.1047166826934876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668832387654694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06179784352876684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16524805634834847,0.0,0.0,0.06795930633268554,0.0,0.053876057133248174,0.0,0.07520546996919461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901100184863565,0.0,0.09349506648059183,0.15226430230070126,0.0,0.0,0.09912647524235683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07734255008078011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07383073783186829,0.09941639682660257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058374621773235866,0.07994540709636745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235054062739996,0.0,0.050228791092244734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0996114772671269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6118768005222668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14571517148748792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19205178804007408,0.0,0.06242590530481875,0.0,0.08858068433687097,0.15608356253742378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08362795953855105,0.05899480653031545,0.08960416244642383,0.0,0.0962724968741442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116339053534546,0.18786940393248716,0.0,0.06553317250685457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127205232052895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776940378410754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897756021204399,0.0,0.07547663872515074,0.08407028894171903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625563175265822,0.09420207155275503,0.2823237790669064,0.07389022637438686,0.0,0.0,0.10117476173559582,0.0,0.0,0.08329776803325255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08377457376605943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09733885965696272,0.0,0.05212922936960536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255662333979189,0.0,0.0,0.0569142760123107
divorce,roseatnight,2018/02/01,"Desperately lonely Desperately lonely, as if there is a big hole in the heart, aching and empty. 

Sleepless, Mind can hardly get ease",6.02695652173913,8.7248327826087,6.338478260869567,70.10163043478265,69.0,8.078260869565218,24.54347826086957,8.841846274778883,2.1473652173913043,106,3,16,2,2,34,21,23,0.469,0.463,0.069,-0.8996,0,4,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,3,3,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,9,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792983434694691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788827198440278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6334852208970194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5397779644215307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Throwaway2249991,2018/02/01,"Going back to court over custody Using a throwaway just in case.

I don't want to go into all of the details just in case he reads on here.   I am planning to take my ex back to court over the way he is handling his parenting time, and what he is exposing the kids to.  In a nutshell:  bad mouthing, name calling of me and them, emotional abuse, shaming and punishing them for missing me when they are gone, and scaring them with the police.  They are also picking up on the fact that he is emotionally abusing his girlfriend the same way that he did with me.  They are woken up to late night yelling, him calling her names and crazy, etc...

The final straw was when my child told they were afraid he's going to kill me, and made sure 3 times that I set the alarm that night.  And again the following night.  *I* am not afraid he will kill me, but it definitely goes through the heads of my friends and family.

I want to go back to court, not to remove them from him.  He only has EOW and 1 dinner per week.  But what I ultimately want is for him to be forced to take some type of parenting course to help show him how much he is damaging them in the long run.  I don't know if he is even capable because I'm fairly certain he is a sociopathic narcissist, so it may not be possible for him to change.  Throughout the divorce he refused to do anything without being forced by the judge, so I guess I want the judge to put the fear of God in him that he could lose custody.  Little kids should not be growing up with these fears.  

Just wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about this type of thing.  I've literally been walking around my house saying, ""I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do.""",5.325874635568514,5.170557877551026,5.753893586005829,84.35602988338194,67.89212827988338,8.959125364431486,30.269533527696794,8.548686976883017,2.0020135276967936,1324,45,284,18,20,426,178,343,0.154,0.784,0.062,-0.9801,2,0,0,0,3,2,38.0,0,0,9,2,17,17,3,7,18,0,33,3,2,4,4,52,56,20,2,8,13,3,0,0,2,3,0,2,0,3,14,14,1,1,4,2,0,11,9,14,0,0,8,2,38,3,49,40,5,44,0,3,0,0,48,15,0,7,15,190,52,3,0.0,0.2421410641410612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09985236346071387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08171596881800051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948816563910708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07144895736182924,0.0,0.08408817064605917,0.0909648241892711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23571801068964102,0.08531880894031423,0.06229000704765755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2086812010839804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809640979468167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158507101181421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298849763139095,0.0,0.0,0.11396141933978735,0.06749112305427506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995490018978236,0.09632934559142266,0.2299693006244992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119368388605543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894658412676936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23229255573718796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11256645374759544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486957228107564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06849132943009333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11790583871225555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261014208157597,0.0,0.1684718507974272,0.0,0.11526724242676226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241453709174507,0.0,0.09042902791479533,0.0,0.11431700421861055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0966883336721175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07511650191315998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2876763878542921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771502391688834,0.0,0.0,0.2269249816989765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519634664456388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272246577057552,0.0,0.0,0.10221097817618592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126028210758242,0.10230333526824394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630657538677652,0.0,0.15365828843552448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788606127186382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11916783815747632,0.0,0.0,0.09764054688391714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08825358528734034,0.0,0.0,0.2410814924181076,0.16221673574118026,0.08196530044740805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985010797634925,0.11081345810812583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,notThePieLady,2018/02/01,"trying to do what's fair My STBX and I have been separated for 4 years now and he is wanting to proceed with filing because he now has AP. I originally wanted the separation and have bent over backwards to try to make things ""fair"" but now that it comes down to making it all official I don't want to completely screw myself. We live in California and have been married 20 years. Two kids grown and away at college. I am self-employed and have been unable to find a ""real"" job so I have gone back to school with help of fin-aid. His income last year was $41,000 and mine (after write-offs) was $4500. He has been giving me $300 a month child/spousal support these past 4 years and I have been on his health insurance (and he is on my car insurance). I am most concerned over losing my health insurance. He did agree to split his 401k but was hesitant ""because I left him"". We do not want to fight and would like to keep this as affordable as possible- what would be a reasonable agreement, given our situation?",2.759004975124377,4.776462935323384,3.8525621890547264,87.33068407960201,76.36318407960201,7.252736318407961,24.101990049751247,8.167268648758528,1.3494796019900497,794,26,164,14,18,257,127,201,0.054000000000000006,0.82,0.126,0.9471,4,0,0,0,1,0,30.0,3,0,0,1,5,6,2,0,4,0,27,3,0,4,1,33,39,15,0,6,3,0,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,15,0,1,2,0,0,4,2,3,0,1,11,0,21,3,26,25,2,29,0,1,0,1,16,11,1,1,15,107,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13778991349956402,0.11277086325447346,0.0,0.17880257464433824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263327845728148,0.15376800533078933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404265274032864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068760982312534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3117809539169701,0.0,0.0,0.09830169094012614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553532420006346,0.13035626941620326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11954575292322678,0.0,0.0,0.15934422447472665,0.0,0.0,0.07164963612211203,0.0,0.12950160203969893,0.0,0.0,0.16407266308604396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19579055817273874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11706092703865635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14000154882369434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16533473301673252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16692878409158582,0.0,0.15078873474573948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14842561239123933,0.0,0.0,0.15299616212653488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648496108858105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642563337744815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974329841429117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914215821020495,0.0,0.14326344639414462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34601048857224503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20836311169182056,0.0,0.0,0.3777714861297653
divorce,invisiblemii3,2018/02/01,"Lost Don't know where to begin... I unexpectedly ended up in the hospital in ICU without insurance. There was nothing in this world that could have prevented what happened, I have a disease. During that time and after my spouse was rather vocal about how much this was going to cost them. It progressed to I'm ruining said person's life, I'm unhealthy said person is not, these are my large bills not theirs. There was some after care and it could have been much worse than it was. The yelling got progressively worse in every way, people could see the wear on my face. More personal attacks, louder, longer until I broke. I warned that person if it kept up I'd take my broken, indebt ass and leave.  Didn't believe me.  I left. There's children involved. Nott something they should be listening to especially after almost losing one of their parents. They went with me. That person kept almost everything we own and wants me to have nothing in the divorce.. Has not helped since I left. They kept house car some of our belongings are still there. I didn't  take much more than clothes.  No cheating as far as I know. Don't understand why that person is so hateful. It's been hard. First dealing with death staring me in the face then the person I trust seems to not care I almost died and only cares about what it costs. There's so much more but trying not to give too many details away. It feels like the divorce is taking forever. It feels like everything is broken and I'm struggling to have anything normal. I'm in so much emotional pain I'm numb. I often wonder why this happened to me and for the life of me I can't figure it out. At least I'm still here to cry about it. It will get better right???",2.4082185886402776,4.918246138554217,3.1082237521514635,89.673265060241,80.08433734939759,5.601514629948365,21.533907056798625,6.868970318607317,0.5772162478485381,1346,40,261,15,35,422,177,332,0.152,0.779,0.069,-0.975,2,0,1,0,3,0,41.0,2,0,6,6,19,17,3,1,9,0,30,8,4,1,0,45,67,17,2,8,9,2,3,2,0,2,4,4,0,8,22,11,0,4,8,0,3,3,12,10,0,2,17,9,30,7,41,44,12,34,0,4,2,1,27,19,1,9,13,178,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429312343620404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06654702775571676,0.0,0.0,0.09199840812316967,0.07597763898552186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09110993307132507,0.0,0.07152069516555168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24734928954667906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19369825541554106,0.0,0.08882910560422738,0.0,0.08337079853994102,0.0,0.0,0.08392765430050342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096500602787806,0.07162456524390441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06813432132974462,0.0,0.14535691415696836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177803333598753,0.11554345661160872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06878581864524029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04224990923530091,0.07757543464102107,0.04595884009403613,0.0,0.06467709371623108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302165245862658,0.0,0.07244135857173786,0.07983987294424287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05420375262764702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09331018930560186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08888528033480124,0.0,0.0,0.08562696190890144,0.17572545992790745,0.0,0.11423815454211005,0.07901551062004346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047000064619423,0.08827638339145796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08198690997902718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972344325795888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07923293926210517,0.1551890143265183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05479788255173377,0.06150334599859361,0.08604867711889669,0.0,0.08979374232762566,0.0,0.0,0.056063313362670036,0.4942724171612803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690603674620415,0.15384694244526384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06444089425104722,0.07361869678824409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668943970954598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06225572015929948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12916171318010586,0.0,0.0,0.08454022553234791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824067934916004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047154465203162285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05490369584759376,0.0,0.0,0.08418587594433974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04769772205791617,0.06418882425952742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496494394030667,0.14594060581836013,0.0,0.0,0.07795334395583509,0.08769730885772344,0.0,0.0,0.16482169723957724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,CapableView,2018/02/01,"Colorado Divorce Help, personal experience wanted I'm in the middle of my divorce in Colorado, and had some questions for those who are going through or have gone through divorce in Colorado (especially since the 2014 alimony law changes).

Facts: 
Married for 5.5 years, Wife lives in another state, I live in Colorado with my almost 3 year old son. I have a job earning 100k a year, wife just got a job as a waitress last month (she has not made her required disclosures yet so not sure her income). Separated a year ago, filed in November.

Issue:
We are currently pro-se, though I do have a lawyer who is assisting me with verifying that my paperwork is filled out properly, and will step in if this does go to a trial. We had our initial status conference last week, and despite my efforts to come to a settlement we were ordered to mediation. Mediation is scheduled for next week. If we fail to come to an agreement by the next status conference end of feb, we go to trial.

We have mostly come to an agreement for custody (which leaves me with primary household and parenting time), and I've offered her (what I consider) generous alimony, considering that she didn't have a job before we were married, that she never got one while we were married (even before our son was born) and that she has been living with no support from me for almost a year. I'm also assuming all marital debt, gave her half the tax return from last year, as well as not asking for child support. 

She insists on cleaning me out in alimony, asking for even more than the colorado statutory maintenance. I feel that, for the reasons above, I shouldn't pay her what she's asking (I even assumed the debt for the boat she bought and is keeping, and she kept 90% of the marital property). I made my financial statement, and it clearly shows I don't have the cash she is asking for due to debt, high rent in CO, and care for my son.

What are folk's experience with mediation in colorado, as well as the court's decisions with alimony if it does go to trial.",8.275614944095992,7.145732222797933,8.382380692664302,71.1497068448323,62.26424870466322,11.856885737660216,39.48677392964276,10.992663274268294,4.339261139896372,1602,74,292,36,19,525,191,386,0.04,0.884,0.076,0.9145,10,0,0,0,3,0,54.0,10,0,0,4,10,9,0,0,23,0,28,0,0,3,5,61,55,23,0,5,8,6,1,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,15,29,0,3,7,1,8,10,8,1,2,2,16,1,43,8,54,37,4,53,0,1,0,0,45,15,0,11,26,199,58,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08006415176209553,0.0,0.18088694820967632,0.0,0.0,0.0722297025703758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470948503991143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33775191755295325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537131041288667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208831924274297,0.0,0.09554768353520893,0.23341073359667866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808110047086724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07999763219726494,0.0,0.0,0.1789685840429176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670261554970906,0.0,0.0,0.04566903136061102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20532611254452324,0.0,0.14447597237288426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06054028881923396,0.09542913708772498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0942716989834072,0.26888908449720866,0.08028148981345175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2208711062811646,0.0,0.09563693938847996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23926539762613397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17092790268978375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209339193039965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0696611536952292,0.0,0.19211490012831156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477673720860567,0.0,0.06120387381947276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10029082547140082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07886484775294783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118023506093067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928650714437264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471449713763967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049904903005471,0.08512651072217384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08873996261851806,0.0,0.05266692441253374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053273689171345916,0.0,0.1449001794396797,0.0,0.16241892306988834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3489827284644146
divorce,throwawaymistake0913,2018/02/01,"I think I am headed for a divorce from my wife (I originally posted this in /r/relationship_advice; hope that is ok)

**TL;DR** - married with kids, cheated on my wife, not sure i want to try to repair things, looking for advice

---

My wife (39) and I (39) have been together for 16 years, married for the last 10.  We have two kids (6,4) and own a house together.  I work full time and my wife works part time; the days she is not working she is at home parenting the 4 year old.  

I've been harboring some doubts about the future of our relationship for longer than I'd like to admit.  I've had thoughts like, ""Once the kids are older, we'll just go our separate ways.""  

I've tried bringing up concerns about the relationship and what I'd like to see changed on a number of occasions in the last few years.  But nothing has really changed between us.  I've tried fighting about it, I've tried gently suggesting changes, I've tried just letting things go.  But the concerns have always been at the back of my mind and too easy to ignore when you are going through the routine of keeping your kids happy and healthy.  Our communication is so poor, I don't even know how she feels about our relationship.  Maybe she is happy, maybe she has doubts...but my gut says it is probably the closer to the former.

We aren't terrible to each other or the kids, in fact it might seem like we are perfectly normal to most.  We rarely fight at length and try to reach compromise, if possible.  But I feel like I am just not in it anymore.  Like I am just living with a roommate whom I occasionally have sex with.  I love my wife because she gave me my children and the life we built together, but I've lost the feeling of being *in love*.  Furthermore, I'm not sure I'm interested in trying to recapture that; the distance between where I am now and that outcome seems too great.

And here comes the bombshell...

All of this started to consume my thoughts after returning from an overseas business trip.  I met a woman there and the connection was immediate.  I tried to ignore the feelings and signals, but the feelings were stronger than anything I can ever recall (even when I met my wife).  We ended up chatting over instant messages one night and ultimtaely shared some moments of intimacy in person (but we did not sleep together).  We've continued to be in contact via messages since I've returned from the trip.  

And I haven't told my wife what happened.

I didn't think I would find myself in this position or that I was even capable of this, but I realize I've basically given up on my current relationship if I was able to somehow rationalize what I did.  It's a complete break of my wife's trust and the sanctity of my marriage.  Any way I look at it, I can only place the blame on myself, so I don't expect to get any sympathy.

I'm just trying to sort out my feelings and options and see what others have been through.  Like I said earlier, I'm not sure I want to try to preserve the relationship, nor am I sure my wife would be able to forgive me for what I've done.  I don't know what I expect to hear which is going to make this any easier, but I figured it is worth a shot.",4.678459653958047,5.550588620578778,5.571244832338081,81.49690246516616,69.54662379421222,8.624774154034604,30.565150819170114,8.841846274778883,2.3594321237176543,2470,98,493,42,42,811,277,622,0.054000000000000006,0.8290000000000001,0.117,0.9872,2,0,0,0,4,0,87.0,13,2,0,5,26,31,3,1,32,1,51,7,3,3,8,103,98,35,0,10,23,10,6,7,0,4,1,3,1,8,28,30,0,3,19,1,2,8,13,8,0,2,22,13,74,23,76,68,9,65,0,1,4,3,66,26,0,15,34,329,102,3,0.13191219438985313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445153483169949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054880756498963186,0.0,0.0,0.13455722347048574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0654107254853629,0.0,0.0,0.05427624816773293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050716167515986864,0.0,0.040206224667666025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20931841609752247,0.05681533758146341,0.06915371304161863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04253622627894589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06749598689824299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058417525307885375,0.0,0.0,0.13069014045144445,0.05966106597063781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000963070044204,0.047119049014706905,0.0,0.0,0.06028267794071436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034459338546827714,0.0,0.14993747997893234,0.0,0.0,0.07271683000288423,0.0,0.0,0.058324758926117534,0.1404229838252863,0.0,0.0,0.06768998405649608,0.0,0.07433731508181637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06615934321796668,0.06550928661029795,0.0,0.07610448072782508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058624809686459715,0.0,0.0,0.07249549223474888,0.1075260445137834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744457804411565,0.04658674200230333,0.2255597226280055,0.0,0.05824044219483707,0.0,0.11077302035237256,0.0,0.07199887138299893,0.0,0.11905590563276534,0.0,0.04402620703510173,0.0,0.13252352946861393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996899616820529,0.06659685619708056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189532922888129,0.06462297144562547,0.06328665410431031,0.0,0.06920982899631142,0.07024109093844888,0.04469355841649415,0.05016258401230915,0.0,0.0,0.07323644055710662,0.0714240258873544,0.0,0.0,0.05759032002534534,0.06891008352900366,0.0,0.0,0.0743555895015723,0.063167709163513,0.0,0.07111182821949609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225316476546155,0.0,0.0,0.3540608250351738,0.0,0.0,0.06273935222665697,0.05245093577330465,0.0,0.0,0.10511694019933172,0.12008790749698245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05455956517114538,0.0,0.06600372989952398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04668406506873825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486513641914809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08763660049713032,0.08452400778405897,0.0,0.10472354761044528,0.07691906135849018,0.0,0.0,0.06302387735620238,0.0,0.4477986052342857,0.0,0.0644295231636867,0.0,0.07933706396544389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07780522997824227,0.10470575989942144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440504728736986,0.0,0.0,0.09370663814879916,0.0,0.0,0.12742069241383014
divorce,tonya1973,2018/02/01,"Am I spinning my tires I am a 44 year old woman who has been divorced for almost three years. Me and my ex are back together, I guess when he isn't cheating, I have been faithful this whole time while living with my mom and dad two hours away taking care of them. The last time he cheated was in August, my mom passed away on June 7th. He made me feel like it was my fault for his looking at someone else, so needless to say we got back together. On November 17th 2017, he had an auto accident pretty bad, a lady just swerved over in his lane hit him head on, I quit my job to take care of him, still am actually, He is almost back on his feet from the surgeries but for the last two and 1/2 months I have been doing everything besides literally feeding him. He asked me to do this and also asked to marry him at the same time. I said yes quit my job and began doing everything foe him, as usual he was playing me, now he says we can go back to the way we were before the accident. It hurts and I want to know is he worth my time or am I just spinning my tires ",5.202070254110608,4.254399188340809,6.050325112107625,84.78367899850522,68.32735426008968,9.047683109118086,28.897234678624805,8.07648339933343,1.6380077727952167,821,23,185,9,12,272,130,223,0.087,0.8220000000000001,0.091,-0.4475,2,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,3,0,1,2,11,11,3,0,9,1,23,5,2,1,0,22,40,13,0,1,4,4,1,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,5,10,1,0,2,1,1,2,1,6,0,3,12,5,34,5,25,27,2,37,1,1,1,0,33,11,0,4,24,121,39,2,0.0,0.0,0.10480307794008653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508331322586247,0.0,0.0,0.08588460304027604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080166699332785,0.0,0.20180429701020736,0.3303238125971425,0.08967123738113122,0.0,0.0,0.09138615043675133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21899491376427088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971564059267483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19304133603447335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430268283077035,0.07672377803184423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06103566483784039,0.0,0.08589445265964697,0.0,0.11830888546761263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021935757041053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576350140069007,0.0,0.1149697203947001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21314806755023724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0590220746262525,0.17508427152981745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246829786530685,0.0,0.0948327025453854,0.0,0.0901856553045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162076367901228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251561972038128,0.08572252310933473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269411561930108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10926041870551492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22845789257938134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10215826156842196,0.1708113401260493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099634653748813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576664488716297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16149696683552295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504940618918099,0.2468719811316756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20982072165188895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182816047236555,0.0,0.06334498806102852,0.08524600611815593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990388332943988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383191034319791
divorce,XxxcatdogxxX,2018/02/01,Wife wants me gone She just told me she wants me gone.. we literally just purchased our home. Have 2 kids and she doesn’t work.. she is a student. We are in our 30’s.   I don’t know what to do,-2.9694767441860463,-1.6147504186046469,-0.32165697674418503,106.94216569767444,111.32558139534883,3.080232558139535,12.351744186046512,5.148860815047168,-1.6632767441860463,144,3,40,1,8,48,31,43,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,0,8,12,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,3,0,12,0,2,9,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,1,0,0,0,25,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4928183238896859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2700080233186504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4694623630314108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5795680725155081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576754198987377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sha256mem,2018/02/01,"To file or be served Which is better?  To be the divorcer or divorcee?

I had planned on filing the divorce.  My STBXH was on board with me being the divorcer and him being the divorcee and asked us to not use any lawyers (last request to NOT use lawyers was two days ago).  Today he dropped on me that he has gotten a lawyer and is filing and his lawyer will be in contact with me soon.

",2.1964285714285694,4.083356115384618,2.6736630036630054,95.74038461538464,77.58974358974359,4.457142857142856,25.24542124542125,3.1291,0.13411135531135532,299,11,64,0,7,92,50,78,0.0,0.958,0.042,0.504,0,0,0,0,5,0,7.0,1,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,5,0,12,0,0,2,0,12,16,6,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,8,1,10,6,0,10,0,0,0,0,11,4,0,2,5,47,10,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27663232426228995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21221914404444492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.291744482144606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760016508847151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126013228369125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2543797115530392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2958070452428456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048482549877032,0.0,0.3753832764564795,0.5390587060767735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,basically_alive,2018/02/01,"She moves out tomorrow We have been essentially on and off separated but living in the same house for most of two years, partially because she didn't have the resources to move out (and I didn't have the resources to support her), and because we have three kids. We've been married seven and a half years. 

She moves out tomorrow, our three kids are staying with me. She claims that it's because she needs to work etc, but the reality is that I've been doing everything for our kids for a long time, and she hardly has a relationship with them. She spent the vast majority of our marriage on instagram. 

Anyway, I've been killing it this month leading up to her moving out, taking care of the kids and myself, working out, cooking good healthy food, keeping the house far cleaner than she ever did in our marriage, but for some reason with her moving out tomorrow, I'm feeling a lot of feels. Like feeling fairly down. It's a bit alarming, as I had some serious depression issues around a decade ago, and really can't afford to have that kind of depression at this point. Anyways, I'm hoping it's just today, and just because I'm really, really tired. And getting a bit sick. Our kids wake up 6 or 7 times a night. I also work full time from home.

I guess I feel really angry and resentful that she's leaving, even though I am so fucking happy to not have to put up with her bullshit anymore. But essentially she is going to go and live the single life while I take care of our kids. She didn't arrange to have them at any time, she doesn't care to spend any time with them as far as I can tell. ",7.1379534700315475,6.002654599369084,7.3987046529968445,77.30575414037855,64.5205047318612,10.448659305993694,33.692626182965306,9.516144504307137,2.8798582018927448,1256,44,250,20,16,410,157,317,0.124,0.754,0.122,-0.604,1,0,0,0,0,0,36.0,8,0,3,4,10,16,3,1,16,0,25,7,1,2,1,49,47,23,1,2,8,0,5,1,0,0,3,0,1,6,10,25,2,1,5,1,2,9,6,7,0,5,10,5,37,9,48,37,11,50,0,2,0,1,37,23,1,7,18,176,47,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858935886462115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07089922132511133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058002631274678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08792423175138116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07892380517887593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21617870092690056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358164791609933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27117611848480183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272082787527666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09887633970651256,0.058557319213369076,0.08019561550514571,0.0,0.0,0.07967947643645143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17931120560739502,0.06333680225578364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072047750217872,0.0,0.0,0.08196225743701566,0.046319786944857666,0.0,0.10077198838618402,0.07436154798401733,0.0,0.0,0.09766602579000004,0.0,0.0,0.09437735846423033,0.07941953854507584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889305138026233,0.08805671631146154,0.0,0.20459727211951406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253520107474653,0.0,0.07880269351860868,0.09808618136830727,0.0923229487299507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387529356020187,0.0,0.0,0.06262128221263827,0.043313484969590664,0.0,0.15657206364383328,0.07845893228807248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537327725656769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076542154622922,0.4711434662153102,0.0,0.0657382743558622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319888261545096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08380981753837427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08912508706774226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2271845801128786,0.09115448381150353,0.0,0.0951847752902358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09449689962709856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10060726836858384,0.0,0.0,0.13331853195661114,0.0,0.07749039945521376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710536006904235,0.0,0.2584839614145535,0.10189853949150372,0.08403676647430114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660531257282296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363073971220995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418480589723327
divorce,jk037,2018/02/02,"Help? I don’t know what to do anymore Seriously I’m so depressed right now. I desperately need some advice. I’m 23F and married to my husband 25M. We met  on Valentine’s Day 2011. I got married when I was 17 (big mistake, I know) I was trying to get away from an abusive mother who was all for it. I think It was one of the best decisions I made at the time, we were happy. We’ve been happy. We support each other and help each other out a lot. We barely fight. But this past year I’ve been so depressed and wanting something more. He still loves me, and I love him, Im just not in love with him. he’s an amazing guy. Seriously, he doesn’t do anything wrong, i just don’t want to be married anymore. I feel horrible and guilty but I can’t help it, it’s how I feel. I really don’t have any friends and neither does he and I’ve been trying to change that but he’s happy with how things are. I get so sad because all of my coworkers go out and have fun and date or go out and socialize. but I’m always just stuck at home feeling lonely. Like right now he’s hanging out with his brother and I have no one. I talked to him about wanting a divorce last month, and he started crying and it just made me feel like an even bigger piece of shit so I dropped it. We have sex but I don’t want to, I just do it to make him happy. It feels like we’re just friends most of the time. There’s no passion. Sometimes it feels like it’s all me just being depressive because the want for a divorce is always there but sometimes I’m able to ignore it and pretend to be happy and it works. But eventually I feel bad again and it feels like it’s getting worse. I should also mention that we don’t have kids. I want so badly to go out and socialize and meet someone new. And even just the thought of living alone and being free to do whatever I want makes me feel better. If I got a divorce I would never get married again. I seriously don’t even want counseling. I just want to be out of this but I’m so scared of hurting him. I feel like his feelings are more important than mine because I can handle being miserable, I don’t know how he would handle losing me. I really need some advice I don’t know what to do ",0.7141370967741949,2.74241335053764,2.703393817204301,92.93509072580649,83.23655913978493,5.337365591397849,21.945564516129032,6.528864054313183,0.3697822580645158,1708,57,380,17,48,572,187,465,0.173,0.636,0.191,0.7464,0,3,1,0,4,0,44.0,6,0,0,4,31,42,2,2,12,0,41,6,1,7,4,106,94,41,0,16,20,3,11,6,2,3,0,0,1,2,24,37,0,1,18,1,1,4,15,19,0,2,15,11,54,24,40,70,14,37,0,8,0,5,45,15,1,6,23,251,78,1,0.06664355949282039,0.07896172036349841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024663006562334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06902262898862001,0.0,0.053294830448753584,0.1109055604045346,0.0,0.0,0.04531990576014972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218500671648714,0.0,0.0,0.05484197106331559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626138179153325,0.0,0.11128917694633066,0.1218758859110032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06993830410683442,0.058940812639982236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705000493227648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07320482076239307,0.04297958258875047,0.0,0.1722000004122056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058320228015189365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132052327543887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37066684703930974,0.2380508610884185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297729749531187,0.0,0.139274036894069,0.0,0.11362521198360305,0.0,0.10660188506285874,0.0,0.0,0.0659876015833899,0.0,0.3547165415603031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340093194262835,0.0,0.06684892395500379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134330879194638,0.0,0.07198648034447208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465022296704184,0.05432339578404579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19535206123185272,0.0,0.058847483998770475,0.0,0.0,0.07455709631014289,0.0,0.056657971084555676,0.18044524314165586,0.1261194947319258,0.08897018691435618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053194253370524434,0.0,0.0,0.09883070985290036,0.05139962152598532,0.06436476504047046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903188013224222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06361881841183584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08538714143394106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11382647134529195,0.0,0.0,0.06672182911526622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06840865612569665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13586943256317094,0.05646687169174192,0.051305468007305136,0.1318243688196063,0.0,0.04717065442153652,0.0,0.05322163269796163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07562632155054218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356556870716251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04427501965222625,0.042702501974008884,0.0,0.052907542079466484,0.07772079094714465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09049320459497613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537728825755758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04851730503173601,0.0,0.0679154806417552,0.09468334513313284,0.07286427042416116,0.0,0.04291626731845021
divorce,girare37,2018/02/02,"Finally separated We’ve been in the same house and things have teetered back and forth about counseling and no hope. There have been good moments and a lot of bad ones.

Today she finally moved out. I was able to secure a temporary separation agreement. I have all the kids right now and will have them the majority of each week.

My kids are doing well considering their mother has left. They are of course sad but handling it very well.

I am relieved and I will probably sleep like a baby now that the stress is starting to slowly fade...for now. 

I’m ready to move forward with my life and being able to start healing myself and being there to my kids without the interference.

Happy friday!",4.930763358778627,6.671906694656492,5.282358778625955,80.5232328244275,69.83969465648855,8.293435114503817,27.603816793893127,8.841846274778883,2.1274574045801526,551,19,102,10,10,175,91,131,0.095,0.748,0.157,0.7839,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,0,3,0,9,12,0,1,8,0,17,3,1,0,1,18,21,9,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,3,11,0,2,0,0,0,3,2,3,2,1,3,0,12,9,13,14,5,18,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,2,13,76,15,0,0.3385557408433789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13016423345492156,0.1413399510607395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3708712656200463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14198224637554904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801994407730986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16813112057649668,0.0,0.19532393478469331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18392090151352974,0.0,0.1195659660202149,0.08270061693252859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14391399199858898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598311735672313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470706594345705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825101750216241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456237642155265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694001208752426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23963149590577865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19390722863782187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246069532667644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045562801789998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396719713106407,0.0,0.0,0.1357844969685391,0.0,0.30440226992813985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317782639161574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,elton_johns_glasses,2018/02/02,How long did it take you to get back into a relationship post-divorce? It's been a few years now and I'm still struggling. I think I've advanced/grown in a few areas but having a serious relationship with someone else is not one of them. I'm way too comfortable by myself now and find it hard to let someone into my world. I don't want to be alone forever!,1.6367428571428595,3.5459562933333366,3.8499047619047637,86.54400000000004,79.4,6.9523809523809526,24.04761904761905,7.957251820313856,1.3197619047619047,282,10,60,5,7,97,57,75,0.131,0.805,0.064,-0.1593,0,1,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,1,1,0,6,3,0,1,4,0,7,0,0,1,0,11,13,4,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,1,6,1,9,9,2,12,0,0,0,0,4,5,0,0,6,42,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372354732184282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17613180869436976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134894237895494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093552730555059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967358579985712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20519137904442272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342277837495135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2027095197160491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15521593342799753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.219374676971448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4918461039597147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3881609617959726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829263736192952,0.0,0.0,0.2394616252886881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17222344731220487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677140543408046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13510460818662426,0.18181593538185015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750613147087918
divorce,Anonscared275,2018/02/02,"On the brink.. and having trouble focusing at work - help Hi all...

So my wife and I are close to calling it quits. There are a multitude of issues in our marriage, including emotional and verbal abuse by my spouse. While I feel like it’s for the best, I’m feeling broken down and can’t seem to focus on much else. I know for many “diving into work” allows for a distraction, but I’ve never been built that way. I don’t want my career to suffer, and know that if I compromise my job, I’ll make it that much harder to date in the future. But I just.. can’t.. focus..

Anyone else feel the same way? Any good advise on how to stay focused??",2.123475524475527,3.7224833615384663,3.8144755244755264,88.76416083916084,76.92307692307692,6.573426573426572,20.27972027972028,7.348242739294969,0.500692307692308,487,11,103,6,11,163,86,130,0.098,0.758,0.14400000000000002,0.4749,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,1,0,0,4,4,6,0,1,6,0,7,0,0,3,2,24,16,11,0,2,4,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,6,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,1,3,11,3,18,15,5,17,0,1,0,0,8,10,0,2,5,67,17,5,0.0,0.21849870808846653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540685301306226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12894553786823215,0.18895244316582935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19352958652488725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883058249576229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081060327455302,0.2074392896211744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27973356814765143,0.13174435756394906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467649167148378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12360784032087035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19247878300534346,0.18300099360167174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269662165227934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009465347065906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230968044369172,0.18696537390512932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2711288757629121,0.0,0.14223032183143214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961454392652046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678822530931263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19655923396448785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10877129582347322,0.2927561858663328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685090552882351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bakedcherrys,2018/02/02,"Soon to be ex-wife is stalking me I filed for divorce back in November 2017 as i am no long happy in my marriage and all attempts to try and work it out have been unsuccessful for the past 2-3 years. 

Some background:
I should have seen her red flags long ago, but i allowed myself to get sucked into her downward spiral an manipulative ways. Always making the issues in our marriage my fault. I'm sure you all know the story...

She has not played along at all during the waiting period to get a court date. She will not work on property division with me at all. I tried to serve her myself out of some form of decency and she refused to sign, so i had her served.

She did not return the paperwork to the court until the day after it was due. My lawyer has not been able to tell me as of yet if the court will accept this.

On to the problem at hand:

As we are still living in the same house unfortunately, i have taken to spending as much time away from the home as possible. This means that I have gotten back into the gym to find any remaining sanity I have left. 

Last night, as i was leaving the gym, i say a car that look suspiciously like hers, but i couldn't read the license plate at that distance. I sat in my truck for a good 15 minutes to see if anyone entered or exited the vehicle as it was parked in a far away spot from the gym with no other businesses that would have been open at that time.

After waiting the 15 minutes, i decided to just go ahead and drive past the suspicious car. sure enough, she was sitting in it with the lights off and a notebook in hand with what looked like times and dates. 

I suspect she is following me trying to, find out if I'm cheating or whatever crazy situation she has in her mind... I guess to see if I'm going to the gym with anyone or leaving with anyone.

Knowing her, i highly doubt this is the only place she would have posted up to play PI...

my question is, is this even legal? i know its a community parking lot and it is in public... It just seems really unreasonable and I'm considering getting a restraining order against her as part of my final settlement...

has anyone else experienced this type of situation or can offer any advice on this?",6.5791492094861646,5.677550165909089,7.237687747035576,77.24533596837945,65.52272727272728,10.288537549407117,31.40316205533597,9.54385415503706,2.604449604743084,1723,54,348,29,23,573,227,440,0.102,0.8220000000000001,0.076,-0.898,1,0,0,0,1,0,47.0,2,1,0,4,9,14,2,1,29,0,36,2,2,3,6,75,64,28,0,9,16,0,2,2,0,5,0,1,1,0,20,22,0,4,11,7,1,7,7,5,0,0,13,11,49,9,74,44,12,72,0,0,6,0,28,34,1,15,29,253,69,6,0.10063447419719823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09833884348586652,0.08920638943909537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08373594419171393,0.0,0.0,0.136869786714516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814638569070099,0.10311191124698756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18909880238517046,0.1547633977245383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06490091057486091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406719005807439,0.0,0.0,0.1039823131363296,0.0,0.06646812110091904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11024014750879303,0.1839561725380402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15773207769986114,0.0,0.1143857816172714,0.08440742238632085,0.0,0.0,0.11086021895915454,0.0,0.0,0.10712726907336144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063258472053736,0.10094458285327687,0.0,0.0,0.11611867178042487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503624540465484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591822559974495,0.08203052797506546,0.0,0.21311475540769806,0.10933965066775338,0.0,0.0,0.09832984169822782,0.0,0.08886208442516187,0.17811668576459627,0.1690152257713338,0.0,0.0,0.08555583123960506,0.0,0.0,0.06717429296612862,0.0,0.0,0.1096204444077848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10161213127533486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07397791768594779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09443863686782956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07653705239005286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089773287976456,0.1921339852986651,0.0,0.0,0.10514160658007704,0.0,0.0,0.11345024904974248,0.0963800083428928,0.0,0.0,0.09629360082411163,0.0,0.0,0.11273364238222908,0.0,0.10066170731511903,0.0,0.0644690210637097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002857305364555,0.0,0.0,0.16038529349174074,0.0916138457426056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22623473083366696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036682108873226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18969360194155416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795896609235157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17604231355617064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20497260647855972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987896146853031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465261915327267,0.0,0.0,0.14297568625114002,0.0,0.0,0.06480530195215513
divorce,warntheidiotmasses,2018/02/02,"American man gets Asian dweller pregnant If a young Asian girl gets pregnant by a tourist from the US, is he liable for child support if she and the baby will be living in Asia? The man lives in the US.  He pretty much dumped her.  And in actuality the pregnancy was the result of what sounds to me to be forced entry, more or less a rape. Now he's MIA.  Is she due child support?",2.9703030303030324,4.344033844155845,3.9734415584415568,89.4325432900433,74.1948051948052,6.691774891774893,24.52164502164502,7.1686216300943375,0.8226813852813852,294,9,64,3,6,95,53,77,0.154,0.7340000000000001,0.112,-0.6969,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,9,0,6,1,0,1,0,6,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,6,2,9,6,3,6,0,0,0,1,13,3,0,3,3,40,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.23210282593665155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485288365140857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42004373697072106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748437547865978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419743049824292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5398083411366035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5721975241335718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sapperdanman,2018/02/02,"Out of state visitation So the states in question are Kansas and Oklahoma. My soon to be ex lives in OK, while I live in KS. We’ve agreed on everything EXCEPT visitation. I’m placing emphasis on visitation because we went through HELL coming to terms with everything else, and now it may be all for nothing because of this. 

Being out of state, she’s now limiting me to only visiting the kids in OK, as often as I want. Which sounds great, but in keeping to those terms, I would be SEVERELY limited to the number of times I could see them monthly. (Maybe 1-2 times a month in OK, vs 4-5 times between KS and OK.) 

So my question is-and maybe this is more of a rant than a question- can she do that? If we were to fight this out in court, is it reasonable to only allow me to see them in her state? As far as custody goes, she’ll be the kids’ primary caretaker, while I’ll be working to support them and visit them as often as time allows. If there is any relevant info or details I left out, please let me know. ",3.8525797503467416,4.566095339805827,5.385464632454924,82.65922330097091,71.33009708737866,8.798335644937586,29.277392510402212,9.04235418022936,2.279743134535368,784,30,164,15,14,266,119,206,0.081,0.809,0.11,0.298,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,2,0,4,3,8,8,2,0,7,4,18,0,0,3,1,36,27,18,0,5,6,1,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,2,8,12,0,3,6,0,0,7,0,2,0,0,2,3,20,6,40,14,4,41,1,0,2,0,22,17,1,9,13,112,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09415570081507717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16880455005269462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11926869005738487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054687465864027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566329407646833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488729576155161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15264964407074386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306719547590585,0.0,0.0,0.07609250214791304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15043424385502,0.14158195334597784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445206363151965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27819790279059553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22103056577141308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13285349791881834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106060067482056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14465839233050184,0.15198451955501432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.465311535528651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14235714766636146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206650579597213,0.0,0.0,0.15641732027626373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15711968474389315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229422222658361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166569322775734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12835128912931096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007985515481549,0.0,0.0,0.09835608180329652,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ccgg2214,2018/02/02,"Letting kids go to sleepovers How do you guys handle this when your kids want to have sleepovers with friends?  Do you feel like your limited amount of time with them trumps things like this?

I personally let my kids have and go to sleepovers whenever they want.  It's that often, and they have so much fun, so why not.  I have majority custody, so maybe it's different for me.  Ex just told my daughter she's not allowed to have sleepovers on his weekends anymore because he only gets 4 nights a month.  I'm rolling my eyes because he's not even going to be home that night, he'll be at hockey with my son until 11pm.  So it's really stupid in my opinion, but obviously not something I'm willing to even address with him.

TLDR;  Dad gets EOW, chooses not to spend one of his nights with daughter, and leaves her with sitter, but refuses to let her go to a sleepover from 7pm to 9am - which is basically the amount of time he wouldn't be seeing her anyway due to his absense and sleep.",5.2836125211505935,5.4984717055837615,5.727220812182742,83.24111886632828,67.98477157360406,8.394077834179358,31.645093062605753,8.07648339933343,2.1063641285956005,774,30,158,9,12,249,117,197,0.021,0.923,0.056,0.5529999999999999,2,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,0,4,3,1,11,5,1,0,3,0,16,2,2,2,1,30,30,13,0,3,8,5,1,2,1,3,0,0,2,5,9,10,0,2,2,2,1,4,6,1,0,1,1,3,23,4,26,20,4,17,0,0,2,0,32,3,0,2,12,101,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464219566589185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18000332642771552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15425527218933044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19503331641649965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465262150411678,0.10547602555157004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406843911617735,0.0,0.1542745088900649,0.0,0.3356351581811368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14618955627535588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14809773799881415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15633237722090432,0.0,0.4529242112808112,0.0,0.14426160098611265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14832700863776885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784705171938345,0.0,0.108534425141722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4156582187321294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004656308019608,0.1122889808613004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128915973338521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09458374011422616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765217361355247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14774939747209634,0.0,0.0,0.1136626187725446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09808729703355147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17218337489618285,0.0,0.0,0.14107899538267382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416706399718312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13322463703031015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,divorcethrowaway9999,2018/02/02,"Two parents can't get along and the whole family suffers. I am realizing how cruel and unfair it is to the kids.  Divorce is a relief for the parent(s) and maybe even for some kids.  But kids that are young and don't necessarily want it, are forced into a two household system because their parent's couldn't stay married.  I'm not an advocate of ""stay married for the kids,"" but I certainly think it's a raw deal for the kids.  They suffer consequences for something they had no control over.  I guess it's the first example of the lesson, ""life is not fair.""",5.325347313237219,5.980330211009175,6.180104849279162,78.48871559633028,67.99082568807339,9.164351245085193,30.250327653997374,9.23628265651192,2.532579554390564,439,16,84,8,7,145,70,109,0.157,0.7959999999999999,0.047,-0.8753,3,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,3,3,2,5,1,0,11,0,10,1,0,2,1,20,15,7,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,5,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,6,3,0,3,1,0,6,2,11,13,2,7,0,2,0,0,12,2,0,2,2,59,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11168519915662853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054894273676364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18888498920100288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12101073473718113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271730502092333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584123985287124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09572144910942593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201830235715608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940905547816894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840625040523193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6103104569070091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104664026165456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39056225277642576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739576049365795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.357945775092376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10806402089942492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20455123839555134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nuggetchicken,2018/02/03,"Not sure how and where to tell him. First I would like to state that this is a question I am (28 /female)  asking to help my best friend who is 29/female and been married for 4 1/2 years. I'll go into more details if anybody would like then, but she has been having issues with her husband and they have been doing a trial separation for about 3 months now and she has decided that she wants to end the marriage. She has decided that she's going to get everything in order living in my spare room before she tell him ( He has been staying with his brother and she has been in their house alone for the trial). So she wants a third party there in case he goes psycho when she breaks it to him (he has potential to be a loose cannon). And also somewhere public for everyone's safety. I don't really want to bash him on the internet, but to put it vaguely he is very manipulative and emotionally abusive. He has never been violent towards a human that any of us know have, but he has been to objects/material items.

So I guess my question is... What would be the ideal location for a conversation like this? Is having a third party there a good idea? If so how involved should the third party be, observing from a distance or more directly involved?",5.576666666666667,5.907133877551023,6.433061224489798,78.0321768707483,67.36734693877551,9.145578231292516,29.802721088435373,9.029198982220553,2.370708843537414,980,33,187,16,15,325,139,245,0.055,0.789,0.156,0.9787,0,1,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,2,3,12,9,1,0,14,0,34,0,0,3,2,37,43,21,0,10,7,2,0,3,1,4,0,0,1,1,10,10,0,0,6,0,0,3,3,1,0,4,7,0,25,8,27,29,4,24,0,0,0,0,40,9,0,6,11,145,35,0,0.0,0.17624743049035732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540627654632138,0.0,0.1189573489758236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10115682514921392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906354066892854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12657745165293138,0.0,0.15610660880915805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16732658100511158,0.13175059444911288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213942241484892,0.13368918737764404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265288307903628,0.0,0.0,0.1149258400072789,0.0,0.07771706031605813,0.0,0.16907898796904186,0.12476656934431166,0.0,0.0,0.1638676884716065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970568904322842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171640454183679,0.0,0.16792350647056914,0.0,0.15525900004345844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175050335040422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21801892533882192,0.0,0.1313512142068303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11873285473326513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147271257569952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14953738400315825,0.3332737669761769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09529468333117556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585504107940425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019750438824405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26003254529411746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17893098490913972,0.0,0.0,0.12273642049508232,0.2632142986250308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3170086001126545,0.0,0.0,0.0957917558823946
divorce,queenofbrooklyn,2018/02/03,"My court appointed attorney NYC - child custody case My ex sued me for full custody in attempt to have my sign documents that release him from financial responsibilities and other terms in his best interest.  Ive been appointed an attorney at no cost through the courts. She has many currant cases with my ex's lawyer and I believe she has a bigger interest in maintaining a good working relationship with him then fighting for my best. 

Where can I find out my rights? I feel like everything is going above my head. I'm completely uneducated on what can happen in court. Does anyone have advice for me? 
I know that I can hire someone who will fight for what's right, but I don't have the Finances for that. Any advice is appreciated .
Thank you.  ",4.590947242206237,6.89864698561151,5.566348920863309,75.78583033573143,71.94964028776978,8.949880095923263,30.288369304556355,9.516144504307137,3.0822369304556365,597,26,106,15,12,196,94,139,0.036000000000000004,0.815,0.149,0.9414,0,0,0,0,3,0,12.0,0,1,0,4,1,9,2,0,5,0,14,1,1,0,0,10,20,4,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,5,0,0,3,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,22,7,17,18,4,15,0,0,0,0,13,12,0,0,3,73,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884312538527951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515641679202026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389702112832283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22392252939996374,0.4171504958380632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20838497900379652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17392695136532316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862315768754394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049367536914686,0.14198662093095807,0.0,0.0,0.1816533635642706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11295387204475932,0.1667015786936382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17575345024360267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20397423776639625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922748007844672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709892436216944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20150071063951766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2133824905298089,0.0,0.3394618268742491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839973334678415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829817574014564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446919403407257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,dublinclontarf,2018/02/03,"13 year old son doesn't want to stay with me after separation I'm not sure if this is the right place but I'm sure someone else who's here has gone through this and has advice.

I'm separated and in the process of a relatively contentious divorce (wife initially was fine, then had me arrested on accusation of assault, then accused me of sexually abusing my daughter, now is attempting to make historic accusations of assault etc.).

It's been three months since I've been chucked out of the family home, I've gotten myself my own place of a size big enough to have my children over. At the moment the court has given me about 12 hours a week with my kids, 1/2 of which I spend taking my kids to church or church activities.

My son (who is 13) is fine with me taking him and his little sister somewhere to do something (the zoo, church, bowling, swimming etc.) but he REALLY doesn't want to just spend any time with me.

Today he said he was sick and had a headache (an excuse) rather than come and spend an afternoon at my place (I've got Amazon TV, and I cook a mean dinner).


Two weeks ago I brought him bowling one evening, and with over 2 hours of our time together left I though we could go back to my place and just watch TV or something. When he realised I wasn't bringing him back to his mothers after the bowling he started to panic and freak out, of course I turned around and went straight back.

He saw us fight and argue (the last big fight before I had to leave), and since then doesn't want to be around me unless I'm doing something or taking him somewhere to do something.


Out of everything that I'm going through with this divorce, the false accusations, the eye watering legal expenses, THIS is the thing which hurts the most. That my 13 year old son wouldn't want to spend any time around me unless I'm taking him somewhere.

Any suggestions (even if it is just another subreddit to go to).",9.9728,6.613506813333334,9.138133333333332,74.07440000000003,60.86666666666667,12.240000000000002,39.13333333333333,9.888512548439397,3.579533333333332,1505,53,303,21,15,476,183,375,0.172,0.802,0.027000000000000003,-0.9955,0,0,4,0,4,0,44.0,3,0,0,1,17,12,5,1,19,0,27,5,1,1,2,51,58,26,0,9,14,7,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,13,26,3,0,1,4,5,9,6,8,0,3,16,4,35,4,51,39,5,61,3,1,3,0,36,22,0,6,29,189,48,1,0.0,0.1074931510918909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865448105994997,0.08042138673403695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508637305215095,0.09513206542684108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422908883788907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928355814427774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771994751781614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815072647506875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724357629815871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0757882932580748,0.0,0.0,0.09374218450961773,0.20236257094503765,0.11984474444381278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153691647109397,0.0,0.08552654988093661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546816865612227,0.0,0.07256030190952753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09100360845667853,0.0,0.1786898071998111,0.0,0.0971219603127242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395220068607315,0.0,0.09606365794612516,0.09857193399492292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092932129178816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06055900061847984,0.0,0.0,0.09882507530129736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724150624942738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903992353304856,0.0,0.06147695688680575,0.0,0.0,0.10644511236006207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37914924515075576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05812014260334075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07747783372911657,0.08629933683062654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500957254077815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687018396388329,0.27937519086267715,0.0,0.0,0.06421494186671171,0.09669975451981314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101266645400615,0.0,0.27285274678893706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06027302033395484,0.0,0.08913590783692625,0.0,0.1587057504409066,0.0,0.0859957810337877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868170253503432,0.08862420353420862,0.0,0.1091298485450051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21404555548547044,0.0,0.1455467036380532,0.0,0.0,0.08410209322028317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11684661342041106
divorce,RevolutionaryTurn,2018/02/03,"Not Sure Anymore I've been with my husband for eight years, married for half of that time.  I suspect it's the same story a lot of people have, good in the beginning, connected well, got along great.

About a year ago we moved for his work, I gave up my job and have been struggling to find another job since.  I do the housekeeping, the cooking, I'm actively searching for work but there is a language barrier for me.

He works full-time and he's been disconnected since we moved, just sort of emotionally not there.  He comes home from work and just wants to be left alone, he says he just needs time after, so I try to be quiet and stay out of the way, and then he's in bed about two hours later.  He'll eat dinner in silence, then go to bed - most of the time he doesn't even sleep, he just lays there for hours before he does.  He tells me not to come in.  If he's in the bedroom, he wants to be left alone.  

For a time I thought maybe I just needed to try harder.  I was getting up when he did to make him breakfast until he clarified he didn't want me up in the morning when he was up, because he wants to be left alone in the morning.  

He would often say I don't touch him enough.  I made a conscious effort to change that and two weeks later he told me he just wanted to be left alone, that I touch him too much, that he didn't want to say it because I'm 'so sensitive'.  

He told me to tell him if I ever feel our relationship is taking a bad turn.  The other day I did, and he got upset and said everything is always his fault.

He doesn't go out.  He doesn't maintain friendships.  He has no hobbies and he sleeps all the time.  I know this is depression and I want to help, but it's been going on for so long - I offer to help him exercise, I make healthy meals (and he eats things that make him feel ill anyways), I research things that could help him and I try to be thoughtful.  I swear I'm trying, but when I try to talk to him he just tells me he's so tired of people talking to him at work, he just doesn't have the energy and he wants to be left alone.  When I tried to get things sorted the other day, all I got was an outline of the ways I can leave him alone.  

I've asked him if we're okay and he always says yes, that nothing is wrong - I'm starting to feel crazy.  I don't know what to do. ",3.476667326340788,3.5703433149284263,4.437191107592849,91.34566594102516,71.88343558282209,7.536671284385514,24.56764958110693,7.1029339738359605,0.6812386173230429,1767,43,421,15,31,575,202,489,0.13,0.8009999999999999,0.069,-0.9757,2,6,0,0,0,0,54.0,3,0,0,6,27,11,0,2,21,2,38,11,2,4,4,76,83,31,0,15,17,1,5,0,0,2,3,6,4,0,17,22,6,1,10,2,0,7,12,6,1,4,21,11,48,5,60,52,7,57,0,1,0,0,70,20,0,8,27,246,65,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513098206890375,0.0,0.0,0.3864836365742093,0.0,0.0,0.10350031801047008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521554037074588,0.0,0.0,0.06167946035108425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05814273460886525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051929160102768566,0.07582543143665403,0.0,0.05292227670546601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06579271136672095,0.1071487691257457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04965662633115328,0.0,0.0,0.08021961116588079,0.0,0.053567361693609115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054426145307755226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1272794087338715,0.0,0.06995956629315668,0.0,0.06426274033785463,0.0,0.04107836687046227,0.056257782278577965,0.0,0.0,0.05589570713058925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943410437867662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05684393524626943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06498730567051306,0.0,0.10603837653778403,0.05216514331901908,0.1492260031545317,0.06856879815563398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12506142276722046,0.0,0.06238537421174899,0.0,0.12249657655379925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343534503005613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06836008629695024,0.0,0.0,0.06585417161750648,0.3378683050780606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05503948691794571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05287487844333333,0.0,0.058849203612790224,0.12454437729044175,0.0,0.06248195323314545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220416790798126,0.04571954182971789,0.09223171373612617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059676553709117376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08623459193984344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06677278216250936,0.0,0.0,0.05916047191653205,0.19783577628294285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10289457919249337,0.0,0.12447727528331287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044021036597110035,0.06629023259857436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06501838202216054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861684702734026,0.0,0.04676193889947402,0.09997791590215567,0.16308016318990895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12395623620340672,0.0,0.0,0.09874973644970124,0.18132829746572907,0.07148253446412248,0.0,0.1188575334004924,0.0,0.2533527287325337,0.06764891024547963,0.1215084587405515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29346774932951114,0.0987329634142596,0.04988805238458717,0.0,0.055919625315108135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22638885198718764,0.0,0.0,0.04418063574012498,0.06799907175973495,0.0,0.08010143583567927
divorce,username6521053,2018/02/03,"Divorce decree final last week So after 2.5 years the judge finally signed the divorce decree. I’m happy that it’s over but not celebrating getting divorced. You see our marriage really ended over 10 years ago, I was just too scared to end it. Scared to admit to a failed marriage and scared to be alone. So I stayed. And I did engage in unhealthy behaviors and I was unfaithful. All wrong on my part. I’m happy to move on and start to live my life in a more healthy way. 

I was very generous from the beginning. I offered a collaborative process. She sued me. We tried mediation which was useless. Her demands were not rational. A year and $50,000 of legal fees later she offered to sit down and hash it out together, which went well. It still took the lawyers another 6 months to write it up in a way she agreed.  In the end she got less than what I offered in mediation. And it’s still generous. 

Our kids are doing ok. They were pretty insulated from the legal and money battle. Their future is what really matters. 

So after 15 years of marriage and 18 years together I am thrilled to be pursuing a new healthy relationship. She is still pretty traumatized and not healthy.  I am not in favor of divorce. I suggest that everyone face your fears, build honestly and transparency no matter what offenses were committed and with professional help try to make it work. But if one party refuses to engage or if it can’t be repaired do it sooner rather than later. Your kids will be better off. 

Good luck everyone. ",3.0138908246225284,5.65021724738676,4.3403031358885045,80.98406678281074,78.61672473867596,7.729105691056909,26.639837398373984,8.648137234880735,2.3656964924506383,1198,49,216,28,30,394,166,287,0.149,0.606,0.245,0.9864,0,1,0,0,4,0,33.0,3,3,2,3,10,21,2,4,12,1,21,2,1,1,2,36,32,20,0,3,11,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,16,15,0,1,1,0,2,3,6,9,1,1,11,1,27,12,35,16,4,46,0,2,1,0,32,14,0,4,25,148,43,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005717445583816,0.0,0.0,0.1169048062083051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11835963110455852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09982906157592457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2999221323645564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157144405659262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270161337034724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24729882558144475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05897270406649501,0.0,0.0,0.09467447612417763,0.0902767171963865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24031578719972785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565795810829656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09200846374249214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972718761825756,0.0,0.0,0.09967098926146166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07534516297006262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009601594140858,0.11996861833175065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10901570244361293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648724860440352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223298877802714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22966959133719425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446216605812249,0.0,0.0,0.12118586796414615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390237064370531,0.0,0.08994702841330827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798937434674916,0.1203100891535694,0.2704271663284783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540865101675236,0.15326988701181465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09313397308906993,0.0,0.1791903748882175,0.0905417856418368,0.0,0.10148848244106994,0.10463656690318583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08217458861816854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234114599554085,0.0,0.3634400766504001
divorce,rawranator,2018/02/03,"In the early stage of a divorce. Trying to file my taxes as ""married but filing separately"" but my return is horrible. Some context

I live in Utah. I asked my wife for a divorce about 4 weeks ago, and we were trying to be civil about the whole thing until her friends got involved and complicated things. She moved out, I lawyered up, and I'm in the early stages of a divorce. I haven't seen or spoken to her in over 2 weeks.

Now, I was trying to fill out my taxes and selected ""married but filing separately"" but I guess since my deduction was set to something a married couple would be comfortable with, I'll end up owing way more than I can afford. If I were to file jointly, the amount increases to a reasonable return. 

I'm sure the same thing would happen to her if she tried to file ""single"" or ""married but filing separately"". I was thinking of reaching out and asking if we can file jointly, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not.

I plan to ask my lawyer on monday what my next steps should be, but I figure I can ask here first.",5.531998420221171,5.199913317535547,6.478874407582942,79.93009676145344,67.4834123222749,8.929067930489731,29.90560821484992,8.344100000000001,2.0385826224328603,814,26,164,10,12,272,113,211,0.024,0.888,0.08800000000000001,0.9161,1,0,1,0,3,0,27.0,2,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,11,0,17,0,0,1,1,38,30,21,0,7,15,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,5,11,0,0,5,0,3,4,3,0,0,1,7,1,27,4,31,17,7,32,0,0,1,0,17,11,0,9,13,119,32,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12861375000204242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5425591819912516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16053959899578138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850689405599072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341369024855288,0.0,0.0,0.112096365165285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12169481568943945,0.1160419250258337,0.0,0.15983326503892384,0.0,0.12830282653462674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16378922877542432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07973780548771592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811734655757026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15420797129365596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543051240347226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491769389885638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002015190196524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169756085285787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367458410238367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28917453990451075,0.09296797199339447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3940270158174273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11516588492521013,0.23276528937797225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16198807965811607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20613589770303625,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,matin89,2018/02/03,"I don't know how to feel. I am about to sign my divorce papers tomorrow and honestly have been putting it off for awhile. I know I am supposed to do it but then its done. She's gone. -poof- 
I wasn't the one who wanted it she did. A relative of hers called me up to see how I was doing and if i had signed them yet. I got a lil angry and told him somethings. He felt as if I didn't fight for her or try to keep us together. 
IF you have any advice or anything please DM me or something, just feeling quite lost at the moment. Honestly, don't know why I posted something. ",0.5054878048780509,2.298441764227644,2.509939024390245,95.32393292682929,82.57723577235772,5.726016260162603,20.819105691056908,6.816661863887847,0.2313203252032521,439,13,104,5,12,147,83,123,0.065,0.823,0.112,0.5627,0,0,3,0,2,0,14.0,1,1,1,2,5,4,1,0,4,0,15,0,0,2,0,23,28,14,0,4,8,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,6,0,0,2,4,2,0,1,12,4,21,2,13,16,0,10,0,1,1,0,14,3,0,6,4,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19111427216717256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13299815587815167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.160942104662484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1997046162849592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014180335575707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19777786092215008,0.0,0.18778330466930104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564197220701376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17383663342422412,0.0,0.0,0.3224498051913874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21349393675652328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1325271292550856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2146833452235,0.0,0.0,0.18730742088262686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966075574033337,0.0,0.2080187890805698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15584848034336374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4516910957990406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868809250475713,0.0,0.13278303571869945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23525343927385897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11535559189490258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647661396948786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,JessBEA,2018/02/03,"When the time comes I won’t even care to say I told you so... So a couple of days ago I realized the real reasons why my husband whom I have been with for almost 16 years, decided he wanted a divorce. About two weeks or so before Christmas, he dropped of that news and left me desperate and lost and feeling utterly hopeless. He went on to say we just didn’t get along and that we couldn’t work it out and had vastly different sex drives..... he refused any sort of counseling or anything he just wanted me gone and it over. But what I learned is that he’s really just a lazy coward who refuses to put effort into anything. I know I will be ok in the long run because I truly deserved better. I didn’t give the whole backstory but he really was a selfish child and I have no idea why I would put up with that and further punish myself? I do know that I come from a divorced family and knew I didn’t want that for my son, I would have done whatever it took to make it work. Because I am not a quitter! But if someone you love is selfish and only cares about their wants and needs then they will never see your marriage as a partnership only for what they can take from you. I gave him so much for almost 16 years just to be discarded like trash. I was so busy raising our son and doing what I could to make a better life for our family that I “failed” him.  Thank goodness I worked so hard to raise my son, and go back to school and grow up because now I realize that I don’t need you and will be better off without you. I will happily wait for Mr. Right (or Gerard Butler) to walk into my life!  You will never have a good relationship with anyone because you refuse to put in effort and try. I put you on a pedestal and that’s my mistake, but when you finally realize that I was the only person who was ever going to glorify you that way, it will be too late because you helped me realize just how much of a worthless pos you really are. Your son deserved a better father, I deserved a better, husband, lover, and friend. ",5.952441118203829,5.088989506053268,6.702792207792211,80.44315155183801,66.772397094431,9.736693814659915,31.121395553598948,8.97023862654752,2.361862953995157,1578,51,326,23,22,524,203,413,0.121,0.741,0.138,0.8806,1,0,0,0,2,1,37.0,4,14,3,12,21,23,1,0,18,1,37,5,0,4,3,82,68,37,0,12,15,7,2,1,2,9,2,2,0,3,22,29,0,4,12,0,0,15,11,8,0,1,17,5,59,15,42,36,3,49,0,4,1,3,59,15,0,7,18,232,81,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389015428707231,0.0,0.16693818915918804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668500721284672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05828452407910924,0.0,0.1371899377612697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06409569655133908,0.0,0.2540655280154344,0.0,0.07092990264716634,0.0,0.0,0.3686084882116271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699742011156818,0.0,0.0,0.14360780064603462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06655306405386825,0.09223194051020693,0.0,0.053757789390434345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08708938430353913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530223213927246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055055918686989065,0.07540036575472718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716142740097128,0.0,0.04214734933311647,0.0,0.0,0.09131253444144473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440071700694035,0.0,0.04355012247644896,0.07996276775329662,0.09474638649867156,0.13983028575228873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746706938608899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05587183755757853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09409889210589456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09162066652914368,0.0,0.09402931288041882,0.0,0.0905666478414174,0.0,0.11775375880892025,0.04072358056294813,0.0,0.0,0.07376752649110163,0.0,0.0,0.09099303118180008,0.0,0.07523213576496228,0.0,0.11128168963235588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12255265090362233,0.12361498566461075,0.12857872795931616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19018821337814112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07278333236586662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3351836192290827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09487749212910146,0.1602001586350382,0.08570395496409294,0.0,0.08949325752983077,0.0,0.07118565496769302,0.0,0.13257623467308607,0.0,0.08436082457583001,0.06642402049896412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062735403893536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267341430135147,0.0,0.0,0.07674309873190803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048605612936875736,0.0,0.0,0.07965032683588713,0.09261169549267396,0.056593321070962536,0.0,0.08142679874904538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19666235265985188,0.06616419321881102,0.06686323641344832,0.0,0.0,0.07727194091372662,0.15043183222666812,0.09306411016251903,0.0,0.08035230697936885,0.0,0.1820527033017436,0.0,0.0,0.1184275653663751,0.0,0.0,0.10735719246062134
divorce,Semitar1,2018/02/03,"Using a forensic accountant for divorce I'm not asking for myself, but for someone's situation I been made aware of...and I don't know many details.

What I DO know is this: 

Someone was sharing a situation of of someone they knew...which involves a wife going through a divorce and had been willing to give up certain assets (primary residence and car(s). But apparently the husband wants alimony...even though he has a business that might generate more income than his soon to be ex-wife.

There's a suspicion that he may have been hiding assets so as to look less well off... rendering a request for alimony more likely.

I immediately thought about suggesting a forensic accountant....so I was curious of people's thoughts on that. I'm only trying to make a suggestion if it would be helpful.",7.037343987823437,7.787555321917808,7.790091324200915,68.10506088280064,64.27397260273972,10.872450532724507,40.19482496194825,10.746095033038511,4.782629528158294,631,35,102,16,9,211,97,146,0.045,0.8140000000000001,0.14,0.9024,2,0,0,0,2,0,28.0,0,0,1,0,6,4,0,0,10,0,17,0,0,3,1,18,31,8,0,3,4,2,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,0,1,0,9,1,8,4,18,16,3,5,0,0,1,0,16,3,0,3,2,73,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780221056610248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257742247004797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267345925611,0.10822318098797416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127638176221302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093057127020115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930322641867524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599094320094458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1801851807298021,0.12711047758954774,0.1930615346068404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2020113273058218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14482714819940642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13201704169250958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4280924057974122,0.0,0.0,0.4840406395212507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18709205402693152,0.3023530993942386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12928639192079766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16446646261355685,0.0,0.0,0.11231787391557338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1712153635933944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1352727878523373,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kevin2341,2018/02/03,"Looks like it's over Hi everyone it's been over a week since me and my wife have been separated and I think it's the end of the road. I'm 22 and she's 23 May of this year would've been two years of marriage. I'm not really sure what to say honestly. A bit about us is I'm in the Military so we got married young and that might be why we've ended up here but who knows. She's always complained about being depressed and having anxiety attacks and never wanted to actually get help for either until not too long ago. Now that she has and is taking her medication she's not the same.

I came home last Thursday and she was on the couch and told me she wanted to talk. She had decided to leave and go live with a couple she knows from work because she couldn't keep living a lie. She's unhappy and I don't deserve that she said I deserve happiness. 

I'm not sure what to do at this point. Last year was rough for us and I can see through our joint account that she's moving money out into a new account that I can't see. And has already told me if I do my taxes to file separately. 

I've been drinking a lot but I feel like at this point I'm at peace with it. Next week I'm going to our Legal offices and getting the information I'll need for a divorce from them. As much as I love her I don't know if I have it in me to continue this game with her. This constant feeling of doing the most to be good for someone only to receive nothing in return. 

When we would go to counseling they would point out flaws in her arguments of why we'd fight about anything. She claimed I had anger issues but yet with counseling it became clear that I really wasn't crazy and didn't have anger issues. When that didn't work she just stopped going to counseling with me so we just left it at that. There is no romance it's been dead and gone for the last 6 months. I don't know what to do anymore",2.0175530869795253,3.4508652992518734,3.6563228292904135,90.49173581198521,76.80548628428926,6.755867905992595,23.12408373006877,7.463857097105799,0.7812221113881961,1479,44,333,19,33,493,193,401,0.123,0.77,0.107,-0.7499,0,0,1,0,2,0,20.0,8,0,2,2,14,15,4,0,15,0,39,3,0,0,4,66,73,28,1,8,12,1,3,2,0,4,1,2,2,0,25,28,1,2,9,2,4,8,14,6,0,1,18,8,49,9,52,46,6,55,0,1,3,1,45,20,0,6,29,223,74,4,0.0,0.0,0.09160112318713293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08320786033610449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10358510202236748,0.0,0.07810526570154422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07180836782422864,0.0,0.09309132052255067,0.0,0.0,0.0772449407563072,0.0,0.0,0.1067878134427774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057220746594179375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247898033614652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107359394351684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143740245011952,0.0,0.0,0.10386258492146498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808479258505625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919543979435966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662774577783114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969440292866075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09492443995236152,0.06705894884971739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980837716094635,0.0,0.2133882158238056,0.07873159150832669,0.07507440138032634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09992368146824686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06291739543743095,0.0,0.0941567392711973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19594653012666416,0.0,0.0834337321379654,0.0,0.0,0.20634845597532056,0.22954358173097844,0.0,0.09939211145651,0.10198729529539334,0.0,0.0,0.0917178218549406,0.0,0.1657734150326122,0.08306976891352051,0.07882504487112961,0.0,0.0,0.07980277759795157,0.08471906854054377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945616140993228,0.0,0.0995785660624275,0.0,0.0,0.0749241296495031,0.09976627956118822,0.06900340078185549,0.06960154950190749,0.07239638989429334,0.09065780032969133,0.0998291334295329,0.0,0.0,0.09006838187939817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139045090662076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662053372088315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1202678268766156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928947208842483,0.07464719031243648,0.0,0.0,0.14960046230698815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776481522140376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953361401775452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07847741917524452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1769379843333059,0.0,0.07057666551504359,0.07544712746713082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014649311783848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1793888058573215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09169489173893984,0.0,0.2258220497058371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107309473865429,0.0,0.1505896662631149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940160711250368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667329164757258,0.0,0.0,0.2000423009133088,0.0,0.0,0.181342745103103
divorce,itsmekeoni,2018/02/04,"Heading for divorce not sure to go with Legal Separation or Divorce. My wife left me and our 6 kids last week after 15 years together. Our kids range in age from 2-12 with 3 of the under the age of 5. She told my daughter I didn't make her happy anymore. To say the least I'm hurt, sad, and angry. She told me this past Thursday she wanted to separate and acknowledged we'll still be married and there would be rules to it (we did this in counseling). She didn't know there were different forms of separation such as trial and legal. She wanted a legal separation and not a trial separation which is what the therapist and I thought.

I told her we don't have much of a reason to a legal separation as we don't have many assets and most of our things aren't very complicated but what we do have is different from most other people.

We are poor, we were homeless for a bit which ate up our savings and forced us to go on welfare and in order to get a place to live we applied for Section 8 and now live in a partially subsidized rental home. She has left the house as I've been the primary caregiver of the family (including here as she has mental illnesses and is a part-time student) for more than 5 years. We have a car we still owe like $5500 on and she has two department store credit cards with low limits and a very minimal balance.

She is the head of household on the section 8 forms as well as the welfare. I'm pretty sure the section 8 can be transferred to me but I think she doesn't want to do that since she wants the legal separation.

I started doubting if I should just file for divorce or give her the legal separation. She didn't want a divorce since it's so final but it seems that is what her end goal is. I'm so damn confused and it's weighing on me. Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks.  ",4.504395777178799,5.012165309973046,5.73740229110512,81.46123371518418,69.75471698113208,8.878751123090746,29.20496406109613,8.959647251330699,2.1875309074573237,1434,51,296,25,24,481,180,371,0.112,0.7959999999999999,0.092,-0.7747,4,0,0,0,4,0,29.0,15,0,0,2,11,15,1,2,24,0,36,5,2,2,2,59,60,29,0,9,9,2,0,1,0,4,1,2,1,2,15,27,2,1,6,0,4,4,9,6,1,1,12,2,43,9,45,40,11,37,0,3,0,0,45,17,1,8,16,207,58,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494623662341861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10929820600104992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032022578135393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302909331524841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976129016731602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389570457175476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072911602949582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05757991300668111,0.10572299110061403,0.12526919287634872,0.0,0.0,0.12150635857382547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11732005798385994,0.0,0.0,0.2262134769708447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07387110214967896,0.0,0.11054911056673122,0.0,0.0,0.12716696154140827,0.11798154503049367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060568256854100985,0.08983544882387386,0.0,0.0,0.2394858800608705,0.0,0.0,0.0538427929198862,0.0,0.19463400845563109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07356569446770944,0.11173513102685266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11106525056426593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08101666053390304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11934614448829595,0.10520743453505356,0.07640538795741751,0.0,0.11514546657624206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11212267860877168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11331371740296813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08764301481996756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003305861114269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233286816970004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800684861676341,0.0,0.17602689196999458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077422916821497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146609693775342,0.0,0.12796171942079518,0.0732182921324613,0.07061779506545685,0.0,0.08749402941913956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159296894729233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10765866366777813,0.0,0.13256845412537088,0.0,0.0,0.18186875278395045,0.3250220812802306,0.0,0.08840341007338152,0.0,0.09909157266296956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15657932799331448,0.0,0.0,0.14194260431453426
divorce,FKA-Unruffled,2018/02/04,"A Young, Queer Divorce Free Write I've never been good at doing things I don't want to do and moving through this marital dissolution is one of those things.
.
As I sob through this paperwork all of what I've attempted to neatly pack away has in return been dumped over my head. I have no other options which is the emptiest ultimatum I have ever experienced -- it no longer is a possibility or an option, it just IS and there's nothing I can do to change it. One half can't fill the space of the whole.  It's strange existing in a world that doesn't feel like it's the one you picked out and chose to color in.  Yes, of course it's mine and I've chosen the navigating tools, but I can tell you from experience that when you commit to someone through the bond of marriage, the dynamics of how you're molded, hold and live in relationship are absolutely different.  I remember learning in a grief class during middle school that the most traumatic events in a humans life are death, divorce and moving. I never understood the moving or divorce part, it just seemed silly -- moving is full of adventure and divorce is just another ""break up.""
.
But it's not.
.
It's the breaking and dismemberment of the most sacred bond. It's where you bury the promises and dreams you had for yourself, your union, your potential family. It's where you are stripped of everything that's an extension of you and left bare. It's where you set fire to what could have been. It's death.
.
I grew up watching my parents toxic relationship and always wondered why they couldn't make the choice to stop screaming out of their wounds.  I remembered this every time I added weight to my sinking ship -- I didn't want to see it go under, but I was shy, scared and fearful of being vulnerable. I could see I was poking holes in the bow every time I closed myself off to softening, but I had witnessed and felt tremendous pain before so grasping onto the last piece of me was the only life raft I had that I KNEW would keep that inner me hidden and safe.  I finally understood what my parents had been experiencing -- a desperate desire to love and be loved but an overwhelming fear of that as well.
.
Sad as it is, I know I've learned a valuable lesson -- there are not endless opportunities and every moment counts. To constantly express the resounding love that lives within for your other above petty insignificances, to express without blame, to nurture your bond as you would a beautiful garden and to never assume you have infinite time to figure things out.",6.897705040262451,7.155222139874746,7.06967715478676,74.84619780793321,64.55323590814196,10.183149418431256,32.347226364449746,9.957137785484203,3.0792391291380854,2011,73,366,40,28,649,245,479,0.154,0.731,0.115,-0.9379,3,0,0,0,4,0,53.0,0,14,2,3,13,26,1,4,28,1,43,10,1,3,6,76,61,31,3,8,13,2,4,1,0,2,4,1,1,1,36,21,1,4,16,2,1,7,13,10,1,5,16,11,45,17,60,38,7,56,0,4,4,4,33,29,2,9,18,268,81,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690155833300702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691132893972662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683243929889284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864334385463882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776901420810633,0.0,0.0,0.09987411542103426,0.0,0.1475810710471139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656012683313094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359995812078612,0.2336056792511164,0.0,0.0830619086993115,0.09040533423252957,0.0871261605790052,0.20799832171013635,0.046730763224842514,0.0660254801055586,0.08873851812497571,0.10124253349167646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052524903984886635,0.07751823161531554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485046470850472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08214790592308778,0.0,0.0,0.05079208706858772,0.07533533529781464,0.0,0.0,0.10041553367674212,0.0,0.13055917178191814,0.04515216332856424,0.0,0.1632186233756089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.250240300680259,0.0,0.06169164101363804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3929149871486893,0.0,0.0,0.21384199197897533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868030677374868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18788029770001147,0.07029022788032878,0.09834231008547713,0.0,0.2052448532013416,0.10008278390365036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10419063198497114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19845082995814314,0.2093896336574951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252940276532393,0.09353484337882298,0.14729491763982586,0.08413647890989273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830789387738157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772679764203093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0807799043428152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18420093604295945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1616740382603462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090244343096448,0.0,0.0,0.11254370788545888,0.08309745150144691,0.0,0.08339545006380908,0.10318458848652262,0.0,0.08909040998866295,0.10022647912915036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130625303836688,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,time_4a_change,2018/02/04,"Buying or leasing a car during divorce My soon to be ex recently used my car and got in an accident and now it is going to be totaled out. I need to get a new car but wasn’t sure if anyone knew the difference it would make to buy a car or lease a car in terms of the divorce process?

Primarily wanting to see if there’s any strategic or other advantage disadvantages to having the car as an asset or not having it as an asset but a marital debt obligation. 

I am the primary income earner in the household and likely will be paying him alimony in the process so wanting to think through any financial advantages that it could be for me",7.855885416666666,6.0560782343750015,8.8628125,69.51760416666669,63.53125,12.283333333333333,39.30208333333333,11.20814326018867,4.409589583333333,506,23,95,12,6,175,81,128,0.066,0.8220000000000001,0.113,0.7469,2,0,0,0,2,0,3.0,0,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,14,0,12,0,0,2,2,24,23,14,0,7,9,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,0,2,0,4,7,2,0,0,0,3,1,6,4,17,13,2,17,0,0,1,0,4,5,0,6,6,72,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3769089746095133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377222731729565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22126174418109426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2895366178041306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14478636251277602,0.0,0.1574965107134964,0.0,0.2216421598663897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13538926558458714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18498307398397784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054846589252039,0.0,0.2676490295542246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736274820713577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083272708865348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611870110782952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17757049537420788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393470026897958,0.0,0.0,0.32691098285915154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968616324777738,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nu_leaf,2018/02/04,"Accounting for splitting assets and also legal fees Say we've agreed on these terms:
    
-Split the equity of the house  
-Split the legal fees of the divorce, itself
    
Say I will live in the house and pay out her half.  I would like to structure it such that it's owed when/if the house is sold or within 5 years, whichever comes first.  Let's say her half of the equity is $10,000, but her half of the legal expenses is $4000.  Is it reasonable to expect that my attorney can write up the paperwork to account for that difference and roll it into one number, $6000, that I will pay her?",2.817179487179488,4.636966145299149,4.101205128205127,86.49796153846155,75.58119658119658,7.4150427350427375,21.1017094017094,8.238735603445708,1.0524365811965808,457,11,92,8,10,150,71,117,0.025,0.8809999999999999,0.094,0.5499,1,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,9,0,9,0,0,1,0,12,12,6,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,0,0,10,6,0,0,1,0,9,1,0,0,0,5,1,3,8,1,15,7,1,10,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,4,63,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15876735575885018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17101923290154872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074254968108614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16887269315263256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6872438219229938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2030141946078392,0.0,0.0969935543549753,0.0,0.17530892487837044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13453159659695732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412574482238294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4736459827273237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103266878431045,0.0,0.0,0.12784921583983858
divorce,passthechickenplease,2018/02/04,"new car I am recently separated. Nothing has been put into writing between us. No separation agreement, no divorce filed. I need a new car to get to and from work and will be required to use it for business use so it needs to be newer and reliable. I got a great deal on an 2017 Golf Sportwagen which is an upgrade from my 06 Jetta wagon that I had to sell last year. Question is since we are living separate but still technically married, do I need to involve her in this at all? We don't and never have had joint bank accounts and she has her own car under her own loan, insurance, registration etc. So really me getting a newer car shouldn't have any bearing on her finances or give her any reason to be able to complain correct?
I am in Canada.",3.96145210494204,5.2580695503355726,5.531653447223917,79.52931665649788,71.61744966442953,8.10274557657108,30.995118974984752,8.575989854853784,2.4936926174496645,589,26,112,10,11,200,101,149,0.047,0.921,0.032,-0.2869,1,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,3,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,5,0,19,0,0,3,3,23,28,9,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,8,0,1,2,1,5,5,5,1,0,0,4,0,17,2,19,19,4,21,0,0,0,0,16,7,0,2,9,82,22,3,0.17658874321483342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401728017442317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205524026879916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19694312781068912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18452065979631205,0.16940001343230035,0.0,0.0,0.14123414963759826,0.19468971280738187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439433947056817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593109551444986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3928149466378752,0.13619612511798204,0.3411010171819893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944166173937422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17752046106906044,0.19781980663304904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11312727071661967,0.1815626388384995,0.17436008009993076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460760332050312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410239984403448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241451528897096,0.3050319525272534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285587082221798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371736094098335
divorce,The_local_unknown11,2018/02/04,"My reason for living I wrote a poem to my 4 year old. I feel like divorce has cost me damn near everything. We sold our house and our rental. She left me and moved with my daughter while pregnant with my second one so I had to move away to be with my kids. I've had a few pretty solid mental health breakdowns. I've lost 4 jobs in 2 years because I'm not a well balanced person anymore and I have turned into a depressed shitty employee. I have lost my pride, my joy, my healthy and happy self, and my first true love. 

What I do still have though (at least 50% of the time) is my reason for living. My kids are my everything. I may never have the same relationship with their mother ever again, but I am damn happy that her and I were able to bring two beautiful girls into the world. 

I don't claim to be a good writer, but here goes...

Anything for my baby

Anything for my girl

Anything for the one

With the beautiful curls

I'll give up my world

I'll give up spokane

I'll do anything for you

You know that I can

I'll keep you in my heart

So close and so dear

Though your friends are now far

Your daddy is near

I pray you don't get it

That you don't understand

That life as you knew it

Now has a new plan

We'll figure it out

Just you and i

How to move forward

To survive and to thrive

You've made my heart full

And you've opened it wide

Just know baby girl

Daddy's here by your side

Through all of life's drama

Through all of its pain

I'll never leave you monkey

Daddy's not that insane

Instead I'll be here

Holding on by an inch

But For you Cali bear

It will be a sinch

So hold on to me tight

Through the thick and the thin

Cause you and i will get through this

No matter how it ends",-0.2823691460055073,1.8964297988980725,1.3389201101928379,99.83080440771352,89.85399449035812,3.998016528925621,16.33112947658402,5.382237516146466,-0.873773994490358,1319,30,310,7,45,424,181,363,0.06,0.7929999999999999,0.147,0.9851,3,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,4,13,1,6,20,17,2,0,15,0,28,7,2,6,6,56,47,25,0,0,7,2,4,1,1,4,4,0,0,7,14,23,0,4,8,1,2,5,8,6,1,5,9,4,54,11,44,30,6,45,1,3,0,1,36,26,2,1,17,206,68,1,0.1024092146250834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10156242273122568,0.0,0.0,0.33709623122340904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621682824546576,0.0,0.0,0.062427706707486236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520247333643704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820490649489214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09070416749251886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263499766657332,0.0,0.0,0.18407759744149246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05178117596705048,0.0731611633904882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08710922564432437,0.0,0.0,0.07912110518229877,0.0,0.10700917571429436,0.1964805005942555,0.0,0.08589599045524164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21803302652001874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885620627569197,0.0,0.2427108248237352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816648395299335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162534351434936,0.0910260153779556,0.0,0.0,0.11256285225121757,0.0,0.0,0.10843657156469114,0.11126791133547102,0.0,0.14466931377996253,0.05003196937657694,0.0,0.1808584254754728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22358351042009436,0.0,0.09242831452182557,0.09690207502947304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10320440143774293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32653436439309663,0.0,0.0,0.15796859929337245,0.09890745763711377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10746124366488097,0.0,0.13879026840252526,0.0,0.10897062474758018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941977610307257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418698805094784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21058745773039209,0.0,0.1099491709286592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10683514547377096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178413108696703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2012330668183231,0.0,0.059715636600974516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11139181796582252,0.10003892204782114,0.10661160407964457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092078182800199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13189635320112522
divorce,Mankenchui,2018/02/04,"Husband wants devorce (UK) I'm 28f Thai and married my husband 3 years ago. We have a son that's 3 years old. 

I caught him cheating on me a year ago and he has mentally and physically abused me and because of this I ran away from him a year ago because of the continued abuse and I returned back to thailand.

I was diagnosed with bipolar and depression last year and will have to take medication for the rest of my life according to my doctor. I'm working hard  just to pay for all the medication and have not received any financial support from him. 

We have remained in touch as I would ask him to send me photos and videos of my son to me which I received once every few months. 

Last year we decided to stay friends and I visited the UK to see my son last November. 

However we decided I was not to be called his mummy as he is autistic and he said it may cause him to be upset which I accepted as It allowed me to see my son however he looked unhappy when I did interact with my son so I didn't for the remainder of the stay. 

Eventually I had to leave again because we can't stay together for long before he starts emotionally abusing me which isn't good for my mental condition. 

I left to stay at my friend's for the remainder of the trip and wasn't able to call him to arrange another meeting with my son. 

He called me yesterday saying I just left our son again and he wants to devorce me and told me he has a solicitor and has been to court and will email me the papers to sign. 

Im scared as because I'm not a UK resident I will not be able to live in the UK and see my son again if I sign the papers even if he said I could. I don't know the UK laws and I'm scared. 

I don't have a lot of money and he has very high paid job so I believe my son would be happier in his custody I only want to see my son which I am denied even now before we are devorce.
He said he will call me tomorrow about the papers. 
",2.71494252873563,3.707566438423648,4.59785221674877,86.20260755336618,74.27093596059113,8.368998357963875,27.572742200328413,8.841846274778883,1.9403349096880127,1498,57,335,30,30,513,171,406,0.097,0.871,0.032,-0.9742,4,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,7,0,0,1,13,10,1,3,19,0,35,6,0,2,1,54,59,28,0,8,8,12,2,0,2,7,6,4,0,0,8,28,0,0,4,1,3,7,10,5,0,0,14,11,61,5,49,33,4,46,0,1,5,0,58,9,0,4,26,213,69,7,0.15681047867065268,0.2786921630782419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850454190798548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331825137824126,0.08221472972184313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329831484921634,0.0,0.07366430329819149,0.060288789382269926,0.0,0.19118042467077576,0.0,0.13343416771123565,0.08833585556038345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3202420623706064,0.0,0.0,0.08054377851454905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260020371686807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753031775119395,0.07957966750803393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802510847741643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819534119553689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357184224711943,0.0,0.0660597957302565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12115138683573545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576259484308729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0702356940859721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283944010412245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0846911128887728,0.0,0.07780510191341415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04308946906454466,0.19173220399855545,0.0,0.08301982763325902,0.1703750438969324,0.0,0.05537993926094007,0.0,0.0,0.06923326278366711,0.06938616954276834,0.06584065417755512,0.0,0.0,0.0666573306850028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797005996162167,0.15802808028181856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06258231400784159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227310950154602,0.08349902102192809,0.0,0.059630717589912924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22374401168112606,0.062350993275328524,0.15699464495850568,0.0,0.24991529835879234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055495631951096164,0.3342782119296621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08897333645360588,0.0,0.0,0.05895098232773607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491956616762037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469253371257247,0.13873632470903932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05707994803801119,0.0,0.0,0.1113936649352043,0.0,0.0,0.3029424210912175
divorce,OrdinaryInjury,2018/02/05,"How many attorneys do people typically consult with before hiring one? I met with 2 attorneys so far.  The last attorney appeared to be much more knowledgeable than the first (granted I wasn't as prepared with my finances for the first attorney).  I think I want to go with the 2nd attorney and I felt pretty comfortable with her but she is more expensive with a retainer of $2,500 and hourly rate between $250 -$350.  I am balancing whether to I should get file for divorce this week but I want to make sure I am picking the best attorney to represent my interests while also considering attorney costs.  My husband does say he wants to do this amicably (he cheated and I am pretty much a SAHM with 3 kids) but I don't think he realizes how much is involved in asset division, child support, etc.  How many attorneys did it take and what is a typical retainer and hourly attorney rate?  ",4.446022241231823,6.576159389221559,5.666933276304532,75.67959580838324,71.87425149700599,10.280410607356716,33.48545765611634,10.451354775682146,4.132750556030796,706,36,125,23,14,235,100,167,0.034,0.7929999999999999,0.174,0.9712,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,0,0,0,3,5,6,1,0,8,0,13,0,0,5,1,34,26,16,0,4,4,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,4,12,0,2,5,0,3,2,2,1,0,3,4,2,16,5,20,20,7,11,0,0,0,0,13,2,0,1,7,86,20,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319678305268822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14042135128325325,0.0,0.17318014122557598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14441164184579244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404286813917267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844675487113768,0.0,0.0,0.2807348254188269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08621705117959093,0.0,0.09378566108803446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3250263571045569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451474801795454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015329676251348,0.3346122981874829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639299125117075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11182300577698256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11440530038933562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33577288381396564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312319157792061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872647215821447,0.15553104250129005,0.0,0.12407581566140118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21147854289539827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920023037858703,0.0,0.13237049055393185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Atoyotoyota,2018/02/05,"How long does it take to get a divorce decree? I filed for a divorce in Florida in Nov of 2016.  I was not able to get a court date for a contested divorce until Dec of 2017.  During that time the STBX filed a domestic abuse claim that was found to be unsubstantiated.

So now, it's February, and we still do not have a divorce decree.  How long should it take from the court date to getting the decree?

Thanks ahead of time.",2.8718991596638617,4.52107857647059,4.138655462184875,87.01823529411767,75.0,7.2100840336134455,23.907563025210084,7.957251820313856,1.1264621848739498,329,10,70,5,7,108,52,85,0.056,0.908,0.036000000000000004,-0.3939,0,0,0,0,5,0,9.0,1,0,0,1,5,1,0,0,9,0,6,0,0,2,0,8,13,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,14,8,0,12,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,10,45,8,0,0.2576163888336391,0.3052332950242182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254418379145265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2824630734106314,0.0,0.0,0.4037817913237183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4559647948055642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20573278089919975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873909272954541,0.0,0.0,0.2371785589846137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3004363760500309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,suzukiaquarian1,2018/02/05,Anyone with one just one child divorced... Need advice on how to handle the situation. I am getting anxiety attacks on how to make her understand of the situation (she is 7) and keep her engaged. Any tips will be really helpful. ,2.8435714285714297,5.736265738095242,5.105047619047621,73.42328571428571,82.09523809523809,8.121904761904762,29.82857142857143,8.841846274778883,3.354480000000001,179,9,29,5,5,62,35,42,0.097,0.7809999999999999,0.122,0.2944,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,2,0,4,0,0,3,0,9,9,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,1,6,7,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,0,22,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550605197539759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17749892972372422,0.0,0.1996755121141848,0.0,0.0,0.1825075298068217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29694187436392483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363693948186514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17495263484628087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320018362348137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17422932252105527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19353907437017348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537405980829795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16721268460822514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5867828620653771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27172548208021985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,canukiebacon309,2018/02/05,"I’ve no idea where to begin It’s time. I’ve made my decision and I’ll lay in this bed.
I have no idea where to begin. Because of the mentality of my wife, I know I need to seek legal counsel before I file but otherwise I have no clue what to do here.
Any advice? Anything at all... I’m filing and I feel alone, just as alone as in the marriage but deeper somehow. ",-0.8459493670886076,1.2195204177215224,2.128974683544307,93.86966455696205,91.65822784810128,4.678987341772152,18.02658227848101,6.2581,-0.155006075949367,279,8,64,3,10,98,52,79,0.14800000000000002,0.835,0.017,-0.8294,0,2,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,1,14,10,6,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,8,0,11,9,1,8,0,0,0,0,2,5,0,1,3,40,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24478102508439656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5188749949028796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703453361228368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20613621846129188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15269955811951189,0.0,0.21315297821561055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665790729950208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5655572149572697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13766561920952025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23702462925952555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2524402597291346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18573902799191586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460657743607403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Viper2019,2018/02/05,"I did it...I left Been married 15 years. Have a 3 year old. I got tired of being controlled and being accused of cheating when I never ever had sex with anyone else. We only had sex 4-6 times a year. I just can't go thru life like this anymore. I've developed such severe anxiety just being home there everyday. I want to be happy, not content with life. I had a second cancer scare (survived it the first time) and I realized I can't do this anymore. Life is too short.

The hardest part is my son. I love him so so much. It's been about 5 days and I haven't gotten to see him.  I miss him. I've cried so much. I can't stop crying. I was supposed to see him but then she changed her mind. I did get to do a video call. How do you all deal with not seeing your kids? 

I just couldn't ""stay for the kid"" because I grew up in that home. It was miserable. I figured out one parent didn't want to be there at a young age. I want him to see me at my best, even if it is only 6 months a year.

How did you guys stay strong? I just can't stop crying. Will my kid hate me? Will my kid think I abondoned him? 

Sorry for the ramblings :(",-1.2418341836734683,0.7582173918367374,1.2187946428571443,99.96104910714287,93.44897959183672,3.878826530612245,15.81951530612245,5.3872612403679225,-0.9173647959183672,851,20,208,5,32,287,135,245,0.134,0.741,0.125,-0.2729,1,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,1,3,0,5,17,10,2,2,10,0,31,8,0,3,3,32,46,12,0,5,8,2,0,1,0,2,5,0,2,5,7,8,0,3,3,1,0,2,10,5,0,3,13,4,38,5,20,25,5,30,0,2,4,3,22,7,0,1,20,139,45,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08267479732096675,0.0,0.21435680241004565,0.07556646719754367,0.1107325529401209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06587969857228816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134149144953858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035361269583188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432586431675427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212119567946218,0.0,0.0,0.35613610853650324,0.0696975104930256,0.11141750426518753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09028030283848408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138054808244003,0.09775732676059737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09192600258733104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05646316845787111,0.0,0.061419817872407335,0.0,0.08643506468917654,0.0,0.0,0.10700828804632696,0.0,0.11504467185737613,0.0,0.10669874272627428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21681008972948249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11742056285834825,0.0,0.2290033853672088,0.05279852865573193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975392148997892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10912192946218184,0.0,0.08626205302959819,0.0,0.15889073507593324,0.0,0.08335180206199988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134034023389266,0.0,0.07323239575312529,0.16438727792294586,0.0,0.0,0.12000118559476684,0.1170314630426444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819894249257588,0.0,0.3444776221798501,0.0,0.0,0.12209061791365874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097777522379635,0.0,0.2303807817053766,0.0,0.18070609098001966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06924818483907147,0.0,0.0,0.12603532459579309,0.1242128856889863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19123102731041788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783793430820414
divorce,Imjustme143,2018/02/05,"Clueless to this process, but I've got to get out... Just need to vent I guess. .. 
I don't know what I'm doing with my life. We had ""the talk"" back in November.  He knew things weren't great between us,  but didn't think I'd ever actually want a divorce. Basically thought he could be a lazy bum and treat everyone like shit forever.  We don't really fight. I'm overly passive and he's overly aggressive so he pretty much gets his way all the time.  We've been married for 12 years and have a 7yr old. He had a huge breakdown when we talked and begged me not to leave him. He's so sorry that he's been such a piece of shit and he'll change. And he has... to a degree... he got a job, started therapy, got his anger under contol and got on meds... but it's not enough. I agreed to give him another chance, but it's not working or. I don't love him. Tbh, I can barely stand being around him. I'm scared to have the talk with him again. I don't want to deal with the meltdown he is sure to have. I want to get a lawyer and have a plan in place,  but I feel like I've been pretending this 2nd chance has hope for too long. It's torture going through the motions every day. I can't even imagine what a horrible liar I'll feel like when I start meeting with a lawyer in secret. I can't wait till i can telI him it's over, it will be such a relief! I don't know anything about the legal system or dicorce.  It's all so overwhelming. Thanks for reading this pointless rant... just writing it has givin me some clarity and courage to take the next steps.I know him and when he finds out I'm done,  things are going to get really ugly really fast.  Wish me luck!",0.4257577634941541,2.4590281203438416,2.221599938046932,95.9350065825138,84.41547277936962,5.492170680709363,19.174552776271973,6.766488616294105,0.014538232788662953,1270,34,297,15,37,418,180,349,0.15,0.665,0.185,0.7539,1,0,0,0,2,0,53.0,4,0,0,2,17,21,7,2,19,0,32,4,2,0,4,59,69,24,0,7,12,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,15,20,0,1,11,2,0,3,12,9,0,0,14,2,30,12,35,49,6,35,0,1,0,1,36,13,2,6,19,172,45,6,0.0,0.0,0.1055769559719286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134457054310308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08903041169727095,0.09631123718494433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08319074044510673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144497233448668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638019360780701,0.0,0.0,0.06977301979237023,0.11153821241706093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11071501263119048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11178826195587796,0.0,0.07145788076095916,0.09786323566892538,0.09115398363047417,0.10337932221182444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940732022506687,0.15458063054023607,0.0,0.0,0.098882878173338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260973594312353,0.10378484384062557,0.12297271847275185,0.0,0.34611482887419354,0.11927886563695883,0.1191824919421042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074561885501998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10736098874938482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17837370132631242,0.0,0.0,0.11455663653559855,0.0,0.0,0.07641716146779226,0.15856718950986268,0.0,0.0,0.09574394974681906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09764488750880508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12017370156625636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953143752807866,0.08022084742704445,0.0,0.0,0.11506033614100998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352626198474948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11303458352023345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006721025637377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821837836512714,0.0,0.20792612504956007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831616370004302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221091146230439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12110884083831835,0.15315360486699453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019669471931937,0.0,0.08134473954544214,0.2608749034179306,0.0,0.09960598840587813,0.12372366560468975,0.0,0.14375206255776593,0.06932320734534317,0.0,0.08589006124136947,0.06308593474396801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13013816735946326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143820430688474,0.08587547247290203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12441212669169435,0.0,0.0,0.07876295395055387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06967023383350948
divorce,SuddenProcess,2018/02/06,"Crazy Parent I think one of parents is crazy. All they do is talk about the other and is always saying that they are trying to manipulate me, and that I dont love them. Its been going on for years. The other parent is already married. I feel like that the main goal of this parent is to just ruin the others life even though this parent divorced the other. All of my friends think that she is crazy. This parent will ground us for anything and is always asking questions that are too complicated about what we did there at the other's.Please help.",4.523773584905658,6.0957709528301915,4.605801886792452,85.6409669811321,70.60377358490567,6.054716981132076,22.683962264150942,5.985473137389443,0.4303056603773587,435,10,81,2,8,135,66,106,0.124,0.804,0.07200000000000001,-0.7243,6,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,2,0,3,1,7,4,0,0,6,0,14,2,0,1,2,12,20,4,0,0,1,6,1,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,14,4,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,2,11,3,11,17,3,5,0,1,0,1,20,3,0,1,2,68,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.137352474865438,0.0,0.20713309799730056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10242576950324313,0.0,0.11635988156433325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587444512602696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08220930673553861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06293427576997103,0.08891927899433454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09616292715978868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073748777162724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834276339618075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791475201986652,0.06080830918293247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233636406348936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843420882464207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8292355164150422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13662743431969726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394315715942066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09898118678254078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004189286661028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15950690828934586,0.12228823587591008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08450495064039443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497185251581112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015269362263132
divorce,seeds_of_change_TA,2018/02/06,"Uncontested divorce - Respondent saying he won't show up to court date He ""just can't do it."" I petitioned the court for a new date but haven't heard back and they told me it wasn't likely a new date would be granted. 

I'm ready to get this the fuck over with. I will be there. But what is the most likely outcome if he doesn't show?

Here are the facts:

* I am the petitioner (I filed)
* He (as respondent) completed and signed the agreement
* We have no joint property, debts or assets
* All marital assets/debts/properties were settled before filing
* He isn't unhappy w/ the agreement, just doesn't want to go to court (yes, I married a child).

What is the likelihood that the judge will just grant the dissolution of marriage without him there? I know there's not much I can do besides show up and hope for the best, I can't force him to show up. 

Thanks.",1.3284319526627255,3.8344345502958594,2.5776893491124246,91.63221449704143,85.15384615384616,6.220236686390532,21.46775147928994,7.554174236665415,0.8913311242603559,665,22,140,12,20,213,100,169,0.05,0.747,0.204,0.9828,2,0,0,0,1,0,31.0,1,0,1,1,8,8,1,0,14,1,22,1,0,0,2,22,32,8,0,4,9,0,0,2,0,4,0,2,0,1,6,5,0,0,1,4,1,1,11,1,0,0,4,2,13,7,15,22,4,11,0,0,0,1,17,4,1,4,8,91,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19433368814317148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21505452507282197,0.0,0.265224431206226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649824851204707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336447142581849,0.13204093839835715,0.0,0.14363222273259285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25101780947060515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1388937401006538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469421203295417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578555131815588,0.0,0.0,0.4881762123229109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20098095527770013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23267973075480464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24149424389871305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490666392894658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436225988059228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17953206528483684,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mrog17,2018/02/06,"Getting it together... I finally had a personnel revelation last night. I'm not in love with the woman who is divorcing me anymore. I'm still madly in love with the person that she used to be however. The woman she is now is self destructive, a liar, a cheater, has some very dark demons in her soul and likely doesn't love herself. How can I expect thugs person to love me? I had a feeling of euphoria when my mind hit this place last night. It was the best evening I've had in 2 months. I played with my kids, cleaned my house and slept well too. I guess what I'm getting at is that even though I didn't see a future without her in it, I'm starting to realize that it is there. I have a lot of healing too still go through but I feel like it id's starting to happen and I'm realizing that I am not the demon that she was trying to make me out to be. 

I was in a deep dark place for a long time. I've been thrown a rope and can finally start to climb out.

R/divorce, you've been there for me more than you'll ever know. Thank you.",1.6884234234234263,2.9623937882882925,3.465045045045045,92.18693693693692,77.33333333333333,6.915315315315317,23.594594594594607,7.594959193182576,0.8225837837837835,799,25,189,11,18,268,122,222,0.085,0.8370000000000001,0.079,-0.0608,1,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,2,0,2,14,13,3,0,14,0,23,6,1,3,1,27,49,8,0,1,4,0,2,2,0,1,1,0,1,6,13,9,0,0,5,1,0,2,5,3,1,0,10,3,25,10,26,35,4,32,3,0,1,4,20,12,0,3,20,125,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12617515263441045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351705181811652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16806467437783845,0.11508424725944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12865974649939332,0.09089110627200264,0.0,0.2787422630210922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13294187668961874,0.0,0.07230612518658755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14015505698241082,0.0,0.1125065546248198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468030571552772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06992071812498878,0.20741422722389727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12431352468611125,0.0,0.0,0.11259203020360666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816397906432404,0.4593099053336021,0.0,0.08492511512979893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12846316002899022,0.0,0.10155150277663484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23878813619209174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2221796919555196,0.26585059996827737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10138357185077236,0.0,0.13272567180231362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27015610935064005,0.0,0.20320754360654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11713367251623455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250000356336813,0.0,0.07418717829062185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0863788880885528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098834143126185,0.0,0.1049757287037464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143924933718844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12264243908790798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,disenchantress,2018/02/06,"If you were cheated on and tried to reconcile but ended up divorcing, how did you come to that decision? What regrets do you have now, if any? Would you have done anything differently?",4.461960784313725,6.837325588235295,5.141764705882356,78.38460784313726,72.52941176470588,9.239215686274509,31.92156862745098,9.725611199111238,3.4661098039215688,146,7,26,4,3,47,28,34,0.157,0.843,0.0,-0.7131,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,4,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,0,10,8,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,4,4,0,5,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,2,2,23,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2830888763615522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34256805492782383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.358593682179388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.434930454413365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4260052919595671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3687059937631481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2826309893794362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2957177572891214,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cabbagepulley,2018/02/06,"Divorced as of...oh, 2 1/2 hours ago. Just got back from divorce court and am at work now...maybe I should have taken the whole day off.  Somber mood...like a death in the family...but sad and glad at the same time.  Ring is in my pocket...along with the other lint of broken dreams...but that marriage was dead many years before...it was only until recently that I found I couldn't handle anymore...so I gave her a choice of counseling or I'm out...but too little, too late.  We parted as friends...so I guess have that going for me...otherwise...otherwise......meh.  ",0.263121212121213,2.668360281818188,1.7518181818181835,95.56439393939397,91.63636363636364,4.751515151515153,15.515151515151516,6.42735559955562,-0.3835939393939389,421,9,90,5,15,135,86,110,0.17,0.8,0.03,-0.9349,0,0,0,0,2,0,50.0,1,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,11,15,6,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,6,1,8,1,13,7,3,16,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,2,9,49,12,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22362745002544898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19398466975306744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626971478998694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766076095934999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433742628923604,0.0,0.20176816078498164,0.0,0.27791045272631176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2484410400792089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845783131728027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528468244432948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557682648433657,0.2534451473524334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918672638369399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731903208148669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24909211239885345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471041626976169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816571415411536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365993052984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16245747098176322
divorce,lwilli87,2018/02/06,"New to /r/divorce, Starting the divorce process I'm 26 years old, and I have just started the divorce process. I came here for advice and support. We were together for 7 1/2 years, and married for 2 1/2 of those years. We have lived together for the entire 7 1/2 years. My STBX was my best friend and support net. I am still very much in love with him, and I recently found out that he stopped loving me a long time ago. He cheated on me, and ever since I found out my emotions have been out of control. So, here are the details...

Around Christmas he had become very cold and distant. So much so that his family even noticed that something was off between us. I kept asking him why he was acting this way. He claimed his attitude was due to stress from work. But even after the holidays, the coldness continued. He stopped telling me he loved me. He stopped sleeping in bed with me. He stopped calling me when he got off work. He had no interest in spending time with me. I knew something was wrong. So I logged onto his computer and did a lot of snooping. I found receipts for online purchases being shipped to a woman just a couple hours away. He'd bought her shoes, clothing, and...bath bombs. I also found a receipt from Enterprise. He had rented a car to go see her, on a day that he told me he worked.

When I confronted him about it, he claimed they were just friends. He stayed at his parents' house for a few nights after the confrontation. But I begged him to come back. I was so lonely and depressed. I wanted to believe him, and I didn't want to throw away what we had over something he claimed was nothing. Multiple times after that, he told me he loved me too and that he wanted to make things work. So I tried my best to return things back to normal. To forgive and move on. He was still cold and distant, but I was still very emotional about everything. Deep down, I thing I knew that I shouldn't believe him.

Fast forward to last week. He told me he wanted to stay at his parents' house for a night because he wanted to be alone. I cried and begged him to come home, but he refused. He had the following day off work and he said he just wanted to be alone. I suspected he was lying. So the next morning I went to his parents' house. He wasn't there. According to his mother, he didn't return until nine that night. He wouldn't return my texts or call that day or the following day.

The next day, I sent the OW a Facebook message. I had wanted to do this from the beginning, but was too afraid. But I decided I had to know the truth. She responded to my message and confirmed that he did visit her the day before. She also told me she had no idea he was married and that they had sex. She messaged me again later and said that she was on the phone with my husband. My husband, the man I loved, told her that I was crazy. That we'd been ""on and off"" for a year. That he only told me he loved me so I wouldn't kill myself. He saw how emotionally destroyed I was, and decided that I was at risk for suicide?? And then told his girlfriend about it... The OW believed him of course, and decided that I was crazy and lying to her.

That day I came home from work and packed all his stuff. He came by and picked it up. He told me I was crazy. That I pressured him into getting married. He never wanted to be married, he said. I made the mistake of telling him I was going to try to get alimony, and he told me I was stupid.

We rented an apartment together, that I could never hope to afford on my own. And honestly, in the area we live in, I couldn't afford to rent anywhere at my current salary. My only option would be to move in with my mother (who lives 3 hours away). I would have to pick up my entire life, move to a city that I don't know, find a new job, make new friends, etc. That's why I'm trying to get alimony. When he came to pick up his stuff, he agree to pay 1/2 of the rent for another year. So I can ""get on my feet"". From your experience, is this fair? I know we weren't married for very long, and from what I've read, alimony for 1/2 the time you were married is typical. But I'll be honest...I'm angry, I'm hurt. I want as much as I can get for as long as I can get. He paid other bills besides 1/2 of rent. If anyone can give any advise, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm meeting with a lawyer on Wednesday.

",2.029314211212516,3.7954154372881375,3.235000000000003,92.07797588005215,77.67796610169492,6.120382442416341,24.227509778357238,6.955863796453363,0.7681447196870921,3342,114,728,35,78,1080,325,885,0.106,0.818,0.076,-0.9681,13,4,3,0,3,2,137.0,8,2,2,9,37,34,6,4,37,0,70,11,3,8,5,122,145,59,2,21,14,7,0,0,4,6,1,3,8,2,39,51,0,7,16,2,11,20,13,15,0,1,70,8,124,19,114,59,10,130,0,3,2,7,139,40,0,6,69,469,163,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04310369047340287,0.039100770990714684,0.0,0.0,0.09136912130738473,0.0,0.07054935315679614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029996249257044943,0.046253083354931564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030842672481992236,0.0,0.0,0.03926716894752828,0.04123680851311101,0.0,0.12432812850915348,0.06783559126449755,0.0,0.02688898980768421,0.04871592658601045,0.037534281888565085,0.1490902799639592,0.09258125176634016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09008229337186212,0.20179992973214586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07599355800131588,0.0,0.0,0.04947301128349474,0.03521817137085012,0.04880677295526748,0.04845266144257724,0.1991306856160052,0.0,0.0379917981424821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488531245545161,0.0,0.0,0.049194206074696586,0.058268354939407824,0.03989993609348204,0.0,0.0,0.0396431400613482,0.04314795293528904,0.0415828945051638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04031565575047249,0.0,0.0,0.19345694449896253,0.10223761385893183,0.0,0.1382736345862902,0.042314241997088116,0.05013735316195514,0.0,0.03527872203154602,0.04863132803332077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08849166616241047,0.04381109031083817,0.0868787459833453,0.15269073061629335,0.047220567594986086,0.049794715767108415,0.0,0.0,0.04377227628693362,0.0,0.04880107651269328,0.0,0.07272495370738714,0.03595546136064954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031156131699193082,0.0,0.0,0.11684956766145213,0.11710763853627605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03750066542603425,0.23886547863409802,0.04173786040259095,0.05888741069438819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14064555081552774,0.09727757067613653,0.0,0.06804055891779659,0.12780486873095648,0.09382277272033043,0.12418247849943632,0.04321834330148168,0.042324645281648636,0.05021942131707584,0.046285927163163695,0.0,0.0,0.06709514366907521,0.0,0.0,0.14693649453300628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044121843625899056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0435532115641105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258758674688483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035149884837457165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03648817077268182,0.0,0.04414176250586195,0.0,0.0,0.10187388394459357,0.0,0.0,0.062442438214004976,0.09403058340294156,0.10567868578924043,0.1475114289788846,0.05052774927477364,0.0,0.1009905803008156,0.048249078775786235,0.10011079915431838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710800563462315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791398634261112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028833656470309,0.0,0.0,0.37934015662780096,0.0,0.08984319392009371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05305878684138211,0.0,0.0,0.14558117088618722,0.2341544932216383,0.03501239091723965,0.03538230661344916,0.0,0.0,0.04089032557622198,0.07960466016563274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926752252373474,0.0,0.0,0.09400323677200703,0.04822725866075687,0.0,0.1704320029012282
divorce,chris5878,2018/02/06,"Financially It's Never Ending I'm just going to vent here, but in total, I think my divorce cost me close to $50K between legal fees, paying out the ex, fighting for child custody, etc.  Yesterday I had to claim bankruptcy and I'm constantly reminded about how screwed I was/am by the loans I am having to pay off. Plus I still owe the lawyer $3k and that balance never moves, even when I drop $500 a month towards him because he is doing title work for the house after the work. I just want to feel like my life is new and not be tied down to this divorce. I already have two jobs, work 70 hours a week and have a tennant renting out my basement to offset alimony and child support.",8.258085106382978,5.3336378936170235,8.555141843971636,75.58250000000002,63.680851063829785,11.102127659574473,37.68439716312057,8.841846274778883,3.166256737588652,537,20,110,6,6,179,100,141,0.087,0.8390000000000001,0.07400000000000001,-0.4215,3,0,0,0,4,0,16.0,0,0,0,3,8,4,2,0,8,0,9,2,0,1,3,20,17,9,0,1,4,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,2,3,9,0,0,2,0,7,2,3,2,0,1,1,1,13,2,20,15,2,22,0,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,13,72,16,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22310583016155447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12324438478229875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21848002696544885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17906759529363792,0.0,0.2254792651524966,0.13353509388314236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022260709538094,0.14443430725826564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490106711432045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19910226594520694,0.2332835272151304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006281121041695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428026233386426,0.09877279833704992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137465541111098,0.21488069412551514,0.0,0.0,0.3118606122447632,0.19526247895000096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145771569019396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294265039349363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954597733044626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974962088522396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924842211342078,0.0,0.16217309173537756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415587898058868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,beanmoe,2018/02/06,"Today I'm thankful ... for discovering my STBX was having an affair. It was a huge wake up call and a pull out of a deep depression I've been in for over 5 years. Looking back I can't believe how depressed I was - suicidal,  realizing after we got married that he didn't really love me and was a narcissistic parasite. I discovered the affair 12/5 and looking at everything to be finalized in court in 2 days- what a whirlwind of emotions and chaos. I've had to keep pretty much in control every step of the way to ensure he didn't walk away with anything- and everything has gone my way, including the house, no alimony payment, no risk to assets, not even a cash payment which I had offered him to just walk away. He's in a daze, a fog- doing stupid shit like coming over and taking a vase but leaving important stuff like clothing. I relish him waking up one day to his new reality. I'm waiting on outing his AP to her husband - that will be my last action, once he is completely out of my life and I will never have to see him again. It's all so surreal. Just two more days ...",4.731785714285714,5.3109183425925925,6.160476190476192,78.37500000000001,69.27777777777777,9.319576719576721,30.70634920634921,9.424239791934726,2.711184920634921,846,33,165,17,14,288,140,216,0.096,0.8170000000000001,0.086,-0.2597,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,1,0,0,1,7,10,2,1,13,0,19,5,3,2,2,23,32,10,1,0,4,1,0,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,7,12,0,3,1,0,1,7,7,6,0,2,11,3,18,4,31,17,3,38,0,2,3,1,17,17,1,0,14,112,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176767166783699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26870618864033824,0.1099580806939334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16111189548504706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14601886559897687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12318173435455924,0.14993265326127936,0.0,0.1603865246982656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2766692771168908,0.0,0.24633117382703595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085561749328833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09445007192976834,0.0,0.12048356624769915,0.0,0.25703814251902896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15664937851853628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11437006714655976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16500266173310935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710486359479387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11656398795925467,0.0,0.15141622513287614,0.0,0.0,0.10100504409648016,0.13972503611377005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401677671479688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1290629745882347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10512136541430896,0.0,0.1102903229481982,0.13811017497880893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229020495299125,0.09690041940394564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14548228711959213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09160938470735468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395238992668373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1467873216292265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16370064992499028,0.15641865865809812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10751811303887532,0.0,0.0,0.13165507666035886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554716549303278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969010384846428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2270132969434445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09208723414218456
divorce,Hoefauxsho,2018/02/06,"Hello, everyone, im going thru the divorce process Me and my stbx have been together for about 9 yrs. we were married for a little over 5. we moved in together after only 2 months of dating. we were best friends, then we got married. i thought, after getting married, things will get better in life. it sort of did. i have a great job due to her giving me support. and i really still do thank her for this.

i honestly dont think that i really ever did love her, we had a great life together. something happened in me that caused a trigger of emotions to over come me at one point in the last 2 years. i spent a lot of money and felt no guilt. went thru a lot of shit with her, and she still stuck by me, even though i really didnt love her. i wanted a divorce since she was bringing me down emotionally and basically to the point of suicide. i really hate depression and she was the cause of it. she would control me in all aspecks of my life. i could only play 30 mins of video games every other night. and all of our time had to be spent together and basically, besides work, i had no free time. i felt smothered. she wanted kids, i didnt. it was getting to the point that i couldnt even come home because i didnt want to leave the woman at work. to go home to my bitchy stbx. i fell hard for this woman, like no other woman i have before. and it came to the point that i would think about her more than my wife. so i wanted to wait until the weekend was over since her family was coming to town. we got home and sat on the couch and i had a look on my face she knew something was up. i couldnt hide it anymore, i had feelings for another woman. so i told her and she started to cry. honestly at this point, it felt like weight has been lifted off my shoulders. after she cries, she calls my mother. she explains to her what happened, and she hung up from my mom and then she told me to get out. so i packed up a suit case and then went to my best friends house. where for now im currently staying. we tried marriage counseling, the problem is i didnt want it to work. where we are at now in the process is, she first wanted to do this with out lawyers/attonernies. my parents told me to hire a lawyer. so i did and she did as well. we are going thru the mediation process on friday. the major assets, one, (depending on how you rank this... its a tie) Dog, and house, then 2 cars. then just random shit we have collected over the years. i just want this to be over. i know i seem like im being selfish and all of it, but there was so many years of emotional abuse brought on. anyways, probably will write back on here. sorry for the long typing, didnt go thru and read.

tl;dr married 5 yrs, no kids, dog/house/2 cars, i had feelings for a woman at work and was unhappy in life and wanted a change.  ",1.733640181309159,3.5235979029462783,3.2369800693240904,91.61850436608455,78.63604852686308,6.240887881615786,22.361318490867887,7.1686216300943375,0.6213514464738035,2158,65,475,26,52,709,235,577,0.08800000000000001,0.8270000000000001,0.085,-0.4386,3,0,2,0,3,1,81.0,11,1,0,10,25,27,4,1,28,0,49,11,4,6,4,84,105,36,1,14,3,4,7,3,2,4,4,0,4,7,23,39,1,2,12,5,4,16,12,8,1,3,45,8,84,20,85,50,9,87,0,1,1,2,62,39,2,6,34,334,107,9,0.0,0.07504780342786042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06641774358011646,0.0,0.0,0.06281647838029591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048704719549584434,0.0,0.03861161031083389,0.0,0.05389786213404354,0.0,0.13294330656741754,0.05601927744888055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06467744665116733,0.07244433784329607,0.0,0.13013570795530394,0.06700555432268833,0.16368597344118313,0.0,0.0,0.07104144284497775,0.050572011762332,0.0,0.1391525152506042,0.0,0.0,0.05455483881607821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07423426630180108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137476669802788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08367123608826765,0.05729485543664563,0.053366867331576834,0.06052429475459965,0.0,0.0,0.059711522437747536,0.0,0.06405343695371435,0.0,0.1824496332983868,0.0,0.0,0.053877158916263934,0.0,0.0,0.0978729939568666,0.0,0.1323706030632839,0.06076171080711192,0.14399082718628867,0.0,0.10131792061277148,0.1396656326883878,0.0,0.0,0.1120230950179044,0.0,0.056740395982037874,0.06253535404814063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.190606215818656,0.0,0.0,0.1461722197028021,0.0,0.0,0.20525492104853588,0.0,0.06285539495895237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03481012851364913,0.0516307333422732,0.0,0.06706814755052691,0.0,0.0,0.17895628278582304,0.09283449640575872,0.06348354067973429,0.0,0.05605410164686922,0.05318983229777799,0.0,0.0,0.10769918023571153,0.11433404333515113,0.0,0.0,0.06421704160817057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07418330032658026,0.05055755943595613,0.0673206299788154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0594405058420787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08584194488521414,0.09634618331252448,0.0,0.0,0.0703318186852211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2993849071290369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829147034812941,0.06060803641576268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335736092963645,0.0,0.16230946783078454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05766255754728785,0.0,0.0,0.1300356515549941,0.10479136932301784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09752479201470192,0.0,0.07090419073619998,0.04483253384417732,0.06751224701303557,0.10116716328973993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0692839203284235,0.07187773122938321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05831516470235725,0.0,0.0,0.042080427786131865,0.08117171103340573,0.06223144471772924,0.050285059640956586,0.07386838349529501,0.0,0.0,0.18157288426379892,0.0,0.04300385173180917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988776235417773,0.0,0.0,0.07713132420814188,0.05695046478432735,0.11743403734572533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18444973863839192,0.0,0.0,0.08999015017317685,0.0,0.0,0.12236707528961435
divorce,thownaway29,2018/02/06,"How to deal with the denial? He's started the divorce process (UK). Our house is going on the market. He's been very clear this is over. Why can't I stop hoping something will change his mind? Why do I want him to, anyway? 

How did any one else who was left deal with these emotions? One second I'm doing okay and the next I'm bogged down by sadness and regret and wanting him to come home. How can I stop this cycle? Any tips?",0.07949948927477024,2.3440358876404517,1.354218590398368,99.76430030643516,89.0,3.2363636363636368,15.95607763023493,3.1291,-1.2209640449438202,330,7,74,0,11,104,64,89,0.087,0.795,0.118,-0.2785,0,0,1,0,1,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,4,1,10,0,0,3,1,17,18,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,3,3,0,7,2,9,14,0,10,0,2,0,0,10,4,0,1,4,44,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572162241481529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000639253866819,0.16291016821120846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3899489130179991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15798552566305496,0.2127345895952592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10748127673055452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897028195410823,0.1878388716036037,0.0,0.2182191338601092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20547947629303087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19095732784915728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20113130754644165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563052664836773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14559384598937974,0.0,0.0,0.13386013736566196,0.0,0.0,0.3162256425420917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560438388543591,0.22309579847682967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34130283984741866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mrembo,2018/02/06,"Quick question about part of divorce decree. Please let me know if this is against the rules or anything. You guys have been so helpful so I thought I'd see if someone could help me out with a quick question regarding our final divorce decree. (We don't have much, and no children or property, so are doing it DIY, in TX)

We have been separated for a while and agree on everything. I've taken out a sum of money from our joint account into my own account (not a lot, I can share how much if relevant) and am wondering how to account for this on the final decree. That account was community property if I understand correctly but I don't even remember how much was in it when we split it up, and I don't even care. So do I need to figure out how much of it he kept or do I even need to list money at all? 

Thanks so much and again, apologies if this is against the rules but it seemed overkill to get a lawyer for this one question.",5.253100478468902,5.015361515789476,5.989521531100483,82.88528708133973,68.05263157894737,9.224880382775119,32.53588516746412,8.841846274778883,2.4624736842105266,728,29,154,11,11,239,104,190,0.028,0.901,0.071,0.7155,0,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,5,1,0,0,17,3,0,0,8,0,20,0,0,4,2,45,33,26,0,8,11,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,10,13,0,1,10,0,6,0,5,0,0,1,7,1,16,3,25,24,9,17,0,0,1,0,18,10,0,14,7,123,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119308472280159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867894867690875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859893905823928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269514910092386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224379585940087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2980011365076575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07106355152890734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346787507554448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18233938191263926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475168365516766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13908715167792013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563724976976307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999427169925541,0.2017105671349765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09216900629780513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14729374265703307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930641529141347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.457112326748372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15408135951078702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838837034357353,0.1238252613411828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11524722153905438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252266777015883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10798273466264728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415990576419561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750522166211572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,msninny,2018/02/06,"Eight Months Post Divorce Crazy whirlwind of a year... It's been eight months since the divorce was final and I moved out of our home into an apartment. 

I still miss the home, seeing the kids every day, having a partner and husband and family and having neighbor friends. 

I finally secured a full time job which helped my mental well being and anxiety meds helped too. I got my finances in order and now I'm closing escrow on a condo this week. It's pretty remarkable and I'm happy about that. But I'm remorseful that my old life is becoming more and more part of the past. I was pretty damn sure of myself that he was the problem contributing to my dissatisfaction. I found him intolerable and his family and friends too. 

I've been seeing someone and now I find him even more intolerable sometimes. And I was pretty confident that I'd love being single and that I'd be dating and having a great time. I look at dating profiles and cringe, yuck. I'm in my late 30s and there are still plenty of douche bags left in the sea. 

I've tried messaging my ex and telling him some heart to heart and apologies dba trying to bridge the gap, but it seems he's over it and has his life the way he wants it.  Either way it's still impossible to communicate with him on a heart to heart level. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have given up so easily, would've got more counseling, would've been more vulnerable and loving. Instead I pushed him away because I felt unloved and ignored and alienated. Childhood wounds and negative loops helped drive a wedge between us more. I wish I hadn't pushed him away constantly to validate that I'm unlovable. Ugh You'd think I'd learn my lesson after all these years...I'm still emotionally stunted. 

The guy I'm seeing says he loves me. I don't feel it or believe it. I push him away and give the cold shoulder when I get annoyed. I can't see myself in another committed relationship. I've lost faith in love. I was the one who wanted the divorce. I couldn't stand the stress and chaos of raising so many children together, one, often two of whom are extremely difficult. I just needed a break and some solitude. 

Now I've established my independence and it's even more isolating. It's hard to meet up with friends, go to the gym, do anything fun, money is extremely tight... I should get a counselor again but time doesn't seem to allow it. 

I'm getting very emotional and stressed because I'm boxing this week. It's hard doing it alone and the kids show the process down even more. Ugh wish me luck...",3.7341635523210073,5.616658868951613,4.544177812745872,84.03016915814321,73.21370967741936,7.580959874114871,26.412077104642016,8.331364938255728,1.7595468725413057,2013,71,390,34,41,648,252,496,0.128,0.722,0.15,0.934,1,2,0,0,3,0,55.0,2,1,0,2,26,28,2,2,26,0,31,12,5,2,3,71,70,37,0,11,7,2,5,0,5,2,3,1,4,5,25,34,0,3,9,2,2,6,7,13,1,5,15,12,47,15,38,47,15,64,1,2,5,4,46,22,1,8,30,243,72,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437791492495954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07530351281844087,0.054937712049569216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05909701670066642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20241558269830628,0.05522073282264714,0.0,0.0875546122242241,0.07931320759701795,0.0,0.08091007844974947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760570217250712,0.0,0.057337842731820673,0.0,0.0,0.046314256413261375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156275228817935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229792355955415,0.0,0.06050661105847194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13540018533980006,0.0,0.036311447443941935,0.0,0.06895295122069355,0.15733802233387045,0.06563693227309703,0.0,0.0,0.07874062896577019,0.16645055653207647,0.0,0.11255995989087847,0.06889078161943975,0.04081369870568245,0.0,0.11487284756065833,0.07917547476420325,0.0,0.07110740765149211,0.0,0.0764476147525414,0.1286629417334177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34040097371565625,0.14440675334292452,0.0,0.14407111556327784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07126457155669808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100961286703147,0.0,0.0780264032092682,0.0,0.1014490707475426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060305891202325324,0.0,0.07839374769237932,0.0,0.2592606925132048,0.0,0.0,0.07280838756694698,0.0,0.0,0.07976945307846586,0.0,0.07237188280881662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464291377084247,0.07632719284478816,0.0,0.05324936355745258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535698501866665,0.0,0.09732640178036417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777678449263771,0.06855483676581095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877820942675693,0.21918275919584693,0.0,0.06871654773441059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710163910185162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710958166786712,0.0,0.0,0.2289066683933373,0.1307540096169784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059405497670657316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060847989134975376,0.0,0.07102613905591543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2294038420141365,0.0,0.16452598353290962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0676840898105928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06276882825469147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046015677835589366,0.0,0.0,0.16750188921144618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09751433654840654,0.07811329248924181,0.07015209663449012,0.0,0.08638371207343376,0.0,0.0,0.059254285189090886,0.0847158219413719,0.11400563322486072,0.11521013460512534,0.0,0.06456964394958206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516570885608653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202957917299604,0.0,0.0,0.04624602867611419
divorce,Kcben85941,2018/02/07,"It's over! Divorce process started this past October and finally over as of this afternoon. Read a lot of posts on this subreddit in the beginning to cope with my wife leaving me, and I wanted to come back and say that it DOES get better.

If you're reading this, Jess, good luck in life.",4.369736842105265,5.4359890877193,5.0797807017543875,84.02388157894737,70.40350877192985,9.208771929824564,31.793859649122812,9.516144504307137,2.8414596491228066,226,10,46,5,4,73,47,57,0.0,0.846,0.154,0.8439,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,9,5,5,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,7,5,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,11,5,1,13,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,3,6,29,10,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20046866779518768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305753944357104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22457720275688312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2281476785927617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855933099629633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13620937917693304,0.0,0.0,0.21866983752746275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760525533312496,0.0,0.0,0.18414605368546325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216449595044544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2488756685192405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24968658169392666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.521557904779742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20732578453943404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845307480823299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377256962801605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,katat25,2018/02/07,Idaho divorce question I am asking this question for my ex-husband who is the father of my child and currently going through his second divorce. The divorce is in Idaho. His divorce is getting ugly and his STBX took their dog and is now threatening to sell her. This dog is like a second child to him. And now because the dog is gone our child is crying almost every night because he misses the dog. Ex husband asked his attorney about including getting the dog back in the divorce paperwork but she basically blew him off. I suggested taking it to small claims court. Does anyone have another suggestion? My poor kid has been through enough and if I can help in getting the dog back I would really like to. Thank you! ,4.7325858585858604,6.788635955555558,5.279326599326602,79.07151515151516,70.92592592592592,7.872053872053872,30.79124579124579,8.575989854853784,2.6626296296296297,574,25,97,10,11,184,81,135,0.083,0.831,0.086,0.3585,1,0,0,0,5,0,11.0,1,1,1,0,5,4,0,0,8,0,13,0,0,0,0,11,24,7,0,2,2,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,5,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,1,0,2,3,0,18,3,13,20,1,14,0,1,0,0,32,5,0,4,8,70,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915272079569643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005611064399147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373898710890442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35761939925065034,0.0,0.0,0.2941464709630616,0.0,0.23319031535681345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21009884496372225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16737985854487394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763090563614466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1611514842617666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997888046866606,0.0,0.10870197503339353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820286484147606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688770310775046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949199982464406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4285277210644601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12253113663274652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438096832693151,0.0,0.0,0.17609381656910125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21250571305716315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587125303086656,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,crrazynuts,2018/02/07,"Time heals - it's true I'm in the same boat as many of you here. Gave my all but wasn't appreciated. Final straw was the emotional affair(maybe more, she'll never admit it but I don't care anymore) and the lies that came after to ""protect me from being hurt"". Felt like was hit by a train and fell into massive depression. How can someone betray a good father of their children and someone you have slept next to for the past 10 years is beyond me. Anyway to cut it short, the cliche is true. Time heals! This sub heals! Antidepressants heal!

We're seperated now (in same house pending divorce) but I feel a whole lot better. My heart goes soft for her still sometimes but now I know I wouldn't take her back even if she wanted me to. Today, I am starting tapering off the antidepressants I have been taking the past 6 months. I'm a bit paranoid but READY. Wish me luck :)",1.3683194905869307,3.9352736337209313,2.4914950166112995,91.78794573643414,85.91860465116278,5.1366555924695465,19.236987818383167,6.655083550727371,0.1845638981173865,683,19,139,8,21,217,119,172,0.14300000000000002,0.6659999999999999,0.191,0.8640000000000001,0,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,0,2,1,1,9,10,1,0,11,0,14,6,2,1,4,27,30,11,0,4,6,1,3,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,4,0,0,2,4,3,0,0,8,3,19,7,17,18,7,24,0,2,0,0,12,6,0,3,17,89,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205421697802372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256486417776954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451876922633425,0.17839634051659578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18689220959844985,0.1666026633342521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14074080423895616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18380904552710395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792770462058254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08262266397236777,0.0,0.15689477890975415,0.17900259373352367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370566701782341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363614814993896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885478557431164,0.17492882634862678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08980331697412186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07983160900608215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13892140066027575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656673959252319,0.16416265558777526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042860596406408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12602829362070755,0.0,0.17378346293410532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31197782740699376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2769056765062727,0.0,0.16161208746997005,0.0,0.11565916069465397,0.0,0.13049573816883428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2457210017595505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19056596860287112,0.0,0.1548891826188061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09638071988469672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824362581160847,0.1879081091939655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522769970164167
divorce,AndrewFGleich,2018/02/07,"I feel like such a failure Forgive me if this is a little short, but the marriage isn't over. It's just collapsing around me/us.

So we've been been married 2 years or 2 months depending on who you ask. The relationship has been really complicated, even from the beginning. There's no single thing that's driven us apart, I think we just have deep compatibly issues.

The ""worst"" part is that, time and again, she seems to think we can work it out even when there are serious issues. This just makes me feel even worse that I seem like the only one considering divorce.

Even the marriage counselor suggesting the idea seemed to upset her",4.988585858585856,6.5869570413223135,5.159118457300277,82.02029384756659,69.49586776859505,8.68356290174472,26.66758494031221,9.150863307647796,2.065721028466483,506,16,97,10,9,159,84,121,0.13699999999999998,0.809,0.054000000000000006,-0.8807,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,3,1,0,2,14,6,0,1,9,0,10,0,0,2,0,22,21,6,0,1,6,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,9,0,0,1,2,3,0,1,4,2,11,3,7,17,3,15,0,0,0,0,14,8,0,6,8,68,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14026472267750276,0.147300395348743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162762361285429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15933745509663827,0.1125632372077407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17786976207048866,0.0,0.3289102517862441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539549174976144,0.1579197978047953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517471149094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12576550517099372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676895486841438,0.11983397290909648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062567552627622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009390704550913,0.0,0.0,0.1691639940439513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4303190715864708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10467804058141653,0.20192037269207894,0.0,0.0,0.09187641442837756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3790584460955725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147079428740052,0.0,0.1605704411780332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146558504661812
divorce,FB_is_dead,2018/02/07,"STBXW filed restraining order My wife and her lawyer thought that they would be cute and file a restraining order on me to make me not look like the primary parent anymore. 

She won't let me see the kid unless its supervised (by her mother), she filed a lot of false allegations on me in the restraining order and I agreed to a continuance for 30 days until temporary orders hearing. It gets dismissed that day. I would rather live to fight another day in divorce court than get a permanent restraining order. 

I really care about and love my kid and I have heard that things like this typically backfire on parents that do it. 

Anyone else have an experience like this? I am in Colorado, so... ",5.137906976744186,7.020320813953488,5.7231705426356605,77.00661627906976,69.54263565891472,9.50108527131783,29.17906976744186,9.888512548439397,3.0090893023255814,551,21,98,14,10,178,86,129,0.067,0.836,0.096,0.7062,2,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,0,0,1,0,3,7,1,0,8,0,9,1,0,1,0,17,19,8,0,3,3,4,0,3,0,3,0,2,0,2,10,5,0,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,4,16,6,16,12,1,16,0,0,2,1,16,6,0,1,8,68,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763436552761632,0.0,0.0,0.18691834711900104,0.13178736562012766,0.1931167617274056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192164665855532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3646558442706562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744818726761772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436648291625912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19694270492164007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21242705934314726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273030464958804,0.0,0.2762407424169186,0.0,0.16642847346150752,0.0,0.15827304861706706,0.0,0.0,0.16023624114882884,0.1701076767648146,0.0,0.12580973208685234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4185623784550933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207430686619462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019161284690766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521561556229344,0.0,0.0,0.149629531537322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677770317770186,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,protocolunease,2018/02/07,"Determining house buyout amount. My wife and I are getting divorced.  I intend to stay in the house and buy out her share.  I assumed I'd only have to give her her share(half) of the equity, but she says it's half the value(I don't know if she means assessed or market or what).  If that's the case I can't do it and we'll have to sell, because the equity is far less than the (market) value.  Is she right?",1.226382352941176,3.0661974470588262,2.99139705882353,92.54003676470587,80.41176470588233,5.661764705882352,20.036764705882355,6.6274283507984215,0.11220588235294128,313,8,70,3,8,104,57,85,0.0,0.94,0.06,0.5719,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,6,0,9,0,0,1,0,13,13,8,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,12,1,7,12,2,5,0,0,0,0,12,4,0,5,0,47,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18010939592639996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543654173201618,0.28343171757985114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6818412902221204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623768386824966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32184206081457434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247102974537689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2523208365771968,0.0,0.2349612886061779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31492056221596965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ochottubthrowaway,2018/02/07,House buyout When in the divorce process do I buyout my spouse. We've agreed on the amount. ,0.6716666666666669,3.1140450555555566,0.5166666666666693,102.04500000000002,98.44444444444444,2.4000000000000004,17.11111111111111,3.1291,-1.1556888888888883,73,2,15,0,3,21,16,18,0.0,0.877,0.123,0.2732,0,0,0,0,1,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,8,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,WrtngTchr,2018/02/07,"STBX moved her new partner into the home with our children. She asked for a divorce last March. I moved out of the house in May. We were using the collaborative divorce process (all negotiations and agreements are made in meetings between the divorcing parties and their respective lawyers rather than in traditional court proceedings). Although there were some disagreements, I thought we were doing a good job of keeping things amicable and avoiding the typical pitfalls that people fall into of bad-mouthing one another and turning the kids against the other spouse. Things were slowly moving toward completion. On Jan 1, she notified me that she had been dating someone since August and that he would now be living in the house with her and our two boys. He is still married; he moved directly out of his house and into hers (the house we lived in together). I was devastated, primarily because I genuinely thought she was incapable of doing such a reckless and hurtful thing. I always thought she was a good person and a fantastic mother. Now, I literally can't understand how she can't see that this decision is not good for our kids. She sees nothing wrong with her actions, and there's nothing I can do about any of it. I'm managing with the support of many great friends and family, but I feel like our 20 years of marriage are now a lie because I have no idea who she really is. I'm not sure it would have made any difference if she had at least waited until we were actually divorced, but I can't help but feel that it's worse because she didn't even wait until things were final. Am I wrong in thinking that her actions have the potential to harm our kids' emotional well-being? Although lots of websites suggest that there are risks associated with exposing your kids to your new partner after a divorce, I can't find any research that provides specifics as to what those risks are and how to determine when it's acceptable to expose your children to your new romantic interest. I need help processing all of this. I'm interested in any thoughts, feedback, or suggestions you might have.",9.988444444444447,8.687238997402602,9.149069264069263,67.56423881673885,59.02597402597402,12.503607503607507,42.94733044733045,11.429527900616536,4.978079365079365,1694,83,286,38,18,535,208,385,0.103,0.787,0.109,0.1258,1,1,0,0,4,0,35.0,9,5,1,0,14,20,0,3,18,0,38,0,0,5,3,65,61,25,0,5,8,2,2,1,3,4,0,0,1,10,22,26,0,4,12,0,0,7,8,7,0,2,19,4,45,13,46,37,5,40,0,1,2,0,60,15,0,6,19,211,67,5,0.0,0.0,0.08233134783475278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07020123306853629,0.0,0.0,0.22949350819256398,0.08846758033717611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887302651777547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044405546771393,0.15429050520216928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845861894926799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08814697797912607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949030478963898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572450524174122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07953498001546022,0.0,0.08531835431505687,0.06027277233162257,0.0,0.09242141309180353,0.07711115141409447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518278466713208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21229252940971274,0.0,0.09301641334215298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131006648910491,0.0,0.08462834277791903,0.0,0.0,0.3893990338296381,0.09031807296434168,0.09524160765000814,0.0,0.0,0.0837225777844816,0.07499047372780826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877147285672458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04121811846323364,0.0,0.14899761291051494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172696154799205,0.0,0.1596627619366856,0.0,0.08553627361088756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895014959873685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586808536376185,0.0,0.06255806896791685,0.0,0.2444504597709726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16190743125009438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717018334318736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058490396973724004,0.07366719660045573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0540485309753241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13446131739317566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979037817691035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07148503656307262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06737668026182883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574021367225527,0.07951617964097042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22420235467962168,0.05405983762676084,0.0,0.2679162111660656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917685473100671,0.08241562727354307,0.08783043684399537,0.0,0.07286717353913318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07585728672744779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597856533257428,0.11986572278531035,0.18448711180061803,0.0,0.054330456894403766
divorce,MagicalWaffle_,2018/02/07,Scared to move out & live my own? I’ve never had my own place since 20 years ago. I don’t even know where to start. I feel so indequate. I just got a raise at my job & a good amount of savings. I guess I’m scared to make the next move. Anyone ever feel like this? How’d you get out of feeling this way & take action?,-0.7720833333333346,1.0828759583333358,1.1950000000000005,102.52500000000002,88.02777777777777,4.155555555555557,13.166666666666668,5.148860815047168,-1.5131166666666664,247,3,65,1,8,81,53,72,0.083,0.812,0.106,0.163,1,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,1,0,0,5,5,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,1,2,12,13,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,2,0,0,2,3,8,3,8,11,3,15,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,1,7,31,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14851049709809586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5445753440184073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11714502057317892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11065590444744294,0.15154584406615476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25413360661733025,0.11968770484326526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753061081091774,0.0,0.0,0.1405211928896623,0.13399379125119096,0.0,0.18455971965178944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662535634407675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09207336797429448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08184959486646932,0.0,0.14793729926894775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111831536993479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35612836843566203,0.0,0.0,0.1292140406913439,0.0,0.1781763666389953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750393929972962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3354653939598492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13858745601047148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11858279650522972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596617238837013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329822263849196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788764872136897
divorce,hball666,2018/02/07,"I had my rebound and now I feel stupid and more lonely than ever I got separated last July and am still working through things. My ex and I get on very well as friends now and it was a very mutual event with no wrong doing on any side (we just didn't want to be married any more) so i can't really complain about that, as hard as it has been.

But I was always rubbish at being single, and the lack of affection I got in my marriage, all kinds of affection!, means i'm actively looking for it now. And this led me to strike up a relationship with a beautiful woman who was, and is still, utterly wrong with me.

I know now it was a complete rebound situation - which I didn't think it was for a long time, or perhaps I was trying to kid myself - but after the last week where everything went completely wrong in that relationship I can see now I was using her as a replacement for everything I felt was missing from my marriage, and then transposing the feelings I had for me wife onto this new woman.  The end result being she doesn't want that kind of attention (which I totally understand as well) and I am left with feelings of love (although I know it isn't really love!), lust (for sure!) and stupidity for falling into the cliched trap of getting a rebound relationship within six months of separating.

Problem is, as much as I know she's not the right woman for me in either a short-term relationship, or a long term one, i still have strong feelings for her that are difficult to shake.  I just wish I would be able to 'do the right thing' which is stop seeing her, because i'm putting too much into the relationship and getting nothing back. But at the same time the attention, affection, what little she does give me, is too nice to quit.

Are all rebounds like this?  Are they always wrong in every situation? Because I feel like I have been so stupid and naive.",7.067316652286454,6.214778639344268,7.5270031636468255,75.40748490077655,64.51912568306011,10.874662064998565,34.290480299108424,10.186864033877496,3.2638601092896167,1466,55,287,29,19,484,178,366,0.146,0.7490000000000001,0.105,-0.8778,0,2,0,0,0,0,42.0,1,0,1,3,20,25,3,1,19,0,37,3,0,6,5,62,68,29,0,6,9,2,7,2,1,1,0,0,0,4,20,20,0,1,14,0,0,5,7,13,2,2,18,10,41,12,49,45,12,49,0,2,3,3,27,19,0,2,27,220,61,1,0.08238755047961159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710608385619882,0.0,0.0,0.1120527190312463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06335094083882832,0.0,0.10044537215754908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17276355837825955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07209790062461335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07297091580439369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07452425618508933,0.06941506462498809,0.0,0.14808923598230586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20828810495701755,0.058857682524445475,0.0791049685536457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06365241712939257,0.0,0.12913228411455374,0.07903364565498637,0.0,0.0,0.1317857007290284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07380306266562714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715879113733404,0.13583412936903036,0.13431369952153147,0.0,0.0,0.08951431465881726,0.0,0.0,0.08050079121683835,0.08257396956668267,0.0,0.14582077917887454,0.06918479256806408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14871596186515762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897441952103454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657609567697456,0.0,0.12112865847113975,0.0,0.0,0.07957040964253094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905307668971133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05582793641155013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788337591272568,0.0,0.0828222438261433,0.0,0.08762930121910918,0.0,0.0,0.10555914898207723,0.0,0.0,0.4422669826752896,0.0,0.1407170359033208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13130442196026296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18521411728426368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197384412712066,0.06887968127126166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776492913104238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946925537422887,0.05279061568385144,0.0,0.0,0.09608168645558388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05593573871480866,0.0,0.0,0.08576834560229818,0.0,0.07115639119805059,0.0,0.13595671493593955,0.09718862372140637,0.0,0.06608632345430784,0.0,0.1481526044564395,0.0763740847001477,0.0,0.0,0.09474161710195404,0.0,0.0,0.05997911798014766,0.0,0.0,0.058525752046413825,0.3603114121404257,0.0,0.0
divorce,Defconwhite,2018/02/07,What's it like after a SAHM leaves? Is there anything I should know going into this? Our child is a minor. I'm just looking for any type of guidance anyone can offer. My husband has supported me solely for 7 years. ,1.3813953488372093,3.867996441860466,3.1314418604651166,87.92925581395347,84.5813953488372,4.370232558139535,20.227906976744187,5.6839178017228535,0.16361767441860442,169,5,31,1,5,56,39,43,0.0,0.872,0.128,0.6322,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,5,9,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,3,21,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771373084903364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28495746801746497,0.0,0.33536601627615525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23161114229757124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22397020105011975,0.0,0.0,0.4315199952525524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991006804837635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422261836489457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4624651100658586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2624387367006693
divorce,tewksburyketsup,2018/02/07,"finally getting to take deep, peaceful breaths Five months after we broke our marriage off, I'm finally getting back to normal after a serious major depression.

Just want to reaffirm that time is the great healer. I get under the covers to go to bed and take a really nice deep breath, and there is nothing more pleasurable. Today I went for a nice drive and had coffee at a cool spot, and I was really relaxed and actually felt creative and mellow, at peace.

Just want to let people know that time is the great healer. Let time go by, and things will get improve, and you'll be waking up refreshed and happy there's a new day.",6.558890200708383,6.6386587024793435,6.94977567886659,76.02388429752071,65.28099173553719,9.558913813459268,31.33530106257379,9.23628265651192,2.7115350649350645,497,17,89,8,7,162,78,121,0.076,0.6509999999999999,0.273,0.9802,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,1,0,0,5,11,0,0,8,1,10,5,3,0,0,17,24,9,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,10,0,0,2,1,0,4,0,3,0,1,4,2,6,8,15,15,2,23,0,2,0,0,4,7,0,0,12,57,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.15616693323085062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305377332502652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032065986646466,0.0,0.13783425572592845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365462202129626,0.35061174211255125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3344378601269532,0.0,0.1818983331936239,0.0,0.0,0.3528689470973441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035571561882848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08794871838185488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272845810372616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12773502272947151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545587014475758,0.0,0.0,0.15679616322256568,0.15355382652280095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109451765222511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20503960034736984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406464250144063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10631732345657252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2799456624299684,0.0,0.15169044486923058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878057239293908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483501141760181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Always_Listless,2018/02/07,"Don’t do it. I mean, make sure divorce is really, really what you want.

I was the cause for my divorce. I was selfish and self-absorbed, inconsiderate, and reckless.

It wrecked my family, messed up my kids, ruined everything.

Eventually I got remarried and started a new family.

I regret it every day. Every day. My husband is nothing like my ex. We fight all the time. It’s dysfunctional and awful and I can’t divorce because I am so traumatized by the mistake of my first separation that I can’t bear to go through it again.

Don’t do it.",1.5381758241758234,4.1674101142857145,4.1923809523809545,79.39120879120881,85.95238095238096,7.421245421245422,27.124542124542128,8.384062270229773,2.543937728937729,422,20,78,11,13,148,67,105,0.275,0.691,0.035,-0.977,0,0,0,0,4,0,19.0,1,1,0,1,2,8,1,0,4,1,11,0,0,2,2,14,17,6,0,3,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,8,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,6,0,1,3,0,16,2,6,14,1,9,0,2,0,0,9,1,0,0,8,54,24,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13460267015245345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268309147423576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848061305273227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3720809768188527,0.0,0.1984482326651129,0.0,0.4163167655679873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18781939919046514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254904267182088,0.0,0.17660054241439915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10787576584589573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473912328897463,0.0,0.0,0.2405249350273356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21325800030308803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21187148750888676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829108600388689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303511790730399,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628922794326675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2081091785778849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875507623573906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13023843687715575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,doctorgainzphd,2018/02/07,"I'm the bad guy, and we're divorcing, and it still hurts. Well, I found out today that I am getting divorced. I'm not surprised - this is from a second infidelity, a series of lying and cheating, which, frankly amounts to abuse. I am in the wrong. I know it. It's mine to own. It doesn't make it easy. I love this woman. I will probably always love her and always hate a part of myself for destroying what we had. We were an amazing team. We were so in love. I ruined. ME. She is the victim.

I could go on and on about how I got here - why I did these things, the childhood traumas, the need for escape, the lying, the inability to be honest with even myself. I guess the silver lining is that everything is laid bare - it's all right in front of me, plain as day. I am committed to fixing myself. I want to be a better man. We all have flaws, but mine were inexcusable.

We have three children together, and we were together almost 13 years. I am heartbroken. I have alienated most people and I have few people in my life now. I will suffer a punishment of my own creation. I don't know if anyone else is out there, but I guess I'd provide a somewhat different perspective. This sucks for all of us - just a goddamn avalanche of broken hearts. I am gutted to my soul. My brain knows there will be good days again, but they are long off. Time to hold on for dear life. For the kids.",0.8071169354838723,3.123816964157712,2.613179883512548,91.8564364919355,85.45161290322581,5.638037634408603,19.47143817204301,7.04035,0.3689040322580639,1059,30,226,15,32,350,159,279,0.194,0.706,0.1,-0.9813,1,0,0,0,2,0,48.0,7,0,1,2,12,22,6,0,17,0,30,8,3,2,4,41,49,14,0,4,6,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,15,16,0,1,4,1,0,2,3,12,1,2,8,0,41,10,32,34,10,23,1,3,0,3,21,11,1,6,10,169,56,1,0.0,0.1620913053337353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1369902354938996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22766508850091602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09565708984219667,0.14017267391048888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422628507652592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209927191842476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527193893881867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10922749268456652,0.0,0.0,0.1764555435833716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293188784243996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11428284740407064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0903582733735256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12295132377679815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14999939070891738,0.0,0.0,0.07147485621936323,0.0,0.07774931466563523,0.11474536695806145,0.10941528769466413,0.0,0.30141179877045404,0.13545825024144953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13506640706565165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16211433450787907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464523568594902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255530040277421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932585375554016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106793390674925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3704149918143753,0.0,0.09131825944486976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143901813037022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814625573759585,0.0,0.18968643172515476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749870171122156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168305429324232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10925248178854394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088702343450533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07977197304085487,0.0,0.12967494449060088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645593177039829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069100946688522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12300393555326368,0.0,0.12344504409868184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957456158341598,0.0,0.08809779925862443
divorce,GeekFreak96,2018/02/07,"Child support in CT with 50/50 and $20k difference income? I really don't understand child support when you have 50/50 custody.  Why does it exist at all? I will pay my share when the kids are with me, she should pay her share when they are with her.  I make $20k year more. But I thought we would simply split any kids' shared expenses such as daycare, healthcare, and clothes until they are 18.
Perhaps agree on a list of items that would be split 50/50 as they come up.
Being the one that would pay CS, are there any contingencies? What if my income drops significantly? What if I become sick, disabled, etc. I just can't understand paying for what would very likely be more about my STBXW's lifestyle...and not the childrens' well being.  

Does this vary by state? If so how is it handled in CT?

Oh, one other thing. There is a collaborative option where we each have our own lawyer, but keep it out if full blown court. Each lawyer still has a $3-$5k retainer. Yikes.

Just starting the process and trying to keep it amicable but still be able to take care of my kids and myself.

Thanks for listening.",3.087688679245286,5.39884465566038,3.2940000000000005,90.32600000000002,76.5,6.315471698113207,21.92075471698113,7.365786028017652,0.6549143396226413,865,24,176,11,20,265,133,212,0.034,0.873,0.093,0.9232,2,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,3,1,3,0,15,9,0,0,7,0,22,1,0,2,1,38,36,19,0,9,10,0,0,1,0,6,1,1,0,6,12,13,0,3,3,0,5,1,3,0,1,2,1,1,22,9,20,24,9,19,0,0,0,0,20,8,0,5,9,120,34,6,0.15141612202566854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059363105150439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167227210616816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15437882776070516,0.0,0.0,0.13043158182540482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581976202380458,0.0,0.0,0.26501053751980536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16886900110287004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2691712128139502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739742688979939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107143721759043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20520696592926288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700104500103646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10717311050427128,0.0,0.24184222128375474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3436504418250043,0.0,0.0,0.1138460797944118,0.0,0.0,0.1394036217636674,0.0,0.0,0.1005941433706372,0.0,0.0,0.12020748754342475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280160764014153,0.0,0.0,0.3152590460101398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493415825030313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13614127804630058,0.0,0.1366294988569621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43024667498504304,0.0,0.0,0.09750701821196588
divorce,meg0001,2018/02/07,"Divorce is over, but I'm having a hard time. I'm 4 months divorced, and the married woman that my ex left me for is 4 months pregnant. It was an uncontested divorce, and he made things very easy for me in that regard - but it hurts so much that he moved on so quickly and in such a serious way. 

I know our marriage was over long before our divorce was final, and I don't want to be in a relationship right now, but it just seems crazy to me that they're having a baby together, when she's still married to another man - and the ink is barely dry on our divorce paperwork. 

We have a son that he gave me full custody of, and he and his new girlfriend are naming their baby one of the baby names that he and I had picked out if our son had been a girl. They even registered for the bedding that we picked out. 

I know I shouldn't be looking at any of their private information online, like their registry, but it's so hard not to obsess over it. ",8.486423076923078,5.1177210974359015,8.620865384615385,76.66975961538462,63.66666666666666,11.391025641025644,36.68269230769232,8.841846274778883,2.941115384615385,734,24,158,8,8,243,110,195,0.07,0.879,0.051,-0.149,0,0,0,0,5,0,18.0,6,0,4,0,10,4,0,1,11,0,17,0,0,3,0,30,26,17,0,3,7,3,2,1,1,1,0,0,1,3,13,12,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,3,0,1,8,3,22,1,21,15,2,26,0,1,1,0,35,14,0,2,11,111,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686298434041733,0.21103755235049154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17125653912003685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329296353233411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22046933723439596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3605769675991135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21545186359525773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212133060396776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2186684330609881,0.0,0.0,0.09832495474410632,0.0,0.0,0.17810783343597889,0.1690068257816672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19043608038230705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212859402038714,0.21390640825195906,0.14794848202557687,0.0,0.0,0.19437714359844352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637827003057626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21607678830994814,0.0,0.17187403971781987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1832185851416372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072565377921694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370750048343194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11735570954868604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660597075030667,0.11870774044082208,0.1597499830316722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sprinklesplz,2018/02/07,resources for Queens nyc does anyone have an online resource they can point me in the direction of so i can find a lawyer to file my divorce for me?  it would be uncontested.  i heard that it would cost close to 4k if done right?  for real?? geez....only have 2k saved up.  ,0.4821428571428577,2.9032366851851883,1.840793650793653,95.605,89.55555555555556,4.567195767195766,16.973544973544975,6.18269132825596,-0.3925788359788358,207,5,45,2,7,66,45,54,0.0,0.929,0.071,0.5803,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,8,0,0,0,0,7,9,2,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,6,1,8,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,1,0,30,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24607235832599497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30796970590834005,0.3601388492851369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32165074196374965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3326804648558273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005647915830221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30053984781801296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4999912199841578,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,-JDubbs-,2018/02/07,"Ex said she is serving me today After about 6 months of separation and having a parenting plan already set, printed and signed. Schools have copies and her and I do as well. She decided to serve me papers with different custody arrangements. I spoke with my lawyer and he said that I should just let her serve me the paperwork and then bring it in to look it over. Lawyer says the signed custody can most likely hold up because we have been following it. I also have been paying her to watch my youngest for half a day instead of daycare. Yes instead of spending time with my youngest on my day she wanted babysitter money on top of child support and everything else.

She wanted this amicable and then decided out of the blue because when she came and got the kids one day I told her to get back in her car and I will send them out. Mind you she was 7 hours late for her pickup. 

What sucks the most is I was getting over her and the lies of reconciling and moving on and then I feel like I curb stomped. You go from peaceful to this and the sad part is she can't afford a lawyer so I have no idea why she would not ask to change the custody agreement which I have told her to send me her plan and we can go over it.

I will update Friday or Saturday on what my lawyer says in case anyone else is going through something like this. I would hate for anyone else to be stabbed in the back like I was today. I gave a little trust and was given none in return.",3.9454081632653057,5.025237554421771,4.3591156462585054,88.74540816326531,71.41496598639456,7.2326530612244895,26.244897959183675,7.447530270364453,1.1521265306122443,1147,36,242,12,21,361,154,294,0.058,0.8540000000000001,0.087,0.7736,3,0,1,0,0,0,15.0,2,2,1,3,10,11,2,0,13,1,27,0,0,0,0,44,51,24,0,5,3,2,1,4,0,5,0,5,0,2,11,24,0,2,5,0,3,10,4,3,1,2,15,9,46,8,40,29,4,47,0,1,3,0,38,17,1,3,23,174,57,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310733615523184,0.09498591563522278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610326560064892,0.24340212443130715,0.0,0.0,0.11104045152013917,0.0,0.0,0.18266434660554545,0.0,0.14481070077071395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584923350133504,0.0,0.0,0.12565030568378127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298039962658865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12409667369277437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976688009316224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674909942869687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06005721476887942,0.0848543050717801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411214940741346,0.0,0.20251110114491855,0.0,0.09499680903265943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726768671073813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697140891040235,0.0,0.0,0.1340847636241957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13398561778100587,0.0,0.0,0.1214575192085606,0.0,0.2321137497588768,0.11904574737017627,0.0,0.0,0.0997427564780532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11993089993825493,0.0,0.09480665986525276,0.12624114256150082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048636209599462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188779059323444,0.12862390495632944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259682334499141,0.1889124589088875,0.0,0.1202086546317991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914403294791133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13478672017747326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06925981778952184,0.0,0.22517339574102446,0.2269930071942015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011549169197185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10679477815410232,0.0,0.10717775849564933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16875153100495086,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Notreallyme5678,2018/02/08,"Divorce was finalized today Not sure how to feel. I’m kind of a mixed bag of emotions at the moment. We were married for 7 together for 13, and have two small children. Is it normal to feel sad even though I was the one that wanted this? Feel like I should be elated. Anyway, just wanted to post to get it off my chest. ",1.6968181818181804,3.5143401969697017,3.1818181818181834,91.8427272727273,78.84848484848484,5.612121212121212,20.090909090909093,6.42735559955562,0.10374545454545504,247,6,53,2,6,81,53,66,0.07400000000000001,0.8290000000000001,0.097,0.3895,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,1,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,3,0,7,1,1,1,1,13,14,3,0,4,2,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,2,3,3,4,3,10,9,0,7,0,1,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,37,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2929572115238413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201655827733645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.395055180934178,0.1860566515457001,0.0,0.2852966270801698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606788079490525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712056512128605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12723664115014832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2551735217821068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647923713484925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494271997957252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24545932691307898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.255878589523339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24686436353058294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544096621470458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3072256521555973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,justwalkawayffdp,2018/02/08,"Didn’t see that coming... Hi, I’m sorry we’re in this predicament and I hope we can all get through these tough times and move forward with a happy life. That being said I would like to start with my background, I am a well educated person currently running jobs for a construction company, my work has me traveling a few hours from home to real close to home. I am a very proud father of two amazing little girls 8,5 . My STBX and I were married for almost 10 years. The summer of 2016 I came home to her wanting me to move out “ she hasn’t been happy for 15 years” , we dated 5 years before we wed. I refused to move out I didn’t want to abandon my kids and begged her for a month and a half to stay. We then gave it a second try. I started working for a new company with fewer hours and less stress. Unfortunately work soon picked up again and I returned from a weekend trip with my brother and she once again wanted me out , that was at the end of summer 2017, she had an online separation agreement site she wanted to use. Again I begged and I have changed from her complaints that she had from the previous summer, but it seemed to late her mind was made up, I offered to go to counselling and she refused. Nothing I could do would help( I tried everything), I still love her and wish her the best. 

Here’s where I think things changed after our second child was born she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer...I wish no one would ever deal with that.., she was very fortunate we fought for 3 years and beat it! She did however have a double misectomy (sry for spelling) and reconstruction surgery. She looks great. In that time I would only get maybe 2-3 hours sleep taking care of her and the kids plus working. I made every appointment she had, I was so supportive, she was always concerned that I’d leave her because of some statistics she read.. I would never abandon her and reassured her. 

She had a slightly new outlook on life started working out, went back to work even though I could support us. Then things changed our sex life slowed down and distance grew between us I would ask her to go on dates and she’d refuse.. it got weird quick. And I would question her and she’d brush it off.

So back to the separation agreement, we are 50/50 with the kids, I still pay her 1000$ a month I’ve absorbed all our debt and became sole owner of our house and gave her a deposit on one for herself . I also gave her our camper to sell and replace furniture for the kids and her bedrooms plus anything else she needed. The reason I took over the house we had was to help out the kids transition , try to make it easier on them. I soon got called for a larger scale job to run a few hours from home, in that time i aloud her to live in the house cause I was only home on the weekends , she went through everything packed everything thing when the time came for her to move out she was out in a day with the movers left nothing. 2 sets of old cloths for the kids that didn’t fit . I’ve replaced furniture, food, kids clothing, a lot of stuff...

We were talking and getting along ok for a while now she doesn’t text when I ask about the kids it’s hard to get a hold of her sometimes and she criticizes everything I do. I’ve been active with the kids when I have them (like I’ve always been) . But I feel like she is setting me up to be a bad parent she’s very cautious on what she says tries to start arguments all the time. I’m being calm. I started to look for lawyers out of fear she has been talking to one , is this the right move? Is there anything else I can do to safe guard myself and the kids if she gets silly?  I’m truly worried. Thank you for reading and sorry for the long rant just wanted to give a full picture.",3.1783678843946284,4.63510077290837,3.8044562990973967,90.51829765683027,73.8074369189907,6.645589393837082,24.71490309946654,7.134242097396668,0.8488855830913633,2914,90,623,29,59,920,327,753,0.076,0.792,0.132,0.9942,7,0,0,0,0,0,79.0,15,1,2,9,26,31,1,2,45,1,57,9,2,7,5,111,113,42,0,19,4,3,2,3,0,7,4,2,6,13,24,59,1,8,6,5,4,20,7,8,1,7,39,8,110,23,102,60,11,116,0,2,3,3,105,35,0,7,62,414,134,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241973495701975,0.0,0.0,0.041863295303922056,0.08711674635172015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615716047282865,0.0,0.09787807342975503,0.0,0.0,0.08050595114345856,0.0437090393139963,0.031911326479250574,0.0,0.04454495063135208,0.0,0.0549368081899656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053453950749901724,0.11974610216357075,0.05337306350866701,0.05377661058084505,0.1661341836847328,0.045093833145915266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08359247206053258,0.0,0.0,0.03376062824108764,0.05396928691482023,0.0,0.05313290323174539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746136612520372,0.0,0.0463654754361703,0.0,0.0,0.03457587122423096,0.04735246271008935,0.044106099509529116,0.0,0.18819080883415196,0.0,0.0,0.058906924081888426,0.026469112817272804,0.03739797429200925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330034478302582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13675036784928227,0.05021771367198077,0.0595020287857527,0.0,0.08373619273697461,0.05771470765879565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11145248575509596,0.04689421876395354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017655890677264,0.0,0.2625504407006892,0.05199414393476227,0.2062119884020428,0.18121036862676712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10389616042274054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05905169672928555,0.055429792635271,0.05687709564485294,0.0,0.1109264607106234,0.0767248995701625,0.052467223624738636,0.04622492612866492,0.0463270172819609,0.0879195708320264,0.0,0.0,0.044505055272003456,0.04724681197169673,0.09906735056828632,0.034943212847090885,0.0,0.05259137919577539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0528573383391012,0.0,0.0835685832404781,0.2781923085761617,0.0,0.038815952286841066,0.040374601370037295,0.10111754342281767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10046012017269493,0.0,0.054931231841087086,0.05574973536369312,0.10641865128624088,0.0796272024389778,0.0,0.0,0.05812711798020515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04570892988744772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058642606968358615,0.0,0.1047258797658615,0.0595843649178639,0.0,0.05382325789699443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04470556659255515,0.04979567140536922,0.04162984586190671,0.0,0.0,0.041715194909836564,0.04765635736781933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052386579219556736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05177427560685089,0.11720033228943387,0.18526365682191814,0.055796827390446634,0.08361159637552609,0.0,0.05996534324648493,0.0,0.059926821393403884,0.0,0.11880953575277785,0.0,0.0,0.039359762832883415,0.08415192250463065,0.0,0.04819571741575472,0.0,0.0,0.10433459718407537,0.03354298034728164,0.051432404234787336,0.0,0.15262495420654829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05816141358783866,0.14216552393765314,0.0,0.051137145195139684,0.0,0.1259382581196443,0.04521253258028987,0.0,0.1295796617855759,0.1543833147822005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04706783426662226,0.09705567510258578,0.0,0.0,0.1203970122096017,0.0,0.0,0.2286631837412887,0.053162720621491535,0.0,0.2603094674480711,0.0,0.0,0.134843575406204
divorce,SublethalTuba,2018/02/08,"I [29F] have finally worked up the courage to divorce my husband [27M] of four years. Well, I can't say that I'm surprised to be here. This has been a LONG time coming, and I'm almost embarrassed to have waited so long. I'm trying to figure out my thoughts so I apologize if this is a huge, disjointed mess of a post. 

My STBXH and I have been together for almost six years, married for four. We have two children, 3 & 4 years old. No real assets beyond our cars.

We should have divorced over three years ago when I found out my STBXH was cheating (not the first or last time). We've also had an insane amount of financial trouble, largely due to STBXH's excessive spending. And if I'm really honest, I've grown to resent him. He was very controlling when we got together and I was a push over. I alienated every friend I had, he knew where I was at and what I was doing at all times, he was very concerned if I even masturbated (because then what about his needs???), the list goes on. These things are no longer issues, at least according to him, but it fucked with my head so bad that I still have no friends and I let him know what I'm doing, where I'm going, how long I'll be out, etc. I can't get past it and I hate it.

I have a free consultation with a lawyer tomorrow morning and I'm absolutely terrified. Do you guys have any advice? What should I expect, how much will it cost, is there a way to do this affordably? Is it possible to file pro se if we're in agreement (which we pretty much are)? I know it's not recommended with children but I don't know how I'll be able to afford a lawyer, I've been a SAHM for years. I'm overwhelmed and don't even know where to start.",2.185636794783125,3.710068733524359,3.6759411125382857,90.14263610315187,76.56446991404013,7.106056713763462,22.922734907617826,7.873277556716777,0.9316927378717516,1304,38,291,20,29,431,182,349,0.128,0.778,0.093,-0.9337,2,0,0,0,2,0,53.0,5,1,0,3,21,17,4,2,13,0,40,2,1,4,1,50,64,26,0,8,9,1,0,0,2,3,0,1,0,3,18,20,0,2,8,0,3,5,9,9,1,6,15,1,34,9,33,42,6,47,0,1,0,1,24,16,1,7,24,189,52,4,0.11694709461960914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427934736747256,0.10366654319636756,0.0,0.2342112445774411,0.0,0.0,0.0935225493154799,0.0,0.12671212816036648,0.0,0.07952803462808705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097645939123968,0.07128986341642553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007395668113536,0.0,0.0,0.1311661108291882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13042692406921078,0.1544849060838683,0.0,0.0985329711038526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12810982582695726,0.0,0.09947513894098856,0.0,0.12822645299181876,0.18070607040659764,0.1081157045154518,0.06110003012541791,0.0,0.06646372891917697,0.0,0.09353327488770992,0.0,0.0,0.11579601006943725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11546104430508215,0.12002145831733355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12206238297381244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570842590887706,0.09532749083577527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195863276566267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104834958837103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719391413011638,0.08671478882918487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12271630318449454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11163923465399872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13184027755975342,0.11200298948279107,0.11897723846758156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311139665444366,0.07491930341482464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300102355418834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08277575549515201,0.0,0.09339410082994046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769445317685611,0.0,0.0,0.09284293001073714,0.20457837400894946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939940063780987,0.0,0.1142403183658896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1929872015034511,0.0,0.09282716026985917,0.0,0.0,0.10514948284447673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513887771625006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3765504733695935
divorce,my_divorce_throwawa2,2018/02/08,"in a difficult situation I love my wife. We've been married for 6 & 1/2 years now, have a 4 yr old boy, who is on the spectrum. She stays at home, takes care of him and the house, takes him to therapies, activities, etc.

I work full time, and sometimes beyond that. I am not a good communicator. Often in the past I didn't say much when we were relaxing at home together. She would take this to mean that I didn't care, that I don't love her.

We are currently in marriage counseling, for the 2nd time. I believe the main issue she has with me, is that she feels she can't communicate with me. There has been times when she would bring up an issue with me, and I would be surprised and confused, because I wasn't feeling the way she was telling me she thought I was feeling. This would lead to me trying to explain myself, what I've been thinking about, that I do love her. Though usually she would just want me to apologize, and move on -- because in her words, it would show her that I love her enough to just let it go and accept responsibility. During an argument, I have trouble getting past this, because i just want her to hear my side, and accept that what she thinks I am feeling, may not be true.

Whenever we get into a big argument, a lot of the same topics come up. Along with the current issue, I am told that I don't do enough around the house, that I don't encourage us to improve, that I don't come up with things to do, that I don't like to have sex with her. When as she is saying these things, I am thinking; I try to empty the dishwasher every morning before I leave for work. I try to help with laundry as much as I can. I'll try to help her cook and clean. I have wanted to go to the gym more, maybe not in the past week, though before I wanted to go, and wanted to push myself -- and show her I'm pushing myself so she would push herself as well. I often take my son swimming at night after work and on the weekends. I often ask if she wants to go out to eat, for something to do and give her a night off from cooking. I think about not wanting to advance any physical contact without knowing if she wanted to have sex or not. We often cuddle at night - though within the past year, she hasn't wanted to have sex much. So it hurts when she brings up these points, and all I can think about is that I feel exactly the opposite of which she thinks that I feel.

Am I being too stubborn? Am I being a dick? Should I just apologize and accept that is reality when she brings something up that I don't feel to be true? Because I feel if I keep trying to defend myself - that this will end in divorce.",5.929229848363924,4.840041970204844,6.502305799414739,82.6033868715084,66.91433891992551,9.384650172918331,30.724195264698054,8.306716005460428,1.9724765097100283,2026,62,441,23,28,665,217,537,0.077,0.82,0.103,0.9536,2,0,2,0,1,0,70.0,5,0,0,5,30,22,1,1,24,0,59,12,1,1,4,99,113,32,0,20,14,2,8,1,0,10,0,3,3,1,31,31,3,2,21,8,0,16,17,5,1,0,11,11,88,17,74,86,12,72,0,1,0,9,60,28,1,11,27,333,119,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826545841490493,0.0,0.04284528892018805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05608745227503912,0.058900796554614526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15362807892545385,0.0,0.10722454918590578,0.07098460950355108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12847477867355828,0.0,0.0,0.10854576919728548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446943551810788,0.0,0.0,0.05580337536544989,0.13020118919913554,0.07026678417051159,0.0,0.0,0.053084093362193184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548561530729716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583460677729798,0.060439753926174636,0.14322786582478844,0.05284526974084506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07101076389845586,0.0,0.08446131138936297,0.0,0.12639750294336688,0.0,0.0,0.14539769983971612,0.06744772802243877,0.0,0.0,0.19728130171668876,0.0,0.05600138388984413,0.0,0.0,0.034625680770943884,0.0,0.0,0.0667127748773618,0.0,0.06442647279432323,0.0,0.03078086536237811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05356425835474704,0.2274564475808767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06329658968533103,0.06863048047276356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696391948197772,0.1389468925050424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737664881164372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06611272980333592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24058008152460736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0595597124430266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020757441540358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081981085107818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970080393190646,0.062313161005774366,0.0,0.0,0.06715452119879073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18948647449391026,0.0,0.055068797954781035,0.0,0.0720512516786641,0.0,0.08371491410358001,0.24222482425814296,0.18570510055995607,0.05001861518531674,0.11021546781869172,0.0,0.0,0.0602035958654262,0.0,0.21387994034592145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07578677695644814,0.0,0.06939066632562227,0.0,0.33445571238161,0.05001011932461463,0.050538490213401226,0.0,0.056648702477665236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06073418664317407,0.0,0.13760429882942166,0.0,0.0,0.3132966239758007,0.0,0.0,0.08114579418441177
divorce,divorcehorse11,2018/02/08,"3 weeks I am at a loss right now. I've found myself a new place to live  and will be moving out in March. We have a 4 year old together and the part that is killing me inside is having to explain to our child whats going to happen and what the first night at my new place is going to be like. Having to sit there alone in silence. I am scared , hurt and just trying to stay above water. The ex gets the house while i go back to apartment life. 

Things are somewhat amicable, we still have sex which is a problem. She wanted the divorce. Any tips from anyone on how to help move on or how did you tell your smaller children? 

Thank you for reading. ",2.8446268656716427,3.930932567164181,3.725552238805971,92.21907462686569,74.07462686567162,5.957014925373135,22.35522388059701,5.6839178017228535,0.1070471641791042,500,12,111,2,10,160,96,134,0.127,0.818,0.055,-0.875,0,1,0,0,1,0,12.0,3,3,0,2,7,7,1,1,9,0,15,3,0,2,0,16,24,8,1,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,7,1,0,2,1,0,5,0,5,0,1,2,0,13,2,18,19,2,30,0,2,0,1,14,11,0,2,13,76,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652463499356124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10849990960972243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1115615205001834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226845972883001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571369686155982,0.0,0.1749390466424796,0.0,0.0,0.08335862663727718,0.0,0.2720289246595678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410901081697928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10694343394830676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841000222855016,0.17080226503893606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17651914894795728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269533881330596,0.07794838577814876,0.0,0.14088614235911615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3391541704592816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081900137172304,0.0,0.1497274717786666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1674215622883578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277780009573912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3333929301418125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526684191771702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15959382135418232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362553787900577,0.0,0.0,0.15973802916349694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17005975834416198,0.1274173509444563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394542959329771,0.14689279731969296,0.0,0.0,0.10599835877106556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10832441456092506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09410710404917004,0.0,0.1279819032188197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274538410300413
divorce,Jojoicb,2018/02/08,"She has a new man... She STBX (41f) told me (36m) on New Years Eve it was over. It was totally unexpected for me. My STBX wanted me to move out pretty much right away but how do you just pick up and leave like that? We were married 9 years and have 2 kids 8 and 3. I moved out weekend before last. That week My STBX ran into an old boyfriend and on Sunday while I had the kids I found out later she went and saw him after work. My STBX’s birthday was last weekend and she asked me beforehand to keep the kids through most of this week. I didn’t want to act like I didn’t want my kids around but it is totally out of character for her to give up time with them for any reason. I was over there to drop off something for my son because he was sick that last week and we started talking normally for once and weren’t just arguing about things and in a fit of honesty My STBX admitted she wanted to go out of town to go visit him those days. He doesn’t live in our state but I think he doesn’t really have a permanent home so he can easily pick up and move because he travels for his job. I tried to be ok with that but the next day I in a mature way told her I couldn’t be comfortable with it and I wanted her to keep her days with our kids and be a mother to them. They need her as much as they need me. My STBX wasn’t upset and said she would go see him other days. I thought the whole thing was over. Tues she informs me that he is in our house and I was upset at her for telling me. I don’t need to know when she is with him she’s just trying to hurt me. Then I realized she was telling me because he wasn’t leaving. Later I found out he will be staying for an indeterminate amount of time. I lost it. I haven’t even been out of the house a little more than a week and this guy has already moved in. He’s around my kids and they don’t understand what’s going on. I can’t keep her from having the kids and she insists he be around them and will not budge no matter what I say. 

I never tried to tell My STBX who she could and couldn’t see. I never thought she would make these kinds of rash and poor decisions as a parent. My STBX has only been a fiercely dedicated mother since our children were born but now she’s putting her wants for this guy in front of what is right for our children. I looked into it. There isn’t anything I can do unless I want to lawyer up and try to take them from her. I don’t want to do that. My STBX is a good mother and they need her too but I don’t feel she is thinking clearly. She says she needs him and he makes her happy and I have to deal with it. I know nothing about him and what I do know doesn’t scream “model citizen”. I am for what I know the only person she has ever been with that wasn’t a loser or a leach on her that she had to support. I never thought she would go back to her loser  boyfriend hopping days but now I don’t know what to think. It scares me who she might bring around in the future and the example that could set for our children. Irregardless of the hurt I feel in all this I just don’t think it is right she have him in the home with the kids. I feel like I am going crazy the last couple of days and I feel helpless. 

We have seen a mediator and had papers made up. 50/50 time with the kids and all have already been agreed on but we have not signed them yet and we have not filed. We are supposed to sign on Friday now. 

I don’t know what I want in all this except her to think clearly. Yes I am jealous but the only real problem I have is My STBX having this guy around my kids. My hurt feelings don’t have anything to do with why I want him out of the house.

I sure I made some mistakes in following the rules for making a post. I’m sorry if I did.",1.2832712215320896,2.735652913043481,2.7388819875776385,96.20575569358179,78.87577639751552,5.759834368530022,19.74120082815735,6.354857612393258,-0.1836004140786756,2885,65,698,22,69,940,279,805,0.097,0.8059999999999999,0.096,-0.7772,3,0,1,0,0,0,52.0,12,1,9,4,24,25,2,3,33,2,88,2,1,9,12,164,159,50,0,26,20,5,5,3,0,6,1,4,2,19,38,61,0,3,27,3,1,19,29,15,0,0,39,14,138,10,112,105,12,119,0,7,5,0,120,49,0,6,48,487,176,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11888311383999263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03663016418369145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865289415376174,0.2397571165066407,0.050356664705069484,0.0,0.05060810237657505,0.04141899249174864,0.0,0.0985071269693246,0.0,0.04583529415005739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860139138402872,0.05960078846216797,0.0,0.20843147932890865,0.055532627284327146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03557743819659112,0.048724132057269935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361792475550363,0.038481289753278115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812076201173673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05167238138274106,0.1836769119685996,0.04517955079132468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16000496732363048,0.0,0.057340477382237985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1080623191466585,0.0,0.0,0.1864595297856792,0.1729913425871272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345287183555823,0.1436335199106824,0.0,0.05609228780775484,0.17761733953636213,0.1756292183939153,0.0,0.1140708795993659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894740684608244,0.05398705339195346,0.04756393387224458,0.0,0.045233178323430746,0.0,0.05880019842364425,0.0,0.0,0.10193705660475737,0.10786626205847882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057142435418302384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290006137736716,0.07919419868626078,0.1997017131645152,0.1246324243550384,0.10404663785291013,0.05728622167832724,0.0,0.052776432057038206,0.05168508543844603,0.0,0.05652243708379215,0.05736465038046825,0.0,0.12290067205399212,0.0,0.0,0.059810899169402076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04703299065283807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05158794521963391,0.054800244964818286,0.0,0.05154169510592165,0.0,0.05414937568034151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061310358504078,0.03450740858172308,0.055382368211376716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13800168812888058,0.051238113723674865,0.08567149378134246,0.05392843418658362,0.0,0.08584713652701154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044557827037392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04146804114233682,0.0,0.0602976502255876,0.03812604609677691,0.05741310653246251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06112555903505151,0.0507672872918856,0.0,0.040499905860305316,0.043294785005079967,0.1412416040120362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157125381859378,0.1725731366963445,0.0,0.1282887896887819,0.09422764517474794,0.0,0.0,0.10294096067864676,0.0,0.14628366437324233,0.0,0.0,0.05607554387501646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3177107413796353,0.042755666442559126,0.17282956803593846,0.0,0.0,0.049933554243613634,0.04860493968207128,0.06013854107951205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039214486862976614,0.0,0.0,0.1147928185037444,0.0,0.0,0.06937480966292411
divorce,Catnat16,2018/02/08,"I am thinking of getting back with my ex . What should I do ? I need help : It’s been a year we are not together but I see him 3 times a week we are friends and I am happy about that. But what makes  me sad I feel he has someone and I see he is ok know . But I am not ok I dont have anyone and I feel like I want to get back with him . I know that he will never change he will be selfish forever . I know I will go back to the old life that made me helpless, insecure , and unhappy. Its hard to go back to a lifestyle that I had 10 years back when I was single and had so much attention from a lot of men . And know I don’t even look at men . I don’t know just keep think should I get back with him and deal with his garbage. Help please how do I stop thinking about him what should I do . Is it because I have feeling for him , or is it because I am insecure about my self , I just don’t know anymore .",-0.5409701492537309,1.05946230348259,1.714574626865673,100.6700708955224,85.16915422885572,5.214029850746269,19.50273631840796,6.2581,-0.31936636815920405,677,19,180,6,20,228,99,201,0.135,0.722,0.14300000000000002,-0.0516,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,2,0,0,0,15,10,0,2,5,2,30,1,0,3,1,46,55,14,0,5,8,1,4,1,1,6,1,0,0,3,11,13,0,2,13,0,0,2,7,5,0,0,5,7,36,5,16,43,3,17,0,2,3,0,20,1,0,2,15,127,47,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11852017960055475,0.08356302355079902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5513673090806785,0.0,0.1457023732212957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264239979274422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1232078708740502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14006290708211186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893414422681605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1812810519039305,0.08537679578374457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092331861964507,0.0,0.1873145556717722,0.0,0.13583870935611486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12721887075494187,0.10705601612501674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020786826065148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062245208492966,0.0,0.0,0.3940720132426486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441228847634859,0.05838574776789191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10035692288718746,0.0,0.0,0.10160173344239068,0.0,0.1130816991886166,0.0797727578499203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785239491509245,0.08861393415774646,0.0921722141714048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12540391964620634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13118429085680042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904653791720049,0.0,0.12467328258515165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125904504042356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0999143396293843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22972839336647616,0.0,0.0,0.06968628538567699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07048912668723767,0.0,0.09586239722084756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1539189303451831
divorce,Hestiaxx,2018/02/08,"Advice from an Adult Child of Divorce.. After lurking here and r/ACOD, I wanted to offer my story and some advice to anyone going through a divorce involving children.

 First, my story is somewhat atypical in that my biological parents have never been together during my life. However, I am now realizing that even this relatively minor event in my timeline has been extremely impactful in my adult relationships.  I am 28/F and my parents separated during my mom's pregnancy and their divorced was finalized when I was 1.  My father was career military and was in Kuwait during Desert Storm when I was born. My mom got remarried when I was 5 and I lived with my mom, stepfather and stepsiblings until a few years ago.

Other than the atypical situation of their divorce, I grew up with my dad geographically separated from me (result of military postings), and when added up, I've probably spent under a year's worth of time in my 28yr old life with my dad.  I understand the logistical issues of our custodial arrangement, but also feel resentful that I personally would have done anything to see my kid more.  I spent my adolescent years being sent to my dad's house for week or two during school vacations, in which I felt very pressured to have father-like feelings for him but always felt forced and awkward. I'm a people pleaser by nature, and felt obligated to fulfill the role I thought I was supposed to play. 

Since Ive been an adult and had more control over the situation (FB, texting, when/where I see my Dad) things have been a lot better in many ways, but I have recently begun thinking (especially since reading posts in r/Divorce) about how this divorce may impact my relationships in ways I thought were unrelated.  I'm currently looking into seeing a therapist for on going issues.

If you're going through this, here is my advice:
1) be straight forward with your children (age-appropriate) - I have no idea what happened between my parents. They got married young, and through snooping, I found divorce papers that cite 'irreconcilable differences'. So vague.  My mom never talks about it; my dad awkwardly compares me to my mom and speaks fondly of her.
2) Even if you think your kids are/seem okay, get them support somehow. I am a people pleaser-- I never acted out and I would have never asked for support, nor as a non-typical child of divorce did I feel I needed it (or deserved it).  I spent my teenage years being VERY resentful towards my dad (internally), and have only just started to become reflective of its impact on my adult life in the last 2 years.  I'm seeking out support on my own, but I can't help but feel I'd be further on this journey if someone has just asked me what I thought 15yrs ago. 
3) Don't force it.  It's very awkward. I didn't know how to behave in my father's home with his family, being told I could help myself to whatever, but feeling like a perpetual guest/intruder.  It's better now as an adult that we interact on my turf/neutral locations. 

I hope this isn't the wrong kind of post for this sub; I only really got courage to post after reading your stories and thinking about what I wish someone had done for me in similar situations. I hope I can be of some help. I'll delete if inappropriate. ",7.205269320843088,7.370443180327872,7.843208430913347,69.87286885245902,63.91803278688525,10.709133489461358,36.77283372365339,10.41944937434414,3.9759915690866494,2580,118,444,57,35,860,293,610,0.061,0.835,0.104,0.9827,5,0,0,1,8,0,82.0,2,4,4,4,20,20,2,4,18,1,48,3,0,4,4,81,96,40,0,12,14,16,8,1,0,3,3,1,1,12,24,25,0,1,20,3,4,8,10,7,0,2,33,13,83,13,74,53,8,74,0,0,4,0,63,28,0,14,35,307,107,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185566593497386,0.1122223611045636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05062058103365452,0.05267024831741357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04426047672468997,0.0,0.05209008860484757,0.0,0.11835296078578685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699093159336543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119665137240885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07099576295445598,0.050539493785947284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613449672682449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12955471524619064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0836174351975302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05967312772476576,0.0,0.16003062593715256,0.04522116986728999,0.18233231756068435,0.06934149963775052,0.0,0.05384251571896444,0.0,0.06940462596282196,0.0,0.0,0.03307137207828986,0.0,0.1079236804442572,0.0,0.1518791592653702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055975531892493685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12728494595373507,0.0,0.06349455179017308,0.12574135682427026,0.0,0.07303911523300684,0.0,0.0714574218401289,0.0,0.13213644824081192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06591668032601009,0.034787745482056966,0.05159753460429458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413090996332858,0.030924934502441062,0.0,0.05589461130288887,0.0,0.05315563105384302,0.0,0.0,0.053814964647387865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06417574983096534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3706780010548052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04693577139280816,0.19528188266268606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06642216893111376,0.0,0.0,0.0962842323874073,0.0,0.0,0.21085978525637727,0.0,0.0,0.08776779546827898,0.055270675003752164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24249366368317066,0.0,0.0682475586993207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12663324386009067,0.0,0.040551275572075864,0.0,0.06250061202849096,0.13591993087357115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06406246549334854,0.15132449958402386,0.05762548032573265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472398811443588,0.2134538440938412,0.0,0.0,0.10726690863337357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044803706371707705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154945408077172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087773407895555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349558923876483,0.04205336992726244,0.1216792760187304,0.0,0.1507581785272996,0.03691044293613725,0.0,0.0,0.060485377426240626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06183440609219806,0.0658970037447036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15668613094382364,0.03733568052605935,0.1004883811007634,0.050775034467092806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07279129209155986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993228619908898,0.06920805778735012,0.0,0.20381398807005632
divorce,bettrsmartrstrngr,2018/02/08,"rewriting history ? I think i am losing my mind, have i remembered everything wrong?
or maybe my ex trying to justify her decision? she actually almost convinced me her betrayal was 100% my fault,how does this happen, im not stupid or maybe i am.",2.267246376811592,5.137618043478263,4.586956521739129,75.83159420289856,85.95652173913044,9.153623188405795,27.231884057971016,9.2995712137729,3.5431710144927537,194,9,33,7,6,67,36,46,0.2,0.6970000000000001,0.103,-0.7056,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,8,6,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,11,1,1,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,0,3,0,20,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.2508324842068293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573869147179082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22493611135638386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310096173884008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272982843942705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2776456730364813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2875603180711001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5164594152587375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2595355975465493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29117449811694673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469988314723627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745122596268838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810312339958975,0.0,0.0
divorce,runyouarefree,2018/02/08,"[KY] Sole Custody After Domestic Violence In the fall my husband broke into my house, physically and sexually assaulted me in front of our three kids (7, 6, 1), made threats on our lives, and destroyed nearly everything in the house. I have a DVO that says no contact for 2 years with me or our children and grants me full custody.

CPS was involved and found him guilt of child neglect, not abuse. Something about he only created an environment in which they could be abused. Case closed. All they did was send the paper saying that he was guilty and that according to the DVO he couldn't see them for 2 years, nothing about what happens after.

He's in jail and looking at 5 to 20+ years. He will be a sex offender when he gets out. He's claiming he's mentally incompetent and I have heard the words schizophrenic and bipolar bounced around a lot.

Have spoken with a few lawyers but am hoping someone here can give some guidance on how Kentucky law is operating since the laws changed to automatic 50-50. It seems that none of the lawyers I have spoken with have dealt with this kind of a case since the laws changed or don't really know how this case would go. Has anyone been able to get sole with supervised or no visitation since the new laws went into effect last summer?

Also, if there is joint custody issued, could anyone recommend things to include in a custody agreement that would ensure children's safety?
",6.8219029850746296,7.246640033582096,6.529067164179107,78.08598880597016,64.70895522388061,9.53582089552239,33.91417910447761,9.354420925462401,2.985711940298508,1131,46,208,19,16,354,167,268,0.097,0.8190000000000001,0.085,0.5258,0,0,1,0,3,0,28.0,3,0,3,1,9,10,4,1,16,0,24,3,0,4,1,46,38,17,0,7,6,1,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,4,11,18,0,1,4,0,0,6,6,7,0,1,9,5,15,3,34,21,6,31,0,2,2,1,28,16,0,8,9,129,26,4,0.13235639104240512,0.3136413606160443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058453580975644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18509333211245088,0.0,0.0,0.1178252492121769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2800310237834149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21135161661960192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189533898795524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14512195116406099,0.0,0.0,0.1383015030221462,0.1269683107329055,0.07522118718362736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11704231948510485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13145976072350962,0.0,0.3054430095074219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814568497831511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782881372046388,0.07273961109824542,0.10788812407175072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1168731181719375,0.0,0.11114603366673058,0.0,0.0,0.11252467055491862,0.0,0.12523881744797605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338411161533836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12783062723363106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12699952687679422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066299959515186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08479089328085325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105102291069336,0.0,0.0,0.10547090742108116,0.12049228744660626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32845972321045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121451406175066,0.10189441617265428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0879317050154193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226957005182487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18804436541229505,0.0,0.0,0.2556995290697128
divorce,TrustyP4tches,2018/02/08,"Going to die alone We’ve been separated for about 6 months now and I am completely lost. I have completely secluded myself and have been drinking way too much. I know none of that is the right answer, but I have no idea what to do anymore. I am alone and I feel like I’m going to die alone. I don’t know what to do. How do you guys get past feeling totally worthless?",1.625454545454545,3.4252515454545467,3.4116883116883163,90.19467532467534,79.0,6.997402597402598,22.688311688311693,7.957251820313856,1.018745454545455,287,9,64,5,7,96,51,77,0.275,0.665,0.059,-0.953,0,3,1,0,0,0,7.0,0,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,12,1,0,1,1,12,21,5,2,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,6,1,0,2,3,2,0,0,3,2,9,1,7,18,3,7,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,43,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5514876728568897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17602536735371924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.372196077988725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36841943370809227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387557279188734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794915929827512,0.1268010383714164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927327694573402,0.0,0.20174673035302496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757459805471008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20036799833492835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950910276169608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867141168170881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375458214542465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416732233593855,0.0,0.1304777814204458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694371572045499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515780566256424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088568589925135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,wafflecone69,2018/02/08,"World Collapsing I am at my last wits end with my relationship with my wife. She is a bully, hates me, and hasn’t told me she loves me in months and months. I am destroyed. We have 2 children that my wife will do everything in her power to take away from me. I have no joy and the thought of losing my girls ends me. Please god can you help me??? Please!",-0.4812162162162146,1.7338827702702737,1.0095135135135145,101.00508108108109,92.91891891891892,4.581621621621622,15.508108108108113,6.2581,-0.7181254054054049,271,6,66,3,10,86,53,74,0.181,0.622,0.197,0.3468,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,1,0,2,0,5,2,0,2,0,9,1,0,0,0,7,14,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,19,2,9,11,0,10,0,1,0,1,13,5,0,0,5,44,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121513346724712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3999926113714954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20293907361446847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222935798366008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15135240602044878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18406130313136654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526181603059142,0.0,0.0,0.2037979285422591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604709703127333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4957324073736442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24243018382541576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697773415497641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17926403532166946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21576646006144187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,skinnybetty,2018/02/08,"Divorce is imminent. My husband won't give me a key to our gate. What do you think you would do? I have asked my husband for a key to our locked driveway going on three years now. He usually lets me out when I need to go somewhere, but not always, and now it is not acceptable. It never was, really. But he has assured me over and over again that this is a temporary measure, for safety.

In the meantime, I am juggling many things and have not felt like fighting over reminding him to make a key, and he keeps putting it off ""why?"" ""it's too dangerous"" etc. etc. The neighborhood is not safe, true, but still...

I am almost forty and this is basically a catastrophe to me, but I think I have to divorce him. 

Isn't it illegal for him to keep me here? I am losing my mind or may have already. ",1.713020833333335,3.6585750937500015,3.3937500000000007,89.72958333333338,79.3125,7.0166666666666675,25.041666666666664,8.021203637495839,1.4259041666666663,605,23,131,11,15,201,93,160,0.147,0.775,0.078,-0.917,0,0,0,0,4,0,29.0,2,2,0,1,7,8,2,0,7,0,21,0,0,1,3,31,32,11,0,2,9,2,1,1,0,3,0,0,2,0,10,6,0,3,4,0,0,3,7,3,0,1,2,1,22,5,17,26,2,18,0,1,0,0,17,7,0,3,9,102,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18817010041948967,0.0,0.20736928546190087,0.0,0.15636064282529502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756755058113547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41915062521934005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18042822587939544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802655475507776,0.21359327247569526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33405563308000674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921561991999496,0.0,0.09180595863135813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21022923402070864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543496978395485,0.1905166924008498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897409567471245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933686703455744,0.1449319192557153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890685111350125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038339894705148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500694585647622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484262301498833,0.2408171649662916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069622334230656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956439457593095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13348968848689569,0.0,0.0,0.12101133831520144
divorce,washroomcolor,2018/02/08,"She cheated, but wants to work it out Please delete. Didn’t realize my post went through the other day.",2.8810000000000002,5.347857099999999,2.4700000000000024,95.165,78.0,6.0,25.0,7.1686216300943375,0.9305,82,3,17,1,2,24,20,20,0.097,0.769,0.133,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,3,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3119023405672956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5308822111898223,0.0,0.0,0.4631853377676306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852584192524174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4483312930917819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35208952916580283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,saddad2112,2018/02/09,"That was the sound of finality... FINALLY So, my story is out there, but in short, wife of 16 years cheated on me - at least two AP's but probably more. I found out last July, we had a quick divorce - final in November. She had moved out in August and started taking our kids (early teens) to the AP's home during her parenting time (50/50). Shit sandwich, but what can you do?

Even though we were divorced and I said I would never take her back, there was this little tiny flame inside of me that wasn't quite extinguished. That maybe... somehow and someday something might work out. I really loved her, but I have been strong with 180 and NC as little as possible except for the kids. She has put a few things ""out there"" that indicate that she knows she fucked up, but I ignore and don't respond. 

Anyway, about that final nail in the coffin... I found out that she financed her own engagement ring (LMAO).The guy is kinda a loser and has ""financial issues"" according to my ex. This happened a couple weeks after the divorce was final. She hasn't told me anything and I don't think she has told the kids. I haven't been told anything by anybody else. But I do know that this totally shut the door and put out that last bit of hope that I had and I'm thankful for that. I believe that by finding this out it's OK to totally let go of her. FINALLY. I was pretty much all the way there, but this is it. Done. Done and DONE. 

For all of you out there going through this (especially if it was caused by infidelity), be strong. Time really does heal. It's not linear, but you will get there. I've had some periods recently of being really good! Of course, I come back down - I'm currently kinda down at the moment, but the lows aren't as low or as long lived anymore. Be strong for your kids. Don't bad mouth your spouse. Those feelings are for you and maybe your friends and other family members. Not your kids. I made a few mistakes in the beginning regarding this and for that I am ashamed. 

Be well, everyone. This group and the survivinginfidelity group have been my lifeline for 7 months. Thank you all. ",2.860915367922672,4.926269053527982,3.75773393831788,87.90625567173015,76.22627737226276,7.0709804695206175,23.27355822976261,8.00916892397051,1.1898425856513448,1635,50,332,27,37,523,208,411,0.073,0.79,0.13699999999999998,0.984,2,0,1,0,3,0,72.0,3,9,0,6,16,22,3,1,17,1,44,6,2,2,6,65,71,31,1,4,14,4,1,0,1,3,1,3,2,6,29,27,1,1,7,0,1,6,10,10,1,1,24,4,46,12,50,39,13,60,0,3,0,2,46,26,2,8,27,242,75,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310035771628448,0.0,0.0,0.13790935981120506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886362691453745,0.06996383813806208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440626400650017,0.0,0.0,0.09148049331055423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0860787182089142,0.0,0.07218043893806961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09271560347262356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07332801095289464,0.2572486674335741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999848268179737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534463112850786,0.0,0.0,0.08006801199811828,0.0,0.0,0.07899278982690071,0.0,0.042368369423593774,0.0,0.0,0.550748256310385,0.07658548447211345,0.0,0.0,0.18374988007945486,0.06473843343572876,0.0774654810918289,0.043778498689006635,0.0,0.09524323517949433,0.07028177687445558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296846113842052,0.07409806716730279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405143112069198,0.08322557364499109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08745835087195919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210112397964228,0.1366053150551286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08568424398142542,0.0,0.0,0.16796563817678198,0.07399094787640847,0.0741543623333865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756266519971019,0.07928717021363113,0.0,0.0,0.16836310288487372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889136403063301,0.0,0.0,0.0668829482760074,0.08905893130551566,0.06159765761646131,0.0,0.06462649647478153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930424538636991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446426468956604,0.0,0.08524782831666441,0.09034326280667017,0.0,0.0,0.16847065864088234,0.0,0.0891244031229904,0.0,0.0,0.16104024595052152,0.0,0.08273569524947551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07970654008553746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08601253555372608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06450811404583706,0.0,0.0,0.059309271959238026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12600414555945508,0.0,0.0,0.15429107686399735,0.0,0.0,0.05566849164500014,0.0536913115574684,0.0823264126004658,0.0,0.09772100013661704,0.0,0.0,0.24020403599435486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08185379970430239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06651115729135566,0.0672138662583979,0.0,0.07534016738465832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06100246168182812,0.0,0.0,0.05952429890338218,0.0,0.0,0.05396008601278191
divorce,sahraesma,2018/02/09,Would you forgive or divorce your spouse who took your kids overseas without letting you know about it? Would you forgive or divorce your spouse who took your kids overseas without letting you know about it?,9.811666666666667,10.321421277777782,6.507777777777778,80.465,58.444444444444436,7.2,45.77777777777778,3.1291,3.375711111111112,170,10,26,0,2,46,16,36,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.5514,0,0,0,0,2,0,2.0,0,8,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,10,8,2,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,2,0,8,2,4,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,18,0,0,2,0,22,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742412611774284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5102685855971646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5544152675119867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810250533929169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3544803384934574,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lovegame87,2018/02/09,"When only one wants out It's me. I want out but it hasn't been without a lot of thought, time, pain and consideration. 

My husband(32) and I(30) have been together for about 10 years, married for almost 5. We have a 4 year old. Our relationship has literally always been on the rocks, even when we were married which only happened because of a surprise pregnancy. We were on the verge of breaking up but decided to try to make it work and be a family. Not a fabulous start, I'm aware. 

We don't fight often, but when we do, it's a big one. We don't communicate. Attempting to communicate usually ends in some kind of blow up due to lots of unresolved issues. We are unable to talk about anything and close the door on it. Instead we just wake up the next day and act like it didn't happen. He does. I can't and it makes me resentful. We don't really spend time together, even as a family. We don't sleep in the same bed. 

Over time, this has brought us to now where I feel like I've been completely alone in life anyway. I've made peace with not asking anything from him to the point where I'm not interested in being angry or hateful toward him as a person. I just don't want him as a partner. As a partner, I feel like he's completely failed me and admitted to a lot of it. And then made promises to be different many times. We've danced to this song on what seems like countless occasions. 

I just had a moment of clarity one day, after another big argument, that this was all futile. It was never going to be different and I must be an idiot for believing him and hoping for a different result time and time again, when our long history showed the exact opposite. 

I don't think he ever considered that I'd actually finally ask for a divorce. Yet again he says he loves me and won't let me go. 

I don't know how to proceed from here. I want this to be as amicable as possible.",2.8561594325282877,4.4247857643979085,4.8152828914034815,82.48726650903565,74.86387434554973,8.698665765917921,26.19692619489951,9.285337120503966,2.2060946461746327,1470,53,304,36,31,505,194,382,0.109,0.78,0.112,-0.5795,4,1,0,0,2,0,45.0,13,0,0,3,23,16,4,0,22,0,34,5,2,6,5,70,62,28,0,6,11,0,2,4,2,2,2,2,2,3,17,26,0,0,9,4,1,5,16,6,0,3,14,4,33,10,53,39,6,60,0,1,0,1,34,22,0,10,36,210,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0918865386198124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428759896967727,0.09752132182356227,0.0,0.0,0.07834863005592238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873492844510404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497124893303826,0.0,0.17605370464074646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057399037903054,0.0,0.0,0.10608603114551453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974498540374002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145076960690565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951313530985281,0.0,0.0,0.08240001588508784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339777676381813,0.0,0.0,0.12438353161039485,0.0851730749477513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17753126130000607,0.0,0.09522021034423224,0.13453578905785996,0.0,0.10314763412354797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070265508330645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16653068404002666,0.0,0.0,0.09296346690526318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09352208659796056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827853513935443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805310903897156,0.051747851744077526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09628493904882723,0.06650796467643663,0.1840072018065143,0.0,0.0,0.0833286019191879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24015429343837466,0.08498304051776835,0.17819286245971644,0.12570500947171884,0.09546342086269162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07262196624343807,0.0,0.100140186114483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880503903710026,0.0,0.1914156781524764,0.14322578579993825,0.10019283664404993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08221684550855639,0.0,0.0,0.08901159777363744,0.10615120756505554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060321281740415185,0.0,0.0,0.10109255909582644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487977981985773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571969155389335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09422796160447464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06664690461484947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568220945937301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06033390061635036,0.0,0.07475249079364966,0.3294325807665749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06392843229433598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326283875968518,0.0,0.1037038935694886,0.0,0.22215193699439725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076684172648633,0.0,0.06854957261613373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1212718546932962
divorce,NaturalBornHeathen,2018/02/09,"Men of divorce, how did you end up getting primary custody? Context - I'm contemplating a divorce from my verbally & emotionally abusive SO(wife), with a few episodes of physical abuse directed towards me. About 10 yrs ago she was clinically diagnosed with depression & anxiety. Therapist wanted to get her evaluated for Bipolar Disorder, that's when she stopped her therapy sessions. To shield the kids from her verbal & emotional abuse, I became the primary care giver when our second child was born. Kid's are elementary aged now. Overall, I'm the most involved parent & she is not. I feel that I should have the kids over the week & she should get them over the weekend. If she get's primary, our kids will suffer big time. I also know that she is the fun parent when in mood & I believe that weekends will be less taxing for her & wholesome for the kids. But being a man, I fear that things could go in the usual biased way & I'm not willing to let that happen to my kids. So I wanna know, what steps did you take to get primary/sole custody? What challenges did you face?

Edit: grammar",5.019567307692308,6.827812591346152,5.705000000000003,77.31500000000003,69.72115384615384,8.853846153846154,32.71153846153846,9.354420925462401,3.201676923076924,881,41,154,19,16,286,125,208,0.145,0.8009999999999999,0.054000000000000006,-0.9688,2,0,0,0,4,0,42.0,2,3,1,1,8,8,0,1,12,0,18,4,1,1,0,17,34,8,0,6,4,2,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,9,9,2,0,1,3,2,1,2,2,3,0,1,5,1,26,4,22,20,3,24,0,2,0,0,31,7,0,2,14,102,35,4,0.0,0.31687558872820426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790238696103898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712912142612728,0.0,0.7727301314432687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681975846146655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043869166370352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09089180578721467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117701548614792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07678260112540254,0.090482824180899,0.0,0.0,0.10217074507670594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20055785104064505,0.07895821434143334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10031570892129443,0.04507564871476347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328794162971133,0.0,0.050664572059477817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07883282957347716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09798625642716777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911593468108788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979754719370528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074531292058396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670278167311183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10194792226017982,0.1035071050685056,0.0592256300633891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05198261738815668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818336380464918,0.0,0.05258149838707151,0.07076112681381608,0.07150873789675455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Bicycle215,2018/02/09,"Steps to possible separation? Hello! There is a possibility of divorce however we are going through counseling now which is great that she is willing to do that. What I am stressing on is thinking worst case like I always do. With that, trying to determine what steps need to be taken in what order with everything to how our joint finances work to if I need an attorney to taxes to selling the house/who keeps the revenue from that to taxes. We have a 3 year old so the thought of whoever gains primary custody and that transition if we do separate and making it as smooth as possible for her is wearing on me. I don’t believe that we will be in a situation where it will be a war between us, but also know that if we do separate that I finally need to look out for myself and my daughter. I am the breadwinner in the family and make approximately double that of my wife if that makes a difference. Thanks in advance for any advice and or links that may provide assistance!",7.3584126984127,6.7753419047619055,8.263539682539683,69.48007142857143,63.814814814814824,12.004444444444443,37.947619047619035,11.407655852321104,4.466032380952381,776,36,141,21,10,264,114,189,0.036000000000000004,0.907,0.056,0.5696,1,0,0,0,1,0,12.0,7,0,0,3,6,6,1,1,11,0,21,1,1,4,0,32,35,16,1,7,6,2,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,17,13,0,1,4,0,4,4,1,3,0,0,2,2,19,3,30,26,2,17,0,0,1,0,13,8,0,6,5,117,36,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374906596096324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258232999643107,0.13091798469935925,0.0,0.0,0.1069953698848285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772662699068391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16438492900971774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14140542698896996,0.0,0.14832445017827905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17235630509841954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08941892369009706,0.0,0.0,0.17346591856625296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398494194896854,0.0,0.0,0.08646895878103171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686749600306574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13212445954409993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150734064189419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499928402098349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650999714946631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5321255326826217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1768547265791537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18023037403026534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14485587351336687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10081596413499704,0.0,0.1249089542341304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682230837973997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892584794547483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454408191312387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013206408706042
divorce,EleanorRigby323,2018/02/09,"My (31f) marriage is probably ending after 10 years together. Advice on how to move on? I'm pretty sure my marriage is ending. We love each other but I believe it is more of a plutonic love. We have a 3 yo child. We are currently in couples therapy but I think it's just a matter of time. I feel done.

I'm sure the divorce will be pretty amicable, no lawyers and 50/50 open shared custody of our child (he works a lot so I'll let him see the child basically whenever he can. Their relationship is very important to me). We have little money, mostly his student loan debt and a house we'll need to sell.

My plan is to get a full time job, find childcare. I have the option of moving in with my parents but blahhhhh .... that would be no fun ... but maybe it's the smart thing to do. 

I only have a small amount of friends and none of them are single. What's the best way to go about meeting new people? I need a life overhaul.

Tips? Anything I should know walking into this new stage of life? Success stories of finding new love? Our biggest issue is he is done having kids and that's just not an option for me! It's it too late for me to find someone else and still have a family? I don't even remember HOW to date.

Give me your wisdom!

TLDR : Probably divorcing my husband after 10 years. Tips for moving on and success stories of finding new love!",1.0525011859582527,3.4169850257352965,3.102523719165088,88.44684060721066,84.7720588235294,5.715559772296015,22.744781783681212,7.1029339738359605,0.9344716318785582,1045,38,211,15,31,352,154,272,0.029,0.735,0.236,0.9968,4,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,7,1,2,5,9,14,0,0,15,0,27,6,0,2,2,42,42,13,0,4,7,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,4,11,14,0,0,8,0,4,5,5,0,0,0,2,2,29,14,30,33,9,34,0,0,1,4,34,11,0,4,16,140,40,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940393704858154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07919290399140536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842347773768128,0.10099231109071304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064817920170799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19696288489650685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039168807907454,0.0,0.17047064339547155,0.0,0.0,0.06356206809167653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090721448193783,0.0,0.048659122435610665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35182684785068896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435063944388061,0.0,0.05027862428355179,0.09231702984796594,0.05469236018299392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104184683084643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004439552664353,0.09549802491492916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052888038047637434,0.0,0.10855685874389312,0.0,0.0,0.09840643327597914,0.1359467358635183,0.0,0.09645238493020887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181524437308896,0.34742205744392435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09668062458349252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068465580339165,0.0,0.14271352332955334,0.0,0.3717760364516831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07319077559250411,0.0,0.0,0.10685717236364133,0.0,0.0,0.06671697808755396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19581043933782066,0.20751442389445796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1033199820204133,0.1090150804071535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07668654369172917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153929302461457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685310295739582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18140000715316948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005269081550564,0.0,0.06393401463430844,0.06166326762975455,0.0,0.0,0.11223037787076218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07940365148764117,0.0,0.07638657304975223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07005995964047519,0.0,0.0,0.0683623228280443,0.0,0.0,0.12394389813217052
divorce,sapien_curiosus,2018/02/09,"My life is a mess. Wife with Borderline Personality Disorder. 3 kids, oldest is 6 I finally want to go through with divorce. I don't know how to start. I've been a complete passive bitch about my relationship with a diagnosed borderline personality disorder (BPD) wife. We have been married for 8 years. Since we've known each other, we have separated 4 times and I've filed for divorce once.

This past summer I've shed the religion of my childhood and come to realize a lot of the reason I originally married her were based on religious beliefs. i.e. we had pre-marital sex and felt pressure by a leader and the culture to marry her. I felt like I wasn't trying my hardest (some manipulation on her part, some on religious pressure, some on me not doing 'enough’) to make the marriage work and God wanted us to stay together for the kids. And when this life is over somehow God will make us better people and it will work out. I find these reasons silly now, but also break my feeble little heart seeing the situation I'm in.

We've had ups and downs, but in the end I resent her and she resents me. There has never been a 'connection' between us. I have never really trusted her with my feelings as she's never really shown me that level of trust. There is just so much emotional and verbal abuse that has stacked and stacked. I’m not sure how much more I can experience. It can't get much worse.

2 main questions: How do I do this in a way that is best for my kids? How do I handle a high conflict confirmed mental illness divorce? (Kind of the same question I guess). I've fucked things up so much I'm ashamed to bring it up with my family or anyone close to me. Thanks for reading.",3.8323030443876362,5.4655792265861045,5.167749244712991,80.68728735765747,72.4441087613293,8.113455728561467,28.44073901928887,8.730908602173464,2.2334637694631647,1328,52,255,25,26,443,184,331,0.145,0.767,0.08800000000000001,-0.9664,0,0,0,0,4,0,39.0,6,0,0,4,14,17,4,3,16,0,26,7,1,10,4,63,46,23,0,2,6,2,3,1,0,2,4,0,0,5,12,23,0,1,12,1,0,3,8,8,0,0,9,4,37,9,40,35,15,38,1,0,1,2,28,17,2,9,16,178,49,3,0.0,0.11968273096989165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077927919149969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062995590895307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600588736384872,0.08933692667616602,0.0,0.0,0.1272211082814673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08701291456068251,0.1059091854521958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252507819206452,0.0,0.0,0.2315370618182376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11362493128455678,0.08946667141022048,0.10437242312864793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09880914227391867,0.09522514649731337,0.0,0.051074714465143035,0.0,0.1939747679055088,0.11065373499113193,0.09232316005556704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338398860983348,0.0527746134834375,0.0,0.0574074611285397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11127613276085913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11969973493224376,0.0,0.10672474942427453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10518847896849576,0.05551356676189927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269555982818005,0.049349372669007865,0.10124058497584493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587681067986729,0.0,0.0,0.1348526209382616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10179636202802464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2970218412729793,0.0,0.2337201005777149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757450900846967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1093861785685137,0.0964274067681774,0.0700290189225699,0.17639960648663505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22631316939689736,0.0,0.10103935940500827,0.0,0.12942177841974367,0.20771436864169027,0.0,0.108449111206625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049350515017421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355819017880388,0.11354174734509445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07149683057584738,0.10766537763095144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09520263730180407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299830041322928,0.0,0.0,0.06710790040199788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890092357963781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06858053377184578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.364515083189765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915901791068208,0.08017864302114235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14707591320874214,0.0,0.10293988227358253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504843172186507
divorce,Jsnoby,2018/02/09,"Elevator pitch? How do you tell acquaintances you are getting divorced? Leaving this marriage will be a relief for me and I'm usually pretty private so this is a surprise to most people I tell.

",2.5800000000000023,5.569205888888893,4.262444444444443,77.32700000000003,87.33333333333331,6.213333333333335,32.2,7.554174236665415,3.0038400000000003,156,9,24,3,5,52,31,36,0.0,0.763,0.237,0.8411,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,1,0,3,7,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1949990008569908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3952001867190868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587529840494621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37971245805083226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6524447311368011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.411063763107739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,heallunation,2018/02/09,"Ethics of an affair Couldn't help but overhear(because I was really trying to listen in on) an argument an office-mate was having with his sister.  Seems she's cheating on her husband(he has no idea).  She's says it's not unethical because she told him 8 or 9 weeks prior that she wanted a divorce.  Office-mate disagrees because 1. she still goes home to the house (for which he helps provide) every night, 2. the husband's desperately trying to salvage the marriage, and 3. they've got kids.  It's a fault-divorce state so legally there may be an issue, but is there really one ethically if she told the dude it's over? ",3.2962954545454544,5.5454190083333375,4.496212121212125,82.25727272727276,75.58333333333334,6.696969696969697,25.07575757575757,7.686295010490155,1.489916666666666,491,17,89,7,11,161,88,120,0.154,0.7709999999999999,0.075,-0.865,0,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,1,0,10,0,8,0,0,0,0,12,14,6,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,1,5,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,5,2,10,0,10,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,22,4,0,4,4,55,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3833294689040327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17660571303640016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16764450030399788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809947232240268,0.0,0.2102562153697065,0.0,0.0,0.24186213635451884,0.0,0.2366245079708934,0.0,0.2187786883772292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19670506144311933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14203735990996075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26856344331320336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666905188578068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19082133916291727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739505148059194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005832369642109,0.0,0.2846232607666682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363358216313343,0.0,0.16813673427598874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,words_I_couldnt_say,2018/02/10,"Question on Abandonment State of VA. My husband had an affair 2-3 mos ago and we decided to work it out and are doing counseling. Several things have come to light, though, such as his excessive and irresponsible drinking and porn addiction. He refuses to see those as problems and refuses help for that and his depression which he blamed for his infidelity. We have an 18 mo old and I'm pregnant. He drinks when he's sole responsible for our 18 mo old. He drinks (although not drunk) and drives. He binges on vodka, tequila, and rum a couple of nights a week and drinks multiple beers daily. I'm really thinking about giving him an ultimatum. I do not want my children around this. My question, though, is if I take my daughter and leave does that count me as abandoning the marriage? Should I insist he leave? If I make him leave, does that give him right to go cheat/do whatever he wants? If I keep a log of his drinking habits and refusal to get help, does that help me if we do end up in divorce court?",3.793596153846156,5.652762728205133,4.654407051282053,83.40007211538463,73.0,8.362179487179487,28.08493589743589,9.017664075816787,2.2955705128205124,792,31,156,17,16,256,119,195,0.118,0.818,0.064,-0.8449,0,0,8,0,1,0,26.0,4,0,0,1,6,4,0,0,7,0,9,9,0,1,0,39,23,23,0,8,6,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,9,18,7,6,4,10,0,3,2,4,0,0,1,2,22,0,21,21,0,18,0,3,1,1,35,7,0,6,7,91,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227255951721278,0.0,0.0,0.09979275717175223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10021743705599594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697515532422206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245643581559676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09696244320735446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29555079006409496,0.0,0.0,0.5514132239306189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09970984652280122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05881685914753473,0.21598831785311529,0.06398012855697302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263740591118993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006364948630043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3576085048925412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514605117753098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10564592980211278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23626134077815944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772102743598792,0.0,0.0,0.2522241079383165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211973721348502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614018063494556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970932882710675,0.0,0.0,0.12718001616259098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464392685120757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07479118585813661,0.07213482426054563,0.2212127486801808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328017148777543,0.0,0.0903025143133598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195742896258698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mmmgluten,2018/02/10,"Practical question re. division of assets I'm finally escaping from an emotionally abusive relationship. My jurisdiction is fairly permissive with respect to separation date, and I will try to set our separation date to at least three months prior to the actual move-out day. Without getting into details, my reasons for the chosen date are totally valid from a legal standpoint.

My question is this: is there any simple way to calculate what the asset division should be *today* to reflect the financial balances from three months ago?

For example, assume family assets of $200,000 at the date of separation and $240,000 today. The division would be $100,000 each, plus each of our net earnings since the date of separation. So if STBX earned $30,000 and spent $12,000 since the separation, he/she would walk away today with $118,000. I earned $25,000 and spent $3,000, so I would walk away with $122,000. Is that correct?

Is there a simple trick to this calculation, or do we have to go over our financial records and classify each transaction as 1)mine, 2)STBX's, or 3)shared? The obvious answer is that it all has to be counted out transaction by transaction, but if there's a not-obvious trick I'm all ears.",6.822639517345401,8.264556995475116,7.13518552036199,70.1485399698341,65.01809954751131,11.142202111613877,36.452790346908,11.072351349416056,4.547553604826546,980,48,162,29,15,318,124,221,0.024,0.929,0.047,0.3657,0,0,0,0,0,0,49.0,4,0,0,3,5,3,2,0,13,0,18,1,1,1,5,36,24,14,0,6,6,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,6,15,0,0,6,0,2,6,1,2,0,2,2,1,10,1,33,14,7,29,0,0,0,0,10,7,0,7,14,104,16,4,0.0,0.1878233964204877,0.15469522110167652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052074804579684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780082533843384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978744609305189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10223398301597382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17831662378492022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14944102875011545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17365379419588442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0828215321367568,0.0,0.09009206459160744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2530625040110566,0.16848446982119086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551632535984145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629876670070058,0.0,0.17019398070667147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2622631176770213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.450782757064893,0.0,0.0,0.1076264610355398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258278862002678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15281015979583487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378297873733856,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,MrFrustration,2018/02/10,"Why can't I just do it? I don't see how my marriage could continue. My wife isn't even close to the person I married at this point.

She moved my 29 year old recovering drug addict step-son (her bio son) into our house yet again for nearly two years now. Was supposed to only be 4 weeks.

He gets plenty of disability money to move out but she won't let him, she has control of his money funds.

She cut off sex 3 years ago and shows no interest in Intimacy of any kind.

According to her he'll have to live with us the rest of our lives. ""Saving"" him is the number one thing in the world to her, even more important than our marriage.

So why can't I get the courage to end this marriage? Mortgage, pets, finances, new place to live. Terrifying at my age. I'm 50, she's 47.",2.1395747730530346,3.5035242857142883,3.8250931677018656,89.69691352126137,76.32919254658384,6.941423793597706,22.943621595795516,7.61054688173877,0.7847760152890588,594,17,135,8,13,199,112,161,0.087,0.836,0.077,-0.3844,1,0,1,0,0,0,24.0,4,0,0,1,8,5,1,0,5,0,13,3,0,2,0,11,18,4,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,1,4,5,0,1,0,1,4,2,6,1,0,2,1,1,23,4,23,12,2,27,0,0,1,1,23,12,0,0,13,83,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16978734220110986,0.0,0.0,0.13806041834507726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591337756982536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468363056605726,0.12435139639478802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18061720453120528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1379457138394212,0.0,0.0,0.20573899837229412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16274287653314154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17971125728191728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16218665107657582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15926197513262766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4125826623370791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33106906576644746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15042153216299894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634303955068727,0.0,0.10553827446974973,0.11845269759610785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359923715403368,0.16272258389999655,0.0,0.14723136360871142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12411028433667022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10347146126373992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521422983651892,0.0,0.18734460018558327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12493093944941927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28107508896166866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008881030187445
divorce,aeast0228,2018/02/10,"The most amicable divorce Even the most amicable divorces suck. I’m having the worst time and I’m struggling. I know this was the best decision for us but it still sucks and I still miss him. I miss the good times. I just don’t miss the misery of the bad for the last two years. Nothing seemed to get better. He was everything to me except what I needed from him and what he needed from me. It will get better but right now it’s hard. I’m alone and I’m lost. Being an adult sucks. My family lives too far away and cannot help much. It’s making me think I should move home. But damn I don’t want to. I have my dog and everything will be fine one day. 

If you have any support or love to spare, help me! ",-0.5984000000000016,1.5784849600000044,1.3376666666666672,98.8305,92.73333333333332,4.6000000000000005,14.166666666666668,6.2581,-0.8163333333333331,544,10,130,6,20,178,90,150,0.249,0.601,0.15,-0.9331,0,1,0,0,2,0,16.0,1,1,0,4,6,18,4,1,9,0,13,1,0,1,0,24,35,11,0,5,7,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,7,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,3,11,0,2,3,1,18,7,11,27,5,12,0,4,0,1,12,3,4,5,8,82,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672491562526226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094707282918994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512443623471732,0.0,0.13441011236648948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893673889339106,0.2847443558229468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10381765206161384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632461406970348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2893537373359651,0.0,0.15175596478604372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16820898008522506,0.0,0.0,0.1350209162106122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14420489016292334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580065167738585,0.0,0.16147430733006646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088469434729661,0.13121875696832744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14214674155734647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17572677296408026,0.0,0.14528915313040633,0.0,0.10745423003885797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17109440080162813,0.11833753410444957,0.2387266611378465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15446296981914154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908302646903233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747454355943214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14654855035294814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2571148723549587,0.0,0.0,0.16828941612363987,0.0,0.0,0.18267620727170436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314836080465804,0.0,0.0,0.18773542101863092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572523564840571,0.0,0.19363701068214675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09494914101551533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103664713333355
divorce,HonestElection,2018/02/10,"I'm divorcing a narcissist. I posted another text only about 10 minutes ago for my first time in reddit. It was there one that says I'm afraid, it's not even a month after filing for divorce and STBX isn't following temporary orders Is there any advice on how to deal with a narcissist when you're trying to divorce him? Every day I hear more and more lies. I feel like the courts will believe him and I'll walk away when this is finalized with him getting away with everything.",3.5458157894736813,5.4746122526315775,4.5675657894736865,83.46608552631581,73.84210526315789,8.118421052631579,25.559210526315788,8.841846274778883,2.002078947368421,384,13,73,8,8,125,70,95,0.039,0.93,0.032,-0.1513,0,0,0,0,2,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,1,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,9,11,6,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,4,6,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,2,1,3,7,1,13,9,2,17,0,0,0,0,9,4,0,0,10,47,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21832941068690745,0.19805376741636824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15193741768235153,0.23428175918175356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4198323736874933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25172471781554084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14409135857785002,0.230342510734738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1475708397111192,0.0,0.1882461355432748,0.0,0.20080098275374847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11297095536716086,0.15961565896563767,0.0,0.24475238457621,0.0,0.1900461366229852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11673092188161847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25181746619752243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109154712572944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1783365908886105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513993157192396,0.16992562604658695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21398045449382666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17767741182992206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13028156257909249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169166388747535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,toulouse92,2018/02/11,"The Divorce Diaries #1 - Brace for Impact Started a blog about my divorce on Steemit and thought I'd share it here, too. I first posted my introduction, which outlines what the blog will look like. It's actually going to be edited journal entries from when I first started down this path with my husband, and I'm hoping it can lend itself to giving some insight & comfort to others. Looking back over the journal, though it's only been a few months, I've seen myself become stronger & healthier. Here's the text! 

As promised, here’s the first of my journal entries chronically the death of a marriage. You’ll notice is starts out just after Thanksgiving of 2017. You’ll also notice that I was feeling some really sharp feelings of sadness, shock, and remorse. For quite some time when this all started happening, I was overcome with guilt. I took on the lion’s share of the blame. Stick with me, though. I’ll get to a better place in time.

I also want to call out that the text in bold is info I’ve added to clarify some things that might come across as blurry. I’ve also changed the names of people & towns.

Monday, November 27
I wanted to start documenting the place I’m at in my life, particularly in my marriage, as I watch from the sidelines as my husband falls out of love with me. He has so much going on; a business that isn’t taking off, a job at a wedding studio he hates, another job with other people that are stimulating and fun; when you’re around cool people that you don’t really know that well, it can make the people waiting for you at home seem boring & not so very cool anymore. I get that. I understand that I don’t make him laugh the way Mike (a work friend) does, or have the same entrepreneurial spirit that James (a work friend) does. I’m also not as skinny as Sally (a work friend) or as talented as Amanda (a work friend). Being around those things at work probably makes it hard to remember what he liked about me- not my talents or anything, just the way I was when we were doing nothing.

We don’t have the money right now to see a counselor or doctor, because I foolishly quit my job when I was unhappy and didn’t want to compromise my integrity. How I wish I had stayed in it and could be of some help to Joe now. Who cares about a billing report or a boss that wants me to lie? It means nothing to me now; there’s nothing more important to me than Joe.

I didn’t say “I love you” this morning, in hopes that at some point during the day, he’d say it to me. He still hasn’t.

Sometimes I wish I was dead; that way, he wouldn’t have to admit to anyone that he stopped loving me, but he would be free of me.

Other times, I think I’m being dramatic (as I have a tendency to do) and that things aren’t so bad.

It would be very hard for something to happen to our relationship- explaining it to his grandmother, mother, little brothers, cousins- all those people who were asked to welcome me into their lives with open arms. (Important to note that “Joe” is extremely close with his family, codependent in fact- we don’t figure that out until later in journaling. He’s one of eight siblings, his parents were divorced when he was a teenager and has a complex & difficult relationship with his dad, but remains close with his father’s family. We’ll say their last name is “Jones”. It’s important as I will say things like “Grandma Jones”.) What would they feel? Those people who cheered us on from the beginning, and have always looked at us as the happiest couple.

Grandma Jones always reminds us to communicate; it’s what she didn’t do in her marriage and wishes she had. I try to, but again, Joe doesn’t really want to face the music about what he’s dealing with, so our conversations are short.

He says my vehement rejection to the idea of staying in Smithtown, is what started the spiral. He didn’t say outright that’s when he stopped loving me, but it is. (This is a made up town name. I’ll refer to the town throughout my journaling, but I’m really talking about the home that’s there. Joe’s mother purchased a dilapidated double block before we were married, and all her children took on the responsibility of fixing it up. However, the fixing up only ever got about halfway done. The house, thought split into 2, was really like one big house with several siblings living there with his mother. We lived there when we first got married, in the attic while 2 of his siblings living in the bedrooms below. Another 3 siblings lived next door with his mom. We lived there for about a year and a half, though we agreed on staying one year. We moved to a tiny apartment a few minutes away and stayed again for a little over a year, until he said he wanted to move back to Smithtown. I reacted strongly, as I didn’t want to go back to living with his family, but I compromised and we went.)

I compromised, and here we are, living in Smithtown, with his mother & brothers, and it’s been fine. I’m happy in our home and have tried to make it comfortable and happy and pretty. I like being here, but I know I’ve held grudgey feelings, too.

I thought maybe that’s why Joe stopped being intimate with me, because there is so little time where the house is empty, but that’s not it. I don’t really know what it is, honestly.

Honesty is another problem we’re having issue with. When he didn’t come home one night when he said he would, and wasn’t answering his phone, I panicked. I called the office where I thought he might be, but his boss answered and said he wasn’t there. He hadn’t seen Joe at all, actually.

I called in the big guns and spoke with his friend James, and his brother Andrew (this is a fake name), until finally I heard back from him. Where had he been? Out for drinks with his boss. Only I knew that wasn’t true, because I’d spoken to his boss. It turns out, he was simply with his friends getting a few drinks and thought I’d be mad. Now, I know the earth-shattering and gut-slicing feeling of realizing your husband wasn’t injured in an accident or mugged, he was just lying to you.

He thought I would be mad, he lied, he made excuses to desperately spend time with people other than me- where do I start with the problems in this situation?

He tells me he doesn’t feel appreciated. So I’ve tried more and more to express to him how important he is to me. He’s everything to me, in fact. The future is a terrifying mystery, and he’s the only person in the world I saw myself navigating through it with. He felt the same about me at one time, and I don’t know how to bring that back.

I love him so much, and I am realizing that I’ve taken our time together for granted. Curling up in bed watching movies, eating Chinese & laughing together, walking our dogs in woods- all of these moments I didn’t appreciate enough. So now, it’s not the future that’s the scariest thing to me, it’s that I might not have him with me to go through it. It’s not just the little moments, either, that I took for granted. It’s the big moments when he fought for his family or friends and wanted to give so much of himself, just because it’s how much he loves. It’s all the times he worked to make me smile when I was upset.

Maybe I’m not attractive to him anymore. I’ve gained weight, and my skin isn’t pretty the way it used to be. Maybe I’m just boring him to death, and his trip around the country made him see all that he’s missing out on. (He went on a 2 week excursion with his business partners that started a side project they’ve built a music app and rented an RV to do some promoting.)

Is that the answer- I let him go? That’s what you’re supposed to do if you truly love someone. It hurts me to think about, though. I’m aching just imagining him in his new life, without me, and happy. That’s selfish of me, though. I want him to be happy again; as happy as he was when we first met. That just might not include me anymore and I have to accept that.

The worst part is going through it alone. I can’t talk to anyone about this, mostly because I can’t say the words out loud. The most important thing I’ve ever done in my life & I’ve failed at it. It was my one job to be a good wife & I haven’t done that. How do I admit that to someone?

Maybe I admit that to Joe first, and we go from there? But he doesn’t want to talk about it. I walk on eggshells around him now, and don’t want to bring up anything that makes him unhappy. So I’m constantly thinking about this with no one to talk to about it, not even the person who was supposed to be my partner in all things. It’s fear, too, that he won’t deny everything I’m thinking. I want him to say that he loves me and this is just a rough patch and we’ll work through it together like we always do, but what if that isn’t what he says?

Even now, I’m imagining it and I feel crushed. What if he says “I’m sorry, but I stopped loving you. I’m not in love with you anymore and I want us to be apart”? What if he looks at our life, and our families, and our dogs, and our stupid collection of pots and pans and DVDs and blankets, and it’s not worth staying with someone you don’t love anymore?

Wednesday, November 29
“I don’t know if I feel the way about you that I used to.” What does that mean? The answer is simply this: Joe is too gentle to say he doesn’t love me anymore. But he doesn’t say he does love me, either.

This morning when I said it, he said it back, but I told him not to. “What do you want me to say? I’m trying?”

The light at the end of the tunnel is this: I told him that we loved each other once, and maybe we could get back to that place with a little help. He agreed to get the help, so I’ve called every therapist in the area and am waiting for a call back. My mother told me she’d pay for whatever it costs to see someone.

At least he agreed to put in the effort & give it one more try. But that could be because he can’t tell me to my face that it won’t work.

I am hoping beyond all hope that it does work; my whole life depends on this. My value isn’t tied up in Joe; I realize I need to be an independent person again. My happiness isn’t tied up in Joe, either. It’s my contentedness, my sense of safety and support. My motivation to be better and try new things and listen to new music and meet people and make friends and be more considerate and learn to show compassion. That’s what I’ll lose. Not to mention my family- I’ll lose a grandmother and a nephew and siblings; little boys I have grown to love. I know he resents me for a lot of things- Smithtown, quitting my job, being lazy. But these are things I’m trying to fix, so maybe we can be fixed, right?

My mom says that it’s hard to have a relationship when you aren’t around much, and he’s not. Even when he is, he’s on his phone with his music app business, thinking about work, inventing new projects. He’s not really with me, so we’ve fallen into a rut of watching tv, eating macaroni, and pretending grocery trips to Walmart are dates.

I will do anything to fix this, I will. But I can’t think about it now, because I have to smile at my mother when she comes to pick me up.",4.1831241655540685,4.848550582109482,5.0297700934579455,85.68263644859816,70.54873164218958,7.9501664441477535,27.307547841566528,8.021203637495839,1.5228380204717404,8646,277,1823,110,150,2814,623,2247,0.085,0.768,0.147,0.9993,10,1,3,1,3,0,308.0,32,14,3,29,123,94,6,3,102,2,169,33,5,27,14,349,343,152,3,38,58,20,16,6,10,20,8,23,9,7,153,132,6,8,57,7,9,27,60,26,1,16,73,55,236,69,283,222,44,251,1,7,13,15,281,116,0,32,103,1206,389,30,0.0,0.0,0.044808229810899984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02377800853840584,0.0,0.07343938948904942,0.057309756254513976,0.24875448223627555,0.0,0.0,0.07222174374915019,0.0,0.0,0.13661155469195813,0.03210613472605619,0.0,0.056678492632678074,0.1021893463736187,0.02146303194976903,0.0,0.02157019978561572,0.14122891806027815,0.019169329236200943,0.09796671655836163,0.025355781072284117,0.019535932106137008,0.0,0.0,0.04060972949741297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11721561454822682,0.0,0.023407648458992326,0.0,0.02428697369714966,0.0593299611016315,0.0,0.024809905611747816,0.0,0.05499131222325314,0.02540306500613327,0.0,0.014806287398020191,0.023669132192111586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0234989249078204,0.10045537963611792,0.07048333157304879,0.0,0.04498104009884455,0.0,0.04698440887894301,0.0,0.0,0.02033435366638979,0.023722194326250032,0.0,0.04549147747433095,0.041534426840809865,0.019343466616802717,0.0,0.04126711122444688,0.0,0.12985898164904422,0.025834615442028808,0.09286777218587336,0.0,0.022043692197181133,0.02514983676434847,0.0,0.11717056784649753,0.0,0.0,0.14190100232253933,0.0,0.059974157877111335,0.06607145125877087,0.09133462992350992,0.01925644098531399,0.0367239059186333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04060412587694842,0.1466380474494872,0.06169872865218565,0.022666695533848664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04616565303633232,0.0,0.09211670478952023,0.0912116009944627,0.0,0.07947283380597002,0.024577473076151837,0.02591727182522658,0.0,0.023962635083161626,0.11391349116674115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08832146512418161,0.01871418385122954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02347654912804658,0.08108108680117446,0.06729797239006971,0.13806226348927356,0.16218170736060125,0.0,0.07711719250919,0.051369219012321735,0.0,0.01951843532994716,0.3108131778669587,0.06517146187860208,0.1072745074027348,0.0,0.13838896648550475,0.050016919338233344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09742106029092663,0.0,0.05377726912377325,0.01832519898723351,0.04880235336005311,0.08438543470833046,0.017023384194235974,0.0,0.08869357514371848,0.0244165496933658,0.0215449303647208,0.0,0.06608769543747599,0.052276647155398114,0.0,0.02444997759709395,0.12445780524397113,0.06984367918704687,0.0,0.0,0.02549261845151664,0.024861741318487517,0.0,0.1273318714319947,0.0601392439503699,0.07196001554023779,0.0,0.021703136219871483,0.0,0.021987828680807574,0.046713951983267735,0.024753069515657897,0.04393623188837937,0.0,0.023079562300126172,0.0,0.07325734573365507,0.0,0.0,0.10295430248641688,0.0,0.0,0.0739462823637326,0.02600742457252749,0.039212745837183344,0.10919361700561772,0.2556044990842685,0.0,0.0,0.05488468641242065,0.02090049149831692,0.0,0.02593648990680084,0.0,0.0,0.02580623611030277,0.0,0.0,0.07781040953654064,0.017674520287335696,0.022706473321085455,0.025700081625094174,0.13000075366963054,0.12235315295987848,0.018334631051632053,0.07677709859925896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026052953153283973,0.0,0.0,0.017261881392134026,0.07381246230383205,0.040133357749853465,0.0,0.0,0.026656505583393008,0.15252560077105962,0.08826500567372055,0.1127826996040046,0.10935856884144796,0.10709795658797952,0.0,0.0,0.06581328829835965,0.0765229780891879,0.10911086379492084,0.024972178067187125,0.0,0.023900534255776283,0.11046465313439502,0.0396574226401041,0.0,0.0378862166433366,0.18958066754689604,0.09111666154469633,0.01841586690831161,0.027957181478538474,0.020642384862549608,0.042565387377147414,0.0207164112123548,0.02563226607961036,0.07920318093201807,0.022131106277264025,0.0,0.1671400974157714,0.0,0.0,0.08154504624098181,0.0,0.0,0.04435342665241846
divorce,CuddleFuckk,2018/02/11,"Overbearing, Negative Mom I’ve had a lot of change happen in my life in the past year. I found out that half of my marriage was a complete illusion/lie. My soon to be ex is in jail. My stepdaughter, who was with us full time and I raised like my own moved halfway across the country back to Mom after her dad got arrested. Our youngest was diagnosed with severe autism. My husband has left me penniless with three kids, 7, 4 and 2. Drained all our accounts, maxed out credit cards, etc. Gamblkng and drugs. Stole from family, friends. Everything we took ten years to build is just gone. We had such a beautiful life. 

If it weren’t for his mother who has taken me and the kids in, I’d be in a shelter with three kids. I can’t work because my son’s needs. He has 5 hours a day of therapy in my home, M-F with 5 different therapists. Lots of testing with specialists, meetings with therapists, etc. My girls miss out because so much of my time is dedicated to my son. Can’t do anything as a family because of how my son acts outside of the home (he gets overstimulated and hits/bites himself, bangs his head, screams, and is a bolter. For safety reasons, we only leave the house for medical. I’m doing okay. Day by day. My mother is very negative and inserts her opinion where it’s not needed, every time I see her. She also says things like, “If you did this differently, this would have happened...” or “It’s your husbands fault your son has autism...” and dwells on what can’t be changed when I’m trying like hell to move forward and heal with my kids. It’s exhausting. I love my mom, and don’t want to cut her out of my life, but this cannot keep happening. She makes me feel like shit. NONE of this is my fault. My husband led a double life and screwed us over royally. I can’t change anything, and I NEED to focus on healing myself and my children, and focus on my son, who I will need to care for for the rest of my life. I’ve tried telling her this, having my dad talk to her, etc, but she just gets angrier at me. Guilt trips about why I don’t go to family functions, visit her anymore (doesn’t understand autism AT ALL) Why don’t you come see me, I miss my grandkids...” She’s always welcome in my home, but criticizes about our clutter and my children’s mismatched clothes (no time to clean - I’ve learned to embrace the mess. And the clothes are clean and they do look nice when they go to school - who cares when we’re home??) Will take my girls overnight once a month to give me a break, but complains about how rambunctious they are. She hasn’t been supportive at all during the darkest period of my life, and it really hurts. I’m about ready to cut her out completely, but it breaks my heart, and my kids adore her and they need there Nana. I love my mom, but I want her to just listen sometimes instead of judge me.  Tried telling her “I need support, not judgment and anger.” and she just rolls her eyes. It always has to be someone’s fault, and THEY MUST PAY! I’m a lover, not a fighter. Just want to move on with my life, not dwell on what was or what never came to pass. Anger serves no purpose. Her mother was the same way with her, and she didn’t talk to her for YEARS until she got sick and decided to put the drama aside and salvaged a little bit of a relationship before my grandmother passed. She doesn’t realize she’s doing the same to me.

I don’t know what to do, and it hurts that she’s not been supportive at all in what is the most trying, difficult time in my life. I’m so, so tired.",2.88526439512038,4.4110989111424574,3.7073149729047614,90.63746913122014,74.6981664315938,7.175720683938337,25.132531611115237,7.85451343220497,1.1759181006111894,2724,90,594,39,57,868,306,709,0.134,0.755,0.111,-0.949,3,1,1,0,1,0,107.0,8,4,5,1,24,40,7,3,27,1,53,24,4,5,6,102,102,48,0,13,20,19,1,4,2,4,16,3,6,9,25,47,0,1,8,1,3,17,25,22,0,4,19,8,102,18,86,75,19,72,1,4,4,4,97,30,3,8,28,382,127,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04707124649725995,0.09795439684789717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05837445191214832,0.0,0.0,0.09687543488103163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045260596941290886,0.0,0.10764364610006806,0.0,0.05008650982093631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12852227846932832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06732148354670295,0.12002574620517276,0.0,0.18680190021048035,0.05070367538216289,0.1234296078063772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11388173164354608,0.0,0.0,0.05974283598506475,0.0,0.12299476354611268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826025567946974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19693725003254495,0.0,0.0,0.049593063971034655,0.0,0.05290061309579455,0.0,0.16646718273704533,0.0,0.029761969881737974,0.04205042277769362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06453822121429459,0.04547598437980263,0.0,0.06150505092246258,0.05646498589329084,0.06690430468331574,0.0,0.09415328966458417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15615218192231325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06040852918110842,0.0,0.0,0.06975075520660537,0.0,0.0,0.2361701614259407,0.0,0.05796638359626026,0.06791787306409809,0.12602417329406776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231850141559554,0.0,0.0,0.032348552885656724,0.0,0.0,0.062325467058547614,0.06395281999924828,0.0,0.33260301096836603,0.11502635372029675,0.05899434333435175,0.0,0.0,0.04942854785466323,0.0,0.0,0.10008330265803927,0.10624898572287364,0.0,0.039290279787829716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059296423812560166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757499057098856,0.046982414458553085,0.1876802860677357,0.043269723515624206,0.26186881536990697,0.045397353445790115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626852118642355,0.0,0.044766562769142405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05618963524440633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05917172098714672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03770796480906562,0.0605190733639561,0.0,0.06319485513003907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04680875506771588,0.0,0.059570633977014176,0.09380944371563588,0.0,0.0,0.06649635396867021,0.060420132457974014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04987286785510912,0.0,0.05821518998001163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20038483245441305,0.0,0.0,0.04425626518242031,0.09462073777700623,0.10289449237253036,0.0,0.06731286355995282,0.13668468148238902,0.039104737667285526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716120718384148,0.06765224187894586,0.0,0.0,0.06539691191882227,0.15985144915370375,0.0,0.0,0.06127654095150691,0.14160545051096204,0.0,0.0,0.0485666194905666,0.10415350744492696,0.04672124717177654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622607900200556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04285162379356077,0.0,0.0,0.041813277577009984,0.0,0.0,0.11371396704028633
divorce,bgraham2479,2018/02/11,"Tired of being married yet single My wife of 17 years is totally neglecting me, the kids, and household chores. She works overnight, sleeps most of the day, and spends all of her spare time with her horses.
We've talked about it a few times, I've been pretty clear I need a partner, sex, and an emotional connection. It seems that I ask her on dates at least twice a week and always get turned down. She claims the marriage is important to her, and that she wants to work on it, but I'm not seeing any effort from her.
I told her we would try to work it out for two months a month ago. But I'm done now.
I can't wait to be divorced so I don't have to be single anymore.  Now my biggest challenge is finding time with her so I can tell her.",1.5948701298701309,3.3870706948052,2.5688311688311707,96.23753246753249,79.06493506493507,5.698701298701298,20.740259740259734,6.5431188927421005,0.052901298701299115,573,15,132,5,14,181,101,154,0.028,0.916,0.056,0.274,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,1,0,0,5,6,2,0,0,8,0,13,3,1,0,3,23,24,9,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,6,9,0,2,2,0,1,0,3,1,0,2,3,1,21,1,19,17,7,19,0,1,1,1,21,6,0,2,13,89,27,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126011290980746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15137108339290342,0.0,0.0,0.1237110783112306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041464830067047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17006959782055306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173226293885247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18616617760459034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046342571125532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662705627952451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950451076405022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29041183268368065,0.0,0.0,0.1348905462301018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850769044419296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14496579617320404,0.16561211816156746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18205026206321093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14621950672598866,0.15900512163612104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182350898794509,0.2090889939953651,0.0,0.1738312881166289,0.0,0.12351097969545202,0.19787550475297375,0.17770831427878864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1073004702081962,0.0,0.1459243543010749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3973173391398813,0.0,0.0,0.12922995456484346,0.0,0.0,0.11714979583490115
divorce,CakeHobbyist,2018/02/11,"""Moving on"" - seriously, how? I am in the final 90 period between court judgement and final decree. 40F, STBXH  is 41M, one tween child. Married just about 14 yrs  before separation , which was just about 1 yr ago. Together 5 yrs before that, so together nearly 19 years.
Marriage was not perfect, I knew. He felt OK about complaining about what wasn't,  but less and less appreciated what was. Lots of different ""reasons "" over the years, ranging from sexual compatibility,  money, housekeeping,  child rearing, .....nearly everything,  I guess. I feel, still, as though I accepted what he was, physically,  lifestyle,  .... but maybe I have convinced myself of status that was never true.
Year 10, I found out he had spent time in a hotel with a coworker. We immediately started counseling,  but after the third visit, where the counselor told me I should consider solo counseling  ( I still don't know why. I think because I couldn't answer a question about why I loved my child. Is there an answer?  Don't you just do that, because parenting?) He decided WE didn't need counseling then, because I was resistant to solo......I just pulled a bit of an ostrich,  and kept ahead with life. He said he dropped AP, made efforts to spend couple time.....but I know my trust was ruined, and that carried to intimacy,  and holding myself back from engaging? I think.
He begins to treat me with disdain all the time, at home and in public. Friends even call him on it, sort of jokey, but they do. He makes his own life schedule,  goes out when or wherever,  while I am home with child. Year four - I say he can't treat me this way. It's not ok. He says he knows he iz, and no, it's not. Doesn't really stop. Several months later, he says he's done, this ""isn't the life he wants "", listening to fights about homework and sitting around watching TV on weekdays....he's moving out. I accept this. You can't MAKE someone be happy. That's on them, and honestly,  I know I couldn't have. He makes plans, tells me he'll stay close by, makes some financial changes, so that two separate lives are more possible while keeping child in our home. We tell child, with a week until hi so apt is ready.
And then the husband of the current AP sends a GROUP TEXT asking who else knew they were f €@{}ing around. Literally two hours after we told child. I had ZERO idea this was happening,  with someone I thought was my friend. Completely shattered.  Told him that day to get out.  Retained attorney several weeks later, filed. He was incensed, insisted we could do mediation.....we have a home and a child, no way I was doing this without attorney. Back and forth ensues, discussion of final settlements and my desire for him to keep child away from AP.

It's nearly done, but I'm stuck. He has child approx 29 hours weekly, two dinners and one overnight, 24 hours. Since day after judgment,  AP is in the mix nearly every time. It infuriates me - woman scorned and all that, maybe, but really? They are not any sort of example I want Child to see as acceptable. At all. And I can't do  anything at all. 

So, now what, on moving on? I'd block him out entirely,  but not an option with child. I'm seeing that after separation social life can be exactly the barren wasteland I've seen mention of......I'm very discouraged.  ",3.3561514762516027,5.664737092682928,4.389602053915277,82.80856225930683,75.6341463414634,7.632862644415917,25.911424903722722,8.532816995589336,1.9746585365853664,2532,93,474,51,57,822,308,615,0.084,0.809,0.107,0.9483,3,0,0,0,1,0,154.0,6,2,4,4,27,22,1,0,21,2,49,6,0,7,8,111,92,38,0,8,18,2,2,0,2,2,4,6,5,13,25,36,1,8,21,2,3,6,20,5,0,8,32,12,53,17,70,53,11,85,0,2,4,1,79,29,0,8,45,291,78,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260198115229293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048025258404110205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05811573937610421,0.1257367825785748,0.06602186718854015,0.0,0.06635152334530832,0.10860763862695136,0.0,0.12915121547433786,0.0,0.12018793224874227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07710073506992897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211277282946435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07470852000767947,0.0,0.07404563321320068,0.0,0.0,0.05638577563853514,0.07814169908249291,0.0,0.09109046125777813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07378476939638517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445412796915906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05899546748425345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04664504516494256,0.0,0.059501928102672005,0.0,0.06347033687718258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035708513455256004,0.0,0.06780802087950175,0.2320882510758897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0774331789786204,0.10912448380062442,0.0,0.03689698543406208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779789521196026,0.0,0.0624506409958427,0.07517823915523328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833577690091969,0.0,0.20864479705051536,0.0,0.0,0.07972343713315941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554383457688836,0.0,0.0,0.15524761842922466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199529116177726,0.0,0.0,0.06236035971543812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060040144752044174,0.06373894858721264,0.06682407236625884,0.1885624493324111,0.0,0.1418982180934546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05636966187117477,0.22517945038470952,0.0,0.05236518367962621,0.054467900236224026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09571034404208538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841717207676578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07961548939926405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911259944513235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048429079830853,0.07261099161458648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717752176536075,0.16848391421680733,0.0,0.0,0.1125528920451367,0.0,0.0,0.15956510673527136,0.0,0.05841909816907481,0.0,0.0,0.07199005049348267,0.11967527552328615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049986486725602366,0.07527346214385303,0.11279735119201201,0.059043002623125174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345316455718686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050321960762292,0.06938557825238424,0.0560658354706234,0.16472060151062942,0.0,0.0,0.20244652244121386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20696176519438397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05827039649748893,0.08330915677037383,0.11211262493101476,0.169945689224322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745041361222886,0.0,0.0,0.06807691302853026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18191254312101926
divorce,dstock145,2018/02/11,"Frustration will never leave My wife and I recently finalized our divorce, 50/50 custody so we didn't have to worry about child support. This was her weekend with the kiddos but instead she chose to spend the weekend with the ""man"" that ruined our marriage in the first place....really wish I would've fought for full custody but didn't feel like going through court..😠",3.3916176470588217,6.399453455882355,3.169117647058826,87.48102941176472,80.61764705882355,5.752941176470588,26.14705882352941,7.1686216300943375,1.5207588235294118,297,12,51,4,8,89,56,68,0.162,0.726,0.112,-0.6846,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,3,0,0,1,3,5,2,0,4,0,5,0,0,0,1,9,10,4,0,1,2,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,2,1,1,3,3,0,1,4,1,8,2,8,5,1,9,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,0,7,35,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122197772562293,0.21366018855301908,0.0,0.3276234986982823,0.0,0.2543941718987697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16997196947599774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3166786482453208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14611358698087773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2306661017016193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31247110771305536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953017931618305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33938827291320844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439230174483012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037265286961374,0.0,0.2124552425632873,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kievadorn,2018/02/11,"Divorce seems too impossible without money Male [47]. Been married almost 20 years. 2 tween kids. Wife and I fight, avoid one another, and in general don't communicate very well. No intimacy in years. No talk of finances or our future save for a vague notion of ""splitting.""  We give a bad example of what a marriage is to our children and need to move on and give ourselves a chance at a more productive relationship before it's too late.

But in researching divorce, it seems impossible to do it without an attorney (i.e. money). Especially, from what I've read on the MUST-READ, courts are biased against fathers with kids who try to DIY the divorce proceedings. I'm confused about mediation. My sister used mediation but still had to pay thousands of dollars to an attorney (no she can't help me with $$).

Any advice? I feel like I'm trapped.

Thanks.",4.21423180592992,6.518678100628932,5.38897124887691,76.65466981132076,73.02515723270442,8.568014375561546,32.11185983827494,9.23628265651192,3.2156123989218344,674,33,119,16,14,223,110,159,0.149,0.785,0.066,-0.8142,0,2,0,0,4,0,32.0,3,0,0,0,5,8,1,2,9,0,7,0,0,1,0,22,17,7,0,1,5,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,6,7,0,1,3,1,5,1,7,4,1,2,2,1,8,4,24,15,1,13,0,0,0,0,22,6,0,5,7,71,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17231402505523075,0.0,0.0,0.17657557203472912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11991489334841947,0.18490423619344787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14723364447160026,0.0,0.0,0.15004940687775173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916105243175858,0.12597485868568506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383161523108309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181946650679588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19891529665581806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08614912584618953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18741783438155105,0.0,0.13075130930634116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949020244277275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527685163165997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189319450764049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3210603247122025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408225878178379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14173263052799442,0.0,0.16234699353762014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972093493743635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15229815278633752,0.0,0.14549611212021052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854772571587916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399642619978979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22710989937359544
divorce,18truck,2018/02/11,Enough is enough Today just might be my day… To run away,1.84,3.2930430000000044,1.8733333333333315,103.005,77.33333333333334,4.800000000000002,12.0,3.1291,-1.8661000000000003,44,0,11,0,1,13,11,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,9,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409598101987969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340427530181867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7499527084001284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3849832935751333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439901109337636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway_sah,2018/02/11,"Guilt over not wanting to try again, please help. On 1/29 my husband (33M) and I (39F) got into a huge fight and he told me he wanted a divorce. Although I was crushed and heartbroken, I immediately felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and I felt a sense of relief. Fast forward to this past Thursday, the last night he stayed at the house, he told me he had made a mistake and he wants to try again to save our marriage..and I told him I don't think it was a mistake and I still think it's the right thing to do.  

Our background: We married 8 years ago and have been together for 14. Over the past few years our marriage has gone downhill fast. The first 10 years of our marriage he worked lawn care but that was putting financial strain on our marriage. He wouldn't work during the winter unless it snowed so we took out loan after loan and used credit cards to get by accruing a ton of debt. He lost his last two lawn care jobs, one by not getting there on time in the morning and the other due to failing a drug test (marijuana). So I told him that he needed to get a full time/12 month a year job preferably with benefits so he could help support our family more. This was the beginning of the freefall that has landed me here. He's gone through 6 jobs since then, either losing them due to not being there on time in the morning or disagreements with superiors. This lead to him not feeling good about himself as a husband or a father. Unfortunately he turned to drugs to cope.  

It happened three times, well, I found them three times.. actually our six year old son found them once.. a CD case with a razor in it, in the kids bathroom. I was shocked and we fought. He swore it was a one time thing and it was helping him get going in the morning. I told him it needed to stop. The next time the cat found it, a corner bag with white powder, that fell out of his jeans when he took them off to get in bed. I saw her playing with something and grabbed it. We fought again and I didn't go to his mom's for Thanksgiving because it happened the day we were supposed to go there. The last time was last new years eve's at his mom's. His pant leg caught on fire at a bonfire burning his leg. He took his pants off and his mom was checking his burn and I walked into the bathroom, reached in his fifth pocket and found a corner bag with white stuff in it and a straw. It was meth. I kicked him out, demanded that he got help and, after a couple weeks, he came back home saying he didn't want to lose us and he promised he wouldn't do it again. I honestly don't think he has BUT I haven't trusted him since, or forgave him for lying to me. I think that was when I ""checked out"" emotionally.  

For the past year we have fought a lot due to the differences in our parenting.  He says he yells at the kids because I don't back him up and that I let the kids walk all over me... I am just more relaxed and don't scream at the kids to get them to listen. I don't want my kids to fear me in order to do what I ask them to do. I tried to compromise and be harder on the kids but it's just not me. They don't walk all over me. We just have a different type of relationship that isn't like the one he wants or demands.  

We had been fighting a lot and it's gotten bad...to the point that the kids (daughter 14 & son 6) are hiding out in their rooms and our son has started to yell and be sort of hateful. That's why we can't go on like this. It's not a healthy, happy house like it needs to be for the kids.  

Another less important but important ongoing issue we've had is there is no intimacy. I always have to initiate and I've gotten tired of being put off so much I've stopped doing that. I don't feel that he is in love with me and my self esteem is in the dumps. I used to tell him when a guy would compliment me and tell him it was nice but I didn't want it from him, I wanted it from my husband and nothing would change.  

Anyway, to get to the point of my post, now my STBX is having second thoughts. He told me he wanted to work on things and save us. He said he had an epiphany and it renewed his love for me and he knows he's still in love with me and he's ready to show me how much he can change and how much better things can be. He said since we're not going to be in debt (we're having to file bankruptcy) that we can do the things we've always wanted to do. He knows he has taken me for granted but he won't anymore.. He knows we can make things work and I told him I don't. I can't, and, although I've questioned this decision, my mind and my heart are saying it's the right one. I feel horrible guilt for being the one who didn't want to try again but I can't put my faith in his words anymore and then go through this and put the kids through this all over again. 

We have talked to an attorney together and we're in agreement on basically everything. We still need work out holidays, taxes, etc. But I will have sole physical custody and we will have joint legal custody.  

Emotionally I am relieved and the kids and I have had a great weekend but I am feeling SO much guilt because I know my STBX isn't sleeping (he's posted about it on Facebook) and he's never been really on his own (we started dating when he was 19). He's currently living with his best friend and drinking (and hard telling what else) a lot. I feel guilty because I'm actually the one calling it quits and I feel like I’m tearing my family apart at the seams. Plus he was my best friend for 15 years, I care about him and don't want to see him hurt, but I can't be there to take care of him right now. 

I'm sorry if this is a jumbled mess.  Any suggestions or advice would be much appreciated. 

TL:DR: I feel guilty for not wanting to keep working on my marriage after years of trying to ""fix"" us. I'm worried about my STBX but I can't keep going through the lack of intimacy, financial security and differences in parenting any longer. I just want a happy, healthy home for my kids. They are my #1 priority.  ",2.89013057369079,3.8913337763578326,3.9490206973190745,90.98862758716488,73.85623003194887,7.072871232115571,24.87067648284484,7.3824988583045075,0.8729058619252674,4656,141,1063,51,92,1510,424,1252,0.126,0.7509999999999999,0.123,0.8974,10,0,5,0,4,0,132.0,27,0,9,16,40,61,7,5,69,0,102,13,5,7,4,189,211,84,0,29,31,13,13,4,2,8,3,9,6,13,57,83,2,5,25,7,8,24,34,22,1,12,61,26,147,39,146,130,23,166,1,5,4,3,180,68,0,11,76,672,204,16,0.0,0.0,0.07620745515436217,0.0,0.0,0.038155763962677135,0.03461234461121124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497959114660802,0.04230683990300396,0.0,0.05310588461670903,0.04094363409847198,0.0,0.0,0.07744722321242405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03650318371628201,0.0,0.0,0.060048658946127466,0.03260217607952957,0.0952094762215226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08195373414592877,0.034533434511533075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03987081715467386,0.044658765885114714,0.1592419363796245,0.0,0.08261198742604521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031175433455110937,0.04320418247737436,0.0,0.02518174647043836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12238576887176815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038250680852554,0.0905630303150622,0.0,0.032618319955353296,0.08784405887648526,0.0,0.0,0.04354714166471778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035092454458244375,0.0,0.07361908412937229,0.04393814051653695,0.13820149863667486,0.02789480990709814,0.07498147959170642,0.0,0.0,0.03321291212297564,0.0,0.17124978001124752,0.060334420242056624,0.0,0.14280120309551506,0.0,0.1553370830160083,0.032750331111361136,0.062458066859549785,0.043048877097330865,0.0,0.03866214963428129,0.06905733868328133,0.08313139849599413,0.034977972548685836,0.03855031075057457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04627026148229155,0.1046881178832708,0.0,0.0783335971856147,0.0,0.0,0.09010878051967827,0.04180005961321785,0.0,0.0,0.04075437584093454,0.11624280592474355,0.06941260302317125,0.0,0.0,0.08583568714974026,0.1273123560213609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0399276666899164,0.0,0.07630454248456182,0.0,0.03447875324103511,0.0,0.0,0.08736603679094301,0.0426238405220678,0.09958775149348334,0.10572290587529153,0.036946719233034254,0.02606382560461675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039425809367419136,0.13719228060456945,0.031166524227981125,0.0,0.14351826122914824,0.11580986734201533,0.0301150490531434,0.03771132936276343,0.0415263696788306,0.03664247218652485,0.0,0.03746614634232106,0.0,0.040972707724901115,0.041583222080387575,0.1587534140229479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671298043283268,0.0,0.11182283722888164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0428613046748312,0.0738230805887598,0.0,0.07479146019407484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700997039086975,0.0437409887783295,0.04153073303189698,0.0,0.0,0.025014172054660225,0.0,0.0,0.04192130196355976,0.0,0.10003643022089287,0.07428427952825725,0.09315397361197238,0.0,0.0,0.031114985618246993,0.0,0.04073398967812848,0.0,0.0,0.09689894411417377,0.0,0.039074674408899966,0.0,0.0,0.030059884486763357,0.0,0.043709332552820036,0.05527459267595128,0.041618347596121985,0.09354769734504016,0.0652892038256973,0.0,0.0,0.04469887267297258,0.0,0.04430947768850745,0.0,0.0,0.029358090190632125,0.031384077961745235,0.10238502191974347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564445990890455,0.10007761952014324,0.0,0.030998540022301038,0.18214651099242676,0.04487817963160382,0.0,0.2611740645566862,0.1301462129974935,0.13254996897088564,0.04247135287855028,0.0381427328997038,0.0,0.14090430712295918,0.06744723614696661,0.0,0.0,0.3224287208217195,0.0,0.03132072740803663,0.04754808799096572,0.035107470777815966,0.0,0.03523337085815452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055779528085255,0.03965359124270895,0.0,0.08321248771525876,0.0,0.0,0.22630185036237985
divorce,peeeej63,2018/02/11,"What to do now Going through a divorce of ten years with kids. Its going peacefully currently so that helps. Just hired a lawyer to help us out with settlement and such.

My problems:

I still find myself worrying about what she is doing. When all i do is go to work, be with kids, sit at home. Ive already remodeled my bathroom and its not even been two months. Who is around my kids when im not there. Even though she is a good mom i know she wouldnt put them in danger.

What to do i do with my ""free"" time now that i have an empty house 50% of the time. Its lonley at night. 

When im ready how the hell do i even start to date. Which as of right now i have zero drive.



I guess im just lost at the moment as this is all so new. I can only cruise face book and clean the house so many times.",0.9064912280701768,2.3724170760233925,2.3121403508771934,98.79031578947372,79.99415204678363,5.729590643274852,17.247953216374267,6.42735559955562,-0.5513176608187136,604,10,152,5,15,195,103,171,0.098,0.8059999999999999,0.097,-0.0314,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,1,0,1,2,21,6,2,0,8,0,18,1,1,1,2,21,25,13,0,2,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,3,11,9,0,0,2,2,1,6,3,4,0,3,2,0,20,3,22,21,2,32,1,1,0,0,13,7,1,1,18,107,31,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570948384162365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672819296253335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2820769943297173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301120080284918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2427148303445064,0.11940256276991446,0.0,0.0,0.1568226333505726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908382166323375,0.0,0.1427959953006994,0.0,0.0,0.3285224593771798,0.0,0.0,0.4613109905509715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.078235858043281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15539982713840414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14432797480900855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667271682509512,0.11362825165943526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374895831148479,0.0,0.1335926977476759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10826915387133708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13621672587179254,0.0,0.14310842218168238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157237024681275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10076124114791314,0.0,0.1136867366443946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13986534042399507,0.0,0.24902908773053745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13906241264513672,0.0,0.17123832344974413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363782169444767,0.1445707648362552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167344429439034
divorce,the-good-life789,2018/02/11,"Ex took Fraudulent loan And leased car, now tickets and easy pass I found that someone took a fraudulent loan in my name and leased a car. I reported it and I'm working with the leasing company. 

This weekend I got a bill from easy pass with a collection notice about tolls ,
This person has been going through tolls without paying . I've also gotten parking tickets.

How do I proceed ? My credit is getting ruined . I want to make sure I dot my i's and cross my t's",1.907608695652172,4.374768456521739,3.3893043478260867,87.1491739130435,81.82608695652175,5.853913043478261,26.591304347826085,7.1686216300943375,1.5180226086956519,366,16,69,5,10,120,62,92,0.104,0.765,0.131,0.128,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,2,1,14,14,7,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,7,0,0,1,3,5,8,1,1,0,0,6,0,11,2,8,8,0,12,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,40,15,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424626073010333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29374774619872723,0.0,0.0,0.13997108804967867,0.0,0.15225852480858276,0.0,0.21427083142199846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1788309457254777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050155033824481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339272921365715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22699792856485504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2525005082702212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5953122079619962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801932299441385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582541493720529,0.0,0.1950405151161217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,youkn0wit,2018/02/11,"A bit broken right now I (32M)have been lurking here for about 2 months since STBXW (33F) said it’s done and thought it’s was my turn to share and get thoughts. 
Backstory high school sweethearts never been with anyone else together 17 years married 9 1/2.   Two kids 4,8 house half paid off , no other debts. Sorry this is quite long

 The last 3-4 years have been quite bumpy talk of separation, no connection but never got too serious. I will admit fault on my part of brushing it off a bit and maybe taking our relationship for granted. 

In March 2017 she started a new job as a deckhand on
A boat which she loves as it is her first real job after being a SAHM for 7 years. Not long after starting she starts to lose a lot of weight and becomes
Very appearance orientated tells me it’s for her job (red flag). She seems to be very content and we are finally starting to get some money flow into the house again.

October 2017 I come home one day and she asks for a separation which is a bit out of the blue as she has always been a bit more codependent that me so it was a bit of a surprise. We agree to a separation but only lasts a week and we agree to try a bit harder.

So a few months pass by I am trying to put in more effort but she’s is withdrawn and distant. Finally I ask what is up and she says it is over she has no love and it’s not worth trying. I was shattered I should have seen it coming but it still gut punched me. This was mid december so we agree to stay put until after holiday period until kids start school again. During this time I continually ask her if there is somebody else which she denies

I decide to move out 26/1 so we start telling family earlier in the week. During this time she gets a phone call from my brother accusing her of an affair with a skipper(AP) on the boat. She denies this but only now tells me of an incident 6 months ago when the AP ‘s wife asked for them not to work together as she suspected something. We talk this thru
She assured me it’s rumours and I go around assuring everybody else it is rumours. In the meantime her sister and I advise her to cut off all contact with him for fears of rumours getting worse.

Fast forward a week 28/1 I have moved to my parents just up the road and I’m checking how much data I have left in my phone when I see a new phone linked to our account. I ring her and ask her who she has been ringing and she still says nobody. I have seen the calls on there and she admits it was AP. I go around the next morning and finally get the whole truth that they developed feelings for each other and tried to hide it which snowballed into a web of lies. After going thru our phone records i see there is many 1 hr phone calls on nights I was away with the kids. Although it never got physical I am fucking gutted like a lot of other people here my STBXW was never this person and to be betrayed after all these years was the worst pain I have ever felt.

In the meantime AP wife has left him and taken his 2 kids 2000 kms away which he is apparently following and our marriage is in tatters. The hardest part in all this is that she has moved on so easily, she has even accepted there is no future with AP  but still won’t even consider trying for us as she says it is too far gone.

I should be the one Pissed off, I should be the one moving on easily cause I got fucked over but 17 years is a long time to erase and I’m having a lot of trouble. We have started no contact as every time we speak in person ends up me getting emotional while she has no emotion.  I have always been someone that doesn’t show much emotion but this has completely fucked me and I am riding that roller coaster everyday.
It is just so hard when I am just beginning this and it seems like she is miles ahead of me emotionally. I know that I need to get professional
Counselling as I know this is something that will take me a while to work thru. I just hope- and I told her this- that I don’t develop trust issues now which I believe I will
Because of what happened at the end

Sorry it was a bit of a wall as it is my first post It feels really good to share this as I don’t really talk about it to anyone other than Mum. This sub has helped me understand a lot of things going on and helped me thru some dark times. I hope In the future I can be one of those that comes back to assure others that it gets better and I move on but for now I’ll just ride the roller coaster and hope that the ride ends soon.",2.6080357757137937,4.218677511982577,3.761530214424951,89.608201754386,75.6230936819172,6.792363261093911,22.972193555784887,7.524965506658679,0.8272906318082796,3508,100,752,45,76,1139,372,918,0.104,0.7929999999999999,0.103,-0.1386,6,0,2,0,0,0,54.0,13,0,2,10,41,31,5,1,51,0,75,10,3,2,12,114,144,62,0,8,18,6,5,2,1,7,1,7,1,6,65,51,1,0,16,4,6,23,17,12,0,8,29,19,106,19,115,102,26,150,0,1,6,5,106,47,4,13,82,530,171,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04026040253397628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755829899835292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06351477875684232,0.046536207540219136,0.0,0.08086347088002761,0.21229894806276356,0.0,0.08534359422670745,0.034923713027135865,0.0,0.02768645031696253,0.0501607197114905,0.0,0.05117064219081192,0.0,0.04016861584882898,0.34709359044413796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913086495901178,0.0,0.0,0.04665689651068913,0.0,0.11737100666820365,0.04762001048807755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029290915157478163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04647848195892396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138229761204206,0.2043569836317914,0.12068085915393345,0.0,0.0,0.05999644931324374,0.0410832688845186,0.03826670550782636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042816139653699584,0.051107985999226585,0.04592950891126416,0.0,0.04360849553626335,0.1492599154169042,0.0,0.07726522004888745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12596489619002882,0.18983264855491744,0.0,0.10324860452331186,0.03809454483581328,0.10897500334800993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0401630730963756,0.0,0.04068569380232991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06088558596431571,0.04798671300531687,0.045558054359681764,0.1353312546025446,0.0,0.10481277175291058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04740469317543768,0.13521135914881569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04992119654485413,0.07404362169832103,0.0,0.0,0.09869379035486138,0.0,0.0,0.04437797598092054,0.0,0.0,0.12058075960685015,0.0,0.0508112329359831,0.0,0.1544513672840506,0.08198321139297071,0.0,0.0,0.046046821608164416,0.0456285829469088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875687490384674,0.24136124629488895,0.06677505419485846,0.033676943363479116,0.14011694507598002,0.08773016201534252,0.04830266131416288,0.04262180723786267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12310591156614152,0.06908501862619064,0.048328057319466634,0.0,0.0504314217421702,0.09836674597095296,0.0,0.031487189721308734,0.07931466071729809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043497982112167925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131546390152076,0.0,0.09661547336228056,0.0,0.051695737563239835,0.05819199174669947,0.0,0.0,0.0487620388263037,0.0,0.038786806595496486,0.043203010794959716,0.10835488082025567,0.0,0.09193107764603227,0.0723846858628436,0.08269385927341291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03757031909640583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0384826061192118,0.06993013984784607,0.0,0.10168368209866764,0.22503013927871696,0.04840964822926452,0.10881285256873276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829751303936688,0.10951603765278764,0.11909225573247313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030173765451330326,0.0,0.0,0.07211379138177026,0.13241828773604514,0.0,0.0,0.04339893794127099,0.0,0.1541795323771675,0.049401847296387164,0.044366881167322236,0.04728184063197048,0.0546323783923792,0.0,0.0,0.07494937302690713,0.0,0.0,0.1092949732763311,0.0553070063221647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050707683219235904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06612983094563755,0.0,0.046284920921444365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14623882657592416
divorce,oneherbert,2018/02/11,"Verbal abuse in front of kid, what do I do with this? Am 44 f currently married but ready to be divorced. This is my first post here and hope I'm going to make sense. 

We adopted our daughter, a private, open adoption (they called me thru a close friend and we adopted her at 7 weeks) and she is incredibly bright and very verbal, and I'm very very concerned about husband's behavior.  He has outbursts where he rants at me in a low tone (not loud) in a very abusive way, stupid bitch type language, and seems to like to do it in front of her- wtf- and then to our daughter is like ""I love you"" or something similar.  The contrast is really jarring, it's awful and I'm sure very confusing to her.  She is only 2.   I've moved us out of the house as of last weekend.   We're staying at my mom's and she sees him during the day until he leaves for work in 4 more days... 

 He also does stuff like this: finds something out of place/messy/not how he would like it and has this running commentary like ""mom has done x as usual""  where everything (not right) in our lives is seemingly my doing and he's just there to witness it.  I'm wondering what he's been like when I'm not there.  Should I be looking for other behaviors? How can I prevent more damage to my daughter? Should I describe to my lawyer so it is part of my divorce?

 I am hesitant to label his behavior but it's the source of a lot of anxiety and worry, and I've got to get us out of this marriage and keep full custody of kid.  Advice? We have been married 8 years, we don't have sex, he is not kind or compassionate and cannot partner or discuss or co-parent at this point, he reacts to my input with total disgust or with apathy.  I have only just contacted the lawyer, not going to see her until he is gone to work.  ",3.8915091324200937,4.37163628219178,5.0831678082191765,85.70648687214614,71.10958904109589,7.946347031963471,28.08504566210045,7.9370924344782425,1.6142168949771687,1373,47,293,17,24,456,186,365,0.161,0.7290000000000001,0.11,-0.9758,2,0,2,0,3,0,48.0,9,1,1,3,13,19,3,1,10,1,32,2,0,4,2,59,52,32,0,4,14,6,0,6,2,3,0,1,0,3,16,27,0,2,4,1,0,7,7,6,0,1,5,5,36,13,48,42,6,44,0,2,4,2,48,21,1,11,19,189,52,5,0.0,0.24736890517786744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020081823639376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08348022180278236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985765916655115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1065933207703966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13464514502771266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09135192905770304,0.1068266715188226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09381852496719348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09541008481521002,0.0887936302361018,0.0,0.0,0.08065104591922752,0.0,0.054539189792833315,0.0,0.11865388342433733,0.0,0.08348979567726802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368229821872378,0.0,0.12045143329897096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927861577410604,0.0,0.108705569587595,0.0,0.0850913510925436,0.0,0.11053337655531233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30599653407185545,0.0,0.09217781490977492,0.0,0.08766086401678197,0.0,0.0,0.08874819477251858,0.09421557271680132,0.0,0.06968078212189115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24451937226792544,0.0,0.11094948668118967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878579249154695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130436238160836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090647784524672,0.0,0.09868179123253888,0.0,0.09997625677479773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668745678144629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914803738863619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16636978519429635,0.19006450660397475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16072822871868445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11126528603708982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11950096870153434,0.0,0.0,0.09838584049906644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511353596260969,0.0,0.1149702536657152,0.43066122834880094,0.0,0.08285950271211881,0.08373493651798995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320592774471165,0.15199355551818985,0.10601257442592384,0.0,0.07415528472638362,0.0,0.0,0.06722339642560042
divorce,KeithCarter4897,2018/02/12,"Cleaning out the car I've been pretty depressed the last few months and I've put off taking care of a few basic tasks like cleaning out my car since my STBXW split up. I went out there looking for a flashlight I thought might have been lost in the mess, but instead I found a half-melted pen body; pretty clear evidence of someone smoking meth in my car.

We haven't spoken in about two months, and this isn't going to change that, it's just going to be added to the list of reasons I'm glad we split up and bullets I've dodged.

No real message here, I just needed to vent for a second. Learning all her secrets after so long apart is just infuriating. She kept so many secrets...",5.4889130434782585,5.3216735072463806,5.673731884057973,85.1088586956522,67.55072463768116,7.4797101449275365,29.568840579710145,5.985473137389443,1.2808666666666664,536,17,110,2,8,170,91,138,0.091,0.784,0.125,0.6908,0,0,1,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,0,1,9,6,0,0,8,0,8,1,1,1,2,24,20,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,8,0,1,6,0,0,7,3,3,0,2,7,1,11,3,20,11,3,22,0,2,1,0,7,10,0,1,6,68,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21228896236913475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948574913861233,0.0,0.2021774539325542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646096136809491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.209550971886366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172334750785647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578664063490769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337057855451987,0.0,0.0,0.16913337510593898,0.16049094702322347,0.0,0.2086278232028593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376360814650634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20274594701089685,0.0,0.0,0.3050970549271114,0.0,0.0,0.1417115411999742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888713346040753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19212633084314246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2175340726290692,0.0,0.19650108730096802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15809474645790605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193362217246302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369691644031285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517263073460289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18669447047488255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17716825803155792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,catherine2255,2018/02/12,"How to prepare him that I'm leaving? I've finally decided to leave my marriage and set a latest date next month.  I'm moving back in with my parents and have 2 kids but that part is ok because their house is huge and I'll be company for my parents my mother has dementia.  
The problem I have is how to tell my husband, he's very aggressive and controlling and also very good at turning things around on me.  I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him.  He's also very good at turning things around when he senses that he's pushed me too far with his asshole behaviour and making himself look like the good loving husband.  If i tell him as I'm leaving he's going to be blindsided and my best mate is worried he'll flip on me.  I need to leave but also be in control with the kids so that I get at least a week away from him before initiating contact again so that we can arrange some sort of shared custody.  Has anyone been through this? I thought maybe suggesting I need time apart to ease him into the separation but I definitely don't want to reconcile.",4.722716955941255,5.37084446261682,5.590120160213621,82.20971962616825,69.32710280373831,8.54419225634179,32.10814419225634,8.634040054169528,2.471005073431242,841,36,168,13,14,276,122,214,0.054000000000000006,0.747,0.199,0.9903,2,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,1,3,14,11,1,0,6,1,14,1,0,5,0,34,31,20,0,5,4,5,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,2,8,15,0,2,4,0,0,4,1,2,0,0,2,2,26,9,28,25,4,30,0,0,1,1,30,15,0,3,12,108,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665643505045255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07769083239939968,0.0,0.0,0.19782326212376755,0.0,0.0,0.1043916865524029,0.08543688220794281,0.0,0.0677317441203468,0.0,0.0945465930404995,0.0,0.11660329562078135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2492390651402675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561806535243162,0.07937714613689621,0.0,0.12171578856208637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058050491442613386,0.0,0.0631464848535616,0.2795818821475549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282062481040238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4705986175607236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10856565862750048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330458072054056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028128981256484,0.0,0.07416691853411032,0.0,0.11162512598592683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868709829759626,0.1180925542094335,0.0,0.16477360474434607,0.0,0.0,0.11816695383511278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467494470371465,0.1203215145275201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106317451696576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942304171569156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763335402695152,0.0,0.0,0.08820908439868935,0.06478924874162956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2417119740410578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27503264400395505,0.0655356722954033,0.0,0.08912589707051513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128377973324822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,thatredditstranger,2018/02/12,"Dealing with separation. Hi everyone! Long story short last night my husband ended it. I still love him and am obviously hurt. I just want to know what the best things are to deal with it. I don’t want to constantly think about it and be upset. 

Thank you in advance ",0.7505769230769239,3.2797848269230805,2.3757692307692326,89.60673076923081,94.96153846153842,5.676923076923077,19.96153846153846,7.1686216300943375,0.8050692307692313,209,7,42,4,8,68,43,52,0.099,0.674,0.227,0.7777,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,1,0,2,3,5,0,1,1,0,4,1,0,0,1,10,10,2,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,6,3,7,9,1,9,0,1,0,1,7,2,0,0,6,28,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25805743957346833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26573111948661826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5070253061912775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217794885976832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23496849807088835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632416074805836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13514050263072488,0.20044175511537884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21761423454961976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193483253095386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23076099339803835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.196376484093406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22639217392662045,0.0,0.0,0.16336538831518493,0.15756313315748327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900770120302425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nanagoogoo,2018/02/12,"Married 21 years down the crapper I'm a female in California. Married 21 years, 2 underage children, and one 20 yo still living at home and going to college. I have a BA but haven't worked in 15 years as husband's construction business became successful so I stayed home taking care of kids, and doing minor accounting for his business. He told me yesterday he's filing for divorce. He wants 50-50 custody of which means no child support right? I'm super stressed out as I've been trying to find a job and nothing but 12/h retail jobs are available. Do I even get a job like that? Do I lose my kids? Do I get some kind of spousal support? Have you been in similar situation? Thank you!! ",2.1978781512605075,4.586382191176472,3.729453781512607,85.62647058823529,80.02941176470588,6.238655462184874,27.36134453781513,7.447530270364453,1.6997432773109242,542,24,103,8,14,179,94,136,0.064,0.732,0.203,0.9737,3,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,2,0,4,3,10,0,1,5,0,10,0,0,0,0,11,23,9,0,1,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,5,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,2,0,1,3,0,10,8,15,20,1,14,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,1,6,54,12,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088402791859638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422308680942896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14422312397286466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16488429595479087,0.0,0.08967937599109012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3165654707069252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4697659739366332,0.0,0.0,0.1643207515173832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770913895076997,0.0,0.13933718278343804,0.0,0.0,0.17653389831561578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17188662631600646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15140997833059416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069269786360476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475733171331586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17736985490521898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681900521635977,0.12601647274204314,0.0,0.1807553346726872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3581311510054404,0.0,0.0,0.11864331492695117,0.0,0.0,0.14527779813526984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507812988356847,0.0,0.10713345187002972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307245225506568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487771676879276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3048472786292133
divorce,kvthe,2018/02/12,"How did you afford a lawyer? I thought we were working on things/patching things up. Apparently not as he had been going behind my back to a lawyer. We don't have a lot of money and with no warning, I haven't saved a dime. We also were living paycheck to paycheck. His sister and mom have money and they have dumped $3500 (at least) on the most cutthroat, vindictive lawyer in our area. The cheapest I've found is $2500, to go up against this lawyer. Apparently, the lawyer he has hired likes to file a bunch of unnecessary paperwork just to rack up the bill and stretch the process out longer. 

I have been denied a credit card due to my poor credit score because I supported our family by myself for 4 years and some things had to be put to the side, mainly medical bills. My friends and family don't have a lot of money so they aren't an option either. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of because he knows I don't have the same financial resources that he does. 

So, how did you afford your divorce lawyer? Should I make a Go Fund Me? Is that even appropriate? Ughhhh. This is so unfair.  ",3.9848394495412833,5.250366784403674,4.825584862385323,84.73314793577985,71.5229357798165,7.835321100917432,25.551605504587158,8.278499904357787,1.4938798165137617,861,26,174,13,16,279,128,218,0.095,0.8220000000000001,0.083,-0.5695,4,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,5,3,2,2,9,9,1,0,16,0,26,1,0,3,0,29,37,13,0,1,3,2,1,2,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,11,0,0,4,0,10,4,7,1,0,0,11,1,23,8,26,23,9,18,0,0,0,0,19,11,0,5,5,123,29,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15580502608542834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981180682118495,0.0,0.2375324263617847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17049654855271648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12868300211218714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673356975327871,0.0,0.09851161460208717,0.1391861848859945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136204156052176,0.15052473558286006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321781675258455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707316039461563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19036763816044025,0.0,0.17203795757088652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312740312126499,0.0,0.0,0.13005015848906684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19627015527252592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22818187561000774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19585739103932048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210901301817123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25887203444548323,0.0,0.0,0.15467280605636974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14183814663474742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254637662365756
divorce,Tween_LaQueefa,2018/02/12,"Going through an amicable divorce (Maryland), only one big hurdle. Looking for ideas. We have 7 year old twins together, I have moved out and am currently back at my parents. I am letting her and the kids keep the house. (I don't want the kids to have to move.) However, the mortgage is in my name, and she doesn't make a lot of money (hairdresser) plus not-so-great credit, so I don't know how she's going to get the loan in her name. Is there any programs or such that help divorced mothers with this sort of thing? Anyone have any ideas?",3.549444444444444,4.764746722222224,4.425000000000002,87.38250000000002,72.51851851851852,7.251851851851853,27.38888888888889,7.6454224807358475,1.4452555555555553,418,15,87,5,8,135,78,108,0.012,0.932,0.056,0.6639,4,0,0,0,2,0,21.0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,7,0,12,0,0,2,0,19,20,7,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,7,0,1,3,0,3,4,3,0,0,1,0,1,11,1,13,19,1,13,0,0,1,0,14,5,0,3,4,57,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683153358311619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13794328007513598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15169671127436302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10307104393477423,0.0,0.2242383812065448,0.0,0.0,0.2175027117783946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13223312119794778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22763548598215805,0.0,0.44541188363845335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17535218578410974,0.0,0.0,0.1084203351008426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017329223339752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16566613476941092,0.0,0.0,0.16772102991035198,0.0,0.0,0.13168642553686466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4193564099391975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20701294992946784,0.0,0.133682534761595,0.15004089221238093,0.0,0.0,0.2190569146308506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310645572586814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11636129153414765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270423281450778
divorce,Powerless82,2018/02/12,"Advice from Non-Custodial Parents My parents were divorced and my dad just peaced out. I now find myself getting divorced. I have 4 kids, 5, 3, and 2yr old twins. They are the light of my life. For the last year I have been seeing them twice a week and every other weekend, and split holidays. I never miss time with them, and my soon to be ex and I get along fairly well when it comes to the kids. 

My question is, for those non-custodial parents, does it get easier, will I ever stop feeling like I am failing my children? Do you have a good relationship with your kids? I love my kids terribly and unfortunately 50/50 custody won't work because she is a stay at home mom and I am the sole provider.",2.8628177458033583,4.741291582733812,4.123183453237413,86.13259292565952,75.61870503597122,6.647721822541968,25.971822541966425,7.492282038375204,1.2910858513189452,546,20,111,7,12,179,95,139,0.08,0.777,0.14300000000000002,0.7848,3,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,0,2,3,2,6,7,0,0,7,0,14,2,0,0,2,20,22,9,0,0,1,6,1,1,0,2,1,0,1,5,4,13,0,1,3,2,0,1,2,3,1,1,2,3,23,4,11,17,0,16,0,2,1,1,22,2,0,1,13,75,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672789266962912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1043521170826984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745977291824333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980418521613226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548456387762606,0.14422981956178524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08655572376720806,0.12229381296678535,0.0,0.0,0.15645898411314824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2683095685073918,0.0,0.0,0.14358093426239604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171141002820392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395377267983754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12091225167518392,0.08363180711932912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450015397700634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20048851573248716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320275774832771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17962870770367892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5702383909137306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1917651462209144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378744571946912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13641140571794494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18245926155645475,0.0,0.1431174062128744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998187092063322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13731339960296451,0.0,0.15391488521836458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12462391860451587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11023681965858796
divorce,mickeyrc,2018/02/12,Newly divorced and a bit lost. I (49m) have been divorced for about 2 weeks and feel a bit lost. I was never good at dating and am not sure where to begin. I do not live in the city so I am not sure where to meet eligible women. I am terribly lonely and not really looking (or ready) to jump back into a relationship but I really would like some companionship. It would be nice to have someone to just talk about my day or go out for a drink with. I could ramble on and on but don't want to bore anyone. ,1.5936967808930405,3.03187514018692,3.9345171339563865,88.02946002076844,77.97196261682242,6.9985462097611615,19.365524402907575,7.793537801064563,0.4782427829698852,388,8,88,6,9,135,70,107,0.127,0.782,0.09,0.28,0,2,1,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,0,2,7,10,0,0,5,0,13,1,0,0,3,26,20,10,0,4,9,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,8,1,0,1,1,0,2,6,5,0,0,4,2,8,5,17,12,3,16,0,3,1,0,7,8,0,3,7,64,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346925715353848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812189563620254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4206078753900291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15380074698401305,0.0,0.0,0.12423151784215253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18870574153333627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09740038122937013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10947704079963186,0.16157034018961908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09411012399632733,0.0,0.17009733036059208,0.0,0.1617621220567281,0.0,0.4205605366200123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14856945121557946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24680961390531375,0.0,0.0,0.20681436765976532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321622397280516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3631062166217515,0.0,0.0,0.1548300728800161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11361917431118106,0.0,0.15451753953557154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736800818382134,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lifewillsuckless,2018/02/12,How do courts decide whether to hand out custody evaluations? Do you just go in and say I want one and the judge gives it out on a whim or do they go in with evidence that you have a chance to refute and the judge still gives it out on a whim or weighs what they see to decide?,10.526,4.380416933333337,9.680000000000003,79.09500000000003,63.0,13.333333333333336,36.66666666666666,8.841846274778883,2.7076666666666664,216,4,54,2,2,69,38,60,0.0,0.885,0.115,0.7059,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,2,2,0,3,0,0,0,5,0,4,2,1,1,0,15,10,7,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,7,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,3,5,0,11,10,0,10,0,0,1,0,7,7,0,2,1,39,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6920759573158741,0.4100139226082792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24443496321592004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2868610826847203,0.0,0.0,0.2874492020925241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880735271137358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21276353015470728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,andamini,2018/02/12,"An Amicable Divorce? I’m just wondering if it’s possible to have an amicable divorce with your partner and peacefully coexist. My husband and I are divorcing ( based on his infidelity and other issues), I’ve been incredibly nice and surprisingly even keeled about it but adamant that I want a divorce. I would like to keep our family unit functioning without interruption for the sake of our three very young children. He has suggested that we even keep the family home as the base for the children and get a crash pad mainly for him but we can rotate some weekends. We would continue having family dinners, movie nights etc. He’s a full blown narcissist (and I don’t use the word lightly) but I’m very willing to move forward with him under these circumstances for the children. Anyone trying this sort of unconventional approach? What have you found that works and doesn’t work?",6.918216123499144,8.519156270440256,7.116455117209835,69.78627787307036,64.9119496855346,10.813264722698683,35.20926243567753,10.832165505486646,4.281988679245283,713,33,116,20,11,230,107,159,0.023,0.888,0.08900000000000001,0.8092,0,0,0,0,3,0,15.0,5,2,0,2,4,3,0,0,11,0,12,1,0,1,0,29,21,12,0,4,6,1,0,1,1,3,0,0,1,4,9,12,1,2,2,1,0,3,3,0,0,1,2,1,15,3,16,16,4,10,0,0,0,0,22,4,0,4,6,82,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312897088118488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1963912812948,0.23261676117132196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.498017058314686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307790610462955,0.0,0.0,0.0920018108923138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766365705257972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837963132320971,0.0,0.3130407536431416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603059979535924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18715998039236406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16525222523045985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19851944850345746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955621997973408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15208861730444834,0.0,0.2905918701007503,0.10386476288805913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1697482654721531,0.19096635640939605,0.2563969579444031,0.0,0.0,0.2501841522757248,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Panjimmy,2018/02/12,"I hope I don't cry at work. I had that thought with my 5 am shower/cry. I had my alarm set to 6:45 am but couldn't sleep. We had our differences and fights, but what couple doesn't? But I know now it's well and truly over. The moment of painful clarity was the second time she lied about concealing her communications with another man who is ""just a friend"".


 I could handle the weight gain, 100+ lbs is a lot but she's working on it. Anyway looks fade, marriage is deeper than that. I could forgive the overspending. In our years and years of marriage, I could count on one hand the months we actually made our (my?) budget goals. But it's just money right? We still made it comfortably enough. I could handle the lack of housework; being a stay at home mom is hard with 2 kids. But how can I forgive another breach of trust?

 I don't know how I'm going to go on. But I'm going to, for the kids sake. I feel bitter and angry that I didn't end this years ago when I first knew it was over. I hope I don't cry at work today.",0.5504246713852403,2.639079023255817,2.2705358948432766,95.43346814964613,84.34883720930233,5.4135490394337715,17.25480283114257,6.7026698264267655,-0.2598109201213345,790,17,183,9,23,259,119,215,0.11,0.6970000000000001,0.193,0.9641,1,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,6,0,0,6,10,12,2,1,10,0,23,4,2,4,0,39,38,14,0,8,9,1,4,0,1,0,1,0,1,3,11,10,1,0,7,0,2,3,6,4,1,3,10,6,28,8,22,22,3,29,0,0,1,0,20,10,0,3,14,120,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.11870238016370195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1078258729431376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2550987595738989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3884762346425049,0.13459153786734693,0.4008450767662501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1270871468223803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10773628815409284,0.1256858814157732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06150446941044975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346630032926404,0.0,0.0,0.09397819772386418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20739119976802972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10896489290764554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201410497021276,0.24163048132624146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13369952253388995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1021463505812996,0.0,0.0,0.10341335689955852,0.0,0.2301960354570455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246244207002806,0.09709130425094056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824259169284125,0.0,0.1294327587440249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10387927135866623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217271157280633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12965127645670196,0.09714127759283286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656799258796096,0.07092883612738424,0.0,0.1152998043923386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812386020051194,0.10936831139192886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656645103067942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23499510399214765
divorce,Drfarr87,2018/02/12,"Ex getting married So we've been separated for almost three years, and for the first time since  I just creeped the Facebook. 

They're getting married next week. 
We live in Ontario Canada.

We haven't seen each other since the separation, no papers have been signed by me, we haven't seen a judge. 

For all I know we are not officially divorced, and they can't be married officially.


Am I wrong? ",3.5207428571428565,5.897896693333338,4.164571428571431,84.28800000000003,75.4,6.419047619047619,28.04761904761905,7.447530270364453,1.6241619047619045,312,13,59,4,7,99,52,75,0.076,0.924,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,4,0,1,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,9,0,0,0,1,13,14,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,2,9,0,5,9,2,6,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,1,5,38,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110829480092244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2642487941278845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3246159684460883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707316174088702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27432008771894884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303923808761339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5139653525839158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18114941150799466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2491941814116464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3396599428915384,0.0,0.20005603324711546
divorce,Tossisaccount,2018/02/12,"35 how do you deal with the guilt of wanting a divorce? My wife and i just don’t get along anymore. We’ve only been married a few years, but we married just after 9 months. I am realizing she isn’t the one i want to be with forever. I feel so guilty because before she met me, she had a career, friends, her own place, was taking great care of herself and was truly happy. Now she doesn’t have a career because she has to stop do to the nerve damage in her hands, yes out of my control but doesn’t make it easier. She has gained all the weight back and more that she had lost and was so proud of. Her friends have all some what moved on to other shit because she was invested in me. Basically beside me helping her financially. She’s not going to have shit. I feel horrible, to the point i want to stay with her just so she won’t have to go through that. ",3.5263780260707627,4.059830385474863,4.6643715083798885,88.18955540037247,71.96089385474859,7.530912476722532,26.089851024208564,7.492282038375204,1.102977281191806,665,20,149,7,12,219,104,179,0.141,0.636,0.223,0.9578,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,1,1,0,4,9,11,2,1,9,1,22,4,3,3,2,29,35,10,0,3,6,1,4,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,10,1,2,3,0,1,3,6,5,0,1,9,4,29,6,22,24,6,16,0,2,0,0,25,6,2,1,6,110,34,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1680002265984328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025887683811854,0.0,0.3097957470146189,0.0,0.14414773456212573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271556219886838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18999757394199293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464494481287468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17130842416036993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617575131015037,0.0,0.08850500650072474,0.0,0.1925489315792357,0.0,0.0,0.1867651494056272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803304651280408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11354588839365605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849211519582052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307645196232716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521422500132765,0.18004640474620884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11479047030508033,0.12883705872849036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17698794137943227,0.0,0.16013865639945168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3477752890707489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055887704645807,0.0,0.14162678250017408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12736843491458344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29975121442001595,0.0,0.0,0.2062847246283974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908866010382808
divorce,CoolDanW,2018/02/13,"A little help... Long story... long... New Years I was informed (in my mind out of the blue) that my wife no longer loved me and wanted a divorce. Due to financial reasons we remain in the same apartment (2 bedroom) until at least May. She has somehow been able to FULLY move on from me, no sadness, no grief, Occasionally ""angry"". We've of course had talks about what happened, why it happened but to this day I'm still sort of in the dark. No longer attracted to me (valid of course, but what does attraction have to do with memories? of our previous life together). She stopped talking to all of our mutual friends (she has since ""connected"" with some periphery mutual friends (people she only casually knew) because she doesn't have many people here. My best friend sent me the the McCarthy song ""For No One"" and it was as if it was written for/by me... How does one deal with moving on when they don't truly have closure? How do I ""become happy"" without this?

""Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all the words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you
She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you
And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!
You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her when she says her love is dead
You think she needs you
And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!""",2.2766131785592343,4.440488801980198,2.8161807215204284,93.48148514851488,78.47194719471946,5.763468760669171,21.009331967679525,6.8039241337230125,0.2776612950950268,1189,32,253,12,29,368,154,303,0.149,0.664,0.187,0.981,0,0,0,0,1,0,51.0,3,12,1,1,10,17,0,0,12,0,23,10,3,4,2,45,47,16,2,9,4,1,1,0,3,3,1,2,1,0,11,11,0,1,6,2,0,3,16,2,0,4,8,8,46,15,41,36,6,37,0,2,5,6,54,14,0,5,19,172,57,0,0.0933304710796812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056893388908060075,0.10307617270479746,0.0,0.10515148072461332,0.09794457136564057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050382800394633,0.12038086561832848,0.0962196175559185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16334824836954973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047190690444773566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530235974278286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163206713197544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506365469429596,0.09935202193737848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06255744744281416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718932354965157,0.0,0.15215358116395816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592207183351945,0.0,0.09354165081634412,0.0,0.16518905993373925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5054063640857198,0.0,0.0622988141686723,0.0946224488781188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18847434052776,0.0,0.0,0.19839104104112848,0.0,0.2768134468779144,0.0,0.09013915054773247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791062082753575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2529725704606736,0.07098202888819534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12940719448883287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959592684379203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422013661337705,0.0,0.0,0.14874460382736154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07720393012758878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745338347641177,0.07802845288446852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701728991314821,0.15003099471687398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059802397348608365,0.0,0.0,0.05442174823032889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11009745990384123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08421623352326592,0.0,0.0,0.08996724361518545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18030529024686887
divorce,lettingitgo2222,2018/02/13,"like getting punched in the face I'm just going to dive in here. Apologies as this will be lengthy...


I (39M) and my STBX (38F) have been married for 15 years, we have 3 children, all girls, aged 9, 7 and 2.5. She is a cild of divorce, my parents are still married, and we have recently decided to divorce. She initiated this, not me, and I'm still clinging to the idea that this can be salvaged. The explanation of things that follows will probably make it clear that is not possible. My friends are being a good support group and not telling me to leave or stay, just guiding me through this. I suspect in here I will be told more of a blunt truth, and at this stage I think that's what I need.


Our relationship, if I am honest, started to fall apart shortly after we got married. After college, we moved cross country to a huge city where we knew nobody and had no family. It was an adventure and something I don't regret or have any misgivings about, but looking back I thing it was all a lot for me to take on. Of course, I never said anything to anybody about that, and this set the tone for everything that would follow. I come from a family of emotionally closed off people, so I myself am one of those, even though I recognized the dangers of that behavior. I never wanted to be that kind of a person, but here I am. We stayed in this city for about 7 years and things had degraded. Our love life had dwindled, driven by me closing myself off. We talked about this constantly, and that felt like such a drain even to have those conversations. I promised to try to be better and ""wake up"" and things would improve for a little while, but I'd eventually slide into old habits. Emotional and physical distance. But she stayed. Divorce was never part of any of this. She believed in me and loved me and wanted us to be us. 


it was Dec. of 2007 when we decided to quit our jobs and move back across the country to where I grew up, to be closer to family (mine) and have kids of our own, in a place where we assumed I could find work in a few months. We lived with my parents when we first arrived. Unfortunately, this move coincided with the recession, which elongated my ""a few months"" timeline for finding a job. We got pregnant during this time, while still living with my parents. That took a tremendous toll, but I was able to find a good job in the nick of time, and we got our own place a month or two before the baby was born. I worked that job for a few years, we had our second child, but my enjoyable, stable job ended because the place went out of business, leaving me to scramble to find a new job. STBX had actually kept her job, working remotely for a year, then started doing freelance work to help support us. 


I did find another job, a great one, in an industry I had always wanted to work in. It was like a dream. But it soon became a nightmare as I was eventually fired - I had begun making mistakes in my work, which clients were beginning to notice. My boss tried to work with me to improve, but I couldn't stop screwing up and they had to let me go. My emotional and physical distance from my STBX had only worsened over this time, as the stresses of having two small children and trying to make ends meet piled up. There never seemed to be enough money. After I lost that job, we realized we had to move again, to the south, where her family was. We couldn't stay put because we were already paycheck-to-paycheck, and there weren't any job prospects for me locally. She had been taking on crazy amounts of freelance work to keep things going.

We moved in with her family. With 2 kids. A humiliating experience. She continued her freelance work which kept us afloat, as we'd had to use credit cards to pay for part of the move and just daily needs. I was getting unemployment, and that's how we survived. I eventually got a sales job, which I did not want but felt I had to take. STBX didn't want me to take it, either, but there wasn't much else available at the time. I hated and still hate sales. I'm not built for that but I can fake my way through it, and I did for 16 months. It never paid enough to get us out of her parents house, so for ~2 years we lived under their roof. I felt like a leech and a scab. I still do. We got pregnant again, this time totally unplanned, while still in her parents house. More feelings of shame. But then I found another one of those ""dream jobs"" and basically talked my way into it. We finally got our own place, and things were starting to look better. You can probably see where this is going. I was fired after 11 months.


She stayed by me through this, but by this time it was clear that she was reaching the end of her supply of support/belief in me. Understandable. After 6 months of unemployment, and being strung along for one promising offer for 3 months that eventually vaporized, I found another despicable sales job and took it. Again, we were using credit cards to buy groceries and get things for the kids. It was starting to feel like we were drowning.


Then, she applied for a job with a big company everybody knows on the west coast, kind of on a whim. Thinking ""hey, I'll never get it, but what the heck."" They contacted her after about a month, then she had a series of interviews and they eventually flew her out for some in-person meetings. And then they made her an offer, for what we considered to be a ridiculous sum of money, more than I've ever made, plus benefits, company stock, etc. She really loved being near her family, and I told her we did not have to do this, that we could find a way to make it work here. I didn't want to influence her decision, but I was very unhappy living in this region of the US and wanted to get out. I didn't let that get into the process of deciding, though, and she said this was too big of an opportunity to pass up - that we could clear our debt, maybe buy a house, etc, etc. So the company paid to relocate all of us, and we all moved again, leaving family and friends behind.


That was 13 months ago. I got a job here after 3 months, but it doesn't pay as much as (I was supposedly told, but I dispute this) I needed to be making. It was a big opportunity with promise of growth, but none of that had panned out. Rent was a lot higher here and there were other costs we didn't fully consider. It piled up, and we've sunk deeper into debt, to the point that we are close to filing bankruptcy. I am declining calls from the credit card companies on my phone all day. 


And that gets us to where we are now. Back in Oct, STBX said she couldn't try to work on the marriage anymore, that she was done. She started sleeping in the guest bedroom. She said if she could afford to move out, she would have. I realized how serious this was and made efforts to show her I wanted to work things out. She wouldn't agree to couple's counseling but I did my best on my own. I got a therapist of my own in order to work on myself. I thought things could be repaired between us and I deeply wanted that and still do. But then her behavior began to change. She took more interest in going to work happy hours and things. She stopped wearing her wedding ring. She began coming home later and later from these happy hours. 11pm, then 1 or 2 am, then 5am and then a few nights she didn't come home at all. She would go out on Friday night and come back Saturday morning. I was definitely in denial about what this meant. She said she was just crashing on a friend's couch and I never pressed her for more details, thinking she would be upset if I did and it would cripple the chances for reconciliation. She was on her phone a lot more, texting and then I began to overhear phone calls. She wasn't careful to hide any of this. I think she wanted me to find out.


Then one morning about a month ago I couldn't take it anymore and checked our cell phone records in the online account. A bunch of hours-long calls to a local number, which I promptly googled and found out belonged to a coworker of hers. This guy was going through a divorce of his own. We even watched the guy's dog over Xmas because he was going out of town, which now feels like the biggest F-U of all time. I confronted her about this that night, she claimed he was just a friend. I asked if it was physical and she said yes, and then I had a meltdown. I slammed my fist on the countertop and screamed at her (I don't normally act that way. I suppress everything, I don't have explosive outbursts but this was long overdue). She didn't seem that sorry. She said she was, but doesn't ever act like it in front of me. 


She broke it off with the guy that same week, and I thought maybe there was a glimmer of hope. Then last week, she pulled another 5am return home and, after I confronted her again, said she stayed at his house. Another meltdown. I left the house for a few hours because I couldn't stand to be there. Long exchange of text messages between us, she's worried I'll hurt myself, I come home that night. I have to drag information out of her, and she eventually says she wants to break up (she has never once said the D word). And that's where we are now.


I fully own my past mistakes and admit to all the things I did. I was depressed for a long time and wasn't getting help. I couldn't see things for what they were. I should have asked for help sooner, but I pushed everyone away. I know I love her and still want to try, for our own sake as well as the kids. I'm in therapy now, I've become physically active again (another thing I neglected for years), I'm taking medication for the depression which helps somewhat (the new depression being created by all this makes it hard to tell if it is actually working). I had been trying to do things for her and be kind and attentive, all the sorts of things I should have been doing for 15 years. But she says this just makes things worse. She is determined to end it. And I feel like I am finally in a place where I realize the things that were wrong and am working to correct them, but I'm not being permitted to try. That's the hardest part.


So I feel like i'm in hell right now. The current situation is taking a toll on me despite my best efforts. I still cling, patrially, some shred of hope, to the idea that we don't have to do this. We don't have to throw away everything we have together, even if it doesn't seem like much. That's the emotional me. The rational me is slowly preparing for Pathetic Divorced Dad in a Shabby 2BR Apt In A Good School District and all that entails. But those two versions of me are always at odds. One will be in control one day and then the other one takes a turn. I feel physically ill all the time now. My appetite is gone. I used to sleep like a rock and now I'll get 45 min and then be awake for 30 min and just repeat that cycle all night. 


I'd just really like for this phase of things to be over with so I can try to get on with my life, or whatever is left of it. It does help to see other stories on here, and recognize the similarities, even if nobody is having exactly the same issues. I'm trying to be strong, fighting off those punches, but struggling and sometimes feeling like giving up. 


I just want the hurt to go away.",4.053275747921886,5.084751364774256,4.801713331032183,85.85402770154424,71.11443898077782,7.987832936290128,27.122018639339533,8.310988554122114,1.6289476944144226,8741,290,1826,130,158,2819,662,2237,0.086,0.795,0.119,0.9974,31,0,1,1,7,3,292.0,59,1,7,31,87,84,9,4,110,1,190,15,5,19,30,363,352,153,1,49,56,6,14,13,5,13,5,13,7,12,135,151,0,8,48,4,21,44,42,29,1,13,128,33,277,55,302,174,59,326,1,9,6,5,224,121,3,25,159,1310,412,43,0.021176740392845204,0.0,0.04133088768378024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03754380525371424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.023369059616513355,0.0,0.035241488880300015,0.0,0.0,0.0576036385940216,0.1332339524154449,0.0,0.0,0.0420032722196226,0.0,0.0,0.01742665296809183,0.0,0.039594787234977946,0.0,0.05968873408423168,0.06513442479969639,0.0,0.05163657755232163,0.02338804599190317,0.01801984633368152,0.023858934638048643,0.04444736508246831,0.037458211935834575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06487145892783576,0.0,0.021591098186268462,0.0,0.02240218340006001,0.09120943365847466,0.0,0.022884533189813646,0.02375151504536081,0.08453952018319036,0.02343166045664356,0.0,0.027314491290726217,0.0,0.054718486409327714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01853190822531403,0.02167115782910393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.017690449258246168,0.09528393052247378,0.07502522559401599,0.04376246745067995,0.07085299006961106,0.06993518653439476,0.038311148153192816,0.0,0.020235282954636,0.057096866342958415,0.020714915602094,0.13974482312520706,0.0,0.07495317362733843,0.07564333783980709,0.060998975200481136,0.04639616797893832,0.13548609949042606,0.018012924560011287,0.0,0.06965760839126839,0.06544438838534551,0.0,0.12170370099288,0.02031465903031003,0.10831706625085012,0.05328613535362753,0.13549579059367525,0.02334743104357285,0.0,0.06290490717389548,0.0,0.0450860678561425,0.018970199856271297,0.04181529380765893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097161349397417,0.0,0.08496798903958158,0.04206656290674158,0.06256447067233406,0.12217557584876415,0.04534027715660662,0.047811924523644855,0.0,0.022103015080248548,0.315219708228771,0.018822859873607115,0.0,0.0661569490636146,0.023276365400603082,0.017261869842058075,0.0,0.06726933118828538,0.046017180798264896,0.04330930363948484,0.02991551602016629,0.1344965138071036,0.021224657202948114,0.07479779897100661,0.07496299541804248,0.03556625686326987,0.0,0.02311691371533884,0.054011122183782456,0.07645133999875554,0.060113831375615476,0.09894947056615784,0.0,0.04254976414396275,0.0,0.0,0.021333338039707984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593379358048887,0.18006018929476628,0.046702022447160686,0.047106854015374566,0.1306624615647731,0.040905255664063486,0.0,0.0993646815347442,0.02074870933726998,0.0,0.024109859295744537,0.02222142673112617,0.02255253738434029,0.11479925878832765,0.016105865329227968,0.0,0.0,0.11757132053995945,0.06879703856149504,0.0202155949030926,0.014681285388117228,0.036981425772155116,0.1106259323554426,0.0,0.02001886459864312,0.023873592929220252,0.0,0.0,0.045664215716533015,0.0,0.0,0.021288473149753386,0.0,0.02252407010429008,0.0,0.0,0.02713272431417065,0.0,0.02090947635693785,0.0227358940080621,0.0,0.01808482058774611,0.18129536584515335,0.03368118786502454,0.0,0.021431991849771008,0.05062536099382889,0.05783552733270025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02380354347219892,0.04238406796299071,0.0,0.0,0.016302889356340198,0.02094433773637365,0.023705627104518213,0.07494502923070231,0.13542952562283914,0.15220595009553226,0.035409406400167244,0.024257884571266985,0.02213852702189066,0.0,0.0,0.07209334212622003,0.0,0.0,0.12737818638048046,0.034042123534199824,0.03701880901192532,0.0,0.02421744821044401,0.02458782779321646,0.2532399360955177,0.054276800657742034,0.04161207983157336,0.03362393281412583,0.11113494859712812,0.0,0.0,0.060705848863908,0.07058441330934327,0.12939854984094892,0.023034212493330826,0.06205979478924437,0.022045733586813845,0.25473011269320445,0.05486971326083138,0.0,0.01747302863176486,0.1623776720036182,0.06723644331084494,0.03397340756370239,0.0,0.019040432837448596,0.019631050504850787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24667070751603376,0.021506007812375064,0.021580907639855228,0.09026009270827716,0.023153441239175745,0.0,0.09545988554399973
divorce,tarynofwinterfell,2018/02/13,"First Break Up Post Divorce Title is self explanatory. The first man I started dating after my divorce and he dumped out of the blue yesterday. No warning, no prior communication that he was unhappy, nothing. We had spent the whole weekend together and everything seemed normal and as it always is. We fell fast and hard and I’ll admit that we may have rushed things but I genuinely thought he loved me the way I loved him. I had met his family and all of his friends, and we spent almost every day with one another. To say I am shocked and hurt would be an understatement. The first person I opened myself up to after my ex and they treated me like a piece of garbage. It hurts and I don’t really know where to go from here. Any other’s have any advice on how to deal with your first breakup?",3.5307692307692307,5.403758743589744,4.445128205128206,84.56653846153847,73.74358974358975,7.620512820512822,25.461538461538463,8.384062270229773,1.642553846153846,628,21,124,11,13,203,107,156,0.125,0.7609999999999999,0.113,0.4497,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,4,1,1,4,3,9,1,0,7,0,12,2,0,1,1,29,23,13,0,2,1,1,1,1,1,2,0,1,0,3,6,18,0,0,4,1,2,3,3,4,0,5,7,3,21,5,17,13,3,25,0,2,1,2,25,6,0,3,14,87,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1506055394002292,0.0,0.0,0.15433020766980884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282412584401916,0.0,0.0,0.20961552246337534,0.1616096090865255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939548095354377,0.15889228101181613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985383276722084,0.0,0.13851427631567334,0.0,0.14529183436479454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.524381957098384,0.0,0.0,0.1190737251892452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08759067998731294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13806240199971162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299800539267572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08470102954576596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07529587659951043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2782009603561308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15100613969284746,0.14788353300048254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443657378537972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13457276439261875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476055913344775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873404392131367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12256343459954545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403062326696726,0.16078211652107807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10908784126603442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239133578073614,0.0,0.0,0.12235508756278295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233430506458155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720709146340591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1094833414024522,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Jeeztro2,2018/02/13,"I don't feel guilty but feeling like I should Married for 5 years and couple months, dated for 7 years before marriage. Practically, we were a couple for 12 years straight, no breakups. Hell, we were our first. We have a baby, 9 months old, boy.

We are separated for about 3 weeks now. She took my son, and went to stay at her parents, as usual. She actually admits that she spent about 60% of marriage at her parents house. Anyway, she is pretty serious about divorce, probably more than me. But yeah, I don't want this marriage no more. No point. There is no love, no respect, constant fight and not talking at all besides baby stuff. After baby goes sleep at night, we actually don't talk to each other. Don't sleep in same bed etc.

She packed her stuff more than 10 times, but I stopped her each time. I was always scared to loose my son because she hates me for no reason. I just wanted to see him grow up and get a divorce after he is 20 or something. Well this time, I didn't stop her. I was like, ""Ok, I can survive this. Even the baby doesn't know me at all, we'll end up together when he knows what's going on in his life"". So yeah, she went obviously. At the moment, she has no issues with me visiting her at work (she is a dentist and runs her own clinic), where also my son is being take care of with his babysitter. I basically just ride to her work, play with the baby for about 1-1,5 hours and come back home. I am actually happy about this situation, but I feel like she will come back to herself and will demand money and stuff. After I refuse, I am pretty sure she'll use the kid against me.

Anyway, I just love my son man. So much...",2.664466622310933,4.164927167664672,3.9314504324683988,88.90901419383457,75.22754491017966,6.385273896651142,22.849412286538033,6.937597516519254,0.584673231315147,1270,35,272,12,27,416,180,334,0.131,0.69,0.179,0.9701,2,0,1,0,3,1,61.0,7,0,0,4,21,17,3,1,8,3,27,7,2,2,4,48,50,18,0,3,9,6,3,3,0,5,3,0,2,3,10,20,0,3,7,1,2,10,14,5,1,1,9,4,54,12,41,35,11,53,1,0,1,2,54,15,1,1,30,187,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.28159321553887834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692051929116428,0.08003509183500837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479233663529533,0.0,0.058634557701048126,0.0,0.08184785047348782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806881497124584,0.0,0.0,0.16571275802494936,0.0,0.10394371938535647,0.0,0.0,0.21285764660669887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519292191023026,0.0,0.1072736661092317,0.06353044953112183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590475176164314,0.13743168482532028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08181641112123797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050253613490570295,0.0,0.054665153804185865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239259736165454,0.0,0.09496451444974677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964831654660926,0.0,0.09472458580239032,0.11098660974584372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039399003752922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10572345843559718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793955499718067,0.1409759808599303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736246172371637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15355071244671528,0.0,0.0707083378937216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902647608198546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10093182698218926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21360803383852395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09092758095590203,0.0,0.0,0.19571303463688305,0.10370559855912763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09889601182425777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09629972926806883,0.0,0.07664839644136044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10811795121749336,0.1925124550373605,0.0,0.0,0.07404926910111641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252229086396156,0.0,0.16083288096518092,0.0,0.0,0.3303324920494937,0.0,0.0,0.09065488541662713,0.0,0.07232047487668307,0.154622552558579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682618243374354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686703240644292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08307447990647687,0.10593612982840618,0.0,0.11346688937624633,0.0,0.07715521905287738,0.0,0.08648345113338098,0.17833218514802374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400502174873222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18582336450143355
divorce,truckface-,2018/02/13,How do you tell people your story? People ask me often why I am divorced. I feel like that’s a really personal question. My divorce was really messy and I don’t like talking about it. I don’t think people realize how invasive they can be sometimes. ,1.6855782312925172,4.335661673469389,4.211326530612244,79.4152210884354,85.3265306122449,7.348299319727893,24.493197278911573,8.344100000000001,2.3135278911564625,198,8,34,5,6,69,38,49,0.061,0.83,0.109,0.2975,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,2,1,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,7,0,0,2,0,8,10,3,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,9,2,1,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,2,2,24,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24815496840365145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421681945051864,0.18963375153587453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2593657511696101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5520778111510795,0.2317760792487371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2973588214276563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34010135248005474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2625316023728396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21335440041359427,0.2320103736428185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17008624989370733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395225605529734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,spooniam,2018/02/13,"Need advice about living situation Been separated for 3 weeks. We have a 7 year old girl, and she's splitting time with us 50/50. A friend of mine offered to let me stay in his finished basement for a bit until I get back on my feet (wife and I own a business that supports 1 household, not 2, so I need time to find a job in my old profession before committing to a lease). My friend has 2 little girls around my daughters age. My STBX thinks this will be bad for our daughter, and that I should just find a place that's more permanent. Obviously I want what's best for my little girl. My opinion is that she would love it for 6-8 weeks (all the girls get along great). Does anyone have experience with a similar situation?",5.043279693486588,5.3549890827586255,5.748505747126438,82.54429118773945,68.51724137931035,8.9272030651341,29.214559386973185,8.841846274778883,2.035674329501916,567,19,119,9,9,185,99,145,0.025,0.831,0.14400000000000002,0.9399,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,9,0,10,2,1,0,3,22,18,5,0,5,2,3,0,0,2,3,0,0,0,4,7,8,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,20,6,18,12,5,19,0,0,0,1,17,7,0,1,11,75,27,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143804839170112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028989747081204,0.0,0.0,0.13100523071566886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11315836514996205,0.12287398287447293,0.0,0.0,0.12522388016129027,0.0,0.15443726365659305,0.0,0.16066260610528488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12878231100279525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14395250996448958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690064970103522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273937329054108,0.0,0.15377196681428765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622464394499107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14603541094552724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15048294387180186,0.0,0.0,0.2949896331888903,0.12994659390028224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328192990785942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218237267686751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.308843175070842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15375279277621592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33083213030571035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15685493254545801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699750315418407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429535989437496,0.0,0.0,0.17162249551787725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17701756449356393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08679986142169947,0.0,0.23608869013915584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453954326571166,0.0,0.0,0.0947673950013415
divorce,spotintheuniverse,2018/02/13,"Me f28, husband 33, married 8 yrs. Divorce remorse? Hello, I just told my husband today that I want a divorce. I am completely unhappy in the marriage and was very sure about my decision. But after I told him I then felt really guilty and like I had made the wrong decision. Is it normal to feel like this? I am very confused right now and upside down. Any advice will help. Thanks. ",1.5847597597597591,4.199604472972972,3.243693693693693,86.45160660660662,85.35135135135134,5.991591591591593,24.43843843843844,7.3871296695380915,1.4800258258258263,297,12,55,5,9,98,57,74,0.168,0.648,0.185,0.1031,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,3,0,6,0,0,1,1,14,13,5,0,2,2,2,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,6,2,11,4,5,6,0,7,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,1,6,35,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232633899928035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15537101864466552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395519741240925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11552396164421347,0.16322277884818426,0.2193720893217572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314215771860892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22324295280284914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21618882518374746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2238572551302894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14636710868244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19511663258131426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21533523848846006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2103493323931763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21656784145743332,0.43663582398090106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3770320519449226,0.13476063409096958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24980184156863286,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ralthrowaway89,2018/02/13,"Freshly married, realizing it was a huge mistake. Wife and I have been married since October, dating for 7 years. I've only recently realized and begun to vocalize to myself that I am profoundly unhappy with where I am in life. I made a huge mistake proposing, even though all the obvious signs were there. I was clearly feeling pressured into moving forward, but I didn't have the strength at the time to break things off before they got serious.

We have no real shared assets, apart from a joint credit card and shared health insurance. We rent our house, have no kids. I recently met someone who made me realize that I'm not ready for any of this, and I'm worried that if I stick with it my unhappiness will only continue to grow, and I'll become resentful and an even worse person. My guilt is so strong though, because I know this will completely devastate and blindside her, but I dont think i can continue.

Is this an overreaction? Should I just suck it up and try to make it work? Shes not a bad person at all, and our relationship has always been pretty good and loving. I feel like a monster.

Edit: Thanks to all for the advice and thoughts. I dont take any of this lightly and I appreciate that none of you do either. I'm pretty far from being a good person, but I can try to be better. Things may not end outright between my wife and I, but I owe her a direct explanation, and that's what I'll do - update to follow. C'est la vie.",4.4934154929577454,5.6142850316901445,5.695183098591549,79.5227042253521,70.16197183098592,8.778591549295774,28.9887323943662,9.120678840339163,2.4177259154929582,1135,42,217,22,20,379,167,284,0.154,0.6509999999999999,0.194,0.943,2,0,0,1,0,0,34.0,4,1,1,4,8,19,2,2,13,0,28,3,0,3,5,51,47,22,0,4,10,2,2,1,0,4,2,0,1,4,17,19,0,0,8,0,3,4,9,8,0,0,11,3,32,11,25,30,5,26,0,0,0,1,21,12,1,2,12,151,49,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12100258417002233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10303421594103232,0.0,0.0,0.16841359223058686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10339060591338173,0.07548396011378276,0.13675750132768133,0.10536789434039122,0.0,0.0,0.1095151657885596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298305463917745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29024929815107026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10967421554087167,0.0,0.0,0.16357350021699454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12522158597483402,0.08846223304536839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20772089379601708,0.09903598706164246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162260742899728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14288005489754868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805223431830486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08746286934920741,0.06049575388907645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117589540721187,0.2343367313087725,0.08265567044078496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160880127109836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18835245149662175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32436361202765257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25195371943623923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14094255303957964,0.0,0.0,0.2445289992703968,0.1329441568598762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243120499985857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10491845188248326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09310270350864758,0.0,0.0,0.11400352202317515,0.0,0.0,0.16453068426871806,0.07934352062356101,0.24331934633547794,0.0983050280913078,0.07220468232924157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16814118876322026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901477340772254,0.12575261280793634,0.12619057642659898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07974070800676412
divorce,ArtimusX,2018/02/13,"Today is the day my Divorce was finalized in front of a Judge in TX! Its a bittersweet feeling as my ex was there. Been separated for 8 years and for whatever reason, I didn't start to file until September of last year. I felt anxious learning the process, but in the end it was pretty straightforward and the end-result, surprisingly easy. Now the divorce was an uncontested, no kids, so your mileage may vary.
   Didn't even have to go in front of the actual Judge in a big courtroom (Something that I was anxious about). Instead it was with the Assistant Judge, in a small court room, which there were about 4 other people getting Divorced that day. Judge was super friendly and made things easier by asking the questions and all my ex and I had to do was say ""Yes"" Or ""No"" with some minor brief explanation.


 

  Ex and I had coffee after the Divorce. I supposed things are much easier once time heals, and two people become more amicable and agree on things and thus the bittersweet ending.



Thanks for reading. ",5.251679331306992,6.9227030585106375,5.58969604863222,78.90500000000003,68.94680851063829,8.5629179331307,29.386018237082077,9.04235418022936,2.5139273556231005,797,30,142,15,14,254,118,188,0.046,0.764,0.19,0.987,0,0,1,0,4,0,26.0,0,1,0,1,8,4,0,0,15,1,19,1,0,3,1,23,27,14,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,1,1,1,1,1,10,11,0,0,5,1,0,4,4,0,0,1,16,3,10,4,24,10,4,28,0,0,0,0,13,10,0,4,14,102,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.15280685947591496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35379871824553993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638822024063153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17293864504649853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20197202945418824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4160702714229144,0.0,0.0,0.10342459908381756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07917536953666929,0.0,0.1503486029294369,0.1715340056284543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097915166979582,0.0,0.08181053126704645,0.0,0.08899231247031464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763975162730634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816692467955173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151098654663042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676062886820667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21711618007258296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930583123672964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17541389125379225,0.0,0.15662992348394852,0.0,0.0,0.16099807965158164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12452470366593307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12054874514119385,0.0,0.0,0.11083347289991548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441647766141651,0.0,0.0,0.3120894283286307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913074588728566,0.0,0.14842668683713695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15296328198931514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20167449483733668
divorce,abermarm,2018/02/14,"Today would have been my 26 wedding anniversary Life pro tip ---- never get married on a major holiday or god forbid, Valentine's Day.  

But stupid me did.  I was young.  God, so young and so stupid.

This Valentine's is hitting me harder then last year.  I think because this Valentines my ex is celebrating with his new wife.   Last year she was still his OW.   Now....now she has legitimacy.

So, instead of sinking further into a depression I am going to list what my life would look like if I were still married to him.

*I would not be in school.
*I would be walking on egg shells.
*I would still be living a life of Death by a Thousand Cuts.  Little insults, looks and 'jokes' would be killing me a little more each day.
*Would never have experienced an orgasm.
*Would still be deferring to a man who didn't respect me.

So what the hell am I mourning for, exactly?  

My life is  my own, now.   Yes it would be great to have someone I could lean on but honestly that was all illusionary with my ex.  And yes, it would be great to be financially solvent again but debt can and will be paid down.  I will be OK in the long run.  

I don't know what my point is with this post, except to say that when everything feels horrible again, it's good to remember why the marriage sucked as hard as it did.

",2.004584980237152,4.213942786561265,3.2350608695652205,89.8936347826087,79.63241106719367,6.261438735177865,23.55873517786561,7.404127859558343,0.9553643952569169,987,34,207,14,25,319,142,253,0.138,0.7390000000000001,0.123,-0.0291,1,0,0,0,0,0,43.0,0,0,0,0,13,18,7,0,10,3,43,6,1,0,4,36,53,17,3,12,7,3,2,1,0,12,4,1,0,1,13,9,1,1,4,2,2,3,5,10,0,1,9,6,27,8,24,20,5,37,1,2,2,1,14,11,2,2,23,148,40,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05935488393314491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07774075891304177,0.0,0.0,0.12558914917327316,0.0,0.08386327583470886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08750845583697965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04923239778528447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05087097972431035,0.0,0.05533671586264846,0.08166800948947889,0.0,0.2146980493932545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08722297751175574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772372829698727,0.0,0.05351113618397233,0.15873651268328035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2750967729227086,0.04756929081518335,0.19517746907610567,0.08597809705494693,0.08616798601360315,0.16352989668354873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019305322351714,0.0940390249425795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920446273591099,0.0,0.09325202942364737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11029943686925016,0.0,0.0,0.07743127415574029,0.0,0.09854203736956006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08249994468418152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3110341778842193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06238975075446061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09229387536907448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08785985264716617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6916773058227621,0.0,0.0,0.1254041378156066
divorce,daffodil2017,2018/02/14,"the things i used to fantasize about are now reality when I was in the midst of my miserable, toxic, abusive marriage I would fantasize about a life without him...imagine if he died in some tragic car accident. I didn't want him to suffer, I just wanted out, and I was so fooled by religious obligation to think the only way I was getting out of that mess was his death. 
And I would daydream about the kind of life I could have...
I'd buy clothes I liked, I'd decorate my home how I liked, I'd paint and sing and surround myself with beautiful things.  I would go back to get my Masters degree because I believe I'm capable of more.  If I felt like going out with my friends I would, and if I felt like staying in and watching a movie and being lazy I would and I wouldn't feel bad about it.  Because I work hard and I deserve to do the things that make me happy.  
Two years since my divorce and it occurred to me today...I have the things I once dreamed about.  A small home full of beautiful things that make me smile. Sketchpads and canvases full of images I've created.  A wardrobe I am confident in.  Halfway through graduate school with all A's.  And this new man, this man that touches my face and smiles and tells me I make him so happy.  That I am special and beautiful and he wants me in his life.  
It is just really amazing to me how much a person's life can change, how it can all turn around.  It was so scary but now I'm here and I'm just so happy that sometimes I could burst.  ",3.1045838100686503,4.33893339144737,4.1595194508009135,88.78250572082382,73.63815789473685,7.523798627002289,27.362128146453088,8.04050195162591,1.5624478260869568,1157,43,250,17,23,376,148,304,0.08800000000000001,0.77,0.142,0.9317,0,0,0,0,1,0,33.0,0,0,0,2,21,17,0,1,12,0,24,5,1,7,2,57,43,29,2,14,8,0,5,4,1,6,4,0,2,3,18,24,0,0,4,2,1,3,3,6,0,1,8,6,42,11,33,26,7,24,0,3,1,0,13,13,0,4,10,173,60,3,0.0,0.1233569618912512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268270452816142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800565234287957,0.08693006368325905,0.12693272085576265,0.0,0.0,0.11729977600698488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013782194213476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625162743707894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805292813170908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052642695857835764,0.0,0.19992974640931027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08043749872922866,0.0,0.10878956273047696,0.0,0.11833971262718368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3324908932937444,0.0932648597980464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20886779383293566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10841773985571644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941525580696147,0.20345754594184187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084888457241335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765350850073716,0.0,0.0,0.10055305066411643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108770204413716,0.0,0.07918268037434961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09090751589081678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666974978722644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10536798400681964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08612340642679404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297048725609828,0.0,0.0,0.11097067870860662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09099941114343353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3458404836439465,0.06671145061707605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986870156473959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11324512208756275,0.10170334004504387,0.0,0.0,0.08992026359242064,0.0,0.0,0.18422575645150616,0.08264010798800579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003612830870661,0.0,0.07579555410285521,0.0,0.0,0.3697946848028431,0.0,0.0,0.06704540285781406
divorce,readitx3,2018/02/14,How did you know when it was time to divorce? What moment did you realize your marriage was over and you needed to ask for a divorce or knew it was coming? When you look back what signs were there? When did you know it couldn't be saved or wasn't worth it?,2.8516666666666666,3.893657685185186,3.2231481481481516,95.9991666666667,74.0,6.140740740740743,20.907407407407405,5.985473137389443,-0.14483703703703732,201,4,47,1,4,62,34,54,0.092,0.908,0.0,-0.607,0,0,0,0,2,0,4.0,0,6,0,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,10,0,0,1,0,13,17,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,0,4,0,1,1,2,0,0,0,9,1,6,1,4,6,0,8,0,0,1,0,10,1,0,2,6,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4176506537151504,0.0,0.0,0.3435229356772758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848353003276018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4910438926206291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37515722312111294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3312592346601489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605033371171017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheHopelessGamer,2018/02/14,"Any advice for first time meeting with an attorney? I'm looking for any good questions to ask, general advice, or things to especially pay attention to when I first met my potential attorney to get everything done and squared away.",10.417073170731706,9.71718204878049,9.961097560975613,60.15920731707318,57.780487804878035,15.029268292682927,47.32926829268293,13.816669648895859,7.023087804878049,188,11,29,7,2,61,32,41,0.041,0.89,0.07,0.2975,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,6,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,2,1,8,4,0,5,0,0,2,0,4,1,0,2,4,18,3,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4902353416999398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411592219306105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345012769209876,0.0,0.2356721736707908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2566961228063768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254385657073336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42672827464243024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105340044554947,0.0,0.0,0.21039245576198126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2106421888376456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809978932804606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666467637361885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626665767845978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RelativeRepair,2018/02/14,"Is it bad for me to want my parents to divorce? Cut to the chase - my parents only get along for maybe a third of the year, my mum works close to 50 hour weeks and my dad works full time too. They spend a lot of the time arguing and majority of it is my dads fault. My dad causes conflict with almost everyone he comes across so whilst I know my mum isn't the easiest person to live with either, My dad is 85% of the problem. 

Is it wrong for me to just wish they would separate so I can start living peacefully with my mum? ",2.786363636363636,3.695936136363642,4.147045454545456,89.82056818181817,74.0,7.6818181818181825,23.75,8.07648339933343,1.0118181818181813,405,11,93,6,8,134,67,110,0.179,0.7609999999999999,0.06,-0.9286,2,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,0,2,2,4,6,2,0,7,0,7,0,0,1,0,19,13,4,0,4,2,9,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,8,0,1,1,0,1,1,1,6,0,1,0,0,15,0,18,12,4,11,0,0,0,0,15,3,0,2,7,60,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948747741144095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16249203034042084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1999190733828264,0.0,0.16764011789583294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859591208993068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1016761991129548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916526032251042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695309913211568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.343690102407606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1654512866231033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19551287601025025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480104115499745,0.0,0.0,0.4321849011866167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16992679177281708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18621641469770067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377466456264333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269584422707213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147865918051012,0.0,0.1561051807049861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22379301018627132,0.0,0.0,0.28335820670339623,0.0,0.0,0.13824604882759747,0.21277654423134448,0.0,0.12532308356580313
divorce,nkflsk42,2018/02/14,"Mid-20s, splitting from Narc parents I'm mid-20s.  I have a small bank account but my dad manages other money for me through a couple very reputable institutions.  I'm cutting ties.  My goals are (A) cutting ties, (B) ensuring that taxes are handled properly, and perhaps (C) retaining/managing money.

How do I do this?  Do I contact those two organizations directly and ask them what to do given the breakup?  Is there a type of person I can find on Yelp (CPA?) who can handle all this for me? 

Thank you",2.971612903225811,5.675207720430112,4.277860215053764,80.95679032258064,79.32258064516128,6.730752688172044,31.880645161290325,7.908726449838941,2.6741535483870966,390,21,68,7,10,128,70,93,0.039,0.884,0.077,0.6553,1,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,0,1,1,1,2,3,2,0,5,0,10,0,0,1,1,6,15,4,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,7,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,2,0,1,1,0,10,1,7,14,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,2,0,0,0,46,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3433927331351824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4064303656110751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3357219851747311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4078631549040248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207278977349275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33817705128175696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588162994624571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30307580755027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mydivorcethrowawayum,2018/02/14,"It’s late, and this is weird. Not sure if I’m in shock, or somehow subconsciously relieved.  12 years, a kid, and what I thought was an unbreakable connection has vanished within 2 weeks.  

I’ve typed the story out four times so far, but I keep deleting it.  All I know is, this sucks.  ",2.505357142857143,4.446894535714286,3.3172857142857133,91.2277142857143,76.85714285714286,6.622857142857143,25.485714285714288,7.554174236665415,1.14264,218,8,47,3,5,69,48,56,0.159,0.8079999999999999,0.034,-0.6852,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,0,2,5,1,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,13,9,6,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,2,0,3,2,3,7,1,8,0,0,0,0,1,4,1,3,4,28,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3867751260601807,0.0,0.0,0.2391432338787275,0.0,0.4908603007044334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41011716389592107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454549664649438,0.2537354049631321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34904549790463885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2802178499433569
divorce,Throwawaycheater89,2018/02/14,"I cheated and lied and cause way too much damage to my family Hey guys. I just need some advice in my situation. 

To start off....i am (was) a terrible husband. Quick to anger, lying about stupid shit, very selfish for my needs, and overall a bad guy. My wife is not perfect i get it, but she tried to make things work between us. She always loved me more than I did to her.

We thought having a child would help us. I promised i would go to therapy or counseling but I never did and always brushed it off saying I was fine. I wasnt. She stopped working and I had to work extra to support ourselves. 

Thats when resentment sunk in. She would cook or clean for occasionally but sometimes i would get home from having a bad day and took it out on her. I made her feel worthless. I said she never cooked or clean and she internalized it and believed me. My blame shifting

Then I cheated. Someone from work. Something new exciting and fun. Meanwhile my wife was home blaming herself for things that werent true. I justified it to myself saying she will never know. But they always know. She could see my guilt.

Eventually I told her of the affair and she was heartbroken. How could i do that to someone i loved? I am a terrible man. The thought of never coming home to my child ever again crushes me. I get it, its my fault. Not hers. 

And besides all this she still wants to work things out. I dont get it. I ruined our marriage and family because I am a dumbass. I dont want to hurt my wife anymore. What should I do?",0.8378232833739965,3.3142575331125883,2.4353014987800634,91.75782502614149,87.90728476821192,5.1657023353084695,22.18577901707912,6.7183091564049375,0.6412834437086095,1173,43,242,15,38,382,157,302,0.227,0.637,0.136,-0.9807,1,0,1,0,0,0,43.0,4,0,1,6,9,26,6,1,8,0,26,5,1,4,8,56,51,22,0,11,10,4,1,0,0,6,0,3,5,5,16,16,2,1,5,2,0,3,9,17,0,0,14,6,60,9,29,29,5,24,0,4,1,2,40,6,1,4,14,178,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923305772071753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.227946986455008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09056105580776112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524902954516306,0.05566546050253891,0.0,0.0,0.10288199928674327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938068116408412,0.0,0.07866075355796291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458169861669894,0.0,0.0,0.05889134439826954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.214043630166774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260066043949447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1721694260895547,0.0,0.046172175106076886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083561957655507,0.0,0.05189705660383498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18083463527541854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120727182195136,0.0,0.274792547961014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09775579741619714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10036990523138796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648327309359239,0.08640552271833403,0.06095422062245871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671278567545633,0.13541949503706935,0.281714491477616,0.08819367980796032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08686254335479708,0.14523649100325164,0.0,0.0,0.07276712662255189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373468714830337,0.0,0.10264314730228144,0.0,0.0,0.15474370794665032,0.07029961214010125,0.09031397976247353,0.0,0.06463402126565941,0.0,0.07292517311404123,0.07634436699022616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036244532810558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10442794396780404,0.0,0.1819991219222689,0.0,0.0,0.14498960176887948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725646798939289,0.10145557167455284,0.06199765279829283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21968410299947666,0.0,0.0,0.07534536417915694,0.10772122953707358,0.07248248735421386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33239612250768125,0.0,0.0,0.25947341277693203,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,awesomesauceome,2018/02/14,How to save my child from the hurt? I can't escape it anymore. The marriage is over. How do I protect my sweet child in this terrible life-changing event? My heart can't take the thought of hurting him. He's so innocent. He won't understand why this is happening. I don't know how to let something happen that will hurt the person I love the most in this world. He didn't ask for this.,0.8535694444444459,3.140562662499999,2.184166666666666,95.23527777777781,84.875,5.555555555555557,22.63888888888889,6.937597516519254,0.6234722222222224,303,11,67,4,9,97,53,80,0.162,0.655,0.183,0.4278,0,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,0,5,0,10,2,1,3,0,8,18,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,1,8,3,8,13,1,5,0,3,0,1,10,4,0,1,1,42,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19861391307342102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1872253092313761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21185898485288684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35419599808512586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373207795125719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6431791660531724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11006309199360044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20478952742887813,0.14145654336902105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807513914328532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17486793993660862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417754276549295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505780305933155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15899191934888113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848801452214985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18071242238630747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,XxPurelyTwiztedxX,2018/02/14,"She’s leaving this weekend Me (m34) and my stbx (f32) married for just under 15 years have 3 kids 13, 11 and 6 are separating. She just left the house to be with one of her friends for the night after a fun filled weekend at the beach with her BFF from out of town because she’s so overwhelmed right now. 
The same weekend I ended up watching someone else’s dogs cause she forgot she promised them that she would watch them, oops! 
She’s been unhappy for years close to 8 especially the times when she “kissed” her sisters boyfriend and the other time she got eaten out on the military base by the girl across the street while I slept cause she was “taken advantage of”, she was also unhappy when she was texting pictures of her Tits to a guy from Xbox a few years ago that I happened to find on her phone trying to help with it being so slow.
She told me almost 2 weeks ago on Thursday when I asked her to go eat sushi on my day off with me, her fave. I think we should separate, I haven’t been happy for a very long time and you don’t give me the attention I crave to have. I’m emotionally distant, have ptsd from multiple tours overseas and weeks before I would have never taken my wife out because I was afraid of something happening (irrational fears). I was getting better in the weeks leading up to that day, and she said she noticed it, then that bombshell. 
She wanted to know what it was like to be alone, to do it on her own since she never held a job for more than 8 months and her $10/ hour job was apparently making her feel exceptionally capable of doing it alone. And she wanted some time to herself that Saturday she was house sitting and itd  be perfect for her to clear her head. Space I could give her for the night no kids arguing, jumping on the bed and not asking for things constantly. I agree I’m cool with it hoping that time alone would clear her head and help her see I was different now and ready to give her what she needed. That night a panic attack tore me from my sleep something had happened to her in my dream. I texted her and she didn’t read it, I needed to make sure she was ok so I drove to where she was staying, but I stopped halfway and turned around realizing how nuts I really was acting, she was fine sleeping soundly so I bought flower to put on the doorstep for when she got up in the morning she would see them and hopefully smile.
She wasn’t there it was almost midnight and she wasn’t there, I stayed until 3 my children at home I couldn’t take it anymore and had to get back. I awoke to a text saying I’m coming home I can’t sleep at 6 in the morning. She comes home and I don’t press her, I slowly ask about her night, she didn’t go anywhere before went to her friends house after she left our home (830pm) and she had a beer or two there but fell asleep around 12 and took a shower to try to get to sleep early in the morning .
I bide my time for 2 days and I break it to her in our bedroom, where were you really on Saturday? She sits there stunned and I explain that I know what’re she wasn’t. She puts her hands over her eyes and finally says that she went to the bar and met some people she’s met before and was invited over to hang they chilled and she sat by a fire which is why she showered and she lied because didn’t want me to loose it because she wasn’t alone like she had wanted. I try not to loose it, I’m a changed guy I don’t have to freak out I can believe her, I was becoming a person again able to feel and this was making me want to go back to the dark place I cloaked myself in for so many years.
After 2 days of great talks and even better sex she comes home @ 4 after a girls night out and won’t let me cuddle her. Shes cold and distant the whole day and finally texts me while at work saying that she has made her mind up and she ls going out as soon as I get home, she no longer wants to work it out. She wants to leave. I come home and speak with her plead with her to stay, Ive changed and she knows it. She won’t look me in the eye she leaves after saying she just wants me to let her go. 
She texts me at 5 in the morning saying she’s seeing someone after my wall of text hours before of love and wanting to work it out. I’m crushed and she comes home and we talk about it I plead with her to stay. Too late it seems I don’t even care about him I can forgive her I feel because we have to work on us we can get over it. She points to a painting of a galaxy she hung on the wall the week before , it came from him she told me it had come from her gfs house. Then she leaves for the weekend. 
I take my kids to the park and a gun range and have a good time with them. 
Tonight she left again after her bff got on the plane out of here no more coping mechanism she’s been feeling like she’s sick and her vehicle broke down on her the night before it’s not all going to plan anymore. I told her she should probably leave this Saturday and we need to tell the kids because I’m not going to lie in a bed with her anymore. She also has to help with  bills still as I can’t do it alone and she needs to make sure the kids are taken care of while being away. She balks when I say I’m moving when the lease is up and gets scared I’m moving them out of state. I tell her that would be unfair to the kids I’m not a monster. I’m starting to see that she would do it and it scares her that I could. I’m realizing for the first time since she told me she wanted to leave that I’m not the one who’s most terrified and scared she is. 
She’s forcing my hand she’s unstable more than ever now, I think she wants me to lash out and be extremely angry she hints at how she thinks I should be acting, she’s no longer in control and I realize like my mom said, YOU DESERVE BETTER.
I’m not going to turn back into that shadow of a man I was, I won’t let her change me for the worst. I love her and want her to be happy but I feel she’s going to poison any relationship she gets into for quite some time after this. 
Sorry for the rollercoaster First time post short time lurker, I know I’m going to need you guys over the next however long this goes on for. 


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divorce,DaCroissant,2018/02/14,"What to do once it's final? 43, male, married for almost 14 years (since we still technically are) but separated for almost 3.  Two girls and the custody battle is all that's holding things up.  Wife was emotionally abusive (so says the counselor) and the divorce has had its share of nasty moments.  But it's almost done.  And that leaves me with my question - what to do with everything I've been holding in for three years?

All the anger and hurt and... well... rage, basically, that I've been holding in for all that time to make sure I looked good to the court, is still going to be there.  The sense of betrayal at the way she's used the kids as weapons, the devastation at how quickly she's moved on (three bf's in the last year, current one sees my kids more than I do), the damage I see her chaotic lifestyle doing to my girls.  None of that will be gone and I won't have the leash of ""good behavior"" holding me back.  But I know letting it all out wouldn't be good for me or the kids.  So how do I deal with it?  How do I manage to let the final decree actually be final for me?",4.8867202797202784,4.74083733636364,5.599090909090911,85.0617132867133,68.81818181818181,8.405594405594405,28.74125874125874,7.882392219407189,1.5589020979020969,834,26,183,9,13,272,122,220,0.2,0.733,0.068,-0.9903,1,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,1,0,0,0,11,12,4,0,14,0,25,0,0,5,5,35,33,16,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,3,0,1,0,6,13,11,0,4,2,0,0,3,3,6,1,4,6,4,18,6,30,18,6,26,0,2,3,0,17,8,0,5,14,131,31,1,0.0,0.1515750893272774,0.12484036815358032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3843076062445223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09836959749907397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13188930646040267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309159068829481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439030423996185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11497444508824305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4204202969740996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727050676241641,0.32190263155847804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13695076998400516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07030649929710807,0.10427930813338948,0.0,0.13545846769196987,0.0,0.2616323874868185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742824191501396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539368169112302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13596840995374682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624033877033415,0.08668808325956429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330989353803947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173437176307426,0.0,0.0,0.20388589288579406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105824290921002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20432872265701651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057168261679754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0849904235604198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0745964992667883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496816244388488,0.0,0.0,0.110489686008716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154418168421364,0.0,0.0,0.11502364349960142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471464789182007
divorce,JingleKramp,2018/02/15,"Do I cut off my relationship with my father? I haven't been able to find many people that have discussed the actually financial effects that divorce seems to always have on at least one parent. And I'm really fucking confused right now with how to handle this situation.

He's the short version:

My dad and mom built a business together. He did copywriting, and she did all of the administrative duties. They split years ago, but they finally came to a seperation agreement 2 days ago, but it hasnt been signed yet. It is being made up as we speak. My dad was dragging it out and refused to compromise on anything reasonable. My mom got horrifically screwed over in this agreement. Here's how it looks:

-She get's 30k/yr.(she's helping run the business for 30 years. She is still is going to to work for him bc she's 60 yrs old and doesn't have the skills to go found another job).

-She gets $3800 a month for the next 11 years in compensation for being a spouse.

-She gets only $120/k from the business paid back over time. The business makes over 600k yearly in revenue. (Her name wasn't on any of the papers, so legally she doesn't own any of the business).

-No retirement fund.

-They split the house 50/50.

My dad's argument is that he doesn't want to be locked down to paying her because the business could go under any day. The business is in a heavily regulated industry, and could be destroyed by the government any day. He promises that if the business is going well he will always take care of her. But he's known for breaking promises. My mom wants this on paper, with specific numbers so she can plan for her future.

My sister is sick over this. Hasn't been able to sleep or eat. She's been calling me every day and strategizing how to handle this. Her plan is to cut my dad off entirely if he doesn't agree to change the terms of the agreement. Her concern is that my mom will live in poverty in 11 years, at 71 years old, when her $3800/mo ends and this scares the shit out of me as well too. My sister is planning on having a baby soon, and is going to threaten to ban my father from seeing his grandchild. She thinks that will have a powerful effect. I agree.

I plan on taking responsibility upon myself, and have a goal to purhase her a home in 2 years. I own a small business and am working to scale it so that I can purchase her a house.

However, I need to consider how to handle my relationship with my Father. I am basically all he has other than fleety friendships and a new girlfriend that he already seems bored with. He even has said to me ""I'd kill myself if I didn't have you"".

I feel so confused about how to handle my relationship with him. My sister wants me to cut him off, and I feel such contempt for his selfishness deep down, but he's been extremely supportive of me my entire life.

Do I cut him off? Do I help him make more money so that everyone in my family can be taken care of?

Would love any advice at all. I'm going to grab dinner with him soon and plan on bringing this up. I dont know how I couldnt.",3.2746775109389086,4.883887122749592,4.433454023180467,85.48626373626375,73.84451718494272,7.3445472460670045,25.726343565249337,8.025739664096186,1.4576885066301486,2396,81,488,36,49,785,268,611,0.127,0.7759999999999999,0.097,-0.9592,5,0,0,0,1,1,76.0,1,1,3,13,25,26,10,3,30,0,58,9,2,12,3,72,98,36,1,11,8,16,3,0,1,4,2,2,1,0,22,25,2,3,12,0,5,9,12,15,2,1,17,7,72,11,87,69,9,78,0,0,2,3,73,38,3,8,30,324,94,10,0.1509045815150508,0.0,0.07363055165555213,0.0,0.0,0.07373110527625693,0.13376780645165948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832634790909957,0.0,0.12556470053450172,0.0,0.0,0.2565507254220758,0.07911830566568925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0620908063416221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058018154200578674,0.0,0.045995016122944266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07704522493527315,0.08629731990699928,0.15385727811774244,0.0,0.0798185190047389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048502912221334,0.0,0.0,0.19464194210531865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842952282848053,0.0,0.0,0.07720653012998617,0.0,0.0,0.0668283341847691,0.0,0.0,0.04983552643784351,0.0,0.06357180919383136,0.07209789725570034,0.0,0.0,0.07112970464428246,0.0,0.0763018905893557,0.0,0.0,0.0826542964460336,0.06896202681887789,0.0,0.0,0.0827295423235133,0.0,0.06975442698331683,0.11826212322705072,0.0,0.2572876538173472,0.0,0.06034608961672916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114816005748058,0.0,0.07568479963354956,0.0,0.0,0.1741236262314213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487475609738709,0.0,0.08347678053628148,0.0,0.041466605752462214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05329418435137481,0.0,0.0,0.066625755088943,0.0,0.06336092109130592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809863826277841,0.07139478187483843,0.10072997995457587,0.07649678012281272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534752440632498,0.06022529862581363,0.0,0.0,0.05594691754420037,0.0,0.07287229258660137,0.08024436720820402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15834897341712292,0.0,0.05112842493793218,0.057384867131536135,0.0,0.0,0.08378083970963172,0.0,0.0,0.05230911808186926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048336669525595656,0.07757752146001624,0.0,0.2430225691261021,0.0,0.06443584404261413,0.07177240691113321,0.0,0.07554090580682962,0.0,0.060125706892731924,0.1373778634315875,0.0,0.0,0.07745069218404667,0.0,0.08481153613851536,0.07550678149954472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06025629686465709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562236540154121,0.0,0.0,0.11346146499242925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04834678128745257,0.0,0.0,0.04399683751196218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13351114797069982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13568134169370955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10986033260784857,0.0,0.0,0.05359914252216607,0.0,0.0,0.34012161013124864
divorce,Isittimeto,2018/02/15,"Is it time to? I've been separated for 5 months, I was working for her company at the time and she felt ashamed socially I was working with her so decided to fire me, after 5 days of job searching she kicked me out. Fast forward 5 months I have a stable job, and I have improved myself in many ways and I feel a bit more emotionally stable, when we see each other I feel there is a bright spark between us and I still love her regardless, I've suggested many time couple therapy, not as a way to get back together but to help us figure out what's best for us, although she had agreed a couple times to it, she is unable to fulfill, doesn't want to fix a date or makes up excuses. Last time we met she asked me out to the movies, we had a great time, and we even cuddled during the movie, next morning she asks me in for breakfast, again we had a great time, and we made out, she asked me if i still have feelings for her and i said yes (it is not the first time something along the lines happens), after a few days its back no what's been happening these 5 months, she doesn't answer my texts and tries to completely ignore me. I think I had enough, I love her very much and would like to try to fix out marriage, but my lack of control over the situation and her lack of interest/resolve or what ever it is has led me to think is time for a divorce. (For reference Im 35 she's 33 we have no children or assets married for 3 years)",3.9709628586516463,4.20627239799331,5.030980461186413,87.0219714838937,70.83946488294315,8.301425805315965,27.776975884527374,8.20500826718156,1.565363879598662,1113,36,249,15,19,367,153,299,0.065,0.765,0.17,0.9879,2,0,1,0,1,0,29.0,10,0,0,5,10,9,0,1,16,1,22,4,0,4,1,54,42,20,0,6,8,0,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,10,25,1,2,10,0,0,2,6,2,0,1,12,8,47,7,39,29,9,43,0,0,2,3,39,11,0,4,31,174,57,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573727991816106,0.0,0.0,0.1411282511701679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630512470941444,0.0,0.10018716953904314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09621727213921327,0.0,0.10292590412218784,0.0,0.20307966316912635,0.0,0.11836586871896172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10322693814069872,0.0,0.09482114131196943,0.0,0.060612068663909426,0.0830096428395344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920236512469733,0.0,0.08811191848949357,0.0,0.0,0.07805803304265638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479451270057183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2023496559693812,0.0,0.0,0.1623007342692038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06151032868368157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.099125465730141,0.0,0.182131671205626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480337809778505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044833335274177946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16564887072880954,0.08683334421358625,0.06125602454642366,0.18607721923655648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21974564311055125,0.0,0.06746022833390591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759658305570196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08729262770600922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312742003826736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315136649215206,0.0,0.09354618198352113,0.0,0.07064768809908216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14657249813739692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10494500025921796,0.0,0.0,0.11760278807243968,0.0,0.0,0.4815972809349904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124609246180193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33115774432944073,0.0,0.0,0.07571842327710986,0.05412729597154966,0.1456827428589791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336167689885246,0.0,0.0,0.06518953724572672,0.0,0.0,0.05909574915989463
divorce,thainer21,2018/02/15,"Wife unhappy, ending it to preserve her future Hi folks. 

My wife and I have been at odds for 12 days now and it looks like it’s going to end up in divorce. I’ve eaten 4 apples, 14oz of carrots, a half a sandwich, and a slice of pizza in the last 11 days. I cant remember everything but I know I did not keep it all down. 

We’ve had arguments before, been to therapy although it seemed to hurt more than help. Good weeks together would get ruined by our session, and my wife occasionally felt ganged up on in there. 

We got married young, on the pressures of the immigration system, and never really got on the right track. No one has cheated as far as I know, but there has been trust issues from me because of some lying/deception on her part. 

Our sex life overall has been fantastic, up until the split, where it stopped completely. It teetered off during tense times, ultimately coming to a full and complete stop now. We are in the same house but different beds. We rent, but have 3 cats. She’s abandoned the typical wife communication, (be home around 6, etc). 

 I have learned a lot about myself through this. I have not felt a single lick of anger. Just sadness. I’m trying to show her that I love her and care. I don’t necessary believe that someone can “change” so quickly, but I just feel like I’ve learned enough about me through this that I can apply myself differently at times in this relationship. She says the hardest part through this is seeing me struggle. We have conversations discussing a potential split, but the convos always seems to steer the conversation into hearing more about my feelings. 

Overall I just don’t know what to do. I’m sad. I’m hurting. I left my home country for this woman, but also for me. I left my home country and family and friends so I could make her happy and for us to be together, which for the most part has made me happy. 

She just wants to move on, citing unhappiness. We didn’t do enough to make sure each of us were still smiling every day. We stopped having fun. We stopped being nice to each other. She feels it would hurt less now, than later because we have no kids, still in our 20s(27/28). I find myself begging at times for a second chance, because I feel like I have a different thought process now than I did before. She’s too conflicted. Just trying not to give up. 

What do I do?",3.515915006334218,5.374184286652081,4.334398825290799,85.40728290913279,73.7483588621444,7.1737648278244865,26.905965680064487,7.94452939551167,1.6186665207877464,1837,68,362,27,38,590,235,457,0.142,0.726,0.132,-0.2817,4,0,0,0,1,0,63.0,13,0,0,0,23,24,2,2,20,0,38,6,0,3,3,75,70,24,0,4,15,4,6,3,1,2,1,2,5,2,20,23,3,7,16,1,1,3,10,11,0,3,16,11,56,13,61,48,18,58,0,7,2,2,41,28,0,5,29,259,76,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06408889613525967,0.06668390612879056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07134266721370804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14656001206446687,0.0,0.1363885328967656,0.09029169926052462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08170930402860832,0.0,0.0847787731104983,0.06903455563753806,0.1680530664336501,0.0,0.0,0.0639862344887498,0.0,0.0,0.1550533502747074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511915196428829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196264856446975,0.16561458463672898,0.08937863275856488,0.0,0.0,0.06752242531019323,0.0,0.07202575139762421,0.0,0.07554999975752942,0.0,0.1620872136150007,0.114505791895706,0.1538962575252271,0.0,0.0732476134338027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061916899518170136,0.0,0.04187047416083423,0.07687875052139677,0.04554609610880378,0.06721864409978881,0.12819249225655852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17062361507183255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032496738407424,0.0,0.05371696329988531,0.0,0.2411645017742789,0.0,0.0,0.09247219558517772,0.2573784662759768,0.0,0.0,0.08364660118536905,0.0,0.07123318910561932,0.0,0.0,0.13213053829807694,0.06532578189672683,0.0,0.0,0.1741473168222714,0.0,0.05660610619655854,0.11745884034790002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729843174555884,0.0,0.0,0.06813319028314042,0.07233057032881332,0.07583154998755473,0.1069897590493632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08517742256327053,0.0,0.0,0.06180984117283313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05430575750287658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26035535995404663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513405108203563,0.0,0.0,0.0860416667943479,0.09078436755920202,0.06844015487117604,0.0,0.06373150628017213,0.0,0.0,0.0638621679069817,0.14591509413473466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06790338658483748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800174656370913,0.2680065578937421,0.0,0.08378099249845786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0755321413474579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091648457227744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362316833643494,0.14019295089093234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882124103595617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19280001455903625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047269361641325836,0.0,0.06428444406954317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138600314679904,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BilbosHandkerchief,2018/02/15,"Divorced/Separated parents of small children, How often do you communicate with Ex? Just curious... 

I tend to feel like my Ex and I still talk a good bit for a couple who are going through a divorce. While i'm glad we seem to co-parent well, I seem to hear from Ex at least once a day. Pictures of our child, or chats about our child, and rarely some random stuff that is not child related. I feel rude sometimes not answering so I answer even if I don't really want to. 

Barring illness or emergency-  how often do you chat with your Ex? ",1.8774681393373,4.182350102803738,3.422327952421412,87.85153780798643,80.6822429906542,6.507731520815634,23.74596431605777,7.686295010490155,1.2378485981308418,419,15,85,7,11,138,77,107,0.092,0.805,0.103,0.2781,2,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,3,3,0,0,10,5,1,0,4,0,5,2,0,2,0,24,14,9,0,2,6,5,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,4,3,5,1,0,6,3,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,3,13,4,13,14,3,6,0,0,0,0,21,2,0,9,4,57,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562027655180125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596618487366319,0.0,0.1513450427248672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1549996839606252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373160227714072,0.1676508498784169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13337040152938076,0.19683306188159774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644941761718553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11464965561447835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24991969996131666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26057723485965945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033790220960114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42727602048390056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23209816765884506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18741062126248925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686450998299909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18862173144252975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384165555502472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109997283575261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,somerandomtraveler,2018/02/15,"He wants me to sign Form 8332 Hi, everyone. I'm new here. I have been considering divorce after 13 years because of his controlling and abusive ways (verbal and emotional) but I am not quite ready to do so. We have three kids.

I have decided to file my taxes separately this year because I did some contract work last year and have to pay taxes. I don't want to saddle him with it. He's making a lot of noise about it and insists that I sign form 8332 because he can't file his taxes without it. A custodial parent can use this form to allow the non-custodial parent to claim the children in the current tax period. Signing this doesn't make sense to me since we are not divorced. I don't intend to claim the kids. It's got me wondering if there is an ulterior motive here. Can anyone help?",3.169912917271412,4.855751874213841,4.839119496855346,82.15284470246738,74.28301886792453,7.659603289791969,26.06724721819061,8.384062270229773,1.7736324141267543,624,22,123,11,13,211,99,159,0.057,0.904,0.039,-0.1589,3,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,2,0,0,4,5,0,0,0,7,0,16,0,0,7,0,28,24,7,0,3,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,8,7,0,1,3,0,5,0,7,0,0,1,3,0,16,0,16,21,5,10,0,0,0,0,17,1,0,4,8,81,24,7,0.0,0.21723796701964515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1282015200355687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33530259424620673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20564091036482005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2062423615752352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1751973295317785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14664052837824526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12289462108912212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14945348211011064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15587632079450545,0.0,0.0,0.24477306778091895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17707910416238348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4071735776426392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19501367691792548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166775703715102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835421817464104,0.0,0.0,0.21628736738540932,0.14553348897668952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17674139157656746,0.19883360505760406,0.13347987685484314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3542112287351398
divorce,DontBallGetTheShakes,2018/02/15,"Experience on dealing with immigration form I-864 with regards to alimony Me [32M] and spouse [33F] are currently going through a divorce. I sponsored her to come to the United States years ago and had to sign an affidavit or support which obligates me to support her financially and maintain her above the poverty line. (The federal govt doesnt want non US Citizens receiving economic aid if they are being sponsored by an individual to come live here) 

She is now using this document as an argument for alimony and apparently her and her attorney have several cases to argue a precedent for this in front of the judge. My argument to combat this is that she does not qualify for alimony based on the fact that she makes more than the threshold that this immigration document dictates (125% above poverty line)

Im hoping members from the group who have dealt with this specific issue can offer insight on their experience.",10.330914634146342,9.60962379878049,10.176951219512198,58.61164634146344,57.963414634146346,14.297560975609755,45.5,13.22790407523584,6.4717463414634135,749,41,114,25,8,247,107,164,0.1,0.8370000000000001,0.063,-0.6829999999999999,2,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,1,0,2,0,2,4,1,0,12,0,10,0,0,2,1,20,19,8,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,10,10,0,0,1,0,0,5,2,1,0,0,1,0,15,3,24,17,2,15,0,0,0,0,20,4,0,3,5,83,25,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253403457399509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547605428779692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122925928993999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020037946936246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4028549684995971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702804220518065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20452320685497527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2224269608712631,0.21492507174394532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818295179613118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13745197840491527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326289214295292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4673470013776479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476942061848089,0.17784718534760918,0.0,0.0,0.1214558726604838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13260455110324926
divorce,buenopeso,2018/02/15,"Divorced in September, Do I still claim my son? Really useless on my own about taxes. 

Do I claim my 4 year old even though she will be claiming him?

Officially divorced in September.

(Kansas)",2.255714285714287,5.171803142857144,3.9971428571428578,78.87285714285716,89.0,7.371428571428572,27.0,8.238735603445708,2.765114285714286,150,7,25,4,5,50,27,35,0.1,0.9,0.0,-0.5351,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,4,2,1,6,0,1,0,0,5,3,0,0,3,19,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3316787375334003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5269432405636085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217031437365208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40103383873016973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4933797559075449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3233811996028336
divorce,longrivers,2018/02/15,"The River I've been in hell for three months.  She moved out a month ago.  I was clueless when she told me it was over.  I foolishly thought she loved me like I did her.  She said she was tires of pretending.  I did not know she had been.  12 years of marriage down the drain.  Today, I wrote this about my current place in hell:



*I am riding a river to an ocean that will one day bring me home, to a safe shore.  I awoke in this boat, not knowing how I got here.  I suddenly found myself in a rapidly moving stream, rough but small, but moving too fast to get out safely.  I struggled to make the bank, only to find myself in horrible rapids and places that threatened to drag me under.  I finally found that the best course of action, indeed the best course, was to simply stop trying, let the ever-growing stream, now becoming a roaring river, pull me along as it wished, tossing me about at its will.  The rapids became horrendous, but anything was better than trying to steer my little vessel, or attempt yet again to escape to the bank.  I tell myself that all rivers end in large, calm bodies of water, slow-moving rivers that end in oceans.  I will one day be there, one day to find my safe shore, to be home.  Until then, I ride the emotions of this small part of my life, waiting for the white caps to get smaller, fewer, lower.  These rapids are my emotions.  This river is my current life.*",3.609131652661063,5.088414352941174,3.9511344537815134,89.80450980392159,72.75,6.210364145658264,22.143557422969188,6.42735559955562,0.3719248599439777,1072,25,217,7,21,334,153,272,0.114,0.765,0.12,0.4019,3,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,0,0,0,4,10,12,2,1,16,0,19,6,1,2,1,27,35,10,0,1,6,0,1,1,0,3,3,1,2,0,13,4,1,5,7,1,2,8,2,3,0,4,17,3,36,9,40,12,4,48,2,0,1,1,13,18,2,1,23,148,49,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10069708459336513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348083585286313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12545920850615933,0.0,0.0,0.23842655540190386,0.10046751283011657,0.0,0.1261809066787739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21978243453531265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25556317340157314,0.2012268452071604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275519224491347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12444020578657056,0.20765160863484614,0.0,0.0,0.2491069844890277,0.0,0.0,0.11869972148182804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09085407695925006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2278945547002167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1248601264539494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616085750480742,0.16047415689377054,0.05549786539841298,0.1138542610365262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025259293657932,0.0,0.07582702880187707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18134444007873604,0.3622076130292889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23092925574559744,0.08639580738002937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230147231122682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373698413005448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10805697307762266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949723654164154,0.0,0.11875648263305852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09928898036382944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901835065482791,0.0,0.1305632976188521,0.10767688532989236,0.10854701518312798,0.0,0.15425011611592307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13063120086333807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07315288752079899
divorce,Jagrmeister27,2018/02/15,"Question regarding Child Support payments Okay, I am only asking to cover all my bases as I feel I am right, as does my lawyer.

So I have been paying child support in the amount of $700 every two weeks since December 7th, totalling $1400 per month. This isn't where I have the problem though. My issue is this upcoming month I get paid three times based on how the calendar is laid out, therefore my child support should realistically be $466.67 if I continue to pay on the schedule, then return to $700 each cheque for the month of April, May would be $466.67 then the remainder of the year is $700 again.

My ex wife, as per usual, takes issue with anything I suggest (because if I could scam $700, I would too lol) and is ready to call her lawyer. I just want to make sure there is no wording or any precedent set because of the structure 

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divorce,P5ycho5i5,2018/02/15,"I have to see my ex tomorrow For the first time since july last year i am going to see my ex wife tomorrow. I dont know how i am going to survive this. Our marriage was killed by long distance and financial strain. I still love her and i miss her dearly. And i am miserable without her. But that doesn’t change our situation or make anything fixable, i just think having to see her tomorrow, is going ro rip my heart to shreads shortly after i see her i am probably going to be driving back to my new house where nothing but loneliness is waiting for me. 
I am  hating my life",4.078397435897436,4.891455931623933,5.544519230769232,81.35985576923079,70.88034188034189,8.585042735042737,30.86431623931624,8.841846274778883,2.484231623931624,452,19,90,8,8,153,74,117,0.102,0.833,0.065,-0.4943,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,2,0,0,2,5,7,2,2,1,0,13,3,1,2,0,13,28,7,1,0,5,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,0,5,3,5,0,1,1,4,24,2,12,26,0,19,0,2,4,1,12,2,0,1,12,64,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724483456968348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12824268912673273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17642997541584735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19546364344016012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14186205784217404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3791371977648493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646596478286116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763381441739333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19244047295279895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451615641898625,0.0,0.0916573287090329,0.1359470734382839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1178008781942252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14759408940768787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15052448008765182,0.0,0.11132621920715853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16107611303571287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16002886467341548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17981587580945987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5316048015531499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13796123993255888,0.187466485503322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1331898550241239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10686519294443664,0.0,0.0,0.09725012512634644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607689202085084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740015164059127
divorce,ExpensiveOpportunity,2018/02/15,"Financial Destruction, Credit Rating, Retirement - Thoughts and Share Please Hello,

I'll try to be quick.  I'm worried that even though there is some light at the end of the tunnel (meaning finally getting divorced) I will never, ever recover.  I'm 49 years old.  I'm starting a better job in a few weeks which will help but interested to know if anyone else finds/found themselves here and did they make it out or what your plan is to get out?  Or did you never get out ?

My numbers:

* Cost of divorce easily 100k by the time it's done. (HC&C)  I still have no idea how this spun so far out of control aside from the X being nuts.
* Credit was Excellent; now it's borderline Good and fighting to at least keep it there.
* Rackin up the CC debt to pay lawyers and associated bills - this will most likely be like 25k by the time it's over.
* Down 100k in retirement funds (30% of which was just tax alone) from disbursements to pay all this stuff.  I'll be lucky to have 140k left when this is over.  And I still have a hefty tax bill.
* Savings is ZERO
* Pay CS - 800$ a month
* Minimalist living.  I have a low rent (well, just about as low as I can), own car.  Utilities.  Food.  That's about it.  I've gone to cash only in the pocket type spending when possible.  A budget makes no sense right now as I easily exceed what I make.
* Several 100 dollars a week for Supervised visits (no other option)

Did you or anyone you know find yourself in this financial drain?  Will this level out?  I keep thinking at least when it's done, I can recover in 2-3 years ... but by then I'm over 50 and staring down the barrel of end career instead of mid.  My salary isn't going to get much better.

Ideas? Ideas ? 

I haven't worried about money since I was in my 20's.  No idea what hand to mouth was like.  Now my hand can't reach my mouth !

Thoughts are appreciated !  Thank you for reading !
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divorce,ricky14230,2018/02/15,"[Divorce] Parents to a 1 year old Hi,

I'm late 20s male and wife is 2 years younger. We have a 1 year old baby. 

The relationship has been very rough since the baby was born. It's been such a joy but our affection for each other is gone. Finally we had a huge fight 6 months ago and I convinced her we need help from a marriage therapist. 

It hasn't worked. We're on our 3rd one now and she's said in the meeting she's given up. The only reason she attends is because she doesn't one to be the one to call off the marriage. Even though she's state she doesn't think it'll work and won't change or try anything to make it work.

Tonight, we came up and was putting our baby to bed. My wife was verbally combative with me over anything. (Example: milk wasn't warm enough, tells me in a angry tone and rough language. Baby was fuzzy because we're trimming nails, yells at me while I'm trying to calm baby down). 

So afterwards I told her: I'm willing to work for us because happy parents together is the best outcome for our baby. But if she can't control herself and provide a safe loving home for the baby then I agree we should end it. 

With that she said: I told you this isn't good for the baby. We should have just ended it. It's your fault our baby had to go through that and then went out. It's Valentine's day. I know our marriage is done but thought we should at least stay at home tonight. Bought her a gift and she barely gave it a glance. 

Sorry this is so long. I just needed to type it out somewhere. Need to start planning for custody and what the separation process will be like. She's stated she wants sole physical custody before and didn't understand why I was hurt by that. I don't want to fight in court but I might have to. ",1.6145791355216126,3.5428135193370203,2.8071043223919396,93.9006109847254,79.5524861878453,5.584790380240494,23.077998050048752,6.522977012572876,0.4399396165095868,1362,45,301,12,34,437,188,362,0.073,0.792,0.135,0.9801,2,0,0,0,3,0,37.0,14,2,0,7,8,14,2,0,19,0,38,2,0,4,0,50,64,23,0,9,8,4,3,1,0,8,0,3,3,1,17,24,1,2,5,0,1,6,9,4,0,3,23,7,44,10,37,31,4,46,0,1,1,1,54,15,0,3,23,189,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261499636294816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195586759000814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19106966155476102,0.0,0.08890457381059914,0.0,0.10964505402787278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668550851570496,0.11949700277408952,0.0,0.0,0.11052572428914333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718292616718586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06738079676396466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691906107864624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507609840192585,0.10795551320353676,0.0,0.06900789094503725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11445246158682862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593782509025847,0.08763265912305722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11122063899218557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07003057554978878,0.0,0.2096034203962143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184773561382018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05741933941835151,0.0,0.11785771128040712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051043529440613744,0.0,0.0,0.09246129289612773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429705550727004,0.0,0.06974104588090263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1108365062681178,0.0,0.0,0.08339474139770496,0.0,0.0,0.2324112371572793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2192678490605761,0.0,0.21239455210986366,0.07946155957332066,0.0,0.0,0.2320248009089193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503100844537193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742258632255243,0.0,0.11217215338909893,0.0,0.0,0.1987683398975905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08642673066996708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695652868586927,0.07395130634964986,0.11136151435399294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131990853966383,0.0,0.0,0.1213090450609693,0.0,0.0669464064915467,0.10265082604738382,0.08294525273194568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1996697611850556,0.0,0.14186978700276925,0.0,0.0,0.10876710669914287,0.125676277623886,0.0,0.0,0.08620673755601772,0.12324972962945675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0968537770117342,0.0942767255595111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042500157490456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018446047083778
divorce,mthomashp23,2018/02/15,Affect of parents divorce (M 19) ive had some personal issues arise due to my parents divorce and how I handled it. I’m curious how other children of divorce have been affected by their parents divorce.,5.106754385964912,7.0848242368421115,6.73947368421053,69.30464912280705,69.78947368421053,8.224561403508767,44.24561403508772,8.841846274778883,4.887077192982456,163,12,23,3,3,56,29,38,0.043,0.894,0.062,0.1779,3,0,0,0,4,0,4.0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,4,0,6,5,3,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,4,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,1,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900584393084902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.9257348905416949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426541040651877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,likebeautifulthings,2018/02/16,"How to divorce when you can't afford to live apart? Long story short, I want a divorce. There are so many issues in my marriage and I've realized that I'll never be happy married to my husband. We've been together 15 years, married 10 with two kids. The last three or so years have been pretty miserable for me. He knows I'm unhappy, but just keeps going on like normal. I've tried communicating and working on our issues, but he refuses. He doesn't want to address any issues at all. And if he did now, it still might be too little too late. I really can't go on like this. 

However, I was a stay at home mom for many years and now I work part time. Even if I worked full time, my earning potential is not enough to support a household on my own (even with the most basic apartment, and we don't live an extravagant lifestyle at all). He doesn't earn enough to have his own place and give me child support. What do people do in these situations? Do they just become impoverished in order to fill their own emotional needs? It feels hopeless.",2.8707585470085446,4.762403105769239,4.17724358974359,85.6955341880342,75.63461538461539,7.122222222222224,24.536324786324787,7.984000788550335,1.3560792735042728,818,27,165,13,18,269,130,208,0.079,0.858,0.063,-0.6385,2,0,0,0,2,1,26.0,2,1,2,5,14,7,0,1,6,0,19,0,0,1,3,32,31,15,0,6,8,2,1,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,6,9,0,2,3,0,0,3,7,2,0,2,4,1,17,5,21,24,10,34,0,2,0,0,20,16,0,5,15,108,23,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368991657681375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13591805418765354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13843403630694193,0.0,0.2543226323569805,0.0,0.16256945067230102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062226474389914826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180572728410605,0.13988385239600584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13100732348698324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234464365096586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3853505507592791,0.0,0.10938778250877544,0.0,0.0,0.06763451497628413,0.10031619406705952,0.13882516273110615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024883571858773,0.12334566593649515,0.2173411856890063,0.1089105998511552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24954165053871946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13055485171106207,0.0,0.14413481797290575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0912527698820748,0.09491701197163524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205797269683516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1332697854620342,0.0,0.08531930130534802,0.0,0.12857903113113556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520358648942365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884000003396649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833268981224667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117326125053935,0.09828162538878846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793104017061512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14352294872532473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355455087884843,0.0,0.12021877264364525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451764469756727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2687831633274163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23775372685091856
divorce,hmspain,2018/02/16,"Alimony & Retirement in California I assumed that when I retired, my alimony would automatically stop.  Retain a lawyer, write a letter, petition the court, done deal, right?

Not so!  It appears the only one that can terminate the alimony judgement is my ex.  Not the judge, not the state, no-one.

You *can* (of course) petition the court for an alimony adjustment after retirement.  Termination is a whole ‘nother topic.

Even if the court grants an adjustment, even to $0, the *judgement stands forever* (this was a “long term marriage”).

If my ex were to declare bankruptcy, or lose her job, or become disabled, she could claim my “income” exceeds her “income”, and petition the court to have alimony adjusted yet again.

The only way to be out from under your alimony judgement is to “buy out the contract” (so to speak).  She must agree to the termination, and that usually means a cash buyout.

",4.326249999999998,7.212571573248411,5.448339968152869,73.47786027070066,75.30573248407643,9.530095541401275,30.83160828025477,9.827888789773867,3.8497264331210204,695,33,113,22,16,229,97,157,0.034,0.938,0.029,-0.2003,3,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,0,2,0,1,7,1,0,0,19,0,13,0,0,0,1,23,15,9,0,5,7,2,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,5,4,0,2,5,0,2,1,3,1,0,1,3,1,12,0,15,8,2,17,0,1,0,0,13,5,0,6,8,82,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493098254426541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25412387733737324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18371360022663666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23721973417908196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23546895092598225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30395357988581856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22833560499519764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036284589470586,0.0,0.2574195027553919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25064290937178185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559195708827384,0.3499980243543149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965014405350422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923712577728916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2534191567841746,0.0,0.0,0.1826401581222479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256894899925362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345419034292796,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway649557,2018/02/16,"23 y/o female no kids and crippling guilt My husband (24) and I are presently separated. This is our second separation and I ended the first one after two days because I felt so guilty. I asked for the separation of a year and a half of him being very mean to me and constantly ignoring me while I begged to go to counseling and he refused.  He has never but has very intense anger issues I am no longer willing to be on the receiving end of. Now that I'm living with my parents he wants to go to counseling but I do not desire to continue this relationship. I told him I would go because I owe it too him but now I feel like it would be kinder not to lead him on anymore. He is very sad and constantly texts me that he misses me. I really can't move on from the past and I see him now as someone who belittles, ignores, and rejects me. Honestly I don't feel that I should have to ask for the things I have begged him to change So it seems a little too late. Is marriage counseling worth it now? What would be the kindest thing doe me to do? Even now I hate seeing him so sad. 

We have two dogs, no kids,  and about 1200 dollars of shared debt not including rent. We have been together four years, and did long distance for the majority of our engagement/dating period. I met him when I was 18.

Thanks so much for reading. Any thoughts are greatly appreciated.",2.2591636363636347,4.216358770909093,3.9756363636363647,86.15145454545456,77.65454545454546,7.454545454545455,25.18181818181818,8.364918446050245,1.6414363636363634,1062,39,222,21,25,356,152,275,0.166,0.743,0.092,-0.9656,4,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,4,0,0,2,14,14,2,1,10,0,28,0,0,1,1,37,49,21,0,6,6,2,3,1,0,5,0,0,1,2,13,14,0,3,6,1,5,6,9,9,0,7,7,5,39,5,28,33,2,33,0,4,2,0,31,4,0,1,24,161,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08515609675650114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12418780481672773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23413364954933905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526698486951634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324695830843146,0.0,0.0,0.2706436704491629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075862983589698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10958370050472643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22182124344226484,0.0,0.0,0.08270876849539792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1266332645725591,0.08945950711856382,0.1202339472761174,0.0,0.0,0.10651482330903132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213501757855855,0.0,0.0,0.13805906331539072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12363202368109046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13070052772530202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412572681789758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611777494120817,0.12550658302237186,0.11057441442613,0.11081862616293993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13640481795957893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13309248578587524,0.0920534891962526,0.0,0.09657988185322043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848545076974359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390455879810271,0.0,0.11953975113902955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12525712640555695,0.0,0.08022121356774099,0.0,0.0,0.13444289543174998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19957341789959848,0.11399853392867294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610124422516064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1152887343997197,0.0,0.0,0.16638551180378766,0.0,0.0,0.09941326436802413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965617139740888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2446498181365453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3099668603816514,0.07385991091339257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2668649889319501,0.0,0.0,0.1612793209032366
divorce,marehe,2018/02/16,"Is it time? Long time lurker, first time poster.  

We have been married 12 years, together for 15, three kids.  I have been a SAHM for most of that time but I am employable outside the home.  I would have some scrambling to do financially in the short term but suspect I would walk away with some resources and I can get a good job and have a supportive family.  

When I look at the past, the times we were happy were the times I was giving him what he wanted and shunting my needs off to the side.  The times we were going through a rough patch were when I was asserting myself.  I look forward and think... is that what I want my life to look like?  Does it have to be that way?  How do you know when to give up?  How do you know the difference between being so tired at this moment and when it is really time to throw in the towel?  I never want to look back and wish I'd tried harder but I feel like every interaction is like walking on eggshells and my life is going by and I don't want to live like this.  

So can you share your line in the sand moment?  When did you know it was not save-able?",1.8208666666666675,3.572924631111114,2.8526111111111128,94.64825000000002,78.24444444444444,6.1000000000000005,19.25,6.961326702584282,0.012666666666666604,842,18,193,9,20,268,121,225,0.033,0.799,0.168,0.9833,3,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,3,5,0,1,10,8,0,0,14,0,31,3,0,2,1,36,52,20,0,8,4,0,3,4,0,2,3,0,1,1,11,12,0,0,6,0,0,6,3,0,0,2,10,7,26,8,24,38,4,40,0,0,4,0,15,12,0,3,27,134,37,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882868543216903,0.08906823795251219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12102057426074335,0.0,0.0,0.10136602367196043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975940911317616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10919681168839514,0.0,0.058568520843873186,0.08275094265384055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852728144084046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060517833182239876,0.22223466500242905,0.13166084701248268,0.09715501846818166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330612061143832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618969676015585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494613512974995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909759570499992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363219956576824,0.2263601308055797,0.0,0.10228244400040884,0.1025083423099241,0.38908136078513816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588851943322794,0.08933736080345668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057547051147902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420542832599726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144563664118347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07422095168801386,0.0,0.0,0.5403440832158531,0.13313271111980612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07864283655352686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2732846379004303,0.09194264861181133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320195066259585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456853017800022,0.0,0.0,0.07459249589664145
divorce,iwanttobelefthanded,2018/02/16,"Ending homeschooling after divorce, how did kids do? Separated Fall 2017, decided on divorce Summer 2017. Finalizing here soon. My daughter, 8, is in second grade and has been homeschooled for K-2, she had been going to Waldorf preschool for 2.5 years beforehand. My son, 4, has gone to the same preschool and got into a local Waldorf charter school for K next year so he should have an easier transition. 

We homeschooled for educational philosophy, not religious. We have continued homeschool through the end of this school year to give her time and ample prep before the transition. But my STBX is going to have to get a job starting this summer because we have burned through all our savings already, in the process of selling our shared house for the equity to continue paying for 2 households until we can finish the school year. 

Our entire school system has school of choice lottery system so you can try to get into any school in the district that has space after neighborhood kids that get priority. We toured the Project Based Learning school my daughter is accepted to, still hoping a space opens up in the same Waldorf charter school my son got into (she is first on waitlist). Daughter had mixed feelings, didn’t really like it or hate it. I thought it was fine, 3rd grade teachers we met seemed like genuinely caring people and the way they ran their classrooms was better than most other schools we had toured IMO. The school has some of the highest ratings in the district. 

My STBX is basically losing her mind saying the last 8 years of raising our kids a certain non-mainstream way is now going to be a complete waste and it doesn’t matter where they go to school they are just going to be fucked. At least give our kids a little credit for being the amazing kids they have become already and trust that what has been established in them won’t be ripped out because they are going to a public school! Basically my STBX and I do very much believe that schools force kids to memorize things and don’t do anything to work with a child’s actual interests so they learn to love learning. By being forced to memorize predetermined topics kids lose all motivation, put in minimal effort and never develop that innate desire to learn for the rest of their lives. Also believe that most mainstream ways of talking/treating/punishing kids are just horrendous and those are usually followed in a public school setting. A little arrogant point of view I know but I imagine anyone reading this who did/does homeschooling likely has similar views. 

Anyway, I’m just really nervous for my daughter as she is already showing signs of stress in regards to the divorce and then having her entire daily life upended and not being around her mom most days for security might be quite jarring for her. She really wants to continue homeschooling. We had planned to do so through 5th grade. 

Anyone else have young kids that were homeschooled and then had to do public school after divorce?",9.29335103558152,9.02030524163569,8.221787041954329,70.33919144981415,59.780669144981424,10.808390865639934,38.35926712692512,10.125756701596842,3.991271694105152,2412,103,385,42,28,744,268,538,0.044,0.888,0.068,0.7312,2,0,0,0,4,0,45.0,13,1,9,9,16,23,2,2,28,0,57,3,0,2,4,70,86,26,0,4,8,7,1,3,0,3,1,1,0,10,19,28,0,1,14,2,3,11,7,6,0,2,19,4,44,17,70,57,11,75,0,2,2,2,64,26,1,8,35,267,63,30,0.0,0.0,0.052608410441581765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17847316844662792,0.043111829692045335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03666066750451241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07539028970745945,0.055237194193416425,0.044363359383068166,0.0479913542620917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06572610504896477,0.05953939012306726,0.04587346293017453,0.1214762804748483,0.0,0.047679038568084885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054964866177479255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05652363838521079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034767508015305856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045034910577980064,0.0,0.09549656643525688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027258529831283733,0.0,0.0,0.059055800268002265,0.0,0.045855842040296066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0498389519342813,0.08449729329105829,0.10343082185159468,0.18382986666858636,0.0,0.08623354788791601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05322499134786186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05354482159193896,0.0,0.06220493389219669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05349738406024347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029627541366930563,0.04394386786889811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03807824688890588,0.07901314933270992,0.10806402089958136,0.04760354215592948,0.0,0.0,0.12062306273952972,0.0,0.0,0.04865590480702189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05719002008189589,0.054433759977721034,0.06313877290913765,0.0,0.0,0.03963007334288605,0.0,0.04157873682691658,0.0,0.057333926078168625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037374425316839766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05096240145808277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05419446791007733,0.0,0.057339950398717136,0.053924616541025684,0.0,0.10360843261140576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042871417834526665,0.0,0.8183973926036888,0.0,0.0490776645189752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03815779509494936,0.0,0.04305261777712953,0.0,0.06175375461246351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03581542695204088,0.0,0.0,0.04279854020265536,0.031435370697597574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03660137007600956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059374279184322476,0.04448141878540561,0.03179753111103078,0.12837381210120505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03924714224687312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17358145171607234
divorce,_lion_s,2018/02/16,I think the only reason my husband is back with me is because his girlfriend (of about a year and a half) said she is not going to break up a marriage of 30 years and that he should try and save it. But we have reconciled and he seems very happy. Advice please Reddit. ,5.634666666666668,4.928778163636366,5.934545454545454,85.16848484848488,67.36363636363636,8.06060606060606,27.424242424242426,6.42735559955562,1.1052424242424244,209,5,44,1,3,67,46,55,0.0,0.831,0.16899999999999998,0.8676,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,5,0,0,1,0,14,9,5,0,1,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,6,2,6,7,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,1,3,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2925248576789069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301844280880791,0.0,0.18248316629584024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701295403829509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31866745660598395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22767189000734026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32860034101797997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077853416023775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847538096477277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27252025992277085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918136892476444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20324143343836387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2469980576285475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38554778678310014
divorce,InWickedWinds,2018/02/16,"No kids, wanted to move before divorce, is now the best time? Before divorce started, I [30M] was seriously considering moving to the UK with my STBXW. After divorce, I am still thinking about moving (alone). I have lived in the same metro my whole life.  I have several friends and work colleagues in London - I wouldn't be 100% alone. 

My question is: Does anyone have experience they could share about moving to a new city after a divorce? Was all the change too much, too fast? Did you regret not having your family and friends around? Was it great because you could totally leave the past behind? 

Edit: clarity. ",3.8886769480519447,6.545162526785719,4.395194805194809,81.68616883116884,75.51785714285714,6.572727272727272,25.36038961038961,7.686295010490155,1.6113285714285717,481,17,82,7,11,152,79,112,0.067,0.752,0.181,0.9424,0,2,0,0,4,0,23.0,0,3,1,2,7,7,0,0,7,0,15,1,0,0,2,15,18,2,0,5,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,0,4,3,2,0,0,4,0,12,5,12,10,6,16,0,1,0,0,13,3,0,1,9,61,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2952275685208613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09965737957477658,0.0,0.0,0.12687821273968716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688242775366635,0.0,0.2425579806302036,0.0,0.14957207346693174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15077343798069648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22759056785909446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12472532099107175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13941761778449302,0.13436067526050266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22023021723355926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.157135239168129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509142829636375,0.0,0.0,0.1006702141210707,0.0,0.0,0.12585292583821828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6059296386117924,0.1047728899048774,0.0,0.0,0.13765234213584934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13605703917039405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1596615567368518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16101362817628195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088052146422936,0.0,0.1138213180544032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132480182421386,0.0,0.0,0.08310796209539756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08406543176234063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15912500784370687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037605072828069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Cerealbawxformahdaid,2018/02/16,"How to deal with thoughts that the new step father will be liked more by my kids than me Separated right now from my wife of 13 years. It's been a rough few months. I basically lay awake at night with hundreds of thoughts on loop in my head. My wife had an emotional affair on me and in our discussions with each other, I inquired about this other guy. I told her that I don't blame him 100% for our failing marriage, but he is at least partly to blame (long story). After that talk last night, a new thought was added to the hundreds that keep me awake at night because she said she would pursue a relationship with this guy if we divorce. What do I do when my STBX makes it far enough in a relationship with someone to introduce my kids and he ends up being more fun, or does cooler stuff with them? I am already losing my wife and don't want to lose my kids too.",7.714204545454546,5.50510928409091,7.337727272727275,81.63909090909091,64.11363636363636,10.39090909090909,32.79545454545455,8.472884824447931,2.204820454545455,678,19,149,7,8,214,114,176,0.039,0.875,0.086,0.8001,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,3,0,1,3,5,5,0,0,7,0,13,1,1,2,0,23,21,8,0,3,3,4,1,1,0,2,0,1,0,5,12,11,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,8,2,25,2,28,9,7,25,0,3,0,0,29,11,0,2,14,102,37,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656800372896798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08648867347929315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14627195259091574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416006136916012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595957971155539,0.12566348403970498,0.14659986921692789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809668254405152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456097153431317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610937894986032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565105939866407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0693153551709412,0.0,0.0,0.12555925162103085,0.0,0.3174546454435245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09470593860191236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1132471869151611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274056993582227,0.0,0.3994340401630765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1536421115040885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3046518427571022,0.0,0.12116466403376855,0.1349602802522641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021438346820568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16241854726772706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140376936836238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3379103903589213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13557232978512396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08368444421469406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10078741409674656,0.0,0.0,0.0913660073929455
divorce,Dr_Juiceman,2018/02/16,"Measuring worth against XW new boo I never wanted this divorce. I went through some challenging personal issues which led me to be an asshole for far too long. I never sought the right kind of help. I had to quit my job before they fired me bc a lack of performance. I turn 30 this year. I have nothing to show for myself besides a fuck ton of debt. I’ve gotten my depression under control, kind of. The paperwork’s written up and submitted. 

My ex, who’s 26 has a 41 year old boyfriend who’s filthy rich. Dude owns a fucking Mcclaren, has a farm and vineyard IN Buckhead, Atlanta. He’s literally a built like a Greek god. ( he is Greek)

I struggle to make my CS payments while she’s pampered. 

I don’t get why, when she’s already moved on, she continues to make my life as difficult as possible. I got out of my way to be cordial and get nothing but anger and degradation in return. 

I love her so much. I’m past the point of acting of desperation to try and save the marriage. I wish there was something I could do. My family and friends all think I’m crazy for not moving on. I was raised with an unwavering loyalty to my loved ones.  I can’t find it in my head to let her go even though I know she’s fucking another man. 

I’m ready for these feelings to pass. I’m not looking for a pity party. I just needed to vent somewhere to strangers. My friends and fam are over listening to me. ",1.880626477541373,3.947501223404256,3.4216312056737586,89.13388888888889,79.31914893617021,6.73096926713948,26.75650118203309,7.793537801064563,1.57826146572104,1083,46,228,18,27,357,177,282,0.085,0.7290000000000001,0.18600000000000005,0.9859,2,0,1,0,1,0,32.0,0,0,1,4,7,19,4,1,14,0,15,7,1,4,3,31,42,14,0,5,4,1,2,1,2,0,1,1,0,2,7,9,0,1,4,1,3,7,6,9,0,1,7,4,37,10,39,31,6,32,0,2,1,5,22,12,3,1,13,139,44,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13485907812585635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12814527907600284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10398963006678562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13706616678945627,0.09757279021232852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10525718984415457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08071693888720917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520640862495178,0.0,0.06179181278802251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11169549319841232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883451090863784,0.3389367518940762,0.12769680929119553,0.0,0.06945337096522268,0.0,0.097740547273054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254202104494862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191314948881076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12755293907581516,0.12127214347068928,0.0,0.0,0.2545207297953292,0.06716207736976648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496550693393163,0.08631881167541904,0.05970443944920738,0.0,0.0,0.10814984237198763,0.10262356919100564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22059418314019533,0.0,0.16314898662190466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597745858620299,0.08983661583864262,0.09061535509161893,0.18850800376054544,0.11802882015543245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2345228939567079,0.0,0.1282362736360742,0.0,0.08281100343670644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666094131020853,0.0,0.1067069250807261,0.0,0.0,0.1155256424178762,0.13777065858959728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998277978461184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436458601917976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940813479644802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12775787276980646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830566805469152,0.12006830435359205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08297090934545825,0.13292672932421348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07208118345689969,0.09700267051989753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11328762976219828,0.11027331209896232,0.0,0.14053265952000818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15739532006018794
divorce,wspdisco,2018/02/16,"Divorcing because of Bipolar Disorder We had a great marriage with lots of love and support but it wasn’t enough. I caught him stealing my Rx medication, Xanax, after he had already taken over 200 of them over the course of who knows how long. I confronted him about it over the phone and he admitted to it.

For two days I tried to get over it but later realized I could probably never trust him again. He just didn’t seem apologetic enough. I sent him a text after the two days telling him he should go live with his mother out of state. Rather than have a discussion about divorce or counseling, he quit answering my messages and ignored all of his family too. He had a severe manic episode and quit working in the middle of the day. I own a dog walking business and let him in the business too so he really put my work on the line when he didn’t show up for visits. He left work, threw away all clients’ house keys, went home and packed a suitcase and bought a flight to Costa Rica with his last bit of money. He was gone by the next day and as soon as he got to CR, he checked himself in the local hospital.

He was in Costa Rica for two days before his mother flew him back to her home. For weeks he refused to talk to me and just now as of three days ago, he has finally been in contact to discuss a divorce agreement. 

I can’t believe it’s all over like that. He’s done many crazy things like this since we got married but not this bad. And he didn’t ever go into full blown mania or even have a diagnosis until after we were married, so I really had no warning for what I was getting into.

In a matter of hours he threw away his wife, job, his house, a newly financed car, and an animal family of four cats and a dog. Almost on a daily basis he would thank me for everything I had given him (the house, the car, the animals, the business, and most of all he would thank me for being with him.) We were happy but he really screwed me over this time and Bipolar isn’t something that’ll ever go away.

Anyways, just wanted to vent my story. ",5.375144927536233,5.1796481207729475,6.10126811594203,82.04364130434784,67.79227053140096,9.0256038647343,29.568840579710145,8.59863814320734,2.0523884057971014,1598,51,327,22,24,525,211,414,0.085,0.83,0.085,-0.292,1,0,1,0,2,0,39.0,4,0,1,5,20,15,2,0,27,0,28,7,0,1,7,60,53,28,0,6,11,3,0,2,0,4,5,0,2,0,13,25,0,2,5,1,4,15,9,5,0,5,28,0,40,10,64,18,11,68,0,0,0,2,63,25,1,6,29,227,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07975732315204467,0.0,0.0900968689783614,0.0,0.09928954334799403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536031508112277,0.06918514694988193,0.07512528614408437,0.05484786603908105,0.0,0.07656201588907613,0.10137090511367916,0.0,0.0,0.09822929129467774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183763909709137,0.0,0.0,0.3481582158046119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311903443787608,0.0,0.0,0.09207556487012247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18593625418666965,0.0,0.05942757516909317,0.16277490269997422,0.0,0.0,0.08086364162449794,0.0,0.16964066286229068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856310881398052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09401634697284618,0.0,0.15340443334515774,0.0,0.1439222993392819,0.09919764871612724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09577995782144702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805043285733233,0.0,0.0886071558548496,0.311456875031377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928620833964113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04944785390067274,0.07334155511928861,0.0,0.0,0.09775799588429256,0.09200543478534813,0.0,0.0879143860560498,0.0,0.0794494881815697,0.07962495822677118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649344539807637,0.08120586323737586,0.0,0.0,0.09122043000011222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09064024940713578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06939419233371552,0.0,0.09568933058446916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700816379095957,0.0,0.0,0.09044962922348054,0.0,0.19139877014245346,0.0,0.0,0.1729206813078617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190977289898334,0.0,0.10164603058420464,0.0,0.07442816992623665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06926707646806883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10210245420808353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231841922124801,0.07864203143808539,0.1656736052132171,0.0,0.0,0.05977532787420123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05246508977296661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061087053349053476,0.0,0.2636772204791714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053069529236581404,0.0,0.07217244036194931,0.0,0.0,0.08340763693763277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965084039685228,0.0,0.0,0.12783117983945574,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,humananimal76,2018/02/17,"When do you know it's time to stop trying? It's been almost a year since an unpleasant incident gave me that ""I should not be with this person"" feeling. We've gone to counseling and I've seen a change in my s.o.'s behavior. (At least to my face- I still catch the occasional eye roll behind my back). Even though he is far less controlling, my feelings for him haven't really returned. Life is tolerable, though...so I'm struggling with what I should do, or what the ""right"" thing to do is...he has made it clear that he would be devastated if we were to split, but I also think it's not fair to stay when I'm not in love.",2.618604651162787,3.8752842325581414,3.985186046511629,89.46708139534884,74.89147286821705,7.950697674418605,22.20232558139535,8.548686976883017,1.0246706976744189,482,12,111,9,10,159,88,129,0.122,0.853,0.025,-0.9,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,1,0,1,7,2,0,1,5,0,14,4,2,2,1,22,25,8,0,4,6,0,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,10,4,0,2,4,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,6,4,12,1,13,14,2,16,0,0,2,1,8,5,0,3,8,70,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21765619367538175,0.0,0.0,0.17382395233457698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16713761437814087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2299396979008907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2437894600132635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1435652532361475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21980906048058368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11945622292403607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153528890318072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19617728448050564,0.20567275339981786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18979172070278613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13924737425397204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1856255753413308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798037196193787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23167849053270675,0.1735852139384225,0.18172398790562785,0.0,0.2272334854365405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444053549066319,0.1392765040285609,0.4271132368943153,0.0,0.12674526729184898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14757422389443148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15440740811743114,0.0,0.0,0.1399737111822394
divorce,CuteBar,2018/02/17,"Found out he is cheating Breathe breathe breathe....

My husband and I have been struggling for about two months.. Found out today he's been cheating on me. I've had my suspicions but damn. I guess this is really happening to me. I'll file for divorce Monday.  ",2.1661904761904758,4.935646469387759,2.5256122448979603,91.50093537414969,84.3061224489796,5.715646258503401,28.574829931972786,7.1686216300943375,1.7194462585034014,203,10,39,3,6,62,35,49,0.232,0.768,0.0,-0.8689,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,1,0,0,6,3,3,0,0,7,10,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,1,5,0,6,0,7,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,4,3,1,1,3,23,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6673556846606055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3352494906522357,0.0,0.2691145503065385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429101761566015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19495908160185146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31814769841975626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2884655429427229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2972823629605432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Yellow1188,2018/02/17,"Heartbroken and Confused My husband (29) and I (27) have been together five years and married for a year and half. We met in another part of the country and broke up about 2 years into dating when I chose to relocate to pursue graduate school in the medical field. He initiated the break up at that time noting he ""didn't love me anymore"" a week before we were to move together. I was devastated at the time, but felt there was not much that could be done in the way of changing his mind and I wanted to pursue my academic goals. About a month after our break up and my relocation out of the state with no communication, he called me and told me he had made the biggest mistake of his life. We talked constantly after that phone call and discussed what had gone wrong before the break up, and within ten days he had relocated to my new home to be with me. After he relocated, all was wonderful from what I could tell and within the next two years we bought a home, got engaged, married, and I started my graduate program.

Fast forward to a month ago, my husband came home after work one day and told me that he was doubting his romantic feelings for me and was no longer sure if continuing to stay married was an option. Essentially, he was 70% ready to proceed with a divorce and 30% willing to go to counseling and work things out (his percentages, not made up). Within the next week, we started couples therapy, but the road has not been easy since then. I am on what feels like an emotional roller coaster of anger, sadness, and devastation. My emotional state has not been helped by the fact that I am in the most demanding part of the didactic phase of my graduate program prior to starting rotations this summer. 

I have been hurt so badly during this past month from hearing that he has ""kind of felt this way our whole marriage"" and that over this past summer he gave himself a 6 month deadline to start feeling better. I just cannot imagine a world in which I would not have told my spouse how I was feeling the moment I started having doubts. Last week, I discovered that while I was out of town a couple weekends ago that he was looking at pictures of a high school/college crush late at night. I was so hurt to learn this because he has lied or been not fully truthful about this same person in the past. On Tuesday of this week, I told him that I still loved him very much and as much as my brain was telling me that this should be over, I just could not bring my heart to agree. I told him that is still so much worth fighting for in this relationship, and I would feel regretful having looked back and not tried everything given my feelings. In the same conversation, I told him that he shouldn't base his decision on staying with me on my sadness. I do not want to be on this roller coaster anymore if he has already made his decision. I do not want to be strung along. He never really gave me a direct answer other than saying he wanted to continue working on our relationship. I don't know what to do, and I don't feel like he is trying to rebuild his love for me. Do I wait for him to make up his mind? If not, how can I be strong enough to end things despite my strong emotional feelings for him? I do no want to sacrifice my future career and end up having my marriage end anyway, but I don't want to give up feeling like I didn't exhaust all options to make it work.",8.93519105312209,6.483236615615617,8.60378896137517,74.28175675675676,61.97297297297297,11.708729419074247,37.83038210624417,10.004066432519934,3.5255552034793407,2670,99,527,42,29,860,279,666,0.133,0.777,0.091,-0.9827,0,0,0,0,3,0,61.0,8,0,0,8,16,28,2,3,30,0,63,8,2,7,6,115,116,40,0,18,20,3,11,3,0,5,3,2,3,1,32,38,0,1,18,3,2,6,22,15,0,5,43,15,80,13,95,59,13,114,1,6,2,3,74,41,0,11,63,378,112,14,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023989379845354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06373799539649816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06056487498903682,0.0,0.0,0.11456192141682768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044412759179909285,0.04822597607917185,0.03520907555042476,0.0,0.0982965426516516,0.0,0.0,0.051082743146416164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447764290439993,0.11795587323176505,0.06606039333224639,0.0,0.0,0.061100886636257776,0.0,0.0,0.062416472679655714,0.0,0.13834650525134715,0.1278174724037682,0.0,0.07449897209024914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05910704926150113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19491178158202888,0.15347079307013078,0.05968002124783413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05190965980719717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628401217316508,0.12378815745591533,0.11091453013288323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05540726349298072,0.032825514606598015,0.0,0.046194788209416776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509808281095049,0.06844415900272069,0.03871433808970605,0.061025078487060964,0.17380960284001915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12366344320683086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06014664095830601,0.031742588172065225,0.04708092660051172,0.06515415938206445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04079657148526954,0.08465372905514032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09700526907894418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15638803732992773,0.16395760763849285,0.07710856030430295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05818566189997675,0.0,0.0,0.11663933933839304,0.0,0.18440929197156045,0.061388197175532684,0.1698367180418249,0.0,0.04454695391243764,0.0557835668185448,0.12285374484825055,0.0542024858352512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.039138687800478175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12509376069848924,0.16541121243410534,0.0,0.05043253738708296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037001605666002524,0.0,0.0,0.1240221328030779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045931916652147686,0.0,0.11690947092224516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04777846883132126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20440899233794785,0.12312585704274252,0.09225210414213578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054436749159481886,0.0,0.0,0.04642413406264353,0.10096703577745317,0.0,0.06605193481818471,0.0,0.07674442734652742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06735894914343503,0.0,0.0,0.3311446141969809,0.0,0.07842852719145416,0.0,0.056421710008809314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047656852127132006,0.2044049330544467,0.09169209597110307,0.18532169718703415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448535760321893,0.0,0.0,0.06263668288795858,0.16819564713034074,0.0,0.0,0.08206003248075942,0.06314990655733778,0.0,0.1487784482119069
divorce,KeepingHoldOfMe,2018/02/17,"Alimony after getting fired Quick question for everyone: My stbxw and I are very close to having our divorce finalized (a little over one month away).  We are divorcing because I caught her having an affair with a co-worker.  The affair is still going on to this day and they still work together.  What's worse she's a VP at her company and her AP is her subordinate.  We have filed all paperwork here in Colorado and are just waiting for the court date.  I have 60% of the children, she has to pay me a small amount of child support and there is no recommended alimony as our salaries are comparable.  Anyway, her affair has come out at work and she tells me today that if she gets fired I will have to pay her alimony.  Is this legit?",4.775352112676051,5.966247943661977,5.653633802816902,79.82059154929577,69.56338028169014,9.060281690140846,28.9887323943662,9.3871,2.519451267605634,576,21,110,12,10,189,92,142,0.106,0.862,0.031,-0.8689,0,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,4,0,1,2,7,1,0,0,8,0,16,0,0,0,1,17,23,8,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,12,0,1,1,0,2,3,1,0,0,1,1,2,22,1,18,21,2,22,0,0,0,0,24,10,0,2,9,85,26,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20363849877854606,0.0,0.0,0.13212537461396684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18670610891270265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13978220731303578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20710856276962467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23743289603801954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22648000662000076,0.0,0.12318083751110248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21723482979878206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17300331237853867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468716149656161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24280333251179745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34618471596194256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24595897681116885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18944415917214924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054483481333904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17883682947602345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4733775142798392,0.0,0.2208810607973448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Throwawayaccountgcvc,2018/02/17,"Contemplating divorce and need advice I have been married for 7 years and I have been considering divorce for sometime. My husband and I have had issues with online infidelity (he denies because it wasn’t physical) on and off throughout our marriage. We initially went to marriage counseling for a few months which seemed to help but really just placed a bandage over it. After a few years, I don’t trust him and have no desire to even look to see if he has continued to have online affairs or even try marriage counseling. I feel like I am emotionally disconnected, unhappy, no longer want to try counseling and no longer have interest in sex (although we still do it weekly???). My hope is someone on this thread can help me to process if I’m ready or not for divorce. Thank you.",9.163901477832514,8.03392850344828,8.845812807881774,68.53689655172415,60.51724137931035,12.147783251231527,40.714285714285715,11.20814326018867,4.615118226600986,623,29,108,14,7,201,92,145,0.102,0.716,0.182,0.9334,0,0,0,0,3,0,17.0,3,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,3,0,16,1,0,0,0,22,26,12,0,6,7,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,2,0,0,1,6,0,0,0,5,3,14,5,18,21,2,14,0,0,2,1,17,6,0,6,8,78,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20552100843070528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820833298179396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2365802396539773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778270476430497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063434587094381,0.15025172783062246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28194439481186,0.0,0.0,0.2088939337268149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951808982217946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275109767563953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661474555403028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787438707504956,0.0,0.0,0.1559486578858635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21973828699203254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347355505910366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675967811265476,0.1914662537793772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17820235974116067,0.0,0.20801058117124685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16796079279598394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19363321016295906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28558519564176205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405142381843295,0.0,0.16870498224015304,0.0,0.0,0.19496755046231087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27087670622804283
divorce,purtygirl0121,2018/02/17,"Roommate vs studio? (F33) I live in a super expensive city where it’s not uncommon for ppl over 30 to have roommates (think New York or sf). 

I’ve been married for 7 years so haven’t lived by myself in a while. If I get roommates, I can stay in my current neighborhood (which is nice) in nice full service buildings with my own room/bathroom for around 2200-2300. 

If I get a studio, the lowest I can get it is prob 2600-2700, it will likely be much smaller place and either in an older building or not as ideal neighborhood. 

I do love to cook and enjoy being by myself at times. Thoughts? (Edit: I don’t own, we are renting as a coupe so I need to find a new place to rent)",1.9140407673860944,3.5568611654676268,3.444046762589931,91.00165767386093,77.63309352517986,5.784412470023981,23.09412470023981,6.42735559955562,0.5002225419664268,518,16,111,4,12,171,93,139,0.041,0.85,0.11,0.8774,4,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,1,0,0,2,4,7,0,0,7,0,13,2,0,0,0,18,20,11,0,4,8,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,4,0,4,5,1,0,3,1,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,0,13,7,20,15,5,20,0,0,0,1,2,12,0,4,8,74,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19721273439018705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20247858255094853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34722800626741296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823060022842784,0.0,0.3912381661063055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19994359773258066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285339824651945,0.16426507579593802,0.0,0.4279189342542333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4629129465728834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23612637435077835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195040658672164,0.0,0.17587370206681344,0.12917858866798682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14266099908493324
divorce,shecreatedherdream,2018/02/17,"Updating your look after divorce ? Hello everyone

What are the ways you freshened up your look and made yourself feel better after the separation/divorce? 

A change is always welcome and is an uplifting way to deal with some sadness and welcome a new start.


I personally:
- make sure I workout everyday
- removed my hair extensions, it felt like a weight was lifted (I had them in for him)
-changed my hair color and cut it shorter
- will update wardrobe when I have the chance 
- dress up my kids extra nicely and do their hair with more creativity 
- donated the furniture that I couldn’t get rid of while he lived in the house and that he didn’t want to take with him either.. 

Your turn :) ideas are always welcome ",6.089991518235795,7.436376099236642,6.030178117048348,77.7542408821035,66.63358778625954,8.87565733672604,32.1128074639525,9.150863307647796,2.8667041560644613,563,23,98,10,9,177,92,131,0.035,0.7609999999999999,0.204,0.9689,0,0,0,0,2,0,18.0,0,4,2,1,1,9,1,0,9,0,11,4,3,2,1,19,22,8,0,2,1,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,9,1,0,3,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,5,9,16,7,13,15,4,16,0,1,3,0,18,4,0,1,10,66,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3121419719706688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16588799894153494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3968425810098058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933736089664025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17922855490862485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948396424005624,0.0,0.18009398403436594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09799615177512074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164274347296567,0.0,0.21174060572772596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163588882743423,0.0,0.16562532693480306,0.0,0.31501851668708164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748067655928856,0.12520260250590032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18115362847343544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377649658922613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13276107200197093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17677992274348495,0.0,0.14102723645522694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2040193175402098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11063202962362023,0.2977643208353937,0.0,0.2284063917153419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Willy2shirts,2018/02/17,"A story you prolly heard 1000 times... iShe came home one day and said, ""Sorry pal...just don't love you anymore.""

No cheating No violence No hidden money shit

23 years together, married 17, 2 kids.

Blindsided. I had absolutely no idea this was coming.

This was July 2016. She just sat me down one day and said, I love, you, but I'm not in love with you..."" 

She figuratively shut the bedroom door in October 2016. Asked for divorce March 2017. She moved out on my birthday in August '17, I Got papers the day before Thanksgiving 2017. Our anniversary used to be middle of November. Her birthday is middle of December. Finalized December 2017.

I thought it would get better by now. I tell myself I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating her, but I'm lava pissing mad at her for ending it, and she's unable to give me any discernible reason.

I spend 90% of my time alone now. All my guy friends are married dads with important day jobs and it takes a month of planning to get the guys in a bar together. I don't have any single friends. She does. She has all these single friends that not only encouraged her but can hang with her at a moment's notice. 

I hate to admit it but it feels like she won.

She gets what she wants, and I not only do I not get what I want, but I get everything I ever wanted taken away and I have no say in the matter.

*  Edit I spel guud
",1.0747565982404694,3.4211491818181834,3.059495601173019,88.92769501466276,84.45454545454545,6.021114369501468,20.14369501466276,7.359569317364363,0.6980439882697951,1055,31,216,17,31,354,156,275,0.174,0.725,0.101,-0.9436,1,1,0,0,1,0,45.0,1,4,0,3,4,16,6,0,9,0,15,7,2,2,3,39,47,11,0,5,10,1,1,1,3,1,1,4,3,3,11,12,1,0,7,1,3,4,12,6,0,2,12,5,42,10,27,33,5,34,0,0,0,3,39,14,2,0,17,135,53,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1162993509923933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15272312005996855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11136224972383484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10497669231026736,0.0,0.10550085520372827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095551156914822,0.0,0.0,0.09931204240459106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12843070242080945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09672853748284344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2896729744571025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09826639128760492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09945627407910228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157341136506877,0.0,0.0,0.10091968477894754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05677757672536885,0.08022053362333675,0.0,0.12300902695589895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602666627120926,0.0,0.2933364089830126,0.1077195186203171,0.0,0.0,0.08980917004349567,0.0,0.0,0.22237099195274526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22172773430297654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263677701683313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676258770362825,0.0,0.0,0.11143124177596007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07931427695051786,0.054859588005639316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3040403556708795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962940464839296,0.11934729549592757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12784376215550705,0.0,0.0,0.15218223545122353,0.17080434947389958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545359211517316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2136284335124844,0.08929811073785814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11526484033217632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12570030028470885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084428668598142,0.0,0.09814706416465986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08914631181984063,0.1309552776852164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698315373269616,0.0,0.0,0.2649279727862461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07976812641103291,0.0,0.0,0.07231156085020644
divorce,tana75,2018/02/17,"He is just not getting it. Rant. I am 42. He is 40. Married for 7 years. In a nutshell, he’s just an all around self centered asshole with a huge superiority complex.  I finally realized he is who he is. He’s not going to change. It’s time to get a divorce.  I told him this yesterday. I cried my eyes out and slept in the other room. He made the same promises he’s made a dozen times.  Today he was nice to me and, frankly, it hurt. Because if he kept being an asshole, it would be easier to divorce him. I started crying and saying I didn’t want to divorce him, but I didn’t want to be married to an asshole anymore. He again gave me puppy dog eyes and made promises. And then about an hour later he made some stupid comments that told me that he thought that we were just having another fight and that we already made up and now things can go back to normal.  I really need to get out of this house and away from him and his crocodile tears. I’m moving in to a hotel tomorrow and hopefully into something more permanent in the next month.  Gadh! He’s such an asshole,   and I gotta keep reminding myself that he’s an ass in sheeps clothing.  /rant. ",1.5366105457909356,3.5968121744680914,3.3581868640148014,89.18434782608696,80.44680851063829,6.129509713228493,24.68547641073081,7.255503002510835,1.0958584643848286,891,34,187,12,23,298,134,235,0.091,0.823,0.085,-0.7524,0,0,1,0,4,0,29.0,2,0,0,0,9,8,2,0,14,0,15,4,4,5,1,44,39,14,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,1,14,18,0,2,3,1,0,3,4,3,0,1,15,3,21,5,26,19,4,33,0,1,2,1,33,14,1,3,16,118,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086991208307806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338568708029524,0.0,0.0,0.12659895951907885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136395669078476,0.0,0.0,0.1199356023274227,0.09815842876954478,0.0,0.07781699669813102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13504153174419795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804449421461862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983926207211025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008261825747292,0.0,0.1450979852111041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12678971930309316,0.12571396578445876,0.14729615064487292,0.13665677955565314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346518255588856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6039488594337783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10189260183715956,0.13567652834483504,0.0,0.0946541922318379,0.0,0.0,0.13576200607025046,0.0,0.12507430372222447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177873974036015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151597991660097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317148107860624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09827466864370303,0.0,0.0,0.09035451021172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08480797572875548,0.0,0.0,0.1013434116977944,0.14887272787316974,0.0,0.12100153717666358,0.24395868533635745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505878598241856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09068209228411203,0.0,0.0,0.08220531093381225
divorce,newchapter1123,2018/02/17,"Renting in same apartment building? My STBXH and I are currently in the midst of prepping our marital home for sale. We have a two year old and are trying to keep things as normal as possible for her. I’m also just not entirely ready to live completely separate lives. We’re thinking about renting two units in the same building. This would be better for times my daughter is sick, or if we have things to do? Is this a terrible idea? I want to live in the grey area for a little bit while we transition to our new lives. I still love him very much and have nothing bad to say about him, but we are not a good couple. We’re pretty much best friends. ",3.583923076923078,5.035588776923079,4.1846153846153875,88.21538461538464,72.76923076923076,7.661538461538463,26.84615384615385,8.238735603445708,1.6189076923076926,511,18,106,8,10,162,83,130,0.066,0.767,0.16699999999999998,0.9358,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,6,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,7,0,11,2,0,0,0,21,16,10,0,4,6,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,3,0,4,7,0,1,2,0,3,0,2,2,0,2,0,2,14,5,19,14,6,14,0,0,1,1,13,7,0,2,7,74,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084026569465695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616808795428675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15857754268737415,0.1336419198579329,0.16496977914978705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15843288325472912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.167197093884203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11674494397553943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12674143732340246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1515727072233044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058148414526342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431090277532526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1514489768912293,0.5337212290194879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363800262362634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22216215950290347,0.0,0.0,0.14594014547702758,0.0,0.0,0.1480528411317078,0.1449913047366853,0.0,0.15856144630807115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035051210843022,0.0,0.15373020959405548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201664034868541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206742977090292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20077763990846148,0.0968233061427542,0.0,0.0,0.08811174506955857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10259177855282596,0.0,0.29521929257527874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246791542576422,0.0891268622867114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10734212386460704,0.0,0.0,0.09730799594852137
divorce,babtrperson,2018/02/17,"Has anyone considered getting back with their ex because their young children are upset to go to other home every other weekend? Hi, I've been divorced for well over a year. My young children (a toddler and an elementary school aged child) often put up a fight when they have to go to my ex'es every other weekend. I know that he doesn't abuse them and they love him and he loves them. They just like familiar things and want us to be a family unit. Sometimes they ask if I'll go with them to his house, etc. My ex and I were very dysfunctional together. However, I've discovered that I'm not happy since the divorce. I miss the family unit, but not him, particularly. It wouldn't be fair to him if we got back together when I know that he can probably find a woman who is more suitable for him. I can't help but feel like the divorce has been a futile process because I'm still unhappy and my children don't seem like they're that happy. Maybe I need to give it more time. It's only been about a year. I am reaching out to see if my feelings are normal.
",3.5472663551401844,4.819568434579441,4.734661214953274,84.93974883177572,72.5981308411215,7.779906542056075,26.45911214953271,8.278499904357787,1.620832710280374,831,28,171,13,16,274,122,214,0.11,0.7959999999999999,0.094,-0.6696,1,0,0,0,5,0,21.0,2,0,9,0,9,11,1,1,11,0,18,2,0,0,0,29,38,13,0,7,8,2,2,3,0,1,0,0,1,5,12,10,0,0,6,2,0,4,6,3,1,0,5,3,28,8,17,30,3,20,0,1,1,2,37,3,0,5,16,110,40,1,0.0,0.1657776322560845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783255079534793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080261335500135,0.0,0.0,0.21517360183334355,0.0,0.17058304287553344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15604337359058496,0.0,0.0,0.23577060228438496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26380078712499794,0.0,0.14149151115739567,0.09995604940239593,0.0,0.0,0.12788072892706387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07310035788467456,0.13422021817220198,0.2385525355897,0.0,0.1119036415265675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978864599769655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09378277462576767,0.0,0.14034719964448078,0.0,0.0,0.16144432866206246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15378839672689107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20506773420258947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25255938381441684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14056447164723246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10374597335379036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1370880155992202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641245590761418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085315945964994,0.0,0.0,0.14065426874503426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14160250573977853,0.11149497164420284,0.12737431108437872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11573999700032295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13838054462317265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173713304186908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09295400217028003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158617011492962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16830177287100506,0.0,0.0,0.1154453890456866,0.08252610753076271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12580132630936444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020268931756198
divorce,Phillyjustice,2018/02/18,"What if l just left 34 yr old male been married for 8 years. I've just had enough of the constant fighting over nothing. I'm thinking of just leaving! We each have a kid from a previous relationship. I just want out. I just want to grab my clothes and my sons stuff. 
What could happen from this?",0.9892142857142864,3.3847730166666707,1.9128571428571417,96.61500000000002,85.5,4.761904761904762,23.57142857142857,6.18269132825596,0.3691428571428568,231,9,51,2,7,72,47,60,0.046,0.901,0.053,-0.2942,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,1,0,0,0,5,1,1,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,14,9,2,0,4,6,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,5,0,8,6,2,6,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,33,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3037348706010615,0.0,0.22441008527931647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2904185826746961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2485476791428089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29761063851032965,0.3053814193904573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696925163165371,0.0,0.2949337929145033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30176205768584546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3217558415947738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1800971521647317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3315626106703892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18099870425151174
divorce,NorthSeaSiren,2018/02/18,"First steps for separation? (Calling my husband's bluff on divorce threats) For background, see my other post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/7yfk50/how_can_i_call_my_husbands_bluff_on_his_divorce/

My husband threatens divorce every time we argue, even for little things. Last time I promised him if he did that again, he would get his wish. Of course, yesterday, he did it again. I want to call his bluff and force him to face the consequences.  My hope is that maybe he will finally agree to go to counseling once he sees our marriage is really at risk.

I don't really know how to do that though. We live in Illinois, but I don't know much about the law. From what I've read we can get a ""no fault"" divorce, but it requires us to be legally living separately for 2.5 years. So then the first step would be separation, but my husband makes a much larger salary than I do and I can't afford to rent a place, and I have no friends or family here since we moved. We have no children but recently purchased a house.

I truly don't want a divorce, but I'm at the end of my rope and I will not stay in a marriage where he uses this tactic to get whatever he wants from me. What's the point of being married when you threaten to leave at the drop of a hat anyway? I really just want to scare him into recognizing this destructive pattern and hopefully seeking help. Or, if he takes me up on it and actually goes through with the divorce, then clearly it's what he wanted deep down all along, and why should I stay married to someone who doesn't want to be involved.

I don't know what the right thing to do is, but I feel like I must do something.",6.115000000000002,6.901421359872612,5.865484076433122,80.97338535031852,66.29299363057325,8.572993630573249,30.031210191082806,8.548686976883017,2.0624603821656056,1313,45,255,18,20,408,171,314,0.108,0.78,0.112,-0.5384,3,0,1,0,6,0,47.0,7,1,0,3,12,11,3,2,15,0,28,1,1,3,3,51,51,23,0,15,12,3,1,1,1,6,0,0,1,1,17,15,0,1,4,1,2,4,10,6,0,2,2,3,35,5,38,39,3,39,0,0,2,0,40,16,0,6,16,172,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.10911953919817606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283600829635476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903873959463737,0.0,0.0,0.07385561507178995,0.0,0.09421261105955832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10541331579852696,0.0,0.05653921472712689,0.07988375407413224,0.0,0.12249261397813435,0.0,0.19022693561660892,0.0,0.0,0.08639133955158022,0.0,0.17526295947778095,0.0,0.06354950400948083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495014208129577,0.0,0.0,0.2221236570167412,0.0,0.12902449751274828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843589438113324,0.09114768099226993,0.0,0.11840052856023925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05462927805276824,0.11207234799042752,0.197477039912624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746402732897086,0.0,0.11233754987078047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884625509441868,0.16440015219116455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11908394060912506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11682740379884725,0.0,0.1057054132003013,0.0,0.1070920116123182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11184959323051816,0.0,0.2149029846882776,0.0,0.11040810167934582,0.0,0.0,0.09549309969410506,0.0,0.0,0.11195065970461876,0.0,0.17821106273362494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09249810804040223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474415826379354,0.08608398579645422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383690625899819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08407422257707806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14857559285249256,0.0,0.10986192725981386,0.0,0.1304055049849766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13450489004566005,0.09657600183131528,0.0,0.0,0.3957236396254464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10089955594640257,0.0,0.12858671487812545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588664922896881,0.0,0.0,0.07200798452422795
divorce,throwaway21118,2018/02/18,"Needing Outside Perspective We've been separated for a few months. It was my choice. They cheated on me a few years ago and things were never the same. After I promised to forgive and forget, things were ok for a year or two. However, gradually they stopped having any interest in a relationship. The sex became non-existent. They told me right before my birthday that they just weren't interested in me anymore. Eventually, I gave up and we lived as hostile roommates for a few months. We tried marriage counseling. After the second session (and their refusing to go), the counselor said that he thought I should leave them. After 6 weeks of counseling, I told them I had never forgiven them for cheating on me and that I didn't love them anymore. They moved out shortly afterwards.


I've been living on my own for a few months. Everything was compounded when I had some close family members die. My pet even died. Things have been rough. Things have been lonely. 


The person I haven't mentioned is my best friend. They've been the most helpful and supportive person that you could ask for. We work for the same company and they secretly have covered for me when things got rough. They've checked up on me to make sure I'm eating right and going to the doctor when I need it. 


My best friend is single, attractive, and the person in the world that understands me the best. My soon-to-be-ex always thought there was something between us once I told my STBX that I wanted to divorce. At first I thought the idea was absurd but the more they accused me, the more I thought about it. 


Nothing has ever happened but I don't know if that will always be the case. I can't stop thinking about my friend that has done so much for me without ever asking anything in return now that I live on my own. We haven't gone a day without talking in months. Usually we talk for a few hours each day, every day. Sometimes we start talking at 7am and don't stop until late at night. There is no one that knows as much about me nor I about them. We've never once talked about having a relationship. I have no idea how they'd respond. 


I know it's not healthy at this point.


The longer I stay in my small apartment, the lonelier I feel. My ex messages me sometimes with reminders of what we used to have. Sometimes I wonder if I acted rashly. Sometimes I wonder if I let subconscious feelings for my best friend drive me to make a decision. Sometimes I wonder if I should've left my ex sooner. Sometimes I think of going back. Sometimes I think of leaving everything and becoming a different person altogether in another place. 


When you leave someone, you lose a lot of friends. I have lost most of my social circle. I have no family left to talk to. Most of my friends think I should pursue my best friend. Some of them think I should live as a hermit. A few think I should try to work things out with my ex. The opinions range the full spectrum of all possible ideas. 


What do I do? How do I know what the right answer is? ",3.424605657014091,5.503511161234993,4.007857935627079,86.68876063633003,74.60891938250428,6.905310597652441,26.52571217166112,7.793537801064563,1.5480407560622875,2369,88,459,34,51,748,252,583,0.085,0.804,0.11,0.967,2,2,1,0,1,0,66.0,8,3,15,10,20,27,3,0,34,1,48,5,1,5,7,96,92,30,2,12,11,3,4,0,7,5,1,2,1,4,24,24,1,4,27,0,1,7,17,6,0,4,28,6,92,21,67,55,29,78,0,3,0,2,66,33,0,15,37,338,116,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04652169797539567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733765215396674,0.0,0.0,0.035689231004225414,0.055031446177363386,0.0,0.0,0.10409512466700707,0.0,0.0,0.0431878165052753,0.0,0.09812626720694292,0.0,0.0,0.040355046829367684,0.0,0.0,0.05796171189985281,0.04465790524073942,0.0,0.27538056947013545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04190222060197971,0.0,0.0,0.10153870969589802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1089350570833554,0.054832014799856256,0.0,0.0537170561451241,0.0,0.053706812747914764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05370169357951589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03466354679627685,0.09494507290505128,0.04421794130463914,0.0,0.09433400631247453,0.0,0.09894980636424593,0.0,0.05307246344407189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044640751270226056,0.0,0.0,0.28382962715832233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947936608360445,0.0,0.0419742631596514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640923186936624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035177254361732975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051683722324530515,0.0,0.0,0.17773573274845664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11536987620877115,0.0,0.0592014367389427,0.166711045265646,0.11404264284394908,0.053665906527721775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853685629060884,0.0,0.0,0.05871339290287572,0.05728977500925436,0.044617908716956485,0.04736661781086414,0.0,0.07006363980720423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16756098361592625,0.05577954663329561,0.07715990670789435,0.0778287592414465,0.1214309431188402,0.0,0.0,0.04925034820036975,0.0,0.05035743068023386,0.0,0.0,0.11178220488657603,0.03556283392865131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18329934420289049,0.054832014799856256,0.0,0.04961199677948362,0.05916502455386296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11269101649082655,0.0,0.13445678544890294,0.04992194050058773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053498297092928616,0.044467418766447935,0.040402835548318236,0.3633389335562375,0.0,0.03714668762067483,0.05593831388338495,0.0,0.1316306937113403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059555403184232324,0.049463208369255836,0.0,0.0,0.21091327567847912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20919832611051334,0.20176822063238464,0.0,0.16665784797815675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044501467561544,0.0,0.07126300968486536,0.0,0.05126681592501664,0.05463510971468862,0.06312880267659808,0.045327180006869895,0.057800976080368285,0.0,0.03095495828181362,0.0,0.0420975070372555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118061852726408,0.1707418983545114,0.0764143383767872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06759275212412529
divorce,fireswamp2015,2018/02/18,"After divorce My divorce was final 6 months ago. We were married for 13 years and together for 18.  We have two kids that we share custody of. Since the divorce I feel relieved, and am moving on with my life and making the best of it.  My ex has suffered with depression throughout our marriage and is now severely depressed although he is seeing a counselor.  He continues to message me about how he doesn't know how this happened and how it's ""obvious I don't care"" about him anymore, he doesn't know how we got here, on and on.  Should I just ignore these messages? We have to communicate regularly because of our kids. I want to be supportive and not make his depression worse, he has been suicidal so I'm afraid of saying anything negative to him. ",4.57691287878788,6.234274229166669,5.330732323232322,80.1602272727273,70.59722222222223,8.291919191919192,33.22979797979798,8.841846274778883,2.9514388888888896,595,29,108,11,11,193,95,144,0.203,0.72,0.076,-0.9713,0,0,0,0,3,0,15.0,7,0,0,1,10,11,0,1,3,0,15,1,0,6,1,29,27,13,1,2,2,1,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,5,14,0,1,3,0,0,1,5,6,0,1,4,3,18,5,18,21,1,11,0,4,1,0,26,3,0,0,7,79,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681878861892954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866335855504518,0.0,0.0,0.15486406442681785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147186767230197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19749344932549515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918719117598951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4862624636037585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515435212021832,0.0,0.0,0.20615258593269947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15051247134548848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1664155045518166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2068482431836623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329239300510331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512361334070892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502111999511954,0.2000158378570086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965597975272169,0.0,0.0,0.14996280278135535,0.0,0.0,0.21260076216017013,0.0,0.1556724405425377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20584895564507769,0.2135554084926128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838339635299648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099914377701152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19178135223368126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118797807777412
divorce,CJFedora1,2018/02/18,"When Do You Know You're Ready? 42 year old male, married 8 yrs, together 13.  2 young boys, 4 and 6.  Various degrees of incompatibility since the start, main one is sexual/chemistry (I've posted that story on Dead Bedrooms).  Have contemplated leaving for years, but the kids have been the main hurdle for me to clear to do so - the thought of losing then 50% of the time is soul crushing.  

In counseling now (~2 months, I pushed for it), it's not helping me and it's caused my SO to scramble to throw the kitchen sink at things to the point where it kind of feels forced and driven by fear and loss.  
 
Our story is like many others - two otherwise good people who care for each other and look great on paper but just don't have the intangibles under the hood to make things fulfilling and sustainable long term (aside from the kids).  Divorce attorney tells me custody would be 50/50 and incomes are virtually the same so no alimony, support, etc.  It would be a fairly clean break, logistically.

My main question is how do you get to the point where you're ready to pull the trigger and end the marriage?  The last couple weeks I have woken up in the middle of the night anxious about it, and also anxious about staying in an unfulfilling marriage for the duration.  I stress (and now cry) often about partially losing these boys I love so dearly.  And we've only been in counseling for 2 months, not 2 years.  And there aren't horrible fights or abuse etc.  (Although counseling has finally caused very frank discussions about our/my unhappiness over the years).

All of this holds me back when I start to summon the courage to do it.  I feel like I'm in an endless loop of hell trying to make a final decision and then act on it.

Any thoughts? 
",5.217525285695519,6.426533996978854,5.494512018915014,81.30214632864839,68.54682779456193,8.656823853934059,28.89281492184421,8.964715089967882,2.216875633784317,1367,48,263,24,23,434,195,331,0.142,0.708,0.149,0.5914,1,0,0,0,3,0,47.0,1,2,0,4,21,17,2,2,24,0,22,2,0,6,2,40,39,27,1,2,6,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,3,5,16,14,1,1,7,0,0,5,5,7,0,2,6,3,15,10,42,29,10,51,2,3,1,1,18,17,1,3,28,168,31,1,0.0,0.13153242938798654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08877717570583613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07549274859799918,0.0,0.0,0.2508265210447634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536225968526047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11318530475606785,0.2280821694393815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283393863738727,0.12194273216773502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832470018421803,0.0,0.24761801382904605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492065690342853,0.11226316811884972,0.07930781632598803,0.0,0.24321895842934094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05799978881861247,0.0,0.0,0.09311256298377554,0.0,0.12239238945329366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07440977418604974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560311224711273,0.061009923829543136,0.09049053373188276,0.0,0.11754689649714432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10847083490366964,0.0,0.0,0.0982431441029592,0.09322308637042792,0.2483906368970276,0.0,0.0,0.10019370184551518,0.0,0.14820427890978688,0.11254990959130992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772192739240155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10417832075491452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11648962618662582,0.0,0.07522538327850806,0.08443050278971985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696254014173619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098866181720124,0.0,0.1063199105421182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.124360134215008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183122460872288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15715135747609685,0.1183252468088868,0.0,0.0,0.12716518790519618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12597640671236174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970303859390114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14750440768639175,0.0,0.0,0.1762640811426979,0.06473266033321798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07537064155065963,0.0,0.10844371641375414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159747473871332,0.0,0.0,0.0890480524780645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15772111284570273,0.0,0.0,0.28595531478665515
divorce,fartblasterdeluxe,2018/02/18,"In limbo Would love to hear a bit of advice from those who have survived the limbo stage between choosing to separate, and getting all your ducks in a row to actually move out and on with life.

I'm struggling a fair bit at the moment with the fact that our joint home won't be ready to sell for at least a couple more months due to renovations that need completing.

On top of that, I told work I needed a couple of months to clear my head and that I was going to disappear overseas for a little bit. I know I'm extremely fortunate to be in a position to be able to do this. They have been extremely supportive and told me I have a job to come back to, which is 100% more than I expected, but I have a couple of special projects that'll take me through to May before I can do anything. On coming back from overseas I'll be moving back to the head office a couple of hours away but until then I'm still working from home.

Thankfully we don't have kids together but after 12 years it's still obviously still messy. I've been trying to keep as busy as possible with a few motorbike projects on the go but there's still a lot of time in between. What initially started out as an amicable split is getting less amicable by the day.

I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Just looking to hear from others who have found it.

",6.4662710084033606,5.374275522058826,7.127584033613446,78.56573529411766,65.83823529411765,10.565546218487397,32.66386554621849,9.784248007369934,2.8088983193277306,1050,36,219,19,14,349,146,272,0.032,0.887,0.081,0.8895,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,1,1,4,10,5,0,1,22,0,23,4,2,0,4,32,48,13,0,4,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,2,1,14,12,0,1,4,0,1,7,2,1,0,0,6,4,16,4,56,34,10,44,0,0,1,1,12,16,0,2,20,156,30,5,0.0984238727054162,0.0,0.09604750194615977,0.0,0.0,0.09617866929263734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08099446097910483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09247246832250476,0.2270456483021264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375146641154724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3223601323043311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16956690258086848,0.1031955579390878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4356165723862595,0.0,0.06347525549116004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08717433746384574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791669624443707,0.0,0.0,0.1028448223860856,0.0,0.1118731100750492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202257736743995,0.0,0.2218617155363738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197454338631182,0.0,0.09692768863546858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09767050660742599,0.08748366036435526,0.0,0.0,0.10818237286451006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0695196920315575,0.0,0.09864657732994904,0.0,0.0,0.08265126438678247,0.0,0.0,0.0836764569031494,0.08883138784118884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571219923498891,0.209218000760505,0.0,0.14596010897340686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1109581280167358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06966492368578625,0.0,0.3144057275273791,0.0,0.0,0.1028940018655642,0.0,0.0,0.11169024437044556,0.0,0.0,0.07400250327238139,0.0,0.0,0.09061547832281172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739175167834582,0.0,0.0,0.18809645646485493,0.0,0.06682334885429286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14330750310441867,0.0,0.0,0.06991749525106336,0.0,0.0,0.06338174706886436
divorce,erica90,2018/02/18,"F**king miserable So my husband 39 and me 25 have been married for 3 years. We have a 3 yo and a 10 mo daughters and a 8 yo daughter from his previous marriage. Honestly I feel like I knew I should have never married him before we ever got married; but I did anyways as I thought I loved him. He had been very unstable leading up to my last pregnancy and our relationship hit the lowest point then when I found out he supposedly cheated(he still denies). Our entire relationship he has been pretty controlling. There have been more incidents than I can count where he has gotten physical but never to the point to cause harm- more like pushing, shoving, grabbing. Honestly I feel like I still do love home but I can’t do this shit anymore. I would die if my girls grow up thinking this is ok. Lately he starts fights constantly and blames everything on me-won’t even let me talk. He is such a loud asshole. Our house(my house) is still only in my name and we really don’t have more than a few thousand in savings currently. What do I do?? I am so lost but so overwhelmed. I have such a connection also with my step daughter also - she calls me mom and loves me just like her mom. I don’t know how I would handle not seeing her. Also I don’t want to not see my girls. Please anything will help at this point. What to do????? 

Side note our entire relationship he has made his ex out to be the worst person alive and over the last 6 months I have expressed how I thought we needed to be the bigger people for the 8yo and how I thought me and her should take our girls out to do something sometime. He flew off the handle and basically forbid it- huge red flag am I right??? ",3.121499784203713,4.9670539154078615,4.135764997842038,86.46646148036257,74.80060422960725,7.024643936124297,26.02082434182132,7.83500028581142,1.4655911955114367,1310,47,262,19,28,424,179,331,0.122,0.722,0.157,0.8735,2,0,1,0,1,0,40.0,9,0,0,3,22,19,2,2,13,1,40,4,1,7,3,55,64,28,1,7,8,7,3,4,0,5,0,1,1,4,6,19,0,2,9,0,0,5,8,8,0,1,16,7,50,11,26,39,5,40,0,3,3,3,49,19,1,1,20,183,56,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24378798904538684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077624383084673,0.0,0.0,0.08362170544644061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08646814078780812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037617883418175,0.0,0.0,0.10438811737110462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981131587240353,0.1139715238873745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10546186393913726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711672722729829,0.091917924573557,0.0,0.0,0.09132634071093716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10276069189316557,0.14518966843278014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141722627715744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127198257033946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06811138512390516,0.0,0.10192961558444172,0.0,0.0,0.1172517756000658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055845760369384295,0.16566198891208336,0.11462781649045067,0.0,0.0,0.1039097363866314,0.0,0.19857871876784935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11092639263972867,0.0,0.2751385239925521,0.09615197115500446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802398843910375,0.08110930552911458,0.0,0.0,0.07534733296548139,0.15674578896306432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728391269320219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044807310664535,0.0887275915395467,0.0,0.11154438110638634,0.28818125923062066,0.0,0.0,0.1033804927990922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509811966512959,0.0,0.0,0.32729421454907875,0.0,0.08677991941477334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619503577995152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430785731471133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07822933148309927,0.1005012978779471,0.0,0.07192466815606638,0.0,0.24345315858776154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640294726498381,0.08167547813571634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06511173782893456,0.0,0.24201640534891636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08384423883220607,0.05993603319196504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14437086493965698,0.0,0.0,0.06543768203409255
divorce,throwawaywt5164,2018/02/19,"Divorce with No Sense of Reality I have my kids every other weekend due to a restraining order (I yelled at my STBXW for having an affair).

She is claiming that she is a poor, victim of years of abuse, living alone and barely surviving.

I hired a private investigator that has video of her and her boyfriend driving our kids to/from a bar. They were at the bar for over an hour. The boyfriend can't drive in our state during to multiple DWIs, and drug possessions/sales. He was driving the vehicle.

I don't know whether to be delighted that we have evidence of her putting the kids in danger or depressed that I can't do anything about it (due to the restraining order).

Any advice or thoughts would be nice.",4.798750000000002,6.278046080882351,5.244882352941179,81.68247058823529,69.80882352941177,8.381176470588235,30.511764705882353,8.841846274778883,2.4664935294117645,561,23,106,10,10,179,87,136,0.14400000000000002,0.8,0.057,-0.9061,0,1,1,0,2,0,17.0,3,0,1,1,1,4,2,0,11,0,15,3,0,0,0,13,17,6,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,3,6,5,2,2,2,4,1,4,4,3,0,0,3,1,16,1,18,11,0,17,0,1,0,0,15,5,0,2,5,73,22,1,0.0,0.3423273586048145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28233291164559315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992378352049817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1964780346688461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377596005806517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24884957344516234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350597836451448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434306921213656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845316612591585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878491844503245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512493477979803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.290448136100774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293731576130821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20524311840017093,0.0,0.0,0.18605740053118924
divorce,ToDivorceOrNotToDivo,2018/02/19,"Where to go from here? Been married 29 months in Illinois. No kids but have reasonable assets and equity in a condo.

We've always been a bit up and down but things were excellent for a while. In late 2016 i went on a trip and had some realizations while I was away. I realized that I'd been mostly treated as a butler and bank account. My life revolved around her happiness and I found that I was sacrificing my own happiness to ensure there were enough resources for her spending habits.

She unfortunately was quite messy and didn't care at all about participating in the day to day upkeep of life. I found myself doing everything and always receiving feedback that it was wrong or wasn't good enough. This has taken center stage for a while and really messed with my self worth.


She's been unhappy for a while. She's constantly overspending despite discussions around budgeting and being thoughtful with our resources. It almost seems that the shopping is a momentary outlet for her unhappiness? It always returns quickly though. 

During this time in 2016 we had discussions at length about our feelings around the marriage and I shared how truly unhappy I was with how I felt that I was not valued and was merely a means to an end.(lifestyle) She showed remorse and we discussed things further and agreed to make some adjustments. We created a monthly ""shopping budget"" so she could continue her outlet in a way that we agreed was reasonable. She also agreed to show her appreciation for me while also participating in the upkeep of our life.


Fast forward to now. Changes happened for a bit but rapidly went back to square one. They also worsened pretty dramatically. Unfortunately it's to the point that her parents apologize to me for how she behaves and we openly argue regularly about things that are entirely inconsequential. The shopping budget is only loosely adhered to at best as well which causes additional tension since I feel that I'm unable to comment on it without creating a fight.


The fighting got so bad that we started talking about wanting out. She's been out drinking with co-workers quite frequently compared to her historical normal as well. This by itself isn't concerning but she would routinely tell me that she would be home in an hour and then show up 3-4 hours later after driving 20 miles home from where she was hanging out. She's never done this in the past but I don't think there is an infidelity concern.


Since she's asked me to sleep in the spare room things have been awkward. We ended up having a huge blowout argument where I said I was sick of being walked on and used and wanted a divorce. 


Since then she made a complete 180 and started trying to improve things. She started stepping up around the house at what appears to be an unsustainable rate. She kept telling me that she had changed and that things would be better. She couldn't understand why I was skeptical. She insisted that I needed to ""move passed this"". I posed the question ""why is it different this time?"" in reference to why is she ready to make strides now but didn't want to in 2016.


We went for a walk at her insistence to discuss things further and that's where things kinda fell off track. I hammered her on why this time was different. She kept avoiding the question and just telling me to believe her. Finally she ended up getting very quiet before saying the following... ""This is going to sound really bad but... I'm ready to change this time because there were no consequences last time and this time there are. I didn't really feel like changing anything in 2016 because I knew you'd always be here for me.. now I'm not so sure.""


This really hit me hard. I should mention that before we married, we had split up for a period of time. in 2013 we had been doing long distance for about a year and a half. She told me that she was up for a new job at work but would be turning it down because it wasn't in the geographic location that I had moved to a year and a half earlier at her urging. She said at this point it was more important for us to be in the same place than to get this new job. At the time I moved here, she said she would be able to transition in no more than 6 months.

Long story short, she ended up taking that job without discussing it with me. It upset me but it was a good opportunity. I ended up leaving her when she admitted she didn't think she would get the job but had always planned to accept it if she did because she thought i'd always be there regardless. She said she told me that it was more important to get to me because she said it was easier to tell me what I wanted to hear since she didn't think she would get the job anyway. When she did get the job, she notified me via text message.

Her comments during our walk brought back flashbacks to this. It seemed like she always wanted to take the easy way out of the conversations.

Anyway, to wrap up.... She's flip flopped a few times on what to do next. She asked me to move out Thursday night, told me I needed to hurry up and get on with it Friday night, and then Saturday morning asked me not to leave. I was literally on my way to sign a lease when i received her message. 

 I'm really unhappy and don't know if I want to be with someone who clearly puts themselves first in every circumstance. Just don't know what to do.


Not sure if I'm really looking for advice.. just mostly to vent. Sorry for the wall of text.
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divorce,GoldieF50,2018/02/19,"Coping I know it's probably my been said many times before but I find the hardest part of divorce is not having my wife around. We had a good realtionship and travelled extensively together. The one major issue that I could never get around was her 25 year old son. He always tried to work us against each other, he was lazy and good for nothing. The final straw was him knocking up his girlfriend and asking to move I to our basement where he still continued to do nothing. I called him out on day and that was it. His mother sided with him and we have decided it's time. Sucks but I knew it would happen eventually. This kid just refused to grow up and take responsibility for anything. 

",3.092001156738,5.533960721804515,4.192481203007522,83.22670908039332,77.1203007518797,6.498322729901678,24.51648351648352,7.61054688173877,1.3445319838056689,548,19,102,8,13,178,96,133,0.068,0.875,0.057,-0.1531,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,4,0,0,1,5,3,1,0,4,0,12,0,0,0,1,25,20,8,0,2,4,3,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,8,13,0,1,4,1,0,3,2,1,0,1,8,1,18,2,16,10,3,20,0,0,0,0,23,8,1,0,9,74,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14554281186658846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1439396662844809,0.31142184059497763,0.16352137360063018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14883929074142546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786071822771929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13965493368461776,0.0,0.0,0.1128053323927525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1916102004210149,0.15986861359145596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913855665831205,0.0,0.0,0.29341983816148604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15467624641268238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18256521320285352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09612839236005352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17733577080853416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18590634992893196,0.0,0.0,0.1349047859905942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3356702122771761,0.0,0.183543262948994,0.0,0.11852653970582705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894152745994664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18858733181337986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16638367107655436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13968688398918885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315138775723292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.203988013111022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187554113926356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040051397593684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12733978301450646,0.0,0.0,0.1242541874126572,0.0,0.0,0.11263915348449975
divorce,hoo_goz_there,2018/02/19,"How do you move on? I should be over this. We separated April 2016, divorce was final January this year. He basically left me for a chick with a bunch of kids. I assume he's happy with his decision.

I feel like he was my one and only, how in the world do I get over him? I've dated.. it sucks, I'm not good at it.. people jump straight into wanting sex or a commitment from me.. I'm not super into either of those right now.

My life should be great. I've focused on me, I'm amazing.. I have a beautiful house, great job that I love and pays well, I look the best I've ever looked.. but I feel so empty.

Advice?
Empty sex? Forget dating completely? Help!",-1.0142577030812348,1.074734352941178,1.8592436974789912,93.26754901960787,98.85294117647058,4.6492997198879555,15.299719887955186,6.42735559955562,-0.27262212885154025,496,12,109,7,21,172,92,136,0.096,0.701,0.203,0.9212,1,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,1,1,0,2,6,11,1,0,6,0,9,4,0,2,2,24,20,7,0,3,5,0,2,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,6,7,0,0,4,0,1,2,2,1,1,1,2,4,17,10,14,14,3,21,0,0,2,3,12,12,1,2,8,68,23,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18825019023440093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216874780022284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20198432309632267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1742581778368421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19481391693332087,0.13762542604834885,0.0,0.21103287372889776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10064891478117946,0.0,0.0,0.16158125068558524,0.0,0.4247829665199176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20507388604026605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129125694653136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222861412395258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1911701584599256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093090513244218,0.0,0.13607066250998245,0.09411647904965602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3235460910066188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17386938063167598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20475084929585904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305410475658564,0.14651499002506094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13355559221593075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645175377947637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136268467685241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321073846240506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405688320347548
divorce,totallywingingit,2018/02/19,"Update from a couple months ago: “It’s time, I’m done.” I have no idea how to add a link here except for copying and pasting, so here is my old post https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/7lixme/its_time_im_done/?st=JDUAOZDF&sh=0959dd96

Don’t hate on my lack of Reddit skills!

Anyway...today is the day. My parents are coming from TX to AR to help me load up my things. We were going to wait until next week, but I’m afraid if I do that I’ll lose my nerve. Again.

Things have been okay on the husband front. He hasn’t done anything particularly stupid or disrespectful, BUT I have no love left to give anymore. Even though he hasn’t done anything dumb (that I know of) I also don’t see him trying to better himself. He needs counseling and refuses to get it.

I haven’t told him I’m leaving. I’m not sure how I’ll do that. Part of me wants him to walk into an empty house tonight, part of me wants to call him, part of me wants to stop by his work so he can see our daughter. I really don’t know what to do. Shit will hit the fan, that’s for sure.

I’m prepared for it to be a hell of a time in court. He might put up a fight. A couple weeks ago he told me he can make it so I never see our daughter again if I leave because I suffer from postpartum depression (am medicated, and I function just fine). So naturally I’m terrified of that now.

Sorry for my jumble of thoughts and my messy post. You guys really helped me last time and I hope I can get some encouragement again. Parents will be here in 3 hours. I’m currently sick to my stomach and crying. But I have to do this.",2.3784639498432583,4.365290420062698,3.5702194357366785,89.05808777429468,77.40125391849529,6.155485893416928,20.404388714733546,7.0983637204850245,0.2757047021943575,1240,30,269,14,29,402,165,319,0.21600000000000005,0.703,0.081,-0.9939,3,0,0,0,2,0,56.0,3,1,0,4,17,18,6,1,10,1,31,5,2,3,3,41,61,21,0,8,9,5,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,13,10,0,3,5,0,0,5,10,10,0,0,8,3,38,8,39,47,5,39,1,3,3,1,33,8,3,6,24,169,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041937928246673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687173851773824,0.0,0.10415222482988454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09533092784717656,0.0,0.0,0.15820662619164622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05859737335673393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501542643315943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815515226297852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280383388812093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272265843024335,0.10558963772847844,0.061993165313489224,0.0,0.08279297943772122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951100913141636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349016035350327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004434881984045,0.09221259163488477,0.05463048674126696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09517961895401188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490429069533668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886214635498786,0.0,0.0,0.09547457284453748,0.09466451420380413,0.11091622524099083,0.0,0.10851428677189838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056564116694119,0.07835532716671649,0.0,0.20356660863015266,0.10444092354215363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10754014158476734,0.0,0.0,0.0867572547578391,0.0,0.0641646937120018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683659400482307,0.0,0.1019742446786217,0.0,0.0,0.07672666750815982,0.0,0.0,0.07127603579337675,0.0741381149463561,0.0,0.10223084023941402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086781893038636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21347256978814205,0.3122845041649584,0.09176291832778484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841238200571804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09663294265286317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316125135999112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22979936472117704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986717150944123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10760492255254124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036544269683629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119478940914988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12772337222636782,0.0,0.09444307479790713,0.07631311904181312,0.16815511754443796,0.0,0.09111598431618692,0.1837045732274559,0.0,0.06526308370514651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17009239792444816,0.0,0.15421257887927164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998070084060434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ebarz,2018/02/19,"Advice for cousin. 2 kids. Not married. Hello all,

I'm not sure if I can get advice her since the advice I need for my cousin isn't in a ""married"" situation.

If anybody can help, please let me know.

So here's the story...

My cousin, who is a woman, lives with her boyfriend at her boyfriend's parents house. They have two kids together (4yrs and 5 months). She's been with the guy for over 6 years(?), but the ""butterfly"" feelings seem to have left the boyfriend. He has been partying ever weekend night at clubs and spends money he doesn't have. For several years, she's been staying up late at night waiting for him to arrive home. The boyfriend has received a DUI, once or twice, and I believe a warrant out for him due to not paying his dues. He's having difficulty finding a stable job, but is currently working at a place ""under the table."" My cousin has been paying all their bills, rent, and their kid's necessities. 

At this point, she's fed up with his morals and zero effort to the family. She wants to move on, but not sure how. She said she would leave him, but she's not sure how this would work with the kids.

She's low on money since she pays for everything. My idea was to get a written letter by an attorney with 100% custody agreement for her kids. Then some how get him to sign it, as he as said many times, "" I would let her have my kids. They're mine too!"" 

If he won't sign a agreement letter, what could be be done? She has these text messages and pictures of him going out and stuff, but not sure if this evidence helps.

Can I get some advice on how my cousin can be freed from all of this stress? 



Tl;dr: cousin has two kids with her boyfriend and lives with him at his parents house. He's a Trainwreck and puts zero effort into the family. How can she leave him with full custody of the kids if he doesn't agree to anything?


",3.6508248248248236,4.796736735135138,4.042012012012012,90.49114614614618,72.18918918918921,6.886886886886888,24.24424424424425,7.0931098945946705,0.7411781781781781,1432,39,308,13,27,448,170,370,0.065,0.863,0.07200000000000001,0.7432,5,0,0,0,0,0,63.0,0,0,3,4,9,9,0,1,21,0,36,1,0,5,8,66,52,29,0,11,17,8,1,0,0,4,0,2,2,10,9,20,1,1,5,2,8,4,10,2,0,5,10,3,43,7,48,32,6,40,1,1,0,0,65,22,0,9,13,204,52,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36699626220328535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726418096943037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10578285153134906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07496421485482825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608295198112947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08492966175073458,0.0,0.0,0.08438305435525004,0.0,0.17702390082358846,0.0,0.047474041892525055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581454862796188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962164047405028,0.0,0.053360341670040584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929667167613554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12586613387507706,0.0,0.09418019188457012,0.0,0.0,0.2166749018232596,0.0,0.10599135690759502,0.0,0.0,0.0931721948225442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0515999633410875,0.0,0.10591298407710034,0.1988337361986401,0.10201269834804803,0.1920195392763119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658147059677098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09519059924054643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494279179369548,0.09979112940199944,0.0,0.06961888589485453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17622043085674505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09999070578693643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20850938625213267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980959691235396,0.1030639736646724,0.0887572145944586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438625104987733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17862342472032133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08547471620010673,0.0,0.1060699512348434,0.0,0.1553349857185932,0.10553726489631612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007516834018984,0.0,0.0,0.10755166737305796,0.0,0.10748257597284476,0.0,0.0,0.35396411229116065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054748517790275834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18343546230789987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055379264156479716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367073343076329,0.0,0.0,0.20009212756170214,0.0,0.0,0.12092527603710525
divorce,IrrelevantPancake,2018/02/19,First time having sex after divorce? Has anyone else had anxiety surrounding the idea of getting back out into the dating scene and eventually being intimate with someone new?  My ex was alcoholic/abusive and told me I was overweight/unattractive.  (I'm not.)  As a result I'm having a hard time imagining ever being healthy enough mentally to be intimate again.  I'd love some advice or even just encouragement. ,6.288333333333334,8.846235611111117,6.953888888888893,66.58000000000001,67.8888888888889,9.8,34.22222222222222,10.125756701596842,4.343205555555556,332,16,46,9,6,109,60,72,0.043,0.818,0.139,0.8385,0,0,1,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,4,0,9,2,0,1,1,13,14,4,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,3,2,7,7,2,12,0,0,0,2,5,3,0,2,9,35,3,0,0.0,0.28803312754247257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23755399475193764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597043400764932,0.0,0.0,0.16998080620136036,0.24908414167743964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18692849167038916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20307841863867507,0.0,0.0,0.2511867436455272,0.0,0.1605649113968705,0.21989739405729816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067802903874642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700944282683269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177693811973392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744297186180135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2194067686341812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449870945437725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347869890979884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20597739741534854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835065192162303,0.0,0.0,0.23229196744215505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BioHazarD26,2018/02/20,"I keep having breakdowns the more I find out. So my stbx (26,M) and I (23,F) are divorcing. He decided he wanted to leave and couldn’t tell me straight out, I had to bring it out of him. It hurts but even worse I found out he’s been cheating on me and is now moving in with the new girl who apparently understands him more. It feels like I’m dying, I hate him but I can’t stop reliving everything I stuck through for him. I need to figure out how to file the papers and change everything over. I feel so lost, he was my first relationship I’ve ever had, we’ve been together for 10 years.. ",1.7586512667660197,3.5568339262295083,3.3403725782414315,90.86789120715349,78.59016393442623,7.387183308494784,21.746646795827125,8.296473431620573,1.0013672131147549,457,13,104,9,11,151,80,122,0.208,0.752,0.04,-0.97,1,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,5,2,0,3,0,10,0,0,1,1,26,22,9,1,3,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,10,0,2,7,0,0,2,2,4,0,1,8,2,18,1,17,13,2,17,0,2,0,0,13,9,0,0,7,67,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21350088628888356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20945934389686166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330150942190466,0.18255952867142133,0.0,0.0,0.3627691506923053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20409450675698054,0.14418165749509038,0.0,0.0,0.18446162657107235,0.17166966672574002,0.0,0.22128737576921387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992574145326685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21605459576527716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17938864233634552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2137003281076149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.098600021352262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22031252393350506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21450481697061816,0.0,0.14964843534755012,0.0,0.1949209186932988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21668126872304652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16873220601744385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17640129964706458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21010379102872434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11903982842001172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20567383213259866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299667333103709
divorce,lagracemaladroite,2018/02/20,"I know I did things wrong, but I also feel like he didn't even try... I'm not sure what to think. I've been separated for about 3 months (has it only been that long?) from my high school sweetheart, who I was married to for 8 years. I don't even know where to begin. It started out like we were meant to be together - first the high school romance and the tragic breakup because our parents didn't want us to be together, then the blissful college reunion and the perfect wedding. I knew he wasn't perfect - he was inherently lazy and I was a go-getter, he wasn't the best with hygiene or taking care of himself, and he was sick a lot. But we were meant to be, born only a few weeks apart at the same hospital in a major metropolitan area, met the first day of high school. A perfect love story, and our friends looked on with envy.

Fast forward about 5 years and we've got the house, the dog, and jobs we love. We've traveled 4 continents together. We're ready to have kids. Then bam, we find out we can't have kids. No one can tell us why, but we're staring infertility in the face. We try some treatments but no luck. But that's ok, we're in this together. Right?

All of a sudden STBX starts feeling sick. Really, really sick. Can't get out of bed, sleeps 14 hours a day and still feels exhausted. Constant pain, doesn't want to eat much, loses weight. He never was healthy but this is different. We check for everything. Our amazing insurance pays for everything and we look for Lyme disease, genetic illnesses, cancer, maybe something he picked up while traveling for work, arthritis, food allergies, lupus... we put everything else on hold, his job, our plans for kids, our plans for travel, everything. We are barely making it financially but I'm mostly concerned with being prepared for him to die. Years pass, and I assume no one will find out what's going on until it's too late. I work myself to the bone and try to be patient in everything and give him the best possible few years left that I can. He stays at home, doesn't shower much and just plays video games and chats with people online. It seems odd to me that he's not fighting this, but I dismiss that as being all he can do. We get him on anti-depressants but they don't do anything. His hygiene plummets, and I beg him to try cologne or something, with no luck. One day he asks if we can open up our marriage. Why not, I figure. He can't get up at 7 am like I have to for work, so we are way time-shifted from each other, and I could use some support, someone who can go out grocery shopping or to a movie with me. STBX can barely stand up to cook a meal. Besides, he's always been a flirt, and I can give him this last gift of even more love and joy than I could give if he's going to pass away soon.

Things start to get weird after that. All of a sudden STBX meets people and can drive an hour each way to go on a date... but then he comes home too exhausted to do the dishes. I find myself cleaning up after his partners. Eventually he doesn't want to spend time with me - when he's home he just wants to play video games or chat with people on his phone. Meanwhile I'm still working myself to the bone trying to figure out why he's sick so we can finally get back to that dream life I thought we were building. I love this man to death, he's my soul mate, we can fix this, right? I just need to think a little harder, see what I might have missed... surely there's a treatment for this that I'm missing... never mind that he hasn't been that sick lately, and has been ignoring or lying about any advice his doctors give him about healthy habits like setting a sleep schedule and eating good meals...

And then I did find what was missing. After 2 1/2 years of desperate searching I run out of ideas and we try a therapist, and it immediately becomes clear that STBX has dependent personality disorder. This means, in a nutshell, that he thinks he is sick and incompetent and unable to do adult-like tasks. And I slowly realize that if he just ate right, slept normal hours, and exercised once in a while, he really would have a lot more energy. Maybe he's not sick after all, maybe he just needs therapy. 

Boy does it go downhill from there. To him, not only is the diagnosis completely wrong, but I've betrayed him. The grumpiness that I always assumed was from pain suddenly rears its ugly head and we've got curse words flying, doors slamming, him banging on my door late at night when I just want to go to sleep so I can get up for work the next day and continue to support us. And he's got energy for these fights. What happened?!

It didn't take long after that for me to get the courage to leave. It absolutely broke my heart. Clearly we brought out some pretty awful sides of each other. But what happened to that perfect life? What happened to the man I married? Why didn't he stand by me? Why did he want other women? Was this his plan all along, to take advantage of my caring nature? I feel I will be asking myself these questions for years.

I did some things wrong too. I've learned that I should have set some boundaries early on, and that in my mind I probably did classify him as less adult than me from the beginning since he was so lazy. I shouldn't have done that. It doesn't excuse him, but I encouraged his lazy behavior because I picked up after his messes and felt sorry for him every time. And now I'm left with trying to reconcile what we started out with with what happened. Every time we have to talk to settle something or other he is so cold and distant, and I want to cry. I want to scream, where did you go? When did it all go wrong? Did you ever really love me? Was it because we couldn't have kids? Is this all mental health? 

But now, I am also free. I will travel the world and look to have children with someone else. STBX would not have been a good father. It hurts to say it but it is very true. I will enjoy my job and be better at it now that I'm not so distracted. I already laugh more, because there is a lot less pain and tragedy in my life. Even relative strangers tell me I look so much happier than I used to, like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. I have great hope for my future. I just wish that I hadn't lost that perfect life. But in the end, I probably never had it. That might be the hardest thing of all to understand - my soul mate wasn't what, or who, I thought.
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divorce,thrae_awa,2018/02/20,"Depression every time she contacts me Every time she texts me it sends me into a tailspin of depression. I end up stuck inside, reliving the hurt. I feel like I should be coping better by now (we separated last April) but I'm not. All I can think of still is the happy future she threw away. I tried a session of CBT but it hasn't worked. Any advice would be much appreciated. ",1.262666666666668,3.7761363333333335,3.3933333333333344,85.57666666666667,85.66666666666666,6.0,19.0,7.3871296695380915,0.6630000000000007,295,8,58,5,9,100,56,75,0.106,0.7290000000000001,0.166,0.7783,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,1,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,4,0,7,0,0,0,1,10,12,2,0,2,3,0,1,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,2,1,12,3,7,6,2,13,0,3,0,0,6,3,0,0,9,39,14,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229902331260408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999111810433536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2210431502234928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20807648114177693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4052740201965322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20837867228169146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3964488822280038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895917238960994,0.16807635758468564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504484294150409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518605357057708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19177579222497285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494064317595147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294992634557824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878862804293926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075099831036584,0.0,0.0,0.2743747153711182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1597323377129059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127877362582794,0.0,0.0,0.16712848360586,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,LetUsRebuild,2018/02/20,"Divorce’s effect on entrepreneurs? I remember coming to the sub years ago to help me cope with my own parents divorce… I’m thankful it’s still here and supporting other people.

I have a niche divorce question... for those people who run their own business, or entrepreneurs, do their own thing: how has divorce affected you? 

How do you had to blow up everything, restart after the divorce from zero? Or have you been able to protect your livelihood despite what’s going on?

",5.469717607973422,7.703295639534888,5.1177076411960165,80.2533720930233,69.34883720930233,6.774750830564784,34.37873754152824,7.447530270364453,2.663241196013289,379,19,60,4,7,116,62,86,0.018000000000000002,0.818,0.16399999999999998,0.9195,1,0,0,0,5,0,12.0,0,4,2,1,4,2,0,0,3,0,7,0,0,4,0,11,12,5,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,0,10,2,11,10,3,10,0,0,0,0,14,3,0,3,4,48,16,0,0.2728676578761601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24188071481484694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350513259066793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24523585629094355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550769782086652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18289743927102006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30298724236129443,0.0,0.0,0.3783441534581525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3056742255184745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3091058640027882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21791246405742445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096469845298249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512198784463492,0.0,0.0,0.18128114714859234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175717825354666
divorce,Oddmouse1234,2018/02/20,"Uncontested Divorce in Ohio Does anyone have any advice for me?
Nothings been signed, the wife and I just agreed to it last night. No lawyers contacted or legal anything done.

We do have a house and one child.",2.5176923076923075,5.433013076923082,2.580205128205129,90.45646153846157,84.8974358974359,5.171282051282052,23.18461538461539,6.742157984588678,0.8176215384615384,166,6,31,2,5,50,37,39,0.055,0.8540000000000001,0.09,0.1027,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,5,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,3,0,3,3,0,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,2,20,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321989324883066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311802509808812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377036110150829,0.0,0.2797530229167368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2974958734726449,0.3478907810867693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3922610581947836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771077313786532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3190236252641382,0.0,0.3261948530645136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303615023883153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chcemto,2018/02/20,"Pain randomly pops up in new relationships - is this normal? We've been separated (and now divorced) for a year and a half. The end of my marriage was miserable, we've been essentially together out of ""obligation"" for quite a while, so there was no sudden big drama because of cheating or something. It was a long time coming.

Over the last year and a half, I was dating more or less casually, but as time passed, I noticed a weird ""pain"" to appear on my inside and I can't really assign it to anything, just general pain.

I recently started dating somebody who I truly like a lot. But I noticed 2 things:

- I am critical. Maybe as a result of my past negative experiences, I realize I am much more cautious, critical and even anxious than I used to be earlier in my life.

- I notice a weird pain popping up. I never think of my ex otherwise, never tried to restart the relationship with her. But I get something like ""flashbacks"" of the past of our family life as I progress deeper in this relationship and I feel a certain sadness come back as I reopen these areas.

This is completely freaking me out, because I wonder whether something is wrong with me, whether I'm not ready or something. In my marriage, I was a super-loyal person, I avoided situations which might be any threat to my fidelity like the plague, never even came close to flirting or anything like that. After we split up, I had casual relationships, had sex, even had a FWB for half a year and never felt any kind of regret or bad conscience towards my ex. I was on Tinder, chatted with women, met 2 of them, never thought about her or anything. 

My thinking is that maybe I feel some emotional obligation to my ex, or that I just relive some of my past trauma as I progress into something new. But I'm also worried that this isn't the case and that I'm a bad person.

I just don't understand what's happening and where the sadness is coming from. I did talk to my therapist and in her opinion, I shouldn't hold back in looking for a new relationship, but I'd like to hear the experience of people who've been there before and maybe have experienced something similar.

Thanks!",7.255142667551423,6.764325751824818,7.917320283123202,71.57368447246185,63.98783454987834,10.879053306790533,36.68668436186685,10.33465798735191,3.812955231143553,1688,74,304,35,22,565,197,411,0.188,0.706,0.107,-0.9891,0,1,6,0,1,0,56.0,2,0,1,3,15,29,2,2,23,0,28,7,0,2,6,71,52,33,0,3,18,3,3,5,0,2,6,1,0,3,16,23,0,2,9,4,0,6,12,18,0,3,17,6,47,11,52,31,7,55,0,4,1,1,25,20,0,15,34,224,63,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05648251706711632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960611875119541,0.0,0.0,0.07979141678678628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17436658718090353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861970436041657,0.11794563906720255,0.08611037566026132,0.0,0.06010064224574981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08078152006515453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182523605592551,0.07405385929090487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794488659067564,0.06255691862372571,0.0,0.0,0.13995068154728446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1381787290189392,0.06658336167499664,0.0,0.07142496096397705,0.0,0.06781555399151007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0369010844937373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06245757893131864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960476493604107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0735499266404356,0.0,0.05757260326527298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997756414029134,0.17253043180917815,0.0,0.0,0.06250503036849564,0.059311129522909636,0.0,0.0,0.060046814894153415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128709733509873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07492691236763786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0519209300544636,0.0,0.2723697566573909,0.20464370986685412,0.0,0.0,0.06920207497049964,0.0,0.2412370229962224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30061977054243594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20227201962063826,0.048965716159840265,0.1233421972037405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07512334201906361,0.0,0.0,0.04524717156190562,0.0,0.06973827272463443,0.3791491355178104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939070200225742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32624499764330617,0.0,0.0,0.049992039959549074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05676944880463272,0.0,0.06502630554365949,0.0,0.08200648409737565,0.04692321060216948,0.09051327403601613,0.0,0.056072064088019416,0.08236945054854833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04795290584429776,0.0,0.0,0.07352797148273546,0.0,0.06100135272615589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07659485813352614,0.0,0.07172785259827387,0.0,0.0,0.07722245034202772,0.0,0.13644956448086312
divorce,deporig,2018/02/20,"How do you live with yourself? How do you get the balls to do it? I have been married for 5 years. I know my husband intimately. I know his strengths, his weaknesses, his deep love for his children, his generosity, his energy, his spontaneity. I love our home, our friends, and the future I always imagined we would have together. I married for stability and now I am contemplating complete upheaval. Beginning again, yet again. 

Because I am extremely lonely and unhappy in my marriage. Because I cannot be my usual happy, loving, passionate, care giving self. Because he is so completely incapable of dealing with conflict or intimacy that he avoids it (and me) if there is even a whiff of discomfort involved. Or he lies. Or he says one thing and does another. Or he gaslights. He distances. Constantly. 

And yet I cannot imagine ripping him from my life. From my parents lives. From my cousins lives. How do you tell your friends, your coworkers, your children? How do you start? How do you make the first move in an intensely painful and complicated process, when you know that once you begin there is no stopping it? How do you walk around with your head up? 

I know in my mind that it is the right decision, but I cannot make my heart cooperate. ",3.2796521739130418,6.087594617391307,4.004956521739132,82.73526086956524,78.91304347826087,7.68,30.93913043478261,8.608573733854374,2.887109565217392,982,50,178,23,25,312,130,230,0.083,0.805,0.113,0.8422,1,3,0,0,0,0,41.0,3,12,0,2,17,14,0,2,6,0,21,9,2,8,0,38,36,21,0,2,6,3,0,0,2,1,3,1,1,3,8,12,0,3,7,1,0,2,4,5,0,2,1,2,44,9,17,33,0,24,0,1,0,4,46,7,0,5,15,128,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109016080740038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13738204386663316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11663230936349342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23959901325550384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1335798785990618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747362553051156,0.14158210661260606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350720816875904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465327189891475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0865350492733018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11144242201958222,0.0,0.0,0.20244578066585067,0.0,0.06845062409699551,0.12568280055231126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13946931783587632,0.0,0.0,0.13446055116485633,0.0,0.0,0.1552549799901127,0.0,0.0,0.13142005981812585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28801259089427783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09254070737225292,0.0,0.0,0.34706945496102026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35474205483897875,0.0,0.17490883315017544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13228914314165466,0.0,0.0,0.13924962280181666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13952811385096262,0.08878005486284027,0.0,0.13941061077092246,0.0,0.14547812796708373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11188722860485724,0.0,0.10418944296551656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13667860413573976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09273403158906718,0.0,0.0,0.10953551707729632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11451404581263368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08704142695042938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14429597590102478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930702406635011,0.0,0.0,0.08437021995982681
divorce,stardust_moonshine,2018/02/20,"Struggling and need to get it all out I (34M) have been married almost 5 years and we have a 2 year old. For the last couple of months I have been really conflicted because I think I have realized that I am not married to the right person. 
For background, I have always been really shy and never really dated, and always had this core belief that something is wrong with me and that I am a bad person - (this factors in to my story). 
But after about 3 months and the newness wore off, I just was not that interested. And by that I mean physical and emotional chemistry. We get along as friends but I never was passionate about her - never thought of her when we weren't together, ETc. I always fought her trying to bring us closer, wanting to spend more time together, have me give up interests/friends/activities. But I always eventually gave in because I thought either something was wrong with me for not wanting to go along with her, or fear of hurting her.
We got married and I remember not being excited. She say things like looking forward to growing old together and I wouldn't feel the same way but would feel bad about not feeling the same way and so would lie. 
Sounds terrible but I hoped having a kid would help. It kind of does in that we are a pretty good team and good co parents and our kid is great. But now that I am looking back at our relationship I think ""oh god I can't live my entire life like this"".
",4.435645161290324,5.660872232974911,5.2454820788530485,82.30155645161294,70.39784946236558,8.304014336917563,28.645340501792113,8.697196308434329,2.137834265232976,1119,41,217,19,20,364,147,279,0.136,0.7340000000000001,0.13,0.0133,1,0,2,0,0,0,30.0,8,0,0,1,8,20,1,2,9,0,27,2,0,0,4,65,50,23,0,8,14,1,3,2,1,4,1,2,0,4,13,24,0,1,11,1,1,4,11,9,0,0,14,7,38,11,32,31,6,32,1,1,2,1,27,10,0,3,20,158,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10274048769329926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3414903571629214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0788941482580333,0.1713357772376223,0.12508972996931375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11352650459005513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08978718209477499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11541277234528108,0.0,0.0,0.11442768951067098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11545510700593314,0.15563506159762028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07926959201386588,0.0,0.10721000017717076,0.09842461808958172,0.05831074366554297,0.17211438347140884,0.08205971745594258,0.11311841268947115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877155991565964,0.0,0.0,0.1019063470929991,0.0,0.0,0.10983692752500722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10684357595899728,0.0,0.08363384018317463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247040757229717,0.10025172906757562,0.0,0.0905989215309793,0.0,0.17231868097910566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11176301012223168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16379092731019276,0.0,0.0,0.07607764273321338,0.23739758920459916,0.09909307757972016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532583305025696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11392671966748436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917518096669882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10438251610519532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718726445526255,0.0,0.0,0.11015551288997294,0.11622739241881642,0.08762104039805536,0.0,0.0815927564295403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797515048225766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10726126704585008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06816381531856862,0.13148567662129965,0.0,0.16290811186948007,0.0598277051274879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06965961996232832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12341685883251635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12103393552398985,0.1628804412788298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21865528582802016,0.2243570623583009,0.0,0.13214388350971945
divorce,120384920210,2018/02/20,"My luck has changed?... Somewhat? My husband and I are getting a divorce. I asked for the divorce and it has been very hard to deattach myself from him and his abusive behavior. I really can't afford an attorney but there was an attorney office in a city nearby that had a contest for a free divorce for Valentine's day. Well, I won. I'm not going to go into details of what it covers but it sure does give me a breath of relief! I've never won anything before and find it quite humorous that I finally did and it was a free divorce.",2.799444444444444,4.49079042592593,4.714074074074077,82.63833333333334,75.2962962962963,7.022222222222222,29.592592592592588,7.793537801064563,2.0962148148148145,418,19,79,6,9,143,73,108,0.033,0.677,0.29100000000000004,0.9875,1,0,0,0,4,0,12.0,0,0,0,3,2,9,0,0,9,0,9,1,1,0,2,14,17,7,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,3,0,1,0,7,1,11,11,10,10,1,7,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,2,3,59,19,0,0.0,0.2979183626777103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069158340267635,0.0,0.2350648870680644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21395913145197026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26599292880458913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16215967451655286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200391121329688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2754430759189848,0.2298139794947197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1313683796527839,0.241206651898238,0.2858012461163065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252431796341995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1939280326819503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26744015387464226,0.0,0.0,0.1610805669672896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2369816731094523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20746647672017224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260770928304452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,boycart,2018/02/20,"Terrified of my stepdad I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. I’m 16, 17 in March, and I feel like a hostage in my own house. My father is out of the picture so I live with my mom and my step father, and he’s a monster. He’s been to prison i think more than once, has a history with drugs, and drinks and smokes marijuana along with other drugs i think, not sure. He’s a very violent and aggressive person. He’s never hit me, but that’s probably only because I hide from him as much as I can. He’s extremely sensitive so anything can make him start screaming. My mother is I guess completely mad because she always defends him and thinks we’re the worst children in the world because we don’t come out from our hiding to thank him for buying us food. (They dated in high school and my mom cheated on my dad with him. I guess their history makes her think it has to work?) Drugs have ruined him, he’s always sleeping and my mom never wants us to make any noise so I guess she’s afraid of him too and wants him sleeping as much as possible.
I don’t know what to do. My mom thinks I’m a horrible person and for some reason doesn’t understand why I don’t like him and try to stay away from him. I’m locked in my room and I hear him going and i guess just punching walls right now. How the hell did I get here? What do I do?",1.831290520817333,3.1531867703180225,3.427070210477801,92.40757105546169,77.0565371024735,6.759194960823478,22.198340758949147,7.423996415210882,0.5928169918574282,1028,28,239,13,23,341,141,283,0.179,0.792,0.029,-0.9922,0,0,5,0,1,0,26.0,4,0,2,2,9,14,5,1,9,0,18,7,2,5,3,50,48,24,0,2,3,8,1,2,0,0,3,2,1,3,6,23,2,0,10,1,1,3,8,10,0,0,3,3,48,4,34,44,6,24,1,2,0,0,38,14,1,5,8,148,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064721845270854,0.0,0.0,0.06155974252690661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744939240649166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08505071766684423,0.0,0.0,0.16554862661513214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07797881368727852,0.09491318250681782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08867951571684117,0.3149389301518702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0457718910292424,0.06467069810104144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946254615800363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047295298324631016,0.0,0.051447141360609634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3988916297407077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10202765467099367,0.0,0.0,0.09564407068990964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445308214411372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949976050103444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845136509608384,0.0,0.07993476382084602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0988181504548686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181277356180024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4240846518436064,0.0,0.0,0.1330917998702674,0.0,0.13963610091627204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09640560413157737,0.0,0.06884793718174645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15808494771356693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10205273623583253,0.0,0.0,0.09760068741541762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09307423003964024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730740114340583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09161559459180367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1811796875842083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407368445079227,0.09648703833497466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531823987481314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334276788417788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2900221197156814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061460171660372515,0.0,0.0,0.09423916381295318,0.21777957829033448,0.0,0.0,0.07469216667492579,0.10678735339150187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08168425228343054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06590289092082155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,into-the-wild-13,2018/02/20,"On the verge Male. 40. Married 5 years. 2 kids under 3yrs of age. Ready to get a divorce.  Was hoping to get some feedback regarding mediation. I plan to find three mediation firms and then send them to my STBX for her opinion so we can get this ball rolling.  But is mediation right?  I have a lot of assets, she has nothing but what i have made. I came into the relationship with 5 real estate properties. Just before we married i bought a rental in her name making it 6. In other words, only she is on the deed but i fronted all the down payment money.  We/I bought another primary residence 2 years ago for our family. 7 properties altogether. Other than real estate, only debt is 15k in student loans and about 5k on a car.  Should i pay off my student loans  before divorce or does it matter?  I work two jobs, she works none.  Basically, i feel like i will shoulder the cost of everything, so I'm just trying to figure out the way to minimize my losses. Mediation seems doable for us.  I figured we could sell the property in her name and she can keep all the proceeds, like 100k and we call it even.  She can keep the ring, 11k. Im happy to put my kids on my health insurance.  Will mediation still expect alimony? Should i be doing pre divorce maneuvers before proceeding? Are there divorce consultants? ",1.8935723771580333,4.557082932270919,3.892123505976098,82.05996480743693,84.2191235059761,7.0120053120849954,23.904515272244357,8.131152278815165,1.8630301726427625,1020,39,188,23,30,345,152,251,0.06,0.893,0.046,-0.6694,3,0,0,0,4,0,34.0,6,0,1,4,8,5,0,0,13,0,18,2,1,2,2,43,32,11,0,5,6,0,1,2,0,4,1,1,0,3,7,12,0,2,5,1,9,5,1,1,0,2,5,2,32,4,29,21,5,29,0,1,0,0,28,15,0,6,10,122,39,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12539525124794113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483325484722775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36111467282412574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14444589613127892,0.16179190492553494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11294384575152028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379210217574538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934326206657966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713461607778948,0.0,0.13335536287327668,0.0,0.07152613917312596,0.10105864644838697,0.0,0.0,0.12929135804653347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22172014400983744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505861957358038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036476121917544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050113431979105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15280046106394216,0.0,0.1403766586596919,0.251471285566851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382198661155072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12026375040479972,0.0,0.1338523348549124,0.0944252692755987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1357341401358212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21517254480476453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422058004647401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32202360593486395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15187449019731195,0.0,0.12080558196215398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877935400050475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11296968508405213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604166865152082,0.0,0.138185310153541,0.0,0.17015827919265422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228391268553224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20596830246329645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18219047248935694
divorce,faith_13,2018/02/20,"Speechless till this day.  It’s been exactly 10 days since I found out my husband cheated on me with his coworker. I moved back to California and I try to smile and laugh with my family, but my throat feels clogged up. Once I hit the bed I start to cry. I have nightmares I sleep very little because it replays in my head. I already made up my mind about the divorce. I haven’t had any contact with him he tried a few time but he got the point and left me alone. I want this nightmare to end. It doesn’t fit my head where I went wrong? 
I was super devoted to him. I just wish I can move on and not care but I still love him so much but I wouldn’t dare give him another chance. 

I hope now that he’s lonely he’s thinking about how much he messed up. ",0.08819444444444713,2.185086875,1.6679166666666667,98.93652777777781,86.5,5.055555555555556,19.51388888888889,6.42735559955562,-0.14634027777777806,580,17,140,6,18,187,103,160,0.13,0.68,0.19,0.8912,0,3,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,1,9,10,1,0,4,0,8,5,4,2,1,25,22,11,0,4,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,8,0,0,3,0,0,3,4,4,0,0,7,1,30,6,18,13,3,24,0,1,0,1,15,12,0,1,9,85,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15969269632172445,0.1701507492109504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10485340900413967,0.16167999622746754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856137303938905,0.0,0.09399182617310356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15720536439920685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16936873287197615,0.19887754294352988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13656516943798838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14535511449325328,0.0,0.07796229506457668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690596376935093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791157670417054,0.0,0.0,0.12331856021793375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31648359266195497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15314388582101554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16752616318090294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15453729778134875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13916106373592893,0.1458968056388823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15568634416911886,0.0,0.0,0.3277557656825934,0.2266924511712297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642056289608625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457578895217823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754624956793045,0.0,0.15429976723185504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913535317638218,0.0,0.12313506675590727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987977099660686,0.0,0.0,0.08990850427222148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20936762410118867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12722158963462624,0.09094432158106197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14293420471391344,0.0,0.0,0.17730906690331455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16858082602834532,0.0,0.0
divorce,SoonToBeDivorcedMan,2018/02/21,"Tomorrow is the FENE... Here in Minnesota and tomorrow is the FENE meeting between me and my soon to be ex wife.  I feel like I am going to get screwed over in the deal as I make roughly 3 times what she makes; however, I owe more that 4 times the debt that she has.

The way she views it is that I need to provide for her after this divorce for everything from housing to transportation.

I just feel so stressed out.

Anyone else going through this process right now?",4.871884057971017,5.533349086956524,5.011739130434783,86.44123188405798,69.0,8.742028985507247,32.72463768115942,8.841846274778883,2.505037681159421,364,16,76,6,6,114,65,92,0.097,0.8759999999999999,0.027000000000000003,-0.7443,3,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,1,1,5,0,6,1,0,2,0,9,15,4,0,1,1,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,2,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,0,4,12,1,15,14,1,16,0,0,1,1,9,5,1,0,8,53,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797087130725051,0.2633390883826975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2649680082688587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21470048343648607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23098574504973565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599059022182693,0.1836093698455471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13427812250418278,0.0,0.2921315984812045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2965572531928033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12556304388346198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431149099754345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19057108504576187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21948677879061104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29440629056776363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997314394171078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20400410233588745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,JoHnNyZSoLdjE,2018/02/21,Wife (25F)left and I(28)want her back What is the best thing I could do in this situation. She said she loves me but is no longer in love with me. She moved out today (to go live with her grandma). We have 2 kids ages 3 and 4. This is extremely hard and I’m not sure what I can do. ,-0.5492505854800953,1.4316083606557406,0.9626697892271672,103.68180327868856,88.34426229508196,4.797189695550352,16.911007025761126,6.18269132825596,-0.7760042154566746,214,5,57,2,7,68,46,61,0.107,0.735,0.158,0.667,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,8,2,0,0,1,11,13,4,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,7,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,1,2,10,4,6,11,1,8,0,0,0,2,11,3,0,0,3,38,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20159967934177192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751409742472785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2093288176020601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490025240744866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348611334073805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28485854973530955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315091034333589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.473254064233933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27865507783076976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493925292564256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29470049031372425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471008642022055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17418026069551934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24851529716259535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15464012940037358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Throwaway73apples,2018/02/21,"My mistakes are crushing me inside, and I don’t know how to move forward. Throw away for obvious reasons. 

I’ve made so many mistakes. 

I [35 F] was destroyed by my ex’s infidelity, and though over 15 years we went through therapy each time (3 to be exact,) it just never healed fully. He completely shattered my perceptions of what monogamy, marriage and family meant each time he cheated. Toward the end, after his last infidelity and after I had stated in therapy that I just wanted an open relationship (to which he said absolutely not) I made a decision to be with someone that I had fallen for, who was also married with kids. 

I made every excuse to myself of why it was OK. I sidestepped the ethics of my partner’s wife not knowing, because I told myself that it was my partner’s choice to share or not share with his own spouse. 

Now two years later, I’m facing myself critically and processing how terrible my decisions have been to his wife, and to myself. Still no one knows; it has been a continued secret and through this long time we have fallen in love and become very close friends but not to the degree that he would give up everything to be with me, which I have never asked for or expected. 

I’m never going to blow the lid off and tell his wife, because that’s not my place. I ended my own marriage 8 months ago when I knew it was past the point of repair, but my partner is still very much in love with his wife and family and so where do I go from here? 

I ended the relationship today, which seemed the obvious first step, but I just don’t know how to move forward with living with myself. I don’t know how I could have justified it for so long, to have been so selfish, especially after going through it myself from her side over and over. 

I tried to see a therapist, before and during my divorce and invested almost 8 months into twice weekly sessions, only for the therapist to tell me “what I had with my affair partner was the most special and incredible love, and he should be forced to leave his wife so we could be together.” I was appalled, certainly didn’t agree and felt it ethically wrong of her to make such a baseline assumption so I dropped her as a therapist. 

Im basically going this alone because I can’t tell anyone. I tried to deal with it with a therapist and she was crazy. 

How do you put one foot in front of the other and deal with knowing you are a huge disappointment to yourself?
",8.884511754068717,6.643461369198313,8.871506931886682,71.6604430379747,61.89029535864979,11.982157926461726,37.128390596745035,10.504223727775694,3.6977403254972883,1915,69,365,35,21,629,220,474,0.1,0.8190000000000001,0.081,-0.7315,0,1,0,0,1,0,46.0,3,2,0,1,23,17,2,0,18,1,39,6,2,10,7,92,69,39,0,8,13,7,1,0,5,2,1,1,0,5,23,38,0,0,15,0,1,15,14,8,0,5,24,3,58,9,63,36,6,66,0,1,1,3,56,21,0,5,32,268,81,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07105270293830496,0.0,0.0802638029236163,0.08301656040911863,0.0,0.06410004336653337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056046343592734665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493424378004286,0.0,0.07530840064453012,0.0,0.0,0.14658550381808533,0.08852506414520718,0.06820612774270182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840411482789556,0.0,0.0,0.12799472772736709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1652728771868446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21298101102112807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06753416974856684,0.0,0.07203827911704065,0.0,0.15112628092637378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07696151265029333,0.0,0.0,0.06817992844164142,0.0,0.0,0.06192766896561425,0.0,0.0,0.0768921223418489,0.18221607247464508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08658131516755165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2643070405542666,0.0653371442643576,0.0,0.08487272886484758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707784647135656,0.14186956832983116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2170294531997204,0.2275342189930203,0.05350418409739202,0.08126473982014848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12795814975637002,0.1703844756081336,0.05892325698175156,0.0,0.18546177599760705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863040622950278,0.06096160243047113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07651715907131967,0.0,0.0,0.08374507012068687,0.0,0.07577252384926113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08057806333149277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08241284256956775,0.0,0.17211326471301747,0.0,0.0,0.07624590165148258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06387327570253175,0.0729702368576331,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06791519728528911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12802401040594122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101773985411848,0.0,0.18332879600159666,0.3722652218726331,0.0,0.0,0.07875202651775179,0.0,0.14021733519680687,0.0,0.0759777085658632,0.07659167944922456,0.0,0.10884016873817087,0.0,0.07829993317181771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13227278422263414,0.04727758338546798,0.0,0.06429562531323056,0.0,0.0,0.07430462578110841,0.07232755426480708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056939917793323275,0.08763707201490455,0.0,0.1032345754017399
divorce,splundge,2018/02/21,"look for some advice. 8 year relationship (1 engaged, 3 married). today we have begun living apart long story short, i think we're two very different people. we've been arguing a lot lately, loud screaming matches. and it always comes back to me not putting her first.
we own a house, a cat, a dog, 2 cars.
she's 29, im 33

Can anyone provide resources on how to deal with the split psychologically, like.. check lists of things.. you need to do. how do you divide your assets ? (is it income based? financial contribution)?

the main question is, how do you truly know when it's time to call it?",1.5227443609022515,4.13665202631579,3.2155388471177946,86.51210526315793,85.75438596491226,5.3624060150375925,20.423558897243108,6.868970318607317,0.5735032581453634,457,14,88,6,14,151,92,114,0.051,0.8740000000000001,0.075,0.3939,2,0,0,1,0,0,28.0,2,4,0,1,5,4,1,0,6,0,8,0,0,3,0,15,13,5,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,5,5,0,0,3,0,1,3,1,2,0,2,1,3,10,2,8,12,4,15,0,0,1,0,13,3,0,3,10,50,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20252406004386986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17245009996228114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14491527720835734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15936384109429974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21162725965413398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17852907413000427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21366750511499125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21653401941007006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17628827496691912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2391407507172186,0.0,0.0,0.22386750828463275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11390016902312022,0.0,0.23378905733677066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125276065026234,0.0,0.1830071361814565,0.1834113209181104,0.17403931406495227,0.0,0.0,0.17619806872716842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15367458341411544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14368230249039582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2083453020494551,0.2321694474886119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225108710780871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13768888659880385,0.13279858479947312,0.0,0.0,0.12085019109136245,0.0,0.19645047281737624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20245489346178724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17100443993307238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13346336400229966
divorce,shesaysitsmyfault,2018/02/21,"itsovereasy.com - any experience/advice? She and I are likely close to settling on an informal agreement between us - only real assets are house, 2x cars and a bit of debt.  Neither she nor I have or want to spend a lot of money [we're in NY] and feel we don't need to independently hire lawyers to go through the process.  The plan was to potentially hire a single attorney or mediator and have them write up and file for us, but I've been hearing a bunch about itsovereasy.com - anyone have any experience with it?  It may make our lives easier as we can just upload all of our documentation to the site independently of each other and not even need to see each other IRL to finalize things.",7.630043620501635,7.21482491603054,8.012388222464558,70.94992366412215,63.19847328244275,10.844492911668484,33.9814612868048,10.290406445055957,3.3128835332606332,548,20,102,11,7,181,91,131,0.023,0.918,0.059,0.6857,1,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,6,0,1,1,3,2,0,0,8,0,10,0,0,3,1,30,18,11,0,3,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,5,12,0,0,2,0,3,2,4,0,0,0,2,3,11,2,21,15,8,8,0,0,1,0,12,5,0,4,2,75,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005958624245473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2791929611192565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14353556315139002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22411105368256054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13558457272170776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20080185097489126,0.0,0.0,0.1037950230777571,0.0,0.0,0.22487266149834148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11666455339145936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23136389021767945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368639317253612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1002887500927346,0.0,0.1812647559219077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17452051645720426,0.0,0.0,0.13702505289516054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30442294694279803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561236179660988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23365197671783544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16358045878795485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13637797379521166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4938497371687818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210786310161654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SweetAsPi,2018/02/21,"Parents are getting a divorce. My sister and I want to help my dad. Hi, 

My parents are getting a divorce after 30+ years of marriage in Arizona. My mom has been hiding money from my dad and now wants to take everything she can from my dad as well. She has a 30+ year pension. He only has 10 year pension. He makes considerably more than she does. Factors to possibly consider:

She cheated on my dad but there’s no proof plus Arizona is a no fault state. 

She emotionally and physically abused me and my sisters. We are now mid twenties to early thirties and the only proof we have of this is a cptsd diagnosis recently given to one child. 

They have 2, soon to be 3 properties between them and severe amounts of debt. 
 
My dad did not live with us for 6 years while we were minors. 

What can we do to help my dad in the divorce? We do not want my mom to take everything from him.
",2.302605932203388,4.246775683615823,3.991041666666668,86.15232521186441,77.47457627118644,6.684887005649718,27.44668079096045,7.6454224807358475,1.6249324858757055,684,29,139,10,16,229,103,177,0.129,0.82,0.051,-0.9473,3,0,0,0,4,0,19.0,6,0,2,0,5,3,1,0,7,0,18,0,0,1,2,23,27,10,0,3,3,12,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,13,0,0,1,0,2,0,4,2,1,1,4,0,27,1,24,22,2,16,0,0,0,0,36,4,0,0,11,97,29,2,0.0,0.18331294533452147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13539285518134794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740344713761972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780972026586845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16166525877444454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20740550343651226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13661690205938665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10327401008459322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36240259291726185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483944253797124,0.2353367031153107,0.0,0.0,0.3435872136168391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17441883862284224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15276320548823208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17478483654057125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2326540814388112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18610407972498505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27376619449640444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13910810124936154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3985276576393083
divorce,nanor,2018/02/21,"Starting a new job during divorce process I have a family friend who contacted me about an opening at their company but with everything going on I politely declined and thanked them for thinking of me. 

The thing is my family is driving me bonkers over my decision to decline. I honestly feel emotionally overwhelmed right now, I can't even imagine presenting myself normally and professionally at an interview. I know it would be with multiple people too as I've interviewed there before a few years ago, and I don't do well with group interviews. 

The pay is better but I just can't muster up the confidence right now. Am I a fool, would a change of scenery actually be good for me? My brother thinks I'm crazy and says in this job market how could I possibly turn something down, even just the opportunity to interview. 

I wasn't even looking to change jobs. I'm satisfied where I am, and though a pay bump would be nice to recover some of the costs of the divorce, I just don't know.

Has anyone been able to switch jobs during a divorce and make it work? Emotions and stability are my main concern. I feel I owe it to myself to get mentally stable and ready before making a decision that could just be more disruption to my life and schedule. I work from home now and like my routine. ",7.057299651567947,7.110353556910571,7.475865272938446,72.7609756097561,64.2439024390244,11.418815331010457,36.67711962833914,11.062562989136584,4.165707084785134,1029,47,188,27,14,338,142,246,0.063,0.765,0.172,0.9836,5,0,1,0,3,0,19.0,0,0,2,4,17,11,0,1,16,0,24,1,0,3,0,39,41,15,0,6,6,1,2,1,1,3,1,1,1,0,7,14,0,0,9,0,4,2,5,2,1,0,2,4,29,9,27,30,4,22,0,1,1,0,15,11,0,1,10,135,36,14,0.11651264666844115,0.0,0.11369953599705805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328143130074656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146835160454424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828736150585224,0.0,0.0,0.1030459676784352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24650986229917365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.186051735288808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2621220906569772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308665128026917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471405404676833,0.0,0.21967550783799866,0.0,0.11782458993778105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09001738179392117,0.0,0.06087304900211055,0.0,0.06621682213667125,0.09772528012040904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11687168446898373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4624832944884701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12806460708005238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229632803024191,0.056922193881092174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09784127874158696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554619277342635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174173437748294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125286401886364,0.0,0.0,0.11415765575783787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08077519888954113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13135050277181567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900232728112613,0.0,0.09265553310595563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969712769826088,0.0,0.0,0.08246825099922396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072691910845382,0.0,0.0,0.07740582526258774,0.14931319882132388,0.1144730837847249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267323021265346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10475886196127523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16964518886709926,0.0,0.0,0.2483017238463512,0.0,0.0,0.0750303244373021
divorce,Goat_Pants,2018/02/21,"Those of you that felt suicidal or were in darkest depths of emotional hell, what did you do to move past it? Been separated for a month. I have my own place. She has been sending mixed signals texting me regularly telling me she missed me and wants to see me. Two days ago, she tells me she has a boyfriend already and can't talk to me because I said I can not be her friend now. I am crushed...",2.207195767195768,3.9276317654321034,3.053721340388009,93.77888888888893,77.0246913580247,6.603880070546737,27.62081128747796,7.447530270364453,1.2306070546737216,307,13,71,4,7,97,62,81,0.197,0.784,0.018000000000000002,-0.9479,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,2,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,12,0,0,0,0,6,17,3,1,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,6,3,18,1,7,10,1,10,1,1,1,0,13,3,1,1,5,50,22,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2144570667544756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2669766660198684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14747877691507244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602535871134954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2721395994704797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232291518456386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18691514450674085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.193106865251196,0.25713416484062285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23095033421978786,0.0,0.0,0.2527662052325414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301316029374021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927875335447676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2646330403642921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944548217715822,0.42291638483588395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23633124850549256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269706058742473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pinkgidget,2018/02/21,I'm really struggling I'm meeting with a lawyer within the next week or two. Then my husband and I are separating houses within the next two months. My husband has really gotten worse since dday. I found out he was unfaithful the entire time we were together a week and a half before Christmas. We tried... Well no I tried to keep things normal during the holidays for our kids. Since I have started making plans about moving and doing my own things he has really upped the emotional abuse. I work from home and stay anxious literally all the time. He was always pretty bad before but I did not realize until my rose colored glasses had shattered. Now everyday he wants to battle about the most mundane bullshit. Does anyone else experience this?,4.871690997566908,7.315863072992703,5.4858576642335795,76.06606143552312,71.55474452554746,8.070316301703164,26.74513381995133,8.841846274778883,2.4254725060827256,599,21,96,12,12,193,95,137,0.175,0.778,0.047,-0.9611,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,3,0,0,2,4,4,1,1,10,0,10,0,0,1,1,19,18,8,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,8,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,3,1,3,7,1,13,1,12,11,3,18,0,0,1,0,11,4,0,2,12,65,16,2,0.0,0.17013712331678946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11948291476047032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1622219818362599,0.0,0.10040527502137288,0.14713050436388503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11989619992306212,0.0,0.0,0.24437829750009285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256613429900698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11995556986691412,0.1615255500034139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404639005782132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15744499547302307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14403794099431466,0.0,0.0,0.1656898658797527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12763423074804722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585107564071677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461651549361558,0.15261923469191946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30543077302243066,0.0,0.14069304946537767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608819268451842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759727601856469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23756727459962926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163759618338496,0.15305364009076705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501171386977117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19079686824823253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746331934993453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498376477400214,0.0,0.2805437721825121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08469631483291176,0.0,0.23036721143332198,0.0,0.12910955161097398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10453919533646083,0.0,0.146336027785013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,msjmartin28,2018/02/21,"Married five years too long Me 29f and him 31m are considering divorce. Married eight years. We love each other but he feels we are incompatible personality wise. Now I must admit we’ve grown and changed but I always thought love could help us survive anything. 

We’re taking the next few days to give the relationship everything we’ve got. It terrifies me that this may be the end. I thought divorces were always nasty and done when the love is gone. I can’t imagine not having him in my life daily. 

I suppose I’m posting to vent and get some advice on moving on when there’s still love there. I’d do anything for him. We recently lost a 18 weeks pregnancy and I feel so badly about us breaking up now. 
",2.9255783065855003,5.1629497482014415,4.030359712230215,85.21108467072496,76.6978417266187,6.579081350304373,26.51964582180409,7.61054688173877,1.4914588821250687,561,22,110,8,13,182,100,139,0.113,0.701,0.18600000000000005,0.9129,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,5,0,0,2,10,7,0,0,5,0,12,5,0,0,1,22,28,10,0,2,3,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,4,9,0,0,6,0,0,3,2,2,0,2,7,2,17,5,8,17,3,22,0,1,0,4,20,4,0,2,13,68,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401201099720922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23862574121987176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2359972926011627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11972556759869092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1516887563104944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11448611456006325,0.0,0.0,0.09247538820553072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14673886559184246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12700194171966378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12887066244276124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14500568329201416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07491592433532332,0.13755379590237746,0.0,0.0,0.11468295072750995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611202258277383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128136482164367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689659910830045,0.0,0.0,0.1565283092543277,0.0,0.5176642149376796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15240203202181027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15249804700100256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12520356569244154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732902370423178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14158139887735646,0.15394836405459136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1145123067333925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781225164580208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276730111417937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3449636430452647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501968020121098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18467831661281825
divorce,11235Golden,2018/02/21,"Family is telling me that I owe it to him and the kids to go to couples counseling before calling it quits. Me (37) and STBXH (37) are half way through our 1 year separation. I said that before we did couples counseling we each needed to seek individual counseling to get healthy again. He struggles with substance abuse problems (alcohol, weed, and occasional harder stuff), he has been mean for years, doesn’t help around the house or with the kids (5 and 3), lies about where he is, spends secret money, and finally was caught cheating. Since separating I have struggled with mental health related to stress. I’ve been working on my stuff and finally feel like I’m waking up again, like I’m coming out of a fog. He on the other hand hasn’t gone to any counseling or worked the AA program. He hasn’t been any nicer or any more helpful. He called me demanding a decision and so I told him that I wanted a divorce. Now my family keeps talking to me saying that I’m being unfair, and that he’s so sad, and I owe it to him and to the kids to try to keep the family together. Except he hasn’t actually done anything except feel sorry for himself. I don’t know what I’m looking for, maybe someone to share my righteous indignation with. Bleh!",6.271209247184353,6.317007232365147,6.938509187907531,75.97743775933611,65.88796680497926,10.205216360403083,32.9819205690575,9.957137785484203,3.1303655008891536,977,38,186,20,14,323,139,241,0.13699999999999998,0.778,0.085,-0.9215,2,0,1,0,2,0,32.0,3,0,0,3,8,9,1,3,10,0,17,4,2,0,0,36,39,15,0,3,5,0,3,2,0,0,2,2,0,3,12,20,1,2,6,0,4,4,5,6,1,1,10,6,21,3,30,28,2,18,0,1,1,0,30,6,0,3,9,112,33,3,0.0,0.1362166622274939,0.11219085099408853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12286436853936335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23454376120581244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09460774428206337,0.10234467891786317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19565627628673565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2347875754335049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09903357565532167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544167884269293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1176507825080422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32514093330435395,0.0,0.11626116938147585,0.08213218655462566,0.0,0.2518806568224032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06006532137763819,0.0,0.06533818771107007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220415623716455,0.0,0.0,0.15411942323101327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326560603298611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20437525402496434,0.0,0.0,0.0631826556042692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11233378071367804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09654301777144006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115499436775521,0.12523236843634586,0.0,0.0,0.11585932698884895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524630263729177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11000754249461132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228116715927675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10935959636595848,0.09142608206190986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510158797086757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741085620815446,0.0,0.0,0.12869573470342552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316938912219316,0.24037617632066965,0.2632185816203653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240582583583287,0.10048590578579304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10985554591307277,0.0,0.0780547981189605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781029962535946,0.09125516309464313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16739415811288097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14806948639089054
divorce,wadingintherain,2018/02/21,"Hostile treatment by inlaws Long story short, my husband and I have been married for 2.5 years, together for 5. We were happy initially but over the last two years, we would butt heads over random things and no matter how much we tried handling it like adults, eventually the same issues came around. I wanted to keep trying and seek therapy, he didn't. We had our final conversation last week where he said he was tired of being in a toxic relationship and wanted to separate. Even though it was extremely hard to hear, I didn't want him to resent me and I said that I'm ok with that decision. Suddenly he started acting very distant and the next day he was on the phone with a lawyer. He deleted me from his facebook friends and my entire family. I've always been close with his family, but since they heard, they completely cut out all the contact with me and his sister unfriended me as well. 
It's especially hard to accept because my family has been extremely kind towards him and basically helped to remodel the entire house. My dad was having heart issue and still came out to paint and fix up the house. This weekend, I was planning on going out of town and my husband wanted to take away the car that I was using to drive because it's cosigned by his mom. He also wanted to take away my phone which is on his family plan. 

I get that it's not a pleasant situation, but why is he acting like such a jerk? does his family thinks that I'm going to go after his money? 
I'm positive that he said some lies about me to him, otherwise I don't see a reason why they would shut me out like that. 
It's been a really hard week and I'm just trying to make sense of things and figure out where to go from there since I've invested a lot of personal money in his house and I'm afraid I won't see a penny back. ",6.6642018268812535,5.797401947658403,7.3018239814412045,76.74067855589388,65.33608815426997,10.617311874728145,30.12454690445121,9.93914555978268,2.629510192837466,1429,40,284,27,19,475,187,363,0.083,0.818,0.098,0.8608,0,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,5,0,3,2,14,15,4,1,16,1,24,4,3,4,1,59,55,22,0,7,5,5,3,3,1,3,1,5,1,2,17,32,0,1,5,1,3,10,6,5,1,1,20,10,40,10,48,31,5,49,0,0,2,1,47,23,1,3,19,183,57,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06796034425162663,0.0707121122353436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565229729406056,0.0,0.0,0.15968740624951858,0.06534617156023902,0.0,0.10360888780070483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943943081103865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08910236356129793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05480657699683161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436861585584277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0561300321472424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4005689207765292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09309399635639376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06565714281249989,0.0,0.04439976360247543,0.0,0.19318968230248704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0904652780511788,0.2283824453478316,0.0,0.08721639523868438,0.0,0.09578127020604768,0.10070447860197994,0.05696186918725445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2941746210954751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773989615935571,0.0,0.07553620589036368,0.0,0.08849602662406776,0.0,0.13854389430701172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12455423180628625,0.0,0.0,0.07520669406878139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224894397980325,0.0,0.0,0.056726369892904124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09953028607649192,0.0,0.0,0.062471795939495686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.090379679577566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420329880799857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05444186122416569,0.08737599629623828,0.0,0.09123922626138928,0.0,0.0,0.2425129899389016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354398398890779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059653481513,0.09552370748705337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06015093557985244,0.0,0.06786700416028231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12779228258863468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718470872368884,0.0,0.11291697719935988,0.054453250158098224,0.0834947146924073,0.0,0.0,0.09767469505518844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17309228545030358,0.0,0.08301539490087671,0.0,0.0,0.07339745369630554,0.0,0.07011932815309653,0.25062392110165826,0.0,0.13633540948404696,0.0,0.07640932699434379,0.0,0.15336668209746726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207380279843591,0.0,0.0,0.10945167763545892
divorce,kiwiler,2018/02/21,"It breaks my heart that love isn't enough We first had the talk on New Year's Eve. After a few days of tears and heartbreak, we silently agreed to pretend nothing happened. This past weekend we agreed it was official. We've started telling family and friends. 

I am heart broken. We've been married for 8 years, together for 6 before that. He's been my best friend, my travel partner, my support and confidante. 

He always wanted kids, I never did. He made the choice to accept my wishes before we got married. About 5 years ago, he started mentoring local kids, and I've always been super supportive because I knew it was something I couldn't give him. About a year ago it spun out of control. We hadn't had alone time in forever. There's always kids at my house, needing help with homework or just wanting dinner. Travel was my sneaky way of getting him to spend time with me, but he asked to bring kids on the last trip I was planning. 

I feel like I begged and pleaded for him to be my husband and part of this marriage, and now I'm ending up without a marriage or partner. I'm alone because I didn't want to be alone. ",3.8545468998410186,5.3469641261261245,4.385824059353471,86.87759141494436,72.15315315315316,6.484790673025968,28.82458929517753,6.794906146795322,1.4446064652888182,884,35,171,7,17,280,127,222,0.046,0.8059999999999999,0.149,0.9539,0,3,1,0,0,0,26.0,5,0,0,5,5,10,0,0,6,0,17,4,2,2,1,32,38,10,0,6,5,1,1,1,4,0,0,0,1,6,8,15,1,1,3,4,1,4,6,1,0,1,15,1,25,9,25,20,4,34,0,1,0,1,30,7,0,2,22,100,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20532963733456228,0.0,0.0,0.3598545770250557,0.0,0.0,0.28910716756153004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10827329899508348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120198619141416,0.0,0.19710354278237807,0.0,0.12154283897417704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12989865937811024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469241001014439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025795218282982,0.1196699629910947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10918199861192283,0.0,0.05856057574030546,0.08273971708761077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09851391573783114,0.0,0.0,0.17895991684827728,0.0,0.060509623645010675,0.11110225889679064,0.0,0.0,0.09262946761439007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10241662668624396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744875019664789,0.07762972112862622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13363731518763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09440634614509552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056582355989327836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045294011195948,0.10958888434220036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587686823950914,0.08932524175769928,0.11185681970461396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112957424878726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254185688962732,0.11056047041325892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08916161631516188,0.0,0.0,0.16395179516808178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26285561080765896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930893503221028,0.10122919850038467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.135067695730863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20493567413659852,0.09193017614614228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13318388117273694,0.11164349438877684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2983295082529405
divorce,thenewmook,2018/02/21,"Will I always be under her heel? Long story short, I put up with mental and emotional abuse from my STBXW for years because I didn’t know how bad she was at first and then we accidentally had a child.  Her wild and erratic emotions, blame, fear, anxiety, abuse, and control issues only became very clear right after we got married, however, there were signs beforehand.  I only stayed and gave up almost everything (my business, courage, self respect, family, friends, sanity) to try and protect my son’s well being.  Things deteriorated and even though I mostly kept her on a even keel she began to treat me like a slave, belittled me, and kept me walking on egg shells around her.  Last year she started a relationship with someone else, fully blamed me, lived in complete denial about it, kicked me out (arrested), kept (keeping me from my son, claimed terrible and untrue things about me, left me with no money, no car, almost nothing and has fought me the entire way through court.

You’d think through all of this I’d hate her... but I don’t have room in my heart for hate.  I still recognize all the good times we had and all the things we had in common.  I miss her.  I only ever wanted her to get help and on medication again.  From this point on she will always hate me and think the very least of me.  In reality I’m a very good looking and responsible person.  I don’t smoke, do drugs, cheat, gamble, or waste money.  I hardly drink.

When does it get better?  I’ve tried dating, but I compare everyone to her.  I know what makes someone good and someone bad, but I still love and miss my wife.  I’ve never attacked her in court over anything and we hardly ever argued.  I know she has deep emotional and mental issues which is why I don’t hold them against her.  It’s not her fault which makes this all so much harder.  ",4.991234479465136,6.071441985673356,5.431393266475649,82.0224862702961,68.97134670487104,8.108930276981852,26.8625835721108,8.344100000000001,1.7053638013371533,1419,43,273,20,24,454,196,349,0.14400000000000002,0.716,0.139,-0.2627,1,0,3,0,2,0,57.0,5,1,1,3,16,25,7,1,9,0,19,7,2,4,8,60,46,27,0,1,5,3,2,1,1,2,2,0,1,3,12,28,2,7,5,1,3,3,8,14,1,1,13,3,56,11,36,28,7,46,0,2,1,1,36,22,0,4,20,179,68,0,0.0,0.2063288760351496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437728235361485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14489944949891276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06660878030237886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07165169525787653,0.07751130523971538,0.0,0.09905539173362747,0.0,0.0,0.1454006491278779,0.053077437269696486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07700688111037929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09129188070435608,0.0,0.09765709577502467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619607982889277,0.0,0.0,0.08529605220181508,0.10097426750499697,0.0,0.07273632415516998,0.2938281593116157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11501863685563232,0.15752070793388304,0.0,0.08319970165109912,0.07825345224306958,0.0,0.08208242445610582,0.09797864622582224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07406221858209021,0.0,0.0,0.06727053929275474,0.0,0.09098160273403537,0.0,0.0,0.21909209638930136,0.06963832293354985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15599633292421014,0.2578926109199686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10317909513816284,0.05836159624388105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18175819576025345,0.0,0.0773923611157494,0.0,0.0,0.14355519474526018,0.07097417041407378,0.0,0.0,0.09460247533536896,0.0,0.0,0.04253830320097577,0.0,0.07688494611735694,0.07705475218256021,0.07311738527462662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858462731881308,0.0,0.11624062002556253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771448188319522,0.1754933965117601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06400691872075677,0.0,0.06715422415613365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08354660107970556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1986633732617336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602670043639431,0.0,0.0,0.08230987259900263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753001470933855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09348125264580996,0.0,0.0743578273991671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0908336383178877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213239424573866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162902773542664,0.09280568789862678,0.13906940736314358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17353753817465456,0.11158266557042944,0.08554643478003449,0.0,0.05077157439980297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823046095593595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155271224568009,0.05135650322256671,0.06911259946406774,0.0,0.0,0.07828693747129323,0.0,0.07856768488768992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11214123956110243
divorce,Maladd,2018/02/21,"Ex wife attacked woman I went on dates with I (44m) have been seperated from ex wife (34f) since Christmas 2016 and divorced since June 2017. We share 50/50 custody of three kids. 

I filed after ex wife refused to end emotional affairs and pulling all nighters (yes I know what was probably going on). We tried reconciliation several times, but I ended the last one when I discovered she wasn't seeing me exclusively and chose not to cut him out. 

Co-parenting has been okay, but with me setting firm boundaries and minimizing contact as much as possible. I have strong suspicions her current partner was in the picture long before we seperated. This causes me pain that I try to avoid by not interacting with either of them. 

This past weekend I found out my ex attacked a woman I had gone on a couple of dates with a couple of months ago. According to friends who were there my ex lunged across a table, grabbed her by the hair, and screamed that the other woman was sleeping with her husband. 

She's made several overtures going back before thanksgiving that I took as openings to reconcile which I shut down each time. She's currently still dating her probable AP.  She's definately groomed him to be a replacement. He's had overnights during her time with the kids, attends kids sports, school activities since days in to them officially dating. 

I just don't understand what's going through her head, and more importantly, how to handle it. It's completely unacceptable for her to attack a nice woman simply because we went on a date. 

Should I just document it? Not sure if it becomes a habit if it would fall under the realm of harassment? My friend is very nice, and would not want to file charges.",7.685142857142857,7.9318500380952415,7.342936507936508,73.58678571428574,62.9047619047619,10.682539682539684,36.230158730158735,10.380263240014207,3.770301587301587,1362,59,240,29,18,430,188,315,0.124,0.782,0.094,-0.8754,3,1,0,0,1,0,35.0,4,0,2,1,7,16,5,1,14,2,18,5,4,3,2,48,31,16,0,6,11,9,2,0,3,3,1,1,0,8,15,21,0,2,5,2,0,10,6,8,0,2,15,4,39,8,41,12,5,48,0,0,1,0,46,13,0,2,24,156,54,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001536507113067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3856074170602627,0.0,0.08687785357113334,0.0,0.06887410209425815,0.12478214039645392,0.1922824160607869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11606586676478603,0.0,0.0,0.11846175390985697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25002967292224043,0.0,0.07286544348931659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12709198536826727,0.20014088044356387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12388131203107768,0.17458258082969758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263452467590728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595435560541655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209314571090569,0.09209717934036467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09998743612475396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10690835465088533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09018288753555397,0.0,0.08305636597170803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07656099847168267,0.0,0.120223124153941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107856175854487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1273726768663387,0.0,0.0,0.2436320921639638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11434601321117728,0.09003375635199966,0.0,0.0,0.25527990762463915,0.0,0.2803850219369977,0.0,0.1130657670367524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902293050835148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1064862442616573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19764593649822135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12552957145168628,0.15341767156455066,0.0,0.0,0.11762050684033107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09322377391574133,0.0666409915042114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20947491732094328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16052142712022385,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,kellerae,2018/02/21,"27F separated, pending divorce from disordered ex. How can I make it easier on him (42M)? I left my husband 8~ months ago because I could no longer stand dealing with his conditions, which include NPD. We were married 2.5 years. I was not aware of any of his conditions before we married, in fact, I found out about some of them through his family when they asked me how our marriage was going 18 months in. They asked because they had noticed my personality had disappeared when he was around and that I never spoke any more unless spoken to first.

While the way he treated me as a result of his conditions is the reason I left, I still would like to avoid any unnecessary pain or difficulty being caused to him. I know that his NPD means that he can't be emotionally hurt, only ego-hurt but... I don't want to walk away feeling guilty or like I gave anything less than my best to any part of the situation. I also don't want him to be able to make the accusation that I walked away with anything I didn't earn.

Specifically, I'd like help with the following:

- How might I approach him to successfully get him to sign a separation agreement? Where I'm from it has to be mutually agreed, I can't just serve one on him. I have an email confirmation from him of the date I left, but he avoided even confirming that for several weeks by pretending that he didn't know that 'confirm' meant he had to reply in some way...

- He has agreed that I can have anything that was mine before he and I started dating. This would include high-quality pots, pans, bedding etc... but is it worth taking the kitchen equipment? I now live in a shared house that is fairly well equipped...

- All I am taking is my clothes, my instruments, my car, some sentimental gifts from prior to the marriage, and <10% of the financial assets we had together. We didn't have any pets. He gets to keep almost everything that was acquired during the marriage, because I want to minimise contact with him as much as possible. I just want to be truly free of him. What, if anything, would you consider worth fighting to keep that I might not have considered?

- My family wish to maintain a high level of contact with him. His conditions (that I am aware of) are NPD, ASD, ODD, and an unspecified psychotic disorder. My family are already playing into his NPD by constantly calling me out about the things he claims I did (he makes it up, or builds it off a 1% grain of truth). Does anyone have experience dealing with such a situation? I am carefully considering whether I will also have to go full no-contact with my own blood family. There are other circumstances unrelated to him that also point to me needing to take at least a time-out from my family, but I'd like to know if he'll ever let them go now that his claws are firmly in...",6.8056443618339495,6.604277135687733,7.195821561338287,75.4133358116481,64.817843866171,10.667757125154896,33.91846344485749,10.279547748218286,3.3222079801734807,2201,86,422,47,30,720,263,538,0.057,0.831,0.112,0.9805,0,2,0,0,3,0,82.0,5,1,5,5,22,19,1,2,20,0,52,3,1,9,5,76,87,27,0,12,15,2,1,4,0,7,1,1,3,1,25,19,1,4,8,2,3,9,11,5,1,2,18,2,74,15,72,55,13,55,0,1,0,0,62,24,0,11,23,296,99,2,0.0741993437766905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06577324132581447,0.0,0.07429992471935329,0.0,0.08188082094114399,0.17801156523220454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522904908603235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051881906389336235,0.0,0.24423895093758616,0.06605314713565702,0.13873274051211631,0.0,0.13942545194247524,0.0,0.0,0.1356936938185822,0.0,0.12627635302812815,0.0,0.0778676335579103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07576582597997014,0.0,0.07565117610737115,0.07622316520857755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08018313082280408,0.0,0.05924213835013376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15299253070303198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17007775259552502,0.0,0.06493234575953588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346427479013725,0.0,0.0,0.08275188202174444,0.04900796677382647,0.06711755443861651,0.0,0.0,0.06668558578518352,0.07258119595139419,0.34974268870088504,0.0,0.03751741765432325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631139239117006,0.0,0.08135575063025369,0.0,0.0,0.07753218931668712,0.0,0.12650759097852468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0497342560784755,0.15679136105346753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08561608052370898,0.1588638642805538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319035720052666,0.0,0.0,0.12233405657756913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418534123531721,0.07587385617101235,0.0,0.14500020566267324,0.0,0.06551937994981298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858591441486368,0.0,0.0,0.08082483765581464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15742755624400268,0.0,0.0,0.11845041659904534,0.0,0.05454505516178447,0.05501787323394485,0.05722710816503183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0844764446797014,0.0,0.0,0.050279395637195724,0.0564319444926579,0.07895333322111059,0.0,0.0,0.0803506586368895,0.0,0.0,0.06478800498369874,0.0,0.0,0.07014236321637085,0.08364861145195274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.076289283285693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382413846413822,0.0,0.0,0.16680634247127266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05251867742706808,0.0,0.05925569178726475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1673660168934075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049294746992755996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043266234051504635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17505878159279986,0.117791970789539,0.05951823794223904,0.0,0.06671412103820099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532558349391782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812725480735812,0.0,0.0,0.04778194467114396
divorce,MargDivorce,2018/02/21,"Well, that's it I guess? I kind of knew it was coming. But it doesn't make it less painful.

My wife and I have been married 2 years but been together 10. We have been chasing each other around the country. I am a resident, she is a vet.  I chose my residency (with her help) to be close to her, but within 1.5 years she moved across the country.  We have been long distance the majority of our relationship, but it has worked.

Starting about 6 months ago things changed.  Our conversations were no longer stimulating, no longer playful, no longer engaging.  I tried to ask her why, but she stonewalled.  Eventually it got to one night where I asked ""it feels like you don't even love me"" and she said ""oh well.""  Since that time it has been ""repair"" of the relationship followed by a quick relapse into this horrid pattern.  I tried so often to get something--anything--for feedback; something to improve, something I could do better. But it didn't work.  After the New Year she told me she wanted a divorce.  I pleaded to see a counselor, and she hesitantly obliged.

We saw the counselor today.  My wife did not do the paperwork.  She was late to the appointment.  And after the counselor told us it would take a few appointments to complete the assessment, my wife stopped her and told her that ""we only need 1 appointment."" She told me she was divorcing me right there.  An hour of retrospection did not dissolve her resolve.

My wife tells me that it started before our marriage, during our engagement.  She did not feel the strength of love that could sustain a marriage, but she went along with it.  I was not privy to any of this information.  Then, about 5 months ago, she put all of my stuff in trash bags and stopped wearing her ring (we were not living together at the time, and she did not tell me until 1 month later).

I think the frustrating part for me is that the change was rapid.  She actually admitted to me in a drunken moment that she had a crush on a co-worker.  Since that time she has taken up all of his hobbies (drumming, fucking demolition derby car building (wtf not at all in her personality)). I have a feeling that she had an emotional affair, but she is not willing to acknowledge it or talk it out with a therapist.  It's over.  Period. No wiggle room. (therapist was no help in exploring this more).

So I had to tell my story.  I am devastated.  I thought I had a fighting chance but I didn't.

How can I trust ANYONE again, let alone in a relationship? She tells me she hasn't love me in 3 YEARS and I didn't suspect a thing?

My instinct is to cut off ALL contact.  I'm leaving tomorrow for a friends since I'm staying in her place at the moment.  Is this the right move?

She doesn't have any animosity towards me.  Probably will do mediation as our finances and possessions are completely separate.  Any advice?

I guess that's it.  I needed to rant. I need to talk to someone who understands, who went through the same thing.  There aren't any support groups, and since she abandoned me in my residency across the country I don't have a support system.  I don't know why I'm typing this, but I guess I need to tell someone.",3.0523935666982034,5.286923761589407,4.06973982970672,85.09511589403976,76.28476821192055,7.161967833491015,27.673131504257327,8.135034353345038,1.897560170293284,2448,102,480,43,56,791,273,604,0.13699999999999998,0.7859999999999999,0.077,-0.9904,1,1,3,0,3,0,97.0,11,1,0,5,15,23,4,0,37,0,59,6,1,3,4,81,105,27,0,8,19,4,3,1,1,3,1,2,1,1,38,25,0,3,14,2,1,9,23,6,2,1,36,7,93,17,62,62,11,72,0,1,2,4,86,28,1,5,34,347,131,5,0.0,0.0,0.06634112077908688,0.0,0.0,0.06643171958278941,0.12052478223547153,0.0,0.0,0.07040937537544989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1849217454277204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475349499545014,0.0,0.0,0.06051884485255023,0.12710893519999364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057848106781045135,0.0,0.0,0.060125003392536576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14383295766878676,0.058560910676047136,0.14255673150020964,0.0,0.0,0.10855700099139258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647117080403577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04490180508179111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10312199539685413,0.0485667169808527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052523116699106136,0.06284873277908239,0.03551805432297262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054371821612002685,0.0,0.2246711894625744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113448360874447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06694907590837604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707933201884351,0.0373614082560719,0.0,0.07668722963166336,0.07198365960157803,0.0,0.06951671993081229,0.0,0.03321281926228657,0.0,0.06002979966835732,0.060162379901437864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18407060184812568,0.0,0.0453788516857976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278896681838462,0.14450929359299905,0.0,0.201632671795284,0.0,0.06565792942245514,0.0,0.06379697807902535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606670652040494,0.0517037604047073,0.07233818116170768,0.0,0.0,0.07361843083508622,0.0,0.0,0.05935970338948656,0.07102725105584047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329664132332794,0.0,0.0,0.06834119698737448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21896331411260067,0.0,0.11611338000375095,0.06466693252240788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05417325679642558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22494333104544206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11520271607958382,0.10467251128133843,0.0,0.0,0.09623673750297676,0.07246030769319832,0.0,0.1136728407423555,0.0,0.0,0.07782370647806519,0.0,0.15429148788854502,0.0,0.0,0.05111438515391931,0.10928352888221282,0.2970985402669999,0.0,0.0,0.15786586204537767,0.13549367174769555,0.04356044582791245,0.0,0.05397051727890211,0.11892344056852587,0.0,0.06443946817619292,0.25984079718071457,0.0,0.0923113202817233,0.0,0.0,0.07077218789667293,0.081774586123308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040097844321985564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122248877325805,0.12604093118220142,0.12268727813154864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14847622550343267,0.0,0.0,0.048292822853655513,0.0,0.0,0.17511402388547745
divorce,HideUnderRock,2018/02/21,"Wife walked out after 30+ years, is living another life. Want to file but I have no idea where to start. Please bear with me as this will be long. I am a 60 year old man residing in MA who has been married to the same person for 30+ years, including 8 years of dating and a few years engaged. 

To start things off, I come from a family of 6 kids who father left when we were young, and promised myself, for the sake of my family I would never do the same, and yet here I am.

My wife was caught stealing money from her work in order to supply a drug habit I never knew she had. Imagine waking up at 7 am on a Saturday morning to Cops knocking at your door.  She got a slap on the wrists due to a technicality. I obviously had to pay for her lawyer. Before this, I noticed strange behavior. She takes calls in the other room. If she couldn't get out of the room she simply wouldn't answer it. She was very protective of her phone, and even accused me of taking it one day when she couldn't find it and flung a remote at me. We had bills that weren't being payed, despite she constantly saying that they were payed. We almost lost the house a few times because she spent the money on her habit. We got a 1000$ bill for our electricity, our monthly bill is about 80$, so for the better part of a year she didn't pay the Electricity bill and put that money into what ever she was doing. She Take out 100, 200, 300$ out of our account at time, and then go to the store and spend 150$ on groceries that we never saw. She would come home late during the week, 2 or 3 am, sometimes not at all. On weekends she would leave claiming to be ""Helping her friend clean houses in Cape Cod.""

The day that the police came to my door, was the same day she left. She came home grabbed some clothes and just drove off. I didn't really know what to think, I was still processing what had just happened. She just drove off. 

I've seen her once since then. I talk to her once a day if I am lucky, but I have no way to verify the information she gives me. I ask her to pictures of where she is, she refuses to send any. I ask for address same thing. I have no clue where she is, what shes doing or who she is with. She's not paying her Car Payment half the time, which affects my credit, So I have to foot the bill or I end up getting fucked, I also end up paying for her court ordered theory sessions. She talks to her sister a lot, as do I, and her sister swears she is still using. If she talks to me, then calls her sister, she tells me something different than what she tells her sister.

I'm done at this point. I'm sick of wondering whats really happening. I'm sick of being fucked. She walked out, and if it wasn't for my youngest son being here to keep and eye on me, I don't know where I would be right now. She contributes nothing towards this family, but always calls to ask for money. There have been times in the past where I got a bonus, and she instantly spent it on ""Bills,"" and am wondering now where that really went.

I know I can get her on Abandonment, I'm sure she's fucked around but I have no proof. She has a habit, and is probably still using, but no criminal record because of a ""technicality."" I have no clue where she is, or what shes doing, I have no clue if she has a job or any income at all.

I appreciate you taking the time to read through this, and any help you are willing to provide me.

-Pete",3.7480309069724633,4.090582812411849,4.8007766603299205,88.09569739988962,71.36953455571228,8.026994542221132,24.15775433862759,7.967736418589885,0.9880552278162748,2630,62,596,33,46,864,296,709,0.101,0.828,0.07,-0.9755,3,0,2,0,0,0,93.0,8,3,1,4,28,14,3,0,37,0,68,11,4,3,9,97,118,41,0,13,20,9,1,0,1,7,4,1,8,3,30,34,0,4,12,2,23,14,20,6,0,2,33,5,107,8,88,70,11,111,0,2,3,3,99,47,3,16,47,413,137,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06884095537942594,0.0,0.0,0.054977562294353056,0.057203647188571134,0.0,0.0,0.14025251161078303,0.07208802512476882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061200085623397675,0.19280963813895516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381599808002077,0.0,0.05849928393010674,0.0,0.0,0.060801810819349364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059746151588868,0.15725825555321013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844022324914563,0.0,0.07429191014668061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17734648252088267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718267815058738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035283162039603,0.0,0.0,0.0797255806485806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178022755225075,0.0,0.0,0.045407249962321934,0.062186288717483475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19442782143923265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283421112404003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311435218277386,0.19066860100055924,0.1077536082044442,0.06594911990654141,0.03907093875983803,0.0,0.16495160208008072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158684190263028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921603545753115,0.0,0.13791922593995767,0.0,0.0,0.15865137956347822,0.0,0.07760785791845606,0.0,0.0,0.06822154814040855,0.06110617170273016,0.0,0.0,0.11334592009414228,0.0,0.07755047260260431,0.07279395602866412,0.1493892941888797,0.0,0.048558579057034215,0.0,0.0,0.060705535418098186,0.060839608063342286,0.0,0.0,0.07504630583301433,0.058446890787428374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054873809593815916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15906754204246365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596533400913485,0.07826978534330993,0.07213921404237811,0.14642825064772128,0.046585264314044667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0744471293453249,0.06562752002172173,0.0,0.060027896085379125,0.0,0.0754644006647889,0.06498885853013422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07412171755466201,0.0,0.0,0.06911049140847171,0.0,0.0,0.06876636844829517,0.0,0.13212473464481256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058710215103785324,0.0,0.05467098152597818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0568688610710207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05292538769074034,0.06799329679510382,0.0,0.09732004286678707,0.0,0.16470616018975215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06479395428174856,0.0,0.2067590520360283,0.1657705465408427,0.12017715240419467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134591968932332,0.04405079146763124,0.0,0.0,0.2004368711695079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875199065781512,0.0,0.0567241054180325,0.040549212593170916,0.05456877537767632,0.05514530974183465,0.0,0.0,0.06372986628543068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491080356585128,0.05004919121191758,0.0,0.0,0.1953457572324928,0.0,0.0,0.2656278374552613
divorce,jalterwhitman,2018/02/22,"Not sure how I'm feeling right now. My STBXH and I were together for 5 years, married less than 1, with a one year old. After a few rough moments here and there, we've finally decided to be done for good this past weekend. He packed all his stuff and went back to living with his mom and I'm still living in our apartment with our baby until I cut my lease short and move back in with my parents to save money (we're only 24 & 25).

Part of me is actually quite relieved tbh. His mother, to put it mildly, was a nightmareeee. I'm truly happy to just never having to deal with her again or having her presence looming in the background of our relationship (she's actually the reason why we're divorcing, but that's another story). My ex was/is a great person but he is a puppet of her manipulation and never learned to be an independant, functioning adult. I put up with the laziness, the money spending, the crazy mil, and the multiple times in our short marriage that he'd leave us for weeks when he didn't like my attitude, for far too long and I just want to move forward. I know that I definitely have my faults and I'm not a saint by a long shot, but I didn't deserve all the crap. My child sure doesn't either.

On the other hand, I'm miserable. He was my first love. The one who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with and the one who I so badly wanted to be happy with. I thought we'd make anything work because we had this bond that I didn't think I could find with anyone else (cheesy, I know). I miss getting home from work and telling him funny things that happened and I miss sending him pictures of food and things I know he'd like on Instagram. One side of me is excited about starting new, but the other side is broken emotionally.

I really just wanted to let all this out. I've been holding in these feelings for a bit, so thanks for letting me vent, Reddit.",3.5066741071428567,4.6118432239583385,4.7544047619047625,85.40250000000003,72.48958333333334,7.5690476190476215,26.214285714285715,7.957251820313856,1.4242785714285715,1474,48,308,20,28,488,208,384,0.111,0.7659999999999999,0.123,0.8346,1,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,7,0,0,4,16,20,2,1,21,0,26,5,2,5,7,64,51,23,0,4,11,4,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,3,17,24,1,1,12,1,4,7,8,7,0,5,12,4,47,13,46,30,9,47,1,3,0,1,38,17,1,1,27,204,64,3,0.0,0.0,0.19274334825122533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1070021556331522,0.0,0.0,0.10355434530293203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0690525371412872,0.10118725948453228,0.0812678272864756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518746369345204,0.08245718959012953,0.060200780865240784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10781604585245366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884868239137621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181316709366388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106174230807644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824980205649169,0.11108728140531783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09986806793795168,0.0,0.0,0.10818244251981364,0.09026125468570384,0.08400185880488106,0.1194162263187318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05159596818069374,0.0,0.0,0.08283190223258223,0.0,0.10887891077570107,0.0,0.0,0.08732966251250429,0.21025533602282492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906038570331333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628212525976726,0.0,0.0,0.10456841403980564,0.0,0.2019695356598689,0.0697543295767734,0.09649445041474047,0.0,0.17440683013870456,0.17479202046614814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08913120474445871,0.0,0.06592044052769153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566191026142555,0.0,0.20992413734826687,0.0,0.0,0.15233353155529164,0.0953792233799282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1036278781100886,0.0,0.2676786630487076,0.07510843787797387,0.0,0.0,0.10965692366720152,0.10694319515196377,0.09427383893430318,0.0,0.08622998713413302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19855424473014785,0.0,0.10503923170878103,0.0,0.0,0.06326566430779795,0.10153768306112723,0.0,0.10602705584565984,0.0,0.0843371402829271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990005140576902,0.0,0.07886672142051013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11305206773527565,0.0,0.0,0.1861528458747912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08631715403527622,0.09092131675176474,0.0,0.0,0.1312182833854879,0.0632788991321555,0.0,0.15680256958313912,0.0575854559272561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11879138719821852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17474665821546267,0.0,0.07921615881360851,0.0,0.0,0.09154786204794564,0.08911198852687482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379118362366167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12719133658377932
divorce,divorceusername,2018/02/22,Too afraid to upset the apple cart- amicable divorce Deleted for privacy- thanks everyone! ,11.138571428571431,14.005010000000004,10.941428571428574,41.553571428571416,56.14285714285714,14.171428571428573,49.714285714285715,13.023866798666859,8.609371428571428,76,5,7,3,1,25,14,14,0.146,0.674,0.179,0.1511,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7201269158780674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6938423632410626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,PurpleIsManly,2018/02/22,"Going on 2 years since filing and still not finished. Need some advice So, there is a lot of history to lay down, which I will gladly do if requested, but the gist of what brings me here today is this:

My divorce has taken over 2 years, we went to court and got a judges divorce decree in August of 2017. Then my attorney took about a month to draft up the agreement, it went back and forth a couple times, each time taking around 2 weeks to a month for an update. 

In November, we had the 'last' round of discussion between attorneys and I haven't been able to reach my attorney since. He had some personal trauma in his family in December, so I gave him some time, but now he won't respond to emails, texts, calls, anything. 

Well, the ex and I want this to be over, obviously, and i'm continuing to pay for an attorney I can't reach. So the Ex and I have started trying to hash out details of the final decree between ourselves, so she can send to her attorney to write up.

This has been a fairly high conflict divorce and we were married for 11 years with 6 kids, so there was a lot to deal with. The only sticking points at this time are:

1. While my attorney wrote the draft, her attorney slipped in a line (and didn't mention it in his list of changes) that said ""Either party, upon written request, shall provide the other with the previous year's W-S, tax returns or other income information for the purpose of reviewing child support. ""  I don't agree with having this in there at all, as we already have to abide by the state guidelines, which allows reviews and modifications (State of Oklahoma).

2. She wants the kids every Christmas. She is willing to let me have them every Thanksgiving and from the 28th of December until they go back to school (usually a week and a half). I would get more overall time, but I would be sacrificing every Christmas with my kids for the next 16 years. I don't want to do it, and i'm not sure how to work this out.

Any advice on how to handle the rest of this would be great. Obviously, with an 11 year marriage, 6 kids and a 2 year divorces, there are a ton more details and I will do my best to answer any questions.

Thank you!

EDIT 1: For what it's worth, we had mediation which hashed out some of these details and the decree from the judge was purely for finances. Unfortunately, I have not been able to get any copies of the mediation paperwork and since my attorney won't respond, I can't get it. I have requested it many times. Some of the things she is asking for are contrary to what we agreed to in Mediation. ",5.677438943894387,5.774647493069308,6.303316831683168,79.85292904290431,67.13861386138615,9.347194719471947,30.892739273927393,9.120678840339163,2.4438699669966994,2004,71,399,33,30,656,238,505,0.034,0.884,0.08199999999999999,0.9722,1,0,0,0,4,0,66.0,6,1,2,2,19,9,0,0,35,0,47,0,0,3,5,71,73,33,0,8,9,2,1,0,0,9,0,1,0,6,24,34,0,1,3,0,4,7,11,1,1,1,19,2,41,8,79,41,15,68,0,0,1,0,51,24,0,10,35,286,65,8,0.18517717860292626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809529957706532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10217381065528834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888902471690262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619251993601997,0.08242347439915923,0.0865578324560468,0.0,0.0,0.14238982004056827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971660122098691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454330170167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794645067212504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10244751299895498,0.0,0.0,0.09545477001849524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23402963939878424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08728428181999225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142627388526193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451211493707542,0.0,0.1052404580097985,0.0,0.07405155299297997,0.1020792465712973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782492806329524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07547205791508943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09467810562959512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574310152496355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387029719795516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14780665726752046,0.0,0.0,0.06865326578127977,0.0,0.0,0.09846901511675016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07041779436538721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084478486966458,0.0,0.0,0.08752614416671976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103720409911744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08807295099929914,0.0,0.0,0.09370459544194963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297707135627561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553468005842941,0.0,0.07394136701770497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050684339148765,0.08726364967568329,0.0,0.0696150963625886,0.0,0.0,0.0852431333595021,0.0,0.0,0.061511744602054386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32393490599636826,0.0,0.08776315655820151,0.0,0.10286932948993947,0.06286157446107124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197325029819317,0.0,0.16383344657290055,0.0,0.14853796296004174,0.0,0.08324826122457657,0.17166109977567745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06740559573624158,0.0,0.0,0.19731683203006506,0.0,0.0,0.4173681111180004
divorce,DruidOfFail,2018/02/22,"and lies, lies, lies. Found some old cards from her.

""I'm such a lucky girl!! You support me in life's big decisions and you gave me a beautiful daughter! I am very excited about what the future holds for us! Thank you for being a fabulous husband! I love you!

""I appreciate all that you do for us girls and how hard you works so I can stay home with (kid)!!

""To my best friend, I will always be here for life's ups and downs. Merry Christmas.""

Oh where do I start. Yeah, first one was maybe a little true. Maybe. I don't know anymore. It was right after our first kiddo was born so probably. Second one though, holy shit. She was a stay at home mom for all of six months before ditching that and going back to school (she already had a Masters) to change careers. Let's not even talk about how when she quit her job to stay at home she sent us into bankruptcy, we lost our house, our cars and oh yeah, our health insurance too, with a two year old in the house!

The last one though, oh yay. ""My best friend"". What a crock of shit. Here's something you don't do to your best friend: tell them ""you will have another baby with me or I will find someone who will"" and then justify breaking up the family with ""I have hopes and dreams that I need to have fulfilled"". 

It's been almost a year since the decision to divorce was made. Almost five months since I moved out. I'm still angry. I'm still just *hurt*. I never had a family. My family was horrible growing up. Mental and physical abuse. No one to turn to. No one to confide in. years and years of walking on egg shells. Trying to be perfect. So I made my own family. And she took it away and destroyed it because she has ""hopes and dreams"". God Damn it. 

Part of the problem is I never leave. I work from my apartment so I sit here all day every day and I interact with no one except emails, messages and phones. I only really interact with my kids when it's my turn to have them. 

Yeah, I know, it's unhealthy. But it's all unhealthy. My whole life's just been dog shit. Other than my kids I'm pretty sure no one loves me or ever has. The few who ever did are all dead and gone. 

Sorry for the rant. Hope is eternal I guess. One day I'll crawl out of my hole. I start a new job in a few weeks. One where I can go be among the living again, and not stuck in my bedroom looking at the outside world wishing I could be a part of everyone. I take my pills for my depression and I am chipper when I talk to people but honestly, everyone I've ever trusted has ripped me up and never cared for me at all. So how long will that last anyway?

Anyway, I guess at least I'm not being poisoned by a toxic cloud every single day anymore. ",0.6679058122205674,2.8762684981818185,2.3009388971684075,94.62517883755592,84.92727272727274,5.352011922503727,18.65275707898659,6.712420376136187,0.021559165424739124,2054,53,455,24,61,670,257,550,0.08900000000000001,0.7759999999999999,0.135,0.9689,2,0,1,0,2,0,89.0,8,9,2,11,34,32,6,0,24,4,43,12,3,5,15,79,79,37,1,7,10,3,1,0,3,5,6,0,4,5,17,29,1,1,6,2,0,9,12,10,0,15,20,2,73,22,62,46,18,81,0,3,1,2,53,28,4,11,39,318,90,6,0.0,0.07129213208547684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050400782624884,0.0,0.06639957661317253,0.0,0.050066626113106666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06309395254565399,0.0,0.0,0.11934581611405415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05653210893388023,0.04626735414918288,0.0,0.03667934165400272,0.0,0.05120061255461851,0.0,0.18943549322122874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06134777358215158,0.0,0.06365234705137696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04804120011126152,0.0,0.0,0.15521982372168788,0.0,0.05182471167882161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03974200804353879,0.1632828230156273,0.10139238141588236,0.11499086765871695,0.0,0.0,0.22689334265452865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054994691948380636,0.10236189080578982,0.0,0.06597378158651633,0.13946259771908964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683924951962756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13256904635212485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390089543156439,0.0,0.0,0.06395836386964207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810675715181813,0.179288470251832,0.0,0.13885721791040306,0.0644137003398118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941975421055175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613620030313122,0.09809387864751028,0.0,0.06371180788118012,0.0,0.06152835142414216,0.12750048336347994,0.0,0.060306588076809615,0.05313160076585309,0.05324894581868345,0.050528015165995095,0.0,0.06568314294585867,0.0,0.1086123423605792,0.113869450103046,0.0,0.0,0.12089858858304395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060637651135723586,0.0,0.0,0.07047089193626963,0.09605494206615152,0.06395165514924983,0.0,0.04461561873588239,0.13922145781924974,0.05811298575806004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12627750974153698,0.0,0.3669574254230005,0.045762330893872265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13031744559361466,0.0,0.041714606830789716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06121496899651361,0.06487391105390904,0.05757498474618751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06399866931202679,0.0,0.0,0.03854672452351894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0513852268707888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06089569748010599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18529227551724986,0.09954721926506307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050982218428998034,0.04632214426238408,0.0,0.0673558811916199,0.08517789405037147,0.19240104886216614,0.09610438198764967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06828070209590252,0.05670992747578098,0.0,0.04524068246760493,0.0967254406799888,0.0525916165530856,0.05539685686527915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11823430331178415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06685157263692006,0.040851778970392265,0.13089632037176602,0.058777776631832486,0.0,0.21713289166547195,0.0,0.0,0.049646914438918666,0.0,0.0,0.048265097426996036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717814728823444,0.0691930363319204,0.0,0.0,0.08760959368237976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15499116200598595
divorce,NowWhattianBogHog,2018/02/22,"It's a small world... My divorce was final in January, more than a month after I moved out. The ex has had a girlfriend, for what I assume is a while. She's been staying over more often that not, even when my kids are with him (which is 50% of the time). He refuses to let me meet her yet. Which, is ok for now, I'm giving him time.

Which was fine, until tonight. I haven't dated much since getting divorced, my choice. I have no intention of being serious with anyone for a while. Dating is fun!!! So... I'm in the middle of a date with a really cool guy. He's awesome. We're drunk and about to eat nachos (no intention of sexy times, just a cool relaxed date). When in walks his sister. I guess they're close and she stops by often. She grabs him and they disappear outside for a sec. I eat some nachos and drink some more beer. He walks back in and says ""So, we're gonna have to cut this short, my sister is dating your ex, and that's too weird for me"".

Mind. Blown. Fuck. Fuck this and this small fucking state. She apparently instantly recognised me, but I had no clue who she was! I waved and smiled from across the room like a total dork. He came back in, she definitely didn't. 

Still, a year of being on my own, my ex manages to have control over my fucking life. That controlling prick is taking shit away from me every day. However trivial it is at the time. A first date, of a stranger I had only known an hour. It's the principle of it. Fuck it all. 12 years of controlling every thing I did, and I finally thought I was out.

I may have cried in the dudes house while I sobered up enough to drive home. Which is now so very embarrassing. Who wants a complete stranger crying on their couch!!?",0.7568800948569745,3.0241144508670565,2.1936994219653165,95.1364865866311,85.12716763005781,5.398428931376909,18.98740180821105,6.788186056548923,0.06495369793982553,1304,35,291,16,39,420,186,346,0.135,0.7829999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.9554,2,0,2,0,2,0,68.0,0,1,2,4,17,19,8,1,22,3,29,13,2,5,2,39,44,19,0,1,3,5,1,1,1,2,1,1,3,2,19,16,5,5,3,4,0,6,6,12,0,1,12,4,39,7,44,27,10,64,0,0,0,5,34,23,7,7,34,197,58,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518499861457133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102464559094908,0.16536241592610634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298162104946055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11273944403644112,0.0,0.3618001929288029,0.0,0.0,0.2362255271853897,0.06934566910688575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533499178177236,0.0,0.22005281835455048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11110357336825306,0.0,0.0710202105208386,0.0,0.1811913546360384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355799548488976,0.0,0.09146194910903847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.497032382641165,0.05617813561644626,0.1031491751496305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845251465603042,0.10646809738344183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785780320603697,0.0,0.10589190025940948,0.12407109421258952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10995308707993544,0.07594911627735591,0.05253199535523139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10857106888411183,0.0,0.08582659184749128,0.1142836065777055,0.07904431780119381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08177871562117693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0688842015116587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550935413568704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11037436256956464,0.08894699610074522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146088959542205,0.0858707671899788,0.08989693248766176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08084651357917684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07143579992114125,0.0,0.0,0.08536399576997337,0.2507981663440731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872058782986701,0.06342189005524121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848702539735042
divorce,DivorcedLiftingStrea,2018/02/22,"15 months, 7 days a week, weight lifting streak. Hey there guys,

Just wanted to make a quick post. Its been 15 months since my ex wife left me. We were married for 3.5 years in California, no kids. I was 21, she was 22. Love of my life, truly loved her dearly. She left me because I didn't treat her right. She said I was distant, emotionally unavailable, rude, disrespectful, and overall, I was told I was ""emotionally unstable"". I was devastated. Numerous nights crying, wondering why she left. Wishing I could have another chance. Brain storming ways of getting her back, etc etc etc

When she left, I had just finished my undergrad and was at the beginning of a entering a professional program in L.A. I was overwhelmed with school and was overwhelmed with handling the burden of divorce. I had experienced significant trouble with focusing on academics considering that I was grieving.

Anyway, since November 2016, I have not missed a single day in the gym. 7 days a week, I have gone to the gym. I am truly proud of that. I made a vow to myself that I would not miss a gym session since she left. Some days, Id go twice, some days I go three times. 

I can honestly say Ive survived the storm of divorce, I have survived the grief and that comes with divorce (minus the children). I am currently 27 years old, in the best shape of my life, have survived a divorce, and currently noticing significant attention from women ;) 

Just thought Id share that. We can do this. Just gotta hang on for the storm. 

Cheers.

Photo update.
[Mid Marriage Bod...] (https://imgur.com/b6LzQYW)
[Post Marriage Bod..] (https://imgur.com/Ab764Ss)
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divorce,JustaHousePlant,2018/02/23,"Having a really hard time lately I love my husband, I really do. He's generally kind to me and financially supports me while I'm going to college (I supported him when he was enlisted in the army before we were married. Those guys don't make shit). We honestly never fought about money until recently, and I wouldn't even say that's what we are fighting about. Here are my grievances:

1) My husband is being deployed again to Afghanistan. He is in a combat unit. He initially got out of the army after his last deployment, then rejoined because I have an autoimmune disease and need regular treatment. Buying health care for myself was so expensive we couldn't afford it (he's a vet so covered by the VA, but I'm not.) Now I feel he resents me because of his upcoming deployment, which he pretty much wants nothing to do with (he's 37, with a group of guys in their 20s with little experience). He won't admit it though, but reminds me about the upcoming deployment all the time, and I feel guilty. This causes me extreme anxiety and full blown panic attacks because I have a fear of being abandoned.

2) he doesn't listen to me when I try to talk to him about his behavior that upsets me. This includes being intentionally rude to strangers and friends in public, having no filter and saying super inappropriate things (even to my boss/mentor about me) at inappropriate times, refusing to apologize or recognize when he should apologize, and telling me ""that's just the way i am"" and ""I'm not going to change"". His father is exactly like this and I see the way his mother cowtows to his every demand and I'm not that type of girl, which he knew full well before we married.

3) he used to call me by a specific endearing nickname unique to him, but I have not heard him call me that in 2 years. I assume this is because he is no longer in love with me/attracted to me. He rarely tries to ""put the moves on me"" and sometimes sleeps in a different bedroom.

4) I have a history of extreme child abuse, sexual assault, homelessness and abandonment issues. I am working through this. He came from a well to do family, went to Catholic school in a nicer area in NY and his parents have been married for 45 years.

5) I 100% know he isn't cheating on me. We live in an ultra small community where everybody knows everybody else's business and I definitely would have found out. His best friends gf is a really good friend of mine and I know she would tell me, because she don't play that shit.

I guess in asking for insight/advice. I really really don't want to get a divorce but he's pushing me closer and closer to that line. I love my husband I just don't love his behavior and I feel he has fallen out of love with me. Any input is appreciated.",4.656821407451211,5.888412050561798,5.844833431894344,78.1873092844471,69.8801498127341,9.06674551547408,30.157500492805053,9.414487439383343,2.7501992509363298,2161,86,405,46,38,722,258,534,0.125,0.706,0.168,0.9846,3,0,0,0,4,0,68.0,6,0,1,3,22,34,9,3,22,0,42,9,3,4,3,74,80,32,0,8,11,6,4,1,4,5,1,4,1,4,19,33,0,3,10,1,3,8,16,14,2,0,11,9,69,20,64,60,5,53,0,2,1,5,79,25,2,3,19,269,88,4,0.0,0.09958578144666998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08213291438034832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057157040265048135,0.0,0.06429819776163496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07857562138481047,0.0956192732869714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25618120784939785,0.0,0.14304111443003314,0.0,0.08820553345939505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17164936940288097,0.0961310746749045,0.08569481362777899,0.08634274141882133,0.08891400125929641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781460372060264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021318411405407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102877166109887,0.0,0.07081594588820275,0.0,0.0,0.08221725530226089,0.07923507886609155,0.09457987885150024,0.12749496884700176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215674159397967,0.19481100326451573,0.0,0.043912777404922616,0.0,0.09553536806898506,0.07049734723510308,0.06722264901779135,0.0,0.09259080694057112,0.16644588895029114,0.0,0.0,0.07529249911886235,0.0,0.0,0.08934146671854537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0877266057322878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08752538308888946,0.13857542893802408,0.06851215747436704,0.09481232316369684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04106269802936247,0.08424041369405127,0.07421789511689814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3792930815900985,0.0,0.056104182815007626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08933209551385242,0.0617865917877066,0.06232218235825005,0.06482472079084199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064846487428448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861483813506933,0.09332783645114782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855093029963309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449369843301079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.269223655654012,0.0,0.08298946463972885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13368023673252175,0.0,0.0850633224578755,0.06697715323506635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725527115324415,0.0,0.0,0.08411093251351039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312782904286319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19075841546708175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06755639306972326,0.1469272156344887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055839239701669964,0.0,0.08257892662678018,0.0,0.14703109935094424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11412918125033635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259241457029475,0.0,0.0,0.0991500095200724,0.1334303245904831,0.0,0.0,0.15114250598286935,0.07791540753589843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06118957025036401,0.0,0.0,0.1194137472139802,0.0,0.0,0.10825118799356144
divorce,thepixiestyx,2018/02/23,"Filed an uncontested divorce in Brooklyn 4 months ago and there's still not even a court date. Anyone else have this problem? How long did it take? I'm 32/F and married for 4 1/2 years now. I just want the whole thing to be over already. 
",1.348775510204078,3.499520204081634,2.1993469387755127,96.74922448979594,81.65306122448979,4.736326530612245,22.044897959183675,5.6839178017228535,-0.05623591836734665,186,6,42,1,5,58,46,49,0.078,0.893,0.029,-0.4914,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,1,0,7,6,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,4,1,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,24,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27142676833758833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33789799877417304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21410132604980647,0.3137368637253287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25578981353419483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20224142487250155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27097630958987257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24440496726061103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29299090623012897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2445307636239756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23022339672492576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034248822554455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806039903122448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3418600341729874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19718199324751695
divorce,salmonwango,2018/02/23,"Ex not paying kids' expenses My ex-wife and I have 50/50 custody and agreed in our divorce that we would split all the kids' expenses for medical, school, child care and extracurricular activities. While it wasn't part of our decree, we agreed that we would settle up the previous month's expenses by the end of the first week of each month (so she should have paid my Feb. 7 for Jan expenses). We keep a shared spreadsheet where we each add expenses throughout the month. It all went well for the first year, but for the last couple months, she has stopped adding her expenses or paying me. She owes me several hundred dollars because I covered the bigger expenses (tuition, after school care, etc.) since December. I've reminded her several times that she's behind schedule and asked her to take care of it, but she doesn't even acknowledge me. I really don't want to go back to the lawyer for this, but I'm at my wit's end. Anyone else ever been through this? How did you resolve it?",5.994929078014183,6.768324308510637,5.960425531914892,80.23333333333333,66.55319148936171,9.88368794326241,31.092198581560282,9.928628108626363,2.8858496453900697,782,29,150,17,12,246,115,188,0.022,0.868,0.11,0.9404,1,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,7,1,0,3,7,6,0,0,10,0,11,1,0,1,3,29,23,11,0,4,5,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,3,9,12,0,2,2,0,13,2,4,0,1,2,5,0,25,6,19,15,6,25,0,0,0,0,23,5,0,1,18,99,34,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09485786647211784,0.1390015189336804,0.0,0.0,0.1268254454265213,0.0,0.0,0.10431553008225618,0.0,0.08269815808719737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41494865904503386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15010717228310316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332800419699456,0.0,0.2403121299204937,0.0,0.15129873825817036,0.08960332207948947,0.12271384110476664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23078767083154186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770997123267924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058241775636333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058245211024527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666496467142955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4331357339493755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14690848078572885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690840605754839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27459391526403754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.306518379409661,0.0,0.11222082110386936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341931735455192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10200077051465864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07910547121399891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08001682901013524,0.0,0.1088196918789606,0.0,0.12197622689028832,0.1257598233672955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927404634357838,0.0,0.0,0.08736173442395131
divorce,cannedunicornmeat,2018/02/23,Probably a stupid question but what do I wear to court when we go in to file? I’d usually ask him but now I guess I can’t do that anymore....,-1.6809374999999989,0.1615377812500043,1.5425000000000004,98.2525,93.0625,5.7,20.5,7.1686216300943375,0.4319749999999996,107,4,28,2,4,38,26,32,0.081,0.919,0.0,-0.29600000000000004,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,1,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,6,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,6,0,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,3,18,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3741876689189663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3527315933704167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21443255559615967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41564676534538697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4068013163983879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4226707672212097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155509217159151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Showmedamemes,2018/02/23,"How do you handle regret? Hi everyone. I'm 38(m) and have been divorced for a few months. How do you guys cope with the regret about how you handled things during the marriage? I made so many mistakes and could have possibly fixed things at so many points but like a selfish, hard headed idiot, I chose to continue my behavior. It's really weighing down on me.... ",3.774347826086956,5.912730130434787,4.45731884057971,83.58858695652177,73.78260869565217,7.498550724637681,25.99275362318841,8.344100000000001,1.8653362318840587,285,10,52,5,6,91,54,69,0.215,0.742,0.043,-0.9001,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,3,0,0,6,6,1,0,4,0,6,2,1,4,0,12,8,8,0,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,2,1,7,1,7,5,1,6,0,2,0,0,7,4,0,0,3,36,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2088860014159652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24999357310966924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590495447281986,0.0,0.0,0.2343643059158352,0.0,0.26850237858865483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12781659309103935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475555779245026,0.0,0.5304926807078185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20882630656573856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473198670773657,0.2949424929081189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676034556745623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3476235962068452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,the_ro_show,2018/02/23,"Selling your engagement ring? I'm trying to do some research for a startup idea. I'm trying to make the diamond industry more transparent and make it easier (and safer) to sell your diamond for a fair price.

What are the best tools, products, websites I should be looking at?

Thanks!",4.149807692307693,6.795928211538468,4.804461538461538,79.14053846153845,74.57692307692308,8.775384615384615,31.55384615384615,9.3871,3.4506107692307686,225,11,38,6,5,72,39,52,0.0,0.66,0.34,0.962,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,1,0,3,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,2,0,7,10,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,6,8,3,2,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,1,1,24,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818143421887194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4107167765040974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055233295194984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4857151431527595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349633287354133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.494029757029862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,IPlugInKeyboards,2018/02/23,"Where to chat? Howdy, all. My wife of 16 years is slowly leaving me. I believe she's in the midst of her own midlife crisis and is wants to assert her independence and prove something to the world. She's been, in my vulnerable state of opinion, telling me some rather cruel things. She was my person I spoke with, and she is no longer. I have no one to speak with. 

Can someone PLEASE recommend some support groups or a place to actively chat with similar people? Reddit is great and all, but I've sadly been unsuccessful crossing that bridge to where the humans live...

Thanks, folks.",3.766363636363636,6.097911090909093,3.8254545454545488,87.22818181818184,74.45454545454545,6.581818181818183,24.63636363636364,7.554174236665415,1.1722909090909093,460,15,88,6,10,141,75,110,0.14,0.746,0.113,-0.5012,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,4,0,9,0,0,1,3,18,13,6,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,2,7,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,2,0,1,4,2,14,3,14,9,5,9,0,1,0,0,15,6,0,4,1,60,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.303303959779132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29680152922222186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2850512094054049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377146020435769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1824215451068483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866341502844092,0.2350610587843512,0.2812638858078397,0.2955083065973449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22809811092567014,0.20724860404007805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3054927706303014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352986738502308,0.24784952070666996,0.0,0.0,0.17884908515919576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15878518933039998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17336040070998293
divorce,thrownawaymalife,2018/02/23,"I want to leave I will be divorced about a year and a half this month. We were separated for about 5 months prior. I’m 46 M and have 2 kids, 16m and 13f. I love them to death and have 50/50 custody. I own my own home and have a stable 6 figures job. We had an amicable divorce and have been working together well to raise the children. But, I’m very lonely. We were together 24 years and married for 17. I haven’t dated anyone but her since I was 20. It’s been really hard for me to meet women. I’m an Asian living in a predominantly white suburbia. There’s not a lot of Asian women I can meet around here. I tried online dating but I can’t find anyone I like or that likes me. I don’t have family here except my 2 kids. And when they are at their mom’s, I’m very lonely. I really want to move to the west coast, where my family are. But that means leaving my kids and my job. Also, I don’t even know how my ex and my kids will think of the idea. Can I give up my custody and move away? I don’t know what to do but I can’t stay here any longer. Thoughts about ending it all have crossed my mind. The manly think to do is to suck it up and drive on. But I don’t know how much more I can take",0.1744318181818194,1.7763992765151568,2.5185515151515148,95.81432727272728,82.75,5.739151515151516,16.99939393939394,6.742157984588678,-0.37770133333333344,915,17,229,10,25,313,137,264,0.063,0.873,0.064,-0.1841,2,4,0,0,2,0,28.0,3,0,3,1,15,7,1,0,11,0,30,1,0,2,1,42,47,23,1,2,9,2,1,2,0,2,0,0,1,8,7,16,0,0,10,0,0,4,8,3,1,1,7,2,36,4,25,37,6,23,0,2,1,1,23,9,1,2,11,147,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10900858687087173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09269677457338717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19062491672238485,0.0,0.0,0.12134650158666947,0.0,0.0,0.1280695285465552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207318946155565,0.0,0.0,0.09003273236422793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2570054785865478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12458661817534145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307628069774961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12210869886760145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1367319620461191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15387955683577548,0.0,0.0,0.27053707900369883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2247403861031192,0.0,0.0,0.28866926608858023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319022975829295,0.0,0.12036591574825492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11588751312075088,0.12302682265688547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848363350047145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376361730788344,0.15964686399881356,0.2176057355186721,0.2897559804222271,0.1002049396547442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464980273475775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11275862231062647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529036143842933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024895936843106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468633850006685,0.0,0.10821643203161192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0925468405777218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2249432064676757,0.16080059497152835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1225607793946454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09923669548734378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17556080448197556
divorce,ExcitingLaw,2018/02/24,"How to handle a home equity buyout My wife and I are divorcing and we have one child.  Wife is moving out, I'm keeping the house and primary physical custody of our child.  There are two options I was considering regarding buying out my wife's share of the home equity:  

1. I can give her a lump sum(say $30k for argument's sake) and refinance it into my mortgage.  I don't like that I'd have to take on and pay interest on the additional debt but whatever.

2. I can waive her child support(for now we'll say $330/mo for a 4-year old) until the equity is ""paid"".  I would want her to be off the deed before we start this - does that mean I need to 
refinance, anyways?  If somehow this didn't cover the equity then I suppose I'd pay her the balance by a certain date.

Which one of these is the better option?  Are there other options even better?
",2.393859649122806,4.2292121286549715,4.589333333333332,82.46400000000001,76.83625730994152,8.302690058479532,24.85029239766082,9.029198982220553,2.042775906432748,658,23,133,16,15,228,106,171,0.038,0.862,0.1,0.8965,2,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,4,0,0,2,7,6,0,0,12,0,16,1,0,1,1,24,25,10,0,4,2,3,0,1,0,2,1,1,2,3,8,11,0,1,1,0,5,1,2,0,0,3,3,1,19,6,17,19,0,13,0,0,0,0,18,6,0,5,7,89,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16927725556844309,0.0,0.0,0.35187998818543315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1740875314216128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13139331185174258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083457565517484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990918604257429,0.0,0.0,0.22954187060426096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682071213881514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09718857205976512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2166962597833915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21143420229936274,0.0,0.14750623319284722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20874662648090256,0.0,0.2696041784864843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3163988715830339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080573864780718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257467104861465,0.0,0.0,0.14957279192685632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19432854843362726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733578536507053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14131623265151386,0.0,0.0,0.1281062727215878
divorce,Emotionalcarrot,2018/02/24,"Got the house don't want to live in it but to lazy/motivated to move. I have officially been divorced since the 7th. She gave me full ownership of the house. Very fair separation with no kids involved. I'm doing good, had a few moments of sadness when you think of plans the two of us had that never came to be but nothing that kept me sad for more than a few minutes. 

I'm in a weird state of mind about what to do with my house now. It's a pain to keep up with a full time job and activities outside of work. I teach yoga and meditation part time now. So I'm usually at the studio 4 days a week. I think I want to move out of it. 

I love the floor plan and a lot of things about it. Like the privacy, not worrying about the volume of your music, and my backyard. However I also hate living in the suburbs away from good restaurants and single people hangouts. At some point I'd like to date, lol thats if I ever actually ask anyone out ever again. I don't know if I'm just wanting to move right now because I'm lonely or that I may still feel a bit overwhelmed by this new lifestyle and have not fully adjusted to it yet. I've been living alone since 0ct 2016 but during the separation and the last 8 months of the divorce process I was not able to truly accept the reality of it and learn to adapt to it. My life was literally on hold that entire time it felt like and I'm sure its the same for those currently going through it or have gone through it. 

For those that have gone through this, do you suggest just holding off on any decisions at this point and if so how long did it take for you to get back into the groove of things and start planning out your future goals again?",4.287974025974023,4.514862171428575,5.280259740259741,85.54155844155844,70.14285714285714,8.306493506493506,27.33766233766233,8.150884317080207,1.488371428571429,1320,40,291,17,22,435,191,350,0.091,0.7979999999999999,0.11,0.8356,3,3,0,0,2,0,24.0,1,5,0,5,20,15,1,1,23,1,18,3,0,1,4,58,46,24,0,6,13,0,2,3,0,1,2,0,2,1,26,19,0,4,9,2,0,7,7,7,0,1,14,2,22,8,57,30,11,56,0,4,0,1,15,21,0,8,30,198,48,5,0.10586644227147926,0.0,0.10331037623907036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964570654478152,0.0,0.08466135563600985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07199281105959912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07402427795360672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09897083260461392,0.0,0.09946500742422952,0.08140475936127549,0.0,0.06453520059190229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1155787357923003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108300681654945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827509715285264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19152451600551304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535292541431361,0.0,0.10164838665575042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05531084661058009,0.0,0.0601663388360012,0.17759149795596765,0.08467106496805453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10452119414584513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664669814419953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10505610849442013,0.09409895816008727,0.0,0.0,0.05818142802575404,0.08629528025708126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477659901899893,0.1551629885198767,0.0,0.2804460242665519,0.09368846998760308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000386339940991,0.09554859745187708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689492756391533,0.0,0.08450158419632063,0.3375578219619394,0.0,0.0,0.08165072673891058,0.10224646964135196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015817065932217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264935871601832,0.0,0.0,0.11464304037052513,0.0,0.07339446124283353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001560140094884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040936325543016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17514763008119202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493281273134103,0.0,0.08454507755126177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09977786896298817,0.0,0.07959838934685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1406659202405293,0.13566988301596256,0.0,0.0,0.18519472153162864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10341613110352517,0.0,0.1273442950613578,0.0,0.11659692946372795,0.08735090210472697,0.18732831166997135,0.0,0.08491967422482315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707203083687897,0.10751251100608557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,northerncrusher,2018/02/24,"Possible that I’m an emotional abuse victim but afraid to leave my very young kids. I could use some help so if anybody has some advice it will be greatly appreciated.

My marriage is in the gutter and I suspect I may be the victim of emotional abuse.

8 years ago I was working overseas on a long contract and married a local Eastern European girl (we dated for nearly two years before we got engaged). We lived for another two years in her home country and then I brought her home to my home in Canada.

Fast forward and today we have a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 6 month old girl. I love my kids to pieces and spend all my time with them.

My wife, however, is another story. She always had wild mood swings (I didn’t see them before we got married, and brushed them away after). She can be loving and fun one day and the next, everything is suddenly my fault. One day something I do is fine, such as leaving a coffee cup on the counter, and the next day I’m worse than Hitler for doing that.

Of the inverse: one day I get criticized and nagged for doing something, so I stop doing it, and then get in shit for not doing it.

Dishes are a prime example of this. No matter what I do, it’s not good enough. I went and bought a dishwasher to ease the constant arguments but she refuses to use it and if I do, she gets mad because I “cheated”. She wants to see the labour put in and the results up to her exacting standards.

I keep jumping from foot to foot because I never know if something is going to cause an argument followed by five days of silent treatment.

When she enters a room my stress level goes up. I literally sometimes jump into the washroom if I hear her approach, because without fail she’ll criticize me or spout some negative comment the moment she sees me.

After our first she was diagnosed with post-partum depression and given a mild dose of something, but I suspect there is more here than that. She was hard to live with before she ever got pregnant.

Now she’s completely unapproachable and unwavering in her belief that everything bad that has ever happened is all my fault. 

Yesterday I asked if there was any cream cheese left, a fairly innocent question as I wanted a bagel and cream cheese for lunch, and she laid into me about how I ate it all and bought her the wrong bagels that she doesn’t even like and that I don’t do anything anyways.

I asked if she was okay if I went and had a nap because I was up at 5 am to work and she rolled her eyes and said I might as well as I do whatever I want anyways.

When I woke up I left and sat at McDonalds for an hour because my home is no place for me to be in.

Then, in the evening, she took our 6-month old to bathe her and put her to bed. The baby was crying and my wifewas yelling at her to shut up while stomping around angrily and slamming doors. My son was with me downstairs in the living room and was stressed and wanted to cry so I distracted him with some games.

I slept on the sofa and have been avoiding that monster ever since, and will continue to do so.

It gets worse. We’re a week away from moving to a new city and into a new apartment (temporary while we wait to buy a new house). I’m terrified of leaving her because I don’t want to lose access to my kids. I can’t imagine not seeing them every day.

I love reading bedtime stories and playing games at the supper table and I’m excited for when they’re older and I can do so much more with them.

I also read that divorce at such a young age can be devastating and the thought of my young son being messed up for life almost brings me to tears. He is super attached to me.

I just don’t know what to do!

Thanks for reading thus far!",4.247935222672067,5.0080054116059385,5.126912010796222,84.70120202429153,70.4574898785425,7.925300944669366,28.990040485829958,8.043390162373402,1.816547724696356,2874,105,587,37,50,938,341,741,0.174,0.735,0.091,-0.9972,2,1,4,0,4,0,65.0,8,0,5,6,27,35,6,5,38,1,60,15,5,6,8,111,110,67,0,13,16,3,1,1,0,5,3,3,10,6,19,53,4,5,8,8,4,15,14,19,1,7,29,12,102,15,91,69,12,109,1,3,7,3,67,41,1,16,56,413,121,7,0.0,0.14242582541377352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05873252162269928,0.053278196192815784,0.0,0.060185052257041516,0.0,0.0,0.04806481027773885,0.05001099238617552,0.0,0.0,0.040872494645820656,0.12604768586746806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04946012422255778,0.05350492785985386,0.11237746564377643,0.0,0.1129385816044275,0.0,0.05018397779719544,0.2198315027712304,0.0,0.15343115624678924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617429317540132,0.0,0.0,0.06301745888771584,0.06495061653066052,0.0,0.04798781702524338,0.0,0.1320419182023156,0.23257101661270174,0.0,0.051767124378025435,0.06100386734486329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521687293263265,0.0,0.06210306363360371,0.0,0.0793956939373807,0.16310138414719474,0.05063985741270528,0.0,0.10803444230751112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05112407345122416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12560655702554702,0.0,0.03415824893817924,0.05041203032994177,0.14421096767694452,0.06626440784739851,0.0,0.0,0.05314939626669857,0.0,0.053841001088154684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06774110153958399,0.0,0.04028616196253645,0.0,0.24115516046216398,0.0,0.05918991820628897,0.06935146031204954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053422822459196884,0.0,0.0,0.06606271016421883,0.0,0.0,0.19092303513663691,0.13060542852499918,0.0,0.042452935203579616,0.02936357266865652,0.0,0.15921768377382986,0.05318977591767283,0.0,0.06724053081380861,0.0,0.0,0.16273747949088346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376039905176173,0.0,0.0,0.09594820640544968,0.06388059246347327,0.0441830460484992,0.0,0.0463555852639333,0.17414523289737588,0.12784167589776632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18920578642434152,0.0,0.1221832215297874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06279544748558318,0.0,0.0,0.06775775440528005,0.057562614358063376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12084139489359227,0.06732976364290394,0.0,0.18035953114435674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05717226705102368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915790827725256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061695459960199275,0.049718301503711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508268552259888,0.05944397631013791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05024928316430096,0.13769689296827806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055335300218727325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047715527958312784,0.035046880157563916,0.0,0.056971165006452724,0.0,0.06677728758067125,0.0,0.0,0.11742492625607046,0.0,0.0,0.1038203889527122,0.0,0.049591747093017835,0.1772532401279864,0.0,0.04821146554765805,0.0,0.05404033552029778,0.11143323945992853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057937705193575086,0.0,0.08751224244084686,0.0,0.12250136324596388,0.0,0.0657138282357566,0.0,0.15481893678025768
divorce,gothustle,2018/02/24,"Move with child away from mother? I need help. About a year and a half ago I found out of my ex was cheating on me. It wasn’t the first time. And I ended my marriage. We have an 8-year-old daughter. Due to the circumstances of her cheating, I have sole custody of our daughter. We split our daughter’s free time 50/50, and we have a good coparenting relationship.

We've lived in our current city for about 6 years. We moved around a few times together before, and we never thought of our current city as permanent. We almost moved a couple times a few years ago due to potential relocation of job promotion, but never ended up moving. When I was married, my ex was always ready to move again.

My job is going well. And there is a high likelihood I’ll be asked to move to a different city for a big promotion in the next couple months. If I were to take the job, my daughter would move with me, but my daughter’s mother would not be able to. As such, I am faced with the dilemma of whether I should move my daughter away from her mother, or stay and significantly damage my career.

We live in a relatively small city, and my company is a promote from within organization. If I tell my company I’m no longer relocatable, my career with them will likely end in the next year or two. And there are not other great opportunities in this town for my skill set and passions.

**I know if I stay, not only will I blame my ex destroying my family, but also my career. If I go, I know I’ll be depriving my daughter of a strong relationship with her mother, and the pain of being away from her.**

I don’t know what to do. Advice is greatly appreciated.",2.7525867374005344,4.75285096,4.356689655172417,83.78800000000003,76.32307692307694,7.313527851458888,24.12997347480107,8.216663640201805,1.4484238726790457,1282,42,258,23,29,429,155,325,0.103,0.804,0.094,-0.5958,7,0,0,0,0,0,45.0,11,0,1,7,10,15,3,0,20,0,25,3,1,0,2,49,36,24,0,8,13,14,0,1,0,5,1,0,0,1,4,24,0,0,5,0,1,10,8,6,1,3,7,0,49,10,45,20,2,55,0,2,0,1,37,17,0,7,26,181,53,9,0.07649544762924619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475046609825856,0.1356171977042524,0.0,0.07659914105617348,0.0,0.0,0.06117338183206416,0.06365034035007723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06809716636671734,0.07151291740696131,0.0,0.21560997337149165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06509199177654927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16928151567018726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992146154647481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2032567846432511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211310010435673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06506698867571928,0.0,0.08387330999050732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.086948251451966,0.06416075216948103,0.0,0.16867300212779432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051273286091051605,0.08082164031180812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22772978499247234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12611969246475285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037371811777341564,0.0,0.1350937634363846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06105793648852409,0.6504204388775325,0.0,0.056720405146788624,0.11799601001287055,0.0,0.16270755275127152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08026910436755898,0.0,0.0,0.058178234938928736,0.08139654960758831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425496626340208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306793825921231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057515056641274175,0.0,0.06686039290129714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060728840793204876,0.17842044269083165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472493711050282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06877859415263575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10868034246840744,0.0,0.0,0.2463028013573397
divorce,sleeplessinalaska,2018/02/24,"Getting over your ex, new relationships We decided to separate few days ago. It wasn't entirely mutual since I wanted to seek counseling, but he already moved on. I've been in a really dark place lately and trying to not think about my situation and how much of a failure I feel right now. I think long term its probably for the best because there were major communication issues we couldnt get past, but the pain of separation is still very raw. I went on a trip without him for the first time, and everything reminded me of the things we used to do together. I started crying at a restaurant because the beer I ordered was the one we would always try together. 
Part of me feels like I don't want another relationship, I loved being married and it's hard to imagine being with someone else. 

How long did it take you to get over the pain of divorce and when did you start dating again if ever? 
As of now, I never want to get married again. I think I'm disappointed in the institution and maybe I just had an unrealistic expectation, but I just don't see myself getting married again. I'm not sure I would be able to trust another person. ",6.3303534303534335,6.46275620720721,7.388018018018018,72.51003118503121,65.75675675675676,10.794733194733196,33.29313929313929,10.560738912317856,3.497018295218295,906,36,170,22,13,307,139,222,0.123,0.7959999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.7586,0,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,4,3,0,2,14,8,0,0,13,0,17,4,0,3,3,40,39,14,0,8,9,1,3,1,0,2,2,0,0,1,5,11,1,0,7,1,0,3,8,3,0,2,8,4,25,5,27,25,6,35,0,1,1,1,15,9,0,1,23,119,30,0,0.11689226915192595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10361794372724586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289935257195581,0.0,0.09726373197884693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451434724609921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14251288464039488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226712247950392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12840066882529005,0.07538584334684123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976484915880659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573574965662233,0.0,0.0,0.10505523425672543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182084870058396,0.08350786043831565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942850442618484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30535693040695583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10471251317857627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220051594296549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185957107223786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05710765825105054,0.0,0.0,0.20689195962852133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10549983668850252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743399575194995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1242379830425988,0.08592926762353559,0.0,0.0901545241497774,0.11289528194876346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07920922677304837,0.0,0.2487632317908189,0.0,0.0,0.12658293642306306,0.11158689754146413,0.0,0.10206582067845643,0.12212754201250099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260296366468188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488418081634045,0.0,0.0,0.25099710271727865,0.0,0.09982535916723707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931480044209798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669449297385267,0.1313918081208536,0.0,0.0,0.09904244032267592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16547389949388142,0.0,0.09335031714062772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11016958031250786,0.0,0.0878884389798601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07765802957227091,0.22469953850878485,0.0,0.0,0.06816082216521567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15872435548818234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009573895980877,0.0,0.09644836399909948,0.20683826676020592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10836030459736694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267997615210446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607382840496704,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nolongerstronger,2018/02/24,"Really could use some Advice I've known it's the end for a long time now. My wife and I originally got married because we found out we were having our son and marriage made sense at the time. Well four years later and every bit of the spark we once had was gone.  Every but of intimacy is gone. Every bit of happiness is gone. The only problem is she doesn't have family to turn to other than mine. If we separate she will have no one for holidays, birthdays, vacations, support, etc. This really concerns me that she will go back to get Alcoholic, abusive (physically and emotionally) mother,  which would be horrible for our child. I also don't wish that on her. We might be done,  but we don't hate each other. Is divorce the way we should go? I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life,  but I also don't want to risk my son being around the horrible disease that my wife's mother is.  Please help!",3.418296703296704,4.828824785714289,5.0404395604395615,82.07956043956045,73.12087912087912,8.496703296703298,25.08791208791209,9.04235418022936,1.8918967032967031,709,22,143,15,14,240,112,182,0.149,0.72,0.131,-0.6835,0,0,1,0,1,0,23.0,9,0,0,0,6,6,1,1,8,0,27,2,0,3,0,32,43,10,0,8,4,6,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,1,8,14,1,0,2,1,0,5,6,3,1,2,10,0,23,3,18,23,6,19,0,0,0,0,23,4,0,3,9,104,31,0,0.0,0.16808792356766075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1386297404529214,0.0,0.1516115301206156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2269002586514729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12629075097121514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090861398082667,0.0,0.08648015140097191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3097616952725561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326839773452978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517809653021851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958007149706485,0.12565110190907414,0.0,0.15821800743792142,0.0,0.0,0.3585844824505072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337385687680068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15554866480200222,0.0,0.0,0.07411909074625384,0.0,0.16125134946686576,0.0,0.11346314027941015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510189156251852,0.0,0.140063230786289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09508973942219287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020409861752592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12554687976084122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423696883313893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049732801365442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510825805988095,0.09613202260233418,0.10789542902637056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1557261846036573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13574653124166935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18176588905279306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1609877710107134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544632396814954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543093890610375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12252661027134674,0.0,0.0,0.1673523968968168,0.11260656830505422,0.0,0.0,0.12755450439015845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631388129678829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10077748310576043,0.0,0.0,0.09135700473121444
divorce,mana1garza,2018/02/25,"Mother harasses family but we don’t want that bitch to take half of our dads assets I am 17 years old, my mother is extremely abusive to my two sisters and my father. My father wants to avoid divorce because of assets and pride I guess, but my sisters and I encourage it. We to are worried about the money that she will get if the divorce happens. If anyone knows how assets are affected after divorce please give some insight ****also she doesn’t contribute to household expenses at all so if that is something that can be taken up at court that would be great",4.064166666666665,6.069639305555563,5.041851851851857,80.28833333333334,72.6111111111111,7.392592592592592,28.66666666666667,8.167268648758528,2.215844444444445,447,18,77,7,9,146,73,108,0.158,0.664,0.177,0.1432,0,1,1,0,3,0,9.0,3,0,0,1,4,6,2,1,2,0,12,0,0,2,1,21,21,11,0,6,5,7,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,13,3,12,16,2,6,0,0,0,0,17,3,1,5,3,60,19,0,0.0,0.2938371093071037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19832393276113452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17340598686702707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511772955531424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337904687949933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12956873347646186,0.23790230552554603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.273418700509684,0.2731977865173371,0.0,0.21930383643631227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13629323004625424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2602322117990889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27222736146742843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1909209974341384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646365272710988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2422580370620539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29255132371232795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25185403474312457,0.0,0.17617068311943468,0.0,0.0,0.15970259858894534
divorce,brneyedgirl72,2018/02/25,"Feeling Sad So I finally let myself like a guy and even though he's flirted with me, or so I thought and we've had a few good conversations I don't think he's going to ask me out. So here I am having a pity party.  I am 45 years old, divorced, with children. I don't want to do this ""does he like me or not, will he call me, what should I wear if he asks me out?"" stuff.  I did this 20 years ago and I thought I found my happily ever after.  Yet, here I am sitting at home wondering why a guy doesn't like me. Part of me thinks it would just be easier to stay single forever- but I miss having someone to share life with too.  ",-0.4986618004866194,1.3889761167883243,1.9252846715328469,97.52671046228713,87.1021897810219,5.1131873479318735,18.62238442822385,6.42735559955562,-0.22746871046228725,476,13,118,5,15,162,86,137,0.062,0.8009999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.8195,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,0,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,4,0,16,2,1,0,1,25,28,11,0,4,6,0,1,3,0,3,1,0,1,3,5,8,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,3,0,0,5,1,21,6,12,18,3,14,0,3,0,0,14,3,0,4,11,80,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15044314597103298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.317323420757648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329918653479678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485197654005456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11209593066237727,0.15351799358053755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581359572453255,0.0,0.0,0.18591577024711545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860850221296076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09645361138961242,0.14234987254779174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3360913851008001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17023915785257648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1735462840089768,0.11987555105313692,0.24874424613970345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17808857268482112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18378607504377112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14379996138519874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808948573928307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19428441216034992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2174945397519479,0.16674527682940013,0.2694713654245421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10010299516112008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531424471414734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18404994841406627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1205614988580744,0.0,0.0,0.2185833002005156
divorce,TiredHandshake,2018/02/25,"Divorce and joint finances My wife and I are trying to handle as much of our separation on our own as we can.  Up until now we've always had joint accounts.  I noticed that she's opened up a new account and has transferred some money into it.  I'm assuming she's having her paychecks rerouted into this new account from now on.  Do I have a right to know how much money she's moved in there?  Do I have a right to view a bank statement? 

Also, we need to calculate her child support payments to me.  Can I request to see a recent paystub of hers?  She said she recently got a raise but I want to verify the amount.

What are my recourses(if any) if she refuses to give me any documentation?",2.6480434782608704,4.506678804347828,4.3718115942028986,84.20163043478264,76.17391304347827,6.918840579710146,26.71739130434783,7.793537801064563,1.6314956521739132,537,21,106,8,12,181,88,138,0.0,0.965,0.035,0.504,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,4,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,7,0,11,0,0,1,0,18,20,10,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,1,3,0,7,1,0,0,0,0,3,3,23,1,21,17,5,18,0,0,2,0,20,10,0,3,7,80,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16200981434744807,0.16856971961394573,0.0,0.0,0.27553402296704044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19434118623214766,0.0,0.0,0.16202839433674987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133724805267098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21531933374145765,0.29785146539681073,0.1502166797443049,0.0,0.3913221431392173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23064815650778156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40006307097130056,0.0,0.0,0.3460186538769099,0.1927078941378651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614366698499501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22989483615986045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754417785637774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11949184594584301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Blakney,2018/02/25,"Parents Hey reddit. I recently turned 17 and after 20+ years, my parents are getting divorced. I have a simple question that I'd rather ask you guys instead of google. My mother was caught doing some shady things we discovered have been going on for a while. She will be moving out soon, but I have a worry. My brother, dad & I agree she needs to go, not us. However I am curious as to if she is entitled to the house, meaning we will have to sell it. If it makes any difference, this is in Canada and if it comes down to it my brother & I will make it clear in court we want to stay in our home.

My apologies if this isn't the right sub. Thank you guys.",1.7775304136253034,3.4531872335766463,3.3325729927007286,91.50401763990268,78.12408759124088,6.318491484184915,23.095498783454985,7.1686216300943375,0.7227717761557182,509,16,112,6,12,168,92,137,0.028,0.85,0.122,0.9022,3,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,5,2,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,16,0,0,2,1,22,29,9,0,7,7,6,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,2,9,7,0,0,2,0,1,5,2,0,0,0,3,0,21,1,16,22,1,18,0,0,0,0,23,7,0,6,5,80,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3658807809156999,0.0,0.11481844649309834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15784461087903426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1454425551412062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764041023092006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821305056122118,0.0,0.19191376068391286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3343605320676781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693624351045748,0.0,0.0,0.19482116283967807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22540688190683505,0.0,0.0,0.18391859055114634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179452476568242,0.0,0.12519430899940467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3749584354330362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891418405266392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1667112460869401,0.0,0.0,0.14419026684240854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17996325835020532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15544715981736987,0.0,0.0,0.11217121681197474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1836517663973157,0.0,0.0,0.2030963079994123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958746997814863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1714673911270332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872880382553342
divorce,la_gran_puta,2018/02/25,"The Romeo and Juliet effect kept me (26f) in a bad marriage with my STBXH (32m) I’ve been lurking in this sub. My STBX moved out of our apartment a week ago and I am starting on the paperwork for our divorce next week.


When we first met each other I was 18 years old. I came here from England when I was a kid. He was a 23-year-old recently arrived undocumented immigrant from Guatemala. When my parents found out that we were together they thought I was just having fun first and they didn’t have a problem with it but they said to make sure to use condoms so that we didn’t have a baby. 


Time went on and we moved in together and then my family members realize that our relationship was serious. There were early warning signs that we were not compatible, like that he would give me the silent treatment, and would get very jealous if I so much as had a conversation with another man. However at the same time I was getting this red flags, my parents were lecturing me that I should find somebody from my own race and socioeconomic background, so I dug in my heels. My family stopped talking to me for long periods of time and I turned to him for comfort. I was going to community college and then university, while working part time. When I graduated I got a job and works full-time for two years before starting in law school.


We got married after three years together and nobody in my family went to my wedding. Soon after we had our daughter. I filed for my citizenship and then I petitioned for him and he got his green card. well the petition was pending I found out that he had been having sex with sex workers regularly.


Again my family told me to leave him but a lot of their arguments were couched in racism. My family of origin has been toxic and abusive in the past as well so I thought I was better off with him and he said that he wouldn’t do it again. Plus I was applying to law schools and I had a baby and I didn’t think I was capable of reaching my dream of being an attorney without his support. He told me that if I left him he would not help with our daughter at all.


Anyway it’s been over two years since that time and I caught him sending messages to a 19-year-old girl in Guatemala recently. We went over to Guatemala to see his family over Christmas and we came back and was depressed and crying and said he wanted to live there. I asked him for about two weeks over and over again if he still loved me and he couldn’t answer the question. I had also wanted to have another child but he said that he wouldn’t want to get me pregnant and just abandon me and go back to Guatemala. I told him that we already have a daughter and he couldn’t do that anyway.


Well something inside me broke and I decided to leave him. Of course after that he had his moments where he came back and broke down and told me that he did really love me and he didn’t understand why he did the things he did and he did really want another baby, which killed me. He asked why I couldn’t accept him the way he is. Unlike all of the other times I had told him I was leaving him I held strong and I hugged him but I didn’t give him any false hope and I told him it was over.


He moved out and he already seems to be doing better. I am so much better. I don’t feel that awkward tension in our tiny apartment anymore because it’s just me and my daughter and I can be myself. Don’t judge me but I’ve also gotten laid twice since our separating only three weeks ago. I am not rushing into anything serious and definitely won’t be introducing anybody to my daughter for at least a year.


And my STBX is stepping up and picking our daughter up from school and helping some financially. I thought for the longest time that he wouldn’t help but it turns out he was just making threats to make me stay. That worked for a long time but it got to the point where I needed out of the relationship regardless.


So what I’ve learned from all this is that I’m going to teach my daughter to respect herself and foster healthy self-esteem so that she ends up with somebody who respects her and treats her well. If she ends up in relationship that I don’t approve of I will tell her once then keep my mouth shut and let her figure it out for herself, trusting that I have given her the tools she needs to make those decisions.


TD;LR I was in a seven-year relationship and almost 5 year marriage with a person who was not right for me, largely due to the fact that at the beginning of the relationship, my family made me choose between them and him. 



",3.7355361361169632,5.15292266629956,4.565081402030263,85.7715804762817,72.33700440528634,7.642622741492691,27.696865223775767,8.18289091462,1.7181625614505514,3583,132,734,54,69,1156,346,908,0.087,0.8170000000000001,0.096,0.885,4,0,1,0,1,0,61.0,18,0,5,12,37,35,3,2,34,0,80,8,2,9,5,161,149,78,1,23,20,9,1,1,0,9,0,4,1,5,42,77,0,5,20,1,0,16,20,13,4,8,74,8,137,22,107,58,12,124,0,4,3,6,131,46,0,10,61,522,179,13,0.0,0.05650320558464611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454615204555889,0.0,0.0477532550142893,0.0,0.1052511355280911,0.07627312950078091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032429890590710456,0.15001699910842894,0.0,0.0,0.04729428750619101,0.0,0.0,0.03924366327623973,0.0,0.08916482703757951,0.0,0.0,0.11000879396682266,0.039817997983054465,0.02907053445534118,0.0,0.04057949527676933,0.0,0.0,0.1265301023809459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16362919876281373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052383699573455005,0.0,0.0,0.04107413052035786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447590870795528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3146960459569992,0.0,0.02411279445425651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04358652623122556,0.08112781580579033,0.0,0.10457620035013264,0.0,0.0,0.07474599245370828,0.09149452164070987,0.08130760934226522,0.0,0.1525637536692256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09589401156591427,0.0,0.0,0.047365550714862426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047323587650153126,0.04238782835282254,0.05276038208823188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15148605913049198,0.051813815064646086,0.04876483544683997,0.0,0.023298246345095017,0.0,0.042109916947285504,0.08440583959956144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04054315145949471,0.08608166609566098,0.045124116510282496,0.12733007181160996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520563383085818,0.07011323197830131,0.07072100115331792,0.0,0.0,0.05071737849896029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15012352453750075,0.05078681401163912,0.0,0.036269337371322805,0.0,0.0,0.10590511723992237,0.0516421181710033,0.04552417499553283,0.0,0.04163985543107481,0.0,0.0,0.045081151436265114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04563155995596057,0.0,0.0,0.05342215803950296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110109030701302,0.0,0.09417349974623547,0.2559986046575768,0.0,0.040725812974884056,0.1814511574450389,0.0,0.0,0.14479026001691633,0.03800164846566905,0.04341392012576032,0.04974962146357699,0.0,0.0,0.07889702314934045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03671302237448882,0.0,0.0,0.06750848821613208,0.05082971383867076,0.03808418610992654,0.03986981390299207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05411647029104212,0.04494595121678485,0.0,0.0,0.03833029887122883,0.041681947715703487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0316821939309017,0.030556936157277007,0.0,0.11357829008787675,0.22246089922416945,0.0,0.0,0.27341106706784474,0.0,0.0,0.10374302863283666,0.13975452969431104,0.0496455255718186,0.0,0.04118764812372098,0.0,0.039348098185956984,0.11251191264954633,0.03785299945454328,0.15301170789566468,0.0,0.1715111527784118,0.13262345968244346,0.08606310734252373,0.0,0.0,0.045970118946400115,0.0,0.10415362968288704,0.0,0.0,0.1016298623726385,0.0,0.0,0.2763891158464277
divorce,MyMotherIsBatshit,2018/02/25,"Can we mediate in TX without involving lawyers if financial agreements are straightfoward? Our goal is to make this divorce as affordable as possible, so instead of involving costly lawyers, we'd like to agree on things together first and then use a mediator to draft up the docs.  Is this possible in TX?    At a high level, we have agreed on our own numbers for child support, want retirement and investments kept to their respective owner, agree on child support schedule, and I think the only thing that will really need to be negotiated is the home's equity payout or sale.  I am not on the Mortgage loan, but the deed, so I believe that is straightforward.  

With all that said, do I still need to present all of our financials and documents (aside from mortgage-related stuff) if we have already decided where we want our money to go?  That's only useful if they need to assist on those decisions, correct?

Again, trying to make this as simple as possible, so any advice is much appreciated.  I have NOT yet had a consultation with a lawyer or mediator, though I have heard lawyers will want to control and ""fight"" for you, and I don't want to do that.   TIA.",9.474579439252334,8.039525056074769,9.18777570093458,67.30652336448598,60.12149532710282,13.232897196261685,41.02616822429906,12.161744961471696,5.033687476635514,918,42,162,25,10,298,126,214,0.005,0.8190000000000001,0.175,0.9839,3,0,0,0,2,0,29.0,9,1,2,3,9,6,1,0,9,0,20,0,0,5,3,40,38,21,0,10,9,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,1,2,12,12,0,2,3,0,5,1,4,1,0,1,4,2,19,5,32,30,4,20,0,0,0,0,22,12,0,5,8,120,31,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13671449357072207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15438971563237328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09514085641294502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576261173751628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1569164405357618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900394565138515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07951178624418145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781833748380227,0.14033709401389285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06835098946732357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867766412192044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284698490789657,0.3112155095291121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21280958746287815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4731688759346761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962734615637444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13308261454161546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11172908746495457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16015886214846128,0.0,0.3175272710300345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18589461812679905,0.08964609569764599,0.13745690407517466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498696919498444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416676741578853,0.0,0.0,0.33008066111708056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1348643614363067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Superpumpkin2,2018/02/25,"Should I buy groceries for my ex? I have to go out of town on business this week, so I asked my ex to watch the kids. He doesn’t have an apartment big enough to have the kids stay over so he’ll have to stay at my house. Do I buy groceries for him and the kids to eat or is it his responsibility to feed himself and them?

Edit: bad grammar 

I have decided to pick up milk, cereal, and stuff for lunches, and let him worry about dinners. 

Also - I was thinking he was doing me a favor, but I’ve thought more about it and I’m actually doing him a favor by letting him stay in my house. He’s supposed to have the kids once a week, every other weekend, and two full weeks a year, so these few days are just a tiny bit of the time he’s missed.",2.624349827387803,3.2025857848101253,4.276375143843499,89.98628883774457,74.0632911392405,6.7581127733026465,24.490218642117377,6.574015621080383,0.5772962025316453,566,16,133,4,11,191,95,158,0.049,0.914,0.036000000000000004,-0.2406,0,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,0,11,0,17,5,0,1,0,15,24,12,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,6,7,5,0,3,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,3,1,18,2,22,17,5,21,0,1,1,0,19,10,0,1,7,92,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.1549411264517637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12697200694363456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14843283751229333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13257017640358534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17334076372047227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1023964953625435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1624660752744756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16405662648707048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337744659736783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023527600127933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3664091899836791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32471561429234225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908978938027966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5076978606260478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817589543974661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10173636601336124,0.0,0.12604931367113045,0.09258275825921512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509973373229924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.382078271165997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124333459392345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10224565020791013
divorce,sexagon,2018/02/25,"Thoughts on Justice I've been divorced for two years. Below is a reply I made a couple months back that I think could be helpful as its own post.

At some point, I tried to zero in on what actions would help me feel like some sense of justice had taken place in my situation. From my perspective, my ex had inflicted unnecessary pain due to some of her actions during, and at the end of, our marriage. She talked about her affair partner in front of me, but I doubt it was primarily to hurt me - more likely she is selfish and does not think of how her actions affect others, even those important to her. She hid her dissatisfaction with our relationship, but not to intentionally blindside me down the road - she had poor conflict management skills and would just avoid dealing with things instead of confronting them. She likely did not intentionally cause crises for me to solve throughout our marriage - in a lot of ways, she never really grew up and learned to be responsible for herself.

When I thought about her actions more as symptoms of her underlying character flaws (selfishness, childishness, spinelessness), I could see that various aspects of her personality are what amplified the pain of the divorce process beyond what it needed to be. That doesn't mean her actions were fair to me, but this view helped me arrive at a different view of ""justice"" for my situation:

**I will feel that justice is served once my ex's character flaws that hurt me, in the long run, hurt her more.**

Thinking about it in this way helped me. I see this as a certainty. She didn't magically become a competent adult with healthy relationship skills after we split. Change like that is hard and takes way too long. Real personal work is not something that appeals to someone who cheats. She also will be unlikely to realize the extent to which she is causing and exacerbating her own problems with these behaviors. The pain also will not likely have anything to do with me or our relationship. None of these details really matter for my purposes, anyway. Given some time, I feel that most people with deep character flaws suffer greatly from them in one way or another.

I did what I had to do to learn what I could from the divorce, and this reflection made me happier with myself, and believe that I deserve someone better than she was ever capable of being. It sucks that it took a while for me to get here, but I can choose to leave the pain from her character flaws farther behind every day. She does not have that option, and that feels very much like justice to me.",8.443468085106382,8.183990878723407,8.01093617021277,71.11300000000003,61.48936170212766,11.09446808510638,36.88510638297872,10.53366545652748,3.8802110638297873,2043,85,354,42,25,648,230,470,0.14,0.7559999999999999,0.103,-0.9739,1,1,1,0,3,0,53.0,5,0,2,5,16,24,3,2,16,0,37,5,0,8,2,74,58,23,0,7,13,2,5,6,1,5,5,0,0,4,34,17,0,2,15,0,1,9,10,16,0,3,18,9,65,8,74,27,15,50,0,4,4,0,53,22,1,10,20,278,99,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13014616064963802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08532553379296487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696214169601503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06256996955628366,0.0,0.0,0.08986887227112905,0.0,0.09167826804574923,0.0,0.07196683436341379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16718271576657232,0.08608068238241795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19490652644951725,0.09003646142168417,0.0,0.05247814481395655,0.08389085753964225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501631806408833,0.0,0.0,0.142418198922441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07207135237329643,0.0,0.0,0.053745373581811334,0.07360554364249858,0.06855933665425414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16457631363995562,0.05813210277456196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04251346009386504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971280880156599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289324077912451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21816748163310384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613309109663525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616109463807838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2385252052613785,0.0,0.0,0.14402314461450846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917948086863253,0.0,0.15399212160188291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08863785585206069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495027553802575,0.0,0.05981771046001145,0.060336233989905425,0.06275902694618596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08665841953127673,0.055139706457521934,0.0,0.3463417618675069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05641303090379876,0.1421016116640364,0.08501631806408833,0.0,0.07692274875170486,0.0,0.07793178847860112,0.0,0.0,0.07786192033278548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09261903861735003,0.1042578476458494,0.0,0.0,0.26208890926003275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.129685740667384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18293085353465546,0.0,0.0,0.13789229635775696,0.06264406533673247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457656252545574,0.06118154315840708,0.0654036522074594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05405987571313569,0.15641948670973266,0.0,0.12920040110968709,0.04744861020878143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09040717675781873,0.05524617980651518,0.0,0.07948852408074761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714034078954183,0.0,0.25835691181551484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05923971351235886,0.0,0.0,0.11560852847060722,0.0,0.0,0.05240083675921007
divorce,ilostmyson,2018/02/25,"[california] [custody] bad custody evaluation... what to do now? x

This thread is closed.",2.8607142857142835,3.884974357142859,4.317857142857143,70.33964285714289,126.85714285714286,7.114285714285713,32.07142857142857,7.1686216300943375,3.8444857142857165,67,4,10,2,4,22,13,14,0.226,0.774,0.0,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FreudianBananaSplit,2018/02/25,"My parents are divorcing and my mother is trying to take my brothers away. My mom has been having an affair for many years, but my dad loves her and chose to stay anyway. She ended up getting pregnant and said she wanted my dad to raise the baby, so he agreed (she’s now 7 months old).

Recently my mom decided to quit her job and move in with this man she had the affair with. He lives several hours away from us, which is a big problem. My parents are going to file for divorce soon and my mom said she is moving out next week. 

The biggest problem I have is that she wants to take my brothers and sister (13, 10, and 7 months) away to live with this man. My brothers have said that they don’t want to move, but want to stay here with my dad and I. I don’t believe my mom is stable enough, as she has no job now and her mental health is awful. I believe it’s not in the best interest of my brothers to leave, but she said she can’t leave them. 

No one has any lawyers yet, so I’m trying to get advice on how can we start building something in case she tries to take my dad to court. 

Also would he have any rights at all to my sister? I know he isn’t the actual father genetically, but he has raised her and took care of her even when she was in the NICU for months.",4.740000000000002,4.096442925093637,5.450127340823972,87.69159550561798,69.187265917603,8.168689138576779,26.41423220973783,7.03164865440522,0.9823585018726586,979,23,224,7,15,319,137,267,0.084,0.838,0.078,-0.1863,4,0,1,0,1,0,27.0,2,0,2,2,12,6,0,0,8,1,25,2,0,1,1,32,45,20,0,7,5,18,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,2,6,16,0,0,2,0,0,5,7,2,0,1,8,4,41,4,36,36,3,37,0,0,0,1,54,14,0,0,16,149,47,3,0.0,0.0,0.08478596149318941,0.0,0.0,0.0849017495081015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06948086630044914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1181677955012074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24489029843067806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19577636260485906,0.09117908652697032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08858372621573445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07695317285343976,0.08977409119563673,0.0,0.05738586674344452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09078629817450656,0.0,0.04937801093600284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09235331395764064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556294656031159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243733870100142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0477490112396356,0.0,0.0,0.18399459398467688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15343980395126733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07841593457695073,0.0,0.0,0.08808643841468095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08755833786500994,0.0,0.0,0.4070285738472062,0.20804922964959327,0.2770308805028452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09240180434865873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116983141343804,0.0,0.058874646060974666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19294814149208606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16627194070218734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0924115134009901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857871754802794,0.0,0.0,0.07419820806634256,0.3305851927937851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09815385449445156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06688731970965316,0.0,0.0,0.06149673252678711,0.18521293537738548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19597719666990107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09653099145692774,0.17696499444562286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451039760482814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049850376188092,0.0,0.06969286620521588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06171969015269042,0.0,0.0,0.0559502564612683
divorce,An_Actual_Politician,2018/02/25,"Wife hiding money - help! Cliff notes background: married 7 years in Illinois to a SAHW, two young kids. Caught her cheating 3 months ago. Neither of us has filed yet. 

A mutual friend tipped me off last night that she has been taking cash out when doing transactions and stashing it somewhere in preparation of a divorce. 

I'm assuming this is pretty common among asshole cheating spouses so.....has anyone here gone through this?

Any tips for what I can do at this point, or what I should do in the future (outside of filing asap)?

I haven't let her know that I know, and don't plan on it.",3.556696428571428,5.7593612767857145,3.7387142857142885,88.20628571428574,74.625,5.908571428571428,25.485714285714288,6.742157984588678,1.0306757142857146,461,16,86,4,10,142,88,112,0.09,0.8290000000000001,0.081,-0.2387,0,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,1,0,0,1,3,3,2,0,4,0,12,0,0,0,0,8,18,4,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,9,3,0,0,3,0,2,3,3,2,0,1,3,0,9,1,14,13,1,22,0,0,0,0,11,9,0,2,10,56,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504314976891506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921191177606888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1975402649793144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21826951327837388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18936309029520265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3105244664807264,0.2302865086928883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28888957049012404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254998737545904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2651201266998866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670669214052849,0.0,0.0,0.2874181688871024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21241526912775868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2759749977450542,0.0,0.33982939767126696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192966813387512
divorce,Malewiththoughts1,2018/02/25,"True or false, marriage counseling is the last thing you do before divorce? I don't believe people ever change, people can suppress many things for a marriage, but I don't think they can do it for long.

So, is it true, marriage counseling is the last thing that happens before divorce?",5.3680188679245315,7.149706509433964,5.1624056603773605,81.65040094339625,68.81132075471697,6.809433962264151,32.117924528301884,7.1686216300943375,2.1732301886792458,227,10,38,2,4,70,33,53,0.0,0.879,0.121,0.7473,0,0,0,0,2,0,8.0,0,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,0,3,7,11,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,11,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,1,4,28,10,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40498304273381397,0.268106169364044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.251736452942984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21525385209175804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21043252960563444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3879480680612165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105924033332017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2412601527789927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3299512946794634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4742820682382146,0.15247899089421793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Franktomjoe,2018/02/26,Divorce Question What if we want to split things our way?  Do we legally have to split things or can we just separate and split assets the way we want to? ,2.120860215053764,4.286297000000005,2.523870967741935,95.37247311827957,79.0,5.423655913978496,23.23655913978495,6.42735559955562,0.4078946236559138,121,4,26,1,3,37,21,31,0.0,0.8170000000000001,0.183,0.4696,0,0,0,0,1,0,2.0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,11,5,3,0,3,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,3,0,19,8,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4254739884893395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.504657614389361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4480434147958658,0.6029508071276398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,furioso2000,2018/02/26,Why did I wait so long?!? Divorced over 2 years because ex is an alcoholic. I just  unfriended him on Facebook and it feels like a weight off my shoulders! I know why it took me so long — I felt I needed to keep an eye on things as we still own a house together. What a dumb reason!!! I feel free — I don’t even use Facebook all that much but it’s nice to know his depressing posts won’t show up on my feed!! ,-0.35137931034482506,1.6819679425287362,1.637482758620692,98.8182931034483,87.96551724137932,5.319080459770115,19.044827586206893,6.742157984588678,-0.04553241379310391,309,9,76,4,10,102,66,87,0.067,0.8220000000000001,0.11,0.5541,0,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,4,5,2,2,1,15,14,5,0,1,2,1,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,6,2,3,2,6,1,1,1,2,2,0,0,3,5,13,4,9,10,3,12,0,1,1,0,5,6,1,0,5,47,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2222299079004604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12676130941866012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17910267786758535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13734567610419865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21028642617218696,0.1485559114549165,0.19965975893153054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.239940549241484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848310230990602,0.0,0.0,0.2285622089262561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10159139724106923,0.0,0.0,0.36804946832534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286346225930506,0.15418854309962735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991537776234792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2138020383652031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660651030291344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13814938263713775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310344870442321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17959766842465555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532209243569387,0.0,0.0,0.375275941215886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339097279166572
divorce,Lovecomesandgoes5,2018/02/26,"It gets better? Only if you fall in love again. Still waiting for things to get better. Been living on my own for 1.5 years, going out with friends, take international trips solo or with my kid, have a decent job...yet my life is a hollow shell of what it was. I'm not a ""family man"" now,  I am a ""single dad"". My life is lonely. I push on each day because of my son but as the song says, ""life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone"". My experience has left my world black and white, not really believing in a sense of love like I once did. Everyone who talks about life getting better? They mean ""I met someone else"". For me, I am conflicted with trying to live on my own and the need for connection with another human. I can't see a day when I would enter a relationship again, nor how that's even possible from where I am. Three years after the affair, my life is in no way better than it was, even if my marriage was a lie. Now I am getting ready to write a monthly check to my ex for the experience. I feel like I lost a limb. I am thankful to be alive, but life isn't the same and certainly not better.",2.3993939393939416,3.6313246320346337,4.228852813852813,87.60137445887446,75.4069264069264,7.384415584415585,21.491341991341987,7.984000788550335,0.7930277056277055,854,20,190,13,18,290,136,231,0.031,0.762,0.207,0.9924,1,2,0,0,1,0,39.0,0,1,1,6,12,15,0,0,16,0,20,8,0,1,1,27,38,12,0,4,8,3,1,2,1,1,6,2,0,3,7,9,0,2,2,1,1,6,7,2,0,1,8,6,26,13,32,28,5,32,0,2,3,2,19,11,0,3,16,130,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260601313712225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06546292095368382,0.0,0.0,0.12098985845195423,0.0,0.4748811953188066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138513160167758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08970915860984717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185794039795355,0.0,0.0,0.10261413837449064,0.0,0.21009275934262867,0.10123614741521424,0.0,0.054298759445112296,0.0767182347151116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296794688592674,0.0,0.22442385218240515,0.0,0.06103125499214637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10656633376816063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11667772001565395,0.0,0.4551092624678628,0.10492901402906173,0.0,0.28447755255973906,0.0950352807277027,0.0,0.0,0.1172270330044224,0.0,0.19384429659655952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169773585564893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08571632963048235,0.0,0.0,0.07962707592075986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436505222292292,0.0,0.08167365374822552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106419138428776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879570534034317,0.0,0.0,0.115294862890787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539949947690302,0.0,0.0,0.08557458458286804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09098977202325917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08576044822049847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08074264931481784,0.08631466094966504,0.0,0.09886873369382196,0.0,0.0,0.07134402568772992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290961770204825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0852398470678038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628557887086977,0.0,0.0,0.13830910983390346
divorce,unicorntears2017,2018/02/26,"Not sure how to handle it. The love for him is still there, and always will be, but the reality is we're no longer any good for eachother.  

Anybody else have the dread of having to start the process? I sometimes wish he would file first.

(no longer on speaking terms)",2.6099999999999994,4.8736692307692335,2.5352307692307683,95.40976923076923,77.84615384615384,4.929230769230768,21.93846153846154,5.6839178017228535,-0.034389230769230394,208,6,44,1,5,62,44,52,0.133,0.706,0.161,0.4057,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,1,4,0,7,1,0,1,1,7,10,3,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,1,2,3,6,7,1,5,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,4,29,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2784999887385973,0.0,0.0,0.22760974648697466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2796016896979833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28469848729442443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28073327901126793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020828291480918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310301584322724,0.0,0.23690474449201826,0.0,0.2672945171182965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31545393387786363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848923192007246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2377636473511932,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SnowyHawaiian,2018/02/26,"friend and her husband got divorced at county courthouse without attorneys... was that unwise? my friend and her husband got divorced at the county courthouse without attorneys.... was that unwise?

I didn't actually go with them.  I think it's called the ______ County Domestic Court or something like that, where they handle divorces.   All they did was fill out a bunch of forms and listen to the clerks asking a bunch of questions and after 2 hours, they were out of there as two newly-single people.

They are much younger than me, so maybe it's my old geezer brain that can't comprehend getting a divorce with the help of attorneys?  

On top of that, I'm fairly certain that one of them got married in order to stay in the country after graduating from a graduate school.   Don't get me wrong, they married for love and were happy for 4 or 5 years... guess they just got tired of each other.",5.3197389558232935,6.819488102409643,5.301385542168674,81.69296184738957,68.57831325301207,7.461044176706826,29.49598393574297,7.793537801064563,1.9592586345381524,699,26,124,8,12,218,102,166,0.017,0.8270000000000001,0.155,0.9705,0,0,1,0,4,0,24.0,0,0,8,1,4,7,0,0,9,0,10,3,1,0,2,20,23,9,0,0,5,2,0,1,2,0,1,1,0,0,9,10,0,0,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,11,1,16,6,27,12,6,18,0,0,0,1,24,9,0,4,6,90,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.15710476157364814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15050558932349528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17972007839480786,0.16439061533136645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487637118340389,0.0,0.16822312889623453,0.0,0.09149534307875784,0.0,0.5150393584168318,0.0,0.1773506046650559,0.0,0.0,0.17137875177097422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790940181856858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854448168257584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07865245552250408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14530137405207372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617378896383002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183474880046785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16893379958978727,0.0,0.1090922019311573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11161143492207147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803476470666983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16293228422132372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393934361562366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1715958251836124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315703707546252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850363772573473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15726558368436214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3103806769179572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17601924707354752,0.0,0.10367343303688427
divorce,killermichi,2018/02/26,"Financially preparing to be on your own I have been married to my husband for over 13 years and we have 3 amazing kids together.  We agree that we love each other but it seems that there’s so much pain, resentment and distrust between us that we can’t move past.  Recently he said something that has really left me believing that he wants a divorce more than I thought and it’s made me question what I need to think about to prepare myself to be on my own.  We married young and have never been adults without each other and throughout most of our marriage I have been a housewife.  I do have a degree however my husband’s job has had us living overseas for over four years so I haven’t been using it.  I know I need to look up jobs in my field for my hometown, income, cost to rent.  I just want to know what else I should think about.   I know that when the day comes that he does say he wants the divorce, that I’ll struggle to keep it together for my kids and I want to know that when I tell them we will be ok, that I’m being honest.  I want to make sure they always have what they need.  ",3.5058482142857166,4.476501459821431,4.251249999999999,89.51875,72.34821428571428,7.207142857142857,26.5,7.413659706084162,1.1638357142857143,853,28,185,9,16,273,120,224,0.071,0.8340000000000001,0.095,0.1373,5,0,1,0,2,0,14.0,9,1,3,0,8,9,2,1,5,1,22,2,0,3,2,43,47,11,0,9,3,2,0,0,0,2,1,2,1,3,19,15,0,1,9,0,2,2,4,4,0,1,8,3,36,5,27,33,7,18,0,0,1,1,30,7,0,3,9,131,55,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11054390993707408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14967925621878742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11444065208482328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08567886207857994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11626010471801593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11098120378467367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636711833614629,0.1180853926855134,0.0,0.0,0.2920490049947957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14434461344693744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11731117804112393,0.0,0.11156262747144972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990455443151407,0.12570823334828266,0.08868006521468426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14120116644518246,0.09766186252446804,0.29552530231521434,0.10246402636699352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413644106146387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126822729305347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488251876857994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08510870363964051,0.0,0.13117580128828205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12637313594948282,0.1056496282143812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094391256367705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227633337754782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13888626247090208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12521189467128133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11611892741794913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17025301581216512,0.0,0.10547003315778508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3196103630179953,0.11474189151656501,0.0,0.0,0.3917991880956778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280650544868961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711052889316515
divorce,silentaugust,2018/02/26,"The quick fix for the worse days Just wanted to chime in and offer some encouragement.  When I was going through some of my bad days this sub was a major help.  

STBX wife and I are getting close to finalizing our divorce.  We have agreed on a co-parenting situation with our 15 month old daughter.  I'm finding that to be one of the hardest parts, is when I drop her off with her mother.  Though I believe it is critical for her to get equal time, it's still very different than getting to see her every day like I used to.  

What I find helps the most is simple.... being grateful.  When you find yourself in a mental rut, find a few things you are grateful for and ingrain those into your mindset.  Do not rob yourself of the opportunity to be happy.  By being grateful you realize that there are always people who have it worse than you.  ",4.847986614612385,5.757985098159509,5.536330172894592,81.7626436140547,69.1840490797546,7.890462911321808,28.92861126603458,8.00094639256281,1.8346245398773005,653,23,127,8,11,212,106,163,0.079,0.748,0.174,0.9435,2,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,3,5,0,1,8,5,0,0,9,0,15,0,0,1,0,20,23,7,0,1,2,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,8,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,19,4,24,17,7,20,0,0,1,0,21,6,0,3,13,96,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12573258112071195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12616748355287752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702451020171925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923532689251957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15787396566789624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12731360999435593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552961124644686,0.5524338349452464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.236840480467153,0.0,0.08587721620073874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16085551048625565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20256679123195906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07382292584892475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15227965178176686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12061164025806055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585606867280287,0.0,0.10239356775778576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16363344279008388,0.0,0.10475811123006436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1204121904826803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16984985911033199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12067371962532533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10038833904701214,0.0,0.14846121345200952,0.0,0.08811132297500396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050736301314775,0.0,0.12467855698888936,0.08912643532929261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079805430131521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Mawissacee,2018/02/26,"Respondent (husband) hasn't submitted a response to the court I'm finally at the stage where I won't break down in tears when talking/thinking/typing about my impending divorce. It's been nearly 7 months since we've been separated. I've signed and notarized my portion of the paperwork and sent (I have proof of receipt and his signature, AND he texted me to say he got the paperwork) his portion. 

In my state, he has 21 days to submit a response. I asked him about this weekend and he admitted that he did not yet submit it the court. It's been 10 days past 21 days. 

What does this mean? Can he still submit it? I know that if I had a choice, I'd rather not file a default judgment. For one thing, it's more steps (I apologize if I sound lazy), and he's also a service member, so that means it'll stretch things out even more (the judge will order a 90 day stay, if I'm understanding correctly). He's been doing some odd psychopath things and I just want this all to be over. I would much appreciate your advice. ",3.0325586786438734,4.806375738916259,4.064103158504782,87.1935236163431,74.86206896551724,7.5350912778904675,26.226890756302524,8.313332769828598,1.6510228339611706,797,29,165,14,17,258,125,203,0.023,0.935,0.041,0.3013,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,0,1,0,0,11,0,0,0,12,0,16,0,0,0,3,27,27,13,0,6,7,1,0,0,0,4,0,2,0,0,16,8,0,0,5,1,0,2,4,0,0,1,8,2,17,0,16,14,7,27,0,0,0,0,20,9,0,4,11,103,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182214364207309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14911838626247975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17432240169299532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810257162958537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16317939685439584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12316035044889526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042665713403644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491354878068067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247793213881448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4062366176750478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488369726342865,0.0,0.1370754297965988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12635553757236978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17800479816932346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482868319422936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542482503333327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19875006968813613,0.14891357971024508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716431458747964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19411975637754492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10998365321717693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13246151186992275,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,anew39,2018/02/26,"Thinking about your ex, what about them seemed meaningless at first but progressed horribly as time passed? Just curious.",8.109473684210528,12.031329684210524,4.883421052631579,76.97144736842105,67.94736842105263,10.115789473684213,35.8157894736842,10.125756701596842,4.772347368421052,100,5,14,3,2,27,18,19,0.257,0.627,0.116,-0.5574,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,1,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,2,10,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.560519434629942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5999014203023527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42224128454047904,0.0,0.0,0.3842506303845919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Lurkerrrrr57,2018/02/26,"Help I need to vent.  I'm a SAHP of  3 & 6 year old.    My spouse has slowly been more and more addicted to drugs over the past year or so.  He doesn't help around the house at all (he didn't much before but would when I truly needed help) & is kind of in a constant glazed over state.  He pays the bills but whatever $$ is left over he spends on drugs. On top of that I just found out my Mom has cancer...so I really can't deal with this bullshit from husband any longer. I still love him and am dying inside whenever he is around.  I want to divorce him but I'm scared I've been a SAHP for 6 1/2 years idk how I would support 2 kids.  We live across country from any family and I'm all by myself.   Any tips from anyone who has done it & been in a similar situation ?  
",0.4570733532934135,2.1728215149700603,2.400385479041919,96.44333270958086,82.35329341317366,5.851646706586827,17.02432634730539,6.9077264865688965,-0.3036823353293414,591,11,145,7,16,197,106,167,0.08199999999999999,0.805,0.113,0.6415,0,0,2,0,1,0,24.0,1,0,0,1,7,4,0,1,7,0,16,4,0,1,2,22,25,10,1,5,5,3,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,1,0,3,0,3,1,0,0,6,0,13,3,24,17,5,23,0,0,0,1,19,14,0,1,8,81,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14291863554261725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4261412338443853,0.0,0.267458019162465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166835067746476,0.0,0.0,0.23341405420006384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11155666606376877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167280784795142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13515861242910035,0.0,0.0,0.13606137278690966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13416108397316498,0.0,0.0,0.304069362208945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12358965838349288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14374466933495966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2636212242860985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512720992590693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13652074751034798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14244081709822526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576393227223405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1183231039882345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15354304112209738,0.0,0.0,0.09637377637533813,0.19441836463334636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756767041188686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515003336457334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08398618416791573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312542318196753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736218617464653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10469683773045037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487710224987372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0773263305891013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862597278335564,0.0,0.0,0.2532728092504667
divorce,Zitrone77,2018/02/26,"I feel good today My STBX decided to add another lawsuit into the mix. I’m not going to get into exactly what happened for legal reasons, but it was basically a defamation suit he filed against me. The court ruled in my favor and he has to pay all court and lawyer fees. He has bullied me around this whole time. I’m letting my lawyer do her job, and she’s doing it well. 

I’m just happy I don’t have to pay for some legal thing again. 

The divorce has finally been filed and I just want this over with (I’m in a place where you have to wait a year). ",4.2339901477832536,4.10837934482759,5.419408866995075,85.72362068965519,70.20689655172414,8.352709359605912,27.778325123152708,7.957251820313856,1.5053118226600986,428,13,95,5,7,143,76,116,0.085,0.769,0.146,0.7469,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,1,2,21,21,5,0,1,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,9,0,1,3,0,3,1,2,0,1,0,2,1,11,4,15,18,3,14,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,5,63,17,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2686143842943057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2280437463786115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12952618985393374,0.0,0.0,0.2806194187593503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338371575271136,0.0,0.14558612391738854,0.21486148507861028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22652843256169625,0.2726954985092468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2542071185557248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2619490389745451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26764093837566866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633832712509341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17018657351672986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937356557039427,0.0,0.24281722120353896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15109446756908146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2303257113042955,0.0,0.0,0.2860023178735574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16496373215472548
divorce,DCMikeO,2018/02/26,"Need advice to guide ex having her new bf stay for 2 weeks in her home with no true interaction with our kids (4 & 9 yo) beforehand. My ex and I have been divorced since June of 2016. She started dating her current bf in June of 2017 and have been in a serious relationship. It was in Aug 2017 she let our kids know about her bf and they briefly met him a few times. Briefly meaning when he came to pick her up for a date but nothing more than that. Since then she moved and is now planning on having her bf come visit and stay in her home for 2 weeks with our kids. I spoke to my oldest and asked him how he feels and he just states he has no choice and doesn't know how to feel. I can hear in his voice the pain at this thought and it is killing me inside.

I spoke and was very upset with my ex for not doing any research in how to introduce the kids to her new bf but she is the dismissive type and states they kids will be alright. I have no power to prevent him from being in the house so I am looking for advice, studies, guidelines so give her to minimize the pain and confusion for my kids. Something that will break down her dismissive barrier and actually understand how this will effect the kids.",2.7743548387096766,4.289329661290323,3.5677741935483884,91.56916129032257,74.96774193548387,6.895483870967742,24.093548387096767,7.554174236665415,0.882271935483872,948,29,210,12,20,301,132,248,0.122,0.856,0.021,-0.9802,2,0,1,0,1,0,17.0,3,0,2,3,10,8,1,2,9,1,23,2,0,6,1,41,41,23,1,1,4,3,2,0,5,3,2,4,2,7,6,19,0,2,8,0,0,4,5,6,0,0,9,7,34,2,35,26,2,36,0,0,1,0,52,12,0,1,15,138,40,2,0.0,0.0,0.13945389321260468,0.0,0.0,0.2792886770628216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15483665009009465,0.0,0.09717976210199604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359614419821222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1634443442871747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12309932192801833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451332311002044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13708673826403625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16106342882149155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28668914543216073,0.0,0.0,0.1648922698003249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1581023335679549,0.0,0.1570728313307972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461292351391517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000354370634372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1556645767452459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518845578751497,0.0,0.10596165979146248,0.0,0.2760355499187219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712044210180638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041203064539992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15342563940806211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364236758296325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11001464128960294,0.0,0.0,0.10114833422516016,0.3046337442759991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11344997890981738,0.08332859311971272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14876832072569132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11791093806442318,0.0,0.0,0.2292582722493089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwawayOK20180225,2018/02/26,"STBX making life difficult by taking away access to internet, Netflix, phone. Some advice please. We are separating but living together with our children while working out the details of parenting and finances. 
My (f32) STBX (m37) has cut off my phone service. I got a new phone. Then came netflix. I didn’t really miss it as life has been so busy. 
Internet is a real problem, as I need to connect for so many things. 
In theory, half of everything in this home is mine. How can he get away with this? 
Should I stop washing his dishes? That seems silly. Just pile them up somewhere? 
Stop making meals for him? I cook for everyone, it would be pretty weird to only cook for myself and the kids and not him. 
Really, what should I do? ",2.268586956521741,4.969912579710146,3.5070833333333367,85.280625,82.6231884057971,6.63840579710145,22.393115942028984,7.8658589789855275,1.4308681159420296,568,19,104,11,16,184,101,138,0.13,0.821,0.049,-0.8957,1,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,2,0,1,1,4,6,1,0,4,0,13,7,0,3,0,24,22,11,0,5,3,1,0,0,0,3,3,0,1,2,7,8,4,2,1,4,1,1,2,5,0,1,4,0,16,1,21,14,1,13,0,1,0,0,13,7,0,2,5,74,23,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17819687705123904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3426602840210313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20856750821380984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17424966145277793,0.1638904622284287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09527386012343568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14584732822957155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18291865942351934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576078896640712,0.0,0.0,0.16102432539897854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434490543181856,0.18488109287506052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521519784174602,0.0,0.1761212572881121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13869050347917372,0.0,0.0,0.20248555798870466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20017291874610652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855223434810947,0.0,0.17449075399530675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075618712406304,0.2336447697141105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16601070977952445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3049167679693541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13710955946987669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211497023674828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1327578646025884,0.0,0.0,0.12954098238847325,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,PNWsnowshredder,2018/02/26,"Divorce Loan? Has anyone here had to take out a personal loan to pay attorney fees/court costs?  It seems likely we're headed to court, and I'm already almost out of money.  My only other options to pay for it are to either liquidate my 401k (which she might be subject to part of), or try asking for a family loan.

Any experience with this would be awesome...I don't know how people come up with $20-40K...I wish we could just agree.",2.8393506493506493,4.296002545454545,4.599220779220778,84.47954545454547,74.68181818181819,7.301298701298702,22.798701298701296,7.957251820313856,1.1260337662337658,336,9,68,5,7,114,68,88,0.034,0.898,0.068,0.5803,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,2,0,9,1,1,1,0,19,16,3,0,3,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,15,10,2,4,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,5,1,42,9,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24528273751322416,0.0,0.2703091824942665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16657487199487392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17127522099987394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22899583346859045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100333391734308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19557319775955284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23960878159953897,0.2309177147455262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2513900808607073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1346184956973802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11967053640788188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598539776547579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18629604108802011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26525773190067903,0.0,0.1698179694155397,0.2138814982713264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2229939125917285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1841724377934508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16630544259724306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816812100194482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17400594541247308,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwmeout_thewindow,2018/02/26,"How should I prepare for Divorce? Throw away account. I am 39(F). I have been with my husband(49) for nearly 20 years. We have been married for 6yrs.

We have always had seriously rough patches, and in the past he has done enough to at least make me feel better for a couple of months before sliding back into his usual behavior.

He is not a bad person, just not a team player, and I am tired of the same cycle. I have decided that I will tell him how I feel after his family leaves town (they will be visiting soon). I want to avoid drama and ambushing.

I don’t think this will be contentious (but you never know).  

Our lease is up at the end of the year. We were thinking of purchasing a house, but I realized that I am (and have been) deeply unhappy, and it would be stupid to do that. I am packing. I have always done the packing, so as I pack I am making sure I pack stuff separately, so it is easier to part ways.

We do not have kids together. We do not have any shared assets. I pay for his health insurance. On paper, some years, I have made more money. He is self-employed and even though he out earns me, I am concerned that I may have to pay him palimony, if he decides to fight it. He does not have a retirement account. I do.

If I can walk away with my computers and my office furniture, I would be okay leaving him the rest. I do want at least partial custody of our dogs. They are elderly, and this should only last for about 5 years tops. I do travel for work, and it would be great if they could stay with him while I am out of town. I pay for all their vet and grooming bills. 

Also, because we were going to buy a house we have a sizable down payment. I do not want to be unfair, but I also don’t want to be broke. I live in a very expensive city and my job barely covers living expenses. His parents gave us 60% of that money. I do not want to take any of that, however, since I earn less and my check goes to half the rent, food and misc expenses. I am not sure how much of that 40% would be fair to walk away with, since I may have contributed less than 10%. 

Planning is my coping mechanism, and it is the only thing keeping me from bursting into tears every few minutes.

I want to be ready to start the process. How can I prepare for this? How did you guys bring the subject up? I have always had a hard time approaching him, and have no clue how to talk about it.

How did you prepared financially?

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thanks for reading this far.

TL;DR Have not told my STBX that I want a divorce. How can I prepare for this? How did you guys bring the subject up? How did you prepared financially?



",2.525849282296651,4.111034821428575,3.8532740943267285,88.97174982911827,75.78571428571428,6.941626794258375,23.933014354066987,7.686295010490155,1.0333105263157891,2023,63,434,28,44,664,245,532,0.075,0.8170000000000001,0.108,0.95,6,1,0,0,3,0,81.0,10,5,4,7,21,13,2,1,21,1,80,3,0,13,4,92,105,38,0,17,16,1,4,0,0,11,2,0,1,4,21,30,1,2,9,4,15,10,13,6,0,1,17,4,77,7,63,67,13,50,0,1,0,0,49,22,0,6,16,328,98,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14147000501398685,0.2207973557809978,0.0,0.0,0.18045110307518772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493105914731579,0.06801409939922863,0.07385369410143268,0.053919495398629065,0.0,0.07526610534855313,0.0,0.0,0.07822857291688558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062169470702878,0.09787041419575462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740490850851983,0.18103413514039868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07834218489981569,0.09139452203038193,0.0,0.05842168706433212,0.0,0.07452459336348408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08338463828388645,0.0,0.08944793991467144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10695646423470613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05026928870237663,0.0,0.0,0.09751860099156667,0.0,0.17516269867561726,0.0,0.0,0.07923558472285351,0.0,0.0,0.09402030000712057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20412337802604372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08777492448475534,0.07862016845059994,0.0,0.0,0.04861088540745855,0.0721001550172441,0.0,0.1873157138038624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620940692121615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369538565866808,0.11808474370672925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706015126390122,0.0,0.06502236989905834,0.0,0.06821960642120993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345434066586316,0.0,0.0,0.0982154368451952,0.09578485587784803,0.08443740681716366,0.0,0.07723284196114608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847589892297955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922746876122885,0.0,0.0,0.14633675494345036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06260675436377038,0.09427802318695533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10125633519111522,0.0,0.0,0.1667298558644263,0.0,0.06650486786685994,0.07109433700953413,0.07731091396050478,0.0814346832345605,0.0,0.0,0.05876355360786499,0.11335289215680587,0.08690360412567763,0.07022097809708758,0.051577050683912634,0.10166251915996152,0.0,0.08451964075712813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639682016366296,0.0,0.09741734036699676,0.07298213255562286,0.3651988146281294,0.07020905078470463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439408220563488,0.0,0.0,0.25133494558361275,0.0,0.0,0.22784065552326915
divorce,FartBreak,2018/02/27,"Should I just serve the papers? So my ex told me that she wanted an amicable divorce and wanted for us to agree on the terms for an uncontested divorce. 

We bought a house together. I also got into a car accident last year while we were still together, so there's liability in that.

So she moved out and we send emails back and forth. Some time later, she stops communicating with me.

She then suddenly tells me to talk to her attorney with any questions I have. She hasn't given me any contact information nor indication that she actually has an attorney working for her.

Should I just serve her the papers and get this over with? It looks like she's stalling at this point. ",4.626744186046512,6.382197449612407,5.631697674418608,77.66243023255815,70.62790697674419,9.191007751937986,27.62868217054264,9.642632912329526,2.5312598449612405,537,19,103,13,10,177,83,129,0.07,0.8909999999999999,0.039,-0.4476,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,4,0,0,1,9,1,0,0,8,0,6,0,0,0,0,22,14,11,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,12,0,1,2,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,5,1,23,1,15,7,2,21,0,0,1,0,25,7,0,2,12,75,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.2241933035067409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837231620904499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31246244042007754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17665603966190596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12002977699631072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374423226079656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26508935561161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18726893330738276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122394614643234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19292391396362266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24417748402174266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217178756051022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573616125351916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18347082763098785,0.19207310176359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18465647754553094,0.2008030688275206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1339633633576385,0.0,0.0,0.21952661494729156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27634918419497434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710134551986293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16725360830462874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794516223194226
divorce,newonereddit,2018/02/27,"[29F] My husband [32m] got vro and won't let me see my kids what do I do? My husband got the police to serve me with Violence restraining order on me.
This is after I have been going to the house we lived in together to see my kids and also to catch who he cheated on me with our entire marriage. I am so lost I need my kids. He kicked me out after i went to look after my dad who was sick. He decided to kick me out and not allow me access to my kids. I tried legal aid but he went to them already and I can't now because they are a corporation. It's a conflict of interest. What do I do. Someone help I'm so lost 😣😢

Tldr: husband got VRO refused me time with 4 children youngest 10 months old",-0.4911764705882362,1.4335533464052297,2.4964705882352973,93.19411764705885,87.43137254901958,5.168627450980392,20.764705882352946,6.522977012572876,0.2643098039215688,534,18,124,6,17,189,93,153,0.13,0.813,0.057,-0.8448,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,2,0,2,2,4,4,1,0,4,0,13,1,0,1,0,18,26,8,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,6,10,0,3,1,0,0,4,3,3,0,0,9,3,27,1,20,15,0,17,0,2,3,0,22,5,0,0,7,80,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21170448666187355,0.15341747759811825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694624562433795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902929525743238,0.0,0.4603052165427461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12858890557743732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213620744020376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1961733600996376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16940165644711486,0.0,0.1611005379609341,0.0,0.4188405037791424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15312795079943664,0.0,0.0,0.14224980253425376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013078752935027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057494606728393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1625486928067755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118657063325028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024939822335405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3556823884197714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,foodcomaqueen,2018/02/27,"Kill them with kindness How do you all kill your exes with kindness?

I have some deep rage/hurt/frustration and i want to do things differently.

Throwaway since ex reads reddit and knows my usual account.",3.2740540540540515,6.421872081081084,2.923027027027029,87.28616216216219,84.94594594594594,5.122162162162162,23.616216216216216,6.742157984588678,1.036874594594595,165,6,28,2,5,49,31,37,0.21,0.626,0.163,-0.6249,1,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,9,5,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,3,5,2,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,1,18,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.265716171255662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2722608658116169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5627472951128024,0.5296820505177171,0.13977072471407126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.254394471701936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21038080379845575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168962659406431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801037699412758,0.0,0.1500078562869775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mthomas198512,2018/02/28,Fiancee needs advice I recently got engaged and my fiancee still needs a divorce. The problem exists that they have 2 children together. Her husband lives 8 hours away and refuses to pay child support or agree to any sort of support in writing. We do not need nor want any money from him all we want is a divorce. Are we going to run into any major problems with this? My fiancee believes the courts are going to make her fight for support and its going to be drawn out and cost lots of money in legal fees. We live in Canada as well. Any information would be much appreciated. Thank you,4.312999016715832,6.142602168141598,5.179233038348084,80.29288102261556,71.56637168141594,6.792133726647003,30.254670599803337,7.3871296695380915,2.003138446411012,467,20,82,5,9,152,81,113,0.07400000000000001,0.73,0.196,0.9123,0,0,0,0,3,0,8.0,4,1,1,0,2,9,1,0,4,0,8,0,0,1,1,28,22,7,0,8,2,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,2,3,11,0,1,1,0,5,4,2,3,1,0,1,0,12,6,17,18,4,13,0,0,0,0,21,6,0,3,3,56,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453232855522282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40452717142326095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972331930339432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675516960017865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2535557214602177,0.0,0.11894155092988035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464550328787712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626374200046393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264327914907633,0.0,0.0,0.09926890140709003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10932316951621808,0.3308124777288927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28460172915142845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683883749474605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11876457029598105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5062825279894032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13691745923090862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754327756989855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337132970486876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056433843615744,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Unlimited999,2018/02/28,"Divorce advise for a spouse who is suicidal My wife and I got married to get her green card or else she would be deported because her visa type wasn't renewable. I was crazy for her when we first met and didn't want to see her go.

She's just a conditional green card holder so if we divorce it's possible she can be deported I think but I don't want that because she's suicidal(2 attempts before we met one was near death experience) and if I'm the reason she kills her self I don't know what I would do.

I just can't stand another day living a lie because I'm not in love with her. Every time I kiss her and reply back I love you I feel horrible. I'm just so terrified she will kill herself.",1.3272683397683378,3.2114681554054063,3.442316602316602,89.21175675675678,80.28378378378378,7.201544401544403,23.40926640926641,8.192908349453996,1.3002455598455596,549,19,122,11,14,187,89,148,0.268,0.7,0.033,-0.9916,0,0,0,0,2,0,8.0,3,1,0,2,7,5,2,0,4,0,15,3,0,1,0,24,31,11,4,6,8,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,8,0,0,4,0,1,1,6,2,0,2,7,4,29,3,7,19,0,9,0,0,3,3,29,2,0,3,5,77,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19189840123482893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407207970394525,0.0,0.3346774169833187,0.0,0.1557251574049942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11802413230725554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287855092061833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15419097319208952,0.0,0.0,0.17901559386429064,0.0,0.0,0.09253364750480238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15566534034138782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09561340738598527,0.0,0.10400688144501133,0.0,0.1463671146745247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40493942812251066,0.0,0.10057565416221097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16159820126400892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303412452767742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12401002423765276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063124705884236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.188161288524581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14583258487084633,0.0,0.1909158204264189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001795427793788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1172632547657739,0.0,0.0,0.10671263378173527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21588409599216754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2600053090373975,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Jkk2018,2018/02/28,"Help! Military family needs advice! Greetings,

My name is Jen and I'm hoping to find some help / answers on Reddit. Maybe someone with military background can advise me on what I should do for my family's situation.

I currently live in the Los Angeles, CA area, while my family lives down in San Diego. I'm financially independent living with my fiance. My mother are father are still legally married. I have a younger brother and sister attending college in San Diego. My mother is the nicest woman ever and does not have the strength to step up and do something as she is scared, so here I am trying to fix the mess and help my family.

Recently, my family found out that my father retired from the military (navy). His rank was LCDR (04?). Duty station in Sasebo, Japan. We were under the impression he was still active duty until one of my mother's friend told her he is currently in the PH. He has ceased contact and is no longer providing adequate spousal support. My family is undergoing financial distress due to the sudden stop of support and they may be looking at an eviction soon. Additionally, my siblings are facing the reality of possibly stopping college because of the lack of funds.

I want to disclose that my father was once stationed in the PH before. During that time, he had impregnated a woman (admitted to my mother) and we are now assuming he has been secretly pursuing a family with her. We believe he has since gone back and forth to the PH and occasionally flown her out to Japan (the woman posted photos on social media). My father has never once invited my family, not even my mother, to visit him since he was stationed in Japan (2009~). Several times my mother tried to attempt to start the divorce process, but my father stopped her on multiple occasions, in the fear of the repercussions on his career. So unfortunately, we are now in this situation and I must do what I can to help them.

Some more info:

My father has a joint credit card with me and I can see the flight charges to the PH. He never visited us back here in San Diego(even on the holidays and my graduation!). The only communication we had to him was through my little brother (21 y/o) who occasionally texts with him. I also found out recently that he has other mistresses (Japanese) in Japan through a friend of his. My other family members (uncles / aunties) won't help us or my mother so we are on our own.

Sorry for the long post but my family is in a dire desperate situation and I want to start the process on rectifying it. I wanted to pursue a route through the military first before attempting the civilian route. So far, I have only contacted the Sasebo Ombusman, Navy Family Ombudsman Program, (I sent out a mass email) and gotten a few responses but they are waiting on the CMC I believe.

If anyone can help us out here, I would really appreciate it. 

-J",5.238954033771108,6.954339459662293,6.67579315196998,70.93376477485928,69.0375234521576,9.982908067542214,31.14863977485929,10.241411754978122,3.596448442776735,2264,95,378,62,40,771,258,533,0.067,0.8390000000000001,0.094,0.9233,4,0,1,0,1,0,76.0,10,0,3,5,17,12,0,3,36,0,46,1,1,1,4,70,67,28,0,10,7,16,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,3,12,32,0,6,8,1,2,6,6,4,0,2,15,2,66,8,66,46,6,69,1,0,2,0,74,34,0,7,27,277,78,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330948169731365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181044747425422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04530084518400575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09963499821984298,0.0,0.039493787872740466,0.0,0.1102585837151092,0.14598639152796555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056695876219607415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558291204427786,0.05860389785865275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6718335754202939,0.07290381881926594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059214495135275526,0.0551081156236527,0.0,0.1420720447885165,0.1001091441326892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2605537064939999,0.0,0.0,0.06434849057495087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06493397889474782,0.17162534075281696,0.057334795985375574,0.05440508533169528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06508763511423883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048039024222064165,0.09993604891301006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799289878136214,0.043901608021368575,0.0985474497297865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07303804083075909,0.12409680972195422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041504457083260886,0.0,0.12793945112791186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486347350493378,0.0,0.05162715689397435,0.0,0.0,0.07319130277809302,0.0,0.10718558686416743,0.21847120186647132,0.0,0.06604257898840472,0.054894140110523,0.04987649332875736,0.0,0.07252417202185665,0.09171368752484216,0.0,0.1034785768966183,0.1624954617084208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703991090216748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07555608908253322,0.0,0.0,0.061907121690666235,0.0,0.08797276178508982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23379373720834146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11463983277028475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046023098660796936,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,turtle_flu,2018/02/28,"Was served papers for Divorce for resolution through mediation. Questions on how to file response and legally bind requests of resolution. Hello, looking for some advice & insight since at this time I can't afford seeing a lawyer. 

* No kids, no owned property. ( So I assume I don't actually need to go through parent education classes?)

* State = Oregon, USA

STBX informed me in mid-November that she wanted a divorce. Previously I picked up papers since STBX felt that all assets and property was fairly divided which I told her I did not feel the same. Monday evening I came home to find that when I was at the gym that the Sheriff had served papers to me parents since I wasn't home.

Is there a resource to identify how best to follow a response to prevent a default judgement? I'm a graduate student on a mental health leave of absence so I'm currently not making income but am lining up a potential job opportunity. I expect her to push back on any payments I request due to previous alcohol use to deal with stress and anxiety, but I've completed an intensive outpatient psychiatric program and am in a self-admitted diversions program for alcohol and drug use (31 days sober now).

The matters that I hope to resolve, are:

* Furniture/cookware: I moved most of my stuff out but left 2 bookcases, a family heirloom desk, and a dresser. I also left my cookware. I would like this back and don't expect her to be willing. She also donated most of my kitchen supplies I brought into the marriage to replace it with wedding gifts. I figure that trying to get some amount of money is likely going to be arduous and unproductive?

* Money: I payed first/last month rent when we moved in and damage deposit. I would like her to repay me for last months rent, 1/2 of the unreturned damage deposit, and December rent that my autopay sent before I cancelled it and there was a verbal agreement (fuck me) that she would repay me but now claims is money owed to her.

* Car damage: STBX caused cosmetic front end damage to my owned vehicle due to STBX negligence in driving and scrapping a brick wall. It was agreed at the time that we couldn't afford to fix it, but I would like for STBX to pay for damage assessment and repair.

* Dogs: It's a fight she'd never let me win if I tried to claim them, so instead I would like to be provided regular opportunities to have them/watch them when she is gone. I also want to be provided with medical information regarding their care which she has not been doing.

I don't expect her to be willing to do any sort of retirement account sharing although I had expected continued financial support. Almost 70% of my income went to paying rent while STBX payed other utilities and groceries/pet supplies/etc, and whatever was left went to paying some of taxes. ",5.503785230831396,7.106743852207298,6.403938276593598,73.56948757450249,68.25143953934742,9.399757551267806,33.48020002020406,9.747274676799606,3.553407677543186,2221,103,370,51,38,735,271,521,0.08199999999999999,0.813,0.105,0.8759,13,0,3,0,3,0,65.0,2,0,3,5,20,23,2,1,22,0,41,7,0,7,2,75,69,34,0,15,9,2,2,5,0,7,5,0,8,1,20,23,3,1,10,1,18,15,12,8,0,0,19,4,55,15,64,35,11,55,0,5,2,1,35,18,1,11,26,259,75,18,0.0,0.0,0.08933371536222715,0.0,0.0,0.08945571402078273,0.0,0.1956653404444467,0.0916680686318595,0.0,0.0,0.21962305400183044,0.0,0.09918785993089108,0.0,0.12450608594129925,0.0,0.07003089120130837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14078333400087942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07789718118616235,0.0,0.09606975517335542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047019211421814,0.0933351847890237,0.09404088047289036,0.0,0.0,0.09598211731466363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059038291383888074,0.09437781974625854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10616194906547036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0810807911927927,0.0,0.10209573198408532,0.06046393288687733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629951352554441,0.0,0.04628738493904326,0.0,0.08789657313337966,0.0,0.08366953575819595,0.07786725936287177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08463093084693739,0.0478279492092752,0.0,0.10405310257557553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09730696587680954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18365214427130755,0.09092382398679616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084327087906298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14924111757661498,0.0,0.09693185285476773,0.2983883938803669,0.0936099179254826,0.0,0.22361881345314247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07687388404121029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06110631494247666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09222092507407463,0.09225479660392626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14613905679295214,0.1945935183100352,0.0,0.06787869837874179,0.07060435792754657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20329750406981373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1025502041308353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294869676700287,0.0,0.09550033214212462,0.0,0.0,0.2271783692254801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10486331540513977,0.0,0.1047959510074572,0.0,0.10388301930975843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1067600573609288,0.0,0.0,0.08747419225902492,0.0,0.12430470142672745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15812920622312998,0.0,0.0,0.10799001793253872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16972436609437433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.325151070722256,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,startswithtoday,2018/02/28,Anyone regret getting divorced? (If you were the initiator) I guess I’m at the beginning of thinking through whether a divorce is for me. I’m getting more and more distant from my spouse and find myself thinking why am I with you but after 20 years together I can’t fathom starting over after being with someone who has stood by me through all the ups and downs in my life . I really don’t know what to do ,5.451851851851847,5.819633938271608,6.0242962962962965,80.72533333333331,67.64197530864197,8.455308641975309,34.71851851851852,8.238735603445708,2.7284548148148136,323,15,61,4,5,105,60,81,0.026,0.974,0.0,-0.2263,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,0,8,1,0,0,1,15,19,6,0,2,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,11,0,16,16,3,10,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,2,5,50,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339714153040104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058331290958877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3496462895930189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3686174504367049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18389630315780506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363493057650717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21436369510879894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2835192059085553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368430565232957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42881707759808896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30193905885785943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2154818509711377
divorce,mad_sqeakers,2018/02/28,"Appropriate or vindictive? I am the bad guy in my divorce. 

Backstory for context:
My husband and I had an open relationship for a while. I had other lovers and his role was being aroused by hearing me retell the story/scene. Then I caught the feels. 

We have 2 adult children and 2 older teens. 
When I left- I was the one to leave- my husband told the kids and anyone and everyone who would listen that it was bc I had an affair. Which, once I caught feels IS true. I understand that. However, he told them I had MANY affairs but conveniently left out HIS role in the previous lovers. I do not consider any of the casual relationships to be affairs bc he knew and participated in his own way. 

He told my parents great details. I do hold my parents a bit responsible bc they should have stopped him from telling his tales. No parent wants to hear that about their child. 

Since then he’s told the kids about how I’m “taking money out of the household” by filing my own taxes. He’s told them a lot of things *I* don’t find appropriate. 

I did not ask for and do not receive alimony or child support. I pay my own rent, car insurance, all expenses. He reimburses me his portion and half of the kids portion of the health insurance that is deducted from my check, and even that is sporadic. 

Am I wrong in thinking his overshare is inappropriate? I truly don’t care what his friends think or even extended family. My issue is with the kids. 

Edit: spelling, twice",2.1526178825622786,4.788649505338078,3.582018460854094,85.02167537811391,82.41637010676156,6.928870106761565,25.15135676156584,8.07648339933343,1.7856805160142342,1145,46,222,24,32,375,156,281,0.049,0.8270000000000001,0.124,0.9763,5,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,1,0,4,0,6,10,0,0,17,0,26,4,1,1,2,37,48,18,0,3,7,5,2,0,3,2,1,3,1,9,11,14,0,2,7,1,7,4,6,2,0,3,16,5,41,8,24,28,8,20,0,0,0,3,56,9,0,4,6,151,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708847946776823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792637340750444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10597601183863524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09465060979402724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375942639132953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11557776347770275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974601807298354,0.0,0.0,0.10832004593090636,0.0,0.0,0.10686543113448864,0.0,0.11463613514193767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10360870700592653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08758141869961586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249794632809459,0.0,0.11224391985080813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12049605421861645,0.25552922866146593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11831806918991053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003154853153868,0.2463312793230245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09637435840561084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492893762327284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072437488552862,0.07681546270357889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3776175762779141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434117762281429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09377231064199412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09477378043714244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286392378423284,0.0,0.0,0.08523238240763087,0.0,0.09908136944436743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07531114388143427,0.14527262982705907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5416002296545319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180114397242516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668624848109137,0.08997964896251827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052747445972416,0.12394103033342894,0.0,0.0
divorce,myvery1sthrowavvay,2018/02/28,"The mentality of a cheater Throwaway in case any of this comes back to me IRL.

I (30M) just can't fathom it. How can they live with such cognitive dissonance? Man or woman, it's sick.

My wife (29) is mentally ill. Wanted a divorce after an emotional affair in December. Started up wildly inappropriate relationships with people online in the ensuing months, even after ending the emotional affair. Went and lived with a guy for a week that she met during this time. Almost certainly had sex with him. Continues a wildly inappropriate relationship with him, way too emotionally intense and vulnerable with each other. Sent nude pictures of herself to multiple men. Now, she wants to work on the marriage, we're going to counseling. Let's make it work, right? But you still want to carry on your relationship with this guy. Even if you are no longer sending nude pictures of yourself, you still want to talk to all those same people. 

But I friend an ex-girlfriend on Facebook that I had unfriended years ago at your request, and holy hell, you lose your mind. So unbelievable of me. So unfaithful. So inappropriate. I don't even talk to her, just friended her in the midst of you insisting you want a divorce. We talk during counseling and you keep saying how much you love me and want this to work. And then you go home and trade pictures with some guy who makes you blush, tee-hee.

It's just sick.",4.115176962676962,6.61147471814672,4.929174710424714,78.94400659588159,74.01930501930502,8.177670527670527,27.007882882882882,8.959647251330699,2.4005249678249685,1108,42,198,25,24,358,154,259,0.092,0.8190000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.7691,0,0,0,0,2,0,40.0,1,13,1,4,17,6,1,0,13,0,8,7,2,4,2,42,25,17,0,7,7,1,0,0,2,0,3,1,1,6,13,18,0,1,0,0,1,6,3,2,0,0,5,1,30,4,35,19,5,32,1,1,0,4,49,10,1,4,15,134,43,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09294401141809913,0.0,0.1049930475110877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130221892834279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062388297328209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09031978070526507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3538295066227748,0.09286679090108783,0.0,0.0,0.2077591250600243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1620151164814681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119178384637598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114566768666367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10517401859107643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319631247771523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1072171663148069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851705610187756,0.0,0.0,0.1173013560950923,0.0,0.0,0.09463204608262693,0.0,0.13997760231534173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2113301259102851,0.0,0.10586953635109353,0.0,0.0836910014691597,0.0,0.07707748816338213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14538084752190053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377119359114976,0.0,0.0895421100681028,0.0,0.08338165746244604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421401858948805,0.0,0.1674681552268687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528255857719157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0611394127861373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3710627240020292,0.08322577736279549,0.08410508096272695,0.0,0.0,0.09719785034798112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.228998148638776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06752055275936017
divorce,Sim116s,2018/02/28,"Men & Women support groups - London, UK? Hi everyone,

First time poster, longtime lurker (unfortunately). For the past 6 months I have been having free counseling from the NHS in regards to my wife's affair which has been life saving for me. We are about to start the process of divorce and unfortunately due to the way the NHS is setup I have come to the end of my allowed counseling period. - (Don't get me wrong I love the NHS and was over the moon when I was offered mental help support without even asking them.)

My question is does anyone know of any divorce support groups in London, UK? - I have been searching for weeks since my counseling ended and can only seem to find ones which are setup for females only, ones which seem to be part of a ""take this leading course in how to win at divorce"" and similar ""group talks"" that seem more like ... dare I say it schemes! - I am a firm believer in doing my research before posting on Reddit and but I really feel like I am getting nowhere with my Google searches on Men divorce support groups / Support groups. 

Any help would be appreciated :)",5.650452961672473,6.845293268292687,5.834860627177701,79.31006097560977,67.53658536585365,8.003484320557492,31.22822299651568,8.192908349453996,2.3062125435540057,860,34,154,11,14,273,126,205,0.008,0.8029999999999999,0.189,0.9891,1,0,0,0,4,0,33.0,1,0,1,3,4,12,0,0,10,0,22,2,0,3,0,22,39,8,0,1,2,1,1,2,0,1,1,1,0,3,6,8,0,0,7,0,1,2,2,1,0,3,5,2,19,12,27,31,2,23,0,0,0,1,25,8,0,4,13,98,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303518890762648,0.0,0.1544405718059665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07939925977619187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10615721038393272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662567988954282,0.1279359289836194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978163007208031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0993714484997909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20114942429720084,0.0,0.0,0.07500102744446993,0.0,0.0,0.10850525232251056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057416070414092774,0.08112265568240801,0.0,0.0,0.10378585791643834,0.09658856408541536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11865405242390682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15222505852106358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06240604360723216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020620767703616,0.11095302580648997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10248648308446937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11443523769650055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09063733440680603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538936046655438,0.1727251341469262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296739388145922,0.1083996814241325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875288079601812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720592768655406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07274529109640421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09030231492214162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.310124573029623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09393264321143807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803737642337462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6442959306701476,0.0,0.0,0.08537811334651556,0.0912700161384739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06621396930200361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09013349681181468,0.0910857823984732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10946153882652973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08066516091324724,0.12415294559622715,0.0,0.0
divorce,cheetasdoe,2018/02/28,"Why Am I Still So Sad? Hi everyone, 

I've been lurking on this thread for a while, but today I decided to finally make an account and jump into the conversation.


Eight months ago, my partner of ten years (and husband of three) decided he'd rather be with another woman. I know eight months isn't that long, and that I'm allowed to be sad. I know I shouldn't try to rush the healing process. 


But the fact that I still get so sad frustrates and confuses me. As far as divorces go, I think my situation is pretty good: there are no children involved (and I don't even want or intend to have them, so I'm not mourning the loss of people-who-might-have-been); I'm 31, so I have plenty of time to hope for a long and happy second marriage; I've moved to a beautiful new city, so every day I get to walk down streets that aren't infected with memories of my ex; I already have a boyfriend, who would walk through fire to see me smile and who doesn't pressure me at all to hurry up and stop being sad. He understands that my grief is real, and that these things take time. I have every reason in the world to be grateful. And I *am* grateful.


But I still get so damn sad sometimes. My ex doesn't want to be friendly, so I haven't only lost my whole family (which was him), I've lost the friend with whom I shared a third of my life. The truth is, I miss him. I was mostly happy in my marriage, and I believed in us so deeply that -- to my detriment -- I let that relationship somewhat define me. I've lost much of the purpose and sense-of-meaning I once had. I do have good days, and even good weeks, but so far those sad feelings always come back. I'm sure therapy would help, but I can't afford it. 


I guess I'm posting this just because I'd love to hear words of reassurance. I know that it does get better, but ... please tell me again. I used to be such a happy person. I want to believe that she'll be back someday.


Thank you <3 ",3.5121971595655808,4.110178147869674,4.605413533834589,88.36487886382628,72.0325814536341,7.515121136173768,26.807852965747706,7.526774132740827,1.2275737677527152,1487,48,330,16,27,488,201,399,0.119,0.639,0.242,0.9963,2,0,0,0,1,0,66.0,1,1,1,5,21,33,2,2,15,0,36,4,0,5,4,59,69,32,2,8,10,3,2,0,3,4,3,1,0,4,21,18,0,1,9,0,1,7,10,17,0,6,7,4,48,16,39,49,5,42,0,13,1,1,33,12,1,6,22,212,69,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240367822062881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.102583979218108,0.0,0.07735039882300722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747695763842633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296143254549118,0.0,0.05666772310746392,0.0,0.0,0.2094688015042131,0.0,0.08221581222844374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08007704888822023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11990337877956556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08135016639326535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12279877478662955,0.0,0.15664608840258676,0.08882753008272842,0.0,0.0,0.08763467756427586,0.0,0.047003510086136215,0.0,0.0,0.10183344152171256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436417615478215,0.0,0.19427163543742365,0.0,0.05283146869115308,0.2339120140661177,0.0,0.0,0.1024062274913126,0.0,0.0,0.2968738359958956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047729903125274,0.0,0.06230931533587907,0.0,0.0,0.09233053203289868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326561425954435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505818328616404,0.06566059405195666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453384283074834,0.0,0.0,0.3044313765820582,0.0,0.08390028099469336,0.0,0.06205170792231592,0.0,0.0,0.10126099581183802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09861616537589801,0.0,0.0,0.14840001523075758,0.09880206467299643,0.06833650103714843,0.0,0.0,0.08978161650091586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899966298669337,0.0,0.07070048094942025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08116932977024903,0.0,0.10204247063335607,0.0,0.0,0.0890302504599361,0.0945740233248671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580914882667376,0.0,0.09557864908034154,0.0,0.0998045499776996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407730656579156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10449124821196842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194009268421524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22271459610408925,0.0777189555311309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761396259387942,0.0,0.06989456057991067,0.0,0.08125138102850722,0.08558533507710536,0.10630818033346494,0.0,0.06175867856407598,0.0595651930594237,0.0,0.0,0.1084117722262626,0.0,0.08811547470668911,0.0,0.0,0.06311392720673001,0.0,0.0,0.09677492861200024,0.1118197694539698,0.08028783381702996,0.0,0.0,0.16449114279555896,0.0,0.07456712834564494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388219253667728,0.10378683143530927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13207262974426692,0.0,0.0,0.059863371700544336
divorce,Catcherofsouls,2018/02/28,"Zero tolerance I'm getting tired of seeing so much sexist and bigoted language lately.  So... I'm going to be removing posts where I see it and actively banning people.  I've tried warning people in the past but once they start down this path it seems they inevitably stay on it. 

Examples:

AWALT

Divorce Rape (instant banning no warning)

All (gender) are (pejorative)

Leech

And the like.

Yes most of these examples come from the male side if anyone can give me actual examples from the female I'd be happy to add them.

We're not fighting the battle of the sexes here folks we're trying to help each other through a tough time.",4.307881355932203,6.456934533898307,5.212000000000003,78.71223728813561,72.3050847457627,7.770847457627119,27.90169491525424,8.548686976883017,2.334400677966102,497,19,84,9,10,162,89,118,0.109,0.7140000000000001,0.177,0.8534,0,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,0,3,0,4,6,3,0,7,1,4,3,0,0,1,14,14,7,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,6,0,2,1,0,0,3,2,4,0,1,0,2,5,2,12,12,4,14,0,0,2,2,8,5,0,3,5,50,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.21433500581339388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357599713704564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1891986897837418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11475179029828203,0.21069678419064491,0.12482533752798368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338087362164664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721872229989902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477612318858668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10730403294460857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614592026072498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339073028560342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20966932451228049,0.304538669779898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21035249140676301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3500461003381974,0.199950187083928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15546090757834272,0.234104885300006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1280726846650793,0.25244157209424256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2982395705238425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sluttylips,2018/02/28,"Changing surname Hey Reddit! I have a little question..
I am getting divorced soon. Not an unamicable divorce but its time. I just remembered I can change my name...in my prior divorce I went back to my maiden name. However, my father is a truly terrible person and I get sick to my stomach thinking about having his name again. My mother's maiden name is awesome, but I really don't want her name either. I don't really mind keeping this married name. It's ok, and I remember the hassle from changing names before. I really just want a name of my own: not my dad's, or my ex husbands. What have you guys done in this situation?",2.535,4.832036097560977,4.812378048780489,78.81661585365855,78.26829268292683,7.0268292682926825,26.51016260162601,8.07648339933343,2.0506699186991875,492,20,87,9,12,171,79,123,0.099,0.797,0.103,0.3593,1,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,0,1,0,0,6,2,0,0,5,1,10,2,1,0,0,25,17,5,0,2,8,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,1,4,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,22,1,6,15,2,8,0,0,0,0,22,2,0,2,5,62,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1350270087810793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942426875583958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5572905247529293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797016939957816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834894723496596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738734722734442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15608302204277205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17599921905082866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1773078433752092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15332879096820998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671429735552756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3374851884075777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3978454038291608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973838739392008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251859614266503,0.0,0.0,0.1023948701389087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2071490805801592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16278470483477142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,MyFallenAngels,2018/03/01,First time poster thinking of divorcing I've been married 2 years and feel like my partner is bringing me down and trying to blame me for all. Is divorce too heisty? is my happiness more important or theirs? ,3.6134615384615394,6.342426692307698,3.643269230769232,86.30798076923078,76.94871794871796,6.976923076923077,30.262820512820515,8.07648339933343,2.388789743589744,167,8,30,3,4,51,34,39,0.055,0.7509999999999999,0.195,0.7313,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,6,7,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,5,2,4,6,2,5,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,4,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2386837009987806,0.3372340801709471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4015272341662415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.502508186979745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23062078826981225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3024718942069719,0.0,0.0,0.2752573475829989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204923569040685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3039860445649141
divorce,Wsx456xsw,2018/03/01,"New living situation impact custody? I'm going to be moving out and obviously my income isn't what it was with ours combined. It's going to be more feasible for me to moving into a smaller one bedroom apartment instead of a more costly two bedroom. Would this have any impact on a custody agreement? We aren't married but have been together for 10 years and have one 8 year old child together. We aren't fighting the split and so far everything has been very peaceful, I'm just worried that if the worst case scenario happens and she starts to fight for custody instead of our agreed time frame that I'd hurt my chances of 50\50. ",4.959908925318762,6.499841803278687,5.462240437158472,80.04496357012752,69.49180327868852,7.38943533697632,33.22768670309654,7.793537801064563,2.5091118397085608,508,24,89,6,9,163,85,122,0.136,0.7559999999999999,0.108,-0.7005,1,0,0,0,3,0,8.0,4,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,5,0,13,0,0,0,1,14,19,7,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,1,6,9,0,0,0,0,1,4,3,4,0,3,3,0,8,1,14,13,3,15,0,1,0,0,8,5,0,1,6,62,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1498540928713883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980476539436507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2504742347176169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19486587822019516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23590267107001026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19458417188840493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4684210405385411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128275272474415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312334308302902,0.0,0.29864673843395056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476967428596591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15597374950202772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12849517700092292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21526219474827687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818221847951577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2237888696387266,0.0,0.15653923543052095,0.0,0.0,0.2838125190492945
divorce,coldturkeyagatha,2018/03/01,"My husband told me he wants a divorce. My husband no longer wants to be married to be and I have no idea why.  The last year has been bumpy, financially and with him transitioning into civilian life.  We've been married for ten years and although it hasn't always been easy, I loved him and didn't mind the crap life threw our way as long as we handled it together.  
9 months ago he left the army for a job he had wanted for years.  I was nervous about it, but I supported his decision.
Well, things started to fall apart from there.  We rented a home that the owner had no legal right to rent out.  Lived in that house for a few months, paycheck to paycheck, and without the money to move into a new home my husband sent me and our kids to live with my mom for a few months so we could get back on our feet.
Obviously, I was upset.  I didn't want to leave him.  But at no point did I blame him for our circumstances.  Shit happens.  I didn't resent him or try to make him feel guilty.  
Things were okay for a month, then he became harder to get a hold of.  He was calling less until it got to a point where he just cut off all communication. I voiced my concerns right away, that it wasn't healthy for our relationship. 
It's been almost a month and I've talked to him a hand full of times.  With him not speaking to me my mind began to come up with all sorts of awful scenarios.  He met someone else, he's depressed, he doesn't love me anymore.  You name it, I thought it.
I tried to be supportive, but at times I couldn't take it anymore and would call him and demand to know what was going on.
Well, today he says he wants a divorce.  I think he's lost his mind 
I'm not coping well and I honestly can't imagine my life without him.  
I told him if he wants a divorce he will have to get everything in order.  I refuse to do all the work when this is the last thing I want.
Should I just accept this or should I keep fighting for our marriage.",2.442333229426435,3.817908441396512,3.510155081047384,92.21603062655859,75.55860349127181,6.309258104738157,23.254442019950126,6.770275591412753,0.4820703865336658,1499,43,338,13,32,483,198,401,0.14800000000000002,0.77,0.08199999999999999,-0.9786,3,0,0,0,5,2,41.0,9,1,0,2,11,19,5,2,20,2,33,9,4,1,4,67,67,23,0,13,12,4,2,0,0,4,3,3,4,1,18,21,0,3,8,0,3,6,16,9,3,1,25,5,53,10,53,33,7,50,0,2,0,2,62,20,2,5,22,219,71,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07503433812118503,0.0,0.08476160762936992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07043297222187694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16789388867882754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07952851564610929,0.06508821389736208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17286782557820204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07291577866145801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758363356256432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07290622039989363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707115936804296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07607514379333029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04279999806856633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267347916562455,0.0,0.0481067638097057,0.0,0.06769983021631308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485294276817257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698154136478313,0.0,0.0,0.09767111678142662,0.0,0.09555600682157353,0.0,0.0,0.08399895183723266,0.07523802249769,0.0,0.0,0.04651970304816979,0.13799698454431264,0.0,0.0896288075126753,0.09196906600348176,0.0,0.17936575120377402,0.0,0.0,0.14948946439454733,0.07490981144243199,0.0,0.0,0.09240205185985467,0.0,0.15279420017545464,0.0,0.05650243937866465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2564076092508997,0.09913738471182522,0.3378215985153114,0.08996622102105277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08175246924729906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16003729456253818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09087905431853276,0.0,0.1445759196407148,0.0,0.06731458416398488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08688879004916186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07172101364104616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059913486401246226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921125175539632,0.0,0.0,0.06364390770692284,0.06803594335647682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16870684668543295,0.05423829291100248,0.0,0.0672001553036377,0.09871653485858448,0.0,0.08023533009228315,0.1617674130723122,0.0,0.11493932932231915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494883968403816,0.06718874109001934,0.0,0.0,0.2283230907220025,0.0,0.07638062927593617,0.0,0.0,0.16319311358542046,0.0,0.06162392552936188,0.0,0.0,0.060130703936857474,0.0,0.0,0.16352941653501402
divorce,chickenisdelicious,2018/03/01,"Cordial divorce may have taken a bad turn Hey guys, just had some stuff I needed to vent about. My wife and I have been heading for divorce over the past month, taking our time and really being nice about everything. However, I've recently noticed her spending lots of time chatting with a mutual friend on facebook, and she left her phone unattended last night. I admit it was shitty to look at her private messages, but it's nothing either of us hasn't done in the past, and what I found was hard to read. No cheating or sexting, but really close. Lots of overt flirtation on her part. I'll give the guy some credit for pretty much deflecting most of it, but still, just knowing they could potentially hook up when we're done is killing me inside. Anyone have any stories? Words of advice on how to distance myself from the situation? We've been married about nine years, and are still living under the same roof until the house sells. ",6.493251155624037,7.175402875706215,6.285454545454545,78.65865947611711,65.44067796610169,8.922239342578326,30.780174627632256,8.841846274778883,2.466021468926553,747,26,133,11,11,234,128,177,0.107,0.805,0.08800000000000001,-0.6727,1,0,0,0,2,0,20.0,2,0,1,0,9,6,2,0,8,0,16,1,1,1,0,28,25,12,1,2,7,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,5,7,0,0,3,2,3,0,2,3,0,1,9,2,15,3,25,13,9,23,0,0,1,0,20,10,0,7,13,95,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13791624186504362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597716395377938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09868541257309546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784247344410027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11268542872967753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28886178981728483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268437303846263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15474808801148165,0.10904114648353157,0.0,0.0,0.13539029186392715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794932050213849,0.0,0.0,0.12642992882260565,0.0,0.14484601859915855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16285173035025932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614581948040246,0.0,0.07756452865925784,0.11504449041189235,0.0,0.0,0.15334442802452258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1246254714188696,0.0,0.1185185015914102,0.0,0.0,0.239977170687432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126532258068146,0.0,0.10375103089059436,0.10465038578655776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13244636017649053,0.0,0.13542357861719312,0.1606840105944546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15283628628826187,0.2694601263106561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14358581821583302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14117396422925665,0.0,0.18083037763410467,0.0,0.13935454700292332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15864251983202035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22542241788294545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16156669122627465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061165351423066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1645948059739935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15351519056631607,0.0,0.0,0.16976895478583712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09088680913209188
divorce,throwaway9830221,2018/03/01,"What made you take the leap? Without getting too deep into my situation, I’m curious: What made you (or your spouse) decide to initiate divorce?",5.721538461538457,7.7041365384615395,6.726153846153848,69.99384615384618,68.23076923076923,9.815384615384616,36.07692307692308,10.125756701596842,4.260523076923079,114,6,18,3,2,38,23,26,0.0,0.9,0.1,0.3939,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,6,5,1,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,4,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,0,1,0,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031769611321714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7359469503608195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.437124322937068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2923939850780521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.374872368289117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TehPurpleMenace,2018/03/01,"Maternal/parental separation anxiety? Hey guys, 31 year old American mom of a two year old going through a tricky overseas divorce. STBXH filed after starting an affair right before my birthday; we moved overseas for his job shortly after we had our son...yeah, he's kind of a prick lol but that's not what this post is about.

Any other parents going through divorce experience bad separation anxiety when their kids are with the other parent for overnights? 

It's been almost 24 hours since I handed over my son to his dad for visitation til Saturday afternoon, and I feel so friggin' dead and useless without my boy around. I know he's in good hands with his dad, and he's going to daycare, but holy hell, I have no idea wtf to do with myself without my kid, and my head keeps wandering to scary places, like ""shit, what if baby boy is choking on something and the dad doesn't know what to do?"", and ""is baby boy missing Mommy? Is he scared, lonely, confused? Fuck I'm a terrible mother, I should be with him right now"", et cetera.

I didn't want to leave the house today even though I'm surrounded by all of my kid's toys and belongings, which doesn't help, and when I think about going somewhere, all I can think about are seeing all of the moms out there with their kids.

Ugh, just hurts and it sucks and I just wish my douchebag STBXH would just drop the divorce shit, move his stuff back home with our kid, and go to marriage counseling like I wanted to try out to mend our little family back together :'(

",4.684983692106979,5.993477191780822,4.906144814090023,84.65385844748859,69.89041095890411,7.8906718851924325,27.945857795172863,8.269060116576782,1.7994652315720812,1188,41,232,17,21,373,174,292,0.28600000000000003,0.665,0.049,-0.9981,4,2,1,0,3,0,41.0,5,0,2,0,16,19,6,2,10,1,18,7,6,0,3,48,39,19,1,6,9,9,3,2,0,2,0,0,1,9,11,22,0,1,6,1,0,8,7,15,0,1,3,4,30,4,39,33,4,39,1,4,1,1,42,12,6,3,19,141,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626177681107997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721638304012291,0.0,0.16235984987531638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09446745478021132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319627368173675,0.08860403784984447,0.0,0.0,0.09029854130186586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008989103226777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380369662554136,0.10003853885025564,0.0,0.05365641319786345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09810431504875897,0.0,0.0,0.30154632162020284,0.08900668379642263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10507343317193812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890760978847773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112861068484351,0.0,0.10644493473407474,0.0,0.1045047838629547,0.12244584196301456,0.1136014373721753,0.119794224694645,0.0,0.0,0.10530566989151643,0.09432249078279988,0.0,0.11050549279213813,0.1166392766932252,0.0,0.0,0.11236356419052908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368771940137833,0.10635804265855778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24856807091119695,0.0,0.2255731283549385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.222705830261876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35349420457094805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11087064935935542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10163164191426212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18124826244795075,0.0,0.0,0.10624255897212516,0.0,0.08456224997654524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217857057548059,0.08778184714785559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169476590550223,0.0,0.0,0.0751108160640514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147963977926557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13599216761258984,0.10426032608015567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10058738828916776,0.0,0.0,0.07204710777000091,0.0,0.10366179672478563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12518220744299294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1220303808348836,0.20458779272740504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07538313182037237,0.0,0.0,0.13667293363816654
divorce,SelectAcanthocephala,2018/03/01,"Not Sure What to Do --This is a throwaway because my SO knows my reddit username.--

Over the past 5 months, I have been trying to salvage my relationship with my SO.  Below, I will go into a little background, but I am going to keep certain details out or change a few things in order to preserve anonymity.  Under that, I am just going to ask for some advice.

--------------------background information-----------------------

My SO and I have been together for over a decade.  We have two beautiful children (twin toddlers) and a house together.  In the past, I had a terrible substance abuse problem.  I was never one to harm others while under the influence, but I would often use in order to deal with depression, leading me to self-harm or, generally, just being too messed up to function.  I had fallen and injured myself a number of times. 

Before my children were born, I had given up substance abuse and have since been sober over a year.  However, I had amassed a HUGE amount of secret debt during my time of reckless selfishness.  It was an issue that I hid from my SO, and I tried to fix it on my own.  I would just keep paying off my debts from our joint account in hopes that it would ""go away"".

However, that did not last.  After about a year of keeping this a secret, I caved and told my SO what was up.  The fallout was horrible.  It rocked our relationship to the core, and I have been trying to put the pieces back together ever since.  My SO feels that I am not the person I seemed to be.  I plead that I am, but I had a problem that led me to do stupid things...that I am a good person who made bad choices.  That I want to work to fix this.

-------------end background info-----------------

Yesterday was my birthday.  I didn't expect anything from my SO because of our situation.  I just wanted to, hopefully, make some progress on rebuilding our relationship.  We had seen a counselor a few times, but my SO never expressed interest in continuing this process.  

When it was time for bed, my SO said that they did not want to sleep in the same bed as me.  After some questioning, it turns out that they no longer have any feeling for me and view me more as a friend or roommate.  This crushed me.

I have struggled with depression all of my life.  Dabbled in self harm (which I have thankfully stopped), but have always had to fight off manic thoughts of one kind or another.  I am currently taking medication and can hide it pretty decently in my personal and professional lives.  Substance abuse made it way worse than it is now.  however, these past few months have been destroying my mental health.  I struggle to concentrate.  I find it hard to do the tiniest little thing without giving up to depression.

I have already spoken to a lawyer, without my SO knowing, so that I can be informed of my rights as a father in case my SO decides to drop the proverbial hammer...but I don't want it to end this way.  I want to rebuild this broken mess, I want to try to salvage the marriage for the sake of our children and their future.  I want to overcome these hurdles and put hard work into making things right again.

So, my question to you guys is this:  Am I being a fool?  Did I fuck up to the point where I ostensibly killed the marriage?  Am I just not reading the writing on the wall because I am scared of what a split might do to my family?  

When do you know it is over, even when you are not ready to give up?


EDIT - Forgot relevant information.  I am currently the sole provider for my family.  My SO is looking for a job, but claims that they are 'stuck' with me because I am the only one with a job.  This makes me fear that, once they find a job, I will no longer be needed.  Despite this, I continue to provide emotional support for them and encourage them to find something great.  However, deep down, I know that it will probably be another nail in the coffin.",4.508009788718745,6.116673610583447,4.913099195580539,83.27877459294437,70.69606512890095,7.815167668152743,28.900198681915107,8.362691859325677,2.062961252180655,3029,116,572,47,56,960,315,737,0.193,0.7120000000000001,0.095,-0.9982,11,0,1,0,4,1,173.0,7,3,7,4,31,34,5,4,43,0,73,6,1,9,6,111,119,44,2,16,23,1,4,0,1,7,4,1,2,8,48,24,0,5,20,2,4,9,14,22,0,4,32,8,98,12,104,74,12,92,0,3,3,1,50,44,1,14,34,445,146,11,0.0,0.2226975648755615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06122293016442185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06913817643903382,0.0,0.05213158586960631,0.0,0.0,0.042605592544142826,0.13139242886292946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05155735949247869,0.0,0.058571278237988925,0.0,0.05886373259141998,0.048175615835159925,0.05231190630274506,0.15276861234919112,0.0,0.053312342715835424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0662776394921119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459158848201907,0.16188654699531352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047520640937882,0.11098237091303433,0.0,0.0,0.04138113681301082,0.056672432782141235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812569264318873,0.07050105748189964,0.06335759244978773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17178871804958873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04840487534994097,0.05792087879135713,0.0,0.1202032519394924,0.14242658285407853,0.052549628843858505,0.0,0.06907418755301853,0.0,0.0620354526089786,0.0,0.0,0.11224799339549148,0.0,0.0,0.06659627774033124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12445539085256295,0.0,0.07229213890663777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06539253960279168,0.18651769615223507,0.16706425868874858,0.06931529218197259,0.06524254565776706,0.1377278747484681,0.051069842877396465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04425304780782592,0.0,0.12558777448781028,0.05532297306108292,0.0,0.052612004561603073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11856590860668742,0.12546233720048108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311542328304194,0.06313860474584024,0.06646400240532142,0.0,0.0,0.1000166547913392,0.0,0.0,0.046455755856222726,0.0966423603459871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672246698898457,0.12736410139235674,0.04764976328138696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17942562390175198,0.0,0.16411625341112693,0.0,0.0,0.059226507845959175,0.0,0.0,0.06373973364088183,0.06754958596897967,0.11989924204025434,0.0,0.12596537788839632,0.1403694342966332,0.0,0.06266907824750591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2017948018307676,0.0,0.1070091426169602,0.05959651682405717,0.0,0.06272570556809487,0.0,0.0,0.057036140360952864,0.13071965786462855,0.0,0.0,0.10365296829615243,0.07042361205207293,0.06269737030750189,0.0,0.0,0.0482326657247351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05237998078378553,0.0,0.13099520583688434,0.0,0.0,0.07109688750562139,0.059048885123275524,0.0,0.04710659986417836,0.0,0.0,0.05768165791827892,0.0,0.0,0.12486986119322653,0.0,0.0,0.04973878790215722,0.14613182864180824,0.0,0.0,0.05986678908648919,0.0,0.17014671757669467,0.06814751956782887,0.06120202113848371,0.0,0.0,0.054111318966751434,0.0,0.0,0.25867692070300474,0.09946067914246393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078882298771244,0.0,0.09122298446347016,0.0,0.06384786656389294,0.1335188132829001,0.0,0.0,0.08069182705552749
divorce,cheated-on1234,2018/03/01,"Need advice, found out about more lies Wife and I been married for 5 years, together for 11. We have a 5 month old. I’m 29.

Our relationship has been great up until this. 
We really did believe that we were best friends and perfect for each other.

It started 2 weeks ago, had a big fight about her not being happy, she said she wants out. I knew the guy at her school she teaches at was becoming more then a friend, even though I had tried to convince myself otherwise. They meet about 6 months ago. Constant texting, at least 50 text a night. (Knew it was a problem, we fought about it many times, she made me feel bad for not trusting her) 

She said she loves this guy, but nothing happened. 
The next day admits that he kissed her. 
I set up counseling for that next Thursday.
It goes well and I think it was beneficial. 

Then next day she breaks down and say she can’t hurt me anymore and it’s over. I’m devastated obviously. After that she gets an apartment the next day. 
Then I contact the wife of the guy. (Btw he has two kids and the one is less then a month old) Turns out they love each other and have been making out every day for 4 months(so right after my wife went back to work after having my daughter). He also had touched her under her pants. Along with some nude photos. wife promised that’s all that happened, but I can’t believe her after 4 months of lies.

I confronted her about all of the new lies and she just says she was unhappy and I deserve better.  She said she didn’t tell me because she wanted to protect me. 
What is even more messed up is we had started trying for a second baby.

I’m going to the counselor we saw together, tomorrow. I hope he can help me. 
Also getting a lawyer. 

Obviously we will never be getting back together. I’m so sick to my stomach and I can’t believe it.

Please any advice would be great. 

",1.909413190364276,4.152611285326085,3.0389189189189203,90.98986486486488,80.16847826086956,5.717508813160987,22.445945945945944,6.885778809224403,0.6114132491186837,1435,46,297,16,37,460,189,368,0.115,0.735,0.149,0.9292,0,0,0,0,1,0,47.0,8,0,2,4,15,23,3,0,17,0,31,6,2,2,6,51,64,21,0,6,5,5,2,0,2,2,1,5,0,4,18,25,0,1,6,0,0,2,7,7,1,3,24,8,52,16,40,35,11,58,0,1,1,4,62,16,0,2,38,201,70,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16591935273304795,0.15051088533000845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13578307197075978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05773239143199466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08419431176208904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130560020165954,0.07088485973044145,0.05175199310705653,0.09376128723744777,0.0,0.28694715555357103,0.08909342332163547,0.0750838734012423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174273432025272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21900434645469455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121464035931168,0.0,0.07152878960642647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292611731323974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09308440489796133,0.1311813329681705,0.0,0.13306442962673806,0.0,0.04824852056178879,0.0,0.0,0.18719692864387127,0.0,0.2521820365933297,0.15014702558445356,0.0903736840634382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05690419662093494,0.0,0.0,0.08432117606482882,0.0,0.0,0.09088323905677748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15324444059569334,0.08033092649843228,0.05666893576413706,0.0860715175541155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710536490320956,0.0,0.0,0.06294952660456156,0.06547725595678201,0.08199337018507802,0.3611526890251479,0.07966942129207392,0.0,0.08146028417358155,0.0,0.17816875982579494,0.0,0.05752792624074302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09319063740799734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08123428827677508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05438674010723593,0.0,0.0,0.09114684866910552,0.0,0.07250097157977198,0.24226745118297324,0.1350258816407445,0.0,0.08591958236240409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12018006831612173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07420310328953879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054398117510138025,0.08341017823777312,0.0,0.049503712001429785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11527802236090705,0.09234278975777983,0.08293134374637154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014806808670916,0.0,0.06809868652810815,0.0,0.07633196432978613,0.07869971547838485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061805513456752025,0.0,0.0,0.06030789177107297,0.0,0.0,0.05467043018009802
divorce,Throwsmithaway1337,2018/03/01,"Can I keep everything if wife agrees? I’m virginia, if my wife agrees, can we just get divorced without me giving anything up? Not sure how this works...",1.5222413793103442,4.245856310344827,1.8857758620689644,94.45556034482763,89.34482758620689,4.279310344827587,24.49137931034483,5.985473137389443,0.6472000000000002,119,5,23,1,4,36,24,29,0.141,0.743,0.116,-0.1921,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,9,6,3,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,2,0,14,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3412359281062161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3726763101357872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21664659529550184,0.3977867431607098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685754269821143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908191054977851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39972456427954206,0.0,0.3018827968929661,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tryagainlater1111,2018/03/01,"I bought a bedroom set Last night I bought a bedroom set off craigslist and I'm so happy about it. I haven't had my own furniture since my ex and I left the country for his job almost 5 years ago. I still live with my dad but I'm finally collecting things for the house I'll be moving into in a few months. My divorce is final but I'm still dealing with him not making payments to his debt he left me, and I'm almost two years in and I'm so tired of it. But it's the small steps forward that seem like the biggest victories.

Hope everyone is getting through the week okay.",1.1034972677595611,3.0733377377049216,2.689754098360656,93.88632513661207,81.45901639344262,5.706010928961749,23.281420765027317,6.816661863887847,0.6117519125683057,452,16,101,5,12,148,79,122,0.07,0.8270000000000001,0.103,0.4513,2,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,8,1,5,1,0,1,0,16,16,9,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,5,7,0,0,1,0,3,3,2,0,0,1,3,0,13,4,12,12,2,24,0,0,0,0,8,9,0,4,13,58,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501316778160705,0.0,0.3391887684071379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17460767376503047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183532598959915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37106172354360095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08848611861172644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029198073102168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16821746294668916,0.0,0.19542424180356527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.168068432265607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805491820115498,0.0,0.0,0.3680307051947269,0.0,0.0,0.08274308716206047,0.0,0.1495522228045255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130523202712802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13518536887924154,0.18000798097062995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15893739330532922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15418335456688925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14010031413045296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.270509898823626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11251844860254058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19465992498067594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16544480158873498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13585422799313146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2181307588980878
divorce,Joebob1928384,2018/03/01,"Wife taking they kids back to her hometown... which is a drug infested ghetto. Hey everyone! My history...

Divorce has lingered on our minds from time to time, due to differences in each other, and I'm done considering counseling (5th time). We are from totally different backgrounds and that was the initial attraction, but now were eating at each other and the quality of life sucks.

I'm afraid of divorcing my wife, because of what might happen to my 2 children.  She will most likely move back to her hometown, and live with her family, who are surrounded by gang activity, drugs, and no opportunities for child hood success due to the ""island attitude"" most of the men in her family have. I will not be able to move over there to see them, or to provide fatherly mentorship needed.  Sure, there's nothing wrong with living local (Hawaii), if that's your thing,  but I want to provide more opportunities to my children.  Anyone deal with something similar? What should we do? She has no education, career path, or aspiration to be more than she is right now.  Help!",6.536334134615388,7.889614484375002,6.948125000000001,71.5536057692308,65.61458333333334,10.699358974358978,32.99839743589744,10.727762888450028,3.858269551282053,839,35,142,23,13,273,126,192,0.043,0.8320000000000001,0.125,0.9533,1,0,3,0,1,0,38.0,3,1,2,3,6,9,1,1,5,0,17,4,0,0,2,27,25,10,0,4,6,3,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,5,9,12,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,3,1,19,6,29,16,7,19,0,0,1,0,27,8,1,6,10,105,28,2,0.1520160432963655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1062931520218776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23378190780909405,0.0,0.0926675690315627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15672186563649135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31764882055838106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15556519113510367,0.0,0.0,0.3525806966484044,0.15555036313899526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14525784387409515,0.0,0.0,0.28661439307684616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13442728504628335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101893149460887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737342702872214,0.07426736012766254,0.0,0.26846590258742137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16126499904132133,0.15349286882662855,0.0,0.0,0.3231379927223468,0.0,0.11271796991596453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1458634934382226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12982087037354706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12113710492372975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11702937696146047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14327332177084934,0.0,0.11429714592885255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10099270440567253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26592533198024354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966300093606774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620567946630552,0.0,0.0
divorce,ImaBaaaaadMan,2018/03/01,"Has anyone tried this approach to child placement? For my wife, the priority is that she wants the kids to have one ""home"" and not be splitting nights between two houses. She also wants to see the kids every day or close to every day.

For me, I'm not as concerned with overnights, but really want to see my kids most days if possible.

I work 40-60 hours per week and she is a stay at home mom.

I'm thinking about proposing the following as we negotiate a divorce:

The kids stay with her most nights overnight, but I get them every other weekend, including overnight. During the weeks, Mon-Thurs, I get to come pick up the kids for 2-3 hours per day. It could be from after school until dinner time, or from dinner time until bed time, depending on my daily work schedule.

Has anyone tried something like this?",5.5421153846153866,6.236584365384619,5.470923076923079,83.62407692307694,67.52564102564102,8.034871794871796,28.42051282051282,7.908726449838941,1.6861405128205127,635,20,123,7,10,198,97,156,0.0,0.963,0.037000000000000005,0.6704,0,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,1,0,1,2,2,1,0,0,9,0,8,2,0,2,0,23,20,12,0,5,7,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,6,5,7,2,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,2,13,1,23,17,2,27,0,0,2,0,15,4,0,6,19,72,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055404364601342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18456011116710613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368485919058753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537137511513144,0.0,0.0,0.3404520751522305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33358413084746125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13790308100800652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2647635634336247,0.0,0.2599377700831013,0.15228154128117607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06447636550672488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456763718885302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476993744110455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08942974048196375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14878209093449596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454662580910892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13356584280186745,0.2103341290188041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10160087649568783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.281335784635511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0845643124920016,0.0,0.0,0.2308672190957406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17920485400199573,0.0,0.12892049190199947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23352699264573976,0.0,0.21172492253190786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19215888317132787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,catchristopher,2018/03/01,"CA divorce (legal advice) So I (the respondent) just got back from court, where I was planning on finalizing a divorce. The judge pushed back the trail because I was missing a FL-160 ""community and quasi-community property declaration"". I had the FL-160 ""Separate Property Declaration"" but not the other which is the same thing with a different box checked. Anyways, neither of us have kids or anything to declare. We just want to divorce, the judge even admitted that in our case the form is pointless but either way required. So I have a month to file the form which would just be filled with a bunch of zeros and my signature then come back to trail to settle the divorce.

My question, can I just file the form with the court and not show up the next trial? There was a case before us where the guys respondent didn't show up because she was at work and no one seemed to care. Its my understanding that if I dont go to court then she will get everything she wants but we've already filed everything and she doesn't want anything of mines nor I hers, so whats the harm of just saving myself the hassle?",6.262019686474668,6.815284563981045,6.2309952606635095,79.2982099890631,65.91943127962085,9.525483047757927,32.344513306598614,9.466822959209583,2.807931534815895,877,34,167,16,13,277,119,211,0.049,0.908,0.043,-0.4776,1,0,0,0,4,0,25.0,4,0,0,3,17,4,0,0,22,0,16,0,0,0,0,34,28,16,0,5,13,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,8,10,0,1,4,2,1,4,8,2,0,2,7,0,22,2,20,18,7,20,0,1,0,0,19,7,0,4,8,129,30,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541937972098278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17412884239070373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2597009000682325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3639999483165231,0.0,0.1923786755169628,0.0,0.13427048557508378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16088079686622342,0.0,0.0,0.1359249653917524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16486042532779982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18493258522692224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10422099368523068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836289065852578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17285485924791635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08244049228228824,0.0,0.0896775749499032,0.0,0.1262017254441518,0.0,0.0,0.15624018604989054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594911534847755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16781497630033776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10692483120927987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767646209374933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364910396854555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048308643114503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16426840155832073,0.3796118489421617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27921174921101777,0.12524898554232453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148754096664398,0.0,0.0,0.11209184077354306,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,disgr4ce,2018/03/01,"Finding a cheap(er) lawyer in NYC to evaluate a prenup? Hi all, anticipating a very likely divorce, I need to have a lawyer evaluate our pre-nuptial agreement (it is signed and notarized). Any advice? My therapist said you can get a cheaper lawyer (something like a beginner overseen by an experienced lawyer or something like that) through the NY Bar Association, but I haven't been able to figure out how. Otherwise I'd have to pay a $2500 retainer, as far as I can tell....",4.926737012987012,6.9018456022727275,6.0742207792207825,73.90454545454547,70.25,9.574025974025977,35.298701298701296,9.957137785484203,3.9210337662337658,375,20,66,10,7,125,66,88,0.021,0.903,0.077,0.5204,0,0,2,0,1,0,20.0,1,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,9,0,7,1,0,1,1,11,10,6,0,1,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,1,1,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,6,4,10,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,3,0,1,4,39,8,5,0.2852262651667273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27871980523618584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19396364113876813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606916390529126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14901895126965675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4180414374759344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21149166153224533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27131549433106344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4391622276397517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493003276122521,0.0,0.0,0.3311696776710375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2353415400735329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,EraVida,2018/03/02,"Signed Just signed my divorce papers. Got a bit emotional and then angry. Now, I'm enjoying a nice burger and hitting the gym later tonight. Counting down till May when all of this is finally over. ",3.1806756756756767,5.950209162162165,3.9634459459459457,83.12192567567571,79.0,6.943243243243244,28.16891891891892,8.07648339933343,2.3080864864864874,157,7,27,3,4,50,34,37,0.08,0.73,0.19,0.5423,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,7,5,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,4,2,2,9,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,18,2,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5266741466021161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5426539126890397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5284639697269945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858327449097539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,thisnameistrash1,2018/03/02,"OK to be talked out of separation? Long time lurker, first post.  I'm sorry if it's scatter-brained. 

Over our entire 12+ year relationship I've always been given a feeling of nothing I do is right.  If I made a minor mistake I was berated and told I never do anything, always do this, etc.  I did do a lot, and did a lot most other guys wouldn't have do.  After sleeping next to her dying relative (in her place), and being berated for minor things after that, I figured I could never do anything that would be good enough for her.
   I told her I wanted to move out, and she begged me to stay until we go through counseling (starting next week).  I'm always miserable.  I love her, and hate what I'm putting her through, but is it bad to be talked out of my previous decision?

EDIT:
Thanks for all of the replies, they really help.  I'm going to stick around to see how the first counseling session goes in 4 days.  Until then I'm sleeping in a separate bedroom and giving myself space.",3.4146598639455803,4.794284071428573,4.978448979591839,82.64274149659867,73.08163265306122,7.675646258503402,27.352380952380948,8.238735603445708,1.8614303401360548,762,28,149,12,15,257,118,196,0.064,0.835,0.101,0.7915,0,0,0,0,0,0,30.0,2,0,1,2,2,8,1,1,7,1,20,3,2,2,3,30,39,13,1,7,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,8,11,0,0,3,0,0,4,3,4,0,2,8,2,23,4,28,24,6,34,0,1,1,1,19,11,0,5,17,107,31,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3181937812216107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20979259685605506,0.113474621594209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10643146563144422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14229779452281469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177379160915488,0.0,0.0,0.08220709493348871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1322929147818123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13170976819411626,0.1421618636783622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445226239974343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168504891522361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12228008097761275,0.14488737870027166,0.10691512528471528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1262145581939369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1258494544573503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0854399242655913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280623928225925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2167395273357557,0.11504593840273974,0.12061444820900573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13547959686990796,0.0,0.0,0.19662422535662452,0.0,0.27112990105259743,0.0,0.0,0.12231014448385688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.133178193603587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12208026706182468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281417628894287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166003971146632,0.0,0.0,0.13685422710054834,0.0,0.10885800852653756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157645656452514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25512253269633395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426913440998739,0.09022336264198648,0.1358652171256561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20490984447245844,0.0,0.11735652217995875,0.0,0.0,0.08468487883093836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07432832120349707,0.0,0.0,0.2436045847095899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07518464244099125,0.0,0.10224811112450087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055046923625812,0.0,0.0,0.08208599174628198
divorce,sellerofstuff116,2018/03/02,"Guilt over wanting a divorce I know I need to start the process but I keep making excuses. I just want to lay it all out and see it in black and white. 

Background:

Married for 7 years, together for 12.

2 kids- 1 mine from previous but child doesn't know, 1 together 

Situation:

He was always a bit shady when I think about behaviors I tried not to see earlier. Addictive personality I tried to rationalize. I went to school, he worked. I took out student loans to pay for college. 4 years ago things were getting bad. Bills not paid, lots of lying, he was in jail twice. I quit my job and decided to move close to my family. He chose to come with me. He started drinking and abusing alcohol. I left a couple of times but only temporary. Lots of promises not kept. I moved again with the understanding that he could only move if sober. He hid it well. After it getting pretty bad he went to detox. Allegedly is 40+ days sober. So then the kicker, he has to have major surgery and continue to live with me while recuperating. He doesn't make enough money to support himself.

Guilt: 

Lease for house ends this summer in June. I'll move me and the kids in with family. He has nowhere to go. He doesn't have the money to get an apartment or pay monthly bills. And he'll need another surgery in 3 months (May). He has no family around and no good friends. I need out of this marriage so I can start healing from emotional abuse and pay down loads of debt. But I'm worried about his future. 
",1.5428162771958114,4.07214099315069,2.9943432715551985,88.89122884770347,84.27397260273972,6.448992747784046,23.31426269137792,7.724431198458867,1.2859186946011278,1158,43,236,22,34,377,170,292,0.149,0.77,0.081,-0.9633,3,0,2,0,2,0,41.0,0,0,0,2,9,9,0,2,9,0,15,5,0,2,1,48,45,20,0,7,10,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,0,4,8,19,2,2,5,1,10,9,8,4,1,1,8,4,22,5,44,34,6,43,0,0,4,0,24,14,0,5,20,131,30,8,0.0,0.2357111179267305,0.0,0.10843686677773663,0.0,0.0,0.08817405936910806,0.1063030659693032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276692018265565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10430285680838684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854929451028892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610641327472658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10859536178127464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0856845060225155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941861642733815,0.1100615457734654,0.0,0.06414985269686296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09744262754478207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189024247854304,0.08810080186335184,0.1027789904901333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2813140904337948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685019336570233,0.0,0.1559067424538661,0.0,0.05653103304998752,0.08343062777769016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11477490260290693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09870852134761296,0.08841341216085928,0.0,0.0,0.10933210476989598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10807433088588626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08783373878298703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16913149361895813,0.0,0.0,0.1327938532949406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879184079986458,0.4228830219419185,0.0,0.22126699808792685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1513026733580462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868532747160911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10119664227967284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10579847626996436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10066884318141912,0.15852925422934794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118083284914318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121590884516092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1128772569499707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608337768232384,0.0637362916627574,0.0,0.0,0.05800169511241361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11051471221617803,0.1350670573137265,0.0,0.0,0.1035516676577133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11733984132532872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08943538056822914,0.1844191765853492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724152675193563,0.10101650574981397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12811070098658275
divorce,addison_walker,2018/03/02,"I’m back but now what... After a brief attempt at reconciliation, unfortunately I’m back to where I started. This time though it was my choice and I think I have the answers I need. I know it’ll still be hard moving forward but at least I’m not blind sighted this time. 

So my question is to my fellow r/divorce redditors, where to I start now? Hire a lawyer? Move this along quickly? Any tips? Everyone was so helpful the first time around I figure why not ask the “experts”. ",0.7748527004909995,3.3139840957446838,2.419361702127663,90.59576923076924,91.02127659574468,4.594435351882161,22.124386252045827,6.297961479604792,0.4452612111292962,371,14,76,4,13,121,63,94,0.053,0.8490000000000001,0.098,0.7245,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,2,12,0,0,0,5,0,6,1,0,0,0,13,15,6,0,1,4,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,3,0,0,5,0,0,4,2,0,0,1,2,3,10,0,8,11,1,22,0,0,2,0,4,6,0,1,14,52,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14531607853467388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19022881686693466,0.1997706864301768,0.0,0.0,0.3286278235377244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20418932128446576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817640429591488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19142367526890786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432314598445278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743807249380417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4542358998002968,0.0,0.15844793754238148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393809652686251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.302500828608489,0.0,0.17065258250561305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692350031183384,0.20994869103368108,0.0,0.37381191680400333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19282139158845465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,yeahjustsayin,2018/03/02,"Finally Had The Conversation... I Told Him I Need A Divorce (Me 32F, Him 35M, married almost 8 years) So last night I sat my husband down and told him that I had reached my capacity in our marriage and the healthiest choice for me is a divorce. We had a surprisingly calm conversation for about an hour... I was very prepared to not discuss logistics or blaming or the coulda, shoulda, woulda business. I felt this initial conversation would be too emotional for all that. I answered his questions honestly (no their isn't someone else, no this is a spur of the moment decision, etc.).



I received about two dozen texts through the night and resisted engaging too much - he's good at pulling me back in and the fact that I do love him makes it easy to give second, third, hundredth chances.... But I have to look out for myself now.



I know I did the hardest thing yet, but feel overwhelmed with everything ahead. It's going to be hard to resist the temptation of going back to what we know...",4.2981996434937635,6.162808160427812,4.9842994652406425,81.5321354723708,71.67379679144385,8.195222816399287,32.252762923351156,8.841846274778883,2.7922608912655966,774,37,145,15,15,249,123,187,0.021,0.8640000000000001,0.115,0.8622,0,0,0,0,2,0,34.0,3,0,1,1,9,7,0,1,13,0,13,1,0,1,2,26,27,9,0,2,5,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,8,0,0,7,0,0,4,4,1,0,4,9,4,27,6,22,15,3,21,0,1,1,1,24,5,0,4,12,109,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17836027413031347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27392476377154984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879542266565804,0.20035970410316006,0.0,0.0,0.19864957357558632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16008171483500525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006222984427274,0.0,0.17102200486130964,0.1951204665216459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17086780740261318,0.20245806611266448,0.14939761970651289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595594811901195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754111634220501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957788961345121,0.14519061566236596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957495271463386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16075919387926466,0.0,0.11889569887202192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13093783106586204,0.13207285187890905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33430490251928296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19953384852419964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15091950249287686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11833423277375475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3404003410021653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17399621044870134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14696668482292413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12653050287487028,0.0,0.0,0.1147026835116676
divorce,tfnyelice,2018/03/02,Coming across wedding pictures by accident Feels like a goddamn knife straight to the heart. Every single time.,7.1433333333333335,10.964292222222225,4.964444444444447,75.50000000000003,71.22222222222223,5.822222222222222,36.77777777777778,7.1686216300943375,3.3092444444444453,92,5,11,1,2,26,18,18,0.263,0.551,0.18600000000000005,-0.4215,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4202822229142196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4110763768065215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2466966500145124,0.3485555046313078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5781632638506997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383630539152713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28449812557981485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Neuromancer84,2018/03/02,"Buying out equity in our house STBXW and I have been going through a mediator who is putting together our divorce paperwork.
 
So far everything has been very amicable and she has agreed to let me keep the house in exchange for buying her out of her equity in the house.  The mortgage is in my name only, so it makes things easier.
 
Since the paper work should be done and our filing with the court next week, I have started the application process to secure a home equity line to buy her out.
 
It will take several weeks before I actually get the home equity line and sign the loan papers, certainly after we have filed for divorce.
 
My question here is - did I start the too soon?  Should I have waited before even applying for the home equity line?  What happens if I get the loan before the divorce is final, does that work against me in that I can’t use it to buy her out?
 
 
I want to be able to buy her out immediately after the divorce is final so she can use the money to get her own place.
 
From my research, it seems that any debt obtained after the paperwork has been filed with the court is no longer a joint responsibility, is that correct?

Thanks!",6.367102449120388,6.4683877937219725,6.97443946188341,75.61218696102105,65.68161434977578,10.269610210417387,30.15833045877889,10.035473477838034,2.7769795791652294,910,29,174,19,13,300,116,223,0.021,0.911,0.068,0.8574,2,0,0,0,4,0,18.0,4,0,0,3,7,3,0,0,19,0,27,0,0,3,2,27,43,8,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,11,12,0,3,2,0,10,2,2,0,0,0,5,0,25,3,29,32,1,25,0,0,0,0,19,12,0,3,11,125,36,5,0.1249123035157098,0.0,0.1218963894149252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084944649816087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188735101979767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10931159857575662,0.1278286551220352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08250339839613442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11226312400809328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27367064567260113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19578456906527086,0.0,0.07099054069314202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11045953746972476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37589167545885466,0.0,0.0,0.4323960816306828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11102779473842292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277312934123032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08337993255666935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13284565188814412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500143558766902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050677094535448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255713660430229,0.1399303674612188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11371546974267766,0.0,0.14111534809913842,0.0,0.103328748276323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17682714269703448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391850671583392,0.0,0.0,0.11500246658001508,0.0,0.0,0.08298618403716433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2157682485441308,0.0,0.10306573227516706,0.07367651297975365,0.0,0.20039423057260897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818752893155829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,fckedupinthehead,2018/03/02,"Struggling with initiating divorce So guys I’m really struggling with having this divorce conversation and it’s taking a toll on me mentally.  I decided to myself that that’s it and that I’ve had enough and I am going to separate for good.  But what happens is I end up feeling so bad for my SO and then ultimately end up just kinda beating around the bush but never saying anything definitive. 
I also am getting guilt tripped into thinking that I’m not being patient enough and that I should be by my wife’s side helping her.

I feel like it’s making things worse for me continuing to fake it.

Edit: sorry forgot to mention to review my posts to better understand the context of my issues ",4.8745112781954925,6.510808819548871,6.365421052631582,73.11444736842108,69.82706766917292,8.327518796992482,31.34511278195489,8.841846274778883,2.882143458646617,555,24,92,10,10,189,88,133,0.15,0.757,0.094,-0.7811,0,0,0,0,2,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,6,8,0,3,3,0,8,0,0,1,1,23,20,12,0,1,4,1,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,1,12,9,0,1,5,0,0,2,2,5,0,0,2,3,14,3,18,15,2,14,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,1,6,72,26,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468550743751538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1488857051491928,0.16106144168837014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106466146154954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16001329423114422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204913656396018,0.37388739176668895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829620430778255,0.12925272242167654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945257472967572,0.0,0.1028237405336521,0.15175114906510298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1791440096400691,0.15999121445417328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127008829491062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18883849883116044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0883907246734854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12076871745461447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1823296573419737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13954036929968971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173275958434059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11590506793044493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438786729364619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20253051540777164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782837946740344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360329428620605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12019840632288074,0.11592931462465088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18834911079103367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843778410921826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,saltybeach0,2018/03/02,"Divorced Parents vs. Married Parents I've noticed on this sub, and with other divorced friends that we all really value our kids.  We emphasize their strengths and abilities, we appreciate our relationships with them, we focuse on how to improve our relationships with them, etc...  Do you ever feel like you truly appreciate your role as a parent more now than you did when you were married?",11.721715686274516,10.131419897058828,10.602941176470589,59.416568627451,55.911764705882355,13.184313725490195,46.19607843137257,11.855464076750405,5.698396078431374,315,16,47,7,3,100,50,68,0.0,0.7020000000000001,0.298,0.969,3,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,7,5,3,1,4,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,1,2,14,4,5,0,0,1,3,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,15,3,8,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,25,2,0,0,4,39,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2429229677871161,0.0,0.19702748888004504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11013456392329704,0.15560814669909614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828448279982458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641413653910348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24798552187979114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.725578318592946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953882344426854,0.0,0.0,0.4677067976077364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,L3xxB0t68,2018/03/02,"Submitted for my name change today I’ve been divorced for 6 months now.. I have honestly never been happier in life than right now, it was a good thing for me to go through with the divorce. I’m happy with the idea of going back to my maiden name and moving on.. but today in the social security office I was feeling nostalgic and sad. I don’t regret the decision to get the divorce & the reasons behind it (different views on kids, entirely different love languages, no more love left)- but I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming heaving in my chest. I’m hoping this gets better as time goes. ",4.382289272030654,6.0819839913793095,5.509080459770118,78.52174329501919,71.15517241379311,8.603831417624523,28.406130268199234,9.150863307647796,2.564591187739464,477,18,85,10,9,158,80,116,0.091,0.6579999999999999,0.251,0.9724,2,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,0,0,1,3,11,0,1,7,0,7,4,1,1,1,18,18,6,0,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,5,4,0,1,5,0,0,3,4,3,0,0,4,3,8,8,18,13,1,18,0,3,1,2,10,7,0,1,8,56,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1962349758763113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926409023593225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16017900896955667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915926762293234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3784473693807287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18315152425345987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18924728219431086,0.0,0.2058604559872569,0.1519083072693131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19279728781240307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12139567936567515,0.0,0.0,0.17988526437673516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20445361087292496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1967789180237804,0.0,0.12792489180026764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3269216346037113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456201749051198,0.1924935894264799,0.0,0.0,0.13968488164103976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862134895146305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466881569785562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1846210637623751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203228875265026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1056079710529715,0.0,0.34334634739560405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ImperfectHarmony1968,2018/03/02,"World Falling Apart New to this.  I am 49. Headed toward divorce after 16 years of marriage. Two amazing kids, 13 and 14 years old. Been through hell since my husband and I finally started being honest last October about the slow death of our marriage...after almost 10 years of emotional disconnect and quiet desperation. I want us to work on us again...for then possibility of recreation, for keeping our family together, for the kids. But he is certain in his decision to end our marriage. I have accepted it, and every day is a new fresh hell for me. We haven't told our kids yet, but that part is coming soon and I can barely stand the thought of doing this to them. We have committed to walking through our separation together, and trying to remain close as friends and parents. I am so sad and scared and lonely and angry. Struggling to stay hopeful and grateful.",4.889512661251793,6.9364807701863365,5.584099378881991,77.08573339703773,70.49068322981367,8.183659818442429,32.26039178213091,8.841846274778883,2.9799934065934064,688,32,116,13,13,223,107,161,0.171,0.6859999999999999,0.142,-0.8585,1,2,0,0,1,0,24.0,9,0,1,1,4,12,2,2,4,0,12,1,1,0,2,26,19,16,1,2,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,3,4,15,0,1,3,0,0,3,1,6,0,1,3,1,19,6,23,15,1,27,2,2,0,0,22,6,2,2,16,81,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16377883987560898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408899851217823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10548081807988244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839797570161885,0.1448630708156626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13780393615175074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541871059136809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17916884126088894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12636383288543146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16785680157121702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16244913448995688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14537709210386568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1333208905960428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159289906070549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17162569462146024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1816108371382711,0.17711643321979115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1843860891185792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16374921986111848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13529614805494905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576657840900985,0.17433013856784482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098542429347394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1298460916788577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628584676278312,0.0,0.11104455507027956,0.0,0.1597715501895912,0.0,0.3934781781651915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.096470232869019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11907153856627288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159762877876282
divorce,CampBenCh,2018/03/03,"Had a date last night and it was awesome STBX started the divorce process the weekend after Thanksgiving (married 2.5 years) and we are just waiting for the court date in a couple weeks. Haven't talked to STBX in a while, and we've been separated for months. 

I've had a couple dates since then, but nothing past a first date. Last night I had a second date with a gal and it was awesome. It's been so long since I've had real, steady, and fun conversation with someone. We ended up kissing a few times and it was great. I'd almost forgot the rush of a first kiss. 

I'm not sure how long we'll date, but we are going out again tonight and I'm excited. Just feels good to be back out there and have positive experiences again.",3.515083487940629,4.784604095238098,4.1510698824984535,89.1035621521336,72.6734693877551,6.978107606679036,25.608534322820034,7.348242739294969,1.023481632653061,570,18,122,6,11,181,86,147,0.015,0.741,0.244,0.9909,0,0,0,0,1,0,17.0,4,0,0,2,8,7,0,0,13,0,15,2,0,1,1,27,22,14,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,15,0,2,1,1,0,2,2,0,0,3,10,1,5,7,13,10,1,36,0,0,0,2,7,5,0,1,29,74,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17277488128871454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13267337352288006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3818266545944913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1528201071780958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16877819946200628,0.0,0.0,0.08724191048603319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2935265615058876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09805902269751364,0.14471919902270627,0.0,0.19022705422942884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812878765478109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053866990328669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772057470987015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238360679172549,0.0,0.1655577365215485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16470990151909568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19638942439881185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2854553852838158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461934237009957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212540311684128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1626178442404536,0.0,0.0,0.1386819146727452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061004072742108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840197730786238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111074270241443
divorce,personguy,2018/03/03,"I just ran into my STBX on a dating app... that's a weird experience. Just seeing her wonderful profile... she looks and sounds perfect. But.... there were years of therapy, self help books... it just didn't work. Even though I'm putting myself out there too, it still hurt a bit.  Why? She has every right to be out there too. Ah well. Life is weird. Pretty sure ""trial separation"" is leading to divorce. Might be for the best. Anyone else experience that?",0.833596638655461,3.3296239647058816,2.0484453781512606,91.19014705882354,97.58823529411764,4.781512605042017,17.83613445378151,6.5431188927421005,0.1882605042016814,347,10,68,5,14,110,68,85,0.07,0.701,0.229,0.9474,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,0,0,0,4,12,7,0,0,4,1,8,1,0,1,2,13,13,3,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,4,4,0,0,1,1,0,3,1,3,2,0,3,3,6,4,8,7,2,11,0,1,2,0,6,5,0,2,3,45,10,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855142727133887,0.20302858958783696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079467104914936,0.0,0.2163290105480853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552930521498913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087652742027314,0.0,0.1669503308947662,0.0,0.0,0.3876583954591665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328160941550783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.212124193863808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13995954850207498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16639650304331965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020635253611966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2015902809849565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19919596829481453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1692194326513179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15790028297633146,0.0,0.20671417225915534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824323434582874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18675448835284536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266023501062969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19468184675582054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17816108412884898,0.0,0.17879999357769474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21488574989277456,0.14425591401030252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12760241657866028
divorce,221gp,2018/03/03,"Need Advice: Mother leaving Stepdad Hello everyone, I am posting here not because my (20) mom is going through a divorce but because the case is similar to divorce. They are not married- however living together and been together for approx. 10 years. Mom (52) and her boyfriend (68) have been living in a house he bought for us all to live in three years ago. She pays rent- and has withheld February rent from him with no explanation (but he's not asking why). There is a child involved living in the house- my younger sister age 14. Mom is financially struggling and today we are looking at a couple places together for her to start moving into in the next week or two. As of now- mom has not packed anything at all and is saying she wants to tell BF she's moving out today- but not saying she's breaking up. They have not broken up before, and I'm not sure what to expect from him. He is emotionally abusive and has made some physical threats but nothing very realistic. I will not be able to be present when she tells him and I'm worried about her and the scene. I'm trying to get the younger sister to leave the house tonight because of that. Any advice in this situation would be MUCH appreciated- anyone who's lived with a partner and had a child involved- please anything. Thank you. ",3.299517543859647,5.772120117408908,4.141158906882591,83.70312837381917,76.57085020242914,6.383873144399461,27.295715249662624,7.492282038375204,1.6855237516869097,1027,42,186,14,24,329,147,247,0.08800000000000001,0.858,0.054000000000000006,-0.8206,3,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,2,1,2,0,5,4,1,1,12,0,22,0,0,1,3,38,35,17,0,4,13,7,0,0,2,2,0,2,2,3,4,15,0,1,0,0,4,3,9,2,0,2,5,3,20,2,31,25,4,30,0,0,1,0,41,12,0,2,13,123,24,1,0.09436134175937487,0.11180275990406792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18441762214026408,0.08364563603211755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641689481846608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0659796441686322,0.0,0.1553026883211656,0.0,0.08821511670020309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17256539431861692,0.0,0.08029455179600878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440902987534373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10614380878991922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09016630581754603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04929990644851754,0.0,0.05362772507982694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3266409575821804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19983007244202666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4166139677672493,0.0,0.07923976156667174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08928698313451447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4420594520545301,0.0,0.2005823458203426,0.06936644354827834,0.06996773926635652,0.0,0.0,0.10035435746717747,0.0,0.0,0.09054225235758084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09858751835073044,0.1035804170726812,0.0,0.0,0.0903720815214267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15007985270797775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10606610172277416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06678944337244619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09864696245072636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893444788760155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16495194368437874,0.0868752456459431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17888703721159535,0.0,0.0,0.06406515701346582,0.0,0.09217731965968808,0.0,0.11350507573095908,0.0,0.0,0.0778579892706417,0.0556567641877423,0.0,0.07569097657097784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08514643397001234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09582852296517473,0.0,0.06703158982670272,0.0,0.0,0.12153122066984567
divorce,Ohmythrowitaway,2018/03/03,"""Divorce"" a word to celebrate I know alot of you are hurting on here but I like to think some are not. I used to think before going through a divorce that it was such a dirty word but now it means a fresh start and freedom. What does it mean to you? (My STBXH left me). ",0.2594736842105263,2.2315780175438604,1.5711403508771935,100.71881578947368,84.6140350877193,4.5017543859649125,20.026315789473685,5.46131890053228,-0.45028421052631584,205,6,50,1,6,65,41,57,0.08900000000000001,0.687,0.224,0.8641,0,0,0,0,2,0,8.0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,0,3,0,0,1,0,14,11,3,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,7,1,7,10,2,5,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,35,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24247390749323405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493641797765463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194528469520522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050479445110381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15660264705962873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3096021307107976,0.0,0.0,0.13921358041801896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6207944318615602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169111043745935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3651725907649643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2461077919500947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TryingNotToFadeAway,2018/03/03,"I don't know what to say.... Sorry for the long post.......

I am destroyed...... When my wife and I first got together, over a decade ago, there was a man from her past that she secretly compared me to.  As time passed and we went from dating to marriage to adulthood then to having children, I always had this feeling that anytime we fought, she secretly  thought of him.

Last night, that paranoia turned to a truth... 

Over the past week she has acted weird towards me; slightly indifferent, borderline hostile.  She suggested a trial separation.  She went out on her own a couple of nights.

Then, she called me at work and with a shaky voice asked me to come home early.   She wasn't the most forthcoming, but with help she confessed to speaking with this guy, this person that nearly destroyed our relationship the last time she spoke with him, for the past few months and saw him earlier in the week when I was at work and again the nights she went out on her own.

From what I have been able to understand, through half truths and broken lines of thought, is that she is not happy in our relationship and only feels happy when speaking/being with this guy.  

I'm not hurt, atleast I don't think so (must be shock).  I told her that she has to choose between one of us.  And with so much mirth, she spat that she had to choose me, she will never have friends, she will never be happy.  No matter what she her choice, someone gets hurt.....

I realized, after letting all this information soak, that what she meant by that, not matter what her choice, that I would be the one hurt if she left, but she would be the one hurt if she stayed....

I realized that, she doesn't view me as a source of happiness, no matter how supportive I have been, no matter how hard I have tried and sacrifices made.

She is distraught, and can't be left alone at the moment do to a self-destructive tendency.

And here I am . .  .

",6.600576923076923,6.205999332417588,6.160747252747253,83.30925274725278,65.29120879120879,9.477802197802195,30.28791208791209,8.841846274778883,2.094990549450549,1463,44,301,20,20,452,175,364,0.118,0.775,0.107,-0.5073,1,1,0,0,0,0,76.0,5,0,0,3,10,20,4,2,18,0,35,1,1,3,6,62,58,26,0,5,7,1,3,0,1,5,0,4,1,5,21,22,0,0,16,0,0,6,13,12,0,5,19,9,58,8,47,28,6,51,2,4,2,0,60,15,0,4,28,225,79,2,0.08966917185182742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948631051840868,0.0,0.0,0.09287021923119616,0.0,0.0,0.07461193422830911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08382857123302444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09156225007515313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724205169925842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921723311914042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09067885509087574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07627255176964673,0.0,0.0,0.06927817973872374,0.0,0.046848441333995065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0717166281646468,0.0,0.0,0.17757315580085006,0.0,0.3818180033109825,0.08032596515893535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0601033557472592,0.0,0.08994549054476526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38397081219722173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04927983179832958,0.14618468608835974,0.0,0.0,0.19485163517093268,0.09169280349075884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07935439536458666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.084847138516071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07157307747832814,0.0,0.06591715877824182,0.0,0.13831678652245444,0.0,0.0,0.25244533027995386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18228645450961764,0.06819744584095061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25679811243256057,0.0,0.07829566215982313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08587827978555708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19254226563618396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130852451359714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354450236117852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07597639832259223,0.0,0.0,0.10037729656489346,0.0,0.09557540633109557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017555135896919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05745638464018293,0.0,0.1423746126133184,0.1045736304143578,0.0,0.0,0.08568273639236054,0.0,0.060879481648362994,0.0975343098238967,0.0,0.09334877025094504,0.10786097306382217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438544017969381,0.0,0.0,0.24937266199090374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056045012562553,0.0,0.0,0.12739681389862492,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,IndigoMammoth,2018/03/03,"Reflecting now that I've had some time alone and the process has moved along. I wrote to this sub some time ago and I figured I'd write a follow up just to kind of share my feelings and give some insight.

Breakdown:
My wife said that our marriage had been going downhill for a year. She met someone else that began as friends, but turned into an emotional affair. Her problem was she said I didn't love her the way she needed to be loved and I wasn't there for her. She said that she fell out of love with me and in love with this other person. I understand that I had some flaws, but as soon as  I realized that it was such an issue I began changing and attending counseling to better things. It was too far gone at this point and she had checked out. I tried a lot of things. I tried to be the person she wanted me to be, we tried couples counseling, and the last real effort was she wanted to separate and have her own stuff, her own life. I agreed to it even though I didn't like it. We went on dates once a week in attempt to rekindle things. All along I think she was still talking to this guy and was just afraid to let me go after 10 years. 

Now that we have been living apart for 4 months or so and the divorce is almost finished there are a lot of things I've learned.

* Things do get better.

* You will meet people that care and it may surprise you who they are.

* My wife used a lot of our issues as a way of escaping our marriage, instead of spending the time to fix it.

* I miss my wife a lot sometimes. She is still dating the person she was having the emotional affair with and it definitely breaks my heart because I tried so hard to make things right, but you just can't will someone to be happy.

* Therapy helps tremendously.

* I should have listened better before the problems became what they turned into.

We are still amicable and get along fine for our daughter and the love and missing her feelings are going away, but there are a lot of nights where I find myself crying because of the lost ideals of marriage. I don't think I would take my wife back because she was so hurtful in the end.

I read something great in a thread that describes perfectly what it feels like when divorce first comes about
> All your dreams die. Think about how that feels.

> You stand in an empty home that was supposed to be filled with laughter, good times, children, a future... and now > its just an empty home.

> You planned pretty well everything. The trips you would take, the places in life you would go. Deep down you felt > like a real true winner, found the perfect one, got married and hey... love is forever.

> Now all you have is a bunch of legal documents, a few things you salvaged from the wreck of it all. Maybe a bunch of photos that you really dont want to look at.

>You have this chasm of a future staring at you like looking into a very deep and pitch black tunnel... you have no idea what is out there now.

>But you have to walk into that tunnel. Fear, loathing, the death of what should have been, the death of what was. The uncertainty, the chaos... its overwhelming.

>Everyone puts on the brave face. But you know deep down that you are broken on a very fundamental level.

>Its pretty scary. Its very lonely, it changes you when all your dreams die and you still have to go on...

The hardest part is being the last one to have full love and not let go. It is hard for me still to think about it. This was a lot of the feelings I felt right away, but these subside and you start to get the meaning back. Everyone keep their heads up. There is light at the end of the tunnel.",3.060912476722536,4.845039039106148,3.369027932960893,92.16289013035386,74.81005586592178,6.114115456238363,22.547858472998136,6.742157984588678,0.4418734450651769,2816,76,592,24,60,868,298,716,0.153,0.716,0.131,-0.9641,0,4,1,0,2,0,106.0,8,21,3,11,38,39,0,3,50,0,67,12,3,3,8,115,130,40,4,12,12,5,9,4,1,8,2,4,2,5,51,41,0,1,22,3,2,17,8,10,1,3,35,18,82,29,87,79,22,99,0,6,4,7,89,39,0,13,43,428,133,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049064062174134386,0.0,0.05542460813061826,0.05732547127633523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1040055029198864,0.0851208194388507,0.0,0.10122176885237197,0.0,0.04709841503328329,0.0,0.0,0.14685661404845507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056432584638666274,0.0,0.11710503096306855,0.04767876131516275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061243256389107215,0.06079891350698511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11488824884481595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486929435676307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04623747094517496,0.12452165303324045,0.09804659672341262,0.0,0.0,0.03655787491006942,0.0,0.0,0.10577778936238663,0.04974463263677847,0.0,0.0,0.06228366446521931,0.13993205103624934,0.03954175029143247,0.10628855161127823,0.0,0.050588512456747003,0.04708032361546262,0.0,0.06068795648025198,0.042762947428845496,0.0,0.08675361166147277,0.05309635967765231,0.18873864763706585,0.04642460081571111,0.044268114600369966,0.06102310624013513,0.0,0.05480478525074072,0.0,0.05892065605848976,0.09916470202356698,0.0,0.056804636399974726,0.0,0.0,0.06558951760364909,0.03709965607945392,0.0,0.11104028131609724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059252869078425474,0.062482937508340476,0.0,0.11554116039165828,0.0,0.04919724896784743,0.0,0.05763806909773495,0.03041868109759805,0.09023458857716768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319738913657015,0.07819008904748906,0.10816403392154972,0.0,0.04887469230145243,0.0,0.0929594124116159,0.0,0.060420603832706934,0.2823373964372143,0.3496860922264421,0.0,0.036946273773851734,0.0,0.0556060915867767,0.060291917807657185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044179505885828516,0.05882784298863005,0.0,0.0410410114907848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051941830400917516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05894549521190547,0.07501261436702425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05993820027150953,0.0,0.038372428911293284,0.1449873523297414,0.057828529489530614,0.0,0.05232324271265675,0.0,0.0,0.11262084073591022,0.0,0.10592414394332432,0.0,0.05564161454351022,0.0,0.0,0.055364557374396134,0.12599987691628425,0.03545835760940657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09453647606884044,0.15795037364304898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379503732792188,0.04261081004400191,0.05474214890840577,0.0,0.03917671689343444,0.0,0.2210112264058852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336202567537354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08323199012415082,0.04448789498918213,0.0,0.0,0.06329706734127885,0.0,0.2574026059520183,0.14186310120075518,0.05438068033472383,0.0,0.1290991384796186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1503149235758065,0.12040889582370715,0.0,0.0576208637386765,0.0,0.047804264995044636,0.0,0.13700759803635432,0.09793984724331567,0.0878678389864223,0.04439809363244543,0.0,0.04976591873124457,0.051309614249519006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11795625857727693,0.0,0.0,0.07128662832755797
divorce,SoNotSunny,2018/03/03,"My husband left me... He left me a month ago. For legal reasons, I can't really talk about it in real life. Only a handful of people now. But I am really hurting. We have 3 kids. He hasn't seen them or talked to them since he left. I'm trying so hard to keep it together so the kids have some normalcy, but I'm struggling. Today was a bad day, emotionally. I can't even pinpoint why it was so bad. I just know I'm angry and hurt and I can't talk about it, so I figured maybe it would help me to complain to strangers on the internet. Sorry.",-0.7535057471264359,1.3582400862069015,2.1759999999999984,93.23566666666667,92.10344827586206,5.162298850574714,18.94022988505748,6.742157984588678,0.222582298850575,414,13,94,6,15,145,72,116,0.247,0.7140000000000001,0.039,-0.979,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,1,0,2,0,9,6,0,1,5,0,10,2,1,1,0,14,16,9,0,1,4,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,5,3,0,1,3,0,0,0,4,6,0,0,3,3,13,0,10,12,1,10,0,2,1,0,14,5,0,2,5,56,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368365817165412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25777914679600183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09955361728229303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17364152697230684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10195761247326968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1382820566679228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034686060594479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305050459463929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372080313025293,0.0,0.0,0.08483578728047536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5031589375222166,0.0,0.1090336188572948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15508189004706446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12321386162211387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740267361526865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701828938963076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757028636636061,0.19778225583252995,0.1587144640585313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127693557828025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17280065025419064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16137737458645587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3722218182717068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632138535018993,0.0,0.0,0.10480471556806724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13929174936676866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10965752732622353,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,indigomuse,2018/03/03,"So freaking lonely I’m scared to even start dating. I tried for a bit, but guilt eats away at me whenever I make plans with a man. I hope this feeling passes one day and I find a friend who actually likes me for me and not what I can do for them.

Sorry to rant, but I need to. ☮️💟",-1.1095089285714297,0.6238390312500037,1.803839285714286,98.414375,88.375,4.9071428571428575,15.392857142857142,6.18269132825596,-0.7922517857142859,214,4,56,2,7,75,48,64,0.19,0.61,0.2,0.5721,0,2,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,1,1,2,7,0,2,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,11,8,5,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,0,1,10,3,9,8,1,6,0,1,0,0,4,2,0,1,4,35,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.2758905089453855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2656214459719421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30865318085002563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232874554833445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28928954642516197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867315732851922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14294995049521075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583977472553799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2184260565293652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808012626953217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812099497528976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18871545038621806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20963069280536986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19157600833537147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28304852375325285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164779608303286,0.20010818461563826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19194593665934506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,burnburn457,2018/03/04,"How long did it take you to get your life back together? My separation happened in October 2016, after almost three years of trying to have a baby. The infertility was a struggle, and just before we were going to start treatment, my husband left. I went through a really dark time for the first few months, then came out of it, and had been doing really well for about a year. The divorce was settled amicably and finalized just last month. 

That's when I started to to feel really overwhelmed with life. I've dated, but haven't felt a connection with anyone. I've always wanted to be a mom, and I'm worrying again that I won't have a chance to have a family (I'm 33). I kept the house, and it's too much to deal with on my own. 

I thought I was over it, and that I was moving on with my life, but I'm worried that this regression is going to last a long time, and keep me from living my best life. I thought I had been doing everything right - therapy, yoga, eating well and working out a lot, connecting with friends, etc. but I'm finding myself really withdrawing again. 

I'm in a position to sell my house and take a year off of work to try something new, which I hope will be a bit of a re-boot. Any advice as to how to start feeling like I've got a bright future ahead of me?",5.814356597600874,4.948164797709925,6.886434023991277,79.02244274809162,67.05343511450381,10.386477644492912,30.546346782988003,9.784248007369934,2.570898800436205,995,31,210,19,14,337,145,262,0.039,0.845,0.116,0.9656,0,0,1,0,1,0,34.0,1,2,0,5,12,9,0,2,19,0,21,5,0,2,0,37,47,17,0,2,5,2,3,1,1,2,4,0,0,0,10,18,1,2,6,1,1,5,2,2,2,2,17,4,22,7,39,26,7,41,0,1,1,0,8,10,0,3,27,143,32,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10306899881848228,0.0,0.0,0.1056180274332688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776369160982317,0.0,0.0,0.0717266513673809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07375060786423493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110380339945372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08975149953835689,0.0,0.1106895584127138,0.0,0.11515143756220365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063535912294195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10874014587439476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10792730873802847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763256259734338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479417449569147,0.0,0.09943249075775587,0.0,0.10666270960588416,0.07535139729265583,0.10127258936559633,0.11554276245852048,0.09640228549515524,0.08971702424068426,0.0,0.0,0.08148976252611807,0.0,0.05510636066686533,0.0,0.11988780396889807,0.0,0.08435803337142705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327123899441447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476052435163362,0.0,0.2434080943052873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09375107134509393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17195248777064664,0.0,0.0,0.11459895119783076,0.0,0.2980005902997193,0.05152978201982202,0.0,0.09313640215772134,0.18668420152064985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0896711162788536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12353110460033295,0.16837835835089907,0.11210328668396574,0.07753629837697439,0.0,0.0,0.10186846121954424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702800732774208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09007511698912186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0811998470710883,0.0,0.0,0.2239673512807572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102654240769642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15860822318384266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206199127135277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747081715142514,0.12300670053830495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432212717178316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221191766526421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18966947524144026,0.09777642870518363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15357418621802127,0.21423006772665787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376742353995786
divorce,holdinghope2018,2018/03/04,"Trying to find the light... ...in this dark place. Almost 50 and facing the loss of a 16 year marriage with two teenagers. So scared for our kids and the new story that is being written for them. So scared of having to start over in my own life. Scared to lose the life that feels familiar and even safe despite the major dysfunction in this relationship. Lots to be grateful for, for sure, but it is devastating. I know there’s reason for hope. Reaching out to hear how others have made it through...
Thanks!",2.3623863636363645,5.063372208333334,2.5636363636363626,92.2268181818182,82.125,5.157575757575758,20.185606060606066,6.574015621080383,0.2197208333333336,396,11,78,4,11,120,71,96,0.138,0.708,0.154,0.218,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,1,2,5,9,0,3,6,0,6,3,1,3,1,17,14,7,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,7,5,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,2,3,4,4,19,10,3,9,0,2,0,0,6,6,0,3,3,54,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19173270629727887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264662129223576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09681458019398267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17500299466307673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21580416131022992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19017604603296887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522863842522034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2704863035453467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21420948329057468,0.0,0.16278362907038124,0.0,0.18117652870367268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18492596605539666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20004869378759865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19686629294841895,0.0,0.2055705114327268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5750940921651275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13552568447788355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18046118241198364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1762827557147747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1299977034846044,0.0,0.1870414501069132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330243400043404
divorce,maybejust2,2018/03/04,"Spousal Support as Proof of Income? Can anyone here comment on how one proves income when they need to move out of their home, prior to the divorce decree, when only relying on spousal support?

",8.178571428571429,8.547834428571429,7.080714285714286,75.46678571428573,61.85714285714286,8.142857142857144,37.5,7.1686216300943375,2.9555714285714285,155,7,24,1,2,47,28,35,0.0,0.851,0.149,0.6966,2,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,2,5,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,2,8,4,0,7,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,3,17,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2285103833439142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278131064894014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3473431034144531,0.0,0.24232253936682024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145223201970526,0.24855072155772265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7417112477842333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tworoadsdiverged1,2018/03/04,"Letting Go Not sure if this will be useful, but many of you on this sub have been very helpful to me, so here goes:

I’ve pretty much not left the house unless absolutely necessary for the past month, due to depression, and I just wasn’t sure I could hold it all together in public without crying. I used to take the train to work. This week, I finally mustered the energy to take the train again.

As I was exiting, a stranger stopped me to tell me I have good energy. That’s all he basically said, and walked away.  He was holding a book. It was called “Letting Go. “

A few minutes later I saw him again, making his way toward a different exit. He had been going the wrong way when he saw me.

I sort of took that as a sign from the universe.  

Hang in there everyone- I hope things get better for us all.",2.8266951566951555,4.328041555555558,4.202098765432098,87.13098290598292,74.80246913580247,7.7006647673314355,24.18993352326686,8.384062270229773,1.379186514719848,620,19,132,11,13,205,106,162,0.087,0.74,0.173,0.9441,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,0,2,7,7,0,0,12,0,14,0,0,3,5,24,28,9,0,3,7,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,3,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,0,11,3,17,5,20,12,5,26,0,1,2,0,13,8,0,3,10,89,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868240363995354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1305471194945817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150724085370064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785283144080393,0.0,0.16214025656586945,0.0,0.0,0.12713439705517887,0.0,0.0,0.15421875272791188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14104559536427755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16169714922891973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771189924372083,0.0,0.2516667731920344,0.1238064342443006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09893840873549624,0.0,0.0,0.1466078686275759,0.0,0.17031960336995816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037632577778868,0.30187798857756554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985293644788066,0.14965115914000238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781915179222067,0.0,0.10850872995026896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14090836412527158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15017021652439966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404088364408935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234067450008902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27823724254784976,0.0,0.22196541771535566,0.0,0.1290157387091851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09806407516755736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16399771661167836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17755403016883015,0.25497152314568405,0.0,0.12179190830735165,0.0,0.2343284301537758,0.1184020877572614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422886688230379,0.0,0.10746024925412397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16138597674331875,0.0,0.0
divorce,tallShipwindymate,2018/03/04,"a few questions about my situation A bit of background, 27, divorced 2 years ago with a 7 y/o daughter. 

during the creation of the separation agreement, one line came up that said i was able to claim my daughter for the tax credit every odd year, and if i do my ex gets half of my tax return. when i asked to clarify that it meant ""Tax credit"" her and her lawyer agreed that is what was meant by it, and thats the way it would be interpreted by a judge. Fast forward 2 years and it's my turn to claim my daughter, i text my ex to let her know and confirm that i am going to give her half of the child tax credit and she said that was her understanding of the agreement too. then 2 days later after i file my taxes she says she wants half of my overall return not just the tax credit. then proceeds to make up some B.S. about me not paying her enough child support during the year(of which i am fully up to date and never missed a payment ever, even since before we got divorced)  and that is why she is entitled to half of my return. is there any way to fight this for this year? 

What is the best way to amend the document? Assuming my ex doesn't want to change this part of the agreement, is there any way to change it against her wishes in court?

Also I'm trying to screenshot conversations we have, but when i use my phones ""scroll capture"" mode to grab the whole conversation if it goes more than 2 screens down, the whole conversation turns blurry because it has a file size limit.(i assume)
do any of you have any options for an android screen capture app that can capture multiple screens and not lose image quality?

side note, i am finding it harder and harder to not get petty when i text her, she keeps being demeaning, rude, and arrogant most of the time now. got any tips for resisting the urge to be petty or rude back to her?",7.261053743961352,5.808038263586964,7.2295289855072475,79.64421497584544,64.46195652173913,9.916908212560386,32.94444444444444,8.515128840125781,2.375648067632849,1443,46,296,16,18,463,188,368,0.05,0.861,0.08900000000000001,0.7584,0,0,0,0,3,0,38.0,2,1,0,2,14,14,3,0,22,0,24,0,0,2,2,45,49,21,0,6,9,6,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,2,22,15,0,1,9,0,11,3,6,5,0,5,10,7,40,9,44,34,10,37,0,2,3,0,38,7,0,9,25,200,62,12,0.10818824243149028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09590234921050028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08651809838512738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36785857393163307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10114140233424128,0.0,0.0,0.08319008036815309,0.0,0.06595054841927504,0.0,0.09206022586862377,0.0,0.11353688574771648,0.0,0.11811354022606305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373852766498185,0.0,0.0,0.2288976304870089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697724661783249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1117873749718818,0.0,0.07145731377838402,0.09786245917305424,0.0911532603691652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09888209358711313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130477827308364,0.10378402035975272,0.06148587137284114,0.0,0.17305604131299288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0961626808225784,0.0,0.0,0.05945742867337622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062980786388348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210349698001754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07221649191849021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344144215675069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07331115300529911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11715732368604315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12119559156570912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20582358682115412,0.08603563273961129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08949443212577794,0.12160811740266016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12277073542257808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06308543418860091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345271494823481,0.23535548145916715,0.0,0.11262777583447607,0.0,0.09343990513942696,0.0,0.0,0.12762445689359894,0.3434991643757654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0976230611897734,0.2415766180997644,0.12441113954363985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07685382335101268,0.0,0.0,0.3483484051750969
divorce,oneDARtech,2018/03/04,"Divorce, need advice asap Long story obviously. My wife has retained an attorney and I can't afford one. What can I do, any advice appreciated.",3.5548717948717896,6.5661642307692345,6.8515384615384605,61.376794871794914,79.76923076923076,8.082051282051282,27.89743589743589,8.841846274778883,3.288682051282052,114,5,16,3,3,42,24,26,0.0,0.8270000000000001,0.173,0.5267,1,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,11,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7929837699938871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27592229992702505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35907388161608256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3008567240889014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27494509277475193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,melredditme,2018/03/04,"The actual process of divorce. Hi all, I've lurked the sub for some time now and finally need to get up and post. I am 27f, my stbx 29m. We were married for 6 years, and separated one year ago due to his infidelity. We had no children and only rented an apartment together. No shared pets. We have been no contact for a few months now. Married and residing in CA. The purpose of my post is this: Tuesday I will be obtaining the necessary paper work to file for divorce. I am truly sheltered on the matter and genuinely just feel like I don't know what I should even expect. So I guess my questions are generalized. Is the paperwork process lengthy? An attorney who does this for a living likely thinks the paperwork is a breeze as they've got each form memorized. Obviously I will not seek legal advice here, just been trying to understand the process better. I have a wonderful support system of friends, some who have offered to pay filing fees and walk me through the forms. Doesn't make the heart break any less. But I know it needs to be done. legally I need to separate myself from someone who could possibly have a negative effect on my future due to a legal tie we currently share. I'm sure come Tuesday I'll return with additional questions. Just wanted a sort of introduction to get the ball rolling here. Thanks for reading and any response. ",3.5700000000000003,5.9462700503875965,4.564515503875967,81.4842151162791,75.24031007751938,7.865891472868217,29.3546511627907,8.72156446121922,2.576237209302326,1075,48,196,23,24,349,163,258,0.056,0.828,0.116,0.9399,2,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,4,0,0,4,9,9,0,0,20,0,23,1,1,2,3,48,42,11,0,7,5,0,1,2,1,3,0,0,2,1,7,16,0,0,10,2,3,2,7,0,0,1,6,1,21,9,27,30,8,26,0,0,0,0,19,5,0,7,17,130,28,7,0.0,0.0,0.14297318520521535,0.0,0.0,0.14316843664789553,0.12987278335070285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19926442790700968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12957669609065736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12620588602584962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11697677116240265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821239007376384,0.14993118394250474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09676885193701973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408014804624533,0.10466718289000704,0.0,0.16049517174701822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319370555077625,0.0,0.15309145517023207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1171778895198941,0.0,0.1613979143155843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17361573486482548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16103675908372414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431553312277219,0.0,0.12937152048419398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977969453979858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11694334187184607,0.0,0.0,0.32590720117624083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927935623922107,0.1114278930674714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16516865785695792,0.28063326005143124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282507453894622,0.0,0.14655022121228106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413793337195478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16625846243187947,0.13808448152018252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13488725164313906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938780595780824,0.0,0.0,0.08543149353909818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994710621118816,0.0,0.0,0.15252267385146506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641573213192319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588844670975604,0.1066614423461548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1886960114254003
divorce,cryptotoadie,2018/03/04,"To All You People Starting Divorce - The Other Side Is AWESOME!!! Only regret is I didn't divorce her earlier. Stayed in it too long for the kid. Takes awhile to get over the depression but it does go away and the people I am meeting are 10x better than my ex.

Hang tough, people. Divorce is amazing after the initial shock, IMHO!!!

",1.7213095238095235,4.428139920634919,3.027281746031747,87.38473214285717,86.30158730158729,4.419841269841268,23.74801587301588,5.985473137389443,0.7790015873015874,257,10,45,2,8,83,50,63,0.124,0.7020000000000001,0.174,0.774,0,0,0,0,3,0,13.0,0,1,0,1,1,6,0,0,5,0,6,0,0,0,1,4,10,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,4,0,0,1,0,5,2,8,9,1,10,0,2,0,0,8,4,0,0,3,31,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2751674585486883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590257894969667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522544173853283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562985209849338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530160755640998,0.0,0.16644867352263146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591868120197196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227460557691006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6091318312259346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20729975470916345,0.312167772946083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22020695587668745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,not_my_wig,2018/03/04,I feel so lonely now I feel so lonely and I’m the one who left for a legitimate reason and now that I moved all my things. A profound loneliness hit me. Is this normal?,-0.6908333333333303,1.485976027777781,2.2957777777777792,91.42700000000002,94.27777777777777,5.102222222222223,15.533333333333335,6.742157984588678,-0.14949333333333348,131,3,29,2,5,46,27,36,0.237,0.763,0.0,-0.8119,0,4,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,7,5,4,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,2,5,0,1,4,1,4,0,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,22,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4044903283354864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43458644139259495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4251222888095745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39190178963390404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2710411659616925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4112526817414496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657332199677253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,soon2bsingleandfree,2018/03/05,"I'm so tired of this. And a question about my house. Last night was another knock down drag out fight. Just like every weekend. I don't remember the last time I looked forward to a weekend. This coming weekend would be the first time i'm excited and that's because she is going out of town for the weekend to her cousin's baby shower. My wife and I have been married for about 15 months - though the actual big wedding was only 6 months ago. Together a total of about 4 years and she pressured me into marriage when she moved with me for a new job. We got into it about nothing last night, per usual, and things escalated quickly as she once again started telling me all the ways that i've wronged her. She's a serial victim. I've known it for years now and I should have ended things a long long time ago. I should have seen it in the way she works a job for 8 or 10 months, decides she is being mistreated and quits, only to have the same experience at the next job. I should have seen it in the fact that she has no long-term friends that she interacts with regularly. I should have seen it in the fact that she is incapable of having an actual career because she's too busy being a victim at every job she has before she moves on. I should have seen it in the way that she takes no responsibility... for anything... She is the messiest goddamn person i've ever met (one of our biggest issues) and claims that she physically can't pick up after herself because of adhd (which is treated with meds). She is constantly ""sick."" In fact, 90% of the conversations we have are about in what particular way she is not feeling good today or her bitching about work. 
 I should have seen it in the way that she expects me to do everything for her and gets upset and pissy with me over things like ""You saw I was taking the trash out (a single kitchen bag), why didn't you offer to help me!? Because you don't give a shit about me!"" - Which by the way was the first bag of trash i've seen her take out in more than a year. She acts like she's incapable of doing anything herself. She acts like I mistreat her while i'm the main breadwinner, do 100 percent of the cooking and the dishes every single night, take care of the animals, take care of the maintenance on her car, do all the house and yard work etc. I've reached the end of my rope here. Oh and to top it off, We've had sex 3 times since we got back from our honeymoon and two of those were on my birthday.  
  
Now to the part that's keeping me from pulling the trigger on the divorce. I want her to move out and move on with her life. She has told me in the past that she thinks she is entitled to the house. (we've threatened divorce mid fight many times). So here's the situation: 
  
State: Missouri  

Me:
-$100k+ per year salary
-I own the house, (well, the mortgage) bought before we were married or even engaged, her name is not on the deed or anything. She did quit her job (she was planning to quit already before I got the job offer, shocker!) but on paper it looks like she quit to move with me for my new job. In her mind, that entitles her to a huge divorce settlement.  
-Bachelors degree     
-160k mortgage
-20k in student loans  
-10k credit card debt (incurred during the marriage mostly) 
-20k in joint credit debt for the wedding  
-25k vehicle loan (bought before we were married)
  
Her:  
-$28k per year salary   
-Masters degree
-$160k in student loans  
-15k in credit card debt  
-20k in joint credit debt for the wedding  
-65K mortgage for a house she owns in another city (4 hrs away) and rents out
No car payment or cell phone payment because her parents pay for them.  
  
So I know you can't really get a full picture of the situation on reddit, but i'm wondering if she has any sort of shot at getting my house given the financial/salary differences and the fact that she moved for me? She can't afford the mortgage and utilities on her own. Surely, after a little over a year of marriage, I can't be expected to pay the mortgage for her to live in my house while I live elsewhere? I need to see a lawyer I guess, but I don't have much extra money around because I've been trying to pay down all that wasted fucking wedding debt. I really just want to tell her that I will keep the house and take on the wedding debt, but she has already informed me that she would fight viciously to stay in the house. I'm inclined to let the judge split our debts evenly. Or just sell the house I guess - but I really don't want to. I love my house.  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading my venting session and any insights to the house situation (beyond see a lawyer as I'm already planning to) would be appreciated.
  
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divorce,Darth_Giddianhi,2018/03/05,"Buy or Rent? Maybe this post would be better for r/finance but I think it fits here too. 

My wife and I were recently separated and are on our way to divorce. I’ve started looking for my own place and was curious as to everyone’s recommendations concerning buying or renting. 

I have three kids and will have them on my days off. My wife will have primary custody. We’re selling our house and between that and savings I have plenty for a large down payment. I’ve been looking at three bedroom townhouses so my kids have enough room when they’re over. 

Any thoughts?",2.969499582985822,5.487937926605512,3.7552793994995852,85.78828190158467,77.9908256880734,6.8994161801501255,29.175145954962467,8.00094639256281,2.120790825688074,450,21,86,8,11,143,78,109,0.0,0.948,0.052000000000000005,0.644,2,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,2,0,1,1,4,2,0,0,1,0,13,0,0,0,0,13,18,12,0,1,3,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,4,2,3,6,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,2,12,2,13,10,2,15,0,0,2,0,8,9,0,2,4,59,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17881470094314608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23255749562550745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1695806970107714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2716971608296861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512595494555241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30340845948187445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4416227682765004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26416815105126884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747262984564063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518329688739772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2596309436627616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861170344951679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16848744479783928,0.0,0.20875255929802847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20871710184566933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18679180550244268,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway211281,2018/03/05,"Scared of future after divorce I'm 36m and have been in a relationship for about 5 years now and married a year and half. I am soon to be separated and then divorced but I am having a sinking feeling in that I am scared of the future, of being able to find someone else. Going through the whole motion of dating again, and even where to find someone seems daunting. I know this is fear talking, but I also want to keep it real. It took me a long time to find my SBTXW, so its scary to think about dating and finding the one all over again.",4.405057915057918,4.687359621621622,5.264555984555988,85.56162162162164,69.9009009009009,7.063577863577862,27.56885456885457,6.18269132825596,1.0515395109395111,422,13,88,2,7,138,75,111,0.133,0.838,0.029,-0.9276,0,0,0,0,2,0,9.0,0,0,0,0,10,3,0,3,7,0,9,0,0,0,1,20,18,11,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,8,0,0,3,0,3,0,2,2,1,7,0,18,14,2,21,0,0,0,0,4,4,0,1,14,67,12,0,0.16583735053740772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262006930938047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13853582658996896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10953400598065496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18661312488246828,0.08385234728656576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6062893359770776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09424918803365166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474038569236337,0.0,0.0,0.09113987083396403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14676083662852304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11237568062851327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1887592113280725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17804725158127896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3320642368953137,0.0,0.0,0.1509720955139593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810268978956042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329378055477822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10626187800564547,0.0,0.0,0.09670109272700812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425139839452773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09781516604455716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18515147948179972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.213587633109953
divorce,criv6,2018/03/05,"I (30/m) am not married but have been in a relationship with an amazing girl(22) for the past 2 years. I miss being single and I am not completely satisfied by being in a relationship. Has anybody been through something like this? I (30) used to party, go out and socialize with people a lot 2 years ago. I loved single and every minute of it. I did not want a relationship at all. Literally 2015 was the happiest year of my life. I clearly remember thinking how I didn’t have a day of sadness that year. I was truly enjoying life, I was always meeting new people and making new friends, I was dating different women and connecting with them. I remember never wanting to change that.

At the end of 2015 I met this beautiful girl (22) through friends she was 19 then and she was an international student. She has every trait I find desirable. She is beautiful, smart, cute, loves too cook and take care of the home, very loving and pleasing. We have been together since then and living together for over a year. I have met her parents and she has met mine. I have hosted her family from overseas in my apartment and they have hosted me.

The problem is that no matter how perfect she is, I constantly want what I had back then. while I enjoy being with her and the moments we share. I much enjoy partying with my friends. I miss being able to socialize and do things with other women and not having a care in the world.

While I’m good to her in every way I can - taking care of her and providing for her. I just can’t give up the drinking and partying with buddies and the thoughts of living the single life are daily in my head.

I’m afraid that staying in a relationship just because of being afraid to lose someone amazing is not fair to her or me, and I’m afraid I might hurt her eventually.

Also if we end things, maybe I’ll always regret losing her.

It seems like an easy decision because she truly is an amazing person, I have met few people like her, but I can not, for whatever reason, fully commit.",4.5433626373626375,5.805456600000002,5.696501831501834,79.02980769230773,70.17948717948718,8.545787545787546,29.313186813186807,8.942964678507748,2.431395604395605,1574,60,293,29,28,524,183,390,0.077,0.606,0.318,0.9992,2,0,2,0,0,0,49.0,3,0,2,3,7,34,0,3,22,0,41,9,1,5,5,67,68,30,0,7,12,1,0,3,3,1,3,0,1,4,12,29,2,0,8,2,0,1,10,11,0,0,17,0,55,23,41,45,7,39,0,7,0,3,46,14,0,5,25,220,67,1,0.08535938334405355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566594304402566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06826186802074383,0.1420516898797645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06563609687128907,0.0,0.10406857561876592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2610887406718365,0.0,0.0902989093276879,0.0,0.08949768940601083,0.09224316891843283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05504974065131975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08918238777590122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08361969902053598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512061552711249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21575688596214265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08046922982620047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07801692996084934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1978453434855308,0.0,0.0,0.08188449853490387,0.048511704662186725,0.07159540090047993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760335349368989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08562242127279214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137898531456744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18087557049832612,0.1251068490987278,0.0,0.1507477986983952,0.0,0.0,0.1909906317546747,0.0,0.07256949523867957,0.23112052836251806,0.0,0.05697805120863018,0.0,0.08575497365002167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09055281649654463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06274896833440667,0.0,0.06583441867399824,0.1648812486833434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947814936016093,0.0,0.08148519001744886,0.177532345986234,0.07453252107112716,0.0,0.09369896997003567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08167740182373266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08776366266290743,0.0,0.3665761314162659,0.19339108302299166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770797672219346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061016398172974,0.0,0.0,0.17402628351728694,0.07232472850574778,0.06571382358040816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909817452174162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1283592663367974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11341796278054544,0.054694846186034166,0.0,0.06776581563953461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07372310061769508,0.0,0.07043043081664993,0.15104152764505666,0.0677543053462587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2748432212812794
divorce,Forevergone123,2018/03/05,"When did you know? I'm a stay at home mom. Unfortunately I relocated for him, and I have no career options here unless I try to be a single mom at minimum wage. Things between us have become progressively worse. I truly believe he is staying because he feels he's supposed to. My heart is literally broken. I feel he hates me. Our anniversary is this month. 7 years down the drain. I've been with him since I was 18, I'm now in my thirties. I have tried to make it work, I don't know how to get through to him. Who will want a mother of two kids with no career? I feel like my entire life is over.",0.7858523076923056,2.8540481760000027,3.075199999999999,90.1409846153846,83.24,5.766153846153848,20.815384615384616,7.010146845296331,0.41965230769230777,462,14,103,6,13,158,88,125,0.134,0.81,0.055,-0.8611,1,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,2,1,0,2,4,2,1,0,4,0,13,2,1,2,0,13,24,4,0,1,1,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,4,3,0,0,5,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,3,3,19,1,17,19,1,11,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,1,5,66,23,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112659817248983,0.20133278479569414,0.0,0.20538636509436312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2765246188628309,0.1302330589208029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524269188752477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17998060958706558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2160228985238889,0.0,0.0,0.182858818750306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20037139774942864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12876180744268684,0.08906113727260223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168470575610014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42700823613087896,0.1455077772409004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507980151171852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3886088295796568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12111006901475588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2475354802764703,0.0,0.1780777426937601,0.0,0.219280922303636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10752353148023393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271443371359534,0.0,0.18577628225354625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739333234902068
divorce,5lxbc,2018/03/05,"""learn to love yourself"" I recently passed the anniversary of a turning point in what would become my divorce.  So I'm spending too much time brooding over posts in this forum and others (though I appreciate all your perspectives).

So here's a specific question - so often, the advice given by people here is to ""learn to love yourself.""  Many times, this advice comes packaged with something like ""I hated hearing this myself, but..."" or ""It's hard, but..."" and I actually want to know what this means for people who think they've done it.

My issue:  I have a bundle of issues throughout life with the theme ""I'm not enough.""  Marriage was the biggest one.  I could (and have) made a list of positive qualities that I have - enough that I can even say I'm a catch (at least on paper.)  But the more I talk this stuff up, the more I crash down when I think ""but it wasn't enough here, and here, and here... and I couldn't even keep my wife...""

So is learning to love oneself shutting off thoughts like that?  I feel I could learn a bunch of things I'm not familiar with like, say, accounting, or programming, or quantum physics.  But this seems on another level.

And things have gotten better, but not enough.  I mean, I sleep more or less normally now.  But I still like everything I used to like a lot less.  Friendships are different.  I can hang out by myself and do fun things, but it's harder alone.",2.907067669172932,5.158887631578949,3.4648631578947366,89.1722421052632,76.81954887218045,6.511639097744363,23.797894736842107,7.554174236665415,1.0832937142857144,1074,35,213,15,25,336,144,266,0.031,0.804,0.16399999999999998,0.9873,1,1,1,0,1,0,62.0,0,1,0,1,17,11,1,0,13,0,17,5,1,2,1,53,42,26,0,6,15,1,2,5,0,1,1,3,0,0,21,13,0,1,13,0,2,4,5,1,0,1,7,5,26,10,26,31,14,25,0,0,0,3,13,14,0,8,11,158,47,6,0.0,0.0,0.10242403277388032,0.0,0.0,0.20512781646938305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10870500959816293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005779191259643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11591805177374853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928269713518035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09041216916314944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16760111521784266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109658947641345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10740864782379916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4337993836211116,0.0,0.13864776178920205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432963476517256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053070004004539435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0940219037477048,0.10362446256110433,0.0,0.0,0.11829548485344772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2190981193824568,0.0,0.09329164335123033,0.0,0.0,0.05768226491742583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07413505891138909,0.256386299227686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923168214259873,0.2841865367210307,0.09931395751102028,0.0,0.10641110976661383,0.0,0.2286604316737165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077156331028294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283672111936036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07112237181133174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455295581609609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09921939540398272,0.0,0.10052091300788958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757717034688585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363352987011376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16693389777371312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09554997531694824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050339687679962,0.0,0.0,0.08080192646808441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08381972952979938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12015199275027845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08436140068503023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20918863161736248,0.13450591363929484,0.10312086837009772,0.08332506243005973,0.12240390506248505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1141643486289456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065015898551654,0.0,0.0,0.061907047586263725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455927202642734,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,CJMomma,2018/03/05,"Nervous about Exs next relationship Been divorced for almost two years. My ex has dated several women in this time, which is fine, I encourage him to. We have a verbal agreement that before we introduce a new person to our child that we can meet the gf/bf first just so we know who will be around our child.  I haven't had anyone that I wanted my child to know so I haven't had to deal with this but I'm worried that he will not keep this agreement. He's stubborn and spiteful and if anything catches him in a bad mood he doesn't care if his actions are fair or not. I worry about my child having another mother figure in their life and who he would pick to be that person.  I get extreme anxiety thinking about who is around my child and if he's getting enough attention, if he is being treated nicely, if he feels comfortable. 

Who else has this? Advice on how to handle the fears and anxiety?",5.309547993905536,5.604752296089387,5.8524530218385005,82.08689690198071,67.9385474860335,8.520264093448452,29.121889283900448,8.296473431620573,1.945967597765364,707,23,139,9,11,229,107,179,0.142,0.736,0.123,-0.5849,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,6,0,1,1,9,14,2,2,5,0,21,1,0,2,0,35,31,15,0,7,10,3,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,8,14,12,0,2,6,0,0,2,5,5,0,2,3,1,20,8,17,22,1,14,0,0,0,0,37,6,0,7,6,98,34,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401385754061432,0.0,0.0,0.1680701307254236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759976127536211,0.2567982769723389,0.0,0.0,0.11735945658190745,0.0,0.1381201682483943,0.2988310180891431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014156991463916,0.0,0.0,0.1428217002987023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17112672867333398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17303836263897482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14021096491750412,0.0,0.0,0.17342628496476697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18886960109953346,0.0848662675427985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276683970409124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17538167424939102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491862251126951,0.0,0.0,0.18448381976900224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185522002850596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210344019901246,0.1785025215939807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29310738895576155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802001515392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18961437663400565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075467683404032,0.0,0.0,0.09787037659190312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16395784307034442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09899792098736644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3409046387548254,0.0,0.11923057565719865,0.0,0.0,0.10808513894903476
divorce,vclinda,2018/03/05,"Am I being unreasonable that I don’t want my ex to call to”talk to our son” on a daily basis? Long story short, we were together for almost 10 years, I divorced him for infidelity and domestic violence. I have the sole custody of our 10yr old boy. 

After divorce my ex(39M) has been trying to get back with me which I REFUSED.  He calls and texts me I don’t know how many times a day to ask me how my day is, or what do I plan to do after work.  Honestly if I have a choice i prefer not to talk to him at all. Every time I see him or hear his voice it just reminds me of my painful, unbearable past.  I told him how I felt and he said it isn’t wrong for him trying to get his family together....

Doesn’t matter what I say, or how many times I’ve expressed my feelings just seems irrelevant to him. I am at he point i literally want to vomit when I see his name on caller Id.  

Now I guess he senses my resentment toward him, he changed his “strategy “.  He calls and says he wants to talk(video chat) to our son, then he starts chitchatting.  I’m very impatient and cold when I talk to him. ..


I tried to be civilized for our son’s sake, but he keeps crossing the boundaries. What do I do? I mean I have never lead him on, I’ve said it numerous times that we will never ever get back together...is it so wrong that I don’t feel like talking/dealing with him on a regular basis?  Any advice? ",2.4625070776973885,3.574149124567477,4.313804655552062,87.53204073608053,75.05536332179929,7.745894935514313,24.209027996225227,8.296473431620573,1.2697737024221452,1063,32,238,18,22,362,151,289,0.065,0.902,0.032,-0.8665,0,0,0,0,3,0,39.0,6,0,0,3,13,6,1,0,6,0,21,2,0,5,4,42,44,18,0,5,8,4,3,1,0,1,2,6,0,1,11,9,0,2,7,1,0,2,8,4,0,0,6,12,53,2,31,35,1,33,0,0,2,0,53,9,0,7,23,150,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11111533543696547,0.0,0.0,0.11386336028262488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732617002026845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10630277268512757,0.0,0.0,0.17487074529199748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3483294864666624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12028927926772046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1466660821514872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10285650101530007,0.09580492353180607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10719493436953624,0.0,0.11498959815595093,0.0812338907120161,0.10917868483176177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17822512551012984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12526352740799018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12815855700517562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010699808817488,0.0,0.0,0.06249161450046761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05555258205437713,0.0,0.0,0.10062908299556199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305666068980335,0.0,0.12386267744617968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1753991234726107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11931870023796272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12099462899896865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10854831859178056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10749196858741966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21632701799784573,0.18085227412046104,0.0,0.0,0.18122305544555484,0.10351660482790892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08048397238668509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27418549555267674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26521904642498945,0.0,0.0,0.10865403424851136,0.0,0.2316032924215511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938220165063736,0.20120593521220265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278166767743188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486463671412052,0.0,0.07322501067996061
divorce,Stuck_N_TheFacade,2018/03/05,"Stuck in the Delusion Male, 40, over 15 yrs of marriage, past 10 yrs have been repeated conversations of lacking affection and intimacy, LL spouse is unable to initiate any form of affection. Did counseling, failed miserably and only left me hopeless. 

Reduced all my feelings to writing to help clearly state where I am without interruption and ended the letter by stating my desire for a divorce. We spoke for hours after she read it. So it’s all on the table, but she is refusing, using the letter as a checklist and acting like all is well each day. 

Each day consists of me saying to myself WTF is going on around here. I am in 100% avoidance mode as she is now trying to be affectionate, which is not well received at this point, not after years of brushing it off, stating it’s my responsibility and ignoring my needs. The vailed attempt to show affection is actually insulting and infuriates me. 

So after already experiencing the hardest conversation of my life in stating my desire for a divorce, I have to do it again apparently.  

Short vent, short on details, just going crazy......

",8.253327180433779,8.42442816751269,8.825002307337332,63.68976003691741,61.74111675126903,11.224550069220124,39.73650207660361,10.832165505486646,4.657420304568529,867,43,136,20,11,291,124,197,0.145,0.7170000000000001,0.138,-0.6998,1,1,0,0,2,1,29.0,1,0,0,2,10,10,1,2,9,0,15,1,0,4,4,32,22,11,0,4,5,1,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,1,7,10,0,3,1,2,0,4,3,6,2,0,4,5,17,4,33,17,7,35,0,3,0,0,20,15,0,0,13,106,24,2,0.0,0.0,0.2124011243735479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401891087399904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480137288483545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376022806841253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28074057863114826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19277885336590214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1100535510641154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473981507652965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589041125909086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21434758460082814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2364841766001561,0.0,0.15373706191633005,0.10633586035448643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1613893679245072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16553740297619848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2077775401365059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057555299545268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2177151730794986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17308900373740033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477743214916078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798513563385785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3913982563524956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098128793196773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14016350315631376
divorce,OwnPair,2018/03/05,"What to do?? My wife of 28 years told me she had a one year affair . This news is only two days old I’m trying to figure out what to do. Do I leave her, sell our nice home, move into a lesser house and lifestyle? Or do I try to forgive her?? She says affair was a big mistake and it’s over. She says she wants me to stay. My question is can I forgive her and live with this or is that impossible. I have no experience with divorce nor do I know anybody who has been in this situation. 

Thanks for any help",0.2693686868686882,2.146256694444446,2.5520538720538752,94.2528787878788,83.90740740740742,5.0383838383838375,19.077441077441076,6.11248444174946,-0.2502518518518517,385,10,91,3,11,131,74,108,0.053,0.823,0.124,0.8299,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,0,3,0,14,0,0,0,0,17,19,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,8,7,0,0,5,0,1,1,2,1,0,2,4,2,17,4,13,15,0,11,0,0,0,0,20,5,0,3,4,64,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14228392436766765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493637234764394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2046675909196373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1402428031714788,0.0,0.20987526519610092,0.0,0.0,0.2414239213763273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11498761866606552,0.0,0.0,0.2215449038677208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18475437717858414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223789241492758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21955222812479544,0.0,0.14178001124218872,0.1591292342159475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2343860603781244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33277700532603005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351838641965473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22301188896157725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19263134632249945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19992872254250946,0.0,0.2841075695638631,0.0,0.2043878098349215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12340957815685133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694751823005911
divorce,2boycrew,2018/03/05,"Visitation when parent lives hours away I’m curious about others situations with visitation. I (33F) left my husband (31M) 6 months ago. We were married 8 years and have two children (under 8 years). I live with my parents two states away with our children. Things got physical and I packed up my car and left that day.  We are doing AWESOME and my kids are flourishing. I keep saying it, but I never even dreamed life could be this good again!

Since our move things have been amicable mostly. Only talk regarding kids. STBXH plans to move to same state but not same town. As far as I know he’s looking for jobs about 3-4 hours away. 

How do you work visitation when a parent lives that far away? Once he moves, doing every other weekend seems complicated and a big burden on the kids. 7 hours in the car for a quick weekend, yikes! Not to mention, they’re in sports and have games every weekend. I am curious to hear how others handle this. Of course, also depends on STBXH place mentally and able to seek help for his anger/rage issues.
 
Thanks all!
",2.880223880597015,5.330398850746271,3.6518880597014953,86.78051865671644,77.90547263681592,6.408059701492538,22.487810945273644,7.554174236665415,0.9870515422885572,823,25,159,12,20,261,130,201,0.019,0.878,0.103,0.9477,4,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,1,0,2,10,3,0,0,5,0,13,1,0,3,2,28,21,16,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,5,10,12,0,1,2,6,0,8,3,1,0,2,3,3,17,2,26,16,4,43,0,0,1,0,26,17,0,3,16,97,27,2,0.10674135484365216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09461977066408328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536102290387931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4011480663445867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522428621956217,0.0,0.0,0.06883934338219297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07050165817253877,0.0,0.17986839034532326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952958413357663,0.0853708124768057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12030526463416785,0.0,0.07154648014050671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3153561993373252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141024218215012,0.10592432422107716,0.09487662065403896,0.0,0.0,0.0586622570944798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319495887172344,0.0,0.07539457564296335,0.0,0.0,0.2827637157576621,0.0,0.08963585457149535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757017984780656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08519993106427623,0.3403475027704477,0.0,0.0,0.0823255132512195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367605924752835,0.0,0.08118161030826235,0.0,0.0,0.3555709276985605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152199707233264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488500965594702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09717332052474056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08829755176139448,0.1199817551317166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08579465773266863,0.0,0.09827309838673166,0.0,0.0,0.1418284263137863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085415871135383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07770897760957927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374758657330492
divorce,jigenbabe,2018/03/05,"Can't seem to find solace I did not want it to end. I had to end it because ex became toxic. During the months of mounting toxicity I took comfort in his getting help and the future we would have. Our second child will only be one next month. We have a young daughter. I cry when I think of the moments we will never share watching them grow. Nothing I have read is helping me cope, or seems to suggest how to cope with moving on while having to coparent. ",2.5968478260869574,4.442767380434784,4.029782608695655,86.65380434782612,76.28260869565217,5.469565217391305,24.54347826086957,5.985473137389443,0.6721478260869569,357,12,70,2,8,118,71,92,0.068,0.851,0.081,0.2937,1,0,0,0,0,1,8.0,4,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,4,0,12,0,0,1,1,15,18,5,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,5,0,0,4,1,0,3,3,0,0,2,3,1,13,2,11,11,0,16,0,0,1,0,13,2,0,3,11,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13056944190406192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352798304648779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3794210344251049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957675877370134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119064682056757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28713673614171914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3419319871117629,0.22765217545193725,0.0,0.0,0.1651980581694875,0.0,0.2277955988603992,0.0,0.0,0.20552297995341454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1451420278174302,0.16290265134542994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21424994167559205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.389984665083896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13724557099158027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379751690188518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263359783148972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15215583590510784,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Readymadex2,2018/03/05,"When do you stop wearing your ring? STBX has made up her mind, there is no chance at reconciling. She will be meeting with her attorney to draft up the papers this coming week. 

This is not what I want.  I fought for a long time to keep her, for years now, but she is done. 

I took my ring off this morning. Symbolic I suppose... like I am finally ready to let her go. 

It feels weird. Should I continue to wear it until the divorce is finalized?  What did you folks do?

I haven’t told anyone other than close friends what is going on.  I’m not sure if people will notice and ask questions out of curiosity.   Not exactly sure what to say if they do. 
",0.8737948717948711,3.2191721230769264,2.4946153846153862,92.61371794871798,85.46153846153845,5.9282051282051285,20.2051282051282,7.3011,0.5447589743589738,496,15,108,8,15,162,93,130,0.084,0.8109999999999999,0.105,0.7117,0,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,0,3,1,0,3,6,1,0,3,0,18,2,2,1,3,23,30,6,0,4,6,0,1,1,1,3,0,3,0,0,10,5,0,2,3,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,6,4,18,4,17,19,0,22,0,0,0,0,18,7,0,3,12,77,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353729637266709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1809943345962758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16677337505009052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19812490810631447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789239395183376,0.0,0.0,0.4241691463742326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14957857278750508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200601162207144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17208482408577627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797400469756532,0.0,0.09458551616352824,0.0,0.0,0.17133413793225838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18319352402447306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954856373032675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2204203252587852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342211773519982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688166215994054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15396229180029514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16186226514650318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3649404279043833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11289250415917347,0.0,0.0,0.18499766406150986,0.2151020342480396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11419311538380655,0.0,0.1552980764732684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467513075205873
divorce,ThoseSelfishPeople,2018/03/06,"I have been married over 20 years living 600 miles away from my husband since 2013 
I moved out with my kids I had to do it because our home was so toxic.   I married a p/orn addict who preferred that activity and what follows (all his entertainment) to his wife and or his kids.  I can honestly say I raised my kids myself his input was cash and that was it (not what I was after but all that was left)

How living separated is generally customary for perceived not married?   I have tried to divorce before and was threatened that my kids would starve.   

I was just wondering if being in a home separated for 5 years would make it even a little like “separate” so I can avoid the threats.  Trying for the least amount of grief.  ",4.5602127659574485,5.745314560283688,5.391269503546102,81.52350000000003,70.06382978723404,8.193191489361702,28.28439716312057,8.548686976883017,1.9830873758865244,567,20,111,9,10,185,89,141,0.133,0.833,0.034,-0.9456,0,1,0,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,5,6,1,1,5,0,18,1,0,2,2,23,21,10,1,4,6,2,0,1,0,2,1,1,2,4,10,6,0,1,3,1,1,2,2,3,0,0,9,1,20,3,14,9,4,12,0,1,0,0,14,7,0,3,4,84,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22851000549800998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969390852788948,0.0,0.0,0.12777863996582994,0.0,0.17836592323168382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844795212566996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42051950747929207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2277460302827379,0.0,0.0,0.10240672513738862,0.21008811657865034,0.3701856892149144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991885346856472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227863192207311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1666933240672513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17339471915906002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2846280506483286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2273172477911811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2978072892293468,0.0,0.0,0.2699688570567253
divorce,dawhizz,2018/03/06,"4 months pregnate and looking for a way out. So as the title suggests I'm pregnate with my spouse's child and ready to leave, but need some advice before I fully commit to a plan. He knows, of course, I've told him I was unhappy for awhile now, was suicidal as a kid/teen and a lot of those old feeling and ticks have started to resurface. He knows of this also but when ever I tell him or have a nervous breakdown  he just says I'm being over dramatic and walks away. I put up with it for years and even at the beginning of my pregnancy, thinking maybe this baby would change his ways but so far nothing. I don't want to bring a child up around two people who consistently fight and hate each other, so I told him I wanted to end things. He told me he doesn't want to but seemed rather indifferent about it. When I try talking about it he gets angry and shuts down not willing to compromise or even suggest something of his own that could possibly help(another longstanding issue in our marrage). 
We agreed for the most part to stay living together . Neither of us can afford to move with how high rent is here. And as much as we don't get along, I not going take his child away from him, he may be a crappy husband but I know he'll be a great dad.
The advise I'm looking for is what would be the best option for us with a baby on the way and still living together? He showed time and time again he's not willing to work our issues out, but I want to do this as amicable as possible. Should I start with separation, since we'll still be around each other or  just a flat out divorce. I'm open to any and all suggestions. I'm sorry for the slight ranting, I haven't been able to stop crying since I've told him and really have no one to talk to about this. ",5.170224244822585,4.9550450304709175,5.7907400079145255,84.16395198522626,68.22437673130193,8.870650309985493,27.993800290199186,8.418075326091056,1.6930980345600846,1380,39,295,18,21,449,194,361,0.123,0.8109999999999999,0.067,-0.9743,4,0,1,0,2,0,30.0,7,0,0,3,23,5,2,1,17,0,27,0,0,1,3,69,59,35,1,10,15,3,1,0,0,8,0,1,1,3,14,29,0,1,6,1,1,5,9,3,0,2,7,4,31,2,58,38,11,44,0,0,2,0,46,18,0,9,17,203,45,2,0.09554097994145952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09336153984904587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07640408714117987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497114259999526,0.10018304784012093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17010345602384144,0.0,0.0,0.17952779134348162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812983370045053,0.0,0.10026436403851784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10106968849621274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628169824296191,0.0,0.10494728020689552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08462095016288651,0.0,0.0,0.1262078323657841,0.08642228618137912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04830839014364843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998324374217726,0.0,0.05429814064347821,0.0,0.0,0.1053342676747479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09432693778201952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06403910493733718,0.10094429087194567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994399214660326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15752047189003074,0.0,0.0,0.10116410272953363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1687288713604079,0.0,0.1604607210803098,0.0,0.0,0.08122552456845428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959837559317124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625989867515565,0.10154494161126268,0.07023361334301939,0.07084242603123114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167414700830874,0.0,0.10025418672584928,0.0,0.06474104062832838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10346157087607234,0.0,0.06623608576015111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21541619917594415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604507343689546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120599821710904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759780219835923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697691987044671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580649718016402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07355211406889528,0.0,0.10695030498922778,0.1352487946985802,0.10183397248571724,0.15259829999312916,0.0798765372729499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450632512742476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07183492669431725,0.1535844412978939,0.08350702760798892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347318175519702,0.0612188021708001,0.0,0.0,0.1114214274481464,0.0,0.0,0.3651740026112464,0.0,0.06486605390561735,0.0,0.09332965475545292,0.0,0.2298480704379769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2254101814036289,0.2275079484329024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955497128496177,0.0,0.0,0.13573914189156552,0.0,0.0,0.061525258648228325
divorce,SafeCucumber,2018/03/06,"Is getting cold feet before a divorce a thing? I'm going to court tomorrow morning to finalize my divorce. It should be a quick thing. We went to mediation, signed all the agreements. I have an attorney. So does STBX. I'm not worried about any of that. What I am worried about is this weird nagging thought in the back of my head for the last week or two: ""Am I making a huge mistake?""

We separated 7 months ago. I initiated the split. I was unhappy, and then unfaithful. I told my then-husband about the affair and we went through a period of trying to work on our marriage but the truth was that it was already over for me. Eventually, I moved out (that was 7 months ago) and I filed for divorce in October. I've continued the relationship that started as an affair and I am really happy and optimistic about our future together. For a long time, I've felt really ready for my divorce to be final so I could move on with my life. These sudden doubts are new and confusing. I think it is stemming from the reality of it all setting in. In addition to the court date coming up, our home was listed for sale this morning. I've been staying with family since the split and just recently began hunting for apartments. 

My STBX has severely struggled with the situation. His mental health took a steep dive when we separated and I won't go into all the details, but things got really bad. What I understand from our limited contact is that he is in a much better state of mind now and he is working really hard to regain control and understand himself. He's always been really clear on one thing: He does not want to divorce. He believes that we can work through our issues, individually and as a couple. I believe that there is too much damage done and that we are too far gone to have a real future together. I also think there are a lot of reasons we weren't compatible to begin with. But this voice in my head keeps saying, ""It's not too late to stop all of this."" That voice is stupid. I know I can't undo the hurt that I've caused. I know that the issues that led me to feel alone and unfulfilled in our marriage are all still there. I also think that if I were to try to go back, I couldn't fail. I couldn't put us through another split like that. The stakes would be too high.

I'm rambling, but I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else had this panic right before everything became legal and final? I'd like to hear your experience. What did you think it meant and did it affect your actions? ",3.3038580931263835,5.0897591010101015,4.732677999507271,82.63527716186256,74.15151515151516,7.899975363389998,26.012564671101256,8.628873520835908,1.8870886917960088,1965,69,386,38,41,655,237,495,0.103,0.8079999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.8216,0,1,0,0,5,0,56.0,14,3,0,7,22,18,2,4,28,0,44,5,3,6,7,83,80,29,0,9,10,0,3,2,0,3,2,4,1,0,35,30,0,4,13,0,1,13,8,12,0,2,23,8,51,6,58,48,8,67,0,3,0,0,39,19,0,6,34,269,86,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424128255024863,0.0,0.0,0.08319615188760661,0.08864455232583192,0.12847742468835202,0.06683978851426438,0.0,0.0,0.05462616852474685,0.08423148855993216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05616758983155811,0.08230609217555396,0.0,0.0,0.07509635061226425,0.0,0.0,0.123535392996509,0.06707098385226813,0.0,0.0,0.1367073589987963,0.1810055359237992,0.0,0.07104407456840578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825195482789438,0.0,0.06919593297485421,0.0,0.0,0.0900952992035886,0.064135810712589,0.08888201260620372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405921107082581,0.08220399603867252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0671041959186052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219412104774221,0.07857673565595458,0.07572660780088558,0.0,0.0406165284392944,0.0,0.07712800511607874,0.2639880000062689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04196835189133946,0.0,0.1369576982645491,0.0,0.06424607951876925,0.0,0.08849095405086715,0.0,0.0,0.08551123508657743,0.07195860258760486,0.0,0.16488053399758076,0.08538549222605048,0.09053611385405576,0.0,0.0,0.08487152332737909,0.08057608515318236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0859933740773304,0.0,0.0,0.16768427219512327,0.0,0.07139970603732464,0.0,0.0,0.08829294051913543,0.06547848948850074,0.09061410316814453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056738430401581275,0.07848894387221837,0.0,0.0,0.0710882388816808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06829246056060084,0.0,0.0,0.053619930828887385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095228483655491,0.0,0.08110893631744738,0.0,0.12823496432428375,0.17075307194282954,0.11810145381614287,0.0,0.0,0.07758181406564467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05443270434081618,0.0,0.0,0.09424824557091492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075237955775033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0914314759595734,0.25730263002434856,0.08259112801250257,0.07931475213142809,0.08624280048684849,0.0,0.06860014271866223,0.0,0.06388048704338066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09074839678992924,0.0,0.06644860658104224,0.09029265573744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056856961077779086,0.0856195461544743,0.06415048372579459,0.06715826460231751,0.0,0.08397684156798896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21346687680764492,0.20588516504036425,0.0,0.06377189584547635,0.046840223439834856,0.0,0.0,0.07675737184703503,0.08924797462491639,0.10907562497396578,0.0,0.07846932107098553,0.16724970679750792,0.0966253549528443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04737985998013406,0.0,0.06443471739742929,0.0,0.0,0.14893074109482965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544042313701871,0.16315508335617512,0.0,0.05706309712008763,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,no-bs97,2018/03/06,"Is it normal to have conflicted feelings? I’ve decided my husband and I are getting a divorce. We’ve been married 20 years. I found out a year ago he’d been cheating for about 6 months. We decided to stay together, but he was working out of the country still and the kids and I moved back from living there with him. Over the summer, he got back with his mistress. More lies, deceit, and betrayal. I found out at Christmas time. Over the past year and a half, he has shown little remorse (none through his actions) and has been selfish and distant. I told him I was done. He wanted another chance, but I decided I’d had enough. He’s only “remorseful” now.

I feel at peace with the decision to divorce. I truly think it’s the right thing. He’s become a narcissist and extremely selfish. I miss the old him, not this one. But he’s been so remorseful lately and much kinder. I feel in my heart divorce is right, so why do I have doubts that creep in? Is this normal? Maybe I’ll feel better after the kids know. Why am I having doubts?",1.4759363732767774,3.9114541121951234,2.851940615058325,90.49069989395548,83.48780487804878,5.906680805938494,23.547189819724284,7.255503002510835,1.0618950159066811,803,30,162,12,23,260,117,205,0.182,0.731,0.087,-0.9633,0,0,0,0,3,0,31.0,1,0,0,2,8,7,1,2,12,0,20,1,1,0,0,38,33,14,0,3,4,1,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,16,0,1,12,0,0,2,2,6,0,2,12,4,22,1,21,20,4,30,0,1,0,0,21,12,0,2,15,106,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819826432923948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15164828865870614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22241006608083136,0.0,0.0,0.15972312246733633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790599468006028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799804127053867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14943270486379315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2924999728430123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171400956913932,0.0,0.0,0.07555878271840823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156670525313147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17137721465330866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794802131559445,0.0,0.16313939013454884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1449487709630526,0.12770346451205525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452917698142727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11543552903111325,0.1537098036972403,0.1063134681905811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2833967954110613,0.0,0.0,0.15175597244863248,0.0,0.09799929458063404,0.10999119384805747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13805761890388568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24701200044983526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541473132203137,0.11549494423006745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09608012130215722,0.09266763971638532,0.0,0.0,0.08432997975559094,0.0,0.0,0.13819207379032206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08530152803561275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609968808077085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10528619951653856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27939457975498616
divorce,HaiQQTpie,2018/03/06,"how can i divorce before a year is up?! I got married here in Canada, in May this year, we'd been together for 4 years prior but it didn't work out with marriage, I'm going back to my own country soon and desperately want out of this marriage, I've been living with my friend for the past 9 months not in the same house as my spouse. 

I read online you have to be separated for 1 year before divorce, is there any way to get around that and how am i supposed to prove we've been living apart? I'm only a temporary resident so don't get mail to my friends place. 

My spouse also wants to divorce so we agree on everything just want out of it..",3.5493333333333332,4.047491044444442,4.857037037037038,86.95666666666668,71.8888888888889,7.777777777777778,26.11111111111111,7.793537801064563,1.2454444444444444,501,15,111,6,9,167,87,135,0.026,0.856,0.119,0.9056,0,0,0,0,3,0,12.0,2,1,0,1,11,2,0,0,4,0,13,0,0,2,1,20,22,9,0,3,3,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,5,9,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,5,0,12,2,23,14,2,22,0,0,0,0,13,11,0,1,9,72,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14545449824004936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123688997546723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619174691474763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13985942391654746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3095438806798405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16346777931380446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2810499819808919,0.0,0.19005628673284114,0.0,0.10337023971074948,0.0,0.14547117959378145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098724993111201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212180688316902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14517999903768602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13833281270544476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1736311614616425,0.0,0.0,0.19003258835300585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18193563339319824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218439555499123,0.1443729680053336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13241547444524476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4685155446844654
divorce,Thundercruncher,2018/03/06,Just tell me it will be ok eventually. I suppose I just need a friend right now or a few.  Or a word of encouragement.  I go from shock one minute to hurt to anger to bitterness to loneliness to fear and then back through the whole thing again.  This is absolutely awful.  I feel very much alone right now but I don't want to talk to anyone.  I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.  Thanks for having this space here to vent.,1.3354797979798008,3.4899313863636365,2.436969696969701,95.00601010101013,81.72727272727273,6.183838383838387,17.732323232323235,7.3871296695380915,-0.007428282828283006,334,7,78,5,9,106,65,88,0.191,0.705,0.104,-0.5952,0,1,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,8,9,2,1,4,2,5,1,1,0,0,13,13,5,0,3,6,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,1,0,2,9,4,14,11,3,10,0,1,0,0,4,4,0,3,5,54,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419924433549665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16337453106076993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17966354761472156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2629228475485963,0.1181411968536673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1805185357043586,0.0,0.12207324241975147,0.0,0.13278950723620198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2573934214470729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25012871669141185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1717607048181248,0.3464991888349005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15832827388035509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3990741344242733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1878001901851892,0.20422167159708546,0.2151148690938656,0.0,0.0,0.15522764551605067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19278692158320013,0.1378136827517958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2608635070220813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SignalThroat,2018/03/06,"Still living with my STBXW. Never been so miserable in my life. So, this is kind of a weird situation. Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'd originally posted this in /r/relationships but their mods viewed this as more of a rant and blocked it. We live in Texas, if that's important.

My wife recently decided she didn't want to be married anymore. All fine and dandy minus the fact that I didn't want to break up the family (us and our 2-year-old daughter), but she did, so it is what it is. The problem is we still have to live together for the next month because neither of us can afford to go anywhere else in the meantime.

The time we've spent simply co-habitating has been a fucking nightmare.

She moved on a long time ago, and I'm having the hardest time doing the same thing. As a result, she's able to find 20 matches on Tinder in a day, she can go off and have sex with someone whenever she wants, or even develop a meaningful friendship in which she'll talk to someone all day. That someone used to be me, and it fucking kills me that it's not anymore.

So now I'm having to live with this unbearable jealousy. I'm jealous that other guys are able to bond with her the way I can't (only because she won't let me), I'm jealous she can do that bonding and I can't with anyone else. I've signed up for POF, Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, Match, and even Wild.

Nothing. Not. One. Fucking. Thing.

Maybe I should have posted this in the depression or offmychest subreddit, but I've never felt so ugly, unattractive, unwanted, unneeded, and worthless in my life. My wife has told me she has no problem with me connecting with others or having sex with others. But I just can't do it. I don't want to, I want her. In my entire life, she's the only person who's done either of those things with me. And even if I wasn't a one-woman man, I highly doubt I'd ever find someone who'd be willing to do it.

And now it's gone. I have no one. Nothing. And she has a world of opportunity. Maybe when I get my own place next month it'll be easier, but I'm still fucking terrified of being alone the rest of my life or dying alone because I don't think I'll ever have what I had with her ever again.

And yes, I understand women are attracted to confidence. But I got all my confidence from her, and now that she's gone, I can't muster it up myself because of lifelong self-esteem issues. I feel so stuck and ugly and... gah. Like an unattractive, worthless waste of space.

tl;dr: Separating, she's moving on with others, and I can't.",2.810183792815373,4.413698855750494,4.331856028961294,85.76030701754388,75.06237816764133,7.06895015316068,25.66457811194653,7.793537801064563,1.4117899749373437,1975,69,401,28,42,659,223,513,0.187,0.7440000000000001,0.07,-0.9963,1,2,0,0,0,0,83.0,5,0,1,1,21,20,7,2,23,1,52,10,0,5,10,83,81,38,2,12,16,3,2,1,0,5,4,0,0,4,35,30,0,1,9,0,2,6,18,15,0,2,15,3,58,5,54,54,9,56,0,4,1,6,35,20,4,7,27,286,93,0,0.1498226071353861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06640435072334258,0.0,0.0,0.1551710368580717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14858376774282425,0.05237972522909489,0.07675548311339178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266094141313607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09662318708728274,0.0,0.06452099599424561,0.0,0.07774610613370407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07666027219882628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515756344456935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484346285033928,0.2032846884901368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061971006833545,0.0,0.03787740591665231,0.0,0.07192659908612567,0.0,0.13693514865636086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27701717217467303,0.03913806426408567,0.0,0.08514764029837624,0.0,0.059913412740899924,0.0,0.0,0.0741739680703856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07914790513523291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818793835699166,0.0,0.0,0.0828782583646525,0.07800859500377824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660188329406407,0.2116482764012172,0.03659787900707402,0.0,0.264592213955905,0.06629414633615954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505169463945949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195869756244166,0.15923772084954307,0.0,0.0,0.11555243089356372,0.0,0.1593380423889029,0.0,0.0,0.14375883228446246,0.0,0.07860681165667296,0.0,0.15228551405172974,0.11394684399170445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06540966081163285,0.07826636817002804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348864284188295,0.0,0.0,0.14336000104350155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07702129652757934,0.07396587490609663,0.08042670525895808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07814882716934797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420344387066908,0.0,0.0,0.2538884176661516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.179472791388106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060210868217965764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1493032243269123,0.04800013854031331,0.0,0.0,0.1310441505932016,0.0,0.0,0.07158096081231882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07798530890298244,0.18021814921280727,0.1293986285740539,0.0,0.0,0.22092313864587687,0.059461105937866826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04824042343403094
divorce,crappy_client,2018/03/06,"On spousal support I am looking for opinions on whether I should seek spousal support from my husband after our divorce. 

**TL;DR: Our divorce is extremely amicable (thus far). However my attorney advised me that I may be entitled to a not-insignificant about of spousal support. I don’t want to make the divorce contentious, but it looks like I’m technically owed a lot of money and I don’t want to screw myself over. Looking for advice from those who have been through similar situations.**

With that, short history of our finances: 

- We’ve been married with fully combined finances for 9 years

- For most of that time, I made more money than he did

- H made several major mistakes financially prior to our marriage, costing me significantly

- 4 years ago, I started my own company and took a significant salary decrease vs my market value (making less than him for the first time)

- H’s salary and - eventually - a huge stock payout kept us extremely comfortable

- Last year my company struggled and I stopped taking a salary mid-year. Again, okay for our household because of H’s income. 

- In Sep, H was fired. Starting in Jan we’re making comparable salaries (his went down with his new job; I’m able to take payroll from my business again)

According to my lawyer, when you look specifically at the last 3-5 years of our relationship the pay gap between us is huge and I am thus entitled to support. But considered in the context of our complete history this makes me feel *icky*. 

I don’t want to screw over my husband. But I also don’t want to screw over myself. 

Any similar experiences or advice to share?





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divorce,Sunny_Gumdrops,2018/03/06,"Is it hard to file for uncontested divorce on your own? (NY) We have two kids under 18, we agree on all terms of custody & child support. We don’t own any property together.  Married for 15 yrs ",0.7061538461538461,3.1715319230769268,2.8827692307692345,88.2872307692308,88.74358974358975,6.196923076923077,25.748717948717946,7.554174236665415,1.6463394871794863,151,7,31,3,5,51,34,39,0.034,0.841,0.125,0.5859,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,4,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,1,7,4,4,4,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5008012442158017,0.0,0.3143167056698591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41404681164296203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5245071862571621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515092154780944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,surleybear,2018/03/06,"Just a rant 35m married for 8 years. I have a d5 and d2 with my wife. I live in NC. I work and she stays at home with the girls. One day when she was out late with friends she left her laptop unlocked and I got a little curious. I found some face book messages that indicated an affair was going on. I confronted her about it and she said she hasn't cheated just that she was miserable and it became a lot of blaming me for things. I have no doubt I have faults but the complete lack of taking responsibility on her part floored me, like why couldn't you have just said something? I love her so I did my best to make it work again. This all took place just after the new year. fast forward to early Feb. and she doesn't come home one night from going out with friends. I start looking through the cell phone logs online and there are hundreds of texts, pictures and calls to the other guy. 

So I don't confront her this time, I just started consulting lawyers and collecting some evidence of the affair. I have started a parenting log and getting my ducks in a row for filing. The thing is this double faced life is killing me. I can't eat (dropped 30lbs so far) I can't sleep and the whole time up awake she is just sleeping peacefully like nothing is wrong in the world. I tried so hard to improve the things she said made her unhappy. If it wasn't for vaping I would probably be tearing through 2 packs a day of cigarettes. I just needed to let some of this anxiety out so thank you for listening.

I am focusing on being the best father I can right now and making sure my girls are the happiest they can be. My wife and I made it through me being in the military and now when everything seemed to be going so well my world is just nuked around me.  ",2.2182808365343583,4.2560258225352126,3.164327784891168,91.53634229620148,78.09859154929578,6.556551429790868,23.99701237729407,7.576466943178032,1.004427230046948,1377,47,296,20,33,438,188,355,0.079,0.752,0.16899999999999998,0.9916,1,0,2,0,0,0,27.0,0,2,1,4,23,18,4,2,21,0,33,7,4,4,2,50,58,24,1,5,10,4,1,2,2,1,1,4,2,3,15,23,1,0,2,1,0,6,8,8,1,2,13,6,51,10,40,37,11,49,0,1,1,1,39,22,0,7,23,211,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08137751276702941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09469738378483383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22327054801207669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10862200836342936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09163368941674906,0.1115334367904578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372077158642869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884942406925543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09560408222558447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166360283290344,0.16437199856504786,0.0,0.05557718144997576,0.0,0.1813681620647729,0.0,0.08507877621949309,0.0,0.0,0.10532917659127447,0.0,0.0,0.09529219358559783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2134080326376232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11768952016405684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11999700314040755,0.0,0.11557806807823545,0.10877688632012174,0.07513666607113602,0.10394009006351808,0.1066169127523798,0.09393214612029356,0.0,0.0893292284690767,0.0,0.0,0.0904372533395828,0.09600868660104514,0.2013114920601256,0.1420138981262775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07887661500760962,0.0,0.10273881063302816,0.0,0.09982687098839288,0.0,0.10207084659322067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441665516813732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811819719236555,0.11519507378921218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111405029095369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469155087883355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084470577354474,0.3035644190920653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684091027803717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2129060758386922,0.0,0.0,0.08189360683173683,0.0,0.0,0.2258808959686135,0.11338289062701433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10025832305714798,0.0,0.07998167446255444,0.0,0.0,0.09793692602272644,0.0,0.0,0.21201488999285056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405765201422228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11818788816425695,0.07222246678453167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564499191609237,0.0,0.09598798763465106,0.11876524434069954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548863018748295,0.0,0.0,0.07556661054862977,0.11630569110777772,0.0,0.13700558864261625
divorce,Rhcpchick88,2018/03/06,"Divorce possibility / rant I never thought this would happen to me.

I’ve been suffering major depression for a long time. 

He left because he couldn’t handle it any more. I was in the middle of school. Everything has fallen apart. I dropped out of school for the second time. 

I’m in an intensive therapy program for a few more weeks to help me with my depression, and he still doesn’t want to give it a chance. 

He keeps saying he thinks it isn’t meant to be. He’s telling me that he thinks I don’t want to be with him - that I’m just scared to be alone. He won’t listen to me. He says he hasn’t met anyone else... so I don’t know why he is so set on this.

I do know we have issues and need counseling but he said he thinks the counsellor will side with him and I’ll be resentful of it, so he doesn’t want to go. I asked him if he thought he did everything he could to save the marriage and he said yes. (Even though he doesn’t want counselling.) 

He blames all of his problems and all of our problems on me - from him not furthering his career, to our money problems, to my depression. I think my depression has got worse because he’s constantly harping on me for everything I never do around the house (because IM TOO DEPRESSED TO GET OUT OF BED.) I know he doesn’t understand at all so it’s hard for him to grasp that it’s been my depression... and I understand that it’s super hard to deal with depression... he was all alone and had no supports, I know he felt emotionally neglected... I know he’s hurt.

After I’ve started this program he refuses to acknowledge I’ve even been trying.... my dad never sees me and he says he notices an improvement after two weeks of this course... hubby says he doesn’t notice anything, even though he’s only seen me twice... like, I go to bed before 12 AM on weeknights now.. I don’t sleep past 1 PM anymore... that was a HUGE step for me, but I guess it’s not good enough. He won’t let me take baby steps. 

He gets mad when I react (out of hurt)  to what he’s saying. He says I’m just proving to him I haven’t changed. 

I don’t know what to do.

I feel like a failure at almost 30, with no kids.... And a waste of 6 years of my life.im so confused and lost.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

I’m just at a loss here. This sucks.",1.4514441269215617,3.216838485169493,3.09093023255814,92.45292668506107,79.40254237288136,6.594087504927081,22.417422152148205,7.5712925761633665,0.7596548482459595,1743,54,397,26,43,576,200,472,0.198,0.7170000000000001,0.085,-0.9956,0,2,0,0,1,0,76.0,3,0,0,3,19,28,3,2,14,1,39,1,1,1,8,74,88,21,0,12,8,1,4,2,0,4,0,10,2,1,20,20,0,3,20,0,1,5,22,21,0,3,18,16,48,7,58,59,9,43,0,13,2,0,66,19,1,4,19,228,68,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07039776377889011,0.14562430377186975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04780808714499026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972115469312998,0.04915711831728991,0.07203318361070647,0.05785293874338726,0.06258409906163806,0.06572331487454454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12856719087950025,0.0,0.0598222199074341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07437068646141236,0.0,0.0,0.07597198952807682,0.0,0.056130797939324524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247875470297235,0.4238598721388001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058728688701969414,0.0790808109543344,0.0,0.07264123963790878,0.0,0.1393023457799902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18954996791562528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03554703878367535,0.05022409522246758,0.06750139153981302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07346027293288265,0.06744053069887998,0.07990902224627132,0.05896637237473318,0.05622730371371087,0.0,0.07744609144407848,0.0,0.062168237844072174,0.0,0.12595440010702738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04712226054543199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08111960591007931,0.15052048616290212,0.0,0.1518774528695436,0.07337750856823316,0.0,0.06248806131831707,0.0,0.0,0.231818378002148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638383419753443,0.07188903385697673,0.0496567102977379,0.0686924668139839,0.0,0.0,0.06221546945763995,0.0,0.0,0.0767434455462222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05212838718437241,0.1626647856334182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16007964529991145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05346819277385868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06711165797190992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925546643108344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20180989406988484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337474871126558,0.3354440526119821,0.07038503208055343,0.14229969620716482,0.056021962714250105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07035323685070649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04976044674951654,0.0,0.05614363956290819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797784044450191,0.0,0.0,0.052858704619058935,0.0,0.06144745333603128,0.06472506456910437,0.08039699593520865,0.0,0.0,0.1801879241750472,0.13814363032814533,0.11162460909556916,0.08198786569070718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04773075913046382,0.0,0.06867529320256828,0.1463746913519482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16586486191661254,0.0,0.11278479409016523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06343704004013241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164421819848474,0.0499408542380986,0.0,0.0,0.04527248266483127
divorce,xxJaykayxx,2018/03/06,"Wow this sucks So, I guess here this goes. 

After 10 years of a relationship, 8 years of marriage and two kids my wife has called it quits. 

I am so numb and don't know what to do. I am seeing a Dr for meds (as I already had depression before everything; one of the reasons she said she could no longer be with me;) a therapist and looking into support groups. 

I have tried to take my own life twice since this all happened. I don't know what to do. I am a Bi man that now has to put his life back together and move on. But the shit part is most of the time I don't want to. 

I know people keep saying keep going for your kids and it will get better with time. But sometimes it gets to the point you just can't anymore. 

I know how bad that sounds. I also know how much of a shit dad it makes me say that I want to leave my kids. 

She has already moved on and the kids love the new guy she is with. She hates me for everything that I have done and she says things like ""I have never been happy with you"" and ""I can't see you anymore bc you make me sad seeing how bad you are"" 

The shit part is bc of things that I did and said I lost my friends to her as well. 

I live in a state where I have people I know but don't have real friends. I have people I can talk to but I don't have anyone that is willing to just come sit with me. Willing to give me a hug and let me just fucking cry. 

I feel so cut off from everyone. I work from home so there are weeks I don't leave my apt. unless it is to pick up or drop off the kids. 

I hate the words it will get better, and you can do this, and do it for your kids. Bc they fall short they do not connect with me. 

I don't even really know why I am putting this on here. I have never really been a person to use this site. At this point, I feel like I am just screaming out into the world hoping that someone will come and save me but I know that is not the case. 

I am so numb and broken don't know how much more I can take. 

All I know is the feeling that I have right now and the things that have happened and I am not sure I can push through to the ""it gets better"" point. 

Feel like my life is really over. I don't know how to be me and I don't think I have the strength needed to learn. 

this really fucking sucks....



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divorce,davucci89,2018/03/06,"Acronyms in r/divorce I’m usually browsing via mobile, and I don’t see a guide to what things like “ST BMX HP LMFAO” (dry illustrative joke) mean... can we add these long ass names for ‘ex-whatever’ to the ‘guide’?

As I write this I am thinking ‘soon to be’ has something to do with it, but I’ve been following this sub for a month and just thought of that. Please help those that are even dumber than me, they are having a tough-enough time if they are in here :)",4.090886524822693,4.391363265957445,4.454042553191492,91.03333333333336,70.59574468085106,7.9687943262411345,26.30496453900709,7.793537801064563,1.0951049645390072,353,10,82,4,6,111,75,94,0.057,0.789,0.154,0.8543,0,0,1,0,1,0,15.0,1,0,2,0,4,2,0,0,4,0,11,1,1,0,0,13,17,5,0,1,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,1,7,2,12,14,0,8,0,0,1,1,6,2,1,1,6,51,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3224790220501862,0.0,0.2061367365624496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2091916461397333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247454222152446,0.0,0.0,0.2761955033683473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33996448668132645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24911237834937197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34258813939599503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487004329699715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402670654779677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20734298816463545,0.19997877879997836,0.0,0.24776968948564146,0.1819859275510184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34373010498196016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,HeavyLeadBelly,2018/03/06,"I need advice I'm 40, male, married less than two years, have three step kids, known my exwife for 17 years.  We are divorcing because she was having an affair.

So, seems like a run of the mill divorce.  The problem is that we were in the process of moving to WA from WI.  I questioned her before we did this in regard to the kids dad and if he would contest it.  She assured me it would be fine, it wasn't.  I moved out to WA to start my job in Olympia last April.  Ive never been sold on living out here but I agreed as the school's would have been better and I would think that raising the kids here would be better than back home. Well first the dad got an attorney and contested the move.  Then, when I was home in the beginning of June to watch my step daughter graduate high school I discovered the affair.  When I returned to WA I called her and confronted her about it and she decided to file for divorce.  I was, and am, still devastated.  She is now living with him.

Now that the divorce is almost done, and my lease is up in a few months, what do I do?  I'm so miserable here.  It's so expensive, the people are weird and I can't stand the weather and lack of good food choices.  I don't have a lot of money so I could really only make it back to WI but I don't know if that would be good either.  I don't know I just feel so detached from everything and I feel that my emotions are all over the place and I can't trust them to make a sound decision.  I won't move unless I have a job but I need to get out of here.  Any help would be appreciated, thanks.",1.1351091660110129,2.968266344512198,2.7468174665617617,94.21454760031472,80.67682926829268,6.061526357199056,20.33674272226593,7.1029339738359605,0.2628643587726196,1203,32,279,15,31,395,164,328,0.08199999999999999,0.805,0.113,0.8786,2,0,0,0,3,0,33.0,3,0,1,3,19,14,1,1,21,0,43,1,0,2,3,55,61,26,0,14,8,3,2,1,0,8,0,1,2,4,13,18,1,0,10,0,3,7,8,4,1,3,11,4,41,10,37,37,6,40,0,1,1,0,29,13,0,6,20,199,54,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09785731784976599,0.0,0.0,0.10027745490576488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680997952984725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540055838140554,0.0,0.0610454555832825,0.0,0.0852132175387269,0.0,0.0,0.17713440521042914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225588016141687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995500506044563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10247973552115396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11264594255141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09000090978149328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012693127542887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08518048548349216,0.12109175055356144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05231990912047448,0.0,0.0,0.16798822659582693,0.08009247183381599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712287583088279,0.10580521243487366,0.2009005959258585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1987503857128583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007052733214176,0.08162885757949555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048924180070124536,0.0,0.17685392530847865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851368988564346,0.0,0.0,0.13369073511759386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07993215574541447,0.4257391488339215,0.0,0.14850761486144382,0.07723545858333215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07616228132776477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06942565116037669,0.0,0.10462677055806932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958220899160552,0.0,0.0,0.11218163122434076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06415334228128694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20269750917566687,0.0,0.09116524970686754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07088081619592076,0.0,0.0799732971944667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219703006457362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.064166762802929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978238973455258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09003942183326842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.49796457202559796,0.0,0.0,0.12897595307582693
divorce,Margra,2018/03/06,"People are amazing 
I am a medical resident. My wife finished a residency a year ago in a very specialized field and had to move across the country. It's ok, we've done long distance--A LOT--since we started dating 10 years ago, and we did fine. 


But for whatever reason, it didn't this time. 2 weeks ago, after 2 years of marriage, she called it quits. No counseling, no explanation. I was (and still am) in bad shape.


Residency is stressful. Between moving to a whole new state, 80 hour work weeks and switching rotations, I never made any super close friends in the city my residency is in. At least no one I could call and cry to, to ask for help. Well, I thought that anyway. 


After it happened I stayed with my parents. But I knew going back without my wife or family near by for support, I should reach out. Even expand my circle. I told 5 people I know (2 couples and another co-resident). And holy crap. 


Immediately one couple offered to help me clean out her remaining things and a place to stay if it was too tough for me to be alone there. Also have a board game night planned later. Another picked me up from the airport and let me vent over beers. That same couple cooked me dinner tonight. And I went out for tea with the 5th person today as well.


No one judged me. Everyone was so empathetic. I cried over how amazing everyone had been, even if I haven't been a totally engaged and available friend in the past.


I just want to let you all know: there are people in your life who care about you. And you may not even know how much they care. Don't be afraid to reach out.


People are fucking amazing. 


^^except ^^STBX



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divorce,brave_new_username,2018/03/06,"Heading to Divorce but Staying out the Lease So, my husband and I are definitely separating for at least a year. He is still saying he doesn't want to but I need at least a year to sort things out (its been messy, I don't feel like going into details at the moment). I'm 90% sure I want a full divorce but because the process is so long and so final once its completed, I would like some time to focus on myself and own my own space so I can make that decision with a clear head. 

Right now, we're living in an apartment together and our lease is up at the end of August (ugh). We have a 1.5 year old so neither of us can really just say, fuck it, and bounce. If we break the lease, we won't get the deposit back either and neither one of us is in a place, financially, to move soon. So, it looks like we'll be riding out the lease while being separated. I think the apartment is big enough for this and he works late while I go to work early, I've asked him to move downstairs and that we need to draw some hard boundaries for each other. 

BUT, he's just not getting it. He came into my room without knocking yesterday. He went into my room and plugged his phone and watch into my charger this morning. And he slept upstairs on the couch last night. And he keeps texting me that he misses me and he loves me and he wants to work things out. He asks for hugs all the time...

I dont really know why I'm writing this besides to vent and complain. Our therapist said that divorce takes a lot of maturity to handle correctly and I know that I'll only alienate him from the friends and support he needs right now it I vent to them...so I'm venting here.

If anyone has tips or words of consolation to handle this situation, I'm alllllll ears. ",2.4039794007490656,4.0526229747191,3.8874382022471927,88.32741198501873,76.2752808988764,6.544419475655433,24.507116104868913,7.3011,0.9544718352059928,1353,45,290,16,30,448,190,356,0.073,0.852,0.075,0.6901,0,0,0,0,3,0,41.0,9,0,0,3,14,12,1,0,19,0,19,7,4,1,4,68,51,32,0,9,12,1,2,3,1,3,0,4,3,0,18,32,0,1,5,0,1,7,8,4,0,1,5,8,32,8,42,41,14,59,0,1,2,3,39,27,1,7,26,185,50,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07556262350862142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205521672563256,0.0,0.0,0.08309648338996435,0.0,0.06587634760092488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12359930971707613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11330569024770695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665315669118635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957148609444777,0.11166160323983496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05464167958585308,0.0772027435347373,0.0,0.11838159049307563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08349192533983332,0.09990575644920904,0.1129205929167658,0.0,0.1228333875058188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09680637555999727,0.0,0.22181485357877315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0960544883998798,0.0,0.0,0.1187810664998132,0.08808863730793191,0.12190374169159797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15838752917452445,0.0,0.0954247170972041,0.09563546961185994,0.09074865961495944,0.0,0.0,0.09187429087296677,0.09753425356688986,0.0,0.0721352413007597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297152170290775,0.0,0.2403898659905135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141310846413684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339763407401385,0.11508731697086352,0.07322867078676461,0.08218945818140906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11290651269270074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13846035992368036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845764353582973,0.10279600757600896,0.1718776684732972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12147129637469938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11518453169259135,0.08630206252760791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12263260633561593,0.101851416256543,0.0,0.08125257405250562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1254735590341063,0.14358918810785912,0.0692446625296289,0.0,0.0,0.12602891380805975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2599814355426168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912213003427757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10017874678223848,0.09751322569630518,0.0,0.0,0.10417226899013934,0.0,0.23602114104328895,0.0,0.0,0.07676735528179007,0.0,0.0,0.2087738874859966
divorce,bjason105,2018/03/06,"Anger Management and divorce I have been considering divorce for a while. After some thought, I talked to my wife about working on the relationship. We are going to seek couple therapy, and I will enroll in an anger management class. 
I wonder if this will impact me negatively from a legal point of view if later on, we realize that therapy didn't work and decide to go through with the divorce. 
Are there lawyers here that know the answer?


Edit: I am in NY State",4.761182266009853,6.757288632183911,5.668637110016422,76.55793103448278,70.72413793103449,8.649589490968804,29.66995073891625,9.23628265651192,2.813057142857144,369,15,64,8,7,121,64,87,0.087,0.895,0.018000000000000002,-0.7845,0,0,0,0,3,0,9.0,2,0,0,2,3,2,2,0,6,0,8,0,0,0,0,15,13,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,3,1,9,0,14,8,1,11,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,4,3,50,12,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28890615124822444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29678236971473776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14349570222260813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.246827284573147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2803275356951674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2098651717145759,0.0,0.0,0.59718941117968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20728708144974267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28315570070030804,0.380173040158621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ninjastyle18,2018/03/07,"Hiding money in secret bank account. I have a secret bank account with an online bank. I have a couple thousand in there. My wife has no clue about it. Is there anyway that she will be able to find out? 

Is there a way she can hire someone to find out if I have a secret account? What information is out there? Even if she hired someone, how would they know about the account? ",1.5950999999999986,3.93543936,2.6982500000000016,92.415375,82.06666666666666,4.283333333333334,20.041666666666664,5.148860815047168,-0.2384333333333335,292,8,59,1,8,93,46,75,0.075,0.925,0.0,-0.6553,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,9,0,0,0,6,0,11,0,0,1,0,15,12,3,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,4,0,0,7,0,8,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,8,0,10,9,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,5,0,2,0,49,11,2,0.3114320437562923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445936328841949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20569792771547346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5692864918521332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17115490659689114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5277507200790509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2472002603653204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2212323884626142,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Noidentitytoday5,2018/03/07,"Feeling shattered... please give me some hope I’m in my early 40’s. Have been with my husband for 25 years. He has made it clear that I’m nothing but a paycheck to him and has checked out of our relationship financially, emotionally, and physically— I feel like I deserve to be loved and 10 years of a declining sex life (the past 3 qualify as being sexless) are too much.  I  am tired of having everything fall on my shoulders.  Will see what the lawyer says tomorrow.

I’ve only ever been with him, so the thought of finding love again is scary as hell. Please tell me there is some light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel so alone 😞",2.7260822510822527,4.6222631666666665,3.955050505050509,87.10863636363638,76.06349206349206,7.121500721500722,26.533910533910536,8.00094639256281,1.5514698412698418,493,19,103,8,11,161,93,126,0.125,0.708,0.16699999999999998,0.4635,0,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,1,0,0,0,6,5,1,0,7,0,13,6,1,1,2,18,25,8,0,1,1,1,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,6,0,0,5,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,4,6,12,4,16,18,3,13,1,0,1,3,11,4,1,3,9,64,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18985998696225864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20620571357753106,0.16236347614019128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1658197263606865,0.0,0.0,0.16475251042131314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27807008082613205,0.13096091541240265,0.0,0.0,0.16754741132748466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758533149696755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18207405119361236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12948144129137246,0.08955888897597382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3308995133168556,0.17345793674012314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13475827891684558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17589654987098052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13942000229361853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749957689414714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4024516183963999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1968126722753015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14578016124572338,0.0,0.0,0.1460790381142723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16022617636021955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14553234781985505,0.0,0.2106946599088148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23609885838724476
divorce,HAPPY_FLAPPY_BUTT,2018/03/07,"Saw my lawyer for the first time today - this sub helped me a lot! She is drafting a simple Separation Agreement. It says we've been living separate and apart since April of last year and that what is his is his and whats mine is mine. When one of us moves out then custody and child support will be revisited. It's that simple. (Last April is when we stopped sharing a bedroom/bathroom.)

I didn't sit there and treat her like a therapist. She wasn't interested in our marital problems and she gave me good advice on what to include in the Agreement and what to leave out. She also didn't judge me or rush me and she helped me feel at ease. I like to imagine that thanks to all the good advice on this sub I was probably a very easy client for her. I knew all the legal jargon before hand and I knew as much about the process of divorce as possible (online research, research, research!). 

I just wanted to thank you, everyone! I visit this sub often and I absorb bits of information here and there - it helps tremendously! So here's to a good lawyer, a good meeting, and a new start! Cheers! 

",3.623994528043777,5.242399930232559,4.270725034199728,86.96939808481535,72.95348837209302,7.105335157318741,26.13543091655267,7.724431198458867,1.347820793433653,855,29,173,11,17,272,123,215,0.035,0.731,0.234,0.9922,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,3,1,0,1,11,16,0,0,13,0,12,1,1,0,2,29,22,20,0,2,2,0,2,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,13,15,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,1,0,2,9,4,29,15,22,11,5,26,0,0,1,0,24,8,0,3,16,119,42,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27952267440112905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143761917777418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170283727435666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15614509773791438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13666550219274212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231720058815927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12165608884603828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4798467748529315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28759779306256755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23316719771493336,0.0,0.15144169962316015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397485436610741,0.0,0.12629275783048066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159383775010102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520118118069831,0.10513905118873333,0.0,0.0,0.1381334108394806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09691672207422057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612380006808595,0.0,0.0,0.154203995741703,0.1368545931391745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373837628910173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118310879722452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123307966214616,0.0,0.0,0.1195744165988314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1623018702616451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2633544530114315,0.0,0.16606181592428526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339840858520164,0.0,0.13556997014918734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17204018769035698,0.0,0.0,0.11800972776816117,0.08435922442616757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09210272703503257
divorce,Clash_Tofar,2018/03/07,"Would like to own my own business I’ve been divorced for several years. My ex wife agreed to split time with our son 50/50 even though that is outside our decree’s text. Our mediator said we could agree and do whatever we wanted outside the decree but that one of us could always go back on it and ask for us to follow the document to the T. I say this for context because living in Texas, I pay her I believe 25% of my gross income per month which ends up being about 1,300. I work a full time job currently and I’ve still managed to save however, I would like to start my own company in the future. I read the courts only amend child support amounts for substantial changes and those changes can’t be “self-inflicted”. 

My question is whether or not there are any guidelines for people like me that want to start a company (dramatically reducing my income, most likely to zero for the first year while I live off of savings). 

In your experience or will the court see and understand this? Will I just have to save up the additional $15k I would have been paying in child support? Thanks for your feedback. 
",5.504803986710968,6.311601158139535,5.711843853820598,81.46424418604653,67.65116279069767,8.933554817275748,30.705980066445182,9.04235418022936,2.4326677740863785,879,33,171,15,14,279,137,215,0.026,0.818,0.156,0.9806,5,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,7,2,0,2,7,11,0,0,10,0,18,0,0,0,0,28,31,11,0,7,6,3,0,4,0,5,0,2,0,2,8,9,0,0,2,1,2,2,2,1,0,3,3,3,26,10,29,19,6,25,0,0,1,0,20,9,0,4,18,116,34,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10988396459343787,0.0,0.0,0.08980489168913876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345767267072355,0.0,0.0,0.101545494471215,0.0,0.08050215867379829,0.0,0.0,0.14878567349463054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2794025798295886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108773025818161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696539355628613,0.0,0.0,0.08722396022577451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291793919552001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112329622128025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07505237624387323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.131048535343528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580701262270024,0.0,0.2332216644340369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10540851933158936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08948683844555916,0.10043709229168636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09155333074907797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14793670373688775,0.0,0.13209509475650122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256186903841139,0.10501890165299337,0.0,0.0,0.10523421023954097,0.0,0.1377667110721605,0.1491894849075972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1869445860567865,0.0,0.10546277358242634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997187881033221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215825137611687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12974764835852168,0.0,0.15400974684152702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13747844860459227,0.3177022943512395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15578406132712444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614078516586846,0.0,0.0,0.2814335360530408,0.0,0.0,0.1700837931408273
divorce,chupacabras9,2018/03/07,"Wife asking me to sign ""Release"" form so her lawyer can contact my employee for financial disclosures TL;DR    
Long story, but basically we were supposed to come to an agreement between us, and then have her lawyer draw up the paper work, etc...  I gave her a proposal, gave her everything I was supposed to (401k balance, pension, bonuses, paystubs, etc), and instead of her giving me a counter proposal, she SERVED me last week!!! and now this morning, she is saying I need to sign this release form, or get subpoena'd!  WTF?!   
.  
I talked to several lawyers to see who i would hire, and they all said ""you NEED a lawyer ASAP"" and ""do NOT sign anything anymore...let legal counsel handle it now"".  
.  
Can someone with knowledge please tell me if this is normal procedure, or am I just being plain stupid and naive? I haven't put a retainer down yet for my lawyer (to save money due to kids), but it feels like I'm being taken for a ride...... ??",5.860470219435741,6.523984712643681,6.041159874608152,79.92437304075236,66.816091954023,8.856008359456636,33.63427377220481,8.841846274778883,2.8231333333333333,716,31,132,11,11,228,117,174,0.039,0.8170000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.9658,1,0,0,0,0,0,50.0,2,1,1,2,6,5,1,0,7,0,13,0,0,0,1,28,26,13,0,5,7,1,1,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,6,9,0,1,2,0,2,3,2,1,0,0,6,4,24,4,17,17,5,13,0,0,1,0,23,2,0,3,9,91,30,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1588311957156205,0.0,0.18043876274325524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16626145519791533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43051545443594347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734653917665073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09759190797902276,0.13788673957088338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10084001989319204,0.18515325864623405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15732931804641906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19736631283314834,0.0,0.09429518083009863,0.0,0.0,0.1708082185729092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2862296798420487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18910930972393736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21186756873589127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19402886208420614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18359718420087015,0.15348969625777953,0.0,0.0,0.15380437912944084,0.0,0.0,0.21804692643792264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16353717007664512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15513452857344262,0.16869968404426486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2321678664165571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548213806677934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051394254581767,0.0,0.0,0.1371091212648792,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,missingglove,2018/03/07,"So painful being away from the children After nearly a year of shared custody, I still have such a hard time when my children aren't with me. To make it even harder, my ex has moved back to our old neighborhood, near where the kids go to school.

We sold our house nearly a year ago, it was too expensive for either of us to buy the other out, and we each moved to other parts of town. There are 11 elementary schools in our town and because our oldest was going into 5th grade, they allowed the kids to stay at their school for the year. My ex talked about how expensive the old district was and how she would never move there, so we'd have to choose a new school for the kids. I was anticipating the kids going to the school right near my new house, and how they'd get to know all the kids in the area. Now my ex is moving back to the old district, nearly into our old neighborhood. Now she's friends again with all of our old neighbors, and is the defacto contact for playdates with the kids.

It's great that they get to continue going to their school, but I feel so left out. I have gotten more involved with our religious institution, volunteering at the school, actively pursuing playdates. It just seems to not be enough for me.

I'm considering moving back to the elementary school district so the kids can be closer to their school friends all the time. My block is mostly renters and childless families. It's not as friendly a neighborhood as my last one. Plus it's an ancient-ass house, with no garage.

I understand the ups and downs of divorce, but this just sucks. I've even contemplated reconciling with my ex so I can be around my children more often.

Divorcing someone with children is like having a loved one die, but you can't ever bury the body. The corpse of the marriage just keeps showing up, every day, and you can't move on. Ugh! (And by corpse, I mean the idea of marriage, and the ex-spouse, not the children!)",5.818039441817554,6.178679647214861,5.732582170453237,83.15750778456926,66.85145888594164,8.784638450005767,29.65390381732211,8.587818076936951,2.0007985007496245,1525,50,307,21,23,477,176,377,0.083,0.853,0.064,-0.8649,2,0,0,0,1,0,46.0,11,2,6,0,30,10,1,0,32,0,26,3,1,5,5,59,44,25,1,1,10,4,2,1,4,1,1,0,1,12,10,26,0,2,8,1,4,10,8,3,0,2,6,2,39,7,60,31,10,65,0,0,0,1,50,26,1,3,29,223,49,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059581915377107636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059835473266903375,0.0,0.0,0.06315057089782762,0.1550522287362503,0.0,0.040973553070802686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07466055382140414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04334802233430474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06975840989481498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06945091513018335,0.0,0.08878955849713317,0.0607996864419475,0.05663141612664911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06336418537962385,0.0,0.033985851370383416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15579009576938635,0.0,0.07023397737060719,0.0,0.15279900920813888,0.0,0.0,0.07410461732956021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0602113096893052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23267076223661046,0.0,0.07587739233498815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05974365339717198,0.0,0.0,0.03693952768541399,0.054789079648680544,0.0,0.0,0.07302913899341712,0.0,0.0,0.032837784064268995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0606640328476253,0.0,0.044866439099157655,0.0,0.0,0.07321668417893766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4286325356012781,0.0,0.0,0.05184024152124737,0.1298330558122671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35265342926888665,0.0,0.0910930535178521,0.0,0.07152134703865512,0.0,0.0,0.07278714028525535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05740112077545265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6122252150594818,0.0,0.061189881562621326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05695093036763507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07164209453190278,0.05367787176842558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402475614724953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838704749772217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699730367829912,0.08085119723971558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04774750605176889,0.0,0.0,0.12985249289359774
divorce,Stantheslaus,2018/03/07,"Wife has given up. TL;DR: I’ve been unhappy with my lot in life, was constantly seeking affection from wife. I’ve changed my attitude and have become a better husband. Wife still wants out and refuses to try. 

Background: 8 year Male Army veteran.
Have a 2 year old boy and one dog.
Own our house.
She makes way more money than I do (She is an Active Duty Army Officer and I just got a job with a National home builder making $30k less than her).

I was one of the unfortunate/fortunate few that got the “Pink Slip” or laid off from the Army a couple years back. Depression ensued. Wife was moved to a new duty station, I followed. We got pregnant, I had no job for the first time since I was 16. I started drinking a lot of beer and eating tasty food which led to massive weight gain and ultimately Type 2 Diabetes (its hereditary but the diet did not do me any favors).
I got a construction job in Dallas 7 months after being unemployed. Wife was pregnant 3 hours away in Oklahoma. That strained the marriage immensely. Due to my debt and expensive apartment and small paycheck, my being away from her was not justified. After the boy was born, we decided that I would quit and be a stay at home dad. We moved to Rhode Island for a prestigious course for her to attend for a year. Was not worth getting a job for that short amount of time plus I had an infant obligation. She studied intensely the whole time, our finances were falling by the wayside due to an error with the Army pay system. This led to more strain. I complained a lot because I felt worthless and we couldn’t do anything fun. We receive orders back to our home in Texas in July where she would deploying in January 2018. Assignment changed and she was to deploy as soon as we got to Texas, making it extremely hard to find a job and obtain childcare at the same time by myself. My depression worsened. October 2017, was diagnosed with tongue cancer. Depression multiples tenfold. She returns from her short deployment to be with me during my first surgery. Soon I’m ordered to have another surgery to remove lymph nodes. More depression. Then I’m told I need 6 weeks radiation. Wife tells me she’s unhappy and we need counseling. No more sex until she can “fall back in love with me”. Radiation finishes on 19 Feb. I’ve lost 30 pounds due to not being able to eat. My tongue is screwed up, neck is screwed up, but I can fit into old clothes again. Tonight, wife told me that she is unhappy and doesn’t want to try. She wants to move ahead with a divorce. 

That’s the meat and potatoes of the story. I want nothing more than to stay with her at least for the kid’s sake. He is the happiest two year old I’ve ever met and I love him more than anything. I feel she is destroying everything due to her selfishness. I have no idea what to do. She said she doesn’t want to involve lawyers and wants 50/50 custody. We still need to talk more tomorrow as she didn’t spring this on me until 9:00 tonight. She is definitely going to deploy again and will definitely move far from Texas where I’m at. 

I want to stay married more than anything. Ive changed so much since I started my individual counseling but she doesn’t want to work on it despite only going to a few sessions with some lame counselors. I have no idea what to do and feel incredibly betrayed. I’ve acknowledged the fact I wasn’t pleasant in the past and have become fully self-aware of my actions now. I’m on Prozac to help with my moods. I feel as if I’m about to lose everything. ",3.291448007774541,5.336500326530615,4.195239067055397,85.34882555879496,74.88921282798835,7.722021379980563,27.46831875607386,8.548686976883017,2.0464492517006803,2768,110,544,54,60,891,318,686,0.15,0.774,0.076,-0.9955,10,0,2,0,1,0,76.0,11,0,0,10,16,22,3,2,36,0,51,19,1,6,2,90,93,34,0,15,10,9,6,0,0,3,6,1,3,5,14,41,7,3,9,2,6,15,14,15,0,5,29,8,75,6,99,55,21,105,0,8,1,5,64,33,2,6,50,348,89,15,0.06255761035281615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04254132023178061,0.06559710895345547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544387491995645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11754986839415535,0.14430882273143222,0.0,0.03813453863232994,0.13817993146570814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05532712266678338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985329707304861,0.0,0.0,0.06760255279316421,0.0,0.0,0.06921880599062565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21552311252126452,0.06349465768075546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06128264221476321,0.0,0.12802410583095306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056586940054905326,0.0,0.0,0.11244549289421966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489302232078456,0.0,0.060065116282045236,0.0,0.057176522535805775,0.10642294281707072,0.07564491075410769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03268376943919666,0.0,0.07110586320840345,0.0,0.25016517872805266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05603933130920464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04193104756166105,0.0,0.18825115145895024,0.0,0.06160664492653169,0.07218308320160735,0.0,0.1412398550996532,0.0,0.0,0.3103938773877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04418629024052445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998596436779128,0.06828902153668713,0.1595527297219441,0.1129213715111858,0.0,0.1252730720349306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04993288774920168,0.26595535840260903,0.04598704158022096,0.13915702623603182,0.0,0.060418529899893714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060025714321608366,0.0,0.19693106622761145,0.0,0.08478131155749867,0.04757788162720192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05971831762291969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06653771897868463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05950661299415391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06526123090585269,0.0,0.0,0.10349660347271526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855719717995343,0.2000342672435724,0.09991717687343714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050281437561429713,0.0546781087866517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459113826868131,0.0,0.0,0.11955295507922355,0.0,0.08494502208034163,0.0,0.06110969533839687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951847951830921,0.049655319280985086,0.05017994160814205,0.07617831629137843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06984333789785903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04554268539439354,0.0,0.0,0.08887826305823067,0.0,0.0,0.201425250176961
divorce,moonstoofar,2018/03/07,"How did you start dating after your separation/ divorce and do you think you have found you true love this time? On the verge of getting divorced. Is there life after this? What happened to yours? Sorry for the tons of questions, I’ve never been through it. Although I think it’s for the best, I’m scared to have a life after being with the same guy for almost 10 years..",3.5578538812785365,5.367314671232883,3.7029452054794514,90.18446347031966,73.5205479452055,5.414611872146119,23.125570776255714,5.46131890053228,0.247622831050228,293,8,58,1,6,90,54,73,0.053,0.7979999999999999,0.149,0.8604,0,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,6,0,1,2,4,0,1,5,0,7,3,0,1,2,11,15,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,3,0,7,3,13,11,3,10,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,2,8,45,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2572236307882492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2695749087271612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816506428729447,0.0,0.0,0.13420680649630246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25434705489560605,0.22715408841942336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.362877416274252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23184009855246496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1981181622635899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28775926272151986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25717711093454265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28755100560691016,0.18181774669373985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.329190798063402,0.0,0.0,0.14978612502366845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16541935056945595
divorce,Shampoobridge,2018/03/07,"Making plans and need help Ok, so there is a very long and complicated backstory, which I won't go into here. The tl;dr of it is that I am planning on leaving my spouse. For legit reasons I need to keep my plans secret from him. At the moment he has full control of our financials and monitors them religiously. I know there are some things that I need to do, but I've been isolated and watched for so long that I am paralyzed with fear and doubt. For example, I know I need to set up a separate bank account so that I can have my paycheck deposited there when it is time. But is there any way he can find out about it before I am ready? What other things do I/should I have in place or lined up before I pull the trigger?",5.710956375838926,4.867234416107387,6.483145973154361,81.75478607382553,67.25503355704697,10.134563758389262,30.70553691275168,9.516144504307137,2.4052073825503344,564,18,123,10,8,187,93,149,0.076,0.878,0.047,-0.7319,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,1,0,1,4,10,3,0,2,5,1,17,0,0,4,0,26,26,12,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,2,5,0,3,2,1,2,0,0,1,1,18,1,18,24,2,18,0,0,1,0,8,9,0,3,5,89,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12727035687995122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3185065846236384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20990783707724525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21059898971804905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710543158660686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636327854289206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12544461146121422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635005371788564,0.0,0.0,0.2057086256152128,0.0,0.0,0.19816784717941432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33124876874130604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12492598175504972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5550858724308162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19553489654059114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924243017795957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486720772027957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10913033285180536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15442070285949727,0.0,0.1485532224069949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,JW8614,2018/03/07,"What happens if my spouse files a Response to divorce papers after I've filed a Request to Enter Default? We live in Los Angeles, CA

I served my spouse divorce papers (along with forms FL-140, FL-142, and FL-150) on 1/30/18. 

She never filed a response, so on 3/2/18 I filed a Request to Enter Default (FL-165), along with forms FL-170, FL-180, and FL-190. 

We have no kids, no assets, no debts, nothing... We weren't even really married and I haven't seen her in-person in about 3 years. However, she's claimed that I owe her a lump sum of money from April 2013 and has threaten to have it handled in divorce court. She already took me to civil court for this money and lost. 

My fear is that she can still pop up after I've filed a Request to Enter Default and drag this divorce out for money that I don't feel I owe her and that she already lost in court previously. 

So my questions are: 
What happens is my spouse files a Response after I've filed a Request to Enter Default? 
How long does it typically take to find out if your Request to Default has been granted? 
If my Request to Default is granted, how long before we are legally divorced?",5.550733590733593,6.117593648648652,5.63662805662806,82.89405405405407,67.46846846846847,7.243758043758044,32.97425997425998,6.5431188927421005,1.957620592020592,898,38,168,5,14,283,108,222,0.093,0.8740000000000001,0.033,-0.9146,4,0,0,0,5,0,42.0,4,1,0,2,7,3,0,1,8,0,14,1,0,2,1,26,24,14,0,3,3,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,10,17,0,0,3,0,6,5,7,3,0,0,6,2,26,0,31,18,2,23,1,2,1,0,29,9,0,4,9,111,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4189167630411532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16151303947358264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16610268308011955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1253667132800057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21358731393023414,0.09597287240628223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1734815153240797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33569403036027806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1676043684562477,0.33594907009228314,0.0,0.0,0.4143967632436653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1463920038609113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821263591608209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657334466100065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21262894132489926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12159617490714646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15158130017484886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271235769703647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2108842092203441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12223044031174955
divorce,Niteandfog,2018/03/07,Divorce due to infidelity using kids as bargaining chips I cheated on my wife and now she's demanding that I either leave my girlfriend or nobody in my family is ever going to see my children again. Surely this is illegal? ,5.7557142857142845,7.285180285714286,7.570000000000004,65.72500000000002,67.57142857142857,10.361904761904762,33.04761904761905,10.504223727775694,4.137704761904763,180,8,27,5,3,63,36,42,0.213,0.725,0.062,-0.7269,0,0,0,0,1,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,2,6,5,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,7,1,5,5,1,7,0,0,1,0,6,2,0,1,4,22,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.388529067019531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4049170196215454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441083990861998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4548039190595093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3422750334673376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4048213058663562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37097084492856414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bcat33,2018/03/08,"Advice Please!!! i need some advice on getting my kids back from their father.  He was granted custody and his divorce from me bc i chose not to fight him, hoping that since im a good, loving mother that he would be fair, and as you can probably tell, that didn't work out the way i planned.  My kids are 17, 14 and 11.  The oldest lives with me, wants nothing to do with his dad bc of past issues.  I get 80 days a year!!!!! and my kids wanna be with me but him and his fiance keep putting them in all kinds of activities and taking some of my only parenting time that i get with them and he seems to think that bc it defaulted that i won't be able to try to get it modified.  All i wanted was a fair parenting plan.  I didn't fight him bc i went through it with my parents when i was 8 and 9 and honestly, it traumatized me. confused me and scared me.  I chose my father ( yes, the judge asked all of us girls who we preferred if given a choice) and bc i hurt my mother she didn't really talk to me and lived in another state and so i never saw her either. She ended up passing away a few years later and now i never have any kind of chance to make it up to her or even tell her that i love her and that i did love her then.  My ex knew about all this as we were together for 17 years and he knew everything about me.  any and all advice is appreciated guys. thanks.",1.6055046136101474,2.9828282629757794,3.3560769896193783,92.4486944925029,77.78892733564014,6.615974625144175,20.34616493656285,7.333567415737692,0.3137299884659739,1044,24,245,13,24,349,154,289,0.049,0.79,0.161,0.9851,3,0,0,0,3,0,31.0,3,1,3,3,7,14,2,2,8,1,18,3,0,1,7,53,41,25,0,8,5,9,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,5,15,25,0,1,5,0,0,3,7,5,0,0,13,1,52,9,34,23,9,27,0,1,1,3,49,7,0,7,15,165,67,1,0.11045848421581198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3238162571317101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502311140991467,0.11582535175293787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10326377194246823,0.0,0.10377938199170733,0.08493575616663422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123658431679558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783343120011358,0.0,0.0,0.07295678706576829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927296320899368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2308399959878085,0.0,0.0,0.09264733589293572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10937126563180356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10971019828003567,0.0,0.0,0.11824809190973636,0.0,0.1193141177241344,0.11528995950615535,0.0,0.0981805760317926,0.0,0.2300510270025159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950737305116097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29907928377577464,0.0,0.0737318959382413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08190356643165317,0.1703847851535723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10598789468686504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08400865469605448,0.0,0.0,0.3679532245241009,0.0,0.1054451218220034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12125024560869248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1190929283114852,0.0,0.0,0.11104128547494728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07076253343978707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11058821233839887,0.0,0.0,0.10055725549953906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09137239958980012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08305103340231698,0.08878234551965257,0.1930911677187788,0.1016953317005352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077733656738269,0.0,0.0,0.0644092304298397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499406009720468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286795611717828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13030255174225766,0.08767680335127899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10239612150425624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041509206330877,0.0,0.0,0.0784665379781759,0.0,0.0,0.21339492693396567
divorce,peskipiksi76,2018/03/08,"He's getting remarried. To the woman he cheated on me with.  And I'm...surprisingly fine.  I mean, I don't want him back--she's certainly welcome to him.  Wouldn't be married to that guy again for all the money in the world.  Mostly I can't help wondering what the hell she's thinking...didn't she see the way he treated me?  But whatever.  Not my business or problem.

But my kids...that was the first place my mind went when I heard the news.  See, he's been living with his parents ever since we separated a little over five years ago now.  (I should clarify - he stays with his parents when he has the kids so that his mom can do all the hard parts of parenting for him; when the kids are with me I assume he's been staying with his girlfriend.)  So I thought that now that they're getting married, the kids would come to stay with him and new wife on his days.  Big change for them, right? So my mind started racing, trying to figure out how to deal with it and best help them.

But no...turns out, he doesn't plan on changing anything.  He's still going to stay with his parents when he has the kids.   That's every single Sunday and Monday night and every other Saturday, he will be away from his wife, living with his Mommy and Daddy, so that neither he nor his new wife have to clean up after the kids or do their laundry or make their lunches.  It's so weird and pathetic I don't know what to think.  And I'm torn about it...on one hand, it's good:  no big changes for the kids to deal with, and at least I know they’re getting their basic needs met.  

On the other hand, I can’t help thinking what an awful example it’s setting for them, of how an adult and a parent should behave.  Also, what man marries a woman who apparently doesn’t want to deal with his kids?  And what kind of woman goes after a married man with kids if she doesn’t want to be involved with said kids? 

Also, I’m not thrilled with the conditions at his parents’ house.  I mean, it’s fine…nobody’s being abused or anything.  But my kids hate going over there.  Their grandparents are loud, abrasive people and they (especially my daughter) find it hard to deal with.  Plus, they still have to share a room over there which is quickly becoming inappropriate (my daughter is 10, my son 8).

I guess this is just a rant/venting.  There’s nothing really for me to do here other than be there for my kids as best I can.  But do you guys think I’m off thinking this is a completely bizarre thing for him to do?",2.7981184668989565,4.4378195150905455,3.7154281788290753,90.01532413996173,75.17706237424548,6.377955538106687,23.79197134023654,7.0180271515732855,0.7404421553712517,1917,58,405,19,41,614,223,497,0.102,0.838,0.06,-0.9372,8,0,0,0,1,0,76.0,1,1,9,4,27,15,3,0,25,1,37,3,2,3,4,79,70,38,0,10,13,13,4,0,1,5,0,3,2,19,25,32,1,0,13,0,1,4,13,5,0,3,8,9,56,10,64,52,9,56,1,0,2,0,89,22,1,9,24,271,81,0,0.0,0.0877300246393374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656355327575748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842590984326702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1218637955329711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06956676935593217,0.05693526060685235,0.0,0.0,0.08177577357773874,0.0,0.0,0.1554092062402024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23498618200141624,0.06378234417352675,0.07763371853196364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775225035804246,0.3053444245169645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06697703129973538,0.12477051617970222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06767486872014951,0.06298178312127163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11605479179109525,0.0,0.08416181580207391,0.062104588828833525,0.0,0.0,0.08156780673175168,0.1466303896660716,0.0,0.0,0.1326577490661637,0.0731031142936341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14889038436659272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543682726463954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0771054251260533,0.08138528491740575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421153363108164,0.13076440577557888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04942494068158056,0.0,0.0,0.16131123151754434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1495266519096744,0.08671943039257846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054902683038085286,0.0,0.14302430081085074,0.0,0.06948527210543719,0.0,0.07104720882603772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05017412632941057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4933025541872094,0.08018242952220761,0.0,0.051332782146249895,0.0,0.07736021383964077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07085010200475507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04743447829782281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06323316595535777,0.07043279380690227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11800695276426998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06124995664620188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05240871976452112,0.3156841811954683,0.11826325785313913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04919153923085656,0.1897776053052132,0.0,0.058782660115192176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05027101127142996,0.08053860275664969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310191974972551,0.05877267564660608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863952387187856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029755254179133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05259872861954834,0.0,0.0,0.04768190424352119
divorce,HopefullyNotDivorced,2018/03/08,"Probably my final post here Hey folks,

It's been months since I first posted here when it felt like my life was crashing down. I spent way too much time on this sub reading posts and trying to make some sense out of it all.

I haven't felt like I needed to come here for a while. I feel a lot better about myself and life. Better than when I was with my ex.

Just want to say that many responded to my original posts recommending therapy. I did get therapy. I should have gotten it years ago.

Going to therapy has been the single best thing that I've ever done for myself. I had a stigma about it for years and felt ashamed that if I went that meant there was something wrong with me.

I have shed the feeling of depression that has loomed over me for years.

Thank you /r/Divorce. I needed you and now I don't. Live moves on. The wheel keeps on turning.",2.1083887283236997,4.098527132947975,2.9505744219653174,93.16667088150291,78.2485549132948,6.17471098265896,19.48302023121387,7.1686216300943375,0.21146271676300588,666,15,145,8,16,210,106,173,0.069,0.8009999999999999,0.13,0.8225,0,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,0,2,0,4,12,9,0,1,6,0,15,2,0,2,2,27,34,8,0,5,2,1,5,2,0,1,2,1,0,0,12,8,0,1,6,1,1,4,2,3,0,1,15,6,23,6,22,18,6,29,0,1,0,0,6,6,0,3,16,101,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10447999842620187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369179422497904,0.20848360456041692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10153005451304836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10151674531117877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206165715263906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661542354861793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191919284640884,0.0,0.3395059605640636,0.1291150836912491,0.0,0.10025570487397972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06157947255222292,0.0,0.06698525945561226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10476361448612248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16650273170681198,0.1151655365773282,0.0,0.1040767427004619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10020440429739892,0.0,0.0,0.07867564271474134,0.11949636730761885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09407852715169472,0.12527158719664966,0.08664416049120055,0.174790452561731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515274380366124,0.0,0.12707814655322164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11789665614751604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373078811136852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09749894767573998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09073805080663502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10851403562618413,0.4043658761515917,0.0,0.07830410945859506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06872788955642832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002243537691743,0.1282030134552712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06951968937757855,0.09355556054890724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092618136063119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886661263463262,0.0,0.2277031237967577
divorce,eastcoaster661,2018/03/08,"Kids of divorced parent meeting new partner - advice? This question goes out to those of you who are separated/divorced and who have introduced a new partner to your kids. This also goes out to children of divorce, who met a parent’s new partner. What was it about the new partner that made you warm up to him or her? How long did it take you to accept that your parents had a new partner?

I’m 51m and have been in a six month relationship with a woman, 48, who is separated but will be filing for divorce within the next month. She has two kids, 12 and 16, has been separated for nearly 2 years, but she and her ex have not yet officially told their kids they will be divorcing, but that is coming. 

My girlfriend and I agreed that her kids need to know about the divorce and process it before I am introduced. We are in no rush. Her kids do know about me as their mom’s friend, and she has mentioned me on several occasions. Her son, 12, has even talked with me on the phone a couple of times. They are aware their mom has been spending time with me but I have not been labelled as a boyfriend. My girlfriend says I would get along very well with her kids and that we are very much alike in terms of sense of humour and interests (movies, sci-if, music, humour). I am looking forward to meeting them when the time is right.

I’m just thinking way ahead here. I have read a lot about how to best introduce myself to her kids, and I plan on just being myself and get to know them on their terms. I am well aware they might react negatively to me at first, and that is ok. I would eventually want to make it clear that I am not there to replace their dad, but that I would be a new adult in their lives who would love and support them. 

I’m especially curious to hear from children of divorce. What was it about parents new partner that helped you accept them? Any dos and don’ts? Any advice would be appreciated.",5.0044035087719285,5.447624089473685,5.303947368421053,85.23679824561407,68.6315789473684,8.122807017543861,28.464912280701753,7.9370924344782425,1.5828596491228069,1494,48,313,17,24,474,174,380,0.006999999999999999,0.846,0.147,0.9952,4,0,0,0,6,0,43.0,2,6,13,4,17,13,0,0,14,1,45,1,0,5,1,57,66,26,0,7,11,9,1,0,9,8,0,2,0,18,24,24,0,0,7,1,1,3,6,0,2,3,11,4,52,13,51,42,5,40,0,0,1,1,86,16,0,4,22,229,76,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16934061824804966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06929146291976825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11784567257518118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373009631771787,0.0,0.0909305342541629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463859795689964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587310293114093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057229434077255364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07370177515282303,0.0,0.0,0.06694314937201591,0.0,0.09053881663448947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09765730892000013,0.0,0.058077564057290074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14285654531679692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0765107651359049,0.07667974479485645,0.0727615401272358,0.0,0.0,0.07366406215120262,0.07820217438801033,0.08198735429959064,0.05783745210962706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0919186261448948,0.0,0.20295951125639264,0.1383213945492401,0.0,0.06369541207509828,0.06424754905348214,0.0,0.5857885436188608,0.09214991897277736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3848443378303316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970643136610861,0.0,0.08667030822411688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0930263013370195,0.0,0.07399594531119122,0.0,0.06890506110315035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788628915081117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832583031700813,0.0,0.0,0.06514765565075094,0.0696434642271285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05551980946742213,0.0,0.0,0.15157344320255028,0.0,0.0,0.08279478823706353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08464139228379992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1429854683693147,0.05110656317903163,0.0687762446689601,0.0,0.0,0.1558118666541715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3077572178750374,0.0,0.0,0.055797737238524256
divorce,LinderaBenzoin,2018/03/08,"Depression turned Divorce I'm completely destroyed. My husband of 3 years, together 10, wants to divorce. He's been in the hospital recently for suicide and depression. He says I'm part of the reason he ended up in the hospital, that our marriage was lonely and he felt invisible. I know we weren't the most intimate lately, but I love him so much ... I want to help him heal and get through this, he just wants to push me away. I'm concerned he is blaming me for the feelings he has, he always blames his depression & unhappiness on someone or something. I want us to get through this, I want a life with him. How do we get past this? Has anyone had a similar situation and made it through, what helped you?",3.8533794466403135,5.5732317028985525,5.036060606060609,81.30136363636366,72.55072463768116,8.786297760210804,32.11067193675889,9.339509955726095,3.023904347826087,557,27,108,13,11,184,90,138,0.188,0.7170000000000001,0.095,-0.9373,0,2,1,0,2,1,22.0,4,1,0,0,4,6,1,0,7,0,8,3,0,3,0,22,25,8,1,5,3,1,2,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,6,7,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,6,3,17,1,17,19,3,11,0,4,0,1,25,5,0,2,5,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12867745267490036,0.1675583454245097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081317362467582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529454722029608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16214287493239338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3995878533562402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697002059970195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07819341641020706,0.0,0.14848394120989272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24238768857813914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731125106890064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08498912794101829,0.0,0.17444687111194376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092306970912916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395736104969416,0.14632932069009394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11368224355632454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16746601718481294,0.14762663775489784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15900134040560862,0.15269378450584425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12298031653137205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1738280325807129,0.0,0.0,0.1310306387400339,0.11905366885831435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16915708790729847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682099072534386,0.0,0.0,0.1860195074747524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560696424881712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958663815790893
divorce,S-MavannahKai,2018/03/08,"My dad left and i'm confused about how i feel My dad left early last year in march. took my mom a long time, and she's still dealing. i personally feel so confused. its like this: Our dad (I have two older brothers) has left 8 times during my siblings and somewhat of my childhood. this last time he left had been the longest he ever stayed with us. before when i thought about the idea of him leaving, it angered me. and i thought, ""I'd never forgive him. i wouldn't want to see him anymore."" 

*but somehow, after all this happened, i don't feel anything. but i had consciously decided i wasn't going to allow myself to, and block any emotion towards it just because i never wanted to hate anyone. and i honestly don't feel like i do... and this is what i'm confused about. i feel bad when my mom is upset about it because i don't feel anything now. whenever i see my dad, i don't focus on the bad he's done. 


**he told me and my middle brother he was leaving. i was trying hard not to cry at the time. (acting like i wasn't upset) even writing this makes me upset. he tells us he loves us still, but to my mom he said horrible things. like, ""I'm done with this family,"" and many other things. to us, he says otherwise. but he doesn't seem to go out of his way for us like with his new girlfriend.


*last august, he started dating a woman, a lied the whole time that he wasn't cheating on my mom. my mom is very oversensitive, so that's we he didn't tell us. (so he said) i feel so confused is all.. she makes me feel like i should hate him. (which i have every right to) but i don't. at first, i didn't want to go anywhere with him, but my mom made me because she said he ""Owes us"" she says that because he never seemed to put effort into spend any time with us growing up. he'd work, come home, and get on video games. he only spent time with us if my mom made if. other people are angry when their dad leaves. 


**i can't tell if i don't care, or am just blocking feelings. the whole situation makes me feel confused to the point where i'm not sure what i feel.. what do you guy think? i do know that i have some anxiety problems. because we didn't really grow up in a good situation. it wasn't BAD, but it wasn't near good. my dad didn't allow anyone to come to the house, he told my mom when they got married that they couldn't have friends, (even though he had friends) and he did so many things to betray her repeatedly. 


*early on, he did hit my mom. and only last year  did i learn that my moms miscarriage (after my brothers were born ) was because he slammed her on the bed. i understand that the worse stuff was in the past, but he acts like my mom was the bad person just because she didn't have a job... even though through the whole marriage he lied, and abused her. she kept all this from us though. sorry for this long post. i just need to get into it deeper to shed more light. so, what is wrong with me? certain thoughts do make me upset.


**he calls us (rarely) and tells us about things he gets to do in life that he never did with us, but is doing with this other womans family. she has three kids, and so does my mom. btw, all of this happened because my dad lost a house because lack of money. he blamed my mom for not having a job. afterwards, he moved us to this tiny infested house, with the intentions of leaving. now his life is better, but he doesn't really help us even though he could. his girlfriend has two jobs, and he has one. 


*we barely get by sometimes.. he does takes us place hardly ever. he doesn't even call to see how we're doing. when i'm with him, i can be happy, but its because i don't think about the bad. i ignore it when the thought occurs. but i don't feel closer to him still. 
i'm gonna end this post here guys. its too long, and i'm sorry. i just needed to talk about this. its my first Reddit post. 
if you actually stuck to the end, (again, sorry.) what do you think? how would you feel? everyone i've ever heard of hates their dad after this kind of crap. am i too forgiving, or am i just blocking, and its been so long that i can't feel it?    (btw, i'm 20)",1.0896004455360708,2.9705020058548044,2.6068361226937817,94.92246015879364,81.04918032786884,5.2899754383960715,19.665219626435142,6.219705907916566,-0.12784178899868606,3139,79,715,24,82,1023,293,854,0.156,0.76,0.084,-0.9958,4,0,0,0,1,0,151.0,20,4,4,6,53,45,6,9,24,0,77,4,1,12,13,146,157,57,0,16,27,24,16,7,4,4,2,6,2,7,50,37,0,5,31,2,4,12,32,24,0,6,45,26,121,21,76,103,11,101,0,1,3,1,142,28,1,16,63,453,171,5,0.0,0.035755394688752634,0.029448880130840613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04104346030587002,0.0,0.02308569963849599,0.0,0.029927964242204213,0.042201609704396285,0.0,0.04966701109983572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259847312085015,0.18395919709485573,0.0,0.025678823968980802,0.0,0.0,0.026689540317976608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06162918904605068,0.0,0.030767965461828424,0.0,0.0,0.05199047645259012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024094272692532198,0.0,0.03314855916802862,0.0,0.03111167031896253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281705518627727,0.06176410573018104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03394561798212787,0.05345660350223995,0.0,0.0,0.09965974798008503,0.08189181066737693,0.025425839499447014,0.02883588790562432,0.0,0.0,0.056897309573630525,0.0,0.2136210615620331,0.043117614231457324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051337920465891126,0.0,0.0,0.046630112654283656,0.0,0.06306597850349449,0.0,0.05145169434460526,0.050622898937656376,0.024135698015702943,0.0,0.0,0.05976092537793664,0.053371715009234384,0.03212450257601262,0.054066212746227416,0.08938208037526968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02022733752506944,0.0,0.03027048612322905,0.0,0.0,0.10446232606318714,0.0,0.03406671651705584,0.0,0.0,0.08983951637845483,0.0,0.0,0.031425215248257365,0.01658476100993608,0.09839473852141496,0.0,0.1278144317184557,0.13115173829853508,0.0,0.04263051169238968,0.1032023917056696,0.0,0.0,0.10682452712870336,0.0,0.0,0.03294229856404255,0.0,0.02723636575012429,0.057109347305592,0.08057484396263116,0.061190482960672324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4594656978272602,0.0,0.032073899376706135,0.0,0.04475245754389088,0.09309897231487757,0.029145610904580926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020449050338770768,0.045902686737602214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028807831838967957,0.020921274029688703,0.05269964598699696,0.031529057359940466,0.0,0.02852748522758317,0.0,0.08670508974238221,0.0,0.0,0.02887578535778164,0.0,0.03033671566660948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03866494966498018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.025771414238717,0.08611711960473273,0.04799670753215778,0.0,0.0,0.07214266477382576,0.05494491270082385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06784153331186574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029846312333638037,0.1013436986452132,0.021359784954083385,0.032165192424266374,0.07229935496599646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03454600972211388,0.0,0.0,0.02844193013102709,0.0,0.022689719191990226,0.024255525867917363,0.1055058364600759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019434202953027,0.058009557235422386,0.1185969350893838,0.09583023471902984,0.12317717244071505,0.0,0.0,0.05767177581124864,0.033528305231929366,0.02048853692680652,0.0,0.05895805163685491,0.031415834605909354,0.5807969370945067,0.0,0.0,0.024899592267964864,0.05339840194479364,0.023953489393141836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10107628010914667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.021969574404640882,0.0,0.030753443626145287,0.02143722527891842,0.03299435138609561,0.0,0.03886663232450417
divorce,namedafternoone,2018/03/08,"Having a bad day. This is my first time posting here, it’s not technically a divorce since we never married, but we were living together for about 4 years. Bought and renovated a house together. Got a puppy, planned a whole life. Then things got hard and after a few rocky months he walked away. 

He (m37) says he loves me (f30) but needs to work on himself, he decided he didn’t want the life we were working towards (doesn’t want kids or to be married) and wants to live his life alone and just focus on his work. It’s been a couple months since he walked out and about a month since he ended it. He wasn’t being a good partner in the end and he wasn’t being great to me, but I was convinced it was all things we could work in together. 

I know I’ll be ok, I am strong and capable and smart. But that doesn’t keep me from having shitty days like today. I’ve cried and cried and miss him like hell and I wish he could just snap out of it and come back to our life. I know he won’t, and our life is not a thing anymore, but he was my best friend, the person I trusted the most in the whole world and I hate that I don’t have that anymore. I hate that he just gave it all up. 

He was an amazing friend for many years before we got together and an amazing partner for a long time as well. Our relationship was pretty great and I literally lived my life with my best friend. There were hard moments of course, but then he just checked out, long before he ended it. I was alone even though we were still together and counted on him for nothing. Yet I believed we could work on it. If only he’d tried. I just feel like he’s wasting so much, like we could have had such an amazing life. 

I know I need to move on with my life and focus on myself and I’m doing it. But it still hurts like hell and I guess I needed to rant. 

",2.2600959860383973,3.5017411701570715,3.3383036649214684,93.80804886561957,75.78010471204189,6.245165794066317,21.633856893542767,6.588339656340683,0.1664217102966834,1405,34,327,11,30,452,171,382,0.124,0.635,0.241,0.9958,0,2,0,0,1,0,40.0,11,0,0,10,18,30,4,0,19,1,36,9,0,0,3,72,60,34,0,12,16,0,3,5,5,1,8,1,0,4,18,34,0,1,5,0,2,4,10,7,1,1,20,4,43,23,35,30,9,46,2,2,0,1,46,16,2,4,30,210,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15108407254616413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467030187709626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06852789256891463,0.056085016716631936,0.060900397194862364,0.0,0.0,0.124130167537505,0.08217643755240313,0.1530883996489732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282984921944289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329410497638969,0.08070479304611426,0.16023849877723212,0.0940782822820794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19380493699987736,0.0,0.0,0.048175030244597614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03687977382406929,0.05210710471820662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06204124336219651,0.0,0.0,0.16905574715164895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06117714866884221,0.17500615927405008,0.16082936964851166,0.0803497122052114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067670183055444,0.1440228548528985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08416095464006014,0.07808191167988514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06483087331545738,0.0,0.0,0.12025487412622475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4121475784855365,0.17816973833841085,0.0,0.19321744923165732,0.12909612279770413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0658296238129841,0.0,0.0,0.07394794355442759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17465586039753145,0.07752182319604939,0.053618010603034935,0.16224837806090753,0.05625447959072738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06998622386561616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055472830473496965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368687185047099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06985468732964126,0.07420442821103497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0783083906509406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05800342876305641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810058374606847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11649717104936515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453708090912331,0.0,0.07166146627208697,0.0,0.08506176734980396,0.0,0.0691369383186064,0.0,0.0,0.04952028808630432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12906261960534302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0655802517494675,0.0,0.0,0.16286591627887725,0.0838753948807512,0.0,0.0,0.2654995955879821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0939396910833451
divorce,ssolitare,2018/03/09,"Divorce over sex? I love my wife, but I'm tired of the sex life. We've been to counselors and haven't found a good one. Sex has been shitty for the last 8 years, and I'm struggling so hard through it all. At this point I've blocked out my wife as a sexually alluring/interesting/approachable person, and I'm almost not attracted physically. Only on those nights where I'm massively horny is when I approach her now, and usually come away empty.

She responds when things get critical over this issue, but quickly settles back into her natural ways. I think I'm just over it.

On almost every other level my wife is fantastic, and is the person that I want/need up to a point.

So I thought about straight up being selfish, and telling her that I want to have sex with someone else. I'll bring her home, and be open about it and everything.

But I know that won't fly with her. So what am I supposed to do? Divorce her? I guess that I have to. I don't want to because I love her, and it's gonna be shit, but it's just sad.",2.9856428571428566,4.2323622666666685,4.250654761904766,87.96455357142858,73.95238095238095,7.5357142857142865,26.934523809523807,8.07648339933343,1.522452380952381,796,29,173,12,16,262,119,210,0.189,0.711,0.1,-0.9674,0,0,0,0,2,0,29.0,0,0,0,0,13,8,1,1,6,0,16,9,1,0,1,33,34,19,0,2,7,3,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,2,15,15,0,1,4,0,0,3,4,4,0,1,4,1,23,4,25,25,1,30,0,1,0,6,19,17,1,3,9,112,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3159041791328726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482002946587265,0.12129099103676262,0.0,0.09615578373998222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587755027372025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317700818893693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1329012934893209,0.0,0.14176498372666538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17295186850905786,0.0,0.0,0.0824117343152663,0.0,0.0,0.1323033748628049,0.0,0.0,0.17376648512255286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14130250464687133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15822434340526595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646377694884535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668882655692445,0.1285777409859364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11141520314704707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2847298897028341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480266784817924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688753229603208,0.11996706032449996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27546194170908384,0.0,0.0,0.298227296434067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16191606473741574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13365112209717928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16490228574747676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13787019831264372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479429584302792,0.10107231256478412,0.0,0.12522656478875838,0.0,0.18129693415223627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17372641645847728,0.0,0.2791143509294979,0.12520529455873086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157827256033762
divorce,cluelessknowitall,2018/03/09,"Step son asking why we are getting divorced. She cheated. Should I tell him? He'll be 12 in a couple months. He's really mad at me because he thinks I just left. Also, his mother has been bad mouthing me. She had an affair, for years. I really would prefer he know the truth, I think he is old enough to understand. 

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divorce,Stuey1980,2018/03/09,"Wife left me for teacher in sons school Hi, I haven't posted on forums like this before, but I am in desperate need of advice and support.

I am 37 years old, have been married for 7 years and been with my wife for (32) for 10 years. We have an amazing 5 year old boy. In October last year, I guessed that she had met somebody else. She confirmed that she had been having an affair with a teacher in my sons school (she is a teaching assistant there). This had been an emotional affair for about 6 months and then turned physical just before I found out.

Our relationship had ups and downs, and we'd been through some very difficult times. She had anger issues and I found it very difficult to communicate with her. Over the last few years, she had been emotionally abusive regularly, physically abusive on occasion and cut my parents off after a perceived problem with my Mum. This contributed to a decline in our relationship. I know I should have been the one to end it, but I was never going to break up our family. She claimed that she did these things because she was trying to get me to show her love, which I do take on board and accept. But it was very difficult to show love to somebody who had done and said the things she had.

She has continued the affair with the guy. We are still living together out of necessity, co-parenting our son. We are at the start of the divorce process and planning to sell our house. After I found out, she started to share what she was doing with the guy/where she was going on Facebook and tagging him. I then had family and friends asking me who he was, guessing it was the guy. This is still going on. I also found out that he has been driving my wife to away weekends in our car. More recently she has made plans to introduce him to our son, and she has lied to me about this.

After I found out she reacted angrily, which I found strange. In the immediate aftermath she said I'd been a bad husband, bad father and that she wanted to find somebody that could be a better parent. I always thought I was a good husband and father, not perfect, but good, always there, always supporting, always doing things with them. The fact that she had an affair with a teacher compounded this for me, as my perception is that teachers are great with kids and essentially she was replacing me with somebody better.

I know life happens, but this behaviour has broken me, and I feel like I'm gradually being phased out of my life. I am just about holding down the job that has supported us for 10 years, trying to rise above it all and keeping a lid on my emotions. But I have been on a rollercoaster emotionally, going from panic to depression to fear and back around again. The only things that our keeping me going are my son (our relationship has improved significantly with all the one to one time) and my family and small network of friends.

My overriding issue is guilt. I was blamed for the affair, and I have come to the conclusion that I created this reality and that she in some ways is justified to have done what she has. I'm not sure what I'm asking for here. I would be grateful for other perspectives and viewpoints. I really still don't know which way is up right now. Thanks in advance for all the support.

TL;DR: wife left me for teacher in sons school.",5.7969339622641485,6.403222655660379,6.1773522012578646,79.09366981132078,66.94025157232704,9.44176100628931,30.99433962264151,9.451951473030183,2.676687547169812,2603,96,497,49,40,839,258,636,0.121,0.753,0.127,0.5174,4,0,0,0,1,0,72.0,14,0,1,7,16,33,2,3,31,0,73,4,0,2,7,94,118,34,0,6,10,17,1,2,2,2,2,2,0,4,39,46,0,3,16,3,1,10,5,12,0,3,44,3,88,21,91,67,7,84,0,1,0,2,87,37,0,4,35,378,127,5,0.0,0.13895614224163788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0573017190183307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04689388735762893,0.1951706314910169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05220147641569104,0.10963980061470824,0.0,0.05509362352087865,0.04509006012465568,0.0979228582566307,0.035746019000331766,0.0,0.09979557901941198,0.0,0.0,0.10372352460579334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05051262966081293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046818769763510536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05050600814575176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.120016880473289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898567374407571,0.2638456189263459,0.05193708155561706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16583995319663447,0.06598560009253918,0.029649830141137375,0.04189198153468539,0.0,0.0,0.0535953268149697,0.0,0.0,0.3857702909220013,0.09060927201525858,0.0,0.030636653419100383,0.0,0.16663054205195754,0.09836785199406282,0.0,0.06465011844341086,0.12919576622885715,0.17418660288038978,0.051854606046596405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06766196619039934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240854595331885,0.058190531925202814,0.10424274242432488,0.0,0.0,0.09668000157743377,0.09559783496189037,0.0,0.0,0.1274237059952105,0.0,0.08283745009847301,0.057296473706431025,0.0,0.05177964284118953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10584865154656127,0.05548599488694237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04680539002800944,0.0,0.0,0.04348035387571822,0.04522630134609397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12306432064990375,0.0,0.11920667520170675,0.044597887417461735,0.0,0.06880067252558072,0.13022417385914548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056160312255884436,0.0,0.0,0.0561099628803299,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03756588545715888,0.0,0.057899308945078075,0.1888702321632104,0.0,0.05007770623001703,0.11155894866031332,0.0,0.0,0.17803853567187286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08301050351051101,0.0,0.1404884429340941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661730733882757,0.05526691738851005,0.0,0.04408951257440316,0.0,0.0,0.053987258461298815,0.0,0.0,0.15582958173211425,0.0,0.0,0.04655311402161592,0.06838618277481479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962457347506065,0.06378280176372869,0.0,0.0,0.0705359485845982,0.0,0.0,0.14515087786324266,0.03458702293135351,0.093090413580136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041655729870330005,0.0,0.0,0.2643328465344342
divorce,Mickeyrox16,2018/03/09,"My first birthday alone Im turning 23, she turned 21 when all this happened. We were dating 2 years when I proposed on our anniversary. We got married later that year. 3 days before our 1 year anniversary I got a call from one of my coworkers that she was at the bar making out with her coworker who happened to be my closest friend, who is 28. Like, he was almost a groomsmen, we talked about making him our future children's godfather, we took him everywhere with us, my mistake I guess.
That whole month was a nightmare. I couldn't move out because I couldn't afford anything and my car broke down that day. I convinced her to go to some therapy with me, but when the Dr suggested she stop seeing her new boyfriend until she was divorced, she ditched the sessions. The rest of the month consisted of me doing anything and everything I could to save our marriage and her going out all day and not coming home until 3am. One time, she had told me she would be coming home around 11pm but when she didn't show, I went to his apartment and her car was there. The next day she came home with a travel bag and there were condoms in it. 
I decided to try one last time. I asked her to come home. I was waiting for her with our vows. I read them to her and tried to reason, but she started insulting me, telling me how great her boyfriend was, how happy she was, and how stupid I was.
I left the next morning.
Moved in with my family and I've been there ever since. The thing that sucks is I still want her back. I drove to our old place to help her pack up her stuff... i paid for the entire months rent and other bills because she was freaking out about affording it... I said nothing when she took me off our Costco membership without even telling me... and she didn't care. Told me I was treating her like trash.
She moved Texas last month, and is still seeing that guy. We're not even divorced...  
Anyways, it's my birthday next week and I'm really not feeling it. I hate the idea of celebrating me being alive without her...especially when I'm still at the point where I don't want to be alive. I feel bad because my family wants to do something but all I want to do is work and act like it isn't my birthday. The thing i would love is for her to come back, but that's not happening and even if it did, that would be bad for me. The whole situation sucks and I just hate my life at this point. I have good days, but mostly bad days",2.994873875279556,4.459670087221099,3.677119675456392,91.21450096218858,74.29411764705883,6.7602642117855085,24.608571279970874,7.321109707123232,0.8889040307900347,1895,59,411,21,39,599,221,493,0.09,0.787,0.124,0.9579,3,1,1,0,2,1,60.0,12,0,1,2,27,24,6,0,17,0,40,5,0,6,4,82,84,34,0,12,14,0,2,3,1,3,2,1,5,2,22,36,1,2,5,4,3,18,12,12,0,4,29,5,91,12,50,44,8,82,0,1,2,2,66,21,2,5,46,283,113,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06783470304204862,0.07016118745686674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11149322674775956,0.0603055203334941,0.06333044273191367,0.0,0.0,0.10418017743530897,0.16968741092734846,0.12388628197983337,0.0,0.057644196419116715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917304863362912,0.07747980114139112,0.06906837504087733,0.0,0.0,0.23341795092927814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05408717273586307,0.0,0.0,0.2621312976639342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13423058847048214,0.06127730803832385,0.0,0.0,0.06088292721708101,0.0,0.12772390560967822,0.0,0.06850566525063047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057622054161428876,0.0,0.0,0.0523379765392689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699967305043469,0.056819508813806076,0.10836032980406664,0.07468675792434104,0.07462641329598257,0.06707609594651315,0.17971439970929884,0.07211354922620274,0.0,0.13376412678205732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045406620596774576,0.0,0.2718065048301849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0764734592454732,0.07317392883776241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11043896793691814,0.0,0.0,0.07360283099726207,0.0,0.047848795420148985,0.09928723948223636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06114058879563952,0.0,0.09043778907928582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21628686342693584,0.21599986329177864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06542649000469374,0.21613594561367655,0.0,0.0,0.06500111480028282,0.0,0.07108475086204287,0.0,0.13771297420821402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077688517049878,0.0,0.12807782504282048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06776120635252439,0.0,0.04339781984789702,0.06965095720517915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06443898629652091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1079646000259297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056037605547890605,0.07614582888077745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05215177415244937,0.0,0.0,0.04794875500726233,0.0,0.16229864045447384,0.05663607613013854,0.0,0.0,0.07754938358251012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054449156202330914,0.11842051582296832,0.0,0.07746988046192811,0.0,0.09001071095070763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790028294030588,0.0,0.0,0.12946243865056672,0.1505296515700321,0.09198592960299316,0.14736958847905582,0.0,0.0,0.08148633666484145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15982600936817998,0.0,0.054339247470948426,0.0,0.0,0.06279832304119462,0.0,0.15126499954368336,0.0,0.13060342657704022,0.0,0.04931761920854751,0.0,0.0,0.14436778251428706,0.0,0.0,0.1308725697817986
divorce,am1thrownaway,2018/03/09,"Divorce trail to hell (in 3D) Me: 45M


State: CA

Marriage: over 20 years

Kid: 3, 1 adult no longer at home, 1 teen, 1 nearly teen

Checking: I have automatic deposit and make a lot more than she does. However she is the primary (it’s a credit union) and won’t give me access to log in to the account. I literally can’t see where the money is going and STBX has always lived well beyond our means. STBX threatened me if I open a new account for my deposit but I’ve asked her repeatedly over multiple mediums for access.

Home: Was told it was left to STBX in a trust, but it shows up on her FI-180 as her property, I moved into the office of the house after STBX’s came out, and slept in my car once or twice during the fighting (during a few arguments, she’s told me to leave, despite STBX is the aggressor). I sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor and crumple it up every morning as it’s STBX’s office, I dream of getting a condo when it’s my time.

Car: I own my used early 2000s sedan, STBX has a new truck with payments and is claiming it.

IRS: STBX is asking for me to pay 100% owed back taxes although she has stated in social media she would split the debt with me - she is largely responsible for its existence. My current thought is to tackle it now and try for a compromise.

401K: STBX’s - she is claiming it although we decided to maximize it since I’ve job hopped and it should rightfully be split.

Reasons for the divorce: She came out and wanted a platonic marriage. It’s likely she was cheating before she came out, possibly going back years. STBX has left for a week vacation with the suspected person. While STBX has sworn on our children that she didn’t cheat, she acts guilty. This only is an issue as she has indicated on her forms she may ask for alimony (she has a teaching job at a university where she is tenured and he profile is rising).

Arguments: STBX has told me that she’s changed her mind about alimony, went through our teen’s diary, and when I got home last night and told her I didn’t want to talk, was told “It's on.”

Emotionally: Manipulated. Like most straight people in this situation, one wonders what they did wrong. Some days are better than others, I try to exercise which helps immensely but have lately been working late (in part, to avoid her) and go through anxious cycles (drinking coffee sometimes has a negative effect).

Divorce: STBX used an online service as petitioner which states a final divorce date in July and even has a official sounding case number (doesn’t show up on county record search) but I still haven’t been served papers; it’s been over a month.

Attorney: Will get one as soon as I’m served but wondering what’s taking so long - she says it should be any day now.

Child Support: It appears to be about 25% of my salary and she doesn’t cook (I do) and I’d like to see itemized receipts as this seems excessive.

Overall: I’m deeply concerned about how STBX is going to act when I don’t go along with her terms on the divorce.

Do I have any recourse on the financials, especially the “joint” checking where I have no access?

Thanks for listening.",3.896457394403104,5.4448359458128035,4.809217063200922,83.66151661251443,72.13628899835797,7.67887363309227,27.899975544142823,8.265842613841098,1.8810581769905328,2437,91,476,38,47,792,302,609,0.096,0.8390000000000001,0.065,-0.961,7,1,1,0,7,0,83.0,4,0,1,3,20,15,4,1,33,0,53,6,3,7,0,63,95,38,0,6,7,0,0,3,0,6,1,3,4,5,27,30,2,1,9,6,12,16,11,6,1,3,22,5,60,9,77,64,10,90,1,0,2,0,60,40,1,10,34,307,87,9,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726970022636211,0.0,0.0,0.10995504512675823,0.0,0.0,0.09133208802386776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267381049254535,0.0,0.0,0.12432996930335145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06879332851737034,0.0,0.0,0.07150102813470234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773961861464658,0.0,0.0,0.0855235240972142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427695874051784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074819768106895,0.0,0.0,0.07919753845788471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09093999212699776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533975059841842,0.0,0.06811558549676107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08856198789432508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447658239141136,0.07755410265504549,0.2297310107931343,0.0,0.06465930856475262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418884747505293,0.0,0.2432830450613249,0.0,0.0,0.09328453051736746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0843814064495009,0.16045281438979686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06589964536207994,0.1823938612582792,0.08560341588355172,0.17567713827732204,0.0,0.0,0.11849067395480525,0.0,0.07138781127354679,0.07154547651164596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687317158200143,0.0,0.0,0.05396481277387274,0.0,0.0,0.08806414622983355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08163062680231804,0.0,0.06452988407340524,0.0859256755418461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15616163639115954,0.0,0.07586776327905563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609752183520578,0.10956562804609894,0.061486433576248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08754749600605499,0.0,0.056047896861042536,0.07059092860934649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114083943102536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08312235191427121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06904137698139533,0.0,0.06429136460844949,0.0,0.0,0.12884634810117945,0.0735984528409856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06687600222152466,0.09087341565725407,0.16180721285234592,0.0824115217047019,0.0,0.0,0.07995799075067596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456309790222288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09174219870258972,0.0,0.0,0.06078554486089335,0.0649803262567184,0.0,0.07443141757527916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06418207495489701,0.047141498490245314,0.0,0.0,0.3862553659345821,0.0,0.10977719644393953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964862741183748,0.0,0.0,0.0953692119163554,0.0,0.06484915975714665,0.0,0.07268956277674976,0.0749443297969223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17534638704110245,0.0588562837313323,0.0,0.0,0.05743012541754041,0.08839155784015122,0.0,0.10412334338571276
divorce,1lionbridge,2018/03/09,"Formula for spousal support? Wisconsin, 25 year marriage, kids 18+, husband makes approx 160k and I work part time and make 35k.   

I was SAHM for 10 years before going back to work.    What can I expect financially?  For how long?  

Of course I will speak to a lawyer, but right now I’m just trying to get sense of what my monthly budget would look like.  

Anyone else have a comparable situation that you can share?  I’m so overwhelmed with the what-ifs.   

Should we sell the house I’m in before or after the divorce?  Also, we have been living apart for the past 5 years — does that complicate things?

Thank you in advance for any help and advice. ",2.4088180112570363,4.926114772357728,3.161788617886181,89.24617260787994,80.13821138211381,5.7358348968105055,20.843652282676672,7.010146845296331,0.5217659787367106,499,14,98,6,13,157,91,123,0.0,0.858,0.142,0.9468,0,0,0,0,1,0,18.0,2,2,0,3,6,5,0,1,6,0,9,0,0,3,0,15,19,8,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,3,0,1,0,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,2,9,4,14,14,1,16,0,1,1,0,11,4,0,1,11,55,14,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794262471510292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683668076713075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12486435323025195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12838773002434514,0.1881350503606032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411884392053431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31248532386941136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16068253958640588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15338659563166904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09593114905501253,0.0,0.10435251623624144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12307312291973492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2118668144060304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897049113731111,0.0,0.16213522304353975,0.16249331062304914,0.1541901785528565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451285954703849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14655957313391246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19883692381958493,0.1752810929552225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15680602691708612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20639071647482884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20836388710884904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690478286800563,0.0,0.0,0.12198550726010295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10706726030631067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12466238923007893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673475070898979,0.0,0.0,0.13043467824376054,0.0,0.0,0.35472571303227585
divorce,yolocaptain,2018/03/09,Why today is the best day in 9 years. Alimony has officially ended.  Drinks?  I'm buying!,-0.4649999999999999,0.7568870588235299,3.420441176470587,78.10948529411766,119.58823529411764,6.405882352941178,16.014705882352942,7.1686216300943375,1.329717647058824,68,2,12,2,4,25,17,17,0.0,0.757,0.243,0.6696,0,0,1,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,4,5,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4520768825872046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778173700343255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4220002599483679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.381543090788555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083289343721227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3887118171389539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27740810403362604
divorce,throwaway_3775,2018/03/10,"Wife possibly heading to prison? Long story short my wife is looking at possibly going to prison. Nothing violent or drug related, she is horrible with money and credit, but, she has had problems before, this will be her 3rd charge for checks. She may also be charged with stealing and using a cc.

She was put on probation for her first round of bad checks. Tether for her second. I don't think the courts will grant her another chance. The person whos cc she used, is undecided about pressing charges. It is a family member. Her family member, not mine.

We have had issues in the past, all money related. I have been on the fence for some time. This will be my last straw. I have kept her out of jail before. I can't do it again!!

I feel I have went above and beyond being a good husband. 

If she she goes to prison. I'm done.

I would have been out a long time ago, but, the thought of being a part time parent wasn't something I wanted to deal with. 

So, what might I be looking at in terms of alimony, we have been married 13 years? Child support when she gets out, if any? Possessions, again, when she gets out? What do I do with her stuff while she is in? 

If she doesn't get the fraud charges, I would guess she would get 1 year in county jail, but, up to 2 years in state prison. If her family member files charges, she would be looking the year or 2 for this bad check on top of the fraud charge, which could get her another 4 years. She may do, what I would consider serious time, up to 6 years. 

I am really getting worked up over this! Sorry for ranting!

",2.0992993279718,4.094369594249205,3.209086702655064,91.27872204472843,78.29712460063898,6.617560868128238,21.3362344386912,7.6298220110432995,0.7144311777018837,1205,33,258,18,29,387,154,313,0.152,0.767,0.081,-0.9743,1,0,2,0,0,0,50.0,2,0,0,3,8,9,1,0,13,0,47,2,1,2,1,44,69,17,0,12,10,4,3,0,0,11,1,0,0,2,11,13,0,2,3,0,6,3,5,6,0,2,11,6,41,3,41,39,4,47,0,0,4,0,33,21,0,11,22,178,52,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08604578991556701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762602458466088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06601023193224499,0.2035705686852446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209707982745966,0.0,0.0,0.16519709725325352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07750167830977639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007385138823403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09933526349760163,0.0,0.0,0.11256919414356703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2745239733652969,0.0,0.04908099057589675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08256682091660658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.304287199740875,0.0,0.055166535694662636,0.0814168511878463,0.0,0.0,0.10693242009380786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09962077319556202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131479104172704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912417060242702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718059773534641,0.24454047575563095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10297484325267756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931402998938428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778360988090097,0.1051162410926176,0.09266332063543964,0.0,0.08475688522420584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21886136984095145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0928819000390316,0.0,0.09758113094226904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06218487125630812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07472843965029903,0.0,0.10866077084449764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11112075332323708,0.0,0.11015272300330868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062197879984783176,0.0,0.07706192378496808,0.22640680073477695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767285709988294,0.0,0.0,0.057253796681513376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998391271993747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706673702020026,0.0,0.0,0.3447750755174039,0.0,0.0,0.3750554258894511
divorce,SadDad147,2018/03/10,"Is this the right subreddit? I'm 28 and a father of 2 boys (aged 9 and 22 months). I recently separated from my fiancé after a 10 year long relationship (she was caught cheating). I just moved out of our place a few days ago. If I'm going to ask for advice about visitation, child support, legal matters, awkward holidays, etc. should I post in here, or is there another more appropriate subreddit? Correct me if I'm wrong, but r/relationships and r/breakups seem like they'd be more geared towards younger people who aren't necessarily parents. Thanks.",5.0364320388349535,6.9047930679611635,6.157463592233013,73.84842839805826,69.77669902912622,9.421844660194175,32.29247572815534,9.827888789773867,3.3863407766990288,438,20,78,11,8,146,86,103,0.067,0.833,0.1,0.2734,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,0,1,0,4,6,1,1,4,0,7,0,0,0,1,13,16,7,0,3,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,4,0,0,1,1,0,4,1,3,0,0,2,0,8,3,10,11,4,18,0,0,0,0,11,5,0,4,9,44,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2033294695059661,0.1844468289257515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21818583973399172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19452298183756964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13419181322319712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23205975437549498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1182543920124898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10165542851833403,0.0,0.0,0.1841407217275304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16608428660526842,0.22115186984079446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2310437857820841,0.0,0.0,0.14425370662843492,0.0,0.217395144493484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992793007592924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20544995812078032,0.4467915305057338,0.0,0.17769577625703842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18942458538189572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361221911662787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.191568434788244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22749845341594385,0.0,0.1339941288713595
divorce,mattjackson4prez,2018/03/10,"It gets better. Looking back my engagement even never should have happened.  I didn’t know myself let alone her.  My best man warned me and yet he still stood beside me.

I had an idea in my heard what my life and marriage was supposed to be and it wasn’t that relationship.

Nonetheless we made it 10 years and two kids down the road before I acknowledged that my marriage had been DOA.

Even then it took one more years to let her come to the table - she refused to talk about it but refused to see a counselor anymore.  And another to fill out the paperwork and find a lawyer.  I couldn’t let go of the idea of being married.  I didn’t even want the picket fence, I just wanted my kids to have their parents and have a golden anniversary some day.  

Just not with her.

Divorce was finalized in 2015, and while I put myself out there fairly soon, I had a lot of self examination to do before I was a decent date.  Until I re-evaluated and understood what I wanted out of a date and future relationship, I was rambley and conversation was stilted.

Three years later I finally have a decent idea what I want for now and for the the future.  Until very recently, I seriously wondered if I’d ever be open to love again.

Turns out I am.

And having spent ten years with the wrong woman, I’m in no rush to find the right one.

It will be nice when I do, but until then I just wanted you to know:

it gets better.",4.307421052631579,5.122906614285714,5.413082706766918,82.50139097744363,70.35714285714286,8.32330827067669,25.808270676691734,8.532816995589336,1.6071428571428563,1092,31,222,17,19,362,149,280,0.071,0.846,0.083,0.6615,1,1,0,0,1,0,28.0,1,1,1,3,16,8,0,0,17,0,30,2,0,1,2,55,54,23,0,8,7,1,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,5,12,22,0,3,11,0,1,6,7,2,0,5,18,3,35,6,31,26,4,45,0,0,2,1,25,11,0,4,28,171,47,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11003587534574592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11140521965353073,0.0,0.0,0.10536466905679637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08169443415433103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18081021264011776,0.0,0.11149564462201696,0.1879268873835378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151907729506273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06851805069505065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2105178209762258,0.09610302324163364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327683833318399,0.1942086519894091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101533502223816,0.0,0.06038043776446653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09395047794482828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3598067963416133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1167769274953714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3259224963137141,0.07504268783267741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892174986842278,0.0,0.0,0.0903241376770933,0.09588860239029576,0.10052984944458364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08194127679466295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14398623334573074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11797045920128225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068037231204276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104902305943223,0.2281307927957796,0.0,0.09073108048421122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08466204536168959,0.0,0.11083478951923112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484592701062614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539422979755101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11804006300621354,0.0,0.11556205257788997,0.10378413226968633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876617359514079,0.31332485027168416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11521617797055984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11616022013408996,0.0,0.2736684539637737
divorce,Losttexan81,2018/03/10,"Finally finished. After many years and lots of pain, I have made the decision it is done. I haven’t told her yet. Not until after I talk to the lawyer on Monday. I will be filing. ",-0.1629729729729732,2.131170000000001,2.2851891891891896,91.85913513513515,92.24324324324324,5.122162162162162,15.508108108108113,6.742157984588678,-0.10312540540540473,138,3,29,2,5,47,31,37,0.096,0.904,0.0,-0.5106,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,1,0,1,0,5,8,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,5,0,6,3,1,9,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,8,24,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.361824032562976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873177595306823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005918770914731,0.0,0.3345557115231021,0.0,0.3584636584236615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3762225410183964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28418551771168715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3378505078702564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276869627357493
divorce,wtfishappeningggg,2018/03/10,"Super conflicted...marriage might end over me working My husband and I have been married 12 years. I've been a stay at home mom to our nine year old for her entire life. I've hated every second, it's not my cup of tea, but my husband thinks she needs to have one of us constantly available, so I've sucked it up and dealt. 


Now I've been thinking about going back to work lately, I've even turned in a few applications. My husband is extremely against it, he says our child still needs someone who's schedule is open 24/7. If I go back to work, he won't help pick up the slack with her. He keeps insisting it would be a huge mistake, and that during summer breaks, my income would just be going to childcare anyways, so it's pointless to work at all.


I'm so conflicted on what to do. I think if I took it, tensions would build to the point where it ends in divorce. Honestly...he's been such an asshole over this whole situation, I'm not sure if I'm upset by the thought. He's always had a temper, I've forgiven him for *so much* and have constantly put myself on the back burner to tend to the needs of him and our child. It makes me kind of depressed that he won't let me have this one thing. 

Has anyone been in this situation before? I guess I'm just venting and maybe looking for some insight. ",3.2100751879699274,4.432966736842103,4.2360977443609045,88.38061278195492,73.36090225563909,6.974135338345865,26.08195488721805,7.365786028017652,1.1514291729323312,1016,34,216,11,20,330,149,266,0.117,0.85,0.033,-0.9725,1,0,0,0,1,0,35.0,4,0,0,5,16,10,3,2,10,0,23,2,0,2,2,37,46,14,0,10,8,4,0,0,0,6,1,1,1,2,16,8,1,2,5,0,0,5,4,7,0,4,8,2,23,3,32,29,5,37,0,1,1,0,24,15,1,6,15,140,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09496124768786154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979894204612152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632655334491804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971120770068536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24665743627804204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09829580429419547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20216197603540048,0.0,0.0,0.07537856976640794,0.0,0.0961553413200254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19457981835001906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12572169350844414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267493509984755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649566669217392,0.0,0.11447680715382025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10143965623715152,0.0,0.11884375728546433,0.0,0.0,0.1287381137228949,0.0,0.0,0.11670067414197492,0.08060995198444118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09583636317962296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761794081883028,0.0,0.11465402910924173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106872425720852,0.0,0.1336619689296931,0.0,0.0,0.08389509944168855,0.25386700585459704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11975512243307787,0.0,0.1546682787042409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10788513311900284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11472727378440498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0907568813036132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25656284786263195,0.0,0.0,0.09669784940122728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12164220010304455,0.09114047350824947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10756158118628506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07581966300416597,0.21938031882553585,0.0,0.0906026026042018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679721483840398,0.0,0.12413536586399765,0.0,0.0,0.1372784754195683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274166281833732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33233780549584324,0.0,0.0,0.2432136465378272,0.0,0.0,0.14698567955657513
divorce,throaway742,2018/03/10,"Dating before divorce is final I was curious about dating after divorce. 

I (36m) and my STBXW (35F) had been married for 15 years and together for 18 years. 

She admitted to a year long affair in Sept 17'. She cut it off and we tried to work things out. I ended moving out in early Dec. About that time she got physically violent with me which was fairly common. But, this was my last straw. I already knew I didn't want to be with her but I was giving it a last ditch effort. AFter that, I was done. She had gotten high on Xanax and drank a lot. She was upset cause she that I had been dating.....(I had not)

The next day she said we were done. I agreed. The day after that she changed her mind. 

This was not the first time she had cheated on me. We had issues with that in the past. Not physical but she was texting and sending pictures. So it was bad enough. 

All that being said. Towards the end of Dec I was getting very lonely and bored. I wanted someone to talk to. And as silly as it seems to me, I got on Tinder. I talked to a few girls but no one really tripped my trigger. No one could hold a conversation, or at least that is what it seemed like. 

Then I met someone on there that did. We have a very odd amount of things in common and really enjoy each others company. 

So, I can't help but wonder if I was jumping the gun with dating. My marriage was on the rocks for a long time. I wasn't looking to date. I just wanted some company. But I ended up here anyway. 

Maybe I am just trying to vent. Maybe I am just getting things off my chest. I don't know. I still feel lost. My STBXW and I have two kids together (5F, 10M). The entire time I was married, I dedicated almost all my free time to my family. I left that home with no friends and my kids only half the time. ",0.029349593495936688,2.2619866775067763,2.1261571815718163,94.42419512195124,88.72899728997291,4.797615176151762,16.872086720867213,6.31551763322596,-0.31244238482384823,1360,32,301,14,45,454,183,369,0.121,0.8,0.079,-0.9436,0,2,0,1,2,0,57.0,4,0,0,4,11,13,3,1,16,0,38,3,1,2,2,56,60,23,0,5,14,0,1,1,1,0,1,2,1,3,22,22,1,1,7,1,1,4,10,8,0,5,36,4,55,6,43,21,9,56,0,2,1,0,34,18,0,8,35,221,77,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111155064190633,0.0,0.11142806408570756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430963540219842,0.0,0.0,0.08592201077125099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10372880535457647,0.10681781674251624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08062006111782917,0.0,0.0,0.13024062311265758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066642991219481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26830077191982804,0.10433383087861296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0951899365007158,0.0,0.05105582932199873,0.0,0.0,0.11061282019314148,0.0,0.08588900645474144,0.0,0.0,0.07801278295660648,0.0,0.10551019958745812,0.09686410858865424,0.0,0.0,0.16151734264637338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06768119579004714,0.10668528738927296,0.10128583138670584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539132602104928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055493040329872616,0.1646156730791864,0.0,0.0,0.10970927917461676,0.0,0.0,0.049331125480028035,0.0,0.0,0.1787188186981162,0.08479329536753648,0.0,0.11022578508535066,0.08584505727939408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20288526469053575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019556364917237,0.0,0.0,0.10732009888966676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10738771174840038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13684610522601373,0.07679578996806674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963917522295486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12937392403941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1921000766287724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18384710244551775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17111102787396246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08063850540360766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16231923684691002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20124926071316987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35327486792813223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711035152067474,0.0,0.09863758468676637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16662936259325498,0.17867243735968685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950272708669236,0.07351076555980908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950731391707603
divorce,BlueSparklesXx,2018/03/10,"Morning anxiety For the past full year, since we started taking active steps to separate, I’ve woken up with morning anxiety. The actual separation five months ago caused so much anxiety and stress that I’d wake up in the middle of the night panicking and vomiting, with more anxiety in the morning. Couldn’t eat, lost 15 pounds and became underweight, cried all the time. After about three months I finally got on some meds, and things are overall better, but there still hasn’t been a single day that I’ve woken up peacefully...feels like there’s a crushing weight on my chest every AM. It’s worse when STBX and I have been in touch. I am moderately successful at breathing through it. I’ll finally have a new home, new job next month so hopefully the routine will help normalize things. Did anyone else experience this kind of anxiety and can you please tell me that it got better? Things are better overall and am relieved to be moving forward but the mornings are overwhelming. Thank you ",6.759426229508198,7.931182825136613,6.606680327868855,74.85788934426232,65.01092896174863,10.471584699453553,32.73633879781421,10.504223727775694,3.609499453551913,799,32,137,20,12,252,121,183,0.108,0.7090000000000001,0.184,0.9708,1,0,0,0,0,0,20.0,1,2,0,5,7,12,0,2,11,0,16,6,3,1,1,18,25,12,0,3,2,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,10,10,2,0,0,0,0,3,2,3,0,2,8,2,8,9,19,14,6,32,0,2,0,0,5,12,0,2,20,87,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.11259201188425386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10227538783216576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4413182023400189,0.0,0.0,0.08067478491985014,0.11821810947859893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30612665343968554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185247013277854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267370083755383,0.07440908483619849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11806021226899124,0.0963832806283471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09721070581868516,0.0,0.0,0.11286155001057847,0.0,0.0,0.058338442255715266,0.08242586666113644,0.0,0.2527813066312867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845562062628572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07733525407047195,0.0,0.11573326110147945,0.11459610998348535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449458463634815,0.0,0.0,0.12014814121884335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056367726338861786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12594841144852198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281586375583731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2762801874824348,0.12262825763668107,0.08481590018293507,0.0,0.0,0.2228650430687018,0.12270551480608476,0.10827417489632553,0.1130456691933872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014108958852556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12665008995637572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0954416427734516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816649444973857,0.0,0.09214079672286447,0.0,0.13216478914421148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674968696821625,0.0,0.10084521329667218,0.10622430365693956,0.0,0.0,0.2299554924683579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727767673383847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1404989807705426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757975430143608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07429946926909822
divorce,iAmSuchAMess,2018/03/10,"Well I was just completely broken.... 
Let's see, here's some high level info.

I'm 35, she's 37, together for a little over 17 years, married for 11. Things were never ""perfect"" but never really super ""bad"" so to speak.

----

Another huge fight.... This time it was actually something serious, and not one of us just being in a grumpy mood.

You see, I went to go give her a kiss goodnight as she fell asleep in the bedroom before me to (very oddly) find her phone screen on and in her hand, and a series of messages that looked like they started within the last few hours... As in, she's been covering her tracks.

These messages started with ""I love you"" and ""I love you too"", then a message about HIS wife and how things weren't going so swell, but now they were talking again tonight it was ""so much better.""

She woke up immediately and started clawing at me - i have serious scratches on my arms that are going to be difficult to explain at work come Monday morning.... fuck... The entire time I tried holding her off I never tried to hurt her, but hold her back so I could read it. I tried to find more, but clearly she's been covering herself...

WTF? This isn't exactly out of nowhere, anyone would be a fool to consider themselves completely innocent in a situation like this... However, I certainly don't think I deserve this.

Her current claims are that she's not happy (oh, of course) and that I don't do enough around the house. Yes yes, the cliche stupid ol argument about how I make the money, and she takes care of the house. But really this time it felt like just grasping at straws to throw something at me - she was caught LITERALLY red handed and she knew it, but like every other argument she refuses to acknowledge her wrongdoing and put the blame on me how I reacted to certain situations. Again, I'm not innocent, but I'm not THAT guilty either.

I work - A LOT. most days are around 15+hr days. I'm at a small start up trying to do big things, and it requires a lot of my attention and is very stressful. Soooo ok maybe I come home in a bad mood half the time because I'm tired. Oh.. why am I tired? Is it because the long work days? As it turns out, no... Our house backs to a highway with a train, and there's constant construction going on with the road and a new sound wall which starts around midnight-ish, ends around 5am-ish... But wait, there's more - the neighborhood we live in is super old, and everyone is redoing sidewalks, driveways, and foundation repairs.... LOTS of jackhammering and VERY loud.  And the house itself is needing lots of repairs, it leaks anytime it rains, and for a few months we couldn't get a plumber to fix our leak and thus had no running water, no working appliances, etc.. It felt like a third world country at times.

Not to mention she snores like a chainsaw.

She wants to be heard she's sexy.  It's hard to tell someone that who's completely given up and has never had a goal to save her life. She ""works from home"" (I'll get into that in a bit) and literally never leaves the couch with her laptop desk on her lap... Literally in the last year she's gained at least 60lbs. I still love her, but I'm not going to lie to her and tell her she's hot - I'm sorry but I can see your gut hanging over your panties that are 3x too small. But I love her, still. It's not about the looks.

About a year back she started playing this stupid facebook game and has ""made friends"" with some of the people playing it... At first I was just annoyed by how much she was on the phone... Then I started taking a few days here n there to focus on work and work at the house - only to see her on the phone about 80% of the work day (keep in mind she's somewhat important at her work as well). She, of course, doesn't see a problem with this.

NOW all I can think of anytime she's been on the phone in the past year or more she's been talking to guys and trading pics like I saw. She put blame all on me, and when I immediately saw it for what it was (mid-life crisis type crap - bored with life) she just ignored me completely and laid down to go to bed. No matter what I say or do, even telling her to just open up to me and tell me what she's done and what she wants, yields no response and she has fully fallen asleep just completely ignoring me.

My chest hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts... It's now 6am and I have zero intentions on sleeping, and I feel like shit.

I feel like this time it's actually over. To the point where even though I've tried fighting for our marriage throughout this evening, I'm also kinda over it and just thoroughly hurt. I'm almost 40, she's the only girl I've ever really been with, and the one I planned on dying with. And now she's cruely taking that away from me. I don't want a new life. I don't want to start over.",3.2717235185950706,4.5716597950052025,4.094577851267943,89.1536917879492,73.31841831425598,7.263672259204881,25.131084914401374,7.761479429416614,1.1327030376462877,3697,115,797,48,73,1185,390,961,0.126,0.747,0.127,0.5770000000000001,2,0,2,0,3,0,175.0,6,5,2,18,53,55,8,1,50,3,52,24,12,9,13,153,121,66,1,9,29,1,9,9,1,1,5,5,6,2,49,57,1,9,14,4,2,17,25,24,2,6,29,25,110,29,120,84,23,141,0,5,11,6,96,66,3,12,67,521,159,16,0.0,0.0,0.08925537654619528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04579384138353334,0.0,0.0,0.03657174357160878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047953831698309565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03197677253163802,0.0,0.0,0.16284416729835935,0.0,0.0,0.0429665780631543,0.10549490836180754,0.07636836832589616,0.05575542204962079,0.0,0.03891443566668188,0.0,0.0,0.040446104577523435,0.049927335275610114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046626668495618584,0.0,0.0,0.07878787804450835,0.2397448709002125,0.0494198828384298,0.0,0.036513160640130674,0.0,0.0,0.14746629832718836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04746243971660104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04679955986011346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04050484477910852,0.04725322549065315,0.05100310092919316,0.0906163659834304,0.04136707612588039,0.03853105565378742,0.04369874205105994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04624679445292463,0.0653416849283168,0.08781949458084652,0.0,0.08359616399320605,0.03889948787460853,0.0,0.0,0.03533231352820538,0.04227835800609922,0.04778600776646052,0.0438701572303624,0.15594278397901176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0452817210167081,0.0,0.048682404238157034,0.04096675455612209,0.0,0.04693407128868246,0.0,0.0,0.05419246192026202,0.0,0.04831820991415195,0.09174554771390778,0.0,0.04503665983817408,0.26384207158969736,0.2447844540192345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040648569141532934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07455512228201859,0.0,0.04842342552748494,0.0,0.04676391460390439,0.09690527338957444,0.2010804452157785,0.04583532744825338,0.04038206100884063,0.04047124776425882,0.07680647154151585,0.0,0.0,0.1555183324419755,0.16509911887830067,0.04327258180464598,0.030526364695715368,0.0,0.04594378966256256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04617613137191971,0.0,0.036502726012434525,0.0,0.06723634280302877,0.0339095869834489,0.17635610830337484,0.08833621055874798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04798788318932497,0.0,0.06197816962444159,0.06956226469467754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0436562250727794,0.031704706308855815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043231379675409035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043759203808853696,0.0,0.09194628006116984,0.0,0.0,0.04574422524914559,0.0,0.08789098157946618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03636780231308295,0.0,0.0,0.18221181588866625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046943086390208257,0.0,0.10280902999228893,0.045764876556000735,0.0,0.03874844772772172,0.07041322409642542,0.0,0.051193061462064975,0.2589539079994957,0.0,0.07304302826758396,0.0,0.05238567916053395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10315397841330648,0.07351505677119773,0.1598866089173179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09114662632651416,0.05860624525529734,0.04493131000057095,0.0,0.1599996554694769,0.10512406728745896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15524461967295722,0.04974312009137274,0.0,0.0,0.05500978420797185,0.0,0.0,0.11320069594411253,0.107895318970184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223684985967271,0.04239388271100339,0.04126588109478835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29963998029810857,0.0,0.0,0.03248659381739388,0.0,0.0,0.11779924695924665
divorce,Foodntittays,2018/03/10,"When/how to tell you’re dating or in a relationship? So here’s the deal. My father in law just finalized his divorce about 8 months ago. It was a long and nasty process, they were officially separated for four years and living apart. 

This is his second divorce. He has three children from his first marriage, all adults aging from 23-30. His second marriage lasted about ten years, and they had a child together, my wife’s ten year old half sister. 

I am very close with my father in law, and we talk a lot. He has his own issues, but he is a great father. Him and his ten year old have a VERY close relationship. 

Sometimes I think it is a little unhealthy the way she idolizes him. She refers to him as “my dad” when around her siblings and gets very jealous if his attention is not always focused on her when other people are around. 

The divorce was messy as her mother was obviously only interested in his money from the get-go. Part of their marriage agreement was that he HAD to have a child with her which required him to get a reverse vasectomy. She hasn’t worked in 15 years now and lives a life of luxury traveling to Europe, getting plastic surgery, going on cruises etc, all on his dime. He puts up with it largely because he is passive and just wants as little confrontation as possible. 

He has been seeing someone for three years now, someone the older siblings and myself have met multiple times and very much like. She is an independent, outgoing, and kind woman and they enjoy each other very much. My father in law is happy in a way that I’ve never seen him before. 

The ten year old doesn’t know. He is struggling with how to tell her. He wanted to just introduce them, no warning to his daughter.  I suggested that was not a great idea. 

Next week, my father in law, my wife and her three siblings and myself are all going on vacation together. I suggested that he bring up the concept that he is dating when everyone is together so that the ten year old is able to talk to her siblings about it and see that we are happy for her dad so that she sees it as his happiness over it being a thing that was going to take her dad away from her. 

I don’t know how much of this is making sense, but my father in law needs advice because he’s living two different lives and he wants to tell his youngest child so he doesn’t have to keep coming up with excuses as to why he’s not around on a Saturday night. 

Does anyone here have any suggestions or insights as to what has worked for you?

Thanks for taking the time to help. ",5.738373493975908,5.97165452409639,6.1197429718875505,80.7534698795181,67.01204819277109,8.969317269076305,29.45140562248996,8.745826893841286,2.1333111646586347,1995,64,390,29,30,643,217,498,0.055,0.833,0.112,0.9886,1,0,0,0,3,0,47.0,2,1,5,4,22,14,2,1,24,0,40,1,0,4,5,69,65,37,0,5,11,14,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,6,22,30,0,2,7,2,2,8,9,3,0,14,12,4,55,11,65,52,11,71,0,0,4,0,95,27,0,4,35,273,77,3,0.07307414805576118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07140721175168226,0.06477582320963557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080354503034325,0.0,0.0,0.0496929264972274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109514337915885,0.0,0.0,0.19515445316605204,0.0,0.0,0.06865556755224636,0.0,0.0,0.08909064481014264,0.0,0.062180717830134014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06294690812277574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07533623797041616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07634693167867768,0.0,0.0,0.06394767940159046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08149699136085202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982547999109809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004915735894783,0.0,0.06215683300628463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271290533959495,0.0,0.16611888933796745,0.0,0.0,0.16112901241176286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2333663682408586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04898006110484444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824918185390828,0.0,0.07627042531052154,0.0,0.06495166034625086,0.0,0.0760954802472082,0.08031928143475445,0.05956518374206483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051614431831083614,0.035700337622253456,0.14647898723875585,0.25810324605476465,0.06466832152001233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06212502752074476,0.0,0.0,0.04877756125727961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05832708781007025,0.0,0.16115372052066732,0.054183554864178966,0.056359287858935236,0.0,0.07771518546543706,0.06857513777178534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3067161039588861,0.0,0.0,0.055576182443630086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913218132064563,0.0,0.05066041336855726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08238012234036865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345970201116338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15690857555080082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1746919051757982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383097702614605,0.0,0.0722722009282754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639296564643556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098853302959978,0.11746846441537777,0.19161007882256495,0.06727685770832689,0.0,0.0,0.04854721695330615,0.04682296346935566,0.0,0.0,0.08522024675609292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138282456147955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014691254494317,0.12930307742753988,0.11600571481009116,0.05861567380566916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06593805266367585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10639770018699413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3764588441428504
divorce,RepresentativeRoll4,2018/03/11,"I'm Floored. 25 year old male living in  Utah, married 2 years. No kids or house thankfully. I've been struggling with being able to rely on my wife. She doesn't help maintain the apartment, she won't reliably do basic tasks that need done unless she's self-motivated, and she hasn't been able to bring in steady income. I love her to death, because of this I figured she's just been in a funk and have been covering a lot of these things for her (including working a lot of overtime). This was not long after we got married that this started.

(Another note that is important for backstory: My wife owns a service dog for anxiety, which she actually manipulated me into obtaining. This isn't the place to get into details of how this happened, but the deal we made was that her father would take ownership of one of our already two dogs, along with this the dog is predominantly hers and if the dog washes out from service dog work, that we will not get another dog (even if she got rid of the current dog). She recently started going to service dog meetups on a weekly basis as a way to get out of the apartment.)

I've been regularly trying to talk to her about it every month or two. She first starts by trying to make it my fault, after talking through, she'll admit partial fault after I take some of the blame. She then gets very motivated for a day or two before slowing down again. We then agree half the time that we need counseling. We agree that she should be the one to schedule the appointment to as a ""first step"" towards her getting better at accomplishing basic tasks. (I admit I should have done something after the first few attempts, but in my head I felt it was imperative that she be the one to do it.) The other half she'd blatantly refuse counseling and nothing could convince her otherwise.

Finally 1 year ago, depression slammed me. I knew in the back of my mind that this relationship wasn't going anywhere fast, and I talked to family/people close to me about my fears that it might not work out, but I didn't want to admit it so I buried it deep inside. I stopped getting things done, I was still working overtime (still am), but just going through the motions instead of actually completing tasks and helping the team. I stopped caring for myself. I've gained quite a bit of weight and stopped working out/eating healthy. It wasn't until a little over a week ago that I saw where I was heading was a truly dark place that I've seen my brother go to after his second divorce. I absolutely refuse to let myself get to the place my brother got and decided to rip myself out of this. I asked her about another task (turning in a cable box from our old apartment which I asked her to do 2 weeks beforehand, and again the day before) and she said she did it. I found the cable box pretty shortly after, not only did she not do it, she lied about not doing it. It was then that I cracked just a bit. This has been going on for two years. I confronted her (I tried to stay calm) and told her that I could not rely on her and I've lost her trust, but she blew up on me about it. She started literally throwing things around the apartment and saying that it's all my fault that we're in this shitty situation cause I wasn't doing anything. I took a slow deep breath, and repeated myself that I couldn't rely on her, and asked her what she would do in my situation. I stopped her before she got too far into berating me, and told her to give herself a week before giving a proper answer to the question. I then left and finished emptying out the trunk of things from our move that happened 3 months beforehand, and left to go on a walk in the middle of a snow-storm in my pj's...(I was warm, but still had to trudge through the snow.)

Upon leaving I immediately messaged her best friend who lives nearby to reach out to her as she needed the company. I then called my brother, but he didn't answer. I called my mom instead and she answered. I opened up to her and told her everything that just happened (I've been talking to her every once in a while about my feelings on this issue, but it's been a while). She tried giving me some advice, but she's always been a bit of a pessimist on things, so I took it with a grain of salt. I got off the phone with her and my brother called back 5 minutes later. I opened up to him, and he made the point that I've been busting my ass off, and no progress has been made. I've made no progress on my goal of going to school, or hacking away at debt. In fact, I've regressed on a lot of things. I need to work towards those changes and I need to work on myself. He's supportive of whatever decision I make on this marriage, and gave me some sage advice as he's been through two divorces: ""Once you've made your decision, and you know that it's the final decision, you'll either feel at peace, or feel that you didn't do enough and regret it. Knowing what you've been through, I'm gonna bet that you'll feel peace, but you have to make the decision yourself."" Having this come from him, I knew it was the truth and not my mom being pessimistic. After talking for another hour or with my brother so while I roamed the streets in my pj's, I came to the conclusion that before making a permanent decision, I'd go get counseling for myself whether she came or not. After this I went home, my wife was thankfully in bed. Her best friend informed me that she agreed to counseling and included a screenshot from their conversation that she's always wanted counseling and I was supposed to set it up and never did. I went to sleep without uttering a word.

I got the appointment to get counseling set up. (The church I attend offers professional counseling but you have to make an appointment with an authority first [I'd rather not go through this church, but we are desperate and have no money/insurance won't cover it]). After a couple days of not talking to her, she finally spoke to me. We had a good, solid conversation where I laid my feelings on the table for her. I told her that 'I will be going to counseling for myself, not for us. I hope that by us focusing on growing ourselves, there's a chance that our relationship can build. Unfortunately there's no promise and there's a very real chance that even after counseling there won't be any growth between us.' After a short cry, she agreed to the circumstance and agreed to go to counseling just for herself to learn to grow herself. She also accepted that even then, there's a real chance that things will simply not work out and we will have to head separate ways. The appointment happened, but due to miscommunication of where the church building was at, we were late and did not spend enough time talking to the authority to get counseling set up. I have rescheduled the appointment for early this week.

Recently, she claims that her service dog has showed some signs of aggression and has apparently attacked another service dog on one occasion. I've helped her a lot on working out this behavior including bringing in a foster dog for some time to help teach her how to share again. She did excellent, but this past weekend, she supposedly attacked another service dog again. This means that it's time to wash her out. My wife is already trying to manipulate me again and I am having none of it. I'm calling her bluff, refusing to get another dog. We simply don't have the time (let alone finances, however there 'may' be some options out there) to put in the effort of another service dog, nor do we have a big enough place for this dog to live in. She is relentlessly attacking me on this and has told me several times through chat (I am at work today...overtime) that she will not relent on this and if I refuse then she's leaving. I absolutely cannot agree to this as this was the deal that we made. I reached out to her best friend again and had her drag my wife out of our apartment, cause she needs someone to vent about this with. I feel like the bad guy, but I know that it's just our situation. I feel that she has needs that I simply cannot provide anymore. I love her to death, but our relationship just isn't healthy. I'm going insane. I know I've made mistakes, and I feel like I'm blaming myself for all this. I simply can't trust my wife anymore, I have a hard time even believing that she attacked another dog. It's definitely possible, but I just can't trust my wife.

I've lost my faith in her and I know this is an absolutely dangerous predicament to be in if I want to save the marriage. All I know is I absolutely cannot let myself drown. I need to work on myself. I'm broken. Breaking. I don't even know what to do there's so many thoughts swimming in my head. She says she's done through chat, but I don't believe it until I hear it in person. I think she's being emotional and trying to manipulate me for leverage. Giving in now will only worsen my own situation, and I can't do that.

Is it time for me to find an attorney? How am I supposed to pay for courts if I'm literally drowning in debt??? I don't know what the hell to do.",5.498910003040437,5.822503525641025,6.063187595013684,80.64080449984796,67.5340022296544,9.1992216479173,31.08055133272525,9.095868883498916,2.4646447714604234,7151,265,1425,120,110,2325,541,1794,0.105,0.782,0.112,0.959,7,1,1,0,2,0,201.0,23,7,1,34,56,49,8,2,89,0,136,12,7,21,7,265,269,103,4,27,58,15,12,2,3,19,2,5,2,4,113,88,1,8,43,6,6,32,48,19,0,16,81,20,248,30,245,153,27,239,5,4,2,3,206,106,2,28,96,1023,361,29,0.061382918710909576,0.0,0.05990087406937219,0.0,0.0,0.059982677745096837,0.05441225380383797,0.0,0.0,0.031787095832405014,0.06773757718045632,0.02454394895803834,0.051075505650570965,0.0,0.0,0.020871244816695663,0.2896440405464941,0.023478882400704486,0.0,0.06087536127893418,0.0,0.0,0.025256455967723468,0.027321905793602892,0.0860771143646438,0.13966386311904858,0.028835636365511105,0.047199675547238994,0.025626086578691032,0.01870922875525866,0.0,0.1305808568934866,0.06915752935758955,0.09662637924294508,0.027144101684910372,0.100521373793626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12535764605116198,0.0702057064091506,0.03129198829142656,0.06305716621925406,0.032467494455789045,0.02643797462718971,0.03217941120474427,0.0,0.0,0.04900926581710688,0.03395951601592407,0.03371312694206236,0.05938035672955719,0.06328309387603198,0.026434508970217263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12563207507087487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0314050250518581,0.0,0.034523760817393355,0.0,0.09513744557524652,0.0,0.10135709723115438,0.0,0.05171775643751688,0.0,0.02758350467195926,0.0,0.0,0.034536424508499086,0.12414819220231572,0.043851969391960885,0.029468614044782945,0.10086298061165784,0.028051437828218298,0.10442455859604224,0.0,0.033651601034581494,0.07113643609370299,0.0,0.1763852284695051,0.11776817779932452,0.20931196363996027,0.025742539960929168,0.14728058258836238,0.0,0.0,0.030389370066266325,0.10856142459171038,0.0,0.027493519165504587,0.0,0.1259931671397401,0.0,0.034591505280920434,0.0,0.08228735303105633,0.0,0.03078603616215785,0.030483544250090262,0.030224905141432792,0.03541382338198302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0320339096756198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13493778728603326,0.0,0.034621302978825874,0.06499564792106953,0.06669272078339943,0.09415228980282957,0.0,0.02998859351116363,0.03076090520984196,0.08130336271340438,0.02716097572567541,0.0,0.0,0.06700670684498611,0.1043711248281394,0.05540048068574847,0.20328700651401135,0.1024339372142687,0.03111632257140325,0.0,0.033431996747711794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03255878824503323,0.030989624797432513,0.07189093251780879,0.04899526008784383,0.0326201641444718,0.0,0.1820586257760025,0.023671145523379296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029449283004795112,0.0,0.06441104746875959,0.06537080510537042,0.0831893086418696,0.04668447569989928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029298470765795007,0.02127759350194749,0.026798598484409433,0.12826417072925864,0.0,0.02901334944726397,0.034600008946768415,0.0,0.03122424794330675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030853393690187383,0.034381458548554615,0.032644144910932336,0.0,0.06986719992413833,0.0,0.0,0.060608226936532734,0.0988534241692066,0.0,0.0,0.029194606120510738,0.048814160688870366,0.0,0.031061395406534006,0.0,0.0,0.03201788566630824,0.034672613095081226,0.0,0.0,0.13799394494907705,0.0307136243603492,0.0,0.02600477391432673,0.02362778486086761,0.0,0.0,0.08689429159946108,0.03271301204430735,0.07353071726112137,0.1026377371749516,0.0,0.03208537714857945,0.0,0.0,0.03482830436632175,0.0,0.0,0.04615231567211475,0.17268042720667812,0.0,0.05651314449378759,0.0,0.0,0.14273029284776714,0.019665847888162617,0.0,0.024365590458953427,0.1431714941147504,0.0,0.02909191481082315,0.14663502333866418,0.06819868125830647,0.1250249175723023,0.0333834945043206,0.14990548073406396,0.0,0.11075413999467992,0.0,0.0,0.05064733647579631,0.054307853748418566,0.0487229037330349,0.12309418707328035,0.03737392916765354,0.0,0.056902580614160175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029585471591377244,0.0,0.2457812273871659,0.0,0.0,0.04360466429025462,0.0,0.0,0.07905717426356539
divorce,somebodysayblu,2018/03/11,"Thinking about divorce. Need help. Dear Reddit, I've been married almost 5 years now. My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. He plays video games all the time. I make all the money, cook, clean, etc. How do I get out? I dont want to have to pay alimony. Near DC, please help.",-0.5722817460317486,1.5985360178571426,0.9545238095238098,99.30158730158728,99.53571428571428,3.9174603174603178,16.936507936507937,5.82211442006289,-0.4983944444444442,211,6,47,2,9,67,47,56,0.045,0.6990000000000001,0.256,0.9077,0,0,0,0,1,0,14.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,4,2,1,2,2,10,9,2,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,1,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,5,2,6,8,3,7,0,0,0,0,6,4,0,1,3,23,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3104312426331265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3633305915027205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3457442206472212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196795598755684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4155876866414585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2069347545272856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2298692336440094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3402989912591464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3102348933614353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19864253566644102,0.0,0.0,0.1807699112939449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828525241073991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19963692447492998
divorce,ilg2018,2018/03/11,"Infidelity and divorce: For those of you who decided to divorce, why did you divorce rather than stay and work it out? How did you find out and what was your spouse's reaction? Did he/she try to pull out all the stops to keep you to stay? What made you resolve to divorce?",1.3938787878787873,3.742552054545456,2.3595454545454544,94.47265151515153,83.0,5.848484848484849,23.71212121212121,7.1686216300943375,0.8053030303030297,213,8,47,3,6,67,36,55,0.028,0.908,0.063,0.4515,0,0,0,0,4,0,7.0,0,6,0,2,2,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,1,15,6,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,0,6,1,11,1,1,7,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,0,1,33,11,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2954609005271219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2873352620503584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058837960357447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6891208968862711,0.0,0.2702663446298591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21947760729447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29169889638242713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23534279879690626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,OneNightStandKids,2018/03/11,"Sorry, I don't know where else to post about post divorce-child custody. Alright, I had a kid at 19. I was in the Army and miss her beautiful birth. Therefore I was not on the birth certificate although ever since I've paid support, even though it's not court order but In the beginning, I was giving the baby momma over 1k a month, now 4 years later. I always contribute and I visited whenever. This is where it gets complex (sorry) I'm not on my kids birth cert and according to my mother, my kid makes a statement of neglect. I don't think the mother is capable of caring for my daughter. How can I start to get custody ( even visitation, or even communication) so I can have custody? I live in WA and they ( Baby momma, and daughter) live in CA. ",3.258423423423423,4.922344121621625,5.006486486486487,81.13558558558559,74.0,7.636036036036036,27.873873873873876,8.344100000000001,2.0576738738738736,582,23,111,10,12,198,92,148,0.046,0.8370000000000001,0.118,0.8793,0,0,0,0,1,0,24.0,0,0,1,0,11,5,0,0,8,1,11,0,0,3,1,19,24,11,0,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,3,5,0,1,4,0,1,2,5,2,0,0,5,0,17,3,15,19,0,25,0,2,0,0,14,10,0,1,10,75,20,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16122812077463175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19755647656410766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1618659131714714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3839401475662447,0.1752716646688168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20246857920578484,0.185877180771734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10648825493013464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34219634156590195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12933973723992714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546614881283916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3711468897942065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1602845282023582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4338084265199307,0.13714796517601746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2198823875054944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12415687943023915,0.1903732687218808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12477839894008705
divorce,34down,2018/03/11,"What is the appropriate STBX wife's role in my son's life? Here are the basics... My son is turning 7 soon  and my STBX wife has been a part of his life since he was 2. We're physically separating next week, it all being as amicably as one could hope for with a VERY slight chance of reconciliation, and there is a comprehensive agreement in place. Whatever happens, my son is priority numero uno in every way. 

She wants to continue their relationship together, and I'm willing to do so to minimize further disruption in his life. Long story short, my son's life has been nothing but change the last few years and I'm concerned that another major change will have long term impacts.

That all being said, I'm torn, which is why I'm here. On one hand, there's stability and a sense of permanence, at least in relationships as they change. On the other hand, there's moving on from bad situations to a better tomorrow.

Have y'all been in a similar situation, and if so, what would you recommend?",5.323326621022957,6.412850958115188,6.6352879581151845,73.6594804671768,68.21465968586385,10.484252919855015,30.399113975030204,10.560738912317856,3.2623391864679823,787,30,151,22,13,267,119,191,0.046,0.8320000000000001,0.121,0.9273,0,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,0,2,2,1,8,4,0,0,10,0,21,6,2,0,2,15,30,13,0,5,2,6,2,0,0,3,4,1,0,0,7,7,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,5,3,12,3,23,19,7,25,0,0,0,0,18,13,0,2,10,96,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14640037173659814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11657418308267085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12347969986422355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4430881357521054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11147264153203618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11763316238432897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12346266125348475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867096942432308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1138063135978748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3944618548030224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471129212200293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483905463086385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14848403400711035,0.0,0.0,0.13396607000887334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1892158926873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15119137182651626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14586982366215928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997923524026596,0.0,0.0,0.1328075337788359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549244672224725,0.3138702305050786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1518629693353978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11519846888928865,0.08234959671862152,0.11082130474063748,0.1119921628004278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12598243181739818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0991797577562502,0.0,0.0,0.08990863156474822
divorce,emojikween79,2018/03/11,"Anyone have any positive thoughts? I (30F) am so miserable in my marriage. We’ve been so unhappy together and it’s getting worse with name calling, disrespectful comments, just plain nasty to one another. I can’t do this whole lonely while married bs anymore...",4.569782608695653,7.698162500000002,5.184956521739132,74.27526086956524,76.17391304347827,8.897391304347826,37.46086956521739,9.3871,4.577805217391305,209,13,32,6,5,67,44,46,0.305,0.63,0.065,-0.9236,0,2,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,5,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,2,0,3,0,3,5,1,2,0,2,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,20,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24467805711272944,0.3772843222423828,0.0,0.0,0.3568274258335122,0.2515822933190796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673986092996197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18798197051554733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438115046540189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.285643016804258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4017066730888509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3666695146995149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,this_is_a_guise,2018/03/11,"Divorced and want to die My wife asked for a divorce in the fall of 2016. It completed at the start of 2018; we've been living apart for almost a year. We were married for decades.

I want to die. I've tried anti-depressants, therapy, self-help, vigorous exercise... everything helps, but not enough. I just miss her. That's it. I can barely sleep, I wake with nightmares and the desire to be dead.

I don't have a plan, yet, but... I'm not seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I failed at the relationship that mattered most. I'm done.",0.4831108144192271,2.9131851682243024,2.168284379172232,93.12983644859816,89.84112149532709,5.673965287049401,19.792389853137518,7.1686216300943375,0.5552221628838447,411,13,88,7,14,134,74,107,0.145,0.767,0.08800000000000001,-0.8745,0,0,0,0,2,3,27.0,1,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,9,0,7,3,2,0,0,15,15,4,3,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,2,9,1,14,11,2,10,0,2,1,0,8,5,0,2,4,53,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2122220133749536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19813035897220346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22220952713985107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18253906825927613,0.0,0.43990956914858653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21688280603920412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18771126096343088,0.21898522484931887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904732653751068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2841107578115852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871422451711591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2275385805024302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888453669887554,0.0,0.2210941396242588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2120877819187072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15000848931491526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2423658285546885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14388976664652914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500091839185488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13647901447253405
divorce,ddddivorce1,2018/03/11,"The time has come - I'm unsubscribing from this sub. You guys have helped me out tremendously, on this name and a couple of throw aways. As I lay here on the sofa tonight, with the kids in their rooms falling asleep, I've realized I'm done. In 9 days I'll be celebrating the anniversary of my ex wife leaving the family. The divorce was finalized back in November. The kids and I have had some ups and downs, but we're doing well. 

I think it's time for me to move on from the notion of divorce altogether, which is why I'm unsubscribing. It's time for me to heal without reminders in my Reddit feed of divorce. This isn't a bad thing, and I encourage those who still need help to remain here. I love you all for the support you gave me, and give to each other. 

Love,
ddddivorce1",4.036363636363635,5.008934095541406,4.933051534452812,85.11633468442386,71.10191082802547,8.511638679791549,27.011580775911987,8.841846274778883,1.81171847133758,611,20,130,11,11,199,99,157,0.008,0.7979999999999999,0.194,0.9868,0,0,0,0,4,0,19.0,0,3,1,0,5,6,0,0,11,0,10,5,1,0,1,17,21,7,0,1,2,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,10,9,1,0,2,0,0,4,2,1,1,0,4,0,15,5,27,16,3,24,0,0,0,2,21,12,0,1,8,87,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1848433572280269,0.15128063028739444,0.1642693719597186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1694737694169324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2176886568638449,0.0,0.12688078450521206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013329464734739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.185468612350924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2155186464410547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18873057874570406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948031635539738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637408517514212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20831885959885896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3551303918594377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20910308957166665,0.0,0.14587994163797616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1571165214418137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.223257798927246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1307050671294448,0.1260628099309592,0.0,0.0,0.3441613785118657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17689255348163924,0.0,0.1775269138101167,0.0,0.0,0.18964998118319326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cheddarfever,2018/03/12,"When does it stop hurting? I am 29F (together ~9 years, married ~4) just starting this journey. My husband is no longer in love with me, though I am still in love with him. We’ve worked on so many issues, we rarely fight, and we’ve made a lot of individual progress in our goals and emotional health, but the feelings just aren’t there for him anymore. 

I feel like this would almost be easier if there were anger or animosity, or if he had done something terrible, but I’m just...hurt. Empty. Heartbroken. 

Is there anyone else here who didn’t want the marriage to end? How did you get through it, and when did you start to feel okay again?",2.5806533333333306,4.831182312000003,3.198900000000002,90.68128333333335,77.88,6.406666666666666,24.016666666666666,7.492282038375204,0.9673866666666666,499,17,105,7,12,156,93,125,0.185,0.675,0.14,-0.8877,1,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,2,2,0,3,13,8,2,0,3,1,13,3,0,2,0,24,24,14,0,4,8,1,3,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,7,3,11,4,11,15,1,14,0,1,0,2,13,4,0,6,10,67,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18039616980269726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17866234075795373,0.1259664424970875,0.1845869772636512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15765219837798294,0.18435800736848174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15049384995588638,0.2026467125555338,0.15956116883506075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27327073901994603,0.12870059961557975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09412196608528206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19149311424673485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38571280851920736,0.0,0.0,0.18803184625224126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880131501510669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315875813774266,0.3251883635837019,0.17046414494152914,0.0,0.1826458162905473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13868978389550052,0.0,0.0,0.25502497577843897,0.0,0.14386959176349418,0.15061510920447022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17699839068829892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625829638775604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13115277593970018,0.0,0.0,0.1279747869481235,0.0,0.0,0.11601195878673025
divorce,deeztodanut,2018/03/12,"Can't do it anymore. what steps do I take? My marriage is getting to a point where I feel like I'm breaking.  I put in everything and my wife brings nothing to the table.  She has grown cold. I can't do anything outside of work. She is digging us into debt. The sex sucks (when we have it).  Sometimes I wonder if I married a narcissist.  It's getting to the point where I'm contemplating  suicide at work and making it look like an accident so the baby gets life insurance money. 

We have a new house and a baby. My family says I should wait a one year and sell the house,  act like we are moving to a better house then get my own place. Then contact a lawyer. 

What steps should i take? I want to be happy.",1.041471264367818,3.1574711241379347,2.909655172413796,91.41919540229887,82.58620689655173,5.52183908045977,22.080459770114945,6.742157984588678,0.5360252873563218,543,18,116,6,15,181,88,145,0.08900000000000001,0.8009999999999999,0.111,0.2869,1,0,0,0,0,1,18.0,4,0,0,3,4,6,1,0,13,0,14,2,0,1,0,16,30,9,1,4,1,1,1,3,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,8,0,1,2,0,3,7,2,1,0,1,0,4,19,5,9,27,1,21,0,0,1,1,10,8,1,2,8,74,25,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14641505121038234,0.0,0.0,0.1214916910952826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13057187521386526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13268554516174352,0.0,0.13917790110174458,0.0,0.07464910079009515,0.10547105116601434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30853446621005265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15716106353609208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5110557034991543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10427953772685894,0.2163821961341092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12397689619916145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09854804865428032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15691350008814403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14258758392708512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1416605401157009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004184475510104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542479973115195,0.0,0.2791271184833779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1484147649313784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1174059206696822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460155897476049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16148961235184722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22200750913485914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1775876998334351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0870794250267802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16010473670951966,0.21496125399599786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950726203111144
divorce,lonelymarriedfatfuck,2018/03/12,"I need to escape Been married for 15 years, with two kids and I just can’t take it anymore. My wife has never been into me, I think she only married me to escape her family. There’s zero intimacy between us and we haven’t been together in years. So we’re a fraud of a marriage and it’s eating me up inside. She doesn’t respect me at all even though I’m the main provider and a good father. I was thinking of sucking it up for a few more years until the kids got out of the house but I don’t know if I can’t. If I leave she won’t be able to sustain herself. It kills me if we split up the kids because I’m from a broken home myself. So I don’t know what will kill me first: remaining in this travesty of a marriage or losing access to my kids. ",1.506289868667917,2.612605079268296,3.79219512195122,90.343799249531,77.47560975609754,6.265666041275798,22.9812382739212,6.67199483983844,0.5167923076923073,579,17,133,5,13,201,97,164,0.177,0.782,0.041,-0.98,0,0,0,0,0,2,12.0,3,0,0,2,6,6,3,0,10,0,14,1,0,0,2,22,24,13,2,4,6,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,6,9,1,0,4,0,0,0,8,4,0,3,5,0,25,2,22,16,4,14,0,1,0,0,16,8,1,4,6,100,31,0,0.18686619829831147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853210562665684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391190005330493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19121077205672013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1234233615989452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17616082108989028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589482928119021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15673450132589556,0.14945396933124508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1874420330317177,0.0,0.0,0.21561850370021146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4134795237728844,0.0,0.205393551222954,0.0,0.0,0.197864322648887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20905547737344984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855891826519684,0.1441227320633688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421201643192573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050012533501224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2394726290863513,0.1835950910565803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.182541123016861,0.0,0.22477702832472704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610071151654268
divorce,deadbedmilf,2018/03/12,"Change in behavior after filing - anyone else see this? TL/DR: I filed, he had a consult with a lawyer, I found out he's seeing someone, and suddenly he's acting like the perfect husband.

Sorry for the rant.

I think he's just trying to protect his new gf, or get me to agree to his divorce terms, maybe... I cannot figure it out.

I came over here from /r/deadbedrooms, so you can guess one of the issues.  Together 22 years. No emotional intimacy from him, infrequent sex for ten years, untreated low T, untreated ED.  Two rounds of couples' counseling.  A separation period of 10 months where I left the house only on weekends (SAHM) and he actually never went anywhere.  This spiral has been going down for three years this month.

He admitted, finally, to an on and off sexual affair with one co-worker, which I always knew about.  Proof was hard, only had circumstantial evidence and women's intuition; there was a lot of gas lighting. Truthfully, by the time he admitted it, I was completely over it. 

But the week after I filed, and two days before he was served, I found out while he said he was in NJ drinking with a bunch of buddies, he was actually with yet another female from his office.  When I confronted him, he said that they started a relationship as soon as I said I wanted a divorce (first concrete talk was 11/17).  I kind of lost it over that - she and I were always really friendly.  I'm sitting here celibate and he's out starting a new life, waiting for everything to be over.  They have *feelings* for each other. Good. Great.

However, we had two really long talks in the days right after that, hours and hours, unpacking everything, very emotional, and suddenly he's being a model husband.  Tells me he ended it with her (did I mention he is the boss? Now with two relationships with employees under his belt, lovely, so glad he was thinking of sexual harassment lawsuits, etc.).  I don't believe him; that cell phone is still on vibrate, locked, and attached to him like a tattoo.

He's suddenly been doing everything that you do in a partnership, that he hasn't done in years: stopping at the store, fixing what's broken, offering pick up/drop off for our daughter, asking me to watch tv with him, doing the ""oh don't cook, let's order in"" thing - I mean... the last week has been even better than likely the previous five years.  Culminating in us having sex this weekend for the first time in two years.  

I know he consulted a lawyer; a large part of me thinks he found out what he'll have to pay and he's trying to scare me (urging me to get a full time job with benefits, telling me he can't afford my usual car when my lease is up, already complaining he won't make bonus this year, trying to get me to verbally agree to sell the house) - maybe he's afraid I'll have the women subpoenaed in court - infidelity doesn't make that much of a different in my state, but it does make some.

It's such a god damn mind fuck.  I begged and pleaded and worked my ass off to fix this marriage and he watched it go down the toilet, claimed he ""wasn't ready"" to face his issues, cheated on me, lied non-stop, hid money, and now that I had the balls to leave he's acting like this.  It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to get to a place where I let go of the life I thought we would have, accepted that this is who he is and he has no interest in addressing his issues, and I'm ready to move on... and now his behavior has me confused and anxious.

As I type this I just got a text asking me if I want to go out for dinner tonight.

Has anyone else seen some strange about-face or changed behavior after they filed??
",4.3640563380281705,5.452796166197188,5.321239436619717,82.20369014084505,70.43661971830986,8.83492957746479,27.72112676056338,9.174902378510234,2.1999723943661973,2818,96,560,56,50,925,336,710,0.093,0.8390000000000001,0.068,-0.9519,5,0,1,0,2,0,122.0,4,2,3,7,20,28,5,3,39,0,50,11,2,5,4,82,98,33,0,4,7,3,3,4,2,3,2,3,1,2,33,39,3,3,15,6,5,11,11,11,0,12,33,12,65,17,95,58,11,109,0,2,6,5,87,41,3,9,58,352,98,9,0.0,0.0,0.1220490213271373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06900821674464733,0.0,0.1040671872537534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06557272462612697,0.0,0.07064602246385053,0.0,0.08745095127500799,0.1281476751640247,0.0,0.0,0.11692236248731093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05321213099311973,0.07045480476396189,0.0,0.05530655598799565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152264380060461,0.0,0.0,0.13230611355300514,0.0,0.06556608238928352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06919307537460476,0.0,0.08065897242729726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533509215037962,0.0,0.0,0.05472423625470589,0.06399435754451599,0.0,0.06125986169850022,0.0,0.0,0.10447886023283444,0.14068546697382742,0.055386878142172066,0.0,0.06974233703260962,0.041303352292640566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16860554051780455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031619249287326755,0.0,0.0,0.06850333022705804,0.0,0.10638338235603342,0.0,0.20569708052700866,0.04831388824077356,0.057812004359111165,0.13068647977769585,0.0,0.14215886223815302,0.05245085080173451,0.050014437030814665,0.06894434813915576,0.068888643203214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056018499882031794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1231674879383307,0.1443125013574086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19580886185383944,0.06205569901570281,0.0,0.0,0.06511990861798116,0.03436724658482599,0.05097384640316829,0.0,0.06621485364389494,0.06794376065223284,0.1278912314683557,0.08833972985754289,0.12220451023055402,0.0,0.0,0.11068187425010508,0.0,0.0,0.06826363654822258,0.10632894626324108,0.05643969769888401,0.0,0.12522650444006736,0.0,0.12564833136911205,0.06811824614353289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0631418729122639,0.0,0.09982865252457848,0.06646412379145912,0.04596994687753283,0.0,0.04823035038645421,0.12079214119793776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08474979591168229,0.09512039112725668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06771861350505129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06533509215037962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012221933919686,0.0,0.0,0.13427699080223118,0.0,0.053403998251832285,0.17845347803671538,0.0,0.06260779945680202,0.0,0.09966357059484153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298515681760088,0.0,0.0,0.07000209166056515,0.08852427792912393,0.0,0.049940017396123255,0.10456304326149936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052549301710488,0.10931556672988582,0.0,0.07151348588830952,0.0,0.04154504737188497,0.12020847069137365,0.0,0.049645293424751984,0.14585714323978333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06947797033594208,0.12737016836794074,0.0,0.3054348955572477,0.0,0.07522113048870636,0.0,0.06887275823033683,0.051597392740365636,0.0737687666315246,0.0,0.10032257656844493,0.0,0.0,0.057969974418935664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09105151174329583,0.0,0.0,0.04442261222900154,0.0,0.0,0.28189052448582913
divorce,TeenyBopper99,2018/03/12,"What are the chances? Relieved to get the court date for our dissolution hearing.  At this point with 3 kids, I realize that the actual legal termination isn't going to change much, but it's symbolic and a relief right?  Well, until you find out that your STBXH's girlfriend also has her dissolution court date: Same time, same place, same JUDGE as ours.  Seriously? Come on.  At this point it's almost laughable.  Just venting, as I'm sure some of you out there will see the irony(?) in all of this.  ",3.2836052009456265,5.698946202127662,3.923758865248229,85.5338888888889,76.34042553191489,7.1565011820330975,23.21040189125296,8.167268648758528,1.3241834515366433,389,12,76,7,9,123,72,94,0.033,0.81,0.157,0.8994,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,3,0,0,4,5,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,2,16,10,6,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,1,8,5,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,0,2,7,4,15,9,6,16,0,0,1,0,9,10,0,2,4,51,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.2457771371992505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521994679116317,0.0,0.0,0.2014108009003353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2664324340287545,0.2169534190667015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23019370554619065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1315854421491706,0.0,0.14313674050177405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838623399555506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1851446544659753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631380691587585,0.0,0.4761745519407064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21508540851217287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2006982669545515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23737324247872515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468604611316296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2264506443523208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sizzletasticlily,2018/03/12,"13 years, 4 children in the mix. Some questions. I am only 30 and new to this. I am 30 years old. I was married young and my oldest son is 12 from the marriage. We have 4 children total. I cannot care for all my children on my own. It would be too difficult. I've mentally moved on and so has my heart. After years of abuse and being cheated on for years I just gave up and began a relationship with a long time online friend of mine. My ""husband' knows about it and actually is okay with it as he just doesn't care. He doesn't want to go to court, but I cannot support 4 children on my own. He is acting like he wants to pay nothing, and do nothing. He is still living with me but in separate accommodations. How does this work and what do I do to start some sort of proceedings to protect myself when or if this turns ugly? I cannot work and care for 4 children so I am going to need his help obviously. I have thought about letting him even have all the children since I cannot handle them on my own and still survive. I really don't know what to do here.

Advice needed.",1.3646095238095235,3.2062315688888923,3.2730158730158765,90.68,79.97777777777776,5.885714285714287,22.26984126984127,6.868970318607317,0.5150507936507931,833,26,184,9,21,280,122,225,0.107,0.831,0.062,-0.7825,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,1,0,1,3,13,9,1,0,5,1,27,1,1,1,4,37,44,19,0,6,6,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,6,8,14,0,1,4,0,1,4,7,2,0,0,4,0,26,7,30,36,8,29,0,0,0,0,23,8,0,6,18,129,34,3,0.0,0.16282244026239345,0.13410391823772805,0.0,0.0,0.13428705735900734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203322543643871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12025880133282875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076584668302913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10617179307027873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15620002709611952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16284557331276645,0.09211098030135556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1510469277328844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14052316898293152,0.0,0.0671373824633691,0.0,0.12134602569286575,0.12161402732636507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13848891933629665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460576959282879,0.0,0.2037931452992073,0.0,0.13272289487311612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637199741466911,0.0,0.1442011319125896,0.0,0.0,0.1045155218433044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394394080959453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803596648668835,0.0,0.0,0.14753965578703698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367678794231913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972679043254365,0.0,0.21949056000144546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559447054375469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909761172891357,0.08013179539960545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494755289317592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16210995452943308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20008951081248091,0.0,0.0,0.097620551045578,0.0,0.0,0.35398070556595834
divorce,livingmylife456,2018/03/12,"Headed for divorce Hi everybody. I pretty much do not have many people at the moment to vent to,  so I thought I would reach out here.  My Husband and I have been married for 10 years, together for 13. This is my second marriage,  no children together. I am pretty much over this relationship. He cheated on me a year before we got married.  I found out,  dumped him.  He told his mother what he did,  and confessed  that he thinks he lost me forever.  He called me,  cried,  apologized, etc. I forgave him and we were married the next year,.  The first 2 years into the marriage were pretty rocky as I learned he had 2 more affairs  after getting married.  I did not tell anybody.  I was ashamed, felt stupid. ..how did I not see this coming?! My kids dad and I split when they were very young due to drug abuse. I was single mom until my husband came into my life.  The kids are now early teens and need this structure. He was great to them always,  they love him.  I didn't want another failed marriage so I stuck it out for my kids. They are now adults on their own.  Husband and I have had some good years,  the relationship felt strong,  sex was always amazing.  He's never been a great husband though. He does not help around the house.  I work hard,  always have.  He has not been able to keep a job longer than 1.5 years. He's had 7 jobs in 10 years.  

I'm getting older now and my outlook on life is changing.  Over the last 6 months  I'm not feeling happy.  I've been having suspicious feelings that somethings not right.  He got fired from his latest job and I'm pretty sure he's lying about the reason.  I've heard 2 different stories.  He stays home and plays video games while I'm working all day.  I still take care of everything in the house. Cooking,  cleaning,  laundry, dishes, pets,  etc.  He doesn't seem to care. So,  I just recently learned that he now has a lock on his phone and tablet.  All secrecy all of a sudden and we have not had sex in 1.5 year.  He takes advantage of family and friends.  Borrows things and doesn't return for months. Borrows money without paying back.  He's disrespectful with things that belong to others.  He's also a very good liar.  I pretty much see through him but other people don't.  We have many mutual friends and I have a very good relationship with his family.  I feel like i need to get out. I'm done raising kids.  I'm thinking about trying to get copies of text messages on my cell account, i feel like I need more of a reason to leave. I feel a little selfish by wanting to leave also.  He knows he has it made. His friends say I'm a saint for putting up with him.  Obviously they know him.  My biggest concerns are..,.1. Will he be able to get alimony? Is hard enough now spring a household paying mortgage and bills,  can't imagine having to pay him alimony.  2. My dogs.  I take better care of them and can't imagine not having them with me.  Lies he'll tell our friends to get sympathy. He's good at that.  
Sorry this was so long,  I truly appreciate anyone that reads this and can offer any advice.  Where do I start?  How do I get my ducks in a row? I have lost my spark for loving life and I'm not getting any younger. 
Thank you.  ",1.1316666666666677,3.604592417197456,2.3692305732484087,92.99020679405524,85.81528662420382,4.877995753715499,21.112186836518053,6.360717304075467,0.29240986836518035,2450,80,504,24,75,782,286,628,0.079,0.763,0.158,0.9955,5,0,2,0,3,0,96.0,5,1,8,9,23,34,4,1,22,0,53,11,1,5,6,86,112,32,0,6,13,7,10,2,4,3,4,2,3,6,19,35,2,1,21,5,8,3,19,9,0,2,34,14,73,25,62,74,14,67,2,3,2,4,93,25,0,2,40,297,92,12,0.11887050718822002,0.07042105658442996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05807944193438928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950607016516882,0.14836467674758286,0.0,0.0,0.08083602113136984,0.06232304564865111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0415585112514807,0.0,0.0,0.052909976704270285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045702041294613006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057502319531238,0.0,0.0,0.05256565184933843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06069003917931399,0.06797809637943933,0.18179460657360128,0.0,0.06287461746918252,0.051198208214311945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0652868352086286,0.0383308216123507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209718985696262,0.0,0.0,0.05201219094731167,0.0608228999060663,0.0,0.0,0.06892602472500647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061412505007473576,0.1325720375143627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341657352311079,0.0,0.11206053497283444,0.0,0.15026125023368098,0.08492111408671478,0.11413432828552267,0.0,0.0,0.050555596344636605,0.0,0.06516768779789843,0.1836781179651528,0.0,0.2484197352263636,0.0,0.0,0.1994058833129298,0.09507160362591008,0.1310551538247676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326993264497988,0.1064846258935461,0.0,0.06099771725863391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03983819764275607,0.0,0.059618405409258834,0.0,0.0,0.13716060543540706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17694095454622707,0.052828784279388696,0.0,0.0,0.06532812201831692,0.048447664396824484,0.0,0.1258667035660421,0.0,0.0,0.12594263196837224,0.058074125430920914,0.05956973830266552,0.0,0.05259832911243015,0.0,0.0,0.12976120059048665,0.0,0.1072852737518275,0.05623907403505797,0.0,0.12051603682499945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960985067257157,0.09488130474684704,0.0,0.13107525029879624,0.13221146231600653,0.04584013163893695,0.0,0.0632100664755869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240984249162937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3023351013228978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0597488459892763,0.0,0.0,0.05945133761782749,0.0,0.0,0.12221867924450534,0.05868514260176363,0.19143365801205176,0.0,0.050757381820661605,0.0,0.04726529921443769,0.0,0.0,0.0947244040125642,0.05410762264006578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04575616196051459,0.0,0.06653290036272425,0.04206857840548247,0.0633500722191961,0.0474650702959032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05601702312511475,0.0,0.13406374168258794,0.0,0.1038980627121951,0.05471999613129956,0.0,0.0,0.07897228302152039,0.07616742122550126,0.05839483488694794,0.047184952371472695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05679293185100876,0.0,0.04035263575788986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14712092633533388,0.07011290496825505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729346351275149,0.0,0.0865391449739319,0.0,0.0,0.042221098872522365,0.0,0.0,0.3061948372261837
divorce,wiserone29,2018/03/12,"NYS child support is unfair. Rant and cries unheard I have my child 4 days a week and my ex has her 3 days a week. Going through a divorce after 6 years of marriage and since my income, albeit low is more than my ex, so she asks for the full amount of the child support payment as if I don't care for my kid at all. She is claiming to be unemployed and although the judge imputed income to her of 20k I'm still taking a total bath on child support and the alimony was barely reduced. The reason I have to pay her child support is because in NYS unless you have a custody trial the higher income earner pays the lower income earner. Unfair and horse crap but that's not the worst part. I pay 100% of her expenses and child support together and I'm trying to find a peaceful resolution to this but the lawyers are so damn expensive and I don't have any more money. My attorney is threatening to walk off my case as the other side seems to want a trial which can't happen because none of us has the money. 

So, a couple of weeks ago, I learned I need to have surgery for a likely cancerous mass in my esophagus. I potentially need all this treatment and it's literally a life and death struggle. I inform my soon to be ex that I can't pick up our kid for one week and she loses it and flips out. I scramble and arrange for my mom to watch her the week. 

This got me thinking and I got my sister to sit outside her house and she watched her go to a bartending job  on Friday- Monday. The bar is very busy and crowded Friday-Saturday and is located in the upper east side of manhatten. She most certainly earns more money than me now while none of it is taxed. 

I'm fuming. The only reason I'm paying her is because I have a job and she doesn't but I always believed that we would deviate from the guidelines because she would get a job. I scrape up some cash and I convince my attorney to formulate the evidence I had in a way that would flip the tables. 

The result, they lower the alimony by imputing more income to her which is a number high than I earn, the child support stays the same, plus I pay legal fees. 

Now those legal fees are being garnished from check, im terrified that my illness will make me unable to pay her what I have to and I will end up in jail. 

I ask for an explanation from my lawyer and he says that judges screw people over with pretrial motions to force one party to settle.  

I have one final card to play and that is to refuse to see my daughter. The main source of our divorce was that she did not want to be a stay at home mom. I was forced into a single father situation because she would disappear. This went on for about two years. When she returned she lived in the house for a few more months and then filed for divorce and made all these demands. I have been the one that has been taken care of my daughter, but solely based on the earning more money I had to pay her child support. If I threatened her to not pick up my daughter, she will be in a situation she does not want to be in. She will do anything in her power to get our daughter off her hands. I'm literally sitting here wondering what my daughters life is going to be like if I fucking die. 

Why on earth with the courts not give a credit to either parent based on the time that they have. I can understand if one of us did not see the child six or seven days a week. But in a situation where it's literally split 50-50 why would they still mandate that the full amount of child support paid? Also, what the hell is wrong with the logic. They impute income to her that is more than I earned and it only lowers the alimony?!?? She should be paying me alimony in that case. Worse yet, the only reason I'm paying child support is because I have more income. But if the imputed income to her that is more than earned why the hell am I still paying her child support. 

I'm broke, have a medical problem brewing and have zero fucking options and the courts just seems to want to fuck me over so I can just ""get with the program"" and surrender. 

",3.7318610915420014,4.822617449877754,4.877265343334301,84.78903298661473,71.93398533007336,7.501752931913308,26.578343209978872,7.832900843241703,1.4759038746840163,3166,104,641,40,59,1044,323,818,0.141,0.785,0.07400000000000001,-0.9962,21,0,0,0,3,0,61.0,6,1,4,7,18,34,9,1,62,0,70,13,2,8,5,99,123,54,2,18,22,13,1,2,0,10,6,1,2,14,31,37,1,1,12,3,23,7,13,16,0,9,15,6,99,18,102,90,28,80,2,3,4,4,82,39,8,12,31,466,130,27,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04799915295512257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043302332757865165,0.04505567839222753,0.0,0.0,0.03682266409812718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044559392723172525,0.0,0.1012426010562273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.198049609031125,0.0,0.0,0.0610065306539311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104154911638044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059914004275827284,0.0594793056182273,0.10476341727975684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056197330435836405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0473854949675961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0479592738994336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0593167567406424,0.04949051585996938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501775426636347,0.0848706709356725,0.05194393159870479,0.0923210881349566,0.0,0.08661459771499401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0478831151048182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057210594837246616,0.054315105709703916,0.0,0.0,0.12495961158790307,0.0,0.0,0.058489397558759884,0.0,0.16120133681169713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07649301499833047,0.052908195717848,0.0,0.047813893254209636,0.0,0.0,0.060578036681933276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05123637960896636,0.03614437466875377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054548661154158025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12683554253969548,0.04322061334769685,0.0,0.0,0.08030047658865201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1834612642644455,0.12354654327465732,0.0,0.0,0.060125219163019786,0.05863727370302501,0.0,0.03753957587196515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05181255853552593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670202457771899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04306085856557101,0.0,0.0,0.08629828291972576,0.0985890589733731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04479198863844643,0.18259469165815875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542965115161034,0.1297285775899064,0.0,0.0,0.056607503557179625,0.0,0.0,0.6144678786779921,0.0,0.0,0.04071274215483208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03469600962235865,0.0,0.0,0.03157427768753172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03676310464544197,0.0,0.05289496828788219,0.056370233719805186,0.1302673456652572,0.0,0.0,0.044677973807801225,0.12775215367882953,0.042980357276336485,0.26060674058533945,0.0,0.0,0.05019596652413645,0.14658110936500945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058721462970537534,0.0,0.0,0.0551816886815598,0.1923268018239188,0.059202606659946526,0.0,0.06973939019980452
divorce,speedforcejedi,2018/03/13,"What do you do when you have issues with your daughter? I’ve been divorced since October, and things were handled amicably between myself and the ex. Visitation is supposed to be every other weekend, and alternating holidays, blah blah. My ex and daughter moved three hours away to be closer to my ex’s family. The visitation has worked well, up until the last few weeks where my daughter does not want to come all the way up to where I live, but says she wants to see me.  I’ve made a trip down to see her for a couple of hours last weekend so it wouldn’t be so long, but it seems she does not want to make the trip anymore. She’s 13 and she is able to make that decision to a point, but to what extent do I fight it?  Should I fight it?   Or do I make a stand saying that unless she comes to see me that we won’t see each other?  I don’t want to be a selfish ass, and I want to respect her wishes, but should I let her lie in the bed that she is making for herself?  I really have no idea what to do or not to do. ",3.3798272425249176,3.6588311720930236,4.833704318936878,87.76005813953489,72.16279069767441,7.817275747508306,24.659468438538198,7.7094869923839395,0.9715514950166106,782,20,180,9,14,263,110,215,0.126,0.83,0.043,-0.9431,0,0,0,0,3,0,20.0,1,3,0,1,6,5,2,0,11,0,24,1,1,5,1,39,42,17,0,9,10,6,0,2,0,4,0,2,1,0,14,11,0,0,3,3,0,7,7,3,1,1,3,6,28,2,28,30,4,28,0,0,4,1,27,9,1,3,10,131,42,1,0.1280750209016086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701600594966134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1203306981089396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2206505799387294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171257460179965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22415862774666606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10790872893996224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207377313210749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2522561936795059,0.0,0.0,0.14458110925279238,0.0,0.13367704688620707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20879647196028175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1309653862200435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11309258989927705,0.11334236321205444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12118768150155515,0.3419642838826392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13612347839936145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210722922572134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08204813793791102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20370079435178148,0.0,0.0,0.4082368389189084,0.11659468886744212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594498078055817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0850873529345158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3777098281856934,0.10165999019017716,0.10273405640110067,0.0,0.11515482498221552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472799533418313,0.0,0.0,0.09324014058250804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,justdoit_already,2018/03/13,"Help with paperwork? (MO) I am working on my dissolution of marriage paperwork that I found on my county's website.  I have a vague idea of the paperwork that I need but some of the verbiage is a little iffy for me.  I filled it out to the best of my ability but there are still some blank spots.  I really would like to have everything in good order on my end when I file and I don't want anything stupid, like paperwork, holding things up.  I know it's not advised to do this on your own but many of us know the financial burden that comes with an attorney.  My parents said they would help if they needed to but they've helped me out so much already that I just don't want to need anything else from them if possible.

We have a house, two kids, and two cars.  Married 8 years.

Is there any service that will just help with paperwork for free or super cheap?  I'm going in to this with best case scenario in mind for us agreeing on everything.  Obviously, I would tackle whatever road blocks come up, if they do.  Fingers crossed.",3.1560294117647056,4.9359425441176485,4.0713725490196095,87.24617647058822,74.5392156862745,7.741176470588236,26.70588235294117,8.4952907291091,1.8006647058823528,805,30,166,15,17,259,118,204,0.044,0.728,0.228,0.9934,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,1,4,4,7,9,1,0,8,0,15,1,1,0,1,40,28,12,0,11,11,1,1,2,0,4,0,1,0,1,10,11,0,2,4,0,2,6,3,2,0,2,2,2,26,8,31,22,6,25,0,0,0,0,17,14,0,6,6,116,36,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177774346626668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0873688760836542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2114515153395297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696577110000925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22134339847884826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10732618333372378,0.0,0.11379263182086705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2309339785722324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1408685771562138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301653213427127,0.1077605482412723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3444621350266202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482453957050916,0.0,0.14503507802581395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14121537694490066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12553490380717702,0.12876786885992786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13025567735879548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12972530927527468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0944454971163458,0.28579256391537705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265868456876812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14483869652783524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08230576006227341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12221120239141647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10260202783225307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08535451785952547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25100703835428595,0.0,0.3090844147192833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15155831819286114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935329043635812,0.0,0.0,0.2737994698809547,0.0,0.0,0.08273508027935203
divorce,oxyrotten,2018/03/13,"Help! Judge is ordering us to court if we don't settle in 7 days and my attorney wants 10K in 2 days. New Jersey My wife filed back in May of 2017, i retained an attorney probably around June-July, neither attorney pushed us towards anything and we refused to work together on anything. We went to our first mediation January 20th and we met with our attorney's 5 days ago and got a lot of issues resolved. I just got an email from my attorney stating that the judge is pissed and he wants it resolved by Tuesday of next week or we begin trial and he wants 10K in retainer by this Thursday to begin prepping for trial. I've eaten through my 5K retainer and really have no more money to give him... What are my options at this point? ",4.4281081081081135,5.242714783783787,5.968486486486487,78.63191891891893,70.08108108108108,9.433513513513516,32.36756756756757,9.642632912329526,3.1031410810810813,580,26,112,13,10,198,97,148,0.064,0.887,0.05,-0.6086,1,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,9,0,0,4,4,3,1,0,4,0,6,2,1,0,0,29,17,9,0,4,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,14,1,4,2,0,1,2,3,1,0,1,5,0,17,2,22,11,3,26,0,0,0,0,18,9,1,5,13,70,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16033238909189595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2976849986694542,0.16101470254198808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13907964136411835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3499430291530181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15384989399565352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17350920046095422,0.0,0.0,0.2893202176893082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123489638088596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18878369893525165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377116941555316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.174687603526424,0.19235975302186226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17098279550073547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19501094128212065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587143291588375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4351342360290863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3200495230110485,0.0,0.1450848565687734,0.0,0.0,0.1676704429162791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316771954379922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Fieldspring57062,2018/03/13,"A year later.... I was thinking today about how I never missed my ex when I left him, after 31 mostly good years.  I missed my home, my pets, my new bathroom, the kitchen I had custom planned, the dreams that never quite came to fruition…but not him.  I felt remorse for being a quitter, and horrible guilt for disappointing my children, for ruining any future holidays as a “family”…but not him.  No tears at all…did that mean I was a cold-hearted shrew, incapable of feelings??
Then I remembered that I certainly had the capability of crying, in fact I was quite the expert at it.  My knowledge of using Preparation H on my eyelids and ice packs on my face at night, just to be able to go to work and be halfway presentable in the morning, solidifies the fact that I have quite the history of it in fact.
Yes, I CAN cry and I did…it’s just that my crying preceded the divorce….

I cried the first weekend after our wedding when he told me he would be going out with his friends just like always, only I was no longer invited.  It was to be his “Guy” time, as he’d never be hen-pecked.
I cried when, after 6 years of marriage, my baby fever kicked in and I told him I was pregnant.  His response of “J***s C***t” and slamming the door really got those tear-ducts to kick in.  I went through that pregnancy and the next with lots of crying…only to find that once those nuisances grew to be fun little people, he readily took credit and found them to be just what he needed in his life.  
I cried countless long nights when those little people were sick, fussy, colicky and he was out drinking and partying, or sleeping in bed, even though he was self employed and could’ve helped me.  The night one child was puking in the toilet and the other didn’t make it and the mess landed right outside our bedroom door, he slammed it in my face, yelling “I need to get some sleep around here!” 
I cried when I had to get not one, not two, but three jobs to keep the bills paid, because he decided on his own overnight to quit his job and farm with his father, even though the mortgage was falling behind and his parents depended on us to pay some bills WITH his job….
I cried when my problems were never important, when I was sick so he was sicker, when I needed help figuring how the mortgage would be paid that month and he slammed the bedroom door in my face, I cried when he allowed his friends to come over and stay late into the night, I cried when rumors of affairs reached my ears and he refused to discuss them….I cried at being the adult in Every. Single. Situation…

In between all this crying, life happened.  I adjusted, I swallowed my pride, I kept my family together and we raised two wonderful people who are adults now.  We had good times, sometimes very good…and sometimes very bad. I thought that was how it was supposed to be.  And somewhere in all of that I lost myself.  I became someone ugly, someone cold, someone unfaithful and someone I didn’t like. 

So, after 31 years, I left everything I knew to save myself.  Let him sink or swim in all those tears I left behind.
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divorce,notjustpudding,2018/03/13,"I'm ready to go ahead and accept she had an affair My divorce falls under the, ""Abrupt Departure"" scenario.  I'm M45, she is F39.  We were married for 11 years.  The marriage was never perfect, but I did the: she must love me like I love her, unconditionally.  We had several fights in 2017, all to do with my daughter from a first marriage that she never fully accepted/always had problems with.  95% of our fights were over my daughter.

A couple of years ago she started a new job that got her a lot of attention.  For the first time, she was speaking to lots of people and making waves.  The job got her out of scrubs, and into nice clothing, and meeting important people.  She began getting her nails done all the time, another first, and buying very nice clothing, and also lots of jewelry for the first time.  I paid no attention, and was proud she was doing so well.  But after about six months, in an argument (again, over my daughter) she surprised me by letting me know she was on antidepressants, and had been for months.  I was shocked, hurt.  I began to cry, and asked if it was me, our marriage.  She showed sympathy at that point and said, ""no, it's my job.""  But later, she talked about how much she loved her job, so i was confused.  Much later on, she told me she was on them because of me and my daughter.

The beginning of Fall, she began hitting her treadmill daily, saying she was trying to get off the antidepressants.  I always took her at her word, but looking back, I wonder if she wasn't trying to get fit for another.  She hit the scales a lot, each day, to map progress.

And she also began hitting beauty products galore.  She began talking about wanting a boob job.

Still, our sex life was fine, we continued to go out with our circle of friends.  We nearly daily ate out and enjoyed drinks and friends and fun.  Our lives together were always together and very social.  All our friends were shocked to find out she suddenly left me.  When I asked them if they thought she had someone else, they would say, ""she was always with you.  When could she have done it?""  Indeed, we were together every evening, and all weekend.  We rarely spent time apart except for work.

Back in the fall she talked about how handsome I was, my face, my jaw, my cheek bones.  I assumed as a dumb guy that, ""my wife just loves me.  She find me attractive, cool.""  Looking back, was this her trying to build me up, her having an affair, getting me ready?  Another time -- how it came up idk -- we were talking about 'what if' cheating on each other.  It was a casual conversation and benign, we were having drink with friends, but I recall distinctly how she said to me very deliberately and methodically, ""if you ever cheat on me, I hope you let me know, so that I can decide what to do about it.""  This was, again, in the fall.  Looking back, was that another red flag?  Was I that friggin stupid?

And she is a very attractive woman, and always got attention.  I did ask her if anyone was flirting with her at her new job.  She said a very very young guy who she just overlooks, and then some much older guys.

We had a couple more fights that fall.  Yet again, over my daughter.  She was just very unfair to her, and had a clear double standard.  I had, over the years, grown shorter with her about the topic, sarcastic, rude, disrespectful.  She was no saint.  Again, after years of marriage, you take one another for granted.  But I loved her, and had no clue anything was wrong.  In 2017, we had taken four vacations together, traveling across the country and to the Caribbean.  Each was wonderful.  The last was in the fall and I thought very romantic. I had no inkling of a clue what was coming just after the new year.

Compared to my daughter, by contrast, I had a very good relationship with her son from another marriage.  Between Christmas and new years, I took three days off to spend time with him.  We fished, went to the park and threw ball, and played xbox.  All three days, looking back, she was gone from the house.  I cannot recall what she said she was doing.  I now wonder if she was with 'him.'

I'll never know who 'him' was.  All I know is that in the middle of January, she suddenly and shockingly came to me and said she was done with the marriage.  I was floored.  Thus began my liquid molten hell: no sleep, weightloss, calling friends and family in grave pain screaming for guidance, seeking counselors, pastors....

For the next two weeks, I did most things wrong.  I let her know I was devastated.  At times I begged, bargained, negotiated, looked for reassurance, but looking back, she had been planning this for some time.  I found scribbles of finances made back in November, and then more in January prior to the announcement, all meant to move out and live alone.

But the very first sign I had in front of me of any issue was sex.  We had last had sex the very end of 2017, and the first weekend into the new year, she had turned me down for sex, saying, ""that tai food gave me diarrhea.""  I found it odd because I had the same food and was fine, and her diarrhea lasted a week.  I now think that it was instead nerves, that she was planning on dropping the bomb to leave me soon, and was upset.  So the next weekend I wanted sex again.  It was over two weeks, and we always had sex at least every two weeks.  She blew up on me instead, listing tons of things wrong with me.  It was bad.  I initially argued back, but then realized this fight was different.  She was different.  I backed off.  The next day I kissed her ass hard, and she was cold.  She was cold until a few days later when she told me it was over and my true hell began.

I tried one more time to have sex, the next weekend, having been given affection by her.  When I asked, and we were in bed cuddling, she quivered in disgust at the thought of having sex with me, and said, ""why do you have to push sex?!?""  I quickly said, ""ok ok ok!!! We won't have sex!"" and then she said, ""well, don't freak out about it.""  ...I know, I know, another clear sign.

We would never have sex again.

She packed to leave over two days.  We sent the kids away that last week.  I tried so hard to keep her that last evening, as I helped her pack.  Prior to her signing the lease on her new apartment, she had been very cruel to me, building up the case against me.  He reasons were a dozen strong, even listing things we had never discussed once.  But after the lease, she became nice to me, sweet, and that final evening she was the nicest.  It was the oddest day in my life, helping her pack to leave me, while laughing and joking with each other.  At one point, we hugged, and when I disengaged, she kept hugging me.  Telling a friend this later, he said, ""she was messing with you....""  Amazing how you cannot see this when your heart is ripping out.  The one you love could put a .45 caliber slug through your heart, and if you some how survived it, you'd let them do it again just to stay with them.

But from the beginning of the announcement until the end, she was cruel if I tried to get her discuss it -- and up to 3 days at a time, I would be perfect, not bring it up, but finally say something -- and when not discussing it, she was very affectionate to me, more so than normal.  And she was making me fine meals every day.  I was very confused.

Friends who stopped by and saw her being affectionate, feeding me, yet hearing me tell them how she is continuing to get ready to leave me were confounded.  They said they had never seen anything like it.  It was bizarre.  I googled and found that being overly affectionate is another clear sign..

Her final dear john email to me was filled with love sayings, how greatly she loved me, would always love me, etc., but of course, that's worthless now.

She came back once to get something, and I was in the driveway.  She asked if she could hug me and I said yes.  I did not hug her back.  She asked if I hated her, and I said no.  But I never looked at her face.  She showed me great pity.  She kept saying she was so sorry she had hurt me.  I did not know who she was.  I was instead looking at years and years then get into the car I had always washed and filled the gas up for her, drive away, forever.

I have blocked all her emails, but in the last one she sent me she said she hoped I was ok.

In the final night we were together, me helping her pack, I tried one last session of negotiating: let's get divorced but date one another, let's start over from zero like we did years ago..  She only offered me friendship, and said, ""I'm going to be dating others.  Can you still be friends if I do that?""  This destroyed me.

At one point, she looked at me and said, ""you are very handsome, and you make good money .. your girlfriend is going to be lucky.""

I was bewildered, hurt and in incredible pain and anguish.  I wanted so badly to stop this, to make it stop, to make her be as she used to be toward me..

What tf was going on.  I was in pain, am still in pain, but in shock and confusion over it all: the cruelty, the affection, the pity, the ""gonna date"" the ""your gf will be lucky..""

Without solid evidence, and not wanting to try and find out, I'm simply ready to accept she had an affair, and it could have been going on as far back as when she started the antidepressants almost two years ago.

I am determined to get over this, to heal, to be better.  I am going to the gym every day.  I have lost weight.  I have stopped drinking.  I have repaired old relationships in my family.  I have been rebuilding my relationship with my daughter, that relationship my wife had hurt.

And now, I am ready to accept she had an affair.  It's like a super massive black hole in the middle of each galaxy.  We cannot take a picture of it, but of course it's there.

I welcome any feedback, no matter how much it hurts.  I have told my family and friends, ""please don't not say something truthful to me about this situation, because you are afraid of upsetting me.  Only truth can help me heal.  Lying to me, or holding back, will do me no good.""




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divorce,Wanting_Out,2018/03/13,"I need your help Internet Typical marriage, me 39yo M, her 42yoF. We've been together 11 years and married for 5. Ever since that ring went on, she has simply let herself go to the point where its a struggle to get her off the couch to do anything anymore. There are no kids (thankfully), just her and I and her nephew who she moved in last November for a 'short term help him out' kind of arrangement if you can believe it. 

My problem is income disparity. I work in the oil and gas industry and do fairly well (>140K)  she works and the same old dingy laundromat she has for 15 years making 25K a year at best. I pay for everything, mortgage, bills, taxes, retirement savings. She is perpetually broke, and pisses away her money on anything and nothing. Smokes, clothes she'll never wear, knick-knack crap for the house, crap for her nieces and nephews, just junk. 

I haven't seen her wear anything but jogging/yoga pants for about 4 years now other than the odd time she's forced to get dressed up a bit like a wedding or funeral. She's gained ~40 lbs since we got married and not much fits her anymore. Of course buying cloths that fit means admitting you've gone up a few sizes and we're in denial there. Hasn't seen a dentist in at least 10 years, refuses to go and get her teeth looked at. Over the past year and half they've started migrating due to gum disease and are starting to get big gaps in them. In her words she 'thinks I (she) has a beautiful smile', friends its not beautiful at all, I cringe anymore. Has psoriasis raging on her legs and elbows, again refuses to go to a dermatologist for help. 'Doctors are only going to give you bad news', I've heard it several times over the years.  

I truly think she is suffering from depression. Her family has a lot of drama, and her parents are stuck caring for her sister and three children who live with them. Her mother (heavy smoker) was diagnosed with esophagus cancer several years ago. Had surgery but has never really recovered and is pretty much confined to the bed other than meals and smoke breaks. I have tried to talk to her about seeing a therapist, and it starts a fight every time. So I have given up.

I've had it with this situation. I am ready to walk, and am just looking for that final push. The house is completely in my name (she signed paperwork to be left off the mortgage intentionally when we bought it). I know I will end up funding a place for her to live for a few years, and some support but I don't care. Its worth whatever it costs to get her out of my life. I live in Canada, in a province that doesn't allow divorce until a year of separation is up.  

I guess I'm just venting more than asking real questions. I apologize as I am just feeling trapped and I don't know what to do other than pack a bag and close the door behind me. I just can't understand why someone chooses to be so self destructive, and not care at all about their own health when they see daily, the effects it has down the road. Her mother is 65 and dying because of her lifestyle choices. My wife is making those same choices and yet seems to think it won't happen to her. I just can't look at it  any more.

Sorry for the rant internet. I would love to hear any and all advice from those you you who have been in similar situations and got out of it. 

Thank you in advance",4.444394009368609,5.492724130500761,5.1455805898264835,83.68764844626246,70.21396054628225,8.340449957115524,27.983143102197005,8.652420539549441,1.9441912383717093,2618,90,526,43,46,846,336,659,0.11,0.7879999999999999,0.102,-0.7232,4,1,3,0,2,0,77.0,2,6,4,6,23,25,6,1,32,0,48,16,8,5,6,93,101,40,2,4,15,7,1,1,1,4,6,3,3,3,27,38,1,3,13,1,9,10,14,12,1,2,15,12,75,13,91,79,18,88,0,3,7,1,80,44,3,7,34,349,102,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06863580807504506,0.06226179206072777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955285630704008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2089718117118319,0.0,0.0,0.173399787701028,0.0,0.0656630938940071,0.0,0.06599095864695009,0.0,0.058645836639838925,0.04281646243053947,0.0,0.0,0.07913422825341969,0.07371049854191633,0.0,0.07668175745069615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148371146534025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364325750186518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060495928239422424,0.07129014071310212,0.07289600516982955,0.0,0.0,0.07189161886548083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06221006320052879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06353433605896525,0.059178585190913666,0.0,0.06312542900292449,0.0,0.0662141810855471,0.0,0.035514467731304636,0.0,0.0,0.07694234890677394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054265742026599416,0.0,0.18348240682468656,0.06737873626726308,0.1596716063622492,0.0,0.11235156748279693,0.0,0.07737512911397602,0.0,0.06211127431068375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465976106047317,0.07916338538861704,0.0,0.14123725003519197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16209055522187107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731421189751569,0.07720198912754023,0.0572533840628337,0.0,0.0,0.07631384519285071,0.07182316334942519,0.049611210830918524,0.03431476262896615,0.0,0.1860644508992148,0.0,0.1769468124689039,0.0,0.0,0.059713877085675125,0.06339258103433197,0.0,0.09376888554241934,0.0,0.0,0.07650982578979804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07465192984917876,0.10326609466002004,0.05208062296864363,0.10834382606014484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06739530185212607,0.0,0.07370301657364367,0.0,0.0,0.05341920092062437,0.0,0.0,0.07799104073010749,0.0,0.06705016487990327,0.0,0.0,0.07338381126039202,0.0,0.06639765876205497,0.0,0.0,0.0714573463436152,0.0,0.06720832654462337,0.0,0.0,0.07868268903588947,0.0,0.0,0.07994627624182635,0.044996292407595485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194126178371223,0.0639420813842496,0.07327360291917291,0.15869800464510406,0.0,0.11620327905373184,0.15790101871231316,0.0,0.0,0.059512470550368776,0.0,0.0,0.07862574480537758,0.1491445566930812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07342805859197743,0.0,0.0,0.07970530506239419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056454682802358463,0.0,0.1293315165313693,0.0,0.08155178788835077,0.0,0.1350171161435314,0.0,0.0,0.1228691127333097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047687024374812495,0.0,0.0,0.07312028555084267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315244083864917,0.06511137463061206,0.06337891392825107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022682716565904,0.0,0.0,0.04989509441577624,0.0,0.0,0.452310003795472
divorce,Aldright16,2018/03/13,"It has to get better...right? Im a 28 year old male going through a divorce. We were together for 8 years, married for 2. It's a pretty fresh separation, and I am really struggling with the sudden and complete change of basically everything. 

I've gone from being a husband and father to being literally alone. I haven't seen my kid in 3 weeks and I live 2000 miles away from absolutley anyone that I know.

The ex and I had to go our own ways for several reasons. Infidelity, alcoholism, and abuse to name a few. The sense of betrayal I feel towards her is unreal. Cheating is one thing i will not stand for. Im not innocent myself. Alcohol is something I struggle with as well, and probably is this ultimate cause of everything falling apart. I'm sure she has some strong feelings towards me as well, and I have no desire to see her either. The most painful part of all of this isn't what she has done to me emotionally and physically. Its that I can't be with my kid. I have no idea where she has gone. Blocked on all social media of course. And i have no idea where to go from here. I do have a lawyer, and hopefully she can track her down. 

Im just so tired of feeling alone. I made this account just to get out everything that I can. Thanks for listening. ",1.8262728937728951,4.129291059523812,3.6892063492063523,85.87587912087915,80.86507936507937,7.368986568986569,24.77167277167277,8.384062270229773,1.7694427350427353,985,38,202,22,26,331,148,252,0.155,0.747,0.098,-0.9313,0,2,3,0,2,0,32.0,2,0,0,1,8,10,1,2,10,0,26,4,0,3,3,39,44,14,0,2,5,3,3,0,0,1,4,1,0,3,11,16,2,1,7,0,1,6,8,4,2,1,7,6,29,6,36,33,8,24,0,0,2,0,19,11,0,3,5,145,40,1,0.0,0.13593453279590173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24521978826303706,0.0,0.2376482878215048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022084706852148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10779121890590083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146805049260946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11785779098766412,0.12136755914968855,0.0,0.1202906678897602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11740710638316455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905414025034467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3093317816120684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17403055709640924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11988183038971754,0.0,0.1956085813951744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395130489366445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2590290631076776,0.3717794595229217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305179285649208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10130738295419724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10855889736138948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12038827979478114,0.0,0.07774301271508784,0.0,0.1220792316756994,0.0,0.0,0.12423980433551975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11672014803372435,0.1236967464962726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07349802615854574,0.11796002408821635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797752715429077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09142377456649166,0.0,0.0,0.12961056870038873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11695127557818975,0.0,0.08832361796757482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2398783136298309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081302700705756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10562660473268684,0.0,0.0,0.07622052917855261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13186355372082034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09106615708852954,0.09202829649169557,0.0,0.20630943130556856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14776280760909927
divorce,ClaireMisha,2018/03/13,"New to Reddit/divorce and terrified Hi everyone .. I'm Claire. My 29th wedding anniversary was yesterday. I'm planning to use an online divorce service to file in April while my husband is on a business trip. 

Like many here, this step is way overdue. Long standing history of emotional abuse and some physical (to a lesser extent) 

My STBX has many truely wonderful qualities but ... He's controlling and a rage-aholic. I've walked on egg shells for 29 years. He's never expressed gratitude or passion for my efforts.. only criticism. 

We have 3 adult children. Our youngest graduates from college this May. 

I haven't payed a bill in 29 years. I was independent when we met. I've come down with a case of learned helplessness from his controlling nature. 

April 28th I am moving out. Because he's a good person and in total denial I feel horrible. But he's a Jekyll and Hyde. I'm always unsure and off balance. 

Conversations are ALWAYS circular and end in conflict and horrid words. I have to leave while he's gone or I'll lose my courage. 

We have simple assets and finances. Nothing to haggle over. 

I'm happy to be here among friends. ",2.535642907058005,5.448106575471698,3.6693920335429766,82.73989867225718,84.66037735849056,6.7256464011181,27.66317260656883,7.921354282810032,2.3661786862334035,902,42,154,19,27,291,139,212,0.158,0.718,0.125,-0.825,0,0,0,0,3,0,33.0,4,0,0,5,3,8,0,0,8,0,13,2,0,4,2,32,23,16,0,0,4,1,1,1,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,15,1,3,3,0,3,6,2,2,0,0,4,1,15,6,25,17,3,31,0,2,0,1,21,11,0,5,13,84,17,6,0.0,0.20749417730322986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914356210649437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10675441451794923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15085445473388326,0.0,0.0,0.3928345684820087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969917585182463,0.15510853763014615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16733919146661794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08854832917882091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13530093776032448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688632106021368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18642353947730292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543181097399047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08555710083990536,0.0,0.0,0.15497988181451486,0.0,0.1959197860656308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550979937778709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18612988115523968,0.0,0.0,0.13506699364116015,0.16913656272820848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16803690875107002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13319025427543002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15291216589035594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1512515453602636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900586522500494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18991530747446164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2255491784924121
divorce,candylandy206,2018/03/13,"What’s worse than being 100% alone? Being alone in a shitty marriage where you no longer know the other person or care to know them because they treat you so badly and you can barely remember the times when things were better. How the fuck did this happen? Why do people do this shit to each other? Omg, fuck marriage. Fuck romantic relationships. Fuck forever and fuck love.",3.908571428571428,6.676942217391307,3.987619047619052,84.03000000000002,76.10144927536231,6.2616977225672885,20.002070393374744,7.447530270364453,0.7936939958592135,299,7,51,4,7,92,52,69,0.37,0.479,0.151,-0.9715,0,2,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,3,2,1,4,11,6,0,4,0,7,7,1,1,0,8,17,6,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,6,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,0,0,2,0,5,4,4,13,1,4,0,0,0,6,10,2,6,1,2,35,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33288876914601034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418395414583748,0.09796573057265644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14213262273322155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638518901095254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7428569414816218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14211301025898732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17664115242615722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450446898547384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114142661631845,0.14032349025133062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1725395889737578,0.18205013974620302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1649638217950986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10676684597434724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.093709768863321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1450134189847033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637745554470338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Thisguy99799,2018/03/13,Just a matter of time Did you all know that a divorce was coming? Like feel it in the pit of your stomach? Been togethor 6 years have a son that will be 2 in a month and i hate this feeling. Because i know its coming. I know i wont be able to see my little guy every day and be his dad. I know im not going to be there to see him when he gets home from school and its killing me. My wife is an angry person and i cant talk to her because it turns into such an ugly argument. I feel so defeated and helpless...I just wish things were different. I dont even know what to do anymore. I just cant do this anymore...,-0.02592194570135576,1.5613708308823568,2.5458823529411774,95.44300904977379,83.33823529411767,5.361085972850678,20.020361990950228,6.297961479604792,-0.05796312217194587,467,13,114,4,13,162,87,136,0.157,0.784,0.059,-0.9435,1,0,0,0,1,0,15.0,0,2,0,1,8,4,2,0,7,0,17,1,1,0,1,23,34,7,1,1,4,3,3,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,10,8,0,0,8,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,4,5,17,1,11,24,1,12,0,1,2,0,13,4,0,0,6,77,27,1,0.15856991518291122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3145174937083611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1933254970055228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2731878823804669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022644771311969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1656718114801062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1858427596272672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473393346982524,0.0,0.13360199260596534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405331408279973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284623595117764,0.0,0.09011893704357783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15700914635763324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15655496241218564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905855392906815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128271913160614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1754341170623827,0.0,0.4357293921149335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746925088257267,0.15892871282470605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1265689934537645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384571336109647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1604812198088448,0.2527193845693061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745249130239242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10534680566891977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246339272863424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17247853322160345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18234757679640545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10211382645890836
divorce,spurgelaurels,2018/03/14,"At what point am I single? We broke down about 2 years ago, I moved out 18 months ago, we declared our intent to divorce about a year ago, we signed our separation last week, and we are filing for divorce next month.  

At which point am I a bachelorette?  ",5.3665333333333365,5.472975120000001,5.306000000000001,86.70633333333336,67.8,8.266666666666667,26.66666666666667,7.793537801064563,1.2358666666666671,196,5,42,2,3,61,36,50,0.068,0.932,0.0,-0.4871,0,0,0,0,2,0,7.0,6,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,8,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,0,8,3,1,17,0,1,0,0,8,6,0,0,10,26,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6195817948428421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899139814022588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3719330244183213,0.24762632723090025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477823345776601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4404925206674787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18688662211159046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30006957686412555
divorce,DancyP,2018/03/14,"Seething mad On March 1st, I finally filed for a divorce. My stbx and I separated on Christmas Eve after I found him browsing “casual encounters” on Craigslist. He later admitted to cheating multiple times throughout our marriage. We agreed that I would file the petition. I did not retain an attorney primarily because I can’t afford one and because he and I agreed on mostly everything.

This past Sunday, my stbx called me and asked if we should try to workout our marriage for the kids. I told him that I want the divorce.

Today, he texts me that his parents have retained an attorney for him! They’ve also paid all of his credit card debt and hospital bills. Meanwhile, I am drowning in credit card debt from trying to support us (he’s had 6 jobs in the past 2 years), and I’m barely able to make ends meet due to not receiving any financial support from him these past few months. 

I don’t know what to do! Can I retain an attorney and ask that my stbx pay my fees? I know that his parents paid for his attorney but since the attorney is technically his, is there an assumption that he must have the financial ability to pay???",6.415470085470084,6.808973111111111,6.841851851851853,75.60371794871797,65.57407407407408,10.535042735042737,35.133903133903125,10.389873798559362,3.703416381766382,896,40,164,21,13,292,126,216,0.051,0.8540000000000001,0.095,0.7179,7,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,5,0,0,0,2,7,2,0,11,0,14,0,0,1,2,27,28,10,1,5,4,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,9,9,0,3,4,2,10,1,4,2,0,1,6,0,33,5,21,19,3,22,0,0,0,0,33,6,0,2,15,105,42,5,0.15516622106730002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12408637092750822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551835120220697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29011894159551765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18917577632366284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15844206033325914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13743121609119685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13945339431959744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1699770107142606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013175245029272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15397853186861113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17055059430267586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357465744787572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12385219728381965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10514464712856694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3445874516219951,0.0,0.4443711462978568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128355101510356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35216157772852263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047867131803833,0.0,0.1470794344617881,0.14826797373212566,0.0,0.2106953574528862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866458588310699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0915210574036566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1102256315098379,0.0,0.0,0.09992195904294984
divorce,Kriket308,2018/03/14,"Karma came back around! Just a bit of a sweet, sweet karma story I had to share.  Background: Together for 15 years, married for 6, divorced since Jan 2017. He cheated on me with his co-worker. She cheated on her husband with mine. They busted up two marriages to ride off into the sunset... Or so I thought.

They have been together for a year and a half +. My ex is a classic narcissist, so I assumed, even if things weren't going well for them, he'd stay in that relationship longer than necessary because he had something to prove.  After all he destroyed not only me (temporarily), but also many friendships to be with her.  There's no way he'd go down without a fight. Can't be wrong, ya know.

Well, Reddit friends, I was informed yesterday that she dumped him!  Gave him the classic, ""I need to find myself"" bullshit. Which is all too perfect because that's what he told ME! He asked for a divorce, claiming there wasn't anyone else, and that he just doesn't know who he was anymore (only to find out, via a phone call from HER husband, about the affair after he fed me that line.). My ex is super salty about it all, saying he was ""screwed, duped, lied to"" and that ""women aren't worth the paper they're written on"" (whatever that means).  Every bone in my body wants to scream at him - the pain he feels is a fraction of what he caused me. I will stay silent, but that temptation is strong!  Haha!  Welcome to heartbreak, you lying twat. May you find it as miserable a place as I did.

Schadenfreude at it's best, folks.  I'm in a really good place in my life. Better than I ever could have been if I were with him. Karma train came to town.  A little late for my liking, but better late than never!",2.4163482711995385,4.497157913173652,3.3442708132122867,90.27584025497394,77.65269461077844,5.627042688815917,23.04964265018351,6.532088108194933,0.5711757002124784,1309,41,264,11,31,417,194,334,0.145,0.6829999999999999,0.172,0.9146,0,0,1,0,3,0,68.0,0,3,3,6,16,27,6,1,17,1,28,6,2,1,7,44,45,14,0,5,10,4,1,1,1,2,2,2,0,1,16,12,1,0,11,0,1,5,9,11,2,2,18,5,39,16,48,20,5,37,3,2,0,1,51,19,1,5,11,177,55,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934376566842443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11587481536559152,0.08169790121794658,0.1197173496024848,0.0,0.10401320740466412,0.109230505573553,0.0,0.0,0.08984346991045736,0.0,0.14245030384063914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12261735694039533,0.20667263108907505,0.12756004382200695,0.1297839432961953,0.0,0.0,0.11930766229284125,0.2672698148104915,0.0,0.12002782964447002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09328798233720942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760561181116753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07717233823935643,0.10568931857221207,0.09844353039418748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059078289422790815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3203715044111595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09027101961502976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13280679643913046,0.09800063613080393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284254488114335,0.0,0.2636033367920829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08252821059459614,0.057082580919028625,0.11710531606823857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845837320936775,0.0,0.1272740356379528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08663607576324912,0.09011493515235357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17772559828855558,0.1243269969673224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441478258038155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07485129739014101,0.0,0.0,0.12544344195760496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09291660432422824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09665203212045301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08994986315418838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490737895299011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07762392808305925,0.0,0.0,0.09275865428602773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11164652429834024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11413661972539853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06891581305136009,0.09274289885971676,0.0,0.0,0.21010807234104825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263049569255268,0.0,0.08506159514212562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277472247704642,0.0,0.15048346783752214
divorce,EndeavorToTry,2018/03/14,"Contemplating Divorce- I am the cause In reading these posts it seems like most  of you are on the wrong side of an affair or terrible spouse. I am that spouse. I had an affair. Fell in love with my affair partner. We haven't seen each other in 6 months, but are still talking. My husband is a good man and loves me, but I just don't feel any intimacy for him. We have kids, he is a good dad, and I love our family, but I don't think it's fair to him to continue our relationship if I see him as their dad and my friend rather than a partner. He does know about the affair, but doesn't know we are still talking. If I leave him, I will try things with my affair partner, but I am not delusional enough to think that it will work for sure, or that he is why I should leave. I need to feel confident I am leaving because the relationship is not right, and be ok if I end up alone. Has anyone else dealt with this? I know I will get a lot of hate here and that is understandable. I have a lot of guilt and self hatred around my actions, so please know that I am not unaware of how shitty of a human being I am. Just trying to find my way through all of this. Thanks.",2.6199229024943307,3.552891130612249,3.878333333333334,91.49972222222223,74.42857142857143,7.0770975056689345,22.590702947845806,7.3871296695380915,0.5390226757369612,897,22,211,10,18,294,128,245,0.112,0.711,0.177,0.9668,0,1,0,0,1,0,27.0,5,1,1,1,10,14,1,1,12,1,28,3,0,2,2,50,47,19,0,6,16,5,2,1,4,4,0,0,0,7,13,14,0,0,11,1,0,2,7,4,0,0,2,4,37,10,27,39,6,17,0,0,2,3,40,8,0,9,6,150,50,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499893827817915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08207366462120484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08438958936554958,0.12366165865061818,0.0,0.10744011450253957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357179601248179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239823680306478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10561705181125323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008214088455465,0.0,0.10689594188538937,0.12470552778297132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377624276789232,0.0,0.12204946542037293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103089116473823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0932451649718561,0.0,0.06305579415246873,0.0,0.0,0.2024588959410003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191568617459914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26531332452154954,0.0,0.0,0.3833813739546024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05896327190623585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20521345924777495,0.3267836090939634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09633398917494558,0.0,0.0,0.0894904611857665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248190367221765,0.0,0.0,0.1155881173019256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12072313992292873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591528153743558,0.0,0.10306900993628423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09617468620500573,0.10987207959665732,0.12590649159337974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19276714544655404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374934848852415,0.0,0.0,0.1940128712792468,0.0,0.11111557812216633,0.0,0.0,0.08018139166629339,0.15466717181847753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16388182631564252,0.0,0.0,0.12564304539750915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579848484067224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10890438542386556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08786410639451958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319560928769597,0.0,0.0
divorce,passw-0rd,2018/03/14,"I’m not sure how to get my stuff back at this point After a month of constant fighting (and a pretty rough couple of years before that), STBX [30] and I [27] separated.  I “temporarily” moved out with a laundry basket of clothes and into a trusted friends house where they said that I could stay as long as I needed.  We went to marriage counseling for about a month before we decided that it was time to call it divorce.  We decided to do it amicably and uncontested.  

While we were going to counseling, STBX called me one day and said that the landlord needed to do some renovations to the apartment and was going to temporarily move us to another apartment while he did them (the landlord has been slowly updating each apartment and moving tenants into a temporary apartment for a while now).  Not wanting to fight, I shrugged it off.  He moved the stuff on a weekend that I was out of town visiting a friend.

After we came to the divorce conclusion, I said that we needed to make an inventory of our stuff so that we could split it equitably enough...STBX told me that he had signed a new lease when they “temporarily” “moved him” and that I was not allowed at HIS apartment.  He told my dad that he could come and pick up my stuff.  When my dad got there, STBX had a few of my personal documents (social security card and birth certificate are still “missing”) and my books packed up and told him that that was all I got.   He wouldn’t let my dad into the apartment any more than just the doorway.
Lawyer fees later, I made an inventory based on the purchases we had made during our marriage and the wedding gifts we had received that pretty equally split everything up, as well as a fair division of debt etc.  STBX lawyered up and refused the petition.  He is now bringing me to court and applying for bifurcation....in his “counter petition” he said that he didn’t feel like mediation or settlement would work in a speedy enough time, so he’s taking it to the court to bifurcate instead.

It’s been four months of this now...after a very tiring marriage...

Is it time to just say goodbye to my “stuff”?  We don’t have any real assets...it’s really just a bunch of stuff (nice appliances, electronics, instruments, gear, etc).   It hurts to think to start over...after he carelessly and childishly spent most of my money the entire marriage I’m pretty much starting from zero financially...
But how much effort/lawyer money is it worth to really put into this from this point?",7.530451612903228,7.1521181311827995,7.549591397849464,74.06438709677421,63.38709677419354,10.96688172043011,34.94408602150538,10.444984826868176,3.543328602150538,1941,76,358,41,25,626,220,465,0.031,0.897,0.07200000000000001,0.9551,2,0,0,0,5,0,64.0,13,0,3,2,18,13,2,0,29,0,29,1,0,7,2,72,61,31,0,9,8,3,2,1,2,2,1,5,3,1,34,36,0,2,5,2,7,14,6,5,1,3,28,7,42,8,60,27,13,69,0,2,0,0,60,26,0,3,29,251,76,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09756140193086564,0.07521799837478843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05515802432381795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12207850155321248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1464942292483836,0.08204310764617688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061791375921621775,0.0,0.07751757336951835,0.0,0.1718181901479556,0.07937087654582392,0.0,0.04626166208237132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14823812455782354,0.1600018612459057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06446873221021852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036270212272962996,0.05124586061928109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11084102385235474,0.0,0.03747737904583296,0.0,0.08153470158330628,0.0,0.1147423982989671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08276991351552103,0.07679134706243426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07335155352766567,0.0,0.035044977558592816,0.0,0.0,0.06348118890080247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13575044464984848,0.04788213931508333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17176908843191166,0.38120257956581655,0.10546358746684294,0.15956668121897244,0.0,0.06927989596373693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486079391049782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06263423338865527,0.0,0.0,0.13562118942330134,0.0,0.0,0.21893385591086964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07211118381237419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0816475255003761,0.09190761857772313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729369260867495,0.05704472819794565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07312246185245805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154555924536164,0.07645752192679232,0.0572858329245297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4927007295909772,0.0,0.0,0.06760722796089093,0.0,0.053934068845351256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045963422569637986,0.0,0.0,0.1254837559257446,0.08244619504157348,0.0,0.20563102835593391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08628561498868816,0.0,0.0,0.05918699620027326,0.0423098094538328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449631885527342,0.06649693857455885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05222226544175376,0.0,0.0,0.050956857344212673,0.0,0.0,0.04619351182443812
divorce,searchings_,2018/03/14,"My biggest barrier is my own mind- any advice? Hi r/divorce 

I got married less than a year ago, I’m a male in my late twenties and my wife a few years older. We started dating 10 years ago on and off, and basically went through it all. We have no children, no shared property, share some investments and savings. Without going into too much detail, our relationship was complicated by:


- Religious differences causing tension between families
- immense cultural and parental pressure from her end to marry as soon as possible 
- my inability to commit to marriage fully as I never felt ready 
- her relationships with other men, for which I was blamed for not committing 
- Long distance - though we knew each other for 10 years, I rarely saw her 


Ultimately , I gave into marriage and never truly felt happy with my decision. The wedding and honeymoon were full of red flags. Now our wedding has come and gone and I feel the same sense of detachment I felt before. I can’t tell her that I genuinely love her anymore, I prefer to spend time alone, I miss my friends and family and I wait for her to sleep or leave town to breathe a sigh of relief. I can’t stop myself from looking at other women. I fantasize about dating someone who’s more compatible with me.  


I don’t want to trash my wife, she has great attributes and I had to fight off a lot of men to win her. But now I feel like I just went ahead with marriage mostly because of pressure from her end; also jealousy, possessiveness, and the thought that it would push me to become a better person. We are just different people with different interests and goals. At times I feel like a puppet being forced to do things I don’t want to do at my core but I perform out of obligation. Don’t even feel like having sex with her anymore 


I’ve tried to leave  many, many times but my wife melts down and it devolves into an emotional fight that gets out of control. I’m laid back and I just detach and avoid the situation. I just want to get away from the screaming and nagging. I feel immense guilt when I try to leave as she makes me (or maybe I make myself) feel like I’m  ruining her life, embarrassing her; and tearing her family apart. 


Essentially, I’m mostly okay with her, I can get by and be happy sometimes, at times deeply miserable too... but I can’t help but think there’s more to life. I’ve worked so hard for my career and I feel like I sold myself for cheap out of obligation and guilt. I don’t feel love anymore, the passion has been gone for a while 


I know it sounds bad based on my post , but there are positives, I would rate our relationship as a 5/10. But do I gotta live a 5/10 my whole life? Am I taking on a grass is greener mentality, chasing an ideal and ruining my own marriage mentally? 


Am I just going through a rocky start to marriage? I’m looking at her sleep right now and It breaks my heart to abandon her but I can’t lie to myself anymore. Can anyone else who eventually divorced relate to me, or offer any article, book, or wisdom to guide me through this? I would be forever grateful . Thanks for reading 


",4.626735644679116,5.908753909849754,5.464493535737864,80.69614784330474,70.00166944908179,8.443545443956982,29.789998835268094,8.841846274778883,2.378108172535621,2428,95,462,43,43,793,290,599,0.129,0.747,0.124,0.7688,3,3,0,0,4,0,70.0,7,0,0,8,21,41,3,8,20,1,35,11,4,5,5,108,85,46,0,8,19,4,12,5,1,4,3,2,0,6,16,43,0,6,17,2,4,8,14,17,1,0,18,18,86,23,82,60,16,64,0,5,4,4,60,24,0,8,35,316,102,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06717467366185087,0.1218726982483672,0.0,0.0,0.07119681446279984,0.0,0.054973596498503176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09349492968194356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2726975641426041,0.048066567759797965,0.0704351275969766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06458612837915012,0.052858973974202035,0.05739737096997542,0.04190497601458448,0.07592102751779964,0.05849506409554608,0.0,0.0,0.06079742489245574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07061779703834126,0.0,0.05921583979324545,0.0,0.0,0.07710090137382758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21546480088453984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057425792877374725,0.07732640334409759,0.12177144295903,0.0,0.0,0.045403974519105834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194413796425842,0.0,0.2780674224761832,0.2455493689238673,0.1980116199684476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05311052078922593,0.0,0.10774583541870413,0.0,0.07813624077041624,0.0,0.054979901109362316,0.07578918543869273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14635598884834564,0.06158005101429743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146055516964051,0.046076853302956855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037779247969354286,0.0,0.07754487851422409,0.218366115152068,0.0,0.0,0.14566522887990546,0.1679213114868804,0.0,0.060701156436012066,0.06083521940995178,0.11545328613413225,0.0,0.0,0.05844267473223695,0.12408613121907625,0.0,0.09177271256222956,0.13938882976672434,0.0690613875047115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13855315836324147,0.0,0.06941063690144762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05053387148539151,0.0,0.1060373784906704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07633075003451324,0.0,0.0,0.04765760561330319,0.060023565984675536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07749718408949421,0.0658366051344786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687614079995735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22141213958944286,0.0,0.058705980053745124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07726979327813853,0.13758490090401346,0.0,0.05824555578424154,0.0,0.06798839211175671,0.0,0.09731302270426978,0.0,0.0,0.05747206326314585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051686034377924364,0.0,0.06008424172424524,0.06328913915960549,0.0,0.0,0.045669665234514455,0.044047613872286964,0.06753945710256143,0.05457410869898339,0.16033793015557934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09334370469654166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12163886275062967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12745053828764175,0.0,0.0767488870812512,0.0,0.06626561113954875,0.0,0.05004558092316495,0.0,0.0,0.14649874950298555,0.0,0.0,0.1770724509616341
divorce,Jetlaya67,2018/03/14,"I am so angry and hurt. My ex was having an affair with my friend and they just got married My husband made my life a living hell to the point I told him I was leaving. It turns out he was having an affair with a friend of mine. Her and her husband were close friends and had known each other for ten years. Neither her husband or I suspected anything. She is 35, my ex is almost 70. She has a 5 year old. I am 51. Three of his kids are older than his new wife is. I am so hurt, angry. They just got married last week. I raised his 4 kids, we were together almost 25 years. We had been having trouble for a few years, but I hoped we could make it work. I can’t sleep, I am sick to my stomach. How do I handle this. It is killing me. ",0.052120253164559927,1.8569227405063309,2.077705696202532,97.75491297468358,84.25316455696202,4.456329113924051,18.735759493670887,5.148860815047168,-0.5823177215189874,555,14,133,2,16,185,95,158,0.159,0.7809999999999999,0.059,-0.9456,0,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,3,0,2,1,5,9,2,0,7,0,24,4,2,3,0,25,31,9,1,2,4,6,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,2,5,12,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,2,12,0,33,4,10,18,3,12,1,2,0,0,29,3,1,4,9,95,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3236511574339329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13298839039874766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12902965055688462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3745703730917263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585029828999876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16051173167958574,0.0,0.0,0.3460062290980744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17879366259329466,0.0,0.0,0.1317308773963238,0.0,0.17111796308620916,0.0,0.0,0.11414745937600113,0.0,0.0,0.1427015117122124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529159900447252,0.10787360229591116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560805772506502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957885020991265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527703905884075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16172322325089747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544219486282063,0.0,0.0,0.17578147962202814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1296309967418871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11765146615912947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4162771834742309
divorce,iwouldntlikeme,2018/03/14,"Should I tell my ex about our dog passing away? So, he and I were together five or so years, married for roughly one and some change. We got the dog together. He lit up my life and held me steady through everything. My ex-husband loved him in his own way, but didn't want anything to do with him during or after our separation. Today, I got the phone call that my mom had accidentally run over my sweet boy with the car and he would need to be put down. My heart is pretty shattered, but I'm overall okay. 

My question is, should I let my ex know?  We have been officially divorced for almost eight months, if that matters, and 98% no contact. He's never asked about the dogs or attempted contact. In fact, about a month after the divorce I got a letter for the two of us, called him to discuss it, and he legitimately didn't know who I was until I said, ""uhhh.... We were married?"" 

I'm leaning towards no, but I just know I would be upset if the roles were reversed and no one had told me. 

Sorry for rambling.",2.5917212402202243,4.256044857142862,3.947847000869313,88.0270211532889,75.79802955665025,6.35282526803825,25.73427991886409,7.048011613610866,1.0313184004636335,778,28,164,8,17,256,123,203,0.107,0.825,0.068,-0.7977,0,0,0,0,2,0,34.0,6,0,0,1,6,4,0,1,9,1,20,3,1,0,2,37,35,18,0,8,9,3,1,0,0,4,1,1,0,1,4,12,0,1,4,0,0,4,6,1,0,5,15,4,29,3,24,13,2,20,0,0,1,1,36,7,0,8,8,115,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356401754734705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261990328025045,0.0,0.14336728522179054,0.0,0.14408313756382649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31318752136627065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223045715826048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782660620924753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3679587329472032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817277590573457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25284156453556483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681703883873924,0.10831997384825984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13840989979492907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17960885253679074,0.2448148086530753,0.0,0.0,0.11371163137281792,0.11827770587430775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20783617273004246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15601832242285424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541652735186783,0.17179396906327254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14587680314953652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17166963834332946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13404002195256756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536368507880013,0.14653835949082356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14980666095519926,0.0,0.18446854887404893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045342209253822,0.12172696229226278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2178795974439342,0.0,0.0,0.09875632334274302
divorce,Wurzberger2,2018/03/14,"How long does it take to get served? My wife said she had talked to a lawyer about getting a divorce, and a few days later she completed all the paperwork. I would like to know whats going on so I can plan ahead. How long should it take once the lawyers have everything?",2.2249090909090903,4.173596218181821,2.6454545454545446,95.68818181818185,77.72727272727272,6.581818181818183,21.909090909090907,7.554174236665415,0.5807454545454545,212,6,48,3,5,65,44,55,0.0,0.944,0.056,0.4329,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,2,4,1,0,0,5,0,5,0,0,2,1,7,12,4,0,2,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,5,1,6,8,2,7,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,6,30,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840179234265144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17469851041658205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237053418105455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2434541038650333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28305261847129204,0.0,0.15395027191740282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14887139284845574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323408001676988,0.0,0.0,0.4794496626903462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28848384143227274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576738074182039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4073438378072765,0.21772722067356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924290367625268,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,saddownintexas,2018/03/14,"I feel like I have tried everything to move on, any advice for the next few months? I am just having a worse morning then usual and i am at the end of my rope with trying things. 

About 1.5 years ago my ex-wife decided to cheat on me. After a short period of me trying to fix things and her refusing to even show remorse we got divorced, she convinced me that giving her some space is the only way we could have a future together. Of course she moved away to another state and started dating her AP, as far as i know they are still together. Since then i have cut all contact, removed all her old pictures from my social media, and tried to heal. I have read numerous books recommended here, tons of online articles, listened to multiple audiobooks tried meditation multiple times (i am not very good at it), increased my workouts and fixed my diet. I have tried online therapy with multiple doctors over multiple months. The problem is i still think about her every day, i know no matter what i would have done if she was willing to cheat after less than a year of marriage then she probably would have done it eventually but i just cant turn off the feelings of love i have for her, or at least banish constant thoughts of her from my mind. Trying to sleep is the worst. I have to work out at night to make myself exhausted enough to fall asleep quickly or thoughts of her will drift in and keep me up all night. 

To make things work i live in a very remote area with no opportunities for travel (due to my job). We have internet, mail, and phone but no other way to contact the outside world and i am stuck here for at least the next 4 months. I feel that once i return to the US and move to a new city i have some hope. I can find a new therapist i can meet in person, try some dating, and see my dogs again who help me feel better. Before that happens though i need to find a way to get through the next few months. During the day i can distract myself with work but at night and when i wake up i go to a dark place with my thoughts. I need to forget her, to move on, and i need to make some progress on it before i start my new life. Sorry for the long rant, i am just hoping someone has some advice i haven not tried yet, something besides time that will kill the pain.",6.829465322043571,5.586214901531728,6.851034154695082,81.33391209209401,65.19256017505471,9.960955189801162,31.2481210160784,8.841846274778883,2.227891523166208,1778,52,373,23,23,569,226,457,0.121,0.8,0.078,-0.9563,1,0,1,0,1,0,43.0,4,0,1,6,15,17,4,1,22,0,35,10,3,3,3,70,66,25,1,10,11,0,4,1,0,5,5,1,0,1,13,21,1,2,13,5,0,10,6,9,0,0,8,6,66,8,70,52,17,83,0,0,1,1,33,25,0,10,45,261,79,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13658615868942411,0.061950891591429025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0475257735023682,0.0732829476270724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06566143681126634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893792215978664,0.0,0.0,0.06180965438009468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552336398412084,0.0,0.0557993374903533,0.0,0.0,0.09014307832631883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153263244211984,0.0,0.1430379835244587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06189942103614514,0.07221228265193765,0.0,0.04615991511931288,0.0,0.05888308052747021,0.0,0.06281021601511726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1413485135926324,0.04992751470405757,0.0,0.0,0.12775148701942474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03651323971865055,0.06704228464849474,0.03971857397843988,0.05861816745018069,0.05589527338423767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06180112544260907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04684399680769194,0.0,0.0,0.138827753907644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935238038160073,0.06211906031315944,0.07731996387746001,0.0,0.07681648569347366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04936348026905536,0.03414341395023208,0.0,0.06171178312928077,0.06184807814669375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06307603403911523,0.0,0.139950984479091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07056626962029594,0.0,0.223133565254508,0.2971166399236713,0.0,0.1554616846426898,0.0,0.2024928247447733,0.22297787003936914,0.19675354393652406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07333498504607168,0.07442771392868837,0.0,0.05315245539200888,0.07436503490733849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061022911327844334,0.0730173736651244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07535035030000578,0.06687272585643363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990623156589823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05569114495296357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057811512526051184,0.0,0.06993779085084166,0.07124132066896888,0.0592152986507037,0.05380267260158854,0.0,0.07823313193398587,0.09893320828428047,0.0,0.11162420656459904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07992224009087827,0.0811445639989081,0.13929008813086646,0.044780972130478505,0.0686639361438904,0.16644817454453362,0.08150371553126333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4270401190881783,0.07601733449366348,0.0,0.0,0.08406583983634958,0.0,0.07697100834383773,0.11532871484126513,0.0,0.16641990266016002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1526364018994361,0.0,0.07122114876776095,0.09929189259701944,0.0,0.0,0.09001028426397209
divorce,ArsenicCube,2018/03/15,"Can someone please answer this question? What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? I ask this because my STBX told me he wanted a divorce Tuesday because he wants a wife...not a girlfriend. Here's the thing, he liked me plenty when I was his girlfriend, however, when we got married I noticed things started to change a bit. Like, there would be different expectations and things of that nature. I never thought I would have to change to get married so could someone please provide some type of clarification on what this might mean? ",6.479610389610393,8.121052343434343,5.7782395382395375,78.82545454545458,65.96969696969697,7.6773448773448765,36.36507936507937,7.957251820313856,2.9379685425685413,438,22,73,5,7,133,68,99,0.0,0.887,0.113,0.857,2,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,8,0,9,0,0,0,1,17,18,5,0,6,0,1,0,2,3,3,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,0,5,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,10,2,7,9,2,6,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,3,7,52,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271211947213395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915579173351866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17833813502675466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34560962659291083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1304233229461821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34133625718602684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853447060453042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13064755998255148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961112459036486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779382749716909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17329071485645872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259871742875262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18597739603336091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3586230029198689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18299168522021425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768153303114227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1156214245052044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32557153838313674,0.0,0.0,0.12968328417983604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1560898877815389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1926985473692928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.232081224554996,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,femalebreezy,2018/03/15,"Co-parenting counselor quit due to ex's behavior, what now?! (As a note, I am writing this on behalf of my friend, with her permission. She's not a redditor and asked if I could crowd source the question to reddit for her. Thanks for understanding)
Anyways.
My friend and her ex have a 5 year old daughter. They have been attending court-ordered coparenting counseling for the past 4 years. Otherwise they only communicate via our family wizard. They have 5050 custody, 2-2-5-5. Her ex has always been difficult and struggles with parenting in general (their daughter doesn't get homework done with him, she complains about being at his house, she thinks his wife is mean...etc) Additionally, he has a lot of rage towards my friend, and has admitted in counseling that he can't see her without getting angry. They have been giving parallel parenting a try. Today he verbally and emotionally lashed out at her during a session and she had to leave. Later, my friend received an email from the counselor that she will have to remove herself as their counselor due to her ex's abusive behavior. She also mentioned that in these type of situations a Parenting coordinator is not recommended. My friend is not sure what happens now. Does she contact her attorney? Keep going to counseling, since its court ordered? She's exhausted and concerned for her daughter. Any advice or anecdotes would be helpful! Thank you!",5.230904209249958,7.959053330677293,5.68441364974883,73.74551186558116,71.47011952191235,8.986731335527455,33.22380045037242,9.54385415503706,3.7470313874935055,1130,56,179,29,23,362,150,251,0.086,0.792,0.122,0.8876,5,0,0,0,0,0,42.0,1,1,6,1,5,13,1,1,11,0,24,1,0,0,1,29,37,12,0,3,6,11,0,0,5,2,1,0,1,0,8,12,0,1,4,0,0,4,6,5,0,0,5,1,36,8,29,27,1,23,0,0,1,0,60,8,0,4,10,125,44,3,0.0,0.1475399836197507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12168292166094348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09958139684936976,0.10361352621306633,0.0,0.0,0.08468024914756163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641266176371735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942188107083716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897135278271868,0.12743077271338274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14007217553162413,0.0,0.0,0.13887661725051906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11738967218199915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4810327306612198,0.0,0.1301167770117787,0.11945428657091482,0.07076957390525271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11011571857571284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08346547627563121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436833985510618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106822070737814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13185240525425293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10586542551582892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13564259530088316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13066646468414894,0.0,0.0,0.09470573193670767,0.0,0.0,0.41480582653186265,0.0,0.11887176955087167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13949481698471616,0.13244606867222322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922910628050967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300712484057632,0.1399696297677847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13017899769743316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11736192376491493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292890145209716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07978962987083159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803371653182332,0.0,0.0,0.08454328161911134,0.0,0.0,0.12963335361012526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003620902869425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845792065887748,0.0,0.0,0.16037810088322274
divorce,throwawaysock1843657,2018/03/15,"It’s real this time I filed for divorce back in September on my wife.

She left the state with our child and after speaking to many lawyers and seeking legal advice, I was informed the only way to get my child back was to file for divorce.

The divorce was extremely messy. I had to hire a lawyer in the state where my wife fled to and filed a restraining order against me, not our home state.

The restraining order was thrown out and I served her with papers bringing they venue back to Texas. 

She then filed a restraining order here and we went to court to duke it out.

I didn’t go to the hearing in the other state by my lawyers advice. It had been over 2 months since I’d seen my wife, or child. 

Everything you can imagine was brought against me in court. I was accused of almost everything under the sun.

The judge saw through the claims and ultimately ordered my wife to stay in Texas or give the child to me entirely if she wanted to leave.  Custody was basically me 40% her 60%.

Shortly after the extremely messy 6 hour long court battle, she starts texting me. She said she knew this wouldn’t be easy but we need to try to be amicable, I agreed.

I then wake up to 6 pages of texts of her basically saying she wants to slow everything down and reconcile.

I meet her for coffee a few days later and we agree we can work things out.

She yelled and screamed at me in person and via phone to cancel the divorce. This was my first warning sign. Stupidly, I cancelled it.

We lived together again for basically 4-5 months. Things were awesome at first. I was amazed I could put everything behind me, everything that was done and said against me. I wanted our family to work, for us, for our child. 

Slowly I noticed my wife’s mental health beginning to decline again. She was very irritable, picked fights with me a lot. She yelled and verbally and emotionally abused me. I begged her to stop yelling and she wouldn’t. I locked myself in the bathroom and she’d come in and start yelling at me again. I had cried so much already, I had no more tears. Every time I tried to leave she would follow me out and I was worried she would start yelling in front of the neighbors. So I stayed in, under her control.

I tried to get her/us a counselor and when I told her I contacted one, she again got mad and started yelling.

A few nights ago she mentioned something trivial and I said “I tired to tell you that back then but you told me no.” Just trying to let her know I’ve been trying to help her and see things how they are. She started yelling at me and arguing right before going to bed on a work night. 

I woke up that morning and had enough. I texted her we needed to talk but not at work if she didn’t want to. She told me to talk so I told her I can’t handle the arguing and stress and it may be best to separate. She throws out the divorce card. I said “sure.” Maybe I didn’t mean that. I think we should see a counselor. She agrees to see a counselor and be separated. That’s where we are now.

I believe we will ultimately be divorced and that is the reason she agreed to go to the counselor. To help us through the divorce.

She texted me yesterday and said she left work early and took the child and moved her stuff out. It was devastating.

I immediately left work in a panic. I threw up on the way home. I didn’t sleep well and probably won’t for a long time. I’m tired of the verbal/emotional abuse, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and have issues with being alone. I need to work on that.

I Just got an awesome promotion and I love my boss/coworkers finally. I’m very concerned about my job performance. I can’t focus and it’s noticeably declined.

All that I can do now is go to counseling with her and be the best dad I can. I have our child tonight and this weekend. 

Sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening. Please ask away, I’ve been told I benefit form talk therapy. ",2.3708369037417896,4.4287371683804615,3.2604134532990585,90.93291381033993,77.70179948586119,6.58443301913739,23.91609540131391,7.594959193182576,1.0070744930019997,3039,102,647,44,72,965,315,778,0.123,0.789,0.08800000000000001,-0.9723,1,1,1,0,15,0,82.0,16,3,2,14,22,17,6,2,38,0,58,8,4,4,2,104,115,52,0,15,12,6,0,0,1,8,3,17,4,8,24,57,0,5,8,1,0,16,13,9,1,3,48,22,133,8,100,49,11,116,0,0,5,1,111,42,0,7,45,437,157,15,0.0,0.13358092016193113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101702483941788,0.0499695223905367,0.0,0.05644745001219445,0.058383392926666874,0.06220684024231271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052699309351201935,0.0,0.05296244416584514,0.17338338915984888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047967599914814064,0.06351085408383722,0.11831584942866348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048558656285640364,0.0,0.0,0.06322491046646955,0.04500768548240045,0.0,0.06192093632657305,0.03635465491349025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05768714167635588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12681965686549734,0.0,0.05824634936080553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04749502929265796,0.0,0.25331326272276583,0.0,0.05314159607063874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175171480331764,0.0,0.09589834925232946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05890307961038519,0.05407623454315513,0.12814783585845455,0.0,0.09017013454202676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059919775491599075,0.0635342547613935,0.06679994935698304,0.07556863467863442,0.0,0.11308949111843708,0.0,0.055514115613058586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05883671617658327,0.05593955527179004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030980047285981537,0.0,0.0,0.11937757608012335,0.18374188743327655,0.057643203807043235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977665776266529,0.14965977953045898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04792463916149479,0.05087706107622655,0.0,0.0,0.05715138296047662,0.056632282682466124,0.06140458419780805,0.0,0.0,0.05680874591782765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08998964662687775,0.05991349038679935,0.041439197768867085,0.12539522728512606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10580079765969352,0.0,0.0,0.12835759676142133,0.0,0.0,0.03819847304817911,0.042872713234533205,0.0,0.0661392652060318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04922101451005309,0.0,0.06187846988391705,0.0,0.0,0.053987870321535736,0.0,0.06077751134370834,0.0,0.0,0.05666846120302103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06416258042829097,0.0,0.05795881383462025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04814055694041911,0.26810882149470205,0.044828510583506,0.0,0.0,0.13476125249503676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04663070369758777,0.0,0.056411746725358015,0.0,0.0,0.043397177735013434,0.0,0.06310275990278033,0.19949854794393887,0.12016804844754385,0.0,0.0471287104221734,0.06457283155180765,0.0,0.0645313498392818,0.0,0.0,0.05312903452970518,0.0,0.0,0.13592671089156522,0.04927077032526957,0.05189887647959859,0.06446519272170607,0.0,0.11235123496750644,0.03612028385808627,0.0,0.0,0.098611213661246,0.12958042728036268,0.0,0.2693247042614295,0.06263029541889052,0.19136116656512836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034222474320088,0.0,0.0,0.09302401709630484,0.13299639078343933,0.08948940941858664,0.0,0.0,0.050684331466495175,0.052256515349085535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2872715002951382,0.05724752361404375,0.0,0.08008873355766144,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DesperateThrowaway6,2018/03/15,"I just don't understand My husband let me know he wanted a divorce on Sunday. And I am so confused that none of his reasons made any sense.

And I am so angry that he told me he thought he could find someone that better suits him. I am so angry that my husband of five years told me that he just wanted to be friends and wants nothing in his life to change. I'm angry that he still wants me to support him finanically, and still live in the same house. I am so angry and heartbroken. I am upset looking back at all things I have sacrificed and lost for him. 

I feel so sick to my stomach that our mutual friend told me that my husband told him that he was sadistic and enjoyed watching me fall apart when he told me wanted a divorce. 

And I am so upset that I feel ashamed to reach out and tell people in my life what I am going through. And I am so sad that no one really no one really knows what to say, and says things like ""I'm sorry"" or ""maybe he will be happier this way"". 

Please excuse any grammar mistakes, I writing this on my phone through blurry teared up eyes, and a cocktail of emotions.",6.737139393939394,5.148405897777781,7.019272727272727,81.16963636363639,65.57777777777778,9.604040404040404,33.78787878787879,8.00094639256281,2.3318000000000003,857,30,181,8,11,279,114,225,0.207,0.693,0.1,-0.9829,0,0,0,0,2,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,13,13,0,4,4,0,16,5,2,2,1,36,39,21,0,7,3,3,2,1,2,1,3,2,0,0,17,13,1,0,8,1,0,2,4,7,0,3,9,7,33,6,20,25,3,18,0,2,3,0,34,9,0,2,7,124,50,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15863340403964402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08968613596583122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1031553529196082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12338576858722082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09312461636011664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13120016910377674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11794966296564252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10660348987275248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18022587389014974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628711254416914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458266151544565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12820055007953876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1192685467551534,0.16476737427395793,0.05698261786512629,0.0,0.10299201365619302,0.0,0.09794513910713977,0.0,0.12732232904244095,0.0,0.0,0.11036411279719333,0.0,0.0,0.11717686750332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11191570149760477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15807158755341594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086094328896203,0.0,0.0,0.12803166186237475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149440435496129,0.11992156995380265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18550777740912056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882558140497376,0.0,0.0,0.13056481896872602,0.0,0.0,0.18629184288483355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13235752172622745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1019452907904438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15497598601651594,0.0,0.0,0.09259621526857237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5572550441514025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142252985353424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439756381671469,0.09258048743317453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510997054397439
divorce,Standard_Fake_Name,2018/03/15,"Do I need a divorce, or do I just need to try harder? So this will be a bit of a rant, but I've been feeling so unhappy with my marriage. I'm having a hard time deciding if it's truly bad enough to warrant divorce or if I'm just giving up too soon.

To give you some backstory my SO and I have been married almost 6 years. We're still fairly young (I'm 28, she's 27) and we own a home together, but have no kids. I have a pretty stable, yet very boring, marketing job that allows me to support my wife while she's going back to college. We've been kinda hermits for the past few years, being co-dependant on one other since we've had a hard time meeting friends our age that don't need to focus all of their time on kids.

On the outside, our marriage seems very good. My SO can be very affectionate, and we spend a lot (too much I feel) together just chilling around the house, watching anime or whatever. Our sex life is usually pretty great as well. My SO has been dealing with depression for most of our relationship though. It's not apparent most of the time, but she gets into these ruts that can last days. I try to be as understanding as possible, but she's been very reluctant to seek help. We've been to a few therapy sessions but nothing consistent. Just one or two sessions and it kinda fizzles.

About three years ago we tried for a child that ended in a somewhat early miscarriage. It was terrible. We lived those 12 weeks imagining what parenthood life would be like. My wife was happier than she's ever been(even without meds), and all she could talk about was the baby on the way. It came crashing down after a check-up appointment when we found out the baby stopped developing for no apparent reason. I was incredibly sad, but my wife was absolutely DEVASTATED. It was to the point where I really couldn't grieve much since my attention was focused on her. Her depression ramped up since then, and she had decided that she absolutely does NOT want a child. She developed a fear so bad she was afraid to have sex. She didn’t want to have any kind of sexual contact until she or I was sterile. She was contemplating having her uterus removed but I love my SO, and knew major surgery like that could have some huge complications down the road so I elected to have a vasectomy after she brought up how simple it was compared to a hysterectomy. 

I really regret that decision. I feel less like a man, and I’ve become very noticeably depressed myself since the operation. I just wanted to move on with our lives and be happy together, so I thought this simple operation would help.

After the operation things were okay but every holiday or significant date became miserable. My SO’s ruts were terrible. Wouldn’t get out of bed, wouldn’t eat, crying on and off all day. It was terrible. 

We found out though, that weed was able to calm her down. Our first smoke together was pretty amazing actually. It was the first time in a while where my SO seemed very level-headed. Her mood swings were much less severe, and she was able to look past little things that would annoy the shit out of her like people whistling or birds chirping. The only issue though is that we became pretty dependent on the stuff since it was always in the house. If we run out the mood swings come back twice as bad. I never wanted to become a regular user, but now I need it just to get sleep. I really want to quit because I feel like it makes me suuuper boring, and it keeps me inside since I don't want to drive around stoned off my ass. I know as soon as we run out though my SO will be a wreck for at least a couple of weeks.

We’ve recently been trying to cut back since my SO’s future career will require frequent drug testing and it’s been pretty miserable lately. She’s been more critical of things I may or may not be doing, or just about me in general. I hear all the time about how I’m not romantic enough, or I’m not doing enough around the house, or I’m too skinny, or too boring. Shit like that.

I know I’m not perfect, but I feel like I put a LOT of effort into the relationship though. I handle at least half of the chores around the house while she’s in school. I’m the only one that cooks meals, I work hard, and get paid very well for our area. I’ve also been working out since the “I want someone who can throw me around” conversation, and I’m in okay shape, while she’s been gaining weight. It’s just getting to the point where I feel like no matter what I do it won’t be enough. I mean, I fucking sterilized myself for her!

I’m not happy when I see her anymore, and I’m just so emotionally tired of dealing with these ruts. I’m even having a hart time being intimate with her after the weight gain. I hate my job, but I’m starting to dread 5pm. I want to kick weed and start going out more and meeting new people. I’m feeling more and more depressed as time goes on. I find myself daydreaming about being in a relationship with someone who has their shit somewhat together. Who can hold a job, and gets along with their family, and doesn’t need to be stoned constantly to feel normal. I’m basically just ready to give up.

I just can’t tell if all of this is severe enough to warrant a divorce. I know a lot of people have it harder out there with spouses they can’t trust or spouses that cheat. My wife, at least when she’s high, is very loving and I can trust her completely. When she’s not high though I just feel scared to be around her. I can’t handle the mood swings and all the super critical nitpicking. Part of me feels like it’s my fault. I have a hard time standing up for myself if it means hurting her. I want to tell her I’m not happy, but I’m afraid it would devastate her again. Like I said, we’re pretty damn co-dependent and if I were to leave she would be fucked since she doesn’t get along with her family and wouldn’t have much of a support network, and has a hard time keeping work in a field she’s not interested. Plus there’s the fact that I can’t have kids anymore which I imagine could make dating in my 30’s challenging. 

Should we try counseling again? Do I just need to stand up for myself and demand things change, or should I just jump ship?
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divorce,quietleverage,2018/03/15,"What do you want to (or need to) say to your ex? I’m still trying to process through some of my feelings. My counselor suggested the age-old “write a letter but never send it” exercise. 

What do you want to say to you ex? Would you/did you actually follow through with saying it? ",2.253035714285716,4.131902517857147,3.5280000000000022,89.71700000000001,77.39285714285714,6.622857142857143,25.485714285714288,7.554174236665415,1.2010328571428577,215,8,46,3,5,70,39,56,0.0,0.941,0.059,0.2824,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,5,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,11,9,2,0,4,2,2,1,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,4,7,0,10,8,1,4,0,0,0,0,14,0,0,2,2,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.2800729621750182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511704745120962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128086584827883,0.2213539601152016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30116076170239225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6847075335354555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229200504045242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19485580443901074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33856292761431417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20387828528637772,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TAmarriage,2018/03/15,"Noob question: why is pro se not advisable when kids are involved? Thanks in advance.
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divorce,throwaway189010,2018/03/15,"Vent/what do I do now? Sorry, long, mobile excuse, throwaway. Just found out my husband is having another affair him 30s me 30s, 2 kids. The first affair was a few years ago. It was online, someone he met playing an internet game. We split up for 6 months but reconciled for the kids. Tonight I found out it's another online affair with another girl from the same game. I guess years ago I found messages with one girl and not the other. He says they haven't talked but she recently texted him and they started up again. We moved to another state for a fresh start but I have no friends or family here. I've been a stay at home mom for 10 years, since I was in college, so no job history. No parents or anyone that can help me get on my feet. I feel completely lost. How do I find a job, an apartment, and raise my children with no income? The first time we separated he stopped paying our mortgage and I didn't find out for 8 months, we cohabited, and eventually forclosed. The house was not in my name so my credit is ok. I'm terrified of what will happen now. Since his credit is bad the credit cards are in my name plus my student loans and car payments it comes out to 500 a month just in debt. I don't know if counseling will help, he's a compulsive liar and won't admit to anything until caught red-handed. I'm worried if I leave I'm setting myself up for failure and my children will be devastated. Also, the possibility that he will get the kids because I can't provide for them. If/when I file for divorce should I move to my home state first so he can't force me to stay in our current state? I know noone here but he has friends and coworkers. Like previously stated, I have no parents and my few remaining family members cannot afford their bills so I have no were to go. I was also diagnosed with cin-1, pre cervical cancer, recently so I'm scared to lose my insurance. If you've made it this far thank you and sorry for my rambling mess.",2.3562323745064866,4.3585605989847735,3.8326480541455163,87.07765792442189,77.52791878172589,7.017371686407219,24.650028200789624,7.984000788550335,1.3950887760857302,1532,54,315,26,36,506,203,394,0.17800000000000002,0.726,0.097,-0.9883,9,0,0,0,1,0,46.0,6,1,4,5,15,15,1,1,17,1,33,3,1,2,0,56,57,30,0,4,13,4,1,1,2,6,2,1,2,7,9,25,0,1,10,3,7,6,15,6,0,4,15,2,49,9,38,35,3,54,0,2,0,0,51,16,0,6,26,196,58,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011845312986564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14445051862866515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37881463570307017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06315068581870699,0.0,0.07432194732593858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540965602241967,0.05505548030310623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07779879172903628,0.0946940658497422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09166831435930037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17028279944685354,0.0,0.04566622200113202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650934309508826,0.23046691171044545,0.0,0.2970787971267888,0.1395550366229191,0.0,0.09437222471418248,0.0,0.051328370444565126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09949268704287803,0.0,0.07986568355478198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107312928980853,0.0,0.18118758712167604,0.0,0.0,0.10421194166629844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792483624095619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927005526594504,0.0,0.0,0.09563105622139256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044123583098198714,0.0,0.0,0.07992636060199773,0.0,0.1010399239359936,0.09859001878533458,0.0,0.0,0.08545869397562719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10577640241032588,0.21626687117877616,0.19198213117526555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06120010882429019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005693120351086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181713719870394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835128791038926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0718224972679161,0.09042155438341187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14941980205575994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07652401586166573,0.0,0.0,0.2022015784920128,0.12785152777240594,0.19252857654588448,0.0,0.0755077880455476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07259216433598749,0.0,0.08315036269653285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05266368457321769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0917197572447889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17448063028507715
divorce,throwaway19283746559,2018/03/15,"When is it over? I am 30 and I’ve been married to my husband for almost 5 years. I have been somewhat unhappy for over a year. I recently found out some things and feel as though I can’t trust him now. We don’t have kids and don’t own any property together. He is military and currently deployed. I don’t look forward to talking to him now. Is there any coming back from this? We cannot go to counseling until he gets back, which will be several months from now. I feel like by that point something will have had to happen. I can tell I’m distancing myself from him. I have talked with him about this issue with him, but it is not productive and I’m not even sure how to make it better. I kind of want this to end. But I also feel like I haven’t tried hard enough and I’m a failure. Sometimes I feel that if I caught him cheating and had no doubt about it, I would feel relief for not having to make this decision anymore and could call it quits without feeling guilty. I feel like I’m at a critical age where I need to make a decision. If I want to start a family and find someone else, I will have to do so soon. I always wanted to be that couple that were old and had been married for 50+ years. I apologize, this post is a mess. ",1.8879755244755287,3.4284908115384627,3.4513986013986013,91.36723776223776,77.42307692307692,7.034965034965035,22.97202797202797,7.84624498591911,0.9348076923076918,961,29,217,15,22,318,136,260,0.114,0.785,0.101,-0.6612,1,0,1,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,0,2,16,11,1,1,6,0,34,0,0,4,1,50,60,21,0,8,8,1,8,3,0,4,0,0,0,1,16,16,0,0,11,0,0,4,11,3,0,0,9,9,30,8,32,44,4,29,0,0,1,0,17,7,0,6,22,154,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11893568072959515,0.0,0.0,0.09498406523112857,0.09883004500866696,0.0,0.0,0.16154170484245658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.117792562569543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18266078815319414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504654851946772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12128222367660872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231386607188472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09483191374909568,0.1314219195121685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09922100069916936,0.0,0.1051991084631336,0.1227259904520868,0.0,0.0784495530975979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11197019355795844,0.0,0.4203923136331024,0.25455795611948484,0.0,0.0,0.10855790178906026,0.0,0.0,0.13023030129606614,0.0,0.0,0.06205486580011362,0.0,0.06750238535379853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10503205344658004,0.0,0.10639877968758167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12396990278292765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1236855471837159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17408192099348047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09974081340677024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378490549554758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094804812953209,0.0,0.0,0.08806991703006882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463404207769666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228045988784947,0.0,0.11375330695090392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12633148785207668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727566315275575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13418157565383465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10063739726732944,0.091438548145966,0.11747119131051358,0.0,0.08406932677792264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11194372619013897,0.0,0.0,0.1909331704175677,0.10381430175218748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890861682729884,0.0,0.11669551580601745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08064020821389156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21016914318968904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11449454887367384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08437412179286967,0.0,0.0,0.2294609908763239
divorce,qnyc1234,2018/03/15,"Divorced dating divorced If you yourself are divorced, have you ever dated a divorced person?  I'm curious what your experiences have been and what you've found were the benefits and negatives of this scenario.",7.2041666666666675,9.989539972222225,7.1177777777777775,65.405,65.94444444444444,9.244444444444444,39.77777777777778,9.725611199111238,4.885844444444444,173,10,22,4,3,55,28,36,0.0,0.8640000000000001,0.136,0.5994,0,0,0,0,4,0,3.0,0,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,1,5,7,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,1,1,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,1,3,19,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4677546099999612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5058317349245027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5669832240701174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4515195503963333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Dirtydirtysouth305,2018/03/15,"Retirement funds- he got half. Question about timing. So, he got half my retirement. Not a lot, a couple thousand. no big deal. But how does this work: do I have to pay half now or does he get that when he retires? Anyone experience this? 

",0.1826086956521742,2.445163239130437,2.043804347826089,90.65092391304348,101.3913043478261,4.908695652173913,18.793478260869566,6.6274283507984215,0.4809652173913044,183,6,36,3,8,60,36,46,0.08800000000000001,0.912,0.0,-0.4515,0,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,6,5,5,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,2,0,2,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,3,3,24,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1979640903825945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3132669005333625,0.0,0.0,0.2918842934247116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4955204486216293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27694569138561725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14791851727911648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4528738630488669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2406985038064169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3171592006868271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16508955172177378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20611473560234328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Tactus73,2018/03/16,"The tipping point for irreconcilable differences? First time posting, feeling like a lost soul and have run out of in-person friends to have face-to-face talks about topics like this.  I'm 44, wife of 15+ years is 40.  We met in college - very much an 'opposites attract' scenario.  We've had some ups and downs over the course of our relationship, but now, three children later (11, 8, 4), we've hit a major bump in the road.  For the past several years, we've been attending couples therapy together.  While we still care very deeply for one another, our paths have diverged and it seems that we just can't help but make each other feel poorly about ourselves.  I'm very divided - wanting desperately to make it work, probably more for our kids than for myself...but part of me also just wants to be free.  The topic of 'taking a break' has come up more than once.  There's never been any kind of abuse, cheating, or any one unforgivable offense...but we have definitely grown apart.  I guess my question for the group is - for those of you who have split because of irreconcilable differences, what was the tipping point for you?  Every situation is different, but I would be interested to hear other experiences - might help trigger some realization that applies to my relationship.  Thanks for reading.",6.381610169491527,7.705852542372884,6.412500000000005,75.35951271186444,65.9491525423729,9.628813559322039,32.54661016949153,9.827888789773867,3.1814542372881367,1024,42,182,22,16,325,154,236,0.08800000000000001,0.799,0.113,0.5025,1,0,0,0,1,0,43.0,7,2,0,3,8,11,1,0,11,0,18,0,0,3,1,31,36,9,0,3,6,1,2,2,1,2,0,1,0,2,10,10,0,0,4,1,2,4,2,2,0,4,6,3,14,10,33,25,8,27,1,1,0,0,23,11,0,7,12,112,24,3,0.0,0.1410800423151953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09522129077581552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619451600833716,0.12485665997899227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258477087535961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1214011453961845,0.0,0.0,0.10256939801346747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13175014968808504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3732125559137939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003227217516834,0.0,0.0,0.1164745979655115,0.0,0.0,0.12041207314682024,0.0850645740769542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128200310400098,0.0,0.0,0.09199420568133244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13117048208502716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1342020303399026,0.0,0.15962199040460862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12399445553828214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11634446386627732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12998041039208152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15896206005752847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263158527622811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08753111997810031,0.0,0.09183514171789957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680706865528674,0.16137161467311906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1289426350492092,0.11366704717509618,0.0,0.10396848294587678,0.0,0.0,0.22512176739134448,0.0,0.11403740923833187,0.0,0.12837902092287365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13338712801862945,0.0,0.11910354137845346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25567607079295296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1083980568011367,0.0,0.1345166981535295,0.0,0.0,0.1338411514357646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09509050915490393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08952681327086065,0.09570501586155124,0.0,0.10962487278837464,0.1361684304316898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06943144364837275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29473892496848353,0.14046269794182126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08668533835618793,0.0,0.0,0.08458484868638695,0.0,0.0,0.15335605104409702
divorce,jpagel,2018/03/16,Is there a more lighthearted sub for divorcees? Something with memes and jokes and shit. I process pain through humor better,4.9471428571428575,8.531718000000001,2.3114285714285714,90.95857142857146,83.28571428571428,4.704761904761905,30.809523809523807,6.42735559955562,1.8134952380952387,102,5,16,1,3,27,20,21,0.23,0.433,0.337,0.2944,0,0,1,0,1,0,2.0,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,3,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,1,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4686894823857666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5638942664844352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5439765112520566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4079742400360397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway_sadhusband,2018/03/16,"Interesting article regarding shared custody agreement http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/parenting/why-modern-custody-agreements-look-so-different-anything-goes-as/article_c598408e-972b-5d44-9eda-73baa6232475.html?utm_content=buffer22f92&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=LEEDCC

This would have never worked in my situation in which my ex-wife cheated. I had too much animosity towards her and living under one roof post-divorce would not have allowed me to heal emotionally. 

Edit: added a word.",31.27191489361703,40.97605193617021,17.199404255319156,-11.505999999999974,19.0,9.71744680851064,37.05957446808511,9.888512548439397,5.078807659574469,479,13,30,7,5,116,43,47,0.118,0.7240000000000001,0.158,0.2732,3,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,0,1,0,5,1,0,1,1,7,5,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,5,3,5,2,1,5,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,1,24,7,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7148060284768918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473652920534497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194181529728712,0.0,0.18466613348104247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16165663134427327,0.0,0.16960550319536508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490143827085113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21060970577446428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2471841978231023,0.0,0.22416705410073126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009460165831174,0.0,0.0,0.31243063506619034,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Mirelurk_Prime,2018/03/16,"Divorcing while Deployed Apologies for the long post.

Hi all, sometime lurker lately (for obvious reasons lol), just looking to vent/ask about coping strategies/get words of encouragement if you have them.

I'm a late 20s Dad in the Air Force. I have 2 toddler-age daughters and my SO left me just prior to my deployment. Been a difficult time, obviously miss my kids. I think I'm in a good place with my feelings towards the ex, I realize that things will be better if we're divorced, but I'm trying to figure out coping strategies to get over her and stop the negative thoughts. Her reasons for leaving were irreconcilable differences, but I'm getting inklings that she was unfaithful, and think about her with other people pretty often. When we talk, she seems overly happy, having reverted to a 'party girl' mentality. I'm dealing with feelings of inadequacy, since she's so happy and I'm not. I feel like I may never find someone else. Also feeling guilt at failing my marriage (I don't do failure well). I've resigned myself to a divorce once I get home. I'm successful in my career, and I'm a great Dad, just want to get through this. Any tips?",4.35138124362895,6.381457114678903,5.371865443425076,78.12020387359837,71.88990825688073,7.596738022426095,31.37716615698267,8.344100000000001,2.610207135575944,913,42,158,15,18,300,142,218,0.113,0.713,0.174,0.9488,0,0,0,0,2,0,33.0,1,1,1,3,11,14,0,1,10,1,11,0,0,2,4,40,34,14,0,3,8,4,4,1,0,2,0,0,1,2,5,10,0,1,13,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,4,5,24,9,26,27,1,21,0,3,1,0,24,11,0,5,10,99,29,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10865411925651187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09239534873634918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12701885728090168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016478956281453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1400746237022197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14195383276119244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11350083212889145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747971099535095,0.09706459869381677,0.0,0.0,0.12418149484888195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35492883846809203,0.0,0.0,0.11396018675162176,0.0,0.14979567860789006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892694325841654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13628734521560612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3065315356635123,0.1438652943021476,0.14762169791685995,0.0,0.0,0.06637856486068608,0.0,0.0,0.12023948960561355,0.1140954559932763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13692365381784616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10479028753819022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14469568988178014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09419422220135527,0.0,0.14195383276119244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012461984218726,0.1382272740840194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27939122517028103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12368972626693515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11239196055492187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11512107570613672,0.0,0.1343775800582821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11359228454121012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109206083241926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09026510122784162,0.17411830389429106,0.0,0.10786454029906227,0.07922610896005751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224590228709904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013885659875075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12216224356977902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Justneedtotalk2,2018/03/16,"I'm about 90% sure it is time. It's been rocky with my wife for 6 months and VERY rocky for the past 3. We did counseling, and things seemed to get better, but we seem to have hit a ceiling. 

I've been trying to keep lines of communication open, but she is constantly freezing me out. If I'm honest with myself, she is doing it to make me make the first move.

I think I am ready to make the first move.

I was supposed to work tomorrow (Saturday) but luckily got the first half off. I texted her to see if she wants to ""hang out"". I'm pretty much going to go off of her answer when I make my decision. 
",2.6853980752405917,3.3995577322834656,4.221994750656169,89.92639545056869,74.03937007874016,7.8491688538932625,21.985126859142607,8.167268648758528,0.7656376202974626,460,10,109,7,9,154,79,127,0.012,0.833,0.155,0.961,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,2,0,0,5,2,3,0,0,5,0,10,0,0,4,1,26,28,8,0,3,5,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,9,0,1,5,0,0,5,0,0,0,4,5,2,17,3,20,22,1,20,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,4,10,69,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106104647397428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1845769647330404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4358538905305757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923732477350224,0.0,0.1941421420265803,0.0,0.13660646666050633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15181722582011006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560483284260257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13633303004550454,0.3630723307049824,0.12555958615792992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305043745207107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17376767978661256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13610758255004468,0.3109845996642049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16097945780050574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11347367811457935,0.10944342886231163,0.0,0.0,0.09959638735364572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596377427300325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093005799131755,0.1007438167626206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12434634919199287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nharmsen,2018/03/16,"Going through a divorce that doesn't need to be this long So, let me start off. Married way too early (dated about 9 months), legally married for 5 years (separated at 4.5). No kids, no property, just physical items (she already took everything from the house that she wanted).

Her attorney is $10k retainer, mine was $2k. She is willing to fuck me over as much as possible (her family will keep giving her money to do just that).

Basically, if we go to court she won't get anything (literally). But her lawfirm she is going through will continue to push (to get more money from her). She's already tried getting me kicked out of the military (twice).

Any advice on how to deal with this BS?",4.295454545454547,5.833494000000003,5.470121212121214,79.35518181818183,71.12121212121212,8.916363636363636,30.624242424242425,9.3871,2.8490096969696967,536,23,101,12,10,178,96,132,0.06,0.91,0.029,-0.6249,1,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,1,0,0,0,7,1,1,0,3,0,12,1,0,1,0,12,25,6,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,1,5,3,0,2,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,1,2,0,16,0,22,17,3,18,0,0,0,1,16,5,1,1,7,71,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18667930609872632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216285227743158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991182275505778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1572073089035462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969509281123064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17169188524109352,0.0,0.18009283675119353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766107801825282,0.2994271009375091,0.1832602556151008,0.32571246899413103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22043123861011168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16980260937177144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953484437922874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16906187893046848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248404204617155,0.0,0.1404342968729976,0.1416516368008012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21536569903201552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13521708824556233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21224931884921652,0.12970169463830852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11267866918233865,0.1516364090754767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12302167049265204
divorce,ezkb420,2018/03/16,"I started listening to this song https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ3GA6dazTA

For me it seems dead on. And has helped me. ",9.10921568627451,13.565270117647062,5.361176470588237,66.71862745098042,83.11764705882355,6.972549019607843,23.31372549019608,7.793537801064563,1.9448196078431368,100,3,14,2,3,27,16,17,0.223,0.777,0.0,-0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,3,4,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,10,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5025334036188058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6825330807097504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5306682315573035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Chiswicker,2018/03/16,"Order to vacate Ok some background I live in Mass.  Filed for divorce in May 17.  Wife accusing me of hiding assets.  Wife quit her 85 k job voluntarily due to stress.  Told the court I forced her to quit.    I continue to work and pay for everything including mortgage.  Last court session judge said “BUY HER OUT GET HER OUT!”  I have refinanced and should be closing next month.  Wife has made no effort to leave or find a place to live.  I have now had my attorney file a motion for her to vacate.  The living situation has become intolerable.  Hearing is next month.  She wants to sit around till divorce is final and I know she will want me to open our deck and swimming pool for her to sit around all summer.
I am planning on having the buyout check for half her share of the marital home in hand the day of the hearing.

How likely do you think the judge will order her to vacate if I have done everything in the way of buying her out and giving her a huge check.  Wife is telling her attorney she will not waste money on rent and she is going to tell the judge that??????  ",3.8155,5.2683360142857145,4.643988095238097,85.14455357142859,72.19047619047619,7.5357142857142865,24.077380952380953,8.07648339933343,1.2297380952380954,833,23,168,12,16,269,122,210,0.067,0.846,0.087,0.6579999999999999,3,0,0,0,2,0,21.0,1,1,0,5,4,4,0,1,12,1,20,1,1,2,1,27,32,10,0,4,3,4,1,1,0,5,0,3,2,0,1,13,0,0,3,2,7,3,2,1,0,1,5,4,28,3,33,21,2,36,0,0,0,0,31,16,0,4,13,109,29,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24445053809774184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15163602046016542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0885465327384225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14050460363841938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24679107711661785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15040440486911902,0.12548884992365442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07173309002005522,0.13170976546855634,0.0780302176585099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3094920297072297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13772214798240895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13624812762033206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07545597057030849,0.11191705580950216,0.0,0.1453798760264087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06707738358349444,0.0,0.3637127460028979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12991568666556516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21918159339229729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920382076430618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1434482910447683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29206889334515124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13060284355020066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543298916987069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15727560491553694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2400108535226324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08797569127727672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13119513195709828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16196508120653272,0.10898160001354598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09995534808886426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Dudu100,2018/03/17,"Regrets divorcing my husband. I regret divorcing my ex husband. I am 33 years old. We have two kids. Our difficult marriage ended because I didn't boost his ego. He is a successful man and he wants hear that from me at the time. This was the biggest part of divorce. Successful man have education, carrier and prospects. He has it all and more. Total winner.
He said my friends and their SO are losers.
Well now...
He is engaged to 24 yearold skinny blonde. My ex husband is 37 yearsold... Yes, she is 13 years younger than him.
By the way, I am chubby. He is a chubby chaser.
And my girlfriends and their SO fat too. I am sure his skinny blonde will be around to see my fat friends. I am mad to this life and beyond. I have nothing to show for. I am dating a loser. My boyfriend doesn't have carrier, style and confidence. My boyfriend has smoking habits and missing teeth. I didn't want my ex husband to control my life but I am with a loser now.
My ex has a new car that his parents got and he sold his house to his brother to keep his assets.
His parents have overseas business bank account he can take as much as money without working.
He will pay me based on his U.S. Salary while he is getting big money to blow on anything. 
Sad thing is, his skinny blonde has masters degree and carrier. He can't have kids anymore due to vasectomy and skinny blonde is ok with this. Skinny blonde is enjoying unprotected sex while I use condoms with my loser boyfriend.
I can't date a better guy. My girl friends dating or married to losers. These losers don't have house, teeth in their mouths and they are fat.
My husband became better man for her.
Question remains...
Did I make a mistake about him?
Better yet...
How did he get her?
More disturbing...
How did she get a better guy out of same guy?I




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divorce,NoLickyDickie,2018/03/17,Filed for divorce I finally filed. After the abuse and the cheating I received for years. After all the drunken rages. After all the nights alone with the kids. I finally got so mad he slept with someone who supposed to be my friend and my neighbor and I filed. He thought moving would fix the problem and tattooing my name on him would make me forgive him. But two weeks later he was trying to get with his baby momma and telling me to go eff myself again. He will be back apologizing for the millionth time. Meanwhile. I'm waiting for him to be served. So we can get this started. I just don't know how to not fall prey to his empty promises and fake apologies once he's left standing alone again. I took the first step. Out of anger. ,2.27581609195402,4.698397593103451,2.8282758620689665,92.00264367816094,79.9655172413793,4.9701149425287365,24.83908045977012,6.079149491110277,0.6494735632183901,581,22,115,4,15,180,94,145,0.196,0.755,0.049,-0.971,0,2,0,0,2,0,14.0,1,0,0,1,7,9,4,0,8,0,9,1,1,2,2,26,21,10,0,3,3,1,0,0,2,3,0,0,1,1,2,11,0,1,3,0,0,6,2,6,0,2,5,0,18,3,19,10,2,25,0,0,0,0,23,3,0,0,15,75,20,0,0.0,0.2195336918753457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3838009733085471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247354893939798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059436606357264,0.0,0.15760423442654947,0.0,0.0,0.14315155618710484,0.0,0.1936086458158789,0.0,0.1053023421224337,0.0,0.14819019444476922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182837709037666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20131385456083065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12367988887674493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19692976694287725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17387842279745208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19732361488515893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1772937432400359,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15699228378096505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1311464322923119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16194818987526707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709644100060332,0.1080417960345378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20585963863529386,0.12579707738706825,0.0,0.1809975649029476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1486253071260047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26324381257773377,0.0,0.0,0.11931815267646978
divorce,atx1970,2018/03/17,"We told the kids tonight and it was awful and a relief I have been sick thinking of how and when to tell the kids about the soon to be official divorce and we did it tonight.

We had a family meeting, and I told them we had some bad news - that we were getting divorced.

My son says, “stop joking, what is the real news?” And the rest of the kids laughed.

I said I was serious and their faces went blank and they started bawling. Hugs, comforting, and all.

They never saw it coming, because we never fought in front of them. At the end they were in fairly good spirits and we had a group hug. I dreaded it so much, but I am glad it is over.

",3.4293808312128924,4.114933549618321,4.228651399491096,90.67027141645464,72.2824427480916,7.04359626802375,26.769296013570823,6.937597516519254,1.0128110262934698,489,16,109,4,9,157,81,131,0.084,0.779,0.138,0.7529,0,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,7,0,6,0,5,12,1,1,10,1,14,4,1,1,3,29,24,14,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,3,7,18,0,1,1,1,0,3,2,4,0,0,15,3,20,8,10,8,4,16,1,0,1,2,27,4,0,1,9,82,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019196240194684,0.14741854650164934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20831686024964147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21419137813348185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22797769314230024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634724209922915,0.0,0.0,0.2028372133316373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777743502557981,0.0,0.3730315036214175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752577670541776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23003761706447465,0.19231451792016246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1711699388367697,0.0,0.0,0.20218238587596551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.211371832776118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15495618495661406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4621616912080445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22418069274968488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Weaselpiggy,2018/03/18,"How screwed am I? I’m a 33 year old male, my wife of 4 years wants a divorce.  It was amicable until I found out that she had changed her Facebook status to in a relationship with another man before she had informed me of the divorce.  We had been separated for about a month at that point.

She wants alimony but between this infidelity and a previous infidelity I do not want to support her at all.

No kids, no assets.

I haven’t spoken to a lawyer yet but I am calling one tomorrow.

Will I be paying no matter what?

Thanks in advance.",1.4281464174454823,3.8508815887850494,3.8781542056074763,83.13972352024922,83.57943925233644,6.931152647975078,26.67367601246106,8.07648339933343,2.009978816199377,418,19,83,9,12,145,78,107,0.142,0.7909999999999999,0.066,-0.7923,0,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,1,0,0,1,3,3,1,0,7,0,11,1,0,1,1,15,18,5,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,4,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,1,0,1,6,0,14,2,15,10,1,14,0,0,0,1,15,6,1,0,7,63,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.259274639794716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21040083624118952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25248105068633475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2615692738839326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27110884271138497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1973613119790133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2594587478785712,0.0,0.16755040249556707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2337414966897297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654656995074385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805887684407701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2276446399377469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.43752270106681457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3184558589144413
divorce,Earrg,2018/03/18,"What should I do? I've been married for a little over 12 years until she told me that she wanted a divorce. We have a house together and much debt. I have $50K in stocks and another $40K in my 401K. She wants half of everything. I have $40K in debt of which $20K is shared. Her debt totals around $60K. She wants alimony and child support. I would like to use all the stock proceeds to clear off the debt. Issue is, we have a house in which she wants me to sell. May net around $110K, not sure what to do. ",-0.14777075098814407,1.4117308869565264,2.031620553359684,99.11754940711462,83.6086956521739,5.5731225296442695,17.41106719367589,6.574015621080383,-0.4520434782608693,392,8,102,4,11,132,68,115,0.111,0.795,0.094,-0.193,4,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,2,0,0,0,2,4,0,0,6,0,12,0,0,1,4,20,19,4,0,6,1,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,5,7,0,0,0,0,5,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,15,4,16,14,3,12,0,0,0,0,12,9,0,1,4,62,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21586444739872632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36652197479357257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850156552121151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4750746371431497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2148666334508801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10057386367944124,0.206327988411939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15133239065856305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233609964683443,0.1940226703616864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19671013703799745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777988285605027,0.0,0.0,0.4856913948594666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1462385876977963,0.0,0.0,0.1325684958233497
divorce,mrlockdown29,2018/03/18,"When do you realize you're better off? I've been separated for a year now, my STBX is finally getting her things in order and will file soonish. Recently, I realized that if she were to wake up tomorrow and want to fix things, I don't think I could ever forgive her for the things (and men) she's done over the last year, even thought we were separated it still felt like cheating. But also, I still want to be with her, and it still hurts to realize we aren't going to have a life together. Does that ever stop? ",5.397339743589747,5.163586105769231,6.3738461538461575,80.2378205128205,67.75,10.394871794871797,30.794871794871803,10.125756701596842,2.7710179487179487,401,14,85,9,6,134,71,104,0.085,0.8140000000000001,0.1,-0.2869,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,2,1,0,1,9,5,1,0,4,0,12,2,1,0,2,22,19,8,0,4,2,0,1,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,7,7,0,1,7,0,0,1,2,2,0,0,6,1,13,3,12,10,0,20,0,1,0,0,10,4,0,1,15,63,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1502606799892559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617909301576902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15001998293027025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644294023435767,0.19228324933454066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1241037974592303,0.3399260948918803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18041000624147016,0.205831317505344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09816811176777536,0.0,0.10678585191607977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20114697807453166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316064093092724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271678124534533,0.0917966880678557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1855250230514336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4501629136632984,0.15708980049251395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3744900492297245,0.1203964236273723,0.0,0.14916875018610232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216523251670105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2419982371863169
divorce,boomtuff,2018/03/18,"My husband just walked out. This will be my second divorce. A part of me is so hopeful that he won't file the petition tomorrow. That he will come home. That he will tell me that he loves me, and that he still wants to work on our life together. 


But I know he won't. And it's killing me. For the second time in my life, I feel like the ultimate failure. One month shy of 29 and I'm once again starting my life over with nothing. I thought I was going to have a family with this man. We had planned so much. And now, it's all over. 



My heart is broken. ",-0.3714769975786929,1.7167824576271191,1.4971428571428582,99.34101694915256,88.83050847457628,5.06634382566586,19.445520581113804,6.5431188927421005,-0.07125133171912834,422,13,103,5,14,138,76,118,0.069,0.8170000000000001,0.114,0.762,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,2,0,0,2,6,4,1,0,5,0,11,5,1,0,1,17,21,7,1,2,2,1,1,1,0,5,3,0,1,1,9,9,0,0,3,0,0,3,2,1,0,3,3,1,15,3,12,12,3,15,0,0,0,1,13,5,0,1,8,69,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844891722693897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2019011608244527,0.0,0.10829118692488213,0.15300365571849114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171819596164993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2537934182530363,0.0,0.0,0.2148307655598858,0.21271991995758527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23694824794296496,0.0,0.11770266555640785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4538254899080287,0.10463303018507113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1932975004546801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17094908188302865,0.0,0.1574401740220027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205502649960716,0.0,0.0,0.22808490239018275,0.14512767060848716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2319260956112773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15159118803708094,0.0,0.17103707016355518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871947110915473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700276847608536,0.12488471041309213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12632348136921606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559188864414049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sheplays429,2018/03/18,"Need advice on alimony First post so please bear with me as I try to explain it while trying to stick to the rules:

STBX and I were married 20 years and are trying to have an amicable divorce without involving courts. We live in a 50/50 state. We have one child. Our biggest asset is our home and as our child grew up there, I don’t wish to sell it. I’ve asked for 50% of other mostly liquid assets and no child support as he has offered to take on summer camp and college expenses for our child (college is less than ten years into the future). We share custody 50/50. STBX makes more than twice my salary. Yesterday, he came over and informed me that as he’s paying for CS, he has no money left for alimony. He states going to court would cost upward of 20k which is pretty much all the savings we have and he might have to sell the house.

What should I do? ",3.546562916851933,4.849514398843933,4.196531791907514,88.6779813250334,72.64161849710983,6.710360160071144,23.712316585148955,7.010146845296331,0.7432831480658075,673,18,139,6,13,214,113,173,0.025,0.8740000000000001,0.101,0.9116,1,0,0,0,1,0,19.0,8,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,6,0,16,0,0,1,1,26,25,13,0,4,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,6,14,0,0,2,0,6,3,4,0,0,4,2,0,15,3,28,20,5,21,0,0,0,0,25,8,0,2,7,92,21,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947554222965752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1863202887717823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2279481762626239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16952601794413968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326781164961156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19991596570857653,0.0,0.0,0.2299675301994405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165419999333103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759871497864791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1330355059135152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21142772522003814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465097624583996,0.1477797669204501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13505206456402166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2187735383910588,0.0,0.0,0.19087604206434736,0.20276159126919813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261653323835183,0.0,0.0,0.14985015785532005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4059385398375054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2291872458876301,0.19211983293270035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14157828771895922,0.0,0.0,0.2566876628066708
divorce,Octonull,2018/03/18,"Going through a divorce I never thought would happen. Hello! I'm 26 and have been married for three years now. We recently moved very far away from home for my husbands job. We were in the process of trying for a baby when my husband woke up one day last month and said he didn't love me anymore and that he wanted a divorce. I asked him to go to couples counseling with me and see if this is something we can work through, he agreed to go. We went to two sessions and he decided that it wasn't going to work and that we need to go ahead and start the divorce process. That same day I found out that him and a mutual friend have been talking a lot and they developed feelings for each other. He is very adamant that he is not leaving me for her but has made it clear that later down the road he will be with her and that he never wants to be in love with me again. 
He is the only real father my son knows, they have been in each others life since my son was barely two. He wants to stay in my sons life as much as he can. 
He moved out last week into a friends house and I haven't been handling it well. I'm trying to be strong for son and not have too much change in his day to day. All my friends and family are 2000+ miles away and I have no one here. There is a divorce class we have to attend before either of us can talk to an attorney.
I guess, I'm just here for support. I feel alone all the time and I don't know what to do. I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes. ",3.7896835443037986,3.9480607531645577,4.500481012658232,90.93787341772152,71.21518987341773,7.332658227848103,26.559493670886077,6.742157984588678,0.8891967088607601,1162,34,267,8,20,373,161,316,0.048,0.865,0.087,0.9119,1,1,1,0,4,0,23.0,7,0,2,5,9,9,0,0,13,0,32,4,0,1,5,58,62,20,0,7,6,7,2,0,3,2,2,1,1,0,15,29,0,0,7,0,0,10,9,1,1,5,14,4,33,8,45,43,9,46,0,0,1,2,48,16,0,3,19,183,48,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744108336989393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07054526673990913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288003032467537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09698084687627227,0.0,0.1949301708533226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08827323393100169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10974084568870386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478391139301793,0.0,0.2676092165010132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09779477292466232,0.0,0.10490590536296107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137431519805918,0.24044271931219105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947829345374288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11427889098169905,0.0,0.09173500098758404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10405747965672874,0.0,0.0,0.11969950229147618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10294376740283613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11402317256337728,0.16912031839099326,0.0,0.10984336008212732,0.0,0.0,0.14654616331987635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08819417463609558,0.1872548437728528,0.09815922217549726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08280252860440984,0.2205137451917167,0.15251845016471374,0.07692027015199587,0.16001798547733914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14059084687068604,0.07889727756505728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180763365651332,0.0,0.0,0.10242857034694984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986784110974786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08266560197199084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08581298674885653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07986243274525419,0.0,0.0,0.07342615441600102,0.11057070054036597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1177204351345392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676104105425768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235623190176287,0.06049035006405671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14086232416474184,0.0,0.2026735293852608,0.0,0.12478381008726235,0.0,0.0,0.17118911175306914,0.183561740682064,0.0,0.08321221218458827,0.0,0.09327274777399504,0.0961659872918553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15104471942547326,0.0,0.0,0.07369236239803764,0.0,0.0,0.06680374715437874
divorce,samanthatermaine,2018/03/18,"Finances??? I am 35F, he is 41, no children, 2 dogs/2 cats. I have been begging for a divorce since 6 months into the marriage. I am financially dependant on him but technically he is on me as well. Once previously I was ready to leave, he then went into the hospital for months, and I just couldn't do it.

I am finally ready again even if that means I never see my animals again or have to live in a box on the side of the road. 

He will not sign, I want nothing from him, he can have the house, everything, my car is in his name. 

Neither of us can afford to separate, how do people do this?",2.0815573770491795,3.510179614754101,4.159803278688525,86.96839344262295,76.62295081967213,7.830819672131147,25.31475409836065,8.548686976883017,1.5861514754098356,451,16,101,9,10,155,84,122,0.036000000000000004,0.878,0.086,0.835,1,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,1,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,7,0,18,0,0,2,1,16,22,7,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,1,0,1,2,5,0,1,0,3,1,15,1,16,17,1,18,0,0,1,0,13,9,0,3,7,74,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1586899364635332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159308387577495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26319386969491165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27722860736634697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2544014065309679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2121546133376573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2617143537390455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3835476213679679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18530387519668945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2305366361405178,0.0,0.0,0.25586982046957873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16656652830242458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914566833869594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874614643261024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2890040579126276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14171199478929086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21602323715307994,0.2227240900969839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,whelpthisisit,2018/03/18,"I think this is where it's going. I think it's time for me. 

I want to start this off with saying I was never a perfect spouse. I was a very shitty spouse at times, but I was also very good most of the time. 

I fucked it up. I'm pretty sure I'm too immature. I cheated on my spouse. Something I tried to hide until I got found out. I know it's my fault and I will never try to shift the blame. My spouse even took me back, even though there were plenty of trust issues, understandably. I drink too much, but was never physically or emotionally abusive. 

Today was the last straw. I'm pretty sure I need to go ahead with it. Even before I cheated things weren't great. I got married early. I'm currently 26(M)  and the STBX is 31(F). Have been married for 4 years now. We don't own anything together and have no kids. 

Today was a bad day. I went out with a couple of friends last night and had some dinner. I decided I wanted to go hang out with a female friend i work with, and had 0 intentions of anything other than just hanging out. So that's what we did, just kicked it and watched tv. Well I fell asleep on her couch and lied about where I was at. I knew my wife would never go for it if I told her I wanted to hang out with another female, obviously understandable considering my past. 

Well fast forward to this morning, I wake up and uber home. She sees my phone opens my uber app and so I came clean, told her I hung out with a girl and passed out on the couch,which is exactly what happened. She lost it. 

She kicked me in crotch when I was trying to keep her from going to the girls house. The girl had nothing to do with it, she has a boyfriend, knew I was married and had no intentions with me whatsoever. After that I was trying to just leave,because things were way out of hand already. She came at me with a pair of scissors and got me in my arm a couple times. That's about the long and short of it. 

Before anyone says anything about domestic violence, yes it was. I will not call the police on her. I'm alive. She had every reason to think I was lying, even though for once, I wasn't.

I feel bad for what I have put her through, being a cheating fuck. Most of the time she was a good wife. Although we fought all the time, about nothing. This isn't the whole of it, But I think I need to get all this off my chest. I need to talk to someone about this. I think it's time to end things.  I know I'll have to let her keep my dog, because it's going to be tough for me to find a place i can have him. I feel bad for making her cry too much from when I cheated on her. It breaks my fucking heart, all because I wanted to be a piece of shit. I honestly think she deserves to not be married to me. ",1.747768746338604,3.238598537785588,3.13505821616872,93.69933014792034,77.68189806678383,6.007044522554189,20.81725981253661,6.6274283507984215,0.1058918863503222,2084,51,483,18,48,680,234,569,0.168,0.731,0.101,-0.9928,1,0,2,0,1,0,71.0,3,0,0,4,29,27,9,0,25,1,45,13,8,4,12,93,99,27,0,9,10,6,3,0,2,3,0,2,3,4,31,37,2,2,18,2,0,17,12,15,2,0,38,7,86,12,83,53,11,78,0,1,2,3,41,28,4,5,33,332,117,1,0.0,0.08091518027281168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07536222517867049,0.054613308746541724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0716104062960943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04775154751834164,0.0,0.1685961737412643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052512545104395916,0.1710635946171946,0.12489101344296664,0.0,0.11622339446849865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06973404971665757,0.15621634181390706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511282097458388,0.07501585884349726,0.044042868585048925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06690043170974537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07681961903667342,0.06048668664978536,0.0,0.0,0.18042561787272232,0.0,0.0575391882705883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906125378053234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06241790339101767,0.0,0.0,0.07487895612311969,0.10552488664737787,0.18940532719444125,0.03567989574798863,0.0,0.23287244677206376,0.11456064264230588,0.16385871611410902,0.0752924758001767,0.0,0.0,0.06039063446277381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092667632297636,0.0,0.0,0.06850272141946731,0.0,0.0,0.07880011784421165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127939364869344,0.0,0.12140262617148345,0.0,0.0,0.07506329820057102,0.1113346401943215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983347954026999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06043651556233485,0.0,0.0,0.07454908693117486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04558562478084492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004053618964112,0.15191357281902834,0.2106848545134777,0.0,0.0,0.06408767513551772,0.0,0.1310565620760404,0.0,0.0,0.07272904552428103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519270523539157,0.0,0.0,0.07135089354541267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895559318688167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865260021366501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07021583417963531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10861751845484804,0.0,0.0,0.05442010244281058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0701010403161166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0578638241586634,0.0525747308148966,0.0,0.0,0.0483376247190978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287293245616278,0.0,0.0,0.05489074488756116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611106167330633,0.2625535990923746,0.1341936296060393,0.0,0.2787524288375678,0.0,0.1294661856010117,0.13051239336167314,0.07587523185520352,0.1854638913528988,0.0,0.0,0.14218933633293768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126965603160104,0.16112221599955973,0.054207230245416425,0.0,0.0,0.12280591607384868,0.06330762439388005,0.0,0.07624588771876997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04971759056061149,0.0,0.0,0.04851287373813277,0.0,0.0,0.043977986937501434
divorce,PixieFriend,2018/03/18,"Joining you guys for support! Surprise divorce. No kids. Still a nightmare considering healthcare issues and other items and ours is considered ""easy."" It never is. Looking for alimony advice. ",5.404999999999998,8.660970166666669,5.240000000000002,66.40000000000003,97.33333333333334,6.0,38.333333333333336,7.1686216300943375,4.475333333333333,155,10,16,3,6,48,27,30,0.066,0.7809999999999999,0.153,0.4389,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,1,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,2,4,1,2,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,2,15,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3908681233076563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3960555444617291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4174883358934401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33589302947799937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3084989391965585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194345939167942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4539068436892123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,missiontan,2018/03/19,"Abused - cancel credit cards I got laid off from 6 months ago and I've been collecting unemployment but now that my unemployment is almost done my husband told me that he's going to cancel the credit cards so have any access to money. She also doesn't want me to go back to work unless I'm making more than a certain amount which is proved very difficult for me. 

I don't see any way out of this. 

Honestly just wish he would die on his way to work. I know it's horrible to think like that but honestly I drive when he comes home and I count the hours until he goes back to work because all I have to do is get yelled and screamed at. I stopped the kindle and the screen cracked and he went absolutely bezerk. 
Then he went downstairs and threw everything off of the kitchen counters onto the floor and then told me that I can pick it up later on.",4.0837596899224815,5.039037918604652,4.68139534883721,87.02852713178301,70.97674418604652,7.826356589147288,24.79844961240311,8.07648339933343,1.1917077519379848,670,18,142,9,12,214,109,172,0.16699999999999998,0.711,0.123,-0.7618,4,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,3,7,8,0,0,7,0,12,1,0,2,3,25,29,16,1,3,4,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,8,9,1,1,3,0,3,7,2,2,0,0,8,4,16,6,23,20,3,30,0,0,2,0,11,9,0,1,13,86,24,7,0.0,0.19511189252750374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459736625633998,0.0,0.16489733394379855,0.0,0.0,0.1316898261957782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2239680833022612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2532484515812737,0.0,0.10038380894815828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14185216444083054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17090572739219942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1685187880624241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14799847173456127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08603542575203599,0.0,0.1871761831505378,0.0,0.13170492895712466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16518155894077202,0.0,0.16217082718286796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050058420367196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08045145208891881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10992124707689616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13144130344338828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13122394516527036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376749294989736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1055165203778901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3147063379360276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13587338673942936,0.0971290565809394,0.2614212869871377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3053090993621804,0.0,0.0,0.1893670994754206,0.0,0.0,0.35965413980970623,0.0,0.0,0.1169797629453642,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RomanceGirl,2018/03/19,"I don't know what to do... I don't know what to do. Every day, every hour, I think about divorcing my husband. A year ago I asked him for a divorce. He stayed in the house and wouldn't leave, even though I had nowhere else to go. He stayed and we started counseling (we went to 2 sessions before he said it wasn't working and said we should stop going). I saw a therapist individually and when I told him how I would constantly tell my therapist I want a divorce, suddenly he was against me seeing ""that"" therapist. He suggested maybe I see someone else instead. I stopped going altogether.

I miscarried twice in 2016. ONce in October. I was s depressed I spent the entire month of November in a drunken stupor, ignored my birth control and we got pregnant again. I miscarried the second time just before Christma. The first time, we were devastated. 

I was sexually assaulted by a bar owner in January the following month. My husband blamed me because I was drunk (even though said bar owner was giving me drinks and knew I was married).  He suggested a 2 drink limit and a buddy system if I went out to happy hour with coworkers. 

He has tried really hard this last year to make improvements. He's been more courteous and tries (and often fails) to help out around the house. For instance, he used to cook maybe one night a week (his chore) and now it's 2-3 times a week. But if I let dishes sit for more than a couple days (mind you, I work two jobs, he has one) then I hear him complain about it instead of taking the initiative and just doing them himself. I will volunteer to cook, take out the trash, and some more of his chores. He never just helps with mine.

He's raped me 3 times. ONe when we were engaged. I was in too much shock and sort of just shook it off. We've always been into rough sex and he went too far, ignoring my safeword and ignoring me when I said ""no."" But it was a one-timemistake, right? The second time was Valentine's night, the first year we were married. He pinned me down, shoved my legs open when I was half asleep and ignored me when I pleaded wih him to stop. He didn't even finish, rolled off of me and claimed to not remember any of it the next morning. The third time happened in December. I was drunk, so drunk I couldn't remmeber my safeword and he handcuffed me to the bed. At first it was fun, but then he started using toys and I wanted him to stop. I said ""no"" and ""stop"" and he kept going. I was too drunk to remember my safeword and was handcuffed so I couldn't stop him.

He's talking about kids too. Like, starting again in a few more months. The idea leaves me paralyzed. I'm absolutely terrified to have ids with him--not because h's a bad person or that he woudl even be a bad father, but because I'd be permanently stuck with him after that.

He was my first and only boyfriend. We started dating when I was 15, engaged at 19, married at 22, now I""m 26. I don't know what to do. I don't' know if any of this is normal or if I""m having some sort of cold feet or something. 

What can I do? Should I do anything? Does anyone have any adivce?",2.2518293306080754,4.266587644012946,3.550718787259413,88.91667092488504,77.89967637540455,6.666939192641799,24.43433827286664,7.669130373188453,1.1875572815533983,2396,84,499,36,57,781,273,618,0.109,0.853,0.039,-0.9882,1,0,3,0,2,0,96.0,8,1,1,9,34,18,2,1,29,0,51,16,3,5,1,99,94,47,0,13,16,3,2,1,0,5,0,6,3,2,16,41,11,13,9,11,1,9,13,13,0,13,39,12,78,5,57,45,8,91,0,2,3,2,67,22,0,12,57,322,94,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05687287351914415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0533852316293203,0.0,0.0,0.13089047966213446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486129983158858,0.0,0.05279719641728398,0.05711490276081695,0.059979783914139724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10713977671534954,0.11733176182790367,0.0,0.10918876597022556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06933283149396095,0.07195950980111249,0.0,0.07099045248549399,0.0,0.08275419062715024,0.0,0.05525984976192275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614576708163605,0.0,0.0,0.12570232722366995,0.0,0.0,0.10719282996084012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16950503515260576,0.0,0.10811305229769157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21829364888047573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06154693301905308,0.1458516173832826,0.0,0.051313624902527485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056735383468226715,0.06829819772742048,0.05747365083361487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07231159039178889,0.0,0.08600853473248946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263669182632232,0.14806119998585804,0.0,0.0724274355719738,0.0,0.0,0.0636676738037463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103991606262847,0.052297956139338,0.0,0.13586973540320724,0.0,0.06560668348467291,0.0,0.03134473149974788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04282647343561526,0.0,0.1289122047206231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06478206243262788,0.0,0.15363274089284099,0.0,0.047164074033453365,0.0,0.049483194364922566,0.0,0.06823357380096037,0.12041730830438868,0.06286196691302612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06832699016669141,0.17390255678769104,0.048795631428166536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05602095835209245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041101747351434834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1453587461151101,0.05479123423705403,0.3051483857512853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10225245712151856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05436151287007062,0.04939255134603115,0.0,0.0,0.18164761465268328,0.1367694125028066,0.0,0.3218375992484865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09647881233879914,0.051568384531082916,0.05607758799452797,0.0,0.0,0.2234798115019128,0.0,0.04111034560789726,0.12607132053538825,0.0,0.22446894882419172,0.0,0.0,0.06130644884427387,0.0,0.08711917906660245,0.0,0.0626737901822664,0.0,0.0,0.1108251455857686,0.0,0.0,0.07568500307461086,0.0,0.10292858160367907,0.0,0.0,0.17842745212405273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09341668921565496,0.0,0.0,0.04557654542237453,0.0,0.0,0.12394842223082715
divorce,Rando500,2018/03/19,"Divorce equity buyout refinance TX I’m looking for some answers in terms of equity buyouts in TX. 

Quick background: divorcing, our biggest asset is the house. We owe around $90K, had a realtor tell us $200K was a fair amount and we agreed on that. I also had an independent appraisal but it came in at $160K.

My bank told me they don’t offer any cash out refinances, they can only take his name off (something about it being in TX).

Can I get a cash out/divorce equity buyout refinance in TX? Is there a law against it?

If I can, I’m only refinancing the remaining principal + his half, correct? Should I be worried about the variance between the appraisal I had and the realtor’s price we agreed on?

If I can’t do a buyout refinance, can I buy my own house if the judge orders we sell it? The price is fair for our area and I’d like to avoid moving if possible (more stability for the kids).

Thanks in advance!



",2.240149443561208,4.236977383783785,4.344928457869635,83.29427662957077,77.86486486486487,7.812400635930048,26.558028616852148,8.671277953709913,2.1235564387917325,716,29,143,16,17,246,109,185,0.031,0.8170000000000001,0.152,0.9632,1,1,1,0,2,0,28.0,7,0,2,1,6,3,0,1,14,0,17,0,0,1,1,23,26,9,0,5,5,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,5,10,0,1,1,0,8,3,2,1,0,1,6,1,21,2,21,17,5,20,0,0,1,0,18,14,0,5,3,93,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610874390107922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14975620730813136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960412531219504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518714244301385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505513522100284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5082054206679023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10758768981389667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18492817002510947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23405753259801002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349723546624757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24826339579661916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16953504589364587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16557698916009794,0.0,0.19248077281234008,0.20274770998987132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21042832036708675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26489587460238195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22364268945014795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ThatEnglishGent,2018/03/19,"Having such a hard time, I want to get better. But seem stuck Hi all

Long story short. Me and my Wife have (or are going through the process) of divorce. She was my first love but we really did grow apart, we were together 7 years and married 5.

This was around this time last year.

I still find myself waking in the night thinking about her and my whole life seems like some sort of haze where I can't actually process what my life is now. I'm taking care of myself, swimming and running which were 2 passions I had before I am now throwing myself into.
I kept our family house and now have a lodger.
My brain just doesn't seem to want to process whats gone on or accept that life as I know it is over.
Just to add I don't have any children, which everyone tells me is a good thing.

I've never suffered from anxiety or depression in the past but recently I find myself feeling very, very panicky and can't focus on what people are saying sometimes.

I guess I'm quite a logical person so I just want to get this fixed, however fucking hard it may be.

Thanks all x",2.7215104966717867,4.370184686635945,3.739316436251922,89.72580005120331,75.40552995391704,6.665540194572452,23.576292882744497,7.3871296695380915,0.8744676907322062,835,25,176,10,18,269,138,217,0.06,0.768,0.172,0.9721,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,3,0,0,3,12,11,1,0,7,0,22,8,2,0,3,41,45,14,0,3,9,1,3,1,0,1,3,1,0,2,12,11,0,1,10,1,0,6,5,3,0,1,9,4,27,8,19,34,4,31,0,2,0,3,13,10,1,10,16,115,39,0,0.0,0.0,0.1276184308906292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.088932108441562,0.0,0.10004321898787012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11641829273753487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11128067374643716,0.0,0.0,0.11566067169411015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459891741952991,0.0,0.0,0.13333476371563252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11263710617098673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496199351227427,0.0,0.0,0.123283896321762,0.0,0.06612423329757698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23905363889797934,0.11123792867396093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209002284938688,0.13665003870163092,0.0,0.07432296768444614,0.10968863503221772,0.0,0.0,0.14406441700526476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2342990702606227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15089785055932545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187102420806771,0.10659982724475753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2771126942387451,0.0638905075755553,0.0,0.0,0.11573257176697803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11803037143521153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10086244970578838,0.0,0.0,0.12272433963122968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12484041091939675,0.09066355501598937,0.11418848695555167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13909628585635653,0.0,0.0,0.08377840150095174,0.0,0.12912544167128115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10399825860874896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35716045125388546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12934072640343194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10443781669762388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09832721474519897,0.0,0.11430391613378715,0.12040089459529588,0.0,0.0,0.08688170866467983,0.0837959274756009,0.0,0.0,0.1525129784085545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2158076559065008,0.2314050734012467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14600664168416844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16843080651008258
divorce,HoChiMindy,2018/03/19,Would you ever marry again? Never married or had kids. I'm curious about your thoughts.,1.842916666666668,4.3759291250000025,2.715,85.09666666666669,101.5,4.633333333333333,24.08333333333333,6.42735559955562,1.409858333333334,70,3,11,1,3,22,16,16,0.0,0.8590000000000001,0.141,0.3182,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,4,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5666830668782303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4831766210014627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4973516661893216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44503030769802376,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ConfusedAF-17,2018/03/19,"Need some hard truth help please I’m looking for some true thoughts and advice. Knowing all decisions are my own... I have nobody else to talk to. 

I’m 41 and my wife 35, 2 kids 7 and 2 and been married 10 years. 

Our past has been complicated. She has a history of overspending and I’ve had to take on more work to pay for it. I did this because I thought it was my duty. 

We had our first son and about 1.5 yrs later she started cheating on me. That happened for 6 months and then she stopped, said it was a mistake. I took her back although never went to counseling and ever really got over it. Think about it all the time. 

Around this time she started taking opioids again. Over the past 5 years it’s decreased in severity and eventually became “legal supplements” with similar effects. Also takes a ton of sedatives as soon as I come home at night.  I tried my best to help her through this. 

*I sound weak typing this. I really did just want to help*

So after all this About 6 months ago I lost a promotion and something just snapped. I saw this life. This cycle. And just wanted it to end. 

I withdrew. Felt I was done. And eventually talked divorce. You can imagine the fighting. We went to counseling. I tried to explain my side. She admitted her coping mechanisms are drugs, spending and make attention. Um. Yeah, found that out. Counseling wasn’t going anywhere, probably because I was tired of hearing the same crap (and she’s use what I said against me after the session).  About that time I also found she was texting another guy “innocently and broke it off before anything happened.”

So about 3 weeks ago I mentioned pursuing full custody due to drugs and she immediately got help. Now in the final stages of ending the addiction. 

Since then, she’s been very apologetic. Said she has treated me wrong and I’m distant and she loves me and wants me to come back to her. 

I feel such guilt at causing this, but slightly god it forced her to get help. But that also makes me disbelieve her expression on love since I’ve asked and begged for help for years and it never mattered until divorce and custody came up. I’m a mess. 

So here’s where I need some hard truths. 

I feel no love right now. No emotion at all. Exhausted. Done. The thought of going back into this scares me that any of it will repeat. I don’t have trust any more.  It’s possible it could come back. I don’t know. But I also know I’d be living in fear of any of it happening again. 

But the thought of losing my kids, any time, terrifies me too. So much fear. 

And now I’m stuck. 

Any advice on how to get past this stuck phase? Am I just getting stuck in the loop again? Aarrgghh. 

Ps - that’s everyone for sharing your stories. They have all helped me so much. ",1.304552238805968,3.8885515447761207,2.4781343283582093,91.54447761194031,86.72388059701494,5.588059701492537,22.92537313432836,7.07714890411121,0.9242231343283588,2132,80,431,32,67,679,259,536,0.127,0.775,0.099,-0.9114,0,0,4,0,4,0,73.0,4,2,1,7,36,25,3,4,15,1,30,11,1,6,11,90,94,43,0,7,8,2,5,0,0,1,7,5,1,3,31,33,0,2,19,0,2,9,7,15,1,1,36,12,63,10,61,55,17,77,0,3,2,3,54,22,1,3,45,282,94,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07235500982964492,0.0,0.12971542172923026,0.1176691123960318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21230987409546864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2256753470490898,0.06959657221652896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546182991556556,0.05908493361240781,0.06204863143152834,0.0,0.0,0.20414313095895145,0.0,0.08091921166074979,0.0,0.05647747502598771,0.0,0.06965306209975887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0759116061253693,0.0,0.06818207536466081,0.0,0.17152017002339978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0529924456784161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13584269836860496,0.0,0.0,0.1539403284112768,0.0,0.05544508469606792,0.07465929102295404,0.11757134956487307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060037052285917214,0.0,0.06342105623720729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937335372647262,0.0671191071899141,0.0,0.06372729331690102,0.07270701341759651,0.0,0.056455780928693126,0.0,0.14554640720158107,0.0,0.0,0.10402950784145536,0.0,0.07544119585077531,0.0,0.10616711135706627,0.0,0.0,0.0657184724393804,0.17607697135016848,0.0,0.11891211154425745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07480579167925315,0.0,0.3114131184146173,0.0,0.06657628192452733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10942854239143912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688033342882827,0.0,0.0,0.05860747568484975,0.0,0.05573555807766993,0.07425301664929289,0.07245261101897678,0.0,0.1797093007424473,0.0,0.08860732374503236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1059546032945736,0.0,0.09758175356884452,0.09842763073339413,0.10237997834733607,0.0,0.0,0.06228539595650605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19007805091115407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07285625596697742,0.0,0.0748241812651,0.0,0.0,0.07155997767559512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08503889164561537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05668111615273836,0.1894042140583017,0.0,0.06644970543861088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07498119122317005,0.0,0.10980680326727807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05109621965827455,0.0,0.0,0.09395653965788624,0.0,0.0,0.05548975914163418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1497098991636372,0.1066942051631559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042528340653888684,0.0,0.2107670388105145,0.15480761643903895,0.07628456873577419,0.0,0.0,0.07374146198001064,0.0901241298277936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057323886175052886,0.0,0.054763648918267696,0.11744334226161345,0.0,0.053239418408367184,0.0,0.0,0.12305456373945667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04831942815093533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07256709492061826,0.0,0.12822370248164566
divorce,LilHobo711,2018/03/19,"I feel so stupid for ever shedding a tear for this awful, toxic relationship. I need to talk to somebody. In advance, I apologize for bitching so much. I don’t know if this is the place, but I have so much hate in my heart for my soon to be ex wife. I initiated our divorce in December of last year because I was so unhappy and had no idea what I wanted in life. I rushed into the relationship with her (who was in a committed relationship at the time) and married her a year later. I won’t start this by blaming her for all my problems so I’ll take complete responsibility for what I did. I was young, I still am. The way I reacted to the failing marriage and toxic overall relationship was wrong and immature. I never laid a hand on her but I was loud and I broke things. But as I’ve been told in therapy and from people who know us, nothing I ever did was unprovoked. She’s the most intelligent person I’ve ever met and I wish that was a good thing. But she used it against me and now she’s trying to use it against my family by keeping in contact and subconsciously planting the seed of her being a victim and me being the evil piece of shit I really believed I was. 

So, we’ve been separated for 3 months now and she’s already fucked our neighbor in my bed, fucked and is dating a now old friend that I introduced her to and moved across the country. She also took my cat who I loved very very much. 

I should have listened to everyone in the beginning. I knew in the deepest recesses of my being that this would happen one way or another. Maybe it was a self fulfilling prophecy. I don’t know. Regardless, it’s happening and unfortunately I have nothing but pure hate in my heart for her. 

In the same day she:
1. Told me she hopes I die. I’m a fat fucking loser who isn’t worthy of anything other than rotting in hell. I’m handicapped and she said some foul shit about that as well. 
2. Called my parents and Aunt and asked them to follow her on Snapchat then immediately posted a picture of her and her new boyfriend with the “man crush Monday” tag. 

I hate this person and I really wish I could forget about the last 3 years of my life. 

I’m stuck waiting for the dissolution of marriage papers before I can leave for Mexico to start my life of travel. 

I just need to talk to someone. I just don’t know where to turn at such an early hour. I need to forget. 

I’m sorry. 

I have no idea why I ever cried over this bullshit. ",2.753432444466433,4.4231272819472665,4.513710978083413,84.11827635680008,75.36916835699796,7.487240884579233,25.614653935586013,8.25429008570747,1.5999202394498586,1902,67,391,33,41,644,237,493,0.233,0.696,0.071,-0.9984,1,0,0,0,1,0,44.0,3,0,1,3,23,23,13,0,26,1,34,13,6,3,8,69,78,36,1,13,9,4,2,0,2,3,4,3,2,4,23,22,1,2,8,1,0,6,8,18,1,1,21,5,73,5,64,49,8,61,1,3,0,4,55,22,7,5,30,280,96,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484085566252733,0.0614822589650627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061715441785282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06326707935231081,0.0,0.07187400100638798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04686636406121937,0.0,0.06542065478648879,0.08661933612672984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07850480041888305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060898824454918,0.0,0.0,0.0613837727948035,0.0,0.08445092534691999,0.049582329180552935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07979105519144862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2781755572598159,0.0,0.07346374858967535,0.0,0.0,0.07247721415110044,0.0,0.03887369202525636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939860225483781,0.21322764804409453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06448471315688474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13597244746097956,0.0,0.0,0.22771425324587385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221034341509687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636086454389332,0.07571297708763444,0.0,0.0,0.17358013775581338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.068335977737171,0.0,0.0,0.16900866271104556,0.12533767569324952,0.0,0.08140660787547165,0.0,0.0,0.16291143193520774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06938872603861494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723799026259505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061366230713962786,0.0817130683755122,0.1695506627398828,0.17102039482196446,0.05929589820921829,0.0742528143747227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14754010832826836,0.0,0.08067439977681845,0.0,0.05209702222112124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08536801736715903,0.0,0.0,0.05330008288709495,0.13426025084521556,0.08032500163479782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07363140605815745,0.0,0.0,0.07356539333195786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985047573605852,0.0,0.0,0.33016864752802777,0.0,0.0,0.07313209202614421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020436896341498,0.0,0.15783589800201225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0651416056504189,0.0,0.0,0.08606275650659645,0.10883451044975467,0.0,0.06139781619581178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05780546212920967,0.12358917888035595,0.0,0.0,0.08792091174627932,0.0,0.10215355602111977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04483033115732149,0.0,0.0,0.1469274971793507,0.08541838539037792,0.052197620225442005,0.08362520056501252,0.0,0.0,0.09247920574703854,0.13280218943047645,0.0,0.1268708903534345,0.04534681214373862,0.12205021245626375,0.0,0.0,0.06912587158503039,0.0,0.06937376619530025,0.0,0.17682029638495864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0546145460651318,0.08405805789787264,0.0,0.14852786126924558
divorce,AltruisticInspector,2018/03/19,"I just want him to come to his senses. Over twenty years we have been together, filled with bad and good memories. Four beautiful kids, I just thought our life was perfect minus minor hiccups. 

Unfortunately he has become a bitter person. Alcohol and depression has completely transformed him him into an (excuse my language) piece of shit. When he gets drunk he’s mean and I mean that he’s a MEAN son of a bitch. He says the most hurtful things and the kids have heard many fights this past year. 

Basically he committed a hit and run (very long story) but is not getting charged for it. That was the tip of the iceberg and I tried to force him to get help. 

Nope, he just moved out because I’m such a “nagging bitch”. He tries to have this tough guy persona now when I know damn well he has feelings. Throughout this year I’ve heard him cry when he thought I wasn’t able to hear him. I suspect it relates to the death of his father/his depression.

We’ve been separated for a little over two months and I don’t know what’s going on. I believe he’s not well right now. The kids don’t understand if we’re getting a divorce or not and I don’t even know either. 

He lives with his brother who does talk to me and tells me that my husband isn’t acting like himself. 

Our marriage has been horrible for the past year. But god damnit our life together has been great for over 20. He told me he’s sick of me and that I do nothing but make him angry. 

Also, our dog misses him so much. He doesn’t even ask about him or attempts to see him. I just want him to come home and get the help he obviously needs. His dad was an alcoholic and my husband is going through the exact same weird phase. 

My situation is also unique somewhat (we got an arranged marriage at a young age, we however hit it off so great that everything was great. We’re of middle eastern descent) 

I’m not perfect, I’ve said and done things I’m not proud of. We’ve gotten into many disagreements but fuck seriously. You’re just going to up and leave me in limbo? So many memories, inside jokes, laughing at each other, raising our kids, just all gone. 

I cry into my pillow every night, just waiting thinking you’re going to come home. I still love you, you fucking asshole. ",1.9505969711773328,4.2901714426966295,3.13833170493405,89.79260747435274,80.64044943820224,5.8470933072789455,23.606497313141183,7.079830092131019,0.8975119687347344,1752,62,355,22,46,564,217,445,0.181,0.69,0.129,-0.9767,1,0,2,0,2,0,50.0,8,2,0,4,24,30,9,0,20,0,27,11,1,1,6,73,74,29,1,4,20,5,1,1,0,0,6,5,3,6,16,27,3,1,12,2,0,12,12,17,2,2,19,8,50,13,40,53,8,45,0,4,1,3,71,16,6,5,18,213,66,0,0.08513505368788157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819669623384469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13616494335150234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07958978281069624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108421373581289,0.05189753853313313,0.09402497807679837,0.0,0.09591805177118774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200089311378359,0.08926248402956484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187033717683987,0.0,0.0,0.1466533939835124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07450225919726781,0.08712271818200425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11246180006606332,0.0,0.07172995457679726,0.0,0.07651389671471641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04304684116673936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15741197057293585,0.22239775866079656,0.0,0.19353685179562094,0.07140724382813132,0.06809027966936237,0.28158509173209423,0.0,0.0842970880650764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09595339293347724,0.0,0.11412846383415055,0.0,0.17079480067385902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09113883577793903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1403639970985768,0.0,0.0,0.09014572932413284,0.0,0.0,0.12026681232481005,0.04159268689423226,0.08532768957636051,0.07517581215288792,0.07534184346987237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07683770984772961,0.0,0.05682830942118707,0.258940745893372,0.0,0.2782110949869511,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0679539876178771,0.09048508881848068,0.06258406022541921,0.06312656356721587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07989348067937603,0.0,0.08168938011861766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16254208395440606,0.0,0.07433664506815599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727048706794205,0.080982931788302,0.0677028117634499,0.0,0.0,0.06784161531668312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08738990918701511,0.0,0.09569536736409913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06798896384857432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0684283312958018,0.07441178940259613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311989346938685,0.05455110480039368,0.0,0.13517544590079966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0813501921813451,0.0,0.11560222608475355,0.0,0.08316457684592968,0.08862859333801207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07024533535660589,0.10042972087658868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530932751486499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21929673325047128
divorce,cant-waitill-2018,2018/03/19,"Any advice on the big talk for the second time? Or what would you have done different while having the talk about divorce?

After 21 years, one last night of drunkenness, insults and saying he wants to break up I finally agreed. Not that I ever asked for him not to it’s that it would be forgotten about the next morning. He would be drunk and I would let it go so it doesn’t turn into an argument. 
6 months ago I said ok let’s do this, we packed, winter came and we needed to wait out till spring to move things along due to slow business. We have lived in separate rooms for 4 months and nothing has been talked about moving on for 3 months. Every day I’m ready and now I’m in a situation where I have to bring it up and I’m not sure how to go about it. 
I’m ready for a different life!",3.56515334063527,4.022378439759038,4.441237677984669,90.09965498357069,71.83132530120481,7.964074479737133,22.92223439211391,8.00094639256281,0.7992240963855424,615,13,142,8,11,199,105,166,0.076,0.867,0.058,-0.443,2,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,3,1,0,0,9,3,1,0,7,1,17,2,0,1,2,27,31,11,0,6,4,0,0,0,0,4,1,2,1,0,11,13,1,1,0,1,0,6,4,1,0,2,4,2,10,2,28,19,0,38,0,0,0,0,15,11,0,1,20,91,21,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1319336002095948,0.11968129482924557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09181378934846207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621936888780969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15441944157910165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08707251870674075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2821206798089721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13816565539421505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212741320129145,0.11375467148300672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14790065688094256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15346253267381632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005399798503544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2761208408523648,0.0953640066206218,0.0,0.0,0.11921936749261802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3232993907373417,0.28699590327041696,0.0,0.10011077718934773,0.0,0.0,0.14358835694449215,0.12670099544794886,0.0,0.12954906571277414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09148862138758204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12842872765862498,0.1073681303169028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517607970223085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12724859757208734,0.0,0.0,0.3255561386847251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969695014950732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872744005451594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14685588516902345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07963444263173898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38363878119558,0.0,0.0,0.08694424803202543
divorce,Amy_F_Fowler99,2018/03/19,"How did you cope with your ex getting remarried? My child came home today after being at my ex’s house (it was his weekend).  We went to dinner and the words “oh - daddy is marrying his gf “ just casually came out and I thought I was going to pass out. We’ve been divorced for over a year and a half and although I’m doing well, this cut deep. My ex has been with his gf since we broke up (he was cheating on me with her) and deep down, i knew this day was coming. But now that’s is here - I’m having a hard time. 

My ex was not a good husband and I know that the divorce was needed but I’m still struggling with this news. Any advice?

Thank you for reading. ",0.9263696734919762,2.6671856546762642,2.6720863309352545,94.94921416712783,80.94244604316546,5.1402324294410615,20.044825677919203,5.873414542411696,-0.1855195351411183,502,13,116,3,13,166,90,139,0.095,0.8590000000000001,0.046,-0.6908,0,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,2,3,0,0,6,8,2,1,6,0,15,1,0,1,0,28,29,10,0,1,4,5,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,1,6,17,1,0,3,3,0,6,1,4,1,1,14,1,18,4,16,14,0,23,0,1,0,0,20,9,0,0,8,78,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116661414034784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473003881357543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4954820804526376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865880046116396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969378556833822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11316837131294795,0.0,0.12310291726091176,0.18167992188045085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19403758998874085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172747776030912,0.0,0.0,0.2499357357623589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11904170436394325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16061156435441193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21666591165005702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917979248413554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729828653024631,0.0,0.0,0.2264449748434346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19942289479657396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17196199667447012,0.1263054554142392,0.0,0.20531838809243533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19475597137157388,0.20079713222679849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1394879959989709
divorce,Bellalovelyrose,2018/03/20,"Please kindly give your best input My husband and I have been married for seven years. We separated for four years. He moved out of Illinois to 11 hours away. Has never contributed to our child since he left. 

He wants visitation rights (ok) but he wants to bring his sister for translation purposes. Mind you, we could communicate when we were together. 

I do not think his sister (bad terms with her) should be allowed to come along when it is his supervised visitation, that I alone will supervise.

But my attorney says its fair.

What do you think? ",4.058499999999999,6.817819849999999,4.3580000000000005,81.62900000000002,75.5,8.4,25.0,9.120678840339163,2.2877,435,15,79,11,10,136,76,100,0.024,0.8859999999999999,0.09,0.7003,1,1,0,0,0,0,15.0,4,3,0,1,2,4,0,0,0,1,11,0,0,1,1,20,18,5,0,4,3,3,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,4,8,0,0,2,0,0,5,2,1,0,2,2,1,16,3,12,12,2,16,0,0,0,0,23,4,0,0,7,53,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317288018956159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021258129739545,0.0,0.18681487517647508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348029864229024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273356135478814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786394471118105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21463331289175647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203403888408305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329924272442668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24309588337008345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2259152161419829,0.0,0.0,0.2378018927772195,0.0,0.0,0.17256330117574126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2456010685666169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19107408842105245,0.0,0.17792828623935605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18508134861165185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28672914275733363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2639371638729373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28816448614775586
divorce,celestialvee,2018/03/20,"A divorce that has been dragging onnnnnn. So my ex and I got separated in October of 2016. I moved to a different state with my parents until I could get back on my feet. We have one child and had to go through one year of separation before we could actually get divorced. I’ll also note that he’s in the military.

November 2017, I sent him the papers in the mail and he notified me that he received them. All that was left for him to do was sign, notarize and take them in to the court house there. Occasionally I would check in to see how that process was coming along and it was always an excuse. “Can I just enjoy my holidays first?” “Give me two more weeks.” “I’ll get them in by the end of the month.” He claimed he still wanted to be in our sons life but never calls and has only visited with him twice since the separation (I take partial responsibility for that part since we moved two states over) He will ignore his son for weeks and months on end to avoid the question of whether he’s turned the papers in or not. He likes to say, “why are you in such a hurry” and other related things. 

I’ve told him I’d look into default divorce since it’s been almost 6 months since he’s been in possession of the papers and his response was “ok I’ll do it geez” We has a long phone conversation after that where I expressed how I felt like I was the only one putting in effort to keep our son thinking of him. I made excuses for him. I used to have to constantly ask him if he wanted to talk to his son and would fail 9/10 times. I thought I was doing things like that in our sons best interest but I eventually gave up. I told him if he wanted to be in his sons life, he’d have to be the one to initiate it. After that talk, he said he wanted to start calling our son everyday (lasted two days) and that he’d have the papers in that Friday, “you have my word.”

And obviously since I’m posting this, none of that happened and I am again getting ignored. I feel I’ve done the most to try to make things easy for us, to make the process as smooth as possible. I wanted things to at least be neutral and to get along for the sake of our son. My ex and I aren’t in love anymore but I didn’t want that to take the experience of having a father from our son. 

I sent him a message today telling him that he’s left me with no choice and that I was going to pursue the divorce through other means but I am just feeling so uneasy. I did not want it to be this way and I definitely didn’t want things to get messy. 

TLDR; Ex is ignoring and dodging every question about turning in papers. Added all my whiney drama in with it.

Do I have any other options? Whether it be default or not, should I just seek out a lawyer?",4.0775634920634936,4.430595692857146,5.205595238095238,85.44718253968256,70.64285714285714,8.222222222222221,27.341269841269842,8.167268648758528,1.518406746031746,2108,66,463,28,36,699,246,560,0.063,0.8590000000000001,0.078,0.7609999999999999,3,1,0,0,4,0,44.0,11,2,3,4,15,13,0,1,26,1,50,4,1,6,4,88,98,36,0,15,16,14,4,3,0,4,2,2,0,1,32,31,0,5,8,2,1,10,9,5,0,9,26,8,70,8,81,58,8,65,0,1,2,1,91,27,0,9,27,321,102,7,0.0,0.0,0.07281634184831566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07471908444652796,0.0,0.0,0.05967193652521144,0.0620881003375738,0.0,0.0,0.05074275529309738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400094215475021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697576975547257,0.0,0.0,0.05737658695592656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06349436773420199,0.0,0.07830692035612923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238651104807222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427674481013522,0.0,0.08063548039605935,0.0,0.11915270048782535,0.0,0.0,0.048122395784373516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07795986158645972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07636005540486397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132178687181809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06286882939338763,0.0,0.0,0.07299065954651777,0.0,0.0,0.07545814100128842,0.0,0.07164492029267915,0.0,0.0,0.06346997831185884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233908751163328,0.07158032354884726,0.0848141852916221,0.0,0.059678779962115076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598439444685866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609907984153649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06632385007580653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06082357702923005,0.0,0.0,0.1621452117621554,0.0,0.10540970993700928,0.1093636634148346,0.0,0.0,0.06603452534212119,0.06266027330057072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06734560059178031,0.07060529530600299,0.0996161035035964,0.0,0.0,0.08128080738968335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1786779740495178,0.15861411442785794,0.0,0.0,0.05754995235546749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20225217846324176,0.11350060560506542,0.0,0.0,0.08285438758050462,0.08080395331087148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08412051138034671,0.07146335646289732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501163537358367,0.1671783310551272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097874454840386,0.0593391777162201,0.0,0.0,0.05946083423975899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3086236390331525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05281495921449996,0.0,0.05958998014215763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683102048484335,0.11995014108935614,0.06521936505340785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24786420559875535,0.04781216050046309,0.0,0.05923830634392632,0.04351031859034375,0.0,0.07072907855847513,0.14260127121348126,0.0,0.05066068054899568,0.16232577475265236,0.21867264342272266,0.0,0.0897561896412279,0.0644459389708471,0.0,0.0,0.3520927358768004,0.05922824448201626,0.11970801487922185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733108123553465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601288179745258,0.0,0.0,0.048051504390994065
divorce,for_divorce,2018/03/20,"i know i want out I know I want out of my marriage. I'm just not happy anymore. The problem is, I'm not mad at my wife, I am just not in love with her anymore, and she doesn't make much money and we have a 5 year old together. So I don't know how she will support herself much less her and a child. How do I tell her I want a divorce. Do I tell her? or do I just filing and surprise her and move out one day? How do I do this as civil as possible?",-0.9677884615384612,0.4072439519230819,2.0813846153846143,98.66361538461538,85.44230769230771,4.929230769230768,20.015384615384615,5.6839178017228535,-0.34669692307692257,337,10,90,2,10,120,57,104,0.094,0.784,0.122,-0.3134,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,1,0,0,0,7,6,1,0,4,0,11,1,0,4,0,28,22,12,0,4,7,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,10,0,0,3,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,0,0,22,4,9,21,3,9,0,0,0,1,16,5,0,1,3,67,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016311280894036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13058922996429742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21555425729091696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3338494502803777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18275503493571996,0.0,0.1351635765067485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21521471164294184,0.2977067415356769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2124790811323705,0.0,0.13721239255451298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22827693065376356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375548155993064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22978313193070898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3539701846619447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3583013571804396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13039685274945548
divorce,gonenow0,2018/03/20,"Mutual friend hinted we should go out, good for me? Ever since I stopped wearing my wedding ring, I seemed to have gotten more attention from women. There’s a mutual friend of ours who I never thought might of had feelings for me. Wife and I tried to work through it due to infidelity on her part but I threw in the towel. She’s hurt but she did this to herself. 

The mutual friend and I ran into each other and she heard about everything. Then asked me if I’m seeing someone right now. She asked me if I still had her number and basically said call me whenever. I didn’t have it still so she put it in my phone.

Man I haven’t dated in years and have no game/desire right now to try. Is she basically telling me she wants to have sex?

I don’t seek out women and don’t really look anymore. Scared of getting hurt again.",1.8189285714285717,3.8507904166666687,3.325238095238096,89.92392857142859,79.35714285714286,6.5809523809523816,20.61904761904762,7.6454224807358475,0.6587547619047625,642,17,138,10,16,211,102,168,0.107,0.823,0.07,-0.8464,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,3,0,14,2,1,0,2,25,30,12,0,4,4,1,1,0,3,2,0,3,0,3,6,11,0,1,4,0,0,4,6,3,0,0,10,6,30,4,21,18,3,25,0,2,2,1,28,9,0,4,12,98,36,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15850070132256835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2988244112338479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319636054571718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14456835217512107,0.0,0.0,0.14363791010314084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081091889472469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.37043476288465976,0.0,0.08350051595141245,0.0,0.09083065336325204,0.13405129930763848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3421859939818919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13421041643544446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954612383833445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326475236418942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17307189471488466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1606654789502919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10238620958152082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27297461316468224,0.15202753454667026,0.0,0.16000992806962885,0.0,0.12735762077891072,0.14549615080244538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13220659577328855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541685228838068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25526847008456943,0.13361853615824734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396916687784925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12688099404246245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21701759903820286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09426728893929423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11635248300595608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1029202726858544
divorce,babybird04,2018/03/20,"Advice and/or reassurance I'm not crazy I'm 29, married 10 years with 3 kids under 8. Husband is a military man. 

We've always had our ups and downs. Two years after getting married I told him I was leaving because of his anger issues. He would get in my face and throw things. I stayed because he took it upon himself to seek help. After getting help, he calmed down a lot. 

But he still gets angry over little things and he has the ability to make me feel worthless and stupid. A lot of time I feel like a teenager he's reprimanding. 

Throughout the years I've had moments where I think ""what am I doing here?"" Or ""I should've left."" When things are good, life is enjoyable. Now I just feel like I've had enough. 

Recently, he got angry at me for accidentally disconnecting the dryer vent from the wall. I said sorry multiple times and explained that I was deep cleaning and didn't realize how far I moved the dryer. In front of friends and our kids, he told me I was stupid and that I needed to stop cleaning and touch nothing else because I was destroying the house. It did take him a long time to fix it but his words tore a hole in my heart. I cried for a long time and he didn't apologize. He never apologizes when he yells or says rude things to me or our children.

Earlier this month, he kept nagging me about what's for dinner. He would have the kids ask me over and over until I would give him an answer. Well one afternoon I woke up from a little nap and the first thing he asked was ""what's for dinner?"" I was livid. I told him I no longer wanted to be asked and I wouldn't cook if anyone asked me again. He blew up. He told me that I don't have the right to tell him what he can or cannot ask me and cussed me out in front of our kids.

A few weeks after he made me feel like dirt again. He came home from work, I told him I needed to finish grocery shopping, he took two of our kids and he was peeved I left the youngest with him. I came back about two hours later and he angrily helped me put away the groceries so I asked him what was wrong. He yelled at me and told me that I was taking time away from his schooling and he had less time to work on a project. He told me I was disrespectful for leaving the kids with him and taking so long and that I was basically saying ""f*** you,"" by taking time away from him. I told him I was sorry and had no idea he needed me back at a certain time. 

After that episode I just stopped caring. He always yells at the kids even though I ask him to stop. He tells me that they don't listen and it's the only way and I can't tell him what to do. I feel crazy because he acts like nothing happened after he lashes out, never apologizes, and goes on about life. Meanwhile I'm over here feeling like a knife has gone through my heart. I can't imagine living this way forever. I'm also scared that my kids will resent me or have major issues if I divorce their father. He doesn't believe in divorce so I know he will fight me tooth and nail. 

If you read all of this, thank you. Advice is greatly appreciated! ",1.8478293991714632,3.676107041204439,3.051932604887817,92.89893040843,78.42947702060222,5.759290460700086,21.054327578057663,6.5966054737557815,0.18899197041732752,2377,63,526,21,57,766,262,631,0.118,0.8,0.08199999999999999,-0.9723,0,0,0,0,3,0,66.0,5,3,2,3,24,26,8,1,27,0,46,9,4,3,4,80,102,44,0,11,13,2,7,5,1,6,2,7,3,10,26,32,3,4,13,4,1,11,14,11,1,5,38,14,89,15,68,57,7,92,0,1,0,0,106,36,0,10,47,328,115,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10724529385659767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043883052863896564,0.09131982462749512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03836946949699229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3591012183281615,0.0,0.15466896836632246,0.08439008167509647,0.0,0.1338037454222882,0.0,0.0,0.061824678700320664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255234327192877,0.0559481271231773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060276972313424375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045840535549782055,0.0,0.0,0.05669994344501905,0.0,0.036244036063879936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647692952809698,0.15680918293167742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04667615257220447,0.0,0.0,0.04239583981895996,0.0,0.11467847579452513,0.05264054269433237,0.0,0.04602605896417705,0.043888085563032884,0.060499240416412775,0.0,0.0,0.04852526729177474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300529009023097,0.11034349859304096,0.0,0.05504351621181748,0.0,0.05404024887744726,0.06331771167880006,0.0,0.0619465394528631,0.0,0.11454927274627645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030157545465350287,0.0,0.0,0.11620817247134073,0.11924243310555364,0.0,0.07751884961164983,0.13404434598260734,0.109997167266982,0.048455117118882715,0.1456864014396265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09330453701904316,0.0,0.05192350184705822,0.036629100635076316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04380023752883192,0.05832282286881225,0.0,0.12206605861768002,0.08464506931035147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530696956000862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03718432631891709,0.04173446820975039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055163947278894544,0.0,0.0,0.05488926856592697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05418186843506781,0.0,0.0,0.04686245379989827,0.05219813836466705,0.0872766806058273,0.054938866107408287,0.05553584139951162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285483835386522,0.0,0.058488829133890086,0.043822781713008664,0.13763241361382494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16503493483409887,0.0,0.143887982075758,0.050520992191716886,0.0,0.0,0.18228062755701505,0.03516131181518572,0.05391383782778841,0.0,0.255981718980188,0.0,0.0,0.4194788698017959,0.12193499668789605,0.0,0.0,0.160813000716895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032366353937054615,0.08711351884958454,0.04401694876248525,0.0,0.04933869262599109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0798984608298443,0.0,0.0,0.1169436380082809,0.05999656259320173,0.0,0.1060119796760163
divorce,Taiwanelm,2018/03/20,"Holiday sharing, I’m uninvited for Easter. How do you share holidays? My partner has moved out over March Break,  and just today he uninvited me for his families Easter dinner. It’s a tradition in his family to have big extended dinners for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Its a drive out there, dinner, a stay overnight, and and a drive back, and he wants to bring our kid (3 years) with him, specifically without me. We’ve done it together for the extent of our relationship, and his family doesn’t know about us yet, I’m still in email chains for bringing food. Our child doesn’t know, I say that daddy is at work (he works away from home 5 days a week, back on weekends).

It’s all so fresh, we don’t have a separation agreement, we haven’t agreed on anything yet, we agreed to keep still status quo until we see a counsellor in a few weeks. And this hurts, since I’ve never uninvited him to anything before, I’ve always expressly invited him, and he’s simply refused to join in. 

What do your holiday sharing/special day sharing arrangements look like? I need advice on setting up a good plan for this. It’s all so new....",5.077434715821814,6.215318064516133,5.984718894009216,77.92184024577574,68.81566820276498,9.473302611367126,30.134869431643626,9.725611199111238,2.842858924731184,888,34,167,20,15,293,132,217,0.027000000000000003,0.815,0.158,0.9759,0,0,0,0,0,0,38.0,8,2,0,3,12,7,0,0,10,0,11,4,0,1,3,27,22,12,0,2,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,1,3,9,15,4,2,2,4,0,5,6,1,0,0,1,3,21,6,30,21,4,39,0,1,2,0,30,14,0,0,18,104,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456277838110474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1240026783487385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2452735921614653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14001608386127404,0.2291856384189773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268112829397679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19222060051365844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15250670156727186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42146911585022223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18020444110258735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12499705532015473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494865646936974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15953684089766765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324623398539233,0.0,0.0,0.16380304825952732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07280722663299409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12514542517952554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15839246897577294,0.0,0.11050187817603437,0.11493906549113025,0.14393152565467313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15999958238022854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11851251572872018,0.0,0.0,0.11875548877307808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12327694883164356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15884330693075793,0.23802683928803986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14126048519286966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792615308469024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08790018143266551,0.0,0.2390814726835981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14365702975670028,0.0,0.21698734484558824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09596871559562796
divorce,RealLifeLover123456,2018/03/20,"Reconciliation vs Divorce My husband and I are going through a very rough patch. We are currently separated, he moved out 3 weeks ago: together for 7 & married 3
I don’t want to divorce but he’s adamant he does and has been telling everybody around us even neighbors what we are going through and painted me to be this horrible person. 

He is a classic manipulator and emotionally abusive to me and has been flipping all the things I tell him were issues for me to basically be the victim. He’s angry because he feels I abandoned him by leaving for a few days after he wouldn’t speak to me in our house for days and days. After a few days  we agreed to move forward and work on things and seek counseling, I moved back in and he moved out the same day. 

I’m finding out from various people some things he’s saying about me and I feel that he’s made our business everyone’s and he continues to do things he can’t come back from. No one in his family has reached out, not even after he moved back in with his mother. 

What makes me sad is that he wants to divorce and he’s been contemplating it for months now. So I ask if I had not left what would happen, he said we’d still be together but eventually it wasn’t working out. 
What kills me is I know he hasn’t put his all into this marriage because he’s always said he didn’t want to as his parents’ failed, we went to one therapy session and he said he didn’t want to go anymore. 
We are not communicating so the distance has settled and I know that his friends got his ear and I suspect that he’s been seeing someone else already. 
He makes everything my fault and won’t own up to 1 thing!

I want to fight for my marriage but he is in his emotions and it’s hard to get him to even talk to me. 
Should I keep fighting (if yes then how)  or should I let go?",3.7117900598061446,4.568522254691693,4.905268096514746,85.44630800164983,71.76139410187669,7.883233656424005,29.09146215714581,8.139509932561175,1.7822828212002468,1423,55,307,20,26,471,179,373,0.141,0.813,0.046,-0.9919,2,0,0,0,6,0,24.0,9,0,0,3,13,9,4,0,8,1,35,1,1,5,2,67,63,28,1,11,10,3,4,0,2,5,0,6,1,1,18,31,0,2,6,0,0,13,12,8,0,2,15,11,44,1,47,38,8,47,0,3,1,0,65,16,0,4,20,200,62,4,0.0,0.1013443456046272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07582113584343947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943894009540656,0.0,0.07117152077848954,0.09267654911633147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08482719818385759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07614380165712971,0.0799631715897616,0.0,0.0,0.19731215459307344,0.0,0.10428202294964617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07368036151783755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758132454412981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748517802867454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07145306381580799,0.19242950444205706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16948410772835132,0.0,0.0,0.08173183977306643,0.07687285523259292,0.0,0.08063427429060546,0.0,0.08649758361070922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781769446950244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608370979477621,0.0,0.044688223812018465,0.0,0.19444481367520045,0.0,0.06840971949560784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563783840860484,0.0,0.07662207336520557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0986952800397146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08927575122574022,0.0,0.07602695602079916,0.09463120439373643,0.0,0.09401500199855542,0.0,0.0,0.09056864043937428,0.09293343849561383,0.08746477807305593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08093477195503042,0.11418982932044758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06827278804141404,0.4545479600513874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592072429119095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497589288790506,0.0,0.0,0.059298823134536376,0.07468538919286148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08598575470328378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24408856922623776,0.06802043381656914,0.0,0.0,0.06815988855501033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07247306838802636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06830792836015892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06874935706285021,0.14952177212126624,0.0,0.0978161067125117,0.0,0.28412646486366905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10288742096016147,0.0,0.0,0.07057488544554412,0.2522521961853897,0.0,0.06861058255934714,0.0,0.0,0.07929129916475147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12454020774386093,0.0,0.0,0.06076122460352432,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwitawaynowgtine,2018/03/20,"M25 My wife and I are separated now. I got a lawyer. She was abusive. I’m going to tell her I’m filing at the next session. (Venting some anxiety about everything) I worry worry worry about my 3 year old son. He’s my whole world. I just want him to be happy and healthy. The other day I had him, and we have this dry erase board. He asked me to draw him and draw me. Then he asked me to draw his mom, and I drew her but I drew her off to the side with his grandma (they are living with her since she left) and he got really upset that I didn’t draw her with me and him. It tears me apart. I stayed for a long time because I wanted what’s best for him and there is always this nagging feeling that what I’m doing is wrong. But he needs a happy healthy father right? My mom told me that and that’s something that’s really helped me. I’m so worried for him. 

My wife has been my best friend for 10 years. But I can’t forgive her for the abuse. We are so alike, from political affiliations to music to books and movies. I can’t forgive her again though. I’m scared to be alone. We were high school sweet hearts and I’ve never really been alone. I’ve never not been with her. 

I’m scared of the process and the lawyer. I’m scared of the money and the house. I’m scared it will turn into a knock down drag out fight even though I don’t want it to be.

I’m so sad. I’m throwing myself into my work and the gym to try and distract myself. I can’t sleep anymore. It just doesn’t come. 

My head and gut are telling me it’s time to leave but my heart is so broken. I’ve never been without her in my life. 

I just need someone to tell me my son will be ok. I’ve never cried so much before. ",-0.500800254858234,1.542742035616442,1.5248486779229076,99.2488913666773,88.91780821917808,4.272061165976426,15.337687161516405,5.593185093668076,-0.965333227142402,1293,25,315,8,43,427,167,365,0.18600000000000005,0.696,0.118,-0.9803,0,2,1,0,2,0,40.0,3,0,1,3,16,19,2,6,13,1,29,6,5,0,4,49,53,28,0,5,9,7,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,15,27,0,0,3,2,1,3,12,10,0,0,11,2,60,9,34,36,5,32,0,1,0,0,46,13,0,1,15,196,75,6,0.0,0.20593424357008494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18001283184504724,0.0,0.0,0.07231115464710065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06648138181278887,0.0,0.08618549356622814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248716350733042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297591934204837,0.0,0.07394896960101087,0.0,0.18240093663756396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07486016819498555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09546004899581666,0.05604594092319102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05739932391550422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781037817105105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04394131301859795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06714187509772078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04938959023987747,0.0,0.13901026005072414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1850220140385533,0.0,0.0,0.08918865586813726,0.0,0.0,0.20596350174372716,0.05824997163256439,0.09181892978538343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10027563806178612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0920188706571606,0.09442153503869204,0.0,0.061382920359284374,0.0,0.0,0.07673789304172499,0.07690737432938193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20356201168461405,0.0,0.0,0.06388449665070363,0.12887654537767632,0.2681031297194365,0.0,0.09242347287176923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119121103489554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16701893304308427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421560778702525,0.0,0.0,0.3480245705187687,0.08795156653614115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07188795137406305,0.0,0.08696683909851186,0.0,0.0736335432857628,0.06690300500328075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09262818420602094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22787398390615554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17076563082273408,0.0,0.10134893350656868,0.0,0.0,0.08304057073357493,0.0,0.059002164437117685,0.09452668174360312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15377483045672485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0970252995776272,0.0,0.08377243002498078,0.0,0.06326720381581466,0.3530212385848936,0.0,0.0,0.09501596687616123,0.0,0.11192675395611196
divorce,SuperRadRichie,2018/03/20,"Not sure what to write. Just writing. I’m 36. I’ve been with my wife for 20years tomorrow. 
We did get divorce once and came back together. 

She said she loved everything about me. My drive to complete my goals, the way I’m always helping other, how I’m a great father and a very thoughtful man. 

Well about 6mo who I found she was having an affair with a what I thought was Avery good friend who ent through a divorce. I helped that dude try to fix his marriage and had a shoulder for him to cry on when it went south. He’s a woman degrading and super nasty man. I am far from that. I’m loving all the way around. 
Not saying that because I’m me and I don’t know my down falls. I truly am. 

When I found out she decided to stop all contact with him and try to make us work but never really told me what I was doing wrong. I tried to forgive her but here we are today after I large argument a couple weeks ago and now she’s looking for a house with her best girl friend. 

I’m devastated. 

I’ve learned since then that My ADHD has consumed me and I am always doing or thinking of something else. My next project. My next business idea. 
I’m always trying to think of a way out of the rat race and get my family to the next level of no stress. 
I’m always helping friends and I’m always busy. 
If and when she ever asks I stop everything and get or do what she wants. 
I didn’t know I wasn’t completely emotionally here. She didn’t tell me. She didn’t tell me that’s why she sought after this piece of shit friend I had. 

At this moment I’m selling all my cars. One I’ve had and have built for 18 years. I’m selling my truck she wrecked while with him and then i rebuilt. I never even yelled at her when she totaled my big diesel. I just made everything happen. I made sure she felt loved and I made sure to rebuild it. 

I tell her I love her multiple times a day. I tell her she’s gorgeous and irreplaceable. I get butterfly everyone she gets in the shower. I embrace her stretch marks and love her voice.its not enough. 

I’m a man that needs to stay busy and at this point I am hyper focused on finding out exactly what I’ve done and how to never do it again. 

We’re not divorced as of now but I’m not sure how this will play out. I’m scared. I’m fearful. I’m sad. I’m full of anxiety and depression. I’ve started seeing a counselor but the in between days I have hours of crying. I become full of hate and anger. The sadness is to much to bear. 

Our son is excited (12yrold ) because I’m the disciplinary in the house. He’s excited for a new home and the fact that he will have less rules. It breaks my fucking heart knowing I won’t see him every day. That he might end up with a step father who really might not have his best interest in mind. 

I don’t know. I hate this. I hate the fact that I want told that I was to busy. I hate the fact that when I asked if I could do anything or she wanted to go out she said no. She made me feel like she was supporting me. She made me feel like everything was ok. 

She is depressed a lot from her fucking work. That place eats her alive and they don’t respect her at all. That’s all she talks about. Always a bad day at work. Seriously 80% of the time. 
She also went through great cancer at a very young age and now the doctors don’t do shit when she has problems. I seriously dislike  the medical field. She’s always in pain. I always offer to help and get her what she wants but she says she fine. I don’t even know what I could do if I just tried. 
I try to hold her. I try to comfort her. 

I do know I can become distant. The more she gets depressed and I can’t help I become more depressed. That’s an issue no doubt. I’m the type of guy who just needs to know he can help. That makes me happy. That makes me feel loved. Other than that I just need some positive affirmations thrown my way. When i get that I’m glowing for weeks ! 

So I know I’m wrong in areas. 

The hard part is I meant my vows this time. Through sickness and health. Through the good and the bad. She’s my partner. My best friend. She’s my everything and I’ve only ever excelled because she made me feel like I could by allowing me the freedom to do so. 

Also. We let each other go out with friends anytime. No questions. No texts. Go out and have ME time. 
I’ve never been jealous until she cheated on me...


WTF..... FUCK !
I’m just a fucking wreck. I can’t trust my friends, and I won’t have my wife. 
Thinking about new hobbies and new friends hurts as much as loosing her. 

I’m trying to stay positive and work on my flaws. I’m working on maintaining my ADHD, Im focusing on me and every flaw I have. Figuring out how to handle this and be better for me, and my son. ",0.4304694491445744,2.552368261928933,2.2227820078962206,95.37071747508932,85.16243654822334,5.191295356269976,20.49092874600489,6.51773550054525,0.1356721188193264,3618,112,824,38,108,1190,355,985,0.162,0.655,0.183,0.978,1,0,1,0,3,0,111.0,5,0,1,12,38,78,13,4,41,1,65,21,4,14,20,164,166,69,0,14,23,6,6,3,9,6,6,5,2,7,43,57,1,3,28,1,2,10,28,33,1,1,36,15,155,45,96,119,22,108,0,7,4,10,126,39,6,12,55,521,198,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0987483458418111,0.0,0.03641788876506028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06570864028029733,0.2734769399712682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03142863115647955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033808075928930516,0.03657286939916108,0.07681472602231768,0.0,0.0,0.03159054098407961,0.06860572060632028,0.07513204075083006,0.1361199140485601,0.0,0.0,0.12934324476711515,0.036334862340101234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04698837904965785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08615016918831253,0.0,0.0,0.09840507603778637,0.04545791766839008,0.09025620672318364,0.1059813834828546,0.0,0.1415400304066739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04205052396226492,0.0,0.04204250527600924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203849791356477,0.03431984632016042,0.04621321093340541,0.036387631751660585,0.04245005696501058,0.0,0.054270297360896586,0.0743244390107042,0.06922894640277225,0.03925687760158777,0.18461521710079912,0.0,0.03872970246489281,0.046230162442001496,0.08309185409423996,0.08804980671463836,0.03944643470246039,0.0,0.03754941474069215,0.0,0.0,0.0900914906161916,0.2539269997176569,0.15192348772898262,0.17171473318518204,0.0,0.07004580104802373,0.06891748760909527,0.0,0.0905890216453894,0.0,0.04067895083719091,0.036329848596333286,0.04373396337806005,0.036802589590904815,0.16224511162623634,0.0,0.0436696533063862,0.0,0.04868393790481733,0.16522372039172253,0.0,0.04120992468029349,0.0,0.040458799495548856,0.09480928213854499,0.04398054909212882,0.04637807321817216,0.04437704090782255,0.04288031749180818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1806265678794398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04201048326818023,0.0,0.060213712152820224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03449964587987478,0.0,0.0,0.03492757374081883,0.22247582874453356,0.2332442126720411,0.08227031531577425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04138712772811719,0.0,0.08716583091062016,0.04148244668608991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060401941930336975,0.09138829471389956,0.12674397171192742,0.11903559380408095,0.13107774657576154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043752400284545724,0.02783912424840766,0.03124571992961945,0.04371555436403054,0.0,0.0,0.04448923740799597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04292333045972234,0.0,0.03883702140629781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03931119357760632,0.0,0.0,0.046022726333511135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05263805995630972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815930007747739,0.06534221796935266,0.041131575344762465,0.0,0.06547618185938983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08434288540882458,0.03398455096334565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03162795071602634,0.0,0.0,0.029078988872582562,0.08757871622775022,0.0,0.06869499853856871,0.047060809953710016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0466208703231074,0.15488219035403658,0.0,0.0,0.03302122040685476,0.14363454739878115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897360731760594,0.0,0.06523114195770299,0.09582406870694066,0.0,0.03894218832995437,0.07851375520317554,0.0,0.22314304702630688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04941818148949957,0.0,0.0,0.06779609139778107,0.09692803801188704,0.13044012437766356,0.06590913037524718,0.0,0.03693884306222284,0.0761693076975684,0.03707131068823267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14954574941209706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983633298526586,0.0,0.02645631431469425
divorce,4theloveofglob,2018/03/21,"He wants to go to trial!? Whyyyy!?? Losing my mind. After dragging this out for almost a year, his lawyer not answering my lawyer’s emails, phones calls, etc. making for delays, delays, delays, never wanting to make it to mediation (sorry, out of town! Sorry those dates don’t work!) mine finally just submitted a settlement agreement because we’ve adjourned the trial so many times! SBTX blows a gasket: texts me...”screw your offer! Trial!” Then calls me: “I read your offer! Never talk to me again! Screw your offer!”

I’m gobsmacked! A trial will cost mountains of cash and lots more time, also mountains of cash, and Mountains of Cash, that we do not have!! This is a no fault divorce state. What could possibly be the point here? 

What can I expect? Has it gotten this far with anyone here? (Michigan)",2.4134751261715905,5.318026821917812,3.08629416005768,86.62182768565249,85.57534246575342,4.991492429704398,19.32804614275415,6.5966054737557815,0.4736356164383562,620,17,106,7,19,194,100,146,0.086,0.892,0.022,-0.7979999999999999,0,0,0,0,1,0,41.0,1,3,0,2,6,4,1,0,7,0,9,1,0,2,2,24,16,5,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,9,6,0,3,1,1,4,1,6,3,0,0,1,0,12,1,15,12,3,20,0,1,0,1,15,5,1,2,13,69,21,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1804874863395363,0.0,0.0,0.1441403880712063,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260302067072664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098745559610833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368096832754976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14390949488283347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20101876593261395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974475690150568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10243634021088348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20164598902214226,0.0,0.15323628709744838,0.0,0.0,0.2406274147158485,0.18273827159838466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1819942077014493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2780292696715736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703880437383533,0.20319707824445435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18029193403147525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40353491658098495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14487262264825987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21020246943265256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2126241686696916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13121916547174364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11607068403749304
divorce,_user_is_undefined_,2018/03/21,"Divorce looming - need advice to prepare Sorry for the wall of text! tldr is right below...


tldr; Realized Jehovah's Witness religion is a cult. Wife found out and is threatening to leave me if I don't remain a Witness. Married 14 years and still love her. We've been together since we were 19, now 35. Unsure how to proceed in Texas.


It seems that my marriage of 14 years is likely going to end in divorce. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with this. We've had  our share of ups and downs through the years, but nothing we couldn't ever work out. 


That is until recently. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness and was, for the most part, a true believer. Over the past few years I've been noticing inconsistencies, inaccuracies, outright manipulations of scriptures and other things that made me question my faith. I've since realized that myself and my family have been caught up in a cult and I no longer have any her desire to remain in the faith. Well my wife is still a true believer. Due to her indoctrination, she perceives any attacks on her faith or religion as an attack on her. It has also caused her to associate intimacy and happiness with ""spiritual"" things. So in her indoctrinated mind, she sees no path to happiness outside of her faith. She has stated that she would leave me if I left the religion. 


I still love and care for her, but the situation is untenable. I'm still attending meetings and half-assed walking through our ""ministry"" occasionally in an effort to save out marriage, but this is going to have to end eventually. The stress of the double life is going to kill me. 


So in all likelihood, we'll end up divorcing. I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity to learn who I really am (as opposed to who I was due to cult) and to reinvent myself. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to proceed.


I'm located in TX. We have no real assets. Just $12k or so in an IRA. Rent our home. No kids, thankfully. (can't imagine dealing with this and having kids.) I do have some furniture that has been passed down from deceased family I don't want to lose, as well as a few guns and some electronics. Otherwise, she can keep everything else as far as I am concerned.


My biggest fear is I am thoroughly unprepared for surviving on my own. No real savings to draw from at the moment, credit needs rebuilding and around $10k in credit card debt, but we are about to start making large payments on that. I'm hoping to have a new job soon, but we'll see how that goes. Hoping to move to an apartment near the job to cut down on some expenses.


I have time (at the moment) to prepare and just want to make sure the appropriate steps are being taken. 


Sorry for the lengthy post!
",4.3058140781905045,5.714899519011407,5.620190114068444,78.79075996880181,70.92015209125475,8.816925026810956,28.696304962464666,9.265573868473778,2.490322569952228,2121,80,405,45,39,711,246,526,0.099,0.735,0.166,0.9941,4,0,0,1,2,1,73.0,9,0,0,5,21,31,4,2,28,0,45,3,0,8,5,81,79,40,1,11,12,2,1,1,0,3,1,0,2,2,19,27,0,2,8,0,5,11,9,7,2,0,12,5,48,24,90,62,11,80,5,1,4,2,40,39,0,13,29,286,67,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16851701636585312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895445824911517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11727252055326365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07675892805807982,0.0,0.19618778613859775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942931016868038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08791258912173963,0.08857728523651122,0.0,0.07427558705970445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08889464898272925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07203029617123716,0.0,0.2291104570449989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799585267311086,0.0,0.0,0.07749387128039828,0.0,0.16257135379603196,0.09702759918204107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945417513099485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14701172458563389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09498705023588618,0.0,0.0,0.18357718187177366,0.07724106347597924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08649115302629483,0.17128264753740774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17113090128483144,0.0766411384862722,0.0953956809618806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826005953080249,0.09368419969095236,0.0,0.06090358270702269,0.042125397643845375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144815316907198,0.09646421878828287,0.0,0.0,0.15564366349349165,0.0815886021276897,0.11511230990594927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08706312064548444,0.0,0.0,0.09164400359635684,0.0,0.1278701517370455,0.0,0.08327707333575025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08273564123247837,0.09816824210441248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09337375572827022,0.08231194510047585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825801426350647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09659223346997516,0.0,0.0,0.19628687007083095,0.05523822882483417,0.0,0.08513722590022174,0.0,0.0,0.07363606000745425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13742103410070253,0.07849640790500176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14265316040755793,0.09692101433931534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930446554902968,0.0610308146870059,0.0,0.2754390111701473,0.0,0.09877095740468904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0812664626960882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07938480619368395,0.0,0.0,0.11456871026257626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10055750228169512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05854141804684972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10171600449725618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15505406295667373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277315184232221,0.0,0.0,0.06125208311852187,0.0,0.0,0.22210544160477008
divorce,shyrose79,2018/03/21,How did you know it was over? Pretty sure I'm there. But afraid to take that step to leaving.,-1.1406666666666678,0.9285676000000008,-0.009999999999999787,107.00833333333334,98.0,2.666666666666667,11.666666666666668,3.1291,-2.0548333333333333,72,1,18,0,3,22,19,20,0.0,0.7559999999999999,0.244,0.6705,0,0,0,0,0,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,3,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,11,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778665030005457,0.0,0.0,0.5353611841818484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5143806051265616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.476525387333562,0.0,0.38015096643029583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Lifestare,2018/03/21,"Wife wants to come back home after being gone a month Her name is on the house, so I don’t think I can keep her out legally. Just really concerned with how it’s going to look to my daughter. I found out she was having an affair at the end of February and I told her to get her clothes and leave. We can’t get a divorce right now for legal reasons and I don’t know how long they are going to take to get resolved. I’m thinking of going to therapy, but I just really don’t want to have to deal with her everyday. ",3.429111969111972,3.4690121171171207,5.0519433719433735,87.08594594594597,71.97297297297297,8.144658944658946,25.76705276705277,7.957251820313856,1.2524404118404109,399,11,91,5,7,136,74,111,0.011,0.931,0.057,0.3752,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,1,0,1,1,7,1,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,3,0,24,30,7,0,2,3,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,9,0,1,6,0,0,5,4,0,0,0,4,1,15,1,19,25,0,17,0,0,1,0,15,5,0,0,7,62,16,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15176508722070595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17001648755905338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20347945510938845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1748109381643308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21640564715400495,0.0,0.0,0.3093525068793073,0.0,0.3365091820002353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19797786358313232,0.0,0.0,0.22773809065726605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17543122422565252,0.0,0.0,0.10846920460469052,0.0,0.0,0.2089859741903337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17466594006058725,0.1657408073094197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15753858123856865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2528801189072401,0.20292888446678853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16855261298832566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839742291037372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257094095003413,0.0,0.0,0.2529330200186703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18859517018781205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328274807072684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,avocadonttryit,2018/03/21,"Husband left me Monday night First time poster here. A friend of mine suggested this group for support/advice. My husband and I have been together 8 years, married 2 and a half years. Things with him and I have been spiraling since December when my husband stopped taking his bipolar medication cold turkey (and decided he isn't bipolar anymore), a month after I found out I was pregnant with our first child. (We planned to start a family together so the pregnancy wasn't unplanned) Since then, it's been a vicious cycle every week. One week we'd be great, the next week he'd threaten to leave me but then change his mind. Each time he threatened to leave it was a different reason, but when he changed his mind he'd say he didn't mean any of it. In the past month his behavior has become emotionally abusive at times. He's screamed in my face, called me a fucking bitch, given me the silent treatment for days on end and refused to communicate with me about our problems. We've seen a marriage counselor 3 times now and the last time we went, he expressed remorse over how he's treated me and said he loved me and wanted to work on things. Last week however, he became a totally different person. He gave me the silent treatment again, then blew up in my face, then went drinking and partying the entire weekend alone. On Monday after my prenatal checkup, he shut down yet again and withheld communication. I pushed for him to talk and when he finally did, he said he wanted a divorce, that he didn't love me, and that he didn't care about me or ""it"", it being our daughter I'm 6 months pregnant with. I got angry and emotional which resulted in him storming out of our parked car. He returned home hours later, frantically threw all his clothes and things into boxes and said he was leaving me. He wouldn't tell me why. It got more emotional, a couple family members were called over and I was taken into one's car so I wouldn't have to watch him leaving. By the end of it he agreed to just bring some clothes to go stay with his brother a few days. His things are sitting around the house in boxes. I thought he'd cool off, but yesterday he left me a letter saying he's been looking at apartments and leased a storage unit to put his things into. He agreed to an informal trial separation for now. He also said he wants to come into our home to visit our cats and relax before he goes to work every day. He assumed I'd be at work during this time, but I lost my job yesterday. I guess I'm here to see if there's anything I can do to try and delay or prevent a divorce from happening. Before he went off meds, things between us were amazing. We've even had great moments together just weeks ago. Up until last Thursday, he told me daily he loved me. I'm confused, heartbroken and emotionally shattered. 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divorce,mamatobee328,2018/03/21,"Getting my ducks in a row (Florida) Hello all,

It is with a heavy heart that I am posting here. I (25F) need to seek a divorce from my husband. 

We have a one year old son together. 

We have a joint checking account but we don’t have much money. We just got our tax return but that’s about it.

We have a home but my parents hold the note. I was extremely fortunate and given an inheritance (stocks) from a grandparent. I sold these stocks, which were a premarital asset, to use as a down payment. Needless to say, I really believe that I deserve to keep our house. 

My husband has had 9 jobs in the past calendar year. I have had the same job for the past 5 years (teacher). 

I know I need to seek the advice of a lawyer and eventually go about hiring one. However, I would appreciate any advice on what to do. I don’t know where to begin. 

I just feel really, really hopeless. ",1.2616631578947377,3.5654905828571444,3.5106766917293237,86.29774436090227,83.17142857142858,6.8842105263157904,23.496240601503768,8.032893268588372,1.4872285714285716,672,25,138,14,19,230,108,175,0.03,0.9,0.069,0.7377,5,0,0,0,1,1,29.0,7,0,0,0,6,1,0,0,16,0,16,1,1,1,1,24,29,6,0,3,5,4,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,8,8,0,2,3,0,6,1,2,1,0,2,7,2,23,0,19,21,3,15,0,1,0,0,14,5,0,0,8,96,31,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3191346503309698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11104434925119204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18397448045817053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825654826466686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531347613749599,0.0,0.092802765228038,0.0,0.1305997525502843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19350213683727785,0.0,0.0,0.16379546987613358,0.0,0.0,0.1884173659255436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32408478099203336,0.14514168040266856,0.0,0.0,0.17948233215331538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003861371580675,0.24215831161985266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713477780931044,0.0,0.2213021485762891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1813167514917099,0.0,0.3117619144249838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1563888651274696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31382764579650424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985657433337772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14103210031784072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1159981499176006,0.0,0.0,0.3154646217859937
divorce,Anonmouse4991,2018/03/21,My wife is seeing someone now and I think our marriage is over. How do I cope with the trauma of knowing our marriage s over? My wife and I are separated but still live together. My wife has been spending a lot of time with a friend of hers from college. My friend who is a pizza delivery guy part time called me and said my wife was at an apartment and answered. My friend said she was in a guys shirt. They guy came amd paid he was wearing s robe and was wrapped in a blanket. I asked around and the guynshes hooking up with has leukemia and my wife has been dating him. How do I deal with this?,2.0052993348115287,3.829687756097563,2.8733481152993363,94.37813747228384,77.9430894308943,5.773540280857352,25.00295639320029,6.574015621080383,0.6515918699186996,466,17,104,4,11,147,73,123,0.016,0.8759999999999999,0.109,0.924,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,2,0,1,0,5,4,0,0,8,0,15,3,2,2,0,20,23,10,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,3,2,13,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,0,10,3,19,3,15,13,2,14,0,0,1,0,26,8,0,1,5,73,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635307483473862,0.17173344390113934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18757686437280927,0.2101023221819574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18938524599020545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4257753729570724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5456716452670477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10095597604867686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220927690916553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1561740264198586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989277408706956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494789728549705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14638404361350413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15564727332491324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14670198229786566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11770667999265558,0.0,0.0,0.214232324709212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,HurtinSteve,2018/03/21,"First post - really hurting. My wife and I married young. I was 17 and she was 16. We had 4 kids together, all over the age of majority now. We were married for 33 years. Last year she asked me to move out.
We have been apart for 14 months now, and it has been pretty rough on me. I have spent a good part of that time grieving, and just now started to feel some hope for the future. Until this last weekend. 
She started seeing someone else. It hurts so bad. All the pain is fresh and raw, and I am right back to where I was last year. It hurts so much. I can't help but think, all those things that she did that made me love her, now she is giving to him. 
I never thought I would feel this way..",0.47009132420091493,2.4235256438356174,1.703260273972603,100.18717351598177,83.65753424657535,4.715251141552511,17.267579908675803,5.6839178017228535,-0.7620387214611877,528,11,129,3,15,167,95,146,0.097,0.795,0.108,0.5643,0,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,3,0,0,1,9,9,0,0,4,0,16,2,0,1,4,24,29,10,1,2,2,1,3,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,10,10,0,0,4,1,1,1,2,6,0,1,11,4,22,3,13,17,7,31,0,4,1,1,16,6,0,2,22,89,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409124790837767,0.0,0.0,0.11590229311944622,0.12585350063159473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259158204988705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15242753256302682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821111224752116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14459423401946267,0.0,0.12642542041224694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10103133973329546,0.0,0.0,0.1497091935497529,0.0,0.0,0.4840796960393006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3685959253116677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360399764818605,0.14262464999229355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12031148371944606,0.1602024498025678,0.11080411035255418,0.0,0.1162524960231114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16038766155769182,0.0,0.0,0.16322622133381018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14435795726965334,0.15334689891829567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09656168688864482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12872284867607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12011253029876323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277132901350859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21337535774557886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10013851061999514,0.09658188705534854,0.0,0.11966301779238385,0.08789204737556483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11964269255293868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10707447717275198,0.0,0.0,0.2911961050088265
divorce,Flat_Earth_Eric,2018/03/21,"Have been separated from my wife for a little while but things came to a head tonight, urgently need some advice My wife and I have been married for just over 4 years, a few months ago things became strange and distant to the point where I knew something had happened. Long story short, she met someone else. 

She hasn't been staying at home and I tried to move on, it took me a while, although our marriage was clearly failing.. the reality of it all was tough. 

Things came to a head today when she came back home and I told her that things can't continue like this, it's mentally hard to take to have your separated partner come back into the house randomly. 

Needless to say she is pissed, I tried to explain how I feel but she just wrote it off as me trying to play the victim. 

I don't know what to do with myself, where to start or what to do.

things we're ok between us because I didn't 'rock the boat'... But I feel that saying what was necessary has taken things from being kind of amicable to resentment and I'm worried it's all going to get very messy. 

We live in texas, have no children.",3.8782272727272726,5.058992504545458,4.468863636363637,87.51329545454546,71.68181818181819,7.3181818181818175,26.93181818181818,7.6454224807358475,1.3377727272727271,861,29,180,10,16,274,135,220,0.134,0.8240000000000001,0.042,-0.9604,0,0,1,0,0,0,22.0,3,1,0,1,8,9,3,0,10,1,20,3,3,1,3,31,41,15,0,1,6,2,3,1,1,0,0,2,2,2,17,12,0,0,5,2,0,7,5,5,0,0,17,5,24,4,29,23,4,32,0,1,0,0,21,11,1,3,14,125,41,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11549934436008184,0.10477324247184636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817701971519708,0.0,0.07205092323147591,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40555273782802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10181501895015008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09873723332222717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11952646448856648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175230767791087,0.0,0.0671732670051643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451995338074058,0.0,0.10588001593599072,0.0,0.2426055112166066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.237119590244746,0.0,0.0,0.13638182007428387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1230824991162192,0.0649571949220415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05774438586319254,0.11846301356393825,0.1043688549281295,0.1045993612298191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191133360061347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09434257738452206,0.12562318700127448,0.0,0.08764051849095986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11173301909226133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.187987724689836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1001467240292524,0.09099272532341564,0.0,0.0,0.08365943373703345,0.1259807526171941,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08886836002023132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4711433137688433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11203558137596124,0.11294093356627735,0.13131962872732006,0.24074110311713426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1421747192738035,0.0,0.0,0.09752372478931397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003334003574286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07611407274285065
divorce,GiraffesRampage,2018/03/21,"I still love him, but it needs to end. How to move on. 25yrs old, no kids, together 10yrs, married less than 1yr

Apparently he fell out of love with me a couple years ago, but tried to force himself to try. I had no idea. I thought his lack of affection was out of stress. We had just gotten our first place together, he got a promotion with longer work hours, new bills, etc. I was patient and supportive. He met a girl and a friendship got suspiciously heavy. Emotionally abused me for months saying I was paranoid, overreacting, jealous, etc. He called her on our wedding night... Fast forward to Feb. 2018, I had proof I needed and confronted him about an affair. It was true, he confessed he hadn't loved me in awhile. Said he wanted a divorce. Not counceling, no trying to make something work. He wanted out. ""I still care about you and want you to be happy"". We move out and go our seperate ways to begin divorce at the end of April. I am still deeply in love with him, but he's made it clear that there is no hope. He's so distant that I hardly believe it when he says he still wants me in his life, just not romantically. 

My question, how do I move on? When he did love me, in our best years, he was amazing. Nearly perfect. Not controlling, supportive, loving. Not to mention he's attractive! I miss that. I miss him. I'm scared that even if I do find someone else, I'll be too scared that they'll wake up one day and not love me anymore, just like he did. I'm so depressed I can't go a day without breaking down. I want him back but it's impossible. I need to move on.",1.497340813195244,3.754254313291142,2.7451783659378606,92.43649213655544,81.81645569620254,5.729037207518221,22.550441120061368,6.980632752743323,0.6058451476793252,1217,41,263,15,33,391,170,316,0.163,0.629,0.209,0.9753,1,0,1,0,3,0,58.0,6,2,1,7,19,26,2,3,8,0,19,9,1,6,4,54,53,17,0,11,14,0,1,1,0,1,1,3,0,2,10,15,0,1,5,0,1,8,12,8,0,2,18,4,42,18,38,32,5,50,1,3,0,7,55,18,0,3,25,160,52,3,0.0,0.0968054322494644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07242533152865302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08102803898636435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06282504234942242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09205200375421103,0.08574291097875257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08342853346635823,0.0,0.08330228828115338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916375599033273,0.0,0.09040350413981273,0.0,0.10538415453088046,0.0,0.0703712102375769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06825289252173174,0.09190557817471877,0.14473031702403233,0.0,0.1822422726700129,0.05396447201920895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07467563067276611,0.06949705946124729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286810292272936,0.0,0.13069170117636164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08697502530011714,0.07319039742884513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08115013233748555,0.0804616101065071,0.0,0.0,0.09223344467208308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057709684752770926,0.03991626288729178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5161849638656835,0.07730994301038556,0.05453780238013484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06521505188863133,0.3473520815659813,0.0,0.18174660220398609,0.0,0.07890986762565895,0.0,0.07667331485191865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08573420766304804,0.0,0.055364489033551775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0853628956613728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09152675582212587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07771885482814872,0.12994799972556953,0.16359915863646915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06922721410741989,0.06289944018879523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609944735059284,0.0,0.09359122339278583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18543260489855065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06486354978946357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641418929568064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2409545667487975,0.06485253245758398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07875937637730804,0.0,0.11896242036153705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10522890811321904
divorce,sylvesterthecat11,2018/03/21,"How did you break the news to your stbx that you filed for divorce? He’s 35. I’m 40. Married seven years. Two children (4/6 yo). 

I’m in a conundrum and I would like to hear your advice on how to break the bad news. He has no idea, but he is also on another planet. 

I am filing two emergency petitions. One for custody of our children - with supervised visitation for him - and one petition for immediate sole possession of my house (FYI, premarital asset. It is my house). My lawyer suggested doing these petitions to protect me/the kids/my property based on his volatility/tendency toward violence and destruction of property, his drug addiction, and borderline personality disorder. I wasn’t too keen on it because I do still love him in some ways, he’s the father of our kids, and we’ve been married for seven years. I would want the same consideration and respect. But, at the end of the day, he’s not safe alone around the kids at this point because of his drug use and I just can’t have him here anymore. Especially if he knows we are getting a divorce. He has no boundaries with the kids. He’s said things like “Mommy hates me.” Or “Mommy was mean to me.” And has a habit of talking about drugs. All. The. Time. I don’t believe children should hear about “dope,” and “subs,” and “xani-bars.” It’s just fucked. 

Originally, I was going to have a sit down with his therapist and my therapist as they are in the same practice. After the “sorry, we are getting a divorce” session, I was going to have a constable outside to serve him the papers, the constable follow us to our house so he can pack some things like clothes and toiletries with an authority-type figure there to keep the peace, and go.  

I got a call from my lawyer today. “Oh, sorry. I will have to serve him papers saying you filed emergency petitions to take away his kids and kick him out of the house. Then we will wait to see if the judge grants the petitions.” So basically, he will be getting a heads up that this is all happening and I was banking on the element of surprise so that he would not have access to my house anymore. I know that’s not stand up, but I am scared of this man based on his past actions. 

So my question is, how did you break the bad news? Did you just let a constable serve your stbx? Did you have a sit down with him/her first? Did you have another family member present for safety? I am really at a loss here. Lawyer wants to do this Friday and she said he can find out by reading the papers. Shitty! But necessary? Aaaand, he then gets to stay in the house (tearing my shit up??? Destroying everything???) until hopefully the judge actually grants the petitions. And I have to pack up my kids and myself and stay at my sister’s until the judge yays or nays. What to do?!?!?!!!",2.5577386898815457,4.82053327643785,3.9304220779220778,85.34530344655347,78.01669758812615,7.559882974168688,24.6510989010989,8.502166056373571,1.7596878550021406,2152,77,429,46,52,707,238,539,0.125,0.7879999999999999,0.08800000000000001,-0.9787,0,1,4,0,3,0,91.0,7,10,1,2,19,19,5,1,36,1,49,8,2,5,2,76,79,40,0,9,14,2,0,3,0,7,4,5,0,10,15,30,0,4,8,1,1,6,8,9,0,7,14,6,60,10,72,56,6,57,0,1,1,2,70,26,2,8,19,295,75,9,0.0,0.0,0.0768208386547327,0.08581806631169976,0.0,0.0769257490933839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08153174384118983,0.0,0.06295356360482636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1650927354887319,0.0,0.0,0.1561411708764596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007883438493445,0.0,0.0,0.07396145058504612,0.0,0.13145834634292292,0.0959758044196616,0.0,0.0,0.08869218499861213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038346393978034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050768861884484505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09022167128710193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2738758796954328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06972389263072418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07074981775666958,0.0,0.07421163418140958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07195003455005207,0.06696047672199118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07277676807049496,0.1645149607623296,0.0,0.13421774587686908,0.0,0.06296078339297932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961317186314575,0.0,0.0,0.07772119397665464,0.08079098105673259,0.0,0.17744972755705726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0781882224873228,0.0,0.5450043234475355,0.0,0.08886700347944816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997129567766207,0.0,0.0,0.08652656698733582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08049807815870727,0.0,0.1153780611415848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104923683126356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575080307132597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10668746585525084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514858941533742,0.0,0.06873658664678507,0.0,0.0,0.07441727258071057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08818610816309834,0.0,0.07874281378291179,0.0,0.050431015485308005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14976436729620052,0.06260250489839321,0.07881396521332779,0.0,0.0627308518591008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08080649939717477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17624457223744686,0.0,0.16781331219011386,0.06286710007315903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059188778976476425,0.06327336832185974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18280348258905574,0.10459814741174576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04590314590655492,0.0,0.07461878740704984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15379895439382013,0.0,0.0946922845568883,0.06799010982926376,0.0,0.0,0.09286397314025724,0.06248547094873432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16776450755072647,0.0,0.0,0.10138814371167484
divorce,abloodyminge,2018/03/21,"You asked for humor Again I have a fucked up sense of humor.

I don't have kids, but made me laugh:
https://youtu.be/uRBknYAaEOo",2.5376086956521746,5.385088739130438,1.0177173913043518,98.00744565217391,96.3913043478261,4.039130434782609,10.097826086956523,5.985473137389443,-1.3518608695652174,103,1,20,1,4,28,20,23,0.105,0.584,0.311,0.6486,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,3,1,0,1,0,2,6,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,3,5,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,1,1,0,1,13,4,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5771229926339303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5707143827087309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5841353822040303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TrumpHasTinyHandSoap,2018/03/21,"Preparing a divorce, but wanting to wait A number of weeks ago I discovered my wife had an affair.  I looked further into her communications with the dude and it appears to have been more casual (video-chat sexting) and is currently cooled off.  It’s been a dead bedroom between us for years (her ~~action~~ inaction) and I had already resigned myself to a sexless life, because it was still a functional housemate situation.

She does not know that I know anything about it.  I came across it by accident on her computer.

I have decided I can’t trust her and I will not have children with her (something she wants yet can’t explain where they will come from), but if the affair is over I can accept this status quo over completely dismantling the life and finances we crafted together for over two decades, at least not until I can come up with a whole new life plan.

I still want to get an attorney and go over what my options are/would be based on our assets and finances now and, if possible, have everything be ready to serve her with but *not* move forward from that point unless she restarts the affair or threatens *me* with divorce even once.  Obviously, the more time passes the more it could possibly get complicated, but I’m willing to take that risk for now, unless the legal advice is that I would be intensely stupid to do so.
",6.883798140770253,7.332552227091638,6.826039840637453,75.92716069057106,64.57768924302789,10.039946879150069,35.45843293492696,9.888512548439397,3.4950842496679964,1063,47,190,21,15,338,152,251,0.092,0.828,0.079,-0.8047,1,0,1,0,2,0,33.0,3,0,1,1,9,7,1,1,15,1,25,3,0,1,1,46,42,19,1,7,13,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,12,18,0,1,5,1,2,9,6,3,0,1,6,2,29,4,35,28,5,35,0,1,1,0,21,15,0,5,13,149,41,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469995915097944,0.1333481495488131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16600452913598368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12379202962621805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09170144074507028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17205317521266034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591662537680475,0.15772421238762654,0.0,0.0,0.12010704300206973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316433245247338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09935836444591624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13519782949396467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15718814775501647,0.0,0.08549349665010084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16534606619745185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31876193772545697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1263242899073373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15988451948068508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452873546717628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16020427910858548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422060727333018,0.3391770672876269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16909093008937515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580925871928945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402690422667476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11310551322605004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08771762091112886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1469493877991337,0.0,0.1809501670512686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661845925157537,0.0,0.12066680513263045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16795102134128334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21372396430278104,0.0,0.0,0.09687273692622622
divorce,SWEDinTexas,2018/03/22,"Child Support withholding in Texas So basically, I'm am filing for divorce soon, I'm am doing it pro se, I have a question about the ""Withholding for Support"" part. 

Am I not able to set up a direct deposit or recurring payment from my bank account? Or do they have to have my employer withhold the money? Or am I allowed to set up a recurring payment like that, but I still have to give them that information. I'd rather my employer not know that I am going through or just got a divorce if I can help it.",4.141596638655462,4.996353215686277,5.82619047619048,79.24500000000003,70.76470588235293,8.965826330532213,34.179271708683466,9.23628265651192,3.1215389355742302,396,20,78,8,7,136,61,102,0.0,0.901,0.099,0.8105,3,0,0,0,2,0,11.0,0,0,2,0,6,3,0,0,6,0,12,0,0,1,0,17,20,7,0,2,10,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,3,3,0,4,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,11,3,12,19,1,10,0,0,0,0,9,3,0,6,5,60,16,2,0.2876080055202559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2758998060204549,0.16345425746624956,0.0,0.2300263955058655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927775835836644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580618382347914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14051074385569332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3114514427829009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3221867883668973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296841247268826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6527483127106445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DeviantB,2018/03/22,"Looking for advice on long distance visitation options Kids are 12&8. Ex-wife is moving 150mi away.  Meeting halfway every other weekend is a huge strain. More visitation in Summer would be nice, but  children will not want to spend summers away from their friends.

Maybe reduce visitation in the school year to one weekend a month,  ask for 2 of 3 fall,  winter or spring breaks, or add some additional weeks in summer and/or allow 2 consecutive weeks?

Any creative ideas or guidance how I can negotiate this?",7.790262172284645,9.423633438202252,7.298370786516856,69.15669475655432,62.93258426966293,8.629962546816481,36.181647940074896,8.841846274778883,3.437268164794008,412,19,61,6,6,129,74,89,0.027000000000000003,0.818,0.156,0.9157,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,0,0,1,0,1,3,0,1,3,0,7,0,0,2,0,14,10,5,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,1,2,1,5,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,12,7,2,25,0,0,1,0,9,7,0,5,12,35,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2232090849510852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474926470128787,0.0,0.15533322727345328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135415829462264,0.0,0.4292156501902149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924534469634421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647649181466926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25785803534929164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20214424450573035,0.1918150170875383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22947828802231096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18232242344402505,0.24277398953690185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15478309870204954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311729288065348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13472785584704638,0.0,0.3664490068440874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226279955670356,0.0,0.0,0.14709479627750835
divorce,divorcenocourt,2018/03/22,"New Beginning either way. Hey all, 

I'm at the end of my rope. Ready to let go, start healing, and become a better person without the constant beat downs. This is going to be kind of a ramble but i'm not very good right now at organizing my thoughts or really even getting to the root of the real issues. 

I'm 34, married for 6 years, two kids ages 4 and 1. I own a house in my name only and i'm currently unemployed as of a few months ago. My wife has been a stay at home mom for the last 4 years or so, (since we had our first child).

I'm wanting to go to couples counseling to work on our problems but my wife refuses. 

The reason for the divorce is we cannot amicably work on any conflict or issues in a meaningful way. We are always fighting and bickering, even our four year old is tired of it already, she has told us to stop fighting,arguing etc and it still seems to do no good. I do not want to fight. at all. It spirals quickly into put-downs and verbal abuse. Even trying to apologize and say i'm sorry the response i'm getting is a sarcastic, ""yeah, ok, Sure."" It seems i'm always the one who's accountable for everything and constantly being punished for not being good enough. I've been keeping a log the last few months of everything she's been angry or upset over and it's a constant stream of me fucking up and getting punished. For example I may get upset over a small thing and then its literally HOURS of me having to pay for it. 

My fuck-ups can range from smoking pot during the day (legal in my state) to forgetting to do any random task, or even not completing the task 'good enough'. (Today I got berated because as I was helping my wife get the kids into the car so she could leave (wouldn't tell me where she's going or what she's doing) my son decided to take off his baseball cap and I didn't put it back on him or throw it into the car.) When she found out he didn't have his cap anymore i'm on the other end of screaming on the phone about how I don't care about my son or my family. (I didn't know where you were going you wouldn't say!) I'm constantly at fault for whatever goes wrong in the house and when it's my wife's fault she's also the one getting angry and letting everyone in the house know why we're at fault for her being angry. 

I just obtained a vasectomy a few weeks ago and had to abstain from ejaculation for a week. After the week of abstaining was over; It took me two days of courting and chasing my wife around to finally get her to agree for relations. I was doing everything I could to let her know that I love her, think she's attractive, kiss on her and lover her, and let her know that I care for her and need her. She finally relented and said ok as long as it's quick. Last night she tells when we were arguing she told me that when we had sex it felt like I raped her. (she was a victim of abuse many years ago)(I'm crying just thinking about this)

Emotionally i'm confused, really hurt, and really angry. 




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divorce,Jayko999,2018/03/22,"Finally have gotten to that point Well where to begin

I have been married for 8 1/2 years. The last few years have gotten tough but I have finally been pushed to my breaking point

My wife has always been a drinker but he last 2 years have been out of control. It has gotten to the point where her and my  family wants her to get help but she absolutely refuses.  Around 1 1/2 years ago she started playing a game on her phone where you can chat with people. Through that she was invite to a chat app with groups, private messages ect.  These groups are mostly inappropriate and she was sexting/having emotional relationships with these people, some of them married. She never met up with any of them but one night before she blacked out drunk she told me she cheated on me at a club while out with some friends the summer before last.  That was the final straw for me and I have been trying to end this since. She refuses to leave the house which will clearly go to me in the prenup. I am pretty sure I will be getting full custody of the kids, yet I can’t leave the house because it will look like I am abandoning the children and the household. She just sits in the bathroom all night now drinking, talking and video calling with other people. 

I have offered to get her an apt and she tells
me to leave but she seems like she is almost in denial about the whole thing yet she doesn’t try to do anything to fix it. I’m hoping when she gets served next week she will understand what is going on. ",3.9294676131322106,5.563944789115649,4.0448772552499275,88.8300399290151,72.19727891156462,6.609642117716652,25.027506654835854,7.079830092131019,0.9272521739130428,1184,36,238,11,23,365,159,294,0.052000000000000005,0.83,0.118,0.9688,0,0,2,0,0,0,20.0,0,1,2,1,12,10,1,0,17,0,31,2,0,1,4,38,50,13,0,2,6,1,0,2,1,4,0,0,0,2,13,16,2,4,2,8,0,3,3,3,1,1,13,2,39,7,39,32,7,49,0,1,2,0,45,19,0,6,27,169,52,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09144518473965918,0.0,0.10329991657925784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08583744879831695,0.0,0.0,0.07015239048505532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08489195430734517,0.09183434054184876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288542599352852,0.0,0.17556325639642034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10533797352894016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11570279924968126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10105760289485168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11604120267599212,0.09136920949030154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0972501404368078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3390204687597461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797012202895958,0.0,0.21558753172019948,0.0,0.11725649919642984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06914602569845894,0.0,0.0,0.10246123402712122,0.0,0.23806575872986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25226769625374423,0.0,0.32769488208537434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1007976064949353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662848391048815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07956341169724146,0.0,0.10971191317730146,0.1936174897166164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06990393859207973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21455462686205276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29255885371183105,0.0,0.0,0.10495088594662147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107553170883158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09391306050294693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533508246966501,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07301723410301061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09722715257588116,0.0,0.0,0.08291616298556287,0.09016645505326797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06853497189104069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985738752660348,0.0,0.14007784258397354,0.0,0.0,0.10739327923442496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06084648673369525,0.0,0.08274879197523939,0.0,0.09275329906370136,0.0,0.0,0.1151745429219179,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2657268317386714
divorce,hbseth,2018/03/22,"HUGE child support issue! HELP?? I'm trying to figure out if I actually have any options here. I tried to simplify my timeline as much as possible. Trying to get the court (or anybody at this point) to recognize the HUGE elephant in the room. Arrears are out of control and I cannot get them to even hear me out here in CA. Thoughts??

04/2012 - PARTIES SEPARATE

04/2012 - PETITIONER TRANSFERS APPROXIMATELY $100,000.00 FROM HER BUSINESS ACCOUNT TO HER PERSONAL CHECKING ACCOUNT

05/2012 - BUSINESS CLOSED DUE TO NO OPERATING FUNDS AND NO ACCESS TO PETITIONERS ACCOUNTS (BUSINESS AND BANK ACCOUNTS UNDER PETITIONER'S NAME ONLY)

01/2013 - PETITIONER RECEIVES DEFAULT RESTRAINING ORDER INCLUDING $20,000.00 A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT/ALIMONY WITH NO BASIS. (RESPONDENT UNEMPLOYED)

06/2013 - PETITIONER AND RESPONDENT GET BACK TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS

06/2015 - RESPONDENT RECEIVES WELFARE AFTER SECOND SEPARATION BY SUBMITTING FORM FL-150 (INCOME AND EXPENSE DECLARATION) TO THE STATE.

07/2015 - CSS BEGINS COLLECTION EFFORTS FOR $20,000 A MONTH AGAINST RESPONDENT, IGNORING FL-150 SUBMITTED A MONTH BEFORE STATING UNEMPLOYMENT STATUS.

08/2015 - RESPONDENT CONTACTS CSS AND REFERS THEM TO FL-150 SUBMITTED TO THE STATE ON 06/2015 FOR CURRENT INCOME INFORMATION

09/2015 - CSS CONTINUES COLLECTION AT $20,000 AND $1,719.20 INTEREST MONTHLY
(DEBT INCREASES FROM $0 TO $133,130.98)

03/2015 - RESPONDENT FILES FOR MODIFICATION 
(DEBT INCREASES TO $202,122.46 WHILE TRYING TO EDUCATE HIMSELF ON THE RULES & REGULATIONS OF THE COURT, BEFORE FILING)

05/2016 - RESPONDENT MODIFICATION TO $525 A MONTH FOR CHILD SUPPORT/ALIMONY ACCEPTED BY COURT (PAYMENTS CURRENT AS OF 03/2018)

06/2017 - STIPULATION AND WAIVER FOR $243,887.00 TO BE RECALCULATED TO $16,285.00 (ACTUAL ASSIGNED ARREARS) DENIED BY COURT WITHOUT PREJUDICE OR EXPLANATION

02/2018 - CSS GARNISHMENT OF $649.75 A MONTH WITHOUT WARNING
INCREASE IN MONTHLY AMOUNT DUE TO ARREARS.

02/2018 - RESPONDENT MODIFICATION TO CSS GRANTED TO $550.00 A MONTH GARNISHMENT, DIRECT PAYMENTS NO LONGER ACCEPTED WITHOUT EXPLANATION

03/2018 - ARREARS BALANCE INCREASES TO $286,787.00 DUE TO INTEREST OF $1987.00 A MONTH, REGARDLESS OF ON TIME PAYMENT OF $550.00 A MONTH.",6.957074468085108,11.02596561046512,6.3022587827807985,62.91478476001978,77.48837209302326,9.788124690747155,45.69124195942603,9.529719534508507,6.581610539336964,1806,132,217,59,47,555,183,344,0.07,0.821,0.109,0.9279,10,0,0,0,0,0,111.0,0,0,2,2,4,7,1,0,15,0,4,0,0,1,0,31,12,15,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,1,13,0,3,6,0,10,6,8,2,0,1,1,1,10,5,62,10,7,50,0,0,0,0,24,18,0,4,22,115,11,4,0.0,0.0,0.18412166051023568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221579500461647,0.0,0.06415345873108945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0725405327745086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16055033971112934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058087216331884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230973199183953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14786401849801142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10632641828390617,0.0,0.06323315107857849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846495120053328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.753001419817114,0.0,0.06934969949469562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07174872920852933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237279553854537,0.0,0.0,0.08918043618207189,0.1063525566182908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32116285441460146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748942823341656,0.05500957549386134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25619877045431244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728170285165194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060750942397756275
divorce,Dreamsteve,2018/03/22,"I honestly feel like she took everything from me (Long Story) To start off: 

My mairage started downhill about 6 years ago when I decided to leave the church over philisophical reasons.  Since then, I have been the victim of several methods of abuse in which I decided to leave to reduce the amount of fighting.  I was joking and covering up the abuse towards the end when a friend called me out on my BS.  

Since then, she has done no less than: 

1. Lied to the police to try to get me sent to the mental wards here.  Turns out you just need your father to corroborate a story to have the cops come and get your husband.  

2.  Destroyed my account and gave no help with the bills as we seperated.  I continually asked for cooporation in this. 

3.  I haven't seen my daughter for almost a year and its tearing me apart.  To the point of suicide multiple times.  I did all this for my daughter to not have to live through what I lived through.  I feel i am in the right here but have had so much bad shit happen that I'm close to just ending it all as I currently have no hope in seeing my daughter now.

4.  She put a restraining order on me when I begged to see my daughter.

5. She has assassinated my character online and my ability to provide money to pay for the child support is destroyed.

6.  I can't even be in the same room with her without having an anxiety attack.  Some symptoms from the abuse is an extreme need to say ""I apologize"" waaay too much.  I'm beaten down and very beta because of this.  I used to give speeches in front of executives - now I can't even find a job.

7.  She has been telling my daughter fabrications to convince her that I'm a piece of shit.  I am not but every day without my daughter, she takes more and more of my morality.  I may kill this woman in a fit of rage if something doesn't change.

8.  When she forced me into the psych ward (I have a phobia of such things due to a bad moment in my childhood), I now have a variety of symptoms - incontenance at least once a week, nightmares, constantly shaking, etc. 

I honestly had no idea how much a divorce takes out of you and was under the impression she would understand.  She has not and has made it her mission to destroy everything I am.  Her religion only allows her to remarry if I die.  It is honestly the only reason she is doing this.  I guess I just need some direction.  I have no job now (she made sure of that), no home (can't pay rent), no vehicle, no daughter, no happiness.  

Guess I just wanted to vent.  So many injustices have occured to me that I wanted to get this all out before I made my last decision.  The only one they cannot take from me.  Please Please tell me something that can get me to the next day.....",3.029870492635858,4.692096973929238,4.375731758930083,85.42839195022857,74.60521415270019,7.637870323345183,26.915904858642286,8.367750914986694,1.8006465549348232,2093,79,428,37,44,692,260,537,0.189,0.723,0.08800000000000001,-0.9962,4,0,3,0,6,1,68.0,1,4,1,1,22,26,11,1,33,0,41,4,2,8,4,67,80,24,3,9,13,9,2,1,1,2,2,2,3,2,18,19,0,1,10,1,6,6,20,14,0,1,15,7,76,12,79,62,16,65,2,0,3,0,46,28,2,9,31,311,94,6,0.0,0.2833174310283434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706549842409544,0.0,0.07981452493948528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06097523811446996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451479809267716,0.09067762643394817,0.0,0.0,0.13310316090946675,0.04858832966665208,0.0,0.06782434279778976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08138922657163715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431888586667008,0.06866007379077113,0.0,0.08613438733560012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10280816974486197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08272274096253557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815674013090132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14119256415796652,0.0,0.08889379331623302,0.10529075503313877,0.0,0.0671561460998061,0.0,0.1432700872809725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08060398118427951,0.056942324379610026,0.0,0.0,0.0728502776170274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061581027799093864,0.0,0.16657338163406635,0.07646171739636957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756113451683994,0.0,0.07048417596664433,0.08484902881673666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05342557259803347,0.0,0.07995209710373323,0.07916651812892353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08997891265733178,0.0,0.0,0.1581927625917367,0.0,0.08818340929299745,0.0,0.0,0.06497141850262284,0.0,0.16879530468079498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038940559411089884,0.0,0.14076456213856245,0.07053772551987839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22626059238293686,0.0,0.0808098590749379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803253834647945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17578029918522398,0.17730403221543206,0.0,0.0,0.08476874445227439,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08488479858212862,0.05401117285361006,0.1818611065127912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749875566283383,0.07534838587513706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08012702626945363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639030705998917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680688973849435,0.0,0.06338579112420957,0.0,0.0,0.12703148793928706,0.0,0.0,0.09004563349489034,0.16363511014714527,0.1318680458519504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1227238829703106,0.0,0.0,0.11283331188085738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0871859509203359,0.09044996757579833,0.07512241297996369,0.1656911010741658,0.17978805738791948,0.0,0.13933395134994864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052953442794190585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046477488769809366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08855683072660442,0.0541154670333625,0.08669776064098224,0.0,0.08297725542897721,0.0,0.06884080608506761,0.0,0.0657661925463432,0.09402589263778224,0.0,0.06393572947130713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15366840245845648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056621195647711564,0.0,0.0,0.10265671813308724
divorce,kittythrowaway1149,2018/03/22,"How to escape a psycho husband? Hi everyone, I’ve been lurking and was going to post a few times... then it ends up being a novel of my psycho husband’s behavior. Apologies in advance for the length of this. :)

So,  I have been married 16 years. I’m 39F, STBXH is 47M and two kids (14M, 12M).

I stayed for the kids, even though I tried to leave a few times (so dumb, I felt guilty and took my mom’s advice to stay, worst decision ever!). 

STBXH abused substances (coke, pills, alcohol, now it’s weed and pills). He doesn’t support us financially, is emotionally and verbally abusive and, generally, a total narcissist. (There is so much appalling behavior, I don’t know where to begin). 

He won’t shower, he lies on the couch for days on end (only gets up to use the bathroom or get junk food), things like that. 

I stayed with him and put him through rehab + moved him across the country when rehab didn’t work. 

I was financially set when we got married, (I was barely 23), yet he went through all my cash, assets, even spent my kids’ sizable college fund. Then, he destroyed my credit twice (using my perfect credit to get loans, cards etc, then defaulting and so on). 

I made the money back twice, which wasn’t easy —- but this last financial devastation has just really done a number on me. 

I need to get out!

Problems: he has a crazy temper, implies suicide if I left him. He has guns, gets insane road rage, has zero no self-awareness, plus the terrible attitude to boot. Unstable due to pain pill and weed usage. 

Financially, he’s a mess and has brought me down with  him (which I unwittingly allowed, I am not shirking responsibility). 

I bust my butt working part time to barely make the bills. I have always “come to the rescue,” but I just can’t do it again with him. 

This is no way to live.  That brings me to: how the hell do I get out safely? 

He’s an awful father. The kids have an unhealthy relationship with him, other than seeing each other here and there in the kitchen.

I have a spine injury and chronic pain, it limits me on what I can do for work these days - plus, destroyed credit, two kids, etc. 

I had a paralegal draw up divorce papers, but  afraid I need a better attorney - which I can’t afford. :(

I only have my mother locally (she kind of wants to help, but she’s a bit unreliable), and practically no friends. 

I do have a 2 friends that would *possibly* help. He gets insanely jealous, so I mostly just text and email them, I can’t go out anywhere aside from work or errands, such as the kids’ school or grocery store. He has to know where I am 24/7.

Thank you 🙏  any thoughts on how to escape are much appreciated!",3.5509338521400804,5.0614665739299625,4.6880369649805465,84.33894260700394,72.94941634241245,7.474630350194553,26.079571984435802,8.07648339933343,1.5231308949416342,2025,68,408,30,40,665,275,514,0.19,0.703,0.107,-0.9946,3,0,1,1,2,1,110.0,2,1,1,8,27,26,7,1,28,1,41,14,2,8,4,64,73,39,1,6,12,5,1,1,2,2,9,0,3,6,18,26,4,2,5,1,10,10,12,14,0,5,17,2,52,12,51,53,13,58,1,0,1,1,44,21,3,5,22,263,70,10,0.0,0.2159883637194248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08906770387707916,0.0,0.0974083254070558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07584152931600324,0.0,0.0,0.061983023191438925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008634630486034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08061203339921083,0.09950881700008496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07851499078487709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756443089073555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09327493270163606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252800377715897,0.16145821380177405,0.0,0.20330579265980767,0.12040334658467593,0.08244759679873608,0.0,0.08709477687700816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08751532569328196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11021520329036424,0.0,0.14083975047574185,0.0,0.33334348338676445,0.0,0.10360177691432404,0.0,0.0728985089804879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221877026521695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09491547891005274,0.1001839141868182,0.07429689546444243,0.0,0.09651141529449186,0.0990313825390716,0.0,0.0,0.04452977537770488,0.0,0.08048438990049593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08624540845510012,0.06084126904460905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.106750157373004,0.0,0.09687473883004584,0.13400693016777093,0.1351685551434928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13864266196869546,0.19397347349071734,0.0,0.0,0.09870321946646453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10275444401169537,0.08729354280019527,0.0,0.0,0.08721528156564395,0.0,0.09162781776694474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583910433944949,0.0,0.0,0.09785766871511956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224553728110896,0.07263228506960166,0.0,0.0950861037386758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914514302350761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969992391707913,0.10343243137703706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08391582717139888,0.0,0.0,0.060553955792168615,0.0,0.08955137460750984,0.07236046396630387,0.15944548560722546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012675688293806,0.06188276768229872,0.0,0.1780745704526566,0.0,0.10963850803868767,0.15744332788990115,0.0,0.0,0.05376080803883156,0.07234817325373777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08449409713786796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2654241391307142,0.0,0.0,0.0647481485099474,0.0,0.0,0.058695620563900826
divorce,s3r4ph1ne,2018/03/22,"Heart Break syndrom Just curious how many of you had this happen, after my wife left about 3 days in not having any idea at all why she left after tearing myself apart to try to do anything I could to save the marriage. I was in the kitchen and I started puking like crazy I got really dizzy fell down didn't really hurt I had this sense of its ok to go I can let go. I started to like black out and see a tunnel I was standing right at like the entry way, I came through to my 6 year old shaking me saying its ok daddy I'm going to be a doctor I can save you will be fine. I looked up completely drenched in tears having no idea what just really happened it was the weirdest thing it was like I was at complete peace and just about to go. has anybody else experienced this ?",2.4778062678062653,3.8924970370370415,3.8379012345679016,89.74209401709405,75.5432098765432,6.4660968660968665,23.57264957264957,7.010146845296331,0.7220877492877493,608,18,131,6,13,200,102,162,0.08900000000000001,0.728,0.183,0.9436,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,6,11,0,1,6,2,19,3,1,1,1,16,32,4,0,1,4,1,0,4,0,1,1,1,1,0,9,5,1,0,2,0,0,7,3,2,0,0,10,5,19,9,24,17,1,30,0,1,3,0,6,13,0,0,11,87,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09704556282842453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743559169400287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16321863770178824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2992508687698035,0.0,0.0,0.11393982071506345,0.0,0.0,0.09203412303040642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14606652484253466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11921327519281814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3244144035899212,0.0,0.11413571763859255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25239042145034035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16910832387695646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277065209267218,0.3221973638164464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101028559545519,0.1459274396543814,0.0,0.278877466225272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11983782619435294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14468236387496494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14974685048430594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742650186417683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12187088423063945,0.0,0.11348622805332445,0.0,0.0,0.11371889625847782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20201730919521665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0948081009728838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09688859481024456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11327406814818125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877075035847904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09189854318003247
divorce,afreshnewhandle,2018/03/23,"my stbx is violating my privacy My husband and I are divorcing. He moved out last month. The house is in his name, I live in the home. I am in Pennsylvania. Do I have any right to keep him from entering my house without permission? he previously set up hidden video cameras in my room, i should have had him arrested then. now hes going in my home when im at work. How can i ever be free?",0.5144444444444431,2.6889463703703704,3.361975308641977,86.98888888888894,85.2962962962963,7.550617283950618,22.58024691358025,8.515128840125781,1.5974543209876535,300,11,67,8,9,106,58,81,0.087,0.872,0.041,-0.5661,0,0,0,0,0,0,10.0,0,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,2,0,12,0,0,1,1,8,14,4,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,3,1,1,0,0,1,0,16,2,11,11,0,20,0,0,0,0,9,10,0,0,6,46,16,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589219433592748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21139227539915809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13281536519964804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4688342011402489,0.0,0.0,0.5393098191387989,0.0,0.0,0.2524328142358419,0.0,0.0,0.2077205915255093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19049420962094848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2063586929854537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653468005714288,0.24838287912712695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199575922858923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22527552533623504,0.0,0.1701341667170478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chaos_ironheart,2018/03/23,"How did you do it? How did you let your spouse know you're done if you knew it would blindside them and that they don't believe in divorce? How did you tell your kids? Mine are 9, 6, & 3. 

I'm struggling to find the words.",-0.09306122448979436,1.6995658163265368,0.9952653061224516,105.38187755102041,84.71428571428571,3.92,17.963265306122448,3.1291,-1.1807257142857144,171,4,45,0,5,53,38,49,0.069,0.931,0.0,-0.5171,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,6,2,0,3,1,0,1,1,0,9,0,0,3,0,10,12,5,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,5,0,9,0,2,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,12,1,0,1,0,29,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3822377021925019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39746300190002426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3610171022334187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32243513585240513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19387902699334889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3607421306921599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688029470407708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083458498850829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2506052620248125,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pawpawthejackchi,2018/03/23,How to leave a marriage I work part time I have a hard time saving money but I'm  looking for a better job and more money. I just need advice should I wait unyil I save money (8months min) or should I allow myself to go into a shelter to be away from this all. ,-0.5244642857142843,1.6052511964285756,2.2800000000000007,92.965,90.60714285714286,3.9142857142857146,15.142857142857142,5.288315135182226,-0.7763285714285715,201,4,43,1,7,70,41,56,0.044,0.758,0.199,0.8807,2,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,0,0,2,2,3,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,2,1,14,9,4,0,3,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,7,3,7,6,3,6,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,1,3,31,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064368499619263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2946284463006354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2773451712415452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782206163745825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2809153483693469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3111900237244842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33204689018397565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.263336905057334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2325232629171668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33958777803620593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36571409705406893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2282975016716559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ikalis,2018/03/23,"Divorcing, but living together. An issue. I am divorcing my wife in about 1 month. Papers are in, she waived being served, just waiting for the mandatory 2 months (TX) to be over for it to be final.

The only reason I'm letting her stay with me, for now, is because she is disabled (not receiving disability or social security; zero income) and if she moves out/I put her out, she moves to Wyoming and I don't see my son (2 y/o).

However, I am interested in casual relationships and generally moving on but I cannot do that when my ex wife will still be living with me.

It seems that I cannot have my divorce, time with my son, and a single household/social life at the same time.

Can anyone help me to find a solution I'm aware of?",2.717409909909911,4.2469558310810855,5.165945945945946,79.99234234234235,75.14864864864866,8.446846846846848,25.171171171171174,9.075114841892004,2.033079279279279,565,19,114,13,12,200,94,148,0.0,0.882,0.118,0.9413,2,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,6,0,17,1,0,1,0,20,22,9,0,1,6,5,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,4,8,0,2,3,1,0,5,4,0,0,1,0,1,19,3,19,16,2,21,0,0,1,0,18,7,0,3,8,81,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12508345082128325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.109049163499278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959643162852389,0.16350143932359645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1199056242775948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18671379239809133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829262727118798,0.12635469476430122,0.0,0.0,0.3159247880481846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28557522054495105,0.5703925575495395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1360532571938721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17983300204628458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839278368540884,0.0,0.19205999626719614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14255148914241714,0.16285396063878693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18235495711950794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19067202852874648,0.1428611037137387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20862340017312336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,recnad,2018/03/23,"When to adjust W4? My divorce should, in theory, be done this year.  I updated my W4 to reflect being single and was shocked to see how much more tax i paid in my last paycheck.  I did this because I didn't want a big tax bill next April on top of everything else.  I also wanted the new rate on the financial disclosures. Anyone have a different thought on this? Should I switch back to a ""married"" withholding and wait until things are settled?",3.771926910299001,5.58381446511628,4.706079734219268,83.20453488372095,72.95348837209302,8.170099667774089,28.564784053156142,8.841846274778883,2.356031893687708,348,14,66,7,7,113,63,86,0.052000000000000005,0.926,0.023,-0.3098,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,5,0,10,0,0,1,0,12,16,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,2,3,0,4,0,1,1,0,0,6,1,9,0,11,6,3,16,0,0,1,0,1,7,0,0,9,48,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260331504157094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19763374478715653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2173385256948978,0.0,0.17229932822257993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2953065401675884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892465854830637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2361157665852631,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2540254003611529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23039548464563134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20777847734333035,0.0,0.0,0.2729827732889373,0.3005988850327319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2252335096227445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1877784785586872,0.0,0.0,0.22439058941134515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334257062995387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1820157607105947
divorce,RugbyRock,2018/03/23,"Separation agreement 101- sharing kids Hello all, 

When you setup your separation agreement what are the key things to include with shared custody? What do you wish you had included in retrospect?",6.267187499999999,10.083786343750004,5.598750000000003,69.17125000000001,76.1875,8.200000000000001,36.125,8.841846274778883,4.383225,161,9,21,4,4,49,27,32,0.0,0.648,0.35200000000000004,0.9282,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,4,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,4,3,3,1,2,0,0,0,0,8,1,0,0,1,16,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5002435202127271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8658847616658807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,uggly_pet,2018/03/24,"I know this will kill me when it's over. I don't want to think about it. I just want you to love me now. Who am I : a broken hearted girl 
How old am I : 7 days away from 28 ... too old to be referring to myself as a broken hearted girl 
Ailment : a broken heart, wounded pride maybe 
Cause : self inflicted wound 

Background: My husband and I met when I was 19 and he was 23 we had our son and was married by the time I was 21. We have had our fair share of arguments. Brief periods of separation. Over the past year I was depressed because I was not where I expected to be at age 27 and swimming in a ridiculous amount of debt. I suggested that I leave the state we were in and head home to start a career and set up home down here (GA) ... that was in October ... My husband stayed behind in (PA). Through my bouts of anger and frustration I suggested divorce or told him multiple times to get a girlfriend. Well guess what ladies and gentlemen ... He did. It was a girl he’s been friends with some time over social media. They are now in the midst of a budding relationship. We still talk everyday, we frequently have FaceTime sex, & he’s due to visit at the end of the month and without a doubt in my mind we’re probably going to end up sleeping together. He is insistent that we cannot make each other happy and would like to pursue the relationship with the new girl. However every time I suggest that we don’t talk anymore he implies that we are “working things out”. In one breath he says he has feelings for her and in the very next he tells me that he loves me and will always love me. 


I just need feedback, guidance, a slap upside the head? ",2.828149267091866,4.4169410574018135,3.9856730446458535,88.32236544701803,74.98187311178249,7.320622132706728,26.458655029652014,8.045849151850463,1.5182224683898404,1274,47,270,20,27,415,192,331,0.103,0.799,0.099,-0.0859,2,0,0,0,1,1,45.0,10,1,1,2,13,15,4,1,20,0,29,13,7,3,0,45,45,17,1,5,5,4,1,1,3,3,2,1,2,5,14,24,0,0,4,1,1,4,5,6,1,1,15,2,40,9,44,25,3,51,0,1,0,4,55,19,0,4,26,176,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09069288291340467,0.1180964425923319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10809412344447086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10240474212912967,0.0,0.0,0.06644256855758841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196827363587687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07029299950643733,0.0,0.09387755623257192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19307510030183328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09183330383884836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05511133622614275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08420955586370496,0.0,0.056945584490254976,0.0,0.061944583053976175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12007069311594297,0.0,0.0,0.11602760277783533,0.0,0.0,0.22372139854019715,0.0,0.0,0.3874801302628825,0.0,0.0,0.21866249486587025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12058723273241465,0.0,0.059901007278570687,0.0,0.0,0.11541036376838178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05324963434826508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29511774249793005,0.0,0.07275525875506524,0.0,0.10950050352891184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11005425702535243,0.0,0.08699906794577092,0.0,0.0,0.08081868902013395,0.0,0.10526841175991236,0.11591781716827675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2287446208121353,0.0,0.07385808649571171,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10404841792004277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11751544843575085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340404833868871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08667749645318201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370594647600164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907408952605466,0.11110705805926904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07714748697534501,0.11617456678261973,0.0870438467671114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17521270649474102,0.09526676136515297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724116835740522,0.06983983485610469,0.0,0.0,0.2542243172513969,0.0,0.0,0.1041497511048854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08993259877445495,0.12857659155264306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097999931377052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10506765138387396,0.0,0.07934993067015356,0.0,0.0,0.07742718672252975,0.0,0.0,0.07018944754069227
divorce,jdashd,2018/03/24,"I'm seeing a new person, and I'm realizing how damaged I am after my now Ex-Wife, and I think I need therapy. When my ex-wife and I went to counseling, the marriage counselor  stated that I have a lot of tendencies to be defensive. I always had to explain why I did or said certain things. Near the end of the marriage I was getting angry having to explain every thing, never lashed out or anything. But I would feel this ball of hate and anger just gather between my shoulders. He told me that what I needed to do was just take a moment before answering the question and just calm down and think ""Am I answering in a defensive way?"" Really simple, but it does kind of work.

I would always have to answer questions like ""Why are you growing a beard?"", ""Why are you eating only that?"", ""Who are you trying to impress?"", ""Why are you so tired?"". Tiny bit of backstory, my ex was cheating on me and was ultimately trying to justify the action.

Anyways, fast forward, when I was on my way to a date with the person I am seeing, I arrived 10 minutes late. I immediately went into explaining that I needed to get gas and such and to be honest, worried about what she would think. Then she said ""No need to be defensive, things happen"". It was uplifting but also brought me down, ""Wow, I'm still super fucked up"". 

I just feel that even though I am over my ex-wife, I might still be acting like I was when I was still married and it may damage my personal life. ",5.9687237762237775,5.590512402097904,6.935795454545456,77.1736931818182,66.5874125874126,9.527622377622377,31.51136363636364,9.017664075816787,2.5628608391608387,1121,39,216,17,16,377,149,286,0.106,0.8079999999999999,0.086,-0.8708,0,0,0,0,0,0,52.0,0,4,0,2,19,18,7,0,12,0,31,5,1,1,2,52,60,23,0,7,9,1,2,2,0,5,2,2,0,3,15,13,1,3,14,1,0,7,2,9,0,0,16,6,38,9,31,35,2,36,0,2,2,1,23,11,1,7,19,164,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08209242257711066,0.17083281913496087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08447555279907397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735105261918766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11207165711334366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08983326830582576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504074108080838,0.0,0.0,0.09092103655151433,0.0,0.0,0.06780204498725652,0.0,0.08649048128863226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380996425922548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09490203343757042,0.1072650292200658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09077665495467313,0.0,0.0,0.10134964144650853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10689841692266476,0.0,0.0,0.11579826209576305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07250760538183293,0.10030318654999372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0872728192485288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10889974583061372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3044667682972189,0.07917314709673537,0.09914394034632518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807304589614196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689007227424116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22999210345578736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576282575837089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19529505595979865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1636040060183225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459390183754877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07718308507618135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739387527289526,0.0,0.2045964078858669,0.19732974892495736,0.10085710243176607,0.0,0.0,0.11798575227742512,0.0,0.09809036289231432,0.0,0.1393907500861831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296404499839964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1903227024099504,0.37051732490873385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07473338546029652,0.10425019088737343,0.0,0.21876751781275267,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,no_lawyer,2018/03/24,"California - One men to family. Hello all.

First, i am french.

My english level is inversely proportional to my love of the « baguette », and i apologize in advance for it.

Long story short the father of a friend, French, work in USA, California.

He had two lifes during more than a decade, and nobody knew except him.

It means : two homes, two woman , a bunch of kids of each woman… in France and US.

Yes, he is a very good liar …

He married his french wife. Then quit her for the American one.

He have a very (very) good job.

He has a green card (the big corporation where he works asked for him the paper)

Now he is Married to the american women. He left his french family for ever.

The thing is that he is not divorce in France. Not yet.

So he is married in France AND USA.

I think he lied to be married in the US.

I think it’s bad for him but i don’t know where i can find informations.

So ii 'll be glad if someone could answer one or more of my questions 

    What are the risks to do a such thing on us law when you are not US born ?

    Where can i find some legal texts / articles to read to help me resolve this type of issue  ?

    And the very important one : is the a place where i can have a paper saying that officially he is married in california ?

Thank you very much.
",1.462890625,3.4970634453125022,3.1996937500000016,90.36093125000002,80.5625,6.439750000000001,20.005625,7.554174236665415,0.5167764374999999,966,25,213,15,25,321,134,256,0.034,0.847,0.119,0.9642,1,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,4,2,0,6,11,10,1,1,20,1,23,2,0,0,2,29,31,12,0,2,7,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,4,9,6,0,0,11,1,3,1,4,3,0,8,2,2,24,7,28,26,7,26,0,0,1,1,40,17,0,4,8,142,33,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789142017993784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742999904301532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360387081208805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09471783947678374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1974259766979198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1914094198460797,0.08906782381777174,0.0,0.0,0.08090009530584702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17565461954072462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07018612825123965,0.0,0.1050344969346148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1092919390435673,0.10391032780517384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057546879900375665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376970292290613,0.0,0.07396105783447053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09266666895903623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09450650918672167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11406187342272835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07697523877737862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838217670346793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10940156907763256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11730120706363213,0.11137391382639483,0.10474016028963898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08327104509711547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872198848863605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964045788621935,0.0,0.0,0.13913176580290115,0.13419021720404786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3068647098387684,0.0,0.5038217247366358,0.0,0.0,0.4319911046515644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524629096516729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,CHARLIETHECHARMANDER,2018/03/24,"If you could go back in time knowing what you know now, what one aspect of your marriage would you change in order to prevent divorce or otherwise? Besides never marrying that person (unless justified, of course) , what would you change about yourself or wish you could notice in your spouse before things got bad? If you couldn't change anything, what would it be that you wish you noticed before getting married ? ",12.222009132420087,9.805066452054797,9.579452054794524,69.7229680365297,55.71232876712329,11.37716894977169,42.141552511415526,8.841846274778883,3.969149771689498,333,13,52,3,3,97,48,73,0.044,0.835,0.121,0.6416,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,0,10,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,1,17,14,5,0,10,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,0,10,0,8,6,0,9,0,0,0,0,14,3,0,4,4,41,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13430784905995322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12549834599079618,0.13627345707594768,0.0,0.0,0.2777592238623266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5179633298863073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2606196643074155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08527044142680057,0.0,0.09275595269226833,0.0,0.1305338740651686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17939179580913092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587754370973914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3716311272254748,0.0,0.0,0.1105952585227378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14250859759825507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10842941165831536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09516901067704077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3753666823366617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478189107741229,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mcmeatballs,2018/03/24,I think my marriage is over It’s been bad for about 3 years. But tonight she left and I think it’s over. I’m lost....advice? ,-2.11785714285714,-0.2880584999999982,-0.21714285714285708,109.08714285714287,98.28571428571428,2.8000000000000003,14.142857142857142,3.1291,-1.8146,94,2,26,0,4,30,22,28,0.149,0.851,0.0,-0.5423,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,5,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,4,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,14,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3962645505592167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3385880745054484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4405932182473365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44266750953031736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5196752574391824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2611383553195424
divorce,TN_SD,2018/03/24,"How do you know it is inevitable? Long story short, I've been depressed for the last several years and I think my wife became exhausted with trying to carry on our marriage. So the sex dried up, I withdrew more, rinse and repeat. We are doing long-distance for a year for work. Before the move, she asked to have an open marriage. It broke my heart to learn that she was basically asking because she wanted to carry out the physical half of an emotional rekindling with an ex. In a case of ""if you love her then let her go"" and see if she comes back to you, I went along with it. She's had the freedom of the past 6 months to freely screw him if he were to fly in to visit her. I've had the freedom to have some one-off flings too. I've been moderately successful in that department, but the physical without the emotional just leaves me feeling worse afterwards. I can't confirm, but I suspect that she and the ex fizzled out after a few trysts. 

We were supposed to treat this year apart as a year with respective hall passes. So the time that we see each other, it'd be like we still loved each other without anyone on the side. We haven't had sex since before the move. After the first 4-5 visits to her were completely sex-less and passionless, I'd come to resent visiting her. I'd rather stay here. I'd probably just run errands, but at least I can tell myself that I could also fire up tinder and get laid. Because some chance for sex is better than effectively no chance.

We're drifting apart. Me much more than her, I think. I feel trapped on a train approaching a head-on collision with divorce, and I can't change rails. I'm not doing my part to salvage this in the least. And right now, I'm probably actively destroying what is left of our marriage. But I don't want to let go. 

I love her. I just wish she still saw something in me. I don't think she does, and I don't know that anything she says could convince me otherwise. I think I'm deeply depressed about it, but I also wonder if I'm not just grieving too? We're barely past the halfway mark of this year apart, and already I feel a sense of resentment in having to plan her move back here.

I'm ashamed that sex has become such a huge stumbling block for me. In my mind, a relationship and indeed a marriage is about a lot more than sex. And yet, all I want right now is consistent and satisfying sex. I'm not finding it on tinder, and I'm definitely not finding it with I'm with my wife either. Surely I'm being irrational here, right? Part of this is the depression talking, right? How can I get my head on straight and get re-engaged with my wife? Or are we too far gone at this point?",3.5309293680297387,4.7646949460966574,4.4603327137546485,87.04012732342011,72.58736059479556,7.6104832713754655,26.27527881040892,8.07648339933343,1.4601597026022295,2083,69,437,30,40,675,244,538,0.11,0.7440000000000001,0.146,0.9627,0,1,1,0,1,0,66.0,8,3,0,6,27,21,4,1,31,0,39,13,2,3,2,89,79,33,1,11,22,5,4,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,22,37,0,1,15,0,0,17,13,11,0,2,12,8,62,10,64,60,16,76,0,5,3,10,52,34,1,9,25,291,84,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08901475122629111,0.1290139743138567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05640215788398231,0.0,0.06637961493176438,0.0,0.1508199385605121,0.0,0.0,0.12405130362446275,0.0,0.09834407503819743,0.08908707195762337,0.13727827861718422,0.0,0.0,0.07134077005165095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08533183683921003,0.13896982043492892,0.08457468962516379,0.0,0.0,0.1288073115715637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2084274050875227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07058962694669642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814723294498289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12235845564688302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745090472701802,0.06861277367936221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12643086252790658,0.0,0.09168644223604944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1655691109128171,0.0,0.0,0.09558725135015192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08866167101233423,0.06575194187983632,0.0,0.0854115495609262,0.08764169307861862,0.1649688499458685,0.0,0.03940836537319765,0.0,0.0,0.14277023760937774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06857766470621217,0.2184072804783608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08144766484903006,0.0,0.06438525069132782,0.257199260777698,0.059297335567025815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05466002713468535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17470254467948007,0.15400586764892238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625357123150223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17393891190549074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08660296915006648,0.0,0.275546527247126,0.0,0.0641472658294851,0.0,0.0,0.12855755968381613,0.0,0.0,0.09112738180173886,0.0,0.06672611039202576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06209910300793221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597711197225512,0.1288367801533539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602488364837277,0.0,0.0,0.06483468328075535,0.0705039083507152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20674498619935253,0.0,0.0,0.04703583838468732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05476557423529562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14273318569309695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07477635410563294,0.0,0.0,0.09275964139891424,0.15551447236461122,0.08747668812342423,0.05872436681415815,0.0,0.08220352707054683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25972491904224804
divorce,sxuls,2018/03/24,"I need help TLDR down below*
I am mainly talking on behalf of my mom because my mother and I can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do or where to ask for advice. My parents have been non-stop fighting back and forth, for years and years and my Mom just wants to leave. My mom has been wanting to leave the whole time, because of my Dad constant abuse verbally and physically, although she can't because she doesn't want to lose everything, and she wants to leave the house so she doesn't have to be near him, and we can't force him out of the house. I don't know what to do. We live in VA, but yeah. I want him and my mom separated and gone from each other lives, He has been such a strain on my mother's life I don't know what to do. By the way, the reasons why my mom wants to leave him because he has been accused of cheating many times from other people, and my mom have watched over him before to keep an eye to make sure he isn't because he isn't that a trustworthy person. And that he can't even take care of his kids cause he wants to do all of these jobs and doesn't help out with the bills or anything of that kind of support. While my mom is just stressing alone and busting her ass everyday working and taking care for her kids. While my dad occasionally take care of us, it doesn't mean shit when a father isn't even a father figure and isn't even there half of the time to support his kids. I would be honestly fine him working or something like that, but he always goes somewhere else when he says he is going on a job.

TLDR: I need advice for my mom so she can divorce my abusive father and she doesn't want to lose anything that she earned all by herself. I live in VA 
",4.577478991596639,4.314684507002802,5.120672268907565,88.62873949579834,69.47619047619048,7.696358543417367,27.364145658263308,6.655083550727371,0.9973439775910364,1327,37,300,8,21,426,154,357,0.138,0.77,0.093,-0.9188,3,1,1,0,4,0,27.0,3,0,0,5,13,17,3,2,13,1,37,4,3,3,3,52,64,28,0,11,7,16,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,4,13,22,0,1,6,0,1,2,16,7,0,1,5,3,45,10,45,56,5,28,0,2,2,1,57,12,2,3,13,196,58,5,0.0,0.1542364878713733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12720583268655705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741119513256465,0.0,0.0,0.05415815424061258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0645494775549163,0.0,0.0,0.10712321066220648,0.0,0.0608481838403508,0.0,0.0,0.05004839943989205,0.0,0.1983841929206384,0.0,0.05538481194403798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19908364764630512,0.06686296475344106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07033664681012729,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054372395148684784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12896937352586174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0584965995536425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036990821943667936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08725378438730873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15020486117887766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12917893555080195,0.05785291034364341,0.0,0.06777879076269584,0.10731144122273996,0.0,0.0,0.2756737720158809,0.0,0.0,0.04597334511917732,0.0317985471146966,0.0,0.1724208111902971,0.0,0.0,0.1456329044988741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043446524125104365,0.06598867992622108,0.0,0.07089955207967649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6098391253823929,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09652336291163556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227215324191398,0.0,0.0,0.04512359402298532,0.05683204156921225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06692096353435809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05176032640382358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06681155636083007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05010766709245781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05441620528299502,0.07455770433672264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14772142973696964,0.061344357262437525,0.0,0.14681347931230262,0.052315002447975066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11385942873732854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07829245114941209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3071231458675381,0.05166356165863479,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058731497064897886,0.07266805744440516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09476919568913417,0.0,0.0,0.04623641223247179,0.0,0.0,0.08382864903747259
divorce,blondeambition39,2018/03/24,"Never thought I'd find myself here, but here I am regardless! Hello everyone! 

So, I've been married for almost 27 years, but we've had our problems. Dead bedroom for 20 years, three years ago he stepped out, 18 months ago I did. Neither one of us ever talked to each other about any of this, I don't think he realizes that I know about his activities and I'm not sure he knows about mine. 

This has been a tumultuous time for us: his mother passed away just before Christmas, and three months later, his father died. Since his mom passed, I felt we were really growing closer. And when his dad died, we have been united in our grief. Saturday night we sat together talking about everything, and when he started crying I got up and went to him and held him, and he clung to me and we cried together. For the first time in ages, I saw the man I fell in love with. 

This past Wednesday, as I was leaving work he called me (very unusual) and asked me to call him when I got home. He's been working on his parents' estate and I know it's been stressful. So I went home, and noticed that his keurig was gone, and I went to his study and all his orchids were gone. 

I called him. He told me he's moved out, and that a process server was coming in 20 minutes to serve me with divorce papers. He took one of our cats. 

He said to get an attorney, and that I would be okay. But I don't trust him. He is about to inherit a substantial amount of money. I think he is rushing this process before probate so that he can show no assets when it comes to spousal support. 

TL;DR New to this and explaining what happened this week when I was served with divorce papers ",4.008008669381321,4.9166024712990914,4.496324707736765,88.45864179692629,71.11480362537766,7.5692105608827,26.77801129646657,7.7425588080867325,1.3275402863522925,1282,41,272,15,23,406,176,331,0.128,0.8079999999999999,0.063,-0.9795,1,0,0,0,2,0,42.0,9,0,0,3,17,8,0,1,6,1,23,1,0,0,4,52,53,28,4,3,5,5,1,0,0,1,0,1,3,1,15,28,0,1,10,1,2,15,6,3,0,5,28,3,48,5,36,23,4,51,0,1,1,1,56,10,0,1,26,170,63,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17976145275588912,0.0,0.101532645632002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06895221254019065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0947908240363544,0.0,0.09526412750502904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17255969305668653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3106075055646651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17468597217238369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2227557306446796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21046441735323532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09171776278701416,0.0,0.09688745816440604,0.09112746716587042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09735529225622948,0.0,0.09267337526710476,0.0862467047601554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05297480672220662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16219000707857886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08966343991285959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034153043928676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1671724495298213,0.0,0.0,0.10736287578918144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09151312613650893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11875283199963092,0.16186536149183006,0.10776705035754666,0.0,0.0,0.07820222854614757,0.09792811535527099,0.0,0.09515252588065663,0.0,0.0,0.11543910649052673,0.0,0.0,0.13741602240124196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125873695533328,0.0,0.09679319087520996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09702151204682546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06495636106915167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0964500538385861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08387515668245869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07176804397050725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161478582644262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506207062264108,0.0955637754142943,0.0,0.0,0.16299524089391015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12993989915569693,0.0,0.08049646232164631,0.11824871226655305,0.0,0.0,0.09688745816440604,0.11265379727906324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2439318806868767,0.0,0.0,0.08366165841914913,0.0,0.0,0.08133311284575864,0.0,0.0,0.2819830968673925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14763382545985554,0.0,0.0,0.07202824044017203,0.0,0.0,0.19588555200673752
divorce,ama3t,2018/03/25,"What to do with the house... He wants it, I don't. He can't really afford it on his own... but he has friends willing to rent a room. Legally though, that leaves no way for me to get my name off the mortgage correct? I would love for him to be able to keep it And I'd do anything short of keep my name on the mortgage to help. I'm even willing to keep our credit card debt and take the car that's still being paid for and him keep the paid off one. I have no money to help with though. Our  only option is to sell, right?",0.6310526315789461,2.028566140350879,2.2086315789473687,99.53242105263159,80.57894736842105,4.910877192982457,18.417543859649122,4.935628992294339,-0.7574287719298249,396,8,100,1,10,129,70,114,0.07,0.754,0.17600000000000002,0.9388,5,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,0,1,16,23,6,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,6,5,0,4,0,0,7,1,4,0,0,1,2,0,11,3,19,16,1,10,0,0,0,1,14,7,0,1,1,66,17,2,0.18438871018014255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15173619754195256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217870040626416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1424582600892062,0.0,0.09633549070576572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24718373137310354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21275981504576655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6555726310303355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19524102045279054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16641800995346792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1249465620353916,0.14023592296549958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11812412928416564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1574669510110459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725306213446876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13863736259734982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3623219431187473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10875723861099684,0.1463591755530003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13098444934142872,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,procrastinauts,2018/03/25,"house valuation/beginning and end-are stuck now separated sept 15, moved out oct 15. We wanted to preserve the kids in the family home (in the Bay Area), started getting her into the house, valued the house using two appraisals, the last of which was done 12/3. significant equity owed to me,  she makes more than me. I'm getting six figures cash, probably her retirement and iras, and she is getting the house, for the most part. Here is my issue in working with mediators and financial people, we started, and the house appreciated 100k -150k between 12/3 and now- how to account for the change in value? our equations, which took a while, were on the 12/3 valuation. I would rather not ignore that (will I ever be able to buy in bay area again?). have asked to retain some equity, and bump the numbers up, but she is balking. suggestions? should I be glad to leave this gargoyle, have my freedom, etc, and avoid giving any more to lawyers? I recognize that using lawyers to get money is at best inefficient. creative suggestions, advice most welcome. ",5.9061879699248125,7.673798942105265,6.098646616541357,75.51052631578948,67.47368421052633,9.007518796992482,31.46616541353384,9.424239791934726,3.019721804511279,829,34,141,17,14,264,124,190,0.027000000000000003,0.799,0.175,0.9862,1,1,0,0,0,0,42.0,3,0,0,2,7,5,0,1,13,0,14,0,0,4,1,31,30,11,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,5,13,0,3,1,0,5,2,1,2,0,2,5,0,16,3,24,20,8,22,0,0,0,0,14,12,0,3,8,100,21,3,0.1233740766516957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12055971982613276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08389860280051062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11533810739319902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12947348187030386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051341427872182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12625451497918866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927281254737144,0.0,0.13759470793096204,0.0,0.1115989156306467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11630609945558122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25783145189312845,0.11835165629198124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12375425818899308,0.0,0.0,0.7117855996772371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877048243295727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056633898979084,0.0,0.1306353333637666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235315418041259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112711862089052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336021022977839,0.0,0.08553205050532514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13301812142803965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17464961291391567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13707313868102947,0.0,0.0,0.1205185459342238,0.0,0.0,0.21311118028928014,0.0,0.0,0.07276922692127433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08981779718059563,0.0,0.0,0.0876414042781775,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,G2GFM,2018/03/25,"TOO LITTLE TOO LATE! This video is crazy accurate. Thought I’d share it here and hope it might help someone’s dying relationship.

https://youtu.be/eyty0xb7IMM",6.1271999999999975,9.562547320000009,3.3520000000000003,79.93600000000002,95.8,6.8000000000000025,25.0,7.554174236665415,2.391800000000001,133,5,19,3,5,36,23,25,0.081,0.644,0.274,0.69,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,1,9,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3577462703039221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23104649475352754,0.0,0.0,0.34236687837020296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3888388872607728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454819756565585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3656743652744868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3700809631513089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2920648988427442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27365489644643226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,emily16302,2018/03/25,"Divorce at 25, lost everything. How to restart? I'm getting divorced tomorrow. It happened so fast. I've been with him since June of 2012, married in April of 2017, and it's already over. We were amazing together and we had become best friends. It came out of nowhere for most people, but I saw it coming. Years of therapy didn't help.

He was fantastic, but he became verbally abusive and controlling over money. So in my next serious relationship, I know I should avoid joining bank accounts and always have a separate one for a back up. We blew all our savings on our honeymoon so I was kicked out of my home with about $200 to my name. No job, no insurance, no phone. Nothing.

I'm over the 'why' and 'how' stage, but I'm having difficulty seeing how I should feel once it's all over. I'll be 25 and divorced so there's obviously an abundance of time left to find someone to make a new life plan with, but how do I get over what I lost?

My dream home, career, cats, friends...everything. How do I make a new life for myself without comparing it to the one I left behind? Thanks in advance. ",1.992007575757576,4.296757754629632,3.4807575757575755,87.59454545454545,80.25,6.8902356902356905,26.94781144781145,8.00094639256281,1.817757407407408,849,37,172,16,22,279,131,216,0.132,0.7859999999999999,0.08199999999999999,-0.8828,1,1,0,0,3,0,35.0,5,0,0,6,12,9,0,1,7,0,13,2,0,8,3,41,30,19,0,2,5,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,2,0,7,16,0,2,3,1,3,3,5,4,0,2,10,3,20,5,33,17,4,29,0,2,2,0,16,15,0,1,10,110,27,2,0.0,0.1636290150373491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239966883139053,0.0,0.11491243812583013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061923857002623,0.0,0.0,0.1525234871351306,0.0,0.0,0.14493017327512644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15795259960840993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1189631736317521,0.0,0.0,0.15489382485031447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24823544934397584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06982883122334195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12622328737492086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10669773709841328,0.0,0.1443058318153534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12212368558418213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09256727117310386,0.0,0.2770563643423458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13704553494098387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07589758503041556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000977886698604,0.0,0.19509192107892429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015106343544943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18436913463216176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26676073059702937,0.1468736968671452,0.0,0.0,0.13251318290573788,0.0,0.0,0.1470747768666017,0.1871638109163304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09574296389689384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482705241149634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004990325580236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11423990952128885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11701389679234107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12714633241943965,0.15793237501970445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052874489094752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12461612876471465,0.0,0.0,0.13312599181794446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893355562759242
divorce,sittinginlimbo25,2018/03/25,"Can my kids spend time with ex in-laws on my time? I find myself in a divorce scenario where my ex-husband does not have a functioning relationship with his family.  Therefore, my three children rarely see their grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins, only twice in the last year.  This has gone on for 2 years, and I'm unsure if it will be repaired or whether this is a long-term situation.  There is a big family reunion coming up this summer in his family and the girls (they are 4, 6 and 10) have been invited via me.  My ex-husband will not be attending of course, but he is aware of it.

I want the girls to attend, and I assume I have the legal right to bring them (we live in Montana, 50-50 joint custody) since the party falls during my parenting time, but this is less of a legal question.

If I bring them without my ex-husband's knowledge, I risk putting a significant strain on what is otherwise a healthly co-parenting situation.  If I try to discuss it with him ahead of time, I think he will do anything he can to stop me from bringing the girls, because he knows it will make him look bad and he can't control the situation.  And that's the key here - I strongly believe he purposely keeps the girls away from his family to maintain control and leverage in their strained relationship.  Or at minimum, he will start to punish me for going against his wishes.

I need to maintain a working relationship with him for flexibilty purposes.  I clean houses during the week, and sometimes my schedule changes at the last minute on days where I have the kids.  He is always good about picking them up from daycare and school, so I don't want to disrupt that balance.

So if I either openly or go behind his back to do what I think is best for the kids (spending time with their family), I'm risking a healthy co-parenting relationship or maybe even worse - we had some legal battles in the divorce, so I don't want to bring up any of those issues.  However, if I ignore it completely, my kids miss out on a relationship with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles - really good people.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?  ",7.656715927750413,6.912343029556652,7.760837438423646,73.85600164203615,63.28571428571429,10.886042692939244,36.821018062397364,10.181067101454742,3.654011165845648,1674,71,310,32,21,544,198,406,0.09,0.81,0.099,0.1691,6,0,0,0,2,0,56.0,2,0,7,6,10,13,2,4,25,0,31,1,0,5,0,59,55,26,0,10,16,5,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,9,14,22,0,5,7,0,2,12,6,9,0,2,4,2,47,4,52,44,4,53,0,1,2,0,48,24,0,12,17,209,61,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07169775974587088,0.0,0.0,0.058596443731848614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060249896816897415,0.0,0.07090801310493776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08095663476728011,0.06625702387796463,0.07194575855267471,0.05252653972736848,0.0,0.0,0.0970805841536106,0.09042684075703826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09115315012120828,0.07422515073882538,0.09034435054273607,0.0,0.19328700045640293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055570519191029684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07540523092449905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056912421821413275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4061524021219025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0787549814462325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794126486425082,0.14454540757710913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09159138057565516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09942502842341372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0899358520444855,0.0,0.07658909585414699,0.0,0.0,0.04735507231030853,0.1404750407571132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608694738123002,0.07625499100746101,0.07235849053665028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05751707184620039,0.0,0.08656622815225795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06389166119985992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553380686023436,0.0,0.0,0.09567814029322616,0.0,0.0,0.05973727591890736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08662152943831286,0.09652664318554154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05520071968967832,0.0,0.0,0.4625549935572826,0.0,0.0735860579529727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720549848161031,0.06866385965156242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07127814638549794,0.387420803194075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08522126293581904,0.0,0.0609893721367021,0.0,0.0,0.07203938293998324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104245347451446,0.0,0.0,0.2512230485226237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058501665904023115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15247040242760593,0.0,0.06911788606674073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0990876773642759,0.08306181239355548,0.0,0.06273052617008933,0.0,0.0878114279629719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097731122458686
divorce,TooManyHondas,2018/03/25,"Is there a ""Turb Tax"" of divorce? I'm having a really hard time trying to figure out how to file for an uncontested divorce with child. Something like turbo tax that guides you through everything would be really nice.",5.7251666666666665,7.557501850000005,6.130000000000003,74.8616666666667,68.0,9.333333333333334,28.333333333333336,9.725611199111238,2.8640833333333333,174,6,29,4,3,56,35,40,0.041,0.8240000000000001,0.135,0.5994,0,0,1,0,2,0,5.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,5,1,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,2,7,3,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,18,2,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.387158178102443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858951542355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21045783278293206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.551938667666952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33163625319263057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2511918603023832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29247201591649963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3060144565412201,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Wizzard82,2018/03/25,"Step son I was very close to my wife's 13 year old son. My four year old daughter was too. We never really bonded with her younger kids. We will be divorced and she will be moving out soon and today was likely the last time my daughter and I will see him. Throughout this divorce process, amicable and no fight, this is the first time I've cried. Knowing that as I said see you later it would be the Last time I saw him. I am sure it will hit me when she leaves for good. Maybe not as bad as it has been a rocky road with many near splits but this is the real one. No point to post really just felt like putting it on text in Reddit would help. Thank for whoever reads it.",1.8820212765957443,3.4490886382978765,2.7173226950354628,96.50875,77.51063829787232,5.834751773049646,19.551418439716308,6.42735559955562,-0.20217304964539012,522,11,123,4,12,164,95,141,0.054000000000000006,0.8370000000000001,0.109,0.8389,0,0,0,0,4,1,12.0,2,1,0,1,4,7,1,0,5,0,17,0,0,0,2,20,25,9,0,2,3,5,1,2,0,6,0,1,0,1,9,10,0,0,2,1,0,3,4,2,0,3,7,5,17,5,13,8,0,26,0,0,3,0,19,7,0,0,17,77,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13435741920543232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1767577236333523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15450376780941294,0.0,0.0,0.13687433459209186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496798359446668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785802538117943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08843475181711245,0.2623346298459727,0.0,0.17038589734417975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15723001705266731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16314269379445098,0.16166088507317047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1710273261994372,0.0,0.0,0.12410767490351304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377067380010069,0.0,0.1090402623541816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15211681823791215,0.0,0.15411222161626206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16176415923724285,0.0,0.0,0.16095868440711647,0.18315665640345885,0.20617271636263668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15306714589548934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25645706323920514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15166061366999026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14814903988662076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28149273388819634,0.0,0.15252873597081815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277184164701156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2286189949982265,0.0,0.0,0.20724814674900965
divorce,PirateGrievous,2018/03/25,"Wife asked me for a divorce [30/m] Need to rant, after 5 years of marriage my wife asked me for a divorce. I have IBD/RA and she told me she resent's me for being chronically ill and depending on her. She also resented me for working so much and being a workaholic. I tried to give her everything she wanted or needed to show I appreciated her. Only to find out she isn't happy and resent's me, and she doesn't want to waste anymore time on this marriage. I realize it's my fault for working so much and being sick, which caused me to be to emotionally distant from pain and stress. Where do I go from here? I'm willing to give her everything. I'm just afraid of being alone, afraid of getting my infusions alone, afraid of what life will be for me after divorce. ",3.2605913978494603,4.669281419354841,4.825564516129036,83.47168010752691,73.51612903225806,7.489247311827956,26.46505376344086,8.07648339933343,1.6127311827956985,600,21,121,9,12,202,84,155,0.17800000000000002,0.7859999999999999,0.036000000000000004,-0.9612,0,2,0,0,3,0,18.0,0,0,0,2,6,10,3,4,3,0,12,5,0,2,0,18,25,11,0,4,2,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,4,8,0,0,2,1,0,1,2,9,0,0,1,0,26,1,25,16,2,9,0,0,0,0,22,4,0,2,4,86,30,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3514910905132593,0.0,0.13569939560140612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16828485397137258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3172706618201519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1743162715771488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19087610900826366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050091832372028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15509171590714882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08865495241450337,0.3255602954473498,0.09643757478556213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18063598249304466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198556202623676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24948034164559246,0.2516429357401242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905533553862128,0.18055994707162165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1943769781261464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09894641064044722,0.0,0.0,0.1621441119770416,0.0,0.11520698223611515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2001727036038992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24706970314302265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10927347901372808
divorce,Mikeh1982,2018/03/25,"Panicking My wife of 6.5 HAPPY years told me last weekend that she isn’t sure this is what she wants anymore. No signs, no argument, no emotional distance, no lack of sex. Just, she realizes only now after 9 years of being together that perhaps she was never attracted to me in the first place and maybe that’s not a sign she should stay. She also says she’s confused and doesn’t want to leave necessarily but she’s not sure she’s happy. And the hope is maybe she’s just going through something.

But I’m not okay with that as a fleeting hope. I am a “give me the bad news first and immediately” type of person. As far as I’m concerned, my entire life forever will be ruined if she leaves and I don’t know how well I’ll do with it.

My wife and I met at work. If I lose her, I can’t ever go back there and see her again. My career of 11 years will be over, and I’m just an ops manager in a office which means my skills don’t  translate immediately to other well-paying jobs. So the way I see it, I’m 36, short, a little salt and pepper in the thinning hair, I’m not in terrible shape but I’m not in good shape, and I would be unemployed with few good opportunities. So I would be pretty much undatable at any age, but now at a critical age when the good dating pool is so much smaller. 

Long story short: I’m absolutely terrified about my future for the entirety of my life if she leaves. We never had children and I’m not close with my mom or sisters so I would be alone. And I have never been alone in my life.

I’m spiraling. I don’t know what I expect to gain from spilling all of this on reddit. But there it is. I haven’t even lost her yet, but deep down, I know it’s a losing battle. I was blindsided by the fact that she wasn’t happy, but I always knew I wasn’t good enough for her. It just took her almost a decade to figure that out on her own. ",2.615862068965516,3.575364374045801,4.377615161884709,87.8143511450382,74.470737913486,7.558094235325085,22.712029481442485,7.990435384864732,0.8920696499078709,1441,36,327,21,29,489,190,393,0.182,0.73,0.087,-0.9876,3,2,1,0,0,0,41.0,1,0,0,9,22,23,1,1,17,1,32,5,1,1,8,71,59,33,0,13,21,4,2,0,0,6,3,1,0,2,17,19,0,0,7,2,0,3,22,8,1,2,11,6,49,15,40,36,7,52,0,4,2,1,30,24,0,8,23,221,66,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943554294382304,0.1951829572626052,0.0,0.07535385688881767,0.07840499403533496,0.0,0.0,0.06407806656123613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09344855772211702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0724552842426857,0.0786761928152849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10599347873259077,0.0,0.09736240177298924,0.0,0.06223650654163373,0.08523434843063715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1603000653557632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039179505220507,0.10710354569951526,0.3161348934496097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30092141339524475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1871787327143165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09350645173720183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15535523739623214,0.07680815113131338,0.0,0.299320583673001,0.0,0.0,0.19966743145488275,0.0,0.094440908955434,0.0,0.08338854848876673,0.0,0.2108333854557444,0.10286066449250797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18932877752376664,0.1026415880648018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11035834229064466,0.0,0.0,0.13853640156331334,0.0,0.21802263138820466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166441119222527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08227599228092887,0.09844789016652926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958634454057693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07493364830951957,0.0,0.0,0.1501745528871667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07254108627953618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10043418979575336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1776169824360864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0900386044840705,0.10469044073409883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11115587651342228,0.07479356156956808,0.0,0.0,0.1694440354799952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06859888715675709,0.0,0.0,0.2008099616465752,0.0,0.0,0.18203864644018428
divorce,eb4554,2018/03/26,"Need divorce advice/child custody I am currently in the beginning stages of divorce. I have a young child (2yo), I currently live in the same location as his father but due to the nature of my job I will have to move in about a year to another state most likely. Wht do you do in this situation? How is custody handled? His father said he wants full custody but I am not willing to give up my time with my son just because of my job. Please help. ",1.7819999999999998,3.975891866666668,3.518888888888892,87.64500000000002,80.33333333333334,6.666666666666668,25.555555555555557,7.793537801064563,1.524888888888888,348,14,71,6,9,116,60,90,0.0,0.921,0.079,0.782,4,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,1,0,10,14,4,0,2,4,3,0,1,0,2,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,12,1,15,11,3,16,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,1,8,50,13,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2807148772018668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16319213605770408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2568096305051237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1794388358726177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5313171910483084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13078846532028887,0.0,0.2363908137429317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28453093042614225,0.0,0.1985018758440617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29386267593076365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546513379302364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30091468405584965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15610251932880992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1579009442140112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723949889587394
divorce,Jnaks07,2018/03/26,"I want to shout his infidelity from the rooftops. My divorce was finalized today. Pro se, no contest, no fault divorce. We wanted it done quickly and as cheaply as possible. We agreed on what to split. I held my ground that he must pay half our credit card debt, even though he mostly blames me for it (and I, of course, disagree...). We don’t own much else together, so it was pretty easy.

Amongst the many reasons why we are divorcing is the one thing I couldn’t get past, that he denies, and that I wish I could tell everyone: he cheated on me. HE CHEATED WITH A GIRL WHO WORKS FOR HIM, WHO IS 14 YEARS YOUNGER. 

Thank goodness we didn’t have kids. We had talked about starting soon. I’m almost thirty and I’ve already been married for six years and divorced. We’ll see what’s next.

When he’s done paying off his share of our debt, when all my possessions are out of his house (I have nowhere to store them right now), when my dog is out of his house, all I want to do is ruin his career by going to HR with the screenshots of messages which prove the affair. With the dated love letter that proves they’re still together. He’d get fired so fast...

But I can’t. Unfortunately I think I’d think less of myself. I think my boyfriend would think less of me. 

But do you all get me when I say that no matter how hard I want to move on, it is so hard to let go? It’s so hard to let go of the rage I feel when I think about how he is feeding this girl the same shit he fed me once upon a time. She thinks the world of him right now, but she is 20 and doesn’t even realize what the world is. How can he honestly think they can survive as a couple? Once they go public, which they can’t right now because he is still her supervisor, everyone will see exactly what happened between us. 

And they’ll see history repeat itself. 

Because I met him at age 17. He was 22. We were together 11 years. I thought I was spending the rest of my life with him. I thought we were a great couple. Our friends thought so, too. Then this shit happened. And that’s where I drew the line. All our other problems, I would have been willing to work on. I wanted to fight hard for this marriage. But now I know I’m better off.

At least we don’t have any kids. 
",1.8217778366914104,3.585945549999998,2.868653234358433,94.47893425238605,78.28260869565217,5.879109225874868,22.52386002120891,6.697824305789354,0.3606198303287376,1723,52,391,16,41,549,220,460,0.104,0.8109999999999999,0.085,-0.5711,2,0,0,0,4,0,65.0,15,1,5,4,28,18,6,0,16,0,48,6,2,4,8,68,86,30,0,12,4,0,6,0,1,7,1,2,0,4,25,23,2,1,16,0,7,5,10,9,0,3,18,11,69,9,47,56,12,50,0,1,3,1,68,18,2,2,27,259,94,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08330327598816979,0.0,0.09180279321630788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056572397532602216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10142432192872483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357524309981453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0664208506233529,0.18409742753156855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17026554372238173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06949499388545205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989309066461883,0.0,0.0,0.15898418911518772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04206361997036391,0.0,0.0,0.09113113417687113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427277940039762,0.0,0.13039081914976738,0.0,0.18911632917868484,0.06977625038462595,0.0,0.09171782773452107,0.0,0.0,0.14713018132476186,0.0,0.29808941622053003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19198135157825166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045719327066734615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013585961963154,0.058759915380117066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07508268060619706,0.0,0.0,0.08434211690401715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08841834350405361,0.06115459471991275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08847404804617247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1771903499732305,0.056372040578834014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07941475220174685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937847971196417,0.0,0.08463465321877947,0.0,0.07960208014395337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0855336966287988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21313271548133303,0.0,0.06615643024564705,0.0,0.0,0.198876190273968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17078772005818962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05888266908433545,0.0,0.13287209281757684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06686537838360022,0.07271216995044015,0.07659064191423977,0.0,0.0,0.055268076367713165,0.3731358249213769,0.0817342508163874,0.1981319104346634,0.04850905367367662,0.0,0.07885487349302475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10006793702993713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2453395823121749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0750664931763127,0.0,0.09566497755540834,0.0,0.0,0.12112735988429042,0.0,0.0,0.11819229874255748,0.0,0.0,0.16071587713822966
divorce,saperlipopet,2018/03/26,"What are the next steps? My husband and I have been seriously struggling for years now. We are in couple therapy. For the first time I feel good about the idea to stop and divorce. I'm still very unsure and scared about the following steps and consequences on the kids and our financial/logistical situation. But I don't want it to be a reason to stay. 

What's the next step ? I feel like I want to see a lawyer just for a consultation to get an idea about the possibilities and what are the options, things to be mindful about. 

But I also think about seeing mediator together to try to keep things amicable and in our best interest commonly, especially for the kids. How to protect and ensure for myself, but also make sure everybody can make it through so we have a situation as stable as possible for everyone, for the sake of the kids ?? ",4.871479166666672,6.4917788562500025,6.056249999999999,75.3904166666667,69.8125,10.083333333333336,29.583333333333336,10.317481424215053,3.1846458333333345,667,26,126,19,12,223,92,160,0.067,0.818,0.115,0.8692,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,4,0,0,2,12,8,0,2,16,0,10,0,0,4,1,30,23,17,0,2,4,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,7,10,0,3,6,0,0,4,1,3,0,1,1,4,12,5,28,20,1,17,0,0,2,0,10,3,0,1,10,93,19,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22979098288381894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.150776271418955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897178112820035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728600151422599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529108151154,0.10264023899737627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220844126396516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07506337284171306,0.0,0.0,0.12050635310685325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3243793505268156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1277034363642569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07019152042337419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918060956968964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14506908308800398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3055963831783625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3239401319347555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477200880194552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14384204399473616,0.0,0.2289780479517904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3229896327611823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531366285760154,0.11473768830267685,0.1201173176468352,0.0,0.15019853495815313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13541039123938695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1643029474380539,0.0,0.1909003218026639,0.0920600536448016,0.0,0.0,0.08377706051352056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09754474427018472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11854552469447968,0.1694844774502987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09252089898563537
divorce,Rockstarglass,2018/03/26,"Advice on legal counsel for mediation. I am the initiator of our divorce, married 11 out of our 20 years together. I am separated, having moved out of the marital home 5 weeks ago. I'm staying with really good friends of mine who went from ""uhm....how about 2 months?"" to ""How about you live rent free and help us fix things, etc, til at least the end of June, or longer."" Thank goodness for that.

My stbx wife and I met with a mediator for our first session last Friday. In between moving out my home, taking on a full time job(market crash for my business), and still running my small business (glassblower, sole proprietor) 16-20hrs a week, I haven't had much time to prepare. Also when we first discussed mediation nothing was a huge rush.

At the session I discovered my wife already has legal counsel, has had the house appraised, and is already working on a mortgage refi. Great, really, I'm glad she's pushing to move on.

-The mediator suggested I find a lawyer that I can use for legal advice. I'm going to work my network today ad start looking for a contact. If I can't find one, I'll start making calls to law firms.

-Will I need to put down a retainer? How much does it unusually cost to just talk to a lawyer? If the process stays amicable it looks like I'll only need advice and reviews of our settlement agreement.

Thanks! Any advice is helpful. I'll have more questions about asset division etc.",3.0733076923076936,5.457439618518517,4.3244444444444445,82.55461538461539,76.8888888888889,7.116809116809117,28.162393162393165,8.139509932561175,2.129752136752137,1107,48,204,20,26,363,168,270,0.017,0.8170000000000001,0.166,0.9893,4,0,0,0,1,0,49.0,6,1,0,4,10,10,0,0,16,0,15,0,0,4,0,26,32,13,0,4,4,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,3,0,6,11,0,1,3,0,3,9,2,0,0,3,5,2,24,11,39,26,7,43,0,0,2,0,22,14,0,4,19,124,30,10,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39574171314314,0.08974757107301014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22345271872887248,0.08096557850608671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06885006213201432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10338245029402138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08860016928653394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08967300624916591,0.0,0.22582984397507616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18507216549155853,0.1722378662746179,0.0,0.0,0.0782216248226784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057539858579562675,0.16983898098191516,0.0,0.1116229541888517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13572475955854812,0.0,0.2031139513889892,0.0,0.0,0.1168231201155416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10047002597523992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825281763547339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04946318594384213,0.0,0.08940117728997415,0.0,0.1700405776168073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06758181415214523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0808127816727971,0.32282219117665845,0.1488534278115992,0.1501437480901944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714729439623453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0686062225686023,0.07700137391822938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10177917470708933,0.11341755501634855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297202607638987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433234440035533,0.21582736741933128,0.08085437638407388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0761236291718348,0.08137688443447101,0.0,0.18642556032691834,0.0,0.0,0.06726266974350968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11807353073459982,0.0,0.09596840820257092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12178525186179708,0.08744316063779875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242524109162199,0.0,0.0,0.09385511609788927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14741511086063122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06519845136014403
divorce,Friendofafriend105,2018/03/26,"Should I(M34) help my STBX(F35) get a house? Not looking for legal advice per say, I have an lawyer. But, honestly, should I? We are doing a legal separation; at least for a time so she can keep some benefits while she gets herself set up. She would like to stay in a particular city, but may have a hard time getting a house due to pets/high cost of rent vs owning. I actually would like to encourage this city choice, as this is a place I am confident I can get back to, or rotate to, so I can be with my kids (3) more. Also, she is willing to let me keep a house that we own if we can work out something for a new house. Financially (with her income and my Child Support) she can manage, its just using my benefits to get that initial home loan (during the separation we split the houses, and do the paperwork to get refinanced individually with the equity we have,) Or is this just a bad idea?",4.888542407313358,5.079179022346366,6.182061960385983,79.72376841036059,68.83240223463687,9.637582529202641,28.004570848146265,9.573946990214177,2.2136770949720685,691,21,146,14,11,234,109,179,0.048,0.825,0.127,0.9395,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,5,0,0,1,6,8,0,0,15,0,23,0,0,1,0,30,34,12,0,5,9,0,1,2,0,6,0,1,2,2,6,11,0,2,1,0,3,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,23,7,20,26,5,13,0,0,1,0,17,5,0,5,8,107,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.11852388572808265,0.0,0.0,0.11868574796572708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09712860611180454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09339244272937808,0.10141098621676796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3807356067327914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880104086832633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08140963699648343,0.12832531130461242,0.12183063064750567,0.0,0.0,0.7007216540545964,0.0,0.13710944516935886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21591198425778133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12419735561459007,0.0,0.11867488365350765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10199275167980802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1173033080029418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689604409541522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09658697128024353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935030386906855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12945631801200566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13782723644520153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14164435888133434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048992974974114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08842167561758271,0.0,0.0,0.17255822482871194,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,inthedarkesthours,2018/03/26,does mediation work for a divorce? My STBXW and I have attended our second mediation session at her request. She wants a divorce but doesn't want to spend money on lawyers as we don't really have any money to spend. The problem is we haven't really come to agreement on anything and our mediation is more of a resolution process and not anything legally binding. We will have to write up a separation agreement after and each have a lawyer review it. We have a house. I am currently living in it as she decided to move out. We have the kids stay 50/50. The mortgage is up for renewal in August and we are trying to decide whether to sell it or not. I would like to try to keep it for the kids'sake as it is their childhood home but it needs a lot of upkeep and it is expensive and sometimes I'd rather not be here with the memories associated knowing we will never be a family unit all living here together again. Should I just fix it up enough to sell and split the proceeds and move on? I would likely end up just getting a cheaper rental for a while until I decide where I eventually want to buy again. Sucks starting life over at 38.,4.111380392156864,5.587647306666668,5.409986928104576,79.84917647058825,71.48888888888891,8.316339869281046,29.679738562091497,8.841846274778883,2.418518954248366,904,37,173,17,17,302,123,225,0.064,0.894,0.043,-0.1391,3,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,9,0,1,1,8,6,1,0,16,0,23,1,0,0,2,47,33,18,0,9,10,0,0,2,0,5,1,0,1,1,8,20,0,1,4,0,8,4,7,2,0,1,0,0,21,4,36,26,5,31,0,0,0,0,18,14,1,2,14,136,29,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1153151480034356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27908751811779914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1460717357216131,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14839408009270874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15019094634523664,0.17521377240202465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598579073397992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08859465784457568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1700950924421385,0.0,0.0,0.1956639539484564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072387266857168,0.0,0.0,0.09319263805780363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197741059997086,0.16568916370471645,0.0,0.29947133442254564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14416451692922333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3604575663074097,0.0,0.12573589621178147,0.13078480337003218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16225802782870138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2172650336952658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1677115866187335,0.0,0.12002432275182265,0.18074177456391435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2302572590596749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3000548480816155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12345083504966195,0.0,0.0,0.2409189466384168,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,nothowiplannedit,2018/03/26,"Divorce almost 4 years into marriage, she just went cold... I just have to get this out. Have been living with each other for almost 8 years, of which almost half we've been married. Over the last year and a half, intimacy went down to 0 gradually - from her towards me. I have tried, but I kept feeling rejection and her distancing away. We shifted from partners to roomies/friends. I lied to myself, telling myself that it's just a phase, blaming it on her stress from work and whatnot. Last night she hugged me, cried and said she wants a divorce and that she's been thinking about it for a long time already. Reasons are simple, she no longer loves me, my character traits (phlegmatic mainly) that she adored early on are no longer the traits she wants to spend with her entire life, in otherwords, she believes we are incompatible. We never had a physical fight, never called each other names, had some common hobbies, had mostly common friends, traveled together. She had a conflict with my mother, and has not been happy about the fact that I haven't been 100% on her side in the conflict. It's just one of many bits of why she stopped loving me I guess. All in all, not how I planned it. I still love her, she is a good person and she believes that so am I. I am heartbroken, suggested counseling, but she is firm on the divorce. I am not going to fight it, I don't want her to be unhappy, she had previous depression issues. Now I have to figure out how I am going to deal with the stress and emotions myself and what I'm going to do with my life as I really wanted to start a family for the past 3 years, now that is significantly delayed. Today, my life sucks.  

for reference: turning 34, no kids, no jointly owned real estate, I don't expect any issues with the divorce",6.695393206854341,6.374992869186047,6.872796817625459,78.0354834761322,65.07558139534882,9.567686658506732,32.34944920440636,8.99025400887824,2.605630232558139,1393,49,265,20,19,449,174,344,0.177,0.722,0.101,-0.981,0,0,0,0,6,0,53.0,3,0,0,2,12,15,3,2,16,0,30,7,0,3,5,62,52,15,0,5,9,1,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,3,17,23,0,5,5,1,1,6,12,7,0,3,14,3,51,8,44,37,9,43,0,2,0,4,45,15,1,6,22,199,68,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3139595219655833,0.0,0.11533104283273918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710714061565642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09819199774212088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2354973505857195,0.0,0.0,0.11409949345854226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671793004658307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148009789905029,0.0,0.10774677090917073,0.09001560472659402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11756137444865172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852414410938264,0.0,0.05284415633271088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1614906565324348,0.0,0.054602946967436415,0.0,0.17818888753324008,0.08765929052785829,0.0,0.0,0.11513120371387395,0.0,0.0,0.11125443874091938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.218165713193825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17038164845287845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22145869684764352,0.0,0.0,0.09228557223184113,0.09248939171389943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2829771366298233,0.0,0.0,0.1059582607071823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612114286865593,0.0,0.0,0.09807696612701668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07081969947523882,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997680557077432,0.0,0.09125541356251922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11895697133642398,0.0669527452408759,0.1074552318500277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0994143726162392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739737800163704,0.0,0.08346302160933293,0.08737629654840295,0.23943514804878985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09134766049281752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06696675138201443,0.0,0.0,0.060941498085274125,0.0,0.09906468500327432,0.0,0.0,0.0709564504857585,0.11367850445336447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2465743699936608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19376642139478686,0.0943053760839482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07608561919306679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26920792655268583
divorce,Engineered85,2018/03/26,"Marriage at the Brink, need to vent So my marriage is probably going to end. Feel like dog crap now and do not have a support network to turn to so bear with me as I vent. Been married about 6 years. Things started to change when she got a job at a new company; not against it at first but over the last few years it has been like a wooden plane, just taking what we had and scraping it down to nothing. The last year has been particularly rough, started with her devulging that during a work trip some drunk man had come on to her and kissed her. Wasn't too happy because my feeling is she put herself in a situation that could of been avoided. Since then my suspicion/ intuition is that she is cheating on me. I don't have the time nor the emotional strength to confirm this but my gut feeling has never betrayed me. Fast forward to today, her birthday of all days. She just goes off with her friends and gets drunk, gets home, and crashes on the couch. Gets to about now and she wonders why I did not wake her up to go out again. I about hit the ceiling. I have basically been the one holding the house together,  you name the household chores and chances are i do about 90% of them. So here is my dilemma, and please don't take this as a sales pitch for religion. I took my vows seriously, got married in a church, she finished her confirmation to get married in the Catholic tradition. I don't want to end it because I took a vow before God. But I have reached my limit. She played me oh so well. Thank you for reading my post.",3.400196078431371,4.9176490359477185,3.958970588235297,89.38786764705885,73.34640522875817,6.799346405228758,29.08986928104575,7.333567415737692,1.4945124183006535,1199,50,253,13,24,378,170,306,0.098,0.78,0.122,0.8399,1,1,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,2,1,4,17,14,2,1,20,0,28,7,3,0,2,36,53,20,0,3,8,0,4,2,1,0,1,0,3,1,11,14,2,3,4,4,1,8,9,4,1,2,13,4,41,10,42,38,3,46,1,0,0,1,24,16,1,2,25,177,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15451652213733733,0.0,0.10784463715119053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13407191689854472,0.109173497881368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10118991816318387,0.0,0.0,0.08173547508870184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14256310408053344,0.22450436262182688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19224750462403195,0.09054159698344398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780321192724096,0.0,0.0,0.097917404348326,0.0,0.2648613338566411,0.0,0.14405616378981306,0.0,0.2027277883160396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13491487492408205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1271284696017702,0.0,0.0,0.14623854612478066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257678318573123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066166442483197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12383549406954865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09397456346277776,0.0977480987892492,0.12240427506926305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12160845454573165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08588089612418072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13912017995382273,0.0,0.0,0.12137989592415314,0.0,0.13664491593189604,0.0,0.0,0.12740661711674905,0.0,0.0,0.1267722193381374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10483891896408894,0.14245873472703569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17941150737924613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14382069226429411,0.0,0.0,0.19058228961563375,0.0,0.0,0.11668325103687775,0.0,0.0,0.08419904400801516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07390190166711005,0.0,0.120132731222836,0.0,0.2816209898396915,0.0,0.13785446570449014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07475331021319431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11395261272112844,0.0,0.1143612620136728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13744187040931655,0.09226671684406644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2448452000014575
divorce,LurkandListen,2018/03/27,"what are my options? My wife and I almost got a divorce around new year, but then decided to try and work things out. I am not sure it will be possible to fix it. Here is the problem. 

1. We recently moved to her hometown. No friends or support here. 
2. she is the main bread winner. I will probably not be able to get a decent apartment  on my own salary. (I am job hunting)
3. From past conversations, she will not be ok with us sharing a house separated until finances are better. 

What do I do? wait out until I can move out to drop the bomb? Leave and home I'll find something? 

house is a rental. 2 kids. WA state. My main priority is the kids and ensuring that I will be an active father is the most meaningful way.     ",-0.1783985649054145,2.133887924657536,2.0734833659491194,92.57970319634704,94.41095890410959,5.246705805609915,20.65101108936725,6.868970318607317,0.5916846705805616,551,20,119,9,21,185,96,146,0.08800000000000001,0.698,0.214,0.9786,3,0,1,0,1,0,23.0,2,0,0,2,3,7,0,0,10,1,20,1,0,0,1,24,24,9,0,1,5,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,6,10,1,1,3,0,1,2,4,1,0,0,1,0,16,6,14,15,4,18,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,4,7,83,22,3,0.17750163583464088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.177742248230219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801408842497844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15698577237830494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223327943959515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13713732353399816,0.0,0.09273727861375204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14196427325998615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780486133409036,0.0,0.0,0.4096261118547188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1761429846141605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18794860313593686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3773122958917993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17143218597179866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16944539613290588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20010642429269387,0.0,0.0,0.19137678505822006,0.16984509337421078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17526145142980434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13664943121082218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20142675285559972,0.16729319112857508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1179241996479447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12051195921833648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2135126127090957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14089253650446487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12922330492189826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143052338577791
divorce,Gnarshredsledbro,2018/03/27,"Just lost My marriage isn't ""bad"". We don't hate each other. In fact she still very much loves who I used to be. I have changed a lot in the past two years, mostly due to a new career, finding things out about who I am, etc. I am not who I was when we got married and I feel so guilty about it. She is clinging to who I was and i am a big coward who doesnt want to ruin her life by leaving her.

There's no fire or passion any more. And the whole situation its been causing me to be more and more depressed each day.

EDIT: 30 years old. No kids. Just under two years married",-0.15614769230769454,1.6780779760000044,1.7536000000000025,99.61618461538464,85.24,4.166153846153846,18.415384615384614,4.713530739802397,-0.7964276923076925,437,11,108,1,13,144,84,125,0.158,0.743,0.099,-0.6953,0,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,0,1,8,7,1,0,5,0,13,3,0,2,1,21,20,7,0,1,4,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,9,9,0,0,2,0,0,0,6,5,0,2,5,2,16,2,12,13,10,15,0,3,0,2,14,5,0,3,10,81,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12587064753874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545462256742541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19014309912234698,0.1958055011573395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937067830683205,0.0,0.1594216727690448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20642936124162234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0935893706898662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691730739992129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803702784297268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18274255713905369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959884128348844,0.0,0.0,0.13073776118388056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20205257650157316,0.1573607753376023,0.16705506641114254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606579839450114,0.0,0.0,0.17876547884278096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19422560380911824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17669370081057373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20805403989693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781675421425847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12296860066104748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36162097843841096,0.0,0.0,0.15986227043934514,0.0,0.15272239615581826,0.10917356675477988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20665146543578647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35758448302438484
divorce,JJMSpartan,2018/03/27,"The roller coaster How do others deal with the emotional roller coaster? This morning on my drive in to work, I went through screaming anger, crying, wondering how it happened, thinking maybe it could work, and thinking that maybe it's for the best that it will be over.  It's been like this for a few months now - she informed me she had made up her mind while we were in with our (now former) marriage counselor in December. It took me til mid-January to realize she had made her mind up several months before that, which she later admitted.  But this is after 4 years of basically just being roommates without any intimacy whatsoever - r/deadbedrooms is completely accurate of what we have.

We have 4 kids together. We agree on basically every issue with the kids, from joint custody to child support to who pays for which bills for them.  We agree how to handle college costs which start this fall. Heck, we have agreed on almost everything related to divorce, and in a lot of ways are working better together than we have in years on the split process.  And it's how well we have worked on this stuff that confuses me.  How can we get along so well and yet are headed to splitting up?

I still love her. Deeply. It makes this hurt so much more. It would be so much easier if this was like the ""starter marriage"" divorce I had in my 20's, where she cheated on me 6 months in, and we divorced. That's just anger and hatred and I haven't spoken to ""the bitch"" in over 20 years.  But this… I have no feelings of anger at her other than about the whole ""why couldn't we make this work"".  I feel like she's given up on me - on us - and it just doesn't make sense.


Maybe at some time in the future it will make sense. But right now, it's just a whirlwind of emotions. And I'm sad, angry and confused all at once.",4.691864406779661,5.596414471751416,4.895833333333336,86.23324152542375,69.53672316384181,8.046892655367232,28.309322033898304,8.212053250817874,1.7188271186440682,1409,48,289,19,24,442,179,354,0.119,0.78,0.101,-0.8952,0,0,0,0,3,0,48.0,13,0,1,7,21,19,5,2,12,0,28,2,1,11,1,64,49,24,0,4,9,0,2,3,0,3,0,1,0,3,33,25,0,0,8,2,3,4,5,10,2,0,11,3,37,9,55,30,9,53,0,2,0,1,37,28,2,7,23,210,70,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10333473392513337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07017603542228662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08781121508861342,0.0,0.10829662648353336,0.09126745711988628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10819783488745367,0.0,0.0,0.08239268918091437,0.0,0.11335469500073525,0.0,0.1063893571389625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23216062897158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869461102966204,0.0,0.0927448754461346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435683173331052,0.07372242011472134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05391504893130844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09125486338442453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10590768588335092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1104722192368085,0.0,0.0,0.10770861057182167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15124737065183505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08773256958713352,0.09313737942225682,0.1952909208723667,0.2755334497592606,0.0,0.3110192857942036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20839475810933436,0.0,0.2471074296942456,0.0,0.15172017423610065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10989914533004258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812783644560154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11658080512750565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07304184463880604,0.0,0.08241153900916108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813341194387544,0.0,0.11710429072989653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13224618369720156,0.0,0.0,0.06017374580852325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465327328985488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413069623929372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191126711117376,0.0,0.0,0.18556912332203093,0.09566265807022016,0.0931172994945446,0.11521336262313125,0.0,0.09947615106889664,0.11191041078634292,0.37563539237264093,0.0,0.0,0.07330665929810805,0.0,0.0,0.19936229643575945
divorce,GrandAd7,2018/03/27,"[TX]If a judge legally declares you divorced but no Final Decree is ever signed, are you really divorced? Didn't know how else to title it but essentially, legally speaking, I think I am divorced. At least that is what the judge said when me and my ex-spouse went to our court date and came up with hand written final agreement.

After we and our attorneys signed the written agreement, I saw the judge, he told me to raise my left (or right) hand, asked me some questions and he officially divorced me under the Great State of Texas and signed the handwritten agreement.

All that was needed was typed up Final Decree containing the legalese crap and info from our hand written final decree but all of a sudden my ex-spouse wanted to change terms. Been a couple of months but no movement/update. My Attorney wants to hurry up and close the case out so wants some sort of action/update if not wants to file a motion to withdraw.

My attorney thinks we have a good chance of getting the judge to force my ex-spouse into signing the final decree based on the final handwritten agreement but I don't want to put any more money in to this at the moment. Attorney said it is unlikely that judge will award me legal fees from my ex if we do take this to court and my attorney wants me to pay up front.

What happens if my attorney drops me and the divorce just stays unfinished?  Can I conclude the divorce later on in the future?",9.470612745098036,7.32119699264706,8.694117647058825,73.10186274509806,60.691176470588225,11.125490196078431,36.63725490196079,9.2995712137729,3.2703078431372545,1130,38,204,14,12,356,140,272,0.04,0.787,0.173,0.9923,1,0,0,0,6,0,26.0,6,2,0,2,5,8,1,0,19,0,14,4,4,2,3,53,37,21,0,10,11,1,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,9,17,0,1,6,0,3,5,5,1,0,0,13,7,29,7,34,23,7,40,0,0,1,0,23,16,1,8,16,137,38,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07602410562704527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10451278289023766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278631458388403,0.0,0.0,0.118263776292726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12369850745906245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338997437140174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10112454160817512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7347925779439249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058408021344839176,0.0,0.0,0.09376793738400284,0.0,0.12325385042332747,0.0,0.0,0.09885952278683204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061439343243598676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12146507057730248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892333174388136,0.0,0.0,0.08289421832447272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11238436813214353,0.12523544519090232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161843069490026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.095471907273001,0.2126843740216432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11915808112440915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405556430402421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1432668257428625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10682445250228034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.39563581818035104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10363463792063504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SameFunction,2018/03/27,"Psych Evaluation I'm wondering if anyone has had to order a psych evaluation on their spouse?  I'm not looking to prove anything, I just want to be divorced. 

The background is he had a mental breakdown. During this ""manic state"" - he was physically abusive, he started to see things in the house that wasn't there (i.e. objects) and became EXTREMELY paranoid (i.e. set up booby traps for intruders). He's suffered from depression throughout our marriage and before. He's been unresponsive through his lawyer.  In the little response I've received, he's making outrageous claims like he wants the entire downpayment on the house and spent over $100K since we split. Given his background, I don't even think he will care about following the judge's timeline when finally served.   

Married 10 years, no kids, in a no-fault state.  I filed, he won't accept the papers - we've been trying for several months. We'll have to do a publication. ",5.804755656108598,7.773396335294117,5.821764705882355,76.61486425339366,68.0,8.524886877828052,31.900452488687787,9.057496981413335,2.961226244343892,747,32,124,14,13,235,117,170,0.129,0.8290000000000001,0.042,-0.9383,0,0,0,0,1,0,32.0,3,0,1,0,5,6,1,0,11,0,15,0,0,1,1,14,29,5,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,4,0,1,2,5,3,0,0,8,2,9,3,17,17,0,19,0,2,2,0,21,8,0,2,6,64,12,4,0.0,0.2445398707227769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14431355423762735,0.0,0.16984240531067482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1756237442866996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104296250099895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17776447306961554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13631946787028865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260915157135833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4762955619846265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008323349152621,0.20685824396937927,0.0,0.0,0.1733166611114448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1377677557306327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2079938267505317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473951913079055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1644670971654099,0.0,0.0,0.2331633549061951,0.0,0.1707289669826658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14608478236099387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711716933422852,0.13224717324029442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140126104466025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24346980219445136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22382249633063972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13290919212050686
divorce,loveswastingtime,2018/03/27,"Constant thoughts of moving on I'm not in love anymore, but I do love my spouse.  We have a great house, great kids, good jobs, we are financially stable.  ""On paper"" things are what many hope for.  But I just cannot offer up affection anymore and I constantly think about life without my spouse.  

I know - couples therapy.  Communication.  Spending time together.  Etc. I know they are all things that need/should be done (plus more).  But for now I just need to get this out.  

Has anyone in a seemingly normal/good marriage fallen out of love, and been able to fix it?

UGH, I hate this.",1.681116883116882,4.380571709090912,2.599740259740262,90.41818181818184,86.45454545454545,5.688311688311689,21.493506493506494,7.1686216300943375,0.7929870129870134,448,15,89,7,14,141,77,110,0.208,0.63,0.162,-0.7392,1,0,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,1,0,4,9,1,0,2,0,10,4,0,1,1,23,23,6,0,2,7,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,7,7,0,0,5,0,1,2,3,2,0,0,3,0,12,7,16,19,3,13,0,0,0,3,11,7,0,2,4,59,19,2,0.14680026063374693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2911728242838592,0.1026461555111873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31727785999410035,0.0,0.0,0.1624316962056588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15022763459018326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16372109550302272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0766970772238165,0.0,0.0,0.24625818745679195,0.0,0.3236956111983048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493486522399346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14580578229031874,0.0,0.16938779099106652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14567660702718138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135516817164766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10368936548509597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3974789000603826,0.0,0.0,0.1488324230706185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15602544482698186,0.0,0.21770106632115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438330867744966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13364144384876034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16787889180426407,0.0,0.19505514033089094,0.09406367947937924,0.0,0.11654300919495975,0.08560041251196186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14151021267141498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,50026897,2018/03/27,"I grew up thinking divorce meant failure Hi, I'm 28 and finished sending off last of the documents including the final decree to the court today.

I feel sad, tired and angry when I think about him still. When we were first dating, he was adamant that he didn't want any more children after his daughter with an ex. I dreamt of having a kid of my own since I was little. It was soul crushing to hear it since I was falling in love with him. 

Being naive, I thought loving a partner >> desire to have a kid. Stupid me. But I was committed. I had my moments of sadness where I would cry, but they were becoming fewer and less frequent. Days and months into our marriage, I was well on my way to killing my dream at my own pace. 

Then we had a talk about children and where we stood. He said he was unsure. I said that I knew it would never happen and dismissed the talk as therapeutic (finally airing out the rest of our thoughts and feelings about the topic). 

Then some time later, he said he totally wants to have a kid with me. He was pushing for it. I was taken aback. What happened? There were some recent background custody issues with his daughter that was hard on him. Was that it? Why did he change his mind after being so adamant about it in the beginning? I committed to being child-free and suffered through the sadness to get to the point where I was really beginning to accept it as my reality and choice. Now he turns around and wants a kid with me? How can I even trust that this is for real? If he was going to change his mind... why did I have to suffer for so long? Also, can we go back and address the fact that whether you commit to being child-free or not, changing your mind in a marriage of all things about that is so fucked up? Turn the story around-he initially wanted kids but after a while of marriage, he doesn't want them anymore. How screwed up is that? 

As you can probably read from my rant, I still have a lot of anger left over. There were many other issues that could be rants of their own, but this is what sits on my heart today. ",3.4359466019417475,4.9067854466019405,4.009405339805826,89.24891383495148,73.1747572815534,6.5092233009708735,25.010922330097088,6.9077264865688965,0.8821417475728155,1612,50,331,14,32,509,208,412,0.156,0.782,0.062,-0.991,0,0,0,0,1,0,53.0,6,3,3,1,26,15,5,0,21,0,43,6,1,2,7,65,75,32,1,10,8,3,3,0,1,2,1,4,1,8,22,23,0,0,9,2,0,6,4,10,1,1,31,7,49,5,57,36,11,61,1,5,0,4,55,22,2,5,31,246,71,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07563454931693434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06431675677345222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09379665274543776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16839018323513116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07272517951419076,0.0,0.0,0.10445473947013263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3001551602163129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07551339311306521,0.0,0.1038902568892598,0.060995434858468985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246833695961013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09564366131330128,0.0,0.0,0.2072126778068709,0.0,0.08044859081697164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08743648077347194,0.04941346526171072,0.0,0.10750250542823434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672712576985131,0.0,0.084723934798536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10659706457953283,0.11207621057739572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19743117338755514,0.0,0.0,0.104637314533995,0.0,0.0,0.07709426079218992,0.0,0.0,0.10276003033979003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479270047802793,0.0,0.08369917006964972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08040742548778454,0.17072193214595932,0.0,0.0,0.09588795340603314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2864925659349196,0.0,0.07549181310932426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07294492123240848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08940743860615995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10197183119593843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946042907086712,0.10765126238106187,0.06058953472070293,0.0,0.09338505260665912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2698979956549003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564729499734767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15106133818710313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203754713009948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06283388330908668,0.12120441942733287,0.0,0.1501698407501275,0.05514959843521215,0.1087042983892971,0.17929909072456918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20574892538893605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2789248278434541,0.07507216690274206,0.0,0.0,0.08503760648165246,0.0,0.17068512539793135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13437198461209726,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,HollyMcClane,2018/03/27,"Small business owner wife asking for money I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible.  I own a company that has turned into a 2 million dollar (sales not profit) over the last two years.  Took me 8 years to get here.  

Wife and I have been married for 3 years.  Last April I stumbled on an affair she was having with another woman.  She left me and we have been separated for 8 months.   

We have no kids, house, cars or any assets to speak of.  I went to file the divorce paperwork last week and now she is asking for $40,000.  

Full disclosure I have $10,000 in my personal account right now and $200,000 in my company’s account.  We have always had separate bank accounts.  She has her own business as well that is not profitable and she’s a bit desperate for cash.  Over the last 8 months I have paid for $1200 a month in her monthly bills, just being a dumb nice guy.  Now she wants “alimony”. 

My company is growing fast, do I cut my losses and just pay her to avoid lawyers and courts?  Any advice would be so so much appreciated.  ",2.272289979757087,4.252665879807694,3.713127530364375,87.93976720647774,77.70192307692307,6.878947368421053,23.92813765182186,7.85451343220497,1.2229480769230765,805,27,167,13,19,265,126,208,0.092,0.848,0.06,-0.6667,0,1,0,0,1,0,28.0,3,0,0,1,9,8,2,1,9,0,20,0,0,0,0,21,31,13,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,4,3,12,0,2,0,0,13,5,3,4,1,2,7,1,25,4,24,21,5,34,0,1,0,0,24,12,1,1,17,107,28,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395710215097412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884531944490365,0.0,0.0,0.1942574802429005,0.14976884858168762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2670520052814459,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15593247196643925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07462235141629635,0.0,0.0811731144103157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414233436263373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1648056969378284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12695313765792593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656993789482088,0.0,0.0,0.1551843218230433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4560195547558594,0.0,0.10499588132816752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12471293066952716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610184398058622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12197533918925388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15868847418398474,0.09697163756672414,0.1553571332488146,0.13952335482503464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08424435085386521,0.0,0.1145689527549196,0.0,0.128420585782955,0.13240408066823808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10146175139834693,0.0,0.0,0.2759319269605649
divorce,guytoronto,2018/03/27,"[Ontario, Canada] Facing criminal charges on a false allegation, I was saved by a crank phone call from my son, and an emotionally distraught daughter. In late August, 2017, around 10pm, I heard a knock on my apartment door. It was two police officers. I quickly threw on some clothes, only to be escorted outside to their cruiser, put in handcuffs, and driven down to the station. I was arrested on false allegations of uttering death threats to my ex-wife.

Last week I faced trial. In a 'he said'/'she said' warring ex-spouses situation, without supporting evidence, things often look bleak for men. Especially in this day and age, women and mothers are often given the benefit of the doubt. One would think when it comes to the serious ramifications of a criminal conviction in an ongoing family law dispute, judges would be mindful of how common false allegations are. Unfortunately, reality is a different beast.

I had to go way, way beyond a reasonable doubt to defend myself. I needed a miracle. And for my case, I actually got a few of them.

Being a 'computer/techie guy', I like to do things the techie way, like using a Voice over IP (VoIP) home phone service. I don't use one of those pre-packaged solutions for regular consumers. I found a decent VoIP provider and set up my own home phone system.

The VoIP service that I use gives me very detailed phone logs, going way back. This was very critical in my defence. The fact that I had opted for this particular VoIP service years ago was the first of many pieces required to save me from a conviction.

In late July 2017, I was sitting at work, when I received a call from my home phone number on my cell phone. It was my son. He was at home with my daughter and the babysitter (summer vacation!). My son had some friends over to the house, and being the goofs that kids can be, decided to make some prank phone calls. Around lunchtime, I received one of those prank phone calls. I called my son back using my office (important!) phone to tell him to cut it out. He hung up on me...twice! Kids! My decision to call him back using my desk phone at work was another piece of the final solution.

What I didn't know at the time was that less than 10 minutes after prank calling me, he also prank called his mother. This prank call was part of the problem and the solution. It seems that during that prank phone call to his mother, he said something that caused my ex-wife to think...  
1 - the person calling was me  
2 - I was calling to threaten her

Again, I didn't know this at the time. I wouldn't discover this until late September, 2017. What is important is that less than 10 minutes passed between the prank phone calls my son made to me, and then my ex wife. Under 10 minutes was another critical piece of the final solution.

A month after the prank phone calls, we are in late August 2017, and I'm being arrested because of false allegations. I later learn that on the evening I was arrested, my ex-wife went to the police and gave a statement that I had made a death threat against her that very evening. During her statement, she referenced the late July phone call. In her mind, things were escalating, and she was scared. Two threats only a month apart! 

A month passes after my arrest. I'm trying to maintain some sense of sanity in my life, but it was hard. My two children were forced to change schools because of an extremely biased, and somewhat senior and senile judge. That really pissed me off. In late September, I had enough. My daughter was crying at bedtime. My daughter was crying in the morning. She hates her new school. She doesn't want to go. I am not going to drive my crying daughter to a school she didn't want to go to. So I messaged my ex and her lawyer, telling them that I wasn't going to do it. I would home school her until there was a plan in place to transition our children properly into their new school. Well, my ex and her lawyer crank things to 11, and go to court on an emergency motion that same day. Part of that motion was an affidavit from my ex providing very specific details regarding the late July phone call. Date and time specifics. This was yet another critical piece of the solution.

So here we are, late March 2018, and I'm on trial for false allegations of something I apparently said in late August 2017.

My ex-wife takes the stand:  

* her testimony - he called me - very specific about date and time late July - threatened me.
* I produce VoIP phone logs showing the calls
* impossible for me to call home phone from work, get home in less than 10 minutes, and make call to her
* her testimony - well, maybe it was a different day, but absolutely it was him, 100%
* I produce her affidavit from late Sept where she is absolute sure about the date & time in late July
* her testimony - well, maybe he figured our a way to make it look like he was at work making phone calls when he was really at home
* her testimony - it doesn't matter what the phone log and her affidavit says - she is 100% sure, absolutely, no doubt - the voice she heard on the phone in late July making a threat against her is the same voice she heard whisper over her shoulder in late August and threaten her again

After I took the stand and gave my testimony, the judge really had no choice but to acquit. Not guilty!

What saved me?  

* using a VoIP service for home with detailed records
* a son who prank called me almost immediately before he prank called his mother
* me calling my son back from my office desk phone
* a very sad daughter that hated her new school
* me taking serious issue with the new school
* ex and her lawyer taking immediate court action, and ex providing explicit detail in her affidavit

If any of those things had not happened, I cringe at the thought I may have been found guilty.",4.5328829521429945,6.370121260789716,5.005972302304227,81.72606909475304,71.01101928374655,8.260708565571145,27.997960578298844,8.874963921927,2.2307218186089224,4539,167,848,87,86,1445,376,1089,0.113,0.8370000000000001,0.05,-0.9966,3,0,2,0,0,0,167.0,4,0,4,10,30,33,10,5,69,0,69,5,4,18,4,112,129,41,3,9,8,24,1,3,1,5,1,11,10,8,47,37,0,2,15,1,0,21,14,19,3,7,59,14,125,14,136,59,19,153,0,1,2,0,149,55,1,14,70,534,172,25,0.0,0.0,0.027012115734136418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024537039232554236,0.0,0.02771796145462384,0.0,0.0,0.022136037249121138,0.0,0.02999174433763018,0.0,0.018823647877029615,0.08707606209422826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049282919011783215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08513819661590599,0.0,0.033747477664395745,0.0,0.02355401502144748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6783557594244074,0.0,0.0,0.028435436013981026,0.029282234406847556,0.0238442474004218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09121698815252352,0.05355478006733254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057840335021977426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03113676844505009,0.0,0.02860129316925005,0.0,0.036565338097915415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026094654607160185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06064513632787717,0.0,0.02354496746588098,0.0,0.06070034575671609,0.021385838682439828,0.0,0.014461887028081747,0.026553599575438142,0.11012002056051838,0.0,0.022138575906034796,0.0,0.0,0.02740798674713197,0.024477720992333588,0.0,0.0247962365549866,0.05465740607515024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24989163722719265,0.0,0.0,0.03193951042098433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02889118694904492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030424890986209388,0.022563252428970074,0.4371463757228701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.01955151283383311,0.040569793239880914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046489194907744086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05238380176311338,0.09238454063059684,0.02806362075939154,0.05561744341474576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05589870562598182,0.0,0.0662827875124606,0.0,0.0,0.020524694949208253,0.0,0.10693576277247398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627094598672845,0.042104442720909886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05995043648734201,0.0,0.0,0.024169491848655668,0.02892016751098872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026486442015213392,0.0,0.02782648681169573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05319839450080938,0.028460101695943176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532174584650818,0.022012596284745983,0.02771294855783841,0.19609857600053035,0.0,0.02519923226761952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.031113973456026955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04261950892161475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03141143440669236,0.05217697277370766,0.0,0.06243673627649093,0.0,0.04838784789819255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09194826927629073,0.03547301553895596,0.0,0.02197517681112924,0.08070343356713816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030753986476581018,0.018793201243344798,0.0,0.08111930099878759,0.0,0.0,0.14344207230585146,0.0,0.13703556775404138,0.032653280463006584,0.10985722119978744,0.02220357868950033,0.0,0.07466411745640568,0.025660044481832248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.026682955635998228,0.0,0.08060675771862583,0.0,0.0,0.058990169508666826,0.0,0.0,0.01782529532330413
divorce,TalesFromAdatingDad,2018/03/28,"Struggling with an apology I'm Mid 30's, was married for 13 years, 12 year old daughter. Our final court date is set for next week, we've agreed on everything and it's been civil, everything is 50/50 including custody. We've basically grown apart and her alcoholism took it's toll on our marriage. I was doing pretty well mentally, some days sprinkled here and there where I'd still break down randomly or a song would really hit me in the feels until the text conversation I had with my STBX. 

Yesterday afternoon I get a text asking if I put our daughter in some self defense classes. It's not a big deal getting text messages about that because we've been doing great co-parenting and communicating about our daughter. I had just forgotten to let her know that I had been taking her with me once a week for boxing lessons. I apologize and let her know it's just a once a week deal so she's not burnt out on it, everything is good. I ask her how she's doing to be polite but I genuinely still care. Despite our relationship being over, we still are on friendly terms and consider each other at least that much. It's just basic convo, sort of small talk, but then she hits me with:
""I fucked up big time. The worst is how I treated you. I ruined our marriage and I realize that now. You did everything you could to save it."" 

That hit me fucking hard. I almost vomited but luckily, I was at work and somehow kept my composure. I replied back saying I didn't mean to imply anything and didn't mean for anything to be brought up and said she didn't have to apologize. I admitted my share of the fault again. She goes on to say that she really needs to apologize about a lifetime of things. I apologize as well letting her know she doesn't need to say these things. She just says that she needs to say she's sorry and say that she misses her best friend, which was/is me. We chat a bit about movies and shows and she throws in a bit about how she's in recovery and has been sober almost 2 weeks. I congratulate her and tell her that I'm happy she's taking care of herself. Part of me has huge doubts because she's tried to quit drinking before and has had tons of ""resets"" to sobriety. I squash that so I can just reply that I'm happy about it and hope she continues to take care of her health. I apologize again about how things went but added that I'm happy that we have our daughter. She agreed and apologized again. That was the end of that last interaction and my mind is fucking torn. Up until this point everything was my fault. She never admitted to having a drinking problem but still managed to blame me for why she drank. Why couldn't that realization have been there years ago? Why am I feeling guilty now? Why the fuck am I feeling any of these awful feelings??? Part of me wanted to just say screw this whole thing and run back to her. I know that is an irrational feeling and it wouldn't be healthy to drop it all just over one text. I guess I just need to vent about it. Trying so hard not to break down at work while things in my career are progressing wonderfully. I recently started dating some just to take my mind off of it all and it helped a lot. But that text last night really fucked with me. Should I feel closure? Shouldn't I feel better or at least NOT feel guilty or sad? Fuck",3.4483013141695515,5.115986775417301,4.174875025052256,87.27704727002035,73.50682852807283,7.704996134795432,25.02880293182925,8.393068210462019,1.4842771552094367,2611,83,539,45,53,833,278,659,0.126,0.726,0.14800000000000002,0.87,1,0,3,0,2,0,62.0,10,3,0,7,42,35,8,2,19,1,53,13,0,4,3,110,109,44,0,14,23,4,10,0,2,4,3,9,0,1,42,32,4,2,19,5,0,7,12,17,2,1,24,19,91,18,76,69,19,83,0,3,0,7,83,31,7,17,41,371,133,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05094891895576018,0.06142425937481985,0.11510762634286326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03908558408571757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09459553966268568,0.0,0.10746441881811564,0.0,0.0,0.08839084125660071,0.0,0.07007355240331667,0.0,0.04890775904284046,0.0,0.06031741284828152,0.05083276432022616,0.12549759704732502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17580153704039753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045889830647319406,0.0,0.0,0.03706720173100597,0.11851026177975732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11260900471493505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050906589150935724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2582781718827384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324923428396481,0.0,0.0,0.06296204090774489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08881147814989783,0.31881326977992724,0.06005757281127321,0.0,0.0,0.048208059416656165,0.0,0.06336738452725227,0.06331618560825222,0.0,0.0,0.18355249834532333,0.1029742370034398,0.0,0.0,0.06109419580818285,0.0,0.0,0.03852488536660837,0.0,0.0,0.05708653903884533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12634900978905586,0.09370106217679043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17631901078595852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04886395626397787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252162131691198,0.0,0.0,0.05792219043290092,0.0,0.11606855234968695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04225140100833874,0.17047061133138292,0.04432895866465986,0.0,0.06112627350325109,0.053937240217042326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06031129034228649,0.12241991899079872,0.0389471584770247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244816011013926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054333304955639865,0.0,0.0,0.05847365498416046,0.0,0.05499667563269712,0.0,0.05777915615473522,0.0,0.061132696301944775,0.0,0.0,0.11046160314249742,0.0,0.05675051898004493,0.06170760866542215,0.0,0.0,0.054672744361650615,0.3199500075952932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059959900496989585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06433956632694199,0.04068173904704959,0.0,0.18360131735529733,0.0,0.0,0.0600862918085069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1728589004437363,0.0461969526345318,0.050236471434944835,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19092217586157767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033514660487712615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385784159659443,0.07804472886819387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033900775969380265,0.0,0.1844148057893351,0.0,0.1033554764054495,0.0532807366983201,0.207452245902915,0.06416979166045247,0.0,0.0,0.06233016363115423,0.08368628193829063,0.0,0.0,0.04082923150043477,0.0,0.0,0.11103778881169124
divorce,lotusflower1573,2018/03/28,"Separating but living together So, my husband and I have decided to end our 14 year marriage.  It's been a long time coming,  we've always tried to work it out for the kids (ages 6 & 10) sake but after yet another blow up fight on Saturday we've decided we're done.  Neither of us is happy in the marriage, we aren't good for each other, we don't have sex, don't touch each other, there's no intimacy at all. We love each other and want the best for each other but we are finally at the end point. 
That all being said, we just can't afford two places right now. We will have to sell our house eventually but in the meantime it looks like we'll be living together for the foreseeable future. I'm wondering if any of you have done this and how did it work? I've read a bunch of articles about it but I want to hear from people who have or are living it. I know it's not ideal and I cannot wait until the day I have my own place and can just breathe again but we need to make this work in the meantime. ",2.962112676056336,3.7026433333333344,4.62875117370892,87.16847887323944,73.41314553990611,8.121314553990612,23.58967136150235,8.447377352677275,1.180742347417841,782,20,177,13,15,265,123,213,0.06,0.835,0.105,0.8963,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,11,1,0,5,9,7,1,0,10,0,23,3,1,2,2,42,36,16,0,5,11,1,1,1,0,2,0,2,0,1,15,18,0,1,4,1,1,1,8,1,0,1,5,4,19,6,24,27,10,28,0,0,1,2,21,12,0,3,16,124,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11906428079200647,0.15504047891802333,0.0,0.09730769070931293,0.15004478362896298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016657141299475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12326137135554605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228271460879764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2928662667591988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25347466325700563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567506523541177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001905677357715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232444523738606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16127545465581286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510933596694854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07863980194729947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0699076841803252,0.0,0.37905944480198855,0.12663220849975226,0.1201615178141969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12914641381149694,0.0,0.09551524087925783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10610114899449102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0992022040712084,0.0,0.2990020567538247,0.0,0.1352685026336896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431310520286234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12220006730397433,0.13611357289443354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08343828788163543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715029870787427,0.0,0.13978041351163234,0.0,0.1721224535484209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16879912632747854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15517752712047955,0.3125187596635878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09214676854632876
divorce,b_dills,2018/03/28,"How do I get over the happy memories and wanting her to stay? Wife filed for divorce. The straw that broke the camel's back was her going on vacation with her sister, hanging out with strange men, and losing her wedding ring. I reacted with anger and she ended the relationship. We've been together for 6 years. I love her. I've been going to counseling and I know it was a horrible relationship. No boundaries, no compromise, I was responsible for everything financially and domestically (which she calls ""controlling""). She would go out with friends and not come home til 2am and not return phone calls, caught her at a bar without her rings on, caught her flirt texting with a client, so I became insecure, and she blames our poor relationship on my insecurity.

She has ""devalued"" me mightily. Tells me I was horrible, controlling, abusive, etc. Told me she hates me.

All I can think about is losing her. She's still in the house for another 2 weeks and I miss her like crazy. I have to restrain myself from touching her. She still looks sexy when she walks around the house. Despite knowing everything I would take her back in a second.

I can't get over those feelings, I still want her. It's pathetic, I should tell her to hit the road. I just want the girl back who loved me.",3.766733308185594,6.115583962655606,4.448247831007169,82.68211146737082,74.51867219917013,8.365220671444737,27.137118068653336,9.095868883498916,2.363736929460581,1009,39,193,24,22,322,140,241,0.195,0.7070000000000001,0.098,-0.9741,0,0,0,0,1,0,39.0,1,0,0,4,12,14,2,2,12,0,15,3,0,4,1,38,38,13,0,6,4,2,2,1,1,3,0,2,1,2,6,18,1,3,4,1,1,8,6,8,0,1,9,5,46,6,28,25,2,33,0,4,1,2,43,12,0,0,13,133,52,0,0.0,0.13514725484447165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960610847784643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154119310740467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2631246556639105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329443092536953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09825608459629087,0.0,0.0,0.2558650764487244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102689789227344,0.0,0.12721157426630975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20502683785186052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0576742141158676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08812560696326555,0.0,0.11918752321183057,0.0,0.19447569543841636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12142330896316338,0.0,0.11261464085963944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144155487017726,0.0,0.0,0.26322921291555096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12537324463933536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05572593631900852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578507954056782,0.2552170051286929,0.0,0.0,0.2058945283704096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3673863276127613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12157710732951907,0.2732751081546322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0857619749042792,0.0,0.19939402559768604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07308764158393066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899309391972424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20183380714269256,0.0,0.0914953057405936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1099536799053402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16205566590149745,0.0,0.0,0.07345351253189297
divorce,Misfitcandy,2018/03/28,"I Told Him It's Over and I Feel Sick Last night I told him that I am going to file for divorce. I said this is not a threat, this is what I am doing. He wanted to discuss it and try to fix it. He said we haven’t given fixing it a try yet. However, we have been to marriage counseling and we have discussed our problems many times and nothing has changed. He also got mad and listed off things he believes he had done for me over the years. I just listened. I didn’t interject. I stood my ground. It was hard but also relieving at the same time. 
This morning I just feel sick with anxiety. I started the process. I will be filing the paperwork. Uncertainty about the future is scary. I have been thinking and planning this for a long time and that doubt still lingers. When I think about that doubt I also think about all the reasons why I want to leave. It is for the best. For all of us. ",0.7599267399267404,3.0770218791208848,2.1185714285714283,95.30976190476194,85.7032967032967,5.005128205128205,21.30402930402931,6.42735559955562,0.2443413919413921,690,23,151,7,21,221,104,182,0.156,0.778,0.066,-0.9275,1,0,0,0,1,0,20.0,5,0,0,2,11,7,2,2,10,0,20,2,0,1,2,29,37,12,0,3,4,0,3,0,0,1,2,3,0,0,15,11,0,0,6,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,13,6,25,2,19,22,4,18,0,0,0,0,21,5,0,2,12,110,40,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.367768731463256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11726989289627045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17271043660263538,0.16087314764230548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16216528250622328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687352294349033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550206367828897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712081186776623,0.0,0.12260363625967236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13732178529006733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12495549873569488,0.0,0.16231676917890325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566083171882942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15541658895845795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1438565283076786,0.0,0.14709023218842213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14668215861892586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1576123040186855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916363968668602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850265459036862,0.0,0.12242120657808538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018420715849548,0.29467482772816883,0.0,0.0,0.2681618128275777,0.0,0.0,0.2929589780006105,0.0,0.20815384143708945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18439444026525084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808341664596515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13832446638507612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09871664886285138
divorce,psychoeval,2018/03/28,"Share or keep to myself? My STBX wanted us to undergo psychological evaluations. They are non-binding on the courts but it matters to him. He's making a bunch of he-said, she-said type allegations. 

I've taken the high road so far. He made some unfortunate decisions in our marriage, but he's trying his best and as I read here over and over again, being a shitty husband doesn't make someone a shitty father.

The psych eval documents talk about what a difficult process this can be. That the evaluator isn't your personal psychiatrist. That they're here to decide if there is something wrong with you and report it to the court and you might feel very strongly that they come to incorrect conclusions. There is no confidentiality in the evaluation. The evaluator will share what you say with the other side.

I know my ex feels like I'm to blame in this. I know he's decided I'm mentally ill. I've seen the allegations he's making against me and while it's possible he believes them, they're not true and in some cases I believe I can direct the evaluator to talk to witnesses and people who know me to confirm that. I know the unkind things he did that finally made me divorce him and...is there any point in describing those things to the evaluator?

If I can make a defense of myself without bringing his actions into the discussion (and if the evaluator decides he has issues, she decides that solely on his testimony) is that the way to go in the hopes that it leads to a quicker emotional detox after the divorce and a low conflict co-parenting situation? Even without me saying any of the negative stuff he's done I imagine he'll still find things to take issue with as I focus on defending myself.

Edit: I appreciate you guys think agreeing to do this is a bad idea. But given that it is agreed to what is the right way to handle this for the kids and myself?",5.290333333333333,6.513239588888888,6.414888888888887,74.719,68.3888888888889,9.537777777777778,30.788888888888888,9.791249743138472,3.006068888888889,1492,59,273,34,25,500,190,360,0.14,0.7709999999999999,0.08900000000000001,-0.9756,1,0,1,0,2,0,34.0,2,5,3,4,10,13,1,0,28,0,20,2,0,7,1,58,46,21,0,5,10,3,2,1,0,3,2,2,0,3,28,15,0,3,16,1,0,5,7,6,0,0,7,5,36,7,43,34,4,31,0,1,1,0,43,19,0,8,6,189,64,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1547474139125709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09500081719083367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25638022347638817,0.11940417254221372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09801064188014001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11643554860067633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1279862018760409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07515003928112303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11506028901221248,0.08128382995333862,0.0,0.1246394704472554,0.10399205937572092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0646632990323917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11265922252095302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12021389294201112,0.0,0.11300834427991065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1284427833866896,0.0,0.237511692443262,0.0,0.10113211453214367,0.0,0.0,0.2501201270574737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558673348768885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21532111912384916,0.30379379898051195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11466259731446865,0.12070167173295568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07888011945687558,0.09934754367469148,0.0,0.0,0.10755805021064943,0.1282688683135268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11380991569402897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09716675145298832,0.21646000691493056,0.180963454629998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12789250416068468,0.0,0.0,0.09640468376385644,0.08759272951407815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09086415655630302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13024987721932124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08554774234912033,0.1829027023149341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267693856769275,0.07290506938658403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772485575204309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686227865828682,0.0,0.0,0.09387969440758713,0.06710987610401363,0.18062514759462228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2193580334263117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1243996123297313,0.0,0.0
divorce,cinderella_rising,2018/03/28,"Is he giving in to her too much? My brother is divorcing his wife of 11 years & multiple children.
He is trying to make things easier on her by giving in to her requests as much as possible in hopes for things to remain amicable and avoid as much legal bs as possible.

She is refusing to allow the children to his new place and has him come over to the marital home multiple times per day to watch the children & participate in family activities and routines as though nothing has changed.
He even moved his 1/2 of the assets back into their joint account at her request “in order for her to have peace of mind.”

He has no one but me looking out for his interests and I’m concerned about him. 
I want to err on the side of caution and not overstep my bounds, but I feel he’s being taken advantage of.  She’s dragging her feet about signing anything, saying she needs more time. 

My gut tells me he needs to set clearer boundaries with her and make her see the reality that they are no longer a family unit and he can’t be at her beck and call anymore or else she has no incentive to move forward.

Any input is appreciated.",6.033326403326397,6.091954792792798,6.856486486486489,76.320841995842,66.38738738738739,10.074012474012477,33.29313929313929,9.851270322608157,3.1336399168399165,892,36,171,18,13,297,133,222,0.045,0.8370000000000001,0.118,0.9186,0,1,0,0,0,0,17.0,0,0,2,1,6,4,0,1,7,0,14,2,2,3,0,29,28,17,0,4,4,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,3,3,12,0,3,1,0,1,4,5,1,0,1,1,5,28,3,41,25,4,26,0,0,3,0,42,15,0,2,7,117,31,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997312593749173,0.0,0.09405981227195744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371725813235577,0.0,0.0,0.11382251168261352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1063566802138991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14123638477225187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14632028229621566,0.11914722634535894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0892025568459965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11554550211416108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913565972870638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2607845545863845,0.0,0.06993686621839375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2653711552114485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13874250469688626,0.13737927348031295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161508378785843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18465437954029976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396600114859073,0.0,0.0,0.29401662839535603,0.3050351381488309,0.20511953543473987,0.0,0.1335867234295701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13271819938401358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0937266897903098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14451107164391,0.0,0.0,0.311861642630699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999465606707476,0.0,0.0,0.1102201658900954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1208945237203998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1837823784923894,0.0,0.13589504110282766,0.0,0.16130666830610646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09390767360747457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08158252455842896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08907114831064099
divorce,esquared95,2018/03/28,"Mediation tomorrow. My not soon enough xh (22) and I (22) have mediation in the morning. We have two children. Basically, there is nothing to figure out but custody. We don't own anything together or have any dept.

Without going into all the details, this man was emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive. For a long time, I was programmed into believing it was all okay. On top of that he sexually assaulted women at his place of work. This is just the icing on the cake for all the horrendous things he has done. Obviously, he's been fired but somehow he has avoided going to jail. And yet he filed for emergency custody? He seriously thinks he's going to get full custody of our children? What? 

Now, I'm starting to panic a little. I don't want to see this man ever again, let alone have to coparent with him. And I'm afraid he's going to try and bully me into giving him what he wants at mediation tomorrow... I feel sick.",2.8307365792759067,5.321219539325849,5.104868913857679,76.07642946317104,78.3258426966292,8.000499375780276,28.428214731585523,8.841846274778883,2.7515121098626727,730,33,130,18,18,254,110,178,0.222,0.735,0.043,-0.9915,1,2,0,0,0,0,31.0,3,0,0,2,8,6,1,3,7,1,16,1,0,0,5,30,30,8,0,2,6,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,8,12,0,1,3,0,0,4,4,5,0,1,5,3,12,1,24,24,6,27,0,0,1,0,21,13,0,2,10,91,20,3,0.0,0.22187476684757326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394688519395514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12734453451365646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541006134000016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2109800699839395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19163397128914272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21064446752284366,0.0,0.19349163291411475,0.0,0.0,0.1693891374687711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09468525886671827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09783662995669938,0.17963870763448378,0.42570108318835614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19148801175393806,0.0,0.0,0.18768565026042425,0.0,0.1657209160785674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17968287320393286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21971152810250227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19564886114545085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14922351406262374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.132544958539986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12440850601135753,0.11998988403083324,0.0,0.0,0.1091939378424321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12713855890152054,0.0,0.1829276962901108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209038772967961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18051381895329716,0.0,0.13632891599161814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,shera07,2018/03/28,"Making big changes soon after divorce? Have any of you relocated soon after your divorce? I have a job offer in a city where I know no one, but it’s a great job with a much higher salary. The problem is, this divorce has been so emotionally taxing that I don’t know if I have the mental strength to go through another big change. My therapist said it gets much easier once the divorce is final (should be in about 1-2 months), but I’m having trouble seeing an end to this pain. The job starts in August. What would you do?",4.416571428571427,5.130130276190479,5.319047619047621,83.64428571428573,70.04761904761905,7.904761904761906,27.380952380952376,7.957251820313856,1.5753809523809532,409,13,83,5,7,134,74,105,0.127,0.753,0.12,0.2909,4,0,0,0,4,0,13.0,0,3,0,1,5,5,0,0,9,0,13,1,0,1,0,10,22,4,0,4,3,0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,6,1,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,3,0,1,2,2,8,2,11,17,2,16,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,1,9,58,14,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11844154906045977,0.1826323949516464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3684974587025485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19591776851440584,0.15426289301953844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1907946838089176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0909966183565088,0.0,0.09898480512357097,0.0,0.0,0.1920230018018364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5185104475796308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19143851616559807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11625980440145756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552235997810292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13902080475770792,0.0,0.2560699297432766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854853289300666,0.11802207615486718,0.0,0.1853291231529654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16665713478470334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567552168029814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1387909126160972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123278398005741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2022247540566043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1237253462876282,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Secretaccountdivorce,2018/03/28,"STBX opened loan using my name So we filed for divorce about a month and a half ago. She's a stay at home mom. All we have is a joint checking account. Yesterday she applied for a loan at the bank using my ssn and I received the notification from credit karma that someone looked at my credit report. I have been kicked out of the house and we don't really talk much besides about our daughter.

Is she allowed to open a loan in my name and will I be responsible for it?

I never signed any paperwork.",2.554774477447744,4.499946237623764,3.974785478547856,86.55335533553357,76.72277227722772,6.469086908690867,24.093509350935093,7.3871296695380915,1.0385832783278324,394,13,80,5,9,130,69,101,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.7579,1,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,4,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,9,0,8,0,0,3,2,18,11,5,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,10,0,0,0,0,8,1,2,0,0,1,1,1,15,2,13,8,2,13,1,0,1,0,14,7,0,0,4,56,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24279923314304824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18626400790173075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747478903790176,0.0,0.0,0.31604826334917724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23001024626602776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3207928741233544,0.21862743675090324,0.0,0.20135084265383107,0.0,0.21125153173819108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546981751165555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2320778399372798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29194505586154884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2201535361908188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.47312995978889005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,twomatchingsocks,2018/03/28,"Reluctant Filer My husband and I have been together for 12 years. We have a 9 year old son. My husband can be verbally abusive when he drinks. Three years ago, told him I would divorce him if he didnt stop drinking. He did. Fast forward to a couple of months ago, and he started again, just social drinking with friends. I told him he could drink when he was out as long as he came home sober, since I think it's sometimes better to know you *can* do something occasionally. ""Never"" is a tough word, I thought. Trouble is, he brought those buzzes home instead of waiting until he was sober. We had talks about this and he said he would stop. Sunday, he went out at 10:00 a.m. for something that should have taken a few hours. He came home at 7:00 p.m. reeking of alcohol. I told him the next morning I was going to file for divorce. I thought that would get his attention - it worked last time. Since then, he has said: a) he drank very little when he was out and doesn't know what I smelled (he doesn't lie, that I know of), b) it really hurt him last time I threatened and now ""we're doing this"", and c) that I don't get to make rules for him anymore. 


I guess that's that. I asked him if he would quit drinking, and he used about a million words to say ""no"". I feel super terrible for our son, and of course I love him and am desperately sad for myself too. Our relationship has been good. But I won't stay with him if he drinks around me. I feel so surprised and sad to be in this position.",2.5454304635761567,4.1400789470198704,3.304643708609273,92.88572052980132,75.75496688741723,6.288953642384106,24.33165562913907,6.918507183188421,0.6666965298013241,1150,37,256,11,25,363,161,302,0.104,0.82,0.076,-0.8157,0,0,9,0,2,0,55.0,4,1,0,4,12,13,0,0,7,0,33,9,0,2,1,49,62,22,0,9,5,4,2,0,1,6,1,3,3,0,14,20,8,3,9,6,0,6,7,7,0,2,22,7,37,6,31,31,1,42,0,3,0,1,53,9,0,4,28,151,51,1,0.0,0.10595140674809392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15853585034119452,0.09556578815755423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08868339841220221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0796052592040457,0.0835982557036476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07908720814761735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045517431515376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07139683699671191,0.09894463787824556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5256018582276348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09042971869016714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908784080766366,0.0,0.09343945436144477,0.0,0.05082104339627277,0.07500360998390082,0.0,0.0,0.0985093062963832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2690951070983684,0.0,0.08806345451805206,0.0,0.09572896707129794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474333125012108,0.14578304971465092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08962514734802618,0.0,0.07913637244819972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08070757688598584,0.0,0.0596904197301056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137643341072586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0689683834385555,0.0,0.09510217239781814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09383419604929673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09511216518935664,0.0,0.0,0.05728654157658534,0.0,0.0,0.09600663186582033,0.0,0.0,0.17012313893033226,0.07111260729431426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14794294419963053,0.0,0.0,0.09115529301960262,0.0,0.13768409513418228,0.08844144514468663,0.0,0.06329392483069961,0.09531281685854733,0.0,0.14952294568415078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07187466701154964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05729852560179258,0.0,0.14198344425876416,0.10428631869362254,0.0,0.0,0.2563419798628849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772325961721993,0.0,0.07378318296328877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08289584030829054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510087034672933,0.0,0.0,0.2540935928520658,0.0,0.0,0.17275607245516672
divorce,klove02,2018/03/29,"My sisters husband just... Took her off the bank accounts and stole her wallet but swears he didn't. She was admitted to the hospital for calling 911 because he wouldn't let her sleep and was coming to the house at 1am/3am and 7am to loom over her and talk shit while she was trying to sleep. She finally called the cops which this is the 5th time. 

They've been having problems for years and they have 8 children at home from ages 16-3. Large family I don't know what they were thinking ... 

It's hard to help my sister navigate what to do, she is in Colorado and I am in Arizona. I got her a hotel for the night she got out of the hospital, she wasn't suicidal but she was at a breaking point... 

She has never had a job while they were married 15 years and now he's taking everything and making all the rules telling her to come and go at certain times and threatening to call the cops on the older children if they stick up for their mom when he is talking down to her.

It's so hard to help and I need to help her organize what to do. 

I planned to fly here her to get away and make plans but he took her wallet so she doesn't have an ID! No bank card , not even her own car but he will let her ""use"" one for a few hours at 5pm when everything is closed!!!! 

Please help me help her, he won't let her take the kids anywhere with her so she has to leave her kids if she comes here and then I doubt she can ever go back. We are trying to see if he can throw her out or if she can get a restraining order. 

Thank you in advance! ",1.954472934472936,3.2391802592592605,3.0730864197530856,95.22542735042737,76.65432098765432,6.4660968660968665,22.02943969610636,7.010146845296331,0.3301741690408355,1180,31,281,12,26,379,170,324,0.08,0.82,0.099,0.8611,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,1,1,5,3,12,5,1,1,17,0,34,3,3,3,4,47,56,30,1,7,11,4,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,7,21,0,1,3,1,3,10,9,3,0,1,14,3,46,2,40,36,3,48,0,0,1,0,65,18,1,6,18,188,53,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09797991764895213,0.08018932310970288,0.0,0.06357163994855222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194623056277478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694988808926069,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887977025347203,0.09433245315077672,0.0,0.0,0.1874506587592108,0.0,0.09831134662952117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142399680831288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10897002546602763,0.0,0.11853601738040613,0.0,0.16681372047629586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18683913956814666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3495027806624169,0.0,0.10460713436911258,0.0,0.10270048072346348,0.12033178164055855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10348753923980716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057312734139234135,0.0,0.0,0.11042357709961023,0.0,0.3199178087976976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13922312801414172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221382382291744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07732658009825209,0.08043161800344603,0.0,0.0,0.097865134485007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07066673947026636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11447446353654532,0.0985837646698597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09978740171658992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310226003660902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704784849144186,0.0,0.0,0.208722176086751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11407171060428105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15681984720374648,0.16764190990059036,0.09115036314890422,0.09601232955981093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06682211317117362,0.0,0.0,0.12161974704864505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2317306644027506,0.14160639023793434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09006942548205457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13431323875979426
divorce,smartporsha,2018/03/29,"My dad cheated on my mom Hi everyone, So my parents have been married for about 25 years ,and my mom has just realized that he’s been dishonest with her for about a year now and he has rented a house and has slept with couple of women and sending them money as well while he ‘s been telling her that he’s been working for straight days at different hospitals,(he’s a doctor )she became suspicious first for finding random texts on his phone when she told him about it he tried to deny it as much as possible but when he finally accepted the fact he started apologizing and saying he would stop,he’s sorry and stuff ,but I’m worried about my mom she’s been crying for days and hasn’t eaten much ,she’s collapsing in front of me and I don’t know what to do ,she doesn’t know how to trust him or she should get a divorce ....... I really need help I’m 17 and I don’t know how to deal with it .....",3.0496833976833986,4.271809416216218,4.361409266409268,87.32952702702705,73.75675675675676,7.8803088803088785,25.10617760617761,8.418075326091056,1.4452393822393823,702,22,152,12,14,232,105,185,0.11,0.815,0.075,-0.5473,3,0,0,0,1,0,21.0,0,0,1,2,12,4,1,0,5,0,16,3,1,2,1,29,27,21,0,3,4,5,0,0,0,2,1,1,1,1,7,12,1,0,6,0,2,2,4,1,1,1,8,1,21,3,25,17,2,18,0,0,0,0,36,5,0,2,11,98,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535210300617229,0.1641524112466763,0.19275239097213853,0.15406569181127616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15613260183449448,0.0,0.15295778879257654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279596606758355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637038049638076,0.13658511019614644,0.12711326893800698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07807603632561855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10016623078577057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17243326344681145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24638432964138776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.525065649050492,0.0,0.0,0.2197106386767679,0.11080758861654444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16593501890714776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16847072380824846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0957348505868004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11884038810507624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16728542571983346,0.10577413594811716,0.0,0.0,0.12493821821337893,0.0,0.0,0.1710726178501762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061681932938246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14279596606758355,0.0,0.10145969610334267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436417012125354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10879382703497267,0.15176319346310516,0.0,0.1061576221800514,0.0,0.0,0.19246843824388155
divorce,ButtGardener,2018/03/29,"Do I need a lawyer to divorce? So I contacted a lawyer and had a consultation last week, charged me $600 for his time.. he said it was cheap (lol). 

Anyway, me and my wife have agreed terms, so why do I need a lawyer? People are telling me to do it covering my ass, but if we agree terms and sign that agreement on the divorce decree I'm not sure why a lawyer wants thousands of dollars from me? 

People are telling me to do it to cover my ass but if the terms are in the divorce decree she can't come after more money after the fact right? 

Am I crazy? Should I just say the thousands of dollars and accept it.",2.350708661417322,3.6295674173228365,3.485834645669293,92.6909566929134,75.61417322834646,6.024881889763781,23.723622047244092,6.2581,0.4059990551181101,470,14,106,3,10,152,74,127,0.113,0.7929999999999999,0.094,-0.3406,1,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,10,1,13,2,2,0,2,20,19,10,0,6,6,1,0,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,4,1,2,0,0,2,3,2,16,3,12,15,4,12,0,0,0,2,14,3,2,2,8,72,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131848192174645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20173179757994425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3670112382882896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431473089795869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21134925703053686,0.2354131477804411,0.1968085333398943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23324993910020966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4326223609941183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14430941439514386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14597197335404435,0.0,0.19851605418328871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44663009688227145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TotesNotAThrowAway38,2018/03/29,"Question about possible divorce. I have been married a total of 3-4 months and I have been unfaithful to my wife via text. Nothing physical. I’m not going to justify what I have done because I know I’m a piece of shit. Regardless, she said that she can take half of everything even though we have been married for such a small period of time AND every asset I have (own home, car,etc) is in my name. 

Is she entitled to these things when I’m the one at fault? State is FL, just in case. 

If you have any other details you’d like cleared up, just ask. ",3.3887831858407083,4.271039238938052,4.642643805309736,86.93529314159296,72.53982300884954,8.481858407079647,27.39933628318584,8.841846274778883,1.8870539823008847,426,15,93,8,8,141,80,113,0.058,0.863,0.079,0.0516,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,1,2,0,0,7,3,1,0,4,0,15,1,1,0,2,13,23,5,0,2,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,5,3,0,0,2,0,0,1,1,2,0,2,5,1,13,1,13,17,3,11,0,0,0,0,12,5,1,2,5,64,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16672658661122028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292044004307231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494556685951719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2508979127672337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734335879662287,0.16193497799090428,0.0,0.20656949486597045,0.0,0.2203463962557512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13933791659720252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2459293046335319,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347411047871142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11977953105576394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956953824824246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352508667623716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16613610728804254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2763966135741821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27465075882441825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2332164213817325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516673752778886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18434018008499084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16288257389209526,0.0,0.2408820068123917,0.0,0.14296281033681973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,blackvolt2000,2018/03/29,"Just give me a break TL;DR Just had a I hate my life moment and needed to rant

Seriously WTF life! How come when you think something that’s good is happening literally takes a huge crap on your lap and you just have to deal with it! It’s fucked! I get treated like a second class citizen at home, step kids are allowed to do what ever when ever, I have to clean for them, transport them and because of her spoilt brat of a kid son who makes up stories I’m not allowed to parent them or tell them not do anything. I’m not supported at home, I live thousands of miles from my family and literally fuck what I want! Seriously fuck it! 

Then I make the mistake of opening up to someone else about my issues - big waste of time that was! I’m so alone it’s not funny! I hate it........... I hate everything right now",2.785608391608392,4.175875309090912,4.235151515151518,87.30503496503498,74.6969696969697,7.258741258741258,24.813519813519807,7.882392219407189,1.1992750582750582,626,20,135,9,13,208,104,165,0.263,0.674,0.063,-0.9892,3,1,1,0,0,1,25.0,0,3,4,0,11,14,7,0,6,0,8,6,1,5,2,26,28,10,0,3,8,2,0,1,0,0,2,0,3,3,10,7,0,0,1,0,0,3,4,10,0,2,2,0,20,4,20,26,0,22,0,0,0,3,17,10,4,1,9,86,30,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15239847288940778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12108829760269445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08969859675992581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1267529119588582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517006605018723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1229212740065502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2662032530038205,0.0,0.0,0.1322449842888458,0.0,0.1387157834119637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.408101230020552,0.07687750686553323,0.141155475056711,0.0,0.12341875454821433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301203750234478,0.0,0.0,0.4358274721654997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951980842897885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15358178491615648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20786658880627915,0.07188791136029928,0.0,0.1299322675216429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19644167162436765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10910660370993276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338778395543213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1256615450729389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467599598506178,0.11327987776992375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16697909197932978,0.0,0.0,0.11063518457024156,0.0,0.1286117469241182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09428496400026774,0.0,0.0,0.08580178722295988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0867902918928396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,shapesofmath,2018/03/29,"It's not contentious but stbx won't cooperate in filing jointly, I'm lost and broke and overwhelmed trying to DIY 31f with 3 young kids, living apart from my ex 31m since 2015. I ran  with the kids to my home state to live with family after ex's behavior made it impossible to stay. Multiple arrests, reckless spending, multiple car accidents, drug use, everything you can imagine.
No contact for several months while he continued going off the rails. 
Over the last couple of years he's been slowly getting himself together and getting stable. I'm happy for him but extremely cautious. We started with supervised visits in my home and the kids were very happy. That has progressed to visits at his apartment every Friday night and I'm ok with this. I've been in his place and have met his girlfriend. 

He doesn't pay child support and is not an involved co-parent otherwise. I am the one who arranges his parenting time, I provide transportation, he is not a part of our lives really and hasn't been for years.  He doesn't really seem to care to get more time with them or be more involved. 

His mental health is stable and as long as it continues to be, I will do my part in making an effort to foster his relationship with his children. He is just a regular apathetic and kind of lazy absent dad these days, and that's shitty but it doesn't make him a danger to them. 

Anyway he won't lift a finger when it comes to divorce. Forget filing together, forget paying fees, forget meeting with a mediator. We had a court date for temporary orders and while he actually showed up, he didn't bring any of the paperwork with him or his financial form, we got nothing done and were dismissed. We don't own any property and I'm going for sole custody and I don't see him fussing about that. 

Next court date is in June. I don't know what it's for. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. 

I've borrowed money from family to be able to file and to pay for 1 hour with a lawyer who just kept trying to convince me to change the filing type to an uncontested joint petition and pushing her meditation package on me. I got nowhere. 

How am I supposed to do this if he won't even do the bare minimum? 

I'm so lost and sad. I just want this to be over.",5.018908175125919,5.711161289887644,6.039426578845411,79.09370786516854,68.68539325842697,9.194110809763655,29.95156915924061,9.314750747691287,2.5504529252227823,1774,65,342,34,29,590,230,445,0.111,0.809,0.08,-0.9453,4,0,1,0,1,0,41.0,5,1,2,4,10,13,1,1,18,1,38,3,1,5,0,59,70,31,0,2,12,4,1,0,1,4,2,0,2,5,17,33,0,1,4,1,7,10,16,6,0,1,16,2,38,7,58,46,6,50,0,5,1,0,53,14,0,4,23,214,55,7,0.1100008944256104,0.0,0.10734500513960908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14960876060162753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1121532430422172,0.0,0.11636636070420645,0.09475603040282242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12171389743148744,0.0,0.0709414767575744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1125691064922065,0.0,0.0,0.12756611456106942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265455332497225,0.0,0.09268049785325087,0.0,0.09886171101112053,0.0,0.20739810687113408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17241278165368173,0.0,0.12503208654736242,0.0,0.17595552809021062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2341959951487653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1169258069007002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22067973206719932,0.0,0.1083287230164221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11454900415057707,0.12090722960879932,0.08966541058067634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29139841526286986,0.09734733004038723,0.0,0.0,0.2401579410121185,0.0,0.0,0.10408550601587004,0.14685290240007762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11085502909452892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08780166446077374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339743983091511,0.10322838775348718,0.0,0.10554882494190176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453945290831725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12214297553144884,0.2382404983080559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11492752217784352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14093877940585545,0.0,0.0,0.11809979392757194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876564709933999,0.10014068294041018,0.0,0.1242697001911772,0.0,0.090993876586743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0778591992459435,0.11724631737298022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12482771142460765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12828481228666713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936677333328105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950054544687696,0.0,0.09076225812674267,0.0648813775571253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14167393897820535
divorce,Dragmom,2018/03/29,"Anybody use post-divorce time to date totally different types of people? Still going through divorce and not dating yet, but thinking when I am ready it might be fun to try to date somebody of a totally different age, gender, race, etc.

Anybody else do that? Have to admit, the thought gives me something to look forward to when the time is right. ",6.80828125,7.614975765625001,6.321875000000002,78.23562500000001,64.78125,8.9,37.875,8.841846274778883,3.445356250000001,275,14,47,4,4,85,50,64,0.0,0.85,0.15,0.8823,2,0,1,0,2,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,3,0,6,0,0,1,2,10,13,4,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,3,0,0,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,9,10,3,13,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,1,11,32,4,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5168168452768456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2066134490916924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27583962477979296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2372625877444884,0.1405639991693978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20769588421774746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623792775669735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17146828590146804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2368748846423296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21121946103753808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904076120906628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751898554248265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584798218780526,0.0,0.19635331554724506,0.28844157920821045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16792162382095233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21361471269981144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,immaladee,2018/03/29,"CoParenting Advice Needed Things are nearing ""ugly"" in attempts to coparent. Please send advice. All the advice. 

We do not communicate well. We try. We fail. It ends up with yelling and insulting the other's parenting in one form or another. 

I don't want this turmoil for my kid. I don't want it for my life. This is why I'm divorced... But thanks to shared custody it's literally several times a week of fighting with him still. 

Help. ",1.435803212851404,4.149336746987951,3.314728915662652,83.61699297188756,91.16867469879514,6.622088353413655,24.98895582329317,7.793537801064563,2.0084546184738965,342,15,63,8,12,114,63,83,0.18,0.706,0.114,-0.6166,3,0,0,0,4,0,16.0,3,0,0,2,2,7,2,1,3,0,5,1,0,0,1,13,10,3,0,3,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,7,6,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,4,1,1,0,1,8,3,11,10,2,9,0,1,0,0,12,4,0,1,4,43,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6175514128500544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22089103941988852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1865785683423068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1411981843046177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879246562929774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15619865295012894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14274586435360567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339084060410712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23123687843012755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379811639960894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682300440339128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19394361582771344,0.0,0.0,0.1399503947570862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12283512756542553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14302150293076013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24850057140172715,0.0,0.16897542645845404,0.0,0.1894049192815678,0.0,0.19008415062537434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DesignKhaleesi,2018/03/29,"A slow fade I’ve been married for only 3.5 years but it’s been sexless and without passion for 2. We’ve been together exclusively for 8. 

I’ve tried to communicate my needs for physical touch and conversation and we even went to counseling in 2016. After a trip w a friend, I realized I’ve given my husband plenty of opportunity to come around. 

I really have been supportive and compassionate and patient but my life is on hold, due to no fault of my own. It’s starting to eat at me. I felt so bad and undesirable for such a long time. I finally spoke up and asked if he’d grant me an amicable divorce. It was a good conversation. Necessary. I thought he’d fight but he’s really not changed anything. I asked him where he was and why he doesn’t make love to me anymore. He’s an introvert so I gave him 5 days to think and respond. He came back and said I’m not attractive enough anymore. It really hurt. Not bc I’m a super model but bc he’s not even trying to look inside for the problem and he’s selfishly trying to blame me. I think he may be gay. I asked him why is he still married to me if I’m so disgusting to him...he said he didn’t want to fail. Wtf? We’ve already failed I told him.

I went away for a week w a friend and found myself again. I have about 30 extra pounds but I’m still hot and plenty of men would find me attractive. I’m just curvy now. Besides, it should be about a lot of factors, not just physical. My husband is no model either. 

I’m so pissed for the time I’ve wasted being compassionate to find out what a completely shallow man I’ve spent the last 8 years with.

Now-what are my next steps? He acts like I didn’t ask for a divorce. Should I go ahead and take 1/2 the money? Ask him to move out? ",0.4874077806893773,2.6922005950413244,2.8811086474501124,90.17580931263862,85.74931129476585,6.406477188738831,21.2503527514614,7.678348718463194,0.8966540213666594,1348,45,300,26,41,462,178,363,0.21,0.687,0.103,-0.9936,0,0,0,0,3,0,40.0,1,0,0,5,18,23,3,0,17,0,24,6,1,1,0,55,60,25,0,8,16,2,3,1,2,4,1,3,0,2,6,21,1,1,8,0,2,9,11,10,0,0,21,7,35,13,41,30,5,39,0,3,1,3,44,9,1,4,22,169,41,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550314276448015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076039869541928,0.0,0.0,0.0861323997931961,0.09317622852287943,0.4892497214029113,0.0,0.0983385223524414,0.08048281456312284,0.08739295557348242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.119711688368401,0.0,0.0,0.11072429228879918,0.09016174728638043,0.10974183846454044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06750185156921196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10710093992359132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10814946362047834,0.0,0.13826373790128466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004971738513249,0.11465808427330415,0.19132832103457348,0.0,0.0,0.11476246539482175,0.16173163702028434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059484928516150434,0.08779009796309653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204867870892056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08531794815313072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07392972105965068,0.05113523308337733,0.0,0.0,0.09262740674965876,0.08789430365382721,0.0,0.0,0.08898452995593806,0.09446646745010907,0.0,0.06986634105597203,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11124494358994494,0.0,0.07760959396469892,0.0,0.0,0.11131502914459493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07960431840195978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10015262177865153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20115796151898246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19912544257121897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07408416558281238,0.0,0.16717513452954028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1187753911171385,0.0,0.0,0.0786969024856952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13413336176224275,0.0,0.08309427028439205,0.12206487309462805,0.0,0.0,0.1000142416658222,0.0,0.21318700054771744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06173557864369466,0.0,0.08395792146581141,0.0,0.0,0.19405556460442644,0.1888922019560578,0.0,0.0,0.10089569456757168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07435275919741098,0.0,0.0,0.1348048227528805
divorce,toad_frog_cat,2018/03/29,"Record keeping? My stbxw and I are likely heading towards a legal separation or divorce in the next few months. Married 17 years. We have been separated since September last year and ta been hard but we do okay for the most part.

We are living together still in separate rooms and have bought a duplex together where our two daughters (11 & 13) will live with us, one kid in each house in their own room and a door connecting the duplexes.

I work full time and she works part time. Because of schedules I do a good amount of the kid pick ups, drop offs, appointments and such. She has been saying that she should get child support considering she does more of the kid responsibilities but it’s pretty close to 50/50 and our kids will be living together with us.

This is concerning as I’d like to keep it 50/50 and amicable and think it may be smart to do some record keeping of who does drop offs, pick ups, appointments and so on.

Any thoughts on this?  Will record keeping be useful?  Anything I should consider?",4.7421875,6.5708142604166655,4.828041666666668,83.24612500000002,70.45833333333334,8.453333333333333,27.90416666666667,9.029198982220553,2.179795416666668,806,29,156,16,15,251,122,192,0.032,0.8370000000000001,0.132,0.9698,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,7,0,1,2,4,6,0,0,9,1,21,1,1,3,0,34,31,15,0,2,3,1,1,2,0,6,0,1,5,5,7,17,0,4,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,5,2,17,6,22,17,10,27,0,0,0,0,21,16,0,4,11,104,24,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14472122549513988,0.0,0.09083104198226727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991535159860068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142201183732689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23377308449396764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06978393754344843,0.0,0.0,0.1120307748031839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11965098466788936,0.0,0.13707963701324144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1541199150607617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.474886661227927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1088760128759739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13050947464440213,0.0,0.3538298370211879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10661296355479236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14205143007757154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09050935452207663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892829619960089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13588700629559453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10621889393279353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11048909958404922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10666783773862357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15157175357063338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558519009453999,0.0,0.106038331174648,0.1557695301216309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047684633583273,0.0,0.3213325008616445,0.1153601485460514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19447866434352104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1720272455620163
divorce,Jjjjjj1,2018/03/30,"Business value? I could really use some help. I am trying to decide if it is worth having my Arby's business valued. It is definitely a marital asset. A auto repair shop. 

Estimates at about $10,000. He says it is worth $700,00. 

Thank you. Any input is greatly appreciated. ",0.9329273504273524,3.389243019230772,4.363333333333337,74.07055555555556,99.57692307692308,6.157264957264958,19.23931623931624,7.3871296695380915,1.559505982905983,215,7,34,5,9,78,42,52,0.0,0.607,0.393,0.9655,0,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,0,0,1,2,0,0,2,0,7,0,0,1,0,5,9,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,4,2,3,8,1,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,2,0,21,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808708539977821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32976649128383023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4553610192633365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2768416465097659,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2645940997969674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3284536959889542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3802575096855956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28041655459416603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3567205960905533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,realmvpisme,2018/03/30,"I had no choice but to go ""Married Filing Separately"" and... God fucking damnit! Now I have to write a check for a couple thousand dollars that I don't have the funds to cover. Just throw it on the debt pile that I took on because my stbxw lost her job, took what was left of our savings, and refuses to talk to me, even to get our taxes filed. 

I know it will ultimately be fine but right now I'm still pissed and needed to vent. ",3.5036329588015,4.0723083707865175,4.5141011235955055,89.11849250936329,72.03370786516854,7.281647940074906,24.94569288389513,7.1686216300943375,0.8133355805243441,331,9,75,3,6,108,66,89,0.196,0.754,0.05,-0.944,2,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,2,0,0,1,5,5,2,0,4,0,7,2,1,0,0,11,16,5,0,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,1,1,0,5,4,2,3,0,1,5,0,10,2,11,9,0,11,0,1,0,1,6,4,2,0,3,49,15,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930715880422225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2891617864976257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17260905188301834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2415996452099395,0.13653655282344151,0.0,0.14852248707224408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25933428587458673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14362267272658388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28394082941394283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2852776089260711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19377630945920246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22317833767341946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2087021652066292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2100508684720873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5807047573995714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,tspice1,2018/03/30,Arriverdeci After Easter I’m going to tell my wife on Monday I’m leaving. I’ve been filling out paperwork all week. I am through with her affair from 2015 and her lack of addressing my needs. I figured it might not be good to do it today or this weekend. I think she wants to go to Church Sunday. It’s going to be a looooong weekend! ,1.4511801242236049,3.609193869565221,3.303561076604556,88.93434782608698,81.31884057971014,5.681987577639752,24.349896480331264,6.868970318607317,0.9823896480331262,263,10,53,3,7,88,52,69,0.078,0.922,0.0,-0.6121,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,6,0,0,0,1,12,14,2,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,3,0,0,2,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,0,8,1,12,10,2,13,1,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,7,36,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5540077390046901,0.2725418291813215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3440614795610491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447069216051193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24093674790122785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2840093540824952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20820657806013976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3080023839513438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19165632479636424,0.0,0.2606449476816015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Itsagreatday6077,2018/03/30,"husband ""constructively"" criticizes meals, and....shushes me!! married almost 30 years, am 58. Kids mostly gone. I asked husband to not make comments about meals but he feels like it's his right to make what he sees as constructive criticism. Plus, he has taken to shushing me. Really. No one else ever complained about my verbal decibals.

Last weekend, we were meeting sons gf family. I saw them 10 feet away in the restaurant, waved, and said hi. He shushed me. When we are talking with others, he will sometimes wave his hand under the table as if I should not be talking about whatever it is we are talking about.
 Almost divorced last fall but he said he would try to make things work. Im looking at condos now, and just the thought of my little cozy place to myself feels happy. We were too busy over the years with a business and kids to really notice differences once the kids were gone.  

",3.7040662650602414,6.2482247530120505,3.8104668674698807,86.22244728915665,75.56626506024097,6.318674698795181,26.037650602409638,7.413659706084162,1.4581939759036144,703,26,126,9,16,216,112,166,0.07,0.856,0.07400000000000001,0.43,0,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,4,0,1,1,9,3,0,0,6,0,12,4,2,3,1,28,27,10,0,3,6,3,3,1,1,3,0,2,1,3,5,10,2,0,3,1,0,3,3,1,0,1,10,8,16,2,21,13,1,19,0,0,3,0,32,8,0,4,9,76,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3042173812560736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200859278287087,0.0,0.14271766098888164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870607295711325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12689527992417407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13740475999640822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14320042082401654,0.0,0.15361321822868124,0.10851937550547897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16170333262222392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1640810677201874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2476420777840414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421202480168962,0.1522464906202022,0.0,0.0,0.1275600764750489,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041888531217771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294232043540905,0.0,0.16177150182052424,0.10293325416991668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15870607295711325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19462561954706792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1297241430875918,0.2889886559947351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104684776127175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15023573234832954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3662810988029592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10091745648775044,0.0,0.0,0.12059383863898325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313201562510664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1105870320985152,0.0,0.0,0.10790737573514704,0.0,0.0,0.1956408184003412
divorce,asabovesovirtual,2018/03/30,"Custody advice - unique situation that I never thought I'd be in. Briefly, for the past 2 years since a contentious divorce, I've lived a fairly peaceful existence with my two daughters, on a 5/8 schedule, as decided by the court.  This 5/8 was shifted to a 6/8 within a week or two of the final orders (March 2016), due to my Ex and I coming to agreement on the fact that my daughters needed more Dad time (this in part due to agreed orders after the temp orders came through, establishing a 6/8 schedule).  My two girls have been on this schedule (6/8) for the past two years, with the exception of a few weeks. 

As mentioned, my divorce was contentious, due in part to the first of many lawyers representing the other parent telling direct lies to the court.  I'm a right or wrong guy, and because the lies directly affected the time granted with my children, and because the majority of lies were about his client's drug use, I did the best I could for my daughters, in pressing for a parental evaluator and drug testing, which the court granted.  As a result of these extra steps, I have in writing a cascade of different stories of drug use and schedule of said use, which of course her lawyers were aware of.  The courts didn't seem to care about any of this, and ate her story line and sinker.

Fast forward a few years of relative stability on a 6/8 schedule.  In Nov of 2017 I filed a grievance against her first lawyer, noting the lies told to the court.  On my honor, I filed the grievance not as revenge, but because another father shouldn't have to go through what i did.  I included the full transcripts from the commissioner, from the parental evaluator and the drug testing facility, showing beyond a doubt that the lies existed.  An investigator from the Bar came to my home to interview me.  The lies themselves are incontrovertible.  Her prior lawyer has since had to hire council to defend against the indefensible.  As part of his hiring a lawyer, as retribution, he called my ex to let her know this was taking place.  Her first move, in writing, was to take away that extra day that my girls have had for the last two years, due to me ""going after her lawyer.""  

So, here I am going to court, trying to solidify this day that my girls have had with me for 2 years.  My current lawyer is telling me that I'll lose, that I'll be on the hook for her lawyer's expenses, and that she's willing to walk away (""just say the word"").  I'm being portrayed as the bad guy here, and I'm simply standing up for what's right, to keep my children on their current schedule and to ensure that a similar situation doesn't arise in the future.  I understand that this course of events doesn't line up.  I get it.  If so cut and dry, why could things be going so wrong?  I'm reaching out because I do not know, and Just really, do not know what to do.

From my point of view, this should be open/shut: My children have been on a 6/8 schedule for 2 years due to mutual agreement, and my Ex is trying to take that away due to (again, in writing), her anger about a grievance being filed against her former lawyer.  

What am I missing? ",8.1080775862069,6.7295369583333375,7.641965517241381,77.12400000000002,62.75,10.342528735632186,36.52298850574713,9.035553425615538,3.0325436781609203,2445,95,478,31,29,771,242,600,0.099,0.8590000000000001,0.043,-0.9867,6,0,4,0,2,0,90.0,0,0,1,6,12,13,2,1,52,0,43,6,0,5,2,57,74,28,0,6,10,11,1,0,0,3,4,2,1,8,30,22,2,1,7,2,1,11,8,8,0,8,20,4,49,5,102,42,11,89,0,2,1,0,47,31,0,5,45,324,79,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07078714654405867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049261417493723966,0.07595924510409148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041781888202023,0.0,0.060484046867841534,0.17663405068415028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0760208994176518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396893899228434,0.16570322681934407,0.07385700819337784,0.0,0.0,0.062400308042798634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11567426503215265,0.0,0.0,0.09343510874959207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07568397236572498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33602778886341234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0793540497338178,0.0,0.18485128065346126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.037846705340613566,0.0,0.16467639437029186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14345320169960352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266283317935054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06438765198112734,0.0,0.0,0.11943274227693484,0.0590479488981586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07407440710415628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06396550101098658,0.0,0.0,0.08104139200755484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07344239265657565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07699183919059782,0.0,0.05371305144621223,0.055869891442655965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24130683607233724,0.23533510879719785,0.13830360507936348,0.0,0.0,0.07568397236572498,0.0,0.06847884410179869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04640666780105779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12372605884163936,0.06890665570253225,0.0576068837872239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06594629847338664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11984558460042954,0.16285030896443367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16339670996582153,0.0,0.12663082057779226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048125656729608016,0.0,0.0,0.05750895716193469,0.08448023592662225,0.0,0.0,0.0692191497663771,0.0,0.09836347752995356,0.0,0.3538148556012791,0.07541218663837401,0.0,0.18769368870967568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621336808079175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06536547895141022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1584026791554541,0.0,0.2798923951212717
divorce,acake2005,2018/03/30,"Interviewing divorced people Hello. Im writing a book about break ups and divorce. If you have a real story you want featured, please privately message me. All names will be changed in the book. ",3.0631428571428567,6.179777600000005,3.66,81.29000000000003,87.28571428571428,5.085714285714286,29.857142857142854,6.742157984588678,2.1234,156,8,24,2,5,49,32,35,0.0,0.893,0.107,0.3818,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,3,0,0,0,1,7,4,2,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,3,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,9,2,0,1,0,15,3,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44643844742080896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4558512061905372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29257372541621585,0.0,0.0,0.463248371323632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4803481879737422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24891679423363874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ChocolatesROverrated,2018/03/30,"Seeking financial advice Hi all... I am seeking some financial advice and wanted to check if anyone here faced a similar situation and if so what did they do about it. My husband and I are waiting for our divorce to finalize which might take another month or two. We sold our house last month and split the profit half and half. We had purchased our house just a year back and since we didn’t stay there over 2 years, we would need to pay capital gain tax on the profit we made. My question is- are there any preferred ways to reduce the tax I owe as part of the capital gain by investing the proceeds somewhere else- for example using this money as a down payment on a new property?",7.299548872180452,6.647678203007518,7.435037593984965,75.5981203007519,63.9624060150376,10.908270676691728,35.54135338345864,10.290406445055957,3.5397699248120302,543,22,102,11,7,176,92,133,0.011,0.895,0.095,0.9042,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,8,0,1,2,7,2,0,0,9,0,10,1,1,2,1,26,18,12,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,11,0,1,2,0,11,0,1,0,0,3,5,0,14,2,15,11,3,15,0,0,0,0,13,4,0,6,9,73,18,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3492204710844023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151284705858507,0.1873682204576223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12494165227348038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13739877535714984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1492695189111214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19574216495116567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4123601195969235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456532261683135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1690773471107048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1895579823426145,0.0,0.0,0.2852514834614609,0.0,0.0,0.13249366618946834,0.0,0.17257639262793148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19349990680795048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20016960899810035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781119721183472,0.20085094677959328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19045587669911207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1343498992254429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745506021673494,0.0,0.0,0.15432763712727912,0.0,0.0,0.10539384025835603,0.1418329093822532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12693365799399214,0.0,0.0,0.2301363049866574
divorce,AstxG,2018/03/30,"I guess it’s time This is my first post. I think it’s time for a divorce from my wife of 5 years. She had an affair that lasted 2 of the years that we were married, so I highly doubt that it will be contested. I moved out for a while and have been back at the house for a few months now. I’m not angry anymore, but there isn’t anything there emotionally or physically that would keep me around. 

I have no idea what the next step is. Should I see a lawyer, or is this something that can be handled without one? We don’t have kids. ",1.9788397246804337,3.2286937079646063,3.090737463126846,95.26633235004921,76.52212389380531,6.084169124877089,21.40511307767945,6.42735559955562,0.02092605703048145,411,10,99,3,9,132,78,113,0.049,0.933,0.019,-0.456,0,0,1,0,1,0,11.0,2,0,0,1,6,1,0,1,8,0,17,0,0,0,0,17,22,6,0,2,5,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,11,5,0,1,2,0,0,2,5,1,0,2,3,1,12,0,10,14,1,18,0,0,1,0,7,4,0,4,11,73,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21246122836921813,0.0,0.0,0.17629522179156254,0.1907124834856852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16473168839927946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24098290267483724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18222618745185196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360014229974456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263485628791917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.247195721188774,0.0,0.2418425917360874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19041982773427674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17462820760330622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709984618380384,0.2276954090501078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22783885969621856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14516959185056916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20517566473334206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17071568975458948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16492676477702345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13727163540258427,0.0,0.0,0.2498415686413544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2065126351327888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1521847319358871,0.0,0.0,0.27591761268526344
divorce,Ancient2,2018/03/30,"Hello [/r/divorce] A friend of mine in college needs to interview someone that is divorced. Would any of you be interested in answering a couple questions? Sorry if I'm breaking a rule. Here are the interview questions:

**What is the best thing about being single again?**

**What is the most difficult aspect of being divorced?**

**How long were you married before your divorce?**  

**What led to the divorce?**

**What advice would you give to couples getting married?**

**Why do you think some marriages don’t work?**

**Why do you think some marriages succeed?**

**What is your definition of a healthy marriage/relationship?**",1.373440170940171,-1.5782926730769216,2.1036410256410285,84.09691452991456,172.84615384615387,3.6167521367521367,27.31111111111111,5.382237516146466,1.8553600854700856,478,26,70,7,45,148,66,104,0.038,0.8340000000000001,0.128,0.8926,0,0,0,0,5,0,49.0,0,7,0,3,4,5,0,0,8,0,14,0,0,2,0,14,20,2,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,7,0,0,0,5,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,0,8,4,10,14,5,6,0,0,0,0,20,2,0,6,2,56,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18703951225460344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301624934868894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16287222045629582,0.0,0.2008685565448504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4235737083304884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14787963026080578,0.0,0.10000161968594284,0.18361386455858625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16938809146461356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419249600342759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42883655610384497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054981753218713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621774956395473,0.0,0.0,0.2142630992698936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12716149472186722,0.2452901894581279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3454278890518852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13934568693979346,0.0,0.0,0.2719383477854697,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ThatHomieOverThere,2018/03/30,"Uncle is getting divorced. Wife is not on the house title or loan. Florida. Alright so my uncle and his wife are getting a divorce. The didn't get married in the US. But she does have his last name on all of her ID and passports. . They filed for a divorce a couple of weeks back.

A little background. My uncle lived here in the US for almost 20 years before bringing his family over. He got a home loan by himself before bringing them over. They lived together for almost 10 years here in the States before she realized she wasn't happy and left him 2 years ago. I guess she needed some time alone to figure out if she still wanted to be with my uncle or not. 2 weeks ago she filed for the divorce.

One thing to mention is that she never helped my uncle as far as bills or anything. She worked for herself and to help their daughter go to college. My uncle was paying 2/3rds and sometimes more  of his daughters college tuition, books, and food. The wife as I mentioned before didn't contribute on anything on the house and she pretty much saved all of her money to go back home every Christmas and sometimes even on the summer.

She apparently didn't ask for anything in the divorce papers. I don't know anything about family laws and he said that he went online and read a random article that stated that no matter what she said in the papers that it is up to the judge to decide if she's getting half of everything. I was thinking that she pretty much gave it all up but my uncle is very negative sometimes and he doesn't want to hire a lawyer to ask him. How screwed is my uncle at this point? He's afraid that all his life work is going down the shitter because of a selfish woman who didn't even help. ",3.8597617426821,5.362645619469031,4.532168141592923,85.79211198093944,72.15634218289084,6.395325618334468,26.01781257090992,6.67199483983844,1.080222509643748,1351,44,257,10,26,432,166,339,0.061,0.898,0.042,-0.8527,1,1,0,0,5,0,26.0,2,0,4,2,10,6,1,1,21,1,19,3,0,1,5,45,41,23,0,5,9,5,0,0,0,0,1,2,2,1,13,13,1,0,5,2,6,6,12,3,0,2,12,2,41,3,45,28,8,43,0,0,0,1,58,21,1,10,14,181,54,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16267650926220226,0.0,0.18376549715583188,0.095033993780901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3020372659420308,0.0,0.17156337054376206,0.0,0.0,0.14111303832431546,0.0,0.05593504793728687,0.0,0.3123184428637102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152888615164683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0802983639961038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12121107003548387,0.0,0.07731038043800535,0.0,0.08246650229613309,0.0,0.17300324141242251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11095457978494187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19175983514354628,0.0,0.15644518105480504,0.0,0.0733875471750456,0.0,0.1010821845257588,0.0,0.0,0.09767848631260467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18451109463013846,0.0,0.1840822442288364,0.0,0.0,0.21175366814167154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050427997989189004,0.07479531470685652,0.0,0.0,0.09969573259504358,0.0,0.06481164716856569,0.0,0.09196598801664818,0.16204863565202307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490591298791346,0.06803766535081633,0.07076970819593836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0621778431866792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08674131432049664,0.0,0.0,0.18670249087886007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09178319661495267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1745664360859326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.272254109198865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732783492158983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06096018079770136,0.058795055570774635,0.0,0.0,0.05350504082317283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2207480315693271,0.0,0.0,0.0757102612493659,0.10824292269611016,0.0,0.1472060520465875,0.0,0.0,0.08506092410446814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1336023658389562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17726813689377954
divorce,dbheading4divorce,2018/03/30,"Welp, the time has come - tomorrow's I consult with a lawyer She left to go to her parents for 2 weeks, during one of our kids' birthdays without coordinating with me.  The deadbedroom, constant rejection, and icy environment since the Christmas 'incident' (you can check my post history if you're interested) has finally brought me to the end of my ropes.

I was accused of cheating while deployed, I didn't, and now as I learn more about her past behaviors I've come to believe she was projecting her own sins onto me (old phones I was planning to reset and recycle were an interesting read).  I've never cheated, never taken drugs, and my most serious offense, ever, was a speeding ticket while driving to visit her after she decided to not move in with me after I returned from deployment.

But hey, silver lining and all that, I don't have to wonder if tonight is the night that we are finally intimate, because I'll be gone from the house I bought when she comes home in 2 weeks. A beautiful home bought using my veterans benefits, with the money I make, because I wanted to support her working in a field that pays very little, but she enjoys.

One thing I'm sure of though, I'll be more consistently fucked financially, than I have ever been intimately over the past few years during these separation and divorce proceedings.  Best of luck to her, my appointment with the lawyer is tomorrow, and then it's just the year of waiting for it to become official.

But at least I'll be free to find someone who appreciates me for who I am, and will at least try to share my interests, like I tried to share her interests.  Don't get married too young folks, and make sure that you know the person you're getting married to is who you think they are before you waste a decade of your life.",9.529734513274336,7.432765218289088,9.305415929203539,68.60042477876108,60.533923303834804,12.697817109144545,40.29911504424778,11.34169021259432,4.489737699115045,1415,60,257,31,15,462,195,339,0.06,0.792,0.14800000000000002,0.9849,1,0,1,0,1,0,38.0,2,5,1,3,8,22,4,0,17,0,24,3,0,3,7,46,46,20,0,3,8,1,0,1,0,1,2,0,2,2,11,18,0,1,6,2,6,9,7,7,0,2,12,0,44,16,45,30,9,50,1,1,0,1,33,9,1,5,32,179,55,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445992156734049,0.13098827485752554,0.10092286398204467,0.13362555765703538,0.12446708194713488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064993040408329,0.0,0.12816827555800225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754243455867804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1050475195187216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2145673565946944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2598487280923361,0.10840147291831988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10964704746025583,0.1239308929819216,0.0,0.06740511632280995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23793801128706976,0.0,0.0,0.13685254352325746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06518139544094276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12886307664732516,0.0,0.08377317703904902,0.05794369128716751,0.11887189004241792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15833754745618614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12605677690221645,0.0,0.0,0.18294869989280613,0.0,0.0,0.11130137353509144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244544479427998,0.0,0.16073763567947838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13169517843074202,0.0,0.2264409692448367,0.0,0.1035600230421825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11358939164804654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11863562052722375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09811006127086358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10049238161992526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13458987434715136,0.2235648368841085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07879491173887547,0.07599634964593402,0.11652736086328955,0.0,0.06915866905378015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1610480159023625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1024353649787816,0.0,0.09786032906739567,0.0699554317965501,0.0,0.19027318696660656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11432956546213885,0.12862046328099813,0.08634477856389869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15275356271238774
divorce,HeartbrokenNoob,2018/03/31,"I'm terrified of the unknown. How have you managed after the divorce? As divorce is on the table I have found that I have a lot of fears I didn't know existed. 

Will my kids grow distant from me? Will I be able to afford life post divorce? Will I ever find someone to love me again, and this time unconditionally? Will I die alone?

I'm assuming a lot of you have the same fears or some unique ones of your own. For those people that have survived divorce, how have things turned out for you? Do you still have those fears?

",2.1217142857142868,4.228780838095243,3.1145238095238104,91.43464285714286,78.71428571428572,5.723809523809526,22.880952380952376,6.742157984588678,0.514123809523809,408,13,87,4,10,130,66,105,0.171,0.763,0.067,-0.8948,1,1,0,0,4,0,12.0,0,5,0,1,5,4,0,3,6,0,15,2,0,2,1,14,21,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,1,6,2,0,0,4,0,0,1,1,3,0,1,2,0,14,1,13,14,5,9,0,0,0,1,11,2,0,5,5,67,20,1,0.1921454820509628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19900477135936784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19941667450956527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17380658905154694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6486512607934518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17561748958567072,0.0,0.0,0.21067760342347933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10559813189673647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13571803638959046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3267104353045334,0.17341879941147645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13020275140189322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13320948388169446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402225788780974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16280424340612368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15344763017033647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12765292038174164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11204157577695142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899910850730866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,meme1280,2018/03/31,"Well.. I'm joining the club. First time posting.  Need to vent.  Sorry it’s long, as I write this I realized it sounds like a soap opera. 

Married for almost 4.5years, together for 7years, two kids (2 and 6).

STBX has been on anti depressants for 6 months ever since her oldest sister wanted them all to participate in a ”run for suicide"" awareness in memory of their mother who committed suicide when my wife was 7 years old. This did not go over well with STBX because she has never accepted the fact her mom committed suicide although the rest of the family knows that is what happened and that's how it was classified.  She has a horrible relationship with her father who is bi-polar and only talks to him because I talked her into it on the grounds he’s family and my boys grandfather. 


As she took more and more meds her behavior became even more erratic and withdrawn from our family.  She would barely get out of bed on the weekends, yet always work ""late"", didn't want to participate in family activities, stopped visiting friends and family.  Friends and family noticed it was always ""me and the boys"" and she was never around.  She started snapping at everything I did if she talked to me at all and then 5 minutes later she would be fine.  

One day as I was paying the phone bill I noticed an insane amount of text and data on her line (we had a shared plan), I never really read the phone bill and detail, but this got my attention. I dug into it and noticed she would text all day while at work (when she had told me she couldn’t, which is why I never heard from her), and also had been texting a specific number at all hours of the night, sometimes as late as midnight and 5am the next day, this obviously got my attention.  Sooo here’s what happened. 

I may or may not have called and googled the number, it was a guy.  He wouldn’t say his name.  
I asked her who’s number that was (bad move, should’ve waited longer, but it was eating me away), she admitted it was a co-worker.  I asked what they talked about so much, she said “everything” and gave excuses, project at work, parenting advice, pot, obviously, the guy got popped on a random drug test at work, but lied his way out of it, later I found CBD oil in her purse, she has never been into that at all.  Out of the blue I asked her how many times she had been to the guys house, she said once, the guy lives an hour away in another town.
 
So we argued and argued, because my gut told me there was more going on, but she refused to admit it, her confused stare when I confronted her with questions looked liked a kid that gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar.  

One day when I came home planning on taking the family out to dinner she confronted me before I could even get out of the car to tell me she was going to go see her family 4hrs away, she was angry and not only told me she was going, but then changed it to “can I go?” which I thought was weird since I have never stopped her from doing anything she wants to do, but I got the impression she wanted a reaction out of me.  I told her to go, but to leave the kids because the 6 year old had been sick (she knew this) and quiet honestly I didn’t want them in the car with her in that state of mind.  So she left for the weekend.  Normally she would text and let me know checkpoints along the way so I knew she was okay, but not this time.  I didn’t hear from her for 27 hours, she didn’t even call to say goodnight to the boys.  She did go see her family, her sister confirmed. 

I was afraid next time she would leave with the boys and not tell me, so I put a GPS tracker in the car, our car, it worked great.  I found out she visited a divorce lawyer and even found the receipt.  
She left her email open, I found out she had applied and gotten a loan for $12K.  Obviously she was preparing yet had never mentioned this to me.   So I confronted her with the data. This did not go over well.  
She never expected me to know show much, her look said it all, she looked cornered. 

Two days later I come home from work, start playing GTA and crack open a beer.  She and my boys are nowhere to be found.  It gets late, I get concerned so I finally text her and receive short answers.  

1hr later as I’m deep in GTA the cops show up to my house.  She filed a Temporary Protection Order against me for domestic violence because she felt threatened!  I never threatened her and I’ve never hurt my family!  Even her sister told me after the fact “we know you don’t abuse her and don’t understand why she did all this”.  Apparently these TPOs are easy to get, even when there is no evidence or history, just her word.  Be careful men.  

So the cops escorted me out of the house, I haven’t been home or seen my kids for 24 days. 

I had to get a lawyer for the TPO and the lawyer was shocked when she found out STBX had not filed for divorce based on what I told her.  So I filed for divorce and had her served.

At the TPO hearing she showed up with an attorney and a co-worker’s husband as a witness who helped her find the GPS in the car.  Nobody from her family showed up.  I had my family and closest friends there, this was a blessing in disguise. It turned out her lawyer and his wife are friends with my closest friends.  It was awkward.  Her lawyer even admitted he didn’t think there was any domestic violence, but that there was controlling behavior, okay.. I caught her doing questionable things, I dug, I confronted her so would a lot of people I think, that is not domestic violence.  

Her lawyer had the GPS tracker for evidence, but STBX never told her lawyer it was OUR car, only her car.  As soon as my lawyer told him, he wanted to settle. 

They offered to drop the TPO as long as I accepted a No-Contact order, my lawyer was okay with this in exchange for immediate joint custody of the kids because that is all I wanted.  
STBX immediately agreed to joint custody on 3-2-2 schedules but I had to continue paying the bills as I always have.  YES, THAT WAS HER CONCERN, not the kids, but ensuring I continue to pay the bills.  I just chuckled.  

The lawyers spent two days writing up the stipulation to drop the TPO and start joint custody, but she’s dragging her feet on signing.  If she had signed as planned, I would have my kids right now.  Instead I’m sitting at my friend’s house writing my first post.  

We’ll see what next week brings.  

Thank you for taking the time to read, I know it’s long, but it helped to get my thoughts down and I have all the time in the world right now. 






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divorce,actmathsucksballs,2018/03/31,"19 year old in old in middle of parents' ugly divorce I'll try and simplify this as quick as I can.

My dad is pretty wealthy but very immature. Hes cheated on my mom. Theyre divorcing and my mom says hes shuffling $ overseas. He says he isnt. I really have no idea what the fuck to believe. my dads a notorious liar however. but i try and stay neutral and not talk about it. my mom wants to me talk about it because hes hurt her so much. i really dont like getting involved. ultimately my mom just says I should ""go live with my dad since I love him so much"" or calls me an idiot for not shunning my dad for his ways. she cries. he cries. its hard trying to shun him

am i wrong for being silent and not getting involved ",0.24764705882352805,2.35588291503268,2.573594771241829,92.64117647058826,85.86274509803924,5.691503267973857,22.0718954248366,7.048011613610866,0.644048366013072,558,20,126,8,17,190,97,153,0.253,0.679,0.069,-0.988,2,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,0,0,0,0,6,8,4,0,3,0,11,2,0,0,0,16,17,12,0,2,7,9,1,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,5,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,6,6,0,0,0,4,25,2,15,15,2,11,0,1,0,2,31,4,1,1,5,74,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07495319423811157,0.0,0.0,0.13852996825190747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12555242277242765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701240746070056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1441042043170468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11367138345323052,0.12847948379964902,0.0,0.06987906196942531,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11014495088270776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13162756951060375,0.13880302047855447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06007037766691053,0.0,0.10857291905483796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11097312037933454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5760210748881611,0.0,0.0,0.1807744781302376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2580445092184355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365287390138682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250910527445347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575382763250334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29334003947021925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.101710959425357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13105536192567405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19765569435358116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25043835462129144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145206139099533,0.07252298075116273,0.09759721566076088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13443372591626115,0.0,0.07918001078515499
divorce,WhackingPsychopomp,2018/03/31,"What if Child Support ended with remarriage, like Alimony? Child support payments, along with alimony, contribute to making divorce a profit center for women.  What if the new man assumes legal and financial responsibility for the kids as well as the woman?  Then the real Dad can be truly, legally released from the original deal.  ",8.309909090909091,10.591397763636364,8.652500000000002,57.51875000000001,62.27272727272727,10.590909090909092,39.20454545454545,10.686352973137794,5.285636363636363,267,14,32,7,4,88,43,55,0.0,0.6779999999999999,0.322,0.9542,0,0,0,0,1,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,1,5,0,0,6,0,2,0,0,2,0,10,5,6,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,6,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,9,4,0,5,0,0,0,0,9,1,0,3,5,24,2,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3148885343973987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2705234299237153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.149219383582416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20387923779543707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2949895845439896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34765019911415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6932046488713955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.274621404075035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RoseMadderGenuine,2018/03/31,"Not a new story but my life right now... My husband of 12 years wants to separate (we’ve been together for 18 yrs). I thought we were happy and content. But he says he is unhappy, he doesn’t believe in monogamy anymore and has started seeing other women. We own a house together and have a cat (no kids). I can’t afford the house on my own so I’m the one who has to move out. So I’m  feeling pretty low at the moment...losing everything I’ve known and loved in my life including my husband, best friend, and home...don’t know where to go from here",1.7678761061946917,3.4872001681415945,3.5408938053097363,89.80266814159296,78.29203539823007,6.6438938053097365,24.574336283185843,7.554174236665415,1.1301122123893799,421,15,91,6,10,141,79,113,0.051,0.732,0.218,0.9751,1,0,0,0,0,0,21.0,2,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,8,3,0,0,0,16,18,9,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,2,1,0,2,2,8,0,0,4,0,0,2,4,1,0,1,3,3,9,4,11,15,3,14,0,1,1,1,13,8,0,0,4,54,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20518246073178112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23309778789979874,0.21712164930817468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18594226778437853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461141846351624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1598451732496026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11758217352628107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202416587706151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075307488356558,0.0,0.0,0.4774539500236496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11370309210235005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29226957171261503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18672919082550046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21989472942819224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19981874198111196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14019618688999164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104847640460395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17668566252097884,0.0,0.16452977687977935,0.0,0.0,0.1648670940021963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14644007197122064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16425009075981958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203096989277587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13323243766532591
divorce,throwaway-acct-forme,2018/03/31,"Starting over. Starting over. 31M divorcing a 31F of 8 years (together 15) because of her infidelity. The day I broke the news a coworker and I started getting close, she also being married. In the back of my head I knew it was wrong but the connection we shared was unlike any other I’d ever had. After a very wild couple of months she broke it off. She has her family to go back to, and I have the pieces of mine. She filled s bunch of voids and got me through a lot of my divorce that I couldn’t have done on my own. She was my support system and best friend. 

How do you guys move on? I’m a very physical person and I long for the touch of another. Tinder and the like seem dirty. The other dating sites seem like people looking to get married all over again. The coworker was very convenient because we’ve known each other for a long time and there was always a small connection there. Doesn’t hurt that she was an 11 in my book. 

Idk. I’ve been in this so long, I don’t even know where to begin. ",1.7424408848207518,3.611010536231888,3.309188914314773,90.74205949656752,78.90338164251206,6.483498601576406,21.522756165776762,7.475848149327749,0.6836048309178748,779,22,169,11,19,257,123,207,0.084,0.807,0.11,0.8201,0,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,1,1,0,1,11,10,0,0,17,0,17,1,1,1,2,22,32,11,0,1,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,2,8,10,0,0,5,1,0,3,3,4,0,0,11,2,24,6,25,19,7,34,0,3,1,0,16,13,0,3,19,117,32,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490083245596025,0.11955325785987032,0.0,0.0,0.09770731710412366,0.1506609924353247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2209620799530234,0.0,0.17517197108447893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15078328038139613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15897917106583873,0.0,0.09266170426802847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14703450974303753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09489927531294984,0.12996677267590412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13544870309307527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11100680034674104,0.0,0.15013372445211434,0.0,0.08165664683903863,0.0,0.114914009782571,0.0,0.0,0.142265774932793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14745711675074433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15381239608670114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896276244828092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038956667108007,0.0,0.0,0.3814567973391431,0.12065500105081507,0.0,0.0,0.12215158558654207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11468399360091162,0.1527090861155963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09960961091522326,0.12545582130145452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2616017250256058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3050922996596413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16304634480627467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08378095496100252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35565310615023565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15709150882997364,0.0,0.09252519989784068
divorce,LunarBallooner33,2018/03/31,"Camera doorbell answered some questions but also leaves me feeling sick My STBXW (36f) had told me (34m) about 3 weeks ago that she didn't want to continue our relationship.  We are common law so a separation is all that's really needed for it to be over.  I took it as a challenge to better myself for me and our boys (2 and 4) and started losing weight and feeling better mentally.  I kept trying to tell myself that I would be better regardless of the outcome.  She got mad and said it felt like a slap in the face because I hadn't done it while we were still together.

For the past year, she has had a second Instagram account to profile her transformation in weight loss and being healthy.  I noticed a lot of guys liking pretty much every picture she posted, half of which were selfies of her hitting the town, and I sensed something was up.  

We had been seeing a counselor for about a year but she said she was finished as counseling didn't work.  Yesterday, we went to see the counselor one more time to discuss rules and boundaries for living together until we finalize everything.  One important rule that seems like common sense is, don't see anyone new while still living together, especially with the kids living at home.  During this session, I realized that I wasn't ready to give up. I was emotional and asked (foolishly) if we could continue living as we had been and making a decision later.  She half heartedly agreed.  Last night she was quite friendly and I feel like things were on the upswing.

Today however, I took the boys to my parents' place for Easter and she pretty much has the house to herself while her sister is visiting her.  We have a doorbell camera and I am notified every time someone comes and goes.  Early in the evening, I realized they were planning a night on the town.  Then a few friends showed up.  Then, a guy I didn't know, yet recognized from Instagram was on my front steps.  They all visited for a couple of hours and then left.  After closing time they returned but the guy waited in his truck.  They went into the house but she came out a few minutes later and left with him.  

I feel so sick right now.  Any hope I had about possibly making our relationship work is gone.  I wanted things to end amicably but I'm not sure how this will affect things.  Do I acknowledge that this happened with her, or do I pretend I didn't see it and move forward with finalizing things?  I'd like to think I'll take the high road, but I can't say that that will happen as feelings are so raw right now.  I feel that the bridge has been burned.  She knows about the doorbell and gets notifications as I do.  Is she trying to get a reaction out of me?  I feel like I'm gonna have a breakdown but have to hold it together for my kids.  Getting through separation is tough enough but watching her do this right before my eyes makes it so much worse.

TLDR: STBXW was on our doorbell camera leaving with someone at 2:30am while we are still living together and trying to figure out separation.

Update: Saw that she got home at 4:30am; two hours after leaving with the other guy.  Not sure what two people would be doing alone between 2:30 and 4:30, but I'm pretty sure they weren't playing chess.

Edit: spelling
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divorce,Erasor101,2018/03/31,"My wife handed me a stack of paperwork today after work. My wife gave me divorce paperwork today. I was blindsided. We started dating in 2008 for 1 year, engaged for 1 year, and married almost 8 years. No kids or house. Shes taking 2 of our 3 dogs and 1 of our 2 cars. She thinks i cant hear her leaving in the middle of the night. I still love her. Life can be a real bitch sometimes. 😔

Edit: So she has officially moved out this morning. Doesnt feel real. Im so confused how someone Ive known and shared my life with for soo long could just up and quit without at least trying to work things out first. No REAL definite answer was given as to why. Everything she told me are things i feel like could be worked out. I told her id be willing to do whatever it takes to at least explore our options before a divorce, but she was unwilling to be receptive to that idea. She told me she still loves me, but is not  ""in love"" with me. WTF?",1.228510580575147,3.214525654639175,3.1725176342919177,90.50327455236031,81.11340206185567,5.939880629408574,22.066196418882257,7.0608816371341465,0.6549319587628877,723,23,155,9,19,243,119,194,0.07,0.825,0.105,0.7706,0,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,4,0,0,5,6,8,1,1,5,0,19,6,1,1,0,32,34,11,0,2,6,2,3,1,0,1,2,1,0,1,5,10,0,0,7,0,0,3,6,2,0,1,8,4,29,6,27,19,2,26,0,0,0,3,28,10,1,4,14,102,34,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11937944822873045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10144560311315973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19037149269915535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10714530958025678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12056024647285606,0.08516925046478976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10140663588271903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13436717292632727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756138368959436,0.0,0.13458243287669278,0.12877572772693674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12623448145354393,0.0,0.0,0.16841417562117136,0.0582438158936436,0.0,0.0,0.10550403899863177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32279627215049944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12670969941579818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1118778690981186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12680285025638005,0.0,0.4070880144349928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10101289102858638,0.0,0.11790949457214647,0.0,0.0843830024946577,0.0,0.19041504595583533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17927396135275897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15840607426718542,0.07638997963436656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260091497261285,0.3417532722787262,0.0,0.08094108935661769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075755596589816,0.0,0.0,0.11492174582001168,0.0,0.26037602753659383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23031714547556315
divorce,77777throwaway13,2018/04/01,Please give me hope Feeling super broken right now. My STBXH and I were at a friends house a couple weeks ago and he got drunk and told all our friends he was planning on leaving me. A week went by and he still hadn’t said anything to me. I had to confront him and he said he didn’t plan on telling me for another week. We are living together because I’m trying to save up the money to leave. I put all our extra money into paying his car off and I’m so upset because I still have my car payment. I have built our savings up a number of times and he has depleted it every time. I was planning and building our future together and he was checked out months ago. Found out he’s been flirting/texting with a coworker that tried to befriend me. He even stayed the night at her house but claims nothing happened. I’m not perfect. But he’s an alcoholic who blames all his problems on me. I’ve done so much for him. For us. And he’s leaving me. I’ve heard it gets better. And I’m trying to stay positive. I’ve written this and deleted this several times since making the account. I just haven’t felt this way in so long and it hurts so bad to know that I’ve put so much effort into someone that doesn’t love me. And hasn’t for a while. ,1.8320677451971683,3.5996164534883732,3.2374957869902268,91.83074317492421,78.26356589147288,5.727266599258512,24.78328277721605,6.498293943080001,0.7237648803505228,967,35,208,8,23,316,139,258,0.112,0.778,0.11,-0.3954,0,0,1,0,0,0,21.0,6,0,0,7,10,14,1,1,10,0,16,3,0,1,4,37,37,22,0,2,4,0,2,0,2,0,1,3,0,0,10,20,2,0,4,1,5,5,6,5,0,0,18,5,28,9,27,19,6,38,0,1,0,1,32,14,0,1,16,125,38,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19459927828623155,0.11730490841214247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150976874793598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09032686131888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164880343850072,0.13382288578564785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09707781296203284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12145237231806075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11232723067551688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07249844140431032,0.0,0.09248135643863008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05550024790878754,0.0,0.10539116879598508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12035114917522233,0.16960761784278838,0.0,0.057347440162787026,0.10529614564144676,0.0,0.0,0.08778872733519406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.097064417472181,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10902095200944516,0.0,0.25330707661309465,0.11750520694889435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06032371888616506,0.0,0.0,0.3486743874674973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09692409705670764,0.09713816106241636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09906678004023914,0.0,0.07326868071216648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08761300613381415,0.0,0.16137912857276246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10300658222112156,0.0,0.10532203351547058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12048849983752305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10502983778279808,0.0,0.2206873534934493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373831476401044,0.20882242082394545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12400268345665605,0.0,0.0907983591939253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09300313591067716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2339887833847452,0.17531620190394054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959390433129288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1920137524972824,0.0,0.0,0.1048847188578542,0.0,0.22356874625224146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203322293220127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08712598026760432,0.2641394718040641,0.0,0.0,0.10175282538433128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,theshadean,2018/04/01,"Question: How would you feel if something you posted in this subreddit helped your either STBX or X? First off, I'm not trying to stifle discussion or cause any harm to this subreddit or any of it's members.  This is one of my favorite places on Reddit and I've learned a lot from being here as sad as that sounds(?). It has helped me tremendously to read the stories people have posted and the responses given. I've even tried to help every now and then when I think I have anything to add.

I just had a random thought today. What if you replied to another member's post with either advice or just to share your story and found that your former SO either just used your own advice in their relationship with you or maybe discovered something new in the story you posted? How would you react?

I don't think I've fallen into that situation yet, but I just don't know for sure.",4.7957364341085285,5.927852604651164,5.298837209302324,82.60178294573646,69.46511627906978,7.826356589147288,25.37984496124031,8.07648339933343,1.4572310077519384,696,19,132,9,12,223,107,172,0.041,0.911,0.048,-0.4015,0,0,2,0,0,0,15.0,0,10,1,1,12,4,0,0,5,0,10,0,0,5,1,42,19,19,0,4,16,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,9,8,0,0,8,1,0,1,3,2,0,2,4,2,18,2,21,12,5,20,0,1,0,0,18,7,0,10,8,96,27,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2729826205893712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18997108229265874,0.14646411671361287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11494274340616276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14348734608533398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09225572134366387,0.0,0.1176843816752598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706251790576142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11880967443874298,0.0,0.15314925213052805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2808688039141852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07676314265763905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11874887984546027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032489861786068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349014728865851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0946491401008348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09683484386409873,0.0,0.14593333763036978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5350900278515004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15647085137069386,0.0,0.13971537432118974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14996144330545805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1570034472191587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21506124342935828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1316444619731695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17899950100381815,0.0,0.11088839287832876,0.0,0.0,0.13239800958486572,0.0,0.0,0.18966381029144733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12063657861050245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1984458843010971,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ghost_ninja47,2018/04/01,"No lawyers Has anyone here done their own divorce without lawyers? Was the paperwork overwhelming or fairly simple? I understand it just depends on each situation. We ha e a house and cars, 1 kid, and dogs. But fairy mutual in what we are splitting up. And the child is not legally my spouses so there will be no custody/child support etc. ",3.93095238095238,6.487390269841274,4.4256349206349235,82.03464285714288,74.87301587301587,7.374603174603175,32.72222222222222,8.344100000000001,2.8590126984126987,269,14,47,5,6,85,56,63,0.094,0.826,0.079,0.1935,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,2,0,1,0,4,3,0,1,3,1,7,0,0,1,0,13,9,6,0,0,5,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,2,0,5,2,4,5,3,4,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,2,0,36,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373924323822843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3474353560422799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786420338900939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3917475478645536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3816220926703148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3852705392642886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3534406125574613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272743477405759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,whiskygyro,2018/04/01,"What to do? Hi, I'm really not sure what I should be writing here. Basically, I got a lady pregnant over 5 years ago, fell in love with the baby, accidentally had another kid and got married then had another kid. So now I'm married, pretty sure I don't love this woman and pretty much feel stuck now. I don't want to lose my kids because I love them so much (obviously). We are constantly arguing over various things, things never feel just right. I really don't know what to do. Im pretty sure I know what the right answer is, but I think I'm looking for some advise really on what to do? I'm pretty sure when or if I do end it with her she is going to go post apocalyptic on my ass and pretty much make my life hell indefinitely. Any advise would greatly help! ",3.5563636363636357,4.409713611464973,5.759803126809497,79.18894614939201,72.12101910828025,9.021192819918936,25.10075275043428,9.339509955726095,1.935349044585988,595,17,124,13,11,210,91,157,0.18,0.66,0.16,-0.5597,0,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,1,1,7,11,2,0,3,0,15,5,1,1,6,30,35,10,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,2,1,0,0,4,9,6,0,0,6,0,0,3,5,3,0,0,5,3,16,8,13,27,5,20,1,1,1,4,17,7,2,4,9,77,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09693025016744268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07436027144479561,0.22932145975708546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0666574198607895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11816615348729642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09684971777038168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11057909282152747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12428977898864975,0.0,0.17491089129252615,0.1205563643070914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07329354288164375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11811441636926966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201894110638163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723560337390109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09182463397034628,0.12233224731532802,0.0,0.0,0.29607204683850485,0.0,0.07299052302159807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2411497017170877,0.0,0.08433578456804365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10472499087293573,0.5562302519844347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21015305223249547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867648920462185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4122361280838899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14529167368473042,0.07006567169323988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06449618093831896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776775583191081,0.0,0.0,0.07041641489915634
divorce,wellgroomedmonkeyman,2018/04/01,How do you deal with a nasty divorce? My wife and I are divorcing. She is being very spiteful and vindictive. There have been several false allegations made and it has been making life difficult. How do you deal with a person like her?,2.987499999999997,5.8263718409090925,3.9329090909090887,82.53936363636366,80.5909090909091,8.065454545454546,24.70909090909091,8.841846274778883,2.331814545454546,187,7,34,5,5,60,35,44,0.196,0.753,0.051,-0.7994,0,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,2,0,0,3,3,1,0,2,0,9,1,0,4,0,9,11,5,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,1,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,0,6,1,2,7,0,0,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,0,1,26,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6854241506993909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23479920855315745,0.16240440360204655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31454535767944314,0.2218940008066725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2902577209972223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3755417905101132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27428263587359936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,siebalt,2018/04/01,"Not yet divorced but can’t happen soon enough So the story goes. Moved to Mass from IL 17 years ago to be with the girl who eventually became my wife. We were young, trying to keep a website alive and make our relationship work, and for the most part it was good.

Then I had an affair. I thought going months without sex, plus the distance that had developed between us and my working theory that she no longer loved me, justified a dalliance.
 
Before I go much further... I acknowledge fully it was a horrible idea and should have never happened. I broke her trust in me beyond repair because I thought I knew how she felt and didn’t try to work it out. I will never cheat again.

So that was 9 years ago. Four years ago her and I bought a house. We felt it would show our commitment to one another was real and that we’d be stronger for it. False. She hadn’t been working in years due to a disability, and since we had filed bankruptcy in the somewhat recent past we didn’t get the help with our down payment we had hoped, thus we were immediately and permanently house poor.

Tensions rose. Trust damaged from the affair was never regained. Resentment on an epic scale formed. Thanksgiving 2016 was the first day I felt like it was really and truly done. We agreed we were done but due to the circumstances we bought the house under, had to stay living together until we could sell.

We don’t talk, which is good cause all we did was fight. We are slowly going through the divorce process but the house selling process is going to be ridiculously time consuming and we can’t ever start that till October, with a necessary close date no earlier than December. 

That’s all the facts. The feelings are much uglier. She made me hate myself so much I accepted that I would never have sex again (closing in on 8 years since it has happened). We tried counseling but it never helped, the resentment was too much by then. She was never great with affection but after the affair it just stopped. And I hated myself more everyday to the point it’s a wonder I didn’t kill my self. 

I still think of that option now. I still live with her, she hates me even more now, and I feel very, very alone. We had no kids, a blessing if there ever was one, so I’m isolated and feeling very trapped. To the point that some days the idea of driving my car into a wall makes more sense than going home. 

So hoping I can maybe get some support through here. IRL I know very few people who have been divorced, so the more community I can find the better.",3.3783043622412734,5.450785207739309,3.931687585847584,87.21212238904941,74.72301425661914,7.092900108937623,24.4532278690854,7.97965635744439,1.3291397811774743,1991,64,393,31,43,627,252,491,0.139,0.71,0.151,0.5493,0,2,0,0,4,0,53.0,21,0,0,6,23,25,9,1,32,0,51,3,0,7,12,99,88,32,1,7,9,1,6,1,0,4,0,0,1,3,22,40,0,2,17,1,5,8,18,12,0,4,38,6,60,13,44,41,18,70,1,2,0,3,48,18,0,9,44,284,82,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857591893907836,0.0,0.0,0.07234577681958616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07324608571765139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0425812315516626,0.0,0.05943904771631189,0.0,0.0,0.06177856362904169,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175741530818147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05577126997681948,0.0,0.0,0.0900977356361598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14296603427346413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07217595929557177,0.0,0.04613669631241297,0.12637056504127722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10595806061890564,0.0,0.2012070985761162,0.0,0.06384361349928434,0.059416216021310274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07298974653343306,0.0,0.19849297608854294,0.11717736408521433,0.0,0.07701225871490025,0.0,0.0,0.1853101169450398,0.0,0.0,0.20689365474160934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09364086780445087,0.0,0.07006741707673231,0.13875792243585733,0.0,0.32240008036334555,0.0,0.1577091841153908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06208781392844475,0.07728107131654131,0.0,0.0383889231930564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034126239539634375,0.0,0.12336148321650114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06304430628895405,0.066095807651569,0.09325372534222223,0.0,0.07017588869621927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05575533182114774,0.07424179696870632,0.2053975148128004,0.0,0.3232457762346218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09466726983351813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07564308785020603,0.06668179560513833,0.0484266961305884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206574862750606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07950705656425941,0.044749085683630126,0.0,0.06897058609096404,0.07499508396429909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07287104247782131,0.0,0.0,0.1155648657447265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049441722044185725,0.07445311395957223,0.11156805869494027,0.05839953786653136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0792674092649216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05614452442171555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04475844694294295,0.0,0.11090963318667624,0.04073135925488208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1422751048296788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08402355404581045,0.0,0.0,0.23054140714856355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06733499455681616,0.07575169344791419,0.20341283275619465,0.0,0.0,0.09924194798002917,0.0,0.0,0.22491252092572414
divorce,bean8109,2018/04/01,Fuck you Facebook memories for reminding me of the life I don’t have anymore. Instant tears. ,3.5994117647058843,6.6588586470588265,4.383823529411767,78.77220588235295,80.17647058823529,8.105882352941178,37.911764705882355,8.841846274778883,4.329141176470588,75,5,12,2,2,24,17,17,0.293,0.7070000000000001,0.0,-0.6597,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,8,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6487167349957581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6047284915467841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4620281909667355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bojanghorse,2018/04/01,"Advice please. Foreclosure, kids, limited income and renting. I'm nearing the end of high conflict divorce in Maryland and could use some advice.  I will spare the details, but we were just notified our house will be going into foreclosure.

In addition,  health problems have reduced my income from 125k to 54k ( tax free)  for the next year or more and my credit rating went from 780 to 580, even prior to the foreclosure. I have two teenage kids and will have shared custody. 

I''m terrified that my financial situation will make it impossible to find adequate housing for me and my kids. 

Rents in the kids' school district start at about $1900 and most are upwards of $2,200. Rental applications ask for a credit rating of 600+ and income that is at least three times the monthly rent.

I'm sure others have faced similar challenges when divorcing and would greatly appreciate any advice, resources or experiences that you'd care to share.",8.165,8.89737788095238,7.467952380952378,71.44371428571431,61.85714285714286,10.529523809523807,36.44285714285714,10.355215969177356,3.9498528571428566,756,33,122,16,10,235,116,168,0.08900000000000001,0.7509999999999999,0.16,0.9358,7,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,2,1,0,2,4,10,0,0,7,0,15,2,1,2,1,26,24,12,0,3,4,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,3,4,5,11,0,2,1,0,7,2,0,1,0,2,2,0,10,10,21,14,4,18,0,0,0,0,12,8,0,4,8,77,15,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.491601767612064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11403671003990175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1567699326366998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709737692553389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13388888598496906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1485258588791814,0.0,0.0,0.11075937261000622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16403552842665028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15326798712360226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09530356205043222,0.0,0.0,0.18488166991373645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824937903498198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17717642583598972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3869894626682705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193610442444547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13385062359810873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17834296941866978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840761041234117,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16045915902216645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971385140268058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1884934945858137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869367666230113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15804827931933446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09778289641882604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16381129146822945,0.0,0.0,0.14483255418862562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1554527088108407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1191240029458453,0.0,0.0,0.1079885284424486
divorce,stoic50,2018/04/01,"looking for a way out. I've been lurking and posting elsewhere here. Just started lurking here and have started to entertain thoughts of divorce.

I'm 55M, married 13yrs, together for 19. We are latecomers to parenthood with a daughter in elementary school. After the last 5+ years, I feel no sexual attraction to my SO
anymore. Sometimes the meloncholy rises up to seething and resentment. We've been through therapy solo and as a couple, off and on for the past 5 yrs. Our bedroom is nearly dead. We've reached an impass on our sex life-  I've asked/suggested my variety in the bedroom. Nothing changes. Sex is an afterthought for her, routine and vanilla, at the end of the week. I've stopped initiating sex and I feel no desire from her initiations. I feel like we are at an impasse.

My current situation is this:  My SO is the bread winner. I am, as they say, between jobs. We are currently prepping our house to put it on the market. With a sale and, depending on what we find to buy, we have the potential to pay off all student loan and credit debt and possibly have some capital leftover.  In parallel with prepping the house, I'm working hard on a business plan for me start a new business with that capital. 

This is the prize I am keeping my eyes on. Besides currently being a stay at home dad, I am putting in a fair amount of sweat-equity in repairs on the house in order to get as much as we can out of a sale. Starting my own business is a long time coming. I've never been so focused, confident and clear of a goal as I am with this. The reasons are obvious- gaining some self-respect as a co-provider to our daughter, running my own business and carving out more autonomy and self reliance. 

This plan may take a year or two. I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of next 20 years and feel sad. I know I will be just as good of a parent, if not happier, solo rather that together with my SO. This plan is still a rough outline in my head. Part of me wants to just say, ""find the house that will make you happy. All I want is the means to start a business, nothing else except 50/50 custody"". The mortgage is in her name. Is this feasible in regards to terms of a divorce? What is the cleanest break I can possibly make?   


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divorce,hoytness,2018/04/01,"Can this please be over now? I filed back in October after a year and a half of emotional torture, cheating, lies, public humiliation, betrayal and substance abuse. I finally found the strength to push through and file, even after trying to help him (now I realize it was enabling). I held on with everything I have, believing that after 17 years together it really couldn't be over, especially with a child involved. WELL, fast forward to today and I'm ready to pop the champagne! Only problem is his lawyer, who is counter suing me over custody (that he signed and agreed to at our Friend of the Court meeting back in November) keeps canceling any mediation or court dates in front of a judge, and my lawyer keeps agreeing. I finally had to tell my attorney I wasn't canceling after our set trial date of May 4th. My attorney friend says his is buying time since he has lost his (4th) job, doesn't have a car and doesn't have a separate room for our 6 year old at his house. Anyone else run into this? It's been 7 months after legally filing and there seems like no end! ",7.348523281596449,6.90540925365854,7.449889135254992,74.84396895787144,63.780487804878035,11.161862527716188,34.73392461197339,10.637119530657019,3.5860243902439017,847,33,159,19,11,274,133,205,0.139,0.7140000000000001,0.147,-0.6262,1,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,3,0,0,3,8,9,2,0,9,0,18,0,0,0,0,22,25,9,0,2,1,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,1,1,8,11,0,3,3,0,1,5,5,4,1,1,7,1,19,5,29,14,0,39,0,1,0,0,20,12,0,3,24,101,27,4,0.0,0.18555257244714066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10649749091263587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10950259828238136,0.16046141511004408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24084078653758356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764414010516668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308242677097865,0.1761607386723404,0.13870648583901124,0.0,0.0,0.1034368255090495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1407474285285926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3431085673279619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17171046129980572,0.2419869066422028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10496974076792516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1807023666737637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15540734963716385,0.2783973231228958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650981033922606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17095401390723913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12500146282107275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16433171578224048,0.0,0.0,0.11910596541501177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719064257400717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14985084911545635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1003258520333588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453942445762467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1425682751270044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12954615098651853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13688059895415294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09131825286025336,0.0,0.14844423322170228,0.0,0.0,0.10632523471047188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14080765538927514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025475039338964
divorce,AqueousMartini,2018/04/01,"teen wondering if should bring up the option divorce Feel so alone/don't know what to do... Here's the rundown: my dad and my mom don't ever talk, touch, smile, or interact except for like things relating to us and the household (Ex. Can you pick up Joe today from school). My dad makes all the money and my mom is wholly financially dependent on him. It's basically me (who is about to leave for college next year), my brother (who is in high school), and my sister who is in elementary school. For the reason of my dad working all the time when we were younger, my brother and I have no relationship with my dad and basically hate him. Like he sucks as a person. However, he does have a good relationship with my sister who is in elementary school and isn't yet old enough to understand what a shitty person he is. However, we all have an amazing relationship with my mom who basically raised us as a single mother when my dad was away all the time. They married super super young like when my mom was 22?? They have been married for 20 years I think... And I know she regrets the decision so much -- once, she told me, ""Don't ever get married young."" and when I asked her if she regretted it, she said, ""No because then I wouldn't have you guys."" Anyways, the thing is my mom only has a college degree from a school in Korea, she's not financially independent. I know that she is unhappy and always seeing her like this, like not truly fulfilled and in a loving relationship makes me so sad because she deserves it. Like it's been this messed up way for like 3 or 4 years. No interactions between them, seems just like 2 separate people living in the same house. And I think it's this way bc the alternative is constant fighting and my mom is like trying to pretend everything is normal for us. But, there are definitely fights when all this tension just explodes. She is my best friend. I know that she is only staying in the marriage bc of us kids and like it's not an Asian thing to get divorced. It would be super taboo bc my mom's parents love my dad and think he is the shit for like supporting our family financially. We are upper middle class due to all of his sacrifices for work, which I do respect, but in terms of his relationship with my mom there is nothing he is providing her. I don't know if I should bring up divorce as an option to my mom--I'm just not sure if I should like plant the idea bc it's a really serious one and I think she's only staying in this marriage bc of us and she thinks that's the only option for a stable lifestyle for us again in terms of paying for college etc. I really don't know what to do and I don't want to cause a problem that might get resolved on it's own?? Idk anymore... I would really appreciate any advice... Thank you guys so much. 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divorce,bthompson1638,2018/04/02,"Can I cut her phone off? So a wild story. Wife lives in another state from me as I am military. She has kids that she does not have custody of anymore but has visitations. She has been doing cocaine and heroin and has also cheated on me numerous times, each I have hard proof on. 
I am wondering though if I could suspend her phone though? Nothing on the account is under her name.
Also we have not started the divorce process yet.",2.772142857142857,5.040760261904765,3.9573809523809516,85.39178571428572,77.33333333333333,6.5809523809523816,28.357142857142854,7.6454224807358475,1.857028571428572,338,15,64,5,8,110,61,84,0.172,0.828,0.0,-0.935,0,0,1,0,1,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,6,2,2,0,3,0,14,0,0,0,1,12,16,10,0,2,4,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,2,2,0,0,1,1,14,0,9,14,1,11,0,0,0,0,14,6,0,2,3,54,15,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4211054209970113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2760822497592526,0.0,0.0,0.2611126746916075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21021543385246572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304066263480567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358558922745687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23248966471284346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2526336071468415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18635783359875785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5173616668477949,0.0,0.15352636511100615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2855264925799775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,progodyssey,2018/04/02,"How do you know when to stop waiting? Call me (54) crazy but it feels like my heart would wait forever for my STBX to come back. Meanwhile she has been having an affair for two years and is leaving me for him. I know intellectually, and via her own very ice cold words, that she is never coming back. Yet so many women friends keep telling me 'she thinks she doesn't love you,' or 'the grass is never greener,' or something designed to make me hang on to hope. I am not a young dude and I have no plans to wait forever. I guess the answer will make itself clear as time goes on, but, being lovesick for a woman who has left me (after 30 years), I'd appreciate thoughts on how you finally know it's time to give it up and move on?",4.613012677106639,4.589737892617451,5.121700223713648,87.82976882923195,69.40268456375838,7.9645041014168525,26.62266964951529,7.3871296695380915,1.0609412378821776,562,15,127,5,9,180,102,149,0.065,0.799,0.136,0.9246,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,3,0,1,7,4,0,0,5,0,14,2,1,4,3,34,32,13,0,2,5,0,1,1,1,2,0,0,0,2,6,6,0,5,7,0,0,4,5,0,0,1,2,2,20,4,17,27,1,24,0,0,0,1,18,6,0,4,15,83,26,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26031827498231525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17284486491449533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916243753450476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08558862656782139,0.12092740992750647,0.0,0.18542837295652684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13077854256130025,0.0,0.0,0.16238040059114395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18647135813711324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2005872381406044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681245381991776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1504560584544867,0.0,0.0,0.279081145227429,0.0,0.0,0.17923380565653546,0.18391370096215967,0.0,0.0,0.08269737918175822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277390573237462,0.0,0.2259797384291557,0.1716144723807281,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1799085430413642,0.0,0.0,0.2611048359149964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130313272820667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1415183387369417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14795052744411588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084621777365282,0.0,0.13438245927881906,0.19740684624670424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535340848277902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966650311645448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12024543450369166,0.0,0.0,0.2180102616242612
divorce,Gorgonnum_Chaos,2018/04/02,"Washington State Divorce - need help TL:DR:  Thinking about getting a divorce and need to know my options.  Two twin girls (5), $650k home, $120k/y (me) and $36k/y (her) with minor savings and $100k 401k (her) and $30k 401k/Schwab (me).  Two cars that are paid.  Married almost 7 years in July.

What am I looking at for alimony and child support?  How long on alimony?  I know I have to pay child support til they are 18.

What am I looking at for trying to get custody or joint custody of my kids?

I work from home, take the kids to and from daycare and am a good patient and understanding father.

My wife and I went through IVF 6 years ago.  It was difficult to hear that she couldn't have kids on her own and we tried many times and ultimately had to go with donor egg.  This cost us about $50k and it was all taken out of my Schwab account.

My wife has progressively stepped down in her career at one point making about $75k/y to now making a little over $18/h but doing something she loves.  I make nearly all the money to keep our family and lifestyle afloat.

She and I have been drifting apart for the last 3-4 years and the obvious reason we are still together is the kids and the life we've built.  I really don't want to get divorced as everything is great in my life other than my wife.  I am running out of reasons to stay with her.  She is mean (angry inside), disrespectful when she talks to me and we rarely have sex.

We've gone to marriage counseling a few times and each time she stops it because it's ""too hard"" or she doesn't think we get anything out of it.  We talk and resolve some issues in therapy but it never transfers over to the home.

Any legal advice would be appreciated.  Thank you.
",2.510481963629136,4.14447482708934,3.8010474013713633,89.12285302593658,75.94524495677233,6.630587300009937,24.357448077114178,7.372421405659032,0.9581993242571794,1323,43,283,16,29,433,197,347,0.024,0.8809999999999999,0.094,0.9785,0,0,1,0,3,0,57.0,7,1,1,3,8,9,0,0,11,0,25,5,0,6,4,63,55,27,0,5,4,4,1,0,0,1,2,1,3,7,12,31,1,2,9,0,5,7,4,1,0,3,8,4,41,8,48,44,6,43,0,0,2,2,41,19,0,5,15,175,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10744935326411344,0.0974708315909271,0.0,0.11010671366588554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0747749797666959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09048578561323993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0670291692666963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882285517011437,0.0,0.10365829636296968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2297933571595684,0.0,0.06249147245234976,0.09222726874355114,0.0,0.12122870891483414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985004659459191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12393027489243387,0.0,0.07370230204273877,0.0,0.33088949672239704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1147672296923334,0.0,0.09773542092505244,0.0,0.0,0.12085970916795195,0.0896301691823469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15533269492808474,0.0,0.11020646276120596,0.0,0.0973090693999458,0.1846734825951864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924108165863392,0.0,0.22019277670949933,0.11147980923636293,0.0,0.11977612750585202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16306442402351554,0.08480612647259576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07451015649920932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10394553065410846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07044169295993093,0.2261095768869721,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465077911835517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11720023578871665,0.0878123297343647,0.09192952777805996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24955730021591935,0.0,0.0,0.08267447631604448,0.17675960481769562,0.0,0.1012342405349724,0.12574616771690508,0.0,0.0,0.1409128579389728,0.0,0.0,0.19235158832681815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14930806737384658,0.0,0.21482531372234834,0.11446980247300285,0.1322655268834311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06485587708313151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10193185292649556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005048645252717,0.0,0.0,0.07811076719844556,0.0,0.0,0.2124273848261832
divorce,VariousFeedback,2018/04/02,"Need someone to talked to about my STBXW and her emotional abuse when we argue and her dual personalities. Using a throwaway account, 32m, married 3 years, together for 6, no kids.

My wife filed for divorce about a month ago. She lost her wedding rings on a ""girl's trip,"" I got angry, and that was the final fight where she ""had enough."" A month has gone by and she's still living in the house that we just bought in November. I'm devastated, she has basically moved on already. Well anyway, we are to the point where we aren't really speaking to each other and my attorney submitted a settlement offer and she read it Saturday. She burst into my bathroom this morning (Monday) while I was getting ready for work and told me that she had read the papers and that there was no way that I was keeping the cat, the value of our house wasn't accurate, she wanted the TV, and the curtains, etc, etc. My therapist and others have told me to stop letting her walk all over me and have her way. I basically supported her financially for years and also did all the housework, paid the bills, etc. She works but that's about it. I say no, I'm not giving you everything you want. She says ""it's not fair, I'm starting all over!."" I say, ""if you don't want to start over, don't divorce me. I'm starting all over too plus you've ruined my life."" She says oh don't be dramatic. She says (for the hundredth time), I can't stand you, I hate you, and then ""You're a monster, I'm finally getting away from a monster!""

Let me start off my honestly saying, I am not a monster. I have never done anything monstrous to her or really in general. The meanest thing I've probably ever done is raise my voice or tell her she can't buy something.

It breaks my heart that this woman I still love can say these things to me that have no basis in reality. What I think is also abusive is her ""split"" personality towards me. Last night I came home after spending the day with my family for Easter. My wife comes downstairs and talks to me, asks how my family is, asks if I want to go get take out with her (she rides in my car with me for the first time in weeks having causal conversations), and then eats dinner with me on the couch while watching Dragonball Super and asking me about the characters, talking about the plot, etc. How can she be so kind and want to hang out on Sunday night and then Monday morning tell me that I am a monster that she has to get away from? If you hat esomeone, wouldn't you not want to ""relive""  the casual moments of your marriage with them. I was sick to my stomach the entire time thinking ""this is the last time I will ever do this with her."" I miss her so much.

So this morning she starts yelling ""Fuck off, Fuck you!"" to me. I say stop talking to me like that, never say ""Fuck you"" to me again. I say ""I have given you everything, I took care of you for years, when you came to live with me you had a single suitcase and now look what you have and what you're taking with you"" (a 5 figure settlement, a car, fake boobs, lots of nice clothes and housewares, etc) ""You are running away, you can't keep your commitment to me."" So she says again ""I am running away from a monster, oh and by the way you have a tiny dick!"" (I don't) Then she storms out of the house slamming every door.

I am left standing there, needing to get ready to go to work, wanting to cry, and I'm crushed. How can this women who a month ago, Loved me, talked about having children, enjoyed sex, liked me and told me as much, now hate me and call me a monster? It makes no sense.
",3.8003491620111736,4.691635520949724,4.678878212290506,87.02282569832407,71.58379888268156,7.6274413407821235,26.331173184357553,7.839951260653429,1.3242900335195529,2747,86,585,34,50,891,298,716,0.106,0.795,0.099,-0.6866,0,0,1,0,5,0,122.0,5,20,1,6,33,24,7,0,38,0,53,14,4,5,9,90,116,50,0,13,11,2,0,2,0,2,2,15,4,7,31,46,2,4,3,4,6,16,21,11,1,1,24,17,118,13,83,86,15,103,0,3,2,8,104,29,5,6,54,414,149,6,0.0,0.12523092725893856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0936919676263254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0583183607056301,0.08452400738586979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043488863067766385,0.0,0.14821540459422888,0.0,0.1986072856736837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0539630491960498,0.12088657080412067,0.053881391580160864,0.0,0.0,0.045523309359803685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05805032832172649,0.03408216637133617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10816236681541616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05407602855544802,0.0,0.059446151458884565,0.0,0.054605435649488256,0.2946938030996744,0.0,0.09560690047903947,0.044526168492475066,0.0,0.094991574363476,0.0,0.09963954947875316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11578336929068199,0.0,0.04495192571256629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465695600774215,0.1380527860766642,0.050695990013408375,0.060068729468724026,0.0,0.042266850483110234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10435162677935736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06262435974152814,0.0,0.0,0.053010197185478926,0.0,0.0,0.18293622641276014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09394629904960884,0.0,0.05503237873764742,0.0,0.08615528124986463,0.0,0.0,0.057418796316327875,0.10807998409026147,0.037327643529273716,0.0516370878981821,0.0,0.09333034987201573,0.0,0.044378460895268326,0.0,0.05768912119593452,0.04492892393216517,0.0953935865550545,0.0,0.03527601397992218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654674272111852,0.0561683655672006,0.0776977603563581,0.0783712752176761,0.0815182627078777,0.0,0.0,0.0991873089330216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09228852863488923,0.0,0.0,0.049957823966346813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05697837754700805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1057232949599178,0.0,0.06771072646680625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4622896395177282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04477738497094119,0.04068446902138878,0.0,0.0,0.1870281183536212,0.0,0.08440791794198801,0.08836549560419578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059970542240965936,0.0,0.0,0.07946925487447322,0.21238347541916264,0.0923818199053571,0.0,0.0,0.061359842190631314,0.07021885718714813,0.06772489117339259,0.0,0.0,0.1232628503128249,0.0,0.0,0.15149371215969604,0.05871534617594393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045643139294295705,0.0,0.0,0.21819513826897116,0.12584329080559295,0.042390953448964284,0.0,0.04751611097868057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11542049240934005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020958749259934
divorce,Strangeluxe,2018/04/02,"Amicable divorce- cheapest options Hi !
I'm getting divorced from my husband (see: friend) whom I married a few years back for practical purpose. We're  ready to divorce. Neither of us share property, children, no alimony, nothing. Basically, we just want to get the paperwork signed with everything to remain separate as cheaply as possible. we never even lived together. Is something like divorcewriter a good option or would you suggest something else? 

*EDIT*

I'm in Florida! 
p.s any sub $150 options maybe? ",4.041312292358803,7.346139476744192,5.054551495016611,69.76511627906979,90.27906976744184,8.038538205980066,39.863787375415285,8.418075326091056,5.210457807308972,409,29,53,12,14,133,75,86,0.047,0.8370000000000001,0.116,0.7232,0,0,2,0,4,0,21.0,3,1,0,0,3,4,0,0,3,0,2,0,0,0,1,12,8,3,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,1,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,1,6,4,10,7,2,4,0,0,1,0,14,1,0,4,4,30,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17042586226537987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1927064119661336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20935552977456925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16552793898059628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22523537092810764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19362346881609105,0.0,0.26187055589293906,0.0,0.0,0.2102028225088365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12243716060428025,0.0,0.2212964266897776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2517750760340337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19328868124838056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24047053701246365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2825292123652277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19970661600451656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3858692324008466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3014573395730064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14781841211267216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17802873225162036,0.0,0.0,0.16138696098944086
divorce,SlinkyRacoon,2018/04/02,"STD testing today Just finished getting my testing done, on the same day I filed for divorce. I felt anger and frustration for having to be in that office and for being in this circumstance. But, now that I am home, I’m glad that I took the initiative to be brave enough to care for myself and know what state I’m in physically after this abusive marriage.

How did you feel when you got tested after knowing the marriage was over?",8.40921686746988,7.071964349397592,7.998885542168676,74.6725451807229,62.13253012048193,10.227710843373494,36.41265060240964,8.841846274778883,3.115725301204819,343,13,62,4,4,109,58,83,0.128,0.768,0.104,-0.4939,0,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,2,0,0,4,5,2,0,3,0,8,1,0,1,0,11,18,6,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,6,2,8,3,14,9,2,14,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,0,7,49,14,3,0.0,0.3507409809098343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3018170119676025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19091150606746596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30293614736179764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3058727501571433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1496790331071286,0.0,0.2842302302746209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15466073969330482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23675807442936986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2969370101462939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3253749760234061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805968965233303,0.0,0.32889444425544073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Holadav,2018/04/02,What should I do Was married almost 8 years. It was perfect or I thought. We have a five year old son. I passed by our bathroom and I saw her standing looking at a pregnancy test she saw me and quickly throw it away. She walks pass me and says we are pregnant. I know I should be happy but the way she said it I scared me. Her first doctor appointment was the only time she asked me to be there. Last two other doctors visit she gave me the dates of the appointment but she would reschedule without telling me. I confronted her and she called her mom my mom and told them that I was calling her a w**** and denying the baby. Her family she you should just trust her. What should I do?,-0.12759849263446554,2.1910521223021604,1.2532990750256945,97.8663069544365,96.12230215827336,4.086467968482356,19.5686879068174,5.916634753146586,-0.09807941075710858,531,18,115,5,21,168,85,139,0.051,0.8690000000000001,0.081,0.4745,0,0,0,0,0,0,15.0,3,1,1,2,3,5,1,1,8,0,15,2,0,0,1,22,24,9,0,5,5,3,0,0,0,5,2,2,0,0,7,8,0,0,2,0,0,5,1,2,0,3,10,5,37,3,6,7,0,17,0,0,3,0,32,2,0,2,8,88,44,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17546654081384397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638154693105964,0.0,0.164633422215168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3578568200930137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587086317607133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16519031477643611,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14904970560609002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18653453853387006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09630128075486412,0.14283502990298358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1471482350719852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4104521952150364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18387336833545148,0.0,0.0,0.13326955752549144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16668291467263344,0.1393491411963748,0.17543480703501485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15315787746551476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13911225993779616,0.1021774443478298,0.0,0.0,0.1674388274483806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17117328009848795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1390886311672273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16891451168956145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12447766048323355,0.0,0.0,0.22568347347518264
divorce,no1likeFupa,2018/04/02,Well this sucks! My husband is in the army! He joined in aug and we got married after his basic in October. He called me randomly last week saying he wanted a divorce because I have changed! Back story in January he told me he slept with someone else in May! And it’s someone I can’t stand and work with. I just don’t know what to do! I know he’ll regret it.  I also just quit my job and gave up my apartment because I was supposed to move to his next duty station. ,1.4126077097505672,3.2014464285714297,3.3464625850340157,90.46441043083902,79.61224489795919,5.580045351473924,25.174603174603178,6.42735559955562,0.8215405895691617,362,14,77,3,9,122,67,98,0.07,0.907,0.023,-0.6562,1,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,1,0,0,2,5,3,1,0,2,0,7,1,1,0,0,16,16,5,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,4,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,2,2,1,0,5,1,14,1,12,9,0,14,0,1,0,0,15,7,1,2,5,48,18,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18244572509863405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17542774075106585,0.0,0.2781474824711497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23295931992813795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2413448454545576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19058404558198908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18246664876695715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2263965388495709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507626471059653,0.18596684237827615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2424797048897662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426324698070753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2426579642372247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18142832184805024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3866093301397237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21800023462904008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1345645420604545,0.0,0.1830024031944245,0.0,0.20512778770169365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16609068500289598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ll-Neeper-ll,2018/04/02,"Help 33 year old man. Just found my wife of 10 years has been cheating for at least a week, and was making plans to do it again.  I was able  to send myself an xml backup of their texts.  She told the guy she loved him. I’m pretty destroyed right now, we’ve had our fights, but in general things were ok. She just bought me a nice new wedding ring for Christmas. We have several joint bank accounts, we’ve rented our home from her mother for 10 years but do not own it. Always had plans to buy it and I don’t want to leave. We have a daughter who’s 12 and saw the whole discovery go down. She wants nothing to do with her mom.  I’m going to talk to a divorce lawyer tomorrow, from what I understand in NC we have to be separated a year. Any advice would be helpful.",2.121408653846153,3.5139291312500016,3.296250000000004,93.35144230769232,76.4375,6.4230769230769225,21.68269230769231,7.010146845296331,0.3449086538461539,591,15,136,6,13,191,110,160,0.047,0.841,0.112,0.8885,1,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,5,0,1,2,4,6,3,0,8,1,17,1,0,1,0,19,30,5,0,3,5,4,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,2,6,7,0,0,2,0,5,3,2,3,0,0,10,2,19,3,20,17,3,18,0,0,1,1,29,5,0,0,10,83,25,1,0.17503194498693195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.171039190897625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1456405997458963,0.0,0.0,0.11902772469225688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1919134933530036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19894937589765707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17330914402025266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23464044641937615,0.0,0.1755713120543682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1853335571234206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797316405409206,0.0,0.11683518242410434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20499529852561305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16904694316146365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679478718526224,0.0,0.1836665827214708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17807041317179512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14947632466054048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1977362769728584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068404728825826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11628344678826265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1672505242642297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18221442756447387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20647675214922867,0.0,0.1404000685043493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1954169158267958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12433767180688028,0.0,0.0,0.4508593356953986
divorce,throwaway99207,2018/04/02,"Washington State annulment? Looking for some help. Legally married less than a year, still havent had a ceremony (not that it matters). We've been long distance for the last two years, and now because of our jobs it looks like that will continue to be the trend with living apart, which I'm not sure I can handle. In the off chance we cant work things out, in the state of washington, is there a way to annul the marriage, due to the short amount of time we've been married or for another reason? I'm having a hard time interpreting what I'm finding on .gov websites or others. We havent lived together, bought any major items, or share any sort of accounts. No kids or anything. 
Thanks for the help
",4.4318978102189766,5.773537627737228,4.739861313868616,85.48132481751826,70.53284671532846,7.8157664233576645,28.2985401459854,8.238735603445708,1.8134502189781017,553,20,110,8,10,174,94,137,0.043,0.8340000000000001,0.123,0.8722,1,0,0,0,0,0,19.0,3,0,0,1,3,4,0,0,11,0,11,0,0,1,1,18,18,5,0,0,6,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,5,0,0,3,0,2,0,6,0,0,1,4,3,4,4,18,12,5,20,0,0,2,0,8,7,0,6,11,67,12,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27174773417449,0.20951237090641364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16442202520226204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12179892879045545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826176334258955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17898552777580912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26784940157855625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19827507097141975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.162867281709565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09761435421450744,0.0,0.35286195260796593,0.17682063710728796,0.33557080599643163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2054322361099262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15956407953804005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1883133149850517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18395307877105466,0.0,0.0,0.13274118810726926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233015145154022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19517989984590173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1585954600233357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14546000801947925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25733501002269143
divorce,zerosk8er,2018/04/02,"What did you guys do with your old photos? I'm (24m) currently losing the person who I thought was going to grow old with me (24f), and I haven't made up my mind on what to do with the photos yet. 

We've been married 6 years and together 7. Our divorce so far has been smooth. We just decided that we weren't compatible anymore. I just moved out today. We didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked to, but the ones I do have are really special to me. She was a part of my life, and I feel like I'll regret deleting the photos later in life, when I want to look back on my journey. 

 I also know that this can become a problem once I start dating again (big if). So I was just curious, what did you decide? And how did you feel about your decision? ",2.887039772727274,3.442781306250005,4.537727272727274,88.43636363636368,73.4375,7.5681818181818175,23.92045454545455,7.686295010490155,0.9217500000000004,579,15,132,7,11,196,102,160,0.058,0.8490000000000001,0.093,0.6625,1,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,4,5,0,1,12,6,0,0,6,0,20,2,0,2,0,30,31,13,0,5,5,0,3,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,7,11,0,0,7,0,0,4,3,3,0,1,12,4,25,3,17,18,1,23,0,2,1,0,14,7,0,1,14,94,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14934476470900915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18520688179236208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436000468179626,0.0,0.0,0.2062518866019748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18885390636610866,0.13341500306380405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1061349378280356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18491292212026691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10263350514133003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2638156099046054,0.18247428111653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15682386591764433,0.20892668035658668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17670837966235692,0.0,0.1893362751438537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18856534584982834,0.0,0.0,0.19848683466765007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3919276700472551,0.19888379665372974,0.12654735945981746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20223321208406356,0.0,0.0,0.16306383263865828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178695554503456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11963751867912215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13218336987727689,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14041356459410556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1482594907734567,0.0,0.0,0.17701817991004212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11015062074668804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13266260331165325,0.0,0.0,0.12026156741460806
divorce,mememurderer2002,2018/04/02,Low level persistant rage My husband filed for divorce a few months ago and just feel this low level persistent rage. I do not want to be married to him and do not understand why I'm so angry. I agreed in the MDA to allow him to live here until it is final (in the house he has claimed to hate for 2 years). It makes it harder.  ,2.808260869565217,3.699859101449277,4.328231884057973,88.61060869565218,73.92753623188406,7.259130434782609,23.94492753623189,7.554174236665415,0.9355484057971016,254,7,56,3,5,85,51,69,0.26,0.6859999999999999,0.053,-0.9482,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,0,0,2,3,5,3,0,3,0,5,0,0,2,0,10,11,4,0,1,3,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,5,0,0,0,1,5,0,10,10,1,11,0,2,0,0,5,6,0,0,5,35,9,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2943282428228555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1678864442569936,0.0,0.0,0.3637271848890165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3278149848252822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3831228327808325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2931922402295062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22163537540197129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650264931184802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3456592630660846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1958423461361959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2996091784561637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21381910835215406
divorce,FuneraryBean,2018/04/02,"Prelim Divorce Hearing/Permanent Protection Order Hearing on Wednesday. So scared. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel like jumping out of my skin. Married 8 years, Texas, two shared kids. Been a homemaker for as long because he didn’t believe women should work outside the home. 

STBX had our truck towed. He’s in deep shit because of that but assumes he is above the law. 

We’ve had a temp protection order that expired yesterday. I’m terrified he’s going to try to get into the house and I’ll have no immediate recourse.

The incident where he was arrested was the first time he put his hands on me. My injuries were minimal, and he’s always been slicker than pig shit. I’ve documented a year of texts, photos, videos, and have been recording all contentious conversations since last summer. 

I desperately need this PPO for my kids and I. He’s a bully and an emotional/mental abuser. Do I have a good chance at receiving it?

Thank you for any encouragement. I will keep my head up and push through, but it’s so hard. He’s never been held accountable for *anything*. I can’t sleep and my nerves are all over the place. ",2.466056338028168,5.2396921877934295,3.466133333333336,85.38720000000005,82.52112676056338,6.6004882629107975,25.890892018779343,7.839951260653429,1.8291684131455401,888,37,164,17,25,284,145,213,0.179,0.732,0.08900000000000001,-0.9739,1,0,0,0,2,0,31.0,1,1,0,2,4,9,2,1,12,0,20,6,6,0,3,21,30,12,0,2,2,0,4,1,0,2,0,1,1,3,5,9,0,4,2,1,1,5,4,3,0,2,11,5,16,6,21,16,2,28,0,0,0,0,21,11,2,1,11,92,21,1,0.0,0.19956175946210528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014707801814122,0.0,0.0,0.11453803299266893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13860336612960075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20534647351010027,0.0,0.0,0.18976269620762232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0851631626391673,0.12032627572343145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14326629344300865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08799761366020968,0.0,0.09572253119746947,0.14127091686459411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508800089750324,0.0,0.17285755667000893,0.0,0.1898326145818942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16894881242703946,0.0,0.0,0.1943453639946476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14970813634979993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13729275898137466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1722308718763354,0.0,0.08228628774067538,0.0,0.0,0.14905506408951308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12488855521599605,0.12990343751620706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17597328223342465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16931845970181916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1686276027355608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34578151833664805,0.13932686290176827,0.0,0.16855142811108415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101350429932669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982127651018638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435277147713857,0.0,0.16453143115225508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1226188932044682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21692652531352527
divorce,dejavudivorce,2018/04/02,"Odd and irrational behavior after separating. True colors or mid-life crisis? My STBX was a decent guy, good dad, etc, except for the dead bedroom.  I was the higher libido spouse.  Married 16 years.  Working on divorce stuff for about 7 months. 

Now that we’re divorcing (he initiated, I filed) he’s just been off.  He wanted just our son to live with him despite having a good relationship with all three kids and no other issues present. He took off to take a marginal job (not some dream career or anything)  in a different state that will put him several hours away from the kids and leaves me to sell the house by myself.   When that job didn’t work out, he failed to tell me which impacts the kids with having insurance.  I got them on with me, but it was a scramble.  He didn’t tell his own family we were divorcing or that he moved for this job. That fell on me when I went to arrange a visit for the kids. None of this behavior is from the guy I was married to.  Everyone who knows him, even casually, is baffled. 

A close relative says he is acting very similar to how her XH did when she divorced. So is this just how some people act when going through a divorce?  I just don’t get it. I’m going through it too, but I’m managing to stay level headed and just taking it one day at a time.  ETA: Separated for 1 month. ",2.9690492713393475,4.740443961832063,4.3675225537820985,84.96101318528802,75.03053435114505,7.6643997224149905,24.88619014573213,8.438071523408619,1.6065435114503814,1026,34,208,19,22,340,160,262,0.051,0.911,0.038,-0.5122,4,0,0,0,3,0,35.0,2,0,1,3,16,5,0,0,16,0,17,1,1,2,2,31,29,16,1,1,12,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,6,16,11,0,0,1,2,1,10,6,1,0,2,12,2,21,4,35,16,6,36,0,1,1,0,37,11,0,5,13,139,37,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11255957668082953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12851078657956386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821279630017781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14290762705437815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15254760592694766,0.09034293625769343,0.0,0.0,0.1307006507538224,0.0,0.0,0.12894548993521265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07146272431258817,0.0,0.15547223550588232,0.22945178091450985,0.1093967159039633,0.0,0.0,0.2708705160080567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14037735120130987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470229284289234,0.15782756589522284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1427644209911174,0.4072038042491658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07517157313447866,0.0,0.0,0.14483193179282886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12078063131586204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21835548668833826,0.1453771610733188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268673103884942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09482711748737307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13750325609311914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468522159529695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1087741936198599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1545242395602944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579095310789994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15658217171622074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20568543431160974,0.0,0.23910624026542746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797584328087875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.151969355923014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285911928840232,0.08067731324060066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12679788474997908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19915722247699694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880828458282263
divorce,HopefulDivorceKitty,2018/04/02,"Going to File for Divorce this week or next Hello. I am in my mid 20's and married just over a year.  No kids and none on the way, no property owned. 

I have decided to file for divorce. My STBX has anger/violence issues, is a child(refuses to grow the hell up and take on adult responisbilites, I blame this to the fact that his mother babies the almost 30YO still....), leaves everything to me(Bills[paying and making the money for it], working, cleaning taking care of the pets. All while I am working 40+ hours a week, a full time student and had to figure out how to get him to and from work for a smidge.... while he works ~20hrs/wk.) and is emotionally abusive.  Honestly many more things that have atrributed to this  choice but these are the big ones. 

I am honestly feeling good with my choice to file for divorce. Just nervous about the after effects since he does have violent tendencies.


 I have not told him I want a divorce yet and am honestly scared shittless to do it. I love him and honestly always will but I cannot keep going on in this relationship. Everytime I try to talk to him it turns into I am being a bitch or I am always yelling at him or something. He ALWAYS turns it around on me. 


Uhm. Unsure what else to put in here but I guess does anyone have any advice for HOW to tell someone you want a divorce?  Best way to go about all of this and any just awesome tips you may have. Thank you in advanced. ",3.3287422360248438,5.078221607142859,4.2871118012422365,86.00919254658386,74.0,7.440993788819876,25.388198757763966,8.18289091462,1.5022996894409937,1110,37,224,18,23,359,157,280,0.106,0.7490000000000001,0.146,0.953,0,0,1,0,6,0,43.0,0,3,0,7,11,14,3,2,16,0,22,1,0,4,3,40,40,20,0,2,10,1,1,0,0,2,0,1,2,2,14,14,0,1,4,0,1,6,5,5,0,1,2,2,26,9,43,35,7,36,1,0,0,1,26,17,2,6,11,158,40,5,0.0,0.14531005668708213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1198437996982024,0.0,0.0,0.12280769066675118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061425180791526,0.0,0.0,0.1668007749766512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575374921481355,0.0,0.0,0.10917688667439847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12870462912381558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1250411258027829,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21464870825707671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10245118947284113,0.13795511743610164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11022222191975864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062011199059900525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407509266183398,0.0,0.2090998767302892,0.10286582456058324,0.0,0.0,0.1351033773073532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12077711812267786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12800580431003192,0.0,0.10900935047948268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12985958119124258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1106886914702586,0.0,0.08186411621017396,0.12433917490109825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13043056705276093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08310501645388042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12328852503484145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13167101359896904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278548043751852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145026983555784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10391369753213008,0.09441537532590412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09794161561726678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1844222059749326,0.0985745471284299,0.10719402771446854,0.11291176425651778,0.0,0.0,0.0814775258931761,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07151321226478205,0.0,0.0,0.11718915544530918,0.0,0.08326549009417447,0.2667973474344517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14467420242720025,0.1946941395484446,0.1967511375509293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3571377275981965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07897706899158137
divorce,seneca333,2018/04/02,"Signed and done. It gets better I remember the first days on this sub and the people who said “ it gets better!”and they were what got me through some dark days. Signed the settlement last Friday - 15+ Months after our “last fight”  and wanted to just pay it forward a bit. 

i feel immensely poorer financially (state laws, was the primary or  sole breadwinner for 20+ years so while he left, I still paid) and  yet I have  a sense of peace. I find the anger that bubbles up  occasionally just dissipates because the behavior patterns that marked our marriage arent there. Its immensely freeing to see the psychological differences in how I react to things. I miss being in a marriage but I do not miss him. 

I know people are reading this and aching and i was also a “sodden snotty mess” - i went months when i cried daily and then- without noticing it- it was a few days and then a few weeks between tears.. Now it is like remembering a different lifetime.  It truly does get better. 

I have tried to  learn some self compassion and to trust that the universe is unfolding as it should. I have learned that I am worthy of love and respect and that I can have a relationship with a man where I am cherished. I have learned that my kids are resilient and strong and know that we will be an awesome and strong family of three - and while i am sad its not the foursome i had expected- i know that this family of mine is worth any sacrifice. I have learned  to compartmentalize and prioritize. I have learned to forgive (not forget) because I deserve the peace. But mostly, i know I can get through anything.

Do i wish the story was different? Yeah. But i know we would have had to be different people. I actually feel compassion for my ex- even after all the hurt and hatred he has flung at me and even after writing the checks to pay him off. I will never understand his behavior and I don’t think he will either. He is a lonely angry man. He has destroyed his relationships with his kids and with friends. He has paid a huge cost for the money he wrung from me and his life “without entanglements”. I can always make more money and I know I tried my best as a wife and a parent. 

I am scared sometimes to be in my 50s and single. I miss having a partner and confidant. I hate that I envy couples and that am relegated by some friends to get togethers only when their husband is away.  This life alone- esp as the kids are really on their own - is strange. I don’t know what the future holds. I also look back at what happened and vow I will never again live like that again. So the blank pages of my life stretch before me and it scares me at times but I am also excited by what I can write into this new life. 

So if you are tired and fearful and reeling from shock- i send you love and compassion and strength. You will get through this- it will change you and shape you and scar you but you can own the process and how those scars and changes can strengthen you!

I am sure i will still be on this sub- but today- I am savoring the idea of  new beginnings.",2.531971618700944,4.8784475486577215,3.4758355135934487,88.13479979524513,78.5469798657718,6.658127630531228,24.195654646797863,7.773731181650412,1.2691376180184273,2393,84,481,39,59,764,275,596,0.121,0.6970000000000001,0.181,0.9937,6,3,0,0,1,0,59.0,4,8,3,7,23,34,4,3,34,1,63,7,0,4,4,103,98,61,0,6,16,4,2,2,3,9,5,1,0,7,37,42,0,1,21,1,10,3,10,15,0,2,13,6,79,20,52,71,15,56,1,6,2,2,54,19,0,6,37,356,116,8,0.0,0.0,0.07621281421829335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08088643335683332,0.0,0.18736588918110814,0.06498416064420467,0.0,0.0,0.05310961913100564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06426836390572188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07337605773985309,0.06005288169049835,0.0,0.09521617154639456,0.0,0.0664560224971899,0.0,0.08195949729993772,0.20721517783917906,0.08526327208546672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16523559373953914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08641444136749654,0.08578747206184359,0.1511011038137647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32638500077082105,0.0,0.0,0.06834447348395985,0.07992182206011356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10316656965021713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14724852234753036,0.08788246067267917,0.07897783842765242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138056173544627,0.06643049544561401,0.0,0.0,0.12067732616349128,0.0,0.2448192774305935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06246245903840735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06906219493641523,0.0,0.0,0.07710604337436246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08360599815760694,0.08816363560876535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30044603151715216,0.1273213088863236,0.0,0.0,0.08485418648300876,0.0,0.2206529588363084,0.07630990837587237,0.0,0.06896235571479978,0.0,0.06558302225442471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14097378736801958,0.0,0.052131316932158465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12467486368654054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12046866721966018,0.15085592520193974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08891559462231759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05939738490751115,0.0,0.0,0.08671907826676321,0.0,0.0,0.16243087992655258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07811957722610734,0.0,0.05003186220468145,0.0,0.0,0.16769699982062056,0.1769406223461345,0.0,0.07428950335054951,0.0,0.156380331009061,0.0,0.06223434737520135,0.0,0.08147370835099675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07724135678091684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12473903441363555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0736068579672599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051885135048430814,0.05004232859139855,0.0,0.0,0.045539829976797015,0.08976267111375487,0.07402819184788298,0.0,0.0,0.1060474321243927,0.0,0.0,0.08130323311769534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04606448495257992,0.0,0.06264585989114657,0.0,0.0,0.07239803879766495,0.0,0.0,0.08980935480445136,0.15056822358504604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055478892924926825,0.0,0.0,0.050292836526846865
divorce,orgonaccumulator,2018/04/03,"Where now? My wife has today informed my daughter she is leaving after 20 years of marriage.  She is 17 and just about to start her final exams to get her into university.  She had told me this weekend when it slipped out but we could not discuss this as my mother was visiting/staying over.  I asked her if she could hold back for another 6 weeks until the exams were finished.  
My daughter found out when the council called (we live in the UK) and left an answer phone message.  I rushed home as my tearful wife called - daughter had run out of the house.
My daughter is bright, fun, open and honest but sensitive.  You can imagine what I walked into when I returned home.  I have just had to cuddle my crying daughter to sleep - she just wants her mother back, the one that is in the house is not her.  ""She said she would never do what her mother did to her"" was just one of her many comments.  My wife's mother walked out of her parents marriage when she was 7 and this has had a profound effect on her entire life.  Everything has changed but how do I help my wee girl?

EDIT - I wanted my wife to delay any action for 6 weeks to minimise any impacts towards my daughter and her studies.  For some time I have been asking her to go with me for counselling but this is/was not something that she wanted to speak about.",4.108194614443087,5.425741182170544,4.432921256629951,87.46632190942475,71.28682170542633,6.206772745818036,27.144838841289268,6.05967700443912,0.995012403100775,1027,35,200,5,19,322,135,258,0.027000000000000003,0.909,0.064,0.89,1,0,1,0,0,0,27.0,2,1,0,1,15,3,0,0,8,0,26,3,1,2,1,43,37,18,0,7,12,15,0,0,0,1,1,2,2,1,9,15,0,2,5,1,0,6,4,0,0,2,13,3,45,3,35,21,1,41,0,0,1,1,55,14,0,2,21,153,54,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18744626281279855,0.14451752857758615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2576884056360565,0.0,0.0,0.21195196704868374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28146167698276353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14579653854102115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2200780020860812,0.0,0.15139009935736908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12386479367780985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15097637074247974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1511138148921936,0.0,0.0,0.07200588043146566,0.0,0.07832695512195333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09237863468312596,0.0,0.2764917701889994,0.0,0.0,0.3180542848865005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14593273435414775,0.14974311998948714,0.0,0.09734717832006114,0.0,0.0,0.12169863072845286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1397290489789409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629619373028447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18678240262920354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530341151155564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1310995069926018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792071710016626,0.0,0.0,0.10610148099962838,0.0,0.0,0.0975505436015918,0.14689904476014595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036464088759902,0.0,0.13063836769800416,0.1316940477853669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2438715159524625,0.0,0.22110368158212146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09790421503604588,0.0,0.0,0.08875232403717999
divorce,Cyanidesuicideml,2018/04/03,"Help me My husband wants a divorce.  He was fine all weekend came home Sunday and decided he wanted a divorce.  I don't know what to expect.  He says i can't get alimony. Im disabled, i m a sahm. He is threatening to tell my abusive ex we are going to divorce so i lose custody.  Im scared hw will shut off the phone.  Im broken. I am terrified.  We went from planning dinner to 4 hrs llater he wants a divorce. He is acting really odd. People agree that something is wrong.... like a mental break. I don't know where he is either.",-0.6939545454545453,1.490680763636366,2.216704545454548,91.41505681818184,95.9090909090909,4.568181818181818,20.51136363636364,6.322622252153567,0.42559090909090935,404,15,84,5,16,141,73,110,0.209,0.705,0.086,-0.9425,0,0,1,0,4,0,18.0,2,0,0,2,2,5,0,1,6,0,11,1,0,0,1,13,20,2,0,4,1,2,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,2,4,1,0,3,1,0,4,3,3,0,0,3,1,11,2,6,16,2,10,0,1,0,0,19,3,0,0,3,41,13,0,0.0,0.2237273865559367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21596611274620015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09865355056210633,0.0,0.10731390521436847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12656577841922534,0.0,0.18940741135933029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6118919537475295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.207547155874354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0922506203354402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21124747827022286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902917309194868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13090785328556906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12096647534118765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15016164739522714,0.18904730526984373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14536712498743545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16504184377690553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3341225853431881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17504316627552247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20645108440213772,0.0,0.0
divorce,nomad891,2018/04/03,"How to support my kids alone Hi everyone, I recently decided to leave my husband because he’s fairly violent and angry and I’ve reached my limit. I don’t want to put my kids (3 and 1) through this any longer. I’m also struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety, for which I need help. I’m currently not working and haven’t been because I stayed home to care for our kids. I wanted to go back to school and work once they were in school; that as the plan. As of now I don’t have a degree or professional work experience and I haven’t worked in 7 years. I’m terrified and shattered.

How do I support my kids on my own from home while caring for them?? There may be spousal and child support but I’m worried it won’t be enough. How do I take care of my family so that I can give them a healthy environment, a healthy parent, and a good life that doesn’t have to change more than it has to? I love my children so much, I want to give them a good life whilst taking care of my health needs. Thank you!",2.5086566742081438,4.028325697115385,3.7615723981900473,89.88636877828057,75.68269230769229,7.394117647058824,25.696832579185518,8.124751697461798,1.3748757918552028,787,28,175,13,17,257,118,208,0.092,0.687,0.221,0.9842,2,1,0,0,0,0,21.0,1,1,4,6,9,14,1,1,6,0,17,4,0,3,0,25,40,21,0,5,3,2,0,0,0,2,3,0,2,6,7,11,0,1,1,0,0,2,7,3,0,0,2,0,27,11,24,34,4,13,0,1,0,1,20,3,0,2,7,108,34,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254665343251552,0.0,0.08690128006062303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389755797367249,0.0,0.08313026312523457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08355852252043193,0.0,0.1324852761516613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4431746240698402,0.0,0.11495569980987907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09359507189382224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11228247223407904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10383635699075956,0.0,0.10629756827787236,0.10244195302806904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20848734282053186,0.061758187335069985,0.18229011789757907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11550836407328585,0.0,0.0,0.0728374672248617,0.0,0.21800452364516107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1150630856584446,0.0,0.0,0.15350999578294014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09807657064061444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07988304200943283,0.16115099950970818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572723386856805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12066228714301523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10924075056037466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10729594720055158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21995441938962534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11582498913068537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1136027601021489,0.0,0.0,0.3699434313054709,0.0,0.0,0.1634087210874512,0.0,0.0,0.1000463414660231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19228454297029612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3164446440188025,0.11035701895832528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06997824242978573
divorce,RottenBummer,2018/04/03,"Taking the steps to file. What qualities should I look for in a lawyer? We have a house, 2 kids, and 2 cars. The STBX crossed a line and I'm ready to end the farce of a marriage we've had. We've been married nearly 9 years and it's been rocky the entire time. We've discussed divorce in the past but just kept trudging along. I'm at the point where I have to put my own sanity and well being before the family unit I've tried to maintain.  ",0.9787115839243477,2.8215723085106386,2.4173758865248267,96.33388888888894,81.23404255319149,5.454373522458629,18.955082742316783,6.42735559955562,-0.1902846335697399,343,8,80,3,9,111,64,94,0.023,0.923,0.054000000000000006,0.3716,0,0,0,0,1,0,9.0,1,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,11,0,7,0,0,0,0,10,12,5,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,2,6,0,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,0,4,1,4,1,11,6,1,14,0,0,1,0,5,6,0,0,4,44,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.271282921085607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.282370087643432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3005446893068753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3678627052398111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2677192101220777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30433920108095824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30137749038327266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3204910338620916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2397046417877513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1859000529616376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21645033873001795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2866475186984609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20530250066140884
divorce,LetsHackThisIsh,2018/04/03,"Two questions for those who had a long road to finally 'doing the deed' What was the thing that finally convinced you it was OK to move forward with divorcing, what was the 'sign' that meant it was time?

What did you say? Where and when and how did you deliver the news?",6.0655974842767275,5.821967132075473,5.771698113207545,85.14861635220126,66.35849056603774,10.085534591194973,30.874213836477992,9.725611199111238,2.475847798742139,210,7,45,4,3,65,37,53,0.0,0.89,0.11,0.733,0,0,0,0,0,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,3,2,0,0,5,1,8,0,0,1,0,8,9,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,10,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,8,1,3,2,4,1,0,9,0,0,0,0,7,3,0,1,6,36,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6814765231506886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2752680000729749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3305951684796342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3484453367890623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2473581310881283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20664670128650126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18137479324413625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3038490391391677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Throwaway_MD_,2018/04/03,"Not sure where I am My STBXW moved out about two weeks ago. We ha been going to counselling for about two months when she pulled away all of a sudden. She said she could never get back to where the relationship could work. She's moved out aside from some small stuff and a TV in the guest room. Everything is amicable between us; we know how the assets are going to be divided up and thanks to a change to Maryland's divorce laws in 2015, we'll be able to get through court quickly as we don't have any kids. We'll be going to a mediator to get the legal paperwork sorted out, so at least that won't be as stressful.

However, it's been tough at times; I broke down a few times the weekend she moved out. I broke down twice this past weekend when I went to meet my family for Easter dinner. The first time all it took was seeing my dad for the first time without my STBXW. Then eventually it was crying on the floor of a bathroom at a restaurant because I couldn't face anyone. It feels like I hit the low point but at the same time, feels like the lowest point may be coming still.

I can't control what I think about. I go from missing my STBXW to feeling generally lonely, being angry at her for ""walking out of the relationship"", wondering if I could ever love someone again, wondering how I'll react when the first time I try to be intimate with another woman, or even when that may be. I try to distract myself with work and planning on how to clean up/rearrange some things in the house. I already went and added some home automation stuff that my STBXW wouldn't have been on board with just to try and make it my place. But that only goes so far, I find myself way too often going between states of depression where I can't do anything all the way to hyper focused when things actually get me motivated.

I have my first one on one counselling session today and I'm hoping that therapy will really help me progress. I just don't know what to do with myself, in a philosophical sense anyway. I'm almost on auto-pilot with feeding myself/keeping myself clean day to day, but I just don't what my future looks like.",6.85661508704062,5.971276300236411,7.0561540941328165,78.7193181818182,64.95744680851064,9.865849989254244,31.047603696539866,8.97023862654752,2.3275777777777766,1677,50,336,23,22,543,210,423,0.07400000000000001,0.81,0.116,0.9601,2,2,0,0,1,0,37.0,6,0,0,10,28,17,0,2,23,1,37,4,1,7,6,69,69,24,0,7,10,1,3,3,1,7,0,1,4,2,18,20,2,1,10,3,0,14,11,9,0,9,9,6,45,8,64,40,9,84,0,6,2,1,23,34,0,13,36,242,63,5,0.08413922525545929,0.0,0.08210774662016923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07458434651861319,0.0,0.08425328020743543,0.0,0.0928497273237762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05721755843068713,0.08822731391454491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0588321026330473,0.0,0.06923941325863307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0790515718214306,0.0646978706170241,0.0,0.05129049076367384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08900814385714409,0.07247849236142229,0.0,0.0,0.09436929562753844,0.2015349746862403,0.0,0.0924229880694784,0.10852567925067322,0.0,0.07246899142211258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05557316474529836,0.0761087463051171,0.0,0.0,0.07561891033104326,0.0,0.07931897337156281,0.0,0.12762996117003042,0.12021815866862452,0.0,0.0,0.07690172757290176,0.2862751280790021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17583708991008593,0.0,0.2390913035094221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056396749109985066,0.0,0.08439850322432255,0.08356923554979971,0.0,0.09708536919617478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07478680937092941,0.0,0.0,0.09248143553912608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12331852627016338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706557582092106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593893580773067,0.0,0.056163586209810684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06715912686387505,0.2682800423760853,0.0,0.0,0.06489335753571418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140298331467281,0.06399167226547538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032041105812011,0.0,0.0,0.08790758227073124,0.0,0.15907752813486412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05390174220664275,0.0,0.0,0.1806680793966673,0.0,0.0,0.08003567090665198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06704806898638434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712908925168445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719369397607784,0.0,0.09638119825336064,0.0,0.1926385655684532,0.0,0.0,0.0793002240564408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07746409415380262,0.09622053688580924,0.0,0.11179672514670767,0.05391301815068721,0.0,0.0,0.29437355325710485,0.0,0.07975414740079602,0.0,0.09348177514240738,0.1713750327139714,0.0,0.16438359433396746,0.0,0.10120912819275704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13357160129843346,0.0674914113000992,0.0,0.0,0.15599580953327427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08110721063100765,0.18249080130098727,0.12250871615862136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Fleeted-Fox,2018/04/03,"STBXW keeps reaching out to my family. My STBXW keeps contacting my family members to talk, talk about me, and hang out with them. My sister just texted me to say that she wanted to take our kids to hang out with her and her kids today. 

Does this happen to anyone else?",3.946132075471698,5.3746571509433965,4.271839622641512,88.03530660377363,71.83018867924528,7.564150943396226,18.910377358490567,8.07648339933343,0.5168150943396221,211,3,43,3,4,66,33,53,0.0,0.967,0.033,0.2023,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,11,5,2,0,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,2,7,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,1,11,0,12,5,0,6,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,0,1,28,13,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17744478016671444,0.26002159744206643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22207946123926808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21199573150192125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4784713502678841,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244116350838521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4511322340786167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018113829407461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1908065717051436,0.4079480840288695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24054821295760595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968256362285462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,claude_speed88,2018/04/03,"STBXW and I are filing amicably. Will my income status affect proceedings? 32/m here. STBXW and I were married for 4 1/2 years. No kids, no major assets we shared. Thankfully we are being civil throughout all this.

We are currently separated and will be filing our paperwork this week. We are divorcing in CA. During our separation, I got a new job and when I filled out my new hire paperwork, I listed my status for State/Federal tax as Single. When we did our tax return for 2017, we filed as married.

Will my current status with my job affect the proceedings at all?",3.154010195412063,5.7759545794392535,4.966253186066272,76.78237892948175,77.97196261682242,8.003058623619372,23.74596431605777,8.841846274778883,2.236259813084112,448,15,76,11,11,152,66,107,0.042,0.889,0.069,0.4329,5,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,9,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,11,0,0,2,2,16,13,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,2,12,0,0,0,0,2,1,2,0,0,0,3,0,19,2,9,5,4,15,0,0,0,0,12,3,0,0,11,55,21,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25023384038455976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6209581394620257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6043511268878441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2880522523137837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2509685713000128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2014805344151984
divorce,projectgrubworm,2018/04/03,Can I get the court to order a prenatal paternity test? Is that even an option or do I have to wait for the next 6 months to find out its mine or the homewreckers ?,4.4105714285714255,3.843953628571427,6.069285714285716,82.71821428571431,69.85714285714286,10.428571428571429,26.07142857142857,10.125756701596842,2.018428571428572,127,3,30,3,2,44,29,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,5,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,6,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,6,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,22,5,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36288838151113106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5021622141233413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28705058124522564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4385438001062233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5843170650136329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FamiliarMud,2018/04/03,"Separation before divorce? This has been a long time coming, you can look up my post history for details.

In a nutshell, my (37/M) wife's(37/F) undiagnosed depression put a strain on our marriage, and by the time I recognized that it might be depression, it was already too late. I had checked out of the marriage.

I fell in love with a coworker (35/F) after we bonded over our own individual relationship woes. She was dealing with pregnancy and becoming a single mother because she kicked the father out. I was dealing with frustrations over my ""lazy"" wife. I realize how bad that sounds, I've gotten beaten up plenty everywhere else I've posted about this.

Because I was married, I knew I couldn't pursue anything with my coworker, even if she were interested. I knew that I needed to focus on my marriage, and either fix it, or give it a proper burial.

While trying to figure out how to start that talk with my wife, I found myself pining over my coworker. It was then that I realized it was significantly more than a crush. I determined to get past it, because I couldn't think about her. My attempts to get her out of my head backfired, and I ended up bringing a 19 year old into our bed when my wife was at work. On more than one occasion. The whole affair only lasted a couple weeks. About a week after it ended, the OW told my wife. That was three weeks ago.

My wife wants to get past it, and stay married. She knows about everything, and is working to address all of the problems that built up in our marriage. We're trying to find a therapist, and she's being amazingly forgiving and kind. And very friendly in the bedroom. But I feel empty and I worry I'm leading her on, or giving her false hope.

Ok, that was a longer summary than I intended. Anyways, I don't think I can get back to a place of loving her properly, but I've been trying for the kids. But since everything is still pretty raw in my head, I'm afraid to make a permanent decision. I printed off the forms to file for separation, and I'm looking for an apartment.

My question for everybody here: is separation a good idea? Should I just stay home while I try to figure everything out? Or go straight to divorce?",4.297743794326241,5.827827695035462,5.5218136820330965,79.01796875000002,71.10401891252954,8.597192671394799,29.530806737588648,9.103633062298675,2.5858842198581558,1717,69,319,35,32,572,217,423,0.051,0.868,0.08,0.9271,0,0,0,0,2,0,64.0,5,1,0,5,14,19,2,2,25,1,26,4,2,5,1,63,56,24,1,8,9,7,1,0,1,2,0,1,4,1,19,24,0,0,16,0,1,6,3,9,0,2,18,4,54,10,61,32,8,61,0,3,2,2,43,27,0,7,24,226,73,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08493172413771423,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10573113254209383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884526741642571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07367365883096283,0.07999917532829894,0.17521866245786036,0.1058170346282615,0.08152911552111945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08253371661065008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601436420967776,0.0,0.0,0.19755631851004532,0.16504579513786394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08003878914884117,0.0,0.16972232091179287,0.0,0.0,0.06328304688477128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2583294510823904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048445521344951496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08757060451425121,0.0,0.0,0.10505311932731956,0.07402425917063515,0.0,0.2002316559775036,0.1838235634405572,0.05445227472314473,0.08036271794393145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1966618944572104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09610743712415956,0.0951631219071412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1081602985284419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997736503566564,0.05265587310005237,0.078099721518333,0.10808032192478154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847907717978594,0.16091621486468696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17294848177624533,0.0,0.06395537982445093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164159093481133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07104352374854275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10053877449663813,0.0,0.06492481857349637,0.07286948682463873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18292715061634654,0.0,0.0,0.10010334440843993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18352318331542544,0.09747544081849686,0.0,0.09167932468564167,0.0,0.0963177129568728,0.1073315787809594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1028664337494668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07925683243154323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06781636017020648,0.2042460894692704,0.07651573750996173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07701020782336958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1112453355842233,0.0,0.1227851633415608,0.0,0.0,0.1117377152431119,0.0,0.0,0.09155265206271072,0.0,0.26020074688500305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07905508978510485,0.056512511191571274,0.0,0.23056427496248916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10697088682122023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950482870628805,0.09730192826649953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616999080746287
divorce,sohardtolove,2018/04/03,"Coparenting with the fear of what he could do My XH stays quiet most times, but rears his ugly head every so often. Today was one of those wonderful occasions. He sent an email (I have blocked every other method of communication) stating that our children have smelled weird the past few months and he is concerned about it. I replied that our teenagers are in charge of their own cleaning and laundry at my house and he could deal with it how he sees fit when they are with him. 

The XH replied with a more detailed email accusing me of living in a hoarder house that reeks of cat piss and generally not providing a sanitary home for our children. It was written in a more structured manner which makes me think he's positioning to make a strike at full custody.

For background, the only messy part of my house are my kids' rooms. My daughter has one cat who will occasionally find a pile of clean laundry and pee on it. The only thing I can do about that is rewash what he gets to and not leave out clean laundry. I asked my boyfriend about my house and he admitted that the cat box gets stinky - I have made plans to fix that.

My XH is engaged and his fiance wants nothing more than her own family. Combine that with the ex's desire to completely remove me from our children's lives and now I'm super paranoid that he is laying the groundwork for a legal battle. Is there anything I can do to prepare, or do I just continue to do my best and wait to see what happens?",7.95540069686411,6.644089191637637,7.411968641114981,78.4351655052265,63.00696864111498,10.151219512195123,35.48257839721254,8.841846274778883,2.8191853658536585,1166,43,230,14,14,365,161,287,0.099,0.7809999999999999,0.12,0.8698,1,0,1,0,0,0,19.0,4,0,2,3,10,8,2,1,16,0,24,3,3,4,0,38,41,15,0,4,5,2,0,0,0,1,0,1,5,4,20,16,0,2,4,0,0,2,2,5,0,2,5,5,29,3,35,33,10,21,0,0,2,0,32,10,1,4,7,157,49,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10585877363994346,0.0,0.12025991528332493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13499848673672588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13487533686210731,0.0,0.0,0.20541523256560715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1326209567648614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21676747833826449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12126921434369672,0.14475441641734574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757353490636906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13441692976779598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11375486812728307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1320205235591047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12903520737532576,0.0,0.0,0.5937276263794324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1362099177661887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22718083858488586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12172114518821073,0.17173479899905128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267826479093924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12343240031171472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17433796341096144,0.1956712118252326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1393032872408049,0.12280029267591468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.205016941183857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13711184742247962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546190431153534,0.08242655037155686,0.0,0.0,0.07501032016603222,0.0,0.12193454333605118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07587449857271994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13950329384026391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Seanv112,2018/04/03,"The greatest liar is you. The truth is the deepest lies do not come from the cheater, or the narcassist.. It's the lies you tell your self. The no contact that you really don't follow.. those stupid texts you send when you know you shouldn't. You need to go no contact, even if you have kids... You need to talk the absolute  minimum about them. Even if you aren't co parenting well at first.. You need to heal before you can.. Don't let them guilt you about it.. What about the damage they did to your family? It ok because that's past we need to move on and co parent... You do you first.. You heal your soul, you give your kids all you can when you see them but you don't need tons of communication with your ex.

Don't let them guilt you, they are over you.. You need time to heal.",0.8580891487029589,2.9875614658385103,1.735827548410672,99.48570697844356,83.40993788819874,5.527365728900256,16.30288637194008,6.794906146795322,-0.5090952868103762,600,11,145,7,17,186,81,161,0.09,0.841,0.069,-0.3697,2,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,28,6,2,8,8,2,2,9,1,17,3,0,0,2,19,29,7,0,9,5,3,0,0,0,1,3,0,0,3,7,4,0,0,1,0,0,5,9,5,1,2,1,1,35,3,15,25,3,14,1,1,1,0,47,3,0,3,6,101,42,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09132911049510012,0.0,0.1274861049995774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12905698773470795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19790989043062188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412373166165915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2548742702111493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14372135623198762,0.0851463721696137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0823373603892315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3064029697590609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592353492754961,0.0,0.6665394616577585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33271559452269744,0.0,0.14302050121412174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09597876909681312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11938744218991718,0.0,0.15629532655192122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12041994295971688,0.13094961203504962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08736146594283972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470651053307006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,notanaprilfools,2018/04/03,"Those of you who initiated divorce, how did you do it? My post history describes my current situation, but TL;DR: I found out yesterday that my [31F] husband [44M] of 8 years is cheating on me with my best friend [31F], and neither of them know that I know. I am devastated, hurt, betrayed, numb, enraged. I'm feeling everything, but right now I'm having to pretend everything is OK while I get my shit together.

Today I met with a lawyer and we talked about assets etc. and went over getting the process started. I see my therapist tomorrow and will be telling her everything of course, and figuring things out with her will help, but I will need to come to a decision on how to tell him that I know, and I'm out.

My lawyer went over a few options, like her emailing or snail mailing him the papers. Or I could give them to him. Or a sheriff could get involved (hopefully unnecessary). I have no idea how he's going to react.

How did you do it? Would you have done it differently? What was the reaction? Thanks. I feel so sick and appreciate any advice.",3.4792647058823505,5.339461730392159,4.7654901960784315,82.26970588235295,73.85294117647058,8.329411764705883,30.137254901960784,9.007467420416297,2.610419607843137,819,37,161,18,17,271,124,204,0.177,0.687,0.136,-0.917,2,0,0,0,1,0,38.0,1,4,2,1,7,11,3,0,7,1,19,3,1,5,0,41,42,19,0,5,6,1,2,1,1,4,2,0,0,0,10,15,0,0,9,1,0,4,2,5,0,0,8,3,32,6,21,27,4,21,0,1,1,0,27,8,1,5,9,114,42,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14247526142874706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914982702969342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1530093816090897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255948379851495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2328208150158497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15233123914750854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14920526569041032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16260689732812858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3931101965096624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1474429519060371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15986350843731084,0.112645658275214,0.0,0.2285253538619968,0.13986581252049468,0.08286219138826141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09772748213410412,0.0,0.0,0.14481350615132918,0.0,0.0,0.15608321791055993,0.16459182656451646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.240385606848376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07123110973038753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10810975467377623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139637262330953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245134423382875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116184692688837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14966285362757098,0.0,0.1638866762980668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10319885154936248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11718949505699007,0.2548733795270068,0.1342341712407315,0.0,0.16928645010881774,0.0968638497062931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13820250525490024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2703183770296261,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10357300103653032,0.0,0.0,0.09389120321441652
divorce,donttextspeaktome,2018/04/03,"My sanctuary Just wanted to share some thoughts that might help some of you who might be going through a rough time:

It has been a year since our official separation, since I moved out with absolutely nothing but a new job that allowed me to rent an apartment, and the beat up car that was luckily paid up. Our divorce, and our assets division, should be finalized by the end of this month. 

I’ve gone a few weeks where I ate nothing but Ramen.. then found homemade Ramen was much cheaper. (who knew?)  There was one weekend where a friend was hosting a dinner party and when she asked if I wanted to take leftovers home, I didn’t decline because that fed me for the next 3 days. I swallowed my pride and took hand me down clothing. But it’s ok. Because whatever decisions I make now are my own. And I have a place to call my own that I call my sanctuary.

I LOVE coming to my new home. I love walking in and seeing the small bunch of fresh flowers I buy for myself every two weeks. My furniture is garage sale and thrift store but it’s mine, my choice. MY paintings hang on the wall,  MY books adorn my shelves. Thoughtful gifts from amazing friends dot my room and cabinets: a cutting board, measuring spoons, a mixing bowl, a tool box; reminders that ALL is not lost. That I’m not a bad person or they wouldn’t be my friends. 

I have never lived alone in my entire life. I was very, very scared when I left my 18 year old marriage. There were a lot of hurt feelings, tears and broken trust, but I did it because life with him just didn’t make sense anymore. 

Over the past year, I have heard the words “You are stronger than you think, and you are a lot more together than you give yourself credit for.” 

I never believed it. But today, looking back, I do. 

There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. If this is what you truly want, if you have tried to work it out, if you have given it your all and decided you are truly done with your marriage, it’s not going to be an easy road but there IS the other side waiting for you, and you will be a wiser, stronger and hopefully happier person at the end of it. You just have to hang in there. You are stronger than you think. 

❤️

",4.3577931034482775,5.0567528252873615,4.637011494252874,88.53413793103451,70.17241379310343,7.563218390804598,27.873563218390807,7.503015589744147,1.3602183908045973,1689,56,359,17,29,530,227,435,0.036000000000000004,0.731,0.233,0.9984,5,1,0,0,1,0,54.0,3,16,1,4,14,17,1,1,28,1,39,9,1,3,4,67,72,28,0,10,18,0,3,0,3,5,2,1,4,2,22,19,4,1,9,2,7,10,8,5,0,2,23,7,60,12,39,39,12,58,0,2,2,2,41,22,0,12,26,247,82,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1012556093128774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695713994979414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913975774827996,0.0,0.0,0.0751756614083893,0.08163013772981059,0.1787908874131699,0.0,0.0,0.11014827857499997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19965908335668892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0842163513140277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06305068188223578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004808537411547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25977373594784825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08237167950142284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04943319182419075,0.0,0.0,0.10709736442311156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1071948625025616,0.2266002285641797,0.0,0.0,0.09378560928945724,0.11112481265239822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06553017703971427,0.0,0.19613360505552788,0.09710323532961188,0.0,0.0,0.1046600268343346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09701720763044824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10622253941129822,0.0,0.13810937673006052,0.0,0.0,0.08632875820780063,0.0,0.08209842619288597,0.0,0.1067226299220724,0.16623352279276235,0.17647442401274988,0.0,0.13051850702729714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20742756492267805,0.0,0.0,0.07803551698768349,0.10390929117114832,0.07186891698455825,0.0,0.15080561468972775,0.18884512508289286,0.10397475518299466,0.0,0.0,0.1876173344176993,0.0,0.10258848263956782,0.0,0.06624845644330926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0933282651855787,0.0,0.1707301876570789,0.10214417533358053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09788035547950284,0.0,0.07790647333732292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1617453210202476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350751495542752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252884139569795,0.0,0.1552298279274855,0.0570078694403932,0.0,0.09267029538587912,0.0,0.1086211062116722,0.06637638050160266,0.0,0.09550272142567748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16133360977579642,0.1729939359909968,0.0,0.15684322947517654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07117447357760201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888733967586396
divorce,throwaway6678r4,2018/04/03,house and debt My wife walked out 3 months ago. I have been left with trying to figure out what to do with the house and debts. She never put any money into the house but she stayed at home to take care of the kids and since we are married she is entitled to half the equity. The problem is I can't manage the mortgage payments with property taxes owing on top and she isn't willing to contribute at all. We have agreed to sell and split the proceeds 50/50. Should it really be on me to continue to cover the mortgage and expenses and taxes and costs for prepping the house to list and sell? Should she not be equally responsible for the outstanding property taxes owing at the very least? She doesn't pay 2 cents into the house or taxes in 5 years but still gets 50% out and hardly any debt? Marriage is for fools and I apparantly am one of them. ,4.980338891877351,5.653632639053253,5.6231199569661126,82.11191500806886,68.76331360946746,8.749004841312534,26.606239913932214,8.841846274778883,1.8380011834319527,672,19,133,11,11,218,99,169,0.083,0.812,0.105,0.6112,5,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,2,0,1,1,1,3,0,0,12,0,17,0,0,0,2,31,22,14,0,3,4,1,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,2,21,0,0,1,0,16,2,5,2,0,2,1,1,14,1,28,16,3,23,0,0,0,0,12,13,0,1,7,95,16,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268546192692494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.194633644431797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1459058569857195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07476685167574046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12819464963481786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354674262305284,0.0,0.0,0.8256241504322738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15548482394257568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11422565010536075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1103719821590436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09697216469915916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13693288280597446,0.0,0.1438608120826238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09167721250821033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11837856118742747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1525316963708742,0.11428444257405425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075977196990758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09715941544454712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180772369547672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09215541574386972
divorce,socksoft,2018/04/03,"Judge mediation Hi, new to the sub and reddit. I mostly lurk but I wondered if you good people had any tips for me. The judges in our county volunteer their time to mediate with lawyers to try to come up with settlements. It looks like that’s what we’re doing in June. A few points
I’m F, married 11’yrs, 5yo child 
Ex, M was emotionally and verbally abusive. 
I have a job, parents are amazing and helping me out. 
Ex wants 50/50 custody despite lots of travel etc with his job and no one to care for child. I work from home, plus my mom helps anytime needed. 
Ex wants to give me 0$ even tho I worked while married to pay off his school loans including mba (my school was paid for) and moved 15 times for his job. 

Has anyone done this type of mediation? We tried regular mediation but he badgered on and on and it was right after I finally broke down and filed and I let him shove me into a temp agreement I am very unhappy with. 

Thank you for reading!",2.8855562827225114,4.624393193717278,4.016410340314138,87.52890870418852,75.17801047120419,7.288089005235602,25.550065445026174,8.07648339933343,1.431421204188482,744,26,156,12,16,242,134,191,0.092,0.7609999999999999,0.147,0.9273,4,0,0,0,0,0,22.0,2,2,1,2,2,7,0,0,5,0,11,0,0,0,0,27,22,15,0,4,3,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,2,5,18,0,0,1,2,3,3,1,1,0,1,6,1,23,6,30,15,4,21,0,1,1,0,21,11,0,4,8,95,28,11,0.0,0.17168209537659215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0985365611001674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10131702985500783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14773459577060538,0.0,0.0,0.12481800319513453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14828239463057072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1629923225503723,0.0,0.0,0.16160113389893555,0.09570468740095447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15873021053724762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13900070826268687,0.0,0.12153474236977448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19424602751124828,0.0,0.14534591299977392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4313708897282731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14816945416780353,0.0,0.07079052789551557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12167900250924645,0.0,0.0,0.12318828858849755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16970442651610365,0.0,0.15400513124871296,0.0,0.10744106940041727,0.0,0.1399447438543677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09818758375294703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16089363648240707,0.0,0.0,0.10045499971769828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13697676902548314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14493861225914267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12374329624482827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2932918580768164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13340390006158512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1689840112741522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19675436288227086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11955718044224815,0.17093084116763033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15713721876473025,0.21097697850373112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,warriorwomangoddess,2018/04/04,"Need input: divorce almost finalized but our living situations have changed, and not sure if I need to change the actual decree or just leave it. Sorry for the wordy title, lol. My STBEX husband and I have filed for divorce (in AZ) and worked with a Mediator. We got everything all signed and ready to go and the 60 day wait ends on April 30th, when she can then finally submit it to the court. However, what she doesn't know, is that in the meantime, since we signed the agreement, almost two months ago, my husband has lost his job, and I have changed my living situation (not living with my boyfriend, and will be finding a small apartment for myself, long story). That means that I won't technically require child support until I actually have the kids stay with me. I unfortunatlly won't be able to afford to have a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment at this time. ( I will still visit them and hang out at the ex's new place). However, I will need spousal support. The tricky thing is that we opted against spousal support, and only for child support. Does it really make a difference as far as what it's called? Will the courts somehow find out that my kids are temporarily n ot living with me? I suffer from anxiety, so I am probably making ithis out to be a much bigger issue then it really is.  My soon to be ex doesn't think we should change anything as if we do at this point, we'd have to meed again with the mediator and re file which is more money out the door that we can't afford, and more time to wait.  Also, I won't be on his health insurance, since of course, we all lost it when he lost his job. I did get on AHCCCS (government medical and food assistance).  but I guess it's not a big deal to change this on the decree. I just feel weird signing something that isn't completely true, but maybe i'm being paranoid, as we aren't intentionally doing anything wrong. It's just temporary changing circumstances. ",6.492989914464445,6.305047013404831,6.806847950976639,77.89674709562111,65.46112600536193,10.000204264011236,31.702923528660804,9.606745405546679,2.7174178220349803,1508,52,295,27,21,489,195,373,0.093,0.8390000000000001,0.068,-0.6884,7,0,1,0,2,0,49.0,10,0,1,5,11,13,0,0,19,1,37,3,0,3,4,69,60,30,0,6,13,4,1,0,0,8,2,0,2,4,22,29,1,3,6,0,1,3,11,6,0,1,5,1,39,7,40,40,5,44,0,4,0,0,30,21,0,8,19,197,61,5,0.07906098723424253,0.0,0.154304237712206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07008279491615353,0.0,0.15833631675829835,0.0,0.0,0.06322504292727579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060481438834757324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1301209121221864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08073010751445539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5018162482861723,0.0,0.0828939409168746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05098779621380136,0.08150840628220428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260190438642599,0.0,0.0,0.06918680271127678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07002456814527876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0710549174442515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03997561066250302,0.0,0.0,0.17321489408917395,0.1445206200430968,0.0,0.09560085958744903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04130610270798058,0.0,0.04493218100638582,0.0,0.06323229384985679,0.0,0.08709459085303263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08403813237156291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08251912998320593,0.15691166103905552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0434498509604999,0.0,0.0,0.08371416997568924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2792492007690741,0.0699664857981262,0.0,0.0,0.2589132207656917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10554764579496803,0.0,0.07942738819574051,0.08612059262070608,0.0,0.07964562700079099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06310572572455661,0.0,0.058118922490950915,0.17586816076817732,0.0,0.07635759413102587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060129443416170686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08260190438642599,0.0,0.07473818770579488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08524111616928258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10129698578907012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1308001312677291,0.1777357243536014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060865010543282534,0.0,0.08850230239037372,0.0,0.08426849299262594,0.06313820653250668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3588698855933271,0.07451404481992238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0525246068811436,0.05065908827695564,0.0,0.0,0.09220219489580853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07723109651709947,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05755734031834196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08644077833894229,0.0,0.0
divorce,chrissy_hu,2018/04/04,"Sexual Behaviors (academic survey) Hello, I created this survey regarding sexual behaviors for my Research Methods class. It takes 5-10 minutes to complete. It is completely anonymous. Thank you for taking the time to complete this survey.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdresD8QsheT1IYaU4qAyLe0eNPmNpiEZWtw1UYAQMbsKOyKg/viewform",17.976153846153842,24.7309855897436,11.657128205128204,25.379538461538463,52.07692307692307,12.350769230769231,41.13333333333333,10.793553405168565,7.624801025641025,294,13,19,9,5,80,30,39,0.0,0.88,0.12,0.5829,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,4,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,13,7,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8611120029415015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4116743335869769,0.0,0.0,0.2520459781874094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15963453991961138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DIGGYRULES,2018/04/04,"Taxes after divorce? I am sorry if this isn't the right place for this question.  I can't find an appropriate sub-Reddit and I've Googled it and looked on the IRS website and can't find the answer.

This is my first year filing on my own.  I am the custodial parent paying the mortgage, etc. (so that makes me head of household).  I get all of that.

What I don't get is what is going to happen when I begin the taxes.  We always used the H&R Block software when we were married.  Every year it imports last year's information.  Will that happen this year?  How is that right when we are divorced?  What will happen when I start the taxes?  Should I pay an accountant to do it this year?  

Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.",1.713870689655174,4.1699418137931055,3.3250646551724152,87.36483836206898,82.58620689655173,5.004310344827585,20.786637931034484,6.322622252153567,0.32487068965517185,573,17,111,5,16,189,85,145,0.048,0.925,0.026,-0.2422,2,0,0,0,2,0,21.0,3,0,0,1,6,1,0,0,10,0,18,1,1,3,1,20,29,11,0,3,2,1,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,15,6,0,1,5,0,6,1,4,0,0,1,1,1,14,1,8,23,3,20,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,3,14,80,29,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15131100222739488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12884196304308196,0.1677725638794501,0.0,0.10529869921339713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17269112095022182,0.0,0.0,0.13046209095179412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.283047795214786,0.13170956359656735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16179838277642192,0.0,0.08800097013323517,0.0,0.0,0.17071519639162927,0.0,0.0,0.4107820434762485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15891381570803673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12621789072527995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13002930630776366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10335905154388343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17193507104523725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16177820791350267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17345984362782746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2644705271926997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17333430728125448,0.10959882789518108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373482586861615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999618062377772,0.0,0.0,0.4985697838432911
divorce,Livefreeconsulting,2018/04/04,"A ""Step Up Plan"" custody schedule. Hey everyone,

I'll spare you the details.  If people are curious I can edit in my story.  [Here is a formal definition of a step up plan if you are unaware.](http://www.divorcesource.com/blog/understanding-step-up-visitation-and-parenting-time/)

I have to present a custody schedule that spans the remaining 15 years until my daughter turns 18 and can decide for herself where she lives.  My ex has blocked custody almost completely, and so I've never been alone with my daughter.  

I've finally proven all of her claims as false.  The judge is not happy with her, but unfortunately since I haven't been alone with my daughter at all, and given my daughter's special needs, the judge isn't comfortable giving me unsupervised & overnight visits just yet.

As such I have to present a ""Step Up"" custody schedule.  A step up custody schedule steadily increases the amount of time I have with my daughter until eventually we hit the normal schedule that will be used from here on.  My attorney knows what they are, but has never been on a case that required one, so I'm reaching out for help creating one.  

I don't know the milestones or what this plan should include.  I don't know how holidays should work.  I don't know when we should introduce overnights.

Assume my Ex is completely hostile and will give me no quarter if I mess up.  I have to get this thing as close to perfect as I can on the first try to as she's quite adept at delaying.  She has delayed the process 2.5 years.


**TL:DR
What should I know/avoid when creating a custody schedule?**",5.098957409050577,7.023907792517012,5.168686779059453,80.77289707187225,69.71428571428572,8.106240757172435,32.17036379769299,8.716276077567194,2.70000727595386,1257,57,227,22,23,393,152,294,0.097,0.815,0.08900000000000001,-0.3125,1,3,0,1,1,0,56.0,2,2,1,8,11,6,1,0,17,0,31,0,0,2,5,44,44,22,0,9,8,7,0,0,0,6,0,0,0,0,9,12,0,4,6,1,0,6,9,2,0,4,4,0,34,4,34,32,4,43,0,0,0,0,23,15,0,6,22,156,43,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564802206114448,0.32369384988111466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1693167363031861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3276888695554373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14932114428494525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17118438394419347,0.0,0.13292181351005294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08164378452999531,0.2998137598534961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16635060796235332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1047434084556859,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4294051044658448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13798785217613133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115871031817852,0.2410476334786019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15310984420739546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2117830119273096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10833682625748814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662106692289355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12926682782462467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103817775233931,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911213554384982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10609597972665126,0.1699751357526106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13496571622055614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1137652497572086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20126344061925816
divorce,vampyrchief,2018/04/04,"Getting Divorced/ 3 kids/ No money Hi,

I am a 35-year-old male going through separation and now divorce. 

I have three kids ages 5, 1.5 and 6 months respectively. 

Jointly owned house, 1 car paid off and another with with the loan under my name. 

Due to complications in pregnancy my ex-wife didn’t work for almost 14 months in 2 years. 

We could have managed somehow to take care of everything but after she left the house this January she filed a police complaint against me for domestic violence. Police officers came to the house and questioned me for hours. I told them everything and they understood what was going on. I have never abused her or anyone for that matter. 

Then she called Child protective services or one of her family members did saying that I neglect the kids and abuse them. It was said that I leave my kids tied up in a high chair for hours on end while I leave the house and go enjoy myself. 

I asked the CPS representative if she had an opportunity to talk to the eldest child and was she able to take a look at the other two kids. The lady agreed that my eldest child misses me a lot and all of them are happy and content. No signs whatsoever of any abuse ever. Case was dismissed. 

Also when I asked my ex to let me see the kids she first made me wait for over a month and then when she let me see the kids there were about 8-10 of her family members there. It made me so uncomfortable that I just held my kids in a hug for a minute each, told them I loved them and left. 

When we had separated I had asked her to help me sell the house and car so we can take care of our debts but she kept dragging it on. I have tried my best to not let the house go into foreclosure or my car get repo. All this on house the income of the household which led me to incur additional debts. 

I incurred a lot of debt trying to keep the household running. 

I tried to resolve this amicably but didn’t work out. Her demands were that she will keep the house and car with my name on it for a year then refinance under her name. I was okay with it. 

Next demand was that I submit all the financial documents I ever had while married to her. I asked her will she be dividing the debt equally. If she is I will provide all documentation. 

I have about $50k debt on me due to transferring debt from her name to mine. She basically wants all the assets and none of the debt. But she also wants me to provide 30% child support based on my 2015 & 2016 income which has been cut in half for 2017. I was ready to pay her 30% of my income but her demands felt unreasonable or at least I felt so.

Now she has filed for the divorce. 

Problem is I don’t have any money to pay for the divorce. I moved out of the house and share an apartment with 2 other people. I barely make enough money to pay rent and keep my debt current. 

I skip meals most days to try and save. 

Can’t afford an attorney. Haven’t even talked to one. 

I live in Houston Texas. Any advice will be deeply appreciated. 

Gratitude is all I have left. 

Thanks in advance. 

",2.783604504048583,4.598189685855264,3.933486842105264,87.68671558704456,75.66118421052632,6.9137651821862365,23.04099190283401,7.748469712250963,0.9609406882591096,2371,69,497,34,52,771,271,608,0.111,0.764,0.125,0.9443,15,0,0,0,8,0,57.0,4,0,6,7,19,19,1,0,37,1,45,3,0,4,9,86,86,42,0,6,13,1,2,0,0,4,0,2,1,13,20,32,1,8,5,0,18,13,10,4,0,6,29,7,89,15,78,47,16,71,0,2,3,2,73,29,0,12,29,346,109,8,0.060489742799584086,0.21501136158469747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059109876581779124,0.0,0.0,0.060571739688539364,0.0,0.0,0.09674725092497052,0.0,0.06554061105100176,0.0,0.12340529815614874,0.06342876952319823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04229583462204341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2261989760102339,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06348025314760197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0617667905570641,0.06918415111137201,0.12334664842840555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048296137530298835,0.0,0.0,0.03901087991416608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05357595781355593,0.06250207423946086,0.0,0.03995290462677392,0.10943287093071057,0.0,0.0,0.10872856085426882,0.0,0.1140486921244044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1161592782920125,0.0,0.0,0.0514525443241268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06320678798143743,0.0,0.13751085927869394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439245601235412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04054499952950687,0.06391073438509594,0.0,0.0,0.1191404238535926,0.6281733751415082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16129818820819913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.128099807190793,0.19716684762704054,0.18556458095410994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05341355111549459,0.0,0.05079614922063287,0.0,0.0,0.10285243238906724,0.05459435455386141,0.11447371443551975,0.04037737302927311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14484700679045726,0.06429102364689675,0.0,0.0,0.046653418721396035,0.0,0.06433152770852779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06347380959818383,0.0,0.08197883041569277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04193597128831719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057880514540995125,0.0,0.0,0.06776235566351461,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057539597414125315,0.04810387135472828,0.0,0.0,0.09640498675573456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06864304329308478,0.0,0.0,0.13644227563173494,0.09723872790314506,0.0,0.0556908281166073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11560108295196275,0.0,0.1642742588396696,0.0,0.0590896892117965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07135683507677874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880745063749138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686023338643488
divorce,Derpythecate,2018/04/04,"Is there any way to speed up a contested divorce? With witnesses and evidence perhaps? I feel bad for my mother who is suffering mental abuse and considering the idea, but is afraid of high costs and the long time taken. Especially since my father is an obstinate person. ",5.6496938775510195,7.943244938775513,6.526275510204084,70.09104591836736,69.0,10.614285714285714,30.617346938775512,10.686352973137794,3.9840163265306128,218,9,35,7,4,72,42,49,0.19,0.81,0.0,-0.8426,0,0,0,0,2,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,1,4,0,4,0,0,0,0,7,6,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,1,1,3,0,5,5,0,6,0,1,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,22,4,0,0.0,0.385932398385078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22150505136012186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2719678521154235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16469700257194542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3441477160369817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36770534138915895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2882575225361788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3282554953916824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28441163839542305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2694441585606429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899336230045119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2585463729783612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheOneForte,2018/04/04,"I knew we’d come to this, I just hoped I’d be wrong. I have to say I’m quite the idiot. My wife of just over a year has been hitting me with some hard talks over the past week or so and splitting up came up a few times. A little backstory first I suppose, before we got married we were engaged for a couple years and during that time she had several affairs(if that’s what you call them even though we were only engaged). I only knew about one of them but I gave her a chance to change and be a better person. Well a few months after we were married and a couple years after the first affair I knew of, I find out she had been sleeping with several other guys behind my back. Brought a few to our home, our car and our job(we were coworkers for a little while until I lost my job there) and slept with them there. So, as any man would do, I broke up with her. After so she promised to get help and see a counselor. I was fine with that, I agreed she definitely needs help, but I wasn’t going to take her back. A couple months go by and she’s seeing the therapist quite a bit(female so nothing shady) and it seems like she’s really improving. So I decide to give her one last chance with the caveat that she has zero social media, she has a tracker on her phone and I have access to everything on her phone as well as her not going anywhere she hasn’t told me she was going and I approved of. Controlling I know but there had to be something to prove I can trust her again, I only didn’t allow her to go hang out with people other than family without me since that was how she met some of the previous guys before. Everything seems all great and dandy until recently. As I’ve been feeling more and more trust towards her I ease up the rules on her, but I guess it’s not enough and she had started complaining about me essentially not easing up on her fast enough this past week or so. Well yesterday she finally admitted to me that she has been talking to one of the guys again that she had slept with for a few months now. So she was giving me crap for not trusting her more when for months now she had been talking to a guy she cheated on me with over a year ago behind my back. So now here I am, getting ready to leave her once and for all. Her parents did ask if we could see them first so we could all talk about it, I’m guessing they’re hoping to help us stay together. But I don’t see that happening, but her mom was asking relentlessly for us to do it so I agreed. Guess we’ll see how today goes....

Sorry for such a long post, I didn’t think it’d end up being this long...",3.136850021486893,4.124476625698328,4.128975791433895,89.98437043403527,73.24581005586592,7.1464260134651205,22.893997994556656,7.419758726546812,0.6875692021200401,2016,49,446,22,39,653,226,537,0.053,0.784,0.163,0.9962,3,0,1,0,0,0,48.0,13,1,4,9,36,22,3,0,26,0,46,4,4,4,4,80,93,45,0,7,16,3,2,1,0,2,0,1,1,6,19,34,0,1,12,0,0,10,10,7,3,7,36,8,88,15,74,46,14,74,0,2,5,0,83,19,1,12,44,333,107,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05868292466154437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04501874491677129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12377743282003732,0.0,0.0,0.15271275184667654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126638365680766,0.0,0.0,0.05854913784396632,0.07227401663936978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0675983145771661,0.07571596271073948,0.0,0.0,0.07003156083065204,0.05702603971687581,0.0,0.0,0.07424971222737498,0.10571174147761636,0.21974944031056654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05863416922573995,0.13680603567255473,0.0,0.043724936828910564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.118993837851412,0.0,0.06240812658233656,0.0,0.03347306213477206,0.0,0.0,0.0725196290491369,0.0605062388577339,0.16893084029376315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06917426498684727,0.1270114840351946,0.18811691200609235,0.0,0.05294674592540409,0.07298650351032507,0.21878259790742915,0.2621963972364932,0.058541058815835274,0.0,0.05930282247401525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13311879772324686,0.0,0.06640469800220113,0.13150446126300494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138795612088675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03638217245075434,0.053962404748978614,0.0,0.07009698080198537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.032342317229968616,0.1327009823528198,0.0,0.11717106944255418,0.0,0.0,0.07226588230986225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753345766561819,0.21136306295071425,0.0,0.0,0.049086978913396334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06352135539678726,0.0,0.0,0.07050158306054892,0.13457791922963294,0.151045842370583,0.0,0.0,0.0735080410627493,0.0,0.12639211445612542,0.04589522870915076,0.05780389621665151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0634019693435353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.140825182750556,0.0,0.0,0.042409862453497815,0.0,0.06536520299284987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052645452335948806,0.0,0.0,0.2637669272900389,0.12053325869304884,0.0,0.1495758914462765,0.0,0.05476190167706245,0.0,0.0662485075850402,0.06748327499752113,0.0,0.05096453177286594,0.0,0.07410626174028974,0.046857194942086455,0.07056113603266609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04977468629229046,0.21283845440560945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686411306630153,0.0,0.042418734360348716,0.06504184989412623,0.0,0.0772043190225657,0.0,0.06275052127993949,0.06325760412974975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1592625777934236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10620441391510012,0.0,0.17856713428577958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06381511071870329,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04702707663354422,0.07238007115752478,0.0,0.17052431674631932
divorce,rachfitz,2018/04/04,"New here, and completely devastated. If you had asked me a month ago how my marriage was, I would’ve told you it was easily a 9/10. I accidentally found out this weekend that my doting, sweet husband has been cheating on me since I got pregnant 3 years ago. He cheated with dozens of women. Last weekend I was out of town with our 2 year old daughter visiting my sick grandmother and he hired a prostitute. I don’t know what to do. I know I am divorcing him. I had always said cheating and beating were the two reasons I would divorce in an instant. I’m heartbroken for myself. I’m even more heartbroken for our two year old daughter. He may be a shitty husband, but he’s actually a really great dad. I’m so lost. I keep going back and forth between sobbing and being pissed off. I am completely blindsided. If I didn’t find proof I would’ve never believed it. We live in a nice house that is in my name with my dad as the co-signer, because my stbx has crappy credit. He’s still here and we are living as roommates at the moment. My daughter’s heart is going to be broken when he moves out. I’m going to start calling lawyers tomorrow. I never wanted to be a single mom. And I don’t want to share custody; although I will. I don’t want to screw my daughter out of a relationship with him. I’m just so devastated. I don’t even know why I’m posting. I’m just tipsy and sad. I suffer from severe depression and have just recently found a medication combo that works. Well, my depression is back in full force now. How do you guys do it? How do single moms do it? I only work VERY part time atm due to my depression and anxiety and my stbx’s salary is just enough to cover mortgage, bills, and groceries. I’m just lost right now. I hate him so much, but I still love him. When will it get better? Thanks for listening. I just needed to get it out in the open.",1.6485254803675848,3.8264628333333306,3.5545530492898934,87.29556390977447,80.71957671957672,6.518629908103592,23.43943191311613,7.669130373188453,1.1887555555555562,1453,51,298,24,38,489,192,378,0.22,0.687,0.093,-0.9951,2,0,0,0,3,0,47.0,4,3,0,6,25,23,6,0,14,0,35,6,2,4,3,55,69,27,0,7,10,10,0,0,0,4,2,2,0,2,11,24,0,1,7,2,3,5,7,14,1,3,15,3,48,9,36,46,7,51,0,8,0,2,42,17,3,3,28,198,59,5,0.0,0.0,0.09444675108899872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17158549590614916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.080531639043156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07403912535162949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047952328087508,0.0,0.0,0.14884110047305368,0.0,0.058998333455656436,0.0,0.0,0.10904188065105544,0.0,0.08559715547389744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09882679157557232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20295135170984144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2500785032931505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10000324459464266,0.0,0.12784919995935695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08845838086375772,0.0,0.0,0.21223626105880106,0.0,0.0,0.1011307857453265,0.0,0.1650129087178116,0.0,0.07740661963104903,0.1067041688149004,0.0,0.09583089779545204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09555368556758996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146889332595888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11167518384437387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08602563655865204,0.0,0.0,0.15956906897816756,0.07889148361763125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1709232367683204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21130128269422896,0.0,0.08735090248396116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0974992109121564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2267033700109964,0.07725167964491174,0.10286556152309914,0.07114702081353715,0.07176375127831043,0.14929082915544192,0.09347412350525897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2031160400303447,0.0,0.0,0.07360822566699833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1048071170789732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0926918555438497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06200199906842449,0.0995095744183946,0.09556204667048612,0.10390927669371064,0.0,0.08265259442808237,0.09206328756444927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10933782551499308,0.0,0.08006032513048962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0685038712477271,0.0,0.15458288288111588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0891052588828662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05643524688819955,0.0,0.0,0.09248079775368452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18908686520160126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07985653725036597,0.17125627713593708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08702000472789398,0.0,0.0873320700901537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14091910565749086,0.0,0.0,0.20625670018294912,0.0,0.0,0.1869762347079424
divorce,RadBadTad,2018/04/04,"Wife wants to live as if we're broken up, but doesn't want a divorce (Venting) We're in our early 30s, and we've been married for 2 years, but together for 10.

About 8 months ago, something snapped in her. It was almost a night and day change from being a wonderful, loving, invested, emotionally supportive wife, to being what is essentially a cold distant craigslist roommate. 

She won't talk to me in any meaningful way. She hasn't put a single ounce of effort into our relationship. She won't go on dates with me, she won't have dinner with me, she's ""too busy"" to talk in the evenings, and shuts down entirely when I try to talk to her. 

She's asked me for some ""space"" a couple of times in the last two months, resulting in my spending a running total of 16 days staying at my mother's house two hours away. When I caught her having an online affair with a guy on instagram, I moved into the spare bedroom and started reaching out to divorce attorneys. I told her that it's obvious that she doesn't want to be with me at this point, so I'm going to start the process of letting her off the hook. 

She lost it completely. Yelled at me for ""jumping straight to divorce"" and for ""Attacking her and only doing things like moving to the spare bedroom to hurt her"". She tells me every once in a while that she wants to work to fix things, that she doesn't know what's wrong, that she wants to go to counseling, but her behavior never matches what she says. 

She stays out of the house for 14-16 hours at a time and doesn't tell me where she is or who she's with. She told me if I were to come home from my mother's house, she would leave the condo and go stay with a friend long term because she ""needs space"". She told me she ""needs to be alone"" but also admitted that that only applies to me, and that she's happy to be with her friends most nights. 

I can't get her to have an honest meaningful conversation with me to tell me what I did wrong, or what she needs from the relationship. All I know is she's making it very clear that she doesn't want to be around me, near me, or with me. Yet bringing up divorce, or even mentioning how her behavior is hurting me every single day makes her angry, defensive, and distant. 

I am so lost. I don't want to divorce her. I'm in love with her, and I can't help believing that the woman who loved me is still in there somewhere, but I don't know what else to do to try to bring her back to me. Being without her might kill me, but being with her is killing me too. When pain is the only thing that's left, do you learn to love the pain because it's all you have? Or do you move on knowing that life will never be as good again, and that the best thing that ever happened to you doesn't even want to see your face or hear your voice?",7.384429475953119,5.115077929947464,7.337521891418563,81.5720594773003,64.79684763572679,10.53592886972922,32.81968206924424,8.730908602173464,2.3207870941667776,2162,62,477,25,26,695,245,571,0.091,0.769,0.14,0.9901,0,1,1,0,5,1,69.0,2,6,0,5,21,24,4,0,26,0,47,9,1,4,8,82,93,36,2,14,15,4,0,1,2,6,3,4,4,2,32,29,1,1,9,0,2,14,17,12,0,2,10,6,86,12,87,67,9,83,0,4,1,4,88,34,0,13,32,336,118,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059103409213328385,0.0,0.0667654317574876,0.0690552440433336,0.0,0.05332001369425593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0453413206385402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059354930763533924,0.062332171628555325,0.07585249532208471,0.06264340463387769,0.05126899813159416,0.0,0.08128898370387495,0.0,0.0,0.07511994949777433,0.06997135184275008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07053336249845317,0.05743465208390872,0.06990752177017208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07377467505799833,0.0,0.1289996748038725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055698449031045205,0.07500045745319034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211472583197031,0.06031140028105152,0.1123532112211902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10302595704713252,0.0,0.03483496190867298,0.0,0.15157187061645894,0.055923868876533785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0660187825057569,0.05896052684710859,0.0709768309395824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0751476275654306,0.0,0.04469088081527967,0.0,0.06688051187543342,0.0,0.13132298790256192,0.2308021685004613,0.14275404086097718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14753212901431542,0.0,0.14657145592717474,0.054349065054424016,0.0,0.07059925122773414,0.07244263731882901,0.06817975637926389,0.04709455989394811,0.032574061725365436,0.0,0.0588752910229088,0.059005321438629424,0.0,0.0,0.14556738741145125,0.0,0.24070734451760065,0.0,0.0890122277284574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07073169187491264,0.0,0.0,0.10643877818128664,0.21259508018034026,0.0,0.14831611504525175,0.10284781846826213,0.0,0.0,0.12514003616655858,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07100675260900373,0.0,0.15212814090451507,0.14189390907490868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06302947388332535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06702684139734884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1431681033191397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05302267619717628,0.0,0.0,0.05313138269940867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051329711225372665,0.0,0.0,0.09438588765722072,0.2132001968996397,0.05324678135555154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566205702818625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16077263965139274,0.17483079854342273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17718376317494147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07775751611809609,0.0,0.0,0.19113260378373947,0.0,0.0905359650760288,0.0,0.1302636719013637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05501389933388462,0.3146133776078673,0.052923551517949585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06427236925485096,0.07230624796229028,0.04854023076756138,0.0,0.0,0.04736404278432857,0.14579740151623288,0.0,0.042936546412816856
divorce,Chritz,2018/04/04,"I found this illustration in the /art community. I instantly felt like it sums up the beauty and sadness of a ended relationship. https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/89h8lu/golden_morning_digital_art_2018/?utm_source=reddit-android

Not my art credit to them!",18.116,24.94109293333333,10.935000000000002,30.022500000000008,53.0,9.666666666666668,27.5,9.516144504307137,3.9090000000000007,228,6,21,5,4,60,28,30,0.147,0.6629999999999999,0.19,0.3628,0,0,0,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,2,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,1,0,1,1,0,0,2,1,4,2,4,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,15,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42712781817715145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4630328707380214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5287590861346058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356015882146312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5177529410985253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DivorcedinCT,2018/04/04,"My lawyers left me screwed So, I still owe my lawyers $4,500.  I have to pay combined support and alimony of $1196 every two weeks.  My base pay is 1867 every two weeks.  I am occasionally able to work some overtime and that was added to the calculation.  During the process there was a temporary judgement of alimony and support and I got a second job (and now a third) to survive.  I just found out that my primary job is cutting out all overtime soon, and an annual extra duty position I usually do is gone as well.  So... on a base gross salary of about $74k, I will end up with about $17k net for the year.  Rent, car, and insurance are about $1,500 per month.  I've got 7 more years of this and I don't see how I can continue to function working 2-3 jobs for that long.",3.4819897084048,4.229453654088053,4.890040022870213,85.74854202401374,72.20754716981132,8.54911377930246,29.54888507718697,8.841846274778883,2.1234981132075474,597,24,132,11,11,200,102,159,0.07200000000000001,0.877,0.051,-0.2732,6,0,0,0,0,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,12,6,2,0,8,0,12,1,0,1,1,17,20,12,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,11,0,1,1,0,4,2,1,3,1,4,6,1,14,3,20,13,4,20,0,0,1,1,0,5,1,1,13,83,18,10,0.16124211276406586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14281265271433122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717068686380495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17679365408686482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25792009464949456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4800237505565474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519002730621214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426941958028152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287019160687901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12848908778624618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287681595383111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659512775183541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3150202295503101,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17758540709551285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2586773937700465,0.0,0.14497602377416793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23477235695306894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2076692681794656
divorce,DJ-CatsPyjamas,2018/04/05,"Online Divorce UK Is it possible to complete a straight forward online divorce when my youngest child is still a dependent? 

",11.94714285714286,11.349554190476189,10.019047619047623,60.634285714285724,54.714285714285715,12.20952380952381,59.0952380952381,11.20814326018867,7.395723809523807,102,8,13,2,1,31,17,21,0.0,0.905,0.095,0.2263,0,0,0,0,2,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,1,0,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,2,0,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,3,9,2,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6045358824359085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6500102443714431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4604596063278671,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,confuzzled_noob,2018/04/05,"Is there a Separation subreddit? My husband and I separated in January and are trying to figure out what to do- keep doing therapy, work hard on fixing things, or let it go. Any recommendations of relevant subreddits? Or is this the best place?",3.8438636363636363,6.8954356590909125,6.346545454545453,65.23481818181821,78.77272727272728,10.792727272727275,29.25454545454545,10.355215969177356,4.463632727272726,195,9,31,8,5,69,40,44,0.03,0.867,0.103,0.6531,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,7,8,4,0,0,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,1,6,7,1,5,0,0,0,0,1,4,0,2,0,26,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352425097146952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3630294879771822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659852615573736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30988302356592884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3074761875986717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3537342268932845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3614205297027652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3955981555999669,0.0,0.2298188084454381,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2348620126629456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518392836177266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,chewychew,2018/04/05,"I came to a conclusion today.. (rant) Ultimately, even if I post the most detailed account of my relationship everywhere, tell every person I know all of the ins and outs of our problems, ask for every piece of advice...I will still have to deal with my emotions. My feelings are ultimately the only ones that matter. I have been obsessed with turning to an outside source to point me in the right direction, but today I listened to my heart. I heard nothing. I don’t love him anymore. I don’t even know him anymore. It hurts, but not as much as the hurt he has caused me for so many years now. I was blind for so long and now I see that the only opinion of my marriage that matters to me anymore is my own. No one else lives it, no one else can possibly understand. Honestly, at this point, he doesn’t have to understand either. All I know is that I’m done hurting and I want it to stop. I’m not looking for advice anymore, just healing. I am trying to find peace, and that means making a final decision, just for me. ",2.5616475095785454,4.486836891625615,4.0378899835796425,86.19987821565408,76.63546798029556,6.678598795840178,26.54871373836891,7.594959193182576,1.4946838533114402,791,31,158,11,18,262,116,203,0.151,0.79,0.059,-0.9666,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,1,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,9,0,16,4,1,2,2,37,35,11,0,3,8,0,1,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,9,8,0,1,10,0,1,1,7,5,0,3,5,6,26,2,27,29,7,18,0,3,3,1,14,7,0,3,9,117,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069696147806325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4342462984605061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10233660906951927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252007688270119,0.0,0.1124524785021504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285538472978712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11202246364802808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1828908011816282,0.12313532953993996,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1446034762525881,0.0,0.18446087075170556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05534966424818867,0.0,0.0,0.11991544433884375,0.10005060165132942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12971859379886438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35155917299995243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18048014445117613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09666112191902852,0.09687460512478052,0.0919244774086632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09879799136011072,0.0,0.07306988761547578,0.11098207562515784,0.0,0.1192413526000819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08047063679650153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.105036273037886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2225324535469411,0.16650875117899294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955821201821036,0.0,0.0,0.20696287198504715,0.12340728248814463,0.10483886122247436,0.0,0.0,0.104744870092718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11752629370836284,0.0,0.09348398331311797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08723080551458763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742026637969617,0.091519082010788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09567874082995327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20752330756351464,0.0,0.0,0.07432071932235318,0.11906836044679388,0.0,0.2279174383572916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456630940150751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07049298059480348
divorce,kovolev,2018/04/05,"Denial/bargaining? Unable to accept pending divorce. Late 20s male, married to late 20s female for nearly 5 years, together for 7, without kids but with 3 shared pets and a home. I have essentially spent my entire adult life with her.

I was told at the beginning of this week that we are getting a divorce, after a series of rocky months that included infidelity (first her, then me as ""revenge"" or some sort of self-validation coping mechanism, who knows). The current decision to divorce was instigated by my looking at her phone in a period of anger/fear stemming from her infidelity last weekend, and that lead to a larger blow-up and her telling me she wanted out.

I spoke to my therapist, who I have been seeing for about a year now to work through marital and personal issues, and came to the epiphany that I needed to let go of all of my anger, fear, and resentment towards her infidelity and focus on healing and the future/present over the past, if I wanted any hope in fixing us. It really resonated with me, and nothing seems more important to me than that. It reminded me that the love I have for her--and her being my best friend and partner through every challenge in my life--means so much more than all of the distractions, fights, and bullshit.

I have tried communicating that to my wife, and have begged, pleaded, bargained--anything and everything--to get her to listen and give me one last chance, in the form of a trip to a therapist together, and hopefully one weekend where we can get away and just be ourselves for a few days, away from all of the distractions and stresses of our life. She is flatly refusing everything, mostly ghosting me, and intends to provide me with papers shortly.

Nothing matters more to me than one last chance, one last gesture, one last SOMETHING to show her how I really feel and how badly I want to save our marriage. It looks like I won't be able to get that. We have built such a good life together, renovating a beautiful home, nearly paying off graduate school loans with two good jobs, trips around the world that have given us such pure joy together...and it's all being taken away from me. 

I honestly don't know how to cope with the notion that I love someone that no longer loves me back. And I am terrified I will never have closure because she has refused therapy and refused all of my gestures. I would give up everything I have for just one more chance, and being deprived of that is killing me. 

For anyone who experienced something similar, did you get past it? How?",9.265828538550057,7.697468352320678,8.819900268507869,70.20307249712315,60.62447257383968,12.162485615650173,39.68891446106636,11.022393298168332,4.332315611814344,2005,86,357,42,22,643,243,474,0.123,0.7290000000000001,0.14800000000000002,0.9399,2,0,2,0,4,0,69.0,7,1,0,5,14,26,4,4,22,0,29,7,0,6,7,74,61,32,2,8,6,1,1,1,2,3,4,2,3,5,21,34,0,3,6,3,3,5,5,10,0,8,10,7,57,16,74,42,15,51,0,1,3,3,49,21,0,8,26,266,78,8,0.080478715581563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05472828632821235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0562725891579698,0.0,0.06622712569265403,0.07164311934612608,0.0,0.0,0.2268372074585851,0.061883164627575475,0.06719636591240953,0.04905907804208909,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445744686067014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09204621085084637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051902113712083205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780678889600808,0.0,0.14465816053434316,0.0,0.0,0.1811218588880577,0.0406924567128788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06845515436110658,0.0,0.0,0.06217765602222994,0.0,0.2102340362743794,0.15440503457171526,0.045737908697730624,0.13500345668603286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16145342712337776,0.15986704699885726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08399887004042017,0.07986270714517063,0.0,0.08903777487728437,0.0,0.08845799476677571,0.3280044727502804,0.18156699316422975,0.0,0.0,0.08229493928195056,0.2273779874145386,0.039317835296207616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13516370401211406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21790554873359935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876649144122449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0642373429654704,0.0,0.05916111595214583,0.059673947861626574,0.062070146811942034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1544429962469436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3272067629015817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15365208075816605,0.0,0.07027091023705195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311345195367527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814487567221085,0.06413111670407412,0.07326480009628364,0.08395685210725752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06818935454895506,0.1239128941779802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0921880967894836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0703419446612639,0.0,0.09203442505712743,0.1868839833733124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0769008615777719,0.0,0.05463976511824716,0.0,0.07861601110844564,0.0,0.19361197152345655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14240529474488176,0.0,0.06455517123823938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07757860993096395,0.0,0.058589463440254376,0.0,0.0,0.05716977050198886,0.0,0.0,0.10365130847238044
divorce,cockwar,2018/04/05,"Spent my entire adult life with someone—now what? I (30F) was with my ex (30M) for 11 years total, married for 2. When I told my brother about the split, he said “well it took you forever to get married and no time at all to get divorced!” which made me laugh. 

No kids, not much in the way of shared finances.  No names changed. He told me he no longer had romantic or sexual feelings for me about a year ago, and after some talking and counseling and thinking we broke up in August 2017. No infidelity that I’m aware of, no DV. Despite being the one who was dumped, I feel like it was a pretty amicable breakup. We haven’t done anything with paperwork yet.

Despite being amicable, and breaking up 8 months ago, I still have a lot of hurt and anger. I had quit my job, sold everything, drained my savings & moved to a new city to support him pursuing his dream job, and within months he dropped this bomb. I don’t blame him for his feelings, and I am now happy to be in my new city, but I am still upset about how much I gave up for this person who didn’t want me.

The day to day has gotten better. I’ve been in therapy and started meds because the depression through the winter was worse than I’d ever imagined. But I have a safe, clean room, my little cat, enough money to pay my bills. I just miss the life we used to have, and the future I thought I had. I miss having a go-to companion and confidante and partner. I am trying really hard to stay hopeful that I can find that again one day, but I have a hard time believing that I will ever be able to trust someone again. No matter how much they mean it when they commit to you, feelings can change.

I don’t have many close friends who can really relate. I’m also kinda new to reddit. I guess I would like to know—
What are the positives of divorce? 
What does it look like on the other side when you have finally found peace and acceptance?",4.305,4.812369625000001,5.119670833333334,85.71491250000005,70.19791666666666,8.227333333333332,27.86,8.238735603445708,1.6653794999999998,1472,48,312,20,25,479,210,384,0.117,0.721,0.162,0.977,3,0,0,0,2,0,50.0,3,3,2,2,19,23,2,1,17,0,34,2,0,4,5,57,64,23,0,3,6,2,6,3,3,2,2,1,2,4,18,20,0,1,11,1,6,2,12,8,1,2,21,8,45,15,41,37,8,51,0,5,1,0,36,14,0,6,34,206,63,4,0.09826673880143867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17421506974346684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07858387551671563,0.0,0.10647197043594897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08086515316480762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05990249189446292,0.0,0.0,0.11071296406645532,0.0,0.08690894490804686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20790635989468764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19012175136737425,0.0,0.08463699813801623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08599388533300599,0.10056099127686348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015358095369428,0.0,0.0,0.1777757822457401,0.0,0.0,0.0883158085588374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19874646289257544,0.07020177783437061,0.0,0.10764640911673026,0.08981401901243928,0.0,0.0,0.10774440702923824,0.07592063863680645,0.0,0.10268063042735454,0.0,0.055847252218741934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10825189147987654,0.0,0.0,0.10460677071671463,0.17605539282307311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760104418212764,0.0,0.0,0.10519657628797344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1950291509077749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05400482974803559,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13881740741635312,0.1440244948010408,0.09848908787760584,0.0,0.0,0.08251931148262633,0.0,0.0,0.0835428672771493,0.0,0.09298236424426526,0.0,0.09962704957012572,0.0,0.10704128643638623,0.10915219415788777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15687114678386918,0.10444199190792657,0.21671207920481453,0.0,0.0,0.284719886019711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13317617075008803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08580272599660713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09997260089136016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1045187726072978,0.0,0.0,0.12590437827971254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0934741714569278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326108889883856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06955370349978719,0.1047392687566985,0.15695188908630034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11151193067833287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898308237068764,0.0,0.0,0.11237657985065072,0.0,0.0,0.06296535838695587,0.0,0.07801281410710302,0.1146002512705983,0.0,0.0,0.1877961601067029,0.1091779625106274,0.06671666524803248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08487091152979734,0.0,0.0,0.057960268548499824,0.07799956332038738,0.0,0.0,0.08835359954339568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10014220200102764,0.06980587183406968,0.0,0.0,0.1265611159730805
divorce,MankindsError,2018/04/05,"Separated Divorce imminent I'm 35 she's 37. I don't have any kids of my own. She has kids from a previous relationship. We've decided to separate, but I'm sure the divorce is on the way. So far it has been amicable. 

The decision to separate was a mutual one, I have a great job and make more than enough to support myself, her the same. I think we care about each other, just not love anymore. Is it strange this is going smoothly, or should I be expecting it to blow up? Another fear is dating, I kinda feel guilty that I want to start looking or talking to someone else, should I be? ",1.5767366946778694,3.746798487394962,4.0438865546218485,83.73260854341737,80.93277310924371,8.000280112044818,26.723389355742306,8.841846274778883,2.3311338935574217,456,20,94,12,12,159,85,119,0.112,0.745,0.14300000000000002,0.6027,1,0,0,0,2,0,16.0,1,0,0,0,3,6,0,1,7,0,15,1,0,1,1,20,27,5,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,6,3,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,2,3,13,5,12,21,5,7,0,0,1,1,11,3,0,3,2,66,19,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15852379016309714,0.2444376967707509,0.0,0.0,0.23118393469672094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2376726749775891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19473471708061055,0.0,0.0,0.2408664583174771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2623152073511893,0.11786816109109514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248261780782822,0.0,0.0,0.2570062134917182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23132715965951284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957549202617544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21039219874746126,0.0,0.15560371325379754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15796236188566626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502744742432653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19751458810621006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16499749498488198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.264532128370548,0.21970479732088152,0.0,0.0,0.1873661657339056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14936841436063622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13749518196659033,0.185033030740311,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Seattle1213,2018/04/05,"I miss my step-dad I really miss him. My mom and him got divorced almost two years ago.

  


The last time I saw him was when my mom was moving all her stuff out of the house we all lived in for 7 years.we packed up her stuff and left. That was the last time.

  


I'm not allowed to talk about him because everyone kind of hated him the last year they were together (he became an alcoholic).

  


I really miss him.

Edit: I'm 25. They got together when I was 14. My parents divorced when I was 13. My mom and step-dad divorced when I was 23.",-0.39830357142857054,1.7627472053571474,1.7532142857142858,96.74178571428571,90.33928571428572,5.342857142857143,17.82142857142857,6.868970318607317,-0.0006142857142856786,405,11,95,6,14,135,62,112,0.08800000000000001,0.912,0.0,-0.807,2,1,1,0,3,0,16.0,1,0,2,0,5,5,1,0,5,0,7,1,0,1,2,10,16,7,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,4,0,1,10,1,23,1,8,6,2,17,0,3,1,0,20,4,0,1,12,57,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13315998634306972,0.16053831380772512,0.15042252383321592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09157204384589876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354059124685598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402875454827832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483100584698577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1733324355539972,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1564298623839069,0.0,0.36734534555954185,0.0,0.0,0.1632132684802191,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13264603603926847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5278036612914608,0.0,0.15965891167258264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1668003052076223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19246814086687725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439293894442334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12074025726134092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17518769089925407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14674203233163102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1934720859608192
divorce,qqmonkey,2018/04/05,"Getting Divorced/2 kids We are in California, married with 2 kids.  We are now negotiating for monthly child support.

Here's our story:
Wife put a big down payment to purchase the house with money from her parents, then I put in <8% in mortgage.  Few years later, her parents paid off the mortgage.  It is a community property and even we've agreed on she will pay for the house and I pay for living expenses, it was never written down on paper.  The house is currently rented to someone at ~$4k which is her money but she's planning on selling it in a couple months. Also, she's now buying another house in Washington state and moving the kids there.

Since she's not taking alimony,  I told her I am not going to take any money from the house. I make ~145K in the NorCal area and she has no job. With crazy housing market here, I am not sure how much is fair to pay her for child support.  I told her I can put a smaller amount on the paper but pay the kids more if I can afford because if I moved out from NorCal, the salary could drop 1/3.  However, she disagreed and now wanted me to sign off my rights of the house before reaching an agreement.  With the NorCal court calculator, that means I will have to pay her more than $3k a month for child support that means if I get a room at $1500, I wouldn't have much left.

Besides paying monthly child support, I also agreed on paying for medical insurance and expenses plus a couple hundred in kids' 529. So, what is a fair amount to pay for child support?

Thanks.",4.758979933110369,5.582197297658865,5.513409698996657,82.16175334448162,69.33444816053512,7.852909698996655,28.996822742474915,7.908726449838941,1.8371483612040127,1188,42,230,14,20,387,153,299,0.075,0.805,0.12,0.9569,10,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,3,0,0,1,11,8,0,0,21,0,19,1,0,2,2,32,38,17,0,6,8,3,0,0,0,3,1,0,2,10,7,14,0,0,2,0,18,6,6,0,0,0,5,0,32,8,43,29,7,44,0,0,0,0,31,24,0,3,12,155,39,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1259624074304163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0535568308032919,0.08258261018379942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048008971563781866,0.0,0.06701561809287948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06288031644046195,0.17428419525524722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052017643938318384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229359598300325,0.0,0.04475889164024524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6361175457127161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07815325092431896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556870455447055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06954305598960198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05257029077164707,0.0,0.0,0.17157690487163568,0.0,0.07933845873275447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514493867264568,0.16741048530690136,0.11578955197614728,0.0,0.06074153922537505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17489859946817218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2375148200433494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06725725665713977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06514783803962351,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06672976570584607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4468572958859959,0.0742266674590598,0.0,0.11842953227467808,0.0,0.0,0.07250801148656524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1505096069498155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0464523727907102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05071632936854302
divorce,brokenDadGuy,2018/04/05,"Tax Implications on Future - 2 Children Involved 29 male from Canada (east coast), married 4.5 years together 9.5 years, 2 beautiful girls, recently purchased new house in August.

My wife and I are exploring the option of trying to develop a Separation Agreement. We started off with a lot of patience, thinking we would start with the easiest item, and basically can't agree already. 

We are trying to decide on who gets to claim the dependents for income tax purposes. I make about $75,000/year she makes $40,000/year. I'm under the impression that financially, I would have the most to gain from claiming the dependents. She is concerned about her finances after the divorce is all said and done. I'm assuming it is around child care benefits she would receive from the government but she will not outright tell me. I'm devastated on the inside but I am keeping my composure and trying to do what is in my best interests financially. 

Aside from finances (remembering I am in Canada), are there other implications that could affect my custody, future, etc if allow her to claim the dependents or am I just overthinking this?

Our basic reason for divorce was that she loves me but is not in love with me... I find this an excuse to just give up but I pressed for counselling, she attended one session, and said it was dumb and she thought the counsellor was dumb. 

I'm still quite devastated on the inside, I randomly break down and cry, but I am progressing slowly. It has been two weeks since she broke the news to me that she wants to separate. I plan to attend counselling and I just started writing in a journal which is surprising therapeutic. We are trying to handle as much as we can without lawyers and trying to keep this as painless as possible for the kids.

F*ck me... this is hard. I feel like I can't breathe or I am going to vomit every time I think about this.
",5.430621556094336,7.148617957020058,5.975659025787966,76.12805543310559,68.5702005730659,9.266078906766586,32.04771875688781,9.661875296680813,3.2433212695613847,1493,65,259,34,26,483,191,349,0.096,0.7959999999999999,0.108,-0.3544,1,0,0,0,2,0,50.0,6,0,0,5,9,13,2,0,18,0,32,4,1,8,1,63,56,21,0,6,14,1,3,1,0,4,1,2,0,5,16,18,0,2,10,0,5,5,5,3,0,2,8,5,42,10,49,43,7,35,0,1,0,2,36,15,2,11,15,190,58,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1324064807138648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10681212830772643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591690218067927,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12233274990540025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09579829511654993,0.0,0.1317979378083267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12278635889647675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1338150417278295,0.0,0.0,0.1010925752786469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06066804387137058,0.08571734008279368,0.0,0.0,0.10966415736728724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06268723378361513,0.11510058826692315,0.06819026609864168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1074830328060202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13844663236593074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21329644185369104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05861863228136601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020069945063565,0.2165823751834101,0.0,0.1601818983997495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08820281369072705,0.0,0.0,0.1158823040819392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08130497169204519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13526511009111294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276188645500312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12336460968439025,0.11847075677942788,0.0,0.1359196662359449,0.0,0.22826650808287705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09925286906967737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2547780971149464,0.0,0.09582021188401103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10487221783678767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15376314403385993,0.0,0.0952547232266866,0.06996424460155236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.40730984746198295,0.0,0.11720795440226732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07077028821383198,0.0,0.0962447656684692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11566130165058545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2557018001692537,0.0,0.0,0.3090657403212101
divorce,Beautiful_Smile,2018/04/06,"Custody question My ex has threatened to take me to court for full custody of our daughter. As it is, I have full custody now with him having weekend visitation. He & his wife have her weekends & then picks her up from daycare M&W so I can work extra. He pays me $100/month in child support plus he pays her daycare (~$800/month) how likely is it that he would get custody since he has her a lot & has a “family” (wife+another kid) where as I’m single. Will the court take her away from me because I don’t have a full family like they do? Will the court say it’s better for her to be with them & her step brother since they’re a complete family & I am not? I am sorry if it’s not making sense I’m worried. I don’t have money for a lawyer if I needed one & he’s in the military & has access to all the legal help offered to military. I told him in May 2017 that if he agreed to not drink for 1 year that I would look into giving him shared custody bc my main concern was his drinking. He has not kept that agreement but unfortunately that was just a verbal agreement between us. ",3.5285517621145384,4.415738867841412,4.706120594713656,86.59151569383259,72.21585903083701,7.084691629955947,26.96283039647577,7.1686216300943375,1.2286918502202648,861,29,181,8,16,284,123,227,0.056,0.873,0.071,-0.3828,0,0,2,0,0,0,37.0,2,0,2,2,5,7,0,0,10,0,26,2,0,3,1,24,38,10,0,6,9,4,0,2,0,5,0,1,0,2,9,4,2,1,1,4,3,2,6,0,0,1,4,2,30,7,25,28,8,17,0,0,1,0,38,10,0,6,7,123,39,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8082397806809407,0.0,0.0,0.09777459720431632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08760592667135747,0.0,0.0,0.0568407543233975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08246685287696028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09776469305536403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18268749198737574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2637067930995658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048716207817994996,0.08944826306006985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062499572787658275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911087409625677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07830158249816381,0.0,0.0,0.07927282228490376,0.0,0.0,0.06224117878657125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14885314504914188,0.0,0.0,0.06913933863575535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06318463359315027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10445476209644264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0741514722898199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15426501072996635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10437916610291767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10581233026135167,0.0,0.0,0.1402159581718308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08909875918274789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11216120386518376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06788283494626728,0.09469393708765016,0.0,0.13247590495038128,0.0,0.0,0.060046160622124714
divorce,mustfocusfast,2018/04/06,"What to do when STBX is starting to use the kids as a bargaining chip against you? Unfortunately a lurker here, but now need help!

M(39), Married 10 years (together 19).  2 kids together.  No property together, only renting house & leasing cars.  Wife (42) has had 2 emotional affairs over four years.  The most recent one was discovered this January.  It was with a family friend which makes it worse.  We have agreed (her, begrudgingly) to separate.

She is now using the fact that our oldest (9) might have to change schools as we move out of our shared home, as a huge guilt trip against me.  Anyone have any experience with this or any advice??  I’m really trying to stay the course on this one as the whole experience has been incredibly painful.  But now bringing the kids into it makes it so much harder.",4.311632016632018,6.629408770270274,4.955405405405403,79.81204781704784,72.7837837837838,8.878170478170476,27.600831600831604,9.466822959209583,2.660669854469856,630,24,116,16,13,202,106,148,0.095,0.7879999999999999,0.117,0.5708,1,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,4,1,0,0,6,4,0,1,10,0,13,1,0,4,1,17,21,9,0,1,3,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,2,3,10,6,0,0,0,0,2,4,1,2,0,3,4,0,8,2,18,16,3,19,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,3,9,75,18,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16502914452571307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829831425629035,0.0,0.2296905577922493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1180859411035971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.178654339431193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1899690686606762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3303972204115696,0.15920654198564724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13047750488944554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11319777631226728,0.0,0.1694020141204476,0.0,0.0,0.19486669141212468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22545955818390515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17915668899296158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17949441356810933,0.12414740744088795,0.1252235661811405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2288770851010477,0.128442066560051,0.17970192896761092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10818987713724017,0.0,0.16675020553536193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17091719491080032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195352653958427,0.18000531471680378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11465952042041234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2917189573990823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1885502747966823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17210477790810313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21750842622898567
divorce,Mad_Yeti,2018/04/06,"Looking for advice/direction on how to proceed, def out of my element here -38 years old, married for 5 years, no kids, do own a house together
-Not sure on what method- looking to keep it fair and invasive (mediator?) but I'm afraid she has been hiding money/stocks. Also have 401k's and I just got a new job with a pension.
- The cause was initially a loss of passion on her part, discovered she has been having multiple affairs in the meantime. 
-Emotionally, it sucks but I'm ready to move on with my living my life, I ain't getting any younger.
-I live in California, Santa Clara Co, trying to figure out how to proceed. I obtained the forms to file (FL-100 & FL-110) but they are literally Greek to me. Is there a recommended facilitating service available to streamline this and make sure everything is proper?",3.5874509803921555,6.162950228758169,4.815450980392161,78.70552941176472,76.12418300653594,7.740130718954247,29.807843137254906,8.648137234880735,2.6863223529411764,647,30,115,14,15,213,111,153,0.097,0.831,0.07200000000000001,-0.4184,1,0,1,0,0,0,33.0,0,0,1,2,6,6,1,1,8,0,12,2,0,4,2,20,21,9,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,4,7,0,1,1,0,0,1,3,3,0,0,4,2,12,3,22,17,3,15,0,1,2,1,6,8,1,0,6,75,16,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1558888653244596,0.0,0.2112112001474013,0.0,0.13256198820924114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2002511924487193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21927481636136156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17519435247910212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10184511048144776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1559067433367372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22492797525192465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19344218416498696,0.1732665359016588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376878398216402,0.0,0.0,0.344261063616243,0.0,0.3273913827690005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13012013894218544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20718427926464186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882687327185041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2045507249349201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110948182491172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3674464851237745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323475735367024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2510625574714013
divorce,finallyforever,2018/04/06,Quick question.. My STBX  is threatening to quit their well paying job because I asked for a divorce. Any legal ramifications to this? They make significantly more than I do.  I have an appt with a lawyer Monday but between now and then I am worried. Thanks in advance. ,2.4479591836734684,5.411797061224494,3.515510204081636,82.32591836734697,88.59183673469389,5.248979591836736,25.367346938775512,6.868970318607317,1.3931551020408173,212,9,37,3,7,68,44,49,0.101,0.765,0.134,0.1655,1,0,0,0,1,0,7.0,0,0,2,2,3,2,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,1,0,5,7,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,7,2,7,7,1,6,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,4,29,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23730579290285145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3262319051002211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21272369728593868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34629045259696484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23293451736379375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3909167543037326,0.3711635199414441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212768735481416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137583056896112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3543873519559405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Remotethrowaway411,2018/04/06,"Is it too much to ask For monthly maintenance to end at the point of cohabitation or remarriage?   Short version, she asked for divorce a few days ago.  No infidelity just tired of me.  Unfortunately it appears to late to fix it. 

Now on to the next part, I earn significantly more and she didn't work for several years while raising children.  I have agreed to everything so far that has been asked for.  Monthly maintenance, lump sum buy out of home equity, half of my pension, and she take what ever she wants from the home including a paid for vehicle and one that I would continue to pay for.  Even sharing the dogs via part time at each place. Youngest child is almost 18, child support wasn't asked for and wouldn't be an issue if it was.  

My only real hang while trying to keep the whole thing as amicable as possible is the original question.  She is asking for 14 yrs of maintenance with no stipulations.  I requested 14 yrs or until she cohabitates or remarries.  It seems to be a sticking point and I am being made to feel that I am being unreasonable.  

My feeling is once a person moves on and is starting a new life with someone else, it should be done on their own and not continue to be funded by me.  Honest answers appreciated, am I being unreasonable?",5.1949485294117626,6.529311362500002,6.3375490196078434,74.77058823529413,68.70833333333334,9.813725490196077,31.200980392156854,10.056822442137396,3.1961789215686265,997,41,185,25,17,334,145,240,0.046,0.879,0.075,0.7903,0,0,0,0,1,0,23.0,0,0,1,2,6,3,0,0,12,0,26,3,0,2,1,33,42,17,0,5,6,0,2,0,0,3,3,0,2,4,11,11,0,1,5,0,4,3,6,0,0,2,7,2,19,3,37,25,9,33,0,0,0,0,20,11,0,8,19,137,30,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489294745606467,0.0,0.11849101462052924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5531157415858533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07631345518616109,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12109329910054327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09885004207642577,0.0,0.10480579942457978,0.0,0.0,0.07815625290946364,0.10703681267941803,0.0,0.0,0.10634792363649002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1196630252478569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2373905028951369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12350641517371228,0.0,0.10517768448630076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1334820839184694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358041037179961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11196728573912744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18890073035820204,0.12576671335650286,0.08698661476529197,0.0,0.0,0.11428444197523167,0.12584594778799832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.126018239380384,0.0801838847894083,0.08999576224607815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2562810420945929,0.0,0.0,0.10332172575887896,0.1236303036564427,0.0,0.22372135144908434,0.13339998499296696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13255736614027291,0.0,0.0,0.13468614178279242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10772374454509244,0.0,0.13367990955339862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10026114314749872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08375501588147166,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13428017567699918,0.0,0.0,0.08896989344024156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07861360033265971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899953116960171,0.13600363081144412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08033871779990673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0697944605176749,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13211190193752814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861460945007362,0.0,0.0,0.08405867135601729,0.0,0.0,0.07620103420038997
divorce,fobis,2018/04/06,"Positive life stories after divorce? Hey everybody.  

I just moved out of my wife and I's home this past weekend, we're separating with the intention of getting divorced.  She had an affair and is still talking to the guy, she's in love with him.  I'm incredibly angry and hurt, and I'm having a really hard time imagining a world where I can be happy and whole again.  I just kinda feel like I'm being discarded like a piece of trash.  I'm also confronting the realization that I've been clinically depressed for the last 2 or 3 years without having gotten help for it.  I'm dealing with my shit, in that I'm seeing a therapist and I've been on medication for it for about a month or so.  I'm just having a hard time finding any sort of hope in it.

Does anyone have any stories about their lives turning out for the better after divorce, especially if they weren't the ones that wanted it or sought it out?  Looking to live vicariously through y'alls hope until I find my own. ",4.3272612879348635,5.6028379844559595,5.743941524796448,78.43524611398966,70.70984455958549,8.415840118430793,28.811621021465587,8.841846274778883,2.2918367135455218,773,29,147,14,14,261,118,193,0.119,0.758,0.123,0.3852,0,0,0,0,3,0,16.0,0,1,2,1,10,11,2,0,13,0,12,5,1,1,0,30,29,13,0,4,8,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,1,1,9,12,0,0,4,1,0,1,2,4,0,1,5,5,14,7,28,22,3,22,0,2,2,1,17,9,1,8,14,98,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209675112252434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2057323820192808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10576883168268968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1337826456077743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15594879173487464,0.13028534104497788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1323740553761564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07648472674213262,0.10806459076206927,0.0,0.0,0.27650910015911495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07903033689903724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14977730237721942,0.0,0.161025663696352,0.27100957502483625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10139053334997083,0.0,0.15173231420068214,0.30048290008770623,0.0,0.0,0.16193357656769908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12330212769170346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068437779346029,0.14780203171025846,0.0,0.26714162035072514,0.0,0.12702549565592047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365236352286805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15238476452031505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1207392234394067,0.1607720126480843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10250187983360172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1444006870004116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09690498968594878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053956268574267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15527256223746105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12080136847432305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12158202736193842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17563169633188058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1764090545399867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16453416901629728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08922071341171503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16888329035883584,0.0,0.14581520165938638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09741046185674818
divorce,zuelfay83,2018/04/06,"I really could use some advise from an outside source. I have no idea what I’m doing! You will have to excuse the lengthily back story. I (34f) have been with my husband (40m) for 12 years and married for 6. We have a 9 year old and I have 4 step children. Our lives are very much intertwined. He works for my father and 2 of his kids live with us. We met when I was a lot younger and much more naive. I had just gotten out of a relationships  and we pretty much moved in together right away. There were so many red flags in the beginning like his temper and him neglecting to tell me about 2 of the 4 step children. Like I said I was very naive. He went through job after job because of his temper and ended up with my father for the past 7 years. One of his previous jobs he had ended up cheating on me, which I didn’t find out until after we got married. Believe me, if I would have known I never would have married him. For the past 12 years his temper has caused serious issues like breaking things in the house and a lot of strain on me. He yells constantly about everything and has called me some pretty horrible things. This does happen in front of my children. I love him but am no where near being in love with him. I tell him I love him to avoid fighting. I keep threatening to leave as hopes to him changing and things do change but only temporarily. I come from a very broken home where I witnessed physical and emotional abuse so I have tried everything in my power to change this but I have come to the conclusion that I cannot make someone change. 

Like I said my husband works for my father. So if we split up I doubt he will want to work for him. I make all the appointments in the house for everyone including stepkids. He does not have a license because Of back child support. So I am the chauffeur. He has no way to get my and his kids around. He also has no where to go because he has burned bridges with his family. 

I know in my heart that it is over and I will never feel the same. 

My main concern is every time I mention divorcing he backs me into a corner and turns things around on me and I end up caving in and letting things go on. He gets very mad and verbal and will usually throw things and involve the kids when we talk about it. He also threatens me by saying he will take my son away from me and tells me I’m a coward because I’m running away from the problem. 

I guess I need advice on how to do this or where do I start! 
Thank you for your input and your time! ",3.2361194490131564,4.385744748046875,4.161221217105266,89.2267886513158,73.19921875,7.186348684210527,24.41118421052632,7.573540080772713,0.9832101562499992,1949,56,420,23,38,629,234,512,0.134,0.7879999999999999,0.079,-0.9783,4,1,1,0,3,0,40.0,8,4,0,5,23,22,6,3,22,0,42,4,1,5,3,78,77,38,0,9,8,7,1,4,0,7,0,4,1,7,15,39,0,3,6,0,0,11,9,12,0,1,13,6,79,10,74,54,11,73,0,1,1,3,73,34,0,10,30,296,94,7,0.0,0.08255869458076806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06808990294449603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114451815258683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12405887724124848,0.0,0.0,0.1963982691617257,0.16073747194218474,0.0,0.1699036612570794,0.0,0.0,0.07850482237306132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711504577142009,0.0,0.0,0.07157993756247284,0.2948462628814664,0.1200452660059209,0.0,0.07529867701182827,0.0,0.05563333079341546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1219538244714467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07837994606792834,0.18514579856903016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05870789949229071,0.06658165245521873,0.1252467029874327,0.0,0.06568753672623276,0.0,0.03523199811832887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06368570897397385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0728092208606651,0.0,0.07920081722000022,0.0,0.055728981271709284,0.0,0.07675971449083893,0.0,0.061617263031992775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08257042413375468,0.0,0.0,0.06989411920672127,0.06920736610704455,0.0,0.16080134382929284,0.0,0.0786595608518323,0.0,0.0727271900069183,0.2074381574735041,0.061934252025404174,0.0,0.0,0.038293975799546964,0.0,0.0,0.07378042336767827,0.0,0.07125190711358627,0.0,0.1361673401974114,0.0,0.12305637303583887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11847786772635048,0.1886651360748591,0.0,0.09302308073383453,0.0706439746781617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07405817459732109,0.1536671285745612,0.0516663919705954,0.10748209728957543,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07311680864497032,0.0,0.047216564551485415,0.0529943233433033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13303374279773345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14177799937572316,0.0,0.06667377510121049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04463840768867247,0.0,0.0,0.07480959848681848,0.0,0.05950582661916407,0.13256213106697184,0.055411855365091786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05903912924476961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04931943774318813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07907135703750952,0.0,0.0,0.052390236863590386,0.05600566206741454,0.18270859973619288,0.06415142951807984,0.0,0.0,0.2777513819252129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08126123662000663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04730773851810103,0.07579117792663445,0.0,0.0,0.08381573843686699,0.060180629165408485,0.07674201453441579,0.2299712086672289,0.04109871527207674,0.05530826417010958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06459350160682413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218229857041035,0.0,0.0,0.09899649268970713,0.0,0.0,0.1794849955031325
divorce,ProfessorHex,2018/04/06,"Those who had an amicable divorce, how did you know it was time? No abuse, cheating, stealing or so forth--I mean the most ambiguous scenario: you still love each other, you just realize that you aren't compatible. Is there anyone who's had that and can describe how you knew?",2.649102564102563,5.435423653846158,3.4476923076923067,85.78064102564106,81.69230769230771,6.543589743589743,25.974358974358967,7.793537801064563,1.7290666666666668,218,9,41,4,6,69,44,52,0.226,0.7070000000000001,0.067,-0.8708,0,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,0,5,0,0,6,3,1,0,2,0,7,1,0,2,0,12,11,5,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,5,0,5,1,0,6,2,2,0,0,0,1,9,0,0,3,2,32,12,0,0.0,0.520904256060474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30740813098251274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24161592036736906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3967943568337216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4788993699322864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35109892311403035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2563589711722455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,be_kind_rewind_18,2018/04/06,"Cannot stop questioning myself My marriage isn't terrible (no physical or verbal abuse, generally get along ok) but it's also not great and hasn't been for years. We very much just live like roommates. I don't hate my husband, but I don't love him anymore. We've had conversations and he's agreed that he's been selfish and uncaring towards me and our kids but he wants to be better. Unfortunately some of it has been a pattern (should have been a red flag before we got married) and other parts went on so long that I just stopped caring. I tried for so long and put in so much unreciprocated love and work and eventually just gave up. He's not a bad person, he's just not the right person for me. 

I keep beating myself up though about whether or not my happiness should matter. He disagrees with my belief that we're incompatible. I constantly question myself if it is better for my husband and my children (5 and 2)  if I'm unhappy, but just bury it deep down, suck it up, and pretend to be happy so we all stay together as a single unit or if my happiness should matter and that it is not selfish (or is at least an acceptable selfishness) to want to be happy - to have more from a marriage than a roommate you live with that also happens to be the father of your children. 

I worry most about our kids. I waffle over whether it is better to have divorced parents that are happier (hopefully) or parents that stay together and aren't horrible with each other but obviously aren't in a healthy loving relationship. At some point they'll wonder why mommy and daddy sleep in separate rooms and don't hug like other parents do. 

TLDR: if it's not terrible, do you stay together for the greater good and have a mediocre life yourself or is it OK to choose your own happiness?",7.333932116554596,6.539654268011527,7.843030739673392,73.16776737111755,63.95677233429394,10.823503041946848,35.70429074607749,10.125756701596842,3.4871205251360866,1409,57,265,27,18,468,171,347,0.172,0.644,0.184,0.1795,3,0,0,0,2,0,33.0,5,4,1,6,14,29,2,0,12,2,34,6,1,0,2,75,51,41,0,10,28,6,0,2,0,4,1,0,1,6,19,24,0,3,6,1,0,2,15,8,0,0,8,1,31,21,36,35,13,27,1,0,1,4,40,16,1,17,8,196,50,1,0.0,0.11098101758887358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14981219984065464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09289328099650512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0782086943348911,0.0,0.0,0.07970439256427818,0.0,0.0,0.2485246522310152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550055721150144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122160773379417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04893755565057095,0.0,0.0,0.07856410041485418,0.07491469047726837,0.10326907204453158,0.0,0.0,0.08283011967494,0.4985555349699101,0.0,0.09247755311338887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09303325293850677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0832562378594863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06616033201619276,0.09152270426644657,0.0,0.16542075392135358,0.1657860978377487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2536165196343681,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13771321026626965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3120209966197749,0.10143309155224632,0.0,0.0,0.1635742071685227,0.0,0.0,0.0885463401360425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416200280523593,0.20985872924097373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10056415508556517,0.0,0.07999178310893866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09373543838381554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29951221212304924,0.0,0.1566209375998819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09202813067591234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359428267643955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07728573859977693,0.1104953818771494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08683098218008657,0.08452061375017968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10157872550041663,0.0681912686084399,0.09512419015272333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060318987430768564
divorce,A_Piece_of_Pai,2018/04/06,"Packing day So I (32M) am laying here on the couch on my final night living In the same house as my stbxw(29F).... I'm alone in the house tonight as she went to her mom's with our 5 yo DD, so I could sleep in our bed one last time and really sprawl out but meh... this has been my bed for the past year anyway. 

We've been together for 10 years, and I swear, everything I touched tonight to either be packed or tossed had a memory attached to it.  Literally, every. Single. Thing.   It killed me the entire time, a full third of my life occupies space and memories in my brain, it hurts, so bad.  We've been civil through our separation.  And it kills me because I still talk to her like a friend. It hurts because I want that connection to be there again but it isn't... And there's no signs that I can let go in the immediate future.  

I just laid in our daughters bed tonight, bringing up every memory I could,  drowning myself in emotion.  I touched everything, I silently did my goodbyes to her room where so many a story were read and tiny life lived. 

And now I'm here thinking about this house and all our shared memories wanting to forget them but not ever trying to. Face hurts from ugly crying, idc.  Tomorrow I get my keys to a my apartment and probably never sleep here again. Everything hurts now and I'm alone. 
I'm ready for this to be over.",2.93580808080808,4.545581685185186,3.924511784511786,88.7848484848485,74.74074074074073,7.2794612794612785,24.494949494949488,8.00094639256281,1.220222222222222,1045,33,222,16,22,337,155,270,0.172,0.767,0.061,-0.9886,0,2,0,0,0,0,41.0,5,0,1,0,19,10,2,0,11,0,16,6,4,0,3,30,27,20,3,4,7,2,2,1,1,0,2,0,5,0,12,12,0,0,1,1,0,3,4,7,0,2,7,2,33,3,32,14,5,41,0,4,0,0,15,17,0,1,22,146,45,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2202521401015152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08878131618475027,0.12963586528070534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186997229904745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16979210271259804,0.0,0.11679878523116845,0.06857421388138417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11960721804336673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09618179740328564,0.1791756409058236,0.0,0.2866883137514757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11647958998762495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08215048632439198,0.0,0.055553166287598287,0.0,0.060429930675351524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3680724922237426,0.4553149213119706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2352773319340164,0.0,0.0,0.08667334433892973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10872988331421644,0.15020839832630214,0.05194758853005023,0.0,0.18778311519336413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10780218291370272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453270207842533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08200844279180297,0.0,0.0,0.09978373532634822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0720521283170294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10150425383135403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1146419921184607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10635902310076424,0.0,0.06811788001105043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2128140781186024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08491547390461973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08546422612685803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0706410924527901,0.06813212989188892,0.0,0.0,0.12400404611734946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07219125911581079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543267112200648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09856920575291453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.136946387881224
divorce,leoselassie,2018/04/06,"Just had my season finale moment moving out https://youtu.be/IEt5AI_FP0M

Just had my own empty house season finale minus the heartwarming goodbyes and humor. 

A wave of emotions crashed down on me as its as real as its ever been that this chapter of my life is over. 

As someone who holds it all in and deals with it, I couldnt stop it as its all to real this is coming to a close. The memories here with what was my family will remain but living with the ghosts of them in this house are gone. Its for the better but it hurts now. 

/emo rant

Edit wrong video",4.413454545454549,5.727157390909093,5.005227272727275,83.66784090909091,70.54545454545455,6.954545454545455,21.022727272727273,7.1686216300943375,0.573818181818182,443,8,84,4,8,142,75,110,0.108,0.8170000000000001,0.075,-0.7101,0,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,0,1,1,5,5,0,0,6,0,9,1,0,0,3,20,11,9,1,1,4,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,14,8,0,2,0,1,0,3,1,2,0,0,5,0,7,3,20,4,3,18,0,1,0,0,3,7,0,0,8,68,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701002022725679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16567521312602376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19828372280838816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2163452954316382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17397344169325252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.181311550366432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42137609618998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4438458557550305,0.20589317847430352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1358483243897305,0.0,0.0,0.1698308605374121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20441628842790494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378271558686548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16296053390259688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1607964416811347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2102825967687003,0.0,0.0
divorce,Good2Go5280,2018/04/06,"My parents divorce ruined my life. I’m 42/m. My parents got divorced when I was five or six.  I’m an only child.  My dad used to abuse me.  Nothing terrible but I knew he liked being mean to me; kicks and punches mostly for petty shit and other psychological shit.  My mom divorced him over this and other shit.  I saw my dad every other weekend but got no parenting from him whatsoever.  My mom and I moved to the hood and she worked late.  I was mostly a latchkey kid.  A couple years later, she met my stepdad.  He was an alcoholic ex-cop.  He sucked shit.  He  occasionally physically abused me but he mostly never gave a shit and was an alcoholic dick.  One time, he put a gun to my mom’s head.  

I’m married and I’ve got a 16 month old kid now and I own my own business which does pretty well, but could be doing a lot better.  I’m a great father to my kid and can’t imagine hitting him or treating him in a way similar to my father.  

I’ve never really given my childhood much thought until a couple weeks ago.  Since then I’ve realized that I’d have a much better life and career, and have more resources to be a better father if I didn’t have such a self centered, abusive and indifferent dad, and a discouraging mom that married a man just as bad as my dad. That being typed, things would’ve been better for me if they’d stayed together.   A bad dad is better than no dad.  

Lately I’m super fucking bitter and dwell on my childhood all day long and how I missed my window to have the amazing career I always wanted.  I’m on the verge of tears, half the day, every day.  

I’ve forgiven my parents.  Today, my dad is a completely different person and my mom always loved the shit out of me and tried to do her best.  

How do I get over this?",1.600097488433576,3.588050143258428,3.807012557832123,86.41746530072705,79.87078651685394,6.098347653668211,21.98744216787839,7.1686216300943375,0.7674520158625247,1345,41,275,17,34,462,178,356,0.207,0.6409999999999999,0.152,-0.9735,6,0,2,1,5,0,39.0,0,0,1,8,7,29,9,1,24,0,22,14,8,3,3,45,46,32,0,4,9,19,0,1,0,0,4,0,1,7,10,18,2,1,5,1,0,2,6,16,1,4,15,2,42,13,24,24,11,35,0,3,1,3,46,8,9,8,24,173,52,4,0.0,0.25513079461058064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06362567317924528,0.1534148292980663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11944785237911633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11986101626276202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07532517029919207,0.31740308879219603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07525645630467108,0.0,0.0,0.057307817846980136,0.15883900528319053,0.0,0.1388700120440633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0749913267409179,0.0,0.0,0.06281223377137288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12094985370465053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06635636020016364,0.03750033933935686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17221904182096234,0.07913401463248694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07366355475874163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16193438458268986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1013959470770093,0.035066447655802656,0.0,0.0,0.06352008027387919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06102194463039326,0.06478123274937556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07818581845435209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4203197494280824,0.05729144058100731,0.07628722421209849,0.1055281991068768,0.0,0.1107171611952346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06887163551729343,0.0,0.07531752443401059,0.0,0.04863771846996734,0.054589379887379295,0.0,0.0,0.31879792111110805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06267260587947138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07302266147881666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0721553623005407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045981962616993804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07487870422126418,0.0,0.4420662243741844,0.05937439006106693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07650436317317197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04768521967889863,0.0,0.0,0.05698264589258234,0.04185354426766467,0.0,0.0680358755432152,0.0,0.0,0.04873163664809326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06199198367134399,0.0,0.0,0.04233573030712438,0.05697296716357021,0.057574902485932236,0.0,0.06453583214168325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052254259102291215,0.0,0.0,0.05098807576000018,0.0,0.0,0.0462218120049041
divorce,throwaway1034271,2018/04/06,"I really need someone else’s opinion Hello guys. So my wife(21)and I(22)got married after 6 months of dating, moved in with each other and had a terrible fight. Things were thrown, expensive things were broken, cops were called. We never recovered from that and that was the FIRST time we separated and talked divorce. We lasted about a month apart and we got back together after. Things were fine for a little while then our arguments started to
Get out of control again. Four months went by and I decided we should actually go thru with the divorce again. We separated again and basically hated each other after this one. We went three months scarcely talking to each other, only when we needed something from each other. We moved on and started dating other people but not getting into relationships. We ran into each other the other day at the park and talked, caught up with each other. Fast forward a week and we’re talking about getting back together. 
I would like to try again but I know that In the end we’ll probably do the same thing again. We just always fight. It’s a toxic relationship but we can’t seem to get away. All this has happened over the course of a year. I don’t know what to do. My heart tells me yes but my brain is being the logical one and tells me no.

Tldr: wife and I have a toxic relationship and have separated twice from each other but want to get back together. What do.",3.5169635627530336,6.064473593984964,4.325563909774433,82.27257374204746,76.21804511278195,6.949450549450551,23.764603817235397,8.012643519586192,1.5144192018507807,1120,36,200,19,26,359,144,266,0.063,0.9,0.037000000000000005,-0.7096,0,0,1,0,4,0,30.0,14,0,0,2,13,6,3,0,15,1,19,2,2,1,2,59,40,21,0,5,7,1,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,1,21,37,0,1,5,0,1,8,5,4,0,6,11,0,25,2,33,25,9,51,0,0,0,0,31,13,0,2,33,160,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.1006113074825446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08578795357618223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09686640209841896,0.23783397871923784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509436052127894,0.10527723399774457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11563608319706499,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06649135394832123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0861273168601332,0.0,0.09131652456800587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08769731274261451,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2693290257011172,0.0,0.05859444362800195,0.0,0.1649179271724255,0.0,0.0,0.10208579769293516,0.0911715149405843,0.0,0.0,0.1017904917732104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1221747005161896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11332278049838125,0.08404074491168158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05036974250536756,0.10333388086873553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3291756425574954,0.21915923036913548,0.0,0.1528955684067774,0.07951753418351194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13972726176473255,0.07841264776644646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07147697043064097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1111598783833606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06604888067486231,0.0,0.0,0.3320743614950289,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385890875617416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735679887670139,0.07937187444093265,0.0,0.0,0.1459502624363441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33147340889097343,0.18022892731617016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739818141961756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060118785580792165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999853574912693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060811401693084625,0.0,0.08270107772117508,0.0,0.0,0.19115056745553607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07323970400664173,0.0,0.0,0.06639340236772652
divorce,QuietQuirkyPandaPup,2018/04/07,"It was the best thing My ex was emotionally abusive and draining, the day I married him I was filled with dread. I had encouraged him to have weight loss surgery and felt that I had to marry him out of obligation.

Less than 6 months after marrying my grandfather passed away, my ex was a monster. I wanted to go home, lay in bed and cry...he insisted I needed a bubble bath. Notes, I hate baths and at the time our home was under construction. He dragged me around the store while I was crying and begging him to take me home. He wouldn’t so I walked out. I started walking home and he began slowly creeping behind me in the car. Eventually the police stopped him and told them I was just emotional. After I spoke with the police he pushed me into the car and started calling me every name possible. He made my loss his loss and completely made it about him.

Eventually he was hurt and became a drug addict. We purchased a new home and he lied to me about the finances. At the time I was insanely depressed, I couldn’t get out of bed I was so sad. He was a bastard about it. He never cleaned or cooked, he abused Rx drugs and constantly lied to me. When I did have the energy to do anything I had to care for him. He was an emotional leech. He needed me to do everything for him. I began recording him when he was high to prove to him that he had a problem. Several times I had to physically stop him from driving on ambien. 

Now here’s the thing. I began emotional cheating because I was unhappy. I constantly had to beg for sex and he would bitch that I wouldn’t touch him. Several times he called me disgusting telling me that nobody wanted me. I found men who were attracted to me. I was younger than him, taller, and not overweight, but I was disgusting. 

Eventually I physically cheated. I don’t regret it. We eventually separated but he never stopped harassing me. He would try to sext me and 30 minutes later he was berating me. 

I’m happily remarried, my divorce took so long that my husband and I eloped the day after my divorce was finalized. Honestly, I wish I had never married this person. Everything was horrible but now I’m finally happy. 

I have a spouse that loves and worships me. We are very happily child free. Divorce isn’t the end of the world, for me it was the beginning of a new and wonderful life with my husband. Don’t be afraid to start over because new and beautiful things will come to you if you invite them in. 

I hope that everyone going through this finds their happiness.",3.1016648075850526,5.224689149284259,4.477651515151519,82.75465909090909,75.70756646216769,8.208235731548616,28.087051496560697,8.97023862654752,2.4637930470347644,1970,83,380,46,44,652,225,489,0.121,0.736,0.14400000000000002,0.9724,0,0,2,0,4,0,54.0,4,2,3,4,14,29,8,2,25,0,45,10,0,2,4,65,76,30,0,14,7,5,3,0,0,5,6,1,10,3,18,31,3,3,5,3,4,12,10,18,0,0,39,4,81,12,53,30,2,67,1,7,0,2,62,17,2,4,38,262,99,1,0.0,0.1849751227266164,0.0,0.08509620978734038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423619116520535,0.0694893680173688,0.0,0.0,0.07333932568815106,0.0,0.0,0.09516850633455516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08191846837871977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15941464087545165,0.0,0.07958670624240499,0.0,0.0,0.0672412152498086,0.08184373976987648,0.1687088451694024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08574452685660602,0.10068364173797782,0.0,0.06723240084591599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18104811970947896,0.0,0.0,0.3512250337010049,0.06913741184687132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576836618331196,0.07458905083701496,0.14030941485841564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07494921407712281,0.17102039738124172,0.07134482862896785,0.0,0.0,0.08558804449187501,0.0,0.0,0.04078278681827708,0.0,0.08872585110333488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16619125192872367,0.0,0.07706744409199427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08247398543942347,0.39149944605421777,0.07753054420399327,0.0,0.0,0.08356414499812252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05513562499338566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908006535745365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07045160794772377,0.1477232822997173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06230622572727047,0.0,0.0,0.1157600328364281,0.18061254091417686,0.2261706100973183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06815841056259132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08800018466022198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07469225255207815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17636968589885615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16575242188021042,0.0,0.0,0.1957833270736768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05869091403836595,0.0,0.06822730953420253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557748405542185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18206813095859994,0.0,0.0,0.07458905083701496,0.0867268062494984,0.052997172391960834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06440713598189324,0.09208285014634413,0.0,0.0,0.09505525484954383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08976439624486646,0.0,0.08465203159993638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11090224038649517,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheDudeRocks,2018/04/07,"Maintenance Amount Met with an attorney her in the state of Illinois and verify how much a month I would be paying her non maintenance.  Before taxes, it’s $3000/month.  

Seems high but the math and how Illinois calculates its accurate.  For comparison, is this what others are paying?",5.9091176470588245,8.049726529411764,6.272696078431372,72.7996323529412,68.01960784313728,10.590196078431372,28.43627450980393,10.686352973137794,3.574839215686274,227,8,37,7,4,73,43,51,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,2,0,8,6,5,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,4,3,2,4,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,26,8,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34002803692093386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4221966934165125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6379098170449787,0.0,0.2937501374667401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637785520672881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2838625957881731,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,WeakStrategy,2018/04/07,"Divorcing and Moving? So my SO and I have been together essentially forever. I'm avoiding too much specific info for the sake of anonymity.

I hate the state I live in and always have. Together we have several thousand in the bank and they've always sworn up and down that we can amicably split everything 50/50 in a divorce. Would it be ridiculous of me to quit my job and move far away? I should mention that I recently got promoted, so it's really not the best timing career wise, but something happened today that made me realize it's time to stop lying to myself about what this relationship is. I've been unhappy a long time but haven't wanted to throw all these years away. But why add on several more in misery just because I feel too invested?",5.374620689655174,6.570213255172418,6.503620689655175,74.26094827586209,68.17241379310346,10.489655172413793,31.74137931034483,10.577609850970193,3.618641379310345,602,25,108,17,10,202,99,145,0.168,0.8059999999999999,0.026,-0.9693,1,1,1,0,1,0,12.0,2,0,0,3,7,5,2,1,6,0,11,0,0,1,1,24,18,12,0,3,5,0,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,9,0,2,3,0,2,3,2,3,0,1,4,1,13,2,17,11,4,22,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,0,8,77,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779748264171597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3138718221673321,0.0,0.0,0.10182365400789373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17529407789019147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1501212729174239,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08445846922578902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13359402534915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1477094684237498,0.0,0.0,0.16491356363016935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1657575516096534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14749593338672648,0.1478216890170114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15805359320150705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3550658716056173,0.1227907502922095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17766344942786844,0.0,0.0,0.10700760057377047,0.0,0.16492799383520326,0.17933425604679507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3774064880521374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12859254767354902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1396496559928736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922002732829645,0.0,0.1583306883931155,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09852221742769562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1507240962210666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1186576504008292,0.0,0.0,0.1075657696043782
divorce,FastCarsAndDope,2018/04/07,"Questions about kids and divorce. My son is 2, his mother and I are about to get a divorce and I plan on moving afterwards. We live in the Midwest and I plan to go to the west coast. My question is how would custody and staying close work best? 

He is too young for phone calls, FaceTime and the like. While we could do it, his mother would have to be involved and that would make it rough. 

I would prefer to have full custody but I dont see that happening as I have a trivial past and dont think I would win that fight. Mentally I believe I am much better for him in the long run though and would raise him better. I am also much more stable, and able to help with things like homework and teaching him how to be a normal adult.  I just made a mistake when I was younger and I know she would use it against me if I went for full custody. 

Part of me feels she would try to keep him mostly out of spite for me and so she doesnt look bad to other people. While I just want what's best for him. 

Everything online is mostly focused to teens and older children. Any advice would be great. ",2.2113439849624044,3.8439992321428567,3.020394736842108,94.40618421052635,76.76785714285714,5.4300751879699245,22.503759398496236,5.750287758089431,0.11611071428571362,844,24,186,4,19,266,126,224,0.067,0.759,0.174,0.9794,0,0,0,0,3,0,18.0,2,0,0,8,11,12,2,0,8,0,28,0,0,5,0,50,42,25,0,15,4,3,2,2,0,9,0,0,1,3,9,19,0,1,6,0,0,4,3,4,0,0,3,4,32,8,26,26,10,21,0,0,2,0,28,8,0,5,10,140,41,3,0.10555476717279487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10314689683628864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08441210917219705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07178086130469917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08813382156371341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11892407632106748,0.22154643187245546,0.18670922749433572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10778321901389394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08427689251790016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2474188019912609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09486581852423016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05337166184845237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0551480092354328,0.0,0.059989206694863385,0.0,0.0,0.11637450344906955,0.0,0.0,0.0933417320109306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0707511354369257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09382192701177083,0.0,0.0,0.0580101395425251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10313745492678474,0.0,0.0932067932665598,0.09341264733311076,0.08863941977771665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0998784729063964,0.07045862673404049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10637437856398108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11218801268230053,0.15518979831835414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10342126043021643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11430552661116655,0.1007639690372945,0.07317838497296053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23649099315368824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08411348321494186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11250733729753364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07012589703383319,0.06763523268963323,0.10370702281644546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07166475811343666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09116542805366276,0.0,0.0,0.06225893650822971,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0978503266771406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07684512765300422,0.0,0.0,0.6748477027679866,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Retail_itch,2018/04/07,"I am lonely and missing him I kicked my STBX out of our flat on Tuesday, as I couldn’t stand to be around him and not hug him or kiss him or sleep in the same bed and not be touching. I moved away from my friends and family to be with him 4 years ago and what friends I have made up here are through him, so they have all taken his side. The first night without him was liberating; I watched what I wanted on tv, I planned meals for the next week I know he wouldn’t like, I went to be when I was tired and not when he was. But today, I’ve had the whole day off and I’m so lonely. There’s housework and schoolwork that needs doing but I’ve no motivation. Is this what my future will be? Sitting at home, watching tv until it’s time to go to bed where I won’t sleep? It’s been 7 years of ‘us’. I don’t know how to be ‘me’. ",0.5354670329670341,1.9191399505494504,2.202293956043956,99.53333104395605,80.8131868131868,5.20934065934066,19.61675824175824,5.602791699666715,-0.513814285714286,629,15,163,3,16,206,111,182,0.071,0.865,0.064,0.1489,0,4,0,0,0,0,16.0,2,0,1,3,9,8,0,0,4,0,22,6,2,3,1,30,32,19,0,4,8,0,1,1,2,3,1,0,3,0,7,11,1,0,3,2,0,3,9,3,0,1,8,3,28,5,24,14,3,31,0,3,2,2,15,11,0,2,16,113,35,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16771142476547124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16842514057485772,0.0,0.0,0.17775649126071635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12201619468656688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17835777419809484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16093058344710934,0.0,0.0,0.29234574238916045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075248226532145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1897796774326091,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20795507425612714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.092431932016664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17902245550204507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20108610918693556,0.0,0.14028692704869844,0.0,0.0,0.20121279567748493,0.17754825009284975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3786665937239542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11032209468086958,0.21745373020639291,0.17933631272354028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22758028836845154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11159309274877197,0.0,0.15176214952486422,0.0,0.0,0.17538720050151194,0.0,0.2112313157345453,0.0,0.18237882999061766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2436728936366809
divorce,ChronoLuxLight,2018/04/07,"Illinois Divorce/Separation and my living situation. So long story short Ive been out of work for 5 months and my wife got fed up with being the only one doing something to provide. 
I have borderline personality disorder, she has bipolar and she isn't on medication but I am.
I have an extensive background and it prevents me from finding any type of work, so I enrolled in school with the help of my mother.
On Easter Day my wife decided that she would start the process of separation, by spending the night at her best friends house. Mind you my wife is bisexual as well and her friend is a woman. She said she has no feelings for her, but I refuse to believe that after she locked her phone and refused to let me read the conversations they had even though I know her friend is manipulating her into thinking a certain way about me. 
It has taken a turn for the worst and she's removed her wedding rings, our photos off of social media, and now she won't go to the counseling appointment I have set up.
I have a tendency to get angry and violent with myself if she shows any sign of abandonment because that is where my trauma lies.
She hasnt been supportive of the fact my brother just was arrested for hit and run murder after turning himself in, the fact I havent had a job, and she has not been supportive of me in general. She has been just hammering things over my head making me feel guilty and worthless.
She is now telling me that I have until Wednesday to find somewhere else to stay or she will have the police remove me. 
We live in an apartment that she has the lease to, and only her but since we are married should that not mean I am entitled to staying here if the rent is already paid?
Thanks for your time.",6.5695001557147314,6.38593387278107,6.918308938025537,77.14673154780445,65.30177514792899,9.837682964808472,33.76580504515727,9.414487439383343,2.943837869822485,1371,54,263,23,19,446,190,338,0.171,0.7440000000000001,0.085,-0.9876,2,0,1,0,1,0,24.0,3,2,1,3,12,15,2,0,19,0,39,4,1,2,3,52,59,24,1,4,10,5,2,0,3,4,2,2,1,2,9,20,1,4,8,2,3,4,7,6,1,1,12,4,58,9,45,40,2,36,0,2,0,0,49,16,0,3,12,205,67,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13511677322523574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16652826216757508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07463894411838233,0.0,0.0,0.13794916499793333,0.12849435635962408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07896436540569647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14032808210744252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1022838085872287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08087117662839208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1238197750078598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22381785245018934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28379301722345995,0.0,0.06397040919441285,0.0,0.06958608574854941,0.0,0.09792731452960768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12565986931446674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820696730057393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14128056367278874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12150387601326583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729041384101372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1252042969299472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21623542853583053,0.1083565002015177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173036970765267,0.0,0.0,0.13337422774934166,0.0,0.12334650368265802,0.0,0.0,0.12363058380239585,0.0,0.09773129955274913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11490265643415673,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08296924261538757,0.1862439130197372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10691082571570958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12247421135368818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1164695030079479,0.0,0.0,0.123916906801176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10128452421466196,0.1376289006947215,0.0,0.12481325869357147,0.0,0.09426112305007604,0.0,0.0,0.08666442454336391,0.26101179368312954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778893665090537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10701889815878908,0.11272729327873253,0.0,0.0,0.08134441098732012,0.07845529822562071,0.12029773654349506,0.0,0.07139637667835831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26636146400037536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971880278066822,0.0,0.0,0.11008923285855847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782771247307742,0.0,0.0,0.08697862813683205,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cid21,2018/04/07,"I'm so completely lost, dieing inside So my wife and I, she's 36 and I'm 41, separated in December after a year of spiraling out of control. She filed at the beginning of March and I filed my response last week. We were together for 9, married for 8. We have three kids, 12, 8 and 4, the oldest being hers from a past relationship but I never saw him as anything but my beautiful, wonderfully gifted son that I never loved any different than the other two. I was sahd for the last 8 years and loved every second.

We've always had our differences and communication issues. I can be emotional, over think things and obsess when things are not going well and she would rather never talk about any emotion ever. It was a recipe for diaster. She's a guarded person, which I recognized right away but I thought I understood. Her Mother is a super critical, controlling, angry person. She's passive agressive, nothing is direct and straight forward. Her Mother is the type of person who is always angry, never happy. My wife has a lot of these behaviors too and the absolute lack of communication was difficult for me to deal with especially when things went South. I felt very insecure all the time because I never had any clue how my wife was feeling moment to moment. I never got any feedback, never given a clear idea about what she wanted, needed or felt, ever, except through vague, passive agressive innuendo and different variations of resting bitch face. She's angry a lot and never would give a clear indication of what she is angry about, or even who. Through counseling we were able to work some of these things out but eventually it was just too much for either of us.

The beginning of the end started a year ago last October, things changed. Contentious conversations about her mood, her constant lashing out and passive agressive slights turned into opportunities for her to berate me, point out all of my flaws and direct any blame for anything at all squarely at me. Everything became my fault because of everything she hated about me personally. Then it became a problem for her every time she perceived my mood to be anything short of optimal. She closed up shop and I probably should have recognized then but I still believed that we could work this stuff out.

She's an apartment manager for a huge complex and around October is when she started talking about one of her tenants. He's funny, he can get us weed, he can jailbreak our fire stick, he likes to hangout at a bar near our house. January was when I asked why he was on her Snapchat. There was four people on her Snapchat, me, her bff that she rarely talked to, a friend of her bff that she never talked to and this guy. She was so withdrawn, so angry. Around April was when I asked her if something was going on. The anger I received as an answer took me by surprise to say the least and turned concern into suspicion.

This November she comes home from work to tell me that she ""doesn't think she wants to be married to me anymore"" because she's ""not in love with me anymore"". The next two weeks were hell. She had absolutely nothing left for me except blame and disdain. It's December now and I ask her if she is just holding on until after Christmas for the kid's sake which she confirms and my world is shattered. The next day I tell her, just like our therapist instructed us, that I need a break and that I was going to my mom's. The day after that she told me she doesn't want me to come home and that she had the locks changed. Three days after that we go to my son's holiday band concert where she proceeds to sit right next to me, trying really hard to show me that she is texting someone. Their back and forth goes on and on through the concert, huge paragraphs. I see the contact, it's dude's initials. I knew right then.

I asked her about it and she was super quick to confirm that they're fucking now but of course nothing had happened until she told me that I couldn't come home. Since she's told me how wonderful he is and how much easier he has made the separation because of how much we're alike, especially in bed. She's since moved on from him. She's all over dating apps and adult sites advertising ""fun little slut looking to just have fun"". She's fucking a 22yr old now. 

She won, she got everything. She won't let me see the kids, she filed a totally erroneous TRO based on completely fabricated nonsense. She's in our home, driving our car, with our kids. She's probably on my couch right now watching TV with them or planning their day. I haven't heard a word from them in almost a month. I have nothing. No home, no car, no money. 41yrs old with limited education that has been out of the workforce for a decade to raise kids. I had to pan handle to help pay for clothes to wear to a job interview.

I loved her so much. She was my one and I loved being a Dad more than I have ever loved anything ever. She fucking hates me so much and only wants to hurt me. I don't get it and I swear I die a little inside everytime I have to think about any of this.

I didn't deserve this and I don't know how much more I can take.

",4.216480856449742,5.765933788577157,4.913880919734208,83.2212770277397,71.33466933867734,7.857841999789053,28.161639067608906,8.412272828100454,1.9712813627254504,4043,150,781,65,76,1301,401,998,0.156,0.7509999999999999,0.093,-0.9971,3,0,1,0,0,0,106.0,15,0,4,12,48,36,8,2,46,0,66,13,2,8,20,142,135,66,2,16,21,9,5,2,1,4,0,4,8,11,41,56,1,5,16,9,3,15,22,16,1,8,43,15,150,18,127,80,20,137,1,2,6,10,140,52,5,11,72,556,191,10,0.04539728553622367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04024195451239242,0.0,0.04545882384021874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07554835653371676,0.0,0.0,0.18523026542331475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004381727483345,0.0,0.0,0.14943239158759938,0.08082641782138318,0.16976133517315267,0.0,0.04265224414853911,0.034907710370153736,0.0,0.11069505560204644,0.0,0.0,0.051147194906329366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09604861726415442,0.11731722521724805,0.0951963803304578,0.0490583379835057,0.10183383187683193,0.036246038489930216,0.0,0.0,0.11710997418854335,0.04680260799972802,0.0,0.0,0.09423043015909986,0.14229150319700104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213167184133544,0.0402085203568661,0.0,0.0,0.029984478944678827,0.16425777524464313,0.07649834206627718,0.0,0.12240045901826475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022954231602923196,0.0,0.087177026719651,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.035073830192450604,0.1259071768683762,0.047436415977629084,0.04354921293182565,0.10320129420436654,0.0,0.07261671272855187,0.0,0.0,0.04495045003192608,0.040144669672844725,0.0483262546124045,0.04066705090483811,0.08964084167593325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03042884356122164,0.0,0.2276858943062269,0.0,0.0,0.05238237235257249,0.048598733095519694,0.05124800959380929,0.0,0.04738297151475288,0.045049800978629234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.024949160889125015,0.1110145404210273,0.0,0.0,0.04932428356577178,0.046421800220986346,0.0,0.04435764121506585,0.09100001280426,0.0,0.0,0.03812228625190238,0.0,0.049556499875970016,0.0771902974812075,0.2458369357488345,0.04295600923481816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053168752146618016,0.036235680199646056,0.048250130068900665,0.20023337008647424,0.067323023996387,0.3151186673347375,0.0,0.1448415845662482,0.0,0.0,0.1742396793742729,0.0,0.0952736290497323,0.0,0.06152475114065869,0.03452668133033158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04333684585425568,0.03147276173949449,0.15855663470119385,0.0,0.0,0.04291510853118122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09789190409925212,0.043439071220834624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029082663578437324,0.0,0.0,0.04873969520606837,0.0,0.15507613520552405,0.0,0.036101743572025655,0.0,0.0,0.07235151793199612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07510620743633732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.038464972715082486,0.034949048316486465,0.0,0.0,0.06426486472217087,0.0,0.03625433087129258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051969030733570884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03413310896134605,0.14595447398161485,0.07935845705003293,0.0,0.0,0.052709747503032686,0.15079969651760314,0.08726624252869095,0.0,0.036040373789759314,0.05294304454294317,0.0,0.0,0.1301371553633804,0.05043805461350581,0.030821776923009463,0.09875842100940976,0.08869310297061092,0.0,0.163822034639215,0.0,0.0,0.03745751495574087,0.10710598084950093,0.0,0.07282992827021581,0.0,0.040817611691881764,0.04208373850802079,0.04096398910037576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09846283929097194,0.09914929364829614,0.0,0.0,0.06449785826635979,0.0,0.0,0.087703090430568
divorce,dmachisi,2018/04/07,"Rough guide of what to expect financially Post divorce After many years of a struggling marriage my wife is indicating she doesn’t want to try to work it out anymore. Divorce is probably in my near future and I am wondering what I can expect to happen financially. I always  hear that men just get screwed and so I am not expecting to have much to live on. But wondering just how bad it will really be. 

Here’s the scoop- living in GA, 3 kids- 1 over 18 and 2 teens. Married over 20 years.  Wife has worked very little of them and when she did made less than 10% of total income. Currently works a side biz making very little actual income. Have IRAs and equity in home but little in the way of savings. Have life insurance policy with cash value that was to be used for kids college. 

I know it all depends on our situation but wondering if there is at least some rule of thumb (eg, x dollars per kid under 18 per month plus 50% of remaining income for period of y years). 

Just trying to get a picture of what I am going to have to work with and really appreciate any info. 

As to the emotional side of things that too is overwhelming and I guess is a whole other post!  I am trying to wear my financial hat for this one ;)",4.758409090909094,5.495150243801657,6.1558574380165325,77.86742252066121,69.2892561983471,9.686363636363636,26.695247933884296,9.827888789773867,2.400346280991735,957,28,186,22,16,325,151,242,0.027000000000000003,0.914,0.06,0.7803,4,0,0,0,2,0,23.0,1,0,1,4,9,5,1,2,7,0,21,3,1,5,2,38,35,16,0,5,8,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,1,4,12,11,0,0,5,0,2,1,2,4,0,1,3,2,15,1,43,29,7,30,0,1,0,1,14,17,1,7,9,127,27,6,0.0,0.0,0.1169586848021256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0997268246799879,0.0,0.0,0.08150376373863454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11886140732759105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10007177455868192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13481785440890826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12523589808434069,0.0,0.0681148991591464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13203096623371802,0.0,0.10598510988159156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13508240157887358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12022176155982756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06586776226673198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08465531724518602,0.0,0.3603708699642029,0.2116637866739033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1134072691574909,0.08000242909183272,0.1215115545597968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09566506783817204,0.0,0.0881053279863433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08121510979191247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295709993467432,0.0,0.12922119296320342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15356107399209898,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1347191552932053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12529578477709707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07962463029725697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441158022137672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10351401995131512,0.0,0.19778161687856466,0.0706920697182162,0.09513328192434613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13381096025534556,0.0,0.0,0.389924550128986,0.3490159919987276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2315431102557191
divorce,NewlyDiagnosedPhD,2018/04/07,"Something Profound from my daughter So today while I was feeding the baby, I put my coffee down on the carpet and spilled it.  The coffee got very close to my router and a power strip. I asked my eldest to watch the baby.  I was irritated at my daughter for taking her time, so I got a little snappy with her. While cleaning up my mess, I apologized to her.  I told her that I was irritated with myself for spilling the coffee. I also explained that it is ok to make a mistake, but you should always try to learn from it. For example, I learned that putting my coffee so close to the router (and on the carpet) is not a good idea, so I placed my coffee on the table instead.  I also explained how important it is to clean up your mistakes, which is why I was frantically trying to clean up my coffee.  My daughter looked at me and said ""Yes, mom. I understand. But not all mistakes leave a mess."" The she walked into her room, leaving me standing there with my mouth wide open.  Her words really hit home. I thought that maybe her words would have some meaning for a few of you too, so I thought I should share.  I should also mention that she is 11. ",4.068023127753303,5.0892019779735715,4.862067731277534,85.4734540198238,71.0704845814978,7.084691629955947,27.403359030837002,7.1686216300943375,1.329044273127754,887,30,178,8,16,287,113,227,0.09,0.835,0.075,-0.4925,1,0,1,0,0,0,30.0,0,3,0,1,12,9,0,1,15,2,14,2,1,2,1,37,29,17,0,7,4,4,0,0,0,4,0,1,7,0,10,11,1,0,9,0,0,3,2,6,0,0,10,3,44,3,28,14,3,25,0,0,2,0,24,17,0,1,4,136,54,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3780141033607292,0.13110673093128558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14730203749137294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215807527135776,0.2520383037734978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1580505766175508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17787174500826813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336772417679227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15792155833525054,0.0,0.0,0.13231494516715256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051758840056296,0.0,0.15829525528164054,0.17163451428498452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18453826400652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1646219249885919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3167927587466735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10094019574976704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14988042978851554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12130126144806727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11846929669333706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2501780743308761,0.09187743869023686,0.0,0.14935322905944975,0.15056014271490714,0.0,0.21395263109744345,0.0,0.0,0.16403075768827186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1300076549637504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14217793591467975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11192967970915314,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ciderchic,2018/04/07,"Why does it hurt Been seperated for 3 months. Still have the house together but he's (39M) living in the house while I (34F) have moved out due to not being able to afford the house on my wage. I found out today that he has started seeing someone already and it absolutely crushed me. When asking him he denied it until he couldn't deny it anymore. Need to get the house sorted and out of my name but he cant afford to buy me out and won't sell. In Oz, what do I do? I don't want to go to court because it will just eat up all the money but I don't want to be taken for a ride either. Absolutely heart broken that after nearly 7 years he could replace me that quickly even though we had still been seeing each other up until 3 weeks ago. ",2.361666666666668,3.4722339936305744,4.093391719745224,89.0178370488323,75.30573248407643,6.252441613588111,20.72664543524416,6.42735559955562,0.17253333333333298,575,12,126,4,12,194,100,157,0.113,0.87,0.017,-0.9309,3,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,1,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,6,0,17,2,1,0,1,24,28,11,0,5,6,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,10,9,1,0,1,0,4,3,6,1,0,0,5,2,12,0,23,17,3,28,0,1,2,0,10,10,0,1,15,86,22,1,0.1438825726340491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12754321926242307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15877799676849375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14269284965238235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13451078269324274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08770948080795997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11487852641679652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12591260891960301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1472277921282687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09503308223592842,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1577598143520558,0.0,0.0,0.07517270566710561,0.0,0.08177178180311763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17050154133892526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6640846831028187,0.15402926985489854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12705094768679506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148456967566842,0.1529244042290025,0.0,0.10668710447868944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2293115636997202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12191123687623352,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1018408254699171,0.0,0.2298096167324952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14136389708123032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13638385510944712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973133841695015,0.0,0.11541392090404265,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12983164229967525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265565940088197
divorce,throwawy_12262017,2018/04/07,Pretend that you knew What if you could roll the clock back 12 months. What advice would you have given yourself?,4.23,6.860714142857147,2.5526190476190465,95.4632142857143,74.23809523809524,4.2,20.02380952380953,3.1291,-0.5313047619047624,91,2,17,0,2,25,18,21,0.065,0.935,0.0,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,0,3,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,5,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,1,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,1,3,12,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5358685411265679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4216687588478626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4378351344483616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4377100111629443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38955192928916094,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,jawabdey,2018/04/07,"[CA] No response from OC I was served with a request for discovery (prod. of documents, form interrogatories) last year.  I responded to the discovery request within 30 days and I served my own discovery at the same time.

The request was never answered.  **Literally, no response.  No objections, no documents.  Nothing.**  I then filed a motion to compel for discovery.  You have to respond nine (9) court days before the hearing and that date has passed.

**No response.**  Nothing has been filed in court.

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Similar stories?",2.8726149131767116,4.699163539325848,3.621435137895812,76.30414453524006,115.8539325842697,7.01144024514811,32.13534218590398,7.348242739294969,3.849152808988764,421,25,60,12,22,133,59,89,0.056,0.901,0.043,-0.2878,0,0,0,0,0,0,31.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,6,0,6,0,0,1,1,8,8,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,3,0,0,2,0,0,2,6,0,0,1,4,1,6,0,11,4,3,13,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,0,8,43,7,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26928771496110954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4081864411494148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3566781393448205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2579605508086605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24407669087752254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6073118461822471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2512372155637563,0.18453281272871333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2037925611301804
divorce,ShippingIsAlwaysFree,2018/04/07,"How to talk to adult son about the intimacy problems that impacted my marriage? Like a lot of parents, I never got too involved in my 24-year-old son's sexual experiences...including teaching/advising/etc. I'm not happy about that, but that's how my parents were, so it was the path of least resistance. He's ""in the know"" now, of course, but sex is still not something he and I can easily talk about.
    
Now that my wife and I are divorcing, I feel like he should know that the sexual relationship between his mother and me deteriorated to the point that I couldn't stand it any more, and left the marriage. There were other issues of course, but the sex was incredibly important to me; her, not so much. How can I communicate this to my son without sounding like I'm bad-mouthing his mom? I don't want to do that. I just want him to have the perspective on how important our sexual lives are to our relationships. Advice, please?",5.289338919925508,6.260668469273746,6.24649441340782,76.84653864059592,68.21787709497207,10.212476722532589,30.559124767225327,10.317481424215053,3.0894577281191804,732,28,143,19,12,243,99,179,0.038,0.847,0.116,0.9393,2,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,2,0,0,0,15,5,0,0,9,0,14,2,0,4,1,26,22,13,0,5,8,8,1,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,11,4,0,0,3,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,5,2,21,4,20,15,4,10,0,0,0,2,26,5,0,1,7,102,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16345475101025075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11374964416508873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13966384158064593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18655077133240394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08457696708305527,0.11949804523120047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378146191877482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1780625078767687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17458689497540178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18385493322291435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18173983689379106,0.0,0.0,0.2451596829177349,0.0,0.14770287476539493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14220735771368473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959051332207944,0.0,0.0,0.12296302953116707,0.0,0.1290092854505033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17552220277755362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3714680864434967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18361272730515849,0.15812464491929368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16005523340172065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35917173516336115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12877296701455065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358240004553326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2688913084765522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.197320894321572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16124274788264895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077166877222432
divorce,Theknowingkike,2018/04/08,"The 11 Year Affair My name is TheKnowingKike. I'm 23 years old, and this story isn't mine. It's my mothers. While busy at work I stepped away from my desk to answer my mother's call. For the past two weeks she had been very concerning. Breaking down and crying. Claiming my father was leaving her. My brother's and I thought she was going crazy, because my father encouraged us that she was going crazy. 
""I'm not leaving her.. she's losing it.. she's got old age"" -My father.

I painfully would drive to their house to see a devastated woman fighting some battle alone. Until the phone call. My mom proved she wasn't crazy to me and my brothers with one statement.
""Your father has been having an affair with another woman for 11 years."" 
She continued to explain that she cheated on him years ago. He forgave her, then a few years after began the affair. She has known about the affair but he told her it was pay back. She cheated first. This is what she deserves. She begged for it to end and has tried to get marriage counseling, working on the marriage, but my father refuses to change. She was holding on to the evidence and attempting to forgive him until he booked a trip to PANAMA CITY, PANAMA with his 35 year old Colombian mistress a few days ago. He left and she broke down and told us. So here's where the questions follow. 

My mother has never really had a full time job. She's had small jobs and attempted keeping jobs but her dyslexia made it difficult to keep a job. She never graduated high school, and married my father at the age of 23. So my father is the breadwinner. He supports her and pays for everything. She no longer wants to be with my father. She is devastated but he doesn't love her anymore. He told her. 

She wants a divorce but has no money. Everything she has, is his. She thinks he owns her. She feels if she asks for a divorce then she will be broke and homeless and will lose everything. I was hoping I could get advice on finding an attorney? Will my brother's and I have to chip in so she can receive a good attorney to get the best outcome? What are the steps? This is extremely new to us and we aren't very sure where to go from here.


** Some info**
They have been married for 33 years.
We are in the state of Georgia (US)


Please comment any suggestions, advice, knowledge!

Thank you",1.5499178255372958,4.183004491150445,2.6733438685208597,90.27214601769914,85.94690265486727,5.263969658659923,22.2307206068268,6.790227387841072,0.7563127686472813,1818,64,351,23,56,579,211,452,0.125,0.815,0.06,-0.9787,4,1,0,0,4,0,65.0,6,2,2,8,9,19,4,0,24,0,41,2,0,1,4,57,70,29,0,6,7,15,1,0,0,4,1,0,0,2,12,21,0,4,13,1,3,9,9,10,0,3,20,2,72,9,46,43,7,60,0,4,1,1,99,17,0,5,32,242,84,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15461566631249116,0.1402569407320681,0.0,0.0,0.08193670551275213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05379922246582786,0.08295636897196472,0.0,0.0,0.07845835581194455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395952127103234,0.0,0.07432881121354483,0.06083264001219332,0.0,0.04822625429428412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08302370268463412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1615654443932373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08369054996363985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06316490505808894,0.0,0.08690138189188562,0.05102102677393055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07007020564670194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21330367938286887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04000166418966962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07230740463546455,0.06729306407146288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123999070092393,0.0,0.13488439472016492,0.06635582335202345,0.06327350458456031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08358671471594899,0.0,0.07857657715488181,0.0,0.09128521941196213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314027851897963,0.1406376750496997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1675374589549682,0.085955978040353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1770133341416851,0.0,0.0,0.07140213272622269,0.07485817369380895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09265562034679213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203289599809188,0.07640735909071251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490458261447448,0.0,0.05360868699626183,0.0,0.08418129284018072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07552184646776182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08684178343020578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08862412153173012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05068150231862405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0800660878760049,0.06304243099908424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08977594346516596,0.07456260827295877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07283617387384238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05069210460643217,0.0,0.0628064992349614,0.04613114317265652,0.0,0.0,0.22678619251980825,0.0,0.053712203986219335,0.0,0.07728143076935648,0.0,0.3806504543398593,0.0,0.0,0.13055221891620705,0.09332522109128903,0.0,0.06345928681080075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1151897049680084,0.0,0.0,0.056199260161583185,0.0,0.0,0.3566210568842165
divorce,Boyburnsgrey,2018/04/08,"Stuck in limbo. Not sure where to go from here... My wife left me about two years ago. I tried to make it work, but she didn’t want to.

In November I finally decided it was time to move on. I hired a lawyer and found out that she had already filed back in May ‘17. My lawyer and I responded to her filing and sent back the final decree.

Months passed with no word. My lawyer said he was waiting for a response. Then last week my wife let it out that she’s trying to pay “legal fees.” So now I’m assuming the divorce isn’t moving forward because she can’t pay her lawyer and (somehow) burned through her retainer already. 

At this point I just want all this to be over with. It seems crazy to me that this is still going on... broke people get divorced all the time, right?

It’s so frustrating. I’m ready to move forward with my life, but I can’t even go out on a proper date because I’m waiting for the legality of my marriage to catch up to the actual state of it.",2.020652941176472,3.6161214300000033,3.276235294117652,92.52782352941179,77.2,6.505882352941178,22.764705882352942,7.285733465282438,0.642708823529412,746,22,168,9,17,242,117,200,0.105,0.853,0.042,-0.9118,0,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,0,0,0,1,12,3,1,0,8,0,11,1,0,1,3,30,28,9,0,2,4,2,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,12,10,0,3,4,0,3,11,6,2,0,1,8,1,21,1,33,17,2,43,0,1,0,0,16,18,0,4,17,108,33,10,0.0,0.0,0.1420129207528682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12900050637792607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3211843342712765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22380186891057147,0.0,0.17742326881512754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09611891405897506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3188344454075414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595623511402042,0.0,0.0,0.07603161620770263,0.0,0.24811827679345624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862356176243186,0.0,0.0,0.15811502283651627,0.14881075753013026,0.10278970629320064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09714010243768506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11615790414114832,0.4640150773322075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10088978655985356,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13756962848514756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12427887891531128,0.1384290746943602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13248190590758174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621769114990185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371570515350822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16971540368710422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1976059502433605,0.0,0.14215829392574578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17167065980151686,0.0,0.11673262072090305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10594506191877552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09371432719525152
divorce,psychopathicwebelos,2018/04/08,Tax question Hey just got divorces.  I'm wondering about how to do taxes. we split our investments (money made on it was reinvested).  Do I have to pay taxes on her half? ,0.5672727272727265,3.057501484848487,2.717333333333336,87.33600000000001,94.75757575757576,6.276363636363637,21.75151515151515,7.554174236665415,1.4754896969696971,131,5,25,3,5,44,28,33,0.045,0.955,0.0,-0.1027,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,2,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,2,0,6,8,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,2,0,6,0,0,0,0,1,3,0,4,0,5,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,0,17,5,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4016078238222006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4751377125364871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5625125527691629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.544550216185349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,shangrawla,2018/04/08,Can I make it as a single mom? I want to leave my husband. We’re coming up on our 10 year anniversary this June. He is very emotionally abusive and he’s an alcoholic. The only reason I haven’t left him yet is because I’m afraid I won’t survive out there alone. I keep burying the abuse deep down and I can’t take it anymore. We live in Southern California where rent is atrocious! I work part time making $27 an hour bringing home about $500 a week after takes and 401k. We have two children ages 6&3. I have no family here as we are military and I don’t have a home or family to go back east to. I wouldn’t want to leave anyway because I still want their father in their lives. I grew up without my dad around and I wouldn’t take that away from them. They adore him. How do I do this? ,1.1741071428571423,3.0458108154761945,2.9038095238095245,92.94535714285715,80.72619047619048,5.866666666666667,21.214285714285715,6.9077264865688965,0.3514928571428575,619,18,140,7,16,205,110,168,0.104,0.847,0.049,-0.8566,1,1,1,0,2,1,18.0,4,0,4,2,10,2,0,1,7,0,16,1,0,4,0,23,29,9,0,5,2,4,0,0,0,3,1,0,3,1,5,11,1,1,1,0,1,4,8,1,0,1,0,0,26,1,19,26,2,27,0,0,0,0,17,13,0,1,10,91,31,1,0.0,0.3239581871561552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610150273548586,0.0,0.14159041657761154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14812531801598758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355796674260813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12170095825699087,0.0,0.0,0.12844362337470994,0.10512161536079588,0.0,0.16667439562706826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11776363152735655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1537804429109655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577561990853097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0776954907601404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2742627201903485,0.0,0.1346318937897911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1215142033852863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28951247743414016,0.14853590539072212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2414350161974852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1825100841967149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16011319714480754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397417865581722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480436977909114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405607345481938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10917684902856208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3083669063300084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07971674889956759,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13354588652144472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11280013606722575,0.2419054472990149,0.0,0.1096605825073233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1317836416813437,0.0,0.09952656876919544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08803681135613307
divorce,jumping-for-joy,2018/04/08,"In PA. Friend is going thru a divorce. His wife left him for the 4th time. She moved out w/ their adult kids. They own two properties together, the one they lived in which they purchased while they were married and an investment prop which he owned prior to the marriage but has since refinanced and she’s now on the mortgage. What’s likely to happen with the properties? Any advice I can give him? Ofcourse he has lawyer but I want to help him as he is a senior and veteran so I’m really hoping he doesn’t lose his homes. Thanks. ",1.4484615384615367,4.055412952380955,2.3942857142857186,92.2826373626374,86.14285714285714,5.897435897435898,19.505494505494504,7.321109707123232,0.6006043956043956,420,12,85,7,13,132,77,105,0.032,0.8240000000000001,0.14400000000000002,0.9061,1,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,0,0,5,1,2,5,0,0,8,0,7,0,0,0,0,9,14,8,0,2,2,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,1,2,3,5,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,0,2,1,0,14,4,11,13,2,12,0,1,0,0,25,5,0,1,6,55,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2514292285491321,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749718812295211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19878827156046636,0.0,0.0,0.24682427664828305,0.14622873225651406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22752831535200785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17246183789819047,0.0,0.25809148952073124,0.2555555804565607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795556978578451,0.0,0.0,0.1257031065506528,0.0,0.22719939082360074,0.0,0.0,0.2878513355574372,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2734677081554943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17435220034896384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16483208116735604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21284007303748886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23688599537589225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15003289144773485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25134335973744304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1517613894036837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pabulumprocogitatio,2018/04/08,"Advice, please Discovered incriminating text messages on my wife's phone before she could delete them - looks like she's been deleting messages from this other person on a regular basis.  

What now?  Should I be here or over in /r/legaladvice?  I'm still not over the shock, and am keeping things brief.",6.340555555555554,8.249102870370368,5.626851851851857,78.76583333333336,66.5925925925926,8.362962962962964,28.314814814814817,8.841846274778883,2.2542370370370364,241,8,41,4,4,73,48,54,0.0,0.86,0.14,0.7464,0,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,0,1,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,5,0,0,0,0,6,8,2,0,2,2,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,0,1,1,5,1,6,4,0,8,0,0,1,0,8,5,0,1,3,28,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3668139789394913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3194181086344949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997079236054225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3336522514446639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18339020067386252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.315222069270368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32776464504776404,0.0,0.4120511314015773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2997764908890044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24938374402584665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Marmaluke420,2018/04/08,"Dealing So, I'm divorcing it took me a very long time to make this decision. We separated our money and accounts. I kept the house because she could not afford it. I have my son 50/50. No spousal support. How do you deal with being lonely during this period. I never cheated on her I know I'm not genuinely in love her, I don't want to just feel lonley and get depressed make a decision to go back to something I know whole heartly I was not happy with. I do have a crush on a women at work but I feel it's way too early for me to start dating.",0.042708074534161256,2.276021252173916,2.6970496894409948,90.35663043478262,88.65217391304346,5.372670807453416,20.388198757763973,6.868970318607317,0.5278198757763972,424,14,90,6,14,147,80,115,0.115,0.8490000000000001,0.035,-0.659,1,2,1,0,0,0,11.0,2,1,0,1,5,6,1,0,5,0,8,2,1,3,1,23,24,5,0,2,5,1,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,1,6,0,2,2,6,3,0,0,3,2,18,3,12,19,1,15,0,2,0,1,12,4,0,0,8,62,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15485949011503106,0.0,0.1227678619351999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16079665437007756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41525656847940856,0.17346028476284825,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036616302998942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1052200088932358,0.0,0.11445680359892595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143875685082112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23865276015789946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23238153942261405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2213616586776304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782272781809778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817658721517312,0.0,0.2688640055858126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553274035759192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550428757689054,0.0,0.0,0.14254765032793235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22853942927390294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11743441199838064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22375605094168194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16617107239384468,0.11878734960518512,0.15985711642170167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2248491150452392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14661716945270778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ImaginaryMe1998,2018/04/08,"Just found out My husband told me yesterday he wants a divorce. He says he's not happy. I actually packed up and left my home state to move 1400 miles away to support him through grad school. He has bipolar, so it required a lot of patience and hard work.

Now he's out of school, has a stable job, and is in remission from his BP. He has a new best friend who's a woman. He told me now that he is well, he wants something different. He says he's changed and our relationship is now untenable. 

We live in a tiny apartment, and he has told me I can take as much time as I need to get sorted. Any ideas about how I can pack up and move back home? I don't know what to do. Where do I start?",1.6125510204081657,2.9033726530612256,3.074574829931976,94.83798469387756,77.57142857142857,6.53265306122449,23.1343537414966,7.1686216300943375,0.5051047619047617,528,16,129,6,12,173,90,147,0.031,0.865,0.104,0.885,2,0,1,0,1,0,17.0,2,0,0,3,10,5,0,0,6,0,12,1,0,1,0,21,24,10,0,3,2,1,1,0,1,0,1,2,2,1,4,9,0,1,3,0,0,2,2,0,1,0,4,3,15,5,18,20,3,22,0,0,0,0,27,11,0,2,8,74,19,6,0.0,0.0,0.14080516232045745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09812140673745062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1355641807282239,0.11094926543484357,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142230921910774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15263853484646964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15075120071300005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1582053423971742,0.11147725400993387,0.0,0.07538500021587699,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15359822783014246,0.1292545222086792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2894670828339412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1628846165829442,0.0,0.0,0.1431844791183535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07929741150341615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15677032299435234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274097511031519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12266927153663255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30671255327346225,0.10606895100951708,0.10698839855217043,0.0,0.13935512848417672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15491229081741792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.229488665269666,0.0,0.2920561604528033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11108065230415028,0.0,0.0,0.1021284332112878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1637373452670097,0.0,0.0,0.10848730340981516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413602381303757,0.0,0.0,0.4136227108636795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17021067513340624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12973305857066492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504404501674766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,happyrotter88,2018/04/08,"How do you know when to leave? I am 30, F. We have been married for nearly 4 years, and dated for 4 years before that. It has been 8 years together, and now I am contemplating divorce. For most of our time together, he has been dominating, condescending and dismissive, not just towards me but with everyone around. I have however had to bear the brunt of this behavior. I think, suffering from low self-confidence, even while I would fight back on the substance of our arguments, I wasn't able to call him out for the manner in which he would argue with me. Now, looking back, I feel like he manipulated me - using my feelings, low self-esteem, proclivity to guilt  - to have his way each time. I don't think he did it intentionally, but to win an argument to get what he wants he would take his arguments to every extreme, even if it meant disparaging me, all the time, and endlessly. To win an argument, he has at different times called me selfish, arrogant, self-obsessed, unfaithful, unloving... 

A few months back, I told him that I want to leave, and took a ""break"" for a couple of months. He begged for a second chance, and I said we'd have to start all over. He is trying, I think - or at least it is better than what it used to be - but it still does not feel nurturing as it ought to, I suppose. I am still deeply suspicious. Each time he apologizes or explains his earlier behavior or shows some signs of introspection, I feel convinced that there is a catch somewhere, that he will simply disown his apology/ explanation, or limit it to his earlier behavior, and differentiate future behavior from earlier behavior (a very lawyer-like thing to do). I am also afraid that he is 'trying' only to keep me in the marriage, and not because he realizes that I really suffered, or that he was quite awful to me and wants to make it up. He is uncomfortable with this period of uncertainty, and repeatedly asks me to commit once again to the relationship (instead of simply testing waters), which to my mind reveals how little he has understood of our problems. He was in fact completely stunned when I decided to leave, even though I had been visibly struggling for years. 

Since we've been married, we have also barely had sex (we used to have a lot of sex before). We probably have sex once in every two months. I have tried to talk him about this too, over the years, the response to which was always just denial.

On the good days, it is happy and cheerful, I see why I fell in love with him. On the bad days though, it is always very bad. I feel so confused about what to do. A part of me still loves him, I think, and I'm just so used to having him around. We've grown up together. Yet, I feel untrusting, scared and unhappy. 

Will the answer become clearer to me? How do I know? Do I sound like I already know? ",7.000209199667327,6.497605220779223,7.464928667391722,74.64680890538034,64.51020408163265,11.293480903333116,33.242978696180664,10.778856453188784,3.428068338557992,2190,79,424,52,29,722,244,539,0.175,0.728,0.096,-0.9923,3,0,0,0,2,0,95.0,8,1,0,5,34,28,2,5,21,1,51,6,0,10,4,91,88,35,0,9,15,0,6,2,0,6,0,2,0,0,28,26,1,2,20,1,0,4,5,16,0,2,18,10,60,12,74,62,10,61,0,4,2,5,53,22,0,10,35,301,88,1,0.07552346399795314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08334202053164247,0.12079217374657425,0.12568314420971233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344637897247398,0.07060424391984778,0.0,0.0,0.17421864608761706,0.1261178756421844,0.04603840266970288,0.08340973240852267,0.1285298105925921,0.0,0.0,0.06679436655698677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1542358015427904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07918491510782126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08356527643449199,0.0,0.09741277275678058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07890594552794393,0.0,0.0,0.06609109228825151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14964760707568564,0.0,0.12726355143713686,0.07216590633699127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22912159574132826,0.05395397777043937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03945789282290657,0.0,0.0,0.06334549841500346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08039613177892775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06712872489494068,0.0,0.0,0.12451716211218078,0.0,0.0,0.2399053309394741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737938993437628,0.07569435165183998,0.0,0.0,0.06342068868782658,0.0,0.0,0.0642073483464294,0.13632574978210654,0.0,0.05041249866794273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07625716931844112,0.0,0.18084632528187225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1608600486771965,0.0,0.05743899758807049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08178455180194336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08142706780377623,0.07226575537943775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08032850032875967,0.0,0.0,0.04838226492590865,0.0,0.0,0.08108393646641178,0.0,0.0,0.07184010896128805,0.0,0.07561216263676998,0.0,0.060182422750522324,0.0,0.2363623320160149,0.0,0.0,0.06247378985704952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05345589653488714,0.0,0.18093940771920275,0.0,0.0,0.07895352247272053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05678424591539723,0.06070289958358387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050174433631111945,0.19356954490427672,0.14840283984883598,0.0,0.22019169600407812,0.0,0.0,0.07216590633699127,0.08390934737034875,0.15382642369269828,0.0,0.07377545033747503,0.0,0.0,0.26091209740239285,0.0,0.12462953451062254,0.1336370874344179,0.059947010393684684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06814817933477976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16094910585031774,0.0,0.0,0.24317317340325176
divorce,IvyBellum,2018/04/08,All he had to say was... My husband asked me for a divorce via text. Not even a few days later he made dating profiles and contacted all his exes intermediately. I feel like he could of been man enough after all these years to not only tell me to my face but just be real and say you wanted to be free.  ,3.9392857142857167,4.160085111111116,5.536626984126986,83.42017857142856,70.90476190476191,7.56984126984127,23.686507936507937,7.1686216300943375,0.7549079365079367,234,5,51,2,4,80,49,63,0.0,0.903,0.097,0.7351,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,0,1,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,0,6,1,1,1,3,14,10,3,0,2,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,4,3,7,3,7,3,5,5,0,0,0,0,13,0,0,0,6,35,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27858125621048874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379214778177681,0.0,0.0,0.19217947179165346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3079042472164413,0.0,0.19682017233678312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15067314754013872,0.21288475126091524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1455832966867647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28196618510850424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22663549972606814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33917887117456397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4739486321982875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2604571722221065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17576274752008006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1918963630579303
divorce,SilverfishstickS,2018/04/08,"Starting over at 24 No kids. Two dogs. We own a house and one car together. He has a separate car he owns himself. No joint bank accounts, we don’t have access to each other’s money. 

We’ve been married four years and together for 9. I (24/f) am so shocked and hurt. Basically, he (26/m) has been in a relationship with a 20 year old girl for months now. I found out two months ago. He hasn’t been home since, he refuses to come home and barely talks to me. 

He said he hasn’t been happy in a year. He never told me he was ever unhappy. He said he thought buying a house and going on a cruise would help. While on our cruise he was carrying on his relationship with her and I started to feel like something wasn’t right. I asked him if something was going on to just tell me. I saw a message on his phone. He told me I just didn’t trust him. It was suppose to be our honeymoon. 

I’ve been struggling with depression the last year. I gave up school, friends, and work for him. To join him while he was in the military. He still is. 

We were planning on starting a family. He said he didn’t want kids that he has changed his mind. He didn’t tell me he changed his mind. That why he wants a divorce. He’s still with her. He tells me he’s not leaving me for her. He says this would be happening whether she’s in the picture or not. He’s seeking a no fault divorce. I’m going to a lawyer next week for advice. 

After I found out, he wanted me to quit my job and go home to my parents. He convinced me it would be best for us. Now I’m unemployed but I haven’t moved out yet. We own our house together. I don’t want to leave until it’s all over. He travels a lot for work and I don’t want her in my home. 

When does this get better? Am I doing the right thing by not leaving the house? Any advice or support is greatly appreciated. I feel lost. What now?

I’m sorry if I forgot anything. My mind is a mess. ",-0.15747419422793385,1.9478615841584208,1.9865978512744888,96.12962607962929,87.86138613861387,5.121466189172111,19.98188329471245,6.56484139541529,0.0769609858858229,1456,46,343,17,47,487,182,404,0.065,0.846,0.09,0.8641,4,0,2,0,2,0,56.0,8,0,0,7,11,16,0,1,19,0,37,0,0,0,3,55,71,20,0,10,11,1,2,1,1,3,0,4,4,3,10,22,0,2,5,3,4,11,17,7,0,4,27,7,49,9,43,38,7,58,0,3,1,0,76,20,0,5,28,204,59,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14736813747311206,0.06684123483834735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05127741192970008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062051195696066125,0.0,0.07049270722726572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07913200985744802,0.06668884849864827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1595351980350473,0.06495400381969145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06494548923794304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06598668522383573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06820737624567075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07108432766039109,0.0,0.07625321402479705,0.05386874425049696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16535353051522955,0.058257064026349975,0.0,0.039395559418887394,0.0,0.17141567861499332,0.0,0.0,0.08313334840246035,0.0,0.0,0.06667964629511654,0.08026912640167036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050541816444542066,0.0,0.3025460669613361,0.0,0.0,0.3480250891620916,0.08072170875009209,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0748269899690404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06146445135567832,0.0,0.23952634172210965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036838661904683725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08231254386404595,0.0641059171168541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2284101073377725,0.0,0.1203737561507324,0.08014268476753614,0.0,0.0,0.05815633377455464,0.0,0.08019317555239172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07912397757983741,0.0,0.05109580771104502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372739197168705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08020160179193916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619116890664468,0.0,0.12878947477443858,0.2151798597517167,0.059964411505620575,0.0,0.07631303170273973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0623750972076157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11609960670173923,0.0,0.08440877942848568,0.16011434956867387,0.0,0.12043571307795045,0.0,0.0,0.07882879605012323,0.0,0.0,0.08556774286774893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06060700448898616,0.19771966825530315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05009517082665865,0.0,0.0,0.059862477290989424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14410380523241426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14731780789560564,0.0,0.0907019156308921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2223766248837515,0.0,0.06048466578916273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06804052259764197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10979024753484036,0.0,0.0,0.16069484732499506,0.0,0.0,0.1942312174627987
divorce,what-aver,2018/04/09,"First post-divorce relationship ending Maybe a weird post, but it seemed here was a good place to talk about this and hear from other people.

After a 10 year marriage, I started dating after 6 months. Maybe too soon, but it felt right to be testing the waters. Been exclusive with a lovely woman over a year, very enjoyable for the most part.

She has applied low level pressure and complaints about the speed of relationship that I'm comfortable with. That I want more time on my own, that I wanted holidays alone with family, that I don't want to move in with her. I could see myself with her down the road but I need a lot more time to live alone, detox from the marriage, etc.

I think it's just not fast enough for her and she's going to finally move on. She doesn't like the uncertainty and doesn't want to wait around as she gets older when she could lock down a sure thing with someone else. I think her complaints and unhappiness about it have become frequent enough that I don't enjoy my time with her anymore.

I claim bad timing, she claims I don't love her enough - that I would do it all for the 'one'.  I don't believe in the 'one' and I don't think I ever will marry again.

Just venting because it was a very loving relationship with great sex, great communication. I learned a lot and I'm really going to miss it. Going to feel lonely leaving this one as opposed to glad as hell to get out of toxic marriage.",4.697435610302353,5.558326496453905,5.136718924972005,84.67026315789477,69.49645390070923,7.780813736468833,25.480403135498317,7.85451343220497,1.246174468085107,1120,30,227,13,19,357,148,282,0.16,0.6709999999999999,0.16899999999999998,0.616,0,4,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,0,1,12,19,1,1,17,0,18,6,0,0,3,46,44,14,0,8,6,0,2,1,0,2,1,1,0,1,17,17,1,2,7,1,0,5,8,7,0,4,4,4,31,12,42,35,12,42,1,3,1,4,24,14,1,4,23,160,48,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1988024678383024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09518148588194493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08543816532425426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08013517937817102,0.05850551537496875,0.10599693079838872,0.0,0.10813104457841584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15325657686304953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08017486054490779,0.0,0.08500543021182183,0.2975037270455826,0.10703757933814394,0.0,0.08681495070188094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09047675986370904,0.0,0.048527882032721584,0.0,0.09215112363151136,0.10513600427065346,0.0,0.08163635041273258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028603171906388,0.0,0.16363454190302473,0.08049934004102495,0.0,0.21162571969479554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10817088563778282,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10162374752308748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04688857412810053,0.0,0.08474775024115236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16318915462026135,0.259863758972135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19283972705615385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660638981615545,0.2040126335354131,0.0,0.07116430258041613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.195105585568777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10393165434543528,0.0,0.0665370331431021,0.0,0.10027352691581476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1838351852338688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06148409111425038,0.0,0.0,0.3091239410910642,0.0,0.0819621903003027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07647970944592887,0.0873721044003257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08131937024072132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06793165260407072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09045537308561803,0.0,0.0,0.07714113042478997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06376157572832475,0.18449085973027665,0.0,0.0,0.2238553539475383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583789776504312,0.2264343452473315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0681779401605957,0.0,0.0,0.12360960424620834
divorce,tannep,2018/04/09,"I filed on Friday I think it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Then over the weekend he attacked me. So I had to file for a restraining order. I just want him out. 7years of marriage. And he had a relationship with 1 girl at his job for over 2years. And I found out about another last week too from a few years ago. He has never been a man. Not a husband for that matter. I may look like a fool because I was oblivious to everything. But I worked hard to take care of us while he was just cheating and lying the whole time. I don’t understand if he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he leave me? I’m not perfect. I know I’m far from, but I was a good wife. And I’m still trying to figure out what I did wrong. ",-0.21411764705882064,1.7794269346405225,2.03372549019608,96.51176470588236,86.84313725490196,5.168627450980392,18.15032679738562,6.522977012572876,-0.20301045751633984,543,14,130,6,17,183,98,153,0.12,0.7929999999999999,0.087,-0.5645,1,0,0,0,0,0,17.0,1,0,0,2,7,9,2,0,10,0,15,0,0,0,3,27,26,10,0,2,7,2,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,4,8,0,1,5,1,0,0,6,4,0,0,12,2,18,5,20,13,2,20,0,0,1,0,15,8,0,2,12,87,22,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1691981209287014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20014783832961894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217146520768816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.116354906408663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1946085761534417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1953301834086703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17265629401004906,0.0,0.0,0.17154507791384194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20928328687946834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009590064118978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20318872607002306,0.1709854474064258,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1894128097443368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489925731335556,0.15558763536379147,0.0,0.20210781079633827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09325130492987664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16028593236796235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14721365364590422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2049270455033406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.152432075759668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14351335484800798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268080817473197,0.12230423393754315,0.0,0.0,0.11130005688655067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12959079155687805,0.0,0.0,0.1987063736441389,0.22959769858375045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11258232185504537,0.0,0.15310746160326133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.172233930123672,0.2131037987040016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13895841110743964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20869055356684046,0.0,0.12291647925071482
divorce,ANCHORSStudy,2018/04/09,"Learn more about the ANCHORS Study! Learn more about the ANCHORS Study! The goal of ANCHORS is to learn more about the alcohol/other substance use and sexual activity of men who have sex with men to inform a new computer-and phonebased intervention that will help to reduce heavy drinking and risky sex. Possible compensation if you are selected to complete a web survey. Visit us on the web at www.anchorsresearch .org, call or text us at 352-214-4047 to learn more!",5.7650000000000015,8.192918833333334,5.385238095238098,77.8264285714286,69.0,9.085714285714287,29.857142857142854,9.606745405546679,3.0292571428571438,378,15,64,9,7,116,56,84,0.022,0.934,0.044,0.4168,0,0,2,0,0,0,12.0,2,1,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,0,4,3,0,1,0,11,5,4,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,3,1,0,5,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,14,4,4,5,0,0,0,2,10,3,0,2,1,38,5,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29161582408029235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786315231495273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2860997678394026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2673094315099638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18289949782264256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26354025049392593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30762074743779844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6564597787515141,0.23567269849211206,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bradswint,2018/04/09,"Stepson relationship advice I (41m) am divorcing my STBX (42F). Married 12 and together for 18. 2 stepsons, one 22 and a junior at out of state college and the other 18 and a highschool senior.  No drama in the divorce. No assets to split. She suddenly moved out in early November and I found out about a multiyear affair on her part about a week later.. She had regrets  in late November and begged me to move in with her. I did like an idiot and it lasted until late February when she put me out. I got a lawyer, signed the papers, mailed to her, she signed them and sent them back.Just waiting on lawyer to give me a court date.

All that aside. I've raised the 18 yo since he was 6 months old. Im the only dad he knows since his bio dad doesnt claim him. Him and I have always been close. Super close. He's a mini-me. 

I have kept in contact with him since his mom put me out until 2 weeks ago. He's also been in contact with me too.  Just thru text and instagram. About 2 weeks ago he stopped contact with me.  My STBX told me before we split up that if we got a divorce that my relationship with my son would be finished.  She's spiteful and doesnt want him to have a relationship with anyone but her as she has no family or friends. She also said b4 breakup that she wouldnt give me an attendance pass to his upcoming hs graduation. Just a bad situation all the way around.

Its killing me that I havent heard from him. I know she's filling his head full of crap trying to isolate him from me. What should I do?  My friends and family tell me to let him be.  That he knows how to contact me and will when he needs/wants to.  I can deal without seeing his mom ever again but how do you let go of a child you have raised as your own basically his whole life.  I am so worried she will poison his head and i will lose touch with him forever. 

Thanks for any advice. ",1.723324675324676,3.5474302675324734,3.2584415584415574,91.29337662337663,78.79220779220779,6.374025974025973,21.649350649350648,7.33818517376401,0.5824337662337666,1443,41,320,19,35,475,194,385,0.112,0.8420000000000001,0.046,-0.9728,0,0,0,0,2,0,43.0,2,3,2,2,16,13,5,0,19,0,28,5,3,2,3,57,46,29,1,6,7,5,1,1,2,6,2,2,0,1,10,31,0,3,4,1,0,9,8,8,0,1,13,4,65,5,49,23,6,53,0,2,1,0,71,19,1,2,24,211,75,8,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922471786092841,0.17439371946703755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1573289194978913,0.08184964581851682,0.0,0.0,0.066893277874734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0687808480006133,0.0,0.0,0.08756793628604165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756385409617033,0.08213275946910026,0.0,0.0,0.08370350328418788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10141258033722993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0889790416599692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18546426209045974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10785489407585487,0.15199698367864148,0.0,0.0,0.18872615197416204,0.05590452106572374,0.0,0.15734696266183731,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20190688226354614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10625378742824064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10882907205416864,0.0,0.16218062782075535,0.0801826470803615,0.22192566479746886,0.0,0.0,0.20117488086719326,0.06947987921411372,0.04805739514899498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004807881558172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2304136704745385,0.07851600554700139,0.2090981849525401,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1032201513223533,0.0,0.06665636846365898,0.07481292162630201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10652242415650696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19777302749525447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3168296682778596,0.0,0.0,0.09357002501836983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07838616733539429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2441118546910829,0.11056919922099297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08223964039492472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08597753677606855,0.09056358428544443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09399436831400564,0.0,0.0667850801895279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11603940839750793,0.07807954836672316,0.2367134418567297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10982380857588328,0.0,0.09482276642330016,0.0,0.0,0.09989697815503698,0.0,0.06987745461806841,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,RedMarlin,2018/04/09,"11 Days In... It's been 11 days since I (M26) received a message from a friend saying she saw my STBXW (25) leaving a lawyer's office with her mother and our daughter... Emotions are the worst imaginable roller coaster ever. For every second I feel at ease like things will be okay, I suffer through 30 seconds worrying about the what-if's and unknowns... I can't eat, I've lost over 10 pounds already, and I honestly don't know how I'm still physically functioning..

She went from being civil and wanting nothing from me but the best for our little daughter, to wanting the house, every cent of support she can take from me, and full custody 3 days later... Idk what to do, I can't afford the house plus all the support, and I can't lose my daughter... She's the most important thing of all. ",4.364293255131969,5.505053980645162,4.979002932551321,84.46304985337244,70.48387096774194,7.184750733137831,29.574780058651037,7.348242739294969,1.7277741935483877,617,24,119,6,11,198,102,155,0.052000000000000005,0.7609999999999999,0.187,0.9631,1,0,0,0,0,0,32.0,2,0,0,3,4,11,0,0,10,1,11,1,0,1,3,19,22,9,0,2,1,4,1,1,1,1,0,1,0,0,4,8,1,0,3,1,1,2,4,4,0,2,4,3,18,7,17,15,6,13,0,3,1,0,15,5,0,1,7,78,22,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18151785212474986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17262120031293735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3182456550884876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1683134511336486,0.0,0.18502813864000747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1487898409118396,0.2771783832846493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08317064962960033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.127083898627777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3795967569786349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09039892751616617,0.0,0.0,0.1741702449241561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08036108330073524,0.16486132736127854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18402126876345656,0.179559323063062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15783176252092507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13080836325029685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13606711328337806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13136123668229796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3733206450463826,0.0,0.0,0.12367535952854795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185585462458854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19403990864442813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15248307724265436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1670467023466323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ladycarp,2018/04/09,"I am absolutely crazy about my boyfriend, but I still love my ex. Do these feelings go away? **TL;DR: I really miss my ex husband that I left, but I have an amazing boyfriend now. When will my feelings for my ex go away? Will they always linger?**


I (30) left my husband (39) in December after being with him for six years. He was controlling, emotionally abusive, and withheld affection on a consistent basis. I tried therapy and marriage counseling, but nothing worked, and I felt it best to leave. 

We'd gone so long without sex or companionship that towards the end of our relationship I began to develop feelings for another man when I was on tour,  and then continued to work with him about once a month or so as performing musicians. I was never inappropriate, but we would message eachother on Facebook for days after every gig until I forced myself to quit responding. The crush dissipated after a couple of weeks,  I'd work with him again and my feelings would flood back, and the process would repeat. This cycle began in in June. 
 
When I left my ex, a friend let me stay at her place for free while I get on my feet. It's  3.5 hours from my home, and I'm devastated that I don't get to see my daughter regularly. She's far more stable with her father in our home, but I miss her terribly. 

My crush and I began cautiously seeing pretty much immediately after I left. He lives 15 minutes from me.  I saw it as clearing out some old cobwebs,  but it quickly evolved into a serious relationship. He's an absolutey incredible man with a wonderful sense of humor and is fantastic and adventurous in bed. With more ambition for career advancement, he could be someone worth moving in with down the road. Right now with his lack of motivation, though, I'm unsure about us;  I can't build a future with someone who still struggles and lives paycheck to paycheck at 30.

That being said, I still very, very much love my husband, and there's not a day that goes by where I don't wish we could have made it work. I really want the man that I married back, though I know the man he is now is abusive and terrible for my mental health. 

Does this feeling go away? Will I ever stop missing him? 
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divorce,eternityleasing,2018/04/09,"Cheating / HIV Backstory is I discovered a few years ago that my husband likes to ‘party and play’ with men.  I had never heard of this lifestyle until catching him in it.  For those that don’t know, it’s basically people finding each other on Craigslist type sites to have recreational sex fueled by meth. Is he is totally gay?  No.  I can tell because he is attracted to woman, is always wanting sex from me and I’ve seen his porn (nothing gay).  My personal opinion is he his either bisexual or just likes that men can give easy, free, uninhibited, no strings attached sex. He said he cannot be with men without smoking meth, and still doesn’t want to kiss them and wants straight porn on the TV while they are doing their orgies or whatever they do. 

I had him get tested and he turned up HIV positive.  It is a absolutely miracle I’m negative because he was doing this on the side during our entire courtship and marriage.  I thank the powers that be, because during this time I went through  pregnancies and today have beautiful healthy children. We are all unbelievably and thank god negative.

He sobered up and we did therapy.  He’s on meds and his viral load is undetectable but we also use condoms. He must sound like a monster but I don’t think he is.  I think he has a lot of problems, but not truly a monster. I can feel his shame and remorse. In his defense, he
truly is trying to grow and change.  And, the therapists we saw didn’t even seem surprised, they see people getting addicted to porn and sex all the time and ruining their marriages.  So sad. They talked about recovery and forgiveness and healing being possible.  I guess it’s nice to know that families can move forward together after something this ugly. 

But I can’t.  It haunts me and I cry about it all the time.  I feel disrespected and used.  I also know that the odds of staying in recovery for this kind of behavior is not good.  I’ve been trying to make it work for our children.  But the real kicker is that I’m not really wanting to leave because of the past.  It’s because he is a difficult man in the present.  

The only way I can describe it is like stagnant energy.  I used to love to cook, until it became clear, I would never be able to make something that would please him.  He’s not a rice guy when I make curry.  Doesn’t like carbs when I make pasta.  Not a potato person.  Yes, likes seafood, but not cooked at home. Not into red meat but nice try with the streak. On and on.  But he will order and demolish any of these things in a restaurant.  So now we just eat mostly take out.
Apply this kind of attitude to anything and you will get the picture of what I’m living with. He loves to fish so I surprised him with a lake cabin vacation so he could sit on a dock and fish with his kids. The vacation was ‘ok’ and ‘fishing is better on the otherside of the lake.’  When I asked if it would make would a fun tradition he said, ‘Ugh I don’t know’ (he didn’t have to pay for anything so it wasn’t money thing) He just can’t give me approbation for anything.  For Christmas I gave him front row seats (he LOVES live music) to one of his favorite bands that rarely tours in the US.  His reaction was that it was ‘ok, kinda too loud’.  It’s just feels like I’m living living in mud. 

Im not perfect but I’m a loving mother, try to be a kind person, people say I’m attractive, I keep a nice home, I contribute a lot financially and I’m responsible.  He systematically is snuffing out all my joy. He broke my heart, he took away cooking, then my joy in gift giving and now is going after my love for planning adventures and traveling.  I’m becoming a wreck and shell of my former self. 

I asked for a separation yesterday. But I’m so scared of not having my eyes on my children 24/7 - that fear is what has kept me trying for these past years.  He knows I think the children shouldn’t be alone with his stepfather.  So the first thing he says is he wants the kids at Christmas and to take them to his mom’s house.  He’s hitting where he knows I worry the most.  I’ve always watched the kids like a hawk around strange men, but if we separate I won’t be able to.  I worry about him getting a roommate and the kids being around that man . Or he gets a girlfriend that she has older male children or a brother or father hanging around. 

He says we can go back to counseling and that he’ll try harder to change and we can learn to communicate better. Should I just stay and try more.  I’m losing my mind. I feel like I either sacrifice my sanity or my childrens’ safety.

I hope you get the picture.  It’s making me crazy staying in this mess but I’m scared to lose control over my childrens’ environment.  One bad situation can change their little innocent lives forever.  I’m living in anxiety and fear right now.  Please send me some insight or helpful words.  I know this was a long post and I’m writing while distraught, hope it is clear enough. Sending out love to everyone else is a bad place too.
Xoxo",2.7567932372505517,4.767834714430894,4.036559497413158,86.03850332594239,76.34756097560975,7.074353288987436,25.51108647450111,8.00094639256281,1.5328621951219517,3885,141,776,64,88,1273,410,984,0.123,0.708,0.16899999999999998,0.9938,1,1,4,0,0,0,103.0,11,2,9,10,32,62,2,6,48,3,80,28,2,10,11,166,162,73,0,18,38,5,4,9,1,11,4,8,2,24,47,58,5,4,19,7,3,13,29,19,0,3,21,18,93,44,96,120,16,91,1,5,6,19,130,40,0,20,42,483,140,5,0.1013122647024072,0.0,0.0,0.05522266138877616,0.0,0.0,0.0449036049132121,0.0,0.0,0.05246447602565756,0.0,0.08101938147940198,0.0842999201887131,0.0,0.0,0.03444790707161345,0.0,0.038751802596739306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12505704222852082,0.13528409254888193,0.09471329134631336,0.0,0.04759310384186408,0.038951438961631904,0.0845915092103863,0.1543975405403598,0.05594571833171098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08960246507541635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16076241379236772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05681515981023697,0.040444799755431776,0.0,0.055643382759070936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05183386971258655,0.04231669852649925,0.0,0.0,0.05234132595651658,0.0,0.03345789766860754,0.0,0.0,0.048404105282436063,0.0,0.0,0.04775409330038699,0.11400446427640773,0.10245305025297616,0.07237750214654738,0.0,0.0,0.0462987872557854,0.04308808030023658,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15879443039246188,0.14578193396420516,0.057578094772434286,0.04248796045226872,0.0,0.0,0.055803440807709735,0.05015753517347469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06002776073594419,0.03395373772956941,0.0,0.10162446199366136,0.1006259385832624,0.0,0.05845037551077044,0.0,0.0,0.0547173155752544,0.0,0.0,0.045025497942438285,0.0,0.15825170000433852,0.1948749989753868,0.0,0.0,0.05363752999182112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22273224774047184,0.050770752459369115,0.2683817575768773,0.044829083075292375,0.0,0.11334250952831865,0.0,0.08613206448911591,0.2743148231664778,0.0,0.20288017017445548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05626754343459789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05114825323462111,0.05932784997768978,0.0,0.053839451981831786,0.0,0.0,0.07813826424150071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486059251944244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865181254437011,0.0385262713058371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967140203801488,0.10535575191130797,0.13269294261288406,0.052924876698832564,0.1112104431411461,0.0,0.05710717800223542,0.04851457214414116,0.0,0.0,0.04847107739999473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.057657768654394925,0.032451615508582186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04326006024752306,0.09637116400716274,0.12085136890185995,0.101431251034586,0.0,0.0403663790123447,0.04611544038125839,0.052845393734265514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056939615171498675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07799513103733541,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16197809122052376,0.04045405273086493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07617421458929939,0.0407154803637077,0.04427569243436503,0.09327472160593772,0.0579297020693112,0.05881567398080726,0.10096105035912438,0.09737521261702564,0.0,0.0,0.08861399441943665,0.0,0.04801609040285276,0.0,0.05628082692301698,0.2407453209742685,0.05509932572352535,0.0,0.0,0.060933090093429176,0.13125190210823695,0.0,0.0,0.14939149657936573,0.04020848001150703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469587421916389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04883070391826185,0.0,0.036878267663300726,0.102887522619653,0.0,0.1439386521074217,0.0,0.0,0.0652417768152751
divorce,eboyd16,2018/04/09,"Weird Post-Divorce Stuff (short list) I have been divorced only 6 months after 13 years of marriage. This is a short list of things that are normal now.

1. Ex occanally asking to get back together. (not happening)
2. People asking my opinion about their divorce. (wanting advice or approval)
3. Giving emotional support for faithful spouses after an affair. (My ex had an affair)
4. Raising kids with a stranger. - (I know nothing about my ex-wife's life and thats OK with me)
5. Most people are now very honest with their own struggles, not just divorce stuff.
6. The lengths I go to respect others relationships. (Set clear boundaries with women in my private life that are in relationships, The significant other has always appreciated that)
7. Respect my friends opinions of someone I am interested in or being setup with. (I realize my closest friends are looking out for me. I am not ready to date yet but I am keeping an eye out) 

Add your own new normals if you want. ",2.629059599413776,5.580200904494383,3.802418172936009,81.58540058622378,84.89887640449439,5.342843185149,29.08744504152418,6.8959733430537185,1.9785893502686864,763,38,125,10,23,247,119,178,0.026,0.82,0.155,0.9456,0,0,0,0,4,0,37.0,0,2,2,1,7,11,0,1,7,1,13,3,1,0,1,28,25,5,0,5,8,3,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,2,10,9,0,1,2,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,2,2,19,9,22,22,3,20,1,0,2,0,22,8,0,6,10,87,29,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15241303234190334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12978034638068275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2916236155446523,0.0,0.0,0.11993205282164528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17544635457544672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2410055778906061,0.0,0.08148839735365165,0.14962157214832503,0.08864189985919814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792461873488124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.138634169661165,0.0,0.0,0.08571756926712147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2203338255339338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13097633731813565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1244945447767864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063774027549975,0.0,0.0,0.305636880880849,0.14965835777221873,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11862295536306193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162612719859968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14937708038827455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3349089148489654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13215370159002782,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16305472876119964,0.3570989029608405,0.0,0.1769940149173072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362018577821497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869238957821955,0.1839914451069152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004401946600094
divorce,M4th1u5,2018/04/09,"Someone advise me on what to do!? I told my husband of two years that I feel done and wanted a divorce about a month ago.

Been in counseling about a year with no real results, in my opinion, but he thinks otherwise. We had a session to talk about what it would take to make things better. I'm just not interested in trying. He would try endlessly.

I agreed to try again last week, but since, I feel like I'm forcing myself. I'm bored and miserable. I day dream about the life I want.

There is drug use which I've gotten sucked into. We have enabled each other with it and I'm as much to blame as he is now, but I want away from it.

I live in a socially and economically depressed area with near no housing options and no friends to run to. I've no support structure for going through with this. Finances aren't too much of an issue, I think.

I feel stuck and unempowered.",2.1961652542372896,4.113897694915259,3.5243750000000027,89.49808792372883,77.70056497175142,6.232909604519775,24.621822033898304,7.1686216300943375,0.9475313559322034,680,24,144,8,16,222,113,177,0.177,0.705,0.118,-0.9068,1,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,2,0,0,2,9,9,1,1,7,0,10,2,0,3,0,35,31,11,0,5,5,1,3,1,1,2,2,0,0,0,10,14,0,0,5,1,1,2,6,4,0,1,6,3,16,5,30,23,3,20,0,2,0,0,12,9,1,2,10,96,26,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996303033448218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1483461082825227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13964393907386374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182822298537914,0.0,0.13599341038928592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16157983454903796,0.0,0.0,0.18310629201154988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395070408288925,0.11279912323354058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12198809969979747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08973449504568337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1821878598942677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16479975587207113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1287042480647237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11152482407967933,0.07713877168961147,0.0,0.13942282269450826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10539511422031833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1260290576942989,0.0,0.2321397290544828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797173309089754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13061110620860644,0.0,0.0,0.16095250398686728,0.13378262085352313,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17917563341874412,0.0,0.0,0.11871623589992085,0.12690878659392227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10489740249382934,0.2023435143449301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1508739725697547,0.0,0.3215978958310306,0.0,0.154238972882296,0.0,0.0,0.13636925878400524,0.0,0.0,0.2793889703225043,0.0,0.12665261396042918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22432597527696385,0.0,0.0,0.2033564299597046
divorce,WittyCantaloupe,2018/04/09,"Can I deduct legit debts from support payments? I am writing a separation agreement, so this is to address a hypothetical situation.

Sep. Agmt defines amount of support I will pay to my ex on a monthly basis.  It also defines parameters for shared responsibility items (i.e. school tuition, medical expenses such as deductibles/copays/etc).

If I take my kid to the doctor and pay a copay, and the sep agmt says that my ex needs to reimburse me for half of any expenses I incur, am I legally allowed to simply deduct it from a support payment (either the next one I pay, or a subsequent one after she's had and missed an opportunity to reimburse me)?  Should I draft and send an invoice for this so there is no ambiguity?

I pay support direct to my ex - we don't go through the state.

We are located in FL.",5.737254901960782,6.630259620915034,7.421444444444441,69.1055,67.16993464052288,9.780130718954249,36.21503267973856,9.888512548439397,3.7940750326797374,634,32,111,14,10,221,99,153,0.068,0.7929999999999999,0.14,0.9166,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,2,0,0,1,5,8,0,0,12,0,10,2,0,1,0,14,18,10,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,2,2,1,1,1,5,6,0,0,0,0,10,2,2,1,0,3,1,1,18,7,19,15,3,8,0,1,0,0,11,2,0,3,3,81,23,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13926200303292968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842313410661505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17824262290586912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1942153505036639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989694152487159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17543063690287716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1389991901999503,0.0,0.0,0.12912474342624622,0.0,0.0,0.18520293488867887,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2360074528389441,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1384854125455838,0.0,0.17624189769572818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1957439001857368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7904611334690702,0.0,0.0,0.1309337779363698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,mw3daymaker,2018/04/09,How to prepare for moving into my own place Wife and I are finishing our remodel and splitting once it sells 12 months from now.  What can I do in preparation to stock up on to make the blow of refurnishing general household items in the mean time?,3.998750000000001,5.987974708333336,4.823333333333334,81.855,72.75,8.966666666666667,28.66666666666667,9.516144504307137,2.7199416666666663,198,8,38,5,4,64,42,48,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2.0,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,0,2,0,7,5,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,3,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,11,5,2,11,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,28,6,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2733159798391373,0.0,0.0,0.4460191220594262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268249733086767,0.4351883940090263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4360587451811527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42779581228766894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387578903485921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Peace_Keeping,2018/04/09,"I don't know what to do Basically, I have been married for a little over two years, I got married extremely young (coming from a very religious family it was not that odd).  I really did love my husband, but I just have felt over time myself drifting away from him. I know that he has strongly loved me throughout our entire relationship, but for some reason I drifted away. He is an amazing person, my family loves him, he's always been amazing to me and really never done anything wrong. 
I'm really not attracted to him sexually, we have sex probably once every 3 weeks (and this has gone on for about year). I rarely find myself being in the 'mood' although he always is. 
Part of me also feels that I haven't had my own life experiences, I got married young and still am young and have so much life to experience, but feel a little tied down. 
I really don't know what to do. I know it would completely crush my family because they all do love him. I could not help but feeling like a failure. 
I also dont know if I'm being selfish/making a mistake for letting a good guy go. 
I just really don't feel into this relationship and have had a hard time even saying ""I love you"" 
Please help me and give me advice. I really cant talk to anyone about this. 
",5.3665333333333365,5.4729751200000045,6.722000000000001,76.55433333333336,67.8,9.866666666666667,28.266666666666666,9.725611199111238,2.4659066666666667,980,29,191,20,15,335,135,250,0.08199999999999999,0.725,0.192,0.9889,0,0,0,0,0,0,29.0,2,1,1,1,9,14,0,0,9,0,31,8,0,1,2,37,54,15,0,4,10,1,6,1,0,1,2,1,0,2,10,9,0,0,12,0,0,5,10,2,0,1,11,7,36,11,23,38,5,25,0,0,0,6,27,10,0,2,11,138,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09119983720264163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14927003817971538,0.15531409985295094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06525767697287438,0.0,0.07680166205185306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17537098649345667,0.0,0.0,0.05689237896039238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0803945096353877,0.09785348615549044,0.0,0.0,0.0745154639967119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09550778011765587,0.10938067530179477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06164280165080966,0.0,0.07863355130011619,0.0,0.0,0.18258697759319467,0.26394630025651505,0.0,0.18875941094141926,0.06667412359544038,0.08961029765602188,0.0,0.08530084549093522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0895295029057627,0.05304091593924111,0.0782797814927876,0.14928715711614296,0.0,0.0,0.0924101993082785,0.0,0.0,0.08360428597993656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12511267389829198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.256455377944028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543503585889726,0.13184180322488992,0.04559574445437094,0.1870799806080881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4211644936026018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06860741707338182,0.0,0.07198093513951861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09939214132371296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1010660110778346,0.0,0.0,0.08149112080068419,0.0,0.10244701200219823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10062424694362007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3587329696308066,0.09595756500908237,0.0,0.20040043848364247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07421881908852382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07453251167062598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07501416571467216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884156431638747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0911686903797682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770060459949641,0.0,0.0,0.07486274533712256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06629811195569929,0.10204040745199527,0.0,0.12020139302846312
divorce,Djxlain,2018/04/09,What do i do with the ring? My wife gave me the ring back after asking for a divorce this morning. What do i do with it? ,-1.0555555555555571,0.7289960370370387,1.468148148148149,100.56666666666668,88.62962962962963,3.6,16.407407407407412,3.1291,-1.1950148148148152,91,2,23,0,3,31,19,27,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,0,4,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,4,0,4,5,0,2,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,2,20,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7723154476078258,0.0,0.0,0.6352392064303993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,pinkmanjs,2018/04/09,"Continued drama I posted to this sub about a month ago asking for advice regarding discovering my hubby was involved in an online live porn chat room, Chaturbate.   I ended up deleting the thread for various reasons. 

Anyway the history is I found out he was purchasing tokens to “tip” the live web cam girls to continue their live sex acts or to perform something in particular.   He had been subscribing since late December and I found out mid March.  In that time a credit card had been charged $20.99 at least five times (purchase of the tokens).  We had a long talk and he apologized.  Said i was mistaken and too dramatic, It was just porn and “every normal guy looks at porn”.   I have a big problem with porn (he knows, we’ve been married for 16 years).  I also disagree with his assertions that this is the same as traditional porn.  This is interactive and  from his history i can see that he is revisiting specific people.  

We have counseling starting tomorrow to talk about that.  He swears he is done with It.   Today he is at work and i look at our internet browser history (please don’t lecture me about snooping, I don’t feel particularly trustful right now).  He has not visited the wonderful Chaturbate site, but his history as of last week is full of porn subreddits of videos and gifs of many different varieties.   Some of which i can see he has commented on “please a longer video of you touching your ...”.   

I am furious and feel betrayed.  I haven’t confronted him as he isn’t home yet.   I am deciding whether to do It now or wait until the counseling.   I feel like this is a slippery slope to actual cheating.  Am I being over dramatic?",4.5779153094462535,6.5924371889250875,5.573141368078178,76.97796612377851,71.24755700325733,9.73284690553746,31.17250814332248,10.078955797065145,3.489518931596092,1295,58,232,37,25,426,178,307,0.087,0.871,0.043,-0.9382,1,0,1,0,0,0,36.0,3,2,1,2,10,7,3,0,14,0,34,7,0,1,0,35,49,17,0,2,6,0,4,1,0,0,0,1,2,2,12,15,0,1,9,4,3,2,5,4,0,1,14,9,28,3,40,34,5,41,0,0,4,7,33,18,0,4,21,154,40,3,0.0,0.0,0.13168064463481227,0.0,0.0,0.13186047441059226,0.1196149600191885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10791037930215937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12614941027086254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1409821554992496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13808907540299706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1195155805227149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11369162157586213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20468708804459249,0.09640018927523453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2959065012704346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13361046570830978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13535445519171124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07415874597606795,0.10999299922108678,0.15221666011314414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06592420205201129,0.0,0.35745986613417896,0.11941644752379857,0.22662893992671865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13680659851880803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077067327088702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13221121413002107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09354946057612026,0.0,0.0,0.2962442043518519,0.0,0.0,0.1292339138157264,0.0,0.0,0.1291180518021492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873939289242884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11523685875413167,0.12835754447776734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150572463397184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11162263499060188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1038823553114912,0.0,0.0,0.09551026183399992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21691713016270486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15736760883093034,0.0,0.1279060499689428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10823963527367353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14633519579098098,0.09823693488860027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08689605812743767
divorce,momobo44,2018/04/10,"I have the best life, but does this marriage last? I’m a 35 year old man married to a 35 year old female. We have been married for 6 years but have known each other for 9. We don’t have any children.

To any outsider looking in, we’ve seemingly had an amazing relationship. We’ve accomplished big things together, been through major life events (death of family members), went on amazing vacations, bought a home, have awesome careers, paid off major debts, and typically run our lives pretty well.

However, throughout our relationship, we’ve had some epic battles. I’ve been dishonest about trying to quit smoking which has caused some trust issues. I have been reluctant to share parts of my life such as finances with her, which has caused issues when we do review financial issues together. 

On the flip side, the majority of my relationship with her, I’ve felt like a roommate. She lacks affection and we don’t have sex very often (once every few months). We do things she wants to do that I often find engaging, but a little on the boring side for me. We don’t typically do too many things I like to do as a couple.

There’s a whole lot more, but I’m at a point where I’ve let her know I am not happy and am past the point of no return, but she is really trying to pull out all the stops to address my needs right now. This is causing a situation that is making me feel even more smothered at home.

Am I an idiot for wanting to leave when all she can now do is fight for it? All I want to do is leave and now she is really trying to pull out all the stops. ",4.93209677419355,5.525234306451615,5.718870967741935,81.66830645161293,68.83870967741936,8.90967741935484,28.08064516129032,8.982922981607832,2.0536645161290323,1225,39,247,21,20,401,161,310,0.109,0.738,0.153,0.9655,2,0,0,0,1,0,37.0,8,0,0,3,14,15,4,0,18,0,36,4,0,5,4,48,51,13,1,5,6,0,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,2,11,15,0,2,6,0,4,4,5,5,1,0,10,3,28,10,35,40,18,38,0,0,1,1,24,17,0,6,19,167,39,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543990490252708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10450636534203576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30689795953114857,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101868542132503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08714587998124787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0657737271099536,0.0,0.08390309340900061,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09387812504639174,0.0,0.050352229506968826,0.0,0.09561543451021066,0.0,0.0910171890848085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10600810802772072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199780024945755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3118167879942237,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054728291359381946,0.0811735531613029,0.0,0.21088834065292428,0.0,0.10183051122286713,0.21101555789403864,0.09730258757885588,0.09980847124661936,0.08793374018393067,0.0,0.08362475990883092,0.0,0.0,0.08466202750149979,0.0,0.0,0.06647252158143416,0.1009616773460481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07948631508629331,0.0,0.0,0.07383963911337274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20899151489187776,0.10605279781623896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10783884013548446,0.09506337856605594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1882765175030585,0.0,0.0,0.1013118577553998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10591893107459063,0.0,0.0,0.1275910234336882,0.0,0.0,0.3207450845973598,0.0,0.08504346046077058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09065675378755678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11193562569682497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1665119340565866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19847584689357145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20283125294104767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08216652260195863,0.17621015449117508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08953720548738517,0.09231457173226706,0.0,0.11118102343112392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19238483841332435
divorce,se7enx,2018/04/10,"Girlfriend has a child from a previous marriage. If her and I were to marry, would she still be bound to keep her child where the court agreements says to,in the event I were to get a job relocation offer? Not sure so I figured I'd ask here. In their divorce agreement it says her 1.5 year old son and her can move back to Texas before May of 2018, she currently lives in Nebraska. After that, ""If"" we were to ever marry and my job relocated me, how then does that work with her divorce agreement?",5.326969696969698,5.509684474747477,5.7439898989898985,83.26931818181819,67.8888888888889,8.620202020202019,29.631313131313128,8.344100000000001,1.921779797979798,389,13,80,5,6,125,69,99,0.02,0.889,0.091,0.7844,3,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,1,0,1,1,7,4,0,0,5,0,8,0,0,1,2,16,11,8,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,3,5,0,2,1,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,3,2,14,4,11,5,0,13,0,0,0,0,20,3,0,3,9,55,17,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22482326274621509,0.0,0.0,0.18491997208700095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20463707118217864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2104521510572952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21753462839031307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12564474474943774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4772932885690364,0.21375625765508768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2123547868953028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2556000554297019,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25235108000046963,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3824904780543272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.192053554405688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2266565356658173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1750776969660073,0.0,0.0,0.17083535447922402,0.0,0.0,0.1548660058421827
divorce,pakko12,2018/04/10,My purpose is gone. We got married at 18 because of a pregnancy after some years of struggle we made it and were happy. I was going to school and thinking of our future so I molded myself around the idea of us staying together. Everything I did was for her and my daughter. We needed more money but I wanted to still go to school since I was almost done so I took an overnight shift. My days consisted of getting off work going to school sleeping. Repeat. I saw that she hated this. Since I was always tired I would snap at her and she started to get tired of me. I would sleep all day long and had to cancel plans because i would over sleep. It ended up that she wouldn't even come home anymore so we didn't see each other for days. One week i got to have 4 days off in a row and so we spent them together and we reconnected again. So as the last day ended i told her that i had a year of school left and that if we waited i wouldn't work overnight anymore and things will get better. She kept choosing to go with her family on my days off instead of with me. I would be at home by myself while they were at the zoo. I got upset. I thought she was going to try hard in our relationship. After a fight we apologized and ahe went off to pick up our daughter so we could go out. I fell asleep and woke up to her asking that if we divorced if i was going to ask for full custody. I was half asleep so i didn't see that she was recording everything. Apparently she had been recording everything we had every time i was upset. Well she left me. And now i feel as thou everything i did was for nothing. I feel i have no purpose. Nothing to look forward to. I don't even want to get out of bed.,1.342067179144383,3.3072543664772738,2.96298796791444,92.25915106951875,80.61931818181819,5.618449197860963,21.432486631016047,6.661559191721324,0.3414947192513376,1315,39,287,13,34,433,163,352,0.09,0.8690000000000001,0.041,-0.9489,2,0,0,0,2,0,26.0,15,1,2,4,15,8,2,3,8,0,35,7,5,2,1,57,74,26,0,13,4,2,3,0,0,7,2,0,3,0,11,30,0,2,6,0,2,13,6,5,1,2,35,7,68,3,53,30,5,58,0,0,4,0,40,22,0,5,24,214,79,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0795248569846502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06608147485168504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1575210506171919,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07069814806933368,0.14848872848778125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09682397961506836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07023806225765422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06841088828012783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06340817433603793,0.0,0.0,0.3073051553716301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08127137170367121,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14068013911592606,0.0,0.0,0.10490862712225267,0.0,0.0669124187392776,0.0,0.2855002447195213,0.0,0.07486747101136769,0.0,0.08031144808458472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16596884291352038,0.0,0.31594238633162897,0.0,0.19055157634735215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08454108931993802,0.07114221473397404,0.07840804613993685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15932385972648386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08965235545953483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06473562009456794,0.0,0.0,0.17257404680003965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07028172551605011,0.06669044876229788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07514647767916799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058886849711564035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1524058962897233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05381515206678447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08526435493275572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3214977971566575,0.12657045717654145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13138946194533696,0.0,0.2384236713767897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056211905021253415,0.08464817157241791,0.06342268088033881,0.0,0.0,0.08302410386913049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.052761260788630825,0.05088733693796153,0.0,0.06304838817163187,0.04630880970884862,0.18255678414621965,0.0,0.07588654078863231,0.08823543463907899,0.05391906773546047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0955291167922959,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368464788261292,0.0,0.06370368985181576,0.0,0.07140560309393751,0.07362054280139214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115633339234995,0.0,0.0,0.22566280960003915,0.0,0.0,0.10228414983659936
divorce,nashvilletall,2018/04/10,"Who to talk to... I (38M) have been considering and debating if it is time to divorce after 17 years (22 together).  I don't really have any friends that I can talk to where my conversation would be private enough that I would trust my wife not to hear about it.  

My family has always had a tenuous relationship with my wife and I have been careful not to ""air our dirty laundry"" to them but I really just want to call my mom or my sister and spill my guts and see if they think I am crazy.  I am afraid that if I am being stupid and divorce isn't the right option for me, then I will have further complicated that relationship with my wife and family.

I just need one good friend to talk with.  I am too in my own head to trust that I am thinking clearly.  I am not sharing my reasons for wanting a divorce here, but not having room for personal relationships is on the list :)",6.498248587570622,5.284016112994356,7.346666666666668,77.41909604519775,65.8361581920904,11.030508474576273,32.66101694915254,10.25414643259724,2.950328813559322,680,23,145,14,9,229,100,177,0.068,0.784,0.14800000000000002,0.9325,0,0,0,0,3,0,19.0,1,0,2,0,6,9,1,1,4,0,25,2,2,1,1,31,33,13,0,8,12,5,0,0,2,3,0,1,1,1,8,9,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,2,0,1,3,2,28,7,20,25,2,11,0,0,1,0,25,7,0,5,4,110,36,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12767177433284416,0.0,0.0,0.10434233883117412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15667620803438478,0.0,0.15643912347735528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15854131156572418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892932666919843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23708990314411796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12869557376997726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15747050369500742,0.0,0.17293451331733178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1797034174421102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11377150108136852,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10397279972607937,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13397516381121807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19659118645299295,0.1577586657871747,0.0,0.4942013554952943,0.0,0.13103425571893934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.122269326480054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3699802521197138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19663231223348407,0.0,0.0,0.08947027765407059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1810020924891014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21799431207638306,0.0,0.0,0.0988083190113011
divorce,lovecomesandgoes,2018/04/10,"Turns out I’m Bipolar So I guess I deserve being left. It’s not easy living with this or someone who has it. I was a good, faithful husband. Now the future seems so pointless. It explains why I haven’t been able to meet anyone new or why I have no friends after the divorce. Having my life taken away from me...I don’t think I can go on.",-0.7562499999999979,1.404311430555559,1.4763333333333364,97.30200000000002,94.41666666666666,2.8800000000000003,19.7,3.1291,-0.6386599999999998,261,9,57,0,10,87,57,72,0.067,0.8029999999999999,0.13,0.6479,0,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,9,2,0,0,0,9,17,4,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,5,2,0,0,3,0,0,1,4,0,0,0,3,0,7,3,7,13,0,9,1,0,0,0,6,4,0,4,4,38,12,0,0.25821826853071955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18055221723046916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24260456331022826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199498793728724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14675139264834136,0.21658123256079653,0.0,0.0,0.2844565345715924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2805549042950836,0.0,0.1823871994846815,0.0,0.0,0.2280114618906088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24938881280684574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2350722136704389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21878750097612526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545584007778152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.280867326919024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4660036481331077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,InvestorLizard01,2018/04/10,"The truth about marriage If you're dumb enough to get married, you deserve to be divorced. 
Good job letting the government into your home/sex life. Why should anyone pitty you ",3.470625000000002,6.592624812500002,3.017500000000002,87.67750000000002,82.125,4.45,26.75,5.985473137389443,1.1488500000000008,142,6,23,1,4,42,28,32,0.093,0.7609999999999999,0.146,0.2263,1,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,3,0,0,1,3,1,0,2,0,3,1,0,0,1,4,4,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,4,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,1,1,0,14,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2665237278513456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3938516871366058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991461914495784,0.0,0.0,0.3197082725993879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3823457380866201,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3782535465869277,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38977332177044827,0.269232452886328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3439476717536622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,qoskymotto0,2018/04/10,"I'm saying it tomorrow during counseling Married 2 years, no kids, rented apartment.

I want a divorce. I've tiptoed around the idea for well over a year. I'm done hiding my feelings from her. I can't handle her constantly turning my expressed feelings and communication with her around to make it seem like it's all my fault. I'm sick of the blaming, the pointing fingers, and the lying. I can't trust her anymore, and I feel that I simply can't recover from her constant lying. I'm not perfect, I got a lot of shit I need to work on too. We're toxic for each other right now especially since we don't even know ourselves yet. I'm 25, she's 22, we're young and we will recover. Hell it might even take filing bankruptcy, but maybe I'll work it out to not have to. All I know is it'll get better. I've made arrangements with a colleague to stay at his place for at least a week while I clear my head.

(edit: The decision came to me after a family weekend trip. I realized after getting home that there's just no getting past this, and it's time to make a final decision. I felt peace when the thought crossed my mind. :end of edit)

I'm going to tell her during our marriage counseling session tomorrow evening. I feel that's going to be the most neutral place to do so where I can express what I need to express and let her get it all out. I'll do my best to keep everything level-headed. I feel at peace, but also nervous as fuck. So fucking nervous, but I know it's the right thing to do. Time to move from marriage counseling to individual counseling to figure my own shit out.

Wish me luck everyone. ",2.8257793683253816,4.4925565858895755,4.429931833674168,84.80742217677803,75.16564417177915,7.283617359690979,27.41149738695751,8.045849151850463,1.7723741422403996,1261,50,254,20,27,423,171,326,0.124,0.7709999999999999,0.106,0.0387,1,0,0,0,1,0,40.0,3,0,0,5,16,15,5,2,15,0,16,7,4,3,5,57,53,15,0,4,6,0,7,1,0,3,1,1,2,1,16,17,0,1,16,1,1,6,8,8,1,0,6,8,37,7,40,42,9,44,1,0,0,2,21,17,5,5,21,160,53,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08483772788728533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10520978804290942,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888798263916358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133175136787762,0.09382532193276216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12133525511027216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2292846970371445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1085638237860578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09396158519919247,0.0,0.0,0.21020836986850688,0.0,0.0,0.1013706655764297,0.0953441464345506,0.0,0.10000937304001176,0.0,0.26820384949477016,0.0,0.10186014743678576,0.11621311248191082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19615142630646493,0.22170429560038307,0.0,0.12058336282939892,0.0,0.08484745744646592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21775171647669608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10641390116637618,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1197592991982722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09429499146204294,0.0,0.0,0.17490790651277244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084811352880151,0.0,0.05182874484403775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09019136552351352,0.0,0.1003820753838168,0.1416277797295739,0.0,0.10657864090814234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11254153201647796,0.1071176182931476,0.0,0.0,0.11275368173469605,0.0,0.15732431830269009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10127203632111699,0.0,0.0,0.22167665098678688,0.0,0.10028649626487933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18119542028841565,0.0,0.08436463277870984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09657761170300176,0.0,0.0,0.21779354225011727,0.08775625472391382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307461643329005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0797642140849674,0.0,0.09272470557486966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07047948249073803,0.0,0.0,0.0842212203384137,0.12372035445161365,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11539218189893904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06257285555159041,0.0,0.08509658462282108,0.0,0.09538494489662017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12199480339670507,0.0,0.0,0.15446518498880418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13663308722603604
divorce,singlemessmom,2018/04/10,"My divorce was finalized today, and I don’t really feel anything about it. I mean, I’m a little relieved that all the back and forth with lawyers is over, of course. And I’m glad that I now have a clear and simple answer when people ask if I’m married (just “no” instead of “well, um, yes, but also no? I mean kind of, technically, but not really?”)

But that’s about it. I didn’t feel any deep sadness or enormous relief like I expected to. To me, today just feels very “meh.” Like the legal system finally caught up to the reality of our relationship being over a long time ago. 

Is this normal? I feel like I SHOULD feel something, but I just don’t. ",2.4656904927133922,4.112062938931299,4.3675225537820985,84.96101318528802,76.09923664122137,7.206384455239418,23.359472588480223,8.00094639256281,1.2119251908396942,499,15,103,8,11,170,83,131,0.076,0.7340000000000001,0.191,0.9235,0,0,1,0,1,0,22.0,1,0,0,0,11,9,0,0,6,1,9,0,0,0,2,28,21,12,0,4,10,0,5,3,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,8,0,0,1,6,1,2,0,3,5,12,8,13,16,1,18,0,1,0,0,4,6,0,2,13,69,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14825703930290154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13374976961765314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11373573953560705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1376325045662662,0.0,0.1563561788054344,0.0,0.0,0.12860493112302646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42283314244521897,0.11948343792359155,0.0,0.3664284135863921,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1741651444439742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2451297148718581,0.16762844447243586,0.0,0.1480109925306047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3643685757747735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16386949564180314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11595009563330702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21428927344240525,0.0,0.0,0.17956391520576595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12875722595085998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975248236663214,0.0,0.31706689989751163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13799877104061034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15037784158794634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,SMBM2016,2018/04/10,"Over billing My attorney is overbiling me. No doubt about it. I’m going to ask for notification on any charges that will be more than 3 billable hours.

She has been working on one subpoena and a discover request for 6 days- in terries about the billable hours she is racking up. 

Anyone with experience? This is PA for support ",3.805956284153005,6.447022737704923,4.8176229508196755,78.63058743169401,75.72131147540983,8.001092896174864,34.756830601092894,8.841846274778883,3.4515879781420766,261,15,46,6,6,85,52,61,0.109,0.848,0.043,-0.4767,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,1,2,2,0,1,2,0,7,0,0,0,0,3,11,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,4,1,13,8,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,5,0,1,3,33,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21860137857851691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22476979257750704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30051834520701803,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20731278777043596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3144460466929843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18269108290109407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6331396128358162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.217827179353952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3647849189110076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23402409133378724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,01DVSBSTD,2018/04/10,"Alimony dated before finalization of divorce So the paperwork of the divorce stated alimony was to begin a month after filing in February, ex stated afterwards when divorce ended up pushed back that payment will not be made till the divorce is final, paperwork stated that the amount is to amount to $7000 payed at $500 installments a month with a start date in March and end date in April of 2018, divorce was finalized this last Friday, does anyone know if the clerk will adjust the dates? Ex has become difficult and I believe plans on not paying the full amount. Has anyone dealt with this? Should I file for contempt? Is there anything i should do? This is in Florida.",5.357258064516131,7.5137640806451635,5.613741935483869,76.90061290322583,69.48387096774194,8.508387096774195,28.529032258064518,9.120678840339163,2.6861025806451617,542,20,88,11,10,172,79,124,0.06,0.94,0.0,-0.8053,0,0,0,0,5,0,12.0,0,0,0,1,5,2,1,0,10,0,14,0,0,1,0,12,18,6,0,3,3,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,5,4,0,0,2,0,2,1,2,2,0,0,3,0,3,0,18,10,4,33,0,0,0,0,7,8,0,1,21,60,8,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2739823294923719,0.0,0.1612246961119934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15064966669142313,0.0,0.0,0.2163772133755182,0.16671269316328946,0.22073369416482405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17145009299675984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3470522773155747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6438592737970028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10767199373210624,0.1597001859568981,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18538335528164712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31276145507847786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867252173952593,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Ding72,2018/04/10,"Devastated My (45M) wife (45F) and I appear to be headed towards separation and ultimately divorce.  Every day I find new evidence that she is moving on without me even though we are still living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, and raising our 3 children.  It hurts so bad and there doesn’t appear to be anything I can do.  I am in so much pain.  Do not feel like I will ever be happy again.  ",4.754074074074077,4.9485449012345715,6.315654320987657,78.63644444444445,69.12345679012347,8.455308641975309,29.78024691358025,8.238735603445708,2.0475906172839493,311,11,62,4,5,107,64,81,0.196,0.762,0.042,-0.9271,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,2,0,0,0,8,5,0,0,2,0,11,3,2,0,1,14,14,7,0,0,2,1,1,1,0,1,1,0,1,1,2,5,0,0,2,0,0,3,3,3,0,0,0,1,10,2,8,10,3,13,0,1,0,0,6,5,0,2,6,49,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1923292335846612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1951439900258527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15072817440386274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1543679196617784,0.21141046922617387,0.19691671054437274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11817437236496413,0.1669675206036849,0.0,0.0,0.21361316668275585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2487961656204199,0.0,0.0,0.23986113989882302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2696781178667197,0.250198955932991,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11418235427913688,0.0,0.20637645358884515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24840425661184345,0.17180893735135452,0.0,0.0,0.2257254013682065,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24869143941338026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2338858564076513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18664675299700031,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2296258333864833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22529491404819774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FreeWifiHotspot,2018/04/11,"Financially caring for (soon to be ex) wife, post-divorce. Crosspost. My life insurance policy isn't much ($10,000), although my suicide would be connected to my PTSD disability rating. My wife and I are separated, and she will be filing for divorce. If I take my life prior to that point, she's entitled to $1,200 a month, indefinitely. I also have some money to give to friends and family, from savings so that most everyone would get a little bit to help them along. I've lived a difficult but okay life, and think that this could be a gift to a lot of people, but my (soon to be ex) wife would have to process the claim with intent, determination, and actually claim the money. I'd have to mention it in the will, but it seems like the best option. Yes, I'm in therapy. Yes, I'm on meds. Etc.

Crosspost: https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/8b4zdo/i_have_a_life_insurance_policy_and_my_spouse_is/",6.280290275761978,8.738672345911949,6.026540880503148,73.63963715529758,67.67924528301887,8.665892597968071,26.69617803580068,9.265573868473778,2.30086511852927,729,23,125,15,13,227,97,159,0.027000000000000003,0.773,0.2,0.9814,0,0,0,0,2,2,47.0,0,0,1,1,4,7,0,0,9,3,16,3,0,1,0,24,24,12,1,5,4,5,0,1,1,5,3,0,0,0,6,7,0,0,2,0,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,12,6,20,13,7,9,0,0,0,0,13,5,0,7,5,83,18,0,0.0,0.0,0.16986789508874292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13920427744807412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18267646237278254,0.0,0.19004012259739567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17747668182772247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13898129123383385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941348461704532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16633201533573974,0.0,0.0,0.1640983658893604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344865925145796,0.0,0.09094475725820003,0.16698447879107675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1166759222546711,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3688538539785674,0.08504215231506873,0.1744645733539282,0.1537076189324387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479886859586379,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19335330841997786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13894157355381573,0.0,0.12796199475450545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1206787071769224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16455307795252436,0.0,0.16671161486821767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20347933541958665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15846742940403394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904050950996288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13087950448959956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19906501807572646,0.0,0.0,0.11153747713359856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3709644969683725,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,cyecye,2018/04/11,"Talking to Kids about Infidelity Without going into too much detail, I left my STBX after I met someone else. It was not an ongoing affair and I had been unhappy after dealing with his manipulative/narcissistic behavior for years.
The day that it happened, I told my stbx that I wanted a divorce. He became emotional, threatened some things, and I moved into my parents' house with our 2 kids.
We tried to work some things out, but that ended in an order of protection against him when he put the kids in his car and parked outside of where I was and began to yell at and threaten me. 
Since then, I've been given custody and he's been given visitation.
I've continued my relationship with my now bf. It will be a year soon. My children have met him, but only know our relationship as platonic (they are 7 and 3). No overnights, just the occasional dinner, visit to a museum, park, or something. 
I recently found out that my stbx is telling my kids that he will ""break [my bf's] bones"" and that he took mommy away and it's his fault we are getting a divorce.  
Our court date keeps getting pushed out further. I don't know what I should say to my kids in the meantime. 
I have told my daughter that we don't live together anymore because we argued too much, which she remembers. She's said that she likes that I am happier now and she told me ""he is just sad. I know that's not the reason... it was because it was the right choice.""
Maybe my kids have a right to know, but I don't feel like it should be at this age. Should I try to ask him to stop? We are supposed to use OFW to communicate about visitation. I feel like asking him to stop or telling him that is inappropriate won't help or might make it worse. My lawyer is aware. ",3.717786499215073,5.115841542274055,4.795233236151606,84.18008466023775,72.3527696793003,7.84252074456156,27.186476788517602,8.384062270229773,1.746118277640726,1351,48,277,22,26,443,174,343,0.115,0.857,0.028,-0.9807,1,0,1,0,2,0,46.0,8,0,1,1,12,6,1,0,13,0,31,2,1,3,0,55,58,19,0,4,11,2,2,3,2,7,0,3,0,7,24,23,1,4,9,1,0,9,8,3,0,0,19,5,52,3,35,30,4,45,0,1,0,0,61,16,0,6,21,188,76,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1130713364930127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2131755586758265,0.0,0.10711998660788713,0.0,0.0,0.13900385677662722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07352965311179556,0.11754351599145045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09524413861533627,0.1282505005104133,0.10098263873644216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11529789491668238,0.16290337117770995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12501056007454048,0.0,0.0,0.11913530801693666,0.0,0.06479683234596582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10082227942701276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07642123831562089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13155694704727774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134095798065798,0.0,0.0,0.25063663904893324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12387663768894724,0.0,0.0,0.16710456956382902,0.0,0.10067652648781417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07610528752338927,0.0,0.1145424735973955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12095092740691014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1211789295027394,0.16762694320309585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08671284982894817,0.0,0.0,0.12659914948713066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11461564700731587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11722546909527573,0.11257515484441254,0.24481691887367524,0.1291557333545233,0.19473481241182944,0.10845350444188884,0.09066857712079424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09431362986119933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09660376480456556,0.0877736133785274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19064176167782967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09164020329049496,0.19930667251217246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15149178472469546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3268360344924854,0.126673844309589,0.1548161601873013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09847156318283512,0.0,0.0,0.06724846173548951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10990550999064737,0.0,0.08300361227417953,0.0,0.11619009380086932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468426661549146
divorce,pixardidnthappen911,2018/04/11,"Joint account question So my husband hit me and now i'm going to divorce him, however he's withdrawing a bunch of money from our joint accounts. Could I get that back in court?",1.9195714285714305,4.5051923142857175,3.3310714285714305,86.76517857142859,83.0,5.7857142857142865,28.75,7.1686216300943375,1.858571428571429,141,7,26,2,4,46,33,35,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,2,0,3.0,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,3,5,2,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,0,4,3,1,4,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,2,17,6,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4381713225799669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4549703906388622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2977175659326932,0.0,0.3238528615454161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6383505390570308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,UrgeOverkiller,2018/04/11,"I don't even know. I feel so lost. My wife moved out four months ago so we could try a separation. Two months ago she told me she couldn't/wasn't coming back. 
I'm so lonely. I Miss her.I'd do anything to repair this. And she just says let to her go. she really does seem happier, which makes me happy/completely depressed that I don't get to share in it. Or even- it was me that caused all the unhappiness.  Now she wants to move away. I'm losing my mind. I know I fucked this up by being too complacent in life. I can't pull myself from this dark mindset. I want my wife. ",-0.5520882352941143,1.6651158499999994,1.5196078431372548,96.74029411764708,94.66666666666666,4.8235294117647065,14.558823529411766,6.522977012572876,-0.5340147058823534,442,9,102,6,17,146,83,120,0.205,0.754,0.041,-0.9586,0,2,0,0,0,0,19.0,1,0,0,2,9,7,1,0,2,0,8,2,0,2,1,17,24,5,0,3,2,2,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,8,4,0,0,4,0,0,5,3,6,0,2,3,2,22,1,11,18,1,16,0,5,0,1,12,5,1,2,6,65,30,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3081211321436703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1430201335670975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1632880151418719,0.1336391754590708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17853740735765775,0.0,0.1497107380091787,0.1822228619286332,0.0,0.0,0.1387627732122347,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14969111297850415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1520909376281578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22958257647071795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08787699199355108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16067253836519746,0.09080176629693863,0.0,0.09877284787183097,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19102858676569684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1777192213145718,0.12275797035629248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1944344024459088,0.18971997051186168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11601085600379188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.175485439579769,0.0,0.2774462359593565,0.36943744117425503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11133881711413993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13821036076102486,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15821827364462304,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16607049421590347,0.0,0.11799676376644175,0.0,0.16977442840297494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2050199628632832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,rosegolddiamond,2018/04/11,"Why :( Why doesn’t my husband care about me or our baby? He told me how resentful and jealous he is of the baby and I’m scared he’s gonna try to hurt him.  He took all of our money and now I can either move back in with my alcoholic parents across the country or some kind of shelter. Ugh. :( 
Why did I choose a guy like this? Why did he get married knowing that I wanted babies and a family but he just wants to party and be carefree? ",-0.2872434017595289,1.8165094838709697,2.1717888563049854,94.55041055718478,88.56989247311827,4.672140762463343,19.207233626588465,6.11248444174946,-0.07967956989247282,334,10,75,3,11,114,67,93,0.145,0.746,0.109,-0.1506,1,0,1,0,0,0,10.0,2,0,0,0,5,8,2,1,4,0,6,1,0,1,1,18,15,9,0,2,5,2,0,1,0,1,1,0,0,1,2,6,1,0,2,0,1,2,1,5,0,0,4,0,10,3,9,9,3,6,0,1,0,0,13,2,0,3,3,46,12,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2016815403685437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14511205507844138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924099975608861,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1779059978773236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09859706831352473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1868599261213836,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20202591229613392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1965201630497474,0.10371416431250914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09219780396502164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20057676249332976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20954837315973912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18893906976459235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803275919712841,0.20967200889183532,0.1281267474446358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2226208597965231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6811525109534382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lvxr,2018/04/11,"Power vs. Intimacy and Vulnerability I’m posting here in the hopes of collecting some lessons learned because I’m very close to a divorce. 


Is there a way to clearly verbalize the difference between the two? I’m trying to understand how to work through this better with my spouse. Part of our work has been about not putting each other on pedestals, but the other half is a vulnerability/intimacy problem. My spouse keeps calling it power, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with vulnerability and a fear of true intimacy. I just don’t know how to articulate the difference. ",6.034322429906544,7.9243495700934625,7.160829439252336,67.54535630841123,67.3177570093458,9.835981308411217,36.739485981308405,10.125756701596842,4.116907476635514,472,25,80,12,8,159,68,107,0.102,0.7509999999999999,0.147,0.6414,2,0,1,0,1,0,10.0,1,0,0,6,6,6,0,1,9,0,7,0,0,2,3,24,15,6,0,2,5,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,5,6,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,2,0,2,1,0,4,4,16,14,3,6,0,0,0,0,5,3,0,2,0,56,9,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12888741736019954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18699504979580714,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21589643615516466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4418043608691047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23792058015779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.210000387604175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18793110709042926,0.0,0.0,0.11619788778511535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22896102059272344,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2024940904534328,0.21510307715363072,0.0,0.20231254853177533,0.0,0.21254827131278786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16277122956250614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1992728266495481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14354893105037467,0.0,0.206539034961792,0.220108907329215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17445412849269984,0.0,0.16782544354414988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30785106156522696,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,rmaurice1979,2018/04/11,"Loneliness sucks Been Separated for a month and a half now, been together for 20 years married for 13Y.  The ex-wife told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted to see what else was out there.  I went to stay with my parent and stayed on the couch to give her time.  She just keeps telling me she done and doesn't want to work on the marriage. One day in my lonely night's texts her telling her this was lonely.  She texts me saying it wasn't, she then told me she has been talking to her old friend and she wants to see where it will go.  Thinking she has been having an emotional affair with this person before the separation, but she keeps saying she reach out to him after we split up.  No way to find out if she telling the truth or not.  She also told me she hasn't loved me for a long time and was lying to me about loving me.  A month before the split up and told me on the ride to work that we should renew our vows.  I said that be fun, but do it somewhere hot.  She also gave me a beautiful card on valentines day where she wrote she loves me so much and I was the best husband in the world.  This just confused me more when she asks for a separation.

We have 2 children and it hard to bring them into my parents home.  My ex-wife told me I can have the house for the weekend. She would stay at a girlfriend house.  She ends up asking if she can come home early that day.  She came home and her shirt was stretched out and she had no makeup on anymore.  Found out she was at this new guys house all day not her friend house.  She explains that she wants to see where this relationship is going.  It has only been 2 weeks after telling me she wanted a divorce.

Few weeks go by and I finally got a new apartment.  I couldn't deal with not having my kids and my father smoked all the time. Still waiting for furniture and getting set up.  Still having a hard time sleeping and still feels weird living alone.

This weekend this information hit me the hardest, I seen some medication charged to my insurances, ex-wife charged birth control to my health insurances.  Felt like the biggest slap in the face.  Then a few days later she brought my kids to her new friend house for the day.  My kids told me all about it the next day.  How they met mom friend from her old work and his daughter.  How they went out for dinner with him and his daughter.  My ex-wife asks me to take the kids tonight so she can go for an operation to get her tubes tied in the morning.

I still want my wife back, but she doesn't want to come back.  She seems to be moving so fast with this new person.  I told her to not bring the kids to his house.  She just keeps telling me she conscious of what she doing and only telling the kids he is a friend.  I told her she might be but this new friend might not be conscious.  Also, my kids are 7 and 9,  they know what going on.  

I'm dumping my story on here because I feel like I need too.  I'm lonely, tired and still not sleeping.  I try to keep busy, but this whole process just sucks.  All I can think of how much I tried to make this woman happy and now she with another man.  If she came crawling back, not sure if I want her back.  She doesn't realize the pain and suffering she put me through. 

I know i just need to focus on my self and the kids.  Trying to do that.

",2.842549646199497,4.1273296587537125,3.3483827893175118,94.142243209313,74.37091988130564,6.252864642775623,22.4570874229628,6.490185161304077,0.2265609221638898,2546,64,580,18,52,793,261,674,0.08900000000000001,0.8109999999999999,0.1,0.9688,2,7,1,0,2,0,62.0,4,0,4,5,34,27,3,1,37,0,47,13,4,5,6,114,120,45,0,17,22,8,6,2,7,5,4,3,4,15,25,43,1,6,15,2,0,17,16,10,0,2,36,13,116,17,75,73,12,105,0,4,4,4,130,32,2,10,53,390,141,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04961053048628532,0.0,0.11491817319107997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05022791002104272,0.0,0.0,0.09500896157721432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13434166269462358,0.0,0.0,0.14733028490711986,0.0,0.029199734648027456,0.0,0.08151969108465028,0.0,0.05026867882159719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10957095157374253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825241760463524,0.0,0.0,0.05372454718637605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21624327361697576,0.04938337044938222,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049018900021727464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0400147684940407,0.053881678828503705,0.04242567542424525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048439921238348935,0.034220167137535666,0.045992046054327086,0.05247271828957208,0.0437802408530276,0.0,0.0,0.05252048780551033,0.222047106795747,0.0,0.050052127501695284,0.0459505785447655,0.1361149506502803,0.0,0.038310450835467184,0.0,0.0,0.04742908185385631,0.0,0.05099103310587748,0.08581897999911353,0.0,0.0,0.050916051632887815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14414449123888942,0.0,0.0,0.33162486572367034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1703048620739954,0.0,0.0,0.05264978629379195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0468035847147046,0.0,0.04229706897202554,0.04239048516354901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17292848963026755,0.0,0.03197399342042519,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04825477128378241,0.0,0.10162984157741588,0.0,0.05610055284959936,0.07646753440726482,0.05091071094664733,0.07042484107841503,0.0710353114041326,0.0,0.23131327979475544,0.05094278526210992,0.04495142740644062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10052715262036882,0.0,0.03245865676334592,0.0728610634062718,0.05096956936073939,0.0,0.10637579869832074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364983665762737,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048153289509134604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05142727140259449,0.0,0.0,0.04556439835249672,0.07618489023929206,0.0,0.0,0.1145116254835088,0.04360686762227543,0.04997072715700817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587029942635276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15316685958468754,0.19126723149935573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04514570762534339,0.0,0.03601525719329733,0.03850065287718951,0.25120318612261544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0613854849362956,0.0,0.0,0.11172479881452332,0.05505464324498037,0.0,0.36616827578360417,0.0,0.09756400077359202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2260239142940957,0.03802123216559967,0.0768458742211738,0.0,0.0,0.08880859154894098,0.0,0.05347926070937232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10461652688364803,0.0,0.0,0.034027181006429215,0.0,0.0,0.030846387907226425
divorce,-caturday-night-,2018/04/11,"I'm amazed at how long the divorce process takes We separated a year ago and had a rather simple divorce.  No kids, no houses, no cars, and most assets were monetary (401k, other investments).  The divorce was finalized by the courts in November.  That means it's over, right?  Nope, that was followed by the QDRO to split our monetary assets, which took entirely too long in my opinion (finished two weeks ago).  And now the latest ""surprise"" was taxes.  Filed ""single"" for the first time in 10+ years and now I owe a lot of money above and beyond what was taken out of my check.  

I'm sort of scared that there's more left that I'm not expecting.  I can't wait until this is really ""over"".  

End rant.",2.532529914529917,4.782345614814815,3.5814814814814824,87.88128205128206,78.03703703703705,6.820512820512822,22.236467236467234,7.882392219407189,1.0967150997150998,538,16,107,9,13,173,95,135,0.093,0.8540000000000001,0.053,-0.6452,2,0,0,0,3,0,28.0,2,0,0,1,7,3,0,1,9,0,8,0,0,1,0,17,18,7,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,9,7,0,1,1,0,5,3,6,1,0,2,8,0,6,2,16,10,4,29,0,0,0,0,6,10,0,4,16,70,15,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3873977366712763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935379378299588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2393706544101957,0.0,0.1858673130819221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2521350259541879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2374153547938125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3867548129817756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1857722052739364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23802505808997546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998522416684894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18660917603992289,0.0,0.0,0.21876994705926736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16429481765240178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1274168705082822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.242776331767847,0.0,0.0,0.21345575634619207,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1752781998021774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2814308196802874
divorce,WellThatHappened22,2018/04/11,"Wife wants a divorce My wife blindsided me 5 days ago asking for a divorce.  We have been together for almost 8 years and have young daughter.  She has told me she hasn't loved me for years and just couldn't tell me.  It looks like I'm getting the kid.  
I've told her that I would be moving out of state to be with family and she is ok with that.
I have a support network but I'm just shocked and hurt.  What can I expect from a legal standpoint?  She has said something about ""joint custody and promising to never try to take the child.""  Is this even a thing?  I know I need to get a lawyer, what do they typically cost?
Well enough questions for now.  I guess I'm going to go try an sleep.  ",0.8591841491841485,2.970325594405597,2.1559720279720302,96.58524009324013,83.26573426573427,4.9322144522144535,20.022843822843825,6.079149491110277,-0.14620149184149156,532,15,121,4,15,170,93,143,0.07,0.83,0.1,0.2656,0,0,1,0,2,0,15.0,1,0,1,0,6,8,0,0,9,1,15,2,1,0,1,22,34,6,0,5,3,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,2,7,9,0,0,2,0,1,3,3,2,1,0,4,2,18,6,15,26,1,12,0,1,1,1,21,1,0,3,8,77,25,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16136536540954105,0.0,0.18228437979586476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1701806001631429,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11739920443114148,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18809352178555447,0.0,0.12023413027895545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17160886592762062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1902142848352928,0.0,0.20691234747180168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20053496004273566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19487503575365156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10004311451361818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08893438539584594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15286575231804345,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1642960580524503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19347717982307214,0.0,0.13497858763677675,0.1403986337641136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2039237941512791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17315946152892306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18216908403854976,0.0,0.0,0.14014145238817494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20657413239772146,0.0,0.0,0.1368696343616993,0.0,0.15910890233068128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093770507452553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3478894913367641,0.0,0.2471831875969733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10737050391032013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16367368100316654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12931430137269925,0.0,0.0,0.2344525161423505
divorce,iceiced0ge,2018/04/11,"Feeling lost and about to go to college I'm 17 years old and my family situation has been a mess for a long time. My mom's been carrying the family for the longest time, while my abusive dad has been leeching. I think a divorce is necessary, but my mom seems to be really against it even though she doesn't love him anymore. I'm thinking that it could be because divorce often leads to a dividing of assets. Can someone explain to me how this all works? I'm hoping that my parents can part on fair terms, as in my mom gets a good majority of the assets. I can't do anything about the choice, but I want to know what the options are. 

California btw, if that matters. Thanks for any input.",3.8517266187050367,4.955502410071944,5.196467625899282,82.56391007194247,71.66187050359713,8.149928057553957,30.446762589928056,8.548686976883017,2.2838282014388493,541,23,109,9,10,181,93,139,0.073,0.773,0.154,0.8673,1,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,0,0,0,3,6,6,0,0,10,0,15,1,0,2,1,20,31,9,0,4,3,5,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,7,2,0,0,6,0,0,2,2,2,0,0,4,1,12,4,17,24,4,11,0,1,0,1,11,2,0,5,7,73,19,3,0.0,0.1889030145275025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1084204697767974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811551552532746,0.0,0.0,0.13120045521803753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0971893813053292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12729493784328855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10530453926948953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3006000462454492,0.0,0.08061453352885248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08329759437101314,0.0,0.09060991820348492,0.13372553004501606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15835376457338834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0876206619243561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1410939200626051,0.0,0.0,0.17404085616680814,0.0,0.14389525384236754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5601809147989445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16729898208544267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17703239748530464,0.17265129824313732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10213739229910468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14514256844997192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1792103018906222,0.0,0.0,0.13508776448136586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14678524755933886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20431751774460732,0.1566429258236829,0.0,0.1859342936525525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09403820212427802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160697251155894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10267015753206672
divorce,two00ohfour,2018/04/11,"Does your life feel like a dream? This night, after my 3rd call after midnight I finally have gotten to rest and as I lean into the recliner I fall into a deep sleep. My dreams come so quick, it's my wife complaining about my jobs in the fire service, the fact that I'm gone for multiple days but don't bring home much money, and that she is always worried about my safety.

My memory from dreams are fuzzy like most but I can pick bits and pieces out of it, her complaining continues on for what seems like days and weeks. We have a happy marriage and I can see that, somewhere along the line we have a daughter and she is just the light of the world, she is everything to me. Eventually I give in and look to change jobs, I go back to school and start a career in Safety and compliance. She's happy now because I'm home every night and am making more money. The transition from the fire service, through grad school and into the new job is kind of blurry, but regardless it's there. I can remember my wife drinking more after our daughter, I'm not sure at what point it starts but it's there and she seems different when she drinks than when she used to, more angry than before. My dreams keep building, the spots of stories of her insulting and demasculating me while she's intoxicated, they're there, just not a clear version of them.

Sometime forward we now have a daughter and have been married for some years when she doesn't come home till late one night. I remember not thinking much of it but in the morning she wakes me up, sits me down and tells me she's met someone and she was drinking with him the night before. The dream continues of me pleading with her to work it out but in the end she leaves me.

The process of divorce is blurry but strikingly painful. I reflect on my ability to go on calls so emotionless for so many years but now feel so broken. It's odd.

As it continues, I meet someone, someone great. A beautiful Asian nurse I vaguely knew from years ago who makes me happy and I am learning mandarin. I sense this happiness as I look back.

Yet my dream is filled with deep emptiness, except for these short moments laying down with my daughter while she tells me scratch her back. These seem to be the only moments I can find true joy.

It is extremely hard to not look at the past 10 years as just a dream, these fleeting memories, these blips in time. I was a happily married man with a great family who's wife turn into an alcoholic and left him for someone at work. I now see my daughter half the time and make the most of what I can between my time with her and this beautiful amazing woman who is here for me now, but I am a broken person and my life feels like such a broken dream, short and long term. ",5.524510296333499,5.779708097605897,5.626167754897036,84.03308387744855,67.47145488029466,8.865427758245437,29.71421396283275,8.666027191798058,2.0449292817679554,2159,72,441,31,33,681,235,543,0.096,0.7340000000000001,0.17,0.9943,5,0,4,0,1,0,47.0,4,1,1,2,27,19,1,0,33,0,28,10,2,5,4,84,61,45,0,1,17,8,7,4,0,0,5,0,3,3,26,40,4,1,13,11,2,9,6,4,0,2,7,13,71,15,72,53,13,86,0,0,5,0,53,29,0,6,53,304,97,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06497286878915738,0.0783316000933546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060988507091399725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16908130679225328,0.0,0.04468082757402743,0.0,0.12473973839646844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08002072539940051,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14968771405725678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07753791139744637,0.1262767804249496,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09454027617508824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07657917612810211,0.0,0.0,0.06414220579928642,0.0,0.0,0.21540781152316935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06491888748963033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06175540927230198,0.0,0.06587411123447738,0.0,0.06909735742036832,0.0,0.11118264230680328,0.10472597822253976,0.0,0.0802926638374526,0.0669916153787946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031262104377263,0.08331210832648123,0.0,0.0,0.16161916071178056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31210167975675696,0.06565921050550251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22056690707721224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21820621116159486,0.06514924081562459,0.0,0.07632695979098451,0.0,0.0,0.0826815733037786,0.07761034342495944,0.079636793070058,0.0,0.10354288192169377,0.14323574674164866,0.0,0.0,0.06486504008350126,0.18465164025456007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14677782220540972,0.07431108260728864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1077626293212056,0.0,0.0,0.07079015542211728,0.0,0.2751349628842279,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049667562517578215,0.05574524306740284,0.07799257656211174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06996974261171633,0.0,0.06399962145798972,0.0,0.0,0.06928882429928274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1660611492667834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14835981434862158,0.11681554085163345,0.2001789697845027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07334937063252762,0.0,0.24841533225489396,0.0,0.07249205020242726,0.0,0.10375919047522232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06908102427744797,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12812863290807475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0469653971354148,0.0,0.0,0.12821922523648288,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07972547566113819,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06330458790920405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05879398044604514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10672135792616763,0.0744360894868962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18880200878228925
divorce,ApocBytes,2018/04/11,"Please help me I dont know if this is where this belongs, or iff it'll be taken down. Im in highschool, i thought we were having a normal night and then my dad tells me he lives me and heads to the door. Im trying to not give into emotion right now, i have a brother to stand for. I don't know what to do. Im scared, im confused, i thought my parent's marriage was okay but now it turns out they've been like this. Please anyone please tell me what to do they say everythings going to be alright but i domt think i can believe them. ",-0.5852747252747221,1.4644643247863272,1.2846703296703303,100.73711538461541,89.51282051282051,3.684737484737485,17.758852258852258,4.65589566412798,-0.8877711843711841,414,11,100,1,14,135,78,117,0.033,0.8170000000000001,0.151,0.9001,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,1,0,2,0,3,5,0,2,3,2,14,1,1,0,0,17,23,7,0,2,5,3,0,1,0,1,0,1,1,0,7,5,0,0,5,0,0,1,3,2,0,0,6,1,16,3,11,14,0,12,0,0,0,0,13,6,0,3,5,61,23,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09626467113015616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15511114541941914,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16135258293516114,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1548644127202115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12373226875202027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13206918409388166,0.07824315185868014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14129296297598806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09227979730292764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.594845001214402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132375997756484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06726042894017115,0.0,0.12156842341508235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1291974667008898,0.1348910217535918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15287038146576956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4533732294558134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757261079027867,0.0,0.10948367368631763,0.13783541830068596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24066581157171385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08821576536676003,0.0,0.2185951221806612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09347142362636594,0.1497494811850096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,toadasaurus,2018/04/11,"Wife and I in mutual agreement So my wife and I have decided it would be best for ourselves and our family if we got a divorce.  We are 30(me) and 28(her), we have 2 children (5 and 1), we have been married almost 6 years.  We are in total agreement about how we should split up our assets, our problem is we don't have enough money to get another apartment, or even pay for a lawyer.  
We know nothing about how we should do this process even though we are on the same team here.  Does anybody here have advice for us?  Is my wife eligible for any aid even if I am paying maintenance and child support?  I don't think selling the house solves our issues either.  Thanks in advance.  We live in New York (Orange County).
I should add that I am a carpenter I bring home 950$ for 40 hours, she does some off the books babysitting stuff maybe adding to 850$ a month.",3.4229427549194966,4.7302781279069785,4.045581395348837,89.62321109123438,72.95348837209302,6.920214669051878,24.85867620751341,7.321109707123232,0.9521846153846149,666,20,141,7,13,211,110,172,0.024,0.857,0.119,0.9456,1,0,0,0,1,0,25.0,16,0,0,3,11,6,0,0,7,0,21,0,0,2,1,36,28,13,0,7,4,3,0,0,0,4,0,0,1,2,4,18,0,0,3,2,4,2,2,1,0,0,2,0,26,5,16,21,6,14,0,0,0,0,24,8,0,5,4,98,30,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739404805232419,0.0,0.0,0.17824225183378226,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12104675846456425,0.18664952945044694,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18680102843649998,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115396837546124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.183922576997266,0.0,0.352703871042551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16780346583637792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09299815622699943,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1423636304691697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17854947877479066,0.0,0.1752950925736214,0.20538921194563955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18578675882708173,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782467390426823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15717811108314506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17882589186277484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14207867009967565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1719144388498066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1707967243038837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17032288162984624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20376851579198574,0.0,0.20199338292405367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16387937115615586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11405582945464965,0.17488504197036586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2141132412980988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264467767166584,0.0,0.0,0.11462678390794502
divorce,MistressFahrenheit,2018/04/11,"Husband Dumped Me Tonight I am in total shock and haven’t accepted the reality yet. Turns out I didn’t want kids and that was part if not all of what he couldn’t get over. Many of you will think that’s a reasonable dealbreaker but I loved him more than anything and objective witnesses didn’t consider him the parenting type.  I am devastated in so far as I can process this, which I can’t. I feel abandoned and completely desperate. I feel utterly betrayed. I don’t know how I will cope. Please keep me in your prayers. ",1.5087229275578835,4.155540902912627,2.8514563106796125,88.73094100074684,86.5728155339806,7.82942494398805,26.369678864824497,8.617729084823388,2.366340403286035,415,19,86,12,13,134,75,103,0.207,0.691,0.101,-0.9257,1,0,0,0,0,0,9.0,0,2,0,0,3,5,1,0,3,0,12,1,0,2,2,21,21,9,0,3,3,2,2,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,5,0,2,6,0,0,0,7,3,0,0,3,2,16,2,9,15,4,8,0,1,0,1,9,6,0,1,2,59,21,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316835932865161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2951895399452411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.284710365799297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470931327481081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2502458630140144,0.0,0.0,0.15472712931553118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2541010197843561,0.0,0.0,0.2854375701966248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3126170706447621,0.30488059737351225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3090465912848491,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28947021288834546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1803995900920633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30623488794729786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16605970259896716,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,musiclvr201,2018/04/12,"Selfish mom won’t help pay her sons tuition. Instead takes a 4 week vacation So according to the divorce agreement if my ex wife doesn’t agree to sending our son to a private high school she is off the hook for tuition.  Background: he spent freshman and sophomore year there and she was fine with it when we were married.  

So, I paid his junior year tuition along with help from my parents.  This year I’m really trying to get her to pony up.  She got $135,000 in cash equity of the house and $170,000 in a retirement plan.  She has plenty of money and we are talking about $7,000 here.  

I was informed she can not afford to help because she is struggling.  Then in the same breath she tells me she is taking him for four weeks renting a beach house (at a cost of $2,000/week)

I said our son will then have to get a job and not go for more than two weeks.  Thinking she would realize what a selfish person she is being.  

Her reply was “okay.”

... thoughts???  Should I just forget about it?  Should I take out a loan myself and just keep paying the full tuition?  Should I have him work to contribute where she refuses to?  

He has spoken to her and he knows her financial situation.  It is sad she is so selfish and is intent on ruining his summer vacation.  He’s 17 and next year is his last year of school.  ",2.573058528428092,4.490663780769231,3.477926421404682,90.26185618729096,76.57692307692308,6.36789297658863,25.15050167224081,7.255503002510835,1.0628561872909699,1013,36,210,12,23,323,151,260,0.08199999999999999,0.851,0.067,-0.6072,4,0,0,0,1,0,36.0,4,0,0,2,12,9,0,1,13,1,26,1,1,1,0,34,41,16,0,5,5,7,0,0,0,6,0,1,1,1,5,15,0,2,5,1,13,2,4,6,0,2,9,1,36,3,32,25,3,27,0,2,0,0,48,11,0,1,14,141,41,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07965262236504335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1365349123379399,0.0,0.07426035128792308,0.0,0.10450532889476677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26274747380592056,0.13805552845503086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3015414410981087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12966558498769218,0.11614171352261865,0.0,0.0,0.07181047355070648,0.1065100178996788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15303413556537784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13896449695923693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14508884112530113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11409228423652228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837078189909701,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429304098169255,0.0,0.0,0.2644814097697679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1468737665442513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13660020211883164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2947331249934576,0.1050241723563594,0.11420761616676806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08372533020015158,0.0,0.1037340021289129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08871346039859414,0.0,0.12764144159608465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4192487002661355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09512621500904113,0.0,0.0,0.09282119277872188,0.0,0.0,0.4207222628760986
divorce,x77xx7p,2018/04/12,Wife and Group Chats? I have no access to either of my wife's phones. They are locked. She does a lot of group chats with old friends and coworkers. Should I be concerned? ,0.5329411764705867,3.021655823529411,0.5972941176470599,102.8918235294118,93.70588235294115,3.896470588235295,15.623529411764707,5.6839178017228535,-0.9098047058823528,134,3,30,1,5,39,28,34,0.065,0.8320000000000001,0.103,0.3094,0,0,0,0,0,0,5.0,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,6,4,2,0,1,1,2,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,5,1,4,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,10,0,0,1,1,19,5,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4902274012813676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.432802602631775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4762548239595802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.587826798337153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,littlehappyfrog,2018/04/12,"Divorcing, but still acting married/sleeping together for now... I'm not sure if this is a unique situation or not.  Me (28f) and STBX(32) were married for 6 years and we're divorcing amicably.  The divorce was mostly my decision but I wasn't met with any resistance. Long story short, he started exhibiting some extreme behavior a week after we got married when he killed my dog during an anger episode. It was one of those moments where I knew I should have left then but I was frozen with surprise and the newlywed emotions, so I tried to forgive and move forward.  It has been a roller coaster of dealing with his ""episodes"" ever since.  

Anyway, a year ago I discovered he had some sexual internet relationships and that is when I started mentally moving on.  We filed for divorce in February and things should be final in May, and my rental house will be ready in June.  

We have two kids.  We are trying to keep everything as normal for them as possible while we transition.  But I didn't expect to keep our old habits.  We sleep in the same bed, cook dinner together, go shopping, and go on dates still. He's good company when his mental illness isn't flaring up. In a few weeks we are even going on vacation as a family.  We have sex the same amount that we used to.  We don't fight about anything and we still support each other when we're sad about the divorce. 

I know things will change between us when I move out and I try to move on (date other people, ect).  I am just so surprised by the way we are handling things.  Are we in denial or something?  Are we making the situation worse in the long run?",4.213325242718446,5.877246291262139,4.973644822006474,82.33580703883496,71.52427184466019,8.256796116504855,29.379854368932037,8.841846274778883,2.392068932038835,1260,51,239,24,24,407,183,309,0.08199999999999999,0.847,0.071,-0.7646,1,0,1,0,4,0,41.0,16,0,1,0,18,10,3,0,15,0,29,5,1,2,2,59,44,29,1,5,10,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,1,11,29,2,2,4,3,1,10,6,4,0,2,11,0,35,6,35,26,8,55,0,1,0,1,34,17,0,7,29,171,46,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09368046662767793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07186719229008087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08696704933221669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11179724485646382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10895321089477944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11887770849468575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06980177809853355,0.09559516441605607,0.0,0.0,0.0949799138338068,0.0,0.09962731839477848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11576915649947535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18018406750102264,0.08864081110903699,0.0845233241750706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12194251359094906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18786953366187736,0.11692116303097375,0.0,0.058079908453315635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11482349593865936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18704998982158186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0705433674652609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130046304834465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.44929176571767293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1035456453868758,0.0,0.0,0.1108951855698596,0.0,0.07161266725046565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07326639676285167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11914025819038827,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11346261496292895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08742100929894618,0.2375813580747469,0.21151608035039934,0.0,0.0,0.08135894973673506,0.0,0.0,0.14960412802722114,0.0,0.2531926697733602,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992636131744565,0.09960376861963713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21063071277113407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2152528483838344,0.0,0.10323568243168754,0.0,0.12712209463029625,0.09127507289622334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08388522875051707,0.1695429992773607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10769869938798746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1361111230932703
divorce,carpediemok,2018/04/12,My Parents My parents recently decided to get a divorce; they have been divorced for about a year now. Well my dad is at our house... with my mom... in the bedroom... what the hell does this mean?,0.5902631578947393,3.051872236842108,1.9687368421052616,94.48415789473684,89.78947368421049,5.145263157894737,26.02105263157895,6.742157984588678,1.135720000000001,147,7,31,2,5,47,32,38,0.113,0.835,0.052000000000000005,-0.5423,2,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,1,0,1,0,3,2,1,0,4,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,5,0,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,6,1,6,4,0,5,1,0,0,0,8,2,1,0,3,23,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25201074760818426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15045617684717738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3322869705025828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31369154347793826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3372753615908875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6395290981655952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2843426971869902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.258926045597095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1854478451054493
divorce,buttcoinage,2018/04/12,Bought house during marriage with my own cash. Does partner get half in divorce if partner is on titlte though it wasnall my money? No mortgage. State of Virginia. 360k home. ,2.789032258064516,5.791547258064518,2.4344516129032283,88.65167741935484,92.54838709677419,2.4800000000000004,28.780645161290327,3.1291,0.8751883870967747,139,7,21,0,5,41,29,31,0.068,0.932,0.0,-0.29600000000000004,1,0,0,0,1,0,5.0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,3,2,0,1,1,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,3,0,1,0,0,1,1,0,2,0,4,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,4,2,0,1,0,13,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4199848533269433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2507405575556585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4814030479269396,0.0,0.0,0.5537680273301542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.471523035626199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sooper_gud_designer,2018/04/12,"How much time is healthy before getting involved again? Hey folks, it's been 8 months since I received that dandy little packet that says YOU ARE BEING SUED FOR DIVORCE in bold letters on my doorstep. No kids, no house, assets were split cleanly and fairly. It hurt like hell but I had a great support system and kept busy to keep myself from wallowing too much. I didn't want the divorce. She wanted to do her own thing. It fuckin sucked but I'm on the other side of the worst grief. The decree was signed by a judge without the need for any hearings to dispute financial assets or any of that ugliness, which I am so grateful for.

I met somebody. A brilliant, mature, deeply kind woman with a lot of shared interests and a shocking alignment with a lot of my worldviews. I'm not interested in bullshit at this point in my life, so pretty early on (before any decision to date happened) I sat her down and told her everything that happened to me, and how it's affected me. I told her that I still have trust issues to work through. That I might have some other things I can't clearly see right now that I may need to grieve still.

Everyone else who is close to me and knows what I've been through has met her and thinks she's wonderful. I have asked point blank to multiple people if I'm making a mistake, and the response is always an emphatic no. I have no interest in hurting this person, so I guess I'm just curious about a few things from a larger group of people who have been through divorce before.

Are there common things to watch out for with my own emotional health with a new relationship after divorce? Same question, but her emotional health? Dealing with the reality that I lived with another person for years within the context of this relationship? 

To be clear, I've already processed those questions and discussed them with her ad nauseum, but I'm still feeling the need for outside input. Any thoughts you may have are appreciated!",5.424813895781639,6.725483301075273,5.469569892473121,81.33204714640199,68.13978494623656,8.088668320926388,31.24317617866005,8.384062270229773,2.3616816377171213,1556,63,284,22,26,488,209,372,0.136,0.6709999999999999,0.193,0.9813,0,0,0,0,4,0,36.0,0,2,1,1,14,20,3,0,20,0,28,4,0,4,2,58,60,20,2,7,9,0,1,1,0,3,3,2,1,4,26,18,0,2,8,0,0,1,8,10,0,0,14,5,35,10,50,41,10,32,1,4,2,1,41,17,3,12,14,202,61,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10593211815830207,0.0,0.07987496342181484,0.0,0.0,0.2611177150482382,0.10065841345763336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897417300622709,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2450522856724349,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0989659278784022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08019093587205192,0.2159613769730307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09172668563019372,0.08627350424257918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048537612035043816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501530697015774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10583407567897568,0.10574856496540344,0.0,0.169774918678383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20407494457747832,0.10819257426140223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11076455577805458,0.20552780796065334,0.0,0.0,0.10019312901581616,0.0,0.08532416147370875,0.0,0.09996331132137078,0.05275596729981688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06780362645776948,0.04689797544371628,0.09621152633387876,0.08476474244794382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16322187459044984,0.0,0.0,0.06407695339615871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183480269085002,0.0,0.0,0.07662174965300775,0.0,0.14113373954817918,0.21353571378183966,0.0,0.09271191154904583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13310074808066458,0.1676370734999607,0.0,0.0,0.18149131927927456,0.0,0.0,0.09766073308830467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2150712134103948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061239476486908,0.0,0.08197862399302848,0.0,0.07633853546482759,0.0,0.0,0.07649504388294412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0794074927235686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22998356166234935,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893321571149968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25509744054831784,0.06150928358781325,0.0,0.07620876668258962,0.055975059423295365,0.0,0.0,0.18345337126038747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11323987304466915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09253509803096713,0.10410174420226392,0.06988500757941253,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061817194192219774
divorce,SweetiDew,2018/04/12,"Know About Your Right to Seek Divorce in India All Hindus, are governed by the Hindu #MarriageAct 1955. This Act applies to Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains as well. While as Muslims, Christians and Paris are governed by their own religious laws.

https://www.lawzgrid.com/legal-blog/blog-details/Know-About-Your-Right-to-Seek-Divorce-in-India

",16.14825581395349,21.64866283720931,7.811802325581392,58.202819767441866,48.534883720930225,7.090697674418602,34.00581395348837,8.07648339933343,3.0833302325581395,294,10,29,3,4,70,36,43,0.0,0.952,0.048,0.2732,0,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,0,1,1,0,2,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,1,5,3,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,2,1,8,3,2,4,3,0,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,20,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4948420936855033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7689456948751208,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4047886123027245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BlondeGirl12,2018/04/12,"Is there light at the end of this cold dark tunnel? 24/28 married 1year, 7 months. Together 3years . 

He told me yesterday he didn’t want to try anymore. He has lost all feelings for me, they’ve been gone for awhile. We’ve been separated for a month. More like he kicked me and our pets out a month ago. I wish I could say there was a simple reason, there isn’t. 

He cheated on me before we even got married, 3 times. You would think I would have called it off. To the outside world we were a perfect Christian couple. Until you lifted back the curtain and saw the abuse. I didn’t even see it at first. 

I wanted to try, all I needed was a short break. I was exhausted, stressed, and emotionally unstable. Still am, just add alone on top of it. I asked for some time and was given a swift kick in the ass on the way out the door. Ive been financially cut off. I don’t have income. I was a stay at home wife... 

I don’t know what to do with my life. I tried to be nice and honest. Told him I needed help. Told him how much I was struggling mentally. Nope, I’m just a lazy head case... that hurt. 

He’s still manipulating me. I don’t know how to stop it. We only talk when needed but in the few words spoken I can feel my heart ripping even more. Why do I still love him? Why do I allow him to continue to push me further under ground. Why can’t I be as strong as everyone says I am. 

Today I move my last load of things out of our apartment. The apartment I fell in love with. The apartment that was my happy place. The apartment that now resembles a broken marriage, screaming matches, and buckets of tears. 

I keep looking for the light, everyone says it’s there... I just can’t see it.",0.7825609471142592,2.9201132363112414,2.3499883168471065,94.91825142145026,83.78386167146974,5.249910429161152,19.464833709790486,6.5153245180268975,-0.025494212944932933,1291,35,292,13,37,420,185,347,0.1,0.779,0.121,0.9014,1,1,0,0,1,0,57.0,5,2,0,5,19,16,2,2,21,0,35,7,3,5,3,45,62,13,0,9,4,1,2,1,0,2,2,4,4,0,12,15,0,2,6,0,0,4,9,8,0,1,21,13,46,8,38,36,7,52,1,2,4,3,31,25,1,1,21,185,58,0,0.0,0.11894788565177225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899128750090962,0.0,0.0,0.10397564468616048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09956170528840064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09385279596869517,0.0,0.0,0.0771951096110951,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08542604112534477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10251126851309872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08015469604074786,0.1110816348118879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11292728051991055,0.08891735101887628,0.0,0.0,0.1989235427550496,0.0,0.0,0.19185736458081767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152223711247177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08539322732042856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08029250614315324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1068689548051222,0.0,0.0,0.10303096615428116,0.0,0.0,0.11896478521074035,0.06729051802995764,0.0,0.10070117679730244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10747151527522184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08923285869834889,0.0,0.0,0.11034543309305968,0.08183272907670422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0709097085097763,0.04904637026286232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08430384103213204,0.0,0.10958952619071123,0.0,0.18121506681813954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10117133802137243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2403953689757808,0.10670061255587236,0.07379953591781159,0.22331777829211108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07635249982139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10488808030800682,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10321950697982228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2395068043113732,0.0,0.0,0.15999855900216567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10700431819460253,0.2405191015804237,0.08393205334139879,0.11499848592635313,0.10495132338013717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08069113884703392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06669586162230429,0.06432702198566873,0.0,0.0,0.11707855036324424,0.0,0.09515970296747103,0.2877860468712265,0.0,0.2044783593152596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11842738816164675,0.07968635060802826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2717639967084399,0.0,0.1154456337992566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1426309312686838,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Cardiff-Electric,2018/04/12,"Feeling guilty. Don't know how to get out. Mid-20s, older spouse. Married about six years. I've gradually come to realize that my partner and I are incompatible, I've told them many times over the years what I needed to change and any efforts made on their part were always too little, too late, if at all. The problem: they are financially irresponsible to some extent and are not set up well to succeed if I leave, and they are currently off work with a medical condition. I also know they will be emotionally devastated if I go. But I am not happy. 

I want to try and wait until they are healthier again before I initiate this process, but feel like I am lying in the meantime and they are noticing I don't feel the same. But I feel like I cannot leave them to handle the process of their illness alone.

Plus, once we get  to the point they are healthier it just seems like there is so much to untangle. How do you decide who gets the apartment/mortgage? How do you tell people? How I handle this process? Any advice?",3.4951960784313734,5.50493636868687,4.447302436125966,83.92232620320856,74.20202020202021,7.487106357694593,26.29352346999405,8.313332769828598,1.7308225787284617,803,29,158,14,17,260,121,198,0.133,0.802,0.065,-0.8634,2,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,1,2,10,3,13,7,0,0,8,0,18,2,0,5,1,41,35,20,0,6,9,1,4,3,1,1,2,0,0,1,6,11,0,1,9,0,0,2,5,1,1,1,3,4,27,6,21,30,6,20,0,0,0,0,18,9,0,5,11,112,33,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14439974758559213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153045805463512,0.0,0.1181721179356352,0.12295700027082915,0.0,0.0,0.20097818881213966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12574192072624582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15632173088624024,0.12729131163713506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16622206727489627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29886907839300936,0.21113473253860784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2316121625864396,0.0,0.08398145334751954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15730458143887427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16242174538010082,0.0,0.16669170497762326,0.31293551761222066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2165797941796419,0.1481049901333755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13982414129054066,0.0,0.1498162234169273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14886336159266916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1086284143894154,0.10957004837110447,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1682378395547105,0.0,0.15737089625769565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1600211901332128,0.0,0.10244554749512516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13969100728051306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14139653427089474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13452482998215168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12915804224859198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08616624160844501,0.0,0.0,0.1412011677590792,0.0,0.10032655658839028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08715894508202883,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286354123702054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10757877722572964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19031887934383146
divorce,kummerspect,2018/04/12,"Am I doing the right thing? After 11 years of marriage, my husband and I had a serious conversation about getting divorced a couple of weeks ago. I left that conversation thinking it was happening and I felt good about that. I found out yesterday that he was under the impression we might still work it out. He realizes now that was a fantasy. Now that it's clear to him we're not working it out, this has suddenly gotten much harder for me. It's starting to feel like the wrong decision, like it's way too painful to be the right thing to do. But if I'm being honest with myself, it *is* over. I don't want to be in this marriage. It's just so much harder than I thought it would be for such an amicable separation. There's no bad blood between us, I'm just not the person I was when I married him and I need to move on. I don't know how to deal with being the one to cause this much pain. I feel like I just sent a wrecking ball through our lives and I'm scared that it's not worth it. Like I should have just maintained the status quo because however hard it was, I didn't feel like I feel right now.",2.0336956521739147,3.739741717391308,3.5680434782608725,89.9642391304348,77.47826086956522,6.860869565217391,24.108695652173914,7.7348632917899725,1.061321739130435,865,29,191,13,20,286,126,230,0.114,0.794,0.092,-0.4401,1,0,0,0,1,0,22.0,3,0,0,2,16,14,0,1,12,0,23,3,1,2,1,38,42,9,0,5,9,1,6,5,0,3,2,0,0,1,23,10,0,0,11,2,1,2,7,6,0,1,12,6,24,8,27,22,3,26,0,0,0,0,16,11,0,2,17,137,47,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11537696878546218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10867626259122676,0.07934294028244396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13370783582696236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14401704562593612,0.0,0.0,0.13418689792017785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2632466236031525,0.2789541114373271,0.12497182620124934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14271122589940852,0.0,0.0,0.06800203856723325,0.0,0.0,0.10917012334163384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11509804520851873,0.0,0.11659575484583892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07153128102268505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1414167476279225,0.0,0.0,0.3179424463771604,0.0,0.11493165462024305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13807677618289374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1383370618626317,0.2870427091601717,0.0965103028952293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0881982420821922,0.0,0.27699398962067084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11364870391057945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3334619545902273,0.0,0.0,0.13031058761436384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09212630674745836,0.0,0.10394412627216758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1729420162493424,0.0833998138034173,0.0,0.10333069385277822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15656371570387653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677039770399133,0.1033131427235042,0.10440467495300812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18951274603784146,0.0,0.0,0.09246031250340167,0.14230703835563555,0.0,0.08381730666917211
divorce,Yourangmilady,2018/04/13,"Any recommendations for online divorce legal paper services? I have a friendly divorce where we have sorted everything out on our own. I'm in GA and we have one child. I was told I could just do the paperwork online then maybe just have a lawyer look over before submitting to court. Does anyone have recommendations? I can't tell the difference between the different options out there (mydivorcepapers, completecase, etc)  Thanks!",5.207747336377473,8.742515589041094,5.354155251141552,71.1227701674277,78.04109589041096,8.175951293759514,28.659056316590558,8.841846274778883,3.2473421613394216,350,15,51,9,9,110,56,73,0.0,0.883,0.117,0.8048,1,0,0,0,3,0,10.0,3,0,0,0,4,2,0,0,5,0,9,0,0,0,0,10,13,2,0,1,2,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,1,2,1,7,2,8,10,2,7,0,0,1,0,9,6,0,2,1,38,7,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17681565430126414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1818049739676118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22124928200135005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2075967552099336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5433100294228995,0.0,0.0,0.2275364236209867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899797791514154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2336801407548537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2008830107808828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21834283846710195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2612149013885406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17618944350908555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2272601209457777,0.2393821908575776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24845061061587284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TheSelfishGenie,2018/04/13,"Meta-topic: How are you _not_ terrified of alimony? Me: 35M no kids never married.  High income, high assets.  I am absolutely terrified of alimony and child support and for that reason will never get married. Further, I can't understand how people would voluntarily put themselves in that situation in the first place. If you're high income and you marry someone low income, you're basically racking up a massive potential bill in the future that could literally ruin your life.",4.824166666666667,7.978447369047616,6.592857142857145,64.41880952380957,75.30952380952381,8.971428571428572,31.952380952380967,9.444778638647367,4.089938095238097,385,19,53,11,9,132,62,84,0.18,0.7709999999999999,0.049,-0.9136,3,0,0,0,0,0,12.0,0,3,0,1,2,3,0,0,3,0,6,1,0,3,2,13,9,6,0,3,2,0,0,0,0,2,1,0,0,2,3,3,0,0,2,0,1,1,5,2,0,1,0,0,6,1,7,6,0,15,0,2,0,0,5,10,0,1,4,36,9,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1662779282108404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17714506602158298,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10880677308637596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6601114528456983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14709954629540622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3212444806411238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438062296298754,0.0,0.2175864116403291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20935789571803973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412501848705276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2340919302627478,0.0,0.0,0.1764572416245518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2363299346184907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2168050456614982,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1479412743208641,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ughthefuck,2018/04/13,"State of Florida divorce question about impasse at mediation. Long story short, mediation was a failure. 
Straightforward  divorce that has taken over a year... Minimal combined assets and one minor child. 

I was agreeable to all the things my stbx requested. 

Received the electronic filing from the clerk of court in reference to impasse on mediation. Dont ask me why the stbx didnt sign... I have no idea. 

With that said, whats next? 

I know that a judge will hear the case at some point. Mediator, OC and my attorney told him it wont end well for him if it goes to trial. 

STBX and OC have delayed numerous times, OC has ignored emails from my lawyer, basically just lawyer games from their side only. At mediation the STBX showed ass to the point the mediator said to me ""no wonder why you want out"". I incurred almost 7k in additional legal fees because of the delay tactics, games, etc. 

At court can my lawyer propose my STBX be responsible for the incurred fees, additional court costs etc?



",4.2639301874595965,6.828751637362642,5.1182611506140905,77.43556237879767,73.83516483516482,8.238396897220426,29.387201034259853,9.007467420416297,2.790243309631545,786,34,137,18,17,255,114,182,0.083,0.846,0.07200000000000001,-0.6246,1,0,0,0,2,0,29.0,0,1,1,0,3,2,0,0,13,0,12,1,1,0,1,22,21,4,0,2,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,3,0,1,7,7,0,3,5,3,3,1,5,1,1,1,7,3,15,1,24,11,4,22,0,0,0,1,18,13,1,5,7,84,22,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1789067720840572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16702726739730325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10891227164739196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20939356095019035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15824379030586916,0.0,0.3985164763574712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013679702745028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20169056736680194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0981893824743022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15811253393390245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1900118111969376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12106774548918026,0.13588246649970484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3377915613451417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.200145222556073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3399018649063193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11869681023885464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10418075527836672,0.0,0.0,0.17072166580242826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10538100024338892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16064091709988906,0.0,0.3224339937783778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19375411921891805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11505413386760414
divorce,Aphexboy,2018/04/13,"An extra spark of goodness from all of this I [M, 44] served divorce papers to my wife [F, 39] of 15 years two weeks ago. It was a pretty mutual decision to get a divorce but I was the one that took the final step to make it happen.  

I have my share of problems that I have recognized with the help of a counselor and am working on fixing but she has never acknowledged a single issue on her end. Never a sorry, never an acknowledgement of her abusive behaviors. Never an attempt to see a counselor to perhaps identify some way she could improve how she interacts with me. 

While the process has taken its toll on my psyche, I checked this morning and I’ve lost 20lbs in the span of those two weeks. At first, I just couldn’t eat from nerves but I decided to make some major changes to my diet and get back to my college weight of 195. Twenty more pounds and I’m there! I have a gym membership again and am already feeling healthier from the changes. 

There’s a light at the end of this very dark tunnel and I will be a more developed, better person when I reach it. For everyone struggling, keep it up. If I can get there, you can too!",2.9479573382796183,4.698180656387667,4.1963459309065625,86.25643867377697,75.03524229074891,7.0696962670994665,26.04428472061211,7.85451343220497,1.5093841409691624,887,32,177,13,19,291,135,227,0.076,0.816,0.108,0.4997,0,0,0,0,2,0,24.0,0,1,0,5,9,6,0,1,19,0,15,3,0,3,5,32,28,13,0,4,5,1,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,11,8,3,1,5,1,1,2,5,3,0,4,5,4,23,3,30,19,8,27,0,1,1,0,13,8,0,3,16,133,34,4,0.0,0.16206204468406687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12124730029827292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15094023473986154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1051754491862911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12097087763289978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28939040565424234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10920777498662446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13996018312584,0.0,0.0,0.24229312921452986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13069924118991905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06916012519766339,0.0,0.0,0.1498359069789528,0.0,0.11634507789600028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2143858608312208,0.0,0.0,0.11472465317593278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1209541852073676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0916808136607893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14276288132338544,0.0,0.12157643201826328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14931162998911318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1826035494273437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4219729621969599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09268573144267574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11943110203543325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13915452870664982,0.0,0.13088007719328545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10899602576504036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15311411663664784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.142992252162242,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15196771698306008,0.0,0.0,0.26722855339821266,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11285790213959858,0.0,0.1085696718540712,0.21943348156614065,0.1665613054534874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09957753731564394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880818958834535
divorce,LBlackman1,2018/04/13,"HELP! How do I answer a divorce petition?? My husband served me with papers.  I went and had a consult with an attorney, spent $250 on said consult-- $250 down the drain, basically just for him to tell me he would need $3400 more to retain him.  I do NOT have the money to keep paying for consults.  My response is about to be due and I have no clue how I am supposed to respond to this thing.  The divorce is filed in Missouri.  The lawyer touched on having to either 'agree with or deny' each of the things written on the petition. How do I do this? Type something up? Copy/print and write on the actual petition? Do I only write that I agree or deny or am I supposed to be providing long answers? Who do I turn this into? I am so confused.",0.8218387222438643,3.102581172185431,2.8780911569925998,90.24855083755355,84.96026490066225,5.407245812232177,23.451889365017532,6.794906146795322,0.8414539150759643,571,22,118,7,17,192,90,151,0.077,0.866,0.057,-0.4234,0,0,1,0,2,0,23.0,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,10,0,18,0,0,3,0,26,25,10,0,2,6,1,1,0,0,1,0,1,0,0,7,8,0,2,2,0,3,1,2,1,0,0,5,2,17,0,23,17,3,11,0,0,0,0,16,8,0,4,2,91,24,7,0.0,0.0,0.29864837967818475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20513043450977894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2720201242795149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27083349006083995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22692287232516675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2327552517473079,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29111167236510843,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2356025608544785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26749019797526163,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4066353321428274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33288083676924635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2836997583749003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21740020557319775,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,left31,2018/04/13,Book recommendations Any books that helped you get through this dark time? ,8.904999999999998,12.112819500000004,4.823333333333334,81.855,62.33333333333334,8.133333333333335,28.66666666666667,8.841846274778883,1.9080666666666668,62,2,11,1,1,16,12,12,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1.0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,4,3,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5507301024413296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.423116527492503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.542829653459001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4722337617676538,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,ThAwNalone,2018/04/13,"Today, I am at a crossroad... So, this is the day. The day where one life ends and a new one begins. And I [38M] have no idea what path I'm going to head down. We've been married for almost 14 years. Known each other for about 17 years. It all started about 3 years ago when she [47F] started getting distant. She's the breadwinner. She was up for a promotion and working extra hours. She travels a lot for work. Always has. I was a stay at home dad, caring for 3 kids. She got the promotion and became even more distant. I later found out that not all of her ""business trips"" were work related. I got access to her work calendar, found PTO (paid to off) on days when she said she was working and out of town. Eventually found pics of her and another man (a higher up in the company). I stayed for the kids. I thought it was a phase, that she would eventually come back to me. 


Since then, I've been working on me.  I lost 20 lbs. I got a job, which I love. But it doesn't pay anywhere near her salary. Rental prices alone are greater than what I bring in every month. I still take care of the kids. Arranging playdates, taking them to and from practices and tournaments. I love my kids so I stayed in a loveless marriage. I asked her last week if we were ever going to fix us. It lead into a huge arguement. She threatened to leave with the kids, which terrifies me. I told her what I wanted and I didn't want to lose what we have. She said she doesn't know what she wants. Two days later, she sent me a message asking to meet on Friday, today. Communication has been cold all week. 


All week, I've been reaching out to different attorneys in the area. I have a consultation with one this afternoon, before the big talk. If she says it's over, I wanted to be prepared for whatever comes next. If she says she wants to work it out, I don't know how I can trust again. I don't know what she's decided and I don't know how I'm going to react after she says it. 


I wrote out the questions I wanted to ask the attorney. At the top I wrote 'Goal: To do what's best for the kids'. Whether or not we stay together, the goal has to be to do what's best for the kids. 


But I'm scared. I don't know what lies ahead. Today, I am at a crossroad and I'm terrified that I'm going to pick the wrong path. ",0.8191493018259912,2.8715366000000024,2.57419119226638,93.87276691729325,83.0,5.814393125671322,20.00966702470462,7.043009809895983,0.273921589688507,1755,49,399,23,49,579,216,475,0.056,0.85,0.094,0.9529,4,1,0,0,0,0,74.0,4,0,1,18,14,11,0,1,30,0,33,4,1,5,5,68,84,25,0,10,9,1,0,0,0,1,1,5,1,8,24,25,0,0,13,1,3,11,10,4,0,4,26,6,63,7,62,55,11,79,0,2,0,2,58,29,0,7,35,261,87,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06535154607242563,0.0,0.07382356191664305,0.07635544248135884,0.0,0.0,0.06134396257006885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07730564976786161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067649145893563,0.0,0.0,0.05668891757818272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06273337558275953,0.0,0.15473679385216205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15033229991886302,0.0,0.0,0.12701275143934876,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1901825586370648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770254977222003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06529725015708687,0.0,0.0,0.04869375955900503,0.06668724032370721,0.0621153344387009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2425024513798638,0.0,0.0,0.03851755166760256,0.0,0.16759534209139118,0.0,0.17689055508151272,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07566170937182143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07395080776811011,0.0,0.07260292095254893,0.0,0.0,0.08322499989553389,0.0,0.0,0.07315932289774525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20258288359377707,0.06009459481563177,0.0,0.07806267490653597,0.0,0.0,0.05207317719289712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0824778795346211,0.08047804645858568,0.06267719030190155,0.1330769013546667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058845494775946125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07120273723106238,0.07840591245031255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14987111054180158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0825873333780037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14025610141635428,0.17588395893759987,0.07381021064992646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.060984945128466014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10436392363685587,0.3143183035922063,0.058875782823387124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11086198321682443,0.059256257843719025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05852832390294532,0.0,0.0,0.20964413103878696,0.07044608384056307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07201726997759679,0.0,0.08868044452716853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2609046277795604,0.0,0.17740993710942032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3757017435569472,0.0,0.0,0.05237114855801522,0.08060521152034791,0.0,0.1424267937384195
divorce,pizzanotpineapples,2018/04/13,"Divorce was final this morning It's surreal. Married for 6 years, together for 11. No kids together, but he's been a step dad to my daughter almost her entire life. I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now, but I think I'm just relieved that it's over. 
The hearing was easy, we had a simplified uncontested divorce. About 25 other couples were in the courtroom and we went before the judge when our names were called. I was thinking how depressing it must be for this judge to sit there all day just divorcing couple after couple.
Now to do all the fun name change stuff..",3.842490079365082,5.603544062500006,4.645476190476192,83.92174603174607,72.66071428571429,7.477777777777778,28.515873015873016,8.167268648758528,1.98865753968254,453,18,86,7,9,146,81,112,0.065,0.818,0.117,0.7909999999999999,0,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,3,0,0,0,8,4,0,0,6,0,10,1,0,1,4,19,18,5,0,1,5,2,1,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,9,3,0,0,3,0,0,2,2,1,0,0,8,2,7,3,10,8,2,13,0,1,0,0,15,3,0,1,7,56,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.199735474095902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16973009955557192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2036761575403742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21100761617746475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6621129817225152,0.0,0.1286384811567256,0.0,0.17179898899259846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1008555423218125,0.0,0.0,0.2185042553704558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22481165213584128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14088809133928296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17034209626224295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283398054546836,0.0,0.0,0.18799348593702164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25561835014034656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18490613598301692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12844897768286953
divorce,icantdealOP2,2018/04/13,"How do you know it is time for divorce? I will do my best to condense this post. Background: Been married over 10 years, 2 elementary school age kids, husband works full time, I am a full time student.
The thing is I haven't been happily married in a very long time. It has gotten so bad, I do not even want my husband to touch me. I can not stand him. He isn't physically abusive but he is verbally abusive to me and the kids. He yells all the time. He's controlling and mean. He doesn't do housework or fix the broken things in the house. He works and then plays video games when he gets home and expects me to do everything while I am attending college full time and should be graduating in a year with my nursing license. I've told him over and over I do not like that he has a temper and that he kept that hidden from me before we were married. He says he never had a temper before marrying me but I am sure he is lying.  Not only that, he gaslights me all the time. He says one thing and then changes it later. One time, I recorded this. He went to his friend's house one night with my kids and didn't say when they would be back and I couldn't get in touch with him. When he got home, I talked to him about it and he said he was like ""over an hour away"" at his friends house. We started going to the friend's house and I said, it's over an hour away so we will be in the car for a while. He said it's not over an hour away, it is like 30 minutes. I played the recording of him saying ""over an hour away"" then he got mad because I recorded him. It's shit like this, all the time. He is always right about everything and will never consider another person's point of view. He knows everything. He wants to lecture me and treat me like a child even after I've expressed disinterest in what he is saying, even after my eyes have glazed over and I'm clearly not paying attention he goes on and on and on. He thinks there is a right way to do literally everything and guess what? Most of the time, my way is the wrong way. I do not even have control over how to organize my house or what artwork I would like to hang. We like different things. Not only that, he is constantly here on reddit checking out other women and saying things he finds attractive in other women and none of those things pertain to me. I am so over it, I am beyond done and ready to be done. 
The problem is, I don't have employment currently and I am going to college full time. We just bought our house some years ago. I know I could divorce him now, but I am certain a divorce during nursing school isn't the best idea. I'm already stressed and worried sick.
So, to sum up all these things, how do you know it is time for divorce?
My husband doesn't beat me, he doesn't cheat, he isn't an addict, he just isn't right for me. We dated for over 2 years before getting married and I feel like I still didn't really know him. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 
Also, I do not want to do shared custody and I have no money plus a lot of debt. ",2.4390476190476207,3.783776714285718,3.615111111111112,91.58600000000004,75.50793650793649,6.563809523809524,23.711111111111112,7.087006719466742,0.6797834920634922,2350,70,526,24,50,763,235,630,0.124,0.799,0.078,-0.9804,4,0,0,0,4,0,67.0,7,2,1,7,25,29,5,1,29,0,69,4,2,5,9,94,100,47,0,10,16,3,3,8,3,6,2,10,2,7,33,37,0,3,12,4,5,6,26,9,0,3,21,15,69,20,66,67,14,94,0,0,2,0,82,39,1,6,52,353,102,11,0.0,0.12831580094572173,0.0,0.05903057749255145,0.0,0.0,0.04799996347265916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05975494494512184,0.04330306396452018,0.04505643920601719,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056780115974229675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2034996745027734,0.04163736187728053,0.04521228707632062,0.033008825552111085,0.0,0.13823084153901638,0.0,0.11365240608919674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05728263172280924,0.0,0.0,0.058516005491544565,0.12146577544745225,0.04323369837837967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05657434749946962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11082678244015354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14306003886049684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19466309504107754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.027379442470767026,0.03868417097013948,0.0,0.0,0.049491351560779294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255065208797527,0.0,0.1131628054248151,0.0,0.06154843138415751,0.0,0.08661606029601994,0.0,0.059651404950577684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10863204575784798,0.0,0.2133040616892852,0.3748851649977023,0.0,0.12225562194260775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14879481201425146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2116363565194936,0.0,0.0,0.04792030293081679,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04603567973320813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.058984309986256665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08352634129616318,0.0,0.0,0.050815318819269435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11007861732361814,0.08236575299431363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047280958182966515,0.0,0.0,0.05118845908161726,0.0,0.05185992740028952,0.0,0.0,0.05181343344653422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034689338685643153,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13872926120649878,0.1545247545637608,0.258369514168041,0.0,0.10960368231012636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05558333495002585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03832705439654596,0.0,0.04324358939901516,0.0,0.06202768022453475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05103494279638051,0.0,0.0,0.043523043951749864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2518200722886259,0.03469659550195271,0.0,0.0,0.3788977302397272,0.0,0.0,0.051741843221145487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04467872824364105,0.09581573318393724,0.12894324913826327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0501968141372427,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07884246728941555,0.05499110079336459,0.0,0.07693201978787198,0.059203606359898624,0.0,0.1394811356494528
divorce,ThisGirl86,2018/04/13,"Is this OK? Blindsided/Codependency Divorce My soon to be ex husband (36) and I (32) are coming up on our final weeks of marriage and I blindsided him with this divorce. He didn't see it coming and I knew he didn't when I sat him down and asked for separation only 2 months ago. My reasoning wasn't to hurt him but more so to prevent a long drawn out thing. I knew what I needed to do and I did it while I still had the courage built up. He is a bipolar alcoholic who hasn't taken meds in years and even though he only drinks occasionally, when its bad its real bad. Iv had to call 911 kind of bad. He dosnt remember the bad times because he is drunk during bad times. So he dosnt understand why I want a divorce and thinks im making a terrible mistake because im his best friend. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to hear that coming from him. Its like im punishing a child who dosnt know what he did wrong. Then he goes into a fit of rage, which I can now safely remove myself from unlike the past. But it still gives me terrible anxiety knowing that Iv caused this rage. I know he has every right to be mad, we were together for 12 years. I guess Im just looking for reassurance that im not such a terrible person and it is OK to do what I feel i need to do. I have a terrible time in my head with codependency and now that iv recognized my codependency I want to make sure what im doing is actually ok? I fight with feeling like im ruining his life and leaving him stranded, not physically but emotionally stranded with noone who understands him like i did. 
Oh and also, just some background- we have been through 3 counselors who he says are crazy for ""siding"" with me. Iv been to Al Anon. And iv read ""Codependency no more""- great book :)
",2.2977528089887653,4.216731008426969,4.095379213483149,85.51559691011236,77.39887640449437,7.371348314606742,24.327247191011228,8.278499904357787,1.4836112359550562,1373,47,286,26,32,463,182,356,0.194,0.652,0.153,-0.9726,0,0,2,0,4,0,37.0,3,0,0,1,15,32,5,0,12,3,29,12,2,4,1,58,56,23,0,5,7,2,2,3,1,0,8,2,0,2,25,25,3,2,12,4,0,4,7,18,0,1,15,6,37,14,35,39,5,38,0,2,2,0,42,12,0,2,24,179,62,2,0.0,0.0,0.07974343575532672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07243667363657823,0.08732999876927358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06534858955983383,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0625128357278768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07639381946682418,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3411489766212198,0.09962713930009384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08575633867496903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08344159872143743,0.0,0.0,0.08394527060647858,0.0,0.21117437405764625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08005097939525009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09191997097023084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053972923079809575,0.0,0.06884960615280028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0826365519938821,0.05837822499722727,0.0,0.08951634111584175,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06313390146228923,0.0,0.0,0.07838983375673432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09009263878964363,0.09001984667820802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08386461955281539,0.0,0.09210034150268064,0.09683434819917563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08747911504415759,0.0,0.6178742746330621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08509507397608443,0.1347276179845214,0.0,0.0,0.08652588722440265,0.0,0.0,0.05771872232925115,0.11976754181986925,0.0,0.0,0.07231645803111353,0.06862120990318407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10909268645330562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09076851820653524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06522526483679818,0.0,0.0,0.12118337631816703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12429803559910048,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07800756691916429,0.0,0.07135162382102772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08173853113362797,0.09301117312750236,0.0,0.08401808705093149,0.0,0.0,0.092568771375849,0.06978537406306387,0.0,0.06498417506120252,0.0,0.0,0.06511740489564337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13051767316260093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0770167564295868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.054288756763923175,0.0523605807764187,0.08028596530717187,0.0,0.14294850058921768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17013934502539552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09639692049415388,0.0,0.06554798106861869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07373635662757122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0893440744896226,0.0,0.10524538739757276
divorce,scareddivorceetobe,2018/04/13,"Husband of 10 years wants a divorce, I'm feeling blindsided We have 3 kids who are going to be devastated.  He doesn't love me anymore.  I knew things weren't great, but I never in a million years expected this.

Is there any point to counseling if he has no interest in saving our marriage?  

",3.1926315789473665,5.226379842105263,4.796350877192981,80.97978947368422,75.14035087719299,8.068771929824562,30.69824561403509,8.841846274778883,2.7645887719298248,229,11,43,5,5,77,49,57,0.166,0.743,0.091,-0.5237,0,0,0,0,1,0,6.0,2,0,0,0,1,4,0,0,2,0,7,1,0,0,1,9,13,2,0,3,2,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,3,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,2,1,5,4,5,10,0,7,0,0,0,1,10,3,0,1,3,28,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2405601763830777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3508220945913482,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17886517596412796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2010426439763618,0.0,0.0,0.39000745557184535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31927059268669195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2728315916134777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33440537552003474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23501387212215136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20864922035787964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4556031025513584
divorce,autoroutescenic13,2018/04/14,"When to rebound? I have been separated from my stbxw for 10 weeks after 8 years of marriage. I had dinner with a woman last night that invited me back to her place for sex. I couldn’t do it. The only reason I couldn’t do it is because I still hold a flame for my stbxw. She wants the divorce, not me. And she refuses counseling or anything, and she has an attorney and has already filed for divorce. I keep imagining that she’ll wake up any day and realize that this is all a huge mistake. Would just sleeping with someone else help dispel that fantasy? Or will it do more harm than good?  ",2.9108474576271206,4.7129109322033935,4.112000000000002,86.59867796610172,75.27118644067797,7.4318644067796615,27.0542372881356,8.238735603445708,1.7833837288135594,462,18,94,8,10,151,83,118,0.054000000000000006,0.87,0.076,0.3634,0,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,0,0,6,0,15,4,2,1,1,22,17,7,0,5,4,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,8,6,1,3,3,1,0,0,3,2,0,0,2,0,15,1,13,10,2,12,0,0,0,1,11,3,0,2,9,69,23,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28572184465402595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17607274477400758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21306700029428244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19909153716114356,0.0,0.15783367443939156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16698033565411016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2162923060563733,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21716767294826686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17354690910405016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2301377262502649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2110522791411492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24297648743644915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969183881222398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27051362765862524,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26621026141628235,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2591044372570718,0.0,0.2193799153110565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2067718101639145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15271622043071012,0.0,0.20768796086738625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839275278969633,0.0,0.0,0.16673434896810788
divorce,atreich,2018/04/14,"Emotions are strange, but I find it hilarious and somewhat flattering that my ex has named his car after me. Maybe he’ll treat her better! My ex posted on Facebook (long story, keep a second account to keep tabs for my own safety) -

“A car is like a woman [in my opinion]. You can pour your heart and soul into it and it’ll still be a pain in your ass. Henceforth, my [insert type of car here] shall now be known as atreich.*”


I can’t explain why I’m enjoying this so much, and maybe I find it hilarious because of the actual circumstances of our marriage, but my goodness. Those of you that are just starting out in the divorce process - the earlier you realize that you cannot control the actions of those around you or change anything about anyone aside from yourself, the easier this might be on you. My ex was an alcoholic and suffers from diagnosed mental disorders that put my safety in danger, but I don’t enjoy making him out to be a terrible villain. He’s just a human who has his flaws, as we all do. He made some choices that weren’t great. He did some things that he shouldn’t have and it ended our time together. As painful as everything was, I feel that I was able to move on faster because I didn’t dwell on my anger or frustration or bitterness. It still comes occasionally, but my daily life isn’t constantly infected with him anymore. 

All this to say - there’s hope. Go to therapy. Talk about it. Experience your emotions. It does get better - I promise. But you also have to let it get better. 
*name changed for clarity. ",3.855413870246085,5.631697466442957,4.853842281879196,82.3783920581656,72.65771812080538,8.053914988814316,28.85961968680089,8.72156446121922,2.3033485458612977,1207,49,230,23,24,394,170,298,0.138,0.677,0.185,0.9433,1,0,1,0,1,0,42.0,3,10,0,4,12,22,5,1,12,0,28,8,2,3,2,45,42,20,0,2,10,3,1,1,0,5,6,1,0,2,23,13,1,3,6,0,1,8,7,10,0,1,7,3,37,12,35,25,7,31,1,1,0,1,37,12,1,9,11,165,60,1,0.11826726121100725,0.0,0.1154117866844119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12639173486372016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0945782860616579,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728934376023027,0.08269521888952662,0.0,0.09732387895293007,0.10528293659324704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.144189249434397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3137933449622896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25022216136407205,0.10187677343430432,0.0,0.12780489415481872,0.13264678991748494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003878062288145,0.0,0.0,0.13554452754280946,0.0,0.10349647727476154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26606950104842897,0.10474968985004993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10629098845942787,0.11568807517253905,0.0,0.0,0.05979948080188008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161882683095415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1235795253631135,0.0,0.06721401001631956,0.09919696755159037,0.0,0.13039007300524513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14014727396970475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11746607578052395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21024275163350464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12093628744035435,0.08353566417177309,0.05777940991758604,0.0,0.0,0.10466280451807083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11190734214059968,0.07894431521868125,0.0,0.2376307201735821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11918558254399128,0.12546287452456525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12569938199874214,0.08694004499557438,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2516894087808404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11326734414959867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11889126315379685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09405087301527516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08371017620340372,0.0,0.18889677515031936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09505874467717514,0.0,0.0,0.13524892028880425,0.0,0.0785715131992077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896259109225923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10671780794720168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TWasGoodWoman,2018/04/14,"A little different: Dating a divorced woman. There was a woman in my life for ten years that I had feelings for: she was one of my own people, very strong personality, a cynical sense of humor and looked amazing in a flowing summer dress. We would see each other at parties sometimes, I would be her guest and we had a lot of mutual friends. Her husband was one of my drinking buddies and she was totally off limits except in fantasies while I lived with a lover of my own. 
So she gets divorced, three years later I break up with mine. Random bedmates come and go and then her and I go to dinner. Wake up naked and in love of course. Half a year passes of relative bliss with some hiccups. Our schedules are different. I'm surprised by her hunger for sex and can't keep up. She has a kid and set up a lot of boundaries but then implied that I should break them when passion calls.
The hiccups get stronger and the bile that comes up tastes like what I imagine her past conflicts were. She yells a lot. I am mostly absorbent of this, but it became annoying and gross. So I threw a pillow at her and it did not land well. Advice? Perspective? Use imagination. This is not a troll.",2.2225,4.644596883116886,3.18193181818182,89.39289772727275,80.16883116883116,5.581601731601732,23.910714285714285,6.816661863887847,0.8626116883116892,924,33,181,10,24,294,141,231,0.071,0.802,0.127,0.8808,2,0,1,0,2,0,26.0,3,0,1,2,5,13,2,0,15,0,17,12,1,1,1,42,31,20,0,3,5,1,1,1,3,3,3,1,1,4,9,20,4,3,3,2,0,7,3,3,1,5,9,5,29,10,30,18,9,36,0,0,2,4,27,14,0,6,13,138,38,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15758068196210948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16466373373537485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2778211462418449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33696320762327425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15797268219177724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0815375268620911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1245885038081243,0.0,0.16850261463444913,0.0,0.18329470670060444,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433346391891907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1139021839322462,0.07878312863349855,0.16162414226780453,0.1423948804757307,0.0,0.1354171637317176,0.0,0.0,0.4112905670232873,0.14554277760969975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2185468952128232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15394020998331642,0.11179686604849896,0.14080536526721454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12850275145219686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15948953095640142,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13927622414918506,0.0,0.13305577745856464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14499144067838785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22910790227763184,0.0,0.0,0.3115370279247405
divorce,throwawayFIREAWAY413,2018/04/14,"She doesn't want me anymore. I don't know if I'll be OK. After twenty years of marriage, most of which seemed reasonably happy to me, a month ago my wife blindsided me by telling me that she doesn't love me anymore.  We have had a terrible month of talking and talking, most of which was me begging and crying, her telling me about what a bad spouse I am for her after NEVER saying anything about it for years.  We were not getting anywhere.  It was miserable.

Last night she told me she wants a divorce.  We have two little girls.  This is going to really hurt them.  I built my life around this person, I tied my soul to hers, and she cut my fucking throat.   I never cheated, I don't drink, I work hard, and I have never been unkind or abusive to her.  She just doesn't like me anymore.  It kills me to see that my pain doesn't move her heart.  We just moved and we live far away from any friends or family. 

I am a grown man and I can't sleep and I can't stop crying.  Sorry for the sobfest.

 ",1.5547445820433443,3.435313612745098,2.7689370485036133,94.3341640866873,79.53921568627452,5.471207430340559,21.521155830753354,6.339386263674448,0.17907254901960812,763,22,169,6,19,245,114,204,0.182,0.7290000000000001,0.08900000000000001,-0.9691,0,0,1,0,1,0,25.0,5,0,1,1,5,15,4,1,6,1,20,8,3,1,3,30,30,10,1,3,6,2,1,1,1,0,2,1,0,3,10,13,1,1,3,1,0,4,12,10,0,1,6,3,43,5,20,23,2,21,1,2,1,2,32,4,1,6,14,118,53,1,0.0,0.14574486186292498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10903954141559533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08364994296283286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3659738944812173,0.0,0.0,0.10122544772477307,0.10950357208414037,0.0,0.0,0.1155704587079764,0.0,0.1027068916825393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2702379441734457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12050142068809205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596138983174725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950359992752228,0.11371930110429253,0.06426682186879433,0.0,0.0699085191679415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13094474920812216,0.11019138198227127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14576556861087478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13168305650965612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13609059025447606,0.0,0.06760221005707721,0.10026827908540233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0868844840315465,0.06009570005948429,0.12328675116828845,0.1086186874715846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11101990058995624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19636829272966025,0.2614769645115318,0.0,0.0,0.2846150275586317,0.0,0.0,0.1154350682807603,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13088963040481533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.107406206692161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07880234293193414,0.12647314161072926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09782123187343823,0.0,0.0,0.09802178387729188,0.1119822446565113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.123097254068425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13769785406555454,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284054611887557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19773901520624196,0.21502955979735205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11753981563017167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12016135140333965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14510710496306362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08955159395286601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15842677751208933
divorce,throwaway49416,2018/04/14,"For those that have jumped ship, or are in the process, how did you do it? How do you get the words out? (Crosspost from r/deadbedrooms) I’m really struggling right now. I don’t see things getting better. I would love it if he woke up one day and wanted to put forth the effort.

But that’s not going to happen.

I’ve been on this sub for 3 years, and it hasn’t improved. And I realize that I’m choosing to stay. I’m choosing to allow myself to be unhappy. I’m allowing myself to continue thinking that I don’t deserve better.

But I do deserve better. I’m not perfect, but I’m worth so much more than this.

So where do I go from here? I finally manage to get the courage to talk to him, and it’s me talking at him. He shuts down and won’t respond. Or he changes the subject.

How do I get him to hear me? How do I tell him that I’m ready to walk away if it doesn’t get better?",-0.4037129186602897,1.6312981789473715,1.9381818181818176,96.5490909090909,88.26315789473685,4.7177033492822975,20.215311004784688,6.11248444174946,-0.03742105263157925,674,22,158,6,22,228,102,190,0.032,0.8220000000000001,0.145,0.9624,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,2,0,6,9,8,0,1,5,0,17,1,0,6,1,29,38,18,0,4,9,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,14,6,0,0,4,0,1,5,7,1,0,1,3,2,19,7,23,32,2,21,0,0,1,1,15,10,0,4,5,104,33,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15122934692775214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5694321732617305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702767339930132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380734512808706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17632629400810268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42048070108028224,0.0,0.18295712964448704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14233839973605675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18141617152373066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14527472893939702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11832578564863773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10907219679334243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16181153483585228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10311654891052767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1374608951966157,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12826608569507228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17156435824032507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16827270848490214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2587507436250482,0.14068811468718004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1069361768719101,0.1031381203178324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0949397145406776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1143429751303531,0.0,0.0,0.10365442158346294
divorce,Katrakit,2018/04/14,"I couldnt hold it in anymore Married for almost 6 years, one two year old, stay at home mom.
My husband and I were fighting he was drunk again he has become a alcoholic. 
I really couldn't keep the thought of divorce at bay anymore I've been wanting this since last year. I left for my mom's last year for a break and so I can get a break and enjoy my birthday with family. I was just tired of being taken for granted, verbally abused and no emotional support what so ever. Last night was the straw on the camels back after I said "" hey do you want to use my new pillow"" his response "" are you going to stop being a bitch"". My husband and i are poly and have a open relationship. I messaged my ex because sex needs after I had turned down my husband for sex. I don't find my husband attractive anymore and sex is just a fumble everytime . So as I'm messaging my ex my husband comes in to our room freaking out on me he was drunk again. Our mini fight starts I'm in bed still husband goes out to smoke cussing me out saying I'm quitting my job so I can be a stay at home dad and that he wants the easy life. Then he comes in lays down the the comment about are you going to stop being a bitch comment comes in. I have to say before this little fight we were having issues . Hubby hasn't touched our car much since getting it I've asked if he wanted help from me even. This week my MIL tells me her front axle broke and that we figure out a way to our appointment. I have general anxiety I wasn't  worried about the appointment . More worried about missing my sisters graduation. Also my nieces adoption is coming up I'm beating myself up for not being able to take custody of her. While fighting my husband says I'll fight tooth and nail for custody. Saying I wouldn't get custody of my son because of not having a job . I would be going to my moms with my son while working on becoming a cna with the fineancal help of family and the help of wic checks and food stamps. My husband may have a job but he drinks heavily and for a while now. I don't get help with my son it's rare when my husband keeps a eye and when he does just pulls him into his lap while playing video games.  That's the extent doesn't even play with my sons toy with him or goes outside. Sorry I feel like I'm rambling haven't gotten much sleep since our fight and getting up with my son. If you have questions ask away.

TLDR after years of trying to fix my marriage my alcoholic husband says are you going to stop being a bitch. I said I wanted a divorce.

Edit forgot to include that my ex sent out messages to my hubby. Thinking it was being a light hearted thing since they have a ongoing joke "" sounds like its pretty weird in here"". Ahh vagina jokes my ex and husband are good friends and Co workers. I know and understand why my husband was upset about getting turned down.",3.225094991364422,4.647276552677031,4.183094991364424,87.98880483592403,73.62867012089811,6.5283592400690855,26.16545768566494,6.937597516519254,1.0942168566493955,2240,77,456,20,45,724,262,579,0.093,0.82,0.087,0.1906,3,0,4,0,11,0,41.0,7,5,1,4,23,25,9,1,28,0,48,16,5,1,1,77,95,35,0,12,9,26,2,2,1,3,4,8,5,0,14,38,6,7,8,10,1,12,12,14,0,2,18,12,75,11,70,64,4,78,0,2,1,4,87,29,3,6,34,289,89,7,0.06838548289129225,0.08102561474926555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14616656771484,0.06847818285309186,0.0,0.0,0.05468784596117195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0523147072325407,0.0,0.20346006990224305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1278623902834815,0.0,0.06425041228880868,0.05258421515946237,0.0,0.08337431127885547,0.15105278615781936,0.058191009111677926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23563215298548776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059844596919806724,0.0,0.0,0.06699173860822219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07692446381834601,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033593298169766,0.061858584417956525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12893549423558368,0.0,0.034577754903692005,0.04885460264160476,0.0,0.0,0.06250309245515984,0.0,0.0826919973607254,0.0,0.052834454444287485,0.0,0.2143715538238912,0.0,0.1554601834847722,0.0573584985219561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08103712648944386,0.18334939071168327,0.0,0.13719243030284728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07137667703226873,0.20358611914947816,0.12156831863383932,0.0,0.0,0.03758287296217232,0.16722988753565796,0.0,0.0,0.07430102725461148,0.0,0.04830268896511695,0.06681938531303865,0.06854021936804508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2402767531578074,0.0,0.0,0.10054239691921912,0.05070696905458583,0.0,0.06604712551332632,0.0,0.06417514313382007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07175906061798608,0.0,0.04633977303734752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06957262112532837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07660739159123686,0.07273637879036426,0.0,0.0,0.04380949145052943,0.0,0.0,0.07342041607271499,0.0,0.0,0.13010050869525486,0.2719144039372831,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22627671249503264,0.0,0.06843487006918553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07655194929485454,0.048403596768605436,0.14577965156818254,0.05461273497411544,0.17151997738903044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07760303558040185,0.0,0.0,0.05141737245589759,0.0,0.059771926259159926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04543227615663495,0.04381865615196558,0.0,0.0542904346831214,0.0,0.07859905267261412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04642925394219555,0.14876753599994702,0.06680267998548789,0.07119169943342214,0.0,0.059063100487307126,0.0,0.0,0.20167764808025296,0.05428121323688952,0.05485470942665513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170726162795715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04978544601203108,0.1388975547728832,0.0,0.04857908497061696,0.0,0.0,0.22019004437932047
divorce,VaJayBalls,2018/04/14,"Divorcing my best friend Perhaps I married too young, maybe it was resentment, or other things. I left my State and  drove across the US to be with him at 22. Shortly after we moved to Europe. I left all my friends and family, and then once overseas I only had him. We have since returned to the states, and when I look in his eyes I notice the love is not for me. He was my best friend, I have no one in this state and I have never felt more alone. I know this divorce is the right thing to do, and by no means was it a hateful marriage, it was filled with beautiful memories and struggles we endured together. I can't look at him, I can't talk to him. Nothing sucks more than losing a husband and a best friend in a matter of days. ",2.547560706401768,3.926534788079472,3.6181622516556295,91.53443984547462,75.29139072847683,6.622737306843268,24.50386313465784,7.1686216300943375,0.8369465783664456,567,18,125,6,12,183,92,151,0.093,0.6809999999999999,0.226,0.9741,0,1,0,0,1,0,17.0,4,0,0,4,2,13,3,1,8,0,14,2,1,0,2,21,23,11,0,0,2,1,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,8,13,0,0,3,0,0,3,6,5,0,1,7,4,25,8,18,15,6,23,0,1,3,1,20,10,1,1,7,96,33,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14899270762928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4529078701535093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0927760138451113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561579568099275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13812550286957892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4445749633993808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14202923407744042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07906017270046715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31260260770826204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2416076875856604,0.16093944572955454,0.0,0.0,0.12983676874498504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1445239256081914,0.15670269920717042,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15289747150294128,0.0,0.0,0.11095156609493104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1380348942778327,0.16378241249436132,0.0,0.15320325744615512,0.09748138368561238,0.10940990764702796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12285329039276263,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900018916832968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15039081399188606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11562699413692586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19114470587355875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17304253782691018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Irishregrets79,2018/04/14,"Appeal an Annulment Hi All,

I was married in LV back in 2014. Turns out that was a mistake. I'm Irish and the spouse was from South America so we ended up going to LV to be married so she could get a visa to stay in Ireland. Turns out thats really all she wanted and also was a racist and addicted to Nasal sprays. 

Fast forward 2 years and i'd had enough. So I left her and applied through a paralegal for an annulment on 4 different grounds ( The paralegal said the more the better.

Now here's the issue, well two issues........ 


A) I told her i was applying and she asked to wait until her Irish citizenship was approved, until then she refused to sign or accept any papers. So I pushed ahead and went via publication in the Nevada Legal news... I never actually got to serve her with anything. 

B) In order to apply you need to provide proof that you were together and so on. I only had stuff from our old address and used that instead of our most recent address. I didn't have any documents for that place.


So I told I small lie saying I couldn't trace her but she had told me she wouldn't sign anything.


I got a decree of annulment from the court and sent it too her. In the meantime she has been trying to tie me up in court over here in order to take me for every penny she can get.  But no she says she will be appealing the decision because she wan't aware of it.. Thats what her solicitor here is saying anyway.


Can an Annulment be appealed? The grounds for the annulment are not affected.

Can't find anything online about it. ",2.2428428619566425,4.349132084690556,3.8747770414467055,86.13755700325736,78.31596091205212,6.970639110412222,23.94125575648657,7.990435384864732,1.3944274738852074,1198,41,240,21,29,399,167,307,0.03,0.934,0.036000000000000004,-0.0887,1,0,0,0,0,0,37.0,3,2,0,3,18,4,0,0,20,0,26,2,1,2,4,39,46,23,0,6,4,1,0,0,0,2,1,4,2,0,11,14,0,2,3,0,1,5,7,1,1,1,20,5,38,3,42,19,5,41,0,0,0,0,36,22,0,2,13,176,49,2,0.0,0.0,0.12553060622469414,0.14023270349281705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10287051198225676,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1749543762229292,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3175704806955432,0.0,0.120257703705094,0.0,0.0,0.09891347959617314,0.0,0.07841557787367741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11376847476333507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10270572749111613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439769751860867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11393370163033327,0.1329158258347343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10838174599362092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11757137273063725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1344144578422584,0.0,0.07310705142459126,0.0,0.20576461923890849,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2685260383126021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.139763864898176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09538228789294796,0.09921235019513967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1349823013760521,0.0,0.0,0.09783380671713426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13439769751860867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08240779529692935,0.0,0.12701296246087534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12236270878300022,0.30689057274157505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1371093259374424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14725794406421613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0967185914229638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.368752883682272,0.0,0.08733569662588182,0.2798390085709166,0.12565910708520306,0.0,0.0,0.11110057965535122,0.0,0.0,0.07587310324170768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11565960524014975,0.11924726560705293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08283764774637005
divorce,ThrowItAwaySally,2018/04/14,"Does the non-custodian, child-support-paying parent have an absolute right to have support payments reviewed and adjusted? Acrimonious divorce; I am the non-custodial parent paying child support. In Virginia, there are simple guidelines for calculating support numbers. It's a simple worksheet; you start with mom's income, dad's income, a few other things, then crunch the numbers, and out comes a monthly payment amount. It can be done in five minutes.

It's been more than three years since child support numbers were calculated. Plus, my income has changed considerably, and so has my ex-spouse's income. It's obvious to everyone that I'm overpaying. With a re-calculation, child support will certainly go down by a significant amount. I need this because I can no longer afford the high payments.

The ex-spouse has an expensive, nasty lawyer who knows every trick in the book. My lawyer filed a motion to have child support re-calculated. But the other lawyer objected to EVERYTHING, and threw down a half-dozen obstacles. A hearing which should have lasted five minutes suddenly became a five-*MONTH* ordeal. I feel like the opposing lawyer hijacked my hearing to make it his own.

My lawyer, of course, wants money to fight. But the whole purpose of the hearing was *reduce* my liabilities, not increase them. The other lawyer promises an long, ugly fight.

So, I'm just wondering, at some BASIC level, don't I have some fundamental right as a payor of child support to insist on a timely hearing? The other lawyer can argue *afterwards* for all I care. I just want my five minutes. If I fall behind on child support payments, serious question: do I have an affirmative defense? I feel like once I fall behind on payments, *this very same judge* will demand to know why. Well, DUH!

Any thoughts? Legal or otherwise?",4.941625000000002,7.9202919125000015,5.272499999999997,75.0725,73.625,7.5,31.25,8.472884824447931,2.98790625,1452,68,221,28,32,460,180,320,0.092,0.7709999999999999,0.13699999999999998,0.9259,7,0,0,0,3,0,68.0,0,1,1,0,6,20,5,0,27,1,24,0,0,1,3,38,53,13,0,5,7,4,2,2,0,3,0,4,0,6,15,9,0,2,9,1,3,7,3,6,1,4,6,6,21,14,31,43,11,30,0,0,0,0,23,14,0,6,11,147,36,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05293948128855642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047455572214841514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07937148182510627,0.0,0.0823531289256697,0.06705937644715078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06812553044779901,0.07966579073109241,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06559051037099352,0.07438734145914014,0.0699649897396577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07872483117112816,0.111229614403977,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04424295595809684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.35096255401065474,0.0,0.0,0.08225095302237083,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08556672742674395,0.06345671612514922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07606544789242319,0.0,0.0,0.06889325379663554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05196431310249446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.091174932551195,0.12427546499639075,0.0,0.0,0.05772349288061585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290584831157961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17288254355354638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08720785930547333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13296396470500027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06439687900047597,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055101393862864105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7950714704157509,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05171891986788976,0.0,0.0,0.0618028168187915,0.04539394212174302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06423296131169944,0.0918338327073564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06999492827376634,0.0,0.07024593943742231,0.08691479389047796,0.0,0.0,0.08442310914498823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05013172230992465
divorce,Rhudean2250,2018/04/14,"I don't get it Hi this is my first post on this so take it easy on me. Me and my wife together 11 years married 7 now. I was locked up for a few months and while I was in there she tells me over the phone she wants a divorce. Broke my heart I mean bad I was a Month to the house. So I get out all my stuff in a storage my car dropped off at my mom's. Are place we had empty. So I go on mission and find out moved in with another man and been going on before I got locked up. I'm over that shit . But so she says that she will take care of filing the divorce papers. Well she never did. So I did it and screwed up on something . But I guess what I'm asking is she has moved on why hasn't she followed threw with anything. She wanted all this and said she would do the divorce papers,but nothing has been done. I even tried contacting her and asked if she still has the papers that I served her if I could get them and copy them so I can take care of it. No reply of any kind. Wouldn't the guy she is with want her to be done with it. All of this doesn't make sense to me. I do still think about us and it's hard. I'm finally getting myself back on track, I did get a bad case of the fuk it's and went crazy for a year. She started it then finish it. I guess I have to be the adult. It hurts because I lost my best friend and I feel like I'm not going to find another one again. I guess I needed to get that out. Thanks",-0.4404839341692792,1.211627109717874,1.5034551332288402,102.03897580329156,85.11285266457679,4.614459247648903,16.238342476489027,5.3872612403679225,-1.023491457680251,1084,20,286,5,32,357,155,319,0.094,0.813,0.092,0.0935,1,0,1,0,3,0,25.0,2,0,2,3,15,15,2,0,14,0,31,3,2,1,4,44,70,23,0,9,5,2,2,1,1,3,0,2,0,3,20,19,0,0,5,0,0,9,7,7,1,2,16,4,53,8,38,48,5,48,0,3,0,1,36,21,2,5,17,197,73,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06730763532981315,0.20757166275393704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814494939295217,0.0,0.1850599417134755,0.0,0.0,0.07610706925534562,0.16528302988320082,0.06033535409223245,0.0,0.0842219884250565,0.0,0.10387007186911752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2018269399033933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07902494126179188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20257531280151286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06537325970193884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05004565684149237,0.07070906384000543,0.0,0.10842427427323093,0.18092605059266065,0.08418963712021514,0.0,0.0,0.0764692497789655,0.0,0.3102678369121779,0.0,0.16875243238457704,0.0,0.07916080897492411,0.0,0.3271023957617364,0.09800261825719064,0.0,0.0,0.08866379452579229,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11728801465008624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1142059676249966,0.105956738674708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1030691326865577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835507737633269,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10804489690443038,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06606779952003385,0.0,0.0,0.10781477890779402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11592046166690885,0.15800471547552106,0.21039340316476246,0.0,0.0733900619009541,0.07633702947377895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09497093338800812,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06706925842927168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10340971639626234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479243900859784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0941496264173461,0.0787103441944475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015982889346539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07619719576066658,0.0,0.0,0.07005630644680602,0.0,0.15808604123098366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1133047850813724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22325476464155566,0.0,0.08651010797700774,0.09112456286953527,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06342035320524728,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06719876743499988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905693425731505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17513728806052573,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08899205267063091,0.09175250874924937,0.08931119006026605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07031029697806117,0.0,0.0,0.12747566094574694
divorce,lovelyruthiemay,2018/04/14,"Found this poem in my grandmas closet while cleaning. After a while you learn that even sun shine burns if you get too much. 
So you plant your own garden, and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. 
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong. 
And that you really do have worth. 
And you learn, and learn. ",3.157701863354035,5.73957466666667,3.303561076604556,88.93434782608698,77.69565217391305,6.2616977225672885,20.002070393374744,7.447530270364453,0.6515200828157353,288,7,54,4,7,88,46,69,0.0,0.92,0.08,0.6948,1,0,0,0,0,0,11.0,0,11,0,1,4,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,0,0,12,8,9,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,5,5,0,1,5,1,1,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,12,1,5,7,3,5,1,0,1,0,11,1,0,1,3,42,17,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25211535279464475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.41852447922760616,0.0,0.0,0.19942732324244467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2806002111611973,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7335981394054099,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32342100005110763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,rothmcry,2018/04/15,"“Getting Past Your Breakup” - thank you to the redditor who recommended this book Often people post book suggestions and “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan Elliott was recommended here on this sub a long while ago by someone. I’d like to thank that redditor, and also recommend this book to others going through their own grieving process. I wound up doing a lot of the exercises well before I even read the book. And the exercises are critical for making peace with the past and moving forward. 

Thank you mystery redittor!",6.79718944099379,8.982522228260873,6.594409937888197,71.19282608695653,65.84782608695652,9.604968944099381,35.96894409937888,9.957137785484203,4.075963975155279,423,21,65,10,7,133,63,92,0.054000000000000006,0.7340000000000001,0.212,0.9245,0,0,0,0,0,0,7.0,0,4,1,0,5,6,0,0,7,0,3,3,0,1,0,8,10,6,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,6,5,0,0,0,7,0,3,0,1,1,0,1,0,7,5,11,9,2,12,0,1,0,0,7,3,0,2,8,46,13,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17035823279796727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368831386580045,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1635331930768106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1269347601595821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20081489813646028,0.0,0.10922177063805946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0938906852319739,0.0,0.0,0.17007550697590024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16338672943927687,0.0,0.0,0.12828334283135231,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2042596337680047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5503799627199072,0.13323518045229776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1840577564184293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19223455490638228,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16283564890829433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5308076078152871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727951904702162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,louisash1,2018/04/15,"Dealing with divorce depression Wife filed for divorce after 16 years of marriage with two kids (twin boys age 14).  I’m 50, she’s 52.  Family was my one and only priority, so my life is shattered. 9 months into this, I still feel like my brain is hard wired for depression.  Tried counseling, journaling, reading, gym, hiking, reaching out to family and friends, etc.  All these things help a little, but not enough.  Nauseous all day, insomnia at night, on the verge of a heart attack all the time.  Feel like my kids have lost their energetic, fun loving dad. What else can I do? This is no way to live. ",3.0882220434432845,5.5148653362831865,3.8712308930008064,85.60464199517297,77.05309734513273,7.2949316170555125,24.432019308125504,8.296473431620573,1.6447238938053101,465,16,89,9,11,148,90,113,0.134,0.685,0.18,0.7964,0,0,0,0,2,0,25.0,0,0,1,1,2,9,1,0,4,0,7,5,2,0,3,13,12,4,0,0,2,2,3,2,1,0,2,0,0,3,5,6,0,0,2,2,0,0,2,4,0,2,2,3,8,5,13,10,5,15,0,3,0,1,14,6,0,0,10,51,13,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1994126494845742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1956766749411536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11304469649090552,0.18071173366647936,0.3019464221511033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14642860786978495,0.0,0.0,0.1811168583738144,0.19548975359248755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33048728495114804,0.0,0.17725930947994376,0.2504481032180386,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1354252023827025,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15702144786801134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20771425333667212,0.11749022775496627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12380938721771842,0.17127135832637386,0.17568219785556838,0.15478037633701064,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19134491409284826,0.0,0.1582020773239992,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13991127566011305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16449364033844316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11877804375871265,0.1333125803799341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533301229369358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13998328863869122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11645194897785775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10221042986528124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900740109335135,0.0,0.17122853925332338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13913353256890104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11287816496399848
divorce,anonymousitsinfo,2018/04/15,"Two 60 year olds getting divorced. One had a great job now retired.  The other quit working long ago and doesn't work at all.  If they were to get a divorce after 30 years of marriage, how will the one without a job survive after the divorce? ",3.1156249999999983,4.885502645833334,3.84,88.905,74.625,4.800000000000002,30.75,3.1291,1.1107749999999998,189,9,36,0,4,60,40,48,0.0,0.913,0.087,0.6249,2,0,0,0,3,0,5.0,0,0,1,4,2,1,0,0,6,0,4,0,0,1,1,5,6,3,0,1,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,1,1,6,3,1,9,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,1,8,26,2,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21161766607046528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2494506978492384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26319808728995164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4738007313785276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2112664662627364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25050452024340564,0.0,0.3235360806827361,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2539162513584503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23320223476481805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23012494466162695,0.0,0.3475931585766021,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30746557134161057
divorce,awkwardpnut,2018/04/15,"Is this just the way it sometimes goes? Is there any hope? Hi- new to Reddit and would be super grateful for any insight you wonderful internet strangers may have. 

My husband (33m) and I (35f) have been married 5 years and have a preschool- aged child. We argue a lot- about everything- and the topic of divorce is brought up frequently. We currently dont have sex or any other physical contact and haven’t for about a year. I know a big part of the problem is that I can’t put aside the arguing and just have makeup sex or whatever- and that’s all he wants. I’ve tried and it’s awful. He’s convinced if we could just have sex (like we did before we got married and had a kid) and be affectionate things would be better. I have a hard time feeling attracted to him or wanting to be close to him when we argue so much. I wouldn’t say he’s abusive but he has a terrible temper and I feel like we can’t have a conversation without it turning into an argument/ him driving off or going i the basement to punch something. Not sure if this is important but we are super different- I work in academia and have a PhD - he didn’t attend college and works in retail. I ask a million questions and crave deep conversation- he’s easily offended and has always struggled with low self esteem- so I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells and we’re at a point now where we barely talk. Our differences are probably what initially attracted us to each other but now it doesn’t seem like there’s anything worth fighting for and we’re just staying together for our child.

I’m at the point where I fantasize about getting divorced constantly... I hate cliches like we just fell out of love or grew apart- but I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake in marrying him and don’t know what to do. We’ve tried couples counseling and have an appt to try again in a few weeks. 

Anyone here been in a similar situation or have any insight? Thanks for reading this.",3.2922683982683982,5.2436367896103935,4.407272727272732,84.24424242424244,74.61038961038959,7.679653679653679,29.06926406926407,8.484438967287268,2.233770562770563,1544,67,301,29,33,504,202,385,0.106,0.736,0.158,0.9672,2,0,1,0,4,0,38.0,13,1,0,5,19,29,7,1,22,1,41,4,0,1,2,78,64,34,0,11,19,1,5,6,0,4,0,1,0,4,14,34,0,0,11,1,2,8,10,12,0,1,8,6,32,17,33,47,6,45,0,1,0,4,44,22,0,14,19,197,46,5,0.0,0.12538180433064752,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610481648333326,0.0,0.0,0.2878504434880184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739932255881296,0.0,0.08708251610164154,0.0,0.09892931543550976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09004675547135496,0.0,0.0,0.09359098818383683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11435602313475733,0.0,0.08449028211048186,0.1170900661612984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2211230017202044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12402263393396375,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09510601934037337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2140271968534294,0.2267978434233384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05528764432247568,0.0,0.06014109972263725,0.0,0.08463554639323811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09479575552803296,0.1044773486614926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10510515554462656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11631404312102145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3101957987263341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08996610777466227,0.09550851587255034,0.10013136579321767,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0777913699048738,0.0,0.0,0.10220357837875783,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11459494888368582,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2000720507764615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1140940491465826,0.1012573934965409,0.0,0.10638037087426748,0.1185448948767256,0.0,0.10585066941528692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08415392760585777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963364039634873,0.11039545879437664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11894839826611067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08146697059247335,0.1046606959756132,0.0,0.0,0.11279220654402695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11062816476464886,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09973601325106203,0.0,0.0,0.08505574123238042,0.0,0.09742670986031936,0.0,0.0,0.07030345622177189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06170567813174675,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21553864112031595,0.11510398376623852,0.0,0.0,0.12729087553872295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12483315301075296,0.08399660376485482,0.08488405136117455,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1020086630334538,0.11475948014849212,0.15407939994558514,0.0,0.0,0.1503458713691032,0.0,0.0,0.13629183879866735
divorce,coupon_user,2018/04/15,"Mutual friends are fb friending XH's new girlfriend & I'm annoyed. This is a whiny post. I just need to vent in a safe place to get this stress off my chest. Thank you in advance for bearing with me.

XH & I were separated a long time & have been divorced for a few months. He has a diagnosed mental illness & would often choose not to follow his doctors' treatment orders. He was abusive to me behind closed doors & it's really for the best that we are divorced.

I always knew that he would eventually find a new GF post-divorce & that I would have to get used to the kids having her in their lives. I'm doing well with all of that. In fact, I look at the positive in that XH harasses me less since he has a GF now. The scathing messages he used to send to me have diminished greatly.

But, when I see mutual fb friends ""friending"" her, it irritates the living fire out of me. The intellectual side of my brain knows it's bound to happen & that it's not the end of the world, but the emotional side of my brain is annoyed with it. I know I can't expect people to choose, but I'm still inwardly sour seeing them friend her.

One mutual friend in particular always complained to me about how awful her own XH has been to her through the years, so I thought she would understand how all this would feel, but now she's friending my XH's new GF, so we obviously have different ideas. I thought she & I were good friends, but now I'm questioning that.

I expect the kids to eventually friend her & I have no reason to believe that she is anything but a very nice lady. I am always kind in my speech whenever they talk about her. However, my inner reaction is in a bad mood about our friends friending her.

Can anybody relate?",5.373288047207357,5.555229389048994,5.9188390284067545,82.05814601344863,67.78962536023054,9.260820639494993,30.64484698778647,9.107695989026183,2.353804007135996,1366,49,281,23,21,443,168,347,0.091,0.7440000000000001,0.16399999999999998,0.9822,2,0,0,0,3,0,51.0,3,1,3,2,15,26,3,1,20,1,29,6,3,5,4,48,51,11,0,8,9,0,2,0,15,5,3,1,1,2,16,7,0,2,13,0,0,3,4,6,1,1,8,7,46,19,41,38,6,35,0,0,3,0,49,17,0,2,13,180,62,1,0.0,0.07507152057229156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816237959031346,0.6178571167283954,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05214007673530768,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05290315166728533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07138529040133643,0.06649266013173763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14146195884643706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0643093072350398,0.0,0.06619796254035715,0.0,0.06485188777857036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712717390163807,0.05611836401858552,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03203683978984805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05791010911301856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5384715846483216,0.0,0.06620621788473886,0.0,0.0,0.05314356102217434,0.0,0.06985488541105021,0.0,0.0,0.05602924867942494,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07152599578617044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06597993711254832,0.06964225891963663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11189650086913497,0.056071816265605465,0.05320664172959683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06385221680890435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05057353699804936,0.0,0.0,0.04698081319493349,0.0,0.1835811363008268,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.042934536635775296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04392601081291871,0.0,0.06619796254035715,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12136318607730087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07097796655573371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040590190507871014,0.06514487667635199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1009798118550174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05241224312110302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05059956743068805,0.0,0.07257893786592055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050926558776259234,0.0,0.058333593878437014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1006019021714252,0.03694586395549525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06596024164865708,0.0,0.10944580370089428,0.0,0.05227883147306426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056968462678163224,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2250464737626584,0.0,0.0,0.04080191553643421
divorce,throw-345345,2018/04/15,"just assume the worst, it's probably true and you need to accept it throwaway, just need to vent. 8 year relationship, college sweethearts, classic couple looking at houses etc.. get married, 2 months later, wife is feeling down, wants to ""find her happy place"". wants to split, admits flirting to co-worker, which a few days later turns into a confession to sleeping with a few weeks before.... literally a month after we got married.

_

the marriage was more of a formality, we were inseparable for years, all she wanted was family and kids etc... was telling me how much she couldn't wait to be a mom a week before she admitted cheating physically, for sure emotionally, and reality being what it is she probably was cheating already i just didnt get the whole truth.

_


so from feeling like things were ok to married, to moved out and broken up in a matter of days. i tried to save it, don't we all, but like all people too little too late, and of course i didn't want to accept the truth that it was over and the truth of what she had done.

_


this family oriented person is doing all this shit and not a single person in their life says or does a god damn thing about it? they leave ok, you don't love me it is what it is, but these affairs don't build over night. every other person in her life saw this building, hell i had my own fears but i just told myself i was being paranoid, don't be the overbearing jealous guy, she's making new work friends it's good for her.


_

it's been about a year and a bit since the official divorce, about 1.5 since the marriage and break up. i've been in my own personal mental hell since day 0, i don't have many cool vices otherwise i'd probably be dead, instead most days i get in from work at 6pm and take a few sleeping pills just to get the day over,try to sleep from 7-7 over a year of this, it fucking sucks. otherwise i just work my mind up feeling sorry for myself and mad and defeated and all those things you feel after something like this.


_


two things always wash over me daily just making me feel like shit. i remember at some point we were talking about sex drives and she mentioned she just doesn't need sex as much as me, we had a fine sex life though. so when i found out she cheated it hurt me that much more, its not like it was some crazed sex passion can't control yourself thing, she chose to be physical with this person.

_


the other thing i remember is when she was leaving she said something to the words of ""i don't want you to think i did this to be with him, i did it because our relationship was dead"". that's probably more cold than she put it but i think that was the sentiment. i'm leaving to find my happiness not to be with him. of course  today i happen to look at facebook, which i usually stay away from, and up pops a photo of the 2 of them with 10s if not 100+ likes. nobody seems to give a fuck about the lack of morals of any of this. and maybe they shouldn't, life is chaos. after all that thats all it was, she found someone better and THEN chose to bail. maybe i'd do the same if i was in those shoes, idk. it's just so depressing. not that they left but that they had to set up their new happy life first and then they got to go and leave all their mistakes behind, the day she left all history with me stayed behind, nobody knew of what had just happened in her new life for the most part.

_

if  i may make a terrible analogy, all our time i thought we were jim and pam from the office, it was cute.... but i never thought about roy. im roy, im the loser. she got her rom com happy ending. i turned out to be the ""bad"" spouse that loses the girl in the rom com movie. a villain in my own life story. nobody thinks about that guy too hard, i never did either. i certainly see pam and jim differently now.


_

they say time heals all wounds, i don't want her back, i havent for about a year i know it was forever broken but what i do want is to forget and to feel like not a piece of garbage. i haven't felt confidence or attractive since then. nobody can make anyone stay i just wish she'd had the courage to leave when she stopped loving me before starting a new relationship and given me the same fresh start she got because i feel like a little bitch with ptsd that will never attract a good person as a result of this. im not even sure i ever want to trust anyone again since now i know how much it can hurt, but the crippling loneliness makes me wish for anyone to be at my side",3.319242918229925,4.432450568605934,4.232923636482791,88.93238330848503,72.9517014270033,7.1951177154840495,23.58603797696479,7.543152864043107,0.8443374707144851,3472,91,752,40,67,1121,354,911,0.161,0.706,0.133,-0.9873,1,0,2,0,1,1,103.0,8,4,10,9,38,66,15,1,50,3,72,26,6,9,22,163,142,51,2,20,32,3,9,8,2,3,11,3,0,10,59,40,0,3,29,0,0,4,25,26,0,2,46,18,101,40,110,81,40,94,4,6,4,9,84,36,9,12,57,511,160,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04912815598193425,0.0,0.03704362501440903,0.0,0.0,0.030274651488054707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09338679169695477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041827349018674236,0.03423259465575447,0.03717175697886405,0.05427710566862321,0.0,0.11364793910997027,0.0,0.0,0.03937370414100121,0.04860354657696471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049932181915065,0.0,0.04925976007251321,0.0,0.17226759793317614,0.0,0.038344408939662206,0.0,0.0,0.04651319436546472,0.0,0.0,0.03895914054208549,0.0455587019592781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500782217823181,0.039430886886844166,0.0,0.09930157809934828,0.02940457861008298,0.040270256766923015,0.03750943141248172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08393767022140015,0.05009659101894705,0.1575720746034145,0.12721839085941444,0.042745510767433145,0.0,0.08137966963128135,0.03786809490826578,0.0,0.0976262319075524,0.034395501717852606,0.08231475327908623,0.09303798976585696,0.042706970410381635,0.02530134485322721,0.0746813553843252,0.14242460852977076,0.0,0.0,0.08816221512209678,0.07873654215228326,0.18956649609327464,0.039880549446191724,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.051369296377157835,0.09531766553583892,0.0,0.14426545473072885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048933287383343085,0.0,0.05021971094449778,0.2356975597685286,0.09674070215938486,0.0,0.2201170935000254,0.17399905470729954,0.08924007100334434,0.0,0.0,0.07477000117016082,0.049805710512656816,0.0,0.0,0.08036081507175191,0.0,0.14858489644233094,0.04513558389605755,0.08945124383105149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04486498461773258,0.0,0.04495180324545602,0.05214046757256378,0.0710697630521545,0.047316971729785565,0.13090723552747593,0.09903149334473796,0.10300808897657196,0.17198807429332422,0.0,0.04177834841145795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04821006488933119,0.0,0.03086407799024338,0.2332352200194989,0.04651319436546472,0.0,0.042085129599669216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19199734600610688,0.0,0.05204068078543345,0.04475419407887776,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14339120600653213,0.10086337961481244,0.0,0.042348050314778674,0.07080707047024239,0.0,0.0,0.035476119170110815,0.0405286998382329,0.0,0.0,0.09139684596576277,0.18413413025632247,0.0,0.13365435769803002,0.0,0.0377210594862133,0.06854626625099902,0.0,0.04983571291064636,0.06302198114150566,0.14235495498194306,0.0,0.03722012929493018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0839178291447612,0.0,0.033472974051414806,0.035782927990877546,0.03891183156805698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17745987337553912,0.08557851190863659,0.043739987450193515,0.0706867046909828,0.05191912515779662,0.0,0.042199092088331315,0.04254010018577953,0.0,0.0604513664624417,0.09684843146137803,0.04348888842262735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049031720697354265,0.0,0.2100690987033543,0.0,0.07142139621433413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04970420997984203,0.10238999870682494,0.0,0.0,0.1296423261556754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14334485194105795
divorce,s1kooter,2018/04/15,"I think it’s over. I’ve been married to my wife (25) for 3 years. I’m in the military and have deployed twice since then. On top of that my current position I work around 18 hours a day 7 days a week and I stay over night at work every 2 days. My job is very stressful and has definitely taken a toll on me. My wife was in the military and separated about 4 years ago. (That’s how we met). We’ve been together a total of 6 years and it’s just not the same. She quit her job a few years ago has taken a few college classes but now she just hangs out with our dogs all day and doesn’t do anything. On nights I do come home from work she usually confronts me about not doing enough around the house. I try to talk to her before I go to sleep and she doesn’t understand how tired I am and also complains about our sex life. I just feel like she’s changed and turned into an awful person. She’s rude, things she’s entitled to everything, has negative opinions on everything and to me is just lazy. I 100% support us and even make her car payments for her. She has completely cut her family off and is I feel like she’s trying to push me away from mine. I’m exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. She’s just changed so much that I don’t feel attracted to her and resent her. I’ve even done counseling. Also while we were dating she cheated on me with one of my best friends.....  Did I marry a toxic person? I just can’t help but feel like I did this to my self. Is it time to walk away?",1.2422577209797652,3.154495552715656,3.0687763578274776,91.64388871139515,80.6932907348243,6.729243876464324,21.615441959531413,7.793537801064563,0.8085587646432377,1160,35,263,20,30,387,163,313,0.129,0.7709999999999999,0.1,-0.8792,3,0,0,0,0,0,34.0,5,0,0,6,20,15,5,1,12,1,24,5,1,3,2,46,40,23,0,0,10,2,4,3,1,0,3,0,1,3,8,23,0,0,6,0,0,6,7,8,0,2,10,4,49,7,39,30,8,46,0,0,0,1,33,18,0,1,24,177,57,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17990541263034204,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16230128164852775,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08350643126884888,0.18067102139771155,0.0,0.0,0.1906808373532161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08634894274270745,0.0,0.10649322173731757,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21469715289499994,0.08741293370353996,0.1063960752638889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26177553357939576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10384558957396847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11414729222200115,0.0,0.10485224807703256,0.0,0.1340484109783252,0.0,0.0854982440697092,0.0,0.1824008910819928,0.0,0.09566291923108113,0.0,0.2052380684871873,0.21748428239772866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07840041530980105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05767137693356938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06801749223015377,0.0,0.10178910359002584,0.0,0.0999338136366421,0.11709014170452027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2013993388785144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07167578269287422,0.14872873055248118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06773628531661267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10226434420848657,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07459683039806528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1904574553547384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06876303521447218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17721055759364532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10793264291786643,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1058620169110143,0.0,0.0,0.08394232712885091,0.0,0.10154968555138592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.108160341077387,0.0,0.0,0.1162408739295612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11515421674733678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08156288687102925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741641144237967,0.06502198000840546,0.0,0.0,0.0591717051881243,0.11663219460300756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13779162971884976,0.11037718407133744,0.0,0.10564051168686377,0.12206361535212455,0.0,0.11176191868227643,0.08372865788793345,0.0,0.0,0.08139824752582846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2216280844449373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2613898995720773
divorce,sleepingleopard,2018/04/15,"Tired of the Financial and Other BS I am just tired of the all of the bs from my wife. I have suspected that my wife liked to cash her work checks and hold on to the money. I don't care if she does hold on to some of her money. What I do care is that our joint bank account runs out of money by the end of the month. I argue with her that she needs to put more money in the joint account and she says that she has problems getting work.

We did out taxes this year. She works part time for two businesses. The W-2 for the first was mailed to our house and it showed a few thousand in earnings. The second W-2 was pulled out of her purse at the tax preparers office. Wouldn't you know that it showed over 40k of earnings. Maybe 10% made it into our joint account. The W-2 was addressed to MIL house. To put the cherry on the cake, she also brought a printout of payments for insurance premiums. It showed all electronic transfers from her pre-marital account (In her name only) for 15 months. The second employer has been direct depositing her pay into her private account since May 2017. The printout also had some balances indicating that she is spending as fast as she is making. That would be in line with her character.

Anyone have experience with This? How does a divorce court view it? Do I have any claim to funds that she is deliberately hiding? She blames all financial problems on me.

To make this weekend really special (sarcastic) we wife suggested that I pick up my daughter from school, get some ice cream and dinner, and come over to MIL house. I did that and when I arrived, my wife suggested that I take a walk around the neighborhood so my daughter could show me the dream house that she wants for $380k. We have a house for less than half and we are running out of money in the joint. I was/am pissed. We argued on Sat about doing stuff and I reminded my wife that we had less than 300 in bank. She was pissed because I said it in front of daughter. She is saying I am causing my daughter to worry about money. I told her that she is causing me enormous stress. My daughter needs to understand that you can't be reckless with money.

Yes. I copied all of the tax return info into pdf files and saved it at a secure location.",3.1326268266603314,5.0479111738148985,3.8464209338244046,88.24964090531071,74.95936794582394,6.7399073304027555,24.524711892598308,7.573540080772713,1.1346063205417605,1762,57,354,23,38,559,204,443,0.097,0.863,0.04,-0.9757,5,0,0,0,1,0,47.0,9,2,0,6,9,13,4,1,26,1,35,5,2,7,4,62,53,18,0,9,2,10,0,1,0,3,2,3,1,0,28,29,1,3,4,6,23,9,3,7,0,6,14,5,62,6,69,33,12,45,0,0,2,0,56,26,2,5,11,255,90,12,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16226609263612513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06899247041800938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07093927479371236,0.0,0.0,0.09031592479433244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06184566003501619,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20687904295865972,0.20844322958376146,0.0,0.08739398145142585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08100308227399794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17756685670990774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08985848435513308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09924186990766642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08629706005949374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10601147232371316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5853237752535965,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055756684492029744,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04956549474810452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0959986055076688,0.1354431984316025,0.0,0.1019245803094216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1619598668848546,0.0,0.0,0.1504543028399839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.077160642237522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1098652275828796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1941563164749648,0.0,0.20397938600793614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06499428596164075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09650636638230296,0.16136122051583685,0.0,0.1026772682965764,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08392412734903129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11621567140797386,0.0,0.1161410142347248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07628108197896949,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059158875998812914,0.23321381447609615,0.0,0.09694402608745388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09910620603490948,0.10561760746061112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059840433191062324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22158003261606027,0.1030318670153421,0.0,0.07207029426261387,0.0,0.0,0.06533330671713597
divorce,Throwaway998709,2018/04/15,"I'm so upset. It hurts so much. It happened last night. My wife of 11 years told me she doesn't see our life together progressing any further. We have a 5 year old daughter together. She's my world.

I lost my job of 10 years through redundancy. And I've struggled to find another since then. No doubt that put a huge strain on our relationship. It just pains me that she doesn't want to work things out and go to counselling or anything. It's just over. I don't have any friends to talk too. She was my best friend. All my family live on the other side of the country.

I worry about losing my connection with my daughter. We have a deep bond. Or if I can't find a job soon I'll be homeless. I'm a manly man but geez I cried like a baby off and on yesterday and today.

I'm going to sign off from my new bed.... the couch. ",0.10879310344827786,2.2564361436781653,2.112195402298852,95.41484482758621,86.98850574712644,5.548965517241379,19.61954022988505,6.961326702584282,0.21538712643678126,635,19,148,9,20,211,111,174,0.14300000000000002,0.8,0.057,-0.8056,2,0,0,0,0,0,23.0,4,0,0,5,7,12,0,4,9,0,9,2,0,0,1,20,19,11,0,2,6,3,0,1,2,0,2,0,2,2,8,8,0,0,2,0,0,3,5,8,0,0,3,1,23,4,19,15,3,26,0,3,1,0,18,12,0,4,12,87,31,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20976535572841806,0.16172512770416966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12691934566046195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161856396145824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16941601058845335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14539568903009362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2819295105015881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2383176782778009,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17530657968560515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363863658341037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510796190516586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061018405231034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12571922039427436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10893823746093444,0.07534969812428388,0.0,0.13618919995172227,0.0,0.0,0.1725455466781556,0.16836185168846146,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11337786513694245,0.0,0.0,0.14895769980795445,0.0,0.1447357720985342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16183996694720718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16411314168633978,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1550452107598758,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16558686259446564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12290250080200366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12758185292471622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1612362034551081,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1239654009224913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10246452515131244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1461933850306706,0.14737476419362674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09096970784792488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1122823357447848,0.15662952859124393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979600000130556
divorce,Lucy_Fury,2018/04/15,"It’s just happened Hi all. Apologies in advance for being all over the place, but as the title stated this just happened today.
Yesterday was my birthday, and it was the worst. We spent it fighting, then I went to see a movie by myself.
I’m in the uniquely awful situation of having no family, and few close friends. I can’t even run to my mum and fall in a heap. I’m all on my own. 
We were working together too, so here I am, needing to find a job, and a place to live, all on my own. I keep feeling like I just need to go to someone for support, or a hug, but there’s no one.
I’m scared. Scared for my future and scared that I’ll vack down out of fear, which I’ve done many times before. It can’t work, I know that. It just seems like there’s so much to do, so much work ahead of me and I’m scared that I’m not strong enough.
I just need some support.",0.9181451612903224,2.296756338709677,2.7104166666666707,96.33562500000002,79.6989247311828,5.5102150537634405,20.764784946236556,5.985473137389443,-0.14264408602150525,653,17,160,4,16,217,105,186,0.199,0.688,0.113,-0.9643,1,0,0,0,2,0,27.0,2,0,0,6,13,14,1,5,9,1,10,1,0,0,4,32,30,14,0,3,9,1,1,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,10,0,1,4,0,1,5,5,7,0,1,6,2,16,7,24,23,12,23,0,0,1,1,7,11,0,3,8,108,26,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11044900738983712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1328289834935576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13411660125600391,0.0,0.0857307192449172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1223625227765676,0.14605945681874435,0.06563004775449809,0.09272811127633958,0.0,0.0,0.11863352476357432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10028203907163448,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07376750814538305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2295608612210592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12880503432672302,0.11537091664272592,0.0,0.0,0.071333889494232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1268260319744673,0.0,0.11461449917931177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13159535874530245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19083374063871028,0.28873194426365073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08795485785136939,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2712237206461818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5198039752070719,0.0,0.1034326406374375,0.11816372658377845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14589901046775894,0.0,0.0,0.10997789165135212,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2945877165953293,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0756865793141903,0.0,0.1230338500744435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12032455783087433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2834846746137104,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,DrivesInCircles,2018/04/15,"XW wants to move out of state with kids Hi y'all...

My XW pulled me aside when I dropped off the kids yesterday and let me know that she's planning to get married to her out of state partner, and that she \(my XW\) wants to move and take the kids.

Anyone have advice on parenting plans across state lines \(1000\+ miles\)? ",5.189218749999998,5.593776984375001,4.109375000000004,94.098125,68.21875,7.65,26.9375,7.1686216300943375,0.9111375000000006,253,7,57,2,4,73,46,64,0.0,1.0,0.0,0.0,1,0,0,0,0,0,16.0,0,1,0,2,1,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,9,7,4,0,2,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,4,2,6,0,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,12,6,0,15,0,0,0,0,10,6,0,0,2,31,11,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29772380379195074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2130350712339626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15917953505849214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744080464693364,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3115496996754409,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6476402664570152,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3383043044014648,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2290768517221135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3594091139104529,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,adamwithers124,2018/04/15,"I am only 17, but I have a terrible fear of divorce. I know I should not be thinking about this stuff right now. Im so young and have so much experiences to go through before I even think about marriage. Ever since I was a kid my parents have had a terrible marriage. All my life I have seen them fighting and things going terribly wrong. Seeing them like this, and seeing everyone around me getting divorced these days, it’s giving me a terrible fear that this is going to happen to me. Seeing that the divorce rate is 50% and people in theirs 50s and 60s getting divorced, this is making me lose hope in love. I do not want this to end up happening to me, I am so scared of abandonment and my future partner leaving me or falling out of love with me. I am scared that even if we are in love in the beginning, things will go wrong in the future. I shouldn’t be thinking about this but I am overthinking a lot and i just want to vent.",4.08113553113553,4.9368483386243405,5.001693121693123,85.09750915750918,70.90476190476191,7.931786731786732,28.29507529507529,8.139509932561175,1.7686350020350017,732,26,150,10,13,239,101,189,0.259,0.623,0.118,-0.9864,1,0,0,0,6,0,17.0,1,0,3,1,12,18,1,4,8,0,20,4,0,1,2,32,45,14,0,6,7,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,2,14,11,0,1,4,0,0,5,3,13,0,0,3,4,27,5,22,37,3,22,0,2,4,3,18,9,0,4,9,115,41,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11171125640948616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10678136215530147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08092961872685893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11114545091824153,0.0,0.0,0.16576777276439908,0.11351141707254785,0.0,0.11990951740000415,0.0,0.12275170742101388,0.0,0.2824186133193633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13112499034992578,0.12037988131577035,0.2852717353905743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22193790635174465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12463826841790353,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13554897597566504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06896512760087264,0.0,0.0,0.13287406715440955,0.0,0.0,0.08863614847373306,0.06130728003369794,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14038938989930722,0.0,0.1066857266061642,0.3397744661287583,0.0,0.08376446293036871,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09224839250329024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09543956184189298,0.0,0.0,0.139339986869794,0.0,0.0,0.08699783687964431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10716638427067174,0.0,0.0,0.2512715045525116,0.0,0.2999939570195259,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10380527831143158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1436541634310685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16673779705420952,0.2412236458767306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14803258652522772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2744036711878892,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway537574,2018/04/16,"Dad has stopped contact with me, is this normal? I’m 24m and live with my mam, my parents are in the middle of a divorce and a few weeks ago my Dad stopped responding to my texts, calls and the door was always locked when I went over although the car was there.

Anyway, finally managed to speak to him at the house and he told me that his solicitor has advised him to stop contact with me until the divorce is over. He’s told me not to come around until it’s over.

Is this a normal thing to happen? Really hurt because we used to be really close.",5.8263126843657815,4.898776070796462,6.4788938053097365,82.15633480825959,67.05309734513274,9.303244837758113,31.222713864306783,8.344100000000001,2.103667846607669,428,14,91,5,6,141,71,113,0.091,0.909,0.0,-0.8423,1,0,0,0,2,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,4,1,0,0,8,0,9,0,0,1,0,18,16,8,0,2,1,3,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,1,5,11,0,3,0,0,0,3,1,1,0,0,5,1,13,0,19,10,1,20,0,1,0,0,20,8,0,0,9,64,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16456911467018154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15447716568677478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16526945800720286,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11317161106815415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.189571239799688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15992258265039722,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20337246682333912,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1641712691850607,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21421724533116251,0.19874408627839404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1639339362746001,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3637986829633516,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2061443479275568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2378665875128055,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4656396406458307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1233388032422316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3547964920913936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16034354309620594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14891867159721728,0.0,0.0,0.17210107392133894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,esta7,2018/04/16,"I didn't want this My husband (32M) cheated on me (31F) twice. We've been together 8 years 8 months married. We have two girls a 7year old and a 19month old. He swore he wouldn't ever be unfaithful to me after his first affair and I believed him.

I was so afraid of getting married so afraid of getting my heart broken and I did. I'm so devastated I just cant believe his behavior towards me these past few weeks. Making me believe that he wanted to leave the marriage because he felt no support from me. I tried my hardest to show him how much I loved him and all along he was seeing some other woman since 6 months ago. 

Why put someone through so much pain? I dont understand. I'm so afraid for my two girls how will this affect them. Im afraid of our financial situation since I'm a stay at home mom. I'm afraid of ending up alone for the rest of my life. I'm so insecure about everything.

I cry all the time I try my hardest not to and think positive but i just cant hold it in i cant stop not being afraid. My family keeps telling me to stop crying and think of my children and that just makes me cry even harder. 

What can I do?????",0.5927596153846153,2.7248566541666683,2.563333333333336,93.12576923076924,84.54166666666666,5.5256410256410255,21.73076923076923,6.8449194561589275,0.4923846153846157,887,30,197,11,26,296,136,240,0.124,0.8270000000000001,0.049,-0.935,0,1,0,0,0,0,25.0,2,0,1,1,14,11,1,7,6,0,16,4,1,5,3,35,35,16,0,3,6,2,1,0,0,2,2,0,1,4,8,9,0,4,4,1,0,1,9,9,0,4,6,2,36,2,23,25,7,22,0,0,1,1,23,5,0,1,15,124,44,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1004906250753726,0.0,0.0,0.11741124126359348,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0691058341039152,0.0,0.0,0.3831682866253047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.373576129950449,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13286213267408625,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10040713461800248,0.0,0.0,0.07487606077339579,0.10254451298296877,0.0,0.0,0.10188453638577756,0.0,0.106869786845367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10884752012445642,0.0,0.0,0.096427628272549,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11845635110639018,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13433725888798434,0.0,0.0,0.11371365092434575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12245291341822477,0.0,0.0,0.10076341178643833,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003644087807334,0.0,0.0,0.08007256813749382,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10231572016217944,0.0,0.15134312085954826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13277091538995328,0.18097262905917705,0.0,0.16667163051388584,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2379135569436234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12062762374551918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10821906593399004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11396244782658844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09033668158313908,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1875522653849705,0.12742623963474925,0.0,0.0,0.09605321606472816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083127599462767,0.0,0.18955528661275897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1286444810282839,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09908540788593034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1452785509707568,0.0,0.0,0.06610364362242005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15393385666559056,0.0,0.22148092619722015,0.11801624973349707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13373042009630454,0.0,0.0909340153174562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10229366143261864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07300290194814517
divorce,alexxlea,2018/04/16,"Dealing with accusations of money ""movement"" and other issues Everyone -
  
  I have been separated since January and on Friday, my STBXW freaked out an accuses me of ""moving"" money out of our joint account and now refuses to deposit her latest commission check into our joint account. Part of the reason we are divorcing is because she is a bit delusional. All the money has gone to expenses and her spending - which is very high. I do have a lawyer and I have asked this question - but has anyone have advice on if I should stop pointing my pay into the joint account? We hopefully will have a separation agreement signed and in effect by May 15th (my hope)",7.611932773109242,8.102823806722693,7.996302521008405,68.01193277310928,63.03361344537815,10.833613445378154,37.16806722689076,10.608840637214634,4.281181512605042,519,24,82,12,7,171,82,119,0.077,0.8590000000000001,0.064,0.3612,0,0,0,0,0,0,14.0,4,0,0,1,1,4,0,0,7,0,16,0,0,2,1,26,20,8,0,4,2,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,3,13,0,2,3,0,11,3,0,1,0,0,2,0,15,3,15,15,3,15,0,0,0,0,12,9,0,5,3,67,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22083178544650472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15801529654039434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21126724765446786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13775951810316056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2467191672093085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2329825732124015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2159401695968071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2387675698143585,0.0,0.448911969691799,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2358716127533149,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2401883130391125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2447217929203493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21363066808888487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25315705010028305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2323521736225305,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18693870086090034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1889351693405052,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18646286165465892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,FLORIDA41florida,2018/04/16,"Advice on Stashing Money throw away account and not from Florida. I am in a state with no fault divorce and equal division of assets when no kids with under 18 are involved. We have tried talking and counseling, but it has not helped.

I need any help and advice anyone has.

I intend to suggest my wife and I go to divorce mediation to develop a settlement. In my state a mediator can develop the filing, but they cannot file them in court. So one of us can file the papers.

I know I cannot hide any assets, but I am afraid of my wife blocking my from accessing our money. Before I start this can I (or should I) create a bank account solely in my name and put some money in the account. I will tell her about the account, but not let her have access to the account. Is this a good idea or a bad idea?

",2.393453111305874,4.131252766871167,4.225560911481157,85.5046165644172,76.54601226993866,6.865731814198071,24.52629272567923,7.7094869923839395,1.2833421560035054,623,21,126,9,14,211,91,163,0.081,0.821,0.098,0.4097,0,0,0,0,2,0,17.0,3,0,2,0,3,4,0,1,11,0,16,0,0,1,0,27,20,14,0,2,9,2,0,0,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,9,0,1,3,0,9,3,7,3,0,1,0,0,23,1,20,17,2,15,0,0,0,0,19,8,0,3,2,95,26,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4025633935823652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2801475178351523,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1440263091760275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1935253987949228,0.0,0.17198505910644565,0.0,0.0,0.17527417869313822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1170634278204577,0.17276661589100856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27612868690077746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4650536773422119,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11320146001818256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21062895000924176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1527318823085561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1395776733199415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20706722897961735,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1457940118056586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16555927095434353,0.18003597882062905,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1398471942020396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2477691011563154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,hd8383,2018/04/16,"The opposite of lonely I’m beginning to get worried that I’ll never be interested in finding another mate...

I’m about two and a half years since divorce, about three years since my ex asked for a divorce and I found out she was cheating on me. I was worst than devastated. I was depressed, going through anxiety attacks, etc. I pulled myself out of the gutter. I kept the house, but still get SS and CS as friendly reminders each month what happened. 

Fast forward to now...  I work less, my relationship with my two young girls is incredible and keeps getting better every day, I’m back in shape, I’ve picked up hobbies, I hang out with friends, my financials are back in the black. I’m generally really happy, but not lonely. 

I’ve got general ex drama to deal with still relative to co-parenting. She’s been dating a bunch of guys and brings them around the kids but I can’t really do anything about that so I just let it go. 

I quickly got out of being mad at the world and being mad at my ex. I’d like to think that I didn’t let one bad seed ruin my outlook on trust. So I’m not opposed to making myself vulnerable. But I haven’t dated. I may have asked a girl or two out, they weren’t available, but thank god cause it was a half assed attempt that I’m not sure I could have followed through with. I have no interest in dating. I have no interest in putting up with everything that comes with it. I like deciding what I want without anybody else’s input. 

I’m really beginning to worry that I won’t ever be interested again. Anybody else feel like this?",3.06278846153846,4.819542778846156,4.558589743589747,83.75307692307696,74.73717948717949,7.7487179487179505,27.06410256410256,8.502166056373571,1.9438679487179482,1225,47,245,23,26,409,171,312,0.168,0.693,0.139,-0.581,3,4,0,0,2,0,38.0,0,0,2,3,15,24,4,0,11,0,25,1,1,3,3,50,55,15,0,2,11,3,1,3,3,2,0,0,0,4,12,20,0,3,5,1,0,9,12,10,0,7,11,2,32,14,43,35,5,48,0,4,1,1,20,20,1,2,24,164,44,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11928915046238305,0.0870274540118834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09361625577920443,0.10127210739376766,0.2127038241996248,0.129420453423608,0.0,0.17495158086996118,0.09498633849644647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10061305392485564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11686469014174967,0.0,0.0979957044704162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09082952830255796,0.0,0.0,0.07336693993486547,0.11728340489198125,0.09798285857351008,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19006674725678555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12687446165026894,0.0,0.10290404735984736,0.0958492102211121,0.0,0.10224175679901518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05752137656699807,0.0812714418100856,0.0,0.0,0.10397621036209223,0.0,0.0,0.12473392521338306,0.17578414551589458,0.0,0.17830751168057934,0.0,0.12930688791549325,0.0,0.18197138332370133,0.0,0.0,0.11264205257967234,0.1005991706172111,0.12110153533864075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312658257391337,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10111670139126408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23265826516181515,0.0,0.1667347852082314,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07593687474582213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09080357129705534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08774010164907507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07708792957595642,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11436201496553132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21863613718878416,0.0,0.0,0.1221375827432158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18820984797916115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1817006166276192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10721913588270264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473656708959134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07289395821670003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.33338620062226426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06709964815634742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10966230097311662,0.0,0.08281993424935236,0.23106122923767894,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14651771920211693
divorce,ExtraCheese4,2018/04/16,"Taking the next step Hello Reddit. If you'll allow me, I'd like to get my story off my chest.

I am (31M) currently separated with two children (2Y & 4Y). I've been separated from my wife for a year, we have an equal time/custody arrangement, have dealt with all the financial matters, and are each living in our own home. Things are relatively stable and tied up nicely.

To summarize a very long story, the issues in our marriage started shortly after the birth of our first child. We didn't seem to emotionally connect the same way anymore. She ended up cheating on me, knowingly, and maintained the infidelity for about 12 months, and really only fully stopped once this other individual moved on/away. I attempted to reconcile the past events and save my marriage but nothing seemed to work. We went to marriage counselling, have more ""dates"", gifts, communicate more, etc. Although there wasn't any more direct infidelity (that I'm aware of) she continued to text men inappropriately and never really accepted blame for past events. Eventually, she ended up leaving for several weeks and staying at her moms. I asked her if she was coming back and she said no. So, I decided at that time to start the process of breaking things off.

Fast forward to today. I'm now eligible to process formal divorce proceedings and it should be a simple paperwork transaction at this point and yet I am emotionally troubled by doing so.

For the past six months, my wife has been expressing heavy remorse and saying that she would do anything for us to be back together. How I should give her a chance, share my feelings, allow her to help me heal, I'm a different person now, etc..I've been rejecting her advances each time but it wears on me and now I'm right at the start of this divorce stage and in my mind I want to be certain I am doing the right thing and yet there is some lingering doubt I'm having trouble shaking.

I'm starting to see a professional to help me work through these emotional challenges & personal development but am open to getting some other perspectives or words of encouragement from the wider group here.",6.510451334379907,7.706128954081635,6.816020408163265,73.04875981161696,65.58163265306122,10.010361067503926,33.699372056514925,10.125756701596842,3.5505043956043965,1698,73,292,39,26,549,226,392,0.07200000000000001,0.833,0.096,0.5843,2,0,0,0,2,0,54.0,7,1,0,6,14,14,1,2,19,0,28,3,2,3,3,55,52,24,0,6,6,3,1,1,0,4,1,2,1,5,14,23,0,1,7,0,0,8,4,6,0,3,8,4,39,8,49,37,12,68,0,1,1,0,44,20,0,8,39,199,53,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21328386151315687,0.0,0.06693142389086604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09760976515906318,0.0,0.0,0.08099423753605921,0.0,0.0920127808929072,0.0,0.09247221321456643,0.15136334796075446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08478321739453143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10283171483647023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3321399116157261,0.17434819394419646,0.0,0.2195366648373095,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049765930054462434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0837190648831988,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10284453866346976,0.09441688670668147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13194253037972214,0.0,0.09872689695252902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10272866837657428,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05409103720847737,0.0,0.0,0.1042163824025165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04808479996796724,0.0,0.08690984304508516,0.08710178983337312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09937977977607916,0.11527253214935228,0.15712155889041451,0.10460871179071984,0.0,0.0,0.07591034885184722,0.0,0.10467461644535384,0.0,0.0,0.09444009983052276,0.0,0.0,0.10481792305686358,0.0,0.07485558383401422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.28186939256410426,0.0,0.17187938434858546,0.0,0.0,0.09304211643357513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12610535839131806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1681064352590146,0.09362338349918027,0.07827039809168643,0.0,0.0,0.07843086719311848,0.17920229996297415,0.0,0.11119065416809604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2786589259921696,0.10490646318005233,0.0,0.08228653770282872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07400229911836255,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19616480165269806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17217478004745318,0.0,0.09329406554814412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09614555684335244,0.0,0.11839147364004485,0.0,0.0,0.08120977872611465,0.0580527900429921,0.07812407337441014,0.07894947604574809,0.0,0.0,0.09123966435686476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.143307107755594,0.0,0.0,0.06991730236653902,0.0,0.0,0.06338157221480115
divorce,annbaar,2018/04/16,"Memories The memories are causing so much pain. Sadness that hurts. And I think he is seeing another women. And I know for certain he will bring her to ""our house"" in Europe. That part is so hard. To think he will be sharing what was ours. I don't love him anymore. I love our past. She will replace me in a place that was sacred to me. I'm not sad about the divorce. I haven't felt a lot of pain. Except this. I'm sorry. I can't explain myself very well tonight. ",-0.9104810996563548,1.2035027628865969,1.2866391752577329,97.35586941580758,98.69072164948454,3.8237800687285226,18.837800687285224,5.6839178017228535,-0.25397951890034376,356,12,79,3,15,118,66,97,0.222,0.685,0.094,-0.9257,0,0,0,0,1,0,16.0,3,0,0,0,4,10,0,0,4,0,12,4,0,1,1,12,23,4,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,2,0,0,1,5,2,0,0,5,0,0,1,4,5,1,0,3,3,15,5,9,16,3,6,0,3,1,2,15,3,0,1,2,54,20,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2101896639573617,0.0,0.0,0.1987928792825172,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2059177205484548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1924637656796899,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1795641363498917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2312927847524125,0.2145862397648732,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1101622671925112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17041571485277368,0.3618285243086198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1473540674330387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.42658659902420704,0.0,0.0,0.21706818951692367,0.1913525354016271,0.0,0.0,0.2094279464824896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15973297229572378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22438774972885667,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25688097404837645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16539252719799688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802289329626807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,divorcedInCA,2018/04/16,"Date of Separation (CA) Hi Reddit,

Need some help understanding DOS for California. My wife moved out last June of 2017, we haven't lived together since. We have separate finances and for the most part have lived separate lives, seen other people, etc.  Since then, we have occasionally had dinner and hung out (no sex), but the relationship has gone nowhere and I finally started to take action on finalizing this divorce. 

Since her moving out (but before actively working on the divorce), I took on a new job with added salary, stocks, etc.  Right after I changed jobs I did add her on my insurance for a brief period of time before she switched over to her own.  I'm trying to figure out if any court would agree the DOS was last June when she moved out or if it would be when we started to get active about the divorce (last month). Given that she was on my insurance for a few months and we did have contact in the interim, I'm not sure how a court would rule.  

Any thoughts?",7.29241935483871,6.854964370967743,7.143569892473121,76.9753548387097,63.89247311827957,10.665806451612903,32.578494623655914,10.125756701596842,2.971317849462366,767,26,150,15,10,244,115,186,0.013,0.924,0.063,0.8465,3,0,0,0,3,0,27.0,5,0,0,1,4,1,0,0,10,0,15,2,0,1,1,33,28,13,0,6,6,1,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,4,16,1,0,3,0,1,7,3,0,0,0,10,1,18,1,26,14,7,39,0,0,1,1,19,13,0,5,19,95,22,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1631790675863893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2041858323224285,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12692140595092458,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2676156145100821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2628612919313188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0626838447095534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08041909849944967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23812041196977654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2933956146912903,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3178297949099467,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1915314809323568,0.38255465951066864,0.0,0.08896258063756829,0.0,0.1158760391107916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12992508666903027,0.0,0.08317802552324488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12881207074872505,0.0,0.10246103312237027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29774250941827884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1698428819928043,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11307837118388528,0.0,0.09020894422531037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0952495734490962,0.06996046210881315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13330059270649788,0.08145756539556286,0.0,0.0,0.12490191032229644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08734581928284399,0.0,0.0,0.25568797610514715,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,throwaway_red75,2018/04/16,"Pain seeing other people have amazing milestones in their lives Does anyone else feel a tinge of pain seeing other people have these amazing milestones happen while your going through the hardship of a divorce. 

I’m obviously so happy for these people and would never wish bad on them. I can’t help but feel sad though. Not that I want my ex back but it’s hard to enjoy the mess that is my life right now. ",4.529915611814347,6.141321253164557,4.631075949367091,85.31133966244727,70.64556962025316,5.772995780590718,23.29324894514768,5.46131890053228,0.4426691983122364,325,8,59,1,6,101,61,79,0.195,0.633,0.172,-0.0429,0,0,0,0,1,0,4.0,0,1,2,0,4,9,0,0,4,0,5,3,0,0,2,11,14,6,0,3,3,1,3,0,0,1,3,0,0,0,7,1,0,0,2,0,0,1,3,5,0,0,0,5,7,4,7,13,0,8,0,1,2,0,6,3,0,0,4,40,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13728474907278304,0.2011724420678926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1509725224101085,0.16393481037439567,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1718175258906309,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16401598726318414,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19854973060863512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.111583941891405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17362187257666478,0.20900644814865624,0.17588112164850225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13160185007115338,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13867999684202528,0.0,0.0,0.1733708774753734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15142869125973762,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4178369413945763,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4083500902786003,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16767237846116773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3129134236123646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19290200763184498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11580579134662615,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2257800866365036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13947354680769222,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Zinope121,2018/04/17,"My Story I really just wanted to get it off my chest since I'm coming up to a year of finding out.

To start with, I cheated first...sort of.  When we first got married, things were ok, but it became clear that she had no idea or intent on doing anything around the house.  Our relationship was fine for a while, I didn't mind doing everything since she was in school. I liken this part of our marriage as the ""90/10"", where I did everything and she basically slept and browsed Tumblr all day.  She was in school still, so I was the only income, and again, I didn't mind so much, so long as she helped out here and there.  The problem was, this continued for 3 years.  I became burnt out, unable to continue a relationship that I was doing all the work in, and finally I just told her that she needed to help out or I'd divorce her.  I didn't want to, I just at my wits end.  I started talking to old flames and girlfriends again, texting, pictures but I could never bring myself to actually meet anyone and physically cheat on her.  Emotionally I did though, and that part I'll own.  Of course she found out, and I tried to deny it but really it was just a farce, I was somewhat glad that she realized how fed up I was for doing everything. 

About 3.5 years in, I lost my job right around the time she finally graduated and got a pretty decent one.  Our roles flipped overnight.  I'm not one for needing a 50's house-wife, but if one spouse is working, I think the other should take care of the house, which I tried to do.  I felt really guilty and ashamed of myself, and I hated everything that had transpired, which she swears was ok, and that we could make it through it.  Things actually got better for a while.  It took 9 months for me to find any type of employment, and while that was going on, so was her affair.  It happened to be with my brother-in-law's youngest brother, a man I have known for over 20 years and called ""brother"" myself.  You see, somewhere around August of that year, my wife had made the decision that she was a transgender male and that he wanted to eventually go through treatment and surgery to be himself.  I really had no idea how to deal with that along with everything else.  I had noticed that they had been getting more friendly but again, I've known this man for most of our lives.  To add a bit to this, I am straight, he is bi, somewhere in my wife's mind, this made sense, since we would not work out in the long run.  I said as much one day, expecting us to part years later, when he finally transitioned, not immediately, as he took it.  I had found out about the affair one day by mistake, needing to pay the tags on our cars and opening the pc to his facebook page, the homepage, which had the evidence in a message between him and a different friend.  I didn't intend to snoop but red flags started going off from what I saw when I glanced down, so I did and I was crushed with it.  I confronted him and he admitted to cheating on me, in my own home, in my own bed, for months at this point.  At that, my heart dropped.  I was a mess for three days.  I guess I deserve it for what I had done but the shear lack of empathy in him over the course of the next few weeks just burned what was left out of me.  He barely went to two marriage counseling sessions and forced me out of the house, though he swore it was just because he was done with the marriage and not as payback.  I had lost my wife, my job, my home, half my family, and most of my friends( they all knew but didn't tell me) in the span of 6 months.  As I said, it's just now about a year since, and the anger is just overwhelming ",6.252640242581763,5.240713366255143,6.346437441339978,83.7309275503574,66.22908093278464,9.758732221500253,31.2555411161649,8.841846274778883,2.1527371742112487,2800,88,614,38,38,893,300,729,0.101,0.8390000000000001,0.06,-0.9856,5,0,0,0,1,0,101.0,9,1,2,7,34,22,6,2,36,2,56,5,3,7,5,120,103,57,0,15,23,6,1,0,4,2,0,2,3,3,42,50,1,0,14,0,1,10,12,13,0,9,60,7,96,9,108,37,19,100,0,3,4,1,74,45,0,7,44,438,138,13,0.0,0.0,0.11732166301141145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.040878354265368747,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04203184476184157,0.0,0.04946721499382724,0.16053779552370082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0366438364269243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05316435194144936,0.06562694854837378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061381272537382375,0.0,0.06128838956560252,0.0,0.0,0.0517813337134816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09598939344311244,0.0,0.0,0.1550695725219718,0.061973034028225786,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0628044500540539,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12303129298096407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050216025899945116,0.06761812904122194,0.053241562955533436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2701248262295361,0.0,0.05666842805562816,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05771713451745975,0.1975499156814136,0.10988291529957904,0.1022628055438045,0.0,0.1318198392831904,0.1393275993527702,0.0,0.06281228220392686,0.0,0.10248943794202636,0.0,0.14423164225070306,0.0,0.06622036043646498,0.0,0.053157015944529165,0.0,0.0,0.05934834797596851,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0712332410796238,0.08058387504688228,0.0,0.12059486664220777,0.0,0.0,0.20808420831830785,0.0,0.13571870364379873,0.0,0.0,0.11930415711148462,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06531207628124476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05308016992044625,0.10639480276893444,0.0,0.0,0.13123912467233034,0.0,0.0,0.11375922564151285,0.04012535726562718,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18208854413996511,0.0,0.14394294279893266,0.0,0.08837876055986388,0.13371729382159853,0.04636223095796127,0.0,0.06393000185715011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06843813298154583,0.06307763720267398,0.0,0.20366789688516512,0.045718033426230896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19528694946134215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056825454712766274,0.0,0.0,0.06115571353344336,0.0,0.05751925275059355,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540376467557887,0.0,0.0,0.1290760031812151,0.0,0.051335486497427314,0.11436092692252595,0.0,0.0,0.1216735021371878,0.04790163705000628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1989017171526068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12764316408188944,0.0,0.04800567696505777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045196889950297865,0.04831590572200045,0.0525407084068666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07987174324803313,0.03851746764323758,0.11811985371704653,0.0,0.035051904597247635,0.0,0.0,0.05743977883823731,0.13357372199850362,0.08162446973344517,0.0,0.05872088034601133,0.0,0.07230756975001802,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10636719105243868,0.0,0.048218377306982085,0.0,0.0,0.05572460745366335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1312871827393917,0.0,0.0,0.042701978969975636,0.0,0.0,0.2709719812598205
divorce,Incarnadine_89,2018/04/17,"How did you pay for your divorce? (Texas) I've already paid 10k cash, 20k in a loan and still owe 8k. I'll probably owe another 10k at the end of it all. Hoping for a judgment against them requiring them to pay me.

I'll be taking a loan against my deferred comp account but other than that some credit cards I suppose.

Has anyone else spent money like this? How did you manage?",1.6022368421052633,3.9078513289473698,2.8649999999999984,91.4425,81.76315789473685,5.378947368421053,23.97368421052632,6.6274283507984215,0.7728736842105266,295,11,60,3,8,95,60,76,0.032,0.848,0.12,0.8267,2,0,0,0,1,0,10.0,0,3,2,1,3,3,0,0,4,0,4,0,0,2,1,8,10,4,0,1,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,4,1,0,1,0,0,12,0,0,0,0,0,4,0,8,3,9,5,2,4,0,0,0,0,6,2,0,2,3,36,12,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3692995178227141,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3509143798970669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23399817922047045,0.34289304144239385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2795608590309305,0.0,0.2964045204543867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3323873885567238,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.163495264885993,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36081410896721616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26725548368668434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25161850531954394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,shark_attack_mtn,2018/04/17,"Question about a friend who is hung up on his ex-wife. One of my good friends (Don) and his wife divorced around 5 years ago. He basically sent out an email to everyone saying you're either with me, or you're with her. 

Since the divorce she has been in contact with me and another friend who is also friends with Don. Don cannot understand how we can still be in contact with her. Contact is maybe her liking a photo on Instagram a few times a year. 

Recently, she has liked some of my friend's art on Instragram. He's an artist and the more exposure he gets the better. This isn't someone just posting photos of their dog or what they cook. (nothing wrong with that). Now Don has cut off our artist friend because his ex-wife likes his posts on Instagram. Don will go back to the artist's posts and unlike them if he sees his ex-wife has liked them. I think Don is being incredibly petty.

I'm not familiar with divorce. Is Don's reaction common? Are people usually this hung up on their ex-wife 5 years after the divorce? I trying to wrap my head around this.

Thank you!",3.0463136033229503,4.845287130841125,3.8242367601246094,88.82011422637592,74.88785046728971,7.185462097611631,24.505711318795427,7.984000788550335,1.2506259605399799,842,27,175,13,18,268,120,214,0.033,0.804,0.16399999999999998,0.9816,0,0,0,0,4,0,28.0,2,1,5,1,9,15,1,0,11,0,17,2,1,1,0,26,25,9,0,1,6,1,0,4,6,1,0,1,0,0,7,15,1,0,3,5,0,2,3,2,0,1,2,2,25,13,28,20,4,30,0,0,1,0,42,13,0,5,16,107,32,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1126153945877402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1015957363800976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321500064927622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22618928544500966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09768773970158004,0.0,0.07744384881764027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.112358651159578,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1213944276096234,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5889157136654294,0.0,0.0663743941848526,0.0,0.07220110584595996,0.10655711141251156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13038212204876662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2482659368285773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1276311350515966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12190057915509862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08608719693875877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0880751823564544,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3650144144881545,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14231652799775804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12543901262254845,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10102919072723186,0.0,0.0,0.10123631965272188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10509076023913223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10764258676306897,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10145619978094796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11696354445279318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0814036201408624,0.0,0.0,0.07407942685840227,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08625342909254388,0.0,0.0,0.13225558624533,0.0,0.0,0.1399192207535036,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13890088676910964,0.0,0.245433360657499
divorce,ArrrrmBaaaaaaaaar,2018/04/17,"Anyone Else Tempted To Date Purely Out Of Spite???? Before I go any further, let me be clear:

I am NOT going to date  just to spite my ex wife

But it's kinda tempting, right?

I left my neglectful (and also unfaithful) wife about 6 months ago.

She has probably had roughly 3-4 ""boyfriends"" in that short time.

She often makes a point to tell me she has a date. She assumes it upsets me and I guess she likes the idea of me being upset?

I never really care very much because I've lost all respect for her. Makes it easy to avoid feeling jealous.

I haven't really dated at all. And that's a choice. My focus is on my two amazing children (2 and 5), my career and my friends. That's how I'm healing. No dating required.

But often, when I drop the kids off at my ex's place (we have split custody), she'll ask me questions like:

What are you doing tonight?

Exciting plans?

Is it a date?

Oh, you're hanging out with a friend? Like, a male friend, errrr....?

So clearly she would have some jealous feelings if I dated or got a girlfriend.

Kinda makes me want to get a girlfriend.

And when I consider the prospect of dating, the first benefit that pops into my head is shoving in my ex's face! 

I wouldn't tell her! But I would hope that one of her friends in this small city would see my new lady and I out together and she would find out through gossip!

Or she would creep my fb and see pics of me with some babe! Ah, man that would be great!

I'm 31 years old. A father. An educated man.

These thoughts are astoundingly immature.

I'm aware of that.

That's why I won't actually be recruiting a spite girlfriend.

 But it would be pretty satisfying, right?

PSA:

If the main reason you want to date is spite...probably don't do it.",0.9376591511936354,3.2369516120689674,2.6060919540229897,92.27118037135281,84.60344827586206,5.408311229000884,21.566755083996462,6.788186056548923,0.4966511052166229,1323,44,282,16,39,434,188,348,0.092,0.7290000000000001,0.179,0.9848,0,1,0,0,0,0,66.0,1,2,0,4,9,25,5,3,16,1,32,3,2,5,6,66,54,22,0,13,10,6,3,3,7,10,1,0,0,6,17,17,0,3,8,0,0,3,7,11,1,3,4,5,46,14,30,34,6,44,0,2,2,0,39,20,0,14,23,177,63,3,0.0,0.0,0.10366849856915362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09416952161791252,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08495483169380888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07224237198643424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07428088089968572,0.10884869812903776,0.0,0.0,0.09931391203644778,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0647589099350459,0.0,0.09039682032247948,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10831205700467088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08874439511909561,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10742962340402178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09709542598625487,0.09036209714453476,0.0,0.0,0.3283027229220543,0.0,0.05550258000647075,0.0,0.1207498073010082,0.0,0.08496457468296273,0.117122726240593,0.11702809464077875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1090261425252536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10551376127878713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11992460619260074,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.115422927236415,0.10863087472817433,0.0,0.15570085637995332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11596633272226213,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2127349085670826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847945064112014,0.0,0.07809379084366247,0.0,0.08193376654166053,0.10260090397102678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1114741092862783,0.0,0.0719865182094072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11099131862684013,0.0,0.1004249244235298,0.0,0.0,0.10807758496094078,0.11453760001212596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11900574880488066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13611170479866996,0.1092256541835884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1814455292195341,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16930857147825046,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18570539197930647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08433747316292109,0.06194556449873082,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1037746200296838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08765370139493794,0.1253184531073013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09585914262578477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5282562405755967,0.0,0.0,0.06841084278279594
divorce,Neon_Leon,2018/04/17,"amicable divorce. legal questions Hi all, my ex and I are on good terms, we just need to go separate ways. We don't need a lawyer, as we are already living separately, but we do likely need to go ahead and make this legal. Do you have any advice for a cheap or free service to do this? Also is it possible to change my name back to my maiden name before the divorce is filed/completed? I'm very ready for my name back....",2.5122757475083053,4.011296174418604,4.431661129568108,85.17197674418605,75.62790697674419,7.239867109634551,23.913621262458467,7.957251820313856,1.2267295681063124,325,10,68,5,7,111,58,86,0.0,0.848,0.152,0.9091,0,0,0,0,2,0,14.0,4,1,0,1,4,3,0,0,3,0,9,0,0,1,1,18,16,6,0,3,3,1,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,6,0,0,1,0,2,2,1,0,0,0,0,0,10,4,10,16,2,8,0,0,0,0,13,1,0,2,5,44,13,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21412633291162225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2418097948812352,0.175234117019205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1490124577262662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3369870709173134,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1864591651201848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23180510734083806,0.0,0.2297483065297232,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2490674802216498,0.18379158413331215,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10705336605696364,0.0,0.19349131633399366,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14626758368208154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4874350484736161,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2470304198810617,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2454700562199137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1808010052067041,0.0,0.17393115975075932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,EatOutAllTheTime,2018/04/17,"Federal Tax Law Changing I just learned that the federal law for alimony changes in 2019 and it sounds like the higher earner is going to get screwed. How big of a deal is this???

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/taxes/2017/12/24/exes-and-taxes-how-tax-overhaul-would-alter-alimony/976413001/",16.694166666666668,22.88732341666667,8.570000000000004,49.65000000000003,50.944444444444464,8.044444444444443,31.222222222222214,8.841846274778883,3.1186888888888893,257,8,28,4,4,63,32,36,0.098,0.8370000000000001,0.065,-0.3049,0,0,0,0,0,0,26.0,0,0,0,0,2,2,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,6,4,2,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,1,4,4,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,2,1,0,1,16,4,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8067062466223107,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3930921371596521,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19920772509032886,0.0,0.21669528168532945,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1862785080768644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2708567111077554,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,V3nus1234,2018/04/17,Divorce parents My parents are threatening each other with a divorce and my mom  threatens my dad that all he cares about is his job and she uses really ignorant arguments.,5.0076344086021525,7.890076645161294,5.949677419354843,70.81118279569894,72.87096774193549,9.29462365591398,36.13978494623656,9.725611199111238,4.58692688172043,140,8,20,4,3,46,26,31,0.289,0.635,0.076,-0.8111,3,0,0,0,2,0,1.0,0,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,1,1,7,4,2,0,0,0,4,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,4,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,5,1,2,4,2,0,0,0,0,0,9,0,0,0,0,16,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3310686277237408,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3222295760794844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3803023341436569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.7211152562047536,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20802077151434434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2804495401475471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,TimeofAdversity,2018/04/17,Post Divorce 1.5 years And I'm still hurting.  I have my days.  I've finally put the house on the market and anticipate reviewing offers on Sunday. I hope moving from the home we used to share together will further help me heal.  Divorce sucks. ,2.164855072463766,5.009795195652174,3.5608695652173914,83.18811594202901,86.17391304347824,6.544927536231885,25.057971014492754,7.793537801064563,1.928171014492754,193,8,34,4,6,63,38,46,0.104,0.74,0.156,0.3818,0,0,0,0,2,0,6.0,1,0,0,0,1,4,1,0,3,0,2,1,0,1,0,5,6,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,5,2,4,5,0,11,0,1,0,0,6,3,1,1,5,17,5,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19108226256677505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3245707436936118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1985966546489936,0.0,0.2972025987711617,0.29428239878503115,0.0,0.3418783855807229,0.31718411491816995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.314908925105328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837635080500421,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29785285566918296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.23661723499581394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2558990597011916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19080077018422295
divorce,OBOMB34,2018/04/17,"I’m sure everyone’s first post is a dumb question... So. I’m here, so obviously you get a hint at what’s up. To get to the point, I’m 36/m and STBX (I’m guessing that’s the preferred term here. I have others rolling through my head.) 30, and we have a 2 year old daughter from almost 7 years married, 11 years together. 

She’s been threatening this divorce for almost a year. I’ve argued, changed, changed again, begged, forgave cheating...whatever. Anyway. I’ve been a stay at home dad for 2 years, working only a couple hours a week at night. Didn’t see this coming, so financially I’m not prepared, screwed even. I’ve laid out what I expect, and I think it’s generous. I still want to raise my child during the day, don’t see the rush for full time day care. So M-F days, and nights I don’t work (which will be like 1 or 2). Half current savings, half equity on our home. It’s not a lot of money, but it will get me into a close apartment, make sure I don’t starve the first month or two. 

That’s it. If she agrees, after talking to her lawyer of course, is it ok for my to skip dropping money on a lawyer of my own? I just want this over, so I can reclaim my life, and get through this depression that’s setting in. 

Obviously, if she refuses, I’ll be getting my own lawyer.   I put her through college, moved across the country to support her career, and have kept meticulous records of the cheating, emotional abuse, and other bullsh*t. I’m prepared to go after everything I can. But I feel at some level that’s just petty of me. I just want to get back to (re)planning my future. 

This sucks. Thanks for listening.",2.1089183523739656,3.895314322188456,3.4679174090766205,90.40571428571432,77.51063829787232,6.4832197882821525,25.63054187192118,7.372421405659032,1.1420983335080184,1248,47,269,16,29,408,176,329,0.111,0.787,0.102,-0.872,1,0,0,0,2,0,67.0,2,1,0,4,15,14,5,0,17,1,17,3,1,1,4,44,46,18,0,7,11,2,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,1,19,12,0,2,4,0,2,5,6,6,0,5,4,4,30,8,37,38,6,51,0,1,2,1,18,17,3,10,26,160,49,7,0.0,0.12964522361239614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21913735196042108,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08413749595022534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11156134052274908,0.0,0.2315044458772947,0.09425594381050592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210715373838439,0.0,0.2117012231940356,0.0,0.09424358814508647,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12308316751257407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07227110999335418,0.0,0.0,0.10455583466856906,0.09833995618496376,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.055326217275561126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1861457896502961,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34300570403123176,0.0,0.06218610717449111,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12053885299570485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11229684809344047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21951506766817747,0.0,0.10775700487127632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0772868299900109,0.05345725655620698,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09302526967329684,0.0,0.0,0.07303893408254855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08733828038914007,0.11629651673576938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2053671745086525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1148182520900728,0.0,0.0,0.08321910775016837,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1034375996580104,0.0,0.10479444986166893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10999767505014986,0.12257583535703225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17438770639625795,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11662753552798892,0.08738323380468893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12416891784104765,0.20625477212058654,0.0,0.0,0.0879479335176123,0.0,0.1007395582883132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011214284267765,0.0,0.0,0.06380388671428154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10688778371415468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1936168743469376,0.0,0.08777040559110576,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1593186377134189,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3523155933974471
divorce,notakers400,2018/04/17,"Transferred My Feelings My husband left me after 12 years. We separated, we didn’t argue, no fighting or bitter yelling. We had an easy divorce. We didn’t blame each other or get mad. He just left. 

So, I stayed there with the house when he moved on. Well, I started liking a guy at work. Don’t know why, but I did. It felt good, to think about him. Soon, all my thoughts were transferred. I wanted him to be my husband. I wanted him to hold me and listen. I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I kept calling and texting him. Not a whole lot, but enough. 

Well, it didn’t take long for him to reject me. Hell, I don’t blame him. I was crazy, back then. My therapist said I transferred my feelings. 

When, he rejected me he also got mean. It made me mad, it made me cry, I got bitter towards him....jealous, angry. I wanted to yell at him. I didn’t, but I wanted too. Then I missed him so bad...not my ex....the guy at work. I literally, felt like I was dying.  To this day, I’m still getting over the fact he didn’t like me. It’s been 2 years. I’m better now, but I still think of him. 

I’m not mad at my ex...I don’t miss my ex....I miss the guy from work...it’s so weird. I feel crazy, for crushing on him so hard. Have you ever heard of this? My therapist said, he is my Disneyland. Thinking of him was like being on a roller coaster. He was like a bandaid on a broken arm. He wasn’t real, but liking him and loving him felt...good! Thinking I had him, made me feel better. So I replaced negative thoughts of my ex...with him. I got addicted to those thoughts. They say, crushes release dopamine. I didn’t drink or use drugs...hell I probably should have. But didn’t. So, it was like a drug. I never thought about the divorce, but when the guy didn’t like me...I was broken...I mean....like I crashed and burned. I was devastated, I still cry. 

I’m not going to ask if that’s normal, I know it’s not. What I want to know??? Has this ever happened to anyone else? Like, a full blown transfer of emotions???? Can anyone relate??? Am I the only person who’s done this???? ",-1.3467495876855402,0.6411484509345833,0.9530236393622892,99.44039582188014,100.70560747663549,3.452226498075866,16.808136338647607,5.319838191461821,-0.742039417262232,1539,45,358,10,68,511,180,428,0.215,0.6729999999999999,0.112,-0.9934,0,1,3,0,5,0,129.0,4,1,1,4,25,29,8,0,14,0,35,6,1,4,5,67,86,27,1,9,16,2,7,9,0,1,3,7,0,5,16,10,1,3,19,2,0,2,20,14,2,0,38,16,73,15,33,44,6,37,1,5,0,1,50,13,1,5,30,224,89,6,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08210302990538826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06022832414476303,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532215492366964,0.07716776718808922,0.0,0.0,0.07040812590594027,0.0,0.0,0.057911572486703075,0.06288377846865116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13321766254421466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07690368971698362,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16545708605175985,0.04857109423119322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07816371123666865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07707204485802323,0.0,0.07377873596963258,0.08733996040463514,0.0,0.06291491712358169,0.08471775510783262,0.0,0.07781916594061483,0.0,0.0,0.13625107399936925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15232344181311047,0.0,0.21693883594125066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07869658059116548,0.0,0.0428025009851958,0.1263390861614858,0.18070569417184768,0.0,0.0,0.2982895432247562,0.0665996401099239,0.0,0.06746626579982143,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08690187701669393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12417128972300027,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16365707133379706,0.0,0.0,0.33115014628482,0.0,0.0,0.0666502384311006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06402899904422223,0.06797353828883664,0.2137908802522274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16407735693798325,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08004652483214943,0.0,0.0,0.058086554364065575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0737914175790154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05727944879181684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06576100198479906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08120088713913916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08572345817928817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14328111614890987,0.05989246265648221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.053307411632591915,0.080274364020416,0.18043681077446705,0.0629656103285024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056626515828480564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17488997879893028,0.0,0.24128983139894195,0.0,0.2391626029942137,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06504683990789993,0.0,0.0,0.22210980425074725,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13543208953913974,0.0,0.0679588835525358,0.08408503615013205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16448777204900994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09699908367751904
divorce,jennybella,2018/04/17,"Got divorced today We have been seperated for almost a year and finilised the paper work today. He asked for the divorce at the first place. There were tears, arguments, but eventually we reached the agreement that it's the right decision to end it. I have since moved on and met someone already. Ex-husband is still someone I care about a lot. Saw him today and he's still so sad, cried a lot. Apparently he is still sad and somewhat guilty. This is really painful for me too. I wanted to stay friends, but me still being in his life wouldn't help for him to get over this. Decided I'd cut him off so that he can eventually move on. 

Came home alone and I just feel exhausted. Feel I've lost the ability to function again, really needed to let it out but also can't even get started talking about it. ",3.0528571428571425,5.096942278481016,3.9721880650994583,86.68506329113924,75.58227848101266,7.299095840867992,26.475587703435806,8.192908349453996,1.7008321880650996,632,24,127,11,14,203,101,158,0.217,0.69,0.094,-0.9705,1,1,0,0,2,0,18.0,2,0,0,3,14,9,1,0,9,0,12,3,0,0,0,24,26,11,0,3,4,0,2,0,1,1,3,0,1,0,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,2,6,0,1,7,3,12,3,18,16,3,25,0,3,1,0,17,9,0,4,12,83,20,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340223213055615,0.13861880109794533,0.14769675385793132,0.10703251397078084,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12512316798938056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15307832624881984,0.13645971068884233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1470179365428976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1185433053312184,0.0,0.0,0.08840064770325683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1353479541847488,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11384499541956365,0.0,0.0,0.10340514211259673,0.0,0.13985268528028608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10704478892444666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08971072949561577,0.0,0.1342533286418016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13686138133858242,0.09453578104275312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14610314539814792,0.22757348247856665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2845033764119588,0.0,0.09924132644763987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14241614689481005,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13983524685657628,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17148380680638933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11429939153502433,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1107145699639654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2268059090287997,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473327311245924,0.14265658409919102,0.4275420409317067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1075762401855296,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.38059655156751865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07894282653249822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09743776431800934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08618914710222546
divorce,cuuh,2018/04/17,"How to check if my dad paid child support all these years? 
My mom n dad separated when i was around 11 and my mom never let us see him and always said bad things about him. We lived off a guy who was friends with my mom over the internet, they never met because he lived on the other side of the country. He paid her a monthly check so thats how we survived, she never once got a job until i was around 18. She also got very mean and was verbally abusive, would make anyone feel like scum. As time went on I started to notice the type of person she was and it wasnt the person who i thought she was all these years, I use to feel bad for her because I thought she had the worst luck, bad things would always happen to her, job and money wise. She was always making stories to people around us, even me, but I always caught her in the lies but i never said anything, but she wanted everyone to know how smart and successful she was.

Now fast forward 6 years my mom n I werent on talking terms because of how mean and how bad the lying has gotten i kinda re connected with my father and it went well, but my mom was furious and basically said she disowns me. I dont think i did anything wrong by talking to my father who was trying to reconnect with me for a few years. He claims my mom is bat shit crazy, and his stories actually make sense. He claims hes paid child support till my brother n i were 18. But how can i find out who is telling the truth? Either way my mom will never admit it and will always hate me for the fact i started to speak to my father, im assuming its because she was scared id find out about all the lies.

Sorry about how this was written, im on my phone and very tired but theres been a lot of crazy shit thats been happening in my life recently and im starting to feel like im going crazy. If people are curious about that part i can write about it when i hop on my computer.

",3.184729248307804,3.9224247930174583,4.443736195226219,88.7112188279302,72.89027431421447,7.224830780192376,24.795244032775198,7.310402129719878,0.9189443534022086,1486,42,329,15,28,491,179,401,0.168,0.75,0.08199999999999999,-0.9917,3,0,0,0,0,0,28.0,4,0,1,2,23,22,4,1,16,0,31,4,2,11,10,73,70,35,0,5,9,13,3,2,1,4,2,4,0,5,18,23,0,0,13,0,6,5,7,11,1,0,34,8,59,11,44,31,9,43,0,0,1,0,61,16,2,6,25,216,77,5,0.0,0.07399657090705426,0.06094510117156,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0499436268881453,0.2598294188209712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04366857689681022,0.0,0.10278696517218217,0.166789183496308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20858252416961426,0.15228303186502054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0731944294067792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04124960539343321,0.0,0.0,0.05967650036170907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09473431212298136,0.08923284518586723,0.0,0.0,0.11416178765395485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.048251018726861127,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03549346871989911,0.0,0.09989870928047732,0.0,0.0,0.06183827070982805,0.110453930896034,0.0,0.0,0.06165938973109403,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26983974881182504,0.0,0.12394989533416167,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.034322525446329966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06386240508969393,0.044112387916699664,0.06102274445658387,0.0,0.1102942540352684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05309529168701111,0.0,0.0,0.12506355068598604,0.0,0.0,0.1360592115431824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5120092413641634,0.049849374143061384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2408379478900968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07110313358151585,0.0,0.06651038724742413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06763049316390488,0.0,0.08659406787030938,0.1090630693633526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061664785027978626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1782212615079144,0.0,0.06252632967528991,0.0,0.04976694058644605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12821417644799474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06991099989304644,0.1326136256365907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14174180702479425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10039468199957102,0.05458665871741796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08298197192323756,0.04001734892150437,0.0,0.09916138278088917,0.03641683585285253,0.07178051523970823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04240147504127938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15024649466333753,0.053939324209065734,0.0,0.10306050098743737,0.036836386697513206,0.04957226991284056,0.0,0.0,0.056152730834474175,0.11578907941932765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872961264784864,0.06828253143689912,0.0,0.1608706904093141
divorce,opencoins,2018/04/17,Anyone reconcile and how? This sub is so full of terrible divorce stories and sentiments. Has anyone been able to reconcile and how did you get that to happen especially in the case of infidelity.,5.800190476190476,8.374466542857142,7.165714285714286,64.46761904761905,69.28571428571428,11.523809523809526,34.52380952380953,11.20814326018867,5.115095238095238,159,8,24,6,3,54,28,35,0.09,0.91,0.0,-0.5209,0,0,0,0,1,0,3.0,0,1,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,0,4,0,0,2,0,7,6,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,2,0,1,0,5,4,1,2,0,0,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,20,3,0,0.4993390385564913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6982989319392753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.260884038186983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4415638627030059,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,sheCalls-MeGoliath,2018/04/17,"I think I want a divorce I (M/34) have been married (F/32) for 5 years, together 14 years, we have a 3 year old.

I just want out at this point, This relationship doesn't do anything for me and I have no desire to keep trying to fix it.  When I talk I realize I'm talking to the wall, I'm not going to go deep into all the reasons why I want a divorce because I feel like my decision on this matter is already final. We have been through pre-marriage counselling and marriage counseling and it's helped with arguments, we don't really fight anymore but things are just numb. I can't be helped, I'm so incompatibile with her I think it's killing me. I could probably force myself to live in a connectionless relationship forever but the thought of it takes me to a dark place that I don't even want to be in. 

I feel trapped in my marriage for multiple reasons. (1) I want to be involved in my child's life, I enjoy the time we spend together now.  I have a difficult job and I work long hours. I realize that if my wife and I separate today that I could never provide a suitable environment for a child because of my current job, if my wife decided to be difficult she would be awarded full custody and I don't even know when I'd see my child or have any time to myself. Regardless if my wife was difficult or not I think it's obvious that full-custody would be best for the child. I'm not disputing any of this. This is the sort of lack of involvement that I'd like to avoid. 

(2) I fear getting taken to the cleaners. My income has continuously increased since our relationship began, hers has stayed steady and has even began to decline due to the fact that she's accepting part-time positions (to my disapproval). She has great potential but never tries to advance in her career.  Our incomes are now $50,000 apart and if she wanted spousal support I can't imagine escaping this. We always agreed if we split we'd be on our own, I don't have a prenup and this isn't in writing so I'm being realistic and not trusting a verbal agreement. 

The work I do is stressful, she doesn't appreciate a thing about it and she's constantly spending much more than what she earns. This is a job I never planned to do forever. I'm taking courses in my (very limited) spare time so that I can find work that would be more suitable for a joint-custody parenting situation.  I expect a major paycut for the first 3-5 years. 

My plan has been to take the paycut and start a new career when our annual incomes are a little more closely aligned and then file for divorce and hit the road. She says she's on board with this career change (by the conversations we've had anyway, her actions don't make it seem so),  

Obviously I'm feeling guilty about this because she has no idea I intend to leave her.  I keep going back to wanting to leave immediately but then I fear getting forced into continuing to work a job that I don't want to keep doing, (1), (2). A job that we agreed together that I'd eventually quit. 

I've been in my head a lot and I guess I'm just looking for someone who went through something similar and stories about how it all turned out. 

For the record I honestly think my wife will be cooperative in a divorce and I'm probably being paranoid (I can't help it), she isn't a horrible person. I don't want anything we have accumulated together, she can have whatever she wants that she has an entitlement to. I want to help her find a place to live and I want to support my child.  

All I want is my freedom. I want to be able to raise my child and to not be trapped into alimony for the rest of my life. 

So I'm curious what anyone with similar experience has to say, is this plan going to backfire? Is there something else I should be considering? ",4.713934813287015,5.3293873284574484,5.992646547980898,79.43285714285716,69.33244680851064,9.330264871906213,31.836300477637863,9.450634623807732,2.7862608228397727,2949,124,595,60,49,994,293,752,0.11,0.778,0.112,-0.7917,10,3,2,0,5,0,81.0,13,0,0,14,23,22,2,4,38,0,75,4,1,5,9,123,134,41,1,29,19,5,3,2,0,5,3,2,0,7,37,37,0,5,21,0,2,8,24,10,0,1,11,7,99,12,78,100,15,71,0,0,2,0,68,28,0,11,36,402,136,14,0.06060240672313672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0668762627932889,0.0,0.05042605715123225,0.0,0.0,0.08242342943361854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06010130311689101,0.04237461185695812,0.0,0.09974123414688248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046599510006771434,0.0,0.11082799394166402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359848698455874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0641093107207107,0.0,0.0,0.06548967226829551,0.0,0.09677218101141742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050625534486197984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12008195425716495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0592807824653549,0.0,0.13638911207100893,0.09192719321339927,0.043294371471942296,0.0,0.06638697434295797,0.1107790036795582,0.05154837619994627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.063324512481486,0.0,0.1377669772950783,0.0,0.0,0.06681436735754824,0.06676038338128193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.062195553092701174,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16248206313044244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05968116319707646,0.0,0.0,0.06841274064012227,0.0,0.0,0.3006926878397623,0.16159861082374366,0.06704758404559365,0.0,0.03330549784518025,0.0,0.0,0.12833839684610476,0.0,0.0,0.0856105441892821,0.05921454955824231,0.060739532360079077,0.10702607084818064,0.05363122290345173,0.05089075854128285,0.0,0.0,0.051521999033438036,0.0,0.0,0.04045257707309419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04454974194379361,0.0,0.1402209362542512,0.05853018205070434,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06359203143384044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06729180085473585,0.0656265008197339,0.0,0.0,0.05291568400684641,0.12663323292183018,0.0,0.057288862782312974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13067928879561505,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06445811924774865,0.0,0.0,0.038823453560153626,0.12461873485594255,0.0,0.1951929150091808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0963869324574722,0.0,0.0,0.048292271938291366,0.05517015501352583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050130937089369984,0.0681196442981115,0.0,0.0,0.05134822255427066,0.09330938692236412,0.0,0.0,0.04289469539751176,0.0645941021600733,0.0,0.0,0.06941985214719397,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13754178595680874,0.0,0.0,0.13669640337967484,0.0974198378913811,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08052309237558503,0.1553263008410126,0.0,0.04811154158365027,0.10601325213571837,0.0,0.05744399552010891,0.0,0.0,0.08229011223711091,0.06591801609560373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.050003332344055684,0.5004281749533125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05617903818187975,0.054684245966253806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17647709546249624,0.0,0.0,0.12915063290437118,0.0,0.0,0.15610385200699078
divorce,icyii,2018/04/17,"STBX is messaging girls on Tinder a month after separation while I'm still living with him This is killing me. So many things are killing me right now. On February 23 my STBX asked for a separation. He is 28M, I am 26F. We have been together 7 years, married for 4.5 years. We married early (I was 22, he was 24) because we were long-distance and didn't want to be long-distance anymore. Now I see what a huge mistake it was. We have no kids or property, thankfully. We do have 3 cats, and I'm taking 1 home.

He seemed resolute about the divorce and I understood it was for the best. (We're too different, sex is bad, we want different things in life.) But it still hurt like hell for me because I still loved him. Still do, obviously, since this is killing me. But I accepted it, because I had seen the signs, neither of us were happy, and we needed to find someone better. 

Because I moved to the US from a different country to be with him, I'm moving back to my home country of Singapore. Because rent where we live is insanely expensive, we have lived with his parents for the past 7 months, and I have continued to live with him and his parents since the separation. There is no extra room so I have been sleeping in the same room in the same bed as him. We have separate blankets, always have, so it's not as painful. My plans were to fly home at the end of April after settling logistics. So I thought he'd be able to stay off girls for just a couple months until I was on the other side of the world.

He promised he didn't cheat on me and that he wouldn't date while I was still here. He promised he didn't have anyone lined up. I was content. I was happy to have the opportunity to find someone else better for me, and happy that we would still be able to remain friends. I love his family and they said I'd always be a part of this family, so I kept things civil as I didn't want to lose a friend or a family.

Then he went to Vegas with his best friend and I found out he had a two-night stand with some random woman. It wrecked me. For two whole weeks it was all I could think about. A lot of crying ensued. 

I finally got over it because he technically didn't do anything wrong, we were separated, it was Vegas, he honestly didn't think I would find out. (Which was dumb, because he's a horrible liar, and I always find out things.) 

Then he hit me with another curveball - the title of this post - I found out a few days ago that he's been messaging girls on Tinder. 2 girls to be exact. He started using Tinder 2 weeks ago - approximately when I found out about his two-night stand in Vegas and when he explicitly promised not to see other girls again while I was still here. He said he was just messaging them, and promised he wouldn't see them, call them, send pictures, video chat, or anything but message them. He would not stop messaging them. Apparently these girls know that he is still living with his separated wife but are willing to wait for me to leave to meet up with him. (Not smart, girls. He might do the same to you later.) 

I want to murder him. He started using Tinder a month after our separation. While I was still here. He said he was ""curious to see what was out there."" I asked him if he thought about how I'd feel if I found out. He said he didn't think I would. Really? After I found out about Vegas, you thought you'd be able to hide more things from me?

Now it hurts like hell whenever I look at his phone, or when I think about him texting the other girls, flirting with them and saying sweet things like he used to when we first met. 

I was supposed to fly back to the US in July to pick up my cat and more belongings. But now I'm so mad and so hurt that I've decided I can't fly back so soon. It's still too raw. Besides, he said he'd probably have a girlfriend by then. He'll have a girlfriend in 3 months. Seriously. 

I guess I just needed to vent. I understand that he's been over this relationship for awhile. Our marriage started going downhill about 2 years ago, and for the past 6 months it hasn't been good at all. We stopped having sex 4 months ago - not that it was ever good. So I understand why he's able to move on so fast. I just don't understand why he couldn't have waited 1 more month. Until I was gone. Then do whatever the hell you want! It was just 1 month.

I asked why he didn't wait. He said he was curious and didn't think I would find out. Part of me wants to think this is his coping mechanism. That he is more upset about this divorce than he lets on and he's distracting himself with other girls. I want to believe this.

I want us to stay friends. Before the whole Vegas situation I was convinced we would be able to stay close friends. Now I don't know anymore. If he starts posting happy photos of him and another hot, sexy, young thing I think I might stab the computer screen.

tl;dr: STBX, husband of 4.5 years, together for 7, is messaging girls on Tinder a month after separation, while I'm still living with him and his parents, and we're sleeping in the same room, in the same bed. It hurts like hell, and I'm angry he couldn't wait till I left in a month. 

Has anyone been in this situation? Why couldn't he wait for another month? Any advice for someone who feels like she's dying?

Edit: for clarity",2.5615163764510767,4.2308500625000045,3.7833184079602016,89.15305804311775,75.89365671641791,7.115190713101161,23.75812603648425,7.908726449838941,1.0815377777777773,4105,127,888,63,90,1338,341,1072,0.104,0.795,0.101,-0.9139,8,0,0,0,3,0,144.0,21,4,7,8,58,58,12,2,39,0,108,8,2,5,6,167,188,65,5,26,22,5,3,5,7,12,2,7,9,12,48,60,0,8,31,2,2,7,26,24,0,2,64,18,122,34,128,95,22,144,4,5,7,4,153,46,5,14,89,567,170,2,0.1792210683120911,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03502655074557581,0.12709493078255066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08947577156166088,0.0,0.0,0.02437529444090497,0.11275735001882488,0.0,0.0,0.0710956566511786,0.05012621522448444,0.0,0.05899346743846765,0.0,0.10052850348357054,0.0,0.0,0.08268596332539795,0.0299284211943143,0.15295209968253046,0.0,0.030500785775635742,0.04038415426827571,0.07523258165292401,0.0634025882705646,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.036600949772668964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.028618687939229743,0.03966094064962583,0.03937318559355957,0.02311655249444906,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03720063471007827,0.11234872267572664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02994324108591241,0.0,0.03174733417863049,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03242314337761736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10137220376281576,0.0,0.03624782285166794,0.02560711340244411,0.0,0.03926558401585698,0.16380480957383886,0.030489069830227894,0.0,0.19650665085621166,0.1384657528008395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.020371092654580272,0.06012885160567572,0.028667892097069825,0.0,0.03948644246153408,0.0,0.0,0.1526273278563557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10786400658584466,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15348788829311566,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11896893496615955,0.0,0.03939808484338887,0.0,0.0,0.0379538467726212,0.0389448430229711,0.036653136989598566,0.0253178281491004,0.08755836117145344,0.0,0.18990658416211173,0.06344200227923229,0.0301001118805379,0.04010050649347685,0.0,0.030473468654577406,0.06470160456373697,0.0,0.0,0.036340406681895865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07605009256342077,0.0,0.0,0.34332611245915823,0.11429017953391565,0.0,0.053156060500601884,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06727473273710917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0381407705417825,0.0,0.11940227218625575,0.07763158080655354,0.06843471559618891,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06865769686556343,0.0,0.03864612481681022,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.022962721115691857,0.0,0.0,0.038483271150946914,0.0,0.030610762618249077,0.20457633261177774,0.028504757385746645,0.0,0.0,0.1142527900918404,0.032631225903749034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05930140789087189,0.08058079594047704,0.0717401998496983,0.0,0.09111205775189132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014828756776594,0.1146154876192629,0.3148775886593209,0.059934735238847923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.02695038780670813,0.0,0.0,0.033000536118371546,0.0,0.0,0.16669311985731994,0.16077267352275434,0.0,0.08536890543132307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10504376514069516,0.11194527161000004,0.172464702617065,0.09287367598751667,0.0,0.0,0.16913476727717758,0.0,0.057504132220707285,0.0,0.0,0.03322794517287154,0.12937531047817627,0.08003756896684695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15277620579030404,0.03919002072092535,0.0,0.09232999359955907
divorce,CoraLeaves1234,2018/04/18,"A little of an update and a question. Hello! Well a bit of a recap, stbx asked for a divorce Jan 2015. Due to financial reasons we continued to live together until Jan 2018, however I was having a hard time getting past a minimum wage job so we worked together and came up with child/spousal support that would allow me to get on my own place. That finally occurred Feb 2018. I can now say I am doing a bit better, still heartboken but it is peaceful and healing to be on my own. I got a better job in March, I am in a 90 day trial period but if I do all that is required of me during the summer, it should be a permanent job that will take me in the right direction. I have lost 10 pounds, and my anxiety is a bit better as well. Overall I am in a much better place. As by my past posts I have known that my stbx began dating a mere 7 weeks after our initial talk, so now we are up to girl #3 that I know of, I know not my business anymore, however he has gotten even more serious with this one. My daughter who is 11, came to talk that her dad has been on his phone a lot and mentioned her name and how they were saying I love you etc. She asked me if she had to meet her soon? and what did she have to do or say. She said she was scared that the girl would want to try and act like her mom. I assured that would not be the case and tried to make her feel better, but I could she was really uneasy about it, so my question.. should I or should I not approach her dad? I don't want to do something that would make my daughter not confide in me or create any issues with my ex as we are getting along okay. Thanks for reading! ",3.5303911205074034,3.706909058139537,4.949460887949262,87.42746300211418,71.7906976744186,7.998731501057082,26.392177589852015,7.84624498591911,1.2975395348837209,1252,37,282,15,22,421,180,344,0.044,0.8029999999999999,0.153,0.9894,6,0,1,0,1,0,33.0,5,1,1,8,12,16,0,1,20,1,40,2,0,5,2,57,63,25,0,12,12,6,2,1,0,8,1,4,0,2,16,19,0,1,7,1,1,4,5,3,2,1,14,6,52,13,38,37,10,39,0,1,0,1,47,14,0,8,21,206,68,7,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06300082694081757,0.0,0.07087210273664818,0.0,0.09187756012104188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17321852572057705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4096786913608099,0.3034284600580952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2119192026439464,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07396837853605583,0.0,0.0,0.059747459736410075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10332210660221054,0.06119022605470585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046843389317732485,0.0,0.0,0.10148653872922388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14520737656896818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0740955524924717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08299047125135654,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09669585199331776,0.2758034425765165,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10182900276489283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04526098482837067,0.09285322857781347,0.08180599877965902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10113143655040052,0.07876227832438779,0.08361446877689221,0.0,0.12368064881574076,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10850306816739087,0.0,0.0,0.06810370793220717,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06277770304433669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17687760385714124,0.0,0.0,0.19358569394858088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08872696263975638,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20756407574287775,0.0,0.09266867369867036,0.0,0.059349864372192175,0.09525305367894094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07911713078642749,0.08812528164742338,0.2210217346998426,0.09275240843421832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0713215717647866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0739853010475669,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10513086283524058,0.0,0.0,0.06965645983537509,0.14892683766671935,0.0,0.08529378260386407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05402122994339987,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257978503349221,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10928719475305457,0.0,0.07431311016984311,0.0,0.16659545033599402,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06744564638144031,0.0,0.0,0.26324543005362583,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,boardattheborder,2018/04/18,Falling in love... (one sentence rant) The single most enjoyable way to destroy yourself.,4.453333333333333,7.258319571428577,3.93,75.19833333333334,103.28571428571428,4.723809523809524,40.38095238095238,6.42735559955562,4.050980952380954,70,5,8,1,3,21,14,14,0.26,0.51,0.229,-0.1548,0,0,0,0,0,0,6.0,0,0,0,0,0,3,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,1,0,1,0,0,0,2,2,1,2,3,0,0,0,1,1,1,0,1,0,6,0,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6541171760799703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4911108619935041,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.575274578952662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bvlm,2018/04/18,"Signed papers today. (Rambly stream of consciousness) Signed the divorce agreement today. I’m not really sure how I feel. It’s been almost 10 months since we separated but putting pen to paper brought about this sense of finality.

The only step left is to sell the house. It’s annoying waiting for that to happen because I can’t apply for my own mortgage before the place sells.  I’ve found some great options for my own place but until the old mortgage is off my credit, I’m in limbo.

2 months to go until the magic 1 year mark, and then the book will close on a 10 year period of my life. Sometimes I find myself lamenting “wasted time”, others I just shrug it off as something that happened and resolve myself to live my best life in my years to come.

Anyway. Sorry for the random stream of consciousness in to the aether.  I’m not really sure how I’m feeling right now, and thought venting in to the cosmos might help.",3.7450465549348233,5.699095608938552,4.4896983240223465,84.12825325884545,73.35754189944134,6.561042830540037,24.223836126629426,7.3011,1.1312030540037248,730,22,134,8,15,234,112,179,0.091,0.777,0.132,0.8748,2,0,1,0,1,0,18.0,1,0,0,2,6,8,1,0,11,0,6,2,0,2,2,31,20,11,0,0,5,0,2,0,0,2,2,0,0,0,7,6,0,1,8,1,3,5,3,1,0,0,4,2,13,7,27,14,4,32,0,0,0,0,3,12,0,5,15,81,20,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14596362617212974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08885762075472603,0.0,0.12403615789247607,0.0,0.15297245856555608,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1255645304077856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14740737211037555,0.0,0.0,0.159679564144921,0.13322751337165614,0.0,0.0,0.15982493140876924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08284219572350056,0.0,0.0,0.16070756596250346,0.0,0.0,0.25780084313340856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0977038992920632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16819443113958502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1583752213411378,0.0,0.2059177198185437,0.0,0.0,0.12871407768106652,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15463472577924536,0.0,0.0,0.2326981136751087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15295693112910916,0.0,0.0,0.11086163655219904,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3045889594961641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1465351239958702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1867629065623627,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12448339571497832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12057916878774246,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11221781367396644,0.14416633384750044,0.1631731398830112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2747655220317216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11572194796421592,0.08499734605147878,0.0,0.27633831058507274,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2816056383408251
divorce,fadecomic,2018/04/18,"Find myself wishing for divorce often I'm not sure what I'm looking for posting here. Maybe just an outlet. I have been married 20 years this July, married at 21 just after college. I find myself wishing for a divorce a lot lately. There is no connection at all anymore. I always thought it was silly when fictional characters said, ""I don't know you anymore"", but now I get it. There's a virtual stranger in my bed. She lives a separate life from me. 

I feel alone in my own house. She and the kids just disappear and leave me at home alone often. If I confront her about this, she responds that I should've been more proactive and asked the kids what was going on the same way she did. I suppose there is truth to this, but she is also the recipient of the information, and it feels like a game to have to get the same information again. 

But more than anything, she simply does not talk to me. I am constantly trying to start conversations, especially about the state of the marriage. She literally says nothing back. She just sits there. If I push enough, she will say she's just listening, and eventually go to this repeated, ""what do you want me to say?"" This is odd to me, because I just want to have a conversation, not a sounding board. 
There's no yelling or anger or fighting. Just nothing. Anger would actually be preferable to the nothing.

On top of that, she has decreed that I am suffering from depression, and that she won't discuss the marriage until I get help. The problem is that I know the cause of my depression is the marriage. Seeking help seems circular, because the cause is the marriage, but she won't address the marriage until I ""fix"" the depression, which is cause by the marriage.... 

That being said, I have seen a therapist. I have taken anti-depressants. But I guess it isn't good enough to spark the discussion. 

On top of all of this, she doesn't seem to feel that anything is really wrong. She seems content with the state of the marriage. I am not. I am honestly afraid to even bring up the idea. I did float it as a question a few weeks ago, and I got exactly the answer I expected, because it's the one I get about everything: ""if it's what you want"". That's it. No emotion, just plainly stated, and 100% laid on me with one sentence. ",3.6602702020202007,5.471545415909091,4.5971212121212135,83.87262626262627,73.25,7.707070707070707,29.494949494949488,8.430304187100639,2.208146464646465,1773,76,345,31,36,575,200,440,0.149,0.78,0.07,-0.9899,0,2,0,0,5,0,72.0,0,3,0,2,26,17,4,1,35,0,35,1,0,3,5,71,68,23,0,12,22,0,3,1,0,4,1,8,3,2,27,10,0,0,17,1,0,5,12,11,0,2,12,13,55,6,46,50,11,37,0,4,2,0,50,12,0,13,15,258,82,1,0.0,0.0,0.0880249480547916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07995936435051043,0.0,0.0,0.1868458517797024,0.0,0.07213516883205055,0.0750559787584556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17891393398330135,0.0,0.0,0.1484584830620179,0.0,0.08432746754111528,0.0,0.0,0.06936040671855716,0.0,0.16496041985159474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2779894551039748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09747721175037956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3107662537628389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07893710250649193,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1014660403481805,0.0,0.18640726778328312,0.0,0.059578117063361476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08106848534818928,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13682778013868044,0.06444091823029595,0.0,0.0,0.16488750096243868,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18850901824212227,0.0,0.10252869156976467,0.0756578523456907,0.0721434416065771,0.0,0.0993685844194424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12092210821058134,0.0,0.09048079100977577,0.0,0.0,0.10408195246067437,0.0,0.10182801310229493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09914623034319674,0.0,0.1017527187590266,0.09551177041947348,0.0,0.0,0.06371292491597831,0.04406854536044511,0.0,0.07965074957269104,0.0,0.07574765722056617,0.0,0.0,0.07668721854356599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09062086464660674,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25965613828063283,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12224754122008333,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08638937470343548,0.0,0.0,0.08631192408223796,0.0,0.0,0.10104781106464443,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05778624128794435,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716070910258751,0.2151987275177218,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2463518000451901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06384602581459994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08501509772997287,0.0,0.0,0.07250161619317692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10473243550137483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07161096954911864,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061241799032354,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15961189479924615,0.07159880614115986,0.072355267540328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2074576007350384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06407750085000584,0.0986226319628713,0.0,0.05808766371129755
divorce,SleeplessinSyracuseN,2018/04/18,"PLEASE HELP I need some tips on letting go I’m in my early fifties.  We were married 10 years, two kids.  She’s younger than me, my second wife.  (first wife passed away).



She filed almost one year ago, divorce was final eight months ago.  We agreed on most things so the divorce process was swift.



The divorce was my fault.  I had become overweight, drinking too much, travelling constantly for work, leaving her to run everything on her own.  I was a good financial provider and was under the delusion that was sufficient, based on my observation of my parents’ marriage.  


She lost all attraction and respect for me, and by the time she hit that point there was no recovering the relationship.  We tried counselling and some church stuff, but she was already long gone.  I’ll spare you the gory failed-marriage details.



Since the divorce I’ve been concentrating on improving myself.  I go to the gym and lift weights at least 3x per week.  I’ve lost over 30 pounds and have visible abs.   I’ve revamped my wardrobe, I get a good haircut, wear good cologne etc.  I treated myself to a nice sports car that I’ve always wanted.  



I went to a counselor for a while after the divorce, and she said I was doing fine and didn’t need any help.



I’ve been dating quite a bit.  I’m active on multiple online dating sites.  I’ve met several very nice ladies and had some relationships.  I’m currently seeing a woman who is my same age, attractive and a successful business owner.  We’ve been seeing each other on-and-off for a couple months now.  The sex is great.



I try to keep communication with my ex-wife to a bare minimum.  Unless it pertains to custody logistics (drop off time, etc), I ignore her.  In the beginning she was texting and calling quite often, and I never answered or replied unless it’s something about the kids.  I think she has finally gotten the message.



This is my problem:  I’m still totally obsessed with my ex-wife.  I think about her constantly.  I cyber-stalk her, checking her Facebook page every day.  I can still see her bank accounts and health records, and I go on them constantly.   I know who she is currently dating, and I cyber stalk him as well.  



When I see her in person, I feel like lightning strikes me.  I have told no one this, but I am still in love with her.  Deeply, madly in love with her.



I act cool when I see her.  I try to come across like I don’t care.  But inside, seeing her with someone else rips my heart out.



She’s beautiful.  I mean stunning.  On my personal rating scale, she is a 10/10.  She’s a very devoted mother.



I need help letting go.  I want to be over her.  I want to stop constantly thinking about her.  I want to stop obsessing over what she’s doing and who she is doing it with.  I want her out of my head and out of my heart.  



Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.   


",2.6892629716981133,5.0197610790441205,3.618533573806882,87.40107796892342,77.91544117647058,6.532130965593786,25.70532741398447,7.636893063338952,1.4389601553829077,2193,84,429,33,53,701,273,544,0.066,0.741,0.193,0.9974,3,0,2,0,5,0,85.0,3,1,1,7,14,29,1,2,25,1,37,11,4,0,3,69,81,29,0,10,7,4,2,2,0,1,2,1,0,5,15,31,3,4,7,4,3,12,5,8,1,6,25,10,86,21,57,50,15,76,1,2,6,3,66,26,0,8,39,276,101,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0711230693261277,0.12903613659687166,0.0,0.07288203410663391,0.0,0.08031826151981576,0.0,0.06056159654442118,0.0,0.0,0.09899037841082514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0683823744249197,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08038351672002053,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07946059213365779,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.074319961077311,0.0,0.0742074991070379,0.0,0.0,0.06269643080099818,0.0,0.31461187598657697,0.0,0.0,0.08053341740248486,0.0,0.04693925409859088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07129999621312533,0.0,0.0,0.060801168435670176,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16234539969395054,0.0,0.0,0.0613231305232614,0.0,0.06541300217967315,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03680146007419826,0.051996455916918635,0.0,0.15946125408557002,0.0,0.06190949953867057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03802630815229426,0.0,0.16545787173219592,0.18314171921957326,0.0,0.16048785044379385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0746967382748316,0.07736532155300449,0.0,0.17249729390097518,0.14635548130651185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06469320574675247,0.0,0.0,0.03999983812261248,0.0,0.0,0.0770670824772355,0.0,0.1488518593833022,0.0,0.07111655882891631,0.0,0.0,0.06441099437780243,0.0,0.0,0.15890329793224434,0.0,0.13137967081956006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07928242992095327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11618998720557196,0.0,0.05350415341152994,0.16190384560913448,0.05613502388948558,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09863979382300872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08081732192326407,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12710326710984585,0.0,0.07989428666080921,0.06880381275707892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06964385795385188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15482815165131147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15628420747713406,0.0,0.0,0.06923365455213641,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3479935479272909,0.0,0.0,0.08222449405673775,0.0,0.060207157924224014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166911539957465,0.0560321960891346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17437468609143994,0.12170031700806608,0.0,0.0,0.08331954833951975,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04835403865043382,0.13990993886442876,0.0,0.0,0.08488113972438527,0.0,0.0,0.06954763156705969,0.0,0.14824539707574375,0.0,0.07109877917703902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1201078097466641,0.21464759451144005,0.0,0.05838243126164469,0.08863053985275253,0.06544099288479856,0.06747091557090923,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05298716208704128,0.0,0.0,0.0517032196267999,0.0,0.0,0.09374021129516752
divorce,curious-throwaway123,2018/04/18,"Giving rings back... Ours is a semi-amicable separation after 4 years with no kids, we gradually came to the realization that we aren't the right people for each other and got married for the wrong reasons.

We started legal paperwork a couple of weeks ago and have already signed a financial settlement agreement. Actual divorce proceedings are yet to start. My STBX gave me back the engagement and wedding ring immediately after we signed that first document. As a gesture, I felt it was very powerful and had a greater impact on me than I was expecting, aside from it just being a surprise. It was the sobering moment when I realized that our marriage was truly at an end and she had given up. I felt alone and single.

I guess my question is, if you were/are motivated to give back your ring(s), at what stage did/would you do it?",7.297369175627239,7.5938788516129065,7.875053763440863,69.27702508960574,63.70967741935483,11.017921146953404,35.286738351254485,10.746095033038511,3.9610071684587815,662,28,113,16,9,220,110,155,0.057,0.7929999999999999,0.149,0.9273,1,1,0,0,1,0,21.0,6,3,0,3,6,4,0,0,12,0,13,0,0,2,0,25,24,9,0,2,2,0,2,0,0,0,0,2,0,1,9,13,0,0,6,0,0,1,2,1,0,1,12,4,19,3,16,11,3,23,0,0,0,0,18,5,0,3,16,87,28,2,0.0,0.0,0.17366023628671468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15774802954500905,0.0,0.0,0.18430965019745507,0.19637983320617855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4105135493697664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2035352530844396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1969058938498276,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15761696801438302,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34173300857896083,0.0,0.0,0.15137002424140622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.34142489406750776,0.0,0.0,0.14232836704585822,0.0,0.19603955731976574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12337288804438958,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19935242375625847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1829693028826877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15197419617499885,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2519175795941312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14683305638400868,0.0,0.0,0.14274626836269785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264154558926598,0.1945679031725102,0.0,0.11459839089218347
divorce,Mama-Fen,2018/04/18,"Freshly Divorced from Alcoholic who cheated - when to date? Divorce finalized last month, after almost two years of haggling. Not going into detail, but there was a tremendous amount of emotional and verbal abuse, coupled with multiple infidelities, on his part. I still sleep on the sofa because sleeping in a bed without him after 20 years of marriage is too weird. No children, thankfully. 

There is a gentleman, slightly older than me, who has been courting me since before the divorce was finalized (no, we didn't meet til AFTER my ex moved out). I guess my question is, when it is socially ""okay"" to date after divorce? A month, six months, a year?",6.051497584541062,8.21517639130435,6.118550724637682,73.9542512077295,67.69565217391305,8.241545893719808,35.386473429951685,8.841846274778883,3.5186618357487927,515,26,77,9,9,163,86,115,0.111,0.8420000000000001,0.047,-0.8290000000000001,0,0,1,0,5,0,24.0,1,0,0,0,6,4,1,0,7,1,9,3,2,0,0,11,12,5,0,0,3,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,2,1,3,5,1,0,1,0,0,2,5,2,0,2,4,0,9,2,19,8,2,27,0,0,0,0,15,5,0,3,20,61,12,0,0.0,0.19677304703880727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17748486693656304,0.16630124606127267,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10123846221883248,0.0,0.1413185473334734,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376006964913685,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18681328348082216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3638565467879787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09438488708840058,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18295157144732493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13537420492757102,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3976811272279892,0.17651263440691012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1798442556117168,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1860432644139787,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13737988390879605,0.0,0.3323921194276548,0.16929369143562806,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13262860517916586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1529005796696358,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16223223892567815,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16009145470991798,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.320842731727785
divorce,fishwaterwaster,2018/04/18,"A question about alimony my partner and I have been together about 20 years and have one pre-school-aged son. We have discussed separation for issues stemming from and otherwise related to a recent affair she had. Neither of us has filed for divorce, though, and we are currently trying to work things out. 

For most of our married life our salaries have been about the same, and right now they are essentially identical (and have been for about a year). However, she may be in line for a significant (25-30% bump in salary shortly). In the short term, this would of course help with some financial issues that have added pressure to our relationship. I'm curious, though, how alimony works in a case like this. I know the length of the marriage is a consideration in spousal support, but is the length of time that salaries have been unequal a consideration? It's not as though I would base my decision on waiting around just long enough to secure alimony, but I am curious how it works. ",8.073370165745859,8.09803625414365,7.506569060773482,73.48228453038676,62.14917127071824,11.438895027624312,37.43701657458564,11.00357731598739,4.107065856353591,786,35,143,19,10,246,112,181,0.027000000000000003,0.89,0.083,0.7814,3,0,0,0,1,0,26.0,6,0,1,3,12,4,0,1,12,0,22,1,0,2,0,29,26,14,0,2,4,1,0,1,1,3,1,0,0,1,7,11,0,2,5,0,0,0,2,1,0,1,5,0,15,3,29,17,6,19,0,0,0,0,18,11,0,4,9,107,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1500517187463015,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17416473230356808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11298039425460465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3518600233308741,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09263467498867188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11905699433532307,0.08234857467717119,0.0,0.0,0.14916789191983865,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11421877775773395,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18882273393326976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16642998278915758,0.1809674419322491,0.0,0.14394699933099492,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17058896998686596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1912768080918248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1119819695530324,0.0,0.4968200263818585,0.0,0.09828710764946126,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1144393312674838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20275365842599613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.36813513020671423,0.0,0.0,0.23947651644564785,0.0,0.0,0.2170907287194323
divorce,Kaiya32,2018/04/18,"Does the anger ever go away? So me-32 and H-38  are headed to splitsville today... We are getting a separation.  Sadly, its been a dead bedroom situation amongst other things that have compounded on top of it.  Any trust that existed in our relationship, has been lost.  No amount of counselling is going to help at this point... 
We have a 7 year old daughter which complicates things of course.  He keeps flipping back and forth between what he wants as far as custody... makes it difficult to plan. Plus, the incessent begging me to not give up on our marriage makes it emotionally difficult. 

I've been living on an air mattress in our living room abd even though se aren't talking, i can't help but be angry. Does the anger ever go away?

I'm angry about how it fell apart. I am angry at his actions that caused me to lose trust him. I am angry at the crap circumstances that life handed to us because I think that if we had moved locations, just the move alone would have helped our marriage to thrive more.

 We live in a rural town and we are nowhere near family or friends. We only have one income because I can't get a job in my profession due to the lack of jobs. We havent had a date since last August and havent been on a romantic getaway for almost 2 years. For most of our marriage it was like this. The isolation and the lack of support really made life depressing and overwhelming. We got pregnent with our daughter only after being together for 5 months. There was no experimental dating period. We didnt know each other well when we decided to get married. We stuck it out for 9 years... 9 years of pain and misery.  

And all i can do is be angry over the whole thing.. I so badly wanted it to work out but I can not change him, i can only change me and in this relationship, he needed to change for it to work. I changed as much as i could and almost damaged my body i the process.. 

Thanks for letting me share.. I have no on else to talk to and it doesnt help that even my parents have chosen to side with him.

",3.436275000000002,5.072324677499998,4.330000000000002,86.28250000000001,73.475,7.3000000000000025,25.25,7.972316293177498,1.3653,1581,51,320,23,32,510,215,400,0.206,0.722,0.07200000000000001,-0.9961,4,2,0,0,0,0,50.0,18,0,0,6,14,21,3,1,18,0,39,7,4,6,3,58,61,25,1,8,7,3,1,1,1,1,3,0,3,0,26,28,0,1,3,0,0,7,12,13,1,1,13,1,42,8,58,42,9,53,0,6,0,0,42,28,1,5,19,225,68,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759248498873448,0.09097921725710244,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05973648950554855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16506343577132945,0.06754611303149212,0.07334552708383273,0.10709698027224412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0975741577244804,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09023931684929712,0.3717064619506024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07013576619101122,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565934766001738,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15374461311673515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07338184616506764,0.0988119440825377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1160394069110498,0.15891867635154824,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08281089145285896,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06786755342889009,0.0,0.13768357254562474,0.08426734460478046,0.14977019853365667,0.0,0.07025635073063881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09015261874310054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355181803457613,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17434193859649086,0.07807920463002416,0.0,0.0,0.04827640723462032,0.07160405362124236,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08982577578428212,0.1240927102807844,0.0429158231169032,0.0,0.23270185923984646,0.0,0.0,0.0982742379224292,0.0958913920899663,0.0,0.0,0.08311950066016513,0.11727223496544563,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07011572299027051,0.18672715596980047,0.0645749688016467,0.06513473012497932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09217681779289563,0.0,0.05952492659522219,0.2004264755560891,0.09347151660983737,0.0,0.0975396433560388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08304035815778862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05627469864095056,0.0,0.0,0.18862176445261192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07266492592993276,0.09873960461723028,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09968359130216067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1412103127428737,0.0,0.08087435350952785,0.0,0.0,0.1750776531273461,0.05628647099425524,0.0863056442556327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08326522347161974,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10566473281931933,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10362456620751086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07898172019247382,0.0,0.0,0.09807396194185547,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12790200836711632,0.0,0.0,0.0624013946854789,0.0,0.0,0.2262729464490791
divorce,iWish1WasA_FUCKBOY,2018/04/18,"Not Miserable, Not Happy, Nothing is changing. On the Fence, ready to jump. Howdy y'all. Some help would be appreciated.
Married 2 years, together for about 5 years before that.
I'm in a weird place right now. I'm M/26yo and my spouse is F/30yo. We have 2 cats, no children. Only one car that she can't drive, as it's a manual. No savings over $1000 presently.

I'm about to go talk to a therapist in a few hours about this very topic. I'm not happy anymore, I just really feel numb. I feel as though I've been the 'strong' one in the relationship, in that she came from a childhood with a lot of abuse and poverty and violence and in retrospect, what I provided for her was a sense of stability. She has anger issues as a result, and I usually serve as her emotional punching bag(just last night she wanted me to scratch her head so she could relax and fall asleep, but I told her I had to focus on my thesis paper. she got mad and hasn't talked to me since). I've been keeping a journal, and I realized that this is a 2-3 week cycle; where everything will be normal, then she'll start to dip into a foul mood and everything will be shitty for a few days, and then the timer resets. She is taking antidepressants, aned they have helped, but she still goes through this cycle where a seemingly minor thing makes her angry at me and then shun me for a few days.
I've usually taken care of the adult shit like managing finances and taxes and payments and savings and whatnot, but for the past few years, she's been supporting us financially through the winters, as I've been completing my degree. I graduate in like 2 weeks, then I start my job again, and I've been subconsciously making a plan to divorce her once I'm getting a steady paycheck again.

I feel like I've been a 'safe option' for her:
-I usually try to deescalate when we have fights
-she always begs my forgiveness in a fit of sadness or tears and its almost like I can't help but forgive her
-I don't(can't) make her do anything she doesn't want to do, and as a result I've always been very sexually undemanding of her, even though my libido is much higher than hers.
-She always says that she can't sleep without me in the bed beside her.

I now feel like shes been taking advantage of my compassion and using the threat of her own fragility to keep me from leaving. She's said before that she would die without me, etc.

One of the most troubling things was that a few weeks ago she tried to gaslight me. We were in a fight, and she claimed that all of my family members are secretly terrified of me, that they're afraid of provoking me into a fit of rage, because of an event in high school where I ran away for a week or so and hitchhiked places. She claimed that they're afraid of 'setting me off' again and that I'll run away. I believed her at first and panicked and ran out of the apartment and called my Dad, Mom, and sister while walking around town at night. It turned out not to be true, and that they generally felt I was getting my shit together. This messed me up for a few days, and I haven't been able to forget it. I don't even know if she did it on purpose, or was just projecting her own fears onto my family?

Finally, I've had a feeling of wasted youth. I should have spent my early twenties doing fun shit and having adventures and such, but she's discouraged me from hanging out with potential friends, and stopped me from doing some things that I really wanted to do, almost trying to monopolize my time.
In addition to this, she doesn't really have any friends. The one friendship she did have she let die after a minor disagreement like 2 years ago.

Now that I type all this out the decision seems obvious, but it's not. She can be very sweet and kind and funny and smart, but recently shes just been stagnating, and it's like she just wants me to lay down beside her and be a heater while she hides from the world. I don't want to live like this anymore.

Can anyone help me with legal advice or otherwise? and don't be afraid to be honest with me if i'm being a massive dick.

Cheers",5.950842891437715,5.651843331288344,6.319537209922648,81.31123432915443,66.60736196319019,9.68818351560416,30.35542811416377,9.26112553598018,2.344771138970392,3205,103,658,53,46,1036,353,815,0.151,0.7140000000000001,0.136,-0.9404,1,0,0,0,4,0,93.0,4,1,2,4,26,51,9,5,43,0,69,8,7,7,4,129,113,67,2,12,24,4,8,8,2,6,1,2,1,2,32,53,0,6,14,1,4,11,19,20,0,5,28,11,105,30,99,68,16,104,0,3,0,1,77,43,4,15,57,451,137,10,0.06459270978680265,0.07653179881929306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06311924843573367,0.11451507984981167,0.0,0.12936053690777075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.161238926870148,0.0,0.0,0.043925257633424634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1281172230592582,0.0451647245382408,0.0,0.05315429649898276,0.05750120615997676,0.0,0.0,0.12137395421336958,0.0,0.0,0.039375116358178086,0.0,0.10992727710139223,0.07277386473597472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06595637859022432,0.07387685230187288,0.0658565725060874,0.0,0.06833052226676467,0.0,0.06772422728373165,0.0,0.0,0.05157202280813053,0.0,0.0,0.12497086257279623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340740697700011,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07265810456909873,0.0,0.0,0.07203794572400839,0.08532575125165702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11610352518881575,0.0,0.1217845163660823,0.0726847563524157,0.16330007430990626,0.09229008955585097,0.06201913088488116,0.07075815630473113,0.0,0.05494252594745324,0.0,0.0,0.0998083347042786,0.0,0.06749404979564609,0.0,0.03670952551142112,0.0,0.05166069067284089,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1375202813292188,0.0,0.0,0.06629075523848417,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.173180527256829,0.06824574427561156,0.0,0.0,0.06361080792944518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06741800730456983,0.0640982976447775,0.11482593662850353,0.0,0.06726336744897263,0.035498464053530576,0.05265167955037736,0.0,0.06839435321319601,0.0,0.06605042204698591,0.0,0.2524538823842816,0.0,0.057036546135048424,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0549144120035789,0.0,0.0,0.12934840605990686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07565020103223155,0.0,0.0,0.047483073825743086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12123176500950583,0.06328714126022005,0.06197844711545367,0.0,0.0,0.06878912784494831,0.17507876729602367,0.04912566645184135,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06166105030896064,0.0,0.0,0.1349712677394637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12413923164086264,0.0,0.06377750839189647,0.06934839716420353,0.0,0.05516182122935924,0.06144245858895619,0.05136671538400089,0.0,0.06537127074443888,0.0,0.11760555411477035,0.0,0.0,0.19891046512191485,0.05343175701828854,0.0,0.06463935786931924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09143810488790333,0.0,0.051583821473545295,0.054002397651852684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0732990416078218,0.0,0.0,0.0971313581955164,0.1038343467965432,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07499711454514975,0.12873757870823194,0.0,0.12692401882086618,0.0,0.03766452851749693,0.0,0.0,0.06172110226105616,0.0,0.13156262990523704,0.07025831998450273,0.0,0.0,0.07769707678293472,0.0557873622819906,0.21341923272258206,0.15988725080977068,0.1904922688582997,0.0,0.20724950247512205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12453013447650753,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09176961555432817,0.0,0.0,0.1663823493900945
divorce,nao1120,2018/04/18,"Financial Aid for working dads Canada

I've been going through divorce for 1.5 years. Various litigation and letters. Its costed well over 70,000. I am the sole income earner in a situation where its joint custody less than 50%. This means, my ex lives off the system on purpose, and i pay everything at the maximum value. 

Unfortunately she cheated, and had made attempts to reduce my access with false allegations. Seems to be the norm. Its a no fault system on the dissolve of the relationship.

The good thing is i have a valid court order for maximize time and my schedule allows it, the bad, she refuses to allow it. 

I have to continue with court. Is there any financial help available for working dads making the gross income? I am only aware of help for low income situations. 

The reason i ask is because after supporting her, and the kids, i have almost nothing left in my household. Such a frustrating battle.

If anyone has advice, or can help, that would be awesome.",4.3721535393818565,7.069370655367237,5.4039215686274495,74.86366899302098,74.08474576271186,7.78052509139249,28.49086075108009,8.671277953709913,2.687485476902625,774,32,123,16,17,254,120,177,0.142,0.735,0.124,-0.3818,3,0,0,0,1,0,27.0,0,0,0,3,4,10,3,0,15,0,15,0,0,5,0,19,22,7,0,2,2,3,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1,8,7,0,1,3,0,2,1,1,7,1,0,3,0,14,3,23,16,2,19,0,1,0,0,15,10,0,4,5,89,22,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17629049009845588,0.0,0.0,0.1806503801616853,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12268215144832875,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1261439516681672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16865509897251746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15063133331463144,0.10997372010115976,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1621371282528392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10252879120193177,0.1513158517322862,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627666771496054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1960114632239144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15930165394647575,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17070435930709785,0.1204222930557248,0.0,0.0,0.19651483772265796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17310426040084004,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1372067638610456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18548724079976292,0.0,0.19368834747877967,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16423469295822546,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4055674254669415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20472239909426,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11985361785832205,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10519609083174317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16220650792347932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2626751871581357,0.0,0.0,0.12815512623452344,0.0,0.0,0.11617544031586875
divorce,MediumCommunication,2018/04/18,"Married under a year... contemplating divorce. Hi. Throwaway here.

We've been married for a little over 6 months. No children. One pet.

Been deeply unsatisfied with my sex life among other things. Feel like my intellectual needs are not getting met either. Doing a lot of placating for my husband. So much arguing. So much not communicating well.

I'm so scared of the possibility of divorce but I know it would make *me* happier. He's such an idiot that he thinks our marriage is fine. He often combats my raising of issues or complaints with ""if you just believe everything is fine, then it will be.""

I know he'd be sad and blindsided if I said I didn't want to be together anymore. I just don't know what to do... I want to have sex more than once a month and I want someone who I can talk about big, ethereal topics with. Not just the news and work. Not just babytalk before he passes out because he's so exhausted. 

Someone who will take me seriously, think I'm sexy and value me as the mature woman that I am.  ",1.6337098138747876,4.263293071065991,3.48434644670051,84.70151120981389,85.29441624365481,6.125972927241964,24.45198815566836,7.492282038375204,1.4563165820642985,793,32,152,14,24,265,129,197,0.16,0.725,0.115,-0.6776,0,0,0,0,2,0,32.0,1,1,0,1,13,10,2,1,8,0,19,4,0,1,0,36,36,14,0,7,13,1,1,1,0,3,2,1,1,2,9,8,0,0,6,0,0,1,7,6,1,1,5,2,19,4,19,24,5,11,0,1,0,2,21,6,0,5,5,105,28,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1713447768516287,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10532105465286848,0.0,0.147017429156525,0.19465644534066595,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1552775820465888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08735941702246658,0.12342934402543138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0902669650878917,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18033053076774788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2848552094677118,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12203495456437495,0.08440835101939123,0.17316432553997502,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14688575737142745,0.0,0.0,0.11532757914053672,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27581214238950946,0.0,0.2540166417793248,0.1281092791571581,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1839980211709573,0.11707572017823087,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1947760370532684,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16434705818234413,0.0,0.1729763035138818,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2927806646114665,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12990408703760686,0.1388687059909128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11478296292231392,0.22141242349629264,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3057186647049526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1553440264669154,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1257810853228685,0.0,0.0,0.1227332588347092,0.0,0.0,0.11126039828036734
divorce,redditcats,2018/04/18,"Divorce wife that has been cheating for years. Have evidence. Need advice. Hello everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.

My father's wife originally told him about the infidelity about 4 years ago. Now she is a traveling nurse and is seeing the same guy. Fortunately, he makes Facebook live posts and she is in them. They are staying at a hotel. I saved all the videos and pictures on my HDD. She didn't want to tell me what hotel she was at but I figured it out from the videos. My father just would like to separate and the most important thing is his pension. What is the best way to go about this because I know the man always gets screwed in a divorce. Luckily, they didn't have any children together, no house (renting) and just material stuff. I do NOT want her to get any of my father's pension (30 years worth of saving).

There is a divorce attorney that specializes in defending the man in this situation that I've heard on the radio. They were married in Las Vegas and live in Arizona. What would be the best way to go about this? Would my evidence of infidelity help if she tries to go after my father's pension? They've been married for over 10 years. Thank you.  ",3.2138426501035227,5.426185808695654,4.175341614906833,84.63485507246378,75.69565217391303,7.337474120082816,26.16977225672877,8.269060116576782,1.7868033126293992,936,35,181,17,21,302,130,230,0.048,0.8079999999999999,0.14300000000000002,0.9787,1,0,0,0,3,0,28.0,0,1,4,2,8,10,2,0,15,0,21,1,0,2,1,27,37,8,0,7,5,6,0,1,0,3,0,1,1,4,13,7,0,0,2,7,2,4,4,2,0,0,8,2,24,8,31,25,5,29,0,0,1,1,32,12,1,2,10,123,37,4,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13873176676451773,0.12584813462187994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11813069045377908,0.0,0.0,0.19308939026028452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08654379756264621,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2979782122076151,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1356587376360807,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14834727925786464,0.0,0.24205503665677755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1405729506798653,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09515972191911024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1638147035231583,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0780231824304322,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06935953373516679,0.0,0.2507248109431396,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.094766300009291,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10526920336884094,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1359683352398809,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14200875265902754,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1131319748149814,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15958060314468,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15132148572565796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252206571907446,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10674402234384414,0.0,0.12408832904899925,0.26141441748763894,0.0,0.0,0.09431878117372147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08278404314184977,0.0,0.0,0.1356587376360807,0.0,0.09638853724905336,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16747556201085656,0.22537888506766385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3025549547088296,0.0,0.0,0.3656969602992198
divorce,DivorceeThrowawayy,2018/04/18,"My mother just got served. My mom and soon to be ex-step dad have been split up since August. He moved to Texas with his mother and served my Mom from Texas. We live in Alabama. We didn't expect it to go down like this, but he ignores calls and texts. He has known substance abuse problem. He pops benzos, opioids, ambien and anti-depressants at an alarming rate. He used to pass out with food his mouth every night. He even stopped breathing and we had to call 911 to save his ass. Hes had a lot more run ins like wrecks and plenty of nodding off doing stupid shit. 

Do you think my mom should counterclaim him on fault grounds?",2.790378181818184,4.738608896000002,2.9074181818181835,94.4577090909091,76.03999999999998,5.825454545454545,20.96363636363636,6.574015621080383,0.1425200000000002,492,12,105,4,11,149,94,125,0.224,0.7140000000000001,0.062,-0.979,0,0,1,0,1,0,16.0,3,1,0,0,3,9,2,1,2,0,11,5,4,1,0,24,15,7,0,3,2,6,0,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,2,12,1,2,2,0,0,4,1,6,0,0,5,0,13,3,18,8,2,17,0,0,0,1,23,9,2,1,6,57,15,0,0.0,0.21208925624920769,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3655641052713743,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15417500127661368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11822977769409762,0.0,0.1508177279510145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2164511095937926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1017315166126202,0.0,0.14316503245917586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17490362495768733,0.0,0.15806290764665162,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15218192932720612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.6289383675632744,0.0,0.1902518353673037,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1679821673560548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17128167353359233,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18374398293142752,0.14807311184276534,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14965450349205828,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11469787945292187,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1546010985894893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,blueboy1980,2018/04/18,"Contemplating Divorce (38M) I can't believe it's got so far as to me to have to write this.

I've been married nearly 10 years and have 3 AMAZING children. 8year old girl and 4 year old twins boys. The wife is wearing me down. She has major issues with her attitude when it's her time of the month. I spend nearly a week walking on eggshells and getting bad attitude every month. 

Today I flipped and ended up shouting at the kids (totally fucking wrong I know and I feel like absolute shit for it). The wife threatened to leave until I calmed down. On the one occasion I do something wrong I get this level of threats. I've had to put up with anger and attitude from her but I never say stuff like that. I work full time in a well paid job that does have long hours. She started working because she was bored and I encouraged it. Before she was essentially a house wife and everything was looked after and in order. She saves all her money she earns while I never see anything remaining of my paycheck because I pay all the bills.

I am essentially a FT worker who gets home to do house work on a daily basis. The house is never tidy because I just can't keep up. I've worked so hard to get to the career I'm in now. I own my own house and new car.

I feel like I'm heading backwards instead of forwards in life and feel like I have to sort out all the crap she ends up doing. I am paying for her car and my car, her phone bills and my phone bills. Ineeded to purchase a new furnace for the house and other appliances. Total I've paid in things we need is over $50k. What have I had help with? Absolutely nothing and now she's paying for a vacation which will cost us $10k for flights ALONE for all 5 of us plus spending money.

I can't get screwed in life like this only for someone to spend a much needed 10k on flights. This is not even to a holiday destination but more to stay in a village her Grandmother lives at.

I can't do it anymore. Since last year my anxiety and depression have been a nightmare. 

As an example I've had multiple shoulder surgeries and was put on Percocet by the doctor to help my pain. I can feel myself getting addicted so decided to try the legal medical cannabis route. The doctor advised me to try that route because of the issues Opiates can cause me. She flipped. She would rather I suffer than use cannabis (I would only use it before bed). Percocet works but since I started I've lost a ton of weight, have nausea, and wake up in the mornings to take a pill because I'm shaking from not taking it during the night.

She never listens or understands my problems. She always threatens to leave when we have arguments and I think she's in for a shock when she next says it. 

She clearly loves the kids and will do anything for them. That is the main thing I want, for my children to be happy. Whenever we argue I make sure the kids aren't around because I don't  want them to get upset. But why am I not allowed to be happy?

There's just so much to state on here and I can't think correctly right now because my mind is in a mess.

TLDR: Wife doesn't seem to care about my feelings and I'm seriously considering leaving.",2.666274007682457,4.481840649452273,3.9357700953193913,87.5383201024328,75.99530516431925,6.775598235879926,26.48516147389387,7.62072044053348,1.4308776838810653,2481,95,507,34,55,812,292,639,0.128,0.778,0.094,-0.957,2,1,1,0,1,0,55.0,5,0,2,8,20,36,7,2,35,0,48,18,6,5,13,84,91,39,0,8,11,4,7,5,0,4,8,4,2,7,23,31,1,2,11,1,15,8,15,21,1,1,13,13,76,15,83,72,15,81,0,3,2,3,54,36,4,3,41,333,99,16,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06961049642919054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06613368731601303,0.0,0.0,0.05313180445944739,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04884828344823821,0.0,0.06332620207421066,0.0,0.0,0.10509312146580582,0.05684377031983132,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05331558459645559,0.272474466891647,0.0,0.10867043160888223,0.07194181006967405,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06510360619518635,0.06559584643663385,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05499752351727881,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13071494609030485,0.05587923526342384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11311172548148175,0.0,0.0,0.04217509275389965,0.0,0.053799912249889885,0.0,0.05738803200748771,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16143299483941553,0.13685234633810964,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05903217319647944,0.2335282652772062,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05107003193986577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13594795323854925,0.05720081536529356,0.0,0.06553282473102946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08560024017467023,0.0,0.0640509626919753,0.0,0.06288351840377722,0.3683958318427129,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13329437688592746,0.06336543444106058,0.05675654133506961,0.0,0.0,0.03509259495795063,0.05204969041846303,0.0,0.20283711411589814,0.0,0.0,0.09020421088823248,0.15597966835118224,0.0,0.0563844229513544,0.05650895210151485,0.05362144066705635,0.0,0.06970439548687107,0.0,0.0576309029007464,0.0,0.042623170169390136,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06432638240926702,0.0,0.0,0.06447453291107727,0.0,0.10193561650614748,0.0,0.09388035913962556,0.09469415115597724,0.19699316284932408,0.1233415564642411,0.06790965947164247,0.059922835240147736,0.0,0.06126982106790791,0.0,0.13400846983489673,0.0,0.04326925424992853,0.09712798346622513,0.06794536421389054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06109983972915015,0.0,0.12838220274685105,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05453113257592507,0.0,0.10155883559203142,0.0,0.0,0.05088352519477232,0.05813045980146445,0.0,0.0,0.06554541228314248,0.1056416978552596,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05410345115644296,0.049158077988542666,0.0,0.0,0.09039265399525527,0.06806007447518066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07309777487087463,0.0,0.0,0.06018182193355055,0.0,0.09602081390707007,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08484377800426647,0.08183037808154618,0.0,0.0,0.07446778776420009,0.0,0.060526309407659386,0.0,0.0,0.08670561212460992,0.0,0.0,0.06647446764114659,0.1536174658626752,0.11029904310125437,0.0,0.0,0.07532571576713598,0.0,0.05121998260705663,0.07775720557726115,0.05741258876880615,0.0,0.05761847798207879,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2324330677779219,0.0,0.0,0.09072037435869254,0.13962907375015746,0.0,0.12336002171447685
divorce,harleysdead,2018/04/18,"What do I do with this **** wedding dress? I’m broke as fuck and I just want to get rid of my wedding dress and get some cash. The train is dirty and there are probably some minor repairs needed. I don’t want to deal with getting it cleaned, I don’t wanna look at it, I just want it gone and I need some money. It’s not designer, it was custom made. I’m not expecting a lot, just, SOMETHING. I live in Sacramento, CA. If anyone knows what I can do with this stupid dress please help me out.",-0.8943365695792878,1.2405073980582555,1.0646990291262135,99.65950809061493,96.37864077669904,4.3000647249190935,16.575404530744336,6.079149491110277,-0.5100001294498382,374,10,88,4,15,122,65,103,0.128,0.7859999999999999,0.086,-0.8074,0,0,1,0,0,0,18.0,0,0,0,0,4,3,2,0,2,0,9,1,0,1,0,27,24,6,0,8,6,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,9,8,0,0,1,0,2,1,4,3,0,0,3,1,10,0,11,21,4,4,0,1,1,1,4,3,1,5,0,56,19,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16954780110963472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2499864497291192,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2241690473098177,0.38005770591427535,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16252937381773194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13326078227156066,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21411446829256728,0.0,0.20362230659722355,0.0,0.0,0.20614800377121906,0.0,0.22944063807738785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3595920072228216,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2661704556606437,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.261434678630918,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1866731125346834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4290633317508295,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,JustADadinTX,2018/04/18,"Got filed on today I knew it would eventually happen. 38m married to 34f for almost 10 years.  We have a 5 and 7 year old.  Our problems go waaaay back, but recently I found out my STBX was having an online affair (sexting) with an old friend.  There’s more too it, but that’s enough detail.

She filed on me and now is showing all sorts of remorseful behavior.  She said that she thought she would feel free and instead feels immensely sad.  She’s said, “I’m sorry,” about a million times today.

I’m a sucker and I love her.  I don’t know how to watch her hurt like this while also being emotionally-distant to protect myself.  We were going to counseling and she still wants to (even though she filed....).

How do I set boundaries to not get taken advantage of AND (I guess I should disclose this) I don’t want the divorce.  But how do I not get my hopes up after this grief disappears and she starts accepting that she wanted to end the marriage?",2.3234408602150545,4.539193817204307,3.475483870967744,88.5498924731183,78.56989247311827,6.2838709677419375,22.6989247311828,7.3871296695380915,0.9125182795698924,734,23,147,10,18,237,123,186,0.157,0.716,0.127,-0.6466,0,0,0,0,1,0,28.0,3,0,0,1,13,12,1,0,7,0,13,1,0,3,1,38,37,16,1,8,5,0,2,1,1,3,0,2,0,0,8,11,0,1,7,1,1,3,4,5,0,1,9,5,27,8,17,24,3,23,0,3,1,1,21,4,0,4,16,101,35,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15735881415704714,0.0,0.0,0.12566943558819518,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12083541642195335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13918453113976334,0.16237361408555007,0.0,0.1037933156043772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1589152714385243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1723022532309316,0.12141045149845453,0.0,0.1642043840011546,0.0,0.17861915359437866,0.0,0.12568384790499335,0.0,0.17311381010646307,0.0,0.13896350764922968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.156081232371614,0.0,0.0,0.16822782385055707,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08636321928445219,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07677349775854801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.141830215483979,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32979615443636473,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15036730293374792,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1551625144783562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.29896327438235404,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1759118519294181,0.11122860261616488,0.0,0.12549683498226594,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15439494583992006,0.12475620797552865,0.09163297687181406,0.0,0.2979116784105472,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27806598441995306,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22326372825080207,0.0,0.0,0.20239347966957935
divorce,dirkgent,2018/04/18,"Anyone ""divorce"" but live together? I'm sure it sounds optimistic/naive, just wondering if anyone has tried and what the experience is/was like. I'm sure it would be impossible long term, just thinking about bridging the gap, getting more time with the kids. Maintaining health insurance, financial reasons, etc.",7.895384615384617,10.41791392307693,6.9530769230769245,68.3669230769231,63.615384615384606,11.353846153846154,38.0,11.20814326018867,5.191292307692309,252,13,37,8,4,77,44,52,0.0,0.831,0.16899999999999998,0.8462,0,0,0,0,1,0,13.0,0,0,0,0,3,3,0,0,3,0,3,1,0,1,2,12,8,3,0,2,4,0,0,1,0,1,1,1,0,1,3,2,0,0,3,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,3,2,6,3,3,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,4,18,3,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3627351027863605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2892820881105085,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25372764231344164,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13551760439368013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2757134086753925,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12672207944324848,0.0,0.229041111579883,0.22954696574108374,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.26669028703830994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.488933314240184,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16620300231652202,0.0,0.0,0.15124908612723054,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17610493059730606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2812912364375332,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18425918275323,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,Silkyjohn18,2018/04/19,"Need some advice Long time lurker. My divorce was final in December. Even prior to the divorce my ex wife was with several different men. I know it's not my business and that's fine. However she has recently introduced her new ""friend"" to our two children. This is the third friend that has been around our kids. Thankfully the kids are with me majority of the time and I know I can't control who she brings around them. But, it still scares the shit out of me. My mother brought many men into my life growing up and it has had a negative impact on me. Any advice on how to deal with my concerns and make sure my children don't grow up in a similar situation as I did.",2.2123536165327202,4.4093973880597055,3.752388059701495,86.51896096440873,78.8507462686567,7.406659012629162,25.233065442020674,8.384062270229773,1.7615804822043637,526,20,107,11,13,174,88,134,0.044,0.841,0.115,0.8271,2,0,0,0,2,0,13.0,2,0,1,1,5,7,1,1,7,0,12,2,1,3,1,21,19,7,0,1,2,3,0,0,2,0,1,0,0,6,7,11,0,1,2,0,0,4,4,2,0,2,6,0,20,5,19,13,2,22,0,0,0,0,21,10,1,1,8,78,27,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3533430051668328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12294730149333415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3218930752315702,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20277779338116392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18639246701719445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888930656501604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11941387972987078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1980528935973821,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2793646771714525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19872121861926745,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12770137641415513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1599985386940823,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12068255892200146,0.18329850117468147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1340577487670909,0.0,0.1746136502326256,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17851397977425598,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18100807366714736,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20424772231853786,0.18558422680647824,0.0,0.2032219843966498,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14438370979662346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17039784330131705,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16645242474603128,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21084689733139952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17661116523889328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,BroGeorgeOPA,2018/04/19,"17 Things to do When Your Significant Other Leaves You  My wife left recently, after 30\-odd years of marriage.  Not my first split;  In my wild days as a blacksmith in college, I lived with a woman for four years, and had the same thing happen.  Just as a reference, I'm writing this from a Christian and Buddhist perspective.    Please reserve judgment on that perspective, and simply  see if you find the article useful. 
  1  First and most important:  forgive.  Remember Christ's words, “Forgive them, Lord, they don't know what they're doing”.  This means not only the ex, but friends who go cold, relatives who take sides, and  yourself.  Funny thing about forgiveness:  not forgiving others damages you.  If you don't forgive them for a fault or an act, you won't receive forgiveness from yourself, and God, and the people around you. 
  2.  Take good care of yourself.  Don't go sloppy.  Don't stop eating, drinking \(water, I mean\), or sleeping.  All that falling apart does is lower your self esteem and confirms that your ex was right to leave.  You are the image of God.  Keep polishing the image. 
  3.Carefully move their stuff to an unused area you don't go.  You don't have to keep reminding yourself of your loss.   It's your place now.  Redecorate.  Buy a new piece of furniture\- like Josiah cleaning out Judah, get rid of the things holding old bad memories. 
  4.  Read a new book, an entertaining book, an inspiring one.  If Christian, hit the Bible; for goodness sake, avoid the Song of Songs.   Try reading the psalms from beginning to end; you'll be surprised at how often David felt like you do now.  If Buddhist, try some of the relatively new books coming out, like Start Where You Are, by Pema Chodron. 
  5,  Resist irrational impulses.  Don't drive 500 miles in the middle of the night to tell the ex you'll do anything to get her back \(guilty\).  Don't decide to rip all her books apart, or throw her clothes on the lawn to scandalize the neighbors.  There's no point.  Your ex has already moved on, and, if nothing else, pride will make them say “no”.  Don't give others the excuse to think you're crazy. 
  6.  Stop worrying about their well\-being.  Most spouses who split, plan it first; squirrel away money, find a crash pad, etc.. They're big boys or girls, and they made an adult choice.  The consequences of it belong to them. 
  7.   Take off the rose\-colored glasses; Or, if you want, take off the blood\-colored ones.  Things were never as good or as bad as you remember.  Your ex was never a perfect saint or  perfect jerk; you never lived in a perfect heaven or a perfect hell while you were with them.  Also, remember that memories are coded by emotion, among other things.  When you feel bad, you will only remember feeling bad; and the same for feeling good, safe, threatened, and all the other emotions. 
  8.  Examine your meds.  I did so with the help of my sister; as sick as I am, I take a lot.  I found that my ex withheld some non\-pain meds from me, like antibiotics.  On the other hand, she gave me a lot of “food supplements” which basically kept me stunned 24 hours a day.  Make a list of what you're taking and show your doctor, if you are uncertain about some of them. 
  9.  Recognize that you have PTSD, no matter what you think.  You've just been through a major trauma.   As a trained spiritual director myself, I flattered myself that I didn't need to talk to a psychologist.  I'm seeing one now, and she and the experience are a blessing.  She does a great job of gently calling attention to my blind spots; and, believe me, I have many,  Discernment is impossible without the help of others. 
  10.  Keep a log.  Are things missing?  Write them down.  Did your ex ignore the rules in some way? Write it down.  You'll have a lot of blurs if you don't, like where you hid valuables, or did you make an appointment with someone, or if your ex puts a rock through your window.  Write it down.  This has nothing to do with forgiveness; it simply means you'll remember important things. 
  11.  There's an old frontier saying:  “Root hog or die.”  Find your inner strengths; you'll be surprised how many people you thought you could depend on will pull back, especially if they were mutual friends, or your ex is throwing mud \(you're an abuser, you're alcoholic, you're crazy.\) Keep walking the path; “keep your head, while those around you/ are losing theirs, and blaming it on you.”\(Kipling\). And, on a similar subject, 
  12.  Don't throw mud.  People don't want to hear that your ex is a jerk, or had bad taste, or did bad things.  All that does is lose an audience.  An old Roman tag goes, “speak pleasantly of the departed, or not at all.”  And, jumping forward 1900 years, remember what Huey Long said:  “If someone throws mud at you, just wait till it dries up and blows away.”  You don't have to respond, because 
  13.  Vengeance belongs to God.  Or, if Buddhist, recognize karma, that we are the sum of our actions, good and bad,  Lincoln said, “I tremble to think that God is just.”  All of us will sit down to a banquet of our own consequences, sooner or later.  My plate is loaded enough, God knows.  All I can do is pray for mercy, and I'll only get it if I stay out of the vengeance business. 
  14.   People don't separate, they tear.  You'll be going through this for a while, especially if there's children or debt or property involved.  Pace yourself.  Don't put in 14 hour days, trying to solve everyting at once, because you won't.  Just accept that you will continue in some sort of a relationship for some time with the ex, no matter what you intend. 
  15.  Looking forwards, look for friends, not lovers. Friends are so much more valuable, and less demanding;  and you can leave them, and enter your own space, and sleep in your own bed, without offending them at all.  Besides, until the dust clears and you find yourself on your own two feet, you will tend to be attracted to people exactly like your spouse, or exactly the opposite of your spouse.  I've seen it in church and sangha communities; a friend, a “church doctor”, told me that this is one of the biggest recurring problems with churches, and I saw it happen at Naropa Institute.  Don't rush in to a relationship; wait until you are really ready to engage before doing any engaging.    16.  Rome wasn't rebuilt in a day.  Don't expect a week of grief and hard work, and then normalcy. Best advice:  be patient.  Better advice:  Be patient, be patient, be patient. 
  17,  The last  bit of advice is almost as important as the first:  Never ascribe to malice what can reasonably be explained by ignorance.  Your ex may not be responding to necessary communication out of spite; it may  be that they're unaware that their phone isn't working.   Same with friends; it may not be that they are ignoring you; it  may be that you have the wrong phone number. 
  I could say more, but it would just be gloss.  Think about this advice.  If it works for you, use it; if it doesn't, don't.  Heaven knows, you already have enough on your plate. 
  George West c copyright 2018 ",3.8533867276887865,6.011400398932114,4.169294431731505,85.65357551487419,73.61479786422578,7.223951182303586,27.060640732265448,8.090928345107859,1.7662439359267732,5437,204,1030,86,114,1697,543,1311,0.135,0.7120000000000001,0.153,0.9556,3,1,2,0,1,1,267.0,4,68,18,19,30,79,5,3,81,0,110,16,5,12,19,227,180,93,2,24,53,17,6,6,8,19,5,9,5,6,69,47,6,17,42,12,3,26,41,28,0,10,25,24,124,51,144,119,37,140,15,6,7,1,168,61,1,57,60,679,193,14,0.0,0.05062111897019297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16699813848195946,0.0,0.04565911185403719,0.04278205419108422,0.0,0.09429430061863936,0.034166478899182506,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.029053879913474957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.03515832645205781,0.07606708434559865,0.0,0.0,0.08028147085141896,0.06570445209897027,0.2497101030887307,0.05208847774083813,0.0,0.036355095908291536,0.04813547468574367,0.044836348504916815,0.0377860294217658,0.04664369484726495,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.043626123245088966,0.0,0.08712021521071009,0.0,0.0,0.0368030631004537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06822349774550865,0.0,0.0,0.11021414191578932,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.044340911499222695,0.0,0.0,0.08745993425081366,0.11216454709200116,0.0,0.0,0.041853391431845015,0.0,0.04371746077198356,0.035690536286216434,0.0961178127859152,0.037840906374899334,0.0882909139119119,0.047648709126434936,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.041792406522283165,0.0,0.0,0.0648078258999386,0.0,0.04102187393196489,0.0,0.15619635785392402,0.14536452483371204,0.05166219903710273,0.04684481371100563,0.19805138504108127,0.0,0.06696479849937015,0.04098488764639068,0.0971244521582851,0.17917490577619444,0.0,0.04710351459628133,0.0,0.0,0.07556163087120267,0.0,0.03827243708982843,0.0,0.043847293011820616,0.0,0.04815321027973602,0.0,0.05727418020245656,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08414934251290039,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04239711598213671,0.18987589108744432,0.0,0.0,0.07044020916152388,0.03482587598383002,0.0,0.13571608446325195,0.04641990254442754,0.0,0.0,0.1252371387954383,0.0,0.07545239579089398,0.03780951898160509,0.0717550336123727,0.09559476731291076,0.0,0.10896760664577196,0.0,0.04042661379397144,0.08555608456589335,0.08663114320956246,0.0,0.1396173386838962,0.0949137749690564,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09081799769347652,0.03140715841370576,0.031679408062169005,0.13180596087886534,0.12378972039627748,0.0,0.04009371068098827,0.0,0.0819899281977487,0.0,0.13449539220306708,0.04549981417158474,0.11580393045998195,0.09748089987354812,0.045461496672989946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1480976941918672,0.0,0.04463763237768538,0.046898275320908435,0.04038812146241445,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04088123145271353,0.04994223272073145,0.08589912130979355,0.0,0.0,0.08547140245988727,0.0,0.02737017775926228,0.043927531071607545,0.04218493344905929,0.09173947345809337,0.2903887286846811,0.036486181667534257,0.08128088073290203,0.10192785158628924,0.0,0.0,0.06809121529086543,0.0,0.044570595256884483,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08550998866721564,0.0,0.07240004945747477,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.030240365817539614,0.04553824804848603,0.0,0.0714385873162299,0.0,0.0,0.04890891803352588,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19273941478475293,0.034340044945180614,0.03734278104036183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2554561785400429,0.1095036137915996,0.0,0.033918194407314764,0.02491278930399051,0.0,0.0,0.04082474616735045,0.0,0.0870206586439933,0.0,0.04173527620293388,0.0,0.05139187929911364,0.07379987787241163,0.0,0.0,0.0503996088086045,0.033912433267109576,0.03427072760330084,0.0,0.0384141323473431,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08236909167121607,0.0,0.09331104713088233,0.04338843751192117,0.0,0.03035000286477931,0.04671213956380365,0.0,0.08253883516023817
divorce,thistooshallpass333,2018/04/19,"I'm [29 F] leaving abusive husband [39 M] of 12 years finally... Some advice on first days and how to ask for time off work Long story short my husband met me at 17 and I moved in with him, he pushed me to go to school when my addict parents didn't want me to move out. He helped me grow into a self sufficient adult. However always controlling, always intense if I ever went against him. Extremely codependent here. 

He fell in love with one of my best friends, she told me and denied him. This is when things got violent because I gave him ultimatums and stood up for myself for the first real time.

We were separated and about to divorce when my parents died a couple years ago and he stepped up and helped me and we got back together. Then my grandma had a stroke and we took in my teen brothers. It's been a shit show and I have to leave for their sake and my own. He just can't handle it and screams and yells and tells me I've ruined his life and he wants to leave on the regular but never leaves. 

I told him two days ago. We've been in bed together crying and sleeping together (I know I know) talking about next steps. At the moment he is willing to be civil. I paid for our house entirely, he covers utilities so he's agreed if I give him 10% that is fair and won't fight for any of my investments. He is just broken. I am broken. 

We were on our way overseas to work for his cousins company soon. He is going to try and secure my job position still because no one is angry at the other right now, it's just not working.

Another thing super upsetting to me. My brothers have a case worker who apparently told them he had feelings for me. I stupidly latched onto that over the last week as he's been texting and offering to help. Suggesting I meet up, etc. I did. I told him how I feel about him and he told me how he feels about me and would do whatever he could to help and pushed me to get out. Well the day I decided to tell my husband he tells me he can't be involved and totally pulled out. Which is fine it just took my support I thought I had away and I'm struggling to find a way to make it through right now. Why he would tell me these things and he'd help knowing how bad the situation is and then refuse when I ask is upsetting. I'm in a bad spot. 

I need some time off work, I'm a software engineer and there's no possible way I can work in an open space with a dozen people within feet of me and no privacy doing complicated stuff right now. I haven't gone in last two days and am planning to take off to California to get a friend who is willing to help me. I told my boss, ""I'm filing for divorce and need some time off to manage some things."" and have heard nothing.

What do I do? If I go to work right now I'll end up not able to hold it together. I have no idea how to afford everything on my own right now either and am scared as hell.

Any advice for all this? ",2.8211940298507483,3.901679577114429,4.2147728026534,88.71161194029852,74.12437810945273,7.681724709784413,25.671973466003323,8.167268648758528,1.3580007296849093,2247,74,502,35,45,745,273,603,0.133,0.785,0.08199999999999999,-0.9861,6,0,0,0,3,0,56.0,6,0,2,13,32,22,5,4,18,0,44,7,3,8,4,91,89,50,1,10,11,8,4,0,2,5,3,3,1,2,21,44,0,4,10,1,2,16,12,13,1,7,28,7,77,9,80,52,11,95,1,1,0,1,85,38,2,7,38,328,98,11,0.06264430643253033,0.07422325944975461,0.0,0.06829154065837713,0.0,0.12243058245582356,0.11106079582254946,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.104250162565246,0.0,0.0,0.08520055307784301,0.06568801735220622,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11712794030930393,0.0,0.05885638801782956,0.04816960484434798,0.1046107584334701,0.07637477551567957,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06574133475436629,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07026091641757763,0.05001638127276797,0.0693147335538436,0.0688118290661208,0.161601580859257,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.065014899816484,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05548426168397911,0.0,0.0698649609468281,0.0,0.056665361622451026,0.0,0.0,0.05630066329336144,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0950245307492722,0.0,0.0,0.06862377566732936,0.05725576118203263,0.10657043009930303,0.0,0.0,0.096797671507704,0.0,0.06545812912519716,0.06009412694113547,0.10680660895264572,0.0,0.10020474904079113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25193494869851124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07228311883755904,0.0,0.07071779687114081,0.0,0.0,0.06216480795923177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10328301757551683,0.10212694153342773,0.0,0.2653251015530277,0.0,0.0,0.04424752624553425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05543823989142844,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056538932352375885,0.0,0.04181556098472551,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13316196762618554,0.0,0.09289991891319327,0.04831515101975893,0.0,0.0666229305751576,0.0,0.0,0.06010890154830033,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0848988065721517,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1391181776789571,0.0,0.0,0.04342967442654092,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07062204302267637,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07130293530425913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2674894770535287,0.0,0.0,0.06271787912657864,0.06339938252962468,0.0,0.0,0.065351673824707,0.0,0.06430348033011962,0.0,0.07041482512371404,0.06268954740144624,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0500278240379682,0.0,0.0,0.06548943062043369,0.07171274334624482,0.0,0.07108801657101795,0.0,0.0,0.047100722257134686,0.05035112058631483,0.21901553992642514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16647237449549285,0.0,0.0,0.04973258187049796,0.14611359541190408,0.0,0.0,0.3591559161543453,0.139200258859001,0.042531371987416605,0.0,0.12238876962168907,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07389846998383982,0.1491724037810756,0.05024948397386185,0.0,0.0563247547616032,0.05807189966940542,0.05652674285679846,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2736348070378247,0.0,0.0,0.08900143587342449,0.0,0.0,0.08068175893657101
divorce,energy_overload,2018/04/19,"does magic happen in real life? Wife left about 1 and half years ago. Have been optimistic that she will come back or form some sort of contact.  no I was wrong
heart says that my love will win, mind says that she never loved me and it's over!

I know that there is nothing but a formal divorce waiting ahead. but heart is sinking every moment. I really love(d) her. someone screwed up her head and life has gone up side down since then.

Now waiting for some kind if magic only.
#divorce #divorce_men #men #love #magic
",1.5507226107226089,4.249148656565659,2.0406060606060628,93.99629370629371,87.68686868686869,4.258275058275058,18.726495726495727,5.873414542411696,-0.1505965811965808,403,11,78,3,13,123,77,99,0.095,0.797,0.108,0.334,0,0,0,0,3,0,17.0,0,0,0,2,4,7,1,0,1,0,8,9,3,0,1,17,17,8,0,1,4,1,0,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,5,4,0,2,1,0,0,2,2,2,0,1,3,2,9,5,9,12,3,17,0,0,0,4,14,7,1,5,8,49,14,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1419365710531953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12312226812273508,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13792905832215327,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1401219450611419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13490786538211158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14159343969419014,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16432914343538413,0.0,0.0,0.37948554657600103,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16674016637318856,0.08799767283088572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1739706672752488,0.0,0.2261947469892793,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.5780576038318243,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16167538649767854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12349428643783425,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15363929841042262,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217783484240188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18225142487335794,0.102576865250068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2546674361990585,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13245278065508592,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13566901506119086,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17506590157081273,0.0,0.10311192284534547
divorce,freetoflyaway,2018/04/19,"How to start separation when stuck in a leased apartment and how screwed am I STBXH won't work So I STBXH and I have been through counseling and I have decided we need to end things until he gets himself together mentally. He has severe ADHD and one of the therapists refused to see us until he had testing done because he said he had never heard of ADD so bad. We're setting a horrible example for our kids of a married couple and neither of us are happy. STBXH is also severely depressed but doesn't follow through with treatment and I can't keep being his mom.

We signed a lease on a fancy apartment two years ago thinking the change and nice place would help things. The day before we moved in he got fired from his job, found a different job got fired from that job, and since then has not had consistent income (a pattern over the past 6 years). We cannot afford the apartment without his income so we are already struggling. He works part time for minimum wage and is not looking for full time work or not trying very hard because he says his self-esteem is low.

I want to separate as soon as school is out but we are in an expensive apartment with a lease that is not up until December (we did a 2 year lease). The landlord said as soon as they find a new tenant we can break the lease. Great but I need STBXH to help me get it show ready. It looks like we are hoarders and I had expected him to work on this since he is either not working or working part time. But he sleeps all day and plays video games.

I have fibromyalgia and after working all day I don't have a lot of energy to clean. We are broke so I've thought of hiring help to clean but I know he won't help keep it that way.

I've asked him to move out and he said he would have to live in his car. We don't fight and we get along pretty well other than he doesn't do anything to be a partner and there is no change in sight.

How do I get out of this before December?

Also am I going to have to pay him spousal support if he is underemployed? He has tech skills and could be making at least 50K a year but he's at 10K right now.

I just came from therapy and the family therapist said in her last visit with him she asked how things were going and he said great. So he is in complete denial.

",2.9740384615384627,4.274223455128205,4.003076923076922,89.51692307692308,74.06410256410257,7.165811965811964,24.75213675213676,7.6953281115453125,1.0837495726495732,1779,55,385,23,36,576,227,468,0.081,0.784,0.135,0.9845,9,0,0,0,1,0,29.0,15,0,1,8,18,15,2,1,22,0,50,2,1,5,3,82,84,47,0,8,17,1,3,1,1,4,0,7,4,2,12,39,0,3,6,4,3,8,17,7,1,2,20,14,43,8,58,56,9,61,0,3,4,1,67,24,1,4,27,249,55,15,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677528031884943,0.0,0.0640045659351335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07967900466984341,0.11548316341070294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05941781081525172,0.0,0.13500214765886112,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06028739607068359,0.08802988163500661,0.0,0.12288071867099727,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08258223930746562,0.0,0.0,0.15276469871185927,0.0,0.07570461071629245,0.0,0.0,0.057649087588469726,0.07989244811664542,0.0,0.13969698705186198,0.0,0.06218927370465984,0.0,0.0,0.07543790229818599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07388984897988436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06395138912904147,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0680675865384211,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06599322676558038,0.0,0.0,0.07916805376250581,0.0,0.0,0.15089461985409314,0.0,0.08207049234475408,0.0,0.11549640752155728,0.1592105200360855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07686259246640667,0.06468067897210586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19358750812605968,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21495424305596653,0.12835661891239733,0.0,0.0,0.03968147751527592,0.05885596726295589,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0352752693833793,0.0,0.0637575310186363,0.0,0.12126649480986447,0.0,0.0,0.0613853321061616,0.0,0.0,0.04819678826068801,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0727647363801588,0.0,0.0,0.08456455318066182,0.0,0.1534830337538753,0.0,0.10707683015253112,0.05568824257393306,0.06973515645394072,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04892735751455999,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15637997839214787,0.06892697040958218,0.0,0.0,0.07543790229818599,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07345751357652343,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0616618951601312,0.34341310307177186,0.05741958746356195,0.0,0.07307439009977308,0.057537308464470666,0.0,0.07532460910811396,0.16314013082332332,0.0,0.1194559326017954,0.0,0.07225623119990056,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05110642389593623,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07548338815970998,0.0,0.0,0.08193634144468773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.082571665300906,0.16766901858323913,0.14390755969549315,0.046265463010077605,0.0,0.05732197922551571,0.12630835006580032,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.049021834978200084,0.0,0.07053290062397323,0.0,0.1737052510618724,0.0,0.0,0.05957593299830095,0.04258784082677919,0.057312242859387526,0.0,0.0,0.06492014492097307,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06960216255768323,0.0,0.3679580432693307,0.0,0.0,0.1025834225028226,0.0,0.0,0.1859882570216491
divorce,paper_schemes,2018/04/19,"Car Loan Questions! I filed for divorce pro se. My ex husband never filed an appearance or participated in the court process, only signed the paperwork stating he was served the divorce papers. In the Judgement, he received a vehicle that we financed together as his sole individual property. Four months later he still has not refinanced and owes $1500 more than what the original loan was taken out for due to not paying.

I'm wondering if anyone here has any experience being a cosigner on an auto loan and being stuck in a similar position. I do not know where he lives now and I do not know his phone number. I emailed him about one month ago with no response. 

Thank you for your help!",4.588054968287526,6.836542294573642,5.540225510923187,76.22949260042284,71.79069767441861,8.721916842847076,31.10711768851304,9.339509955726095,3.141226356589148,552,25,95,13,11,181,96,129,0.033,0.894,0.07400000000000001,0.6351,1,0,0,0,2,0,12.0,1,2,0,0,5,1,0,0,10,0,8,0,0,1,1,20,17,6,0,1,6,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,2,6,0,0,4,0,6,3,6,0,0,2,4,0,11,1,13,11,1,19,0,0,0,0,19,6,0,5,9,62,13,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.243722928807044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18697262322242214,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1922485485345713,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2689498236214938,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18429042432987436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3022061247697683,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.24278224477166874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4389183484044503,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21205520859232704,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18631044048206186,0.2091087273910748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.30800230419864194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2195721308509016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2531332214573708,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2981670729146983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,thebigdthrowaway123,2018/04/19,"Not sad or angry... just relieved and ready to move on I was just reaching out to see if anyone else felt this way. Was in an 7 year toxic marriage with someone who I'm beginning to believe has a narcissistic disorder. Things came to a head the second week of March and I told him to get out of my house. Changed the locks and called a lawyer. Thankfully in our state we can get divorced fairly quickly as long as we can come to terms on a division of assets because we have no children together. Ever since this has happened people have asked if I'm ok and if I'm ok with it moving this fast. And the answer is wholeheartedly Yes! There's been so much shit in our relationship the past few years and I've done my hurting and crying and begging and pleading and fighting for our marriage \(we did marriage counseling and even renewed our vows\) that now I'm just done. I feel like I've already mourned the relationship while I was in it. I've hidden him from view on social media and only reach out to him on things concerning the agreement. I found out he was messaging other women to hang out and getting them to send him naked photos about 3 weeks after he left and I was just not upset at all \(he had an emotional affair that I found out about about 2 years ago and may have had a physical one, but I'm not sure\) and just shrugged and thought, sounds about right. Anyway, the whole point of this post is that ever since he left I have done nothing but feel relieved and at peace and so ready to enjoy my life. I come home to my cat, go to the gym, watch tv, do laundry, go out with friends, and coworkers, etc and I am not sad. When sit home at night on the couch by myself and watch tv, I don't feel sad or miss him. I haven't cried at all. I sleep in bed by myself at night and am fine \(he typically slept on the couch anyway\). I was just curious if anyone else has had this experience? I just feel freaking great and like the person I really am and hid away for so long is finally coming back out and I just feel happy! ",3.880641229022292,4.829537949152544,4.649852216748768,87.09089588377725,71.4455205811138,7.633597728980546,26.10578609000585,7.873277556716777,1.3058438507138683,1595,49,338,20,29,514,208,413,0.048,0.785,0.16699999999999998,0.9937,0,0,0,0,3,0,43.0,8,0,1,0,25,24,2,1,18,3,33,5,4,0,5,81,64,41,1,4,20,0,6,2,1,1,1,1,5,3,14,45,0,0,10,3,0,10,7,10,0,2,21,11,37,14,56,42,7,67,0,6,4,0,38,29,1,7,26,227,51,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07876225022144223,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0980507814014688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12425526279783786,0.18207947223312115,0.0,0.0,0.08306495621824525,0.0,0.08347971083508796,0.06832197521581633,0.0,0.054163569918801835,0.0,0.0,0.10010617556104616,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09072818708307376,0.10162342172234376,0.0,0.0,0.09399400846762103,0.2296153047188772,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19520027599155748,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10183249477300564,0.0,0.0,0.27278041913805023,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14844947991731525,0.09994693834545634,0.0,0.0,0.09909386107042656,0.05868614141674198,0.16074408103925453,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0869146510292413,0.0,0.0,0.2246320979009141,0.06347613900361962,0.08531219314832307,0.09733341005202677,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1948440386676944,0.06864710780862958,0.0,0.13926506217613838,0.0,0.10099368005097616,0.0,0.0,0.097960033270726,0.0,0.0,0.0785718426488466,0.09458498236896504,0.0,0.0,0.09118814846585392,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17825231002353473,0.0,0.0,0.1025236862477829,0.0951182819744916,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1930766838377268,0.0,0.0627590448640205,0.08681754350520167,0.0,0.0,0.15726307343021856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1888719801884174,0.06531670321238554,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16676382923521987,0.0,0.08525622942316471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06020865416291176,0.0675762185809872,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08481962514842158,0.06159903427460357,0.07758244777076807,0.0,0.0,0.08399419355668608,0.0,0.08509599347287057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056921092765648724,0.0,0.0,0.19078835091645566,0.0,0.07587942430001984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07080382188576577,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09120566389534462,0.14699916977100774,0.0,0.08891652148055583,0.09057378482364953,0.07528431067664271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08374229153018202,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08180330929622802,0.0,0.0,0.11805911093885277,0.0,0.0,0.07053884367443394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08490223133240077,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07052686237131857,0.14254399676988755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09920047944112388,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1716540073012349
divorce,scootboobit,2018/04/19,"7 years together, 2 years married, being dumped and pretty heart broken (vent?) Here goes. I married the love of my life 2 years ago after 7 years together \(me 31 her 30\). Life was good, we started a new life in a new part of Canada, I had a great job and she started and finished her masters. 6 months ago she said we needed to talk about the relationship as she was feeling distant. Fair enough, she was doing another program for school so I had been giving her a bit of space. I started working on myself \(become a better communicator\), we took a holiday and hoped it would improve. It didn't, and she let on that she was dealing with some pretty serious mental health issues from a suicide in the family 4 years ago. Of course I knew all about it, we had got through that hard time, but I guess not completely \(she was on meds for anxiety but went off them 10 months ago when we hoped to start a family\). 

She now believes that the last 4 years of her life she just lived on ""auto pilot,"" and that the real reason she said yes to marriage was because ""that's the way life was headed."" The last 3 months of my life have been the hardest ever. We've read relationship books, she's doing counseling and seeing a psychologist for the PTSD and Trauma \(she was first responder \[nurse\] at the suicide\), had a lot of conversations and a lot of tears, but she says she just needs to be ""free"" and doesn't really have any ambition to fix the relationship. We've been separated \(her living with friends\) for the last month, and she says they are the best weekends of her last few months as she doesn't feel anxiety as she does when I'm home. She did agree to see a counselor with me next month, so maybe that's a step?

Last weekend I finally brought up the word divorce, as she had kind of refused to but with everything we talked about above, it was the elephant in the room. She said if that's what she needs to be happy, then that's what we will do. I guess I'm afraid while she spends the next 2 months figuring life out, she will be ""getting over me"" while I spend the next 2 months hoping for the best. 

She's claimed if we do split she has no interest in taking 1/2 my pension, RRSP or TFSA \(equivalent to 401K in the US I think?\) and that she still ""loves me as a person"" and wouldn't want to take what I've worked so hard to save \(my savings are likely double hers due to her schooling\). But at the same time I think she would love to keep the house, and may want to just buy me out of the original mortgage without considering the value increase \(10% since we bought\). 

So there it is. I spend 95% of my work day thinking about this and going over the worst in my head like, did she find someone else \- I trust her emphatically so I doubt it but maybe? Does she think grass is greener on the other side? Some days I think I've come to grips with it, others I struggle just to keep the front up at work. I guess it was a bit of a rant, but am happy to hear any advice regarding anything I talked about. Thanks all.",5.499138751601684,5.5376189060955525,5.682373695771557,84.35425064067363,67.51729818780889,8.721380194032582,29.216959546036968,8.344100000000001,1.8094990298370857,2384,75,500,30,36,756,283,607,0.075,0.775,0.151,0.9951,2,0,0,0,1,2,109.0,10,0,2,9,21,30,1,3,43,1,46,14,3,2,3,91,94,40,2,13,16,0,5,2,1,6,8,6,2,1,23,32,0,3,11,5,6,8,7,7,0,1,30,13,80,24,75,53,17,85,0,0,2,3,74,24,0,15,54,328,103,11,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0534802841214457,0.19405487734200655,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11859711788270624,0.0,0.07443482983594384,0.05738784805076036,0.08373466132870855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045037083765905934,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.033362127438738585,0.06044358537390099,0.0,0.06166054031296464,0.11486885680561737,0.048403116529724566,0.11949920283334035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.047143957149303986,0.05738203490694387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07059100990511342,0.05642292021301034,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09578696547337487,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045718833476453884,0.0,0.0,0.056549410721260726,0.0,0.0,0.04950527194472231,0.0,0.0,0.04918665596059325,0.0,0.10318675678596473,0.0,0.05534498326632662,0.0,0.0,0.059952651479043224,0.05002107013106179,0.0465522320185964,0.0,0.0,0.04228328307099498,0.0,0.02859350395508397,0.05250078727677048,0.031103599978906188,0.045903864344592336,0.04377156705068642,0.06033862093618308,0.18086960749807995,0.0,0.0,0.11651950712683225,0.09805238923931098,0.0,0.11233493784036497,0.0581740835569048,0.06168325923940049,0.06485381167749824,0.0,0.0,0.054897381138003264,0.16307394089188545,0.0,0.06314960943703334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05712257789668002,0.054309822355283366,0.09729082439338628,0.0,0.056991553151950085,0.0,0.22305610820861504,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05596383710130512,0.27059565665225943,0.053475388617863856,0.0,0.0966529471818442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09305682273146004,0.1481844538582983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10996473594097296,0.0,0.06079128424455404,0.0,0.05515369015776808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3494716179543959,0.0,0.0,0.12174198534413293,0.0,0.10571470202461644,0.1746138841142123,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059265884164398625,0.0,0.0,0.04778701834864029,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11135759284257776,0.0,0.0,0.06397495971735316,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05474354300430726,0.062293279379615575,0.03506062753335299,0.05627025220324817,0.0,0.17627453157104533,0.0,0.0,0.1561786724601077,0.08704496967890335,0.0,0.11077679850235067,0.08722342830961317,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045272173184311565,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.046371477557646604,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15494911457669294,0.0,0.0437064365759042,0.0,0.0,0.057214354228793514,0.0,0.11972870133332475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08229839172890573,0.13196664660617427,0.0,0.05038686397042568,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17533981010610042,0.0,0.0,0.0638255282290614,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06080563568538391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06583192678518514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06456084895784786,0.0434411205504668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05073408345357691,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05275654525787329,0.0,0.159372676688634,0.0,0.0,0.07775544283545087,0.0,0.0,0.2114610567781661
divorce,ladyforreal,2018/04/19,"Advice on moving out of state when stbx is an addict Hello, I just need to get this off my chest and see if anyone has been in similar circumstances. I left my stbx husband because he is a full blown meth addict and alcoholic. I moved out of state (FL) with our toddler to be closer to my family for support. He was previously very cooperative and understood why I was moving and agreed it was in the best interest of our child.

Well now he is dating a new woman who is completely aware of and enabling his addiction. He has turned hateful towards me and is threatening to take me to court to make me move back. Saying things like I abandoned him and kidnapped his child. 

He actually gave me the money to move. Literally wrote me a check for what was in our savings account at the time. Not only that, but last year I left him and moved out of state when we were being investigated by CPS due to his addiction. The case was closed because I am a sober stable parent and my husband was interviewed and told the CPS worker I was allowed to move. I did ended up giving the relationship one more shot after this because he went to rehab. Needless to say he did not stay sober long.

I've also already arranged visitation twice in 4 months since I left. Is there anyway possible way that the courts could force me to move back? I have a great job, a new relationship and am finally starting to find peace and happiness for myself and our child after a traumatic few years. At this point in time I cannot even consult an attorney or file for divorce until I have been a FL resident for 6 months. I am hoping to get primary custody of our son and only supervised visitation pending he pass random drug screens. At this point in time I know he can not actually afford an attorney and he definitely cannot pass a drug test as he is dependent upon them to ""function"" in any capacity. His words btw. 

Thank you for any advice!",5.864133941093968,6.3476544059139774,6.831804581580182,74.88944600280506,66.76881720430107,10.017952314165498,31.496493688639553,9.971965246562196,3.0454879382889195,1517,57,283,33,23,508,201,372,0.03,0.856,0.114,0.9848,4,0,4,0,1,0,28.0,6,1,1,3,11,12,1,0,19,0,32,9,1,3,0,42,51,23,0,4,7,4,0,1,0,0,8,2,0,4,10,21,1,1,3,0,3,13,5,2,1,2,17,4,40,10,51,31,4,68,0,1,2,0,48,26,0,5,25,190,50,6,0.0,0.0,0.1445742709258799,0.32301351004629897,0.0,0.14477170889253216,0.0,0.07916432733576033,0.0,0.0,0.08174430663406038,0.059238259564308116,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10074794565417436,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05179540722604612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11391918375477017,0.0,0.13546746097950774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07773781016438278,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07766689528373277,0.0,0.0,0.05914336797418901,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17180844123606742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0656090269237139,0.0,0.0,0.04892625913400548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06983191731488869,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08114623874800066,0.06770378955974078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07740292518645994,0.07106010015767199,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08166865050037254,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07885489224290926,0.0,0.07313435489272342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07357382097779777,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07350863894224649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04071003245010366,0.06038153030553839,0.0,0.0,0.2414501866572923,0.0,0.0,0.03618961417781608,0.0,0.0,0.06555460707680788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04944606241861962,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11825293229979282,0.6298454267238666,0.0,0.05492614568706125,0.0,0.14308542221292556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05019556823076402,0.11267571872245695,0.0,0.0,0.08225222782005781,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14005083927817658,0.08350914982834398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15905902264729774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11781583828441368,0.0,0.0,0.05902869150420389,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06127613180109522,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0524311166188654,0.07895477218943413,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0840601542059999,0.0,0.0,0.055695659650221385,0.0,0.0,0.06819889350409171,0.0,0.0,0.0492125612238393,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1295822976329018,0.0,0.0,0.07078244490000292,0.0,0.0,0.0805730209100245,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.061120157753006214,0.0,0.0587977921360337,0.0,0.0,0.06660289313523737,0.06866885695662718,0.0668417400077328,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09540456218867822
divorce,asking_question_s,2018/04/19,"I give up Is anyone really surprised that divorced dads commit suicide? Besides the courts and the state welfare budget, does anyone honestly care if a single father swallows a bullet? 

I quit, I give up, I’m done fighting, I get it. My sole purpose and existence in this life is to give someone money. Lawyers want my money, court wants my money, the police coach the parent with less income. 

",4.914583333333333,7.131279069444448,5.478888888888887,77.155,70.80555555555556,6.466666666666668,28.66666666666667,7.1686216300943375,1.9647333333333337,311,12,47,3,6,100,54,72,0.091,0.7509999999999999,0.159,0.5028,2,0,0,0,3,2,11.0,0,0,0,1,0,4,1,0,6,0,3,2,0,0,1,7,11,3,1,3,1,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,3,3,1,0,0,1,4,0,0,1,0,0,1,0,7,3,5,10,2,4,0,0,0,0,8,3,0,1,0,29,10,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3131498496346391,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2283084419154664,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1959599764745961,0.2291550080400047,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11699258525779263,0.6444333833195751,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15816622185538182,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2486443697754416,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2381738671530704,0.0,0.0,0.1434533333980636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18973257178325612,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2449397303762985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2641558249692419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,GadtheAnton,2018/04/19,"12 years, 3 young kids, 4 years marriage counseling, mixed faith marriage I've been married for 12 years. I have 3 small girls. 

I have been doing marriage counseling for 4 years and it just seems we are going in circles. It's not necessarily her fault...not necessarily my fault. We just dont connect well anymore. I left my religion(mormonism) a few years back and she is still devout. 

I am not abusive and she isn't. It's just a dull pain all the time. She doesn't love me for me and I have some issues with her too. 

I just want to put down this pained animal, but it's not terrible. Part of me feels like it would be better to quit while we dont hate each other's guts. 

When I go to look at leaving, however, I begin to feel like I'm leaving something good even though I know it's not. I cant commit somehow.....help...",1.0453911900065762,3.245195396449706,2.8042110453648914,91.68042570677187,83.20118343195267,5.649046679815911,20.631492439184747,6.937597516519254,0.34073938198553577,638,19,141,8,18,211,103,169,0.06,0.754,0.18600000000000005,0.9668,1,0,1,0,0,0,31.0,3,0,0,2,11,13,1,0,3,0,16,4,1,0,2,27,28,8,0,2,9,0,2,2,0,1,2,0,0,2,8,9,0,0,4,0,0,3,9,6,1,0,2,3,23,7,12,24,5,20,1,1,1,1,14,5,0,2,14,88,31,0,0.0,0.16936198476073766,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14175929165459633,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10991298337015012,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12641990278535892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3350521162212411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09441133493610412,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14455076255037455,0.20423448791307955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16247359126940855,0.11989232272578808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14112487235538096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0958104940385044,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1491935078211889,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07855676229771354,0.0,0.0,0.3027082489976369,0.1553060656749503,0.0,0.0,0.1396677304100465,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12003463333476125,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12901004173676342,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3041990956882989,0.0,0.0,0.15479142360493478,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14369541774448205,0.0,0.15203559410644985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.130128328165878,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11004314306723838,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11415305168680848,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14043903366277674,0.0,0.08335018127383415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08431044149790626,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1285213331818785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10154134928743364,0.0,0.0,0.4602473311191342
divorce,AudiovisualHoe,2018/04/19,"fear of never having sex again has anyone else experienced this fear?

my husband insisted that he was straight, but within the first year of marriage, he started painting his toenails, wearing a full face of makeup, wearing women's clothing, and mostly stopped having sex with me. i'm still not sure if he is attracted to women or not-- which is fine, but why did you marry me? he says stuff like ""i'm so straight that i'm not afraid to wear lipstick and a smokey eye."" long story short, we're divorcing. he initiated the divorce, and has been aggressively difficult to deal with. i still miss him terribly, despite the aforementioned. all of the misery aside, i've got this fear of either never having decent sex again, only having horribly regretful one night stands (i'm personally not a fan)... basically not having a truly fulfilling, loving sexual experience again.

i guess this is just a rant. i need a hug today.",5.525645604395606,7.494055767857144,6.236904761904764,73.36450549450552,68.70238095238096,8.978754578754577,30.18498168498169,9.466822959209583,3.0512146520146524,731,29,119,16,13,239,111,168,0.232,0.6559999999999999,0.112,-0.9748,0,0,1,0,1,0,31.0,0,1,0,1,7,15,1,4,10,0,13,11,6,0,4,25,23,8,0,3,11,1,0,1,0,0,0,1,0,3,7,5,0,1,0,0,0,0,7,9,0,2,4,3,9,6,11,19,4,20,0,2,1,5,18,5,0,4,15,77,16,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11924225002440104,0.17473357235304662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1758144107220632,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14246036426716915,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16681625092490973,0.0,0.5756988874757133,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14505724285888774,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1363926616762242,0.0,0.18786386418707712,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08331493569004557,0.0,0.0,0.150918378017371,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.153914770421377,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1264497674148937,0.2630546799410109,0.0,0.0,0.1600358308609093,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11555913579302413,0.12969978365983334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14890485000443687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13561651889551984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12070576623985613,0.0,0.2723794288684105,0.1425751505971692,0.0,0.0,0.19522212339689812,0.0,0.0,0.16072750625468088,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16164752846189526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1538815872087606,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10981914485508826
divorce,Ketosubuser,2018/04/20,"What should your BFF say? My Bff just told me. 

What is the best thing to do & say? I just want to support her. Does that mean I should bad mouth him? 

My personal feelings are that they are two good people. And it would have worked out if it weren’t a 3 person relationship (his mom). He had to choose between wife and Mom. A young child is involved. ",0.2325000000000017,2.5502272500000025,1.132777777777779,101.19,89.0,4.311111111111112,16.333333333333336,5.82211442006289,-0.8257333333333334,270,6,64,2,9,83,56,72,0.042,0.7140000000000001,0.244,0.9491,1,0,0,0,0,0,13.0,0,1,1,2,2,4,0,0,3,0,11,1,1,0,0,13,16,3,0,5,3,3,1,0,0,3,0,2,0,3,7,3,0,0,3,0,0,0,1,1,0,1,3,3,10,3,5,10,1,2,0,0,0,0,17,1,0,1,1,43,17,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22321356728070346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17201114620023178,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2161965463814784,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18028220789860644,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10416569446641688,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1727928215331456,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2244071119746474,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4825567753320006,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1428225583884507,0.3597629023618572,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22117944469006098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32765751044784697,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.233779611095326,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1368650049786953,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19685298697581888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.201243474953406,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12151102539274512,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499789553314752,0.0,0.0,0.14634478544375026,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,buckus69,2018/04/20,"I need to change some details on my divorce filing, how do I do that in AZ I used an online form-filling service provided by the court to generate my divorce papers. However, I had contemplated retaining an interest in our shared residence should she sell it, but later changed my mind. Unfortunately, I did not change it on the paperwork, and didn't notice it until after I filed.

What is the process for changing that on the paperwork after filing but before finalizing the divorce?",8.19034090909091,8.509714625000004,8.83990909090909,63.03236363636366,61.84090909090909,12.04,40.32727272727273,11.602472056035307,5.204651818181818,389,20,60,11,5,131,60,88,0.037000000000000005,0.919,0.044,-0.1027,1,0,0,0,3,0,10.0,1,0,0,0,1,2,0,0,7,0,7,0,0,2,0,11,9,5,0,2,3,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,6,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,2,0,0,0,3,0,11,2,12,5,1,10,0,0,0,0,6,5,0,1,5,49,17,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1757538792531668,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.8739853966328569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2262590466584188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2085507364678877,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1531498878015723,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2351519108991985,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17838785045713587,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,lofenomi,2018/04/20,"Trying to figure out where I go from here... My husband and I have been together 10 years, we have 2 young children and we live in Texas. Through a lot of soul searching and professional counseling I came to the finally conclusion that I’ve been being emotionally abused for around 8 years now, specifically gas lighting with sporadic physical abuse. 

There was an attempt to separate around 3 years ago. Mutual but we ended up trying to hash it out. It never really got better it just quiet and neutral.   Now after 5 months of a polyamorous lifestyle and our relationship taking the worst turn and him getting progressively more emotionally abusive; insulting my body and my weight, my mothering, who I am as a person, who I am as a partner in general. 

Lots of:
-“You’re a worthless sack of shit.”
-“All you are a repulsive whore.”
-“you could stand to lose 50 pounds” 

I could go on. 

Well now we’re at the end of our lease and agreed to go our separate ways and attempt not to get lawyers involved.  I am a massage therapist and my income is not always consistent so currently hiring a lawyer is not in the cards. 

When he was in his “logical” state of mind he agreed to $400 or support and to give me the one car we have(I travel a lot for work and he has a work truck). And to help me move out and find a place for the kids and I. He decided it would be best to live with his parents.  Now he’s regretting this. Telling me I’m not being amicable, that we should just have a 3 bedroom and live in different rooms. That I’m trying to screw him over. I really don’t want to. I know that the moment we lawyer up though he is going to get the car back (it’s in his and his fathers name) and he will be required to pay more for support.  I don’t want that for either of us.  He’s still agreeing to pay and give the car but what should I do? Do I need to lawyer up? Do I need to draft a separation agreement? Should I just start on getting the divorce paperwork together? 

I am the sole caretaker of the children, I pick up my oldest from school everyday but Friday, I take care of our 3 year old M-Th full time and arrange childcare when I do work. I work 3-5 days a week depending on my business and how many gigs I get. What can I do to protect me and the kids? I need some guidance and reassurance. ",3.0777991440464336,4.6424152603036895,4.499124113267282,84.9977592777159,74.27114967462039,8.020660139532158,27.210001758808694,8.685302888712808,1.958850688866741,1789,68,371,35,37,595,232,461,0.109,0.7929999999999999,0.097,-0.8319,4,0,0,0,3,0,51.0,11,2,0,12,20,16,3,0,28,0,35,5,2,3,2,80,63,34,0,12,12,4,1,0,1,5,0,1,2,6,15,37,1,2,6,1,2,10,7,8,1,1,6,3,53,8,61,46,11,66,1,3,0,2,49,24,2,6,29,254,68,14,0.0,0.31458497334521185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07845262557079796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07364163842742323,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15757298000068895,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06805339264424115,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09287850463901692,0.07827376728849021,0.0,0.09830695164441636,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10122392683285558,0.0902347713676188,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14132498883470224,0.0,0.0,0.057077154097909866,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09246686414284924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1991080678603836,0.1567748898151363,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09695077975643916,0.08089019641029832,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2311959885029641,0.16980040544458902,0.20119332151582392,0.0,0.07078398456169555,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.059321737708484513,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0486389689878847,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2344494788102891,0.0,0.0,0.0990122895307172,0.0,0.2257264183376139,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08972821499492017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08936286445980675,0.0,0.07064230068970881,0.09406474993335807,0.0,0.19687169986696046,0.06825901839216071,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09286907702641536,0.0,0.05997196611173826,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0982721780688247,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07727746107702058,0.09246686414284924,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11339465709191683,0.0,0.0,0.095019168546075,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08956982492658422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09084712256696742,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06264292366631771,0.0,0.0706786606075373,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20086445465518285,0.0,0.0,0.13308657839107182,0.0,0.07735557818029487,0.0,0.0,0.10275887776557413,0.0,0.0,0.08695381025410606,0.0,0.05160684788342639,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1802633112879413,0.09626591848351346,0.0,0.0,0.10645828795284452,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10440279943897043,0.07024961210153376,0.0709918188885656,0.10777288813177716,0.0795748826208553,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2577251363475564,0.0,0.0,0.0628700368309757,0.0,0.0,0.22797228409411505
divorce,duhvorced,2018/04/20,"Divorce is not a phase, it's a transition I remember when I was young, I asked my parents how long puberty lasts.  I thought it was like a cold, or 4th grade - something that you just had to tolerate until it was over, until you could get back to your normal life.

I remember feeling like that about divorce at times:  ""Just get through this and you can get back to your normal life.""

But that's not how it works.  It's been over four years and, by any measure, I can say I've recovered well.  I have a new wife and step-daughter I wouldn't trade for the world, and a life I'm genuinely blessed to have.  But it's not ""back to normal"".  It's different, and I'm different.

I feel the presence of my divorce in my life every day.  I see it's impact on my son, every day.  It has changed how I approach life, especially when it comes to relationships.  I'm more aware, more grateful, but I also have harder edges.  People who lie or deceive, or people who take their relationships for granted, I have little time for.  Life is too short to suffer fools.

Divorce is not a phase.  It's not a traffic jam you just have to suffer through for a bit until things clear up.  Divorce is like puberty or having your first kid.  Or (I imagine) going to war.  It is an experience that fundamentally alters you.   It is a transition from who you were to who you become.",2.413370646766168,4.344981332089554,3.8672388059701497,87.22546019900497,77.09701492537314,6.854726368159205,25.345771144278608,7.793537801064563,1.3629995024875623,1039,38,215,16,24,343,130,268,0.087,0.836,0.077,-0.8598,3,0,1,0,5,0,43.0,0,10,1,2,15,9,1,0,12,0,23,6,0,3,1,37,37,22,1,5,16,3,2,3,0,1,6,1,0,1,23,6,0,0,6,0,1,3,6,4,1,2,7,5,29,5,29,28,3,30,1,2,1,0,28,9,0,5,21,152,52,3,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0901372221539177,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07664928059814789,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10537223102822424,0.0,0.0,0.26000997115427216,0.0,0.0,0.12448358774765507,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12305432751596955,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11923630404976406,0.0970929982108756,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08999283465161746,0.0,0.0,0.14538221254348532,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2355239589028067,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18993255361150527,0.0,0.0,0.11025576976081107,0.0,0.0,0.1139830147104595,0.08052279430925557,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09587434007245983,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1766649977786995,0.0,0.06405787633693183,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09187682844117663,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4776787378648877,0.16519887569970731,0.11296888497020148,0.0,0.09974820706675892,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10885973510913544,0.0,0.0,0.3313069138393369,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12515538751814093,0.0,0.0,0.1562831780382813,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2420249778672233,0.2553656311856698,0.0,0.0,0.08963457457054234,0.0,0.0,0.08981834238045856,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08677262557260533,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0847467849971367,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07488207108753682,0.0,0.0,0.08948220369366333,0.131448700382249,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10134328420144308,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0820570225129078,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07258402154069586
divorce,newtomelbsy,2018/04/20,"blindsided my wife told me she doesn't see a future for us on tuesday night. last night, she confirmed it was indeed over.
 i moved from the usa to australia to be with her and in the 3 years we've been here, i've been so lonely and never really found my place. she's been staying at her moms the last 3 nights. just 6 months ago we were celebrating our marriage finally being recognised in australia and now it's over. i feel so miserable, i just need support so badly. i've tried and tried to suggest therapy, me quitting weed, everything, but she says its too late. i was in a deep well of depression all of last year and didn't see how difficult of a partner i was being. now it's too late. i am so crushed. i can't stop having panic attacks. my family is so far away. ",2.1406469002695445,3.9300644528301913,3.7562668463611857,88.36033018867926,77.42767295597484,7.058580413297397,24.564690026954175,7.957251820313856,1.3214614555256072,604,21,128,10,14,201,100,159,0.13,0.773,0.098,-0.8022,0,2,0,0,0,0,18.0,3,0,0,1,14,9,1,2,6,0,16,0,0,1,2,17,23,12,0,1,3,2,1,0,1,0,0,1,0,1,4,7,0,1,2,0,0,1,4,7,1,0,10,4,21,2,17,10,1,32,0,3,2,0,16,11,0,0,19,86,25,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12496381419533463,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16037682526008867,0.13244851492366586,0.0,0.11770633627189422,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12141960078360635,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12669719453671047,0.0,0.13289653812405586,0.0,0.07128004511165181,0.0,0.0,0.15442872866814678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15456931573616808,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3447347568041613,0.3180467464732158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16510555078038555,0.11252308349773872,0.1498316958480248,0.0,0.10452948873496952,0.1087268555953715,0.0,0.0,0.39688005572076457,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16540111757777692,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14728649227354002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1499418448617025,0.0,0.0,0.09031073693505863,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11210716851421694,0.0,0.0,0.22467401877361926,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15025816697878536,0.0,0.11785950977145113,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15997417681914158,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16121459601677796,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13470547922592316,0.0,0.1914224520775159,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16957282969818874,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12675140919884678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18156362482422184
divorce,mahadevashamboo,2018/04/20,"what would you do if you were me? 46 y/o female married for 7 years. no kids. no sex life for past 4 years. financials seperate, bedrooms seperate. but best friends and dont want to lose the friendship. what should we do? divorce and accept life as it is or try to build a new future? I feel to old for the secondoption.
please advice",-0.17723202170963148,2.071156134328361,1.227245590230666,97.11242876526458,99.59701492537312,3.6303934871099055,19.523744911804613,5.565023196281405,-0.22107761194029812,259,9,55,2,11,82,53,67,0.057,0.649,0.294,0.9721,0,0,0,0,1,0,11.0,1,2,0,2,0,4,0,0,3,0,7,3,0,0,0,11,9,6,0,4,3,0,1,0,1,2,2,0,1,1,3,3,0,0,2,0,0,0,3,1,0,0,1,1,5,3,7,6,1,6,0,1,0,1,6,0,0,2,6,33,8,0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2552884972891481,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.27416363170992525,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3061806806543138,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13209482562273678,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20183953718595515,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3690543410772537,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2922696590256318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.25231492188737514,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2741358027895605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2493907526587956,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2867718249067989,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17737022604186586,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1540908241692706,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18558306564376126,0.0,0.0,0.3364702606882484
divorce,buddybirthday,2018/04/20,"Married for one year. Enough of the abuse and selfishness. I need to escape. Rant / advice Today is my birthday. And my wife exploded at me in such a way that I instantly realized our relationship was over. I don't want to get into the humiliating details. I'm sure a lot of people have a story like this. And those stories are probably best saved for a real therapist. In the end though. I believe her to be unstable. She lies to her friends about me. We don't fight. It's all egg shells until she literally flips the switch from giggling to a shaking red faced, hitting, throwing shit monster screaming ""fuck you."" So here is the thing. I'm done. As of this moment I'm done. I deserve better. I deserve a real life. I honestly fear what she tells people about me and what she could do in one of her rages. 


So, I'm sitting here in a hotel room looking up divorce in California. Here is my situation: We have no assets together. We have no kids, no house and I literally have no money. I get a check then I pay my bills. That is it. Our situation is complicated. I'm a canadian citizien on a marriage visa. What are the odds I can just file for divorce, serve her and leave. I literally fear for my safety. We have nothing to split up. I'm not talking about doing this tonight obviously.I mean in the long term is it possible to handle a divorce with foreigners and literally no assets, money, or kids, in a relatively easy way? 

Her rages are getting worse. and I have the rest of my life ahead of me. ",1.233686868686867,3.756110946127951,3.5594865319865328,84.23700757575759,86.003367003367,6.5323232323232325,24.7483164983165,7.793537801064563,1.6755447811447817,1169,49,230,24,36,401,158,297,0.184,0.703,0.113,-0.9609,0,0,0,0,5,0,45.0,6,1,0,3,11,18,5,3,20,0,25,6,2,0,2,28,40,15,0,3,3,1,0,1,1,0,2,1,1,2,13,14,1,0,2,1,6,2,8,10,0,2,3,3,39,8,38,34,6,29,0,0,2,1,28,14,2,2,11,166,52,1,0.0,0.1534403802096605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12654924656083574,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14590601092208216,0.13590585316492565,0.11453525404096893,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.103397945820476,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2650539295970855,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11470159450765267,0.1338116548517944,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2914547109103013,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10005402369594417,0.1197238281719369,0.2029805810586073,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14942956317733902,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13712542659563154,0.0,0.0,0.18294419568161807,0.06326883121797845,0.0,0.0,0.11460645450168612,0.10875025941171393,0.0,0.0,0.11009917951510297,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14106719334626822,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09602514754244017,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12426202750904312,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17550974258407415,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.17956273561123542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14599565167194087,0.0,0.0,0.13962659393977248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2948064955448817,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13903821146202378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13293340313809948,0.0,0.29113454783519765,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12205544397400253,0.0,0.0,0.10408994625164164,0.1131917001734618,0.0,0.0,0.1503634560793084,0.08603632010490299,0.0,0.12723645599652528,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12275410297509196,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07638447445782479,0.20558757926327195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13197505226355294,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08339595875328107
divorce,niccip444,2018/04/20,"What I gave up/it's a good day today. After six years of raising my STBXH's kids and giving up on every last goal and dream I had so that I could be the best step-mom I could be, I'm about two months into the divorce process. I've given up a lot in the past few months.

I tried having dinner with the kids every week, but I felt like an observer in a life that I used to have. I'd see my old kitchen and all the things he had replaced, and feel hallow. I'd look at the kids and hear his words echo in my head. ""They're not yours."" I raised them, with very little help from their parents for six years, and they aren't mine. What a waste. I gave it up.

I held onto hope that he'd see what a mistake he was making, waiting for the world to come crashing in on him. I think I'll have to wait a bit longer for that, but now I'm not hoping for it. It's not a way back into my old life, just an inevitability that will happen. I'll be very happy when it does and it doesn't affect me. I gave up on that hope, and found out wasn't so bad.

I had rage, the kind that makes you call up the STBXH and tell him every last thing about him that makes you pissed. I told him every dark secret that I'd been harboring, although none would match the revelation of his infidelity. ""You are the one that caused every problem in our lives."" And I listed them. I gave up a lot of rage that day. It was like leaching poison out of my soul.

I had sadness. I didn't just lose him, I lost a family. I realize now that I was more sad about losing the kids than him. I miss my life, but only aspects of it that made me happy. Driving the kids to school, cooking dinner and chatting with them. Teaching them things, holding them when they got hurt, even yelling at them when they made a mistake. I will have another family someday. It won't replace what I had, but it will be mine. I gave up on feeling bad that I was just a bit relieved to have my own life.

I tried being civil, being friends. All that got me was booty call after booty call. I didn't understand it at the time, but I think he was just lonely. I gave in only twice. Once when I moved out, and on the day before we filed paperwork. I don't regret those times, I regret all the times between him cheating and him telling me. I had to let go of a lot of happy-ish memories. I had to give up my best friend, because he was still using me. I have only talked to him once in the last two weeks. I feel amazing.

I'm so mad at myself for not seeing it earlier, but I am stronger now. You teach people how they can treat you, and I let him use me like a doormat. My next relationship will be better because I won't be a pushover. I'll see the signs, I'll let myself be angry when I  should be. I won't be talked down. I'll be strong. 

I don't think I'm done. I know the road is long, and I'm just starting out. I have bad days where I miss him. I have pangs of guilt, sadness, anger, and even denial from time to time. As I continue on this path, I realize how much I gave up for him, and how much giving him up had earned for me. I don't feel lost anymore, at least not today. 
",0.8335984588200631,2.455335447604792,2.5299214685383333,96.42890006871504,80.75149700598803,5.3384117011877885,18.7352508098557,6.054868835483849,-0.37096905860410345,2381,52,572,16,61,784,261,668,0.124,0.718,0.158,0.9734,1,3,0,0,2,0,91.0,2,6,11,10,27,46,7,1,35,0,64,11,2,13,3,95,122,36,0,12,16,1,5,3,2,9,5,2,1,5,35,28,4,4,14,3,0,4,17,27,0,6,38,12,106,19,73,57,17,84,1,13,5,0,71,40,1,6,42,386,141,5,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0667444322424563,0.0,0.0,0.06312545351538469,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04894428323876784,0.15943971121835518,0.07760305813626259,0.0,0.054162969310747135,0.0,0.13359721422293971,0.05629481922173442,0.1389824974702419,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19498672596804065,0.0,0.0,0.06538790294395934,0.0,0.054830364972211096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10164152018696906,0.0,0.0,0.16420050716559248,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05570209411836853,0.06513786159386785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08408278942809204,0.0,0.26814681353244024,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12001045047947898,0.0,0.1287369926229625,0.0,0.06111568250159969,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06979088196596367,0.09835440142046696,0.0,0.0,0.1831817374980098,0.03617476855818544,0.0533880859359729,0.10181627262191666,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.056287051260584635,0.13551698856999078,0.0,0.0,0.06532508102163832,0.0,0.07174017246920421,0.0,0.04266444066643691,0.0,0.0,0.18966171355199585,0.0,0.0,0.06814053779093275,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06628352494378432,0.034981348939201296,0.15565406760777106,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19526474647378408,0.17983651426448038,0.09329112103368224,0.06379579689121251,0.05620568032544336,0.05632981470935211,0.05345145689124948,0.14242010147073536,0.1389668552037294,0.16234337957761885,0.0,0.12045769032125765,0.12746415507690334,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07454818539863049,0.10161247336102937,0.06765175966450135,0.0935827517325485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06769438102728986,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13358365346649514,0.13557411840347708,0.04313208764041089,0.1452301212890163,0.0,0.0,0.07067775949151314,0.0,0.060762818176097126,0.04412812380273251,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06090614889710324,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06833818150320922,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06441899089103775,0.20288888322197984,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.045053051430614034,0.0,0.050832386884752695,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10232176557516892,0.11126890758694284,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12686222580192608,0.12235645495555444,0.0,0.0,0.18557929896829126,0.0,0.12066887341494237,0.060821995336200876,0.0,0.08643074917521433,0.0,0.1243570634420748,0.06626373885684265,0.0,0.16492408094962555,0.0,0.10503875516176334,0.0,0.050523813413466914,0.10211522324776548,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.04521639216391712,0.0,0.0,0.08197930778867224
divorce,Encelitsep,2018/04/20,Coming up on one year Took me a couple months to reset my brain and come to terms with my future. Was pretty depressed for awhile there but I can truly say I am out of the worse part of the storm. I am working. I am traveling. I see my family regularly and I am actually saving money! For a bit I went a little crazy on tinder but I am way more relaxed now and I don’t feel so desperate to prove that I am attractive to myself. It’s great to be here now. I wish you all the best luck and hope that maybe my little story helps you know that things can get better.,1.1767954545454522,2.8994860583333377,3.5128787878787904,89.30727272727276,80.08333333333334,6.363636363636362,17.575757575757574,7.348242739294969,0.1379166666666669,437,8,97,6,11,151,81,120,0.08800000000000001,0.608,0.304,0.9878,0,0,0,0,0,0,8.0,0,2,0,3,5,9,0,0,6,0,11,1,1,0,2,18,21,7,0,2,2,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,5,8,0,0,3,2,1,5,1,1,0,1,3,3,19,8,14,17,6,18,0,1,1,0,4,6,0,2,6,71,24,1,0.0,0.0,0.17627137816871485,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18956278798070356,0.15975487127648968,0.1972040349360543,0.0,0.0,0.20164573998854526,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31119801144318016,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19986655564113773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15557860881953198,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1702843559428346,0.0,0.091333278840442,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0943730873379411,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19914809854735785,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1210742359772706,0.0,0.0,0.17940894652747194,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09927096265907318,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3620826733697693,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18146974301143493,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14417923199946686,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12240133646649662,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.19560752229572867,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18376831065517124,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14364630754488195,0.0,0.0,0.14394080961025746,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12000428478156773,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.20068948444338755,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1433777640616271,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.16744824615744602,0.0,0.0,0.20771859570071965,0.0,0.0,0.131502696906649,0.0,0.18408006916831335,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.11632148343464885
divorce,figuredmydivorceout,2018/04/20,"Finally admitted to myself that I didn't need to get divorced it's been 18 months now since I moved out. No reason not to finish the divorce now, it'll happen very soon. And I'm for the first time allowing myself to admit to myself that I didn't actually need to get divorced (but I will)

even though i cheated, i could have patched it up. i could have been remorseful and made it up to her and gotten over my ego and pride. she would have taken me back and we very likely could have gone the rest of our lives without it becoming that much of an issue. but i didn't for some reason. i definitely could have, but i decided not to for some reason. it's definitely not b/c i fell out of love with her. i still liked being around her despite the few things that really were hard on me, that i came to resent perhaps even? i didn't have any reason to come to hate her, so it's not like we were fighting all the time and i was just fed up. it wasn't that. but still, for some reason i opted to take the path that i knew would hurt her more, and complicate our lives and the lives of our children. for another woman. who i've since had to work HARD with to keep that relationship alive. which i could have (and did) stop many times. yet still i kept going back. and maybe i got it working enough now that i can be happy with her, and she with me. and maybe i'll forget that this thought ever existed.

pretty fucked up, right",2.41357142857143,3.9033473129251735,3.636479591836736,90.80941326530613,75.87074829931973,6.8047619047619055,20.753401360544213,7.492282038375204,0.4613972789115639,1106,25,246,14,24,360,143,294,0.126,0.765,0.109,-0.5465,0,0,0,0,5,0,32.0,5,0,0,4,17,12,5,0,8,0,31,3,0,7,2,63,56,18,0,9,10,0,2,3,0,4,0,0,0,2,23,23,1,3,10,0,0,6,11,6,0,1,22,2,41,6,37,23,9,35,0,1,0,2,24,10,1,3,22,186,64,2,0.0,0.0,0.090880916065068,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06333122438790764,0.09765435589903952,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08290496142979384,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14322160797651373,0.0,0.0,0.10285416858105556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10651528897674556,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08022278106464394,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3717814674938497,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09622762427980236,0.0,0.12302225620808906,0.08424092572860634,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10201876814490507,0.0,0.07921586865250026,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08609668244091871,0.0973125951389762,0.0,0.052927616651435305,0.0,0.0744841343980273,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08235407136795096,0.09913803884125244,0.16685140218286962,0.09194605825660387,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09969700999801047,0.0,0.0,0.0972029574424701,0.0,0.08277774052983346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13649504579722085,0.0,0.2467050505475913,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08405297106908641,0.0881213441046081,0.0,0.0944186522750992,0.1871221142571035,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.07433504416768155,0.09898187449515973,0.06846086659711338,0.13810862483332645,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.09474613853694888,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.05966111494819072,0.4787629630513653,0.0,0.09998618422230746,0.0,0.07953204753121057,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15407529860862726,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.22311991427280556,0.07786039621477471,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0700217616515649,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.06187107314860616,0.0,0.0914992187779752,0.07393438629331095,0.1629136061247301,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15368311086230346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0897734733328772,0.0,0.13559870790213588,0.0,0.0,0.1323129886491699,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,thesuff,2018/04/20,Epiphany #6654186 It took as much courage for her to ask for the divorce as it is taking me to get over the divorce. I think I’ve finally learned to respect her choice. That is all. ,1.2712162162162173,3.5664857837837864,1.7310135135135134,99.12733108108112,83.05405405405406,4.781081081081081,30.871621621621625,5.985473137389443,1.1707891891891893,142,8,32,1,4,43,27,37,0.0,0.84,0.16,0.743,0,0,0,0,2,0,4.0,0,0,0,0,0,2,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,0,1,3,7,2,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,3,0,0,0,2,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,1,0,4,2,8,6,2,3,0,0,0,0,5,1,0,0,1,21,7,1,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4140611801224571,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4851863946764217,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2314022608321609,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.32558990511919605,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.3330132945377185,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2837989253514995,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.4920894476954368,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0
divorce,bachcollides,2018/04/20,"The nitty gritty of dividing assets (little confused about value calculations) Getting some legal advice soon but wanted to hear some thoughts so I'm not completely lost.

You're separating. The kids have two beds in one house. There will soon be two houses and the parent who goes will have to buy two beds (and pots and pans and microwave and washing machine etc).

How do you value things when doing this? Our TV, for example, wouldn't get $50 if sold privately. But to buy a TV of the same size would cost probably $300-400.

Thus the person keeping it gets more ""value"" than the one leaving. To split the value of that TV is $25 each. But the one leaving then needs to spend $300-400 to replace it. They end up significantly worse off financially.

Basically trying to understand what happens when entire household goods are valued at super low amount - but the replacement of all those goods wouldn't be covered by any settlement.

Some of the things we own are new - like the $3000 mac computer. Others are older (like the fridge) but declaring the value to be $200 makes no sense because half of that ($100) is nothing compared to the $700 to buy a fridge again.

What have other people done in this situation?",5.350258620689655,6.539800232758624,5.781379310344827,79.43905172413795,68.22413793103448,8.386206896551725,28.29310344827586,8.660442795831766,2.094658620689655,962,32,177,15,16,309,148,232,0.046,0.833,0.12,0.9511,1,0,0,0,0,0,39.0,2,1,1,2,9,8,0,1,16,0,19,1,0,3,1,31,33,16,0,6,7,1,0,2,0,5,1,1,2,2,14,7,0,1,2,3,6,0,4,3,0,7,4,1,4,5,25,21,10,16,0,2,0,0,9,7,0,5,11,116,18,2,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13379736411879098,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0931107995617994,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0834656132821186,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14355879263630966,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.14011745661547398,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12127113690849756,0.0,0.15270282034835225,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.21460630901414746,0.0,0.0,0.2296852439387145,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.12107855968916854,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15431962698153195,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.31597630516020475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1217014463425346,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2899585913115703,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13378511651229366,0.13723055354331096,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1494651637967687,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0913956582853569,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.10152499504704793,0.0,0.1322389055317788,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13137914442480791,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.2783431143182805,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15203428016991113,0.0,0.0,0.09492360235899612,0.11955391036489378,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.1476237175465562,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.15390465041425475,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.18192811354246505,0.0,0.0,0.1086997747069542,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0929601958942808,0.0,0.4012550078089999,0.14253932086906002,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.08075940094311834,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.0,0.13953393324878008,0.09726456644889857,0.0,0.0,0.0